The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1413 - Bill Maher

00:00:05.000 Hello, Bill.

00:00:06.000 Great to be here in the man cave.

00:00:09.000 This is the professional extension of the man cave.

00:00:12.000 This part is where real work gets done.

00:00:15.000 This is the only part in the building.

00:00:17.000 It's worth it just to see it.

00:00:19.000 No, really.

00:00:19.000 I did not expect this.

00:00:23.000 But, you know, as I was just telling you off the air, I invited myself on this show.

00:00:29.000 Yes.

00:00:30.000 What you requested?

00:00:31.000 I did.

00:00:32.000 I would have invited you.

00:00:33.000 I said, we're coming back on the air, real time's coming back in a few days, and we always do something to promote it.

00:00:39.000 I said, let's do that show.

00:00:42.000 I like that show.

00:00:43.000 Why can't I do the shows I listen to?

00:00:46.000 Wow.

00:00:48.000 Got that in Mexico.

00:00:51.000 It looks like it should be a ring for a roadie.

00:00:57.000 For a roadie.

00:00:59.000 What season are you guys coming into? 1.00

00:01:01.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:01:03.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:01:04.000 Seasons, it's hard to...

00:01:06.000 I could just go by years.

00:01:07.000 We started on HBO in 2003, but then we used to do...

00:01:11.000 For the first few years, they had us do two seasons.

00:01:13.000 It took them a while to get the idea that this is not like The Sopranos or any other show.

00:01:22.000 This kind of show is a habit show.

00:01:24.000 It has to be on most of the year.

00:01:26.000 We used to do a season from February to, like, May, and then we'd be off for four months and come back for a few months in the fall.

00:01:35.000 That's not the way you can do it when you're following events, a live show.

00:01:39.000 So finally, somewhere in there, they just, okay, so then it was one long season as opposed to two, so I guess they counted the early years as two.

00:01:47.000 We've been on HBO since 2003, but of course, you were on the old show, Politically Incorrect.

00:01:54.000 Somebody sent me a clip of that.

00:01:56.000 Wow.

00:01:56.000 I couldn't even bear to watch it just from the way we looked.

00:02:00.000 It was too sad.

00:02:01.000 Time is cruel.

00:02:04.000 Actually, we look better now just because we look douchier.

00:02:08.000 Younger, of course.

00:02:09.000 I mean, that's the trade-off in life is that you're douchier when you're younger, but you do look more pristine, shall we say.

00:02:17.000 You're less beaten down by time.

00:02:18.000 Yeah, but that started in 1993. So I've already passed my...

00:02:23.000 We did a 25th anniversary show about a year and a half ago.

00:02:28.000 Yeah, in the fall of 18 it aired.

00:02:32.000 I couldn't believe that.

00:02:34.000 Do you know they're trying to bring back Politically Incorrect?

00:02:36.000 Who is they? 1.00

00:02:38.000 Whoever the fuck they are, they came to me. 0.99

00:02:42.000 That's so funny, because I suggested that a while ago, not with me hosting it, of course, but with somebody else hosting it. 1.00

00:02:50.000 I'll have to ask my manager about that.

00:02:53.000 I guess we sold it.

00:02:55.000 I think that's true.

00:02:56.000 When we moved to ABC, it must be ABC. When we moved to ABC, I think we probably sold them the rights to the show, which was probably stupid, but at the time it made sense. 0.94

00:03:08.000 Well, good luck with it.

00:03:09.000 I'm not doing it.

00:03:10.000 It was one of those questions.

00:03:12.000 My manager calls me up and says, you're not going to want to do this, but I'm obligated to tell you.

00:03:17.000 Why wouldn't you want to do it?

00:03:18.000 It just doesn't seem like something I'd want to do.

00:03:20.000 Now I'm insulted.

00:03:21.000 No.

00:03:21.000 I'm just kidding.

00:03:22.000 I would never want to take over your show after you did it, and then you got it stripped away for saying something.

00:03:27.000 The whole thing was, like, once someone does a show, leave it alone, you know?

00:03:33.000 Right.

00:03:34.000 Leave a tender moment alone.

00:03:35.000 Yeah.

00:03:35.000 Like, if you left and they started doing real time with Adam Carolla.

00:03:39.000 Right.

00:03:40.000 You know?

00:03:40.000 Which is exactly what they will be doing.

00:03:43.000 It's just, come up with a new fucking show, you know? 0.99

00:03:46.000 Right. 0.99

00:03:48.000 Do you feel constrained by the time, by the hour format?

00:03:53.000 Sometimes.

00:03:53.000 I was on with Howard Stern recently, and I was saying that to him, and I feel the same sometimes when I watch or listen to you.

00:04:02.000 It's funny.

00:04:02.000 I don't get America.

00:04:04.000 People's attention span is either seven seconds or three hours.

00:04:08.000 Yeah.

00:04:10.000 There's no in-between?

00:04:12.000 Well, there's a lot of us.

00:04:14.000 That's what it is.

00:04:15.000 A lot of people.

00:04:16.000 Yeah, they're playing to the people with the shortest attention span.

00:04:19.000 They say, this is all they have.

00:04:20.000 This is all that's there.

00:04:21.000 That's not true.

00:04:22.000 But it takes a big risk to play to the three hours.

00:04:25.000 I mean, there are virtues and vices to both of them.

00:04:29.000 I mean, I do like...

00:04:36.000 I think?

00:04:49.000 They are going to watch me to catch them up.

00:04:54.000 And it's my job to obviously entertain them, but also to point out what's important.

00:05:01.000 What happened this week that you should know about?

00:05:03.000 Somewhere in that live hour, whether it's in the monologue or in New Rules or the editorial I do at the end or in the panel, somewhere I want to cover everything I think you should know.

00:05:15.000 It doesn't necessarily mean it's the things that the newspaper does.

00:05:18.000 Or other outlets thought was important.

00:05:22.000 What I think is really important, that's what I'm going to cover.

00:05:26.000 So there is something to be said for condensing.

00:05:29.000 There's also a lot to be said for letting it breathe.

00:05:32.000 You know, I mean, letting it breathe, I do miss that sometimes.

00:05:36.000 I wish I could.

00:05:37.000 And very often we're in the middle of a discussion and I have to move on.

00:05:41.000 I feel like with the way things are going now with streaming, like I know HBO has their new streaming service.

00:05:47.000 Maybe they could just give you an option to let some of those conversations lengthen out.

00:05:54.000 It just seems like some of them you're just getting started and you have to cut them off.

00:05:57.000 You're right.

00:05:58.000 And again, sometimes people just want the headlines.

00:06:02.000 Very often I'm reading something.

00:06:04.000 And it's too long.

00:06:06.000 I just think, you should have given me...

00:06:08.000 The New York Times starts every article...

00:06:11.000 Just tell me what happened.

00:06:14.000 Don't give me the background on a rocky road in Afghanistan, as Fran Lebowitz once said.

00:06:20.000 Just get to the part I care about.

00:06:25.000 Movies are too long.

00:06:26.000 Lots of stuff is too long.

00:06:28.000 People need editors.

00:06:30.000 But these kind of conversations lend themselves more than most art forms to just letting it happen.

00:06:37.000 And yeah, it's more natural.

00:06:39.000 I mean, I like the fact that unlike my early days when you'd sweat backstage and you'd hear the Tonight Show band playing, it's like...

00:06:48.000 You know, Johnny's going to ask you this, and then you're going to say that, and you're going to do this, and don't fucking veer from this.

00:06:52.000 You'll get in trouble, and this is good. 0.95

00:06:55.000 I didn't prepare anything.

00:06:56.000 Yeah.

00:06:56.000 You know, obviously you didn't prepare anything.

00:06:59.000 No, I'm kidding.

00:07:00.000 I did.

00:07:02.000 Really, you have no list of questions?

00:07:03.000 No, no.

00:07:04.000 I know you.

00:07:05.000 I like you.

00:07:06.000 I'm sure I'm not going to run out of things to ask you or talk to you about.

00:07:10.000 But that's a talent in itself, that you could do that off the top of your head.

00:07:13.000 I think you think it's not that much of a talent, but trust me, a lot of people could not do that.

00:07:18.000 I don't know if I would trust myself if you said, you have two hours with this guy? 0.98

00:07:23.000 It would be in the back of my mind like, shit, what if an hour and ten minutes in, I'm like, fuck, I can't think of one more thing. 1.00

00:07:32.000 I can't imagine if you and I were at dinner together for two hours, we would run out of shit to talk about. 1.00

00:07:37.000 That's probably true. 0.99

00:07:38.000 So that's this.

00:07:38.000 Okay.

00:07:39.000 It's the same shit. 1.00

00:07:40.000 Welcome to my show! 1.00

00:07:58.000 It's a novelization of my early life.

00:08:01.000 Very accurate, though.

00:08:02.000 You could feel like you lived the life, and the names were hilarious of the characters you chose.

00:08:09.000 No, I worked probably harder on that than almost anything I've ever done.

00:08:13.000 Really?

00:08:14.000 Yeah.

00:08:14.000 I would never write another novel.

00:08:17.000 Well, just to make every sentence, every paragraph...

00:08:22.000 Funny or telling.

00:08:24.000 No extra words.

00:08:26.000 To me, that's the kind of...

00:08:27.000 What year did you write that?

00:08:29.000 It's funny.

00:08:30.000 I started it in the early 80s when I was still almost living it.

00:08:35.000 And I would get busy and put it aside and I'd look at it for years.

00:08:39.000 And then I did a...

00:08:43.000 This is my old life.

00:08:44.000 In 1985, in December, I went down to...

00:08:52.000 I think we all remember it.

00:08:59.000 No, we don't.

00:09:00.000 Linda Hamilton was the star.

00:09:02.000 I think I do remember it.

00:09:04.000 I hope you don't.

00:09:05.000 I remember Linda Hamilton in a movie with you.

00:09:09.000 Now I'm picturing it.

00:09:11.000 It was a TV movie and we stayed at the Club Med.

00:09:19.000 I was in, you know, it was kind of a low budget thing as far as the people in the cast and crew went because we stayed at the Club Med, which was not, Club Med is not a luxury hotel.

00:09:33.000 You know what club meds are.

00:09:34.000 You give up your money, you pay everything in beads, but you don't really need money.

00:09:41.000 You're going to enjoy the outside.

00:09:43.000 That's why you're in Mexico.

00:09:45.000 So the room is monastic, right?

00:09:47.000 There's no TV, because you're out all day. 1.00

00:09:51.000 You're just going to be in the waves and then you're going to fuck and go to sleep and whatever. 0.98

00:09:57.000 So I had a lot of free time because I wasn't in the shot every day, but I was in Mexico. 0.99

00:10:02.000 Eventually I got fucking cabin fever down there. 0.94

00:10:05.000 You know, I couldn't wait to get home. 0.97

00:10:07.000 But I was there a long time and had nothing to do, and I wrote a lot of the novel there.

00:10:12.000 I put it away again and then I was in a real career slump in the early 90s.

00:10:18.000 I had finished with acting mostly.

00:10:21.000 I didn't want to do that anymore.

00:10:22.000 I'd done a few sitcoms and I didn't want to be the office creep forever.

00:10:27.000 So I was just like, nowhere.

00:10:29.000 And that's when I finished it.

00:10:33.000 And also, that's like the year I did cocaine.

00:10:36.000 Which I probably would not have finished it without that.

00:10:39.000 It was only one year?

00:10:40.000 It was one year.

00:10:41.000 I was never meant to do cocaine.

00:10:43.000 When everyone was doing it, I never wanted it.

00:10:45.000 You know me, I'm a pothead like you.

00:10:47.000 It's not my drug.

00:10:49.000 But, you know, if you really insist...

00:10:53.000 You can get into any drug.

00:10:55.000 And I just happened to be at this point in my life where I was vulnerable.

00:11:00.000 I had nothing to do all day.

00:11:02.000 I wasn't working.

00:11:05.000 And it helps you write.

00:11:07.000 It's a productivity drug.

00:11:08.000 It's a productivity drug.

00:11:09.000 It was never a drug that I liked because I wasn't social on it. 0.72

00:11:14.000 But I used to like to have sex on it.

00:11:18.000 Really? 0.99

00:11:18.000 Most men did not. 0.99

00:11:19.000 I loved that.

00:11:21.000 And write.

00:11:22.000 But I didn't want to talk.

00:11:24.000 Some people are like, you know, that guy.

00:11:26.000 I was never that guy who did coke and talk a blue streak.

00:11:29.000 No.

00:11:30.000 But it helped me, you know, concentrate and organize and that kind of stuff.

00:11:36.000 And, you know, and then I was probably smoking pot too.

00:11:39.000 I was smoking cigarettes.

00:11:40.000 It was not a healthy year.

00:11:41.000 That was not a healthy year.

00:11:43.000 I remember, you know, because cocaine, which is kids, that is the worst drug.

00:11:50.000 It really is.

00:11:51.000 Because you get a little honeymoon period.

00:11:53.000 And then that quickly goes away, and then you're chasing that high.

00:11:57.000 And, you know, it's not healthy.

00:11:59.000 And then, you know, you're trying to, at the end of the night, take the edge off.

00:12:04.000 You know, you're into that, put the edge, I gotta put the edge back on.

00:12:08.000 I took it off too much by drinking Jack Daniels. 0.99

00:12:11.000 Ah, damn, now I gotta take it off again. 0.99

00:12:14.000 I put it on too much. 0.99

00:12:16.000 That was...

00:12:17.000 I never touched it.

00:12:17.000 I got lucky.

00:12:18.000 You're very smart.

00:12:20.000 I would have probably really enjoyed it.

00:12:22.000 I think I would have really enjoyed it.

00:12:24.000 Yeah.

00:12:24.000 That's probably why I didn't...

00:12:25.000 Again, at the beginning.

00:12:27.000 Yeah.

00:12:28.000 It's very much like a relationship, cocaine.

00:12:30.000 Good at the beginning, you know.

00:12:32.000 I think...

00:12:33.000 Trails off.

00:12:35.000 I always say...

00:12:36.000 And because of resentment towards the end.

00:12:37.000 There is a time when relationships are good.

00:12:39.000 Spoiler alert, it's the beginning.

00:12:41.000 Yeah.

00:12:42.000 For a lot of them, for sure.

00:12:43.000 Now, when you put that book out, is it still in publication?

00:12:49.000 Another great question.

00:12:51.000 I'm finding so much about my own life here.

00:12:53.000 I didn't know politically incorrect was being redone.

00:12:57.000 Comics from my era, like guys who grew up and got a hold of that book when we were just starting out.

00:13:02.000 It was huge.

00:13:03.000 A lot of guys passed it around.

00:13:05.000 A lot of guys talked about it.

00:13:06.000 Hey, you got to get this book.

00:13:06.000 Yeah.

00:13:07.000 No, I mean, and I tried to make it into a movie.

00:13:10.000 There was many scripts written.

00:13:14.000 I mean, it's my own fault for not pushing that through, I guess.

00:13:17.000 But I thought, At the time, it really would have made a good movie, but it's probably too late now.

00:13:27.000 Well, you definitely have to change the names now.

00:13:30.000 I did in the script.

00:13:34.000 It's very hard to depict stand-up comedy in a movie.

00:13:38.000 In fact, one of the original impetus to write the book was that no one was doing that well.

00:13:43.000 I remember that movie came out with Tom Hanks.

00:13:45.000 Remember that?

00:13:46.000 Punchline.

00:13:46.000 Punchline, okay.

00:13:47.000 And Tom Hanks was good.

00:13:48.000 I mean, Tom Hanks could have been a stand-up comic.

00:13:50.000 He did it as good as you can.

00:13:52.000 Passable.

00:13:53.000 Passable.

00:13:53.000 But they just never capture the whole essence of it.

00:13:57.000 And also, when you're trying to have someone...

00:14:00.000 I see this on...

00:14:02.000 Maisel? 0.97

00:14:03.000 No, I haven't seen that yet.

00:14:05.000 Some show...

00:14:06.000 Oh, the one...

00:14:06.000 I think it's Jim Carrey's show on Showtime about...

00:14:11.000 Oh, I'm dying up here?

00:14:12.000 Thank you, yes.

00:14:13.000 And I like the show, but whenever you're showing a stand-up comic and it's acting, you're acting as a stand-up and then the audience has to laugh.

00:14:25.000 There's something about it that isn't...

00:14:27.000 You can tell it's not real.

00:14:29.000 It's like a boxing scene in a movie.

00:14:31.000 Same thing.

00:14:31.000 A little bit.

00:14:32.000 Yeah.

00:14:33.000 Yes.

00:14:33.000 Rocky.

00:14:34.000 Right.

00:14:34.000 Yeah.

00:14:34.000 But that's sometimes purposely over the top.

00:14:37.000 This just comes off as fake because one thing we love about comedy is that laughter is involuntary.

00:14:45.000 It's in...

00:14:46.000 You can't...

00:14:47.000 As any giant comedy star knows, you can walk out at a comedy club and you'll get the biggest ovation in the world.

00:14:53.000 Two minutes later, you can be dying because it's involuntary.

00:14:58.000 Yes, they're thrilled to see you, but then if you don't say something funny, they're not going to laugh.

00:15:02.000 It's also...

00:15:05.000 A very uniquely live thing.

00:15:09.000 It's like you have to be...

00:15:10.000 I always say that if you watch a special on TV, you're getting 60% of the funny.

00:15:16.000 You're right.

00:15:17.000 You have to be there live.

00:15:18.000 If you're there live, you'll get 100% of it.

00:15:20.000 So not only that, not only are you watching it not live, right, because you've got a recording of it, but now it's also a fake recording.

00:15:27.000 So it's a guy pretending to be on stage and an audience pretending to be an audience, and the whole thing is a disaster.

00:15:33.000 Yeah, so maybe it's a blessing in disguise that it never got made into a movie.

00:15:38.000 They do a pretty decent job of capturing, the marvelous Mrs. Maisel does, of capturing the early scene in clubs, of her going up drunk and talking shit, and then people telling her, you could probably do comedy.

00:15:51.000 It seems chaotic and real, but it gets a little less realistic as time goes on. 0.53

00:15:56.000 But you watch that show and you like it.

00:15:57.000 Yeah, I like the first two seasons.

00:15:59.000 The third season, I'm like...

00:16:01.000 I hope they're not losing me here.

00:16:02.000 And it takes place in the 50s?

00:16:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:05.000 Yeah, I would watch something like that, except there's just too much.

00:16:09.000 First of all, there's just too much.

00:16:11.000 Too many things to watch.

00:16:12.000 I mean, I put it on my list, but I'm going to get to that.

00:16:16.000 And does everything have to be like a season?

00:16:21.000 Does everything have to be so drawn back to our subject?

00:16:24.000 Everything is either very condensed or way too drawn out.

00:16:28.000 And you have to follow it. 0.83

00:16:29.000 It's not like an episode of Friends where you don't have to know what the fuck happened the week before. 0.97

00:16:34.000 You can just tune in. 0.93

00:16:35.000 Seinfeld's not dependent upon the week before.

00:16:37.000 Right.

00:16:38.000 Everything's an arc.

00:16:39.000 Everything is.

00:16:40.000 And people binge.

00:16:41.000 I don't binge.

00:16:42.000 I never binged anything.

00:16:45.000 I have the opposite problem.

00:16:46.000 I have watching ADD. I love to watch TV. It's the last thing I do before I sleep at night.

00:16:57.000 But unless something is absolutely compelling, I don't watch more than 15 minutes of it.

00:17:02.000 I'll watch 15 minutes of this and then 15 minutes of that and 15 minutes of something else thing and then go to sleep.

00:17:07.000 You know, people are structuring their Netflix specials that way because of that.

00:17:11.000 People are doing their closing bit first.

00:17:13.000 I read that somewhere that you have to grab them. 0.91

00:17:18.000 That's why every fucking drama is something and then six months earlier. 0.97

00:17:25.000 We have to go back because you have to grab them first. 0.98

00:17:29.000 And it's such a tired trope now.

00:17:31.000 It's like now that we've seen it a hundred times, think of something else.

00:17:35.000 Or just go really crazy and do something linearly.

00:17:40.000 Well, this whole thing that you were saying before, we either have a seven-second attention span or we have three hours.

00:17:47.000 I would love to see someone try to make a movie like Steve McQueen's Le Mans.

00:17:53.000 The old Steve McQueen.

00:17:55.000 Yeah, the old Steve McQueen.

00:17:57.000 Kids, there was a Steve McQueen before the very talented director.

00:18:01.000 Oh, I didn't know there was a director, Steve McLean.

00:18:03.000 Yes, you do.

00:18:04.000 Who is he?

00:18:05.000 What does he do?

00:18:07.000 He directs...

00:18:08.000 Well, you know, right?

00:18:09.000 You heard of him?

00:18:10.000 He's an African-American.

00:18:12.000 He directed 12 Years a Slave, I believe.

00:18:15.000 Oh, okay.

00:18:15.000 Are you using your magic light box to Google it?

00:18:19.000 I can name you maybe four directors ever.

00:18:21.000 He's a big director.

00:18:22.000 He's a major, major guy.

00:18:25.000 That's Steve McQueen.

00:18:26.000 Oh, there he goes.

00:18:27.000 I didn't know who he is.

00:18:28.000 Shame, hunger. 0.86

00:18:29.000 Widows, yes. 0.97

00:18:30.000 He just did Widows.

00:18:31.000 Never saw that.

00:18:32.000 Widows, 12 Years.

00:18:33.000 Yeah.

00:18:34.000 Anyway, I remember the old Steve McQueen, too.

00:18:37.000 Yes, the one who died of cancer in 1980, I believe.

00:18:42.000 I remember him chasing cures in Mexico.

00:18:46.000 Lung cancer?

00:18:48.000 I think probably.

00:18:49.000 I think he probably was a heavy smoker.

00:18:53.000 But yeah, he was...

00:18:56.000 He was, what about him?

00:18:57.000 The movie Le Mans is a really slow beginning.

00:19:01.000 There's no talking for like the first, I don't know how many minutes.

00:19:04.000 It's just, you know, people going about their life on the racetrack, like all preparing for things.

00:19:09.000 There's no chat.

00:19:10.000 Oh.

00:19:11.000 You ever try to watch a Hitchcock movie?

00:19:13.000 Oh yeah, same thing, yeah.

00:19:14.000 I mean, it just shows how different the audiences are and how we have...

00:19:20.000 I don't know if it's that or if it's that there's an expectation that people have a short attention span so that everything is made for that expectation.

00:19:29.000 No, they do.

00:19:30.000 They do.

00:19:30.000 I do think they really do.

00:19:32.000 I mean, the more you – I do.

00:19:34.000 I must say, as someone who grew up when Alfred Hitchcock was still – Was he still making?

00:19:41.000 Yeah, he made a movie in 1972. I was 16. I saw it in the theater.

00:19:45.000 It was one of his last.

00:19:47.000 He was on his last legs.

00:19:48.000 But Psycho was 1960. I was too young for that.

00:19:53.000 But he was still very in vogue and a big director.

00:20:00.000 I did watch the one he made in 1956, the year I was born, called The Man Who Knew Too Much, I think.

00:20:08.000 It's a story he made three times.

00:20:11.000 He liked that story about the innocent guy who's being chased.

00:20:16.000 By somebody, and he doesn't know why they're chasing him, and the police are after him, but he's got to find the bad guys before the police find him.

00:20:25.000 It's Jimmy Stewart and Doris Day.

00:20:28.000 It is, I mean, they talked about the master of suspense.

00:20:32.000 I mean, Jesus Christ, it's like the master of keeping me from falling asleep.

00:20:37.000 It's really subtle, slow.

00:20:43.000 I'm sorry, but I think they've improved on that.

00:20:46.000 Maybe that's sacrilege to the movie community, and Martin Scorsese will write me a letter or something, but Jesus Christ, I'd much rather watch Salt.

00:20:56.000 There's a thriller that moves, or Jason Bourne, those movies.

00:21:01.000 I feel like they took what Hitchcock was doing, and yes, they revved it up, and I'm glad they did.

00:21:09.000 Hitchcock's hard to get through.

00:21:11.000 But you also have to realize when Hitchcock was making films, they've been only making films for 50 years.

00:21:17.000 Oh, even less.

00:21:18.000 I mean, he started in the late 30s.

00:21:20.000 Right, right.

00:21:21.000 I mean, talkies had only been around for like 10 years.

00:21:24.000 That's crazy.

00:21:24.000 He goes way back, yeah.

00:21:26.000 So, I mean, there's something about that, like, even when you think about stand-up, like, have you ever tried listening to Lenny Bruce?

00:21:32.000 No.

00:21:32.000 I certainly have.

00:21:33.000 Good example.

00:21:35.000 Yeah.

00:21:35.000 I can't do it.

00:21:36.000 It doesn't work anymore.

00:21:38.000 Contextually, we're in a different world.

00:21:41.000 But any of those old schoolers.

00:21:43.000 Yeah.

00:21:44.000 That's a point.

00:21:44.000 It's funny.

00:21:45.000 It's in True Story where I talk about how those guys who are such...

00:21:49.000 Some icons couldn't make it today because they take too long.

00:21:55.000 You could take two minutes before you got to the punchline.

00:22:00.000 You could take two minutes to set something up.

00:22:02.000 The audience was perfectly okay with that.

00:22:05.000 You could never do that today.

00:22:07.000 Jack Benny and Bob Hope was more rapid fire.

00:22:11.000 But a lot of these old schoolers... 1.00

00:22:14.000 I mean, I have a never funny list.

00:22:18.000 Me and a friend of mine created years ago, and some of them are on it.

00:22:23.000 Danny Thomas, I don't know, Red Skelton.

00:22:27.000 I mean, there's some people I thought were never...

00:22:29.000 Bill Cosby, I must say, was on that list.

00:22:31.000 Really?

00:22:32.000 Oh, yeah.

00:22:33.000 You never thought he was funny?

00:22:33.000 Never thought he was funny.

00:22:35.000 Even when he was doing Bill Cosby himself, like back in the album days...

00:22:40.000 I may have missed some stuff he did, but everything I ever heard, even when I was a kid and I saw him on TV, I'm like, no. 0.99

00:22:47.000 This shit's corny. 0.98

00:22:48.000 I feel very, very ahead of my time. 1.00

00:22:52.000 I never liked him.

00:22:55.000 Well, it was one of those things where if you had said any of this that you're saying 10 years ago, people would have been furious at you.

00:23:05.000 Well, somebody told me he was a creep back in 1983. Ah, okay.

00:23:10.000 Someone told me in 94. Yeah.

00:23:13.000 And it was somebody I liked, not somebody I was romantically involved with, but a girl who he was horrible to.

00:23:19.000 And I never liked him after that as a person.

00:23:23.000 That makes sense.

00:23:24.000 I had heard from people on the set of news radio that he drugged girls.

00:23:30.000 It was like one of those weird things you heard as a room like, what does he do?

00:23:33.000 He drug girls? 0.79

00:23:34.000 Like Bill Cosby?

00:23:35.000 Bill Cosby, Bill Cosby.

00:23:36.000 We're talking about the same guy?

00:23:38.000 It's not like Steve McQueen, Steve McQueen.

00:23:40.000 We'll get him confused.

00:23:41.000 Right.

00:23:42.000 No, I mean...

00:23:44.000 America's dad.

00:23:45.000 And you have to wonder why a guy who could get laid, even as a married man... 0.96

00:23:54.000 That's obviously a sick kink he had. 0.99

00:23:57.000 But I also know a guy who was a promoter and told incredibly ridiculous stories about things that Bill Cosby did that were not sexual, but just informed me that what his kink is is part of a much larger sickness about control and making people do control. 0.94

00:24:19.000 Weird things because he can.

00:24:22.000 Let me tell you what I heard.

00:24:23.000 You tell me what you heard.

00:24:24.000 I heard he makes people watch him eat curry.

00:24:27.000 He would make the whole staff come into his dressing room and watch him eat.

00:24:31.000 I hadn't heard that exactly, but it's exactly in line with what I heard, that he would do things like make you, what was one of them, like he would order food and then he would say, you know, scoop out the doughy part of the hamburger bun with After you wash your hands and put it back on the hamburger.

00:24:55.000 Or once he asked them to send him the soap that he hadn't finished using in the dressing room.

00:25:06.000 Send it to him. 1.00

00:25:08.000 Yeah, just like crazy, crazy shit. 1.00

00:25:13.000 That again speaks to a pathology that's... 1.00

00:25:19.000 Larger than what we know about him sexually.

00:25:23.000 That fits as a subcategory under that because to need to have the woman be unconscious, that's a weird thing. 1.00

00:25:32.000 I can't get into...

00:25:35.000 There's certain things...

00:25:36.000 I can't even imagine why someone would find it attractive to be with a child.

00:25:41.000 I can't understand why that would be appealing to you.

00:25:44.000 I can't understand this.

00:25:46.000 A lot of things I can't understand.

00:25:48.000 I worked at a casino, and he made the security guard tuck him into bed and shut the lights off.

00:25:57.000 He's like, I'm going to lie on the bed, and I want you to tuck me in and shut the lights off.

00:26:04.000 He had a whole routine that he wanted them to follow, and he wanted them to tuck him into bed.

00:26:11.000 Well, I had a friend who had an interesting take on it, and he said there is something that happens to some famous people, particularly famous people who were famous a long time ago, where they feel like they are better than other people.

00:26:26.000 There is a giant gap between them and other people, and they feel like they can do things to people.

00:26:32.000 I don't think that's uncommon.

00:26:34.000 But his pathology.

00:26:36.000 But most people try to hide that.

00:26:38.000 They try to hide that feeling.

00:26:40.000 They try to present, you know, it's called acting.

00:26:44.000 That's why when they're in front of the camera, they're so charming, but we know that behind the scenes, they're not.

00:26:51.000 But he seemed to wear it on his sleeve.

00:26:53.000 Well, sort of sometimes, right?

00:26:55.000 But the other thing that he was doing in public was he was trying to chastise other comics for using bad words, and he had a lot of weird control issues with that as well.

00:27:05.000 But my friend's take on it was...

00:27:07.000 That he thinks that there are people that they get to this position where they think that they're owed things.

00:27:14.000 And he thought about that sexually, too.

00:27:17.000 He said he probably felt like he was just so above those women that he didn't even want to negotiate with them. 1.00

00:27:21.000 He just drugged them and fucked them because he's Bill Cosby and they should be happy. 1.00

00:27:26.000 It's crazy. 1.00

00:27:27.000 The human mind...

00:27:31.000 Is the bottom of the ocean.

00:27:33.000 It's mostly unexplored.

00:27:36.000 A giant mystery.

00:27:38.000 Well, especially that kind of scenario.

00:27:41.000 I mean, how many human beings have ever experienced what he's experienced?

00:27:44.000 He's been famous since the 1950s.

00:27:46.000 Right.

00:27:46.000 He was an American icon.

00:27:47.000 Right.

00:27:47.000 He is rich beyond imagination.

00:27:49.000 Groundbreaker.

00:27:50.000 And a legitimate world-class stand-up comic who toured the whole world, created this Cosby show that was a groundbreaking television show.

00:27:57.000 Oh, yeah.

00:27:58.000 So many factors.

00:27:59.000 So many factors. 1.00

00:28:00.000 And then on top of that, a psychotic pervert and a creep and drugging women. 0.99

00:28:05.000 I mean, on top... 1.00

00:28:06.000 Who knows what other fucking shit is? 1.00

00:28:08.000 Probably not just that. 1.00

00:28:09.000 No. 0.99

00:28:10.000 You know, when someone's that fucked up, it's probably not just... 0.99

00:28:12.000 They might find like 30 dead cats in his backyard. 1.00

00:28:14.000 I mean, who knows what the fucking guy's into? 0.98

00:28:17.000 Well, somebody told me, and this may not be true, that he was drugging people with animal tranquilizers. 0.99

00:28:25.000 He had a vet's license or something, and that's how he was...

00:28:30.000 Because people were like, how did he get the stuff that he was using for the knockout pills?

00:28:37.000 Would it offend you if I put my feet up?

00:28:40.000 No, not at all.

00:28:40.000 It wouldn't?

00:28:41.000 Why would it offend me?

00:28:42.000 Well, it's a man cave.

00:28:43.000 Put them up there, buddy.

00:28:44.000 Relax.

00:28:45.000 I want you to feel good.

00:28:47.000 I put my feet up here all the time.

00:28:48.000 Oh, great.

00:28:48.000 You got some loafers on purpose.

00:28:50.000 Those are your choice.

00:28:51.000 You wore those today.

00:28:52.000 I didn't even think about it.

00:28:53.000 See, that's why I'm saying I'm glad I did this because I don't have to think about, oh, my wardrobe and what I'm going to wear and is Johnny going to like me?

00:29:01.000 Oh, boy.

00:29:02.000 Did you do the Tonight Show with Johnny?

00:29:03.000 30 times. 1.00

00:29:04.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:29:06.000 1982 to 1992. Wow. 0.99

00:29:09.000 Yeah.

00:29:09.000 30 times.

00:29:10.000 Yes, which just shows you.

00:29:12.000 That show was, when I started to do it, We're good to go.

00:29:48.000 I have like in my Sirius XM radio in the car the comic stations and I love them.

00:30:01.000 I would very often see somebody's name.

00:30:06.000 I've never heard of this comic.

00:30:07.000 I'll never see it again.

00:30:11.000 They play four or five minutes of their routine.

00:30:14.000 It's very professional.

00:30:15.000 It's funny.

00:30:16.000 I'm laughing.

00:30:17.000 And who is this person?

00:30:19.000 It just seemed like an innumerable supply of very competent stand-ups who have funny bits about the ketchup bottle.

00:30:29.000 And I don't know any of them.

00:30:31.000 And I guess they have followings.

00:30:34.000 Do you go to the clubs, though?

00:30:36.000 Club? 1.00

00:30:37.000 Fuck no. 1.00

00:30:37.000 I haven't been to the clubs. 1.00

00:30:39.000 It's like you go back to high school.

00:30:40.000 No.

00:30:40.000 I go to the high school every day.

00:30:42.000 You do?

00:30:42.000 Yeah.

00:30:43.000 I work at clubs all the time.

00:30:44.000 So does Leno and lots of...

00:30:45.000 Seinfeld, Chris Ross.

00:30:47.000 I don't get it.

00:30:47.000 I don't know why you want to do that.

00:30:50.000 First of all, because my friends are there.

00:30:52.000 I like going there and talking to the other comics that are there all the time.

00:30:55.000 Wow.

00:30:55.000 And I like to do it because it keeps me sharp.

00:30:58.000 I do that lineup at the store.

00:30:59.000 There's 13 other comics on the list.

00:31:01.000 But I work the road.

00:31:03.000 I do that too.

00:31:04.000 Yeah, but I'm saying, but that's how I keep sharp, or as sharp as I can be.

00:31:11.000 Well, also, I gave up on memorization years ago.

00:31:15.000 First of all, with all the pot I've smoked, it just wasn't going to happen.

00:31:19.000 I've used what I call the poor man's teleprompter for, oh, it's got to be 20 years, which is I have a music stand on stage, and then I have my notebook, which has my bullet points, and I don't think the audience even notices it after.

00:31:35.000 Every five minutes, I'm very...

00:31:37.000 I'm discreetly moving the page.

00:31:39.000 But that way I don't have to memorize anything.

00:31:41.000 When I get home from the gig, I go through it.

00:31:44.000 I redo it in the computer, print it out.

00:31:47.000 And it's just been the greatest thing because I can get to exactly what I want to say.

00:31:53.000 I hate comics who stand up there and go...

00:31:56.000 What else?

00:31:57.000 What else? 1.00

00:31:58.000 It's like, fuck that. 1.00

00:31:59.000 You should know what else. 1.00

00:32:00.000 You never hear me say what else to another.

00:32:02.000 I know what else, and I'm going to tell you.

00:32:04.000 I'm going to try to condense it.

00:32:05.000 I'm going to give you the best show I can for 90 minutes, and then leave.

00:32:12.000 Look, I mean, you certainly can do it that way.

00:32:17.000 Yeah, we all have our own ways of doing it.

00:32:19.000 Yeah, everybody's got their own way of doing it.

00:32:20.000 Yeah, we are.

00:32:21.000 I like to be around a lot of other comics, like a large number of very good comics all the time.

00:32:27.000 I think you feed off each other.

00:32:29.000 Like, I'm on the road all the time.

00:32:31.000 When I'm on the road, I'm with my friends.

00:32:32.000 You know, I go and tour with other...

00:32:34.000 I know you do.

00:32:35.000 Very funny comics.

00:32:36.000 But when I'm in town, I just like to be around as many as I can.

00:32:39.000 You should do my Hawaii gig one year.

00:32:42.000 You know I have a steady...

00:32:43.000 Well, I ran into Natasha and Mosha.

00:32:45.000 Yes, you did it last year.

00:32:46.000 Yeah, I ran into them and Maui.

00:32:48.000 I was like, what are you guys doing?

00:32:49.000 They go, oh, we're working with Bill.

00:32:50.000 Oh, in Maui?

00:32:52.000 Yes.

00:32:52.000 You were there?

00:32:53.000 Yes.

00:32:53.000 I was there with my family.

00:32:55.000 We were just vacationing.

00:32:56.000 Next year is the 10th.

00:32:58.000 It was like...

00:32:58.000 It was like New Year's, right?

00:33:00.000 Yes.

00:33:01.000 I started this 10 years ago.

00:33:02.000 Nobody would book it.

00:33:04.000 They all said, Hawaii's a dead market.

00:33:07.000 And I found this promoter who was like, okay, I'll try it.

00:33:12.000 And it worked.

00:33:14.000 Of course, Honolulu's a big city.

00:33:16.000 More than a million people there.

00:33:18.000 Yes, and Maui.

00:33:20.000 So we do Maui on December 30th, and we do New Year's Eve in Honolulu.

00:33:25.000 And there's always surprises, and this year Sarah Silverman did it, and Bobby Slayton, and we have sometimes some very well-known musicians who join us.

00:33:39.000 Woody Harrelson is also in Maui, and Plays with us a little bit.

00:33:45.000 Steven Tyler's in Maui, too.

00:33:46.000 Yes, I saw him there one year.

00:33:49.000 But maybe you'd consider slumming.

00:33:52.000 It's a great, fun trip.

00:33:54.000 And you're with comics.

00:33:56.000 I've never performed in Hawaii.

00:33:58.000 Every time I go there, it's just a chill.

00:34:00.000 Well, I'm going to hit you up on that.

00:34:02.000 Okay.

00:34:06.000 I stopped doing New Year's Eve shows on my own.

00:34:08.000 That's the great thing about it.

00:34:10.000 I always hated New Year's Eve. 1.00

00:34:12.000 What a shit day. 0.99

00:34:13.000 And the show's at 8 o'clock. 1.00

00:34:16.000 Oh, okay.

00:34:17.000 So it's just a show.

00:34:18.000 It's a regular show.

00:34:19.000 Right.

00:34:21.000 No.

00:34:22.000 Exactly.

00:34:22.000 It's a regular show.

00:34:24.000 8 to 10 or maybe a little after 10. We always...

00:34:28.000 The whole group sings Smile at the end of it.

00:34:32.000 I made that a tradition.

00:34:33.000 The old Charlie Chaplin...

00:34:36.000 Smile, though your heart is aching.

00:34:39.000 You know that one?

00:34:39.000 Sure.

00:34:40.000 Well, you'll have to learn it.

00:34:42.000 Jesus, what a weird gig.

00:34:44.000 Well, it's New Year's Eve.

00:34:45.000 You've got to do something as you send them off.

00:34:48.000 It's only an hour and a half left in the old year.

00:34:51.000 And I feel like that was the appropriate song because it was a song written by a comedian, Charlie Chaplin.

00:34:57.000 It's 100 years old.

00:34:59.000 It was a hit in the 50s for Nat King Cole, Michael Jackson.

00:35:20.000 I didn't know anything.

00:35:23.000 Oh, yes.

00:35:24.000 He married like – it was like Jerry Lee Lewis.

00:35:27.000 He was like with 14-year-olds.

00:35:29.000 Really?

00:35:29.000 Charlie Chaplin, yes.

00:35:31.000 I don't think I'm talking out of school about Charlie Chaplin.

00:35:35.000 Can you conjure something up there on your magic light box, Jamie, and see if there's information that – what are we – I just didn't know.

00:35:43.000 The audience says child molester.

00:35:46.000 Yes, Charlie Chaplin, famous for that.

00:35:49.000 You know, back then, I don't think they got you for it.

00:35:52.000 What was the legal age back then?

00:35:57.000 Possibly none.

00:35:58.000 Right, they probably didn't know the law.

00:36:00.000 I don't know if they even had such a concept.

00:36:04.000 I mean, we're talking about an era before women. 1.00

00:36:07.000 They weren't letting women vote in the teens. 1.00

00:36:10.000 Women didn't vote until 1920. I don't know if there were child labor laws. 0.99

00:36:15.000 I just don't know.

00:36:17.000 Well, Priscilla Presley, wasn't she like 14?

00:36:19.000 Correct.

00:36:20.000 Yeah. 0.71

00:36:21.000 So Elvis was a child molester too.

00:36:23.000 And that was the 50s, right? 0.54

00:36:24.000 Right.

00:36:25.000 Well, he went into the army in 58. So that's when he met her in Germany.

00:36:31.000 Her father was a colonel and she was 14. And of course, he was 25 and a giant rock star.

00:36:38.000 And he says to the colonel, Would you mind if I took your 14-year-old daughter back to America?

00:36:44.000 She can live with me at Graceland, and it'll all be good.

00:36:48.000 And the guy says, enjoy! 0.99

00:36:49.000 What the fuck was wrong with people back then? 0.99

00:36:52.000 Those are different human beings. 0.99

00:36:55.000 It's not just 100 years ago.

00:36:57.000 No, no.

00:36:57.000 We're so different.

00:36:59.000 Just our...

00:37:00.000 I mean, I'm a little older than...

00:37:01.000 16-year-old Harris met actor Charlie Chaplin.

00:37:06.000 16 is...

00:37:07.000 Not as disgusting as 14. That's not even, I don't think, the worst one of them.

00:37:11.000 It's a famous one as well. 0.94

00:37:12.000 Is there, like, Charlie Chaplin, the pervert, or child molester? 0.95

00:37:17.000 Yes, there definitely is.

00:37:20.000 16 is fairly young, but people died young back then.

00:37:22.000 I was thinking recently, people were just rougher. 0.98

00:37:26.000 You know, I mean, you and I, I think, walk the same path very often, talking about we, I think, are progressives, but we have short patience with some of the fragile, woke bullshit. 0.97

00:37:41.000 And some of that is just the way you're brought up. 0.98

00:37:43.000 I think kids are coddled, you know?

00:37:46.000 I think they're indulged, and that's the reason why they freak out over microaggressions and stuff.

00:37:52.000 And some of that is just, I was telling someone this story, not apropos of this, just talking about something else, but it just reminded me that here, I'm a kid who had, I think, a normal middle-class upbringing.

00:38:09.000 I consider it an idyllic time.

00:38:13.000 I consider it an innocence you couldn't buy today.

00:38:19.000 First of all, I grew up in New Jersey in the 60s.

00:38:24.000 There was no racial issues because there was only one race in town.

00:38:28.000 That's just the way it was.

00:38:30.000 I'm not saying that's good.

00:38:31.000 It wasn't.

00:38:32.000 There weren't racial issues.

00:38:34.000 There weren't drug issues.

00:38:35.000 I didn't try pot in high school.

00:38:39.000 Maybe there was a rumor that a few kids were doing it, but that wasn't even a thing.

00:38:44.000 There wasn't even any divorce.

00:38:46.000 It was really the land that time forgot.

00:38:49.000 You know, it was leave it to beaver land.

00:38:52.000 And I was telling someone this time, my father, who grew up in the Depression, cheap.

00:39:00.000 I, you know, love him dearly, but I don't think that's the wrong word.

00:39:04.000 And sent us to an army friend of his as the dentist.

00:39:08.000 And this is 1964. I was eight.

00:39:11.000 And did not use Novocaine.

00:39:13.000 Ugh! 0.97

00:39:15.000 And I remember vividly, I had like eight cavities that had to be filled.

00:39:19.000 He said, if it hurts, raise your hand as the drill went into me.

00:39:24.000 I was like, okay.

00:39:25.000 So they're drilling into me, and then I'm riding home up this big hill.

00:39:32.000 It was cold on my bike with the tears freezing on my cheek.

00:39:36.000 So get to the dentist yourself.

00:39:38.000 First of all, they wouldn't do that today.

00:39:39.000 They don't let kids just be on their own. 0.99

00:39:42.000 Like, get your ass to the dentist on your bike, get home after they drill into you with no Novocate. 0.98

00:39:48.000 And I'm saying, I wasn't raised by bad people. 0.99

00:39:52.000 People were just rougher.

00:39:54.000 It was just a rougher time.

00:39:56.000 And I wouldn't recommend these things exactly, necessarily, although getting someplace on your own I don't think is the worst thing in the world.

00:40:05.000 But a little more of that.

00:40:27.000 Change into my play clothes.

00:40:30.000 Fly out the door.

00:40:31.000 My mother never said, where are you going?

00:40:33.000 What are you doing?

00:40:35.000 You were gone.

00:40:37.000 And again, in Leave It to Beaver Town, there was a 6 o'clock whistle.

00:40:42.000 Really?

00:40:42.000 Yeah, at the firehouse.

00:40:44.000 The whistle went off.

00:40:45.000 Time for dinner?

00:40:46.000 Right. 0.99

00:40:47.000 And then you got your ass home when you heard the whistle. 0.99

00:40:50.000 We didn't have watches or phones. 0.99

00:40:54.000 I don't want...

00:40:55.000 I mean, I don't want to compare.

00:40:58.000 It's a different world, for sure, between the way we grew up and the way they're growing up today.

00:41:04.000 I don't know what's better.

00:41:06.000 I don't know which one's better. 0.94

00:41:07.000 There's certainly a lot of whiny crybabies today.

00:41:10.000 Yeah, but there's also a thing today where we're...

00:41:15.000 We're giving them access to information way quicker.

00:41:19.000 So there's got to be, and this is not something that's been studied, right?

00:41:22.000 Like what happens to a young mind when it has access to almost anything as soon as you get a phone.

00:41:27.000 You're giving 12-year-olds, 13-year-olds phones, and then they have access to everything in the world.

00:41:33.000 Everything.

00:41:34.000 Porn. 0.94

00:41:35.000 Porn, instantly. 0.99

00:41:36.000 Which I, you know, you're talking to a libertine.

00:41:39.000 But I do not think porn is benign.

00:41:43.000 I do not.

00:41:44.000 It is not benign.

00:41:45.000 Not the way it is now on the computer.

00:41:48.000 I mean, it's rapey.

00:41:50.000 It's...

00:41:52.000 What sites are you going to?

00:41:54.000 Any site.

00:41:55.000 I'm not getting the rapey porn, but I think it's not benign because...

00:41:59.000 Oh, please.

00:41:59.000 It's not...

00:42:00.000 It's domineering.

00:42:02.000 Yes, it's a lot of things that I'm not interested in, even in my fantasies.

00:42:07.000 I was doing a bit about that in my last special.

00:42:10.000 Like, even in my fantasies, I don't want to choke anybody.

00:42:14.000 I don't want to come on your face.

00:42:16.000 I mean, come on.

00:42:17.000 Coming on your face?

00:42:18.000 That's not...

00:42:37.000 What's that all about? 0.60

00:42:42.000 Because, like, the idea of porn originally was like, I can't believe these people are having sex.

00:42:46.000 Like, go back and watch porn from the 80s. 0.96

00:42:47.000 They're just having sex. 1.00

00:42:49.000 Ass-fucking, choking, come on your face, spitting. 1.00

00:42:52.000 Yeah, it's gross. 1.00

00:42:55.000 And so, I'm not surprised that... 0.99

00:42:59.000 Kids have mental problems. 1.00

00:43:03.000 Fuck up ideas of sex. 1.00

00:43:04.000 Yes. 0.99

00:43:04.000 I mean, what's a first date, a first real date like? 0.99

00:43:08.000 Right.

00:43:08.000 When you saw, you know, a team of Japanese businessmen come on some schoolgirl's face when you were 10. Oh, you saw that one?

00:43:16.000 The bus?

00:43:17.000 That was a rough one.

00:43:19.000 I think it was a flight attendant.

00:43:20.000 I don't think it was a schoolgirl.

00:43:23.000 Yeah.

00:43:24.000 There was a squid.

00:43:26.000 Yeah.

00:43:26.000 Oh, there's always squids.

00:43:27.000 They're into octopuses, tentacles and shit. 0.99

00:43:30.000 Yes. 1.00

00:43:30.000 Yeah, it's not necessarily benign, but neither is alcohol, neither is gambling. 1.00

00:43:36.000 Right, I'm not saying it should be outlawed, but I mean, if I was a parent...

00:43:40.000 Yeah, it's an issue.

00:43:42.000 I would keep it away from kids.

00:43:43.000 There's also an issue that you don't tell kids about it.

00:43:46.000 They find out from other kids.

00:43:48.000 There's no discussion of what it is.

00:43:51.000 No one in their right mind would ever sit down and watch porn with their son and say, this is what I want you to avoid.

00:43:59.000 This is why I want you to avoid this.

00:44:01.000 But it's probably not the worst idea.

00:44:06.000 There comes a legality issue.

00:44:09.000 I mean, I don't even think it's legal to watch porn with a 13-year-old kid, but if you have a son and he's 13 and you know he's going to be exposed to these things, you almost have a responsibility to talk him through it and just give him some...

00:44:22.000 To give some understanding of what is the landscape.

00:44:25.000 Here's a big one.

00:44:26.000 Why are these girls doing this? 1.00

00:44:27.000 Okay, here's something that people don't like to admit that enjoy porn.

00:44:31.000 The vast majority of them have been molested.

00:44:33.000 The vast majority.

00:44:34.000 Of who has been molested? 0.97

00:44:35.000 Porn actors. 0.75

00:44:37.000 Is that true? 0.97

00:44:38.000 Yeah.

00:44:39.000 There was some study they did on girls who get into porn who have been sexually abused, mentally abused, and physically abused.

00:44:47.000 And it was overwhelming.

00:44:48.000 It was overwhelming.

00:44:49.000 I mean, obviously it's just anecdotal.

00:44:51.000 It's based on one group of people that they, I don't know if it's the largest study.

00:44:55.000 It's not surprising.

00:44:55.000 Not surprising at all.

00:44:56.000 No.

00:44:57.000 So they're searching for acceptance and they're willing to do something that's way outside the norm.

00:45:02.000 I'm sure there's just some girls are just really promiscuous. 1.00

00:45:05.000 They're into sex. 0.99

00:45:05.000 There's nothing wrong with them. 0.99

00:45:06.000 They just love it and they love performing.

00:45:08.000 But I think there's less of them than there are of the girls who were probably abused.

00:45:13.000 And you know, maybe they turn a negative into a positive.

00:45:15.000 I'm not saying they shouldn't do it.

00:45:17.000 I'm not casting any judgment.

00:45:19.000 But I am saying that...

00:45:20.000 You should understand what this thing is. 1.00

00:45:23.000 How come some people like to fuck on camera and everybody else is afraid that you're going to see their genitals? 1.00

00:45:28.000 I don't know about the watching porn with your son, Joe, but... 1.00

00:45:33.000 Yeah, I wouldn't suggest it either. 0.80

00:45:35.000 I'm just saying.

00:45:35.000 I'm kidding.

00:45:36.000 But what I would tell a kid, especially a boy, is son...

00:45:45.000 What you're seeing in porn, don't think that women really like that. 1.00

00:45:50.000 Because they don't.

00:45:52.000 They don't want to have somebody come on their face.

00:45:56.000 Someone must.

00:45:58.000 Of course, someone likes anything.

00:46:00.000 That's one of the bad things about the internet, is that in the old days, if you were some sort of weirdo pervert, you thought, and the world was better because you thought, that you were completely alone in the world.

00:46:11.000 Now, whatever your kink is, you could put it on the internet. 0.99

00:46:15.000 You could write, you know, I want a hooker to shit on me while I play with electric trains, and there'll be a thousand people in two minutes who are saying, me too! 1.00

00:46:26.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:46:27.000 And that, I don't know, now you have a community of electric train shitter honors.

00:46:32.000 You got an echo chamber.

00:46:33.000 Yes. 1.00

00:46:34.000 They're all enjoying shitting on you with electric chains. 1.00

00:46:37.000 So that's all unhealthy. 0.99

00:46:39.000 But I just don't think that, and that would be my main lesson to an adolescent boy.

00:46:46.000 Okay, we can't keep the porn away from you.

00:46:48.000 Just don't think that's the way real women are or what real women like. 1.00

00:46:55.000 I don't think they like Tinder either.

00:46:57.000 In fact, I watched some documentary.

00:47:00.000 I can't remember what it was called.

00:47:01.000 I think it was on HBO about...

00:47:05.000 Dating on social media.

00:47:07.000 And that was the main theme of it was women are doing it, young women, but they don't like it. 0.93

00:47:12.000 And it's not surprising they don't like it.

00:47:14.000 Guys are, of course, wired very differently and they just want to hook up and move on. 0.87

00:47:19.000 I read also an article about it and I think it was in Vanity Fair and the woman says, okay, she did it once, she tried Tinder, she goes to a hotel or meets a guy she had just met over the phone and they fuck and then she said, 0.94

00:47:37.000 as I was getting dressed I turned around and he was sitting on the bed looking at Tinder.

00:47:43.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:47:43.000 So he had just come, and here he is looking for the next victim. 0.71

00:47:49.000 Victim?

00:47:51.000 Willing participant, I would say.

00:47:53.000 How dare you with the victim talk?

00:47:55.000 I didn't mean that.

00:47:57.000 I know what you're saying. 0.98

00:47:58.000 He's a predator. 0.98

00:47:59.000 She was a willing predator. 0.98

00:48:01.000 How dare you? 0.76

00:48:02.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:48:03.000 He's out there hunting.

00:48:04.000 He's trying to get gals.

00:48:05.000 But it's just what his gals... 0.98

00:48:08.000 Trying to get the ladies.

00:48:12.000 It's not designed for women's sensibilities. 0.98

00:48:15.000 It's just not.

00:48:17.000 Remember Ashley Madison? 0.72

00:48:19.000 It was the cheating site?

00:48:22.000 And it was like 12,000 women and 126 million men.

00:48:28.000 Crazy number like that. 1.00

00:48:30.000 And most of the women on it were hookers. 1.00

00:48:32.000 Were fake too. 1.00

00:48:33.000 There's a lot of them that were fake.

00:48:34.000 They had like fake accounts.

00:48:35.000 Yeah.

00:48:36.000 It was hilarious when you have a dating site set up just for people that want to cheat and then they all get busted because someone hacks into it. 0.99

00:48:44.000 Like, do you fucking dummies use your real name? 0.99

00:48:46.000 Like, Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:48:49.000 I mean, just...

00:48:51.000 You ever read that book, Sapiens?

00:48:54.000 Yes.

00:48:55.000 Such a great book.

00:48:56.000 And he goes into the fact that...

00:48:59.000 Monogamy, probably not what is wired in us.

00:49:03.000 The reason why there's so much misery about relationships is it probably wasn't that way.

00:49:10.000 In early man, and I'm saying early man, like homo sapiens, which haven't been on Earth that long.

00:49:16.000 There's no primates that are monogamous.

00:49:18.000 They've never found one.

00:49:19.000 And we are primates.

00:49:20.000 Right.

00:49:21.000 And we probably had a system, system is just how we were, that was closer to the chimps and where it was like communal fatherdom. 0.76

00:49:34.000 You know, you didn't really know whose kid it was.

00:49:36.000 So there wasn't this possessiveness because... 1.00

00:49:38.000 You know, I guess the women fuck different men in the grouping. 1.00

00:49:44.000 And there wasn't that feeling of I own you. 0.99

00:49:47.000 Right. 1.00

00:49:47.000 And this pussy's mine and all that bullshit. 1.00

00:49:50.000 You read Sex at Dawn? 1.00

00:49:51.000 No.

00:49:51.000 It's basically about that.

00:49:52.000 Okay.

00:49:52.000 My friend Dr. Chris Ryan wrote it.

00:49:54.000 Okay.

00:49:55.000 Interesting.

00:49:56.000 It's basically about that.

00:49:58.000 It's about how people behave, the polyamorous relationships they had in these primitive cultures before DNA testing and before they understood paternity.

00:50:07.000 That's really what it was all about.

00:50:09.000 It was about the community would raise children.

00:50:10.000 And there was a lot of shared sex in between different people.

00:50:15.000 So much of love...

00:50:18.000 Love is, I think, possessiveness, what people think is love.

00:50:22.000 It's not love.

00:50:24.000 And also, you make me feel good is not love either.

00:50:28.000 To me, and they always say, love is the thing that has never been able to be defined.

00:50:33.000 I don't think it's that hard.

00:50:36.000 It's selflessness.

00:50:38.000 It's when I care for your happiness more than my own.

00:50:41.000 That's love in any kind of relationship, man or woman, whatever.

00:50:44.000 Or at least as much as my own.

00:50:45.000 Yeah, right.

00:50:46.000 And if being without me would actually make you happier, then I'm for that.

00:50:53.000 That's love.

00:50:56.000 That would not characterize most of my early relationships, how I felt and what I thought what love was.

00:51:02.000 Well, it's interesting when we look at other animals, right?

00:51:05.000 Because monogamy in other animals.

00:51:10.000 In other animals, monogamy isn't a choice. 0.96

00:51:13.000 Like, the animals that are monogamous, they don't have any desire.

00:51:17.000 Like, it's naturally built in, wired into their system.

00:51:20.000 It's not like they choose.

00:51:21.000 Like swans?

00:51:23.000 There's a bunch of them.

00:51:24.000 Penguins, for instance.

00:51:25.000 Penguins, yeah. 1.00

00:51:26.000 Penguins are gay, we know that. 1.00

00:51:28.000 They all look the same. 1.00

00:51:28.000 They might as well be gay. 1.00

00:51:30.000 Aren't there gay... 0.99

00:51:31.000 Wasn't there a big... 0.99

00:51:32.000 Thing about gay penguins? 1.00

00:51:33.000 Well, there was a story, I feel like, about gay penguins or... 0.99

00:51:37.000 Really?

00:51:37.000 Yeah, there's something, because I feel like the usual suspects on the right...

00:51:43.000 Yeah, look up Charlie Chaplin, gay penguin fucking... 1.00

00:51:46.000 Fucking kids. 1.00

00:51:48.000 Smile. 1.00

00:51:49.000 There's something...

00:51:50.000 Maybe it was a story, something that made the evangelicals mad.

00:51:56.000 About penguins?

00:51:57.000 Yeah, about penguins.

00:51:58.000 I think it's penguins.

00:51:59.000 My point would be that any of these animals that are doing this, they're not doing this because they have a choice and they understand what it is.

00:52:06.000 Ah, New York Times, gotcha.

00:52:07.000 Gay penguins and their hope for a baby have enchanted Berlin. 0.99

00:52:11.000 Two male penguins of the Zoo Berlin have adopted an egg. 0.52

00:52:13.000 That's it.

00:52:14.000 That's what it is.

00:52:15.000 Two male penguins adopted an egg.

00:52:17.000 People are upset.

00:52:18.000 Delighting Germans, but upsetting Pat Robertson big time. 0.64

00:52:22.000 Oh, was he bummed out about that?

00:52:23.000 Yeah, somebody like that was.

00:52:25.000 Or all of them were.

00:52:26.000 I'm sure.

00:52:26.000 The family council, those types.

00:52:28.000 You think they want to have the example of penguins being gay? 1.00

00:52:32.000 I wonder if they even give a fuck or if it's just a hustle at this point. 1.00

00:52:36.000 Do you think they really give a fuck about these penguins being gay? 1.00

00:52:39.000 I think they have to say something because it's some new thing to talk about and it gives them fuel for outrage. 1.00

00:52:44.000 It's a juicy story in the news they could jump on.

00:52:47.000 Yeah, I mean, Pat Robertson, he's still on TV, right?

00:52:51.000 He needs material like you and I do.

00:52:54.000 Yes, that's what I'm thinking.

00:52:55.000 Yeah.

00:52:57.000 You never know with these people. 0.99

00:52:59.000 Gay penguins. 1.00

00:53:00.000 That's where you draw the line. 0.99

00:53:02.000 That's it.

00:53:03.000 That's enough.

00:53:05.000 Their agenda has moved over to the penguins.

00:53:10.000 Such a strange time.

00:53:11.000 It's a strange time where I feel like if you read Steven Pinker's stuff, he talks about how life has never really been easier than we have it today.

00:53:22.000 But it's also probably one of the reasons why people are so outraged about things today. 0.98

00:53:28.000 There's less real shit. 0.99

00:53:33.000 That's dangerous in this world. 0.99

00:53:35.000 There's less.

00:53:35.000 There still is real danger.

00:53:37.000 There still is real murder and real rape and real robberies.

00:53:40.000 But there's less of it than ever before.

00:53:42.000 But yet there's more outrage than ever before about nonsense things.

00:53:46.000 Well, when societies get too successful, and you could make that claim about America, that's when they become a feat, and that's when they become soft, and that's when they fall.

00:53:56.000 This is a story that goes back to ancient Rome and Lots of other societies.

00:54:01.000 You're a victim of your success.

00:54:03.000 In a large way, we're that because, yes, people don't – we were just talking about how people were rougher.

00:54:11.000 No Novocade.

00:54:12.000 That wasn't even the roughest thing.

00:54:15.000 We don't know hardship except for that sliver of the country that fights the wars.

00:54:20.000 Those people know hardship.

00:54:22.000 Of course, we do have poverty in America, but there's also a fairly substantial safety net.

00:54:30.000 That this country has.

00:54:32.000 In comparison to other parts of the world, but there's parts of the world that are riddled with crime and gangs.

00:54:37.000 Those people deal with real hardship.

00:54:39.000 Oh, real hardship.

00:54:40.000 Those are the people coming from those Central American countries that they always are freaking out about, the Trump administration, because yes...

00:54:48.000 When gangs rule the country in El Salvador and Honduras, those places, life is precarious and easy to lose.

00:54:59.000 But I know Steven Pinker's point, which is a great point, is let's not forget that in the last 20, 30 years, The amount of people we've risen out of extreme poverty, the people who used to live on a dollar a day.

00:55:16.000 It wasn't that long ago when I read this stat, a billion people defecate in the street.

00:55:23.000 That's where they poop. 0.99

00:55:27.000 That's all improved greatly.

00:55:29.000 Now, part of the reason why Trump people are upset about jobs and stuff and going overseas, well, that's part of the reason why, is because we lifted out of extreme poverty people all over the world.

00:55:42.000 But they took those manufacturing jobs.

00:55:45.000 That's why they're not living in extreme poverty and why they're not pooping in the street, because they're making Trump ties as opposed to somebody in Ohio.

00:55:55.000 So...

00:55:58.000 Pick your poison.

00:55:59.000 Yeah.

00:56:00.000 I mean, this is like what we're talking about with us growing up, that life was rougher, and life is easier today, but you have more access to information, so maybe it could be better.

00:56:11.000 And then things seem to be moving in a better direction in terms of things being safer, less violence, less crime, less rape.

00:56:17.000 And then people also get upset at you bringing up those statistics.

00:56:22.000 That's where it's really interesting that Pinker gets attacked for just stating statistical facts.

00:56:27.000 And he's not making value judgments.

00:56:30.000 He's just saying, hey, things are, if you look at the overall numbers of things, this is the safest time to be alive ever.

00:56:36.000 And the people, no, but what about this?

00:56:38.000 What about that?

00:56:39.000 It's a horrible hallmark of our era that we live in.

00:56:43.000 That facts almost always come second.

00:56:45.000 Yes.

00:56:46.000 Your political agenda comes first.

00:56:48.000 Yeah.

00:56:48.000 And if it doesn't fit in, then we don't want to hear those facts.

00:56:52.000 And that's the left and the right.

00:56:53.000 It is the left and the right.

00:56:55.000 It's both.

00:56:55.000 And it should be...

00:57:00.000 It should be something that everybody rejects.

00:57:02.000 It should be something that angers everyone.

00:57:04.000 It shouldn't be tied to one party or another party.

00:57:08.000 And it really should be something that if there's a real problem with communication in this society, one of them is the denial of actual facts and information.

00:57:18.000 If we know things, we have rock solid statistics, whether it's about climate change, whether it's about war, the budget, whatever the fuck it is, if you have a real number, And you want to spin and deny.

00:57:29.000 That's a giant problem. 0.94

00:57:31.000 It's a giant problem.

00:57:32.000 Right.

00:57:33.000 I get madder at the left because I want them to be better.

00:57:37.000 And they should be better.

00:57:38.000 And they're the science party.

00:57:40.000 And they're supposedly the fact people. 1.00

00:57:43.000 I expect this shit from the right. 1.00

00:57:45.000 Denying climate change and so forth. 1.00

00:57:47.000 They've been doing that for a long time.

00:57:49.000 The left has this dirty thing.

00:57:51.000 If you disagree with them in any way, you become an alt-right person.

00:57:55.000 I mean, it's obviously a small sliver of people that are doing this.

00:57:59.000 Yeah.

00:57:59.000 Boy, I got stuck in this alt-right category.

00:58:02.000 I'm like, you guys are out of your fucking mind. 1.00

00:58:04.000 I've never voted right in my life. 1.00

00:58:05.000 Right.

00:58:06.000 I know.

00:58:07.000 But there's a...

00:58:09.000 I feel like, I'm sure as you do sometimes, a man without a country.

00:58:14.000 And there's a group of us, Sam Harris, people you've had on, Jordan Peterson, Barry Weiss.

00:58:22.000 We're all progressives, but sensible progressives.

00:58:25.000 Real progressives.

00:58:26.000 Real progressives.

00:58:27.000 We're not blindly ideological to our party.

00:58:30.000 Right, and we don't chase these virtue signalers who are always... 0.99

00:58:38.000 As a friend of mine said, they wake up offended.

00:58:41.000 And I'm always reading a story.

00:58:46.000 Like, daily, I read something, and what goes through my mind is, this country now is completely binary.

00:58:53.000 There's only two camps.

00:58:55.000 We're totally tribal.

00:58:56.000 You're either red or blue, liberal or conservative, and everything that one side does That anybody does that represents that side has to be owned by that entire side.

00:59:10.000 Because people go, well, you're the party of.

00:59:13.000 So whenever there's something on the left that's cuckoo crazy, We all own it.

00:59:20.000 And that's one reason why Trump won.

00:59:22.000 Sure.

00:59:47.000 And these are not just famous people.

00:59:49.000 I mean, these are just regular people.

00:59:51.000 And I think when someone reads the kind of stories you see every day, and it's an eye roll, and it's an eye roll at the left, that's when you lose people.

01:00:01.000 I'll give you an example.

01:00:03.000 About two weeks ago, the Giants, my football team, the New York football Giants, cut...

01:00:11.000 I think his name is Janoris Jenkins.

01:00:14.000 Is he using the R word?

01:00:15.000 Yeah.

01:00:17.000 Yes.

01:00:18.000 We have to say the R word? 0.99

01:00:20.000 No, you can say retarded. 0.97

01:00:21.000 Okay. 0.69

01:00:22.000 Well, we're just, we're not saying it.

01:00:24.000 You gotta look like, oh my god. 0.99

01:00:26.000 I don't know what the fucking rules are. 0.99

01:00:28.000 Yes, and he, okay, first of all, I don't understand why that generation feels the need to engage with their fans on Twitter, but he was. 0.99

01:00:36.000 Someone needs to teach him social media.

01:00:39.000 Some guy was criticizing him, and he's a good cornerbacker, safety.

01:00:43.000 Whatever he is.

01:00:44.000 And was criticizing him and he answered back.

01:00:47.000 Yeah.

01:00:48.000 Again, I don't know why, but saying, here are my stats.

01:00:52.000 I'm pretty good.

01:00:53.000 I only can do my job.

01:00:54.000 Right. 0.99

01:00:55.000 Dot, dot, retard. 1.00

01:00:56.000 Okay, wait. 0.99

01:00:57.000 You missed a point.

01:00:58.000 You missed part of the story.

01:00:59.000 I'm going to explain.

01:01:00.000 So then the guy, the fan, says, well, why does it matter?

01:01:05.000 The team is losing. 0.98

01:01:07.000 And that's when Janoris Jenkins said, I can only do my job, retard. 0.99

01:01:14.000 Cut. 0.99

01:01:15.000 Like...

01:01:15.000 Cut from the team.

01:01:16.000 Cut.

01:01:16.000 Like the next day.

01:01:19.000 And...

01:01:20.000 First of all, I think he said something that I thought it was a hood thing.

01:01:23.000 You know, maybe Janoris Jenkins didn't get the memo. 1.00

01:01:27.000 Because he's not...

01:01:28.000 You know, like on Twitter 24-7 and living with the wokesters that we don't do this anymore.

01:01:34.000 I think they offered him a chance to apologize and he said no.

01:01:36.000 I think he did.

01:01:37.000 Did he?

01:01:37.000 I think he did.

01:01:38.000 He did after they cut him.

01:01:40.000 But...

01:01:41.000 Yeah, I don't think he, like, stood – I insist on saying this word.

01:01:46.000 But, you know, it seems like there's no room anymore for someone just to go, oh, sorry, I didn't realize this was such a thing.

01:01:53.000 Because, you know, they do move the goalposts often.

01:01:56.000 And they like to because it's easier to catch people that way.

01:01:59.000 So how about just, oh, sorry, I guess we don't do this anymore, my bad, and move on with our lives instead of, no, you're canceled, you're cut, you are irredeemable.

01:02:10.000 It's hard. 0.98

01:02:11.000 Ridiculous. 1.00

01:02:11.000 It's ridiculous. 1.00

01:02:12.000 And what I'm saying is, like, every day there's some story like that, and it just all goes into the bin left wing. 0.91

01:02:19.000 And that's when people go, you know what? 1.00

01:02:22.000 Trump's an asshole. 1.00

01:02:23.000 I don't like him, but I don't want to live in that world. 1.00

01:02:26.000 These people are even fucking crazier. 1.00

01:02:30.000 And that is the great danger of re-electing him. 1.00

01:02:32.000 And they very well may do it.

01:02:34.000 Yeah, it very well may.

01:02:36.000 This over-correction, over-reaction, things like that infuriates people. 1.00

01:02:41.000 And they love it when Trump says crazy shit because it sounds like something that they would say. 1.00

01:02:47.000 He's trolling. 1.00

01:02:48.000 He had that one speech where he's talking about China.

01:02:50.000 This is the way you talk to China. 1.00

01:02:51.000 They say, listen, motherfuckers. 1.00

01:02:52.000 And everybody went, yes! 1.00

01:02:54.000 Yes!

01:02:55.000 Yes!

01:02:56.000 Like, just that alone.

01:02:58.000 Like, I even laughed and clapped. 0.97

01:03:00.000 I was like, that's fucking hilarious. 0.97

01:03:01.000 Because that is what you would hope some crazy version of a president would say that would never really exist, but all of a sudden he exists. 0.96

01:03:09.000 Sometimes he says something that I totally do not want a president to say.

01:03:15.000 But if he wasn't president, like, for example, when he was confronted, may have been by Bill O'Reilly when he was still extant, about Putin killing journalists or something, and Trump said something like,

01:03:31.000 well, we're not so innocent either.

01:03:33.000 Now, I don't think the President of the United States should say that, but you know who else says that?

01:03:39.000 Noam Chomsky.

01:03:41.000 That's like something Noam Chomsky says.

01:03:43.000 America's guilty of also doing these horrible things.

01:03:47.000 We're not innocent either.

01:03:48.000 Yeah, he would be a little bit more articulate about it, but yeah.

01:03:51.000 Right.

01:03:51.000 But the point is that no one judges anymore by the content of what they say.

01:03:57.000 It's just by whose team are you on.

01:03:58.000 So if you liked it when Noam Chomsky said it, you shouldn't hate it that much when Trump said it.

01:04:05.000 Or vice versa.

01:04:06.000 If you hated it that Norm Chomsky said it, then you should hate it that Trump said it.

01:04:10.000 But that's not how people react.

01:04:12.000 Well, the team thing is so prevalent that even when he does something militarily, like backs out of a country, you see people on the left criticizing him for not going in.

01:04:22.000 Or not engaging.

01:04:24.000 Like, Jesus Christ, you guys are supposed to be the people that always don't want war.

01:04:28.000 And when someone who's the president does something that's not a move towards war, we should all be saying, yes, please, more of this.

01:04:36.000 He's got a good thing.

01:04:37.000 Here's a good thing.

01:04:38.000 It's not like...

01:04:39.000 But we want to categorize people as being, like you said, one or zero.

01:04:43.000 Binary.

01:04:44.000 Irredeemable.

01:04:45.000 Like, either chosen or irredeemable.

01:04:47.000 And you have to be very careful With how you talk or you get labeled in one or two of those categories.

01:04:53.000 And people are so scared now.

01:04:55.000 I had a conversation with a friend a while back.

01:04:58.000 It was a crazy conversation.

01:05:00.000 It was alcohol involved. 0.98

01:05:02.000 But he said something really ridiculous. 0.99

01:05:03.000 He was saying that maybe it's good that women get so much money in divorce because of all the shit they've been through for men over the years. 0.99

01:05:13.000 And I was like, what does that have to do with money and divorce? 0.97

01:05:17.000 Like, if that's an individual person that's getting money from another individual person, is she collecting?

01:05:24.000 Is this like reparations for all the horrible things that have happened for women? 1.00

01:05:27.000 And he goes, well, and so he starts getting defensive.

01:05:29.000 He goes, well, what about income inequality that women have to deal with? 1.00

01:05:32.000 I go, oh, Jesus.

01:05:33.000 I go, well, you know that's not real, right?

01:05:35.000 And he goes, what do you mean?

01:05:36.000 I go, it's not like they have the same jobs.

01:05:39.000 It's not like both women, the man and a woman are both mailmen. 0.57

01:05:41.000 They both do the same amount of houses, but the man makes a dollar when the woman makes 70 cents. 0.97

01:05:46.000 He goes, that's exactly what it is. 1.00

01:05:47.000 I go, the fuck it is. 1.00

01:05:48.000 That's not what it is. 1.00

01:05:49.000 It's illegal.

01:05:49.000 It is illegal.

01:05:50.000 We've already passed that law.

01:05:54.000 Everybody walked on eggshells.

01:05:55.000 Everybody was like, oh, Jesus, what are you saying?

01:05:57.000 You're saying income inequality is not real?

01:06:00.000 Not that it's not real.

01:06:02.000 There's so many of those mic drop phrases that they use.

01:06:06.000 Kids in cages.

01:06:08.000 Which, of course, we don't want kids in cages, but there's a whole discussion to be had about immigration as opposed to just kids in cages.

01:06:15.000 Or Islamophobia.

01:06:16.000 Of course, that is a real thing.

01:06:18.000 It exists, but there's a whole other discussion.

01:06:20.000 But just these...

01:06:22.000 Look, the left often uninformed.

01:06:25.000 They just are.

01:06:26.000 But they have these bullet points that they feel like they definitely can shut a conversation down.

01:06:31.000 That's what I mean.

01:06:31.000 They don't feel like they have to learn a lot about a subject because you have these mic drop sayings or phrases that just stop people from talking.

01:06:42.000 Well, I'd fortunately known the actual statistics, and so when we were talking about it, I was saying, no, no, they choose different jobs.

01:06:49.000 And also, they negotiate for themselves differently.

01:06:52.000 They need to negotiate for themselves better.

01:06:55.000 Well, that's one of the things when people accuse Jordan Peterson of being sexist.

01:06:58.000 You know, Jordan Peterson literally counseled and coached women how to be more assertive in their jobs to get better raises.

01:07:04.000 Sure.

01:07:05.000 It was really explaining how to do this and just even maybe possibly against your better instincts to exert yourself and show that you understand your value.

01:07:15.000 And this is what men do.

01:07:16.000 And this is why men get raises.

01:07:18.000 And oftentimes women just kind of keep it to themselves and they're a little nervous about it. 0.99

01:07:21.000 But it is amazing.

01:07:23.000 I mean, you mentioned divorce.

01:07:24.000 Yeah, they don't assert as well going for a raise, but boy, the divorce thing? 0.87

01:07:31.000 I mean, that can go both ways if the woman is the one who has more money. 1.00

01:07:35.000 Yeah, but when the fuck does that ever happen? 0.99

01:07:37.000 That's like women who beat up men. 1.00

01:07:41.000 Women beat men up, too. 1.00

01:07:42.000 When I hear that, I'm like, oh my god.

01:07:44.000 I always say, then go to the gym.

01:07:45.000 You should go to the gym, man.

01:07:47.000 And get yourself a little stronger. 1.00

01:07:49.000 Men's rights assholes are like... 0.99

01:07:51.000 There's so much to make fun of men's rights guys, but I had one of my comedy specials, I had a bit about it, where they were saying, do you know that men get raped more often than women? 1.00

01:08:03.000 I go, yeah. 1.00

01:08:04.000 By other men, you fucking idiot. 1.00

01:08:05.000 Right, exactly. 1.00

01:08:07.000 I remember that. 0.99

01:08:08.000 Chicks are out there raping dudes? 1.00

01:08:10.000 What do you think? 1.00

01:08:11.000 Cheerleaders are out there raping cops? 1.00

01:08:13.000 Have you had Christina Hoff Summers? 0.98

01:08:15.000 Yes.

01:08:16.000 Yeah, I love her.

01:08:16.000 Yeah, I love her too.

01:08:17.000 She was on our show recently.

01:08:19.000 And, you know, we were talking about the fact that also they don't bring up a lot of the time that...

01:08:25.000 Most of the horrible, dirty jobs in the world are done by men. 1.00

01:08:30.000 They're the ones who are up on the telephone pole.

01:08:32.000 Most likely to die on the job, most likely to be murdered, most likely to go to jail.

01:08:36.000 Most likely to get a much longer jail sentence for the same crime.

01:08:41.000 So we're not crying about being men.

01:08:43.000 We're just saying, as she says, life is a complex mixture of advantages and disadvantages.

01:08:51.000 Yeah.

01:08:51.000 I think the pendulum's swinging the other way, though.

01:08:54.000 I think really dumb statements like, fuck all white men, like we used to hear on Twitter, and people used to applaud and retweet it. 1.00

01:09:01.000 I think people are now like, oh, what the fuck? 1.00

01:09:03.000 Well, that's a little out there, but I have heard when... 0.99

01:09:06.000 Now, it's going in the other direction because the race is winnowing, but at the point of, say, six months, a year ago, when lots of people were getting into the race, at some point there were 24 Democrats in there, and when a white guy would get in, it was very common to hear,

01:09:22.000 do we need another white guy? 0.85

01:09:24.000 And that was completely okay on the left.

01:09:29.000 And it's like, okay, but then we are saying...

01:09:31.000 That we're using race to judge whether someone is qualified.

01:09:37.000 And gender.

01:09:38.000 Right.

01:09:38.000 Exactly.

01:09:39.000 We are using race and gender to say whether someone is qualified, just so we understand what we're doing here.

01:09:44.000 Because I don't think that's exactly what Martin Luther King meant when he said judge by the content of their character. 0.95

01:09:55.000 It's the dumbest form of identity politics and it's really ridiculously dumb when they don't realize that that same sort of strategy is going to come right back around at you. 0.99

01:10:04.000 It's like people that think, oh that guy's pissing me off, I'm going to go fucking punch him. 1.00

01:10:07.000 Well guess what, he's going to punch you back. 0.99

01:10:10.000 It's not that simple. 0.80

01:10:12.000 If you go around judging people based on their gender and their color and their race, guess what?

01:10:19.000 They're going to do that to you now.

01:10:22.000 It's a terrible strategy.

01:10:24.000 I want to know how...

01:10:26.000 The divorce laws came to be.

01:10:30.000 I do.

01:10:30.000 I want to know.

01:10:32.000 Somebody must have written a book on it.

01:10:33.000 I just want to know how we got to this place where, you know, first of all, this idea that you have to live in the style of which you've become accustomed?

01:10:43.000 I can help you here.

01:10:44.000 I can help you in a couple ways.

01:10:47.000 Here's the big one.

01:10:48.000 Lawyers make a lot of money if there's a large settlement.

01:10:53.000 So it's lawyers.

01:10:54.000 Yes.

01:10:55.000 Lawyers don't make a lot of money if there's no settlement. 0.98

01:10:58.000 You know, Phil Hartman, when he was getting divorced, one of the things that he said to me, I go, dude, just fucking give her half. 0.98

01:11:03.000 Come on, man. 0.96

01:11:03.000 You make a lot of money. 0.96

01:11:04.000 He goes, it's not half.

01:11:05.000 He was crazed.

01:11:06.000 He's like, it's two-thirds. 1.00

01:11:07.000 He goes, the fucking lawyers get a third. 1.00

01:11:09.000 It's a goddamn scam. 1.00

01:11:09.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:11:10.000 And I've had friends that have gotten divorced, and even though they had come to an agreement with the ex, like, let's listen to this, and you'll get this, and I'll get this, fine. 0.99

01:11:19.000 Then the lawyers jump in, he's trying to fuck you, and they're trying to fuck you over, you deserve more. 0.99

01:11:23.000 That's exactly the plot of the movie Marriage, have you seen Marriage Story? 1.00

01:11:27.000 No, I haven't.

01:11:28.000 It's terrific.

01:11:29.000 I was, again, at the beginning, because it was about... 0.96

01:11:34.000 An actress and a theater director, and I was like, Jesus fucking Christ, can't you at least pretend that there are people in America not outside of your exact circle? 0.94

01:11:44.000 There have been so many big movies, you know, that are just about your world of show business. 0.98

01:11:50.000 Have a little creativity, make them something else.

01:11:52.000 But okay, I got over that.

01:11:53.000 And then it's just a terrific movie about, there's no bells and whistles.

01:11:58.000 It's just, we're married, we seem very happy, and And then, well, we're not happy, and we're going to get divorced, and then we're going to just do it amicably and not get lawyers involved, and then it all falls apart.

01:12:13.000 And once it goes down that path that you're talking about, it just becomes as vicious as anything without guns.

01:12:20.000 Well, I had a friend who got divorced and no family, no children.

01:12:25.000 They didn't have children.

01:12:26.000 And it dragged on for more than, I think, almost three years.

01:12:32.000 And even though they had come to some sort of conclusion, he was paying for his wife's lawyer.

01:12:38.000 I go, it's like you're paying for the general of the army that's trying to kill you. 1.00

01:12:41.000 You're paying for someone to fuck you in the ass. 1.00

01:12:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:45.000 You're getting fucked in the ass. 1.00

01:12:46.000 It's broken. 1.00

01:12:48.000 I have seen so many men broken by it.

01:12:51.000 Devastated.

01:12:52.000 Every time somebody says, you know, people unfortunately get a horrible disease like cancer, and they say, I couldn't have gotten through it without my wife.

01:13:01.000 I always think, yeah, and maybe she gave it to you.

01:13:04.000 I don't mean, of course, literally, but I just mean that when you're in a bad relationship, the stress, we don't know what contributes all the things to cancer, but that certainly is, I'm sure, one of them.

01:13:19.000 And then going through a divorce like that, I've seen people, like you say, just broken.

01:13:24.000 They get wrecked.

01:13:25.000 And it's a system.

01:13:26.000 The reason why the divorce laws are set up the way they're set up, people think, oh, we're protecting women. 1.00

01:13:31.000 Horseshit.

01:13:32.000 They're doing it so that they can extract the maximum amount of money out of the mail. 0.97

01:13:37.000 That way, the lawyer gets the biggest chunk that they could possibly get.

01:13:41.000 Most lawyers, they're working on a percentage basis.

01:13:44.000 Especially if a woman doesn't have as much money, or if the lawyer will come to her, look, we've got a deal here, we'll figure this out, don't pay me now, we're going to make sure we get you the most, we'll take care of it all in the end.

01:13:57.000 And this is what has happened to several of my friends that have been divorced.

01:14:00.000 And you know what it is once you see it.

01:14:02.000 What I get and I understand and I accept and I support is child support.

01:14:08.000 I mean, I grew up with a deadbeat dad. 0.99

01:14:11.000 My dad never paid for shit. 1.00

01:14:13.000 And I have many friends that have also experienced a lot of financial hardship growing up because their dad was a piece of shit and didn't want to pay for their children. 0.99

01:14:22.000 People are very close to me, including my wife. 0.99

01:14:27.000 There's a big difference between that a man taking responsibility for his children It's a big difference between that and alimony alimony is creepy There's something creepy about like my friend like I said didn't even have a child with this woman He is still paying her by the way.

01:14:43.000 This is the same guy very good friend of mine has been divorced for 14 years has been married For 12 to a new woman.

01:14:53.000 Still paying the old woman. 1.00

01:14:55.000 And my joke was like, you fucked her so hard she can't work. 1.00

01:14:58.000 Right. 1.00

01:14:58.000 Like she literally can't work. 1.00

01:15:00.000 Because he's a wealthy man.

01:15:01.000 He made good money.

01:15:03.000 And he works really hard.

01:15:04.000 He's not in the business. 0.89

01:15:07.000 He has a real job, and he works long fucking hours every day, and he has his own business. 1.00

01:15:13.000 And he has to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to someone he doesn't even talk to anymore because he used to fuck her. 0.99

01:15:19.000 I knew of a guy who was a doctor who went to jail every night because he couldn't make the payments. 0.99

01:15:29.000 And they would let him out on weekends to do rounds and stuff, but he was...

01:15:35.000 I got a better one for you.

01:15:36.000 Want to get anything crazy?

01:15:37.000 Yeah. 0.75

01:15:38.000 Hit me.

01:15:38.000 Dave Foley, who's on news radio last year.

01:15:41.000 Yeah, sure.

01:15:41.000 Dave Foley.

01:15:41.000 When he was getting divorced was when he was on news radio.

01:15:45.000 So it was a financial peak.

01:15:47.000 He was the star of the show.

01:15:48.000 He's making a lot of money.

01:15:49.000 Right.

01:15:50.000 And so his payments were set up for that.

01:15:54.000 Sure.

01:15:55.000 So this is in Canada, right?

01:15:56.000 Right.

01:15:59.000 He tells the judge, I don't make that kind of money anymore.

01:16:02.000 That was an extraordinary time in my life.

01:16:03.000 It's very hard to make that kind of money.

01:16:05.000 I'm an actor.

01:16:06.000 The judge says, your ability to pay has no relation to your obligation to pay.

01:16:14.000 Wow!

01:16:15.000 Think of that.

01:16:16.000 Just pause here for a moment.

01:16:19.000 What a statement.

01:16:21.000 And where else would we say that?

01:16:23.000 It's insane.

01:16:24.000 And we're talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars.

01:16:28.000 Hundreds of thousands.

01:16:30.000 Like as if he's supposed to conjure this up.

01:16:32.000 Like his career is supposed to magically resurrect itself in some really financially viable way.

01:16:38.000 And since it is usually the man still who probably has more money and is paying the woman.

01:16:43.000 Yes.

01:16:44.000 It's very anachronistic to how we have come to think about women as equal and strong and able to do everything we can do.

01:16:52.000 But when it comes to this, it's like, oh, we've got to take care of them.

01:16:57.000 Suddenly, they're very dependent.

01:17:00.000 I think it's a scam that's set up because the men in general are in control of the finances or make more money and they can extract more money from them that way.

01:17:08.000 I don't see a lot of people turning it down.

01:17:09.000 Yeah, I mean, that's why the system, I think, is set up the way it's set up.

01:17:13.000 It's dark, man.

01:17:14.000 I mean, the only time it's happened the other way that I know of is Tom Arnold.

01:17:19.000 Tom Arnold got away clean.

01:17:20.000 Sure, yes, it does happen the other way.

01:17:23.000 He's one for the males.

01:17:25.000 We got one on the board. 0.96

01:17:26.000 If the board was like here, it would be a fucking billion scratches on one side and four lines and the one through it and then next to it is like Tom Arnold. 0.89

01:17:37.000 That's why I never understood the concept of marriage because when people would say, why don't you want to get married? 0.85

01:17:46.000 I'd say, why would I invite the federal and state government into my love life?

01:17:51.000 It's very important.

01:17:53.000 You have to have it.

01:17:55.000 Otherwise, it's not real. 0.99

01:17:57.000 If you don't get a signed piece of paper, what the fuck do you have? 0.99

01:18:02.000 Just your feelings for that other person? 0.99

01:18:04.000 Not good enough.

01:18:05.000 How is she going to tell her friends?

01:18:07.000 She's got to tell her friends that he really cares.

01:18:09.000 You've been brainwashed by...

01:18:10.000 No, he really cares.

01:18:11.000 You think I'm serious?

01:18:12.000 I can see she's trained you to say the right answer.

01:18:14.000 Well, I think that's a crazy...

01:18:16.000 That's how scary the world is.

01:18:18.000 I think that's a crazy backward way to look at it, that without the piece of paper, it's not real.

01:18:21.000 It's not real.

01:18:21.000 Whatever you have with this someone emotionally...

01:18:24.000 That's what's real.

01:18:26.000 The paper is what's fake.

01:18:28.000 You shouldn't be worried about divorce because we're never getting divorced.

01:18:30.000 I'm not worried about you. 1.00

01:18:31.000 I don't know what the fuck you're doing. 0.99

01:18:33.000 Like, why are you getting so upset about this, Bill? 1.00

01:18:35.000 Just sign the paper and get married. 1.00

01:18:38.000 We're going to be together forever.

01:18:39.000 I don't know what you're worried about.

01:18:41.000 Jesus Christ, you're freaking out about it.

01:18:43.000 Don't you love me?

01:18:44.000 You're freaking out about a divorce?

01:18:46.000 We're not getting divorced.

01:18:47.000 We love each other.

01:18:48.000 God, sign it!

01:18:50.000 Sign it!

01:18:51.000 And then when you sign it, the darkness, clouds roll over.

01:18:56.000 But also, humans change.

01:18:58.000 It's so funny when you could say about anything else, I'm not married to it.

01:19:02.000 Do you want that thing there?

01:19:04.000 I'm not married to it.

01:19:05.000 But with a human, the thing that's most malleable, we're like, yep, I'm going to marry it.

01:19:10.000 But for some people, it works fantastically.

01:19:14.000 I think in some countries, they actually have term limits.

01:19:16.000 They actually have marriage terms.

01:19:18.000 I don't think that's a real thing.

01:19:20.000 I think it is.

01:19:21.000 Really?

01:19:21.000 Yeah, Google it.

01:19:22.000 Some countries have like a term.

01:19:24.000 We did this before, right?

01:19:25.000 Yeah, it's real.

01:19:26.000 Some countries have like, you could get married for like seven years.

01:19:30.000 Oh, I see.

01:19:30.000 And then you have to re-up.

01:19:31.000 Yeah, and you can decide at the end of it.

01:19:33.000 You're like, look, I think we're good.

01:19:34.000 Let's get out of here.

01:19:36.000 Right.

01:19:36.000 Yeah.

01:19:36.000 Well, but that's putting a level of logic into it that's probably not going to really obtain when the moment comes because by that time you're so codependent.

01:19:46.000 Girls are not going to tolerate that. 1.00

01:19:48.000 Let me ask you this.

01:19:49.000 How long have you been with Bill? 0.99

01:19:51.000 And he wants a fucking term limit? 0.99

01:19:53.000 Right. 1.00

01:19:53.000 My God, you guys are going to be together forever. 1.00

01:19:55.000 What are you doing to the fucking term limit? 0.99

01:19:57.000 Because if you stuck with Dave, I bet Dave wouldn't ask for that. 0.99

01:19:59.000 Dave's not like that.

01:20:00.000 Dave might be just a little boring.

01:20:02.000 Maybe he's not as funny. 0.98

01:20:03.000 But he's a fucking solid guy and he would have signed the contract. 0.98

01:20:06.000 You'd be fine, girl. 0.99

01:20:08.000 You'd be fine.

01:20:09.000 It's like when agents are competing to sign you and they're like, you didn't read for that?

01:20:14.000 Oh, I could have gotten in on that.

01:20:15.000 As soon as there's a financial incentive with anything, things get squirrely.

01:20:19.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:20:20.000 Yeah.

01:20:21.000 But it also, you know, I remember you, it's funny you mentioned Tom Arnold.

01:20:26.000 I had him on the very first episode of Politically Incorrect, I think with Roseanne.

01:20:32.000 And they were talking about marriage and he said, the great thing about marriage is when you have a big fight and somebody says, I'm leaving, you can go, you can't, we're married.

01:20:43.000 And I got what he was saying.

01:20:45.000 Some people like that, that you have this self-imposed barrier that- Makes it more difficult.

01:20:52.000 It's like a waiting period with guns. 1.00

01:20:55.000 Or when they make you look at the sonogram when you want an abortion in some states, look at your fucking baby on the computer screen there and come back tomorrow and tell me you want to kill that kid. 1.00

01:21:07.000 You have a waiting period. 1.00

01:21:08.000 You have to cool off.

01:21:08.000 You can't just leave.

01:21:10.000 Whereas if you're not married, you can.

01:21:12.000 Unless you live together, that's more complicated, or kids are more complicated.

01:21:17.000 The other one we got on the board is Kevin Federline.

01:21:20.000 We got him too.

01:21:21.000 What do you mean?

01:21:23.000 Oh, right, Britney Spears. 0.56

01:21:24.000 He's Britney's baby daddy.

01:21:26.000 Yeah.

01:21:27.000 He's driving a Ferrari right now on Britney's cash.

01:21:30.000 Absolutely, absolutely. 1.00

01:21:33.000 Plus, he got to fuck Britney Spears, which is a double fist pump. 1.00

01:21:37.000 Is that a good thing? 1.00

01:21:38.000 Oh, yeah.

01:21:39.000 He hasn't said one thing.

01:21:42.000 The whole time.

01:21:43.000 We've been here for 16 hours.

01:21:44.000 She has not said one word.

01:21:46.000 And that was the one thing that made a sound come out of Jamie.

01:21:50.000 She's got two things that a man enjoy. 0.99

01:21:52.000 She's hot and she's crazy. 1.00

01:21:54.000 She's probably fantastic in bed. 1.00

01:21:55.000 Is Britney...

01:21:56.000 But still hot?

01:21:57.000 There was a photo of her recently on Instagram. 1.00

01:21:59.000 She still looks hot as fuck. 1.00

01:22:01.000 I thought she... 0.99

01:22:01.000 Yeah, she was in a bikini. 0.99

01:22:03.000 Think she fell apart?

01:22:04.000 Okay.

01:22:04.000 She might be.

01:22:05.000 I've never seen her in real life.

01:22:06.000 You don't know until you see him, right?

01:22:09.000 Right.

01:22:09.000 I mean, I... I didn't...

01:22:11.000 Yeah, I guess I haven't...

01:22:12.000 That's her right now. 0.96

01:22:13.000 I haven't...

01:22:14.000 That's her right now? 0.99

01:22:15.000 Yep.

01:22:15.000 Well, that's a lot of...

01:22:16.000 Right now.

01:22:17.000 No makeup, no filter.

01:22:18.000 I was going to say, that's a lot of...

01:22:20.000 Look at that picture right there.

01:22:21.000 That's a lot of... 1.00

01:22:22.000 Oh, that one looks crazy as fuck. 0.99

01:22:24.000 She got some crazy videos recently. 0.99

01:22:25.000 I do not find... 1.00

01:22:26.000 Oh, she's crazy as fuck, man. 1.00

01:22:27.000 But that one right there that we're saying is so great... 1.00

01:22:30.000 Upper left?

01:22:31.000 No, no.

01:22:31.000 The one in the middle.

01:22:32.000 I do not...

01:22:33.000 Oh, listen, if it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you're both drunk, that's what you want.

01:22:37.000 Well, I'm never drunk anymore, and now I go to bed at midnight, which is quite a...

01:22:42.000 She's talking to your door. 1.00

01:22:43.000 Bill, wake up!

01:22:44.000 It's Brittany!

01:22:45.000 I'm here to fight!

01:22:46.000 And my dad's here with me because he has to be wherever I go.

01:22:50.000 I see that controversy.

01:22:52.000 Well, she's like 36 years old now, too.

01:22:55.000 Do you think she still has to do that? 0.96

01:22:56.000 Well, she does.

01:22:57.000 There's a whole free Britney movement from people who have nothing better to do with their time.

01:23:01.000 And there's no more issues.

01:23:03.000 Of all the issues in the country that you could adopt as something to care about.

01:23:08.000 But people are saying...

01:23:09.000 Because, yes, she still is under that...

01:23:12.000 Order that her father has to run her life because remember when she went nuts? 0.92

01:23:16.000 Yeah, she went crazy. 0.94

01:23:17.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:23:17.000 I think she's probably always crazy. 0.97

01:23:19.000 She just expressed it in a way that made people concerned. 0.97

01:23:22.000 And also I think she's a sweet southern girl who show business will make you crazy. 1.00

01:23:27.000 For sure.

01:23:28.000 I mean, the paparazzi chased her like they chased Lady Diana. 1.00

01:23:31.000 She couldn't leave her house.

01:23:34.000 Yeah, that level of fame is almost unmanageable for anybody.

01:23:38.000 It is.

01:23:38.000 What we saw Elvis go through or Michael Jackson go through or any...

01:23:41.000 Right.

01:23:42.000 You get to that super pop star level.

01:23:45.000 No one can handle it.

01:23:48.000 Yes, there is a point where it's...

01:23:51.000 Fame, I think we know, is terrific mostly unless it gets to that point, right?

01:23:57.000 I mean, when it's the people trying to help you, when other people are just looking out like, you know... 0.98

01:24:05.000 Salespeople and people at airline counters and people who just look at you like, what the fuck do you want? 0.92

01:24:11.000 Oh, I don't know, just for you to do your job. 0.98

01:24:14.000 But if they recognize you, then suddenly you get a smile.

01:24:17.000 I always say being famous is like living in a small southern town, you know, in the 50s.

01:24:22.000 Hello, how you doing?

01:24:24.000 It's so good to see you.

01:24:25.000 You know, people are just friendly in a way that they aren't anymore in big cities.

01:24:30.000 Well, you know where they're still friendly like that?

01:24:32.000 Dallas, Texas.

01:24:34.000 Dallas, Texas is crazy.

01:24:36.000 All the South is still a friendlier place.

01:24:39.000 I love playing the South.

01:24:40.000 I'm always in the South.

01:24:42.000 I never considered Texas the South.

01:24:44.000 It's kind of its own thing.

01:24:45.000 It's sort of the South, but it's the West as much as it is the South.

01:24:48.000 It's everything.

01:24:49.000 It's a world.

01:24:49.000 Because we're the South.

01:24:51.000 What?

01:24:52.000 We're the South.

01:24:53.000 If you look at the South of the country.

01:24:54.000 Well, we're the West.

01:24:55.000 Southern California.

01:24:56.000 We're the West, but we're also the South.

01:24:57.000 Texas is a weird thing.

01:24:59.000 Well, but we know what we mean when we're talking about the South.

01:25:01.000 We're talking about the Southeast.

01:25:02.000 Old Dixie.

01:25:03.000 Yes.

01:25:05.000 But Texas is so big.

01:25:08.000 Austin, to me, is not Texan enough.

01:25:11.000 I might as well be in New York, you know?

01:25:14.000 It's more like San Francisco, like a slice of San Francisco thrust into the middle of Texas.

01:25:18.000 Yes, it's too liberal.

01:25:19.000 Yes, I do.

01:25:20.000 I want the...

01:25:21.000 You want a real barbecue?

01:25:22.000 Yes!

01:25:23.000 Well, not barbecue, but I like that Texas flavor.

01:25:26.000 Houston, I love.

01:25:27.000 I always had a better...

01:25:28.000 Back when I used to go out after a show, always had a better time in the South than the North.

01:25:33.000 Much rather party in Houston than...

01:25:36.000 I don't know, Boston, which is a beautiful city, and I love it, and I love performing there.

01:25:41.000 But I never found the party, but you can't miss it in Houston.

01:25:46.000 Yeah.

01:25:47.000 They're a little more jovial.

01:25:49.000 Jovial.

01:25:50.000 It's interesting how we think of the South, too. 0.99

01:25:52.000 Arizona's not the South, but it's fucking for sure the South. 0.98

01:25:54.000 I mean, it's bordering Mexico. 0.99

01:25:56.000 Yes.

01:25:57.000 Well, Arizona...

01:25:59.000 Yeah, I mean, they're bringing up the rear a little bit.

01:26:02.000 That's a strange spot.

01:26:04.000 Certain civilization-wise, you know, there's some very conservative, I mean, it's the conservative bastion.

01:26:11.000 I mean, this is Barry Goldwater country, and there's Sheriff Joe Arpaio, you know, I mean, there's some real, real cavemen in Arizona.

01:26:23.000 What's an open carry state?

01:26:25.000 Yeah, but when you stick to cities, which we do, you know, we're not playing theaters in the sticks.

01:26:31.000 It doesn't matter what state you're in.

01:26:33.000 You're always going to be and get a liberal audience.

01:26:36.000 Look at the election map every year.

01:26:38.000 There's a lot of red, but any place there's a city, it's a blue dot, especially if they have a college town.

01:26:45.000 I played Birmingham, Alabama.

01:26:48.000 It looks like any place else, at least the crowd coming to my show.

01:26:52.000 I think it was Birmingham.

01:26:54.000 It was somewhere in Alabama.

01:26:55.000 It must have been either Birmingham or Mobile.

01:26:58.000 And there was a bass fishing thing.

01:27:05.000 Contest or award show, tournament, something going on.

01:27:11.000 Like at the same time as my show, or maybe my show was starting and it was letting out, but there was this, I was driving up to theaters, long crowd of people coming to my show who looked like, dressed like anywhere else, normal.

01:27:26.000 And then on the other side of the street, going the other way, Yeah.

01:27:47.000 Electorally, the divide, Trump does super well among people who never left the town they were born in, rural people, people out in the sticks, and does terrible in the cities and now much more increasingly in the suburbs.

01:28:04.000 The suburbs are the swing vote. 0.83

01:28:06.000 The suburbs, last time in 2016, there was a lot of people in the suburbs who don't follow politics that closely, and they just said, boy, things suck in America.

01:28:15.000 Let's let the dog drive for a while.

01:28:17.000 Let's see what happens.

01:28:20.000 Let's let the dog drive. 1.00

01:28:22.000 Let's see what happens.

01:28:25.000 He's a businessman.

01:28:26.000 He must know how to run the economy and all this stuff.

01:28:29.000 We'll try something new.

01:28:31.000 Those people, I think, first of all, a lot of them have peeled away already.

01:28:34.000 Those are the gettable voters.

01:28:36.000 Those are the people, if the Democrats want to win, I think that they have to target.

01:28:41.000 And they already have.

01:28:42.000 But that's why it's so risky to run someone far left.

01:28:46.000 I think if you run Amy Klobuchar, as much as people say, oh, she's, you know, dull and she's this and she's that and no one's excited. 0.97

01:28:55.000 Yeah, but again, binary.

01:28:57.000 At the end of the day, when there's only two choices, Trump or her, I think it would be very hard for her to get the nomination.

01:29:03.000 I think as far as winning the election, I think she would do it fairly easily. 0.97

01:29:08.000 Do you think that Bernie's too left?

01:29:10.000 Do you think he's too left for a lot of people?

01:29:11.000 For a lot of the country, yes.

01:29:12.000 Do you think that's real?

01:29:13.000 But the media asks the wrong question.

01:29:15.000 The media asks, and there's a debate tonight, the media asks the wrong question, which is, what would you do?

01:29:21.000 This is a question that only makes sense if you're running for king.

01:29:25.000 The question should not be, what would you do?

01:29:28.000 The question is, what can you get through?

01:29:30.000 What can you propose that Mitch McConnell will not either block or you can override with votes?

01:29:37.000 Because that's a very different discussion.

01:29:39.000 What Bernie Sanders wants to do, we shouldn't even be talking about.

01:29:43.000 Because it's not going to happen.

01:29:45.000 The free education, paying back student loan debt.

01:29:49.000 Better care for all.

01:29:50.000 Better care for all.

01:29:53.000 Unless the Republicans self-deport, even if the Democrat wins the election...

01:30:01.000 There's still going to be half the country that's Republican and half the Congress is going to be Republican.

01:30:07.000 And a lot of Democrats are not for this stuff.

01:30:11.000 You know, when the Democrats took over the House in 2018, it was moderate Democrats who won their elections.

01:30:17.000 It wasn't the far left.

01:30:21.000 So you get four years of spinning your wheel in the mud.

01:30:24.000 You get...

01:30:25.000 We're hoping to get some traction, even if he gets in.

01:30:29.000 Again, it's what can get through Congress.

01:30:31.000 What can you get a consensus on?

01:30:33.000 What can you make possible?

01:30:36.000 Obama, when he did health care, said, yes, if we were starting from scratch...

01:30:40.000 It would make sense to go for a single-payer system.

01:30:43.000 But we're not starting from scratch.

01:30:45.000 We're starting from a system where most people already have health insurance through their employer.

01:30:50.000 It's a crazy story how that happened.

01:30:53.000 It was World War II and they couldn't raise wages because that was the law, so they had to find a way to give employers something else, so they gave them health insurance.

01:31:01.000 But that's what we have now.

01:31:03.000 And a lot of people like it or say they like it.

01:31:05.000 I don't think a lot of people like arguing with their insurance company.

01:31:09.000 But they're afraid of something worse.

01:31:11.000 And I don't blame them.

01:31:12.000 If you're going to tell me the government, and I'm a Democrat, but if you're going to tell me the government is going to smoothly handle taking over something that large, I am going to be a little skeptical.

01:31:23.000 Well, it should be.

01:31:24.000 They don't smoothly handle anything.

01:31:25.000 There's no evidence they smoothly handle anything other than maybe delivering the news or delivering the mail.

01:31:31.000 Look, again, as an old-school progressive, when you go down the list of things that the progressives have accomplished, especially in my lifetime, I cheer them all.

01:31:40.000 Social Security, well, that wasn't my lifetime, but they improved it in my lifetime.

01:31:44.000 Medicare, Medicaid, these are great programs.

01:31:48.000 I mean, before Social Security, the senior poverty rate was like in the 28% or something, and then it went down below 10. It was a success. 1.00

01:31:57.000 But when you look at what the government really, what their big successes have amounted to, it's passing out money that very often they don't have.

01:32:07.000 That's what they're really good at.

01:32:09.000 Running a giant healthcare system, especially when the politicians who are proposing these systems will not, A, talk enough about, we've got to cap the gouging.

01:32:20.000 You can't pass out all this money if you're going to allow people, hospitals, pharmaceutical companies to charge anything they want, when the price of an EpiPen can go up from $12 to $1,200 overnight.

01:32:34.000 That just can't happen.

01:32:37.000 And also, they don't ask the people to lift a finger to take care of their own health.

01:32:43.000 Nobody's health care system is going to work unless people have some skin in the game.

01:32:50.000 You can't not tell the people, look, you can't keep eating as much as you want and as shitty a food as you want and expect us to cover the bill.

01:33:00.000 You just can't.

01:33:02.000 That is not something that anybody wants to hear, though.

01:33:05.000 Oh, I know, because I did that editorial.

01:33:07.000 I know, I remember that.

01:33:09.000 People got upset at you.

01:33:10.000 Well, here's the story.

01:33:11.000 People did not.

01:33:12.000 People loved it until James Corden said something.

01:33:16.000 Oh, that's right.

01:33:17.000 First of all, he did that, and in doing that, made fat jokes.

01:33:23.000 Which I did not, by the way.

01:33:25.000 You were talking about obesity and morbidly obese people.

01:33:30.000 Look, first of all, he missed a great opportunity to literally save lives.

01:33:35.000 If he had taken the opposite approach, he took the easy way out.

01:33:40.000 Of course, you can always get applause for saying, oh, let's boo the mean man who's told the truth.

01:33:47.000 That's not brave.

01:33:49.000 First of all, my point was, A, that you can't solve healthcare unless you ask the people to participate in that.

01:33:57.000 That was one.

01:33:58.000 And also, we've gone to this place where we're proud of it.

01:34:04.000 We're proud of being unhealthy.

01:34:06.000 Weight Watchers had to take the name Weight and Watchers out of their title.

01:34:10.000 It's WW now.

01:34:12.000 It's like, what?

01:34:14.000 What?

01:34:15.000 See, being fat isn't bad.

01:34:18.000 What's bad is someone pointing out that fat is bad.

01:34:21.000 But, I mean, I read the statistic in that editorial.

01:34:25.000 40,000 people a month, a month, die from obesity.

01:34:32.000 That's a crazy number.

01:34:34.000 That is a crazy number.

01:34:36.000 We have to somehow reverse this idea that we have in this country, not just about obesity, but about a lot of things, where I'm perfect the way I am.

01:34:46.000 I am just perfect the way I am.

01:34:49.000 And if you say different, you're a very bad person.

01:34:53.000 That's not a good place to be.

01:34:54.000 It's not healthy for anybody.

01:34:57.000 You're protecting people's emotions, but shielding them from a possible moment that might make them realize that they are eating themselves to death.

01:35:07.000 Right.

01:35:07.000 I mean, look, I said it also in the piece.

01:35:10.000 Beauty's in the eye of the beholder.

01:35:12.000 That's fine.

01:35:13.000 Whatever you think is beautiful, that's your deal.

01:35:15.000 But health is science.

01:35:17.000 Yeah.

01:35:18.000 That's science.

01:35:19.000 And when we get apoplectic when there's 50 deaths from shootings or something a month, yeah, it's very bad and we should be serious about that problem.

01:35:31.000 But 50 versus 40,000 every month?

01:35:36.000 And that's just what they're counting from...

01:35:38.000 The big ones, cancer, diabetes, and heart disease.

01:35:42.000 There's literally nothing about your health that is improved by being overweight.

01:35:47.000 So, you know, I said we shouldn't taunt people.

01:35:50.000 But, you know, compare it to anything else.

01:35:54.000 I also owned up to the fact that I used to drink too much and I smoked.

01:35:57.000 But I didn't defend it.

01:35:59.000 When someone said, you know, you went kind of hard last night with the drinking, I didn't say, how dare you drunk shame me.

01:36:05.000 Well, the weird thing about Corden, too, is he's not that fat.

01:36:09.000 Like, he could fix that in a couple of months.

01:36:11.000 That's not that hard.

01:36:12.000 No, it was opportunistic.

01:36:15.000 Yes, I felt like that, too.

01:36:17.000 He literally lost an opportunity to save lives, because as someone who does struggle with weight, He could have taken the opposite approach and said, you know, Bill makes a really good point.

01:36:30.000 And we should look at how we are dealing with this.

01:36:35.000 I noticed Jillian Michaels, the fitness expert. 1.00

01:36:38.000 She took a lot of shit for Lizzo. 1.00

01:36:40.000 For Lizzo. 1.00

01:36:41.000 Yeah.

01:36:41.000 And, you know, if you want to be whatever weight you want to be, that's fine.

01:36:46.000 But it's wrong to shame a fitness expert for saying this isn't healthy.

01:36:51.000 Well, it gets even crazier.

01:36:51.000 She said it's not going to be that amazing when she gets diabetes.

01:36:54.000 Yeah.

01:36:55.000 And people went, nut!

01:36:56.000 Diabetes has nothing to do with weight.

01:36:58.000 Diabetes has everything to do with it.

01:37:00.000 For sure it does.

01:37:01.000 Also, they lie.

01:37:02.000 They say things like, well, it's the fat gene.

01:37:06.000 It's not that.

01:37:08.000 Or here's another one.

01:37:09.000 And look, this is valid.

01:37:10.000 It's valid that in this country, it is a lot harder to eat right if you're poor.

01:37:16.000 Yes.

01:37:17.000 And we should totally address that.

01:37:19.000 I doubt if it's on any candidate's top ten list.

01:37:23.000 We're good to go.

01:37:29.000 Given that, let's not just throw up our hands and say, we're the can't-do country.

01:37:35.000 And because it's harder, let's not even try.

01:37:38.000 Yes, it is harder to eat right on a budget.

01:37:41.000 But I'll tell you something, something you never need to have with your food, soda, which is a large part of it, okay?

01:37:48.000 And you'll save money.

01:37:50.000 You don't have to have soda.

01:37:52.000 You don't have to have a Snickers bar.

01:37:53.000 A banana is 19 cents. 0.99

01:37:56.000 So it's not impossible to Adele got shit recently because she got skinny. 1.00

01:38:03.000 Yes! 0.99

01:38:03.000 Because she got healthier. 0.99

01:38:04.000 That was also a part of my thing, was fit shaming.

01:38:08.000 Not fat shaming.

01:38:09.000 People go, eat something.

01:38:11.000 Eat something.

01:38:12.000 I'm fine.

01:38:13.000 So you can feel better.

01:38:15.000 About your weight problem, I should eat and get fat, too.

01:38:19.000 Well, when heavy people have someone that they're a fan of that's also heavy, like James Corden, so he's heavy, he's got people in the audience that love him, and they love him standing up for other heavy people.

01:38:31.000 Yeah, we're fine!

01:38:32.000 We're fine!

01:38:33.000 He's one of us!

01:38:33.000 We're fine!

01:38:34.000 I think they felt like that with Adele.

01:38:36.000 Adele was this fantastic singer, super talented, extremely popular and overweight. 1.00

01:38:43.000 Like, yeah, it's fine.

01:38:44.000 It's fine.

01:38:45.000 I'm like Adele.

01:38:46.000 Everyone's fine.

01:38:47.000 But then she loses weight. 0.99

01:38:48.000 You feel like she's betraying you because one of the reasons why I liked you is because you're fat. 0.51

01:38:53.000 Now you're not fat anymore.

01:38:54.000 It wasn't that long ago.

01:38:56.000 We're good to go.

01:39:19.000 I guess that's bad now because, again, you have to be perfect the way you are and if you criticize that, then you're a bad person.

01:39:26.000 My take on this is just that there's too many voices that you hear because of social media.

01:39:31.000 You hear so many nonsense voices and they stand out just like everybody else's voice.

01:39:35.000 There's so many people just screaming into the void because there's so many social media accounts.

01:39:39.000 There's so many people that are tweeting about things and Facebooking about things and it gets people confused as if this is like a rational perspective.

01:39:46.000 And again, with these echo chambers, they're all just hop on board and support James Corden or support, you know, Adele needs to fatten back up and you'll get thousands of likes.

01:39:56.000 Everybody will go crazy.

01:39:58.000 That's the key word.

01:39:59.000 That is what I didn't understand until about a year ago, that so many people are saying things on social media, not because they really believe it.

01:40:08.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:40:10.000 That's really scary.

01:40:11.000 That's weird.

01:40:12.000 We had a billboard once when we were coming back on the air in January, just like now, about four or five years ago, and the tagline was, he's not in it for the likes.

01:40:22.000 And it's my favorite piece of promotion that anyone has ever done for me.

01:40:26.000 That's great.

01:40:27.000 He's not in it for the likes.

01:40:29.000 Yeah.

01:40:30.000 Advertising that as, this is why you watch this show.

01:40:32.000 Yeah.

01:40:34.000 But obviously that's not the way a lot of people feel.

01:40:39.000 They are in it for the likes.

01:40:41.000 And they will take a position that they don't believe in because they know it'll get likes.

01:40:47.000 And I've heard this from people I actually respect.

01:40:49.000 And I'm like, wow, you have an addiction.

01:40:52.000 That is an addiction.

01:40:53.000 Addiction of likes.

01:40:54.000 Addiction, yeah.

01:40:55.000 There is absolutely that.

01:40:57.000 And they calculate their posts based on the kind of response they think it's going to get.

01:41:02.000 It's not like a free expression.

01:41:03.000 It's not like they're making a post saying, how do I feel about this thing?

01:41:08.000 They're writing it down going, how are people going to react to this?

01:41:11.000 How am I going to get people to really think that I'm awesome?

01:41:14.000 How am I going to get people to really think I'm progressive?

01:41:17.000 Really think I'm an open-minded person?

01:41:22.000 The male feminist perspective. 0.63

01:41:24.000 Right.

01:41:25.000 I was just talking to my friend Jimmy Dore about that, about male feminists. 0.95

01:41:29.000 That's like a wholly false perspective, and you never see it in gay guys. 1.00

01:41:35.000 There are no male feminist gay guys, because they're not trying to fuck the women. 1.00

01:41:40.000 So it's not a position they would take. 0.99

01:41:44.000 They'll support you, they'll be your friend, but this whole idea, I'm an ally. 1.00

01:41:49.000 You're trying to fuck, man! 1.00

01:41:50.000 It's so clear! 1.00

01:41:52.000 It's such an obvious perspective.

01:41:55.000 It's just such a weird, sneaky thing.

01:41:58.000 But it's a version of the same thing people are doing for likes on social media.

01:42:03.000 It's a calculated expression in order to get the kind of response you're hoping.

01:42:11.000 It's greasy.

01:42:13.000 Right?

01:42:15.000 It's greasy.

01:42:16.000 Not the word I would have thought of, but perfect.

01:42:18.000 Whenever I read male feminist posts, I get angry.

01:42:21.000 Not that I don't want equality for women. 0.99

01:42:23.000 You're a greasy man. 0.96

01:42:25.000 I know what you're doing. 0.74

01:42:26.000 Do you read...

01:42:27.000 Your Twitter?

01:42:28.000 No.

01:42:28.000 Me neither.

01:42:29.000 Never.

01:42:31.000 Because...

01:42:31.000 Why would I... Exactly.

01:42:33.000 And what I read about people, very often, who've killed themselves.

01:42:40.000 Oh, yeah, after reading their responses.

01:42:42.000 That...

01:42:42.000 Yeah, this is a big thing.

01:42:44.000 How about this guy losing his fucking job for saying retard? 0.99

01:42:46.000 Couldn't you just... 1.00

01:42:47.000 Yeah, couldn't you just stop?

01:42:48.000 Well, he got a job with the Saints.

01:42:50.000 Did he?

01:42:50.000 Oh, that's fine.

01:42:51.000 Which is a better team, yeah.

01:42:54.000 But, I mean, I've asked some people who I know, like Barry Weiss, who's a brilliant person.

01:43:01.000 And she's like, oh, it's so depressing.

01:43:05.000 It's like, don't read it.

01:43:06.000 Oh yeah, she came out here. 0.70

01:43:08.000 That generation cannot stop reading, even when it's going to kill them.

01:43:12.000 I don't understand that.

01:43:13.000 Well, it's very impulsive, right?

01:43:17.000 You see your name and you see someone.

01:43:18.000 What did they say?

01:43:19.000 Oh, Barry, you're brilliant.

01:43:20.000 Oh, thank you.

01:43:20.000 And then you go a little further.

01:43:22.000 You fucking dumb cut. 1.00

01:43:23.000 Died you. 1.00

01:43:24.000 Oh, Jesus Christ!

01:43:26.000 And then there's a bunch of them liking that response and then a bunch of people piling on.

01:43:30.000 First of all, they don't even know you're a real human.

01:43:33.000 A lot of people have never met anyone famous.

01:43:37.000 And a lot of them are 15. I always say that if I had a Twitter account when I was 15, I would have said horrible shit to famous people just to get a rise. 0.99

01:43:46.000 Just to see if I can get them to react. 0.97

01:43:48.000 It's not even things that they necessarily mean.

01:43:50.000 They don't know you.

01:43:52.000 Unless they meet you, they don't even really know you.

01:43:55.000 But do people take it to heart so much that they kill themselves?

01:43:58.000 You know, a few of these K-pop stars...

01:44:02.000 Have killed themselves.

01:44:04.000 Really?

01:44:04.000 Look that up.

01:44:05.000 From social media?

01:44:07.000 Yes!

01:44:07.000 I think so.

01:44:08.000 I think that's the main reason.

01:44:10.000 Jesus Christ.

01:44:11.000 And these are, you know, pop stars.

01:44:14.000 Yeah.

01:44:14.000 Top of the world.

01:44:14.000 I can't imagine Bobby Sherman, you know, in 1968, reading his fan mail and going, ah, this one hates me too!

01:44:25.000 If Elvis had a Twitter account, hey man, who the fuck do you give a shit if Priscilla's 14? 0.99

01:44:29.000 We like each other, man. 0.99

01:44:30.000 Yeah.

01:44:31.000 Come on. 1.00

01:44:32.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:44:32.000 I ain't a pervert. 1.00

01:44:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:44:34.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:44:35.000 Well, maybe he could have used social media back then. 1.00

01:44:38.000 That's it, right?

01:44:39.000 That's the balance. 0.99

01:44:39.000 Like, you don't want Jerry Lee Lewis marrying his cousin and drowning his wives, and you also don't want Elvis fucking 14-year-olds. 0.99

01:44:46.000 Maybe it'd be better. 0.99

01:44:47.000 I, yeah.

01:44:48.000 Maybe a little bit.

01:44:50.000 There's a balance to be achieved.

01:44:51.000 I often wonder what my life would have been like as a teenager with this stuff because maybe it would have made me kill myself.

01:44:58.000 But I was painfully shy.

01:45:01.000 Couldn't really talk to a girl.

01:45:03.000 If I had been able to text them... 0.99

01:45:07.000 Maybe we'll be able to say some clever shit. 1.00

01:45:09.000 Exactly. 0.99

01:45:10.000 I think I could have done really well with that. 0.99

01:45:15.000 I would have had a lot of dick pictures floating around. 1.00

01:45:19.000 100%. 0.99

01:45:19.000 I would have sent it to everybody. 0.99

01:45:22.000 You fucking dumb and young. 1.00

01:45:24.000 You have no idea that's going to last forever. 1.00

01:45:27.000 I thought that was a humble brag about his dick. 1.00

01:45:29.000 No! 1.00

01:45:29.000 No, it's a regular dick. 1.00

01:45:31.000 Just any old dick. 1.00

01:45:33.000 I'd send other people's dicks. 1.00

01:45:35.000 But I would just think that the whole idea about it... 1.00

01:45:37.000 Yeah, because young boys love dick pics. 0.99

01:45:39.000 They draw it. 1.00

01:45:40.000 Yeah, they're crazy. 0.80

01:45:41.000 Remember that scene in... 1.00

01:45:42.000 What was the fucking movie? 1.00

01:45:43.000 Superbad. 1.00

01:45:44.000 That was one of my favorite scenes in a movie ever where he's just drawing dicks in class all day.

01:45:48.000 Yes, exactly. 0.99

01:45:48.000 It's fucking hilarious. 0.99

01:45:49.000 Yes. 0.98

01:45:50.000 Because it's so true.

01:45:51.000 That's so true, yeah.

01:45:53.000 Look, we got real lucky that we are not held up to the standards that kids are today.

01:45:59.000 Because everything they do today that they put online, they're going to put a lot of things online.

01:46:03.000 It's permanent, forever.

01:46:04.000 I couldn't imagine something that I said when I was 14 being permanent.

01:46:09.000 And that points me back to this thing about this football player and things that people write on Twitter.

01:46:15.000 It's something that Louis C.K. said to me recently when we were talking about this.

01:46:18.000 He said, people look at stuff when it's written down like it's different, but it's just talk.

01:46:24.000 It's talk, but it's written. 1.00

01:46:25.000 Like, people say, oh, she's a fucking bitch. 1.00

01:46:27.000 I'm tired of her shit. 1.00

01:46:28.000 And then you see her, you're like, oh, I'm sorry. 1.00

01:46:31.000 But that's talk.

01:46:32.000 But when you see it written, it's like, oh my god, did you see what he put on Twitter?

01:46:37.000 Did you see what he wrote?

01:46:38.000 You're talking to the whole world now, and you've got to realize this is a different thing, and then people get a screenshot of it.

01:46:43.000 You can never take it back.

01:46:45.000 You said it.

01:46:46.000 We're going to keep it forever.

01:46:47.000 We're going to archive it.

01:46:48.000 Look, he said it. 1.00

01:46:49.000 He said, she's a fucking bitch. 1.00

01:46:51.000 And there's no just talk anymore. 1.00

01:46:53.000 But we're wired for just talk.

01:46:56.000 People are wired for gossip and nonsense talk, especially when you're drinking.

01:47:01.000 But if you're drinking, then you get on Twitter. 1.00

01:47:04.000 You could say the dumbest shit ever, and you could tank your life. 1.00

01:47:08.000 And people have. 1.00

01:47:09.000 Yeah, with Justine Sacco, that famous case.

01:47:11.000 Yes, that was one of the first ones, the one who was on, as soon as she got off the flight.

01:47:15.000 Her life was upside down.

01:47:16.000 Right.

01:47:17.000 She gets on a plane.

01:47:18.000 I mean, it's almost comical, except for her.

01:47:20.000 It's comical.

01:47:21.000 You know, she gets on a plane and tweets that she thinks something is funny, and then by the time the plane lands, her life's over.

01:47:27.000 By the way, Family Guy did a hysterical version of that, where Brian, the dog, goes...

01:47:33.000 He tweets something going into a theater and it's semi-racist.

01:47:38.000 And then by the time he comes out of the movie, his life is destroyed.

01:47:42.000 The Twitter mob is literally a mob outside his house.

01:47:46.000 We're not designed for permanence like that.

01:47:48.000 To be able to just express yourself loosely.

01:47:50.000 It's like if you're going to write something in a book and publish that book and you're going to carefully consider every word and then you put that book out and you go, okay, we've gone over it, we've edited it. 0.99

01:47:58.000 It's a different thing than fuck this guy. 0.95

01:48:00.000 So what do you think should go on with Louis C.K.? You mentioned him. 0.99

01:48:06.000 I know more about it than most people because I've talked to Louis about it.

01:48:11.000 But what happened versus what's being portrayed is what happened.

01:48:16.000 There's a lot of stuff that's just not true.

01:48:18.000 He was never blocking anybody's door.

01:48:21.000 And what's unfair is that he cannot say it.

01:48:27.000 If you engage and defend yourself and correct the record, then you make it worse.

01:48:33.000 So you're in this sort of purgatory where if you hear things that are not true, you also cannot say anything about it.

01:48:42.000 That's an unfair place to be.

01:48:44.000 And also, is everything a hanging offense?

01:48:48.000 My problem... 0.99

01:48:50.000 With some of the Me Too stuff, and of course, I think like every right-thinking person, it was a great thing that happened, that men have been put on notice that you're playing with five fouls, and you just can't get away with a lot of the shit you use. 0.98

01:49:06.000 Particularly men in positions of power in the office play. 0.98

01:49:09.000 Right.

01:49:09.000 I mean, I think let's also extend it to the fracking industry and McDonald's and every other place in America where probably it's very prevalent.

01:49:19.000 Nobody ever hears about it.

01:49:21.000 But there is just no consistency.

01:49:26.000 Charlie Sheen, who I'm not picking on, I like him, but he got a Super Bowl commercial last year.

01:49:35.000 Well, he did way worse things than Louis C.K. Way worse.

01:49:40.000 You couldn't give Louis C.K. So people would be like, Louis C.K.'s in a Super Bowl commercial?

01:49:45.000 That is ridiculous. 0.97

01:49:46.000 Charlie Sheen. 0.99

01:49:48.000 Charlie Sheen has no shame.

01:49:50.000 I know, but he held a knife to his...

01:49:53.000 Did he?

01:49:54.000 That time in Aspen, he was with the third wife or something, and I seem to remember.

01:50:01.000 But he's being sued for giving people AIDS. I mean, there's just this litany of things that are way worse than whacking off in front of people, which is not cool either, of course.

01:50:15.000 But Louis did apologize and own up to it, and I just think, where is the consistency?

01:50:22.000 Yeah.

01:50:22.000 And also, where is the...

01:50:25.000 Is everything a life sentence?

01:50:28.000 Louis is a horrible person forever?

01:50:31.000 Or is there some point where we used to go, yes, a person pays his debt to society in some way, and then you're allowed back.

01:50:43.000 I just feel bad for him.

01:50:45.000 I mean, I feel like... 0.99

01:50:46.000 He did weird shit that he shouldn't have done for sure. 0.99

01:50:50.000 And I think he knows that. 1.00

01:50:52.000 I know he knows that.

01:50:53.000 But what is the proper punishment?

01:50:58.000 And who decides it?

01:51:00.000 Well, he's definitely working again.

01:51:02.000 So all the people that are complaining and bitching about it.

01:51:06.000 Overseas.

01:51:07.000 No, he's working here.

01:51:08.000 No, he's doing a lot of theaters.

01:51:09.000 He's touring again.

01:51:11.000 Right.

01:51:11.000 Yeah, when you're selling his tickets to his fans.

01:51:15.000 Yeah.

01:51:15.000 Sure.

01:51:16.000 But he certainly can't do everything he wants to do.

01:51:18.000 Right.

01:51:19.000 And he can't talk to him.

01:51:19.000 He can still tour, but even if he wants to do a special, boy, who's going to take him up on that, right?

01:51:26.000 Who's going to jump the line?

01:51:27.000 And maybe the proper punishment is another five years before you can have a special.

01:51:33.000 Oh, that's a long time.

01:51:34.000 Well, I'm just saying. 1.00

01:51:34.000 I'm just pulling it out of my ass. 1.00

01:51:36.000 I'm just saying we need some sort of... 1.00

01:51:39.000 It's been more than two years now.

01:51:41.000 Some sort of Me Too court that...

01:51:43.000 We'll hand down a fair and justified...

01:51:47.000 Judge Rose McGowan presiding.

01:51:50.000 How do you decide when a person has been punished enough, and what is the crime?

01:51:57.000 He's got some hilarious bits about it. 0.96

01:51:59.000 He goes, so the problem was, I like jerking off, and I don't like being alone. 0.93

01:52:04.000 He opens up with it. 0.72

01:52:07.000 And I don't want to do the rest of the material he does about it, but...

01:52:10.000 You know, he asked. 0.99

01:52:11.000 He asked, can I jerk off in front of you? 0.99

01:52:13.000 When they said yes, he did it. 0.99

01:52:14.000 It's not a good thing.

01:52:16.000 Nothing's good about any of it.

01:52:17.000 And he knows it, and I'm not defending him.

01:52:19.000 But people are portraying it as far worse than...

01:52:23.000 Like, he went up at Skank Fest in New York, and people went crazy and cheered, and I reposted the video of it. 0.99

01:52:29.000 And someone posted on Twitter, one of the rare times I looked, fuck you, Joe Rogan, he assaulted women. 0.99

01:52:37.000 I'm like, no, he didn't. 1.00

01:52:38.000 But he didn't.

01:52:39.000 You can't change what assault means. 0.99

01:52:41.000 He asked if he could jerk off in front of people, and then he did. 0.99

01:52:45.000 There's some question as to whether or not he jerked off on the phone with somebody. 0.99

01:52:48.000 I don't think that's assault either. 0.95

01:52:49.000 It's kind of creepy.

01:52:51.000 Not even kind of.

01:52:52.000 I'm sure he would say it's creepy.

01:52:54.000 But we're not talking about someone who assaulted people.

01:52:57.000 You can't just change the definitions of the word because it makes you feel better about hating someone.

01:53:02.000 Now, I also read, but I don't know if it's true, if his management, I think, threatened women who were going to talk about this or prevented someone's career from moving because of this.

01:53:16.000 If that happened, that to me is almost worse.

01:53:19.000 Yes.

01:53:20.000 That's really bad stuff.

01:53:22.000 I don't know if that's true.

01:53:24.000 And he's not allowed to talk to straighten that out.

01:53:28.000 Well, it's not that he's not allowed to talk.

01:53:30.000 Well, it would make it worse.

01:53:31.000 He's considered talking about it a few times, and I think he decides at the end of the day, it's just better to just keep pushing ahead.

01:53:38.000 Right. 0.94

01:53:38.000 And his new hour, apparently, I'm not advertising for it, but from everybody that I heard, it's fucking amazing. 0.94

01:53:45.000 Because all the pain, all the craziness, he apparently has a- Talk about new material. 0.71

01:53:50.000 Rocking new hour.

01:53:52.000 Talk about something to talk about.

01:53:54.000 Do you have to get out of here?

01:53:55.000 Because they said you've got two hours.

01:53:56.000 It's about 10. I do, because it's like a work night for me.

01:53:59.000 All right, well, wrap this bad boy up.

01:54:02.000 Tell people, when's the new season air?

01:54:05.000 Friday.

01:54:06.000 This Friday?

01:54:06.000 Yeah, the 17th of January.

01:54:09.000 Same bat time, same bat channel, HBO, at 10 Eastern. 0.99

01:54:15.000 And I guess you can figure out the other time zones from that.

01:54:19.000 And we're going to go back at it again.

01:54:23.000 Plenty to talk about.

01:54:24.000 Plenty to talk about, always.

01:54:28.000 Congratulations, by the way, on making this such a big stop and such an iconic place.

01:54:33.000 You did good.

01:54:33.000 Thank you.

01:54:34.000 Thank you. 0.98

01:54:34.000 I don't know what the fuck happened. 0.98

01:54:36.000 Stumbled into it. 0.99

01:54:37.000 Will you do my show?

01:54:38.000 Sure.

01:54:38.000 Okay, I asked you before and you were very squirrely about it.

01:54:41.000 There's so many people.

01:54:42.000 They're all talking over each other for sound bites.

01:54:45.000 You know, I heard you say that once when you were laughing at some guy doing a terrible impression of me.

01:54:50.000 And it's a very...

01:54:51.000 Kyle Kalinsky?

01:54:52.000 He does a great impression of you.

01:54:54.000 Yeah.

01:54:54.000 I didn't know who he was.

01:54:56.000 Have you ever seen the face swap version that he does of you on Instagram?

01:55:02.000 No.

01:55:03.000 Find that before we leave.

01:55:04.000 What's that?

01:55:05.000 Did I say Kalinske? 0.92

01:55:06.000 Sorry.

01:55:07.000 Sorry, Kyle.

01:55:07.000 We don't have to look at this.

01:55:09.000 I'm leaving.

01:55:10.000 It's amazing.

01:55:11.000 To you, it was amazing.

01:55:15.000 People have done me and I can laugh at it.

01:55:17.000 He's your face.

01:55:18.000 He's got your face and he's doing an impression of you.

01:55:21.000 You've never seen this?

01:55:22.000 I saw what...

01:55:23.000 Anyway...

01:55:24.000 Doesn't matter.

01:55:25.000 Yeah, it doesn't matter.

01:55:26.000 The point was...

01:55:27.000 What was the point?

01:55:29.000 The point was there's not too many people talking over each other on your show.

01:55:33.000 Correct.

01:55:33.000 It feels like it is to me.

01:55:34.000 It's very difficult to have a conversation when there's so many different people talking.

01:55:38.000 That's such a fundamental criticism of my show.

01:55:41.000 It's not your show.

01:55:42.000 It's just that format.

01:55:43.000 That's the size of the group of people.

01:55:46.000 I think you're thinking of Politically Incorrect was that way.

01:55:48.000 No, I'm thinking of your show right now.

01:55:50.000 Well, I'm there every week, and I monitor it pretty closely.

01:55:54.000 Of course, when you have a panel, which we do, there can be those moments, but we don't book that kind of person and that kind of show.

01:56:04.000 It's not the old, let's get them fighting thing.

01:56:07.000 We don't want that, and...

01:56:09.000 Honestly, the number of times when people have been shouting over each other and you can't hear them is very little.

01:56:15.000 It's not even that they're shouting over each other.

01:56:16.000 If you have a point and you want to talk about something, you've got to let it roll around inside your head.

01:56:22.000 But you would be the mid-show guest to my left and it would be a one-on-one.

01:56:28.000 You know, I do a one-on-one twice in the show.

01:56:33.000 Have you seen the show?

01:56:34.000 Yes.

01:56:35.000 Okay.

01:56:35.000 In the middle of the show, I bring out more of a celebrity, usually, to my left.

01:56:40.000 I watched the one where Sam Harris started going at it with Ben Affleck because of that.

01:56:44.000 Sam was your one-on-one.

01:56:46.000 That's right.

01:56:47.000 Okay.

01:56:48.000 Well, that's...

01:56:49.000 You know, you picked the one example...

01:56:51.000 Where somebody, that's what you were talking about?

01:56:53.000 I think he's seen one show.

01:56:54.000 No, I've seen several.

01:56:55.000 I saw the one with Milo.

01:56:57.000 I've seen Jordan Peterson.

01:56:58.000 I've seen many, many shows.

01:56:59.000 We've done over 500. When Hitchens went after...

01:57:02.000 I don't demand that anyone be a fan.

01:57:06.000 I just like Honesty.

01:57:07.000 One of my favorite ones was when Christopher Hitchens went after Mos Def. 0.58

01:57:10.000 Well, he's been dead for like 10 years.

01:57:12.000 So once again, we're establishing...

01:57:15.000 Your knowledge of this show is very limited.

01:57:18.000 I've watched a bunch of episodes.

01:57:20.000 You don't have to watch any.

01:57:21.000 I don't need you.

01:57:22.000 But I have.

01:57:23.000 I have lots of fans.

01:57:23.000 I don't need one more.

01:57:25.000 What I'm saying is I'd like you to do it because I think you'd be good and I like listening to you.

01:57:32.000 And you'd be to my left, one-on-one.

01:57:35.000 There would be nobody shouting over you because they wouldn't be involved.

01:57:38.000 Okay.

01:57:39.000 So you wouldn't have that problem.

01:57:41.000 So will you do it?

01:57:42.000 Yes.

01:57:42.000 Great.

01:57:43.000 Alright.

01:57:44.000 Talk to me anyway. 1.00

01:57:45.000 Shit. 1.00

01:57:45.000 And then we'll work on Hawaii. 1.00

01:57:46.000 Alright.

01:57:47.000 Bill Maher, ladies and gentlemen.

01:57:48.000 Thank you.

01:57:49.000 Appreciate you being here, man.

01:57:50.000 Yeah.

01:57:51.000 Real fun.

01:57:52.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - January 17, 2020

Joe Rogan Experience #1413 - Bill Maher

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript