The Joe Rogan Experience - December 07, 2020


Joe Rogan Experience #1575 - Bill Burr


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 41 minutes

Words per minute

200.34445

Word count

20,355

Sentence count

2,109

Harmful content

Misogyny

60

sentences flagged

Hate speech

36

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Comedian Al Madrigal is a good friend of mine and we talk about a lot of things, but this is probably one of my favorite stories from when I was a kid growing up in the 80s and early 90s. We talk about how he was a stand-up comic in the 60s and 70s and how he got into a fight with a guy who was trying to stab him in the head with a chair. We also talk about Oprah Winfrey and how she used to be a women's only talk show host and how it was like having a secret crush on another guy who works with another guy and the guy works with the guy that works with that guy and it's like they all have a crush on the same guy and they're all in love but they don't know it and they don t know how to tell the guy and he doesn't know they're in love so they just do it in a weird way and they do it on the job and he does it in his car and it doesn't work out and he's not even aware of what he's doing it and he just does it anyway. Joe Rogan and I talk about that and a bunch of other things and then we get into a few other things that have nothing to do with comedy and comedy and stuff and we finish up with some other stuff and that's it and we're already rolling and we do it all day long and we don't even know where we're going to end and we just keep going and we keep rolling and keep rolling. We don't have time to stop and we are already rolling so we keep going. We're already so we're not even though we are going to keep going! -Joe Rogan Thank you so much for listening and we hope you're having a great day and we will see you next week. -JOE ROGAN and we'll see you soon! -ROBERT SONGS and we love you next Monday! XOXO, JOE JORDER and JOSEPH PODCASTING AND WELL DONE AND WE'LL SEE YOU SOON AND WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO TALK ABOUT IT SOON... ENJOYING IT? JOE RODAN AND JOSIE JARRELL AND I'LL BE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE SOON, BECAUSE WE ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT'S DIFFERENCE

