The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1524 - Ron Funches

00:00:03.000 Hello, Ron.

00:00:04.000 Hello, Joe.

00:00:05.000 How are you?

00:00:05.000 I'm good, man.

00:00:06.000 You are good.

00:00:06.000 You got double water bottles.

00:00:08.000 One water, one protein shake.

00:00:10.000 Oh. 0.99

00:00:11.000 You're not fucking around. 0.99

00:00:12.000 No, I knew, you know, last time I wasn't aware how long I would be here. 0.99

00:00:15.000 Now I'm prepared.

00:00:17.000 I'm going to settle in.

00:00:17.000 I'm not going to be hungry.

00:00:18.000 My wife got me all set up.

00:00:20.000 Nice.

00:00:21.000 Water, protein shake.

00:00:21.000 Make sure that your blood sugar doesn't drop.

00:00:24.000 Maintain energy levels.

00:00:25.000 You are a man who has done one of the most difficult things a person can do.

00:00:29.000 You lost a ton of weight.

00:00:31.000 Yeah, and then maintain.

00:00:33.000 That's the harder.

00:00:34.000 Right, that's the hard part.

00:00:35.000 Yeah.

00:00:35.000 Yeah, the momentum of losing the weight is good, but most people, they get to a point and they want to take a break.

00:00:41.000 And then once they take a break, then it all slides.

00:00:43.000 Yeah, it's a bit of both.

00:00:45.000 Sometimes I want to take a break, but then I want to get to that next level.

00:00:48.000 So then I get back on it.

00:00:50.000 Well, we were talking about Gucci Mane before we started the podcast.

00:00:53.000 Gucci is the guy who's done that.

00:00:54.000 Yes. 0.97

00:00:55.000 He's maintained and looks fucking amazing. 0.98

00:00:57.000 He took it to the next level. 0.83

00:00:58.000 He was a big fella at one point in time when he had Burr tattooed on his face.

00:01:02.000 The ice cream cone.

00:01:03.000 Yeah.

00:01:04.000 And now he's shredded.

00:01:06.000 Yeah.

00:01:07.000 He got rid of that ice cream.

00:01:10.000 Well, you were saying it was lean, right?

00:01:12.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:01:13.000 Yeah, Codeine will put a lot of weight on him.

00:01:15.000 Look at the difference, man.

00:01:16.000 That is crazy.

00:01:17.000 Well, he wasn't too fat in the other one.

00:01:18.000 Yeah, that's kind of like him mid-losing weight in that one.

00:01:22.000 You can find some real chunky pics of him.

00:01:26.000 Yeah, he got thick.

00:01:28.000 And now it's shredded.

00:01:30.000 Yeah, me and my wife all the time.

00:01:33.000 We look at him and his wife, the pictures they take, what they do, and I'm like, I want to head in that direction.

00:01:38.000 What do you do for working out?

00:01:40.000 I have my trainer about three days a week, sometimes two days a week, and then on top of that, and we'll do, you know, just different circuits, back, chest.

00:01:48.000 You know, whatever, whatever.

00:01:50.000 Legs.

00:01:50.000 And then the other days, I'm always just trying to make sure I hit the treadmill twice a day for two miles on an incline.

00:01:56.000 Twice a day?

00:01:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:01:57.000 Really?

00:01:58.000 You do it twice a day?

00:01:59.000 Yeah, in the morning and night.

00:01:59.000 I don't do much otherwise.

00:02:01.000 So, you know, especially now, a lot of my stuff is sitting in front of a computer, podcasting, playing games on Twitch, and stuff like that.

00:02:09.000 So I feel like, oh, if I'm going to sit that long, I've got to start the day, treadmill, end the day, treadmill.

00:02:15.000 That's discipline.

00:02:16.000 I like that.

00:02:17.000 It is. 1.00

00:02:18.000 I fucking hate it. 0.99

00:02:19.000 So it definitely is discipline. 0.99

00:02:22.000 But you like the results.

00:02:23.000 Yeah.

00:02:24.000 I like how I feel.

00:02:24.000 I like the compliments.

00:02:25.000 You know, I was just doing this thing the other day and Jake Johnson, the guy from New Girl, I'm in a cartoon with him.

00:02:31.000 And like, that's like, you know, he's like a leading man, dream boaty guy.

00:02:35.000 And he's looking at me. 0.94

00:02:35.000 He's like, man, he's like, you're looking fucking good, man. 0.94

00:02:37.000 You got your shit together. 1.00

00:02:38.000 You look like you're about to lead your own show. 1.00

00:02:40.000 And I hear shit like that. 0.99

00:02:41.000 And I'm like, OK, I better get on that treadmill again. 1.00

00:02:44.000 Yeah.

00:02:45.000 Yeah, that helps, right?

00:02:47.000 It really does.

00:02:47.000 Yeah, the positive feedback and positive energy.

00:02:50.000 That's one thing that I like about what you do.

00:02:52.000 You are very positive.

00:02:54.000 You're very warm and friendly. 0.99

00:02:56.000 All the shit that you do online, you're all smiley and positive and friendly. 0.99

00:03:02.000 It's cool. 0.99

00:03:02.000 It gives off a good vibe. 0.99

00:03:04.000 When I look at your Instagram posts or read something that you post, it's like...

00:03:09.000 Ron is on the good path.

00:03:10.000 Yeah, I try to, you know, because it's just it's so easy to go the other way.

00:03:14.000 And you caught up in what other people are doing and what you think you should be doing, which I battle all of that, too.

00:03:21.000 So I don't ever try to act like, oh, I'm just like, oh, everything's great. 0.99

00:03:25.000 It's like, of course, I go through shit all the time. 0.90

00:03:27.000 But like, I think I choose to support my friends. 0.99

00:03:30.000 I choose to support...

00:03:32.000 Positive things because that's what I can control and that's to me fighting against that negative as opposed to like just joining everybody in the fray.

00:03:42.000 Yeah, what do you mean by, like, how do you feel?

00:03:43.000 Like, when you say, like, you feel that too?

00:03:46.000 Like, you feel the draw to the negative?

00:03:48.000 Oh, I mean, because we all, like, you know, we just want things, you know?

00:03:53.000 So, I wanted a Netflix special.

00:03:56.000 I want to be a lead in a show.

00:03:58.000 I want my own show, you know?

00:03:59.000 And I already do a lot of great things, but, and that's why I have to balance it all, because I'm like, oh man, I'm in such a great position.

00:04:05.000 I I do so many wonderful things.

00:04:07.000 What always helps me, actually, is talking to people like you or talking to people like Bert, talking to any comedian that's been doing it like 20 years plus when I'm at like 14 now. 0.98

00:04:18.000 And when I talk to them and then they are like, oh, hold on, slow the fuck down, man. 0.95

00:04:23.000 Like... 0.99

00:04:23.000 You look at where you are and what you're doing for how long you've been doing it. 0.99

00:04:27.000 You're fucking aces, man. 1.00

00:04:28.000 So chill the fuck out and play it out. 1.00

00:04:31.000 Don't freak out. 0.94

00:04:32.000 And that always, you know, having faith, that always helps me out.

00:04:35.000 Well, we're all stalled right now.

00:04:37.000 Yeah.

00:04:38.000 Unfortunately, because we can't work.

00:04:39.000 But stand-up is a long haul.

00:04:43.000 Like, at 10 years, people start taking you seriously.

00:04:46.000 You know, if you're really precocious, people start looking at you at 7. Like, damn, this motherfucker's good. 1.00

00:04:50.000 But at 10 years, they go, okay, that guy's a pro. 1.00

00:04:53.000 Or she's really got it.

00:04:55.000 She's legit.

00:04:55.000 10 years, usually.

00:04:57.000 So 14, man, you're cooking.

00:05:00.000 You know?

00:05:00.000 14, you got things happening.

00:05:02.000 You know?

00:05:02.000 You're putting together, like, real sets.

00:05:04.000 You get off stage, you're like, damn, that was legit. 0.98

00:05:08.000 That was legit. 0.99

00:05:10.000 It's a long road to get good at stand-up.

00:05:13.000 You know?

00:05:13.000 It's like that ACDC song.

00:05:15.000 It's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll.

00:05:18.000 Ha ha! 0.86

00:05:18.000 I was on stage or not about to go on stage rather at the improv once and there was this lady who was on stage and she you could tell she's real recent and she was just eating it just eating shit up there and me and the DJ were just like and I just looked at him I go it's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll And then the DJ played that song as I went on stage. 0.86

00:05:45.000 It's a long way to the top.

00:05:47.000 It is, man. 0.99

00:05:48.000 It's a fucking long way. 0.98

00:05:49.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:05:50.000 And I agree.

00:05:51.000 And that's why I had to change my mindset very early.

00:05:54.000 Because I came from not having money, not having anything, and having my son really early.

00:05:59.000 And so I was like, I need him.

00:06:00.000 Make it! 0.97

00:06:01.000 I need to do this.

00:06:02.000 And then, like, I remember I got on Conan the first time, and they were like, oh, what are you promoting?

00:06:07.000 You've got to promote something, you know, when we introduce you.

00:06:10.000 And the only thing I had to promote was an open mic that I was doing in Portland the next day.

00:06:14.000 You know?

00:06:15.000 And I was just like, this is always going to be a part of this.

00:06:18.000 This is always going to be here.

00:06:20.000 There will be highs, and then there will be another day.

00:06:23.000 And so I've got to learn to not...

00:06:26.000 You know fear that next day and just be like this is I mean, this is just my life And that's what helps me through all of this quarantine stuff.

00:06:32.000 That's why I'm back doing weird zoom shows I'm doing my own live stream show September 5th and people adapt.

00:06:37.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:06:38.000 Yeah, exactly Yeah, the best at it so far I've seen is Andrew Schultz Andrew Schultz has adapted the best because he's really figured out a whole new kind of a format He's figured out how to do these 10-minute chunks on a particular subject.

00:06:51.000 Like rapid fire with images behind him and his style of comedy.

00:06:55.000 I've been calling it a quarantine comedy.

00:06:57.000 Because there's no one in the room but him.

00:07:00.000 And it's high production value.

00:07:02.000 And it's without network notes.

00:07:04.000 And it's him being able to distill his voice without anybody telling him what to do.

00:07:10.000 So then when you watch it compared to...

00:07:12.000 Things you're seeing on TV, which now, because they're forced to scale back, start looking very similar. 0.98

00:07:18.000 You're like, why the fuck would I watch this? 0.98

00:07:20.000 He's so much more fun. 0.99

00:07:23.000 Schultz is so much funnier than those guys. 0.99

00:07:25.000 Those guys are forced to do TV kind of comedy for the internet, and that shit is not good enough. 0.98

00:07:31.000 TV kind of comedy is okay if you have TV kind of restrictions. 0.97

00:07:35.000 Those restrictions that they have for language and content, then you can get away with it.

00:07:39.000 But if you're forced to compete in that internet realm, the internet is wild, man.

00:07:46.000 Yeah, it's the wild west. 0.99

00:07:47.000 It's a fucking full-on wild west. 1.00

00:07:50.000 This show, you can never do this fucking show. 1.00

00:07:52.000 No one will ever allow me to do this show anywhere else. 0.99

00:07:54.000 The only way it would have ever worked is to have no one telling you what to do.

00:07:58.000 The thing about those feelings that you get when you see other people doing stuff and good things happen to them, you're like, I want that, I want that.

00:08:06.000 That's fuel, man.

00:08:07.000 That's the key is how you harness that fuel.

00:08:10.000 You can pour it all over yourself and light yourself on fire, which a lot of people do.

00:08:16.000 Yeah, we see it all the time.

00:08:17.000 All the time.

00:08:18.000 Or you can just go, I'm going to work harder. 0.77

00:08:21.000 I'm going to fucking just buckle down, I'm going to stay focused, and I'm going to somehow or another be my best self, be the best version. 0.78

00:08:31.000 Yeah, I never denied jealousy. 0.97

00:08:33.000 To me, that's just lying to people when you say, oh, I don't get jealous.

00:08:38.000 When I was a very young comic, I would read Patton Oswalt's The Spew, and I think he wrote something.

00:08:46.000 He wrote, jealousy is a map of where you want to be. 0.93

00:08:48.000 And I was like, oh, if I just look at it like that, that's a lot easier for me to swallow.

00:08:53.000 That's a wise way of looking at it.

00:08:54.000 Yeah.

00:08:56.000 One thing that for me when I first started doing stand-up, I was real jealous.

00:09:00.000 And I also didn't like comedy anymore.

00:09:05.000 I didn't like other people's comedy because I would be jealous.

00:09:07.000 Like I would watch someone kill and I'd go, oh, why didn't I come up with that joke?

00:09:10.000 Oh, my God, he's so much better than me. 1.00

00:09:12.000 Oh, my God, he's killing shit. 1.00

00:09:14.000 I want to be like that. 1.00

00:09:15.000 And then I realized, like, oh, my God, I've stopped enjoying comedy.

00:09:19.000 And now I'm not a fan anymore.

00:09:21.000 And one of the things that switched with me is I realized that I had a very weak...

00:09:27.000 perspective on it.

00:09:28.000 Instead of being inspired, instead of being energized, I was wishing that they would do badly, which is a real common thing.

00:09:37.000 You see someone who's doing much better than you, and you actually hope they fail.

00:09:41.000 Yeah.

00:09:42.000 Well, you see, a lot of people, once you see them start succeeding a bit, I've noticed in general, you stop seeing people champion them.

00:09:49.000 They stop.

00:09:50.000 They're like, oh, well, you've made it as far as I wanted you to.

00:09:53.000 So, They call you a sellout.

00:09:58.000 But I love being inspired.

00:10:00.000 That I've never had.

00:10:01.000 I've always been inspired by comedy.

00:10:04.000 I've always loved comedy.

00:10:06.000 Sure, there's comedy I love more than others, but I've always learned to go like, well, that's not for me.

00:10:10.000 You know, I respect their craft.

00:10:12.000 I respect the way they put that together, but that was not for me.

00:10:16.000 But I always looked at it like rap, where it's like, man, you look at like the old Death Row Records, or then they always were sharpening each other by how good each individual was. 0.97

00:10:25.000 And I look at comedy the same way, where it's like, oh, if I see an amazing set, I'm not like trying to steal that joke or trying to that, but I'm going like, oh, fuck, I got to raise my game. 0.97

00:10:35.000 Yeah. 0.66

00:10:35.000 Well, that was one of the best things that we had at the store. 0.66

00:10:37.000 Absolutely.

00:10:38.000 We were all working together.

00:10:39.000 And, you know, we'd have a show on. 0.97

00:10:41.000 It'd be you and me and Burr and, you know, and Eliza and Whitney and fucking Ali Wong and bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. 0.98

00:10:49.000 These shows were fire! 0.97

00:10:50.000 It was just...

00:10:51.000 And you had to warm up in the back.

00:10:53.000 I'd be in the back. 0.99

00:10:54.000 I'd be jumping up and down on cushions and shit and shadowboxing and touching my toes and... 0.99

00:10:59.000 Taking deep breaths, and you gotta get your body charged up. 0.99

00:11:04.000 I miss that.

00:11:05.000 I miss that a lot.

00:11:06.000 I miss that feeling of being in the main room, green room, getting ready to go on.

00:11:11.000 And just the hang, man.

00:11:13.000 I miss the hang.

00:11:14.000 Oh, truly.

00:11:14.000 For me especially, because I was still always looking at it as like, oh, I'm the young guy on the total pole here, and it's cool that...

00:11:22.000 It's one thing, the original room is awesome, but when you're on these main room shows, you know, like, oh, they're putting me on here because they also think I'm a part of a draw. 0.93

00:11:31.000 And so be on that wit, you guys, but being younger in the game than you guys and being like, oh, fuck, I have to follow Ali, Joe, Joey Diaz, you know, Whitney.

00:11:42.000 I have to follow them all and then I don't have the credits. 0.96

00:11:46.000 That these people are going to care about.

00:11:48.000 It was the thing I've learned to crave. 0.96

00:11:50.000 Because when I got them, I was like, they are on my side because I'm fucking good. 0.96

00:11:56.000 They don't know anything else. 0.83

00:11:57.000 They don't know what I've done.

00:11:58.000 They have now figured out I'm good.

00:12:01.000 And that I miss so much.

00:12:04.000 I was there once and I brought you up and you said something along the lines of, Joe reminds me of that teacher that got arrested for having sex with a senior or something.

00:12:18.000 He's like that cool teacher that you find out.

00:12:20.000 He tells you all the cool stuff.

00:12:22.000 He tells you how the real world works and then you find out he was having a relationship with The teachers ate.

00:12:30.000 I was crying.

00:12:31.000 I was crying.

00:12:32.000 But it's like those kind of moments, man.

00:12:35.000 It's like the camaraderie of the store.

00:12:38.000 One of the best things about the quarantine is being able to do this podcast and have guys like you on and have all of our friends come here and just sit down and just at least spend time together.

00:12:49.000 Yeah.

00:12:49.000 And have some fun, and talk, because I miss that so much, man.

00:12:53.000 You know, look, I love my regular friends, and I love my family, I love my neighbors, but they're not comics.

00:13:01.000 They're not, man! 0.95

00:13:03.000 It's fucking different, you know? 0.97

00:13:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:13:06.000 My wife is funny as shit. 1.00

00:13:08.000 She's funny. 1.00

00:13:08.000 She says mean shit to me, like, to be funny, like funny shit. 1.00

00:13:11.000 Makes fun of me. 1.00

00:13:12.000 It's fun.

00:13:13.000 It's like we have a good time.

00:13:15.000 But comics are a different animal, man.

00:13:17.000 You know? 1.00

00:13:18.000 And if you're not around them for a while, you go, fuck. 1.00

00:13:22.000 I wish I could just have someone who just wants to fuck around and talk shit. 1.00

00:13:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:13:26.000 Just have some fun. 1.00

00:13:27.000 Yeah.

00:13:28.000 Yeah.

00:13:28.000 Someone who's not getting their feeling hurt.

00:13:30.000 God, everyone's so goddamn sensitive. 0.98

00:13:33.000 You know? 0.99

00:13:34.000 Make fun of me, please.

00:13:37.000 Please.

00:13:38.000 You know? 1.00

00:13:39.000 Let's talk some shit. 0.99

00:13:41.000 Yeah, no, that is what I miss the most, is just being in the back, seeing my friends, and those are things we took for granted so much as well, because I'd just be like, alright, well, I'll see you tomorrow, and now I don't see nobody ever. 0.99

00:13:55.000 When we were shutting down in March, and I was thinking, like, you know what, man, I'm just gonna buckle down, work out a lot, write. 0.88

00:14:01.000 You know, come June, whenever the fuck this is over, I'll come back guns blazing.

00:14:06.000 You know, and then when I realized that there was going to be a second lockdown, and then there was going to be no return, and here we are in August, and there's no sight. 0.97

00:14:14.000 It's not going to happen.

00:14:15.000 It's not going to happen until 2021. There's no way.

00:14:19.000 I was like, fuck. 1.00

00:14:21.000 Like, this is terrible. 1.00

00:14:27.000 Mm-hmm.

00:14:42.000 Treat it like I'm in a short-term prison sentence and just work out and get my GED and just get it all together.

00:14:50.000 Become a lawyer.

00:14:51.000 Yeah.

00:14:53.000 Go over my case.

00:14:55.000 Yeah.

00:14:56.000 And then, yeah, same thing.

00:14:57.000 That second lockdown happened and something happened in my brain where I was like, okay, I'm going to have to just...

00:15:02.000 Because before I was like, oh, no Zoom shows, nothing like that.

00:15:04.000 I don't like how it's fucking with my rhythm.

00:15:06.000 I don't like how I'm not getting feedback...

00:15:09.000 But after that, I was like, you know, I just kind of have to adapt and go with the flow and hope things change and know that things change in time no matter what.

00:15:18.000 But if this is how it is, I got to stop fighting it and start just like, you know, finding my lane in it.

00:15:25.000 So, you know, I'm just trying to do that now.

00:15:29.000 Yeah.

00:15:30.000 You have a podcast, luckily.

00:15:32.000 I felt bad for dudes who didn't.

00:15:34.000 Yes.

00:15:34.000 For the folks, the guys and the gals that didn't have podcasts, I was like, ooh, you got no way to keep in touch with people.

00:15:41.000 Yeah.

00:15:42.000 I mean, and that was exactly the reason why I started my podcast, because I was like, oh, I'm like... 0.98

00:15:47.000 Everything I'm doing is a guest in other people's shit. 0.98

00:15:49.000 I'm a guest in everyone else's home. 0.99

00:15:51.000 And I don't have a home for people to come hang out with me.

00:15:55.000 And so I've been thinking that for a long time.

00:15:57.000 And that's the reason why I started my podcast.

00:15:59.000 And when all this stuff happened, I was very happy...

00:16:04.000 Because I've always been in two minds when it comes to comedy.

00:16:06.000 I love specialists.

00:16:07.000 I love people who are just like, I do stand-up, straight stand-up. 0.98

00:16:10.000 I'm going to be the best fucking stand-up in the world. 0.94

00:16:12.000 Like, I love being that competitive. 0.98

00:16:14.000 But I also have this part of me that's just like, I love new challenges of all types.

00:16:18.000 And so I got into voice acting, regular acting, all that stuff. 0.99

00:16:21.000 And when this synth came down, I was like, oh, fuck. 0.99

00:16:23.000 Actually, you know, just like in business, it is good to diversify. 0.99

00:16:27.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:16:27.000 Because voice acting is saving my fucking life right now. 0.97

00:16:31.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.98

00:16:32.000 As a person in show business, you must have as many forms of revenue as you can.

