The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1412 - Jimmy Dore

00:00:00.000 Oh, here we go.

00:00:04.000 Good?

00:00:05.000 Hello, Jimmy.

00:00:06.000 Hi, Joe.

00:00:07.000 What's going on, buddy?

00:00:08.000 Good to see you.

00:00:09.000 Good to see you, too.

00:00:10.000 What's happening?

00:00:10.000 Well, we were just talking about the Air Force admitting that their pilots had seen UFOs, and you were telling me you interviewed one of those pilots.

00:00:19.000 Yes, I interviewed Commander Fravor, and he was saying that this...

00:00:23.000 Chocolate would be my favorite.

00:00:25.000 Come on! 0.61

00:00:26.000 It's with an R. Fravor.

00:00:28.000 Fravor.

00:00:29.000 Fravor.

00:00:29.000 Okay.

00:00:30.000 He was one of the guys that actually went to... 0.98

00:00:34.000 What is the word they do when they scramble and go to try to figure out what the fuck something is? 0.94

00:00:40.000 But they monitored this thing. 0.98

00:00:43.000 They saw it with their eyes.

00:00:45.000 They saw it with their equipment.

00:00:46.000 It was actively jamming the radar, whatever this thing was.

00:00:49.000 It was shaped like a Tic Tac.

00:00:50.000 And it moved so fast, you couldn't track it with the human eye.

00:00:54.000 They said it went from...

00:00:55.000 I think they said some impossible number, like 60,000 feet down to 200 feet in less than a second.

00:01:01.000 Like whatever you could track.

00:01:02.000 You know a radar does a blip, blip, blip, blip.

00:01:05.000 They don't know how fast it actually went.

00:01:07.000 They just know it went this insane distance.

00:01:12.000 In less than a second, less than a radar jump.

00:01:16.000 And they had observed them in that area without his knowledge, like other Air Force pilots had observed them, and then had brought it up the top of the food chain, but it wasn't something that got distributed to everybody until he saw it. 0.98

00:01:31.000 When he saw it, he was like, what in the fuck am I looking at here? 0.97

00:01:34.000 Okay. 0.99

00:01:34.000 And they're like, yeah, we've been seeing these things. 0.99

00:01:36.000 And this thing with no active propulsion system that you could recognize.

00:01:42.000 There was nothing around, no fire coming out of it, nothing around.

00:01:45.000 And it would just disappear.

00:01:47.000 Take off at an insane race of speed.

00:01:50.000 And actively jamming the radar.

00:01:52.000 So when I covered this on my show, I said, now, I've heard reports that pilots see this stuff all the time, but they never confirmed it.

00:02:01.000 And my question was...

00:02:03.000 Why now?

00:02:04.000 Why would the Air Force be confirming that they saw UFOs now?

00:02:07.000 Because, again, there have been reports that pilots have seen this stuff forever.

00:02:10.000 I'm not saying it didn't happen.

00:02:12.000 I'm saying, why are they admitting it happened now?

00:02:14.000 And then, of course, you see in this last defense budget, they put in money for a Space Force.

00:02:19.000 I think the money for the Space Force, though, isn't that because China is able to...

00:02:24.000 That's what they say.

00:02:24.000 Whatever they can do to make sure we want to spend more money, that's what they'll do.

00:02:28.000 Hey, we saw a UFO. Hey, China. 1.00

00:02:30.000 Hey, look over there.

00:02:31.000 We got to spend more money.

00:02:32.000 You think that's what it is?

00:02:32.000 That's why they're admitting it?

00:02:33.000 But Fravor, I guarantee you, isn't in that.

00:02:36.000 No, no, I guarantee you saw it.

00:02:37.000 No, no.

00:02:38.000 They're just now...

00:02:38.000 But before, they would say, that's not true.

00:02:41.000 The Air Force would go, we don't acknowledge that.

00:02:43.000 And now they're going to acknowledge it.

00:02:44.000 You're probably right.

00:02:45.000 There's probably something to that, that it's just about budgets.

00:02:49.000 I don't want to be that cynical when it comes to something like that.

00:02:53.000 Really?

00:02:54.000 That's cynical?

00:02:55.000 I want to think that...

00:02:57.000 Come on, that's not cynical.

00:02:58.000 That's two plus two.

00:02:59.000 It is, you're right.

00:03:00.000 But it's also cynical.

00:03:01.000 The only reason why they're telling us is because of budgets.

00:03:03.000 It's both things.

00:03:04.000 Yeah, okay.

00:03:05.000 I mean, look, 100% is how they do it.

00:03:09.000 If they need some sort of justification for expanding their reach or expanding their budget, they come up with some threat.

00:03:16.000 Well, listen to this, Joe.

00:03:18.000 This is what I keep telling people, and no one seems to think this is a big deal.

00:03:23.000 But, you know, the Democrats and the mainstream news have spent the last three years telling everybody that Trump is a Manchurian candidate, he's a traitor to our country, and working under the behest of Vladimir Putin.

00:03:35.000 And while they're impeaching him, they're voting to give him an extra $131 billion to go bomb anybody he wants.

00:03:41.000 And if he's bombing at the behest of Vladimir Putin, why would you give him an extra $131 billion?

00:03:45.000 Now let me tell you how much $131 billion is, Joe.

00:03:48.000 Please do.

00:03:49.000 Well, $20 billion would end homelessness.

00:03:52.000 And homelessness.

00:03:53.000 Yeah.

00:03:54.000 Is that real, though?

00:03:54.000 That's the figure.

00:03:55.000 We can get to that in a moment.

00:03:57.000 But let's just say it's $20 billion.

00:04:00.000 A year.

00:04:01.000 Not just once.

00:04:02.000 But every year you'd have to spend $20 billion.

00:04:04.000 Right.

00:04:04.000 Okay, guess what?

00:04:05.000 They're spending an extra $131 billion since Trump took office every year going forward on bomb.

00:04:11.000 $131 billion.

00:04:12.000 So if they just spent $110 billion, we'd have no homeless people.

00:04:17.000 Yes, if they took that money and put it towards it.

00:04:20.000 So somebody told me the difference between a million and a billion.

00:04:24.000 So I read this. 0.99

00:04:25.000 So I don't know, maybe you want to fact check and make sure I'm not full of shit again. 0.99

00:04:30.000 So like a million seconds would be like 11 days. 0.99

00:04:34.000 But a billion seconds is like 33 years.

00:04:37.000 Something like that.

00:04:38.000 I'm not sure, but it's close.

00:04:40.000 So that's $131 billion could do a lot of good things.

00:04:45.000 We could half our military budget and we'd still be spending more than any other country.

00:04:50.000 Now, why do you think that they would do that?

00:04:52.000 Why do you think while they're impeaching him, they would also approve this incredible budget increase for military?

00:04:57.000 Because they're owned, right, by the military-industrial complex.

00:05:02.000 That's why, because they, you know, the defense secretaries just came right from Raytheon, right?

00:05:08.000 The guy before, the Secretary of State, came right from Exxon.

00:05:11.000 I mean, come on!

00:05:12.000 That's the beauty of Trump, is like, you don't have to figure it out.

00:05:15.000 It's right there.

00:05:17.000 They asked him the other day about his criticisms of how he's handling.

00:05:21.000 He goes, you know, they said I didn't pull out of Syria, and I did, but I left troops for the oil.

00:05:27.000 They're just there to guard the oil.

00:05:29.000 And he just says it.

00:05:32.000 So, A, proves he's the funniest president we've ever had.

00:05:35.000 Oh, for sure.

00:05:36.000 Oh, no doubt.

00:05:38.000 No doubt.

00:05:39.000 I thought George Bush was funny.

00:05:41.000 This guy, he's intentionally and unintentionally the funniest president we've ever had.

00:05:45.000 Like, the other day, he was doing a signing.

00:05:47.000 So, in 2019, was the 100-year anniversary, the centennial anniversary of women getting the right to vote, women's suffrage.

00:05:55.000 So, he was signing a thing, commemorating it, the 100-year, they're going to have a coin.

00:06:00.000 And as he's signing, he goes, you know, I heard they've been working on getting this done for a long time.

00:06:04.000 I wonder why it finally happened now. 0.55

00:06:05.000 Well, because it's centennials now, dummy. 0.98

00:06:08.000 You can't do it.

00:06:09.000 Why didn't 100 years happen faster?

00:06:12.000 And he's sitting around going, well, we get stuff done.

00:06:15.000 That's why it happened.

00:06:16.000 And they're all looking at him like, okay, Mr. President.

00:06:18.000 But he straight faces it.

00:06:20.000 It's hilarious.

00:06:21.000 Do you think he's on speed?

00:06:22.000 And somebody...

00:06:23.000 Oh, well...

00:06:24.000 So when he did that one video...

00:06:26.000 With the drawer open?

00:06:27.000 With the drawer open.

00:06:28.000 It was actually a photo.

00:06:28.000 It was a photo when he was eating that taco bowl.

00:06:31.000 Oh, right.

00:06:31.000 That's it.

00:06:31.000 Like, I love Hispanics.

00:06:32.000 Remember that? 1.00

00:06:33.000 It was after he said some rude shit about Mexicans. 1.00

00:06:35.000 Jesus. 1.00

00:06:36.000 So he does this taco bowl thing.

00:06:38.000 Trump Tower is the best taco bowls.

00:06:40.000 I love Hispanics.

00:06:41.000 Yes, and the drawer was open and you saw he had that stuff from England or whatever, right?

00:06:45.000 The pseudo-fed.

00:06:46.000 Super powerful pseudo-ephedrine, which is essentially a type of speed.

00:06:50.000 Well, I like him on speed better than the other guy.

00:06:54.000 I like the speedy Trump.

00:06:56.000 He's entertaining.

00:06:57.000 Well, sometimes it wears off, though, and you see him slurring his words, and it gets really weird.

00:07:02.000 He doesn't even try to finish words sometimes.

00:07:04.000 He tried, but he can't.

00:07:06.000 You can see him have a hard time with words sometimes.

00:07:09.000 What was the one word?

00:07:09.000 Him and George Bush both...

00:07:11.000 Oh, sovereignty.

00:07:11.000 They both...

00:07:12.000 Sovereign.

00:07:13.000 Sovereign.

00:07:15.000 Well, there's that one.

00:07:16.000 David Pakman put a video up that showed all the different times that Trump has struggled to talk.

00:07:21.000 But there's one that's really disturbing because it's obvious he's under some sort of sedative or he's coming down from some speed and he's barely staying awake while he's talking.

00:07:31.000 It's like if you called me at 3 o'clock in the morning and I just worked 24 hours in a row and you're like, hey man, what are you doing? 0.99

00:07:37.000 Oh, fucking Jesus. 0.99

00:07:39.000 It's literally like that. 1.00

00:07:40.000 Yeah, you've never seen it?

00:07:41.000 No, I haven't seen it, no.

00:07:43.000 See if you can find it, because it's really bonkers.

00:07:46.000 Because when you hear him talk, you're like, oh my god.

00:07:49.000 There was no discussion of this.

00:07:51.000 It's not like he came out later and said, hey, guys, I had a bad night last night.

00:07:55.000 Somebody slipped me a Mickey.

00:07:56.000 It was a real issue.

00:07:57.000 Well, his whole thing is he's a teetotaler, right?

00:08:00.000 That's nonsense.

00:08:01.000 Is it? 0.80

00:08:02.000 Yeah, the pseudoephedrine, all that stuff.

00:08:04.000 But then it turns out he's doing, you know, pharmaceuticals.

00:08:07.000 Yes.

00:08:07.000 Yeah.

00:08:07.000 He's doing what's legal.

00:08:09.000 That's what it is.

00:08:10.000 Yeah.

00:08:10.000 You know, if the doctor writes him a prescription, you know, there was this whole thing with...

00:08:16.000 What was that? 0.90

00:08:17.000 There was a reporter that named the Dwayne Reed pharmacy that he had gone to in New York to fill this prescription for a metabolic condition, which he said is like a bullshit reason. 0.95

00:08:32.000 He took diet pills. 0.57

00:08:34.000 And the dye pills were speed.

00:08:35.000 But it was prescribed by his doctor. 0.98

00:08:37.000 But look, if you're a guy who wants to fucking get shit done all the time, you want to be on speed. 0.98

00:08:43.000 Speed's the way to go. 0.97

00:08:44.000 I know people who say they write songs on speed, like musicians.

00:08:47.000 Slayer?

00:08:48.000 I don't know Slayer, but...

00:08:50.000 That seems like the kind of music you'd write on speed.

00:08:53.000 Rah! 0.97

00:08:54.000 Ta-ta! 0.99

00:08:55.000 Oh, okay.

00:08:56.000 You know?

00:08:57.000 Yeah.

00:08:57.000 That's speed music.

00:08:58.000 I don't know what the kids listen to.

00:08:59.000 Sarah McLaughlin on speed.

00:09:01.000 Can you imagine? 1.00

00:09:02.000 She'd be like, fuck those puppies. 1.00

00:09:04.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:09:05.000 You know, I went to one of those, what were they called?

00:09:10.000 The women's Lollapalooza? 0.96

00:09:12.000 What were they called?

00:09:13.000 Lilith Fair?

00:09:14.000 Lilith Fair.

00:09:15.000 I was dating a girl.

00:09:16.000 Oh, no.

00:09:17.000 And she took me a lot of those things.

00:09:19.000 Oh, Jimmy.

00:09:19.000 Oh, my God.

00:09:20.000 She's just trying to drain you. 1.00

00:09:21.000 Turns out I was going through a mentally imbalanced time.

00:09:24.000 I didn't know.

00:09:28.000 Turns out I was like, oh, that was when I was going through a nervous breakdown.

00:09:33.000 Yeah.

00:09:34.000 In the arms of a...

00:09:39.000 It's great music to listen to right before you go to bed.

00:09:42.000 No, but I do remember the...

00:09:44.000 What's that hard-rockin' woman who's really good? 1.00

00:09:49.000 There's one that's really good.

00:09:50.000 Chrissy...

00:09:51.000 Chrissy Hine?

00:09:52.000 Yeah.

00:09:52.000 From The Pretenders?

00:09:53.000 That's it. 0.99

00:09:53.000 Yeah, she's a beast. 0.99

00:09:54.000 She was there that time.

00:09:55.000 I'm like, this is good!

00:09:56.000 Oh, yeah.

00:09:57.000 I was like, that's really good!

00:09:59.000 Yeah.

00:09:59.000 No, I always loved her.

00:10:00.000 Yeah.

00:10:00.000 She's awesome.

00:10:01.000 I was like, why don't you just have her play more? 0.98

00:10:02.000 Yeah, what the fuck is this? 0.98

00:10:03.000 I can't even remember who else was there. 0.99

00:10:06.000 Anytime you have an all-woman's anything, or an all-man's anything for that matter, it's a mess. 1.00

00:10:11.000 Like if you say, this is a men's conference, we're here for men's rights and men's issues.

00:10:15.000 That's not good.

00:10:16.000 That's not good.

00:10:18.000 That's not good. 1.00

00:10:19.000 Yeah, you're going to find a bunch of bitch-ass men, too. 1.00

00:10:22.000 You're not going to find any real men in an all-men's getaway. 1.00

00:10:26.000 Let's get together and talk about our problems, and they all stem from bitches. 1.00

00:10:30.000 Yeah, these girls motherfuckers. 1.00

00:10:33.000 It's a horrible situation. 1.00

00:10:35.000 I don't know how...

00:10:38.000 I don't know how women... 1.00

00:10:39.000 I just feel sorry for women that have to fuck men. 1.00

00:10:41.000 I do too. 1.00

00:10:42.000 Don't you? 0.96

00:10:42.000 We're gross. 0.96

00:10:43.000 No kidding. 0.79

00:10:44.000 No kidding.

00:10:46.000 And do you ever just listen to the way guys talk to women trying to get laid?

00:10:49.000 It's like, oh my god. 1.00

00:10:51.000 Especially dumb guys. 1.00

00:10:52.000 Which is most guys. 1.00

00:10:54.000 Most guys, yeah.

00:10:54.000 Most people.

00:10:55.000 Most men and women are dumb. 1.00

00:10:59.000 Yes. 1.00

00:11:00.000 It's a fact.

00:11:02.000 I'm close. 0.99

00:11:03.000 I'm in the dumb... 1.00

00:11:04.000 Yeah, I'm pretty dumb. 0.99

00:11:05.000 There's gaps in my knowledge that I can believe. 0.92

00:11:07.000 Oh yeah, and neither of us are going to figure anything out.

00:11:12.000 We're not that guy that they're going to call on.

00:11:15.000 There's a real issue.

00:11:16.000 We need Jimmy Dore. 0.99

00:11:17.000 No, but see, that's the thing, Joe, about my whole show, is that someone as dumb as me can see through this stuff. 0.98

00:11:24.000 I can put it together. 0.83

00:11:25.000 Oh, we're going to admit that we have UFOs, and now we're going to have a space bar.

00:11:29.000 Okay, I can put that together.

00:11:30.000 That's the whole thing.

00:11:31.000 It's like, if I can do this, I know they can do this, they're just not doing it.

00:11:36.000 I think the UFO thing is...

00:11:39.000 I know you're probably right in terms of one of the reasons why they released it, but I think there's also this...

00:11:46.000 When you get a bunch of really credible people, like that Commander Fravor guy, when you get actual data, like radar, you actually can look at the video of the infrared camera of them tracking that thing. 0.74

00:11:59.000 There's enough of those now that people are like, well, what the fuck is going on?

00:12:03.000 And if you guys have all this money and all this equipment, is this something that the Chinese are doing or the Russians are doing? 0.77

00:12:09.000 Or is this something that you can't explain?

00:12:11.000 And I think...

00:12:12.000 We're in this area where there's so much information.

00:12:15.000 People can get a hold of so many videos and so much stuff that they kind of have to start talking about it now.

00:12:21.000 Okay.

00:12:23.000 You know, I see how they shut down conversations around the most innocuous of inquiries.

00:12:28.000 That's true, too.

00:12:29.000 They shame pretty hard.

00:12:31.000 Yeah.

00:12:33.000 That's true, too.

00:12:34.000 But when you've got a guy who's like a decorated pilot like Fravor, and he's like, look, I don't have any other crazy stories in my past.

00:12:42.000 He's not a crazy guy.

00:12:43.000 He's a pretty rock-solid, general, all-around American hero type guy. 0.98

00:12:48.000 And he's like, look, I'll tell you what I fucking saw. 0.98

00:12:50.000 And it's pretty crazy. 0.99

00:12:52.000 Those pilots, though, they live a crazy life, don't they?

00:12:55.000 Well, they have to. 0.99

00:12:56.000 I mean, Sex at Dawn, right? 0.55

00:12:57.000 They go faster than the speed of sound. 0.90

00:12:59.000 Oh, Sex at Dawn with the book? 0.90

00:13:01.000 Yeah. 0.72

00:13:02.000 Look, Chris is a good friend of mine.

00:13:05.000 I think...

00:13:05.000 I think there's some of the things that Chris looks at.

00:13:08.000 Chris is kind of a freak.

00:13:09.000 He wants things to be a little on the freaky side.

00:13:13.000 But the idea about the pilots is that they all swipe swapping.

00:13:17.000 Because they think they could die at any moment.

00:13:19.000 They create this bond.

00:13:21.000 Yes.

00:13:21.000 They want someone to love their wife as much as they do.

00:13:24.000 Or maybe they want to fuck their buddy's wife and they're all doing coke. 1.00

00:13:27.000 Maybe that could be it too. 1.00

00:13:29.000 Maybe they're all on fucking meth. 1.00

00:13:30.000 They're all on Donald Trump's diet pills and they want to bag each other's wives. 1.00

00:13:34.000 So you don't think that happened?

00:13:35.000 It probably sure happens, especially during wartime.

00:13:39.000 People shift.

00:13:41.000 War is crazy.

00:13:42.000 The mind shifts when you see bodies, when you've killed people, when you've made these rationalizations, and also you're very aware that someone's trying to do to you what you've done to people, and your entire existence, from dawn till dust, is eliminate the enemy.

00:14:00.000 It's a mindset that people slide right into.

00:14:03.000 My doctor, Dr. Sharp. 1.00

00:14:06.000 That fucking guy? 1.00

00:14:07.000 No, I'm just kidding. 1.00

00:14:12.000 Dr. Sharp.

00:14:14.000 Just kidding, Dr. Sharp.

00:14:16.000 So, Dr. Charles Sharp, he's the greatest endocrinologist.

00:14:20.000 Dr. Charles Glendale?

00:14:22.000 That guy?

00:14:23.000 He's in Pasadena.

00:14:24.000 Oh, okay.

00:14:25.000 I almost said Pasadena.

00:14:26.000 Oh, if you would have said that, it freaks out. 1.00

00:14:28.000 Fuck! 1.00

00:14:29.000 I want Glendale because it's funnier. 1.00

00:14:32.000 I always go Glendale.

00:14:34.000 I always go Glendale.

00:14:36.000 And then I go Glendale and then Torrance.

00:14:43.000 Torrance is a good one too.

00:14:44.000 Torrance is good.

00:14:44.000 It's like, why are you living there?

00:14:46.000 What are you in a Pinto and Taurus?

00:14:50.000 Anyway, so, what was I talking about?

00:14:54.000 Dr. Sharp.

00:14:55.000 Oh, so he said he smoked pot when he was in Vietnam, because I told him I smoked pot, right, just to let him know everything that's happening with me chemically.

00:15:03.000 And he said that, he said, yeah, I did it.

00:15:06.000 I said, did you ever smoke?

00:15:07.000 He goes, yeah, I did it once in Vietnam.

00:15:09.000 He said they would have a helicopter circling the medical, he was a doctor, the medical, and so you could always hear it constantly searching for whatever, people coming to get us, and then all of a sudden I didn't hear it.

00:15:20.000 And it had crashed, right?

00:15:22.000 So I had to go help the guy, and he said, I just smoked pot, and as a doctor, you have to be able to disassociate from what you're doing, and he said, I couldn't.

00:15:30.000 And he said, so when I came up on him, and I could tell this guy was going to be crippled, and I couldn't, it messed me up.

00:15:37.000 He goes, so I never smoked pot again.

00:15:39.000 Wow.

00:15:39.000 And I could see, could you imagine, like, you're new to pot, you know how it makes you sense things extra, especially when you first start, you know how you just extra sense, and then you walk up on a scene like that, like, oh my god, I couldn't imagine that.

00:15:54.000 So that, yeah, I probably would stop smoking pot if Talk about bad trips.

00:16:00.000 Bad.

00:16:00.000 Bad trip.

00:16:01.000 That's as bad as it gets.

00:16:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:16:03.000 Walk up on someone who just crashed in a helicopter in the middle of a war and you're high as fuck and you realize he's crippled. 0.99

00:16:10.000 So let me ask you a question. 0.99

00:16:11.000 When I would travel out of the country, I would always think that, oh, I get like a little cold flu thing every time I travel out of the country.

00:16:20.000 Like I would get night sweats and I would kind of get headaches and I would feel a little flu-y, you know?

00:16:27.000 And then I got this dental implant, and so I didn't, so I want, you know, they say don't smoke or whatever, so I'm like going to be extra good.

00:16:34.000 I didn't smoke for a whole week.

00:16:37.000 I felt like I felt when I go to Europe.

00:16:39.000 So you think you have a physical addiction?

00:16:41.000 Yes!

00:16:41.000 I was like, no way!

00:16:43.000 Wow.

00:16:44.000 I mean, that's why I wanted to ask.

00:16:45.000 Has it ever happened to you when you travel outside the country?

00:16:47.000 No, no, but some people do have that, apparently.

00:16:50.000 Yes, like night sweats.

00:16:51.000 It's the worst.

00:16:52.000 Night sweats.

00:16:53.000 You wake up, and you know, as soon as I take this cover off, it's going to be freezing.

00:16:56.000 Really?

00:16:57.000 Yeah, so I've got to get up and change my T-shirt.

00:16:59.000 I swear to sleep in a T-shirt and jeans.

00:17:02.000 I don't know if you do that.

00:17:04.000 I like to be ready.

00:17:04.000 And Timbalands.

00:17:05.000 I want to go!

00:17:07.000 Now, do you smoke before you go to bed?

00:17:10.000 Is that your move?

00:17:10.000 Of course.

00:17:11.000 Okay.

00:17:11.000 So it helps you sleep.

00:17:12.000 Oh, yeah.

00:17:13.000 Yeah.

00:17:14.000 How about you?

00:17:14.000 No.

00:17:15.000 It doesn't help you sleep?

00:17:16.000 No.

00:17:17.000 No.

00:17:18.000 No, when I smoke pot, I'm awake. 1.00

00:17:20.000 I start thinking about shit. 0.99

00:17:21.000 I don't want to go to sleep. 1.00

00:17:22.000 Oh, it depends what I smoke, right?

00:17:23.000 So there's the thinky pot and then there's the sleepy pot.

00:17:26.000 Yeah, even the sleepy pot makes me...

00:17:27.000 Sometimes.

00:17:28.000 It gives me a burst, but then I smoke this stuff called GMO. Whoa.

00:17:33.000 It is the best.

00:17:34.000 Genetically modified organisms?

00:17:35.000 Oh, I wonder if that's what it stands for.

00:17:37.000 Yeah, exactly. 1.00

00:17:37.000 They're trying to fuck with you. 1.00

00:17:38.000 They're like, this is GMO shit, son. 1.00

00:17:40.000 They are fucking with me. 1.00

00:17:41.000 It's working. 0.99

00:17:42.000 They're genetically modifying the weed, for sure. 0.66

00:17:46.000 Stuff we get today.

00:17:47.000 So I get this at my place over in Eagle Rock.

00:17:50.000 So I was in Portland last week, and it's legal.

00:17:52.000 So I just walk into a pot store, and I go, hey, I'm looking for an Indica high THC. He goes, how about GMO? I go, you're kidding!

00:17:58.000 And it's my fucking bear head. 1.00

00:18:00.000 It was great. 1.00

00:18:01.000 How high is it?

00:18:03.000 It's got like 29% THC. What was that shit that Kevin Smith dropped off? 0.99

00:18:07.000 Wasn't it 42%? 1.00

00:18:09.000 How do you get something 42%?

00:18:11.000 He's going hard.

00:18:13.000 He's an all-day guy.

00:18:15.000 He's one of them all-day guys.

00:18:16.000 He starts off in the morning and just keeps going.

00:18:18.000 Yeah.

00:18:19.000 So that the problem with...

00:18:20.000 Like, I love to take a little puff in the morning with my coffee or what have you.

00:18:25.000 But the problem is, you're giving up your later night buzz.

00:18:29.000 Because I can't get buzzed more than once or twice a day.

00:18:31.000 That's it.

00:18:32.000 Because of my tolerance.

00:18:34.000 And then if I try to smoke more, I'll just get a headache.

00:18:36.000 Do you ever get headaches?

00:18:37.000 No, I don't get headaches from potty.

00:18:39.000 You don't get any of these problems?

00:18:41.000 No.

00:18:42.000 I just get the over-stimulation.

00:18:46.000 I mean, you would call it paranoia, but I kind of welcome it sometimes because I think it's good to be hyper-aware of all these different things.

00:18:54.000 And it makes you appreciate when you're not. 0.86

00:18:56.000 I think that feeling that you get when you get high, when you're like, oh my god, everything is fucking dangerous. 0.95

00:19:01.000 The world is a dangerous place, and I'm going to die someday for sure. 0.95

00:19:05.000 Everyone around me is going to die.

00:19:06.000 I hope they don't die today. 0.89

00:19:08.000 It's like...

00:19:12.000 I'm gonna be 60!

00:19:15.000 And the crazy thing is, like, these feelings, for some reason, aren't there, even though you know those things to be a fact.

00:19:22.000 I know.

00:19:23.000 Like, you know you're, like, basically, like, we are all water balloons.

00:19:28.000 We're, like, water balloons of blood with, like, sticks holding us together.

00:19:31.000 We're so doughy and fleshy and weak and vulnerable.

00:19:36.000 Yeah.

00:19:36.000 And, you know, like that guy when he found that helicopter had crashed.

00:19:41.000 That's what happens to your body.

00:19:43.000 Your body's a very vulnerable thing.

00:19:45.000 It's not very tough.

00:19:46.000 Even the toughest body is very vulnerable.

00:19:49.000 Yeah.

00:19:50.000 Yeah, I know.

00:19:51.000 I watch boxing.

00:19:53.000 Yeah.

00:19:53.000 See him go down.

00:19:54.000 Oh, yeah.

00:19:55.000 Toughest guys in the world.

00:19:56.000 But you know what?

00:19:58.000 I always wondered what...

00:19:59.000 I've been knocked out.

00:20:00.000 You've been knocked out?

00:20:01.000 Yes.

00:20:02.000 Oh, okay.

00:20:02.000 So it's not a big...

00:20:03.000 Like, when you get knocked out and you wake up, you don't know...

00:20:05.000 You're like, did I just get knocked out?

00:20:06.000 I've never been knocked completely unconscious, but I got TKO'd in a kickboxing bout.

00:20:11.000 I got dropped, and then I got hit with a bunch of other punches, and the referee stopped it.

00:20:15.000 Oh.

00:20:15.000 That was more like my, that was a weird, that was the weirdest feeling I had ever had up to that moment was like my legs just stopped working.

00:20:23.000 They just shut off.

00:20:24.000 Like this guy hit me with a left hook.

00:20:26.000 I was conscious, but my legs just went whoop.

00:20:28.000 Oh, that's when they go, his legs aren't there.

00:20:31.000 You always heard them say that.

00:20:32.000 But, like, they literally go out.

00:20:34.000 They go, woo! 0.99

00:20:35.000 And you fell?

00:20:36.000 Oh, yeah.

00:20:36.000 I fell.

00:20:37.000 They stopped working.

00:20:38.000 It's very strange.

00:20:39.000 And it's like your brain gets jostled around inside your head.

00:20:42.000 And also, when you get hit on the jaw, there's nerves behind your jaw.

00:20:47.000 And when the bone of your jaw slams into those nerves, and your head gets rattled, and the brain...

00:20:53.000 All of it together is like everything just goes...

00:20:54.000 What's happening here?

00:20:56.000 You know, sometimes you get knocked unconscious.

00:20:58.000 I didn't get knocked unconscious, but... 1.00

00:21:01.000 My shit just shut off. 1.00

00:21:03.000 I'm always surprised when guys get knocked out, they don't piss themselves. 1.00

00:21:06.000 Sometimes they do.

00:21:07.000 They do a lot of times when you choke them out.

00:21:10.000 Oh, really?

00:21:10.000 Yeah, when you choke guys out, they piss themselves all the time.

00:21:12.000 They shit themselves, too, if they have to shit. 1.00

00:21:14.000 Really? 1.00

00:21:15.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:15.000 They just lose control of their body.

00:21:17.000 So before you go fight, do you try to make sure you don't have to take a shit? 1.00

00:21:20.000 Yeah, sometimes guys do have to take a shit though. 0.99

00:21:22.000 One time, Michael Chiesa, who's a top UFC fighter, right before he was fighting, he looked over at me. 0.99

00:21:30.000 As he got into the cage, he goes, dude, I'm going to shit myself. 0.98

00:21:34.000 He goes, I guarantee you I'm going to shit myself while this fight's going on. 1.00

00:21:37.000 I'm like, fuck! 1.00

00:21:38.000 Why wouldn't he just go to the bathroom? 1.00

00:21:39.000 Couldn't!

00:21:40.000 It was the way it worked out, like, you know, they're calling, okay, you're up.

00:21:43.000 You can feel it's coming, but you can't go right now.

00:21:45.000 Yeah, it's like, oh no, and then he just makes the rock up there, and then all of a sudden, blah, blah, blah, blah, diarrhea, he's like, oh my god, he wound up winning the fight. 1.00

00:21:51.000 But did he shit? 1.00

00:21:52.000 No, he didn't shit himself. 1.00

00:21:53.000 Oh. 1.00

00:21:53.000 I talked to him, he's like, I swore I was gonna shit myself. 1.00

00:21:57.000 I talked to him. 0.74

00:21:57.000 He's a funny dude. 0.74

00:21:58.000 No, I didn't talk about it.

00:21:59.000 I don't think I said it.

00:22:00.000 I don't think I said it, but I talked to him.

00:22:03.000 I talked about it with him after the fight. 0.99

00:22:05.000 He's like, no, I didn't shit myself. 0.99

00:22:06.000 That would be funny. 0.99

00:22:06.000 And we were laughing about it. 0.99

00:22:07.000 If you could talk about it.

00:22:08.000 It's like, I'm going to have diarrhea.

00:22:09.000 Let me talk to you for a second.

00:22:12.000 Have you heard this story?

00:22:14.000 Well, if you do, you know, if you have diarrhea, it's like, it's one of those things, man.

00:22:19.000 I've been on this carnivore diet.

00:22:21.000 Do you know what that is?

00:22:21.000 No.

00:22:22.000 I'm eating only meat for the entire month of January, just to see what it's like.

00:22:26.000 No vegetables.

00:22:27.000 None.

00:22:28.000 Zero.

00:22:28.000 I had an olive, and I had one piece of chili mango.

00:22:32.000 I actually had two pieces of chili mango.

00:22:35.000 And so is this good for you?

00:22:37.000 That's where it gets weird.

00:22:39.000 It's a really good question.

00:22:40.000 I don't know.

00:22:42.000 I don't even know how I feel about it.

00:22:44.000 So where did you get the idea to do it?

00:22:46.000 Everybody's doing it.

00:22:46.000 Oh, really?

00:22:47.000 All the kids. 0.95

00:22:48.000 All the crazy kids. 0.54

00:22:48.000 So I did the Atkins thing. 0.54

00:22:49.000 I did that back in 2001 or something when I needed to lose whatever.

00:22:54.000 I did that.

00:22:55.000 And that does work.

00:22:57.000 It's very similar.

00:22:58.000 It's very similar.

00:22:59.000 In that you're eliminating carbs.

00:23:02.000 You get your body to go into ketosis.

00:23:05.000 You're getting your body to burn fat.

00:23:07.000 The thing about the carnivore diet though is I actually check my piss.

00:23:13.000 With a ketone strip.

00:23:14.000 And it showed that I'm not in ketosis.

00:23:17.000 So you pee on the strip.

00:23:17.000 How could you not be in ketosis?

00:23:19.000 I don't know.

00:23:19.000 I think it's because I'm eating so much meat that when you have too much protein, there's something called glucogenesis, I think it's called, where your body breaks the protein down and turns it into glucose.

00:23:33.000 Yeah.

00:23:33.000 And so that fucks with your ketone levels, and that keeps you from going into ketosis.

00:23:39.000 But it doesn't affect your energy level.

00:23:40.000 My energy levels have been amazing.

00:23:42.000 Like, all day long, I'm flat.

00:23:45.000 I sound like...

00:23:46.000 People always ask me...

00:23:48.000 Why do you always have that cough? 1.00

00:23:49.000 It's this goddamn coffee. 1.00

00:23:51.000 It's layered superfood coffee. 1.00

00:23:53.000 It coats your throat.

00:23:54.000 It's delicious.

00:23:55.000 It is delicious.

00:23:56.000 I love it.

00:23:57.000 When you said, hey, do you like turmeric and you want it in your coffee? 1.00

00:24:00.000 I'm like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:24:01.000 In my head, I was thinking. 1.00

00:24:02.000 These goddamn hippies. 1.00

00:24:03.000 The kids today with the hair and the clothes? 1.00

00:24:05.000 The new math? 1.00

00:24:06.000 And the fucking turmeric in the coffee. 1.00

00:24:08.000 Turmeric in the goddamn coffee. 1.00

00:24:10.000 Come on. 1.00

00:24:10.000 How good is it? 1.00

00:24:11.000 It is amazing.

00:24:12.000 It's amazing.

00:24:13.000 But I drink too much of it.

00:24:14.000 And I'm always a little phlegmy because it's in my throat.

00:24:17.000 I'm not big on American coffee, but this is fantastic.

00:24:19.000 American coffee?

00:24:21.000 How much of it is grown in America?

00:24:23.000 Is there any coffee grown in America?

00:24:25.000 All I know is that when I go to Italy or if I go to Hawaii and I have coffee, it's always better.

00:24:30.000 Oh, Kona has the best coffee on earth.

00:24:32.000 My favorite coffee comes from Kona.

00:24:34.000 Yeah.

00:24:35.000 There's something about Hawaiian coffee.

00:24:36.000 It's the volcanic soil.

00:24:37.000 Is that what it is?

00:24:38.000 Yeah.

00:24:38.000 And that same thing in Italy.

00:24:39.000 There's volcanic soil, which is why their tomatoes taste better and their coffee tastes better and everything tastes better.

00:24:44.000 It's the volcanic soil.

00:24:45.000 I'm pretty sure. 1.00

00:24:46.000 I wonder what does to pussy. 1.00

00:24:47.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:24:48.000 Any questions?

00:24:50.000 I'm going to say...

00:24:53.000 I'm going to say it makes them juicier.

00:24:55.000 Right?

00:24:56.000 Just like a piece of fruit or tomato is juicier.

00:24:59.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:25:02.000 Exactly. 1.00

00:25:03.000 It's so funny you say that because out of nowhere I started talking about on stage last night how I hate the word vagina but I like pussy. 1.00

00:25:11.000 The vagina word is a weird word, right? 1.00

00:25:14.000 Because who's saying that other than the doctor? 0.53

00:25:16.000 Right? 1.00

00:25:17.000 No, you're never in the middle of sex and hear a woman go, stick it in my vagina. 1.00

00:25:21.000 If she did, you'd go, wait, are you sure? 1.00

00:25:24.000 What are you doing?

00:25:24.000 Are you experimenting with me?

00:25:28.000 Are you experimenting?

00:25:30.000 I don't think a woman wants to hear that. 1.00

00:25:31.000 I mean, maybe they have, like, cute little names for it, nicknames.

00:25:34.000 Oh, I had a joke where I would say, I would go, I get it. 0.99

00:25:37.000 We were experimenting the other night, my wife, and right in the middle of sex, I took it out and I stuck it in her vagina. 1.00

00:25:44.000 Wow! 1.00

00:25:45.000 Totally different.

00:25:46.000 Fits like a glove.

00:25:47.000 LAUGHTER Why are shock jokes fun?

00:25:52.000 They're fun.

00:25:53.000 They're fun.

00:25:54.000 Shock jokes are fun.

00:25:55.000 They're always fun for me.

00:25:56.000 I don't like when people say they're cheap.

00:25:58.000 No, they're not cheap.

00:26:00.000 They're different.

00:26:00.000 It's a different thing.

00:26:02.000 There's really clever intellectual jokes and those are great too. 0.97

00:26:05.000 But I love a good fucked up joke. 0.98

00:26:09.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:26:09.000 Especially because you think it's going to be something cleverer and that it's just a no. 0.98

00:26:14.000 Bam.

00:26:14.000 Smash.

00:26:15.000 Right in the face.

00:26:17.000 That's funny to me.

00:26:18.000 It is funny.

00:26:19.000 Yeah, I'm a fan of all kinds of jokes.

00:26:22.000 I like all kinds of comedy.

00:26:23.000 And there's a while where, like, dirty comedy was, like, looked down upon as if it was easier.

00:26:28.000 Well, it was Andrew Dice Clay.

00:26:31.000 So when Andrew Dice Clay happened, so a lot of people started to ape him, right?

00:26:35.000 Because he was very popular.

00:26:36.000 This is going back in the early 90s.

00:26:38.000 I don't know if you were born yet.

00:26:40.000 What?

00:26:42.000 And so comedy clubs started expanding and they had more clubs than there were good comics.

00:26:47.000 So then they started to give free tickets away.

00:26:50.000 And so they started to book...

00:26:52.000 They wanted more generic acts that appealed to people who weren't necessarily comedy fans.

00:26:56.000 So this is my theory about what happened.

00:26:58.000 And so then they would keep it clean because we don't want to offend anybody.

00:27:02.000 It's like, that's not what people are...

00:27:05.000 And that's why they all closed.

00:27:07.000 You know what my opinion on that is?

00:27:09.000 I think... 0.99

00:27:10.000 Bad comedy sucks, but bad dirty comedy makes you angry. 0.99

00:27:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:27:15.000 That's what it is.

00:27:15.000 Well, you know what's funny is I've noticed this.

00:27:18.000 If people watch a musician go up and play, like even an open mic or whatever, and he plays a song or two and you don't like him, you'll still applaud after he's done. 0.98

00:27:25.000 But if a comic goes up and he's not funny, it's like, what the fuck does this guy think he's doing? 0.95

00:27:31.000 People get angry! 0.94

00:27:32.000 Yes, they get angry because you have to listen to the whole thing.

00:27:35.000 You can't even talk during it.

00:27:37.000 It's awful.

00:27:39.000 I always notice that. 0.99

00:27:41.000 You could suck as a musician, people will still apply. 1.00

00:27:43.000 You suck as a comedian. 1.00

00:27:46.000 That's not funny! 1.00

00:27:47.000 If I go to see a musician, I at least appreciate the fact this person can play a musical instrument.

00:27:52.000 Which I can't do.

00:27:53.000 I have no musical talent at all.

00:27:54.000 But I know how to talk.

00:27:56.000 I can talk.

00:27:57.000 Everybody can talk.

00:27:58.000 And pretty much everybody has said at least one thing funny at one point in time.

00:28:03.000 So you know what it's like to say something and then it gets a laugh.

00:28:06.000 You know you can do it.

00:28:07.000 What they've done is just do it more and really put a lot of time into it and craft and act. 0.98

00:28:12.000 But when that act's terrible, You start thinking, I could fucking do that. 1.00

00:28:16.000 Why am I listening to this, idiot? 1.00

00:28:18.000 Well, it was bad comics that made me think I could do comedy. 1.00

00:28:22.000 Oh, for sure.

00:28:23.000 Open mic night, right?

00:28:24.000 Oh, no.

00:28:24.000 I was watching it on TV. Oh, interesting.

00:28:26.000 So I remember when I was in college, we got comedy, like a cable in our dorm room, right?

00:28:32.000 And so I remember I was watching this show...

00:28:35.000 I forget.

00:28:36.000 Maybe it was that one on A&E. It doesn't matter.

00:28:38.000 Even with the improv?

00:28:39.000 No, it was that Rosie O'Donnell one.

00:28:41.000 Oh, yeah.

00:28:42.000 Remember she hosted that one?

00:28:43.000 And then Bobby Collins.

00:28:44.000 I forgot about that.

00:28:45.000 Yeah.

00:28:46.000 Fridays or something like that?

00:28:47.000 I forget what it was called, but Stand Up Spotlight, maybe.

00:28:51.000 Yeah, maybe.

00:28:52.000 I don't know.

00:28:52.000 Oh, that was on VH1. Yeah, that was VH1, I think.

00:28:54.000 Oh, VH1 was Stand Up Spotlight.

00:28:55.000 Yeah.

00:28:55.000 So anyway, whatever.

00:28:56.000 So I'm watching and I see this comic go up and he does like two jokes.

00:29:00.000 I beat him to the punchline on both of them, right?

00:29:02.000 I'm like...

00:29:03.000 He said what I thought he was going to say.

00:29:05.000 And then the third one wasn't even funny.

00:29:07.000 He had inverted the punchline, which I didn't know that's what he did.

00:29:10.000 But I go, he should have put that thing at the end.

00:29:12.000 And then afterwards I go, wait a minute.

00:29:15.000 That guy, I'm funnier than that guy and he's on TV. I think I could do this.

00:29:20.000 Yeah.

00:29:20.000 Right?

00:29:20.000 Like, when I would go to clubs, I would go to Zaney's in Chicago, and those guys would just be hilarious.

00:29:26.000 And I'm like, I could be funny for five minutes at a party, but I can't fucking do that. 0.93

00:29:29.000 Right. 0.84

00:29:30.000 But I didn't realize they were how it went.

00:29:31.000 You do an act, and you work, and you do the whole thing.

00:29:34.000 And so that's why I was like, I can't do that.

00:29:36.000 Those guys are special funny. 0.99

00:29:38.000 And then I saw guys on TV suck. 0.97

00:29:39.000 I'm like, well, I could do that. 0.68

00:29:40.000 I might not be able to go to Zaney's, but I could Well, there was a time during the 80s where there was so many spots and so few comics that some really mediocre comics got on television.

00:29:50.000 Yeah.

00:29:51.000 Really mundane nonsense bits.

00:29:54.000 Yeah.

00:29:54.000 Yes.

00:29:55.000 And they all had that kind of comedy timing.

00:29:57.000 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

00:29:59.000 Well, you're from Chicago, too, which is a rough spot. 0.99

00:30:02.000 Like, it's fucking cold there. 1.00

00:30:03.000 People don't take any bullshit. 1.00

00:30:05.000 It's a different kind of thing. 0.96

00:30:07.000 You know, like, those are the kind of places that make great comics. 0.99

00:30:10.000 Like, fucking cold. 0.99

00:30:11.000 Like, Boston. 1.00

00:30:12.000 Same shit. 1.00

00:30:12.000 New York. 1.00

00:30:13.000 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 1.00

00:30:15.000 You need a little misery and a little egg. 1.00

00:30:17.000 Honk honk, fuck you! 1.00

00:30:19.000 There has to be a need for comedy. 1.00

00:30:22.000 Like I said, I was just in Hawaii, we did shows there.

00:30:24.000 I'm like, man, these people are laid back.

00:30:26.000 Yeah.

00:30:26.000 There's not a lot of great comics.

00:30:28.000 There's a few good comics that come from Hawaii, but not a lot.

00:30:32.000 Yeah.

00:30:32.000 Not a lot.

00:30:34.000 It's hard to be upset.

00:30:36.000 They have a lot of local humor.

00:30:39.000 Comics from Hawaii, I've seen some comics from Hawaii, and they talk about local stuff.

00:30:46.000 Yeah, just like a cruise ship.

00:30:47.000 Yeah, sort of.

00:30:49.000 Yeah, like the guys who live there, they do their whole act as local.

00:30:53.000 Yeah, and a lot of times they're like a morning DJ guy, too, or something like that.

00:30:57.000 Think about it.

00:30:58.000 That's a pretty great line. 0.99

00:31:00.000 Pretty fucking great place to live. 0.99

00:31:01.000 You're a comic and a DJ in Hawaii. 0.99

00:31:04.000 Jeez, you beat it.

00:31:05.000 You did it.

00:31:05.000 You really did.

00:31:06.000 First time I went to Hawaii, I was in Maui.

00:31:08.000 I was working at some stand-up gig book through the Ice House.

00:31:12.000 I get off stage and this guy comes up and we're talking.

00:31:15.000 And I said, where are you from?

00:31:17.000 He goes, I'm from Pittsburgh.

00:31:18.000 I go, really?

00:31:18.000 What did you do there?

00:31:19.000 He goes, I was a plumber.

00:31:21.000 I go, what do you do here now?

00:31:23.000 I go, he goes, I'm a plumber.

00:31:24.000 I go, how do you make it from a plumber in Pittsburgh to Maui?

00:31:27.000 He goes, well, one day I woke up and I realized I could be a plumber in Hawaii or I could be a plumber in Pittsburgh.

00:31:32.000 LAUGHTER It makes all the sense of the world.

00:31:35.000 It makes all the sense of the world.

00:31:37.000 Yeah.

00:31:37.000 If I was a plumber, I'd move there.

00:31:39.000 Yeah, I know a guy who teaches jiu-jitsu there who used to teach in...

00:31:43.000 He actually gave me my first lesson ever in Los Angeles. 0.99

00:31:46.000 And after a while, he was like, fuck this. 0.99

00:31:48.000 What am I doing? 1.00

00:31:50.000 And I could teach in Maui.

00:31:52.000 And the thing about a place like Maui, there's enough people.

00:31:56.000 You need everything.

00:31:58.000 It's not like...

00:31:59.000 Like Lanai, we were talking about earlier.

00:32:01.000 That's a weird spot.

00:32:02.000 Because there's only 3,000 people on the whole island.

00:32:04.000 It's like a good theater show.

00:32:07.000 A good theater show, and those people empty out, and that's the whole civilization.

00:32:12.000 And then there's people that fly in because it's a resort area.

00:32:16.000 I was in Kauai one time, too, and it's similar.

00:32:19.000 After I got off stage, I was like, hey, where can I go to get something to eat?

00:32:22.000 They're like, there's no place to go.

00:32:24.000 You've got to go in the ocean and catch it.

00:32:28.000 That's where Laird lives.

00:32:29.000 Who does?

00:32:30.000 Laird.

00:32:30.000 Laird Hamilton.

00:32:31.000 He lives in Kauai.

00:32:32.000 I don't know Laird Hamilton. 1.00

00:32:33.000 That's the fucking coffee you're drinking, bro. 1.00

00:32:34.000 Oh, this guy. 1.00

00:32:35.000 We talked about him for about a half hour earlier.

00:32:37.000 I'm bad with names.

00:32:39.000 Does that work?

00:32:40.000 Is that a good enough excuse?

00:32:42.000 I'm bad with names.

00:32:43.000 Laird Hamilton is married to Gabriella Reese.

00:32:46.000 Oh, that's okay. 1.00

00:32:46.000 Giant Aquaman motherfucker. 1.00

00:32:48.000 Great coffee. 1.00

00:32:49.000 Yeah, he makes killer coffee.

00:32:50.000 Who thought to put turmeric?

00:32:52.000 Kauai is a spot that I need to get to.

00:32:54.000 I've never been to that one.

00:32:55.000 I've never been to that island.

00:32:56.000 I've only been to Honolulu very briefly during a layover.

00:32:59.000 Actually, the first time I was going to Lanai, we flew in Honolulu first, and then you have to take a puddle jumper to get to Lanai.

00:33:07.000 Oh, yeah.

00:33:08.000 But Lanai is like, there's nobody there, man. 0.80

00:33:10.000 And you go on the beach, there's like fucking eight other families on the beach, and everybody's just like... 0.85

00:33:15.000 Everybody's just chill. 0.97

00:33:17.000 I never sleep better.

00:33:19.000 Oh, my God.

00:33:19.000 I never...

00:33:20.000 I mean, when I was...

00:33:21.000 Relaxing.

00:33:22.000 When I was in Hawaii, I would go to bed at midnight and wake up at 8 in the morning.

00:33:25.000 I'd sleep straight through.

00:33:26.000 You feel great.

00:33:27.000 I'm like, this never happened.

00:33:28.000 And you feel great.

00:33:28.000 Ever.

00:33:29.000 Yeah.

00:33:29.000 I come back to L.A., I'm immediately getting headaches.

00:33:32.000 Immediately. 0.99

00:33:33.000 I'm like, God damn it. 0.99

00:33:34.000 So I go get a drink, and I go to a Mai Tai. 0.99

00:33:37.000 Believe it or not, Maui and Hawaii in general, I think they have some wonky weed laws.

00:33:42.000 I don't think weed's legal there.

00:33:44.000 No, no, it's not.

00:33:45.000 Medical is, I think.

00:33:46.000 That's hilarious.

00:33:46.000 Yeah.

00:33:47.000 Medical.

00:33:48.000 Life is my condition.

00:33:49.000 I know.

00:33:49.000 And what I need it for.

00:33:50.000 Life!

00:33:51.000 Yeah, but I have fans there, so they just give me some.

00:33:56.000 Uh-huh.

00:33:57.000 Do you still ever take pot from fans?

00:33:59.000 Are you afraid?

00:34:00.000 No.

00:34:00.000 Yes.

00:34:01.000 Yeah, me too.

00:34:01.000 Yes.

00:34:02.000 Just, you're asking for it.

00:34:04.000 You are, right?

00:34:04.000 Yeah.

00:34:05.000 Oh, I thought I'd give you a little extra taste.

00:34:06.000 I'd put some acid on there for you. 1.00

00:34:08.000 I don't need that, right?

00:34:09.000 My good friend Ari Shaffir dosed Burt Kreischer when they were doing a podcast together.

00:34:14.000 So that's real?

00:34:15.000 That's real.

00:34:15.000 I thought that was a joke.

00:34:17.000 No!

00:34:17.000 He gave him Molly.

00:34:19.000 Dropped it in his drink.

00:34:23.000 So, was there hard feelings over that?

00:34:25.000 Oh, yeah!

00:34:26.000 There was a real problem!

00:34:27.000 I thought that was all a joke!

00:34:29.000 No!

00:34:29.000 There's no jokes with us.

00:34:31.000 We don't do jokes.

00:34:32.000 I mean, I just saw it on Twitter.

00:34:33.000 Yeah, that's real. 1.00

00:34:34.000 All that shit's real. 1.00

00:34:35.000 No! 1.00

00:34:36.000 Yeah.

00:34:36.000 So they're not pals?

00:34:38.000 Oh, they're back.

00:34:38.000 Oh, okay.

00:34:39.000 The wife hates them still, though. 0.99

00:34:41.000 Burt's wife is still very, very upset.

00:34:43.000 I would have a hard time with that.

00:34:46.000 It's a real issue.

00:34:47.000 Yeah.

00:34:48.000 Doing something like that, that's not right.

00:34:51.000 He knows.

00:34:52.000 He knows it's not right.

00:34:54.000 What's really interesting is we were all joking around about it.

00:34:58.000 This is the only business...

00:35:00.000 Where you can dose your friend, we all joke around about it, laugh about it more, nothing happens.

00:35:06.000 And he actually got a bump in his career.

00:35:08.000 Like, he started selling out places faster, and when he was going places, Ari would be doing shows, and people would yell out, Dose me, Ari! 0.96

00:35:15.000 Dose me! 0.71

00:35:16.000 So now he's known for dosing people.

00:35:19.000 And before that, Ari used to do something, I should say allegedly, because this thing, which may or may not have happened, is very illegal.

00:35:26.000 But he would do, in places where weed was very illegal, he would play a game called Find the Edible.

00:35:34.000 So he posted on Twitter, he'd give people hints, and he would leave some fucking nuclear edible to some North Dakota guy who's going to find it, who probably doesn't get any real weed. 0.87

00:35:46.000 And he's going to get one of those stars of death. 0.96

00:35:49.000 And he got in trouble, I think in Minnesota.

00:35:52.000 Oh, really?

00:35:54.000 Allegedly.

00:35:54.000 Because I don't think they ever found any of the things he was talking about.

00:35:57.000 So maybe it was all just a prank.

00:35:59.000 Let's go with that.

00:36:00.000 Those edibles, man.

00:36:02.000 My brother had something one time.

00:36:04.000 He goes, Jimmy, be careful.

00:36:06.000 It's called the creeper.

00:36:08.000 That's what they call it.

00:36:09.000 And I'm like, I have a high tolerance.

00:36:11.000 Don't worry.

00:36:11.000 So I ate one.

00:36:12.000 I'm like, nothing.

00:36:13.000 So I did it.

00:36:15.000 I ate another one.

00:36:16.000 Oh, no.

00:36:17.000 And about 45 minutes later, we're at a campground talking to my parents, and all of a sudden, I can't remember how to breathe.

00:36:24.000 And I'm like, how do I... And I'm so scared.

00:36:31.000 And I just go, I have to go make a phone call.

00:36:34.000 I'm at a campground.

00:36:38.000 I gotta make a phone call.

00:36:42.000 So I just go to my car, and I'm just laying down, and the next thing I know, I hear my wife behind me go, are you okay?

00:36:47.000 I go, ah, I'm not good.

00:36:48.000 I'm not good.

00:36:49.000 We have to go.

00:36:51.000 She goes, let's go say goodbye to your parents.

00:36:52.000 I can't say goodbye.

00:36:53.000 Let's just go.

00:36:54.000 Oh, no.

00:36:55.000 Oh, no.

00:36:56.000 You just couldn't deal with saying goodbye.

00:36:59.000 Oh, my God.

00:37:00.000 So, yeah, turns out there is some danger to that drug.

00:37:03.000 Oh, well, there's danger with schizophrenia.

00:37:06.000 There's a real danger with people having schizophrenic breaks when they take high doses of edibles.

00:37:13.000 Really?

00:37:13.000 And even smoking it.

00:37:15.000 Yeah.

00:37:15.000 Well, like you were talking about, you get the withdrawals.

00:37:18.000 Yeah.

00:37:18.000 I don't get the withdrawals, but there's a small percentage of people that do.

00:37:23.000 There's a small percentage.

00:37:24.000 Yeah, so that must be like, so people are like, oh, aren't you going to quit?

00:37:28.000 No, if I stop...

00:37:31.000 Just stay high.

00:37:31.000 Yeah.

00:37:32.000 If I dropped drinking coffee when I went overseas, I would get headaches too, right?

00:37:37.000 So there's a lot of things like that.

00:37:38.000 Yeah, coffee is one thing that's addictive that we all just admit, and we just accept it, and we're addicted to it.

00:37:44.000 Because it doesn't really change your state that much where you're freaking out.

00:37:48.000 You never drink a cup of coffee.

00:37:50.000 You're like, man, I can't get up.

00:37:51.000 You're never on the ground tweaking.

00:37:54.000 But I know a couple people who have had legitimate schizophrenic breaks.

00:37:59.000 No kidding.

00:38:00.000 You know a couple?

00:38:01.000 Mm-hmm.

00:38:02.000 Yeah.

00:38:02.000 Yeah, legitimate ones.

00:38:04.000 Legitimate ones.

00:38:05.000 Where, like, something happened, and then they were never the same again.

00:38:09.000 What is schizophrenia?

00:38:11.000 Literally.

00:38:12.000 Yeah.

00:38:13.000 Well, I've heard about that with acid, but I never heard about that with...

00:38:16.000 Well, it's not that much difference.

00:38:17.000 When you take a high-level dose of...

00:38:20.000 It can get psychedelic.

00:38:21.000 ...of edibles, yeah.

00:38:22.000 Yeah, I've had that.

00:38:23.000 It's a different thing.

00:38:23.000 Where you feel like you're tripping a little and you're experiencing the...

00:38:27.000 God save me from the comments, but people get mad at me when I talk about this, but there's a thing that happens when you... 0.98

00:38:32.000 Because I've talked about it so many times, and I know I'm a repetitive fuck, but when you eat marijuana, your body produces something called 11-hydroxy-metabolite. 0.96

00:38:41.000 It's four to five times more psychoactive than THC. So as it's processed by the liver, you get something that's not psychoactive in the smoked form. 0.98

00:38:48.000 So when you smoke it, you get THC. But when you eat it, you get 11-hydroxy metabolite.

00:38:53.000 It's much, much stronger.

00:38:55.000 Much stronger than THC. And it's a totally different sensation.

00:38:59.000 You know, people talk about the body high.

00:39:00.000 Yeah.

00:39:01.000 You feel it everywhere.

00:39:03.000 You really tweak out, too.

00:39:05.000 But small doses of that are wonderful.

00:39:09.000 They have these, Jombo has these sprays.

00:39:13.000 I don't have one with me here.

00:39:14.000 I used to have one on the desk, but it's a THC spray.

00:39:17.000 Just a couple of pumps. 0.69

00:39:19.000 Really?

00:39:20.000 Yeah, it's like a breath spray.

00:39:21.000 A couple of pumps, and it's like, God, you feel great.

00:39:24.000 You feel wonderful.

00:39:25.000 Yeah, but if you take 12 pumps, I took 12 pumps once, and I did a podcast with Sam Harris.

00:39:30.000 Mm-hmm.

00:39:32.000 I took the pumps like 20 minutes before he got here, and then in the middle of the podcast, I'm like, holy shit, I don't know if I can...

00:39:40.000 Thank God, Sam is like a super articulate guy, so I could just kind of throw a question his way, and while he's expanding and talking, I was pretending to listen, but really just trying to keep it together.

00:39:53.000 Trying to keep it together and make sure that I try to sober myself up.

00:39:56.000 I was trying to force myself into...

00:39:58.000 A state of sobriety.

00:40:00.000 I have a...

00:40:01.000 It was about a thousand milligrams.

00:40:03.000 Ouch.

00:40:03.000 Yeah.

00:40:04.000 I have a hard enough time paying attention to conversations when I'm not.

00:40:08.000 Yeah.

00:40:08.000 When I'm completely sober, I'll lose my train of thought.

00:40:11.000 Me too.

00:40:11.000 And I'm like, what are the...

00:40:12.000 Especially if I'm bored, right?

00:40:14.000 Yeah.

00:40:15.000 Not even that. 0.99

00:40:15.000 Even if I'm super interested, I'm interviewing someone, and all of a sudden I'm like, oh, fuck, I'm not listening. 0.99

00:40:21.000 I'm thinking about that thing. 0.97

00:40:23.000 And then they stop talking, and I'm like, huh!

00:40:28.000 Oh, you can't do that.

00:40:30.000 That's the cardinal sin.

00:40:32.000 That's one thing I don't think I do.

00:40:34.000 At least I can't remember.

00:40:36.000 I try to really lock in.

00:40:38.000 Me too, but then my mind will just get...

00:40:40.000 Oh, so I was interviewing Tulsi, and so we came to this important part of the conversation.

00:40:45.000 It was about how she had switched or something about...

00:40:50.000 Yeah.

00:41:04.000 So now I'm like, what is that?

00:41:05.000 Who's talking?

00:41:06.000 And then all of a sudden I'm like, what is it?

00:41:08.000 And then after, I realize that this guy's fallen, it's a scene from a movie, but Tulsi's been talking this whole time.

00:41:14.000 Oh no. 0.99

00:41:14.000 So then I come back and then she stops and I'm like, I don't know what the fuck she just said. 0.99

00:41:19.000 Well that's why you don't want someone else in the room while you're having conversations. 0.98

00:41:23.000 No, no doubt.

00:41:24.000 One time I was talking to a guy, and his girlfriend was sitting right there, and she just kept spinning in her chair and playing with her phone.

00:41:32.000 Spinning in her chair and playing with her phone.

00:41:33.000 And I'm trying to pay attention to him, but I'm just seeing this girl spinning in her chair and playing with her phone. 0.92

00:41:39.000 And then afterwards I was like, no more.

00:41:41.000 No more people in here.

00:41:42.000 Because sometimes people try to come in here, and then you'll see them hold their camera up to take a picture while the podcast is over.

00:41:48.000 I'm like, hey... 0.98

00:41:49.000 You're fucking this thing up, man. 0.99

00:41:50.000 This is a distraction. 0.99

00:41:52.000 Yeah.

00:41:53.000 Like, I don't do live ones.

00:41:54.000 You do live ones.

00:41:55.000 Live what?

00:41:56.000 Live podcasts.

00:41:57.000 Yeah.

00:41:57.000 That's a different thing, though, because you know you're going to be live.

00:41:59.000 Yeah, this isn't?

00:42:01.000 I mean live in front of a group of humans.

00:42:03.000 Oh, you mean with an audience?

00:42:04.000 Yeah, but this isn't live either.

00:42:06.000 Oh, so that's not live.

00:42:08.000 We stopped doing them live, too.

00:42:09.000 It's not live.