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:06.000 Train by day.
00:00:07.000 Joe Rogan Podcast by night.
00:00:08.000 All day.
00:00:16.000 We're already rolling, so just keep going.
00:00:17.000 Oh, sorry.
00:00:18.000 We are?
00:00:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:00:20.000 We're talking about Steve Byrne's new movie.
00:00:23.000 Yeah, opening act.
00:00:24.000 Steve Byrne got in a lot of fights?
00:00:26.000 Yeah, he had more than...
00:00:27.000 He's so nice.
00:00:28.000 He is.
00:00:30.000 He is, but I don't know what it was.
00:00:32.000 But I remember he was at the comic strip, and he did the late night show, and somehow somebody threw a chair at him.
00:00:38.000 I remember it hit him in the head, and he got cut.
00:00:41.000 And then two days later, I go to the comic strip, and somebody had taken his head shot down and put staples in his forehead where he got hit by the chair and put it back up.
00:00:50.000 I guess back when you could do stuff like that, he could just tease somebody.
00:00:54.000 So he had that movie coming out.
00:00:56.000 I was just saying it got nominated for...
00:00:57.000 For some film festival awards, so I was very, very happy for him.
00:01:01.000 He's a guy, like, if you had told me, like, do you think Steve Byrne has ever been in a fight?
00:01:06.000 I'd be like, no, he's so nice.
00:01:08.000 Who's gonna fight Steve Byrne?
00:01:09.000 I'll let Steve come on here one day and tell the story.
00:01:13.000 I would love to hear it.
00:01:13.000 I know a half a dozen.
00:01:15.000 Well, Al Madrigal's another one.
00:01:17.000 Like, when I heard that Al Madrigal has a temper, I'm like, what?
00:01:20.000 Al?
00:01:21.000 I didn't.
00:01:22.000 I've never seen it.
00:01:23.000 That's weird.
00:01:24.000 The side of Al I know is always hugs.
00:01:27.000 I've known Al since he was an opening act at the Old Cobbs in San Francisco.
00:01:32.000 Downstairs, a little tiny club.
00:01:33.000 Did you ever work that place?
00:01:35.000 No, I did.
00:01:35.000 I've done the regular.
00:01:36.000 I didn't know there was another one.
00:01:38.000 The old Cobbs was tiny.
00:01:39.000 It was a little tiny place.
00:01:41.000 There was Tom Sawyer, the guy who ran the second Cobbs.
00:01:45.000 He used to run...
00:01:46.000 It was a great club.
00:01:48.000 It was great.
00:01:48.000 He had a real good taste for comedy, so the level of comedy was very good.
00:01:53.000 Dom Herrera told me about it.
00:01:54.000 So I went there and this is when Al Madrigal was first starting out.
00:01:58.000 One of the first times I ever hung out with Al Madrigal.
00:02:00.000 I was working there for the weekend.
00:02:02.000 Al was the, I think he was the MC. And after the show, he and I went over to, I think it was his brother's house, and we got super baked and watched old Oprah Winfrey episodes.
00:02:15.000 It was Oprah back when it was Big Hair Oprah.
00:02:18.000 Remember Big Hair Oprah?
00:02:19.000 I remember Crazy Show Oprah.
00:02:21.000 That was the show.
00:02:22.000 She had like KKK people and there was like white plastic chairs. 0.54
00:02:26.000 Yeah, midgets and all kinds of crazy shit. 1.00
00:02:28.000 That was what Oprah was.
00:02:30.000 And we were just barbecued, smoking out of a bong like high school kids. 0.98
00:02:33.000 Right.
00:02:34.000 Watching Oprah Winfrey.
00:02:36.000 Yeah, that's Big Hair Oprah. 1.00
00:02:38.000 Old school.
00:02:39.000 Oh, wow.
00:02:39.000 Old school.
00:02:41.000 I don't remember.
00:02:42.000 That's when she was probably just in Chicago, right?
00:02:45.000 I do not know, but it was like...
00:02:46.000 No, wait.
00:02:47.000 I was watching it back.
00:02:48.000 I knew of it.
00:02:49.000 Well, that was back when she had the smarts to see where that was going.
00:02:53.000 Because that was like Morton Downey Jr., the Ricky Lakes, and all of them were just doing...
00:02:57.000 Daytime TV... Was fucking bananas.
00:03:00.000 Crazy.
00:03:01.000 Was crazy.
00:03:01.000 And then Jerry Springer, I think he was like the goat of all of that stuff.
00:03:05.000 He hung in there longer than all of them.
00:03:07.000 Jenny Jones was doing it.
00:03:09.000 Remember Jenny Jones?
00:03:11.000 She used to have a comedy show.
00:03:12.000 Do you remember this?
00:03:13.000 Where it was women's only.
00:03:15.000 Jenny Jones was a comic before she was ever one of those daytime talk show hosts. 1.00
00:03:19.000 Okay.
00:03:19.000 She was like a pretty good comic, you know, doing the road, but she found a niche and that niche was girls only.
00:03:24.000 So she wouldn't let anybody in that was a man.
00:03:26.000 No managers, get the fuck out of here. 1.00
00:03:28.000 It was all women. 1.00
00:03:29.000 And so they would tell like dirty dick sucking stories and wild shit and just do wild comedy only for women. 1.00
00:03:35.000 And Jenny Jones had a super popular daytime talk show until...
00:03:40.000 They had a show where they had a guy on, and he said, you have a secret crush, and they bring in the secret crush, and it's another guy that he works with.
00:03:49.000 And the guy who he works with was like, you know, I've always fantasized about you, and this and that.
00:03:54.000 And so he went over that guy's house after the show aired.
00:03:56.000 He was embarrassed, and he shot him and killed him.
00:03:58.000 Yeah, I remember.
00:03:59.000 Yeah, and then they were like...
00:04:00.000 That was it.
00:04:02.000 They killed the show.
00:04:05.000 You know, it happens.
00:04:07.000 Music, everything like that.
00:04:08.000 That was the end of the disco era, I guess, of the talk shows.
00:04:12.000 But with Al Magical, I can't imagine that he had a temper.
00:04:16.000 My experiences with Al Magical was always super fun, very friendly, always laughing.
00:04:21.000 No, he doesn't snap.
00:04:22.000 He just sort of gets quiet and then stares at the target and the wheels start turning.
00:04:28.000 I think he's half Sicilian, half Mexican, so he has all that love, family, all that.
00:04:34.000 But if you cross him...
00:04:35.000 The anger.
00:04:38.000 It's not like me.
00:04:40.000 I got the German-Irish temper where I just flip out and I start screaming. 0.97
00:04:44.000 He's plotting your demise.
00:04:49.000 I used to do a thing with him at Nerd Melt.
00:04:52.000 And I swear to God, it was like every three shows, he would tell a story about something that he did during his daily dad life, something that somebody did to him, and what he did to get revenge.
00:05:04.000 And, you know, as he's telling it, he's not in the mindset.
00:05:07.000 He's like, okay, so they did this.
00:05:09.000 And so I was like, okay.
00:05:10.000 And then I went down, and then just this calculated, like...
00:05:15.000 It made it more disturbing.
00:05:16.000 It made it more disturbing.
00:05:17.000 Well, he used to have to fire people for his family's business.
00:05:21.000 Right.
00:05:21.000 And I think he developed a hard shell when he had to learn how to do that.
00:05:26.000 No, he has an incredible book in him on how to do that and then also how to break up with women.
00:05:32.000 The way he did it, it was just like...
00:05:35.000 These are his stories, so you gotta have him on.
00:05:38.000 Have him tell the story of the way he would end a relationship.
00:05:44.000 I haven't seen Alan forever.
00:05:46.000 Yeah, no.
00:05:47.000 Is he doing comedy during this pandemic shit?
00:05:49.000 What is he doing?
00:05:50.000 I haven't seen anybody unless you were on the same parking lot show that I was on or whatever.
00:05:56.000 I've started the Magic Castle parking lot where they park everybody's cars.
00:06:01.000 That's a good one that I've been doing.
00:06:03.000 They're doing shows there?
00:06:04.000 Stand-up?
00:06:04.000 Yeah.
00:06:05.000 Dude, they're actually fun as shit.
00:06:07.000 Really?
00:06:07.000 The first night I went there, I bombed.
00:06:09.000 It was my first five minutes because my idea...
00:06:13.000 Because this stand-up thing is you don't understand how you're just listening to the crowd and you lock in where they're at and then you start taking them where they're going, where you want them to go, right?
00:06:26.000 And you get on a roll and then that's when you can start killing.
00:06:30.000 They're in their cars.
00:06:32.000 So it was like, it felt like I was like deaf, trying to do stand-up and trying to gauge how they were laughing.
00:06:39.000 But the weirdest thing, though, is just after one night, you adjust to it.
00:06:42.000 And then your whole new idea of what killing sounds like You're able to block out the traffic and the police helicopters.
00:06:50.000 I'm not even joking, because it's right in downtown Hollywood.
00:06:52.000 And then it just becomes this crazy fun gig, and there's comics waiting to go on behind you.
00:06:58.000 It's really this amazing thing where I kind of feel like you're kind of going back to just the pure love of just going up there, trying shit out, making people laugh, supporting other comics.
00:07:10.000 People are adapting.
00:07:11.000 Yeah, it's been as crazy a year and so much bad stuff has happened to so many people.
00:07:17.000 That aspect of it has been fun and it kind of woke up all this muscle memory that I had as a comedian that I lost.
00:07:27.000 Because once you start selling tickets, you do get a little softer because you get the, oh, it's this guy.
00:07:33.000 We like this guy.
00:07:34.000 Where before, I had to go back to like, okay, I got to get these people.
00:07:39.000 I don't have to go on stage and now I have to avoid losing them.
00:07:43.000 Joey Diaz started to get some popularity.
00:07:46.000 And when Joey Diaz started to get some popularity, one of the things he started doing is going to the dirtiest, dingiest open mics that he could find.
00:07:53.000 Like, specifically.
00:07:54.000 Yeah.
00:07:55.000 I go, why do you like doing that?
00:07:56.000 He goes, Joe Rogan.
00:07:57.000 He goes, you can't forget your roots.
00:07:59.000 You can't forget your roots, Joe Rogan!
00:08:01.000 And he was serious about it.
00:08:03.000 I could hear him, I was on the phone with him, taking hits off the joint.
00:08:07.000 Joe Rogan, listen to me.
00:08:09.000 These motherfuckers don't know. 1.00
00:08:10.000 They don't know.
00:08:11.000 They don't know what we went through.
00:08:12.000 They don't know the fucking trenches.
00:08:13.000 These fucking kids out here are soft.
00:08:15.000 He goes, they're talking to me.
00:08:16.000 Oh, I can't get up at the comedy store.
00:08:18.000 I can't get up at the comedy.
00:08:20.000 Bitch, I did 20 minutes in La Hombra. 1.00
00:08:23.000 I drove down to a fucking Chinese restaurant and I did an open mic night in front of 15 people and only 10 of them spoke English.
00:08:30.000 And he would just do these gigs.
00:08:31.000 He would do four a night.
00:08:33.000 Like, I go, what'd you do last night?
00:08:34.000 He goes, I went down here, and then Felipe has a room.
00:08:37.000 I went down and I did that.
00:08:38.000 And then I did that.
00:08:39.000 And he would do this on a regular basis.
00:08:41.000 And he did it specifically because he felt like he had to be in motion.
00:08:45.000 He goes, I gotta go back to my roots.
00:08:48.000 Yeah.
00:08:49.000 Well, I didn't do that.
00:08:49.000 Yeah.
00:08:52.000 I've done a few of those.
00:08:54.000 That's what I used to like about Ha Ha, the Ha Ha Cafe.
00:08:56.000 There was a point where I started to do those because the comedy store got so crazy.
00:09:01.000 It was such like, it was so like, just on 10. Yeah.
00:09:06.000 Then everybody was murdering everything.
00:09:08.000 Like, even during the, every night started feeling like Saturday night.
00:09:11.000 Like, I want to go out.
00:09:13.000 Lean on the mic stand, try out some shit, feel out a story or something like that.
00:09:17.000 And then I'm going on after, you know, these beasts on the show.
00:09:19.000 And it was like, oh man.
00:09:21.000 So I started doing the belly room.
00:09:23.000 And then there was a really cool one on Fairfax that I was doing in this back room of this, like, I want to say Russian bar or something like that.
00:09:31.000 It was fucking great.
00:09:31.000 Great.
00:09:33.000 And I went there and I felt that thing again where it was like, you know, I feel like if I go to the comedy store, somebody knows who I am.
00:09:41.000 If I go to that one, most of the people don't even know who I am.
00:09:44.000 Because you start to forget, like, just how much shit there is out there to watch.
00:09:50.000 And all you need is just, like, 1,200 people in each city to know who you are, and you could do, like, a theater.
00:09:56.000 But, you know, you can have a very niche-level thing.
00:10:00.000 Like, I try to explain that to somebody where they go, oh, you're selling this thing out so everybody knows who you are.
00:10:04.000 It's like, no.
00:10:05.000 It's like there's people selling out Madison Square Garden.
00:10:08.000 Bands you've never even fucking heard of, but there's 20,000 people that know who they are, you know what I mean?
00:10:14.000 So I'm sort of tapping into that, trying to go to these places where you could have that fun again of like, oh, you don't think I'm funny.
00:10:22.000 Oh, you guys don't know that I know how to do this shit.
00:10:25.000 And so then that also means you don't know how I joke around.
00:10:28.000 So now I can have this fun of...
00:10:31.000 Of like, you don't know what my style is, so it can still be like surprising as opposed to, oh, now he's going to do this, now he's going to flip out, and then I'm going to laugh and clap, and then he's going to say goodnight.
00:10:42.000 You know, you can kind of break out of that, which is...
00:10:44.000 It's fun.
00:10:45.000 The worst thing that can happen to a comic is you get real soft because everybody loves you and they go to see you and they laugh at anything you say.
00:10:51.000 That's one of the reasons why Steve Martin said he stopped touring.
00:10:54.000 Because Steve Martin, when I was a kid, Let's Get Small was out and he would come out with the bunny ears on and play the banjo.
00:11:03.000 Fuck, he was so good.
00:11:05.000 These kids today, these motherfucking kids today, they don't know that Steve Martin was a monster.
00:11:10.000 No, they don't know about that, but they know...
00:11:11.000 They're doing hell rooms.
00:11:12.000 Nobody just shows up at the comedy.
00:11:14.000 I mean, they don't know how good Steve Martin was.
00:11:14.000 That's not what I mean.
00:11:14.000 Oh, no, no, no.
00:11:17.000 Like, people forgot when Steve Martin was doing...
00:11:19.000 I don't know if he was doing arenas.
00:11:20.000 No, he did.
00:11:20.000 He did, like, Nassau Coliseum.
00:11:22.000 Oh, okay.
00:11:22.000 He got that big.
00:11:23.000 When he was doing his albums, like, they were so silly and so fun and so different.
00:11:29.000 He had his own unique style, you know?
00:11:32.000 And when he just felt like...
00:11:36.000 Anything he did, they laughed at.
00:11:38.000 And he lost track of whether or not it was good or not.
00:11:41.000 And he just stopped doing it.
00:11:42.000 And I remember thinking when I was first starting doing comedy, I can't imagine, A, that that could ever happen, or B, that you can't...
00:11:49.000 There's not a workaround, Steve?
00:11:51.000 You're the fucking man.
00:11:53.000 I think it really was he also had all these ideas for film and all the stuff that he did.
00:11:57.000 Yeah.
00:11:59.000 But, you know, it's kind of interesting, like, where he is...
00:12:03.000 What he used to say about it was such a serious time that he was coming out of the previous decade, all the assassinations, the Vietnam War, the gas crisis and all that.
00:12:14.000 And all these comics were talking about all this heavy shit and he was just super silly.
00:12:19.000 It was like a mental break.
00:12:22.000 Somebody came to us with a pilot idea for something, and it was over-the-top, like, absurd and silly, and, like, that was my reference.
00:12:31.000 I'm going, dude, this is like the Steve Martin bunny ear thing.
00:12:33.000 Everybody's, like, going with Trump and the virus, and it's like, this thing is just silly.
00:12:39.000 There's no Me Too cancel call.
00:12:41.000 There's nothing in here.
00:12:42.000 You can just sit down like that Dumb and Dumber type of thing, that type of stuff that I love.
00:12:46.000 Yeah, there he is.
00:12:46.000 Look at him.
00:12:47.000 Look at him.
00:12:49.000 I'm telling you, people today, it's hard to appreciate how big he was.
00:12:54.000 And I was a kid, right?
00:12:56.000 So when Steve Martin was huge, I mean, what year was this?
00:13:01.000 It's late 70s.
00:13:02.000 84, but yeah, all this is probably before that too.
00:13:04.000 Yeah.
00:13:05.000 Was he still doing comedy in 84?
00:13:07.000 I found a video that said it was a stand-up performance from 84. That's probably right around the time when he stopped.
00:13:12.000 I thought he stopped before that.
00:13:14.000 But when I was in high school was when Steve Martin was born standing up.
00:13:20.000 He's got a great book too.
00:13:21.000 That's the book, Born Standing Up.
00:13:22.000 You know what kills me is I loaned that to somebody.
00:13:24.000 Gave it up in 81. I never got it back.
00:13:24.000 There you go.
00:13:26.000 81. So he gave it up when I was a freshman in high school.
00:13:29.000 The book is great.
00:13:30.000 Red Band gave me the book for Christmas one year.
00:13:32.000 It's really good.
00:13:33.000 It's really interesting too because...
00:13:35.000 Like I said, I think when you talk about great comics of all these generations, for whatever reason, people just think of him as a great movie star.
00:13:44.000 They think The Jerk, which is an unbelievably funny movie, and all those amazing movies that he did.
00:13:49.000 That was a great movie.
00:13:50.000 He doesn't like these cans!
00:13:53.000 So stupid.
00:13:54.000 He was so good.
00:13:55.000 What was the Mafia movie he played?
00:13:55.000 He was so silly.
00:13:57.000 What was that one?
00:13:58.000 The guy with the big hair?
00:13:58.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:59.000 And he goes into the supermarket and he gets the price gun and everything's like 99 cents and he's kind of standing there as he's scanning all this filet mignons and everything.
00:14:07.000 My Blue Heaven.
00:14:07.000 What was that?
00:14:08.000 My Blue Heaven, yeah.
00:14:10.000 Yeah, Rick Moranis.
00:14:12.000 That was a great fucking, that bit that you did on Saturday Night Live about Rick Moranis getting punched in the face.
00:14:17.000 Do you know, I thought that, if anything, I thought, because everybody loves Rick, which I do too, of course.
00:14:17.000 I was fucking howling.
00:14:22.000 I was just, you know, it was the perfect.
00:14:23.000 Just a joke.
00:14:24.000 Yeah, I thought that that was the one that was going to get people upset.
00:14:28.000 It's like, everybody loves Rick Moranis.
00:14:30.000 Who wants to see him get punched?
00:14:32.000 Well, he's a white man.
00:14:34.000 You can punch a white man today, and they have very little sympathy for it.
00:14:38.000 Yeah, I think it was because of the other shit that I did.
00:14:40.000 Well, it was a lot.
00:14:41.000 You know what's annoying is somebody was trying to say why that white woman joke worked really fucking annoyed me. 0.99
00:14:48.000 It's like, it worked because he called himself out for being a toxic white male too.
00:14:52.000 It's like, shut, it's not, that's not why it worked.
00:14:55.000 It worked because it's true. 0.64
00:14:56.000 And what I love about that bit, the second I'm going into it, people of color are already laughing. 1.00
00:15:01.000 Yeah.
00:15:01.000 The part where I say toxic white male thing is to get the person who wrote that article to come along for the ride.
00:15:06.000 Yeah.
00:15:06.000 And they, they, yeah, yeah, you know why it worked.
00:15:09.000 Yeah.
00:15:10.000 I don't know why it works.
00:15:11.000 I'm the guy who fucking wrote it and I'm watching it.
00:15:14.000 Watching it work.
00:15:15.000 But why don't you explain to me...
00:15:17.000 The fucking arrogance of that is what...
00:15:20.000 I listen to all this music.
00:15:20.000 I mean...
00:15:23.000 I would never sit...
00:15:23.000 You know why that song works?
00:15:26.000 But don't you think that it's also...
00:15:27.000 Because he uses his fucking chord to something.
00:15:29.000 But it's a popular culture moment, and it's an opportunity to do commentary to make an article that you know is going to get a lot of clicks.
00:15:39.000 It's a scam.
00:15:40.000 Yeah, maybe I'm taking the bait.
00:15:41.000 I don't know what it is, but it's just like, I don't mind, I like this, I don't like this, but don't fucking sit there and start, you know, I'm going to tell a mechanic why the car he just fixed is fucking working, not knowing how to fix a car.
00:15:53.000 A lot of what's going on today with commentary is disingenuous in that it's not necessarily what they really think, but it's what they think will get a reaction from the people that align with their ideology.
00:16:05.000 I found the solution to it.
00:16:07.000 What is it?
00:16:07.000 The solution.
00:16:08.000 I don't pay attention, even though I did read that.
00:16:08.000 I just...
00:16:11.000 That's why I don't.
00:16:12.000 I waited a month before I read anything, and the first thing I read...
00:16:16.000 My wife just hears me upstairs.
00:16:17.000 You don't mind a fucking thing.
00:16:17.000 Oh, what the?
00:16:18.000 She goes, stop reading that stuff.
00:16:20.000 I'm like, you're right.
00:16:21.000 You're right.
00:16:25.000 I just, I exist now, but I live in a different time.
00:16:29.000 Yeah.
00:16:30.000 Including, like, movies, cars, everything that I look at.
00:16:33.000 Like, I'm just right now, I'm on a...
00:16:35.000 I'm watching just car movies from the 1970s.
00:16:40.000 And I'm having...
00:16:41.000 Oh, dude, I gotta get this clip for you.
00:16:42.000 One of the great...
00:16:43.000 What's that fucking point blank?
00:16:45.000 What's that movie with the Challenger?
00:16:47.000 That famous movie with the 1970s?
00:16:49.000 Vanishing Point.
00:16:50.000 Vanishing Point.
00:16:50.000 I almost said Point of Entry, which is a Judas Priest album.
00:16:52.000 I watched...
00:16:53.000 I got a clip for you guys.
00:16:55.000 I don't know if I can...
00:16:56.000 If you guys can find this...
00:16:57.000 Send it to Jamie.
00:16:58.000 Oh, I can send it to you?
00:16:59.000 Alright, this is like...
00:16:59.000 Yeah.
00:17:00.000 As far as bad 70s lines that an actor had to deliver, one of my favorites of all time was that movie Over the Edge with the young Matt Dillon.
00:17:12.000 It's a fucking amazing movie.
00:17:13.000 It's about these kids that...
00:17:15.000 Back when white families were moving out of the crime-infested cities and they were starting these... 0.98
00:17:24.000 Whatever.
00:17:25.000 These suburban things.
00:17:27.000 But all the kids were doing drugs and all that shit.
00:17:29.000 It's basically about stuff like that.
00:17:30.000 So the kids end up being these crazy white kids, and they take over the school. 1.00
00:17:35.000 And at one point, they lock all the parents, because they had this big meeting about the kids, and the kids snuck in, and they locked them all in the little auditorium.
00:17:42.000 And as they're vandalizing the school, one of the cops is trying to get out, and this chick runs by with a giant globe, and she sees the cop, and she stops, and she just goes, Eat it, you stinking pig! 0.95
00:17:52.000 It's just like...
00:17:55.000 It's like, who the fuck writes shit like that?
00:17:57.000 So, I was watching a movie called The Car, which is sort of Carrie.
00:18:02.000 It's the same deal?
00:18:04.000 Yeah.
00:18:04.000 I'll send it to you.
00:18:05.000 Here it is.
00:18:06.000 Oh, there it is.
00:18:07.000 Oh, God.
00:18:07.000 You gotta have...
00:18:08.000 Give me some volume.
00:18:09.000 Give me some volume in that.
00:18:18.000 You stink, I'm kidding.
00:18:20.000 Ha ha ha!
00:18:23.000 I just sit there and rewind that and just laugh my ass off.
00:18:27.000 I can't find...
00:18:28.000 Dude, I'm the worst with this shit.
00:18:31.000 No, because it's such a specific...
00:18:34.000 There's so many good car movies.
00:18:37.000 I mean, Bullet with Steve McQueen.
00:18:40.000 That's the ultimate car movie.
00:18:41.000 Yeah, those are like the good ones.
00:18:42.000 Oh my god.
00:18:43.000 Those are the good ones, but I just watched Burt Reynolds' White Lightning, who Ned Beatty is fucking amazing in that one.
00:18:51.000 What is White Lightning?
00:18:52.000 White Lightning.
00:18:54.000 Is that Moonshine?
00:18:54.000 Moonshine, yeah.
00:18:55.000 So it's about a guy.
00:18:57.000 It's about a corrupt cop.
00:18:59.000 Burt Reynolds is in jail.
00:19:00.000 There he is.
00:19:01.000 Burt fucking Reynolds.
00:19:01.000 Look at him.
00:19:03.000 Yeah, he lies that he's going to try to help get the moonshiners, but he really wants to go out and get revenge on the cop that did something bad to one of his family members. 0.92
00:19:11.000 Played by Ned Beatty.
00:19:12.000 It takes place in Arkansas.
00:19:14.000 He's got a four-door...
00:19:16.000 What has he got?
00:19:19.000 Ford Torino?
00:19:20.000 No, Ford Galaxy 500. Look at that picture!
00:19:26.000 For some reason, my goddamn photos aren't...
00:19:30.000 Loading.
00:19:32.000 This is a sad episode of Fast and Loose.
00:19:36.000 Or Fast and Loud, rather.
00:19:38.000 Richard Rawlings.
00:19:39.000 Uh-huh.
00:19:40.000 Where they go to Burt Reynolds to get him to sign a Trans Am. 0.96
00:19:46.000 Oh, I saw that.
00:19:47.000 And he could barely walk.
00:19:48.000 He's like...
00:19:49.000 Well, because he played football at Florida State, and then he also did all of his own stunts.
00:19:53.000 And then, you know, people didn't know how to repair knees and shit like that.
00:19:56.000 No, no.
00:19:57.000 Here it is.
00:19:57.000 Oh, God.
00:19:58.000 There he is.
00:19:58.000 Okay, how do I send this?
00:20:01.000 You can do an airdrop.
00:20:02.000 I don't know how to do that.
00:20:02.000 Just...
00:20:03.000 All right.
00:20:07.000 Yeah, there's Burt Reynolds right there.
00:20:09.000 Oh, yeah.
00:20:11.000 No, it's just...
00:20:12.000 It's just a classic Burt Reynolds movie, and he worked a lot with, like, Ned Beatty, who's just one of the great character actors of all time.
00:20:19.000 So I've just been, like, either watching shows like that, or, like, you know, the Friends of Eddie Coyle, watching, like, really good movies from then, and then just watching, like, crazy shit.
00:20:26.000 I just watch that, and I have a good time.
00:20:29.000 Rather than going on, like, social media and shit like that, I've been, you know, watching all these French movies and shit, and just, like...
00:20:36.000 No, it's bad for you.
00:20:38.000 Alright, here you go.
00:20:39.000 This is this woman yelling at this car. 1.00
00:20:42.000 It's another great clip from the 1970s.
00:21:01.000 What?
00:21:02.000 A tadpole?
00:21:03.000 No, cat poo.
00:21:04.000 Cat poo?
00:21:05.000 Yeah.
00:21:05.000 That's what she's saying?
00:21:09.000 You cat poo?
00:21:10.000 Oh my god.
00:21:12.000 I don't know why that made the movie.
00:21:14.000 Why is that so funny for you?
00:21:16.000 Because it's so bad.
00:21:18.000 The acting in this movie is so fucking bad.
00:21:21.000 In the beginning, the car runs over two people on 10-speed bikes.
00:21:25.000 And the acting in just that in the beginning...
00:21:27.000 So that's a bad car?
00:21:29.000 That's an evil car?
00:21:30.000 Yeah, there's nobody in it.
00:21:37.000 It's a 71 Lincoln Mach 3, 4, 5. I don't know what it is.
00:21:41.000 And it's just...
00:21:42.000 And the funny thing is, is it's terrorizing this little-ass town.
00:21:46.000 And it's killing...
00:21:47.000 I lost track of how many cops die in this little town.
00:21:51.000 And they never ask for help at the state level.
00:21:53.000 They never call in the army.
00:21:55.000 They figure out nobody's driving this fucking car.
00:21:58.000 And nobody tries to go...
00:22:00.000 You know, I think this problem's a little bigger than our little town here.
00:22:03.000 So Did you ever see Jeepers Creepers?
00:22:08.000 No, but that has that great truck in it.
00:22:10.000 The cab over engine, right?
00:22:10.000 Yes.
00:22:11.000 It's like a demon driving a truck.
00:22:13.000 Yeah.
00:22:14.000 Jeepers Creepers is an underrated, fun, horror movie.
00:22:17.000 But there's a lot of those movies where there's- Why are you laughing?
00:22:19.000 You said that last time.
00:22:21.000 It's not good.
00:22:22.000 I said what last time?
00:22:23.000 This movie was good.
00:22:24.000 It's underrated.
00:22:25.000 Okay.
00:22:26.000 What the fuck, Jamie?
00:22:27.000 Yeah.
00:22:28.000 No, there's a lot of these- I enjoy it.
00:22:30.000 Can I enjoy something that you don't enjoy?
00:22:32.000 Is that okay?
00:22:33.000 Yeah, so I've kind of been doing like- Fair.
00:22:37.000 So White Lightning led to the next movie.
00:22:40.000 Reynolds played a character called Gator.
00:22:42.000 Oh, I remember that.
00:22:43.000 And then the next movie is called Gator.
00:22:45.000 But you just watch it.
00:22:45.000 The way that women are treated...
00:22:47.000 Oh, it's awful.
00:22:48.000 Dude, it's fucking...
00:22:49.000 We were talking about close...
00:22:51.000 Not close encounters.
00:22:52.000 Poltergeist.
00:22:53.000 We watched Poltergeist with the family.
00:22:55.000 And there's a scene in Poltergeist where these construction workers...
00:22:58.000 Are sexually harassing this guy's 16-year-old daughter, and the wife is laughing.
00:23:04.000 She's looking through the window as the construction workers on her property are going, Hey, I love you!
00:23:11.000 And they're looking at her through a cone and shit, and she goes like this, Fuck off to them! 0.99
00:23:16.000 And the mom is like, Ha ha! 1.00
00:23:19.000 Yeah, because she raised her right, because she knew that she could handle...
00:23:21.000 Yeah, but if you were...
00:23:22.000 That's nuts.
00:23:23.000 If that was today, in a film, you'd be like, what the fuck kind of monsters are they?
00:23:27.000 And what's wrong with that mom? 1.00
00:23:28.000 That mom is an enabler.
00:23:30.000 That girl's going to grow up to be fucked up. 1.00
00:23:32.000 Yeah, you know, we continue to grow as people.
00:23:34.000 Yes, but it's not that long ago.
00:23:36.000 That's what's crazy.
00:23:37.000 Hey, pull up Sheeper's Creeper. 0.63
00:23:39.000 Show me a clip.
00:23:39.000 It's great.
00:23:40.000 Hey, Poltergeist was almost 40 years ago.
00:23:42.000 It was a long time ago.
00:23:43.000 Yeah, I guess so.
00:23:44.000 But it's amazing how much things change in 40 years.
00:23:47.000 Well, just put yourself in 1981. And that's like looking back to 1941. See, these guys are driving.
00:23:55.000 That's Justin Long!
00:23:55.000 Hey!
00:23:56.000 Get the fuck out of here!
00:23:57.000 That's the dude from the Mac commercial.
00:23:58.000 Yeah, he's the Mac.
00:24:00.000 Remember the other guy's the PC? That's him.
00:24:02.000 Look at this fucking evil truck with blacked out windows.
00:24:05.000 Get away from me! 1.00
00:24:06.000 He's the voice of Kevin on F is for Family.
00:24:09.000 Oh, is he?
00:24:09.000 Yeah.
00:24:10.000 Oh, that's hilarious!
00:24:11.000 Dude, he's one of the best mimics I've ever- He can imitate anybody.
00:24:14.000 He's fucking hilarious.
00:24:16.000 He's hilarious.
00:24:17.000 This is it.
00:24:18.000 This is like them doing their open mics.
00:24:19.000 They get in these early films.
00:24:21.000 These slasher things.
00:24:21.000 Yeah.
00:24:24.000 2001. 19 years ago.
00:24:27.000 Crazy.
00:24:28.000 Good film, Jamie.
00:24:29.000 It's a good film.
00:24:30.000 Well made.
00:24:32.000 Scary.
00:24:37.000 There's some movies that I liked when I was a kid that I watch now and I was like, oh my god, what was wrong with me?
00:24:41.000 Yeah.
00:24:42.000 But you didn't know.
00:24:43.000 You didn't know.
00:24:44.000 You thought things were good.
00:24:44.000 Yeah.
00:24:45.000 There's a lot of those.
00:24:47.000 But that's a good way, I've found, just mentally to get out of the Eddie.
00:24:52.000 Because as a comedian, you have to be on social media, I guess.
00:24:54.000 I mean, I don't know a way not to be.
00:24:56.000 And it's just like impossible...
00:24:59.000 Like, I am so fucking ridiculously addicted to my phone.
00:25:03.000 Like, the amount of times that I set it down, going like, enough with that shit.
00:25:06.000 And then I'll just sit there, and then five seconds later, I'm just picking it up.
00:25:09.000 And like, you know what it is?
00:25:11.000 Is it's also like, I watch, even when I'm watching TV, I'll be like, oh, look at this old movie.
00:25:15.000 I wonder if that guy's still alive.
00:25:17.000 And I start looking, oh, he died.
00:25:17.000 Right, and then you start Googling.
00:25:18.000 What did he die of?
00:25:20.000 You know, 82. You know, it's not bad, you know?
00:25:23.000 Let's see if someone's talking shit about me.
00:25:25.000 Yeah, well, let's, no, it's, I don't do that.
00:25:27.000 I go, let's see what these, I don't know.
00:25:32.000 Social media is bad.
00:25:33.000 I mean, it's good and it's bad, right?
00:25:35.000 But the bad part is you can get lost in other people's opinions and want to defend yourself.
00:25:40.000 And then, you know, people misrepresent what you said or distort what you said or take it out of context.
00:25:45.000 And then you're like, hey!
00:25:47.000 And then you think, well, how many people are reading that and thinking the wrong thing about me?
00:25:52.000 No, I never respond to it.
00:25:54.000 I just flip out.
00:25:54.000 I don't either.
00:25:55.000 I do what I call post and ghost.
00:25:58.000 When I make a post, I make a post, and then I put my phone away, and I walk out of the room.
00:26:03.000 I leave my phone in other rooms.
00:26:05.000 I thought you were going to say, you write what you want to say, and then you delete it.
00:26:07.000 And I'd be like, I'd be too nervous you accidentally hit send.
00:26:10.000 I make a post, and then I go away.
00:26:12.000 I don't look at what people are saying about the post.
00:26:15.000 I just get the fuck out of there.
00:26:16.000 It never is a good use of time.
00:26:20.000 There's so many things that I like to do, and that's one thing that saves me, is that I have so many obsessions.
00:26:26.000 There's so many things I like to do, but the phone will get me.
00:26:31.000 You know what will get me?
00:26:32.000 Fucking YouTube.
00:26:34.000 Watching nothing.
00:26:35.000 It'll be an hour.
00:26:36.000 I'll watch a video on how they make watches.
00:26:39.000 And then I'll watch three or four pool matches.
00:26:42.000 And then I'll watch, oh, 1970 Chevelle.
00:26:44.000 Oh, how'd they make that?
00:26:45.000 You know what I hate, though, about all of those?
00:26:48.000 Once you click on one thing, then they just give you 40 of the same thing.
00:26:51.000 Yeah.
00:26:52.000 It's almost like they don't want you to progress.
00:27:00.000 I think I told this story last time I was on here.
00:27:01.000 On Netflix, I watched all of Narcos.
00:27:04.000 And then everything became behind the scenes of San Quentin and blah, blah, blah.
00:27:08.000 So I've been trying to watch these French movies, right?
00:27:12.000 But for some reason, because I think I'm here, they keep giving me the English-speaking ones.
00:27:17.000 It's like, that's not what I'm trying to do here.
00:27:18.000 I'm trying to watch their shit.
00:27:20.000 Like, how do I get out of this?
00:27:22.000 They kind of keep dragging you back down to...
00:27:25.000 Well, they find what you're...
00:27:26.000 I mean, the algorithm's pretty simple.
00:27:28.000 I mean, it's not simple.
00:27:29.000 It's complicated.
00:27:29.000 But it's a simple formula in terms of, like, how it applies.
00:27:32.000 Whatever you're interested in, it's going to show you.
00:27:34.000 Whatever you're going to spend the most time looking at, it's going to show you.
00:27:37.000 Whether it's things you hate, like YouTube or Facebook, that accentuates things that give you the...
00:27:42.000 It turns out it's really just what you're responding to and spending time on.
00:27:48.000 Like, Ari did an experiment. 0.99
00:27:49.000 Ari's experiment was he only looked up puppies on YouTube. 0.99
00:27:53.000 That's it, just puppies.
00:27:54.000 And then all YouTube was showing him was puppies.
00:27:57.000 And he was trying to tell people, look, this isn't insidious.
00:28:00.000 It's not like the man's trying to keep you angry.
00:28:02.000 It's like you're keeping yourself angry.
00:28:04.000 If you just go and look at puppies all day, that's all it's going to show you.
00:28:08.000 I don't know.
00:28:10.000 I feel like if I look at one puppy video, then they give me a bunch more.
00:28:16.000 And it's just like, okay, maybe I've moved past puppies at this point.
00:28:19.000 Yeah, but that's up to you.
00:28:20.000 You yourself.
00:28:21.000 You have to search for things that aren't puppy-related.
00:28:23.000 I know.
00:28:25.000 But it's just easier just to click on what they're giving me.
00:28:27.000 Of course!
00:28:28.000 Oh, more puppy videos.
00:28:29.000 This is my safe space.
00:28:31.000 Yeah.
00:28:32.000 Dude, I saw two really good French movies.
00:28:34.000 I saw one called Lost Bullet and then I saw one called Blood and Earth.
00:28:37.000 I heard of Lost Bullet.
00:28:38.000 What is that?
00:28:39.000 Lost Bullet is...
00:28:40.000 I'd say it's sort of a Jason Statham style movie, like action movie.
00:28:46.000 A lot of cars, a lot of people getting shot, you know?
00:28:49.000 Nice.
00:28:50.000 Dumb shit that I watch, but it's done really well.
00:28:52.000 It's done shot really well.
00:28:54.000 There's a really great shot in it where a dude kills somebody Because the boss told him to, and he didn't feel good about it.
00:29:02.000 And how they got his reaction, he bludges him to death with the butt of this rifle, and the shot that they used was the reflection of the guy's face in the pool of blood of the guy he killed.
00:29:14.000 Yeah, I was just like, oh man, that's the fucking...
00:29:17.000 That right there was worth watching this whole movie just to see that shot.
00:29:20.000 Yeah, it was really cool.
00:29:21.000 Yeah, getting involved in films or anything that's outside of the shit that you're getting twisted up in your head is always good for you because it just makes you realize there's people out there doing a lot of things.
00:29:34.000 They're making cool things.
00:29:36.000 Can you get lost on social media or lost in arguing with things you don't like?
00:29:36.000 Yeah.
00:29:42.000 Yeah, I feel like I'm in the Truman Show here.
00:29:44.000 So I'm just getting the American version of movies, I'm getting the American version of news, and everybody's yelling at each other, and it's just like I'm trying to poke a hole in the tent to try to just get something else coming in, because I can't...
00:29:59.000 Yeah, it's just, you know.
00:30:00.000 There's a great Russian horror movie called Sputnik.
00:30:04.000 And it's a film that's all in subtitles.
00:30:07.000 But it's basically like their version of the movie Alien.
00:30:11.000 It's fucking good.
00:30:12.000 Oh, really?
00:30:12.000 Yeah, it's good.
00:30:13.000 Oh, okay.
00:30:14.000 I tried to watch it with my kid and she was like, I'm not reading while I watch a movie.
00:30:17.000 I'm like, damn, that is my kid.
00:30:19.000 I watch them in French with French subtitles.
00:30:22.000 Yeah.
00:30:22.000 I just watch the whole thing, try to figure out what they're talking about.
00:30:25.000 Oh, really?
00:30:26.000 Yeah, this is Sputnik.
00:30:26.000 Yeah.
00:30:28.000 It's fucking good, man.
00:30:29.000 It's a Russian film, which I'm not really aware of too many Russian films, but it's very good.
00:30:34.000 And the scenes, like the horror scenes, are fucking spectacular, man.
00:30:40.000 Yeah, I think this is what I'm going to be watching from now.
00:30:43.000 I signed up on a couple of different sites and shit.
00:30:47.000 YouTube's really cool.
00:30:48.000 You can rent movies for like four or five bucks.
00:30:50.000 Yeah.
00:30:50.000 And they'll have, like, really obscure shit.
00:30:52.000 If it's not on, like, Netflix, I'm like, alright.
00:30:53.000 Like, White Lightning, I figured where I had to go.
00:30:55.000 I signed up for something, and I got a free, like, 30-day month thing.
00:30:59.000 So it's like, I'm gonna burn through some of these older Burt Reynolds movies, you know?
00:31:04.000 Well, you know what you can do for foreign films?
00:31:06.000 Get ExpressVPN, and any kind of VPN, virtual private network, will allow you to say you're in another country.
00:31:13.000 Dude, they advertise my podcast.
00:31:15.000 We do, like, the podcast part of my stuff.
00:31:18.000 Like, I should do that with my personal stuff.
00:31:20.000 Yeah, you should.
00:31:21.000 It's great.
00:31:23.000 Oh, dude, I got one for you.
00:31:24.000 Just say you're in France, and it'll show you all these French movies that maybe you would never have access to on Netflix.
00:31:30.000 And maybe, you know, if you watch one, it'll recommend some other ones that are similar to it in the algorithm.
00:31:35.000 Dude, I got one for you.
00:31:37.000 I fucking forget the name of it, though.
00:31:39.000 It's on the Criterion channel, and it's this black and white...
00:31:43.000 I took a picture of it.
00:31:45.000 It's on my phone.
00:31:46.000 I can't remember shit, so I just take pictures of shit.
00:31:51.000 Basically, it's a guy doing a stand-up set, and he's having a bad set.
00:31:51.000 It was...
00:31:57.000 It's in black and white, and it's animated.
00:31:59.000 And it's fucking wild.
00:32:00.000 It's really like...
00:32:02.000 I never took mushrooms, but it felt like, wow, this must be when you're starting to trip, what it starts to feel like.
00:32:08.000 And they were doing this thing like...
00:32:11.000 As he was starting to, like, lose some people in the crowd, like, their faces would just go dark.
00:32:16.000 So I was thinking, like, he's turned them up.
00:32:19.000 Does that mean, like, he shut off, like, they're not into him anymore?
00:32:21.000 There's a lot of fucking layers.
00:32:23.000 It was really, it's oddly disturbing.
00:32:25.000 What's it called?
00:32:26.000 I don't know.
00:32:27.000 Jamie will find it.
00:32:28.000 Keep doing this shit.
00:32:29.000 Jamie will find it.
00:32:30.000 No, I took a picture of it, so.
00:32:32.000 He'll find it while he's switching cameras.
00:32:34.000 Okay.
00:32:35.000 I was close.
00:32:36.000 It said there's something called the Stand Up Guys.
00:32:38.000 It's not coming up, but I'm trying to find it.
00:32:38.000 Yes.
00:32:40.000 Stand-up guy.
00:32:41.000 That's what it is.
00:32:42.000 Yeah.
00:32:43.000 Google shows it, but when I click that, it says nothing found on that criteria.
00:32:47.000 Yeah, because they had the Dustin Hoffman movie when he played Lenny Bruce.
00:32:54.000 Right there.
00:32:54.000 That's it.
00:32:55.000 Wow.
00:32:57.000 The stand-up guy.
00:33:00.000 Wow.
00:33:01.000 That's another one.
00:33:03.000 I was in that movie right there.
00:33:06.000 Stand-up guys.
00:33:07.000 I got a funny story about it.
00:33:10.000 No shit.
00:33:11.000 What is that?
00:33:12.000 I never heard of that movie.
00:33:13.000 Yeah.
00:33:16.000 Fisher Stevens directed it.
00:33:17.000 What is that movie about?
00:33:18.000 It's got some up-and-coming actors in it, like Alan Arkin, Al Pacino, Christopher Walken.
00:33:24.000 How long ago was this?
00:33:25.000 Oh, dude, I got a funny story about that.
00:33:28.000 It was like, I don't know, I can't remember, but like a couple years ago, my dad called me up.
00:33:33.000 He's like, yeah, he goes, you know, I said hello.
00:33:36.000 He goes, yeah, hey, Bill, it's your dad.
00:33:38.000 I'm like, yeah, what's going on?
00:33:39.000 He goes, Chris, I gotta tell you, you know, the other night, you know, I fell asleep on the couch.
00:33:44.000 And I know you told me to stop doing that because, you know, I've hurt my back.
00:33:46.000 But, you know, it's my house.
00:33:48.000 So I fell asleep on the couch.
00:33:50.000 That is you!
00:33:52.000 He goes, you know, the TV was on.
00:33:56.000 I wake up and I see Al Pacino.
00:33:58.000 I'm like, I've never seen this movie.
00:34:00.000 And I'm sitting there and I'm watching it.
00:34:01.000 I'm like...
00:34:03.000 Jesus Christ, there's Bill.
00:34:05.000 He goes, so I wake up your mother.
00:34:06.000 I'm like, Christ, look at Bill.
00:34:07.000 He's in a movie with Al Pacino.
00:34:08.000 And he goes, when did you shoot that?
00:34:12.000 I go, Dad, it was like eight years ago.
00:34:15.000 Which is, it just shows you like how much shit is out there.
00:34:19.000 That if you're in a movie with Al Pacino, even your parents don't see it until like fucking eight years later.
00:34:24.000 So he's like, yeah.
00:34:25.000 Well, we've talked about this in the podcast.
00:34:26.000 It's a really good movie.
00:34:26.000 They don't stop making movies.
00:34:28.000 So all the old movies are still available and they make new ones every day.
00:34:32.000 They're making movies right now and they pile up.
00:34:35.000 Like the amount of data that's out there in terms of like things that you could watch, just the sheer volume, terabytes of movies that are available...
00:34:43.000 It never stops.
00:34:44.000 It just keeps piling up, and it doesn't just come from America.
00:34:47.000 It's coming from all over the world.
00:34:48.000 Yeah, and they have hacks over there, too.
00:34:50.000 Because I saw one, they were doing one of those switcheroo movies.
00:34:53.000 Like, you're like, I could be a woman.
00:34:55.000 That's fucking easy.
00:34:57.000 And then the next day, what's going on, right?
00:34:58.000 Freaky Friday, that kind of shit?
00:35:00.000 Yeah, it was a French one, and it was really fucking bizarre. 1.00
00:35:00.000 One of those shit. 1.00
00:35:03.000 I saw the trailer.
00:35:04.000 I'm like, I'm not fucking watching this shit.
00:35:07.000 They went a little further...
00:35:09.000 It was sort of like a misogynistic dude and then he was a chick but still looked like a dude and then he was hooking up with chicks and they were on top of him grabbing his throat and shit.
00:35:17.000 I'm like, what the fuck?
00:35:18.000 I ain't watching this.
00:35:19.000 But then I was also thinking like, oh, they use this same sort of like switcheroo movie over here too.
00:35:26.000 Well, that's a classic, right?
00:35:28.000 They've been doing those switcheroo movies.
00:35:29.000 When was the first one of those switcheroo movies?
00:35:33.000 It was like Jamie Lee Curtis and her daughter, right?
00:35:35.000 Yeah.
00:35:35.000 Was that the first one?
00:35:37.000 There's a really good one.
00:35:38.000 There's one that's out right now that looks really funny, though.
00:35:38.000 No, Jamie?
00:35:41.000 Yeah, Vince Vaughn's in one right now.
00:35:41.000 What?
00:35:42.000 Vince Vaughn did one.
00:35:43.000 Yes.
00:35:44.000 Where he switches with like a serial killer.
00:35:46.000 Really?
00:35:46.000 Yeah.
00:35:47.000 I thought he switched with his daughter.
00:35:48.000 Yeah, but there's some serial killer thing involved in it.
00:35:50.000 I've been like on the road, so.
00:35:51.000 That's a new one?
00:35:52.000 Yeah, I gotta watch that one.
00:35:53.000 I heard it's fucking great.
00:35:54.000 This one from the 70s.
00:35:55.000 Okay, that was the first one.
00:35:57.000 Freaky Friday.
00:35:57.000 Yeah, Freaky Friday.
00:35:58.000 But from the 70s, not with Jamie Lee.
00:36:00.000 Oh, who is the original one?
00:36:02.000 Who's in that?
00:36:03.000 Jodie Foster.
00:36:04.000 Jodie Foster!
00:36:05.000 Yeah.
00:36:06.000 Wow!
00:36:07.000 No, that's the original Freaky Friday?
00:36:09.000 So the Jamie Lee Curtis was a copy of that?
00:36:12.000 Dude, that post, that just takes me back to my childhood.
00:36:15.000 God, that's crazy.
00:36:17.000 Oh, there's three of them.
00:36:19.000 And they just remake it every ten years.
00:36:21.000 So these kids forget.
00:36:22.000 You know what else they remake a lot?
00:36:24.000 The Thing.
00:36:25.000 They've remade The Thing at least three times.
00:36:29.000 The thing was the shit.
00:36:30.000 The first one that came out on Cinemax or HBO. The first one's terrible.
00:36:35.000 And then there's the John Carpenter thing, which was really good.
00:36:38.000 That was a remake of the first one.
00:36:40.000 The first one was a 1950s one that looks like it was shot in an office.
00:36:44.000 Yeah.
00:36:46.000 Looks like somebody had an old school VHS camera and they shot it in an office with people that don't really act.
00:36:52.000 I mean, it's terrible.
00:36:53.000 See if you can find a clip from it.
00:36:55.000 You want to talk about evolution of culture.
00:36:57.000 The best way to see it is to watch old films.
00:37:00.000 Just the way they used to act back then.
00:37:02.000 It didn't make any sense.
00:37:04.000 The way they talked!
00:37:05.000 Because they were theater people.
00:37:07.000 They were used to projecting with just their voice to a whole room full of people.
00:37:12.000 And then they convert... 0.89
00:37:12.000 No, this is John Carpenter's. 0.89
00:37:14.000 This is the second one.
00:37:14.000 No, no, no.
00:37:16.000 That's the 92 one.
00:37:18.000 Excuse me.
00:37:18.000 82?
00:37:19.000 82 one.
00:37:20.000 Yeah, I was in high school.
00:37:21.000 That was great, though.
00:37:22.000 But there was one before that.
00:37:23.000 It was from the 1950s.
00:37:25.000 And that one is very strange.
00:37:28.000 And you don't really get a good look at the monster.
00:37:30.000 They did a good job back then of kind of hiding how crappy their special effects were.
00:37:35.000 The Thing From Another World.
00:37:36.000 Yeah.
00:37:37.000 Oh, okay.
00:37:38.000 So the John Carpenter version, they just shortened it.
00:37:41.000 But this is...
00:37:42.000 Give me some volume.
00:37:43.000 You hear how they talk.
00:37:44.000 Those hands and those eyes! 0.95
00:37:46.000 You've got to do something about it, you gut!
00:37:49.000 Human or inhuman.
00:37:51.000 Earthly or unearthly.
00:37:54.000 Baffling questions.
00:37:55.000 Astounding questions.
00:37:57.000 That not even the world's greatest scientific minds can answer.
00:38:01.000 Do you realize what we've found?
00:38:03.000 A being from another world as different from us as one pole from the other. 1.00
00:38:08.000 If we can only communicate with you.
00:38:11.000 How did this guy make it past the table reef?
00:38:13.000 They had nobody.
00:38:14.000 They just find people.
00:38:15.000 I just love how back then, anytime you got a little hysterical, it's just somebody would throw something at you, they'd slap you.
00:38:23.000 For Christ's sake, get a hold of yourself.
00:38:25.000 There was like no...
00:38:27.000 Smelling salt.
00:38:28.000 Understanding.
00:38:29.000 If you were upset, somebody hit you.
00:38:32.000 To make you feel better.
00:38:34.000 Like you were supposed to like, yeah, snap out of me.
00:38:34.000 Yes.
00:38:36.000 Hey, you got a little crazy there.
00:38:38.000 Like that guy is literally talking about this fucking thing that's going to kill all of them.
00:38:41.000 This guy takes...
00:38:42.000 Another man takes a full cup of water and throws it in his face.
00:38:45.000 And nobody goes like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:38:46.000 Like there's going to be a fight.
00:38:47.000 It's like, yes, that's exactly what you do in this situation.
00:38:50.000 And the guy who takes it in the face is just like, yeah, thank you.
00:38:52.000 I was being a woman.
00:38:54.000 Yeah, he's drying off his shirt.
00:38:55.000 Just being like, sorry, I got a little...
00:38:57.000 It's pretty ridiculous.
00:38:58.000 Sorry for expressing what I was feeling.
00:39:00.000 Well, back then, people were hard.
00:39:02.000 They had just gotten through the Great Depression.
00:39:04.000 I mean, that was just a couple of years before that.
00:39:06.000 Yeah, I remember that Ken Burns, the war, they used to say, guys who would come home with that PTSD would come back and they would say, like, he couldn't shake off the war.
00:39:17.000 That's all those kids had back then was shake it off.
00:39:20.000 You got to shake it off, man.
00:39:22.000 Don't think about it.
00:39:23.000 Shake it off.
00:39:23.000 Well, you remember it was shell-shocked when we were kids?
00:39:26.000 Vietnam, they'd come back shell-shocked.
00:39:28.000 They would call it shell-shocked.
00:39:30.000 But you've got to think, these people get through the Great Depression, that's the beginning of the 20th century, and then they grow up, you know, so these guys that are acting in the 1950s, in those films, like during the 1920s, you know, they were kids.
00:39:44.000 So this is the environment they came up in.
00:39:47.000 No one tolerated any bullshit.
00:39:47.000 Harsh.
00:39:49.000 Yeah, and I also think that's why those guys from back in the day, those actors were so, like, legit and seemed tough.
00:39:54.000 And they weren't, like, all buff the way guys are nowadays and all fucking, you know, shredded with abs.
00:40:00.000 But, like, Lee Marvin, like, fought in the Korean War and was shot, and, like, most of his platoon died.
00:40:06.000 Something like that.
00:40:06.000 So, like, when he's in a movie...
00:40:09.000 Like killing somebody, like he's done this shit.
00:40:11.000 So I think that there's just something about that versus today where, you know, I don't know.
00:40:11.000 Yeah.
00:40:17.000 I just had a fucked up thought.
00:40:19.000 It's dramatizing.
00:40:19.000 Well, that's why Oliver Stone, what was your fucked up thought?
00:40:22.000 That because we've been in these wars so long that we have another generation of great actors coming our way.
00:40:29.000 Our generation was too soft.
00:40:31.000 We were between Vietnam and all this crap in the Middle East. 0.99
00:40:34.000 Well, this is the...
00:40:35.000 For these guys coming up...
00:40:37.000 I'm punching my card.
00:40:38.000 That was us.
00:40:41.000 The thing about these kids coming up today, they've been involved in wars where we didn't learn from not taking care of the troops.
00:40:50.000 We didn't learn from exposing them to bad chemicals in Vietnam and Agent Orange and all the shit. 0.65
00:40:56.000 We didn't learn.
00:40:57.000 These kids are still...
00:40:59.000 You know about these burn pits that they have on bases over in Iraq and Afghanistan?
00:41:05.000 They take all their waste and they just burn it.
00:41:07.000 I didn't know about this.
00:41:09.000 I mean, I maybe had peripherally heard about it, but then Evan Hafer from Black Rifle Coffee was on the podcast talking about all these guys that are experiencing all these horrific problems because you've been breathing in toxic burn fumes.
00:41:22.000 Everything.
00:41:23.000 They burn everything.
00:41:24.000 Human shit, plastic, garbage.
00:41:26.000 They throw it all into this gigantic fire pit and it burns 24-7.
00:41:30.000 So these guys are constantly breathing in fumes from burning chemicals and burning waste.
00:41:37.000 The fact that after all the shit that happened with Agent Orange and Vietnam, that this is still going on today? 0.76
00:41:45.000 All the shit that happened in the Gulf War, the first Gulf War, with the depleted uranium where they'd come back with Gulf War sickness and nobody knew what the fuck that was and their kids would be born with all these I like all these tent cities. 0.98
00:41:58.000 They sit there and they go, support the troops, support the troops.
00:42:01.000 And then when they get homeless, they're like, they're taking up these people.
00:42:04.000 These are our sidewalks.
00:42:05.000 And I was fucking around with joking about that last night.
00:42:08.000 It's like, those are your fellow countrymen.
00:42:10.000 You can't...
00:42:10.000 I don't know.
00:42:12.000 It's a very...
00:42:13.000 It's a weird...
00:42:16.000 It isn't weird.
00:42:17.000 It's just how people are.
00:42:18.000 It's all location.
00:42:20.000 It's like real estate, right?
00:42:21.000 My friend Steve was in the woods.
00:42:24.000 Steve Rinella, he runs the show Meat Eater on Netflix.
00:42:27.000 What's that about?
00:42:28.000 It's a hunting show.
00:42:30.000 He's a conservationist.
00:42:33.000 That's pretty right on the nose.
00:42:34.000 But they had this thing they were doing where they were going into the woods, into these public land areas and cleaning up.
00:42:41.000 So they'd go in and just, because a lot of people are assholes, they leave behind water bottles and all kinds of shit.
00:42:46.000 They camp, they leave their garbage.
00:42:47.000 So they went in and they were just going in and cleaning up and they stumbled upon a homeless encampment.
00:42:54.000 And he remembers thinking that he didn't want to talk to them.
00:42:58.000 He felt like, shit, fuck, I'm running to these people.
00:43:01.000 And he said he wound up talking to them and just giving it a chance.
00:43:07.000 And they were like, oh yeah, hey, give us a bag, we'll help out.
00:43:10.000 And they started putting stuff in the bag too, and they were like normal folks.
00:43:13.000 And he realized, oh...
00:43:15.000 These are just people where it went wrong.
00:43:17.000 It went left when they should have gone right.
00:43:19.000 They lost their job.
00:43:21.000 All of a sudden, they're out in the street.
00:43:22.000 They don't know how to make a living now.
00:43:24.000 They have a tent.
00:43:25.000 Some of them are extremely dangerous.
00:43:26.000 So that's what makes you go like, I don't fucking know here.
00:43:29.000 So it's hard.
00:43:30.000 You never know.
00:43:31.000 I knew a guy that just kind of did that.
00:43:34.000 Just got tired of people is what he did.
00:43:37.000 He just fucking...
00:43:38.000 I think he did it in, like, Maine, too.
