The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1407 - Michael Malice

00:00:03.000 And...

00:00:04.000 Booyah! 0.99

00:00:04.000 So what were you saying about tarantula hawks? 0.99

00:00:06.000 Tarantula hawk wasps. 0.99

00:00:07.000 That big fucker that Maynard sent me. 0.99

00:00:09.000 So this is one of the... 0.99

00:00:11.000 There's a guy who made a scale, right?

00:00:13.000 And he got stung by all the different insects.

00:00:15.000 And this is, I think, five?

00:00:17.000 There's also a five plus.

00:00:19.000 They're very hard to get you to sting them.

00:00:21.000 There's a guy who online goes through and gets them all stung.

00:00:24.000 But the reason they're so dangerous or so venomous, what they do is they sting the tarantula, lay their eggs inside the tarantula, and then tarantula is eaten alive by the offspring for weeks.

00:00:36.000 And then when this was discovered, this kind of stuff in the Middle Ages, they were like, this is a big theological dilemma because why would God make this happen?

00:00:45.000 Yeah, why would God do that?

00:00:47.000 Nature is, I mean, I could go down this rabbit hole for hours.

00:00:51.000 Please do. 1.00

00:00:52.000 Have you seen that gigantic flower that they found that smells like shit? 0.98

00:00:56.000 So one of the cousins to that flower is called something infanticida. 0.98

00:01:02.000 So the insane thing about that flower, Rafflesia, it's the largest flower in the world.

00:01:05.000 It only lasts two weeks.

00:01:07.000 Yeah. 0.85

00:01:07.000 It's a parasite. 0.85

00:01:09.000 Right.

00:01:09.000 So the plant that it comes from has no stems, roots, or leaves.

00:01:14.000 So you can't keep it on display because it is entirely inside another species of vine.

00:01:20.000 Yeah, it's completely parasitic, right?

00:01:22.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:01:22.000 It just sits there and it's fucking huge. 0.99

00:01:23.000 Look at that thing. 0.99

00:01:24.000 Yeah, and they smell.

00:01:26.000 They're called corpse flowers because they smell like rotting flesh too.

00:01:29.000 How weird.

00:01:29.000 And they don't know why it's so big.

00:01:31.000 It gets to trap rats.

00:01:33.000 That's what I would imagine.

00:01:33.000 No, it's not carnivorous.

00:01:35.000 It's the flower.

00:01:35.000 It gets sneaky.

00:01:37.000 They're adapting, bro.

00:01:38.000 That's what it is.

00:01:39.000 They get ready to eat people.

00:01:41.000 Look how big they are.

00:01:42.000 They're gorgeous.

00:01:43.000 They are beautiful.

00:01:44.000 Oh, wow.

00:01:44.000 Look at that one where the guy's got his hand on it before it blows.

00:01:47.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:01:48.000 So that's what it looks like sitting on the ground, and then it pops open. 0.99

00:01:51.000 That's some fucking avatar shit right there. 0.97

00:01:54.000 So I have something from the island of Socotra, which is an archipelago near the coast of Yemen, called Duvalyandra, D-U-V-A-L-I-N-D-R-A. A, and their flowers look and smell like meat. 0.99

00:02:07.000 Because you want to attract flies.

00:02:09.000 And the hotter it gets in the house, the more the flower smells.

00:02:14.000 It's really cool when you get it to bloom.

00:02:16.000 So it's actually heat activated just like rotten food would be.

00:02:19.000 Yeah!

00:02:19.000 To trick the flies because flies are going to be attracted.

00:02:22.000 There it is.

00:02:23.000 That is bananas.

00:02:24.000 There, number seven.

00:02:25.000 That one's just right there, James.

00:02:26.000 You see that in the second, the third one on the left.

00:02:28.000 There, that's it.

00:02:30.000 You can look at the texture.

00:02:31.000 Wow.

00:02:32.000 And it even has hairs to replicate a wound.

00:02:35.000 Ugh! 0.97

00:02:36.000 It looks like a blown out butthole. 0.98

00:02:38.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:02:39.000 But from an alien. 0.99

00:02:40.000 Oh, there is a butthole. 0.99

00:02:40.000 Look at the little dot in there. 0.99

00:02:42.000 Oh, there is a butthole that smells like shit. 1.00

00:02:44.000 If you look up White Slonia, White, S-L-O-A-N-E-A, it smells like an asshole and has hairs that wriggle in the wind. 1.00

00:02:52.000 Oh, jeez. 1.00

00:02:53.000 And it's to replicate an asshole. 1.00

00:02:55.000 Oh, sorry. 1.00

00:02:56.000 What was that?

00:02:57.000 W-H-I-T-E-S-L-O-A-N-E-A. White Sloania. 1.00

00:03:02.000 Named after White and Sloan.

00:03:03.000 It's from Somalia.

00:03:05.000 Oh my god.

00:03:05.000 Yeah, look at those flowers.

00:03:08.000 Oh god.

00:03:10.000 How weird.

00:03:12.000 Just the sheer variety. 0.99

00:03:14.000 And that smells like a butthole and has hair on it. 1.00

00:03:16.000 Yeah, and the hair moves. 0.99

00:03:17.000 My friend calls it God's Mistakes.

00:03:20.000 But the sheer variety of nature is so weird.

00:03:23.000 Isn't it great?

00:03:24.000 I mean, that's not unusual. 1.00

00:03:27.000 If an asshole is not unusual, and every animal has an asshole, why is it unusual to have a plant that looks like an asshole? 1.00

00:03:32.000 And we have the expression, you attract more flies with honey than vigor. 1.00

00:03:36.000 But it's also like a pig to shit, a fly to shit. 1.00

00:03:39.000 You're going to have flowers that smell like shit. 1.00

00:03:41.000 Yes. 0.99

00:03:41.000 And there's a lot of them. 0.99

00:03:42.000 There's a whole family of them.

00:03:43.000 And they're gorgeous.

00:03:45.000 Yeah.

00:03:45.000 They smell.

00:03:46.000 Yeah.

00:03:47.000 And when they pop open, they fart.

00:03:48.000 It's like a fart because it's contained and then it pops open.

00:03:52.000 Oh, so like the gases come out of it when it pops open.

00:03:54.000 Yeah.

00:03:55.000 It releases a dose.

00:03:57.000 Yeah, look up the biggest one, stapelia, S-T-A-P-E-L-I-A. Are there any plants that have the same effect on people?

00:04:06.000 You know that one...

00:04:07.000 Well, it's not even a plant, actually.

00:04:09.000 It's a fungus.

00:04:09.000 There's one branch of the cordyceps mushroom that infects ants and gets them to explode so that they spray the spores everywhere.

00:04:17.000 They die.

00:04:18.000 It grows inside of them and then literally explodes out into the air so the spores will infect other ants.

00:04:24.000 So when ants find out that one of their members has been infected, they'll take that ant way out of the community.

00:04:30.000 They'll take them on a walk.

00:04:32.000 Yeah.

00:04:32.000 Because they know somehow or another that this thing's going to blow up on all their family.

00:04:36.000 They had found footage of this and literally like the mushroom grows out of the ant's head and then it pops out.

00:04:42.000 There's a lot of things that they're learning now about nature controlling the minds of other beings, which is really a recent kind of discovery.

00:04:52.000 Like Fox News.

00:04:54.000 Right?

00:04:55.000 Fox News, am I right?

00:04:57.000 Yeah.

00:04:59.000 More like phone news.

00:05:01.000 Am I right? 0.73

00:05:04.000 Yeah, that sort of parasitic relationship.

00:05:08.000 One of my favorite ones ever was the grasshopper that gets infected by this aquatic worm.

00:05:13.000 The aquatic worm gets it to commit suicide so that it can give birth to this worm.

00:05:17.000 It literally gets into the wiring of the grasshopper's brain and convinces it to jump into a puddle.

00:05:22.000 What about the louse that eats fish's tongues and then becomes a functional tongue?

00:05:27.000 And becomes a tongue.

00:05:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:05:28.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:05:29.000 So there's a lot of this kind of crazy stuff. 1.00

00:05:32.000 My understanding is the majority of species are actually parasitic.

00:05:36.000 Really? 0.89

00:05:37.000 Yeah, because it's so much easier to be a parasite.

00:05:39.000 You latch on, you're getting nutrition, you don't got to do anything, you don't have to hunt, you don't have to graze, and you're just set. 0.53

00:05:46.000 Well, that's also just obviously parasitic.

00:05:48.000 If you want to think about it, most organisms are semi-parasitic in that we need other organisms in order to survive.

00:05:55.000 You know, like if you're a farmer, I don't want to say you're a parasite, if you're a beef farmer.

00:05:59.000 There's a headline. 1.00

00:06:00.000 Beef farmers are parasites, says Joe Rogan. 0.99

00:06:03.000 2020 is going to be tough for you. 0.99

00:06:05.000 You're kind of living off that organism.

00:06:06.000 Well, yeah.

00:06:07.000 And the other thing is, if every species has several parasites, think how many we have, lice and mites, it makes sense that the majority are going to be parasitable.

00:06:15.000 Even at the micro level, you get down to our gut.

00:06:17.000 Oh, yeah.

00:06:18.000 All the different bacteria that's on your skin.

00:06:20.000 We're filled with stuff.

00:06:22.000 Yeah, it's really fascinating how clever...

00:06:27.000 Many of these organisms are.

00:06:29.000 It's a trip.

00:06:30.000 It's a weird thing to be a person, my friend.

00:06:33.000 I wouldn't know.

00:06:35.000 No, I'm kidding.

00:06:35.000 Yeah, yeah, I agree.

00:06:36.000 But it's just also weird how we're finding out things that are even crazier.

00:06:41.000 I think?

00:06:58.000 Yeah, that's one of the more amazing things about the bottom of the ocean, right?

00:07:02.000 It's a bioluminescence.

00:07:03.000 We see these creatures that have a light source.

00:07:06.000 They give off light.

00:07:07.000 Well, there's also dragonfish use a red light source because red doesn't show up for others.

00:07:13.000 So they can see with it, but no one else can.

00:07:15.000 It's like night vision.

00:07:16.000 Oh, that's so crazy.

00:07:18.000 You saw this?

00:07:18.000 Yeah.

00:07:19.000 This is just amazing.

00:07:20.000 Oh, it's so cool.

00:07:22.000 It's so pretty.

00:07:23.000 What's amazing is how they're freaking out.

00:07:25.000 The scientists are watching it.

00:07:26.000 They're like, what is going on?

00:07:28.000 Oh, I love this thing.

00:07:28.000 Look at that thing.

00:07:30.000 And it also has a parasite on it or a symbiotic relationship. 0.72

00:07:32.000 There's a copepod living inside.

00:07:34.000 Resident isopod?

00:07:36.000 Yeah.

00:07:36.000 Is that what that is?

00:07:36.000 Yeah.

00:07:37.000 Fuck, look how pretty that is. 1.00

00:07:38.000 Now, this thing has never seen light for millions of years. 1.00

00:07:41.000 It's the bottom of the sea.

00:07:42.000 So the fact that it knows how to react or is having a reaction is pretty cool.

00:07:48.000 Just the fact that that's a real thing.

00:07:50.000 That exists.

00:07:51.000 If we found that on a planet somewhere, we would freak out.

00:07:54.000 This is the overlord!

00:07:55.000 This is the overmind of the planet!

00:07:57.000 And it's in a gelatinous form, and it communicates to you with vibrations!

00:08:01.000 This is why my autism wouldn't let me watch Star Trek as a kid, because I knew about all this stuff, and then I'm watching Star Trek, and they're going to another planet, and it's like a guy with a blue face, and I'm just like, this makes... 0.99

00:08:13.000 No, this is stupid. 0.98

00:08:13.000 It's just a guy. 0.98

00:08:14.000 It's just a guy, whereas look at Earth.

00:08:15.000 Look at this.

00:08:16.000 Right.

00:08:16.000 Look at an octopus.

00:08:17.000 Yeah.

00:08:18.000 You've seen the video of the octopus taking out the seagull?

00:08:21.000 Oh yeah, what about the blanket octopus?

00:08:23.000 What's interesting though is they saved an eagle.

00:08:26.000 An octopus took out an eagle in Vancouver Island.

00:08:28.000 An eagle?

00:08:29.000 Yes, an eagle.

00:08:30.000 And the fishermen pulled it ashore and removed the octopus from the noble eagle.

00:08:35.000 But a seagull? 0.99

00:08:36.000 They were like, sorry bitch, that's a wrap. 1.00

00:08:39.000 Well, they're nasty. 1.00

00:08:39.000 They're thieves. 1.00

00:08:40.000 Well, they are thieves, but I think that... 1.00

00:08:42.000 And they smell. 1.00

00:08:43.000 Eagles are thieves too. 0.99

00:08:44.000 That's true.

00:08:44.000 We're talking about a company that raises organic chickens that lost...

00:08:49.000 $2.2 million in chickens to eagles.

00:08:52.000 They killed 160,000 eagles.

00:08:54.000 Or excuse me, the eagles killed 160,000 chickens.

00:08:58.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.

00:08:58.000 So here it is.

00:08:59.000 The octopus caught a bald eagle.

00:09:01.000 Why does that octopus hate America?

00:09:02.000 Well, he doesn't.

00:09:03.000 He's in Canada.

00:09:05.000 Bald eagles live in Canada, too.

00:09:07.000 They're expats. 1.00

00:09:07.000 They go over there to party and to have sex with underage eagles. 1.00

00:09:11.000 They were draft dodgers. 1.00

00:09:12.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:09:13.000 There's no rules up there in that wild land to the north. 0.99

00:09:17.000 But look at that, they decided to save the fucking thing. 0.99

00:09:19.000 Isn't that weird? 1.00

00:09:20.000 Oh my god, wow.

00:09:22.000 If you're gonna save it, I think you should eat the octopus too, because you win.

00:09:25.000 Yeah.

00:09:25.000 The crew estimated that the octopus could have been as large as 4.5 feet.

00:09:28.000 Good.

00:09:29.000 Everybody gets to eat.

00:09:30.000 Yeah, that's a lot of meat.

00:09:31.000 Don't let it go.

00:09:32.000 There's plenty of them things. 1.00

00:09:33.000 Jack that fucker. 1.00

00:09:34.000 Get lunch. 1.00

00:09:35.000 It's only got a year-long lifespan anyway.

00:09:37.000 Does it?

00:09:37.000 Oh, yeah.

00:09:38.000 You know the octopus life cycle?

00:09:39.000 That big?

00:09:40.000 Oh, yeah.

00:09:40.000 It only lives a year?

00:09:41.000 Yeah.

00:09:41.000 Oh, I definitely would have eaten it then.

00:09:43.000 Yeah.

00:09:43.000 It was zero remorse.

00:09:44.000 Zero fucks. 1.00

00:09:45.000 I would have been zero remorseful if I found it only lived a year. 0.99

00:09:48.000 Yeah.

00:09:49.000 I'm like, look at him.

00:09:49.000 He's got to be 11 and a half months.

00:09:50.000 And they don't really feel pain.

00:09:51.000 They can cannibalize themselves.

00:09:53.000 Well, they let their arms go when the female octopus tries to eat them. 0.93

00:09:56.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:09:57.000 Female octopuses, this is one of my favorite parts about the animal kingdom. 0.99

00:10:01.000 They pretend sometimes that they want to have sex with a male octopus, then they just jack them and eat them. 0.85

00:10:06.000 What about the cuttlefish where they pretend to be female so they can get laid? 0.99

00:10:10.000 Yeah, they're like beta males that are male feminists. 1.00

00:10:13.000 Yeah.

00:10:13.000 They pretend to be something unnatural.

00:10:15.000 They pretend they're female. 1.00

00:10:16.000 They tend to be female. 1.00

00:10:17.000 And then they fuck the females when the male's not looking. 1.00

00:10:18.000 They have female mannerisms and characteristics just like these beta males. 1.00

00:10:22.000 And they sneak up next to them as an ally and get their rocks off.

00:10:26.000 It's like every Washington Post reporter in mollusk form.

00:10:30.000 You said that, not me. 1.00

00:10:32.000 Well, you're the one who said that farmers are parasites. 0.98

00:10:34.000 But you do have an excuse because you claimed autism, which is a good move. 1.00

00:10:40.000 That's why you should listen to me about climate change also.

00:10:42.000 Yeah, you're already...

00:10:42.000 Right.

00:10:43.000 I was saying that earlier, first podcast, that a friend of mine who actually used to work with autistic kids thinks that girl is autistic.

00:10:51.000 She is autistic. 0.98

00:10:52.000 She says it.

00:10:52.000 It's on her Twitter bio.

00:10:53.000 Oh! 0.60

00:10:54.000 Well, there you go.

00:10:54.000 Yeah.

00:10:55.000 I didn't know.

00:10:55.000 That's how little...

00:10:56.000 I'm paying attention to the news these days.

00:10:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:10:58.000 I'm so happy.

00:10:59.000 So we should definitely listen to the 16-year-old college high school dropout about science.

00:11:03.000 So she is autistic. 0.95

00:11:05.000 It says that on her...

00:11:06.000 It says, I am autistic.

00:11:07.000 Yeah, Asperger's, which is not a diagnosis anymore.

00:11:09.000 I am autistic plus how dare you.

00:11:12.000 Yeah.

00:11:12.000 17-year-old climate change environmental activist with Asperger's.

00:11:16.000 Oh.

00:11:16.000 Was that always there with Asperger's?

00:11:18.000 Yes.

00:11:19.000 Really?

00:11:19.000 So my most successful tweet ever was I said- How many tweets, excuse me, how many followers did you have, Jamie?

00:11:25.000 Only six, what?

00:11:26.000 Four million almost.

00:11:27.000 3.91 million.

00:11:28.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:11:29.000 Those are rookie numbers.

00:11:30.000 You got to bump that up.

00:11:31.000 My biggest ever tweet, I said, there's no one more privileged than the girl who refuses to go to school until everyone on earth changes the weather for her.

00:11:39.000 And then people are like, blah, blah, blah.

00:11:41.000 And I'm like, okay, here's the rule. 1.00

00:11:42.000 Weather is when it contradicts your bullshit. 1.00

00:11:45.000 Climate is when it supports your bullshit. 1.00

00:11:47.000 Because it's not weather, it's climate. 1.00

00:11:48.000 Okay, right.

00:11:49.000 Go back to that first video that's on her page, the pinned video.

00:11:54.000 See it there?

00:11:55.000 Can you play that?

00:11:56.000 I want to hear what she has to say.

00:11:57.000 Oh, God.

00:11:57.000 Super important.

00:11:58.000 Friday's for future.

00:12:00.000 The school strike continues.

00:12:01.000 This is in September.

00:12:02.000 She was striking from school.

00:12:04.000 She's on school strike for the climate. 0.96

00:12:06.000 Every Friday we will sit outside the Swedish Parliament until Sweden is in line with the Paris Agreement.

00:12:13.000 We urge everyone to do the same, wherever you are, sit outside your Parliament or local government building.

00:12:24.000 Okay, pause it.

00:12:25.000 She's got a beautiful voice.

00:12:25.000 Does she?

00:12:26.000 I like it.

00:12:27.000 Nice music behind it, too.

00:12:28.000 I do.

00:12:29.000 It's soothing.

00:12:30.000 I feel like we're all going to work together and stop this thing, Michael.

00:12:32.000 It's a very brave new world.

00:12:33.000 We better stop this thing.

00:12:34.000 No, not her.

00:12:35.000 No, the climate.

00:12:37.000 Let's stop the climate.

00:12:38.000 First of all, the Nazis are lighting the rainforest on fire so that they can make more cows. 0.94

00:12:44.000 So you need to go vegan.

00:12:45.000 And also Australia.

00:12:46.000 Yes.

00:12:47.000 Australia, do you know Tim Pool tweeted a statistic about the Australia fires?

00:12:52.000 See if you can find it.

00:12:53.000 It was 500 million animals.

00:12:55.000 Yeah, that's one horrific statistic.

00:12:58.000 But his statistic was, I believe, on the number of people, I'm pretty sure it was Tim Pool, I might be wrong now, I'm second guessing myself, the number of people that actually intentionally set those fires.

00:13:09.000 Wow.

00:13:10.000 Yeah.

00:13:10.000 There's not just one fire.

00:13:12.000 There's many, many, many, many fires, and there's not just accidental fires.

00:13:16.000 There are fires that were set on purpose, and not a small amount of them.

00:13:19.000 Like, a significant percentage of these fires were set intentionally.

00:13:22.000 What, to just clear ground? 1.00

00:13:23.000 Assholes. 1.00

00:13:24.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

00:13:25.000 That's despicable. 1.00

00:13:26.000 Yeah, literally assholes that probably never knew that it could get this crazy. 1.00

00:13:30.000 A big problem with that is Australia, there's many species that only live there. 0.99

00:13:34.000 They're endemic there.

00:13:35.000 And Australia won't let them be exported.

00:13:37.000 So you don't have breeding colonies of platypus or echidna everywhere else.

00:13:41.000 So when something like this happens, it's really disproportionately bad.

00:13:44.000 Yeah, they were saying that koala bears are functionally extinct.

00:13:47.000 No, but then we Googled that, and they were refuting that, right?

00:13:51.000 Weren't they, Jamie?

00:13:52.000 Well, they're having this cancer, which is contagious, and they're pissing themselves to the bone.

00:13:57.000 Like, it's really, really bad what's happening to them.

00:13:59.000 Yeah, and I don't understand how cancer can be contagious, but it's spreading venereally, yeah.

00:14:04.000 I read about that on, or I listened to that, rather, on a Radiolab podcast.

00:14:09.000 It was the only form of cancer that they had ever recorded that was contagious.

00:14:12.000 It makes no sense.

00:14:13.000 So crazy.

00:14:14.000 And all they eat is eucalyptus trees, right?

00:14:17.000 All they eat is one kind of leaf.

00:14:19.000 And they also have the smallest brain-to-body proportion of any animal, and they don't know why. 1.00

00:14:23.000 They're violent when you fuck them. 1.00

00:14:25.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:14:25.000 Violent. 1.00

00:14:26.000 You try to fuck them? 1.00

00:14:27.000 I've never tried to fuck a koala. 1.00

00:14:28.000 I don't know why I say that. 1.00

00:14:30.000 But no, are they nasty?

00:14:31.000 No.

00:14:32.000 They're wild animals and they're brutal during the mating process. 0.99

00:14:36.000 A lot of kids have been severely traumatized watching koala bears rape other koala bears.

00:14:42.000 You're like, oh no!

00:14:43.000 Pandas apparently too.

00:14:44.000 Well, also cats. 0.95

00:14:46.000 It's always rape. 1.00

00:14:48.000 But he slices her up with the barbs on his tail. 0.99

00:14:52.000 They make noises. 0.99

00:14:53.000 You're like, what in the fuck is happening outside my bedroom door? 1.00

00:14:57.000 She's being raped with a knife. 1.00

00:14:59.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:14:59.000 Cuts her up inside, right? 1.00

00:15:01.000 And seals her up, yeah. 0.95

00:15:02.000 And he's also biting her neck.

00:15:04.000 Yeah.

00:15:05.000 Like sharks.

00:15:06.000 And they go to war sometimes, too. 1.00

00:15:07.000 They fucking fight and claw each other and shit. 1.00

00:15:09.000 Well, then they also kill the kids so that she'd get her period again. 1.00

00:15:13.000 Cats do that, too?

00:15:14.000 Yeah, lions, all felines.

00:15:16.000 I didn't know kitty cats do that. 0.95

00:15:17.000 They have that gland on the roof of the mouth, the male, so they'll make that face, and then they're smelling if it's their kids. 0.97

00:15:23.000 Oh, they're doing that with their mouth?

00:15:25.000 Yes.

00:15:26.000 Whoa.

00:15:27.000 They can smell if it's their own kids?

00:15:29.000 Yes. 1.00

00:15:30.000 That is fucking bonkers. 1.00

00:15:32.000 But that's just amazing that like, okay, do I have to kill these children so I can rape their mom? 1.00

00:15:37.000 You know who else does that? 1.00

00:15:38.000 Who?

00:15:38.000 Dolphins.

00:15:39.000 Dolphins?

00:15:40.000 Dolphins.

00:15:40.000 Do what?

00:15:40.000 They kill the kids?

00:15:41.000 Infanticide. 0.96

00:15:42.000 Yeah.

00:15:42.000 Really?

00:15:43.000 I didn't know that.

00:15:43.000 That's why female dolphins are severely promiscuous.

00:15:47.000 Because the kids are always getting killed. 1.00

00:15:48.000 Because they fuck everybody, then you're not going to kill your kids because you don't know whose kids they are. 1.00

00:15:52.000 Right. 1.00

00:15:52.000 You don't have Maury Povich in the ocean. 1.00

00:15:55.000 No.

00:15:56.000 It's just all guesswork with dolphins. 1.00

00:15:58.000 She's like, damn, I have been fucking her a lot. 1.00

00:16:00.000 That is a cute kid. 1.00

00:16:01.000 Leave that kid alone. 1.00

00:16:03.000 Because when a female dolphin has birth, apparently she's not willing to mate until her baby is viable or until it's independent.

00:16:13.000 And I think that takes like six years. 0.99

00:16:15.000 So, they don't fuck for six years, and the male dolphins are like, fuck that, you don't. 1.00

00:16:20.000 And they'll kill the baby. 1.00

00:16:21.000 Aren't they the only other group that mates for pleasure or has sex for pleasure? 1.00

00:16:25.000 No, for sure, chimps. 0.98

00:16:27.000 Oh, yeah, bonobos, yeah.

00:16:28.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:29.000 I don't know what other animals do it.

00:16:31.000 How many...

00:16:32.000 I would want...

00:16:33.000 We should Google that.

00:16:34.000 How many different animals mate for pleasure? 0.87

00:16:36.000 I think it's bonobos and maybe dolphins and humans.

00:16:39.000 Dolphins definitely seem to do it.

00:16:41.000 Humans...

00:16:42.000 I hear do it.

00:16:44.000 I don't understand why they wouldn't want to meet for pleasure, because then you're getting laid more.

00:16:47.000 I guess you don't want to get laid too much, and then you can't carry the kids.

00:16:50.000 Right, and there's not enough resources. 0.98

00:16:51.000 I mean, I think that when you think about things like deer, I mean, there's a reason why they only fuck once a year, and there's so goddamn many of them. 0.99

00:16:58.000 Imagine if deer fucked every day. 0.99

00:17:00.000 It'd be a plague. 1.00

00:17:01.000 Pleasure. 0.99

00:17:02.000 Pigs, okay. 1.00

00:17:03.000 Look at those chimps fucking. 1.00

00:17:05.000 That's crazy. 1.00

00:17:05.000 They're doing it missionary style, and they're looking at each other in the eye. 1.00

00:17:09.000 And he's like, I'm gonna give you this good dick. 1.00

00:17:11.000 That could be rape. 1.00

00:17:12.000 I think that's the guy on the bottom, if I'm not mistaken. 0.84

00:17:14.000 Is that right? 1.00

00:17:15.000 Yeah, I look at the guy on the bottom, that's a bitch. 1.00

00:17:19.000 I think it's a guy. 1.00

00:17:20.000 Yes, other animals have.

00:17:21.000 No, it's a guy on top.

00:17:22.000 So how many animals does it say?

00:17:25.000 Humans, pigs, bonobos, dolphins, and one or two species of primates.

00:17:31.000 Oh, so it's only primates.

00:17:32.000 Yeah, we guessed them. 0.99

00:17:32.000 So it's only animals, but pigs! 0.99

00:17:34.000 Interesting, pigs. 1.00

00:17:36.000 Pigs are smart as fuck, man. 1.00

00:17:37.000 That's true. 1.00

00:17:39.000 They're also responsible for the most farm deaths.

00:17:42.000 Is that true?

00:17:43.000 Yep.

00:17:43.000 How so?

00:17:44.000 Like charging people?

00:17:45.000 No, they eat people.

00:17:46.000 People fall in and the pigs eat them.

00:17:48.000 Oh, yeah.

00:17:49.000 Didn't you ever see Snatched?

00:17:51.000 What's Snatched?

00:17:51.000 I don't even know what that is.

00:17:52.000 Brad Pitt, you piece of shit. 1.00

00:17:54.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

00:17:56.000 Well, this started off. 1.00

00:17:57.000 Guy Ritchie movie, Snatched.

00:17:59.000 Okay.

00:17:59.000 You don't know Snatched?

00:18:01.000 I'm a piece of shit. 1.00

00:18:02.000 Why would I know Snatched? 1.00

00:18:03.000 Snatch?

00:18:03.000 Yeah, it's not Snatched.

00:18:05.000 Oh, you don't know Snatched. 1.00

00:18:06.000 Oh, who's the piece of shit now? 1.00

00:18:07.000 Who's the piece of shit now? 1.00

00:18:08.000 My apologies. 1.00

00:18:10.000 That's a porn parody, Snatched.

00:18:13.000 It's based on the same storyline.

00:18:15.000 Will I be able to follow it if I haven't watched Snatched?

00:18:18.000 But there's a gangster, a really great character in the movie Snatched. 0.99

00:18:22.000 There's this British guy with these giant coke bottle glasses who's a fucking murderer. 1.00

00:18:26.000 And he talks about pigs. 1.00

00:18:27.000 About how you can get rid of bodies with pigs.

00:18:29.000 Oh, they did that in the Hannibal movie.

00:18:32.000 Yes, yes.

00:18:33.000 Apparently it's all because of, well, there's a reality to it, but also because there was a serial killer that lived in British Columbia, that guy. 0.99

00:18:40.000 He's fucking great. 0.95

00:18:42.000 Bricktop was his name in the movie. 0.99

00:18:44.000 I love his glasses.

00:18:45.000 Oh my god.

00:18:46.000 Can we play a segment of that?

00:18:47.000 No, we can't.

00:18:48.000 We'll get pulled.

00:18:50.000 Too bad, but the guy's fantastic.

00:18:52.000 What is the guy's name, that actor? 0.98

00:18:53.000 He's fucking fantastic. 0.99

00:18:55.000 He's not an actor. 1.00

00:18:57.000 While he's doing it, you're like, that guy's a gangster and he's really killing people. 0.56

00:19:00.000 He's really feeding them.

00:19:02.000 What is his name?

00:19:02.000 Alan Ford.

00:19:03.000 That guy is a fucking beast. 1.00

00:19:05.000 He's in a lot of things. 1.00

00:19:05.000 Dude, he's so good in that movie, though. 1.00

00:19:08.000 He's so good as that evil gangster.

00:19:11.000 I mean, you buy it hook, line, and sink.

00:19:14.000 It's a great movie.

00:19:15.000 You've never seen that movie?

00:19:16.000 No.

00:19:16.000 Dude, I love Guy Ritchie movies.

00:19:18.000 I love those English gangster movies like Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.

00:19:22.000 Yeah.

00:19:23.000 I love those movies.

00:19:24.000 Got a new one on the way.

00:19:24.000 Did you see it?

00:19:25.000 What?

00:19:25.000 Called The Gentleman.

00:19:27.000 Matthew McConaughey plays like a... 0.99

00:19:29.000 Millionaire weed dealer in London or some shit like that? 1.00

00:19:31.000 Yes! 0.99

00:19:32.000 Seems like it's just right out like a nice sequel.

00:19:34.000 Can't wait.

00:19:34.000 Beautiful.

00:19:36.000 I'm excited.

00:19:36.000 I love his movies.

00:19:37.000 Okay.

00:19:38.000 I'm not a big movie guy.

00:19:39.000 What do you do for fun? 1.00

00:19:41.000 Count numbers and shit? 1.00

00:19:42.000 Count numbers. 1.00

00:19:44.000 Okay.

00:19:45.000 We're going to break this down.

00:19:46.000 What does that even mean?

00:19:50.000 It means you're talking about being autistic. 0.91

00:19:53.000 They all sit around like number people. 1.00

00:19:55.000 Fucking Rain Man and shit, right? 1.00

00:19:57.000 He doesn't have to count. 1.00

00:19:58.000 Oh, he does.

00:19:58.000 All the time.

00:19:59.000 It's the opposite.

00:19:59.000 He sees the toothpicks and he knows how many there are.

00:20:02.000 You've got to count them to know how many there are.

00:20:03.000 No, that's the point.

00:20:05.000 He gets it instantaneously.

00:20:06.000 That toothpick thing is nonsense, you know?

00:20:07.000 Look, two cans.

00:20:08.000 It's like some superhero powers.

00:20:09.000 Four bottles.

00:20:10.000 Do you follow superhero movies or TV shows?

00:20:13.000 You seem like you would.

00:20:15.000 No offense.

00:20:16.000 There's a comic book written about me, so I am a comic book.

00:20:18.000 You knew this.

00:20:19.000 I did?

00:20:19.000 Harvey Pekar from American Splendor.

00:20:21.000 He wrote a graphic novel about me.

00:20:22.000 Oh, that's right.

00:20:23.000 We did talk about this.

00:20:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:20:24.000 So, I am a comic book character.

00:20:26.000 Do you like other comic books, though?

00:20:27.000 Yeah, I was a huge comic fan for a long time.

00:20:30.000 And I just went to some cool comic stores here in LA. There's some great ones.

00:20:34.000 Like that indie stuff, the problem is a lot of it's really pretty, but the writing is crap. 0.98

00:20:38.000 Oh.

00:20:39.000 And then you read it, you're like, eh, this isn't it.

00:20:40.000 It's hard to get both?

00:20:41.000 It's hard to get both.

00:20:43.000 Yeah.

00:20:44.000 Is there comic books, indie comic books, where one guy writes it and draws it?

00:20:49.000 Yeah, that's the point.

00:20:50.000 It's always that case, right?

00:20:52.000 But then you don't want the artist drawing it, and then it gets like...

00:20:55.000 Are there anybody who does that well, where they draw it and write the stories and do it well?

00:21:00.000 Yeah, Adrian Tomine does it better than anyone, I think. 0.99

00:21:03.000 Pull up some of his shit. 1.00

00:21:04.000 Is it a girl or a guy? 1.00

00:21:05.000 Guy.

00:21:06.000 Dan Klaus. 1.00

00:21:06.000 Didn't want to be a piece of shit. 1.00

00:21:08.000 That ship has sailed. 1.00

00:21:09.000 Yeah.

00:21:14.000 But Adrian is, I mean, I know both sides.

00:21:17.000 I know guys and girls.

00:21:18.000 It's called Optic Nerve.

00:21:20.000 Dan Klaus is amazing.

00:21:23.000 I'm blanking out their names, but there's a lot of real, real talents.

00:21:28.000 There it is.

00:21:29.000 It's very hipster.

00:21:30.000 It's good.

00:21:31.000 In the best way.

00:21:31.000 Good writing, good drawing.

00:21:33.000 Yeah, very emo.

00:21:34.000 I don't see any superheroes, bro.

00:21:35.000 What kind of comic is this?

00:21:37.000 Does anybody have magic?

00:21:38.000 Is there a dragon involved?

00:21:39.000 Or at least an alien?

00:21:40.000 This is just emo.

00:21:42.000 Everyone's crying.

00:21:43.000 Get this off the screen.

00:21:45.000 What word does he say to stop crying?

00:21:48.000 What magic word does he change from being a crybaby to a real man?

00:21:52.000 Did you watch The Watchman?

00:21:53.000 No.

00:21:54.000 Did you see The Watchman?

00:21:56.000 Didn't Alan Moore denounce it very vociferously?

00:21:59.000 Why did he do that?

00:22:00.000 I don't know. 0.98

00:22:01.000 I watched one quick screen of it and I was like, damn, Dr. Manhattan looks like a normal person. 0.95

00:22:07.000 No, he's got to look like a god. 0.99

00:22:08.000 Yes. 0.98

00:22:09.000 He's got to be jacked. 1.00

00:22:11.000 Dr. Manhattan is supposed to be fucking jacked. 1.00

00:22:14.000 Like the rock jacked. 0.99

00:22:16.000 The guy who played him in the movie got run over and killed at a young age.

00:22:21.000 The fitness actor.

00:22:22.000 That guy, he's dead.

00:22:24.000 No!

00:22:24.000 How old was he when he died?

00:22:26.000 30?

00:22:27.000 32?

00:22:27.000 A 15-year-old ran him over?

00:22:29.000 Is that what you're saying?

00:22:29.000 No, like a train or something.

00:22:30.000 I don't remember what it was.

00:22:31.000 Yeah, see, so he was a fitness guy?

00:22:33.000 Yeah, he was a fitness guy.

00:22:34.000 Greg Plitt, that was his name.

00:22:35.000 Let me see a picture of that again.

00:22:37.000 Let me get my pants off. 1.00

00:22:40.000 See, that's what Dr. Manhattan's supposed to look like. 0.99

00:22:42.000 He's supposed to look ridiculous, like a super person. 0.99

00:22:44.000 Because he's a god. 1.00

00:22:45.000 Yes, he's a god.

00:22:46.000 God on earth, yeah.

00:22:46.000 Yeah, and he's glowing and blue.

00:22:48.000 But now go to the new Dr. Manhattan.

00:22:51.000 The new Dr. Manhattan is like, hey, you're just a guy who maybe does CrossFit.

00:22:57.000 Sometimes.

00:22:58.000 Doesn't have the bun and the burger.

00:23:00.000 See, look at his body.

00:23:01.000 I mean, it's okay.

00:23:02.000 He's definitely in good shape.

00:23:04.000 Like, if he was playing a boxer, you'd be in it hook, line, and sinker.

00:23:07.000 Yeah.

00:23:08.000 But as Dr. Manhattan, you're like, hmm.

00:23:12.000 No, not quite.

00:23:13.000 He doesn't look inhuman.

00:23:16.000 My friend was like, yeah, and they also made him a black guy. 0.99

00:23:18.000 I go, duty's blue, so I don't know what the fuck's wrong with you. 0.98

00:23:22.000 Weren't they complaining about Will Smith being the genie for some reason? 0.99

00:23:26.000 Yes.

00:23:27.000 People complain about everything.

00:23:28.000 Although, I do have to tell you, I went to see Frozen, the musical, because I have daughters.

00:23:33.000 So I went to see Frozen.

00:23:34.000 First of all, it was at the Pantages.

00:23:36.000 It's a wonderful production.

00:23:37.000 It's excellent.

00:23:38.000 It's really good.

00:23:39.000 I mean, I actually enjoyed the musical.

00:23:41.000 It's very good.

00:23:42.000 However, it's about people that live in the Arctic, or they live in the Nordic country, right?

00:23:49.000 Right.

00:23:49.000 That's what it's supposed to be about.

00:23:50.000 There are all these blonde people, white people. 1.00

00:23:53.000 Well, the dad's black in the musical, and the mom's Chinese. 0.83

00:23:57.000 Yeah.

00:23:57.000 Okay?

00:23:58.000 And then the dad's black, and the mom's Chinese, which is great.

00:24:00.000 They're great actors.

00:24:01.000 And they have kids.

00:24:02.000 Okay?

00:24:03.000 And the kid, one of the kids is Chinese, and one of the kids is white.

00:24:06.000 And then the kids grow up, and they're both white. 0.95

00:24:08.000 Wait, the Chinese girl becomes white? 0.87

00:24:10.000 Oh yes, the Chinese girl becomes white. 0.98

00:24:11.000 And there's no explanation given at all.

00:24:13.000 The Chinese girl's little.

00:24:14.000 She's Chinese.

00:24:15.000 I should say Chinese. 1.00

00:24:16.000 I'm a piece of shit and there's a terrible thing to say. 1.00

00:24:18.000 I meant to say Asian. 1.00

00:24:19.000 You meant Chinaman.

00:24:20.000 No, I didn't.

00:24:21.000 She's a little Chinaman. 1.00

00:24:22.000 She's a girl! 0.70

00:24:23.000 A Chinaman girl.

00:24:24.000 I don't know if she's Chinese.

00:24:26.000 She was a young Asian girl.

00:24:27.000 And she became a white girl. 0.98

00:24:30.000 Did she make pee-pee in your coke? 1.00

00:24:32.000 That's how you know.

00:24:33.000 She was great at her job. 0.78

00:24:35.000 I mean, she had perfect singing and everything was beautiful.

00:24:39.000 They were very talented.

00:24:40.000 But they're requiring you to make this leap.

00:24:44.000 Like, now you have to know that this is now a different ethnicity.

00:24:49.000 This is a different person.

00:24:50.000 Not just a different person, but you can't even pretend that it's the same person.

00:24:55.000 In most movies where you have someone who plays a young version of the guy, it looks like the guy.

00:25:00.000 It's not like you have a young Chinese guy who becomes Clint Eastwood.

00:25:04.000 You're like, hey, what are we doing here?

00:25:07.000 If you have a young Clint Eastwood, he's supposed to look like he could be a young Clint Eastwood.

00:25:14.000 I talked about this in my last book, The New Right.

00:25:16.000 They were even complaining there was a video game that takes place in the Middle Ages, very popularly, maybe you guys know the name, I'm blanking on it, and they were complaining that there weren't enough black people there.

00:25:24.000 Because everyone on Twitter and Facebook still thinks they're in the 60s, and this is their personal march on Selma, and they're fighting against segregation.

00:25:30.000 I'm like, this isn't segregation, this is history.

00:25:32.000 Yeah, you can't.

00:25:34.000 If you want to make a movie about Egypt, you should use people that look like they're Egyptians. 1.00

00:25:39.000 Yes. 1.00

00:25:40.000 If you just decide you're going to just have only white people from Norway play Egyptians, people are going to want to kick your ass. 1.00

00:25:46.000 And that's kind of the same thing. 1.00

00:25:47.000 You're fucking with reality. 0.97

00:25:49.000 I'm not saying with Frozen, but with a movie, or any historical depiction, anything where you're depicting an actual time. 0.99

00:25:57.000 If you want to have...

00:25:59.000 Like the Wild West.

00:26:00.000 You want to do a movie about the Wild West.

00:26:01.000 You have to have European settlers. 1.00

00:26:03.000 You have to have some African slaves. 1.00

00:26:05.000 Sure.

00:26:05.000 And you have to have a lot of Native Americans.

00:26:08.000 You can't just decide, we're going to do a film about the Wild West, but everyone's black. 0.93

00:26:13.000 The Indians are black. 0.99

00:26:16.000 Cowboys are black. 0.98

00:26:16.000 All black crew. 0.98

00:26:17.000 All black writers. 0.76

00:26:18.000 Black power. 0.99

00:26:19.000 We're going to make it happen.

00:26:20.000 If you did that movie, people would be like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:26:24.000 Are there slaves?

00:26:25.000 Yes.

00:26:25.000 Okay, so the black people have slaves?

00:26:27.000 Yes.

00:26:27.000 My favorite comic book series of all time was Legion of Superheroes, right?

00:26:31.000 And it takes place in the 30th century.

00:26:34.000 30th century?

00:26:34.000 30th century, a thousand years from now.

00:26:35.000 I was just in the comic book store.

00:26:37.000 They just keep rebooting it.

00:26:38.000 Number two just came out.

00:26:39.000 And I was looking at the cover.

00:26:40.000 You have Chameleon Boy, who's orange with antennae.

00:26:43.000 Brainiac 5, who's green and a living computer.

00:26:46.000 Shadowlass is blue.

00:26:47.000 But they had to make Lightning Lad black for some reason now.

00:26:50.000 It's just like these are 40 diverse aliens... 1.00

00:26:53.000 Some of them don't even have a body, but they have to change the race. 1.00

00:26:58.000 It's just really kind of, I guess, the thing you do.

00:27:01.000 And stay woke.

00:27:02.000 But in retrospect, it's going to be embarrassing.

00:27:04.000 Do you not know about staying woke?

00:27:05.000 I'm very familiar.

00:27:07.000 Do you stay woke at all?

00:27:08.000 I never sleep.

00:27:09.000 Do you ever think about trying to be a little more woke and people like you better?

00:27:13.000 Ever think of that?

00:27:14.000 No, I don't think they would like me better.

00:27:15.000 I think they might.

00:27:16.000 If you might, maybe give in a little bit.

00:27:18.000 How can you like me better?

00:27:19.000 You were already at 11. Yeah.

00:27:22.000 I'm the pride of America.

00:27:24.000 This style's not going up.

00:27:25.000 It's such a strange time, man.

00:27:27.000 But it's always a strange time.

00:27:28.000 I think now what makes it good is that this can be called out and discussed and be like, look, this isn't about race or racism.

00:27:35.000 Why is it important to you that this Chinese girl in Frozen grows up to become white? 0.94

00:27:40.000 Just explain this to me.

00:27:41.000 I should say they did a great job.

00:27:43.000 Everybody was awesome.

00:27:45.000 I enjoyed it.

00:27:47.000 It didn't take away from my enjoyment.

00:27:49.000 It was a very good musical.

00:27:50.000 It did take away.

00:27:51.000 No, no, no.

00:27:51.000 I enjoyed it more.

00:27:53.000 I enjoyed it more because I saw the wokeness.

00:27:55.000 Thought provoking. 1.00

00:27:56.000 I saw they did some woke shit. 0.99

00:27:57.000 I was like, I see what you're doing. 1.00

00:27:58.000 Not to say that the Asian lady wasn't fantastic as the mom. 1.00

00:28:01.000 She was.

00:28:02.000 The black guy is the dad.

00:28:03.000 He was amazing.

00:28:04.000 But you want me to believe that a black guy made it with an Asian lady.

00:28:08.000 They made two blonde kids, and one of them started out Asian and then became European later.

00:28:13.000 We don't know that he was their dad.

00:28:16.000 Yes, we do.

00:28:17.000 It's part of the script.

00:28:18.000 They describe their parents.

00:28:20.000 They have children.

00:28:22.000 Yeah, but you don't know she's hoeing around. 1.00

00:28:24.000 No, she's not hoeing around because if she is, she's hoeing around with a goddamn chameleon because the child morphs as it gets older. 0.98

00:28:29.000 It becomes a different race. 0.99

00:28:31.000 It changed races of the same person, the same character.

00:28:35.000 Yeah, but the point is it's still not going to happen that a black guy and a Chinese person are going to have a white kid. 0.99

00:28:40.000 So maybe the Chinese lady had sex with the white guy. 1.00

00:28:42.000 Could be. 1.00

00:28:43.000 Could be. 0.99

00:28:44.000 Could be he's a cuck. 0.99

00:28:45.000 Yeah, it could be frozen refers to the sperm that was unfrozen. 0.99

00:28:48.000 Good point.

00:28:50.000 It's just amazing that Disney is...

00:28:53.000 People think corporate America is very conservative, but they're the first ones to be pushing this stuff.

00:28:58.000 I remember I was in Times Square in New York, Pride Month.

00:29:00.000 Rainbow flags everywhere.

00:29:01.000 And I said, only corporate America can make sodomine perversion look boring. 1.00

00:29:06.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

00:29:07.000 Am I wrong, though? 1.00

00:29:08.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

00:29:10.000 Yeah, in a way, yeah. 1.00

00:29:11.000 How am I wrong?

00:29:12.000 No, you're right.

00:29:13.000 Oh, okay.

00:29:13.000 No, I'm saying, no.

00:29:14.000 What do you say?

00:29:15.000 Am I wrong?

00:29:15.000 No.

00:29:17.000 Definitely wrong.

00:29:20.000 Look, do you remember when they had that 11-year-old drag queen?

00:29:24.000 Oh, Desmond is amazing.

00:29:25.000 Yeah.

00:29:26.000 Yeah.

00:29:26.000 And they were making this big deal about it.

00:29:28.000 Yeah.

00:29:28.000 And he's going to drag clubs and dancing around.

00:29:30.000 They put it in the news like it was some...

00:29:32.000 What a great thing.

00:29:35.000 What a great thing.

00:29:36.000 We live in his truth.

00:29:37.000 He's so brave.

00:29:38.000 Imagine if there was a 12-year-old that was just sworn to be a hoe. 1.00

00:29:42.000 Like, I am a hoe. 0.94

00:29:44.000 I'm just going to wear fishnets and high heels and I'm going to stick my ass out and I'm going to dance and pout around with a lot of makeup on. 0.71

00:29:52.000 How different is that?

00:30:15.000 Well, I mean, that would be the equivalent, right?

00:30:17.000 Because he's performing at gay clubs and they're cheering him on.

00:30:20.000 That's a place where guys go to hook up with guys. 1.00

00:30:22.000 Well, here's the question, too.

00:30:23.000 Do you think guys have hooked up with him?

00:30:25.000 No.

00:30:26.000 Oh, I hope not.

00:30:26.000 Oh, let's talk.

00:30:27.000 You want to talk about this?

00:30:28.000 Because this is a rabbit hole that I've been on recently.

00:30:31.000 Oh, boy. 0.99

00:30:31.000 You've been on the kids getting fucked rabbit hole? 0.99

00:30:33.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:30:34.000 Because I had a friend in October who sat me down and he's like, look...

00:30:42.000 Oh, my God. 0.81

00:31:04.000 And the thing that's really fucked up is he didn't know how I was going to react, right? 0.97

00:31:10.000 So it used to be mommy's sleepy. 0.97

00:31:13.000 No, mommy was a drunk, right? 1.00

00:31:15.000 And until Betty Ford, the first lady, came out as an alcoholic, now people, like if someone says, oh, my mom's an alcoholic, you're like, oh, that sucks, but you don't think anything of them, right?

00:31:23.000 If daddy had a temper, no, daddy was abusive, right?

00:31:27.000 But we know what to do with that information.

00:31:29.000 And when I started talking about this on Twitter and elsewhere, that this is really common.

00:31:34.000 And because all of us do not think of kids in this way, we don't want to think about it.

00:31:38.000 It's so sick.

00:31:39.000 They're the ones who have to deal with this nightmare.

00:31:43.000 And it's really, really, everyone I've talked to knows someone.

00:31:47.000 And I just told another friend, he's like, oh yeah, my sister I just found out was being molested by our grandfather their whole life.

00:31:53.000 And then it's like, she's the one who's acting out.

00:31:57.000 And we're yelling at her for acting out.

00:31:59.000 So Joe, I mean, one of the things I wanted to talk about is, this is something that has to change.

00:32:04.000 These people can't be the ones who have to worry. 0.69

00:32:08.000 That if they tell me or your friend that we're going to look at them like, oh, you're a freak.

00:32:12.000 I don't know what to do with this.

00:32:13.000 Because they're the ones who are suffering for a very long time.

00:32:18.000 And I think that keeps people from speaking out because of that fear of being labeled.

00:32:22.000 They'd almost rather keep it to themselves and not have other people know that they've been molested.

00:32:26.000 They don't want for you to be uncomfortable around them.

00:32:30.000 Right.

00:32:30.000 And there was a girl in my high school.

00:32:32.000 She told another girl that her brother had been raping her for years. 0.81

00:32:35.000 And she went to mom. 0.94

00:32:37.000 And mom says, you know what you're talking about.

00:32:39.000 That can't happen.

00:32:40.000 But this happens all the time.

00:32:41.000 And we don't have the space to discuss it.

00:32:45.000 So I've just been kind of talking about this a lot more and encouraging people to talk about this a lot more because there are really, really a lot of people who are suffering because of this.

00:32:55.000 And what do you do?

00:32:57.000 Here's the big question, something like that.

00:32:59.000 What do you do to help the person who's been molested and what do you do to the person who molests someone?

00:33:04.000 Well, the person who did it, I can't even begin, I don't know.

00:33:08.000 But I think what happens is just like with gay rights, right? 1.00

00:33:11.000 The more people who come out and talk about it, the more easy it is for someone to call someone else and be like, this happened to me, you know what I'm going through, let's have this conversation.

00:33:20.000 Have you seen this very strange trend that's rare, but common enough and actually predicted, where people are talking about people that are pedophiles, that it's some sort of a sexual inclination that we should have Yeah.

00:33:53.000 Well, I better figure out how to deal with this.

00:33:55.000 You know what I mean?

00:33:56.000 Right.

00:33:56.000 And I think that's a complete, in many ways, red herring.

00:34:00.000 If it's something that they can't change, that makes it worse.

00:34:03.000 That means you have no reason to even… Exist.

00:34:07.000 You're too dangerous.

00:34:08.000 Yeah.

00:34:08.000 Right.

00:34:09.000 You're like a cannibal that can only eat meat. 1.00

00:34:10.000 Right. 1.00

00:34:11.000 You're a vampire living amongst us. 0.98

00:34:12.000 Right. 0.95

00:34:13.000 Because instead of stealing souls, you're stealing someone's future.

00:34:15.000 And the thing about these types is they're very common.

00:34:19.000 Like any predator, you're going to be drawn to where the resources are.

00:34:23.000 So they're going to be disproportionate in those fields where you are interacting with your targets.

00:34:29.000 Right.

00:34:30.000 So that's what makes it so sick.

00:34:31.000 It's not like you have these ideas.

00:34:32.000 Okay, fine.

00:34:33.000 You can have whatever ideas you want.

00:34:34.000 You are laying that groundwork to prey on these kids and you know what you're doing.

00:34:41.000 And again, I don't know what to do with this information, but I do know that this is really, really bad.

00:34:48.000 And people talk about this is the truest form of being a victim there is.

00:34:52.000 And the sickest part about it to me is how many of these kids go on to molest other kids.

00:34:57.000 Yeah.

00:35:00.000 It's like a disease.

00:35:02.000 Like they've caught a disease.

00:35:05.000 I told Matt that he should...

00:35:07.000 There's two ways, right?

00:35:08.000 They go on.

00:35:09.000 I told Matt, you should consider reaching out to this guy and telling him you forgive him.

00:35:14.000 Because it's possible that you're like 10 or 11, you're doing this.

00:35:19.000 You grow up and you realize what you've done and what this means.

00:35:23.000 And I don't know how you could live with yourself.

00:35:26.000 Right.

00:35:26.000 Well, we have to hope and assume that it ended with that, that he didn't continue doing it as he got older and older with the same age child.

00:35:34.000 Yeah, and what's even worse, what happens when it's within the family?

00:35:38.000 Right, and it happens all the time.

00:35:39.000 I talked to someone who's a former sheriff when I was in the Midwest.

00:35:42.000 And, you know, this was his job helping these kids.

00:35:45.000 He goes, it is so much more prevalent than you think.

00:35:49.000 And what happens is families, you know how back in the day you don't want to talk about divorce?

00:35:53.000 Because it's shameful.

00:35:53.000 I didn't even understand what they were ashamed of, whatever.

00:35:55.000 And now it's like, oh, that's just crazy Uncle Nick keeping away from the kids.

00:35:59.000 It's like, that's not a thing. 0.80

00:36:02.000 Crazy Uncle Nick...

00:36:05.000 Yeah, there's too many of us already.

00:36:07.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:36:08.000 The thing is, like, even saying that, there's too many of us, we should kill pedophiles. 1.00

00:36:13.000 Like, that's, if you put that up, like, in a real intimate situation, you're talking just a bunch of people that really cared about each other and were good friends, like, I think we should kill pedophiles. 1.00

00:36:23.000 They'd be like, fuck yeah. 1.00

00:36:24.000 But most people would say yes. 1.00

00:36:25.000 But in public, in public discourse, like, saying we should kill pedophiles, like, okay, but here's a problem. 0.97

00:36:31.000 Sometimes people get accused of being pedophiles and they're not. 0.74

00:36:33.000 Remember that school, there was a daycare school, and these kids were actually being coached into saying, they were little kids.

00:36:41.000 It was a famous case.

00:36:43.000 Eventually, the case all fell apart, but not before these people's reputations were ruined, everything was ruined, their business was shattered, all because these kids had made stuff up.

00:36:52.000 And then other people had coached them into making more stuff up, and then everything got crazier and crazier.

00:36:56.000 What was the name of that?

00:36:57.000 It was a very famous case.

00:37:00.000 I mean, they made a documentary about it because it shows almost like there's a mass hysteria that can go on, especially when you're talking about something that's particularly heinous, right?

00:37:08.000 Like the abduction or the rape of children, rather, because we're all so scared of that being real that we'll pay attention as much as possible.

00:37:18.000 So they have these news stories.

00:37:19.000 They have all these different things that are attached to this.

00:37:21.000 And then people keep probing.

00:37:23.000 They keep asking questions.

00:37:24.000 And then it accelerates and grows because it's a focal point of attention.

00:37:27.000 People start lying.

00:37:28.000 But we're also so scared that we don't want to think it could be true.

00:37:31.000 Well, we don't want to think either one could be true.

00:37:34.000 That someone would molest kids or that kids would be coached into lying.

00:37:38.000 Both of them are horrible.

00:37:39.000 I'm much more concerned with people who are dealing with this and how they can get hurt.

00:37:43.000 Yes, of course.

00:37:44.000 No, of course.

00:37:44.000 And I think that...

00:37:45.000 But I'm saying that's why you can't kill them.

00:37:47.000 Oh yeah, I'm not advocating killing anybody.

00:37:48.000 I'm just advocating for people.

00:37:50.000 And I'm not a victim of this.

00:37:52.000 I just have a friend.

00:37:53.000 And again, everyone I've talked to knows someone.

00:37:55.000 One degree of separation.

00:37:56.000 And I'm just saying, for the people who had gone through this, just like Matt listening to this show...

00:38:02.000 This is what I told him.

00:38:04.000 My experience, when people come to you in a vulnerable way, don't tell them what you think they want to hear.

00:38:10.000 Be as vulnerable in return.

00:38:11.000 So I said to him, Matt, I don't care.

00:38:14.000 I don't think of you any differently.

00:38:15.000 I don't think you're damaged.

00:38:17.000 I don't think you're a freak.

00:38:18.000 I think it's awful.

00:38:19.000 I can't relate to this at all.

00:38:20.000 I know you're glad I can't relate to this at all.

00:38:23.000 And I think it's great that you want me to kind of talk about this to stop someone from blowing their brains out.

00:38:28.000 This is, again... 0.89

00:38:31.000 Do you, are you like, it's hard for me and I have a much smaller audience than you to be aware of the reach of the show because I'll get letters from people being like, oh, I'm going through chemo and I read your Twitter to make my day and I'm like, I can't take pride in that because I'm in my underwear being an asshole on Twitter and that's independent of you kind of,

00:38:50.000 you know, getting your laugh.

00:38:51.000 So thank you, but it doesn't resonate.

00:38:53.000 So for your level, I mean, this kind of saved my buddy's life because of Jake the Snake on this show.

00:38:59.000 That's beautiful, and I'm very happy that that happened.

00:39:01.000 And that's a wonderful side effect.

00:39:03.000 But if I thought about that only, it would never be the same thing.

00:39:07.000 And the reason why I think the show works is comfort.

00:39:12.000 Like a comfort level in talking to people and having fun and enjoying it.

00:39:17.000 And I think the moment you start thinking about your reach and the amount of impact that it has and how many people are actually listening at the same time, you'll start freaking out and you'll never be as comfortable.

00:39:27.000 You won't be comfortable.

00:39:28.000 Like, what people like listening to is people that, like, you and I are friends.

00:39:32.000 We've done this a few times.

00:39:33.000 I enjoy your company.

00:39:33.000 Thank you, sir.

00:39:34.000 You know I do. 1.00

00:39:34.000 I'm a piece of shit. 1.00

00:39:36.000 Come on. 1.00

00:39:36.000 We're just jokes, pal. 1.00

00:39:37.000 They're jokes.

00:39:38.000 But you know that I think you're a very funny and very smart guy.

00:39:41.000 Thank you.

00:39:41.000 And I enjoy your company.

00:39:43.000 So when we're together, I'm like, this is great.

00:39:45.000 I'm going to sit down with Michael.

00:39:47.000 We're going to talk.

00:39:47.000 We're going to have a good time.

00:39:49.000 It's going to be fun.

00:39:50.000 I'm enjoying this.

00:39:51.000 That is one of the things that people like.

00:39:53.000 They like the fact that friends joke around and they're comfortable with each other and we can just change subjects and talk about anything.

00:40:00.000 Yeah.

00:40:01.000 And I think the moment, you almost like have to hypnotize yourself to not look at the big picture.

00:40:06.000 You have to sort of like, just stay in the pocket.

00:40:09.000 Stay in the pocket.

00:40:10.000 Just be yourself.

00:40:10.000 Just all this craziness around you, like, uh-oh, gotta get away from that.

00:40:14.000 Go over this way.

00:40:14.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:40:15.000 But don't, don't live in it. 1.00

00:40:16.000 Yeah, every single time I leave this room, I'm like, oh shit, what did I say? 1.00

00:40:20.000 Because you can't be on for this long. 0.99

00:40:22.000 I know, but me too, dude.

00:40:23.000 I've done thousands of them.

00:40:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:40:24.000 I mean, think about all the stupid shit I've said. 1.00

00:40:26.000 There's no way around it. 1.00

00:40:27.000 There's no, it's plus, plus, 70% of the time I'm high.

00:40:31.000 You know? 0.94

00:40:31.000 I mean, we got high as fuck the podcast right before this one. 0.94

00:40:35.000 So, you know, that doesn't... 0.99

00:40:36.000 I've said some terrible, stupid things high and not even exactly sure what I'm saying while I'm saying it. 0.97

00:40:42.000 I'm like, no, no, that's not what I meant. 1.00

00:40:43.000 Fuck. 0.99

00:40:46.000 It's a fun way to do it though. 1.00

00:40:48.000 It's like skiing downhill and you're not sure if you could stop.

00:40:51.000 Have you tried the new ones like Moxie and TX6 or something?

00:40:55.000 What, new weed?

00:40:56.000 No, there's new types of psychedelics. 1.00

00:40:59.000 You're over that shit? 1.00

00:40:59.000 I don't need that. 1.00

00:41:00.000 The stuff that's real is good enough.

00:41:02.000 These people want to try something other than mushrooms?

00:41:05.000 What are you looking for?

00:41:07.000 Acid's not strong enough for you?

00:41:08.000 There's one that you could turn off.

00:41:10.000 Oh, you turn it off?

00:41:11.000 Yeah.

00:41:12.000 Like with a switch?

00:41:12.000 Like a nap?

00:41:13.000 No, like you know if you're drunk, you can kind of make yourself sober if you need to?

00:41:17.000 So this is a psychedelic that you can switch off.

00:41:20.000 Oh, really?

00:41:20.000 What's it called?

00:41:21.000 Moxie? 0.99

00:41:22.000 Hold on.

00:41:22.000 It's 5-M-E-O-M-I-P-T. What is it called?