00:42:09.000 This isn't live?

00:42:10.000 No.

00:42:10.000 There's a reason for that.

00:42:11.000 Oh, that's good.

00:42:13.000 Why?

00:42:14.000 Want to edit something out?

00:42:15.000 No, because...

00:42:16.000 Because often...

00:42:18.000 The other day on my show, so like when we were in the green room, me, Graham and Ron Placom were going out and do a show.

00:42:24.000 So we'll say things funny to each other that you can't say in public.

00:42:28.000 Like South Park.

00:42:29.000 Right, right.

00:42:29.000 And so we were saying it and it's funny to us.

00:42:31.000 And then I was on the show with Ron and we were talking about...

00:42:34.000 I go, remember when...

00:42:35.000 And I almost said it.

00:42:36.000 And I was like, oh my god!

00:42:37.000 Oh my god.

00:42:38.000 So you know that, you know.

00:42:40.000 Yeah, I do know.

00:42:41.000 How come South Park gets away with that?

00:42:42.000 They're the best.

00:42:43.000 Because first of all, it's cartoons.

00:42:44.000 They don't even look remotely human.

00:42:46.000 And they've been around for so long, they're grandfathered in. 1.00

00:42:50.000 They go fucking hard. 0.99

00:42:52.000 They're so important. 0.99

00:42:53.000 You see the one...

00:42:54.000 With the Harley Davidson motorcycle riders, where they called them all...

00:42:58.000 I don't even know if I can say it.

00:43:00.000 They could say it.

00:43:01.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?

00:43:02.000 They called them all the F word?

00:43:04.000 The N's and the T? Yes. 0.99

00:43:06.000 Yes.

00:43:07.000 Yes.

00:43:08.000 And many more things like that.

00:43:09.000 Good.

00:43:11.000 They still play it on TV. How come they can play it on TV? I can't say it.

00:43:17.000 Well, do you remember a time, there was a time where they used to show those old Roadrunner cartoons.

00:43:22.000 Yes.

00:43:22.000 Where they were hyper-violent.

00:43:24.000 Yeah.

00:43:24.000 Where they were blowing things up and hitting each other in the head with frying pans and shooting each other in the face.

00:43:29.000 And it was okay.

00:43:30.000 Pushing them off a mountain.

00:43:31.000 Because it was old.

00:43:33.000 And so the new cartoons were all sanitized and nerfed up, but the old ones were still on.

00:43:38.000 But you would watch the old ones go, oh, yeah, yeah, this is what it used to be like. 0.99

00:43:42.000 Well, I watched some old Popeye the other day, and Bluto is basically a fucking rapist. 1.00

00:43:49.000 Yes, thank you. 1.00

00:43:50.000 A straight-up rapist just grabbing olive oil. 1.00

00:43:54.000 Like, big fat face with his crazy beard. 1.00

00:43:59.000 And he's like, she's trying to fight him off, and Papa's like, hey, let go of me coil. 0.99

00:44:04.000 And he has to punch her, or punch him, and he fights with Bluto. 1.00

00:44:09.000 Bluto's a rapist. 1.00

00:44:10.000 He dragged her away. 1.00

00:44:12.000 That's what that was. 1.00

00:44:13.000 It's a fucking... 0.99

00:44:15.000 A hundred years ago, right? 0.99

00:44:16.000 Basically a hundred years ago.

00:44:17.000 Popeye was like 1930, so almost a hundred years ago.

00:44:20.000 And humans were just living different back then.

00:44:23.000 I think rape was probably really prevalent. 1.00

00:44:25.000 So prevalent that you could joke around about it in a fucking cartoon. 1.00

00:44:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:44:31.000 So you don't go live now because...

00:44:34.000 Well, a bunch of channels started creating their own channels with my clips.

00:44:40.000 And so this is what can happen.

00:44:41.000 So if you have a channel and then someone says, hey, I'm going to take all your clips.

00:44:46.000 I'm going to take the interesting parts of your podcast.

00:44:48.000 I'm going to make my own channel.

00:44:51.000 And then they can get hundreds of thousands of subscribers with all of your content.

00:44:55.000 Right.

00:44:56.000 And then they can have whatever they want. 0.99

00:44:58.000 So then they can use it as a white power fucking YouTube channel. 0.99

00:45:01.000 They have 500,000 subscribers. 0.99

00:45:03.000 They can use it as a men's rights channel.

00:45:06.000 They can just switch it over and say it's not about Jimmy Dore anymore.

00:45:10.000 Now it's about Bill Burr.

00:45:11.000 They just use your content, which is not legal.

00:45:15.000 And they were doing it while we were doing the show.

00:45:18.000 So while we were doing the show, they were making clips and then uploading them as we were live.

00:45:22.000 While you're still going.

00:45:23.000 Yeah.

00:45:24.000 So they're doing it in real time.

00:45:26.000 Okay, I got it.

00:45:27.000 So we realized that those can be taken down and then we started doing it ourselves and then we realized like the only way to really stop them from doing it in real time is to do it, like film it, have the podcast filmed, and then have the clips cut up and then release it.

00:45:45.000 Okay.

00:45:45.000 Oh, okay.

00:45:46.000 That's one.

00:45:47.000 Okay.

00:45:47.000 That's a big one.

00:45:48.000 The other one was copyright.

00:45:50.000 There's a real problem with copyright strikes. 0.97

00:45:52.000 Like if you get three strikes, they fucking pull your channel. 0.71

00:45:55.000 So did you ever get one? 0.98

00:45:56.000 We've gotten them.

00:45:57.000 We've gotten them before. 1.00

00:45:58.000 For shit that we show... 1.00

00:45:59.000 We've gotten them before for shit that we show in the corner of the screen. 0.99

00:46:02.000 Like the corner of the screen. 0.94

00:46:03.000 Like a photograph or a video or a little tiny thing in the corner of the screen. 0.99

00:46:07.000 We had one where we got one from a fucking... 0.98

00:46:09.000 A guy took a film from his... 0.99

00:46:13.000 It was like a cell phone of a satellite being launched.

00:46:17.000 And we were watching it.

00:46:19.000 We got a copyright strike from that.

00:46:21.000 Just watching something that was on the internet.

00:46:23.000 You can't do it.

00:46:24.000 You can't.

00:46:25.000 People own these things.

00:46:26.000 The big one is nature videos. 0.99

00:46:27.000 Those fucking nature videos when you're seeing a pack of hyenas trying to take out a lion. 0.99

00:46:32.000 If you play that, that's a copyright strike. 1.00

00:46:35.000 They will get you for that.

00:46:37.000 So, I had a copyright strike recently.

00:46:40.000 A first one and only one we've ever had, right?

00:46:42.000 That's a strike, not like, hey, we're going to demonetize.

00:46:45.000 Totally different.

00:46:46.000 I get that all the time.

00:46:47.000 Yeah, that's all the time.

00:46:48.000 But a strike is serious, because they can take your channel down if you get two more of them.

00:46:52.000 And when they do that, they put a timestamp of what is the copywritten audio, right?

00:46:59.000 And someone had put a copyright strike on.

00:47:02.000 At the end of every one of my videos, it goes, do-do-do-do-do.

00:47:06.000 And it's just from iTunes, right?

00:47:08.000 It's a non-royalty thing.

00:47:10.000 It's a chime.

00:47:11.000 It's not even music.

00:47:12.000 Right, so it's from GarageBand or something?

00:47:14.000 Yes, it's from GarageBand.

00:47:15.000 And so that's royalty-free.

00:47:17.000 And so somebody put a copyright strike on that.

00:47:19.000 And I'm like, that's just someone messing with me.

00:47:22.000 That's just a hater.

00:47:23.000 And some guy from Canada who's now living in Thailand.

00:47:27.000 I had a guy track him down.

00:47:29.000 And he's like, yeah, he has no obvious source of revenue.

00:47:33.000 Oh, so he's trolling you.

00:47:35.000 So he's saying, the guy who investigated said he thinks it's intelligence.

00:47:41.000 And so the reason why he took that claim on that was to show that he could take down every one of my videos because that chimes in every one of my videos.

00:47:49.000 So for a while, so until that copyright strike got cleared up, I don't have a liaison.

00:47:54.000 It took a while, and so we took that chime out of all our videos.

00:47:58.000 Jesus Christ.

00:47:59.000 Yeah.

00:47:59.000 Yeah, so that's...

00:48:01.000 Yeah, YouTube is weird, but they're dealing with managing an insane amount of content.

00:48:08.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:48:08.000 Insane amount.

00:48:09.000 And they always err on the side of the copyright holder, and I get why they do that.

00:48:13.000 They do it automatically.

00:48:15.000 We've gotten copyright hits for a screenshot, you know, when you see the video and there's like two heads and there's a small photograph, a screenshot.

00:48:24.000 The screenshot was a photo that someone had took and they were claiming copyright on that photo that was just on the internet.

00:48:32.000 Just because we had it in our screen, we had to change the photo.

00:48:35.000 Really? 0.98

00:48:35.000 Yeah, dude, it's fucking... 0.98

00:48:37.000 I know! 0.99

00:48:37.000 And it's weird because some people... 0.99

00:48:40.000 You have a podcast that's just audio, right?

00:48:44.000 So yeah, I have an audio and video.

00:48:45.000 And video.

00:48:46.000 Some people don't.

00:48:47.000 Some people only have the video.

00:48:48.000 And then that video goes away.

00:48:50.000 You count on that YouTube monetization.

00:48:53.000 There's a lot of people that did that.

00:48:55.000 They counted on that YouTube money.

00:48:56.000 And then YouTube demonetizes things just...

00:49:00.000 Randomly.

00:49:00.000 Like, it doesn't make any sense.

00:49:01.000 Like, I've had a bunch of podcasts with Tom Papa that were demonetized. 0.99

00:49:05.000 Like, that is the fucking... 0.99

00:49:06.000 Craziest thing! 0.99

00:49:07.000 Yeah, he is the, like, the nicest, most...

00:49:10.000 Right, he's not going to offend.

00:49:11.000 Yeah, he's not offensive, he's hilarious, he's a sweetheart.

00:49:14.000 Yeah.

00:49:14.000 Like, Tom Papa, like, how many did they demonetize a Tom Papa?

00:49:17.000 It was like two or three, right?

00:49:19.000 To the point where Papa got, like, really paranoid, and he was thinking, do you think someone on YouTube doesn't like me?

00:49:24.000 There's something going on.

00:49:25.000 So he wanted to contact some people at YouTube, and he went down this journey.

00:49:29.000 I remember he was hosting a pilot on, I don't know, like TBS or something, and I got called in to do like a run-through of it or whatever.

00:49:38.000 And I remember I walked up to him and I go, hey, Tom, how do you get your own TV show?

00:49:43.000 I really want to get one.

00:49:46.000 And he goes, here's what you do.

00:49:48.000 You have to overextend yourself.

00:49:51.000 Buy a house you can't afford.

00:49:53.000 So you get desperate.

00:49:55.000 That's a good move.

00:49:55.000 Good advice.

00:49:56.000 Yeah, and you gotta make this happen.

00:50:00.000 Could you imagine going back to regular TV now, though, with all the freedom that you have?

00:50:03.000 No.

00:50:04.000 I can't even imagine going to the radio.

00:50:07.000 Right.

00:50:08.000 I just got in trouble.

00:50:09.000 I just got in trouble, right?

00:50:10.000 So I have a show that's on KPFK, and they're all nice people.

00:50:12.000 But you can't, because they're a non-profit, there's certain things you can't do.

00:50:16.000 Like, you can't over-endorse.

00:50:18.000 Like, I had a candidate on, and you're not supposed to endorse.

00:50:21.000 And you can't go, hey, go to their website and donate.

00:50:25.000 You can't say any of that stuff.

00:50:27.000 So, yeah, it's just that.

00:50:29.000 I'm like, oh my god.

00:50:29.000 So how'd you get in trouble?

00:50:30.000 What'd you do?

00:50:30.000 So I did that.

00:50:31.000 With who?

00:50:32.000 So that guy, Cenk Uygur.

00:50:34.000 Oh.

00:50:34.000 He's running for that 25th.

00:50:36.000 Dude, what the New York Times did to him was dirty. 0.60

00:50:39.000 That was dirty.

00:50:40.000 I shouldn't say the New York Times, I should say that writer.

00:50:42.000 Whoever that writer is.

00:50:43.000 It was the whole, but there was the LA Times, it was an unbelievable smear.

00:50:47.000 But the New York Times one was the one where they tried to say that his conversation with David Duke, where he was like, oh, of course you're not racist!

00:50:56.000 It was as clear as day that he was joking.

00:51:00.000 As clear as day that he was being sarcastic. 0.99

00:51:03.000 Talking to David fucking Duke. 1.00

00:51:05.000 The grand wizard of the KKK. And he's like, oh, you're not racist. 0.99

00:51:09.000 Of course you're not racist.

00:51:10.000 And then they take that and they put it in quotes.

00:51:13.000 He said to David Duke, of course you're not racist.

00:51:16.000 That's right. 1.00

00:51:16.000 So that's like Mr. Smith goes to Washington shit. 1.00

00:51:19.000 It's dirty. 1.00

00:51:19.000 But I couldn't believe that was the New York Times. 1.00

00:51:21.000 That hurt.

00:51:22.000 That one hurt.

00:51:23.000 Because I was like, who the...

00:51:25.000 You think it's funny?

00:51:26.000 Yes! 0.71

00:51:26.000 The New York Times is horrible! 0.71

00:51:28.000 Oh, don't say that. 0.98

00:51:29.000 They are horrible!

00:51:30.000 That's all I've got left.

00:51:32.000 No, no.

00:51:32.000 That's all I got left.

00:51:33.000 You've got me, Joe.

00:51:34.000 I've got you.

00:51:34.000 You've got me.

00:51:35.000 You've got Kyle Kalinske.

00:51:36.000 Oh, I do.

00:51:36.000 I do have Kyle.

00:51:37.000 I love Kyle.

00:51:38.000 Yeah.

00:51:38.000 I saw your interview with Kyle.

00:51:41.000 I love Kyle. 1.00

00:51:41.000 I heard the shit you said. 1.00

00:51:42.000 We were talking yesterday. 1.00

00:51:43.000 I heard the shit you said. 1.00

00:51:44.000 I said good things about you. 1.00

00:51:45.000 Always.

00:51:46.000 I didn't get that far in.

00:51:47.000 Always.

00:51:47.000 I love you.

00:51:48.000 I quit after you told him he was your favorite news show.

00:51:50.000 Oh, you're my number two.

00:51:51.000 Is that better?

00:51:52.000 I'll take it.

00:51:53.000 I think he's the most reasonable of all the political commentators.

00:51:57.000 But you're a comedian and a political commentator.

00:51:59.000 I think you have a dual purpose.

00:52:01.000 So I have a special category.

00:52:01.000 Well, you're funnier than him for sure.

00:52:03.000 Oh, that's sweet.

00:52:04.000 That's all I care about.

00:52:04.000 He texted me yesterday.

00:52:06.000 New York City was 68 degrees.

00:52:09.000 Yes! 0.99

00:52:09.000 He was like, what in the fuck is going on? 0.99

00:52:11.000 Then he's like, I feel bad because I feel so happy. 0.99

00:52:14.000 It's like seasonal depression.

00:52:16.000 You know when it's sunny out, 68 degrees, like, yeah!

00:52:19.000 Everything's great!

00:52:19.000 Meanwhile, the world's on fire.

00:52:21.000 Yeah.

00:52:22.000 Whatever.

00:52:23.000 It's warm.

00:52:24.000 It is warm.

00:52:25.000 No, he's great.

00:52:26.000 That's the beautiful thing about having corrupt and dishonest media, is that it opens the door for honest media like you and independent guys like yourself, like Pacman, Kalinske.

00:52:37.000 It's easy.

00:52:38.000 There's quite a few.

00:52:39.000 It's easy to outdo them, MSNBC or CNN. It really hurts hearing from a guy I respect, the New York Times is horrible.

00:52:48.000 That's always been what I trusted.

00:52:50.000 Me too!

00:52:51.000 I know, it was tough.

00:52:53.000 It was tough when I realized that mainstream news media is just the mouthpiece for the establishment when it really matters.

00:53:01.000 They're for every war.

00:53:03.000 They're for every war.

00:53:05.000 They're repeaters.

00:53:07.000 Oh, God.

00:53:25.000 That's how they do it.

00:53:27.000 And then Judith Miller, she gets an on-air job on Fox News after that. 0.94

00:53:30.000 She got rewarded.

00:53:31.000 There's that, and then there's probably also access to candidates, access to top officials.

00:53:36.000 Access journalism.

00:53:37.000 If you don't give them what they want, they don't give you access, and this is sort of the game that they've always played.

00:53:43.000 Right.

00:53:43.000 That's exactly right.

00:53:44.000 That they have access, and I've experienced it.

00:53:48.000 But why do you think they want to smear jink?

00:53:52.000 Because they see him as an enemy of the Democratic Party, because he wants to get money out of politics.

00:53:57.000 Right.

00:53:57.000 So that's his big thing.

00:53:58.000 He has Wolfpack, and his whole thing is, I don't take corporate money, and the Justice Democrats, they don't take corporate.

00:54:03.000 So that's his whole thing.

00:54:04.000 Right.

00:54:04.000 It's about getting money out of politics, and they want to keep money in politics.

00:54:08.000 Because if you get money out of politics, their whole grift is over.

00:54:10.000 Right.

00:54:11.000 Right?

00:54:11.000 Nancy Pelosi is not worth $100 million anymore.

00:54:15.000 That's right.

00:54:16.000 How does she get $100 million? 0.99

00:54:17.000 How do you go from $0 to $100 million as you're in Congress? 0.94

00:54:20.000 Well, you're a criminal.

00:54:22.000 That's what Truman said. 0.99

00:54:24.000 Yeah.

00:54:24.000 The only kind of people who get rich while in government are criminals.

00:54:27.000 That's what Truman said.

00:54:28.000 But isn't it some, like, there's forms of insider trading that are legal if you're in Congress that wouldn't be legal if you were a regular citizen?

00:54:38.000 I know that they don't have the rules that they should.

00:54:41.000 I know that.

00:54:42.000 There's rules that, I shouldn't say a regular citizen, but if you were working for a corporation, there's rules like they're allowed to get information and influence in terms of how they invest money.

00:54:53.000 Oh, right.

00:54:53.000 That's not right.

00:54:55.000 That's extra information that I could get.

00:54:57.000 Exactly.

00:54:58.000 It's extra, and then they're allowed to get that information, and then they're allowed to use it for their own personal profit.

00:55:03.000 Somehow or another, that's not been stomped out.

00:55:05.000 Yeah.

00:55:06.000 And there was a video, and I don't know if it's accurate, where someone was explaining how Nancy Pelosi made all that money. 0.92

00:55:12.000 And I was like, if I watch this fucking thing, I'm going to stay up all night. 0.92

00:55:15.000 It was one of those, like, I can't watch any more of this. 0.99

00:55:18.000 Yeah.

00:55:18.000 Well, you have a hundred millionaire is the leader of the People's Party.

00:55:22.000 Isn't that amazing?

00:55:23.000 Not only that, like, what did you do?

00:55:24.000 Did you sell hats?

00:55:25.000 Like, where'd you make that money?

00:55:27.000 What do you do?

00:55:28.000 Do you make cars?

00:55:29.000 Why do you think Nancy Pelosi impeached Trump but didn't impeach George Bush? 0.85

00:55:53.000 I don't know.

00:55:54.000 And so she didn't tell anybody about it.

00:55:56.000 She didn't launch an investigation.

00:55:57.000 She didn't blow the whistle on this.

00:55:59.000 So now she's complicit.

00:56:00.000 So when George Bush, when the Republicans lose the House and she becomes leader and they go, you're going to impeach him, she goes, impeachment's off the table and nobody can figure it out.

00:56:08.000 But nobody pushed her on it because we were just so glad we had a check on George Bush at that time. 0.94

00:56:13.000 Well, Julian DeSantis then reveals there's the memo that shows that she was briefed in 2002 on their torture program, which makes her complicit in torture because she didn't do a goddamn thing about it.

00:56:23.000 Did you see the interview that I did with Edward Snowden?

00:56:28.000 Yeah, I saw the first half.

00:56:30.000 It was very interesting.

00:56:31.000 Nancy Pelosi came up. 0.98

00:56:33.000 She was one of the people that made it so that these cell phone companies have access to your data and can spy on you.

00:56:46.000 And use it.

00:56:47.000 The government can use cell phones and all sorts of telecommunications, essentially. 0.98

00:56:52.000 Video, your voicemail, emails, all that shit. 0.99

00:56:58.000 All that shit can get spied through. 1.00

00:57:01.000 And it was very complicated. 0.99

00:57:03.000 I don't remember the exact...

00:57:07.000 I don't remember the exact scam, but Pelosi was involved in that.

00:57:11.000 There you go. 0.98

00:57:12.000 I mean, they're all corrupt. 0.95

00:57:14.000 That's kind of like the mission of my show, is to remind people how we got Trump.

00:57:18.000 People want to pretend that corruption and lying started in January 2017. The Afghanistan Papers just came out, Joe, that revealed that three administrations in a row lied completely, 100% about Afghanistan from the day they took over to the day they left.

00:57:33.000 Stuff like Donald Rumpfeld saying, we don't even know who the bad guys are.

00:57:36.000 We have no idea who they are.

00:57:38.000 Well, why are we there?

00:57:39.000 Well, maybe because of the couple trillion dollars in rare earth minerals?

00:57:42.000 I don't know.

00:57:43.000 Do you really think that?

00:57:45.000 Maybe it's...

00:57:48.000 We would go to war for minerals?

00:57:50.000 Come on.

00:57:51.000 That's crazy.

00:57:51.000 We would try to steal somebody's natural resources.

00:57:54.000 Do we use upset at what a small story it was?

00:57:58.000 I'm upset.

00:57:58.000 That those papers came out and then no one really even talked about it.

00:58:02.000 And barely got it.

00:58:03.000 Nothing.

00:58:04.000 Nothing.

00:58:04.000 It justifies everything Tulsi Gabbard has been saying.

00:58:07.000 These wars are a lie and bullshit and we got to get out of them. 0.99

00:58:10.000 And that she's not the one lying about them. 0.99

00:58:12.000 The one that's been lying about them has been our government, including Barack Obama.

00:58:16.000 That's what the Afghanistan papers prove, that we've been lied to forever.

00:58:20.000 Tell people what the papers say.

00:58:21.000 So what happened was they did a study, just like the Pentagon Papers, right?

00:58:25.000 They do their own study that reveals that they're lying.

00:58:28.000 So they interviewed 400 people that were like in the generals and in the military and contractors and all these kind of people to find out, so they can know what would happen in Afghanistan.

00:58:38.000 So they revealed all this.

00:58:40.000 The people who they were interviewing revealed all this, that at the beginning of the war, they didn't know who the...

00:58:45.000 They still don't know.

00:58:46.000 Who's the bad guys?

00:58:46.000 Who we're killing?

00:58:47.000 They were lying about...

00:58:48.000 They would lie that it's going well, and then their personal writings would be revealing that they didn't know what the hell they were doing.

00:58:54.000 And so, it's worse than you think, but we can still just keep sending $4 billion a month there.

00:59:01.000 Just keep sending it.

00:59:02.000 Just keep sending it.

00:59:03.000 For what?

00:59:03.000 No one knows.

00:59:04.000 We're not leaving.

00:59:05.000 Trump didn't take us out.

00:59:07.000 He's up for re-election in a couple more months.

00:59:09.000 We're still in Afghanistan.

00:59:11.000 He didn't do what he said he was going to do.

00:59:12.000 Nobody does.

00:59:14.000 That's the problem, and that's why we got Trump in the first place.

00:59:16.000 Because Barack Obama comes in as an anti-war guy, immediately gets rolled by the military-industrial complex, just like Trump did.

00:59:23.000 I did believe that Trump...

00:59:26.000 His druthers would get the hell out of the Middle East, right? 1.00

00:59:28.000 But he doesn't really have any druthers.

00:59:30.000 He's like, okay, I'm done doing that because they've rolled me hard enough.

00:59:34.000 Three years of Russiagate, I'm going to do what they want.

00:59:36.000 Well, you saw the conversation that he had with one reporter.

00:59:38.000 We talked about the military-industrial complex and about how they want to go to war.

00:59:42.000 Yes.

00:59:43.000 I mean, Trump, like, actively, while in office, and this is like an Eisenhower thing, like as he's leaving, while in office, is talking about the military, and it barely got mentioned.

00:59:52.000 I know.

00:59:53.000 And so I think that's why...

00:59:58.000 Yeah.

01:00:07.000 Yeah.

01:00:19.000 Why do I think this happens?

01:00:23.000 It's because just what Eisenhower said as he left, he says, the undue influence of the military-industrial complex.

01:00:29.000 And Joe, imagine, they just invented $131 billion more worth of work for Raytheon and Boeing and Halliburton.

01:00:36.000 How much money does the recording music business make a year?

01:00:40.000 $80 billion?

01:00:40.000 I mean, how much does it?

01:00:41.000 We've just invented a whole other economy!

01:00:43.000 Just since Trump got elected, $131 extra billion!

01:00:48.000 I mean, just think what you could do with that.

01:00:50.000 You could build 131 Yankee stadiums every year.

01:00:54.000 Non-cynically, do you think that a lot of this impeachment stuff and a lot of the scandal stuff is really a distraction for a lot of these things they're pushing through?

01:01:02.000 Yes, it's 100% distraction.

01:01:04.000 Just like I told you, because if they really believe that he was doing all these things, why would they keep giving him extra money to go bomb people at his own business?

01:01:13.000 They don't try to put handcuffs on him. 1.00

01:01:17.000 So that's how you know they're full of shit. 1.00

01:01:19.000 And the reason why they're coming at Trump in the way... 1.00

01:01:22.000 There's ways to...

01:01:23.000 So now they're starting to oppose him because of this Iran thing.

01:01:25.000 So now you turn on CNN and Chris Cuomo goes, hey, why doesn't Congress do its job and take back the war powers that they gave to the president under this AUM? So now, which is what I predicted would happen when Trump...

01:01:36.000 The silver lining of a Trump presidency was all the shit that the Democrats and Republicans have been agreeing on, which is war, fracking, opening the Arctic to drilling, all that stuff, gassing immigrants at the border. 0.99

01:01:48.000 Now we're all going to become aware of it. 0.99

01:01:50.000 Well, the Democrats spent three years doing frickin' Russiagate, so they didn't ever oppose him on that stuff, and they let him keep doing it.

01:01:56.000 And so now people are starting to become aware of what's happening.

01:01:59.000 And so now Chris Cuomo is going, hey, why don't we, why doesn't Congress do their job? 0.93

01:02:04.000 Why are you letting crazy President Trump?

01:02:06.000 Well, they just gave him 131, they gave him his spying powers.

01:02:11.000 Again, through the Patriot Act.

01:02:12.000 This guy who's working for Putin, you're gonna give him spying powers? 1.00

01:02:15.000 You fuckin' bullshitter! 1.00

01:02:18.000 They're all fucking bullshitters. 1.00

01:02:21.000 It's a weird scam. 1.00

01:02:23.000 Yeah, Joe, if you thought a guy was working for Putin, would you give him an extra $131 billion to go bomb anybody at his own pay?

01:02:29.000 By the way, that's also intelligence.

01:02:30.000 Is that a rhetorical question?

01:02:31.000 Yes.

01:02:37.000 So that's why people give me a hard time about supporting Tulsi.

01:02:43.000 I think it's really important to have an anti-war voice that speaks from experience.

01:02:49.000 She's actually in the military right now.

01:02:51.000 She actually volunteered to go serve in their illegal wars, and then they smear her for it. 0.97

01:02:57.000 It's kind of amazing.

01:02:58.000 Well, she's a weird one, right? 0.68

01:03:00.000 Because she has so many characteristics that you would think that everyone who's a progressive would want as a president. 0.99

01:03:06.000 She is a veteran who twice served overseas, twice deployed.

01:03:12.000 She's been a veteran for a long time.

01:03:13.000 Long time Congresswoman.

01:03:15.000 She's from Hawaii. 1.00

01:03:16.000 She's, I mean, I guess she's Hawaiian.

01:03:19.000 You would say she's a woman of color? 1.00

01:03:20.000 They say she's a woman of color. 0.99

01:03:22.000 What color?

01:03:23.000 She's like a light beige? 1.00

01:03:25.000 She's tanner than me.

01:03:26.000 Is she?

01:03:27.000 Well, she lives in Hawaii.

01:03:28.000 That's why.

01:03:28.000 Yeah.

01:03:29.000 I don't know about these things.

01:03:31.000 I'm white.

01:03:31.000 I don't know.

01:03:32.000 But it is, really.

01:03:32.000 I mean, the Hawaiian roots are essentially Polynesian and South Pacific travelers who landed thousands of years ago on those islands.

01:03:40.000 So, yeah.

01:03:40.000 I mean, it is essentially a person of color.

01:03:43.000 Either way, she's a very articulate, rock-solid woman, and they've tried to find a bunch of dirt on her, and they can't.

01:03:50.000 And they don't know what to do. 0.80

01:03:51.000 And it's just funny to me that a lot of people who are supporting Elizabeth Warren were shitting on Tulsi as hard as they can. 0.91

01:03:57.000 And of course, Elizabeth Warren shows her true color. 0.96

01:04:00.000 She does a right-wing sexist smear on Bernie Sanders is what's happening. 1.00

01:04:03.000 That was weird.

01:04:04.000 What a crazy thing to do.

01:04:05.000 It was a fake smear.

01:04:07.000 Nobody's buying that.

01:04:08.000 So it was her, the media, and the DNC got together and they were like, hey, let's do this.

01:04:13.000 Because it was coordinated.

01:04:14.000 This didn't come out of nowhere.

01:04:15.000 Right.

01:04:16.000 And CNN, do you see that story?

01:04:18.000 CNN wrote these two people who heard it from these other two people who we're not even going to name.

01:04:22.000 And that's on CNN. That's CNN! That's how they do it.

01:04:25.000 That's so crazy.

01:04:26.000 It's so crazy, yes.

01:04:27.000 They're digging their own grave, though.

01:04:28.000 What they're doing is they're making themselves less and less relevant, and they're making guys like you and independent people more and more relevant and more and more trustworthy.

01:04:37.000 And that's why they keep going to the catnip of Russiagate or Trump's tweets or impeachment and this phone call to the thing.

01:04:44.000 And look how the media runs interference for the establishment. 0.99

01:04:48.000 It's amazing to pretend that the Bidens aren't corrupt.

01:04:53.000 I know.

01:04:53.000 Hilarious.

01:04:54.000 And to have people come out and go, that's a lie.

01:04:56.000 That's no corruption.

01:04:56.000 It's been looked into.

01:04:58.000 There's no corruption that a guy has an $83,000 job on a board in a country his dad just helped overthrow? 1.00

01:05:04.000 What are you, fucking crazy? 1.00

01:05:05.000 That seems like it might be a little corrupt. 1.00

01:05:07.000 Well, the conversation where he tells the prosecutor that if he's not gone, you don't get the billion dollars, what do you know?

01:05:15.000 They fired the guy.

01:05:16.000 Right.

01:05:16.000 You saw that video.

01:05:17.000 So yeah, I saw that video, but the defense to that is they're saying, but that prosecutor was corrupt, and the next guy was even more tougher of an investigator, but that guy was investigating Burismo at the time.

01:05:28.000 Yeah.

01:05:28.000 And that guy did say later, that guy who got fired, said, I got fired because I was investigating Burismo.

01:05:32.000 He said that in a court document.

01:05:35.000 So, believe me, why didn't they impeach Trump on the Emoluments Clause?

01:05:40.000 Why didn't they do that? 1.00

01:05:41.000 Why did they do it on this bullshit? 1.00

01:05:43.000 So that's him benefiting off his position in government. 1.00

01:05:45.000 It's because they all do it!

01:05:48.000 Why do you think?

01:05:49.000 Because it would bring up everything!

01:05:51.000 It would have to, right?

01:05:52.000 That's right.

01:05:53.000 Hey, Hillary Clinton, I mean, Chelsea Clinton just got a $9 million job for... 1.00

01:05:56.000 She deserves it.

01:05:57.000 Oh, my God.

01:05:57.000 She did.

01:05:58.000 She did.

01:05:58.000 She's the best.

01:06:00.000 So, and people are saying that.

01:06:02.000 People are saying, what's wrong with a woman using her degree? 1.00

01:06:04.000 She has three degrees.

01:06:05.000 I wonder how she was able to afford those three degrees. 0.99

01:06:08.000 I wonder.

01:06:08.000 She overcame all those obstacles?

01:06:10.000 Did she?

01:06:10.000 She did.

01:06:12.000 You know what I mean?

01:06:13.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:06:14.000 So, they're all corrupt. 0.97

01:06:15.000 Then that's the story, and that's why we have Donald Trump. 0.60

01:06:19.000 And they're clinging to this system.

01:06:20.000 That's why we don't have a functioning medical system or a functioning banking system, because Barack Obama was paid off by the health insurance companies and the Wall Street banks.

01:06:30.000 And that's not me saying that.

01:06:31.000 That's Dylan Radigan, award-winning Bloomberg reporter, says that.

01:06:35.000 How'd they pay him off?

01:06:37.000 Well, he has a...

01:06:38.000 I don't know if you noticed, he just bought a house at Martha's Vineyard from the guy who owns the Celtics.

01:06:43.000 But he sells hats or something.

01:06:44.000 He has 49 acres.

01:06:46.000 He's got a lot of money.

01:06:47.000 That's more acres than Kevin Hart.

01:06:49.000 Wow.

01:06:51.000 That's a lot of acres.

01:06:52.000 That is a lot of acres.

01:06:53.000 Yeah.

01:06:53.000 That's the guy who's a community organizer.

01:06:55.000 I guess it was a gated community organizer.

01:06:57.000 I don't know.

01:07:02.000 But how do they pay him off? 0.99

01:07:03.000 Fucking love comedy. 0.99

01:07:04.000 How does that work where it's legal? 0.99

01:07:07.000 How does the president get paid off?

01:07:09.000 When he left the presidency, he goes windsurfing with Branson for a while, right?

01:07:15.000 As we still don't have clean water in Flint.

01:07:18.000 And then when he comes back in the public life, the first thing he does is he goes to make speeches for equity firms.

01:07:24.000 He had a half a million to pop for a 20-minute speech.

01:07:26.000 What do you think that is?

01:07:28.000 What do you think all this is?

01:07:29.000 It's a bribe.

01:07:30.000 It's an after-the-fact problem.

01:07:32.000 Yes!

01:07:32.000 But it's amazing that they still honor that.

01:07:34.000 They're so rock-solid in their commitment to this corrupt system that even after the guy can't even help him anymore, he's out of office, they hook him up with these speaking jobs.

01:07:44.000 Right.

01:07:44.000 He gets a half a million bucks a pop.

01:07:47.000 Whatever he wants to do.

01:07:48.000 Wasn't that a thing about the Clinton Foundation where Bill Clinton would make sure that he got speaking gigs along with...

01:07:59.000 The weapons deals that she was giving? 0.96

01:08:01.000 Yes.

01:08:01.000 This is correct.

01:08:03.000 Again, we didn't get Trump because the Democratic Party was doing their job. 0.92

01:08:09.000 The people got desperate and decided to take a chance on a political novice game show host who they knew was a bullshitter. 0.99

01:08:16.000 Everybody knows Trump's a bullshitter. 1.00

01:08:18.000 They were like, good, go bullshit those people we hate. 1.00

01:08:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:08:21.000 And I've been imploring the Bernie campaign, which nobody listens to me, so it doesn't matter.

01:08:26.000 Why don't they listen to you?

01:08:29.000 I don't know, maybe because I communicate in a caustic way, Joe.

01:08:36.000 But I've been trying to...

01:08:38.000 Bernie should be wiping the floor with these candidates. 0.97

01:08:43.000 It shouldn't even be close, right?

01:08:46.000 And so I've been imploring them, Bernie, take the gloves off.

01:08:50.000 Would you quit?

01:08:50.000 I'm turning to Joe Biden and saying, my best friend Joe Biden.

01:08:53.000 You've got to do what Trump did, what Trump was running.

01:08:55.000 He ran against the Republican Party.

01:08:57.000 He ran against all those pukes that the people are sick and tired of, that the people have been let down by.

01:09:02.000 These are the people who took you to Iraq.

01:09:03.000 These are the people who took you to Libya.

01:09:05.000 These are the people who are bankrupting you.

01:09:07.000 So that's what he did. 0.97

01:09:08.000 And Bernie gets up and he goes, Joe, my good friend, I just wanted to let you know you're corrupt. 1.00

01:09:12.000 It's like, quit saying you're friends with these fucking guys who are corrupt. 1.00

01:09:17.000 He could land it. 1.00

01:09:18.000 He should turn.

01:09:19.000 And I've been begging.

01:09:20.000 He came close in the last debate.

01:09:22.000 Do it in his voice.

01:09:23.000 What should he say?

01:09:24.000 I'm not good at impressions.

01:09:25.000 Mike McCray is the best.

01:09:27.000 You got right there.

01:09:28.000 That was a pretty good one.

01:09:28.000 Joe?

01:09:30.000 Biden? 0.99

01:09:31.000 The reason why you can't understand how Medicare for All works is because you're corrupt. 0.93

01:09:37.000 And you're paid not to understand. 0.51

01:09:38.000 And we're going to get rid of your brand of corruption when I'm president. 0.91

01:09:42.000 Because you're the problem. 0.99

01:09:44.000 Oh my god. 0.90

01:09:45.000 People would go crazy? 0.99

01:09:46.000 The place would go fucking crazy. 1.00

01:09:48.000 Then Elizabeth Warren would stand up for Joe Biden and call him a sexist piece of shit. 1.00

01:09:51.000 That's right. 1.00

01:09:52.000 And everybody would see what the game is.

01:09:53.000 Wasn't he like always in support of Elizabeth Biden?

01:09:56.000 Yeah.

01:09:56.000 Elizabeth Biden.

01:09:57.000 Elizabeth Biden.

01:09:58.000 Elizabeth Warren.

01:09:59.000 Wasn't he always in support of her?

01:10:01.000 Joe Biden?

01:10:02.000 Yeah.

01:10:03.000 No, no, no, no.

01:10:04.000 Bernie Sanders.

01:10:04.000 Bernie was always in support of Warren.

01:10:06.000 Yeah, so Elizabeth Warren was like, hey, Bernie's policies are pretty popular. 1.00

01:10:10.000 I'll pretend like they're mine. 0.72

01:10:11.000 Yeah, well, she was a Republican. 0.99

01:10:13.000 People forget that.

01:10:13.000 Up until she was 47 years old, right?

01:10:15.000 People forget that.

01:10:16.000 Yeah, while Bernie was running around telling people that a woman could be president, she was still a Republican. 1.00

01:10:21.000 Yes.

01:10:22.000 FYI. Yeah.

01:10:23.000 So it's amazing that, you know, it's like, is anybody going to vote for Elizabeth Warren over Bernie?

01:10:28.000 It's like vaping.

01:10:29.000 That's what I say.

01:10:29.000 It's like, just smoke the real thing.

01:10:31.000 There's a real thing.

01:10:32.000 Right?

01:10:33.000 Well, there's a lot of people out there that still just want a woman president. 1.00

01:10:37.000 That's right.

01:10:37.000 And I understand that, but you can't let identity trump policy.

01:10:44.000 You got to, you know, that's identity politics.

01:10:47.000 Well, we're going to have a woman who's not as good as a guy, or we'll have a woman who could be... 1.00

01:10:51.000 It's like, no, you're supposed to marry them together.

01:10:54.000 You know, you can't just, just because of her identity, that's not good.

01:10:57.000 Trump's going to torture her. 0.99

01:10:58.000 If she makes it, if she becomes the nominee, that Pocahontas shit, she's never... 1.00

01:11:02.000 She couldn't handle Meghan McCain the other day on The View. 0.99

01:11:04.000 Did you see that?

01:11:05.000 How Meghan McCain twisted into a pretzel to get her to say Soleimani was a terrorist?

01:11:09.000 It was unbelievable the way she did.

01:11:11.000 Did she really?

01:11:12.000 Why don't you say he's a terrorist, though?

01:11:13.000 Well, and then she does that... 1.00

01:11:15.000 Do it, but puff your cheeks out.

01:11:17.000 No? 1.00

01:11:20.000 How do you get away with shit? 1.00

01:11:22.000 What do you mean? 1.00

01:11:23.000 What did I do?

01:11:23.000 I don't know, I'm just saying.

01:11:25.000 I said, puff your cheeks out?

01:11:26.000 Is that a problem?

01:11:29.000 Are we supposed to pretend she's not fat? 1.00

01:11:31.000 Who?

01:11:32.000 Who are we talking about?

01:11:33.000 Have you ever seen Tim Dillon do his version of Meghan McCain?

01:11:36.000 No.

01:11:37.000 Oh, I'm going to get you something beautiful right now.

01:11:40.000 Oh, really?

01:11:40.000 I'm going to show you something amazing.

01:11:42.000 So there's this tape somebody put together of Meghan McCain saying, my father.

01:11:45.000 Have you seen that one where she says it over and over and over?

01:11:47.000 So I started, I was in Ventura, California.

01:11:49.000 I was playing that clip, like as a joke, like we're all going to laugh. 0.99

01:11:53.000 There was almost a fucking riot at my show. 0.98

01:11:55.000 People made me stop playing it. 0.99

01:11:57.000 They didn't want to see it.

01:11:58.000 At first I thought they were like cheering because they cheer often at my show.

01:12:02.000 And then I'm like, oh no, they're screaming.

01:12:04.000 Oh, Ventura's a sketchy spot.

01:12:07.000 Ventura's like, why?

01:12:08.000 You know, it's one of them torrents places.

01:12:10.000 Like, what are you doing here?

01:12:13.000 Watch this.

01:12:13.000 Play it from the beginning and give me some volume.

01:12:16.000 Okay, watch this.

01:12:17.000 This is Tim Dillon.

01:12:18.000 Before my father died, I had a baby with him.

01:12:21.000 And it will be raised in captivity.

01:12:24.000 It'll be raised privately to be the greatest politician that has ever lived.

01:12:29.000 My name is Meghan McCain and I'm on a news show called The View. 1.00

01:12:32.000 And Donald Trump, that fucking riverboat casino captain, is talking shit about my father again. 1.00

01:12:37.000 My father was tortured for a hundred years for this fucking country. 1.00

01:12:41.000 And he came back and he started seven wars because he's a gentleman. 1.00

01:12:45.000 Fuck you, Trump. 1.00

01:12:46.000 I'm gonna wear my father's skin mask and I'm gonna primary Trump from the right. 1.00

01:12:51.000 Come on The View, bitch. 1.00

01:12:52.000 If you're that tough, come on The View! 1.00

01:12:55.000 You want it, Alessandro?

01:12:56.000 You want this? 1.00

01:12:57.000 You want this shit? 1.00

01:12:59.000 You want to fuck these tits, Trump? 1.00

01:13:01.000 You want to fuck these tits? 1.00

01:13:03.000 No, you don't. 1.00

01:13:04.000 You want to suck cock! 1.00

01:13:05.000 But I won't fuck you, because the only person I'll fuck is Danny! 1.00

01:13:09.000 I'll fuck his corpse! 1.00

01:13:10.000 I'll fuck Danny's corpse! 1.00

01:13:18.000 He's the best. 1.00

01:13:19.000 That impression.

01:13:20.000 I have a baby.

01:13:22.000 Raised in captivity.

01:13:26.000 Raised in captivity.

01:13:30.000 He's an animal.

01:13:31.000 Wow, who is that?

01:13:32.000 Tim Dillon.

01:13:33.000 Oh, that's funny.

01:13:34.000 Where's he from?

01:13:34.000 Hilarious comic.

01:13:35.000 He's a New York guy.

01:13:36.000 He's out here now.

01:13:36.000 Oh, that's funny.

01:13:37.000 Oh, my God.

01:13:38.000 He's hilarious.

01:13:39.000 Don't you love being a comedian?

01:13:40.000 Oh, I love it.

01:13:41.000 I love guys like him. 0.99

01:13:43.000 That, to me, there's not a fucking filter to be found. 0.98

01:13:48.000 Not a filter to be found. 0.99

01:13:50.000 He's just...

01:13:51.000 He's got a hair job.

01:13:54.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.97

01:13:56.000 And he's gay, too. 0.97

01:13:57.000 No! 0.96

01:13:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:13:58.000 So he's got, like, a free pass to get wild.

01:14:01.000 When you're gay, you can get away with more shit. 1.00

01:14:03.000 I know. 1.00

01:14:03.000 Don't you wish you were gay? 1.00

01:14:04.000 You can say more things. 1.00

01:14:04.000 I wish I was gay. 1.00

01:14:05.000 You can say crazy shit about women. 1.00

01:14:07.000 Lots of stuff. 1.00

01:14:08.000 He went around as Jeffrey Epstein's temple.

01:14:10.000 Ha ha ha!

01:14:12.000 Ha ha ha!

01:14:13.000 Ha ha ha!

01:14:16.000 He dressed up like Jeffrey Epstein's temple. 1.00

01:14:19.000 Which, by the way, that temple is fucking... 0.99

01:14:20.000 How strange is that? 0.99

01:14:22.000 That it's the same colors as the Israeli flag?

01:14:24.000 Jesus Christ.

01:14:25.000 Oh, yeah?

01:14:26.000 Yeah.

01:14:27.000 It looks like the Israeli flag.

01:14:28.000 Okay.

01:14:29.000 Yeah.

01:14:31.000 Who's that, Chuck Schumer, walking away from him?

01:14:32.000 That's what I look like, Chuck Schumer.

01:14:34.000 Yeah.

01:14:35.000 Oh, wow.

01:14:36.000 That was funny.

01:14:36.000 Thanks for playing that.

01:14:37.000 Oh, he's hilarious. 1.00

01:14:38.000 He does a lot of shit. 1.00

01:14:39.000 He works. 1.00

01:14:41.000 He puts in a lot of time.

01:14:43.000 He does a lot of things.

01:14:44.000 A lot of content. 1.00

01:14:45.000 He puts out a lot of shit. 0.99

01:14:46.000 And he's a really funny comic, too. 1.00

01:14:48.000 I gotta do more comedy.

01:14:50.000 What's been going on?

01:14:52.000 You haven't been doing a lot?

01:14:53.000 I go out, but it's like I don't drive as far as I should.

01:14:57.000 Do you go to the store at all?

01:15:00.000 You know what?

01:15:01.000 I've never worked at the store.

01:15:02.000 How dare you?

01:15:03.000 I did actually send an email.

01:15:04.000 I go, hey, I want to do my show down at the store in La Jolla.

01:15:06.000 Yeah?

01:15:07.000 Because I want to go to San Diego again.

01:15:09.000 I love La Jolla.

01:15:10.000 Do you?

01:15:10.000 Oh, that club is one of the greatest clubs in the world.

01:15:13.000 The store down there?

01:15:14.000 That store down there is perfect.

01:15:15.000 It's perfect.

01:15:16.000 It's like a perfect comedy club.

01:15:18.000 I sent an email.

01:15:19.000 I didn't get it returned.

01:15:20.000 Oh, no.

01:15:21.000 Well, they're probably booked.

01:15:23.000 They're so booked.

01:15:24.000 Everything's booked.

01:15:25.000 The store's never been more popular.

01:15:28.000 Right now, it's sold out every night.

01:15:29.000 Yeah, I know.

01:15:30.000 I should start going there. 1.00

01:15:32.000 I just gotta get out of my ass. 1.00

01:15:33.000 I just gotta get off my... 0.99

01:15:34.000 You know, I go to Flappers, which is in Burbank, so it's real close to my house.

01:15:39.000 And I go up there a couple times a week, and it feels good.

01:15:41.000 Then I go to the Comedy Magic Club on the weekend.

01:15:44.000 That's a good club.

01:15:44.000 That's a great club.

01:15:45.000 And I go to the Improv randomly.

01:15:47.000 Yeah.

01:15:49.000 So that's pretty much my...

01:15:51.000 How often are you getting up a week?

01:15:53.000 Just...

01:15:53.000 Maybe, you know, two or three times.

01:15:56.000 That's not too bad.

01:15:57.000 That's not too bad.

01:15:58.000 It's not good.

01:15:58.000 Yeah, I'm doing three sets tonight.

01:16:00.000 See, that's what I'm talking about.

01:16:01.000 Yeah, you gotta do a lot.

01:16:03.000 Comedy's reps.

01:16:04.000 It's all about reps.

01:16:05.000 It's like my friend Alan Havy goes to New York, and now he works at the Comedy Cellar.

01:16:11.000 They have like three venues now, so he just has to make one call and he gets three sets a night.

01:16:15.000 I'm like, oh...

01:16:16.000 If I could just go out, and even after the travel far, it's like all real close.

01:16:20.000 Yeah, there's nothing better than doing three sets a night, right?

01:16:23.000 Well, stand-up is like, I feel like it's like running.

01:16:25.000 Like, you want runner's endurance, you want to be in shape, you got to run.

01:16:28.000 You have to run.

01:16:29.000 In stand-up, you have to do stand-up.

01:16:30.000 You do it, you get into it.

01:16:31.000 You get the rhythm, you get the groove, you feel it.

01:16:34.000 Once you start overthinking it.

01:16:36.000 Yeah.

01:16:36.000 And that happens.

01:16:37.000 You know, if you have too much of a break, for me anyway, I start to overthink it.

01:16:42.000 Of course.

01:16:42.000 I start to get nervous.

01:16:43.000 Yeah, of course.

01:16:44.000 Of course.

01:16:44.000 Do you get nervous?

01:16:45.000 Oh yeah, if you take time off.

01:16:46.000 I was...

01:16:47.000 You feel uncomfortable.

01:16:48.000 That's the best way to describe it.

01:16:49.000 It's not necessarily nervous because I know jokes.

01:16:51.000 I know how to tell them.

01:16:53.000 Right.

01:16:53.000 But I don't feel comfortable.

01:16:54.000 Right.

01:16:55.000 Yeah.

01:16:55.000 It's a totally...

01:16:56.000 Yes.

01:16:56.000 I was in...

01:16:57.000 So I was just in Portland this last weekend.

01:17:00.000 Do you helium up there?

01:17:01.000 No, I do the Alberta Rose Theater.

01:17:04.000 And...

01:17:09.000 Yes.

01:17:24.000 Yes.

01:17:34.000 So you ate while you were on stage?

01:17:37.000 Yeah, so I just got a calzone.

01:17:38.000 How did the people handle it?

01:17:40.000 They all went and got calzones.

01:17:41.000 They sold out.

01:17:42.000 So you had a break?

01:17:43.000 No, just as I'm doing the show.

01:17:45.000 I had three people up on stage with me.

01:17:47.000 Are you in the calzone business?

01:17:49.000 Are you the Nancy Pelosi of calzones?

01:17:51.000 Is that what's going on?

01:17:52.000 You know, I have some interests.

01:17:55.000 In calzones.

01:17:56.000 I don't know how you can do that.

01:17:58.000 I've often looked... 0.99

01:17:59.000 I'll be on stage and I look down at the chicken wing and I'm like, I could eat that fucking thing right now. 0.99

01:18:03.000 Really? 0.98

01:18:04.000 Yeah, so as soon as my nervousness goes away...

01:18:06.000 You get hungry?

01:18:07.000 Yeah.

01:18:08.000 That's so weird.

01:18:09.000 Yeah.

01:18:09.000 While you're on stage, you get hungry.

01:18:11.000 Yeah, because my nervousness goes away.

01:18:13.000 I don't know how many times I can say this.

01:18:15.000 No, I understand.

01:18:16.000 So before that, because of the nervousness, you can't eat.

01:18:19.000 Yeah.

01:18:19.000 So you go on stage hungry?

01:18:21.000 Yes.

01:18:22.000 But you probably should be hungry.

01:18:23.000 But I don't feel hungry when I go on stage.

01:18:24.000 I just feel like a knot or whatever.

01:18:26.000 And then the nervousness goes away.

01:18:28.000 He's doing well. 0.99

01:18:29.000 And then you're like, I gotta fucking eat something. 0.99

01:18:31.000 You go on stage and you do two and a half hours? 0.99

01:18:34.000 Yeah.

01:18:34.000 Whoa.

01:18:36.000 It's a lot of time.

01:18:37.000 Well, it's not stand-up.

01:18:38.000 I have video.

01:18:39.000 That's right.

01:18:40.000 You're doing your show.

01:18:41.000 Video.

01:18:41.000 Doing a video show.

01:18:42.000 But we write jokes for the videos and everything.

01:18:44.000 It's not just guys doing a podcast.

01:18:46.000 Right.

01:18:46.000 That makes a little more sense that you want to eat in the middle of it.

01:18:49.000 Yeah.

01:18:49.000 A little more sense.

01:18:50.000 Because if you're on stage doing your act...

01:18:52.000 Oh, yeah, you can.

01:18:53.000 If I'm doing my act...

01:18:54.000 That's why I said I'm often doing my act.

01:18:55.000 I'd look like I'd like to have a piece of that chicken.

01:18:57.000 You can't do that.

01:18:58.000 Like, I could play a video that's going to be a minute, and I've got...

01:19:02.000 Oh, so that's what you do?

01:19:03.000 And then you come back. 1.00

01:19:04.000 Do you worry about shit flying out of your mouth while you're talking? 1.00

01:19:07.000 I do not worry about that. 1.00

01:19:08.000 You should, right?

01:19:09.000 Because the people already like me.

01:19:10.000 Oh, okay.

01:19:11.000 That's a good way of looking at it.

01:19:12.000 Yeah.

01:19:12.000 You know, it's such a freeing...

01:19:15.000 I don't have to convince anybody.

01:19:17.000 And that's the weird thing with my kind of comedy.

01:19:19.000 I like to go up in front of people who don't know me to surprise them in a way.

01:19:24.000 Like, watch.

01:19:24.000 But I also have to get into it a little...

01:19:27.000 Gentler.

01:19:28.000 More gently?

01:19:29.000 Yeah, more gently.

01:19:30.000 Yeah, so I have to act like, hey, my brother said this. 0.98

01:19:34.000 Or, hey, I'm too dumb. 0.97

01:19:36.000 I don't get it. 0.97

01:19:38.000 Why is the government against worker strikes but they're for military strikes?

01:19:42.000 As opposed to the way you would do it in front of your crowd.

01:19:44.000 Yeah.

01:19:44.000 In front of my crowd, I'm much more amped up and angry or what have you.

01:19:50.000 That makes sense.

01:19:50.000 Yeah, it's a weird thing, right?

01:19:52.000 There's a catch-22 to that.

01:19:53.000 Because if you play to your people all the time...

01:19:56.000 You can get soft because they'll laugh at stuff just because they like you.

01:20:01.000 That's right. 0.99

01:20:01.000 And then a regular audience will be like, what the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

01:20:05.000 That's right. 0.98

01:20:05.000 There's some people that I've seen where they do well, especially like some podcast folks, they have a crowd and then the people will come to see them when they do their shows and like, oh, they're just happy to see you and you do well. 0.98

01:20:17.000 But then you go do a show, a rando show at the fucking improv where there's like five other people, especially that lab. 0.97

01:20:23.000 That lab is hot death. 0.99

01:20:25.000 At the improv?

01:20:26.000 Yeah.

01:20:26.000 That little tiny room?

01:20:27.000 It can be. 0.99

01:20:28.000 It's set up all fucked up. 0.99

01:20:30.000 The door is right next to your stage. 0.99

01:20:32.000 You're on stage and you hear the door and see people walking in.

01:20:35.000 The bar is enormous.

01:20:36.000 It's way too big.

01:20:37.000 It's like if everyone in the room was a rabid alcoholic, maybe you could justify having a bar that big in a room that small.

01:20:45.000 It doesn't make any sense.

01:20:47.000 That's funny.

01:20:48.000 You know, now that you mention it, I guess I noticed that stuff, but...

01:20:51.000 They should light that room on fire.

01:20:52.000 Really? 0.99

01:20:53.000 They should take sage through that room and clear it of ghosts and then light it on fire.

01:20:57.000 I enjoyed it because there's no waitresses, right? 0.97

01:21:00.000 Not that I don't like waitresses, but if you want a drink, you go to the bar. 1.00

01:21:05.000 And so nobody walks around in front of you, so there's no distractions.

01:21:08.000 People just sit there.

01:21:09.000 Oh, you're anti-waitress. 1.00

01:21:11.000 You motherfucker. 1.00

01:21:13.000 You motherfucker. 1.00

01:21:15.000 You fucking asshole. 1.00

01:21:19.000 I get it. 1.00

01:21:20.000 I get it.

01:21:21.000 I get it.

01:21:21.000 Jimmy's got a problem with the women.

01:21:23.000 He likes a male bartender. 0.98

01:21:26.000 A rugged...

01:21:27.000 You know, we just got done making fun of...

01:21:29.000 Kyle Kalinske got in trouble for making fun of Elizabeth Warren's dancing.

01:21:34.000 He didn't get in trouble.

01:21:35.000 That Cory Booker guy went after him. 0.98

01:21:37.000 That is nonsense, you virtual signaling dummy. 1.00

01:21:40.000 That is so silly. 1.00

01:21:42.000 He made fun of everything. 0.96

01:21:43.000 He made fun of Cory Booker's jokes.

01:21:45.000 Dad jokes.

01:21:46.000 He made fun of the thing.

01:21:47.000 But if he makes fun of Elizabeth Warren, all of a sudden it's sexist.

01:21:51.000 Do you see his quote?

01:21:53.000 Do you see what he said?

01:21:54.000 It was so clunky.

01:21:55.000 I'm sorry, are you an 18-year-old autistic college student who just gets to talk for the first time?

01:22:01.000 Yeah.

01:22:01.000 It was so clunky.

01:22:03.000 How did you formulate this sentence?

01:22:05.000 Did you really feel this?

01:22:07.000 And who do you think is going to believe this?

01:22:09.000 The people who are going to believe this, they already like you.

01:22:14.000 Most of the people are going to see right through this thing.

01:22:17.000 So it was just, to me, it's like...

01:22:20.000 You know, it's a schizophrenic message from people like that, Elizabeth Warren's defenders.

01:22:25.000 It's like, well, women can do anything except take a joke, I guess. 1.00

01:22:29.000 Or dance.

01:22:30.000 Watch her dance.

01:22:31.000 Let's watch that video. 1.00

01:22:32.000 Elizabeth Warren dancing, if you're not making fun of that, you're out of your fucking mind. 0.99

01:22:36.000 If there's a thing to make fun of... 1.00

01:22:38.000 Why do white people think this is dancing, by the way?

01:22:40.000 You ever notice that?

01:22:41.000 George Bush danced like this.

01:22:42.000 That's my number one move.

01:22:42.000 And then she does this, too.

01:22:44.000 Doesn't Ellen do that, too? 1.00

01:22:45.000 I think Ellen may do that. 0.96

01:22:49.000 I don't know.

01:22:50.000 Elon Musk did it, too.

01:22:51.000 Did you see when Elon Musk was in China?

01:22:52.000 He took his jacket off, threw it on the ground, was dancing.

01:22:55.000 He was having a good time.

01:22:56.000 I guess that's okay.

01:22:57.000 Probably had a couple of pops?

01:22:58.000 Yeah, he's not running for anything.

01:23:00.000 Exactly.

01:23:00.000 And everybody made fun of it.

01:23:02.000 Nobody accused anybody of being sexist.

01:23:04.000 Really?

01:23:04.000 Yeah, dancing was hilarious.

01:23:05.000 We'll play that first.

01:23:06.000 We'll play that second.

01:23:07.000 Let's play the Elizabeth Warren one first. 1.00

01:23:09.000 Because the Elizabeth Warren one is so fucking ridiculous. 1.00

01:23:12.000 You're watching her dance, and you're like... 1.00

01:23:15.000 How dare you say I can't make fun of this?

01:23:18.000 How dare you?

01:23:19.000 How dare you?

01:23:20.000 By the way, it's not like somebody put up a cell phone video of her dancing at a wedding.

01:23:27.000 That's okay.

01:23:28.000 She's on stage trying to get something from people and she thinks this will get it for her.

01:23:34.000 Here we go.

01:23:35.000 Here she goes.

01:23:35.000 Here she's up there.

01:24:01.000 She keeps doing this.

01:24:03.000 She looks like her back is welded. 0.93

01:24:06.000 It's all one piece.

01:24:08.000 She's doing all this dancing moves. 1.00

01:24:09.000 Everything is moving like this.

01:24:11.000 Yes, you're right!

01:24:12.000 She's a robot. 1.00

01:24:14.000 She's barely real. 0.97

01:24:14.000 It's about being white. 0.97

01:24:16.000 That's weird because I thought she was Native American. 0.98

01:24:19.000 Well, that's what I said.

01:24:22.000 So, obviously, Bernie's lying about saying women can't win, or Elizabeth Warren is lying about him saying that.

01:24:28.000 And I'm not going to accuse a Native American of lying.

01:24:30.000 I'm just not going to go there.

01:24:31.000 Good for you.

01:24:32.000 She is one one-thousandth Native American.

01:24:35.000 So, that's real.

01:24:37.000 That's a real number.

01:24:38.000 It might be 2,000.

01:24:40.000 She's 70. Her moves shouldn't be very elastic, right? 0.98

01:24:44.000 That's a lot of 70-year-olds that are out there.

01:24:47.000 Good point.

01:24:48.000 Good point.

01:24:48.000 70. She actually looks pretty good for 70 because Bernie looks like shit, right?

01:24:53.000 Bernie's head is in the middle of his chest. 1.00

01:24:55.000 I've heard you say that, people.

01:24:56.000 It's like, it's like falling off.

01:24:59.000 It is.

01:24:59.000 If I was his friend, I'd be like, bro, you got to work on your posture.

01:25:02.000 We got to get you some spinal decompression, get you to some yoga classes.

01:25:06.000 Your head's going to fall off.

01:25:07.000 When you meet him, he's taller than you think, right?

01:25:09.000 That's because his head's like here.

01:25:11.000 Yeah, you meet him, you're like, oh, I thought...

01:25:13.000 It's supposed to be up here.

01:25:14.000 I thought for sure I was going to be taller than him when I met him.

01:25:17.000 You ever have that happen?

01:25:19.000 I thought, for sure I'm going to be tall.

01:25:21.000 And he was way taller than me.

01:25:23.000 Well, I'm 5'8".

01:25:24.000 I always assume I'm shorter than everybody before I meet him.

01:25:27.000 Okay.

01:25:27.000 Pretty much.

01:25:29.000 Unless they're like a tiny person.

01:25:31.000 I thought Chris Hedges was going to be 6'5 when I met him, and he's the same height.

01:25:35.000 He's a normal guy?

01:25:36.000 Yeah, he's normal, not tall.

01:25:37.000 Have you met Chris Cuomo?

01:25:39.000 Fredo?

01:25:40.000 Fredo?

01:25:40.000 Did you call him Fredo?

01:25:41.000 No, he'll wreck my shit if I do that. 1.00

01:25:44.000 Yeah, he'll wreck your shit and throw you downstairs. 1.00

01:25:46.000 That was so revealing. 1.00

01:25:48.000 I was like, who are you?

01:25:50.000 Are you 16?

01:25:50.000 But you know that Fredo is the N-word.

01:25:53.000 Oh, we've all said that.

01:25:55.000 We've all said that.

01:25:55.000 We've been saying that for years.

01:25:56.000 You get fettuccine L-N-word. 1.00

01:25:58.000 That is so fucking dumb to say that. 1.00

01:26:01.000 That's so stupid. 1.00

01:26:01.000 The idea that he thought that he could pass it off, and he knew they were filming him, right? 1.00

01:26:05.000 Yes!

01:26:06.000 Yes!

01:26:06.000 How do you not know?

01:26:08.000 Saying that to an Italian-American is like using the N-word.

01:26:11.000 Like, oh...

01:26:13.000 Is it really?

01:26:14.000 Guess what?

01:26:14.000 Here's the thing about being Italian.

01:26:16.000 There's no word for us.

01:26:18.000 There's no word for us.

01:26:19.000 You can call me a guinea.

01:26:21.000 You can call me a greaseball.

01:26:22.000 It's like, okay.

01:26:23.000 It doesn't work.

01:26:24.000 There's no word.

01:26:25.000 They don't work.

01:26:25.000 They worked for my grandfather's day.

01:26:27.000 I used to talk to my grandfather because he was an immigrant, and he came over from Italy, and he told me all the horrible shit kids in school would say to him, all the horrible shit people in the street. 1.00

01:26:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:26:37.000 Guineas back then were... 1.00

01:26:39.000 They were talked to trash immigrants. 1.00

01:26:43.000 They wanted them to go home. 1.00

01:26:45.000 They didn't want them there.

01:26:47.000 And there was a lot of dispute between the Irish and the Italians.

01:26:50.000 Italians were thought of the way a lot of racist people think of Mexicans.

01:26:55.000 They're coming over here to take our jobs. 0.99

01:26:57.000 They're infesting our neighborhood with their smells and their food.

01:27:01.000 They want to talk their language.

01:27:03.000 My grandparents always spoke Italian in the house.

01:27:07.000 Did they smell?

01:27:07.000 They smelled great.

01:27:08.000 Did they?

01:27:09.000 It depends on what you like.

01:27:10.000 I love Italian food, so it smells great.

01:27:12.000 But they always talked Italian.

01:27:14.000 My grandmother and my grandfather always spoke Italian to each other.

01:27:18.000 Yeah.

01:27:19.000 They lived in an Italian neighborhood up until it changed.

01:27:21.000 They lived in Newark, New Jersey, which was all Italian.

01:27:25.000 So it seems like every wave of immigrants becomes the new horrible person. 1.00

01:27:29.000 I grew up, because I was Irish, and they talk about how the no Irish need apply, all that stuff.

01:27:35.000 Yeah.

01:27:37.000 I mean, there's waves of this, right? 0.74

01:27:40.000 And now the wave is, you know, Mexicans are the scapegoats.

01:27:43.000 But, you know, there's that documentary they did a while back, A Day With No Mexicans.

01:27:48.000 Uh-huh.

01:27:48.000 But it's true.

01:27:50.000 Everything would fucking shut down. 0.99

01:27:52.000 Shut down. 0.99

01:27:53.000 Especially Los Angeles.

01:27:54.000 No kidding.

01:27:54.000 But most of the country, most of the country, and this is the dirty secret about the United States of America is that we rely, a lot of, I shouldn't say we, a lot of industry, podcasts, it doesn't really rely on illegal immigrants, but a lot of industries rely on illegal immigrants, and it's a fucked up situation to be in for them because they really don't have a path to become legal,

01:28:14.000 even if they've been proven for decade after decade that they're a viable, contributing part of our culture because they got over here illegally.

01:28:23.000 Even if they came over here as a child, then we can't let you stay, you know?

01:28:27.000 And that's another thing, you know, the immigration, they've been scapegoated since, as far as I can remember, Bill Clinton.

01:28:35.000 So Bill Clinton, if you go back to the C-SPAN videos of him saying Mexicans coming here taking our jobs and all that stuff, he did all that stuff.

01:28:42.000 And Hillary Clinton, she bragged that she voted for a border wall. 0.99

01:28:45.000 A barrier.

01:28:46.000 It was a fence in some places.

01:28:48.000 She used to brag about it. 1.00

01:28:50.000 And so then Trump comes along, turns it up another notch, and they're like, this guy's a fucking racist. 1.00

01:28:55.000 So I make this point. 1.00

01:28:57.000 He just says it in a way that's...

01:28:59.000 Yeah, it's very offensive and it's wrong.

01:29:00.000 Of course it is. 0.99

01:29:02.000 But what I'm saying is he's building off of a bunch of shit that's offensive and wrong. 0.99

01:29:06.000 Just like when they tweeted out those... 0.99

01:29:08.000 So you find out...

01:29:08.000 This is what I say.

01:29:10.000 Oh, he banned all the Muslims at the airport.

01:29:13.000 Then you find out why are they at the airport? 1.00

01:29:14.000 Barack Obama's been bombing them for eight fucking years straight. 0.99

01:29:17.000 He dropped 26,000 bombs. 1.00

01:29:18.000 They ran out of bombs!

01:29:20.000 Then you find out he's putting immigrants in cages.

01:29:22.000 You find out Barack Obama built those cages.

01:29:24.000 Then you find out that Trump is gassing immigrants at the border.

01:29:27.000 And you find out Barack Obama also gassed immigrants at the border.

01:29:30.000 And they should be honored they were gassed by the lesser of two evils.

01:29:33.000 So there is the silver lining.

01:29:35.000 And it's finally starting to come out because the Democrats have run this Russiagate.

01:29:40.000 It's done.

01:29:40.000 They did the Mueller report.

01:29:41.000 It's over.

01:29:42.000 He concluded there is no collusion.

01:29:44.000 It's over.

01:29:45.000 So now they moved on to impeachment, but now he's bombing, so they're finally starting to talk about the War Powers Act.

01:29:51.000 But nobody's talking about cutting the Pentagon budget.

01:29:53.000 Do you hear that?

01:29:54.000 I don't hear that.

01:29:55.000 No.

01:29:55.000 Do you think that the main thing about impeachment is supposedly that he tried to get Ukraine to investigate his political opponent, Joe Biden?

01:30:05.000 Right.

01:30:05.000 That's the main thing.

01:30:06.000 That's what they say.

01:30:07.000 You take that out, and there's basically nothing.

01:30:10.000 Right.

01:30:10.000 And people aren't really that upset that he tried...

01:30:14.000 Half the country, for sure, aren't upset that he tried to investigate Joe Biden.

01:30:17.000 But so many people are clinging to this as if this impeachment makes sense, because they think that he's not presidential.

01:30:24.000 That's it.

01:30:24.000 Yeah.

01:30:25.000 As Aaron Maté says, who's the only guy I know who won an award for his Russiagate coverage...

01:30:30.000 Because he debunked it, like a good reporter's supposed to do.

01:30:34.000 He always makes the point that Trump is not a suitable steward of imperialism. 0.99

01:30:40.000 And they think he puts an ugly face on the shit we've been... 1.00

01:30:43.000 Trump puts an ugly face on the stuff we've been doing all along. 0.99

01:30:48.000 And so now people are going to be more aware of it, and we would have been more aware of it if the Democrats would have actually opposed him on substance instead of Russiagate.

01:30:55.000 He says things sometimes that you go, you are just allowed to write your own speech?

01:31:01.000 Like when he was talking about Baghdadi, that he died like a dog.

01:31:05.000 And you're like, what? 0.79

01:31:07.000 You're allowed to say that he died like a dog?

01:31:09.000 Or how about the, this is the weird thing, that he uses Twitter to threaten other countries.

01:31:14.000 Like when he was talking about Iran, that if they respond, we will respond in perhaps a disproportionate manner. 0.85

01:31:21.000 Like, you're using Twitter to threaten, like, Nobody ever thought that there was going to be this sort of a venue for a president to just have mouth diarrhea.

01:31:36.000 I really believe that's a big reason why a lot of the establishment wants to get rid of him, because he makes them look bad.

01:31:44.000 Because they agree with his policies.

01:31:45.000 The Democrats just gave him everything he wanted. 1.00

01:31:47.000 They paid for his fucking border wall. 1.00

01:31:49.000 They gave him expanded spying powers. 1.00

01:31:51.000 They gave him an extra $131 billion to go bomb people.

01:31:54.000 They helped fast track his judges. 0.99

01:31:56.000 They fucking also helped him deregulate Wall Street. 0.99

01:31:59.000 What the fuck aren't they doing for him? 1.00

01:32:01.000 And that's why we have Donald Trump. 0.99

01:32:03.000 And that's why it's important that Bernie gets in.

01:32:06.000 That's why it's important that he overcomes their cheating. 0.51

01:32:10.000 You talk about schizophrenic.

01:32:11.000 Bernie has a schizophrenic strategy.

01:32:13.000 People are upset that I critique his strategy.

01:32:16.000 I want Bernie to be stronger.

01:32:17.000 I want him to win.

01:32:20.000 He'll come out and give a speech where he says, I'm running against the Democrat as establishment.

01:32:24.000 And people go crazy, right?

01:32:26.000 Because we know that's the problem.

01:32:28.000 And then he'll do a video where he endorses the DNC. Like, hey, give us money.

01:32:32.000 He did a video with all the Democratic candidates talking about unity.

01:32:36.000 And every campaign had to pay $170,000 to the DNC to be included in that video.

01:32:42.000 Why?

01:32:43.000 Because the DNC is bankrupt.

01:32:44.000 Why?

01:32:44.000 Because no one's donating to it.

01:32:47.000 And so they have to extort money out of their own candidates saying, if you don't give us $170,000 each to do this unity video, we won't have any money to help you once you win the nomination.

01:32:56.000 So they all ponied up and they're all in it.

01:32:58.000 And Bernie's in a unity video where he's supposed to be speaking against the millionaires and billionaires. 1.00

01:33:02.000 There's two billionaires in the fucking video. 0.99

01:33:04.000 Tom Steyer and Bloomberg. 1.00

01:33:06.000 We've got to come together with billionaires to oppose. 1.00

01:33:08.000 No, they are the fucking problem. 1.00

01:33:10.000 Bloomberg is a problem. 1.00

01:33:13.000 He's the guy who instituted stop and frisk.

01:33:15.000 He's the guy who says New York needs more billionaires. 1.00

01:33:17.000 Those are the fucking guys who are the problem. 1.00

01:33:20.000 And if Bernie would just stop playing footsie with them, in a sense, and just bash them, I think it wouldn't even be close. 1.00

01:33:29.000 So he's got to, like Barack Obama, he's got to overwin.

01:33:32.000 Because they're going to cheat him.

01:33:33.000 So he has to overwin, you know?

01:33:35.000 And I tell you what, if he picked Tulsi Gabbard as his vice president, he would crush Donald Trump.

01:33:39.000 Because there are a lot of right-wingers, and there's a lot of independents, there's a lot of anti-war people who are upset with the Republican Party, a lot of independents, libertarians, and they like her because she's A in all the things that you like about her.

01:33:51.000 She's strong, she doesn't fly off the hip, and she's proven herself as a patriot, all that stuff.

01:33:58.000 What do you think they're doing?

01:33:59.000 Who do you think they're leaning towards for the nominee?

01:34:02.000 Do you think they want Warren?

01:34:03.000 Oh, the establishment, yes.

01:34:05.000 Yeah, they want Warren.

01:34:06.000 Well, that's why the DNC, the media, and Elizabeth Warren's campaign coordinated on this latest sexist hit on Bernie Sanders. 0.99

01:34:12.000 But it's not working.

01:34:14.000 I think it's backfiring.

01:34:34.000 She went on some podcast with these black guys.

01:34:38.000 I don't know if you've ever seen that video where she's being interviewed by three black guys.

01:34:41.000 In a podcast? 0.85

01:34:42.000 Yeah, they just tear her to shreds.

01:34:44.000 Oh, is that Charlemagne?

01:34:44.000 Is that on The Breakfast Club?

01:34:46.000 I think maybe.

01:34:47.000 I don't know.

01:34:48.000 I'm on a touch.

01:34:48.000 I don't know anything.

01:34:49.000 Charlemagne's sharp as fuck. 0.99

01:34:51.000 I think he went after her for the whole Native American thing. 0.99

01:34:54.000 And she was just basically saying, well, it's a family story that we always told.

01:34:57.000 He nailed her.

01:34:58.000 It was easy.

01:34:59.000 It was like you talking to Barry Weiss.

01:35:01.000 It wasn't Barry Weiss.

01:35:03.000 All you have to do is ask normal questions.

01:35:05.000 Here it is.

01:35:06.000 What does Toadie mean?

01:35:07.000 Charlamagne Tha God calls Elizabeth Warren the original Rachel Dolezal.

01:35:11.000 That's right.

01:35:13.000 Yes, that's right.

01:35:14.000 That's what he did say.

01:35:15.000 Yes, yes, yes.

01:35:16.000 Yeah.

01:35:16.000 Yeah, that's a hilarious thing to say.

01:35:19.000 The original Rachel Dolezal.

01:35:21.000 Well, she used it to get a job. 1.00

01:35:23.000 I mean, she really did.

01:35:24.000 And she didn't give any of that money back.

01:35:26.000 I mean, didn't she get a job at Harvard because of that?

01:35:29.000 She claimed she did it.

01:35:31.000 She claimed she did it.

01:35:32.000 But it was on her application.

01:35:33.000 She was Native American.

01:35:34.000 There's a reason why.

01:35:35.000 Yeah.

01:35:35.000 And she's just saying it's because of our family.

01:35:38.000 But she was saying she's Native American.

01:35:40.000 That's the whole thing?

01:35:41.000 You're 100% that?

01:35:42.000 I don't know what she was saying. 1.00

01:35:44.000 I know it's really come back to bite her in the ass. 1.00

01:35:48.000 Not enough. 1.00

01:35:49.000 Not enough.

01:35:50.000 She's still bouncing around. 0.99

01:35:51.000 That's a liar. 0.99

01:35:52.000 She's a person that makes up a past. 0.80

01:35:56.000 She's created a fake past and she did it back when there was no DNA test available. 0.99

01:36:01.000 So you can get away with being Native American. 1.00

01:36:04.000 It makes you look like you're, first of all, you're kind of cool, right?

01:36:07.000 Everybody, like, you ever see that movie Vision Quest?

01:36:09.000 No.

01:36:10.000 Great movie.

01:36:11.000 Matthew Modine.

01:36:12.000 But his buddy's like a fake Indian. 1.00

01:36:14.000 His buddy lied about being Native American.

01:36:16.000 He had a mohawk and everything.

01:36:17.000 He was playing up the Native American thing. 0.85

01:36:20.000 Because people want to be Native American. 0.96

01:36:22.000 It's a cool thing.

01:36:23.000 They're thought to be more spiritual, more deep and interesting, and certainly more oppressed.

01:36:29.000 So if she says she's Native American, oh, look at this Native American woman who made it all the way to be president. 1.00

01:36:34.000 It's exotic.

01:36:36.000 Meanwhile, she's like one two-thousandth Native American. 0.94

01:36:42.000 Is that what it was? 0.98

01:36:43.000 Some ridiculous, ridiculously small number. 0.99

01:36:47.000 Right. 0.97

01:36:47.000 And then when she got her DNA test, Trump said that if she was Native American that he would give her a million dollars or something like that. 0.97

01:36:56.000 And she was like, well, time to pay up. 0.76

01:36:59.000 Did you look at the numbers?

01:37:00.000 Yes, she did.

01:37:02.000 Yes, she did.

01:37:03.000 Joe, I find everything you're saying right now sexist.

01:37:06.000 I hope you know that. 1.00

01:37:07.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:37:08.000 Everything you're saying is sexist. 1.00

01:37:10.000 Must be, right?

01:37:11.000 I'm talking about a woman. 1.00

01:37:12.000 You talk about how you feel bad about the New York Times not being...

01:37:16.000 Yes.

01:37:17.000 Because I know that feeling.

01:37:18.000 You wanted somebody to be...

01:37:19.000 What did the other news people like at MSNBC? What did they think when they see Tucker Carlson kicking their ass doing war coverage? 0.99

01:37:26.000 Isn't that fucking amazing? 1.00

01:37:28.000 The Tucker Carlson thing was interesting, right? 0.99

01:37:30.000 Isn't that amazing?

01:37:30.000 He seems at least partially independent.

01:37:34.000 Why is he allowed to tell the truth about war at Fox News? 0.99

01:37:36.000 I don't fucking get that. 0.97

01:37:37.000 They're not allowed to tell the truth about war at CNN or MSNBC. Well, Shepard Smith was allowed to tell the truth, too. 0.98

01:37:44.000 Certain truths, but he was... 0.95

01:37:45.000 After a while, he was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. 0.94

01:37:48.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:37:49.000 Again, there's lots of truths he didn't tell, also.

01:37:51.000 So that's why I still don't know.

01:37:53.000 Yeah.

01:37:55.000 Did you see Bombshell?

01:37:56.000 No, what is this?

01:37:57.000 That's the movie with the Roger Ailes movie.

01:38:00.000 Oh, I started watching that.

01:38:01.000 Oh, man, that guy.

01:38:02.000 Who's the actor from Australia?

01:38:04.000 What's his name?

01:38:06.000 Oh...

01:38:07.000 Whoever the guy is.

01:38:08.000 He's fantastic.

01:38:10.000 Isn't that John Lithgow in Bombshell, though?

01:38:13.000 I think you're thinking of the Dick Cheney movie.

01:38:15.000 I'm thinking of a series.

01:38:16.000 There's a series about Roger Ailes and Fox News.

01:38:19.000 Oh.

01:38:20.000 No, this is a movie.

01:38:21.000 Oh, I didn't see it.

01:38:21.000 This is a new Charlize Theron.

01:38:24.000 Oh, really?

01:38:25.000 Yeah, where she plays Megyn Kelly. 1.00

01:38:28.000 Oh, really?

01:38:29.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:38:30.000 So she's playing someone less attractive.

01:38:33.000 Here it is.

01:38:35.000 NIWRC is a non-profit working to protect Native women from violence.

01:38:38.000 More than half of Native women have experienced sexual violence and the majority of violent crimes against Native Americans are perpetrated by non-Natives.

01:38:45.000 Send them your $1 million check, real Donald Trump.

01:38:48.000 So she's saying that because she's Native American, she tested a trace amount.

01:38:54.000 Really, it's probably like she blew a Native American guy in college. 0.99

01:38:58.000 By the way, real Donald Trump, I remember saying on 7-5, you'd give me $1 million for charity if my choice of DNA showed Native American ancestry.

01:39:06.000 I remember, and here's the verdict.

01:39:09.000 Warren reveals tests confirming ancestry.

01:39:14.000 What?

01:39:15.000 Yeah, but it's such an insanely small amount.

01:39:20.000 Oh, God.

01:39:21.000 I am 1.6% African.

01:39:23.000 I am 200 times more African than she is Native American. 0.63

01:39:27.000 That's real.

01:39:29.000 Yeah.

01:39:30.000 L-O-L. So...

01:39:32.000 Imagine.

01:39:34.000 I mean, I thought that when she said she got fired from teaching and then the video came out and said she quit, I thought that would be the end.

01:39:40.000 That should be the end, too.

01:39:41.000 I got called a sexist for talking about that. 0.96

01:39:44.000 Oh, you are sexist.

01:39:45.000 I had a Clinton advisor come at me. 0.90

01:39:46.000 A Bill Clinton advisor.

01:39:48.000 Oh, God.

01:39:49.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

01:39:50.000 Bill Clinton advisors should all shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:39:53.000 You are so lucky you're not in jail. 1.00

01:39:55.000 I only flew 26 times with Jeffrey Epstein.

01:39:58.000 It's not a lot of times.

01:40:00.000 He was a good guy.

01:40:01.000 He had a nice jet.

01:40:02.000 We flew around.

01:40:03.000 We saw the sky.

01:40:04.000 We looked at things.

01:40:05.000 We had a couple drinks.

01:40:06.000 You do a good Clinton.

01:40:07.000 It's alright.

01:40:09.000 It's not that good.

01:40:10.000 Jeffrey actually does a good Clint, but that's because he's got hours and hours and hours of tapes on me.

01:40:19.000 Every time I try to do an impression, it sounds like a drunk Irish guy. 0.99

01:40:22.000 No, your Bernie's pretty damn good.

01:40:24.000 But Bill is so obvious.

01:40:26.000 $27?

01:40:27.000 Yeah, there it is.

01:40:28.000 You know why $27?

01:40:29.000 Because that's my social security number.

01:40:31.000 27. That's good.

01:40:33.000 Yeah, because he was the 27th person alive.

01:40:35.000 It's an old joke, Joe.

01:40:36.000 I get it.

01:40:37.000 It was funnier in 2016. I get it.

01:40:39.000 Okay. 0.84

01:40:40.000 But any Bill Clinton advisor calling you a sexist, that is goddamned hilarious. 1.00

01:40:47.000 That's rich. 0.99

01:40:47.000 Did you write the cum off your dress before you called me a sexist? 0.99

01:40:53.000 That fucking guy. 1.00

01:40:55.000 When he dies, there will be stories. 1.00

01:40:57.000 Yeah.

01:40:58.000 Well, there's already stories.

01:41:00.000 We just haven't heard them.

01:41:01.000 Oh, yeah.

01:41:02.000 Yeah.

01:41:03.000 But I mean, it's just, it's amazing how much they can keep quiet.

01:41:06.000 Well, it's amazing that the Epstein thing just comes and goes and nobody gets, nobody, nobody gets thrown, run out of office, nobody gets nothing.

01:41:13.000 No, no. 0.99

01:41:13.000 Nothing, fucking nothing! 0.99

01:41:14.000 Well, how about the fact that they accidentally erased the first attempted suicide video? 0.99

01:41:19.000 Whoops!

01:41:20.000 We accidentally erased that, too.

01:41:21.000 How about they erased all the torture videos?

01:41:23.000 I mean, they did that, the CIA did that, they lied to Congress on camera.

01:41:28.000 Hey, man.

01:41:28.000 Joe, we're living in a...

01:41:30.000 Shit happens. 1.00

01:41:31.000 Things go bad. 1.00

01:41:32.000 What does Jesse Ventura say?

01:41:33.000 He says, when you're telling the truth is...

01:41:37.000 Ah, if I can forget that quote.

01:41:39.000 But when you're living in universal deceit, telling the truth is a treasonous act or something.

01:41:44.000 I just said it earlier and I can't remember.

01:41:47.000 Jesse Ventura.

01:41:48.000 Yeah, he was going to run for president.

01:41:51.000 Wasn't he?

01:41:52.000 As an independent?

01:41:53.000 I don't know.

01:41:53.000 Yeah, I think he toyed with it.

01:41:55.000 Is Bloomberg still running?

01:41:56.000 Yes, he is.

01:41:57.000 I don't hear anything about it.

01:41:59.000 He's spending tons of money on ads and stuff, and so is Steyer.

01:42:03.000 Steyer, they say, was like number two.

01:42:05.000 He got himself up to number two in South Carolina or something because of all the money he's spending.

01:42:09.000 And you talk to people who lived there, they go, I went home for Christmas, and every third commercial was a Tom Steyer commercial.

01:42:14.000 Really?

01:42:15.000 So it's a local thing.

01:42:16.000 So he's trying to get that market.

01:42:17.000 Yeah.

01:42:18.000 So he's like, okay, I might not win Iowa, but I can maybe put all my money into South Carolina.

01:42:22.000 So do you think the establishment wants Elizabeth Warren because of the fact, look, she's willing to play ball. 0.98

01:42:29.000 She wants to be president. 1.00

01:42:30.000 She was a Republican forever, and then she switched over, became a Democrat.

01:42:34.000 This thing about him, Bernie, being sexist is so obviously a political ploy. 0.96

01:42:41.000 It's so transparent and really gross. 0.97

01:42:43.000 Yeah. 0.90

01:42:44.000 So now when they call Trump a sexist, it doesn't land.

01:42:48.000 Right.

01:42:48.000 Exactly.

01:42:48.000 They cried wolf to me.

01:42:49.000 That's exactly what...

01:42:50.000 I mean, they teach this to six-year-olds.

01:42:53.000 Don't cry wolf.

01:42:54.000 Yeah.

01:42:54.000 And here they are, an entire organization, the establishment, has been crying wolf.

01:42:59.000 It's crazy. 1.00

01:42:59.000 These motherfuckers. 1.00

01:43:00.000 These motherfuckers. 1.00

01:43:01.000 What do you keep looking at your shirt for? 1.00

01:43:03.000 I spilled some of that turmeric coffee on it and washed it off during the show.

01:43:08.000 Oh, did you?

01:43:09.000 I didn't even notice.

01:43:09.000 Yeah, I did.

01:43:10.000 See how unobservant I am?

01:43:12.000 It's alright.

01:43:13.000 It's alright.

01:43:15.000 So how many times do you go out a week?

01:43:18.000 How many times I do shows?

01:43:19.000 Yeah, stand up.

01:43:20.000 It depends on the week, but always at least four.

01:43:25.000 This week I'm only working Tuesday and Wednesday night because I've got to go and do the UFC this weekend in Vegas.

01:43:31.000 Oh.

01:43:32.000 And I didn't schedule a gig.

01:43:35.000 But a regular weekend, boy, depending on if I'm on the road or here.

01:43:40.000 If I'm here, I mean, on a regular week, I'll work Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

01:43:43.000 I do that all the time.

01:43:44.000 I'll do multiple sets a night.

01:43:47.000 I'll do the store, I'll do the improv, sometimes I'll do the ice house.

01:43:50.000 Okay.

01:43:51.000 So, I'll change subjects real quick.

01:43:54.000 Do you watch boxing?

01:43:55.000 Yes.

01:43:56.000 Did you watch Ruiz?

01:43:57.000 Yes.

01:43:59.000 What?

01:43:59.000 He got fat and he was partying.

01:44:00.000 Why did he do that?

01:44:01.000 He had a good time. 0.99

01:44:03.000 Fucked up. 0.99

01:44:04.000 Got rid of his trainer. 1.00

01:44:05.000 He did a lot of things wrong.

01:44:06.000 At first they were saying he lost too much weight.

01:44:08.000 Did you remember that?

01:44:09.000 But that was just because there was a photo that he was doing like the Instagram angle.

01:44:12.000 Oh, is that it?

01:44:13.000 It's like him in the bathroom looking down.

01:44:15.000 Oh, okay.

01:44:15.000 If you like have a camera and you pose it a certain way, you can make yourself look slim.

01:44:21.000 Okay.

01:44:21.000 Yeah.

01:44:22.000 Nothing gets you more excited than a good boxing match. 0.99

01:44:25.000 Well, that fight should have been a great fight, but Andy fucked up. 1.00

01:44:29.000 He really fucked up. 1.00

01:44:30.000 He had no plan. 1.00

01:44:31.000 Afterwards, he was asking for a rematch.

01:44:33.000 I'm pretty sure he trained himself, too, for that fight.

01:44:35.000 Yeah, I think he did.

01:44:36.000 Yeah.

01:44:37.000 Well, he was...

01:44:37.000 I know for a fact...

01:44:39.000 Why would he do all that?

01:44:40.000 He was partying. 0.99

01:44:41.000 Because he became the heavyweight champion of the world in an incredible knockout, and I bet everybody was kissing his ass, and he bought a Rolls Royce. 0.98

01:44:49.000 He came to the podcast. 0.99

01:44:50.000 Oh, yeah?

01:44:51.000 When he did the podcast, he came at a Rolls Royce.

01:44:53.000 Oh.

01:44:53.000 Yeah.

01:44:54.000 Woo! 0.99

01:44:55.000 Which doesn't necessarily mean you're going off the rails, but it's a really good indication. 0.97

01:44:59.000 Yeah, I mean, if he showed up in a fucking Caprice Classic, I'd be like, this guy's dialed in. 0.98

01:45:03.000 Yeah! 0.99

01:45:03.000 He's focused. 0.99

01:45:04.000 Yeah, he's gonna get this one.

01:45:05.000 He's got an old cop car he's driving around in.

01:45:09.000 No hubcaps. 1.00

01:45:11.000 Shitty old bench seats and shit. 1.00

01:45:13.000 Let's go get the championship. 1.00

01:45:14.000 Yeah, he's Rocky Balboa.

01:45:16.000 But he had his chance, and they're not going to give him another one.

01:45:20.000 No?

01:45:20.000 Because he can beat a lot of guys.

01:45:22.000 Yeah.

01:45:22.000 But I don't know if he can sell a lot of pay-per-views, especially after that second performance.

01:45:27.000 The problem with the second performance is the second performance was so piss poor that you're going to need multiple, like, We're good to go.

01:45:54.000 We're good to go.

01:45:54.000 That he got rocked and maybe even got KO'd when he was training.

01:45:58.000 And not too distant from the fight, like two weeks out.

01:46:02.000 Oh, really?

01:46:03.000 Two weeks out from the fight got KO'd.

01:46:05.000 Yeah.

01:46:05.000 Oh, that's not good.

01:46:07.000 When you're a heavyweight and you're slinging those fucking gigantic fists at each other, all those guys need to do is catch each other once. 0.96

01:46:15.000 Just once. 0.99

01:46:15.000 Boom! 0.99

01:46:16.000 Apparently it just happens all the time.

01:46:18.000 There was a Russian heavyweight boxer who was just criticized because he showed this video of a sparring session where he flatlines his trainer or his sparring partner with one punch.

01:46:29.000 Happens.

01:46:29.000 It happens all the time.

01:46:30.000 For the knockouts you see in the ring, there's probably, you know, Dozens more you'll never see with top-flight guys that are just, you know, they're bringing in guys.

01:46:41.000 Like, when Klitschko was the champion, he brought in guys like Anthony Joshua to spar with.

01:46:46.000 He brought in guys like Deontay Wilder.

01:46:49.000 He sparred with Deontay Wilder.

01:46:50.000 I didn't know that.

01:46:51.000 Yeah.

01:46:51.000 Wow.

01:46:52.000 Yeah, these guys, they spar with killers.

01:46:53.000 I mean, I love watching Deontay.

01:46:55.000 It's exciting.

01:46:56.000 Exactly like you said, at any moment it can happen.

01:46:58.000 The fight can turn around.

01:46:59.000 Deontay's a freak.

01:47:00.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:47:01.000 He's a freak. 0.92

01:47:02.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:47:02.000 Freak of nature. 0.98

01:47:03.000 Oh, so in what way?

01:47:04.000 There's no one I've ever seen who can knock everyone out.

01:47:09.000 Oh, and that's him.

01:47:10.000 He knocks everyone out.

01:47:11.000 There's never been a guy.

01:47:12.000 If you look at his record, it's insane.

01:47:14.000 It's not just the fact that he's won so many fights.

01:47:17.000 He only has one decision loss.

01:47:18.000 He has one draw with Tyson Fury.

01:47:22.000 And then the rest, he knocks people into orbit.

01:47:25.000 Every other fight.

01:47:26.000 He has 40 knockouts and 40 wins.

01:47:29.000 And that Cuban guy he just laid out, that guy was tough.

01:47:32.000 Oh my god. 0.79

01:47:32.000 And he hit him on the forehead. 0.79

01:47:34.000 Yes!

01:47:34.000 And he hit him like this.

01:47:35.000 It was like a short punch.

01:47:37.000 He hit so hard, it doesn't even make sense.

01:47:41.000 Ortiz.

01:47:41.000 Yeah.

01:47:42.000 Ortiz went down.

01:47:42.000 Ortiz was tough.

01:47:43.000 And he was down like, what in the fuck just happened? 0.99

01:47:46.000 Yes! 0.99

01:47:47.000 He hits people and they have a look on their face like they can't even believe how hard he hits them.

01:47:52.000 Yeah.

01:47:52.000 That Dominic Brazil, that KO, like right after the Tyson Fury fight.

01:47:57.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

01:47:57.000 Oh my god, he's a murderer. 0.99

01:47:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:47:59.000 He's the most murderous puncher I've ever seen in the heavyweight division. 1.00

01:48:02.000 So I think him and Fury are going to fight again.

01:48:04.000 Yes.

01:48:05.000 Yeah.

01:48:05.000 In February.

01:48:06.000 That's exciting.

01:48:06.000 Next month.

01:48:07.000 That's exciting.

01:48:07.000 Yeah.

01:48:08.000 Yeah.

01:48:08.000 There it is.

01:48:09.000 Oh, fantastic.

01:48:10.000 Tyson Fury's master beating seven times a day to prep for Wilder Rematch.

01:48:15.000 He brings his testosterone up, he said.

01:48:16.000 That brings his testosterone up?

01:48:18.000 That's what he said.

01:48:18.000 That's what he said?

01:48:20.000 Wow, I think it's just...

01:48:21.000 Jesus Christ.

01:48:21.000 I think he's reading into that.

01:48:22.000 Who was that fighter that used to drink his own urine?

01:48:25.000 Lyoto Machida?

01:48:26.000 It was a boxer.

01:48:27.000 Oh, really?

01:48:28.000 Yeah, it was a boxer.

01:48:29.000 A lot of people were doing that for a while.

01:48:31.000 They thought urine therapy was supposed to...

01:48:33.000 That is not true, right, Joe?

01:48:34.000 I know you're not a doctor, but...

01:48:36.000 I am definitely a doctor, and it is true.

01:48:38.000 And I want you to do it now.

01:48:40.000 I drank my piss before.

01:48:41.000 I tried it.

01:48:42.000 Oh, come on! 0.99

01:48:43.000 Tyson Fury on ways he's preparing for a while. 0.99

01:48:45.000 I'm masturbating seven times a day to keep up my testosterone pumping. 0.99

01:48:48.000 Pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it. 1.00

01:48:51.000 Don't you know?

01:48:53.000 I gotta keep active and testosterone flowing for the fight.

01:48:57.000 Don't want the levels to go down.

01:48:59.000 So I always thought having sex was bad for you before I It's supposed to be.

01:49:02.000 Yeah, your levels actually go up.

01:49:03.000 Not that it's bad, but some people think it's a distraction.

01:49:07.000 Like Mike Tyson's view was, he said that he felt that sex was distracting.

01:49:12.000 So he would have sex just so that he didn't have to think about it.

01:49:15.000 Because if he didn't have sex, then he was just thinking about sex all the time.

01:49:19.000 But when Tyson was in his prime, you've got to also remember he's a really young guy.

01:49:24.000 Like, he was in his early 20s. 0.99

01:49:26.000 Testosterone was through the fucking roof. 1.00

01:49:28.000 And the level of girls that were bombing on him. 1.00

01:49:33.000 Yes.

01:49:33.000 Oh, my God.

01:49:34.000 I mean, Robin Givens is beautiful. 1.00

01:49:36.000 The most beautiful women in the world were trying to get some of that fucking gladiator dick. 1.00

01:49:41.000 Woo! 1.00

01:49:44.000 But I think for him, he really felt like sex was a distraction, and if he could just have sex, then he wouldn't think about it. 0.82

01:49:50.000 I saw this play one time.

01:49:52.000 It was written by Steve Martin, and it was a fictitious meeting between Picasso and Einstein in a bar in France.

01:49:58.000 It was called Picasso et La Piagile. 0.98

01:50:01.000 And in it, Picasso's painting, and he's talking, and he says, an artist must stay well fucked. 0.98

01:50:09.000 Otherwise his eye goes from the page to the windowsill down to the street across over to the cafe where the girl's sitting with her skirt up and And it's like you got that's what that always stuck with me Yeah, if an artist doesn't say well fuck that I was gonna be doing is thinking about getting laid Yeah, 0.99

01:50:26.000 men will understand that but men will rarely say that in the presence of women and so because of that women Either don't believe it or they dismiss it or they think you're a pig for expressing it. 0.98

01:50:41.000 Right. 0.95

01:50:42.000 All those things.

01:50:42.000 But men alone, they'll go, oh yeah, that makes sense.

01:50:46.000 Like if you say that, you got to stay well fucked. 1.00

01:50:48.000 Like, oh yeah, of course. 1.00

01:50:49.000 You have to. 0.98

01:50:50.000 Otherwise you get fucking distracted. 0.98

01:50:52.000 It is true. 1.00

01:50:53.000 Women have no idea. 1.00

01:50:54.000 I heard a thing on NPR one time, probably 15 years ago, and they were doing a story about this woman who decided to transition to be a man.

01:51:03.000 Right.

01:51:03.000 And so she documented it and did like an audio thing and she talked about how when she was into it and started feeling her testosterone and she would become attracted to women and she goes, it didn't have to be a boob.

01:51:14.000 It could be an elbow.

01:51:15.000 It could be her ankle.

01:51:16.000 It could be whatever.

01:51:17.000 And she goes, I finally understood 13-year-old boys.

01:51:21.000 Yeah, that's what it is. 0.96

01:51:23.000 Pretty fucking distracting, isn't it? 1.00

01:51:24.000 And then you've got to keep your shit together. 1.00

01:51:27.000 Well, it's not just that. 1.00

01:51:28.000 It's a biological imperative.

01:51:29.000 It's a reason why people breed.

01:51:32.000 It's like that's built into the DNA to make people attracted to females so they can spread their DNA. And that's what it is. 0.71

01:51:41.000 It's that simple.

01:51:43.000 To deny that is crazy. 0.98

01:51:45.000 But you've got men denying it because they want women to like them, and then you've got women dismissing it because they think that the men who express it in an honest way are pigs and sexist and they exhibit toxic masculinity, which is... 0.95

01:52:00.000 That's a hilarious expression because you need to thank toxic masculinity for all the bridges, all the jets, all the rockets, all this toxic masculinity.

01:52:10.000 If you break down all the things that men have invented and all these toxic men have prevented you from being murdered in war and protected the country and all the different things that you could attribute to toxic masculinity, most of it's positive.

01:52:26.000 Okay. 0.94

01:52:29.000 Yeah, now I forgot what that is because I had this question as it's sitting in my head since you started talking about toxic masculinity and I fucking can't even get the word out. 0.96

01:52:36.000 I can't even say it. 0.98

01:52:37.000 I can't even fucking sovereignty. 1.00

01:52:38.000 Toxic masculinity is a ridiculous thing to say. 1.00

01:52:41.000 There's terrible men. 1.00

01:52:42.000 There's terrible human beings that happen to be men.

01:52:44.000 There's also terrible human beings that happen to be women. 1.00

01:52:46.000 There's not toxic femininity. 1.00

01:52:48.000 They just have any women who developed in a terrible way, most likely with bad parents, most likely abuse, physical and or sexual, and then they become a monster at the end of all this process. 0.82

01:53:00.000 This is the same with men. 0.72

01:53:01.000 Bad men are just bad human beings that happen to be men.

01:53:05.000 And when you see terrible things happen, it's not because of toxic masculinity. 0.97

01:53:09.000 It's because it's a bad person.

01:53:11.000 I believe in the individual.

01:53:13.000 There's individuals, and some of them are bad and some of them are good.

01:53:16.000 But if you just want to generalize against all men, you're on an uphill road.

01:53:21.000 There's too many...

01:53:21.000 Obviously not me.

01:53:22.000 I've never invented anything.

01:53:24.000 But there's too many things that men have done that are positive.

01:53:26.000 There's way too many.

01:53:27.000 There's too many things.

01:53:28.000 If you wanted to have a scoreboard...

01:53:31.000 And you wanted to compete men versus women.

01:53:33.000 What are you going to say when you look at all the different accomplishments that men have made?

01:53:39.000 And obviously it's not me and it's not you.

01:53:41.000 I'm not talking about us, that we're on a team.

01:53:44.000 But I'm saying this concept that men are bad. 0.98

01:53:47.000 And you hear this a lot today, especially white men. 0.99

01:53:50.000 I don't want to hear from white men. 0.99

01:53:51.000 Okay, well that's crazy. 0.77

01:53:53.000 Because there's a lot of nice white men. 1.00

01:53:55.000 This is dumb. 1.00

01:53:56.000 Phil Donahue. 1.00

01:53:57.000 Yeah.

01:53:57.000 He's one of them.

01:53:58.000 But just this idea that you can generalize about one entire group, whether it's by gender, or whether it's by race, or by anything.

01:54:08.000 But you can do that with white men.

01:54:10.000 You can't really do that with brown women. 1.00

01:54:13.000 You can't say, here's a problem with black women. 1.00

01:54:15.000 You know, all black women are this, that. 1.00

01:54:17.000 People go, you're a racist piece of shit. 1.00

01:54:19.000 But if you say, here's the problem with white men. 1.00

01:54:21.000 Both are gross. 0.99

01:54:22.000 Both statements, generalizations are disgusting, whether they're a gender-based generalization or a sex-based generalization, whatever it is. 0.99

01:54:31.000 So they would say that that's okay to say that about white men because of the power dynamic. 0.94

01:54:35.000 Yes, exactly.

01:54:36.000 That white men have power, so if we say that, it doesn't... 0.80

01:54:39.000 Right, it's not even racist.

01:54:40.000 Right.

01:54:41.000 Right.

01:54:41.000 That's what...

01:54:43.000 It's a dumb argument. 0.99

01:54:44.000 I'm not a professor, so I don't know if that's true or not. 0.99

01:54:47.000 White men have more power, sure. 0.97

01:54:52.000 But they also have more power than white men. 0.92

01:54:54.000 It's a tiny percentage of white men who have the power that we're talking about. 0.61

01:55:00.000 When you're talking about CEOs, when you're talking about judges, yes, yes, white men are in those positions of power.

01:55:08.000 But they're also in those positions of power over most white men.

01:55:13.000 It's a very small amount of people that have an extraordinary amount of influence. 1.00

01:55:18.000 Yeah, they happen to be white men, but when you say, white men suck, look at this. 0.99

01:55:22.000 No, that's the smallest percentage of people. 0.99

01:55:27.000 Who are these billionaires?

01:55:28.000 Who are these CEOs?

01:55:29.000 Who are these judges?

01:55:30.000 Who are these people that are in positions of power that happen to be white men?

01:55:34.000 So, have you ever...

01:55:35.000 Now, again, I don't know.

01:55:37.000 I heard a guy refer to himself, like a regular guy, Refer to himself as a cis male.

01:55:42.000 I'm going to do that from now on.

01:55:44.000 Has anyone ever done that?

01:55:46.000 It kind of blew me off.

01:55:47.000 I didn't even know what it was when I first heard it.

01:55:49.000 Yeah.

01:55:49.000 It's nonsense.

01:55:51.000 You're a male. 0.95

01:55:52.000 If you're a trans woman and you want to be referred to only as a woman, fine. 0.83

01:55:56.000 No problem with that.

01:55:57.000 But I'm not going to call myself a cis male. 1.00

01:55:59.000 That's some new made-up shit. 1.00

01:56:01.000 It sounds like you're calling yourself a sissy. 1.00

01:56:02.000 Sissy. 0.98

01:56:03.000 When I first heard it, I thought that's what a guy was doing.

01:56:06.000 When I first heard it, a guy said, I'm a cis male, blah, blah, blah. 0.99

01:56:10.000 I'm like, you're a sissy? 0.97

01:56:12.000 I didn't know what it meant. 0.97

01:56:13.000 I read this tweet once by this person who was saying, basically, to shame people into using that, ram it down their throats, and eventually they'll accept it, and it'll become normal.

01:56:23.000 Because if they want to refer to us as trans, we have to refer to them as cis, and we have to force them to refer to themselves as cis. 0.99

01:56:30.000 Oh, that's where it came from?

01:56:31.000 I didn't even know that's where it came from.

01:56:32.000 It's to make a clear distinction.

01:56:36.000 So instead of making it look like a trans woman is lesser, instead of that, you have cisgender and transgender.

01:56:47.000 So because you're adding to that name, that prefix, because you're adding to both now, Now you've equalized the playing field.

01:56:58.000 You level the playing field.

01:56:59.000 But the problem with that is trans is extremely rare. 0.83

01:57:02.000 It's the reason why you have that prefix in the first place, because it's really, really unusual to meet a trans woman, despite how the internet would have you feel.

01:57:09.000 I was always...

01:57:10.000 I'm sure it's a tough life to be a transgendered person, like incredibly tough.

01:57:15.000 I was always a little jealous.

01:57:17.000 No, you're not.

01:57:18.000 Why don't you become a woman? 1.00

01:57:19.000 I was always like, God, it looks like fun.

01:57:21.000 Why don't you dress up like Meghan McCain and just start going on rants on your show? 1.00

01:57:25.000 You'd be free.

01:57:26.000 I could do that. 1.00

01:57:26.000 You would have such a fucking free pass. 1.00

01:57:30.000 I mean, look, Caitlyn Jenner killed a lady. 1.00

01:57:32.000 Nobody even talks about her. 0.59

01:57:33.000 Nobody even says anything.

01:57:34.000 Nobody just slammed her into traffic, not paying attention, rear-ended her into oncoming traffic.

01:57:39.000 She's dead now, and no one even brings it up.

01:57:42.000 Everyone's like, she's so brave.

01:57:44.000 Do you think she's intact?

01:57:45.000 I heard she cut it off.

01:57:46.000 Oh my God, is it gone?

01:57:49.000 Yeah, I don't...

01:57:50.000 But that was an accident, right?

01:57:51.000 It wasn't like...

01:57:52.000 It was a careless accident.

01:57:54.000 But still, she rear-ended somebody and slammed her into oncoming traffic. 0.93

01:57:58.000 And whether or not she was on her phone, I don't know.

01:58:01.000 Do you ever worry you're going to say something wrong?

01:58:03.000 I'm always worried, like, I'm ignorant of, like I said, I have big gaps in my knowledge of stuff.

01:58:09.000 And so I remember I was, what was I talking about the other day?

01:58:12.000 And I got it totally wrong.

01:58:13.000 Like, I didn't know, like, somebody from, what, Jamaica.

01:58:19.000 That's also an African-American.

01:58:21.000 I didn't know that.

01:58:22.000 Sure, because they came over from Africa to Jamaica. 1.00

01:58:25.000 That's what I'm talking about, how dumb. 0.99

01:58:26.000 I wouldn't say African-American. 0.99

01:58:28.000 I guess once they came to America and they're American citizens, yeah, they're African-Americans.

01:58:32.000 Yeah.

01:58:32.000 So I didn't, again, this is...

01:58:34.000 A lot of Jamaicans refer to themselves as Jamaicans, though.

01:58:36.000 The thing about Jamaicans is, like, it's really unique how, like, unique cultures are known for, like, specific things that are very positive.

01:58:44.000 Like, Jamaicans are known for incredible work ethic.

01:58:46.000 Yeah?

01:58:47.000 Jamaicans have multiple jobs.

01:58:48.000 It's always a stand-up joke.

01:58:49.000 No kidding.

01:58:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:58:50.000 In New York, there was always jokes about Jamaicans about, you know, that they would get mad at you if you had less than five jobs.

01:58:57.000 Oh, no kidding!

01:58:59.000 Yeah, Jamaicans are known for being, like, very hustle-oriented, hard workers.

01:59:03.000 Well, see, that's a New York thing.

01:59:04.000 I mean, the only thing I've ever heard about Jamaicans is the stereotype of pot and all that stuff.

01:59:08.000 That, too.

01:59:08.000 But they have a lot of jobs.

01:59:10.000 Pot smokers having five jobs goes to show you it doesn't take away your ambition. 0.96

01:59:13.000 They don't.

01:59:15.000 That's nonsense.

01:59:16.000 Look, I smoke a lot of pot.

01:59:17.000 I'm pretty ambitious.

01:59:19.000 I work a lot.

01:59:21.000 I'll do a show where I'm criticizing someone or something, and then I'll smoke a joint afterwards to relax, and then I start second-guessing everything I said.

01:59:31.000 Yeah, of course.

01:59:32.000 Do you do that?

01:59:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:59:33.000 Definitely.

01:59:33.000 Okay, I feel better.

01:59:34.000 We're talking shit. 0.99

01:59:35.000 Yeah, I know. 1.00

01:59:36.000 I mean, I'm thinking about my poorly worded rant of male versus women, and I'm thinking like, well, I probably should have said that better.

01:59:42.000 But that's just part of how it works.

01:59:45.000 What I was getting at from all of this, though, is that... 0.95

01:59:49.000 We have to look at each other as individuals, and this identity politics bullshit that people play, whether it's male versus female, whether it's black versus white and Asian and this and that, they have to be humans, humans first.

02:00:03.000 And one of the weirder things that's going on in Hollywood now is they're leaning so hard on diversity that it gets distracting. 0.72

02:00:13.000 It's like it gets, like, I went to see, as an example, I went to see Frozen, the musical.

02:00:18.000 Frozen is about a Nordic... 0.99

02:00:19.000 There's Nordic people, one girl has magic.

02:00:21.000 Did you ever see it?

02:00:22.000 You don't have kids, do you?

02:00:22.000 No, I don't.

02:00:24.000 In the play, in the musical, the dad is black and the mom's Chinese.

02:00:31.000 Which is like, okay, maybe she's Asian. 0.80

02:00:33.000 I don't know.

02:00:33.000 Maybe she's Korean.

02:00:34.000 I don't know.

02:00:34.000 It's hard to tell.

02:00:35.000 I can't see that good.

02:00:36.000 I'm 52. She's pretty far away.

02:00:37.000 But she was obviously Asian. 0.99

02:00:39.000 And then they have a kid.

02:00:40.000 And then the young version of the kid is Asian. 0.96

02:00:43.000 And then the old version of the kid later in the musical is white. 0.97

02:00:50.000 I'm like, you're distracting the fuck out of me here. 0.93

02:00:51.000 Yeah, that's distracting. 0.98

02:00:52.000 You're distracting the fuck out of me. 0.99

02:00:53.000 How does a black guy and an Asian lady make two blonde ladies? 1.00

02:00:57.000 What's happening here?

02:00:58.000 Or one has red hair.

02:01:00.000 How'd that happen?

02:01:01.000 How did the black guy and the Chinese lady make a blonde? 1.00

02:01:05.000 I guess...

02:01:06.000 Like, don't you go, continuity?

02:01:07.000 But they're just...

02:01:08.000 It's distracting.

02:01:10.000 He was great in his role.

02:01:12.000 She was great in her role.

02:01:13.000 They were excellent.

02:01:13.000 It worked.

02:01:15.000 I accepted it, and I moved on.

02:01:17.000 But I know what you're doing.

02:01:19.000 If you had a white guy playing a black guy in a movie, I'd be like, what is happening here? 0.90

02:01:23.000 Why is this white guy pretending to be a black guy? 0.64

02:01:26.000 Are we going to address this? 0.75

02:01:28.000 If there was a musical, and there was a guy, and we decided, we'll just have a white guy play the father of some black guy, and we're just not going to say why he had a kid that was black.

02:01:40.000 We just assume that you'll figure it out.

02:01:42.000 Or just, you know...

02:01:44.000 Yeah, that breaks the fourth wall.

02:01:46.000 It breaks your...

02:01:47.000 Distracting!

02:01:48.000 I'm suspending my disbelief, and then you're doing things to make me disbelieve.

02:01:52.000 It's distracting.

02:01:53.000 It's distracting.

02:01:54.000 But I appreciate it.

02:01:56.000 You understand what they're doing.

02:01:57.000 I appreciate it, because I think ultimately what it is, is it's all...

02:02:03.000 All of it is moving in the right direction It's just doing it in a very clunky way They're moving against discrimination They're moving against racism They're moving for cultural diversity Beautiful But it's just distracting.

02:02:17.000 The way they're doing it is so odd.

02:02:18.000 But it's like Hollywood is so gross. 0.99

02:02:20.000 They lick their finger. 1.00

02:02:22.000 They have no virtue. 0.99

02:02:23.000 They lick their finger. 0.99

02:02:24.000 They're like, which way the wind blowing?

02:02:25.000 This way?

02:02:25.000 We need Asians!

02:02:26.000 And then they'll just fucking start hiring Asians for things and trying to get Asian people jobs and try to, look, look, look, look, we have Asians! 0.99

02:02:33.000 We're really... 0.99

02:02:34.000 And then if it becomes Jamaicans, Jamaicans! 0.94

02:02:36.000 We need Jamaicans. 0.99

02:02:37.000 Get them in here.

02:02:38.000 Get them in here. 1.00

02:02:38.000 They don't give a fuck. 1.00

02:02:39.000 They're trying to make money. 0.99

02:02:41.000 They're trying to make money, and one of the best ways to make money is to ride cultural trends.

02:02:45.000 And so, our cultural trend right now is a good one.

02:02:48.000 Even though there's a lot of people that are...

02:02:51.000 They're basically...

02:02:53.000 They're controversy pimps, right? 0.93

02:02:55.000 So when these things come up, they use this controversy to gain money or notoriety or push their cause or to use it as the wind behind their sail so they can talk a lot of shit about other people and get a lot of attention. 0.82

02:03:09.000 It gives them a bit of immunity. 0.76

02:03:10.000 Yes, it gives them a lot of immunity.

02:03:14.000 I've experienced it.

02:03:15.000 Of course.

02:03:16.000 Yeah.

02:03:16.000 How have you experienced it?

02:03:17.000 I've had people accuse me of being sexist.

02:03:20.000 We already established that you were sexist.

02:03:22.000 Well, of course I am.

02:03:23.000 Because I treat women equally.

02:03:26.000 Yes, that's the problem.

02:03:28.000 You know I was sexist because I voted for Jill Stein. 0.99

02:03:30.000 Well, anybody that says you're sexist for making fun of Elizabeth Warren dancing is a fucking buffoon, and that's a perfect example of what I'm talking about. 1.00

02:03:36.000 Like, are you saying that you're a person running for the commander-in-chief of the greatest army the world has ever known, and you can't make fun of the way they dance because they have a vagina? 1.00

02:03:45.000 Fuck you! 1.00

02:03:46.000 I am woman, hear me roar, just don't make fun of my dancing. 1.00

02:03:48.000 Or my roars.

02:03:49.000 My roar is like, rawr!

02:03:52.000 Again, it's like, I thought the answer to this was to treat everybody equally.

02:03:55.000 Yes.

02:03:56.000 That's how it should be.

02:03:57.000 But identity politics, the real problem with it, of course, always, is that you cannot ever say, this is a man, so he must be that.

02:04:07.000 This is a woman, so she must be that. 0.99

02:04:08.000 This is a black person, so they must be this. 1.00

02:04:11.000 Those generalizations are bad for everybody.

02:04:13.000 People are nuanced.

02:04:14.000 And if we don't believe in the individual, then we don't really believe in equality.

02:04:20.000 We have to, everyone has to have their own way to make it through this life and express themselves in a unique way where they can contribute in a unique way and we can appreciate them for who they are.

02:04:31.000 Not appreciate them as a woman or appreciate them as a man or as a white man or a black woman or what. 0.86

02:04:37.000 That's nonsense. 1.00

02:04:38.000 It's so dumb. 1.00

02:04:39.000 You might happen to be a black man, or you might happen to be an Asian man, you might happen to be all those things, but you're a person. 1.00

02:04:48.000 You're a fucking individual. 0.99

02:04:49.000 And we should, especially when it comes to meritocracy things, like positions of power in government, like you get elected officials, or even comedians or anything else, you want to make sure that the person who's They're good. 0.99

02:05:06.000 They're just good.

02:05:08.000 Yes, so there's that.

02:05:09.000 But then there's also this other little part of it.

02:05:12.000 So even someone who, say, doesn't have the pedigree, like there's a white guy from Harvard, right?

02:05:17.000 He has the straight A's, the greatest whatever.

02:05:20.000 And then you might get an A-minus student who's a minority or a B-plus student, and that would be more effective to have in a position because they have a different world experience. 0.57

02:05:30.000 So a meritocracy, in a sense, kind of leaves out some people who have different hurdles to get over and have different life experiences that this person won't have.

02:05:39.000 You know, you see what I'm saying?

02:05:40.000 Like, you become the people you're surrounded by.

02:05:42.000 So you might be an African-American, but...

02:05:48.000 So it's more important to have different economic represented, because you can be really smart, like Chelsea Clinton, but she doesn't know what it's like to have her medicine. 0.86

02:05:59.000 She doesn't know what it's like to have to drop a pharmacy to get medicine for her daughter. 0.98

02:06:03.000 You know what I mean?

02:06:03.000 She might be super smart, but she doesn't have this information that we need, which is like when FDR, when he was doing the banks and stuff, he got a banker from Texas.

02:06:12.000 He didn't go to Wall Street.

02:06:13.000 You know what I mean?

02:06:13.000 He got regular people to come in.

02:06:16.000 So there's something to that too, right?

02:06:18.000 So it's not just a straight meritocracy.

02:06:20.000 Well, it is a meritocracy in that there's merit in their life experiences.

02:06:24.000 These individuals that live these difficult lives.

02:06:28.000 I think that's one of the greatest currencies that a person really carries with them in their life is their experience overcoming adversity.

02:06:36.000 Their experience overcoming adversity Shapes their character.

02:06:40.000 Yes. 0.97

02:06:40.000 And when you meet someone, maybe you meet this woman and she has all B's through college, but she's been through a lot of shit and she's uniquely clever in how she handles things. 0.97

02:06:54.000 And you talk to her and you look at her record and you go, you know what? 0.51

02:06:56.000 I like you better than this guy who got all A's because he seems kind of like spectrum-y and he's not going to fit in with my company. 1.00

02:07:04.000 But yeah, that makes sense.

02:07:05.000 But that, again...

02:07:07.000 You don't just look at meritocracy, you don't just look at grades.

02:07:11.000 You look at the human overall, the individual.

02:07:14.000 And there's a lot of benefit to people that have overcome difficult lives. 0.98

02:07:19.000 Those people come out interesting, those people come out important, because they've seen some shit that you haven't seen. 0.92

02:07:27.000 Yes, that is what, and they understand things that you don't understand. 0.95

02:07:31.000 And that's why a guy like Barack Obama could have a diverse cabinet, but they're all from the same class. 0.59

02:07:38.000 Right.

02:07:39.000 That's fake diversity.

02:07:40.000 That's fake diversity.

02:07:41.000 Yes.

02:07:42.000 He served the establishment power like any white president did, and his cabinet did the same thing.

02:07:49.000 By the way, his cabinet came from an email from Citigroup, which I know you know. 1.00

02:07:53.000 Yeah, fuck. 1.00

02:07:54.000 You know, these things are complicated. 1.00

02:07:59.000 That's part of the problem with any of these conversations.

02:08:02.000 And also, they're so loaded.

02:08:04.000 When you talk about men or women or black or white or anything, everybody's on edge. 1.00

02:08:08.000 Like, don't say anything stupid. 0.99

02:08:10.000 How do you feel really? 1.00

02:08:11.000 Well, I'm white.

02:08:13.000 So I don't have those experiences.

02:08:14.000 So I always try to limit how I talk about it.

02:08:17.000 Like I always say I shouldn't be talking about this because I don't have- But you should be talking about anything you want to talk about.

02:08:22.000 This idea that you should be silenced because you're not in some protected group.

02:08:29.000 That's nonsense. 0.99

02:08:31.000 Well, I'm always afraid I'm going to say something ridiculous and ignorant, which I do often say. 0.99

02:08:36.000 Yeah, me too. 1.00

02:08:38.000 We're going to say ignorant, ridiculous shit. 1.00

02:08:40.000 You have to have the ability to say ignorant, ridiculous shit if you're going to have a free-flowing conversation. 1.00

02:08:45.000 Like, you and I, we didn't even talk on the phone before this. 1.00

02:08:48.000 We had no idea what we were going to talk about.

02:08:49.000 We didn't do a pre-interview.

02:08:51.000 Nothing!

02:08:51.000 We did nothing.

02:08:52.000 We come in here, we start rattle.

02:08:53.000 Can you imagine if we did a pre-interview?

02:08:54.000 It would be hilarious.

02:08:55.000 We just started talking about farts or... 0.96

02:08:58.000 Blowjobs, cigars. 1.00

02:08:58.000 Our pre-interview would be fucking ridiculous. 1.00

02:09:02.000 What do you want to talk about, Jimmy? 0.99

02:09:04.000 I don't know. 0.97

02:09:05.000 It would most certainly be ridiculous. 0.55

02:09:07.000 I would jack it off seven times a day to keep my testosterone up. 0.68

02:09:09.000 Let's talk about that.

02:09:10.000 Yeah.

02:09:11.000 Get it.

02:09:12.000 Pre-interviews.

02:09:13.000 They still do pre-interviews.

02:09:15.000 By the way, do you ever watch any of those shows?

02:09:18.000 Ever?

02:09:18.000 No.

02:09:18.000 No one does.

02:09:20.000 Very few people are watching those shows.

02:09:22.000 I mean, Conan O'Brien get less views than my show.

02:09:25.000 No, I know.

02:09:25.000 It's sad.

02:09:26.000 That's why they're all doing podcasts now.

02:09:28.000 I know. 1.00

02:09:28.000 Because no one's watching that fucking show. 1.00

02:09:29.000 There was a crazy article that Conan O'Brien is leading the wave. 1.00

02:09:33.000 Oh my god!

02:09:34.000 Do you see that?

02:09:34.000 In new media!

02:09:35.000 Yes!

02:09:36.000 Like, what are you talking about? 1.00

02:09:37.000 We've been doing this shit for 15 years, bitches! 1.00

02:09:42.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:09:43.000 He doesn't even get good numbers on his podcast. 1.00

02:09:46.000 No?

02:09:46.000 No!

02:09:47.000 Like, the actual downloads, I mean, he does alright, but he doesn't do as good as, like, Dax Shepard or me or any of the people that are at the top of the heap in comedy.

02:09:56.000 Well, you know, you use your platform, Joe, to actually have real conversations and say things.

02:10:01.000 Now, I haven't listened to Conan Bryan's podcast because, you know, I've got anything else to do, but...

02:10:06.000 He's interviewing famous people. 0.99

02:10:08.000 Yeah, it's fucking the same bullshit, and it's not... 0.99

02:10:10.000 I mean, hey, Marc Maron's got that covered, right? 1.00

02:10:12.000 He did that. 0.99

02:10:13.000 He's been doing it for 10 fucking years. 1.00

02:10:14.000 That's right. 1.00

02:10:15.000 People opened up to their heart.

02:10:16.000 So he has this thing, and then you do this other thing. 0.99

02:10:19.000 It's fucking covered. 0.96

02:10:20.000 You aren't breaking any new... 0.99

02:10:22.000 That was crazy.

02:10:22.000 That was a New York Times headline, wasn't it, Joe?

02:10:25.000 I think it was Variety.

02:10:26.000 Or was it Variety?

02:10:27.000 I think it was Variety. 1.00

02:10:28.000 And everybody in Hollywood was like, what in the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

02:10:31.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

02:10:32.000 Well, it was funny too, yeah.

02:10:34.000 I got tagged on it so many times, I'm like, I'm not even going to comment.

02:10:37.000 Because I can't.

02:10:38.000 It's Conan O'Brien, he's revolutionized.

02:10:40.000 Yeah, he's changing the game.

02:10:41.000 He's changing the game!

02:10:43.000 Because he had a photo shoot.

02:10:45.000 Yeah, he's a white male. 0.99

02:10:46.000 He's a problem. 0.99

02:10:47.000 He is a cis male. 0.74

02:10:48.000 He's another one of those white men at the top of podcasting. 1.00

02:10:50.000 It's bullshit. 1.00

02:10:53.000 Yeah, I don't know if he's at the top of podcasting, Joe. 1.00

02:10:55.000 I wouldn't say that.

02:10:56.000 All of it.

02:10:56.000 It's just gross.

02:10:57.000 Did you ever do his show?

02:10:58.000 Yeah, I did his show before.

02:11:00.000 A couple times.

02:11:00.000 They all seem like nice people.

02:11:02.000 He's a nice guy.

02:11:03.000 They all seem like very nice people.

02:11:05.000 I feel bad when I go after them on Twitter.

02:11:08.000 I go after Andy Richter all the time.

02:11:09.000 Of course you do.

02:11:10.000 I go after Andy Richter all the time.

02:11:11.000 Why do you go after Andy Richter?

02:11:12.000 I can tell he's a nice guy.

02:11:13.000 Why do you go after him?

02:11:14.000 Well, because he's famous, right?

02:11:17.000 And he's a white male.

02:11:18.000 And he's a white male. 1.00

02:11:19.000 He's a real problem. 0.99

02:11:20.000 So it's very safe for me to go after him.

02:11:23.000 But there's this Hollywood mentality on the left, right?

02:11:27.000 And this Hollywood mentality on the left is that all bad things started in January 2017. They have no idea how he got there.

02:11:34.000 So he's tweeting out this stuff about how Trump has the cognition of an 8-year-old, right?

02:11:38.000 Because he wants to do war crimes. 0.78

02:11:42.000 Can you believe this guy? 0.99

02:11:43.000 I'm like, dude, they've been fucking doing war crimes since I was born. 0.98

02:11:46.000 Why are you acting like this just started? 0.97

02:11:48.000 We don't ever prosecute them, and they're not going to prosecute him for war crimes. 0.99

02:11:52.000 Why are you fucking doing that? 0.99

02:11:53.000 You know what war criminals do? 1.00

02:11:54.000 They go and dance with Ellen on daytime television.

02:11:57.000 That's the cognition of Hollywood.

02:11:59.000 Michelle Obama says George Bush and her have the exact same values.

02:12:02.000 A war criminal. 0.53

02:12:03.000 She has the exact same. 1.00

02:12:04.000 That's the cognition of a fucking first lady. 1.00

02:12:07.000 We're going to talk about cognition, how we fucking got here, and you're smarter than that, Andy Richter, and that's why I hold his feet to the fire. 1.00

02:12:14.000 I know he's a nice guy. 0.93

02:12:15.000 But he gets locked into that team mentality.

02:12:17.000 It's all team. 0.99

02:12:18.000 It's all fucking vote blue no matter who. 0.98

02:12:20.000 It's all forget how we got here. 0.99

02:12:23.000 Let's forget that Barack Obama was unbelievably corrupt, which is why we don't have a functioning banking system, which is why we don't have a functioning healthcare system, which is why he took us from two wars to seven, which is why he had a peace prize and a fucking kill list. 0.99

02:12:38.000 Where's my kill list? 0.99

02:12:39.000 Oh, maybe it's underneath my peace prize.

02:12:40.000 I use it as a paperweight, kind of ironically.

02:12:44.000 Anyway, these are the things that I try to focus on, Joe.

02:12:46.000 By the way, I was right about all of them.

02:12:48.000 Yes. 0.99

02:12:48.000 And I was right about fucking Russiagate. 0.99

02:12:50.000 You were. 0.99

02:12:51.000 But the beautiful thing about you- Did I come out here and do a victory lap yet?

02:12:53.000 You should.

02:12:53.000 You should spit around in your chair.

02:12:55.000 The thing about you, though, is you are a left-wing guy that's willing to criticize the left.

02:13:01.000 And for some people, that seems to be a taboo thing.

02:13:04.000 They don't want to talk about the left.

02:13:05.000 Oh, you can't.

02:13:06.000 First of all, I found out that people who want to make it in the Democratic Party are not allowed to come to my shows.

02:13:12.000 No.

02:13:13.000 So I was doing a show and this woman who I know who was involved in Democratic politics, I kind of want to say anything about who they are, because they'll get in trouble.

02:13:20.000 And so she came to my show.

02:13:22.000 And she goes, you know, this other person who's climbing in the Democratic Party was supposed to come with me.

02:13:27.000 And at the last minute, she didn't.

02:13:29.000 And I called her and I said, why don't you come?

02:13:30.000 And she goes, you know, if I get seen at a Jimmy Dore show, my career in the Democratic Party is over.

02:13:34.000 Oh, it's Kamala Harris.

02:13:35.000 I can tell by your accent. 1.00

02:13:36.000 You racist piece of shit. 1.00

02:13:38.000 I can tell. 1.00

02:13:39.000 Couldn't you tell, Jamie?

02:13:40.000 I can tell.

02:13:41.000 And I'm like, that's...

02:13:42.000 Has she ever been on your show?

02:13:44.000 Kamala Harris?

02:13:45.000 Yes.

02:13:45.000 No.

02:13:46.000 Oh, it must be her.

02:13:47.000 Oh, we did some quick, easy FBI work right there.

02:13:50.000 So anyway, that made me feel good.

02:13:52.000 That makes me feel good.

02:13:53.000 I want to be an outsider.

02:13:55.000 I want people to be afraid of me.

02:13:57.000 They're afraid of you now.

02:13:57.000 Well, I don't know if they are, but they won't come on my show.

02:14:00.000 So that's good.

02:14:01.000 And by the way, my show was never about guests. 0.98

02:14:03.000 My show was all about my opinion and calling out bullshit. 0.99

02:14:06.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:14:07.000 You're doing the right thing.

02:14:09.000 I'm doing the wrong thing because they all keep asking to be on my show.

02:14:12.000 Oh, okay.

02:14:12.000 I've had requests from all of them.

02:14:14.000 Really?

02:14:15.000 Oh, yeah.

02:14:15.000 Biden, Warren.

02:14:17.000 How do you resist that shit? 1.00

02:14:19.000 Mayor Pete. 1.00

02:14:20.000 Because I have my friends.

02:14:21.000 I'd rather talk to my friends.

02:14:22.000 Yeah, I know.

02:14:23.000 I get a boner.

02:14:24.000 I like Tulsi and I like Bernie.

02:14:26.000 That's it.

02:14:26.000 Oh, yeah?

02:14:27.000 Everybody else can eat shit. 1.00

02:14:28.000 Look at you, fucking progressive. 1.00

02:14:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:14:30.000 Well, I've always been.

02:14:31.000 Yeah.

02:14:32.000 What?

02:14:33.000 Yeah.

02:14:33.000 Everyone says you're a right-winger.

02:14:34.000 They're out of their fucking mind. 1.00

02:14:35.000 I've never voted right-wing in my life. 1.00

02:14:37.000 Really?

02:14:37.000 Never.

02:14:38.000 Never.

02:14:39.000 I voted Democrat except for Independent.

02:14:42.000 I voted for Gary Johnson because he did my podcast.

02:14:47.000 People don't realize how powerful.

02:14:48.000 Yeah, I'm not right-wing at all.

02:14:50.000 Oh, okay.

02:14:51.000 That's wild.

02:14:52.000 No, there's nothing about me that's right-wing. 0.96

02:14:54.000 When you kill your own food. 0.95

02:14:55.000 That's it.

02:14:56.000 Well, that's crazy.

02:14:57.000 95-plus percent of the population of the planet eats meat.

02:15:00.000 I just happen to kill my own.

02:15:02.000 Yeah, that's it. 0.83

02:15:04.000 It's not like 95% of the population is right-wing because they kill their own food.

02:15:07.000 I think there's a lot of right-wing family values and things like that that I admire.

02:15:13.000 But when it gets to homophobia, when it gets to women's rights, that's where I break. 0.91

02:15:20.000 I'm 100% in favor of women's rights, 100% in favor of gay rights, gay marriage.

02:15:26.000 I'm a big proponent of...

02:15:29.000 There's got to be some new action taken to clean up a lot of these crime-ridden communities.

02:15:35.000 And the idea that we can spend all this money overseas, but we can't spend money on Flint, Michigan, or Detroit, or the South Side of Chicago, that to me is insane.

02:15:43.000 That doesn't make any sense. 1.00

02:15:44.000 And this idea that we're all on the same starting page is so fucking stupid, too. 0.99

02:15:49.000 That is a very non-right-wing way of looking at it, because everybody's like, you've got to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. 0.99

02:15:54.000 There's a lot of people that came out of bad neighborhoods, but they didn't fucking cry, woe is me. 0.99

02:15:58.000 They just went out there and they kicked ass. 1.00

02:16:00.000 That's nonsense. 1.00

02:16:01.000 You have no idea what it's like to grow up in a crime-ridden...

02:16:05.000 Poverty-infested, drug-addled neighborhood.

02:16:08.000 You don't know what that's like, and we should make it so that no one knows what that's like.

02:16:12.000 If we want America better, the best way to start is to clean up all the spots that suck and make people that are coming out of there have a real chance at making something out of their life.

02:16:22.000 Don't have it so that they're starting out from the time they're a child with a massive deficit.

02:16:28.000 That, to me...

02:16:28.000 And what you mean by cleaning up the...

02:16:31.000 I mean community programs, putting money...

02:16:34.000 Jobs.

02:16:35.000 Jobs.

02:16:36.000 Not just jobs, but community programs where kids have a safe place to go.

02:16:40.000 That's a big part of it.

02:16:41.000 Protect them from the gangs.

02:16:43.000 Put more cops in those neighborhoods and have them there all the time. 0.99

02:16:46.000 Make them a part of the community.

02:16:48.000 They've got to do something about the violence and do something about the gangs in this repetitive cycle of people growing up in these neighborhoods and getting trapped in these same horrible conditions that their parents did or their grandparents did.

02:17:00.000 And it's an endless cycle.

02:17:02.000 And we pretend like we don't have the resources to fix these.

02:17:05.000 FDR did.

02:17:06.000 You want a job?

02:17:07.000 I'll give you a job.

02:17:08.000 That means you're going to go work.

02:17:10.000 I'm not giving you anything.

02:17:11.000 You're earning it.

02:17:12.000 And guess what?

02:17:13.000 We have the money for it.

02:17:14.000 Wouldn't that be amazing if they did that?

02:17:16.000 There could be strategies that are implemented that might not all work.

02:17:20.000 But I don't feel like anything's doing it.

02:17:23.000 We're going to have enterprise zones.

02:17:25.000 Yeah.

02:17:26.000 Obviously, and then they want the school to fix all the problems of the community.

02:17:31.000 No, what you need is jobs.

02:17:32.000 What people need is something to look forward to.

02:17:35.000 They need to know that if they play by the rules, they will get things.

02:17:38.000 You can have a job right now, those people working, and they don't have any healthcare.

02:17:42.000 Right.

02:17:42.000 And they get broken, their life goes upside down.

02:17:44.000 Exactly.

02:17:44.000 I mean, you know how.

02:17:44.000 I have a job, but I got sick, my life got turned upside down because of bills.

02:17:48.000 Yes.

02:17:49.000 And this is not just black communities either.

02:17:51.000 We're talking about the coal mining communities in West Virginia.

02:17:54.000 West Virginia, exactly.

02:17:54.000 It's horrific, man.

02:17:56.000 I have a good friend who's from there.

02:17:58.000 He's like, man, you don't know what poverty is like.

02:18:01.000 You don't even know what poverty is like until you see that.

02:18:03.000 These people have nothing.

02:18:04.000 I talked to a guy on my show.

02:18:05.000 His name is Nick Smith from Virginia.

02:18:07.000 And he told me he was a Waffle House cook. 1.00

02:18:10.000 And he told me, and I might have even told you this before, he said, hey, we all knew that Donald Trump was a loudmouthed Yankee who should have had his ass kicked a long time ago. 0.99

02:18:17.000 But Hillary Clinton wasn't offering us anything. 1.00

02:18:20.000 So he was at least offering us something.

02:18:22.000 So they're desperate.

02:18:23.000 These people need something.

02:18:25.000 She wouldn't even sign on to a $15 minimum wage when she was running. 1.00

02:18:28.000 What the fuck's wrong with you? 0.99

02:18:30.000 Well, she didn't even believe in gay marriage until 2013. How about that? 1.00

02:18:35.000 2013 is when she came around with gay marriage.

02:18:39.000 You were ahead of her on that, weren't you, Joe?

02:18:41.000 Well, I actually lived in San Francisco around gay people when I was real little.

02:18:45.000 I was like 7 to 11. My family lived right off of Lombard Street.

02:18:50.000 No kidding!

02:18:51.000 Yeah, we lived in San Francisco in the height of the...

02:18:53.000 I mean, it was the Vietnam War.

02:18:55.000 There was all these hippies.

02:18:57.000 My stepdad was a hippie.

02:18:58.000 Oh, no kidding.

02:18:59.000 Yeah.

02:19:00.000 So it's like, I mean, I've been liberal my whole life.

02:19:03.000 I just look like a Republican.

02:19:05.000 You know?

02:19:06.000 Yeah, I think that's it. 0.99

02:19:07.000 And you like beating the shit out of people. 0.99

02:19:08.000 Well, I like some violent things, and I have guns, and you know, there's a lot of things that you could make an inference, like, oh, that guy seems like you would be. 0.98

02:19:16.000 But no, I... My friend Graham Elwood is, do you know him?

02:19:19.000 Sure. 0.79

02:19:20.000 He was on his livestream the other day, and he's very anti-war like me, and so these people were fucking with him to be pro-war. 0.98

02:19:26.000 And he's like, that's right, I'll knock you out! 0.97

02:19:28.000 That's right, you ever been knocked out by a vegetarian? 0.66

02:19:34.000 Like, that should be a t-shirt.

02:19:37.000 That's hilarious.

02:19:38.000 Well, that's another group that people like to play identity politics with.

02:19:42.000 What are you eating?

02:19:43.000 You know, how much of that is...

02:19:45.000 So you with the meat.

02:19:46.000 So my doctor, Dr. Sharp.

02:19:47.000 So now you have a special bone problem, right?

02:19:49.000 Dr. Sharp from Pasadena?

02:19:50.000 That's right. 1.00

02:19:52.000 Holy shit! 1.00

02:19:53.000 Yeah, I should have said that. 1.00

02:19:54.000 I would have been on it, man.

02:19:55.000 So he tells me, he always does this, like this, right?

02:19:58.000 He goes, Jimmy, you're from Chicago.

02:20:00.000 You eat meat, right?

02:20:03.000 Deep dish pizza, right?

02:20:05.000 And I go, yeah, I'm trying not to.

02:20:08.000 And he goes, why?

02:20:10.000 I go, you know, global warming.

02:20:13.000 I saw cows jumping like dogs.

02:20:16.000 I feel bad.

02:20:18.000 That video of them bouncing around?

02:20:20.000 I can't eat pork anymore.

02:20:22.000 I just can't eat pork anymore.

02:20:24.000 Pork is shady.

02:20:26.000 I can't do it. 0.99

02:20:26.000 But wild pigs must be stopped. 0.99

02:20:30.000 Oh, they can kill you, right? 0.99

02:20:32.000 Boars? 0.99

02:20:33.000 Wild boars?

02:20:33.000 Well, they killed a lady in Texas and ate her.

02:20:35.000 They found her, an elderly lady, they found her in her driveway, torn apart by wild pigs.

02:20:41.000 She was on her way out to the car and she just ran into a pack of them and they took her out.

02:20:45.000 A pack?

02:20:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:20:47.000 Yeah, I've seen videos.

02:20:49.000 Those things are... 1.00

02:20:49.000 They have to kill them. 1.00

02:20:50.000 There's so many of them, and they breed so quickly. 1.00

02:20:52.000 They have four in a litter.

02:20:54.000 They'll have four litters in a year.

02:20:56.000 Really?

02:20:57.000 Yeah.

02:20:57.000 Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

02:20:59.000 That's why there's millions and millions of wild pigs. 0.99

02:21:01.000 They started with just a few pigs that were on, like, the Pinta or the Santa Maria or some shit, and they spread across the entire country. 0.98

02:21:08.000 But once you find out that they have emotions... 0.99

02:21:10.000 Yes, that's a problem.

02:21:11.000 That's what I can't...

02:21:12.000 I can't do that.

02:21:12.000 They have emotions...

02:21:13.000 That's why you shoot them from a distance.

02:21:18.000 You don't want to get up close.

02:21:19.000 So your theory is they don't know it's coming?

02:21:21.000 No.

02:21:22.000 But that is a good way to do it because then they die quickly. 1.00

02:21:24.000 But what if you kill their mother? 1.00

02:21:25.000 What if you have a pig and then you kill the pig's mother? 0.99

02:21:27.000 You don't do that if you're an ethical hunter. 0.95

02:21:28.000 You don't shoot a pig that has piglets.

02:21:31.000 You try to avoid it.

02:21:32.000 What about a deer?

02:21:33.000 They don't do that either.

02:21:35.000 That's illegal.

02:21:36.000 The only time they do do that, though, in some places illegal, the only time they do do that with pigs is when they're trying to eradicate all of them.

02:21:44.000 Like, there's some farmlands that experience just devastating losses because of wild pigs.

02:21:49.000 Okay.

02:21:50.000 And especially in Texas, millions and millions of dollars a year, which cripples these companies.

02:21:53.000 They go under because of wild pigs.

02:21:56.000 Like, some farms can literally go bankrupt.

02:21:58.000 Oh, my God.

02:21:59.000 You have no idea what it's like unless you've been around them.

02:22:02.000 But what about pig farming, right?

02:22:04.000 That's a different thing. 0.75

02:22:05.000 Yeah, most pig farming is disgusting. 0.56

02:22:06.000 I can't... 0.96

02:22:07.000 It's horrible.

02:22:08.000 But then there's ethical pig farms where they raise these pigs, where they let them roam around. 0.90

02:22:13.000 And the meat looks different because they're eating acorns and natural foods.

02:22:16.000 Oh, really?

02:22:17.000 Yeah, there's a guy named Joel Salatin, and he runs this farm called Polyface Farms, and he's all about regenerative farming.

02:22:26.000 And he discusses how the way animals live best is the way they live naturally.

02:22:33.000 Chickens are supposed to roam free. 0.98

02:22:34.000 So he has this portable chicken house and they roll it into a new field and then the chickens go into the chicken house at night and then in the morning they come out and then they go roam around and they move it to another spot.

02:22:45.000 So they eat all the bugs and all the grass and all the stuff in the area and then they move to a new spot.

02:22:50.000 And so they raise chickens and the eggs are healthier.

02:22:54.000 The pigs, the pork is healthier.

02:22:57.000 These pigs are wandering around in these open areas and then they corral them and then they kill them quickly.

02:23:05.000 I just, once I found out, you know, they have real emotions like dogs, I just think about my dog, and I just fall apart.

02:23:12.000 I can't...

02:23:13.000 I hear you.

02:23:14.000 But wild pigs are different animals.

02:23:16.000 Yeah, that's different.

02:23:17.000 Because they're an invasive species, you know they actually morph, they change shape?

02:23:22.000 Like a wild pig and a domestic pig is the same animal.

02:23:25.000 Like when people talk about, oh, a Russian wild boar, this is all nonsense. 0.53

02:23:29.000 It's all Sue Scroffa.

02:23:30.000 It's all one genus.

02:23:31.000 It's the same animal.

02:23:33.000 Really?

02:23:33.000 Yeah, when a wild, when a pig, a domestic pig goes wild, I mean, there's different versions of them, but they can all breed with each other.

02:23:40.000 When a domestic pig goes wild, like say if you had a domestic pig and you said, go ahead, Porky, be free, and you open up your gate, within weeks, within weeks, they start to physically change.

02:23:51.000 Their snout starts to lengthen, their hair gets thicker and bushier, and their tusks grow.

02:23:57.000 No kidding.

02:23:58.000 Yes, they literally become what you think of when you think of wild boars.

02:24:02.000 It just takes a while.

02:24:04.000 But they're one of the weirder animals.

02:24:07.000 They're almost like gremlins when you feed them after midnight.

02:24:09.000 When you let them go, they start changing.

02:24:11.000 They morph.

02:24:12.000 So I... So Dr. Sharp says to me, from Pasadena, he says, well, you should eat meat.

02:24:20.000 And I'm like, because of my condition, right?

02:24:23.000 And he tells this long story about how we evolved.

02:24:26.000 He sits down and starts telling me.

02:24:28.000 And about how we were cavemen and inside the glaciers and the thing.

02:24:32.000 And he's like, so you should eat meat, especially you, because of your condition.

02:24:35.000 And I go, okay, well, how often?

02:24:37.000 And he goes, every day.

02:24:39.000 And I was like, Jesus, I can't do that, you know?

02:24:42.000 But this is medical advice from a guy who saved my life, right?

02:24:45.000 So it's like, I eat meat a couple times a week.

02:24:48.000 Do you feel better or worse when you eat it?

02:24:52.000 I do have more energy.

02:24:54.000 Yeah, well that's probably good, right?

02:24:56.000 Yeah.

02:24:56.000 Why don't you eat meat more often?

02:24:58.000 Just because of conscience.

02:24:59.000 You don't have to eat pork.

02:25:01.000 I know.

02:25:02.000 If you eat humanely raised meat... 1.00

02:25:05.000 So there's grass-fed, that kind of shit? 0.99

02:25:07.000 Yeah, you can buy grass-fed, grass-finished meat from farmers that have a commitment to humanely raised and humanely euthanized animals. 1.00

02:25:15.000 I wouldn't say euthanized, killed animals.

02:25:18.000 The way they kill them when they harvest them, they just lead them into a pen, they have no idea what's coming, and they put a bolt to their head and bang, they take them out.

02:25:25.000 It can be done in a way where the animal has no idea what happens until it's over.

02:25:30.000 Mm-hmm.

02:25:31.000 And it's not like they're going to live forever.

02:25:33.000 I mean, obviously, this is a slippery argument because you say that about people too, right? 1.00

02:25:37.000 This guy's an asshole. 1.00

02:25:38.000 Let's just kill him. 1.00

02:25:39.000 It's not like he's going to live forever. 1.00

02:25:40.000 You don't want to say that.

02:25:42.000 But the quality of the meat is far better if the animal is living a natural life.

02:25:50.000 Right.

02:25:50.000 You're talking about organic.

02:25:52.000 No hormones.

02:25:53.000 No hormones.

02:25:54.000 No antibiotics.

02:25:55.000 Feeding at corn.

02:25:55.000 Yeah.

02:25:56.000 No corn, man. 1.00

02:25:57.000 That shit's terrible for cows. 1.00

02:25:58.000 I know. 1.00

02:25:58.000 They're not supposed to eat that. 1.00

02:26:00.000 They're ruminants. 1.00

02:26:02.000 They eat fucking grass. 1.00

02:26:04.000 That's what they do. 1.00

02:26:04.000 When they're at their best and healthiest and healthiest for you. 1.00

02:26:07.000 There's better fatty acids in it.

02:26:09.000 It's just healthier for you.

02:26:10.000 And so you think if you went vegetarian it would be bad for your health?

02:26:14.000 I don't know.

02:26:16.000 I don't I think it's definitely doable.

02:26:20.000 I definitely think you can go vegetarian and be healthy.

02:26:23.000 But you have to be really careful about a lot of your nutrient levels.

02:26:27.000 You have to really make sure you get enough vitamin D, a lot of B12. You gotta check your essential fatty acid levels.

02:26:35.000 There's a lot of stuff that looks real good on paper, but then you find out it's not bioavailable.

02:26:40.000 I tried to go vegan for a while, and I got fat.

02:26:43.000 Well, it's a lot of carbs.

02:26:44.000 Yeah, I didn't know what I was doing.

02:26:46.000 I wasn't doing it right, whatever.

02:26:47.000 I don't like soy.

02:26:51.000 Why don't you like tofu?

02:26:53.000 I don't like tofu.

02:26:54.000 Just something about it. 0.98

02:26:55.000 Did you fuck with any of that vegan chicken stuff or any of those weird ones that make them look like real food? 0.99

02:27:00.000 There's a name for that. 0.99

02:27:01.000 Oh, no, no, but that fake meat they have now is fantastic.

02:27:04.000 It's really bad for you, though.

02:27:05.000 Do you know that?

02:27:06.000 It actually causes liver problems in rats.

02:27:10.000 Yeah, pull up fake meat, liver problems, rats.

02:27:14.000 No!

02:27:14.000 Yeah, look, it's all oils.

02:27:16.000 So that stuff is all processed food oils.

02:27:19.000 It's processed vegetable oils.

02:27:21.000 And that's bad? 1.00

02:27:22.000 Yeah, just eat fucking vegetables, man. 1.00

02:27:24.000 If you want to be a vegetarian, eat vegetables. 1.00

02:27:27.000 Look, there's a lot of people that would say a regular burger is not good for you either. 0.98

02:27:31.000 But of course a regular burger is just meat with bread and all the bullshit. 0.99

02:27:35.000 The bread and all the bullshit is what's bad for you. 0.99

02:27:37.000 It's not the burger itself, as long as it's an actual meat burger. 0.99

02:27:40.000 Particularly if it's a grass-fed burger.

02:27:43.000 So what is he pulling up?

02:27:45.000 He's pulling up this study about one of them.

02:27:50.000 Impossible Burger, Beyond Meat, one of them.

02:27:51.000 But they were talking about how there's studies that are showing that this is not...

02:27:57.000 But again, they're not marketing it as a healthy alternative.

02:27:59.000 No.

02:28:00.000 They're marketing it as a meat-free burger.

02:28:02.000 And a burger is kind of like a fun food anyway.

02:28:04.000 Here it is.

02:28:05.000 Rat feeding study suggests the Impossible Burger may not be safe to eat. 0.98

02:28:09.000 L-O-fucking-L. Oh, wow! 0.93

02:28:14.000 But if you go to the ingredients, man, I've had scientists relay the ingredients to me. 0.98

02:28:19.000 I thought it was just coconut oil. 0.99

02:28:20.000 Oh, it's a bunch of fucked up stuff. 0.98

02:28:22.000 Because they've got to make it seem like it's a real burger. 0.99

02:28:25.000 Heem is that thing that makes it taste like it.

02:28:28.000 It's called heem.

02:28:28.000 Heem iron.

02:28:29.000 Something like that.

02:28:30.000 That's what gives it that flavor that people are looking for.

02:28:33.000 How are they getting that?

02:28:33.000 I don't know where they get that from.

02:28:35.000 Soylent green.

02:28:36.000 Not good?

02:28:36.000 It's a people, Joe?

02:28:37.000 It's a people.

02:28:38.000 It's people. 1.00

02:28:39.000 That sucks. 1.00

02:28:41.000 That sucks. 1.00

02:28:42.000 So you don't think you'll ever stop eating meat? 0.99

02:28:44.000 You think you'll always...

02:28:45.000 You're like, animals are here for us to eat, and that's that.

02:28:48.000 I don't think that.

02:28:49.000 I think we definitely evolved.

02:28:51.000 The human animal evolved from eating meat.

02:28:53.000 And that's not under debate.

02:28:56.000 I mean, we evolved from eating meat. 0.99

02:28:58.000 Weirdo vegans try to say crazy shit like, Oh, why don't we have canines? 0.99

02:29:02.000 How come we can't eat meat raw? 1.00

02:29:03.000 Well, because, asshole, we figured out fire a long fucking time ago, and our bodies adapted because of that. 0.99

02:29:09.000 Our teeth adapted because we figured out how to cut things with utensils, and we figured out how to cook things so they're more tender. 0.99

02:29:17.000 It's not as simple as, like, why do we have an appendix?

02:29:20.000 Why is that? 0.98

02:29:21.000 I'll tell you why, because we used to eat differently, and we still have a leftover organ, some weird fucking organ for breaking down bark and shit. 0.97

02:29:27.000 You know, we don't need that anymore. 0.97

02:29:29.000 We don't need bark anymore.

02:29:30.000 Is that what...

02:29:30.000 Yeah, it's like roots and stuff.

02:29:32.000 Oh, really?

02:29:33.000 Yeah, I think that's what the appendix is for.

02:29:35.000 I think it was initially for breaking down, like, very hard-to-digest fibrous things.

02:29:41.000 So I had my gallbladder out.

02:29:43.000 Whoa, what did you do with it?

02:29:45.000 You gonna put it back in?

02:29:46.000 Yeah, I'm thinking about it.

02:29:48.000 I have it in my glove box.

02:29:49.000 What happened?

02:29:50.000 No, I was having gallbladder attacks.

02:29:52.000 I thought it was a heart attack.

02:29:53.000 Whoa, where's a gallbladder?

02:29:55.000 I don't even know where that is.

02:29:56.000 It was like right here.

02:29:57.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:29:57.000 And I always heard like your heart attack feels like it's in the center.

02:30:00.000 But this was a little lower.

02:30:01.000 I'm like, this is a heart attack.

02:30:03.000 I'm dying.

02:30:04.000 This is no doubt I'm dying.

02:30:05.000 Oh, no.

02:30:06.000 I thought for sure I was dying.

02:30:07.000 So I'm on the couch, and I remember I'm just like, this is, my wife calls the fireman, and I'm just like, this is it.

02:30:12.000 This is how it's going to happen.

02:30:14.000 I was kind of okay with it, right?

02:30:16.000 Because I was in a lot of pain, I wanted it to end.

02:30:18.000 I was like, okay, if I die, I die.

02:30:20.000 But then they came and they shot me, and I was like, oh, I feel fantastic again.

02:30:24.000 So it wasn't, it was just my gallbladder.

02:30:26.000 They took it out.

02:30:28.000 What does it do?

02:30:29.000 The gallbladder secretes bile into your stomach to help digest things, right?

02:30:34.000 So gallbladder would be like, for bile, when your liver makes bile, it's like your reservoir.

02:30:40.000 Right.

02:30:40.000 So now I don't have a reservoir anymore.

02:30:42.000 So now it just is always kind of dripping. 0.99

02:30:45.000 Is it fucked with you anymore? 0.99

02:30:47.000 You know, it's fucked with me in lots of different ways. 1.00

02:30:49.000 Yeah, my appetite is... 0.98

02:30:53.000 Gets weird when you get nervous?

02:30:54.000 It doesn't come...

02:30:56.000 It doesn't come on slowly.

02:30:58.000 Bam! 0.98

02:30:59.000 So that's why you had to eat when you were on stage like that.

02:31:01.000 Oh, that makes sense.

02:31:03.000 Often, after I eat, I have to go to the bathroom right away.

02:31:07.000 Right away?

02:31:08.000 Yeah, I don't know.

02:31:09.000 Ever since I had my gallbladder.

02:31:10.000 I don't know if other people have that.

02:31:11.000 I haven't Googled it.

02:31:12.000 Now, was there any alternative to getting it removed?

02:31:15.000 Did they say, hey, maybe you could change your diet?