00:43:40.000 It was, like, hardcore.
00:43:41.000 There was a guy that was famous for doing it in Maine.
00:43:43.000 He was a legend.
00:43:44.000 Yeah.
00:43:45.000 Because they didn't know if he was real or not.
00:43:47.000 Because he'd break into people's houses and steal shit, and he'd live by himself for more than a decade in the woods in Maine.
00:43:53.000 I think it was longer than that, yeah.
00:43:54.000 I remember that.
00:43:54.000 You remember that story?
00:43:55.000 He finally got caught.
00:43:56.000 He finally got caught and he said like in like the 20 years he was out there.
00:43:56.000 Yeah.
00:43:59.000 No, because he was like in his 40s.
00:44:00.000 He was right after high school.
00:44:02.000 And I think one time he was walking on a trail and he just went past somebody.
00:44:06.000 27 years.
00:44:07.000 Never got sick.
00:44:09.000 So in 1986, 20 year old Christopher Knight left his home in Massachusetts, drove to Maine and disappeared into the woods.
00:44:15.000 Jesus Christ.
00:44:16.000 Imagine if that's your kid.
00:44:17.000 Like what the fuck, man?
00:44:20.000 What happened here?
00:44:21.000 Ad blocker?
00:44:22.000 Oh, they're gonna make you subscribe, you fucks. 0.97
00:44:25.000 Fucking National Geographic.
00:44:27.000 Can't you come up with a better ad model, you twats? 0.99
00:44:31.000 But yeah, that's a hard way to live.
00:44:34.000 In the woods, in Maine, in a tent.
00:44:37.000 Oh yeah.
00:44:38.000 No, these people were getting mad.
00:44:39.000 Like this person figured out how to get electricity into his tent off of the telephone pole.
00:44:44.000 It's like, that's a smart dude.
00:44:46.000 Yeah.
00:44:46.000 Get this guy a job.
00:44:47.000 And they're all like, they're acting like they're lazy.
00:44:53.000 I mean, there's lazy people out there, but you draw the line at like, okay, if I don't do this, I gotta live outside.
00:44:58.000 To look at them like they're just bums. 0.96
00:45:01.000 Well, people look at people that are doing the wrong thing like you're an outcast.
00:45:06.000 And I felt this when I was a kid in the smallest way, but I kind of understand in a way.
00:45:13.000 When I was 18, when I graduated high school...
00:45:16.000 I didn't do anything for a year because I was competing and I was like I'm just gonna dedicate myself to competing and see if I could make the Olympic team by the time I was 21 that was my goal and I also really had no idea what I wanted to study in school and the only reason why I wind up going to school at all because I didn't want people to think I was a loser so I went to college but I remember I would tell people like they're like wait where did you go to school where you going to school after I graduated college I'm like I'm taking the year off they look at you like They didn't want to hang out with me anymore.
00:45:44.000 Like, literally, they wanted to not talk to me.
00:45:46.000 Like, I could sense it.
00:45:47.000 Well, you should have hung out with me and my friends.
00:45:49.000 We would have welcomed you.
00:45:51.000 Oh, my friends did!
00:45:52.000 I went to, like, junior colleges and shit like that.
00:45:54.000 The friends I had were the same way.
00:45:56.000 None of them even bothered going to school.
00:45:58.000 They all went into construction.
00:45:59.000 Yeah.
00:46:00.000 Friends from high school.
00:46:01.000 Both my friends, Jimmy Dottilio and Jimmy Lawless.
00:46:04.000 One became an electrician and one became a carpenter.
00:46:08.000 Those were my good friends in high school outside of my fighting friends.
00:46:12.000 But it was that feeling that you got of just being an outcast, and that was a minor outcast.
00:46:17.000 I remember I was delivering newspapers for this lady, and she was asking me where I'm going to school.
00:46:24.000 And I said, well, you know, I'm trying to figure it out.
00:46:28.000 The feeling that she gave me of just like...
00:46:32.000 Yeah, follow the herd.
00:46:33.000 She just shucked me off. 1.00
00:46:36.000 She was friendly, and then all of a sudden she wasn't.
00:46:38.000 Just based on me saying that I didn't know what I was doing with myself.
00:46:44.000 Yeah, just talking about college.
00:46:48.000 That's definitely how it was back then.
00:46:51.000 Massachusetts is a different spot, too, because it's so goddamn cold in the winter.
00:46:55.000 You can't fuck about.
00:46:56.000 You gotta get going.
00:46:58.000 You can't be that guy who lays around all day.
00:47:00.000 You'll freeze to death.
00:47:01.000 You have to eat.
00:47:02.000 You have to survive.
00:47:03.000 You have to struggle.
00:47:04.000 It always cracked me up, though, the level of colleges that were there versus what me and my friends were like.
00:47:09.000 You know what I mean?
00:47:10.000 We were just the biggest idiots.
00:47:13.000 There was that whole weird thing with Boston where it's these meathead sports fans like me, and then there's Harvard and MIT and BU. You get all these smart people coming in from other...
00:47:28.000 It's like New York.
00:47:29.000 New York talks about all this great shit that they have, and it's just like, you have so many free agents.
00:47:34.000 I think?
00:47:41.000 Yeah.
00:47:54.000 Massachusetts.
00:47:55.000 And I would say what it was, because I don't know now.
00:47:57.000 Now I'm just fucking old.
00:47:58.000 So, just been, like, thinking a lot of...
00:48:01.000 I just think during this whole, like, pandemic, I've just had the time to finally have to, like...
00:48:06.000 You know, the second you decided you're going to be a comic, it's just like you just jumped in this river.
00:48:10.000 Yeah.
00:48:10.000 And it just takes you and...
00:48:12.000 All of a sudden this happens, and it's like you can't do stand-up for a long time, and after you're done cleaning up your house and doing shit like that, you kind of got to sit down and be like, alright, so what did I do over these last few years, and how the fuck did I end up out here in this place that's going to,
00:48:30.000 I guess, burn for months now?
00:48:34.000 It's burning again!
00:48:36.000 It's on fire again.
00:48:37.000 Yeah.
00:48:38.000 Well, you know, that happens out here, too, buddy.
00:48:40.000 Oh, yeah.
00:48:41.000 Not that much right here in Austin.
00:48:42.000 They had, like, a biblical-level drought out here for, like, two, three years.
00:48:45.000 Oh, I remember that.
00:48:46.000 Yeah.
00:48:47.000 Lake Travis shriveled up so bad, you could see, like, people's dock.
00:48:50.000 Like, oh, get a lakefront house.
00:48:52.000 They get a lakefront house.
00:48:53.000 Dead bookers and shit.
00:48:54.000 And then it was hundreds of yards of just...
00:48:58.000 Ground before the water started.
00:48:59.000 I know.
00:49:00.000 It's kind of funny how people think that they're, like, because of those imaginary lines of states, that that's not, like, this disease that's going to fucking work its way across.
00:49:10.000 I want to talk about that shit.
00:49:10.000 I don't know.
00:49:11.000 It's too dark.
00:49:11.000 That's why I'm watching old Burt Reynolds movies.
00:49:14.000 But you're right about this giving you a chance to think about things.
00:49:18.000 Because you can get caught up in the momentum of your life.
00:49:21.000 A lot of people do when they get corporate jobs, too.
00:49:23.000 They get these jobs, and I've talked to people, actually, that are sort of rethinking their own career, not show business people, because of this.
00:49:31.000 Because they've been working from home.
00:49:34.000 And then they've been thinking about what they're doing.
00:49:35.000 Like, this office life is super unhealthy.
00:49:37.000 And they're like, you know, I could have been working from home all along and I'm actually more productive this way.
00:49:41.000 And then they start thinking about, you know, I could be working for myself.
00:49:43.000 Like, why don't I start a consulting business or start this or start my own business?
00:49:49.000 There's a lot of people that are...
00:49:50.000 It is amazing how the whole deal is set up that you don't even have time to think.
00:49:55.000 Yeah.
00:49:56.000 Like, that's for your deathbed.
00:49:57.000 Mm-hmm.
00:49:58.000 Okay, let me just lay here as I'm fucking breathing my last breath to sort of assess what the hell this was.
00:50:05.000 Right, if you want to compete, if you want to compete in the marketplace, there's so many people out there that are just going guns blazing, pedal to the floor.
00:50:12.000 There's two deathbed stories that I heard, all right?
00:50:16.000 One of them was, should I tell the sad one or the cool one first?
00:50:21.000 It's up to you.
00:50:23.000 Okay, I'll tell the cool one first.
00:50:24.000 We'll end in a dark place.
00:50:27.000 So I remember hearing Lou Reed, when Lou Reed was on his deathbed, he was just sitting there relaxed, smiling with this look of wonderment, like enjoying your last experience.
00:50:40.000 I'm going to experience death.
00:50:42.000 And he was open to it and had a little smile on his face.
00:50:46.000 And it's just like, okay, that's...
00:50:49.000 How I would like to go out.
00:50:51.000 Not being like, oh fuck, oh fuck.
00:50:52.000 And then there was another one.
00:50:54.000 I almost don't even want to say the fucking name.
00:50:55.000 I'm not even gonna.
00:50:56.000 It was this famous guy and he was a child star.
00:50:59.000 And I don't think he ever got past that, you know, the ups and downs.
00:51:03.000 I was here and now I'm only here.
00:51:05.000 But he's still like doing these huge shows, but he's not as big as he was.
00:51:09.000 And his final words were, so much wasted time.
00:51:14.000 And if you look at his career, it wasn't.
00:51:15.000 He worked his ass off, but that's what scares the shit out of me.
00:51:19.000 I'm like, so much wasted time, dude.
00:51:20.000 You played fucking theaters for 40 years, selling out and made millions of dollars, and you came out the other side of that saying so much wasted time.
00:51:31.000 So that's kind of making me look at, like, you know...
00:51:36.000 There's this weird sort of thing with what we do.
00:51:38.000 Like, oh, it's exciting and stuff.
00:51:40.000 But, you know, you kind of also sit back like, all right, well, if I do that too much and something else suffers, or did I take the time?
00:51:49.000 Like, you know, I have a pool.
00:51:52.000 I'm never in it.
00:51:55.000 It's just expensive puddle.
00:51:57.000 Like, what am I doing with this fucking thing?
00:52:00.000 And someone comes over to maintain your puddle.
00:52:02.000 Dude, and that was the dream.
00:52:03.000 I remember, like, living in play, fucking New York, no air conditioners.
00:52:06.000 Like, someday, I'm gonna get a fucking house, and I'm gonna have a fucking pool, and on a goddamn day like this, I'm gonna fucking jump into that thing.
00:52:13.000 And, uh, yeah, and on hot days like that, I'm not.
00:52:16.000 I'm fucking sitting in my office, you know, working.
00:52:19.000 But there's something to be said about that, because that's what you're supposed to do as a dad and everything, but then, um...
00:52:24.000 You know, there's also that other thing.
00:52:25.000 It's like if you work too much, do you end up being that guy?
00:52:28.000 Lay in there.
00:52:29.000 You probably will.
00:52:31.000 Yeah.
00:52:31.000 Oh, thanks, Joe.
00:52:32.000 The thing about those guys...
00:52:33.000 Well, if you work too much, I'm saying.
00:52:35.000 I think those guys that...
00:52:36.000 So much wasted time, guys.
00:52:40.000 You know, they also...
00:52:41.000 It's very difficult when you're in a competitive business like show business to pay attention to just yourself and just enjoy your experience and be in the moment.
00:52:51.000 Everybody is looking at themselves...
00:52:54.000 Through the eyes of the success of other people.
00:52:57.000 I remember when I was on news radio, the staff, the crew, the cast, everybody else besides me had a background in show business.
00:53:10.000 All I had to do, I only had a background in stand-up.
00:53:12.000 I'd never taken acting classes other than a few private classes they made me take when they gave me a development deal.
00:53:17.000 So I didn't understand the culture of acting.
00:53:20.000 And I remember I was on the set, and they would read Variety.
00:53:24.000 Or they would read, you know, whatever those show, Hollywood Reporter.
00:53:27.000 And they would read about people getting deals.
00:53:29.000 And they would read about how well Friends was doing and how well this is doing.
00:53:32.000 And they'd get so fucking mad.
00:53:34.000 And I would go, why are you reading that?
00:53:37.000 Like, you're reading The Devil's Rag.
00:53:39.000 I go, you guys are upset.
00:53:40.000 I go, last time I checked, I'm on fucking TV. I'm a 27-year-old kid and I'm on TV. Maybe because that was such a well-written...
00:53:52.000 Yeah.
00:53:55.000 Yeah.
00:53:57.000 Yeah.
00:54:13.000 Pop star, you know, some young, you know, guy or girl's gonna come out, prime of their life, good looking, singing some, you know, bubblegum shit, is always gonna sell more than this other thing, and you just have to, you gotta be okay with that.
00:54:26.000 Yeah.
00:54:26.000 Because it's like, if you want to sell that, yeah, you gotta go do that bubblegum shit, and if you don't want to do that, don't fucking sit there and look at it.
00:54:33.000 And be upset.
00:54:35.000 Comparison is a thief of joy.
00:54:36.000 It's a famous quote, but it's an awesome one.
00:54:38.000 It really is.
00:54:39.000 I've lived that for a while.
00:54:40.000 Yeah, a lot of people do.
00:54:42.000 Especially show business.
00:54:44.000 Show business, that's a common thing amongst comics.
00:54:47.000 You would see it, this gleam of jealousy.
00:54:50.000 But I think also there's good aspects of jealousy and that you can feel bad that you're not getting something that other people are getting and then it makes you work harder.
00:55:00.000 But then once you've achieved like a...
00:55:03.000 A level of success where it's measurable, where you're like, hey, look, you're paying your bills, you're doing shows, and people are coming to see you.
00:55:11.000 You're doing great.
00:55:12.000 Just concentrate on the work.
00:55:14.000 Then concentrate on the work.
00:55:15.000 Concentrate on being at your best.
00:55:17.000 Don't concentrate on how well this guy is doing and how well that...
00:55:21.000 I remember when Dane Cook was killing it.
00:55:23.000 There were so many haters.
00:55:25.000 And not just because of all the real reasons to be a hater, but also just because of his success was so astronomical.
00:55:32.000 I remember people would just fume thinking about Dane Cook selling out arenas.
00:55:37.000 It would drive them crazy.
00:55:39.000 And I remember thinking, like, just concentrate on getting better.
00:55:42.000 Like, concentrate on your act.
00:55:43.000 When I kind of focused on just beyond that, I focused on doing what I thought that I wanted to do.
00:55:51.000 Like, I don't give a shit.
00:55:53.000 Like, I'm gonna make this thing.
00:55:54.000 And I don't give a fuck if five people see this.
00:55:57.000 I want to do this.
00:55:58.000 And then all of a sudden, it just changed my perspective on the whole thing, where it's just like, oh, you know, this is just like a...
00:56:03.000 Like, you don't have to try to do everything.
00:56:06.000 And if this is, like, really hitting, you don't have to go do that.
00:56:06.000 Yeah.
00:56:09.000 It's like, well, I kind of want to go over here and just do this thing.
00:56:12.000 And...
00:56:13.000 I was talking to you about stand-up earlier, and over the summer I was lucky enough that Dave Chappelle invited me to come out and do a couple shows out in his place out there in Ohio, and going out there and getting in front of a crowd where there was no cell phones,
00:56:31.000 and I knew that this was just going to be for them, and I didn't have to worry about all this shit.
00:56:37.000 It suddenly reminded me of how fun stand-up used to be.
00:56:41.000 Before all the joke police came out to complain about shit that happened at a show that they weren't at.
00:56:48.000 And it was sort of this thunderclap moment.
00:56:51.000 It was just like, I've been doing stand-up wrong for like five years.
00:56:55.000 It's not that I didn't say what I wanted to say.
00:56:58.000 I was looking over my shoulder as I was doing it.
00:57:01.000 Literally telling jokes going like, is this going to be the one?
00:57:06.000 Right?
00:57:07.000 And then just doing his gig for three days, I was like...
00:57:07.000 Yeah.
00:57:11.000 It took me back to being at the Boston Comedy Club in New York.
00:57:15.000 Back when, you know, I would watch a young Dave Chappelle and all of the guys down there.
00:57:21.000 And I was just...
00:57:22.000 And ever since then, in August, it was like, oh, yeah!
00:57:26.000 Like, this isn't theirs.
00:57:28.000 This is mine.
00:57:29.000 And theirs meaning these fucking assholes who are sitting there like I'm on Shark Tank, and I'm trying to sell them something or whatever, and it's just like, no, this is just, I'm just up here.
00:57:40.000 I'm not doing anything.
00:57:41.000 I'm just up here fucking around, saying crazy shit that I think's funny, trying to make you laugh, but, like, this, like, my act is mine.
00:57:49.000 You know what I mean?
00:57:49.000 This is my shit to say.
00:57:51.000 If you like it, you like it.
00:57:52.000 If you don't, there's a hundred thousand comedians.
00:57:55.000 Go find the fucking one that you like. 0.99
00:57:56.000 But you also have to accept the fact that if you're going to do something that people don't like, there's going to be a certain amount of people that because of social media, first of all, people are addicted to posting.
00:58:08.000 They love it.
00:58:09.000 They love posting things.
00:58:10.000 They do it all day long.
00:58:11.000 They get a juice out of it.
00:58:12.000 And then on top of that, if they could post about something that's...
00:58:16.000 That rings true with outrage, especially if they can take you out of context, and it rings with outrage, then people will click on that.
00:58:23.000 It'll get a lot of likes.
00:58:24.000 So it's inevitable that if you talk about controversial subjects like you do...
00:58:28.000 I understand it, but my thing is to not just completely let go of that.
00:58:32.000 Like, oh, is that what you're doing?
00:58:34.000 Is that how you took it?
00:58:35.000 Great.
00:58:36.000 I'm going on to my next show, and I'm going to continue doing that bit, and I'm going to expand on it, because that's what I want to do, because it makes me happy, and this is what I think is funny.
00:58:46.000 And if you don't think it's funny, I respect it.
00:58:48.000 But ever since that Chappelle Show gig, I've just been like, oh yeah, this used to be fucking like...
00:58:55.000 Well, that's great.
00:58:56.000 Like this awesome thing.
00:58:58.000 Wild thing that nobody...
00:59:00.000 Other than the people in the room.
00:59:02.000 You gotta worry about people leaving the room and getting mad at you.
00:59:05.000 Like, that's not funny.
00:59:06.000 Like, people would get upset.
00:59:07.000 But there's always gonna be one or two.
00:59:10.000 If you have 450 people in a room...
00:59:12.000 There's going to be one or two that get pissed off.
00:59:14.000 Now they drive away.
00:59:15.000 It's fucking hilarious.
00:59:16.000 Back their car up and they just...
00:59:17.000 They have drive-in shows.
00:59:19.000 Yeah, they're drive-in shows.
00:59:20.000 I've had a few of those.
00:59:21.000 Bert is the pioneer of that.
00:59:23.000 Bert is the guy.
00:59:24.000 He doesn't get enough credit for that.
00:59:25.000 Bert Kreischer, he invented these fucking drive-in shows.
00:59:29.000 He loves doing stand-up and he was trying to figure out a way to keep doing stand-up during the pandemic and he came up with the idea of drive-in shows.
00:59:35.000 He was the first guy to do it.
00:59:36.000 I don't know if one of his agents or managers or someone...
00:59:39.000 He kept trying to talk me into doing them and I was just like, I don't know, man.
00:59:39.000 No, no.
00:59:44.000 I got too much scar tissue from doing jokes in front of crowds.
00:59:48.000 This took me back to doing...
00:59:50.000 I was looking at them like, that reminds me of doing nooners at colleges, but I didn't understand that it's a different dynamic.
00:59:58.000 Where back when you would do a nooner at a fucking cafeteria at college, those people didn't want a show. 0.97
01:00:03.000 They wanted to eat and talk to their friends, and all of a sudden you're up there, hey, what's up with stuff?
01:00:08.000 You know?
01:00:09.000 Fuck, I'm trying to study or hit on this chick or whatever. 1.00
01:00:09.000 They go... 1.00
01:00:13.000 But those shows, as much as they look like hell gigs, they're like the greatest crowd ever because they're so into comedy that they're willing to sit in their car and listen to it.
01:00:23.000 And it's the weirdest thing ever.
01:00:27.000 A year ago, this is the worst fucking setup ever for comedy, but it's the greatest crowd ever, and it ends up being this great show.
01:00:36.000 Do they do it through the radio?
01:00:37.000 Is that what they're doing?
01:00:38.000 I haven't done the drive-in ones.
01:00:39.000 I've done parking lots.
01:00:41.000 I did a patch of grass behind a motel, which was an incredible show.
01:00:46.000 Where was that?
01:00:47.000 I felt...
01:00:47.000 I don't know.
01:00:48.000 It was somewhere in Connecticut.
01:00:50.000 And this woman... 1.00
01:00:51.000 They kind of had this white noise thing.
01:00:53.000 And the thing was broken.
01:00:55.000 And I was in the middle of doing my set.
01:00:57.000 And people were sitting on the grass.
01:00:59.000 And there was no stage.
01:01:01.000 So I felt like we were all going to take out tambourines.
01:01:03.000 I felt like some hippie thing.
01:01:04.000 And I was standing behind this motel doing this shit.
01:01:07.000 It was like, you know, maybe like 35, 40 people there.
01:01:10.000 And this lady comes walking over with her dog. 1.00
01:01:13.000 And she starts talking to the guy running it.
01:01:16.000 And then she just sort of walked.
01:01:17.000 It was so not a show that she wasn't even self-conscious.
01:01:21.000 And she just walked up, she said, you know, you're talking way too loud and just like...
01:01:25.000 To you?
01:01:26.000 Yeah, like I was her neighbor.
01:01:27.000 It was fucking hilarious.
01:01:28.000 And then I was trying to be like, alright, sorry, I'll try to keep it down.
01:01:33.000 And I felt bad, you know, I don't know.
01:01:35.000 And then she walked away. 0.99
01:01:38.000 I know.
01:01:38.000 She started wagging her finger at me, and then that, of course, got me going.
01:01:41.000 Like, don't fucking wag your finger at me.
01:01:42.000 I've been polite, okay?
01:01:44.000 And then she walked away. 0.99
01:01:45.000 Did they have permits?
01:01:46.000 Yeah, but then I watched her walk, and I started making fun of her house. 0.74
01:01:50.000 I was doing this whole bit on split entries that I can't remember.
01:01:55.000 They had a new roof with old shutters.
01:01:57.000 And I was saying that's like buying a new suit with old shoes.
01:01:59.000 You ruined the whole thing.
01:02:00.000 I was just trashing it.
01:02:02.000 Because I thought it was her house and I found out she lived across the street.
01:02:05.000 And then the person who owned the house was actually on the porch listening, enjoying the show.
01:02:10.000 And I was shitting all over his house and I felt...
01:02:13.000 I ended up feeling really bad about it.
01:02:16.000 Because what's funny is with all of this shit is I don't do this shit to make you feel bad.
01:02:22.000 I'm trying to make you feel good.
01:02:23.000 That's the funny thing about it.
01:02:25.000 So like...
01:02:26.000 When people take it a certain way, I'm not this heartless person that just goes like...
01:02:30.000 You know, I remember way back in the day, I did a bit and I made this woman cry. 0.95
01:02:37.000 And I felt fucking horrible.
01:02:38.000 I just didn't have the emotional ability to handle it.
01:02:43.000 Because she was right.
01:02:45.000 I mean, that's like...
01:02:46.000 I wasn't doing it about...
01:02:48.000 But it touched too much on her life and where she was.
01:02:51.000 It happened to me twice.
01:02:52.000 I remember this woman came up to me and she's like, plane crashes aren't funny.
01:02:56.000 And left and I was like, oh my god.
01:02:58.000 Yeah, and I wish that I was mature enough to be like, I am so sorry.
01:03:04.000 You know?
01:03:06.000 You know, but...
01:03:08.000 Not like I shouldn't have done the bit, but it's just like I should have had like empathy there.
01:03:12.000 I didn't know what to do.
01:03:13.000 And of course, back then, you know, all my comic friends, we were all like, you know, in our 20s, you know, broken toys at that point, crawling out of whatever the fuck happened that made you a comedian.
01:03:23.000 So asking them for advice was not the right thing to do.
01:03:27.000 I would have been like, fuck you, bitch. 1.00
01:03:29.000 And even then, I was just like, really?
01:03:31.000 That's what you would have said?
01:03:32.000 Because there was that thing back then where it's just, I'm going to hurt you before you hurt me, that type of shit.
01:03:38.000 Also, you had to be hardcore.
01:03:40.000 Yeah, I remember there was a big thing.
01:03:42.000 When we were coming up, there was this badge of honor that you walked a room.
01:03:46.000 Yes!
01:03:47.000 One of my favorite shows I ever saw, Bill Hicks walked a room.
01:03:51.000 One of my favorite shows I ever saw.
01:03:53.000 It was Bill Hicks went on after this guy, who was a nice guy, but he was a hack.
01:03:58.000 And the hack was doing...
01:03:59.000 I mean, he was doing the whole thing.
01:04:00.000 Just dunking donuts, cops jokes, cartoon character smoking pot.
01:04:07.000 You know, like it was the...
01:04:08.000 Classic rock.
01:04:09.000 It was...
01:04:10.000 Classic rock is good music.
01:04:12.000 But you know what I mean, though?
01:04:13.000 They became a formula after a while.
01:04:15.000 Yeah.
01:04:16.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:04:17.000 Sing about a car, sing about a woman. 1.00
01:04:19.000 Yeah, play Free Bird.
01:04:20.000 But this guy was doing this whack comedy set and it got a good amount of laughs.
01:04:28.000 People liked it.
01:04:29.000 And then Hicks went up.
01:04:30.000 And he went up and immediately philosophical and brooding and pacing the stage and...
01:04:38.000 They fucking hated him.
01:04:39.000 And as they hated him, Fitzsimmons and I were in the back of the room.
01:04:44.000 I'll never forget this.
01:04:45.000 Fitzsimmons and I, to this day, talk about this.
01:04:47.000 We were laughing when people were getting up and leaving because we were 21, right?
01:04:51.000 We were straight open micers.
01:04:53.000 And we were sitting there watching.
01:04:53.000 Oh, wow.
01:04:54.000 This was when Hicks was...
01:04:56.000 Just started to come off of HBO. So it was around 88, 89-ish.
01:05:02.000 And he is doing these bits.
01:05:06.000 And as he's doing these bits, we're laughing harder and more people are leaving.
01:05:10.000 So there's like...
01:05:11.000 Maybe 10 of us in the back, comics and people that work at the club at Nick's Comedy Stop.
01:05:16.000 And then people are just getting up in droves and walking out.
01:05:19.000 At the end of the night, there's fucking 30 people.
01:05:22.000 What's Nick's when it was packed?
01:05:23.000 300?
01:05:24.000 Like 400. 400?
01:05:25.000 If they got them all the way behind that bar.
01:05:27.000 Way in the back, yeah.
01:05:27.000 Yeah.
01:05:28.000 So out of all those people, there was maybe 30 or 40 people left.
01:05:28.000 Yeah.
01:05:32.000 And the 10 comics in the back howling, laughing.
01:05:35.000 And to this day, it's one of my favorite sets ever because...
01:05:39.000 Guys bomb, and you feel them bombing.
01:05:42.000 Like, you feel it.
01:05:43.000 Like, you feel for them, and it hurts.
01:05:45.000 Like, I can't watch open mic nights when people bomb, because I think, oh my god, nothing can be funny.
01:05:51.000 Like, the worst thing for me, personally...
01:05:52.000 I know, and they don't know how to get out of it.
01:05:54.000 It just takes you back to when you were doing that, going like, ugh.
01:05:57.000 I just remember those car rides home by yourself.
01:06:01.000 Trying to shout your set out of your head.
01:06:05.000 I hate myself.
01:06:07.000 That was the worst!
01:06:08.000 But open mics, like, the worst was when I would go on the road and say I'd do a gig in Florida and they'd have a local opener and I'd watch like two minutes of the guys set up like, oh my god, this is impossible.
01:06:21.000 There's nothing, nothing is funny.
01:06:22.000 It's impossible to be funny.
01:06:24.000 Like, some of the opening acts...
01:06:26.000 Like in fucking Tampa or somewhere.
01:06:28.000 They were so bad.
01:06:29.000 You couldn't imagine anything could be funny.
01:06:32.000 Like it was a race.
01:06:33.000 I had to close my head.
01:06:35.000 I had to leave the room.
01:06:36.000 I had to shut the door, the green room, and hope I didn't miss my intro because it was so bad.
01:06:41.000 And then you would go on stage and you'd have this look in the people's eyes just beaten down by life because they listened to 20 minutes of utter horseshit.
01:06:49.000 That wasn't the case with Hicks.
01:06:51.000 With Hicks, it was like he was doing this stuff that was just not on the same vibe as the guy before.
01:06:58.000 The guy before was on this dumb, like real obvious, straight down the middle.
01:07:04.000 Yeah, he's doing the pop shit.
01:07:06.000 Real poppy vibe.
01:07:07.000 It wasn't good either, but it was getting some laughs.
01:07:11.000 Hey, yeah, it's a good one.
01:07:13.000 Like that kind of stupid shit.
01:07:14.000 And then no one knew who Hicks was, but he never lost confidence.
01:07:18.000 It was amazing.
01:07:19.000 It was amazing.
01:07:21.000 Yeah, you're on a mission.
01:07:23.000 Yeah.
01:07:24.000 He was doing this long bit about taking a shit.
01:07:26.000 He was doing this long bit about the devil has sex with...
01:07:31.000 I think it was the devil has sex with John Davidson from That's Incredible.
01:07:37.000 And shits out someone else.
01:07:41.000 And this is a long bit about shitting out this other demon.
01:07:45.000 And he's like squatting on the toilet like...
01:07:49.000 Oh yeah, he was talking about, I think that was the thing, talking about what they give you to watch on television.
01:07:55.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:07:56.000 But that it was Satan.
01:07:58.000 The Satan was programming the whole thing.
01:07:59.000 So he's doing this bit where it's like, I'm telling you, he's making shit sounds for like two minutes.
01:08:04.000 Just squatting and making these shit sounds.
01:08:07.000 It's a long shit sound.
01:08:09.000 In front of people that probably like John Davidson.
01:08:10.000 They're getting up and leaving in droves.
01:08:12.000 And he looks up.
01:08:13.000 I'll never forget this.
01:08:14.000 I mean, not covering his ass, not making excuses, not pretending he doesn't give a fuck.
01:08:22.000 Genuinely, didn't give a fuck.
01:08:23.000 He looks up and goes, yep, this generally clears the room.
01:08:28.000 Just watching people just get up in sets.
01:08:31.000 And he's like...
01:08:35.000 Just squatting!
01:08:37.000 And Fitzsimmons and I crying laughing.
01:08:40.000 He never lost confidence.
01:08:42.000 It was crazy.
01:08:43.000 I was like, how is this guy so confident?
01:08:45.000 How is he so relaxed?
01:08:47.000 And never adjusted his material to the crowd.
01:08:51.000 Like, his material was that what we're doing with our culture, with our lives, is empty and vapid and meaningless, and that we're ruining God's creation.
01:09:04.000 We're ruining Earth.
01:09:06.000 And people are like, I don't want to hear this.
01:09:07.000 I gotta go to work tomorrow.
01:09:08.000 I'm a fucking longshoreman.
01:09:09.000 And they get up and...
01:09:11.000 But never lost.
01:09:13.000 You know, they're right.
01:09:14.000 Some people are just like, well, you know, I don't look at the world that way.
01:09:16.000 I don't want to listen to this.
01:09:18.000 I'm leaving.
01:09:18.000 All right, see you later.
01:09:19.000 And then he keeps doing what he's doing.
01:09:21.000 Well, they didn't know who he was.
01:09:22.000 This is made out of like a symbol?
01:09:22.000 What is this thing here?
01:09:24.000 This thing?
01:09:25.000 Oh, this.
01:09:25.000 Yeah, right here.
01:09:26.000 Yeah, this is a chimp skull that is actually made out of a thimble. 0.94
01:09:33.000 Yeah, check that out.
01:09:34.000 A symbol, not a thimble.
01:09:35.000 Thimble, thimble.
01:09:36.000 Sorry.
01:09:37.000 Oh, symbol.
01:09:38.000 What is it?
01:09:38.000 Symbol.
01:09:39.000 Thimble's like if you're sewing.
01:09:40.000 Thimble's for your thumb, right?
01:09:41.000 Yeah.
01:09:42.000 Symbol.
01:09:43.000 Yeah.
01:09:43.000 Symbol.
01:09:44.000 That's right there.
01:09:45.000 That's the clip that goes viral.
01:09:46.000 Thimble, symbol.
01:09:47.000 Yeah.
01:09:47.000 Symbol, thimble.
01:09:49.000 This is...
01:09:50.000 Deep Talk with Bill Burr.
01:09:52.000 That's pretty dope, right?
01:09:54.000 And that's amazing.
01:09:56.000 That's Shane Against the Machine.
01:09:57.000 It's a man who is an amazingly skilled artist.
01:10:03.000 He's made me a couple things.
01:10:04.000 He made me this.
01:10:05.000 Remember the World War II helmet that was a lamp in the old studio?
01:10:10.000 He made that, too.
01:10:11.000 He made helmets.
01:10:12.000 I just remember the wolf.
01:10:13.000 The wolf, too.
01:10:14.000 That's Patrick McGee.
01:10:14.000 Yeah.
01:10:15.000 That's a special effects guy that made the werewolf.
01:10:19.000 But this guy has made me a couple different skulls.
01:10:22.000 One of them I have in my office.
01:10:23.000 And then just sent this one out of the blue.
01:10:25.000 It says higherprimate on the bottom of it.
01:10:27.000 It's got my higherprimate.com logo on it.
01:10:30.000 That thing lived a good life.
01:10:30.000 A relaxed life.
01:10:32.000 You can tell.
01:10:34.000 The chimp?
01:10:34.000 Yeah.
01:10:35.000 How can you tell?
01:10:35.000 Because its canines aren't filed down.
01:10:38.000 It wasn't grinding its teeth when it was sleeping.
01:10:43.000 Grinding its teeth when it was sleeping.
01:10:45.000 Yeah, that's what I did as a kid.
01:10:46.000 Did you have to have a mouthpiece?
01:10:49.000 No, you have some one time they gave me a mouthpiece.
01:10:52.000 They realized, they didn't realize that it was happening when I was a kid.
01:10:54.000 It didn't happen when I was an adult.
01:10:56.000 It was done.
01:10:57.000 So then I got it and it just ended up, they didn't do it right, so it changed my bite.
01:11:00.000 My jaw started popping out.
01:11:03.000 So I just stopped wearing it.
01:11:04.000 Then I just sort of, I just popped it back in and I was fine.
01:11:07.000 I had all these micro-fractures on all these teeth, particularly on my back teeth.
01:11:13.000 And my dentist was like, what the fuck are you doing?
01:11:16.000 Why do you have all these fractures on your teeth?
01:11:18.000 I realized it was from lifting weights, just biting down and lifting things.
01:11:24.000 It wasn't getting punched when you were fighting?
01:11:25.000 No, I wore a mouthpiece most of the time.
01:11:29.000 Oh.
01:11:29.000 Almost all the time.
01:11:30.000 That's what I would assume.
01:11:31.000 No.
01:11:31.000 You were taekwondo getting kicked in the fucking head, dude?
01:11:34.000 I think that your mouth...
01:11:34.000 Yeah.
01:11:35.000 There was some of that, I'm sure.
01:11:36.000 That doesn't help.
01:11:37.000 I think a lot of it was from just training with just biting down.
01:11:41.000 Just always biting down.
01:11:43.000 You weren't a more reps guy, were you?
01:11:45.000 You were a more weight guy?
01:11:47.000 It depends on what I was trying to do, but more weight than more reps.
01:11:53.000 I'm at the age now where it's more reps than weight.
01:11:56.000 Well, reps are good.
01:11:58.000 It's good.
01:11:58.000 You know what else is good?
01:12:00.000 Slow.
01:12:01.000 Doing things slowly.
01:12:02.000 Super slow sets.
01:12:04.000 There's a lot of benefit in doing things real slow.
01:12:07.000 I do the one, two, one, two, three, four.
01:12:10.000 Yeah, you can make a lightweight heavy if you just work out slow.
01:12:14.000 Yeah.
01:12:15.000 I do some boxing workouts with these five-pound center mass bells.
01:12:21.000 A center mass bell is like a circle with a handle inside the circle.
01:12:26.000 Oh, you know, I was just at a gym that had those.
01:12:28.000 I was looking at, like, what is that?
01:12:30.000 They're great.
01:12:31.000 A radio antenna?
01:12:33.000 I didn't know what it was.
01:12:34.000 Sorenix creates these.
01:12:35.000 And I put my hands inside of these things, and I'll do this boxing workout where I'm doing it.
01:12:41.000 There it is.
01:12:41.000 That's a big, heavy one.
01:12:43.000 I don't use them for that kind of shit.
01:12:45.000 They were smaller than that.
01:12:45.000 Oh, no, that's not what it was.
01:12:47.000 Yeah, the ones I use are smaller.
01:12:48.000 The ones I use for boxing workouts are five pounds, but they fucking blow your shoulders out, and I'm doing it with...
01:12:55.000 Wait, they don't hurt you, right?
01:12:58.000 No, no, no, not in a bad way.
01:12:59.000 Dude, look at that ab workout that chick is doing. 1.00
01:13:03.000 They didn't have that shit when I was a kid.
01:13:04.000 Well, maybe they did.
01:13:05.000 I think Stallone did that in a movie.
01:13:07.000 Just like, what are you doing?
01:13:09.000 That is fucking insane.
01:13:11.000 Only gymnasts could do that back in the day. 0.94
01:13:15.000 This was working out when I was a kid.
01:13:17.000 Benching all the time.
01:13:19.000 What can you bench?
01:13:20.000 You did that.
01:13:21.000 Then you did some curls.
01:13:22.000 Then you did the nosebreaker.
01:13:25.000 Curl things.
01:13:26.000 There was nothing for your back.
01:13:28.000 That pull-down machine.
01:13:29.000 Yeah, that was that.
01:13:30.000 Dude, the guy does the whole stack.
01:13:32.000 Remember that?
01:13:33.000 There was always that guy letting it go.
01:13:35.000 Cash!
01:13:37.000 Slamming down.
01:13:38.000 And then nobody did their fucking legs. 1.00
01:13:39.000 No, there was no leg workout.
01:13:41.000 And core, really...
01:13:43.000 Guys would do like...
01:13:44.000 You do like 10 sit-ups.
01:13:46.000 That was it.
01:13:47.000 It was just all about benching.
01:13:49.000 Yeah, people didn't give a fuck about six-packs back then for some strange reason.
01:13:52.000 I don't think we knew.
01:13:53.000 There was no...
01:13:54.000 And there was no...
01:13:55.000 There wasn't enough...
01:13:58.000 I just remember there was roids in that powder.
01:14:01.000 Creatine?
01:14:02.000 Yeah.
01:14:03.000 These guys would just be drinking these shakes.
01:14:06.000 Dude, guys...
01:14:07.000 Every gym had like four or five fucking gorillas. 0.99
01:14:11.000 They looked like the Hulk.
01:14:12.000 They were fucking gigantic.
01:14:14.000 And they would get in there and just intimidate the whole gym. 0.70
01:14:17.000 They'd just be grabbing that thing, making these fucking noises. 1.00
01:14:21.000 And then they would let go each...
01:14:22.000 And then you'd be like, are you almost done with that?
01:14:25.000 And you're like...
01:14:26.000 Like, no matter what you did.
01:14:31.000 I miss that, though, man.
01:14:32.000 I used to love Gold Gym and all those things, World Gym, all of those things that they had back in the day.
01:14:37.000 Those places are all going to go under now.
01:14:39.000 A lot of them are going under.
01:14:40.000 Out here, you can still go to the gym.
01:14:43.000 They just have limited capacity.
01:14:44.000 They do a temperature check when you go in there.
01:14:46.000 You wear a mask, and you go to the gym.
01:14:47.000 You have to stay away from everybody.
01:14:48.000 I don't know what the story is in L.A. It's all shut down.
01:14:51.000 They don't have anything open.
01:14:52.000 Well, there's a few.
01:14:53.000 Yeah, well, that's what they think.
01:14:54.000 That's part of the joke I heard is that everything is shut down but 50% at gyms still.
01:14:58.000 Or maybe outside gyms.
01:15:00.000 Where?
01:15:00.000 L.A.? Yeah, it was like you have to stay home but you can still go to the gym.
01:15:02.000 Yeah, it would have to be outside.
01:15:05.000 Yeah, because that's what Bradley Martin is having a problem with.
01:15:07.000 Because Bradley Martin has a private gym.
01:15:11.000 It's not even open to the public and they were still shutting his power off and turning his electrical off.
01:15:16.000 Ridiculous.
01:15:17.000 What's funny about that is I understand getting mad at the government, but you also have to get mad at all these fucking assholes who are just doing whatever the fuck they want to do.
01:15:17.000 I know that.
01:15:25.000 There's also that.
01:15:26.000 These people having parties and shit, you know?
01:15:29.000 Yep.
01:15:29.000 So it's just like everybody keeps getting mad at the governor out there.
01:15:33.000 Or whatever the fuck, which I get because a lot of them said, hey, you know, quarantine and do all this shit.
01:15:40.000 Then they catch them at a party or going to a fucking restaurant after they said not to do it, which I understand that.
01:15:44.000 But like, I was like, where's the other 50% where we hold ourselves accountable?
01:15:48.000 Because everybody thinks they're a fucking doctor now.
01:15:51.000 My COVID doctor?
01:15:52.000 Drives me up the wall.
01:15:53.000 My doctor, shout out to Dr. Malkin.
01:15:55.000 Dr. Vinny Boombat.
01:15:56.000 Hey, Dr. Abe.
01:15:58.000 Abe Malkin.
01:15:58.000 He's a good man.
01:16:00.000 He's the guy who did all our COVID tests in LA and he arranges them all out here in Texas as well.
01:16:04.000 He was doing COVID tests for all these people that went to one of those influencer parties in Hollywood.
01:16:10.000 He said there was like a hundred people that tested positive.
01:16:13.000 They went to some party, fucking pack party, thousands of people all mulling around and then all of a sudden they just started falling into his office a few days later.
01:16:22.000 All of them are sick.
01:16:23.000 Yeah, and that's the thing that like...
01:16:26.000 I want to hear small business people also bitch about them. 1.00
01:16:29.000 Just hold them accountable, too.
01:16:30.000 Because it's just like, the government's fucking this thing up.
01:16:34.000 Nobody's working together.
01:16:36.000 Everybody has a fucking theory.
01:16:40.000 You're playing a game, and half the team is running one play, and the other half is running the other play.
01:16:45.000 It's like you're not going to win.
01:16:46.000 Well, there was no coordination beforehand.
01:16:48.000 Nobody knew what the fuck was going on before this happened.
01:16:51.000 Before January, no one had any idea that we would be dealing with something like this.
01:16:56.000 So they have to sort of make it up as they go along.
01:16:58.000 And then in the future, I think if another pandemic comes around, we're going to be much better prepared for it.
01:17:04.000 We'll be able to lock down quicker and...
01:17:06.000 The thing about the virus and the vaccine is that if this vaccine is effective and if you really can get it to people and give their immune system, we should be able to ramp things back up to fairly normal levels fairly quickly.
01:17:22.000 Yeah, I feel good about it, but I've given up on the whole that people are going to come together during this.
01:17:31.000 It's just like, if you talk to 20 people, 20 people have 20 different opinions and 20 different game plans.
01:17:39.000 It's like the fucking, it's the Wild West.
01:17:42.000 But I have to say, for our first pandemic in a long time, I think we did pretty good.
01:17:48.000 We did worse than any other country.
01:17:50.000 We're the worst.
01:17:52.000 We're the worst.
01:17:53.000 But we could have been way worse.
01:17:55.000 I guess.
01:17:56.000 It could always be worse.
01:17:57.000 I think what they needed to fucking concentrate on that they have is health.
01:18:00.000 There's no talk of health, and that's the thing that drives me the most crazy.
01:18:04.000 They're not giving people tips on how to improve your health and your immune system.
01:18:08.000 I know.
01:18:09.000 It's...
01:18:11.000 It's an important part of why people recover faster and why people don't.
01:18:15.000 Yeah, and there's a lot of information out there.
01:18:17.000 Yeah, there is a lot of information out there.
01:18:19.000 It doesn't...
01:18:20.000 Yeah, it's like, how do you figure out if it's actually...
01:18:24.000 Are you going to jump on the vaccine right away?
01:18:24.000 Right.
01:18:26.000 Or are you going to wait a little bit?
01:18:28.000 Well, I figure Great Britain's doing it.
01:18:30.000 That was a funny bit.
01:18:31.000 Yeah.
01:18:32.000 I don't want to say nothing about that bit.
01:18:33.000 That's a genius bit.
01:18:34.000 I really enjoyed that last night.
01:18:36.000 Oh, thank you.
01:18:37.000 Yeah.
01:18:37.000 You had some funny fucking shit.
01:18:39.000 I don't even want to talk about the subjects that you talked about because I don't want to shock anybody.
01:18:42.000 I've been having so much fucking fun.
01:18:44.000 You looked like you were having a good time.
01:18:45.000 Yeah, just acting like a fucking idiot.
01:18:47.000 Yeah, I told you, that Chappelle thing.
01:18:48.000 It's like, that's right, I'm an idiot.
01:18:50.000 I don't have to be right.
01:18:51.000 Yeah.
01:18:52.000 I just have to be funny.
01:18:54.000 That's all people want to see.
01:18:54.000 That's it.
01:18:55.000 Yeah.
01:18:56.000 Especially today.
01:18:58.000 You know, there's so many people that just want an escape.
01:19:00.000 They just want some wild shit.
01:19:02.000 And that's what I felt like last night.
01:19:02.000 They just want to have a good time.
01:19:05.000 And to go and see you and fuck, it was probably like 40 degrees outside last night.
01:19:09.000 It was cold as shit.
01:19:10.000 Oh, that was one of the warmer days on this one.
01:19:12.000 I didn't realize Texas gets this cold.
01:19:14.000 It gets cold out of here, buddy.
01:19:15.000 I want to go down to Mexico or something.
01:19:17.000 Yeah, I was fully zipped up and fucking wearing a hat and shit and shivering.
01:19:21.000 We had a couple shows in Dallas where, like, I couldn't feel my toes.
01:19:25.000 And then my hand, my fingers were getting all red.
01:19:27.000 It was just like...
01:19:28.000 I felt like I was tailgating, but I was like...
01:19:31.000 Maybe, like, it felt like a Pats game in, like, October.
01:19:34.000 Yes!
01:19:35.000 It's just kind of comment on the weather now.
01:19:38.000 Well, how about poor Burt?
01:19:38.000 Burt's still doing these fucking shows shirtless.
01:19:41.000 Oh, dude, he's an animal.
01:19:43.000 He goes outside.
01:19:44.000 It's 30 degrees outside.
01:19:45.000 He does his head shirtless.
01:19:48.000 Bert, remember when you...
01:19:49.000 Well, you weren't a sports guy, but they used to show those guys that would go to Chicago Bears games and not have four guys or five guys spell out bears, right?
01:19:58.000 And Bert, he's cut from that cloth.
01:20:01.000 That guy is a...
01:20:03.000 He's the machine.
01:20:04.000 He's the machine.
01:20:05.000 And I feel like guys like him are really what this time needs.
01:20:10.000 It's just somebody...
01:20:12.000 Bert is one of the most fun guys ever.
01:20:15.000 I'm trying to think.
01:20:16.000 He's like anybody.
01:20:17.000 Anybody has their little down moments.
01:20:19.000 But just generally speaking, hanging out with Bert is always fun.
01:20:24.000 He is like, whatever Debbie Downer is, he is the exact...
01:20:28.000 He's the vaccine for fucking Debbie Downer.
01:20:32.000 Super optimist.
01:20:34.000 Yeah, and I think he has...
01:20:36.000 I love that guy, man.
01:20:37.000 He has that thing that certain comics have where he's actually concerned about other people having a good time.
01:20:45.000 He wants to make sure everybody's having a good time.
01:20:48.000 And if you're not having a good time, I feel like it affects him.
01:20:52.000 Intellectually do something to make you laugh or something.
01:20:55.000 He's a really good-hearted dude.
01:20:56.000 He's a great person.
01:20:57.000 He really is.
01:20:58.000 He's a fun guy, too.
01:20:59.000 Those Sober October things that we had done, those were some of the most fun things that I would look forward to all year.
01:21:06.000 We did three of those in a row, three years in a row of these Sober October challenges.
01:21:10.000 Hey, I've got to ask you about weed.
01:21:12.000 Okay?
01:21:12.000 Okay.
01:21:13.000 Because I haven't drank in just a little over two years now, right?
01:21:18.000 I just quit.
01:21:19.000 So now, so with this weed shit going, becoming legal, and I'm just hearing people talking about it, being like, well, this is the shit, man.
01:21:29.000 If you want to, like, clean your house, be high, but you still want to clean your house, or this shit here, if you just want to get fucked up, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and all this stuff. 0.87
01:21:36.000 Like, my question is, what are they putting in weed?
01:21:39.000 Because weed, you should just be weed.
01:21:41.000 I wasn't a marijuana guy, but weed was kind of weed.
01:21:44.000 Wasn't it?
01:21:45.000 And now there's all these different strains.
01:21:46.000 So are they putting a bunch of...
01:21:48.000 Is this becoming like cereal?
01:21:50.000 No.
01:21:51.000 Where it's like a bunch of chemicals?
01:21:52.000 Is it still healthy?
01:21:53.000 No, it's just botanists.
01:21:55.000 The botanists have worked on stronger strains.
01:21:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:21:57.000 Really?
01:21:58.000 Yeah, it's mostly just plant scientists.
01:22:00.000 It's exciting.
01:22:01.000 Yeah, it's exciting.
01:22:02.000 So it just passed at a federal level in Congress.
01:22:04.000 Now it has to go to federal?
01:22:06.000 Well, it has to go to the House.
01:22:07.000 The Senate?
01:22:08.000 Yeah.
01:22:08.000 How does the government work here, Joe?
01:22:10.000 I don't know.
01:22:11.000 This is the government.
01:22:12.000 It doesn't seem likely.
01:22:14.000 You so saved me.
01:22:15.000 I was like, the federal, and then it goes to the outhouse.
01:22:19.000 Jamie would be better at explaining that.
01:22:21.000 You were explaining to me what...
01:22:22.000 House passed it.
01:22:23.000 He was the one who sent it to me.
01:22:24.000 House passed it.
01:22:26.000 The Senate will be voting on it probably once they get the full Senate together.
01:22:30.000 Because I didn't realize that there was all this talk about that was the thing to get into.
01:22:34.000 You know, invest in and get into these people.
01:22:36.000 And I didn't realize it was this all cash business.
01:22:39.000 And it was a nightmare.
01:22:40.000 Like I had a buddy of mine that kind of got out of this business, got into that.
01:22:44.000 And like, he was sort of living like this murder mountain fucking existence where there was local gangs, hostile about what, and they were like, They were kind of like, hey man, we're just like making CBD oil for like your fucking joints or whatever.
01:22:56.000 We're not selling what you're selling.
01:22:58.000 And they were driving by, you know, taking shots at people.
01:23:02.000 I have friends that protect those guys.
01:23:04.000 I have friends too, Joe.
01:23:05.000 I know you do.
01:23:06.000 But that's...
01:23:08.000 A crazier situation is that these guys have to bring gigantic bags of cash to the bank.
01:23:14.000 At least they did for a long time.
01:23:15.000 Banks weren't accepting any credit card receipts, anything along the lines of what you would normally get.
01:23:21.000 And then in some places they had to put their money in a safe deposit box.
01:23:24.000 Because it was federally illegal.
01:23:26.000 So there's a lot of banks that didn't want to have anything to do with it, especially in the early days of Colorado.
01:23:30.000 So I had friends that were...
01:23:32.000 It's like the Scarface scene where he's bringing the duffel bags in.
01:23:35.000 No, literally.
01:23:36.000 Millions of dollars in cash, in bags, and these guys would transport it, and they would hire these special forces guys.
01:23:44.000 So they would hire SEALs and Rangers, and these guys would literally be fucking strapped and loaded to the teeth and rolling around with millions of dollars of cash.
01:23:53.000 I love those guys.
01:23:54.000 And they were always worried about getting jumped.
01:23:57.000 They're always worried about someone breaking in.
01:23:58.000 It was like hippies and peaceful people wandering, like, what have you got?
01:24:03.000 I'm looking for something in a sativa, you know, like, wanted to get high.
01:24:06.000 And then there's four or five...
01:24:09.000 You must have had Navy SEALs and, like, Army Rangers on here.
01:24:13.000 Oh, a bunch.
01:24:13.000 A bunch of them work for me.
01:24:14.000 Those guys out there that work for me, all the guys who are security are all ex-military.
01:24:19.000 But just their existence, okay?
01:24:21.000 So you get into special forces and the shit that you had to survive, right?
01:24:25.000 And then you get out of the army and you're like, alright, I got a civilian life and now this is going to be like, now you're bringing like bags of cash like you're in Scarface. 0.90
01:24:33.000 You're like, can I get a fucking break here?
01:24:35.000 Can I just get like a fucking sit in a booth?
01:24:38.000 Take somebody's goddamn temperature?
01:24:40.000 Honestly?
01:24:41.000 I talk to a lot of like...
01:24:43.000 Like a military pilot, you know?
01:24:45.000 And this one guy, he had flown in the first Gulf War, helicopters and shit.
01:24:52.000 And I'm like, oh man, you must be a sick-ass pilot and, you know, flying around out here.
01:24:57.000 And he's like, nah, I don't do it anymore.
01:25:00.000 I don't do it anymore.
01:25:01.000 And I'm like, why?
01:25:02.000 Why not?
01:25:02.000 It's so much fun.
01:25:03.000 And he just goes, you know, after people are just like shooting at you and stuff, I just kind of like being down here.
01:25:10.000 And I just remember thinking like, because I know how scared I am if I solo.
01:25:14.000 There's always that, you know, it's this amazing feeling.
01:25:18.000 Well, the last two times I did it, it was really relaxing.
01:25:22.000 But, like, just early on when you're doing it, you're like, what in the fuck am I doing?
01:25:26.000 Right.
01:25:27.000 I can't imagine, like...
01:25:28.000 Bullets whizzing by you.
01:25:29.000 Yeah, like your first solo in this fucking thing, and you got that thing over your eye.
01:25:34.000 You're like the fucking Terminator.
01:25:35.000 Like, how long they have to train for those high-level Apaches, whatever the hell they are.
01:25:40.000 What is the thing over your eye?
01:25:41.000 They have, like, a fucking thing, dude, where, like, you're looking out the windshield, and you're also taking information over this... 0.84
01:25:48.000 This...
01:25:48.000 It's insane.
01:25:49.000 It's like you're like...
01:25:50.000 Like a Google Glass type deal?
01:25:52.000 Like a fucking chameleon where you're looking at two things at once and flying a helicopter and getting shot at.
01:25:57.000 Oh my god.
01:25:57.000 There it is.
01:25:58.000 Oh my god.
01:25:59.000 What does it look like inside, Jamie?
01:25:59.000 Look at that.
01:26:01.000 Is there a...
01:26:02.000 Can they show you a view?
01:26:04.000 Oh, you can buy one of those on Amazon.
01:26:05.000 Look at that.
01:26:06.000 How ridiculous.
01:26:06.000 I know.
01:26:07.000 We need to do podcasts with those on.
01:26:09.000 I mean, that's what I'm gonna wear instead of masks.
01:26:12.000 You can wear one of those, right?
01:26:13.000 What's that?
01:26:14.000 A motorcycle helmet?
01:26:15.000 If you can wear a mask, why can't you wear a big ol' fuckin' helmet everywhere?
01:26:19.000 Oh, if you ride a motorcycle, you don't wear a helmet?
01:26:21.000 Out here, you don't have to.
01:26:23.000 You would, though, right?
01:26:24.000 Fuck yeah.
01:26:25.000 Okay.
01:26:26.000 Jesus Christ.
01:26:26.000 I thought you were gonna go full Gary Busey.
01:26:28.000 No, no, no, no.
01:26:30.000 But I was saying that if you wanted to wear, you didn't want to wear a mask, you could just wear a motorcycle helmet.
01:26:36.000 But these, does it show you what they see?
01:26:39.000 That seemed fake, the first one.
01:26:41.000 This does too.
01:26:42.000 Huh.
01:26:44.000 So they're just like, oh, so this is like new versions of it.
01:26:46.000 When they train on those things, they get like massive headaches.
01:26:49.000 It's almost like building your tolerance up.
01:26:53.000 You know, they say you only use a certain portion of your brain.
01:26:56.000 There's all this extra thing.
01:26:56.000 I think with that thing, you're starting to, you know, pull back that warehouse door into the other part of your brain.
01:27:02.000 Yeah, that thing of only using a certain part of your brain is not totally accurate.
01:27:07.000 What they used to think that you only used, like, 10% of your brain, like, that's actually, like, one of the premises, a false premise in the movie Lucy.
01:27:18.000 Lucy's a movie where they give this lady, Scarlett Johansson. 0.83
01:27:22.000 Yeah, I love that movie.
01:27:23.000 They give her some drug, and then she turns out to be some god at the end of the movie.
01:27:28.000 She literally becomes like a god.
01:27:29.000 Spoiler alert.
01:27:30.000 I just remember her kicking the shit out of everybody. 0.99
01:27:32.000 Beating the fuck out of everybody.
01:27:33.000 She knew how to fight.
01:27:34.000 That's a movie for me.
01:27:35.000 She also knew how to stop physics. 0.96
01:27:38.000 She knew how to stop bullets and stop... 1.00
01:27:40.000 I don't want to say anymore.
01:27:41.000 It's a good movie.
01:27:42.000 I saw the movie, but I can't quite remember.
01:27:42.000 You know what's funny?
01:27:45.000 It's a great fucking movie.
01:27:46.000 But the idea is that, here it is, that you only use 10% of your brain.
01:27:48.000 I thought she had red hair or pink hair. 1.00
01:27:50.000 No, that was the other one.
01:27:52.000 She played another movie where she was like a robot. 1.00
01:27:55.000 What was that other movie?
01:27:56.000 Ghost in the Machine?
01:27:57.000 Ghost in the Shell?
01:27:58.000 Was it Ghost in the Machine?
01:27:59.000 She does that a lot. 1.00
01:28:00.000 Yeah.
01:28:01.000 She's pretty goddamn hot. 1.00
01:28:06.000 Anyway, the premise was that you only use 10% of your brain.
01:28:09.000 From what I understand, they used to think that, but now they have a better understanding of the different parts of your brain and what they're being used for.
01:28:17.000 And there's different parts of your brain that are being used for motor skills, different parts of your brain for emotions, different parts of your brain for memory.
01:28:26.000 There's a lot going on.
01:28:27.000 So the idea that you only use 10% of your brain is not real.
01:28:31.000 They never examined my brain.
01:28:37.000 I'm probably using about 11 on a good day.
01:28:39.000 You know what's weird about your brain?
01:28:41.000 Anybody's brain.
01:28:42.000 It's about how inconsistent it is.
01:28:44.000 Some days my brain is fucking firing on all cylinders and words just come flying out of my mouth and I know what I'm saying.
01:28:50.000 I started this podcast.
01:28:50.000 I'm off today.
01:28:52.000 I couldn't talk.
01:28:53.000 You were great.
01:28:54.000 What are you talking about?
01:28:54.000 I was trying to remember.
01:28:55.000 I couldn't even come up.
01:28:57.000 Suburb was the word I was trying to find.
01:28:59.000 But don't you think it's because you did two shows last night and you need a little break, a little rested?
01:29:03.000 No, I'm in the middle of a 16-show run.
01:29:05.000 16?
01:29:06.000 Yeah.
01:29:07.000 What day did you start?
01:29:08.000 Monday to Monday.
01:29:09.000 You started Monday?
01:29:10.000 What'd you do Monday?
01:29:11.000 I did four nights in Dallas.
01:29:15.000 So Monday to Thursday in Dallas?
01:29:17.000 Yeah, so shows last night were 9 and 10. Wow.
01:29:20.000 So this is 11, 12. Jesus Christ.
01:29:22.000 To a night?
01:29:23.000 I'm fucking burnt.
01:29:24.000 That's why I was so silly.
01:29:26.000 On the last show, the show you went to, I was being so silly.
01:29:29.000 It was because that overly acting shit out and jumping up and down, squatting down, acting like an idiot, that is the frustration of, I'm getting sick of these jokes, so I need something new in this.
01:29:43.000 But don't you think that that's what makes them hit some new play sometimes?
01:29:47.000 It's like, you know, I love, back in the day when I was drinking, I loved to have, who doesn't like to have four drinks, all right?
01:29:54.000 But doing stand-up like that, this is like I'm on drinks nine and ten.
01:29:57.000 Yeah.
01:29:58.000 And it's just like now I'm going to have a massive hangover.
01:30:00.000 I just got to get through these next few.
01:30:05.000 I'm fine.
01:30:06.000 I'm fine.
01:30:09.000 I know the mindset.
01:30:10.000 I have to get in.
01:30:13.000 And then, you know, my crushing need to be liked.
01:30:15.000 I just know that I'm not going to take any shows off.
01:30:17.000 But that's the fear as you start to get a little...
01:30:20.000 I'm not a young guy.
01:30:21.000 So, I mean, this takes me back to, you know, used to do those casino gigs.
01:30:27.000 Or like how road gigs used to be.
01:30:29.000 You know, you'd come in Tuesday through Sunday, two Friday, three Saturdays.
01:30:34.000 And just going up and like when we were coming up because when I was coming up anyways, you know, the dip had happened so they would just paper these fucking rooms and it was just 300 fucking people and large clumps of 20 that all knew each other hammered and could give a fuck because they were looking at it like it was a free show.
01:30:51.000 And you just went up there with like a whip and a chair trying to get these fucking people. 0.77
01:30:51.000 Yeah. 0.77
01:30:55.000 And then those were always the clubs.
01:30:57.000 Try not to curse too much.
01:30:59.000 It's like, why don't you try not to fucking over-serve everybody, you fucking assholes.
01:31:03.000 It was like an impossible situation with those things.
01:31:08.000 I'll tell you, last show, the first show last night, it was pretty fucking...
01:31:13.000 It took me back to some of those.
01:31:15.000 I think there was confusion as to when the show started.
01:31:18.000 And people were so psyched to be out that they were drinking like they were still in college.
01:31:22.000 And there was this fucking chick just screaming. 1.00
01:31:27.000 Just nonsensical shit like a fucking banshee.
01:31:31.000 And I was like, alright, alright, alright.
01:31:33.000 I was trying to calm her down.
01:31:34.000 I was, you know, new techniques that I've been using.
01:31:38.000 Like, you know, actually validating that I heard you shrieking.
01:31:41.000 Does that work?
01:31:42.000 And then finally I just had to kind of get a little mean.
01:31:44.000 Something about menopause.
01:31:46.000 I don't remember what...
01:31:49.000 But anyway, and then I felt bad.
01:31:50.000 I was like, I don't want to do that.
01:31:52.000 I just don't want to do that anymore.
01:31:54.000 But then security was helping her out and she couldn't even fucking stand up, which was hilarious. 0.97
01:32:00.000 Dude, people got after it last night.
01:32:00.000 Fucking...
01:32:03.000 But then the second show, they were like the...
01:32:06.000 You know, it's usually the late show, but it was the first show.
01:32:09.000 You know what?
01:32:09.000 They were just like, I got a babysitter.
01:32:11.000 We're fucking out.
01:32:13.000 Woo! 0.99
01:32:14.000 And they were just fucking...
01:32:15.000 They were nuts.
01:32:16.000 Well, the second show was wild, too.
01:32:18.000 So the first show must have been really crazy.
01:32:20.000 It was like Heavy Metal Parking Lot is what it was.
01:32:22.000 Except with, like, soccer moms. 1.00
01:32:24.000 It was funny because it was really...
01:32:26.000 It was mostly the women were like... 1.00
01:32:27.000 I don't know what they were.
01:32:28.000 They were fucking going nuts.
01:32:30.000 And then there was one guy...
01:32:33.000 The guy trying to help the jokes?
01:32:35.000 Oh.
01:32:36.000 I said something about mac and cheese and he's like, you mean cheese and macaroni?
01:32:41.000 Like, whatever that means.
01:32:42.000 And I was just like, oh my god.
01:32:44.000 Okay.
01:32:45.000 Okay, buddy.
01:32:47.000 So, uh...
01:32:48.000 Yeah.
01:32:49.000 I got off stage and I was just like...
01:32:52.000 Alright, I thought Dallas was going to be the hard one because we were near a highway.
01:32:56.000 So the first show there was like rush hour traffic and there was also final approach of Love Field.
01:33:01.000 So every like, you know, the spacing and sequencing, like every like fucking five minutes it was like a southwest fucking landing. 0.69
01:33:08.000 But it was easy to use that.
01:33:10.000 Right.
01:33:11.000 I would just be like, alright, that sounds like, that's one of those Hondas with the high performance muffler. 0.98
01:33:17.000 I just started calling out the cars as they were going by and the planes and shit.
01:33:20.000 How close were you to the highway?
01:33:22.000 It was one of those noise barrier walls, and then there was a street.
01:33:26.000 But the funny thing was, was the stage was up high, so the crowd, I ended up figuring out, the crowd was down low and couldn't hear it the way I heard it, unless it was super loud.
01:33:35.000 And then I couldn't really hear myself, so then I started yelling, and then the third show, I felt a little twinge.
01:33:39.000 I got, like, you know, about a dozen shows left, and I'm already doing this.
01:33:39.000 I'm like, oh, fuck.
01:33:43.000 So then I actually sort of adjusted how I was talking, and then it kind of went away, which I can't believe.
01:33:50.000 I did one weekend in Houston in July, and one of the things that I noticed at the end of the weekend by Saturday night, late show, I was like, ooh, my voice is not in shape.
01:33:50.000 So, um...
01:33:59.000 Like, my vocal cords are not in shape.
01:34:01.000 They're getting tired.
01:34:02.000 Yeah, you forget.
01:34:03.000 You also forget how to do it the right way.
01:34:06.000 And I gained a whole new respect for...
01:34:10.000 Not only bands that play outdoors, but also like singers.
01:34:14.000 Because it's a completely, completely different vibe.
01:34:19.000 Like last night felt like an indoor show.
01:34:22.000 It was weird.
01:34:23.000 Where everything else is just like...
01:34:26.000 I'm trying to remember what it was like to stand up inside.
01:34:30.000 I know, right?
01:34:31.000 I know, with just like...
01:34:33.000 I remember the shit that would annoy me.
01:34:35.000 Like the fucking...
01:34:36.000 When they would be running the bills and you hear that machine doing that shit.
01:34:43.000 Or the blender in the back making margaritas.
01:34:45.000 That was the loudest thing you heard.
01:34:47.000 Now it's just like, alright, they've had fucking jets landing.
01:34:51.000 I'm not even going to hear that.
01:34:52.000 But I've been having...
01:34:55.000 So much fun and just seeing the fact that someone would come out to see stand-up in that environment under a fucking blanket is really like, man, people really love this shit.
01:35:08.000 They love it the way I love it.
01:35:09.000 They just don't do it.
01:35:10.000 So it's been like, it's kind of been giving me like a jolt for every show to like, all right, these fucking guys, people are going to sit out here on the grass under blankets.
01:35:19.000 You know, I'm, you know, It's not easy right now.
01:35:22.000 So the people that are going to see it and the people that are doing it, they're the people that are really enthusiastic.
01:35:28.000 What I noticed when I did shows here, I did one with Chappelle and one with Hinchcliffe and Ron White.
01:35:35.000 So I did two weekends in a row, two weeks in a row.
01:35:38.000 And it's like the people are very happy to be there.
01:35:41.000 It's a different feeling.
01:35:43.000 Did you see that clip Ron White made of selling his house?
01:35:45.000 Yeah, it's great.
01:35:46.000 Oh my god.
01:35:47.000 It's got a beautiful fucking house.
01:35:47.000 It's very good.
01:35:49.000 Oh, it's gorgeous.
01:35:49.000 That's the place in Beverly Hills.
01:35:51.000 Yeah.
01:35:51.000 Yeah, that's like...
01:35:52.000 There were so many things that I loved about it.
01:35:56.000 Because I pretty much survive on tequila and crackers.
01:35:56.000 He lives out here now.
01:35:58.000 Tequila and crackers keeps me going.
01:36:00.000 There was like so many like just brilliant lines in that and I was just reading the comments because I knew everybody like he's just one of those guys just everybody loves him and it was just like every real estate video should be like this.
01:36:13.000 It should be the person that owns the house.
01:36:15.000 Especially if it's Ron White.
01:36:15.000 Right.
01:36:18.000 Yeah, I mean, that guy is like, I don't know what the proper term is, like a folk hero.
01:36:23.000 He's like a character in a book, but he's a real person.
01:36:29.000 He's another guy, one of the most fun dudes I hung out with.
01:36:33.000 As funny as he is, he doesn't need to be the center of attention.
01:36:36.000 He really listens.
01:36:37.000 You can have a conversation with him.
01:36:39.000 It's a real rare quality, I feel like, when somebody is that funny and that good of a storyteller that they kind of enjoy...
01:36:48.000 Naga, you tell a story. 0.66
01:36:49.000 No, he's just a great guy.
01:36:50.000 Yeah.
01:36:50.000 Just a great guy in general.
01:36:52.000 He lives out here now.
01:36:53.000 Yeah.
01:36:54.000 He was...
01:36:54.000 There he is.
01:36:55.000 Ron White and his dog, Mustard.
01:36:58.000 He looks good, man.
01:37:01.000 Living an easy life.
01:37:02.000 It's a fucking beautiful house.
01:37:04.000 We did the show, and it was the first show we did at Vulcan Gas Company.
01:37:08.000 What a fucking head of hair.
01:37:09.000 I know.
01:37:10.000 Gorgeous, right?
01:37:11.000 Go back to that.
01:37:12.000 I mean, I just look at that going like, God damn.
01:37:15.000 It's got a perfect head of hair.
01:37:16.000 Whatever DNA I didn't get went onto his side of the fucking boat, man.
01:37:20.000 Look at that.
01:37:21.000 Luxurious.
01:37:22.000 Ten years older than us.
01:37:23.000 I mean, that looks as good as this house.
01:37:26.000 Yeah.
01:37:28.000 Glorious silver locks with his numero one tequila.
01:37:33.000 Look at him.
01:37:34.000 Look at him!
01:37:35.000 All red from being out there golfing.
01:37:38.000 Who's having more fun than that guy?
01:37:40.000 Very few humans.
01:37:41.000 Look at that.
01:37:42.000 It's the middle of the day.
01:37:43.000 Yeah.
01:37:44.000 It's probably a Tuesday.
01:37:45.000 Yep.
01:37:46.000 Just drinking, having fun.
01:37:48.000 Yeah, I went over his house out here, and we were supposed to go to dinner.
01:37:51.000 He said, come to your apartment.
01:37:53.000 Hang out in the apartment first.
01:37:54.000 So I go up to his apartment.
01:37:55.000 He's like, you want a margarita?
01:37:56.000 They got a pitcher of margaritas.
01:37:57.000 And then there was a girl who was just pouring margaritas. 0.98
01:37:59.000 I'm like, all right, let's do this.
01:38:01.000 We're doing this.
01:38:02.000 Okay, let's go.
01:38:03.000 Yeah.
01:38:04.000 It's like he's always in Cancun.
01:38:06.000 He's living the life, man.
01:38:07.000 He is.
01:38:08.000 So we did this gig, and he hadn't done stand-up the entire time during the pandemic.
01:38:13.000 He hadn't done anything.
01:38:14.000 And he's like, man, I think I'm retired.
01:38:16.000 And he's thinking, I don't need to do this.
01:38:19.000 I had a long life, and I sold this, and I'm selling that.
01:38:22.000 I'm going to sell my this, and I'm going to sell my that.
01:38:24.000 He's got his money.
01:38:25.000 I love hearing that.
01:38:25.000 So we do this gig.
01:38:28.000 He fucking crushes.
01:38:29.000 Of course.
01:38:29.000 He hasn't done stand-up in eight months, right?
01:38:31.000 But he had been...
01:38:33.000 Like obsessively going over his material.
01:38:35.000 He'll pretend like he doesn't give a fuck.
01:38:37.000 He gives a fuck.
01:38:38.000 He's an artist.
01:38:39.000 He really cares.
01:38:40.000 But part of his art is not giving a fuck.
01:38:42.000 So he's going over his material.
01:38:44.000 He's got fucking headphones on, listening to his bits.
01:38:47.000 He's taking notes all day apparently.
01:38:51.000 Crushes.
01:38:52.000 I mean crushes.
01:38:53.000 Vulcan Gas Company, this place out here.
01:38:55.000 And afterwards, I get off stage.
01:38:57.000 He grabs you by the shoulder.
01:38:58.000 He goes, we are fucking doing this again.
01:39:01.000 He goes, whatever we got to do.
01:39:02.000 Whatever we got to do.
01:39:03.000 You're going to fucking open up a club.
01:39:05.000 We're going to make this happen, Joe Rogan.
01:39:06.000 I go, I'm going to open up a club, Ron White.
01:39:08.000 Don't worry about it.
01:39:08.000 We're going to make this happen.
01:39:09.000 He goes, whatever the fuck we got to do to do that again.
01:39:12.000 Because he got it fixed again.
01:39:14.000 Bang! 1.00
01:39:14.000 So much fun. 1.00
01:39:15.000 Whoa! 0.71
01:39:16.000 And when they went nuts when he went on stage, and they went nuts when he went off stage, and you could tell it's like he had a glow about him when he walked into the green room.
01:39:24.000 It's like he was just elevated.
01:39:27.000 Speaking of which, dude, I hate to cut this thing a little bit short.
01:39:31.000 Let's cut it off.
01:39:31.000 No worries.
01:39:31.000 You got shows.
01:39:32.000 You got shows.
01:39:33.000 I've got to save it.
01:39:33.000 I appreciate you coming in here, man.
01:39:35.000 It was fun.
01:39:35.000 Yeah, dude.
01:39:35.000 It was fun.
01:39:36.000 Last night seeing you doing stand-up was a jolt in my arm, too.
01:39:40.000 It was fun.
01:39:41.000 It was exciting.
01:39:42.000 It was fun to just sit down and watch the show.
01:39:44.000 Dean Del Rey was hilarious.
01:39:45.000 Dean Del Rey's got some great bits.
01:39:47.000 It was really fun.
01:39:48.000 Really fun.
01:39:49.000 And just watching you two guys and watching your set, man, it was so enjoyable to see a guy who's out there in this touchy time.
01:39:57.000 Look, as much as we pretend we don't give a fuck, people are sensitive to criticism.
01:40:02.000 And this is a time where you get criticized.
01:40:04.000 And you get criticized in a ruthless, horrible way.
01:40:07.000 And people pile on.
01:40:08.000 Oh, he's a this and he's a that.
01:40:10.000 And I know people have done it to you.
01:40:12.000 But to see you out there fucking throwing haymakers.
01:40:16.000 Just haymakers. 0.98
01:40:17.000 It was fun, man.
01:40:19.000 You didn't take...
01:40:20.000 There was no corners cut.
01:40:22.000 You weren't pulling back any punches.
01:40:25.000 You were throwing bombs.
01:40:27.000 That's what everybody should be doing.
01:40:28.000 That's what everybody should be doing.
01:40:30.000 Whatever that version of you is, is what you should be doing.
01:40:34.000 Because I would never tell another comic what they should and should be saying.
01:40:38.000 And that's one of the most heartbreaking things about all of this.
01:40:40.000 I get it when it's just groups.
01:40:42.000 But to see other comics piling on, trashing other comics, I equate that back to like...
01:40:49.000 Back when they had the big, the red scare, and directors would turn in other directors and actors would go after other actors and shit.
01:40:56.000 It's just like, you are a fucking cowardly piece of shit to do that to another fucking, especially if you weren't there and you don't know what the fuck happened and you're attacked, you know, or you wait till something happens to them and it's your excuse to get your little bitter comment in about their fucking act.
01:41:11.000 You are a steaming pile of shit.
01:41:14.000 100%, and I've cut a lot of people out of my life because of that.
01:41:16.000 I don't even talk to them.
01:41:17.000 One of those people came up to me, like, hey, Bill, how you doing?
01:41:20.000 You had a kid, and how's your family?
01:41:22.000 And I'm thinking in my head, like, you give a fuck that I have a family.
01:41:24.000 All it would take was one comment, and you would help fucking take me down. 0.93
01:41:27.000 Yeah, 100%.
01:41:28.000 Go fuck yourself.
01:41:28.000 100%.
01:41:29.000 You're a piece of shit.
01:41:30.000 That's how I feel.
01:41:31.000 I couldn't agree more.
01:41:32.000 I'm glad you're out there, brother.
01:41:33.000 I love you.
01:41:34.000 I love you too, brother.
01:41:34.000 All right, man.
01:41:35.000 Goodbye, everybody.
01:41:36.000 See you.