00:41:26.000 There's Moxie and then 2-C-B is the other one. 0.97

00:41:29.000 I've heard a 2CB from the Kanye song.

00:41:31.000 Oh, is that from the Kanye song?

00:41:33.000 Analog of the more popular drug 5-MeO-D-I-P-T. Foxy Mox.

00:41:38.000 Foxy Methoxy.

00:41:39.000 Isn't that great?

00:41:39.000 It's got an old-timey name.

00:41:41.000 I've never heard of it.

00:41:42.000 Interesting.

00:41:42.000 Foxy Methoxy is a great name.

00:41:44.000 Hmm.

00:41:46.000 So it's like, I guess, hipster mushrooms.

00:41:47.000 You probably haven't heard of it.

00:41:49.000 Well, they're always coming up with new things to avoid certain drug tests where they just alter a chemical just slightly.

00:41:55.000 That's where 5-MeO DMT was not classified as one of the banned psychedelics in the 1970 Sweeping Psychedelic Act.

00:42:06.000 NN-dimethyltryptamine was labeled.

00:42:08.000 5-MeO is DMT with an oxygen molecule attached to it, which eliminates some...

00:42:12.000 I don't know exactly how it works, but the visuals are very different.

00:42:15.000 It looks very different.

00:42:16.000 It feels very different.

00:42:17.000 It's way more potent, and it was legal forever.

00:42:19.000 Like, you could order it in the year 2000s. 0.97

00:42:22.000 We would get it from a fucking chemical company where you order it over the internet, and they would send you, like, an We're good to go. 0.99

00:42:50.000 And we took it and it just puts you in the center of the fucking universe. 0.99

00:42:54.000 You feel like you're a part of every cell and every atom and every neutron. 0.99

00:42:59.000 Everything.

00:43:00.000 You're part of everything.

00:43:01.000 You're in the soup of it all.

00:43:02.000 There's no detachment between you and things.

00:43:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:43:04.000 Everything just...

00:43:05.000 You disappear for like 15 minutes.

00:43:07.000 You're sure you're dead.

00:43:08.000 You're absolutely 100% sure you're dead.

00:43:10.000 And it probably is what happens when you die.

00:43:12.000 And then you come out of it. 1.00

00:43:13.000 You're like, what in the fuck? 0.99

00:43:15.000 Like, I just got that from a company? 1.00

00:43:17.000 I just ordered that with a Visa card?

00:43:19.000 Like, it's crazy.

00:43:21.000 This is pre-PayPal.

00:43:23.000 You'd be able to just buy this stuff.

00:43:25.000 There was a host of these different things.

00:43:29.000 Do you remember Salvia?

00:43:31.000 I was just talking about today.

00:43:32.000 Is that still legal or not?

00:43:33.000 I don't know.

00:43:34.000 It's a good question because it's kind of fallen out of favor.

00:43:36.000 It's not something that people talk about a lot.

00:43:38.000 But when people found out that you could just get Salvia from a head shop. 0.95

00:43:42.000 Head shops are supposed to be you can buy bongs, you can buy velvet posters, but there's nothing there that can get you fucked up. 0.90

00:43:48.000 But then they started selling salvia, because it was somehow or another legal. 0.82

00:43:51.000 And it was one of the most mind-blowing psychedelics known to man.

00:43:55.000 For ten minutes, yeah. 0.99

00:43:56.000 It's fucking unbelievably powerful. 0.98

00:43:58.000 Ari Shafir did some on a podcast, and he lived an alternative life for three months. 0.99

00:44:04.000 He had a family, he had jobs, he had friends, and then all of a sudden, he came back to reality. 0.99

00:44:09.000 And he was like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:44:10.000 I love this. 0.99

00:44:11.000 In an alternate reality, Ari Shafir has friends.

00:44:14.000 He has friends in real life.

00:44:15.000 I'm one of his friends.

00:44:16.000 But he had different friends that I didn't even know.

00:44:18.000 He just went into this place and lived another life.

00:44:21.000 I think he was under the ocean, too.

00:44:23.000 Yeah, there he is right there.

00:44:24.000 Oh, wow.

00:44:24.000 So he's gone.

00:44:25.000 And Red Band, of course, filmed it.

00:44:27.000 And he got very violent when he woke up, too.

00:44:29.000 Oh, like violent, violent? 0.99

00:44:30.000 Yeah, like, get the fuck away from me! 1.00

00:44:32.000 Everybody was fucking with him. 1.00

00:44:33.000 Because it's disorienting. 0.99

00:44:34.000 Yeah, he's confused.

00:44:35.000 Because you're physically paralyzed.

00:44:36.000 Yeah.

00:44:36.000 So he was like, get off me, get off me, Sam Tripoli's got his sunglasses on.

00:44:40.000 It was chaos.

00:44:42.000 Anyway, he came out of it, and he said that while he was out for ten minutes, he lived like three months in a different world.

00:44:49.000 Jesus Christ.

00:44:50.000 And then you have to wonder if that's the real one and this is the fake one.

00:44:54.000 Am I wrong?

00:44:55.000 No, you're not wrong.

00:44:56.000 That's what apparently when you would have the Catholic priest going down the aisle, waving, that would either be sage, which is, I think, a derivative of salvia divinorum.

00:45:08.000 I think, not a derivative, a cousin, maybe a close relative.

00:45:11.000 I think sage and salvia divinorum are extremely close.

00:45:15.000 Okay.

00:45:16.000 In terms of, like, the genus.

00:45:19.000 Genus?

00:45:19.000 Genus, yeah.

00:45:20.000 What's the genus for sage?

00:45:22.000 I think it's real close.

00:45:23.000 I think it's one of those things where they think that maybe people were burning that, but they were probably also most definitely burning cannabis.

00:45:34.000 And so they were wafting through the aisles with cannabis smoke, getting everybody secondhand high.

00:45:39.000 Huh.

00:45:39.000 Yeah, and that's one of the- He's going to have that experience, yeah.

00:45:42.000 Yeah, to take them into this fucking Catholic journey. 0.99

00:45:46.000 You know, the guy's wearing a robe, just fucking, these stained glass windows everywhere, like, holy shit, and look at the epic structure. 1.00

00:45:54.000 You're looking at these gigantic, beautiful artworks that they're calling buildings. 0.99

00:45:58.000 Sage or salvia?

00:45:59.000 Okay.

00:46:00.000 All sages are salvia.

00:46:02.000 Wow.

00:46:02.000 Over time, though, the term sage has been closely aligned with cooking or medicinal use, and the term salvia has been given to more ornamental members of the genus.

00:46:11.000 Nevertheless, salvia is the Latin name or genus given to all these plants.

00:46:15.000 Yeah, so sage is salvia.

00:46:17.000 So salvia divinorum, this incredibly potent psychedelic, is common sage.

00:46:23.000 Wow.

00:46:23.000 Or basic for all kinds of purposes.

00:46:26.000 Somewhere, yeah.

00:46:26.000 In the neighborhood of it.

00:46:27.000 And it's like a mix of acid and weed for 10 minutes.

00:46:30.000 Yeah, look at those guys. 0.99

00:46:30.000 Tripping balls, son! 0.99

00:46:32.000 Those guys are walking around with salvia, blowing salvia smoke. 0.99

00:46:36.000 That's not a coincidence, man. 0.99

00:46:38.000 They could have picked fucking cedar bark. 0.99

00:46:41.000 Right. 0.99

00:46:41.000 They chose to take some super potent psychedelic and waft it through the air as they're walking back and forth. 0.99

00:46:48.000 There's also that theory that the Salem witch trials are because they're all eating ergot.

00:46:51.000 Yes, from the bread.

00:46:53.000 And they're all tripping.

00:46:53.000 Early frost.

00:46:54.000 Yeah, early frost.

00:46:56.000 Yeah, that apparently is a really good one.

00:46:59.000 They really think that that really could have been it.

00:47:01.000 Well, they also – there's a book called The Oracle about the Oracle of Delphi, right?

00:47:05.000 And she had these visions and she would prophesy the future.

00:47:07.000 And they went there and they found her stool.

00:47:10.000 She was sitting over – Her poo or her stool that she sat on? 0.96

00:47:13.000 It's got three legs to it.

00:47:14.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:47:14.000 I thought it was like an animal.

00:47:16.000 What's it called?

00:47:17.000 A stool sample?

00:47:18.000 What's the thing for dinosaur poo?

00:47:20.000 Fossilized copper or something?

00:47:21.000 Oh.

00:47:22.000 You can get those.

00:47:24.000 Dinosaur poo?

00:47:25.000 Yeah.

00:47:25.000 Fossilized.

00:47:26.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:47:28.000 So they found she was sitting over a crack with natural gas coming out.

00:47:32.000 So she's getting high off of whatever that is. 1.00

00:47:34.000 Oh, no shit. 0.99

00:47:35.000 So there was natural gas leaking out through the ground where she was partying. 1.00

00:47:38.000 Yeah.

00:47:39.000 So of course she's going to be speaking gibberish and having all these visions because she's getting...

00:47:43.000 It's not like when you inhale the...

00:47:48.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:47:48.000 Laughing gas.

00:47:49.000 When you go to the...

00:47:50.000 The huffing, yeah.

00:47:50.000 Oh.

00:47:51.000 Nitrous.

00:47:53.000 It totally makes sense.

00:47:54.000 Yeah.

00:47:54.000 I think that's probably a lot of these cases.

00:47:56.000 Of course.

00:47:57.000 Wacky things that people did.

00:48:00.000 I mean, it only makes sense.

00:48:02.000 I mean, they never did figure out what Soma is in the ancient Hindu...

00:48:07.000 Is that right?

00:48:08.000 Yeah.

00:48:08.000 Yeah, they think it might have been some kind of psychedelic, but they don't know what.

00:48:12.000 Like, there's all this different speculation.

00:48:14.000 Like, some people think it was accommodatory, that it was like psilocybin mixed with something else, and lotus flower.

00:48:21.000 There's all these, like, different theories, but nobody really knows.

00:48:25.000 But Soma was obviously something that they were taking as a sacrament that would have these profound effects.

00:48:30.000 That's most likely the root of all of these crazy religious experiences. 0.99

00:48:34.000 These people were tripping their fucking balls off, and they weren't lying. 1.00

00:48:38.000 Like, God did come to them. 1.00

00:48:40.000 Oh, yeah.

00:48:41.000 Yeah, God did come to them out of the burning bush and spoke to them.

00:48:44.000 That's the other thing, the burning bush.

00:48:46.000 They think that, these scholars in Jerusalem think that the burning bush is probably the acacia bush, which is rich in DMT. Oh!

00:48:55.000 So that's probably why this is the metaphor, right?

00:48:58.000 The burning bush, and God spoke to them in the burning bush.

00:49:01.000 That's probably what it really means. 0.99

00:49:03.000 They were smoking it, tripping balls, and they met God, and he came back with, this is the only way we're going to get along, we've got to stop raping each other. 0.97

00:49:10.000 And the other thing is a lot of these old mystery religions, right? 0.98

00:49:13.000 You have to be initiated into them.

00:49:14.000 And if you're going to join this cult or whatever, for lack of a better term, and they give you, here, take this, you are going to experience something, not only that no one ever, that you've ever heard of, but like, you don't even know how to handle it.

00:49:26.000 And it will change your life permanently, but there's no vocabulary for it there.

00:49:29.000 It's not like now where you know what acid is. 0.99

00:49:31.000 You're like, holy shit, this is religious. 0.99

00:49:33.000 Right. 1.00

00:49:33.000 You would think it's God. 1.00

00:49:34.000 You met God.

00:49:35.000 Yeah.

00:49:36.000 Unless it's bad and then you meet the devil.

00:49:37.000 You know about that guy, John Marco Allegro?

00:49:40.000 Do you know who he is?

00:49:40.000 No.

00:49:41.000 He's the guy who deciphered the Dead Sea Scrolls.

00:49:42.000 Oh, okay.

00:49:43.000 He worked on the panel for 14 years and he wrote a seriously controversial book.

00:49:48.000 He was an ordained minister, but he was the only one on the Dead Sea Scroll translation group that they put together that was agnostic. 0.98

00:49:56.000 Because he started studying – he was an ordained minister, but then he started studying theology, and he was like, this is all fucking crazy. 0.87

00:50:03.000 Like, what is this?

00:50:03.000 So he became agnostic, and he wanted to look at the etymology of the words.

00:50:08.000 And so it was his conclusion, after 14 years, that the entire Christian religion was a gigantic misunderstanding, and what it really was about was Psychedelic mushroom experiences and fertility rituals.

00:50:21.000 Okay.

00:50:22.000 And he broke down the word Jesus to an ancient word, an ancient Sumerian word that means a mushroom covered in God's semen.

00:50:32.000 And the idea was that...

00:50:35.000 The rain, which would make everything grow, was God's come.

00:50:39.000 And that it wasn't a bad thing.

00:50:41.000 They didn't think of come as bad.

00:50:42.000 They wanted to live.

00:50:43.000 Everybody wanted to have children.

00:50:44.000 They wanted to prosper.

00:50:45.000 And that when the rain would come, mushrooms would appear almost instantaneously.

00:50:50.000 Have you ever seen how mushrooms appear?

00:50:52.000 It's overnight.

00:50:53.000 Overnight. 1.00

00:50:53.000 And when they would eat those, they would trip their fucking balls off. 1.00

00:50:57.000 So they had decided that this was Jesus. 1.00

00:51:01.000 It was God's son.

00:51:03.000 God created this from his own seed.

00:51:05.000 This is what Marco Allegro's, his research was pointing to.

00:51:09.000 He was trying to say that what was really going on was these people were trying to hide a lot of what the psychedelic rituals are from the Romans and from the people that captured them.

00:51:19.000 So they hid them in stories and parables and then there was all sorts of problems in the translations.

00:51:23.000 It's just like, you know, you're taking things from ancient Hebrew and you're breaking it down to Latin and you're breaking it down to German and English.

00:51:30.000 I can't believe he got a positive reception for this.

00:51:33.000 Well, he didn't necessarily.

00:51:36.000 The book got bought out by the Catholic Church and then recently reinstated.

00:51:43.000 What do you mean bought out?

00:51:44.000 They bought it.

00:51:45.000 I think they took it off the market.

00:51:48.000 You used to be able to only get a copy of it.

00:51:52.000 You used to only be able to get a used copy.

00:51:56.000 Okay.

00:51:57.000 And then Jan Ervin put it out.

00:51:59.000 He republished it like a few, I don't know, I want to say maybe eight, ten years ago.

00:52:04.000 So now you can get a whole, but he also published another book after they took that one back.

00:52:08.000 I think, I don't know the total history of it, but he published a second book.

00:52:12.000 And the second book was The Dead Sea Scrolls and The Christian Myth.

00:52:16.000 And the first one was The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross.

00:52:18.000 But it only makes sense.

00:52:20.000 If you think about people who lived back then, we know that psychedelic mushrooms aren't recent.

00:52:25.000 They existed forever.

00:52:26.000 So these people found them, and they most certainly did.

00:52:28.000 There's a lot of depictions of them.

00:52:30.000 And there's also a lot of iconography, a lot of...

00:52:34.000 You see shapes that resemble mushrooms all over the place and some of the ancient artwork and even people that are dancing naked under the influence of a mushroom.

00:52:45.000 So there's a translucent mushroom shape that surrounds them and these ancient paintings and these religious paintings, these people are dancing. 0.76

00:52:52.000 So most likely they were tripping balls.

00:52:54.000 Well, if you didn't know any better, of course you would think that's God talking to you. 0.86

00:52:58.000 If you didn't know what psilocybin is, you didn't know what dimethyltryptamine is, you didn't know what any of these things are.

00:53:02.000 Well, you're also going to hear literal voices.

00:53:03.000 Yes, literal voices.

00:53:04.000 So it's not even that you're like, it's not a metaphor.

00:53:06.000 You're going to hear a voice talking to you. 0.85

00:53:08.000 Right, so people that think that these people who created religion were all liars, they're probably more likely trippers.

00:53:15.000 Because if you look at all these religious stories, they're all crazy and weird and fantastical and wonderful, but most of them are like guides to live life in a more virtuous or pious or moral way,

00:53:31.000 right?

00:53:32.000 That's the tenets of a lot of these religions.

00:53:34.000 That's what you get when you trip.

00:53:36.000 When you trip, you get, you got to be a better person.

00:53:40.000 Yeah.

00:53:40.000 That's what you get.

00:53:41.000 You get this profound humbling.

00:53:45.000 I shouldn't say humiliation, but humbling in the face of this titanic expression and experience that you can't even describe with words.

00:53:52.000 And then after it's over, you want to be a better person.

00:53:55.000 And there's also a sense of comfort.

00:53:56.000 Yes.

00:53:57.000 That it's going to be okay.

00:53:57.000 Yes, it's going to be okay.

00:53:58.000 Which is what religion traditionally gives a lot of people.

00:54:01.000 Like a sense of reassurance that someone's looking out, you're not going to accidentally, you know, It's not even that.

00:54:06.000 You get a feeling that even if it's not okay, it's okay.

00:54:09.000 Right, yes.

00:54:09.000 Like when you die, it's okay.

00:54:11.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:54:11.000 When you trip balls, like one of the things that Larry Hagman say, remember Larry Hagman from Dallas? 0.99

00:54:15.000 That is, I will say Dallas is probably the greatest show of all time. 1.00

00:54:19.000 Great fucking show. 0.99

00:54:20.000 That is, and people confused with Dynasty, which was trashy. 1.00

00:54:23.000 Garbage. 0.99

00:54:23.000 Dallas was one of the... 0.99

00:54:25.000 It's a great show.

00:54:25.000 I think it's literally the best show of all time, in my opinion.

00:54:27.000 Was his name J.R. Ewing?

00:54:29.000 That's right. 0.99

00:54:30.000 Well, he tripped balls... 0.97

00:54:33.000 And talked about it on CNN and said that it was one of the best experiences of his life because he no longer was afraid of death. 0.97

00:54:39.000 Before that, he was afraid of death.

00:54:40.000 And the one thing that tripping, and tripping hard apparently, really did for him is that he no longer held that fear.

00:54:46.000 And he had stared death in the face because of his alcoholism.

00:54:48.000 You know, he had to have a liver transplant or whatever it was, so it was no joke.

00:54:51.000 He was a huge alcoholic.

00:54:53.000 He had a dope house that was for sale in Topanga.

00:54:56.000 And unfortunately, I wasn't on the market for a house, but I would love to buy that guy's house.

00:55:00.000 That show had, I think, the funniest line of all time, which is, Victoria Principal, who's like the good guy, Pam, come into his office, she's the good guy, right?

00:55:08.000 And she's yelling at JR, and he would look at her with a straight face, like he would never wink.

00:55:13.000 And I'm going to get it backwards. 1.00

00:55:15.000 He goes, Pam, I've always thought you were stupid. 1.00

00:55:18.000 I never made any mistake about that, but I never thought you were crazy too. 1.00

00:55:21.000 It was just like, holy shit, total beast. 1.00

00:55:24.000 He was a good bad guy. 0.99

00:55:25.000 He was one of the first bad guys on TV, like Tony Soprano type dudes that he rooted for.

00:55:31.000 Right.

00:55:31.000 Because the show, the villain was Cliff Barnes.

00:55:34.000 So it was about an evil person versus a bad in the sense of low quality person.

00:55:39.000 His enemy wasn't a good person. 0.89

00:55:40.000 He was just this loser who was jealous of JR. So it was very smart to have bad versus evil as opposed to good versus bad.

00:55:46.000 Yes.

00:55:47.000 It was so good. 1.00

00:55:48.000 Good fucking show. 1.00

00:55:49.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:55:49.000 Back in the day when there was only like five shows on TV. Yeah, four channels. 0.99

00:55:54.000 If that, during JR? Wasn't that three?

00:55:57.000 Three.

00:55:57.000 It was three.

00:55:57.000 Fox came later.

00:55:58.000 Yes.

00:55:59.000 No, no.

00:55:59.000 I mean, it lasted from, what, 78 to 1990, I think.

00:56:03.000 So Fox was around by then, but yeah.

00:56:05.000 Yeah, Fox was around when I was in high school.

00:56:08.000 That's what's crazy about The Simpsons.

00:56:10.000 Simpsons was on from day one.

00:56:12.000 It was so good.

00:56:13.000 They're so great.

00:56:14.000 You think it's watchable?

00:56:15.000 Yes!

00:56:15.000 It's like fan fiction at this point.

00:56:17.000 I love it.

00:56:17.000 You still watch it?

00:56:18.000 Love it.

00:56:19.000 Do you still watch it?

00:56:19.000 If it comes on, I see it, I watch it.

00:56:21.000 The rerun or the new one?

00:56:22.000 Whenever it's on.

00:56:23.000 I'm not picky.

00:56:24.000 Okay, I'm very picky.

00:56:25.000 The old ones were amazing.

00:56:27.000 The old ones were amazing. 0.99

00:56:27.000 My favorite one ever was when Homer ate the hot peppers and went into that fucking dream. 0.99

00:56:34.000 Boy, there's a shock twist. 0.99

00:56:35.000 That's your favorite episode.

00:56:36.000 I never saw that.

00:56:37.000 Loved it!

00:56:38.000 The chili pepper.

00:56:39.000 Yeah, it was so off the charts weird.

00:56:41.000 Have you ever done the ride at Universal?

00:56:43.000 No, what's that?

00:56:43.000 It's amazing.

00:56:44.000 Wait, they have the Homer Peppered Ride?

00:56:46.000 They have a full-on virtual reality ride at Universal Studios based on The Simpsons and is one of my favorite rides of all time.

00:56:55.000 Okay. 0.99

00:56:55.000 It's fucking amazing. 0.99

00:56:57.000 Yeah, I'll give you some spoiler alerts. 0.98

00:56:59.000 Okay. 0.94

00:56:59.000 The little kid becomes giant, a lot of crazy shit happens, explosions, you're on a roller coaster. 0.94

00:57:04.000 It's nuts. 0.99

00:57:05.000 It's so fun.

00:57:06.000 It's so good.

00:57:10.000 It's psychedelic.

00:57:11.000 It's chaos.

00:57:12.000 And it's The Simpsons.

00:57:14.000 You've never seen it?

00:57:15.000 No.

00:57:16.000 See if you can pull up a video of what it looks like to ride...

00:57:19.000 I think it used to be the Back to the Future ride, didn't it?

00:57:21.000 Oh, is that it?

00:57:22.000 I think so.

00:57:23.000 What?

00:57:24.000 They at least ran it the same way.

00:57:26.000 They just made Marty into Bart.

00:57:28.000 Maybe they have both there, and they go back.

00:57:31.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:57:32.000 I'm just talking ass right now. 0.98

00:57:33.000 I have no idea if that's true. 0.93

00:57:36.000 But I remember the Back to the Future ride, too, now that you're thinking about it.

00:57:39.000 Apparently they just redid the Jurassic Park ride, too.

00:57:42.000 That's supposed to be cool.

00:57:43.000 But the Simpsons ride is amazing.

00:57:45.000 It's so good.

00:57:46.000 It's so good because it's all virtual.

00:57:47.000 You're not going anywhere.

00:57:48.000 You're sitting still, but you swear to God you're on a roller coaster and you're flying.

00:57:52.000 Is it like one of those where the seat moves, too? 1.00

00:57:54.000 Oh, I love that shit. 0.99

00:57:55.000 And you're in front of this massive high-definition screen. 1.00

00:57:59.000 Incredible graphics.

00:58:00.000 Do you put the glasses on, too?

00:58:01.000 I don't think you do.

00:58:02.000 I don't remember, though.

00:58:04.000 I don't remember.

00:58:05.000 I did something like that in Orlando.

00:58:06.000 It was really cool.

00:58:08.000 The best one.

00:58:09.000 The best one is the Avatar one at Disney World.

00:58:14.000 Okay.

00:58:15.000 It's Flights of Passion. 0.99

00:58:16.000 That's fucking incredible. 0.99

00:58:18.000 That's so total next level. 0.99

00:58:20.000 I saw some Disney dorks on YouTube reviewing the new Star Wars ride that just opened up.

00:58:26.000 They said it's very close to, if not maybe better than that.

00:58:30.000 Wow.

00:58:31.000 Wow.

00:58:31.000 I don't know what the ride was or what they did.

00:58:34.000 Blasphemy!

00:58:35.000 I'm sure it's good.

00:58:36.000 It's supposed to be 20 minutes long, too.

00:58:38.000 This new Star Wars.

00:58:40.000 This is the Simpsons ride.

00:58:42.000 A bunch of stuff happens to you.

00:58:44.000 I'll try to skip it out of the air.

00:58:47.000 You get into a car.

00:58:48.000 I remember the car part was the thing.

00:58:49.000 Yeah, let this go.

00:58:51.000 Play it here. 1.00

00:58:52.000 All this crazy shit is happening right in front of you. 0.99

00:58:56.000 It's just fun. 1.00

00:58:57.000 It's a really good one.

00:58:58.000 Oh, dope! 0.99

00:59:01.000 It's really fun, dude.

00:59:03.000 Oh, and it's coming right at you.

00:59:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:59:05.000 I'm sure the chair's shaking.

00:59:06.000 Yeah.

00:59:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:59:07.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

00:59:08.000 Those are so much fun.

00:59:10.000 What was the other one we were just looking at?

00:59:11.000 Oh, the Disney World Avatar ride.

00:59:13.000 The Disney World Avatar ride, you climb onto this thing that looks like a motorcycle, and then they put goggles on you, put this helmet in, strap you in place, literally lock your legs in place, and all of a sudden you're on a dragon.

00:59:25.000 And you're on a dragon in Avatar.

00:59:26.000 Oh, there it is.

00:59:28.000 Full HD virtual reality.

00:59:31.000 You get smells and wind and everything.

00:59:34.000 Really?

00:59:35.000 Oh, it's so good, dude.

00:59:36.000 It's so good.

00:59:38.000 It's so good when it's over. 1.00

00:59:39.000 You're like, fuck. 1.00

00:59:39.000 I want to live there. 1.00

00:59:40.000 People just want to get right back in line.

00:59:43.000 Do it again.

00:59:43.000 Yeah.

00:59:44.000 Oh, I haven't gotten a good ride in a long time.

00:59:46.000 It made me really think, and the first time I did it was, I think, two years ago, but it made me really think, like, this is going to get real weird. 0.76

00:59:53.000 Because if they can do this now, 10 years from now, what the fuck is it going to be like?

00:59:58.000 I was at the Gas Digital Studios, and Ralph had these 3D glasses, and it's basically, you have to, like, take an elevator, and then you're walking in the street, and, like, there's a part where there's, like, a wooden plank, and they put a wooden plank in real life on the carpet, and I was scared.

01:00:11.000 We have that right here.

01:00:12.000 Yeah, it's terrifying.

01:00:13.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:00:14.000 I did it the other day.

01:00:15.000 And then the plank disappeared.

01:00:17.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:00:17.000 The plank takes off from under you.

01:00:18.000 And then you see the blood.

01:00:20.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:00:20.000 And you start falling to the ground.

01:00:22.000 It's fucked up. 0.99

01:00:23.000 You know how they tell you when you're a kid, if you die in your dreams, you die in real life, which doesn't make any sense. 0.99

01:00:27.000 How would you know?

01:00:27.000 But that's what this feels like.

01:00:28.000 It does feel like that.

01:00:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:00:30.000 Who the fuck knows that? 0.99

01:00:31.000 You're dying in your dreams. 1.00

01:00:32.000 Shut up. 1.00

01:00:34.000 I'll force myself to die in my dream, bitch. 1.00

01:00:36.000 I'll come back and haunt you. 1.00

01:00:39.000 I'll show you. 1.00

01:00:40.000 I'll die.

01:00:41.000 Imagine if they made an Alex Honnold one.

01:00:44.000 An Alex Honnold.

01:00:45.000 He's that climber from Free Solo.

01:00:48.000 The guy who Free Solo climbs.

01:00:50.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:00:51.000 El Capitan.

01:00:51.000 Oh, yeah.

01:00:52.000 That's no joke.

01:00:53.000 Straight faces.

01:00:53.000 Oh, my God.

01:00:54.000 We were just talking about him.

01:00:56.000 Even discussing him lightly makes my hands sweat.

01:00:59.000 How...

01:01:00.000 I don't know.

01:01:01.000 I don't understand how he conquers that.

01:01:04.000 Is he suicidal?

01:01:05.000 No, not at all.

01:01:06.000 No, he's not at all.

01:01:07.000 He's just really good.

01:01:08.000 He knows he can do it.

01:01:10.000 But yeah, there's chaos theory comes in at a certain point, right?

01:01:13.000 Like, if I'm fighting somebody a billion times, at one time, I'm going to land that punch to take him out.

01:01:20.000 Yes, but in his...

01:01:21.000 Look at that.

01:01:22.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:01:23.000 Yeah.

01:01:24.000 Different guy, but it's the same spot.

01:01:25.000 Okay.

01:01:25.000 That's the same spot?

01:01:26.000 He just did it?

01:01:27.000 That's just, it's...

01:01:29.000 Because they're going vertically upside...

01:01:30.000 They're going horizontally upside down, right?

01:01:32.000 Dude, that is so crazy. 0.96

01:01:33.000 The fact that someone even can do that blows my fucking mind, but the fact that someone can do that 2,000 feet above the ground is just insane. 0.99

01:01:42.000 That is insane. 0.99

01:01:43.000 That's Alex Simpson.

01:01:43.000 So this is a route that you have to go through.

01:01:46.000 And as you're going through that route, you've got to continually chalk your hands and shove them into this crack and slowly make your way up.

01:01:52.000 And he first ascended it.

01:01:53.000 I can't even look at that.

01:01:54.000 I know, I'm so sweaty.

01:01:56.000 He first ascended it with ropes and he marks his path and he makes his detailed analysis.

01:02:01.000 And then he ascends it, I'm sure he ascends it with ropes without actually using the ropes and knows that he can pull it off.

01:02:06.000 Okay, so there's a lot of work that goes into this. 0.97

01:02:09.000 Look, look, it doesn't fucking matter. 0.96

01:02:11.000 I don't know. 0.98

01:02:11.000 Look at that fall! 0.98

01:02:13.000 And he's got big-ass gorilla hands. 0.89

01:02:16.000 He's like a thin, wiry guy with these meaty sausage hands. 0.85

01:02:21.000 That's what tree frogs have, right?

01:02:22.000 They're small and the hands are gigantic.

01:02:23.000 Yeah.

01:02:24.000 Well, they're very muscular. 0.98

01:02:26.000 I mean, he's fucking just climbing and pulling himself. 0.98

01:02:28.000 And I'm sure he could do like fingertip push-ups. 0.98

01:02:30.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:02:31.000 Pull-ups, rather.

01:02:32.000 And his back must be insane.

01:02:33.000 Insane.

01:02:33.000 Yeah, and he's light.

01:02:35.000 You have to stay light.

01:02:36.000 Well, that's the thing with the proportion, right?

01:02:37.000 Because if you put on too much muscle mass, it's going to be...

01:02:39.000 It's like this weird, delicate dance that they've got to do.

01:02:42.000 Yeah, the best climbers...

01:02:43.000 Something I've been following recently because I got into these Alex Honnold videos.

01:02:48.000 And then I didn't know bouldering was what they call it.

01:02:52.000 They call it bouldering.