02:31:18.000 I was not given an alternative.

02:31:20.000 So you have, like, calcium deposits in your thing, and they block the duct.

02:31:26.000 And then that's what causes all the pain.

02:31:28.000 And so eventually it'll dislodge itself and the pain will go away, but it could kill you if it stays and doesn't go away.

02:31:36.000 And so they have to take it out.

02:31:38.000 Jesus Christ.

02:31:39.000 Yeah.

02:31:39.000 And guess, so here's a great story about our medical system, right?

02:31:42.000 So I have Blue Cross insurance.

02:31:43.000 I have the best that you could buy or what have you. 0.98

02:31:45.000 And so I had my second gallbladder attack, and I was like, I got to get this goddamn thing out because I can't have this happen again. 0.98

02:31:52.000 It hurts too much, right? 0.97

02:31:54.000 So I called the doctor, and they're like, I can't even get a consultation for three weeks in network.

02:32:02.000 Yeah.

02:32:03.000 So I have to get a consultation, then I have to wait another three or four weeks to get the operation.

02:32:08.000 So this could maybe be two months before I get the operation.

02:32:11.000 Of these attacks. 0.99

02:32:12.000 And I'm going to have another goddamn attack. 0.99

02:32:14.000 So I went out of network, and I got another doctor to come take care of me faster, so I didn't have to worry about this. 0.99

02:32:20.000 So you had to pay out of pocket.

02:32:20.000 So I had to pay out of pocket.

02:32:21.000 Okay. 0.97

02:32:22.000 Yes, so this whole thing you're gonna have to wait, you have to fucking wait right now! 0.97

02:32:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:32:27.000 It's ridiculous why you act like that. 0.98

02:32:29.000 No, it's true. 0.97

02:32:29.000 It is true. 0.97

02:32:30.000 It is true.

02:32:31.000 I have friends in Canada, it's way worse up there though.

02:32:33.000 About waiting? 0.99

02:32:34.000 Yeah, I had a friend, she needed a knee operation, they waited a fucking year. 1.00

02:32:38.000 So for a whole year she's walking around with a torn ACL and a fucked up knee. 0.99

02:32:42.000 Yeah, a whole year, a year, 12 months, 365 days. 0.96

02:32:46.000 Just hobbling around.

02:32:47.000 Do you know anybody in Canada that would trade their health care plan for a United States health care plan?

02:32:51.000 No, they don't want to pay for it.

02:32:52.000 Once you don't have to pay for it, you don't want to pay for it.

02:32:55.000 There's a great video where this guy interviews people in England and he asks them, how much do you think it costs to have a baby?

02:33:03.000 And they're like, $100?

02:33:05.000 Try 10 grand.

02:33:06.000 He's like, what?

02:33:07.000 Yeah, I saw that.

02:33:08.000 Yeah, everybody freaks out.

02:33:09.000 Everybody freaks out.

02:33:10.000 Yeah, well, once you're used to things being free, you don't want to pay for them.

02:33:13.000 Look, I think healthcare should be free.

02:33:15.000 I really do.

02:33:16.000 I think education should be free.

02:33:18.000 I think if we're going to spend money as a community, if we have a gigantic community of people, and that's what a country really is, right?

02:33:24.000 That's it.

02:33:24.000 It's a community.

02:33:25.000 What is the most important thing to take care of?

02:33:26.000 Well, we've got to take care of old people, sick people. 1.00

02:33:29.000 We've got to take care of poor people. 1.00

02:33:31.000 The idea that somehow or another... 0.99

02:33:34.000 That this is a foolish notion. 0.92

02:33:38.000 That you have to take care of people. 0.98

02:33:40.000 That education.

02:33:41.000 It wouldn't be better if more people are educated?

02:33:43.000 Yeah.

02:33:43.000 So why shouldn't that be free?

02:33:44.000 Well, we don't have the money.

02:33:45.000 But we have how much money?

02:33:47.000 How much?

02:33:47.000 131 extra billion they gave Trump.

02:33:49.000 That'd be a lot of education.

02:33:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:33:50.000 A lot of people learn shit that way. 1.00

02:33:52.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:33:52.000 That's double the money it would take to send everybody to college for free. 0.99

02:33:56.000 That's hilarious.

02:33:57.000 $65 billion a year to send everybody to college.

02:33:59.000 They just spent $131 billion to give to him.

02:34:02.000 That's double, right?

02:34:03.000 I'm not a math surgeon, but I'm pretty sure that's double.

02:34:05.000 Math surgeon.

02:34:06.000 I think if we figured out a way to, you know...

02:34:10.000 You know, Ari Schaeffer says the same stuff.

02:34:12.000 I was just on his show and he was saying, we've got to take care of homeless people.

02:34:15.000 I'm like, I thought you were a right winger.

02:34:17.000 Oh, he's not right-wing at all.

02:34:18.000 I guess not.

02:34:18.000 Oh, he's very left-wing.

02:34:19.000 Why'd you think everybody was right-wing? 1.00

02:34:21.000 Because we talk shit? 1.00

02:34:21.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:34:22.000 I just hear shit, you know, on social media or whatever. 1.00

02:34:24.000 Oh, those idiots. 1.00

02:34:26.000 They just think because I've talked to Alex Jones or because I've had, you know, right-wing people on that, you know... 1.00

02:34:31.000 Oh, you're platforming people, Joe?

02:34:33.000 Yeah.

02:34:33.000 I've been friends with Alex Jones since the 90s.

02:34:35.000 I've known that guy forever.

02:34:37.000 Joe, when I went in...

02:34:38.000 Did I ever tell you this story?

02:34:39.000 When you spin his face?

02:34:40.000 So when the iced tea accidentally, I got...

02:34:44.000 So, um...

02:34:46.000 So whatever.

02:34:46.000 First, I didn't think that would be that big of a deal.

02:34:48.000 Wow, that turned out to be a big deal, right?

02:34:50.000 Right.

02:34:50.000 So then whatever.

02:34:51.000 So then the next day I talked to some people from his show, and we were all friends, right?

02:34:55.000 But not him.

02:34:56.000 And so I went down like a couple months later to do Austin.

02:35:00.000 So I go to the steakhouse right there.

02:35:03.000 I forget the name.

02:35:05.000 It's the big place, right?

02:35:06.000 It's right across the street from the West End.

02:35:07.000 And so I'm there.

02:35:08.000 My brother came down for the weekend, my brother and his wife, and we're all sitting there.

02:35:12.000 We're eating.

02:35:12.000 And all of a sudden, my brother goes, Alex Jones just walked in.

02:35:15.000 He's sitting right behind you. 0.99

02:35:17.000 I go, get the fuck out of here. 0.99

02:35:18.000 He's going to come peep me up. 0.99

02:35:21.000 And he gets up to swing and he says, I'm friends with Joe Rogan!

02:35:25.000 But my brother's a big guy, right?

02:35:27.000 So all my brothers are bigger than me.

02:35:29.000 And tough, too, right?

02:35:30.000 And so I was like, all right, well, if you see him coming this way, you gotta...

02:35:34.000 Let me out.

02:35:35.000 So he's back, and he goes, he just sat down, he shook hands with this guy three times.

02:35:39.000 I go, oh, it sounds like they're up to something. 0.95

02:35:46.000 Luckily, we were finishing, and I was like, okay, I'm going to finish, and I'm going to walk the fuck out of here. 0.97

02:35:51.000 That's hilarious.

02:35:52.000 Just get out of here, slick. 0.90

02:35:54.000 He could crush me.

02:35:57.000 He wouldn't.

02:35:59.000 You would be able to talk to him.

02:36:01.000 He's a lot more reasonable than people think he is, especially now.

02:36:04.000 Now he's not drinking anymore.

02:36:06.000 Oh, really? 0.99

02:36:06.000 Yeah, he's been off booze for, shit, I want to say many, many months now. 0.99

02:36:12.000 Yeah, it's been quite a while. 0.99

02:36:14.000 He has no drinking. 1.00

02:36:16.000 He just realized he was losing his fucking mind. 1.00

02:36:19.000 He was getting deplatformed. 1.00

02:36:21.000 He was drinking like a bottle, bottle and a half of vodka every night.

02:36:25.000 Yeah, he was going hard.

02:36:26.000 Stressful times. 0.99

02:36:26.000 I can understand why people do shit like that. 0.99

02:36:29.000 And when you do drink that much, you do get psychotic. 0.96

02:36:33.000 Dude, I love drinking and I don't drink like I used to anymore.

02:36:37.000 Well, you get older too.

02:36:38.000 Your body can't process it right anymore.

02:36:40.000 I wake up the next day, I'm depressed.

02:36:42.000 Yeah.

02:36:43.000 Yep.

02:36:44.000 I love drinking martinis during a live show.

02:36:47.000 And the next day, you're like, oh.

02:36:48.000 The next day, I'm like, oh, everything's wrong.

02:36:50.000 Everything's bad.

02:36:51.000 But you know what a lot of that is?

02:36:53.000 A lot of it is not just the alcohol.

02:36:54.000 It's also the dehydration.

02:36:56.000 Oh, yeah?

02:36:56.000 Yeah.

02:36:57.000 If you just hydrate and take a lot of electrolytes.

02:37:00.000 You think?

02:37:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:37:01.000 You can mitigate a lot of that stuff.

02:37:03.000 Also, glutathione.

02:37:05.000 Glutathione can help your body process alcohol quicker.

02:37:07.000 Yeah.

02:37:08.000 Glutathione?

02:37:08.000 Glutathione, yeah, it's an antioxidant, super potent antioxidant.

02:37:12.000 Yeah, it actually, your body produces it and it aids in the process of processing alcohol.

02:37:18.000 I didn't know that.

02:37:19.000 Yeah, I can help you a little bit.

02:37:20.000 Give you a little boost.

02:37:21.000 I did drink in Hawaii.

02:37:22.000 They have Mai Tais.

02:37:23.000 I bet you did. 1.00

02:37:23.000 Those fucking Mai Tais, man. 1.00

02:37:25.000 I love them. 1.00

02:37:25.000 I couldn't stop drinking them. 1.00

02:37:27.000 They taste so good. 0.99

02:37:28.000 Yeah, that's a problem when things are delicious, but yet also get you fucked up. 0.99

02:37:32.000 Alcohol, yeah. 0.98

02:37:32.000 But I wasn't driving anywhere. 0.98

02:37:34.000 I didn't have to do anything, so it was all right.

02:37:35.000 There used to be a place in West Palm Beach, Improv, and downstairs they had one of those alcoholic Slurpee places.

02:37:45.000 Oh, no!

02:37:46.000 You know those things?

02:37:47.000 Yes! 0.99

02:37:47.000 And they taste fucking delicious. 0.99

02:37:48.000 And they had one of them called Call a Cab. 0.98

02:37:54.000 And you would drink it, and it was like, I drank one on stage once, and by the end of the show, I was like, thank God the show ended the way it did, because I forgot how to talk.

02:38:02.000 Really?

02:38:02.000 Oh my God, I was so sloshed.

02:38:04.000 By the time the show was over, I was, one glass.

02:38:07.000 I mean, one, like, it was like a Big Gulp-sized call a cab.

02:38:11.000 I don't know how many drinks were in this one.

02:38:12.000 How many shots were there, like seven shots or something? 0.99

02:38:13.000 Fuckload. 0.99

02:38:14.000 But it's like a giant mix, right? 0.99

02:38:16.000 Yeah.

02:38:16.000 So it's just like 7-Eleven Slurpees.

02:38:18.000 It all comes out.

02:38:19.000 Sugar, I got a lot of sugar in it.

02:38:20.000 Oh, all sugar.

02:38:20.000 But it tastes good.

02:38:22.000 It tastes good, and you get fucked up. 1.00

02:38:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:38:25.000 I've never been that fucked up on stage. 0.99

02:38:26.000 There was a time when I was going through a phase where I dropped my pants on stage. 0.99

02:38:30.000 Oh.

02:38:31.000 You stopped doing that?

02:38:32.000 I did.

02:38:33.000 People start to complain.

02:38:35.000 Why?

02:38:35.000 I don't know.

02:38:36.000 I'm like, this is the oldest comic gig in the fucking gig in the thing. 0.96

02:38:39.000 This is the gag. 0.99

02:38:40.000 You drop your pants.

02:38:41.000 I'm Jerry Lewis.

02:38:43.000 It's funny.

02:38:44.000 Did you have underwear on?

02:38:45.000 Yeah.

02:38:45.000 Oh, no.

02:38:46.000 Yeah, I had underwear on.

02:38:47.000 Ari pulls his hog out. 1.00

02:38:49.000 Not anymore.

02:38:50.000 Really?

02:38:50.000 I think he's scared now.

02:38:51.000 Can you do that?

02:38:52.000 Isn't that illegal?

02:38:53.000 Yeah, you can still pull your hog out. 0.96

02:38:54.000 He pulled his hog out at Skank Fest in New York.

02:38:57.000 They had a, you know, Skank Fest.

02:38:59.000 I'm, again, not familiar with this stuff.

02:39:01.000 You gotta get in the loop.

02:39:01.000 I know, I'm out of it.

02:39:02.000 He did it a few weeks ago.

02:39:03.000 Did he?

02:39:04.000 I killed Tony, yeah. 0.78

02:39:05.000 Pulled his hog out again?

02:39:06.000 Yeah, right before he was here, right before maybe Tony was here, one of the times.

02:39:08.000 Where was it?

02:39:09.000 Mainstage.

02:39:10.000 Oh, in the comic store?

02:39:11.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:39:12.000 Well, probably shouldn't say that.

02:39:13.000 That could probably be a problem.

02:39:15.000 Illegal.

02:39:15.000 Well, I used to do it, Joe.

02:39:17.000 It's a fake rubber dick. 0.99

02:39:18.000 Don't worry about it, folks. 0.99

02:39:19.000 I used to do it. 1.00

02:39:20.000 You used to pull your dick out? 1.00

02:39:21.000 Yeah, and then nobody noticed that I was embarrassing. 1.00

02:39:23.000 I get it.

02:39:24.000 I get it.

02:39:25.000 It's a joke.

02:39:26.000 Yeah, Joe.

02:39:27.000 Sometimes I do jokes, all right?

02:39:30.000 It's okay.

02:39:31.000 What am I here, my father?

02:39:32.000 No, it's okay.

02:39:33.000 It's all fine.

02:39:34.000 It's all fine. 1.00

02:39:35.000 Ari has always done ridiculous shit. 1.00

02:39:38.000 He used to go on stage with his balls out of his pants and how to dress it. 1.00

02:39:41.000 Come on! 0.98

02:39:41.000 So he'd go on stage and do his act. 0.98

02:39:43.000 Come on! 0.61

02:39:43.000 And what he would do is he would just unzip his pants, pull his sack out, and then just have only his sack hanging out while he was on stage. 0.61

02:39:50.000 Who did it at the store where there was someone on stage?

02:39:53.000 Joey.

02:39:53.000 There was Joey behind the person.

02:39:55.000 There was a woman on stage. 1.00

02:39:55.000 She was terrible. 1.00

02:39:57.000 Like one of the worst comics that's ever done comedy. 0.57

02:39:59.000 And... 0.91

02:40:00.000 This one night she was killing. 1.00

02:40:02.000 I mean fucking killing. 1.00

02:40:03.000 And this is why. 0.99

02:40:04.000 When she would hit a punchline, Joey was hiding behind the stage and he was naked.

02:40:07.000 And he'd go, ah!

02:40:09.000 And then he would close the curtains. 0.99

02:40:10.000 And so she would get this giant fucking laugh. 1.00

02:40:13.000 And she was like, wow! 0.99

02:40:15.000 And you can see her kind of feeling her oats. 1.00

02:40:18.000 And then she's like, and then I told him, fuck you! 1.00

02:40:21.000 And I'm like, ah! 1.00

02:40:22.000 No!

02:40:24.000 Yes! 1.00

02:40:25.000 Balls ass naked. 1.00

02:40:26.000 That seems like you could be in jail. 1.00

02:40:28.000 That seems criminal. 1.00

02:40:30.000 With Joey's balls look like grapefruit in an old lady's pantyhose. 1.00

02:40:33.000 And he's got a giant dick. 1.00

02:40:35.000 So Joey would, you know, he's got this huge belly. 1.00

02:40:39.000 So he opens up the curtains.

02:40:41.000 His pants are down by his ankles. 1.00

02:40:43.000 His balls and his dick are hanging out. 1.00

02:40:45.000 He's got this huge belly. 1.00

02:40:47.000 Yeah.

02:40:47.000 She never did comedy again.

02:40:49.000 Really?

02:40:50.000 No.

02:40:51.000 I'm making that up.

02:40:51.000 Oh, okay.

02:40:52.000 She should've.

02:40:52.000 There he is.

02:40:53.000 That's in Austin, actually.

02:40:55.000 That was where we were at the hotel, hanging out in the...

02:40:58.000 There's Ari in the background. 0.85

02:40:59.000 Yeah.

02:41:00.000 Hanging out at the jacuzzi, getting ready for the show.

02:41:03.000 Wow.

02:41:04.000 Yeah.

02:41:04.000 Back in the day.

02:41:05.000 I mean, like, comedies, it's already dangerous enough.

02:41:09.000 I don't need to add nudity.

02:41:11.000 Well, you get in trouble now for things like that. 1.00

02:41:14.000 People can get really angry at you for showing your dick. 0.99

02:41:18.000 It's not like the olden days. 0.99

02:41:21.000 It was a subtle gag.

02:41:23.000 It's a goof.

02:41:25.000 Nobody cared. 1.00

02:41:26.000 It's got its cock out. 1.00

02:41:28.000 Joey used to do it all the time. 1.00

02:41:30.000 Yeah.

02:41:31.000 I don't...

02:41:32.000 There was...

02:41:33.000 I remember when I was a kid, I had older sisters, and there was a flasher in our neighborhood.

02:41:37.000 Oh.

02:41:38.000 And they would go, I'm like, oh, the guy flat.

02:41:39.000 I'm like, I don't understand this whole thing.

02:41:41.000 I don't understand why he's doing that.

02:41:43.000 I don't understand why it freaks you out so much.

02:41:44.000 It's like, I don't...

02:41:45.000 The whole thing, but now I understand why it freaks them out.

02:41:48.000 I get the freaking out.

02:41:49.000 I still don't get why they do it, but I think it has something to do with someone traumatizing you when you're young.

02:41:54.000 Yeah.

02:41:55.000 It's got to be humiliation, something you're addicted to, that kind of...

02:41:58.000 There's lots of people like that. 1.00

02:41:59.000 Yeah, well, how about guys who are addicted to, they hire women to gag them and shit on them and kick them in the balls and sometimes like really powerful men. 1.00

02:42:08.000 And hurt them. 1.00

02:42:09.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.97

02:42:09.000 Like hurt them. 0.97

02:42:10.000 Stomp their nuts. 1.00

02:42:11.000 Like stomp on their nuts with a stiletto and then it starts bleeding. 0.99

02:42:14.000 How is that fun? 0.91

02:42:16.000 How is that, what is that?

02:42:18.000 I don't know.

02:42:19.000 That is such a- Broken people. 1.00

02:42:21.000 That is broke.

02:42:21.000 So down a rabbit hole of humility.

02:42:25.000 I mean, I was hit a lot.

02:42:27.000 I went to Catholic. 1.00

02:42:28.000 I got all the guilt and hitting and somehow I managed to avoid that kind of shit. 1.00

02:42:33.000 I think that is- Not that I don't have weird shit, but- That's some mommy shit and the whole pantyhose and beating you and kicking you in the balls. 1.00

02:42:41.000 It's like, There's obviously a spectrum of pathologies that people can develop in their life. 1.00

02:42:47.000 And there's probably a lot of mental illness involved in there and violence and abuse.

02:42:51.000 But apparently there's a woman that I talked to who's a dominatrix. 1.00

02:42:55.000 And she was telling me and Jim Norton.

02:42:57.000 Yeah, I know Jim.

02:42:58.000 He loves dominatrix. 0.98

02:43:00.000 And she was saying most of her clients are like these wealthy CEOs, and they run these companies, and they're the fucking man, and when they walk in, oh, Mr. Wilson's here. 0.98

02:43:09.000 Hello, Mr. Wilson, can I get you a cup of coffee? 1.00

02:43:11.000 And everyone's kissing their ass, and they want someone to shit on them, like literally shit on them. 1.00

02:43:14.000 They want someone to tie them up, and she would say that those are the guys. 1.00

02:43:19.000 Why is that, though?

02:43:20.000 I guess it's just...

02:43:21.000 So every powerful guy wants to feel a release of their power?

02:43:25.000 No.

02:43:25.000 Well, that's why when the...

02:43:27.000 John Wayne wanted to be shit on? 0.99

02:43:29.000 I don't get it. 1.00

02:43:29.000 Maybe. 1.00

02:43:30.000 The Steele dossier, right? 0.97

02:43:31.000 When they were talking about Trump getting peed on and all that stuff, or peeing on them. 0.87

02:43:34.000 That's why it made sense. 0.98

02:43:35.000 It's like, well, of course.

02:43:37.000 Of course.

02:43:38.000 Not that it's real.

02:43:39.000 Not that it made sense that it's real.

02:43:40.000 But that would be a story that you would kind of expect from a super powerful guy who had a weird kink. 0.75

02:43:46.000 Super powerful guys with weird kinks, they usually want to get pegged, right? 1.00

02:43:50.000 They want to get pissed on.

02:43:52.000 Pegged? 0.90

02:43:54.000 Pegged is the best.

02:43:56.000 That's one of the best things.

02:43:58.000 Because you can say pegged on national TV right now.

02:44:00.000 Yes!

02:44:01.000 You can still say it.

02:44:02.000 They're pegged.

02:44:02.000 No one can stop you.

02:44:04.000 Right?

02:44:04.000 Pegged is not like...

02:44:05.000 It's not in the dictionary, I don't think.

02:44:07.000 Right. 0.99

02:44:07.000 If you say buttfucked with a dildo, people go, Hey! 0.99

02:44:10.000 But you shouldn't even say that because it's too wordy. 0.99

02:44:13.000 Economy of words.

02:44:14.000 Pegged fits better.

02:44:15.000 And it's got a P and a G. Pegged.

02:44:19.000 How do you just not start laughing when she starts pegging you?

02:44:22.000 I don't know.

02:44:23.000 How do you just not start laughing?

02:44:24.000 You might be really into it.

02:44:25.000 You gotta be.

02:44:26.000 Oh yes, I'm a bad boy!

02:44:29.000 I don't get it.

02:44:31.000 What do the women get out of it? 1.00

02:44:33.000 They get to dominate you and fucking humiliate you. 1.00

02:44:36.000 Yeah, I knew a guy and this girl said that she would fuck him if he let her peg him. 1.00

02:44:42.000 And he wouldn't do it. 1.00

02:44:43.000 Oh, really? 0.83

02:44:44.000 And we were calling him gay. 0.93

02:44:44.000 She wanted to do it. 0.93

02:44:45.000 Yeah.

02:44:46.000 Well, she said... 1.00

02:44:46.000 She goes, I'll let you fuck you. 1.00

02:44:48.000 She goes, I'll let you fuck me, but I want to fuck you in the ass with a dildo. 1.00

02:44:50.000 How pretty was she? 1.00

02:44:51.000 She's pretty hot. 1.00

02:44:52.000 And all my friends called him gay. 0.93

02:44:55.000 Well... 1.00

02:44:55.000 Bro, you're gay. 1.00

02:44:56.000 You should have just fucked her and let her take you in the ass. 1.00

02:44:58.000 You won't let someone fuck you in the ass. 1.00

02:44:59.000 You're gay. 1.00

02:45:00.000 And my friend, it was funny. 1.00

02:45:02.000 He was like, it's not even a real dick, bro. 0.98

02:45:04.000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 0.99

02:45:07.000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

02:45:12.000 There's no win there for this guy.

02:45:13.000 Yeah, you're like, look, she's hot, man. 1.00

02:45:15.000 She probably doesn't want to fuck you, but she's willing to do it if you're willing to do something for her. 1.00

02:45:20.000 She probably always wanted to peg a guy. 1.00

02:45:22.000 You got to make some sacrifices.

02:45:24.000 Yes!

02:45:24.000 It's like your joke about the female version of who wants to give you a job in Hollywood movie.

02:45:32.000 Oh, Harvina Weinstein?

02:45:33.000 Yeah.

02:45:33.000 It sounds like that.

02:45:34.000 If Harvina Weinstein came to my son with a solid contract, I'd be like, dude, you're going to be Batman.

02:45:40.000 Exactly.

02:45:42.000 That's true.

02:45:42.000 We were talking about that last night with R. Kelly.

02:45:44.000 The R. Kelly story is horrific, right? 0.99

02:45:46.000 He's having sex with 15, 16-year-old girls. 0.91

02:45:49.000 But imagine if J-Lo had a bunch of 15 and 16-year-old boys locked up in a house somewhere in Miami. 1.00

02:45:54.000 She's making them all eat her ass and videotaping them. 1.00

02:45:57.000 We would be laughing. 1.00

02:45:58.000 We'd be, it's so funny.

02:46:00.000 It's so different.

02:46:01.000 It is a different thing.

02:46:02.000 Men and women are different.

02:46:03.000 They're a different thing. 1.00

02:46:04.000 And this idea that we're not different is so stupid. 0.99

02:46:07.000 We're not math. 1.00

02:46:08.000 Right.

02:46:09.000 We're very different.

02:46:10.000 Right.

02:46:10.000 Yeah, but we're in denial of that because we work in these environments where men and women are side by side, 40 hours a week, and everybody's under a human resources fucking tight grip of behavior, and so everybody has to act weird, and then men don't want their women mad at them,

02:46:26.000 so they have to pretend that, yeah, these guys are assholes. 1.00

02:46:28.000 These guys are total pig. 1.00

02:46:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:46:30.000 As a male feminist, I find that atrocious. 0.98

02:46:32.000 You know who's not a male feminist? 1.00

02:46:34.000 You know who you never find that's a male feminist? 1.00

02:46:37.000 Gay guys. 1.00

02:46:38.000 Because they're not trying to fuck you. 1.00

02:46:40.000 Okay? 1.00

02:46:40.000 So they don't have to play some stupid game. 1.00

02:46:42.000 They care about women more than they care about anything. 1.00

02:46:44.000 And women's equality is the most important thing. 1.00

02:46:45.000 No, they're trying to suck dick and butt fuck dudes. 1.00

02:46:48.000 They're having a good time. 1.00

02:46:50.000 That's what they do.

02:46:52.000 They're having a fun time with other gay guys.

02:46:54.000 They don't want you to be victimized, but they're not going to go out of their way as a male ally. 1.00

02:47:00.000 That's all guys trying to fuck you. 1.00

02:47:03.000 100%. 1.00

02:47:03.000 It is 100% sneaky guys who can't figure out any other way to fuck. 1.00

02:47:09.000 That they pretend to be female allies or feminists? 1.00

02:47:12.000 Yeah, male feminists. 1.00

02:47:13.000 You can just be a nice person who's got good values and ethics and you want equality for all.

02:47:20.000 But the idea that you're a male feminist, you come out, I'm a male feminist. 1.00

02:47:23.000 Just saying those words out of your fucking mouth. 1.00

02:47:26.000 You're a sneaky fuck. 1.00

02:47:28.000 I know what you're doing. 1.00

02:47:29.000 You're sneaky. 1.00

02:47:30.000 You're a gender traitor. 1.00

02:47:32.000 So you're telling me... 0.97

02:47:37.000 That guys who say, I always thought feminism was just about treating women equally. 0.99

02:47:42.000 That's because you're talking to too many liberals.

02:47:45.000 What is it about?

02:47:46.000 Well, it is about treating people equally if you feel that it's about treating people equally.

02:47:53.000 But when you hear a man say that he's a male feminist, you're going so out on a limb.

02:48:00.000 You're not just saying, I'm all about treating people equally.

02:48:04.000 You're labeling yourself.

02:48:05.000 And you're labeling yourself in this sort of submissive...

02:48:10.000 Sort of, you're giving in to this cultural wave.

02:48:14.000 So let me just, can you, what is the definition of feminism? 1.00

02:48:17.000 Is that okay if I can ask? 0.99

02:48:18.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.99

02:48:18.000 Right? 0.99

02:48:19.000 I mean, he's gonna look it up, right?

02:48:20.000 I can ask Suri.

02:48:21.000 I bet you she knows.

02:48:22.000 Yeah, ask Suri.

02:48:23.000 Okay, ready?

02:48:23.000 We gotta end this soon, though.

02:48:24.000 I know.

02:48:25.000 Hey, Suri, what's the definition of feminism? 1.00

02:48:29.000 Advocacy of women's rights on the basis of equality of the sexes.

02:48:32.000 Boy, that's an open-ended statement right there.

02:48:35.000 Equality of the sexes how? 0.98

02:48:36.000 Weightlifting?

02:48:38.000 Making babies?

02:48:39.000 There's no equality. 0.97

02:48:40.000 The advocacy of women's rights based on the equality of sexes.

02:48:43.000 That is, of the sexes. 0.96

02:48:45.000 Well, I think you're equal, but you can be equal, but different.

02:48:47.000 Well, we're not math, right?

02:48:49.000 Right.

02:48:49.000 We certainly should have equal rights.

02:48:51.000 We certainly should have just equal, the way people treat each other.

02:48:59.000 Just...

02:49:00.000 Equal morals and ethics.

02:49:02.000 Another definition of feminine? 1.00

02:49:03.000 The theory of political, economic, social equality of the sexes.

02:49:06.000 Organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests. 0.99

02:49:09.000 I mean, that sounds like shit that you would agree with, Joe. 0.98

02:49:11.000 Well, organized activity on behind... 0.99

02:49:14.000 This is going to take too long.

02:49:16.000 Okay.

02:49:17.000 Unfortunately, because it's 3 o'clock.

02:49:18.000 Okay.

02:49:18.000 But yeah, I agree with most of those things.

02:49:20.000 What I don't agree with is someone labeling themselves that way that's a man. 0.95

02:49:24.000 Because everyone that I've ever met is a little weasel. 0.77

02:49:28.000 I always say, show me a male feminist that can pick up heavy things and run fast. 1.00

02:49:32.000 They don't exist.

02:49:34.000 They don't exist.

02:49:35.000 You would think George Clooney calls himself a feminist?

02:49:37.000 Does he?

02:49:37.000 I don't know.

02:49:38.000 Does he have to?

02:49:38.000 Probably has to.

02:49:39.000 You think he gets pegged?

02:49:41.000 Yes.

02:49:42.000 But I think it's Brad Pitt.

02:49:44.000 I like how you look, Jesus Christ, like, yeah, I'm going in.

02:49:49.000 Jimmy, I love you.

02:49:50.000 We ought to do this more often.

02:49:51.000 Yes, I would love to.

02:49:52.000 Can we do this more often?

02:49:53.000 It's always great to talk with you.

02:49:54.000 It's always great to talk to you, too. 0.99

02:49:55.000 Tell everybody how to get to your show, all your social media shit, everything. 0.98

02:49:59.000 JimmyDoreComedy.com. 0.97

02:50:00.000 We're on tour.

02:50:00.000 We're going to be in Tempe, Miami, all over the place.

02:50:03.000 Go to JimmyDoreComedy.com and you'll see everything.

02:50:06.000 Always appreciate it, brother.

02:50:07.000 Thank you so much.

02:50:07.000 Thank you.

02:50:08.000 Bye, you fucks. 1.00

The Joe Rogan Experience - January 16, 2020

Joe Rogan Experience #1412 - Jimmy Dore

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript