The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1594 - Yannis Pappas

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:16.000 It's good to see you here.

00:00:17.000 Good to see you.

00:00:17.000 Nice to have you in Texas.

00:00:20.000 Yeah, this is nice.

00:00:22.000 I'm trying to work on being a better New Yorker by not comparing everything the first day to New York.

00:00:30.000 That's how New Yorkers are.

00:00:31.000 Every time you go to a new city, you're like, ah, this is like the Brooklyn of, this is like the Queens of, this is like the Brooklyn Bridge of.

00:00:38.000 Yeah, this is a different animal down here.

00:00:40.000 Yeah.

00:00:41.000 It's like hipsters who have guns.

00:00:43.000 I like it.

00:00:44.000 That's a good way of putting it.

00:00:46.000 Hipsters with concealed carry permits.

00:00:47.000 Yeah, I hung out last night with one of the dudes from the Drinking Bros podcast.

00:00:52.000 Oh, okay.

00:00:53.000 And yeah, he was like, I'm gonna walk home in the park.

00:00:56.000 And then he made a joke. 0.99

00:00:57.000 He was like, yeah, if anyone talks to me, I'll just shoot him. 0.97

00:00:58.000 And he was like, don't worry, I haven't killed anyone stateside. 1.00

00:01:01.000 I was like, he means that shit. 1.00

00:01:03.000 I went to Terry's, too. 1.00

00:01:09.000 Terry Black's?

00:01:10.000 Yeah, Terry Black's barbecue.

00:01:12.000 That was the best brisket I've ever had in my entire life.

00:01:15.000 Yeah, people say that, oh, you've got to go to this place.

00:01:17.000 I'm like, no, I don't.

00:01:18.000 If barbecue is better than that, I don't want it.

00:01:23.000 I don't know how you can get better.

00:01:24.000 I mean, I don't want to ruin my life.

00:01:26.000 If barbecue's better than that, I don't know how I'm going to eat anything else.

00:01:29.000 Yeah.

00:01:30.000 It was the best I've ever had, and they were telling me it's the fourth best.

00:01:33.000 Who says that?

00:01:35.000 That's what they were saying.

00:01:36.000 They were going, like, you got to go to this other...

00:01:38.000 Yeah, they always do that here, though.

00:01:40.000 You got to go to Franklin's because you got to wait in line.

00:01:42.000 I've had Franklin's. 0.99

00:01:43.000 It's fucking amazing. 0.98

00:01:44.000 It's really good. 0.99

00:01:45.000 It's not that much different.

00:01:47.000 I mean, it's just all great. 0.98

00:01:49.000 The brisket at Terry Black's is fucking insane. 0.99

00:01:52.000 They slice it. 0.99

00:01:53.000 It's sopping wet.

00:01:55.000 The juices are pouring out of it.

00:01:57.000 You eat it.

00:01:57.000 It's melting in your mouth.

00:01:58.000 You don't need any teeth to chew it.

00:02:01.000 Yeah, it's tender, yeah. 0.99

00:02:02.000 Like, what the fuck is better than this? 0.98

00:02:03.000 How does it get better? 1.00

00:02:04.000 Yeah, you can feed it to a baby, you'll go down. 0.98

00:02:07.000 Yeah, you don't need teeth.

00:02:08.000 Just throw it in the gums and it melts.

00:02:10.000 It's so good.

00:02:11.000 And did you have their beef ribs?

00:02:12.000 No, we had the sausage with the cheese in it.

00:02:15.000 Oh, that's good.

00:02:15.000 Yeah, that was real good.

00:02:17.000 Jalapeno cheddar.

00:02:17.000 Yeah.

00:02:18.000 Bro, the beef ribs, you pick up the rib and you try to hold the rib up and it just slides off the rib and slops onto the plate.

00:02:24.000 Oh, that's nice, yeah.

00:02:25.000 Oh! 0.60

00:02:25.000 It was so good. 0.60

00:02:27.000 They gave me a tour of the smokers.

00:02:29.000 They have someone make their own smokers out of propane tanks.

00:02:33.000 So there's these giant propane tank smokers.

00:02:36.000 It's next level down.

00:02:38.000 Austin, you could tell, is kind of like the way Brooklyn was when it started.

00:02:43.000 You're doing it.

00:02:43.000 I'm doing it right now.

00:02:44.000 I just fucking did it. 1.00

00:02:46.000 I'm like retarded New York. 1.00

00:02:49.000 We think we're better than everyone and it's just all bravado. 0.86

00:02:54.000 We can't do anything except you take us out of New York and we're like, where am I? Where's the bodega?

00:02:59.000 Where can I get a slice?

00:03:01.000 We can't.

00:03:01.000 But at its best, New York is the ultimate city.

00:03:05.000 At its best, it's the ultimate place.

00:03:07.000 It really is.

00:03:08.000 It's jammed with people.

00:03:10.000 There's a million different flavors.

00:03:12.000 There's all kinds of different restaurants and neighborhoods, and it's a legitimate melting pot where you get on the subway, there's millionaires next to homeless people, and everybody's together, and everybody walks down the street together.

00:03:27.000 And that is one thing that separates it and makes it superior to Los Angeles.

00:03:31.000 Los Angeles is isolated.

00:03:33.000 Everyone's isolated in their little community, isolated in their car, they drive to a place, they give their key to a valet, they don't mingle as much.

00:03:40.000 In New York, people are out there, they're mingling.

00:03:44.000 It's true.

00:03:45.000 I went to school in D.C. and that was the first time I left New York and I realized how segregated That city was.

00:03:52.000 And in New York, people are forced to interact with each other just because it's a walking city.

00:03:55.000 Yeah.

00:03:56.000 And so you got to take the train.

00:03:57.000 I mean, you're crazy to try to drive across town.

00:04:00.000 It'll take you longer to go across town than it will to, like, go to another state. 0.63

00:04:04.000 Yeah.

00:04:04.000 So it's like, yeah, you're forced to mingle and see.

00:04:06.000 And it is a universe crammed into one.

00:04:08.000 It is kind of unique that way, where you kind of actually meet a Peruvian person or, like, someone who's half from Bolivia, half Peru.

00:04:13.000 You go to other places, it's like Mexicans, you know? 1.00

00:04:17.000 New York, you learn about countries you didn't even know existed.

00:04:21.000 You're from Uganda?

00:04:22.000 Alright, that's a country.

00:04:23.000 And you can go to Chinatown and you might as well be in Asia. 0.89

00:04:28.000 You will get legit Chinese food at 2 o'clock in the morning.

00:04:31.000 They got a fish tank.

00:04:32.000 They'll scoop the fish out and kill it in front of you. 0.88

00:04:35.000 Cook it as fresh as it can be.

00:04:38.000 It's an amazing place when it's at its best.

00:04:41.000 My worry is that it's not going to be that place again.

00:04:43.000 It's not right now.

00:04:45.000 I mean...

00:04:45.000 I was about to say that you ever go to Chinatown in the summer?

00:04:48.000 It gets hot.

00:04:49.000 It gets weird.

00:04:50.000 Yeah.

00:04:52.000 You wish you'd lose your smell from COVID during that. 1.00

00:04:55.000 I mean, that shit stinks. 1.00

00:04:56.000 It's like New York's asshole. 1.00

00:04:58.000 Well, I remember in New York when the garbage workers were on strike. 1.00

00:05:03.000 And I was in Harlem.

00:05:05.000 I was in Harlem because a friend of mine who was a professional pool player was going there to meet this guy who was a pimp, who was also a pool hustler, and he would bet high.

00:05:16.000 And so we went to this pool hall in Harlem.

00:05:19.000 And dude, I'm not exaggerating by saying the garbage was stacked seven feet high, and there was rats running all over the place, because no one had picked up the garbage.

00:05:27.000 So people would go outside, put a bag of garbage, go back inside, and the garbage would just keep stacking.

00:05:32.000 And for, I don't know how long the strike lasted, but for as long as it lasted, it was bizarre.

00:05:38.000 Like, you'd be like, Jesus, that's a rat. 0.99

00:05:39.000 That's another rat! 1.00

00:05:40.000 Like, how many fucking rats are here? 1.00

00:05:42.000 There was so many rats. 1.00

00:05:43.000 I would think that they would go and strike more because they have such leverage Oh, yeah. 0.60

00:05:48.000 Like, they could just be like, alright, you know, you want this city to stink worse?

00:05:52.000 The problem is, it's a good job and other people will jump in.

00:05:56.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:05:57.000 But then that's when you got to do the picket line and break people's heads and go old school, you know?

00:06:02.000 You got to unionize and... 0.94

00:06:04.000 How much does a garbage worker get paid? 1.00

00:06:05.000 They get paid because nobody wants to do that.

00:06:07.000 You have to be strong.

00:06:09.000 Right.

00:06:09.000 You got to have a high tolerance for...

00:06:11.000 Smell.

00:06:11.000 Smell, yeah.

00:06:12.000 I bet your immune system gets fucking pumped up, though. 0.99

00:06:15.000 That's the one thing about being a New Yorker. 0.98

00:06:16.000 Like, that's why I was surprised I got so sick with COVID because I was like, I've been... 0.97

00:06:19.000 Eating rat piss for a year. 0.92

00:06:21.000 Every time you order out, there's like a little rat piss on it. 1.00

00:06:24.000 A little rat shit and a little rat piss. 1.00

00:06:27.000 Cheers, by the way. 1.00

00:06:28.000 Thank you for giving me a stick.

00:06:31.000 You are a fantastic follow on Twitter. 0.92

00:06:34.000 You're hilarious, but I worry about your mental health.

00:06:36.000 Yeah, me too. 0.96

00:06:36.000 Because you tweet so much, I'm like, Sean, this is really funny, and I don't want to tell him to stop doing this, but goddamn, this is not good, because I know he's probably reading replies and... 0.96

00:06:46.000 Yeah, I got that thing where I don't, it doesn't seem like I'm, it seems like a lot of us get infected by that, where we just, we start, we see the reply and we're like, motherfucker! 1.00

00:06:57.000 No, fuck you! 1.00

00:06:59.000 No, fuck you! 1.00

00:07:01.000 And then you're going, what am I doing? 1.00

00:07:02.000 And, you know, in the beginning of a comic's career, in particular, it's a crucial tool because people can see your funny writing, they can see your perspectives, but there's a lot of people that I follow, especially during COVID, I can watch their descent into madness. 0.99

00:07:16.000 And I watched him arguing with people about shit and yelling and being really uncivil. 0.99

00:07:20.000 And I'm like, God damn. 1.00

00:07:22.000 I know you. 0.99

00:07:23.000 You're not this guy.

00:07:24.000 What are you doing?

00:07:25.000 You want to go hug him?

00:07:27.000 Yeah, it's a negative, evil place.

00:07:29.000 And actually, I think the first time we communicated, I jumped in when you were arguing with some woke chick who was just trying to get you.

00:07:36.000 And I just started like...

00:07:38.000 Asking her questions and then you'd like personally message and you're like, hey, man, thanks for having my back.

00:07:42.000 So you see you it was that was positive reinforcement You should have told me you should be like, hey, man, you shouldn't you shouldn't have done that.

00:07:48.000 It was years ago.

00:07:50.000 It was before I swore off.

00:07:52.000 Yeah, you did the right thing.

00:07:53.000 It's had to I got untenable for me It's like and also I realized like I'm not getting anything.

00:07:59.000 I'm just honest with myself.

00:08:01.000 I'm not getting any I don't get anything out of this.

00:08:04.000 I'm not getting any progress, like with my head.

00:08:07.000 You just slide.

00:08:11.000 I never come out of those feeling good, even if I trample somebody.

00:08:14.000 I never feel like, yeah, that was worth doing.

00:08:17.000 It's always like, why did I do that?

00:08:18.000 I don't even want to do that.

00:08:20.000 I don't even want to trample somebody.

00:08:22.000 I want to find them and talk to them one-on-one, and I guarantee we would have a reasonable discussion.

00:08:29.000 It's just the worst way to communicate with people.

00:08:32.000 I remember once I was like doing some one-nighter and I was pulling over on the side of the road to finish an argument and I was like this.

00:08:40.000 I was just actually pulling over on a highway to be like, wait a second.

00:08:43.000 I just thought of a good point.

00:08:45.000 Let me get this guy I don't know about who's probably like gonna not get it.

00:08:49.000 And yeah, that's when I knew I had a problem.

00:08:51.000 That's why I love your show because it's like It's the opposite of Twitter. 0.99

00:08:56.000 It's like the total opposite of these pithy little, wait, fuck, ad tweet, ad tweet, fuck, I gotta take the the out to make my point. 0.99

00:09:04.000 This is like, you get to really express yourself, get to know somebody, that's what's great about it. 0.99

00:09:08.000 Yeah, that's what's great about podcasts.

00:09:12.000 And ironically enough, podcasts probably inspire the most hate tweets ever. 1.00

00:09:18.000 Because people aren't in this room, and then they're hearing some of the things you say, or I say, or one of the guests says, and they're like, no, fuck you! 1.00

00:09:26.000 And they tweet it. 0.99

00:09:28.000 If you don't read it, it doesn't affect you.

00:09:31.000 Yeah. 0.71

00:09:31.000 But also, another reason I love this show is I always just, I always wondered, like, when I would watch a late night show, I'd be like, why the fuck do I care about what Gail Gadot has to say about anything? 0.71

00:09:44.000 Gal, it's Gal. 0.99

00:09:44.000 I don't even fuck, you know. 0.99

00:09:45.000 She's Wonder Woman. 1.00

00:09:46.000 She's hot, yeah, but I mean, like, she's an actress. 1.00

00:09:49.000 Yes.

00:09:49.000 What interesting thing could she say besides me looking at her...

00:09:53.000 Wanting her, the same reason why she's famous, you know, like I'd rather hear from an astrophysicist or a fucking astronaut or, you know, Elon Musk. 0.93

00:10:01.000 I mean, it's the only show that has me on and Elon Musk. 0.56

00:10:05.000 I was talking to Jamie, I was like, you're probably getting like calls from big publicists like, hey, we want to have Matt Damon on.

00:10:09.000 You're like, no, we got to have this small, crazy comedian from New York.

00:10:12.000 I would have Matt Damon on.

00:10:13.000 I like Matt Damon a lot.

00:10:14.000 Yeah, he's a cool dude.

00:10:14.000 I like him a lot.

00:10:15.000 But he's an interesting guy that happens to be an actor.

00:10:18.000 I had Matthew McConaughey on.

00:10:19.000 He's one of the most interesting people I talked to.

00:10:21.000 Yeah.

00:10:21.000 He's a fascinating guy who happens to be an actor.

00:10:23.000 There's a lot of people that happen to be actors, and maybe Gal Gadot is one of them.

00:10:28.000 I don't know.

00:10:28.000 I don't think so, but I might be wrong.

00:10:31.000 We shit on her hard, me and Tom Segura, when they released that Imagine video. 0.97

00:10:35.000 Oh, that was the best. 0.99

00:10:36.000 I felt bad.

00:10:37.000 We went hard.

00:10:39.000 Nobody cares about America more than actors in Hollywood.

00:10:43.000 They're such patriots, don't they?

00:10:45.000 Well, you know what it was we were talking about?

00:10:46.000 It's like they just didn't have any attention for a long time because of COVID. Everything was locked down.

00:10:51.000 There was no movies.

00:10:52.000 There was no interviews.

00:10:53.000 So they needed something to get their name out there.

00:10:55.000 So they attached themselves to that.

00:10:57.000 And then there was another one that they did, the black and white one where they were talking about race.

00:11:01.000 Yeah, that was a good one. 1.00

00:11:02.000 That was the dumbest one ever. 1.00

00:11:03.000 I will no longer tolerate it. 1.00

00:11:05.000 It's like, what are you tolerating now?

00:11:07.000 Yeah.

00:11:09.000 What was happening in your life before that you were just letting slide?

00:11:13.000 What were you doing?

00:11:14.000 How bad were you being?

00:11:15.000 I love how they made it black and white.

00:11:16.000 I would love to be there during that medium where they watched it and they were like, no, no, no, it's not earnest enough.

00:11:21.000 It's probably Stanley Tucci.

00:11:22.000 We have to make this black and white.

00:11:23.000 It's got to be black and white.

00:11:24.000 You've got to make it look indie.

00:11:25.000 Low budget. 0.97

00:11:26.000 The problem is when a really good actor that you really respect and enjoy does that, anytime you see them in the future, you're going to think about that video and you're going to go like, you silly person. 1.00

00:11:35.000 You are silly. 1.00

00:11:37.000 You're a silly goose. 1.00

00:11:38.000 Speaking of silly gooses, we're talking about Tim Dillon and his battle with Airbnb. 1.00

00:11:42.000 So, Tim Dillon, who does a lot of renting with Airbnb, apparently left some dishes. 0.95

00:11:49.000 That's it.

00:11:49.000 Just left some dirty dishes.

00:11:51.000 That's his side of the story.

00:11:53.000 We don't know what he was coming on, who he had over, yeah.

00:11:56.000 Good point.

00:11:56.000 Yeah.

00:11:57.000 I don't think that was the complaint, though.

00:11:59.000 No, I'm just saying.

00:12:00.000 The real issue was not even just that, that he left dishes behind, which you shouldn't.

00:12:05.000 You're supposed to clean the dishes.

00:12:06.000 That's on Tim. 0.85

00:12:08.000 But then afterwards, he did a long podcast where I believe he said their names and made reference to their sexual orientation, which he's allowed to do being a gay man. 0.86

00:12:19.000 He's a gay guy.

00:12:19.000 But he doesn't seem like a gay guy.

00:12:21.000 Yes, no.

00:12:22.000 So it throws a lot of people off. 0.98

00:12:23.000 He kind of comes off as like he was molested gay. 0.98

00:12:26.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:12:27.000 He was straight and then they got to him. 1.00

00:12:29.000 He comes off as a fucking Republican from Long Island. 1.00

00:12:31.000 That's what he comes off as. 1.00

00:12:33.000 Yeah.

00:12:33.000 He is that.

00:12:37.000 I don't know.

00:12:38.000 He's down the middle.

00:12:39.000 He just is this true comedian and he goes after everybody. 0.97

00:12:41.000 But he'll tell you when he was younger, he would be sitting in his car listening to Rush Lomba like, fucking, yeah, we got to honor our contract with the people of Iraq. 0.97

00:12:51.000 He'll tell you that. 0.98

00:12:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:12:54.000 Long Island, my wife is from Long Island.

00:12:56.000 I mean, you know, everyone of her family, they're all Trump.

00:12:59.000 I mean, Long Island's its own country.

00:13:01.000 It is. 1.00

00:13:01.000 It's nine million people back there in like Brooklyn's ass. 1.00

00:13:05.000 And it's like they're their own country. 0.99

00:13:07.000 They don't go anywhere else.

00:13:08.000 They don't leave.

00:13:08.000 They watch a TV and they just, yeah, they don't even watch Fox now.

00:13:11.000 That's like CNN. That's like, they like George Soros bought that.

00:13:14.000 We're watching this QAnon network now.

00:13:17.000 The OAN network.

00:13:18.000 Dude, New York is closed down.

00:13:20.000 Like, New York's closed down. 0.99

00:13:21.000 Fucking Long Island is wide open. 0.99

00:13:22.000 Is it really? 0.99

00:13:23.000 Why?

00:13:23.000 You could go to a restaurant where people aren't wearing masks.

00:13:26.000 It's nuts.

00:13:26.000 Are they allowed to?

00:13:27.000 Or are they just doing it under the radar? 1.00

00:13:29.000 I think Long Island just kind of goes like, fuck you, you know? 1.00

00:13:32.000 Fucking Long Island. 1.00

00:13:32.000 Yeah, we're going out. 1.00

00:13:33.000 Fucking Long Island. 0.99

00:13:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:13:35.000 Really? 1.00

00:13:35.000 Fucking these cucks. 1.00

00:13:36.000 Interesting. 1.00

00:13:37.000 Interesting.

00:13:38.000 Yeah, I always enjoyed working on Long Island and then in the 80s, or I guess it was the 90s actually when I came to New York, there was this weird sort of superiority complex that people had about New York City.

00:13:50.000 Like you either worked the city or you were a hack.

00:13:53.000 And I was always like, God damn, I guess I'm a hack, because I need to do the road. 0.95

00:13:57.000 That's where you make money. 0.98

00:13:59.000 I would work the city, and I would do gigs in the city, and I'd make like $15 for a 15-minute set. 0.99

00:14:04.000 And I was like, okay, how many of these do I have to do to pay my fucking rent?

00:14:08.000 I don't remember if it was $15, but I remember Dangerfields was slightly more, so I did Dangerfields. 0.91

00:14:12.000 But when you did Dangerfields, they didn't count it.

00:14:14.000 Like, that's not really the city.

00:14:16.000 That's right! 1.00

00:14:17.000 It's in the fucking city! 1.00

00:14:18.000 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:14:19.000 It was the city in 1977. They should put that in the address.

00:14:23.000 Like, we're on First Avenue in 1983. Great club, though.

00:14:28.000 It's closed, unfortunately, but...

00:14:30.000 It went under from COVID? It went under, yeah.

00:14:33.000 Are they planning on reopening?

00:14:34.000 I heard they were.

00:14:35.000 I hope so.

00:14:36.000 I hope so.

00:14:37.000 You know, it was a great place, but, you know, yeah, when you go to work, Dangerfields, they would, like, you'd have to...

00:14:41.000 You know, because, yeah, like you said, in New York, you're running around doing sets.

00:14:44.000 And, like, lately, when I would go there, like, once in the blue moon, or you're like, let me just fill this spot, they would pay you in check.

00:14:50.000 So you'd have to wait, but they would write it.

00:14:53.000 They wouldn't have it for you.

00:14:54.000 So you do your set, and then you're just waiting for your check by the bar, and you've got to run to another set, and you're just waiting for the check-in.

00:15:01.000 There's a few times I was just like, you know what? 0.99

00:15:03.000 Fucking keep the $25. 0.99

00:15:05.000 I would do Dangerfields just for their cheeseburgers. 1.00

00:15:08.000 They had the best fucking cheeseburgers. 0.99

00:15:10.000 They would have like ground steak cheeseburgers. 1.00

00:15:14.000 I mean, they were phenomenal.

00:15:16.000 They were so good.

00:15:17.000 It was like literally the best cheeseburger in New York City was at Dangerfields, at least in the 90s.

00:15:21.000 Yeah, not anymore.

00:15:22.000 I don't even think they have a kitchen anymore.

00:15:24.000 I don't think they were doing food for a while, yeah.

00:15:26.000 Oh, the burgers were so good.

00:15:28.000 Yeah.

00:15:28.000 Like, everyone knew.

00:15:29.000 Wow.

00:15:30.000 Everyone knew.

00:15:30.000 You go to Dangerfield's, get a cheeseburger.

00:15:32.000 Yeah.

00:15:32.000 Did you ever, you know, Charo, the waiter, he was a Greek guy from Cyprus?

00:15:37.000 He was still there?

00:15:38.000 He died.

00:15:39.000 I think he died just recently.

00:15:40.000 But he's still there.

00:15:41.000 He was still there till before COVID. He's a guy, he always comes over to you and just tells you the most racist joke.

00:15:57.000 Did you ever meet Scotty?

00:16:00.000 Scotty was the power lifter guy who was the doorman?

00:16:04.000 Not there anymore, yeah.

00:16:05.000 Scotty used to make his own weights.

00:16:07.000 He used to fill like a bucket, like one of these, you know, those big white plastic buckets, fill it up with cement.

00:16:15.000 And he would lift them.

00:16:16.000 Wow.

00:16:17.000 He would put like a pole in between them and do like, he was a tank of a man. 0.57

00:16:20.000 Yeah.

00:16:21.000 I remember one time during like some extra rowdy show, might have been one of those prom shows, I'm not really sure, but I remember he picked a guy up by his neck.

00:16:30.000 He grabbed the guy, grabbed him by the back of the neck, and put a hand on his belt buckle, or on his belt, rather, and hoisted him in the air, and was carrying the guy out, and the guy was like, Jesus!

00:16:42.000 Yeah, I mean, he had, like, real work strength.

00:16:44.000 Yeah, he was built like a barrel.

00:16:46.000 Like, he wasn't built like a bodybuilder. 1.00

00:16:48.000 He was like a barrel, and he would always shit on you, no matter how, but in a fun way. 1.00

00:16:53.000 Like, no matter how good your set was, he goes, oh, you tricked him again with that fucking shite act of yours. 1.00

00:16:59.000 He would always keep you in check. 1.00

00:17:01.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:17:01.000 Good guy.

00:17:02.000 I really missed that kind of shit on you humor when I came to LA. Where LA, everyone was like extra nice to you for no reason. 0.99

00:17:13.000 They were like fake nice. 0.99

00:17:14.000 And in New York, they would shit on you. 0.99

00:17:16.000 It was like a fun thing. 1.00

00:17:19.000 They would shit on you with a smile. 0.99

00:17:20.000 And you felt good about it. 1.00

00:17:22.000 It was a warm shit. 1.00

00:17:23.000 And comics would do it ruthlessly to each other. 1.00

00:17:26.000 When I came to LA, no one was doing that.

00:17:28.000 Yeah.

00:17:29.000 It's a weird thing when you're from New York.

00:17:31.000 That's how you communicate with your friends, kind of.

00:17:34.000 Yes!

00:17:34.000 You grow up.

00:17:35.000 I mean, Boston takes it to another level where it's like, the ball breaking is like...

00:17:39.000 They get a little too mean.

00:17:40.000 They go, mean, yeah.

00:17:41.000 I mean, I did Laugh Boston once.

00:17:44.000 This guy came up to me afterwards and he was like, the first thing he said to me was that I needed to change my outfit.

00:17:49.000 And he was like, you dress too good for here. 0.99

00:17:51.000 Yeah, he was like, yeah, you know, fucking you sneak it. 1.00

00:17:54.000 He was just a critique. 1.00

00:17:56.000 They're just aggressive.

00:17:58.000 They're a little too aggressive.

00:17:59.000 They're a little too aggressive, yeah.

00:18:00.000 Well, it was one of the rare places where people would still have street fights every night.

00:18:03.000 And they wouldn't pull weapons.

00:18:05.000 Like, I remember when we were in Faneuil Hall, when the Comedy Connection was in Faneuil Hall, I went there with Chris McGuire.

00:18:11.000 And we went to McDonald's afterwards. 0.94

00:18:13.000 We were walking across the street and we saw a fucking giant brawl happen right in front of McDonald's. 0.96

00:18:17.000 And Chris and I were like, you know, there's something cool about this place. 0.98

00:18:20.000 It's the last place where people actually fight.

00:18:22.000 They're not shooting each other.

00:18:24.000 They're not stabbing each other.

00:18:25.000 They just agree.

00:18:26.000 They just agree to fisticuffs. 0.99

00:18:27.000 Yeah, there's something nice about that.

00:18:30.000 That's like Manchester, like in England.

00:18:33.000 Do you ever go to Manchester?

00:18:33.000 Oh, yes!

00:18:34.000 I mean, they just fight.

00:18:36.000 They look for fights.

00:18:37.000 That's where Michael Bisping's from, I believe.

00:18:39.000 I believe he's from Manchester. 1.00

00:18:40.000 Yeah, that's a fucking fist of cups town. 0.99

00:18:41.000 And then there's like, those guys just can't handle their liquor. 0.99

00:18:44.000 Like nighttime, there's just piles of vomit everywhere.

00:18:46.000 You gotta like avoid them like a speed skater.

00:18:48.000 Like...

00:18:49.000 They just love to fight and drink, yeah. 0.88

00:18:51.000 Yeah, England's an interesting place.

00:18:53.000 It's a fun place to do stand-up.

00:18:54.000 They really love stand-up.

00:18:56.000 Yeah.

00:18:56.000 It's interesting because they are brawlers in a lot of ways, but they're also polite.

00:19:02.000 American stand-up never really...

00:19:05.000 It happened in England the same way.

00:19:07.000 Their stand-up style is very different.

00:19:10.000 It's more like performance.

00:19:13.000 You look at their history, they have a deeper appreciation for live performance than we do because they go back to the land of Shakespeare, Chaucer.

00:19:23.000 And that's why actors, when they make those videos, I yearn for the days where you just We worship the writer.

00:19:31.000 What do you do?

00:19:32.000 You're reading his lines?

00:19:34.000 And I'm worshiping you because your face is nice?

00:19:36.000 Well, there's levels to it, right?

00:19:38.000 There's a Daniel Day-Lewis level.

00:19:40.000 He's on it alone.

00:19:41.000 You could actually probably call it the Daniel Day-Lewis level, like Michael Jordan of, the Daniel Day-Lewis of.

00:19:47.000 Love that.

00:19:47.000 He goes to make shoes in Italy when he's off.

00:19:49.000 Well, that's what he's doing now only.

00:19:51.000 Yeah.

00:19:52.000 He's a cobbler, I believe.

00:19:53.000 I believe he's completely retired from acting.

00:19:55.000 Wow.

00:19:55.000 Which is so strange.

00:19:57.000 Yeah.

00:19:57.000 But when you watch There Will Be Blood, who can do that?

00:20:01.000 Just Daniel Davis.

00:20:02.000 There's one or two other people out there.

00:20:04.000 Christian Bale's capable of it.

00:20:06.000 He can hit some crazy highs. 0.97

00:20:07.000 And he's one of those guys that fucks his body up, too. 0.98

00:20:10.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:20:10.000 He took years off of his life for a terrible movie. 0.98

00:20:13.000 Yeah.

00:20:15.000 The Machinist?

00:20:15.000 The Machinist, yeah.

00:20:16.000 It was a terrible movie.

00:20:17.000 Yeah.

00:20:17.000 And the guy almost died.

00:20:18.000 Yeah.

00:20:19.000 Like, his main focus was almost dying.

00:20:21.000 Yeah.

00:20:22.000 So he could fit the part of a guy with severe insomnia that never slept and never ate.

00:20:27.000 Yeah.

00:20:27.000 I mean, he's dedicated.

00:20:29.000 He's an artist.

00:20:30.000 Gary Oldman, another one.

00:20:31.000 Another one, yeah.

00:20:32.000 He doesn't get the credit he deserves, but like...

00:20:34.000 Well, because he did some whack movies later.

00:20:36.000 I think after a while he's like, I'm tired of this.

00:20:38.000 I'm just going to do some whack movies.

00:20:39.000 Yeah.

00:20:40.000 Like, you remember when, you know who did that?

00:20:42.000 De Niro. 0.98

00:20:43.000 De Niro did some stupid, like, he did a Narnia movie where, like, it was with him and, was it Sharon Stone in him? 1.00

00:20:51.000 They were in some terrible fantasy movie. 0.99

00:20:55.000 I forget what movie it was, but I'm like, oh, De Niro is just getting paid.

00:20:59.000 And then later on, before he got divorced, he was in an argument in a restaurant.

00:21:03.000 It was a very public spat with his wife. 1.00

00:21:06.000 And he said, well, if you didn't spend all my fucking money, I wouldn't have to do these shit movies. 1.00

00:21:16.000 Yeah, I love what you hear about those because, you know, he's got to live his whole life being De Niro. 1.00

00:21:21.000 Like when he's out, he knows people are looking.

00:21:23.000 He's always got to be in control.

00:21:25.000 And if anyone's going to set him off where he's going to have a moment that's not, you know, it's not kind of controlled by PR, it's like your wife, you know?

00:21:33.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:21:35.000 Especially if she really is spending all of his money forcing him to do these shit movies. 1.00

00:21:40.000 Dude, yeah. 0.99

00:21:41.000 If I'm going to divorce my wife, I don't know where my career is going.

00:21:44.000 It's probably going nowhere.

00:21:45.000 I don't know.

00:21:45.000 But I think about it.

00:21:46.000 If this gets bigger, I should divorce her now. 0.61

00:21:49.000 When we get in an argument, I threaten divorce all the time.

00:21:52.000 Do you really?

00:21:53.000 I go right to it.

00:21:54.000 I'm a hardliner.

00:21:55.000 I'll be like, look, I could leave.

00:21:58.000 But then, like, if things start going good, you gotta start thinking about that, like, strategically.

00:22:02.000 Yeah, you gotta be careful with that kind of, like, elevation.

00:22:05.000 Because you do that because you're comfortable with each other.

00:22:07.000 I don't do that with my wife. 0.99

00:22:09.000 We don't get in those kind of conversations.

00:22:11.000 Well, that's because you're a better person than me.

00:22:12.000 Yeah, I'm trying.

00:22:13.000 I'm working on it.

00:22:14.000 No, I'm just worried the dark part is gonna come out.

00:22:18.000 I don't, like, if you start, like...

00:22:21.000 If you start arguing and getting mean with each other, the problem is they're going to get mean with you, and then it's going to escalate, and where's it going to go?

00:22:28.000 Well, I'm a burn-it-all-to-the-ground guy.

00:22:33.000 Me too, yeah.

00:22:33.000 I can't...

00:22:34.000 You follow me on Twitter, so you know about this.

00:22:36.000 I don't want to go there with my wife.

00:22:38.000 I'm never going to go there with her.

00:22:40.000 I won't go.

00:22:40.000 Even if she ever divorces me, I will be nice to her until the day I die.

00:22:43.000 It's the way to go.

00:22:44.000 And I'm getting better.

00:22:45.000 Like, now that I have a baby, it's like...

00:22:47.000 Yeah, that's the thing, man.

00:22:49.000 Well, the thing is the babies, right?

00:22:51.000 And that's the thing is, like, you know...

00:22:54.000 Like...

00:22:55.000 I was never really into the idea of marriage.

00:22:59.000 Relationships are great, but if you boil down marriage logically, my problem was it's really a contract with the state.

00:23:06.000 It's a legal contract with some people that you don't know, and they're going to come in and...

00:23:11.000 And they're going to decide who's right and who's wrong.

00:23:15.000 You're going to get some strangers that are going to decide where your money gets split up or how things go.

00:23:22.000 And then you're going to bring in lawyers and they're going to take a piece of the pie. 0.50

00:23:25.000 And it's their business to extract money.

00:23:27.000 And I have very close friends that have been through horrendous divorces.

00:23:31.000 One of them who is still paying his ex-wife 14 years after he's been...

00:23:37.000 They don't have kids.

00:23:38.000 He deserved it.

00:23:39.000 He's a man.

00:23:40.000 Yeah.

00:23:40.000 Is he white?

00:23:40.000 Yeah, he's white.

00:23:41.000 He deserves it.

00:23:42.000 Yes, and he's rich.

00:23:42.000 So he really deserves it.

00:23:44.000 He's been married to a new woman for 12 years.

00:23:48.000 So he's literally been divorced longer than he was married.

00:23:52.000 And he's still paying alimony to a woman that... 1.00

00:23:55.000 What did he fuck her so hard she can't work? 1.00

00:23:57.000 Like, what happened? 1.00

00:23:59.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:24:00.000 He slammed into her vagina so hard it broke something, and she's no longer capable of supporting herself. 0.99

00:24:07.000 He pays her hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, and she does nothing. 0.99

00:24:10.000 So I've seen all the madness and the nonsense, but all that, for me, went out the window with the idea of children, because I'm like, okay, look.

00:24:19.000 The commitment of money is a lot, but the commitment of life is far greater.

00:24:25.000 So I'm like, whatever you want.

00:24:26.000 You want to get married?

00:24:27.000 I'm 100% in.

00:24:28.000 I'm in.

00:24:29.000 I'm in.

00:24:29.000 I'm all in.

00:24:30.000 I'm committed.

00:24:31.000 Let's do it.

00:24:32.000 But I don't go dark.

00:24:34.000 I won't go dark.

00:24:36.000 I don't allow myself.

00:24:37.000 Well, I mean, you're a weapon, so you can't go dark, yeah.

00:24:40.000 But I won't go dark with my friends either.

00:24:42.000 I won't go dark.

00:24:44.000 Does anyone really push you to go dark, though?

00:24:47.000 Well, they could if you escalated.

00:24:50.000 If my friends get shitty with me, I'll tell them I love them, and I'll just go, come on, man. 0.71

00:24:56.000 What are we doing? 0.79

00:24:57.000 I'm not going dark with my friends.

00:24:59.000 That's what I love about...

00:25:01.000 And I realized that when I was doing...

00:25:02.000 I had a sports show for a little while on AOL called Two Point Lead, and we would interview...

00:25:07.000 AOL? It was AOL, yeah.

00:25:08.000 I still got an AOL email address, too.

00:25:10.000 Do you really?

00:25:11.000 Because I'm good at marketing, yeah.

00:25:12.000 What year was this?

00:25:15.000 This was recent.

00:25:16.000 It was 2015. They had a lot of money before they got bought by Verizon.

00:25:25.000 So they were owned by Time Warner and this was like their big push.

00:25:29.000 They did a lot of programming.

00:25:30.000 They did a show with Steve Buscemi.

00:25:32.000 When we did the new fronts, we had Gronk come on.

00:25:34.000 We paid him like a hundred grand.

00:25:35.000 I did a skit with him.

00:25:36.000 Steve Buscemi had a show on AOL? Yeah.

00:25:38.000 What was he doing?

00:25:39.000 He was sitting on a bench interviewing people.

00:25:41.000 Outside?

00:25:41.000 Outside.

00:25:42.000 In a park?

00:25:42.000 In a park, yeah.

00:25:44.000 So he was one of the shows.

00:25:45.000 And we were getting like major athletes, like major athletes.

00:25:48.000 And I remember I interviewed Chris Weidman.

00:25:53.000 And he was fighting...

00:25:57.000 He wasn't fighting the other guy.

00:25:59.000 Anderson Silva?

00:26:00.000 No.

00:26:00.000 Lioto Machida?

00:26:01.000 I can't remember who he was.

00:26:02.000 Luke Rockhold?

00:26:03.000 It might have been when he was fighting Luke Rockhold.

00:26:05.000 I can't remember.

00:26:06.000 What year?

00:26:07.000 This was about 2015. Was he the champ?

00:26:10.000 He was the champ.

00:26:12.000 So the odds are it's either Vitor, Lioto Machida.

00:26:15.000 Vitor.

00:26:15.000 It was Vitor.

00:26:16.000 He was fighting Vitor.

00:26:17.000 And it was the first time I'd like sat down with like You know, guys who are trained fighters.

00:26:23.000 And the calm, it's just like a calm and a peace that, like, I was trying to put my finger on, like, what is that calm?

00:26:30.000 And then I realized, like, if, like, I'm in, I get insecure, you know, but, you know, I'm, like, got nervousness. 0.95

00:26:35.000 And a lot of that is because I, always in a situation, know there's a probability that I could get fucked up. 0.97

00:26:42.000 Or if I walked around and I knew that 99.7% of the people I could fuck up, I'd be calm. 0.99

00:26:48.000 Well, Chris Weidman is calm like I would be calm if I was hanging out with 10-year-old girls and they were trying to tell me how the world works. 0.97

00:26:55.000 And I'd be like, that's cute.

00:26:57.000 Let me tell you how the world really works.

00:26:59.000 Yeah, it's like that, yeah.

00:27:01.000 Especially when he was the champ.

00:27:03.000 I mean, when he was the champ, first of all, when Chris Weidman was coming up...

00:27:07.000 The limitations of Chris Weidman legitimately are the limitations of the human body because his body started to break.

00:27:15.000 He had knee problems and neck problems and back problems, but the limitations of his mind were limitless.

00:27:21.000 There's a lot of these guys, and a lot of them are wrestlers. 0.94

00:27:24.000 Because I think wrestlers have the strongest brains, the strongest minds, the strongest determination, because that sport is so fucking brutal.

00:27:31.000 But these great wrestlers who get into fighting, like Chris Weidman, and Cain Velasquez was another one. 0.56

00:27:37.000 The limitations of Cain Velasquez were the limitations of his body.

00:27:40.000 Because he started getting shoulder surgery, and back surgery, and knee surgery, and then it all started falling apart. 0.99

00:27:46.000 But when he was at his peak, Chris Weidman was a motherfucker, man. 0.99

00:27:52.000 Strong. 1.00

00:27:54.000 The mind, too.

00:27:55.000 It's not just the body.

00:27:57.000 His body was surely strong, but his mind was just unbreakable.

00:28:00.000 He would break guys.

00:28:02.000 And Kane was the same way.

00:28:04.000 Kane was a guy who broke guys.

00:28:06.000 He would break them.

00:28:06.000 Because I really firmly believe this to this day, that wrestlers, because there's no...

00:28:11.000 I had Jordan Burroughs on the other day.

00:28:13.000 Mm-hmm.

00:28:13.000 He's a wrestler, right?

00:28:14.000 Olympic gold medalist, four-time world champion, stud of a human being.

00:28:18.000 And when you talk to him, you realize he's just so exceptional in every way.

00:28:23.000 And one of the reasons why he's so exceptional is because wrestling has no glory.

00:28:27.000 The people that get into wrestling, they do it because it's the pursuit.

00:28:31.000 It's not... 0.94

00:28:33.000 It's not like a Bentley and a mansion and watches and rings and all that bullshit. 0.90

00:28:38.000 The glory is in victory. 0.89

00:28:41.000 It's in the pursuit.

00:28:42.000 And also in victory in the most difficult of circumstances, which is like amateur, high-level, world-class wrestling. 0.98

00:28:51.000 It's so fucking hard.

00:28:52.000 So the guys like Chris Weidman, the guys like Jordan Burroughs, the guys like King Velasquez, guys who excel in wrestling, there's a mindset that they have that's so interesting to be around them because they are that calm. 0.97

00:29:06.000 They have that.

00:29:08.000 There's a level that they've reached that very few human beings outside of wrestlers ever reach.

00:29:14.000 That's fascinating.

00:29:14.000 Do you think that's changing now because they do have an outlet with MMA, which is great, like they can go pro and become Some of them, but Jordan Burroughs doesn't have any interest in fighting.

00:29:26.000 Especially his wife doesn't want him to fight. 0.73

00:29:28.000 He does make good money wrestling, just as an ambassador to wrestling.

00:29:32.000 I don't think they fall into the same pitfalls that a lot of the other fighters fall into. 0.96

00:29:40.000 A lot of them, they get into fame and glory and all that shit.

00:29:45.000 Weidman never really got into that. 0.98

00:29:47.000 He was just into smashing people.

00:29:49.000 Smashing, yeah.

00:29:50.000 Khabib, yeah.

00:29:51.000 Just smashing people.

00:29:51.000 Like Khabib.

00:29:52.000 I'm gonna smash your boy. 0.99

00:29:53.000 He's the perfect example. 0.99

00:29:55.000 Khabib's the perfect example. 0.99

00:29:56.000 The guy drives a Toyota, okay? 0.99

00:29:58.000 He's worth fucking millions of dollars. 0.98

00:30:00.000 He's the most dominant fighter in any weight class in the history of the sport, and he is as calm and as humble as can be while also being incredibly confident. 0.99

00:30:08.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:30:09.000 And super religious.

00:30:11.000 Yeah.

00:30:11.000 Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't party, doesn't do anything.

00:30:14.000 He's just dedicated to smashing people. 0.99

00:30:17.000 I'm gonna smash your boy. 1.00

00:30:18.000 Right, I'm gonna smash your boy. 0.99

00:30:20.000 When he said that? 0.98

00:30:21.000 Alhamdulillah. 0.99

00:30:23.000 I'm gonna smash your boy. 0.97

00:30:24.000 Somebody said to me, that's like Samuel Jackson in Pulp Fiction. 1.00

00:30:26.000 You're like, ah, fuck. 1.00

00:30:27.000 It's greater because it's not fake. 1.00

00:30:29.000 Right.

00:30:29.000 And he did it.

00:30:30.000 Yeah, he did it.

00:30:31.000 And he did smash him.

00:30:31.000 And you know what the best, the scariest thing that he ever said?

00:30:34.000 He goes, I want to change his face.

00:30:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:30:37.000 I want to change his face.

00:30:39.000 Yeah.

00:30:40.000 How much is the mental battle?

00:30:42.000 Did like Conor, when he fought Conor, it was like...

00:30:44.000 Opposites going against each other, like that ultra-humility versus that absolute boastful...

00:30:51.000 Do you think Conor knew before?

00:30:53.000 No, he thought he was going to win.

00:30:56.000 He won a round with Khabib.

00:30:58.000 He won the third round, and that's probably the only round that Khabib lost in his entire career.

00:31:02.000 There's an argument that maybe he lost one or two rounds earlier that are real close.

00:31:06.000 But, I mean, he's 29-0.

00:31:09.000 You have to understand how insane that is.

00:31:10.000 And then you have to understand the weight class he's in.

00:31:12.000 He's in the 155-pound weight class, which is arguably the most competitive in the history of the sport.

00:31:17.000 The arguments are like 45, 55, and maybe 70 are the most competitive weight classes ever.

00:31:25.000 And he's the most dominant guy ever in the most competitive weight class.

00:31:30.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:31:31.000 I mean, he's a monster. 0.99

00:31:32.000 He's a beast, man. 0.78

00:31:33.000 You're in that weight class and you know you gotta fight him, you're like...

00:31:35.000 You question everything about yourself.

00:31:38.000 Yeah.

00:31:38.000 Do you think wrestlers to that level have an advantage in MMA? Because you're just eventually gonna get your hands on a guy?

00:31:45.000 Yeah, well, that's what he has an advantage in.

00:31:47.000 I mean, when he wrestles guys, when he grabs them, you can see the look in their face.

00:31:52.000 Like, oh my god, this is different.

00:31:53.000 It's like an anaconda got you.

00:31:54.000 Just different. 1.00

00:31:55.000 Well, look at his last guy that he fought is Justin Gaethje, who's a fucking killer, right? 0.99

00:31:59.000 Smashes Tony Ferguson, smashes Edson Barbosa. 1.00

00:32:03.000 I mean, he's a fucking beast. 1.00

00:32:04.000 And a really good wrestler, too. 0.99

00:32:06.000 But when Khabib got a hold of him, every time just drags him to the ground and almost submitted him at the end of the first round and then submitted him in the second round.

00:32:13.000 Well, he said he didn't want to hurt him.

00:32:16.000 Do you think that was true?

00:32:18.000 Yeah.

00:32:18.000 He said, like, I didn't want to do it that way because his parents were there.

00:32:21.000 Well, not just that. 1.00

00:32:21.000 I mean, that's some fucking ill shit to say. 1.00

00:32:23.000 Like, I'll just wait till next round, do it a little softer. 1.00

00:32:25.000 Well, they were friends.

00:32:27.000 Justin actually, they have the same manager.

00:32:29.000 And Justin actually helped him cut weight earlier in his career.

00:32:32.000 Because cutting weight is, I don't know if you ever spent some time in the sauna.

00:32:36.000 I have.

00:32:37.000 I did some shows in Sweden, yeah.

00:32:38.000 Yeah, there's a moment in the sauna that comes around like minute 13, 14, especially if it's like a hot sauna.

00:32:47.000 It's like minute 3 for me, yeah. 1.00

00:32:47.000 When you start looking around, you look at your wash, you go like, fuck. 1.00

00:32:51.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:32:54.000 We're good to go. 1.00

00:33:14.000 Even a man like him will use encouragement from other people and use support and love and friendship from other people.

00:33:21.000 And Justin helped him cut weight.

00:33:23.000 And I think they had a bond because of that.

00:33:26.000 So when he fought Conor, he wanted to change his face.

00:33:29.000 He wanted to smash. 0.98

00:33:30.000 I wanted to smash your boy! 0.97

00:33:32.000 With Keiji, he's just like, I'm going to beat him, and I'm going to beat him the way I would beat a friend. 0.99

00:33:37.000 It's like you're beating up your brother. 0.70

00:33:39.000 You go like, I'm going to hurt you, but not, you're my brother.

00:33:42.000 So it's like, I'm going to do it so you can...

00:33:44.000 He went to submissions faster than he has in any other fight he's ever had.

00:33:48.000 God, he's that good.

00:33:49.000 He's that good.

00:33:49.000 He almost caught...

00:33:50.000 He fought with a broken toe, too, by the way.

00:33:52.000 Wow.

00:33:52.000 Snapped.

00:33:53.000 They showed an x-ray of his toe after the fight.

00:33:56.000 He broke his toe in training.

00:33:58.000 And a lot of guys would have pulled out of that fight.

00:34:00.000 If you look at the fight, I watched it yesterday, actually, while I was working out.

00:34:03.000 He had his toes taped together.

00:34:05.000 That's it.

00:34:06.000 That's the brace.

00:34:07.000 That's the cast.

00:34:08.000 A little piece of tape connecting his toes together.

00:34:10.000 Because when you break your toe, that's all you can do, right?

00:34:12.000 Is really just tape it up?

00:34:13.000 He's an extraordinary human being.

00:34:15.000 And it's his mind. 1.00

00:34:17.000 I mean, his body, obviously, is ridiculous, too. 1.00

00:34:20.000 But his body is ridiculous because of his mind. 0.99

00:34:23.000 And he just comes from a place that like, what did Joe DiMaggio say? 0.99

00:34:29.000 Rich guys can't make the big leagues.

00:34:31.000 He comes from a place that probably getting in the octagon is the easiest thing he's done in his entire life.

00:34:37.000 I mean, there's videos of him as a kid wrestling bears.

00:34:42.000 If you've got to get in the ring with him, you're going like, how can I grapple better than a bear?

00:34:47.000 Well, it's also Dagestan in particular.

00:34:50.000 It's like there's so many good fighters, I mean great fighters that have come from this one region of the world. 0.95

00:34:56.000 Dagestan is just filled with killers.

00:34:58.000 Yeah, there's that other guy now who's just like smashing people too. 0.98

00:35:01.000 Zabit, yeah, Magomed Sharapov, he's smashing people.

00:35:05.000 Islam Makachev is smashing people. 1.00

00:35:07.000 He's from Dagestan.

00:35:08.000 There's a lot of great guys from Dagestan.

00:35:10.000 I mean, there's so many of them.

00:35:12.000 Like, we get these new guys all the time where I'm doing commentary and I look at this guy and his name and I'm like, where's, oh, Dagestan, there you go.

00:35:18.000 Right. 0.96

00:35:18.000 And you see him and he's a murderer. 0.96

00:35:19.000 Yeah. 0.92

00:35:20.000 Just assassins.

00:35:21.000 Is that because, like, wrestling was huge over there and then they...

00:35:24.000 Wrestling's huge over there and also just the mentality.

00:35:27.000 You know, they play a game of basketball where you don't dribble the ball, you wrestle and they submit each other.

00:35:32.000 Jail rules.

00:35:32.000 They literally, yeah, they hold on to the ball and they try to steal it from each other, they tackle each other, they submit each other.

00:35:38.000 It's the craziest fucking game. 0.99

00:35:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:35:41.000 Yeah, those guys are going to rise to the top in fighting. 0.83

00:35:44.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:35:44.000 That's where they took a sport and they turned it into a fight.

00:35:47.000 Yeah, they're like, too easy with the dribble.

00:35:49.000 Yeah, let's play tennis, but instead of the ball, we hit this guy over the net.

00:35:53.000 Yeah, it's like rugby with arm bars.

00:35:56.000 It's crazy.

00:35:57.000 My friend Will Harris, he goes over there and films Khabib and his camp during the whole thing.

00:36:05.000 I saw that and he said, nobody's going to beat Khabib.

00:36:08.000 I saw an interview with him and he goes, you got to see where he's from, man.

00:36:13.000 Nobody's going to beat him.

00:36:14.000 Yeah, it's different.

00:36:16.000 It's different.

00:36:17.000 You know, it's like comfort is not a fighter's friend.

00:36:20.000 It's just not.

00:36:21.000 No, you know, you're going up against Luke Rockhall, he's like, yeah, you know, he's cocky, he's got a good kick, but then he's like, I gotta go model for...

00:36:28.000 Ralph Lauren after this, and Khabib's like, yeah, man, I gotta go wrestle a bear and climb a cliff. 0.83

00:36:34.000 Well, Luke is a rare guy that, even though he is beautiful, was a handsome guy.

00:36:40.000 Handsome.

00:36:40.000 He beat Weidman.

00:36:41.000 Yeah, he did.

00:36:42.000 Smashed him, too.

00:36:43.000 And he beat Weidman when Weidman was in his prime.

00:36:45.000 Right.

00:36:46.000 Luke is tough, man.

00:36:47.000 He's tough despite his beautiful face.

00:36:49.000 Yeah.

00:36:50.000 That's why you actually got me into MMA a lot.

00:36:53.000 Because I remember there was a time where you were advocating for it.

00:36:56.000 And you were talking like, hey, boxing's a beautiful sport, but it's limited.

00:37:00.000 And it's like, there's no way you can argue that.

00:37:01.000 Especially when we got into this era, especially with Floyd Mayweather, where he just...

00:37:04.000 He mastered it, where he would fight, hold, knew how to not hit.

00:37:08.000 And fights get kind of boring.

00:37:09.000 He would win on points.

00:37:11.000 And MMA is so exciting because, like you said...

00:37:14.000 It's so hard, like what Khabib did to go undefeated, because anyone could lose on any night.

00:37:18.000 You don't see a kick.

00:37:19.000 When there's so many weapons coming out, you gotta play against the chute.

00:37:24.000 Anything can happen, and when you're watching a fight, you're like, anything can happen right now.

00:37:28.000 It's the wildest of all sports, for sure.

00:37:30.000 It's the wildest.

00:37:31.000 It's the closest sport that mimics an actual fight.

00:37:34.000 It's the wildest sport.

00:37:36.000 There's only one sport that's slightly wilder, and that's Lethwe.

00:37:39.000 Letwe has never really achieved full acceptance in the United States.

00:37:45.000 What's that?

00:37:46.000 They have headbutts and they have no gloves.

00:37:49.000 That's what UFC used to be.

00:37:51.000 Sort of, yeah.

00:37:51.000 The thing about Letwe is there's takedowns, but there's no ground and pound and submissions and shit like that.

00:37:59.000 Once they amended the sport a little bit with that, it really helped because that would get brutal.

00:38:06.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:38:07.000 Like the Mark Kerr, like these roided up dudes just fucking... 0.99

00:38:10.000 And you're going... 0.99

00:38:12.000 Like even men are turning away like, Jesus Christ, man.

00:38:15.000 His nose is gone. 0.98

00:38:17.000 Mark Coleman's move, he would take guys down and then just smash them with headbutts. 1.00

00:38:21.000 Ground and pound them and smash them. 0.98

00:38:22.000 I remember, yeah. 0.99

00:38:23.000 Headbutts are legit, man.

00:38:25.000 Yeah, and those crazies, you just take it and just patiently, their face would turn into a pizza until they got like an ankle.

00:38:33.000 I mean, I remember watching one of those fights where they didn't finally, he got like an ankle or an arm and it just ended it, but he got up and his face was just different.

00:38:42.000 Yeah.

00:38:43.000 Well, that changed the world when the UFC came around in 1993 because all these people had this idea of what martial arts were.

00:38:51.000 Everybody thought it was like a Chuck Norris movie.

00:38:53.000 You throw on kicks and, you know, like two guys are coming at you, you do a jumping split and you kick both of them.

00:38:58.000 Yeah.

00:38:58.000 But when they saw what a fight really is, it's like a lot of it is like grappling on the ground and that this smaller, relatively small, he was like 175 pounds, Hoist Gracie beat all these gigantic guys like Kemos, like 265. The guy was like 90 pounds bigger than him,

00:39:14.000 legitimately.

00:39:15.000 Right, yeah.

00:39:15.000 And he armbarred him.

00:39:16.000 Yeah.

00:39:17.000 Yeah, because...

00:39:18.000 I mean, nobody even really knew what Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu was until that.

00:39:22.000 No.

00:39:22.000 Yeah, you get a, you know...

00:39:24.000 And it's funny, like, do you think, like, Bruce Lee...

00:39:27.000 Because Bruce Lee's like this myth.

00:39:29.000 Bruce Lee had this thing, like, this mythical...

00:39:33.000 Aura about him where everyone was like, Bruce Lee.

00:39:35.000 But now that you see MMA, you're like, does he know how to wrestle?

00:39:39.000 Because...

00:39:39.000 Well, Bruce Lee was the first guy that actually incorporated all these other different styles like Judo and Jiu-Jitsu and submissions.

00:39:49.000 He incorporated those into his style, which he called Jeet Kune Do.

00:39:53.000 He invented a style.

00:39:55.000 And...

00:39:56.000 It's hard to think of how much impact that guy had because you kind of have to put yourself back in 1970. You got to put yourself back in the days when he was becoming popular because there was no one like him.

00:40:10.000 Everyone who did a style back then, whether it was judo or karate, you were taught that your style was the only style.

00:40:17.000 Like even when I was coming up and I was doing Taekwondo, I started working out with boxers and my instructor was discouraging it.

00:40:23.000 He was saying, you don't need to do that.

00:40:24.000 You can train your boxing here.

00:40:25.000 I was like, can I really, though?

00:40:27.000 I realized early on, no.

00:40:30.000 You need to see who does the best of all these different disciplines.

00:40:36.000 I started working out with judo guys, and that was a real wake-up call.

00:40:39.000 But the biggest wake-up call was when I started doing jiu-jitsu.

00:40:42.000 The first wake-up calls, the first time I got leg kicked, I was like, oh, this is terrible!

00:40:48.000 Like, you realize you get kicked a couple of times in the leg and your legs don't work, and then you can't kick people.

00:40:53.000 Yeah.

00:40:53.000 Like, okay, I need to understand this.

00:40:55.000 And then jujitsu was just... 0.98

00:40:57.000 I was just getting raped. 0.91

00:40:58.000 I was literally getting just torn apart. 0.99

00:41:01.000 And by guys my size, too.

00:41:03.000 That was the other thing.

00:41:03.000 They weren't bigger than me.

00:41:04.000 They just knew...

00:41:05.000 They were skilled.

00:41:06.000 They were looking for...

00:41:07.000 It's almost like a...

00:41:08.000 They just look for a weakness, an opening, and then things you would never think of, like a hand, an arm, an ankle.

00:41:14.000 Well, it's just they do that all the time.

00:41:17.000 It's just like when a heckler tries to challenge you, and it's like they think they're funny around the gas station or whatever, like, listen, I do this every night.

00:41:24.000 Right.

00:41:25.000 Like, this is not going to work out well for you.

00:41:27.000 And this is the same thing with jiu-jitsu.

00:41:28.000 It's like they do it every day.

00:41:29.000 They understand it.

00:41:31.000 You're literally trying to have an argument with someone and you know three words.

00:41:34.000 And they have the full dictionary at their disposal.

00:41:37.000 That's what it's like.

00:41:38.000 Yeah.

00:41:38.000 So a jiu-jitsu guy always has an advantage unless the other guy also knows jiu-jitsu.

00:41:43.000 Well, pretty much everybody knows some jiu-jitsu now.

00:41:45.000 But in the beginning, jiu-jitsu guys had a huge advantage.

00:41:49.000 I mean, that was what everybody wanted.

00:41:50.000 They wanted to, like, if you were a black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, everybody's like, oh my god, stay off the ground with that guy.

00:41:56.000 Well, that was where Vitor fucked everybody up, is because he was a black belt in jiu-jitsu, but also, he was a lethal striker.

00:42:03.000 And no one had ever seen that before.

00:42:04.000 Because my first UFC that I ever worked at was in 1997. And Vitor was 19 years old, and he won the heavyweight tournament.

00:42:12.000 And no one had ever seen anything like this. 0.99

00:42:15.000 This guy was fucking shredded. 0.99

00:42:17.000 19 years old. 1.00

00:42:18.000 Just jacked. 0.76

00:42:19.000 And just lighting people up on fire.

00:42:21.000 And it was crazy to watch because no one had ever seen a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt that also had phenomenal striking.

00:42:29.000 And that's what's great about MMA is like, it kept evolving.

00:42:34.000 I gotta learn jujitsu.

00:42:36.000 I gotta learn how to leg kick.

00:42:37.000 I gotta work on my Muay Thai.

00:42:39.000 That was like when that Gaethje Khabib fight, you could tell his strategy was like, I'm gonna try to get his legs and Khabib's just like, Yeah.

00:42:45.000 Just like he was taking kicks like...

00:42:47.000 Well, he got close.

00:42:49.000 He got one of those.

00:42:50.000 He got walloped with one of those kicks.

00:42:51.000 There's a few of those kicks to his lower leg that had put him in a bad place. 1.00

00:42:55.000 And Gaethje was landing fucking bombs. 0.99

00:42:59.000 They were horrible leg kicks. 0.99

00:43:00.000 But Khabib took them and figured out a way to get the fight to the ground.

00:43:03.000 Yeah.

00:43:04.000 But there's no other sport where in the past, like from 1993 to 2021, it's unrecognizable.

00:43:11.000 Like it's so much better.

00:43:13.000 Right.

00:43:13.000 Like if you go back to baseball in 1993 and you watch baseball today, not that much different.

00:43:18.000 Arguably not as good because they can't do steroids as easily.

00:43:22.000 Kind of helped the game.

00:43:23.000 I mean, Sosa McGuire, that brought baseball back, and those kids were roided up. 1.00

00:43:30.000 For sure.

00:43:31.000 They looked like He-Men characters.

00:43:32.000 Dude, I used to be a fitness trainer at the Boston Athletic Club, and Jose Canseco came in once when he was in the prime of his career, and he was a giant human being.

00:43:42.000 Yeah.

00:43:42.000 Just a tank of a man.

00:43:44.000 He walked in.

00:43:44.000 I was like, Jesus.

00:43:46.000 This is when he was at the top.

00:43:48.000 And everyone was like, Canseco's coming in.

00:43:50.000 Canseco's coming in.

00:43:50.000 And he walked in the building.

00:43:52.000 I'm like, wow.

00:43:52.000 You don't realize how big an elite pro athlete is.

00:43:56.000 On steroids.

00:43:57.000 Yeah, on everything.

00:43:58.000 He was on all the steroids.

00:44:01.000 And he dropped dime on everybody.

00:44:03.000 That whole era is a little tainted.

00:44:05.000 It's a little weird.

00:44:06.000 That was very unfortunate.

00:44:07.000 Yeah.

00:44:07.000 Because that ruined him, too.

00:44:09.000 Yeah, he should have just kept going.

00:44:10.000 I mean, like...

00:44:11.000 Keep it going.

00:44:12.000 Why did he have to...

00:44:13.000 Did he get caught and then he have to come clean?

00:44:15.000 Like, what happened?

00:44:16.000 It was, um...

00:44:17.000 No, I think...

00:44:19.000 Because they were all on the show.

00:44:19.000 Yeah, there was one guy.

00:44:21.000 There was one, like, guru steroid guy.

00:44:23.000 They figured out a way to do a cream.

00:44:26.000 Like, to circumvent the testing.

00:44:28.000 I think that's later.

00:44:28.000 Oh, is that later?

00:44:29.000 That was Barry Bonds.

00:44:30.000 Yeah, that's the clear.

00:44:31.000 Yeah.

00:44:31.000 Yeah, I've had that guy.

00:44:32.000 That was the head of Balco.

00:44:33.000 I had him on the podcast before.

00:44:34.000 That was Victor Conte.

00:44:35.000 So that was the generation after.

00:44:37.000 I don't really remember why Canseco...

00:44:40.000 Ratted everybody out.

00:44:42.000 But I mean...

00:44:42.000 Sammy, do you remember?

00:44:43.000 He's like the Sammy the Bull of baseball.

00:44:46.000 I don't know if there's a great reason, but at the time, so like 2000...

00:44:51.000 When was that Mark McGuire time?

00:44:54.000 Like 2000 or 99-ish?

00:44:56.000 It was when Sammy Sosa was still Dominican-looking.

00:44:59.000 Still brown. 0.54

00:45:00.000 He wrote a book.

00:45:01.000 Looks like Mark McGuire.

00:45:02.000 It was called Juiced, right?

00:45:03.000 You don't know if there's a reason why...

00:45:05.000 Yeah, Juiced, Wild Times, Rampant Roids, Smash Hits, and How Baseball Got Big.

00:45:09.000 Did he get kicked out of baseball or something?

00:45:12.000 Did something happen?

00:45:12.000 No, he was still playing even, honestly, recently, I think.

00:45:17.000 But no, but not when he wrote...

00:45:19.000 Yeah, but for who?

00:45:20.000 But not when he wrote that book.

00:45:21.000 When he wrote that book, was he still playing or was he suspended or something?

00:45:26.000 Real baseball fans were like, you don't know... 1.00

00:45:29.000 Shit! 1.00

00:45:29.000 You fucking pussies! 1.00

00:45:31.000 He was done in the MLB in 2001. And so the book came out a couple years after. 1.00

00:45:35.000 Let me see.

00:45:35.000 Okay.

00:45:36.000 So they probably kicked him out of baseball or his career was over for whatever reason.

00:45:40.000 He fought for a while, you know.

00:45:42.000 Did he really?

00:45:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:45:43.000 He fought a gigantic man.

00:45:46.000 God damn it, I'm trying to remember. 0.99

00:45:47.000 Was it MMA? Hongman Choi. 0.99

00:45:49.000 Yeah, he fought Hongman Choi.

00:45:51.000 No, I think it was a...

00:45:51.000 Yeah, I think it was MMA. He fought Hongman Choi in Japan.

00:45:56.000 Because Jose Canseco had an actual background in karate.

00:45:59.000 He was a martial artist and he tried throwing some kicks and I think he popped his knee and fell down and then Hong Man Choy beat the shit out of him. 0.75

00:46:06.000 But it was one of those deals where he needed money and they offered him a fight literally against a seven-foot man.

00:46:13.000 Hong Man Choy was a legitimate giant.

00:46:17.000 Gigantism. 0.99

00:46:18.000 I think I've seen YouTube videos of that guy. 0.73

00:46:19.000 Yeah, his head is as big as my whole torso.

00:46:22.000 He's enormous.

00:46:23.000 Yeah, I hate when Yeah.

00:46:25.000 I mean, it's like, you're gonna get wrecked against a trained MMA guy.

00:46:28.000 Like, didn't James Toney try to do that, too?

00:46:31.000 Yeah, he fought Randy Couture.

00:46:33.000 Yeah, Randy Couture ankle-picked him.

00:46:35.000 He just hit him with a low single, took him down, and he submitted him.

00:46:40.000 And did Herschel Walker try?

00:46:41.000 Herschel Walker smashed people.

00:46:44.000 Yeah.

00:46:44.000 Herschel Walker, when he was in his late 40s, was smashing people.

00:46:49.000 Yeah.

00:46:49.000 You know, there's like Daniel Day-Lewis of acting.

00:46:51.000 Yeah.

00:46:51.000 Herschel Walker is the Herschel Walker of athletes.

00:46:55.000 He does ballet, too.

00:46:56.000 Yeah.

00:46:57.000 Dude, he can do anything.

00:46:58.000 Yeah.

00:46:58.000 But I'm telling you, man, when he would fight, it would literally be like a bull in a china shop.

00:47:03.000 Guys, they couldn't deal with his athleticism and power.

00:47:08.000 I mean, in his 40s.

00:47:09.000 And also, his martial arts talent.

00:47:11.000 He really was a legitimate martial artist.

00:47:13.000 Yeah.

00:47:14.000 And was training with Cain Velasquez and Daniel Cormier.

00:47:16.000 He was training at American Kickboxing Academy.

00:47:19.000 So he's like, He went to the best gym in the country.

00:47:21.000 I mean, in terms of wrestling and heavyweights, arguably the best gym.

00:47:25.000 When DC and Cormier and Cain Velasquez were in their prime, that's when Hershel Walker was training with them.

00:47:36.000 So he was training with, and not just those guys.

00:47:39.000 I mean, there were so many good fighters.

00:47:40.000 There was Josh Thompson.

00:47:42.000 There was just a Luke Rockhold.

00:47:44.000 There was a camp filled with assassins, and Hershel was training with them.

00:47:48.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:47:48.000 So it wasn't like he went to some, like, bullshit-ass fucking McDojo gym at the mall and they held the pads for him. 0.99

00:47:56.000 Tiger Shulman's. 1.00

00:47:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:47:57.000 Tiger Shulman's legit, though.

00:47:58.000 He's legit, right?

00:47:59.000 Legit businessman, too.

00:48:00.000 I mean, those are all over the island.

00:48:02.000 Yeah.

00:48:02.000 See, Tiger Shulman's is a weird one because you would think, because it was a chain of karate schools, that, oh, it's, you know, it's kind of like McDojo-ish, but it's not.

00:48:12.000 Like, Tiger Shulman has raised some legit MMA fighters.

00:48:15.000 Wow, I didn't Yes, man. 0.99

00:48:17.000 There's some fucking top-notch guys. 0.99

00:48:19.000 There's a guy named Lyman Goode who's in the UFC right now who looks like he's sculpted out of fucking granite. 0.99

00:48:24.000 He's one of the scariest looking human beings, like physically impressive human beings to ever compete in a sport. 0.96

00:48:30.000 He's a Tiger Shulman guy.

00:48:31.000 Wow.

00:48:31.000 Yeah, there's a bunch of guys that fight out of Tiger Shulmans.

00:48:35.000 Yeah, look at that's Lyman Goode. 0.99

00:48:36.000 Damn. 1.00

00:48:37.000 Savage. 1.00

00:48:38.000 Damn. 1.00

00:48:39.000 And just smashed. 0.99

00:48:40.000 Go to that picture up top where he's in the fight right there.

00:48:42.000 Yeah.

00:48:43.000 Look at that.

00:48:43.000 Imagine that guy on the side of the octagon.

00:48:45.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:48:45.000 Coming for your fucking soul. 1.00

00:48:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:47.000 And that's all natural, you think? 1.00

00:48:49.000 Who knows?

00:48:49.000 Why ask questions?

00:48:51.000 Why ask?

00:48:51.000 Yeah.

00:48:52.000 I don't know.

00:48:53.000 Baseball should have just...

00:48:54.000 I mean, it's like baseball...

00:48:54.000 Look at him in that picture.

00:48:56.000 Yeah, he's ripped.

00:48:57.000 That's Shane Burgos.

00:48:58.000 He's another guy who's a Tiger Shulman guy.

00:49:01.000 I mean, they had a lot of very, very legit guys.

00:49:05.000 And Tiger Shulman, he adapted.

00:49:07.000 Shaquille O'Neal agrees to fight Jose Canseco.

00:49:09.000 When is this?

00:49:09.000 Come on.

00:49:10.000 March 14, 2012. I say come on, but you know what?

00:49:15.000 I want to see it.

00:49:16.000 I'll pay for it.

00:49:17.000 I'll pay for it.

00:49:18.000 Come on, man.

00:49:19.000 I'm all in.

00:49:20.000 The thing about baseball is it's the only sport that's hanging on to the past.

00:49:25.000 We're like, all these sports have adapted.

00:49:27.000 Basketball, the shot clock.

00:49:28.000 They keep adapting with the times.

00:49:30.000 Baseball's the only one that's resistant to change and goes, no, no, no, it's America's pastime.

00:49:35.000 They even got mad when they did like the little rule where you can't step out of the batter's box.

00:49:40.000 It's like, things are moving quicker now. 0.99

00:49:42.000 You gotta, we gotta have like someone on the sidelines with like a loaded gun, like shooting, like a blind guy just fucking firing. 0.99

00:49:48.000 It's something to speed it up or steroids or something. 0.99

00:49:52.000 Yeah, but people love it.

00:49:53.000 They like to get drunk and eat hot dogs.

00:49:54.000 It's a great social game.

00:49:56.000 But now you go there, it's like corporate.

00:49:57.000 You get sushi.

00:49:58.000 Sushi at a ballpark.

00:50:00.000 It's like, I'm not there to have sushi.

00:50:01.000 I'm there to have a hot dog, get diarrhea, drink $11 Budweiser.

00:50:05.000 That's what I'm there to do.

00:50:06.000 Yeah, hot dogs are the move.

00:50:08.000 I mean, that's a baseball type.

00:50:10.000 And popcorn, right?

00:50:11.000 Yes, popcorn.

00:50:12.000 Cracker Jacks.

00:50:13.000 Baseball foods.

00:50:13.000 Yeah.

00:50:14.000 Yeah.

00:50:14.000 I got bored with it.

00:50:15.000 I played baseball when I was a kid, and that's actually how I found martial arts.

00:50:19.000 How I really got into martial arts was I went to see a baseball game at Fenway Park.

00:50:23.000 I went to see a Sox game, and me and my buddy were coming home, and I was 14 at the time.

00:50:28.000 We were walking, and we had to get on the T, and the T is the Boston train system, and the lines were so huge.

00:50:36.000 We were walking.

00:50:37.000 It's like New York subway.

00:50:38.000 Yeah.

00:50:39.000 Now I understand.

00:50:40.000 It's obviously not as extensive, and it's outside.

00:50:44.000 It's not underground.

00:50:45.000 So we were walking towards the train station, and I found this taekwondo school.

00:50:51.000 And I walked up, and it was the craziest divine timing of all.

00:50:54.000 I walked up the stairs, and as I was walking up the stairs to this taekwondo school, I heard this crazy sound, like, whoomp!

00:51:01.000 K-chink! 1.00

00:51:02.000 Wump! 0.99

00:51:03.000 K-chink! 1.00

00:51:03.000 Like a metal, like a thud, and then metal. 1.00

00:51:06.000 And I didn't know what the fuck that sounded like. 0.99

00:51:08.000 Chains and metal. 0.98

00:51:09.000 I was like, what is this?

00:51:11.000 I went up there and there's this guy, John Lee.

00:51:13.000 And John Lee was the national champion.

00:51:15.000 He was preparing for the World Cup.

00:51:16.000 And he was in his peak training.

00:51:18.000 And he was kicking this bag with a spinning back kick.

00:51:22.000 And he was literally folding this bag in half.

00:51:24.000 And then it was hanging from a chain.

00:51:26.000 So he'd hear the whoomp when his heel slammed into the bag.

00:51:30.000 And then it went ka-chink! 1.00

00:51:31.000 Like the bag would slam, you know, go flying and the chains would rattle.

00:51:35.000 And I remember being a 14-year-old kid standing there staring at this guy just smashing his bag.

00:51:41.000 And I remember thinking like, I want to learn how to do that.

00:51:45.000 And I signed up that day.

00:51:47.000 Wow.

00:51:48.000 And that became my whole life.

00:51:49.000 Right.

00:51:49.000 Like from that moment on, I was there every day until I was like 22. Right.

00:51:54.000 Like literally became my whole life.

00:51:56.000 Right.

00:51:57.000 From that one moment, just going up there and seeing this guy. 0.99

00:52:00.000 I could have gone up there and be little kids practicing and it would have been like, get the fuck out of here. 0.96

00:52:04.000 But what I saw was so insanely impressive that I immediately signed up. 0.59

00:52:11.000 Do you think this is sort of like a free will versus like...

00:52:17.000 Destiny question.

00:52:18.000 Do you think that's because you had something in you that that connected to?

00:52:22.000 If I walked by there, I'd be like, what's that noise?

00:52:24.000 And then I'm like, all right, let me go get a burger or whatever.

00:52:27.000 Could be.

00:52:28.000 Do you think it's because it was meant to happen?

00:52:30.000 There's something in you that...

00:52:32.000 That's a tricky one to buy into.

00:52:35.000 You know, you could say, like, that's my destiny.

00:52:37.000 But it just appealed to me.

00:52:40.000 You know, I mean, I'd seen a lot of other things that didn't appeal to me, right?

00:52:45.000 Like, I was just at a baseball game where I saw the best baseball players in the world.

00:52:49.000 Professionals. 0.99

00:52:50.000 I didn't give a fuck. 1.00

00:52:51.000 I was like, yeah, that's great. 0.99

00:52:52.000 But why?

00:52:52.000 That's my question.

00:52:53.000 Like, do you think that's just, like, it's in you?

00:52:54.000 Like, that's, like, your genetic kind of...

00:52:56.000 Like, you're predisposed to it, I guess they would say?

00:52:58.000 Like, fighting?

00:52:59.000 It clicked all...

00:53:00.000 It hit all my switches, pushed all my buttons.

00:53:03.000 I was like, that's what I need to do.

00:53:05.000 Right.

00:53:05.000 Well, you had a talent for it because you got good at it.

00:53:08.000 Like, a champ.

00:53:08.000 I didn't have a talent in the beginning.

00:53:10.000 I mean, I got good because I was obsessed, but whatever it was...

00:53:16.000 You know, like, you just gotta find your thing.

00:53:18.000 For me at the time, that was my thing.

00:53:20.000 You know, I just found my thing.

00:53:22.000 And then stand-up was my thing when I found that, too.

00:53:24.000 Very similar to fighting, too.

00:53:26.000 You're up there alone, like, all the jargon is like, kill, smash, punchline.

00:53:31.000 Crush. 0.98

00:53:32.000 Yeah, crush. 1.00

00:53:32.000 You guys are a killer. 1.00

00:53:34.000 In a way. 1.00

00:53:36.000 But also in a way that it requires you to spend time on your own, disciplining yourself.

00:53:43.000 And one of the things that separates comics from comics that don't do well is the time they spend writing.

00:53:49.000 And some comics, they get great, but they don't write.

00:53:53.000 They don't write.

00:53:54.000 Some comics have an interesting way of writing.

00:53:56.000 Bill Burr, I think, is the most fascinating way of writing.

00:53:58.000 Because what Bill is basically doing is two days a week, he does a solo podcast, just uninterrupted stream of consciousness.

00:54:08.000 And out of that has come some of the best comedy we've ever experienced. 0.99

00:54:11.000 Because he just sits by himself and talks shit. 0.99

00:54:14.000 Like I was listening to him talk shit about the Apple Store today. 1.00

00:54:16.000 And these fucking cunts in this fucking Apple Store. 1.00

00:54:18.000 I just went down there. 1.00

00:54:19.000 I wanted a fucking iPad. 0.99

00:54:22.000 And he's got no one interrupting him. 0.99

00:54:26.000 So it's just him in his office by himself with a microphone and just thinking and talking.

00:54:31.000 And that's...

00:54:33.000 It's a workout.

00:54:34.000 It's a type of workout. 0.95

00:54:35.000 Whether you're sitting in front of a laptop, whatever the fuck you're doing, like whatever you're doing to kind of create, some guys don't do that. 0.95

00:54:43.000 They just want to go on stage. 0.74

00:54:45.000 And so they go on stage and then they just sort of spout out what they've already done and maybe they add a tag here, a little bit there, but they don't develop the way a guy like Bill turns over material.

00:54:57.000 Yeah.

00:54:58.000 And I think if you ask him, when he started a podcast, his comedy went to another level because of that, probably.

00:55:06.000 100%.

00:55:06.000 It really did.

00:55:07.000 I mean, there's no doubt about it.

00:55:08.000 He was always great.

00:55:10.000 Bill was always...

00:55:10.000 He had talent.

00:55:12.000 He's got a perspective. 0.98

00:55:13.000 He's got balls. 0.97

00:55:15.000 I saw him out here. 0.98

00:55:16.000 He performed at one of these outdoor amphitheaters, freezing cold outside. 0.99

00:55:20.000 I had my fucking jacket zipped up to my neck, sitting there freezing on the sidelines watching. 0.99

00:55:25.000 But it was fun to watch real, wild comedy. 0.99

00:55:29.000 He's still doing wild comedy.

00:55:32.000 There's no one that can take him down.

00:55:35.000 There's no cancel culture. 1.00

00:55:37.000 Just saying all the shit that he thinks of. 1.00

00:55:40.000 Yeah, he kind of just, he performs like it doesn't exist. 1.00

00:55:44.000 Like, cancel culture doesn't exist.

00:55:45.000 Kind of like the way Jack Johnson just kind of, Jack, you ever see that documentary, Jack Johnson?

00:55:52.000 Yeah, where he just, like, lived his life as if racism didn't exist, and people, like, didn't even know what to make of him. 0.98

00:55:58.000 Danged a lot of white chicks. 1.00

00:55:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:55:59.000 He did. 1.00

00:55:59.000 In their face. 1.00

00:56:01.000 During a time where, like, you get lynched for that shit. 1.00

00:56:04.000 He almost seemed like he was taken from another era and put into... 1.00

00:56:07.000 He would talk shit while he was fucking you up. 1.00

00:56:10.000 He had gold tea. 1.00

00:56:11.000 He had gold fronts.

00:56:12.000 I mean, before hip-hop.

00:56:13.000 I mean, he almost looks like he was, like, time-traveled.

00:56:17.000 Yeah, well, you know, it's interesting.

00:56:19.000 His nickname was the Galveston Giant.

00:56:21.000 You know, he was only like six feet tall or six foot one, I think.

00:56:25.000 I don't think he was even...

00:56:26.000 He might have been 200 pounds.

00:56:28.000 Yeah.

00:56:29.000 You know?

00:56:30.000 Pull up how tall and how much did Jack Johnson weigh.

00:56:33.000 How tall?

00:56:34.000 Six foot tall.

00:56:35.000 Yeah.

00:56:35.000 Galveston giant.

00:56:36.000 A giant.

00:56:37.000 You're six foot tall, right?

00:56:38.000 Yeah.

00:56:39.000 Yeah.

00:56:39.000 How crazy is that?

00:56:39.000 That is crazy.

00:56:40.000 You're a giant.

00:56:40.000 People had no food back then.

00:56:42.000 Yeah, they didn't grow that big.

00:56:43.000 They didn't have any food, dude. 0.99

00:56:44.000 This is how fucking soft we are. 0.98

00:56:46.000 People were tiny back then. 0.98

00:56:48.000 Look at the average size of the Civil War.

00:56:50.000 An average man was 130 pounds.

00:56:52.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:56:53.000 Because they didn't have any fucking food. 0.99

00:56:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:56:55.000 They must have looked like Abe Lincoln, like, holy shit. 0.99

00:56:57.000 This guy's tall. 0.99

00:56:58.000 He's like 6'2", not that big.

00:56:59.000 Yeah, I mean, but Jack Johnson was... 0.85

00:57:02.000 Guys got big balls, literally. 0.57

00:57:04.000 Look at that package. 0.99

00:57:05.000 Giant sack. 1.00

00:57:05.000 Huge cock, I'm sure. 1.00

00:57:06.000 Look at that right there. 0.99

00:57:07.000 I mean, you gotta think, there's no steroids back then.

00:57:10.000 There's just superior genetics. 0.98

00:57:12.000 And also, just fucking hardship, right? 0.98

00:57:15.000 You know, talk about Khabib growing up in Dagestan. 0.99

00:57:18.000 Imagine being a black man as a boxer back when they all wanted white men to be the champ. 0.98

00:57:24.000 Look at the size of him, man. 0.98

00:57:27.000 Shredded. 0.96

00:57:27.000 He was shredded. 0.96

00:57:28.000 Built like a modern elite athlete.

00:57:32.000 Yeah.

00:57:32.000 And this is, you know, what year was that?

00:57:35.000 Turn of the century.

00:57:37.000 What year was it, Jamie, does it say?

00:57:39.000 That he was a champ?

00:57:40.000 Was it like 1908?

00:57:42.000 Like early, early turn of the century.

00:57:44.000 I started eating a little bit there.

00:57:46.000 What can you do?

00:57:47.000 Buster Douglas, it happens.

00:57:48.000 In between fights.

00:57:49.000 What, that right there?

00:57:50.000 Yeah, he looks like he had a couple cheeseburgers or whatever.

00:57:52.000 Well, what does it say here?

00:57:54.000 Does it say there?

00:57:56.000 It says he was born in...

00:57:58.000 He died in 46. He was born in 1878. Wow!

00:58:07.000 So it's probably the early, early 1900s.

00:58:11.000 But they would get giant-ass crowds, and you barely could see anything.

00:58:16.000 And all guys had top hats.

00:58:18.000 You ever see the crowds?

00:58:19.000 They're wild.

00:58:20.000 He lost over 100 pounds to get into that fight.

00:58:23.000 What?

00:58:23.000 In 1910, yeah.

00:58:25.000 He hadn't fought in six years and had to lose well over 100 pounds to get back into his championship fighting weight.

00:58:30.000 Really?

00:58:31.000 Yeah.

00:58:32.000 It was... 0.81

00:58:32.000 Yeah, he's probably just drinking and eating and living like a killer. 0.81

00:58:36.000 Oh, the guy he fought.

00:58:37.000 Oh! 0.60

00:58:38.000 Who'd he fight?

00:58:38.000 Was that Jeffries?

00:58:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:58:40.000 James Jeffries?

00:58:41.000 Yeah.

00:58:42.000 Yeah.

00:58:43.000 Oh, well, that makes sense.

00:58:44.000 Well, they brought Jeffries in to try to beat him because Jeffries was the former champion and...

00:58:49.000 He was a big kid too, right?

00:58:50.000 Jim Jeffries?

00:58:51.000 Yeah, he's a big fella.

00:58:53.000 But, you know.

00:58:54.000 That's where the Great White Hope kind of probably originated.

00:58:56.000 They were trying to beat him.

00:58:58.000 Oh yeah, for sure.

00:58:59.000 That's exactly where it came from.

00:59:00.000 Yeah.

00:59:01.000 And then he was about to win that fight and they cut the broadcast.

00:59:05.000 What's that?

00:59:05.000 There was a broadcast back then?

00:59:07.000 Yeah, it was like the first televised boxing match.

00:59:10.000 I forget who he was fighting.

00:59:11.000 Some white guy number five or six.

00:59:14.000 Whatever they were putting up.

00:59:15.000 Before he knocked them out, they just cut the broadcast because they didn't want the country to see it.

00:59:21.000 They had broadcasts back then?

00:59:23.000 It's towards the end, yeah.

00:59:24.000 I don't think it was that fight.

00:59:27.000 It wasn't that fight.

00:59:29.000 No.

00:59:29.000 When did they have TV? What was the first television broadcast?

00:59:33.000 I want to say 1940. 1940. Let's figure out when the first television broadcast was.

00:59:41.000 Take a guess.

00:59:42.000 When was the first television broadcast?

00:59:43.000 I'm going to say, like, 1917. 1917, Jay!

00:59:48.000 Back in the day, when people would talk like that.

00:59:49.000 Yeah, why did they talk like that?

00:59:51.000 Hey, welcome to the fight!

00:59:54.000 1928 was the first broadcast?

00:59:56.000 So one of his fights was broadcast, right?

00:59:58.000 I don't know, man.

00:59:59.000 I think they filmed it.

01:00:01.000 I don't know.

01:00:03.000 I don't think they did.

01:00:04.000 I don't think they did.

01:00:06.000 I want to say if that was the case, it was like way late in his career.

01:00:11.000 They think like even like when he lost, like lost later in his career, they think he took a dive.

01:00:17.000 Because there's a video of it where it doesn't really look like he's hurt.

01:00:20.000 He just kind of lays down.

01:00:22.000 They might have threatened him, or he might have got a big payday to take a dive.

01:00:27.000 There's always a lot of speculation in boxing about guys taking dives.

01:00:31.000 Especially the mob was heavily involved in it.

01:00:33.000 Oh, yeah.

01:00:34.000 My God.

01:00:35.000 Imagine the amount of money you could win betting on a white guy against Jack Johnson.

01:00:39.000 Yeah, a lot of money.

01:00:41.000 Yeah, a lot of money.

01:00:42.000 Yeah.

01:00:42.000 One of his quotes, I remember, he was so wild.

01:00:45.000 He used to drive a fast car.

01:00:48.000 He made some money.

01:00:49.000 What was fast back then?

01:00:50.000 35?

01:00:51.000 35 miles an hour, yeah.

01:00:54.000 Like, wow!

01:00:56.000 He got a ticket, and the guy, he was like, hey, don't give me a ticket now.

01:00:59.000 He was like, because I'm going to drive back.

01:01:00.000 You give me two tickets.

01:01:02.000 No, what it was is they gave him a ticket for $50.

01:01:05.000 He goes, here's $100 because I'm going to be going the same speed the way back.

01:01:08.000 Wow, yeah. 0.99

01:01:09.000 That's not giving a fuck. 0.99

01:01:10.000 I mean, he had no fucks to give. 0.99

01:01:13.000 Yeah, I mean, what are you going to do? 0.62

01:01:14.000 Guys like him, almost like when you look at history, you're like, you know, is this sort of just a natural evolution?

01:01:21.000 You're like, no, certain guys move history forward.

01:01:23.000 Oh, yeah.

01:01:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:01:24.000 Certain human beings are so spectacular in their time frame that it changes what we expect.

01:01:30.000 Yeah.

01:01:30.000 It changes our expectations.

01:01:32.000 Look at comedy.

01:01:33.000 Pryor.

01:01:33.000 Richard Pryor is that.

01:01:35.000 Richard Pryor changed comedy.

01:01:37.000 He did.

01:01:38.000 Comedy became super honest.

01:01:43.000 Whereas comedy before was like a lot of jokes.

01:01:45.000 And then there was Lenny Bruce.

01:01:47.000 And then from Lenny Bruce, there was Richard Pryor.

01:01:50.000 So I think Lenny Bruce sort of opened the door and Richard Pryor burst through it.

01:01:56.000 And he changed comedy.

01:01:58.000 Yeah.

01:01:58.000 Changed it.

01:01:59.000 I think probably if we look back, podcasts are gonna change comedy in some way because it's so honest.

01:02:05.000 Like you were saying, I remember watching a late night set back in the day. 0.98

01:02:11.000 You see Roseanne and you're like, holy shit, that was amazing. 0.97

01:02:14.000 And it's because it's the only thing you knew. 0.99

01:02:16.000 It was like the wildest thing to see then.

01:02:18.000 But then when cable happened and then you saw HBO and then you go back and watch that set, you're like, wow, that's really tame.

01:02:26.000 And now it's like podcasts.

01:02:30.000 It's taking it to a new level where people are really being genuine and really being uncensored.

01:02:36.000 It may be changing people's conditioning.

01:02:39.000 Well, it's also the first time where famous people are being themselves in an open forum where millions of people are watching.

01:02:48.000 Whereas before, everyone's guarded and they're worried about their next gig.

01:02:52.000 Right.

01:02:53.000 Whereas this is my gig.

01:02:54.000 That's a good point.

01:02:55.000 This is my gig forever and I own it.

01:02:57.000 Yeah.

01:02:57.000 So why would I change?

01:02:59.000 Yeah.

01:02:59.000 I don't have an incentive.

01:03:01.000 Yeah.

01:03:01.000 Right?

01:03:02.000 The incentive was then always to prepare yourself for a role.

01:03:05.000 You're going to get hired to do this.

01:03:07.000 You're going to get accepted by this.

01:03:09.000 You're going to get brought in to do that.

01:03:11.000 Back then, there was no benefit in being real.

01:03:17.000 The benefit was in you towing the line.

01:03:21.000 And you see that from actors today, and it's so sad. 0.98

01:03:25.000 They're cucks. 0.64

01:03:26.000 They're forced into this position where they have to kowtow. 0.94

01:03:31.000 They have to speak all the woke lingo, and they have to do all the right things.

01:03:35.000 If they don't, they won't get hired, and they know it, and they're scared.

01:03:38.000 They're operating scared.

01:03:39.000 And I think one of the benefits of podcasts and one of the things that people reflect to is like, oh my god, that guy's a real person.

01:03:44.000 But that's who he really is.

01:03:46.000 And you know, you hear a guy talk for three hours. 0.99

01:03:49.000 I mean, unless you're a complete sociopath. 0.96

01:03:53.000 And then that's going to come through. 1.00

01:03:55.000 You'll see that this guy doesn't give a fuck about anybody but himself. 0.99

01:03:58.000 You're going to see it. 0.98

01:03:59.000 And that's why I think Hollywood's probably having such a hard time competing.

01:04:05.000 Because that's changed the conditioning where you can see, oh, this is real.

01:04:09.000 It seems more fake.

01:04:11.000 It seems contrived. 1.00

01:04:13.000 Well, it made late night television look like fucking ham radio. 0.99

01:04:19.000 It makes late night television look like Morse code. 0.99

01:04:22.000 That's what it makes it look like.

01:04:24.000 It's so strange that they have to cut every seven minutes for a commercial.

01:04:28.000 It's so strange that they can't swear.

01:04:30.000 Yeah.

01:04:30.000 It's so, everything's so strange.

01:04:32.000 And it sucks. 1.00

01:04:33.000 It sucks. 0.99

01:04:34.000 I mean, it's just like, even when you're performing, and I remember when I would, like, I had this, I had a show on Fusion, which was this network that failed, and I was with two journalists. 0.97

01:04:42.000 I remember Fusion.

01:04:43.000 Yeah.

01:04:43.000 And, like, you just, even your whole body posture is fake, and everything, you don't touch your face, even if it itches, because you look like a crackhead on TV if you even touch your nose, and, like, you know, I remember I would have full panic attacks, and I would just stand there and just be dealing with it, you know?

01:04:58.000 How about in between breaks, they'd powder your forehead?

01:05:00.000 Yeah, they come and they touch you.

01:05:01.000 They put makeup on you. 1.00

01:05:03.000 Even when I look at my Comedy Central half hour, makeup looks stupid. 1.00

01:05:07.000 Yeah, it's caked on. 0.99

01:05:09.000 Dude, I did a show in 1993, and it was a stand-up show with Jay London.

01:05:17.000 You know Jay London?

01:05:18.000 No.

01:05:18.000 You know Jay London?

01:05:19.000 Fucking great comic. 0.97

01:05:22.000 Me and Jay, and there were some other people on the show, but I remember Jay, and they made me up so much. 0.99

01:05:28.000 They literally put mascara on me.

01:05:30.000 It looked like it, at least.

01:05:32.000 There was so much powder on my face.

01:05:33.000 It looked like you were in The Cure.

01:05:35.000 They put lipstick on.

01:05:36.000 It was so crazy.

01:05:38.000 And the lady was ensuring me that, listen, I was like, my God, this is too much makeup.

01:05:42.000 She goes, no, no, no.

01:05:42.000 Under the lights, it's going to look normal.

01:05:44.000 It did not look normal.

01:05:46.000 I looked so made up. 0.99

01:05:47.000 And from that moment on, I like fucking refused makeup. 0.98

01:05:50.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:05:51.000 I used to hide from the makeup girl before the show.

01:05:55.000 They used to have to call me to set.

01:05:56.000 What's crazy is they used to try to put makeup on me during the UFC. I'm like, do you know how crazy this is?

01:06:02.000 Yeah.

01:06:02.000 Because at one time I came to the UFC and I had two black eyes from training, you know, just from jujitsu.

01:06:08.000 From friends, actually.

01:06:10.000 It's just accidental black eyes.

01:06:11.000 And they were like, we're going to cover those.

01:06:13.000 I go, why would you do that? 1.00

01:06:15.000 I go, here I am doing commentary for guys who are going to get their fucking heads punched in. 1.00

01:06:19.000 Right. 1.00

01:06:19.000 They're going to get their, literally their forehead smashed by a shin. 1.00

01:06:22.000 Right.

01:06:22.000 And you want to put makeup on me?

01:06:24.000 Right.

01:06:24.000 I'm like, let's just...

01:06:25.000 Yeah, like the fan base is looking going, you know, yeah, Joe should have worn makeup.

01:06:29.000 Leave my black eyes.

01:06:31.000 It gives me some legitimacy.

01:06:33.000 Yeah.

01:06:33.000 At least lets people know I'm getting after it.

01:06:35.000 Yeah.

01:06:36.000 Because you can't do this.

01:06:38.000 Yeah.

01:06:38.000 But the makeup thing is a strange...

01:06:40.000 Like, I get it with women, and I appreciate it. 0.99

01:06:42.000 Like, let's keep going.

01:06:43.000 Yeah.

01:06:43.000 It's culture.

01:06:44.000 You want to wear lipstick, and you look great.

01:06:46.000 I don't mind.

01:06:47.000 I don't care.

01:06:47.000 But for men, like, come on.

01:06:49.000 Yeah.

01:06:50.000 What are we doing here?

01:06:51.000 Yeah.

01:06:51.000 Are we pretending?

01:06:53.000 Yeah.

01:06:53.000 Yeah, women don't care.

01:06:56.000 They actually like it if you look unmade up.

01:07:00.000 Your forehead shiny?

01:07:01.000 We need to stop that?

01:07:02.000 Who's getting mad because of my forehead shiny?

01:07:04.000 Who is that?

01:07:05.000 Nobody cares.

01:07:06.000 What's happening here?

01:07:07.000 What are we doing?

01:07:08.000 But for the longest time, it was the standard.

01:07:11.000 And you can't question it just because it becomes habit.

01:07:14.000 It's just kind of like...

01:07:15.000 Exactly.

01:07:16.000 Yeah, and everyone goes like, no, that's what you do.

01:07:17.000 And you're like, yeah.

01:07:18.000 They made me do it on Fear Factor for like the first couple seasons.

01:07:21.000 Yeah.

01:07:22.000 And then after a while I was like, stop.

01:07:23.000 Just stop.

01:07:24.000 Stop.

01:07:25.000 Stop.

01:07:26.000 Some guys eating a fucking... 1.00

01:07:28.000 Eating roaches and then they cotton. 1.00

01:07:36.000 You know where that really shined through? 0.99

01:07:42.000 What we're talking about, kind of like that people just act that way until they realize this is stupid, was like your incident with Stephen A. Smith. 0.98

01:07:50.000 That was very intriguing to me. 0.95

01:07:52.000 Because when he came in and he started doing the sports talk, which I love, and I like Stephen A. Smith because he's controversial.

01:08:00.000 He's fun!

01:08:01.000 And he gets you jacked up and he's charismatic.

01:08:04.000 I like him a lot.

01:08:05.000 I do.

01:08:05.000 He has a strong opinion.

01:08:06.000 Which is why I didn't get mad at him.

01:08:08.000 But it didn't, for me personally, it didn't work for MMA. For some reason, it didn't work.

01:08:14.000 And that's because there's something nice after you beat someone up that you're humble about it.

01:08:19.000 Because it takes so much courage to get in there and fight.

01:08:24.000 It's the scariest thing.

01:08:25.000 There's something really cool about that. 0.99

01:08:28.000 You would think in American culture, it's like, ah, you know, to talk shit, get him involved. 1.00

01:08:32.000 But Khabib proves, you could be a box office draw and not be an absolute fucking dick. 0.99

01:08:37.000 Well, Stephen A. Smith was applying the same sort of methods that he uses for basketball and football. 0.99

01:08:43.000 And it's made him an amazing career, right?

01:08:46.000 So it's normal that he applied that to MMA. But I feel like MMA requires a different approach.

01:08:54.000 And I guess a lot of people agreed, because he doesn't really do it anymore.

01:08:58.000 And the approach is that you have to appreciate and respect.

01:09:02.000 His approach was the same way the guy...

01:09:05.000 Fumbles a bunch of free throws or fucks up in football or strikes out.

01:09:12.000 He didn't show up.

01:09:13.000 He didn't show up.

01:09:13.000 But the difference between combat sports is the reason he didn't show up is Connor steamrolled him.

01:09:20.000 Connor steamrolled Cowboy.

01:09:21.000 And Cowboy is a friend of mine.

01:09:23.000 And first of all...

01:09:24.000 I would never talk bad about Cowboy.

01:09:26.000 I love that guy to death.

01:09:28.000 Donald Cerrone is a good friend.

01:09:29.000 I love him.

01:09:30.000 Every time I see him, I hug him.

01:09:32.000 I can't talk bad about him.

01:09:33.000 I know the pressures of fighting.

01:09:35.000 I know what it meant to be there.

01:09:37.000 And I know what it meant to be there in the biggest fight of his career.

01:09:40.000 And Stephen A. Smith had some points.

01:09:41.000 He had some really good points.

01:09:43.000 Donald didn't perform to the best of his ability.

01:09:48.000 He got overwhelmed by the superior fighter.

01:09:52.000 That's just how it is.

01:09:53.000 But my perspective was not the same because my perspective is that it's really what Conor McGregor did To Donald Cerrone that led to the outcome.

01:10:04.000 It's not that Donald didn't show up.

01:10:06.000 It's that Connor was superior.

01:10:08.000 So my position is always to highlight the one who is effective.

01:10:13.000 To talk positively about the one who dominated and who had a spectacular performance. 0.99

01:10:20.000 It's never to talk badly about the one who got his ass kicked. 0.99

01:10:24.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:10:24.000 Because I've been hit before. 0.99

01:10:26.000 I've been fucked up before. 0.99

01:10:27.000 I've lost before. 0.99

01:10:28.000 I know what it feels like.

01:10:30.000 And I've been around these guys.

01:10:31.000 I know who they are.

01:10:33.000 I know everything about their ability.

01:10:38.000 I know everything about their history.

01:10:40.000 I know everything about their career.

01:10:43.000 I respect them to the core.

01:10:45.000 I will never talk badly about them.

01:10:47.000 So I never talk badly about someone who doesn't perform to the best of their ability.

01:10:51.000 So our exchange, although it was respectful, It was indicative of a different philosophy.

01:10:58.000 It's a different sport.

01:10:59.000 If you're talking about basketball, you're talking about a sport.

01:11:04.000 You're talking about a guy who throws a ball into a net.

01:11:07.000 It's very difficult.

01:11:08.000 They're paid extremely well because it's so entertaining and they're so good.

01:11:14.000 Fighting is who you are.

01:11:17.000 It's who you are as a human.

01:11:20.000 It's your soul.

01:11:22.000 You're exposed.

01:11:23.000 You're literally naked. 1.00

01:11:24.000 You have a cup over your dick. 1.00

01:11:26.000 You have shorts over your ass. 1.00

01:11:28.000 That's it. 1.00

01:11:29.000 That's all you have.

01:11:30.000 You have little pads on your knuckles, and then you have your personality, your flaws, your pros and cons exposed to the world.

01:11:39.000 And you have to be charitable.

01:11:41.000 You have to be because it's almost like, if I was going to use an analogy with another sport, it was almost like, because you get hurt in MMA. Like, Donald Cerrone was hurt.

01:11:50.000 So, like, it's fine when you're watching basketball to be like, this team didn't show up when all the guys go back to the locker room and they're just, like, emotionally dejected.

01:11:58.000 But, like, it would be like if you watch a guy break his leg in basketball or, like, really gets hurt and then you go, he didn't show up!

01:12:05.000 You know, and so you're going, like, that's not the right tone to have when someone's actually...

01:12:10.000 Physically been hurt, you know?

01:12:12.000 I know, I know.

01:12:13.000 And Stephen A. Smith, we disagreed and we went back and forth.

01:12:16.000 Even the way he responded was very respectful, and I really appreciate that.

01:12:20.000 The way he responded to me about that was very respectful.

01:12:23.000 He's a good guy. 0.98

01:12:24.000 He's doing a thing, and he's fucking great at it, man. 0.94

01:12:28.000 He was doing his thing. 0.98

01:12:29.000 He's doing his thing.

01:12:30.000 And what was interesting about that moment is I think we all learned as a fan, from a fan's perspective, we're like, oh, that's the tone of MMA for that reason.

01:12:38.000 At the end, there's a reason why guys go bad to each other, because that guy must have so much respect for that guy, because he knows what that guy put on the line, and he knows how that guy's feeling.

01:12:46.000 He knows how that guy's physically hurt, and the courage that it takes.

01:12:49.000 Like you said, it's a difference between putting a ball in a hoop.

01:12:52.000 Those things are great, but you're not sacrificing...

01:12:57.000 Guys get hurt.

01:12:58.000 They get hurt for real.

01:12:59.000 Listen, no one's ever died in MMA, but it's certainly possible.

01:13:03.000 I shouldn't say no one's died in MMA. No one's died in the UFC, but they have died in MMA. They've certainly died in boxing.

01:13:10.000 There's levels.

01:13:11.000 The way I describe MMA is high-level problem-solving with dire physical consequences.

01:13:18.000 That's pretty accurate, yeah.

01:13:19.000 That's what it is.

01:13:20.000 That's my description of what it is, and I will always show those guys respect.

01:13:24.000 But I respect Stephen A. Smith, too.

01:13:26.000 I like what he does.

01:13:27.000 I think he's funny.

01:13:28.000 He's fun.

01:13:29.000 He causes arguments. 1.00

01:13:30.000 He talks shit, and that's why he's so huge. 1.00

01:13:34.000 He's so huge because he does that thing, and it's applicable for sports. 1.00

01:13:38.000 It's applicable for football, but it's...

01:13:40.000 I don't think you should have the same approach for MMA. The same way...

01:13:47.000 Look, people can criticize human beings for all sorts of different things, but when you talk about soldiers and veterans, you're talking about a completely different type of consequences for their actions.

01:14:00.000 Completely different levels of stress for what they have to go through, right?

01:14:05.000 So if you discuss politicians, you can discuss politicians in one way, but when you discuss veterans, I think you have to have a level of respect.

01:14:13.000 They deserve a level of respect because they're existing in a realm where the consequences are as grave as is humanly possible.

01:14:23.000 There's no more grave consequences than war.

01:14:26.000 It's like when you talk, and like my dad fought in Korea, and you can...

01:14:31.000 That's exemplified by when you talk to a veteran, they don't talk.

01:14:34.000 They don't go like, hey man, we mowed down.

01:14:36.000 They don't want to talk about it.

01:14:38.000 You can't go to a veteran. 0.99

01:14:39.000 You couldn't go to my dad and be like, we really fucking whooped those Chinese. 1.00

01:14:42.000 My dad would be like, you don't know anything about war. 1.00

01:14:46.000 You don't know.

01:14:46.000 My dad didn't feel good about it.

01:14:48.000 Exactly.

01:14:49.000 I took my dad once.

01:14:51.000 This was a big mistake I made.

01:14:53.000 This is a true story.

01:14:54.000 Me and my friend, we came back from camp, and my dad would always take us to the movies.

01:14:58.000 So we would go to the movies all the time.

01:15:00.000 That was back when you read in the paper.

01:15:01.000 And we went to see Hamburger Hill, which was that Vietnam movie.

01:15:05.000 So we go there, me and my boy, my childhood friend and my dad, and during the movie, my dad's just going, ah, he's making noises. 0.99

01:15:12.000 Then he starts cursing in the movie theater, crowded movie, like, what the fuck is this? 0.98

01:15:16.000 What did you take me to? 1.00

01:15:17.000 This fucking shit! 1.00

01:15:19.000 And he's going like, this is fucking, is this entertaining? 1.00

01:15:22.000 And we're just sitting there, we're like eight years old, and then he leaves. 0.98

01:15:25.000 And me and my friend were just sitting there.

01:15:27.000 And then we left, we got in the car, and he's screaming at us while he's driving.

01:15:32.000 A few times, he lost it.

01:15:34.000 He would look back.

01:15:34.000 He wasn't even looking at the road.

01:15:36.000 And he was like, do you know what it's like if he died in your arms?

01:15:39.000 And we were sitting there, and my friend starts crying. 0.99

01:15:41.000 He's fucking crying. 0.99

01:15:42.000 He's scared. 1.00

01:15:43.000 And then there's quiet.

01:15:44.000 There was quiet.

01:15:46.000 And then he just goes, you guys want to get some pizza?

01:15:52.000 And we were just sitting there like this, like...

01:15:56.000 And we went and got pizza.

01:15:57.000 His moment passed.

01:15:59.000 It's a different thing.

01:16:01.000 Like you said, it's real.

01:16:02.000 It's as real as anything that's ever existed.

01:16:05.000 We're so detached from that now.

01:16:08.000 America's just...

01:16:09.000 Soft.

01:16:10.000 Wow.

01:16:11.000 Yeah.

01:16:11.000 Someone said something to me once, and it's a great thing, and I wish I could remember who said it, but I repeat it all the time, is that the worst thing that's ever happened to you is the worst thing that's ever happened to you.

01:16:21.000 So if the worst thing that's ever happened to you is someone popped your basketball, you're going to cry like a bitch. 1.00

01:16:28.000 You're like, I can't believe you broke my basketball! 0.99

01:16:32.000 You break Mike Tyson's basketball, he's going to be like, well, I guess I need a new basketball.

01:16:36.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:16:37.000 Yeah, it's relative.

01:16:38.000 It's relative.

01:16:39.000 And I think our society, our culture...

01:16:44.000 You know, this is an old expression.

01:16:46.000 That hard times make hard men.

01:16:50.000 Hard men make easy times.

01:16:53.000 Easy times make soft men.

01:16:54.000 It's an old expression, and it's very, very appropriate for today.

01:16:59.000 Because when people talk about the problems of today, and there are problems, but our problems are relatively insignificant in comparison to the problems of history.

01:17:10.000 But they're the only problems that we know.

01:17:12.000 The problems that we experience today are the most extreme problems that we've experienced. 0.99

01:17:17.000 But in comparison to the fucking barbarians storming Rome, or the fucking Aztecs slaughtering 80,000 people after the completion of temples, the fucking Mayans dying because of probably disease. 0.99

01:17:34.000 Native Americans experiencing the Europeans moving across the continent, destroying their way of life. 0.99

01:17:40.000 These fucking problems are the greatest problems we've ever known, but they're only great in comparison to the life that we've lived, and the life that we've lived is fairly soft. 0.99

01:17:50.000 Yeah, even just when you look at plagues, like the Spanish flu wiped out like 40, 50 million people, which is equivalent to like 400 million people now. 0.99

01:17:58.000 You got through COVID? How hard was it?

01:17:59.000 I got through COVID. What was the toughest part?

01:18:02.000 Well, because I'm a bitch, kind of. 1.00

01:18:05.000 I was like, I'm scared! 0.99

01:18:07.000 Jamie got through it the day.

01:18:08.000 Most of it was like the mental part was like, I was scared just because like, how the, you know, you turn on the media and everything's always like, they report on everything.

01:18:17.000 They're like, one person is paralyzed.

01:18:19.000 You're like, alright dude, that's one person.

01:18:21.000 Did you really have to, the media's gotta report everything because it's like, we're living through a media boom.

01:18:26.000 It's almost like, Too much.

01:18:28.000 There's not enough news for them to cover. 0.95

01:18:31.000 If you reported on fucking every single bad thing that happened, people would be so scared, and that's what they're doing. 0.97

01:18:39.000 That's the problem. 0.99

01:18:42.000 Let's say you live in Austin, Texas, and you report on the worst things that happened in Austin, Texas.

01:18:49.000 I mean, there's a car accident here and there.

01:18:51.000 There's a murder here and there.

01:18:53.000 There's a few robberies.

01:18:54.000 There's not a lot.

01:18:55.000 Probably a few shootings. 0.99

01:18:56.000 But if you look at the world, now you're talking about 7 point whatever billion fucking people. 0.98

01:19:03.000 If you have the bad news app on your phone and it's just only giving you bad news and it's just fucking coming at you and waves like a Twitter feed. 0.98

01:19:12.000 All bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. 0.96

01:19:15.000 You're scared to go outside.

01:19:16.000 Mm-hmm.

01:19:17.000 But we're not supposed to be getting...

01:19:19.000 People listening are like, what is that?

01:19:21.000 Yeah, it's a lighter.

01:19:23.000 It sounded like I was smoking crack. 1.00

01:19:24.000 It's goddamn Torch. 0.99

01:19:26.000 It's a Calibri. 0.99

01:19:27.000 The problem is we're getting too much data.

01:19:31.000 Like, it's not applicable to our life.

01:19:33.000 You're supposed to get the data that's applicable to your life, you know?

01:19:35.000 It was like I had the oxygen monitor during my COVID because, like, you know, you want to just make sure...

01:19:40.000 I had double pneumonia.

01:19:41.000 But because I had...

01:19:42.000 What's double pneumonia?

01:19:44.000 Each lung had inflammation and fluid and...

01:19:47.000 Usually there's only one?

01:19:48.000 You can get it on one side, I guess, but it doubles on both.

01:19:50.000 Sounds better.

01:19:51.000 Yeah, it's even at least.

01:19:53.000 Sounds like you're suffering more.

01:19:54.000 Yeah.

01:19:56.000 I'm trying to make it sound worse.

01:19:57.000 I had double pneumonia.

01:19:58.000 I had double pneumonia.

01:19:59.000 It was bad.

01:20:01.000 And a hangnail.

01:20:02.000 Yeah.

01:20:05.000 But because I had it, I was checking it more.

01:20:07.000 It's like the same thing with your phone and news.

01:20:09.000 It's like because we can, we just end up just checking it and worrying more and worrying more.

01:20:13.000 The amount that people bitch, the irony of it, the amount that people complain and think things are bad is actually an indication of how great things are. 0.97

01:20:22.000 It's like the point that people can disagree is actually a great sign. 0.62

01:20:28.000 Because you go to China, you can't disagree there.

01:20:31.000 If you're in a country where you can't have a civil disagreement, you're in a country that is not great.

01:20:36.000 Do you know what's going on with this guy Jack Ma?

01:20:39.000 No.

01:20:40.000 Jack Ma is a billionaire in China.

01:20:43.000 He's the head of something called Alibaba, which I believe is like the Amazon of China.

01:20:48.000 Yeah.

01:20:48.000 And he criticized...

01:20:51.000 Old neighborhood.

01:20:52.000 Yeah, I think it's like a genie, too.

01:20:54.000 Yeah, it was a genie.

01:20:56.000 Jack Ma criticized the Chinese government.

01:20:59.000 For being like behind the times.

01:21:01.000 Can't do that, yeah.

01:21:02.000 And he's vanished.

01:21:03.000 Yeah.

01:21:03.000 And he's a billionaire.

01:21:04.000 Yeah.

01:21:04.000 He's like one of the richest men in the world.

01:21:06.000 And they haven't seen him in two months.

01:21:08.000 Yeah, that happens, you know?

01:21:09.000 Guys get lost.

01:21:10.000 And then I read, like, there's a history of these things happening. 0.99

01:21:13.000 Whenever some billionaire from China talks some shit, they vanish them. 0.99

01:21:18.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:21:18.000 This guy hasn't been seen from. 0.99

01:21:20.000 There he is.

01:21:20.000 Whoopsie.

01:21:21.000 Vanishing barons.

01:21:22.000 Alibaba founder Jack Ma and four other Chinese billionaires who had mysteriously gone missing. 0.98

01:21:29.000 Oh shit, and he actually did an interview. 0.86

01:21:31.000 Jack Ma did an interview with Elon Musk. 0.99

01:21:33.000 You can watch it on YouTube where Elon Musk didn't like him.

01:21:38.000 It's an awkward interview.

01:21:40.000 Elon didn't like him? 0.98

01:21:41.000 Yeah, well Elon kind of like gets a little like snarky with him because he's asking like dumb questions. 0.99

01:21:45.000 What kind of dumb questions is he? 0.97

01:21:46.000 I don't remember, but... 0.99

01:21:47.000 He might not be able to be really good at English.

01:21:50.000 You know... 1.00

01:21:51.000 Maybe his questions were dumb. 0.99

01:21:52.000 Yeah, maybe he just didn't understand him, yeah. 0.99

01:21:56.000 He just got kind of annoyed with what he was asking, I remember.

01:21:59.000 See if you can find that.

01:22:01.000 Yeah.

01:22:03.000 Definitely, because I remember the kid.

01:22:04.000 The kid's a weird-looking kid, and I remember it.

01:22:05.000 Yeah, he's got a giant head, like he's too smart for his own good. 0.95

01:22:09.000 He literally looks like an egghead. 0.94

01:22:11.000 Yeah, it's like his face is normal size, but his head is like, I have too much knowledge!

01:22:17.000 Which is like, people who have weird stuff should look at the silver lining of that.

01:22:21.000 Like, you're memorable, at least, you know?

01:22:23.000 Yeah, here it is.

01:22:24.000 Jack Ma and Elon Musk are worried about a population collapse.

01:22:29.000 Collapse?

01:22:30.000 Yeah, that's something that people like on AI in Shanghai.

01:22:37.000 Oh, okay.

01:22:39.000 Yeah, I don't know what happened, but that dude has vanished.

01:22:43.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:22:43.000 That poor bastard. 1.00

01:22:45.000 Well, yeah. 1.00

01:22:45.000 He fucked up. 1.00

01:22:45.000 It's a symptom of... 1.00

01:22:47.000 It's a symptom in China of saying something that the government doesn't like.

01:22:51.000 I mean, they're a communist regime and, you know, that's what they did.

01:22:54.000 They got Hong Kong now and, you know, under the cover of COVID. Nobody talks about that conspiracy.

01:22:59.000 It's like they've been talking – like war is not going to be fought anymore where people storming your border or – that's antiquated.

01:23:07.000 You can't do that.

01:23:08.000 Everyone's got thermonuclear weapons.

01:23:10.000 And so now – Nations kind of fight the way women fight, passively, aggressively. 1.00

01:23:15.000 Subterfuge. 0.94

01:23:16.000 A little like, we love you!

01:23:17.000 And then there's a virus that gets crept across, and then we kind of just took Hong Kong with a security law under the cover of darkness.

01:23:24.000 Well, the weird thing is that there was these demonstrations in Hong Kong that were on the street forever.

01:23:28.000 Remember those?

01:23:29.000 Yeah.

01:23:29.000 For months and months and months, and now they've sort of mysteriously vanished.

01:23:32.000 They always have ended, yeah. 1.00

01:23:33.000 They threw water on that shit. 1.00

01:23:34.000 Yeah, and they've been wanting Hong Kong, and they've been vocal about it for a long time. 1.00

01:23:37.000 Like, hey, no, this is one China.

01:23:40.000 We're gonna take it back and now it's like they're taking it back and they're doing it in a very Smart like with the way a smart woman would do it like I don't see a way out of it for them either for China It's like for the Chinese people like I don't they're too powerful. 0.98

01:23:54.000 It's a they can um I don't know man.

01:23:56.000 It makes a good argument for how that system has can be advantageous You know like it people who are from there who come to America who understand the dangers of it? 0.94

01:24:06.000 It's a very eerie warning.

01:24:08.000 Yeah I had Melissa Chen on my podcast.

01:24:11.000 I follow her.

01:24:12.000 She's great.

01:24:13.000 She's really great.

01:24:14.000 But her worries about China are, you know, like a lot of people are like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:24:19.000 But like, no, no, no.

01:24:20.000 She really actually understands what the dangers are.

01:24:23.000 And that's the dangers of accepting authoritarianism.

01:24:28.000 Authoritarianism in this country is like, there's a lot of people that like it because it silences their opponents.

01:24:35.000 What's going on right now with Parler's getting shut down, and Amazon pulls it from their servers, and then Apple pulls it off of their App Store, and then Google pulls it off the Google Play Store, and everybody's like, yeah, good, they're spreading hate.

01:24:50.000 Like, hmm...

01:24:52.000 What percentage is spreading hate?

01:24:54.000 What's the numbers?

01:24:55.000 Is this wise that we shut down all discourse that you agree with? 0.94

01:25:01.000 Yeah, it's not good if someone gets on there and they're talking about violence against the government or violence against individuals or they're spreading racist ideas or whatever the fuck they're doing that's... 0.97

01:25:16.000 We're good to go. 0.97

01:25:43.000 Right.

01:25:47.000 Right.

01:26:01.000 Right.

01:26:11.000 Right. 0.71

01:26:18.000 Yeah, I know that you're a Nazi if you disagree. 0.74

01:26:20.000 Yes!

01:26:20.000 But I think what you're saying already happened because with this incident, you're going like, okay, we blame – Donald Trump's the president.

01:26:27.000 His rhetoric was kind of – you can interpret it as like he kind of gave them license to go do that.

01:26:34.000 So shouldn't the buck stop with Donald Trump?

01:26:37.000 Like Donald Trump – that's even a little bit of a debatable thing.

01:26:40.000 You're going like he was speaking.

01:26:41.000 Legally, you're going like that's a First Amendment thing.

01:26:44.000 He was speaking.

01:26:44.000 He said peacefully go over there.

01:26:45.000 It's interpretable.

01:26:46.000 Yeah, but he gives mixed signals.

01:26:47.000 Of course.

01:26:48.000 In my opinion is he did.

01:26:49.000 The problem with him is he says, we have to be strong.

01:26:50.000 You have to go march to the Capitol.

01:26:52.000 He gives mixed signals.

01:26:53.000 And he says, we have to do this correctly.

01:26:55.000 We have to respect our great country.

01:26:57.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1.00

01:26:58.000 What was that shit you said the other day? 1.00

01:26:59.000 Right, right. 1.00

01:26:59.000 You said that they don't respect anything other than strength. 1.00

01:27:02.000 Right.

01:27:03.000 You said, go march towards the Capitol.

01:27:05.000 You're firing people up.

01:27:07.000 And you're firing people up, but they live with their mom. 0.99

01:27:09.000 They're in the basement. 1.00

01:27:10.000 They have no fucking job. 1.00

01:27:12.000 Their identity is entirely associated with this movement. 1.00

01:27:15.000 Yeah.

01:27:16.000 No, my opinion is that.

01:27:17.000 But I'm saying legally, it's debatable.

01:27:20.000 Like what he said, you could argue in court.

01:27:22.000 But then the buck should stop there.

01:27:23.000 I mean, it's already happening where they're going, oh no, let's take this opportunity to shut down Parler.

01:27:28.000 Let's take this opportunity.

01:27:29.000 They're going after Andy Ngo's book now.

01:27:31.000 Let's get that out of stores.

01:27:33.000 They want to keep going because it's this orgy of kind of like, let's shut down this stuff that leads to...

01:27:40.000 And you're like, wait a second.

01:27:41.000 How can you prove it leads to that?

01:27:43.000 I mean... 1.00

01:27:43.000 Idiots are going to do what idiots do. 1.00

01:27:45.000 And to me, that was a coup attempt. 1.00

01:27:47.000 That was a coup attempt by guys who believe... 0.73

01:27:49.000 That's what you'd expect a coup attempt would look like by guys who believe that Hillary Clinton's a shapeshifter and she turns into a reptile. 0.98

01:27:56.000 That's what you'd imagine it would look like.

01:27:57.000 What are we doing?

01:27:58.000 Okay, let's go in there with Trump flags and take selfies. 1.00

01:28:02.000 God, it's so dumb. 0.99

01:28:04.000 And let's go kidnap Nancy Pelosi with zip ties. 1.00

01:28:06.000 Zip ties.

01:28:07.000 Yeah.

01:28:08.000 Stacks of zip ties, like more zip ties than there are members of the Senate.

01:28:11.000 Yeah. 0.58

01:28:11.000 If anything, it was just like an inept coup attempt. 0.58

01:28:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:28:14.000 Well, it's losers. 1.00

01:28:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:28:16.000 It's losers who decided this is their moment in the sun. 0.98

01:28:19.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:28:19.000 And meanwhile, they're all COVID deniers, so they're not wearing masks. 0.98

01:28:23.000 No. 1.00

01:28:23.000 Because they're so fucking stupid. 1.00

01:28:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:28:25.000 Like, that guy's sitting on Pelosi's office with his feet up on her table.

01:28:28.000 Yeah.

01:28:28.000 Like, what did he think was going to happen?

01:28:30.000 He thought he was winning.

01:28:32.000 He thought he was winning.

01:28:33.000 He was like, this is it.

01:28:34.000 It's funny.

01:28:34.000 Yeah.

01:28:34.000 And if you look at that guy...

01:28:36.000 Like, his bone structure is very primitive.

01:28:39.000 Yeah.

01:28:39.000 You ever see the photo of that guy?

01:28:40.000 Like, he has, like, a chimpanzee face.

01:28:42.000 Yeah, well, you know, I think...

01:28:44.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:28:45.000 Yeah, if you did, like, a DNA test of the people who did that, I think you would find that they're, like, barely sliding into human.

01:28:52.000 Like, it's a play at the plate.

01:28:54.000 Like, you gotta go check the instant replay and see if a finger got in there.

01:28:57.000 They're closer to that than they are, like...

01:28:59.000 Smarter people.

01:29:00.000 Well, that dude, that one particular dude, see, pull up a photo of that dude with his feet on Nancy Pelosi's desk.

01:29:07.000 He's very chimp-like in his bone structure. 1.00

01:29:10.000 Look, look at that.

01:29:12.000 But go to the one on the right-hand side.

01:29:14.000 Look how prominent his cheekbones are.

01:29:15.000 Right there.

01:29:16.000 That one down there in the corner where he's got the paper where he's holding up her mail.

01:29:20.000 Go look at that.

01:29:21.000 Come on, son.

01:29:24.000 Yeah, he does.

01:29:25.000 That is very chimp-like bone structure. 1.00

01:29:27.000 Yeah.

01:29:29.000 Yes. 0.99

01:29:31.000 Look, evolution is not a fucking fair race. 1.00

01:29:34.000 No, it's not, man. 0.99

01:29:35.000 I realize that when I talk to guys like Elon Musk.

01:29:37.000 I'm like, oh, you're way ahead of me.

01:29:40.000 Yeah, he's just on a different level.

01:29:43.000 Yeah, I think there's like four levels of humans.

01:29:46.000 There's like, you got your really dumb, you got your brilliant, you got guys who can kind of look at the brilliant and say he's brilliant, and then you got guys a little below who can look at the guys who know that the guys are brilliant and go like, that guy's smart.

01:29:58.000 Right. 0.97

01:29:58.000 And then you got your Elon Musk. 0.97

01:30:00.000 Elon Musk is the brilliant at the top.

01:30:02.000 Yeah.

01:30:02.000 I've got ideas.

01:30:03.000 I've got ideas.

01:30:04.000 I can't stop them.

01:30:04.000 Yeah.

01:30:05.000 You're talking.

01:30:06.000 He's looking at us like we're going like, ooh, ha, ha, ha.

01:30:08.000 Every time we speak, he just hears chimp noises. 1.00

01:30:10.000 Yeah.

01:30:11.000 Exactly.

01:30:12.000 I have that feeling every time I talk to him. 1.00

01:30:14.000 Like, don't say something stupid. 1.00

01:30:15.000 Don't say something stupid. 1.00

01:30:16.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:30:17.000 But to him, everything's being a little like, yeah. 1.00

01:30:20.000 Everything's stupid. 1.00

01:30:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:30:21.000 He's talking.

01:30:21.000 He's like, sorry, engineering was happening here.

01:30:24.000 I'm like, What's going on?

01:30:27.000 Yeah, this is- Figure out differential equations. 1.00

01:30:29.000 Yeah, how do you govern that shit? 1.00

01:30:30.000 How do you govern that shit without being a dictatorship? 1.00

01:30:33.000 Because I look at Rome and like they had the kings, then they had democracy for a little bit. 1.00

01:30:38.000 They tried to do the Greek thing, but then it was just a succession of Caesars, which are essentially dictators that kind of had the longest success.

01:30:45.000 Queen Elizabeth, the same thing, you know, just a great era. 0.99

01:30:49.000 She was a dick. 1.00

01:30:50.000 She was fucking, and she was fierce! 1.00

01:30:52.000 She was a fierce bitch. 1.00

01:30:54.000 Well, it really is interesting because it seems like our founding fathers kind of knew what the pitfalls were. 1.00

01:30:59.000 So they tried to put a bunch of checks and balances in place so no one could ever be a real dictator.

01:31:05.000 That's why they figured out the hassle.

01:31:07.000 Representatives, that's why they figured out.

01:31:09.000 The whole system, Congress, the Senate, all these different things, like the Electoral College, they tried to map it out so no one could ever completely dominate the populace.

01:31:20.000 But one of the things they fucked up is this idea of...

01:31:23.000 Slavery was a big one, too. 0.78

01:31:24.000 That's a giant one?

01:31:25.000 That's a big one.

01:31:25.000 We're all free.

01:31:26.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:31:27.000 But also... 1.00

01:31:28.000 That's weird.

01:31:28.000 The real problem was being able to vote for someone who runs the whole thing, because it's a popularity contest.

01:31:36.000 And the thing about Trump is he's the first popular person to enter the popularity contest.

01:31:42.000 Individually, like independently popular.

01:31:44.000 Yeah.

01:31:45.000 Like that had never happened before.

01:31:46.000 Right.

01:31:46.000 And he hijacked it.

01:31:47.000 Yeah.

01:31:48.000 Someone who has like mastered reality TV and Twitter, which are like the...

01:31:52.000 The two mediums that became what we all are kind of zombies to.

01:31:58.000 Well, and even before that, it was pop culture.

01:32:00.000 This guy was in rap songs, and he was in Home Alone.

01:32:03.000 I mean, he was famous for being a baller a long time ago.

01:32:07.000 Yeah, he made himself a celebrity.

01:32:08.000 He's like a comic.

01:32:10.000 Even his Twitter looks like an unhinged comic. 1.00

01:32:15.000 You know how comics pay attention to the one negative comment and we'll respond to it like idiots? 1.00

01:32:20.000 Like, we're talking about my Twitter. 1.00

01:32:21.000 It's like if I was president.

01:32:22.000 I mean, it's not a good thing.

01:32:23.000 Well, how about when Megyn Kelly was interviewing him? 0.97

01:32:27.000 She asked him a question about disparaging women and calling women pigs. 0.98

01:32:32.000 He goes... 0.98

01:32:33.000 Only Rosie O'Donnell. 0.90

01:32:34.000 I mean, how funny is that?

01:32:37.000 Timing.

01:32:37.000 Perfect.

01:32:38.000 I mean, crush.

01:32:40.000 He's got great timing.

01:32:41.000 I mean, he's used to working the crowd.

01:32:43.000 How about, like, I don't trust him, you know, with him in charge of it.

01:32:49.000 And when Hillary goes, like, I don't trust him with putting people in.

01:32:52.000 He goes, no, I'd put you in prison.

01:32:55.000 Yeah, because you'd be in jail.

01:32:56.000 Because you'd be in jail.

01:32:57.000 And he nails it, and the audience is like... 0.99

01:33:00.000 But then we'd realize that we had fucked up. 0.98

01:33:03.000 We'd let something out of the bottle. 0.98

01:33:05.000 We let a genie out of the bottle. 1.00

01:33:06.000 It's going to be very tough to put that fucker back in. 1.00

01:33:08.000 I don't know how we return to normal, man. 0.99

01:33:10.000 It's going to be even like...

01:33:11.000 Even when you listen to politicians now, they're going to try to...

01:33:14.000 The center and normal, reasonable rhetoric just is not entertaining.

01:33:20.000 And now we want...

01:33:22.000 Entertaining, and I blame the media.

01:33:24.000 I really go back.

01:33:25.000 My personal opinion is the media did not adapt to the digital age.

01:33:30.000 They started giving articles away free online, dependent on ads instead of subscriptions, and they increasingly got more fictionalized.

01:33:38.000 Clickbait.

01:33:38.000 More clickbait headlines, and then it just kept going and going and going.

01:33:42.000 Now it's just like car crashes.

01:33:44.000 Right, but what are they going to do?

01:33:45.000 They had to survive.

01:33:47.000 Yeah, I mean, I get it.

01:33:48.000 I mean, the internet came and this is something we have to adapt to.

01:33:53.000 Like, we can't go away.

01:33:53.000 It's great.

01:33:54.000 I mean, this show is because, this show is great.

01:33:56.000 You know, this is the only place you can listen to, you know, Michael Kosta and then you can also listen to astronauts and...

01:34:03.000 Cornell West. 0.93

01:34:04.000 Cornell West and fucking the greatest thinkers of the day. 0.99

01:34:06.000 Elon Musk, yeah. 0.99

01:34:07.000 Yeah.

01:34:08.000 And it's like for a long time and you dig it because they're interesting people.

01:34:11.000 So the internet gave birth to that.

01:34:13.000 But then like, you know, without it, there's no yang without a yang. 0.98

01:34:15.000 And then also we got, you know, guys who believe that reptiles are, you know, turning into Democrats and Democrats are drinking children's blood under pizza restaurants and shit like that. 0.99

01:34:25.000 Because that's fucking entertaining. 0.97

01:34:27.000 You're not going to get a lot of followers if you're saying, hey guys, the right's kind of weird and the left's getting weird. 1.00

01:34:32.000 They're going, fuck that guy. 1.00

01:34:33.000 I want to hear about Hillary Clinton turning into a reptile and sucking off puppies. 1.00

01:34:37.000 Politicians are celebrities now. 0.99

01:34:38.000 Nancy Pelosi is this form of celebrity now. 1.00

01:34:41.000 Fucking chefs are celebrities, guys. 1.00

01:34:42.000 Get back in the fucking kitchen, you fat fuck. 1.00

01:34:44.000 I don't want to see your Crocs and your fucking sauce-stained schmuck. 1.00

01:34:48.000 What are you doing outside of the kitchen? 1.00

01:34:51.000 Why am I listening to a fucking chef? 1.00

01:34:53.000 They're artists. 1.00

01:34:53.000 Do your drugs back there. 1.00

01:34:55.000 They got to do coke because they work long hours and like get back.

01:34:59.000 One of them was entertaining and unfortunately he's not here.

01:35:02.000 Yeah.

01:35:03.000 He was the most. 0.99

01:35:04.000 Yeah, but he kind of fucking ruined it, man, because he was so dope. 0.99

01:35:07.000 Now I got to listen to fucking Mario Batella, you know. 0.98

01:35:11.000 Yeah, I wish he was still around. 0.99

01:35:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:35:13.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:35:14.000 He was so great. 1.00

01:35:17.000 He was a real dude.

01:35:19.000 And then it becomes pop, just like everything.

01:35:23.000 What Austin's scared of with this California invasion.

01:35:27.000 Yeah, well, Austin's...

01:35:29.000 Not you, but they're like, yeah, let's keep Austin Austin.

01:35:31.000 Well, they're worried about Texas in general becoming blue versus red.

01:35:36.000 And I think what Texas needs is a blue spot in a red state.

01:35:40.000 I think they're better off with that.

01:35:42.000 They're better off with the regulations of the Republicans where they allow the restaurants to stay open and they allow business and they allow even art, like stand-up comedy.

01:35:51.000 You know, I got a show tonight with Chappelle at Stubbs.

01:35:54.000 Barbecue.

01:35:55.000 Just a little show.

01:35:57.000 We're doing that because we can do it in Texas.

01:36:00.000 Where it makes sense.

01:36:01.000 Where they say, okay, we're going to test the people.

01:36:04.000 We're going to COVID test the entire crowd.

01:36:06.000 Can we jam 400 people into this place?

01:36:08.000 Are you testing them?

01:36:09.000 Yeah.

01:36:10.000 Okay.

01:36:11.000 Yeah.

01:36:11.000 And they're like, okay, good.

01:36:12.000 In California, you can't do anything.

01:36:14.000 That's a great point, man. 1.00

01:36:15.000 You can't do fucking anything. 0.99

01:36:16.000 You can't do anything. 0.99

01:36:18.000 And they're like, we need to protect people.

01:36:20.000 We need to protect people. 0.99

01:36:22.000 Except the people that are losing their fucking jobs. 0.98

01:36:24.000 Except people that are losing their business they've had for 30 years in their family. 0.99

01:36:28.000 They're losing it because of incompetent government that doesn't recognize the fact that there's consequences to all decisions.

01:36:33.000 And you can't just decide that you're going to stop business.

01:36:37.000 You have to think, like, well, what does this do?

01:36:39.000 What's the trickle-down effect?

01:36:40.000 Right.

01:36:40.000 What does this do for suicide, depression, alcohol and drug abuse?

01:36:44.000 What does this do to domestic abuse, child abuse?

01:36:46.000 There are consequences to this.

01:36:48.000 How bad is this?

01:36:51.000 We're in a bad space, but is it the worst space?

01:36:53.000 No, it's not.

01:36:54.000 Adjust!

01:36:55.000 Adjust!

01:36:55.000 You can't argue that, man.

01:36:58.000 It's really exposed the failure for us to be prepared.

01:37:05.000 The failure in bureaucracy.

01:37:06.000 Yeah.

01:37:08.000 Yeah, because it's a real Sophie's Choice, but...

01:37:10.000 Sophie's Choice, that's a good one.

01:37:12.000 Yeah, that's a real Sophie's Choice where you got to choose between... 0.72

01:37:15.000 Explain that to people.

01:37:15.000 What is Sophie's Choice?

01:37:16.000 Sophie's Choice is like she had to choose...

01:37:17.000 It's a great movie by...

01:37:19.000 A great movie with Meryl Streep, you know, that a lot of people just were...

01:37:22.000 You're supposed to read the book in high school, but then you just saw the movie and you're like, yeah, I read it.

01:37:25.000 Because it's like a thousand pages.

01:37:27.000 Yeah.

01:37:28.000 But it's a great...

01:37:29.000 What it basically means is you have to choose between two bad options.

01:37:34.000 She had to choose between which kid she was going to pick during the Holocaust. 0.83

01:37:38.000 And of course she went with the guy because, you know, old Spartan rules. 1.00

01:37:41.000 You know, the kid can lift shit. 0.99

01:37:43.000 I'm kidding, ladies. 0.99

01:37:44.000 But I don't remember which one he picked.

01:37:45.000 I don't remember which one she picked.

01:37:47.000 And I just called her him, but I don't know what she's doing these days.

01:37:49.000 Well, she might be him now.

01:37:50.000 Who knows?

01:37:50.000 She could just go back and forth.

01:37:51.000 What is that?

01:37:52.000 Spoilers.

01:37:53.000 She chose him?

01:37:54.000 Spoiler! 0.88

01:37:55.000 From the 80s!

01:37:56.000 What was Sophie's choice? 0.98

01:37:58.000 How come she hasn't been fucking put on notice for that? 0.98

01:38:00.000 She chose the boy over the girl. 0.99

01:38:01.000 I'll put her on notice.

01:38:03.000 It's fiction.

01:38:03.000 Yeah.

01:38:04.000 And you could do that back then.

01:38:05.000 Today they would rewrite it.

01:38:06.000 They would.

01:38:07.000 Like she chose the girl.

01:38:08.000 She chose a trans girl.

01:38:09.000 She chose a trans girl.

01:38:10.000 Yeah.

01:38:11.000 So yeah, it's Sophie's choice between the economy and ICU's being overrun. 0.91

01:38:17.000 You gotta think that out a little better.

01:38:19.000 Even Cuomo's admitting it now.

01:38:21.000 He's going like, we can't continue to do this.

01:38:23.000 You're like, dude, you should have kind of been sympathizing with that a little bit more a little earlier.

01:38:29.000 Well, in his defense, no one knew.

01:38:31.000 They didn't know.

01:38:32.000 They didn't know what this was gonna be.

01:38:34.000 They're all figuring it out as they go along.

01:38:36.000 One of the problems with Monday morning quarterbacking is everybody's looking back at his decisions.

01:38:41.000 And saying, you know, hey, you should have done this, you should have done that. 0.99

01:38:44.000 We didn't know what the fuck it was. 0.99

01:38:46.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:38:46.000 We thought it was going to kill everybody. 0.99

01:38:48.000 We didn't know what it was.

01:38:49.000 Yeah.

01:38:49.000 We didn't know we'd be in a room right now with me, maskless, with two people that have survived COVID. Yeah.

01:38:55.000 We didn't know.

01:38:55.000 Yeah.

01:38:56.000 And I am a survivor.

01:38:57.000 I'm not a victim.

01:38:58.000 I'm a survivor.

01:38:59.000 You're a survivor.

01:38:59.000 I'm a survivor.

01:39:00.000 I had a stomach ache.

01:39:01.000 Do you have the eye of the tiger?

01:39:02.000 I got the eye of the tiger.

01:39:03.000 I'm a survivor.

01:39:04.000 I was listening to it while I had COVID. Yeah.

01:39:06.000 I went on tour with that guy.

01:39:08.000 The guy from Survivor.

01:39:10.000 Me and Charlie Murphy and John Heffron.

01:39:13.000 We did a Real Men of Comedy tour.

01:39:16.000 It was a Bud Light Maxim tour.

01:39:18.000 And the Survivor guy, the singer, rest in peace.

01:39:23.000 They would sing songs, like the Real Men of Genius.

01:39:26.000 Remember those Bud Light songs?

01:39:29.000 You remember those, Jamie?

01:39:30.000 Yeah, I was thinking like, that's why, because they're sponsored by me.

01:39:32.000 Yeah, he would sing those songs at the shows.

01:39:35.000 It was really fun.

01:39:35.000 He was a good dude, man.

01:39:37.000 He was a fun guy.

01:39:38.000 Eye of the Tiger guy.

01:39:39.000 And he would sing songs for Bud Light at these shows that we did.

01:39:44.000 It was really fun.

01:39:45.000 That's dope. 0.93

01:39:46.000 I went on tour with Charlie Murphy.

01:39:48.000 And Donnell, when I was first starting comedy...

01:39:51.000 What year was this?

01:39:52.000 This was 2005 or 2006, right when Chappelle's show was like...

01:39:55.000 That's right before we did our tour.

01:39:57.000 We did our tour in 2007. Yeah, and it was like, man, that was crazy how popular that show was.

01:40:03.000 I remember walking in the mall with Charlie Murphy and everyone was like, fuck your couch, Charlie Murphy! 0.95

01:40:09.000 And one day, me and Charlie Murphy went alone to the mall because I had to buy underwear because I wasn't like an experienced road comic. 0.99

01:40:16.000 I was just selling Donnell's posters and like doing five minutes.

01:40:19.000 And me and him, I went to the mall because I had to buy underwear because I ran out of underwear.

01:40:23.000 And it was just me and him walking.

01:40:25.000 And he's just every step of the walk. 1.00

01:40:28.000 I'm rich, bitch! 1.00

01:40:31.000 I mean, that show was a cultural phenomenon. 0.99

01:40:33.000 It's the greatest sketch comedy show in the history of the world and it only ran two seasons.

01:40:38.000 Yeah.

01:40:38.000 It's amazing.

01:40:39.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:40:40.000 Comedy Central fucked it up. 0.81

01:40:41.000 Yeah. 0.87

01:40:42.000 Well, they did that third season without Chappelle.

01:40:44.000 Yeah, you know.

01:40:46.000 And Donnell hosted it, and they're still tight.

01:40:50.000 Him and Dave are still tight.

01:40:51.000 Donnell's going to be there tonight.

01:40:52.000 Yeah, Donnell's my old...

01:40:53.000 When do you fly back?

01:40:55.000 I'm going to L.A. tomorrow.

01:40:56.000 So you're free tonight?

01:40:58.000 Yeah.

01:40:58.000 Come to the show.

01:40:59.000 Yeah, man.

01:40:59.000 Donnell and me go back.

01:41:00.000 Donnell got me into comedy.

01:41:01.000 Really?

01:41:02.000 Donnell's the guy that kind of got me into comedy.

01:41:04.000 I quit because I was like, I got shot and then I was having panic.

01:41:08.000 When did you get shot?

01:41:09.000 I wanted to ask you about that.

01:41:10.000 What happened?

01:41:11.000 The fictional story or the real one?

01:41:12.000 The one I tell girls? 0.99

01:41:14.000 The real one.

01:41:14.000 Oh, the real one.

01:41:15.000 Okay.

01:41:15.000 Because I used to say, hey, I was over at Darforge saving children.

01:41:20.000 You know, you take some fire.

01:41:21.000 It's what you do when you're saving the world.

01:41:22.000 But no, when I first started doing comedy, I was working in nightclubs.

01:41:27.000 And I used to work at this nightclub that was kind of thuggish.

01:41:30.000 It was like a thuggish, like real...

01:41:32.000 Real thugs went there, and my friend was a promoter, and he would carry thousands of dollars of cash with him, and so it was like an attempted robbery, and yeah, I got shot point-blank range, 38, right here in the leg.

01:41:46.000 Right by my piece.

01:41:48.000 Yeah, it was close. 1.00

01:41:49.000 Thank God my penis isn't bigger, you know? 1.00

01:41:52.000 Missed. 1.00

01:41:52.000 Right there, and it lodged itself in my butt cheek. 1.00

01:41:55.000 And then a couple years later, the bullet came out.

01:41:58.000 Funny story, when the surgeon, they took it out, because a foreign object will slowly work its way to the surface, like your body will reject it.

01:42:06.000 So it got to the point where I could feel it, and then I had surgery, they put me under, took it out, and I remember they were taking it out, and I was coming to, and the surgeon was down there with the nurse, and I just farted right in their face, because I was up in stirrups.

01:42:18.000 So when I came to, it was like a huge fart.

01:42:20.000 It was hilarious.

01:42:21.000 That's hilarious.

01:42:22.000 I was doing social work when I got the x-ray right before I went to the surgeon.

01:42:25.000 I was doing social work.

01:42:26.000 So I worked with like a lot of older Christian ladies. 1.00

01:42:30.000 And I went and got the x-ray and brought it back to my office.

01:42:32.000 And they all wanted to see the bullet.

01:42:34.000 And I hadn't looked at the x-ray yet. 0.94

01:42:35.000 And they all gathered around all these older Christian women and I took the x-ray out and put it against the window and it was like you could just see my penis like it was like my limp penis because it was an x-ray of my pelvis so it shows up on the x-ray you saw the bullet it was like a and then like my penis just like a ghost penis yeah it's like a police sketch of my penis like the outline of it and they were like oh and they all kind of like turned away it was hilarious yeah it's hilarious yeah Did the guy shoot you because he wanted to make a point? 0.98

01:43:06.000 He was robbing.

01:43:07.000 He was trying to rob because he knew that...

01:43:09.000 But why did he shoot you?

01:43:10.000 So what happened was, like, we were getting in the car and...

01:43:14.000 Notice I said he.

01:43:15.000 I assumed you weren't robbed by a woman.

01:43:16.000 Yeah, which is kind of like, Joe. 0.98

01:43:18.000 Sexist. 0.62

01:43:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:43:19.000 Why couldn't a woman shoot me? 1.00

01:43:21.000 They're capable. 0.99

01:43:22.000 They are.

01:43:23.000 Yeah.

01:43:23.000 They should be equally represented in prison as well.

01:43:25.000 Occasionally they are when they're on coke.

01:43:27.000 Yeah, we need to put more women in prison for equal representation in prison. 1.00

01:43:30.000 So I look back and I saw him, he had a mask on, gloves, he was coming, like as we were getting in the car, And I just made a decision to try to get in the car and tell my friend to drive, which was stupid. 0.91

01:43:40.000 He kind of sped up and then kind of fell into the car.

01:43:43.000 It was a Jeep, thank God, because I was higher up.

01:43:45.000 Because if it was lower, it might have been, you know, somewhere here.

01:43:48.000 And then the gun was kind of like in the car.

01:43:50.000 I saw it and I just grabbed his arm.

01:43:52.000 And then I like pushed it down and he fired.

01:43:54.000 So it just went bang.

01:43:55.000 And then, yeah, I got shot right there.

01:43:58.000 And then like I kind of, I remember making a like concerted decision to pretend like I was hurt.

01:44:04.000 It was just a decision on the moment.

01:44:05.000 Like I just like really hurt even though I didn't know if I was or wasn't.

01:44:08.000 So I kind of just like slithered down on him and he kicked me a few times I remember and then he ran and the cops they caught him because that club was always a problem so cops were always close by.

01:44:19.000 What year was this?

01:44:20.000 This was 2001. May 2001. So you just started?

01:44:25.000 I just started.

01:44:26.000 I just started comedy.

01:44:28.000 And you kept going after that?

01:44:29.000 Yeah, see, I get emotional when I think about it because it really derailed.

01:44:33.000 Well, I quit for a while because I get on stage and I start having these panic attacks and I didn't know what that was.

01:44:38.000 Like, I was totally...

01:44:40.000 I didn't know what...

01:44:40.000 I'd get on the train and I'd start bugging out.

01:44:42.000 Like, I was cool for a little while.

01:44:43.000 Like, right afterwards, I got right back to it.

01:44:45.000 And I think I even did an SNL audition with Jason Steinberg who set me up with it at Stand Up New York.

01:44:51.000 It was the year that Rob Riggle got it.

01:44:53.000 And I did it like I limped up on stage.

01:44:56.000 It was like two nights and I bombed.

01:44:59.000 And then the panic attacks started happening and then I didn't know what those were.

01:45:02.000 I was like, what is this?

01:45:04.000 And it was like PTSD, I guess.

01:45:06.000 And I'm an anxious person to begin with.

01:45:10.000 Yeah.

01:45:11.000 It was a weird thing.

01:45:11.000 And then I kind of quit comedy for a couple years and Donnell...

01:45:14.000 Donnell's the guy that kind of like I would do...

01:45:16.000 I became friends with him through this guy, Adam.

01:45:20.000 And then he would have me on his show once a week at this place, Miriam Square on Upper East Side.

01:45:27.000 And then he took me on the road and that's how I really started again in like 2005, 2006 when Chappelle's show was hit and I became friends with Donnell and...

01:45:34.000 And that was it.

01:45:34.000 He would encourage me.

01:45:35.000 He was like, yo, son, you're funny.

01:45:36.000 Son, son!

01:45:39.000 I mean, he's been saying son for 20 years.

01:45:41.000 Forever!

01:45:42.000 Yeah.

01:45:42.000 He probably calls his son, son, son!

01:45:44.000 Son!

01:45:45.000 Yo, son, come in here, son!

01:45:47.000 Donnell's a national treasure.

01:45:49.000 I love that dude.

01:45:50.000 I owe him really a lot.

01:45:51.000 He was the guy who got me into it again.

01:45:54.000 So, thank you, Donnell.

01:45:55.000 He's been a good friend ever since.

01:45:56.000 He's a wild kid.

01:45:58.000 He's a hilarious dude.

01:45:59.000 He's so funny, dude.

01:46:00.000 He shakes the room.

01:46:01.000 He's one of those guys that when he connects, like...

01:46:06.000 I remember he used to do these old black rooms where I would start.

01:46:10.000 He would put me up, this place called Pokeknockers, where somebody got...

01:46:13.000 What's that called?

01:46:14.000 Pokeknockers in Brooklyn.

01:46:16.000 Pokeknockers. 0.98

01:46:16.000 Spell it. 0.98

01:46:17.000 P-O-K and then knockers. 1.00

01:46:21.000 And it was like, it was a black room.

01:46:23.000 I mean, like, I walked in and it was like everyone thought I was a cop kind of thing, you know?

01:46:27.000 And he would rip people, he would host, and like anyone who walked by the stage, he would just rip them.

01:46:33.000 And I remember one night I bombed so bad that when I got off, it was like...

01:46:40.000 I was scared to just walk out.

01:46:42.000 And I was hoping there was another exit.

01:46:44.000 You ever bomb so bad you want to leave your jacket somewhere?

01:46:48.000 It was one of those.

01:46:50.000 And he would just rip.

01:46:51.000 I mean, he would rip.

01:46:52.000 It was the first time I saw Burr.

01:46:54.000 And Burr walked in, just crushed.

01:46:57.000 Him and Rich Voss were the only two guys you would see go into those black rooms and just level.

01:47:01.000 And I remember the first thing Burr said, because this show was in Da Hood.

01:47:05.000 It was in Bed-Stuy.

01:47:06.000 And the first thing Burr said when he got up there, he was like, ah!

01:47:08.000 Good to be back in the old neighborhood.

01:47:13.000 No fear, just kind of, and then did him and just leveled.

01:47:17.000 He's a national treasure.

01:47:19.000 There's a few of those guys out there that just no matter what happens, they're still swinging.

01:47:23.000 Chappelle's one of them.

01:47:24.000 There's a few of those guys, no matter what happens, they're still just swinging.

01:47:27.000 Just swinging.

01:47:29.000 They don't stop what they're doing.

01:47:32.000 People don't realize how fragile real comedy actually is.

01:47:36.000 It's like, they want to take what you're saying as fact.

01:47:40.000 Like, this is what you really think.

01:47:41.000 No, they're saying that because it's a funny thing to say.

01:47:44.000 Patrice had the best take on it. 0.96

01:47:46.000 There was a time where Opie and Anthony got in trouble for something, and Patrice was on this talk show and he was talking to her about it.

01:47:52.000 There was this woman on the show who was saying, like, this is inappropriate. 1.00

01:47:56.000 You should never say this.

01:47:57.000 She goes, you've got to understand that...

01:47:59.000 When a comedian says something, whether it makes you laugh or it makes you angry, it's all coming from the same place.

01:48:06.000 They're trying to make you laugh.

01:48:09.000 The intention is important.

01:48:10.000 They're just trying to make you laugh.

01:48:12.000 They're not trying to take down the world, unless they're terrible, unless they're really a bad person.

01:48:17.000 Most comedians are not.

01:48:18.000 But we don't necessarily know if something's going to hit until you say it.

01:48:22.000 But the whole intention is just to get a good feeling from the audience.

01:48:28.000 You want everybody to go, bah! 0.99

01:48:29.000 I can't believe you said that, Giannis!

01:48:31.000 That's the whole reason to say it.

01:48:33.000 Yeah, and usually the guys who are saying all the right things, those are the ones you gotta watch.

01:48:37.000 Vince Champ, Bill Cosby, I'm clean, don't curse.

01:48:41.000 So true, right?

01:48:43.000 So true.

01:48:43.000 People don't understand.

01:48:44.000 Bad people don't announce they're bad.

01:48:46.000 Yes.

01:48:47.000 Like, you know what I mean? 1.00

01:48:47.000 If you're a serial killer, you don't walk in and go, hey, can I rape you? 1.00

01:48:50.000 It's like, they pretend to be the opposite of who they are. 0.93

01:48:54.000 So you should want comedians to say bad things.

01:48:57.000 And like, yeah, you're trying to define comedy out of existence.

01:49:00.000 Like, the class clown wasn't funny because he said the right thing at the right time.

01:49:04.000 Right.

01:49:04.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:49:05.000 It's like, and that's how- He was the guy that took a chance.

01:49:07.000 Huh?

01:49:07.000 He was the guy that took a chance.

01:49:08.000 Yeah, he was the guy who said the wrong thing, who farted during Quaker meeting, you know? 0.96

01:49:12.000 Yeah.

01:49:12.000 That was like the hardest I've still ever laughed in my entire life.

01:49:15.000 I went to Quaker school for a little while.

01:49:17.000 To be a Quaker?

01:49:18.000 It was like, well, Brooklyn Friends.

01:49:20.000 So Quakers had schools called like Friends.

01:49:23.000 You went to a Quaker school?

01:49:23.000 I went to a Quaker school for a little while, yeah.

01:49:25.000 Was your family Quakers?

01:49:26.000 No, Greek Orthodox, but like anyone could go and, you know.

01:49:29.000 Why did you go?

01:49:30.000 My parents just put me there, you know.

01:49:32.000 They thought it was a better school for you?

01:49:33.000 I thought it was a better school.

01:49:34.000 I went from public school.

01:49:35.000 I was failing out and they were like, let's put them in.

01:49:37.000 It was a private school, you know.

01:49:38.000 So I went there, and it's a Quaker school.

01:49:40.000 So it's not like an elite, it's like a Quaker school.

01:49:43.000 So it's like they have a different, you get a pass or a fail, and it's really cool.

01:49:46.000 I respect the Quakers, you know?

01:49:48.000 They didn't do slavery, and they're cool.

01:49:50.000 That's a positive.

01:49:52.000 They were on the oats. 1.00

01:49:53.000 They were on the, they make oats and shit. 0.99

01:49:55.000 They do a little inbreeding and whatnot, but you know, you know. 0.99

01:49:57.000 Every now and then.

01:49:58.000 Every now and then. 1.00

01:49:58.000 You gotta fuck your cousin. 1.00

01:50:00.000 Yeah, because I mean, there's not that many Quakers around. 1.00

01:50:02.000 Yeah, that's a problem.

01:50:03.000 Yeah, a lot of it is sitting in silence.

01:50:04.000 That's their thing.

01:50:05.000 So when you go to a Quaker school, every day you start the day with a moment of silence, the whole school is quiet, and then once a week the whole school gathers for 45 minutes and everyone sits in silence unless God moves you to speak.

01:50:18.000 Did you fart? 0.92

01:50:19.000 It was my friend who farted and it was the funniest fucking thing that's ever happened because the headmaster was sitting right in front of us and he turned around and he still had that pre-coffee morning face anger and the fart and the sound of the fart in that context and his turnaround and it was, 0.97

01:50:36.000 you know when you're a kid you can't stop laughing? 0.97

01:50:40.000 And the memory, I just heard the fart in my head for 45 minutes, and I kept laughing.

01:50:45.000 We got in huge trouble.

01:50:46.000 What kind of trouble?

01:50:47.000 Like, we got kicked out.

01:50:49.000 Getting kicked out of a silent meeting, because we couldn't stop laughing.

01:50:51.000 We'd stop laughing, and then I'd go, and we'd start laughing again.

01:50:56.000 Dude, the fart, I mean, as a comedian, like, you're going after people.

01:51:00.000 Like, these journalists are going after people where we're...

01:51:03.000 Our whole field is to chase the fart, the king of comedy.

01:51:07.000 That's the funniest thing, is the fart.

01:51:10.000 It's the king.

01:51:11.000 I understand the journalist, though.

01:51:13.000 It's a target.

01:51:15.000 If that's what you're doing with your life, you've got to define targets and attack.

01:51:20.000 I get it.

01:51:21.000 I understand even when they attack me.

01:51:22.000 I understand what they're doing.

01:51:24.000 I get it.

01:51:25.000 If they wanted to have a one-on-one conversation, I think it would be better.

01:51:29.000 The problem with writing anything down without any interruption or any interjection or any explanation...

01:51:36.000 You're distorting what a thing is.

01:51:37.000 Yeah.

01:51:38.000 You change what a thing is by putting it in quotes and just writing it.

01:51:42.000 You make out a comic to be this bad person.

01:51:46.000 You change what it is.

01:51:48.000 Yeah, it's like taking a fish out of water.

01:51:49.000 Comedy is nothing without context.

01:51:51.000 Yes.

01:51:51.000 You can take a fish out of water and try to judge that fish, but that's not...

01:51:54.000 It's out of context.

01:51:55.000 Out of context.

01:51:56.000 Have you ever invited any of these cocksuckers on your show after they say something about you? 1.00

01:52:00.000 No. 0.76

01:52:00.000 They're too scared to. 0.76

01:52:01.000 They wouldn't come.

01:52:02.000 I don't have to.

01:52:03.000 It's okay.

01:52:04.000 Yeah, sorry I'm getting riled up for you.

01:52:06.000 No, but you don't need to for me, man.

01:52:08.000 Yeah.

01:52:09.000 I mean, for whatever reason, I have an understanding perspective. 0.99

01:52:14.000 Because you could whoop ass. 0.99

01:52:15.000 I don't know if that's it. 0.99

01:52:17.000 I've thought about it in a bunch of different ways, and I put myself in their position.

01:52:21.000 If I wasn't a funny person or a person who...

01:52:24.000 Desired to be funny, and I looked at it a certain way.

01:52:27.000 I think ultimately all of this battle, the pros and cons, all of this chaos that's going on, if we play our cards right, it's going to lead to a better world.

01:52:39.000 I really believe that.

01:52:41.000 I really do.

01:52:41.000 I'm an ultimate optimist, and I think that...

01:52:44.000 Even the people that are misrepresenting people, it gives birth to discussion and conversation.

01:52:51.000 And the people that are wise and that really understand what's going on, they're gonna defend free speech and free thought.

01:53:00.000 They're going to defend comedy because everybody loves comedy.

01:53:03.000 Everybody loves comedy.

01:53:04.000 If you don't love comedy, I mean, I feel sorry for you.

01:53:08.000 I don't understand what's wrong.

01:53:09.000 I don't know why you don't want to laugh.

01:53:12.000 If you just want to look at comedy and go, oh, you're saying that because you're bad.

01:53:16.000 Oh, don't say that!

01:53:17.000 Oh, you crossed a line!

01:53:18.000 Oh, you did this!

01:53:19.000 Those people have their own internal problems to deal with, and they're imposing those problems on people and hoping they get support from others.

01:53:28.000 The most hilarious thing is when someone chimes in and they think they're going to stop comedy, and they're in a room where everybody supports comedy, and the comic's like, oh, really?

01:53:37.000 And then they get crushed, and then they storm out of there and think, what happened?

01:53:43.000 What went wrong?

01:53:44.000 All this works in my gender studies group!

01:53:47.000 They take this chance.

01:53:49.000 It's funny.

01:53:50.000 It's usually the people who've been through the least who don't appreciate comedy.

01:53:56.000 Of course. 0.99

01:53:57.000 People who've been through shit, they need comedy. 0.99

01:54:01.000 It's therapeutic for them. 0.99

01:54:03.000 You could just tell the messages we get just with the podcast.

01:54:07.000 People will message and go, hey man, you're helping me get through this time. 0.99

01:54:11.000 And it's like, if you've been through shit, you're there to laugh. 0.99

01:54:14.000 You don't care how dark it is or whatever, because it pales into comparison to the real shit you've been through. 0.99

01:54:20.000 That's why I stopped doing colleges. 0.99

01:54:22.000 I stopped doing colleges.

01:54:23.000 I was in Miami.

01:54:24.000 They don't need comedy.

01:54:26.000 Their lives are great.

01:54:27.000 They're in flip-flops. 1.00

01:54:30.000 They're taking fucking liberal arts classes. 1.00

01:54:32.000 Their parents are paying for it. 1.00

01:54:35.000 It's the worst crowds.

01:54:36.000 I did a college in Miami, and this was in like, I don't even know what year it was.

01:54:41.000 It was probably early 2000s.

01:54:42.000 And I said some joke about sex.

01:54:47.000 And I said, no judgment.

01:54:49.000 And there was a weird reaction.

01:54:51.000 I go, how many people are virgins? 0.86

01:54:53.000 And there was an uncomfortable silence. 0.99

01:54:56.000 And I go, God damn. 0.99

01:54:57.000 How many of you people are virgins? 1.00

01:55:00.000 And I realized, like, I'm talking about sex. 0.94

01:55:02.000 I'm talking about the weirdness of sex.

01:55:04.000 And it's probably like 30% of the people that have never even had it.

01:55:07.000 And I'm like, oh no.

01:55:09.000 Where were you performing?

01:55:09.000 Like Harvard or Princeton?

01:55:10.000 Miami.

01:55:11.000 Somewhere in Miami.

01:55:11.000 And they didn't have sex?

01:55:12.000 No, some of them didn't.

01:55:13.000 Or if they did, maybe they had it once.

01:55:15.000 They didn't know what they were doing.

01:55:16.000 But it was a weird moment.

01:55:19.000 I think I was talking about...

01:55:23.000 I'm pretty sure the bit was about someone giving you head while looking at you. 1.00

01:55:29.000 And I'm like, there's nothing creepier than someone sucking your dick while looking you in the eyes. 1.00

01:55:35.000 Like, you don't want to be looking through the windows, the soul, while someone's got their dick in your mouth. 1.00

01:55:40.000 And I remember they were like, huh? 1.00

01:55:42.000 What?

01:55:43.000 And they hadn't experienced that before.

01:55:46.000 And I was like, oh, okay, okay.

01:55:47.000 And you know what?

01:55:48.000 At that age, I remember, though, at that age, like when a woman would look at me like that, I would get embarrassed. 0.99

01:55:53.000 Like, now when you get older and creepier, you want to get looked at.

01:55:56.000 But when you're younger, you're like, stop looking at me.

01:55:58.000 Exactly!

01:55:59.000 I make my wife look at me.

01:56:01.000 Yeah.

01:56:05.000 But the other part of the joke was the woman in my act, and the joke was like, I'll do it with my hand. 0.60

01:56:12.000 And I said, what would make you think that you could possibly be as good at that as me? 0.98

01:56:19.000 Like, that is the most ridiculous thing ever. 0.99

01:56:23.000 I've been doing that for years! 0.99

01:56:25.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:56:25.000 And I said, having a girl jerk you off is like trying to brush your teeth with your left hand. 0.99

01:56:29.000 It's true. 0.99

01:56:29.000 It's like the most frustrating, uncoordinated, spastic. 0.99

01:56:34.000 But see, as an older pervert, that's kind of fun.

01:56:37.000 Yeah.

01:56:37.000 If someone doesn't know what they're doing.

01:56:38.000 Yeah.

01:56:39.000 Yeah.

01:56:40.000 Yeah, when you're older, yeah.

01:56:42.000 You get risk getting tired?

01:56:43.000 Yeah.

01:56:44.000 Forearm tired there?

01:56:45.000 You need something extra to get off of when you get a little older. 0.83

01:56:48.000 First hand job I get, this girl from St. Saviour's in Brooklyn, she jerked me off on a rock in the park, and I think she jerked me off for two and a half hours, because it was just like, not my hand. 0.80

01:56:58.000 So she was going like, ah, she was pulling one of those, like, ah, you know? 0.85

01:57:03.000 Exactly.

01:57:03.000 She took my hand, just put it on it, and I was like, fine, let me just do it.

01:57:07.000 That's hilarious.

01:57:09.000 You know what bit I loved of yours back in the day? 0.86

01:57:13.000 I don't know if you put it on a special or whatever, but it was so fucking funny.

01:57:17.000 It was about Hugh Hefner, the girls. 0.79

01:57:19.000 Oh yeah, that's really on a special.

01:57:24.000 Vomiting. 0.99

01:57:25.000 It was so fucking funny, man. 0.99

01:57:28.000 The only version of it out there sucks, but the version, the idea was that he had said once, someone interviewed him and they said, how do these girls feel? 0.99

01:57:38.000 Like, you know, these 20-year-old girls dating you. 0.91

01:57:40.000 And he goes, well, they feel very lucky.

01:57:42.000 This has always been a dream for them.

01:57:44.000 And I was like, lucky, lucky, living the dream!

01:57:48.000 And I can tell a bit about these poor girls. 1.00

01:57:52.000 Like, hang in there!

01:57:53.000 You're gonna get a Porsche!

01:57:55.000 Hang in there!

01:57:56.000 I can't do this!

01:57:58.000 I remember I was rolling laughing when I saw that.

01:58:01.000 It was so funny.

01:58:02.000 It was such a weird...

01:58:03.000 I remember one time he came to the comedy store and I did the bit.

01:58:09.000 And everyone was like, you're gonna do the bit? 0.85

01:58:10.000 I'm like, fuck yeah, I'm gonna do the bit. 0.88

01:58:12.000 And I did the bit and then just hid... 0.99

01:58:16.000 He came to the store with two different playmates.

01:58:20.000 Because that was his thing, right?

01:58:22.000 He would go there with these girls.

01:58:24.000 And it was very performative.

01:58:26.000 It was before social media. 0.99

01:58:29.000 It was this thing where he had this persona that he would wear a fucking smoking jacket and show up everywhere with a bunch of girls. 1.00

01:58:39.000 You're like, wow, that guy, he's killing it. 0.99

01:58:42.000 And I was like, what is happening here?

01:58:44.000 Yeah.

01:58:44.000 Like, imagine if that's your daughter.

01:58:45.000 Like, what has gone wrong in these young ladies' lives? 0.98

01:58:48.000 Yeah.

01:58:49.000 Remember we had that show, the girls next to us?

01:58:51.000 Those poor ladies. 1.00

01:58:52.000 You know, that's the thing about comedians.

01:58:54.000 Like, people say, you're going to do that bit.

01:58:56.000 They were saying it like, you shouldn't because he's here. 0.97

01:58:57.000 And you're like, fuck yeah, I'm going to do it. 0.99

01:58:59.000 No, I did it. 0.99

01:59:00.000 Donnell could tell you a story.

01:59:01.000 When I was doing that show tonight, he'll tell you.

01:59:03.000 I'll bring it up.

01:59:04.000 When I was doing that show at Marion Square...

01:59:08.000 There was four girls I invited to the show, and I had slept with all four girls. 1.00

01:59:12.000 And I said to Donnell before, because I didn't really have any material, I was a horrible comic, and I was like, you know, I fucked all those girls, I'm gonna make a joke about it. 0.88

01:59:21.000 And he's like, son, I wouldn't do that. 0.88

01:59:25.000 And I said, no, I think it'll be real funny.

01:59:27.000 And he, you know, Dono, just like, older comic, was like, all right, son, do you, son?

01:59:31.000 You know, like, and he kind of like, and then I did it, and it went horrible. 0.91

01:59:35.000 Like, the girls were like fucking stormed out. 1.00

01:59:37.000 They didn't talk to me ever again. 0.98

01:59:39.000 But that was my stage, like, where I would just do the wrong thing.

01:59:42.000 I went on BET, and Dono, this is one of his favorite stories.

01:59:46.000 I went on BET when they were doing live comedy on 106th and Park.

01:59:49.000 So it was like a competition where the audience judged, and I had an N-word joke.

01:59:54.000 And this show was doing well for black comics.

01:59:57.000 So I was on there.

01:59:58.000 I might have been one of the only white comics to ever be on there.

02:00:01.000 And they heard the material for it.

02:00:03.000 I performed it for the producers in a room.

02:00:05.000 So they knew the material.

02:00:06.000 But I guess they just kind of didn't think about it.

02:00:10.000 This was before wokeness, kind of.

02:00:12.000 So I did the joke...

02:00:14.000 Live on BET about the n-word and then BET banned live comedy on that show after that.

02:00:21.000 I went to watch it on a rerun and there was like a rerun of Pinky and the Brain on it.

02:00:24.000 I was like, something went wrong. 1.00

02:00:27.000 And the joke was about how rappers should say it more, just to fuck with white people. 0.99

02:00:33.000 It should be like every other word. 1.00

02:00:35.000 So white people just have to skip half of the song, and then if they slip up and say one, a black person can just hook off and fucking punch them in the face. 0.99

02:00:43.000 And it was the time that Jamie Foxx's song, I'm Not a Gold Digger, was out. 1.00

02:00:47.000 So I was singing that song, and I think I even said the N-word.

02:00:50.000 Well, that's a Kanye West song.

02:00:51.000 Yeah, Kanye.

02:00:52.000 No, no, no.

02:00:53.000 Jamie Foxx sings on it, but it's a Kanye West song, right?

02:00:57.000 Yeah, I think it was like...

02:00:58.000 Jamie Foxx sings the...

02:01:00.000 Yeah, he sings the vocals.

02:01:02.000 Yeah.

02:01:04.000 Yeah, Jamie talks about how him and Kanye worked together on that song, about Kanye sort of directing him on how to do it.

02:01:11.000 He's an interesting guy, man.

02:01:14.000 Out of all the people that I've interviewed and talked to, Kanye West is one of the most interesting.

02:01:20.000 Because in the middle of talking to him, I was like, I don't know anybody like you.

02:01:25.000 He's got a really unique brain, man.

02:01:29.000 He's so good at music.

02:01:30.000 He's such a good producer.

02:01:31.000 He makes good music.

02:01:32.000 But I gotta admit, man, I'm a sneakerhead since I was a little kid.

02:01:35.000 I don't understand the sneakers.

02:01:36.000 They look like people tires. 0.81

02:01:38.000 Like, I don't.

02:01:39.000 They just look like tires.

02:01:41.000 And they sell for like three grand and people buy them.

02:01:44.000 He's killing the game.

02:01:45.000 He's got this perception of life that's very unique.

02:01:49.000 Like, he breaks down, like, agriculture.

02:01:51.000 He breaks down...

02:01:53.000 Housing. 1.00

02:01:53.000 He breaks down electricity and fucking irrigation. 1.00

02:01:58.000 His brain is firing like a thousand RPMs an hour. 1.00

02:02:03.000 A minute, rather.

02:02:04.000 He's constantly going, man.

02:02:06.000 He's a weird guy in a very positive way.

02:02:09.000 Very underappreciated in that respect.

02:02:12.000 People malign him because...

02:02:14.000 I think his Donald Trump support, I think a lot of it was about... 1.00

02:02:18.000 When Obama called him a jackass, I think that fucking stuck in his craw. 0.99

02:02:22.000 He was like, oh yeah? 1.00

02:02:23.000 I'll show you a fucking jackass. 1.00

02:02:25.000 Or maybe he was just one of the only rich black people being honest. 1.00

02:02:30.000 Being like, yo, less taxes.

02:02:32.000 You know what I mean?

02:02:33.000 Because I always feel like a lot of people are liberal on the gram, and then they get in the voting booth, and they're like...

02:02:37.000 50 Cent had the funniest response. 0.99

02:02:38.000 He had a moment where he was like, fuck that! 0.99

02:02:40.000 He goes, I don't want to be 5 Cent. 1.00

02:02:45.000 Everyone's liberal on the grab, and then they get in their accountant's office, they're like, all right.

02:02:49.000 Well, I don't think they really believe that the money that they give up is going to go to good.

02:02:54.000 I think if people were 100% assured that if you give up more of your taxes, the world's going to be a better place, they would believe it.

02:03:00.000 But then they see all this nonsense with politicians and they're like, I don't trust you with the money. 0.88

02:03:06.000 I mean, that fucking stimulus bill, and then they had another bill sending all that foreign aid to other countries. 1.00

02:03:11.000 You're going like, what the fuck is this, dude? 1.00

02:03:15.000 $600? 0.99

02:03:15.000 Like, I almost stormed the Capitol. 0.99

02:03:17.000 Gender studies in Pakistan. 1.00

02:03:18.000 Yeah, what the fuck, dude? 1.00

02:03:21.000 Like, at this moment, you're giving, like, foreign aid. 1.00

02:03:23.000 This is not the time for foreign aid.

02:03:25.000 It just shows how weird politics are.

02:03:27.000 That you have to appeal to all of your lobbyists and all your special interest groups.

02:03:31.000 There was a part of the bill that made it a federal felony to stream for illegal streaming.

02:03:38.000 They tried to slip that in.

02:03:39.000 They slipped it in.

02:03:40.000 They did slip it in.

02:03:41.000 There was also a part of the COVID bill that made it so that they have to expose all the UFO secrets that the CIA has.

02:03:47.000 Do you understand they released that now?

02:03:49.000 They released it today.

02:03:50.000 All the information the CIA has about UFOs are released today.

02:03:57.000 Because I think Jeremy Corbell posted it.

02:04:01.000 He produced the documentary, Bob Lazar, UFOs and Bob Lazar.

02:04:08.000 What is it?

02:04:09.000 Bob Lazar.

02:04:09.000 What is the documentary on Netflix?

02:04:11.000 Bob Lazar, Flying Saucers and UFOs.

02:04:16.000 Area 51 and Flying Saucers.

02:04:17.000 Area 51 and Flying Saucers.

02:04:19.000 But didn't they release that today?

02:04:22.000 You want another one? 1.00

02:04:22.000 These fucking things get too small. 1.00

02:04:25.000 They did release the information on the New York Post website. 0.99

02:04:29.000 This is a picture of the CD-ROM. They said the information...

02:04:33.000 What do we smoke the small ones like poor people? 1.00

02:04:34.000 Yeah, these are great though, man.

02:04:36.000 They are great, right?

02:04:37.000 Yes.

02:04:37.000 Shout out to Foundation Cigars.

02:04:38.000 And you know, I haven't had one in so long, so this one is special.

02:04:41.000 Yeah, it's the thing that people don't realize about cigars. 0.99

02:04:44.000 They get you high as fuck. 1.00

02:04:45.000 Yeah, and when you hold off for a while from something you really love, it's like, you ever like not jerk off for a long time and then you just like end up hitting yourself in the face with your own cum. 1.00

02:04:58.000 This cigar is amazing. 0.99

02:05:00.000 They're good, right?

02:05:00.000 So what is it saying in the post?

02:05:01.000 They got put up on a website called The Black Vault, and according to this article, the guy who runs the site obtained the CD-ROM, which I don't know who is using CD-ROMs, and it looks like they printed a CD label on like you would do when you burned a mixtape for your friends.

02:05:21.000 20 years ago.

02:05:22.000 I don't know.

02:05:22.000 We need a common enemy right now.

02:05:24.000 I hope that they release the aliens.

02:05:26.000 I hope they lie to us, even if they're friendly.

02:05:28.000 I hope they're...

02:05:29.000 But you know what?

02:05:30.000 If there are aliens...

02:05:32.000 I think it would make sense that they would come here and not talk to us.

02:05:35.000 Because imagine, like, they gotta be so advanced to be able to travel that far.

02:05:40.000 So, like, it would be like us walking up to an anthill and being like, oh, that's what they do.

02:05:44.000 And then you're like, you're not gonna want to hang out with the ants. 0.98

02:05:47.000 You're gonna be like, alright, I peeped it out, and now I'm gonna go back to my other fucking... 0.99

02:05:50.000 My planet where shit is lit, and we mindfuck, and we're telepathic, and... 1.00

02:05:56.000 You know, you think the Kama Sutras, we just fucking mind fuck. 1.00

02:06:00.000 Yeah, they don't have dicks anymore. 1.00

02:06:02.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:06:02.000 I think that's our future. 0.97

02:06:04.000 I think what aliens are is human beings in the future.

02:06:06.000 I really do believe that.

02:06:08.000 When we think of the archetypal aliens with the large heads and the tiny bodies where we don't have any need for muscles anymore, and we don't have any need for genitals anymore because everything happens in the mind. 0.98

02:06:19.000 We're all obsessed with breeding and fucking and social interaction and status and clout and material possessions and all these different things. 0.92

02:06:27.000 But if we could eliminate all of our biological shortcomings and pitfalls, what would we look like? 0.99

02:06:34.000 Well, we'd look like aliens.

02:06:36.000 I mean, we are less biologically impaired.

02:06:40.000 Or dependent than, say, the lower primates.

02:06:43.000 If you look at, like, a chimpanzee, like, they're always...

02:06:46.000 They're killing each other and raping each other and smashing and, you know, it's like... 1.00

02:06:51.000 Chimps are ruthless fucking animals. 1.00

02:06:53.000 I mean, they really are. 1.00

02:06:54.000 And we are descendants of...

02:06:56.000 Those are our ancestors.

02:06:58.000 Or at least similar to our ancestors.

02:07:00.000 We share an ancestor with them, yeah.

02:07:02.000 And you look at a chimp with no hair, Jesus Christ. 1.00

02:07:05.000 I mean, they're fucking shredded, giant muscles, thick tendons. 0.99

02:07:08.000 And then you look at what an alien looks like in terms of the archetypal gray with the big heads and the large eyes and the tiny little limbs. 0.99

02:07:20.000 That's us.

02:07:20.000 That's the future.

02:07:21.000 We're so much more feeble than a gorilla.

02:07:23.000 You've got to imagine that if we keep moving in this direction, we're going to be more and more feeble.

02:07:27.000 Right.

02:07:28.000 We're gonna be like them.

02:07:29.000 Do you think that it's possible that aliens are us in the future just coming back to peep and the reason they can't is because it's like back to the future it'll fuck up?

02:07:36.000 That's possible.

02:07:37.000 It's also possible that this is the natural course of progression for biological life.

02:07:41.000 And that if everything goes well, we don't get hit by a meteor or blow ourselves up in a nuclear accident, that we go from single-celled organisms to multi-celled organisms to some sort of a creature that figures out how to manipulate its environment.

02:07:55.000 And once they figured out how to manipulate their environment, then they start manipulating their DNA. They start changing the environment they live in.

02:08:03.000 They start changing, you know, the actual atmosphere.

02:08:06.000 And then they start traveling to other planets and other worlds.

02:08:10.000 They start figuring out intergalactic travel.

02:08:13.000 That's us.

02:08:14.000 It's going to be us and what they represent.

02:08:16.000 I think it's more like farmers coming to check on the spores.

02:08:19.000 Like, do we have mushrooms yet?

02:08:20.000 Like, what do we got here?

02:08:21.000 Interesting, yeah.

02:08:22.000 We'll come back.

02:08:23.000 We'll come back in a little bit.

02:08:24.000 Well, why don't they help out a little bit, though?

02:08:25.000 I think they might be.

02:08:26.000 They might be helping out.

02:08:28.000 They might have stopped us from nuking each other a few times.

02:08:30.000 Right, right.

02:08:31.000 They started coming here in terms of, you look at the historical UFO sightings.

02:08:38.000 They all really ramped up after the nuclear tests of the 1940s.

02:08:43.000 That's when everything really started taking place.

02:08:45.000 After Hiroshima and Nagasaki, that's when all the sightings started ramping up in a big way.

02:08:51.000 Was that because we had the technology to capture it?

02:08:53.000 No, I think we started nuking each other. 1.00

02:08:56.000 And they're like, yo, what the fuck? 0.99

02:08:58.000 Let's go visit. 0.98

02:08:59.000 Right, because there's no accounts of... 0.98

02:09:02.000 An ancient Greek saying like, oh, and by the way, there was this fucking thing flying around. 0.96

02:09:07.000 So maybe you're right. 0.98

02:09:07.000 There is, though. 0.98

02:09:08.000 Really?

02:09:09.000 There is, yeah.

02:09:09.000 That's what's really weird.

02:09:10.000 So they were checking them out, too?

02:09:11.000 Thousands and thousands of years ago. 1.00

02:09:12.000 Probably laughing at them like, fucking togas? 1.00

02:09:14.000 Come on, guys. 1.00

02:09:15.000 If you go to the ancient Hindus, like the... 1.00

02:09:19.000 Some of the ancient works of a lot of different civilizations, Vimanas and all these different flying crafts and these discussions in the Bible.

02:09:29.000 Ezekiel saw a wheel within a wheel.

02:09:31.000 There's all these discussions of things that could easily be interpreted as something from another planet or some visitors.

02:09:37.000 Right.

02:09:38.000 And then the headstone.

02:09:40.000 How did that happen, right?

02:09:41.000 What's the headstone?

02:09:42.000 I'm saying it wrong.

02:09:43.000 This is good scotch.

02:09:45.000 This is really nice.

02:09:46.000 What is it?

02:09:47.000 Have more.

02:09:48.000 Get in there.

02:09:48.000 This is sweet.

02:09:49.000 What is that?

02:09:50.000 Whitmire's?

02:09:50.000 What is it called?

02:09:51.000 What does it say on the bottle?

02:09:53.000 Whitmire's Texas Single Barrel.

02:09:54.000 Who gave us that?

02:09:57.000 Do you remember that bottle, Jamie?

02:09:58.000 Who did that come from?

02:09:59.000 No.

02:10:00.000 All right.

02:10:00.000 Whoever it is, thanks.

02:10:01.000 Yeah, it's great. 0.95

02:10:02.000 We have enough booze to kill everyone in this room. 0.90

02:10:04.000 That's a lot of booze. 0.98

02:10:05.000 You keep getting it.

02:10:06.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?

02:10:07.000 The Stonehenge?

02:10:08.000 Stonehenge?

02:10:09.000 Where the rocks are on each other.

02:10:11.000 Yeah, Stonehenge.

02:10:11.000 Stonehenge.

02:10:12.000 What did I call it?

02:10:13.000 Hedgestone.

02:10:14.000 Yeah.

02:10:14.000 What can you do?

02:10:14.000 Well, Stonehenge is...

02:10:16.000 Stonehenge is...

02:10:17.000 I think they've decided that that was some sort of a calendar.

02:10:23.000 I think that is the interpretation of Stonehenge.

02:10:26.000 They think it was...

02:10:28.000 Isn't that correct?

02:10:32.000 I don't know a whole lot about Stonehenge because I spent so much time thinking about the pyramids and the Mayan ruins and the way they align with the cosmos.

02:10:41.000 I didn't pay too much attention to Stonehenge.

02:10:43.000 That is kind of crazy that all over the world at the same time they were building those same type of structures.

02:10:48.000 That's kind of wild.

02:10:50.000 Yeah, it's pretty wild.

02:10:51.000 It's kind of wild.

02:10:51.000 Well, one of the things that Bob Lazar, he's the guy that supposedly worked at Area S4. That's what this is.

02:10:58.000 I can't believe I'm wearing this, but this is Bob Lazar's sketch when he was describing what it looked like that he worked on.

02:11:05.000 Wow.

02:11:06.000 Bob gave me this.

02:11:07.000 This is his signature down here.

02:11:09.000 Actually, Jeremy gave me this.

02:11:10.000 This is his depiction of the vehicles that he was hired in the late 80s, early 90s to back engineer.

02:11:20.000 Wow.

02:11:22.000 That's definitely what they say they look like right there.

02:11:24.000 He said that one of the things that they read when they were going over the people that had hired him had given him a breakdown of where these vehicles came from and what they were.

02:11:40.000 They were saying in this literature that they had handled out to all the employees at S4, at least the ones that needed to know, was that we are the product of accelerated evolution.

02:11:51.000 Is that aliens had come down here and taken the lower primates and genetically manipulated them and created the earliest versions of human beings.

02:12:00.000 It sounds ridiculous until you realize that The biggest mystery in all of the fossil record is the doubling of the human brain size and human brain human beings over the period of I think it was like two million years their brain doubled it grew and they don't understand why and they don't know why we are so different than any other primate we wear clothes we think we talk we have complex language we manipulate our environment there's a lot of theories as to why we did it but the most outlandish theory

02:12:31.000 Is that we are manipulated.

02:12:32.000 Wow, that's interesting.

02:12:33.000 I have a friend, Paul Verzi.

02:12:35.000 He's a comedian.

02:12:35.000 I know Paul Verzi.

02:12:36.000 You know Paul?

02:12:36.000 Yeah.

02:12:37.000 I know who he is.

02:12:37.000 I've never met him.

02:12:38.000 He's like my best friend.

02:12:40.000 He's a Burz boy. 1.00

02:12:40.000 Yeah, he's great. 1.00

02:12:40.000 He's the best dude in the world. 1.00

02:12:42.000 Hilarious.

02:12:42.000 And he told me his dad's like a real Italian guy from the Bronx.

02:12:47.000 Like one of those guys who's like, you know, he's Italian.

02:12:50.000 Like he's like, you know, he'll be like, you know, these rappers, but you know, I gotta admit, they know their jewelry.

02:12:56.000 You know, he's one of those.

02:12:57.000 He actually said that to him.

02:12:59.000 He's like, but they know they're jewelry.

02:13:01.000 But he says, and his mom too, because I asked his mom.

02:13:07.000 And so they both, his mom, his dad, and his, I think his grandparent, I can't remember which one, they were all in, like, Yonkers, Westchester, and they were, like, on the porch, and they saw a UFO. And he says, this is how I believe him, because he told Paul,

02:13:22.000 he was like, I wish I didn't see it, because he's one of those guys that doesn't believe in that, and, you know, and his mom, I think, is kind of religious, too, and she admitted she saw it.

02:13:29.000 They said it came down, like, close, and then, like, it was like a dot in the sky.

02:13:34.000 It just disappeared and was like...

02:13:36.000 Yeah.

02:13:37.000 Which is funny, like an Italian guy seeing a UFO, because they're all about getting people out of the neighborhood. 1.00

02:13:41.000 They'd be like, fuck, get the fuck out of my neighborhood! 1.00

02:13:44.000 The fuck out is my neighborhood! 1.00

02:13:47.000 I'm shooting at it. 1.00

02:13:48.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

02:13:50.000 It's my neighborhood. 0.99

02:13:50.000 I had a guy on the podcast. 0.99

02:13:51.000 His name is Commander David Fravor.

02:13:54.000 He was a fighter jet pilot.

02:13:56.000 He scrambled to encounter one of them off the San Diego coast.

02:14:02.000 It's a famous story.

02:14:04.000 It's this vehicle that was captured.

02:14:06.000 It was captured on radar.

02:14:08.000 It was captured on their...

02:14:10.000 Not his vehicle, but another vehicle got a video of this thing.

02:14:15.000 It went from...

02:14:17.000 More than 60,000 feet above sea level to one foot in less than a second.

02:14:23.000 I mean, if a guy like that is saying that that happened, like it happened, and then there's that footage...

02:14:27.000 Not only is he saying it happened, but he said that it jammed their radar. 1.00

02:14:31.000 Damn. 0.98

02:14:31.000 Which is technically an act of war. 0.98

02:14:33.000 He's like, this was an intelligent thing.

02:14:35.000 So at this point, we know that there are aliens, and they've been here.

02:14:40.000 That's a tricky statement.

02:14:42.000 I don't know.

02:14:43.000 I love to believe that it's real.

02:14:46.000 Are you scared at all?

02:14:47.000 No.

02:14:48.000 Their power?

02:14:48.000 I'm scared of liberals.

02:14:51.000 Yeah, it's a comic.

02:14:52.000 That's what we're scared of. 0.97

02:14:54.000 I'm scared of woke people that just want to fucking ban parlor and burn it all down and enforce their ideology because they've got a lot of power right now. 0.97

02:15:02.000 I'm scared of people that think they're right. 0.98

02:15:05.000 I'm scared of people that want to stifle free speech.

02:15:08.000 I'm scared of people that want to stop debate and enforce their opinions.

02:15:15.000 I'm scared of that.

02:15:16.000 I'm not scared of aliens.

02:15:17.000 I'm scared of the other extreme, too, where you could...

02:15:21.000 All the facts could be there, and they're still like, you know, the election is stolen.

02:15:25.000 Like, I'm scared of that kind of...

02:15:27.000 Yeah, I'm scared of that too.

02:15:27.000 It's become kind of faith-based.

02:15:29.000 It's a little religious.

02:15:30.000 It's a little weird.

02:15:31.000 Like, they're kind of...

02:15:32.000 It's zealotry at this point.

02:15:34.000 Oh, sorry.

02:15:34.000 Yeah, no worries.

02:15:35.000 And where they just kind of...

02:15:37.000 You could say anything.

02:15:38.000 You could put any evidence in front of them.

02:15:40.000 And the woke people are like that too.

02:15:41.000 It's kind of two sides of the same coin.

02:15:43.000 It's like the farther in any direction you go, you kind of come back around to the other side.

02:15:47.000 They don't know how much they have in common, those two.

02:15:49.000 Yes.

02:15:49.000 And unfortunately to me it seems like they are dictating the cultural conversation now for some reason, and all the politicians are pandering to that extreme base for some reason, and maybe it's because they're loud, maybe because also politicians are falling victim to thinking that Twitter is the real world,

02:16:06.000 when it's not, dude. 0.98

02:16:07.000 And we know more than anyone, comedians know, when you do a live performance, There's rarely any of that shit. 0.98

02:16:13.000 People love it, whatever you say live, and that's the real pulse of America. 1.00

02:16:18.000 It's not that fucking bullshit where people are hiding behind fucking avatars and arguing with Russian bots. 1.00

02:16:23.000 I mean, this is fucking Russia and China to me. 1.00

02:16:26.000 This is the way they've been fucking with us. 0.99

02:16:28.000 I think they infiltrated education a long time ago, started like... 0.96

02:16:33.000 Given perks to professors and liberal arts and started like slowly pushing this kind of anti-American, we're always the bad guy kind of, you know, mantra, this kind of like narrative that like, and it's become now, it's kind of culminated now in this sort of like hasty generalization,

02:16:50.000 like these groups of people are bad and bad, good, white, black. 0.82

02:16:54.000 You're like, dude, that is not the way it works.

02:16:56.000 I know it's easy to, you got an A by quote, like, you know, going like, this is bad, this is good, but... 0.96

02:17:02.000 Because it's the lazy way to do it because everyone's fucking lazy now.

02:17:04.000 But if you look at history, there's a lot of uncomfortable truths that always fuck up that argument because human nature doesn't change and people aren't as racist as you think. 1.00

02:17:13.000 We're fucking shitty. 1.00

02:17:14.000 I mean, nobody's killed more white people than white people. 1.00

02:17:16.000 Nobody's killed more black people. 1.00

02:17:17.000 We kill whatever's closest, you know? 1.00

02:17:19.000 And slavery is horrible and American slavery is probably the most brutal because you mix modernity with fucking slavery. 1.00

02:17:26.000 Slavery is the oldest thing in the... 0.99

02:17:28.000 I mean, the ancient Greeks were enslaving other ancient Greek tribes. 0.93

02:17:33.000 And Native Americans were enslaving other Native Americans. 1.00

02:17:35.000 Like, we are shitty. 1.00

02:17:36.000 And that's why we need aliens. 0.99

02:17:38.000 Please, come! 0.99

02:17:40.000 But we're shitty! 0.92

02:17:41.000 You know what's the darkest truth? 0.99

02:17:42.000 There's more slavery today than there was before slavery in the United States was abolished.

02:17:47.000 They built Dubai!

02:17:48.000 Slaves built Dubai! 1.00

02:17:49.000 They call it something else. 0.90

02:17:51.000 They take away your passport.

02:17:53.000 Yeah!

02:17:53.000 They keep you there.

02:17:54.000 You have to work for far less.

02:17:55.000 Saudi Arabia, they still had slavery until like 1960s they had. 0.81

02:17:58.000 Well, have you seen Libya?

02:17:59.000 They had slave auctions and you could watch it on YouTube.

02:18:03.000 You know, when Libya, when they killed Qaddafi and everybody thought that was a great thing, Libya became a failed state.

02:18:09.000 And one of the things that came along with Libya being a failed state is they started having open slave auctions.

02:18:14.000 You could literally watch, see if you can find that, Jamie.

02:18:18.000 Thanks Hillary Clinton for that one. 1.00

02:18:19.000 Well, she thought it was a funny thing to talk about.

02:18:23.000 You ever see that interview?

02:18:23.000 She goes, we came, we saw, he died!

02:18:26.000 And then she laughed, yeah. 1.00

02:18:28.000 Anytime a person is laughing because a human being was murdered, and not just murdered, but murdered with a fucking knife up his asshole. 1.00

02:18:35.000 You ever see when that guy shoves that knife up his ass? 1.00

02:18:38.000 When Qaddafi's sitting there and he's in shock, and he's surrounded by all those rebels, and they're screaming and yelling, and one guy takes a knife and shoves it up his ass? 1.00

02:18:46.000 I haven't seen it. 1.00

02:18:46.000 He's so in shock, he barely recognizes that a knife is up his asshole. 1.00

02:18:51.000 Wow. 1.00

02:18:51.000 I felt like, you know how they have that flag in Iwo Jima where those guys are planting a flag? 1.00

02:18:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:18:57.000 That dude, they will have a statue of him shoving that knife up Gaddafi's ass. 0.99

02:19:04.000 Like, yes, that's our Iwo Jima. 0.99

02:19:06.000 Yeah, I haven't seen that.

02:19:08.000 I think it all comes out.

02:19:11.000 Look, it's been thousands of years of human civilization to get us to the point where we can discuss things freely on a podcast.

02:19:19.000 I have hope.

02:19:20.000 I really believe that all this conflict that we have is something that we have to overcome.

02:19:25.000 And I think ultimately that's good.

02:19:26.000 I don't think it's good to have no conflict.

02:19:28.000 I think the conflict, it makes us get our arguments more solid.

02:19:33.000 It makes us get our rhetoric more reasonable and logical.

02:19:37.000 I think it's good for us. 0.99

02:19:39.000 I think it takes time to work this shit through. 0.99

02:19:41.000 We're all in a panic right now. 0.99

02:19:42.000 Oh my god, they got rid of Parler!

02:19:44.000 You know, we're worried about this.

02:19:46.000 But I think ultimately...

02:19:48.000 Human beings are thinking creatures who, when confronted with the evidence, there's going to be a number of people, whether it's more people or the majority of people or just a strong percentage that recognize the pitfalls of this particular ideology and the way we're looking at things.

02:20:07.000 We're going to see things for what they really are, and we're going to get through this on the other side.

02:20:12.000 I don't think it's going to be perfect, but I think we're going to move to a better place.

02:20:16.000 And I think History has proven that over time, there's been tragedies, and there's been corrections, and there's been good things and bad things, but over time, we generally move to a better place and a more friendly and equal place.

02:20:31.000 And that's what I think.

02:20:33.000 Yeah, I look back at history, I see these sort of cycles of errors of reason and then faith.

02:20:39.000 Errors of reason and faith, like the Faith, you know, dark ages, then the Enlightenment, then, you know, it goes dark again, like, you know, the Arab world was flourishing, they created, you know, algebra was named after Al-Jabbar, and they kind of, and then, you know, Islam came and kind of went into an era of faith, 1.00

02:20:55.000 and it kind of slowed things. 0.98

02:20:57.000 Well, Islam originally was the, they were the fucking scientists, man. 1.00

02:21:01.000 I mean, they were, they, If you look at the early Islamic world, they were the ones that were the most advanced at one point in history. 0.98

02:21:08.000 They were the ones that were pushing mathematics and science and reason and logic.

02:21:14.000 It comes in cycles, man.

02:21:17.000 It comes in cycles of suppression and dominance.

02:21:20.000 The real concern is unstoppable dictatorships like China and Russia, when there's no dissent and no discussion.

02:21:30.000 And this is what we have to realize.

02:21:31.000 One of the things that makes America unique and powerful is that we get to talk about things and we get to disagree.

02:21:38.000 Now, I completely agree. 0.99

02:21:39.000 When something happens, like the storming of the Capitol, when that shit happens on Capitol Hill, that needs to be stopped. 0.98

02:21:46.000 And we need to educate people as to why that's awful, why that's terrible, and why a person like Donald Trump that calls for something like that, that person needs to be maligned. 0.99

02:21:55.000 That person needs to be shot down.

02:21:59.000 Those ideas need to be rejected.

02:22:05.000 And what's important is discussion and logical discourse.

02:22:09.000 And if your argument is sound, argue that.

02:22:13.000 Discuss it.

02:22:14.000 The real answer for wrong speech is better speech.

02:22:19.000 There's no argument.

02:22:20.000 You can't argue that.

02:22:21.000 It's just what it is.

02:22:22.000 It is.

02:22:38.000 But most people, I think, are trying to get there.

02:22:41.000 They're just trying to get there within their ideology.

02:22:44.000 Whether it's someone like AOC or whether it's someone on the right, they're trying to get there within their ideology.

02:22:50.000 They're trying to get to a better place.

02:22:52.000 When someone like AOC is advocating for Medicare for All or all these other things that I agree with, They're doing that because they want to get to a better place.

02:23:01.000 And then they're fighting against people on the right and so they sure up their arguments and they get more aggressive and they want to silence those people and shut those people down.

02:23:09.000 But ultimately the reason why they want to do it, the reason why it's all taking place is because they want the world to be better.

02:23:16.000 There's very few people that are in government that don't want the world to be a better place.

02:23:20.000 The problem when someone like Donald Trump comes along is that when you look at someone who Whether you think he's a sociopath or we think he's an egomaniac, he wants what's best for himself.

02:23:34.000 What we really need is leaders who want what's best for the world.

02:23:39.000 And for future generations.

02:23:41.000 Yeah, and I don't necessarily see that on the horizon in terms of a clear example.

02:23:48.000 Like someone who's in power right now that wants what's best for the world.

02:23:53.000 I used to think that about Barack Obama, and I kind of still do.

02:23:56.000 But I think he was arguing for it in this really convoluted, bizarre, Yeah.

02:24:15.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:24:23.000 I get a lot of shit from people that are on the right that don't like my love of Obama. 0.99

02:24:29.000 But when that guy was the president, I felt like we were okay. 0.99

02:24:32.000 Yeah.

02:24:33.000 Because I felt like he was smarter than me.

02:24:35.000 Right.

02:24:35.000 I would hear him talk.

02:24:36.000 I'd be like, he's got it.

02:24:38.000 Right. 1.00

02:24:38.000 He's talking to those fucking military guys and those congressmen. 1.00

02:24:41.000 He's got it. 1.00

02:24:41.000 Right. 1.00

02:24:42.000 And he always stayed calm.

02:24:43.000 Yeah.

02:24:43.000 He never lost his cool.

02:24:44.000 And that's what you want from your top guy is a guy who's always in control.

02:24:48.000 Saying the right thing yes, and then going and bombing the shit out of people what I like about Trump is Trump Trump gave support to the military in a way that Obama didn't where Trump they squashed Isis within one year because of Trump and My friends the friends that I have that are in the special forces and Kennedy I heard that in podcasts.

02:25:08.000 They say, look, the world changed because of the decisions that Trump made. 0.70

02:25:13.000 His mandate when he got into office was to let the military stop these problems before they become a real issue for America.

02:25:22.000 Yeah, and a lot of those things are the reason I think he got elected, because he was saying things, he just was saying them wrong. 0.90

02:25:28.000 Like, he was just saying them like a comic would say them, like with no filter, and like, when you're a statesman, you gotta say shit the right way, very tempered, and like you said, you have to appeal.

02:25:38.000 That's not easy to be able to appeal to everyone and stay neutral in your rhetoric, because that's important. 0.91

02:25:45.000 I mean, you're a public figure, and the whole world is hanging on every word you're saying, so that's what Obama was really good at.

02:25:52.000 Yes.

02:25:52.000 Every speech he gave was just like, you were looking for something.

02:25:55.000 It was like, fuck, this guy's good. 0.99

02:25:56.000 But he was so measured. 0.99

02:25:57.000 Yeah.

02:25:57.000 And he was such a statesman.

02:25:59.000 In my opinion, he's the greatest president ever in terms of the way he would talk and hold himself.

02:26:05.000 I always felt like that guy was a great example of what's possible.

02:26:10.000 You get a guy who comes from a single mother.

02:26:14.000 I mean, he's not privileged when he's growing up.

02:26:17.000 Interracial family.

02:26:19.000 Poor.

02:26:20.000 Living in Hawaii.

02:26:21.000 And rises to this position and becomes the president.

02:26:25.000 Yeah.

02:26:26.000 Humans, he was great, man, in that way.

02:26:29.000 Humans just go too far.

02:26:31.000 We have this greedy personality.

02:26:33.000 Because a lot of the woke stuff, a lot of the ideas are great.

02:26:37.000 They just keep pushing more, more, more.

02:26:40.000 But the woke thing is they want the world to be better.

02:26:43.000 Yeah, so it's based on a good premise.

02:26:46.000 Yes, yes.

02:26:46.000 But then they keep going where it's like, we're at this point, I think the majority of people love trans people, are totally okay with it, and it's like trans people are the most beautiful thing, and it's a great thing, and it's a third gender, and it's great, and obviously their brains are a little different, they feel like females,

02:27:03.000 and that's great.

02:27:03.000 Science can't- Or they feel like males.

02:27:06.000 Or they feel like males.

02:27:07.000 Yeah.

02:27:08.000 And science can facilitate now a change, and that's great.

02:27:11.000 But it's funny that now people are using science to make arguments against science, which is what I find fascinating, on the right and left.

02:27:19.000 So left will go like gender doesn't exist, and that's because science has facilitated that you can kind of change your gender.

02:27:26.000 So it's like you're arguing against science, which says biological sex exists.

02:27:30.000 Let's be honest.

02:27:31.000 I had an argument with a professor about that once, where he was like, biological sex is not real.

02:27:37.000 I go, okay, if you buy a puppy, and the puppy's a girl, but you wanted a boy, and they go, well, biological sex doesn't exist.

02:27:43.000 What do you do?

02:27:43.000 Do you get your money back?

02:27:45.000 Just accept the fact that she identifies as a boy.

02:27:50.000 It's like obviously charged with ideology when you hear that stuff.

02:27:53.000 And there's exceptions, right, where certain people have certain levels of testosterone or estrogen.

02:27:57.000 I mean, there's exceptions, but we can't change the rule for the exception.

02:28:00.000 So they're using science to argue against science.

02:28:02.000 And the same on the right where they're going like, hey, climate change isn't real.

02:28:07.000 The climate always cycles.

02:28:09.000 And I'm going like, where do you know that from?

02:28:11.000 Is it because science told you that there's been different cycles of climate?

02:28:15.000 Yeah.

02:28:16.000 I had an argument with a guy in a jujitsu class about that.

02:28:19.000 He's like, it's always been a cycle.

02:28:20.000 I go, dude, you're 25. The fuck do you know? 1.00

02:28:23.000 And how do you know? 1.00

02:28:24.000 You're not even a scientist. 1.00

02:28:25.000 Yeah, did you stick shit in the ground and fucking... 1.00

02:28:26.000 How did you figure out about this thing? 1.00

02:28:27.000 You're making core samples?

02:28:29.000 Yeah, you know that because science told us that. 0.99

02:28:31.000 You go into Antarctica and fucking go in a mile deep into the surface of the ice? 1.00

02:28:35.000 Get the fuck out of here, bitch. 1.00

02:28:36.000 And it's like, how can you... 1.00

02:28:40.000 Now they want to go like, trans women are women. 0.98

02:28:42.000 You're going like, okay, I'll call you a woman. 1.00

02:28:44.000 That's fine.

02:28:45.000 But you're redefining what obviously is something that you're not saying.

02:28:51.000 When I went and saw my wife give birth, I was like, okay...

02:28:56.000 Dudes can't do that.

02:28:57.000 I was like, come on, man.

02:28:58.000 I was like, look, I'll give it to you.

02:29:01.000 If trans women want to be called women, let's call them women. 1.00

02:29:04.000 But then let's start calling women who can give birth mortal gods, because that's some different shit right there I just witnessed. 1.00

02:29:10.000 Some different shit, yeah. 0.99

02:29:11.000 I mean, I just saw a baby come out of a hole in her body, which was the wildest shit I've ever seen in my entire life. 1.00

02:29:17.000 And then if you ask the hospital, like, where are the trans women? 0.99

02:29:20.000 And they're like, we don't have it. 0.99

02:29:21.000 You're like, well, then you're fucking discriminating against trans women for not allowing them to give birth. 0.99

02:29:26.000 I mean, like, what are we doing? 0.99

02:29:27.000 What are we doing here?

02:29:28.000 I didn't even think that I would ever get involved in a trans argument until there was a person that was fighting against women and not telling everybody that she was a man for 30 years and was a woman for two.

02:29:40.000 And then started fighting women without telling everybody that she used to be a man.

02:29:45.000 And they were like, she's always been a woman.

02:29:47.000 I'm like...

02:29:48.000 Stop! 1.00

02:29:49.000 We're talking crazy!

02:29:50.000 I know what you want to do.

02:29:52.000 You want to make the world a better place. 0.99

02:29:55.000 Brock Lesnar puts a dress on and starts beating the fuck out of chicks. 0.99

02:29:59.000 You've got to say that's wrong. 0.98

02:30:01.000 There's a couple of athletes now who have just dominated in their sport.

02:30:06.000 After doing late transitions, yeah.

02:30:08.000 Bone structure is a crazy thing.

02:30:10.000 Well, they just did a study, and then they said that, yeah, there is a difference.

02:30:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:30:14.000 If you see all the comments, they're going, no shit! 1.00

02:30:17.000 Duh-duh! 1.00

02:30:18.000 Most people, look, most people had my back, but it was a loud number of people.

02:30:22.000 There was a lot of trans people that thought that I was transphobic.

02:30:26.000 I'm not transphobic at all.

02:30:27.000 I just don't think that it's right if you compete against females without at least telling them that you used to be a man. 0.63

02:30:35.000 No. 0.98

02:30:36.000 It's not a fucking complicated thing. 0.98

02:30:38.000 You're biologically male. 0.98

02:30:39.000 And this comes from someone who's biologically male.

02:30:42.000 There's advantages.

02:30:44.000 And how come we don't hear this argument a lot from trans men?

02:30:46.000 It doesn't seem to be...

02:30:47.000 It doesn't exist.

02:30:48.000 It doesn't really exist.

02:30:48.000 Trans men aren't going like, let me get in there and play basketball with LeBron James.

02:30:53.000 Well, in sports, it's an issue.

02:30:57.000 But in fighting, it's the greatest issue.

02:30:59.000 Because, again, what I talked about, it's high-level problem-solving with dire physical consequences.

02:31:05.000 If you found a woman who'd been taking steroids for 30 years and has stopped for two years and started fighting other women, you'd be like, hey, she's cheated. 0.72

02:31:13.000 She has an advantage.

02:31:14.000 But all of a sudden, if it's a trans woman, you're like, no, there's no advantage. 0.69

02:31:18.000 She's always been a woman. 1.00

02:31:20.000 I know what men are built like.

02:31:22.000 They're different.

02:31:23.000 Their fists are larger.

02:31:25.000 Their shoulders are long.

02:31:27.000 The width is different.

02:31:29.000 The hips are shaped different.

02:31:30.000 The mind is different.

02:31:32.000 Reaction time is different.

02:31:33.000 This is all science.

02:31:35.000 And when real endocrinologists that aren't...

02:31:38.000 Gender reassignment surgeons who really discuss this, they'll be honest with you, especially if they don't have to suffer social consequences of it.

02:31:48.000 They'll tell you, like, there's a difference.

02:31:49.000 Yeah, but nowadays it's like, yeah, it seems like everyone has at least a threat that you're going to suffer some sort of social consequences if you say something that a Twitter mob can kind of just hop on you about and just call you a name without discussion and saying he's transphobic.

02:32:04.000 It's just like, But again, even a person who's been attacked, I can tell you that I think that they're doing it for the right reasons.

02:32:11.000 They think that they're making the world a better place.

02:32:14.000 I appreciate it.

02:32:15.000 I really do.

02:32:16.000 I get it.

02:32:17.000 Even a person who's suffered a lot of articles that have misrepresented my positions and taken what I've said out of context.

02:32:25.000 I get it.

02:32:26.000 Yeah.

02:32:27.000 You want the world to be more inclusive and more appreciative of people that come from a different place.

02:32:32.000 Yeah.

02:32:33.000 I think it's actually kind of like it would be a beautiful thing to say, trans women are trans women.

02:32:39.000 That's great.

02:32:40.000 And trans women are beautiful. 1.00

02:32:41.000 That's a different thing.

02:32:42.000 And that's great.

02:32:43.000 And let's celebrate that.

02:32:45.000 That's amazing.

02:32:46.000 Why do we have to call it – why does it have to creep into a category of someone who didn't – Have to take estrogen shots and was born in a gender that they didn't feel.

02:32:56.000 Why can't they be two beautiful things?

02:32:58.000 Well, that's a weird thing.

02:32:59.000 Why?

02:33:00.000 Well, people say, like, oh, this is a woman. 1.00

02:33:02.000 This is absolutely a woman.

02:33:04.000 Well, why is she taking estrogen? 1.00

02:33:06.000 Why does she have to do that if she's a woman? 1.00

02:33:08.000 Why does she have to go through surgery? 1.00

02:33:10.000 They shut you down and call you a TERF. Well, there's...

02:33:14.000 Fuck it! 1.00

02:33:15.000 Well, that's the weird thing about women that argue against it. 1.00

02:33:18.000 They get attacked.

02:33:19.000 It's like, oh my god, you're attacking biological women for thinking that biological women should be able to compete against only biological women.

02:33:26.000 J.K. Rawlings, I mean, her statement couldn't have been more reasonable and supportive.

02:33:31.000 Martina Navratilova.

02:33:32.000 Martina Navratilova. 0.98

02:33:33.000 I mean, she is a fucking icon of the LBG without the T. Yeah. 0.98

02:33:40.000 It's when the tees got involved. 0.98

02:33:42.000 Yeah, before.

02:33:42.000 Yeah, David Chappelle joke, yeah.

02:33:45.000 Well, ironically enough, an Owen Benjamin joke as well.

02:33:48.000 Oh, was it really?

02:33:49.000 Yeah.

02:33:51.000 He argued.

02:33:52.000 I mean, he had a bit about it, too.

02:33:53.000 I don't know who saw who first or if they thought about it together.

02:33:57.000 But it's like this world of LBGT. That's a problem, too. 0.99

02:34:02.000 It's like you're throwing everybody together.

02:34:04.000 I get it because you want support.

02:34:06.000 You want support from everybody who's in this malign community, this marginalized community.

02:34:11.000 But they're different things.

02:34:12.000 Like, lesbians are different than gay people. 1.00

02:34:14.000 Gay people are the first to tell you they don't have anything in common with lesbians. 1.00

02:34:20.000 My gay friends will tell you, like, listen, man, I have very few lesbian friends. 0.97

02:34:24.000 Lesbians don't like gays. 1.00

02:34:25.000 They don't hang out, yeah. 0.99

02:34:26.000 Some of them do.

02:34:27.000 It's a bad statement. 1.00

02:34:28.000 But they look at gays like fucking Peter Pan. 1.00

02:34:31.000 You're out there butt-fucking and partying and... 1.00

02:34:34.000 Doing ecstasy. 1.00

02:34:35.000 And lesbians, for the most part, they're different. 1.00

02:34:39.000 There's no lesbian communities. 1.00

02:34:41.000 Gay people have whole neighborhoods.

02:34:43.000 Look, West Hollywood. 1.00

02:34:44.000 They take over giant fucking swaths of land. 0.99

02:34:48.000 You go to Boys Town. 0.99

02:34:49.000 I have a bit about Boys Town because it's right down the street from the comedy store. 0.99

02:34:53.000 You hook a right on Santa Monica, and it is a fucking different world for five blocks. 0.94

02:34:59.000 It's five blocks of no one saying no. 1.00

02:35:03.000 It's just fucking partying. 0.99

02:35:06.000 No one can get pregnant and everyone's on speed. 1.00

02:35:10.000 Da-da-da-da. 0.99

02:35:11.000 The one lesbian in the neighborhood just puts her head out the window. 1.00

02:35:13.000 You guys keep it down! 0.99

02:35:15.000 Jesus, we're trying to.

02:35:15.000 It's so different.

02:35:17.000 It's men. 1.00

02:35:18.000 Men who fuck men. 1.00

02:35:19.000 It's a whole different world than the lesbian world. 1.00

02:35:22.000 I'm like, lesbians don't develop neighborhoods. 1.00

02:35:25.000 Because straight men find out about them. 0.84

02:35:27.000 I'm an ally. 0.99

02:35:28.000 And they move next door and they fuck up your neighborhood. 0.98

02:35:30.000 You don't have a chance. 1.00

02:35:32.000 My brother's gay and he's older. 0.76

02:35:34.000 He's like 60. You know, big gap in our...

02:35:38.000 He says it's overcorrection.

02:35:40.000 He's saying what we're saying, like it's a great thing, it's based on great principles, but it's just like that human need to, we have this thing in us where we don't, you know, it's like they used to say, an old expression I think from Rome is like, you know, when the war is over, you put down your sword and pick up your plow.

02:35:56.000 It's like humans have a real hard time being like, okay, we won, Let's put the sword down and pick up the plow.

02:36:02.000 It's like there's...

02:36:03.000 When you're an activist or a warrior, there's that thing and you were just like, let me keep...

02:36:07.000 What's the next...

02:36:07.000 Keep going.

02:36:08.000 Get to the ocean.

02:36:09.000 Yeah, it's like, the war's over, dude.

02:36:10.000 No.

02:36:11.000 The war's over.

02:36:11.000 You got it.

02:36:12.000 The majority of the people, we're all for it.

02:36:15.000 And they're like, no, no. 1.00

02:36:16.000 Let's find another fucking... 1.00

02:36:18.000 Well, part of the problem with that is that there's so much communication going on. 0.99

02:36:21.000 There's so many people expressing ideas.

02:36:24.000 Like, there's someone out there that disagrees.

02:36:26.000 So you're gonna find disagreement.

02:36:27.000 You wanna squash that, too. 1.00

02:36:29.000 You wanna keep that fucking battle going. 1.00

02:36:31.000 It never ends. 1.00

02:36:33.000 Never ends.

02:36:34.000 It never ends.

02:36:34.000 But I think, ultimately, the mass of these people, whether they're on the left or the right, they're trying...

02:36:41.000 And I get accused of being on the right when I'm on the left.

02:36:44.000 Yeah.

02:36:44.000 Because I look like I'm on the right.

02:36:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:36:49.000 I look like an asshole. 1.00

02:36:51.000 I look like a Trump supporter. 1.00

02:36:52.000 I've said a lot of stupid shit. 1.00

02:36:53.000 If you take it out of context, you'll assume I'm a Trump. 1.00

02:36:56.000 Well, you're a perfect example of how people just kind of reject nuance because the nature of it is a little boring.

02:37:02.000 The truth is a little boring.

02:37:04.000 You've actually said, hey, I'm voting for Bernie.

02:37:08.000 I like Bernie.

02:37:09.000 I like Medicare for all.

02:37:10.000 Those are as liberal.

02:37:11.000 And they were like, he said something bad in the 90s!

02:37:14.000 But he also said that! 1.00

02:37:15.000 So, fucking... 1.00

02:37:16.000 Let's give him... 1.00

02:37:18.000 It's like fucking inglorious bastards. 1.00

02:37:20.000 They want to put a Nazi sign on you and carve it in you. 1.00

02:37:23.000 I don't know how this happened where the extremes kind of hijacked the conversation, but it's really wild, man.

02:37:30.000 Well, the discourse spread.

02:37:31.000 It became much wider.

02:37:33.000 You know, there's so many more people that can chime in.

02:37:36.000 You know, and everybody wants...

02:37:38.000 Like what I was saying about podcasts, that people hear us talking, like, I got something to say too!

02:37:43.000 Well, there's so many people that have something to say and can talk.

02:37:46.000 And then other people hear it and they want to respond to it the same way you pulled over the side of the highway to argue with that dude on Twitter.

02:37:54.000 It's a true story, yeah. 1.00

02:37:54.000 It's the same shit. 1.00

02:37:55.000 Sad, yeah. 1.00

02:37:56.000 But that's what's going on.

02:37:57.000 I think we're going to get through it.

02:37:59.000 I really do.

02:38:01.000 And I understand that I'm in a very bizarre position where my voice is broadcast to more people than the average person.

02:38:08.000 So I feel like it's even more imperative that I stay positive.

02:38:15.000 And I really do believe that we're going to be okay.

02:38:18.000 You handle it well, man.

02:38:19.000 I could never, like, I don't think a lot of people couldn't...

02:38:22.000 I have brain damage!

02:38:23.000 I've been hit in the head!

02:38:25.000 Thousands of times!

02:38:27.000 I think that has something to do with it.

02:38:28.000 That's the silver lining.

02:38:30.000 Yeah, that's the silver lining. 0.99

02:38:31.000 You trend all the time and people say all types of shit, articles, and you just come in like, hey man, who's the next guy? 1.00

02:38:37.000 Alright, let's do fucking whoever. 1.00

02:38:39.000 Who you want. 1.00

02:38:40.000 I know who I am.

02:38:42.000 And I know I'm a nice person.

02:38:44.000 And everybody who knows me knows I'm a nice person.

02:38:46.000 And I think most of the people who listen to me know that even if I say something that's offensive or wrong or...

02:38:53.000 I'm trying to be nice, and that's all I think about.

02:38:56.000 I know I have a weird responsibility that I didn't ask for.

02:38:59.000 I didn't set this up to try to take over discourse.

02:39:03.000 I didn't. 0.99

02:39:04.000 I set it up to talk shit with my friends. 0.90

02:39:06.000 I set it up in 1999 with my friend Brian Redband, or whatever it was, 2009 with my friend Brian Redband. 0.99

02:39:13.000 We were just talking shit and smoking pot and answering questions on Twitter.

02:39:17.000 I never thought it would have billions of downloads. 0.99

02:39:20.000 I literally never thought that.

02:39:23.000 And along the way, I've had to adjust.

02:39:25.000 I've had to realize, okay, this is a weird responsibility that I didn't ask for.

02:39:29.000 But I get why they're mad.

02:39:31.000 I get.

02:39:32.000 I get the attacks.

02:39:33.000 I get it.

02:39:34.000 I get it.

02:39:35.000 I think it's one of those things when people look back in history, like the cultural force that this has become, I think as a comic...

02:39:42.000 I, I, my opinion is it seems like a lot of why you've handled so well is because you're a comic.

02:39:48.000 Yes.

02:39:49.000 It's like comics have, there's like famous and then there's comic famous.

02:39:53.000 Whereas like you can go see like you're going to be tonight performing at a bar live.

02:39:56.000 It's like we need as comics, we always need to sort of be the perennial underdog or else we lose material.

02:40:01.000 There's something about us that always seeks humility.

02:40:04.000 And it's kind of for a selfish reason, because you have to continue to be a comic, sort of a person of the people, because if you get too big, it becomes like that Steve Martin thing where he's like, I can't do this anymore.

02:40:14.000 Yes, the Steve Martin thing.

02:40:16.000 I mean, what are you going to do?

02:40:17.000 Go up there and be like, hey, my private plane didn't work today. 1.00

02:40:19.000 And people are going like, fuck this guy. 0.99

02:40:21.000 I was at the comedy store once, and Tim Allen went on stage, and he was talking about his Ferrari breaking. 1.00

02:40:28.000 You're like, yeah.

02:40:30.000 It's like, oh, the dashboard fell out. 0.99

02:40:32.000 And I'm like, what the fuck is this? 0.99

02:40:33.000 And I wanted to grab him. 0.99

02:40:35.000 I'm like, Tim, talk to me. 0.77

02:40:38.000 You need to smoke pot.

02:40:40.000 You need to be around other comics.

02:40:43.000 You're in this position where you're too famous.

02:40:46.000 And everybody around you, they need you to pay their bills.

02:40:51.000 They're not being honest.

02:40:52.000 You need to work out.

02:40:53.000 You need to do something.

02:40:54.000 You need to do something really hard.

02:40:57.000 Really difficult, where it tests your mettle.

02:40:59.000 Keeps you humble.

02:41:00.000 Yes, you need to be humble. 0.99

02:41:02.000 Yeah, you need to get strangled. 1.00

02:41:03.000 Go to a jiu-jitsu gym and get strangled. 1.00

02:41:07.000 Go to kickboxing, get your leg kicked. 0.99

02:41:09.000 Can I ask you a question?

02:41:10.000 Sure.

02:41:10.000 Is the optimism that you feel, do you think that's in any way tied to having children?

02:41:15.000 Because I know I've had sort of a paradigm shift, and it's something that burr rides me about. 0.99

02:41:20.000 I mean, he came on our podcast and just chewed me the fuck out for like an hour about how negative I am and fucking, you know, fucking, I used to be like you and it leads down a fucking bad road. 0.98

02:41:30.000 And, you know, he was just chewing me out. 0.97

02:41:32.000 And, you know, after my experience with COVID and like, you know, I got weird and started crying, I called him and I was like, you're right, Bill.

02:41:39.000 You're right. 0.96

02:41:40.000 You're fucking right. 0.99

02:41:41.000 I was crying. 1.00

02:41:42.000 You thought you were going to die.

02:41:43.000 Yeah, I was like, you're right, Bill.

02:41:44.000 I'm negative.

02:41:44.000 I got to change.

02:41:46.000 And now that I have a newborn, it's like I've experienced this kind of rebirth of hope.

02:41:53.000 And it may be selfish because of her.

02:41:55.000 Like, I want the world.

02:41:57.000 I don't want the world to end.

02:41:59.000 I don't want civilization to end.

02:42:00.000 I don't want America to die and the ideals that built America to die.

02:42:05.000 I want it to...

02:42:07.000 Succeed.

02:42:08.000 I want it to continue.

02:42:10.000 I want the beautiful precepts that this country was built on to survive.

02:42:16.000 I want us to rise above this challenge for her.

02:42:19.000 And it may be selfish, but it's like, that's what's happened.

02:42:22.000 I don't think it's selfish.

02:42:23.000 I think it's hopeful.

02:42:29.000 You know?

02:42:31.000 When I had kids...

02:42:33.000 One of the things that...

02:42:35.000 One of the things that happened as I got older and I started raising children is I started looking at people instead of looking at them as like, oh, this guy is a 35-year-old man.

02:42:47.000 This is who he is.

02:42:48.000 I started thinking, oh, he used to be a baby.

02:42:51.000 Wow, interesting.

02:42:52.000 It changed everything.

02:42:54.000 It changed everything.

02:42:56.000 I started looking at people like, oh, that's a baby that got bad information, and mean people, and no love, and no support, and no comfort, and they became angry, and they became resentful,

02:43:12.000 and everybody, man.

02:43:14.000 You know, I was watching a documentary, not a documentary, a series of interviews on The Iceman, Richard Kuklinski.

02:43:20.000 Oh, yeah, those are the best. 0.98

02:43:21.000 Dude, if you look at my fucking YouTube... 0.99

02:43:23.000 You've made me mad now. 1.00

02:43:24.000 You've made me mad.

02:43:25.000 Yes!

02:43:25.000 What's that?

02:43:26.000 So scary!

02:43:27.000 Yeah, I just feel like I'm mad now.

02:43:29.000 Yeah.

02:43:30.000 And he says it like very calm.

02:43:31.000 About how he fed people to rats. 0.99

02:43:34.000 I would die them up. 0.97

02:43:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:43:36.000 And I would put a camera on them.

02:43:37.000 And I like George.

02:43:38.000 And I liked him.

02:43:39.000 And that's what I did to the guy I liked.

02:43:40.000 Yeah.

02:43:42.000 Georgie was a good guy.

02:43:43.000 He was a guy who was a baby, who was raised by a psychopath and a mother who was, you know, distant and probably just dealing with the fact that she was married to a psychopath. 0.91

02:43:55.000 And he became a monster.

02:43:58.000 I started looking at people like babies. 0.62

02:44:01.000 That happened when I became a father.

02:44:03.000 It happened slowly, man.

02:44:05.000 I'm ashamed to admit.

02:44:07.000 It took a while for me to really...

02:44:09.000 Because you try to protect your initial ideas and who you initially were.

02:44:16.000 You want to defend your anger and defend your stances or your behavior or your positions.

02:44:23.000 But it took me a while to realize that what I was recognizing was that who I am, who you are, who everybody is, is a direct result of the environment that you evolved and grew up in,

02:44:41.000 the people that you encountered, the love that you received or the love you didn't receive, the hate that you received or the hate you didn't receive.

02:44:48.000 The most spoiled people are the people that have the easiest.

02:44:51.000 The most interesting people... 0.98

02:44:52.000 One of the hardest things about being a parent is that my favorite people, whether it's Joey Diaz or Ari Shafir, all the weirdos that I know, their fucking life was hard. 0.79

02:45:03.000 And I don't want my kid's life to be hard. 0.90

02:45:05.000 I want my kid's life to be filled with love. 0.99

02:45:07.000 But my favorite people all grew up fucked up. 1.00

02:45:10.000 All of them. 1.00

02:45:11.000 All of them.

02:45:11.000 All my favorite people grew up in the most tortured and confusing environments.

02:45:18.000 And they have...

02:45:19.000 They figured their way through the maze and they, oh!

02:45:22.000 And they popped out through the surface of the water and they got some air.

02:45:25.000 That's all my favorite people.

02:45:27.000 Is there a healthy way to reconcile that with your daughter? 0.98

02:45:32.000 Like, you know, because you're saying you want her to have all the things that, you know, fucked up people. 0.96

02:45:36.000 I tell them. 0.99

02:45:37.000 How do you reconcile, like, hey, I'm going to give you love, but you also got to go through some shit to have some character. 0.99

02:45:42.000 I had a little situation with my 12-year-old the other day. 0.98

02:45:45.000 Where she was really upset.

02:45:47.000 It was over her mom taking her phone away.

02:45:50.000 It was like nonsense, right?

02:45:51.000 But I was like, it's so hard for you to recognize that your life is easy.

02:45:56.000 And we were having this conversation where... 0.98

02:46:00.000 I was talking about the shit that I went through as a kid and some of the things that I went to where a guy tried to rape me when I was 13 and I was explaining this to her. 0.97

02:46:09.000 I go, one of the reasons why I don't want you just like running out in the world is because you don't know that the world is filled with people who are mistreated and want to mistreat others and that there's bad people and I don't know how much to expose you to. 0.97

02:46:23.000 But I want you to know that everything I do, whether it seems like it's ruining my life, I want you to know that all these decisions are made because I love you.

02:46:36.000 I don't want you to have struggle.

02:46:39.000 But I also recognize that struggle is imperative for growth.

02:46:42.000 And I'm confused.

02:46:44.000 I don't know what to do.

02:46:45.000 I don't know the right way to approach this other than communication, other than expression.

02:46:50.000 I want to express to you what I've experienced and what I want to protect you from.

02:46:56.000 It's hard.

02:46:57.000 And the people that I run into, I have a real thing, man.

02:47:02.000 It's a real thing where everybody I meet I think of as a baby.

02:47:06.000 Everybody.

02:47:07.000 You, Jamie.

02:47:08.000 I think of Jamie as a baby all the time.

02:47:09.000 Young Jamie.

02:47:10.000 I think of what was Jamie like when he was a baby.

02:47:13.000 How did Jamie get to be who he is now?

02:47:15.000 I think of who everybody...

02:47:16.000 It's a weird thing, man.

02:47:18.000 And when I became a father, as I evolved as a father, and as I corrected myself and dealt with my own shortcomings, I started thinking of people as...

02:47:32.000 You know, you want to just get mad at someone for who they are. 1.00

02:47:35.000 This is the way I think about liberals, the way I think about right-wing people, that fucking idiot that looks like a champ that was sitting on Nancy Pelosi's desk. 1.00

02:47:43.000 That poor bastard used to be a baby, you know? 1.00

02:47:46.000 And someone or something or a series of things happened that were wrong. 0.99

02:47:51.000 And he didn't get hugged enough or he didn't get educated enough or he didn't get enough acceptance or enough...

02:48:01.000 Whatever it is, man.

02:48:02.000 Whatever it is.

02:48:02.000 Whatever positive feedback he didn't get.

02:48:06.000 And it led to him sitting with his fucking stupid boots on Nancy Pelosi's desk thinking he's winning. 1.00

02:48:13.000 Right. 1.00

02:48:13.000 He's not. 1.00

02:48:14.000 No, he's doing the opposite of that.

02:48:16.000 He's on camera committing a crime. 0.99

02:48:18.000 And he's going to be in jail for a long fucking time. 0.99

02:48:20.000 And we're all going to benefit from it, unfortunately. 0.99

02:48:23.000 Yeah.

02:48:23.000 You know?

02:48:24.000 Yeah.

02:48:24.000 I mean, that's a very enlightened, evolved way to look at people because we are – and that's kind of the problem in the world is everyone wants to think they're a finished product and that they're – everyone's scared to evolve or admit they were wrong is a big problem right now.

02:48:39.000 They feel everyone's defensive and everyone's either right or wrong.

02:48:44.000 It's very white or black.

02:48:46.000 There's a lack of humility that maybe...

02:48:48.000 Do you think the level of comfort we've achieved is to blame a little bit?

02:48:55.000 This is unprecedented.

02:48:57.000 I mean, unprecedented in human history.

02:49:00.000 When the tech revolution hit on top of the industrial revolution and then the advances in medicine and stuff, we are so used to a level of comfort from air conditioning to Yeah.

02:49:32.000 Those negative things are what make you grow.

02:49:34.000 If you don't have any challenges or any brushes with reality, you don't evolve.

02:49:38.000 If you don't hear another person's position or perspective, you don't evolve.

02:49:42.000 If you don't put yourself in someone else's shoes, you don't evolve.

02:49:46.000 It's like everyone is kind of just really, really bunkered down into their team right now and they don't want to see anyone else's perspective.

02:49:54.000 They just want to demean them and say they're wrong. 0.76

02:49:57.000 These are Nazis. 0.98

02:49:58.000 Everyone who voted for Trump is a white supremacist, that type of thing. 1.00

02:50:02.000 And then on the flip side, everyone over there is a cock, liberal, fucking, you know, and it's like, dude, we're all just people. 1.00

02:50:09.000 And like you said, if you grew up in San Francisco, you would be fucking drinking kimchi as well, or whatever it's called, that tea. 1.00

02:50:16.000 The probiotic tea, kimchi or kimchi. 0.99

02:50:19.000 Kombucha?

02:50:20.000 Yeah, kombucha.

02:50:23.000 You know, I did live in San Francisco when I was little.

02:50:25.000 That was one of the things that helped me.

02:50:27.000 Did they put kimchi in your bottle?

02:50:28.000 No, there was no kimchi back then. 1.00

02:50:31.000 When I was seven, I lived in San Francisco.

02:50:33.000 Seven to eleven.

02:50:34.000 I went from Jersey to San Francisco.

02:50:36.000 My next door neighbors were this gay couple. 0.69

02:50:39.000 My aunt used to get naked and smoke pot and play bongos with them. 1.00

02:50:42.000 I remember that when I was a little kid.

02:50:44.000 I thought it was normal.

02:50:45.000 Yeah.

02:50:46.000 Well, I mean, San Fran, it kind of is.

02:50:48.000 It was during the Vietnam War.

02:50:50.000 It was a wild place.

02:50:51.000 Yeah.

02:50:51.000 Nobody wants to...

02:50:53.000 Look at another perspective.

02:50:54.000 I have a good friend who's very successful and descended of immigrants, not to give too much away, and it's like... 0.99

02:51:02.000 You know, multi-millionaire now and then like started talking about like white people like we're horrible and I just fucking... 0.99

02:51:09.000 I was like how much... 0.99

02:51:10.000 You're a first generation famous multi-millionaire. 1.00

02:51:14.000 How much quicker did you want this shit to happen? 1.00

02:51:17.000 It's like you're fucking famous and richer than 99% of the white men that you... 1.00

02:51:24.000 But they don't want to be attacked. 0.99

02:51:25.000 It's one of the reasons why they say some of the things they say.

02:51:28.000 It's like they think they're doing the right thing but also they don't want to be attacked.

02:51:32.000 You're standing on the stage of the Grammys accepting an award where they're saying you're great. 1.00

02:51:38.000 Your parents fucking swam here. 0.99

02:51:42.000 How much quicker? 1.00

02:51:43.000 Like, you know?

02:51:44.000 Did you want them to give you this Grammy when you were three?

02:51:47.000 Well, there's also the lack of these kind of conversations.

02:51:50.000 You know, one of the things that's happening with social media is we're getting...

02:51:55.000 With Alan Levinowitz called...

02:51:57.000 He's a former guest of the podcast who I think is...

02:52:00.000 Very brilliant.

02:52:01.000 He discussed social media interaction as processed information.

02:52:06.000 The same way processed food is bad for you, processed information and processed discourse is bad for you.

02:52:13.000 Wow.

02:52:13.000 Right?

02:52:15.000 Dead on.

02:52:16.000 Dead on.

02:52:16.000 When he said that, I remember I reached out to him after he wrote that.

02:52:20.000 I'm like, come on here, let's talk.

02:52:22.000 And because of that, I feel like that's what's going on with us.

02:52:28.000 If you had a disagreement with someone and you had this three and a half hour conversation with them when you got to hash this out and talk through it, you probably realize, oh, this person's a good person.

02:52:41.000 They just want the world to be a better place.

02:52:43.000 They're just coming from a different world. 0.59

02:52:45.000 I want to know what world you're coming from or what part of the world and I want to know what your perspective is and I want to understand it.

02:52:52.000 And then if I understand it, I can't...

02:52:55.000 Things I disagree with.

02:52:56.000 Let me tell you why I disagree with it.

02:52:58.000 Let me tell you what I agree with.

02:53:00.000 I see where you're coming from and talk it through.

02:53:03.000 But we're not doing that.

02:53:04.000 We're doing that in these like 240 character chunks and then you're pulling over the side of the road to argue with these 240 character chunks and it's just a bad way.

02:53:15.000 It's a really shitty, like a marginal...

02:53:18.000 It's a very watered down way of communicating. 0.90

02:53:23.000 Do you think people have it in them, though?

02:53:25.000 Or are you coming from a perspective where you're projecting on other people what you yourself have?

02:53:31.000 Because I'm a comedian.

02:53:34.000 I know that everyone knows it now.

02:53:35.000 But it's like you can either, in my opinion, you can either act in the principle of interest or in the interest of principle.

02:53:44.000 And you seemed...

02:53:46.000 To always, going back in comedy, you defended comics when it wasn't in your interest and you suffered for it.

02:53:54.000 I didn't.

02:53:56.000 Well, you got banned from the club and, I mean, yeah.

02:54:00.000 It all worked out.

02:54:01.000 Yeah, it did all work out, but at the time, I mean...

02:54:03.000 I mean, did you look that far at the time or was it something instinctual?

02:54:06.000 I've got brain damage.

02:54:09.000 That's the key.

02:54:10.000 Helped me.

02:54:11.000 I don't think about things as much as the average person.

02:54:14.000 I really think that's part of what's going on. 0.99

02:54:17.000 I think one of the reasons why I've been put in this weird, unique position, if I had to look at it in terms of the greater plan of the universe, I'd be like, let's take this fucking dude who's been hitting the head a bunch of times, doesn't worry too much about shit. 0.91

02:54:31.000 And also, I've experienced a lot of dangerous, like legitimately dangerous things. 0.95

02:54:37.000 It's my position to talk in a, you know, I get it.

02:54:48.000 I know that I'm in this weird spot.

02:54:50.000 I know this weird spot's not normal.

02:54:53.000 Do people have that in them, though, to put self-interest aside and sort of act in the interest of principle?

02:54:59.000 Do we all have that in us?

02:55:01.000 Like, where does that courage come from?

02:55:03.000 It's possible.

02:55:03.000 Is it just getting hit in the head?

02:55:04.000 Because I'll take a few blows to be a better person. 0.82

02:55:06.000 No, it's possible.

02:55:07.000 I'm joking around about the brain damage.

02:55:08.000 But I think part of the reason why I can do it is because I've gone through weird circumstances in life.

02:55:17.000 And also empathy.

02:55:18.000 I think empathy is something we can never lose.

02:55:20.000 It's one of the most important things for understanding each other.

02:55:23.000 Like what I said about the way I look at people that used to be babies.

02:55:28.000 I look at them that way because of empathy. 1.00

02:55:30.000 I don't want to look at them and say, fuck that guy. 1.00

02:55:33.000 It's easy to say, fuck that guy. 1.00

02:55:35.000 Or fuck her. 1.00

02:55:36.000 Or fuck that group of people. 1.00

02:55:38.000 I don't do it. 1.00

02:55:39.000 I don't do it even if they attack me.

02:55:42.000 And one of the reasons why I do is because I think that empathy is one of the most important principles that reasonable people can embrace.

02:55:52.000 That's not really sewn into the fabric of America, unfortunately.

02:55:55.000 We're kind of more of a rugged individual.

02:55:57.000 I pulled myself up by my own bootstraps. 1.00

02:55:59.000 I fucking jumped out of the vagina on my own. 1.00

02:56:02.000 No help. 1.00

02:56:02.000 Came, I started a business. 1.00

02:56:04.000 I don't need no government teat.

02:56:06.000 Yeah, but that's scared America. 1.00

02:56:07.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:56:07.000 That's bitch-ass America. 1.00

02:56:10.000 I think the people that are in a position of power, the people that do have the resources and do have the influence, it's your obligation to be empathetic. 0.99

02:56:21.000 It's part of what comes with the program.

02:56:23.000 This is what comes with the position.

02:56:25.000 What comes with the position of being, whether it's the number one podcaster or the president or anything, you have to be empathetic.

02:56:34.000 And when you're not, we're furious at you.

02:56:36.000 Because you're not elevating the culture.

02:56:39.000 You're not elevating the people.

02:56:41.000 You're not looking at things from this incredibly privileged stance.

02:56:48.000 You're not acknowledging the fact that you're in a unique position.

02:56:52.000 You're being selfish.

02:56:54.000 You just want to win.

02:56:56.000 You want tiger blood.

02:56:57.000 Right.

02:56:58.000 You want hashtag winning.

02:57:00.000 That was a great moment.

02:57:02.000 I mean, yeah. 0.99

02:57:04.000 It was great in recognizing that you can own up to your bullshit and people will like you. 1.00

02:57:10.000 Winning! 1.00

02:57:11.000 Hashtag winning.

02:57:13.000 Yeah.

02:57:14.000 I mean, he's still kicking, right?

02:57:15.000 Like, no big deal?

02:57:17.000 No, he's in trouble now? 0.99

02:57:18.000 No, we played a fucking cameo clip of him the other day. 1.00

02:57:22.000 It's horrible, man. 1.00

02:57:23.000 He's falling apart.

02:57:24.000 Yeah.

02:57:25.000 Yeah, he's all...

02:57:25.000 Yeah, it's not good.

02:57:28.000 Would you take 97, like, boring years or...

02:57:32.000 However many Charlie Sheen years...

02:57:34.000 I'll take 30 good ones.

02:57:35.000 Yeah, Charlie Sheen had a good...

02:57:36.000 I don't know if he had a good one.

02:57:38.000 I think the Charlie Sheen thing is peripheral.

02:57:41.000 When you're looking at it from the outside, yeah, it looks good.

02:57:43.000 But I think that guy's filled with sadness.

02:57:46.000 Yeah, I mean, I think that's what people...

02:57:48.000 Because of the American Dream... 0.99

02:57:50.000 Somehow we shit on regular people when you don't understand that famous people and shit like that, they just do normal shit every day. 1.00

02:57:57.000 If Prince is taking pills, it's not great. 1.00

02:58:01.000 I don't like the way we don't look at nurses and teachers.

02:58:05.000 Those are the real heroes.

02:58:07.000 My dad...

02:58:08.000 My dad and my mom and my brother's brain injured.

02:58:11.000 I've spent so much time with people who work with brain injured people and people who deal with sick people.

02:58:18.000 And I did social work for, you know, five years. 0.99

02:58:20.000 And it's like, those are the people that keep this fucking train moving. 0.99

02:58:23.000 And because they're not like, they don't have a TikTok account or they're not in some fucking dumb show, they're overlooked. 0.99

02:58:29.000 I'm not just saying that. 0.98

02:58:30.000 It's like, it's the truth.

02:58:32.000 It's the truth.

02:58:33.000 That's a real job.

02:58:35.000 Cheers to that.

02:58:36.000 Cheers to that.

02:58:37.000 Cheers to them.

02:58:38.000 And if you go through stuff, you realize that you're doing a real job.

02:58:41.000 You're saving people.

02:58:42.000 You're helping people.

02:58:44.000 You're doing what you're saying.

02:58:45.000 Not being selfish.

02:58:46.000 Doing this selfless thing.

02:58:48.000 Those are the people that keep this thing going.

02:58:50.000 And they're underappreciated.

02:58:51.000 They're underappreciated in the most massive of all ways.

02:58:54.000 The reason why we don't appreciate teachers or police officers or firemen is because we don't have to.

02:59:02.000 It's because they're just out there doing it and we take it for granted.

02:59:05.000 And it's wrong.

02:59:06.000 It's wrong.

02:59:07.000 And they're the foundation of our society.

02:59:10.000 So when you see one bad cop, like in the George Floyd situation, one bad cop becomes defund the police. 0.99

02:59:17.000 God damn it. 1.00

02:59:18.000 You can't defund the fucking police. 1.00

02:59:21.000 And you can't defund the teachers. 1.00

02:59:23.000 You can't defund the firemen.

02:59:25.000 You can't defund the nurses.

02:59:27.000 You can't defund the doctors.

02:59:30.000 We need everybody.

02:59:31.000 We need everybody together.

02:59:32.000 We need more discussions, man.

02:59:35.000 Weirdly enough, from doing this podcast as a joke, just for fun and goofs, has become a legitimate place to discuss real issues that resonate with millions of people.

02:59:51.000 And I think...

02:59:54.000 It's all in a weird way.

02:59:56.000 It's like this is what was supposed to happen.

02:59:59.000 It kind of made itself.

03:00:01.000 It gave birth to itself.

03:00:04.000 There was an opening and it realized that things aren't really being discussed in a long form, really nuanced way.

03:00:18.000 What is it in you though?

03:00:20.000 Because I know the whole vibe of the digital era has been like shorter, shorter, shorter, shorter, quicker, quicker, lower attention span.

03:00:27.000 You probably even got advice like, hey man, that's too long.

03:00:31.000 But you just went, hey, let's go three hours.

03:00:33.000 Let's go four. 0.91

03:00:35.000 I mean, I need a bottle to piss in at this point. 0.91

03:00:36.000 You can go piss.

03:00:37.000 No, I'm fine.

03:00:38.000 Ari's one of my best friends, but he was always like, you gotta stop.

03:00:40.000 You gotta shorten it.

03:00:42.000 Edit it.

03:00:42.000 You need to edit it.

03:00:44.000 I still give him shit to this day. 0.98

03:00:46.000 It should be less than an hour. 1.00

03:00:48.000 I was like, no.

03:00:49.000 He goes, no one's going to listen.

03:00:50.000 I go, then don't listen.

03:00:52.000 It was just something in you.

03:00:53.000 You were like, this is what I want to do.

03:00:55.000 I had fear factor money.

03:00:57.000 That was part of it.

03:00:58.000 I was like, I don't care what people listen to.

03:01:00.000 You don't have to listen.

03:01:01.000 I was happy if 200 people...

03:01:03.000 The first broadcast me and Red Band did, I think there was like 200 people listening.

03:01:07.000 I was like, good.

03:01:09.000 200 is perfect.

03:01:09.000 I don't care.

03:01:10.000 I don't do it because I want a lot of people.

03:01:14.000 And that's the weirdest thing about it all.

03:01:15.000 That it's become the number one show in the world.

03:01:18.000 I didn't do it because I wanted it to become the number one show in the world.

03:01:21.000 I did it because I just did it.

03:01:24.000 I think this world needs... 0.99

03:01:27.000 More of this then in whether you agree with me or disagree Whether you fucking hate me or love me. 0.98

03:01:34.000 We need more people talking about shit We need and to figure it out and that's one of the problems with banning parlor or gab or Mines or any of these fucking places like we need more people talking about shit And if you think that people shouldn't be calling for the death of politics, 0.97

03:01:50.000 I agree with you They shouldn't be you should tell them that right? 0.98

03:01:53.000 But it's hard to do it digitally. 0.90

03:01:55.000 It's hard to do it with typing and text and 140 characters or 240 or 280, whatever the fuck it is. 0.91

03:02:03.000 It's not the way to do it. 0.80

03:02:05.000 We need to do it by talking in person, person to person.

03:02:08.000 But it's the weirdest thing that like...

03:02:11.000 The best way to distribute it is to have two people talking person to person and just broadcast it to everybody.

03:02:18.000 Right.

03:02:18.000 You don't have to cut to any commercial breaks.

03:02:20.000 Yes!

03:02:20.000 Yeah.

03:02:22.000 And the people are struggling to adapt.

03:02:25.000 This era is here.

03:02:26.000 It's here.

03:02:27.000 It's here.

03:02:28.000 So it's like your podcast is sort of...

03:02:30.000 It's like the progenitor of this era.

03:02:34.000 It's like you can continue to...

03:02:37.000 To play that, you know, commercial break, pithy, hey, public relations.

03:02:42.000 But this is here that shows what's behind, what real people are like and what real conversation is like.

03:02:48.000 And it's like, it's a threat to that system because that system is from a different time before we had this technology.

03:02:55.000 And now this technology is here.

03:02:56.000 It's not going anywhere.

03:02:57.000 They're doing smoke signals.

03:02:58.000 Yeah, man.

03:02:59.000 They hate 4K, but they're doing smoke signals.

03:03:01.000 I mean, it's just like...

03:03:03.000 People need to talk things through.

03:03:05.000 And it's not that there's not a place for those other things, like late night talk shows or any of those things.

03:03:11.000 There's a place for them.

03:03:12.000 There's always a place for carpool karaoke, yeah.

03:03:18.000 Somebody lip-sings their song on the radio on a Kia.

03:03:21.000 Yeah, but if you had that guy and he did a podcast, how would that go?

03:03:26.000 It probably wouldn't go great.

03:03:27.000 It's like a person who's really into mall karate fighting in the UFC. Yeah, I mean, it appears to be real, but it's not.

03:03:39.000 And people are starting to get tipped off to that because everything's been stripped away.

03:03:43.000 And it's, you know, people are seeing people for who they are in a format like this.

03:03:48.000 And that's why when that whole debate thing came up, when I think it was Tim Kennedy, I listened to that episode.

03:03:54.000 I love Tim Kennedy.

03:03:56.000 I liked him as a fighter.

03:03:57.000 I just like him. 0.99

03:03:58.000 And I listened to an episode and I was like, fuck, I was like emotionally moved. 0.95

03:04:02.000 By that episode and that call to be like, hey, let's do this here in three, four hours. 0.99

03:04:09.000 Fucking let's get to know these people. 0.94

03:04:12.000 That time is coming. 1.00

03:04:13.000 You can't go.

03:04:14.000 That's coming.

03:04:15.000 Whether it happens here or somewhere else, it's like the people want to hear.

03:04:19.000 If you're going to be president of the United States and if we continue to evolve and we go on that hope train, it's like you're going to want to know a presidential candidate.

03:04:28.000 Who they are for three, four hours in a row without like...

03:04:31.000 Or more.

03:04:31.000 Yeah, or more.

03:04:32.000 Fucking ten hours. 0.99

03:04:33.000 Why not? 1.00

03:04:33.000 Just make it a fucking Dane Cook set. 1.00

03:04:40.000 When Lincoln was running for president, he would give these town square speeches that would go on for hours and hours. 0.97

03:04:45.000 It's kind of wild how advanced things got that it's kind of coming back like the live performance is now the coveted thing because screens are everywhere and that's the special thing now that like TV used to be like oh you're on TV now you're on TV you're like fucking nobody's watching but like if you go to do a live show that's special also that like everything is like curated and everything is filtered and censored and gone through a series of executives and producers and networks But some things aren't.

03:05:16.000 And people gravitate towards those things that aren't.

03:05:19.000 Because now it exists.

03:05:21.000 Well, it's also like the good and the bad. 1.00

03:05:24.000 It's like at least it's not full of shit. 1.00

03:05:27.000 Right. 1.00

03:05:28.000 At least there's not someone who's trying to lie to you because they have some sort of a vested interest in pushing some special interest group's narrative.

03:05:39.000 Right.

03:05:40.000 Yeah.

03:05:40.000 And that wasn't really exposed.

03:05:42.000 That was sort of seen as reality.

03:05:46.000 Yeah.

03:05:46.000 That's coming down.

03:05:47.000 Maybe we're having a hard time adapting.

03:05:50.000 I mean, the digital revolution is powerful.

03:05:53.000 It's something we're struggling to adapt to.

03:05:57.000 And people are starting to believe that their avatars are real and their online personas are real, where none of it is real.

03:06:03.000 Like you said, when you sit down with that same...

03:06:05.000 I remember one time, this dude, I was going to do shows in Philly, and he wrote the most horrible thing about me.

03:06:12.000 And I just DM'd him. 0.99

03:06:13.000 And I was like, do you fucking hate me like that? 0.99

03:06:16.000 He's like, nah, man, I love you. 0.99

03:06:17.000 I'm going to the show.

03:06:18.000 And I'm like, so why did you say that?

03:06:20.000 What did he say? 0.99

03:06:21.000 He was like calling me a liberal cock and like, I hate you. 1.00

03:06:25.000 You're a liberal? 0.99

03:06:26.000 Yeah, he was just, I mean, I lean left, yeah. 1.00

03:06:28.000 But you're a cock? 0.99

03:06:28.000 Yeah, he was calling all the, and he got personal. 0.99

03:06:30.000 I don't remember exactly, but he like cursed me out and I DM'd him.

03:06:33.000 And yeah, he was like, I love you.

03:06:35.000 I think the move is to lean left with strength.

03:06:39.000 I think everyone should be centered and lean left or lean right the way it used to be.

03:06:42.000 I think leaning left with strength is good because you lean left because you love, because you care.

03:06:47.000 When I endorsed Bernie, when I had Bernie on my podcast and he was like, I want people to be absolved of their student loan debt.

03:06:56.000 I want people to not have to worry about medical bills.

03:07:00.000 I want people to not have to worry about being able to make a living.

03:07:03.000 I want people to not have to worry about feeding their family. 0.99

03:07:07.000 I'm like, who the fuck doesn't? 0.99

03:07:08.000 Give me a hug. 0.99

03:07:10.000 Right.

03:07:10.000 But then you have to reconcile that with the reality of like, hey, that's coming out of somebody else's pocket and you don't want to- Whose pocket?

03:07:18.000 People like me?

03:07:19.000 I'll give it to you.

03:07:19.000 Right.

03:07:20.000 I don't care.

03:07:21.000 Right.

03:07:22.000 It's like, how many people have too much?

03:07:24.000 But you're exemplary in that way. 1.00

03:07:27.000 Other people are hiding their money and fucking- Brain damage. 0.99

03:07:29.000 Yeah, well, that's a good thing, I guess. 0.99

03:07:31.000 And I do mushrooms.

03:07:31.000 Yeah, but I mean, like, if you look at why Greece collapsed, it's because everyone wanted the benefits of socialism, but nobody wanted to pay for it, especially at the top.

03:07:38.000 They go hide their money, and they, you know, that's the thing.

03:07:41.000 It's human nature, that greed that we got to kind of conquer, like...

03:07:45.000 That's what it is.

03:07:46.000 Socialism is a beautiful idea.

03:07:48.000 It works as a temperance.

03:07:50.000 It works to counter capitalism and control it a little bit.

03:07:53.000 And that's the other thing. 1.00

03:07:53.000 People are like, fuck socialism. 1.00

03:07:55.000 It's like, dude, we already live in a mixed economy. 1.00

03:07:57.000 Right.

03:07:57.000 We live in socialism because the fire department is socialist.

03:08:00.000 Right?

03:08:01.000 I mean, it is.

03:08:02.000 Social security, your parks, your police officers.

03:08:04.000 But the fire department is my favorite example. 1.00

03:08:07.000 Because if you had to pay to have the fire department come to put the fire out in your fucking home... 1.00

03:08:13.000 And save your family. 1.00

03:08:15.000 Like, good lord.

03:08:17.000 The fire department is my favorite.

03:08:19.000 Because the fire department is often ignored and underappreciated.

03:08:24.000 And I have many friends that are fire department employees.

03:08:30.000 Going back to the 90s, there's a friend of mine that I used to play pool with.

03:08:35.000 His name was Ray the Fireman.

03:08:37.000 That's what we used to call him.

03:08:38.000 The pool hall, the executive billiards.

03:08:42.000 He...

03:08:46.000 You gotta pay for that.

03:08:48.000 How does it get paid?

03:08:49.000 We all agree.

03:08:50.000 We all agree.

03:08:51.000 If you give a certain percentage of your check to make sure that fires are put out so that everyone's house doesn't burn down, we all agree. 0.99

03:09:00.000 We need to look at that in terms of education, in terms of healthcare, but we also need to realize that people are fucking lazy, and people are weak, and we need to force them to get the fuck up and go. 0.95

03:09:13.000 It doesn't mean that when you support socialist ideas, it doesn't mean that you don't support people that... 0.98

03:09:21.000 You need to have discipline.

03:09:22.000 We need to enforce that.

03:09:24.000 Both things can exist simultaneously.

03:09:27.000 Absolutely, yeah.

03:09:28.000 Do you think if everyone saw where their taxes were going, like if there was a system where you could see, like you could vote on, these are the taxes we're paying, instead of the government making a decision or passing these Million-page bills where they sneak things in.

03:09:46.000 The people had control of, like, my money's going to the schools.

03:09:50.000 This is going to infrastructure.

03:09:51.000 This is going to the police department.

03:09:53.000 If you could see that, more people...

03:09:55.000 Taxes wouldn't be as maligned as they are.

03:09:57.000 It's like a bad word to say taxes.

03:10:00.000 Republicans have really capitalized on that.

03:10:03.000 Like, keep more of your money.

03:10:04.000 But it's like, hey, what if, like, the school system is great and we all chip in and you could see that your money was going towards that and everyone was chipping in.

03:10:13.000 For that.

03:10:14.000 If you could talk to a man who's on his deathbed, who's dying, you have a million dollars in the bank, and you go, where do you want it to go?

03:10:25.000 Do you want the world to be a better place?

03:10:27.000 Or do you want to have a gold casket?

03:10:31.000 Leona Helmsley left it to her cat.

03:10:34.000 Really?

03:10:35.000 Yeah, she left it to her cat.

03:10:36.000 Yeah.

03:10:38.000 Really?

03:10:39.000 I think she did.

03:10:39.000 I mean, you could double-check me on that, but I'm almost positive.

03:10:42.000 That's probably because a lot of guys fucked her over. 1.00

03:10:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:10:45.000 That's bad men.

03:10:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:10:47.000 Or, yeah, she was just a bitch, maybe. 1.00

03:10:50.000 She had a short haircut. 1.00

03:10:51.000 Yeah.

03:10:52.000 Yeah.

03:10:53.000 I got a real mean...

03:10:55.000 Insight into why women cut their hair short when they get older.

03:10:58.000 If I say it, people will hate me.

03:11:00.000 But I'll say it.

03:11:01.000 I think older women cut their hair short because if you notice, it's sort of an older – as women get older, they cut their hair shorter, shorter because they don't want to have like a guy in a bar see them from the back with long hair and be like, who's this? 1.00

03:11:14.000 And then they turn around and it's like, I'm a wit.

03:11:16.000 Yeah.

03:11:20.000 When I first moved to Hollywood in 1994, I was dating this girl who was bald. 0.97

03:11:25.000 She shaved her head. 0.92

03:11:26.000 She was crazy. 0.98

03:11:28.000 She's from Norway. 0.96

03:11:28.000 She was a singer. 0.96

03:11:30.000 And she was really interesting.

03:11:32.000 And I was like 27 at the time.

03:11:36.000 And, you know, she was my age.

03:11:38.000 But she was more advanced.

03:11:40.000 She was a really interesting person. 0.99

03:11:42.000 But I remember we would go out to dinner and she'd wear a wig and shit. 1.00

03:11:46.000 And we would like smile and laugh and... 0.99

03:11:49.000 It didn't work out.

03:11:50.000 But I remember thinking, like, this lady is so powerful. 1.00

03:11:54.000 She shaved her fucking head. 1.00

03:11:56.000 And she was so smart. 1.00

03:11:59.000 But for whatever reason, like, where I was and where she was, it was incompatible.

03:12:07.000 She wasn't a Hasidic Jew or anything, right?

03:12:09.000 She was from Norway.

03:12:10.000 Oh yeah, they don't have those.

03:12:11.000 They have those?

03:12:11.000 I don't think so.

03:12:13.000 Because they shave it and then wear a wig.

03:12:15.000 Why did she wear the wig then if she chose to shave?

03:12:17.000 For fun.

03:12:18.000 Yeah.

03:12:19.000 But she shaved her head on purpose. 1.00

03:12:21.000 Yeah.

03:12:21.000 She had a tattoo on her back that was like a demon.

03:12:24.000 And I go, why do you have a demon?

03:12:25.000 She goes, it protects me.

03:12:26.000 I'm like, okay.

03:12:28.000 We only hung out for a little while.

03:12:31.000 I dated her for a couple of months.

03:12:33.000 But I remember thinking, wow, it's really unique to meet this person.

03:12:38.000 Yeah.

03:12:38.000 Because she decided that societal norms of long, beautiful...

03:12:43.000 She never wore makeup, but she was fucking stunning. 0.99

03:12:45.000 She was beautiful. 0.99

03:12:47.000 She had a perfect body. 0.97

03:12:48.000 She was a beautiful woman, but she just decided she wasn't playing these games.

03:12:55.000 It's like Rosa...

03:12:56.000 Rosa...

03:12:57.000 No, not really.

03:12:59.000 Well, she shaves her head. 0.99

03:13:01.000 Yeah, she's kind of a knucklehead. 1.00

03:13:02.000 But she's cute, though. 0.92

03:13:04.000 She is.

03:13:04.000 She's cute.

03:13:05.000 She's cute. 0.95

03:13:06.000 Even with the shaved hat, yeah, she's got a hot face. 1.00

03:13:09.000 That's something hot about a chick who's hot like that, but also, like, fucking can whoop ass like that. 1.00

03:13:15.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

03:13:17.000 This girl was like weird.

03:13:18.000 She was weird.

03:13:19.000 But I remember meeting her.

03:13:21.000 I'm like, I feel like I was supposed to meet you.

03:13:24.000 And that was it?

03:13:25.000 It was short-lived?

03:13:26.000 Didn't last, you know, for whatever reason.

03:13:29.000 I'm going back to Nola.

03:13:30.000 No, she stayed around.

03:13:32.000 I remember she came to the comedy store like a year later with a new guy.

03:13:38.000 This is Sven.

03:13:39.000 She was pregnant.

03:13:42.000 Norwegians are interesting because they recently got rich from their oil money.

03:13:50.000 Really?

03:13:50.000 Yeah, they got tons.

03:13:51.000 Their government's really, they have like a fund where they don't spend all the money.

03:13:56.000 It's almost like they know it runs out and they have like a government has like a fund where they put all their oil money in there because they're oil rich.

03:14:03.000 That's what made them rich.

03:14:04.000 They were like a weird people living over there and then they got rich. 1.00

03:14:06.000 They were always fucked with by the Swedes. 1.00

03:14:08.000 And now it's funny because now the Swedes go to Norway to work because it's so rich. 0.99

03:14:13.000 So I used to have a joke when I would go over there and perform where I would say like the Swedes, because they go work in like the bar industry and the service industry and then go back to Sweden because they made so much money. 0.95

03:14:20.000 And I always said the Swedes were like the Mexicans in Norway. 1.00

03:14:23.000 They just came back and sent money to their family in Sweden.

03:14:26.000 You used to perform in Norway?

03:14:27.000 Yeah.

03:14:28.000 Really?

03:14:28.000 Yeah.

03:14:29.000 I used to go there like once a year to Norway and Sweden and perform in Scandinavia.

03:14:35.000 Really?

03:14:35.000 I was like a boy band, yeah.

03:14:36.000 I would go and do stand-up over there.

03:14:38.000 You were a boy band?

03:14:39.000 Because boy bands go to Europe first and they're like, bye, bye, bye. 0.98

03:14:44.000 And then they come over here and fucking- Bye, bye, bye. 0.94

03:14:48.000 All the boy bands, they send them to Europe first, and then they get big there. 0.99

03:14:51.000 Because if you're American, like I was nobody.

03:14:53.000 I mean, I still am, but like back then I was like nobody.

03:14:56.000 But when you go there, they're like, you're American.

03:14:57.000 You must be great.

03:14:58.000 And I'd be like, yeah, you know, I'm one of the best comics.

03:15:00.000 And they don't, you know, they just go, he's American.

03:15:03.000 He must be great.

03:15:04.000 That's hilarious.

03:15:05.000 Yeah, so I've been to Bergen.

03:15:06.000 Bergen is one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

03:15:09.000 It rains like most of the year, but it's one of the most beautiful cities I've ever seen.

03:15:13.000 It's called Bergen?

03:15:14.000 Bergen, Norway.

03:15:14.000 That sounds like New Jersey.

03:15:16.000 It could be.

03:15:16.000 I think there is a Bergen, New Jersey.

03:15:18.000 Bergen County.

03:15:19.000 Yeah.

03:15:19.000 It's the opposite of New Jersey.

03:15:22.000 What's it like over there?

03:15:24.000 It's there...

03:15:26.000 They're a beautiful people.

03:15:27.000 I don't know if it's because they were doing eugenics or whatever, especially in Sweden.

03:15:30.000 I think that's the dirty secret of Sweden. 0.91

03:15:32.000 It's like if you were ugly, they're like, okay, this one goes. 0.99

03:15:35.000 This one go into a basket. 0.97

03:15:37.000 Yeah, we're putting him here.

03:15:39.000 And they're beautiful.

03:15:41.000 Swedes are beautiful Viking people.

03:15:42.000 Is that it, Jamie?

03:15:43.000 Yeah, it's gorgeous.

03:15:44.000 I ate whale there.

03:15:46.000 You ate a whale?

03:15:47.000 I ate whale there with Magnus Bettnir.

03:15:49.000 How much of a whale?

03:15:50.000 Magnus Bettnir.

03:15:51.000 He's like a big Swedish comic.

03:15:52.000 And in Norway, it's weird because...

03:15:54.000 Look at those houses.

03:15:55.000 They're so Nazi-like. 0.72

03:15:56.000 They are. 0.94

03:15:57.000 They're all the same.

03:15:58.000 Yeah, well, they're all Germanic tribes, but these are like the good Germans, the Norwegians and Swedes.

03:16:04.000 Look, we have red.

03:16:05.000 Next is yellow.

03:16:06.000 Next is red.

03:16:08.000 Next is white.

03:16:09.000 Yeah, welcome to Norway.

03:16:11.000 Purple roof.

03:16:12.000 Here's some herring for breakfast.

03:16:16.000 They're smart.

03:16:17.000 They're advanced.

03:16:18.000 It's clean.

03:16:18.000 They speak four languages.

03:16:20.000 Four?

03:16:21.000 They speak English, Swedish, or Norwegian, which is the same language.

03:16:26.000 The Norwegians can understand the Swedes.

03:16:29.000 The Swedes struggle to understand the Norwegians.

03:16:32.000 In Denmark, Sweden, and Norway, it's the same language, but it's different.

03:16:37.000 Neither one of them...

03:16:38.000 The Norwegians and Swedes can't understand... 1.00

03:16:42.000 The Danish, but the Danish can understand the Norwegian and the Swedish.

03:16:45.000 It's bugged out.

03:16:46.000 They're bugged out.

03:16:47.000 They share a history, and then the Finns are different. 0.97

03:16:50.000 They have a different language that's not based on, what is it, Indo-Hungarian or whatever.

03:16:56.000 And they're like four blocks away.

03:16:57.000 They're like right there.

03:16:59.000 Weird.

03:16:59.000 And the Finns are like these weird blonde people with Mongolian, they have Asian eyes, but they're like blonde.

03:17:07.000 It's because they're like, I think they were Mongolian that came over and They mix with the Germanic tribes.

03:17:12.000 They're bugged out.

03:17:12.000 But they're like the smartest.

03:17:13.000 They have the best school system in Finland.

03:17:15.000 They don't have grades.

03:17:16.000 They have like four-day school days.

03:17:19.000 The kids don't have homework and they're like the smartest.

03:17:22.000 No homework is awesome.

03:17:24.000 Yeah.

03:17:24.000 That's the way.

03:17:25.000 When you're a kid, you hate homework. 0.99

03:17:27.000 What the fuck is homework? 1.00

03:17:28.000 It's bullshit. 1.00

03:17:29.000 They're trying to get you in the cubicle. 1.00

03:17:31.000 Yeah.

03:17:32.000 They're trying to get you into a spot.

03:17:34.000 Yeah.

03:17:35.000 Stay here.

03:17:36.000 Yeah.

03:17:36.000 Keep working.

03:17:37.000 Yeah.

03:17:37.000 No sleep.

03:17:38.000 Yeah, that's another thing that's antiquated.

03:17:41.000 Even the five-day work week, why?

03:17:43.000 Why?

03:17:44.000 Yeah, it used to be seven.

03:17:45.000 Right.

03:17:46.000 And I would give them two days.

03:17:47.000 Why eight hours a day?

03:17:49.000 Why? 1.00

03:17:49.000 One-third of your fucking day? 1.00

03:17:51.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:17:53.000 And then you have commuting.

03:17:54.000 So that's two hours up and back.

03:17:57.000 So you have like, what, six left?

03:18:00.000 And then you go to sleep?

03:18:01.000 No good.

03:18:03.000 Yeah, and in Scandinavia, I think in France now it's a four-day work week.

03:18:07.000 I think it would be good for the economy because then you have more money to spend.

03:18:10.000 Sort of, but they can't compete with us.

03:18:12.000 No.

03:18:13.000 When was the last time you saw a great French comic?

03:18:16.000 Oh, yeah.

03:18:18.000 Well, yeah.

03:18:19.000 They have their own scene where they take our jokes and then perform them in French.

03:18:22.000 Yeah, they know it.

03:18:24.000 Good luck.

03:18:24.000 Yeah.

03:18:25.000 Good luck, fuckface. 1.00

03:18:26.000 They love their culture. 1.00

03:18:27.000 They got good stuff.

03:18:28.000 They got good cheese and stuff.

03:18:29.000 They have great bread.

03:18:30.000 Yeah.

03:18:30.000 I remember this one bartender in Brooklyn.

03:18:33.000 This pissed me off.

03:18:35.000 This was a French thing.

03:18:36.000 She was French.

03:18:37.000 And it was a French restaurant.

03:18:38.000 I went in and I was like...

03:18:39.000 I was in love with Duval.

03:18:42.000 You know that beer?

03:18:43.000 Duval?

03:18:44.000 Duval? 1.00

03:18:45.000 I called it Duval because I'm an American idiot, according to her. 0.99

03:18:48.000 So I went in and I was like, can I have a Duval? 1.00

03:18:50.000 And she went, quoi?

03:18:52.000 And I went, Duval, you know the beer?

03:18:54.000 And she did like the what?

03:18:55.000 Like seven times and then she went, oh, you mean Duval. 1.00

03:18:59.000 And I was like, you made me do that, you bitch. 1.00

03:19:01.000 Because I was pronouncing it wrong. 0.99

03:19:03.000 Yeah, it's good.

03:19:04.000 What did you call it?

03:19:05.000 I called it a Duval.

03:19:07.000 But it's called Duvel, according to her. 0.99

03:19:10.000 Well, it's spelled Duvel, so I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you. 0.98

03:19:13.000 Is it good? 0.95

03:19:15.000 It's really good, man.

03:19:16.000 It's really good.

03:19:17.000 Better than Budweiser?

03:19:18.000 I doubt it.

03:19:21.000 Budweiser gets warm, it tastes like piss.

03:19:23.000 I'm sorry, yeah.

03:19:24.000 What is Duvel's?

03:19:25.000 It tastes like when it's warm.

03:19:27.000 Good point.

03:19:28.000 Yeah, good point.

03:19:29.000 I haven't tried it warm. 1.00

03:19:31.000 Probably shit, too. 0.99

03:19:32.000 We used to always hear that about, like, European beers. 1.00

03:19:35.000 They liked it warm.

03:19:36.000 They drink it warm, I think, sometimes.

03:19:37.000 Oh, that's why they didn't succeed.

03:19:42.000 It's better cold, let's be honest.

03:19:44.000 Yes!

03:19:45.000 Most things are. 0.99

03:19:47.000 Except for fucking... 0.99

03:19:48.000 It's good when it's a little sweaty. 0.99

03:19:50.000 Yeah.

03:19:51.000 You don't want cold beer in, like, cold fucking. 0.99

03:19:57.000 No. 1.00

03:19:58.000 No. 1.00

03:19:58.000 You want to be cozy fucking. 1.00

03:20:00.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:20:01.000 Cold beer and warm fucking. 1.00

03:20:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:20:04.000 Yes.

03:20:05.000 Yes.

03:20:06.000 Yeah.

03:20:06.000 Duvel.

03:20:07.000 Yeah.

03:20:08.000 Well, they just live in cold up there.

03:20:11.000 I mean, it's like...

03:20:11.000 No sun.

03:20:13.000 Highest suicide rate, I think, is like one of those countries, Finland, Sweden, or Norway.

03:20:16.000 Really?

03:20:17.000 They got a weird tribe of people called the Sami people, or Sami, Sami, and they're just like native.

03:20:23.000 They have their own world up there.

03:20:25.000 Nobody goes up there, and they're like a tribal people. 1.00

03:20:28.000 They still live off the land.

03:20:29.000 That's sad.

03:20:30.000 Yeah.

03:20:32.000 Anytime someone doesn't want to come into your neighborhood...

03:20:36.000 That's not good.

03:20:37.000 No.

03:20:38.000 What do you mean?

03:20:38.000 Like them coming down?

03:20:39.000 Or us coming there.

03:20:41.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:20:41.000 But then don't we fuck up their shit? 1.00

03:20:43.000 How so? 1.00

03:20:44.000 They're living in terrible places.

03:20:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:20:46.000 Warm beer and cold fucking. 1.00

03:20:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:20:50.000 Yeah.

03:20:51.000 I mean...

03:20:52.000 Try Chick-fil-A. It's great.

03:20:55.000 Chick-fil-A is good. 1.00

03:20:56.000 We should go to Scandinavia and be like, have you tried the fucking Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich? 0.99

03:20:59.000 Chick-fil-A is so good we tolerate them being closed on Sunday. 0.99

03:21:02.000 So good.

03:21:03.000 And we tolerate that they're not for gay marriage because that chicken sandwich is so good. 0.95

03:21:07.000 Gay people eat Chick-fil-A. You can't help it, dude. 1.00

03:21:09.000 It's so good.

03:21:10.000 I don't know what they're doing.

03:21:11.000 The right amount of buffalo sauce.

03:21:13.000 What is that?

03:21:14.000 It's the buffalo sauce.

03:21:15.000 Can't lay off buffalo sauce.

03:21:17.000 Is that what it is? 1.00

03:21:18.000 I'll fucking eat buffalo sauce on a boot. 1.00

03:21:19.000 I don't care. 0.99

03:21:20.000 But it's a weird thing.

03:21:22.000 It's like we know that they're super religious to the point where they close down on Sunday.

03:21:26.000 I'm like, whatever.

03:21:28.000 Whenever I drive by Chick-fil-A on Sunday, I'm like, oh yeah.

03:21:32.000 Can't get in there.

03:21:34.000 Is that because they're religious?

03:21:36.000 Yeah.

03:21:36.000 100%.

03:21:37.000 They're legitimately the only fast food, like major fast food chain that's closed on Sunday.

03:21:46.000 Yeah.

03:21:47.000 What happened to all those fundamentalist Christians?

03:21:49.000 Remember that was like the big...

03:21:51.000 They were big.

03:21:52.000 Are they still big?

03:21:54.000 Joel Osteen's big.

03:21:56.000 I mean, that kid does arenas.

03:21:58.000 Arenas.

03:21:58.000 Yeah.

03:21:59.000 He's like you in the religious world. 0.94

03:22:00.000 He's killing it. 1.00

03:22:01.000 Yeah, he's fucking killing it. 1.00

03:22:02.000 Killing the game. 1.00

03:22:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:22:04.000 His material's a little stale, but he's fucking killing it. 0.99

03:22:07.000 Doesn't have to be good. 0.99

03:22:08.000 Yeah, he's just like...

03:22:09.000 There's not a lot of competition.

03:22:10.000 Right. 0.99

03:22:11.000 Imagine if comics started doing religious shit, like comics started doing arenas. 0.99

03:22:18.000 Comics do do arenas. 0.99

03:22:19.000 Like religious arenas.

03:22:21.000 Oh, they're big.

03:22:22.000 We took over.

03:22:22.000 Yeah.

03:22:23.000 We started doing both stand-up, do arenas in a day for Jesus, night for dick jokes. 0.96

03:22:29.000 Yeah. 0.97

03:22:29.000 Well, yeah. 0.97

03:22:31.000 But that's the problem.

03:22:32.000 It's like it's an art form that's underrepresented by talented people.

03:22:39.000 Which one?

03:22:40.000 The religious?

03:22:42.000 Fundamentalist religion.

03:22:44.000 Yeah.

03:22:45.000 It's just an art form.

03:22:46.000 Right.

03:22:47.000 You know, you're getting people, ladies and gentlemen, Jesus wants you to succeed!

03:22:52.000 Jesus!

03:22:54.000 Jesus!

03:22:55.000 Yeah.

03:22:56.000 And so many people, like, they want happiness, they want success, they want redemption, they want all those things.

03:23:03.000 Yeah.

03:23:04.000 And they should be able to do that.

03:23:07.000 I think mediums, too.

03:23:08.000 If you believe that, if you believe John Edward can speak to your dead relatives, why are we being mean to John Edward?

03:23:14.000 That's a skill.

03:23:15.000 He has an earpiece in.

03:23:16.000 He does have an earpiece in, yeah.

03:23:18.000 I love that.

03:23:19.000 The cold reading is like, is anyone here?

03:23:22.000 Did anyone have a John?

03:23:23.000 A J? Someone's like, yeah. 1.00

03:23:26.000 It's like, what?

03:23:26.000 You can talk to dead people, but it's like a bad connection?

03:23:28.000 What do you have, like Metro PCS? Yeah.

03:23:32.000 It's better than Metro BCS. Yeah.

03:23:36.000 If you can pull it off, get your money, Long Island Medium.

03:23:40.000 She crushes.

03:23:41.000 Who's that?

03:23:42.000 You don't know the Long Island Medium?

03:23:44.000 Oh, I do.

03:23:44.000 I was in a place in Vegas, and I looked at the schedule for the future, and the Long Island Medium was like two weeks later.

03:23:53.000 I was like, what?

03:23:54.000 She crushes.

03:23:55.000 She's big.

03:23:56.000 She had a show, and she's just like a housewife in New Jersey who speaks to dead people. 1.00

03:24:01.000 Does she really?

03:24:02.000 Of course not.

03:24:03.000 Of course not.

03:24:04.000 Of course not.

03:24:04.000 There she is.

03:24:05.000 Look at her hair. 0.62

03:24:05.000 Oh my god. 0.62

03:24:06.000 I'm from Long Island. 1.00

03:24:07.000 Look at that fucking hair. 1.00

03:24:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:24:10.000 Jesus Christ, look at that hair. 1.00

03:24:11.000 It's like she wants you to know she's full of shit. 1.00

03:24:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:24:15.000 Teresa Caputo.

03:24:17.000 Teresa Caputo.

03:24:18.000 You can't make this stuff up.

03:24:20.000 Yeah.

03:24:20.000 Go back to that.

03:24:22.000 What was that? 0.99

03:24:24.000 Make that bigger so my fucking old eyes can read it. 0.99

03:24:28.000 What does it say? 0.98

03:24:29.000 In case anyone is interested in reading about the live experience.

03:24:34.000 I think these are fan testimonial. 0.98

03:24:36.000 Oh god damn it. 0.99

03:24:38.000 You can't make this stuff up. 1.00

03:24:40.000 But you can.

03:24:41.000 You totally can! 1.00

03:24:42.000 You can make a lot of shit up. 1.00

03:24:44.000 Go to the photos. 1.00

03:24:45.000 I want to see the people that believe.

03:24:47.000 Show me.

03:24:48.000 Yeah, there you go.

03:24:49.000 Yeah, that girl in the lower right. 1.00

03:24:50.000 The girl in the upper right, rather, with the blue dress.

03:24:52.000 She believes.

03:24:53.000 She believes.

03:24:54.000 Of course she does.

03:24:55.000 That guy in the middle, go above.

03:24:57.000 I think these are appearances.

03:24:58.000 I understand.

03:24:59.000 That guy.

03:24:59.000 Of course he believes.

03:25:00.000 He wants to fuck her. 1.00

03:25:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:25:02.000 He wants to fuck her right in the hair. 1.00

03:25:04.000 Wants to fuck her hair. 1.00

03:25:06.000 Keep going. 1.00

03:25:07.000 Scroll down.

03:25:08.000 Looks like she has an animal on her head. 0.97

03:25:09.000 Oh my god.

03:25:10.000 It's an alien.

03:25:11.000 Look at that guy.

03:25:13.000 Is that Steve Harvey?

03:25:13.000 Yeah, that's me.

03:25:14.000 These are all TV show appearances.

03:25:16.000 She's massive.

03:25:18.000 She's big.

03:25:22.000 That would be funny if she really, like, if God chose her.

03:25:26.000 Right.

03:25:27.000 Yeah, that would be funny.

03:25:28.000 Yeah.

03:25:29.000 But probably not, right?

03:25:31.000 No, probably not, yeah. 1.00

03:25:32.000 Yeah, probably full of shit. 1.00

03:25:33.000 You ever see that documentary about the guy who tried to prove those guys wrong and did it? 1.00

03:25:38.000 Oh, what's it?

03:25:40.000 Oh, God, it's such a good documentary. 1.00

03:25:42.000 Fuck. 1.00

03:25:43.000 It was on Netflix for a while. 1.00

03:25:45.000 And he actually was a guy like Darren Brown.

03:25:51.000 You ever heard of that guy Darren Brown?

03:25:52.000 I've had him on.

03:25:53.000 Yeah, who like proved that it was wrong, but he did it before Darren Brown. 1.00

03:25:57.000 And like the biggest medium at the time, he called them out for being full of shit. 0.99

03:26:02.000 He went in, he had like a team of guys going and they caught the radio waves of them and totally called them on their bullshit. 1.00

03:26:09.000 The Great Something. 0.99

03:26:10.000 His name was like The Great...

03:26:11.000 I can't remember.

03:26:12.000 It's an amazing documentary.

03:26:13.000 It's sad.

03:26:15.000 Yeah.

03:26:15.000 People want to be manipulated.

03:26:18.000 Reality is kind of like...

03:26:21.000 Reality is full of pain.

03:26:22.000 People don't want it.

03:26:23.000 They want to believe that their relatives are talking to them, watching over them, their dog is galloping in heaven.

03:26:30.000 Their dog is galloping in heaven.

03:26:32.000 Galloping in heaven, yeah.

03:26:33.000 That is what they want.

03:26:34.000 Yeah.

03:26:35.000 Maybe your dog is.

03:26:37.000 Or maybe your dog is now a butterfly.

03:26:41.000 Yeah.

03:26:41.000 Worm food.

03:26:42.000 And then we continue on.

03:26:44.000 Or your dog is now your baby.

03:26:47.000 Yeah.

03:26:48.000 Comes back, the spirit comes back as...

03:26:53.000 People step on ants, you come back as an ant.

03:26:56.000 Yeah.

03:26:57.000 It goes on forever and ever and ever.

03:27:00.000 There's got to be a finite amount of energy.

03:27:03.000 Maybe reincarnation is true.

03:27:06.000 Well, the weirdest description of life I ever read was this guy was describing how you live the same life over and over and over again until you get it right.

03:27:21.000 And I brought it up to my daughter the other day, and she was angry.

03:27:24.000 She was like, I don't want to do this.

03:27:25.000 I go, wait a minute, stop.

03:27:26.000 Do you not love your life?

03:27:28.000 She goes, I do.

03:27:30.000 I go, do you not love your family?

03:27:31.000 She goes, I do.

03:27:32.000 Do you love your friends?

03:27:33.000 She goes, I do.

03:27:34.000 But I think, I go, but wouldn't you want to just keep going?

03:27:38.000 And she was looking at me like, what if you had to do this over and over and over again until you got it perfect?

03:27:44.000 It's not possible.

03:27:46.000 Well, do you say this because of the life you're living right now?

03:27:51.000 The times you know you ratted out your sister.

03:27:53.000 The times you know you lied about using your phone.

03:27:57.000 The times you lied about whether or not you were paying attention to doing Zoom classes at school.

03:28:04.000 Is that what it is?

03:28:06.000 Or...

03:28:07.000 Like, if I had to live this life over and over and over and over again for infinity, would I be upset?

03:28:17.000 Don't I enjoy this?

03:28:18.000 Like, why am I worried about living it forever and ever?

03:28:22.000 But I think for a lot of people, that's more disturbing than this life ending.

03:28:27.000 If it didn't end, it would have no meaning.

03:28:29.000 Nothing would have any meaning.

03:28:30.000 What has meaning right now?

03:28:32.000 I don't know.

03:28:33.000 I mean, death kind of gives everything meaning because it makes it special.

03:28:38.000 I mean, imagine if I was like, hey, if I don't see you tomorrow, I'll see you in the next million years or trillion or infinity.

03:28:45.000 Everyone's afraid to die, but no one's afraid to sleep.

03:28:50.000 Yeah, Nas, right?

03:28:51.000 Sleep is the cousin of death.

03:28:53.000 I don't sleep.

03:28:57.000 When I had COVID, I was scared to sleep.

03:28:59.000 I developed some weird fear of sleeping, and I wasn't sleeping.

03:29:04.000 How long did this COVID thing last for you?

03:29:06.000 It was like three weeks.

03:29:08.000 Three weeks?

03:29:09.000 Three weeks, yeah.

03:29:10.000 Wow, Jamie got over it in a day.

03:29:12.000 He's got superior genes, man. 0.99

03:29:13.000 Young Jamie fucking crushed it, yeah. 0.99

03:29:17.000 Jamie thought he had an allergy. 0.99

03:29:19.000 Yeah, mine was three weeks.

03:29:22.000 Mine was bad.

03:29:25.000 I had the GI version, so it got in my GI tract, and the diarrhea was legendary.

03:29:32.000 I was on the toilet.

03:29:33.000 Do you feel like overall, though, the experience of getting through it made you better?

03:29:38.000 I do.

03:29:39.000 I do.

03:29:40.000 It humbled me.

03:29:43.000 It made me appreciate health in a way that I've never before appreciated it.

03:29:49.000 I remember saying to myself, I would give up anything to just be healthy and be with my wife and my daughter.

03:29:56.000 They're my life, and that's all I care about.

03:29:58.000 And that was something for a comic.

03:30:01.000 Comics, we're just like these damaged narcissists that always think about ourselves.

03:30:06.000 That is a really beautiful thing that I think came out of it.

03:30:10.000 The only thing I cared about during that whole thing was getting back to my wife and daughter.

03:30:15.000 And now it's stuck with me.

03:30:17.000 I think even doing this massive show, I would be a lot more nervous.

03:30:21.000 And now I'm like, this is the greatest thing. 0.98

03:30:24.000 This is the comics jewel now to sit down with Joe and fucking talk. 0.98

03:30:28.000 This is great. 0.98

03:30:29.000 This is one of the best experiences of my life.

03:30:31.000 But...

03:30:32.000 Being with my daughter and my wife is just like nothing.

03:30:36.000 I just want to be with my daughter. 0.97

03:30:38.000 And some of that was like COVID kicking my ass, being like, I just want to feel healthy to get back with my family. 0.98

03:30:44.000 And that's still there. 0.98

03:30:46.000 And I don't think it'll ever go.

03:30:47.000 Don't you think that's awesome?

03:30:48.000 It's amazing.

03:30:50.000 That's the best thing about overcoming adversity.

03:30:53.000 Yeah.

03:30:54.000 Yeah.

03:30:54.000 It makes you stronger.

03:30:56.000 It does make you stronger.

03:30:58.000 It humbles you.

03:31:00.000 And through that humility, you do grow empathy.

03:31:05.000 You grow sympathy.

03:31:07.000 You see yourself critically.

03:31:09.000 Like I was calling all my friends and apologizing.

03:31:12.000 And that made me scared to him.

03:31:14.000 I was like, am I losing it?

03:31:15.000 Because I needed to call everyone.

03:31:17.000 Because I started to become like this really closed person.

03:31:20.000 And like that...

03:31:21.000 I wasn't talking to anyone.

03:31:23.000 It really opened me up to just being more open and connecting with people.

03:31:32.000 It just changed me.

03:31:34.000 It totally changed me to be a better person, for sure.

03:31:37.000 That's what we should all hope for.

03:31:39.000 Everyone should get COVID. Bad.

03:31:41.000 Bad case.

03:31:44.000 Things that challenge you.

03:31:47.000 Yes.

03:31:48.000 Yes.

03:31:49.000 100%.

03:31:50.000 100%.

03:31:51.000 The scariest things, facing your fears...

03:31:56.000 The things that hurt you the most, that you get through, it's a cliche, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 0.96

03:32:03.000 It's just fucking true.

03:32:04.000 It's just a true thing. 0.97

03:32:06.000 And you almost don't become a better person unless you have adversity.

03:32:11.000 There's no...

03:32:12.000 It's like, how good would Muhammad Ali be if he didn't have the Rumble in the Jungle or Frasier?

03:32:17.000 Would he be the great, you know?

03:32:18.000 If he was just mowing everyone down.

03:32:20.000 That's the thing about Khabib. 0.99

03:32:21.000 You're like, did he face someone?

03:32:23.000 He mowed everyone down and that's...

03:32:26.000 Yeah, but he mowed down the best of the best.

03:32:29.000 He mowed down the best.

03:32:30.000 Connor fought him after a two-year layoff.

03:32:33.000 He was kind of boozing a little bit, right?

03:32:34.000 Like, if you think Connor was in the flow, you think he would have maybe had better takedown defense?

03:32:39.000 Maybe he would have.

03:32:39.000 He won a round.

03:32:40.000 Nobody's ever done that.

03:32:43.000 I want to see one more fight between them.

03:32:45.000 Well, he was retired.

03:32:47.000 I know.

03:32:48.000 He's done.

03:32:49.000 I know.

03:32:49.000 Do you think that eats Connor up?

03:32:51.000 Maybe, but it's supposed to eat him up.

03:32:53.000 I mean, he's going to level Dustin.

03:32:54.000 I mean, he's going to level him.

03:32:55.000 Who knows?

03:32:57.000 I mean, the kid's a good striker.

03:32:58.000 Dustin might crack him.

03:33:00.000 He's got to get hold of him.

03:33:01.000 I don't know.

03:33:02.000 He's got a good chin too, Connor.

03:33:03.000 The only thing is he gasses.

03:33:05.000 He gasses.

03:33:06.000 Well, he gasses because he sprints.

03:33:08.000 His whole style is explosive.

03:33:10.000 His whole style is just darting on you with explosive, fast twitch muscle fiber.

03:33:18.000 Really fast punches and kicks and just tries to end you quick.

03:33:22.000 That's the beautiful thing about balance.

03:33:27.000 You hit the gas quickly, you don't have it at the end.

03:33:30.000 Yeah.

03:33:31.000 There's no yang without a yang.

03:33:33.000 For every strength, there's a weakness.

03:33:35.000 MMA, that's what makes MMA so dope. 1.00

03:33:37.000 You're watching two dudes, you're like, this guy's strong here, striking, this guy's good at grappling, this guy's good at jujitsu, this guy's...

03:33:43.000 That's why it's analogous to life.

03:33:46.000 There's a thing that makes it, you can reference all of the various aspects of any kind of discipline where it's like a really difficult struggle.

03:33:56.000 You could reference those and use those as an example for life.

03:34:02.000 Yeah.

03:34:03.000 Yeah.

03:34:04.000 And maybe the world in America is the way that it is now is because a lot of people are not having kids.

03:34:11.000 People on the coast especially are waiting until they're like 60 to have kids.

03:34:16.000 They're so comfortable in the city.

03:34:19.000 Their food's just right there in the supermarket.

03:34:22.000 They're avoiding struggle.

03:34:23.000 There's just no struggle.

03:34:24.000 They're scared.

03:34:25.000 Parents are paying for their rent.

03:34:27.000 They're living their dream.

03:34:28.000 Oh, parents paying for your rent.

03:34:29.000 Oh, so dangerous.

03:34:31.000 Do you think it'd be better?

03:34:32.000 Here's my idea.

03:34:33.000 You tell me, Joe, what you think about this.

03:34:35.000 If this was my political platform.

03:34:38.000 Because so many people with dreams come to cities and gentrify cities.

03:34:42.000 Don't you think there should be like a dream police?

03:34:45.000 Where we hire a bunch of people from that city, like lower...

03:34:49.000 Isn't that a police song?

03:34:50.000 Huh?

03:34:51.000 The dream police...

03:34:52.000 I don't know.

03:34:55.000 I don't know.

03:34:55.000 Sorry.

03:34:56.000 But then you get like five years...

03:34:58.000 If you're going to be a comic or an actor or a writer, you get like five years. 0.99

03:35:01.000 And if you don't make it, then we hire like a bunch of like underprivileged kids to just beat the shit. 0.99

03:35:09.000 Like just jump them one night. 0.99

03:35:10.000 But there's some people that like they get through five years and they figure it out.

03:35:15.000 I know.

03:35:15.000 They figure out what they're doing wrong, and then they rise.

03:35:19.000 But too late.

03:35:20.000 You met your five-year quota.

03:35:22.000 That keeps the dream train moving, you know?

03:35:24.000 Yeah, but the dream train can't have that, because everybody's perspective is different.

03:35:29.000 The place they're coming to it from is different.

03:35:32.000 Some people, it takes them 10 years, and then they rise.

03:35:35.000 Yeah.

03:35:36.000 We don't want to deprive people of certain folks.

03:35:40.000 All right.

03:35:40.000 Well, I'll remove it from my platform then.

03:35:42.000 Okay.

03:35:45.000 Yeah, you can't put a timeline on evolution.

03:35:50.000 It's like chimps are still around.

03:35:53.000 So are people.

03:35:54.000 Chimps are starting to use rocks and tools. 0.96

03:35:57.000 There's a lot of anthropologists that think that primates are in the Stone Age right now. 0.91

03:36:04.000 I saw a video of them one fishing or some shit, like spearfishing, right? 0.97

03:36:08.000 Yeah, an orangutan. 0.99

03:36:09.000 Yeah.

03:36:10.000 It's bugged out.

03:36:10.000 Yeah.

03:36:11.000 It's crazy.

03:36:11.000 Yeah.

03:36:12.000 Hanging onto a branch.

03:36:13.000 Yeah.

03:36:13.000 Spearing fish.

03:36:14.000 Yeah.

03:36:15.000 It's weird.

03:36:15.000 That's us.

03:36:16.000 That's us like a million years ago, whatever.

03:36:19.000 And when you look at some of those tribes, like the Brazilian rainforest still has those indigenous tribes, and it's like looking back in time.

03:36:29.000 Yeah, in a lot of ways. 0.88

03:36:30.000 But maybe better, because they don't have the distractions, they don't have a lot of the bullshit, and they're doing ayahuasca, you know, like merging with each other. 0.73

03:36:42.000 Yeah. 0.96

03:36:43.000 On these, you know, monthly rituals.

03:36:45.000 They're getting together and then...

03:36:48.000 And they're not trying to hide from death, you know?

03:36:52.000 Yeah.

03:36:52.000 I'm scared of that stuff.

03:36:54.000 I'm scared of the loss of control.

03:36:56.000 Who isn't?

03:36:57.000 Yeah.

03:36:58.000 We all are. 0.99

03:36:59.000 That's why, like, I'm scared of drugs and shit. 0.99

03:37:00.000 I'm like... 0.99

03:37:01.000 What drugs are you scared of?

03:37:02.000 All of them.

03:37:03.000 I just don't...

03:37:04.000 Yeah, I don't want to feel anything.

03:37:05.000 I don't want to feel like, oh my god, I'm not in control.

03:37:07.000 You smoke pot?

03:37:08.000 No.

03:37:11.000 What about mushrooms?

03:37:12.000 I did Mushrooms once, and I just remember I was running around going, where is the script?

03:37:18.000 Where is the script?

03:37:19.000 That's what you're saying?

03:37:20.000 Yeah, everything felt scripted.

03:37:22.000 I was going, where is the script?

03:37:24.000 What do you mean?

03:37:24.000 I just remember feeling like things were fake.

03:37:29.000 It wasn't real.

03:37:31.000 And one of my friends, it just felt like a play.

03:37:36.000 That's probably life.

03:37:37.000 Yeah.

03:37:38.000 It felt like...

03:37:38.000 Same experience my first time mushrooms too.

03:37:40.000 Really?

03:37:40.000 We all thought everyone was here for us.

03:37:42.000 We're like, thank you for showing up to our movie.

03:37:44.000 That's exactly how I felt.

03:37:46.000 100%.

03:37:46.000 Yeah.

03:37:46.000 Really?

03:37:49.000 Very weird.

03:37:49.000 Yeah.

03:37:50.000 And I was running around saying that and people were going like, what are you talking about?

03:37:56.000 I was like, there's a script.

03:37:57.000 Where's the script?

03:37:58.000 Oh, I never had that.

03:38:02.000 Have you ever had a bad trip?

03:38:04.000 Oh, yeah.

03:38:05.000 Yeah.

03:38:07.000 Most of the times I smoke pot.

03:38:09.000 So why do you continue to do it if it's bad?

03:38:11.000 I force bad trips. 0.99

03:38:13.000 You're a beast. 0.97

03:38:14.000 I don't want anything to do with that. 0.99

03:38:16.000 I'd be like, mommy, I'm scared enough.

03:38:18.000 Turn it off.

03:38:19.000 I like being scared.

03:38:20.000 Yeah.

03:38:21.000 I do.

03:38:21.000 I like being super paranoid.

03:38:26.000 Oh my god.

03:38:26.000 I get worried about my sanity when that happens.

03:38:28.000 I do too.

03:38:29.000 Yeah.

03:38:29.000 I do too.

03:38:30.000 I like it.

03:38:32.000 Why?

03:38:33.000 Because I worry...

03:38:34.000 I think that there's a real...

03:38:37.000 I know I've gone through it before.

03:38:39.000 The first couple times I probably didn't like it.

03:38:41.000 But I know that now I've been through it and I know on the other end I'm going to learn something about myself.

03:38:47.000 Why I'm scared, what I'm worried about.

03:38:50.000 Like, the only way to really find out what you're worried about, especially if you're a protective person who's like, you know, your ego is strong and, you know, you think about yourself in a certain way, you've got to obliterate that.

03:39:02.000 And the best way to obliterate that, for me, is like a bad trip.

03:39:06.000 Wow.

03:39:07.000 You know, because you get on the other end of it and you go, okay, I'm sorry.

03:39:11.000 Like, I'm going to be a better person.

03:39:13.000 Yeah.

03:39:15.000 Yeah, that's...

03:39:16.000 It's a scary thing that you always survive.

03:39:19.000 You always survive.

03:39:21.000 Like, I know when I'm getting into it that it's scary, but I also know that I'm most likely going to survive.

03:39:27.000 So I just breathe and just get through it.

03:39:30.000 Yeah.

03:39:31.000 And then I learn something on the other end.

03:39:33.000 Breathing is a big part of it.

03:39:35.000 When you get scared, you stop breathing.

03:39:37.000 It's funny.

03:39:38.000 Breathing is huge.

03:39:39.000 Six seconds in.

03:39:41.000 Hold it.

03:39:42.000 Six seconds out.

03:39:43.000 Yeah.

03:39:44.000 When I was trying to get my heart rate down after I was panicking with COVID, that's what I was doing.

03:39:47.000 I was doing through the nose, holding it, and then letting it out.

03:39:51.000 Yeah.

03:39:53.000 Yeah.

03:40:06.000 I'm doing it with you now.

03:40:07.000 Just go six in, six out.

03:40:10.000 It really turns out to be five seconds. 0.99

03:40:12.000 You count to six, but you're a bitch, so you're really getting five seconds in in a six-second count. 1.00

03:40:21.000 That's how I think about myself. 0.99

03:40:22.000 When I'm nervous about things, I go six in, six out.

03:40:26.000 And it turns out to be generally about five seconds.

03:40:28.000 Navy SEALs can probably hold it for a long time.

03:40:31.000 Oh yeah, you have to.

03:40:33.000 Well, anybody who's a free diver, all that stuff is just about control.

03:40:38.000 It's about controlling your anxiety and your fear.

03:40:44.000 But you concentrate on your breathing instead of concentrating...

03:40:48.000 On your worries and your fears, and you can get through it.

03:40:53.000 Yeah, you always do.

03:40:54.000 That's the thing about anxiety.

03:40:56.000 It feels like it's going to stay, but it always goes.

03:41:00.000 That's why I like bad trips.

03:41:01.000 Because you know it's going to end.

03:41:02.000 Yeah, because I feel in the middle of it.

03:41:06.000 This is terrifying, but on the end, I'm going to learn something.

03:41:10.000 I'm going to have a revelation.

03:41:14.000 What was your worst trip?

03:41:16.000 You've probably had a bunch.

03:41:17.000 I've had a lot.

03:41:18.000 I don't know.

03:41:19.000 I mean, just fearful.

03:41:20.000 Just worried about them.

03:41:21.000 That I'm going to die without being a good person.

03:41:24.000 That I'm going to die without reaching my potential.

03:41:28.000 That I've stumbled so many times I'll never recover.

03:41:33.000 All those things.

03:41:34.000 That...

03:41:36.000 Who I know I can be, I will never reach.

03:41:40.000 All the times I've been mean or dismissive.

03:41:46.000 It's just like I've set out ripples in a negative way that I can't bring back, that I can't recover from.

03:41:53.000 That's part of growth, though.

03:41:56.000 Nobody's perfect.

03:41:58.000 Except Jesus.

03:42:00.000 And that's why I'm really here.

03:42:02.000 Guys, Jesus is the way.

03:42:03.000 Dude, we're like four hours and...

03:42:06.000 How many minutes in?

03:42:08.000 3.42.

03:42:09.000 Oh, that's why I can't feel my legs.

03:42:10.000 3.42?

03:42:11.000 Yeah.

03:42:14.000 Cuomo vows New York will legalize adult use recreational cannabis.

03:42:19.000 Oh, wow.

03:42:20.000 Look at that.

03:42:20.000 Wow.

03:42:20.000 Cuomo must have fucking eaten an edible.

03:42:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:42:23.000 Realized.

03:42:24.000 He probably had a bad trip and realized exactly what we've been talking about. 1.00

03:42:29.000 He fucked up. 0.99

03:42:30.000 Yeah, I mean, the whole marijuana... 1.00

03:42:32.000 What's that?

03:42:32.000 Gambling and weed in like a week.

03:42:34.000 In a week?

03:42:35.000 They gotta do something.

03:42:36.000 Well, that's the best way to bring back the economy.

03:42:38.000 You got to.

03:42:39.000 That's actually very wise of him.

03:42:40.000 Yes. 1.00

03:42:41.000 If that fucking dipshit Newsom would realize the same thing. 1.00

03:42:46.000 I mean, you got to. 1.00

03:42:46.000 You wanna bring back California, fuckface? 1.00

03:42:49.000 You know you fucked up, French laundry boy. 1.00

03:42:53.000 Ha! 1.00

03:42:57.000 You gotta do it.

03:42:58.000 Legal weed!

03:42:59.000 Legal weed and prostitution. 1.00

03:43:01.000 Legal weed is already a thing in California.

03:43:03.000 They need to bring back the cannabis and the gambling.

03:43:06.000 Why not prostitution? 1.00

03:43:08.000 Why not make it legal and tax...

03:43:11.000 Or make gold digging illegal.

03:43:14.000 You gotta be honest.

03:43:17.000 I mean, you gotta respect those ladies. 1.00

03:43:18.000 That's a job.

03:43:19.000 It is a job. 1.00

03:43:20.000 Fucking someone you don't want to fuck. 1.00

03:43:21.000 Yes. 1.00

03:43:22.000 And all the maintenance to look good and get your tits done. 1.00

03:43:24.000 That's a job. 0.99

03:43:25.000 Yes.

03:43:25.000 Maybe they should be taxed on whatever their stipend is, their weekly stipend.

03:43:29.000 No.

03:43:30.000 No.

03:43:30.000 No, they should be free.

03:43:32.000 Free to commit gold digging illegally.

03:43:35.000 But we have to recognize that gold digging is not that much different than prostitution.

03:43:41.000 Very similar.

03:43:42.000 It's legal prostitution. 1.00

03:43:44.000 If you see a dime and she's with Rupert Murdoch, you're like, you need to pull her aside and interrogate her.

03:43:53.000 Or...

03:43:55.000 Legalized prostitution.

03:43:56.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:43:57.000 That's a prostitute. 1.00

03:43:58.000 That's a prostitute. 1.00

03:43:59.000 Yes. 1.00

03:44:00.000 All those girls have fucked Harvey Weinstein. 1.00

03:44:02.000 What do you think is going on? 1.00

03:44:04.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:44:04.000 You think they loved him for his fucking personality and his body? 1.00

03:44:09.000 Zero chance. 1.00

03:44:10.000 Zero chance.

03:44:11.000 Zero chance.

03:44:11.000 Yeah.

03:44:11.000 I'm no mathematician, but zero chance.

03:44:13.000 Yeah.

03:44:14.000 Yeah.

03:44:14.000 I'm not a mathematician either, but I'm sensible.

03:44:17.000 Yeah.

03:44:18.000 Yeah, no, that's the same thing.

03:44:21.000 Same thing.

03:44:22.000 Why is prostitution illegal? 1.00

03:44:24.000 It just makes no sense.

03:44:26.000 No sense.

03:44:27.000 No sense.

03:44:27.000 It's one of those things that you know it's going to happen.

03:44:30.000 Yeah.

03:44:30.000 It's harmless in a lot of ways.

03:44:32.000 It's a choice.

03:44:33.000 Here's why.

03:44:33.000 You'd actually make it safer if it was legal.

03:44:35.000 You don't want your daughter to do it.

03:44:37.000 No!

03:44:37.000 That's why it's illegal.

03:44:39.000 No, I don't.

03:44:39.000 You're like, stop!

03:44:40.000 No!

03:44:41.000 Make it stop! 1.00

03:44:43.000 Yeah.

03:44:44.000 No.

03:44:44.000 No, it should be legal, though.

03:44:46.000 But, you know, it should be discouraged. 0.99

03:44:48.000 Same way as being a garbage man. 0.97

03:44:50.000 Yeah. 0.88

03:44:54.000 Yeah, I mean, there's just no way to get at it.

03:44:56.000 There's just always a downside.

03:44:58.000 Yeah.

03:44:59.000 It's a downside.

03:45:00.000 That's reality.

03:45:00.000 But we need our garbage picked up and some guys need to come.

03:45:03.000 And you just need, you need, those are needs.

03:45:05.000 They're needs that need to be met.

03:45:07.000 I think the world, there'd probably be less violence if prostitution was legal. 1.00

03:45:11.000 100%.

03:45:12.000 Guys get these nuts out.

03:45:13.000 These insecure guys will get these nuts out.

03:45:15.000 None.

03:45:15.000 Not just that, but there's a lot of people that just don't have affection and love.

03:45:20.000 There's people that get paid to spoon with people.

03:45:25.000 You know that, right?

03:45:26.000 Yeah, I've seen that.

03:45:27.000 How is that legal?

03:45:28.000 Yeah. 0.95

03:45:29.000 It's a problem when people cum? 0.96

03:45:30.000 Right. 0.64

03:45:31.000 When's it a problem?

03:45:33.000 How come it's not a problem when people massage your feet?

03:45:36.000 Right.

03:45:37.000 Right.

03:45:38.000 That's legal?

03:45:39.000 Yeah, if some juice came out of your feet, then it makes it illegal?

03:45:41.000 What's the difference?

03:45:46.000 Foot juice!

03:45:47.000 That's a good point, man.

03:45:48.000 That's a very good point.

03:45:49.000 Yeah.

03:45:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:45:50.000 It's fucking ridiculous. 1.00

03:45:52.000 It is. 1.00

03:45:52.000 It's like a bunch of nanny people. 1.00

03:45:54.000 Nanny state. 0.94

03:45:55.000 It really is. 0.66

03:45:56.000 You know, you can't stop prostitution. 1.00

03:45:59.000 Shouldn't stop anything. 0.98

03:46:01.000 And marijuana is one of those things you're like, what the fucks took so long for it to be legal? 0.92

03:46:06.000 I mean, all the evidence. 0.90

03:46:07.000 That's when people get skeptical of the government. 1.00

03:46:10.000 They're going, what the fuck, man? 1.00

03:46:11.000 So I can beat my wife, kill you in a car... 1.00

03:46:15.000 You know, decimate my family, die of liver damage, but I can't smoke a bowl. 1.00

03:46:22.000 You can drink yourself to death. 1.00

03:46:23.000 To death.

03:46:24.000 Alcohol is a hundred times more dangerous than marijuana.

03:46:28.000 Not even the same animal.

03:46:30.000 And it's like, that's illegal?

03:46:32.000 It just doesn't make sense.

03:46:33.000 So what's Cuomo's plan?

03:46:41.000 I didn't look at a plan.

03:46:43.000 I just thought they were going to do it.

03:46:44.000 In two weeks?

03:46:46.000 No, no, no.

03:46:46.000 In the last week, they've announced that they're going to legalize gambling and also this plan.

03:46:52.000 Well, they need to.

03:46:54.000 That's a good move for him.

03:46:55.000 Especially with the tax base gone.

03:46:57.000 Now all the rich people have fled. 0.99

03:46:59.000 Goddamn, they fled. 1.00

03:47:00.000 That fucking de Blasio. 1.00

03:47:02.000 That fucking dipshit. 1.00

03:47:04.000 It's brutal. 1.00

03:47:05.000 That silly man. 0.99

03:47:06.000 Yep. 0.99

03:47:07.000 I didn't think it mattered who the mayor was.

03:47:10.000 I didn't used to think so either.

03:47:12.000 I didn't think it mattered. 0.99

03:47:13.000 But when the shit hits the fan and someone could shut down restaurants, you're like, oh my god, it matters. 0.99

03:47:19.000 It matters so much. 0.99

03:47:20.000 In some ways, it matters more than the president if you live in New York City.

03:47:25.000 100%.

03:47:25.000 It matters so much.

03:47:28.000 Or if you live in Los Angeles.

03:47:29.000 Garcetti.

03:47:30.000 New York needs a Republican mayor.

03:47:32.000 It's a tough money town.

03:47:34.000 That's why when AOC was like...

03:47:37.000 And Markakis, or whatever his name is, some Greek kid who's a local councilman, they were like, no Amazon. 0.90

03:47:42.000 I'm like, what are you talking about, man?

03:47:44.000 No Amazon.

03:47:45.000 What do you think makes a city a city?

03:47:47.000 Throughout history, it's like cities come up around business.

03:47:51.000 She's not even 30. It's like, what do you want to do?

03:47:52.000 More nail salons and pizza shops? 0.94

03:47:54.000 How are we going to fucking get jobs here? 0.98

03:47:57.000 It's the digital age. 0.99

03:47:59.000 It's like Amazon wants to come.

03:48:00.000 Of course they get tax breaks. 0.99

03:48:01.000 That's why they're fucking coming. 0.99

03:48:03.000 But do you know what that does for the economy, you dummy? 1.00

03:48:05.000 You fucking dummy. 1.00

03:48:07.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:48:07.000 And she was like, that money could go to... 1.00

03:48:09.000 It's like, you don't even understand.

03:48:10.000 Where's the money come from?

03:48:12.000 Where does it come from, dude?

03:48:14.000 Yeah, it comes from tax the rich.

03:48:16.000 She sold tax the rich sweaters for $58.

03:48:20.000 Yeah.

03:48:20.000 You know that?

03:48:21.000 I didn't know that, but...

03:48:22.000 You didn't know that?

03:48:22.000 No.

03:48:22.000 She sold sweatshirts.

03:48:24.000 They said tax the rich on them, and they cost $58.

03:48:28.000 Yeah, that's fine.

03:48:30.000 But you gotta be rich to buy this. 0.99

03:48:33.000 What does a fucking sweatshirt cost without tax the rich on it? 1.00

03:48:37.000 It's probably like $10. 1.00

03:48:39.000 Where's the other $48?

03:48:40.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

03:48:41.000 It's so fucking dumb. 1.00

03:48:43.000 It's so dumb. 1.00

03:48:44.000 Yeah, when anyone thinks they have all the answers, that's when you go like, I'm skeptical of that person. 0.99

03:48:49.000 Yeah, you should be.

03:48:50.000 Yeah.

03:48:51.000 You should be.

03:48:52.000 Giannis Papas, we just did it.

03:48:54.000 It was a long, long time coming, but I'm glad.

03:48:56.000 Thank you for having me, man.

03:48:58.000 My pleasure, brother.

03:48:58.000 Yeah, I really appreciate it.

03:49:00.000 Thank you very much.

03:49:00.000 This was so much fun.

03:49:01.000 It was a lot of fun.

03:49:01.000 Let's hang out tonight.

03:49:02.000 Yeah, man.

03:49:03.000 We'll do it again.

03:49:04.000 Yes, sir.

03:49:05.000 God bless America!

03:49:07.000 God bless the world!

03:49:09.000 Praise Oden!

03:49:11.000 Anything else?

03:49:12.000 No, I was going to say those three things.

03:49:14.000 That's a wrap.

03:49:14.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - January 13, 2021

Joe Rogan Experience #1594 - Yannis Pappas

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