01:02:53.000 But the best guys that do this are these really almost anorexic-looking guys...

01:03:01.000 That are just super shredded.

01:03:03.000 Like there's no weight, like no extra weight anywhere.

01:03:06.000 And there's this gem...

01:03:09.000 I forget where the gym was.

01:03:10.000 Some climbing gym where they're doing all these different exercises and chin-ups and planks and stuff while hanging off of two fingers.

01:03:17.000 So they're doing two-finger chin-ups and they're doing two-finger chin-ups where they literally like hold and extend their legs in front of them and then pull themselves up and basically do like a muscle-up with two fingers like hanging on a rock face.

01:03:33.000 There's also some little Asian girl who does all this stuff. 0.98

01:03:35.000 She's like 12 and she's like a spider monkey. 0.98

01:03:37.000 No!

01:03:38.000 What, no?

01:03:39.000 She's too young.

01:03:40.000 Get her down. 1.00

01:03:41.000 Well, I don't know how old she is, 12, 14, but you see her climbing like this and it's just amazing.

01:03:47.000 I'm just glad I could do pull-ups now. 1.00

01:03:50.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:03:51.000 Those fucking people, that jolt of satisfaction when you get to the top of a mountain like that. 1.00

01:03:57.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:03:58.000 What are you doing, sir?

01:03:59.000 That's going to break off!

01:04:00.000 Oh my god.

01:04:01.000 That thing's barely hanging on.

01:04:03.000 And this guy's like, I'm just going to climb it, bro. 1.00

01:04:07.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:04:08.000 Fuck everything about that. 1.00

01:04:09.000 This is just for Instagram, too. 1.00

01:04:11.000 Jesus.

01:04:12.000 They just want to get that good profile pic.

01:04:14.000 People are falling, man.

01:04:15.000 A bunch of people fell in Yellowstone.

01:04:18.000 Did they?

01:04:19.000 No, Grand Canyon.

01:04:20.000 A bunch of people fell in the Grand Canyon.

01:04:22.000 An unusually high number lately.

01:04:24.000 That is preposterous.

01:04:26.000 The fact that this person can even do this.

01:04:28.000 Is that a woman? 0.99

01:04:29.000 What?

01:04:30.000 It must be easier when it's narrow.

01:04:30.000 She's more man than me!

01:04:32.000 When you can do it with your legs that way, right?

01:04:34.000 That one's not above the ground very high.

01:04:35.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

01:04:35.000 Look, I don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:04:37.000 Pretend it is. 0.99

01:04:39.000 Pretend it is.

01:04:40.000 I mean, if they can do that, I mean, how often do they fall? 1.00

01:04:43.000 Fuck that thing. 1.00

01:04:44.000 Fuck getting under that thing either, by the way. 1.00

01:04:47.000 I'm not even going to camp under that thing. 1.00

01:04:49.000 It's not long for this world.

01:04:50.000 Look how much it sticks out.

01:04:51.000 That's crazy.

01:04:52.000 Get out of there, man.

01:04:53.000 We've all seen enough Wile E. Coyote cartoons to know how this ends.

01:04:57.000 So he's going to saw it, he's going to look down, and it's going to be the end of it.

01:05:01.000 What does that call for people, Jamie?

01:05:02.000 It's called the rhino or something?

01:05:04.000 Rockland, South Africa, rock climbing, it says.

01:05:07.000 Yeah, the rhino rock climbing.

01:05:07.000 Yeah, I can see that.

01:05:09.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:05:10.000 Dude, I saw... 1.00

01:05:11.000 There's a Nature's Metal post that I saw where there was a hyena pack broke into a safari.

01:05:19.000 They're like a safari camp and killed a kudu in the middle of the lobby. 1.00

01:05:23.000 So, like, these people are, like, really getting the safari experience. 0.99

01:05:27.000 Like, in the lobby of the place where they're staying to go on safari, a pack of hyenas slaughters of fucking kudu. 1.00

01:05:34.000 Hyenas are the most fucked up. 1.00

01:05:36.000 Look at that. 1.00

01:05:37.000 Look at that.

01:05:37.000 Oh, my God.

01:05:38.000 Oh my god.

01:05:39.000 Imagine. 1.00

01:05:40.000 We're gonna go see some elephants and it'll be amazing and a pack of hyenas just turn that fucking place into a slaughterhouse. 1.00

01:05:50.000 What do you call a group of hyenas? 1.00

01:05:51.000 Do we know?

01:05:52.000 Is it a pack?

01:05:52.000 It's a term.

01:05:53.000 It's gotta be like a laughter of hyenas.

01:05:55.000 It's a weird term.

01:05:56.000 Yeah.

01:05:56.000 And the females are transgender.

01:05:58.000 Yes.

01:05:59.000 Well, they're not transgender. 0.88

01:06:00.000 They have a micropenis. 0.74

01:06:01.000 No. 0.98

01:06:01.000 Large clitoris. 0.98

01:06:03.000 Engorged. 0.99

01:06:04.000 Clitoris. 1.00

01:06:04.000 Large. 1.00

01:06:05.000 They're matriarchal, too, so they're bigger than the males. 1.00

01:06:07.000 I have a whole bit about them.

01:06:08.000 They're like female bodybuilders. 1.00

01:06:09.000 Did you know that 60% of all hyena babies suffocate to death?

01:06:12.000 No, how?

01:06:13.000 During childbirth?

01:06:14.000 Why?

01:06:14.000 60%.

01:06:15.000 Because they come out of the dick. 1.00

01:06:16.000 What? 1.00

01:06:17.000 The females have a dick. 1.00

01:06:18.000 Right. 1.00

01:06:18.000 The babies have to come out of the dick. 1.00

01:06:20.000 No, it splits open? 1.00

01:06:22.000 Yep.

01:06:22.000 Really?

01:06:23.000 60% suffocate to death.

01:06:25.000 It's called a cackle.

01:06:26.000 Cackle!

01:06:27.000 Okay.

01:06:28.000 Technical term is a cackle.

01:06:29.000 They're usually referred to as PACs.

01:06:32.000 Go back to that picture.

01:06:33.000 They also get tamed pretty easily.

01:06:34.000 I went to a zoo where they had a pair of them.

01:06:36.000 They were very sweet.

01:06:37.000 Because if you feed them.

01:06:38.000 Yeah.

01:06:39.000 But they're smart.

01:06:40.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:06:41.000 But they'll try to fuck up lions, man. 0.99

01:06:43.000 Oh, they steal from the lions. 0.99

01:06:44.000 They fuck the lions up, too. 1.00

01:06:45.000 They're like gangsters because there's a whole gang of them. 0.99

01:06:47.000 And the lion's like, all right.

01:06:48.000 And they're like, no, no, we're doing this.

01:06:49.000 I'm taking that kill.

01:06:50.000 And then they bite the lions, too.

01:06:51.000 They try to eat them.

01:06:52.000 They're gangster when they're all together.

01:06:54.000 But look at that picture, man. 0.97

01:06:55.000 That is so insane.

01:06:56.000 That's going to be one funny Yelp review.

01:06:58.000 Imagine coming downstairs for some coffee in a newspaper early.

01:07:01.000 Today we're going to go see some giraffes.

01:07:02.000 Oh, Jesus!

01:07:03.000 Oh, Jesus!

01:07:04.000 I'd want dibs on those horns. 1.00

01:07:06.000 They have plenty of those horns, man. 1.00

01:07:08.000 Really?

01:07:08.000 Yeah, they're shooting those things left and right.

01:07:09.000 Oh, wow.

01:07:10.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

01:07:10.000 What is that? 0.92

01:07:11.000 Back that up, Jamie.

01:07:12.000 It said there's more info on their story.

01:07:14.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:07:15.000 Look at that.

01:07:15.000 The unicorn.

01:07:17.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

01:07:18.000 It's got three horns.

01:07:19.000 What is that?

01:07:19.000 Is it three?

01:07:20.000 Dude, it's got three. 1.00

01:07:21.000 Oh my god, what the fuck? 1.00

01:07:22.000 What is that? 1.00

01:07:24.000 Okay.

01:07:24.000 The first one, middle horn, it's got a deformity.

01:07:26.000 If you told me that that was an animal, I'd be like, fuck off. 1.00

01:07:29.000 That's not a real animal. 1.00

01:07:30.000 Go back to that thing.

01:07:31.000 What is that thing, Jamie?

01:07:32.000 It's the...

01:07:33.000 What is it called?

01:07:36.000 It's a type of cow, isn't it? 0.98

01:07:38.000 Three horn cow? 1.00

01:07:39.000 Well, not the three horn.

01:07:39.000 I think the third horn's a deformity.

01:07:41.000 No animal has three horns.

01:07:42.000 Okay, so that's just a rare one.

01:07:44.000 It almost looks like the water buffalo horns.

01:07:45.000 But it looks so perfect.

01:07:47.000 No, the water buffaloes are curved.

01:07:49.000 They're right above your head.

01:07:50.000 Oh, those.

01:07:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:07:51.000 That's that thing.

01:07:52.000 No, no, it's not.

01:07:53.000 This is like that Texas thing.

01:07:55.000 That's a Texas thing?

01:07:56.000 No, that ain't a cow, bro.

01:07:58.000 It does look like a cow. 0.57

01:08:00.000 You know what?

01:08:00.000 Stop.

01:08:01.000 That might be bullshit. 0.99

01:08:02.000 Go back to that. 0.99

01:08:03.000 They like stuck it on there?

01:08:04.000 Yeah, go back to that.

01:08:05.000 The middle one, it can't be real.

01:08:06.000 Can you put your cursor on that and pause it?

01:08:07.000 No.

01:08:08.000 No, not like a phone?

01:08:10.000 Dude, that looks fake.

01:08:12.000 What's going on with that cow's face?

01:08:14.000 That looks like a cow. 1.00

01:08:14.000 That is a cow, I told you, yeah. 1.00

01:08:16.000 Are you sure it's a cow?

01:08:17.000 I'm not sure.

01:08:17.000 No, look at the back.

01:08:18.000 That's not a cow. 1.00

01:08:19.000 Yeah, they have those humps. 0.98

01:08:20.000 They call that a dulap.

01:08:23.000 Really like that?

01:08:23.000 Yeah, what's it called?

01:08:24.000 A zebu?

01:08:25.000 Is it a zebu?

01:08:26.000 Maybe it's got a lot of deformities.

01:08:28.000 It could be a zebu.

01:08:30.000 Maybe.

01:08:30.000 I'll look.

01:08:33.000 I saw one of those in real life with the two horns.

01:08:36.000 Talk about the neck strength. 0.72

01:08:38.000 I typed it in and that exact picture came out.

01:08:41.000 Of what?

01:08:42.000 Three horned cow.

01:08:43.000 It's called an Ancoli Watusi.

01:08:46.000 A modern American breed of a domestic cow.

01:08:50.000 It's a modern American and they call it a Watusi?

01:08:53.000 How rude.

01:08:55.000 Cultural appropriation.

01:08:57.000 Go to that picture down there.

01:08:59.000 There's another one with three horns.

01:09:00.000 Right below you.

01:09:01.000 There's a few.

01:09:01.000 I was trying to see if they're real or not.

01:09:03.000 Look at that one.

01:09:03.000 Is that real?

01:09:04.000 That's not real.

01:09:05.000 That's like a hat put on it.

01:09:07.000 Yeah, it's like a wizard cap.

01:09:08.000 Or a dunce cap.

01:09:08.000 That's a cap, too.

01:09:10.000 Oh.

01:09:10.000 This is the one from Uganda.

01:09:12.000 I don't know if that's...

01:09:14.000 Sometimes when animals get an injury to their bone plate, they'll branch off like elk.

01:09:20.000 They'll fight with each other.

01:09:21.000 Is that real?

01:09:22.000 That looks real.

01:09:23.000 That's not uncommon deformity.

01:09:25.000 People have horns like that. 1.00

01:09:26.000 Sometimes elk fight with each other and they stab each other in the head.

01:09:29.000 When they stab each other in the head, it breaks the pedicle and then it splits off into two different directions.

01:09:34.000 You'll have...

01:09:35.000 Instead of like that, where you have two main beams that come out of the animal's head, you'll have two main beams and then a third.

01:09:40.000 So a third one will look like a spear.

01:09:42.000 And on the one that has two, there will be no points.

01:09:46.000 It'll just be these spears that grow straight up with no additional points.

01:09:51.000 Same thing with lots of plants.

01:09:52.000 You top the cap off and there's going to grow two or four branches.

01:09:55.000 Yes, exactly.

01:09:57.000 Nature finds a way.

01:09:58.000 Yeah, but look at that.

01:10:00.000 I mean, it's like a deformity that happens sometimes.

01:10:02.000 Mmm, okay.

01:10:04.000 That's pretty dope.

01:10:05.000 Why do I like that better than two?

01:10:06.000 But see, look at the one right to the left.

01:10:08.000 That's what I was talking about.

01:10:09.000 Those horns look just like those.

01:10:11.000 See, but here's the thing.

01:10:12.000 If they all had three and that one had two, I'd be like, two is better.

01:10:15.000 It's rarer.

01:10:17.000 It looks more symmetrical. 1.00

01:10:18.000 Three looks stupid. 1.00

01:10:20.000 Yeah, I don't like... 1.00

01:10:23.000 Yeah, what's the benefit of that? 0.99

01:10:26.000 Better way to fuck you up? 0.99

01:10:27.000 Yeah, do they sell them? 0.99

01:10:29.000 Well, that was the thing about one of the ranches that I was on.

01:10:31.000 They had one of these animals, an elk, that had broken antlers.

01:10:35.000 Okay.

01:10:36.000 Or broken pedicure, or whatever it is.

01:10:38.000 Pedicle, right?

01:10:38.000 Pedicle, yeah, that's right.

01:10:39.000 And I knew it sounded wrong. 0.99

01:10:41.000 And it was branching off and forming these spears, so it was fucking killing all these other elk. 0.99

01:10:47.000 Oh, wow. 0.97

01:10:48.000 Because instead of clashing and locking up, like all these antlers do, where they have all these additional points, what they do is they lock in. 1.00

01:10:56.000 This would slide right through and stab them in the heart, stab them in the neck, stab them in the body. 0.96

01:11:01.000 So this one elk was killing everybody. 1.00

01:11:03.000 If they'd go to war with him, he'd just kill them. 0.99

01:11:05.000 That's the alpha. 1.00

01:11:06.000 He had an injury.

01:11:07.000 Well, that's also evolution at work.

01:11:09.000 It is evolution.

01:11:10.000 Well, it's not going to be genetic, so he can't pass it on.

01:11:12.000 I wonder if eventually, over many, many, many, many generations, that signal will somehow or another get through.

01:11:19.000 Obviously, something happens where they develop something like that in the first place.

01:11:24.000 If it became better that they branched off in some new way that lets them stab each other a little bit better, those animals would breed better.

01:11:34.000 Or, yeah.

01:11:34.000 The craziest thing is that grows in a couple of months.

01:11:37.000 But they also shed it, right?

01:11:38.000 Shed it at the end of the summer or end of the winter.

01:11:41.000 They have nothing on their head for a couple of months and then it starts growing again.

01:11:44.000 And it grows like wildfire.

01:11:46.000 Isn't it surprisingly light?

01:11:47.000 Because it's heavy as hell? 1.00

01:11:49.000 That's heavy as fuck. 1.00

01:11:50.000 That's bone, man. 1.00

01:11:51.000 Okay.

01:11:51.000 But there's different kinds of bone.

01:11:53.000 Feel that.

01:11:54.000 That's not even big.

01:11:55.000 That's a mule deer.

01:11:56.000 That's small.

01:11:57.000 Okay.

01:11:57.000 But that's heavy.

01:11:58.000 But I have an elk skull out there that you can pick up. 1.00

01:12:01.000 Pick that fucking thing up. 1.00

01:12:02.000 You're like, holy shit. 1.00

01:12:04.000 That's why if you look at a bull elk, they have giant necks. 1.00

01:12:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:12:07.000 Huge necks.

01:12:08.000 Because it's all that muscle.

01:12:09.000 Carry all that weight around.

01:12:10.000 Jesus.

01:12:13.000 Yeah, they're cool to look at.

01:12:14.000 They're dope.

01:12:15.000 I went down a rabbit hole getting all kinds of animal stuff.

01:12:18.000 It's kind of fun.

01:12:19.000 Getting animal stuff?

01:12:20.000 What do you mean?

01:12:21.000 Like that pen I showed you made of mammoth molar.

01:12:23.000 That's pretty cool.

01:12:24.000 Where did you get a pen made out of mammoth molar?

01:12:27.000 You could just...

01:12:28.000 Can I see it?

01:12:28.000 Yeah, sure.

01:12:29.000 Here you go.

01:12:30.000 I've got a, what do I got?

01:12:32.000 A Fordite.

01:12:33.000 That's a real mammoth mower?

01:12:34.000 Yeah, because mammoth isn't protected because they're extinct.

01:12:37.000 So you can trade mammoth ivory and mammoth teeth very easily.

01:12:41.000 They're dirty.

01:12:41.000 Yeah.

01:12:42.000 This is sweet, dude.

01:12:43.000 Yeah, it's pretty cool.

01:12:44.000 Who makes this pen?

01:12:45.000 Some guy on Instagram.

01:12:46.000 I'm blanking on his name.

01:12:47.000 Does it make you feel more important when you're writing something that's like from an animal?

01:12:50.000 How can I feel more important?

01:12:52.000 Good point.

01:12:53.000 You're good at that, dude.

01:12:54.000 You're good at the fight.

01:12:55.000 It does.

01:12:56.000 It's kind of fun because the fans paid for it.

01:12:58.000 So it's like, all right, this is cool.

01:13:01.000 Nice.

01:13:01.000 Yeah.

01:13:02.000 That's beautiful.

01:13:03.000 Are you still on Compound Media?

01:13:04.000 I am.

01:13:05.000 I've got my show Nightshade there, and my other show where I interview people is.

01:13:08.000 You're welcome.

01:13:09.000 Shout out to my friend Anthony.

01:13:10.000 Anthony's great.

01:13:11.000 Yeah, so Dave Landau is covering for me today, so thank you, Dave.

01:13:14.000 Oh, beautiful.

01:13:14.000 He's a good dude.

01:13:15.000 So he can be here with us.

01:13:16.000 That's right.

01:13:17.000 Yeah, have a fun vacation in California.

01:13:19.000 How long are you staying for?

01:13:20.000 I'm leaving tonight at 11. In and out?

01:13:23.000 Bang, bang. 0.99

01:13:24.000 No, I got here on Thursday.

01:13:25.000 What'd you do?

01:13:26.000 Do you know who Ethan Supley is?

01:13:28.000 Why do I know that name?

01:13:29.000 He's a character actor, American History 10, Boy Meets World.

01:13:32.000 He's just in...

01:13:32.000 American History X, you mean?

01:13:33.000 That was the joke.

01:13:36.000 He was on My Friend is Earl, right?

01:13:39.000 Yeah.

01:13:39.000 Earl.

01:13:40.000 My name is Earl.

01:13:41.000 So he has a new podcast talking about fitness and body issues.

01:13:45.000 I did that.

01:13:45.000 He's a great dude.

01:13:47.000 I saw Bridget Phetasy, who has been on your show. 0.60

01:13:50.000 Yeah, she's great.

01:13:50.000 We recorded also, yeah.

01:13:52.000 She's hilarious.

01:13:52.000 She's one of my favorite 20s.

01:13:53.000 Twitter follows.

01:13:54.000 I'm having dinner with her tonight.

01:13:55.000 Beautiful.

01:13:56.000 So what's up?

01:13:57.000 I will.

01:13:57.000 And my favorite place here in LA is the Museum of Jurassic Technology.

01:14:01.000 So that was...

01:14:02.000 Jurassic Technology?

01:14:03.000 Yeah, the Museum of Jurassic Technology.

01:14:05.000 What is it?

01:14:05.000 You don't know about this?

01:14:06.000 No.

01:14:06.000 It's so Joe Rogan, really?

01:14:07.000 Oh my God.

01:14:08.000 It's dedicated to the Lower Jurassic.

01:14:10.000 So basically, it's a museum about museums. 0.95

01:14:13.000 And you go there and you're looking through shit and you're like, I don't know if this is real. 0.88

01:14:16.000 So they have exhibits about like Antonius Kersher, who is from the... 0.97

01:14:21.000 1300s who said the world is tied with secret knots and using magnetism to prove God.

01:14:26.000 Then they have microscopes where someone used butterfly scales to make images on that kind of level.

01:14:33.000 They have exhibits about cat's cradle.

01:14:38.000 They have exhibits about—oh yeah, there's the microscopes.

01:14:42.000 You're not allowed to use cameras in there.

01:14:44.000 So it just keeps unwinding, unwinding, unwinding, and I'm a very Willy Wonka person, and you're in there and you're like, this is absolutely magical.

01:14:51.000 Oh yeah, yeah, they've got a room—that's horns from a woman, apparently. 1.00

01:14:54.000 What?

01:14:55.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:14:56.000 That grew out of a moon's head. 1.00

01:14:57.000 But you know, back in the day museums, half the shit was fake. 0.99

01:14:59.000 So you're in there and you're wondering, is this real or is this not? 0.99

01:15:02.000 They have an exhibit now of dice that are falling apart.

01:15:04.000 Like dice that are dying.

01:15:06.000 And they have an exhibit on mobile homes of California.

01:15:09.000 So I love that place.

01:15:12.000 Wait, where's this place again?

01:15:13.000 It's in Culver City. 0.99

01:15:14.000 No shit. 0.99

01:15:15.000 I've never heard anybody talk about it. 0.99

01:15:16.000 Really?

01:15:17.000 Yeah.

01:15:18.000 Have you?

01:15:18.000 Never.

01:15:19.000 Dude, it's the best place in LA. Look at that.

01:15:21.000 Look at the stars, too.

01:15:22.000 It is so good.

01:15:23.000 4.4 stars on Google.

01:15:25.000 And you go in there and you don't know what the hell you're looking at.

01:15:27.000 It's closed, though.

01:15:29.000 Yeah, but I was just there yesterday.

01:15:30.000 It's amazing.

01:15:32.000 Oh, Monday it's closed.

01:15:33.000 Wednesday it's closed.

01:15:36.000 Tuesday.

01:15:36.000 Tuesday it's closed.

01:15:38.000 That's crazy.

01:15:39.000 It's only open Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. 0.99

01:15:41.000 What if I want to find out about cool shit on Monday? 0.97

01:15:44.000 Well, internet. 0.99

01:15:46.000 Maybe they need to have a better business model. 0.72

01:15:48.000 That seems ridiculous.

01:15:50.000 People like museums on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

01:15:52.000 LA, everything is closed on Monday.

01:15:54.000 I wanted to go to cool art galleries.

01:15:56.000 I had a whole good list and they're all closed.

01:15:58.000 Are they really?

01:15:58.000 Even the Broad is closed.

01:16:00.000 You should go to the LACMA. Yeah, LACMA is open.

01:16:02.000 Terrible.

01:16:02.000 It's a terrible?

01:16:03.000 It's a disaster.

01:16:04.000 Well, they're rebuilding it.

01:16:05.000 But it's not what's a disaster.

01:16:08.000 What's a disaster is what they call art.

01:16:09.000 There's a plexiglass box that's on the ground.

01:16:11.000 It's just an amber box.

01:16:13.000 No, seriously?

01:16:13.000 Oh, yeah.

01:16:14.000 Oh, yeah.

01:16:15.000 And I go, what is that?

01:16:16.000 And they go, well, it's open for your interpretation.

01:16:19.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:16:19.000 Like, there's a line, like a wire around the thing.

01:16:23.000 You can't pass through.

01:16:25.000 I'm like, why can't I sit on the box?

01:16:26.000 Like, no, that's a piece of art.

01:16:28.000 I'm like, you're kidding.

01:16:29.000 Wait, you're...

01:16:30.000 Really?

01:16:30.000 Oh yeah.

01:16:31.000 It's so dumb it makes you angry. 1.00

01:16:33.000 Okay. 1.00

01:16:33.000 And then there's another art exhibit that was videos of people playing catch. 1.00

01:16:39.000 Oh my god.

01:16:40.000 That's it.

01:16:40.000 Oh my, you're not joking.

01:16:41.000 No, I'm not joking. 1.00

01:16:43.000 That stupid fucking thing is just sitting there. 1.00

01:16:45.000 People are like, oh my god, brilliant. 1.00

01:16:46.000 That's like Ikea.

01:16:47.000 Oh my god, amazing.

01:16:51.000 Amazing.

01:16:52.000 That makes me sad because there is so much good contemporary art.

01:16:56.000 Like that?

01:16:57.000 What's that?

01:16:58.000 What is that?

01:16:58.000 I like the paintings, though.

01:16:59.000 In the back, the middle...

01:17:00.000 Yeah.

01:17:00.000 That one's pretty cool.

01:17:01.000 Oh, well, there's definitely some cool shit there. 0.99

01:17:03.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:17:04.000 But when I saw that amber box, I got violent.

01:17:06.000 All right, we're out of here.

01:17:07.000 Yeah, done.

01:17:07.000 Yeah.

01:17:08.000 I got angry. 0.99

01:17:08.000 Like, you made me pay money, and I'm going to see this fucking amber box? 0.99

01:17:11.000 Like, really? 0.99

01:17:12.000 Like, all the art.

01:17:15.000 All the art!

01:17:17.000 You put that on the bottom?

01:17:19.000 You put it on the floor so people could stare at it in the L.A. Museum of Art?

01:17:24.000 You know what it is?

01:17:25.000 It basically turns the audience into performance artists. 1.00

01:17:28.000 Because everyone looks at it, or you lose your shit, so you got triggered. 0.99

01:17:32.000 I didn't get triggered. 1.00

01:17:33.000 I was like, oh boy.

01:17:36.000 I went home with my kids, but they were like, what is that?

01:17:38.000 I go, that's the box.

01:17:39.000 Why do we have a box?

01:17:40.000 I go, that's the art.

01:17:41.000 The art is the box.

01:17:42.000 They were angry.

01:17:45.000 I think there's an art to angering children.

01:17:48.000 Oh, for sure.

01:17:49.000 Yeah, they're hilarious.

01:17:50.000 The more I talk about this box, the more I like it. 1.00

01:17:52.000 It's so goddamn dumb. 1.00

01:17:54.000 It made me angry. 1.00

01:17:55.000 Well, look, what about Marcel Duchamp in the urinal?

01:17:58.000 What is that?

01:17:58.000 Like, over 100 years ago.

01:17:59.000 Marcel Duchamp was a painter, right?

01:18:02.000 And they were having an exhibit and they asked him to contribute something.

01:18:05.000 He goes, alright.

01:18:06.000 He takes a urinal, puts it on the thing and goes, it's called fountain. 0.98

01:18:10.000 And they didn't know what the fuck to do. 0.95

01:18:11.000 So they finally included it, but behind a curtain. 1.00

01:18:14.000 Assholes. 1.00

01:18:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:18:15.000 It's hilarious. 1.00

01:18:16.000 A lot of those fucking art assholes. 1.00

01:18:20.000 The art world is a weird world, man. 1.00

01:18:22.000 Yeah, I don't know it at all.

01:18:23.000 People catch fire, they become hot, and then you look at their stuff and you're like, I went over to this guy's house.

01:18:29.000 He owned an agency in LA. I mean, a big house in Aspen.

01:18:33.000 Fucking beautiful house. 0.98

01:18:35.000 And he had this thing on his wall. 1.00

01:18:36.000 It looked like a six-year-old took some tissue paper of different colors and glued them in some weird fucking shape. 0.97

01:18:43.000 So I said, hey man, did your kid do that? 0.98

01:18:46.000 And this agent goes, that's actually a blah, blah, blah.

01:18:49.000 That's a blah, blah, blah.

01:18:50.000 I go, what do you mean?

01:18:51.000 Wait a minute.

01:18:51.000 You paid money for this?

01:18:52.000 Yeah.

01:18:53.000 He said it's worth $30,000.

01:18:54.000 I go, that's worth $30,000!

01:18:57.000 That! 0.99

01:18:58.000 What about the guy who takes Mickey Mouse and puts X's over his eyes and his painting is sold for like $10 million?

01:19:03.000 Amazing.

01:19:04.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?

01:19:05.000 Keep that hustle alive.

01:19:06.000 What's that?

01:19:08.000 Keep that hustle alive.

01:19:09.000 He's got one word name and he's just some dude and he makes Simpsons and just puts cross...

01:19:14.000 Cause.

01:19:16.000 K-A-W-S. Good. 1.00

01:19:17.000 Have you seen this guy?

01:19:18.000 No.

01:19:18.000 Look at his art.

01:19:19.000 How about I won't?

01:19:20.000 It's pretty cool.

01:19:21.000 This is my show.

01:19:22.000 This ain't the Michael Malice experience.

01:19:24.000 Come on, Michael. 0.99

01:19:25.000 Why do you make me dumber? 0.99

01:19:26.000 I heard something about this recently. 0.98

01:19:27.000 I don't know if it's accurate because it sounds like a juicy truth, but it also could be easily disproven.

01:19:33.000 What you're saying, that jacked up prices of art is some rich person scammed for tax evasion, sort of.

01:19:40.000 Oh! 0.60

01:19:41.000 It's a write-off?

01:19:42.000 They can get an appraisal really high and then they can donate it to a company and not pay taxes, but they can donate a $20 million piece of art.

01:19:48.000 I'm sure there's some of that.

01:19:52.000 I'm sure.

01:19:53.000 However, I know people. 1.00

01:19:55.000 That are these art collector folks that buy this stupid stuff and they have it all over their fucking house and they want to tell you what it is and where it came from. 1.00

01:20:03.000 It's a thing. 1.00

01:20:04.000 It's like buying wine that costs a thousand dollars a bottle.

01:20:07.000 There's people that are into that.

01:20:08.000 They're into showing it to you and they're into...

01:20:10.000 Look at this watch.

01:20:10.000 It's from the 16th century.

01:20:12.000 There's people that are into that shit and they love the fact that they have some unusual piece of art on their wall and they love the sophisticated feeling they get by describing what the artist was trying to say. 0.99

01:20:24.000 See, I have this guy, Sean Chow, C-H-A-O. He makes dioramas. 1.00

01:20:29.000 What is a diorama?

01:20:30.000 It's like a 3D sculpture.

01:20:32.000 It's like a little scene.

01:20:33.000 And I have it right over my desk because when I went to LA like seven years ago, I wanted a giant robot.

01:20:38.000 They had an exhibit.

01:20:39.000 I'm like, this is really cool.

01:20:40.000 And one day I'm going to buy it.

01:20:42.000 And I bought it.

01:20:42.000 And every day I look at it, I'm like, oh, this is like something I really wanted.

01:20:46.000 But it was like a grand.

01:20:46.000 It wasn't like 30 grand.

01:20:48.000 Right.

01:20:48.000 And anyone can look at it and be like, oh, this makes me happy.

01:20:52.000 It's actually art.

01:20:52.000 Yeah.

01:20:53.000 Look at it.

01:20:53.000 Sean Chow is his name.

01:20:54.000 There's some art.

01:20:55.000 Look at that.

01:20:56.000 Look at that.

01:20:56.000 Oh, wow.

01:20:57.000 It's fun.

01:20:58.000 That is pretty cool.

01:20:58.000 Yeah.

01:20:59.000 But that makes sense to me.

01:21:01.000 Right.

01:21:01.000 I get that.

01:21:01.000 You can look at it and you'll understand why I enjoy it.

01:21:04.000 Yeah.

01:21:04.000 I get that.

01:21:06.000 There's things I get.

01:21:07.000 Yeah, because that's not tissues.

01:21:09.000 This is a fun thing of fish underwater.

01:21:12.000 Yeah, it's someone who made something.

01:21:13.000 Yes, with his hands.

01:21:14.000 And you're also helping someone directly by buying his product.

01:21:16.000 But here's where the hustle is.

01:21:18.000 Isn't that great?

01:21:18.000 Look at that.

01:21:18.000 That's pretty cool.

01:21:19.000 But here's where the hustle is.

01:21:21.000 When people don't really like it, but they pretend they like it because it's the cool thing to pretend you like.

01:21:27.000 I think it's more they also...

01:21:29.000 Same with clothes. 1.00

01:21:30.000 You're like a label whore. 1.00

01:21:31.000 It's like, oh, this is a this. 1.00

01:21:33.000 It's like you just want to buy the name. 0.99

01:21:34.000 What's up with the sneakers that kids are wearing that have a fucking green tag on them? 0.99

01:21:40.000 It was explained to me. 0.99

01:21:41.000 Are we total boomers now?

01:21:42.000 There's a green tag.

01:21:43.000 I think I'm a boomer.

01:21:45.000 I'm not a boomer, right?

01:21:46.000 I'm a Generation X. But boomer's a state of mind. 0.80

01:21:48.000 Oh, okay, cool.

01:21:49.000 I'm in.

01:21:51.000 This green tag.

01:21:52.000 What is it?

01:21:52.000 Off-white.

01:21:53.000 Is that what it is?

01:21:53.000 Yeah.

01:21:54.000 So they have this green tag on this pair.

01:21:57.000 I was buying a pair of Nikes for my kid.

01:21:59.000 And they're like, oh, those are off-white.

01:22:01.000 What's up with this green thing?

01:22:03.000 They're like, oh, you leave that on. 1.00

01:22:05.000 I'm like, fuck you. 1.00

01:22:06.000 I'm not leaving this stupid plastic tag on. 1.00

01:22:09.000 No, you don't leave that on. 0.99

01:22:12.000 It's this thing that people do.

01:22:13.000 That thing. 0.99

01:22:14.000 Giant ass tag. 1.00

01:22:15.000 They leave these stupid fucking tags. 1.00

01:22:17.000 And these are huge. 1.00

01:22:18.000 They're cumbersome. 0.99

01:22:19.000 They look dumb. 0.99

01:22:20.000 But they wear them on their shoe. 1.00

01:22:22.000 It's part of the thing.

01:22:23.000 It's part of the brand.

01:22:24.000 This person was trying to explain it to me.

01:22:25.000 It's part of the brand.

01:22:26.000 Look, in five years it's going to go away.

01:22:28.000 Why is it here?

01:22:29.000 Because it looks different.

01:22:31.000 No!

01:22:31.000 It looks different.

01:22:32.000 It's like a flag. 1.00

01:22:33.000 Someone should have a knife and they should go up to these fucking kids and just cut that off and go, no. 1.00

01:22:38.000 We're about to go to war. 1.00

01:22:41.000 They're making you soft and stupid. 1.00

01:22:43.000 This is probably a plot by the Russians and the Chinese and the Iranians to try to make sure that our kids grow dumber and dumber. 1.00

01:22:49.000 This is probably something that was started out on Instagram by one of those IRA, Internet Research Agencies. 0.99

01:22:55.000 What's this?

01:22:56.000 That's the people that make all the propaganda from the Russian troll farms, the IRA. You never heard of that?

01:23:01.000 I have not heard of it. 0.84

01:23:02.000 I am a Russian troll, but yeah.

01:23:03.000 Internet Research Agency is a state-funded organization.

01:23:06.000 There's this huge group of people that makes these – they did just some hilarious stuff.

01:23:11.000 There's a woman named Renee DiResta. 0.88

01:23:13.000 She investigated this and reported on it.

01:23:15.000 She came on the podcast to explain it to me after I'd heard her on Sam Harris' podcast.

01:23:18.000 But – They did stuff like they would have a fake Black Lives Matter page that they started, and then they would argue with people about Black Lives Matter, and then they would organize a Texas separatism meeting.

01:23:34.000 They organized a Texas separatism page.

01:23:37.000 They had a page, and then they organized a meeting, a Facebook meeting.

01:23:40.000 Where these people would be there at the same time as another meeting they set up between these Muslim people.

01:23:46.000 So they'd have the Texas separatists on one side of the street and the Muslims on the other side of the street having a protest at the exact same time. 1.00

01:23:53.000 Like they were doing shit like this on purpose and fucking with people. 0.99

01:23:56.000 That's kind of hilarious. 1.00

01:23:57.000 Yeah, and they did a lot of anti-Hillary Clinton stuff and a lot of different – they would pretend that they're black women. 1.00

01:24:06.000 As a black woman, I cannot vote for Hillary Clinton.

01:24:09.000 She does not represent us.

01:24:10.000 And they were just sowing these seeds of discourse or discord all throughout social media.

01:24:16.000 That's wonderful.

01:24:17.000 Wacky social media pages.

01:24:18.000 It's kind of hilarious.

01:24:19.000 Yeah.

01:24:19.000 Yeah, the more discord, the better.

01:24:21.000 But of course it's going to happen.

01:24:22.000 As soon as the government realizes that if you rile people enough, they'll engage, and then you can actually shift opinions.

01:24:28.000 Yeah, of course.

01:24:29.000 Especially if you're funny.

01:24:30.000 Yes.

01:24:30.000 That's one of the things about all these funny memes.

01:24:33.000 Oh, yeah.

01:24:34.000 Oh, my God.

01:24:35.000 I mean, this is why I'm very scared for the Democrats, because Joe Biden might be the nominee.

01:24:42.000 Okay.

01:24:42.000 He does not have a good social media team.

01:24:44.000 When he had this family photo for Halloween, I just replied with a photo of a crack pipe.

01:24:52.000 And where's Hunter?

01:24:53.000 Hashtag was trending.

01:24:54.000 And I'm like, no matter what you think of Joe Biden, it is not acceptable for his Twitter not to be able to handle this and anticipate it.

01:25:01.000 Especially because you have someone who just tweeted his way into the presidency three years ago.

01:25:05.000 Where are the people who are helping this guy with his social media game?

01:25:09.000 Yeah, they can't help him.

01:25:12.000 The people that are mean and funny like that are all Republicans.

01:25:17.000 There's something about the memes that go against Trump versus the memes that go for Trump.

01:25:24.000 Like, the pro-Trump memes are so much funnier.

01:25:27.000 Yeah, the left camp meme is the thing.

01:25:28.000 They're not that good at it.

01:25:30.000 They're not that good at it.

01:25:31.000 It's a mean kind of humor.

01:25:33.000 One of my tweets became a meme when your girl Tulsi took out Officer Harris, and I said, if there's one thing a Hawaiian knows, it's how to roast a pig. 0.97

01:25:41.000 And that went wide.

01:25:46.000 I wonder if she knows about that.

01:25:48.000 She knows.

01:25:48.000 Does she?

01:25:49.000 She knows, yeah.

01:25:49.000 Did she see it?

01:25:50.000 She saw it.

01:25:51.000 She saw it.

01:25:51.000 How do you know she saw it?

01:25:52.000 Because I... Send it to me and I'll make sure she sees it.

01:25:55.000 Okay.

01:25:55.000 Please.

01:25:55.000 I will, absolutely.

01:25:56.000 I'll send it to her.

01:25:57.000 Her chief of communications, whatever, follows me on Twitter.

01:26:00.000 Oh.

01:26:01.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:26:01.000 Perfect.

01:26:02.000 Yeah, she's good.

01:26:03.000 I like her.

01:26:03.000 I like her as a person.

01:26:05.000 I'm just glad that now that Harris is gone, it's just going to be hilarious for the next year, whoever it is.

01:26:10.000 Well, the Harris thing was weird, man.

01:26:12.000 Like, that they didn't know the stuff that you could call her out on.

01:26:16.000 Oh, yeah.

01:26:17.000 That Tulsi did.

01:26:18.000 But Tulsi didn't even get to the horrible stuff.

01:26:21.000 The horrible stuff was when she was threatening single moms with jail time.

01:26:25.000 Oh, yeah.

01:26:25.000 If their kids were truant.

01:26:26.000 Right. 0.99

01:26:27.000 Imagine you're just barely staying above water as a single mom and you've got to literally make your fucking children terrified that you're going to go to jail in order for them to go to jail. 1.00

01:26:37.000 She was laughing about how that's how she got people to go to jail. 0.99

01:26:39.000 That's how she got people to go to school. 0.99

01:26:41.000 And that's the thing is that I don't think she actually cared.

01:26:43.000 I think this was her means to further her political career.

01:26:45.000 I think you're right.

01:26:46.000 Because when you are, you could say a lot of things about Joe Biden and I have on Twitter.

01:26:50.000 To go on stage and call him a closet racist or imply that, come on.

01:26:54.000 Is that what she did? 0.92

01:26:55.000 The first debate, she goes, oh, you were against busing.

01:26:58.000 And he's like, I was against it on the federal level.

01:26:59.000 Like, what are you talking about?

01:27:00.000 She's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:27:02.000 I was like, who are you fooling?

01:27:03.000 They're just playing games. 1.00

01:27:04.000 You nasty, nasty pig. 1.00

01:27:06.000 Yeah, they're playing games. 1.00

01:27:07.000 When she dropped out, like, the fans chipped in on my live stream.

01:27:11.000 And I spent $400 on ham.

01:27:14.000 And I did a ham tasting because the pig was done.

01:27:16.000 Oh! 0.60

01:27:16.000 It was a lot of fun. 0.60

01:27:17.000 Have you ever tried that Spanish ham?

01:27:19.000 I love it.

01:27:20.000 It's like $200 a pound.

01:27:22.000 I have tried it.

01:27:22.000 It's delicious.

01:27:23.000 The pigs only eat acorns.

01:27:24.000 Yeah, that's that stuff that Chris Ryan brought in.

01:27:27.000 It's fantastic.

01:27:28.000 It's really good.

01:27:29.000 Fantastic, yeah.

01:27:31.000 Yeah.

01:27:32.000 I've had wild pigs that only eat acorns.

01:27:35.000 Ham is so good.

01:27:37.000 Yeah.

01:27:37.000 Wild pigs that only eat acorns have a great smell to that.

01:27:40.000 And it's dark.

01:27:41.000 It's like a dark meat.

01:27:42.000 So good.

01:27:43.000 Yeah.

01:27:44.000 I tried like 20 different kinds of ham and I loved every minute of it.

01:27:47.000 Yeah.

01:27:47.000 I know a dude who he raises pigs and he feeds them hazelnuts and chocolate milk.

01:27:52.000 Yeah.

01:27:53.000 And the bacon.

01:27:53.000 And it comes through.

01:27:54.000 Yeah.

01:27:55.000 I don't understand how.

01:27:56.000 Oh, and magical Jesus.

01:27:58.000 You gotta feed them mushrooms, too.

01:28:00.000 Yeah, I don't know what happens.

01:28:01.000 Can you imagine?

01:28:02.000 They're eating mushroom ham on your tripping face.

01:28:04.000 Well, I guarantee you, I wonder if it works. 0.93

01:28:07.000 What happens when pigs eat psychedelic mushrooms?

01:28:09.000 They must break down.

01:28:11.000 Come on, right?

01:28:11.000 I don't think so.

01:28:12.000 You think it goes into the meat?

01:28:13.000 Green deer are addicted to something called the Amanita muscaria.

01:28:16.000 That's a mushroom?

01:28:18.000 Amanita muscaria is a Santa Claus mushroom. 0.97

01:28:20.000 Okay, why Santa Claus?

01:28:20.000 It's the mushroom that's connected to the myth of Santa Claus.

01:28:23.000 How's that?

01:28:23.000 It's got a mycorrhizal relationship with coniferous trees, meaning it grows under pine trees.

01:28:27.000 It looks like a shiny package.

01:28:30.000 No.

01:28:30.000 Think about pine trees that we have.

01:28:32.000 We put in our fucking house. 1.00

01:28:33.000 Yeah, of course. 1.00

01:28:33.000 And there's little shiny packages on the pine trees. 1.00

01:28:35.000 Do you have a picture of this?

01:28:36.000 It's red and white, which is just like Santa Claus's outfit.

01:28:39.000 Yeah.

01:28:39.000 And reindeers love it.

01:28:40.000 And they fucking trip balls when they eat it. 0.99

01:28:42.000 And they fly away. 1.00

01:28:44.000 Really?

01:28:45.000 Seriously.

01:28:45.000 It was all a shaman who used to come down during, like, when they were telling people not to eat these mushrooms.

01:28:50.000 Shaman would sneak into people's houses through the fucking chimneys. 0.99

01:28:53.000 Only if you were nice. 1.00

01:28:54.000 Yeah, it would just climb onto the roof.

01:28:55.000 Or maybe only if you were naughty. 0.99

01:28:56.000 Because they were watching the fucking front door. 0.99

01:28:58.000 So people would climb down through the chimney with a bag of mushrooms, and they would all trip balls together. 1.00

01:29:02.000 Wow.

01:29:03.000 All speculative, of course.

01:29:04.000 Wait, you can buy these mushrooms?

01:29:06.000 No, you can pick it.

01:29:07.000 Yeah, but I mean...

01:29:08.000 Amanita Miscari is a weird one. 1.00

01:29:09.000 Okay.

01:29:09.000 It's a weird one.

01:29:10.000 That's what it is.

01:29:11.000 I've taken it before, and it does something.

01:29:14.000 But it doesn't do something as profound as psilocybin, but reindeer, or caribou, I should say, which is what a reindeer is.

01:29:22.000 Caribou, love them.

01:29:24.000 Look at that face.

01:29:25.000 And there's another thing they do with this. 0.99

01:29:28.000 Reindeer apparently will dive on your piss. 1.00

01:29:30.000 If you're in a lodge and you're eating the Amanita Muscaria and you urinate outside, you have to be careful of reindeer.

01:29:37.000 Because they'll literally tackle you to try to get to your piss.

01:29:40.000 Because they smell it.

01:29:40.000 Because it smells so potent.

01:29:42.000 So people actually, when they trip balls, they get a second high by drinking their own piss. 0.99

01:29:46.000 So they're tripping balls, they piss into this glass, and they drink their own piss. 0.99

01:29:50.000 Yeah, because it's going to be so concentrated coming out. 1.00

01:29:51.000 Your body wants to get rid of it as fast as possible.

01:29:53.000 Yeah, this is the mushroom that's on the cover of the John Marco Allegro book, The Sacred Mushroom on the Cross.

01:29:59.000 It's that mushroom.

01:30:00.000 What would be the evolutionary advantage of a reindeer eating this?

01:30:04.000 They trip.

01:30:04.000 It feels good.

01:30:05.000 But they're going to be vulnerable.

01:30:06.000 I don't think so.

01:30:08.000 Some animals, including Vikings, they would trip and then go into war.

01:30:14.000 And they thought it actually gave them an advantage.

01:30:17.000 They would call them berserkers.

01:30:19.000 Oh, because they're not going to be feeling pain and they're not going to be fearing death.

01:30:22.000 They're not going to be fearing death, and they're going to be...

01:30:24.000 Well, first of all, war was such a part of life.

01:30:26.000 It was so normal and so constant.

01:30:28.000 It was a constant.

01:30:29.000 And they wanted, in some way, to be heightened or prepared for it.

01:30:32.000 So whether they were drunk, which a lot of tribes would just get drunk and then go into war, or whether they...

01:30:37.000 Because they would just be able to endure and be willing to do things that maybe they wouldn't be able to do or be willing to do if they weren't drunk.

01:30:45.000 Maybe they would...

01:30:46.000 Anticipate, you know, the potential dangers of combat, and they freak out. 1.00

01:30:50.000 But when they're drunk, they'll be like, FUCKING WAR! And just run in. 1.00

01:30:53.000 And, well, they would do that with mushrooms, too.

01:30:55.000 I just remembered, this is Foothill Antiques for the Mammoth Tooth.

01:30:58.000 Foothill Antiques.

01:30:59.000 They're great stuff.

01:30:59.000 It's a guy.

01:31:00.000 I'm glad we're not live anymore.

01:31:01.000 That way I could buy them all.

01:31:02.000 Well, he's got Fordite also I got from him.

01:31:04.000 Do you know Fordite?

01:31:05.000 What is that?

01:31:06.000 You know about Fordite?

01:31:07.000 No.

01:31:07.000 This is such a cool thing.

01:31:09.000 So all the car companies...

01:31:10.000 Where's the pen?

01:31:10.000 I'm going to write that down.

01:31:11.000 Foothill Antiques.

01:31:12.000 All the car companies used to use spray paint manually for the different cars, right?

01:31:17.000 So over the years, you'd have layers of this paint, and it became basically an artificial mineral.

01:31:22.000 So when you take a cross-section, it looks like...

01:31:24.000 Oh, give me that panel. 1.00

01:31:25.000 Why don't I give you the nice panel?

01:31:28.000 Foothill aunties.

01:31:28.000 I'm sorry.

01:31:29.000 So, say it again?

01:31:30.000 Fordite, right?

01:31:30.000 You have these car companies, car plants.

01:31:33.000 So, they're spray painting the Ford truck black.

01:31:36.000 The next year, it's red.

01:31:37.000 The next year, it's green.

01:31:38.000 Over time, the painting accumulates, and you can use that cross-section to make really cool things.

01:31:44.000 Oh, wow.

01:31:45.000 Yeah, look up Fordite, Jamie.

01:31:46.000 It looks really, really cool.

01:31:47.000 They make jewelry.

01:31:48.000 Just keep repainting?

01:31:48.000 Yeah, look.

01:31:49.000 Oh, that's real?

01:31:50.000 Yeah.

01:31:50.000 That's from a car?

01:31:52.000 That's from a car plant.

01:31:53.000 Because look, every year, it's a different color.

01:31:55.000 Oh.

01:31:56.000 It's a really cool substance.

01:31:57.000 I've got a couple of Fordite pens, Warthog Tusk.

01:32:01.000 That's crazy.

01:32:02.000 Wooden one from the DMZ. Yeah.

01:32:05.000 Wow.

01:32:06.000 Isn't that amazing?

01:32:06.000 That's really cool.

01:32:07.000 Yeah.

01:32:08.000 I never heard of that before.

01:32:10.000 And so, one more time, they're taking it out of...

01:32:13.000 Like a Ford plant or a Corvette plant or whatever.

01:32:15.000 I have one of Corvette, one of Ford.

01:32:16.000 And over the years, you know, they chip it away from the walls, and they have a block of it.

01:32:21.000 There you go.

01:32:22.000 So it gets that thick.

01:32:23.000 Yeah.

01:32:23.000 Wow.

01:32:24.000 And you could do whatever you want with it, including makeup and turning it into paint. 0.97

01:32:27.000 Dude, that's fucking cool. 0.92

01:32:28.000 Right? 0.99

01:32:28.000 That's like a cool form of a fossil or something. 0.99

01:32:31.000 It's like an industrial fossil.

01:32:33.000 Yeah.

01:32:34.000 Looks cool.

01:32:36.000 It's like tree rings, almost.

01:32:37.000 So you have a pen made out of that?

01:32:39.000 I've got two. 0.99

01:32:40.000 Oh, you lucky devil.

01:32:41.000 Yeah, he sent me one for free.

01:32:43.000 So how do people know that you're into pens?

01:32:45.000 Oh, so I do something called spite funding, right? 0.58

01:32:48.000 So what happens on Twitter is every so often some cretin will come for me and I'll be like, it would be a shame if people send me money to waste on things I don't want just to spite you. 0.99

01:32:59.000 And I put up michaelmalice.com contribute and I go, I will post receipts.

01:33:02.000 And people send me cash and they say, this has to be wasted.

01:33:05.000 So I buy, I don't need seven pens.

01:33:08.000 I don't need eight shaving brushes.

01:33:10.000 I don't need a signed copy of Langston Hughes' book.

01:33:12.000 I got them.

01:33:13.000 Fossils. 0.99

01:33:15.000 And this is all because of a cretin? 0.99

01:33:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:33:18.000 Who comes after you?

01:33:19.000 On Twitter.

01:33:19.000 And I'm like, okay.

01:33:20.000 And then they go, oh, you're a snake oil salesman.

01:33:23.000 I'm like, no, no, no. 0.79

01:33:24.000 No one's getting anything out of this except for spiting you.

01:33:27.000 I don't really need these things.

01:33:28.000 How does that make you a snake oil salesman?

01:33:30.000 Because they're like, oh, you're conning these people out of money.

01:33:32.000 They're like, no, no, no.

01:33:34.000 It's all understood. 1.00

01:33:35.000 This is total waste of money just to fuck with you. 1.00

01:33:38.000 Well, they definitely don't know what snake oil is then. 1.00

01:33:41.000 Yeah.

01:33:42.000 Now, why are you engaging with people on Twitter?

01:33:44.000 You're a smart guy.

01:33:45.000 Because it's fun.

01:33:46.000 You enjoy it?

01:33:47.000 It's hilarious.

01:33:48.000 It's my biggest activity.

01:33:50.000 Really? 1.00

01:33:50.000 Clowning idiots? 1.00

01:33:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:33:52.000 That's your number one thing?

01:33:53.000 I'm really fun with it, and I'm really good with it.

01:33:56.000 I've started doing a little bit of psyops on Twitter, too.

01:33:58.000 Psyops?

01:33:59.000 Yeah.

01:33:59.000 So, like, for example, what I've been doing is a lot of these people, these candidates, their, like, press secretary will have fewer followers than me, right?

01:34:09.000 So I'll say something like, hey...

01:34:11.000 There was an article in the New York Times today about your candidate.

01:34:15.000 How freaked out is the campaign and how much is this a reflection on you not being able to do your job correctly?

01:34:22.000 Because you know when that article hits, the New York Times, you're in the campaign, you're in the bunker, you're freaking out, what does this mean? 1.00

01:34:27.000 And if someone's like, fuck you, they're going to be like, no, fuck you. 1.00

01:34:30.000 So you do this even if there's not a real story? 1.00

01:34:32.000 Well, no, if there is a story.

01:34:33.000 Oh.

01:34:34.000 Because you know they're in full panic.

01:34:35.000 Okay.

01:34:35.000 So when they're in full panic, then you attack.

01:34:37.000 Yeah.

01:34:38.000 Wanted to do this?

01:34:39.000 For fun.

01:34:40.000 And because they're bad people often.

01:34:41.000 Which ones are bad?

01:34:42.000 Jeremy Corbyn and Kamala Harris.

01:34:44.000 Those are the two I thought were the worst.

01:34:46.000 Other than that, I don't think anyone's a bad person.

01:34:49.000 Who's the Corbyn guy again?

01:34:50.000 What do you mean?

01:34:51.000 Labor?

01:34:52.000 Right.

01:34:53.000 What's his name again?

01:34:54.000 Jeremy Corbyn, yeah.

01:34:55.000 What does he do?

01:34:56.000 He was the head of the Labor Party in the UK. That's right, okay.

01:34:59.000 He just had their biggest disaster election since 1935. Oh, that's right.

01:35:03.000 My favorite thing he did was he said his pronouns.

01:35:07.000 Oh, yeah.

01:35:08.000 He said my pronouns are he, him.

01:35:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:35:10.000 I did this video.

01:35:11.000 My name is Jamie Corbin.

01:35:12.000 Jeremy Corbin.

01:35:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:35:13.000 Whatever the fuck it is. 1.00

01:35:15.000 Elizabeth Warren has her pronouns on her Twitter. 1.00

01:35:17.000 Thank God she does.

01:35:17.000 Yeah.

01:35:18.000 Well, this is signaling that you're part of the tribe.

01:35:20.000 Yes. 0.93

01:35:21.000 Yeah, you're willing to believe in nonsense. 1.00

01:35:22.000 That bitch is 150 years old. 1.00

01:35:24.000 She knows what her fucking pronouns are. 1.00

01:35:27.000 Mum and mummy. 1.00

01:35:28.000 Come on with this nonsense. 0.59

01:35:30.000 Your pronouns are. 0.66

01:35:32.000 What's your name?

01:35:33.000 Is it Elizabeth?

01:35:33.000 You're a lady, right?

01:35:37.000 In her defense, Warren is a man's name.

01:35:41.000 It's not there. 1.00

01:35:43.000 It's so stupid! 1.00

01:35:50.000 It's so stupid! 1.00

01:35:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:35:55.000 Do you know who Janae Marie Kroc is?

01:35:57.000 No.

01:35:58.000 So Janae Marie Kroc, I had her on my... 1.00

01:36:00.000 It's just also funny how...

01:36:01.000 I'm not saying you're a conservative, how conservatives react to this stuff.

01:36:03.000 She was, as Matt Krakowski, like the world champion powerlifter, right?

01:36:08.000 Thousand-pound squat, something crazy.

01:36:10.000 Oh, my God.

01:36:10.000 Comes out as trans or gender-fluid, whatever, Janae.

01:36:14.000 And people...

01:36:16.000 I had her on my show. 0.73

01:36:16.000 People freaking out. 0.73

01:36:17.000 Competing as a man.

01:36:19.000 No, no, no.

01:36:20.000 As Matt, yeah, before and after, he was a world record holder.

01:36:25.000 He competed as a man.

01:36:26.000 And now they're like, well, if he competed as a man and got a world record, now he wants to be a chick, I don't know what to do about this. 0.97

01:36:32.000 And they don't know how to react.

01:36:34.000 What's happening there?

01:36:35.000 She's an amazing, there's a documentary.

01:36:38.000 Transgender power lifter, Janae Marie Kroc, shares unbelievable.

01:36:42.000 Of course it's unbelievable.

01:36:43.000 Look at that lady's arms. 1.00

01:36:45.000 I mean, I'm going to be correct and call her a lady. 1.00

01:36:47.000 She's toned down. 0.97

01:36:48.000 She's lost weight.

01:36:49.000 What is going on there?

01:36:51.000 What's happening there?

01:36:52.000 And so she competes as a woman? 1.00

01:36:54.000 No, no.

01:36:55.000 As Matt, years ago, there's a lift named after her.

01:36:59.000 There's like four people who have lifts named after him.

01:37:00.000 The Arnold Prest, you got the Pendley Row, Deadlifts after Kevin Deadlift, and Croc Rose after Matt.

01:37:06.000 Deadlift is named after a guy?

01:37:08.000 That's a joke.

01:37:12.000 Man, you are a boomer.

01:37:13.000 Put this guy out here.

01:37:14.000 Go back to that picture again. 0.96

01:37:16.000 Transgender lifter, Janae Marie. 0.98

01:37:18.000 Look at that.

01:37:19.000 What is happening here?

01:37:21.000 Compete for IFBB Pro.

01:37:24.000 That's bodybuilding, right?

01:37:24.000 Just competing as a male.

01:37:27.000 Jesus.

01:37:28.000 I'm so confused.

01:37:30.000 But then again, Eddie Izzard was on here.

01:37:32.000 And Eddie has been like the most open transgender person forever.

01:37:37.000 And he still calls himself Eddie.

01:37:40.000 Okay.

01:37:40.000 And he likes women.

01:37:42.000 Yeah, she dates women. 1.00

01:37:43.000 Okay. 1.00

01:37:45.000 She just likes fucking them with makeup on and shit? 1.00

01:37:48.000 I don't know how she fucks them. 1.00

01:37:50.000 That's the thing. 0.99

01:37:51.000 What kind of chaos?

01:37:54.000 She's a really interesting person.

01:37:56.000 This is Kali Yuga.

01:37:58.000 That's what this is.

01:37:58.000 I had her opening jars on my show for me.

01:38:01.000 Oh, I bet she could do more than that. 1.00

01:38:03.000 It's weird to say she, because she's still clearly on male hormones.

01:38:08.000 Yeah.

01:38:08.000 Clearly.

01:38:09.000 We discussed that on there.

01:38:11.000 I think she took estrogen. 0.99

01:38:12.000 She did both, and it was kind of hard to get the balance right.

01:38:15.000 She still does both? 0.99

01:38:16.000 I'm not sure what she's currently running.

01:38:18.000 Why bother?

01:38:19.000 If she's competing as male, she's obviously going to be running tests at high levels. 0.98

01:38:22.000 Look at the size of her. 0.99

01:38:24.000 But that's smaller. 1.00

01:38:26.000 Dick or no dick? 1.00

01:38:27.000 Did you get to the bottom of it? 1.00

01:38:29.000 So what are we doing here?

01:38:30.000 Here's the thing.

01:38:31.000 Here's the thing.

01:38:32.000 Here's what I think.

01:38:33.000 If you are setting a world record in powerlifting, I will call you whatever you want, and I will respect you.

01:38:39.000 You don't think that's a major accomplishment?

01:38:41.000 Sure.

01:38:41.000 I don't care if you want to be a girl or a boy.

01:38:44.000 I'm cool with it, but it's just hilarious.

01:38:46.000 Still hilarious.

01:38:47.000 Okay.

01:38:47.000 Because it's a sign of the chaos of this moment in history.

01:38:51.000 I do love the chaos.

01:38:52.000 I know you do.

01:38:52.000 And tricksters historically have been gender fluid.

01:38:55.000 Loki and all these figures, the coyote, they always switch genders.

01:39:01.000 Yes.

01:39:02.000 That's a good point.

01:39:04.000 So maybe it's a sign of the chaos of our age that there's more transgenderism or intersex people. 1.00

01:39:09.000 Do you think there is or do you think people are just talking about it more?

01:39:12.000 I think it's – there's so many pluses and minuses and it's such a weird loaded situation and I don't – the other thing is if you are a guy who has feminine qualities, that doesn't make you non-binary.

01:39:30.000 Just like if you're like a tomboy, you're not non-binary. 0.99

01:39:33.000 Of course, yeah.

01:39:33.000 Yeah, of course.

01:39:34.000 I mean, there's butch women. 1.00

01:39:36.000 Yeah, they always happen. 0.98

01:39:37.000 Yeah, there's always been effeminate men.

01:39:39.000 Yeah, it doesn't mean you're... 0.89

01:39:41.000 But that's also a thing that really makes some gay activists angry.

01:39:46.000 Because they're like, if you leave children alone that have these feelings, there's a large percentage of them that become gay men.

01:39:54.000 And you're almost saying there's something wrong with being a gay man. 0.90

01:39:56.000 You have to become a woman. 1.00

01:39:58.000 It's almost an anti-gay stance to interfere. 0.67

01:40:02.000 The world capital of sex change is Tehran. 0.77

01:40:06.000 Do you know about this?

01:40:07.000 Yes, I do know about this.

01:40:08.000 Tell the story, though, because it's really interesting why they have to do that. 0.99

01:40:10.000 Right, because they regard homosexuality as depraved, but if you want to become a woman and have sex with men, that's fine. 0.96

01:40:16.000 So they make them, basically, have these sex changes. 0.95

01:40:19.000 Yeah, and a lot of them just don't really totally go all the way through with it.

