The Joe Rogan Experience - May 01, 2020


Joe Rogan Experience #1468 - Alonzo Bodden

Topics
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Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Alonzo Bodden
Mentioned
Thor Tiger King Bruce Chris Biker Boys Ruth Chris Marvel Lawrence Fishburne Wonder Woman Iron Man Godzilla Hawkeye Jamie Mach Blair Witch Project Mark Ruffalo Jay London Hercules Gamera Torque Valentina Shevchenko and 92 more
Joe Rogan Experience #1467 - Jack Carr Joe Rogan Experience #1469 - Adam Perry Lang

Episode Stats


Length

3 hours and 7 minutes

Words per minute

186.2

Word count

34,903

Sentence count

4,298

Harmful content

Misogyny

92

sentences flagged

Toxicity

744

sentences flagged

Hate speech

49

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, the guys talk about the new Hulk movie and what it means for the future of the MCU. Also, we talk about how dumb the Hulk is in the movies and how he should be played by Mark Ruffalo instead of the other Hulk. We also talk about why the Hulk should be smart instead of dumb in movies and comic books. We also discuss the first time the Hulk met Thor in the first movie and how it changed the way he thinks and reacts to things. We finish the episode with some thoughts on the new Avengers movie Captain America: The Rise of the New Mutants and if the new movie will live up to the hype of the first one. Also, the boys talk about what they would like to see in the new Thor movie and why they don't think it should be the next Thor movie. They also give their thoughts on what they think of the new Black Widow movie and if it's going to be good or bad. And of course, they give their opinions on the Hulk and the new Iron Man movie Thor: Into the Spider-Verse and why it should or shouldn't it be the last movie in the series. Thanks for listening to this episode of the podcast! Cheers, Cheers! -The Cheers Crew! Joe and the Cheers. -Jon and the Crew! -Jon & the Crew -Your Hosts: and the crew at The Crew at The Cheers Podcast Jon & The Crew. Jon and the guys at The Jerrod and The Crew, Joe, the Crew at the Crew, the Jerrods, The Crew and The Jerrold, the Crew and the team at The Pizzazz, the crew, The Crew and The Guys at The Bower, and The Piggie, and the Pizzie, the Guys at the Bowery Pub, and all the rest. . Thank you for listening and supporting the podcast, and we hope you enjoy the podcast. Thank you so much for your support and support the podcast and the support you're all the way through it's progress and love you're going through this journey. , we appreciate it, thank you for all the love, love, support, and support you back and support us back and back and more! thank you, Thank you, bye bye, bye, and see ya back and bye.

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:01.000 Hello Alonzo Bowden.
00:00:02.000 Joe, I am negative.
00:00:04.000 I know, but you're positive.
00:00:05.000 You're a positive person.
00:00:07.000 I'm a positive person.
00:00:08.000 Life is good, but the test is negative.
00:00:10.000 Which, that's always what you want to hear after a medical test.
00:00:15.000 Yeah, basically.
00:00:16.000 The test is, I'm trying to think, is there any one where you want to hear the results were positive?
00:00:20.000 I think you always want to hear, yeah, this one came up negative.
00:00:24.000 Yeah, how come no diseases ever make us better?
00:00:26.000 There's not a disease that's like a Marvel comic book where you catch it.
00:00:31.000 Yeah, how come I can't get hit with gamma radiation?
00:00:34.000 Right, like look what happened to the Hulk and Spider-Man.
00:00:36.000 Every time I get mad at somebody, just Hulk out.
00:00:39.000 But you know, they never show like everyday things with the Hulk.
00:00:42.000 Like suppose he's in a car, right?
00:00:44.000 Now your car, the Hulk just grew, tore up your car.
00:00:47.000 Hello State Farm?
00:00:48.000 Yeah, you're not going to believe what just happened to my car.
00:00:51.000 Yeah, the concept of the Hulk that's on all the time annoys the shit out of me. 0.58
00:00:55.000 You know that he's the Hulk now, constantly, 24 hours a day?
00:00:58.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:00:58.000 And then he's smart?
00:00:59.000 Right, the intelligent Hulk.
00:01:01.000 Come on.
00:01:02.000 So he's Bruce Banner all the time.
00:01:04.000 He's Bruce Banner, but he's also the Hulk. 1.00
00:01:08.000 Fuck. 1.00
00:01:08.000 Fuck. 1.00
00:01:09.000 We were talking about reading, which is what I'm doing now. 1.00
00:01:11.000 And I got this book.
00:01:12.000 It's like 10 years of the Hulk.
00:01:15.000 It's like a thousand pages of Hulk comics.
00:01:18.000 A 10 year run.
00:01:20.000 And the story is, it's great.
00:01:22.000 It's the gray Hulk who was smart, but not like the movie one, but he was smarter than the regular one. 0.84
00:01:28.000 And he would only change at night like a vampire, like a werewolf.
00:01:33.000 Yeah, so it's like, hey, this is how much free time I have, Joe.
00:01:37.000 Well, I think the new Hulk, they probably missed Mark Ruffalo's acting.
00:01:42.000 He's such a good actor, and they didn't have enough room for him to just, I mean, there's so many people in that movie, right? 0.95
00:01:47.000 You got Captain America, you got all these fucking people, you got Iron Man. 0.96
00:01:51.000 They probably were like, Mark Ruffalo's just not talking enough. 0.98
00:01:54.000 Most of the time we need him as the Hulk.
00:01:56.000 So I got an idea.
00:01:57.000 Let's make him Mark Ruffalo the Hulk all the time.
00:02:00.000 The Hulk has glasses now. 1.00
00:02:02.000 He has fucking glasses. 1.00
00:02:03.000 He has glasses. 1.00
00:02:05.000 It's so ridiculous. 1.00
00:02:06.000 No, the whole idea, you fucks, is supposed to be that he's a really smart guy and then he's basically a monster. 1.00
00:02:13.000 A monster with unlimited strength, like unlimited power. 0.99
00:02:16.000 Who talks like Hulk smash. 0.99
00:02:17.000 He's not smart.
00:02:19.000 Right, like in the Thor movie where he's working as a fighter and he has like a room and he's taking baths and stuff like that.
00:02:27.000 What was that movie?
00:02:28.000 Ragnarok?
00:02:29.000 I didn't see that one.
00:02:30.000 You didn't see that one?
00:02:31.000 Yeah.
00:02:31.000 Where the Hulk is a fighter.
00:02:32.000 He's like a gladiator, but he's treated like a hero and he has all the gladiator stuff, you know, and it's like...
00:02:39.000 Yeah, the Hulk wouldn't be doing that.
00:02:41.000 Like, the Hulk would just be smashing and destroying.
00:02:43.000 Yeah, I need to watch that one.
00:02:45.000 Oh, see, I didn't see this movie. 0.99
00:02:47.000 Damn, that looks dope. 0.99
00:02:48.000 Oh, it's fun. 0.99
00:02:48.000 Yeah, that's one of the... 0.99
00:02:49.000 No, this is one of the funny ones, man.
00:02:51.000 You gotta see that one.
00:02:52.000 So the Hulk goes to battle, spoiler alert, with Thor?
00:02:55.000 Yeah, but the Hulk's like a gladiator and Thor ends up on the island and Thor ends up in the ring with him. 0.82
00:03:00.000 But it's dumb Hulk, right? 0.97
00:03:02.000 Dumb Hulk's good Hulk. 0.99
00:03:03.000 He's not fully dumb. 0.96
00:03:05.000 He's not scientist Hulk, but he's smart enough to hold conversations.
00:03:09.000 What a mismatch that would be if it was real. 0.98
00:03:12.000 Are you fucking kidding me, Thor? 0.98
00:03:14.000 Just relax. 0.99
00:03:17.000 How much Marvel were you into growing up?
00:03:20.000 Love did!
00:03:21.000 I didn't like DC that much, but I was a giant Marvel guy.
00:03:24.000 Because I was a big Marvel guy, and I tell people, one of the big things, and they brought it up in the first Avenger movie, and this was a storyline, I remember this, the Hulk could never fight Thor because they were both so strong they would destroy the planet.
00:03:38.000 Because the Hulk's strength was unlimited because the madder he got, the stronger he got.
00:03:44.000 And Thor's a god, which is something they never play in the movies, but in the comic books, every now and then, Thor would remind them, like, I'm a god.
00:03:52.000 I can destroy the whole planet.
00:03:54.000 My dad is the god. 0.95
00:03:57.000 But that's the problem. 0.99
00:03:58.000 If he's a god, then what the fuck is Captain Marvel? 0.99
00:04:01.000 Because that chick trumps everybody. 1.00
00:04:02.000 She comes down and everybody's got to sit the fuck down. 1.00
00:04:05.000 Mom's here. 0.99
00:04:06.000 Mom's here.
00:04:07.000 She's a superhero mom. 0.99
00:04:09.000 Captain Marvel's the number one superhero.
00:04:12.000 Yeah, she's the most powerful. 0.94
00:04:13.000 If you want to save the world, you call her.
00:04:15.000 In that last one, when Thor went to where he got the new axe made, that was like, he was like controlling a sun, right?
00:04:24.000 Wasn't it like the power of a sun was going...
00:04:26.000 You know, it's really...
00:04:28.000 And this is what I love, and this is why women laugh at us. 1.00
00:04:33.000 Because we're having this discussion.
00:04:34.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:04:36.000 But it's also what makes...
00:04:38.000 What is the really pretty girl's name? 1.00
00:04:43.000 Scarlett Johansson.
00:04:45.000 What is her character?
00:04:46.000 Black Widow. 1.00
00:04:47.000 But she just kicks ass, right? 1.00
00:04:49.000 She's just like a UFC girl. 1.00
00:04:50.000 She doesn't have any power. 0.99
00:04:50.000 Valentina Shevchenko hanging out with Iron Man. 0.99
00:04:53.000 Right?
00:04:54.000 That's what it's like.
00:04:55.000 Valentina Shevchenko's UFC strawweight champion.
00:04:57.000 That's what it's like.
00:04:59.000 And the other thing is, she has a gun, but no one they fight can be killed with bullets.
00:05:04.000 I'm sorry, she's a flyweight champion. 1.00
00:05:06.000 Yeah, no one can be killed with bullets.
00:05:08.000 And how about the dude, Jeremy Renner's character?
00:05:11.000 Right, Hawkeye.
00:05:12.000 He's got a bow and arrow. 0.99
00:05:13.000 That is ridiculous. 0.98
00:05:14.000 But he has a lot of special arrows. 0.99
00:05:16.000 But he doesn't even have a gun!
00:05:18.000 Yeah, at some point, like you're fighting aliens and you've got a bow and arrow.
00:05:23.000 It's like, man, you've skipped generations of weapons technology.
00:05:27.000 Yeah, and he seems to never run out of arrows.
00:05:29.000 It's amazing.
00:05:30.000 That's the superpower.
00:05:33.000 The imbalance of the superpower is so crazy. 0.99
00:05:36.000 You can have a guy with a bow and arrow or the fucking Hulk. 0.96
00:05:39.000 Hawkeye has no superhuman powers with the exception of the period when using prim particles to become Goliath. 0.99
00:05:47.000 Okay, whatever, dorks.
00:05:49.000 Okay. 0.93
00:05:49.000 He's at the very peak of human conditioning. 0.93
00:05:52.000 Sure he is.
00:05:53.000 He's an exceptional fencer, acrobat, and a grandmaster marksman having been trained from childhood in a circus by the criminals.
00:06:00.000 Trick shot and...
00:06:01.000 Oh, boy.
00:06:02.000 Well...
00:06:03.000 I'm a big Jeremy Renner fan.
00:06:04.000 I like that guy a lot.
00:06:05.000 However, we have to be realistic about superpowers. 0.99
00:06:08.000 You got the Hulk on one hand, you got Captain Marvel on another hand, and a dude who's like an acrobat who's good at shooting shit. 0.97
00:06:16.000 I think Hawkeye's limit is fighting crime. 0.95
00:06:19.000 Like criminals, Hawkeye could take down, but when superpowers and aliens and stuff come in, that's when you gotta make some phone calls.
00:06:28.000 Well, I just can't buy aliens coming at you and you're shooting them with a bow and arrow.
00:06:33.000 No.
00:06:34.000 They came here from another planet, you shot with a bow and arrow?
00:06:36.000 Come on.
00:06:37.000 Come on.
00:06:39.000 Yeah.
00:06:39.000 Well, who else?
00:06:40.000 Well, Captain America, he's just really strong.
00:06:44.000 Yeah, but superhuman.
00:06:45.000 Yeah, superhuman strength.
00:06:47.000 He's part of an experiment.
00:06:48.000 Right.
00:06:49.000 But he's like bulletproof, isn't he?
00:06:50.000 No.
00:06:51.000 No?
00:06:51.000 No, he can be hurt.
00:06:52.000 But he heals really quick or something?
00:06:53.000 No, he can be hurt.
00:06:54.000 But doesn't he heal real quick?
00:06:56.000 No.
00:06:57.000 What's his name?
00:06:58.000 Wolverine.
00:06:58.000 Wolverine heals instantly.
00:07:00.000 I thought Captain America had one of them jammies too.
00:07:03.000 Not like, I don't think like Wolverine.
00:07:05.000 He probably heals quicker or could take more pain or something than most.
00:07:09.000 Captain America has agility, strength, speed, endurance, and reaction time superior to any Olympic athlete who ever competed.
00:07:20.000 LOL. The super soldier formula that he has metabolized has enhanced all of his bodily functions to the peak of human efficiency.
00:07:27.000 Oh, he ain't shit. 1.00
00:07:28.000 Iron Man can fuck him up. 1.00
00:07:30.000 Just peak bodily functions, but that's it. 1.00
00:07:33.000 Right, you can't fuck with Iron Man with that bullshit-ass set of skills. 1.00
00:07:36.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:07:36.000 You're just a really strong dude. 1.00
00:07:40.000 But in the movie, he's not.
00:07:41.000 In that movie, he's way stronger than any person who's ever lived.
00:07:45.000 Way stronger.
00:07:45.000 And he's also the leader.
00:07:46.000 He's the military strategy guy, I guess.
00:07:49.000 He's the most sculpted.
00:07:51.000 Look at that face.
00:07:52.000 Iron Man tells you who he is.
00:07:54.000 Billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, genius. 1.00
00:07:56.000 But all of them can eat shit. 1.00
00:07:58.000 I want the Hulk. 1.00
00:07:59.000 I want the Hulk to come out.
00:08:01.000 I'm going to go Hulk or Thor.
00:08:04.000 Those would be my two in a fight.
00:08:06.000 Interesting. 0.99
00:08:07.000 Captain Marvel comes down and fucks them all up. 0.99
00:08:10.000 She's badass. 1.00
00:08:11.000 They gave her too many powers. 0.87
00:08:13.000 She's badass. 1.00
00:08:13.000 She almost has too many powers. 1.00
00:08:14.000 They gave her everything except a good movie.
00:08:16.000 That's true. 0.99
00:08:17.000 They keep fucking her in the movie department. 1.00
00:08:19.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:08:19.000 Why? 0.99
00:08:20.000 Her movie was... 1.00
00:08:22.000 It filled the story so you knew who she was, but it wasn't that great.
00:08:29.000 It didn't match up with someone who has the powers that she has.
00:08:32.000 Look, if you're playing a game, and the game is the good guys versus the bad guys, on your good guy side, you'd be real pumped if one person had way more power than anybody who's ever lived.
00:08:43.000 That's her. 0.88
00:08:43.000 Right. 0.88
00:08:44.000 Or you'd wait to play that card.
00:08:47.000 You'd let people know, don't let me have to pull Captain Marvel.
00:08:51.000 Don't let me have to wake her up.
00:08:54.000 Because if she comes down here... 1.00
00:08:55.000 Everybody's fucked. 1.00
00:08:57.000 But here's the thing, they can't figure out a way to make a good movie with that? 1.00
00:09:02.000 I don't know.
00:09:03.000 I mean, again, the movie was alright, but it wasn't...
00:09:08.000 It wasn't great.
00:09:09.000 It didn't show...
00:09:10.000 She would have to have a boyfriend.
00:09:11.000 Who she is.
00:09:12.000 That's why.
00:09:12.000 She'd have to have a boyfriend.
00:09:13.000 Remember when Wonder Woman?
00:09:14.000 Wonder Woman had a boyfriend.
00:09:15.000 Yeah.
00:09:16.000 People liked it better. 1.00
00:09:17.000 Some regular soldier got to fuck Wonder Woman. 1.00
00:09:19.000 Right. 1.00
00:09:20.000 Remember?
00:09:21.000 And you know what?
00:09:22.000 No one would believe you. 0.62
00:09:24.000 Yeah, you'd have to shut up about that.
00:09:25.000 But, yeah, I'm sure. 0.99
00:09:28.000 Man, I'm fucking Wonder Woman. 1.00
00:09:29.000 You can keep your mouth shut. 1.00
00:09:29.000 No, you're not. 1.00
00:09:31.000 Yeah.
00:09:32.000 I'm looking up Captain Marvel's powers and a little question popped up.
00:09:35.000 Who is the strongest Marvel hero?
00:09:37.000 Yeah.
00:09:37.000 Do you know?
00:09:38.000 The strongest?
00:09:41.000 Would he be Captain Marvel or Thor?
00:09:45.000 I thought it would be Thor or Hulk.
00:09:46.000 It says also in the Destroyer, which I've never heard of, but it says Hercules, and I didn't know Hercules was in there.
00:09:53.000 Hercules was in like a few comic books, but he's not.
00:09:57.000 Hercules ain't considered part of the Marvel Universe, right?
00:10:02.000 No!
00:10:03.000 Stan Lee didn't create Hercules.
00:10:05.000 Exactly.
00:10:06.000 Yeah, you're not allowed to do that.
00:10:08.000 By the way, why would you have Hercules in a comic book?
00:10:11.000 That's such a cheap move.
00:10:12.000 I do vaguely remember Hercules being in some Marvel comics, but nah, I don't think he counts.
00:10:19.000 They didn't create him.
00:10:20.000 You got lucky with Thor.
00:10:21.000 Leave it at that.
00:10:23.000 You stole one god.
00:10:24.000 You can't steal any other mythical characters.
00:10:26.000 Right.
00:10:27.000 And it was cool with Thor because in the comic books he was human too, right?
00:10:31.000 He had like a human form and then he would turn into Thor.
00:10:34.000 Did he?
00:10:35.000 Yeah.
00:10:35.000 In the comic books he had a human form.
00:10:37.000 I don't remember that.
00:10:39.000 But, you know, you would think that someone else could make a Thor movie.
00:10:42.000 Like, why can't they make a Thor movie?
00:10:45.000 Like an origin movie about Thor the God.
00:10:47.000 Can you do that?
00:10:48.000 They might.
00:10:49.000 But no one's ever done that.
00:10:50.000 Isn't that amazing?
00:10:51.000 They haven't done it yet.
00:10:52.000 But who knows?
00:10:53.000 They've had some movies where people pretend they're in the clouds and they pretend they're gods.
00:11:00.000 There's been some God movies, right?
00:11:02.000 Wasn't there a Brad Pitt one?
00:11:05.000 Wasn't there a Brad Pitt one when they were the gods?
00:11:08.000 Like Achilles or something like that?
00:11:12.000 Wasn't there something?
00:11:13.000 Am I imagining this?
00:11:14.000 I believe there was a movie where a bunch of people...
00:11:17.000 Troy.
00:11:18.000 Troy.
00:11:18.000 Yeah, Troy.
00:11:19.000 And then they had those...
00:11:21.000 What were they called?
00:11:22.000 Titans or something?
00:11:23.000 They did a couple of movies where they were gods.
00:11:27.000 I think Liam Neeson was in it.
00:11:29.000 And they were playing with humans.
00:11:31.000 Humans were like their entertainment.
00:11:33.000 Yes, yes.
00:11:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:36.000 They've had Clash of the Titans also.
00:11:38.000 Titans, yeah.
00:11:38.000 Maybe it was that.
00:11:39.000 Clash of the Titans, they did a couple of those, right?
00:11:42.000 The one that's from way, way back in the day is hilarious to watch now.
00:11:48.000 Oh, anything with special effects from back in the day.
00:11:51.000 You know what still holds up, though?
00:11:54.000 Godzilla.
00:11:55.000 It does.
00:11:55.000 It's kind of fun, right?
00:11:56.000 The old Godzilla movies, like Godzilla was, like, he's still badass, you know?
00:12:01.000 There was just something about Godzilla that it was, that, yeah, he holds up.
00:12:06.000 His old movies are good, and the new Godzilla's good.
00:12:10.000 Well, they figured out how to make those Godzilla movies.
00:12:12.000 Like, when we were doing stop-motion animation, they were like, hmm, why don't you just have a dude in a Godzilla suit?
00:12:20.000 And then they just...
00:12:21.000 And then make everything else smaller.
00:12:22.000 Yeah.
00:12:23.000 They just had, like, a little New York or a little Tokyo and this dude in a Godzilla suit running around.
00:12:27.000 It's actually for the time...
00:12:29.000 Like really good special effects.
00:12:31.000 Oh yeah, yeah.
00:12:32.000 Yeah, Godzilla movies were great.
00:12:35.000 And he fought and they would just come up with all these different monsters for him to fight.
00:12:40.000 Yes, Mothra. 1.00
00:12:42.000 Giant moths and shit. 1.00
00:12:44.000 Gamera, remember Gamera? 1.00
00:12:45.000 Gamera.
00:12:46.000 That was the one that spun around.
00:12:47.000 That was like the turtle that spun around.
00:12:49.000 Yeah, a spinning turtle that shot rays out of his legs.
00:12:52.000 Yeah.
00:12:53.000 Yeah, those were so weird.
00:12:54.000 Man, you know what those were?
00:12:55.000 Those were good drugs, Joe.
00:12:56.000 You can't get those drugs now where you just sit around and say, man, what if we had a spinning turtle?
00:13:02.000 Those things would be on, like, Saturday afternoon, right?
00:13:05.000 Yeah, every week.
00:13:05.000 You'd have to get out and watch them on Saturday.
00:13:06.000 Every week, there was, like, destroy all monsters.
00:13:10.000 It was some kind of monster thing.
00:13:12.000 Yeah.
00:13:13.000 Oh, this, is this the old one?
00:13:16.000 No.
00:13:17.000 Wow, that looks great.
00:13:20.000 Yeah.
00:13:21.000 Look at them.
00:13:22.000 Those special effects. 0.98
00:13:24.000 Actually, pretty fucking good special effects. 0.98
00:13:27.000 Especially, I mean, if you wanted to see a movie today that was like that, you'd be mad. 0.97
00:13:31.000 Like, you can't believe how fake they made it look.
00:13:33.000 But back then, this was awesome.
00:13:36.000 Look at that, blowing up those buildings.
00:13:38.000 Why are you laughing, Jamie? 0.90
00:13:40.000 They're miniatures and silly, but it zooms in on his face.
00:13:44.000 It looks awesome.
00:13:46.000 It's like looking at the first Star Wars now.
00:13:49.000 Like when you look at the first Star Wars now, you're like, oh, come on.
00:13:53.000 But back then it was like...
00:13:54.000 Man, this is badass.
00:13:55.000 I know, it's terrible.
00:13:56.000 The first Star Wars is terrible.
00:13:59.000 The special effects, at least.
00:14:01.000 It just looks so fake.
00:14:02.000 Even the cantina scene, where they went in there and all the monsters, you could tell that the guy's wearing a mask.
00:14:09.000 His face is frozen open.
00:14:13.000 Yeah, man.
00:14:14.000 They did what they could back then.
00:14:15.000 Yeah.
00:14:16.000 I mean, it's technology, right?
00:14:18.000 Yeah.
00:14:19.000 The other day they were doing all the Jurassic Park movies, and we were talking about when the first Jurassic Park, like when the first dinosaur came out, that was badass.
00:14:31.000 It was like, wow, that looks like a dinosaur.
00:14:34.000 And they had expressions and all of that.
00:14:38.000 That was...
00:14:40.000 Yeah.
00:14:40.000 The first Jurassic Park when those kids were in that truck and the T-Rex comes over the top.
00:14:45.000 Holy shit, was that awesome. 0.52
00:14:47.000 That's one of the greatest scenes in any movie I've ever seen ever. 0.99
00:14:49.000 When he looks in the truck and he blinks.
00:14:51.000 Yes.
00:14:52.000 You know?
00:14:52.000 Yeah.
00:14:53.000 Well, when they realize that the goat is missing, that they had that goat tied up and they realize the goat is missing, and then they hear the...
00:15:01.000 You hear that?
00:15:03.000 Although, and you know, I hate to be this guy, but we do it at late.
00:15:08.000 You ever watch movies and just, like, you pull out the holes in the logic?
00:15:12.000 Yes.
00:15:13.000 What's the holes in the logic?
00:15:14.000 The two kids would not be with the lawyer.
00:15:17.000 Yeah, true.
00:15:18.000 The little boy...
00:15:21.000 Loved dinosaurs, and he knew who the dinosaur scientist was.
00:15:25.000 He'd have been in that van.
00:15:27.000 No way the two kids would have been with the lawyer.
00:15:30.000 At least one of them would have been with a scientist.
00:15:33.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:15:35.000 Were there parents in that movie?
00:15:36.000 No, they were with their grandfather.
00:15:38.000 And was their grandfather the main scientist dude?
00:15:40.000 No, their grandfather was the old guy who owned Jurassic Park.
00:15:44.000 Right, the old guy who looked like Colonel Sanders.
00:15:46.000 Right, right.
00:15:46.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:48.000 So it's like, if your grandfather created this park and he hired this scientist, you're like, I'm hanging out with the scientist.
00:15:54.000 Even though he didn't like kids, it'd be like, my grandfather said that I can ride with you.
00:16:00.000 And Jeff Goldblum was the sexy scientist.
00:16:03.000 Yeah.
00:16:03.000 Goldblum was great in all of them.
00:16:05.000 He was amazing.
00:16:05.000 He was just that great character that...
00:16:08.000 Yeah, you bought it.
00:16:09.000 Yeah.
00:16:09.000 Especially the first one.
00:16:10.000 Yeah.
00:16:11.000 I love that.
00:16:12.000 Drive faster.
00:16:13.000 No, no.
00:16:13.000 Must drive faster.
00:16:15.000 Yeah.
00:16:16.000 The first one, when, yeah, he had some great points, you know, about why'd you do this.
00:16:23.000 It was just like, you bought him.
00:16:25.000 Right.
00:16:25.000 You bought his science.
00:16:27.000 His science made sense. 1.00
00:16:28.000 Well, you could tell he's fucking smart as shit. 1.00
00:16:31.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:16:32.000 You know? 0.99
00:16:32.000 So, like, when he's playing a guy who's smart as shit, you're like, all right, I buy it. 0.99
00:16:36.000 Although that is one situation. 0.99
00:16:38.000 When a T-Rex is chasing you, that is one of those situations where I don't have to be faster than a T-Rex, I just got to be faster than you.
00:16:45.000 That's not true, because a T-Rex would eat you so quick.
00:16:49.000 Yeah, there's the goat leg falls down.
00:16:52.000 The dinosaurs only have a total of 14 minutes of screen time.
00:16:56.000 Perfect!
00:16:57.000 Well, that's like an American werewolf in London.
00:17:00.000 One of the reasons why that movie is so good is you barely see the werewolf.
00:17:03.000 When you do see it, it's amazing, but you barely see it.
00:17:06.000 But you're aware of it.
00:17:07.000 You see it for flashes.
00:17:07.000 You're terrified of it.
00:17:09.000 I had Rick Baker in here.
00:17:11.000 He's the guy who did American Werewolf in London.
00:17:13.000 He actually did Star Wars, too.
00:17:14.000 And he's saying that that cantina scene, that cantina scene they did, they threw that together on like a shoestring budget. 0.93
00:17:19.000 He just put a bunch of masks he had laying around his studio and put them on people and dress people up and shit.
00:17:25.000 But when he did American Werewolf in London, this was like... 0.92
00:17:31.000 Like a crazy operation where they had hands.
00:17:34.000 They had fake hands that stretched out. 0.98
00:17:37.000 They would put stop motion of skin where hair is coming through the skin.
00:17:42.000 Yeah, because the face would extend.
00:17:44.000 There was that scene where his jaw would...
00:17:46.000 Yeah.
00:17:48.000 I guess they had to do that.
00:17:49.000 I forget how he said they did the hair.
00:17:51.000 I forget how he said they did the hair.
00:17:53.000 Did they do it in reverse?
00:17:54.000 They pull it through or something?
00:17:57.000 There's only like that one quick scene where you see it, right?
00:18:00.000 I think that was the one scene you said it went through.
00:18:02.000 I forget. 0.99
00:18:02.000 He explained how they did the hair, where the hair was coming out of his skin and his back and shit. 0.99
00:18:06.000 I think it took a long ass time though. 0.99
00:18:09.000 Yeah.
00:18:09.000 But you only see the whole transition is pretty quick.
00:18:12.000 And then you only see the werewolf for like split seconds.
00:18:16.000 You don't see it very often.
00:18:17.000 That's great, because you know when they're doing it, they're like, we don't know how, like in our mind, we see it, but we don't know how this is going to work.
00:18:25.000 And then you have to, like you were talking about the artist who did it.
00:18:30.000 He has to make that happen.
00:18:32.000 So the director's like, this is what I want.
00:18:35.000 And then you have to figure out how to make that happen.
00:18:38.000 So that when he sees it on film, he's like, yeah.
00:18:41.000 But if you nail it, then it's amazing.
00:18:45.000 But if you do it wrong, then it's like, oh man, look at this cheesy.
00:18:48.000 Or you gotta do it over again.
00:18:49.000 But there's something about things you only see in the dark.
00:18:52.000 It makes it better than seeing it CGI, obviously CGI, really bright.
00:18:58.000 That doesn't scare you.
00:18:59.000 Like Alien, the movie Alien, scared the fuck out of you.
00:19:02.000 You barely saw it.
00:19:04.000 Most of the movie, you barely saw it.
00:19:05.000 Because then it's your imagination.
00:19:06.000 Yeah.
00:19:06.000 And you're the...
00:19:08.000 And that's the thing, with the script and everything else, the anticipation of it, or the awareness of it, but where is it?
00:19:15.000 Versus a slasher movie where it's just, I'm just coming through and chopping up people.
00:19:20.000 Or versus the new Godzilla, which although it might be fun, it's so clearly CGI. You don't have a visceral reaction.
00:19:28.000 If you see a werewolf in an alleyway, if a guy drops his briefcase and looks up and he sees a werewolf in the alleyway for a split second, You're like, Jesus!
00:19:38.000 And then it's over.
00:19:40.000 There's a scene in American Werewolf in London where you literally see the werewolf for fractions of a second.
00:19:46.000 It's one of the best scenes in the movie, where there's a guy in the subway, this businessman, and he sees it, and you're looking at it like the werewolf.
00:19:54.000 He's like, oh my god, and he starts running, and you see this guy running away, and he's freaking the fuck out.
00:19:59.000 He's almost having a heart attack, and he gets on the escalator, and he drops his briefcase, and he looks down.
00:20:05.000 And just for a split second, you see the werewolf's body move into frame, and then it shuts off, and that's the whole scene.
00:20:11.000 It's one of the best scenes in the movie.
00:20:13.000 Yeah, it's scary.
00:20:13.000 It's one of the best scenes in the movie.
00:20:14.000 Everything's dark and mysterious.
00:20:16.000 When you get real clear, and it's obviously CGI, it doesn't scare you.
00:20:21.000 Right.
00:20:22.000 We're also so jaded.
00:20:24.000 We're so jaded now that it's like after this, how many movies are there going to be about us?
00:20:32.000 Quarantine, something happened in the quarantine, this or that.
00:20:37.000 It takes more to scare people now.
00:20:41.000 You've got to be creative.
00:20:43.000 It's a transitionary point for us.
00:20:46.000 And it's kind of interesting that the thing that caught on the quickest when it all went down was Tiger King.
00:20:51.000 Oh, yeah. 0.98
00:20:52.000 That everybody was like, this is the perfect show for a fucked up, quarantined world. 0.98
00:20:58.000 I have two theories about Tiger King. 0.99
00:21:00.000 It's like, either you watch Tiger King and you feel better about yourself. 0.99
00:21:05.000 You're just like, man, this guy, that's fucked up. 0.99
00:21:08.000 I'm not, you know, thank God. 0.99
00:21:09.000 Or you're watching Tiger King and you're like, yeah, that's about where we at.
00:21:15.000 That's about where we are.
00:21:16.000 You kind of don't totally hate him.
00:21:19.000 You don't totally hate Joe Exotic.
00:21:21.000 You get it.
00:21:21.000 I get it.
00:21:23.000 I mean, what he did, he was P.T. Barnum.
00:21:28.000 Yes.
00:21:29.000 He could have been P.T. Barnum if he could have grown his idea.
00:21:35.000 But that idea of...
00:21:38.000 I'm just going to keep bullshitting people and just reinventing myself and showing them this.
00:21:43.000 And people went for it.
00:21:45.000 Yeah.
00:21:46.000 It just wants attention so bad.
00:21:48.000 Yeah.
00:21:50.000 But that whole thing, yeah, definitely a phenomenon.
00:21:53.000 I would love to see, like, what people, because it was worldwide, what people in other countries, I would like to get their opinion of Tiger King.
00:22:03.000 Because they've never seen, you know, a lot of countries, they've never seen anything like that.
00:22:06.000 You know what I mean?
00:22:07.000 Like, in the United States, like, especially if you've traveled the Midwest, or if you've been to one of those, you ever go to, like, the low-budget circuses?
00:22:14.000 You know, not the big ones, but the ones that, like, set up in a...
00:22:19.000 Yeah.
00:22:20.000 Like, we've seen that.
00:22:22.000 But people who have no idea of that, I wonder what their opinion would be.
00:22:28.000 There was one that was near my house, and I took a picture of one of the... 0.76
00:22:32.000 One of the rollercoaster rides they had set up, and I put it on my Instagram page, because it was this janky-ass, fucked-up rollercoaster that was on stacks of 2x4s. 0.97
00:22:42.000 Stacks! 1.00
00:22:42.000 And I was like, who the fuck? 1.00
00:22:46.000 The guy operating it, he built it. 1.00
00:22:50.000 I'm here with my friends, and everybody's got their kids.
00:22:53.000 Look at that. 1.00
00:22:53.000 Look at that shit. 1.00
00:22:54.000 Look at those stacks. 1.00
00:22:55.000 That's to level it off.
00:22:57.000 So that thing spins around in a circle while it's on these movable stacks of wood. 0.96
00:23:03.000 God forbid a fucking earthquake hits or something, that thing's gonna go flipping sideways and flying off. 0.95
00:23:09.000 I mean, the fact they let them do that in a park, that is crazy. 0.99
00:23:13.000 Look at that.
00:23:14.000 And you just take your kid and you just throw him on there.
00:23:17.000 Yeah.
00:23:17.000 Go ahead, kid.
00:23:18.000 Have fun.
00:23:18.000 Go ahead, kid.
00:23:19.000 You'll be fine.
00:23:19.000 What could go wrong?
00:23:20.000 Nothing.
00:23:21.000 Yeah, I mean, nothing's going wrong right now.
00:23:23.000 And look at that one.
00:23:25.000 That one's over.
00:23:25.000 They did it.
00:23:26.000 They did the ride.
00:23:26.000 Come on.
00:23:26.000 Get on.
00:23:27.000 Yeah.
00:23:27.000 And then, well, you know, it's like people were going there to the Tiger King thing and like, yeah, I want my picture taken with a tiger.
00:23:34.000 You know what's also interesting?
00:23:35.000 I trust you.
00:23:36.000 How quickly people got tired of Tiger King.
00:23:39.000 Right now, even though we're talking about it, people are like, still.
00:23:43.000 In and out, like that.
00:23:44.000 But that's about how something goes.
00:23:47.000 And the thing about it is when they were doing it, even when Netflix threw it out there, because I saw it like the first weekend, because in my news feed it came up and I was like, what the hell is this?
00:23:58.000 And I started, five minutes into it, I'm like, I gotta see this, right?
00:24:02.000 So I just watched the whole thing, but now they had no idea it was going to be that big a hit.
00:24:09.000 And now they're like, okay, what next?
00:24:11.000 You know what I mean?
00:24:11.000 It's one of those things you couldn't predict Tiger King would be a hit.
00:24:15.000 Oh yeah, no way.
00:24:17.000 You'd think it'd be weird.
00:24:18.000 The marketing or whatever people are like, What else?
00:24:23.000 What can you do?
00:24:24.000 Those are the ones you can't create that.
00:24:26.000 No.
00:24:26.000 They caught lightning in a bottle.
00:24:28.000 It was the perfect time.
00:24:29.000 Because they just happened to be there with the bottle right when the pandemic hit.
00:24:32.000 And it was like, what?
00:24:33.000 And then people would just send texts to their friends. 0.99
00:24:35.000 You gotta fucking watch this. 0.99
00:24:36.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:24:37.000 Because everybody's at home looking for shit to watch. 1.00
00:24:38.000 Everybody's at home. 0.99
00:24:39.000 And it was like, it wasn't a series.
00:24:41.000 It wasn't part of something else.
00:24:44.000 It was like, it stood alone as absolute insanity.
00:24:48.000 And fascinating.
00:24:49.000 Yeah.
00:24:50.000 You know?
00:24:51.000 And it wasn't like a big marketing push.
00:24:53.000 No.
00:24:53.000 Didn't have to.
00:24:55.000 Because again, once you watched it, I mean, you know, the guy with no legs was the most reasonable guy on the show.
00:25:03.000 The most reasonable by far!
00:25:05.000 He made the most sense.
00:25:07.000 He seemed like a regular guy.
00:25:09.000 Yeah.
00:25:09.000 That poor guy.
00:25:10.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:25:10.000 Caught up in the middle of all that shit. 1.00
00:25:12.000 Right. 1.00
00:25:12.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:25:13.000 Whereas in any other circumstance, you'd be like, how'd you lose your legs?
00:25:17.000 On that show, didn't even come up.
00:25:18.000 Like, no, we're good.
00:25:19.000 You're fine.
00:25:20.000 When the one dude is sitting there, the guy that wants to be the campaign manager, he's sitting there talking to Exotic Joe's boyfriend when Exotic Joe's boyfriend blows his brains out.
00:25:29.000 Right. 0.99
00:25:29.000 And you're like, what in the fuck is this? 0.99
00:25:32.000 You see the guy reacting like, oh my god. 0.99
00:25:35.000 Like, in the moment.
00:25:36.000 That'd be like you and me talking and one of us is playing with a gun. 1.00
00:25:40.000 And just shoots ourselves in the ass. 1.00
00:25:42.000 And then just blows your brains out. 1.00
00:25:44.000 Goddamn. 1.00
00:25:44.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:25:45.000 Goddamn people are crazy. 1.00
00:25:47.000 What? 1.00
00:25:49.000 But again, what else are you going to do?
00:25:51.000 So Tiger King killed some time, and then the aftermath of Tiger King killed some more time, but then we still got like six more weeks.
00:25:59.000 So what do we do now?
00:26:00.000 I think we're supposed to be May 15th, right?
00:26:02.000 May 15th is going to end.
00:26:04.000 Yeah, I think that's the latest projected date.
00:26:06.000 But the governor just stopped people from going to the parks and beaches.
00:26:11.000 That was a new thing today.
00:26:13.000 Yeah, I think...
00:26:14.000 You know what it is?
00:26:15.000 This is my theory.
00:26:16.000 We can't have nice things.
00:26:19.000 Whenever they give us something nice, we don't know.
00:26:21.000 You know, like a little kid giving something nice and they break it.
00:26:23.000 So it's like, okay, we're going to let you go to the beach.
00:26:25.000 It's like, no, you're not supposed to be playing volleyball and laying... 0.94
00:26:29.000 You're supposed to keep moving, right?
00:26:31.000 You're supposed to walk or ride a bike or go surf or this and that.
00:26:35.000 But you weren't supposed to just...
00:26:36.000 Mingle.
00:26:37.000 Gathering groups.
00:26:38.000 And of course...
00:26:39.000 We're gathering groups.
00:26:40.000 We're partying.
00:26:41.000 They're like, all right, no, you can't.
00:26:42.000 You don't know how to behave.
00:26:43.000 Yeah, they had specific rules.
00:26:44.000 Like, you weren't allowed to stay put.
00:26:46.000 Like, you couldn't lean on things.
00:26:47.000 Couldn't sit down.
00:26:48.000 Right.
00:26:49.000 But you could go walk around.
00:26:51.000 I was riding.
00:26:51.000 I rode my motorcycle along PCH. And you would see people, they'd park their car along PCH, right?
00:26:59.000 And they'd sit on the car and kind of like look at the beach and stuff like that.
00:27:04.000 So I guess each one of them had a car's distance between them because you're sitting on your car, the next person's sitting on their car.
00:27:12.000 But then I passed this Neptune's Net, which is like a big motorcycle hangout.
00:27:19.000 And there were maybe 20 bikes in a row parked.
00:27:23.000 And the guys were all just kind of hanging out.
00:27:25.000 And it was like, no, man, you can't do that.
00:27:29.000 You know what I mean?
00:27:29.000 Like a motorcycle is the ultimate social distancing vehicle, right?
00:27:33.000 You're by yourself.
00:27:34.000 You're wearing a jacket, gloves, a helmet.
00:27:36.000 You're not breathing on anybody.
00:27:38.000 But when you stop, you can't just all hang out like normal, you know?
00:27:43.000 And that was the part that...
00:27:46.000 That I think that that's where they're like, no, we're not going to do it.
00:27:49.000 Because I think, you know, this Georgia and Florida, whatever, it's like they're like the experiment, man.
00:27:55.000 They're like, all right, yeah, let's let them get out and then let's wait two weeks and see what happens.
00:28:00.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:28:01.000 You know, it's exactly what it's like.
00:28:03.000 It's a weird disease, man.
00:28:05.000 You know, I was just having a conversation about it earlier today.
00:28:08.000 It's like it seems like it's more than one different thing.
00:28:12.000 It seems like for some people, it's nothing.
00:28:15.000 They shake it off.
00:28:16.000 Some people, even a lot of people, more than half apparently, asymptomatic.
00:28:20.000 Yeah.
00:28:21.000 They don't feel it at all.
00:28:22.000 And that's the scariest part, right?
00:28:23.000 Because you're asymptomatic and you're carrying it. 1.00
00:28:26.000 And then for some people it's a death sentence.
00:28:28.000 Most recently I was reading about strokes.
00:28:31.000 Yes, and heart attacks.
00:28:33.000 About people having strokes.
00:28:34.000 Like it's causing blood clots.
00:28:36.000 Yeah.
00:28:36.000 And this was something that they just realized.
00:28:38.000 Like, whoa, you know.
00:28:39.000 One doctor was apparently operating on this one guy who was a fairly young guy who had a stroke.
00:28:44.000 And he said you could see on the machine.
00:28:46.000 I read that.
00:28:47.000 Yeah, that new clots were forming in real time.
00:28:50.000 You could see clots forming while he's doing it.
00:28:51.000 This is crazy.
00:28:52.000 Yeah.
00:28:53.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:28:53.000 It's a fucking creepy disease. 1.00
00:28:55.000 And you know what? 0.99
00:28:56.000 And we were talking about this earlier, that's the doctor I want to listen to.
00:29:00.000 You know what I mean?
00:29:01.000 Like, yeah, give me a guy who's so smart that he's working on blood clots and watching them form and explaining.
00:29:08.000 Because part of the problem, the advice we get, there's so many, it's such a wide range.
00:29:15.000 And like, so if you're talking to me, I want to see doctor in front of your name.
00:29:20.000 And I want to know you do like, oh, I work on the brains of people who have strokes.
00:29:25.000 Like, yeah, tell me more.
00:29:27.000 You know what you're talking about.
00:29:28.000 Don't say doctor if you're a chiropractor either.
00:29:29.000 You got to stop doing that.
00:29:31.000 Stop.
00:29:32.000 You're a chiropractor, that's great.
00:29:33.000 People like going to chiropractor, that's great.
00:29:34.000 You're not a doctor.
00:29:35.000 You got to stop saying you're a doctor.
00:29:37.000 I have a friend, he's an emergency room doctor.
00:29:41.000 And I'll listen to him.
00:29:44.000 You're a neurologist?
00:29:46.000 You tell me what's going on because he knows.
00:29:49.000 He's getting all kind of information and he's literally on the front line.
00:29:55.000 He was funny.
00:29:56.000 He said, man, they better not send me anyone who shot up bleach.
00:30:01.000 He was like, don't even waste my time.
00:30:05.000 Someone must have...
00:30:06.000 It was just funny the way he said it, because he really is that guy.
00:30:10.000 He's like, I'll save lives.
00:30:11.000 Like, he's a doctor.
00:30:13.000 He cares.
00:30:14.000 But on this one, he's like, man, you better just don't even waste my time. 0.99
00:30:19.000 When you heard about that, you had to think this has got to be like a fucking movie. 0.99
00:30:22.000 This is almost like a movie. 0.99
00:30:25.000 If it wasn't real, it would be hilarious.
00:30:30.000 And then the other thing is the fact that Lysol had to put out a thing not for internal use. 0.97
00:30:38.000 The idea that they know there are people so dumb that they're like, we better tell them not to do this. 0.78
00:30:44.000 There's got to be a few that thought about it. 0.99
00:30:46.000 There has to be a few that thought about it.
00:30:47.000 There was a thing that I tweeted.
00:30:49.000 I pulled it down when someone, Tim Pool, one of my guests, told me it was fake.
00:30:53.000 They were saying that they got way more calls because of poisoning from Lysol and disinfectants after Trump said that.
00:31:02.000 But apparently the real truth is there's way more people using that stuff around the house because they're scared and they're cleaning everything up and they've been coming in for a long time.
00:31:12.000 It's not like it happened right after Trump said that.
00:31:15.000 It was actually happening right after the lockdown.
00:31:18.000 Yeah, what I read, it wasn't more people doing it, but they were calling to see, like, hey, what would happen if...
00:31:25.000 But this one is weird, and I was just reading about this.
00:31:30.000 There has been an increase in kids drinking hand sanitizer.
00:31:35.000 And they told the hand sanitizer people, stop making it smell good.
00:31:41.000 Because kids, you know, it's like this sweet smelling.
00:31:44.000 And my only question is, where the hell are the kids getting it?
00:31:47.000 Because I can't find any.
00:31:50.000 Where are you getting this hand sanitizer you're drinking?
00:31:52.000 But they said, all kidding aside, they said because it's alcohol, it's like poisoning them.
00:31:58.000 Someone was saying they went to a supermarket and they got hand sanitizer and it smelled like tequila.
00:32:04.000 Yeah, it has a sweet smell.
00:32:06.000 Smell to it.
00:32:07.000 But if you have buckets of that stuff, it's probably mostly just alcohol, right?
00:32:12.000 Yeah, it's 70% alcohol.
00:32:14.000 One of my sponsors is making Buffalo Trace whiskey.
00:32:18.000 They're donating cases of hand sanitizer.
00:32:22.000 Yeah, because they can easily switch over to make it.
00:32:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, real easy. 1.00
00:32:28.000 It's just alcohol that tastes like shit. 1.00
00:32:30.000 Right. 1.00
00:32:31.000 They know the process.
00:32:32.000 But kids are drinking it, and that's just...
00:32:36.000 Watch your kids. 1.00
00:32:37.000 Don't let them drink that shit. 1.00
00:32:38.000 What the fuck? 1.00
00:32:39.000 What's wrong with our kids? 1.00
00:32:40.000 They're eating Tide Pods.
00:32:42.000 Now they're drinking hand sanitizer.
00:32:43.000 Come on, man.
00:32:44.000 When we grew up, while we were growing up, there's definitely kids we went to school with that if Tide Pods existed, they would have ate them.
00:32:50.000 That's just kids. 1.00
00:32:52.000 Kids do dumb shit. 1.00
00:32:54.000 They're always going to do dumb shit. 1.00
00:32:56.000 It's part of being a kid that doesn't know any better. 1.00
00:32:58.000 But now it's like they do dumb shit, but it becomes a viral challenge. 0.99
00:33:03.000 You know, that's the difference. 0.99
00:33:04.000 Like when we did it, like there was one neighborhood kid, you know, well, let's face it, Joe, you had a television show based on that one neighborhood kid.
00:33:14.000 You have six of those neighborhood kids every week.
00:33:17.000 You had a hit show based on the neighborhood kid who would, yeah, feed him this.
00:33:20.000 What the hell?
00:33:21.000 I have a PhD in those people. 0.60
00:33:23.000 I understand those folks.
00:33:27.000 Yeah, when we were growing up, there was always a kid that would eat worms.
00:33:29.000 I read a story about a kid who ate a slug on a dare in, I think it was Australia, and he wound up being paralyzed.
00:33:35.000 He got some sort of a viral infection because of this snail that paralyzed him, and then a couple years later he died.
00:33:43.000 See if you can find that. 0.99
00:33:44.000 Damn, that's too bad. 1.00
00:33:45.000 It's crazy. 0.99
00:33:46.000 But kids need to know this. 1.00
00:33:47.000 You can't just go eat a fucking slug. 1.00
00:33:49.000 Right. 1.00
00:33:49.000 They're real bad for you. 1.00
00:33:51.000 Right, you can't, yeah.
00:33:52.000 You don't eat something... 0.98
00:33:54.000 Some wild ass bug? 0.99
00:33:56.000 Some snail or something? 0.95
00:33:59.000 I didn't even bring up the specific story.
00:34:00.000 There's something called rat lung worm disease.
00:34:02.000 No, but bring up the specific story because it's pretty crazy.
00:34:05.000 A kid on a dare ate a slug.
00:34:07.000 It says it's a man.
00:34:08.000 It doesn't say kid.
00:34:08.000 Oh, this is a kid.
00:34:09.000 On a dare.
00:34:10.000 It says on a dare, now paralyzed.
00:34:12.000 This was in New York, though.
00:34:15.000 It's probably more than one. 0.99
00:34:17.000 Poop-eating slugs are infecting Hawaiians with brain parasites. 0.99
00:34:21.000 Oh, Jesus. 0.98
00:34:21.000 Poop-eating? 0.98
00:34:23.000 Poop-eating slugs are giving you brain parasites. 1.00
00:34:26.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 1.00
00:34:28.000 There it is. 1.00
00:34:29.000 Australian man who dared to swallow a slug has died after rare eight-year illness.
00:34:34.000 I think he was a man when he died, but I think he was a kid when he pulled it off.
00:34:38.000 On a dare in 2010. Jesus Christ.
00:34:42.000 Yeah, he ate a slug.
00:34:43.000 Yeah, I think he was a kid.
00:34:45.000 That looks like a kid.
00:34:47.000 Ugh, he was in a coma for 420 days.
00:34:50.000 He emerged from the ordeal with significant brain injuries, but continued to live for another eight years. 1.00
00:34:55.000 Holy fuck. 0.99
00:34:56.000 He consumed a garden creature on a dare in 2010. My god. 1.00
00:35:03.000 Rat lungworm.
00:35:03.000 Contracted encephalitis.
00:35:05.000 Rat lungworm.
00:35:07.000 An infection usually found in rodents that can also be transmitted to snails and slugs if they eat rat feces containing the parasite's larva.
00:35:18.000 See, this is how, again, this is how we get these crazy diseases for which we have no immune system defense.
00:35:27.000 Like, because you're not supposed to be eating slugs that eat rat feces.
00:35:33.000 Yeah, that's nature trying to say, like, what is wrong with this one?
00:35:36.000 Why is he eating slugs?
00:35:37.000 Don't.
00:35:38.000 Yeah.
00:35:39.000 Yeah, there's things that gross you out for a reason.
00:35:41.000 They seem like roaches or rats.
00:35:44.000 They carry diseases.
00:35:46.000 You see them and you're like, ah!
00:35:47.000 It's instinctive.
00:35:48.000 Yeah.
00:35:59.000 Yeah.
00:36:10.000 And I was like, alright, that sounds, I don't know if that's true, but it sounds like good advice.
00:36:14.000 It sounds great, but I think goats can eat anything.
00:36:16.000 Don't they eat like cans?
00:36:17.000 They show them, but they don't actually eat them.
00:36:19.000 I think that's a myth.
00:36:23.000 Find out if it's true that humans can eat anything.
00:36:24.000 If that's true, that'd be amazing.
00:36:26.000 Just bring goats with you.
00:36:27.000 Whatever they eat, you're good.
00:36:28.000 Yeah, which means get a goat now, because I don't know which way society's going.
00:36:32.000 Oh yeah, you need a goat now. 1.00
00:36:34.000 So now's the time to get a goat just in case shit goes wrong. 0.99
00:36:39.000 You're like, what are you doing? 0.99
00:36:40.000 I'm following my goat.
00:36:41.000 You don't want a fully grown adult goat either.
00:36:44.000 You want a baby goat.
00:36:45.000 A baby goat.
00:36:46.000 A kid.
00:36:46.000 Well yeah.
00:36:47.000 They actually are kids.
00:36:48.000 Literally a kid.
00:36:49.000 They get a bad rap for eating tin cans.
00:36:51.000 They're actually chewing on the metal to get the label and the glue on the label.
00:36:57.000 They're not actually eating the metal. 0.99
00:36:58.000 What the fuck? 0.99
00:37:00.000 So they're getting high on glue. 1.00
00:37:02.000 They're into glue and paper.
00:37:04.000 So we can eat glue and paper.
00:37:05.000 Is that what that means?
00:37:06.000 So can we eat what goats eat?
00:37:08.000 Can humans eat what goats eat?
00:37:11.000 I feel like if you get a baby goat, he'll know you're cool.
00:37:15.000 You treat them well from the time they're a baby, like a dog.
00:37:18.000 If you have a dog and you've had him since he's a puppy, he knows you're cool.
00:37:22.000 All his life you've been cool.
00:37:24.000 But that's also like that Tiger King thing, right?
00:37:26.000 Like you raise a tiger from when it's a baby, but then one day it just realizes, like, I'm a tiger.
00:37:35.000 You look delicious.
00:37:36.000 You know what I mean?
00:37:36.000 Yeah, but it's just a goat.
00:37:38.000 Alonzo, you're a huge dude. 1.00
00:37:39.000 You could fuck a goat up. 1.00
00:37:40.000 I would think so. 1.00
00:37:42.000 You would fuck a goat up. 1.00
00:37:43.000 You'd grab ahold of those horns. 1.00
00:37:44.000 Like, where are you going, bitch? 1.00
00:37:45.000 Yeah, I think I could take a goat. 1.00
00:37:47.000 You're going to snap that thing's neck like a Steven Seagal movie.
00:37:49.000 Not one of those big mountain goats that rams you with the horns, though.
00:37:53.000 Those can get like 300 pounds.
00:37:54.000 Yeah, you don't want one of them.
00:37:57.000 You want a domestic goat. 1.00
00:37:58.000 What's the biggest, I wonder if I'm exaggerating, what's the biggest mountain goat?
00:38:03.000 What's the, like a mountain goat? 0.99
00:38:05.000 Or, yeah, with those white-haired ones, those enormous white-haired ones in Alaska and shit. 0.99
00:38:11.000 That can walk on, like, cliffs like they walk on the edge. 0.99
00:38:15.000 You ever see that?
00:38:16.000 Tiny ledges.
00:38:17.000 How do you live?
00:38:18.000 And they live their whole life.
00:38:19.000 Well, that's why, because they live their whole life doing it.
00:38:22.000 How big are those?
00:38:26.000 It's because of the scoring size for some reason.
00:38:29.000 Oh, that must mean it's a hunting page.
00:38:31.000 Did you ask how much they weigh?
00:38:34.000 Just ask how much of the biggest...
00:38:36.000 How much does a full-grown mountain goat weigh?
00:38:40.000 Adult females about 180. Males average 280. Yeah. 0.94
00:38:45.000 Prime up to 300. Or just 385. 385!
00:38:50.000 And they're walking like a ballerina on the side of a cliff.
00:38:53.000 Yeah.
00:38:53.000 Just dangling a little half inch.
00:38:56.000 Imagine getting rammed by a 385 pound goat.
00:38:58.000 That's gotta be like getting hit by a car.
00:39:00.000 Like, just, uh... 1.00
00:39:02.000 Dude, look at the size of that fucker. 1.00
00:39:04.000 Goddamn, they're huge. 1.00
00:39:06.000 They look so cool. 1.00
00:39:07.000 It looks like a horse fucked a goat. 1.00
00:39:09.000 Doesn't it? 1.00
00:39:10.000 Like, look at its face.
00:39:11.000 It doesn't look like a goat.
00:39:13.000 Now, you know what that's like?
00:39:14.000 That's like getting hit by an NFL lineman.
00:39:17.000 It's like getting blindsided by an NFL line.
00:39:21.000 They might have even more power than that because they're on four legs and they're animals and they're doing this all day long.
00:39:28.000 You know, there's a video of a ram slamming heads with a cow.
00:39:33.000 The ram starts walking towards these cows, and this female cow gets pissed off and comes, maybe a bull. 0.98
00:39:41.000 I don't know if it's a bull or a female cow, but this cow comes forward. 0.99
00:39:45.000 Watch this.
00:39:46.000 Watch this.
00:39:46.000 Oh, it is a bull.
00:39:47.000 So watch this.
00:39:48.000 Is that a bull?
00:39:49.000 Seems like it, right?
00:39:50.000 Watch this.
00:39:51.000 Boom! 1.00
00:39:51.000 You're out, bitch. 1.00
00:39:53.000 Wow. 1.00
00:39:54.000 So the goat or the ram headbutts that cow.
00:39:59.000 Do that one more time.
00:40:01.000 Is it a bull?
00:40:02.000 It seems like a bull, doesn't it, Jamie?
00:40:05.000 I think it had horns.
00:40:06.000 Yeah, it's got horns.
00:40:07.000 Yeah, it's got horns.
00:40:09.000 Yeah, okay.
00:40:10.000 So it is a bull.
00:40:10.000 So that's why he's doing it, too.
00:40:12.000 Yeah, look at his balls, too. 1.00
00:40:12.000 You see his nuts. 1.00
00:40:13.000 His huge balls. 1.00
00:40:15.000 How could I not see those? 1.00
00:40:16.000 But he gets K the fuck owed. 1.00
00:40:18.000 He's probably dead. 0.99
00:40:19.000 I was going to say, do you think it's dead because of the skull?
00:40:21.000 One more time.
00:40:21.000 Give me one more time.
00:40:22.000 Well, you know, if he lived...
00:40:25.000 Watch this.
00:40:26.000 One more time.
00:40:28.000 Just look at the ram. 1.00
00:40:29.000 The ram's like, bitch, I'm scared of you. 1.00
00:40:32.000 Yeah, so if he lived, like that bull gets no respect for the rest of his life. 1.00
00:40:38.000 Like, I saw your bitch ass get knocked out by a ram. 1.00
00:40:41.000 A ram is probably one-eighth your size. 1.00
00:40:45.000 You ain't scaring nobody.
00:40:47.000 Yeah, they just know to do that move.
00:40:50.000 I bet a bull's never experienced something getting in between its horns and hitting it flat on the top of the head.
00:40:55.000 Or it's probably never experienced something stronger than it.
00:40:58.000 Yeah.
00:40:59.000 You know?
00:41:01.000 That seems like a scene in a movie, though.
00:41:03.000 This doesn't seem right that a stick can just stop it.
00:41:05.000 Maybe this one's just stopping?
00:41:07.000 Well, that's a little one.
00:41:08.000 Look how little that is.
00:41:09.000 And it's also probably a certain way it's getting hit.
00:41:13.000 Well, I think it hits objects.
00:41:15.000 So that's what it is. 1.00
00:41:16.000 It's dumb. 0.97
00:41:17.000 So as he puts a stick in front of it, it headbutts the stick, which means that, like, if you're punching something, right, and there's a guy behind this thing, but you're trying to punch this thing here, and this thing moves, if you get to the guy behind it, you won't have any power. 0.98
00:41:31.000 The power will be all in this one spot, and then it misses.
00:41:35.000 You just kind of like...
00:41:36.000 And also the animal doesn't know.
00:41:38.000 Like, this is something unusual to him.
00:41:40.000 Right.
00:41:41.000 Why is someone holding a stick out?
00:41:42.000 Right.
00:41:42.000 So it just hits the stick with its head.
00:41:44.000 That actually makes sense.
00:41:45.000 That's a good move.
00:41:47.000 Maybe like a bull with a cape, right?
00:41:50.000 They make the cape look way bigger than the person, so the bull just goes towards the massive object, right?
00:41:55.000 Yeah.
00:41:55.000 I was in South Africa, and we did this safari.
00:42:00.000 It wasn't like the real safari because we didn't have time, but they were like, yeah, by far the most dangerous animal is a hippo.
00:42:07.000 Oh, yeah.
00:42:08.000 That was the one.
00:42:09.000 Because when we went by the water, you saw the backs of the hippos, and they were like, yeah, you don't want them to come out of there. 1.00
00:42:16.000 Yeah, fuck that. 1.00
00:42:18.000 Hippos are terrifying. 1.00
00:42:19.000 Yeah, and they're mean. 0.98
00:42:20.000 They're huge, too.
00:42:22.000 They're mean.
00:42:23.000 Basically, it's like a tank.
00:42:25.000 And they're vegetarians, which is weird.
00:42:27.000 They're vegetarians, but if they feel a threat, they drown you. 0.68
00:42:32.000 They pull you underwater because they can hold their breath for like five or six minutes or something like that.
00:42:37.000 And they just hold you till you're dead.
00:42:39.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:42:41.000 But they say, but they're like very territorial, very mean, and they're fast.
00:42:46.000 I think they run like 20 miles an hour or something like that.
00:42:49.000 Like, yeah, it's basically...
00:42:51.000 An armored living vehicle.
00:42:53.000 I mean a living thing.
00:42:55.000 There's a crazy video of a hippo chasing these people on a boat.
00:42:58.000 Have you ever seen that one?
00:43:00.000 Or did you ever see like the lion that jumped on the hippo and then the hippo just stood there and then the lion jumped off? 0.98
00:43:07.000 He was basically like, I can't fuck with this thing.
00:43:09.000 There's one video where the lion's trying to eat the hippo and it's biting into the hippo's back and the hippo's just like... 0.99
00:43:15.000 Yeah, the hippo's like, would you leave me alone?
00:43:18.000 So annoying.
00:43:20.000 Keep biting me.
00:43:22.000 I think it was taking little pieces out of its back.
00:43:25.000 I just couldn't figure out how to get rid of the lion.
00:43:28.000 They're so big.
00:43:30.000 Yeah.
00:43:30.000 But I guess, like, if you want to survive in Africa around crocodiles, you have to be so big, the crocodile's like, I'm not even trying.
00:43:36.000 Right.
00:43:37.000 You know?
00:43:38.000 Right.
00:43:38.000 Yeah, there's so many things that can kill you that this is something that's like, nah.
00:43:43.000 You know what kills elephants sometimes in Africa?
00:43:46.000 Ants.
00:43:47.000 Yeah.
00:43:47.000 They climb up into their ear.
00:43:49.000 Right.
00:43:49.000 They just keep eating.
00:43:51.000 They just climb all the way up their leg.
00:43:52.000 And they eat into their brain, right?
00:43:53.000 Yeah.
00:43:54.000 That's a hell of a way to go.
00:43:56.000 That's got to be the worst.
00:43:57.000 And there's nothing you can do about it. 0.99
00:43:59.000 What the fuck can you do? 1.00
00:44:01.000 All these ants are streaming up your body, eating your brain. 1.00
00:44:04.000 That's a slow, horrible death. 1.00
00:44:07.000 Nature, you cruel bitch. 1.00
00:44:08.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:44:09.000 But that's nature, you know? 0.99
00:44:12.000 Nature's not to be fucked with. 0.99
00:44:13.000 There's a great video that I saw yesterday of a cat trying to get a squirrel. 0.99
00:44:18.000 There's a squirrel, and the squirrel's on the tree, and the cat's on the tree, and the cat's going right, and the squirrel's going left, and the cat's going left, and the squirrel's going right.
00:44:25.000 The squirrel's successfully evading the cat for the most part, and then fucks up.
00:44:31.000 Zigs when he shoulda zagged.
00:44:33.000 Well, cats, I think, of domestic animals, like, they have the most instincts of when they were wild.
00:44:40.000 Like, a cat can hunt...
00:44:42.000 You ever see them hunt a bird?
00:44:44.000 Oh, yeah. 0.73
00:44:44.000 It's like, if a bird's dumb enough to land on the ground, cats got them. 0.73
00:44:49.000 Cats got them. 0.99
00:44:50.000 Cats got them.
00:44:51.000 They move so fast, too.
00:44:52.000 And they know you're going to fly up, so they jump.
00:44:55.000 Yeah.
00:44:56.000 And then they swat you as you're trying to fly away.
00:44:58.000 Yeah.
00:44:58.000 Yeah, cats.
00:44:59.000 They don't even bother eating them.
00:45:00.000 No, they just kill it, just to stay in practice.
00:45:03.000 It's like, why would they eat you when I have cat food?
00:45:05.000 I have a bowl of cat food. 1.00
00:45:07.000 These dumb motherfuckers just leave it out for me. 1.00
00:45:09.000 Like, cats? 1.00
00:45:10.000 You don't even feed a cat at a certain time.
00:45:12.000 Cats have trained humans perfectly.
00:45:14.000 Cats are like, listen, I could, but I have a human.
00:45:17.000 It will feed me.
00:45:19.000 And I can totally ignore it.
00:45:21.000 Like, dogs earn their food.
00:45:23.000 You know what I mean?
00:45:23.000 Dogs, like, I protect the house, or I fetch, or I play with the kids, or this or that.
00:45:28.000 Cats are like, no, I will totally ignore this human, and they will feed me.
00:45:32.000 It's just such a weird pet.
00:45:34.000 And what's weird is when people go deep with, like, I get when people have attacked dogs.
00:45:38.000 It makes sense. 0.99
00:45:39.000 But I don't get the like servals and shit. 0.99
00:45:42.000 Right. 0.94
00:45:42.000 People have those weird like half... 0.94
00:45:45.000 Yeah, like you don't want a cat that could kill you.
00:45:48.000 Yeah.
00:45:48.000 They're sort of domesticated, half domesticated.
00:45:52.000 You ever heard of those things when they're trying to feed them like chicken bones?
00:45:55.000 Yeah.
00:45:56.000 They make these crazy noises. 1.00
00:45:58.000 You're like, fuck, man, that's in your house while you sleep? 1.00
00:46:00.000 Do you have a dog? 1.00
00:46:01.000 Yes.
00:46:02.000 Yeah.
00:46:02.000 But it's a golden retriever.
00:46:03.000 Oh, it's a nice dog.
00:46:04.000 The sweetest dog of all time.
00:46:06.000 They're so nice.
00:46:07.000 Everybody that comes over to the house, like if you came over to my house, you'd be like, oh, look!
00:46:10.000 Like your long-lost friends.
00:46:12.000 Everybody's a long-lost friend.
00:46:14.000 That has been something since I've been just locked down, that thought's crossed my mind.
00:46:18.000 Like, man, I should get a dog.
00:46:20.000 Dogs are great, but when you go on the road as much as you do.
00:46:23.000 Once I go back to work, I won't be able to take care of it.
00:46:26.000 But dogs are really cool.
00:46:28.000 And I have a neighbor who has a dog.
00:46:29.000 It's called a Dogo.
00:46:31.000 You familiar with these?
00:46:32.000 Oh, Dogo Argentino.
00:46:33.000 Yeah.
00:46:34.000 But it's a fantastic dog.
00:46:36.000 And she said she's a dog trainer.
00:46:39.000 She said, yeah, some people have used these for fighting and this and that.
00:46:42.000 She said, but if you get...
00:46:44.000 She's like, I know a breeder. 1.00
00:46:45.000 I'll get you a good one.
00:46:47.000 And it's really a great dog.
00:46:49.000 And it's tempting, but I know once I go back on the road...
00:46:53.000 Then it becomes the, it's either at the kennel all the time where I gotta get the dog sitter, so it's not gonna work.
00:46:59.000 But dogs are just, they're just cool, man.
00:47:01.000 I love dogs.
00:47:02.000 Yeah, it would be sad for the dog if you get that, unfortunately.
00:47:04.000 Right, it's not fair to the dog to just leave it.
00:47:06.000 Eliza's got it nailed. 0.93
00:47:07.000 She gets them little dogs, she puts in a purse, takes them everywhere. 0.99
00:47:11.000 She's figured it out.
00:47:12.000 We were at the improv once, and she's about to go on, and she just handed me her dog.
00:47:16.000 She's like, here's Blanche. 1.00
00:47:19.000 I'm like, okay, I guess I'll hold Blanche.
00:47:21.000 She would just know that we would take care of it.
00:47:24.000 God, that was an adorable dog.
00:47:26.000 Her new dog's very adorable.
00:47:27.000 Have you met Tofu?
00:47:28.000 No, I haven't met the new one.
00:47:30.000 Oh, super adorable dog.
00:47:31.000 Jeremy Hotz has one too.
00:47:33.000 He's got a Shaq. 1.00
00:47:35.000 Shaq is his long-haired Chihuahua that he brings. 1.00
00:47:39.000 Yeah, if you're a road person, a Chihuahua's really, like that kind of size dog, that's your move.
00:47:45.000 Yeah.
00:47:45.000 You can just take him with you.
00:47:47.000 The road, man.
00:47:48.000 Doesn't it make you not want to do the road again?
00:47:51.000 I'm worried about that, man.
00:47:53.000 I'm worried about being home.
00:47:54.000 I haven't been...
00:47:56.000 I haven't gone this long without getting on a plane in 20 years.
00:48:01.000 And the idea...
00:48:03.000 I'm afraid of not wanting to go back to work.
00:48:07.000 The other thing is...
00:48:09.000 I've done a couple of live streams at the Laugh Factory.
00:48:12.000 I'm doing...
00:48:13.000 Next week, I'm doing a...
00:48:16.000 Digital comedy club thing, right?
00:48:19.000 I'm like, man, what if I get used to working without an audience?
00:48:22.000 Well, what if that VR thing happens?
00:48:24.000 What if the VR thing happens and they can make it set up so that, like, you could be on a stage, you put the VR on, and the people put their VR on, and they're sitting in an audience...
00:48:37.000 I did one of those.
00:48:39.000 It was weird.
00:48:41.000 For now.
00:48:42.000 Yeah.
00:48:43.000 The thing about it is, what you really lose, there is an energy that comes from laughter in the room.
00:48:50.000 You can do it.
00:48:52.000 I think of it as kind of like this, or like doing radio, where people can be listening and they might be laughing.
00:48:59.000 Like when you do morning radio, they're laughing in their car, but you don't really know that.
00:49:04.000 Right, right, right.
00:49:04.000 The people in the studio have to kind of laugh along with you to let everybody know.
00:49:09.000 Right, so...
00:49:11.000 I mean, it works for now, and it is kind of fun and just odd doing it, so I don't mind doing it.
00:49:18.000 I hear some comics say that they wouldn't do it or they hate it.
00:49:21.000 To me, it's just like, okay, this is what we're doing now, and it's weird, but it's fun.
00:49:26.000 That would be the question to ask those comics.
00:49:28.000 What would you do if there was no more comedy ever again live?
00:49:32.000 What if this is just the tip of the disease iceberg?
00:49:35.000 Right.
00:49:35.000 It keeps getting worse and worse.
00:49:36.000 Are you willing to accept no more comedy ever?
00:49:39.000 Probably not.
00:49:40.000 No.
00:49:41.000 No.
00:49:41.000 Nobody would be.
00:49:42.000 You'd wind up doing those digital comedy clubs.
00:49:44.000 Yeah.
00:49:44.000 I mean, you know.
00:49:45.000 I just hope it doesn't come to that.
00:49:47.000 I don't think it's going to come to that all the time.
00:49:48.000 Another thing is, I was talking to a Vegas fan.
00:49:52.000 I think?
00:49:58.000 We're good to go.
00:50:23.000 That's a good point.
00:50:24.000 So we could do it.
00:50:27.000 I mean, you couldn't draw as many people.
00:50:30.000 But what if you just test everybody?
00:50:32.000 Yeah, well, I think that that's going to be part of it, too.
00:50:36.000 I was reading about as Europe reopens, that's what they're doing.
00:50:40.000 They're scanning people, like, I guess, testing you for fevers.
00:50:44.000 I don't buy this thing that they want to...
00:50:47.000 I mean, I don't want to do the tracking thing.
00:50:49.000 When they talk about that, I think that's a real slippery slope.
00:50:52.000 If they let you track people on their cell phones, whether or not they're sick or healthy, and you know exactly where they go and who they're in contact with, I think that's a slippery slope because the problem with that is once they get that kind of power to track people...
00:51:05.000 They're never going to get rid of it.
00:51:06.000 They're never going to get rid of it.
00:51:07.000 They're going to find another reason to use it.
00:51:09.000 They'll use it for the flu.
00:51:10.000 They'll use it for something else.
00:51:11.000 And it's also such a faulty...
00:51:18.000 It's like, if you know you're being tracked, well, I'm gonna give my phone to whoever.
00:51:23.000 Like, what do they always do in the movie?
00:51:25.000 They put the tracker on an animal or a car or something and then they send them the wrong place.
00:51:30.000 Well, now they don't know who...
00:51:32.000 No, I don't think that's it.
00:51:33.000 Well, then they make it a felony to do that, Alonzo.
00:51:35.000 You can't give your phone to your friend.
00:51:38.000 You were trying to be deceptive.
00:51:39.000 Yeah, okay. 0.99
00:51:41.000 I just think it's a fucking slippery slope. 0.99
00:51:44.000 It absolutely is. 0.98
00:51:45.000 I don't think you can trust them, trust any authorities or medical or whatever with that.
00:51:53.000 But that said, what I was going to say, you can have a driver's license, right?
00:51:56.000 Well, why can't you have a license that shows you've been tested?
00:51:59.000 Yeah.
00:52:00.000 You don't need...
00:52:01.000 It just has your face on it.
00:52:02.000 It's a public...
00:52:03.000 Just like a driver's license.
00:52:04.000 Right.
00:52:05.000 Where it's got a seal.
00:52:06.000 It's got your picture.
00:52:06.000 You've been tested.
00:52:07.000 Yeah, you've been tested.
00:52:08.000 However often, like once a year or something like that.
00:52:11.000 You have a hole punch next to the date, an official hole punch.
00:52:14.000 You get a bunch of them, then you get a new card.
00:52:16.000 Yeah.
00:52:16.000 Why can't we do that?
00:52:17.000 You get a new card every 90 days.
00:52:19.000 Until they come up with a vaccine.
00:52:20.000 I think science...
00:52:23.000 Science will come up with a vaccine, you know, a combination of human immunity and science will come up.
00:52:30.000 I mean, this is like polio, you know, was when you were a kid and polio was a definite threat, like you had to worry about, you know, and then they came up with a vaccine.
00:52:41.000 Right.
00:52:41.000 This is another thing.
00:52:42.000 I mean...
00:52:43.000 I have a friend who works in this, and she said, yeah, viruses and diseases and stuff, they change.
00:52:52.000 They adapt, so we have to adapt.
00:52:54.000 We have to stay ahead of it.
00:52:56.000 And this one just caught everyone off guard.
00:52:59.000 There was no...
00:53:01.000 Yeah, they've been warning us about this kind of thing, the possibility of this kind of thing for a long time.
00:53:06.000 Bill Gates did a TED Talk in 2015 where he talked about it.
00:53:09.000 Yeah, and they showed it.
00:53:12.000 I don't know.
00:53:14.000 They looked at it.
00:53:15.000 Obama talked about this is something we got to spend money on and get ready for.
00:53:20.000 It's one of those things.
00:53:22.000 People didn't want to believe it.
00:53:24.000 He's a guy who's...
00:53:26.000 It's almost funny how smart he was.
00:53:28.000 He's like, yeah, we should prepare for infectious disease.
00:53:33.000 Nah. 1.00
00:53:34.000 It's like, now, like, oh, shit. 1.00
00:53:37.000 We probably should have prepared for infectious diseases. 1.00
00:53:39.000 Yeah.
00:53:40.000 And, you know, the United States, but this is just another example of our medical system, man.
00:53:45.000 We got to get it together where medicine isn't just for the rich.
00:53:49.000 Yes, for sure.
00:53:51.000 Dude, I hate to say this, but I have to piss so bad.
00:53:53.000 I drank way too much coffee before the show.
00:53:55.000 Can we pause?
00:53:56.000 Pause it.
00:53:56.000 Yeah.
00:53:57.000 Pause it real quick.
00:53:57.000 I'm going to piss.
00:53:58.000 Be right back.
00:53:58.000 Sorry.
00:53:59.000 No, no worries.
00:53:59.000 Sorry.
00:54:03.000 One of life's great feelings. 0.98
00:54:05.000 I fucked up. 0.80
00:54:06.000 Sorry, folks. 0.94
00:54:07.000 I had a big thing of bone broth earlier, and I had two double espressos.
00:54:12.000 Then I had at least two large bottles of water.
00:54:16.000 Yeah.
00:54:17.000 So it was a real struggle. 1.00
00:54:19.000 I was like, God damn it, I fucked up. 0.99
00:54:20.000 I pissed before the show, too. 1.00
00:54:22.000 I thought I was going to be okay.
00:54:23.000 It's all good.
00:54:23.000 That's one of life's great feelings.
00:54:25.000 It is.
00:54:26.000 When you got to pee and it's just right there and then you get that, yeah, exactly.
00:54:33.000 It's the simple things, Joe.
00:54:35.000 It is.
00:54:35.000 It's the simple things, the simple pleasures.
00:54:38.000 That's what we can enjoy out of this pandemic, some of the simple pleasures.
00:54:41.000 You know what I do appreciate?
00:54:41.000 I appreciate talking to people because when you're locked up in your house, most of the time, until I'm here, I'm locked up in the house.
00:54:50.000 Right.
00:54:50.000 So I'm just sitting around, or I'm in the yard, or we could go on trails in my neighborhood still.
00:54:56.000 But at a certain point in time, you want to talk to somebody.
00:54:59.000 So I come here, I appreciate talking to people even more than before.
00:55:03.000 What I like is the absolute silence at night.
00:55:08.000 Like, you know, it's, I'll turn off everything, you know, like no TV, no music, nothing, and just, it's perfectly silent.
00:55:17.000 It's so odd, because so few people are out, so you just, you don't get the car.
00:55:21.000 Now, like where I live, you don't get a lot of cars or anything, but you just get nothing.
00:55:25.000 It's perfectly silent, and it's a strange, meditative thing.
00:55:32.000 These are the kind of things that once we find out whatever the new normal is, that's going to be the kind of thing that doesn't...
00:55:40.000 You realize my life isn't quiet.
00:55:46.000 There's a lot of noise in life.
00:55:49.000 And travel.
00:55:51.000 We were talking about it.
00:55:53.000 I don't know what that's going to be.
00:55:55.000 What is travel going to be like?
00:55:57.000 It's going to be weird.
00:55:59.000 Everyone's going to be paranoid.
00:56:00.000 We're all going to be paranoid.
00:56:02.000 Everyone's going to be masked up.
00:56:04.000 Yeah.
00:56:04.000 Are we going to be trying to maintain distance?
00:56:06.000 What are the airlines going to do?
00:56:08.000 How are they going to keep distance apart from each other?
00:56:10.000 And people are already, like, oddly not connected when they travel, right?
00:56:14.000 Yeah.
00:56:15.000 You sit next to a person.
00:56:16.000 You usually don't even talk to them.
00:56:17.000 You know, you get up.
00:56:19.000 Everybody gets in line.
00:56:20.000 Don't even really...
00:56:21.000 Very little small talk.
00:56:23.000 Well, we're hurting.
00:56:24.000 It's hurting.
00:56:25.000 Yeah.
00:56:25.000 So now are you still going to be able to herd people?
00:56:28.000 Are people going to appreciate?
00:56:30.000 Are we going to be nicer to each other?
00:56:33.000 And you would hope so, but human nature always shows like, nah.
00:56:38.000 It seems whenever we're given the choice of, okay, can we be better or worse?
00:56:43.000 Why do we always go to worse?
00:56:44.000 Well, this is why in this situation you gotta be worried, because people really don't have any experience with this kind of adversity.
00:56:51.000 So this is a new thing.
00:56:52.000 So adversity tests character.
00:56:54.000 There's a lot of people that haven't had a developed character. 1.00
00:56:56.000 They've been living these weak-ass, fucking useless, silly lives, and then all of a sudden adversity comes and shines its ugly head, and these morons Are all of a sudden dealt the weirdest hand of cards ever, where everybody's kind of fucked. 0.99
00:57:11.000 And then when things go back to work again, when you're asked to deal with adversity and you don't have any character, you're a guy with character. 1.00
00:57:19.000 I think you'll be fine.
00:57:21.000 I think you probably will be nicer after this.
00:57:23.000 I know I'm going to be nicer.
00:57:24.000 I think most people are going to be like, I don't even mean nicer.
00:57:27.000 I mean a little more appreciative.
00:57:30.000 I'm always nice.
00:57:30.000 Appreciative.
00:57:31.000 Appreciative.
00:57:32.000 And aware.
00:57:33.000 Yeah.
00:57:34.000 You know, one of the problems, people are not aware of the existence of other people.
00:57:39.000 Yes, right.
00:57:40.000 You know, so you have, like, if you're holding a sign, give me liberty or give me death in front of a Baskin-Robbins ice cream, you're like, you're not really aware.
00:57:50.000 What that means, are you?
00:57:52.000 You're probably going to be okay.
00:57:54.000 There's a Baskin Robbins behind you.
00:57:57.000 Your liberty is probably not a life and death issue right now.
00:58:02.000 The awareness thing is a real problem with people.
00:58:06.000 But there's people that are barely keeping it together with the most amazing society ever.
00:58:11.000 Through no fault of their own, for the most part. 0.99
00:58:13.000 Most people were fucked up. 1.00
00:58:14.000 They grew up in a fucked up house, and they had a fucked up family in a fucked up neighborhood, and people did them wrong every step of the way, and here they are, all fucked up at 35 years old. 1.00
00:58:23.000 But that doesn't take away from the fact that they are fucked up at 35 years old, and if they are really overweight, and they eat sugar all day, and they can't keep a job, and they're always making excuses, and now there's a pandemic, don't expect them to rise the occasion. 0.99
00:58:40.000 Right. 0.99
00:58:40.000 Or, you know, that's one. 0.99
00:58:43.000 The other ones were so insulated from reality.
00:58:48.000 You know, like I briefly lived in suburbia, right?
00:58:52.000 I had a house.
00:58:52.000 I was up in Valencia.
00:58:54.000 Oh, that's a nice area.
00:58:55.000 It's nice, but it's too nice.
00:58:57.000 You know what I mean?
00:58:57.000 And it was like, it was this perfect suburbia.
00:59:01.000 And all I could think was, man, the majority of these people...
00:59:06.000 Yep.
00:59:09.000 Yep.
00:59:23.000 But that is what, it's almost like that's what we aspire to, like that's what they build every time they build one of these new communities, right?
00:59:30.000 Now they even, the latest construction of malls, I used to always laugh about this, so they tear down all the mom and pop stores and build a mall which is a fake town of mom and pop stores, you know what I mean?
00:59:43.000 Like everything is this perfect controlled environment.
00:59:46.000 Like you said, now that's all out the window.
00:59:50.000 So what do you do?
00:59:52.000 What is going to happen to malls?
00:59:54.000 What do people do?
00:59:56.000 They're already hurting.
00:59:57.000 The outdoor malls.
00:59:59.000 Oh, like REI? That kind of shit? 1.00
01:00:01.000 No. 1.00
01:00:03.000 Oh, outdoor, like outside malls.
01:00:05.000 Right.
01:00:06.000 Those might still work.
01:00:07.000 But even now, they showed like Neiman Marcus is about to go bankrupt because people are like, wait a minute, you know what?
01:00:13.000 I don't need clothes. 0.99
01:00:15.000 Well, it's also people are buying shit online. 0.95
01:00:17.000 People are buying stuff online, but a lot of stuff, if you're like Macy's, you don't sell anything that people need right now. 0.98
01:00:25.000 No.
01:00:26.000 Not if people are hurting.
01:00:27.000 Right.
01:00:28.000 And what's the amount of people buying new clothes right now?
01:00:31.000 It makes it difficult to stay in business when everything you sell is basically a luxury or a pleasure thing.
01:00:40.000 Yeah, like diamonds.
01:00:42.000 Right.
01:00:43.000 Yeah, nobody's buying diamonds.
01:00:44.000 Right.
01:00:45.000 Man, I haven't seen a Kay Jewelers commercial.
01:00:49.000 I know, right?
01:00:50.000 You don't see any of those engagement commercials now?
01:00:53.000 Not right now.
01:00:54.000 Right.
01:00:54.000 There's nothing...
01:00:55.000 So it is going to be interesting because those companies have to survive this.
01:01:02.000 Or don't they?
01:01:03.000 And then get us out.
01:01:04.000 Look, Blockbuster's gone, bro.
01:01:07.000 Things change.
01:01:08.000 Blockbuster was everywhere.
01:01:10.000 Remember those days?
01:01:10.000 Blockbuster was everywhere.
01:01:11.000 There's one left.
01:01:13.000 Date night...
01:01:14.000 You know, now these kids with their Netflix and chill, back in the day, we had to earn it.
01:01:18.000 We had to earn it.
01:01:19.000 We had to go to the Blockbuster store, and you usually had to go with your girlfriend, right?
01:01:24.000 You couldn't just pick the movie.
01:01:27.000 No, no.
01:01:28.000 They ran out.
01:01:29.000 That's right.
01:01:30.000 They ran out of the movies.
01:01:31.000 Remember when they would have the empty box?
01:01:33.000 Like, you wouldn't see Tiger King until it was your turn.
01:01:38.000 Right.
01:01:38.000 Because your blockbuster would have eight Tiger Kings and they'd always be rented when you went there, you know?
01:01:44.000 Yeah.
01:01:45.000 And whenever a new movie came out, they would always have a long shelf with the new movie.
01:01:49.000 A lot of versions of it.
01:01:51.000 And you had to rewind it.
01:01:52.000 That's where those made-to-only-go-to-home movies came from.
01:01:58.000 Oh, I knew a guy who made a ton of money on those movies.
01:02:04.000 He made, and I'm not talking porn.
01:02:06.000 I'm talking regular movies.
01:02:07.000 Just terrible movies.
01:02:09.000 He said what he would do is he would get the seniors in film school, right?
01:02:15.000 And he would give them, what did he say he gave them?
01:02:19.000 Something like $10,000 and a camera and said, go make a movie.
01:02:25.000 And then it was either $10,000 or $50,000.
01:02:28.000 It was something like that.
01:02:29.000 But he'd give them that and the camera, go make a movie.
01:02:31.000 And they'd come back and he said, and it always would be a slasher movie because they were the easiest to make.
01:02:36.000 And he said, it's amazing how many women will take their top off if you point a camera at them. 1.00
01:02:42.000 So it was all like titty slasher movies.
01:02:45.000 And he would sell them overseas.
01:02:48.000 It was like Biker's Crazy Kill or something at a mall.
01:02:54.000 The mall monster.
01:02:58.000 But he made a ton of money off of that.
01:03:01.000 It was the straight-to-video movies with no budget.
01:03:04.000 And the kids would make them.
01:03:07.000 If you're a senior in film school, that's a great thing.
01:03:10.000 When someone says, here's some cash and a camera, go make a movie.
01:03:13.000 It feels to me the same way I feel about NCAA athletes not getting paid to play when the schools are making billions of dollars.
01:03:21.000 I'm like, huh, not quite as bad as that, but what's going on here? 0.99
01:03:26.000 How much money are you making from this fucking movie, man? 0.98
01:03:29.000 But it's a great thing for the kids, too. 1.00
01:03:31.000 So if you're a kid and you're going to film school and some guy comes along and goes, not only am I going to give you the equipment, I'm going to give you $50,000 to make a fucking movie. 0.99
01:03:39.000 Right. 0.99
01:03:40.000 Come on, make a movie, bro.
01:03:41.000 You can make 50 grand.
01:03:41.000 Yeah, then you're going to make a movie?
01:03:42.000 Then he's going to sell it for a couple of hundred grand or 250 or whatever in the international video market.
01:03:48.000 It's hilarious.
01:03:49.000 It's hilarious.
01:03:50.000 Oh, and you talk about bad.
01:03:52.000 I mean, these movies were just...
01:03:54.000 But that's what made it fun is the movies were so bad, you know, that it was like great.
01:04:01.000 We don't really have an editing budget.
01:04:04.000 Right.
01:04:04.000 Terrible.
01:04:05.000 Terrible.
01:04:05.000 No special effects.
01:04:07.000 No.
01:04:08.000 Yeah.
01:04:08.000 Is that guy holding a microphone in this shot?
01:04:11.000 Well...
01:04:11.000 You know what's funny though?
01:04:13.000 Occasionally someone will make a movie for like 15 bucks and it works.
01:04:16.000 Like, you remember Blair Witch Project?
01:04:18.000 Blair Witch, yeah. 0.99
01:04:18.000 That was a fucking legitimately scary movie. 0.99
01:04:20.000 That was a scary movie. 0.99
01:04:21.000 And then they tried to do it big budget and they couldn't make it work. 0.98
01:04:25.000 Nah, they fucked it up. 0.97
01:04:26.000 It had to be that, you know... 0.99
01:04:28.000 They fucked it up. 0.98
01:04:29.000 The found footage. 0.98
01:04:30.000 Like, what is this?
01:04:31.000 Let's watch it.
01:04:32.000 Like, those videos.
01:04:33.000 There was a whole show.
01:04:34.000 There wasn't a series of movies called VHS? Wasn't there a VHS? VHS. VHS. VHS. That's right.
01:04:40.000 VHS was a weird-out thing.
01:04:42.000 Right, right, right.
01:04:43.000 But VHS was a movie about people finding VHS footage of people getting attacked by demons.
01:04:50.000 There was one that the lady, they made a movie afterwards about her. 0.99
01:04:54.000 I think it was called Siren.
01:04:56.000 Where she was one of the characters in the VHS Yeah, VHS. She was one of the characters in that. 1.00
01:05:04.000 There was a girl that was really pretty, but really weird. 1.00
01:05:08.000 And these guys took her back to the house and she wanted to fuck them. 1.00
01:05:11.000 And she's like, I love you. 1.00
01:05:12.000 I like you.
01:05:13.000 I like you. 0.90
01:05:13.000 And she turns into a demon and tears everybody apart. 0.90
01:05:16.000 It was really wild. 1.00
01:05:17.000 Wild shit. 0.99
01:05:18.000 Do you remember part of the marketing for Blair Witch that they had a bunch of online stuff that made it seem real when it came out? 0.99
01:05:24.000 Right. 0.99
01:05:25.000 There was news stories about people disappearing and Yeah, morons just bought right into us. 0.99
01:05:30.000 I had a couple friends who thought it was 100% real, and we got into big discussions about it. 0.98
01:05:34.000 Those are those people right now that are talking about 5G. Fucking 5G. This is a hoax. 0.99
01:05:39.000 This is it.
01:05:40.000 It is.
01:05:40.000 Coronavirus is a hoax, man.
01:05:42.000 It's all 5G, and it was created...
01:05:46.000 Yeah, when people say that, like, and now have you got this?
01:05:50.000 I'm sure you've gotten this. 0.98
01:05:51.000 People who were otherwise reasonable send you something and you're like, holy shit, do you believe this? 0.98
01:05:56.000 Like, now I got to rethink my relationship with you. 0.98
01:05:59.000 Yeah.
01:05:59.000 You know?
01:06:00.000 Like, I got the one about don't take the vaccine because the vaccine is the sickness and they're experimenting on you and they want to, you know, it's like, man, you got to...
01:06:13.000 Like, you believe this?
01:06:15.000 I got one from a smart dude that I know where this doctor was talking straight to the camera and the doctor was saying, this is not a disease, this is radiation sickness.
01:06:23.000 Doctor.
01:06:24.000 Yeah.
01:06:24.000 A doctor.
01:06:25.000 Yeah, well...
01:06:25.000 Pointing, where's a doctor's outfit?
01:06:27.000 I'm like, okay, this is a guy with schizophrenia.
01:06:29.000 It's not a radiation disease.
01:06:30.000 They know exactly what it is.
01:06:32.000 They know the genome.
01:06:33.000 They know that it came from the bats that came from the very area that the Wuhan lab was studying.
01:06:39.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:06:39.000 Okay, this is really well-documented shit. 0.99
01:06:43.000 But people will absolutely ignore that. 0.99
01:06:45.000 That's what's frustrating to the scientists and the doctors, right? 1.00
01:06:50.000 When they're standing there and they're like, we know this shit. 0.99
01:06:55.000 Like a friend of mine who's a doctor, he hates WebMD. 1.00
01:07:00.000 Because patients come in.
01:07:01.000 And they already diagnosed it.
01:07:03.000 I read on the internet.
01:07:05.000 And he'll be like, yeah, because I went to school.
01:07:10.000 He's really funny because he's like, yeah, I went to school and I've been practicing medicine for 20 years.
01:07:16.000 So I probably know more than your website.
01:07:19.000 But if you want...
01:07:22.000 I'll run those tests. 1.00
01:07:25.000 Some doctors suck, though. 1.00
01:07:26.000 Yeah, there were bad doctors, and that's the thing. 0.99
01:07:30.000 But again, being home, I've watched some network TV, and I never really watched network TV, but now I'll just be watching whatever.
01:07:40.000 Every commercial...
01:07:42.000 Is either some drug, right?
01:07:44.000 Some drug for whatever condition you think you have or this or that, or it's a thank you to the people giving care during this time.
01:07:55.000 It seems like those are the only two commercials. 1.00
01:07:58.000 That's why I say, like, if you watch too much TV... Yeah, you're going to start being scared to death and believe in conspiracies because you're constantly pounded with this shit. 0.99
01:08:09.000 Like, you're just pounded with the negativity, the fear, to take a drug for whatever you might feel or think you feel or whatever. 0.99
01:08:18.000 And then the drugs, the side effects of the drugs.
01:08:21.000 And now there's a drug for the side effect of the drug that you took for something else.
01:08:27.000 You know what I mean?
01:08:28.000 Like, you...
01:08:30.000 You have to take a break.
01:08:33.000 I don't think you can watch two hours of news a day.
01:08:40.000 Any more than that.
01:08:42.000 Even that?
01:08:43.000 Like I said, that's the extreme upper limit.
01:08:46.000 I feel like I'm not watching much, but I am checking in on news stories on my phone every now and again.
01:08:50.000 I go to the Google News feed.
01:08:52.000 That's what I do, man.
01:08:52.000 I read.
01:08:53.000 I read the news because if I read the news, I can control the amount and I can also get different sources.
01:09:00.000 Or I read a story and then Google the story and see what other stories are about that.
01:09:06.000 So like when we were talking before about the thing about People drinking Clorox and you're like, are they really drinking Clorox?
01:09:13.000 And then you Google it and you're like, oh no, thank God, they're not drinking Clorox.
01:09:17.000 But Clorox and Lysol put out a warning saying don't do it.
01:09:21.000 If they hadn't, probably a couple of them would have tried it.
01:09:24.000 And plus, you know there was a lawyer somewhere like, man, I'm ready to sue Clorox.
01:09:29.000 Of course, somebody's going to get sued.
01:09:33.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:09:34.000 It's a fucking weird time, man. 0.98
01:09:36.000 It's going to be weird when everything starts back up, how people behave. 0.98
01:09:39.000 I'm hopeful.
01:09:40.000 I'm hopeful for the best.
01:09:42.000 But again, we're talking about there's going to be the worst of us that are not going to do well with this.
01:09:47.000 Because they're not prepared for any kind of adversity.
01:09:50.000 So when this adversity comes out where we're all supposed to group up together, some people are going to act out.
01:09:55.000 That's unfortunate, but I think it's going to be less.
01:09:58.000 I think more people are going to rise.
01:10:00.000 They're going to rise to the occasion.
01:10:01.000 Hopefully.
01:10:01.000 Hopefully.
01:10:02.000 And this is where, honestly, you need good information.
01:10:07.000 Yeah.
01:10:07.000 You can't have...
01:10:10.000 The crazy information, and you need good information that has to be given to everybody.
01:10:17.000 Like, this is what's real.
01:10:19.000 Because there's always been crazy information, right?
01:10:22.000 There's always been a National Enquirer, and what was that other paper?
01:10:26.000 The National Star.
01:10:27.000 The Stars.
01:10:28.000 That's always been there.
01:10:30.000 But now you have people reading that like, no, this is the real story.
01:10:36.000 And, you know, the New York Times is fake.
01:10:39.000 It's like, no, I think you got that backwards.
01:10:41.000 The New York Times ain't perfect, but I think they're a little closer than the weekly world news.
01:10:46.000 That's a real problem when someone like Trump, whenever he gets challenged, just calls everything fake news.
01:10:51.000 You're fake news, you're fake news.
01:10:53.000 They get some things wrong.
01:10:55.000 You're right.
01:10:55.000 But if you just keep calling everything fake news, you're crying wolf.
01:10:59.000 Right.
01:11:00.000 And the problem is, then we don't know who to trust.
01:11:04.000 You're talking about the dangers of blindly believing the president to drink bleach. 1.00
01:11:08.000 Well, blindly believing the president that the Washington Post is always wrong, or that CNN is always wrong, or the New York Times is full of shit. 1.00
01:11:16.000 That's not good. 1.00
01:11:18.000 But then who's not?
01:11:19.000 It's not good because, and yeah, there is, you know, the news is politicized and there's left and right and this and that.
01:11:26.000 But papers like the Washington Post, the New York Times, the LA Times, they do a pretty good job.
01:11:33.000 And they've been doing it for a long time.
01:11:36.000 And if you read it, they've attacked both sides.
01:11:41.000 When someone makes a mistake, they call them out on it and this and that.
01:11:45.000 And yeah, if you lose trust of that, then who do you trust?
01:11:51.000 Now is when the crazy comes in.
01:11:55.000 Again, when you start believing the weekly world news and doubting the New York Times...
01:12:00.000 What do you trust?
01:12:01.000 Do you have a news source that you go to?
01:12:03.000 I have a few.
01:12:04.000 The Times...
01:12:06.000 In my news feed, I've got the New York Times, I've got the LA Times.
01:12:12.000 I read some of the BBC. I like the BBC because looking at the United States from the outside looking in is kind of a different point of view.
01:12:25.000 What other feeds do I get?
01:12:27.000 Daily Beast, I like them.
01:12:31.000 Once in a while I get Huffington Post articles popping up.
01:12:35.000 And I read some opinion pieces.
01:12:41.000 You know, again, there are some...
01:12:44.000 I read this thing recently, and it was really good.
01:12:49.000 It was about the world being disappointed and sad by the United States' lack of leadership through this.
01:12:57.000 And the article talked about, like, this is the first time in the past hundred years where something happened to the world and the United States didn't take the lead.
01:13:06.000 And it went back to talking about how we defeated fascism and then democracy grew and the Cold War.
01:13:14.000 And, you know, and it said that...
01:13:17.000 And these were scientists from France, the UK, Germany.
01:13:24.000 Where was this article?
01:13:25.000 It was in the Times.
01:13:26.000 It was in the New York Times.
01:13:27.000 And they talked like one of the scientists was a climatologist from Germany that studied at Columbia.
01:13:34.000 And they said, you know, some of the best and brightest minds in the world are in the United States, but no one's listening to them.
01:13:41.000 And they talked about how the United States, again, took the lead.
01:13:46.000 Whenever something would happen to the world, the United States would take the lead and say, hey, we got this.
01:13:53.000 This is what we're going to do.
01:13:54.000 What do you think they could have done different?
01:13:57.000 And it talked about it in the article.
01:13:59.000 First thing was take it seriously and listen to the scientists.
01:14:03.000 That was the first thing that the government could have done.
01:14:05.000 When a scientist spoke up and said, hey, this is real.
01:14:09.000 This is not some Chinese thing or this is real.
01:14:13.000 You listen to them.
01:14:14.000 And the second thing is give people real information.
01:14:18.000 Say, hey, like you don't come out, say this is a hoax and then say it's not a hoax.
01:14:23.000 They came out like they were because they were talking about Germany, which I didn't notice that Markle is a physicist.
01:14:30.000 The Chancellor of Germany.
01:14:31.000 So she right away went to science because she's a scientist, which I never knew.
01:14:36.000 But they told the German people, like, okay, this is real. 0.91
01:14:40.000 There's a threat.
01:14:43.000 We don't know what to do, but we're going to do something.
01:14:46.000 And I think had we done that, had the United States done that, In January or in the latest February said, this is a real threat.
01:14:55.000 We have to take action and we're studying it.
01:14:58.000 Basically, you want to hear the government say, we're on it.
01:15:02.000 That, I think, would have been a big difference because then, it was like 9-11, right?
01:15:07.000 When 9-11 happened, the entire country came together.
01:15:12.000 We dropped our differences and said, yo, they attacked the United States of America, right?
01:15:18.000 And now the actions afterwards, later, the war and all of that, you may or may not have agreed with.
01:15:23.000 But if you remember that, for that first month, man, we were all Americans.
01:15:27.000 You know what I mean?
01:15:27.000 We were sitting around talking and it was like, this is the United States.
01:15:32.000 Remember the flags on the cars?
01:15:34.000 Yeah.
01:15:34.000 Yeah.
01:15:35.000 I mean, we came together.
01:15:36.000 Jay London used to sell them.
01:15:39.000 He did.
01:15:39.000 I believe it.
01:15:40.000 I believe it.
01:15:41.000 I love Jay.
01:15:41.000 I love Jay too.
01:15:42.000 I love Jay.
01:15:43.000 He's a character, but he's genuine and the biggest heart in the world.
01:15:48.000 The first TV show I ever did I did with Jay London. 0.92
01:15:50.000 It was in like 1993 or some shit.
01:15:53.000 I'll tell you my favorite Jay London story from last comic in a minute.
01:15:57.000 Because, you know, we lived together in the house.
01:16:00.000 We did the reality show.
01:16:01.000 We were there for about four or five weeks.
01:16:04.000 Wow.
01:16:05.000 But had they come out and said, this is real...
01:16:09.000 We don't know what it is, but scientists are working on it, and right now we need everybody to pause.
01:16:15.000 That's what they need.
01:16:16.000 Everybody needs to pause.
01:16:18.000 And then the other thing I think they needed to do from the beginning, and this goes back to World War II, there's a name for it, whatever the Defense Act is, where you call General Motors and Boeing and, I don't know,
01:16:34.000 3M and whatever drug companies and say, all right, drop what you're doing.
01:16:38.000 We need you on this.
01:16:40.000 Because the United States, that was World War II, right?
01:16:43.000 When they said, no, we're not making records.
01:16:45.000 We're not making pantyhose.
01:16:46.000 We're not making cars.
01:16:48.000 You're going to make tanks and you're going to make bullets.
01:16:51.000 I think that's the act he's using right now to try to force the meat packing companies to stay open.
01:16:56.000 Yeah, but it's piecemeal and it's too late.
01:17:02.000 I think if it was done from the beginning...
01:17:07.000 Forget about the, you're a Democratic governor and you're a Republican governor and you're... 1.00
01:17:13.000 Like, fuck all that. 1.00
01:17:14.000 Like, this is America. 1.00
01:17:16.000 In times like this, like you said, when adversity shows character, right?
01:17:20.000 This is when the character of the nation...
01:17:22.000 And this is what this article was talking about, where...
01:17:25.000 The United States didn't do that, where you had the federal government fighting against governors and they're arguing over who has constitutional power and stuff like this.
01:17:34.000 Don't you think that there was an adjusting period of people didn't think it was serious and then thought it was serious?
01:17:41.000 Didn't you personally go through a period where you weren't worried about it and then you became more worried about it as time went on?
01:17:47.000 Right, yeah, definitely.
01:17:48.000 But that's because of information, because we weren't given information.
01:17:51.000 But do you remember what the information we were getting in January?
01:17:54.000 It wasn't that bad.
01:17:55.000 It wasn't that bad.
01:17:57.000 The World Health Organization tweeted that, according to China, there's no worry of it being carried from person to person.
01:18:04.000 That was in January.
01:18:05.000 So it all happened in a weird way where there was conflicting information.
01:18:10.000 Right.
01:18:11.000 And people didn't...
01:18:12.000 But once people knew...
01:18:13.000 That's why I said maybe by February.
01:18:15.000 Right.
01:18:16.000 Because in February, people knew.
01:18:17.000 Doctors knew.
01:18:18.000 Yeah, once February came around, there was enough warnings that...
01:18:20.000 But try convincing everybody else.
01:18:22.000 There's so many naysayers out there, right?
01:18:24.000 But again, this is where...
01:18:26.000 But if you have a unified voice, if you have one voice...
01:18:30.000 Coming out saying, hey, this is what the scientists are saying.
01:18:33.000 You know, because...
01:18:34.000 And I tweeted this a long time ago.
01:18:36.000 Look, I'm going to get my information from scientists, not from politicians.
01:18:41.000 You know, this is where the politicians need to step to the side on the podium.
01:18:46.000 Like, what do they always do in the movie when the mayor stands up here?
01:18:49.000 And now I'm going to give it to the chief of police who's going to tell you.
01:18:52.000 Like, yes, you needed...
01:18:55.000 You know, a president who's going to say, okay, this is the situation now.
01:18:59.000 Here's the head of the, you know, Infectious Disease Bureau or whatever it is.
01:19:04.000 Well, there was supposedly... 0.95
01:19:04.000 Did we figure out what fucking happened with that pandemic branch? 0.95
01:19:08.000 Like, remember they said that he closed down, that Trump closed down some... 0.97
01:19:13.000 A lot of the people that have been taken off the team have been spread around different jobs.
01:19:17.000 They do respond to pandemic type things, but...
01:19:20.000 But there's not one specific pandemic department anymore.
01:19:23.000 And that was when they showed the Obama speech, because that's what came after the Ebola thing, was when he said, yeah, we need...
01:19:32.000 He said this is like, what did he say?
01:19:34.000 He said it's an investment.
01:19:35.000 He said it's not an expense, it's an investment or insurance or something like that.
01:19:39.000 But we need a department ready to deal with this because this is a real threat.
01:19:44.000 Well, now that they know.
01:19:45.000 Now that there's, I mean, in our lifetime this has never happened.
01:19:48.000 Now that it has worldwide, where the whole world is locked down.
01:19:53.000 Everybody's got to step up in a big way with this.
01:19:55.000 This has to be as much of a priority as natural defense or immigration or healthcare or anything.
01:20:01.000 Because this can put all of them to end if there's a really deadly disease.
01:20:07.000 This disease is obviously not good.
01:20:09.000 It's terrible.
01:20:09.000 But this is a warning.
01:20:10.000 This is really a shot over the bow in comparison to a lot of diseases.
01:20:14.000 And I think the other thing is, and again, this is where, you know, when people talk about, I don't know, government power and government this and that, like, this is when the government is supposed to operate.
01:20:24.000 This is when the government's supposed to tell the medical world, like, all right, this is what you do.
01:20:29.000 Yeah, we'll pay.
01:20:30.000 Don't worry. 1.00
01:20:30.000 We're going to fucking pay you. 1.00
01:20:31.000 But right now, if someone walks in sick, you lock them down and you don't send them away because they don't have insurance and stuff. 0.99
01:20:40.000 Because, I mean, we have, you know...
01:20:41.000 Well, that spreads more.
01:20:42.000 So much of that...
01:20:43.000 Our whole medical system based on...
01:20:47.000 It's always been frustrating to me when you go to a doctor, their first question is, where's your insurance card?
01:20:52.000 Not how are you feeling, not what's wrong.
01:20:54.000 And it's the system.
01:20:56.000 But this was a case where they needed to say... 1.00
01:21:00.000 All right, put all that shit aside. 1.00
01:21:02.000 You're going to take care of patients. 1.00
01:21:04.000 We're going to isolate. 1.00
01:21:04.000 Because with the Ebola thing, remember, that son of a bitch came, like that one guy came from Africa or something, and they like locked that son of a bitch up. 1.00
01:21:13.000 They were like, no, man, you ain't going near anybody. 1.00
01:21:15.000 You're going to be in a ward, sealed off.
01:21:19.000 Nobody's coming near you who's not wearing full protection.
01:21:21.000 And they stopped.
01:21:23.000 I don't know if stopped is the right word, but they caught it.
01:21:27.000 It's not as contagious, but...
01:21:30.000 But they took it seriously.
01:21:33.000 And the medical community has to...
01:21:37.000 Like, we need them now.
01:21:38.000 You know what I mean?
01:21:39.000 And we need them beyond...
01:21:41.000 The government is the one who has to say, this is what you'll do.
01:21:44.000 We'll pay you for it.
01:21:46.000 You know, and we'll pay later.
01:21:48.000 And listen, that's what we do.
01:21:50.000 And people talk about, you know...
01:21:53.000 How much is it going to cost?
01:21:55.000 Well, right now, we got to deal with this.
01:21:58.000 Nobody worried about the cost of winning World War II. They were like, fuck, let's win the war, and then we'll figure it out. 0.99
01:22:05.000 And then we turned out to make even more money afterwards, right? 0.99
01:22:08.000 And yeah, there's a military-industrial complex that makes money and blah, blah. 0.99
01:22:12.000 Yeah, you can always find all of this negative shit. 0.97
01:22:14.000 There's going to be people who rip off contracts and stuff. 0.98
01:22:17.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:22:18.000 But...
01:22:19.000 That's bad, and it exists.
01:22:21.000 But the government needed to step up.
01:22:23.000 Our government didn't step up on this.
01:22:25.000 They didn't give people real information.
01:22:27.000 And like you said, we got different information from different people.
01:22:31.000 You didn't know if it was a real or a hoax.
01:22:33.000 You didn't know what to do.
01:22:35.000 Well, there's a bunch of things going on here, but one thing, it shows the need for something like what a lot of people like Bernie Sanders are calling for, was to have healthcare for everybody.
01:22:43.000 Yes.
01:22:44.000 Healthcare should be a basic right, just like a fire department. 0.92
01:22:47.000 In a lot of ways, I compare it to fires, because if your house catches on fire and no one does shit about it, then it burns the house next door.
01:22:53.000 And that's the same with pandemics.
01:22:55.000 If someone gets sick and we don't have a way to get them healthy quick and have a way to make sure that they have health care, like they don't have to worry.
01:23:04.000 Like you could just go somewhere and you're not going to be spreading this.
01:23:07.000 Just go somewhere and they'll treat you and then you won't have it and your mom won't have it and no one will have it.
01:23:12.000 And you won't go bankrupt.
01:23:14.000 They're not there yet.
01:23:15.000 You won't go bankrupt.
01:23:16.000 I hope this wakes people up. 1.00
01:23:17.000 All these fucking guys who just want small government, sometimes you need a lot of government for shit like this. 1.00
01:23:23.000 Yeah, this is when you need a big government with power. 1.00
01:23:26.000 And this is what the government does.
01:23:28.000 This is a perfect example.
01:23:29.000 Because unless you are in that category that you could afford a bunker in New Zealand...
01:23:34.000 Those dudes?
01:23:35.000 They're okay.
01:23:36.000 How many of those...
01:23:37.000 There was a story about a Silicon Valley guy who had a bunker in New Zealand and he had to call the manufacturer because he forgot his combinations.
01:23:44.000 Right, he forgot his code.
01:23:45.000 So he's got a cargo.
01:23:47.000 If you've got bunker in New Zealand money, you're okay.
01:23:50.000 If you've got David Geffen's $200 million yacht that's sailing, you're probably all right.
01:23:57.000 But most of us... 0.99
01:23:59.000 Pirates and all kinds of other crazy shit. 0.99
01:24:02.000 You know, if they know that you're locked in the ground in New Zealand, they just wait outside the bunker hole. 0.99
01:24:07.000 Although New Zealand's kind of got this wrapped up.
01:24:11.000 They do.
01:24:11.000 They have no deaths now.
01:24:12.000 There's like no new deaths.
01:24:14.000 But you're like a thousand miles from Australia.
01:24:16.000 Like New Zealand is definitely like, hey, you ain't getting in.
01:24:19.000 Yeah, they're not letting anybody in.
01:24:21.000 New Zealand's amazing.
01:24:22.000 I've never been, but from what I've learned from people that go there all the time and my friends that actually live there... 0.98
01:24:28.000 It's fucking beautiful. 0.99
01:24:30.000 That's what I hear. 0.98
01:24:30.000 I have a friend who runs motorcycle tours in New Zealand, and I keep saying, like, yeah, one year I'm going to go. 0.98
01:24:36.000 That's another thing that's going to happen.
01:24:38.000 All the stuff we've been, I'm going to do one day, when the world opens up, we're going to start doing that.
01:24:44.000 I think we're all going to start doing, oh, I was going to do this one day.
01:24:48.000 We're going to start doing more of that.
01:24:50.000 I hope so.
01:24:50.000 I hope a lot of people get out of dead-end jobs.
01:24:52.000 Look, when your job dissolves and you're forced to do something else, there's a lot of people that got stuck in a situation in life and they were on momentum.
01:25:01.000 And now that momentum has completely stopped.
01:25:03.000 You get all that time to yourself, all that time to reassess.
01:25:07.000 Well, I had that thought, like, what would I do if there's no more stand-up?
01:25:12.000 I don't know.
01:25:14.000 I don't know.
01:25:15.000 It's a bummer.
01:25:15.000 It's a bummer of a thought.
01:25:16.000 But I also...
01:25:17.000 Because it's got to mean there's no more restaurants, too.
01:25:20.000 Yeah.
01:25:20.000 I don't think it'll go away because, you know, I've had those interviews.
01:25:24.000 And comics tell the truth.
01:25:26.000 Like, we're the truth tellers.
01:25:28.000 We always have been.
01:25:29.000 We can still do that in a podcast.
01:25:30.000 So we'll still be around.
01:25:33.000 I say we're going to survive.
01:25:35.000 Stand-up's going to survive.
01:25:36.000 It's going to take a while.
01:25:37.000 It's going to be different.
01:25:38.000 I have no idea.
01:25:39.000 If you had to guess, if you had to bet, if we bet $100, when does the comedy store open up again?
01:25:46.000 Summer.
01:25:48.000 At like half capacity, you think?
01:25:50.000 People wear masks?
01:25:51.000 Yeah, I don't know if they wear masks or we just have to sit a certain distance from each other.
01:25:57.000 But I think, again, I think they're experimenting now.
01:26:00.000 I think these opening up, you know, places in Georgia.
01:26:04.000 What do you think is going to happen with that, if you had a guess?
01:26:07.000 I think it's too soon.
01:26:09.000 Do you?
01:26:09.000 I think it's too soon.
01:26:10.000 Yeah, especially the other thing was, because I was reading about New Zealand, and it's almost like they're doing the exact opposite.
01:26:16.000 Like, they said the places with personal contact, the hair, nails, massage, whatever, are going to be the last places to open.
01:26:25.000 Hmm.
01:26:26.000 And I think that's what it should be.
01:26:28.000 I mean, that's very close contact when someone's doing your hair or your nails. 0.95
01:26:34.000 Someone sent me some shit from Germany where they have a line on the floor, like a caution line, and these ladies are behind the line with, like, long sticks. 1.00
01:26:40.000 At the end of the sticks, there's a comb. 0.99
01:26:43.000 At the end of the stick, there's a hairdryer.
01:26:45.000 I'm not bullshitting.
01:26:46.000 Probably.
01:26:46.000 And maybe that'll work.
01:26:48.000 But, you know, like in Georgia, like, they're opening the tattoo...
01:26:52.000 I don't think that that's an essential service you need right now.
01:26:57.000 Well, I think they don't want the tattoo artist to go out of business.
01:27:00.000 Well, yeah, that is true.
01:27:02.000 No, I get that from the small business standpoint.
01:27:04.000 When do they open it and who gets to decide?
01:27:06.000 Um...
01:27:07.000 I think you do it—well, again, they're experimenting, but I think you do it in stages, right?
01:27:12.000 So before you open the tattoo parlors, maybe we go to restaurants and sit at every other table and see how that works.
01:27:22.000 I think that's a good idea, but I don't think it's a bad idea for the tattoo artist either because you can decide to let someone in the business, right, and make them wear a mask and keep them away from you.
01:27:32.000 I mean, if you can get people tested, if you can go to a tattoo artist and say, hey, here's my test.
01:27:38.000 I got it yesterday.
01:27:39.000 Here's the results.
01:27:40.000 Why is that so hard?
01:27:42.000 We need to have some sort of a document that you can carry.
01:27:46.000 Where are your papers, Alonzo?
01:27:48.000 No, you're right.
01:27:49.000 Let me see the papers.
01:27:50.000 This was another one of that best and brightest and come together, right?
01:27:55.000 The companies...
01:27:57.000 The science companies, the government should be like, alright, drop whatever you're doing.
01:28:02.000 We don't need more Viagra.
01:28:03.000 We need a test for COVID. You know what I mean?
01:28:07.000 Develop something so we can...
01:28:09.000 Because testing is a thing.
01:28:11.000 You've got to test people.
01:28:11.000 People are locked up in their houses.
01:28:13.000 They're not going to stop making Viagra. 1.00
01:28:15.000 People are fucking like wild animals right now. 0.99
01:28:19.000 Nine months from now, there's going to be an overpopulation bump like the world's never seen before. 1.00
01:28:24.000 We're gonna go from like 7 billion to 8 billion in a week. 0.99
01:28:28.000 Like, what the fuck happened? 0.99
01:28:30.000 That's gonna be the big pandemic. 0.99
01:28:32.000 The big pandemic is we're running out of delivery room, doctors.
01:28:34.000 There's not enough.
01:28:35.000 There's not enough doctors to deal with all these people shitting out kids. 0.86
01:28:41.000 Oh, man. 0.92
01:28:42.000 Well, good.
01:28:43.000 That would be a positive thing.
01:28:45.000 That's a positive.
01:28:46.000 Maybe.
01:28:46.000 But yeah, and what you said is true.
01:28:49.000 Listen, I'm not anti-tattoo artist by any means.
01:28:52.000 I got them.
01:28:52.000 I get it.
01:28:53.000 But I was just using that as an example.
01:28:55.000 I get it.
01:28:55.000 It shouldn't be the most important thing to be open.
01:28:57.000 Food stores obviously stayed open during this entire time.
01:28:59.000 They're the most important thing.
01:29:01.000 Gas stations, that's important.
01:29:02.000 But at a certain point in time, we have to figure out what is the threshold...
01:29:08.000 Should we quarantine old people and sick people from here out? 1.00
01:29:13.000 And should we let regular people go free?
01:29:15.000 And should we make testing more readily available?
01:29:17.000 Those are the things.
01:29:17.000 Make testing way more available and leave it up to people to make their own decisions at a certain point in time.
01:29:23.000 You can't just keep people locked up.
01:29:24.000 No, you can't keep them locked up because we're getting fever here in LA, right?
01:29:29.000 We were fine being locked up for those couple of weeks when it was 60 and raining.
01:29:33.000 Yeah.
01:29:34.000 But when it hit 85 and the sun is out and we don't have to go to work...
01:29:39.000 And you can't even go to the beach anymore?
01:29:40.000 Yeah, it's like, oh, now is when you can't keep people locked up.
01:29:43.000 And it's a late spring in a lot of the country, but as the weather gets warmer and people getting on each other's nerves in the house, like, that's when you gotta let, you know...
01:29:54.000 So, yeah, testing is a big thing.
01:29:56.000 And just what you said, if there's somehow you get tested and then you have proof, like, yeah, I've been tested, I'm okay.
01:30:03.000 Then you're like, okay, now you can function.
01:30:07.000 You can, like, if you're running a business, if you're running the nail salon or the tattoo place or whatever, you know, like George Wallace tweeted this thing about bowling.
01:30:17.000 He's like, don't everybody share shoes at the bowling alley?
01:30:22.000 Bowling alleys are essential? 0.99
01:30:24.000 In Georgia, bowling alleys are on list.
01:30:27.000 So, you know, before you get your bowling shoes, you've got to show them your test card.
01:30:35.000 That's going to be it.
01:30:36.000 And it is also a function of where you are, right?
01:30:41.000 Obviously, New York, where the population density is just unbelievable, it spread more and you got to be more careful.
01:30:49.000 Plus pollution, air pollution, people who smoke, there's a lot of factors.
01:30:53.000 Obesity, a lot of factors.
01:30:55.000 We're in our cars in LA so much that we don't interact as much as New York.
01:31:00.000 And then if you're in Iowa or Oklahoma, someplace where the population is more spread out, then it is going to be easier because naturally you don't encounter people as much.
01:31:12.000 Yeah, like if you have a small town, like there's a case going on with a small town in Northern California where they don't have any cases and they just want to open up.
01:31:22.000 And like, can't we just keep going to the town?
01:31:25.000 Can't we have restaurants if no one's sick?
01:31:27.000 Like as long as new people don't come into this town, this town's clean.
01:31:32.000 Yeah, but then how do you stop that?
01:31:34.000 If you have restaurants, how do you stop the people from San Francisco from driving up to your restaurants? 0.93
01:31:41.000 Dirty outsiders. 0.99
01:31:42.000 There you go. 1.00
01:31:42.000 You can't. 1.00
01:31:43.000 Because as soon as people find out that, oh, that county's opened up and they've got restaurants back there.
01:31:48.000 Well, like the beaches, right?
01:31:49.000 The L.A. beaches are closed, but Orange County and Ventura beaches are open.
01:31:53.000 No, the governor's closed the whole state down because of that.
01:31:56.000 When they were open, L.A. people just went to those places.
01:32:00.000 I was so torn on that.
01:32:01.000 On one thing, like, yeah, what if those people do get people sick? 0.98
01:32:04.000 But the other part is, man, if you're stuck in a fucking apartment, like, the only happiness that you've gotten out of all this is when you got to go to the beach. 0.99
01:32:11.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:32:12.000 Now that's gone?
01:32:13.000 Right.
01:32:14.000 Yeah, it's a tough line.
01:32:16.000 You gotta let people out.
01:32:17.000 And when people go out, they gotta behave.
01:32:20.000 Right.
01:32:20.000 So when?
01:32:21.000 What's the number?
01:32:23.000 President Alonzo?
01:32:24.000 What should we do?
01:32:27.000 We keep the lockdown until May 15th.
01:32:29.000 And then what?
01:32:30.000 May 15th, we...
01:32:32.000 Open up the Comedy Store.
01:32:33.000 It's an essential business.
01:32:34.000 May 15th, we reassess.
01:32:36.000 We assess, where are we at?
01:32:39.000 Are there still an increased number of people getting infected?
01:32:43.000 Has it stabilized?
01:32:44.000 Right.
01:32:44.000 And what does it look like in Georgia?
01:32:46.000 And what does it look like in Texas?
01:32:47.000 As long as we got them...
01:32:49.000 What does Florida look like?
01:32:50.000 Let's see what they do.
01:32:50.000 You can't count Florida.
01:32:51.000 Ah!
01:32:54.000 You can't.
01:32:54.000 You can't count Florida.
01:32:56.000 I got friends.
01:32:57.000 I love people in Florida, but sorry, Florida.
01:32:59.000 We're just going to have to.
01:33:00.000 Yeah, we can't count you guys.
01:33:02.000 You're a different thing.
01:33:04.000 You guys are different.
01:33:05.000 That's not America.
01:33:07.000 That's Florida.
01:33:08.000 That's a weird third world country. 0.86
01:33:11.000 It's just, no, it's an alternate reality.
01:33:14.000 That's what it's like.
01:33:14.000 It's an alternate reality.
01:33:15.000 Florida's an alternate reality.
01:33:18.000 There's two Floridas, right?
01:33:20.000 Because there's coastal Florida.
01:33:22.000 There's a Florida they tell us about, which is Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Orlando, Tampa.
01:33:27.000 Then there's that middle of Florida that they don't talk about.
01:33:33.000 Swampland, where they made that Leonard Skinner music.
01:33:36.000 What, Jamie?
01:33:36.000 That order from the governor, I saw it going around last night.
01:33:40.000 It was an order that was sent.
01:33:42.000 It was going around as a memo that was sent to Sheriff's Office.
01:33:44.000 As I'm reading right now, it's not an official order.
01:33:48.000 So why did all these stories... 0.99
01:33:49.000 Goddamn these fake news sites. 0.98
01:33:51.000 These sites were saying the governor said he's closing down all the beaches. 0.98
01:33:57.000 So what is it?
01:33:58.000 Pull the story up so I can see it.
01:34:00.000 Previous reports say there were conversations that they were having.
01:34:02.000 Maybe he panicked.
01:34:04.000 I want to get rehired.
01:34:06.000 Previous reports for Newsom's orders indicated he planned to close all the state's beaches, which drew widespread criticism from some state officials.
01:34:14.000 When asked what changed his mind on closing state beaches, Newsom said that they never did, and this is exactly the conversations we were having.
01:34:26.000 So they never did close all the beaches?
01:34:29.000 When is this?
01:34:30.000 This is from five hours ago.
01:34:31.000 Okay.
01:34:32.000 Officials in other parts of California spoken out against a blanket beach ban in California. 0.92
01:34:36.000 Sheriff William Hansel, who oversees Humboldt County, Holla, in the northern part of the state where they get high as fuck, said he strongly opposes the order and indicated in a tweet that he would not enforce it. 0.71
01:34:49.000 If an order is issued, I believe, violates our constitutional rights. 0.92
01:34:54.000 I will not enforce it.
01:34:55.000 Good for you, Sheriff.
01:34:57.000 Yeah, only...
01:34:58.000 Don't go there if you don't want to get sick.
01:35:00.000 I wish he hadn't said it that way.
01:35:03.000 He's right, though.
01:35:04.000 He's right, but...
01:35:04.000 It does violate your constitutional rights.
01:35:06.000 But then, see, the problem with that is...
01:35:10.000 That brings out the crazies, right?
01:35:13.000 The angry people.
01:35:15.000 But he's responded, look, Newsom's actually reacting to this.
01:35:18.000 Said his office received letters regarding the beach closures, but said that his decision is guided on what local health officials think is appropriate and what's not.
01:35:27.000 When you pull back too quickly, you literally put people's lives at risk.
01:35:30.000 People are literally dying.
01:35:32.000 I don't like when a governor uses literally twice like that.
01:35:35.000 I'm a stickler for some sort of grammar.
01:35:37.000 Because the decisions that were done without a real frame of focus on public health first, Newsom said, that's what ultimately guide our decisions.
01:35:45.000 That's good.
01:35:46.000 But you've got to also give people freedom.
01:35:49.000 You've got to give them the opportunity.
01:35:50.000 If they don't want to go to the beach, there should be a way you can avoid going.
01:35:55.000 If everybody else is still locked down, how much does it really spread if people go to the beach and then come home?
01:36:00.000 Well, this is the thing, and this is where common sense...
01:36:04.000 I get the constitutionality of it, but when you say that, that angers people.
01:36:08.000 That word angers people.
01:36:10.000 So you use common sense.
01:36:11.000 And I get what the sheriff's saying.
01:36:13.000 If you're in Humboldt County at a small beach, that's not the same as opening Santa Monica.
01:36:18.000 So you look at individually...
01:36:21.000 Where are you at?
01:36:22.000 What's the population?
01:36:23.000 Who's going to the beach?
01:36:25.000 And that's why, yeah, you leave it up more, it's more of a local decision because California, the coastline is so big and so long, there are some places where it's going to be packed and other places where it's not.
01:36:37.000 And the places where it's not going to be so packed, let them open.
01:36:40.000 Those places are weird.
01:36:41.000 Those places where you go to like Redwood country, you eat at a bed and breakfast and the people who run the place are odd.
01:36:48.000 But let them open.
01:36:50.000 But you can't open Venice because that's just going to be too dangerous.
01:36:55.000 And that's why when I say the constitutional word, because once you say constitutional, then you bring out these people that want to make it a protest and want to make it a thing.
01:37:05.000 And these are people who don't even care about going to the beach.
01:37:07.000 They just want to make it a thing.
01:37:09.000 It's like, don't fuel that fire.
01:37:12.000 Don't throw logs on them.
01:37:13.000 Those are the dudes who want to ranch on public land for free, and they pull out guns and try to keep the feds away from their cows. 0.85
01:37:20.000 Like the guns.
01:37:21.000 That was the thing, right?
01:37:22.000 When they first said guns are not essential, then they pulled back on that. 0.99
01:37:28.000 Well, it was essential, and then they decided to stop it from being essential because there's giant lines outside a gun store, and people were kind of tweaking, and then people complained about that, and then they stepped in and said it's not, and everybody said, fuck you, and then they go, okay, we're kidding. 0.98
01:37:42.000 You can have your guns. 0.91
01:37:43.000 So let me tell you, because I directly experienced this last week.
01:37:46.000 I bought a gun.
01:37:47.000 I bought a gun last week.
01:37:49.000 This is the first time you've ever owned a gun?
01:37:50.000 No.
01:37:51.000 No, I owned a gun back in the 80s.
01:37:53.000 I used to target shoot with some guys I worked with up in Oakland.
01:37:58.000 But I bought a gun, right, because all of this went down.
01:38:03.000 And people are like, why'd you buy a gun?
01:38:04.000 I said, because The Purge went from a movie to a documentary, right?
01:38:11.000 Like, I don't want to be the only one, you know.
01:38:13.000 But the way I had to do it was you go online and you make an appointment with the gun store and then you show up and you wait outside.
01:38:23.000 Like, they come.
01:38:24.000 What did you buy?
01:38:25.000 I bought a Glock.45.
01:38:28.000 Oh.
01:38:29.000 Stepping up.
01:38:29.000 Yeah.
01:38:30.000 So I checked with the gangbangers.
01:38:33.000 They were like, yeah, this is the one you hold sideways.
01:38:37.000 But anyway, you had to wait outside, you know, six feet apart or whatever, and they brought you in one at a time, and then I was able to do it.
01:38:46.000 I did the background check.
01:38:47.000 By the way, the people who fight against the test and the background check, like...
01:38:53.000 Do you know how easy these questions are?
01:38:58.000 They're very easy.
01:38:59.000 There's questions on there like, are you a felon?
01:39:02.000 Yes.
01:39:03.000 Is there currently a restraining order out against you?
01:39:07.000 Like, well, who would check yes on that box?
01:39:11.000 Yeah.
01:39:12.000 Well, you have to.
01:39:14.000 Because if they find out that you're lying, you'll never get a gun.
01:39:16.000 Right.
01:39:16.000 Well, I'm pretty confident that I'll pass and I'll get it.
01:39:20.000 And the guy was cool.
01:39:22.000 This was one of my concerns, because I don't know what gun store to go to, right?
01:39:28.000 So I said, man, don't let me walk into some place where there's a big Confederate flag on the wall.
01:39:37.000 In LA? In LA County, yeah, you can find.
01:39:40.000 Listen, listen, Joe, trust me on this.
01:39:43.000 Trust me on this.
01:39:44.000 They're out there.
01:39:45.000 But anyway, no, the guy was really cool.
01:39:47.000 If you can farm country off the five.
01:39:48.000 Yeah, and the funny thing was, one of the big things was the size of my hands, right?
01:39:54.000 So I have big hands, so he's kind of like, yeah, man, you got to literally try it on and see how it fits.
01:39:59.000 And the Glock fit my hand perfectly.
01:40:01.000 Really well.
01:40:02.000 And then I was asking about shotguns and he was like, tell him, because I've fired shotguns, I've done that skeet shoot and stuff, and he was talking to me about tactical shotguns.
01:40:12.000 And so he said, yeah, you want to get, he said, you probably want one of these because you don't really have to aim too well when you got one of these.
01:40:21.000 You just blast in the direction.
01:40:23.000 I was like, all right, that sounds good.
01:40:24.000 So I'm probably going to get one of those too.
01:40:26.000 But, uh, Yeah.
01:40:28.000 But it was cool.
01:40:29.000 And, you know, I get it.
01:40:30.000 Like, you know, it's funny because people say that people have accused me of being anti-gun.
01:40:35.000 And I'm like, no, I'm not anti-gun.
01:40:36.000 I'm pro-common sense.
01:40:38.000 I'm pro-common sense.
01:40:40.000 What were your thoughts on gun laws before this?
01:40:42.000 Did you think that people don't need to have guns?
01:40:44.000 No, I never thought people don't need to have guns.
01:40:45.000 So why did they think you did?
01:40:47.000 Because I've talked about, like, we don't need 50-round clips.
01:40:51.000 You know, I had a joke.
01:40:51.000 I said, listen, I got a 50-round clip for self-defense.
01:40:54.000 I'm like, if 50 people want to kill you at the same time, maybe it's you.
01:41:00.000 You know? 0.97
01:41:02.000 Perhaps there's some part of your personality you need to look at.
01:41:05.000 I'll tell you one thing I've always got about guns.
01:41:07.000 I'm a motorcycle guy, I'm a car guy, and I know some gun people, and from the mechanical, artistic point, you know what I mean?
01:41:16.000 I get that.
01:41:17.000 There are guns that are beautiful, just from a mechanical standpoint.
01:41:22.000 This is a beautiful thing, and if you want to shoot it and shoot targets and this and that, great.
01:41:28.000 If you want to hunt like you hunt, I called you.
01:41:31.000 Remember, I texted your wife. 1.00
01:41:32.000 I said, Joe, if this shit goes down, I'm coming to your bunker because I know you know how to kill animals. 1.00
01:41:38.000 Like, I got a friend who knows how to kill animals. 1.00
01:41:40.000 I'm going to go hang out with him. 0.55
01:41:42.000 It would be way more difficult than that.
01:41:44.000 I had this conversation earlier today.
01:41:45.000 Someone was asking me, would you be okay?
01:41:47.000 And I'm like, you probably would not be okay with no civilization because you'd break an ankle and you die.
01:41:53.000 You get an infection and you die.
01:41:55.000 And good luck finding animals all the time.
01:41:57.000 And what if you run out of arrows?
01:41:58.000 Or what if you run out of bullets?
01:41:59.000 You can't make your own bullets?
01:42:01.000 It could get real weird real quick.
01:42:03.000 But all of that aside, those are the people who I'm like, those are the ones we need to watch.
01:42:08.000 The ones who are like, I've got to have this whole bunker full of ammo and this and that.
01:42:13.000 I have 150,000 guns.
01:42:15.000 The government's coming to get me and all that.
01:42:17.000 Those are the ones.
01:42:18.000 So when I talk about gun laws, that's why I say common sense.
01:42:22.000 There's a common sense level to it.
01:42:25.000 You know, that I'm okay with.
01:42:27.000 But no, I'm not anti-gun.
01:42:31.000 The thing about people is they think it's a slippery slope.
01:42:34.000 So if you say, I am for the Second Amendment, but I don't think you should have 50 round clips, or I don't think you should have that, then they're like, well, who gets to decide?
01:42:42.000 Who gets to decide?
01:42:44.000 Common sense.
01:42:45.000 You know, who should decide should be the majority.
01:42:48.000 It should be people...
01:42:49.000 But again, this is where...
01:42:52.000 We're all one side or the other and common sense is in the middle.
01:42:55.000 If we had a government, a Congress, whatever, that could debate and talk about and have input and say, hey, the hunters say that we need this and, you know, now it all makes sense, then you come up with a reasonable gun thing.
01:43:11.000 I think that cars are a good example.
01:43:13.000 Like, we regulated guns the way we regulate cars, in a sense, you have to have a license, and when you sell it, even privately, if I sell my car to you, I notify the government, like, hey, I just sold my car to Joe, VIN number, blah, blah, blah, he's now responsible for it, you know?
01:43:28.000 Hold right there for a second, because I need to find out if this is true.
01:43:31.000 Someone just told me that in Georgia they're going to let kids have driver's licenses now.
01:43:34.000 That's 100% true?
01:43:35.000 That you don't have to go through a driver's test now?
01:43:39.000 The last step of going to the DMV. Can we pull out an article on that so I can read what the parameters are?
01:43:44.000 That is terrible.
01:43:46.000 Do you remember how bad you were a driver when you first started?
01:43:48.000 You know what?
01:43:49.000 Again, Joe, when they do this, I'm like, yeah, why the hell not?
01:43:52.000 Why the hell not?
01:43:53.000 Let's give the kids... 0.76
01:43:53.000 We're going to see six-year-olds with no experience. 0.76
01:43:56.000 Just go ahead.
01:43:57.000 ...leaves road test requirement for driver's license during coronavirus.
01:44:01.000 Wow.
01:44:01.000 Right, because why would you need a road test to drive a car?
01:44:04.000 Look at this.
01:44:05.000 The state government will rely on the honor system with parents giving young drivers the okay to obtain a license. 1.00
01:44:11.000 In fucking Georgia! 1.00
01:44:14.000 Jesus Christ! 1.00
01:44:16.000 Joe, once again, once again, common sense.
01:44:19.000 See, now that, you saw that, and your common sense meter went, oh hell...
01:44:25.000 Georgia's reckless. 0.93
01:44:26.000 They're letting people go to barbershops, they're letting people get a license with no test.
01:44:31.000 You know Georgia's right next to Florida.
01:44:33.000 I'm just saying.
01:44:34.000 Real close.
01:44:35.000 But I would think of, no offense Florida, but I would think of Georgia above Florida.
01:44:40.000 I think Atlanta above any city that is in Florida.
01:44:44.000 No offense Florida.
01:44:46.000 Miami's a party city, all the rest of them.
01:44:48.000 There's not a city that has the kind of sophistication that Atlanta has.
01:44:52.000 Right, but Atlanta is an island within Georgia.
01:44:54.000 Yes, that's the problem.
01:44:56.000 Atlanta's like an island.
01:44:58.000 I know, so we look at Georgia and we think, oh yeah, Atlanta.
01:45:01.000 I've watched that Real Housewives show. 1.00
01:45:03.000 The rest of Georgia, there's a lot of wild places.
01:45:08.000 It's like California, right?
01:45:10.000 Everyone thinks of L.A. and San Francisco.
01:45:13.000 But there's a lot of California in between L.A. and San Francisco that is different.
01:45:19.000 Like Humboldt.
01:45:20.000 Like the guy that thinks they're violating the constitutional rights and he's not going to enforce it.
01:45:25.000 Yeah, it's California on the way up to San Francisco.
01:45:28.000 When you take that five, that's what I was talking about.
01:45:30.000 That's farm country with anti-abortion billboards.
01:45:33.000 That's right.
01:45:33.000 And the whole water thing.
01:45:35.000 They're fighting against the cities for the water.
01:45:38.000 Exactly.
01:45:38.000 Water rights.
01:45:39.000 Yeah.
01:45:39.000 There's a lot going on.
01:45:41.000 So, yeah, I think that, again, if it worked, if the system worked, we'd have a system of common sense.
01:45:49.000 Unfortunately, we just have one extreme or the other.
01:45:52.000 The thing about no guns, it's like...
01:45:55.000 There's already millions of guns out there, so that's impossible.
01:45:59.000 That's an unreasonable thing to say.
01:46:02.000 It is, but it's one of those conversations that doesn't have an answer.
01:46:04.000 It's not a clean answer.
01:46:05.000 So when people bring that up, they go, well, Australia did it.
01:46:08.000 I'm like, okay. 0.97
01:46:09.000 First of all, A, there's only 20 million people in the whole fucking continent, and it's the size of the contiguous United States. 0.96
01:46:15.000 So there's more people in California than there is in Australia. 1.00
01:46:18.000 So shut the fuck up. 1.00
01:46:20.000 Yeah, and they also did it over a period of time. 1.00
01:46:23.000 They did it pretty quickly.
01:46:24.000 And they did it in a moment of outrage.
01:46:27.000 Exactly.
01:46:28.000 They did it in a moment of outrage and unfortunately used us as an example.
01:46:33.000 Yeah.
01:46:33.000 You can still get guns over there for hunting, though.
01:46:35.000 People hunt with guns over there.
01:46:36.000 Well, Canada.
01:46:37.000 People hunt in Canada, you know.
01:46:39.000 And Canada had a mass shooting not too long ago.
01:46:42.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:46:45.000 So, you know, yeah, like you said, it's one of those without an answer.
01:46:49.000 That's the problem.
01:46:50.000 If you definitively think that this is the way and you don't see the other side of it, then you're going to always have this polarized argument.
01:46:58.000 Right.
01:46:59.000 And if people would lose that, if they lose the I have to win.
01:47:04.000 Right.
01:47:05.000 And just like, let's come up with a compromise that works.
01:47:08.000 But the gun people, particularly NRA people, they don't think you should give up any ground.
01:47:12.000 Because if you give up any ground from where we are right now, it's just a slippery slope.
01:47:16.000 They're gonna keep taking.
01:47:17.000 And they do have a point with some people.
01:47:20.000 Now, a lot of those people that used to think like that now are buying guns, which is hilarious.
01:47:26.000 A buddy of mine's wife was, you're never having a gun, you're never having a gun. 1.00
01:47:29.000 This shit went down, you need to get a gun. 1.00
01:47:31.000 He said it was a 180 switch and it happened immediately when everything was shutting down. 1.00
01:47:36.000 You start thinking of people in their worst case possibility rather than, oh, we live in a nice area, we're fine.
01:47:45.000 Yeah, and again...
01:47:47.000 You're right.
01:47:48.000 Either extreme is impossible.
01:47:50.000 Neither one wants to give up an inch.
01:47:52.000 And you both have to give up an inch.
01:47:54.000 You know, neither one wants to give an inch, but you both have to give an inch.
01:47:58.000 And again, this is what we were talking about earlier, where the federal government does need to be involved in a sense where you have like Chicago...
01:48:08.000 That has a huge gun problem, partly because you can just drive over to Indiana and buy anything you want and bring it to Chicago.
01:48:14.000 Is that what the problem is?
01:48:15.000 Yeah.
01:48:16.000 How close is Indiana to Chicago?
01:48:18.000 Gary, Indiana to Chicago, I think it's like two, three hour drive.
01:48:21.000 Oh, wow.
01:48:21.000 And that's where guns come from.
01:48:22.000 I grew up in New York City, right?
01:48:25.000 New York City has some of, if not the strictest gun laws in the country.
01:48:32.000 I knew guys.
01:48:33.000 You go down south, you go to Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, buy any gun you want, drive up and sell them in New York.
01:48:40.000 Because remember, there's no border between states.
01:48:44.000 You drive.
01:48:45.000 I hope that stays the way it is.
01:48:46.000 I know that's a terrible thing that people are bringing guns from Virginia, but I hope the border thing stays the same. 1.00
01:48:51.000 If you want to drive across the country, you can just go.
01:48:54.000 Yeah, I think the border should stay the same, but I think there has to be some sort of Federal oversight to this.
01:49:02.000 Of what?
01:49:05.000 Again, what you can buy, what's required to buy it.
01:49:10.000 What's required?
01:49:11.000 If you had to provide ID to show who you are and where you live, so now if you're in— To buy a gun, you mean?
01:49:17.000 Yeah.
01:49:18.000 You should have more than that.
01:49:19.000 You should definitely do that, too, though.
01:49:20.000 But that's what I'm saying.
01:49:21.000 So now if you're in one of the more lax states, like Virginia—and I'm just using these examples.
01:49:27.000 I don't know specific laws, but a Virginia or Arizona or something like that— You know, you can't just go there, live in California, live in New York, and go there and buy one.
01:49:37.000 Like, you gotta prove, like, yeah, I live in Arizona.
01:49:40.000 So I can buy the...
01:49:41.000 So I'm subject to Arizona's laws.
01:49:44.000 Yeah, how does that work?
01:49:45.000 If you're a citizen of the United States and you drive to Arizona, can you just buy a gun like you live in Arizona?
01:49:51.000 From what I understand, and listen, I'm far from an expert, and I know there's experts listening.
01:49:56.000 We should probably Google this.
01:49:57.000 But the gun shows, I think that's where they said you have a lot of... 0.97
01:50:01.000 A lot of fuckery in the gun shows.
01:50:03.000 Yeah, because the gun shows is just one guy, one person selling to another, and that's where it gets really vague as to what the rules are. 0.91
01:50:10.000 Yeah, that's the loophole. 0.99
01:50:10.000 People buy all kinds of illegal shit. 0.99
01:50:12.000 Right. 0.99
01:50:13.000 So I think in a gun store you need to provide ID and stuff like that, but the gun shows, yeah, it gets really kind of a gray area.
01:50:22.000 Didn't Bruno, didn't Sacha Baron Cohen, this Bruno character, go to a gun show?
01:50:27.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:50:27.000 Super gay character? 0.98
01:50:32.000 Yeah, guns are fun. 1.00
01:50:34.000 The problem is people are morons. 1.00
01:50:35.000 The problem is not that guns aren't fun. 1.00
01:50:40.000 I like guns.
01:50:41.000 I have friends who are really gun nuts.
01:50:44.000 I have friends that have so many guns, they don't know how many guns they have.
01:50:46.000 They love guns, and they love them for the mechanical thing.
01:50:49.000 It's their hobby.
01:50:50.000 Some people are really into muscle cars, some people into motorcycles.
01:50:52.000 And again, I'm absolutely cool with that because most of the people...
01:50:55.000 I knew one guy who he was one I'd be worried about.
01:50:59.000 He was one like, hmm...
01:51:01.000 Yeah, this guy's waiting for a reason.
01:51:03.000 I have a friend who's a gun nut.
01:51:05.000 He got carjacked and he shot a guy and killed him.
01:51:08.000 But most of the gun guys I knew, they collected them.
01:51:12.000 Like you said, it was like muscle cars or motorcycles or whatever.
01:51:16.000 It was just their thing.
01:51:17.000 And they were good.
01:51:19.000 And the other thing is...
01:51:20.000 The gun safety. 1.00
01:51:22.000 You know, these idiots, like there's so many stories like, yeah, the gun was in the backseat and the kid shot the other kid. 1.00
01:51:28.000 And it's like, come on, there has to be some kind of safety and liability issue. 1.00
01:51:37.000 What's morons? 1.00
01:51:39.000 It's not you. 1.00
01:51:39.000 You would never do that. 1.00
01:51:40.000 I would never do that. 1.00
01:51:41.000 It's the problem is you're taking something with godlike powers and you give it to morons. 1.00
01:51:46.000 So there has to be that. 1.00
01:51:48.000 You have to somehow regulate the moron. 1.00
01:51:52.000 Give them a simple test. 1.00
01:51:53.000 You know, man, we've talked to a few people, and yeah, no.
01:51:56.000 It shouldn't be just, are you a felon?
01:51:59.000 It should be like a competency test.
01:52:01.000 Right.
01:52:01.000 You know, I mean, you need a competency test to drive a car, because a car can be deadly.
01:52:04.000 Well, no, you don't.
01:52:05.000 No, you don't.
01:52:06.000 You just need to go to Georgia.
01:52:07.000 Georgia.
01:52:08.000 Just need to move there.
01:52:10.000 They're probably taking so much heat for that right now.
01:52:13.000 People are probably freaking out.
01:52:14.000 But then again, maybe not because it's Georgia.
01:52:16.000 Yeah.
01:52:17.000 And again, where are you?
01:52:19.000 So if you're way out on a farm in Georgia and you want to drive the pickup truck, Then that's probably okay.
01:52:25.000 Yeah, right.
01:52:26.000 Exactly.
01:52:26.000 But if you're in downtown Atlanta at 16 and your parents are like, yeah, you can have a license.
01:52:32.000 What the hell?
01:52:33.000 Oh my God.
01:52:34.000 People are just cutting people off and hitting blinkers and you're going to be in a panic.
01:52:39.000 That's hilarious. 0.99
01:52:40.000 But it's such a poorly fucking thought out idea. 0.99
01:52:44.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:52:45.000 Who decided that?
01:52:48.000 Who decided that, you know, screw the road test?
01:52:52.000 It was the governor of Alabama that didn't want to shut down.
01:52:56.000 She goes, we're not California.
01:52:58.000 Was that what it was?
01:52:59.000 Yeah, it's like, no, you're not.
01:53:00.000 We're not California.
01:53:01.000 We're not California.
01:53:02.000 Craziest place in Alabama.
01:53:04.000 Have you been to Huntsville, Alabama?
01:53:06.000 I've been to Dothan.
01:53:08.000 Dothan, Alabama.
01:53:09.000 I did a UFC there in 1997. First UFC I ever did.
01:53:12.000 Oh, okay.
01:53:13.000 I've been to a couple different places in Alabama.
01:53:16.000 Well, here's the thing.
01:53:17.000 Huntsville, Alabama?
01:53:19.000 Rocket scientists.
01:53:21.000 It's where NASA is.
01:53:23.000 When I drove in, there's a Saturn V rocket. 0.99
01:53:26.000 Holy shit. 0.97
01:53:27.000 It's the last that you're like... 0.99
01:53:29.000 This is Alabama.
01:53:31.000 Literally, they are rocket scientists.
01:53:33.000 Some of the smartest people.
01:53:36.000 Imagine the rocket scientists and the locals.
01:53:39.000 That's exactly it.
01:53:41.000 It's the last thing you would expect.
01:53:43.000 It blew my mind.
01:53:45.000 Look at that.
01:53:47.000 U.S. Army.
01:53:48.000 These are literally some of the smartest people in the country.
01:53:53.000 In the world.
01:53:53.000 Yeah.
01:53:54.000 And there they are.
01:53:55.000 In Huntsville, Alabama.
01:53:57.000 I bet they have good food there, though.
01:53:58.000 Yeah, they had all kind of good food.
01:54:00.000 Southern people know how to eat.
01:54:02.000 It was one of those things that you're like, man, this is insane.
01:54:07.000 It's just weird.
01:54:09.000 I didn't expect it there.
01:54:11.000 Isn't that funny when you think about that, that people have been cooking over fire forever, but Southern people were like, hold on.
01:54:18.000 Slow it down a little.
01:54:20.000 Let's slow it down a little. 1.00
01:54:21.000 Let's slow cook that motherfucker with smoke. 1.00
01:54:24.000 Because they're not worried about it being healthy. 1.00
01:54:26.000 That too.
01:54:27.000 Oh yeah, their sauces.
01:54:29.000 I want some chicken fried chicken with a cream sauce.
01:54:36.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
01:54:38.000 Chicken fried steak is fucking delicious. 0.99
01:54:43.000 When it's done right, man. 0.99
01:54:46.000 But then they take it too far.
01:54:48.000 Now we're deep frying Twinkies.
01:54:50.000 You're like, okay, stop.
01:54:52.000 So your heart just stops.
01:54:55.000 But chicken fried steak, when done right, with that gravy and some mashed potatoes.
01:54:59.000 I remember one time we did a show in Georgia at the club.
01:55:04.000 What was the club there?
01:55:05.000 Was it the Funny Bone?
01:55:06.000 The Punchline.
01:55:07.000 Punchline Atlanta.
01:55:08.000 We did that club, and then afterwards we went to this local diner that had chicken fried steak, and I was like, oh my god. 0.98
01:55:16.000 It was so fucking good, man. 0.94
01:55:19.000 They know how to make food. 0.98
01:55:21.000 It was insane.
01:55:23.000 You get some sweet potatoes and this and that, and then, you know...
01:55:27.000 Some cobbler for dessert.
01:55:29.000 But nobody's counting calories.
01:55:31.000 Nobody's counting calories.
01:55:32.000 The people that probably earned the right to make that food back in the day were probably working some crazy hours on some farm.
01:55:42.000 Yeah, you do physical labor all day. 0.98
01:55:46.000 Who the fuck invented all those foods? 0.99
01:55:48.000 Who was the first guy to look at a barrel and look at another barrel and be like, I need a barrel where I cook on and then another one next to it so the smoke's coming in on the side and slowly cook this fucker. 0.99
01:56:00.000 Somebody did it by accident. 0.98
01:56:03.000 And then they were like, man, that was good.
01:56:05.000 Or maybe they just, like, cook something.
01:56:08.000 Like, they go, oh, I need to cook this.
01:56:11.000 Like, I don't want to cook it right now.
01:56:13.000 I'm going to, like, just kind of put a little bit of a fire and just let it sit for a while.
01:56:18.000 I don't have the time to pay attention to it.
01:56:20.000 I'll come back to it in an hour.
01:56:21.000 Let it cook all day.
01:56:22.000 Or they tasted the smoke in something.
01:56:25.000 And they're like, man, that's good.
01:56:27.000 How do we just get that flavor?
01:56:29.000 I don't know.
01:56:30.000 But thank God for them.
01:56:31.000 Thank God for them.
01:56:32.000 Because they do know how...
01:56:34.000 Is that an American idea?
01:56:36.000 No.
01:56:36.000 Torrey Kiln Smokehouse, the first smoking device in smoking history.
01:56:41.000 And what did they cook there?
01:56:42.000 Was that salmon?
01:56:45.000 People love smoked salmon.
01:56:46.000 It just says meat.
01:56:48.000 Just meat?
01:56:48.000 Scotland.
01:56:49.000 Oh, yeah, because in Montreal, smoked meat is like...
01:56:53.000 Smoked meat?
01:56:53.000 That's what they call like deli meats.
01:56:55.000 Yeah.
01:56:55.000 Yeah.
01:56:56.000 Well, it's something like pastrami.
01:56:58.000 Like pastrami.
01:56:58.000 Yeah.
01:56:58.000 It's something like pastrami, but it melts in your mouth.
01:57:00.000 Oh, it's so good.
01:57:01.000 Montreal?
01:57:02.000 Yeah.
01:57:02.000 Oh my god, it's so good.
01:57:03.000 The place where you line up outside.
01:57:05.000 What is that place called?
01:57:07.000 I don't know how I'm forgetting the name.
01:57:10.000 Now, here's a place.
01:57:12.000 You talk about social distancing.
01:57:14.000 You just had to sit at the bench next to whoever and eat your smoked meat.
01:57:20.000 And then as soon as you finished, they were like, alright, get out.
01:57:23.000 Someone's waiting for your seat.
01:57:25.000 That's not the names of the places.
01:57:27.000 I feel like it was like a guy's name.
01:57:29.000 It was like a dude's name.
01:57:31.000 It's like Frank's or something like that.
01:57:33.000 Someone smoked meat.
01:57:34.000 But it's a smoked meat.
01:57:36.000 Don't look up smokehouse.
01:57:38.000 Look up smoked meat.
01:57:40.000 Yeah, there you go.
01:57:41.000 See, there it is.
01:57:42.000 Smoked meat.
01:57:43.000 See if there's a restaurant that shows.
01:57:47.000 As much as we've done the festival.
01:57:49.000 I don't think it's Augie's Deli.
01:57:50.000 No, it's not Augie's Deli.
01:57:52.000 Schwartz's Deli.
01:57:53.000 That's it.
01:57:54.000 That's it.
01:57:55.000 Look at that.
01:57:55.000 12,000 reviews.
01:57:57.000 All five stars.
01:57:59.000 Yep. 0.98
01:58:00.000 It's fucking good! 0.99
01:58:01.000 You wait in line, you get your smoked meat, you sit down next to whoever, you eat it, and you get the hell out. 1.00
01:58:09.000 Oh shit, they're open. 1.00
01:58:11.000 Of course they're open. 1.00
01:58:12.000 I guess they're probably doing to-go in Montreal.
01:58:13.000 It's so cold up there, that virus doesn't have a chance.
01:58:16.000 The virus probably dies as soon as it comes out of your mouth.
01:58:20.000 Virus in Winnipeg.
01:58:21.000 I remember the first time I was in Montreal in December.
01:58:22.000 They're wishing for a virus in Winnipeg.
01:58:24.000 I know, right?
01:58:26.000 That's what it looks like, too. 0.96
01:58:27.000 Goddamn, it looks good. 0.98
01:58:28.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:58:30.000 The Jews know how to make those goddamn meat sandwiches. 1.00
01:58:34.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:58:35.000 Pastrami Rubin from Cantor's?
01:58:37.000 Yes.
01:58:37.000 Oh, so good.
01:58:40.000 I wonder if they're open.
01:58:42.000 Are Cantor's open?
01:58:42.000 Is Cantor's open right now?
01:58:44.000 I hope we don't lose too many restaurants, man.
01:58:47.000 I'm real scared of that.
01:58:48.000 We're going to lose a lot of the private, you know, the ones that aren't part of a chain or whatever.
01:58:54.000 We gotta support them.
01:58:56.000 That whole thing was crazy where like Ruth's Chris gets 20 million dollars and you know all of that.
01:59:02.000 Well I guess they think of it from an economic perspective.
01:59:05.000 Ruth's Chris employs you know 50,000 people or whatever it is in all the different locations.
01:59:11.000 You know what it was?
01:59:12.000 It was that they went by individual restaurants.
01:59:16.000 So, like, if you had, I think if you had over 6,000 employees or something, you were considered a big business, but each restaurant only has, you know, 40, 50 people.
01:59:26.000 So that's how they got the money.
01:59:28.000 What?
01:59:29.000 So they got a small business?
01:59:31.000 Right, yeah, they got small business.
01:59:32.000 Franchises were included in it.
01:59:33.000 What?
01:59:34.000 Franchises had stores under less than 50 or 500. Right, they count each one.
01:59:37.000 They don't count the whole nationwide corporation.
01:59:40.000 They count each one, and that's why they got the money.
01:59:42.000 So individual Ruth Chris got the money. 0.97
01:59:45.000 So you could own Alonzo Bowden's Ruth Chris.
01:59:49.000 You could have your own Ruth Chris.
01:59:50.000 Right.
01:59:51.000 Well, the theory was that this money would be divided amongst all of the restaurants.
01:59:55.000 But, of course, it wasn't going to happen.
01:59:58.000 The money was just going to go to corporate.
02:00:00.000 And then basically they got shamed out of, you know, they were like...
02:00:04.000 They were shamed.
02:00:05.000 So they gave it back?
02:00:06.000 I don't know.
02:00:07.000 Did Bruce Chris?
02:00:08.000 Yeah.
02:00:08.000 Really?
02:00:09.000 Because Steak Shack and the other places, they were like, no, we're not going to take the money.
02:00:13.000 Okay, good.
02:00:14.000 Bruce Criss take house returns a $20 million federal loan in response to public demand.
02:00:18.000 I remember Bruce Criss back when people thought butter was bad for you, they were putting butter on steaks.
02:00:23.000 Yeah. 0.98
02:00:23.000 That's back when they're like, who gives the fuck about your health? 0.98
02:00:26.000 Right. 0.99
02:00:26.000 Like butter on the steak. 0.99
02:00:27.000 And then when they realize that butter is actually good for you.
02:00:30.000 Like, like, Bruce Criss was ahead of the game.
02:00:32.000 They were the head of the game.
02:00:33.000 They were way ahead.
02:00:34.000 Did you ever hear the story of how they got that name?
02:00:38.000 Yeah, I forgot it though.
02:00:39.000 It was Chris's Steakhouse and this woman bought it and in the contract they had to keep it Chris Steakhouse.
02:00:47.000 So that's why it's Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.
02:00:50.000 Ah, good for her. 1.00
02:00:52.000 She's like, fuck you. 1.00
02:00:53.000 And then her brilliant idea, and it was a great idea, she said that, I think it was originally like in Louisiana and Texas, and she said, these businessmen travel, and everywhere they go, they're going to want to eat steak. 1.00
02:01:06.000 So she started opening up...
02:01:09.000 Where these guys went in business so that they would recognize the restaurant.
02:01:13.000 She's a very smart woman.
02:01:14.000 Very smart woman.
02:01:15.000 That's a very smart move.
02:01:16.000 And that's how she built the franchise. 1.00
02:01:18.000 That's very accurate.
02:01:19.000 That's how she built the franchise. 1.00
02:01:21.000 If I'm with my friends and we're going to go eat somewhere, we look for a steakhouse.
02:01:24.000 Right.
02:01:25.000 Always.
02:01:25.000 And if you recognize one and you know it's good, then that's where you go.
02:01:30.000 Yeah.
02:01:30.000 Good move.
02:01:32.000 That's a good move.
02:01:33.000 Yeah.
02:01:33.000 Yeah, the whole steakhouse thing, that's a very uniquely, at least we look at it that way, a very uniquely American thing.
02:01:42.000 I know they have steakhouses other places, but the sheer numbers of steakhouses we have over here?
02:01:47.000 I think we have the number, but those Brazilian steakhouses?
02:01:50.000 Oh, chuchascarillas.
02:01:51.000 Where they just walk around with the meat.
02:01:54.000 Now, that's a male thing, right?
02:01:57.000 You take a woman to a restaurant, like, look, they've got unlimited meat. 1.00
02:02:03.000 All you can eat, meat.
02:02:06.000 Men just like, yeah, just bring me more. 0.80
02:02:08.000 Just keep bringing me meat.
02:02:09.000 Fogo de Chão in Beverly Hills? 0.94
02:02:11.000 Absolutely.
02:02:12.000 That place will wreck you.
02:02:13.000 Yeah, you put the green square up. 1.00
02:02:15.000 You will flip that bitch over the red. 1.00
02:02:17.000 You will give up. 1.00
02:02:18.000 You will give up.
02:02:20.000 Sometimes they just keep coming one after another.
02:02:22.000 Chicken leg, you know?
02:02:25.000 Filet mignon with bacon.
02:02:26.000 Yeah, and they just carve it off for you right there.
02:02:29.000 But it's like, that is such a, yeah, that's like, yeah, I'm just going to sit here and I'm going to eat meat.
02:02:34.000 I'm not going to eat again for three days.
02:02:37.000 And don't go there not hungry.
02:02:40.000 You know what I mean?
02:02:41.000 This is not a place to go worrying about what you're going to eat.
02:02:45.000 Like, they have that little salad bar over there, like, yeah, whatever.
02:02:48.000 Just keep bringing me different meat.
02:02:51.000 The green is up. 1.00
02:02:52.000 Yeah, that salad bar is bullshit. 1.00
02:02:54.000 You don't even want to fuck with that. 1.00
02:02:55.000 Unless you want to lube up the chute. 1.00
02:02:58.000 That's what you do.
02:02:59.000 Get some fiber in there.
02:03:01.000 So it kind of pushes the chute open a little bit.
02:03:05.000 Gets everything ready for the barrage of carnage.
02:03:07.000 And I think this is that time where...
02:03:11.000 For me, it's like I told you.
02:03:13.000 You're doing great.
02:03:14.000 You're staying in shape and working out.
02:03:15.000 I'm trying to keep moving.
02:03:17.000 I'm riding a bicycle here and there until you're starting to learn to jump the rope.
02:03:20.000 But I will eat something like my justification is like, well, listen, it's a deadly virus.
02:03:25.000 I don't want to die and not have had pizza. 0.99
02:03:30.000 And I know it's bullshit, but it's what I can tell myself. 1.00
02:03:34.000 That's some single shit. 1.00
02:03:36.000 That's all it is. 1.00
02:03:36.000 That's just what I tell myself to justify eating this shit at this time. 1.00
02:03:40.000 It's like, well, listen. 0.99
02:03:41.000 You live by yourself, though.
02:03:43.000 Yeah.
02:03:43.000 We have meals, because I'm eating at home with the kids and the wife, so every meal has to be healthy.
02:03:52.000 Because when you have kids, you can't feed kids bullshit. 0.97
02:03:55.000 You have to have some healthy choices. 0.99
02:03:57.000 You're teaching them to eat healthy.
02:03:59.000 Well, no, that's great.
02:04:01.000 You're not doing any working out at all?
02:04:03.000 No, I do some.
02:04:04.000 The bicycle is actually...
02:04:06.000 You go outside or inside bike?
02:04:08.000 Yeah, outside.
02:04:10.000 Inside bike, treadmill, just so boring.
02:04:13.000 I get the discipline of it, but it's boring.
02:04:15.000 But no, I'll get on my bike.
02:04:17.000 But you know what's great?
02:04:17.000 If you have a treadmill or an inside bike, it's movies.
02:04:21.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:04:21.000 Watch a fucking movie. 1.00
02:04:22.000 You don't even know you're doing it, and you're an hour and a half in, and it's over. 1.00
02:04:25.000 Here's an idea.
02:04:26.000 That's the move.
02:04:27.000 A guy, he was telling me, he said, get this Nordic track.
02:04:30.000 I guess it's like the Peloton and, you know, computerized and all.
02:04:35.000 Oh, that's like your steam.
02:04:35.000 Nordic track is skiing.
02:04:35.000 That was the old Nordic track, but they make a bicycle now that's like a Peloton.
02:04:40.000 And he was telling me, and I said, man, it's a lot of money to spend for something to hang my pants on. 0.89
02:04:45.000 Do you remember when people had those bullshit ski machines in their house to pretend you're skiing? 0.98
02:04:49.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:04:49.000 Nobody used those. 0.99
02:04:50.000 No.
02:04:51.000 You used it three times.
02:04:54.000 It had the cables.
02:04:56.000 The worst. 0.98
02:04:57.000 So the cables, you moved back and forth and your feet slid back and You could tell if you went over someone's house and they didn't have their shit together, they either had one of those or they had a Bowflex. 0.92
02:05:07.000 Yeah. 0.51
02:05:08.000 Or what was the one where it was just rubber plates and you would pull them apart.
02:05:15.000 Remember, it wasn't a Bowflex.
02:05:16.000 It was like that, though.
02:05:18.000 It was like that.
02:05:19.000 I don't remember.
02:05:20.000 I do remember the Bowflex.
02:05:21.000 And now they have a new Bowflex that's actually like a bow.
02:05:25.000 Yeah.
02:05:25.000 Like, yeah.
02:05:26.000 Yeah, it's like, I forget what it's called.
02:05:28.000 But yeah, there's a bunch of bow exercises you do with it.
02:05:31.000 Nobody's using that.
02:05:32.000 No. 0.99
02:05:33.000 If you use it, those are for people that don't have their shit together. 0.98
02:05:37.000 You look at that and you go, oh, maybe I'll use it. 0.98
02:05:40.000 Okay, I'll get it.
02:05:41.000 But you know why?
02:05:41.000 Because the commercial, they get somebody who goes to the gym who works out regularly to do the commercial and say, yeah, 20 minutes a day with this and I have this body.
02:05:51.000 And you're like, no you don't.
02:05:53.000 Because I know people with that body and their discipline is beyond belief.
02:05:57.000 You know what I mean?
02:05:59.000 I used to work with this trainer at Gold's and she was like amazing shape. 1.00
02:06:05.000 She had been a bodybuilder and then she shifted over to fitness. 0.99
02:06:09.000 And she just... 0.95
02:06:10.000 Cut up and beautiful and this and that. 0.99
02:06:13.000 And I used to tell her, I was like, you understand if you lived in like Oklahoma or Iowa, like women would kill you. 1.00
02:06:22.000 Like they just wouldn't allow you to exist because you have this perfect body, you know?
02:06:27.000 Because when they had that whole thing about...
02:06:30.000 Women's bodies and the false, what was it? 1.00
02:06:33.000 The false image of women's bodies. 0.84
02:06:35.000 The problem with that is when you're in LA, that's not really false because those women, the models who do those pictures are here.
02:06:45.000 Unrealistic body expectations.
02:06:47.000 They're not unrealistic for guys though. 0.99
02:06:49.000 Nobody ever says that about your old bodybuilders are bullshit because they're fat guys or need love too. 0.98
02:06:56.000 You're giving us unrealistic body expectations. 0.99
02:06:59.000 Nobody says anything about that.
02:07:00.000 No, but it's also because... 1.00
02:07:03.000 Because we don't feel bad about men that look like shit. 1.00
02:07:05.000 Right. 1.00
02:07:06.000 Women walking around. 1.00
02:07:07.000 Like, a guy who looks like shit has a shot. 1.00
02:07:09.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
02:07:10.000 Like, women aren't as particular.
02:07:12.000 We don't care about that guy.
02:07:13.000 Women aren't as picky about it as men are in our minds. 1.00
02:07:18.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:07:20.000 Well, it's also that men control the advertising and men objectify women in these ads, but when men objectify men in the ads for women, no one cares.
02:07:28.000 Well, you know why? 0.98
02:07:29.000 Because if the guy's too pretty, oh, he's gay. 0.99
02:07:32.000 We could say that. 0.83
02:07:33.000 But what if the guy's not?
02:07:34.000 What if he's beautiful?
02:07:35.000 Well, he's not.
02:07:35.000 And he's rugged looking.
02:07:36.000 Yeah, he's not.
02:07:37.000 But I mean, that's the dismissal.
02:07:39.000 Like, in other words, when women look at that woman and they sell that image. 1.00
02:07:43.000 They never say she's gay.
02:07:44.000 She's trying to achieve that image, right? 0.89
02:07:47.000 But when they show men that guy... 0.94
02:07:51.000 Men are just like, yeah, but he's gay. 0.73
02:07:53.000 Right, but it doesn't work the other way.
02:07:55.000 Then they don't have to try to compete with him.
02:07:57.000 Yeah.
02:07:58.000 Let me tell you something, man.
02:07:59.000 I was hanging out with Tyson Beckford.
02:08:02.000 You know what Tyson is?
02:08:03.000 A little bit too handsome.
02:08:04.000 Yeah.
02:08:05.000 It was comical.
02:08:07.000 It was literally, I laughed, like the way women would react when they saw him and the fact that you don't even exist in the world. 1.00
02:08:15.000 But it wasn't, it's not even trying to compete.
02:08:17.000 It's like, yeah, okay, well, I'm gonna play a pickup game with LeBron James.
02:08:21.000 You know what I mean?
02:08:21.000 It was like, well, no, there's no competition.
02:08:22.000 Well, he's got two things going on.
02:08:24.000 You just look, it was just fun to watch.
02:08:26.000 But he's also got two things going on.
02:08:28.000 He's famous too. 0.99
02:08:29.000 So he's famous as fuck and he's beautiful. 1.00
02:08:31.000 And he's tall and handsome. 1.00
02:08:33.000 He's got everything.
02:08:33.000 So you're like, what are you going to do?
02:08:35.000 Yeah, it was just that kind of thing.
02:08:36.000 So yeah, the unrealistic expectation.
02:08:40.000 My unrealistic expectation went right out the window.
02:08:44.000 It was like, yeah, well I ain't competing with that.
02:08:47.000 Girls do get mad, though. 1.00
02:08:48.000 But I think some guys would get mad, too.
02:08:50.000 Yeah, some do. 1.00
02:08:51.000 Bitch dudes. 1.00
02:08:52.000 But girls will get really angry if they see some bitch that just showed up at the gym. 1.00
02:08:58.000 She's got a perfect body. 1.00
02:08:59.000 And then you're on your treadmill looking down at yourself going, fuck! 1.00
02:09:02.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:09:02.000 And then if they do the whole sexy workout outfit and the whole thing... 0.99
02:09:08.000 That could be a real problem.
02:09:10.000 Yeah.
02:09:10.000 They get mad at their husbands, too.
02:09:11.000 What the fuck are you looking at? 1.00
02:09:12.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
02:09:13.000 That's a problem.
02:09:14.000 But, you know, it's...
02:09:17.000 But again, here in LA, or like Miami.
02:09:20.000 Oh yeah, that's not realistic.
02:09:22.000 Miami should be rated R. First, like when you get off the plane, they're like, listen, you're too young to be here.
02:09:31.000 You're going to have to go up to Fort Lauderdale.
02:09:33.000 If you're not 17, it's NC-17.
02:09:35.000 It's not even rated R. Because rated R you can go with your parents. 0.99
02:09:39.000 If your parents are assholes and you're 14, like, yeah, my kid needs to see the slasher movie. 0.98
02:09:43.000 But NC-17, like, you can't take that kid in here. 1.00
02:09:46.000 The women walking around Miami, it's so sexy. 1.00
02:09:51.000 Again, it's just comical.
02:09:52.000 You know, this is the other thing that, like getting older, like being my age, I'm in my 50s, where I'm not chasing them anymore, so it's just fun to watch.
02:10:02.000 Right.
02:10:03.000 You know what I mean?
02:10:03.000 You're watching nature documentaries.
02:10:05.000 Yeah, it's like, look at this.
02:10:07.000 This is amazing.
02:10:09.000 Do you see this woman?
02:10:10.000 Like an exotic bird.
02:10:12.000 And you're just like, she walks around like that every day, all the time.
02:10:16.000 She just looks like that.
02:10:17.000 It's incredible.
02:10:18.000 Well, it's also such a superficial culture, too.
02:10:21.000 There's people over there that are really rich.
02:10:23.000 There's a lot of flossing. 0.99
02:10:25.000 There's a lot of wearing the latest shit and driving the fastest this. 0.99
02:10:28.000 The whole thing. 0.99
02:10:29.000 Biggest diamonds on your watch.
02:10:32.000 It's just fun to watch.
02:10:34.000 It's a very interesting place.
02:10:34.000 But if you get caught up in it, if you get caught up in trying to be that, then you've got problems.
02:10:40.000 But as long as you remember, it's entertainment.
02:10:44.000 Because that's what it is.
02:10:45.000 Well, it's a city that was sort of built on cocaine.
02:10:48.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:10:49.000 And that's why it's funny now with marijuana, right?
02:10:53.000 With weed, they're like, we don't know what to do with the weed money and this and that.
02:10:57.000 It's like, well, talk to the people who did Miami in the 80s because they managed to turn all that cocaine money into a city.
02:11:04.000 Like, they've managed to...
02:11:06.000 Well, that's already been going on with weed in places where it's illegal, like in Vancouver for the longest time.
02:11:11.000 There was a documentary that I was in way back in the day called The Union, and it was all about how even though marijuana is illegal in Vancouver, the city literally depends on it.
02:11:22.000 The industry is built on it.
02:11:24.000 There's so much money in marijuana in Vancouver.
02:11:28.000 I mean, people kind of forgot about it because California has it legal now and Oregon and Washington State has it legal now.
02:11:34.000 But for the longest time, we got a lot of our weed from Vancouver, a lot of British Columbia weed.
02:11:40.000 And so this documentary was essentially showing how it's completely interconnected with the economy up there.
02:11:47.000 It's enormous.
02:11:48.000 And if they pulled out, somehow or another, if marijuana and all the marijuana money just went away and it didn't exist anymore, the economy would probably fall apart or need a huge readjustment.
02:11:59.000 And that's the way Miami was.
02:12:00.000 Yes, exactly.
02:12:01.000 Yeah, Miami was like, man.
02:12:02.000 All the banks?
02:12:03.000 Yeah, the banks.
02:12:04.000 They were laundering money down there.
02:12:05.000 There were so many banks.
02:12:06.000 Real estate?
02:12:06.000 Like, that was building office buildings and condos and all of that stuff was, yeah.
02:12:12.000 It was, you know, but what a city.
02:12:16.000 It's beautiful.
02:12:17.000 What a city.
02:12:18.000 It's a wild place.
02:12:19.000 It's also on, like, a very porous stone, which will absolutely go underwater soon.
02:12:23.000 Well, listen, listen, listen.
02:12:26.000 And again, I have Florida friends.
02:12:29.000 I love them.
02:12:29.000 God is continually trying to destroy Florida.
02:12:33.000 He's sending a message.
02:12:34.000 He's just throwing things.
02:12:35.000 Just hurricanes and tornadoes.
02:12:37.000 Just keep throwing.
02:12:40.000 How about alligators, too? 1.00
02:12:42.000 You've got fucking alligators everywhere. 1.00
02:12:43.000 Dinosaurs. 1.00
02:12:44.000 Alligators are dinosaurs. 0.96
02:12:46.000 This is how goofy California is.
02:12:48.000 California banned pythons and alligators to two things they're trying to kill all day long in Florida. 0.74
02:12:54.000 So you can't even buy python skin things.
02:12:57.000 I mean, literally, there's like a market for...
02:12:59.000 They're invasive. 0.99
02:13:01.000 It's a fucking giant snake that comes from another part of the world that shouldn't even be here. 1.00
02:13:06.000 Right, nothing can kill it because it shouldn't be here. 1.00
02:13:08.000 They have so many of them in Florida. 0.99
02:13:10.000 They're paying people to kill them. 0.99
02:13:12.000 You can't even sell the skins in California because we're so goofy. 0.53
02:13:16.000 But the thing with alligators, it's like...
02:13:19.000 Why would you go near any water in Florida?
02:13:22.000 You know what I mean?
02:13:22.000 Like if there's a puddle, like, yes, stay away.
02:13:25.000 There's probably an alligator.
02:13:27.000 I remember I played golf in Florida and they were like, yeah, when you hit your ball in the water, like you don't like it's gone.
02:13:34.000 There was a huge one that just caused a traffic jam.
02:13:37.000 See if you can find that.
02:13:37.000 It was out today in the news.
02:13:39.000 There was a huge alligator in Florida that was causing a traffic jam because it was walking across the road and people were like, what the fuck? 1.00
02:13:47.000 Like 16 foot long goddamn dinosaur. 0.99
02:13:50.000 Animals like, since humans are locked away, animals are coming out. 0.99
02:13:55.000 They're like coming down into town looking for food.
02:13:58.000 I had a bobcat in their backyard.
02:14:00.000 Really?
02:14:00.000 Yeah.
02:14:00.000 Yeah, I hear them.
02:14:01.000 Big fucker. 1.00
02:14:02.000 I hear coyotes and owls and stuff at night. 1.00
02:14:08.000 Yeah, they're close.
02:14:10.000 They're moving in.
02:14:11.000 As soon as we're gone, if we got wiped out, this place would be overrun with animals in weeks.
02:14:17.000 Yeah, nature would come back quick.
02:14:18.000 Real quick.
02:14:19.000 Nature would come back really quick.
02:14:21.000 Did you find it?
02:14:23.000 Maybe.
02:14:24.000 Let me text it to you.
02:14:25.000 Traffic Jam in Florida.
02:14:27.000 Is it two years old?
02:14:28.000 Yeah, it's April 2018. There's no one that's new?
02:14:31.000 Nope.
02:14:31.000 There's not one that's new?
02:14:32.000 That's what it looks like.
02:14:34.000 Look at that thing. 0.92
02:14:36.000 Maybe.
02:14:38.000 I think it's another one.
02:14:39.000 And that's in Jacksonville.
02:14:41.000 Jacksonville is the town that there's a lot of crazy in Jacksonville.
02:14:46.000 I'm going there.
02:14:46.000 That's where the UFC's going to be.
02:14:48.000 Yeah.
02:14:48.000 There's a lot of...
02:14:50.000 That's where the beach thing was going?
02:14:52.000 Where the spring break beaches were going?
02:14:57.000 Nothing newer.
02:14:58.000 Alright.
02:14:59.000 Maybe it's an old one someone sent me.
02:15:00.000 Man found eaten by alligator actually died of meth overdose.
02:15:04.000 I thought the alligator died of the overdose for a second.
02:15:07.000 That's hilarious!
02:15:09.000 Imagine that!
02:15:10.000 You die of a meth overdose and an alligator comes along and eats you.
02:15:15.000 Oh my god.
02:15:16.000 Doing a podcast called Fear Not with a guy named Barry Glassner who wrote a book called The Culture of Fear and it's about what we fear in society.
02:15:25.000 And we had a segment to the podcast that was just called Fear Florida.
02:15:28.000 Because every week something would happen in Florida.
02:15:33.000 Like Florida, it just...
02:15:35.000 Like that.
02:15:36.000 Yeah.
02:15:36.000 City of Lakeland closes a portion of park because of snake orgy.
02:15:40.000 Of course.
02:15:41.000 Of course.
02:15:42.000 And look.
02:15:43.000 Look at the date.
02:15:44.000 Look at the date.
02:15:45.000 Valentine's Day.
02:15:45.000 It's on Valentine's Day.
02:15:47.000 February 14th.
02:15:49.000 It's hilarious.
02:15:49.000 Oh my god.
02:15:52.000 Oh, and an 11-foot alligator was found inside a Clearwater home last week.
02:15:56.000 Of course!
02:15:56.000 You could do this with no end.
02:16:00.000 Florida could go...
02:16:01.000 It's an endless source.
02:16:03.000 It's just an amazing...
02:16:05.000 And again, some good people.
02:16:06.000 Tampa.
02:16:07.000 I love the city of Tampa.
02:16:08.000 Yeah.
02:16:08.000 I have great shows there.
02:16:10.000 I love West Palm.
02:16:11.000 Yeah, but man...
02:16:13.000 I've had great times in West Palm.
02:16:14.000 The improv down there?
02:16:16.000 Yeah.
02:16:17.000 But some of the stories you hear and some of the things that happen, you're just like Florida.
02:16:21.000 You guys, like Florida passed Mississippi a long time ago.
02:16:25.000 It used to be Mississippi, even California.
02:16:27.000 We used to be the crazy state.
02:16:30.000 California was used to, now we can't come. 0.53
02:16:33.000 Florida used to be like old Jewish people would go there. 0.58
02:16:36.000 And Miami was- They used to call it God's waiting room.
02:16:39.000 Yes, that's right.
02:16:40.000 The New York people didn't want to deal with the winter anymore.
02:16:43.000 Now it's just chaos. 1.00
02:16:47.000 It's just pills and fucking madness and alligators. 1.00
02:16:52.000 There's so many alligators there. 0.99
02:16:53.000 You ever watch Small People?
02:16:55.000 You ever see that show?
02:16:56.000 Oh, man.
02:16:56.000 How could you not watch it?
02:16:59.000 That's one of those shows that when you see it, you're like, I have to watch this.
02:17:03.000 One of the guys that's a commercial killer of alligators, he got a tag for 500 alligators. 0.98
02:17:08.000 You can kill five. 0.93
02:17:09.000 That's how many they have. 0.99
02:17:11.000 500 alligators. 1.00
02:17:12.000 There's not a shortage of these fucking things. 0.99
02:17:15.000 My favorite thing about swamp people is they're speaking English and they still have subtitles. 1.00
02:17:23.000 That's so true!
02:17:25.000 They speak in English, but they have subtitles to help us.
02:17:30.000 There's that sort of Cajun sort of way of talking, which is real interesting, right?
02:17:35.000 Because that's a really unique subset of the southern accent.
02:17:39.000 That is the hillbilly hand fishing.
02:17:41.000 Did you see that one?
02:17:42.000 Oh, I've seen that where they noodle. 0.90
02:17:44.000 They catch the catfish by letting it clamp down their farm. 1.00
02:17:47.000 What in the fuck? 1.00
02:17:48.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:17:49.000 But I guess if you get one of those fuckers, that's like a hundred pounds. 1.00
02:17:53.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:17:54.000 That's a lot of meat, man.
02:17:55.000 That's a lot of meat. 1.00
02:17:55.000 So I guess they grab the gills, they let this thing bite their arm, they put their hand in its mouth, they let it bite their arm, and then they grab the gills and pull this fucker out. 1.00
02:18:05.000 Remember we were talking about the guy who ate this slug? 0.99
02:18:09.000 Yeah.
02:18:10.000 You know that was the first hillbilly hand fishing guy was like, hey, watch this.
02:18:15.000 And he stuck his hand inside of a catfish and pulled it out. 0.97
02:18:19.000 And they were like, I'll be damned. 0.85
02:18:21.000 We got a way to do it. 0.96
02:18:22.000 Yeah.
02:18:23.000 How many guys lost their hands to snapping turtles doing that?
02:18:25.000 Yeah, they're not gonna...
02:18:26.000 They never give you the bad side.
02:18:28.000 Snapping turtles scare the fuck out of me. 0.99
02:18:30.000 I lived in Florida for a bit, and when I was 11 years old, I lived there until I was 13, and we used to find these fucking turtles. 0.99
02:18:37.000 I guess they're tortoises, right? 0.99
02:18:39.000 Because they're on dry land.
02:18:40.000 They would be huge.
02:18:42.000 And they can bite through bone, right? 1.00
02:18:44.000 Oh, right through your dick. 1.00
02:18:45.000 They can bite right through bone, yeah. 1.00
02:18:47.000 They bite your crotch? 1.00
02:18:48.000 Like if you're an 11-year-old kid, and one decides to bite your dick? 1.00
02:18:52.000 That's it. 1.00
02:18:53.000 It's over. 0.90
02:18:54.000 You catch a finger, slice your finger right off.
02:18:57.000 Clean off.
02:18:58.000 We would put sticks near them and they would bite the sticks.
02:19:00.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:19:01.000 We're so stupid. 1.00
02:19:02.000 Amazing. 1.00
02:19:03.000 No, you were 11. I was also around alligators all the time.
02:19:06.000 When I was 11, we used to go and throw marshmallows into the water.
02:19:09.000 And there was signs telling you to stop feeding the alligators marshmallows after a while.
02:19:13.000 But the alligators back then were actually, they were endangered.
02:19:17.000 Yeah, there was a period.
02:19:19.000 And they were protected, but then the population grew.
02:19:22.000 Skyrocketed.
02:19:22.000 So much.
02:19:23.000 It went from them being protected to them giving someone 500 tags to kill them. 0.99
02:19:27.000 In my lifetime.
02:19:29.000 In Orlando, there was one of those alligator farms.
02:19:32.000 And I said, that's for when dad gets tired.
02:19:35.000 After his third day at Disney World, when he's tired of the kids, he's like, alright, let's go see some alligators. 0.99
02:19:42.000 And if there's an accident, I don't give a shit. 0.99
02:19:45.000 I'm tired of you. 0.99
02:19:46.000 Well, there's something about alligators that we want to see always because they're so primal.
02:19:51.000 It's such a dinosaur.
02:19:52.000 Yeah, they're literally, yeah, they're dinosaurs, right?
02:19:56.000 They've been around forever, right?
02:19:58.000 Have you ever seen that video where the lady's throwing chickens off the balcony of these crocodiles and they're grabbing the meat and eating it and one of them reaches and doesn't get the meat and he just grabs his buddy's leg and spins and rips it off and swallows it and his buddy doesn't even budge.
02:20:14.000 It doesn't even budge.
02:20:16.000 This other alligator just ate his foot, and he literally just looks around, or other crocodile rather, just ate his foot.
02:20:21.000 He doesn't even react.
02:20:23.000 Well, that was like the one where, what is it, a deer or something's at the riverbank?
02:20:27.000 And the crocodile jumps out of the river and bites the whole thing and pulls it in.
02:20:32.000 Watch this.
02:20:32.000 So she throws this meat, right?
02:20:34.000 They all stumble for it.
02:20:36.000 And this one grabs ahold of that one's foot. 1.00
02:20:38.000 And just watch.
02:20:39.000 Does the death roll.
02:20:41.000 Pops off the leg.
02:20:43.000 And then just swallows it.
02:20:44.000 Oop, thanks.
02:20:45.000 And look at the one. 1.00
02:20:46.000 He just ate his fucking arm. 1.00
02:20:47.000 He doesn't even react. 1.00
02:20:48.000 He's looking at him like, did you just eat my foot? 1.00
02:20:50.000 Did you just eat my fucking hand? 1.00
02:20:51.000 He doesn't even seem mad. 1.00
02:20:54.000 How have we let this thing survive?
02:20:57.000 They're so gross, they have moss growing all over their back. 1.00
02:21:00.000 What a creepy-ass fucking monster. 1.00
02:21:02.000 I was Googling just an alligator snapping turtle, which is the cross of both things you were just talking about. 1.00
02:21:07.000 An alligator snapping turtle?
02:21:09.000 Yeah, right.
02:21:10.000 Oh, jeez.
02:21:11.000 Oh, I've seen those. 0.99
02:21:12.000 Those are fucking enormous. 0.99
02:21:14.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:21:14.000 They're nasty. 1.00
02:21:15.000 Where do those live? 0.58
02:21:16.000 And like this, this video shows a map of it, I think.
02:21:20.000 Look at the difference.
02:21:21.000 Jesus, look at that thing.
02:21:22.000 Mexico and Central America. 1.00
02:21:25.000 What the fuck? 1.00
02:21:27.000 You know what I like? 1.00
02:21:28.000 That guy in the hat, that's how that guy always looks, right?
02:21:32.000 The guy on the right?
02:21:32.000 Yeah, the guy on the right.
02:21:34.000 Like, he's always that guy.
02:21:35.000 He's hoping to be the next Crocodile Dundee.
02:21:38.000 Look at him. 1.00
02:21:38.000 He gets bitten by him and shit. 1.00
02:21:39.000 No! 1.00
02:21:40.000 Yeah, he's the guy that gets stung by stuff.
02:21:43.000 What is his name again?
02:21:43.000 Coyote Peterson.
02:21:44.000 Oh, yeah, he's a silly man. 0.99
02:21:47.000 But that's the alligator one on the left and the regular one on the left. 1.00
02:21:50.000 He's the guy who lets those bugs bite him and shit. 0.99
02:21:54.000 There's a new show Shab was talking about. 1.00
02:21:56.000 I watched a little bit of it on the History Channel with these two guys.
02:21:58.000 One's an Australian dude, one's an American.
02:22:00.000 And they go and they get...
02:22:03.000 They let themselves feel the pain and then explain it.
02:22:07.000 Oh, yeah.
02:22:07.000 In a larger way than he does, almost.
02:22:09.000 Dude, hold up.
02:22:10.000 While we're doing this, back that up a little bit. 1.00
02:22:12.000 While we're just talking, look at the fucking... 0.99
02:22:15.000 Right there. 0.99
02:22:15.000 Leave it right there. 0.99
02:22:16.000 Watch his fucking claws. 1.00
02:22:18.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
02:22:18.000 So they go over his body here, and you can see the plates underneath him, and then they show his claws. 1.00
02:22:24.000 Look at that.
02:22:25.000 It's like a grizzly bear.
02:22:26.000 Yeah.
02:22:26.000 And then they close in on his face.
02:22:29.000 Mm-hmm.
02:22:29.000 Look at the yap on that thing.
02:22:31.000 That might as well be in the Lord of the Rings.
02:22:33.000 It might as well be an orc.
02:22:35.000 You know?
02:22:36.000 Like, look at that. 1.00
02:22:37.000 They might as well be riding a horse, swinging a fucking axe. 1.00
02:22:41.000 What a monster. 1.00
02:22:42.000 You thought the honey badger didn't give a shit. 1.00
02:22:45.000 The alligator turtle. 0.99
02:22:46.000 What threat does he have?
02:22:48.000 Is there anything that is a threat to him?
02:22:52.000 I saw a video of a sea turtle that had a whole bite taken out of it like a cookie from a shark.
02:23:01.000 Yeah. 0.98
02:23:01.000 So a bull shark bit through a fucking sea turtle, cut through a shell, cut half the body out, and it was swimming away with three legs and the entrails were hanging out. 0.98
02:23:11.000 I was like, wow. 0.99
02:23:12.000 Well, that's the other thing that's been here since the beginning, right?
02:23:15.000 Sharks.
02:23:16.000 Yeah, look at that.
02:23:16.000 Look at that bite mark.
02:23:17.000 Nature's Metal.
02:23:18.000 Nature's Metal's a great Twitter, Instagram page, rather.
02:23:22.000 Yeah.
02:23:23.000 The one in the middle, up left, it looks like something took a bite out of it and it lived.
02:23:27.000 Look at that.
02:23:28.000 It healed up. 0.99
02:23:30.000 Damn. 1.00
02:23:30.000 Wow. 1.00
02:23:31.000 Jesus Christ.
02:23:33.000 It's hard out there for a pimp.
02:23:35.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:23:36.000 The ocean's the cruelest, bitch. 1.00
02:23:38.000 Yeah, because there's shit down at it. 1.00
02:23:40.000 Everything's eating somebody. 0.99
02:23:41.000 Right.
02:23:42.000 Imagine if that was the outside world.
02:23:45.000 Everywhere you look is a fish trying to eat a fish.
02:23:47.000 Something trying to kill you all the time.
02:23:50.000 All the time.
02:23:50.000 It's like Africa, the Serengeti squared.
02:23:53.000 Yeah.
02:23:54.000 There's always something.
02:23:56.000 And we have no natural defenses.
02:23:59.000 Yeah.
02:24:00.000 We got nothing.
02:24:01.000 We can't even move in there.
02:24:02.000 We got no fur.
02:24:03.000 We got no claws.
02:24:04.000 We got no scales.
02:24:06.000 We're delicious.
02:24:07.000 You know what I mean?
02:24:08.000 If you're a predator, just an unarmed human being is so easy.
02:24:13.000 So easy. 1.00
02:24:14.000 And the fact that we're so stupid, at least on the ground, you feel like you might be able to grab a rock and throw it at it or stab it with a knife. 1.00
02:24:22.000 But when you're in the ocean, you can't do a fucking thing. 1.00
02:24:26.000 You can't breathe. 0.99
02:24:28.000 You can't even breathe.
02:24:29.000 You can't even move.
02:24:29.000 You barely can move.
02:24:30.000 You're the slowest thing. 0.74
02:24:32.000 You're thrashing around. 1.00
02:24:34.000 Think about how fast a shark moves and how fucking slow you are. 1.00
02:24:37.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:24:38.000 And you're like, oh, I'm curious.
02:24:40.000 I just want to go swim around.
02:24:44.000 The shark's like, oh, here they come again, the buffet.
02:24:47.000 What would it take to get you to start hunting?
02:24:51.000 You know, I don't know that I have the patience for it.
02:24:55.000 What if you were starving?
02:24:56.000 Well, yeah, obviously then.
02:24:58.000 But I think hunting, there's a patience to it.
02:25:02.000 It's one of those things where you wait a long time for that moment of action.
02:25:06.000 Well, it depends on what kind of hunting you do.
02:25:08.000 I see what you're saying with some hunting, like tree stand hunting.
02:25:11.000 You have to have an incredible amount of patience.
02:25:13.000 You sit in a tree and you stay still and you stay up there a long time.
02:25:17.000 But spot and stalk hunting, it's not as much patience.
02:25:21.000 Spot and stalk, what you're doing is you're moving along slowly, and then you pull out your binoculars, you glass the area.
02:25:27.000 Sometimes you sit down, you glass the area, and then you find the animal, and you slowly move towards them, and you try to play the wind, so the wind is blowing at you, so the animal's not getting your scent.
02:25:36.000 Yeah, so that kind of hunting is actually very, very exciting, but it's also very rigorous exercise.
02:25:42.000 You're going up and down mountains. 0.92
02:25:44.000 You have to be in really good shape if you're going to hunt elk or mountain goats or some shit like that. 0.90
02:25:49.000 You've got to be in really good shape. 0.84
02:25:51.000 Yeah, I don't know that that'd be my thing.
02:25:54.000 But what if there's a food shortage?
02:25:56.000 Listen, if there's a food shortage, I'm a big guy.
02:25:59.000 There's going to be a smaller guy who has food.
02:26:03.000 I bought a Glock.
02:26:06.000 What would it take to get you to move out of L.A.? Man, I don't know.
02:26:10.000 I mean, in some kind of disaster situation, you're talking about...
02:26:15.000 Like earthquake type deal.
02:26:16.000 Yeah, then I would go.
02:26:18.000 But otherwise, I've thought about leaving here.
02:26:21.000 You know, I've got friends who've left because of the cost of living, and they're living much higher...
02:26:27.000 Standard living in other places.
02:26:29.000 But I love LA. At the end of the day, I love this part of the weather, the roads.
02:26:35.000 I get to play with the motorcycles, this and that.
02:26:37.000 So this is so my lifestyle.
02:26:39.000 I mean, I'm mainly a road guy.
02:26:40.000 I could live anywhere and still do 90% of the work I do.
02:26:46.000 But I love living in L.A. So if I were somehow priced out of it, that would be the only way.
02:26:53.000 I mean, obviously, yeah, if there's an earthquake or a disaster or something, then I'll head to...
02:26:59.000 I love living in L.A. the way L.A. was.
02:27:02.000 Okay.
02:27:03.000 Yeah, I get that.
02:27:05.000 But I don't know if that's going to be the case anymore. 0.98
02:27:06.000 I'm like one of those guys, like if you're playing musical chairs, I'm like, this fucking music could shut off any second now. 0.96
02:27:16.000 Now, your kids have always lived here, right? 0.99
02:27:19.000 Yes.
02:27:19.000 They grew up here.
02:27:21.000 So what do you think their thought would be?
02:27:24.000 Kids are adaptable, man.
02:27:27.000 They adapt really quickly.
02:27:28.000 It's interesting because that's one of the things that I've noticed about them doing their schoolwork online.
02:27:32.000 They do their schoolwork on computers.
02:27:34.000 They're adapting.
02:27:35.000 They're dealing with it.
02:27:36.000 They have FaceTime with their friends.
02:27:38.000 It's interesting.
02:27:39.000 And I'm really proud of them for their ability to adapt and not freak out about it and just accept.
02:27:45.000 And we're spending a lot of time together.
02:27:47.000 We do a lot of movie nights. 0.99
02:27:49.000 I watch every fucking Adam Sandler movie that ever existed. 0.99
02:27:52.000 Basically, except Little Nicky. 0.99
02:27:54.000 I haven't seen that one.
02:27:55.000 But I don't think, I think as long as the family's there and there's other kids to be friends with, kids can do all right.
02:28:06.000 Right, they'll adjust.
02:28:07.000 And that's partly, I mean, not even partly, a big part of that is testament to you and your wife as parents, to have kids who are like that, you know, versus some kind of spoiled L.A. kid who couldn't have, you know.
02:28:20.000 Well, sometimes moving's good, too, man.
02:28:21.000 Yeah.
02:28:22.000 No, listen, if I had to, I was just talking with a friend.
02:28:27.000 This summer is 40 years for me in L.A. I moved here in 1980. Damn!
02:28:31.000 Yeah, so this summer is 40 years, because his 40 year was this month. 0.99
02:28:36.000 And we were talking about it like when we first came here.
02:28:39.000 We were kids, you know?
02:28:40.000 18, 19, right out of high school.
02:28:43.000 Moved from New York to L.A. and just mind-blown.
02:28:47.000 And I've been here long enough to see it.
02:28:49.000 That's why I said when you talk about LA how it used to be, I can think of a few versions of the LA I've lived in.
02:28:56.000 Listen, I got a buddy.
02:28:57.000 We talk about it.
02:28:58.000 We could have bought parking lots in downtown LA for $25,000.
02:29:04.000 You know what I mean?
02:29:05.000 Downtown LA used to be, like what you see as Skid Row used to be, the whole downtown was like, nobody went downtown.
02:29:11.000 Isn't that crazy?
02:29:12.000 You went downtown.
02:29:13.000 The bankers and insurance people were there during the day.
02:29:16.000 And then at five o'clock, it would just close.
02:29:19.000 But how'd that happen?
02:29:20.000 Because there was nothing there.
02:29:21.000 There was no reason to live there.
02:29:23.000 But why did they build those buildings down there?
02:29:25.000 Because it was business.
02:29:27.000 And office buildings, I guess, felt they needed to be downtown.
02:29:31.000 But isn't that weird that they would just have this one spot where there's all these tall buildings, the only part in all of L.A., and no one wanted to live there?
02:29:39.000 Yeah.
02:29:40.000 Yeah, and that's the way it was.
02:29:41.000 So the opposite of other cities.
02:29:42.000 Right.
02:29:43.000 Like, if you go to downtown Minneapolis, there's all these big buildings and a bunch of apartments, and people live down there, and it's totally normal.
02:29:49.000 They tried to develop, I remember in the 80s they tried to develop downtown and nobody would move down there.
02:29:55.000 In the 90s they tried to develop downtown and people just wouldn't move there.
02:29:59.000 And then they finally, when they got Staples Center, and then they said the big difference was grocery stores.
02:30:04.000 They said when they opened grocery stores, because before if you lived downtown you had to go to like Brentwood or some Eagle Rock or or Pasadena like you had to get on a freeway to go buy food.
02:30:16.000 So once they develop the grocery stores, then people start and it was also I think it was also a matter of everywhere else got crowded and expensive.
02:30:26.000 So initially downtown was cheap and then it became the the cool spot to be.
02:30:32.000 But it's so bum-infested. 0.97
02:30:34.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99
02:30:34.000 It's so crazy how many homeless people are shitting on the streets out there. 0.99
02:30:37.000 But again, it's one of those, if I knew then what I know now, you know what I mean?
02:30:42.000 Like in the 80s, man, I could have just bought just a parking lot downtown.
02:30:47.000 Well, maybe there's a spot right now.
02:30:48.000 There is, but we don't know where it is.
02:30:51.000 You know, Englewood, five years ago, Because now Inglewood's getting a new football stadium, the new basketball arena, they're developing it all.
02:31:00.000 But now it's too late, right?
02:31:02.000 Yeah.
02:31:03.000 So who knows what that next area...
02:31:06.000 What do they call that?
02:31:07.000 Gentrification?
02:31:08.000 Absolutely.
02:31:09.000 Yeah.
02:31:09.000 Yeah.
02:31:10.000 I wonder, because I wonder how much of an effect this is going to...
02:31:14.000 First of all, I've talked to my friends in New York City, and they said that a lot of the real estate people are preparing for a mass exodus.
02:31:21.000 They're saying, first of all, if New York City can't be New York City anymore, like it can't be everybody's just coming there from everywhere else and filling the streets, it's super crowded, if that can't be the case, Then what is it?
02:31:32.000 And if it really is a place where the virus might kick back in again and have a second wave, people are not going to want to buy there.
02:31:40.000 Well, just look at the past, right?
02:31:43.000 Because if you look at New York in the 60s and 70s, people didn't want to live in the city.
02:31:50.000 They lived in the suburbs.
02:31:51.000 Right.
02:31:52.000 And then the gentrification was all the people in the suburbs, their kids wanted to live in the city.
02:31:58.000 Right.
02:31:59.000 Huh.
02:31:59.000 So it would be another movement out of the city to the suburbs and the cities would, I don't know if fall is the right word, but the cities would, you know what I mean?
02:32:09.000 Because commerce wise, it's always going to be in the city because business is done.
02:32:14.000 No, but that's the other thing.
02:32:16.000 But that's changing now. 1.00
02:32:17.000 But the thing with virtual shit. 0.99
02:32:18.000 With virtual stuff. 0.99
02:32:19.000 But there's, especially New York, New York's going to be a city because New York is a gateway into the United States and New York is banking.
02:32:30.000 You know, Wall Street and all of that.
02:32:32.000 So to an extent, New York's gonna be New York.
02:32:34.000 But as far as people living there, yeah, a lot of people, they may go to their homes in the Hamptons or in whatever and say, you know what?
02:32:41.000 I don't need to go to the city anymore.
02:32:43.000 What about all those restaurants that have been there forever, like Keene's Steakhouse?
02:32:46.000 Yeah.
02:32:46.000 Places that have been there since...
02:32:48.000 Some of those are already, they're already saying some of those won't be back. 1.00
02:32:51.000 Fuck! 0.99
02:32:52.000 They're already saying some of those places won't be back. 1.00
02:32:55.000 New York had so many restaurants.
02:32:57.000 New York has so many things, but who knows?
02:33:02.000 Who knows what's going to make it?
02:33:04.000 Is fashion going to be a thing, or are we all going to just wear sweatpants now?
02:33:11.000 Well, you have to stay at home.
02:33:13.000 Have you seen so many people that have been doing these things where they're wearing suit and tie, but they're wearing shorts, and they get busted?
02:33:18.000 Yeah, shorts and no pants.
02:33:20.000 The dude that's wearing underwear?
02:33:21.000 Right.
02:33:21.000 Yeah.
02:33:22.000 So, you know, yeah, what's the new normal going to be?
02:33:27.000 In so many levels.
02:33:28.000 Cars, right?
02:33:29.000 People now, they're buying cars online. 0.98
02:33:31.000 So is it going to go back to going down to the car dealership and arguing with this guy and all of that bullshit?
02:33:39.000 Or is it just going to be like, hey man, I'm going online, this is what I'm paying, and then I'm going to go down there and pick up my car?
02:33:45.000 I don't know.
02:33:46.000 Well, a lot of people are still going to want to kick the tires, drive it a little bit, see what it is.
02:33:51.000 You don't know.
02:33:52.000 There's so many cars that drive so differently.
02:33:54.000 You don't know what to expect.
02:33:55.000 Unless there's a place where you could test drive a car, you're going to be more reluctant to make that decision. 0.61
02:33:59.000 Well, you can still test drive, but the negotiation and the bullshit part, are people still going to want to do that?
02:34:06.000 They're going to want to, because there's going to be a limited number of cars, especially the cars that get overpriced, like a new Corvette.
02:34:12.000 They sell them way above sticker, because there's not that many of them.
02:34:16.000 Those kind of cars, you're still going to be able to make money.
02:34:19.000 Yeah.
02:34:20.000 But the cars that are, the most cars that sell the transportation cars, the Camrys, the Accords, the stuff like that, the people really, they're like, eh, I don't need to test drive it.
02:34:29.000 I know what it is.
02:34:30.000 Well, the real problem is it's a supply and demand thing, right?
02:34:33.000 And then the other thing is, like, do we need to keep making cars?
02:34:36.000 Like, how many of these cars that we still have can we fix up and get on the road again?
02:34:41.000 And at what point in time do we stop every year flooding the market with a million new cars or whatever the number is?
02:34:48.000 Yeah, but it's part of our economy.
02:34:50.000 It is.
02:34:51.000 And it's a tradition.
02:34:52.000 And you got all these people in Georgia now who are going to be driving.
02:34:57.000 But you know what else is a part of our economy?
02:34:59.000 Fixing cars.
02:35:00.000 Yeah.
02:35:01.000 And there's something to be said for that.
02:35:05.000 More of that is going away.
02:35:07.000 Yeah.
02:35:08.000 Because cars are so efficient and digital now.
02:35:13.000 You know, that mechanic that you used to go to down the street, like, he doesn't exist anymore because he's got to have all this equipment to plug the car in and find out, you know, I mean, I drive a BMW and I say, like, when you lift the hood of my car,
02:35:28.000 it should just say none of your business.
02:35:31.000 There's nothing under here for you to touch.
02:35:34.000 You don't know how, you know what I mean?
02:35:36.000 You have to take this to the dealer.
02:35:41.000 And so many cars are like that.
02:35:43.000 Now, yeah, Tesla.
02:35:44.000 The electric cars are all going to be like that.
02:35:47.000 You're going to have to take it back to where you bought it.
02:35:48.000 It's going to be like an Apple store.
02:35:50.000 Yeah, you're going to have to take it to an electronics store.
02:35:51.000 And if there's an accident, I don't even know.
02:35:54.000 You can't take a Tesla to a body shop, right?
02:35:56.000 You have to take it back to Tesla or what?
02:35:58.000 No, you can bring it to a body shop.
02:36:00.000 Oh, okay.
02:36:01.000 Yeah, different body shops that service Tesla only.
02:36:04.000 Right.
02:36:04.000 Yeah, that's what I mean.
02:36:05.000 You've got to have...
02:36:07.000 You've got to have a guy who knows, because there's digital sensors, there's this or that, the other.
02:36:11.000 It's not just putting a fender back on, because that fender has a camera in it and a sensor and a this and a that.
02:36:17.000 Right, depending upon what happened to it, sure.
02:36:19.000 Yeah, that's the future, too.
02:36:22.000 The future is an emissionless vehicle.
02:36:24.000 So what we're accustomed to, what we're seeing here over the last month, where there's no fucking pollution in the sky, that's probably going to be the future.
02:36:30.000 And people also have to adapt.
02:36:32.000 You know, people from a technological standpoint, in other words, like if you've been fixing, well, I'll give you an example.
02:36:39.000 If you used to fix carburetors, then you better learn to fix fuel injection because all cars are fuel injected now.
02:36:45.000 There's a few classic cars with carburetors and there's a few guys that they need to fix them.
02:36:50.000 But other than that...
02:36:52.000 If you're fixing cars, either you're going to have to adapt to this digital car, or you're just going to go out of business.
02:37:02.000 Or you're going to work on old cars.
02:37:03.000 There's always going to be those cars.
02:37:04.000 But there's not going to be that many.
02:37:06.000 It becomes more of a specialty because there are fewer of them.
02:37:09.000 It's like 60s muscle cars, right?
02:37:11.000 They're great, but there aren't enough to support all the mechanics that used to fix them.
02:37:17.000 That's true.
02:37:18.000 So you...
02:37:20.000 You got to adapt.
02:37:21.000 You got to adapt.
02:37:22.000 You got to adapt.
02:37:23.000 And there's always those people who say, ah, these new ones ain't no...
02:37:26.000 It's like, no, the new ones are good.
02:37:28.000 It's different than what you're used to.
02:37:30.000 Yeah, it's not my thing. 0.99
02:37:31.000 Fucking spaceship. 0.99
02:37:32.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:37:33.000 How's it not your thing?
02:37:34.000 It's amazing.
02:37:34.000 This guy told me...
02:37:36.000 He told me something, and when he told me, it hit.
02:37:38.000 He said, you know why you don't like Teslas?
02:37:40.000 He said, because you like cars, and a Tesla's an appliance.
02:37:44.000 And I was like, yeah, that's it.
02:37:47.000 It's so, you know, it doesn't make any noise.
02:37:50.000 It works, but it doesn't have the visceral feel of you driving 911, right?
02:37:57.000 Yeah, I have one of those.
02:37:57.000 It's a different thing.
02:37:58.000 It does not have that visceral feel of driving.
02:38:01.000 No, but it's way better to drive.
02:38:03.000 Efficiently, yeah.
02:38:04.000 Not just efficiently, the way it moves.
02:38:06.000 I know.
02:38:06.000 It just goes around things so quickly.
02:38:09.000 Like you accelerate.
02:38:10.000 It's the instant torque.
02:38:11.000 It's the instant torque of electric motors.
02:38:14.000 But I still, and you know, maybe I'm that dinosaur or whatever.
02:38:17.000 And I don't knock Teslas.
02:38:18.000 Like if you want a Tesla, have a Tesla and have fun with it.
02:38:21.000 I'm not saying you shouldn't.
02:38:22.000 I just know it's not for me.
02:38:24.000 No, I prefer Tesla.
02:38:27.000 I like engines, too.
02:38:28.000 I like shifting my own gears.
02:38:30.000 I like manual transmissions, but I also like that Tesla. 0.99
02:38:33.000 That thing is fun as fuck. 0.98
02:38:34.000 Again, I get it. 0.99
02:38:36.000 And I also get the people who say, hey, if you're sitting in traffic on a 405 and the car can drive itself, let it do it.
02:38:44.000 Oh, it's way less stressful.
02:38:46.000 I'm also, Joe, I'm also out there on a motorcycle, man, and I see I'm scared of Tesla people.
02:38:52.000 That's a good point.
02:38:53.000 They trust the automatic driving so much they're not paying attention, right?
02:38:58.000 And I'm out there like I'm their target.
02:39:00.000 I don't know that your car sees me on a bike.
02:39:04.000 That's a good point.
02:39:05.000 My friend was saying that he answers his emails when he's driving.
02:39:07.000 I'm like, oh my god, no you don't.
02:39:09.000 Yeah, he does.
02:39:10.000 He goes, yeah, I do.
02:39:10.000 He goes, I can answer my emails.
02:39:12.000 I go, what?
02:39:13.000 On the highway.
02:39:14.000 People do things behind the wheel.
02:39:17.000 That would scare the hell out of you.
02:39:20.000 That's so trusting.
02:39:22.000 The freeways are empty now.
02:39:24.000 People are driving so fast.
02:39:27.000 And it's people who don't know how to drive fast.
02:39:29.000 I don't mind someone driving fast who knows how to drive fast or they have a car made to go fast.
02:39:35.000 I know what you mean.
02:39:36.000 I mean, man, I'm doing 80 and getting just rocketing past me.
02:39:41.000 I know you're doing 100. I know you're doing a buck.
02:39:44.000 There's a lot of idiots. 1.00
02:39:46.000 Driver caught going 180 miles an hour on Michigan Highway during lockdown. 1.00
02:39:51.000 Yeah.
02:39:51.000 What was he driving?
02:39:53.000 Hellcat.
02:39:54.000 Say that again?
02:39:55.000 2016 Dodge probably.
02:39:56.000 Yeah, the Hellcat.
02:39:57.000 Wow.
02:39:58.000 180. They caught him.
02:40:00.000 Man.
02:40:00.000 How'd they catch him?
02:40:01.000 I don't know.
02:40:02.000 Helicopter.
02:40:03.000 Yeah, they saw him and then he...
02:40:05.000 Jesus.
02:40:06.000 One saw him and then they waited for him.
02:40:08.000 Oh, they set it up up ahead?
02:40:12.000 Hellcat Challenger, that's what it is. 0.99
02:40:14.000 You don't know shit about cars. 1.00
02:40:15.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00
02:40:19.000 Yeah, but there are people, and there are a lot of cops out now, you know. 1.00
02:40:24.000 There's a lot of cops writing tickets.
02:40:26.000 Good.
02:40:27.000 You know, you don't want a 100 mile an hour ticket.
02:40:29.000 How about 180?
02:40:30.000 What do they do with you?
02:40:31.000 They must just put you in jail.
02:40:32.000 Think 180. Here, I think in California, I think you go to jail at 100 or more.
02:40:37.000 Really?
02:40:37.000 They can.
02:40:38.000 They don't necessarily do, but they can.
02:40:39.000 180 is a real good argument.
02:40:41.000 You should be locked up.
02:40:42.000 He said, my fault.
02:40:43.000 I was speeding with another vehicle.
02:40:44.000 Sorry.
02:40:45.000 According to the officer.
02:40:46.000 My fault.
02:40:47.000 Sorry.
02:40:48.000 Well, sounds good.
02:40:49.000 Where's the other car?
02:40:50.000 That wasn't in Detroit.
02:40:53.000 In Detroit, my fault, sorry, ain't gonna work.
02:40:56.000 That had to be somewhere in outer Michigan somewhere.
02:41:00.000 Sorry ain't getting you off the hook in Detroit.
02:41:04.000 You know, Michigan's a good example of how things can change, right?
02:41:06.000 Because Detroit used to be the most profitable or the richest state, or the richest city, rather.
02:41:14.000 Let me get this out right.
02:41:15.000 Detroit used to be the richest city.
02:41:17.000 It used to be a hugely rich city back when they were making cars there.
02:41:20.000 I mean, they still make some cars there, but back when it was the place.
02:41:23.000 Don't even get me started on the American car industry.
02:41:27.000 It's crazy.
02:41:28.000 You talk about a group that took it for granted and didn't adapt to the times and literally sat there and watched the Japanese take all of their business. 0.83
02:41:36.000 They watched the Camry become a Chevy.
02:41:40.000 Used to be just, what are you going to buy?
02:41:42.000 Chevy versus Ford, right?
02:41:44.000 You remember your family.
02:41:46.000 You had Chevy families and Ford families, but there was no talk of any, and they had that market And they just sat back and built crappy cars and blah, blah, blah, and let that whole thing go. 0.99
02:42:01.000 It's ridiculous.
02:42:03.000 Well, things get weird when you ship stuff overseas, too, or ship jobs overseas.
02:42:07.000 Things are cheaper to make in Mexico or they're cheaper to make in China.
02:42:09.000 Yeah, that exists. 0.93
02:42:11.000 But as far as the cars, I mean, American cars in the 70s and 80s were garbage. 0.99
02:42:18.000 Garbage. 0.99
02:42:18.000 And that was a choice. 0.99
02:42:20.000 The factory could have made better cars, and they just chose not to.
02:42:26.000 Do you think people are going to be more open to the idea of American-made businesses, supporting American-made businesses after you realize how difficult it is to get things from China during a pandemic and how we're so reliant on China for medicine and for electronics and so many different things?
02:42:43.000 One would hope.
02:42:44.000 I think there's two ways to do it.
02:42:46.000 Either we do that, support American businesses, or, and this is a worldwide thing, open up to the idea of globalization.
02:42:56.000 Where it's a global economy, not an individual nation's economy, you know?
02:43:02.000 Then who runs it?
02:43:03.000 China? 0.73
02:43:04.000 No. 1.00
02:43:04.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00
02:43:05.000 America! 1.00
02:43:06.000 America!
02:43:07.000 Well, the same people who run it now, right?
02:43:09.000 The bankers. 1.00
02:43:10.000 I mean, they don't give a shit. 1.00
02:43:12.000 They don't give a shit about where the money comes from. 0.99
02:43:15.000 They're running the money worldwide. 0.99
02:43:17.000 You know, they're in contact with each other.
02:43:20.000 You know what I mean?
02:43:21.000 And I'm not even talking from a conspiracy theory thing.
02:43:24.000 Like, that's just how it works.
02:43:26.000 Money flows throughout the world.
02:43:28.000 And so if you're financing...
02:43:31.000 I don't know.
02:43:32.000 If you're financing Apple Computer and Apple Computer is building their computers in China, if you're the bank on Wall Street, you don't care.
02:43:42.000 You care about Apple paying their stock dividends or paying their bills.
02:43:48.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
02:43:49.000 So the bankers who are behind it, they don't give a shit. 0.98
02:43:54.000 They just want to make sure it stays profitable. 0.97
02:43:56.000 They're not willing to sacrifice that for some ideal of it's good to buy American.
02:44:01.000 Right, right.
02:44:03.000 But if you can show a way to profitably make it American... 0.92
02:44:07.000 You'd have to get people from America to really find value in buying something that's America because it would cost more.
02:44:13.000 How much would it cost to make an American phone?
02:44:18.000 Everything.
02:44:19.000 Everything made over here.
02:44:20.000 Is that even possible?
02:44:22.000 I don't think so.
02:44:22.000 Not anymore.
02:44:23.000 I think it has to come down to those rare materials they're putting in.
02:44:27.000 Isn't that crazy when you think about how many people here have phones and how many people are addicted to phones?
02:44:32.000 We can't even make our own?
02:44:33.000 But we gave that up.
02:44:35.000 But forever?
02:44:37.000 Can't we adjust?
02:44:39.000 The only way it adjusts is if other countries bring up their standard living to ours and their income level to ours, then the price of labor becomes the same.
02:44:50.000 Because that's the big variable.
02:44:51.000 That's the big difference.
02:44:52.000 Or you make so much value in things being American that you'll pay more for it the same way you pay more for labels, right?
02:44:59.000 Like you'll pay more for Nike than you do for some no-name sneaker.
02:45:03.000 But then you have to make it a better product.
02:45:06.000 Well, Nike's a really good product, but there's some sneakers that are not as well known that are also really good products, so they'll cost like half as much.
02:45:14.000 Yeah.
02:45:15.000 Because Nike has a lot of name brand value.
02:45:17.000 I don't know why I'm using the word Nike, but it could be anything.
02:45:20.000 You could have Adidas.
02:45:21.000 There's a lot of things that people will buy and they'll pay more for because it's a brand.
02:45:25.000 Yeah, branding makes a difference, but it's...
02:45:28.000 What about the brand of American Made?
02:45:30.000 Again, make it better.
02:45:32.000 This was a thing, right?
02:45:33.000 When an American car automatically meant it was...
02:45:35.000 Right, but the brand is not necessarily better, right?
02:45:38.000 There's a pride in owning Nike.
02:45:40.000 You've owned something that's got a great label.
02:45:42.000 What about a pride in owning something that's made in America?
02:45:44.000 But you also have faith in the label.
02:45:47.000 In other words, when you buy a Nike shoe...
02:45:49.000 That's true.
02:45:50.000 ...you have faith that this is a good shoe.
02:45:52.000 It's a quality shoe.
02:45:53.000 Right?
02:45:53.000 Yeah.
02:45:53.000 So if there was a time when made in America...
02:45:57.000 It meant it was better.
02:45:58.000 The cars are a perfect example.
02:46:01.000 So you automatically bought it.
02:46:03.000 So now you have to once again build that in.
02:46:07.000 And it takes a long time.
02:46:08.000 This is another thing about American economy versus world, right?
02:46:12.000 American economy, they're based on the profits in the next quarter.
02:46:16.000 You know, whereas like Toyota was making plans in the 70s to run the American, the world car market in the 90s.
02:46:23.000 Like they plan long term.
02:46:25.000 You have to look at it like that.
02:46:27.000 Right, right, right.
02:46:28.000 That it's not just a matter of quarterly dividends.
02:46:31.000 You have to look at what are we doing with this company.
02:46:34.000 And it has to constantly make more money.
02:46:36.000 Every year it has to make more money than the last.
02:46:38.000 That's how you know it's doing well.
02:46:40.000 Yeah.
02:46:40.000 And you have stockholders that you have to listen to them.
02:46:44.000 And you adapt and try to make a better product.
02:46:47.000 I mean, you look at, like, Windows, right?
02:46:48.000 Like, we're on Windows whatever.
02:46:50.000 We're not still on Windows 1. Yeah.
02:46:53.000 Because they were like, oh, this works better.
02:46:55.000 Oh, this didn't work.
02:46:56.000 We got to change that.
02:46:57.000 Oh, this works better.
02:46:58.000 And you keep adapting and changing the product or the same thing.
02:47:02.000 Now, sometimes, you know, like with the Apple, with iPhones, it's like sometimes, look, that phone, you just changed it for the sake of changing it.
02:47:08.000 Like, there's a reason there was no iPhone 9, right?
02:47:11.000 They were like, all right, we can't fool them anymore.
02:47:14.000 We've got to hold it off.
02:47:15.000 No, they made it to iPhone X because it was the 10th year.
02:47:18.000 It was the 10-year anniversary of the iPhone.
02:47:21.000 2017, it started out in 2007. So 2017, there's the iPhone X to mark the 10-year anniversary.
02:47:27.000 That's why there's no iPhone 9. But there is an iPhone 9 now.
02:47:30.000 It's an SE. SE, yeah.
02:47:32.000 So you need to...
02:47:34.000 I think you can do it, but you have to build a value into making it American.
02:47:39.000 And part of that is marketing, right?
02:47:41.000 Like the F-150, there's nothing more American than a Ford pickup truck, but it's made in Mexico. 1.00
02:47:47.000 Is it really?
02:47:48.000 Yeah, there's F-150 plants in Mexico.
02:47:50.000 They're not all made here in the U.S. Just like BMWs, SUVs are made in South Carolina.
02:47:57.000 Yeah, isn't that weird?
02:47:59.000 Hondas, the NSX, made in Ohio.
02:48:01.000 Made in Ohio.
02:48:02.000 And this is what I'm talking about, about the global part.
02:48:05.000 They figured out, well, it was cheaper to make because America buys the most SUVs.
02:48:11.000 So BMW said, well, let's just make them there.
02:48:13.000 Then we don't have to ship them across an ocean.
02:48:15.000 Right.
02:48:16.000 Makes sense.
02:48:17.000 And then the same thing probably with the NSX. They're like, listen, there's going to be a bunch of wacky Americans who buy this fucking ridiculous super horsepower four-wheel drive Honda. 0.99
02:48:27.000 Right. 0.99
02:48:27.000 So you make it there. 0.99
02:48:30.000 Now, when you talk about that value, there are some things, like Ferraris, you know, like it's a Ferrari.
02:48:37.000 So it has a value to it, and the fact that it's Italian adds to the value of it, right? 0.92
02:48:44.000 Yeah.
02:48:45.000 Yeah, when you talk about adding value, like something Italian, like we're just like, well, yeah, even though a lot of times the quality was like, you know, Falling off or whatever, but it was just the fact that it's Italian.
02:48:59.000 So, yes, we could do that, but I don't know that anybody will.
02:49:04.000 Yeah, it was designed by artisans.
02:49:05.000 That's the idea.
02:49:06.000 I mean, if you go, a buddy of mine went to a Lamborghini factory.
02:49:09.000 He said, first of all, he goes, they stop working for like two or three hours and they just eat pasta and take naps.
02:49:15.000 Yeah.
02:49:16.000 And he's like, it takes forever to make your car.
02:49:18.000 Yeah, but they do it all by hand.
02:49:20.000 Yeah.
02:49:21.000 You know, and there really is an art to it.
02:49:24.000 Oh, yeah.
02:49:25.000 Yeah, we don't, I mean, we don't make bad cars anymore.
02:49:28.000 The cars we make now are getting a lot better than they used to be, like, especially SUVs, like the new Lincoln Navigator is amazing.
02:49:35.000 I love that.
02:49:35.000 And there's a new Escalade that they're going to release.
02:49:37.000 Right, that's going to be amazing. 0.96
02:49:39.000 It looks fucking incredible. 0.86
02:49:40.000 Which they had to do because the new Navigator was so good. 0.97
02:49:43.000 And then they have the new mid-engine Corvette, which is a monster.
02:49:46.000 I mean, that's an incredible platform that they're operating on.
02:49:50.000 And people that drive it said it's like leaps and bounds better than any Corvette that's ever existed before.
02:49:55.000 And then we have great Camaros. 0.98
02:49:57.000 There's a lot of shit they make now that's good. 0.99
02:49:58.000 The new Mustangs are amazing. 0.99
02:50:00.000 There are a lot of great American cars.
02:50:01.000 The problem is they let their reputation slack so much that if you talk to a new car, like a first-time car buyer, And ask them what they want, they're not going to name an American car.
02:50:15.000 They want a Mercedes or a Porsche.
02:50:17.000 Right, or they want a Toyota or a Honda or something like that.
02:50:22.000 Something super reliable.
02:50:23.000 People would ask me what to buy in cars, and I'd always tell them, get a Honda, because it's just going to run forever.
02:50:29.000 It ain't going to break.
02:50:30.000 Toyota's the same thing?
02:50:31.000 Toyota's the same.
02:50:32.000 But yeah, you get one of those.
02:50:34.000 And I wish I could say, get a Chevy.
02:50:37.000 And I'm sure there is one, but I don't know what it is.
02:50:39.000 I don't know what to...
02:50:40.000 Dude, I've owned two of those original NSXs.
02:50:43.000 I had one, I got rid of it.
02:50:44.000 I got a second one, I got rid of that.
02:50:46.000 I never had a problem.
02:50:47.000 Never.
02:50:47.000 Not a single problem.
02:50:48.000 And they're sports cars.
02:50:49.000 Mid-engine sports car, like a race car, no problems.
02:50:53.000 Last forever.
02:50:54.000 Yeah.
02:50:54.000 And they were all built like that.
02:50:57.000 It's just a level of quality.
02:50:59.000 But yeah, you're right.
02:51:00.000 Listen, the Camaros, the Navigators, the Mustangs, there's so many cars like that that are great American cars, but people...
02:51:08.000 Again, you hurt your reputation.
02:51:11.000 For so long.
02:51:12.000 You built so many bad ones for so long that people are like, man, I had a 78 Corvette.
02:51:17.000 It's the worst car I ever owned.
02:51:19.000 It was...
02:51:21.000 Man, Joe, and when it would break, it wasn't mild.
02:51:25.000 Like, it wasn't, you know, no, it was like, oh, yeah, your intake manifold cracked.
02:51:29.000 Like, you know, intake manifold, like a major metal piece at the end, they're like, yeah, that just cracked.
02:51:36.000 Yeah, your radiator, the bottom of it just rusted out to nothing.
02:51:39.000 Just, you know, like, it was, oh, man.
02:51:42.000 And what ultimately killed the car was the wheel came loose.
02:51:49.000 The wheel came off the car while I was driving it.
02:51:53.000 Did something break off of the suspension?
02:51:54.000 Yeah.
02:51:55.000 Oh, God.
02:51:56.000 The controller arms?
02:51:58.000 The control arm behind the brake, yeah.
02:52:00.000 Oh, God.
02:52:01.000 Yeah, so it lost the wheel. 1.00
02:52:03.000 Yeah, they made some dog shit cars. 0.98
02:52:05.000 Because that was when they were trying to figure out emissions, and they were trying to figure out mileage, and you had a small block V8 engine. 0.99
02:52:14.000 I remember, the car only made 180 horsepower.
02:52:17.000 Like, I have motorcycles that make that much horsepower.
02:52:20.000 This was a Corvette.
02:52:21.000 How slow was it?
02:52:22.000 Oh, Joe, it was a horrible thing.
02:52:24.000 It was, oh, jeez.
02:52:27.000 180 horsepower for a Corvette sounds so crazy.
02:52:30.000 Because now the base model's like 460. Yeah, but at that time, you know, in 1978, that's when they had the Mustang II. Ugh.
02:52:40.000 Oh, remember that? 1.00
02:52:42.000 Oh, what a hunk of shit that was. 1.00
02:52:44.000 And the Camaro was a full-size Camaro that came with like a six-cylinder engine that made like 98 horsepower. 1.00
02:52:51.000 And it was huge, like a Chevelle.
02:52:53.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:52:54.000 It was this big steel car with a little...
02:52:57.000 Yeah, it was American cars where, you know, I love my country. 0.99
02:53:01.000 Those cars were garbage. 0.99
02:53:03.000 Look at that. 1.00
02:53:05.000 Look at that thing. 0.92
02:53:06.000 That was a Mustang.
02:53:07.000 To imagine going from, take that, get a good look at it, right?
02:53:13.000 Get it.
02:53:14.000 Now, I want you to say 69 Mach 1. Now you Google a 69 Mach 1 Mustang.
02:53:22.000 And then you realize how fucking far the mighty... 0.62
02:53:26.000 Right there. 0.89
02:53:27.000 Right there.
02:53:28.000 Boom, son! 1.00
02:53:29.000 I mean, what the fuck? 1.00
02:53:32.000 How is that the same thing? 1.00
02:53:34.000 That is a monstrous, beautiful, sexy, ferocious vehicle.
02:53:39.000 Because you took the company away from the engineers and you gave it to the bean counters and the board members.
02:53:47.000 Who didn't, you know, who didn't want to drive.
02:53:49.000 Like, you saw Ford vs.
02:53:51.000 Ferrari.
02:53:52.000 I haven't seen it.
02:53:53.000 Oh, you haven't seen it?
02:53:53.000 Oh, you gotta see it.
02:53:54.000 It's a great movie.
02:53:55.000 Great movie.
02:53:56.000 That movie looks like a Bad Company song.
02:53:58.000 It was...
02:53:59.000 Right?
02:54:00.000 Or that car, rather.
02:54:01.000 There's a scene in the movie where the...
02:54:05.000 Head, like the CEO or whatever of Ford, goes to see Carroll Shelby, and Carroll Shelby puts him in one of his cars and says, take him out, and they scare the shit out of him.
02:54:17.000 Like, they show the car, like, it's so fast and powerful that the guy's like, build one. 0.90
02:54:25.000 You know, but these are people, like, this is what happens when you have a car company run by people who don't know shit about cars, you get a Mustang II. God damn it. 0.99
02:54:33.000 Or you get a 180 horsepower Corvette that wheels fall off of. 0.99
02:54:37.000 Just imagine, though, going from that 69 Mach 1 to that Mustang II in just 10 years, right?
02:54:44.000 10 years, man.
02:54:45.000 That's crazy. 1.00
02:54:46.000 The people that were there for the Mach 1 had to be like, what the fuck? 0.99
02:54:50.000 Imagine if that happened to us from 2010 to 2020. You'd be like, what the fuck happened? 0.99
02:54:57.000 2010 was not that long ago. 0.99
02:55:00.000 Listen, go to the 80s.
02:55:02.000 Remember they tried the front-wheel drive cars like the Chevy Citation?
02:55:08.000 I had a front-wheel drive car.
02:55:09.000 All of those cars. 1.00
02:55:11.000 Me and my brother laugh about those cars because they were such crap. 0.99
02:55:15.000 The Citation had a vertical radio for some reason. 0.99
02:55:20.000 And there was an Oldsmobile.
02:55:23.000 Remember?
02:55:23.000 I don't know if you remember this.
02:55:25.000 The 468 engine that was an eight-cylinder engine that would cut off cylinders, like cut down to six cylinders.
02:55:32.000 Oh, when you're on the highway?
02:55:33.000 When you're cruising?
02:55:34.000 Yes.
02:55:35.000 I do remember that.
02:55:36.000 And of course, it didn't work.
02:55:38.000 The theory was great that, yeah, you're in V8 when you need it in a four-cylinder, but...
02:55:44.000 Don't they still have that kind of setup on some Cadillac?
02:55:46.000 Yeah, but now they have computers and electronic fuel controls that it actually works. 0.99
02:55:51.000 Back then it was like, no, this shit don't work. 0.98
02:55:54.000 Is there ever a business that's fallen so hard so fast as the United States automobile business from like the 60s to the 70s? 1.00
02:56:01.000 Steel.
02:56:02.000 Steel?
02:56:02.000 U.S. Steel, yeah.
02:56:04.000 They started, I think Japan took over steel.
02:56:07.000 Oh.
02:56:08.000 Because I knew people in Pittsburgh when steel went, Pittsburgh went...
02:56:13.000 Almost bankrupt.
02:56:14.000 Pittsburgh had the same fall as Detroit, but they bounced back.
02:56:18.000 But yeah.
02:56:21.000 That whole thing, man.
02:56:23.000 They used to build Camaros and Firebirds right here in Van Nuys.
02:56:26.000 Did they really?
02:56:27.000 Yeah, in the 80s.
02:56:28.000 When I moved here, the Camaro Firebird plant was in Van Nuys. 0.99
02:56:32.000 They built some dog shit cars. 0.99
02:56:33.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:56:34.000 Those 1980s Firebirds, what in the fuck are you making? 0.99
02:56:37.000 The Thunder Chicken, man. 0.99
02:56:38.000 You get that big sticker on the...
02:56:39.000 Remember that?
02:56:40.000 Yeah, but the...
02:56:41.000 There's some that they did good.
02:56:43.000 That's one that you don't see enough restomods done correctly.
02:56:47.000 It feels like if someone took a Burt Reynolds-style Trans Am and did it correctly and redid it, you just don't see much.
02:56:54.000 Look at that.
02:56:55.000 If someone just did that right.
02:56:57.000 But those were the cars.
02:56:58.000 They had a big engine that made no power.
02:57:02.000 Nothing.
02:57:03.000 Terrible. 1.00
02:57:04.000 Slow as fuck. 1.00
02:57:05.000 It was just a big, big engine that didn't make any power. 1.00
02:57:08.000 But God, it looked like it did.
02:57:09.000 Looked like a great car. 1.00
02:57:10.000 It looks like it should be fast as fuck. 0.98
02:57:12.000 Remember T-Tops? 0.98
02:57:13.000 Remember those?
02:57:14.000 Oh, I do remember those.
02:57:15.000 You had to take your T-Tops off and put them in the trunk.
02:57:19.000 It's funny though, that was the only car that had a painting on every hood like that.
02:57:23.000 Yeah.
02:57:25.000 Yeah.
02:57:25.000 The Trans Am was the one.
02:57:27.000 You had to get the Thunder Chicken.
02:57:29.000 Yeah.
02:57:30.000 There's one in that show that I watch, Ozark.
02:57:33.000 Did you watch it, Jamie?
02:57:35.000 That guy's got a pretty badass one.
02:57:37.000 See if you can find that.
02:57:38.000 Google Trans-Am from Ozark.
02:57:40.000 Stumble across a spoiler, I bet.
02:57:42.000 Oh, you think so?
02:57:43.000 I don't know.
02:57:43.000 I haven't seen it yet.
02:57:45.000 You haven't seen the Trans-Am yet?
02:57:46.000 Just write Trans-Am from Ozark.
02:57:49.000 Wasn't Knight Rider, wasn't that a Trans-Am? 0.70
02:57:52.000 Or a Firebird?
02:57:54.000 I think that was an 80s.
02:57:56.000 Yes, it was. 1.00
02:57:56.000 It was one of them dog shit ones. 1.00
02:57:57.000 That was an 80s Firebird. 0.99
02:57:59.000 No, that's not it.
02:58:01.000 It's an older one.
02:58:02.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:58:04.000 Let me see what that looks like. 0.74
02:58:05.000 Yeah, that's pretty fucking nice. 0.86
02:58:07.000 Yeah. 0.91
02:58:07.000 He's got a pretty fucking nice one. 0.91
02:58:09.000 That's rare, though, that you see like a resto mod, like a really done up Trans Am. 0.96
02:58:14.000 Yeah.
02:58:15.000 Yeah, the 80s...
02:58:16.000 Knight Rider was an 80s Trans Am.
02:58:19.000 Yeah, talk to him.
02:58:20.000 Right. 1.00
02:58:20.000 Goddamn, that was a dumb show. 1.00
02:58:22.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:58:22.000 People were just different back then. 1.00
02:58:24.000 It's like, if you ever wanted proof that people were evolving rapidly, watch 80s TV shows, like drama shows.
02:58:30.000 The 80s was a special time, man.
02:58:32.000 MacGyver?
02:58:33.000 There's so many things 80s.
02:58:34.000 Miami Vice.
02:58:35.000 Yes!
02:58:36.000 Right?
02:58:36.000 There's so many things 80s that were just 80s.
02:58:39.000 Yes.
02:58:39.000 You know?
02:58:40.000 Yeah.
02:58:40.000 Yeah.
02:58:41.000 Miami Vice.
02:58:42.000 Miami Vice, man.
02:58:43.000 Didn't he have a Lamborghini or something like that?
02:58:46.000 Ferrari Testarossa.
02:58:47.000 Yeah, Testarossa.
02:58:48.000 The white one, remember?
02:58:50.000 The white Testarossa with the things on the side.
02:58:53.000 Crockett and Tubbs.
02:58:54.000 What happened to the other dude?
02:58:56.000 I don't know.
02:58:59.000 Yeah, they had the pastel suits.
02:59:02.000 Yes, with no socks.
02:59:03.000 They had no socks on always.
02:59:05.000 Look at them.
02:59:06.000 Loafers, no socks.
02:59:08.000 Not a bad showback.
02:59:09.000 That was a Ferrari, that car.
02:59:10.000 That was a different Ferrari.
02:59:12.000 I think that was what he had early.
02:59:13.000 He had that one, and then he got the Testarossa.
02:59:18.000 That's weird being the other guy though, right?
02:59:20.000 Like Don Johnson, entire career. 1.00
02:59:23.000 Gotta suck. 1.00
02:59:24.000 And then you're the... 1.00
02:59:25.000 What were we watching?
02:59:26.000 There was some...
02:59:27.000 Oh, Transformers was on, right?
02:59:31.000 And, you know, in the first scene in the Transformers when they're in the desert and it's like...
02:59:39.000 There's like five military guys, you know?
02:59:42.000 And the first three that get killed, I was like, imagine being one of those guys, and then you watch Tyrese Gibson and the other guy go on to this billion-dollar franchise, and you got killed in the first scene.
02:59:55.000 Why didn't I live?
02:59:57.000 Yeah.
02:59:59.000 By the way, I've been that guy in a few movies.
03:00:01.000 How many movies have you done?
03:00:02.000 I haven't done many.
03:00:04.000 I've done maybe five.
03:00:05.000 I am very strict in my casting.
03:00:08.000 I can be a security guard or a bouncer.
03:00:12.000 I've played a security guard as a bouncer. 0.97
03:00:16.000 When you think about those kind of shows, like Fast and the Furious, like those movies, how the fuck did that happen? 0.89
03:00:22.000 How did those movies make that much money? 0.91
03:00:24.000 It's a simple formula.
03:00:26.000 But how many people are buying that simple formula over and over again?
03:00:28.000 How is that happening?
03:00:29.000 Because it's almost like a cartoon, right?
03:00:32.000 Listen, when the first Fast and the Furious came out, it's like, okay, we got cars, we got women, we got guns.
03:00:39.000 Do we even need a script?
03:00:41.000 Do we even need a script?
03:00:42.000 Just turn it loose.
03:00:43.000 And that's what every movie, right?
03:00:46.000 Yeah, just make the cars bigger, make the guns bigger, make the guys bigger.
03:00:51.000 Drifting, jacked. 0.98
03:00:51.000 The women are hotter. 0.98
03:00:53.000 If you watch Fast and Furious Tokyo Drift, apparently every schoolgirl in Japan is wearing a Catholic school miniskirt at all times. 0.81
03:01:07.000 Tokyo Drift.
03:01:09.000 But it worked.
03:01:10.000 It's a simple formula.
03:01:11.000 Look at the amount of money it made.
03:01:13.000 Absolutely.
03:01:14.000 Oh my god.
03:01:14.000 1,518,722,794.
03:01:19.000 What in the fuck? 0.99
03:01:21.000 Worldwide does way better this year. 0.99
03:01:23.000 Oh my god.
03:01:24.000 Way better.
03:01:24.000 That's one movie.
03:01:26.000 That's the Fast and the Furious 7. One movie made that much money.
03:01:30.000 But look at...
03:01:31.000 Two of their movies made over a billion dollars!
03:01:33.000 Yeah, why wouldn't they?
03:01:35.000 It's a cartoon formula that works.
03:01:38.000 That's amazing.
03:01:38.000 It's a formula that works.
03:01:40.000 Look at the total.
03:01:41.000 It's almost six billion worldwide.
03:01:43.000 Flashy, beautiful...
03:01:44.000 Yeah, stuff like that.
03:01:46.000 How could it not work?
03:01:48.000 How could it not work?
03:01:52.000 And if I tell you I'm the head writer...
03:01:54.000 If I tell you I wrote The Fast and Furious, how are you going to prove me wrong?
03:02:00.000 Listen, man, I love muscle cars and I hate those movies.
03:02:03.000 So what does that say?
03:02:04.000 But that was part of the first, the first movies were muscle versus tuner, right?
03:02:10.000 They even got you.
03:02:11.000 They got you in the beginning.
03:02:13.000 You got the muscle car.
03:02:14.000 No, what I'm saying is they got the muscle car guy.
03:02:16.000 Yeah, they got the muscle cars, but they didn't get me.
03:02:19.000 I was like, what is this movie?
03:02:20.000 No, not you, but you know what I'm saying.
03:02:21.000 But they got the muscle car fans in the beginning.
03:02:24.000 They don't have that anymore?
03:02:25.000 Vin Diesel drove the muscle car all the time, right?
03:02:29.000 He had that Dodge or Chrysler or whatever it was.
03:02:32.000 He had that through like the first three movies, right?
03:02:38.000 How do you know so much about these movies?
03:02:39.000 Oh, I love watching those.
03:02:41.000 Man, Joe, I love bad movies, man.
03:02:45.000 Do you?
03:02:45.000 Biker Boys.
03:02:48.000 Thank you.
03:02:49.000 Biker Boys has to be one of the... 1.00
03:02:52.000 I just turned someone on to it.
03:02:54.000 It's Lawrence Fishburne in a motorcycle drag racing movie.
03:02:59.000 What?
03:03:00.000 When was this made?
03:03:02.000 And it's not just him.
03:03:04.000 83?
03:03:05.000 2003. Orlando Jones is in...
03:03:07.000 Look, that's Orlando Jones right there!
03:03:09.000 That is Orlando Jones.
03:03:11.000 Look at Lawrence.
03:03:12.000 Are you kidding?
03:03:12.000 Lawrence Fishburne?
03:03:13.000 Kid Rock runs the white biker gang. 0.80
03:03:18.000 What is this?
03:03:19.000 Oh, yeah.
03:03:20.000 Oh.
03:03:20.000 What is this?
03:03:21.000 It's a world fueled by power.
03:03:23.000 Oh, my God.
03:03:24.000 I might have just found my new favorite movie. 0.99
03:03:27.000 Holy shit, this looks bad. 1.00
03:03:29.000 There's Kid Rock with a dog collar. 1.00
03:03:32.000 Kid Rock and a dog collar.
03:03:36.000 Oh my, it's a life driven by respect.
03:03:39.000 Oh my god. 0.92
03:03:41.000 Wait a minute, that's a black dude with a motorcycle vest on from a gang. 0.95
03:03:46.000 He's got a black dude in the Hells Angels?
03:03:49.000 What? 0.99
03:03:49.000 They have the same kind of motorcycle vest as Hells Angels, which is so silly. 0.99
03:03:54.000 Yeah, Lorenz Tate right there.
03:03:55.000 Oh my god, this looks bad.
03:03:57.000 Ready, set, go!
03:04:00.000 Yeah, man.
03:04:01.000 I love bad car and bike movies.
03:04:04.000 I love those.
03:04:05.000 And the other bad movies I like. 0.97
03:04:07.000 The badass chick, like she kicks everyone's ass, but it's like a bad movie, but she's badass going through it. 1.00
03:04:15.000 Whenever they hit me with, you may also like, I'm like, you damn right I may also like. 0.98
03:04:21.000 I want to see it. 0.70
03:04:23.000 I want to see it.
03:04:25.000 Yes. 0.96
03:04:25.000 You may also like, you damn right I'm going to hustle up. 0.96
03:04:29.000 Yeah, Biker Boys and Torque fight. 0.95
03:04:33.000 Torque's another one?
03:04:34.000 Torque and Biker Boys were the same movie.
03:04:36.000 They tried to do a Fast and Furious on motorcycles.
03:04:39.000 Oh my God.
03:04:40.000 Now, Torque stars Ice Cube and it's like a white biker group and a black biker group and Ice Cube's in it and Dane is in it.
03:04:51.000 Dane Cook's in it and just, yeah, they were horrible movies.
03:04:57.000 And as a motorcycle rider, they're even better because it's even worse.
03:05:02.000 You know what I mean? 0.97
03:05:03.000 Because you can point out what's horseshit about it. 0.91
03:05:05.000 Oh man, it was so much fun. 0.95
03:05:07.000 Drag racing.
03:05:08.000 There you go.
03:05:09.000 Wow, that looks fake.
03:05:10.000 This isn't even the trailer.
03:05:11.000 This is a scene from the movie.
03:05:13.000 Oh look, that's him driving.
03:05:14.000 That bike, that was actually made.
03:05:16.000 Leno has one of those.
03:05:18.000 It's a jet-powered motorcycle.
03:05:20.000 That's a jet-powered motorcycle.
03:05:21.000 It doesn't fly like that, but what the hell?
03:05:24.000 Why not?
03:05:25.000 That's that dude who was in 30 Days of Nights.
03:05:29.000 Maybe.
03:05:30.000 I don't know.
03:05:31.000 Yeah, he's a bad guy in a lot of movies.
03:05:34.000 He's really good as a bad guy.
03:05:37.000 Come on, man.
03:05:37.000 How do you not watch this?
03:05:38.000 Look at this.
03:05:39.000 Easy.
03:05:40.000 Oh, come on. 0.87
03:05:41.000 There's no way I'm watching this.
03:05:42.000 Are they shooting at each other?
03:05:43.000 Yes, of course they're shooting.
03:05:44.000 Of course they're shooting at each other.
03:05:46.000 In downtown LA. Alonzo.
03:05:48.000 And you get to see the bullet.
03:05:49.000 I can't.
03:05:50.000 Dude, it's already been three hours, believe it or not.
03:05:52.000 Oh, man.
03:05:53.000 How quickly does time fly by?
03:05:56.000 Everybody who's out there, next Thursday, May 7th, I'm doing a virtual comedy show at the NowhereComedyClub.com.
03:06:07.000 We were going to talk about this.
03:06:08.000 We talked about it earlier a little bit.
03:06:10.000 Yeah, please check it out though.
03:06:13.000 NowhereComedyClub.com.
03:06:14.000 It's what we're talking about.
03:06:16.000 I'm doing comedy from my living room as if there's a crowd and you guys will be the virtual crowd and we'll have a great time.
03:06:24.000 Joe, I love this, man.
03:06:25.000 Thank you.
03:06:26.000 My pleasure, brother.
03:06:27.000 You tested me.
03:06:28.000 I'm negative.
03:06:29.000 I'm happy about that.
03:06:30.000 Nice to hear, isn't it?
03:06:31.000 This was fantastic.
03:06:33.000 You're going to watch Biker Boys because it's in your head now.
03:06:36.000 I think I will.
03:06:37.000 It's in your head.
03:06:37.000 I think I must.
03:06:38.000 I don't know about Torque, but Biker Boys. 1.00
03:06:40.000 No, you're going to have to see Biker Boys and you're going to have to see Lawrence Fishburne drag racing a motorcycle on a farm on a dirt road because that's where you drag race, right? 0.95
03:06:50.000 Yeah.
03:06:52.000 I don't want to know anymore.
03:06:54.000 What's your Instagram?
03:06:56.000 Tell everybody.
03:06:57.000 Instagram, zofunny.
03:06:58.000 Everything else is at Alonzo Bowden.
03:07:00.000 So it's only Instagram that's zofunny.
03:07:02.000 Only Instagram.
03:07:03.000 And notebooks.
03:07:04.000 We didn't even get to talk about that.
03:07:05.000 We're both in Owen Smith's notebooks.
03:07:08.000 So many people love that to see what we did at the beginning of our career.
03:07:13.000 Oh man, we were bad.
03:07:14.000 We were bad.
03:07:16.000 But I wasn't biker boys bad. 1.00
03:07:18.000 I'm going to watch it.
03:07:19.000 How did I not get it?
03:07:20.000 When you watch that movie, you're going to be, how's Alonzo not in this movie?
03:07:24.000 I love you, brother.
03:07:25.000 Thank you for being here, man.
03:07:26.000 Thank you so much, Joe.