00:16:39.000 And you have to save for a rainy day.

00:16:41.000 You have to do those two things.

00:16:42.000 I've been real lucky that I have weird taste. 0.99

00:16:45.000 I'm into weird shit. 0.99

00:16:46.000 So I have, you know, cage fighting commentary. 0.99

00:16:48.000 And then I also have the podcast.

00:16:50.000 And I also have this stand-up thing, which is just on hold.

00:16:56.000 Indefinitely.

00:16:58.000 You could do it right now.

00:16:59.000 Have you thought about doing one of those drive-in movie shows?

00:17:03.000 I talked to a bird about it.

00:17:04.000 He made it sound interesting.

00:17:06.000 He loves it.

00:17:06.000 The way he sells it made it sound fun.

00:17:09.000 You gotta realize he's drunk, though.

00:17:11.000 Yeah, I do.

00:17:15.000 I do realize that.

00:17:18.000 He's like, horns!

00:17:19.000 Yeah!

00:17:20.000 He likes horns and people high-beaming him.

00:17:23.000 I'm like, what?

00:17:24.000 Mike, explain.

00:17:25.000 He's like, dude, it's like a UFO! I'm actually, I've been talking with Chris Titus, because he has his own little production studio.

00:17:32.000 I shouldn't call it Little, because he has his own production studio. 0.98

00:17:34.000 I don't have no fucking production studio.

00:17:36.000 He has his own big-ass production studio, and he's been shooting his own specials, and he's doing a reunion of the Titus show through it, and so I reached out to him, and I'm going to do a live stream show where we'll have 10 people in the audience, and then we'll be live streaming it out on YouTube on September 5th, 0.97

00:17:53.000 if people want to get RonFunches.com.

00:17:55.000 Don't stop my promo, Joe!

00:17:57.000 Sorry, sorry, sorry.

00:17:58.000 RonFunches.com.

00:17:59.000 So there's 10 people in the audience.

00:18:01.000 Yeah.

00:18:02.000 So do you test those folks?

00:18:03.000 Yeah.

00:18:04.000 How do you do it?

00:18:04.000 Yeah.

00:18:05.000 Well, you know, there'll be, not like you, where I took the full test, but it'll be temperature checks and waivers, and they'll be wearing masks.

00:18:13.000 They'll be wearing masks, and they'll be socially distanced, yeah.

00:18:16.000 It can be done, man.

00:18:17.000 Texas is doing that with restaurants. 0.94

00:18:19.000 You can go to a restaurant in Texas.

00:18:20.000 Everybody wears a mask.

00:18:21.000 Simple.

00:18:22.000 They space the tables out.

00:18:23.000 Everybody wears a mask.

00:18:24.000 Good ventilation.

00:18:25.000 Server wears a mask.

00:18:26.000 And they're not having any problems.

00:18:28.000 There are draconian laws they've instituted in California.

00:18:32.000 This is the only state where you can't go to the barbershop.

00:18:34.000 Do you know that?

00:18:35.000 I did not know that. 0.99

00:18:36.000 Every other fucking state in the entire union, you can go to a barbershop. 0.99

00:18:39.000 You can go to a hairdresser. 0.98

00:18:39.000 You can get your hair done. 0.98

00:18:40.000 I don't have an issue with that. 1.00

00:18:42.000 Obviously, I'm bald as fuck. 0.99

00:18:44.000 I just think it's crazy. 0.99

00:18:45.000 The restrictions that the states put on businesses, it's forcing people to flee.

00:18:50.000 That's part of what's going on here.

00:18:52.000 That's one reason you're leaving?

00:18:53.000 Yeah, I just think there's too many folks here, too.

00:18:56.000 I think as I get older, I realize there's drawbacks to high population areas.

00:19:05.000 There's tension in high population areas.

00:19:07.000 And when things go south, when natural disasters or what we're dealing with with COVID, things along those lines, It's just a bad place to be, man.

00:19:17.000 It's just not safe.

00:19:18.000 It's not healthy.

00:19:19.000 It's not wise.

00:19:20.000 Like, I like calmer.

00:19:22.000 I like a little calmer.

00:19:23.000 Because my problem is not getting up for things.

00:19:27.000 Like, I have a friend who lives in New York City, and he loves it because, like, oh, I love the energy of the city.

00:19:31.000 Everything's happening, moving.

00:19:33.000 I'm like, I don't need that.

00:19:34.000 I got a lot of energy.

00:19:35.000 I need chill.

00:19:36.000 I need downtime.

00:19:37.000 I need a place where I can...

00:19:40.000 You need space.

00:19:41.000 You need a fortress of solitude.

00:19:43.000 I need relaxation.

00:19:44.000 I need a balance. 0.98

00:19:45.000 And whenever I'd go to places that were more rural, there was like nature and trees and shit, I always feel better. 0.96

00:19:50.000 I understand that. 0.85

00:19:51.000 I mean, that's one of the reasons why I like where I live in the Valley.

00:19:55.000 I've always been outside.

00:19:57.000 When I started comedy, I started comedy in Portland, Oregon, but I lived in Salem, Oregon, and I would just make that 45-minute drive because I did like going into a thing, doing my job, and then leaving that there, coming back home.

00:20:10.000 Yeah, that's how I always felt about Hollywood.

00:20:12.000 I lived in North Hollywood when I first got here, and I just kept moving further out.

00:20:16.000 Then I moved to Encino, and I'm like, I gotta go further out.

00:20:18.000 Then I went way out.

00:20:19.000 Yeah, man.

00:20:21.000 That is true. 0.99

00:20:22.000 This lifestyle is so weird if it will get you so wrapped up in other people's information and partying and doing shit. 0.90

00:20:31.000 That's one of the reasons I love. 0.98

00:20:33.000 I got my little small-town Canadian wife and my son who...

00:20:38.000 That's who's been my balance the whole time is that I started comedy.

00:20:41.000 My son was already three years old.

00:20:42.000 So he, one, was like, you need to be feeding me with this. 0.99

00:20:46.000 And B, I don't give a shit about your jokes or hanging out at all. 0.98

00:20:49.000 So, you know, I would like to be here and have you hanging out with me. 0.99

00:20:53.000 So that's always, I think that's one of the reasons I've been able to be as successful as I am is that I was like, I don't give a fuck about hanging. 0.98

00:21:00.000 I don't give a fuck about And there's a lot of fear that comes to that, right? 0.97

00:21:04.000 Because people are always like, oh, I want to be part of the group. 0.99

00:21:05.000 I want to be part of the clique.

00:21:06.000 And if I'm not hanging, I'm not part of the clique. 0.98

00:21:08.000 And I was just like, well, they'll know I'm fucking good at comedy. 0.95

00:21:10.000 And they'll like me from that. 0.96

00:21:12.000 You've never had a problem with that.

00:21:13.000 No, man.

00:21:14.000 That's one of the things about the store.

00:21:15.000 It's a real meritocracy.

00:21:17.000 You'll hear people say, like, oh, you know, like, there's cliques there and they don't accept you. 1.00

00:21:22.000 I think that's horse shit. 1.00

00:21:24.000 If you're funny, nobody gives a fuck if you're gay, straight, trans, white, Chinese, black... 1.00

00:21:31.000 Fucking Puerto Rican. 1.00

00:21:32.000 Nobody gives a fuck. 1.00

00:21:33.000 Are you funny? 0.98

00:21:34.000 Yeah.

00:21:35.000 And if you're funny, you're in.

00:21:36.000 That place is 100% inclusive.

00:21:38.000 If you're funny, you're in.

00:21:41.000 You're accepted for the kind of heat you bring.

00:21:45.000 When you get on that stage and light that place up, you don't have to hang out.

00:21:49.000 You don't have to be one of the people that parties and drinks. 0.99

00:21:52.000 They don't give a fuck. 0.98

00:21:54.000 They know you're funny. 1.00

00:21:55.000 I mean, I've seen you murder.

00:21:58.000 When you can lay it down the way you do, you just accept it.

00:22:01.000 It's just how it is.

00:22:03.000 It's a beautiful thing, really.

00:22:05.000 It's like the art form of comedy.

00:22:08.000 We all know how hard it is to get to that 14-year spot like you're at.

00:22:13.000 And there's a lot of people that have 14 years and are not as funny as you.

00:22:16.000 For whatever reason, psychologically, they've not figured it out artistically, they're not true to themselves, whatever it is, they've never found that.

00:22:23.000 And I think, I bet having a child and having that intense responsibility, you know, when you're starting out, you know, being an open-miker and also having a child, like, woo!

00:22:37.000 That is extreme.

00:22:39.000 That's an extreme amount of responsibility.

00:22:41.000 Yeah, I agree.

00:22:42.000 And I've talked about it with the other comics that I know that are parents because we'll make fun of the laziness of other comics because they'll be like, oh man, I got to do this set at midnight and then I got a meeting at noon.

00:22:54.000 How am I going to do it?

00:22:55.000 And I'll just be like, well, before I came to this set, I helped my son with his homework.

00:22:59.000 I got to get him up on the school bus at 6 a.m. 0.96

00:23:01.000 And then, you know, so like, I don't have any fucking sympathy for you. 0.97

00:23:05.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:23:08.000 Yeah.

00:23:09.000 Well, one of the things that I loved before the store closed down was my schedule was basically I would put my kids to sleep.

00:23:15.000 They would go to bed at like 8.30, 9 o'clock, and then I would go over my notes, and then I'd have a set at like 10.30.

00:23:24.000 It was perfect.

00:23:25.000 And then when I would come home, everybody would be asleep, so I'd just hang out with the dog and write.

00:23:29.000 You get a chance to come down and not have anybody talk to you.

00:23:33.000 Nothing, man.

00:23:33.000 Just quiet.

00:23:34.000 That's balance, man.

00:23:35.000 Yeah, that's what it's up.

00:23:36.000 For me, that's so big.

00:23:38.000 Balance is so big.

00:23:39.000 You have to have it.

00:23:41.000 You can't just be all about...

00:23:43.000 Because I think...

00:23:44.000 Do you know who Miyamoto Musashi was?

00:23:46.000 Mm-mm.

00:23:47.000 He's a samurai from the 15th century.

00:23:50.000 He wrote this crazy book called The Book of Five Rings.

00:23:53.000 It's all about strategy and how to be the best at whatever you do.

00:23:59.000 And one of the things that he said is, you have to do all things with the same intensity and energy.

00:24:08.000 You can't just be a guy who tries to kill people with a sword.

00:24:12.000 He was excellent at calligraphy.

00:24:14.000 He was an artist.

00:24:15.000 He wrote poetry.

00:24:16.000 He believed that you had to have a balance as a person, otherwise those flaws would show up in your sword fighting.

00:24:25.000 Oh, that's amazing.

00:24:26.000 I love that.

00:24:27.000 That strikes me hard because I've always believed that in my comedy from the day I started.

00:24:33.000 I was always like, oh, I can never let my life Get far away from my persona that I present on stage.

00:24:40.000 I can, you know, always be turning ourselves up to 11 or whatever.

00:24:44.000 But I go from just my experience and my love of comedy, I go, oh, when people get too far from their persona in any general way and they're lying to you, it just starts falling apart and it starts showing in their act and it shows in their life.

00:24:58.000 And I've always...

00:24:59.000 That is what gives me material, because I just talk about whatever is active in my life, as opposed to being like, well, this is who I am.

00:25:07.000 Because if I did that, I'd have been stuck when I was 23, just being like, I'm the fat stoner guy, you know?

00:25:12.000 Right, right, right, right.

00:25:13.000 Yeah.

00:25:14.000 Yeah, you could get caught up in your act, right?

00:25:17.000 Yes.

00:25:18.000 Look, there's a lot of examples of that, even successful ones, like Kinnison.

00:25:22.000 Kinnison is a great example.

00:25:25.000 Bobcat, up until very recently.

00:25:28.000 Yeah, he, on this podcast, talked about how hard it was to kick.

00:25:31.000 And people were like, hey man, do that scream thing. 1.00

00:25:33.000 He's like, fuck you! 1.00

00:25:35.000 I'm done, man! 1.00

00:25:36.000 I'm like, ah!

00:25:38.000 He didn't want to do it.

00:25:39.000 Yeah, he got stuck.

00:25:42.000 He got trapped.

00:25:43.000 Emo Phillips, he's another one, you know? 0.99

00:25:45.000 I mean, Emo's like in his fucking 60s now. 0.97

00:25:48.000 He's still got to do that weird sort of thing that he did when he was 20 that was kind of cute. 0.98

00:25:54.000 You know, when you're 60, everybody's like, man, are you having a stroke?

00:25:57.000 Like, what's going on up there, buddy?

00:25:59.000 Yeah, that one does still hurt me because he's such a tremendous joke writer.

00:26:02.000 Yes, amazing joke writer.

00:26:04.000 But I do see that.

00:26:06.000 Yeah, it's like you have to kind of, you can't just go up there and start talking.

00:26:10.000 You can't just be yourself.

00:26:11.000 Yes.

00:26:12.000 Yeah.

00:26:12.000 Which is one point when, you know, that's what I'm learning as you get into it, people start caring less and less about like, oh, that's a crazy ass joke he wrote, and they want to know more about like, who are you?

00:26:21.000 Right. 0.71

00:26:22.000 Yeah.

00:26:23.000 Yeah.

00:26:24.000 But we were talking about Kennison.

00:26:26.000 He was the guy who got really caught up in it because his thing was partying.

00:26:30.000 He couldn't go anywhere without partying.

00:26:32.000 So guys would line up giant lines of coke for him.

00:26:35.000 He'd be like, oh, here we go!

00:26:37.000 And his heart would be beating out of his chest and couldn't sleep for a week.

00:26:42.000 And his comedy was suffering real bad.

00:26:44.000 I always point to him as a great example for comedians.

00:26:48.000 Of someone who was so good for a short period of time and then was so bad afterwards.

00:26:54.000 He was so good around like 85, 86. That was like the Louder Than Hell days.

00:27:01.000 Like, dude, he was revolutionary.

00:27:03.000 Like, nobody had ever seen anything like that. 0.96

00:27:04.000 This short, fat preacher go on stage screaming and talking, screaming, you ever been married? 0.99

00:27:10.000 Look at me! 1.00

00:27:11.000 Look at me!

00:27:12.000 Like, this is marriage!

00:27:13.000 Oh, oh! 0.58

00:27:14.000 Like, I was married twice! 1.00

00:27:16.000 That's how fucking dumb I am! 0.99

00:27:17.000 And you would see him, and it was like this force in nature, but with great material, great insight, great points. 1.00

00:27:24.000 And then all of it went away, and then it was like cheerleading.

00:27:27.000 It was, like, weird.

00:27:29.000 Like, I remember he had this bit about drunk driving.

00:27:31.000 He's like, we're gonna drink, and we're gonna drive, and we're gonna pull it off.

00:27:34.000 You know why? 0.99

00:27:35.000 Because we do it every fucking night! 1.00

00:27:37.000 Woo! 0.99

00:27:38.000 And it's like, what?

00:27:39.000 Yeah.

00:27:40.000 And then he was killed by a drunk driver.

00:27:41.000 Yeah.

00:27:42.000 Which is crazy.

00:27:43.000 Yeah, I hate that.

00:27:44.000 I always hate when people use their charm and they use their tricks to push apart false premises.

00:27:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:27:50.000 You're fucking lying. 1.00

00:27:51.000 I think he was just trying to do it just to... 1.00

00:27:54.000 His brother wrote about it.

00:27:56.000 His brother, Bill, wrote a book called Brother Sam.

00:27:59.000 It was a really good book for someone who's a Kinnison fan.

00:28:02.000 Really interesting.

00:28:03.000 He talked about it pretty openly, about Sam just stopped writing.

00:28:06.000 His material fell apart, and he just became like a shadow of himself, like an open miker doing a Kinnison impression with like shitty material.

00:28:15.000 It's sad.

00:28:16.000 It is, but it's a lesson for us.

00:28:18.000 Yeah.

00:28:19.000 You know? 1.00

00:28:19.000 Like, you gotta stay on your fucking game. 1.00

00:28:23.000 And then there's also the problem when people know who you are. 1.00

00:28:27.000 They come to see you.

00:28:29.000 You know, it's Ron Funches.

00:28:30.000 Oh, we're gonna go see him.

00:28:31.000 And, like, we're excited to see you.

00:28:32.000 And everything you say, I'm happy to hear.

00:28:34.000 You get your crowd.

00:28:36.000 And the problem is if you're only doing comedy to your crowd, you could really delude yourself.

00:28:42.000 Oh, absolutely.

00:28:43.000 But I think that's...

00:28:44.000 Why people who are good like to go around to all the different spots.

00:28:48.000 I love to go around and do like house parties and the comedy store and my shows on the road.

00:28:53.000 You do house parties?

00:28:54.000 Sometimes.

00:28:55.000 Like what kind of house parties? 1.00

00:28:56.000 You know, they do dumbass mansion parties and shit. 1.00

00:28:59.000 Really? 0.99

00:29:00.000 Yeah, there's a lot of weird rich comedy producers and you're just like, I don't know what your life is.

00:29:06.000 But I will take this money for this event and then I'll probably not see you again.

00:29:10.000 And you do it at the house?

00:29:12.000 Yeah.

00:29:12.000 How many people?

00:29:13.000 Well, you know, this was way before.

00:29:14.000 Right.

00:29:15.000 Yeah.

00:29:15.000 It'd be like a couple hundred people.

00:29:17.000 No shit. 0.99

00:29:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:29:18.000 In the yard or something or inside? 1.00

00:29:20.000 Sometimes both, you know.

00:29:21.000 Wow.

00:29:22.000 Yeah.

00:29:23.000 Yeah, well, there's a lot of comedy.

00:29:25.000 There was a lot of comedy in L.A. and strange places.

00:29:28.000 Yeah.

00:29:28.000 I got invited to a lot of yard shows.

00:29:31.000 Guys would show up.

00:29:31.000 Hey, man, I'm doing comedy in my backyard.

00:29:33.000 Yeah, Best Fish Taco, doing a taco restaurant.

00:29:36.000 Oh, yeah?

00:29:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:37.000 You want a Kill Cliff? 0.96

00:29:38.000 Want one of these?

00:29:39.000 CBD drinks?

00:29:40.000 Sure.

00:29:40.000 Grape CBD drink.

00:29:42.000 Delicious.

00:29:43.000 Good for you.

00:29:44.000 No THC. Well, that's okay.

00:29:47.000 I can give you some THC if you'd like that, too.

00:29:50.000 We have plenty of that.

00:29:53.000 But I got those for us.

00:29:55.000 No, it's not bad.

00:29:56.000 Delicious, right?

00:29:56.000 Yeah.

00:29:57.000 Good for you.

00:29:57.000 25 milligrams of CBD. Do you take CBD at all?

00:30:02.000 Yeah, a bit.

00:30:03.000 Yeah.

00:30:03.000 I might get some to my wife whenever her back is hurting.

00:30:06.000 That's one of my daily things.

00:30:08.000 That's just the thing that's so good for you.

00:30:11.000 CBD is so good for you.

00:30:12.000 Just anything you can do to reduce inflammation.

00:30:15.000 Mm-hmm.

00:30:16.000 Fantastic.

00:30:17.000 For the body, for the brain.

00:30:19.000 I didn't even know I had anxiety until I started taking CBD. I'm telling you.

00:30:25.000 Well, maybe you didn't!

00:30:29.000 Well, it's relative.

00:30:31.000 I mean, I didn't have anxiety compared to people who have anxiety.

00:30:34.000 But I took CBD. I was like, man, I feel really relaxed.

00:30:37.000 And I was like, oh, okay.

00:30:39.000 I see what's going on.

00:30:40.000 Yeah.

00:30:40.000 No, I like a good CBD. I'll just smoke just a straight CBD sometimes.

00:30:44.000 Oh, yeah?

00:30:44.000 After a workout or something.

00:30:46.000 Yeah, I would say I'm going to do that, and then I grab a regular joint.

00:30:49.000 Yeah, but I'll mix them up, too.

00:30:51.000 Do you ever smoke weed and then work out?

00:30:53.000 Yeah, my trainer hates that, but yeah.

00:30:57.000 Why does your trainer hate that?

00:30:58.000 He's always like, I can always tell when you're high, when you're smoking weed.

00:31:02.000 He's Dutch, so that's how he talks to me.

00:31:05.000 Yeah, I had a Dutch kickboxing trainer for a while.

00:31:08.000 They have a different way of talking.

00:31:10.000 The Dutch way.

00:31:11.000 Yeah, they don't understand America. 1.00

00:31:14.000 You're so fat. 0.99

00:31:16.000 You don't have to be. 0.98

00:31:19.000 What are you eating, my friend?

00:31:22.000 It is very simple.

00:31:24.000 What kind of foods?

00:31:27.000 Dutch is a weird country, Holland. 0.92

00:31:30.000 I don't know if you know this, but they have some of the greatest kickboxers of all time.

00:31:34.000 All came out of Holland. 1.00

00:31:36.000 Real weird.

00:31:37.000 A few guys went over to Thailand, started training in Thailand, and fighting in Thailand, and they brought it back to Holland, and then Holland became this gigantic kickboxing epicenter.

00:31:48.000 That's crazy.

00:31:48.000 I didn't know that.

00:31:49.000 I did not know that. 1.00

00:31:50.000 Some of the baddest motherfuckers of all time come from Holland. 1.00

00:31:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:31:54.000 A place known for like weed shops and red light district and mushrooms. 1.00

00:31:58.000 That's why I go.

00:32:00.000 That's one of my favorite places to visit.

00:32:02.000 Yeah?

00:32:02.000 Yeah.

00:32:03.000 Four times I've been to Amsterdam.

00:32:05.000 I've never been.

00:32:06.000 I've never been.

00:32:06.000 Love it.

00:32:07.000 And it's not even, you know, you can get just as good, if not better.

00:32:10.000 We here in California, for sure.

00:32:12.000 But it's just the vibe. 1.00

00:32:14.000 It's just the lack of anyone ever being like, oh, you dumb stoner. 1.00

00:32:17.000 None of that. 0.99

00:32:18.000 Like, I remember I was sitting in a coffee shop and a guy tried to sneak a beer in and they kicked him out.

00:32:25.000 And they were like, no drinking.

00:32:26.000 And I was like, I like it here.

00:32:31.000 Yeah.

00:32:32.000 It's funny what we chose to allow and not allow.

00:32:36.000 Yeah.

00:32:37.000 Wow.

00:32:37.000 Where I'm going in Texas, you still...

00:32:39.000 I mean, Austin, it's legal, essentially.

00:32:42.000 They've decriminalized it to the point where the cops won't arrest anybody for weed.

00:32:45.000 I mean, they don't want you selling large quantities of it, but it's still not legal.

00:32:49.000 It's still not legal statewide. 0.99

00:32:51.000 It's the dumbest thing to make illegal. 0.99

00:32:54.000 It just makes zero sense. 0.99

00:32:55.000 You know, I see...

00:32:57.000 I see the argument for making alcohol illegal, but I would never agree with it.

00:33:01.000 I think people should be able to do whatever they want.

00:33:04.000 Yeah, I'm with that. 1.00

00:33:05.000 But the argument for weed being illegal is the dumbest. 0.98

00:33:07.000 I'm with personal responsibility. 0.98

00:33:10.000 But we have so many arguments that we're not really good at it.

00:33:14.000 Yeah.

00:33:15.000 So...

00:33:16.000 Well, look at what's happened with COVID. Yeah!

00:33:19.000 That's the best.

00:33:19.000 I mean, if you look at what...

00:33:20.000 We're so bad at it. 0.93

00:33:22.000 America is so bad.

00:33:23.000 Our response to COVID and how we've handled it and allowed it to spread, we're the worst.

00:33:29.000 Yeah, I mean, you know, I'm a big pro wrestling fan and that's the thing that's been making me angry because it's just as much as I miss comedy.

00:33:35.000 I used to go to my wrestling shows with my friends and my buddies and... 0.97

00:33:39.000 Now I'm watching the Japanese wrestling that I love and seeing that they have full crowds all sitting there in masks, just hanging out because they are good at handling their fucking business. 0.85

00:33:51.000 That's when you're just sitting here and you're like, oh, well, we're all falling apart and it's just how it is. 0.99

00:33:56.000 But then you start looking over at other countries and you're like, well, no, they figured some shit out. 0.99

00:34:00.000 Well, this virus is so sneaky, man. 0.97

00:34:03.000 Even Japan has had a resurgence recently.

00:34:05.000 It's so weird, man. 1.00

00:34:07.000 It's the weirdest fucking virus. 0.99

00:34:09.000 It's just like New Zealand even had a resurgence. 0.99

00:34:12.000 New Zealand had over 100 days with zero cases.

00:34:15.000 And then they just got a...

00:34:16.000 I think it was four or something like that?

00:34:19.000 Got it and one family got it.

00:34:21.000 They're trying to figure out how that happened.

00:34:23.000 So they shut down the city where they're at, sort of.

00:34:27.000 Stage three or something.

00:34:29.000 One family.

00:34:30.000 Yeah, so one family of four has it. 1.00

00:34:31.000 Sneaky fucks. 0.99

00:34:32.000 What have they been up to? 1.00

00:34:33.000 Maybe they got some bad tests, but probably not.

00:34:36.000 They're trying to trace how it happened.

00:34:39.000 It's such a weird, weird, weird disease, man.

00:34:42.000 I know so many people that have gotten it now.

00:34:44.000 I think I know about nine people, and so many of them have different symptoms. 0.85

00:34:48.000 I know people that got it, and they just got a mild headache, and they felt like shit for a day, and then they were fine.

00:34:53.000 And then I know other people, like Michael Yeo, who was on death's door. 0.80

00:34:57.000 When people ask me about that, there's extenuating circumstances.

00:35:00.000 If you listen to Michael's story, he was worn the fuck out.

00:35:04.000 Flew all the way to New York, did shows, did morning radio, did TV, flew all the way back, then got in a car with his family, drove to Vegas, hung out with his wife's mom's family.

00:35:15.000 Hung out there for a while and then drove all the way back home same day and then had auditions the next day and then auditions the day after that and then boom it hit him.

00:35:24.000 His immune system was compromised.

00:35:26.000 Yes, he was wrecked.

00:35:27.000 He was exhausted and low vitamin D. Vitamin D seems to be one of the big factors, gigantic factor.

00:35:33.000 There was a recent study that Dr. Rhonda Patrick sent me yesterday that I have to go over.

00:35:38.000 But one of the things that she said was that in a series of studies they did where they showed people in the ICU for COVID, more than 80% of them had insufficient levels of vitamin D. And out of the people that were in intensive care, only 4% had sufficient levels of vitamin D. Gotta take your vitamin D. Do you take vitamin D? Yes,

00:35:58.000 I do.

00:35:58.000 Do you?

00:35:58.000 How much do you take?

00:36:00.000 I don't know.

00:36:00.000 I just, whatever's in the bottle.

00:36:02.000 It tells me.

00:36:02.000 Oh, one of those things.

00:36:03.000 Yeah.

00:36:04.000 Multivitamins?

00:36:04.000 No, it's a full, wait, yeah, the D is in the multi.

00:36:07.000 Yeah, so full C, then the multi, B, something called arginine that I don't know.

00:36:13.000 It's an amino acid.

00:36:14.000 Yeah.

00:36:14.000 I do know that, but I don't know what that means.

00:36:17.000 It helps build muscle.

00:36:18.000 Okay.

00:36:19.000 I'm glad I'm taking it.

00:36:20.000 Yeah.

00:36:20.000 Branched chain amino acids.

00:36:21.000 It's a really good post-workout.

00:36:23.000 Yeah.

00:36:24.000 Take it after.

00:36:25.000 Yeah.

00:36:25.000 I'm supposed to take it after my workout, but before my...

00:36:27.000 Yes.

00:36:28.000 Yes.

00:36:30.000 What kind of protein drink are you drinking in that thing?

00:36:31.000 What is that? 1.00

00:36:32.000 This is just like some bullshit. 1.00

00:36:33.000 This is like Metrex, just regular. 0.99

00:36:36.000 Actually, I need to figure out a better powder because I just got on it and just got the basic, like, oh, this tastes chocolate.

00:36:44.000 I'm pretty sure it's not great, but I'm sure you can tell me some good ones.

00:36:49.000 I find hemp to be the best protein powder, the most easily digestible.

00:36:54.000 I have zero problems with it, digestion-wise. 0.96

00:36:56.000 Like, if I drink whey an hour later, I gotta stay the fuck away from people, otherwise I'm gonna be farting.

00:37:01.000 I don't tend to have a problem with whey, but I always have less of a problem with hemp. 0.92

00:37:05.000 That's always right.

00:37:06.000 Yeah.

00:37:07.000 Yeah, it's the most digestible for me.

00:37:09.000 I mean, it's just easy.

00:37:10.000 It's also something I can eat literally, I can drink it, rather, literally an hour before a workout and have zero problems.

00:37:17.000 Just take it with a little bit of coconut water, mix it up, you know, just simple, easy.

00:37:23.000 You know, I use the Onnit kind, but there's a lot of good hemp powders out there.

00:37:28.000 And it's very absorbable, you know, it's a very bioavailable form of protein in terms of plant protein.

00:37:36.000 The two best, I find, plant proteins or pea proteins really good and hemp protein.

00:37:41.000 I think hemp protein is a little better, at least in my experience.

00:37:45.000 Okay, I'm looking to some hemp protein.

00:37:47.000 But Metrix is delicious.

00:37:48.000 It is delicious.

00:37:49.000 It's like you're getting yourself a little shake.

00:37:50.000 Yeah, that's what I do in the morning when I have my favorite breakfast.

00:37:53.000 I get a rice cake that has a little bit of almond butter and a little bit of apple butter.

00:37:58.000 And then I have a shake and I go, ooh, I'm having shake and cake for breakfast.

00:38:01.000 It's just mental games.

00:38:03.000 Yeah.

00:38:05.000 When you first started losing weight, how much did you weigh?

00:38:09.000 360. Wow.

00:38:13.000 Wow.

00:38:14.000 So you lost well over 100 pounds.

00:38:16.000 Yeah, let's say right now it would be 130. Wow!

00:38:20.000 That's amazing.

00:38:22.000 What's the ultimate goal?

00:38:23.000 I'd like to be around 200 and just keep staying lean and just keep putting on muscle a bit.

00:38:30.000 But yeah, I'd like to lose like another 15 pounds.

00:38:32.000 Nice.

00:38:34.000 Yeah, you could do that.

00:38:35.000 Yeah, just focus.

00:38:37.000 Yeah, I mean, you're at the home stretch. 1.00

00:38:39.000 Yeah, and that's been the fucking, yeah, that's what sucks. 0.99

00:38:41.000 Because then I'm like, why can't I have a cookie? 0.99

00:38:43.000 And then I have one, and then I realize why I can't have a cookie. 0.99

00:38:46.000 Because then I eat the whole fucking box of cookies, so. 1.00

00:38:50.000 Yeah, I can't fuck with pizza. 1.00

00:38:51.000 No. 0.99

00:38:51.000 If I have one slice of pizza, the glutton in me goes off and I just want to eat that whole thing. 0.99

00:38:57.000 Mm-hmm.

00:38:58.000 That abstain.

00:38:59.000 Mm-hmm.

00:39:00.000 Do you miss traveling?

00:39:01.000 I do.

00:39:02.000 Yeah.

00:39:02.000 Actually, I do.

00:39:03.000 I was talking with my wife a couple days ago because we were watching some 90 Day Fiance and they were...

00:39:08.000 What is that?

00:39:09.000 You've never seen it?

00:39:10.000 No.

00:39:10.000 Oh, it's just a show.

00:39:13.000 Actually, it's a whole complex of shows where people from other countries meet people in America and they get married.

00:39:19.000 They have to get married within 90 days once they move to America.

00:39:22.000 But then also, we've been watching The Other Way on the recommendation of Eric Griffin where Americans move to other countries for their significant others.

00:39:31.000 And that's been insane.

00:39:33.000 And beautiful.

00:39:34.000 It's been beautiful to watch together.

00:39:36.000 Why's that?

00:39:36.000 It makes our relationship look so much stronger.

00:39:38.000 LAUGHTER I go, baby, we never said we should start over.

00:39:43.000 I never lied to you about a gambling problem that I had.

00:39:48.000 It just makes us look a lot better when we're watching those relationships.

00:39:53.000 But they're at the airport a lot, and I would go, oh, that's PDX. Oh, that's...

00:39:57.000 She's just like, oh... 0.74

00:39:59.000 She's like, why are you getting so excited about seeing these airports? 0.85

00:40:02.000 And I was just like, I think I just fucking miss the whole... 0.94

00:40:08.000 Process. 0.89

00:40:08.000 I just miss knowing, oh, I'm going to a new city. 0.89

00:40:11.000 New people are going to see me.

00:40:13.000 I might meet some new friends.

00:40:14.000 Like, you know, I miss that.

00:40:16.000 Have you been writing?

00:40:17.000 I've been writing a bit.

00:40:19.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:40:20.000 Go ahead.

00:40:21.000 I'm sorry, what's your process?

00:40:23.000 My process is usually from, like, if we're talking about from the start, I kind of work on this little grid where I just break it down into love, hate, and fear.

00:40:34.000 And then I just kind of Get stoned or just sometimes not stoned at all and I'll just play some instrumental music and I'll just write about what I'm scared about what I'm Pissed about what I'm in love with and then I Didn't take those topics and try to figure out jokes about what's going on in my life.

00:40:53.000 That's interesting Have you always done it that way?

00:40:55.000 Yeah.

00:40:56.000 Love hate fear.

00:40:57.000 Mm-hmm.

00:40:58.000 What what where'd you get the inspiration to do it that way?

00:41:00.000 I think I just got it from a writing workbook from when I was in like an English class in high school.

00:41:06.000 Really?

00:41:07.000 Yeah, it was just about how you would brainstorm writing a paper.

00:41:12.000 It's a great idea.

00:41:13.000 Yeah, I mean, it helps me get the basics down.

00:41:16.000 So instead of like, oh, I'm writing this joke about this, it's like, okay, I'm writing about my wife because I fucking love my wife, or I'm writing about my son, or I'm scared about COVID, or I'm scared about this, or, you know, the more specific I can get about what exactly I'm scared of, or I'm afraid of,

00:41:34.000 you know, or what I'm in love with, and just the more specific I can get, the better the jokes are.

00:41:41.000 And so it's a lot of work that way and then sometimes at two in the morning I'll just be stoned and something will pop in and I gotta go chase down a notebook.

00:41:48.000 Yeah, the stoned ideas that just pop out of nowhere are the weirdest ones.

00:41:52.000 That's not even my idea.

00:41:53.000 That's the universe's idea.

00:41:55.000 Yeah, giving it to you.

00:41:55.000 But I usually find that it doesn't give it to me if I haven't put in that earlier work.

00:42:01.000 Right, right.

00:42:02.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:42:03.000 It'll give me a gift for putting in the shitty work of trying to figure out this, how the fuck am I going to break this down? 0.98

00:42:10.000 And then in the middle of the night... 0.95

00:42:11.000 Some completely joke, some other left field joke will just pop in and it'll be fully formed, set up, punchline, everything.

00:42:19.000 And I'm just like, thank you.

00:42:22.000 Yeah, it is crazy like that, right?

00:42:24.000 It is crazy.

00:42:26.000 That put in the work part is what, you ever read Steven Pressfield's The War of Art?

00:42:31.000 It's a great book, a real small book too.

00:42:33.000 I used to, I'd buy stacks of them in the old studio and I'd just hand them out to guests, like especially comics.

00:42:39.000 I'm like, trust me, just read this.

00:42:41.000 Because one of the things it's about is about establishing the laws of your work, like the way you work.

00:42:48.000 You're a professional, and you show up every day as a professional, and you sit in front of that computer or that notebook, and you call upon the muse.

00:42:56.000 And whether or not the muse is real, if you do the work, it acts as if it's real.

00:43:03.000 Yeah.

00:43:05.000 I agree.

00:43:05.000 Yeah.

00:43:05.000 I believe with that all the time.

00:43:07.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:43:08.000 I've been talking to myself lately just like then that's what's been keeping me with my health and my writing and my meditating and whatever is just like figuring out who I am and what works for me and then being like you follow those fucking rules. 0.99

00:43:23.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:43:23.000 Don't break your rules. 0.98

00:43:24.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:43:25.000 Whenever you break your rules, shit doesn't go right. 0.98

00:43:28.000 Even though it might look cool, it might look amazing, it might be like, oh well this time if I break my rule, it looks like it's gonna be dope and I'll get a bunch of money. 0.98

00:43:37.000 Never works out. 1.00

00:43:38.000 So just don't break your fucking rules. 0.99

00:43:41.000 And I'm just... 0.99

00:43:43.000 It's hard, but I've been working on that.

00:43:46.000 It's just like, oh, I gotta eat well.

00:43:48.000 I gotta work out.

00:43:49.000 I trust my intuition.

00:43:51.000 I'm the leader. 1.00

00:43:52.000 I'm the fucking boss. 1.00

00:43:53.000 I don't let other people lead me. 1.00

00:43:56.000 I lead, even if I don't know where I'm fucking going. 0.92

00:43:59.000 I lead, and I just follow those rules. 0.68

00:44:03.000 Have you had that issue with representation, like agents or managers trying to tell you what to do or guide you into a way that you didn't think was you?

00:44:11.000 Oh, no, no, not for me.

00:44:13.000 I've been truly blessed in that.

00:44:15.000 Truly blessed. 0.99

00:44:15.000 I think I have one of the best managers in the fucking world. 0.99

00:44:20.000 She's amazing. 0.99

00:44:21.000 She's married to the game.

00:44:23.000 My name's Melanie Truett, Brian Posehn's wife.

00:44:27.000 And she's been my manager since before I moved out of LA. She paid my fucking rent when I couldn't afford to pay my rent. 1.00

00:44:35.000 She's looked out for me every step of the way. 0.99

00:44:38.000 That's awesome. 0.99

00:44:39.000 There's been fucking... 0.97

00:44:41.000 This show is going to series. 0.99

00:44:44.000 They are making an offer on you.

00:44:47.000 This will give you a bunch of money, but it's not the right project. 0.98

00:44:50.000 Let's fucking pass. 0.98

00:44:51.000 Wow. 0.99

00:44:53.000 And that was like...

00:44:55.000 In the past, and I mean, that happened a couple of weeks into COVID. We were both scared shitless.

00:45:00.000 I know she was scared shitless about that 10%. 1.00

00:45:03.000 A guaranteed season?

00:45:06.000 Yeah.

00:45:07.000 And she was like, no, this isn't...

00:45:09.000 She's like, you've already done parts like this three or four times.

00:45:13.000 You can do this.

00:45:14.000 This will be there for you.

00:45:15.000 We're shooting for bigger things for you.

00:45:17.000 And just like her belief in me and...

00:45:21.000 Drive for me has always been there.

00:45:23.000 I never ever feel like she's ever sold me short so that she can get a check.

00:45:28.000 Ever.

00:45:28.000 That's huge.

00:45:29.000 That's huge.

00:45:30.000 It's rare.

00:45:31.000 Yeah, I do know that.

00:45:32.000 I have many friends that have really bad managers that give them terrible advice to take projects that are just short-term financial gain for the sacrifice of long-term career options. 0.97

00:45:43.000 Oh, my manager, if she sees the word exclusive in any contract, she's just like, we ain't fucking with them. 0.79

00:45:51.000 You are not exclusive to anybody. 0.59

00:45:53.000 You are dating around.

00:45:56.000 That's great.

00:45:57.000 That's great attitude, man.

00:45:58.000 That's what's interesting about today's climate.

00:46:01.000 It's like you don't get a lot of real managers anymore.

00:46:06.000 You almost have comics who have two agents.

00:46:09.000 Yeah.

00:46:16.000 Yeah.

00:46:31.000 Yeah, I feel like, yeah, my manager's always been there.

00:46:33.000 She's always kind of seen me two years ahead of where I've been at. 0.94

00:46:38.000 I have that story about recently, but I remember when I first was in Portland and there was this commercial that reached out to me and they wanted me to play a roach in a fucking bug spray commercial. 0.99

00:46:48.000 And I was broke as fuck. 0.99

00:46:50.000 And she was just like, no. 0.99

00:46:51.000 She's like, because we don't know what you're going to be in the next couple years.

00:46:55.000 And that commercial could be around forever.

00:46:57.000 Smart woman.

00:46:58.000 And so if you need the money that bad, I'd rather just give you the money.

00:47:03.000 Wow.

00:47:04.000 Good for her, man.

00:47:05.000 Yeah, she's dope. 1.00

00:47:06.000 And I have many friends who, like, they just are tremendous, tremendous comedians, tremendous joke writers.

00:47:11.000 One friend who comes to mine immediately, and I've always told him, I was like...

00:47:15.000 You need to dump your manager and get a better manager because you're doing your part.

00:47:20.000 And I don't see why you're not getting more money.

00:47:23.000 You're not getting more chances.

00:47:24.000 You're not advancing at things.

00:47:26.000 They're not putting you on these talking head shows.

00:47:29.000 You're doing your part.

00:47:33.000 He opened for me once. 0.99

00:47:34.000 I was like, dude, you're fucking crushing me. 0.99

00:47:37.000 And I'm the one getting the bigger check. 1.00

00:47:39.000 Like, what the fuck is that? 0.98

00:47:40.000 Like, get your business in order. 0.99

00:47:43.000 And I've always, I think from having a kid, I've always been very much into the art and very much into the business.

00:47:51.000 Yeah, it's just, it's hard for people to find someone like your manager that is dedicated.

00:47:55.000 I got real lucky.

00:47:56.000 I found mine when I was an open-miker. 0.98

00:47:58.000 I've been with the same manager since 1991 or some shit. 0.94

00:48:05.000 Something crazy like that. 0.99

00:48:06.000 Yeah, that's insane.

00:48:07.000 Yeah, I was like three years into comedy when I met him.

00:48:10.000 And I've been with him.

00:48:11.000 And then he's basically not retired, but steps back.

00:48:15.000 And then my manager, Chandra, she took over 10 plus years ago or more.

00:48:22.000 Might be more than 10 years ago now.

00:48:24.000 And they're just the best in terms of seeing the big picture.

00:48:30.000 And the same thing you're saying about your manager.

00:48:33.000 Just looking at the business in terms of what do you really want to do?

00:48:37.000 What's going to make you happy?

00:48:39.000 There's things you can do for money, but what are you here for?

00:48:43.000 Yeah.

00:48:44.000 Like, what do you want?

00:48:45.000 You want to like walk away from everything you do going, that was great.

00:48:49.000 I enjoyed that.

00:48:50.000 That's what I wanted to do.

00:48:51.000 Like a special, thank you, good night.

00:48:53.000 You want to go, we did it.

00:48:54.000 We nailed it.

00:48:55.000 High fives all around.

00:48:56.000 That's how you want to be able to achieve those moments and get those feelings.

00:49:00.000 And I think, I know this is unrelatable to some people that are listening to this, but I think that way with everything, and maybe you don't have a manager for whatever your goal is in life, but you kind of have to think about it as your own manager.

00:49:13.000 You gotta think, like, what do I really want to do?

00:49:16.000 And are the steps that I'm taking, or the things that I'm doing right now, are they moving me closer to that? 0.52

00:49:23.000 And if not, what the fuck do I have to do different than what I'm doing? 0.64

00:49:27.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:49:27.000 I mean, to me, I have that manager. 0.95

00:49:29.000 I also have my vision board. 0.99

00:49:31.000 I have my shit that I do on my own. 0.99

00:49:33.000 I am. 0.99

00:49:34.000 Oh, yes, Joe.

00:49:36.000 What's at the top of the vision board?

00:49:38.000 My show. 0.99

00:49:39.000 Getting my own fucking show about my son being a single dad of a son with autism. 1.00

00:49:43.000 Making it a fucking dope-ass comedy. 1.00

00:49:47.000 Netflix should do that. 0.99

00:49:48.000 That seems like a perfect thing.

00:49:49.000 You would think.

00:49:50.000 LAUGHTER That seems like a really good idea for a show.

00:49:56.000 I think so.

00:49:56.000 We found a spot.

00:49:57.000 We're working on it.

00:49:58.000 Okay.

00:49:59.000 Alright.

00:49:59.000 You gotta keep it, Mom.

00:50:00.000 We'll talk later.

00:50:02.000 There's that.

00:50:03.000 I want to be a lead in some movies.

00:50:06.000 I want to do more.

00:50:07.000 I always see myself as like this Rick Marana's Billy Crystal type of unconventional, charming, leading man.

00:50:14.000 Maybe you need a buddy.

00:50:15.000 I could use a buddy.

00:50:16.000 Yeah, you need like, you know, Christopher, like Chris Farley needed David Spade.

00:50:20.000 Like the two of them together, they played off of each other.

00:50:23.000 You need a buddy.

00:50:24.000 I do need a buddy.

00:50:25.000 Who would your buddy be?

00:50:26.000 I gotta think about that.

00:50:27.000 Think about that.

00:50:28.000 That would be fun.

00:50:29.000 Maybe Bobby Lee.

00:50:30.000 Bobby Lee?

00:50:31.000 Well, he seems crazy for a buddy. 1.00

00:50:32.000 He's crazy as fuck. 1.00

00:50:34.000 He might be a problem. 1.00

00:50:36.000 If he gets too successful, he might sabotage and go back on pills.

00:50:42.000 Bobby Lee's so wild!

00:50:44.000 He's so wild.

00:50:45.000 He truly is.

00:50:46.000 I knew Bobby Lee in the early days when he'd bring a knife to work. 0.99

00:50:51.000 All sweaty and shit. 0.98

00:50:52.000 We were at an airport one time and he just goes, oh, the courtesy phone's calling for you. 0.99

00:50:58.000 And I was like, no, I've been here too, Bobby.

00:51:01.000 I didn't hear anything.

00:51:02.000 He's like, no, no, no, it didn't.

00:51:03.000 And he spends his whole time trying to convince me.

00:51:05.000 And he halfway does.

00:51:06.000 And then I just go sit down somewhere else and I go, oh... 1.00

00:51:10.000 He's a fucking high school bully. 1.00

00:51:12.000 He just likes to fucking play around. 1.00

00:51:15.000 Not like beat you up, but like prankster. 1.00

00:51:18.000 He just fucks with you all the time. 0.99

00:51:22.000 No, I love Bobby. 0.99

00:51:23.000 I'm not saying he's trying to beat me. 0.99

00:51:25.000 I'm saying he's just a prankster who fucks with you all the time. 0.99

00:51:32.000 Money, no money, nothing. 1.00

00:51:34.000 That's who he is.

00:51:36.000 And I love it.

00:51:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:51:38.000 He's a guy who needs a goddamn special. 0.99

00:51:40.000 I've been yelling at him forever. 0.99

00:51:41.000 Now he has an excuse.

00:51:44.000 There's no comedy.

00:51:46.000 You know, now he's got an excuse.

00:51:47.000 But Bobby Lee is absolutely the best stand-up comic that does not have a special.

00:51:52.000 I mean, he is as legit a headliner as has ever lived.

00:51:57.000 When that guy is crushing, when he's in the OR crushing, you're like, the fact that he doesn't have a special is criminal.

00:52:04.000 Criminal!

00:52:05.000 Yeah, Bobby, I mean, he's just unique.

00:52:08.000 He's just him.

00:52:09.000 And that, to me, is the definition of someone you want to give a special to.

00:52:12.000 Yeah, I've known that dude forever.

00:52:15.000 I've known him for a long time, back when he was crazy! 0.98

00:52:18.000 But it's nice to see that he's gotten his shit together. 0.99

00:52:21.000 He's calmer and more stable. 1.00

00:52:23.000 Doesn't rub his balls on you as much. 0.99

00:52:25.000 Not as much. 1.00

00:52:26.000 Not nearly as much. 1.00

00:52:28.000 Yeah, I got a picture of him standing in the middle of the hallway with his pants down and his dick tucked in between his legs. 1.00

00:52:36.000 It's like, that's Bobby Lee. 1.00

00:52:38.000 Mm-hmm.

00:52:40.000 We've all seen it.

00:52:43.000 You said you meditate?

00:52:45.000 Yeah.

00:52:45.000 Like, what do you do?

00:52:46.000 You know, nothing like, you know, nothing special.

00:52:49.000 Just sit around, do a 10-minute little meditation when I get up in the morning.

00:52:54.000 Sometimes they're guided, a lot of times they're not.

00:52:57.000 But I talked to, I don't know, you know who Donnick Carey is?

00:53:00.000 He's a tremendous writer.

00:53:02.000 Wrote for The Simpsons, wrote for Letterman.

00:53:04.000 And he came on my podcast and he just told me about this thing that he was doing, this acronym that he was doing every day, Mr. Always.

00:53:11.000 Just meditate, read, art, write, exercise every day.

00:53:14.000 That was like part of his rules.

00:53:16.000 And so I was like, oh, I'm going to try to adapt that into my rules just as a way to keep that going.

00:53:22.000 So that's part of what I do.

00:53:23.000 Meditate, read, art, write, exercise every day.

00:53:26.000 That's awesome.

00:53:27.000 Yeah, I mean, that's a beautiful thing.

00:53:28.000 If you could structure your life like that.

00:53:31.000 And make sure you follow those principles.

00:53:33.000 You'll just get more out of your brain.

00:53:35.000 Yeah, and then you're surprised about, like, for all the times you're bored and you're like, oh, there's too many hours in a day. 0.99

00:53:40.000 You're like, if you gotta go through all those fucking things, you'll be like, fuck, half the day is gone. 0.99

00:53:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:53:45.000 I don't understand people that say there's too many hours in a day. 1.00

00:53:48.000 Like, what are you doing?

00:53:50.000 I want a hundred lives.

00:53:52.000 I want to live a hundred separate lives so I can just do different. 0.82

00:53:56.000 I literally don't do things because I'm scared I'll get too into them and then I will have less time for all the other shit that I'm already obsessed with.

00:54:05.000 I'm the same way.

00:54:06.000 I mull over the decision for an extended period of time because I know once I make the decision, I'm all in.

00:54:14.000 I started playing video games on Twitch and doing these little comedy nights on Twitch where I show old videos and make fun of people because that's part of things that I miss was that...

00:54:22.000 Not just watching comedy.

00:54:24.000 I miss being in the back of the room, making fun of this punchline or this tag, and then being like, oh, that's good.

00:54:31.000 I miss that, so I've been doing that on Twitch and playing games with people, but it took me a long time to decide to do it because I was like, oh, once I do it, anything, stand-up, acting, whatever, if I choose to do it, I go full force.

00:54:45.000 Yeah, you get into it, right?

00:54:47.000 Yeah.

00:54:47.000 And then it becomes a part of your daily routine, and then you're trying to get better at it.

00:54:50.000 Yeah.

00:54:51.000 Podcasting.

00:54:52.000 Yeah, man. 0.99

00:54:53.000 The Twitch thing seems like you could eat up a lot of your day just fucking around on Twitch. 0.99

00:54:59.000 You can. 0.98

00:55:00.000 Do you have a good chair that supports your back well?

00:55:02.000 I got a solid chair.

00:55:03.000 I could use a better chair.

00:55:04.000 What about the chair you're in right now?

00:55:06.000 Do you like that one?

00:55:07.000 It's pretty nice.

00:55:07.000 It's very good.

00:55:08.000 Yeah, it's solid.

00:55:08.000 I like these.

00:55:09.000 Good for the back. 0.91

00:55:11.000 Yeah.

00:55:12.000 Ergonomic.

00:55:12.000 You need something ergonomic.

00:55:13.000 Yeah.

00:55:14.000 You don't want to develop back problems because of COVID. No.

00:55:17.000 You know?

00:55:17.000 No.

00:55:18.000 Like all the people that are just sitting down all the time?

00:55:20.000 Yeah.

00:55:20.000 Well, that's why, again, the two treads a day.

00:55:23.000 Just make sure, keeping myself upright, moving.

00:55:26.000 So when you do this meditating thing, you do it every day, ten minutes.

00:55:30.000 You start your day this way.

00:55:31.000 Do you go to a place, like a quiet place in your house where no one's around?

00:55:34.000 I usually do it right there in bed.

00:55:36.000 Oh, yeah?

00:55:36.000 Make up the bed, get everything together, sit there, meditate for ten minutes.

00:55:41.000 Usually try to do it before my son wakes up, before the neighbors wake up, because their family doesn't seem to be as structurally strong as ours.

00:55:48.000 LAUGHTER Oh, you got wacky neighbors?

00:55:52.000 They like yelling at each other.

00:55:54.000 Oh, that's a bummer.

00:55:55.000 All day.

00:55:55.000 And then the wife, you know they've had a fight because then in the morning the wife will come out in the morning going, I love you!

00:56:02.000 I love you!

00:56:06.000 She's like, he's not saying it back, lady. 0.94

00:56:09.000 Oh, no.

00:56:11.000 Oh, no.

00:56:12.000 Yeah, they're not doing well.

00:56:14.000 There's a trap that some people get in that fight, break up, make up trap.

00:56:18.000 Because it makes everything so exciting.

00:56:20.000 Mm-hmm.

00:56:21.000 That's the problem.

00:56:22.000 High school.

00:56:22.000 Yeah.

00:56:23.000 Yeah, that's why I like, you know, I got married on Friday, super chill. 0.98

00:56:26.000 Super ass chill.

00:56:27.000 The wedding was so chill that I was like, this is going to be a great marriage. 0.94

00:56:31.000 We just got dressed.

00:56:33.000 I got my son dressed and went off with my friend.

00:56:36.000 She got dressed with her friend.

00:56:37.000 We met together at the place. 0.87

00:56:40.000 The guy just went over his dumb spiel and then we talked to each other. 0.55

00:56:44.000 Went home, took some pictures. 0.96

00:56:45.000 We ordered in from one of our favorite restaurants.

00:56:47.000 We watched 90 Day Fiance and then we fell asleep and had sex the next morning because we knew we were going to be there.

00:56:52.000 Did you get married during COVID? Yeah.

00:56:55.000 Oh, wow.

00:56:56.000 Yeah, this last Friday.

00:56:57.000 Oh, well, congratulations, man.

00:57:00.000 Thank you.

00:57:00.000 Thank you so much.

00:57:01.000 That's why you're so excited about it.

00:57:02.000 Let me talk to you in a couple years.

00:57:04.000 Well, let me show you a picture of her.

00:57:07.000 I've seen a picture of her.

00:57:08.000 She's beautiful.

00:57:09.000 Congratulations.

00:57:10.000 It's one of the things about being talented.

00:57:12.000 Yeah.

00:57:13.000 Yeah.

00:57:14.000 You get a box above your weight class.

00:57:16.000 Oh, way.

00:57:16.000 Yeah.

00:57:17.000 Oh, yeah.

00:57:18.000 I was like, oh, if I didn't do comedy, I'd never even see you.

00:57:25.000 That's cool, though.

00:57:26.000 That's a bright spot. 0.89

00:57:28.000 You'll always look back on the time you got married and go, damn, we got married during one of the weirdest times in the history of the United States. 0.98

00:57:33.000 Yeah, man. 0.99

00:57:33.000 Leaning into what's solid when shit's all falling apart. 0.99

00:57:36.000 That was actually, like, we got engaged before it, of course, but I was like, oh, I'm pretty sure. 0.92

00:57:42.000 I was a little gun-shy because I got married when I was in my 20s, and obviously that didn't work out too well, and I had my son, and I remember leaving my home there, and I was like, just want We're good to go.

00:58:08.000 And so I knew she was a good woman. 0.98

00:58:10.000 I knew that I could trust her, but especially when the shit goes down and everything's going bad. 0.99

00:58:15.000 And she's out there like, okay, well, what do we do? 0.99

00:58:17.000 What do we need to pull back on?

00:58:19.000 What can we, you know, purchase less of?

00:58:21.000 And then I thought I might have to go out of the country for this role for a few months. 0.99

00:58:26.000 And I was like, oh shit, I'll leave my son with her. 0.99

00:58:28.000 And I had no worry. 0.99

00:58:30.000 And I was like, even, you know, when he was with his mom, I would be worried, you know?

00:58:36.000 But with her...

00:58:37.000 I know she's got him.

00:58:38.000 I know she loves him.

00:58:39.000 I know she's got his best interest at heart.

00:58:41.000 And that really was when it clicked in.

00:58:43.000 And I was like, oh, this is my wife.

00:58:45.000 Like, this is my person.

00:58:46.000 That's beautiful.

00:58:47.000 I love stories like that.

00:58:49.000 Thank you.

00:58:50.000 That's amazing.

00:58:51.000 Congratulations.

00:58:51.000 Yeah, she's special.

00:58:53.000 She's a special person, I think, because she's a little small town Canadian lady. 1.00

00:58:56.000 So she doesn't know how hot she is, you know. 1.00

00:58:59.000 Yeah.

00:59:01.000 That could be a problem here.

00:59:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:59:04.000 Oh, she's figured it out.

00:59:06.000 She's figured it out. 1.00

00:59:07.000 A lot of guys, you know, try to hit on her every fucking day, but I'm not worried. 0.99

00:59:13.000 Good for you. 0.99

00:59:14.000 Good for you.

00:59:16.000 I wonder when this is going to end, the lockdown.

00:59:20.000 When are we going to get back to normal?

00:59:21.000 Are you going to be one of the first in line for a vaccine?

00:59:23.000 Are you going to wait it out?

00:59:24.000 I got to wait in the middle.

00:59:26.000 I got to be somewhere in the middle.

00:59:27.000 As a parent of a child with autism, vaccines scare me in some ways, but it's still obviously...

00:59:34.000 Do you think that vaccines cause autism?

00:59:36.000 I don't believe they cause autism.

00:59:38.000 I believe they can accelerate...

00:59:40.000 Certain things and people who maybe are predisposed to having it.

00:59:47.000 And I will tell you a personal story and people can choose to like it or not.

00:59:53.000 But I just remember the day that we got my son his first vaccinations.

00:59:59.000 He had been developing normally and just been chill and been talking and doing all the things pretty normally.

01:00:05.000 And then we got him the vaccine and me and my ex-wife, and we just remember he just kind of like was out of it.

01:00:11.000 And we even, because me and my ex-wife were big potheads, we were both like, oh, look how stoned he looks. 0.96

01:00:16.000 Look how fucking, he looks so stoned and he's out of it. 0.99

01:00:20.000 But he fucking never came back. 0.99

01:00:21.000 And so that was a moment where I was like, you know, I was like, I don't know if it caused it or that, but I was like, this is... 0.99

01:00:29.000 That's the story I can tell you.

01:00:31.000 Wow.

01:00:33.000 It's not the first time I've heard that.

01:00:38.000 A friend, my friend Johnny, had a very similar situation.

01:00:42.000 I don't, yeah, I don't know.

01:00:45.000 I know how adamant the people that make vaccines are that vaccines don't cause autism.

01:00:51.000 And I know it's a fiercely debated issue.

01:00:53.000 And in fact, Dr. Peter Hotez, who is an expert in vaccines, who actually has an autistic daughter, Is adamant about the fact that there's apparently different environmental factors that contribute to autism.

01:01:09.000 And they think all of it takes place during the womb.

01:01:13.000 But I don't know.

01:01:14.000 I can never be like, well, vaccine gave my son autism.

01:01:19.000 I would never say that.

01:01:21.000 But I will just tell you that story.

01:01:23.000 The thing is, if that story...

01:01:27.000 If that was the case...

01:01:31.000 How much do you think would ever get out that all these people who have this similar story all have a case against the pharmaceutical companies?

01:01:42.000 I mean, just wrap your mind around the legal troubles.

01:01:48.000 And I'm not saying that vaccines cause autism.

01:01:50.000 What I am saying is if they did, there would most certainly be an effort to conceal that.

01:01:56.000 Yeah.

01:01:57.000 Absolutely.

01:01:58.000 Most certainly.

01:01:59.000 Absolutely.

01:02:00.000 That would be a crazy lawsuit.

01:02:04.000 Because I mean, how many children are autistic in this country?

01:02:07.000 Do you know?

01:02:08.000 I don't know.

01:02:09.000 But I know it's a lot.

01:02:11.000 It's a lot.

01:02:12.000 And the question is...

01:02:13.000 The question's always been, are there more now because fathers are older, mothers are older, environmental factors, or that we're diagnosing it now, we didn't diagnose it before, we didn't understand it before.

01:02:26.000 I mean, the first time I even heard of autism was Rain Man.

01:02:30.000 Remember the Dustin Hoffman movie?

01:02:32.000 That was the first time I ever heard about it.

01:02:34.000 I didn't even know what it was.

01:02:35.000 I never met anybody who had autism, so I saw that and I was like, huh, what's going on there?

01:02:40.000 Yeah, same to me.

01:02:42.000 I never thought about it, never had any second thought about it at all until my son was diagnosed.

01:02:50.000 I had to become much more aware about it.

01:02:54.000 It's still a thing that I get hit with because I'm just a dummy because I'll be like, okay, my son's got his high school and he's doing well and he's going to his classes and then they have to actually sit there and they go like, okay, you know, he's getting a certificate, but you know this isn't a real, he's not a real high school graduate.

01:03:10.000 And I'm like, oh, oh, what?

01:03:13.000 You know?

01:03:14.000 No!

01:03:15.000 He's a high school graduate and I want my son to go to college! 1.00

01:03:17.000 And then I have to sit back and go like, oh wait, fuck. 1.00

01:03:21.000 We have a different road. 1.00

01:03:22.000 We have a different life.

01:03:23.000 And actually, this lockdown and everything has really been helpful in going through that and just being like, well, everything's fucking weird and different.

01:03:31.000 Because I'd always been like, well, no matter what, my son wants to go to UCLA. So I'll pay for him to go to UCLA, even if it's just life classes or whatever.

01:03:39.000 But...

01:03:41.000 Now I've been thinking about more like, okay, let's just figure out a way for him to be more independent on his own, physically, financially, whatever he can do.

01:03:50.000 He might not go to college.

01:03:52.000 He might go to college.

01:03:54.000 But, you know, again, if I make my show, I'm like, well, he's got to be a consultant on this show.

01:03:58.000 He's got to do this, he's got to do that.

01:03:59.000 I just want him to have a good life, basically.

01:04:04.000 Of course.

01:04:05.000 Is there anything that helps him?

01:04:07.000 Like, does anything alleviate some of his symptoms?

01:04:12.000 I mean...

01:04:14.000 Just the constant therapies that he's been in.

01:04:17.000 He's diagnosed when he was 2. He's 17 now.

01:04:20.000 So he's been in school since he was 2. Just doing different, you know, from pre-kindergarten therapies through voice therapy.

01:04:31.000 And I just think it's been that constant.

01:04:33.000 Right now he's getting a lot of social skills therapy where he was before everything got locked down.

01:04:39.000 He was doing this thing called the Miracle Project, which is awesome.

01:04:42.000 They just take kids from different.

01:04:46.000 We're good to go.

01:04:59.000 Found out I wasn't getting this role, and I was real upset. 0.95

01:05:02.000 It was on my vision board of, like, I want to fucking get this role. 0.91

01:05:05.000 And I didn't get it, and I was pissed off and doing the same thing. 1.00

01:05:08.000 Like, fuck Hollywood. 1.00

01:05:08.000 They don't understand. 1.00

01:05:09.000 They don't understand how good I am!

01:05:11.000 And then I just watched my son and all these other autistic teenagers do their own production of a play. 0.92

01:05:17.000 It's the silliest thing I've ever seen.

01:05:19.000 My son is singing the Spongebob theme song. 0.76

01:05:22.000 Another kid is singing a Drake song.

01:05:24.000 And just...

01:05:26.000 Seeing them go from being these awkward in their shell, looking down, looking at the floor, and then the moment that they're actually interested in something. 0.97

01:05:35.000 When my son hears this song play, or they know it's their turn to say their line, them light up and fucking just nail their line and be fucking great at it. 0.68

01:05:46.000 And I was like, man, that's what art is. 0.97

01:05:48.000 That's what I love is... 0.98

01:05:51.000 I don't give a shit about money about it. 0.94

01:05:53.000 I mean, it's nice to pay my bills, but I like this feeling that I get from it and of watching my son get to do it. 0.96

01:06:00.000 It just makes me feel good.

01:06:02.000 I'm sorry, this is a rambly-ass story. 0.61

01:06:03.000 No, no, no, that's not rambly at all, man.

01:06:05.000 You're expressing yourself.

01:06:07.000 That's not rambly at all.

01:06:08.000 Yeah, I mean, sometimes you need to be exposed to different things just to put it into perspective.

01:06:15.000 Just how fortunate we are and how fortunate, you know, how easy we really do have it and how good we really have it. 0.97

01:06:23.000 And sometimes, you know, when you have ambitious goals and you have, you know, your eyes are on the prize, you got a vision board and you're like, fuck, why isn't this happening for me? 0.93

01:06:31.000 Sometimes you got to see some struggle. 0.61

01:06:33.000 You got to see people that just aren't doing that well to realize like, oh, I'm all right.

01:06:38.000 Yeah.

01:06:39.000 Yeah, I've been made very well aware that I'm fucking doing extremely well. 0.96

01:06:45.000 Extremely. 0.90

01:06:46.000 That's one of the best things, I think, about COVID initially. 0.98

01:06:50.000 I mean, it just took too long and it's been too fucked up now. 0.98

01:06:53.000 But initially I felt like One of the good aspects of having this thing where you're forced to stay home and everybody's worried about a disease is like you realize like, hey, family, friends, loved ones, this is what's important. 0.97

01:07:08.000 All this other bullshit is like when the world is falling apart, the love that you have for your family and your friends, that's what's important.

01:07:17.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:07:18.000 Yeah.

01:07:19.000 It felt good like that for a couple of weeks and then everybody felt like they started tearing at each other.

01:07:24.000 Yeah.

01:07:24.000 They got scared.

01:07:25.000 Yeah.

01:07:26.000 Yeah. 0.88

01:07:26.000 I mean, God, social media is so fucking terrifying now. 0.88

01:07:29.000 Just dive into this pit of animals eating each other. 0.98

01:07:33.000 It's like, oof.

01:07:34.000 Everyone's so angry.

01:07:35.000 There's so much anger.

01:07:36.000 And then also, it's like the worst timing ever, right? 1.00

01:07:39.000 Trump and then the fucking elections are coming. 0.99

01:07:43.000 So there's all this chaos and... 1.00

01:07:46.000 Joe Biden can't talk and the fucking, you know, November's around the corner. 0.99

01:07:51.000 It's like, oh my God. 0.99

01:07:52.000 And then everything's still locked up and it's like, oh my God.

01:07:55.000 And they're talking about dropping down the unemployment check to 400 bucks instead of 600. And then they want the states to pay 25%.

01:08:03.000 The state's like, we don't have the fucking money. 0.99

01:08:05.000 Like, oh Jesus! 1.00

01:08:08.000 It's fucking nuts! 1.00

01:08:09.000 It's fucking nuts! 1.00

01:08:10.000 But then, you know, it's overwhelming until you just go to the basics of it. 0.99

01:08:14.000 That's something I always believed from when I was very young, and I think it's something as a young African-American man, pretty early, where you just go, nobody's got my fucking back. 0.97

01:08:23.000 I gotta take care of me. 0.98

01:08:24.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:08:25.000 No one's got my fucking back. 0.99

01:08:26.000 The government does not have our back. 0.99

01:08:28.000 Not at all.

01:08:29.000 And it's not possible.

01:08:30.000 Not one bit.

01:08:31.000 We have grossly overestimated their ability to actually, like, manage something like this.

01:08:36.000 Yeah.

01:08:37.000 Yeah.

01:08:37.000 Which is in turn why, like, I see what we see in that social media of us eating each other and going at each other, especially anyone that is considered of any stature.

01:08:47.000 I mean, I see it happen to you all the time, right?

01:08:49.000 With people coming at you for one thing or another. 0.99

01:08:53.000 I laugh about it because I'm just like, it's just fucking Joe! 0.98

01:08:56.000 Who cares if he doesn't like video games? 1.00

01:08:58.000 Who gives a fuck? 0.99

01:09:00.000 I don't care! 0.99

01:09:01.000 The problem is they didn't even listen to what I said.

01:09:03.000 It took a chunk of what I said and took it out of context.

01:09:06.000 I love video games.

01:09:07.000 That's the problem.

01:09:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:09:10.000 Old school Quaker.

01:09:11.000 Yeah, and I even talked about in that same clip And we wound up putting the full version of it online because someone had taken like a 50-second chunk of it.

01:09:20.000 But I even talked about those people that do make a living at it.

01:09:22.000 A lot of money.

01:09:23.000 There are people that do it.

01:09:24.000 Yeah.

01:09:25.000 But I'm saying for a lot of people that waste, if you want to do something else, like if you're trying to do something with your life, you can find things that will waste all of your time.

01:09:35.000 And that's one of them.

01:09:37.000 Yeah.

01:09:37.000 Well, I mean, I like streaming and I like playing games, but it's also the reason why I do the comedy and I do other things is because...

01:09:45.000 I think at the very base of it, there's no stability of trying to make your living off of someone else's product, right?

01:09:53.000 You're playing someone else's game.

01:09:55.000 It's not yours, you know?

01:09:57.000 So at any moment, that can be taken away from you.

01:10:00.000 And so on that small level is what I believe in what you were saying completely.

01:10:06.000 But I think the reason why people attack so much is because The people who we're told are supposed to be our leaders are obviously not, and then people are just looking for leaders.

01:10:15.000 So if you have a big platform, they're just like, oh, you're a leader.

01:10:20.000 I had people do that to me.

01:10:22.000 When the whole George Floyd thing was happening and Breonna Taylor was happening, one guy in particular just kept...

01:10:31.000 When are you going to talk about it?

01:10:34.000 When are you going to make a post about it? 0.99

01:10:35.000 And what he didn't know is I was going through my own personal shit. 0.98

01:10:38.000 A friend of mine had committed suicide that very week in a home that I had lived in three years prior. 1.00

01:10:43.000 And I was fucking... 0.99

01:10:46.000 Dealing with that and dealing with my own life. 0.99

01:10:48.000 And so I was like, you know, who gives a fuck when I talk about anything? 0.97

01:10:52.000 You have no obligation to talk about anything. 0.98

01:10:54.000 I have no obligation.

01:10:55.000 And so it pissed me off. 0.65

01:10:56.000 But then I thought about it and I go, oh, he's not fucking mad at me. 0.99

01:11:00.000 He doesn't give a shit about me. 0.99

01:11:02.000 He's scared. 0.99

01:11:03.000 He's scared shitless.

01:11:04.000 And he's looking for someone to lead him.

01:11:06.000 And he was hoping it would be me.

01:11:08.000 But there's also people look for an opportunity to get upset at you for not complying.

01:11:13.000 Like that there's a narrative where you're supposed to be discussing whatever's in the news, whatever's going on.

01:11:19.000 There's a narrative that you are, you know, you're a person who talks, so you should be discussing these things.

01:11:24.000 Yeah.

01:11:24.000 You're a public figure, so you should lend your voice because they think you should.

01:11:29.000 This is the dumbest fucking thing ever because you're just like, well, how do you assume I think about black lives? 1.00

01:11:34.000 I'm a black man. 1.00

01:11:36.000 I would like my life to matter. 0.99

01:11:38.000 Why do I gotta go around talking about it for fucking all day? 0.99

01:11:43.000 Gumming up the works takes up too much fucking time. 0.99

01:11:45.000 I agree with that completely. 0.98

01:11:46.000 You should be able to talk about whatever you want.

01:11:48.000 One of my favorite follows on Instagram is Lil Duval.

01:11:51.000 Oh yeah!

01:11:52.000 And Little Duvall, through all this craziness, he's just maintaining being Little Duvall and having fun.

01:11:58.000 That sounds like him.

01:12:00.000 Always.

01:12:01.000 Always light-hearted, having a good time, always laughing.

01:12:04.000 His Instagram is one of the most consistently happy things.

01:12:08.000 And that shows his character.

01:12:10.000 Through all this, he's maintained his sense of humor and his perspective.

01:12:14.000 Yeah!

01:12:15.000 That's power!

01:12:16.000 That's power!

01:12:17.000 Why would you ever let someone take that away from you?

01:12:20.000 We're here to have fun.

01:12:21.000 We're here to have a good time. 0.99

01:12:22.000 So, no matter what the circumstances, I'm gonna have a fucking good time. 0.95

01:12:26.000 I learned that in my sets long ago when I was like, well, you guys might not have a good time tonight, but I will. 0.95

01:12:35.000 Yeah, sometimes you have to, right?

01:12:37.000 You have to go internal.

01:12:38.000 I am really interested to see how we recover from this.

01:12:43.000 I'm really interested to see, because we're in such uncharted territory.

01:12:47.000 This is new waters, and it could go good or it could go bad.

01:12:51.000 I mean, every single republic, every single empire that has existed before the United States has crumbled.

01:12:56.000 All of them.

01:12:57.000 They all crumble eventually.

01:12:59.000 My fear is the ones that are strong, why we are falling apart, are dangerous.

01:13:05.000 They're dangerous societies that are dictatorships, like China. 0.98

01:13:10.000 If China somehow or another becomes the way they're controlling Hong Kong, controls the United States, we got real fucking problems on our hands. 0.95

01:13:18.000 Now, I don't know if that's really possible, if this is just like some fear We see bits of it all the time, right? 0.94

01:13:25.000 In business, you see the way that these so-called independent enterprises refuse to speak on certain things because there's just so much money involved.

01:13:36.000 When it gets to that point, you are owned.

01:13:38.000 Yes.

01:13:39.000 Did you ever see that thing where the World Health Organization guy won't talk about Taiwan, won't even mention Taiwan?

01:13:43.000 He's in an interview, because China does not recognize Taiwan.

01:13:47.000 They believe Taiwan is a part of China, and Taiwan thinks it's independent.

01:13:50.000 So the woman interviewer was asking this guy who works for the World Health Organization, Taiwan has done a wonderful job of handling this, and he's like, Click.

01:14:00.000 He just disconnects.

01:14:01.000 And then he comes back.

01:14:03.000 Like, you could see him reach over and disconnect it.

01:14:06.000 She goes, well, we seem to have disconnected.

01:14:08.000 He goes, but now we're back.

01:14:09.000 So what I was saying was that China, well, China's done a wonderful job.

01:14:13.000 You know, there's no need to talk about that any further, so let's keep going.

01:14:16.000 So he would not even say the word Taiwan.

01:14:19.000 And, like, this is the World Health Organization.

01:14:21.000 Like, you won't say the name of an actual country?

01:14:27.000 Like, really?

01:14:29.000 That's bananas.

01:14:30.000 Like, well, I can't trust you.

01:14:32.000 No.

01:14:33.000 You won't even say Taiwan? 0.99

01:14:34.000 What the fuck else won't you say? 0.98

01:14:36.000 You know, I mean, there's been a few of those things, man. 1.00

01:14:39.000 What you see and you go, God damn. 0.97

01:14:42.000 Just so many businesses have a vested interest in China and keeping relationships with China. 1.00

01:14:49.000 And while COVID is happening and the economic downturn, they've been buying up shit left and right. 0.97

01:14:55.000 Oh, yeah. 0.94

01:14:55.000 I mean, because, again, as a big gamer, Tencent is big in the game industry as owners of just about everything. 0.94

01:15:03.000 And that's one of the biggest companies in China.

01:15:05.000 What do they make?

01:15:06.000 Everything.

01:15:07.000 Like what games?

01:15:08.000 I think they own Fortnite now.

01:15:10.000 They own a bit of PUBG, I believe.

01:15:14.000 They own percentages of just about every company. 1.00

01:15:20.000 Goddamn. 0.99

01:15:21.000 And China owns them? 0.99

01:15:22.000 Yeah.

01:15:27.000 I don't know how I feel about that.

01:15:32.000 Like when Trump was saying he's going to ban TikTok, I was like, ooh, I want to see how this plays out.

01:15:37.000 Yeah.

01:15:37.000 Yeah, that is actually, I was like, oh, that's positive.

01:15:43.000 In a way, it is, right?

01:15:44.000 It is.

01:15:45.000 It is.

01:15:46.000 But then Instagram came along with Reels.

01:15:49.000 Yeah.

01:15:49.000 Like their TikTok ripoff.

01:15:50.000 I don't know who's using that, though.

01:15:52.000 Is anybody using Reels?

01:15:53.000 I keep an eye on you. 1.00

01:15:56.000 A little busy to pay attention to that shit this week. 1.00

01:15:59.000 Yeah, we've had a busy week. 0.99

01:16:01.000 Do you TikTok?

01:16:03.000 No, man.

01:16:04.000 No, no, no.

01:16:04.000 You know, I figure you shouldn't be a comedian over 30 on TikTok.

01:16:08.000 That seems to not go well.

01:16:09.000 It seems like it doesn't go well.

01:16:11.000 Mm-mm.

01:16:14.000 Someone just got a special off doing it, basically, though.

01:16:16.000 Who?

01:16:16.000 Sarah Cooper just got a Netflix special.

01:16:18.000 What?

01:16:19.000 Oh, is that?

01:16:20.000 You sent me that.

01:16:20.000 That's the lady who lip syncs.

01:16:22.000 I'm wondering who that is.

01:16:23.000 She lip syncs Donald Trump's speeches.

01:16:26.000 Oh, okay.

01:16:26.000 That's gonna go good.

01:16:27.000 I'm excited for that.

01:16:33.000 There's many things that are viral that I understand.

01:16:35.000 That is not one of them.

01:16:37.000 I've watched that.

01:16:38.000 I was like, she's just saying what he's saying, but she's doing it.

01:16:41.000 Like, there's nothing else to it.

01:16:43.000 But she's a stand-up? 0.99

01:16:44.000 I don't know.

01:16:46.000 No?

01:16:47.000 No.

01:16:47.000 What does she do?

01:16:48.000 Does she just do that? 1.00

01:16:49.000 Yeah.

01:16:50.000 She just hosted Jimmy Kimmel like two nights ago.

01:16:52.000 What?

01:16:52.000 I saw that.

01:16:53.000 That's why I was like, because I looked her up and I go, oh, I don't know who that is.

01:16:56.000 Maybe she's not good.

01:16:57.000 But then I saw the Jimmy Kimmel thing.

01:16:59.000 So then I go, oh, maybe this whole time she's been grinding and I just did not know.

01:17:03.000 Nope.

01:17:04.000 I thought as far as I know.

01:17:05.000 What does she do? 1.00

01:17:06.000 Is she a writer or something?

01:17:07.000 Yeah, she's a writer. 0.99

01:17:08.000 Oh, she's a comedy writer?

01:17:19.000 Hmm.

01:17:20.000 She's a writer. 0.76

01:17:21.000 Hmm.

01:17:26.000 Maybe.

01:17:26.000 Who knows?

01:17:27.000 I mean, listen, she might have a fucking Netflix special that turns out amazing. 0.99

01:17:30.000 Either way, she gets a good check. 0.98

01:17:33.000 I'm happy for her.

01:17:33.000 Somebody told me Seth Meyers' Netflix special was very good.

01:17:36.000 And he's...

01:17:37.000 I don't think he's really a stand-up, right?

01:17:39.000 That's not his background.

01:17:41.000 He was an SNL guy, and then he hosted that late-night show.

01:17:45.000 But I talked to people that said his special was very good.

01:17:48.000 I haven't seen it.

01:17:50.000 I just want to see Sam J's. 0.96

01:17:52.000 That's the only one I want.

01:17:53.000 I haven't watched it, but I want to.

01:17:54.000 Who's?

01:17:55.000 Sam J. Do you know her?

01:17:56.000 Um, I do.

01:17:59.000 Yes.

01:18:00.000 Yeah, she's a writer for SNL. I know who she is. 0.72

01:18:03.000 Powerful black butch lesbian. 1.00

01:18:04.000 Yes, that's right. 1.00

01:18:05.000 That's right.

01:18:06.000 That's right.

01:18:06.000 Yeah.

01:18:07.000 Great joke writer.

01:18:08.000 Yeah, I've met her at the store, I believe.

01:18:09.000 Yeah.

01:18:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:18:10.000 Oh, there she is.

01:18:11.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:18:11.000 Yeah, looks a lot like me.

01:18:12.000 Looks like my sister.

01:18:13.000 Yeah.

01:18:17.000 Yeah, the Netflix...

01:18:18.000 Actually looks like my tougher brother.

01:18:20.000 Wow!

01:18:22.000 The Netflix thing is so interesting, because they've basically taken over the stand-up comedy special now.

01:18:29.000 Yeah.

01:18:29.000 Interesting.

01:18:30.000 It used to be Comedy Central.

01:18:32.000 It's really...

01:18:33.000 Comedy Central...

01:18:34.000 Getting people to watch the streaming online Comedy Central specials, it's just not the same.

01:18:39.000 Yeah, I know. 0.99

01:18:39.000 And then they geo-block that shit, so... 0.99

01:18:41.000 Oh, do they really? 1.00

01:18:42.000 Yeah.

01:18:43.000 Oh, no.

01:18:43.000 Mm-hmm.

01:18:44.000 So, like, if you're in the UK, you can't watch it?

01:18:46.000 Mm-mm.

01:18:46.000 Oh, no.

01:18:47.000 I don't know why that's a smart decision.

01:18:49.000 That's a terrible decision.

01:18:51.000 Who made that one?

01:18:52.000 Someone higher than the people I talk to, I guess.

01:18:55.000 So your special that you did for Comedy Central, they geo-blocked that?

01:19:01.000 Yeah, they geo-blocked that, and then they put it out.

01:19:03.000 So now it's actually out on YouTube for free right now for 30 days.

01:19:06.000 So I was stoked.

01:19:07.000 I was like, oh, people in Canada and the UK can finally see it.

01:19:09.000 And then I was getting messages being like, no, we can't.

01:19:13.000 Oh, wow.

01:19:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:19:15.000 That's stupid. 1.00

01:19:16.000 Isn't that the best decision? 0.99

01:19:18.000 Just not to confuse what we were just talking about, her does not have a stand-up special according to the press release.

01:19:25.000 It's a comedy special that will be full of vignettes dealing with issues of politics, race, gender, class, and other subjects.

01:19:31.000 Short interview sketches and more shenanigans.

01:19:33.000 Oh, so it's a writer.

01:19:34.000 She wrote something.

01:19:36.000 Pitched something.

01:19:37.000 A sketch show event.

01:19:38.000 Yeah, but it's...

01:19:39.000 I just got...

01:19:40.000 It was weird to me that things were going viral because...

01:19:44.000 She was just lip-syncing things the president had said.

01:19:47.000 So it would be like the president's voice and it would be her lip-syncing it.

01:19:50.000 And everybody would be like, this is amazing.

01:19:51.000 And I'd be like, she's just saying the words with her lips while he talks.

01:19:59.000 Like, what's...

01:20:00.000 Missing something.

01:20:01.000 Yeah.

01:20:02.000 Well, you know, we we are around a comedy a lot.

01:20:05.000 That's what I always have to remember is that my palate is, you know, more refined.

01:20:10.000 Yeah, I think it's also like there's a gene for certain things.

01:20:14.000 You know, like I don't have that Grateful Dead gene.

01:20:17.000 People love the Grateful Dead.

01:20:18.000 They love it.

01:20:19.000 They love it.

01:20:20.000 I listen.

01:20:21.000 I go, okay.

01:20:22.000 I don't want to be mad.

01:20:24.000 I just you You and I are different.

01:20:27.000 It's okay.

01:20:29.000 It's okay.

01:20:30.000 No need to be angry.

01:20:32.000 Yeah, I had no love.

01:20:33.000 Did you get it?

01:20:34.000 No, I couldn't tell you a song.

01:20:36.000 Trucking.

01:20:37.000 That's a good one.

01:20:40.000 Well, you said you didn't like them, but you really got into it.

01:20:45.000 I tried to sell it.

01:20:47.000 I don't want to tell you in touch of gray.

01:20:52.000 They had some cool-ass Nike shoes they put out recently.

01:20:55.000 Did they?

01:20:55.000 Yeah, but they went up to like $1,200 real quick.

01:20:59.000 Yeah, so I was like, that's out of my COVID price range for sure.

01:21:04.000 Yeah, it's a lot of white people that do acid. 1.00

01:21:06.000 Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. 0.80

01:21:07.000 Rich White Yup, he's one of those shoes for sure.

01:21:10.000 For sure.

01:21:12.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:21:13.000 You know I want those.

01:21:15.000 Oh, those are pretty trippy.

01:21:16.000 The green ones?

01:21:17.000 Come on! 0.61

01:21:18.000 They do look pretty trippy.

01:21:19.000 Mm-hmm.

01:21:20.000 Really weird.

01:21:21.000 Put those on the comedy store stage?

01:21:22.000 Come on! 0.61

01:21:23.000 Mm-hmm.

01:21:24.000 What's up with the bear?

01:21:26.000 I think that's their logo.

01:21:27.000 That's their logo.

01:21:27.000 A bear?

01:21:28.000 Yeah, I looked into it one time because I didn't know either.

01:21:31.000 He's named after their engineer who was one of the guys that developed LSD, I think, or something like that.

01:21:38.000 What?

01:21:38.000 Yeah.

01:21:39.000 I'll pull up his name again in just a second to show you.

01:21:42.000 One of the guys, but Albert Hoffman synthesized LSD. Right, but up here.

01:21:46.000 So he's like a guy who worked with Hoffman?

01:21:48.000 When I looked it up, he said it hit like somewhere in the range of like four million hits of acid he's responsible for.

01:21:55.000 Something insane.

01:21:56.000 Wow!

01:21:57.000 I wonder how many ideas can directly be traced to that guy's work.

01:22:02.000 A lot of ideas will come to you through acid.

01:22:05.000 I've never done acid.

01:22:06.000 Want to do it now?

01:22:07.000 Mm-mm.

01:22:08.000 Okay.

01:22:10.000 You should try microdosing it.

01:22:12.000 I'd be up to it.

01:22:14.000 It's interesting.

01:22:15.000 I like mushrooms.

01:22:17.000 Owlsley Stanley.

01:22:35.000 Five million doses.

01:22:39.000 Oh! 0.60

01:22:40.000 Ooh! 0.96

01:22:41.000 Stanley was the first known private individual to manufacture mass quantities of LSD by his own account between 65 and 67. Only in two years, he produced no less than 500 grams of LSD, accounting to a little more than 5 million doses.

01:22:58.000 And his professional name was Bear.

01:22:59.000 Oh, interesting.

01:23:01.000 So that's why.

01:23:02.000 So they're just like tied to LSD, the dead. 0.99

01:23:06.000 And he's the engineer that engineered the music, so that's why they say you have to be on that shit to understand the sound. 0.99

01:23:13.000 Yeah, that's what they say. 0.99

01:23:15.000 I mean, everyone I know who does acid loves the dead when they're on acid.

01:23:20.000 It's called the Wall of Sound sound system.

01:23:23.000 I thought that was Phil Spector.

01:23:25.000 That's a different thing.

01:23:26.000 Oh, he has his own wall sound.

01:23:30.000 This Phil Spector case is one of the creepiest Hollywood cases ever.

01:23:36.000 I remember when he got arrested, and then I didn't really know who he was, and I did a deep dive into who he was after he got arrested for murder, and apparently that was his thing, like pulling guns on people. 0.98

01:23:48.000 But when you see him in the trial with all his crazy wigs on, you realize this crazy motherfucker was involved with some of the biggest bands, some of the best music, and he was a psychopath the entire time. 0.93

01:24:02.000 Yeah, but I think, especially back then, even now, our type of businesses can kind of hide those people, right? 0.99

01:24:08.000 They don't...

01:24:09.000 I've always hung out with, as long as I've done comedy, I was like, oh, that guy's a drug dealer, this guy does...

01:24:15.000 That guy's Jesus!

01:24:17.000 Just to clarify, too, his wall of sound is a production formula to make records, whereas the engineers was an actual, like, wall of sound of...

01:24:28.000 Physical sound amplifier speakers that was touring around the country to make noise to blast in your face.

01:24:36.000 Oh, okay.

01:24:37.000 They both called the same thing.

01:24:38.000 Okay, so he had developed something for touring that they called The Walls.

01:24:41.000 Okay, yeah. 0.95

01:24:43.000 I don't know jack shit about music. 0.89

01:24:45.000 Do you play any instruments? 0.98

01:24:47.000 No, never.

01:24:48.000 Played piano when I was very young, but no.

01:24:52.000 Yeah, that's another one of those things where I feel like if I got into that...

01:24:56.000 I mean, if you start playing guitar or something like that, that seems like a long road.

01:25:03.000 Yeah, you gotta choose.

01:25:04.000 It has to be your passion.

01:25:06.000 Whenever I picked up an instrument, it always felt real foreign.

01:25:09.000 It never felt at home at all.

01:25:12.000 Yeah, but it seems like a dope thing to learn.

01:25:15.000 Yeah.

01:25:15.000 Like, I wish I could shred.

01:25:17.000 I just wish I could play something on the piano.

01:25:19.000 It seems like, you know, people just fall in love if you could play the piano.

01:25:22.000 Right, you'd be sophisticated.

01:25:24.000 You just sit down someplace and you just start playing the piano?

01:25:28.000 Right, you walk into a hotel and there's a hotel lobby.

01:25:30.000 There's a nice bar there with the piano.

01:25:32.000 You're like, let me sit down and play you a melody.

01:25:35.000 Yeah, and everybody starts gathering around you.

01:25:37.000 Yeah, they think you're cool.

01:25:39.000 That's a thing.

01:25:40.000 But that's like that scene in Animal House where the dude's playing the guitar at a party.

01:25:46.000 Remember that scene?

01:25:47.000 Sort of, yeah.

01:25:48.000 Do you remember that scene?

01:25:50.000 No, you could tell I was blanking.

01:25:53.000 I know what you're talking about because it's an old joke, but I'm not a big Animal House guy.

01:25:58.000 Yeah, he steals the guitar from him and smashes him over the head with it.

01:26:01.000 No, he didn't smash him over the head with it.

01:26:03.000 He broke the guitar.

01:26:05.000 Yeah.

01:26:06.000 This guy.

01:26:07.000 This scene.

01:26:10.000 Can we get a little volume?

01:26:13.000 John Belushi is listening to this guy playing this horrible folk music.

01:26:23.000 Yeah, I know.

01:26:25.000 YouTube will have an issue.

01:26:27.000 Google those words, you'll find it.

01:26:32.000 Back in the day when this is what everybody wanted to do.

01:26:37.000 Sorry.

01:26:39.000 Did you ever see Animal House?

01:26:41.000 Yeah.

01:26:42.000 Probably when I was young.

01:26:43.000 Don't recall it.

01:26:44.000 It's a classic.

01:26:45.000 It seems very slow now, though.

01:26:47.000 It is.

01:26:48.000 That's the problem.

01:26:49.000 There's a lot of those movies that just don't hold up.

01:26:51.000 I tried to watch Porky's the other day.

01:26:53.000 I was like, this is a rape movie. 0.94

01:26:56.000 Terrible movie.

01:26:57.000 I saw two things get announced yesterday for the projects maybe that won't get made, but Three Men and a Baby remake, and then a potential Fresh Prince reboot, but a drama, not a comedy.

01:27:08.000 What?

01:27:08.000 Yeah.

01:27:10.000 What?

01:27:11.000 Why can't they just come up with new ideas?

01:27:14.000 I agree with that.

01:27:15.000 Listen, how about a show where there's a comedian who has an autistic kid?

01:27:18.000 Sounds great.

01:27:20.000 Does it come out soon?

01:27:21.000 Yeah, it should be like a Netflix thing.

01:27:22.000 Or maybe Amazon Prime.

01:27:24.000 They do a good job.

01:27:25.000 You ever seen The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?

01:27:27.000 I have not.

01:27:28.000 It's very good.

01:27:29.000 Especially the first two seasons.

01:27:30.000 It kind of soured for me the third season, but...

01:27:34.000 It's a pretty good representation of stand-up.

01:27:36.000 I mean, not perfect, but pretty good.

01:27:40.000 Pretty good.

01:27:41.000 Like, close enough.

01:27:42.000 Where you go, huh.

01:27:44.000 That's just funny hearing you watch that show, because I don't think anybody would think that you would watch that show.

01:27:49.000 Why is that?

01:27:49.000 Because it's just funny, like, Joe Rogan just going like, you know what I like?

01:27:52.000 Marvelous Mrs. Maze! 1.00

01:27:54.000 I like a lot of girly shit. 1.00

01:27:56.000 I do. 1.00

01:27:58.000 Well, then you gotta get on that 90 Day Fiance.

01:28:00.000 I don't know if I can go that far.

01:28:02.000 Think about it.

01:28:03.000 I like Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. 1.00

01:28:05.000 Yeah, that's my shit. 0.99

01:28:07.000 That's the optimistic and charming. 1.00

01:28:09.000 Come on! 0.99

01:28:12.000 That's a funny fucking show though, right? 0.99

01:28:14.000 Yes. 0.99

01:28:14.000 That's a good show. 0.99

01:28:15.000 They got like eight seasons.

01:28:18.000 Yeah, that was a good one.

01:28:19.000 I mean, and so bleak. 0.98

01:28:21.000 You know, that's the type of shit I like when you can take bleak things and still be so funny. 0.99

01:28:26.000 The bleakest. 1.00

01:28:26.000 I mean, someone who got kidnapped and forced into a sex cult in a fucking bunker. 1.00

01:28:31.000 And then 15 years later, she gets out with a super positive attitude and is facing all the modern world's issues. 0.99

01:28:37.000 Yeah, it's fucking great. 0.94

01:28:39.000 She's such an amazing actress. 0.99

01:28:40.000 Yeah, well, it's a Tina Fey show too, that lady. 1.00

01:28:43.000 She figures shit out. 0.99

01:28:44.000 She sure does. 1.00

01:28:46.000 So, um...

01:28:48.000 This vision board, this ultimate vision board, the ultimate thing is a show and movies and stuff like that.

01:28:54.000 Is there anything that you have made manifest that's actually happened because of this vision board?

01:28:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:28:59.000 My house was one of my first major vision board things.

01:29:03.000 I put that when I didn't have a house, living in my apartment.

01:29:07.000 And what it does for me is just kind of...

01:29:10.000 It focuses me. 0.96

01:29:11.000 It gives me a direction instead of just being this guy who doesn't have his hands on the rudder or the oar or whatever the fucking thing that steers the boat. 0.95

01:29:20.000 And so I was like, oh, I want to get this house. 0.88

01:29:21.000 And so in order to get the house, I had to stop just like...

01:29:26.000 Not paying attention to my money.

01:29:27.000 I had to stop just buying random sneakers every week.

01:29:30.000 I had to start being like, okay, I need to build my credit. 0.98

01:29:32.000 I had to pay these old bills from when I was 20 and didn't pay those off because I didn't think I'd ever have fucking money. 0.94

01:29:38.000 So who cares if I skipped out on this rent? 0.83

01:29:40.000 You know, I had to go back and undo all these things so that I could get to that ultimate vision of getting the house and then we end up I haven't had my house for two years now. 0.74

01:29:50.000 I fucking love it.

01:29:51.000 I put that I wanted to be on Reno 911 in there, and I taped that. 0.98

01:29:54.000 I don't know if I got cut out or not, because it's a six-minute Quibi thing. 1.00

01:29:58.000 But a lot of things I put on my vision board end up happening. 0.97

01:30:02.000 That's interesting that you say that you had to go and redo things that you fucked up. 0.82

01:30:11.000 What brought you to that decision? 0.79

01:30:13.000 If I wanted to move in a lot of ways in my life, the same with dealing with my ex-wife and things like that, I had to go to therapy.

01:30:22.000 I had to start I wasn't trusting anyone.

01:30:26.000 I was like, anyone who wants to hang out with me is just because I have a little bit of money or because I've been on a couple of shows or doing that, which is so ridiculous. 0.94

01:30:33.000 I was like, no, most people don't even fucking know me, you know? 0.58

01:30:35.000 But some people did, and sometimes that would happen. 0.94

01:30:39.000 People would be hanging out with me just because they thought I could introduce them to a fun party or someone else cooler than me.

01:30:46.000 And I had to...

01:30:48.000 Stopped looking for that and being so worried about that and I had to go and do just a mindset.

01:30:55.000 I think...

01:30:56.000 This rapper, I also really like, Waka Flocka Flame.

01:30:58.000 Many people talk about this.

01:30:59.000 I just changed my mindset from a survival mindset to a thrive mindset.

01:31:03.000 Like, oh, I am okay.

01:31:05.000 I am fine.

01:31:06.000 So I can go ahead and just take care of this business.

01:31:09.000 I'm going to get more work.

01:31:10.000 I'm going to get more jobs because I've proven myself.

01:31:13.000 It's not a fluke.

01:31:14.000 It's not a mistake that they made in hiring me.

01:31:20.000 I'm going to be here.

01:31:22.000 What made you like, where did you come up with this idea to sort of correct your mindset?

01:31:28.000 Was it just like realizing personally that the way you were looking at things was wrong or did you read something?

01:31:34.000 It was just mostly that things in my life were getting better but I wasn't getting happier.

01:31:40.000 I had more money.

01:31:41.000 I had anything I could buy video game wise, all that stuff. 0.75

01:31:46.000 I was having a bunch of sex, but I wasn't happier. 0.58

01:31:49.000 I was still lonely.

01:31:51.000 I was still not doing all the things I wanted to do.

01:31:56.000 I was chasing things just for money, you know?

01:32:00.000 And so I had to just kind of take a step back and go like, okay, don't just chase every single thing you see.

01:32:08.000 Figure out what you really go back to like when you started stand-up.

01:32:12.000 I'm like, what do you want?

01:32:13.000 And all I wanted when I started stand-up was to be able to pay my bills and do the things I want to do.

01:32:18.000 And that hasn't changed.

01:32:20.000 Was this a gradual process?

01:32:21.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:32:22.000 For sure.

01:32:23.000 Like a couple years.

01:32:24.000 So you just realized, was it like you're sitting at home?

01:32:27.000 This was not from reading anything?

01:32:29.000 It was just from you recognizing that something was wrong?

01:32:32.000 It was me recognizing something was wrong in me and me watching the people around me.

01:32:37.000 Me watching people with more success than me.

01:32:42.000 Just seeing that, like, oh, okay, I feel this way and I have this little bit of money, but maybe if I get more money, I won't. 0.99

01:32:50.000 But then meeting people with millions of dollars and being like, oh, holy shit. 0.99

01:32:54.000 Some people still don't have their shit together, no matter how much money they have. 0.99

01:32:58.000 And some people know exactly who they are. 0.98

01:33:02.000 They know what they want.

01:33:04.000 They are happy within themselves.

01:33:08.000 And I want it to be that.

01:33:12.000 It's very interesting that you recognized it and made the adjustment.

01:33:16.000 That's a sign of a strong mind.

01:33:19.000 You were able to recognize that the current patterns that you were operating under weren't fulfilling your needs.

01:33:26.000 So you had to assess, but then also move forward and make a change.

01:33:31.000 That's a very difficult thing to do.

01:33:34.000 Yeah, it's difficult.

01:33:36.000 Did that coincide with weight loss?

01:33:38.000 It was probably a little bit after the weight loss, but the weight loss kind of gives me the motivation for it.

01:33:45.000 My whole life has been motivation for every other step I take.

01:33:49.000 I came from just being a college dropout with a son when I was 20. He was diagnosed with autism when I was 23. I didn't have any money.

01:33:57.000 My ex-wife was more of an albatross around our thing. 1.00

01:34:01.000 I have full custody of my son, so it was just like... 0.99

01:34:06.000 I gotta figure this shit out. 1.00

01:34:08.000 And once we had a little apartment and everything, I was like, okay, well, I fucking figured this shit out. 1.00

01:34:12.000 I get my health together. 0.98

01:34:13.000 And that was a big one because my doctor even told me, she was like, you know, there's so many people.

01:34:18.000 I tell all the time, just diet, exercise, diet, exercise.

01:34:22.000 You need to lose weight.

01:34:23.000 You need to get better. 0.95

01:34:23.000 You're going to die. 0.95

01:34:24.000 I tell this to the people all the time. 1.00

01:34:26.000 And you go, you know how many of my fucking patients have done anything about it? 0.99

01:34:31.000 And then she says, you. 0.99

01:34:32.000 That's it.

01:34:33.000 You're the only one that I know, that I've talked to about this, who's just done it through diet and exercise. 1.00

01:34:39.000 So you have a—and she was just like, you have a strong fucking mind. 0.99

01:34:42.000 So I took that to heart, and I was like, well, fuck, if I can do that, if I can lose 140 pounds, fucking throw—you know, I would work out, throw up, and, you know, I'd give this more to my trainer. 1.00

01:34:55.000 He would just be like, all right, you throw up, let's— Yeah. 0.99

01:34:57.000 Can you breathe?

01:34:58.000 All right, let's get back at it, you know?

01:35:00.000 Yeah.

01:35:00.000 You know, where a lot of times people would throw up and they'd be like, okay, well, that was enough for today, you know?

01:35:04.000 He would never push.

01:35:06.000 He told me day one, he's like, you're a very strong man and we're going to just unlock what you've been covering up with bad decisions.

01:35:14.000 It's so true what your doctor said, and it's so interesting.

01:35:18.000 When you think about the goals that people have, like one of the major goals, if you asked Americans, like what do you want to do besides be successful, have a family, have a career, they want to lose weight.

01:35:30.000 But what I said at the beginning of this podcast, you've done one of the most difficult things a person could do, because you didn't just lose weight.

01:35:36.000 You lost a fuckload of weight, and you kept it off.

01:35:39.000 And that, to me, is so... 0.81

01:35:43.000 It's such a...

01:35:44.000 It's the craziest thing.

01:35:46.000 It's not like gaining weight.

01:35:49.000 Gaining weight requires you got to eat all that food.

01:35:52.000 You got to really get after it. 0.99

01:35:54.000 If you really want to gain weight, man, you got to fucking put on that. 0.98

01:35:57.000 You got to be there to eat. 0.99

01:35:59.000 You got to get it done.

01:36:00.000 People have no problem with that.

01:36:02.000 But the not eating, you're literally asking someone to not do something.

01:36:07.000 Just don't do something.

01:36:09.000 And it's harder to do than to do something.

01:36:12.000 Yeah.

01:36:13.000 And then the exercise is maybe even harder to do than to not eat.

01:36:18.000 Those are two really difficult things to do that you need to do both of them in order to really get your health in order, in order to really lose weight.

01:36:25.000 And everybody knows it!

01:36:26.000 Yeah.

01:36:26.000 Everybody knows it, but nobody does it!

01:36:28.000 Yeah.

01:36:28.000 And then they always want to know, what's the trick?

01:36:30.000 What's the trick?

01:36:31.000 No fucking trick, bro. 0.99

01:36:33.000 There's no trick. 1.00

01:36:34.000 Trick is to walk through that door, especially with exercise.

01:36:36.000 It is just like a door.

01:36:37.000 And that's what my wife said to me. 0.93

01:36:39.000 She was like, oh, you went from...

01:36:41.000 She's like, you were a guy who didn't exercise, and now you're a guy that exercises.

01:36:45.000 She's like, there's no part of you...

01:36:47.000 That gets up and goes, oh, this is hard.

01:36:49.000 Why am I doing this?

01:36:50.000 It's just like, this is what you do because this is what you do. 0.97

01:36:52.000 And the hardest part is making that transition because you go through that first three weeks and you're just like, I fucking hate this. 0.99

01:36:59.000 Why the fuck am I doing it? 0.99

01:37:00.000 You're looking at, you know, back when we could go to gyms, you're looking at other people going, oh, well, they're fucking attractive and this and that. 1.00

01:37:06.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:37:07.000 And I'll never be like that.

01:37:09.000 You know, and you just gotta get rid of all that.

01:37:11.000 I hate that.

01:37:11.000 I hate it when I see that in comedy.

01:37:13.000 Just mostly because I'm used to it.

01:37:15.000 I know where it comes from and I had that in myself when people were like, I don't exercise. 0.63

01:37:20.000 And they're so fucking proud of it, you know? 0.99

01:37:23.000 I'm just like, well, okay, we'll see you in 10 years when you change your fucking mind or you just aren't successful. 1.00

01:37:29.000 Or you're dying. 1.00

01:37:30.000 Yeah.

01:37:31.000 That's the only thing I would tell young me.

01:37:33.000 Everything I've done, I'm like, well, that's my process, and I'm glad I wouldn't change a thing. 0.99

01:37:39.000 The only thing I would have done is told young me, like, hey, motherfucker, if you want to be successful, you just got to be healthy. 0.99

01:37:46.000 So just get at it. 0.99

01:37:47.000 It's just better for your brain, too, man.

01:37:49.000 You think better.

01:37:50.000 I am very fortunate in that I got into exercising and working out very, very young.

01:37:56.000 I've never not done it.

01:37:57.000 But for me, if I don't do it, I don't think right.

01:38:03.000 I'm just...

01:38:05.000 And I think it's also, it has to be, because I've been doing it so long, that my brain has this requirement to burn off this energy. 0.91

01:38:14.000 And that also, the kind of exercise I do is so intense, there's so much aggression, that if I don't do that for a few days, that shit stores up, and then I'm not the nicest person. 0.96

01:38:27.000 I don't like me. 0.96

01:38:28.000 If I don't work out for four or five days, I don't like me.

01:38:31.000 I'm not that nice.

01:38:34.000 I can get edgy real quick, but if I work out every day, I'm the nicest person.

01:38:42.000 It's like real simple.

01:38:43.000 The body has requirements.

01:38:45.000 The mind has requirements.

01:38:46.000 If you don't give it those requirements, it starts to malfunction.

01:38:50.000 Yeah.

01:38:51.000 It's something I've thought about since I was very young, just as our society, that we've kind of mislabeled a lot of words like work and play and what those things mean, and I feel like A lot of things that we consider work aren't work at all.

01:39:05.000 They're busy work.

01:39:06.000 They're like a waste of time.

01:39:07.000 They're just you spending time in a place for a set number of hours.

01:39:12.000 Whereas what I consider real work is getting yourself better.

01:39:17.000 Exercising, reading, meditating.

01:39:19.000 To me, that is work.

01:39:21.000 That is how you actually get better at things.

01:39:25.000 And that's just kind of how I look at it.

01:39:26.000 This is my job.

01:39:28.000 I work in entertainment.

01:39:29.000 Even if I didn't work in entertainment, it wouldn't matter. 0.99

01:39:31.000 But the fact that I do, my main jobs are, fuck, stay ready, keep material going, make sure I fucking look good and just have a positive attitude. 0.98

01:39:39.000 And if I keep it that simple, everything else is fine. 0.99

01:39:43.000 Yeah, that work, that making sure you do that work.

01:39:46.000 For some people, it's just, it's an alien concept.

01:39:49.000 They never really developed that habit.

01:39:51.000 But if you do, if you just, I swear to God, anybody listen to this?

01:39:54.000 Like, oh, I don't think I could do that.

01:39:56.000 If you just started, just left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, just do it.

01:40:00.000 Please.

01:40:01.000 Just get going.

01:40:02.000 Just get going.

01:40:03.000 Once you get going, it's so easy to keep going.

01:40:05.000 It becomes momentum.

01:40:06.000 So much harder to start from a standstill position.

01:40:10.000 But once you're doing it and you're kind of like, hey, I worked out every day this week.

01:40:14.000 Hey, I worked out every day this month.

01:40:16.000 Or hey, I worked out four days a week for the past six weeks. 1.00

01:40:20.000 I'm like, fuck, man. 0.99

01:40:21.000 You got some momentum now. 1.00

01:40:23.000 Yeah, it just feels good. 0.56

01:40:25.000 And especially, you know, when I was 360, it's not like I was going around doing box jumps and tire pushes and all that shit.

01:40:31.000 I was walking.

01:40:32.000 I was walking and walking and walking and doing some light bicep curls or whatever, you know?

01:40:38.000 You...

01:40:38.000 It doesn't matter where you start.

01:40:40.000 Did you go all in right from the jump when you said, all right, I'm going to lose weight?

01:40:43.000 Or did you vacillate?

01:40:44.000 No, once I, you know, again, my mola decision and I make it.

01:40:48.000 So once the decision was made, it was more like, okay, it's out of my hands.

01:40:52.000 I will do what my trainer says and that's it.

01:40:55.000 And that's been the crazy thing because he'll then, like recently, he'll talk about other clients and he'll be like, oh, you know, you wanted him to do this.

01:41:02.000 He didn't want to do it, so he didn't do it.

01:41:03.000 And I go, oh.

01:41:05.000 I never comprehended that I could tell you no. 1.00

01:41:09.000 I never even thought that I could be like, yeah, I know, I'm tired, fuck it. 0.99

01:41:13.000 I thought, oh, I'm paying you, this is your job, so I just listen to you. 0.99

01:41:19.000 But I think that way, it's just me having a good attitude about it.

01:41:24.000 Once I was in it, I was in it.

01:41:26.000 And then later came the thing of, oh, I have to mentally now undo Yeah.

01:41:46.000 Yeah.

01:41:58.000 It doesn't match up because they read you these things like, oh, I reached my lowest moment.

01:42:03.000 I lost my family.

01:42:04.000 I was living in a train.

01:42:06.000 And I was like, well, no, I can't relate to that.

01:42:09.000 My lowest moment is that I took a bite of a donut and then put it on top of the trash and then came back and got it and then had to put it deeper in the trash.

01:42:18.000 That's what I need to work on.

01:42:20.000 Yeah, it's a different kind of addiction, right?

01:42:23.000 Mm-hmm.

01:42:24.000 Yeah, you don't really lose your life the same way.

01:42:27.000 No, it's slow.

01:42:28.000 You don't become a junkie.

01:42:28.000 It's slow.

01:42:29.000 You lose your life in a weird way.

01:42:31.000 You lose your physical life.

01:42:32.000 Yeah.

01:42:33.000 And you start telling...

01:42:34.000 I just remember...

01:42:36.000 It's mentally the change of being like, well, you know, I just don't want to do that.

01:42:39.000 I don't want to.

01:42:40.000 I can't physically go scuba diving.

01:42:43.000 They won't let me in my way.

01:42:44.000 So, you know, I'm just not interested in any of that, you know?

01:42:47.000 And now I'm just like, I want to do anything.

01:42:49.000 I went to pro wrestling school for a few months.

01:42:51.000 Did you really?

01:42:52.000 Yeah.

01:42:53.000 Jamar Nabors has me going to clown college idea.

01:42:56.000 So I'm up to anything.

01:42:58.000 Clown college?

01:42:59.000 Thinking about it. 0.81

01:43:00.000 What is that?

01:43:00.000 Talk to me.

01:43:01.000 I don't know much about it, but he went.

01:43:03.000 Jamar Nabors went to clown school. 0.97

01:43:04.000 Jamar's so crazy. 0.98

01:43:05.000 Yeah! 0.99

01:43:07.000 And so I was talking to him about acting class, and he was like, man, I think you would kill it at clown school. 0.85

01:43:13.000 That is hilarious. 1.00

01:43:14.000 What the fuck is clown school? 1.00

01:43:15.000 Like, what do you do? 0.99

01:43:16.000 I bet you there's a lot of water bits, some prop work.

01:43:20.000 A lot of nose honking.

01:43:21.000 Yeah!

01:43:23.000 But I bet you there's some tumbling stuff too.

01:43:25.000 So I'd be interested in that.

01:43:26.000 But yeah, I went to pro wrestling school.

01:43:28.000 Tell me about pro wrestling school.

01:43:30.000 Was this because you want to go full David Arquette?

01:43:34.000 Great reference.

01:43:37.000 Never go full David Arquette.

01:43:38.000 There's a You Can't Kill David Arquette documentary.

01:43:41.000 Yeah, I know about it.

01:43:42.000 I just watched a trailer for it. 1.00

01:43:43.000 I'm like, this motherfucker is killing himself. 1.00

01:43:45.000 Yeah, he's out there doing death matches. 1.00

01:43:47.000 Getting hit in the head with light bulbs and shit. 1.00

01:43:50.000 Like, okay. 1.00

01:43:51.000 Yeah, insane.

01:43:52.000 No, I didn't want to do that.

01:43:54.000 I just, you know, been a big fan of two things my whole life, comedy and pro wrestling.

01:43:58.000 And I decided I wanted to, when I lost a weight, I was not aware of what my body was capable of anymore. 0.99

01:44:05.000 You know, I would still be like pushing myself up off of things and my trainer would be like, what the fuck? 0.95

01:44:10.000 Like, you know, you're much lighter than you think you are. 0.99

01:44:12.000 Oh, that's funny.

01:44:14.000 And so I decided to go to school to be like, okay, let me throw my body around. 0.98

01:44:19.000 Let me do as many fucking squats as I can. 0.99

01:44:21.000 Let me see what I can do. 0.99

01:44:22.000 Oh, did they make you do like the bodyweight squats?

01:44:24.000 Oh, yeah.

01:44:25.000 Like Carl Gotch type workouts?

01:44:27.000 Oh, yeah.

01:44:27.000 One day they were just mad at us.

01:44:28.000 So they made us do like 375 squats.

01:44:31.000 Oh, that's a fun day the next day, huh? 1.00

01:44:32.000 It was a fucking bathtub day. 0.99

01:44:35.000 That's And Epsom salts day. 1.00

01:44:39.000 Oh, so much salt.

01:44:40.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:44:41.000 Bodyweight squats will fuck you up. 0.99

01:44:43.000 Anybody tells me they need a gym to work out, I'm like, listen to me. 0.98

01:44:48.000 Show me that you could do 200 bodyweight squats.

01:44:51.000 You don't need a gym to work out.

01:44:52.000 You could develop amazing leg muscles just bodyweight squatting.

01:44:56.000 Yeah.

01:44:57.000 I mean, squats, sit-ups, push-ups, burpees, that's a workout. 0.99

01:45:01.000 Fuck yeah, it is. 0.98

01:45:02.000 You ever do those Hindu squats where you lift your heel up at the bottom and then push up? 1.00

01:45:06.000 No.

01:45:07.000 Tremendous for the quads.

01:45:08.000 Yeah.

01:45:09.000 Hindu squats are interesting.

01:45:10.000 You start off like this, right?

01:45:13.000 And then you drop down.

01:45:15.000 You put your hands behind you as you drop down, and as you drop down, your heels go up, and then you push up and come back up to here, and then do it again.

01:45:24.000 Oh, so it's like a sweep.

01:45:26.000 Yeah, sort of.

01:45:27.000 But the thing about it is, here, I'll do one real quick.

01:45:30.000 The thing about it is, as you're going down, when you go down, your heels come up, like...

01:45:35.000 Down here, my heels are up, and you're up like this.

01:45:38.000 So it's like, it really works the top of your quads, like your quads, where it touches the knee.

01:45:44.000 Tremendous.

01:45:44.000 Amazing exercise.

01:45:45.000 And it's just body weight.

01:45:47.000 Yeah, especially when I was on the road and couldn't find a gym.

01:45:50.000 I would do squats all the time.

01:45:52.000 Yeah, but Hindu squats, Hindu push-ups, regular push-ups, and a chin-up bar.

01:45:56.000 You're good.

01:45:57.000 You're good.

01:45:57.000 You don't need anything.

01:45:59.000 But if you can get other shit in there, too. 0.99

01:46:01.000 They got you kettlebells? 1.00

01:46:02.000 You do shit like that? 1.00

01:46:03.000 I need to get some kettlebells? 1.00

01:46:05.000 I don't currently...

01:46:06.000 I mean, I was going to the gym a lot, you know?

01:46:08.000 So I had everything there.

01:46:09.000 At home, I just kind of have up to 50-pound dumbbells.

01:46:12.000 I need to get... 0.99

01:46:13.000 I've been trying to buy bigger dumbbells, but fuck, they're so expensive right now. 0.99

01:46:16.000 I tried to buy some 65 pounds. 0.99

01:46:18.000 They wanted to charge me $700.

01:46:20.000 $700?

01:46:21.000 $700 for a pair!

01:46:23.000 That's crazy.

01:46:24.000 Yeah.

01:46:24.000 Is that real?

01:46:25.000 Yeah.

01:46:26.000 Is that just because everybody bought them out? 0.99

01:46:27.000 I think it's all quarantined up and then the shipping and the weight of the shipping and all that shit. 0.99

01:46:32.000 I don't know. 0.97

01:46:33.000 700 bucks for a pair of dumbbells is hilarious.

01:46:36.000 Yeah.

01:46:37.000 So, I'm on, you know.

01:46:38.000 You gotta go prison style, bro.

01:46:39.000 I'm looking for Craigslist.

01:46:40.000 Get some rocks.

01:46:41.000 Sticks in them.

01:46:42.000 But I need to get some bigger weights for sure.

01:46:44.000 Trying to get jacked?

01:46:46.000 Yeah, man.

01:46:47.000 I'm trying to get as healthy and put together as I can until like 40, 41, 42, and then cruise it.

01:46:56.000 Just cruise it from there.

01:46:58.000 Cruise it.

01:46:58.000 Still maintain.

01:46:59.000 I just turned 53. Okay.

01:47:01.000 Well, yeah, see.

01:47:01.000 Yesterday.

01:47:02.000 Yeah, I know.

01:47:03.000 Happy birthday.

01:47:04.000 Thank you.

01:47:04.000 I thought about buying you something, but then I remembered.

01:47:10.000 Then I recalled!

01:47:13.000 What could I get him?

01:47:14.000 A hug is sufficient.

01:47:16.000 I don't need anything.

01:47:17.000 Man, for real though, happy birthday.

01:47:19.000 Thank you.

01:47:21.000 I texted you the day I found out about the theme. 0.99

01:47:25.000 Just your ownership of your own shit, the longevity, the how many... 0.97

01:47:30.000 Because I go back and I look at my podcast, we're just two years deep, and I'm like, oh man, we've made it so far, but I could still do so much. 0.99

01:47:36.000 And then I go back and I'm watching old episodes of you, and it's like, Episode 565, you know?

01:47:41.000 And I'm just like, man, there's a longevity.

01:47:44.000 There's just this part of like, this is what I do. 1.00

01:47:46.000 This is my shit. 0.99

01:47:48.000 And I told you directly, the fact that you own that shit and it's yours and you licensing them is a huge inspiration to me. 1.00

01:47:54.000 So I just wanted to make sure I tell you that. 0.98

01:47:56.000 Thank you, brother.

01:47:57.000 And like I said before, I really love what you do.

01:48:00.000 I love the energy that you put out.

01:48:01.000 I really do.

01:48:02.000 Because your energies are consistently positive and friendly.

01:48:05.000 I love that you do that.

01:48:06.000 And you put that out.

01:48:07.000 And you say hi to people.

01:48:09.000 I hope you're doing great.

01:48:10.000 And I know it's sincere.

01:48:12.000 And you have a big smile.

01:48:15.000 That's giant for people, man, to have a place like that where they can tune in and get just consistent, positive vibes.

01:48:21.000 Because it's great.

01:48:22.000 It's all, I mean, you know, shit gets weird, but life's, for me, it's been so much better. 0.92

01:48:27.000 My life is gravy compared to my childhood and things I went through. 0.95

01:48:32.000 You know, single mom and she had abusive relationship and all this other shit and just never had structure or knowing, you know, a lot of things were up in the air in my household. 0.67

01:48:42.000 And now that I'm I literally do what I want to do for my life. 0.95

01:48:47.000 I know my passions.

01:48:48.000 Sure, I don't get everything I want, but it's like, man, I can never... 0.96

01:48:51.000 And I get to work with my fucking heroes, you know? 0.92

01:48:55.000 And I never lose sight of that. 1.00

01:48:56.000 When Wanda Sykes is like, oh, you're fucking... 1.00

01:48:58.000 Why aren't you in theaters yet? 1.00

01:49:00.000 You're fucking... 1.00

01:49:03.000 You know, I'm still a fan first. 1.00

01:49:06.000 And so it's easy for me to be happy for people because I'm like, fuck, this is dope. 0.99

01:49:12.000 And success to me just begets other success. 0.98

01:49:15.000 I don't look at it and go, oh, I couldn't get that.

01:49:17.000 I go, oh, something's coming for me too.

01:49:20.000 Yes, yes.

01:49:22.000 It's just about maintaining that positive mentality.

01:49:25.000 And that is really...

01:49:28.000 Putting out positive vibes, like what you're doing, really does change people's lives.

01:49:32.000 It really does.

01:49:34.000 You know, I mean, maybe you don't feel it yet, but I guarantee you there's a lot of people that look to you for that positive inspiration.

01:49:41.000 They look to you for just happiness.

01:49:43.000 And they just, like, you give that to people, man, and then they get it.

01:49:48.000 It's like a little seed you give them, and it grows inside of their body.

01:49:51.000 I just got an email from this guy I'm doing this thing with.

01:49:53.000 And I didn't know too much about him.

01:49:56.000 I knew he was referred to me by this other guy.

01:49:59.000 We're doing this project together.

01:50:01.000 And then he sends me this email basically after we're done with this thing.

01:50:08.000 Hey, man, I just wanted to let you know, like, I didn't tell you this before, but because of you and listening to your podcast, I used to have this terrible job.

01:50:16.000 I quit my job.

01:50:17.000 I moved to this new place.

01:50:19.000 I started from scratch.

01:50:20.000 I started doing jujitsu.

01:50:21.000 I lost weight.

01:50:22.000 I got a way better job.

01:50:23.000 Now I have a family.

01:50:25.000 I'm married.

01:50:25.000 I have a kid.

01:50:26.000 I'm a different person.

01:50:28.000 And it's because of listening to your podcast and realizing that you can change your life and you can do the things you want to do.

01:50:36.000 You just got to push yourself and feeding off the energy of hearing someone say that that's actually done it and recognizing there's no difference between you and me.

01:50:44.000 There's no difference between me and the next guy.

01:50:47.000 It's just I've done it and you can too.

01:50:50.000 That's what people need to hear.

01:50:52.000 You see someone like Kevin Hart and you go, that guy's an alien.

01:50:55.000 Like, I just, I'm not like that.

01:50:56.000 I can't do it.

01:50:56.000 But you're not.

01:50:57.000 That's not true.

01:50:58.000 He's just a dude.

01:50:59.000 He's just a dude who's positive, who works hard.

01:51:02.000 And if you do that too, you will get successful.

01:51:05.000 You will. 1.00

01:51:06.000 You will find your fucking groove. 0.99

01:51:09.000 People who haven't done stuff are the people who tell you you can't do it, you know? 0.99

01:51:13.000 Because that's the reality that they've lived in.

01:51:16.000 I've never met someone who's truly been successful who turns around and goes, well, no, but you couldn't do it, you know?

01:51:23.000 Because they know.

01:51:24.000 They know. 1.00

01:51:24.000 It's fucking... 1.00

01:51:25.000 It's just... 1.00

01:51:26.000 Putting in the work, and then it just, it might take decades, you know?

01:51:30.000 I was, again, on Twitch, showing these old videos of mine.

01:51:33.000 I showed my special, and then I had somehow found this set of mine from when I was three years in.

01:51:38.000 And so we showed it, and we were making fun of it.

01:51:40.000 I go, look at me.

01:51:41.000 Look how I'm dressed.

01:51:42.000 You can tell, like, these are my only good pants, and they aren't good.

01:51:48.000 But man, if you didn't have that, you wouldn't appreciate where you're at now.

01:51:52.000 That's so important.

01:51:54.000 There's a message for people that are struggling right now. 0.99

01:51:57.000 Like this struggle, fucking enjoy it. 1.00

01:52:00.000 Suck it in. 1.00

01:52:01.000 Take it in. 1.00

01:52:02.000 First of all, it's fuel because it's going to inspire you.

01:52:06.000 To move forward and become more successful.

01:52:09.000 But also, like, man, you're going to look back on these days. 0.97

01:52:12.000 The suck that you're experiencing right now will be delicious in five, ten years. 0.97

01:52:17.000 You're going to look back on it. 0.99

01:52:18.000 It's going to be amazing.

01:52:19.000 You're going to enjoy it.

01:52:20.000 Yeah.

01:52:21.000 No, I get text messages.

01:52:22.000 I got a text message the other day from my ex-wife's sister just being like, Oh, I'm so proud of you.

01:52:27.000 Look at you.

01:52:27.000 And you're in movies and this and that.

01:52:29.000 And you're amazing.

01:52:30.000 And you're doing so well for your son, my nephew.

01:52:34.000 And then I was just like...

01:52:36.000 This is so cool coming from the lady that used to call me the N-word.

01:52:44.000 That's amazing.

01:52:46.000 Do you still talk to the ex?

01:52:48.000 No, not really.

01:52:50.000 Sometimes just, you know, keep her up to date to what's going on with her son.

01:52:53.000 Make sure that their relationship is still strong.

01:52:56.000 But me and her, no.

01:52:58.000 You know, she just...

01:52:59.000 I understand if I was in her position, I wouldn't like what...

01:53:08.000 She ain't never been the niece!

01:53:14.000 I don't know what that's like.

01:53:17.000 Yeah, as much as you like to see some people succeed, there's a certain amount of satisfaction in knowing that you bypassed all the pitfalls that other people have fallen into.

01:53:28.000 Yeah.

01:53:28.000 Especially if you had some non-fun relationship issues with them.

01:53:34.000 Yeah, it truly is.

01:53:35.000 I still try to...

01:53:36.000 It's my son's mom, so I always have a love for her, and I want her to be successful, and I want her to be happy.

01:53:44.000 But I'm very...

01:53:46.000 I know I won.

01:53:50.000 Oh, it's awful.

01:53:56.000 It's awful to take happiness and other people's failures like that, but...

01:54:00.000 Yeah, but there's their choices.

01:54:02.000 And yeah, it's like also like you can learn a lot from other people's failure.

01:54:06.000 Truly.

01:54:07.000 As much as you can get out of people's success, man, look at someone who you know that's just sabotaging their life left and right, and you can learn from that too. 0.99

01:54:15.000 One of the things that you were talking about that I think is so important is taking ownership of your fuck-ups.

01:54:20.000 Taking ownership of the things you did wrong and trying to rectify that.

01:54:24.000 You don't want to repeat those patterns.

01:54:27.000 Recognize them.

01:54:29.000 Develop.

01:54:29.000 Development.

01:54:30.000 Getting better.

01:54:31.000 Evolve.

01:54:32.000 I think that's a thing, you know, through especially social media lately, that we don't allow people to evolve.

01:54:39.000 We don't allow them to change.

01:54:40.000 We hold them to the same statement that they made 10, 15, 20 years ago. 1.00

01:54:44.000 And if someone's an asshole today, that's fine. 1.00

01:54:47.000 I understand that. 1.00

01:54:48.000 It's okay to not fuck with people. 0.99

01:54:50.000 But, like, to judge someone over things they did 10, 15, 20 years ago, obviously, case-by-case basis, but you're... 0.99

01:54:59.000 You're denying the existence of evolution.

01:55:02.000 You're denying that people change and that people can get better.

01:55:06.000 And I just always believe in that because I've seen it in myself.

01:55:10.000 I've seen it in my friends and the people around me.

01:55:12.000 There's so many people that if they truly...

01:55:14.000 Some people don't want to change and they never will. 0.97

01:55:18.000 But I've met a lot of people who weren't the best people and they pulled their shit together because they had to. 0.94

01:55:25.000 Yeah, I agree. 0.96

01:55:26.000 I agree wholeheartedly.

01:55:27.000 And I know I've grown and become a better person, too, and through all that hard work. 0.94

01:55:32.000 And I almost don't fault people that feel that way because it's fucking hard today, man.

01:55:39.000 And it's less hard for us because we had this advantage that we were kind of moving. 0.99

01:55:44.000 You know, we already had momentum when this shit hit. 0.96

01:55:46.000 And we were in a business where, you know, we're very fortunate that when you do well and show business, you can make a decent amount of money. 0.99

01:55:53.000 You can save some of it and you can put it aside.

01:55:56.000 But there's so many people out there that have no hope.

01:55:58.000 And I understand the bitterness and the anger.

01:56:00.000 I understand it all.

01:56:01.000 I get it. 0.99

01:56:02.000 I mean, this is a fucked up time. 0.99

01:56:04.000 It's a fucked up time where like half the country can't work. 1.00

01:56:07.000 Yeah. 0.94

01:56:08.000 And when you have that, you're going to have just a dystopian perspective on everything.

01:56:15.000 And that's what you have with people today.

01:56:18.000 And I just want us to come out of it.

01:56:20.000 I really do.

01:56:21.000 And when we come out of it, man, I hope we look back.

01:56:24.000 Just appreciate where we are. 0.93

01:56:25.000 If we get to a point where we can all gather and go to comedy clubs and go to restaurants and movie theaters and normal shit like we used to do, sporting events, you can go see pro wrestling live, all that shit, man, I just hope we really enjoy it. 0.96

01:56:38.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:56:38.000 And maybe we will. 0.96

01:56:40.000 I mean, maybe we'll be better because we'll recognize, like, hey, man, this could all go away.

01:56:46.000 Now we know it can all go away.

01:56:48.000 Yeah.

01:56:48.000 Just learning to respect the audience more.

01:56:53.000 I'm clearly nothing without an audience.

01:56:56.000 I'm nothing.

01:56:57.000 And sometimes I didn't always go into every show being like, I need to give these people...

01:57:03.000 I'm sure you know.

01:57:04.000 Sure.

01:57:05.000 And so I'm just trying to be more aware of that.

01:57:08.000 Although it was great.

01:57:10.000 I was like, okay.

01:57:11.000 I did this one show where they...

01:57:13.000 There's a little stage and a screen and people can see you.

01:57:16.000 And I was like, oh, it felt so good to get on stage again and I want to be grateful for it.

01:57:19.000 And they asked me to come back and then I slept through it and I was mad at myself at first.

01:57:23.000 But then I was like, no, this is like getting back to normal.

01:57:27.000 Yeah, that's funny.

01:57:29.000 I did some stand-up.

01:57:31.000 I did a weekend at the Houston Improv, but I was like, man, I can't catch COVID. I gotta get out of here.

01:57:36.000 I did, you know, one weekend. 0.64

01:57:38.000 And I did all the right things, kept the fuck away from people, wore a mask, did my shows, got off, get out of there, didn't take pictures, didn't hug anybody. 0.61

01:57:45.000 But I was still like, but what if I got it? 0.64

01:57:47.000 And what if I give it to someone I love?

01:57:49.000 Yeah.

01:57:50.000 It's just, I got really high the next day, and I got real paranoid.

01:57:56.000 I was like, what if I have it?

01:57:58.000 What if I have it?

01:57:58.000 I'm gonna give it to people.

01:57:59.000 Yeah.

01:58:00.000 And then I was like, I can't do this.

01:58:02.000 Yeah, I went through the same mindset because I had a couple of gigs on the docket still.

01:58:07.000 But I went through that same thing.

01:58:09.000 Like, oh, I want to do stand-up so bad.

01:58:10.000 I want to perform.

01:58:11.000 I want to feel that feeling of people applauding when I enter a room. 0.99

01:58:16.000 But I just fucking... 0.98

01:58:19.000 Yeah, that same paranoia. 1.00

01:58:20.000 Like, oh, what if I give it to someone and, you know, I'm healthy and that's fine, but I give it to someone and they give it to their grandma and their grandma dies because they went to hear me do some dumb bullshit jokes? 0.99

01:58:30.000 I can't. 0.99

01:58:30.000 I don't want that. 0.99

01:58:31.000 Exactly.

01:58:32.000 But at a certain point in time, like, what do we do if this is normal forever?

01:58:38.000 What if COVID doesn't go away and this is just the deal?

01:58:41.000 This is just how things are.

01:58:42.000 Then what do we do?

01:58:43.000 Do we decide then? 1.00

01:58:45.000 Well, fuck it. 1.00

01:58:45.000 Let's just have comedy clubs. 1.00

01:58:47.000 People are going to get it.

01:58:48.000 They're just going to get it.

01:58:48.000 There is no cure.

01:58:49.000 There's nothing you can do.

01:58:50.000 Do we just live like this?

01:58:54.000 I don't think so.

01:58:55.000 That doesn't sound good.

01:58:56.000 So the question is always like, are we living like this because we're waiting for them to develop enough hospital beds and waiting for them to develop some sort of a treatment that's responsible that really does work well?

01:59:09.000 Is that what's going on?

01:59:11.000 I mean, we're all hoping for a vaccine, but if there's nothing, if it doesn't happen, let's just imagine.

01:59:16.000 It doesn't.

01:59:17.000 What do you do? 1.00

01:59:18.000 At some point in time, we're going to have to say, fuck it. 1.00

01:59:21.000 We're going to have to get back to work and get back to life. 0.99

01:59:24.000 Yeah, that'll be a weird life.

01:59:26.000 I don't want that, and then I hadn't thought about that until you brought it up? 0.99

01:59:30.000 Damn. 0.99

01:59:31.000 But now I am thinking about it, and it's like a horror movie. 0.99

01:59:34.000 Well, here's the thing, man.

01:59:35.000 There's more than one version of this disease right now.

01:59:39.000 More than one.

01:59:39.000 There's one in India that's so different from the one here that if they develop a vaccine for the one that's in North America, it won't work for the one that's in India.

01:59:47.000 And it's possible that this thing is going to morph like the common cold or like a lot of other viruses and spread all over the place.

01:59:55.000 Well, if they don't have a disease prevention, if there's no way other than keeping your body healthy, keeping your immune system strong, We're not going to live like this, man.

02:00:06.000 We can't just live like this forever.

02:00:08.000 We're living like this temporarily.

02:00:10.000 This is the idea.

02:00:11.000 So we have to, like...

02:00:13.000 That is a possibility that we need to take into account.

02:00:17.000 It's interesting.

02:00:19.000 It means life's going to be different.

02:00:21.000 It means a lot of people are going to die.

02:00:22.000 A lot of people wearing masks. 1.00

02:00:24.000 A lot of people with fucked up teeth that are going to be real happy. 0.99

02:00:26.000 I'm okay with the mask, Sam, because that's been... 0.99

02:00:28.000 I got used to that from Japan, from when I went to Japan for two weeks.

02:00:31.000 I was like, oh, that's fine.

02:00:33.000 When you went to Japan for two weeks, was it COVID or no COVID? Pre-COVID. But a lot of people just wear masks.

02:00:38.000 If they're feeling a little ill, you wear a mask.

02:00:41.000 Well, that's a polite thing over there, right?

02:00:42.000 Mm-hmm.

02:00:43.000 Yeah.

02:00:43.000 Well, that's why they did an amazing job.

02:00:45.000 They got to a point where I think the entire country only had 1,000 deaths, which is amazing.

02:00:50.000 Mm-hmm.

02:00:52.000 Especially if you, because people consider the size of Japan that it's not like super populated, but if you consider that most of the population in Japan is in just very dense areas, like Tokyo is everyone right on top of each other.

02:01:05.000 And they never lock down.

02:01:07.000 They kept working the entire time.

02:01:08.000 They just wore masks, and they only had a thousand deaths.

02:01:11.000 It's pretty amazing.

02:01:12.000 I have a buddy of mine who's a political commentator, and he was like, you need to look at this.

02:01:16.000 He sent me this article explaining all the things Japan did.

02:01:19.000 Basically, they follow order.

02:01:22.000 They're polite.

02:01:23.000 If you go over there, I've only been to Tokyo once, but it's like...

02:01:29.000 Amazing how different their culture is, like how polite they are and how they avoid, you know, like on the streets, like everybody, there's no garbage everywhere. 0.99

02:01:36.000 Nobody picks up their shit. 0.99

02:01:38.000 You don't even, it's rude to walk around and eat. 1.00

02:01:41.000 Yeah.

02:01:42.000 You're supposed to go take it to the proper place, get rid of your trash, and then go about your day. 0.69

02:01:48.000 It's crazy.

02:01:48.000 Yeah, they just have patterns of behavior and patterns of what they accept, or what they expect, rather, from society, from people.

02:02:01.000 And they all agree.

02:02:02.000 Yeah, truly.

02:02:04.000 Discipline.

02:02:04.000 Yeah.

02:02:05.000 If you haven't gone, and we ever get the chance to travel, go! 0.65

02:02:09.000 It's fucking amazing.

02:02:10.000 I can't wait to go to other countries again. 0.96

02:02:12.000 I want to go to some weird places.

02:02:14.000 I can't wait. 0.98

02:02:15.000 If this shit ever lifts up, I just want to go. 0.99

02:02:19.000 I want to take in as many weird cultures. 0.99

02:02:21.000 I want to go to Bali.

02:02:23.000 I want to see what that's like.

02:02:24.000 I want to go to Indonesia.

02:02:25.000 I want to go to a lot of the Pacific Islands.

02:02:28.000 I want to go to the Philippines.

02:02:29.000 I want to go to a lot of places I've never been that I've just seen in videos.

02:02:33.000 I just like...

02:02:34.000 And I want to go to Egypt.

02:02:36.000 That's the thing I've been kicking myself in the head about.

02:02:39.000 Like, why didn't I go see the pyramids?

02:02:41.000 I need to go see that.

02:02:43.000 I'd like to do that.

02:02:44.000 Every person that I'm friends with, Schultz went.

02:02:46.000 He went right before COVID. Everybody that I'm friends with that went there, they're like, bro.

02:02:51.000 They're like, this shit changed my life. 0.99

02:02:53.000 Like, it's so big and so crazy. 1.00

02:02:55.000 Like, what the fuck is this? 1.00

02:02:56.000 Who built this? 1.00

02:02:57.000 How did this happen?

02:02:59.000 What was this culture like? 0.95

02:03:01.000 And the fact that you got fucked up Cairo right there next to this ancient civilization that's so far more sophisticated in their structures, like...

02:03:12.000 That's one of them things where I think perspective-shifting places are very important to go to. 0.94

02:03:21.000 We're so used to Los Angeles or Boston or wherever you're from.

02:03:24.000 You're used to these cities and this is how people live. 1.00

02:03:27.000 But then you go to Chichen Itza and you go, oh, shit. 0.99

02:03:30.000 Like, what were the Mayans doing? 1.00

02:03:33.000 You know, these motherfuckers are doing this shit 1,500 years ago. 1.00

02:03:36.000 Like, what is this? 1.00

02:03:37.000 How are they doing this?

02:03:38.000 Why were they doing this?

02:03:40.000 What was life like back then?

02:03:41.000 You realize, like, the pattern that we're in is just the pattern that we're in.

02:03:45.000 It doesn't mean this is the only pattern that human beings follow.

02:03:48.000 Just an option.

02:03:49.000 Just like you were talking about Japan.

02:03:50.000 That's a different pattern.

02:03:52.000 They're on a different pattern.

02:03:53.000 Their pattern, they got into this really disciplined pattern, being polite, wearing a mask. 1.00

02:03:58.000 Our pattern is fucking chaos. 0.99

02:03:59.000 But also, our pattern's more creative. 0.99

02:04:03.000 That's the weird thing about our pattern. 0.99

02:04:05.000 Over here in America, we do a lot of wild shit, but man, we create a lot of good shit. 0.99

02:04:11.000 If you think about all the movies and the art and the comedy and the music, All this shit that comes from this one continent. 1.00

02:04:18.000 Yeah, I mean it can only come from a lack of structure and from chaos and things going on. 0.78

02:04:23.000 That's why we have so many forms of art that are created here.

02:04:26.000 That's why jazz is created here.

02:04:28.000 That's why hip-hop is created here.

02:04:30.000 Stand-up comedy invented here.

02:04:31.000 Yeah.

02:04:32.000 Yeah.

02:04:33.000 It is.

02:04:33.000 It's like that is what's interesting, right?

02:04:36.000 It's like you gotta kind of have both of those things.

02:04:39.000 You gotta kind of have chaos, but you also kind of gotta have some discipline too.

02:04:46.000 I think that's one of the reasons why America's done so terrible with this COVID reaction.

02:04:52.000 We're the worst at it. 1.00

02:04:53.000 All the fucking big countries, we are the worst. 1.00

02:04:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:04:57.000 It's crazy when you really look at it and they're just like, we don't, the rest of the world is just like...

02:05:02.000 We don't want Americans right now, because you're in an underdeveloped nation, medically. 1.00

02:05:07.000 You fucking idiots. 1.00

02:05:09.000 You guys don't listen. 1.00

02:05:10.000 You want to have a big protest where you don't wear masks. 1.00

02:05:13.000 We want our fucking freedom. 0.99

02:05:16.000 Thousands of people march down the street saying, we don't want to wear masks. 1.00

02:05:20.000 Bill Gates the devil. 1.00

02:05:21.000 Fuck Fauci. 1.00

02:05:22.000 People are crazy. 1.00

02:05:23.000 They're wild people. 1.00

02:05:25.000 But they come up with some good shit. 1.00

02:05:28.000 Right? 1.00

02:05:29.000 Such a conundrum.

02:05:32.000 Take a part of me, I love America. 1.00

02:05:34.000 Look, there's a fucking American flag behind me. 1.00

02:05:37.000 There's a reason for that. 1.00

02:05:37.000 I love America. 1.00

02:05:39.000 Genuinely, I love the concept.

02:05:41.000 I love the concept of, you know, I'm the grandchild of immigrants.

02:05:45.000 My family all came over here from Europe.

02:05:47.000 I love the fact that these people, where we're like the ancestors of these people that decided wherever they were, they just didn't want to be there anymore, you know?

02:05:58.000 No, not me.

02:06:00.000 I was going to get to that.

02:06:02.000 Or...

02:06:03.000 Or realize, hey... 1.00

02:06:12.000 You know, that is for sure the most fucked up part of America. 1.00

02:06:19.000 Right? 1.00

02:06:20.000 It is. 1.00

02:06:21.000 The most fucked up, for sure. 1.00

02:06:23.000 How it was started. 0.99

02:06:25.000 Slave owners that wanted to be free. 1.00

02:06:28.000 But it's also...

02:06:30.000 There's a beauty that people don't see.

02:06:33.000 I think there's a lot of like...

02:06:36.000 In everyday white people that I talk to, there's a little bit of fear of this black anger of people being like, not only Black Lives Matter, that we want reparations, we want everything back, which will also be great, it'll be fun.

02:06:51.000 But to me, what's so beautiful about America is this...

02:06:56.000 Level of forgiveness that's built into our structure to the fact that we can have that history, that, you know, horrible history, and then there's no other country that freed those people and then they'd live there right next to their oppressors,

02:07:13.000 you know?

02:07:14.000 And then...

02:07:16.000 And there's forgiveness.

02:07:17.000 And there's balance.

02:07:19.000 And there's like, oh, well, we just want to continue to be a part of this lifestyle.

02:07:22.000 And we want to succeed and have our own freedoms like you. 0.61

02:07:26.000 We're not trying to then take over and now white people are slaves. 0.94

02:07:30.000 It's this beautiful thing that there's this forgiveness there.

02:07:34.000 And that they want a seat at the table.

02:07:35.000 Yes!

02:07:38.000 And also, the amount of creativity that comes from that culture.

02:07:42.000 Just stop and think of that, right?

02:07:44.000 Like, through pressure, diamonds are created.

02:07:47.000 And just look at the black American community and think about all the...

02:07:53.000 Different forms of art that not just originated with black Americans, but were mastered by them to a point where like like even rock and roll Yeah, like Jimi Hendrix is the greatest guitar player of all time I mean you go and look at stand-up comedians.

02:08:09.000 I mean there's there's so many Musicians, so many.

02:08:13.000 So many artists.

02:08:15.000 So, I mean, that's the crazy thing about art, right?

02:08:18.000 Like, so much of art is this dynamic expression that comes from pain.

02:08:24.000 Yeah.

02:08:25.000 Yeah, I mean that's to me the beauty and the alchemy in art is to take your traumas, take your pain, and then to turn those things into your successes and the reason why you have finances.

02:08:36.000 It's amazing.

02:08:38.000 Yeah, and I'm hoping that through the, I mean this obviously racial relations are in this really strange upheaval right now.

02:08:45.000 They're in a bad spot!

02:08:47.000 They're in a bad spot, but they're also in a spot where there's a potential for growth.

02:08:51.000 When you see these Black Lives Matter protests, the thing that gives everybody hope is that people are together walking down the street in unity.

02:09:03.000 And that they recognize that this is a unique moment to make things better.

02:09:08.000 This is a unique moment to take a stand, to talk about things, to recognize that there's problems, and out of the brutal murder of one man, this eruption that has existed all throughout, not just North America, but it's spread throughout the globe.

02:09:22.000 It's a crazy time.

02:09:23.000 And through crazy times, oftentimes on the other end of it, you get a better world.

02:09:29.000 Truly.

02:09:30.000 Yeah.

02:09:31.000 I choose to look at those positives because police brutality is not a new subject.

02:09:35.000 You know, oppression is not a new subject by any means.

02:09:37.000 But the reaction to it, the...

02:09:41.000 The amount of allies, the amount of times where I see... 0.99

02:09:43.000 I get so excited when I see all these young white allies, these people, these millennials that people kind of make fun of, and they're the ones in the fucking streets. 0.99

02:09:53.000 The first. 1.00

02:09:54.000 They're the first going to be like, no, this is bullshit. 1.00

02:09:55.000 We don't do this anymore. 0.99

02:09:58.000 And I love that.

02:09:59.000 To me, that's tremendous progress.

02:10:01.000 There was a million man march years ago.

02:10:04.000 Years ago, when I was a child, there was marches about this type of things.

02:10:08.000 And...

02:10:10.000 Before I was a child, you know, that's the thing I talk about.

02:10:13.000 Yeah, my mom was out on those marches getting bit by dogs and sprayed by fire hoses.

02:10:18.000 And now we've reached a point where I sit at home playing video games and I send my white assistant out to protest for me. 0.52

02:10:26.000 That's true progress.

02:10:28.000 You sent your assistant out to protest?

02:10:30.000 I did.

02:10:31.000 I can show you a picture.

02:10:33.000 Did you test him after he came back?

02:10:35.000 Hey man, before you come back to my house, I'm going to have to swab your nose.

02:10:38.000 I trust her.

02:10:39.000 She's pretty safe.

02:10:42.000 It's hard to be safe.

02:10:43.000 It is. 1.00

02:10:44.000 But she's fucking... 1.00

02:10:46.000 Yeah, she's really particular. 0.99

02:10:48.000 Thank you, Eleanor, for being so safe.

02:10:50.000 That she did that.

02:10:50.000 She did.

02:10:51.000 She protested for you.

02:10:52.000 I already put it on an airplane.

02:10:53.000 I'll find it later.

02:10:54.000 No worries.

02:10:56.000 Alright, man. 0.97

02:10:56.000 Let's wrap this up and tell everybody where they can get your podcast, social media, all that shit. 0.97

02:11:02.000 I got a lot of things going on. 0.90

02:11:04.000 My podcast is called Getting Better with Ron Funches.

02:11:07.000 You can find that wherever you find your podcast.

02:11:09.000 Even the name, Getting Better.

02:11:10.000 I love it.

02:11:11.000 Yeah, it's not about becoming the best.

02:11:13.000 It's not about we are the best. 0.92

02:11:14.000 It's the fact that every single fucking day we're trying to get better. 0.90

02:11:17.000 And sometimes we fall back, but we usually try to move forward. 0.97

02:11:20.000 And that's what it's about.

02:11:21.000 Great guests.

02:11:22.000 Conan's been on there.

02:11:23.000 Stone Cold Steve Austin's been on there.

02:11:25.000 Yeah, it's a good guest.

02:11:27.000 Nice.

02:11:29.000 That's nice.

02:11:30.000 And I got my live stream event September 5th.

02:11:32.000 People can get tickets for that.

02:11:34.000 Awakening.

02:11:34.000 Yeah.

02:11:35.000 Live stream comedy event September 5th, 7pm Pacific, 8pm Mountain.

02:11:41.000 Yeah, you get all of it.

02:11:42.000 You know that.

02:11:42.000 You were all the rest of them.

02:11:44.000 And that is Combustion Live.

02:11:48.000 Yeah, that's Chris Titus' company.

02:11:50.000 It's going to be live streaming on YouTube.

02:11:51.000 You can go get tickets at ronfunches.com.

02:11:53.000 Beautiful.

02:11:54.000 Other than that, I'm in a Netflix show called Hoops and a Disney Plus movie called The One and Only Ivan, both coming out August 21st, if people want to check.

02:12:02.000 Oh, Quibi would love it if I mentioned my game show!

02:12:05.000 Oh, you have a game show on Quibi?

02:12:07.000 I have a game show coming out on Quibi called Nice One on August 21st.

02:12:11.000 It came up off at midnight.

02:12:13.000 People know me a lot from that show.

02:12:15.000 And this is me basically kind of stealing that idea and then me being the host.

02:12:20.000 Good job.

02:12:21.000 Thank you. 0.99

02:12:21.000 Keep kicking ass, Ron Funches. 0.99

02:12:23.000 Thank you very much, sir. 1.00

02:12:24.000 Thank you.

02:12:24.000 Appreciate you, brother.

02:12:25.000 Appreciate you, too.

02:12:26.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 13, 2020

Joe Rogan Experience #1524 - Ron Funches

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