01:40:22.000 Well, because they don't think of themselves as women. 1.00

01:40:24.000 They're like, I want to suck a dick. 1.00

01:40:24.000 I don't have a pussy. 1.00

01:40:25.000 So they pretend to be a woman, but they don't really get the operation. 1.00

01:40:28.000 Yeah.

01:40:29.000 But they're trying to force a lot of them into getting operations. 0.99

01:40:31.000 It's a fucked up place, like in the Middle East. 1.00

01:40:33.000 What do you think about this whole... 0.99

01:40:35.000 You're more informed than me about international issues.

01:40:38.000 I mean, for Christ's sakes, you went to North Korea.

01:40:40.000 You've never been?

01:40:42.000 Still?

01:40:42.000 No, still.

01:40:42.000 It's the new Milan.

01:40:44.000 That's what I heard.

01:40:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:40:46.000 What do you think about all this crazy shit that's going on right now with Iran? 1.00

01:40:50.000 I have a great book idea, and it's such a great book idea, I'm gonna just drop it here in the hopes that if I don't ever do it, someone does it. 0.79

01:40:58.000 Okay, so you give it away?

01:40:59.000 Yeah, I'm gonna give it away.

01:41:00.000 I hope somebody does this book.

01:41:01.000 A lot of people do it at the same time and sue each other. 0.99

01:41:03.000 It's my idea, bitch. 1.00

01:41:04.000 Or some publisher wants to contact my agent, just give me a deal on the spot, I'll do it. 0.99

01:41:08.000 Okay.

01:41:08.000 You'll do it.

01:41:09.000 I'll do it.

01:41:10.000 Someone's not telling anybody about it.

01:41:11.000 Well, I don't want to do the proposal, so if they want to just make me an offer, we're good.

01:41:15.000 Bloodlust, the media's love affair with war.

01:41:17.000 For a hundred years, Spanish-American war, William Randolph Hearst, right?

01:41:21.000 The sinking of the Lusitania.

01:41:23.000 We were taught about yellow journalism when we were kids.

01:41:26.000 Back, you know, 1903, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:41:28.000 But now, it's not...

01:41:30.000 They love war.

01:41:32.000 They can't get enough war.

01:41:33.000 Trump is only presidential when he's bombing Syria.

01:41:36.000 They just are desperate to push the war drums.

01:41:39.000 And what I love about, again, Tulsi, is she's served, and she's like, war...

01:41:44.000 We have to start seeing war as a last resort instead of a first priority and a first response. 0.72

01:41:51.000 And I don't know what's going to happen as a consequence of Iran. 0.89

01:41:54.000 This guy, as most people know, Soleimani, was a huge deal.

01:41:58.000 Like, he was really revered in Iran and very hated by people elsewhere.

01:42:03.000 But Trump also started killing other people.

01:42:05.000 And, like, Yemeni took somebody out, and some other countries, they're going on a killing spree. 1.00

01:42:09.000 So, I don't think this is going to be World War III at all, because Iran knows they can't win. 0.99

01:42:15.000 And I'm sure right now...

01:42:16.000 Yeah, but you know they're doing exercise right now with Russia and China.

01:42:18.000 Sure.

01:42:19.000 Sure.

01:42:20.000 We do exercises with South Korea every year and North Korea freaks out and it's like, okay, it's just flexing your muscles, right?

01:42:28.000 I think very strongly, we're never going to be privy to this, that there's a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes that we don't know, that people are talking and like, what's going to happen?

01:42:37.000 I'm sure.

01:42:38.000 Well, there must be.

01:42:39.000 But the idea that he was willing to just do that, and that he even has the call, that he can make the call.

01:42:46.000 Like, here's several options, sir.

01:42:48.000 Which one do you want to do? 1.00

01:42:49.000 I want to get that guy killed. 0.99

01:42:50.000 Well, I think it's amazing that we've gotten to the point where you're blowing up a wedding, right, and you're killing a lot of people, and you're killing just him and one other person. 0.99

01:42:58.000 Is that what they did?

01:42:59.000 Yeah, they only killed two people.

01:43:00.000 The precision of that is something that's got to be scary to the Iranians. 1.00

01:43:04.000 It should be scary to us.

01:43:05.000 It should be scary to us, yeah.

01:43:06.000 It should be scary to everybody because it's not like that can't come over to here.

01:43:10.000 Oh, what do you mean?

01:43:11.000 That kind of technology can't be used against Americans by another country.

01:43:15.000 It certainly could be.

01:43:16.000 Well, frankly, if they're going to be terrorists, I'd rather be taking out one person than 3,000.

01:43:20.000 No, no, for sure.

01:43:21.000 I'm just saying the precision of it.

01:43:22.000 The fact that they have that kind of ability.

01:43:25.000 Just the drone ability in general.

01:43:27.000 There's the ability to wage war in countries we don't even occupy.

01:43:30.000 Like all the different drone attacks in Yemen that are really sketchy in terms of the legality of it.

01:43:37.000 Like, what?

01:43:38.000 It's not really a military strike, but it's definitely a military strike.

01:43:41.000 I mean, I think we've been playing fast and loose with rules of war for a long time.

01:43:46.000 And I think everyone knows, this is nothing particularly insightful, that war and the rules of war are written by the powerful people.

01:43:53.000 I remember when people were talking about how much of a warmonger Obama was because drone strikes went up considerably from George Bush to Obama.

01:44:03.000 And I'm like, yeah, you know what else went up?

01:44:06.000 Drone technology.

01:44:07.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:44:09.000 It has almost nothing to do with it.

01:44:23.000 What do you think that is?

01:44:27.000 The question I have is, do you think, and I'll get my Alex Jones hat on, do you think that they sit you down when you're president and they're like, alright, here's what you can be in charge of, but here's how it's going to be internationally?

01:44:38.000 And I wouldn't be surprised if that's the way it happens.

01:44:41.000 I think there's no way, until you get into office, you ever really understand what information, what, you know, what...

01:44:52.000 What plans that they can reveal that terrorists have?

01:45:01.000 There's got to be some kind of intelligence they receive that probably scares the fuck out of them.

01:45:06.000 When you stop and think about how many nuclear bombs there are, how many radical terrorists there are, how many different sects, how many people fight over each other.

01:45:13.000 Here's some photographs of a crime scene that we found that ISIS behead all these kids.

01:45:19.000 This is all real stuff that they could show you.

01:45:22.000 And they go, look, we have done our very best to keep everybody safe, but there's only one way to keep doing this.

01:45:27.000 We've got a drone bomb.

01:45:28.000 Yeah.

01:45:29.000 I know that many years ago, and I'm not supposed to know this, but I'll be all...

01:45:35.000 Are you going to take something and reveal it?

01:45:37.000 There was a nail bomb in Grand Central that they caught.

01:45:40.000 And no one talked about it?

01:45:42.000 No one talked about it.

01:45:44.000 Who found the nail bomb?

01:45:45.000 The authorities, the right people.

01:45:47.000 And they took care of it and nothing happened.

01:45:49.000 But think how many soft targets there are.

01:45:51.000 And overseas.

01:45:52.000 Who put the nail bomb down?

01:45:54.000 Must have been what at the time?

01:45:56.000 Al-Qaeda, I'm guessing.

01:45:56.000 I don't know.

01:45:57.000 I don't have any further information.

01:45:59.000 I'm going to question you further.

01:46:00.000 You could question me all you want.

01:46:02.000 Michael, tell me the story again.

01:46:06.000 So there's this place, Grand Central, where the sky is backwards.

01:46:09.000 Have you been to Grand Central?

01:46:09.000 Of course.

01:46:10.000 Have you been to the spot where the bomb was left?

01:46:13.000 Probably.

01:46:13.000 How do you know where the bomb was left?

01:46:14.000 I don't know.

01:46:15.000 But since I've been throughout Grand Central, I probably was there.

01:46:17.000 You walked everywhere.

01:46:17.000 Okay.

01:46:18.000 Go ahead.

01:46:18.000 Tell me the story again from the beginning.

01:46:20.000 This is how they do it.

01:46:21.000 And they eventually get you to trip off.

01:46:22.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:46:23.000 Did you tell the same story over and over and over and over again? 1.00

01:46:25.000 You started adding shit to it. 1.00

01:46:26.000 You're probably nervous, worried about dying. 1.00

01:46:28.000 It's like scat, you know?

01:46:29.000 The words kind of change a little over time.

01:46:31.000 Yeah.

01:46:32.000 Yeah, but you just lie.

01:46:35.000 You know, if you're a guy who left a bomb, Grand Central Station, they just keep getting you to tell that story over and over again, and then you're exhausted.

01:46:41.000 And then they twist it around just a little bit, just a little bit for you, and then you agree with their twist, and they add a little more.

01:46:47.000 It was like Stalin's right-hand man, Barius, said, find me the man and I'll find you the crime.

01:46:53.000 That's a real scary thing about cross-examining people and just interrogating people.

01:47:01.000 I'm not saying that cops do this all the time, that they do get people to believe they did something wrong, but you can get someone to believe they did something wrong, especially if someone's limited intellectually.

01:47:12.000 Oh, yeah.

01:47:12.000 You can talk your way into an arrest, but you can't talk your way out of one.

01:47:15.000 Right.

01:47:16.000 And if they want you, there's an old line that a conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.

01:47:23.000 And a liberal is a conservative who's been arrested.

01:47:25.000 Because when you get in that government's clutches, you're going to be very glad that there's the ACLU and all these Miranda Rights people who are looking out for the weak and wanted as hard as possible for you to get arrested and go to jail.

01:47:36.000 Because think about this.

01:47:38.000 It's like being audited.

01:47:39.000 Is it ever going to be nice?

01:47:40.000 It's never going to be nice.

01:47:42.000 So getting arrested, it's not going to be, oh, we're sorry we bothered you, Mr. Smith.

01:47:46.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:47:47.000 Yeah, we're not your friendly country IRS. Right.

01:47:50.000 Oh, we're friendly.

01:47:51.000 We're just a country store IRS. Hey, I'm sure there's some sort of miscommunication.

01:47:56.000 We want to make sure this all works out well for everybody.

01:47:58.000 I just love that.

01:47:59.000 Here's a box of cookies.

01:48:00.000 I saw some meme where they're like, here's how the IRS works.

01:48:03.000 There's a number you owe.

01:48:05.000 They know that number.

01:48:06.000 They won't tell you the number.

01:48:08.000 You have to figure out the number.

01:48:09.000 And if the number you pay isn't the number that they have, they're going to get you in trouble.

01:48:14.000 Yeah.

01:48:14.000 They're just trying to prosecute as many people as they can.

01:48:18.000 It's like people that pull people over speeding.

01:48:21.000 You've got to prove that you didn't get pulled over speeding.

01:48:24.000 My Lyft driver at the airport was just paused.

01:48:29.000 I threw in my trunk, got in the car.

01:48:30.000 Within five seconds, the cop was writing him a ticket.

01:48:34.000 And I paid for half the ticket in the tip, and I couldn't believe it.

01:48:38.000 And the guy's like, oh, he's just doing his job. 0.98

01:48:42.000 I go, well, you've got a shitty job. 0.98

01:48:43.000 Like, what kind of person are you that this is what you do? 0.98

01:48:46.000 You're writing a $75 ticket for someone who's like a Lyft driver.

01:48:49.000 And he's not even blocking traffic.

01:48:52.000 He's not stopping anywhere. 1.00

01:48:54.000 You're a horrible human being. 1.00

01:48:56.000 Well, they have quotas. 1.00

01:48:57.000 That's a real problem.

01:48:58.000 Quotas are gross.

01:48:59.000 I've talked to cops and they have a certain number of tickets that they have to write every month or they're going to get in trouble.

01:49:07.000 Yes!

01:49:08.000 To protect and serve.

01:49:10.000 What kind of servant is telling me to pay them money I don't want to pay?

01:49:13.000 It's an officer of the peace stealing money.

01:49:14.000 Yes!

01:49:15.000 It's horrible.

01:49:15.000 This is how they keep the peace.

01:49:16.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:49:17.000 Keep you scared.

01:49:18.000 Yeah.

01:49:19.000 Don't get Russian started on the cops. 0.96

01:49:21.000 It's not going to end well. 0.99

01:49:22.000 What do you think about all the Hong Kong shit, then? 0.99

01:49:24.000 I am so hopeful for the people of Hong Kong. 0.99

01:49:28.000 And I talk about it on my show Nightshade constantly.

01:49:31.000 My hope is it reminds me of...

01:49:35.000 We're good to go.

01:50:00.000 That, well, what if we win all the elections?

01:50:03.000 Because they ask the people, who are you going to vote for?

01:50:04.000 Oh, the communists, the communists, the communists.

01:50:06.000 The elections happen.

01:50:07.000 The labor, solidarity wins every seat except one.

01:50:11.000 And the question is, are they going to honor this?

01:50:14.000 Are they going to wave it away?

01:50:15.000 They honored it.

01:50:16.000 And that was the beginning of the end of the Soviet Union.

01:50:19.000 I don't think you could have Tiananmen Square today.

01:50:22.000 Because Tiananmen Square was before smartphones.

01:50:24.000 Tiananmen Square was before the internet.

01:50:26.000 There's no footage.

01:50:27.000 Tank man wasn't killed.

01:50:28.000 He was pulled away.

01:50:30.000 Hong Kong, we're seeing the footage.

01:50:32.000 And when you see kids getting beaten and tear gassed, you don't need to speak any language to look at and be like, something's not right here.

01:50:40.000 And to side with the people who are getting beaten.

01:50:42.000 This is a very Martin Luther King thing.

01:50:43.000 Like, even the racists were like, I don't want these people to have dogs attacking them in water hoses.

01:50:48.000 This is outrageous.

01:50:49.000 Hmm.

01:50:50.000 Yeah.

01:50:51.000 So I'm very, very hopeful this is going to work positively to start the end of the evil Chinese dictatorship. 0.99

01:50:59.000 I hope you're right.

01:51:00.000 I hope you're right.

01:51:01.000 And that would also work towards liberating North Korea, which is obviously my pet issue.

01:51:05.000 Do you think that it's possible for China to ever turn it around, though? 0.96

01:51:09.000 Forget about Hong Kong, but mainland China?

01:51:11.000 Turn what around?

01:51:12.000 Turn what around in terms of their whole dictatorship?

01:51:15.000 Oh, yeah.

01:51:16.000 Russia did it. 0.85

01:51:16.000 The Soviet Union did it. 0.85

01:51:17.000 But did they?

01:51:19.000 Yes.

01:51:20.000 Did they?

01:51:20.000 Yes.

01:51:20.000 Are you a puppet of Putin as well?

01:51:22.000 He's my uncle.

01:51:25.000 I mean, they kind of did it, but they're kind of a dictatorship right now.

01:51:30.000 You can get a passport.

01:51:32.000 You're not going to get your organs harvested.

01:51:34.000 You know who got a passport?

01:51:35.000 Who?

01:51:35.000 Roy Jones Jr. Who's that?

01:51:37.000 Roy Jones Jr., who's that? 1.00

01:51:38.000 Who the fuck are you, man? 1.00

01:51:39.000 I'm a piece of shit who's never watched and snatched. 1.00

01:51:42.000 Dude. 1.00

01:51:43.000 Roy Jones Jr. is one of the greatest boxers of all time.

01:51:48.000 Okay.

01:51:48.000 He won the super middleweight championship, went up to light heavyweight and heavyweight.

01:51:54.000 Okay.

01:51:54.000 He beat John Ruiz to win the heavyweight championship, a guy who fought at 168 pounds.

01:51:59.000 Okay.

01:51:59.000 He's a beast.

01:52:00.000 Okay, sure. 0.82

01:52:01.000 He's one of the greatest of all time.

01:52:03.000 And he also has a Russian passport.

01:52:06.000 Okay.

01:52:06.000 Holla.

01:52:07.000 Okay, that's awesome.

01:52:08.000 But the point is people can leave Russia.

01:52:10.000 People can't leave China. 0.88

01:52:11.000 And now they're going in a bad direction with North Korea instituting their social credit system to control internal migration, which is really, really bad.

01:52:18.000 What do you think about...

01:52:22.000 People being able to go back and forth.

01:52:27.000 What do you think about travel back and forth from Russia into the United States?

01:52:31.000 I mean, they must be watching every single thing you do.

01:52:34.000 I don't think it's as pervasive.

01:52:36.000 Listen, you know what?

01:52:37.000 They're watching everything we do here.

01:52:39.000 You're right.

01:52:40.000 Come on.

01:52:41.000 What do you think about Snowden being over there?

01:52:42.000 I think Ed Snowden should be allowed to walk free.

01:52:46.000 I think so, too.

01:52:47.000 I mean, it's insane that we drove him into the hands of the Soviet Union.

01:52:51.000 And what he was exposing was illegal activity by elected officials.

01:52:57.000 Stalin, in his wildest dreams and his KGB, never had that power of surveillance like Ed Snowden revealed, that every single cell phone is being hacked into.

01:53:07.000 Aren't they recording literally every call?

01:53:08.000 I mean, it's...

01:53:10.000 And we just sit and we're like, oh, this is fine.

01:53:11.000 Tracking...

01:53:12.000 It's just the level of...

01:53:14.000 Talk about right to privacy.

01:53:15.000 The level of surveillance that this government is putting forward is insane.

01:53:20.000 It is crazy.

01:53:21.000 And remember when Obama was confronted about it?

01:53:22.000 He's like, just metadata?

01:53:24.000 No worries?

01:53:25.000 Yeah, it's fine.

01:53:25.000 Just trust us.

01:53:26.000 Just metadata?

01:53:27.000 Yeah.

01:53:28.000 We're just collecting metadata.

01:53:29.000 And Snow was like, no, no, no, I was reading people's emails.

01:53:33.000 Right.

01:53:33.000 Yeah, we all read emails.

01:53:35.000 And there was some report, I forget her name, like they were deleting, she was on her computer and you could see the file being deleted right in front of her.

01:53:40.000 She took a video with her camera.

01:53:43.000 Yeah, because she was breaking this stuff.

01:53:45.000 Of course.

01:53:47.000 Listen, if 4chan can get into your, that hacker 4chan can get into your computer, they can.

01:53:51.000 Of course they can.

01:53:52.000 And of course they do.

01:53:54.000 I mean, it's...

01:53:55.000 Do you think about that before you Google things?

01:53:57.000 Oh, that ship has sailed.

01:53:59.000 Oh, that's going to be a problem.

01:54:01.000 Oh, that's going to be a problem.

01:54:02.000 Oh, no.

01:54:03.000 Oh, no.

01:54:04.000 Oh, no.

01:54:05.000 That's another one.

01:54:06.000 You ever go to...

01:54:07.000 I sometimes...

01:54:08.000 I'll wake up in the middle of the night and go on Etsy or Wikipedia and you wake up and you're like, oh, yeah, I forgot I was going down that rabbit hole while I was in the middle of the night just looking up random things. 0.92

01:54:18.000 No, I don't fuck with my computer at night at all. 0.97

01:54:20.000 Really? 0.99

01:54:21.000 Yeah.

01:54:22.000 Why is that?

01:54:22.000 Because it's not good for your brain.

01:54:24.000 Okay.

01:54:25.000 I like to wind down at the end of the night.

01:54:30.000 I'll occasionally check an email.

01:54:32.000 What time do you go to bed?

01:54:33.000 Depends.

01:54:34.000 If I'm performing, it's usually not until midnight-ish, maybe later, usually later.

01:54:39.000 If it's on a Saturday night, like this Saturday night, I had a 10.45 spot, so I wasn't eating it.

01:54:45.000 The show runs usually a little bit late.

01:54:47.000 I don't think I went on until like 11. I was offstage like 11.15-ish.

01:54:52.000 And hung out with my friends, so I didn't get out of there until 1. I didn't get home until 2. That's pretty normal for the comedy store.

01:54:59.000 And then I usually always write, too, when I come home.

01:55:02.000 Huh.

01:55:02.000 Yeah.

01:55:03.000 It's usually my favorite time to write.

01:55:05.000 Everybody in the house is asleep.

01:55:06.000 I'm a little high.

01:55:07.000 You know, pull out the laptop, start writing.

01:55:10.000 You seem like a guy who uses Windows.

01:55:12.000 Correct.

01:55:13.000 Ah!

01:55:14.000 I knew it!

01:55:15.000 Yes.

01:55:15.000 Use it.

01:55:16.000 Android phone?

01:55:16.000 Correct.

01:55:17.000 Ah!

01:55:18.000 Ha! 0.89

01:55:19.000 Ha! 0.89

01:55:20.000 I used to do tech support in Windows on Microsoft Office.

01:55:25.000 I use Windows for writing a lot because Lenovo's keyboards are superior for a laptop.

01:55:33.000 Wait, what does a guy who uses Windows mean?

01:55:35.000 What does that mean?

01:55:36.000 With you?

01:55:37.000 Yeah.

01:55:38.000 Oh, you're a contrarian in a lot of ways.

01:55:40.000 But they're the most popular, aren't they?

01:55:41.000 Yeah, but not amongst creatives or people in show business.

01:55:44.000 Oh, okay.

01:55:45.000 You're kind of both of those.

01:55:46.000 Sure, that's fair.

01:55:46.000 Okay.

01:55:47.000 You're fighting the trend. 0.99

01:55:49.000 But use some of the guy, even if it was better, you would use it just to tell everybody to fuck off? 1.00

01:55:55.000 A little bit. 0.99

01:55:56.000 That would play into my calculus.

01:55:58.000 Have you ever thought about going Linux?

01:56:00.000 No.

01:56:01.000 I don't even know what that is, really.

01:56:02.000 You don't know what Linux is?

01:56:03.000 Not really.

01:56:04.000 I know it's an operating system, but I wouldn't know how to convert to that.

01:56:06.000 I don't think it's that hard anymore.

01:56:08.000 I think the kernels that they have now, you can sort of install them on a regular Windows machine.

01:56:12.000 You might even be able to dual boot.

01:56:13.000 Okay.

01:56:14.000 Can you dual boot with a Linux machine?

01:56:16.000 Rebooting my computer is like the most scary part of my day, so I really don't like doing that.

01:56:21.000 Lenovo's keyboards are so superior, and that's why I write on Windows.

01:56:25.000 Their keyboards, like the ThinkPad keyboard, is so superior to anything Apple has.

01:56:31.000 The touch, all of them have a half-moon shape to them.

01:56:36.000 What would you describe that as?

01:56:38.000 What do you mean?

01:56:39.000 Semi-circle?

01:56:42.000 Concave, I guess.

01:56:44.000 You know where every finger goes.

01:56:46.000 And it's so easy to type that it's less effort.

01:56:49.000 You don't think about it as much.

01:56:50.000 It's far superior.

01:56:52.000 Plus, it's like a plastic.

01:56:53.000 It's carbon.

01:56:54.000 I have an X1 carbon, so everything has a soft feel to it.

01:56:58.000 It's more comfortable to type on.

01:56:59.000 People go for the Apple industrial look.

01:57:01.000 I have an Apple laptop.

01:57:03.000 I have another one, a new one.

01:57:06.000 They're just not as good.

01:57:07.000 The typing experience, like getting a thought down onto a Word file, right?

01:57:13.000 You can do that better with a better keyboard.

01:57:15.000 It's just that simple.

01:57:16.000 And the fact that somehow or another we've gone for looks, for this aesthetic, this sort of modern, industrial, aluminum piece aesthetic over what's more effective is very strange to me.

01:57:30.000 My keyboard looks like a typewriter because I'm a hipster.

01:57:34.000 What do you mean?

01:57:34.000 It's like typewriter keys, and it clacks.

01:57:37.000 Really?

01:57:37.000 Yeah.

01:57:37.000 Oh, a round one.

01:57:38.000 I have one of those.

01:57:39.000 It's a mechanical keyboard.

01:57:41.000 Yeah.

01:57:41.000 Yeah, I have that.

01:57:42.000 It lights up, so it's really fun.

01:57:44.000 But also, you can feel where every key is.

01:57:46.000 Yes, it's concave.

01:57:46.000 It's just like what you're saying.

01:57:47.000 That's so big, man.

01:57:49.000 It's fun.

01:57:49.000 But this is like, everybody wants the thinnest possible laptop, so you have these real short travel keys.

01:57:55.000 And you don't know when you're typing.

01:57:56.000 Yeah.

01:57:56.000 Yeah, it's not good.

01:57:57.000 It's like, did everybody forget what a fucking keyboard's for? 1.00

01:58:00.000 It's like, are you such a bitch you can't even carry something that's a half an inch thicker? 1.00

01:58:04.000 Get the fuck out of here, man. 1.00

01:58:05.000 This is nonsense. 1.00

01:58:06.000 Like, you're making things thin for no reason.

01:58:09.000 Like, it looks even cool.

01:58:11.000 Look how thin it is.

01:58:12.000 I'm in the future.

01:58:12.000 Yeah, you're in the future where you can't type.

01:58:14.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.93

01:58:15.000 Let's go back in the past or you can write something down that's memorable. 0.99

01:58:18.000 I'm back in the past.

01:58:19.000 I'm on my typewriter.

01:58:19.000 Good for you.

01:58:20.000 And I love it.

01:58:21.000 Click, click, click, click, click.

01:58:22.000 It's fun at night.

01:58:23.000 Yeah, click, click, click, click.

01:58:24.000 Yeah, I have a mechanical keyboard on my desktop, and it sounds good.

01:58:29.000 Right.

01:58:30.000 To me, that's kind of like I feel like I'm producing.

01:58:33.000 Yes, but it's just so easy to know where the keys are.

01:58:35.000 Right.

01:58:36.000 There's no mistakes.

01:58:37.000 Like, I had one of those 15-inch Retina Macs, and when I would write on it, it's like, geez, everything's flat.

01:58:43.000 There's a really short, like half a millimeter of key travel, so it's like click, click, click, click.

01:58:49.000 You make so many typos.

01:58:51.000 Right.

01:58:51.000 I make literally half the typos on a Lenovo keyboard.

01:58:54.000 Yeah, I love my keyboard.

01:58:56.000 It's awesome, and I enjoy it.

01:58:59.000 Do you run virus scans and all kinds of shit, and do you cover your webcam with tape when you're beaten off?

01:59:04.000 Yeah. 0.93

01:59:06.000 I should start doing that.

01:59:07.000 I do run buyer scams.

01:59:09.000 I do not cover my webcam with tape when I'm being there.

01:59:12.000 You wonder. 1.00

01:59:13.000 Some fucking four-can trolls in there. 1.00

01:59:15.000 Let them watch. 1.00

01:59:16.000 Maybe they get an alert whenever you porn gets pulled up in your browser like ding [...

01:59:21.000 They're in their parents' house.

01:59:23.000 Their mom and dad are screaming at each other, drunken slurs, and they hear ding ding ding ding ding. 0.99

01:59:28.000 Oh, excuse me, Michael Malice is jerking off. 0.99

01:59:29.000 I've got to go! 0.98

01:59:30.000 And they run down the basement, bolt the door shut.

01:59:33.000 They're going to see quite a show.

01:59:35.000 Imagine. 0.99

01:59:36.000 Imagine if they found a guy dead because he was so excited to beat off, watching you beat off, that he tripped, fallen down the stairs and broke his neck, pants half down, and the cops break in to find out what the fuck's going on, and it's you jerking off on a webcam, and this guy's dead with his neck snapped at the bottom of the stairs, 0.99

01:59:53.000 his pants half down. 0.99

01:59:54.000 Well, given how many people jerk off to watching me jerk off, statistically, that's going to happen at some point. 0.99

01:59:58.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 0.98

01:59:59.000 Would you be excited?

02:00:00.000 Yes.

02:00:01.000 Would you?

02:00:02.000 Yeah.

02:00:02.000 That's awesome.

02:00:03.000 I'd be like, that guy went out with a bang.

02:00:05.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:00:05.000 Like, my cum killed him. 0.99

02:00:08.000 For sure there's people right now looking through, like perverts, looking through somehow or another, getting through a webcam and watching someone. 0.99

02:00:15.000 Oh, of course.

02:00:16.000 For sure.

02:00:17.000 Of course.

02:00:17.000 And especially people who work for the government.

02:00:19.000 They talked about that.

02:00:20.000 I thought this was exposed.

02:00:21.000 Fascinating, though, that they can do that.

02:00:23.000 They're like, there's a little wind.

02:00:27.000 Listen, if you have a window into my life, it's the opposite of fascinating, I assure you.

02:00:34.000 I'm about five minutes away from being Terry Schiavo.

02:00:38.000 What is this?

02:00:38.000 Employees at Amazon's ring have been spying on customers.

02:00:41.000 There's videos around Christmas where people were just getting on their cameras talking to the kids.

02:00:45.000 Like, hey, I'm Santa.

02:00:46.000 Go tell your parents to this.

02:00:47.000 There's lots of them. 1.00

02:00:49.000 There's so much fucked up shit. 1.00

02:00:51.000 I've heard that. 1.00

02:00:52.000 That they were actually talking to people through the device.

02:00:55.000 And that one guy was terrorizing some woman.

02:00:58.000 He was telling her he was going to kill her through the device.

02:01:01.000 Oh, my God. 0.94

02:01:02.000 That's a crime.

02:01:04.000 Yeah.

02:01:05.000 Yeah.

02:01:06.000 Captain obvious.

02:01:07.000 Jesus Christ.

02:01:08.000 Oh, I got to upgrade.

02:01:09.000 I'm a captain now.

02:01:11.000 I used to be private obvious.

02:01:16.000 I messed with my friend really bad.

02:01:18.000 There's something called like the annoying thing.

02:01:20.000 I forget what it's called.

02:01:21.000 And you said it and it goes...

02:01:24.000 And it goes off at random times.

02:01:26.000 So I put it under her bed and I forgot. 1.00

02:01:28.000 And then the next morning I get a text that just goes, idiot. 0.99

02:01:33.000 I'm like, oh, yeah. 1.00

02:01:34.000 She's like, well, now you know you're an idiot because you terrified me. 1.00

02:01:37.000 Hey, hey. 1.00

02:01:39.000 Do you worry about apps, like Android apps, being corrupted?

02:01:43.000 Like, they apparently don't have a stringent of testing.

02:01:46.000 I don't have that many apps, and I'm much more of a desktop person.

02:01:49.000 I'm not on my phone that much, because I'm like a recluse.

02:01:52.000 Are you still a recluse?

02:01:53.000 Why don't you get out? 0.90

02:01:54.000 Do what?

02:01:55.000 Outside is scary.

02:01:56.000 Get out and meet people.

02:01:57.000 I don't ever meet anyone, and I don't know where to go to meet people.

02:02:00.000 Aww.

02:02:01.000 Dude, this sounds like a Christmas movie.

02:02:03.000 Hanukkah movie.

02:02:04.000 We're going to find out how to fix you.

02:02:06.000 There's going to be eight days.

02:02:08.000 Seven days we fail.

02:02:09.000 Yeah, we'll try to fix you.

02:02:09.000 And then the eighth day, yeah.

02:02:11.000 Let's get Adam Sandler on board.

02:02:13.000 Adam produces.

02:02:14.000 Yeah, Adam.

02:02:15.000 Adam.

02:02:15.000 You really don't go out?

02:02:17.000 I don't know.

02:02:18.000 No.

02:02:19.000 I also don't get along with most people.

02:02:23.000 I don't believe that because you're easy to get along with.

02:02:26.000 That's confusing to me.

02:02:27.000 But they're not easy to get along with.

02:02:29.000 I think a lot of people are basic as hell and they don't bring anything to the conversation.

02:02:33.000 There's a lot of that.

02:02:34.000 Yeah.

02:02:34.000 Yeah, you got to find better people to hang out with.

02:02:36.000 You know how you do that?

02:02:37.000 You go outside.

02:02:37.000 Jesus, bro.

02:02:38.000 I have a good crew.

02:02:40.000 So listen, I'll tell you this.

02:02:42.000 My friend Matt, the one who was molested, we had Friendsgiving. 0.87

02:02:45.000 And I said, Matt, you have a unique opportunity to make this the most awkward Thanksgiving in history.

02:02:51.000 These people all like you.

02:02:52.000 They're your friends.

02:02:53.000 Sit down and tell them that this happened.

02:02:56.000 And he's like, I can't do it.

02:02:57.000 I go, okay, how about this?

02:02:59.000 I'll do it.

02:02:59.000 If I do it against your will, I wouldn't really be wrong given this story.

02:03:04.000 He's like, dude, I didn't do it.

02:03:05.000 But it would have been funny.

02:03:07.000 He's got a dark sense of humor about this.

02:03:09.000 A small amount of time would have been funny.

02:03:11.000 And then he would have had to just deal with the weight of all these people.

02:03:14.000 Which is also funny.

02:03:18.000 Maybe you should stay as a recluse.

02:03:20.000 I take that back.

02:03:21.000 I think you're doing good at it.

02:03:23.000 I do, okay.

02:03:24.000 You might be one of the only dudes who's mastered it.

02:03:26.000 Yeah, me and the Unabomber.

02:03:28.000 It's your calling.

02:03:29.000 Yeah, to never be around other humans.

02:03:31.000 Do you know what happened to the Unabomber? 0.95

02:03:32.000 Do you know how that happened?

02:03:33.000 The brother?

02:03:33.000 Yeah.

02:03:34.000 Because he was a pedantic.

02:03:37.000 Oh yeah, it was that.

02:03:38.000 But it was also the Unabomber himself.

02:03:41.000 Ted Kaczynski was a part of the Harvard LST studies.

02:03:44.000 Was he?

02:03:44.000 Yeah, they cooked his brain.

02:03:46.000 Wow.

02:03:46.000 Yeah, there's a documentary about it called The Net.

02:03:48.000 Someone wrote a great tweet where they go, Plot twist, Greta Thunberg grows up to become the Unabomber in a redemption arc. 0.99

02:03:54.000 I'm like, that is hilarious.

02:03:56.000 Because he was a violent environmentalist.

02:03:59.000 And a very bright man.

02:04:00.000 He's a professor at Berkeley. 0.94

02:04:01.000 So he went to school at Harvard, they put him in the Harvard LST studies, they cooked his fucking dome, and then he disappeared, went to Berkeley, worked as a professor to earn enough money so he could buy a cabin and implement his plan to kill everybody who was involved in technology so he'd stop this takeover of the human race, 0.96

02:04:22.000 which probably is true. 0.89

02:04:23.000 Yeah.

02:04:24.000 John Waters, the director, he has a replica of the Unabomber's cabin as a room in his house.

02:04:30.000 Isn't that great?

02:04:31.000 I love that.

02:04:31.000 Who's got the real cabin?

02:04:33.000 Oh, that's a good question.

02:04:34.000 It was at a museum, I think, that actually just closed, so I don't know where it's going to go now.

02:04:38.000 There was a museum called the Newseum in D.C. I think it just closed.

02:04:42.000 Traveling exhibit.

02:04:43.000 Wait, they took the whole cabin and reconstructed it?

02:04:46.000 I've seen pictures of it, yeah.

02:04:47.000 We need to find it.

02:04:49.000 Wow, that's really cool.

02:04:50.000 We need to find it.

02:04:51.000 I love stuff like that.

02:04:52.000 I do, too.

02:04:53.000 I did an article years ago about all these relics.

02:04:55.000 Like, where's Monica Lewinsky's dress? 1.00

02:04:57.000 And, like, she's got it hidden somewhere.

02:05:00.000 Do you think she does?

02:05:00.000 Yeah, the article, people did research.

02:05:02.000 She still has it somewhere.

02:05:03.000 Oh, my God.

02:05:04.000 What a nightmare for poor Bill. 1.00

02:05:06.000 You get your dick sucked in 94, and this lady's still carrying that jizz-stained dress. 1.00

02:05:11.000 Like, Jesus Christ, lady, let it go. 1.00

02:05:14.000 He's probably, well, she's probably throwing it away by now.

02:05:17.000 No!

02:05:17.000 No, Bill.

02:05:18.000 Never!

02:05:21.000 Never!

02:05:23.000 Listen, oh wow.

02:05:25.000 Wow.

02:05:26.000 I thought that was a replica.

02:05:29.000 I mean, it says it was it, and it closed last week, so I don't know where it's at.

02:05:34.000 Wow.

02:05:34.000 That is amazing.

02:05:35.000 They closed last week?

02:05:36.000 I missed it by a week?

02:05:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:05:38.000 Shit! 1.00

02:05:39.000 That could have been out here, bro. 1.00

02:05:40.000 That would probably be an expensive buy.

02:05:43.000 Probably like me and Marilyn Manson auctioning against each other.

02:05:48.000 I guess we're just going to have to mail someone a bomb.

02:05:50.000 He would probably buy it.

02:05:51.000 Who, Manson?

02:05:52.000 Yeah.

02:05:52.000 Is that the manifesto?

02:05:54.000 That's the original? 0.98

02:05:56.000 Holy crap. 0.65

02:05:57.000 That's dark. 0.96

02:05:58.000 Everyone tells me to read it.

02:05:59.000 I haven't read it, but they said it's very smart.

02:06:01.000 I read parts of it.

02:06:03.000 That's one of the things that's disturbing.

02:06:04.000 It's just like well thought out.

02:06:06.000 And also, the argument is sound.

02:06:09.000 Technology will inevitably lead to better technology, which inevitably leads to artificial intelligence, which is inevitably going to take over the world.

02:06:18.000 Well, there's that whole singularity thing, right?

02:06:20.000 What's it, Ray Kurzweil?

02:06:21.000 Kurzweil.

02:06:22.000 And I don't know, I haven't checked in years, but I don't know if we're on track with what he predicted.

02:06:25.000 I think we're supposed to be further along, because remember in the 50s there were going to be flying cars and there's no flying cars?

02:06:29.000 Yeah.

02:06:30.000 He's a 2045 guy, and what he says is that the exponential increase of technology, if you follow it to the prediction is somewhere in the neighborhood of 2045, they'll achieve this singularity.

02:06:42.000 Yeah, but I think they're also finding now that there actually is somewhat asymptotic, and at a certain point you are having physical limitations to increasing the speed, and it's not going to be that easy.

02:06:50.000 Yeah, well then quantum supremacy comes along.

02:06:53.000 Do you know they're trying to change the name of quantum supremacy because it confuses people with white supremacy and we really shouldn't support that.

02:06:59.000 So we need to change quantum supremacy.

02:07:01.000 They also, they had, was it IBM or whatever, had the quantum computer and the other people were like, this isn't really quantum because it's blah blah blah blah blah.

02:07:08.000 This was a big controversy just in last month.

02:07:10.000 I found its new location.

02:07:12.000 After the Montana Historical Society tried to get it, it now exists at this fun place.

02:07:18.000 The FBI experience?

02:07:20.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

02:07:22.000 They own it.

02:07:22.000 So there's like a new museum.

02:07:23.000 Inter-divisional cooperation.

02:07:25.000 FBI. Just a propaganda house.

02:07:28.000 Wow.

02:07:30.000 So he was in Montana when he was blowing everybody up.

02:07:33.000 Yeah, someone tried to buy the land, I guess, or it was for sale at one time.

02:07:38.000 Whoever runs this museum tried to get a hold of it, and I guess the FBI said, we're going to keep it.

02:07:44.000 Yeah, I can understand why they would want to, right?

02:07:47.000 Of course, yeah.

02:07:49.000 Wow.

02:07:49.000 It's probably very valuable.

02:07:50.000 People probably will go to the FBI museum specifically just to see that cabin.

02:07:54.000 No one wants to go to the FBI museum otherwise.

02:07:56.000 Would you go to the FBI museum?

02:07:58.000 No.

02:07:58.000 His brother suspect that he was doing it all along before the manifesto, or did he read the manifesto?

02:08:05.000 Well, because the Unabomber, as a kid, was always annoyed by people saying you could have your cake and eat it too.

02:08:11.000 Because he's like, no, no, no, you can eat your cake and have it too.

02:08:15.000 And the Unabomber used that phrase, air quotes correctly, and the guy's like, that's my brother! 0.99

02:08:21.000 And that's how they figured it out, because he was being a pedantic dick. 0.98

02:08:25.000 Yeah, so everyone who's correcting people and spelling on Twitter, shut up and relax. 1.00

02:08:30.000 Oh, that's crazy.

02:08:30.000 I thought he just recognized the style of writing.

02:08:33.000 No, I mean, double-check me, but I'm 90% sure this is correct.

02:08:37.000 You're saying that now that...

02:08:37.000 Eat your cake and have it, too.

02:08:39.000 It's actually ringing a bell.

02:08:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:08:41.000 Goddamn. 0.99

02:08:43.000 But imagine, like, if he was a normal guy, and they just filled him up with acid, and it made him say, Oh, my God, the technology's gonna take over! 0.99

02:08:51.000 And he's just started...

02:08:52.000 His... 1.00

02:08:55.000 Calling in life is to kill the people. 1.00

02:08:57.000 They're advancing technology with bombs. 0.99

02:08:59.000 When you're that smart, you're already kind of tripping.

02:09:02.000 Because regular people don't seem like the same thing as you do. 0.98

02:09:06.000 Right.

02:09:07.000 And maybe a little schizophrenic. 1.00

02:09:09.000 And then they fill them up with a fucking half a gallon of... 1.00

02:09:12.000 Acid. 0.99

02:09:12.000 How much did they give them, do you know? 0.99

02:09:14.000 Who knows?

02:09:14.000 They were experimenting with people.

02:09:15.000 I'm sure it's not going to be small doses.

02:09:17.000 Do you know what Operation Midnight Climax is?

02:09:19.000 No. 0.98

02:09:19.000 It's one of my favorite fucked up CIA experiments they ever did. 0.98

02:09:23.000 They went to brothels. 0.99

02:09:26.000 And they set up a brothel with all these prostitutes and these Johns and they dosed all the guys and used hidden cameras. 0.94

02:09:36.000 And do you know what else?

02:09:37.000 Because the guys couldn't talk about it.

02:09:39.000 Because like, what happened to you, Harry?

02:09:41.000 Somebody gave me a Mickey.

02:09:42.000 They slipped me a Mickey and I had a bad time.

02:09:45.000 Where'd this happen, Harry?

02:09:47.000 Oh, I don't know.

02:09:48.000 I guess I was at the diner or something. 1.00

02:09:50.000 You can't say, I went to the whorehouse to try to get my dick sucked and they gave me acid, these assholes. 1.00

02:09:55.000 You can't say that. 1.00

02:09:56.000 And we've been trained since kindergarten that if someone says the CIA has experimented on regular people, they will tell you, and admitted it, They will tell you with a straight face that that's a conspiracy theory.

02:10:22.000 Epstein was a conspiracy.

02:10:23.000 He was conspiring with a lot of people.

02:10:26.000 Weinstein, Bill Cosby, these are all conspiracies that are widely known, but as soon as you hear that term, like racist, oh, conversation's over.

02:10:33.000 I don't need to hear anything else.

02:10:34.000 It's amazing.

02:10:35.000 Oh, you believe in conspiracy theories?

02:10:37.000 Oh, yeah.

02:10:38.000 What, 9-11 didn't happen?

02:10:39.000 Come on.

02:10:40.000 Yeah.

02:10:40.000 We were talking in the last podcast about Epstein, and we looked at some of the autopsy photos and looked at some of the The accounts, particularly Dr. Michael Badden, the guy from the HBO autopsy show.

02:10:56.000 He's like, that guy got murdered.

02:10:57.000 I got a question.

02:10:58.000 Why is there no perp walk photos?

02:11:01.000 Why is there no photos of him in court?

02:11:03.000 Why is there no photos of him getting off the plane?

02:11:05.000 I have no answer, but isn't that weird?

02:11:07.000 It is weird.

02:11:08.000 Every other person who's arrested, you see the perp walker. 0.53

02:11:11.000 Yeah, including El Chapo.

02:11:13.000 Including El Chapo, including Harvey Weinstein, literally everybody, you've got footage.

02:11:17.000 The media knows where to wait.

02:11:19.000 Right.

02:11:19.000 Why is there no footage of him?

02:11:20.000 What the fuck? 0.99

02:11:21.000 I don't have an answer. 1.00

02:11:22.000 And the thing is to even say this is weird, conspiracy theory.

02:11:26.000 No, literally, tell me what I'm missing.

02:11:28.000 Well, here's where it gets even weirder.

02:11:29.000 You know that he was visited while he was in jail by women?

02:11:33.000 And he'd have his assistant come to visit him in jail?

02:11:37.000 I did not know this.

02:11:38.000 Oh, yeah.

02:11:39.000 16 hours a day, he'd get to hang out in the special room where they would buy out all of the pot machines and snacks, all of them.

02:11:49.000 And he'd just get to sit there and hang out.

02:11:50.000 Wow.

02:11:51.000 16 hours a day.

02:11:53.000 So they were somehow or another either negotiating with him, or they were placating him, or they were trying to resolve this issue peacefully.

02:12:03.000 They were trying to figure out a way.

02:12:04.000 Like, this guy knew too many people and wasn't talking.

02:12:07.000 And while he wasn't talking, they were trying to, like, desperately get to him, I would assume.

02:12:11.000 And stop him from potentially talking.

02:12:14.000 And then while the prosecutor's closing in, while they're making this airtight case, and the only way for him to make anything more lenient is to start singing, baby.

02:12:24.000 La, la, la, la.

02:12:26.000 That's probably in his jail cell at night.

02:12:28.000 La, la, [...

02:12:30.000 There he is.

02:12:31.000 Supposedly.

02:12:32.000 Remember all those files that he had with all the people?

02:12:35.000 Where'd they go?

02:12:36.000 No one's asking.

02:12:37.000 Jamie's gone.

02:12:37.000 You got him?

02:12:38.000 No, I mean, some on the FBI, New York PD. But we're not hearing anything about it.

02:12:42.000 He's got names of many people. 0.99

02:12:44.000 Not just names, but videotapes of dudes fucking kids. 0.98

02:12:49.000 It's just, this is classic conspiracy theory proven true. 0.99

02:12:55.000 It's a classic conspiracy theory.

02:12:55.000 Because we all saw it coming.

02:12:57.000 But this is a classic conspiracy theory, that there's a guy who works for an intelligence agency who compromises wealthy and famous and even intellectuals, famous people, and then takes these people and brings them to an island where he brings in a bunch of girls that are underage and they all fuck, 0.97

02:13:13.000 and then he films it. 0.94

02:13:14.000 He'd be like, what are you even talking about?

02:13:17.000 Right, but this is all true.

02:13:18.000 Do you think that's real?

02:13:19.000 What about the fact that he's number two?

02:13:20.000 She's like in Israel or something, isn't she?

02:13:22.000 She's not been arrested.

02:13:23.000 She's in Brazil.

02:13:23.000 Brazil, okay.

02:13:24.000 Yeah.

02:13:24.000 She's not arrested.

02:13:25.000 How's that happening?

02:13:27.000 How is Prince Philip not arrested?

02:13:29.000 Yeah, how is she wandering around?

02:13:31.000 Yeah.

02:13:31.000 Like, how have they not whacked her?

02:13:33.000 Right.

02:13:33.000 Well, they had...

02:13:34.000 It's not right, but that part of the deal he made the first time was that he had, I think, at least four, if not more, co-conspirators that are not allowed to be, or that's part of the deal, is that they can't be arrested.

02:13:44.000 How is he in a position to make deals?

02:13:46.000 I'm not arguing with you.

02:13:47.000 It doesn't make sense.

02:13:47.000 What leverage do you have?

02:13:49.000 You're like the world's biggest pedophile ring, and it's like, all right, you can't arrest my people, though.

02:13:54.000 Oh, okay, that's fair, Mr. Epstein. 0.99

02:13:56.000 Sir, we promised not to kill you in jail.

02:14:00.000 I think maybe there's a concern that if maybe she...

02:14:05.000 Listen, if I was going to be the guy who writes the script, I would say there's a dead switch.

02:14:10.000 Yes.

02:14:11.000 And then if she dies... 1.00

02:14:14.000 This shit gets out. 1.00

02:14:15.000 And she says, listen, the moment I die, all this shit gets published. 1.00

02:14:20.000 She's under guard. 1.00

02:14:21.000 They're protecting her.

02:14:23.000 Ex-Special Forces Guard.

02:14:25.000 Why does it have pictures of Michael Jackson?

02:14:27.000 Pedophiles, probably.

02:14:28.000 Leaving Neverland.

02:14:30.000 Oh, is it different?

02:14:33.000 They're thinking the person watching this is really into pedophilia.

02:14:37.000 Must be.

02:14:38.000 Very strange, dude.

02:14:40.000 Maxwell faces credible death threats and is being guarded by former U.S. Navy SEALs in safe houses in the American Midwest. 0.99

02:14:47.000 American bitches in Ohio. 1.00

02:14:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:14:49.000 In Shake Shack.

02:14:51.000 Or Sonic, if she's lucky.

02:14:54.000 Good Lord.

02:14:55.000 I mean, all she has to do is dye her hair. 1.00

02:14:56.000 People in the Midwest don't even read.

02:14:58.000 They have no idea that she's there.

02:14:59.000 Did you...

02:15:00.000 Right?

02:15:01.000 Am I right?

02:15:02.000 They're not paying attention.

02:15:04.000 Did you see the Prince Philip interview?

02:15:06.000 Yes.

02:15:07.000 Oh my god.

02:15:08.000 So strange.

02:15:09.000 Oh, I loved it so much.

02:15:10.000 So strange.

02:15:10.000 He seems a little spectrum-y.

02:15:12.000 Am I wrong?

02:15:13.000 Something's not right there.

02:15:14.000 Something's wrong, right?

02:15:15.000 Because you're watching this and he's like, oh yeah, I cut off contact with him.

02:15:19.000 They're like, well, there was a dinner in August.

02:15:21.000 Well, I was talking by then.

02:15:22.000 You were the guest of honor.

02:15:24.000 Oh, well. 1.00

02:15:25.000 It was like, what the fuck, dude? 1.00

02:15:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:15:29.000 Yeah, he seems like he's a little detached from reality in some sort of strange way.

02:15:35.000 Yeah.

02:15:35.000 Well, you're a prince for that long.

02:15:37.000 You're not going to be normal to begin with.

02:15:38.000 Right.

02:15:38.000 There's no way.

02:15:40.000 You can't develop without trials and tribulations and come out normal, especially when you're not just a famous person, but you're a royal person.

02:15:49.000 Yeah.

02:15:50.000 Like when they asked him about hugging the girls, I'm a royal.

02:15:52.000 We don't, as it were, hug.

02:15:54.000 We don't hug. 1.00

02:15:56.000 I fuck through a hole in the bathroom. 1.00

02:15:59.000 The best part, what do you want to say then? 0.99

02:16:00.000 The Kevin Spacey stuff going on doesn't seem directly related, but it doesn't seem unrelated in any way. 0.99

02:16:06.000 Kill him with kindness. 0.97

02:16:07.000 No, it is somewhat related because this is one of those things where things are open secrets in Hollywood and everyone kind of knows that Everyone knew that Kevin Spacey was a dick grabber. 1.00

02:16:17.000 Yeah. 0.94

02:16:18.000 And it's kind of like, then it's like, oh, you conspiracy theorists. 1.00

02:16:20.000 You guys are comfortable with this, you assholes. 0.99

02:16:23.000 Well, that's a weird one, right? 0.99

02:16:24.000 Because that's like, we always heard of the wild artists that were doing things that were fucked up, but we kind of let them get away with it because they were really talented and there's no real proof. 1.00

02:16:38.000 Goddamn ad blocker, you fuck! 1.00

02:16:40.000 Jesus! 1.00

02:16:42.000 Financier Jeffrey Epstein once flew Bill Clinton and Kevin Spacey to Africa.

02:16:47.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:16:49.000 Clinton really likes Russian roulette. 1.00

02:16:50.000 He wanted to fuck the AIDS monkey. 1.00

02:16:52.000 I want to try. 1.00

02:16:53.000 I want to be patient zero.

02:16:54.000 I think I can fix it. 0.98

02:16:55.000 I got that super Arkansas cum. 1.00

02:16:59.000 I can shoot it inside that monkey and start all over again. 1.00

02:17:02.000 And I make mushrooms grow when I jizz on the floor. 0.99

02:17:05.000 Dude, he went with that guy at least 26, as many as 28 times in his plane.

02:17:12.000 I just flew a couple times, my friend Jeffrey.

02:17:15.000 We're friends!

02:17:17.000 I had Juanita Broderick on my show, the one who had a rape accusation against him, and I went in there hoping that she was lying. 0.88

02:17:22.000 He raped her in the morning, and it was like half an hour.

02:17:26.000 He went with her to her hotel room in Arkansas, and I thought it was going to be like 9 o'clock, they had a few drinks. 0.90

02:17:31.000 No, she was supposed to be meeting with him about something.

02:17:33.000 It's horrible what these people get away with.

02:17:36.000 So you think he physically held her down?

02:17:39.000 Yes, he did.

02:17:40.000 No, he bit her lip, just like a cat, to keep her from yelling.

02:17:43.000 And then when he left, the last thing he says there, you better put some ice on that.

02:17:47.000 And another woman who accused him, I think it was Kathleen Willey, who accused him of forcing herself on him, he bit her lip too.

02:17:54.000 And the two never knew each other before.

02:17:56.000 They independently had the same thing that he does.

02:18:00.000 He bites their lips so they don't scream?

02:18:02.000 Or he just bites their lips because it's hot to get, you know, whatever.

02:18:05.000 That's his thing.

02:18:05.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

02:18:07.000 The thing that Americans don't get, which they are increasingly starting to get, is that people in power are often really depraved.

02:18:14.000 And they will use their power in sadistic ways, and they get off on not having consequences.

02:18:20.000 It's not just being corrupt like, oh, I'm getting a kickback for hiring my cousin.

02:18:23.000 It's so much worse than that.

02:18:25.000 And they're starting to see it now, like the Amy Rohrabach thing.

02:18:28.000 Who's that?

02:18:28.000 She's that ABC News reporter.

02:18:30.000 The footage leaked where she's just like, we had the whole Epstein story.

02:18:34.000 We had Prince Philip.

02:18:35.000 We had Bill Clinton.

02:18:36.000 And the lawyers killed it.

02:18:37.000 And she was pissed that she didn't get the scoop.

02:18:40.000 And she's like, I 100% think he was killed.

02:18:43.000 And it's like, yeah, this is what they're like when the cameras are off.

02:18:46.000 Right. 0.94

02:18:46.000 The Clinton thing is so fucking weird, right? 0.94

02:18:50.000 Because you have Hillary, who was this woman who was going to be the first woman president. 0.96

02:18:57.000 Everyone was behind her.

02:18:58.000 And we were all thinking that she represents hope and change and all the wonderful things that the progressives want.

02:19:03.000 Sure.

02:19:03.000 But then she's got this husband.

02:19:04.000 Right.

02:19:05.000 Look at this husband.

02:19:07.000 A lot of weird accusations.

02:19:09.000 Right.

02:19:09.000 And when they had that debate and Trump brought those women to sit out in front, I was like, no, he didn't.

02:19:15.000 Oh, yeah.

02:19:16.000 Oh, no, he didn't.

02:19:17.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:19:18.000 And Melania was wearing a pussy bow. 1.00

02:19:20.000 Was she? 0.99

02:19:21.000 Yeah, it's a certain type of knot. 0.99

02:19:22.000 She had a pussy bow. 1.00

02:19:24.000 There's a special kind of knot called a pussy bow? 1.00

02:19:26.000 Yeah.

02:19:27.000 Whoa.

02:19:28.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

02:19:30.000 So, there's a lot of fucked up shit in both sides. 1.00

02:19:32.000 Jeffrey, now we're tied. 1.00

02:19:33.000 He was a good guy.

02:19:35.000 He supported science.

02:19:36.000 Look at them.

02:19:37.000 Dancing it up.

02:19:39.000 There's Jasane.

02:19:41.000 Is that her?

02:19:42.000 Is that Melania?

02:19:44.000 Is that Melania?

02:19:46.000 Yeah.

02:19:47.000 That's Melania? 0.63

02:19:48.000 I think so.

02:19:49.000 I'm pretty sure.

02:19:49.000 Oh, and who's that in the back right?

02:19:51.000 That looks like Lady Di or something. 1.00

02:19:52.000 It's Lady Di, came back as a photographer.

02:19:54.000 Yeah.

02:19:55.000 She's not dead.

02:19:56.000 She's hiding with Elvis.

02:19:57.000 She's hiding with Epstein in Brazil, wherever he is. 0.98

02:20:00.000 God, just awful, awful people.

02:20:02.000 It's just amazing that you could still whack somebody as high profile as Epstein publicly in this day and age.

02:20:08.000 That you could say, oh, the cameras didn't work.

02:20:10.000 Oh, the guards, oh, they went around.

02:20:11.000 We didn't hear anything.

02:20:12.000 We just whacked Soleimani.

02:20:14.000 That's different.

02:20:14.000 In a way, it is.

02:20:16.000 In a way, it's not.

02:20:17.000 Because these people will do whatever they need to to maintain their health and power.

02:20:19.000 We think that these people are in control.

02:20:22.000 Like, when we're watching this, we think that the guards are in control and the prison's in control and they've got this captive and they're going to bring him to the justice system because the justice system wants to hear his case.

02:20:31.000 They want him to testify.

02:20:32.000 There's a lot of other moving pieces, a lot of players.

02:20:34.000 We're very interested to see what kind of horrible crimes are committed by these elites that you know.

02:20:40.000 And then all of a sudden he gets killed.

02:20:41.000 So they do it right out in front of everybody's nose.

02:20:44.000 What happened with Jack Ruby?

02:20:46.000 Oh, same thing.

02:20:47.000 It's just like, this is the most important person on earth right now to keep safe.

02:20:51.000 And you're not doing it?

02:20:52.000 Right. 0.99

02:20:52.000 Jack Ruby just runs up and shoots him in the gut. 0.99

02:20:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:20:54.000 Bang. 0.99

02:20:55.000 Lehar Boswell, yeah.

02:20:56.000 It's just like, how are you letting this happen?

02:20:58.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:20:59.000 Even if all the conspiracy theories are wrong, how are you fucking up so bad that this is allowed to happen? 0.92

02:21:06.000 Yeah. 0.96

02:21:07.000 Right there.

02:21:07.000 Bang.

02:21:09.000 Ow! 1.00

02:21:10.000 It was a couple of days, wasn't it, after he shot JFK? It was barely a week.

02:21:13.000 There was no time at all.

02:21:14.000 Look at that face.

02:21:15.000 Well, yeah, he's getting murdered, of course. 0.86

02:21:17.000 It's going to hurt.

02:21:18.000 We should probably get that picture.

02:21:19.000 That's what I look like when I'm beating off, by the way.

02:21:21.000 That's the thing that people see.

02:21:22.000 That face, yeah.

02:21:23.000 Jamie, let's get that picture converted into a giant metal framed photo.

02:21:28.000 That's a good one to have, too.

02:21:30.000 We're going to have a bunch of good ones in like a year and a half.

02:21:33.000 It'll just be full of history.

02:21:35.000 Like a museum here, man.

02:21:38.000 Look at Jack Ruby. 1.00

02:21:39.000 Looks like a piece of shit. 1.00

02:21:40.000 Does anybody look like a piece of shit? 1.00

02:21:43.000 Oh, wow. 1.00

02:21:44.000 He looks like Sloth from the Goonies.

02:21:46.000 Oh, he looks so creepy.

02:21:47.000 Look at him.

02:21:47.000 Hey, I did what I had to do.

02:21:49.000 I did what I had to do.

02:21:51.000 Jesus, yeah.

02:21:52.000 Why did he even say that he did it?

02:21:54.000 I don't remember his excuse. 0.99

02:21:57.000 It's not like the guy wasn't going to get the death penalty for killing the effing president. 0.97

02:22:01.000 Yeah, but he was going to talk.

02:22:02.000 That was what they were really worried about, that Lee Harvey Oswald was going to talk and he's going to give up.

02:22:07.000 Yeah, but Ruby's not going to say, I shot him because he's going to talk.

02:22:11.000 Yeah, but Ruby probably was under some sort of a – he probably owed money or they were going to kill him.

02:22:17.000 No, but he's going to say some reason publicly, right?

02:22:20.000 He's not going to say, I did this because I owed money.

02:22:22.000 He never did rat anybody out if that was the case.

02:22:26.000 I mean he went to jail and I think he died of cancer in jail.

02:22:28.000 Okay.

02:22:28.000 They probably shot him with something while he was sleeping.

02:22:30.000 But it's just – he's going to have some excuse to be like why he did it.

02:22:33.000 Give him a little cancer bug. 0.99

02:22:35.000 Yeah, like the koala juice.

02:22:37.000 Yep. 0.65

02:22:37.000 You're going to have a koala piss on him and then next thing you know you've got cancer. 0.65

02:22:40.000 Yeah, I wonder how long he lived.

02:22:41.000 I think he lived in jail for like a decade though.

02:22:43.000 That long?

02:22:44.000 Yeah.

02:22:44.000 When did Jack Ruby die in jail?

02:22:47.000 He died in jail of cancer, I'm pretty sure.

02:22:49.000 Pulmonary embolism, January 3rd, 1967. Oh, that's four years.

02:22:53.000 That's not cancer, though.

02:22:55.000 Pulmonary embolism, you can give somebody.

02:22:57.000 Or is that a stroke?

02:22:58.000 I think that's a stroke.

02:23:00.000 Okay.

02:23:00.000 Yeah, embolism, stroke.

02:23:02.000 You can give somebody.

02:23:03.000 Oh, yeah.

02:23:04.000 Secondary to bronchogenetic carcinoma.

02:23:08.000 Which, that is cancer.

02:23:09.000 Oh, so he got cancer.

02:23:11.000 They doubled up.

02:23:13.000 He probably had lung cancer anyway.

02:23:14.000 Everybody had lung cancer back then. 1.00

02:23:16.000 All those morons were smoking. 1.00

02:23:18.000 It's a crazy story, though, you know, to this day. 1.00

02:23:21.000 Until that Zapruder film got released by Geraldo Rivera, of all people, and, um, goddammit, what's his name?

02:23:32.000 Who brought it to Geraldo Rivera?

02:23:34.000 Dick Gregory.

02:23:34.000 Dick Gregory, the comedian.

02:23:36.000 Okay.

02:23:36.000 Brought the Zapruder film to the Geraldo Rivera show.

02:23:40.000 More than 10 years after the assassination.

02:23:43.000 So I think it was 12 years later.

02:23:44.000 I think it was 75. And he brings the Zapruder film that shows the head going back and to the left.

02:23:51.000 And they censored some of the frames at certain points.

02:23:55.000 On TV? I know Zapruder didn't want a couple of frames.

02:23:58.000 I woke up one day recently, and I saw that in the middle of the night, I was reading about the Zapruder film.

02:24:04.000 So you wake up and just read about it?

02:24:06.000 No, I wake up like, oh yeah, I was reading about this at 5 in the morning.

02:24:09.000 Did you ever read Best Evidence by David Lifton?

02:24:13.000 No, what's that about?

02:24:14.000 Is that about JFK? Yeah, it's all about the Warren Commission Report.

02:24:18.000 He was like this really meticulous accountant, and he was hired to do something with the Warren Commission Report to go over it.

02:24:27.000 And he decided to go over every aspect of it.

02:24:29.000 Oh, okay.

02:24:29.000 And talked about all the different...

02:24:31.000 The contradictions and all the things that are wrong with it.

02:24:34.000 And it was his conclusion by the end of the book that President Kennedy was assassinated and this was a conspiracy.

02:24:39.000 He wrote a book called Best Evidence.

02:24:41.000 It's really good.

02:24:43.000 It freaked me out though. 0.97

02:24:44.000 I fucked up once and read it before I went on stage. 0.98

02:24:47.000 I went up and bombed. 0.99

02:24:51.000 I was so freaked out.

02:24:52.000 Like, they killed Kennedy.

02:24:53.000 In this about Jack Ruby, it says that it took six months for them to talk to him and he had to ask for them to talk to him.

02:25:00.000 Wow.

02:25:01.000 That's amazing.

02:25:03.000 Don't you want to know why I did it?

02:25:04.000 No, we're good.

02:25:05.000 He asked to be moved to D.C. because he thought he was going to be killed.

02:25:09.000 Where he was, I guess, in Texas or Michigan.

02:25:11.000 I forgot where he was being held. 1.00

02:25:13.000 They just locked that dude up and said, fuck you. 1.00

02:25:15.000 Yeah, good luck. 1.00

02:25:16.000 They probably told him, listen, Jack, you're doing us this solid.

02:25:19.000 We're going to take care of you in the pokey. 0.99

02:25:22.000 Going to give you hoards. 1.00

02:25:23.000 We're going to shave your head, sneak you out the back door. 1.00

02:25:25.000 You're going to live in Argentina with Hitler. 0.99

02:25:27.000 You're going to have nothing but hoards and steaks and prime rib and just whiskey and have a good time.

02:25:34.000 What do you say?

02:25:35.000 I just ran up on him.

02:25:36.000 Probably owed money.

02:25:38.000 He probably had to do something, you know?

02:25:40.000 And they probably promised him the moon.

02:25:42.000 Listen, we'll get you right out of this.

02:25:43.000 You'll be an American hero.

02:25:44.000 We'll get you right out of this.

02:25:45.000 We'll say temporary insanity.

02:25:47.000 Oh, temporary.

02:25:48.000 And he just ran up.

02:25:50.000 Or, you know, like I was a patriot, you know, and I love JFK so much, blah, blah, blah.

02:25:53.000 Yes.

02:25:54.000 Like, okay.

02:25:54.000 Yes.

02:25:55.000 No jury's going to convict him.

02:25:56.000 Yes!

02:25:57.000 I like it.

02:25:58.000 Yeah, so there's a lot of...

02:25:59.000 God, there's so many...

02:26:00.000 I mean, that term is just...

02:26:01.000 Once you realize that that term is used to just dismiss entire schools of thought, you realize just how pervasive our training is since we're kids. 0.92

02:26:10.000 Yeah, well, I mean, there's so many fucking conspiracies that turn out to be true. 0.89

02:26:14.000 Enron, you know, go across the board. 0.99

02:26:17.000 The tobacco industry.

02:26:18.000 Yes, yes.

02:26:20.000 Did you ever see Merchants of Doubt?

02:26:21.000 No, what's that one?

02:26:22.000 It's a great documentary that showed how the same people that were literally the same humans that used to go on TV and debate I think?

02:26:55.000 When later, the same people were doing the exact same thing about climate change.

02:27:00.000 The exact same thing.

02:27:01.000 That's amazing.

02:27:02.000 The same human beings.

02:27:04.000 These people are merchants of doubt. 0.99

02:27:06.000 Their job, someone hires them to go and do these talk shows and talk over people and talk really loud and have some very strong points where you show these people that they're being foolish. 0.98

02:27:18.000 You don't know what you're doing.

02:27:19.000 Do you ever do that?

02:27:20.000 Is that part of your job?

02:27:21.000 What?

02:27:21.000 You said, wait a minute.

02:27:23.000 No, no, I'm saying if the cigarette stuff's in the 50s and climate's in the 90s, how are they the same people?

02:27:30.000 They were doing it long past the 50s.

02:27:32.000 Oh, are you serious?

02:27:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:27:33.000 They were doing it on these talk shows.

02:27:34.000 They would just have a guy who would claim to be an expert, and this guy would go on these talk shows and just say things that are just patently untrue.

02:27:41.000 It's great, man.

02:27:42.000 You should see merch.

02:27:43.000 It's one of those things where you sit back and go, what?

02:27:46.000 Why would you hire the same person, right? 1.00

02:27:47.000 What the fuck? 0.99

02:27:48.000 Because he's good at it. 1.00

02:27:49.000 Because people didn't know about the internet back then.

02:27:51.000 Right.

02:27:52.000 They didn't know that someone was going to make a documentary like this.

02:27:54.000 They didn't know that it would ever be revealed as the same guy that was going on all these other shows 10 years ago, 15 years ago, laughing at these lawsuits.

02:28:03.000 Saying, look, frankly, it doesn't cause cancer.

02:28:06.000 It's not addictive. 0.99

02:28:07.000 And the doctor would be on the other end who didn't understand the fucking... 0.99

02:28:10.000 The Hustle. 0.99

02:28:11.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

02:28:11.000 Losing his shit. 1.00

02:28:12.000 It is! 1.00

02:28:13.000 I work for the Harvard Medical Department!

02:28:15.000 Yeah, of course.

02:28:15.000 You work for nobody!

02:28:17.000 And they would have these merchants of doubt.

02:28:21.000 It's an amazing documentary, man.

02:28:23.000 It's amazing.

02:28:23.000 That's very disturbing.

02:28:24.000 Look at that.

02:28:25.000 Michael Shermer.

02:28:26.000 It isn't about the science.

02:28:27.000 It's about me being consistent team members, showing the members of my tribe that you can count on me.

02:28:32.000 Michael Shermer, Skeptic Society.

02:28:34.000 He's one of the merchants.

02:28:36.000 He is.

02:28:37.000 He runs Skeptics Magazine or whatever it's called.

02:28:40.000 What is it saying?

02:28:41.000 He says he's one of the merchants, I guess.

02:28:42.000 You mean that he's like one of the guys that does it?

02:28:45.000 No.

02:28:46.000 I don't think that's it.

02:28:47.000 Really?

02:28:47.000 I think that's what this is saying.

02:28:49.000 No.

02:28:49.000 Who are these people that are listing here then?

02:28:51.000 No.

02:28:52.000 Scroll up.

02:28:53.000 Scroll up.

02:28:54.000 It must be contributors.

02:28:55.000 Characters.

02:28:56.000 Okay.

02:28:56.000 Yeah, but it doesn't necessarily...

02:28:57.000 Oh, they talk to him about...

02:28:58.000 Okay.

02:28:58.000 About skepticism.

02:28:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:29:00.000 He's a legit guy.

02:29:01.000 Yeah, he's a legit guy.

02:29:03.000 He's not doing that.

02:29:04.000 He's probably explaining how they're doing it.

02:29:07.000 Right.

02:29:08.000 And how they're exploiting skepticism to kind of...

02:29:10.000 Yeah.

02:29:10.000 Because he's 100%...

02:29:11.000 I mean, he 100% believes in climate change.

02:29:14.000 He's a very science-based guy.

02:29:16.000 He's not right about everything.

02:29:17.000 But, you know, he's also one of those guys that believes the official story always. 0.98

02:29:22.000 You have to beat him in the head with it. 0.95

02:29:24.000 And then finally... 0.99

02:29:25.000 Wait, the head of Skeptics Magazine believes the official story?

02:29:28.000 Almost always.

02:29:29.000 And then he comes up with some crazy explanation why it works.

02:29:34.000 And then with the Epstein one, it was the first one, he said, wait a minute.

02:29:38.000 Okay, hold up.

02:29:39.000 Hold the phone.

02:29:39.000 It was literally one of the first times.

02:29:41.000 I've known this guy for like eight years.

02:29:44.000 It's the first time in all the times that I've known him that has actually said, wait, hold on.

02:29:48.000 The film's missing?

02:29:51.000 This might be a conspiracy.

02:29:52.000 See, he literally said this might be a conspiracy.

02:29:55.000 Like, it was so blatant that Michael Shermer, who has never met a conspiracy that he doesn't want to debunk, he got to that one and he went, oh, this one's real. 1.00

02:30:03.000 They killed that fucking dude. 1.00

02:30:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:30:06.000 Or allowed him to kill himself. 0.75

02:30:09.000 At the best.

02:30:10.000 Yeah, but even the autopsy results, like the way his neck broke, like, and the way the bones in his face broke, like, no.

02:30:17.000 Like, somebody choked that guy.

02:30:19.000 Yeah.

02:30:20.000 Somebody choked that guy.

02:30:21.000 They grabbed ahold of him and they shattered his neck.

02:30:23.000 I just think it's so interesting how it's getting harder and harder for them to keep a lid on what stunts they're pulling off behind the scenes.

02:30:32.000 Yeah, and that's why we're going to need World War III. Because with World War III, there'll be much less scrutiny because people will be worried about contamination and radiation.

02:30:41.000 Everybody that's in power will be in Dick Cheney's bunker down deep into the bottom of the hole that they created somewhere around the Pentagon, I believe.

02:30:50.000 Do you think that we're going to go to war over this?

02:30:52.000 I'm worried.

02:30:53.000 I'm legitimately worried that one of the things was Trump made a tweet about if they attack us, we will attack them with a disproportionate...

02:31:02.000 Yes.

02:31:02.000 And I was like, you can't say that, man.

02:31:05.000 Because if you do do that...

02:31:07.000 If you say that and then you do that, like what does disproportionate mean?

02:31:09.000 You're going to just nuke someone?

02:31:11.000 You're going to launch missiles into the capital?

02:31:14.000 Like what are you going to do?

02:31:15.000 I don't think if they attacked us that he would be in a space not to attack disproportionately back.

02:31:21.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:31:22.000 But even if he hadn't tweeted that.

02:31:23.000 Right.

02:31:24.000 I think everyone would be freaking out so bad.

02:31:26.000 The fact that he did tweet about it, it makes you go, oh Jesus, because he's threatening them.

02:31:29.000 On Twitter, he's basically threatening, causing a war.

02:31:33.000 A huge world war.

02:31:35.000 Wait a minute. 0.90

02:31:36.000 I think if you're killing their big general, you're already threatening them. 0.57

02:31:40.000 You're definitely doing something.

02:31:41.000 It's more than threatening.

02:31:42.000 It's already pulling trigger.

02:31:43.000 But if it's after the attack in the embassy and you can prove that guy has a connection to 600 plus American deaths because of IEDs that they shipped over.

02:31:50.000 They don't care in Iran. 1.00

02:31:51.000 That's not going to...

02:31:52.000 I know.

02:31:52.000 I know they don't.

02:31:53.000 But at least it gives you some sort of a motivation for taking this guy out.

02:31:57.000 Sure.

02:31:58.000 I've heard Dan Crenshaw talk about it and some other people make some explanations as to why they needed to take this guy out and why it was a good thing.

02:32:05.000 Maybe apologists.

02:32:06.000 I don't know.

02:32:07.000 I don't know if they're right or wrong. 0.99

02:32:12.000 I just fucking hate it. 1.00

02:32:13.000 I hate all of it. 1.00

02:32:14.000 I mean, I hate the fact that we get led into these goddamn things. 0.99

02:32:17.000 That's the thing. 0.99

02:32:18.000 Yeah.

02:32:19.000 That this could happen.

02:32:20.000 That we people could lose brothers and sisters and friends and just all of it.

02:32:26.000 The most disturbing thing I've ever seen, there was this group of four pictures of this little kid.

02:32:32.000 I remember his name, Timmy.

02:32:34.000 And it's like the first one, he's like in his little camouflage, like holding up a photo of his dad.

02:32:40.000 Then they made a stuffed animal with his dad's face on it.

02:32:44.000 And then he's like holding up a sign.

02:32:46.000 It's like, I love you, dad.

02:32:47.000 Can't wait to see you soon.

02:32:48.000 Like the dad was dead at like 20. And they're like, show some support for little Timmy.

02:32:52.000 I'm like, this is...

02:32:52.000 Oh, there's one of him kissing the dad's gravestone.

02:32:55.000 And I'm like, this is not good.

02:32:58.000 Like, yeah, we should support this kid, but it would be a lot better if he wasn't in this position.

02:33:04.000 It's heartbreaking.

02:33:05.000 And just seeing him cuddling with his dad's doll, it really messed with me something fierce.

02:33:13.000 It's awful.

02:33:14.000 And we need less of that.

02:33:16.000 We definitely need less war.

02:33:18.000 As mean as little of that as possible.

02:33:20.000 It's just heartbreaking to say.

02:33:21.000 And he's just so cute and proud.

02:33:23.000 Isn't it crazy though that you really only can say as little of that as we can?

02:33:30.000 You can't really say we should have no war. 0.75

02:33:33.000 Because no one thinks...

02:33:35.000 Right.

02:33:35.000 Because humans are conflict.

02:33:37.000 Animals that kill each other.

02:33:38.000 But that's amazing.

02:33:39.000 Yeah.

02:33:39.000 That as much as we know, like our...

02:33:48.000 Sure.

02:33:53.000 Sure.

02:34:02.000 This has been, you know, but it's gotten a lot better.

02:34:05.000 Definitely gotten a lot better.

02:34:06.000 Unless we get nuked into the Stone Age somewhere around March.

02:34:10.000 Sure, yeah.

02:34:11.000 Just in time for the primaries.

02:34:12.000 No, I mean, it used to be it was considered appropriate that if you beat someone in a war, you kill everyone.

02:34:19.000 Yes.

02:34:20.000 And now it's like, maybe we don't need to literally kill everyone.

02:34:23.000 They're like, oh, okay, let's try that.

02:34:25.000 Maybe. 0.99

02:34:26.000 Or maybe you kill this general, and then they kill some of your guys, and then you kill a bunch of people, and they kill a bunch of your people, and they say, if you do that again, we're going to nuke you. 1.00

02:34:35.000 And they say, go ahead and do it, bitch. 1.00

02:34:36.000 And then you do. 1.00

02:34:37.000 And then Russia gets involved.

02:34:38.000 Then China gets involved.

02:34:39.000 Then Los Angeles gets vaporized.

02:34:41.000 So it has a happy ending.

02:34:43.000 Oh. 1.00

02:34:44.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

02:34:45.000 You'd be out here with a fucking crazy suit on and there'd be no one here to listen to us. 1.00

02:34:49.000 A crazy suit? 1.00

02:34:50.000 What do you mean?

02:34:51.000 Some sort of radiation suit.

02:34:52.000 Oh, okay.

02:34:53.000 I thought you meant my clothes.

02:34:54.000 Because I got an outfit ready for when I'm on Ruben. 1.00

02:34:57.000 Yeah, you have a fucking apocalypse suit. 1.00

02:34:59.000 Special tie. 1.00

02:35:01.000 Apocalypse the combo character, Darkseid.

02:35:02.000 Little atomic signs in it.

02:35:04.000 I look like a new wave singer.

02:35:06.000 Look, it's kind of amazing that we haven't nuked anybody since 1947. Yeah.

02:35:10.000 That's amazing in and of itself, right?

02:35:12.000 Was it 45?

02:35:14.000 It was 45, Japan, yeah.

02:35:15.000 45. Yeah.

02:35:16.000 So we haven't nuked anybody since 45. And no one else has either.

02:35:19.000 That's what's important.

02:35:20.000 That's amazing.

02:35:21.000 Except for Russia nuking themselves, basically, with Chernobyl. 0.82

02:35:23.000 Whoops.

02:35:24.000 Yeah.

02:35:24.000 And then North Korea, didn't they do that?

02:35:26.000 Didn't they experiment in the mountains?

02:35:27.000 Yes, and the mountain kind of collapsed.

02:35:29.000 But I don't think anyone died, so yeah.

02:35:31.000 I mean, look, knock on wood that that's all that happened.

02:35:33.000 This is wood.

02:35:34.000 You know, yes it is.

02:35:35.000 So, I mean, I'm very hopeful about the future of this country and the world.

02:35:39.000 How could they possibly iron things out with Iran? 0.99

02:35:42.000 How could they possibly say to Iran, hey, we're fucked up. 1.00

02:35:46.000 I don't think he thinks he fucked up. 0.99

02:35:48.000 If Crenshaw has his back, you know, in explaining this, I think he's not going to backpedal on this. 0.98

02:35:55.000 Trump's not a backpedaler anyway.

02:35:56.000 Right, but do you think it's possible that they could somehow or another work this out?

02:36:00.000 Yes.

02:36:01.000 Really?

02:36:01.000 Yeah, because if Khrushchev and JFK can work out the Cuban Missile Crisis...

02:36:05.000 Right, but JFK never sent a fucking drone to shoot down Khrushchev's number two guy. 0.86

02:36:10.000 Sure, but at the same time, if you're like... 0.94

02:36:12.000 Look, in a sense, the sanctions and how we've kind of collapsed, from my understanding, I'm not an expert, Iran's currency, is also a huge deal.

02:36:21.000 And it has caused a lot of suffering there.

02:36:23.000 So they didn't do anything about that.

02:36:26.000 True.

02:36:26.000 Good point.

02:36:27.000 At a certain point, you know, if your dick's big enough, the other people just have to be like, shit, there's nothing I can do. 1.00

02:36:32.000 Do you think that's real, though? 0.99

02:36:33.000 I just feel like this one is so public and demands a response, and I don't think they're not going to respond.

02:36:40.000 They could respond in some way that's kind of like to save face.

02:36:45.000 Now, how many people do you think are in the Iranian regime that want change?

02:36:54.000 And that realize that the Iranian regime and their support of certain aspects of terrorism and the support of a lot of the stuff that they're claiming this guy did, including the IEDs, this is all problematic because they brought this upon them by their acts and their deeds and that we need to change the government. 0.73

02:37:11.000 Like, that's really what a sophisticated...

02:37:15.000 What an intelligent society would want.

02:37:17.000 They would want to figure out how to infiltrate that thing, that organization, and sow seeds of doubt and let everybody know, hey, do you love your children? 0.98

02:37:26.000 Because this guy just made a giant fucking mistake and it's all coming down. 0.94

02:37:29.000 I can only look at it through the lens of stuff I'm informed about, which is like North Korea and the Soviet Union. 0.99

02:37:34.000 And what happens is these regimes, the people at the top, aren't there because they're smart or charismatic.

02:37:39.000 They're there because they're loyal.

02:37:41.000 That's the first thing they test for.

02:37:42.000 And everyone's always looking after each other to kind of be like, look, this guy's gone soft, and they're getting rid of each other that way.

02:37:48.000 That's the power plays going on over there.

02:37:50.000 So if you have someone being like, oh, maybe we shouldn't do terrorism, all of a sudden everyone's raising eyebrows and being like this.

02:37:56.000 Because if you're going to advocate for that...

02:37:59.000 I think?

02:38:27.000 Or the people. 0.99

02:38:29.000 If there's a revolt, it could be like Gaddafi and you're being raped to death by a broomstick. 0.96

02:38:34.000 And they don't want that either. 0.97

02:38:35.000 It was a bayonet.

02:38:36.000 Sorry, okay.

02:38:37.000 I think it's a little rougher than a broomstick.

02:38:38.000 That's even worse.

02:38:39.000 Okay, wow.

02:38:40.000 Jesus.

02:38:40.000 Remember that picture?

02:38:41.000 No, I didn't want to look at it. 1.00

02:38:43.000 He's standing there in shock and he's going to stab him in the asshole with a knife. 1.00

02:38:46.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:38:47.000 Yeah.

02:38:47.000 I would have said that that guy's going to be the Mount Iwo Jima guy of the future.

02:38:51.000 We're the Mount Iwo Jima guys putting that flag. 0.99

02:38:54.000 There's going to be a guy just ramming it right up Qaddafi's ass. 0.99

02:38:57.000 It's probably in a mosque somewhere. 0.99

02:38:58.000 So, yeah, very quickly you're going to be wondering, am I next?

02:39:01.000 And then you also wonder, do I want to be a martyr?

02:39:04.000 And, like, go out heroically?

02:39:06.000 Well, you're making all good points.

02:39:08.000 But what I'm worried about is some sort of an attack on...

02:39:12.000 On some sort of a public place.

02:39:14.000 Like a Disneyland.

02:39:15.000 It'll be a lot easier for them to...

02:39:17.000 Right.

02:39:17.000 Or Disneyland or hitting Israel.

02:39:19.000 Yeah.

02:39:19.000 You know, so they could be like, look, we hate them, blah, blah, blah.

02:39:21.000 Or Iraq somewhere. 0.81

02:39:22.000 Right.

02:39:23.000 So who knows?

02:39:24.000 I mean, what they did with the Iraq War when it was Bush and Tony Blair, they bombed the train station in Spain.

02:39:31.000 And Spain couldn't get out of the war fast enough.

02:39:33.000 So it could be that they're going after one of our allies to separate us.

02:39:37.000 You know, that might be a smart move to do.

02:39:39.000 It's a weird jazz game.

02:39:40.000 There's so many spots to hit, you know what I mean?

02:39:43.000 There's no way you can really...

02:39:45.000 It's like a shell game.

02:39:46.000 There's only so many shells.

02:39:49.000 Jesus Christ.

02:39:49.000 Yeah.

02:39:50.000 This doesn't make you nervous at all?

02:39:51.000 No. 1.00

02:39:52.000 But you're a psychopath, right? 1.00

02:39:54.000 What do you mean? 1.00

02:39:55.000 Aren't you?

02:39:55.000 How am I a psychopath?

02:39:58.000 God, there's a lot of name-calling in this.

02:40:00.000 2020, Joe Rogan's just...

02:40:02.000 I'm kidding, but you're not...

02:40:04.000 You're really 100% confident?

02:40:08.000 I'm not 100% confident at all.

02:40:10.000 Are you 60% confident?

02:40:12.000 Yes.

02:40:12.000 I'm very hopeful.

02:40:13.000 That's it?

02:40:14.000 Yes.

02:40:14.000 So 40% might be the end of the world?

02:40:16.000 No.

02:40:16.000 End of the world, I don't think is on the table.

02:40:19.000 At all?

02:40:19.000 No, because I think what happens is Russia and China and Britain sit down with us and Iran and they're like, this is how it's going to be.

02:40:26.000 That's what I think happens.

02:40:28.000 Really?

02:40:29.000 Yeah.

02:40:29.000 I don't think we're at a point where we can escalate to a World War III situation.

02:40:33.000 Do you think Trump goes to that meeting fucked up on diet pills? 0.98

02:40:39.000 Not Adderall. 0.99

02:40:39.000 What does he take? 0.99

02:40:40.000 What they accuse him of taking?

02:40:41.000 Oh, yeah.

02:40:42.000 Ephedrine?

02:40:43.000 What is it?

02:40:44.000 What is the cold medicine that he had?

02:40:47.000 Sudafed.

02:40:48.000 Yeah.

02:40:48.000 That's right.

02:40:50.000 Pseudonephrine?

02:40:51.000 Yeah.

02:40:53.000 Pseudoephedrine.

02:40:53.000 Okay.

02:40:54.000 That's like a speed.

02:40:55.000 Yes.

02:40:56.000 Yeah.

02:40:56.000 And he got the European shit, which is stronger.

02:40:58.000 Okay. 1.00

02:41:02.000 I think it's very useful in negotiations when you come off as a lunatic. 0.95

02:41:07.000 That's true.

02:41:07.000 Because it's like, I don't know what I'm dealing with, now I'm scared.

02:41:10.000 That is true.

02:41:11.000 I wonder if he's being used in that regard.

02:41:15.000 Yeah, as a wrecking fall.

02:41:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:41:17.000 Like, look, why we got this guy around the fucking, he's gonna get impeached. 0.99

02:41:22.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:41:22.000 I mean, we can't support him forever. 0.99

02:41:24.000 Let's just let this guy blow some people up and get some of my dirty work done.

02:41:27.000 Hey, we're real sorry about that.

02:41:29.000 Never happen again.

02:41:30.000 Yeah.

02:41:31.000 Did you see him taking hunk photos at the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin?

02:41:37.000 Well, he is a hunk.

02:41:38.000 So, what's the problem? 0.77

02:41:39.000 Does he look ugly while he's at the Holocaust?

02:41:41.000 No, these are extra hunky. 0.72

02:41:42.000 Extra?

02:41:43.000 He's in his underwear?

02:41:44.000 No, but he was looking all sexy at the camera.

02:41:46.000 Fish face?

02:41:47.000 He's making fish lips?

02:41:48.000 Yeah, and then someone's like, is that the Holocaust memorial?

02:41:50.000 And it was the Holocaust memorial.

02:41:52.000 Need to see that.

02:41:53.000 Didn't he get accused of his campaign was using fake Twitter accounts?

02:41:59.000 Is that true?

02:41:59.000 To attack someone or something?

02:42:01.000 Yeah, look at that.

02:42:01.000 Look at that.

02:42:02.000 That's the Holocaust memorial.

02:42:04.000 That's from his husband, who's a school teacher.

02:42:06.000 Is that from his husband?

02:42:07.000 Yep.

02:42:07.000 Make that larger.

02:42:12.000 I don't think that's hunky.

02:42:14.000 I think people are being nitpicky.

02:42:15.000 He's standing there.

02:42:17.000 You don't think looking over your shoulder is a come-hither pose?

02:42:20.000 Not to me, bro.

02:42:21.000 I'm a man.

02:42:22.000 Yeah?

02:42:23.000 Okay?

02:42:24.000 I don't think that's come-hither.

02:42:25.000 That's high.

02:42:26.000 So is he and so is his husband.

02:42:28.000 I think he could have been in the middle of saying something like, this is insane.

02:42:33.000 Look at all these people that died.

02:42:33.000 What does the caption say?

02:42:35.000 What does it say? 1.00

02:42:35.000 I love dick. 1.00

02:42:37.000 Say that? 1.00

02:42:38.000 This guy.

02:42:40.000 Oh.

02:42:41.000 Yeah.

02:42:42.000 Okay.

02:42:44.000 All right.

02:42:47.000 And my friend Brian Moylan, who's a gay writer.

02:42:51.000 Yeah, I think now I changed my opinion.

02:42:53.000 Brian Moylan wrote an article years ago that apparently it's a thing for gay dudes to do this and put their photos on Grindr.

02:42:59.000 There's an article like, why are gay dudes taking pictures at the Holocaust Memorial?

02:43:03.000 What? 0.60

02:43:03.000 This is a thing. 0.60

02:43:04.000 You can look it up.

02:43:05.000 What?

02:43:05.000 Yeah.

02:43:07.000 Was there a reason?

02:43:08.000 He couldn't figure it out.

02:43:10.000 Maybe it's something that would be in the culture.

02:43:12.000 Maybe it's a conspiracy theory.

02:43:15.000 Maybe someone tricked them into doing it, sort of like some sort of IRA thing. 0.91

02:43:19.000 Internet research agency that does the things where they fuck with people and get people to get behind certain causes. 0.99

02:43:25.000 Maybe they trick gay guys into thinking it's really hot to take photographs. 1.00

02:43:29.000 Because you know how Russia feels about gay people. 0.98

02:43:31.000 They're not really thrilled about it.

02:43:32.000 So maybe they just got into the community.

02:43:35.000 And they do, by the way, have gay and lesbian pages and LBGDQ pages.

02:43:39.000 Yeah, I mean, this IRA, this Internet Research Agency, has hundreds and thousands of different fake accounts that have massive impact.

02:43:49.000 Maybe they did that. 0.64

02:43:50.000 As long as they got good memes on my board.

02:43:52.000 Maybe it's like the OK sign.

02:43:53.000 Oh, you're canceled!

02:43:54.000 Maybe they turned the OK sign into a white power sign, right? 0.92

02:43:57.000 Yeah.

02:43:58.000 Maybe that's what they're doing. 0.96

02:43:59.000 Maybe they're convincing gay guys to give a hither-come look in front of cemeteries in the most offensive places. 0.96

02:44:04.000 No, this isn't the one. 0.95

02:44:05.000 The Jewish Museum Closet.

02:44:07.000 Photos of gay men at Berlin's Holocaust Museum.

02:44:10.000 So that's a thing they do.

02:44:11.000 Look at that one guy with his feet up.

02:44:12.000 Yeah.

02:44:13.000 Look at the upper left.

02:44:15.000 Oh, the guy's doing handstands. 1.00

02:44:17.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

02:44:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:44:19.000 How about that gay guy in the lower left-hand corner? 0.95

02:44:21.000 In the tracksuit? 1.00

02:44:22.000 Sitting on the top in a tracksuit, just ready to sprint over some dick. 1.00

02:44:26.000 Yeah, this is a thing. 1.00

02:44:28.000 This was a thing.

02:44:30.000 Six o'clock already.

02:44:31.000 Alright.

02:44:31.000 We did it.

02:44:32.000 Three hours.

02:44:33.000 Wow.

02:44:34.000 Awesomely outrageous.

02:44:35.000 Time flew.

02:44:36.000 It's fun here.

02:44:36.000 My friend, do you have anything to let anybody know about?

02:44:39.000 How to follow you?

02:44:40.000 Just Michael Malice on Twitter and on Instagram and I'm still not verified.

02:44:44.000 What? 1.00

02:44:44.000 So fuck you Instagram. 1.00

02:44:45.000 How many do you have? 1.00

02:44:47.000 Like 12,000 and Joey Salas tried to help me and didn't do anything.

02:44:50.000 So they don't want you in.

02:44:51.000 They don't want me.

02:44:52.000 You think you're a bad person? 1.00

02:44:52.000 I'm a piece of shit. 1.00

02:44:53.000 But you're not. 1.00

02:44:54.000 And a psychopath. 0.99

02:44:54.000 No, these are just jokes. 0.99

02:44:56.000 Instagram, he's a nice guy.

02:44:58.000 That's not true.

02:44:59.000 You're not a bad guy.

02:45:00.000 I'm not a nice guy.

02:45:01.000 We were doing so well.

02:45:03.000 We had a great PR. I was playing bad guy.

02:45:06.000 You were supposed to be a good cop.

02:45:07.000 I'm better guy. 1.00

02:45:08.000 You fucked up. 1.00

02:45:09.000 Thank you. 1.00

02:45:10.000 Hey, this was fun, man.

02:45:11.000 Thanks, brother.

02:45:11.000 Appreciate it.

02:45:12.000 Bye, everybody.

02:45:15.000 That was fun, dude.

The Joe Rogan Experience - January 07, 2020

Joe Rogan Experience #1407 - Michael Malice

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript