The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1483 - Jesus Trejo

00:00:02.000 Jesus!

00:00:02.000 What's up, man?

00:00:03.000 What's up, brother?

00:00:03.000 Good to see you.

00:00:04.000 Good to see you, man.

00:00:05.000 Thank you so much for this amazing opportunity.

00:00:07.000 I couldn't sleep last night.

00:00:08.000 Oh, get out of here. 1.00

00:00:10.000 Yeah, no, I was excited.

00:00:11.000 I laid down my outfit and ironed it.

00:00:14.000 I'm like, you know, yeah, lint roller.

00:00:17.000 That's so crazy.

00:00:18.000 Dude, you and I have been friends for years.

00:00:20.000 You gotta relax.

00:00:21.000 But this is a big deal.

00:00:22.000 I mean, you're... 1.00

00:00:24.000 Try to get that shit out of your head. 1.00

00:00:26.000 Try to get that big deal out of your head. 1.00

00:00:27.000 Yeah.

00:00:29.000 Just clean it.

00:00:30.000 Clean it.

00:00:30.000 You got a big deal.

00:00:31.000 Tomorrow night, Showtime.

00:00:32.000 Well, when this airs, it'll be tonight.

00:00:34.000 Yeah, it'll be tonight.

00:00:35.000 Showtime!

00:00:36.000 My first one hour special.

00:00:37.000 That's amazing.

00:00:38.000 I'm excited for you.

00:00:39.000 I've seen you working it out. 0.99

00:00:40.000 It's hilarious shit. 0.98

00:00:41.000 Thank you. 0.99

00:00:41.000 And I know you've been really grinding up until this pandemic. 0.99

00:00:44.000 But luckily you filmed it.

00:00:46.000 You got under the wire, right?

00:00:47.000 How many months out were you?

00:00:49.000 I filmed it November 2nd.

00:00:51.000 Oh, okay.

00:00:51.000 So you missed it by a couple months.

00:00:52.000 That's good.

00:00:53.000 Yeah, November 2nd I filmed it.

00:00:54.000 And, you know, people think I named the special Stay at Home Son because of what was going on.

00:00:58.000 But I landed on the title in the summer.

00:01:02.000 It's called Stay at Home?

00:01:03.000 Yeah, Stay at Home Son.

00:01:04.000 Okay.

00:01:05.000 And I, you know...

00:01:06.000 If I would've named it now, I would've put a comma right before the sun.

00:01:10.000 Really drove the point, but yeah, I was excited.

00:01:13.000 And yeah, my first one hour special, it's like one of those things where you dream about it as a kid, and here it is, and it's like, ooh.

00:01:19.000 How many years have you been doing stand-up now?

00:01:21.000 13. Oh, that's good.

00:01:23.000 I started when I was 20, and I'm 33 now.

00:01:25.000 There's a thing that they say, I don't know who they are, but I say it too.

00:01:29.000 Who are they?

00:01:30.000 Who are they?

00:01:32.000 10 years.

00:01:33.000 It takes 10 years to become a real comic.

00:01:35.000 That's what they always say.

00:01:36.000 I don't know why they say that.

00:01:38.000 Is it like the black belt?

00:01:39.000 It takes 10 years more or less to get a black belt and then the learning begins?

00:01:44.000 Well, you're always learning.

00:01:45.000 I think that learning begins stuff is kind of...

00:01:48.000 It's a weird way to say it because you're always learning.

00:01:51.000 I understand what they're saying.

00:01:55.000 It's like there's an expression.

00:01:56.000 I think it was either Dennis or Terrence McKenna said that when the bonfire of knowledge increases, the surface area of ignorance is exposed.

00:02:07.000 So the idea is that the more you know, the more you realize the possibilities and the less you really think you ever knew anything.

00:02:15.000 When you're young, your knowledge is so limited and your world is so small that you get cocky and you think...

00:02:23.000 Also, your brain's not fully formed.

00:02:25.000 You think... 0.98

00:02:27.000 You're way smarter than you really are.

00:02:28.000 But as you get older, the older I get, and the more I understand, I'm like, oh, this is all madness. 1.00

00:02:33.000 This whole thing is tied together with bubblegum and fucking shoestrings. 0.99

00:02:37.000 They could fall apart and fly off into the universe. 0.98

00:02:39.000 As I get older, I'm less confident in everything.

00:02:44.000 I'm more puzzled by everything.

00:02:47.000 And I think I know way less.

00:02:49.000 The more I know.

00:02:50.000 I know way more than I knew when I was 18. But I'm way less confident...

00:02:55.000 Yeah, that's absolutely true.

00:02:57.000 The older I get, I seem to just even doubt myself more because I'm like, what do I know?

00:03:01.000 I guess even in stand-up, when you first start out and you have those first few minutes, you're like, oh no, this is funny.

00:03:07.000 And then with time, you're like, that was not funny at all.

00:03:10.000 So it's like you hold things less dear.

00:03:14.000 It's not like your first five minutes, you're like, oh man, this is...

00:03:18.000 You know, late night show, here we come, and it's just like, looking back, I couldn't believe I was doing that.

00:03:23.000 But that's how I tricked myself into doing new material.

00:03:26.000 It's like, I imagine that this is day one of stand-up for me, and this is the only material I got, and I think it's hilarious.

00:03:33.000 And I go up there and I try to do it, as if I'm starting out, and I think that's the only material I have.

00:03:39.000 Right.

00:03:39.000 That's a good way to do it, man.

00:03:41.000 I mean, I think the method that guys are doing now, like, I guess, like, Louie probably started it off.

00:03:47.000 Because Louis was doing one a year for a little bit.

00:03:50.000 I think that's too much.

00:03:51.000 I think it's too much one a year.

00:03:52.000 But something happened around that time where I think, I believe Louis C.K. was probably one of the big reasons why people started doing a lot of really regular specials.

00:04:05.000 Because if he wasn't the top guy, he was certainly at the top.

00:04:08.000 And you've got to remember that this is when Chris Rock took that self-imposed exile, just decided to not really do shows, except whenever he wanted to, for like 10 years.

00:04:17.000 So during that time, Louis really came up.

00:04:21.000 And Louis, when he was at its peak, was doing a stand-up special every year.

00:04:25.000 And I think even he thinks that they weren't as good as they could have been if he gave it two years or three years.

00:04:30.000 But then everybody started doing that so throw your material out and then the the number if you go back I bet I bet if we had like a chart that show the number of stand-up specials made like when the internet became really popular in like the 2000s and then things started getting on the internet like YouTube clips Everything just ramped up everything in a big way the not just a sheer volume and everybody does the same thing now you abandon your material and then you do all new stuff and And I think Louis C.K. during that time too,

00:05:00.000 he disrupted the business model of introducing the $5 special.

00:05:03.000 So it became something that was like, hey, you can self-produce it, put it out there.

00:05:07.000 There's no middleman exactly.

00:05:10.000 But I feel like throwing away the hour every year seems to be like what comics do overseas from what I understand.

00:05:19.000 Like the Edinburgh Fest, they go in, they do the...

00:05:21.000 They do the themes, right?

00:05:22.000 Yeah.

00:05:22.000 Yeah, they do kind of like...

00:05:23.000 Have you been?

00:05:24.000 I've never been.

00:05:25.000 I would like to experience that, but I think American comics really honed this special for years, you know?

00:05:31.000 And it takes so long to get the first one and then in between, but now it's like, you know, like you said, it happens a lot more.

00:05:38.000 Everybody's doing it now.

00:05:39.000 Ari loves that Edinburgh.

00:05:40.000 He says it right, too. 0.57

00:05:41.000 I say it wrong.

00:05:43.000 Edinburgh?

00:05:43.000 Edinburgh.

00:05:45.000 Do you know how?

00:05:51.000 But they do themes apparently.

00:05:53.000 I haven't been, but the way Ari describes it, it's like, you know, to do a theme on childhood.

00:05:57.000 So like this whole hour, they'll write over the year and it'll be dedicated to childhood.

00:06:02.000 No, then they'll go perform it at, you know, a special and then the next year they have a new theme.

00:06:07.000 It's like they favor the one-man show kind of thing.

00:06:10.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:12.000 But they have their own versions of it, right?

00:06:16.000 There's like the Eddie Ift version, or Eddie Izzard, rather.

00:06:19.000 Eddie Ift.

00:06:20.000 Eddie Ift.

00:06:20.000 The Australian version.

00:06:22.000 Eddie Ift.

00:06:23.000 You know Eddie, right?

00:06:24.000 Yeah, yeah, of course.

00:06:25.000 American.

00:06:26.000 Does a lot of stand-up in Australia.

00:06:28.000 But the Eddie Izzard, excuse me, his version of it is different than, say, like...

00:06:35.000 Like, who's the...

00:06:37.000 Ricky Gervais, I would say, is like the top dog, right, that's over here in America from England, and he does pretty much American-style stand-up, wouldn't you say?

00:06:45.000 Would you say that?

00:06:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:47.000 Pretty much American-style.

00:06:48.000 I mean, he hosts shows here, so it's more in tune and in sync with what we gravitate towards here in the States, I believe.

00:06:57.000 Well, he's also a very brave social commentator. 0.93

00:07:00.000 When some shit's going down, he's usually got a hot take, and it's usually controversial but usually correct. 0.99

00:07:06.000 He's got balls. 0.99

00:07:07.000 He's a critical thinker. 0.93

00:07:08.000 I put him in that category, and I think a lot of comedians have this critical thinking mind.

00:07:14.000 I'm not one of those.

00:07:15.000 I'm more of the goofier side of things.

00:07:17.000 But in the spectrum of comedy, I think there's like Gervais and, you know, it's like Chappelle and yourself that kind of dissect, you know, a certain element of a premise, you know, it's like they walk down an alley and they flash the flashlight on the tangents and explore it.

00:07:31.000 It's almost like a modern day philosopher.

00:07:33.000 I feel like, you know, back then they would go to the plaza, talk, you know, these points out.

00:07:38.000 But now it's like it's comedy.

00:07:39.000 Well, one thing I've noticed, in particular in these last couple of months, when we haven't been able to do stand-up, first of all, some people are figuring out how to do it anyway.

00:07:49.000 Andrew Schultz got it nailed.

00:07:50.000 Andrew nailed it.

00:07:51.000 He's got it nailed.

00:07:52.000 Nailed it.

00:07:52.000 He's absolutely making the most.

00:07:54.000 They're so fun to watch.

00:07:55.000 Yeah.

00:07:55.000 I'd be turning the phone before he tells me to turn it.

00:07:57.000 Like, that's how excited I am real quick. 0.98

00:08:00.000 Dude, he's put out some fucking amazing ones. 0.98

00:08:02.000 That one on Joe Biden was just epic. 0.99

00:08:05.000 It was epic.

00:08:05.000 I didn't see that one.

00:08:06.000 Oh my God, how Biden's the perfect president for right now because the world is fucking crazy. 0.98

00:08:10.000 I did see that. 0.98

00:08:12.000 It's so good.

00:08:13.000 It's like he's writing these pieces and then he's doing a different thing because the comedy clubs aren't available, which is where he would be working all this stuff out in the comedy club.

00:08:21.000 So instead of just waiting, he said, no, I'm going to just do it and I'm going to make this content and just make it so good I don't even need an audience.

00:08:29.000 Everything's rapid fire.

00:08:31.000 Monologue.

00:08:32.000 He's having fun. 0.98

00:08:33.000 You can tell he's being silly and having fun. 0.60

00:08:35.000 They're great, man. 0.93

00:08:36.000 They're great.

00:08:36.000 It's presented perfectly.

00:08:39.000 Yeah, everything about it, it's impeccable.

00:08:42.000 Yeah.

00:08:42.000 It really is.

00:08:43.000 And my boy Tim Dillon, his shit that he's been doing during this pandemic, it's been some of the best. 0.99

00:08:49.000 I saw the one you posted yesterday, hysterical. 1.00

00:08:51.000 Oh my god, he's an animal. 0.86

00:08:52.000 He's an animal.

00:08:53.000 And he's so prolific.

00:08:55.000 I love that.

00:08:56.000 He's always working, always doing something.

00:08:58.000 Yeah, he's bulletproof for sure.

00:08:59.000 He's so good.

00:09:00.000 Yeah.

00:09:01.000 He's so funny and just the sweetest guy ever.

00:09:04.000 He's the best guy.

00:09:05.000 And I think that there's a real hope for the future stand-up, knowing that in this dangerous time, guys like that are still out there swinging from the hips, like throwing bombs.

00:09:17.000 Andrew Schultz throws bombs. 1.00

00:09:20.000 He's saying the shit... 1.00

00:09:22.000 In these videos that he would say if you guys were just hanging out. 1.00

00:09:25.000 He's like, fuck it. 1.00

00:09:27.000 This is what's funny. 1.00

00:09:28.000 I feel like that liberty can be taken now because there's no network in the forefront.

00:09:33.000 It's his channel.

00:09:34.000 He can take those risks.

00:09:35.000 He's not worried about getting let go, per se, of anything.

00:09:37.000 But there is some kind of repercussion on social media.

00:09:41.000 Social media, people are adding him and stuff like that, reaching out.

00:09:45.000 But not that it matters.

00:09:47.000 He does the comedy he wants to do, and I think that's satisfying as a comic to see.

00:09:50.000 It's the only way he could do it.

00:09:52.000 He's one of those dudes.

00:09:53.000 He's an all-in.

00:09:55.000 Marches to the beat of his own drum.

00:09:57.000 There's guys that'll step into...

00:10:00.000 Traditionally, comics have been kind of lazy.

00:10:05.000 A lot of us are alcoholics.

00:10:08.000 A lot of us gamble.

00:10:09.000 A lot of us sleep late and irresponsible and...

00:10:14.000 And for the longest time before all these specials were getting produced, a lot of guys were doing the same material forever.

00:10:20.000 Just kept doing it forever and ever and ever.

00:10:22.000 Well now you're forced into this position where you can't really do that when there's no shows.

00:10:29.000 So who steps up and who does stuff and picks up the pace of the stuff that they're doing online?

00:10:35.000 And that's where Schultz has come in, Tim Dillon, and a lot of these guys are doing that.

00:10:41.000 Fahim, he does a lot of hilarious...

00:10:44.000 He's so funny.

00:10:44.000 He's so funny, man.

00:10:46.000 So unique. 0.95

00:10:47.000 Fahim Anwar has a bunch of great shit with him, having conversations with him. 0.98

00:10:52.000 Yeah, he's so funny. 0.98

00:10:55.000 And again, he recognizes that he can write his own stuff and just puts it out there.

00:11:00.000 It's done very simple, like, editing-wise.

00:11:02.000 Yeah, it's all phones.

00:11:04.000 It's great.

00:11:05.000 It's great.

00:11:05.000 He's one of the guys that I love watching at the store, Fahim.

00:11:09.000 Jamar Neighbors.

00:11:11.000 Dude, no one's ever done the Instagram better than Kyle Dunnigan.

00:11:14.000 I've said that before, I'll say it again till the day I die. 1.00

00:11:17.000 That motherfucker... 1.00

00:11:18.000 Goes in? 1.00

00:11:19.000 Oh my god, have you paid attention to his face swaps? 0.99

00:11:22.000 Have you ever watched the Kyle Dunnigan shit? 1.00

00:11:24.000 You've never seen Kyle Dunn and shit? 1.00

00:11:25.000 I gotta follow him. 0.99

00:11:26.000 Yeah, I gotta follow him.

00:11:26.000 Oh my god, dude.

00:11:28.000 He's got a bit where Bill Maher is in a gangbang, and you can't breathe when you watch it.

00:11:33.000 It's so preposterous.

00:11:35.000 It is so preposterous, and it's that really bad face swap, which makes it better.

00:11:39.000 Right.

00:11:40.000 Because when it's too, like, Dr. Fakenstein or the Fakening, those guys are scary. 0.99

00:11:44.000 They're scary.

00:11:45.000 Yeah, it's not fun.

00:11:45.000 They do it so good, it's like, what?!

00:11:47.000 That's Trump's face on a baby.

00:11:49.000 How'd you do that?

00:11:50.000 This stuff looks whack. 0.99

00:11:52.000 It's wobbly and shit, but it's like South Park. 0.98

00:11:55.000 It doesn't have to be realistic, and the fact that it's not realistic adds to why it's so funny. 0.99

00:12:00.000 You're not attached when Kenny dies every episode.

00:12:03.000 He's not like a real little kid with his head goes flying off. 0.99

00:12:05.000 That'll be fucked up. 0.98

00:12:07.000 There's something satisfying comedically when you see the production value not at 100%. 0.98

00:12:11.000 It's like we almost accept it more.

00:12:14.000 Yes.

00:12:15.000 Yeah.

00:12:16.000 You'll allow things to get through your filter.

00:12:19.000 Right.

00:12:20.000 Because, like, Cartman, he doesn't look like a person.

00:12:23.000 He looks like, you know, you understand that that's who...

00:12:26.000 Like a little kid drew it.

00:12:27.000 Words are coming out of that.

00:12:29.000 So that is the thing.

00:12:30.000 But when that thing dies, there's no emotional connection.

00:12:34.000 Right.

00:12:34.000 Because it's not a real thing.

00:12:35.000 It's not like a squirrel. 1.00

00:12:36.000 You see a squirrel get hit by a car like, ah, fucking little guy. 1.00

00:12:40.000 But if you see Kenny get killed, there's nothing. 1.00

00:12:43.000 You're like, alright, I can't wait for next episode, kind of thing.

00:12:46.000 Yeah, I mean, the squirrel might come back as a butterfly.

00:12:48.000 It might be a good death.

00:12:49.000 Right. 0.93

00:12:49.000 It might be a good passage for him. 0.93

00:12:51.000 That's what's great with cartoons, you know?

00:12:52.000 It's like, all of that's like, yeah, it doesn't harm.

00:12:56.000 Bro, imagine if that was really what life was.

00:12:58.000 Like, you started off as a single-celled thing, and then that died, and the next life you come back as a multi-celled organism, and then that dies.

00:13:06.000 Right.

00:13:06.000 And then you work your way through the worm world, the insect world, the spider world.

00:13:11.000 What if we're at the end of a long process that started, not just biologically started with the first single-celled organisms, but that's a graduation that the life form has to go through?

00:13:25.000 I think that would be cool.

00:13:26.000 Sounds dumb, because I am, but...

00:13:28.000 I think it would be cool, and if people had an idea that that's what was happening, I think people would be a lot more mindful. 0.56

00:13:35.000 You'd be like...

00:13:35.000 Because you would experience every level along the way.

00:13:37.000 It would mean something to be at the level that we're at, right?

00:13:40.000 Yeah.

00:13:42.000 People wouldn't take life for granted as much because it's like, man, I have to go through every step of the way to get to here.

00:13:47.000 You see what I'm saying? 0.96

00:13:48.000 Well, you also run into people that seem like they got a fucked up roll of the dice from the start. 0.88

00:13:55.000 Like, almost like they're starting out life at a deficit from another life. 0.95

00:14:01.000 Like, they owe money on their past life.

00:14:03.000 Like, they fucked their past life up so bad, they're coming back in this one, they're doing their best, but... 0.86

00:14:09.000 Yeah, you should've paid the tickets off, bro. 0.99

00:14:10.000 And then there's other people that believe shit that's even weirder. 0.99

00:14:13.000 And all this shit's weird, right? 0.99

00:14:14.000 Because here's what's weird. 0.99

00:14:15.000 Just what we know is true.

00:14:17.000 People have sex, they make babies, those babies live to be a certain time and then they die. 0.95

00:14:21.000 And they have sex and they have babies and then we just all keep doing this.

00:14:24.000 But everybody's living like they're living forever.

00:14:26.000 That's crazy!

00:14:27.000 Is it so crazy that you do this same life over and over and over again until you get it right?

00:14:34.000 Is that crazy?

00:14:35.000 I don't think it's crazy.

00:14:36.000 It's almost satisfying because it's like, oh, I have another shot at doing it right because this one wasn't what I wanted it to be. 0.99

00:14:42.000 I think that mind fucks you. 1.00

00:14:46.000 If you really knew that that was true, you'd be so mind fucked. 1.00

00:14:50.000 I don't know if you'd be able to live in the moment. 0.98

00:14:54.000 Yeah, because you would be so concerned and like, yeah, I got other lives.

00:14:58.000 I'm not worried about it.

00:14:59.000 Well, not just that, but you would be thinking like, what's the point?

00:15:02.000 It's just, I'm just going to do this forever and ever and ever?

00:15:06.000 Right.

00:15:06.000 Like, am I cool with that?

00:15:08.000 Do you think the human mind wants like a kind of a...

00:15:12.000 A structure.

00:15:12.000 An ending.

00:15:13.000 Like they want to, like an ending.

00:15:14.000 I want to know how this ends.

00:15:16.000 Well, this is how you have to look at it.

00:15:17.000 This is how, no, you don't have to look at it this way.

00:15:19.000 But from, this is how I look at it.

00:15:21.000 Yeah, that's the way I'll look at it, Joe.

00:15:24.000 We exist in these shifts that we all agree are necessary, like sleep.

00:15:31.000 So we have on and off, and on and off, and nobody violates that.

00:15:36.000 No one gets to not go off.

00:15:39.000 On and off.

00:15:40.000 You could hold off for a long time, two days, I've been up for 48 hours, boom, and you go down.

00:15:48.000 You might go down for 12 hours.

00:15:49.000 Right.

00:15:50.000 We all agree that this is a part of this thing that we do so I Think we take comfort in like Having markers like oh, it's lunchtime.

00:16:02.000 Oh, it's dinner time Let's watch a show and then I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed and you know it gets to you get to these markers where they're in your head and it kind of makes life make sense like oh, you're just looking forward to the next thing and looking forward to the next thing but If you knew for a fact that this life goes on forever,

00:16:21.000 forever and ever and ever, it could go on a million eons.

00:16:25.000 You got to get it right.

00:16:26.000 Right. 0.99

00:16:27.000 If this life doesn't give a fuck what the 1950s were like or what kind of cars people drove in the 70s, this life doesn't give a fuck. 0.99

00:16:34.000 It's just going to do the same thing again. 0.99

00:16:35.000 Over and over again.

00:16:36.000 Over and over and over and over again.

00:16:38.000 Yeah, there's some kind of, yeah, maddening kind of That's crazy.

00:16:43.000 What if it's even worse?

00:16:44.000 Talk to me, Joe.

00:16:45.000 What if you start off as a single-celled organism again?

00:16:48.000 Right.

00:16:48.000 And you've got to work your way all the way through.

00:16:50.000 Like, yeah, reincarnation's real, but it takes millions of years.

00:16:54.000 What if reincarnation is real?

00:16:56.000 What if you get to the top of the game and then, boom, start off as a bug.

00:17:00.000 And you go through the whole thing all over again.

00:17:04.000 Until you become you again.

00:17:06.000 The exact same you, confronted by the exact same situations with different outcomes.

00:17:11.000 Maybe like a hint.

00:17:12.000 Like something in the back of your head.

00:17:13.000 Like, hey man, I think we've done this before.

00:17:14.000 Don't do it this time.

00:17:16.000 Hey man, don't run that yellow light!

00:17:18.000 It's too long, Jesus!

00:17:19.000 Don't run that yellow! 0.50

00:17:20.000 Boom! 0.99

00:17:22.000 But that's what makes it interesting, is to have a recollection of the previous, you know?

00:17:26.000 That's what would change and, you know... 0.99

00:17:28.000 A nine fucker's too hard. 0.99

00:17:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:17:31.000 Sometimes I feel like you do.

00:17:32.000 You have something.

00:17:33.000 Because we know that, like, dogs have, like, serious instincts, man.

00:17:38.000 Like, crazy instincts that are built in.

00:17:40.000 They all have them.

00:17:41.000 Like, where's that coming from?

00:17:42.000 Where are they getting the information?

00:17:43.000 Why do they know to smell piss?

00:17:45.000 Why do they know to pee on the spot that another dog did?

00:17:47.000 Like, I didn't have to teach my dog that.

00:17:49.000 They all do it.

00:17:50.000 Every dog does it.

00:17:50.000 It's like, where is that information?

00:17:52.000 What is happening to that dog that wants to do that?

00:17:55.000 And where's it getting that from?

00:17:56.000 I think it's getting it through its genetics.

00:17:59.000 It's getting it through its ancestors.

00:18:00.000 So there's some sort of a memory or programming that the ancestors have left in the thing.

00:18:05.000 It's not a blank slate.

00:18:06.000 Dogs are not blank slates.

00:18:08.000 I mean, they say everything has some kind of level of programming.

00:18:12.000 Even plants at the molecular level, they say they have kind of like a binary code in there, if you look deep down inside.

00:18:17.000 I've read stuff online, and it's like, I kind of believe that.

00:18:20.000 It's all part of some kind of program of some sort.

00:18:23.000 Well, they know plants communicate in these really weird ways.

00:18:26.000 Yeah, they use the mycelium.

00:18:28.000 I think that's what it's called.

00:18:29.000 They use, essentially, fungus.

00:18:32.000 In the dirt and the soil that they live in, they transmit data from plants to plants.

00:18:39.000 And if there's a group of plants, like a community of plants, and one of them needs more resources, like if it needs more water, they'll allocate more water to that plant.

00:18:48.000 It's very weird.

00:18:49.000 Weird stuff.

00:18:50.000 They've shown that it really does benefit their growth if you play music near them. 1.00

00:18:55.000 Like classical music and talking to plants, like all that wacky hippie shit. 1.00

00:18:59.000 That shit works. 1.00

00:19:00.000 I remember there was a... 1.00

00:19:02.000 Am I making that up?

00:19:04.000 I'm not, right?

00:19:04.000 No, that's real.

00:19:05.000 That's right.

00:19:06.000 Okay, that seems like one of those ones that I could get called out on.

00:19:09.000 I remember reading this case study.

00:19:11.000 It was in college, but...

00:19:13.000 So there was a doctor who had water, right?

00:19:15.000 And before he froze the water, he would...

00:19:19.000 One, he would say nice things.

00:19:20.000 The next one, he would say really mean, obscene things.

00:19:23.000 And then he would freeze it, and then the pattern of which the ice would kind of crystallize, like the one he said mean things to, like the ice would crystallize in a very dissonant way, like the pattern didn't look proper.

00:19:36.000 And then the one where he said all these nice things, it was a very beautiful, repetitive, organic thing.

00:19:43.000 Crystallization happening.

00:19:44.000 If that's true, and I don't think it is, because I'm pretty sure they debunked that.

00:19:49.000 But that's one of those ones that I have to be real careful with because I'm wishing for it to be true.

00:19:54.000 Like I hear shit like that and I go, well that would be dope if you could see that like thoughts and feelings actually come out in your words and they affect physical objects. 0.91

00:20:03.000 But I think I read that that was debunked. 0.99

00:20:05.000 Oh really?

00:20:06.000 Yeah, but I think it's one of those things...

00:20:08.000 Because it's long believed.

00:20:08.000 It's almost like the quantum leaping.

00:20:10.000 I've read stuff like that where you put your intentions in the water, and at its earlier roots, it's kind of like when we have a shot of whiskey, it's like, hey, cheers, and it's putting to your good health.

00:20:21.000 Yeah, to a positive intention in motion, and you feel it.

00:20:24.000 You definitely feel that, right?

00:20:26.000 That's interesting because I think we inherently know that it's a real thing.

00:20:30.000 You feel it, so that's, I think, one of the reasons why we want to see it.

00:20:33.000 That's why we would think that seeing it in the ice crystals would be cool.

00:20:36.000 Yeah, it's like under a microscope when he saw the ice, it's like you could see that design.

00:20:41.000 But, I mean, you know, 80% of our body is water.

00:20:45.000 It's like to think that there's not some kind of like living thing that it's affected by emotion and reactive to our words, which go into plants, you know?

00:20:54.000 Yeah, because we know those feelings.

00:20:56.000 Like when you run into someone that is mad at you or someone who's said something bad about you, that feeling, it's like, mm, ooh.

00:21:03.000 Yeah.

00:21:04.000 And if you see someone that you miss, like, oh, what's up?

00:21:08.000 There's that feeling, you know?

00:21:09.000 The feeling that you get when a great song comes on, you know that feeling? 0.81

00:21:13.000 Where it's like everything fucking charges up, you're like, yeah!

00:21:16.000 Yeah, it changes your mood, hence a workout playlist, you know?

00:21:18.000 Yes, exactly, exactly.

00:21:20.000 So I think sound and the sound that one can make, it's like the language could be different, but I think the vibration that stems from here, there's something that happens between here and here when it comes out, it affects people.

00:21:33.000 It's like you can have somebody not speak the language and yell at you to know that, oh, this guy's pissed.

00:21:39.000 Or just give you that look and you're like, ooh, I better get out of here.

00:21:41.000 You're right.

00:21:42.000 If someone's mad at you and they're speaking some language you don't know, it's almost like pure.

00:21:46.000 You feel it like an energy.

00:21:48.000 I don't know what this guy's saying, but I get his intentions.

00:21:51.000 His intentions are very obvious, despite the language gap.

00:21:55.000 Yeah, and to bring it full circle, even dogs.

00:21:57.000 I have a phobia of dogs.

00:21:59.000 I have a terrible phobia of dogs.

00:22:01.000 I'm better now, but I got attacked when I was younger.

00:22:04.000 But I can tell you that dogs...

00:22:07.000 They sense it.

00:22:08.000 I've been bit multiple times, unfortunately, and it keeps happening, but it's because of my nervous energy.

00:22:14.000 They pick it up.

00:22:15.000 That makes sense.

00:22:16.000 Like, hey, what's up?

00:22:17.000 And then they're charging at me.

00:22:18.000 They smell cancer.

00:22:20.000 They've taught dogs to smell cancer, which is just so crazy.

00:22:23.000 They take cancer and put it in test tubes, and the dog will run down the aisle.

00:22:27.000 I was going to say, yeah, they were trying to teach dogs to smell cancer.

00:22:30.000 People that had COVID symptoms.

00:22:31.000 Oh, wow.

00:22:32.000 At the airport.

00:22:33.000 How would they do that?

00:22:34.000 Is that possible?

00:22:35.000 I don't know.

00:22:36.000 Oh, my God.

00:22:36.000 How COVID-y would you have to be for the dog to smell it?

00:22:40.000 I think they were trying.

00:22:41.000 I don't know if they were successful.

00:22:42.000 Because doesn't everybody have, like, a few cancerous cells and your body breaks down those cancerous cells?

00:22:47.000 I think that's the key, is that, like, when you get, like, really ill with cancer, your body's just not stopping the reproduction of these damaged cells.

00:22:56.000 So I think if the dog can smell it, they can always smell it when you got like real cancer, not like what normal people, the amount of cancerous cells people have in them.

00:23:06.000 Like how many cells can they smell?

00:23:09.000 I have a theory that the dogs, like the smell that they're trained to smell, it's like there's something in the sweat.

00:23:14.000 It's like in somebody's sweat that radiates either the smell of, you know, when somebody's diabetic or when somebody, you know, it's like they have, or high blood pressure, they have these dogs to kind of pick that up.

00:23:25.000 You know, there's a very...

00:23:33.000 Yeah, or when somebody's about to get a panic attack, there's a certain level of perspiration that the body provides to warn.

00:23:43.000 It's a...

00:23:44.000 You know, when somebody faints, you know, they start to sweat and that's a mechanism that the body does to help you wake up, you know, your body goes cold after.

00:23:51.000 So it's a certain level of sweat, you know, it's like, you know, we drink coffee, we go to the restroom, we smell when we go number one, take a piss, like, oh yeah, I drank coffee earlier.

00:24:00.000 The weirdest is asparagus.

00:24:02.000 Asparagus is like, yikes.

00:24:03.000 I shouldn't be eating this. 1.00

00:24:04.000 The fuck's this too into my piss? 1.00

00:24:06.000 It's instant too. 1.00

00:24:07.000 Yeah.

00:24:07.000 Right away.

00:24:07.000 One little piece.

00:24:08.000 I know, isn't that crazy?

00:24:09.000 Like, how is it so instant?

00:24:10.000 Like, you chew that asparagus, and within five minutes, you're peeing asparagus smell.

00:24:15.000 It's like, now I'm peeing radiator fluid.

00:24:16.000 How is it going through that quick?

00:24:18.000 How quick does that stuff work? 0.75

00:24:20.000 What is it?

00:24:22.000 Yeah, it's interesting.

00:24:23.000 Yeah.

00:24:23.000 The body's fascinating.

00:24:24.000 Well, life is fascinating.

00:24:27.000 You know, it's just like this is what we're peering at life through.

00:24:31.000 We're peering at life through the lens of being a human being.

00:24:34.000 But all of it is fascinating, man.

00:24:36.000 I go down these nature video rabbit holes.

00:24:40.000 Usually it's like one of those nature is metal Instagram posts that gets me.

00:24:45.000 Oh, that account is gnarly.

00:24:48.000 Gnarly.

00:24:49.000 You can't watch that before going to bed.

00:24:51.000 I'm up.

00:24:51.000 I'm like, oh boy.

00:24:53.000 No, I made a mistake of watching these.

00:24:55.000 I think they're wild dogs tear apart this.

00:24:58.000 It was like some sort of antelope.

00:25:00.000 They had disemboweled and they were spinning around.

00:25:03.000 It was either hyenas or wild dogs.

00:25:04.000 They're tearing this thing apart while it's alive.

00:25:06.000 I'm like, what?

00:25:07.000 Whoa, daddy.

00:25:09.000 Yeah, there was one where I saw that they were like biting the leg, the butt, the neck, and the animals still fighting for life.

00:25:20.000 And the hyenas didn't care. 0.99

00:25:21.000 They don't give a fuck. 1.00

00:25:22.000 They just eat you. 1.00

00:25:22.000 They eat you while you're alive. 1.00

00:25:24.000 Dude, we are so divorced from what nature is.

00:25:28.000 We're so separate from it.

00:25:29.000 We're so delusional.

00:25:33.000 We're so delusional that people try to get closer to the scarier animals to take pictures with them.

00:25:40.000 Not thinking that they're on the menu.

00:25:42.000 Big ass giant bears and that lady in South Carolina that got eaten by the alligator. 0.92

00:25:48.000 She was trying to take a selfie with the alligator. 0.99

00:25:51.000 Yeah, she was trying to get close to the alligator and just fucking ate her. 1.00

00:25:54.000 It's like, what? 0.96

00:25:55.000 Years ago, do you remember this story where this woman was doing a safari and she got out of the van because there was some argument?

00:26:02.000 Yes.

00:26:02.000 And the lion or tiger was waiting.

00:26:06.000 That was in China.

00:26:08.000 She got mad.

00:26:09.000 I believe it was in China.

00:26:10.000 She got mad, stepped out of her car and was yelling. 1.00

00:26:14.000 And then someone gets out of the car to talk to her.

00:26:17.000 Come on, get back in the car. 0.99

00:26:18.000 And then this fucking tiger comes up, just snatches her and drags her away. 1.00

00:26:22.000 And what was fucked up is it wasn't even her that died. 1.00

00:26:24.000 It was actually her mom that died. 0.99

00:26:26.000 Her mom went after her with the tiger and then the tiger killed her.

00:26:31.000 Oh, so the first girl got away and then, oh my god. 0.99

00:26:35.000 Yeah.

00:26:36.000 I think she was just in an argument with somebody.

00:26:39.000 Yeah, and it's like for the tiger, it's like a hot pocket.

00:26:43.000 As soon as the doors open, they're done.

00:26:45.000 They can't help themselves.

00:26:46.000 This is my number one problem with the zoo.

00:26:49.000 You can't just feed them.

00:26:54.000 Because they don't want that.

00:26:55.000 They want to kill things.

00:26:56.000 So you've turned them into couch potatoes.

00:26:59.000 They're going to live, and they're going to die, and you're going to feed them meat, which means that animals have to die. 0.97

00:27:05.000 If you want to not be cruel, you should have those animals kill animals. 0.63

00:27:09.000 That's what it should be.

00:27:11.000 It should be like they are in the wild, or as close to it as it can get.

00:27:15.000 And you can't just feed them meat on a tray and expect them to be happy.

00:27:20.000 Psychologically, they lose something, right?

00:27:23.000 They get depressed.

00:27:25.000 It's a mammal instinct to work for something. 1.00

00:27:29.000 Yeah, they're designed to go chase shit and kill it. 1.00

00:27:32.000 Here it says, the lady said... 1.00

00:27:35.000 I don't look like a deer and move closer to the alligator apparently trying to touch it the 10-foot alligator estimated 400 to 500 pounds then attack covert who officials said was five feet tall and 100 pounds this crazy lady Decided that she was going to Touch a fucking alligator It's not even her fault. 1.00

00:28:00.000 People don't get it drilled into their head what an alligator actually is. 0.97

00:28:04.000 There's dinosaurs that live amongst us.

00:28:06.000 It's not just an alligator.

00:28:07.000 You give it a name and then it's in your head.

00:28:09.000 Oh, there's the alligator.

00:28:10.000 Oh, there's an alligator. 1.00

00:28:11.000 That's a fucking giant reptile. 0.99

00:28:14.000 Put that back up again so I can read that one part of it. 1.00

00:28:16.000 It is a giant reptile. 0.99

00:28:18.000 And they have no brain. 1.00

00:28:19.000 They have this tiny little fucking brain. 1.00

00:28:21.000 The animal latched onto Covert's leg and began pulling her into the water. 1.00

00:28:26.000 Oh, Christ.

00:28:27.000 Witnesses ran to the water's edge, tried rescuing her.

00:28:30.000 A neighbor brought the rope that was used to try to pull Covert safely back to the shore.

00:28:35.000 Amid the rescue attempt, witnesses report Covert very calmly saying, I guess I won't do this again.

00:28:40.000 She was pulled underwater moments later.

00:28:43.000 Witnesses said Covert never even screamed during the attack. 1.00

00:28:48.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:28:49.000 Wow. 1.00

00:28:50.000 She's probably in shock.

00:28:51.000 Yeah.

00:28:51.000 She's probably in full shock.

00:28:53.000 It happened so quick.

00:28:54.000 I mean, those things move so dang quick.

00:28:55.000 Alligators still holding on by the leg.

00:28:57.000 Her body was finally surfaced across the pond with the alligator still holding her by the leg. 0.68

00:29:02.000 It quickly dragged her back underwater, Deputy said.

00:29:05.000 Jesus Christ.

00:29:06.000 When the alligator resurfaced with Covert's body again, a deputy fired several shots from his 9mm service pistol, killing the alligator and allowing the first responders to retrieve Covert's body, according to the sheriff's office.

00:29:19.000 So that cop killed a monster that ate a lady that just lives in the neighborhood. 0.99

00:29:25.000 Like, here's the thing.

00:29:26.000 We get used to the fact that alligators live places.

00:29:29.000 Right.

00:29:29.000 So it's not a big deal.

00:29:32.000 You know, oh yeah, there's an alligator.

00:29:33.000 If you live in Florida, like I lived in Gainesville for a bit, I saw alligators all the time.

00:29:37.000 You see them. 0.98

00:29:38.000 If there was no alligators, and then all of a sudden there was alligators, we'd want to kill them all. 1.00

00:29:43.000 If alligators came from outer space, like a fucking UFO filled with crocodiles, came from outer space and just started eating swimmers, we'd be like, we've got to gun these fucking things down. 1.00

00:29:52.000 We've got to kill them. 1.00

00:29:53.000 They're going to eat people. 1.00

00:29:54.000 Sure.

00:29:55.000 But they were already there.

00:29:57.000 But they're already there.

00:29:57.000 So we're like, oh, Florida Gators.

00:29:59.000 Go Gators! 1.00

00:30:00.000 Go Gators! 1.00

00:30:01.000 Go people eating monsters.

00:30:04.000 Oh, man.

00:30:04.000 And you see footage of golf courses with these alligators just chilling.

00:30:10.000 Chilling.

00:30:12.000 And people are laughing.

00:30:13.000 Look, he's right there.

00:30:14.000 Dude, a baby got eaten by one at Disneyland last year.

00:30:17.000 A baby.

00:30:18.000 They got alligators at Disneyland?

00:30:19.000 Yes. 0.99

00:30:20.000 Dude, they have to fucking chase them away. 0.99

00:30:24.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:30:25.000 I went there.

00:30:25.000 I went there with my family, and my youngest daughter and I went fishing.

00:30:30.000 We went out onto this lake, and we're going bass fishing.

00:30:33.000 It was really fun.

00:30:34.000 It was great.

00:30:34.000 Florida's like the best bass fishing in the world.

00:30:37.000 But everywhere you look, is that a log?

00:30:39.000 Is that a gator?

00:30:39.000 Is that a log?

00:30:40.000 Is that a gator?

00:30:40.000 What is that?

00:30:41.000 Is that a log or a fucking dinosaur that's going to eat me? 0.99

00:30:43.000 Like, bro, they get huge. 1.00

00:30:45.000 Huge.

00:30:46.000 Like 15 feet.

00:30:47.000 Yeah.

00:30:48.000 And that's common.

00:30:49.000 That's not like a, oh, yeah.

00:30:51.000 Normal.

00:30:51.000 That's a normal thing?

00:30:52.000 Normal shit. 1.00

00:30:52.000 It happens all the time. 1.00

00:30:54.000 There was one, we went back and forth on this, Jamie, that was, we couldn't find it at first, the one where the alligator was stopped traffic.

00:31:02.000 Bro, it's crazy.

00:31:03.000 Oh, wow. 0.89

00:31:04.000 It's, well, they're all crazy, but it's crazy. 1.00

00:31:07.000 It's like, you hear you are driving your car, and this, I don't give a fuck dinosaur is just walking across the street. 0.99

00:31:13.000 Right. 0.99

00:31:14.000 Well, hey, they're building cities in their neighborhood.

00:31:19.000 Sort of.

00:31:20.000 The real thing is they're overpopulated.

00:31:22.000 Look at that thing. 1.00

00:31:23.000 What the fuck, bro? 1.00

00:31:25.000 You imagine you're on your way to your car. 1.00

00:31:29.000 What are you doing?

00:31:29.000 Baby, come on.

00:31:31.000 You know, you got like a pack of gum and a fucking Diet Coke and you're looking for your keys and you look and 15 feet away from you, that thing is walking across the median. 0.99

00:31:43.000 What? 0.99

00:31:44.000 Some poor guy twirling a sign going, I'm gonna go inside for a little bit.

00:31:48.000 Look at that prehistoric monster.

00:31:51.000 Like, just look how it walks. 0.99

00:31:54.000 What a ruthless, heartless monster. 0.94

00:31:59.000 Someone sent me a video. 0.85

00:32:00.000 I'm trying to find it to show you, but there were two alligators fighting in the middle of a residential street, and one got the other by the head.

00:32:09.000 The video, these guys are filming for four or five minutes.

00:32:11.000 One guy goes and tries to grab the tail to pull them apart.

00:32:14.000 It doesn't work.

00:32:15.000 All muscle, too.

00:32:17.000 What's interesting is the alligator is the calmer of the species, and because it's the calmer of the species, it allows it to live alongside people, and people tolerate it.

00:32:29.000 Because you see an alligator, and keep playing that because it's freaking me out.

00:32:33.000 Yeah, I just want to see him move.

00:32:35.000 We tolerate that.

00:32:37.000 But we won't tolerate crocodiles.

00:32:39.000 You know why?

00:32:39.000 Because you can't.

00:32:40.000 Because crocodiles just kill everything they find.

00:32:43.000 Crocodiles kill people every day.

00:32:45.000 Every time they're around people, they try to kill them.

00:32:47.000 Alligators will let most things slide. 0.99

00:32:50.000 And that's one of the reasons, I think, why they made it this long.

00:32:55.000 They have a different attitude about things.

00:32:57.000 They're less aggressive. 0.99

00:32:58.000 The crocodile is too much of a threat, and the balance of the ecosystem is so fucked up. 0.97

00:33:02.000 Somebody released, because Florida's crazy, somebody released a couple of Nile crocodiles in the Everglades, and a biologist found them, and they issued a shoot on sight. 1.00

00:33:13.000 Just kill them. 1.00

00:33:14.000 You have to kill them. 1.00

00:33:16.000 You can't let them survive. 1.00

00:33:17.000 If you see a Nile crocodile, because if they take hold, and they start taking up Real estate in the Everglades and breeding, breeding populations of Nile crocodiles in that fucking already unmanageable shithole of pythons. 0.99

00:33:31.000 Dunzo. 0.99

00:33:32.000 Imagine if there was a spot in Florida that's just filled with monsters, just call it monster soup. 1.00

00:33:37.000 Fuck calling it the Everglades. 1.00

00:33:38.000 What do you got? 1.00

00:33:39.000 Oh, 20-foot pythons and Nile crocodiles. 1.00

00:33:42.000 There was a crocodile or- Oh shit! 0.99

00:33:45.000 Look at this! 0.99

00:33:46.000 An alligator is swimming in a Texas lake with a knife in its head.

00:33:50.000 Oh no. 1.00

00:33:50.000 What in the fuck? 1.00

00:33:52.000 Sugar Land. 1.00

00:33:53.000 And the guy who tried to stab him in the head with the knife inside his stomach. 0.80

00:33:56.000 Oh my god.

00:33:57.000 Yeah, that guy's gone.

00:33:58.000 Look at that knife.

00:33:59.000 It's deep in its head too.

00:34:00.000 See, that's what I'm saying, man.

00:34:01.000 You can't have something in your community that could just swim around with a knife in its head and be fine with it.

00:34:07.000 You know, every other animal would be freaked out.

00:34:09.000 Just like, hey, what's up, guys?

00:34:10.000 What's that on your head, Bob?

00:34:11.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:34:12.000 If a raccoon had a knife in its head, it'd be like, trying to pull that fucking knife out of its head. 1.00

00:34:17.000 Where'd you get the hat, Bob? 1.00

00:34:19.000 I don't know.

00:34:19.000 Some guy gave it to me.

00:34:20.000 Yeah, that thing's just swimming around.

00:34:22.000 I don't even know.

00:34:22.000 I can't see.

00:34:23.000 There was an alligator in a park out in, what is it, Harbor City?

00:34:27.000 There's like a little park.

00:34:28.000 I forget the name of the park, but somebody had dumped one in there or something like that.

00:34:31.000 Oh, great.

00:34:31.000 And it was just taking down ducks.

00:34:33.000 It was like a bunch of ducks go there and it was just taking down ducks.

00:34:36.000 And I guess the family spotted it and they closed down the park until they got it out and they did some mitigation there with the swamp to clean it up because it was filthy.

00:34:47.000 People were throwing stuff in there.

00:34:48.000 Did you see the video from Mexico of the cartel guy had a tiger and the tiger got loose?

00:34:55.000 No.

00:34:55.000 And these dudes are chasing the tiger down the street.

00:34:59.000 They're chasing them.

00:35:00.000 Really?

00:35:00.000 Yes.

00:35:00.000 They're on this road with a lasso.

00:35:02.000 These fucking Mexican cowboy dudes. 1.00

00:35:04.000 No way. 1.00

00:35:05.000 Yeah, man.

00:35:05.000 And they're trying to lasso this tiger.

00:35:07.000 What?

00:35:08.000 What?

00:35:09.000 Yeah, they got a tiger and they lassoed it.

00:35:11.000 And see, again, if the tiger gets upset and just decides to jump on one of them, it's game over.

00:35:17.000 It's game over.

00:35:18.000 Look at homeboy.

00:35:20.000 This recently happened?

00:35:21.000 Yes, man.

00:35:22.000 It happened last week.

00:35:23.000 Oh, my God.

00:35:24.000 Last week-ish?

00:35:25.000 Yeah, I was going around on Twitter.

00:35:27.000 One guy with a chair and shorts.

00:35:29.000 He showed up to work.

00:35:30.000 Look at these cowboys.

00:35:32.000 Oh my goodness.

00:35:33.000 This guy's got a chair in front of him. 1.00

00:35:34.000 You think that's going to help you, bitch? 1.00

00:35:36.000 Oh my god, look at the size of that thing. 1.00

00:35:37.000 Look, he lassoed it. 1.00

00:35:39.000 Bro, those fucking cowboys are bad ass. 1.00

00:35:42.000 Do you know what kind of a badass you got to be to throw a fucking lasso around a tiger's neck on a street in what city? 1.00

00:35:50.000 Yeah, what part of it? 1.00

00:35:54.000 Guadalajara.

00:35:55.000 Guadalajara.

00:35:55.000 That's where my mom's from.

00:35:56.000 Hysterical.

00:35:57.000 Guadalajara.

00:35:58.000 Someone's got a tiger.

00:35:59.000 Imagine getting that call from the boss.

00:36:01.000 It's like, hey, I need you to go get my tiger.

00:36:03.000 What? 1.00

00:36:04.000 What the fuck did you just say, bro? 1.00

00:36:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:36:07.000 Oh man.

00:36:08.000 That's insane.

00:36:09.000 I don't know why people want those kind of pets.

00:36:13.000 It's not something that you can tame.

00:36:15.000 It's wild people.

00:36:17.000 Like Mike Tyson, when he was champ, he had tigers.

00:36:20.000 That's right.

00:36:21.000 We had a hilarious conversation about it.

00:36:24.000 He was about a horse first, right?

00:36:25.000 He was trying to get a horse, and then the guy said, if you want, I can get you a tiger.

00:36:29.000 He's like, you get me a tiger?

00:36:31.000 Something like that, yeah.

00:36:32.000 Something like that.

00:36:33.000 Tyson?

00:36:33.000 Yeah, Tyson.

00:36:35.000 I love that Tyson is into pigeons.

00:36:37.000 Like, that's one of my favorite—that's my favorite animal.

00:36:39.000 I'm just so enamored with pigeons, and they're like, you know, they say the rats of the sky, but, man, they're so resilient.

00:36:45.000 Like, they're not supposed to thrive the way they do when they do.

00:36:48.000 Yeah, they're an invasive species.

00:36:50.000 They're actually from Europe.

00:36:52.000 I think they're from Europe.

00:36:53.000 Might be Asia.

00:36:54.000 I don't remember.

00:36:55.000 But a pigeon was brought over here for food.

00:36:57.000 They were brought over here.

00:36:58.000 Yeah, they're like, you know what squab is? 1.00

00:37:00.000 I don't know.

00:37:01.000 Have you heard of it?

00:37:02.000 Like the meal squab?

00:37:03.000 No.

00:37:04.000 It's on menus, like fancy places.

00:37:05.000 It's pigeon.

00:37:07.000 Oh, really?

00:37:07.000 I didn't know that.

00:37:08.000 Yeah, they're saying, oh, squab is on the menu.

00:37:10.000 Excellent.

00:37:11.000 That's a pigeon.

00:37:12.000 The fine Chardonnay.

00:37:14.000 Squab is just pigeon.

00:37:16.000 Yeah, I love pigeons.

00:37:17.000 There's something about pigeons.

00:37:18.000 Make sure that's true.

00:37:20.000 I'm pretty sure it's true.

00:37:22.000 I think squab's like a baby pigeon, as like lamb is a baby sheep.

00:37:27.000 Watch it be goat chest meat.

00:37:29.000 I don't think so.

00:37:31.000 A young, unfledged pigeon.

00:37:33.000 Oh, wow.

00:37:34.000 So it is like veal, but the pigeon version of veal. 0.93

00:37:38.000 That's weird, man.

00:37:40.000 That's the one animal.

00:37:41.000 It's like pigeons.

00:37:42.000 I love pigeons.

00:37:42.000 I love goats.

00:37:44.000 But it's good to know that you can kill them and eat them. 0.98

00:37:45.000 Yeah, people eat them for sure. 1.00

00:37:48.000 People eat them quite a bit.

00:37:49.000 Bro, rats eat them. 0.81

00:37:50.000 You ever see the video of the rat eating a pigeon in New York City?

00:37:54.000 New York rats are resilient.

00:37:56.000 I've now seen a rat eat a slice of pizza, a pigeon.

00:38:01.000 Dude, the rats killing and eating a pigeon.

00:38:04.000 You know, they're going to rat war right now.

00:38:06.000 There's a rat war going on in New York City.

00:38:08.000 I hope someone's documenting this.

00:38:09.000 It's really interesting.

00:38:10.000 Because for the first time ever, rats don't have a steady food supply.

00:38:15.000 So all these rats...

00:38:15.000 People aren't out there.

00:38:16.000 People aren't going to the restaurants.

00:38:18.000 Not nearly as many. 1.00

00:38:20.000 Look at this rat killing a fucking pigeon. 1.00

00:38:24.000 I mean, it's crazy. 1.00

00:38:25.000 Like, he hunted it. 1.00

00:38:26.000 He's biting it by the neck, and he's holding on to the fucking pigeon and killing it. 0.98

00:38:30.000 So what's going on in New York City is cannibalism, rat wars, where rats are invading other rats' territories, because there's as many, if not more, rats in New York City as there are people. 0.99

00:38:42.000 Really?

00:38:42.000 Yeah, there's a lot of rats.

00:38:43.000 All in the subway, like tunnels.

00:38:46.000 And they're getting their food from these regular sources that now dried up.

00:38:49.000 So now they're moving into new territories, apparently.

00:38:52.000 That's what I'm reading.

00:38:53.000 Yeah, and they're attacking each other now.

00:38:55.000 Here it is.

00:38:56.000 Rats growing more aggressive, even eating each other during the pandemic.

00:38:59.000 That's insane. 0.88

00:39:00.000 Ravenous rats. 0.64

00:39:01.000 A warning for rats. 1.00

00:39:02.000 As if New York City didn't suck enough. 1.00

00:39:04.000 There's going to be a bunch of... 1.00

00:39:06.000 Other rats are trying to kill you. 0.97

00:39:08.000 I mean, everyone's stacked on top of each other during this pandemic. 0.98

00:39:12.000 I mean, it's the worst place to be in a pandemic, stacked on top of everybody.

00:39:16.000 But that makes sense with this whole pandemic stay-at-home thing.

00:39:19.000 It disrupted their food supply.

00:39:21.000 There's no way they could thrive.

00:39:22.000 Yeah. 0.84

00:39:23.000 I don't mean New York sucks either. 0.96

00:39:24.000 I mean, it sucks right now to be in New York. 1.00

00:39:27.000 And now you've got murderous rats. 0.99

00:39:30.000 Although, like, it's interesting to see, like, Mark Norman was doing a bunch of shit, was just going down the street, and there's no one on the streets. 0.99

00:39:36.000 It's a really, really rare time when no one's on the streets, and you could just go do that. 0.97

00:39:41.000 Yeah, I went to downtown LA. I've been going to downtown LA and it's like all the santee alleys and all that, it's gone.

00:39:49.000 People cannot sustain the, you know, the close down.

00:39:53.000 You know, they don't have money to pay for the leases and the rents.

00:39:56.000 It's a ghost town down there.

00:39:58.000 It's crazy.

00:39:58.000 And some people have opened up shops.

00:40:00.000 I've noticed that they opened up shops, but a lot of them, they're not opening again.

00:40:03.000 It's scary.

00:40:04.000 Like, there's no traffic.

00:40:06.000 I can get from where I live to downtown LA in like 20 minutes.

00:40:09.000 That's unheard of.

00:40:11.000 It's going to be real weird to see what happens when they turn it back on again.

00:40:16.000 And society goes back.

00:40:18.000 How long is it going to take for us to even out?

00:40:20.000 Because it's going to be a rocky restart.

00:40:22.000 It's going to be rocky.

00:40:24.000 Yeah, there's going to be some warm-up.

00:40:27.000 I saw an article that was saying people are criticizing Governor Newsom for opening up too soon.

00:40:35.000 I'm like, stay home.

00:40:37.000 Stay home.

00:40:38.000 Don't tell everybody to stay home.

00:40:39.000 You stay home.

00:40:40.000 You stay home.

00:40:41.000 Enough.

00:40:41.000 We can't just stay home forever.

00:40:43.000 This is not a valid strategy for dealing with the virus.

00:40:45.000 This is not how it works.

00:40:47.000 There's all this talk.

00:40:49.000 All this talk, like, as if anyone has the correct answer.

00:40:55.000 It is sad.

00:40:56.000 I mean, you know, we were talking about it earlier that, you know, all these businesses are going to go under like the, you know, You know, childcare and barbershops and stuff like that.

00:41:06.000 It's like gyms.

00:41:07.000 And they didn't do anything wrong.

00:41:08.000 They didn't.

00:41:08.000 They did everything right and, you know...

00:41:11.000 I don't know.

00:41:11.000 Maybe in hindsight it's going to turn out that it was the right thing to do and that it stopped the spread of the virus and even though there was some flare-ups here and there, it made people more aware and the virus eventually goes away.

00:41:21.000 Maybe it's possible.

00:41:22.000 But even if it's not the right thing to do, I think people are just, you know, doing it out of caution because we don't know what it is.

00:41:27.000 But it's not the only strategy.

00:41:28.000 There was other strategies that could be employed.

00:41:30.000 And they could have made people more cognizant in protecting themselves.

00:41:34.000 It would have really greatly slowed the risk of transmission.

00:41:37.000 And I think you could have let people stay working.

00:41:41.000 When you tell people they can't work.

00:41:44.000 I don't like that.

00:41:45.000 I don't like that not just because it's unconstitutional.

00:41:49.000 I don't like that because I don't like people telling people what to do.

00:41:51.000 And I don't like that because I don't like one person being in charge of figuring out what's right or wrong.

00:41:57.000 I don't know if it's one person or 100 people, but what's right or wrong for an entire state of 40 million people to do.

00:42:04.000 And to make up the mind for them, based on what?

00:42:08.000 Based on just because you got voted into office?

00:42:09.000 Right.

00:42:10.000 That doesn't make any sense to me.

00:42:11.000 You should be dealing with like legitimate problems, not controlling the population through some Orwellian mandate.

00:42:18.000 We just deem it that everyone has to stay home.

00:42:21.000 Then you even offer rewards for people in LA. The mayor was offering rewards for people turning people in who weren't social distancing.

00:42:29.000 Yeah, that opens up a kind of worm.

00:42:31.000 It's crazy.

00:42:32.000 It's all the wrong moves.

00:42:33.000 That's not going to help anyone.

00:42:35.000 When I heard the whole thing that you can basically snitch on somebody not wearing a mask or not doing...

00:42:40.000 And you get money.

00:42:41.000 Yeah.

00:42:43.000 You're setting people up to...

00:42:45.000 Yeah, it's not a good thing.

00:42:47.000 Dude, did you ever see the article where it says, normally, it's snitches get stitches.

00:42:51.000 But in this case, it's snitches get...

00:42:53.000 Like, they're even calling it a snitch.

00:42:55.000 And it was an official thing that they released?

00:42:57.000 Yes!

00:42:57.000 Oh, my God.

00:42:58.000 Some marketing person was like, yeah, I got the thing.

00:43:00.000 I don't know if it was an official thing or was it an article on it that was in the LA Times.

00:43:04.000 Whatever it was.

00:43:06.000 And I was like, what are you saying?

00:43:08.000 This is a terrible idea.

00:43:09.000 You're encouraging people to turn people in for rewards?

00:43:13.000 Do you not understand psychology?

00:43:15.000 There's people that have grudges against people.

00:43:18.000 There's people that don't like their neighbor.

00:43:20.000 They're just going to turn each other in.

00:43:22.000 You can't give people that kind of power.

00:43:24.000 You give people the power to just say, Tim!

00:43:26.000 It's him!

00:43:27.000 He's got the scarlet letter! 1.00

00:43:29.000 And then fucking look up your ass with a microscope, see if you've been social distancing. 1.00

00:43:34.000 Hey, Seuss, I got my eye on you. 1.00

00:43:36.000 Six feet.

00:43:37.000 Six feet.

00:43:37.000 Mask.

00:43:39.000 Hand sanitizer.

00:43:40.000 Yeah.

00:43:41.000 Stay safe.

00:43:42.000 Stay home.

00:43:42.000 Watch your head.

00:43:43.000 I'm going into a cop car. 1.00

00:43:44.000 They don't know what the fuck they're doing, man. 1.00

00:43:46.000 They don't know what the fuck they're doing. 1.00

00:43:47.000 No one knows what the fuck they're doing. 0.99

00:43:49.000 For them to tell us what to do, like, definitely you have to do... 0.99

00:43:52.000 No, maybe you should do it that way.

00:43:53.000 Maybe you should wear a mask and you should stay home.

00:43:56.000 Don't tell me what to do.

00:43:57.000 They already have had this on the county page for, like, snitches get rewards for turning people in for crimes. 0.82

00:44:03.000 I'm just looking at their site now.

00:44:06.000 Crimes...

00:44:06.000 I still don't like the reward.

00:44:08.000 The reward should be you're a good citizen.

00:44:09.000 Like if you see someone breaking into someone's car and you managed to catch their plate, you should turn that in because you're a good citizen.

00:44:15.000 You should...

00:44:16.000 It's just cash.

00:44:17.000 You get cash.

00:44:17.000 How much?

00:44:18.000 It doesn't say it says you receive payment for the reward.

00:44:21.000 It doesn't say how much.

00:44:22.000 I'm fixing to change my opinion.

00:44:25.000 Yeah, I don't know, man. 0.95

00:44:28.000 Yeah, a lot of silly stuff.

00:44:30.000 You give people money for things, you incentivize them.

00:44:33.000 It makes it dangerous because there's an incentive to go one way or the other.

00:44:37.000 So if someone sees a crime and they want to give up the information about that crime, whether it's a license plate or a description or you got a video or something like that, you do that because you're a good person.

00:44:49.000 You don't want your mom to get robbed like that.

00:44:51.000 You do that because you don't want your neighbor to get robbed.

00:44:53.000 You do that because there's a problem in your community.

00:44:55.000 There's a person who's committing a crime, and as a community, we organize, we look, we look out for each other. 0.99

00:45:00.000 This person's fucking up. 0.97

00:45:03.000 Like the inception of this program, wasn't it like a neighborhood watch program? 0.99

00:45:07.000 There's nothing wrong with that.

00:45:09.000 You always see these signs.

00:45:10.000 It's like, who is in this neighborhood watch program?

00:45:12.000 Yeah, that's the other thing, right?

00:45:13.000 How much are they watching?

00:45:15.000 People are so lazy.

00:45:17.000 There's a bunch of actual rewards up here right now.

00:45:19.000 They're looking for information on a bunch of shootings and a $25,000 reward.

00:45:24.000 Bro, here's the thing.

00:45:25.000 They don't have the time.

00:45:27.000 They don't have the time.

00:45:28.000 There's so many things that are going on in L.A. at all times.

00:45:31.000 Somebody breaks in your house, like, did you die? 0.99

00:45:33.000 We got shit to do. 1.00

00:45:35.000 They're not going to have a full-time Columbo on the job with fucking dusting for fingerprints. 1.00

00:45:39.000 They don't have that kind of bandwidth. 0.99

00:45:40.000 They don't have that kind of bandwidth.

00:45:41.000 Yeah, hiring people, especially with budget cuts.

00:45:44.000 They don't have that kind of bandwidth and manpower needed to look into everything. 0.99

00:45:49.000 Dude, this shit going down in Minneapolis is crazy. 1.00

00:45:52.000 Crazy, man. 1.00

00:45:52.000 Crazy. 1.00

00:45:53.000 You see the video of the looting stuff?

00:45:55.000 The video of the looting is crazy, but the video of the guy with his shin on that man's neck while the guy is begging for his life.

00:46:03.000 Goosebumps.

00:46:04.000 Like, it's so heartbreaking, because he's trying, and even as he's talking, he's like, officer, I can't breathe.

00:46:11.000 That guy's gotta have some sort of physical training, right?

00:46:15.000 He's gotta have, I mean, cops, do they teach them jiu-jitsu?

00:46:19.000 Some.

00:46:20.000 I don't know that any law enforcement teaches knee on the neck.

00:46:27.000 I don't know that that's a thing. 0.96

00:46:29.000 It's a shitty thing to do. 0.75

00:46:31.000 If you did that in jujitsu class, people would be really mad at you. 1.00

00:46:34.000 They'd be like, hey man, fuck you. 1.00

00:46:35.000 Get off my neck. 1.00

00:46:38.000 The position he was in too, handcuffed on the street.

00:46:43.000 So you have one really hard surface where your neck is pressed on the bottom and then him on the top coming down with his shin.

00:46:51.000 That cuts off all blood to the brain.

00:46:53.000 That cuts off your ability to breathe.

00:46:55.000 Like he's got to know that.

00:46:57.000 Everybody knows that. 0.99

00:46:58.000 If he's got any training at all, he knew what he was doing, which is so fucked up. 0.99

00:47:02.000 He was killing that guy in front of everybody with a camera on him. 0.99

00:47:06.000 Like that's what's crazy about it.

00:47:07.000 Like he was just doing it right in front of everybody.

00:47:10.000 Yeah.

00:47:12.000 You would think after all these that have been filmed all these have had like there's some sort of Education to stop this there's some sort of intervention.

00:47:22.000 There's some sort of psychological examinations They give people to stop them from getting to the point where they can't separate themselves from as a you know because he's killing a man whatever Whatever happened?

00:47:34.000 I don't know if there was a physical thing?

00:47:37.000 Was there a resisting arrest?

00:47:38.000 I don't even know what happened.

00:47:39.000 No, I don't know what happened leading up to it.

00:47:42.000 And I know there was more officers there eventually, right?

00:47:45.000 But it's like the other officers not stepping in to put a stop to what he was doing?

00:47:51.000 I mean, that's rough as well, man.

00:47:53.000 There's another one that haunts me.

00:47:54.000 There was a story of a gentleman who reached into his...

00:47:57.000 The cop was in the passenger side window and told the guy to show him his hands and let me see your wallet.

00:48:04.000 He goes and reaches for his wallet and the cop just empties his gun in him.

00:48:08.000 I don't remember how many times he shot it.

00:48:09.000 Empties sound very dramatic though. 0.99

00:48:11.000 But he shot him and killed him.

00:48:13.000 And all the guy was doing was reaching for his wallet. 0.96

00:48:15.000 I remember thinking like god damn it like how crazy are the interactions between people when you're a cop And you're in that weird position where you literally have life and death power over someone at any any moments notice You can decide that you were threatened and you had to take a life and if no one's there with a camera How many times have guys died like this where no one was there with a camera? 0.92

00:48:37.000 Right. 0.98

00:48:38.000 How many times?

00:48:38.000 Right.

00:48:39.000 It was like he was resisting arrest and he died.

00:48:42.000 Oh, I guess so.

00:48:43.000 I guess he's dead.

00:48:44.000 No big deal.

00:48:44.000 And they just have to trust the paperwork that that person fills out.

00:48:48.000 Oh, he shouldn't have got drunk.

00:48:49.000 I guess he died.

00:48:50.000 Too bad.

00:48:51.000 There's no video. 0.99

00:48:52.000 But then you see the video of that guy with his shin on that man's neck and you're like, God damn. 0.99

00:48:57.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:48:58.000 If you have any training at all, you know you're killing that guy. 0.97

00:49:00.000 And that's probably the...

00:49:04.000 Part of the problem there is not having the proper training.

00:49:07.000 Like you said, if you have any kind of jujitsu training, you would be hyper aware.

00:49:11.000 I don't know, man.

00:49:11.000 I don't know.

00:49:11.000 He might have just killed that guy.

00:49:12.000 It's hard to say.

00:49:14.000 Dude, I think people that work as cops are just like, they're people.

00:49:18.000 They're exceptional people because it's a very difficult job, right?

00:49:21.000 They're tested in a way that most of us are not tested, but they're just people. 0.99

00:49:24.000 And there's a giant spectrum of people from people that are like genuinely happy for other people and good people who do, you know, who love each other and do, and then there's fucking monsters. 0.98

00:49:36.000 There's monsters, you know? 0.95

00:49:37.000 I was watching the Unabomber documentary on Netflix. 0.99

00:49:41.000 It's really fucking creepy, man. 0.98

00:49:44.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:49:44.000 But one of the parts that's the creepiest is when he was really young, when he was a baby, he got sick. 0.99

00:49:49.000 And the doctors took the baby from the parents for a long time, like weeks.

00:49:52.000 And when the baby came back, it was never the same again.

00:49:55.000 It was detached and never focused.

00:49:58.000 He was sick, but it was also that it was not with his mother for weeks.

00:50:02.000 And something happened to him.

00:50:04.000 And then he grew up just to lack empathy and always have this anger inside of him. 0.99

00:50:09.000 Very fucking creepy, man. 1.00

00:50:11.000 Very creepy. 0.99

00:50:13.000 So just like people are like that, right?

00:50:16.000 So are cops.

00:50:17.000 The vast majority of interactions people have with cops don't end up like that, or fine.

00:50:25.000 The vast majority of all interactions I've had with cops, particularly before I was even famous, were positive.

00:50:31.000 I'm respectful.

00:50:32.000 I grew up around cops.

00:50:34.000 My martial arts background was always trained with cops.

00:50:38.000 I knew cops constantly.

00:50:39.000 They're just people, man.

00:50:40.000 And people, they vary.

00:50:42.000 The problem is, when you give people The ability to have that kind of power over other people. 0.99

00:50:48.000 I can shoot you if I think you might have a gun. 0.99

00:50:50.000 I don't even have to see the gun. 1.00

00:50:51.000 I can just start shooting you. 1.00

00:50:53.000 Or maybe you're just so PTSD'd out that you just think it's a gun. 1.00

00:50:58.000 You see a gun and there's no gun there. 1.00

00:50:59.000 You're just losing your fucking mind because you've seen too many people die over the last couple of months. 1.00

00:51:02.000 That's possible too, man. 1.00

00:51:04.000 Cops are in a constant state of alert.

00:51:06.000 They're pulling people over.

00:51:07.000 They never know if they're ever going to see their kids again.

00:51:09.000 They don't know.

00:51:10.000 They don't know. 1.00

00:51:11.000 Your fucking window's tinted. 1.00

00:51:12.000 The rap music. 1.00

00:51:13.000 Now I smell the weed. 1.00

00:51:14.000 Fuck! 1.00

00:51:15.000 They don't know. 1.00

00:51:16.000 They don't know.

00:51:16.000 You could be a bunch of cool guys out going to get something to eat, like, hello sir, sorry sir, here's my license, everything's fine.

00:51:24.000 Or you could be a cartel member.

00:51:27.000 Like, they don't know.

00:51:28.000 They have no idea.

00:51:29.000 You're always interviewing people that are lying.

00:51:32.000 You're always talking to people that are trying to get away with something.

00:51:35.000 And then you see violence every day. 1.00

00:51:37.000 You see gunshot wounds and knife wounds and fuck! 1.00

00:51:40.000 You're on the edge, man. 1.00

00:51:41.000 Cops commit suicide at a staggering rate.

00:51:44.000 It's really kind of crazy.

00:51:45.000 I don't know if it mimics soldiers, but soldiers commit suicide at a very high rate too.

00:51:51.000 And I think for a lot of them it's just regular life in comparison to the chaos of war and the chaos of Of the violence that they'll run into on the streets if you're a cop.

00:52:03.000 Sometimes it's just incompatible. 0.99

00:52:04.000 Like regular life, it's just like you're too fucked up from it. 0.99

00:52:08.000 And I don't know how many of those guys get treatment, how many of those guys get therapy, or how many of those guys go into that job for the wrong reasons. 0.94

00:52:15.000 They go into that job because they like having power over people.

00:52:18.000 There's those kind of cops too.

00:52:19.000 But then there's great cops.

00:52:21.000 This idea that we should hate cops.

00:52:23.000 It's nuts.

00:52:24.000 We should hate a human being's actions.

00:52:26.000 We should hate that a human being could do that to another human being.

00:52:29.000 I don't know why he was so mad at that guy.

00:52:31.000 I don't know if it was pure racism, if there was some sort of interaction that didn't go well.

00:52:36.000 I don't know what it was.

00:52:37.000 But him holding that guy down with his shin on his knee, especially when you watch it because you know how it goes. 1.00

00:52:43.000 You're like, fuck, man. 1.00

00:52:46.000 It's gut-wrenching. 1.00

00:52:47.000 It's heartbreaking.

00:52:47.000 It's so unfortunate.

00:52:49.000 That man shouldn't have died.

00:52:51.000 And it just...

00:52:53.000 It's awful what that officer did to not have the empathy or sympathy to see what was before him.

00:53:01.000 It's like, hey, you're hurting this man.

00:53:02.000 He's already handcuffed.

00:53:03.000 It's heartbreaking, bro. 0.95

00:53:06.000 It would be shocking if he beat him to death while he was handcuffed. 0.84

00:53:10.000 It would be shocking. 1.00

00:53:11.000 If we watched him just kick that guy to death, it would be insane. 0.97

00:53:17.000 But somehow or another he thought it was okay if he just put all of his weight on his shin and put it on that man's neck.

00:53:25.000 Dude, I don't know if anybody's ever done that to you, but people have done that to me.

00:53:29.000 In Jiu Jitsu, I've had guys like when they're passing, maybe they go for a mounted triangle or something like that and they put their shin across my neck and not even for long periods of time, but it's hard to handle.

00:53:40.000 It's hard to handle for someone who does jujitsu.

00:53:42.000 It's one of the reasons why triangle chokes are so effective, right? 1.00

00:53:45.000 It's because it's your leg bone and your other leg bone and all that leg muscle and all that pressure. 0.98

00:53:51.000 Triangle ain't shit compared to putting all your weight on a guy's neck. 0.96

00:53:55.000 You know why? 0.99

00:53:55.000 Because you don't get tired of doing it. 0.99

00:53:57.000 If I have someone in a triangle, if I'm on my back...

00:53:59.000 It's a resting dead weight on a person's throat.

00:54:02.000 Exactly.

00:54:03.000 So if I have someone in a triangle, I have to squeeze.

00:54:05.000 I have to use my legs and I use my arms.

00:54:08.000 But if I'm on top of someone with my shin on his neck, I don't have to do anything.

00:54:13.000 I just balance and put all my weight on it and he'll die. 0.99

00:54:16.000 You can kill someone that way. 0.99

00:54:18.000 And the fact that that guy just thought he could do that in front of everybody, that's crazy. 0.98

00:54:23.000 All you have to do is put him...

00:54:24.000 If you thought the guy was trying to get away, it's a jujitsu move.

00:54:28.000 It's called knee on belly. 0.68

00:54:29.000 And you've got him flattened out so you put knee on back.

00:54:31.000 And you just put your knee on his back.

00:54:33.000 And you could hold him there.

00:54:35.000 And he'd be okay.

00:54:36.000 Right.

00:54:37.000 You can do the same thing.

00:54:39.000 You hold the body.

00:54:40.000 You just put your shin, you put your instep right up to his body, you put all your weight on your shin, and you just hold him there.

00:54:47.000 You're a cop.

00:54:48.000 You've got a handcuff guy. 1.00

00:54:50.000 You don't have to put your fucking shin on his neck. 1.00

00:54:54.000 But where is it coming from, right? 1.00

00:54:56.000 That's what we have to figure out.

00:54:57.000 Like, is it just, do some people just need to be stopped before they ever become cops?

00:55:05.000 Maybe it's that.

00:55:06.000 Maybe it's the...

00:55:07.000 The fact that somebody like that can become a cop, it's like...

00:55:11.000 But that's the question.

00:55:13.000 Was he always like that or did he become like that?

00:55:16.000 Did he become like that because of the stress of the job?

00:55:18.000 Did he become like that because of who knows whatever reason?

00:55:25.000 Is it racist?

00:55:26.000 Could he do that to a white guy too? 0.65

00:55:29.000 Could he only do that to a black guy who's resisting? 0.65

00:55:32.000 But when you start seeing a pattern, you know, it's like it's a lot of lives being lost in the same way, in the same manner.

00:55:39.000 It's like you start to raise questions.

00:55:40.000 How can you make an argument against for what it is?

00:55:43.000 It's in plain sight.

00:55:44.000 You know, it's a pattern now.

00:55:45.000 Yeah, it's a pattern, but it's also it's just a pattern with cops.

00:55:51.000 It's not just a pattern in that, you know, cops are killing young black men, but it's also a pattern that cops really, there's certain cops who really can't handle that kind of power.

00:56:04.000 They can't handle that position. 0.75

00:56:05.000 They turn bad.

00:56:07.000 Just like there's corrupt politicians, there's corrupt cops.

00:56:11.000 And they might not be corrupt in terms of being on the take, but they're corrupt in terms of what they'll do to get a case closed.

00:56:18.000 They plant guns. 1.00

00:56:19.000 We've all seen that shit. 1.00

00:56:20.000 We've all seen videos. 1.00

00:56:21.000 There's a video of a guy shooting a guy in the back and then he throws a gun on the ground at the guy's feet.

00:56:26.000 Yeah, dude, this is...

00:56:27.000 They've been doing that since the beginning of time.

00:56:29.000 They plant drugs on people.

00:56:30.000 Cops have been busted planting drugs on people numerous times.

00:56:33.000 There was a cop that was...

00:56:34.000 He was busted planting drugs on someone with his own body cam.

00:56:39.000 The footage from his own camera showed him planting drugs on a guy.

00:56:42.000 Like, they're cops, but they're people.

00:56:44.000 That's the problem with what a cop is.

00:56:47.000 It's like you're giving extraordinary powers to an ordinary person.

00:56:51.000 That's what being a cop is.

00:56:53.000 You have to be an exceptional person to be able to handle that.

00:56:55.000 And the truth is, most of them are.

00:56:58.000 That's why you're not hearing this every day all over the world.

00:57:02.000 Cops are having interactions with people that are positive all the time.

00:57:06.000 And it's hard to do for them.

00:57:08.000 And you don't hear about it.

00:57:09.000 It's just the ones that stand out are the ones where it goes horribly wrong like that.

00:57:14.000 But it's not indicative of all cops.

00:57:16.000 That's why it's so crazy.

00:57:18.000 And I don't know what they can do about that other than have stricter standards to keep people like that from becoming cops.

00:57:24.000 Or is it just that the job makes them that way?

00:57:28.000 Is it just that the stress makes them that way? 0.62

00:57:31.000 And seeing all the criminals, dealing with all the crimes, seeing all the violence just fucks them up so bad.

00:57:37.000 Yeah, even there was a case here in LA in Boyle Heights where there was a man who was Not fighting back, and the officer's going in and just fighting him to the point where the officer rips his glasses off and starts railing on a guy that is completely not fighting back.

00:57:55.000 And there was a home there, and the people from the home come out, and they're like, hey, he's not fighting back.

00:58:00.000 What are you doing?

00:58:01.000 And he's telling people to stay back.

00:58:03.000 And there was another officer trying to kind of calm the thing, but man, that officer was teeing off on this guy who was just holding on to the fence.

00:58:14.000 It was right there in Boyle Heights.

00:58:17.000 Unbelievable to see that.

00:58:20.000 So there's something definitely broken and wrong.

00:58:22.000 I mean, I don't know what it is.

00:58:25.000 Well, I think it's a lot of things.

00:58:27.000 It's a lot of people that are on edge no matter what.

00:58:31.000 People are angry.

00:58:32.000 Now you give that person the position of power like a police officer.

00:58:36.000 Then you put them around crime for years and years and years.

00:58:39.000 They feel underappreciated.

00:58:40.000 Their life's in danger every day. 1.00

00:58:42.000 They see their fucking cousin who manages a restaurant. 1.00

00:58:45.000 His life's not in danger. 1.00

00:58:46.000 Like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:58:47.000 This is the guy? 1.00

00:58:47.000 Yeah, that's the guy. 1.00

00:58:48.000 Look.

00:58:49.000 Oh, man.

00:58:50.000 He's not fighting back at all.

00:58:54.000 Oh man. 0.75

00:58:56.000 He's just punching him in the back of the head.

00:58:58.000 These are terrible sloppy punches.

00:59:00.000 He takes his glasses off.

00:59:01.000 Bro, first of all, I would make that guy stay after class. 0.99

00:59:05.000 I'd be like, bro, everything you did sucks. 0.99

00:59:07.000 You have zero leverage in your punches. 1.00

00:59:09.000 You're so fat. 0.95

00:59:11.000 You can't even manhandle this big gentleman. 0.99

00:59:13.000 First of all, this big gentleman barely even noticed that you did all that.

00:59:17.000 Look at this.

00:59:17.000 He's just hanging out like, bro, you just punched me a bunch of times.

00:59:20.000 You shouldn't do that.

00:59:21.000 But at least this big guy is smart enough to not punch him back.

00:59:25.000 Because there's a real good argument that he should flatline that cop.

00:59:28.000 But, yeah, no.

00:59:30.000 It's just a guy with a gun who's got a badge and a job, and he just wails on you and you can't do that back?

00:59:35.000 That's not how you're supposed to act when you're a cop.

00:59:37.000 The guy's not even moving.

00:59:38.000 It's not like he's running away or fighting him and trying to get away.

00:59:42.000 It's heartbreaking when you see stuff like that.

00:59:44.000 It's like...

00:59:45.000 Bro, you should just let that guy keep punching.

00:59:48.000 Just go like, hold on.

00:59:49.000 Keep punching.

00:59:49.000 Go ahead.

00:59:50.000 Keep punching. 0.93

00:59:51.000 That guy was about to have a heart attack.

00:59:52.000 He had like three or four more punches left in him.

00:59:54.000 They would have fallen to the ground. 0.84

00:59:56.000 It's his big old barrel chest and skinny arms. 0.92

00:59:59.000 Terrible punches. 0.95

01:00:00.000 That's an embarrassment to the martial arts, sir.

01:00:03.000 And to the police department.

01:00:05.000 As YouTube goes, the YouTube comments are just roasting the cop for not being able to do what you're saying.

01:00:10.000 Oh, it's a terrible technique.

01:00:11.000 But first of all, here's the reality.

01:00:12.000 That guy that he was trying to hit and take down was enormous. 1.00

01:00:16.000 He could have hit that guy all day long with his bitch ass punches. 1.00

01:00:19.000 It's not gonna work. 1.00

01:00:20.000 That guy was big.

01:00:21.000 See the size of that guy's neck? 1.00

01:00:22.000 He looked like a fucking football player. 1.00

01:00:24.000 He looked like a pro wrestler or something. 1.00

01:00:25.000 That guy was enormous.

01:00:26.000 He wasn't taking that guy down. 0.99

01:00:28.000 And if that guy decided to just pick him up by the neck and fucking pile drive him into the concrete, he couldn't have said shit about it. 0.99

01:00:34.000 Right. 0.99

01:00:34.000 The only thing that saved him is that he was a cop, but that's probably why he did it in the first place. 0.99

01:00:38.000 It's probably why he became a cop, you know?

01:00:40.000 Those psychological flaws.

01:00:42.000 I feel the same way, you know, I feel like cops are, in a sense, they're so necessary and yet so disrespected and underappreciated, and then they're also forced into doing things that are not what they signed up for,

01:01:01.000 like giving people tickets.

01:01:03.000 Like, cops become glorified revenue collectors if you just make them sit hiding behind a bush waiting for someone to go 49 on a 45. Like, I got them!

01:01:12.000 Pull over! 0.96

01:01:14.000 Yeah.

01:01:14.000 Yeah, well that's not what a cop signed up for.

01:01:16.000 They've signed up to stop bad guys and make the community safer.

01:01:19.000 And then it opens up a whole thing with, you know, you know, Fourth Amendment probable cause, you know, you get stopped for one thing and it opens the door for other things.

01:01:27.000 On Snoop Dogg's page, he's got a really good video of a good cop talking about what these cops did wrong.

01:01:33.000 And I love that Snoop put that up there.

01:01:36.000 On his Instagram?

01:01:36.000 Yeah, on Snoop's Instagram.

01:01:37.000 I love that Snoop put it up there, too, because he said, here's a good cop and a good cop's take.

01:01:42.000 And I agree with everything the cop said.

01:01:43.000 He was dead on about everything, about all of it.

01:01:46.000 And he's an actual police officer.

01:01:50.000 But I like the fact that Snoop put that up there.

01:01:52.000 I gotta check that out.

01:01:53.000 Attacking people in downtown LA. Do you see those cops that were trying to drive through downtown LA? They have a march.

01:01:58.000 They're smashing their windows.

01:02:00.000 Those are not the same people.

01:02:02.000 Those are not the people that did that.

01:02:03.000 That one guy who had his shin on that guy's neck.

01:02:07.000 Yeah, you're right about him.

01:02:08.000 But these are not those people.

01:02:10.000 These are just other cops.

01:02:11.000 Yeah, this is the guy.

01:02:13.000 This is a good video.

01:02:14.000 Can I play it?

01:02:14.000 Yeah, play it a little bit.

01:02:15.000 Let's talk things that happened in Minneapolis, cop standpoint, right?

01:02:19.000 I'm disgusted with the things that happened in Minneapolis.

01:02:21.000 Pure point blank.

01:02:22.000 Things could have went way different.

01:02:23.000 At the end of the day, let's talk facts.

01:02:25.000 Guy is on the ground.

01:02:26.000 He's laying on his stomach.

01:02:27.000 He have handcuffs on.

01:02:28.000 It's four of y'all, one of him.

01:02:30.000 Four of y'all, one of him.

01:02:31.000 Who has control of this situation?

01:02:33.000 It's not much one person could do against four people.

01:02:35.000 Now let's get deeper, right?

01:02:37.000 As an officer, you are a first responder, right?

01:02:39.000 So if in the midst of you trying to gain compliance, someone is hurt, you have to render aid.

01:02:44.000 So somebody's saying, I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe.

01:02:47.000 You don't think to yourself and say, oh my gosh, this guy can't breathe.

01:02:50.000 He might die.

01:02:51.000 Let me render aid, right?

01:02:54.000 Another point.

01:02:55.000 Officers, other officers, if you're going to be an officer that's going to stand there and not help when things go wrong, come on.

01:03:02.000 Like, you don't see that?

01:03:03.000 That's the reason I got behind this badge, right?

01:03:05.000 Because I want them officers that's afraid to step up, I want to be the one to step up.

01:03:09.000 If I see wrong happening, wrong is not happening in my presence, right?

01:03:12.000 I'm going to check it.

01:03:13.000 And that's period.

01:03:14.000 Jamie, pull the top down so I can find out what that dude's name is.

01:03:18.000 It just said from a good cop?

01:03:20.000 Yeah.

01:03:21.000 That guy.

01:03:22.000 His account's right there, I think.

01:03:23.000 Is that his TikTok account?

01:03:26.000 I think so.

01:03:26.000 JD underscore W-I-L-L, JD underscore Will.

01:03:30.000 Well, shout out to him because he just said it perfectly and that's who you want to hear it from.

01:03:34.000 You want to hear it from another cop.

01:03:36.000 Everything he says is 100% correct.

01:03:38.000 You've got four guys standing around.

01:03:40.000 There's one guy down.

01:03:41.000 You're in control of it.

01:03:43.000 And not to provide aid when somebody's clearly telling you, officer, I cannot breathe. 1.00

01:03:47.000 And not another cop steps in and say, hey man, get your fucking chin off his neck. 1.00

01:03:50.000 You're gonna kill him. 1.00

01:03:52.000 Oof. 1.00

01:03:54.000 Yeah.

01:03:55.000 So sad, man. 0.99

01:03:56.000 Here's the fucked up thing. 0.98

01:03:58.000 If you said, do I ever think there's gonna come a day where there'll be no crime? 0.98

01:04:02.000 I'm like, no.

01:04:04.000 No.

01:04:04.000 Right.

01:04:05.000 Why?

01:04:07.000 Why is that?

01:04:08.000 Why is that an insurmountable thing that will never come to a day when we don't need the police?

01:04:14.000 This is where anarchists lie.

01:04:17.000 Anarchists feel like, you should have no police, man.

01:04:20.000 I don't want the police.

01:04:21.000 We'll work it out together as a community.

01:04:23.000 Eh.

01:04:24.000 Bro, that's how you get kings. 0.99

01:04:26.000 That's how dudes take over and form an army of other murderers and they fucking start slaughtering people and take over the city and you don't do shit about it. 0.99

01:04:33.000 That's where kings come from. 1.00

01:04:34.000 Now, you need cops, stupid. 1.00

01:04:36.000 You need good cops. 1.00

01:04:37.000 You need cops that understand what the job is, like that guy.

01:04:42.000 A guy who's a big, strong guy, could handle that situation, wouldn't feel compelled to put his knee or his shin on that guy's neck.

01:04:49.000 Right.

01:04:49.000 And can think critically.

01:04:51.000 I mean, he went through all the points of what could have gone different to change the outcome. 1.00

01:04:57.000 Fuck, man. 0.99

01:04:58.000 It's just in the middle of all this crazy crisis, everything has been such a rollercoaster ride because in the beginning everything was really scary in terms of worrying about the pandemic, but it seemed like people were being a little more chill. 1.00

01:05:10.000 It seems like people were confronted by real danger and were like a little nicer to each other.

01:05:16.000 I had a lot of hope in the beginning of the pandemic, and then somewhere later on, it seemed like businesses started failing, people started going bankrupt, a lot of suicides, a lot of craziness, a lot of drinking, and then things just got way worse.

01:05:32.000 It seems like the online discourse now, if you go to Twitter or shit like that, seems way more aggressive and angry.

01:05:38.000 The tone has changed, of course. 0.96

01:05:39.000 The tone, yeah.

01:05:41.000 And now this, right?

01:05:43.000 I mean, this is a...

01:05:45.000 This is a terrible, terrible situation.

01:05:47.000 So this happens.

01:05:48.000 We all get to experience it in video.

01:05:52.000 And then in the middle of this horrible financial pandemic now, there's riots and burnings.

01:05:58.000 Like, what are they doing in Minneapolis? 0.99

01:06:00.000 Burn buildings and shit? 0.99

01:06:02.000 Yeah, the buildings and the targets and stuff. 0.99

01:06:05.000 But it's, yeah.

01:06:07.000 Look at this.

01:06:11.000 Yeah.

01:06:13.000 Already the conspiracy theorists are out. 0.97

01:06:17.000 I saw some shit on the Instagram where people were saying that federal agents were starting the fires and they're doing that to control Minneapolis. 0.96

01:06:28.000 They're gonna lock everything down. 0.99

01:06:30.000 I always wonder who's they?

01:06:31.000 Who's they that's doing all that?

01:06:33.000 They?

01:06:33.000 Look at all these fires, man.

01:06:34.000 There's a lot of fucking fires. 0.99

01:06:36.000 And these are just like, what? 0.99

01:06:37.000 Just people's buildings?

01:06:38.000 So someone's private property got burnt down. 1.00

01:06:42.000 Because a cop's a fucking asshole. 1.00

01:06:46.000 I know people are angry, but just running around burning people's houses, burning people's buildings, that's not fixing anything. 1.00

01:06:55.000 Goddamn, there's a lot of fires. 0.95

01:06:57.000 To be from there and look at your city and be like, this is what my city looks like right now. 0.98

01:07:00.000 Right.

01:07:01.000 Now you're going to walk around this area that you and your friends burnt to the ground.

01:07:06.000 And how you're so connected to that act now.

01:07:09.000 If you're one of those guys that threw a Molotov cocktail or did whatever you did to light those buildings on fire, when you walk by those things every day, when all this is settled, all the dust is settled, you're going to realize what you did.

01:07:23.000 You just burnt someone's building down.

01:07:25.000 It didn't have anything to do with it.

01:07:26.000 Somebody probably had a job in there.

01:07:28.000 Somebody probably had life's work in that building.

01:07:32.000 Right.

01:07:33.000 Their life savings to buy the place.

01:07:35.000 Their business.

01:07:35.000 Whatever it is.

01:07:36.000 He's burnt that fucking thing to the ground. 1.00

01:07:38.000 But the whole situation, it's... 1.00

01:07:40.000 Horrible.

01:07:41.000 Horrible.

01:07:41.000 Yeah.

01:07:42.000 It's horrible that it's going to keep happening.

01:07:45.000 Right? 0.71

01:07:45.000 The cops are going to keep killing people because they're going to make mistakes. 0.71

01:07:48.000 It's just how it is.

01:07:50.000 And what would the solution be?

01:07:51.000 Is there any clear-cut solution or steps to find one or to arrive at one?

01:07:58.000 Well, you know who had a great point?

01:08:00.000 Andrew Yang.

01:08:01.000 Andrew Yang, when he was running for president, one of the platforms that I really liked, he said he wants every police officer to at least be a purple belt in jujitsu.

01:08:10.000 That's a great piece of advice.

01:08:12.000 And I don't even think Andrew really practices jujitsu.

01:08:15.000 If he does, I apologize.

01:08:16.000 But I think his thought is that you should be able to control someone's body.

01:08:20.000 You should have the ability and the understanding how to control someone's body.

01:08:24.000 Because we've seen these scrambles with police officers where they don't have control. 0.97

01:08:28.000 And they get fucked up and the guy gets on top of him and beats the cop half to death, takes his gun, drives his car away. 0.99

01:08:35.000 That shit happens all the time. 1.00

01:08:36.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:08:37.000 Like, if you don't know how to fight and you're also the person that gets to enforce judgment, like, that's a crazy, that's like not knowing how to drive but being in a race car on a track, like, you don't know how to drive?

01:08:49.000 Right.

01:08:49.000 Like, so you're in violent altercations but you don't know how to do violence right?

01:08:52.000 Like, You don't know how to fight and you're a cop?

01:08:55.000 That's crazy. 0.99

01:08:57.000 Crazy.

01:08:57.000 I can't imagine.

01:08:59.000 That's like, I mean, that would be like working at the border and not learning Spanish.

01:09:03.000 Like, what are you doing?

01:09:04.000 It's essential to the business you're about to take on.

01:09:07.000 Yes.

01:09:07.000 You're going to do a lot of talking Spanish, man.

01:09:09.000 You better learn it.

01:09:10.000 Learn Spanish, man.

01:09:11.000 You're going to be around a lot of violence.

01:09:13.000 You better understand violence. 1.00

01:09:14.000 You better not just be some fucking barrel-chested fatso cop with spaghetti arms wailing away at some guy that barely notices it. 1.00

01:09:24.000 God damn it, Jesus! 1.00

01:09:26.000 You know, another thing is it just makes me feel sad. 0.99

01:09:29.000 Like when a story like that is on the news, I just feel sad.

01:09:32.000 I just feel just bad.

01:09:34.000 I just feel like...

01:09:35.000 You feel like there's like a psychic funk that travels over the land, you know?

01:09:41.000 It's the energy we were talking about, you know?

01:09:43.000 It's like those things do affect, you know, how someone feels and, you know, it's...

01:09:50.000 I keep saying it over and over again.

01:09:52.000 I sound like a broken record, but it's heartbreaking.

01:09:54.000 You feel that pain in this area.

01:09:57.000 And I always feel like the only way I could ever address those things now is to talk about them.

01:10:03.000 People say, why don't you post about that on social media when something happens?

01:10:08.000 I mean, I could, and I certainly do with some things, but some things like this is like, that's something I want to talk about.

01:10:17.000 I want to talk through, because it's so horrible.

01:10:20.000 Dialogues need to be had, and, you know, you've got to talk it through.

01:10:23.000 But also, like, if you're going to give your take on it, the best way, I think, is talking.

01:10:28.000 Because I feel like you're going to write some caption on an Instagram photo.

01:10:32.000 It's not, for me at least, it's not the best way for me to express myself.

01:10:38.000 Yeah, you want to talk it out, think it through, and...

01:10:42.000 There's also, like, a lot of celebrities doing hot takes on things.

01:10:46.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:10:46.000 Like, every time something goes down, they go to this guy.

01:10:48.000 Like, what is he going to say?

01:10:49.000 You go to her.

01:10:50.000 What is her feelings?

01:10:51.000 Right.

01:10:52.000 You know?

01:10:54.000 And then the celebrities hit there.

01:10:56.000 Like, I'm trying to get a lot of likes with this one.

01:10:58.000 I want to really spice it up nice.

01:11:00.000 You think that's what it is?

01:11:01.000 100%.

01:11:01.000 Yeah?

01:11:02.000 100%.

01:11:03.000 And it's unfortunate that that's the side that people look to capitalize for some kind of clout.

01:11:10.000 I think it happens a lot with actors.

01:11:13.000 You see it a lot because there's a lot of cool actors out there.

01:11:16.000 A lot more than I ever thought there were. 1.00

01:11:18.000 But, there's a lot of them out of their fucking minds. 1.00

01:11:21.000 Out of their fucking minds. 1.00

01:11:24.000 Crazy. 1.00

01:11:25.000 Crazy, crazy. 1.00

01:11:26.000 Cat shit crazy. 1.00

01:11:28.000 Out of their fucking mind. 1.00

01:11:31.000 And they, anytime there's an opportunity to say something or do something, to get some clout. 1.00

01:11:38.000 They'll just use the right language, use the right hashtags, and put it out there like a little love bomb.

01:11:43.000 Just let it float out into the middle of the water and boom!

01:11:48.000 Everybody's really excited that I made that post decrying racism and letting everybody know that women are going to run the world.

01:11:55.000 I saw a photo.

01:11:56.000 It was one of the saddest photos I ever saw.

01:11:57.000 Sam Tripoli put it up on his page.

01:11:59.000 It's a bunch of dudes standing around with the future is female t-shirts. 0.64

01:12:07.000 I want to hope that someone photoshopped that.

01:12:10.000 I really do.

01:12:11.000 I really hope someone photoshopped it.

01:12:13.000 Oh, that it's a fake one?

01:12:14.000 Yeah, I hope it's fake.

01:12:15.000 I hope they had like IBM t-shirts or something like they were on some retreat.

01:12:20.000 Look at this.

01:12:20.000 The future is female.

01:12:22.000 There's all these guys with a shirt on.

01:12:24.000 And Sam Tripoli said, what does it say?

01:12:26.000 Make it smaller so we can all read it.

01:12:28.000 The annual meeting of dudes that report my posts.

01:12:36.000 I don't know if Tripoli wrote that.

01:12:39.000 That must be his.

01:12:40.000 It has to be.

01:12:40.000 He's so funny, man.

01:12:41.000 He's hilarious.

01:12:43.000 So there's all these fellas that look like they could use a good CrossFit class. 0.98

01:12:47.000 A repost.

01:12:48.000 A repost.

01:12:58.000 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I mean,

01:13:14.000 what do you do?

01:13:15.000 The future's female? 1.00

01:13:15.000 How about the future's humans? 1.00

01:13:17.000 And, you know, you have to have male and female, you fuck. 1.00

01:13:20.000 That's how you make babies. 1.00

01:13:22.000 Jesus Christ.

01:13:23.000 I'm not trying to shame people to make their baby in a test tube.

01:13:26.000 I'm just saying.

01:13:27.000 The vast majority, we need male and female. 1.00

01:13:30.000 We can all be nice.

01:13:31.000 I have a lot of male friends that I love very much.

01:13:34.000 I have a lot of female friends that I love very much.

01:13:36.000 We're all close.

01:13:38.000 Male and female.

01:13:39.000 We can all be cool.

01:13:40.000 We can all coexist.

01:13:41.000 The future doesn't have to be female. 1.00

01:13:43.000 Jesus Christ!

01:13:44.000 The future hopefully is a positive one and an uplifting one.

01:13:48.000 But when someone has a futures female shirt on, they want it to be female. 1.00

01:13:51.000 That means they're going to lean more female than male. 0.72

01:13:53.000 It's like if you want real equality, you should hire the best person for the job always.

01:13:59.000 So if you've got this job and you're leaning toward this guy, he seems like he's better, but he's not a woman and there's a mandate to have a woman, you're going to go with someone who's just a woman. 1.00

01:14:07.000 You're going to give them a little break because it's a woman. 1.00

01:14:09.000 That's not equality.

01:14:10.000 That's not good for anybody.

01:14:11.000 The future is a well-qualified person.

01:14:13.000 The future is a well-qualified person.

01:14:14.000 Qualified person.

01:14:15.000 You should have that shirt.

01:14:17.000 Sell it outside of my shows.

01:14:20.000 That'd be a great shirt for you.

01:14:21.000 Qualified shirt, huh?

01:14:22.000 The future's a well-qualified person.

01:14:24.000 That would be, right?

01:14:26.000 That'd be an interesting shirt.

01:14:27.000 Yeah.

01:14:28.000 Interesting shirt to sell.

01:14:29.000 The future is all people.

01:14:31.000 So shirts after a show?

01:14:32.000 I don't know that that's going to be a thing anymore, but...

01:14:36.000 They'll probably go back to that.

01:14:38.000 I mean, you gotta think people went back from the Spanish flu to where we are before the pandemic.

01:14:43.000 But restrictions, I mean, restrictions won't allow for it.

01:14:47.000 That's the kicker.

01:14:49.000 I hope they lift these restrictions fully.

01:14:53.000 Do you miss stand-up?

01:14:54.000 Yes!

01:14:55.000 How can I not miss stand-up?

01:14:56.000 I know, man.

01:14:57.000 I know.

01:14:59.000 What is this?

01:15:00.000 1918 pandemic photo watching a football game in Georgia Tech, I think.

01:15:04.000 Wow.

01:15:05.000 They're all watching a football game with masks on.

01:15:08.000 That's not a N95, though.

01:15:09.000 Isn't that crazy, though?

01:15:11.000 It's crazy, like, we didn't know about this.

01:15:13.000 Right.

01:15:14.000 I never thought that, you know, if you asked me about the pandemic, I said, yeah, a bunch of people died from the flu, but I didn't think people were walking around with masks on.

01:15:21.000 Did you?

01:15:22.000 I mean, we had those, like, maybe that full, you know, that full pointy nose mask that, uh, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:15:30.000 Lindsey...

01:15:30.000 Shepard?

01:15:31.000 I can't remember.

01:15:32.000 I'm misinterpreting the name in my head.

01:15:34.000 It's all mixed up right now.

01:15:35.000 I don't want to say the wrong one.

01:15:36.000 Lindsey Fitzharris.

01:15:38.000 I thought that's what I was going to say.

01:15:38.000 Yeah, it was her, right?

01:15:39.000 I think so.

01:15:41.000 But yeah, that was during that time period, I believe.

01:15:42.000 Because there was a couple different...

01:15:45.000 Yeah.

01:15:45.000 It was her.

01:15:46.000 It was about the plague masks.

01:15:47.000 Right.

01:15:47.000 That's what I'm thinking, yeah.

01:15:48.000 Yeah, wasn't that like they had herbs and shit down there? 0.99

01:15:50.000 They thought it was going to kill the smell of the plague as you breathe it in? 0.98

01:15:53.000 That was the idea?

01:15:54.000 You ever seen one of them things?

01:15:55.000 No.

01:15:56.000 Oh, dude.

01:15:57.000 They're freaky looking.

01:15:58.000 It's like an Eyes Wide Shut mask.

01:16:00.000 Did they wear those in Eyes Wide Shut?

01:16:02.000 Oh, that?

01:16:03.000 It's been in a few things.

01:16:04.000 It's like a villain or whatever.

01:16:06.000 Like a bird?

01:16:06.000 Yeah.

01:16:06.000 You look like a bird.

01:16:07.000 So what's going on is that beak is filled with like...

01:16:12.000 Stuff.

01:16:12.000 Oh, herbs, okay.

01:16:14.000 Yeah, and you smell that.

01:16:16.000 Walking around with a face mask full of potpourri.

01:16:18.000 Look at the goggle. 1.00

01:16:20.000 Imagine if you're a girl, and you're dating a guy, and he seems so cool in every way, but he wants to fuck you with a plague mask on. 1.00

01:16:33.000 You're thinking, maybe he's the one. 1.00

01:16:35.000 Maybe we're going to grow together and have babies together.

01:16:38.000 Now you're dating Toucan Sam? 0.99

01:16:40.000 16th century plague.

01:16:41.000 So maybe it's just like, that was their idea they had back then, and it didn't evolve until...

01:16:45.000 Look at this, what it says.

01:16:47.000 16th century plague doctor mask...

01:16:50.000 On display at the...

01:16:52.000 Say that word. 0.63

01:16:53.000 Say that word. 0.63

01:16:54.000 At the...

01:16:56.000 Good luck, man.

01:17:01.000 It's like medicine history.

01:17:03.000 Ah, just German. 0.97

01:17:04.000 Yeah.

01:17:13.000 What a gnarly thing to come up and engineer and be like, no, this helps.

01:17:16.000 Like the way that they sold this to people and people are like, no, yeah, no.

01:17:21.000 People say that this is a thing.

01:17:22.000 We got to put potpourri in these masks and smell it. 1.00

01:17:25.000 I wonder what the actual herbs were, like what kind of shit they put in there. 0.99

01:17:29.000 That's interesting. 0.99

01:17:30.000 I guess like menthol or something.

01:17:33.000 How do you make menthol?

01:17:34.000 Like when you think of like menthol rubs?

01:17:36.000 Mint.

01:17:36.000 What's in there?

01:17:37.000 And it leaves.

01:17:38.000 Is that what it is?

01:17:39.000 Yeah, mint.

01:17:39.000 With some other stuff.

01:17:40.000 Really?

01:17:40.000 It's like a mojito.

01:17:42.000 So does it say what they put in those fucking things? 1.00

01:17:46.000 I remember Lindsay telling us. 1.00

01:17:47.000 Flowers.

01:17:48.000 Mint.

01:17:48.000 It's in there.

01:17:49.000 So it really is potpourri.

01:17:50.000 Vinegar sponged.

01:17:51.000 Vinegar sponge.

01:17:53.000 Wow.

01:17:53.000 The purpose of the mask was to keep away any bad smells, known as miasma, which were thought to be the principal cause of the disease before it was disproven by germ theory.

01:18:04.000 Wow.

01:18:06.000 So they kind of knew it was coming through the nose.

01:18:09.000 They just didn't know what it was. 0.98

01:18:10.000 Imagine if someone had a bad fart, they're like, get the fuck out of here. 0.98

01:18:13.000 Why is everybody wearing masks? 0.98

01:18:15.000 Bob over here, let one go. 0.93

01:18:16.000 But it's hilarious that it says, you know, to keep away bad smells, but they put vinegar inside.

01:18:23.000 Vinegar doesn't smell too nice.

01:18:25.000 It smells terrible.

01:18:26.000 It's no lavender.

01:18:27.000 But imagine how bad people smelled back then.

01:18:30.000 Nobody bathed, no soap, no toothpaste. 1.00

01:18:32.000 Your teeth will rot out of your fucking head. 1.00

01:18:34.000 Like hot tomato, onion soup? 1.00

01:18:36.000 Oof.

01:18:37.000 Yeah, I mean, you would smell terrible.

01:18:40.000 Your feet would stink.

01:18:41.000 Everything would stink.

01:18:42.000 Wow, look at the image of what people look like when they're dying from the plague. 0.99

01:18:46.000 So back then when shit would go down, they didn't even know what it was. 0.99

01:18:49.000 They're just praying to the gods and sacrificing chickens and shit. 1.00

01:18:53.000 They don't know what the fuck is going to happen. 1.00

01:18:55.000 Things they used to do back then is let people bleed out because they believed it had bad blood. 0.99

01:19:00.000 Now this guy's dying because their blood supply is low.

01:19:04.000 They used to use leeches.

01:19:06.000 Wow.

01:19:07.000 Wow.

01:19:36.000 First worn by doctors during the plague of 1656, which killed 145,000 people in Rome and 300,000 in Naples. 0.99

01:19:45.000 That's a lot of fucking people, folks. 0.98

01:19:48.000 Like, to put it in perspective, I think Italy lost... 1.00

01:19:51.000 How many died in Italy overall?

01:19:54.000 I feel like it was less than 50. I think it was...

01:20:00.000 Less than 50?

01:20:00.000 Yeah.

01:20:01.000 What's the full total?

01:20:02.000 33,000.

01:20:04.000 Yeah.

01:20:04.000 So think about that, right?

01:20:06.000 We saw those images from Italy.

01:20:08.000 It looked like the end of the world, right?

01:20:09.000 Right.

01:20:09.000 Like the hospitals were overrun.

01:20:12.000 Good point.

01:20:13.000 It's 33,000 deaths.

01:20:14.000 Now think about how many deaths they had in Rome and in Naples.

01:20:18.000 They had 300,000 in one place and 100,000 in another.

01:20:22.000 Like, bro, everybody was dying.

01:20:24.000 It's a different thing. 1.00

01:20:27.000 So even though this pandemic sucks a fat one, we're way better at this shit than we used to be. 0.99

01:20:35.000 Well, good thing they phased out the bird mask. 1.00

01:20:37.000 I mean, imagine if we're still wearing that, using that science.

01:20:40.000 What if it actually worked?

01:20:42.000 That would be even crazier.

01:20:43.000 I mean, if they have these N95 masks, doesn't some stuff kill things? 1.00

01:20:49.000 Doesn't garlic kill a lot of shit? 1.00

01:20:50.000 It killed half the people in these cities. 1.00

01:20:52.000 In 1631?

01:20:54.000 Yeah.

01:20:54.000 Look at that.

01:20:55.000 Wow, the population...

01:20:59.000 One in Verona, they lost 61% of their population.

01:21:03.000 There's 54,000 people in 1630. By 1631, there was 33,000.

01:21:09.000 They lost 61%. 1.00

01:21:10.000 Holy fuck, man. 1.00

01:21:13.000 That's crazy. 1.00

01:21:15.000 But the Italians in Italy, in a lot of ways, have that one thing in common with folks that live in New York City.

01:21:22.000 It's a high density.

01:21:24.000 With them, it's density in families.

01:21:26.000 Their families all live together.

01:21:27.000 It's like mom and grandpa and dad and kids.

01:21:30.000 Everything's built up.

01:21:31.000 Yeah.

01:21:31.000 And they're all around each other.

01:21:33.000 They're very social.

01:21:34.000 They're just giving it to each other. 1.00

01:21:35.000 Plus, they're kissing each other and shit. 1.00

01:21:37.000 They're kissing each other. 1.00

01:21:39.000 They're making out while they're sick, drinking wine, smoking cigarettes.

01:21:42.000 They're all smoking cigarettes.

01:21:43.000 They executed three plague spreaders, which they've been talking about in today's world.

01:21:47.000 People that are spreaders.

01:21:48.000 Have you heard that talked about at all?

01:21:49.000 That someone's a spreader?

01:21:50.000 Yeah, like people that are just out spreading.

01:21:53.000 Bad people?

01:21:53.000 Intentionally?

01:21:54.000 Like they know that they're positive for it?

01:21:55.000 So they executed people who defied the governor's orders.

01:21:59.000 Describing a historical trial and execution of three alleged plague spreaders, it says.

01:22:04.000 Wow.

01:22:04.000 And then they start publishing pamphlets probably to scare people away from doing it.

01:22:07.000 Well, for sure there are people that if they get a disease, they want to give it to you.

01:22:12.000 Yeah, twisted. 0.98

01:22:13.000 Somebody with a twisted mind. 1.00

01:22:14.000 Plus they're angry that they're really sick and you're not. 1.00

01:22:17.000 Why aren't you sick, you fuck? 1.00

01:22:19.000 And they just want to give it to you. 1.00

01:22:20.000 There's some selfish people out there. 0.91

01:22:24.000 Terrible. 1.00

01:22:25.000 Terrible people. 0.88

01:22:27.000 Yeah, man.

01:22:29.000 How long did you work on this set before you put it on your special?

01:22:33.000 When did you know what the set was going to be?

01:22:37.000 I mean, I was tweaking stuff right up to it just because I was getting obsessive, man.

01:22:44.000 I toured with that hour for that year, and the paperwork was done by first quarter 2019. Oh, okay.

01:22:55.000 So you knew?

01:22:56.000 Yeah, so I knew that I was going to film a special, and I thought...

01:23:00.000 I was gonna film it right away, you know, but then I ended up waiting and I filmed it in November.

01:23:05.000 Do you think that's better?

01:23:06.000 Do you like it that way?

01:23:07.000 Like, I always feel like every time I've filmed a special, if I just waited three months later, it would be better.

01:23:13.000 Well, yeah.

01:23:14.000 I wish I would have waited in a certain sense because once I taped it, I had some weekends lined up still that I had on the books.

01:23:22.000 And I went out there and I found new tags and new stuff.

01:23:24.000 And I'm like, man.

01:23:26.000 Always!

01:23:27.000 Man, it didn't sit well.

01:23:30.000 It was like a lot of dissonance.

01:23:31.000 And even as I'm editing the thing, I'm like, I could have put the tag right there.

01:23:35.000 I could have said it this way.

01:23:36.000 But it's like, it's ever-changing.

01:23:37.000 So it's like, when does it stop?

01:23:39.000 You know, it's like...

01:23:40.000 It's like, you know, I hear it about documentaries.

01:23:42.000 It's like, when do you stop a documentary?

01:23:45.000 Because, you know, it could continue, you know, documenting an event forever.

01:23:49.000 So it's like, at one point, you're just like, hey, it's a snapshot in time.

01:23:52.000 This is the material I was doing from here to here.

01:23:54.000 This is what I got.

01:23:56.000 Yeah, that's a good way of looking at it.

01:23:58.000 Yeah.

01:23:59.000 But you're right about never knowing when they're done.

01:24:03.000 And you're right about documentaries, man.

01:24:05.000 Yeah.

01:24:06.000 Documentaries can go on for...

01:24:07.000 There's some documentaries, like...

01:24:10.000 Like the Wild Wild Country, the one that's on that cult in Oregon?

01:24:13.000 I felt like they could have done that for a year.

01:24:16.000 I mean, they had so much footage.

01:24:18.000 And then tangents, you know, the tangents they could have taken.

01:24:20.000 It's like, what about that person?

01:24:21.000 Let's follow this person.

01:24:22.000 You know, it's never-ending, so you almost just have to...

01:24:27.000 Just like, alright, here's the deadline.

01:24:29.000 The checkpoints we were talking about earlier and just going with it.

01:24:32.000 It's my first special.

01:24:33.000 I'm excited for it and I hope it's well received, but I work really hard, man.

01:24:38.000 That's dope. 1.00

01:24:39.000 Look at you, you handsome bastard. 1.00

01:24:41.000 Look at you. 1.00

01:24:42.000 Wearing the same outfit.

01:24:43.000 That's awesome.

01:24:44.000 Now, once it airs, once it's on Showtime, will it be available on an app afterwards or on iTunes, on Apple TV? Yeah, it's going to be a wide release where people can stream it on...

01:24:58.000 Spotify or Pandora.

01:25:00.000 Oh, nice.

01:25:01.000 But the video version of it, is that going to be somewhere for streaming too?

01:25:06.000 Yeah, that's going to be out streaming by release, but we'll find out where it's going to go.

01:25:12.000 Hopefully, I'll find a home where it could be streaming stuff.

01:25:15.000 But it's on Showtime Friday night?

01:25:19.000 Yeah, Friday, 9 p.m.

01:25:20.000 Eastern time.

01:25:21.000 9 p.m.

01:25:21.000 Eastern.

01:25:21.000 6 p.m.

01:25:22.000 Pacific time.

01:25:23.000 I did math for you.

01:25:24.000 You're welcome.

01:25:25.000 Stay at home, son.

01:25:27.000 That's awesome.

01:25:27.000 May 29, Friday.

01:25:28.000 It really is the perfect name for the time.

01:25:30.000 It's almost like you predicted it. 0.92

01:25:32.000 Crazy.

01:25:32.000 Do you think you did?

01:25:33.000 Do you think you willed it into existence?

01:25:34.000 No.

01:25:36.000 It's like something my mom would do.

01:25:37.000 She claims to have a psychic ability.

01:25:40.000 It's so delayed, mom.

01:25:41.000 You know?

01:25:42.000 Maybe you did.

01:25:44.000 Subconsciously? 1.00

01:25:45.000 Somewhere in your head, like, some shit is going down. 1.00

01:25:49.000 Stay at home. 1.00

01:25:50.000 Stay at home.

01:25:50.000 I mean, it's, uh...

01:25:52.000 Yeah, I'm just very excited.

01:25:53.000 Very excited that I got to do this special and put it together.

01:25:56.000 That's awesome.

01:25:56.000 I'm excited for you, man.

01:25:58.000 I know it's gonna be really funny. 0.77

01:25:59.000 Like I said, I saw a bunch of this shit when we worked together at the improv and the store and very funny stuff, man. 0.92

01:26:04.000 Thank you, man. 0.96

01:26:05.000 I'm, you know, I'm appreciative for the opportunity to get to work with you, too, man.

01:26:08.000 It's, uh...

01:26:09.000 You're very kind and seeing you work, too.

01:26:11.000 It's like when I get to host those shows for you at the improv or the comedy store, it's cool to host, but to sit there and see what you're doing, tweaking stuff.

01:26:19.000 I remember you working on the Jenner bit.

01:26:24.000 Yeah.

01:26:25.000 When I saw you do that act out of the stool of getting up there, it's like, holy moly.

01:26:29.000 Like, you're one that constantly changes, and I'm, you know, when you perform, I'm always kind of watching what you're doing, and man, that act out was insane.

01:26:39.000 Well, I had to figure out some way to, like, make someone whispering in his ear while he's sleeping.

01:26:45.000 But I also had to make it, like, it had to be dramatic, like...

01:26:50.000 I'm whispering to a sleeping person.

01:26:52.000 I had to, like, crawl in there.

01:26:54.000 And I wanted to do it in a way like I'm really flexible so I can move in a weird way, you know, so I can move like I think a demon would be.

01:27:02.000 So I had to figure out how to make that funny, man.

01:27:04.000 It took a long-ass time.

01:27:06.000 That act I was exclusive to a Joe Rogan type because I'm...

01:27:09.000 I mean, just the strength that would require to stand the way you were on top of the stool.

01:27:14.000 I love when you did that bit at the store because Danny, the sound guy, would dim the lights.

01:27:19.000 And it would be like a spotlight on you in this room would be completely dark.

01:27:22.000 I'm like, oh, it's an even added effect.

01:27:25.000 But you held it.

01:27:27.000 The level of commitment, I loved seeing that.

01:27:30.000 At first it was a little shorter, but then you would commit.

01:27:34.000 It would be three, four minutes.

01:27:36.000 It's like, oh, he's doing it again.

01:27:39.000 I had to figure out what the tags on that were too.

01:27:42.000 That was weird as well.

01:27:44.000 But it's also like, we're so lucky that we are around other people that are pushing really good material out too.

01:27:53.000 It's like when you're around people that are working on stuff, it's very inspiring, you know?

01:27:57.000 That environment at the store is the main reason I stayed in L.A. for this long.

01:28:02.000 There's something about that environment at the store.

01:28:04.000 It's so electric.

01:28:06.000 Everybody's watching everybody.

01:28:07.000 You're sad.

01:28:08.000 You're watching Bobby Lee.

01:28:10.000 Everybody's watching everybody.

01:28:11.000 In Edwards.

01:28:12.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:28:13.000 Owen Smith.

01:28:14.000 And everybody's getting this sense of the level of comedy now.

01:28:18.000 It's very high.

01:28:19.000 Yeah, but the store is like a Petri dish of...

01:28:23.000 Just, like, success.

01:28:24.000 Like, you see, like, it's so conducive.

01:28:27.000 It's set up in such a way that it makes a comedian work hard and try to figure it out.

01:28:30.000 And even more so now.

01:28:31.000 I mean, all the big guys are, like, killing it.

01:28:34.000 So it's like, if you show up, even if it's a 1 a.m.

01:28:36.000 spot, it's like, you better bring it, man.

01:28:38.000 You better bring it at the store.

01:28:39.000 Yeah, writing and figuring all that out.

01:28:42.000 When do you think we're coming back?

01:28:43.000 If you had to guess, July?

01:28:47.000 Like, full-on backpack?

01:28:48.000 Yeah, full-on.

01:28:51.000 I'd say there'll be a level of coming back in July.

01:28:56.000 I think 4th of July would be a big thing.

01:28:58.000 You think so?

01:28:58.000 Yeah, people want to go out and...

01:29:00.000 Yeah, but I think September.

01:29:02.000 September is my roll of the dice.

01:29:05.000 September.

01:29:06.000 Mid-September is my guess.

01:29:08.000 We'll see.

01:29:09.000 What do you think?

01:29:10.000 Later or sooner?

01:29:11.000 That might be right for full blown out shows with full audiences.

01:29:17.000 That's what I'm hoping.

01:29:18.000 I think it's going to be that, you know, reduced capacity situation.

01:29:22.000 But for how long?

01:29:24.000 People are going to be starving.

01:29:25.000 Like, the clubs are going to be hurting bad.

01:29:28.000 The restaurants are already hurting bad.

01:29:30.000 And you're going to let them open up at 25%.

01:29:32.000 I want to know, like, what kind of science is there in that?

01:29:34.000 There was a picture that I saw.

01:29:36.000 There was a comedian out of Puerto Rico that posted it.

01:29:40.000 His name is Chente.

01:29:41.000 But there was a picture of a theater, right?

01:29:45.000 Right.

01:29:46.000 And the seating was taken out.

01:29:48.000 So there's two seats, six feet, one seat.

01:29:52.000 Six feet, two seats together, six feet apart, one seat.

01:29:56.000 And it looked like they were building it, like they were filling in the seats, but they had taken out the things.

01:30:01.000 And I'm like, that just looks gnarly.

01:30:05.000 So weird.

01:30:06.000 I want to know if there's real science to that.

01:30:09.000 Is that really going to stop people from getting sick?

01:30:12.000 I don't know.

01:30:13.000 I mean, this is our bird mask equivalent. 0.97

01:30:17.000 It is, but there's no fucking talk about nutrition. 0.97

01:30:19.000 No one's telling people to sleep more. 0.98

01:30:21.000 No one's telling people to stop drinking sugar.

01:30:23.000 Right.

01:30:24.000 It's all just be scared.

01:30:27.000 It's all wash your hands.

01:30:28.000 Stay away.

01:30:28.000 Stay away!

01:30:29.000 Cover your face.

01:30:31.000 Yeah, I can't wait.

01:30:32.000 I can't wait to get back on stage.

01:30:33.000 I've been writing and just the routine that we develop of, hey, you write during the day, you get stuff ready, you perform it at night, record the set, wake up in the morning, listen to it.

01:30:43.000 Like, that's been disrupted completely.

01:30:45.000 And it's like, I feel it.

01:30:46.000 I feel the, you know, the energy shift.

01:30:49.000 And I want to get back to that.

01:30:52.000 As soon as possible.

01:30:53.000 There's nothing more exciting than putting together a set.

01:30:56.000 There's nothing more...

01:30:57.000 Well, I shouldn't say that.

01:30:58.000 There's things that are more exciting.

01:31:00.000 But it's a very exciting thing.

01:31:02.000 It's up there.

01:31:03.000 Putting together a set and getting to work it out.

01:31:07.000 And just getting excited about, oh, I got a 10-13.

01:31:10.000 10-13.

01:31:11.000 10-15 spot.

01:31:12.000 I head down.

01:31:14.000 Sit in the back for a little bit.

01:31:15.000 Get my bearings.

01:31:17.000 Loosen up. 0.96

01:31:17.000 Maybe I'll do a shot. 0.96

01:31:18.000 I'm going to do a shot before the show.

01:31:19.000 Get ready.

01:31:20.000 Go over my notes real quick.

01:31:22.000 Yeah, there's something very exciting about it.

01:31:24.000 Especially when you know you're about to do a new bit.

01:31:26.000 Like, here comes, here comes, Jesus!

01:31:29.000 Release the hounds.

01:31:31.000 Yeah, and knowing me, I'd be so excited.

01:31:33.000 I'd go up there and I'd fumble it.

01:31:35.000 I'm like, oh boy.

01:31:37.000 It takes a while before those bits are alive.

01:31:40.000 They walk out there on bambi legs. 1.00

01:31:42.000 Yeah, most of the time I feel like I'll somehow do a better version the first time I say it, and then I'm chasing the dragon for a long time.

01:31:53.000 That's where recordings come in play though, right?

01:31:55.000 Yeah, I'm obsessive.

01:31:57.000 I'm obsessive with the writing.

01:32:00.000 It's like leading up to the special, I even got a WeWork spot just so I could use their whiteboard.

01:32:07.000 Before each weekend, I'd lay out the whole thing.

01:32:10.000 You know, Ian Edwards was kind enough to...

01:32:13.000 I'm like, hey, can I walk you through everything?

01:32:16.000 And I'm doing arrows.

01:32:17.000 And he's like, you should hold that picture.

01:32:19.000 It's like, that picture you should hold.

01:32:21.000 Because I would just lay everything there.

01:32:22.000 Do you have a picture of it?

01:32:23.000 Yeah, I do.

01:32:24.000 Is it on your Instagram or anything?

01:32:26.000 No, I haven't posted it yet.

01:32:27.000 Maybe I'll post it right after the special.

01:32:29.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:32:30.000 Do it.

01:32:31.000 Do it.

01:32:31.000 And it's everything on there.

01:32:32.000 And I broke it up in thirds.

01:32:34.000 I got really obsessive, you know, because I wanted to explain...

01:32:38.000 You know, the first 20 minutes, it's like my upbringing.

01:32:40.000 I define the variables.

01:32:41.000 You have the picture?

01:32:42.000 Why don't you airdrop it to me right now while we're thinking about it, and I'll put it up on Instagram, too, to let everybody know.

01:32:48.000 He sent it to you?

01:32:49.000 If you do, I can put it up right now.

01:32:51.000 Oh, there you go.

01:32:51.000 Yeah, but maybe he doesn't want everybody to see his set.

01:32:54.000 No, no, no.

01:32:55.000 They can see it because not everything got in there, but it doesn't bother me.

01:32:59.000 Okay.

01:32:59.000 You know, it's my process, so...

01:33:01.000 Right, right, right.

01:33:02.000 I'll definitely send it to you by the...

01:33:05.000 Just send it to me.

01:33:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:33:06.000 We'll remember.

01:33:07.000 But I'm excited.

01:33:09.000 I know you work really hard, so I'm excited to see it because I know you are always grinding, Jesus.

01:33:13.000 I see you at the store, at the improv.

01:33:15.000 You're always putting in the work.

01:33:16.000 I'm trying.

01:33:17.000 But you're always real enthusiastic, man.

01:33:19.000 It's just...

01:33:21.000 We're all real fortunate, man, that we get to do this.

01:33:23.000 We're real fortunate that we get to do it around each other with so many other funny people.

01:33:28.000 Yeah.

01:33:29.000 No, it's great.

01:33:30.000 I'm a fan and a student of comedy, you know?

01:33:33.000 It's like, you know, from the get-go, like, you know, even...

01:33:36.000 Because I didn't have full command of the language, you know?

01:33:39.000 You know, until I was like around in the fifth grade.

01:33:41.000 So my first exposure being, you know, Mexican comedians like Cantinflas or, you know, Chespirito, who was a playwright, you know, who wrote these funny characters and India Maria.

01:33:51.000 And that was my first exposure to comedy, I feel like.

01:33:53.000 It was like, you know, from there into physical comedy to your Laurel and Hardy and Three Stooges, Buster Keaton.

01:33:59.000 Like, to me, that was like hysterical.

01:34:01.000 When did you learn English?

01:34:04.000 I started learning—well, I think by fifth grade I fully understood it, but I grew up around—even though I'm born here in Long Beach, you know, you slowly learn it.

01:34:15.000 That's interesting.

01:34:16.000 Yeah, I slowly learned it, and I was in or around only people that spoke— Spanish.

01:34:21.000 I think there's a giant advantage to being bilingual, not just in that you can speak two languages and talk to, you know, people from different cultures and go and travel around the world to speak Spanish, but also because I think your brain has that, there's more nuance.

01:34:35.000 To your understanding of language, right?

01:34:38.000 Because you've got two different languages that you can go back and forth in your head.

01:34:42.000 You've got a romantic Latin language and you've got, you know, European English.

01:34:46.000 You've got this weird combination of those two things you can choose.

01:34:49.000 And so you get a flavor of, like, they sound different.

01:34:53.000 There's different ways of structuring sentences.

01:34:56.000 I bet it's playing chess in a lot of ways, like a little brain exercise.

01:35:01.000 Yeah, it's interesting, but I think initially when you're trying to learn a language, my dad used to joke and say that I was going to end up mute.

01:35:08.000 He's like, you can't speak English or Spanish well.

01:35:10.000 He's like, this is bad, and that's true.

01:35:12.000 I think from a learning point of view, it's like...

01:35:14.000 You had them garbled up together?

01:35:16.000 Yeah, I would make up words.

01:35:18.000 My dad's like, that's not even Spanish or English.

01:35:21.000 I'm like, my dad wouldn't even speak English either.

01:35:25.000 So he's like, I don't speak it well, but I know you're saying it wrong.

01:35:28.000 So it was a very hard thing.

01:35:30.000 And I tested very badly in school because of it.

01:35:35.000 That's a problem with a lot of kids, right?

01:35:37.000 Huge.

01:35:38.000 I got put into slower classes, if you will, because I tested so hard.

01:35:45.000 So awful on paper.

01:35:47.000 And it's like, I understand the concepts.

01:35:49.000 I understand what's going on.

01:35:50.000 I just can't communicate it.

01:35:52.000 And obviously part of education is learning how to conceptualize something and communicate it properly.

01:35:57.000 But if you can't do that, they just think that the mechanics, your logic is impaired.

01:36:03.000 And it's not.

01:36:04.000 It's my ability to communicate.

01:36:06.000 Yeah, it's your ability to communicate and it's also when you get behind the eight ball with something like that as a kid and you get self-conscious about it and then it's bothering you for years and years, that can affect all the aspects of your life.

01:36:21.000 It can affect your confidence with girls or with friends or with whatever.

01:36:26.000 With boys, whatever you're into.

01:36:29.000 Then something could be like, you know, it's like, oh, he's not behaving well with kids.

01:36:33.000 He's fighting.

01:36:34.000 Well, it's because the lack of communication.

01:36:36.000 They get angry and frustrated at the world and lash out.

01:36:39.000 But, you know, now as an adult, knowing both languages, it's quite interesting because especially performing stand-up.

01:36:45.000 I've been to New Mexico and performed stand-up, and it's really cool because even as I was getting ready to do this special, there was a show in Mexico that I went to go do, and I did the hour in Spanish.

01:36:58.000 How much changes?

01:37:00.000 A lot.

01:37:00.000 Cadence, similes, metaphors are different.

01:37:06.000 You're saying things backwards.

01:37:08.000 It's the red car.

01:37:10.000 Car red.

01:37:11.000 So you're thinking different and sometimes new jokes come about, but sometimes the material you lose in the translation.

01:37:18.000 Wordplay.

01:37:19.000 Do you add as well, though?

01:37:22.000 I definitely have some original only Spanish observational bits that wouldn't work the other way either.

01:37:29.000 So that's really cool.

01:37:30.000 I think it's really cool.

01:37:31.000 I guess the best example I could give is working on your left.

01:37:36.000 You spent years working on this shot, and you can do a free throw, you can do a layaway, and now you're working with the left.

01:37:45.000 It's close, but it definitely requires more work, more thinking.

01:37:49.000 Yeah. 0.93

01:37:49.000 Yeah, when you teach people martial arts, their left hand is like useless. 0.93

01:37:52.000 It's hilarious.

01:37:53.000 When they first learn how to throw a left hook, so a few people know how to throw their left arm correctly, it's not coordinated.

01:38:00.000 Yeah, it doesn't have the muscle memory.

01:38:02.000 And at least for this, for the language, eventually one language takes over the other.

01:38:08.000 And it's like, you know, in high school, I remember an English teacher told me this.

01:38:14.000 It's like, you know which language is the most dominant?

01:38:16.000 Because you dream and think in that language.

01:38:18.000 Yeah, I've heard that people say that about moving someplace or being on vacation someplace for a long extended period of time.

01:38:24.000 You speak the language, start dreaming in that language.

01:38:28.000 It's kind of crazy.

01:38:28.000 So it's like now I think in English and translate it into Spanish.

01:38:32.000 But, you know, so when I went to Mexico after like a day or two, it's like I'm now thinking in Spanish because my crosshairs have been adjusted.

01:38:39.000 You know, you almost have to like want to soak in the environment.

01:38:44.000 You don't want to...

01:38:45.000 I feel, I don't know this to be true, but I feel like the mind wants to mimic.

01:38:50.000 It always tries to replicate.

01:38:52.000 That's why when you hear somebody with an accent, you almost want to repeat it back to them.

01:38:57.000 Or somebody whispers, I'm whispering too.

01:39:01.000 Why are you doing it?

01:39:02.000 And I feel like that's what that is, too.

01:39:04.000 You start to adjust your crosshairs, but it's been fun navigating doing stand-up in both languages.

01:39:10.000 Joey Diaz does Spanglish shows.

01:39:12.000 Oh, cool.

01:39:13.000 He does English and Spanish together, and he's done a bunch of those in Miami.

01:39:18.000 Dude, you do not want to follow Joey Diaz in Miami when he throws some Spanglish on that crowd.

01:39:22.000 Heck no. 0.84

01:39:23.000 English, Spanglish, whatever, he's a beast.

01:39:25.000 Yeah, you don't want to follow him with English, but I'm telling you, in Miami, when they used to have him go down to the Miami Improv and middle, he would middle for these big-time headliners, and Joey was friends with the guy who ran the club.

01:39:38.000 So Joey was there quite a bit.

01:39:39.000 You know, he'd get good road work there.

01:39:41.000 And dude, nobody wanted to work with him.

01:39:43.000 Nobody wanted to work with him. 0.99

01:39:45.000 He would say some shit in Spanish and in English, and then everybody would be fucking falling on the floor. 1.00

01:39:52.000 And then you try to go up there with your regular jokes, like, good luck, bitch. 1.00

01:39:56.000 What's the deal with socks? 1.00

01:39:58.000 Like, get out of here with that. 0.61

01:39:59.000 You can't, man.

01:40:00.000 Not that place.

01:40:01.000 Miami's so wild.

01:40:03.000 It's such a wild place.

01:40:04.000 It's so different.

01:40:06.000 I haven't spent much time there.

01:40:08.000 I definitely know that it's...

01:40:10.000 It's like a South American country.

01:40:11.000 It's wild.

01:40:12.000 They're wild, man.

01:40:13.000 They're all partying.

01:40:14.000 No one's wearing any clothes.

01:40:16.000 People are dancing.

01:40:17.000 There's music in the streets.

01:40:18.000 The food's great.

01:40:19.000 But it's just got a different vibe.

01:40:20.000 You know, it just has a different vibe.

01:40:22.000 It's a more party vibe.

01:40:23.000 Party vibe.

01:40:24.000 Yeah, that's what I've...

01:40:26.000 When I hear old people moving to Miami, I'm like, how are you going to keep up? 0.99

01:40:30.000 Right, right.

01:40:31.000 That's a party town. 1.00

01:40:33.000 Burn your ass out. 1.00

01:40:34.000 You're going to be like, these kids with their fucking noise? 1.00

01:40:36.000 Be out in the backyard, hearing music and people laughing. 1.00

01:40:41.000 That's where people go when they want to party.

01:40:44.000 Miami. 0.96

01:40:45.000 If like a young kid and they're not doing shit with their life, like, I think I'm gonna move to Miami. 0.97

01:40:49.000 It's like, oh boy. 0.97

01:40:50.000 Gonna get my party on.

01:40:52.000 Maybe be a DJ. Hey, to each his own, if that's what you want to do.

01:40:59.000 What do you think you would have done if you weren't a comic?

01:41:02.000 I think I would have done something in the art still.

01:41:07.000 Maybe even teach art.

01:41:08.000 That would have been cool.

01:41:09.000 Like illustration?

01:41:11.000 Yeah, illustration.

01:41:12.000 I like doodling and stuff.

01:41:13.000 I've always been into that, and I thought I was going to do that in college, and I ended up getting a business degree in marketing.

01:41:19.000 Are you left-handed?

01:41:21.000 No.

01:41:23.000 No. 1.00

01:41:23.000 Because you do a lot of shit with your left hand. 1.00

01:41:25.000 I'm noticing you move your... 1.00

01:41:28.000 When I was younger, I could write with both.

01:41:30.000 I pushed myself to do with those.

01:41:31.000 So it's like, my left is my dominant, like...

01:41:35.000 Not me. 0.76

01:41:36.000 My left hand is basically useless.

01:41:37.000 I broke my forearm once when I was like six, I guess. 0.98

01:41:41.000 I had to write and draw and shit with my left hand. 0.98

01:41:44.000 It was terrible. 0.99

01:41:46.000 Until I got that cast off and I went right back to old righty.

01:41:49.000 Old righty knows how to listen.

01:41:51.000 My handwriting isn't great.

01:41:52.000 It looks like a little kid wrote it.

01:41:54.000 So I would do that on my left because I'm like, they both write the same.

01:41:59.000 So what does it matter?

01:42:00.000 They don't know.

01:42:01.000 When you write, do you write with a computer or do you write on a notebook?

01:42:05.000 I write stuff in my little notebook.

01:42:07.000 One of the things I got in the habit of doing if I can't get to my little notebook, I just start an email chain with premises for the week.

01:42:16.000 Oh, really?

01:42:17.000 And then I just email myself.

01:42:18.000 And then when I do sit down and write on Friday, I could just pull up the thing and I pull up this thread that I've been replying to myself.

01:42:26.000 It's like birthdays and then whatever thing I said.

01:42:29.000 Why don't you just store it on your notes?

01:42:33.000 Because I like to make things difficult, Joe.

01:42:35.000 If I'm being honest.

01:42:38.000 There's some impairment in here.

01:42:41.000 You legitimately like to make things difficult?

01:42:43.000 Seriously?

01:42:44.000 I like to find a different way of doing it and to see if I can land in a...

01:42:48.000 I don't know.

01:42:50.000 It's like if I can land in a more efficient way or just another way of doing it.

01:42:54.000 Well, it seems like it's effective.

01:42:56.000 I mean, it's easy to switch from your computer to your phone because you obviously have email on both.

01:43:04.000 Well, yeah.

01:43:04.000 So it's like it'll be email.

01:43:06.000 It could be a legal pad.

01:43:07.000 This is what I use for sure.

01:43:09.000 And then, you know, I put them up on my wall because I like to be like constantly...

01:43:13.000 Like looking at them, so I feel like in the morning when I look, I wake up and I look at the wall, I have the bits and I have a running set list on a whiteboard in my room that I just kind of look at, just look at the set list and then the stuff that I'm working at that I just write long form.

01:43:29.000 So I don't know.

01:43:30.000 It's probably not the most efficient way, but it works for me.

01:43:33.000 It makes sense.

01:43:33.000 It doesn't matter if it's the most efficient because it's really a lot of it is about time spent thinking about the bits.

01:43:40.000 Maybe if it's inefficient, you'd be thinking about it even more.

01:43:42.000 It doesn't matter.

01:43:44.000 Seems to me that you're doing everything you have to do, which is you're writing things and organizing things and thinking about it.

01:43:49.000 That seems to me what it's about.

01:43:51.000 The way it gets better is thinking about it and thinking about it with intent and energy and real focus, really trying to figure out how to make this bit better.

01:44:00.000 And the more time you spend doing that, the better your bits are.

01:44:02.000 So you're doing all the right steps, whether you do it through email or whether you do it through notes.

01:44:06.000 I'm just wondering why you don't do it through Notes or something like that or Evernote.

01:44:09.000 I use Evernote too, which is great.

01:44:11.000 Oh, Evernote's good.

01:44:12.000 I use that for a while because you can put pictures and stuff like that.

01:44:14.000 So sometimes I would be inspired by a picture and write the thing or a link, you know, an article.

01:44:20.000 Yeah, Evernote's great.

01:44:21.000 I just love having that ability to do something that goes straight to your computer too.

01:44:26.000 And it's also cross-platform.

01:44:28.000 So if you have Windows or Android, it doesn't matter.

01:44:30.000 When did you make the switch from paper to computer?

01:44:33.000 Because Ian Edwards gives me a hard time.

01:44:35.000 He's like, you know, there's computers now.

01:44:36.000 Why do you keep writing on a legal pad?

01:44:38.000 Well, they say when you write on legal pads, though, you remember it more.

01:44:42.000 The yellow.

01:44:43.000 The yellow does something to the eye, right?

01:44:44.000 No, not just...

01:44:44.000 Maybe.

01:44:45.000 I'm sure.

01:44:45.000 Maybe.

01:44:45.000 But what I meant was actually physically writing.

01:44:47.000 I don't know whether or not the yellow would...

01:44:49.000 I think it's cool looking.

01:44:50.000 I like the way it looks.

01:44:52.000 It looks like I'm serious.

01:44:53.000 Like, I'm one of them mathematicians.

01:44:55.000 They always write on, like, yellow legal paper when they're...

01:44:58.000 They lick the pen before they write for no reason.

01:45:00.000 It's like, no, it's not an Inkwell pen.

01:45:02.000 It's a regular...

01:45:03.000 Weird.

01:45:04.000 That's weird.

01:45:05.000 Licking pens.

01:45:06.000 Strange people. 1.00

01:45:06.000 That's how the COVID gets spread, you fucks. 1.00

01:45:09.000 But I think there's something about actually writing things down that enhances your memory of those things. 0.97

01:45:13.000 Like if you make a list, if you write that list down, there's something about it stores better.

01:45:18.000 It's more accessible.

01:45:20.000 I've read that, and I've experienced it.

01:45:22.000 So a trick that I got from Kevin James, because we have the same manager, and I didn't have a rider.

01:45:30.000 They said, what do you want for a rider? 0.99

01:45:31.000 I said, I don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:45:32.000 Just water, whatever. 0.99

01:45:34.000 So they put all the stuff that he gets.

01:45:37.000 On my rider.

01:45:38.000 Just give him Kevin's rider. 0.82

01:45:40.000 You know, it's like normal stuff, but also index cards.

01:45:45.000 He has index cards and Sharpies with every performance.

01:45:50.000 And so I started going over my notes.

01:45:53.000 I would go over my notes during the day, you know, do all my writing, write stuff out.

01:45:57.000 But then, right before the show, I spent a whole hour just breaking down bits onto little index cards.

01:46:05.000 Just bullet points.

01:46:06.000 Just get things out.

01:46:08.000 Just so it's drilled into my head right there and then.

01:46:11.000 Full confidence and I know all the beats, all the moments in order and when to go fast and when to go slow.

01:46:21.000 And it seems like just the more time you spend doing stuff like that, it's just better.

01:46:27.000 It's just always better.

01:46:28.000 It's good.

01:46:29.000 Yeah, it's good because I feel like you're engaging more parts of your body in writing something.

01:46:33.000 You're, you know, you're writing the letter so subconsciously you're tapping into the memory of how do I write this letter, this word, you know, organizing it visually.

01:46:41.000 You know, you're holding a pen.

01:46:43.000 It's like, Yeah, it really becomes ingrained in the mind, and I think there's something special that I don't see myself walking away from that part of it, but for the sake of remembering the premise, because then there's nothing worse than like, dang it, what was that thing?

01:46:55.000 I know.

01:46:56.000 Oh, man.

01:46:57.000 That's why I really like using notes, because on my iPhone, when I use the notes, I just use that voice-to-text feature.

01:47:02.000 Oh, that's great, yeah.

01:47:03.000 So when it's slippery and it's in my head like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, why is it that, and then I'll say it, bam, and it comes out perfect.

01:47:11.000 Yeah, voice to text is really amazing, too, because sometimes in the process of remembering and writing, some of the words are lost and it's like, no, that wasn't the same.

01:47:19.000 It's really good, too.

01:47:20.000 So it captures exactly what you need to do.

01:47:23.000 I wonder if we could pick up your name. 1.00

01:47:25.000 My man Jesus is a bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:47:28.000 Oh. 1.00

01:47:28.000 Yeah, look at that. 1.00

01:47:29.000 Jesus.

01:47:29.000 Look at that.

01:47:30.000 Jesus, that's right.

01:47:31.000 I got you in there.

01:47:31.000 Perfect.

01:47:31.000 I was wondering, like, would it be...

01:47:33.000 Yeah, sometimes the iPhone is like, you know, it's like when you get an Uber or something, it's like, drop off Jesus on the left.

01:47:38.000 It's like, oh.

01:47:39.000 That always gets a big laugh.

01:47:42.000 Or when I do like, I'll get directions somewhere, and once I, it's like, destination on the left, Jesus.

01:47:49.000 It's like, what's with the attitude, Siri?

01:47:51.000 Jesus.

01:47:52.000 Now, why is it that that's such a popular name in Spanish?

01:47:59.000 It's, you know, it's because it's, you know, Mexico, my parents are from Mexico, and, you know, the predominant religion in Mexico is Catholicism, so it's Jesus, much like, you know, in the Muslim religion in the Middle East would be,

01:48:15.000 yeah, so it's our equivalent, I think.

01:48:17.000 I believe it lands somewhere in there. 0.97

01:48:20.000 Do you know how crazy you have to be to be a white guy to name your son Jesus? 1.00

01:48:25.000 Bro, you gotta be off the charts crazy. 0.99

01:48:27.000 If you found out his kid's name is what?

01:48:30.000 Right.

01:48:31.000 His kid's named Jesus.

01:48:32.000 The guy with the beard? 1.00

01:48:32.000 His fucking kid's name is Jesus? 1.00

01:48:35.000 Oh my god, we're moving. 1.00

01:48:36.000 Get your shit, we're moving. 1.00

01:48:38.000 Call your sister. 1.00

01:48:39.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:48:39.000 The guy can't live right next door where we sleep. 1.00

01:48:43.000 Names his kid Jesus.

01:48:44.000 I don't want to be here when the ATF breaks down his door, finds out he's running a cult.

01:48:49.000 When I went to Mexico, they had the paperwork and my passport and stuff is Jesus Trejo.

01:48:56.000 I wrote it just as I would ever.

01:48:59.000 And there was a thing that didn't match up, and it was an accent.

01:49:02.000 So if you look at it, it's written with English letters.

01:49:06.000 So it's like my parents didn't really know how to read or write, so somebody else filled out the paperwork for me, like my birth certificate.

01:49:14.000 So it's Jesus Trejo, just like you would see it anywhere else.

01:49:17.000 But in Mexico, there's an accent over it.

01:49:20.000 You know, there's an accent over the E, Jesus.

01:49:23.000 You know, almost like the ñ. 0.58

01:49:25.000 So technically, I guess, I found that out when I went to Mexico.

01:49:29.000 One of the comedians and also when I showed my passport at customs, they're like, it's Jesus.

01:49:35.000 It's Jesus Trejo.

01:49:36.000 Oh, because it's not Jesus.

01:49:38.000 Right.

01:49:38.000 Because it doesn't have that accent.

01:49:40.000 Oh, interesting.

01:49:41.000 Right, like año. 1.00

01:49:42.000 Yeah, but you're not married to that fucking silly piece of paper. 1.00

01:49:45.000 No, no. 1.00

01:49:45.000 No, I'm just saying it's like año, you know, the accent. 1.00

01:49:48.000 Yeah.

01:49:49.000 It's like when the Pope came, it's like because of the accent.

01:49:54.000 So it's like Papa is like, you know, Dad, but also it's Potato.

01:50:00.000 And it's like somebody had a sign, I don't know if you can see it, it's like, Welcome Potato!

01:50:04.000 Like just with the confidence of, you know, Google Translate.

01:50:10.000 Can you imagine putting in all that work and it's wrong?

01:50:15.000 Spanish has those cool little things that hang out above letters.

01:50:18.000 Yeah, that's Enya.

01:50:19.000 Yeah.

01:50:19.000 And that's a whole letter in itself.

01:50:21.000 Yeah.

01:50:23.000 That's kind of dope though.

01:50:24.000 You guys get extra letters.

01:50:26.000 Do you use all the letters that English uses too?

01:50:29.000 All of them?

01:50:30.000 Do we use all of them?

01:50:31.000 I haven't used Z in a long time.

01:50:33.000 Yeah, but there's got to be some.

01:50:36.000 What?

01:50:37.000 That are some songs that are some words that end in Z, they're Spanish words, right?

01:50:44.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:50:45.000 Oh, I thought in English.

01:50:46.000 She's like, do you use all?

01:50:47.000 Right, but I'm saying in Spanish.

01:50:48.000 Maybe I said it wrong.

01:50:49.000 What I meant is like, are there any English letters that, because you have extra ones like Eñe.

01:50:54.000 Yeah, año you use a lot, like niña, año for year.

01:50:59.000 So you have one more, but do you have all the ones?

01:51:02.000 Or double L, like make a Y sound.

01:51:07.000 But Spanish and English use all the other, there's not like a letter that Spanish tends to not use, right?

01:51:14.000 The English language?

01:51:16.000 Yeah, it's all the same.

01:51:18.000 There's five extra letters.

01:51:19.000 Oh, five extra. 0.99

01:51:21.000 And then Vikings have those cool little dots and shit over their letters. 0.93

01:51:25.000 You ever watch that show Vikings? 0.94

01:51:29.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:51:30.000 Norwegian people and Icelandic people.

01:51:33.000 They put those weird dots all over the place.

01:51:36.000 What is that when they're typing things in Icelandic or in Viking language?

01:51:43.000 Icelandic?

01:51:44.000 That's, to me, one of the more fascinating things about humans today is that they have this one part of the world where they develop these enormous men.

01:51:53.000 These strong men guys.

01:51:55.000 These guys are all from Iceland.

01:51:56.000 Like a whole bunch of them are from Iceland.

01:51:57.000 Like that Game of Thrones guy that played the mountain.

01:52:01.000 They're all these monstrously huge people.

01:52:03.000 And you're like, well, what is that? 0.99

01:52:04.000 What the fuck is going on there? 1.00

01:52:05.000 Well, they're Vikings, bitch! 1.00

01:52:07.000 This is the leftover Vikings. 1.00

01:52:09.000 Yeah.

01:52:10.000 Like they were real.

01:52:11.000 There really were a bunch of giant men who marauded their way across the world.

01:52:15.000 We're real lucky that now all they try to do is like throw beer barrels over the top of a fence.

01:52:20.000 We're lucky.

01:52:21.000 We're lucky these guys just like hold on to cars and keep them from sliding down a ramp.

01:52:25.000 You see that when they have a handle in each hand and they just hold there?

01:52:29.000 We're lucky. 0.99

01:52:30.000 We're lucky as fuck. 1.00

01:52:31.000 They would be out there crushing skulls and smashing. 0.99

01:52:34.000 This is the weird one they have.

01:52:35.000 They have a letter that no word starts with.

01:52:38.000 It's like the lower case.

01:52:40.000 It's after D. It's in between D and E. It's called F? I don't know.

01:52:45.000 What does it say?

01:52:46.000 There was something that popped up there.

01:52:48.000 What was that thing that popped up?

01:52:49.000 It's probably because I was just hovering over.

01:52:50.000 Oh, hover over that O with the two dots over at the end.

01:52:53.000 That's what I'm trying to get to.

01:52:56.000 Yeah, that's the one I was talking about. 1.00

01:52:58.000 Like, what is that fucker? 1.00

01:52:59.000 It's like a character. 1.00

01:53:00.000 Like, what are you doing here?

01:53:02.000 I don't know.

01:53:03.000 They put me here.

01:53:03.000 It says O or whatever.

01:53:06.000 It's not even saying how to say it.

01:53:08.000 Umlaut is the thing above it.

01:53:09.000 Oh, Umlaut.

01:53:10.000 Okay.

01:53:11.000 There's a character that, like, I know there's a guy, a mathematician, Kirk Godel.

01:53:16.000 Don't they use that in his name?

01:53:18.000 Mm-hmm.

01:53:19.000 It's a character that represents the letter from several extended Latin alphabets, the letter O modified with an umlaut or diuresis.

01:53:32.000 In many languages, the O or the O modified with an umlaut is used to denote the non-closed front rounded vowels.

01:53:42.000 Oh, you know what that is.

01:53:44.000 I don't have to explain that to you at all, Jesus. 0.99

01:53:46.000 What the fuck is that? 0.99

01:53:47.000 The fuck's a non-closed, front-rounded vowel? 1.00

01:53:50.000 I give up! 1.00

01:53:52.000 It's too hard, you Viking fucks. 1.00

01:53:53.000 Go eat your pickled swords. 0.99

01:53:56.000 It's so fascinating, all the alphabets, even like the Greek alphabet, the alphabet, gamma, delta, you know what I mean?

01:54:01.000 And in mathematics, they tend to use that more to assign to variables.

01:54:07.000 What's that dope AE right next to it?

01:54:09.000 That's pretty cool.

01:54:10.000 What is that?

01:54:11.000 Elon's kid's name, right?

01:54:13.000 I think so.

01:54:14.000 Character formed from the letters A and E. Originally, a ligature representing the Latin diphthong AE. It has been promoted to the full status of a letter in some languages, including the Danish,

01:54:30.000 Norwegian, Icelandic, and Feroz.

01:54:33.000 Faroese? 0.51

01:54:35.000 Hmm. 1.00

01:54:36.000 What the fuck is that place? 0.98

01:54:37.000 It was also used in Old Swedish before being changed to an A with two dots above it. 0.99

01:54:44.000 Interesting.

01:54:45.000 Hmm.

01:54:46.000 Interesting.

01:54:47.000 I've seen it in enema.

01:54:48.000 I don't know how it's properly supposed to be said.

01:54:51.000 That character looks like when you buy alphabet soup and there's two letters stuck together.

01:54:55.000 You're like, oh, wow, I got the special one.

01:54:57.000 Exactly.

01:54:57.000 Like SpaghettiOs.

01:54:58.000 They pile on top of each other.

01:55:00.000 Look at that one.

01:55:01.000 A D that's been attacked by a sword with a backward six. 1.00

01:55:05.000 And these are Viking languages?

01:55:07.000 So it's called orthography.

01:55:10.000 Looks like a blossoming number six.

01:55:13.000 Icelandic orthography.

01:55:14.000 It's dope. 0.55

01:55:15.000 That's fascinating.

01:55:16.000 Well, what's really interesting to me is how old it is.

01:55:18.000 I mean, how long has that particular language been around for?

01:55:25.000 Early 12th century, it says.

01:55:26.000 First document referred to as the... 1.00

01:55:28.000 That's wild shit. 1.00

01:55:31.000 That's wild shit. 1.00

01:55:32.000 They just found a horde of Viking stuff. 1.00

01:55:36.000 I think something was defrosting.

01:55:39.000 See if you can find Viking artifacts.

01:55:42.000 Wow.

01:55:43.000 What a crazy time that must have been. 1.00

01:55:45.000 Never knowing when you wake up, you're going to see a boat full of fucking giant men with swords. 1.00

01:55:51.000 Just looking to pull up at the beach and start hacking people apart and raping all the women. 1.00

01:55:55.000 Like, fuck! 1.00

01:55:58.000 Is it? 1.00

01:55:59.000 Melting Ice reveals a lost Viking-era pass in Norway's mountains.

01:56:04.000 Wow.

01:56:06.000 Wow.

01:56:07.000 Artifacts show people used the route for a thousand years, then abandoned it, possibly amid a plague.

01:56:12.000 Another plague.

01:56:13.000 Another plague.

01:56:14.000 What is that thing that dude's got in his hand?

01:56:17.000 Wouldn't bid for goats, kids, and lambs to prevent them suckling their mother. 0.61

01:56:21.000 Wow.

01:56:22.000 Because the milk was processed for human consumption.

01:56:25.000 So a pacifier?

01:56:26.000 Wow.

01:56:26.000 So they put that in their mouth to make them bite down on it.

01:56:30.000 Oh, how weird.

01:56:31.000 It looks like the top of a scroll, like a small one.

01:56:35.000 And so the humans were stealing the lamb's breast milk.

01:56:39.000 And then giving it to their family.

01:56:41.000 And then they pour a little lamp.

01:56:43.000 I wonder what's going on. 1.00

01:56:45.000 Trying to suck that tit. 1.00

01:56:46.000 Like, no, no, no. 1.00

01:56:46.000 How about you just take a stick in your mouth, you little fuck, and tie it behind your head. 1.00

01:56:51.000 There's another one. 1.00

01:56:52.000 Stylus.

01:56:53.000 Two more pacifiers.

01:56:54.000 How weird.

01:56:54.000 Yeah, it's a stylus, right?

01:56:55.000 That's what it says.

01:56:56.000 It says possible stylus.

01:56:58.000 But what would that be used for?

01:57:00.000 What's the exact same?

01:57:00.000 I don't know.

01:57:01.000 Did they have Galaxy Notes?

01:57:05.000 It looks exactly like the one with the little knobs on it.

01:57:09.000 It does.

01:57:09.000 You can click the top of it and change.

01:57:11.000 Have you ever used the Galaxy Note?

01:57:13.000 No.

01:57:13.000 Dude, they're dope.

01:57:14.000 Yeah?

01:57:14.000 Yeah.

01:57:15.000 I mean, the real problem is...

01:57:17.000 You don't have the same protection.

01:57:21.000 It's SMS for text messaging.

01:57:23.000 Green bubble, yeah.

01:57:26.000 It's just not the best way.

01:57:29.000 If you're interested in privacy, it's way easier to intercept your data and the things you're saying.

01:57:34.000 It's more secure the way Apple does it, but... 0.98

01:57:38.000 Um, what they have going for them is this fucking pen where you could draw on anything. 0.99

01:57:43.000 You could draw on this front screen. 0.99

01:57:45.000 Like, if you want to take notes, you could take notes.

01:57:47.000 You could put your notes on the screen of your phone, like, when it's off.

01:57:51.000 And then you can swipe.

01:57:52.000 Like, you put, like, a hundred pages of notes.

01:57:54.000 And you store those notes.

01:57:55.000 And you could write them all.

01:57:56.000 And they even take the text messages, I'm pretty sure, that you've written and translated into printed font.

01:58:03.000 So it'll take...

01:58:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:58:05.000 It's...

01:58:05.000 It's pretty amazing.

01:58:06.000 The fucking screen is enormous. 1.00

01:58:08.000 It's an enormous screen with this tiny little dot hole in it. 1.00

01:58:11.000 So, like, for watching YouTube videos and shit, it's incredible. 0.97

01:58:15.000 It's just Apple's ecosystem is so seductive. 0.99

01:58:19.000 Right.

01:58:20.000 Once you start using the blue iMessages, and then the big one for me is AirDrop.

01:58:24.000 And like I said, hey, AirDrop is so easy.

01:58:27.000 Just bloop, it's on there.

01:58:28.000 Oh, got it, got it.

01:58:29.000 Even video from, like, a laptop to your phone, it's just so easy in both ways, but...

01:58:34.000 And with AirDrop, you know, we could be on the top of a mountain with no cell phone service at all, and you could AirDrop me.

01:58:39.000 Right.

01:58:39.000 Because it's just Bluetooth.

01:58:40.000 It's just wireless.

01:58:41.000 It's going from phone to phone.

01:58:43.000 It doesn't have to be connected to a network.

01:58:45.000 It's pretty amazing.

01:58:46.000 Yeah, and it's hard.

01:58:47.000 Once you get into this whole, like, yeah, once you get into the iPhone of it all, the Apple products, it's like, they got you by every angle.

01:58:55.000 You gotta get the iPad.

01:58:56.000 They're sneaky.

01:58:57.000 They're sneaky.

01:58:58.000 They're sneaky.

01:58:59.000 The headphones, the works.

01:59:01.000 It's good to have competition, but the way they've done it, man, they've made it so attractive that, like, at least 50% of the people, I think, are on iPhones.

01:59:10.000 Isn't it like that?

01:59:11.000 In America?

01:59:12.000 Well, depending on what you want to say, because I just heard something like 82% of all devices are Android.

01:59:19.000 That makes sense.

01:59:20.000 Yeah, that's just because in other places, iPhones are not as attractive because they have more options and they have WhatsApp.

01:59:28.000 They use WhatsApp all the time.

01:59:30.000 So they do so much of their texting through WhatsApp.

01:59:32.000 It doesn't even matter.

01:59:33.000 They don't get the green. 0.99

01:59:34.000 They don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:59:35.000 In WhatsApp, you could send full pictures and you could do all that shit. 0.99

01:59:38.000 Yeah, videos, the whole works.

01:59:40.000 Yeah, but there's something about, you know, the green text message bubble, you know.

01:59:43.000 Here it's like the cone of shame, apparently, you know.

01:59:46.000 Yeah, you gotta be willing to get away from that.

01:59:48.000 Because here's the thing, it doesn't show up like that on an Android phone.

01:59:51.000 On an Android phone, you have different themes.

01:59:54.000 You can change the colors, you can change the way it looks.

01:59:56.000 Yeah, way more flexibility to change the way it looks.

01:59:59.000 There's a bunch of different messaging apps that you could use. 0.95

02:00:01.000 You could have night mode and all kinds of shit.

02:00:05.000 45% of the smartphone users in the United States. 0.99

02:00:07.000 Wow.

02:00:08.000 100 million iPhone users.

02:00:09.000 That's a lot.

02:00:10.000 I've never given it a shot, but...

02:00:11.000 It's crazy because it's one company.

02:00:13.000 That's what's really crazy.

02:00:14.000 Like Android phones.

02:00:16.000 You've got Samsung.

02:00:16.000 You've got OnePlus.

02:00:18.000 You can go down the line.

02:00:19.000 You've got, you know, Motorola makes them.

02:00:22.000 Everybody makes them.

02:00:24.000 Palm still makes cell phones.

02:00:25.000 Do they really?

02:00:26.000 Yeah.

02:00:27.000 They made a tiny one that's like that big.

02:00:29.000 It's weird.

02:00:30.000 It's so big that you could wear like skin-tight pants and it's just like a tiny little thing that slides into your pocket.

02:00:38.000 It wouldn't even look weird.

02:00:39.000 The Motorola?

02:00:41.000 There it is. 1.00

02:00:42.000 Look at the size of this fucker. 1.00

02:00:44.000 It's hard to see right there, but it's so small. 1.00

02:00:47.000 Look how big their hand is there.

02:00:49.000 Yeah, and I don't know how big that dude's hand is.

02:00:51.000 Have you seen the new Motorola razor?

02:00:54.000 Maybe guys like to paint their nails, bro.

02:00:56.000 Maybe.

02:00:58.000 Tate likes to paint, or he used to at least.

02:01:00.000 But look how tiny he is.

02:01:01.000 Look how little. 0.97

02:01:02.000 So there's a lot of people who are like, I'm sick of being fucking completely digitally connected. 0.79

02:01:08.000 I just want to be able to text people when I want to. 0.87

02:01:10.000 Two ounces. 0.96

02:01:11.000 Yeah, so I'll just take this little ass thing with me and just give myself a little break. 0.99

02:01:15.000 Like, if I need to call somebody, it's there.

02:01:17.000 And the way I think it is, this is one of them, but the other one that they had syncs up with their bigger phone.

02:01:23.000 So they had a bigger phone they could leave at home.

02:01:26.000 So it's almost like...

02:01:27.000 A more usable version of an Apple Watch.

02:01:30.000 Oh wow.

02:01:31.000 They might not have that anymore because this is just palm.com.

02:01:34.000 This is all that they have on there.

02:01:37.000 Designed for life on the go.

02:01:39.000 They're down to that one.

02:01:40.000 Have you seen the Razer?

02:01:41.000 It's like the tiny thing.

02:01:42.000 There's like a new version that folds in half and then opens up to the thing.

02:01:46.000 That's pretty cool looking.

02:01:48.000 This looks like such an iPhone clone though.

02:01:50.000 Doesn't it?

02:01:51.000 Like look at the way the camera is set up in the back. 1.00

02:01:54.000 You can't trick me, bitch. 1.00

02:01:55.000 Scroll up a little bit so I can see those photos of the... 1.00

02:01:58.000 Yeah, look at that. 1.00

02:01:59.000 That's a fucking iPhone. 1.00

02:02:00.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:02:00.000 Oh no, we put it on the other side. 1.00

02:02:03.000 Even the Google phone is pretty similar, right?

02:02:06.000 No, iPhone's on the left.

02:02:08.000 We're on the right.

02:02:09.000 Totally different. 1.00

02:02:10.000 Same thing, bitch. 1.00

02:02:13.000 I think phones are doing the same thing that cars, like car companies do that, you know, they kind of go with a certain chassis and they dress it up in their own way. 0.99

02:02:21.000 Oh, yeah.

02:02:22.000 For sure.

02:02:23.000 Yeah.

02:02:24.000 Well, there's definitely a lot of that.

02:02:25.000 Well, there's, you know, there's companies that make the components, you know, like Samsung makes most of the screens for iPhones.

02:02:33.000 So even though iPhone is a different company, the screens are being made by a company outside.

02:02:42.000 But the only thing that separates Apple in that regard is that Apple makes their own processors, I think.

02:02:48.000 Isn't it exclusively to Apple?

02:02:51.000 The A12 chip?

02:02:52.000 Yeah, the Bionic thing.

02:02:53.000 I think it is.

02:02:55.000 And it's supposedly the best cell phone chip.

02:02:57.000 Then with Samsung, they can choose between the Snapdragon.

02:03:01.000 So they have the Snapdragon series.

02:03:04.000 What is it, like the 865 or something like that?

02:03:06.000 Specs-wise, they've got to be pretty close, right?

02:03:09.000 They're real close.

02:03:11.000 They're super close.

02:03:12.000 But that's what I was saying about the Note that I have. 0.99

02:03:15.000 It's fast as fuck. 0.94

02:03:16.000 And the new ones, the thing about the new ones is they have 120Hz refresh rate. 0.98

02:03:20.000 I haven't experienced that, but I have experienced that with TVs and video games, monitors.

02:03:27.000 When you play Quake on them at a very high refresh rate, it's amazing.

02:03:31.000 A high frame rate makes the thing so much smoother and cooler looking.

02:03:37.000 They say your eye can only register 30 frames per second, but I don't know if that's really true.

02:03:44.000 Do you think it's more or less?

02:03:45.000 I think you could see more, because when they ramp it up, the difference between 30 and 90 is pretty prevalent.

02:03:50.000 I think most phones are at 60 hertz.

02:03:55.000 Is that right?

02:03:56.000 Yeah, they're starting to get up into 120 right now.

02:03:58.000 Yeah, so apparently there's a big benefit, and Samsung has that.

02:04:01.000 So when you scroll, like if you get one of their new Galaxy S20s, and you scroll with it, it's like buttery smooth, apparently.

02:04:08.000 Everybody tries and says it's intoxicating.

02:04:10.000 So it's so fun to use just because of that refresh rate.

02:04:14.000 But Apple's going to come up with that next, too.

02:04:16.000 Yeah, they're going to be toe-in-toe.

02:04:17.000 But I think the main thing, I think, why people almost gravitate toward an iPhone, it's like the camera.

02:04:23.000 It's like when somebody on Instagram posts a picture from a Samsung, you know it's a Samsung.

02:04:29.000 And this one just has a little more depth of field.

02:04:32.000 I think that used to be the case.

02:04:34.000 Oh, not anymore?

02:04:35.000 No.

02:04:35.000 Oh, okay.

02:04:35.000 No, the new Samsung Galaxy S20s.

02:04:38.000 There's a thing called the S20 Ultra. 0.83

02:04:40.000 It's one of the most ridiculous cameras you've ever seen on a phone ever. 0.88

02:04:43.000 Dude, it's got a 108 megapixel. 0.99

02:04:46.000 No way.

02:04:47.000 108 megapixel lens.

02:04:50.000 Don't get caught up in that 108 number though, because it's just a number, it's like a data number.

02:04:54.000 Right.

02:04:54.000 It's the same thing with the zoom, right?

02:04:56.000 Like the zoom is a lot of it's digital zoom, right?

02:04:58.000 Yeah, it still has a lot to do with the optics and the glass that's going in there and then the sensor that it's them being going on to that can give you a better or worse picture.

02:05:06.000 But it used to be a big deal to have like a 5 megapixel camera on a phone.

02:05:11.000 Now they're up to 108. They have these gigantic camera bumps in the back of these cameras now because they have actual zoom lenses that are mechanical zoom lenses and then they have digital zoom.

02:05:25.000 And then they're doing night vision.

02:05:28.000 Not night vision, but night mode where they'll take a photograph of a dark room and then you can see almost all the details.

02:05:33.000 They do that now, don't they?

02:05:34.000 Yeah.

02:05:35.000 The new iPhones do that now.

02:05:36.000 Did you see the infrared issue that came up like a week or two ago?

02:05:39.000 No.

02:05:39.000 There's a brand new phone that had a, which I think it was on a phone like 10 years ago when it came up, but there was like a setting you could do while you were taking a photo.

02:05:46.000 It was like an infrared camera filter that allowed you to technically see through stuff.

02:05:52.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:05:53.000 It wasn't supposed to do that, but...

02:05:55.000 See-through like what?

02:05:56.000 So like Lou from Unbox Therapy made a video just showing you what you could see through.

02:05:59.000 So you could take a picture of an Apple TV, like the actual physical box, and see through the black plastic to see the internal components.

02:06:06.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:06:06.000 And he did it to a shirt. 0.71

02:06:08.000 He put it underneath his shirt, and you could see through a black shirt.

02:06:13.000 Yeah, because it was thin enough for it to kind of...

02:06:15.000 It's just the way that the light works with the infrared and what the camera then picks up.

02:06:20.000 Wow, so you could have a camera under your shirt and people would have no idea.

02:06:23.000 And you're walking around like if a dude's wearing a wire and he's got a camera strapped to his black shirt.

02:06:29.000 Or you can take a bunch of pictures of people and have girls not wearing anything. 0.97

02:06:33.000 Oh my god, you can see right through their clothes?

02:06:35.000 They took it out off the phone now.

02:06:37.000 Why didn't you tell me first?

02:06:40.000 You could probably find it. 1.00

02:06:42.000 Damn it. 0.99

02:06:42.000 Well, you make a great point for the Galaxy. 0.99

02:06:44.000 I'm definitely up to try it, because, I mean, with the iPhones, it's just a constant having to upgrade, and it's like, that one, it seems like it would be good for longer than the iPhone would.

02:06:52.000 No, the iPhones actually last longer.

02:06:54.000 Really?

02:06:54.000 Yeah, they say, and they also, they'll keep updating your iPhone.

02:07:11.000 I like both.

02:07:14.000 I think there's a real benefit to having competitors, and that's one of the reasons why Apple's been forced to really step up.

02:07:20.000 Android phones, particularly like Samsung phones and Huawei phones and all these different phones.

02:07:25.000 But that is funny.

02:07:26.000 They're really stepping up.

02:07:27.000 But there was this lady who was working for Huawei who got in trouble because she was posting photos on Instagram for Huawei products using an iPhone. 1.00

02:07:37.000 They proved that she was using an iPhone to take the pictures and posting them up as Huawei.

02:07:42.000 That's awesome.

02:07:43.000 Yeah.

02:07:43.000 Wait, she wanted a good picture.

02:07:45.000 See, that's what I was telling you earlier.

02:07:46.000 You want a good picture, you got to do what I want.

02:07:48.000 And then there's Google.

02:07:48.000 Google makes their own phones now, too.

02:07:50.000 They make the Pixels, and they have some of the best cameras ever.

02:07:52.000 Their cameras are incredible.

02:07:54.000 The Google Pixels cameras were way ahead of the curve, too.

02:07:57.000 There was one of the big selling points about the early Pixel phones was how spectacular their camera was.

02:08:03.000 And how seamlessly the phone communicates with the Android system because it's pure Android.

02:08:09.000 There's no developer software on it or carrier software.

02:08:14.000 It's just straight Google.

02:08:17.000 And the updates go immediately to the Google phones.

02:08:21.000 Whereas like Samsung...

02:08:22.000 When you buy a Samsung phone, if Google updates their operating system, you have to wait a while, maybe even six months, for them to kind of update you to the next, because they have to code it, they have to get it, but it gets released on the pixels first.

02:08:34.000 Right.

02:08:35.000 Yeah, so that's probably the best move for a straight Android phone.

02:08:40.000 Then you're giving all your data.

02:08:42.000 All of it.

02:08:43.000 All your data.

02:08:44.000 Fork it over.

02:08:45.000 All your data.

02:08:46.000 Where you going, Jesus?

02:08:47.000 Where do you eat, Jesus?

02:08:48.000 What do you look at, Jesus?

02:08:50.000 Everything.

02:08:50.000 What should I sell you, Jesus?

02:08:52.000 Right.

02:08:53.000 Where you been?

02:08:54.000 Where you going?

02:08:55.000 You know, your flight is at 11 o'clock in the morning.

02:08:57.000 How do you know? 1.00

02:08:58.000 How do you know where I'm going, you fuck? 1.00

02:09:00.000 Right. 1.00

02:09:00.000 That phone, it's 22 minutes to home if you drive now. 1.00

02:09:04.000 The whole thing, right?

02:09:05.000 How do you know where my home is? 0.99

02:09:06.000 I didn't even put my home in the fucking phone. 1.00

02:09:08.000 It knows where you sleep at night. 0.99

02:09:10.000 Buy a movie ticket, so you better leave now.

02:09:12.000 There's traffic. 0.99

02:09:13.000 Well, how about Tom Papa's story about the fucking Apple Watch? 0.98

02:09:17.000 His Apple Watch told him he shouldn't have been out during the lockdown. 0.98

02:09:20.000 He was sneaking away to record sessions for his audiobook, and his Apple Watch was ratting him out.

02:09:26.000 I don't think you're home, Tom.

02:09:28.000 No way.

02:09:29.000 Tom, you should be at home now.

02:09:31.000 Stay home, stay safe.

02:09:33.000 Really?

02:09:34.000 I didn't get to ask him that, but that could have just been very coincidental because I get an Apple Watch update every day from this particular app.

02:09:41.000 It just happens at like the same exact time.

02:09:42.000 No, no, no, Jamie.

02:09:44.000 It was alerting him that he was not in his home and he was supposed to be locked down. 1.00

02:09:48.000 It was saying it knows you're outside your home, you fuck. 1.00

02:09:52.000 What are you doing? 1.00

02:09:54.000 Bro.

02:09:55.000 It was a polite way of saying, hey, you're not home.

02:09:57.000 Hey, sign me out.

02:09:59.000 Done.

02:09:59.000 I'm done.

02:10:00.000 It's ratting me out.

02:10:02.000 It's angry at me.

02:10:03.000 It's giving me advice.

02:10:04.000 Shouldn't you be home? 1.00

02:10:05.000 Aren't you a fucking watch? 1.00

02:10:07.000 The watch got a cash reward for telling somebody. 1.00

02:10:11.000 I'm not looking for advice from my watch.

02:10:14.000 Just you tell me what time it is, and if I want something, I'm going to go to you.

02:10:17.000 Oh, yeah.

02:10:17.000 Don't they got the watches, too?

02:10:18.000 It's time to stand up.

02:10:19.000 It's like, oh, okay.

02:10:20.000 Yes, they do that, too.

02:10:22.000 You've been sitting for an hour, Bob.

02:10:24.000 Shouldn't you stand up and move around?

02:10:25.000 Okay, I guess I'm stretching now. 1.00

02:10:27.000 What do you do if Bob's a lazy fuck and he's working for you? 0.99

02:10:30.000 Like, Bob, you're supposed to be working on this project. 1.00

02:10:31.000 Well, my watch says differently.

02:10:33.000 My watch says I need to stretch out.

02:10:35.000 I'll be up here for the next ten minutes at least.

02:10:37.000 Let me do my job to the best of my ability.

02:10:40.000 That includes moving.

02:10:41.000 Bob is in HR, so what happened?

02:10:43.000 My watch said I needed to stand up and go for a walk.

02:10:46.000 I've been sitting too long.

02:10:50.000 That's hysterical.

02:10:51.000 Yeah, how long before it's like a little robe that sits on your shoulders?

02:10:56.000 Tells you what to do.

02:10:58.000 Yeah.

02:10:58.000 Jesus.

02:10:59.000 Right.

02:11:00.000 A little angel.

02:11:01.000 That's what's coming on the new iOS 13.5.

02:11:04.000 I updated it the other day and there was a notification that said it allows your phone to pop up to type in your passcode faster because it'll know if you have a face mask on.

02:11:14.000 This is the first step, they're saying, because there's going to be some app to notify you. 0.98

02:11:18.000 They need a fucking fingerprint reader. 0.99

02:11:20.000 Everybody else has a fingerprint reader. 1.00

02:11:22.000 Listen, man, it's real simple.

02:11:24.000 Sony has theirs in a brilliant spot.

02:11:26.000 They have theirs where the power button is.

02:11:28.000 You put your finger on there, and as you're pressing it, you just press it, press the power button, and it's a fingerprint reader.

02:11:34.000 The iPhones have it, but I guess the newer ones, they got rid of it, right?

02:11:37.000 They got rid of it, but Sony has a dope new phone.

02:11:41.000 It's the Xperia something 2.1 or something like that. 0.87

02:11:46.000 I forget what the fuck it's called, but they just came out with it.

02:11:49.000 And they're... 0.99

02:11:50.000 They have insane cameras.

02:11:52.000 Yeah, their camera game is just off the charts.

02:11:55.000 Yeah, because Sony has history with making the best digital cameras, or some of the best digital cameras.

02:12:01.000 So they have that along with this screen, and the screen is designed for the same aspect ratio as movies.

02:12:08.000 So it's like it fits perfectly with the movie.

02:12:09.000 It's kind of odd.

02:12:10.000 It's like long and thin.

02:12:12.000 It's shaped different.

02:12:14.000 Like the iPhone is designed to be an iPhone.

02:12:16.000 And when you watch a movie, it just fits or it doesn't fit on the screen.

02:12:19.000 Like, why are you watching a movie on your phone?

02:12:21.000 What are you doing?

02:12:21.000 Right, right.

02:12:22.000 You know, eat that board.

02:12:23.000 But with this.

02:12:23.000 Like with the 4K? With the Sony one.

02:12:26.000 What is this, Jamie?

02:12:26.000 The eyeball thing.

02:12:27.000 Their promo video for it.

02:12:30.000 Oh, it's like something out of the Terminator.

02:12:32.000 Yeah. 0.77

02:12:33.000 It's a dope phone.

02:12:34.000 Yeah, it's the 1-2.

02:12:35.000 I don't know why.

02:12:36.000 Weird name.

02:12:37.000 Very weird name.

02:12:38.000 Try getting your mother to remember that.

02:12:41.000 Ma, give me one of them Experias. 0.86

02:12:43.000 What is he saying?

02:12:44.000 Yeah, it's the 1-2. 0.99

02:12:46.000 What is a fucking 1-2? 0.99

02:12:47.000 It's not Spanish or English. 0.99

02:12:49.000 What are you talking about?

02:12:50.000 The 2-1?

02:12:51.000 You got a 21 phone?

02:12:53.000 Can you say 12, 1, 2?

02:12:54.000 So what is all this jazz doing?

02:12:56.000 It's showing the AI technology built into it right now.

02:12:58.000 This stuff is starting to get interesting with these cameras and what you can do and the devices and things it recognizes as instantly.

02:13:05.000 And what is it doing right there?

02:13:07.000 Right there I think it was checking like It looked like it was looking at pineapples and whatnot, but there's some new apps right now.

02:13:12.000 If you want to get, for instance, this computer or a new shoe, you can tap in the thing, like, show it to me, and you can now turn your camera onto this table, and it will show you what it will look like sitting on your table.

02:13:22.000 You can change the angles and see what this new thing you want to buy will look like in your space.

02:13:26.000 That would be amazing if you were an interior designer, and you're trying to set up someone's house, and you'd be like, look, look what we could do here.

02:13:32.000 Bam! 0.98

02:13:33.000 And then they look at their phone?

02:13:34.000 Yeah, that's crazy.

02:13:37.000 Is it the same technology for eyeglasses?

02:13:41.000 You know how you can try on eyeglasses without being in the store now?

02:13:45.000 Yeah, that show you what you look like?

02:13:46.000 Yeah, so you're literally like this, and you're like, well, let me see the thick frame ones.

02:13:50.000 It's like, goosh.

02:13:51.000 Oh, wow.

02:13:52.000 Yeah, you don't have to go in store anymore.

02:13:53.000 You can move around a little like a Snapchat filter.

02:13:55.000 Yeah, and it's already like, I don't know, it takes measurement, so when you move it, it's like...

02:14:00.000 Yeah, looks fine.

02:14:01.000 The same technology, I guess, that you would see when the girls do the things with the puppy dog nose and the ears. 1.00

02:14:06.000 Yeah, same thing, technically. 1.00

02:14:08.000 Same shit. 1.00

02:14:08.000 This glasses, this glasses. 1.00

02:14:10.000 Yeah.

02:14:11.000 The future's going to be very strange, Jesus.

02:14:13.000 Very strange.

02:14:14.000 Very strange.

02:14:15.000 Very strange.

02:14:16.000 Does it scare you?

02:14:19.000 I'm concerned.

02:14:21.000 Yeah.

02:14:21.000 But I'm always concerned.

02:14:22.000 Because I'm, look, and something like this pandemic sort of just highlights why I'm concerned.

02:14:29.000 Like, the world's crazy. 0.99

02:14:31.000 Fucking, the world is really crazy. 0.99

02:14:33.000 Anything can happen out there. 1.00

02:14:35.000 It's very strange.

02:14:36.000 Yeah.

02:14:37.000 You know, I mean, whether it's technology or pandemics or asteroid impacts or just death, just mortality, just getting old and dying.

02:14:46.000 Yeah.

02:14:46.000 The world is really weird.

02:14:48.000 You should be concerned. 0.98

02:14:51.000 Because there's a lot of shit going on that has nothing to do with you, that can affect you in an insane way, like what happened in Minneapolis, right? 0.99

02:14:59.000 Right. 1.00

02:14:59.000 I mean, if you were a person who had a building there, and all of a sudden your building's on fire because some fucking cop was a piece of shit, What do you do now? 1.00

02:15:09.000 Your whole life got changed overnight by something that had nothing to do with you. 1.00

02:15:14.000 That's the risk we run by being a human in society.

02:15:18.000 It's a risk we run.

02:15:20.000 And we also benefit from it, but that's also part of the thing.

02:15:23.000 Things are happening. 0.98

02:15:24.000 No one saw this pandemic coming in fucking October of last year. 0.99

02:15:28.000 No one thought that this time next year we'd all be sick of being locked down for over two months and everybody would be sick of all this shit and wanting to get back to work. 0.99

02:15:37.000 And as comics, it'd be the first time in our careers. 0.74

02:15:40.000 What is the longest time before this that you didn't do stand-up?

02:15:44.000 A while, yeah.

02:15:45.000 I took a longer break because I had to take care of my folks or whatever.

02:15:50.000 Oh, you did?

02:15:51.000 Yeah.

02:15:51.000 So you've done this already?

02:15:52.000 Yeah, and it doesn't feel good.

02:15:54.000 And you're still holding on for dear life, much like what we're doing now.

02:15:57.000 We're writing.

02:15:58.000 We're like, oh, this is cool.

02:15:59.000 Now there's online shows.

02:16:01.000 I've tried those, but they could never replace what stand-up is.

02:16:03.000 No.

02:16:04.000 I mean, I guess it's practice.

02:16:06.000 I guess it's practice.

02:16:07.000 But still, it's like we already got a taste of what it's like over there.

02:16:11.000 And we're like...

02:16:12.000 This is cool, but it's Splenda.

02:16:15.000 That's the real sugar over there. 0.95

02:16:17.000 It's a substitute that can never replace the real thing.

02:16:19.000 Do you think you'd be more appreciative when you get back to be able to do regular shows?

02:16:23.000 Yeah, I think so too.

02:16:25.000 And I think it sheds a certain level of Hey, what's up?

02:16:29.000 It's just like, hey, let's get to the real stuff because this is valuable time.

02:16:33.000 The only commodity in life that's worth anything is time.

02:16:37.000 So now it's like, hey, make it count.

02:16:39.000 I feel like I've always had a certain level of urgency in stand-up because I love it and trying to make a buck, I guess, to provide for my family.

02:16:49.000 But even now with the pandemic and to see how scarce and how fragile life is, it's like, this is what I want to do.

02:16:56.000 Yeah.

02:16:57.000 You know, and it's provided many of the great opportunities of my life to be able to take care of my folks.

02:17:03.000 That's awesome.

02:17:04.000 It's just, yeah, I'm going to go back and, yeah, I can't wait to go back.

02:17:09.000 It's like I miss it.

02:17:10.000 Of course.

02:17:11.000 I want to do a good job.

02:17:13.000 Yeah, it's also exciting for you, too, because this is a big break right after a set that you put out on Showtime, so you get a chance to really think about what you want to start talking about next.

02:17:25.000 It's like a rebirth, like a rebuilding, you know?

02:17:28.000 Yeah.

02:17:28.000 Those are dangerous times, but exciting.

02:17:31.000 Yeah.

02:17:32.000 And it's, you know, that spectrum is reflective of where I was leading up to it.

02:17:36.000 And, you know, moving forward, I want to show growth.

02:17:38.000 I mean, I don't want to be the same person and stagnant, a different style, you know, talk about more real stuff or, you know, whatever it is.

02:17:45.000 I just don't want it to be the same where it's predictable.

02:17:48.000 Yeah.

02:17:48.000 I don't want to do that.

02:17:50.000 I want to keep people guessing. 0.99

02:17:52.000 It's such an exciting fucking occupation. 0.99

02:17:55.000 Such an exciting art form. 1.00

02:17:56.000 It's so crazy.

02:17:57.000 Everything I could ever hope for, there's a direct line to it out of stand-up.

02:18:03.000 Working the store, working the parking lot, and parking cars, and going through the system there at the store.

02:18:10.000 Stand-up has...

02:18:12.000 It's given me a lot.

02:18:13.000 I mean, it's my therapy.

02:18:16.000 It's everything.

02:18:16.000 I feel like it sounds cheesy, but it's like the reason I'm alive is because of stand-up.

02:18:21.000 It's provided for me.

02:18:22.000 It's given me an outlet to talk about when things aren't going well.

02:18:25.000 I mean, what other job could I do that?

02:18:28.000 And actually enjoy it and have a fun time with other people having a good time.

02:18:35.000 Like part of the fun of stand-up is watching other people laugh at your stuff.

02:18:39.000 So you're like literally making them feel better.

02:18:41.000 You're affecting them.

02:18:43.000 And there's part of that that's like when you leave and everybody had a good time and they enjoy the show, it feels good.

02:18:48.000 Like, all right, you guys feel good.

02:18:49.000 All right.

02:18:50.000 And there's an adrenaline where it's like you can't go home and go to bed.

02:18:53.000 No way.

02:18:54.000 You're up till 2, 3 in the morning.

02:18:55.000 That's why it was generally...

02:18:57.000 I haven't written anything in the entire pandemic. 0.99

02:19:00.000 I haven't written shit. 0.99

02:19:00.000 No. 0.99

02:19:01.000 Well, I was going through all that Spotify stuff, so that was a little weird.

02:19:05.000 And then the pandemic hits, and I said, I think, because I'm not going to be able to do stand-up, I'm going to just chill.

02:19:12.000 I'm going to take care of my health, work out a lot, eat real good, make sure that I dot my I's and cross my T's.

02:19:18.000 But also, really...

02:19:20.000 Let this settle in.

02:19:21.000 If I'm going to talk about this in joke form, I want to know what I really think about it.

02:19:25.000 And my thinking of it changed.

02:19:27.000 I was real scared about it in the beginning, and then I'm not really at all anymore.

02:19:31.000 I'm more concerned with people's health.

02:19:34.000 I think the better message is not to be scared of a disease that kills such a small percentage of the population.

02:19:39.000 I think a better concern is to look at that small percentage of the population, no matter how tragic it is, look at that number and say, how do we decrease that number far further?

02:19:49.000 Can we do it with exercise and diet and nutrition?

02:19:51.000 And the answer is yes, but you don't hear that promoted.

02:19:54.000 You don't hear anything from our politicians about how to get that number lower other than stay away from each other, wear a mask, wash your hands.

02:20:03.000 Stay home.

02:20:03.000 Stay safe.

02:20:04.000 There's no talk of making the population healthier overall.

02:20:08.000 The governor should go on television or do a YouTube video or whatever with someone who's a bona fide nutrition expert, maybe some Rhonda Patrick-type character, who could sit down with them on TV and go, these are the strategies.

02:20:23.000 Right.

02:20:23.000 That we want to employ as a society to protect ourselves from any kind of disease.

02:20:29.000 And we're going to strengthen our immune system.

02:20:31.000 And here's the stats that we found.

02:20:33.000 Through improving your health and increasing your immune system and just increasing your cardiovascular activity and making a better diet for yourself.

02:20:41.000 We're going to drop our mortalities by 50% across the board.

02:20:46.000 So 50% of the people that would die if they kept doing what they're doing right now won't die.

02:20:50.000 If someone had some kind of stats like that, I just made that number up, but it's probably accurate, and then got on TV with a government, then that's real leadership.

02:20:58.000 Then you're really showing people something that can help them.

02:21:02.000 Not just saying, stay away, we'll tell you when you can get back your freedom, but right now you can't.

02:21:06.000 Tell people what to do to make them healthier. 0.91

02:21:10.000 If they're going to listen to you about staying home, you don't think they're going to listen to you about drinking water and stop drinking soda and eating sugar and eating bullshit? 0.56

02:21:18.000 You don't think they'd listen to you about that? 0.98

02:21:20.000 Right. 0.99

02:21:21.000 But they'll give up their fucking job for you and stay home and let their business go under? 1.00

02:21:25.000 Right. 1.00

02:21:26.000 It's interesting.

02:21:27.000 And I think it's telling of like the Western versus Eastern way of looking at medicine and health.

02:21:32.000 You know, it's like Eastern medicine, it's a very preventative approach to things.

02:21:36.000 And here it's more, let's attack the problem.

02:21:38.000 But now there's a codependency of medications or, you know, stuff like that.

02:21:42.000 I think this should be both, man.

02:21:44.000 I really do.

02:21:45.000 Yeah, mix them both.

02:21:46.000 Yeah.

02:21:47.000 For sure you should be preventative, but for sure you want the best surgeons, the best virologists, the best people that are making antibiotics.

02:21:54.000 You want people that know how to save lives, but you also want to know How to prevent your body from ever getting into a vulnerable position with things that aren't vulnerable for a lot of people.

02:22:04.000 It's not trying to shame people, like health shame them, but we know for a fact that some people catch this virus and it doesn't do anything to them.

02:22:11.000 And then other people get devastated by it.

02:22:13.000 How much of that's genetic?

02:22:15.000 How much of that is things that they can control?

02:22:16.000 So many variables.

02:22:17.000 There's a lot of variables, but we have some answers and they should be talking about that.

02:22:22.000 Yeah, and it's like too much of either one extreme is not good.

02:22:26.000 It's like trying to find the equilibrium point of, you know, Eastern and Western, like you said, good surgeons, but also like how do we prevent it?

02:22:32.000 Are we eating what we're supposed to, like you said, water, exercise?

02:22:35.000 And there's so many things, but I don't know.

02:22:37.000 It's a challenge, you know?

02:22:39.000 It is, but it's also why...

02:22:43.000 People don't get good programming from the people around them.

02:22:47.000 When you say someone's being programmed, it's not always bad.

02:22:51.000 Sometimes someone can program you just by virtue of living with them to develop more discipline, because you see it by example, and it makes you want to raise the bar.

02:22:58.000 It makes you want to do good yourself.

02:23:00.000 Sure.

02:23:00.000 And a lot of kids are getting programmed the opposite way.

02:23:03.000 They're getting programmed by slothful, lazy parents and their families full of shit. 1.00

02:23:08.000 They're liars and thieves and you're getting processed by that. 1.00

02:23:11.000 You're eating terrible. 1.00

02:23:12.000 Everybody eats terrible.

02:23:13.000 You're drinking beer every night.

02:23:14.000 Everybody drinks beer every night. 1.00

02:23:15.000 And you're just in a fucking real bad pattern. 0.99

02:23:18.000 You don't know anybody that you can model on. 0.98

02:23:20.000 Like, one of the things that we're lucky about with stand-ups is we get to see these other successful stand-ups come in and work out material.

02:23:27.000 You get to kind of...

02:23:28.000 I see what the landscape's like.

02:23:30.000 I kind of get a map of the territory.

02:23:32.000 There's a lot of people out there that don't have a map of the territory around them of a successful, healthy life.

02:23:38.000 They don't know what to do. 0.78

02:23:39.000 So they've been doing it their shitty way forever because everybody around them does it that way. 0.97

02:23:44.000 Well, they're conditioned. 0.96

02:23:45.000 I think that's, you know, the root of a lot of problems.

02:23:48.000 You know, it's like, you know, me growing up in East Long Beach, you know, as a kid in the early 90s, it's like, it was conditioning.

02:23:56.000 It's like, how does one follow a path of staying, you know, educating themselves, whether it's going to college or not?

02:24:03.000 Not saying that that's the correct way, but it's like, if you're never exposed to anything else and only a certain lifestyle, it's like you become conditioned and conditioned.

02:24:11.000 You know, this is the end-all, be-all.

02:24:13.000 It's like, no, you have to open your eyes, but you hope that the person has enough, you know, intelligence to, like, you know, what's over there, you know?

02:24:21.000 It's like, ask questions, you know?

02:24:23.000 But yeah, you gotta condition somebody.

02:24:26.000 Conditioning somebody could be bad, but also conditioning somebody to ask questions.

02:24:30.000 Well, even if someone's not conditioning you, just by providing an example of what's possible, providing inspiration, you can model after that person, and you can get a lot of shit done that you wouldn't ordinarily get done.

02:24:42.000 That's one of the beautiful things about the internet, that you can have these conversations with variants, like Kevin Hart, like the other day.

02:24:48.000 You know people listen to Kevin Hart talk and you just want to run through a building? 0.99

02:24:51.000 You listen to him talk like, I'm going to get shit done! 0.98

02:24:55.000 He's so motivational. 0.99

02:24:58.000 First of all, he's so successful.

02:25:00.000 And not just successful in one realm.

02:25:02.000 He's so successful in so many different realms.

02:25:04.000 And he's always hustling, always moving, always hustling, always moving.

02:25:20.000 Yes.

02:25:21.000 Are you spending time, you know, watching unboxing videos instead of, you know, some documentary or some reading, even an audiobook?

02:25:28.000 I mean, my goodness, now we could have any book here.

02:25:31.000 Yeah.

02:25:32.000 So it's like, it's also personal choice.

02:25:34.000 And sometimes it's like, hey, man, you can only help somebody that wants to be helped, essentially.

02:25:38.000 You know, it's like, if you want to be helped, there's resources, there's books.

02:25:42.000 I mean, the...

02:25:44.000 The LA County Libraries.

02:25:47.000 There's a plethora of resources.

02:25:49.000 You can get a GED. If you don't have one, you can do it online.

02:25:52.000 You can learn a language.

02:25:53.000 You can get access to magazines that someone might not afford it.

02:25:58.000 You know, it's like the stuff is there.

02:25:59.000 If you want it, you'll get it.

02:26:01.000 Yeah, it's true.

02:26:02.000 Someone's just got to kind of show you how to do it and show you it can be done or you see someone who is doing it.

02:26:07.000 You know, there's always like every neighborhood has this one guy who's kind of got his shit together, gets up early and goes jogging. 0.94

02:26:12.000 He's always reading books. 0.94

02:26:13.000 You know, like remember that growing up?

02:26:15.000 There was always like a guy who was disciplined.

02:26:17.000 You know, when I first kind of like tapped into that was in high school.

02:26:21.000 I went to Wilson High School and there was a program that came in.

02:26:25.000 It's called Cameo.

02:26:26.000 And it was, you know, retired women from the city of Long Beach that would come in and kind of mentor students. 1.00

02:26:31.000 And you would get an internship job, you know, at the end of that.

02:26:34.000 And I went through the program.

02:26:36.000 It was like 10th grade, 11th grade and senior year.

02:26:38.000 They would do that.

02:26:39.000 And I remember my first internship.

02:26:41.000 Now, they were exposing me to a world that I had no idea.

02:26:45.000 I didn't know how to tie a tie.

02:26:46.000 I didn't know if you weren't supposed to wear white socks when you wear a suit.

02:26:51.000 I didn't know none of that.

02:26:52.000 I didn't know where the placement of forks were because that wasn't something I needed to know.

02:26:57.000 What I knew how to do was how to work with my dad.

02:26:59.000 I knew how to fix a lawnmower.

02:27:03.000 I knew how to fix a weed whacker, take it apart.

02:27:06.000 It was a two-stroke motor.

02:27:08.000 I knew all of that.

02:27:10.000 But not putting white socks on when I wore a suit...

02:27:14.000 I wore the white socks, and it's like I'm learning how to tie a tie, but they exposed me to this other realm of being a professional and reading.

02:27:23.000 I remember they gave me the book of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

02:27:29.000 Yeah.

02:27:30.000 That's a starting point.

02:27:31.000 It's a great starting point.

02:27:51.000 When not around you and the way people think that people behave and talk when not around like He gives you a sense of things that are happening that you're not exposed to they don't have your presence doesn't affect them So you get to there's something about there's an observing effect that actually enhances your understanding of people by reading fiction This is I'm probably butchering this idea but I think that's the thought behind it is that there is something to fiction that kind of It benefits you in a way that regular nonfiction doesn't

02:28:21.000 necessarily do.

02:28:22.000 It's another layer of something, another layer of experiences, another layer of information.

02:28:29.000 How do you exercise creativity if you're not reading something that's so outlandish that wouldn't be real under gravity laws that govern this world? 0.96

02:28:40.000 Or even just scary shit like Stephen King stuff. 0.97

02:28:42.000 Yeah. 0.94

02:28:43.000 It changes your ideas of how you look at the world.

02:28:46.000 It changes your ideas of creativity, right?

02:28:49.000 Right, yeah.

02:28:50.000 It's a way of exercising it, expanding it, and find parameters that you didn't know existed and beyond that.

02:28:57.000 I mean, it's like the universe.

02:28:58.000 Creativity is like the universe.

02:28:59.000 It's never ending, ever expanding.

02:29:02.000 When you come up with a joke, do you ever get that feeling like, where is this coming from?

02:29:07.000 Where's this idea coming from?

02:29:08.000 All of a sudden you have this idea and you start laughing at yourself like, ah!

02:29:12.000 Where did that come from?

02:29:13.000 What is this thing that gets boiled down into comedy?

02:29:16.000 What is that thing?

02:29:18.000 Like, where does the mind go to access or tap into these premises of, you know, exploring it and finding...

02:29:23.000 I don't know.

02:29:24.000 It's like, you know, I think the mind has a...

02:29:28.000 We as humans, I feel like we have a very specific way of recognizing patterns.

02:29:33.000 We're people of patterns, you know, if we like to recognize it.

02:29:35.000 And it's almost oddly satisfying.

02:29:37.000 We see something, we're like, oh, okay, wait a minute.

02:29:39.000 I'm onto something.

02:29:40.000 Because we like the feeling, the endorphins we get when we figure something out.

02:29:43.000 Yeah.

02:29:43.000 So I think, you know, where do we come up with this joke?

02:29:46.000 I think it's a series of neurons firing and recognizing a certain pattern that seems correct.

02:29:52.000 You know, it's almost like rhyming something.

02:29:54.000 It's like, oh, you know, jump up.

02:29:58.000 It's like, oh, okay, okay, I see what this is going on.

02:30:00.000 You're creating something.

02:30:01.000 But in comedy, there's certain things that need to fire off and a certain sequence that feels fulfilling.

02:30:06.000 I don't know.

02:30:07.000 I know what you're saying.

02:30:08.000 Yeah.

02:30:09.000 And there's something fulfilling about watching someone do it, too.

02:30:11.000 When someone nails a sequence of words and puts it together with a fat punchline, boom!

02:30:17.000 Nothing better, man.

02:30:18.000 And you're watching in the back going, bah!

02:30:21.000 Oh, it's so exciting.

02:30:22.000 It's like watching someone dance.

02:30:24.000 It's watching someone pull off a pirouette and land on their feet perfect.

02:30:28.000 Watching a back handspring and a tuck just perfectly nailed.

02:30:32.000 There's something about it, man.

02:30:34.000 There's something about a person creating something.

02:30:37.000 Whatever it is, man.

02:30:38.000 Whether it's a book or a song or a joke.

02:30:41.000 It feels good, yeah.

02:30:42.000 And I think that it does, like, creativity in itself.

02:30:45.000 It's, like, such a wonderful thing because it keeps, like, depression and anxiety at bay because it's like there's something satisfying.

02:30:51.000 It's like we're hooked to completing a task.

02:30:54.000 We're hooked to, you know, seeing a premise thought out to completion.

02:30:58.000 Yeah.

02:30:59.000 Yeah.

02:31:00.000 There's all sorts of different kinds of depression, but for some people, there is definitely depression of being stagnant, which is one of the things that scares me the most about this pandemic, is mental health, people's mental health, being locked down for all these months, and especially, you know, I had Adam on the other day, Adam Egott.

02:31:14.000 Bro, he ain't going anywhere.

02:31:16.000 He's not around anybody.

02:31:17.000 He doesn't have a girlfriend, so he's just, like, stuck in his apartment by himself, getting weird.

02:31:22.000 Water rots when it doesn't move, you know?

02:31:25.000 So you gotta give it movement.

02:31:27.000 Also, we're all, especially as comics, we're all so social.

02:31:30.000 We have such a community there.

02:31:34.000 Everybody's so huggy and real friendly there.

02:31:36.000 Even the ones that say that they're anti-social, it's like there's still a level of socialness that you need as part of your concoction that you call life.

02:31:44.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:31:45.000 And I don't buy those people.

02:31:47.000 I just think they get easily annoyed.

02:31:48.000 I don't buy that they're really anti.

02:31:50.000 You have no patience.

02:31:50.000 Yeah, because if you were in solitary, man, you'd be begging for people.

02:31:54.000 No one's really a loner.

02:31:56.000 There's a reason that solitary confinement is a punishment for people.

02:32:00.000 Yes. 1.00

02:32:01.000 Ted Kaczynski was a real loner, but he was a fucking psychopath. 1.00

02:32:04.000 Like, you don't want to be that. 1.00

02:32:06.000 Like, the idea of just being fine forever by yourself.

02:32:10.000 That just means your time with people is so bad.

02:32:13.000 Loneliness feels better than being around people.

02:32:17.000 The loneliness, the thing that drives us crazy, for them, it's a relief of the pain that's stronger than loneliness that they feel when they're around people.

02:32:26.000 They're so...

02:32:27.000 There's a pain that they don't want to project.

02:32:29.000 There's like a psychological thing that they don't want to project the loneliness that they have onto somebody, but, you know, the mind is so clogged up that, you know, they can't see through that.

02:32:37.000 Yeah.

02:32:37.000 It's difficult.

02:32:38.000 Yeah, it's such a crazy...

02:32:40.000 But the comedy store is not.

02:32:41.000 I mean, it's so overwhelmingly friendly.

02:32:45.000 It's great.

02:32:46.000 It's really cool and very welcoming.

02:32:48.000 I mean, the saying that it takes a village to raise a kid. 1.00

02:32:54.000 I thought it was an idiot. 1.00

02:32:55.000 Does it take a village to raise an idiot? 1.00

02:32:57.000 Is that what it is? 1.00

02:32:58.000 Or every idiot has a village. 1.00

02:32:59.000 Or a funny idiot. 1.00

02:33:00.000 In this case, it takes a whole comedy store to raise a funny idiot. 1.00

02:33:04.000 No, you're right. 1.00

02:33:05.000 It is a village to raise a kid.

02:33:06.000 That is the expression. 1.00

02:33:07.000 But there's an idiot, village idiot expressions. 1.00

02:33:10.000 Whatever. 1.00

02:33:11.000 Whatever.

02:33:11.000 Sorry.

02:33:12.000 It's some marijuana talking.

02:33:15.000 Yeah.

02:33:16.000 You're right.

02:33:16.000 It takes a village to raise a kid and the comedy store is like a village that raises all of us.

02:33:21.000 Yeah.

02:33:22.000 Yeah.

02:33:22.000 And it's...

02:33:23.000 You know, I look at my short...

02:33:26.000 You know, time in comedy, you know, these 13 years, and it's been the people that I've met, the people that have given me opportunity, you know, and, you know, all these things that happen along the way to get to an hour special.

02:33:39.000 This is a dream come true, but it's like, this is not a lone wolf sport.

02:33:43.000 Nobody gets here just...

02:33:44.000 No, I did it.

02:33:45.000 It's like, hey, man, people get...

02:33:46.000 Took chances on you, gave you opportunities, stuck your neck out for you, maybe gave you an opportunity when you weren't ready.

02:33:52.000 And I got a lot of those along the way, and people taking you under their wing.

02:33:58.000 It's a culmination of that.

02:34:00.000 Yeah, and I think it's something that we all enjoy.

02:34:03.000 We all enjoy watching others come up.

02:34:06.000 We all enjoy working together.

02:34:07.000 The comics that are all very friendly and get along together so well, one of the things that I think we all share is this sense of camaraderie.

02:34:16.000 Everyone's happy when people are doing well.

02:34:18.000 Everyone's happy when someone puts out a new special.

02:34:21.000 Yeah.

02:34:22.000 Yeah, it's fun to watch.

02:34:25.000 And it's also fun to watch comics give unconditionally.

02:34:28.000 Like you said, happy to see somebody do well.

02:34:32.000 You've given opportunity to so many.

02:34:35.000 You're essentially the new Johnny Carson.

02:34:38.000 This is...

02:34:39.000 Spotify?

02:34:40.000 Come on.

02:34:41.000 Johnny Carson didn't get a Spotify deal like that.

02:34:43.000 There was no Spotify.

02:34:44.000 He would have definitely got it.

02:34:45.000 Well, that's my point.

02:34:46.000 But you know what I mean.

02:34:47.000 I know what you're saying.

02:34:48.000 You've created a platform where you co-sign people and you do it unconditionally.

02:34:53.000 I think that's very awesome to see.

02:34:56.000 Well, it's a beautiful benefit of this.

02:34:58.000 If there's people that you like that are nice people, you can blow them up.

02:35:02.000 You know, you can help them.

02:35:04.000 Give them a little push.

02:35:05.000 Let everybody else know why you like them. 0.99

02:35:08.000 You know, look, look, this guy's cool as fuck. 0.98

02:35:09.000 And you're paying it forward. 0.98

02:35:10.000 I'm sure people did that for you coming up, you know, coming up in Boston to, you know, coming out here in L.A. and doing your thing. 0.98

02:35:16.000 Definitely got some good advice from a lot of headliners and shit. 0.91

02:35:18.000 And all that stuff helps. 0.97

02:35:20.000 And one of them, Lenny Clark, I'm still friends with to this day.

02:35:23.000 I opened for him the second time I ever got paid.

02:35:26.000 He gave me a bunch of great advice.

02:35:28.000 And that was after Lenny was on HBO. And for me, I was like, I can't believe.

02:35:32.000 It was hard to imagine.

02:35:34.000 The goal back then was just to be a professional.

02:35:39.000 Just to somehow or another figure out a way to make money from comedy where I didn't need a day job.

02:35:43.000 That was the ultimate goal.

02:35:46.000 Did you put any money away before the pandemic?

02:35:50.000 Yeah, I always got into a groove of like trying to save a little bit.

02:35:54.000 It's not much, but it's like, you know, I learned that from my parents.

02:35:58.000 You know, my mom, she comes from a very big family.

02:36:01.000 And my mom would say that, you know, because they couldn't afford a lot of food and they had so many kids that every time they bought rice or beans or whatever it was, my grandmother would take a handful and just put it away.

02:36:13.000 She's like, we're able to make this.

02:36:14.000 It's like we never had it.

02:36:15.000 And before you knew it, it's like if some, if, you know, My grandfather did a job for somebody, you know, growing crop and they weren't able to pay them right away.

02:36:24.000 It's like, there was still something to get us by.

02:36:27.000 So it's always like, even when times are tough, that little fistful of grain will do you well in the future.

02:36:35.000 I bet there'll be a lot more of that from everybody now in terms of, like, don't live outside of your means.

02:36:41.000 Yeah, man.

02:36:42.000 Keep it more conservative.

02:36:44.000 Be more careful with what you spend your money on because, you know, all that stuff could come...

02:36:50.000 I mean, it's way better to have a storage of money and food where you could last a few months.

02:36:55.000 Yeah.

02:36:55.000 And that's what people are finding out now.

02:36:57.000 And again, yeah, it's like I found that out, the saving part, because it's like, you know, I got two parents.

02:37:04.000 I provide for my folks.

02:37:05.000 So it's like, it's not me.

02:37:07.000 It's not a very much just worrying about me.

02:37:09.000 I got to worry about, you know, my kids, essentially.

02:37:12.000 Yeah, no.

02:37:13.000 Well, isn't that beautiful that you do that too, man?

02:37:15.000 And it gives you an extra sense of purpose.

02:37:17.000 You know, you can't be lazy, man.

02:37:19.000 You have other people that count on you.

02:37:20.000 No, no.

02:37:21.000 My dad looking at me was like, what are you doing?

02:37:23.000 He's sleeping.

02:37:23.000 It's 8 a.m.

02:37:25.000 You're still sleeping?

02:37:26.000 He's like, no, I'm up early.

02:37:27.000 I go to bed late and I'm up early.

02:37:30.000 I run on very little sleep.

02:37:32.000 Yeah, that's beautiful.

02:37:34.000 When you have that sense and you can't be...

02:37:36.000 Don't you think that's the number one thing that fucks comics over is being lazy?

02:37:40.000 One of them.

02:37:41.000 It's definitely an element of it.

02:37:43.000 It stems there and it grows into something else.

02:37:45.000 And, you know, we're all guilty of it.

02:37:47.000 There's moments of, you know, you almost have to allow yourself to be lazy at times just to know what it's like, you know?

02:37:53.000 Well, there's a real argument for creativity being stirred on by boredom.

02:37:57.000 We never allow ourselves to be bored because we're always checking our phone.

02:38:02.000 I always trick myself into, well, I'm just going to go look through my Google News feed and I'll probably find something really incredible to talk about. 0.98

02:38:09.000 But most of the time, we're just staring at bullshit. 0.99

02:38:11.000 Most of the time. 1.00

02:38:13.000 But when you put that fucker away and you're just bored, That's when you start thinking about shit, when you're just bored. 1.00

02:38:20.000 Sometimes like when you're doing other things, like when you're commuting, I used to come up with some of my best jokes in my early stand-up years not listening to the radio. 1.00

02:38:28.000 I used to drive around and when I was driving around with no radio, no nothing, just driving, I would have some of my best ideas.

02:38:36.000 Because if I'm listening to fucking Paradise by the Dashboard Light, Ain't no doubt about it. 0.88

02:38:42.000 I'm thinking about that. 0.98

02:38:43.000 I'm not thinking about jokes.

02:38:44.000 My mind is occupied with the song.

02:38:47.000 My mind is occupied with the podcast I'm listening to or whatever.

02:38:50.000 But when you're just driving, just doing something, sometimes magical ideas are popping in your head.

02:38:57.000 Yeah.

02:38:58.000 Yeah.

02:39:00.000 Even sitting under a tree, and the wind's blowing, and you're just looking at the leaves.

02:39:04.000 Now cops will come over. 1.00

02:39:05.000 What the fuck are you doing, man? 1.00

02:39:07.000 Staring at little girls? 1.00

02:39:08.000 Yeah, shaved head, just sitting there, like, what are you doing?

02:39:10.000 Oh, man, I'm just thinking about, like, what do you think of this premise?

02:39:13.000 A hand behind your back.

02:39:15.000 It's like, dang it.

02:39:17.000 Yeah, if you were just sitting there watching people play in the field, somebody would probably come over and, you all right, man?

02:39:23.000 Can I help you with something?

02:39:24.000 Yeah.

02:39:25.000 Just...

02:39:27.000 Just watching, just watching people.

02:39:29.000 Yeah, even running, like running for a while was a big thing for me where I could just clear my mind and I'd have the worst pace ever of running, you know, but...

02:39:37.000 Just doing something.

02:39:38.000 Yeah, because the body was moving, so the blood's rushing, you know, so it's circulating.

02:39:42.000 It's almost like a, you know, like a neon light.

02:39:45.000 You know, sometimes when a neon light doesn't work, you have to move it around so the thing can move and circulate.

02:39:49.000 And that's when I would think of stuff.

02:39:51.000 A lot of comics, or a lot of writers, I'm sorry, would write and then go for a walk And then listen to their notes while they're walking.

02:39:58.000 Yeah, listen to a set too because it's easier to tag somebody than to think in the moment.

02:40:02.000 So you're tagging yourself.

02:40:03.000 Yes.

02:40:04.000 I found that to help me so much.

02:40:06.000 So much, dude.

02:40:07.000 So much.

02:40:07.000 There's no pressure in me just sitting at a coffee shop, you know, staring at my iced coffee, seeing the ice cubes melt and listening to my set.

02:40:14.000 I'm like, oh, you should have said this.

02:40:16.000 You know, you write that.

02:40:17.000 Yeah.

02:40:18.000 So that WeWorkplace, what is that like?

02:40:21.000 Is that like a bunch of cubicles?

02:40:22.000 Yeah.

02:40:22.000 There's like a common area, you know, and then they have like, you can pay like a bunch of money for like, the little cubicles that you like open and close and you know, you leave your stuff there.

02:40:33.000 But if you just pay for like the common area, it's like it's basically a Starbucks where you're not required to buy coffee.

02:40:39.000 And there's a lot of outlets.

02:40:41.000 I'm not going to fight some guy for an outlet.

02:40:43.000 Right.

02:40:44.000 He's charging his phone all day.

02:40:45.000 He's like, hey man, I got one I'm plugging my laptop.

02:40:47.000 He's like, oh, you know, that's happened.

02:40:49.000 Yeah, that definitely happens.

02:40:50.000 Starbucks gets minimized.

02:40:52.000 They don't have a lot.

02:40:53.000 And you can't charge your laptop on those wireless ports either.

02:40:57.000 No, you cannot.

02:40:58.000 You can put your phone on those.

02:40:59.000 I've tried.

02:41:00.000 I waited a long time.

02:41:02.000 But yeah, so you go there and they have these meeting rooms.

02:41:05.000 So it's like your pass allows you to get these meeting rooms.

02:41:08.000 How much does it cost to use one of those places?

02:41:11.000 Like $200.

02:41:12.000 For how long?

02:41:13.000 What do you mean?

02:41:14.000 Like a month?

02:41:16.000 Oh, okay.

02:41:17.000 Yeah.

02:41:17.000 Oh, that's not bad.

02:41:18.000 Yeah, some of them go up to like $300, but it's like the whole month.

02:41:21.000 I thought it was like $200 for a day.

02:41:22.000 Like, that's crazy.

02:41:23.000 No, no, no.

02:41:24.000 That seems like a lot of money.

02:41:25.000 Yeah, like two-something.

02:41:26.000 But it's like, you know, you get coffee there.

02:41:28.000 They have coffee?

02:41:29.000 Yeah, free coffee or beer, some of them.

02:41:32.000 Beer?

02:41:32.000 You're getting drunk?

02:41:33.000 Oh, man.

02:41:35.000 WeWork.

02:41:36.000 I don't know.

02:41:37.000 It's a good place for me to go work, and I'm not being stared at by the barista who's like, hey, are you going to buy coffee or not?

02:41:43.000 I know that's the coffee cup you bought last week.

02:41:46.000 I'm like, dang it.

02:41:48.000 Some people really do enjoy working around groups of people, too.

02:41:51.000 They feel like they get charged up.

02:41:52.000 Do you do that?

02:41:53.000 Yes, and that's why I don't ever see myself living in the countryside.

02:41:58.000 I need to be around people.

02:42:00.000 I get energized.

02:42:01.000 For me, it's like looking at people walk by.

02:42:04.000 Just people watching, it's meditative.

02:42:07.000 New York, if I could, I would pick up and go there and live.

02:42:11.000 I just love the busyness of a city.

02:42:13.000 Even now, with the COVID? It's probably cheaper the way I look at it.

02:42:16.000 Dude, I like how you think.

02:42:18.000 I'll take one of those bird masks with me.

02:42:20.000 Yeah.

02:42:21.000 All right.

02:42:21.000 Well, Jesus, tomorrow night, the day this comes out, it'll actually be tonight, 6 p.m.

02:42:27.000 Pacific, 9 p.m.

02:42:28.000 Eastern.

02:42:30.000 Stay home, son.

02:42:31.000 Is that what it's called?

02:42:31.000 Stay at home, son.

02:42:32.000 Stay at home, son.

02:42:33.000 Stay at home, son.

02:42:33.000 On Showtime.

02:42:34.000 Thank you, my brother.

02:42:35.000 Thank you so much.

02:42:36.000 This means a lot.

02:42:37.000 Thank you so much.

02:42:37.000 Thank you, man.

02:42:38.000 My pleasure.

02:42:39.000 Ooh, we just touched.

02:42:39.000 Did you see that?

02:42:40.000 We're crazy.

02:42:42.000 Hand sanitizer.

02:42:43.000 Love you, buddy.

02:42:44.000 Bye.

02:42:44.000 Thanks.

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 29, 2020

Joe Rogan Experience #1483 - Jesus Trejo

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