The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1610 - Snowpacalypse with Tim Dillon

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!

00:00:13.000 Wouldn't it be cool to have one in Aerosmith right now?

00:00:16.000 I'm back!

00:00:17.000 Yeah, I'm great.

00:00:19.000 I'm back in the saddle again.

00:00:23.000 Great.

00:00:23.000 There's no apocalypse to him, Dylan.

00:00:25.000 Hey, hold it up. 0.65

00:00:26.000 Did I move you out here at a bad time, do you think?

00:00:29.000 I mean, we considered suing you.

00:00:33.000 I was sitting there going, can I take legal action against him?

00:00:36.000 Like, I called a lawyer and apparently I cannot.

00:00:38.000 Listen, I'll give you free meals every time we go out forever.

00:00:42.000 How about that?

00:00:43.000 I mean, I was on a bread line two days ago.

00:00:46.000 My opener flies into town.

00:00:48.000 We're going to fly out for shows.

00:00:49.000 All the flight's grounded.

00:00:50.000 We can't go anywhere.

00:00:51.000 I mean, we're waiting outside of a supermarket for an hour, and then we're eating fish sticks in the dark of my house with no power. 0.78

00:00:58.000 And I'm like, you know, Joe fucking Rogan, man, this was a real fucking leap of faith, but it's looking better today. 0.95

00:01:06.000 It'll be fine. 0.99

00:01:07.000 It'll be fine.

00:01:12.000 But I think what that means is, like, ever recorded.

00:01:16.000 Like, you go back to 1800s, what we're talking about.

00:01:19.000 Or 1900, rather. 0.99

00:01:21.000 Like, what kind of fucking instruments were they using? 0.99

00:01:25.000 Yeah, what were they jotting down? 0.99

00:01:26.000 Thomas Almanac was the big thing back in those days.

00:01:28.000 Yeah.

00:01:29.000 How did that work? 0.99

00:01:30.000 Because that fucking thing was apparently kind of accurate. 0.99

00:01:32.000 It's kind of witchcraft-y. 1.00

00:01:34.000 It's crazy.

00:01:34.000 Yeah, they would predict, like, next year's winter cycles.

00:01:38.000 Yeah, and harvests and things like that.

00:01:40.000 Yeah.

00:01:40.000 What did they do?

00:01:41.000 How did it work?

00:01:42.000 Well, it was just wild driving around Texas and seeing nothing but snow.

00:01:46.000 Yeah.

00:01:47.000 And it looked like Vermont.

00:01:49.000 It looked like you were in the Northeast, but it didn't.

00:01:51.000 It was wild to be in Texas driving around, and nothing was open.

00:01:56.000 Yeah.

00:01:56.000 So gas stations weren't open.

00:01:58.000 Fast food wasn't open.

00:02:01.000 Nothing was open.

00:02:02.000 No.

00:02:02.000 You know?

00:02:03.000 Tell you what was open.

00:02:04.000 The Houston airport, and my boy Ted Cruz was like, yikes!

00:02:06.000 Yeah, he was out.

00:02:07.000 Yikes! 1.00

00:02:08.000 And by the way, isn't it sad that he couldn't get away with it?

00:02:12.000 It's like, here's the thing about the Bush family.

00:02:14.000 Say what you want about them, maybe whack to Kennedy, bygones.

00:02:17.000 But, I mean, now our leaders can't even get caught taking a commercial flight to Cancun.

00:02:23.000 Like, that's pretty sad.

00:02:24.000 But here's the thing, like, what can he do?

00:02:28.000 What is the reason for him staying?

00:02:30.000 Well, I think it's just the optics of how it looks.

00:02:32.000 Yeah, but of course.

00:02:34.000 No, he doesn't have any of...

00:02:35.000 Can he make it warm out?

00:02:36.000 No, I don't think he has any power to do anything good.

00:02:38.000 Maybe he should be there with blankets?

00:02:40.000 Yeah, well, it's funny.

00:02:41.000 It's like the people that hate him the most are the ones that are like, he should be there.

00:02:44.000 And it's like, doing what?

00:02:46.000 Well, here's the thing, though.

00:02:48.000 He was one of the vocal critics of Mayor Adler, who's a Democrat, who went to Cancun as well.

00:02:56.000 Everybody goes to Cancun?

00:02:57.000 I think he was in Cancun.

00:02:59.000 Was he in Cancun or was he in one of those?

00:03:01.000 He made the thing out of the house.

00:03:02.000 Yes.

00:03:03.000 But it was in Cancun or was it Puerto Vallarta?

00:03:05.000 It was one of those nice places in Mexico.

00:03:07.000 Yeah.

00:03:09.000 And he's the mayor of Austin?

00:03:10.000 Yes.

00:03:10.000 He went down there and he was saying, now is not the time to relax.

00:03:15.000 Cabo.

00:03:16.000 Cabo, yeah.

00:03:17.000 So he went down there.

00:03:19.000 I mean, that's the place to relax.

00:03:21.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:03:21.000 I mean, fucking Sammy Hagar's got a song about it. 0.99

00:03:23.000 I mean... 0.99

00:03:25.000 It's crazy to watch.

00:03:26.000 It's also crazy that he got caught and then he came back.

00:03:30.000 Well, he said, I was always coming back.

00:03:33.000 I was being a good father.

00:03:35.000 So you had to put a spin on it.

00:03:36.000 Yeah, I was dropping my face.

00:03:38.000 I feel because Ted Cruz is the face of the guy that always is caught.

00:03:42.000 He looks like the kid at school who gets in on the prank too late and then the teacher catches him.

00:03:47.000 He just looks like he gets caught.

00:03:49.000 He's not one of those guys who gets away with it.

00:03:52.000 No matter what happens, he doesn't get away with it.

00:03:54.000 No.

00:03:55.000 He's...

00:03:56.000 Did you ever see those videos that they made where it was...

00:04:00.000 I don't know who released the full video.

00:04:02.000 The videos that they made where he was running for president and he sat down with his mom and he was talking about, you know, I go to church every day and she's like, every day?

00:04:11.000 Right.

00:04:11.000 His mom threw him under the bus.

00:04:13.000 She's like...

00:04:14.000 Yeah.

00:04:14.000 Every day!

00:04:15.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:04:16.000 I was like, bitch, you don't go to fucking church every day. 1.00

00:04:19.000 And it was like they had a retake scenes. 1.00

00:04:22.000 Oh, the whole thing's a nightmare.

00:04:24.000 But they showed it. 0.99

00:04:25.000 How about somebody from the wife's group text leaked, because they were inviting neighbors going, come to fucking Cabo or wherever the hell, come to Cancun. 0.96

00:04:33.000 And somebody leaked it to the New York Times going, here's the group text proving they were inviting us all. 0.92

00:04:39.000 I wonder how many moms were in that group text. 0.74

00:04:41.000 Too many.

00:04:42.000 Yeah, these are the videos.

00:04:44.000 Oh, this is great.

00:04:46.000 But these things are always gross, man. 0.97

00:04:48.000 Those like, sit down with your mom. 0.88

00:04:50.000 Let's pretend the camera's not here.

00:04:52.000 Right.

00:04:53.000 Tell everyone how good I am.

00:04:54.000 I'm a good person, right mom?

00:04:56.000 Yeah.

00:04:56.000 I'm a God-fearing Christian.

00:04:57.000 Tell everyone what a good person your son is.

00:05:00.000 He was very good, though.

00:05:02.000 I have to give him props.

00:05:03.000 Because there was this one situation where...

00:05:07.000 What was it?

00:05:08.000 It was a tech thing where he was... 1.00

00:05:12.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:05:13.000 I don't remember. 1.00

00:05:14.000 God damn it. 0.98

00:05:16.000 We talked about it on the podcast, Jamie. 0.99

00:05:17.000 Do you remember what it was?

00:05:18.000 Where he was calling them out for...

00:05:23.000 God, it's escaping me.

00:05:25.000 But I was actually kind of impressed.

00:05:26.000 De-platforming people or privacy?

00:05:28.000 Yes.

00:05:29.000 It was...

00:05:29.000 There's a video of him from the summer.

00:05:32.000 He's like, who the hell are...

00:05:33.000 Who is he critiquing, though? 0.79

00:05:36.000 Who is he criticizing?

00:05:37.000 Google?

00:05:38.000 Yes.

00:05:38.000 It says, Ted Cruz on Google and Big Tech Censorship.

00:05:42.000 Yeah, there was a...

00:05:43.000 Who the hell are you to decide who can speak?

00:05:46.000 He was catching them in some hypocrisies and some lies, and it was very good, the way he was doing it, and well phrased. 0.99

00:05:54.000 You gotta give a little if you're gonna shit on the guy. 1.00

00:05:58.000 That fucking tech stuff drives me crazy. 1.00

00:06:01.000 And what drives me crazy is the people on the left that think it's not gonna come for them. 1.00

00:06:05.000 Right.

00:06:06.000 Well, they're all moving here.

00:06:07.000 All these tech guys are in Austin.

00:06:09.000 A lot of them are moving here.

00:06:10.000 And there are some of them that are more, I don't know what you would call it, libertarian in their ideology, where they don't want to shut people down and they want people to speak.

00:06:20.000 But there's just so much...

00:06:21.000 I don't know.

00:06:23.000 It just feels like you're...

00:06:26.000 There's a tide coming in and the tide is going to wash away even those people that are standing up and saying, this isn't right.

00:06:34.000 We shouldn't do this.

00:06:35.000 I just feel like – because people are tired.

00:06:37.000 The public doesn't care and I get it.

00:06:39.000 The public doesn't care.

00:06:40.000 The public is like, you know what?

00:06:41.000 I don't care.

00:06:41.000 Who cares?

00:06:43.000 You don't think they care?

00:06:43.000 I think some of them do but I think it's one of those things that it doesn't affect that many people.

00:06:49.000 Yeah.

00:07:08.000 Yeah, they love when people get in trouble, especially when people outside of the system that are making money get in trouble.

00:07:12.000 So people aren't really as upset about it, and they don't think it's going to lead to where it's going to lead to.

00:07:18.000 That was the whole thing with Alex Jones.

00:07:20.000 It's like it's clearly going to lead – it's not going to die with Alex.

00:07:22.000 It's going to go other places.

00:07:24.000 Right.

00:07:24.000 Once you're getting rid of the freedom of the First Amendment, the freedom of speech, which is – Yeah.

00:07:31.000 Yeah.

00:07:51.000 Right.

00:07:51.000 They're going to hit that switch whenever they disagree with people.

00:07:53.000 Well, it's weird because they also have billions of dollars.

00:07:55.000 If you go on the Clubhouse app and you listen to these people talk, they are – I know you don't, but they are billionaires or worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

00:08:04.000 And their concerns are always like you go into the app and somebody is like, we need more indigenous creators.

00:08:11.000 We need more indigenous entrepreneurs or women of color entrepreneurs or all these goals that are laudable goals, whatever. 0.99

00:08:18.000 But – Then a white guy will come into the conversation and go, well, he goes, I don't really, as a white guy, I want to apologize for even speaking.

00:08:27.000 No.

00:08:27.000 I swear to God.

00:08:28.000 Who's done this?

00:08:28.000 This is a guy on Clubhouse.

00:08:29.000 That's why I'm not on Clubhouse.

00:08:30.000 As a white guy, he goes, I want to, but you got to go into my good rooms.

00:08:35.000 Like, should women be allowed to own Bitcoin? 1.00

00:08:37.000 That's a real debate.

00:08:37.000 Did you make that room?

00:08:38.000 Yeah.

00:08:39.000 The rooms on Clubhouse I make are like, should women be allowed to own Bitcoin? 1.00

00:08:43.000 I want to be a cancer influencer.

00:08:45.000 Okay.

00:08:46.000 How do you build a brand in prison?

00:08:48.000 Should I buy a Bitcoin or pay for my son's surgery?

00:08:51.000 You gotta have fun.

00:08:52.000 The one last night was Ted Cruz has a right to do cocaine with his family in Mexico.

00:08:56.000 You gotta have fun with it.

00:08:57.000 I troll and just have a little bit of fun.

00:08:59.000 But on that app, you listen to these tech people and one really big tech woman who's massive said something that was chilling.

00:09:06.000 She goes, we gotta put guardrails up online.

00:09:08.000 And as soon as she said, we gotta put guardrails up, I felt chilled because I'm like, I know what she means by that.

00:09:14.000 And guardrails are just like, here's where offensive speech is, and we're going to put the guardrail there, and then the guardrail's going to move.

00:09:22.000 Who said this?

00:09:23.000 A very big person who owns a major app that just went public, who's worth $1.5 billion now.

00:09:31.000 And I'm sure she's a lovely, talented woman, but her belief was like, hey, we've got to put some guardrails up online. 0.98

00:09:36.000 But when I heard it, I went...

00:09:38.000 This is a very ominous thing to say.

00:09:42.000 Right, but hold on. 0.99

00:09:43.000 When someone says something like that, she's probably talking about this QAnon shit that led to the Capitol Hill riot. 0.99

00:09:49.000 Perhaps. 1.00

00:09:49.000 Or she's talking about somebody calling someone fat or somebody saying someone's a moron. 1.00

00:09:55.000 I don't know, but is it going to be easy to just draw a line around QAnon stuff? 0.98

00:09:59.000 And then where's the legitimate discussions about human trafficking and political...

00:10:04.000 Yeah, it's hard.

00:10:05.000 It's real hard.

00:10:06.000 Did anybody challenge her?

00:10:08.000 No.

00:10:08.000 Were you in that room?

00:10:10.000 Yeah.

00:10:10.000 Why didn't you say something?

00:10:11.000 I did.

00:10:12.000 I said, okay.

00:10:13.000 I was like, all right.

00:10:14.000 I went, okay.

00:10:15.000 I mean, she's a billionaire, right?

00:10:16.000 So I'm like...

00:10:16.000 So what?

00:10:17.000 I'm letting these rooms and I just kind of...

00:10:19.000 Every now and then I throw out like a joke every eight minutes and then I just go back to listening.

00:10:24.000 What did everyone else say when she said...

00:10:26.000 Yas Queen. 0.99

00:10:27.000 No, they're in.

00:10:28.000 Joe, they're all in.

00:10:29.000 They're in on guardrails?

00:10:30.000 Oh, they want the guardrail.

00:10:31.000 They think it's a great idea.

00:10:32.000 Yeah, no.

00:10:33.000 Because nobody wants to give you any of their money, so they want to solve the world's problems by making everyone nice.

00:10:38.000 Because they're like, listen, I have a billion dollars.

00:10:39.000 I don't want to give you any of that, but I'd like everyone to be nicer.

00:10:43.000 So that's what tech is.

00:10:44.000 It's just a weird cognitive dissonance.

00:10:46.000 Bumble CEO. Well, someone found it.

00:10:48.000 If you want to behave poorly, you cannot do it here.

00:10:51.000 But where is that?

00:10:52.000 On Bumble?

00:10:53.000 Yeah.

00:10:53.000 But that's her app.

00:10:54.000 So that's who said it, by the way.

00:10:56.000 But hold on a second.

00:10:59.000 This is a female-created dating site. 1.00

00:11:01.000 I think she has the right on her dating site to say, look, I've created this atmosphere where I want people to be pleasant on this atmosphere.

00:11:09.000 Because it's a female-created dating site. 1.00

00:11:11.000 I don't want guys sending dick pics unless I ask for them. 1.00

00:11:16.000 You know, that kind of shit. 1.00

00:11:17.000 Well, that's fine, but does anyone... 1.00

00:11:20.000 I'm just...

00:11:21.000 On her app, it's one thing.

00:11:23.000 Right.

00:11:23.000 But no one who wants power and control goes, I'm good with my part of the yard.

00:11:29.000 Most people go, yeah, I want...

00:11:33.000 I think these standards should be enforced uniformly.

00:11:36.000 That's my experience of hearing a lot of these people talk.

00:11:39.000 I think a lot of them are like, yeah, we should...

00:11:43.000 Step in and curate a better world and create a better world and they think they're doing the right thing, but there's a huge downside to it, which I don't know if they realize because they just want to get everyone's data, sell it and make money.

00:11:56.000 So they don't want anything getting in the way of that.

00:11:58.000 Yeah, that's the real problem.

00:11:59.000 Yeah.

00:12:00.000 The real problem is the consumers have become the product, and they didn't know they were the product, and now the people that were selling them are making insane amounts of money.

00:12:10.000 And one of the interesting things that's going on right now is this fight between Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, and Tim Cook.

00:12:15.000 Tim Cook at Apple.

00:12:17.000 Tim Cook is like, hey, just selling ads is good enough.

00:12:20.000 You shouldn't be selling people's data.

00:12:22.000 You shouldn't be infringing on people's privacy.

00:12:25.000 And we're going to put a stop to that.

00:12:26.000 And so Facebook took out this – was it a full-page ad?

00:12:30.000 They did something where they published this piece where Mark Zuckerberg was essentially saying that you are going to punish small businesses, which is the weirdest.

00:12:42.000 Let's see what his argument against Tim Cook was.

00:12:44.000 Because this was fairly recently.

00:12:46.000 Zuckerberg came on Clubhouse for a brief moment.

00:12:48.000 What did he say?

00:12:49.000 I don't know.

00:12:49.000 Does not compute?

00:12:50.000 Yeah, he comes on for like a brief moment, and then he got out. 0.99

00:12:54.000 But sometimes people are in the audience in those apps, like you'll look, you're like, motherfucker, that guy's... 0.98

00:12:58.000 Everybody's waiting for Joe Rogan to come on. 0.97

00:13:00.000 Yeah, that's not happening.

00:13:01.000 Every single person on the app's like, when does Joe Rogan go on the app?

00:13:05.000 Because I said, what Joe Rogan really wants to do is spend four or five hours a night talking.

00:13:09.000 He wants to talk.

00:13:10.000 And he wants to listen.

00:13:11.000 He wants to listen.

00:13:12.000 I want to listen.

00:13:13.000 But we want you to come on for a fun night to just blow it up.

00:13:17.000 Me, the Weinstein family.

00:13:19.000 Oh, listen, those people.

00:13:20.000 Who love me.

00:13:21.000 Now they hate me.

00:13:22.000 They hate me, the Weinsteins.

00:13:23.000 No, the Weinsteins love you, but Eric is very sensitive.

00:13:26.000 Well, yeah, I made fun of them because I said, all these gurus, what have they ever done?

00:13:30.000 I'm like, and Lex Friedman loved it.

00:13:32.000 I said, who are these guys?

00:13:34.000 Have they invented the rotator?

00:13:35.000 What do they do?

00:13:36.000 What is a rotator?

00:13:37.000 It's the thing that peels and slices the potato.

00:13:39.000 I'm like, have they ever had an invention?

00:13:41.000 And then they got mad and they were like, well, this is not good.

00:13:44.000 But I want to do a video.

00:13:45.000 No, no, no, no, more than that.

00:13:47.000 He actually went on Twitter and said, Tim Dillon asked, what have I ever done?

00:13:54.000 And then he starts listing all the things he's done.

00:13:55.000 That's always a mistake.

00:13:57.000 It's wild.

00:13:58.000 That's not a good thing.

00:13:59.000 You're arguing with a man who wears a wig sometimes.

00:14:02.000 Him or you?

00:14:03.000 Both, probably.

00:14:04.000 But I was talking about myself.

00:14:06.000 But I wanted to do a video where I impersonate him, Brett, and Heather.

00:14:10.000 And I might do it.

00:14:11.000 You should do it.

00:14:12.000 I might do it.

00:14:14.000 And we have a Lex Friedman, like a little baby in a suit, as Lex Friedman will put him there.

00:14:18.000 Yeah, I like it.

00:14:19.000 They're all very smart, but it's just like, listen man, comedy's comedy.

00:14:23.000 You gotta have fun.

00:14:24.000 Yes.

00:14:25.000 You've got to have fun.

00:14:26.000 Well, you can't get upset if, listen, if you've done all those wonderful things, and then someone comes and makes fun of you, you go, what have you done?

00:14:32.000 Right.

00:14:33.000 You've got to just let it go.

00:14:34.000 I said that you guys left LA because my podcast was bigger than yours, which is provably untrue.

00:14:40.000 That's provably not true.

00:14:41.000 And I said...

00:14:42.000 Imagine if I went on Twitter...

00:14:44.000 Tim Dillon said, I left LA because his podcast is bigger than mine.

00:14:48.000 That is not true.

00:14:50.000 Here are the numbers.

00:14:51.000 Tim Dillon is a fraud. 0.95

00:14:53.000 He lies about things all the time. 0.99

00:14:56.000 Imagine if I did that.

00:14:57.000 I said, Joe's leaving LA because our podcast is bigger than him.

00:14:59.000 And people go, but you get like 208,000 views on YouTube.

00:15:02.000 I go, you don't understand the message.

00:15:04.000 So it's...

00:15:05.000 You don't understand.

00:15:07.000 There's other things at play. 0.99

00:15:09.000 But I do shit like that all the time. 0.99

00:15:11.000 And it's like, sometimes people get angry. 0.99

00:15:13.000 Well, you have to understand fun.

00:15:15.000 And they have to understand comedy.

00:15:17.000 Comedy, a big part of what you and I both do...

00:15:20.000 We have points.

00:15:22.000 You're serious sometimes.

00:15:24.000 I'm serious sometimes, too. 1.00

00:15:25.000 But we talk shit. 0.99

00:15:27.000 And that's really what it is. 0.99

00:15:28.000 He said to me, have you read my unified theory of everything?

00:15:31.000 I'm like, no.

00:15:31.000 And I gotta be honest.

00:15:32.000 Not gonna.

00:15:33.000 Not gonna do it.

00:15:34.000 Why would I do that?

00:15:35.000 I just don't...

00:15:36.000 Have you...

00:15:36.000 Any time someone says that...

00:15:37.000 I haven't done it.

00:15:38.000 That's an issue.

00:15:39.000 Yeah.

00:15:39.000 Someone said, as a, like, a put you in your place, have you read my unified theory of everything?

00:15:45.000 Right.

00:15:45.000 If I did, I would talk to you about it.

00:15:46.000 Yeah, I'm like, I don't have any...

00:15:47.000 I don't care.

00:15:48.000 I mean, I'm just...

00:15:49.000 I bet it's really interesting.

00:15:50.000 I do care.

00:15:51.000 I'm glad that it's...

00:15:52.000 You've unified everything.

00:15:54.000 Good, good. 0.99

00:15:55.000 Well, he's a fucking brilliant guy. 0.99

00:15:57.000 He's a very smart guy. 0.99

00:15:59.000 I've talked to him on the podcast before.

00:16:00.000 A ton.

00:16:01.000 Very intelligent.

00:16:02.000 Left me...

00:16:03.000 You know, like if you go running with David Goggins or something like that?

00:16:06.000 Well, no, but I'll take your word for it.

00:16:08.000 You're like, I'm just going to sit on the side of the road here and just let you run.

00:16:10.000 Yes.

00:16:11.000 Yeah, he does it.

00:16:12.000 They just run away from you.

00:16:13.000 They're way, you know...

00:16:15.000 They're way ahead of you.

00:16:16.000 It is what it is.

00:16:18.000 Yeah.

00:16:19.000 I'd love to be invited to the Weinstein Thanksgiving next year.

00:16:22.000 Listen...

00:16:23.000 Brett and Eric are wonderful people, and I love Heather as well.

00:16:26.000 They're great.

00:16:27.000 I'm sure they are.

00:16:27.000 I'm giant fans of them.

00:16:28.000 I'm sure they are.

00:16:29.000 They really are.

00:16:30.000 I'm sure.

00:16:31.000 I don't know them. 0.95

00:16:31.000 We were at the Comedy Store, and Andrew Schultz was fucking with Eric. 0.95

00:16:36.000 Oh, yeah. 0.97

00:16:36.000 You could see Eric was like... 0.97

00:16:38.000 Yeah.

00:16:39.000 They had had some sort of interaction online.

00:16:41.000 Right.

00:16:42.000 I forget what it was, but it was playful. 0.99

00:16:44.000 And Schultz starts fucking with him at the store. 0.98

00:16:46.000 The whole thing about comedy is you're taking shots. 0.99

00:16:50.000 You're having fun.

00:16:51.000 It's not meant to be taken seriously.

00:16:55.000 They're in the world, though.

00:16:56.000 But he's 50 years old, and they're dabbling in this world now.

00:16:59.000 But it's also like they're on YouTube. 0.99

00:17:00.000 So you might be a fucking genius, but you're next to me and Logan Paul on YouTube. 0.98

00:17:05.000 So I'm going to say something about something and whatever. 0.99

00:17:10.000 If you're a genius, it shouldn't bother you.

00:17:12.000 I would agree with you, but I just had a conversation with a brilliant friend of mine, literally one of the smartest people I know, and he has a podcast, and he's a...

00:17:23.000 I don't want to say what he does, because I didn't ask him if I could talk about this, but he said, I need to talk to you about how to handle...

00:17:31.000 Criticism and how to handle this stuff on social media.

00:17:33.000 Because I engage too much or I think about it too much or I'm reading it too much and then it fucks with me.

00:17:38.000 And we have this conversation. 1.00

00:17:39.000 I mean, this guy is a fucking genius. 0.99

00:17:41.000 And not just a genius, like a physical specimen, too. 1.00

00:17:44.000 He's an amazing person.

00:17:46.000 And yet...

00:17:47.000 He gets to you.

00:17:48.000 And he's not even controversial.

00:17:49.000 The stuff he talks about is not controversial.

00:17:51.000 But it's just dealing with other... 0.99

00:17:53.000 Whether it's peers or people that are jealous or just straight-up assholes. 1.00

00:17:59.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:17:59.000 Well, comics are in this weird position because we have to look at things and observe things and make fun of things. 0.96

00:18:05.000 We've got to make fun of people we disagree with, make fun of people we agree with.

00:18:09.000 We've got to make fun of the whole landscape.

00:18:11.000 And yourself.

00:18:11.000 And myself, which I do all the time.

00:18:13.000 And it's the whole landscape of what's out there right now.

00:18:16.000 And it's not just, you know, I don't pick a side or I don't go, I may agree with a side, but But I agree with a lot of what those guys say, but it's like, if something happens to be funny, I say it. 0.96

00:18:28.000 Right, if you agree with them, and then you shit on the point that you agree with, because there's gold there. 0.97

00:18:33.000 That's what you gotta do. 0.99

00:18:34.000 That's what we do.

00:18:35.000 That's what you gotta do.

00:18:36.000 You have to do that sometimes.

00:18:37.000 It doesn't mean you don't think they're brilliant.

00:18:41.000 Thank God we have radically different jobs.

00:18:43.000 Thank God my job is not to advance scientific theories.

00:18:49.000 Imagine if you were working for Peter Thiel and you were in charge of all of his money.

00:18:54.000 It would be a very interesting...

00:18:56.000 Teal Capital would have a very interesting three months before it was over.

00:19:01.000 Three?

00:19:01.000 Be over.

00:19:04.000 It would be the end.

00:19:06.000 But we'd go bankrupt a few things.

00:19:08.000 We'd go after...

00:19:09.000 He already did Gawker.

00:19:10.000 We'd go after a few more.

00:19:12.000 Go after a few people I don't like.

00:19:16.000 I think it's a great idea.

00:19:18.000 Text me, Peter.

00:19:19.000 Call me.

00:19:19.000 But a lot of these tech guys are in Austin.

00:19:21.000 They're very interesting.

00:19:22.000 Well, they're moving here because this is a very tech-friendly area.

00:19:26.000 It's a weird place because it's a blue spot in a red state.

00:19:30.000 And it's also a very artistic area.

00:19:34.000 It's also very nice.

00:19:35.000 One of the reasons why I moved here is that it's a lower population than LA and people are just genuinely friendlier.

00:19:43.000 They're friendlier.

00:19:44.000 I've always loved it here.

00:19:45.000 I've been coming here since, I think I did my first gig here in 99. I walked into it, get my hair done, and a woman was like, are you from California?

00:19:52.000 Are you bringing your liberal politics here?

00:19:53.000 I'm like, do I look like I'm bringing liberal politics?

00:19:55.000 I look like Rush Limbaugh.

00:19:56.000 Like, do I look like I'm bringing my liberal politics here?

00:19:59.000 Did you see your license plate?

00:20:00.000 Is that what it was?

00:20:01.000 I think so, yeah.

00:20:02.000 And she's like, where are you?

00:20:03.000 Because I have a New York voice.

00:20:04.000 So they're like, oh, you're not from here.

00:20:07.000 And I'm like, yeah, I'm not bringing my liberal politics.

00:20:09.000 I'm bringing, like, no politics.

00:20:11.000 I guarantee whenever the elections are, I will miss them.

00:20:15.000 I won't know when they are, and someone will call me in a week and go, did you vote?

00:20:18.000 And I'll go, what?

00:20:19.000 So that's whatever ally you want here, you don't get.

00:20:23.000 Well, I have a friend of mine who is out here.

00:20:26.000 He's an older gentleman who I've become friends with since I moved here.

00:20:29.000 And he's a gun enthusiast and kind of an interesting character, but a very smart guy.

00:20:34.000 Right.

00:20:35.000 And he just goes...

00:20:38.000 We're being invaded.

00:20:39.000 Yeah, well, he's right.

00:20:40.000 He's right a little bit.

00:20:40.000 I go, by people like me, you mean?

00:20:42.000 Yeah.

00:20:42.000 Like, I'm part of the invasion.

00:20:43.000 He goes, no, you're a good guy.

00:20:45.000 But it's also like, isn't Austin pretty damn liberal?

00:20:47.000 Like, I drive through Austin, it's like women with like... 1.00

00:20:50.000 I'm saying women, but I don't know.

00:20:52.000 But entities with purple dreadlocks.

00:20:55.000 It's like Antifa runs all states.

00:20:56.000 It's like, I'm bringing liberal values?

00:20:59.000 I mean, it's like crazy.

00:20:59.000 They're worried about the voting.

00:21:01.000 Because they already hate the mayor.

00:21:01.000 Yeah, of course.

00:21:02.000 They already hate the mayor.

00:21:03.000 They hate the homeless situation.

00:21:05.000 They love the governor.

00:21:06.000 Right.

00:21:07.000 They're trying to figure it out.

00:21:07.000 The governor's a good dude.

00:21:08.000 I watched the governor do the press con.

00:21:10.000 He did like a good job.

00:21:11.000 He's a great guy.

00:21:11.000 But you do miss Trump a little bit, because you do miss how Trump would have handled it.

00:21:16.000 Well, then you just go to Andrew Cuomo.

00:21:17.000 Greg Abbott was very respectful. 0.99

00:21:19.000 Well, he's a criminal. 0.93

00:21:20.000 He's a Democratic Trump. 1.00

00:21:20.000 He's a criminal, yeah, who's not funny, and should be in jail. 1.00

00:21:24.000 How about that, huh? 0.96

00:21:25.000 I mean, he's calling and threatening people, telling them not to...

00:21:29.000 Journalists.

00:21:30.000 Yeah, calling and threatening people.

00:21:32.000 He's calling other people, going, hey, man...

00:21:33.000 Politicians.

00:21:34.000 You know, we act a certain way.

00:21:36.000 I don't know what the quote is.

00:21:37.000 Jamie will find it. 1.00

00:21:38.000 But he said something to the guy, like mafia shit. 0.99

00:21:39.000 Yeah, well, Crystal and Sager covered it today on their show, and there's a clip on their Instagram page showing the guy, and he's explaining what Cuomo said to him. 0.99

00:21:54.000 But he basically said, I will destroy you.

00:21:56.000 Yeah. 0.93

00:21:58.000 That's lovely.

00:21:59.000 Isn't that nice?

00:22:00.000 Yeah, they said it accurately.

00:22:02.000 This is cartoonish.

00:22:03.000 Yeah, it's cartoon.

00:22:03.000 And they all get caught.

00:22:04.000 There's the thing with Ted Cruz on a plane or this guy doing it.

00:22:07.000 It's no longer like the 60s when they could just, with impunity, do whatever they wanted.

00:22:11.000 Well, he's a 70-year-old guy.

00:22:13.000 He's probably been doing this his whole life.

00:22:14.000 Of course he has.

00:22:15.000 But you get caught now, and then they look terrible when they get caught.

00:22:19.000 Well, that's the least of it.

00:22:21.000 He looks terrible.

00:22:22.000 The reason why he doesn't want them to say things is because they lied about the COVID numbers in nursing homes.

00:22:28.000 The COVID deaths in nursing homes, which are directly attributable to his policies, killed...

00:22:35.000 It's crazy.

00:22:35.000 Literally, they lied about 50%.

00:22:38.000 Wow.

00:22:39.000 They lied at a 50% rate.

00:22:41.000 So...

00:22:41.000 Yeah.

00:22:42.000 Whatever the fuck the number was, it was 50% off the real number. 0.99

00:22:46.000 Wow. 0.99

00:22:47.000 Which is thousands of deaths.

00:22:49.000 It was a brush fire.

00:22:50.000 Thousands, thousands of people that died.

00:22:53.000 Just think of a pile.

00:22:54.000 Think of like a show that you and I would do at a nice theater.

00:22:57.000 Yeah, sure.

00:22:57.000 And think of those people just stacked up dead because of the decision of a politician.

00:23:01.000 Can they get—is it a—because I know that they're trying to recall Newsom.

00:23:07.000 They're trying to recall him, too.

00:23:08.000 They're trying to recall him, too, yeah.

00:23:09.000 They're gathering the momentum to try to recall him right now.

00:23:12.000 But on top of that, there's also—I don't know if this is true, but I was reading about a potential FBI investigation.

00:23:19.000 There's a criminal investigation.

00:23:20.000 Well, there should be, yeah.

00:23:21.000 Well, one of his aides leaked the fact that they were worried that these numbers were going to get out and that it was going to help the Trump administration.

00:23:30.000 Yeah.

00:23:30.000 This is all...

00:23:31.000 Crazy. 1.00

00:23:32.000 It's all crazy, but also I'm a moron. 1.00

00:23:34.000 I don't really know what the fuck I'm talking about. 0.99

00:23:36.000 Let's just be really clear. 0.98

00:23:37.000 I'm listening to people like Crystal and Sagar from The Hill, from Rising.

00:23:41.000 I actually know what they're talking about, and I'm reiterating what they're saying.

00:23:44.000 Just say to that.

00:23:45.000 Well, I know what I'm talking about, and Cuomo should go to jail.

00:23:48.000 Here it is.

00:23:49.000 U.S. Attorney, FBI investigating Cuomo's handling of nursing home details.

00:23:53.000 Okay, now this is on NBC. Whenever something gets on NBC, you know they're fucked. 1.00

00:23:59.000 Because this is a Democrat. 1.00

00:24:01.000 When they're covering this on NBC, they're throwing him under the bus.

00:24:04.000 Not only that, they've also barred his brother from ever interviewing him on CNN. Well, yeah.

00:24:10.000 I mean, that's a dog and pony show, the idea that he could even interview his own brother and toss him softball questions.

00:24:15.000 But Jake Tapper wants to interview him.

00:24:17.000 I believe it's Jake Tapper, who's a credible journalist.

00:24:21.000 Right.

00:24:21.000 And they're like, uh-uh.

00:24:22.000 He doesn't want to talk to Jake Tapper.

00:24:24.000 No.

00:24:24.000 Because Jake Tapper is going to hold his feet to the fire, or whoever it is.

00:24:27.000 Remember in the beginning Cuomo was the star?

00:24:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:24:29.000 Like Chelsea Handler's like, I want to fuck Cuomo like they were old. 1.00

00:24:32.000 He was the star. 1.00

00:24:33.000 She said that.

00:24:34.000 Imagine being him.

00:24:35.000 What a threat.

00:24:36.000 That's your reward.

00:24:37.000 That's a threat.

00:24:39.000 How would she do it, too?

00:24:40.000 She'd be on top.

00:24:41.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:24:42.000 And she'd punch him. 0.98

00:24:42.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:24:43.000 As soon as she came, she'd punch him right in the nose. 0.69

00:24:48.000 He was the star.

00:24:49.000 Everybody loved him in the beginning, and they were like, he's handling it brilliantly.

00:24:54.000 I thought so.

00:24:55.000 I thought so.

00:24:56.000 This is what I thought.

00:24:57.000 I thought he's calm, and he looks like a leader.

00:25:01.000 I mean, this is like, you know, you see a man who was handling things in a very calm manner, but as time went on, he started to crack.

00:25:10.000 Right?

00:25:10.000 Yeah.

00:25:11.000 And you see this with people that respond to pressure and criticism.

00:25:13.000 It changes their character.

00:25:15.000 Right.

00:25:16.000 This is what I was talking about with my friend.

00:25:18.000 Right.

00:25:18.000 This brilliant guy who's dealing with social media pressure.

00:25:22.000 You take in too much criticism and it starts to change your perspective, which starts to change your behavior, which becomes ultimately very detrimental.

00:25:30.000 And you see it with Cuomo when he started saying, one of the things that he said about lockdowns, he was like, you know, if you didn't want to gain weight, you shouldn't have ate the cheesecake.

00:25:38.000 Yeah.

00:25:39.000 Right.

00:25:39.000 You didn't listen.

00:25:40.000 You didn't listen.

00:25:41.000 You didn't wear your mask.

00:25:42.000 You didn't social distance. 1.00

00:25:43.000 That's not what it is, you fucking idiot. 1.00

00:25:45.000 Right. 1.00

00:25:45.000 That's not what it is. 1.00

00:25:46.000 Right. 0.99

00:25:46.000 What it is, is this virus is very complicated and it's confusing because it was made in a goddamn lab, probably. 0.99

00:25:53.000 Again, I'm a moron. 0.99

00:25:54.000 But... 1.00

00:25:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:25:55.000 People that I know that are smart think it was made in a lab.

00:25:57.000 And they think that what happens is when you enforce lockdowns, you force people inside.

00:26:02.000 And you force people to be right on top of each other.

00:26:04.000 And they breathe each other's air.

00:26:05.000 And that's how people get sick. 0.98

00:26:07.000 And it's more likely that they're going to get sick that way than if you let them do things and just fucking go out in public and just go around and go places. 0.96

00:26:17.000 Well, this was also a guy that when New York was descending into a crime-infested hellscape, he said, everybody come back, I'll cook for you. 0.97

00:26:24.000 I'll cook for you.

00:26:25.000 I'll make you sauce.

00:26:28.000 There's people in New York right now beating each other with metal bats in the street.

00:26:32.000 I saw that video.

00:26:33.000 To death.

00:26:34.000 And de Blasio has people doing a dance routine at Cuomo's town.

00:26:38.000 People will make them sundae sauce.

00:26:40.000 It's a little disturbing.

00:26:40.000 How about that de Blasio video?

00:26:42.000 I sent you that, right?

00:26:43.000 Yeah, it's absurd.

00:26:43.000 How about...

00:26:44.000 It's crazy.

00:26:45.000 It's one of the craziest things I've ever seen.

00:26:46.000 That was one of the rare times I post on Twitter.

00:26:47.000 Yeah.

00:26:48.000 Rare times I post on Twitter. 0.96

00:26:49.000 I post that and I said, how the fuck is this a real thing? 0.96

00:26:52.000 How is this a real thing? 0.98

00:26:53.000 Yeah.

00:26:54.000 It's literally a Coen Brothers sketch.

00:26:56.000 It's a scene in the Big Lebowski.

00:26:59.000 Yeah.

00:26:59.000 It's absurdist beyond belief.

00:27:01.000 Yeah.

00:27:02.000 Please play that.

00:27:03.000 Yeah, he has a dance troupe.

00:27:04.000 We're gonna bring back culture.

00:27:05.000 We're gonna bring back the arts.

00:27:07.000 This is what you say when you've never created a business.

00:27:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:27:10.000 This is the kind of shit that you do. 1.00

00:27:11.000 And they're not even good. 1.00

00:27:12.000 Play this.

00:27:13.000 They're horrible. 0.83

00:27:14.000 No, but it's not just they're horrible.

00:27:18.000 We're going to really bring back the heart and soul of New York City.

00:27:20.000 We need our arts and culture back, and we need people to see it and feel it, to participate in it, to know that that essence of New York City has not been defeated by the coronavirus, but will come back strong in 2021. That's Whitney Cummings.

00:27:33.000 What is his?

00:27:34.000 That is Whitney.

00:27:35.000 As you see the city come back to life, culture will lead the way.

00:27:38.000 Open culture is another step towards a recovery for our city.

00:27:42.000 Stop.

00:27:43.000 Stop.

00:27:44.000 Stop.

00:27:44.000 I can't.

00:27:47.000 If I was a businessman who lost their business because they wouldn't allow me to stay open, but they allow Target to be open, they allow these giant businesses...

00:27:56.000 Where was the guy with the bat for that?

00:27:58.000 And here's the other thing. 0.99

00:28:00.000 When you tell someone that their business is not essential, do you know how infuriating that must be if you run a goddamn restaurant? 0.93

00:28:06.000 Well, it's also the essential workers, by the way, started to get attitudes. 0.52

00:28:09.000 I don't know if you know this, but a lot of the supermarket workers started to get a chip on the shoulder, and I didn't like it.

00:28:13.000 They got essential?

00:28:14.000 Yeah.

00:28:14.000 Well, the essential workers, all the supermarket workers were being told, oh, you're essential, you're essential.

00:28:17.000 They got a little rude.

00:28:19.000 You think so?

00:28:19.000 Yeah, just the same way we called nurses heroes.

00:28:21.000 Don't do that.

00:28:22.000 Don't call anyone a hero.

00:28:24.000 They piss on you. 0.97

00:28:25.000 When you call someone a hero, it does something to their brain. 0.98

00:28:28.000 I've never found that with firefighters.

00:28:30.000 Well, sure, maybe.

00:28:32.000 But with nurses, we called them heroes and then they started TikToking with dead bodies.

00:28:36.000 Do you remember that?

00:28:37.000 I do remember that.

00:28:38.000 Yeah, you can't say you're a hero.

00:28:39.000 You have to say, hey, thank you.

00:28:42.000 You're doing your job. 0.98

00:28:43.000 Listen, this is hypocritical. 0.97

00:28:44.000 I don't mind a little gallows humor. 0.97

00:28:46.000 I don't mind nurses TikToking with dead bodies as long as they take care of my grandma. 1.00

00:28:49.000 But then don't cry on Facebook.

00:28:52.000 I don't mind gallows humor either.

00:28:53.000 You can't TikTok with a dead body and then go, It's so big!

00:28:57.000 You'll wear your mask!

00:28:58.000 We can't handle it!

00:28:59.000 Pick a lane!

00:29:00.000 Do they do that too?

00:29:00.000 Yeah!

00:29:01.000 Of course.

00:29:02.000 Pick a lane.

00:29:03.000 I don't remember anybody crying.

00:29:04.000 These nurses don't care about people. 1.00

00:29:06.000 Anyway.

00:29:06.000 Why are you saying they do care?

00:29:08.000 Some of them do, Joe, but I know a lot of nurses. 0.99

00:29:10.000 I know a lot of nurses. 1.00

00:29:12.000 She's a nice lady. 1.00

00:29:12.000 Say that to that lady who swabs your nose. 1.00

00:29:14.000 She's lovely, but I know a lot of nurses who are in it to steal Percocet from people. 1.00

00:29:19.000 I know a lot of heartless nurses. 1.00

00:29:20.000 We all know a lot of heartless nurses, and let's not pretend we don't. 1.00

00:29:25.000 That's a fact.

00:29:26.000 And then some of them are great.

00:29:27.000 But it's just like, listen, if you took what I was thinking about nurses and I was thinking about cops, everybody would, you know, the media would say, oh, that's a great take.

00:29:38.000 Well, they would have said it before.

00:29:41.000 But, you know, there's a lot of these defund the police states that are now ramping up their budget for police officers, like Minneapolis.

00:29:48.000 Right.

00:29:48.000 There's quite a few of these places.

00:29:49.000 Because it went to shit. 1.00

00:29:50.000 It didn't just go to shit. 1.00

00:29:51.000 It went to Mad Max lanes. 1.00

00:29:53.000 Right.

00:29:53.000 It went to some really bad areas.

00:29:55.000 Went to bad things.

00:29:56.000 It's dangerous.

00:29:57.000 It's fire.

00:29:57.000 I mean, you were talking about how bad New York City is when you were staying there last time.

00:30:00.000 Yeah, it was rough.

00:30:01.000 What was it like?

00:30:02.000 Me and my opener were walking back from...

00:30:04.000 He's got a name.

00:30:06.000 He's a good guy.

00:30:06.000 Yeah, Dan Carney, my opener.

00:30:07.000 He's a good guy.

00:30:08.000 He's a good guy.

00:30:09.000 Me and my slave.

00:30:10.000 My slave.

00:30:11.000 He was walking.

00:30:12.000 We were walking.

00:30:13.000 I make him carry all the camera equipment and everything.

00:30:15.000 Does he wear a mask?

00:30:17.000 No, he just carries all the camera equipment.

00:30:18.000 And then I walk five feet ahead of him like a cartoon king down the street, just observing.

00:30:25.000 And I said to him, I think we're going to get killed.

00:30:27.000 I turned around and looked at him.

00:30:28.000 I said, we might get killed because people on the street were looking at us like lunch.

00:30:31.000 We were in Times Square.

00:30:32.000 It was like, you know, maybe 1130 to 12 at night. 1.00

00:30:35.000 And people were looking at us like people were sitting in Times Square like, who are you motherfuckers? 0.99

00:30:38.000 Like, you know what I mean? 0.99

00:30:40.000 That's why you need Texas gun laws in New York City. 1.00

00:30:44.000 Well, and it was terrifying.

00:30:45.000 So, and people, you know, you're just looking around now and you have a weird feeling that I've never felt in New York.

00:30:53.000 As an adult, I felt that when I was a kid in the 90s, I would be like, oh yeah, it's a little sketchy. 0.85

00:30:57.000 But as an adult, it was like the first time I felt like shit could go down and it wouldn't be good. 0.89

00:31:02.000 And now you see all these videos of people being hit with bats or, you know, it's rough. 0.93

00:31:07.000 So, I mean, I just think that it has a, you know, when Giuliani was elected there, there was something that happened right before it.

00:31:16.000 And this was a thing that everyone knows about, a rockette.

00:31:19.000 Rockette was killed in Central Park.

00:31:21.000 It was a knife in her back.

00:31:22.000 And it was all over the cover of the papers.

00:31:24.000 And people said, and this was the early 90s, and there was about 28, 2900 homicides every year in New York City, which is almost like eight a day.

00:31:32.000 It got so bad that that image of the Rockette with a knife in her back in Central Park, people started to go, we need a new direction.

00:31:39.000 They elected Giuliani, who's since disgraced himself and become a goon. 0.93

00:31:43.000 I won't- Don't you think that he just got old and his brain broke? 0.92

00:31:46.000 Yes. 0.95

00:31:46.000 I think he should have gotten out of public life, but he did become a goon. 0.95

00:31:50.000 But they cleaned that city up.

00:31:52.000 It wasn't that livable for many, many people.

00:31:57.000 It became a lot more livable, a lot safer after Giuliani got in there.

00:32:02.000 And that's a fact.

00:32:04.000 People might not like that, but that's a fact.

00:32:06.000 That's numbers and data.

00:32:08.000 One thing that happened.

00:32:09.000 The other thing that happened was Times Square became a mall.

00:32:11.000 Times Square became a mall.

00:32:13.000 A lot of that started to happen under Giuliani, and then it crystallized after 9-11.

00:32:18.000 We need a balance.

00:32:19.000 We do need a balance.

00:32:20.000 Like, you gotta have a little grit, but you want it to be safe.

00:32:22.000 No, you need a little balance. 0.98

00:32:25.000 You want it to be a cool place, and you don't need, like, you know, every Broadway show a fucking Disney movie. 0.98

00:32:32.000 Right. 0.97

00:32:32.000 You don't need that. 0.97

00:32:33.000 You don't need, you know, Cobra Kai the musical or whatever hell is coming after this pandemic's over.

00:32:39.000 But imagine being de Blasio and thinking that that video was a good idea. 0.99

00:32:43.000 Well, he's nuts. 1.00

00:32:44.000 He's got to be nuts. 1.00

00:32:45.000 He's nuts. 1.00

00:32:46.000 How nuts? 1.00

00:32:46.000 He's a doofy idiot. 1.00

00:32:47.000 I mean, he's seven foot like five or something. 1.00

00:32:51.000 He's a big guy and he's just walking around.

00:32:54.000 He probably doesn't get blood to all his extremities.

00:32:57.000 And I mean, he's walking around and he's just completely devoid of any sense of like what is actually happening, you know?

00:33:06.000 And his daughter's at protests going crazy.

00:33:09.000 She's just throwing rocks, shooting cops. 1.00

00:33:11.000 She doesn't give a shit about anything. 1.00

00:33:13.000 Yeah, she doesn't care. 0.99

00:33:15.000 Isn't de Blasio not really his name?

00:33:17.000 I forget, but it's not his name.

00:33:19.000 No, I think it's like a Carlos Mencia type deal.

00:33:21.000 Yeah, it's not his name.

00:33:22.000 Like, he didn't like his father, so he changed his name.

00:33:25.000 Yeah, I mean, he was the insufferable kid in high school with the Che Guevara shirt.

00:33:29.000 I mean...

00:33:30.000 Here he is.

00:33:30.000 Jamie will find out.

00:33:31.000 His name is Warren Wilhelm Jr. Oh my god, so everything is fake.

00:33:36.000 Yeah, so Warren Wilhelm Jr. Everything's fake.

00:33:40.000 Yeah.

00:33:41.000 So that's not his name.

00:33:42.000 How did he get the name Bill de Blasio?

00:33:45.000 Bill de Blasio was born Warren Wilhelm Jr. How is that possible?

00:33:52.000 Is an American politician serving since 2014...

00:33:55.000 The 109th mayor of New York City, mayor of the Democratic Party, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:33:59.000 He was born in Manhattan, primary raised in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

00:34:02.000 Oh, well, you're doomed.

00:34:04.000 Yeah.

00:34:04.000 Cambridge is like, I love Cambridge because it's crazy.

00:34:08.000 Right.

00:34:09.000 But there's a lot of theybes in Cambridge. 0.98

00:34:11.000 No.

00:34:12.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:34:12.000 There are theybes.

00:34:13.000 I thought theybes was like one theybe.

00:34:16.000 No, there's many theybes.

00:34:17.000 I have a gentleman whose daughter is a theybe. 1.00

00:34:20.000 She insists on being a baby.

00:34:22.000 She insists?

00:34:23.000 How old is she? 0.98

00:34:23.000 I said she. 0.98

00:34:24.000 I'm misgendering.

00:34:25.000 They insist.

00:34:25.000 I should probably go to jail.

00:34:27.000 How old is they?

00:34:28.000 They is...

00:34:28.000 There's no need to discuss.

00:34:30.000 It's a kid.

00:34:31.000 It's under 18. But they refuse to be gendered. 0.98

00:34:36.000 But there's a trend.

00:34:39.000 Parents are raising their children and they're letting them pick their gender. 1.00

00:34:44.000 In Cambridge.

00:34:45.000 Yeah, they just one day will decide.

00:34:48.000 And so they grow up like, what am I? Who cares?

00:34:50.000 You're like, eat your food.

00:34:52.000 Right, yeah.

00:34:53.000 Eat your tofu.

00:34:54.000 He took his mother's last name when he was getting older instead of the father.

00:34:57.000 But what about the first name?

00:35:00.000 William.

00:35:00.000 Oh, well.

00:35:02.000 William Wilhelm.

00:35:03.000 Warren Wilhelm.

00:35:04.000 His name is Warren Wilhelm?

00:35:06.000 Warren is not Bill.

00:35:07.000 But he looks like a Warren Wilhelm.

00:35:09.000 He doesn't look like a Bill de Blasio.

00:35:10.000 He looks like a creepy Warren Wilhelm.

00:35:14.000 He would be like, oh, it's Warren again, and everyone would leave.

00:35:17.000 He just went from Warren to Bill.

00:35:19.000 I don't know.

00:35:19.000 Just decided to change everything.

00:35:21.000 Because it's like a name that you'd elect.

00:35:23.000 You'd go, I'm Bill.

00:35:24.000 I'm like you.

00:35:24.000 I'm Bill de Blasio.

00:35:26.000 I'm not Warren Wilhelm from Cambridge.

00:35:28.000 I'm Bill de Blasio from New York.

00:35:30.000 It's a lot.

00:35:31.000 Yeah.

00:35:32.000 It's a lot.

00:35:34.000 There's so much there.

00:35:37.000 You shouldn't be able to do that.

00:35:40.000 You should have to disclose it.

00:35:42.000 You should have to tell people.

00:35:44.000 It's on Wikipedia.

00:35:44.000 Well, of course.

00:35:45.000 Look at him.

00:35:46.000 He's handsome.

00:35:47.000 Look at him.

00:35:48.000 He's young. 1.00

00:35:48.000 He's doing that thing that comics do when they suck. 1.00

00:35:50.000 Look at him. 0.98

00:35:50.000 He has three different legal names. 0.98

00:35:53.000 Mayoral hopeful Bill de Blasio has had three different legal names court record show.

00:35:59.000 Okay, what was the other name?

00:36:00.000 Look at his...

00:36:01.000 Look right there.

00:36:02.000 He's doing that thing like, hey, I'm wacky.

00:36:04.000 His elbow is...

00:36:05.000 Is it leaning on that...

00:36:07.000 Radiator.

00:36:07.000 Radiator?

00:36:08.000 Yes.

00:36:08.000 Or is it not?

00:36:08.000 It seems like it's floating.

00:36:10.000 No, it's leaning.

00:36:11.000 I don't know if it is.

00:36:12.000 The radiator might have been hot, and they're taking...

00:36:14.000 Oh, okay, it's leaning.

00:36:15.000 What an odd photo.

00:36:17.000 It's terrible!

00:36:18.000 What did he do before he was mayor?

00:36:20.000 I don't know.

00:36:21.000 Okay, it's a Democratic candidate.

00:36:23.000 What's his other names?

00:36:25.000 Warren Wilhelm.

00:36:27.000 And then Warren de Blasio Wilhelm.

00:36:29.000 Oh, okay, so he hyphenated like he's married to another person.

00:36:32.000 He sounds like a count.

00:36:33.000 Warren de Blasio Wilhelm.

00:36:36.000 Gavin Newsom.

00:36:37.000 Gavin Newsom's like an effete wine merchant.

00:36:39.000 All of these guys are just out of it.

00:36:41.000 They're out of it.

00:36:42.000 They've reached the point where they can recall him.

00:36:45.000 Right.

00:36:45.000 Now they just have to gather out enough names because some of them are going to be invalid.

00:36:49.000 Some of the names they've gathered, apparently, they think they need an extra 500,000 names.

00:36:55.000 Just because some of the people aren't.

00:36:57.000 It's just that they're not legally registered to vote.

00:37:00.000 You have to be registered in California.

00:37:02.000 I mean, who knows who the people are.

00:37:04.000 So they think they need a buffer of about $500,000.

00:37:07.000 But here's the thing.

00:37:08.000 They asked me to sign it.

00:37:10.000 I'm like, I don't even have a license.

00:37:11.000 No, literally.

00:37:13.000 Well, I do now.

00:37:14.000 But at the time, I was like, I'm not registered to vote here.

00:37:16.000 I don't have a license.

00:37:17.000 I'm like, I'll sign it.

00:37:18.000 And if someone calls me and goes, did you sign that? 1.00

00:37:20.000 I'll go, yeah, fuck that guy. 1.00

00:37:22.000 But I don't have any paperwork. 1.00

00:37:24.000 You need paperwork.

00:37:25.000 I have it now.

00:37:26.000 That's the thing.

00:37:27.000 There's a bunch of people like you that are on that list, I'm sure.

00:37:29.000 Yeah.

00:37:30.000 Patriots.

00:37:30.000 The thing is, California is a heavy Democratic state.

00:37:35.000 The odds of a person who's a Republican winning are very slim.

00:37:40.000 And New York, too.

00:37:41.000 Yes, but it's different.

00:37:42.000 New York, there's a possibility.

00:37:44.000 There's some precedent.

00:37:45.000 Right.

00:37:45.000 But the only precedent in California, the most recent, is Arnold Schwarzenegger, who barely counts because he was a star.

00:37:52.000 And also, I don't know why they...

00:37:55.000 Why did they get rid of Gray Davis?

00:37:57.000 Because of the blackouts, the rolling blackouts to Enron, all that stuff. 0.98

00:38:01.000 They were fucking with the state. 0.88

00:38:02.000 And it was also, there was corruption involved. 0.99

00:38:05.000 There was corruption, yeah.

00:38:06.000 Where it wasn't necessary to actually black out.

00:38:09.000 They were doing it for political gain.

00:38:10.000 They were forcing it down to send the cost of energy up.

00:38:13.000 Yes.

00:38:13.000 Yeah.

00:38:14.000 That was a great, that Enron documentary, The Smartest Guys in the Room.

00:38:17.000 Great documentary.

00:38:18.000 It's a great documentary about that whole thing.

00:38:20.000 And then Bethany McLean, who wrote the article, How Does Enron Make Its Money?, is a great financial journalist.

00:38:26.000 Also, you know, she's in that documentary, and that's a really cool documentary.

00:38:30.000 It's great.

00:38:30.000 And yeah.

00:38:31.000 It's spooky.

00:38:31.000 That's spooky.

00:38:32.000 And you know what else is really spooky?

00:38:34.000 An Inside Job.

00:38:35.000 Yes.

00:38:36.000 An Inside Job, which shows it's about the financial crisis of 2008, and it shows how these people go from being professors who recommend certain regulations and requirements that are ultimately Terrible for the economy.

00:38:52.000 And then they get promoted as, like, once they leave as professors and they've, you know, whatever institution that they're at, then they get these giant jobs that pay millions of dollars.

00:39:06.000 It's like this weird little deal that they make.

00:39:08.000 It's like this revolving door between, a lot of times, between government, private industry, higher education.

00:39:15.000 It's like, yeah, it creates the oligarchy. 0.91

00:39:18.000 It creates that aristocracy.

00:39:19.000 But when the guy who, I don't remember who made that documentary, but he's obviously very well read in finance, and he understands how it all worked.

00:39:30.000 And he was questioning these people, and you see them falling apart in the documentary, realizing that they've been trapped, and realizing that somebody understands the gig.

00:39:39.000 Somebody understands.

00:39:40.000 Somebody knows what's up.

00:39:41.000 This is what the hustle is.

00:39:42.000 It's so illuminating because they get arrogant and angry at him.

00:39:47.000 Well, it's like anything where you participate in it because you think it's a fluff piece.

00:39:53.000 Yeah, and also you think that what you're doing is okay because it's what everyone does.

00:39:59.000 Right.

00:40:00.000 And then you're introduced to this other mode of thing.

00:40:03.000 Did you see the new article that came out that says they're allowing like tech companies to essentially form countries?

00:40:09.000 I mean this is like the craziest article that came out that people are sharing all over Twitter where they're like it's like a lot of them have the power of countries anyway.

00:40:18.000 Like you look at Amazon and Google and Facebook.

00:40:20.000 They have the money of a country, have a GDP of like a mid-sized country or I did see the title of that article,

00:40:38.000 but I didn't read it because I didn't want to get sick. 1.00

00:40:43.000 But I mean, you will eventually, they'll just have a Google stand where they just set up an island and they go, we're Google-a-stan and we pay what taxes we want and, you know, fuck you. 1.00

00:40:52.000 Why not? 1.00

00:40:52.000 As long as they can go with don't be evil. 1.00

00:40:54.000 Remember when they used to have that?

00:40:55.000 Yeah.

00:40:56.000 That was comforting.

00:40:57.000 Don't do evil.

00:40:58.000 Don't be evil.

00:40:59.000 By the way, as soon as someone wants to do evil, they Google how.

00:41:02.000 That's the first thing.

00:41:04.000 As soon as somebody wants to, how do I get away with murdering my wife on Google?

00:41:09.000 Yeah, see, if you want to do that, use DuckDuckGo.

00:41:11.000 It's way better, and they don't save your history.

00:41:14.000 What is DuckDuckGo?

00:41:15.000 A better search engine?

00:41:16.000 That's what I use.

00:41:17.000 Interesting.

00:41:17.000 Yeah, if I want to look up anything sketchy.

00:41:20.000 So here's the thing about DuckDuckGo, too.

00:41:22.000 It'll show you things that Google will hide from you.

00:41:24.000 Wow.

00:41:25.000 There was a doctor who died immediately after taking the vaccine.

00:41:29.000 He was in his 50s, took the vaccine, had an adverse reaction, which, listen, it happens.

00:41:35.000 It is a part of medicine.

00:41:36.000 It doesn't mean the vaccine's evil.

00:41:38.000 It doesn't mean Bill Gates is trying to kill everyone.

00:41:40.000 But if you do...

00:41:42.000 Search that on Google.

00:41:43.000 It's really difficult to find.

00:41:45.000 To find, yeah.

00:41:45.000 So I put in, doctor, in his 50s, dies, vaccine, could not find it for the life of me.

00:41:52.000 I used the exact same sentence, put in, duck, duck, go.

00:41:55.000 It was on the first page.

00:41:56.000 Yeah, you can get it.

00:41:56.000 It was right away.

00:41:57.000 Interesting.

00:41:57.000 Because they're not curating your search results.

00:41:59.000 Well, they also hid that black West Indian doctor, that African doctor, God's Battle Axe and Weapon of War. 0.97

00:42:05.000 They got rid of her. 0.69

00:42:07.000 What's that one?

00:42:08.000 God's Battle Axe and Weapon of War.

00:42:10.000 Is that what she calls herself? 0.96

00:42:10.000 Yeah, on her Twitter profile and they got rid of her. 0.96

00:42:12.000 And I was like, I wanted to listen to her.

00:42:14.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:42:15.000 Really?

00:42:15.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:42:16.000 She calls herself God's Battle Axe and Weapon of War? 0.91

00:42:18.000 Oh yeah, on her Twitter.

00:42:19.000 And they got rid of her on Google.

00:42:20.000 You couldn't find her.

00:42:21.000 Wasn't she in a strip mall? 0.99

00:42:23.000 She had like a little office in a strip mall? 1.00

00:42:24.000 Yeah, she had like a witch doctor thing in a strip mall with like those beads that you probably walked through. 1.00

00:42:30.000 It looked like a scene from Gremlins.

00:42:31.000 Those beads in the 80s, we used to go to a porn section of a video store.

00:42:35.000 Oh, yeah. 0.95

00:42:36.000 She probably had a shag carpet. 1.00

00:42:37.000 She's probably sitting there smoking a butt. 1.00

00:42:40.000 I'll tell you the realities of this thing. 0.66

00:42:42.000 Well, the thing is that she was talking about hydroxychloroquine, right?

00:42:45.000 She said it was like the drug, and she would just take it when she grew up on Sundays.

00:42:50.000 That's what she said.

00:42:51.000 I don't think that's what she said.

00:42:52.000 No, she was on the Candace Owens show. 0.64

00:42:55.000 God's Battle Axe and Weapon of War.

00:42:57.000 Yes, this woman is who I follow.

00:42:59.000 But here's the thing about that hydroxychloroquine. 0.98

00:43:01.000 The fucking problem with Donald Trump is anything that was effective or anything that was true that was associated with Donald Trump was immediately rejected. 0.98

00:43:10.000 Whether it was the idea that... 0.99

00:43:12.000 We were talking before the podcast that I had on an evolutionary bio...

00:43:17.000 I had on Brett Weinstein.

00:43:18.000 Brett Weinstein was one of the first people that was talking about it is most likely that this virus...

00:43:26.000 Emanated from a lab, and it's not a big stretch.

00:43:28.000 And he had a good argument.

00:43:29.000 When you watched his argument, it was a solid argument.

00:43:31.000 He's a scientist.

00:43:32.000 He's a legitimate scientist.

00:43:34.000 He's a brilliant person.

00:43:35.000 And he was saying that if you look at all of the various aspects of this virus, when you look at it, it's much more likely, especially with the fact that there's a Level 4 lab in Wuhan right there. 0.56

00:43:48.000 This is not like some crazy stretch.

00:43:50.000 Yeah, it's crazy that...

00:43:51.000 I don't understand why people think it's crazy and what their investment is.

00:43:55.000 It's Trump.

00:43:56.000 It's Trump.

00:43:56.000 It's all political, yeah.

00:43:57.000 It's 100% Trump.

00:43:57.000 It's all about Trump.

00:43:58.000 Because I'm like, if...

00:44:00.000 Who...

00:44:00.000 Like, why are we treating it with such hostility?

00:44:02.000 Why are we treating that possibility with such hostility?

00:44:05.000 And the only thing is, yeah, that Trump came out and said it.

00:44:07.000 Well, the problem is politics in this country are essentially...

00:44:11.000 They've reached this boiling point where the idea of...

00:44:19.000 Promoting a civil war is not outside of the realm of possibility.

00:44:22.000 It's in the space.

00:44:24.000 Right. 1.00

00:44:25.000 What they're doing is anyone on that side is either a fucking snowflake or a communist or a fool. 1.00

00:44:34.000 And everyone on this space is a Nazi and a right-wing fascist and a terrible person. 1.00

00:44:42.000 And there's no gray area. 0.99

00:44:44.000 And you're seeing this with this storm that we're having here.

00:44:47.000 Yeah, people are...

00:44:49.000 I do think that people don't have the energy anymore because I've been seeing it on Twitter and I think we're a few weeks or months away from who cares.

00:44:59.000 I think Biden and Kamala, I think they're very boring.

00:45:03.000 I think no one's going to care.

00:45:04.000 I think the far right and the far left, they both lost, right?

00:45:08.000 Like the people that are hardcore Trump people lost.

00:45:10.000 The people that are hardcore on the far left don't like Biden.

00:45:12.000 I just don't think that everyone's going to live in this 24-hour political world forever.

00:45:17.000 It's exhausting.

00:45:18.000 I think it's over.

00:45:19.000 I think comedy is going to go back to being goofy and silly, and people that made living strictly talking about Trump or strictly talking about politics are going to have a tough time of it.

00:45:29.000 I think after the Iraq War, that's when that alternative comedy scene started, where people started walking around with top hats.

00:45:36.000 Because after the Iraq War and the mortgage crisis, nobody wanted to hear about anything serious.

00:45:40.000 So I think if we put a few months...

00:45:44.000 A few months down the road, no one's going to want to hear about COVID or Donald Trump.

00:45:48.000 I think people are just ready for the next thing. 0.91

00:45:50.000 So I'm hoping that this all kind of becomes more boring and silly and goofy and fun and more human.

00:45:59.000 Well, I hope people come to their senses and realize that we have more in common than we have indifference.

00:46:04.000 And that's the reality of being a person. 0.94

00:46:06.000 My neighbor is a crazy Biden supporter. 0.85

00:46:10.000 Super nice person.

00:46:12.000 I like them.

00:46:14.000 I don't think that there's a...

00:46:18.000 If you look at what people want, what do they want?

00:46:21.000 In times of crisis, it was a fairly short-lived crisis in Austin.

00:46:28.000 Today's 40-something degrees, and the roads are clear, and you can drive around, and most people's water is coming back on.

00:46:34.000 Most people have power.

00:46:36.000 But in times of crisis, you realize that...

00:46:40.000 What is important?

00:46:42.000 And this is dark, right?

00:46:43.000 Staying alive.

00:46:44.000 That's it.

00:46:45.000 Feeding your family.

00:46:46.000 Right.

00:46:46.000 And taking care of your loved ones.

00:46:47.000 Yes.

00:46:48.000 Hey, do you guys need food?

00:46:49.000 We have food.

00:46:49.000 Yeah.

00:46:50.000 Do you guys need wood?

00:46:51.000 We have wood.

00:46:52.000 You have a fireplace?

00:46:52.000 I would add to that your social media brand.

00:46:55.000 You have to always safeguard that as well.

00:47:00.000 I'm so glad you got me out of there.

00:47:01.000 I was reported.

00:47:02.000 I was reported for cutting a line at a Whataburger.

00:47:06.000 I've lived here for a week.

00:47:07.000 Well, that's a criminal offense.

00:47:09.000 Here's the reality.

00:47:10.000 This is Texas.

00:47:11.000 I was...

00:47:11.000 A Whataburger was the only thing open.

00:47:13.000 Why did you cut the line?

00:47:14.000 I didn't.

00:47:15.000 And why'd you cut the line with California plates? 1.00

00:47:17.000 In a fucking Range Rover. 1.00

00:47:18.000 There's this new game they're playing. 1.00

00:47:20.000 You were in a Range Rover?

00:47:21.000 I was in a Range Rover with California plates.

00:47:23.000 Everything wrong.

00:47:24.000 I know. 1.00

00:47:24.000 And I had that stupid bape hoodie on, that dumb, that hypebeast hoodie. 1.00

00:47:29.000 But I turned, and there's some dude in an F1. Because here's the deal. 1.00

00:47:32.000 There were two lines converging on the Whataburger.

00:47:35.000 I was in one line, but there was the other line had like three or four cars.

00:47:38.000 I didn't know that it was one and one.

00:47:40.000 I didn't know that it was one car and then one car.

00:47:41.000 I didn't know that.

00:47:42.000 I don't know what you're saying.

00:47:44.000 Well, meaning when you have one line's coming in this way, and I'm coming in that way.

00:47:48.000 We're supposed to let one car from my line, and then one car from the other line.

00:47:53.000 What did you do?

00:47:55.000 After my guy went, I went as well, because I didn't know that that was a legitimate line, because my line was much longer.

00:48:02.000 And there was no reason that people couldn't just be on my line.

00:48:04.000 They had started another shorter line and were weaving into...

00:48:08.000 Are you justifying cutting the line?

00:48:10.000 I'm saying, this is again, he didn't support me with the Airbnb, so I'm confused.

00:48:14.000 I'm confused.

00:48:15.000 Oh, there you are.

00:48:16.000 Is this your car?

00:48:17.000 If so, what's this guy's name?

00:48:19.000 Put his name up there.

00:48:21.000 No, it's neighbors uncensored. 0.98

00:48:23.000 What kind of rats are we dealing with? 0.95

00:48:25.000 Well, let's find out. 0.98

00:48:26.000 First of all, the kind of rats that put a space after so and then a comma. 0.82

00:48:31.000 And then double question marks. 0.86

00:48:33.000 Is this your car?

00:48:33.000 If so, I hope cutting the line at Whataburger made you feel like a man.

00:48:38.000 Did it?

00:48:40.000 I felt good.

00:48:41.000 Okay. 1.00

00:48:42.000 And that you and your idiot co-pilot, Dan, got a good snicker out of it like D-bags, like you tend to do. 1.00

00:48:52.000 Oh, D-bags like you tend to do. 1.00

00:48:53.000 Please remove your sorry ass back to California, or at least out of our community, you sorry POS. Wow. 1.00

00:49:01.000 First of all, can we stop with the Facebook ratting?

00:49:04.000 This is unacceptable.

00:49:06.000 Well, what's more unacceptable?

00:49:08.000 You cutting the line or them calling you out?

00:49:11.000 Let's be real.

00:49:11.000 Well, it's supposed to be a tough state.

00:49:13.000 Come and shoot me. 1.00

00:49:13.000 Don't rat me out on fucking Facebook. 1.00

00:49:17.000 Ratting's never appropriate. 0.99

00:49:18.000 So you really, genuinely, really, if you were on ecstasy right now, would you admit that maybe you kind of thought something was wrong?

00:49:25.000 I didn't know that I did the wrong thing until after I'd done it.

00:49:28.000 Oh, but you already did it.

00:49:29.000 I had already done it, so I didn't know how this worked.

00:49:32.000 What you could have done is pay for the guy behind you. 1.00

00:49:34.000 You say, fuck, I messed up. 1.00

00:49:36.000 Get out of your car. 1.00

00:49:37.000 You go, hey, buddy.

00:49:38.000 Would you order? 0.98

00:49:39.000 I'm sorry, I fucked up. 1.00

00:49:40.000 I'll sponsor the Facebook ad where he shits on me. 0.99

00:49:42.000 How about that? 0.96

00:49:43.000 I'll pay for him to boost his post.

00:49:45.000 I didn't know who it was. 0.99

00:49:46.000 I didn't know who it was, but if he wants me to boost his post where he calls me a piece of shit, I'll pay for that. 0.93

00:49:51.000 What if we get that guy, figure out who it is, and get him some tickets to one of your shows? 0.97

00:49:55.000 I'll do that.

00:49:56.000 I'll absolutely do that.

00:49:57.000 We need to make this right.

00:49:58.000 If he finds me or whatever, I'll absolutely do it.

00:50:01.000 But it's like, I've had a real bad string of people.

00:50:05.000 I was thrown off Airbnb.

00:50:06.000 This is a fact.

00:50:07.000 You did not support me on this.

00:50:09.000 I did.

00:50:09.000 You did not.

00:50:10.000 You said, he should have done the dishes.

00:50:13.000 This was your quote.

00:50:14.000 Yeah, he should have done the dishes.

00:50:14.000 Joe.

00:50:15.000 But you shouldn't have been thrown off of Airbnb.

00:50:17.000 Okay.

00:50:17.000 But you shouldn't leave dirty dishes.

00:50:19.000 Joe, we pay a $450 cleaning fee.

00:50:23.000 Oh.

00:50:24.000 Airbnb, they do this scam now.

00:50:26.000 They call it COVID cleaning, which is fake because regular cleaning and COVID cleaning are the same thing.

00:50:31.000 Cleaning is cleaning.

00:50:32.000 You're not going in there with hazmat suits.

00:50:34.000 Why'd you leave the plates?

00:50:35.000 What do you mean?

00:50:37.000 What?

00:50:37.000 Why didn't you just clean the plates?

00:50:39.000 Because this is a vacation.

00:50:41.000 Are you supposed to clean the plates?

00:50:42.000 I don't know what the rules are, but I don't like the service if that's the case.

00:50:47.000 I want...

00:50:48.000 You feel like you should be able to leave dinner place.

00:50:49.000 If I pay $450 for a cleaning fee, you should...

00:50:53.000 And the thing is, there were two lesbian women, and I mentioned that, and that's why I was kicked off Airbnb, because they thought... 1.00

00:51:00.000 Because you mentioned their sexual orientation.

00:51:01.000 I mentioned they were a lesbian, and they had a horribly designed house, and they should have maybe asked a gay guy or someone to fix it, but... 1.00

00:51:08.000 Well, as a gay guy, what have you done? 0.85

00:51:09.000 What would you have done, rather, to fix it?

00:51:12.000 Well, all the furniture, you couldn't sit in.

00:51:15.000 It was like art pieces.

00:51:16.000 All of the furniture was like a little...

00:51:19.000 You couldn't sit in or Tony Hinchcliffe couldn't sit in?

00:51:22.000 Tony Hinchcliffe is a bird.

00:51:24.000 He can perch on things.

00:51:26.000 I'm a human.

00:51:28.000 I'm an American human. 1.00

00:51:30.000 We can't sit on a fucking leather cowhide chair. 1.00

00:51:35.000 It's an art piece. 1.00

00:51:36.000 What's wrong with the piece?

00:51:37.000 It was a chair of sticks with leather cowhide.

00:51:41.000 There were these weird stools.

00:51:42.000 Did you take pictures of these things?

00:51:43.000 I took all the photos.

00:51:44.000 I put them on my Instagram.

00:51:45.000 Let's see these.

00:51:46.000 These are not for human beings. 0.99

00:51:48.000 These are for lesbians to drink tea and perch and whatever. 1.00

00:51:52.000 Why lesbians? 1.00

00:51:53.000 Why do you care about their sexual orientation? 1.00

00:51:55.000 Because they're insufferable. 0.99

00:51:57.000 They were insufferable.

00:51:58.000 They wore little hats and had a dog.

00:52:00.000 Little hats?

00:52:01.000 They had little weird hats and they had a dog.

00:52:03.000 Do you like big hats?

00:52:05.000 You don't like dogs?

00:52:07.000 They had like a weird Weimaraner.

00:52:10.000 I just knew who they were.

00:52:11.000 I knew who they were.

00:52:12.000 I could see the photo and I knew who they were. 1.00

00:52:14.000 And they probably saw my photo and went, I hate that fat conservative fuck or whatever, even though I'm really in the middle politically and even weight-wise. 0.99

00:52:22.000 But in this state... 0.99

00:52:24.000 But they got mad at me, and they got me off Airbnb because I discussed this on my podcast in a colorful manner.

00:52:32.000 And I quote-unquote threatened to burn their house down.

00:52:35.000 As a joke, I'm not burning your house down.

00:52:37.000 It's a bit – I'm not going to burn your house down.

00:52:39.000 But I said, like, watch your back.

00:52:40.000 Who knows what happens?

00:52:41.000 Yeah.

00:52:42.000 It's a joke, but these women don't get jokes, and it's not my fault, but to give me a horrible review... 1.00

00:52:50.000 How did they find out that you talked about them online on your show?

00:52:54.000 It's a decent-sized show.

00:52:56.000 So I think, yeah, yeah.

00:52:58.000 Okay, you guys win, but it's big enough where if we say something on it, it got back to them.

00:53:04.000 One of their minions told them.

00:53:08.000 First of all, they asked me to give them a good review, which you're not allowed to do in the Airbnb process.

00:53:12.000 Right before I wrote the review, I've never given anyone a bad review on Airbnb.

00:53:16.000 I don't do it.

00:53:16.000 I'm not a rat.

00:53:17.000 They texted me and said, hey, our cleaning lady came, had a stroke, LOL, but just give us a good review. 0.90

00:53:22.000 She said LOL? Yeah, I was like, I don't know why she had a stroke, because it's literally dishes.

00:53:26.000 Has your cleaning lady not encountered dishes before?

00:53:29.000 If they took black light and scanned the walls, they wouldn't be surprised?

00:53:33.000 There's nothing.

00:53:33.000 I even left them a tartar sauce and said, use it.

00:53:36.000 Because we didn't use it.

00:53:38.000 So, yeah, but Dick, I mean, look at that.

00:53:42.000 I like it.

00:53:42.000 Oh, of course.

00:53:45.000 Of course you do.

00:53:46.000 It's minimalist.

00:53:48.000 These people want to just do ayahuasca.

00:53:49.000 Is that a fireplace?

00:53:51.000 Yeah, which you can't use because they're not insured for it.

00:53:53.000 What is that square hole?

00:53:54.000 It was a fireplace that you can't use.

00:53:56.000 It's weird, dude.

00:53:58.000 It's a fireplace that's like chest level.

00:53:59.000 It's a cold environment.

00:54:02.000 Isn't that weird?

00:54:03.000 I mean, aren't fireplaces supposed to be on the ground floor?

00:54:05.000 The whole house is crazy.

00:54:07.000 That's really a fireplace?

00:54:08.000 I mean, they're culturally appropriating Native America.

00:54:10.000 It's just the whole thing makes me sick.

00:54:12.000 Maybe they're Native American. 0.92

00:54:12.000 You don't know. 0.92

00:54:12.000 They are not. 0.92

00:54:14.000 How do you know?

00:54:15.000 Because I've seen them.

00:54:16.000 But what about Elizabeth Warren?

00:54:17.000 That's a good point.

00:54:20.000 That fireplace is in a weird place.

00:54:22.000 It's weird.

00:54:22.000 The whole house is weird.

00:54:23.000 It's a pizza oven.

00:54:25.000 And I just left.

00:54:26.000 There was a few dishes in the sink.

00:54:27.000 Show me that picture again.

00:54:28.000 And the review of me was like, this guy was a horrible guest.

00:54:31.000 They said I broke a cactus, which is literally impossible.

00:54:34.000 You can break cactuses.

00:54:35.000 How?

00:54:36.000 By crunching the spikes with my hands?

00:54:38.000 You fall on them when you're on ecstasy.

00:54:39.000 Yeah, I mean, these...

00:54:41.000 I don't understand what I'm looking at.

00:54:42.000 Correct.

00:54:43.000 So there's like a log...

00:54:44.000 1,000 a night, 1,200 a night.

00:54:45.000 I'd like it.

00:54:46.000 I got it for half.

00:54:47.000 I'd stay there.

00:54:47.000 Oh, no.

00:54:48.000 I really would.

00:54:49.000 It's absolutely repulsive.

00:54:51.000 I would sit in those chairs and be really comfortable. 0.99

00:54:53.000 Joshua Tree is a litter box for drug addicts.

00:54:56.000 No, it's for people who like to do mushrooms and find themselves. 0.55

00:54:58.000 Oh, enough.

00:54:59.000 Grow up and get a real drug problem.

00:55:02.000 Take a Percocet at your office, okay?

00:55:05.000 Not everything has to be a journey to hyperspace.

00:55:07.000 Not everything, but some things.

00:55:09.000 Sure.

00:55:09.000 I just am a fan of pillheads and cokeheads.

00:55:12.000 I like people that are productive.

00:55:13.000 But you're in Joshua Tree.

00:55:14.000 That's the place where psychedelic people go.

00:55:16.000 Oh! 0.60

00:55:16.000 I used to do acid and go to a bar like a person. 0.60

00:55:20.000 I would be a subprime mortgage guy.

00:55:25.000 I would do acid and I would cross over. 1.00

00:55:27.000 If I did DMT, I would go and when you meet the aliens and they give you all the information about how the world is, I would have tried to sell them condos.

00:55:35.000 I would have brought them into my world.

00:55:37.000 I like it.

00:55:39.000 Relaxation happens here.

00:55:40.000 I bet it does.

00:55:40.000 Yeah, washing dishes.

00:55:41.000 That sounds relaxing.

00:55:42.000 I don't like the bars on the chair.

00:55:44.000 Oh, the thing is horrible.

00:55:46.000 Like sitting on that.

00:55:48.000 I wouldn't know where to put my hands.

00:55:50.000 I'd probably put them below those metal bars. 0.79

00:55:53.000 This is really...

00:55:54.000 Look at that lady. 1.00

00:55:55.000 I like how she's sitting. 1.00

00:55:56.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:55:56.000 Wait, go back to that. 1.00

00:55:57.000 The pool was cold.

00:55:58.000 Can you go back to that picture?

00:55:59.000 That lady's hot. 1.00

00:56:00.000 I like that.

00:56:02.000 Well, they're fatphobic.

00:56:03.000 She's naked.

00:56:04.000 Yeah, this is what they're trying to do here.

00:56:06.000 They're upset that human beings rented their apartment. 0.69

00:56:10.000 It's hard to tell because it's in black and white, but she's hot. 1.00

00:56:13.000 I like how she's just reading.

00:56:14.000 She's like, even though I'm hot, I just want to educate myself.

00:56:17.000 And there's another lady who wants to be hot. 1.00

00:56:18.000 Look at the guy! 0.90

00:56:19.000 Look at his six-pack.

00:56:21.000 He hasn't eaten in months.

00:56:22.000 That's realistic.

00:56:23.000 That guy's shredded, and he's hanging out with a super hot girlfriend.

00:56:26.000 There's a few dishes in that sink.

00:56:28.000 Tim Dillon, I want to buy this house.

00:56:29.000 This is a great place.

00:56:30.000 Can you stop?

00:56:31.000 I like it.

00:56:32.000 Yeah, that...

00:56:33.000 Ooh, it's a hi-fi.

00:56:34.000 Yeah.

00:56:35.000 That's a hi-fi.

00:56:35.000 Oh, is it?

00:56:36.000 Yeah.

00:56:36.000 It's a high-fidelity sound system.

00:56:38.000 It was not conducive to having fun at all. 1.00

00:56:40.000 Dude, when Manson was running around killing people, that was the shit. 0.99

00:56:43.000 I didn't say anything bad about it. 1.00

00:56:45.000 Look at that view.

00:56:45.000 You can see the cactus and the coyotes.

00:56:47.000 Oh, isn't that good? 0.97

00:56:48.000 I fucking love it. 0.98

00:56:49.000 You loved it so much you moved states. 0.99

00:56:51.000 Listen, I could get a house there.

00:56:53.000 I mean, come on.

00:56:54.000 We're starting to get crazy.

00:56:56.000 Tim, you're talking to the wrong guy.

00:56:57.000 I love this house.

00:56:58.000 I know.

00:56:58.000 I love the chairs.

00:57:00.000 Well, listen.

00:57:01.000 Look at that chair.

00:57:02.000 I don't believe in Baxter chairs because I have good posture.

00:57:06.000 Look at how I sit.

00:57:08.000 I left four dishes and these people treated me. 0.99

00:57:12.000 Why the fuck didn't you just clean those four dishes? 0.99

00:57:14.000 Because I'm paying a massive cleaning fee. 0.99

00:57:17.000 Save that money.

00:57:18.000 No, no, no, no.

00:57:19.000 You have to pay it.

00:57:20.000 You're forced to.

00:57:21.000 Is that the cactus you broke?

00:57:22.000 No, that's the cactus.

00:57:23.000 It was broke when I walked in.

00:57:25.000 Was it broke? 1.00

00:57:25.000 It was because somebody was probably, I don't know, shoving in their pussy. 1.00

00:57:28.000 It was broke when I walked in. 1.00

00:57:29.000 The most epic hallway you've ever seen.

00:57:31.000 Yeah, is that the most epic hallway you've ever seen?

00:57:34.000 I've been to some nice houses.

00:57:35.000 That's not true.

00:57:36.000 I like that espresso machine, though.

00:57:39.000 I like a lot of this house.

00:57:40.000 I like this house.

00:57:42.000 It's all fine.

00:57:43.000 I do.

00:57:43.000 I like this house a lot.

00:57:43.000 It's all fine.

00:57:44.000 The women were out of control. 1.00

00:57:46.000 And again, if you look at my review, I said nice things. 0.90

00:57:49.000 I think I need to be your liaison to lesbians. 0.99

00:57:52.000 I've always said nice things.

00:57:54.000 And they just said to me, like I was a horrible guest.

00:57:56.000 If you look at their review of me, they said I was a horrible guest.

00:57:58.000 Why were you horrible?

00:57:59.000 Well, they said I left the house in disarray and I broke the cactus and whatever.

00:58:02.000 And nobody broke anything.

00:58:03.000 You know what you should do?

00:58:04.000 Well, you can't do it anymore because you're not in Airbnb anymore.

00:58:07.000 But you should just make a video of you leaving the house. 0.99

00:58:10.000 And then no one can say shit. 0.98

00:58:11.000 Well, I'd like to get back on Airbnb because I spent money on there. 0.99

00:58:15.000 And that's where I would go and use to travel and not do hotels.

00:58:18.000 I would do Airbnb.

00:58:19.000 It's a good move.

00:58:20.000 When you have an opener and you have people, you come up with people.

00:58:22.000 You have a whole podcast producer.

00:58:24.000 Yeah, it's much better.

00:58:25.000 Nice food.

00:58:25.000 So I'd like to go back on Airbnb, but we'll see what happens.

00:58:28.000 That's okay.

00:58:28.000 Is there an avenue for reconciliation?

00:58:31.000 I don't believe so.

00:58:33.000 These ladies, whoever you are ladies, Tim's a good guy and I'm your fan.

00:58:36.000 I'm a fan of you.

00:58:37.000 I like what you did with that place.

00:58:39.000 I like it.

00:58:40.000 I like the chairs with no backs to them.

00:58:42.000 I like it.

00:58:43.000 I like the weird chairs.

00:58:44.000 Yes.

00:58:44.000 I like your view.

00:58:45.000 I like your house.

00:58:48.000 Look at that. 1.00

00:58:48.000 You can sit out there by the pool and watch that guy with the ripped abs and his girlfriend fuck. 1.00

00:58:52.000 I mean, this is like a FEMA tent. 0.99

00:58:56.000 No, it's not.

00:58:57.000 This is like a FEMA property. 0.95

00:58:57.000 That's not. 0.95

00:58:58.000 It's not.

00:58:59.000 Would you get tarantulas and lizards?

00:59:01.000 Scorpions.

00:59:02.000 The whole thing's nuts.

00:59:03.000 It's a nice little pool.

00:59:04.000 It's a beautiful view.

00:59:05.000 Look, those people are enjoying it.

00:59:06.000 Why can't you enjoy it?

00:59:08.000 They're not real.

00:59:09.000 Those people don't exist.

00:59:10.000 The hot guy and his hot girlfriend, they're real.

00:59:12.000 They're not real.

00:59:12.000 They don't exist.

00:59:13.000 They work out at the Onnit gym.

00:59:14.000 They're right down the street.

00:59:15.000 They hired these people.

00:59:16.000 These are not Americans. 0.99

00:59:17.000 They're a mile away from us.

00:59:17.000 We can visit them right now.

00:59:19.000 You're a Hollywood elitist.

00:59:20.000 I speak for Americans.

00:59:21.000 But I live here.

00:59:22.000 I know, but that doesn't matter.

00:59:23.000 I speak for Americans who make hot dogs and sometimes leave the plates of the thing because we're paying a $450 cleaning fee.

00:59:29.000 And I just think that you should be able to come in and clean it.

00:59:34.000 You know what I mean?

00:59:35.000 You love the house so much, you clean it, ladies. 0.96

00:59:39.000 So anyway, I'd like to get back on there, but I won't be allowed, and that's okay, too.

00:59:43.000 Maybe they will let you back on.

00:59:45.000 I would imagine not.

00:59:46.000 I violated some safety protocol.

00:59:48.000 I don't know.

00:59:49.000 Which protocols?

00:59:50.000 The safety one.

00:59:51.000 Which one is the safety?

00:59:52.000 The one where you can't threaten to burn down people's homes, I think.

00:59:56.000 I spoke to my lawyer.

00:59:57.000 He said to just leave it alone.

01:00:00.000 My lawyer was like, just leave it alone.

01:00:02.000 He goes, I don't know what you're doing. 0.99

01:00:03.000 I'm like, I'm in a high-octane war with a few desert lesbians. 1.00

01:00:07.000 There's two desert dykes that are gunning for me, and I'm going to fucking keep... 1.00

01:00:11.000 I'm going to ride this until the wheels go off. 0.98

01:00:14.000 And my lawyer's like, hey, man, what are you doing?

01:00:17.000 What am I doing? 0.99

01:00:18.000 I'm boosting up my fucking podcast. 0.99

01:00:21.000 I'm trying to fight the good fight. 0.99

01:00:22.000 How do you think I get paid?

01:00:23.000 That's what you should tell him.

01:00:23.000 How do you think I get paid?

01:00:25.000 That's a good point.

01:00:25.000 I didn't involve Alex Jones.

01:00:27.000 Could have.

01:00:28.000 Chose not to.

01:00:28.000 Don't do that.

01:00:29.000 I'm kidding.

01:00:30.000 That's a nuclear option.

01:00:31.000 That's a nuclear option.

01:00:32.000 Yeah, don't.

01:00:33.000 Because he'll find some reason why it's connected to...

01:00:35.000 He'll say the Airbnb didn't exist, but we'll figure it out.

01:00:38.000 He'll find some reason why it's connected to the globalists or Satanists or something.

01:00:44.000 I gotta see him.

01:00:45.000 I just got down here.

01:00:46.000 I haven't seen him.

01:00:47.000 I want to go have dinner with him.

01:00:48.000 I'm very happy that people changed their opinion about him.

01:00:51.000 Slowly but surely.

01:00:52.000 They're understanding why I've been friends with this guy for 20 years. 0.97

01:00:55.000 He's a fucking hugely entertaining person. 0.75

01:00:57.000 He's definitely made some mistakes, but I love that guy. 0.97

01:01:00.000 Jamie and I had dinner with him and Lex Friedman the other day.

01:01:02.000 How fun was that?

01:01:04.000 That was great.

01:01:05.000 I had a private podcast that no one else gets to...

01:01:07.000 We got a private room at Three Forks, which is a great steak place here.

01:01:11.000 I know, I've been there. 0.99

01:01:12.000 Fucking phenomenal steak place. 0.99

01:01:13.000 We sat down. 1.00

01:01:14.000 We had so much fun.

01:01:15.000 We had so much fun.

01:01:16.000 Yeah.

01:01:17.000 People get so mad that I'm friends with that guy, that I hang out with him.

01:01:21.000 Yeah, people get really angry.

01:01:22.000 I enjoy him.

01:01:23.000 He's a very interesting character.

01:01:24.000 If you look at the history of the type of stuff like alternative media or radio or whatever, you are forced to confront him at some point in that history, right?

01:01:36.000 Because he's this seminal figure in that movement and he's pissed off everyone that's ever existed and everyone has at one time hated him.

01:01:45.000 Republicans, Democrats, everybody.

01:01:47.000 Well, initially, he was the guy that went after Republicans.

01:01:50.000 Yeah.

01:01:51.000 He became prominent because he was going after George W. Right.

01:01:56.000 When George W. was running for president.

01:01:58.000 Right.

01:01:59.000 And he was kind of protesting at some of his press conferences and stuff.

01:02:04.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:02:04.000 People think he's this right-wing lunatic because he supported Trump. 0.95

01:02:08.000 I don't think that's who he is. 0.91

01:02:09.000 Bush has hated him.

01:02:11.000 He was one of the guys saying 9-11 has weird stuff going on early on.

01:02:16.000 He was also one of the first people that legitimately educated people on the concept of agent provocateurs.

01:02:21.000 I did not know that that was a thing.

01:02:24.000 I did not know that when there was an inconvenient, peaceful protest, and people need to understand that this is real.

01:02:30.000 Google agent provocateurs.

01:02:32.000 When there is a peaceful protest and it's inconvenient and the powers that be do not want it to be there, what they do is they send in people wearing masks and dressing up in all black or in some sort of nondescript way.

01:02:53.000 Right.

01:03:15.000 Well, he was always on the outside of politics.

01:03:17.000 And then when he got in with Trump, he was kind of entering politics.

01:03:20.000 And then when he entered, then it became a real issue.

01:03:22.000 Because then people were like, oh, this guy's got sway and power. 0.98

01:03:25.000 And that's when they started going after him from all the shit that he's said before. 0.98

01:03:28.000 Look, the guy does like five hours of radio and talking every day. 0.99

01:03:32.000 And a lot of times he's hammered. 0.99

01:03:34.000 And he's saying crazy shit, and you know how that goes. 0.99

01:03:37.000 Well, it's like Rush Limbaugh just died, and a lot of people obviously have strong opinions about Rush Limbaugh. 0.99

01:03:41.000 I remember I used to listen to Rush Limbaugh growing up, and Rush Limbaugh to me was always this funny, cartoonish figure who was a little wild.

01:03:50.000 You knew what he believed, and you knew what he purported to believe.

01:03:53.000 And whether you agreed with him or not, he was this guy on the radio in the middle of the day for three hours a day for years.

01:04:02.000 And he rarely had guests.

01:04:03.000 He rarely took calls.

01:04:05.000 He just went.

01:04:06.000 He just went from the top of his head for three hours a day.

01:04:09.000 And then they found out he was doing it on like 25 oxycontin.

01:04:13.000 A hundred.

01:04:14.000 A hundred?

01:04:15.000 A hundred a day.

01:04:16.000 I mean...

01:04:16.000 Not only...

01:04:17.000 He did so much that he went deaf.

01:04:19.000 You understand that?

01:04:20.000 That's crazy.

01:04:20.000 That's so crazy.

01:04:21.000 You ever see that fucking apparatus that he had connected to his head? 1.00

01:04:24.000 Wow. 1.00

01:04:24.000 Alex explained it to me. 1.00

01:04:26.000 It was another Alex Jones thing.

01:04:28.000 Basically, the way it works.

01:04:29.000 He explained to me how if you do so much OxyContin, you literally can go deaf.

01:04:34.000 Wow.

01:04:35.000 He had his maid, I believe, buying them, and she got busted.

01:04:39.000 But this was during the time where what they had was these pain management clinics in Florida.

01:04:48.000 And these pain management clinics are – this was all exposed by the documentary, The OxyContin Express.

01:04:54.000 Right. 0.98

01:04:55.000 And what they would do is they would have these pain management clinics who go, oh, my fucking back is killing me. 0.98

01:05:01.000 And they would go, oh, well, you need OxyContin. 0.97

01:05:04.000 And they'd write a prescription and you literally go like right next door to where the bathroom is here.

01:05:08.000 Right.

01:05:08.000 And you would walk in there and that's the pharmacy.

01:05:11.000 And the pharmacy only prescribes OxyContin.

01:05:15.000 Sounds lovely.

01:05:16.000 It's bananas.

01:05:17.000 And you would just get it, and then you would become addicted.

01:05:21.000 Yeah.

01:05:21.000 I mean, this is a huge problem.

01:05:23.000 And I know that that family, the Sackler family, has kind of been ostracized from polite society now, like people won't even take their donations.

01:05:32.000 For certain types of charities because they don't want to take the blood money.

01:05:37.000 A lot of that is because of the woman I had on my podcast, Mariana Van Zeller. 0.97

01:05:41.000 Mariana, she was...

01:05:43.000 What was the network that she did that for?

01:05:47.000 Was it on that GO2? I don't believe it was.

01:05:50.000 I think it was something different.

01:05:51.000 It was something different at the time.

01:05:53.000 She has a new show that's amazing.

01:05:54.000 It's called Traffic. 0.99

01:05:56.000 It's fucking incredible. 1.00

01:05:58.000 This lady, she has titanic balls. 1.00

01:06:02.000 If she was a man, it would be too big for her to walk. 0.99

01:06:04.000 It was a show called Vanguard on Current TV. Current TV. Her new show called Traffic, she goes to Columbia where they make cocaine. 1.00

01:06:14.000 And she's there every step of the way.

01:06:16.000 Not only is she there, but she hikes out, backpacks with them.

01:06:20.000 And the new show's on Nat Geo, right? 0.99

01:06:22.000 Dude, the new show exposes how the fucking LAPD, like, rogue agents in the LAPD, are trafficking guns to the cartels in Mexico. 0.99

01:06:33.000 Wow. 0.99

01:06:33.000 Through LA, because, you know, you can drive into Mexico with no inspection. 0.99

01:06:36.000 You just drive. 0.98

01:06:38.000 They don't give a fuck if you drive in. 0.98

01:06:39.000 So these guys were buying guns, or taking guns from, like, criminals. 0.99

01:06:44.000 Right.

01:06:44.000 And then selling them to the cartels.

01:06:47.000 And she went with them every step of the way.

01:06:49.000 She went with the people in Colombia.

01:06:51.000 She showed them the chemists making the cocaine. 0.99

01:06:54.000 See if you can get a video of this, because it's fucking crazy. 1.00

01:06:56.000 It's fucking nuts. 0.99

01:06:58.000 Is the video online? 1.00

01:06:59.000 The video of the cocaine shit? 1.00

01:07:01.000 Dude, it's so crazy. 1.00

01:07:03.000 They're stomping on this stuff.

01:07:05.000 These are the coca leaves.

01:07:06.000 They're making the cocaine. 1.00

01:07:07.000 They pour, like, fucking gasoline. 1.00

01:07:09.000 There's her right there. 1.00

01:07:10.000 There's Mariana.

01:07:11.000 She's... 1.00

01:07:11.000 Such a fucking courageous, boots-on-the-ground journalist. 1.00

01:07:16.000 And she hikes out with them. 1.00

01:07:18.000 They carry these fucking backpacks filled with cocaine, like a million dollars worth of coke, or three-quarters of a million dollars worth of coke, on their back. 1.00

01:07:26.000 And they're walking 18 hours through the fucking jungle. 1.00

01:07:29.000 Because you can't afford to have it in a car, you'll get pulled over, people steal it. 0.99

01:07:34.000 This is such an interesting process, what they do, you know?

01:07:38.000 That lady is so courageous.

01:07:40.000 She's tough.

01:07:41.000 Dude, you gotta watch the show.

01:07:42.000 Why does she do this? 1.00

01:07:43.000 Is she like a big cocaine announcer? 1.00

01:07:45.000 Yeah, that's exactly what.

01:07:47.000 Can't believe you're ratting her out.

01:07:48.000 She's a journalist.

01:07:50.000 Can you hate drugs, though, if you're doing that?

01:07:52.000 You gotta be a little curious.

01:07:53.000 Well, just get a little coked up.

01:07:54.000 She's gotta go.

01:07:55.000 She probably goes, give me a little taste. 1.00

01:07:57.000 It's easier to hike out.

01:07:58.000 You gotta be a little curious for doing that.

01:08:00.000 Imagine if she was just coked up hiking. 0.99

01:08:01.000 Yeah, you're like, she has big balls. 1.00

01:08:02.000 I'm like, she's a crackhead. 1.00

01:08:04.000 She's freebasing cocaine all day. 0.99

01:08:06.000 She's out there doing coke and fighting. 1.00

01:08:09.000 Good for her.

01:08:10.000 And you see also there's a lot of myths.

01:08:14.000 You think that the people that are growing the cocaine are these evil cartels.

01:08:18.000 No, they're farmers.

01:08:19.000 The people growing the coca leaves are just poor farmers.

01:08:22.000 They need to do it.

01:08:23.000 They're out there in Columbia drying them on the side of the road.

01:08:26.000 On the side of the road, they have these blankets set out with coca leaves.

01:08:29.000 And they're drying them out and they sell them to the cartels.

01:08:33.000 That's what like Vice used to be.

01:08:35.000 Yes.

01:08:35.000 Vice used to be that.

01:08:36.000 Now Vice is like running things where it's like pregnant women being discriminated against in MMA. And you're like, what? 1.00

01:08:43.000 Right.

01:08:44.000 Or veganism is racist. 0.98

01:08:46.000 But that's what Vice used to be when it was fucking awesome. 0.91

01:08:48.000 You would have little mini documentaries where people would go to like towns that were, you know, from like, you know, they go to Chernobyl or something.

01:08:56.000 They go to really cool places.

01:08:58.000 Machine Smith. 1.00

01:08:58.000 He did all that shit. 1.00

01:09:00.000 He went to Chernobyl and they found these nuclear-powered wolves that were running around. 1.00

01:09:07.000 Dude, shit like that was great. 0.99

01:09:08.000 Price was amazing. 1.00

01:09:09.000 And then it just went crazy.

01:09:10.000 Well, they sold it for a lot of money.

01:09:13.000 It's unfortunate.

01:09:14.000 And then they became woke.

01:09:17.000 Were you a Limbaugh fan at any point?

01:09:19.000 No.

01:09:20.000 No, but did you ever listen to him?

01:09:22.000 Occasionally, I would rage listen.

01:09:23.000 Did he ever make you laugh?

01:09:25.000 No.

01:09:26.000 Really?

01:09:27.000 He used to make me laugh.

01:09:28.000 He'd go, people say that I don't talk to working people.

01:09:31.000 And then he'd go, I was on a jet the other day with Bill Parcells.

01:09:34.000 He has a job.

01:09:35.000 Things like that would make me laugh.

01:09:37.000 He was just...

01:09:38.000 But again, he supposedly did really bad stuff. 0.90

01:09:40.000 When gay people died with AIDS, he supposedly mocked them with a song or something, which is like...

01:09:46.000 I haven't heard the song.

01:09:47.000 I don't know if it's good.

01:09:48.000 But I guess it was... 1.00

01:09:50.000 He did bad shit. 1.00

01:09:51.000 He's not a moral paragon. 1.00

01:09:53.000 But I mean...

01:09:54.000 I don't know.

01:09:55.000 The dude, he leaned into being that kind of evil, kind of conservative, cigar smoking, SUV driving, living in a castle in Palm Beach.

01:10:03.000 Wait a minute.

01:10:03.000 I drove around an SUV and I'm smoking a cigar right now.

01:10:05.000 Uh-oh.

01:10:05.000 What are you trying to say?

01:10:06.000 But he was also a big fat golfer, which you need.

01:10:10.000 You are not.

01:10:10.000 I don't know.

01:10:11.000 But he was interesting.

01:10:13.000 But anyone that talks for that long, and obviously nobody's going to love them forever.

01:10:18.000 You're not going to get loved.

01:10:20.000 It's not, you know, part of the program is if you talk for that long, you're going to anger people.

01:10:28.000 It's going to anger them.

01:10:31.000 But I always remember him as like a figure from my childhood where he would like...

01:10:36.000 Always be on the...

01:10:36.000 And he would just...

01:10:37.000 My grandmother was a big liberal, hated him, and I'd put him on in the car, and she'd hate him, and she'd go, shut it off!

01:10:43.000 Well, that was AM radio, was always conservative talk radio.

01:10:46.000 Just crotchety, Bob Grant.

01:10:47.000 Yes, I remember that guy.

01:10:49.000 I remember Bob Grant.

01:10:50.000 I used to listen to him in New York when I would...

01:10:52.000 On my way to gigs?

01:10:52.000 Yeah, he'd be like, get off my phone.

01:10:54.000 These people were very, to me, just listening to this world of, it was very funny to me.

01:11:00.000 People would get emotional and angry and yell at each other.

01:11:03.000 And I was driving around the suburbs.

01:11:04.000 I'm like, this is kind of an interesting world. 0.99

01:11:06.000 Because it's an interesting entrance point into culture is that there's a bunch of people that are fucking angry. 0.96

01:11:12.000 My favorite was Phil Hendry. 0.92

01:11:14.000 He's brilliant.

01:11:15.000 He's brilliant.

01:11:15.000 So Phil Hendry's brilliant.

01:11:17.000 If people don't know what Phil Hendry would do, Phil Hendry would play both sides. 0.89

01:11:20.000 He would be one guy, he would be Phil Hendry, and then he'd be another guy, this ridiculous, outrageous guy.

01:11:27.000 A guest who would say things that are preposterous and not true, but it would also be Phil. 0.77

01:11:32.000 He would use a voice machine, so he would alter his voice.

01:11:35.000 Right. 1.00

01:11:36.000 And then he would have callers, and callers would call him, this guy's full of shit! 1.00

01:11:40.000 Right. 1.00

01:11:40.000 This guy's a liar! 1.00

01:11:41.000 He was also doing them. 1.00

01:11:42.000 Not always.

01:11:43.000 Not always, but every now and then he would do four or six voices in a bit, and it was amazing.

01:11:49.000 And then people didn't know.

01:11:51.000 People were shocked when they found out that he was one guy having an argument with four people, and you're like, this is one guy.

01:11:58.000 The lat level of talent's amazing.

01:12:00.000 Oh, he was brilliant, and still is.

01:12:02.000 Is he still around?

01:12:03.000 Is he still doing it?

01:12:05.000 I mean, he's got a Twitter account.

01:12:06.000 I'm looking him up.

01:12:07.000 It's a tricky thing because once people find out, then if everyone's in on the joke, the joke doesn't work.

01:12:12.000 You have to have a bunch of rubes out there that don't understand what he's doing or a bunch of people that have never listened before. 1.00

01:12:17.000 Or can just appreciate it at least for what it is.

01:12:19.000 There he is.

01:12:19.000 The Phil Hendry Show.

01:12:20.000 I ran into him.

01:12:22.000 Who are all those other people?

01:12:24.000 Those characters that he plays?

01:12:25.000 Is he a Boston guy?

01:12:27.000 No, he's an LA guy, I believe.

01:12:29.000 Yeah.

01:12:30.000 He was on in LA. That's when I listened to him.

01:12:32.000 But I hung out with him.

01:12:34.000 Me and him and Stan Hope did some thing together with a couple other people in, I believe it was Montreal, some interview show.

01:12:43.000 And he was a lovely guy, like a really nice guy.

01:12:45.000 Yeah.

01:12:45.000 Well, he's supremely talented in a way that very few people are that can do that.

01:12:50.000 And he's really like, he's gracious.

01:12:52.000 Like when I say, I go, dude, I really love your show.

01:12:54.000 I love it.

01:12:55.000 I love what you're doing.

01:12:56.000 I love the nonsense of it.

01:12:57.000 I love the chaos he creates.

01:12:59.000 And he got a giggle out of it.

01:13:01.000 It's amazing.

01:13:03.000 Because guys like Rush obviously had politics.

01:13:05.000 So they would do three hours a day, but it's one topic.

01:13:08.000 But a guy like Phil is just different all the time.

01:13:11.000 The amount of prep work that goes into that.

01:13:13.000 The amount of ingenuity and imagination is crazy.

01:13:17.000 Here's a good point.

01:13:19.000 Do you think that a guy like Rush is pure, meaning that these are his real opinions?

01:13:25.000 Or do you think that he finds a lane that he can be successful in?

01:13:28.000 I think it's a bit of both.

01:13:29.000 Do a lot of Oxycontin and bang a lot of women and drive around in a Rolls Royce and smoke cigars and just talk craziness. 0.99

01:13:37.000 Probably a little bit of both because one starts to reinforce the other.

01:13:40.000 That's a problem with characters.

01:13:41.000 Yeah.

01:13:42.000 We see that with comics.

01:13:44.000 Like Dice.

01:13:45.000 It's a perfect example.

01:13:46.000 Who I love.

01:13:47.000 Love Dice.

01:13:48.000 Dice used to be Andrew Silverstein.

01:13:50.000 And the Dice Man was one of the characters that he did.

01:13:53.000 And then he just became that guy.

01:13:55.000 But that was the great character.

01:13:56.000 That was the guy.

01:13:57.000 But he became that guy.

01:13:59.000 He leaned into it.

01:14:00.000 The same thing with Kinison.

01:14:01.000 Right.

01:14:02.000 Kinnison was a comic who became Sam Kinnison when he became famous.

01:14:08.000 Brilliant comic. 1.00

01:14:09.000 Pentecostal preacher, crazy, wild man, speaking in tongues, all that shit. 1.00

01:14:14.000 Tent revivals. 1.00

01:14:15.000 And then when he became famous, and he talked about it openly, that he became known as being this guy who could do insane drugs. 0.99

01:14:23.000 So they would lay out a fucking line of coke as long as this table. 0.99

01:14:27.000 He'd snort it off. 1.00

01:14:27.000 They'd be like, it's him! 1.00

01:14:28.000 It's him!

01:14:29.000 Lay the drums out! 1.00

01:14:30.000 And he would lay down and snort it off and be like, oh my god, I'm going to fucking die. 0.99

01:14:34.000 Is it hard to be beaten out of his chest? 0.99

01:14:37.000 It's interesting.

01:14:37.000 I think Rush started kind of like Alex.

01:14:40.000 Rush started as a very somewhat conspiratorial, outside the mainstream voice on a small radio station.

01:14:47.000 And then I think he found the way to really make money was to take a side and stick with it.

01:14:53.000 Yeah, but that's the thing, right?

01:14:54.000 It's like you find a place where you're...

01:14:57.000 And that's...

01:14:57.000 It's difficult for all of us.

01:14:59.000 But he did define...

01:15:00.000 But don't you think that's difficult for all of us?

01:15:01.000 It's hard for everybody.

01:15:02.000 But when you find a place where you're successful...

01:15:05.000 It's hard to...

01:15:06.000 We, personally, without naming names, we've seen it in people.

01:15:09.000 Yes.

01:15:09.000 Like, the right lures them in, and then they lean into it like, yeah, you're right, you're right.

01:15:15.000 And then they go into that, and you see them change.

01:15:17.000 You see, like, you're not the same person who you were a year ago.

01:15:20.000 Well, it's the way you said it best, where it's like, if that's how you get attention, you keep getting attention that way.

01:15:25.000 Yes.

01:15:27.000 I think with Rush, he started to define this landscape where he became – the mainstream media in America is decidedly left-leaning.

01:15:36.000 I mean obviously it's a for-profit commercial space, capitalist space, everything like that.

01:15:41.000 But left-leaning in the optics and Rush was kind of that conservative voice.

01:15:48.000 Yes.

01:15:48.000 On radio.

01:15:49.000 He was the insurgency, so to speak, against that popular culture.

01:15:54.000 And he defined that space kind of more than anybody.

01:15:58.000 And he became this grandfather of that type of culture.

01:16:06.000 Conservative radio.

01:16:07.000 And all the people that didn't feel represented, they finally had a guy, and they would give him so much love.

01:16:13.000 They loved him, and they would drive around with him.

01:16:15.000 It's an interesting medium, radio.

01:16:16.000 It's very personal, because you're driving around, a lot of times you're alone, and a lot of times you're not happy.

01:16:22.000 Yeah.

01:16:38.000 But they still feel very...

01:16:39.000 But radio, you would just turn the dial, and then some guy's talking.

01:16:42.000 It was wild.

01:16:44.000 Yeah.

01:16:44.000 Podcasts, the other thing about podcasts, and this is the thing that I've been talking to Spotify about, as much as people hate the comment section of YouTube, I think it's important.

01:16:52.000 Sure.

01:16:53.000 And I think it's one of the reasons why I still have clips on YouTube.

01:16:56.000 It was an imperative...

01:16:58.000 It was one of the things that I wanted...

01:17:02.000 Period.

01:17:02.000 I was like, you have to have clips.

01:17:04.000 We have to have clips up available.

01:17:05.000 If you don't want to put the whole show on...

01:17:07.000 And eventually...

01:17:08.000 Originally, the whole show was going to be on YouTube.

01:17:10.000 And then the...

01:17:11.000 This is what happened.

01:17:11.000 I'll tell everybody.

01:17:12.000 When the Elon Musk episode happened, the first one I did, when I got him to smoke weed...

01:17:17.000 And then there's this viral moment.

01:17:19.000 My manager said to Spotify, listen, you have to have video.

01:17:22.000 Because they didn't want it to be on YouTube.

01:17:24.000 And that was the deal breaker.

01:17:25.000 I was like, it has to be on video.

01:17:26.000 It has to.

01:17:27.000 You have to have something, some video aspect of it.

01:17:31.000 That's where you get a viral moment.

01:17:32.000 You don't get an audio viral moment.

01:17:35.000 You need video.

01:17:36.000 You need to see Elon go...

01:17:39.000 You need to see that.

01:17:40.000 And then they're like, you're right.

01:17:42.000 Let's do video.

01:17:43.000 And then they got into video.

01:17:44.000 And that's one of the reasons why there's so many hiccups in the transition between YouTube and what we're doing right now.

01:17:51.000 I can't talk too much, but a lot of it is going to improve.

01:17:54.000 There's a lot of stuff that they're on the verge of releasing, which will help a lot in terms of people having access to the video portion of the show.

01:18:03.000 You gotta have comments.

01:18:05.000 I think comments are important because it gives people the sense that they can talk about it. 0.99

01:18:10.000 They can talk shit. 0.99

01:18:11.000 They like to criticize. 1.00

01:18:13.000 They like to pile on.

01:18:15.000 They like to have their own little thing.

01:18:16.000 And I think that's an important part of the show.

01:18:19.000 That's missing on talk radio.

01:18:23.000 On talk radio, they don't have that.

01:18:25.000 It's missing on that.

01:18:26.000 However, talk radio before the comment section was like this weird original comment section where people would call up and then they'd have regular callers.

01:18:36.000 So you have the guys that have the top comment.

01:18:39.000 Everyone's fighting to get that top comment or whatever.

01:18:41.000 You had regular callers that would call in.

01:18:44.000 And Bob Grant, there's one guy who's called Bob Grant, and he goes, you know, come on.

01:18:48.000 Get out with it.

01:18:49.000 I know you want to talk about the Jews.

01:18:51.000 Because this was just an anti-Semitic guy who would just start from anywhere.

01:18:56.000 He'd be like, you know, the Columbus Day Parade.

01:18:58.000 Here's the problem with hot dogs.

01:19:00.000 Yeah, it would just go right to Jews. 0.99

01:19:01.000 So you'd have these regular crazy callers.

01:19:03.000 And it was the beginning of all of these weird things, like Reddit or any of these things.

01:19:07.000 Because they would send Bob Grant and all these people, they would send them song parodies.

01:19:11.000 They would send them artwork.

01:19:12.000 They would send them...

01:19:13.000 It was just this weird...

01:19:14.000 That's where everyone's like, where is this...

01:19:16.000 All this male anger?

01:19:17.000 Where...

01:19:18.000 You know, it's like it was there.

01:19:19.000 It's always there.

01:19:20.000 Male anger.

01:19:20.000 Yeah, whatever it is.

01:19:21.000 It's like there's always frustrated people that are angry.

01:19:24.000 You gotta give them an outlet, and the outlet should be kind of funny.

01:19:27.000 Isn't it interesting that, like, female versions of podcasts, when you come to, like, female anger... 1.00

01:19:33.000 Like, what are the top female podcasts? 1.00

01:19:36.000 It's Guys We Fucked, right? 0.94

01:19:37.000 Yeah. 0.89

01:19:38.000 Well, then not no, because they're on Lumosity.

01:19:40.000 What's the other one?

01:19:41.000 Yeah, Luminary.

01:19:42.000 Call Her Daddy is the big one.

01:19:43.000 But what it is, there are girls talking about stuff that they would talk about if they were hanging out with their friends.

01:19:48.000 Right.

01:19:49.000 Where no one was listening.

01:19:50.000 Right.

01:19:51.000 And that is, it's not political.

01:19:54.000 Right.

01:19:55.000 Or murder.

01:19:56.000 That's a big one. 0.87

01:19:57.000 They love murder.

01:19:59.000 They love serial killer shows.

01:20:00.000 They love murder.

01:20:01.000 And they love those A&E unsolved mysteries.

01:20:04.000 Yeah.

01:20:05.000 Well, there's a lot of women out there that are like, I hope someone cares enough about me to throw me in a trunk. 1.00

01:20:09.000 That's not what it is.

01:20:10.000 I think that's a lot of what it is.

01:20:11.000 No, they're vulnerable.

01:20:12.000 Well sure, there's part of that- They wanna understand what- Psycho-sexual thing, sure.

01:20:16.000 No, that's not what I'm saying.

01:20:17.000 No?

01:20:17.000 They wanna understand the male violence.

01:20:21.000 Sure.

01:20:21.000 They don't see the- They don't have that aspect of their brain.

01:20:26.000 Yes, but I also think some of them are like, hey, doesn't that sound nice?

01:20:31.000 The only female serial killer that's on record that we know of is Aileen Wuornos.

01:20:35.000 Aileen Wuornos.

01:20:36.000 Yeah.

01:20:36.000 Who made that movie Monster.

01:20:38.000 My friend Patty, she directed that.

01:20:40.000 She made it.

01:20:41.000 Yeah, it's a great movie.

01:20:42.000 It's an amazing movie. 0.81

01:20:42.000 It's about, and she would just kill Johns. 0.81

01:20:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:20:45.000 But only when they fucked with her, I think. 1.00

01:20:47.000 No. 1.00

01:20:47.000 No, she'd kill them all the time. 1.00

01:20:48.000 She fucking hated those guys. 1.00

01:20:50.000 Well, she was abused and raped. 1.00

01:20:52.000 I know, but, you know, I don't know. 0.96

01:20:54.000 That shows you how good Charlene Theron is, too.

01:20:58.000 She's great.

01:20:59.000 Woo! 0.99

01:20:59.000 Charlize Theron. 0.99

01:21:00.000 Isn't she the one that plays all the Asian parts? 1.00

01:21:02.000 People get mad?

01:21:02.000 No, that's the Scarlett Johansson.

01:21:04.000 Right, thank you for correct me. 0.99

01:21:05.000 You're gay, you don't care about these women. 1.00

01:21:07.000 I don't really care about these women. 1.00

01:21:09.000 I mean, I know who they are.

01:21:10.000 I think they're good actresses. 1.00

01:21:12.000 There's a big difference.

01:21:13.000 Yeah, I'm not following Scarlett Johansson's career.

01:21:16.000 I do like when she plays an Asian, though.

01:21:17.000 I think that's good.

01:21:18.000 I don't think it was an Asian.

01:21:19.000 I think she was playing a Caucasian in a role that was traditionally an Asian role.

01:21:24.000 Well, I support whatever she wants to do.

01:21:26.000 Me too.

01:21:27.000 I think she should play Queen Latifah in a biopic. 0.97

01:21:29.000 Whatever she wants.

01:21:30.000 I don't think that's advised.

01:21:31.000 I'm all for chaos and people getting mad.

01:21:34.000 Didn't she back out of a movie where she was supposed to play a trans person? 1.00

01:21:39.000 Yeah, she's always the one.

01:21:41.000 Is that true, Jamie?

01:21:41.000 It's always her that she's always going to play someone that she shouldn't play.

01:21:46.000 It's always like, Scarlett Johansson is going to play Maya Angelou. 0.99

01:21:49.000 And everyone's like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:21:51.000 Everyone's like, no. 1.00

01:21:52.000 And then she comes out and she's like, I just didn't realize the deep pain.

01:21:56.000 Scarlett Johansson is Harriet Tubman.

01:21:57.000 Yeah, she's Harriet Tubman.

01:21:58.000 Just go out and own it and be like, I am Maya Angelou. 1.00

01:22:01.000 Fuck you if you can't see it. 1.00

01:22:02.000 I'm the greatest actress that ever lived. 1.00

01:22:04.000 Stop with the apologizing.

01:22:05.000 But they just CGI her to make her black. 1.00

01:22:07.000 It's not blackface.

01:22:08.000 Right.

01:22:09.000 I'm all for it.

01:22:10.000 It's no different than Avatar.

01:22:11.000 It's acting.

01:22:12.000 It's acting.

01:22:13.000 It's acting.

01:22:13.000 Yeah.

01:22:14.000 So, yeah.

01:22:15.000 She's an interesting character.

01:22:17.000 Did you ever see that movie?

01:22:18.000 I think it's called Under the Skin.

01:22:20.000 It's an indie science fiction movie with Scarlett Johansson.

01:22:23.000 I don't think so.

01:22:23.000 It's one of my favorite science fiction movies.

01:22:25.000 It's really interesting.

01:22:26.000 She plays an alien that... 1.00

01:22:28.000 I just gotta remember the premise.

01:22:32.000 An illegal alien?

01:22:33.000 No, she's an actual alien. 0.99

01:22:34.000 No, no, no.

01:22:34.000 Like an actual alien from another planet.

01:22:37.000 And...

01:22:37.000 I forget what she does.

01:22:39.000 Like, she...

01:22:40.000 Disguising herself as a human female, an extraterrestrial, drives around Scotland, attempting to lure unsuspecting men into her van. 0.95

01:22:45.000 Once there, she seduces and sends them to another dimension where they're nothing more than meat. 0.99

01:22:49.000 That's kind of fucking cool. 0.98

01:22:50.000 It was a good movie. 0.99

01:22:51.000 That's pretty cool. 0.99

01:22:52.000 63% like this movie, and yeah, 37% are just pussies. 0.99

01:22:57.000 It was a good movie. 0.99

01:22:58.000 It's weird.

01:22:59.000 It's a weird movie.

01:23:00.000 You gotta see it.

01:23:01.000 It's real weird.

01:23:03.000 Under the Skin TV series.

01:23:04.000 Wait, wait, wait.

01:23:05.000 Back up.

01:23:05.000 Back up to what you just had.

01:23:08.000 TV series leads to bidding wars.

01:23:10.000 Uh-oh.

01:23:11.000 There's a TV series based on it.

01:23:14.000 I wonder if Scarlett Johansson's going to be in that, too. 0.82

01:23:16.000 See, the thing is, like, part of it, she's oddly beautiful, right?

01:23:20.000 Like, look at that picture in the middle, the up top.

01:23:22.000 It's very pretty.

01:23:23.000 She's very pretty, but in a weird way.

01:23:29.000 Undeniably beautiful, but untraditional in some ways.

01:23:32.000 Yeah.

01:23:33.000 Exotic?

01:23:34.000 Yeah.

01:23:34.000 Weird.

01:23:36.000 You would think she wouldn't buy in any bullshit. 1.00

01:23:39.000 Right. 1.00

01:23:40.000 Pretty, but probably too smart for her own good. 0.98

01:23:42.000 She dates Colin Jost.

01:23:44.000 He's the writer on Saturday Night Live, right?

01:23:46.000 Yeah.

01:23:46.000 She's married to him.

01:23:47.000 Yeah, they're married.

01:23:48.000 We can update.

01:23:48.000 Good dude.

01:23:49.000 Really good guy.

01:23:50.000 You like him?

01:23:50.000 You know him?

01:23:50.000 He's a really good guy.

01:23:51.000 When I opened for him at Caroline's years ago, he gave me extra money.

01:23:54.000 He's just a really class act, good guy, friendly guy.

01:23:57.000 Dress is nice.

01:23:58.000 Dress is nice.

01:23:59.000 Good dude.

01:23:59.000 Beautiful hair.

01:24:00.000 Yeah.

01:24:00.000 No, he's a good dude.

01:24:02.000 He wins.

01:24:03.000 He wins.

01:24:04.000 He's like a Harvard guy. 0.77

01:24:05.000 He's killed it.

01:24:07.000 He married Scarlett Johansson. 0.75

01:24:08.000 He just killed it in life.

01:24:10.000 Don't they have a baby together or something?

01:24:12.000 I don't know them that well.

01:24:14.000 She has a baby, right?

01:24:15.000 They might.

01:24:16.000 Does she have a baby previous to him? 0.99

01:24:19.000 I don't give a fuck about that. 0.99

01:24:20.000 But here's the thing. 0.99

01:24:21.000 She might be pretending to be pregnant. 1.00

01:24:24.000 She's pretending to have a baby. 1.00

01:24:27.000 She's full of shit. 1.00

01:24:29.000 Yeah, she is a mom. 1.00

01:24:30.000 She's a mom.

01:24:32.000 Her child's Asian.

01:24:34.000 I don't think that's true.

01:24:35.000 But I'm a fan.

01:24:39.000 I'm available.

01:24:41.000 But there was a movie where she got in trouble.

01:24:45.000 I was looking that up.

01:24:50.000 Yeah, here it is.

01:24:51.000 Scarlett Johansson faced criticism for wanting to play a trans man in Rub and Tug.

01:24:56.000 First of all, the name alone.

01:24:57.000 Rub and Tug? 0.99

01:24:58.000 Perfect.

01:25:00.000 It was announced that Johansson wanted to play Dante Text Gill, a trans man who ran a massage parlor and prostitution ring in Pittsburgh in the 1970s and 80s.

01:25:11.000 There was pushback asserting that a trans actor should have a chance to play the part. 0.99

01:25:16.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:25:18.000 Find me a trans actor that everybody knows that's going to sell tickets the way Scarlett Johansson does. 1.00

01:25:25.000 You've got to understand there's a business involved in making movies.

01:25:28.000 That's a good point.

01:25:28.000 That's a great point.

01:25:29.000 It doesn't invalidate her.

01:25:33.000 She's an actress. 1.00

01:25:34.000 If she plays a superhero, when she plays Black Widow or whatever the fuck it is, she's not really a fucking superhero. 1.00

01:25:40.000 She's not or a spider. 1.00

01:25:42.000 What is the one?

01:25:43.000 Is it Black Widow? 0.99

01:25:44.000 She's not really a fucking superhero. 0.99

01:25:46.000 Guys, she's acting. 1.00

01:25:48.000 Why can't a regular heterosexual woman play a trans man? 1.00

01:25:55.000 Why not?

01:25:56.000 I don't know.

01:25:57.000 I think people are like, hey, give the trans person. 0.73

01:26:00.000 But here's the thing.

01:26:01.000 How many people, though?

01:26:02.000 Of course.

01:26:03.000 And also, they've got to make money.

01:26:05.000 Movies are cast.

01:26:06.000 I just spoke to a big director recently, and I didn't even realize this.

01:26:09.000 Are you dropping names?

01:26:11.000 He told me I was going to be in something, and I submitted the audition, and I didn't get it.

01:26:17.000 Okay?

01:26:17.000 And then I lost $1,800 on AMC stock, and I thought I was going to retire.

01:26:22.000 So can someone call Dave Portnoy and ask for my money?

01:26:25.000 Ha! 0.89

01:26:26.000 Where's the line holding? 1.00

01:26:27.000 Fuck now. 1.00

01:26:28.000 He's busy sampling pizza. 1.00

01:26:30.000 So I talked to his director.

01:26:31.000 He goes, listen, he goes, they cast a movie based on box office numbers.

01:26:38.000 Of course.

01:26:39.000 I mean, it's like no one cares.

01:26:40.000 Yeah, if you're doing a movie and you feel like you're the perfect person for the role but Marky Mark wants that part, it's over.

01:26:46.000 It's over.

01:26:47.000 It's over.

01:26:48.000 So I don't know who they're replacing me with.

01:26:49.000 Probably Amy Schumer. 0.98

01:26:50.000 Probably The Rock.

01:26:51.000 Amy Schumer.

01:26:52.000 From me to The Rock, I think it's tough.

01:26:53.000 From me to Amy Schumer, I think 30 yards, it's the same actor.

01:26:56.000 I don't think it's even 30. But, yeah, I mean, you know, Hollywood, it's a tough thing.

01:27:05.000 Listen, now it's even tougher, right? 0.99

01:27:06.000 Who the fuck is going to go to a movie theater now? 0.99

01:27:08.000 It's also the idea of like, it's like if my grandparents and all the people that came to this country wanted to be fucking comedians or actors, we'd all be fucking dead. 0.99

01:27:16.000 Thank God they had real jobs. 1.00

01:27:17.000 You want more trans people at the fucking post office. 1.00

01:27:20.000 You don't want trans people, gay people, or anybody to throw their lives away on this crazy profession that works out for such a small percentage of people that try it. 1.00

01:27:29.000 It's crazy. 0.83

01:27:30.000 What is the percentage?

01:27:30.000 I mean...

01:27:31.000 There's a better chance of being a professional comic.

01:27:34.000 That's a small one, too.

01:27:36.000 It's small, but at least it's self-actualized.

01:27:39.000 To a degree.

01:27:41.000 To a degree.

01:27:42.000 Listen, if you're undeniable, if you're really funny and you keep going...

01:27:45.000 Some people think they're undeniable.

01:27:47.000 Yeah, but that's wrong.

01:27:48.000 But if you literally are funny...

01:27:50.000 I mean, that's like fighters. 0.99

01:27:51.000 Some guys think they can kick everyone's ass, and then they find out. 0.99

01:27:54.000 They find out. 1.00

01:27:55.000 They meet Kamaru Usman, and they get fucking brain damage. 1.00

01:27:58.000 They got killed. 1.00

01:27:58.000 Listen, there's a lot of people out there that think they're the shit, but comedy is... 1.00

01:28:05.000 At the end of the day, it really is something that, in a sense, is pure. 1.00

01:28:11.000 Sure.

01:28:12.000 Because, you know, I had this conversation with Ali Wong.

01:28:15.000 She's like, do you think comedy is a meritocracy?

01:28:17.000 And I said, I think it's one of the rare ones it really is.

01:28:20.000 She goes, I agree.

01:28:21.000 I agree.

01:28:21.000 If you are up there and you make them laugh, one of the things that's saddest to me is watching people who are talented to a degree, but lazy.

01:28:33.000 And they blame other extraneous outside forces and pressures for why they didn't make it in stand-up comedy.

01:28:42.000 I'm like, man, that's rarely the case.

01:28:44.000 Look at Joey Diaz. 0.89

01:28:47.000 There's a lot of people that just don't fit any fucking mold, but they're so undeniable that they make it. 0.67

01:28:53.000 So what stops someone from achieving success? 0.93

01:28:57.000 Well, a lot of times it's a lack of introspection.

01:28:59.000 It's a lack of objectivity.

01:29:01.000 It's a lack of looking at your act and saying, well, why aren't people showing up?

01:29:06.000 Why aren't people filling these clubs?

01:29:08.000 Why aren't people filling the theaters?

01:29:09.000 What's happening here?

01:29:10.000 I also think it's a tough thing.

01:29:14.000 You've got to get into it at the right time.

01:29:16.000 You've got to be ready to do it.

01:29:18.000 You've got to have your vices in check.

01:29:21.000 Or not.

01:29:24.000 Here's the big one that's unrecognized that I think I've really zeroed in on.

01:29:30.000 It's community.

01:29:32.000 We support each other.

01:29:33.000 If we don't support each other, we don't mean as much.

01:29:36.000 That's 100% right.

01:29:37.000 It means...

01:29:38.000 That's one of the reasons why so many guys are thinking about coming out here to Austin.

01:29:41.000 Yeah.

01:29:42.000 Because they know that we'll support them.

01:29:43.000 I think it's still a tough thing to do, even with all that stuff, and you've got to be ready to go to war.

01:29:51.000 You've got to be ready to fight for 10 years or however long it takes.

01:29:54.000 At least 10 years.

01:29:55.000 Yeah, at least 10. Yeah.

01:29:56.000 And it's a very tough thing to do, but that's what makes it special and all the things you said are important.

01:30:01.000 But you meet certain people and you go, that guy could have been really funny or that girl could have been really funny.

01:30:06.000 But they get off the train.

01:30:08.000 They get married.

01:30:08.000 They get sidetracked.

01:30:09.000 They get lazy.

01:30:10.000 And they have lives.

01:30:12.000 Some of them have lives.

01:30:13.000 Some of them get lazy and they don't write enough.

01:30:15.000 They don't write enough.

01:30:16.000 Yeah, a lot of them get lazy.

01:30:17.000 They don't do enough sets.

01:30:17.000 A lot of them don't do, like a podcast.

01:30:19.000 What I try to do, I try to do a bunch of, be funny on a bunch of different platforms, which saved my life because when the stage was taken away, I was like, okay, well, I have this podcast.

01:30:28.000 I can make these funny videos and we can do these things.

01:30:31.000 My God. 1.00

01:30:32.000 I need to create shit and make shit. 1.00

01:30:35.000 Well, not just that. 1.00

01:30:37.000 You also need to be active. 0.53

01:30:37.000 Some people aren't crazy enough, Joe. 0.53

01:30:39.000 Some people aren't crazy enough. 1.00

01:30:40.000 You've got to be a little crazy. 0.94

01:30:42.000 Well, they're not crazy enough in the right ways. 0.98

01:30:45.000 Sometimes they're crazy, but they're crazy in this blame everybody else way. 0.89

01:30:48.000 Yeah. 0.89

01:30:49.000 Which is really dangerous.

01:30:50.000 Right.

01:30:50.000 It's really dangerous because you can get people that agree with you and then it doesn't help you.

01:30:55.000 Right.

01:30:55.000 If you blame everybody else, the problem with that is there's no solution.

01:30:59.000 Right.

01:30:59.000 Because everybody else is the problem.

01:31:01.000 Right.

01:31:01.000 But if you look at yourself and you go, how could I have maximized my impact?

01:31:05.000 Right.

01:31:05.000 What have I done wrong?

01:31:07.000 I like to do both.

01:31:07.000 I like to work very hard and still blame others.

01:31:10.000 That's not bad.

01:31:10.000 I like to still be cynical and angry and blame everyone, but also work very hard.

01:31:14.000 I like what you're saying. 0.99

01:31:16.000 Very few people do that, but I don't want to lose my negativity and my ability to say, fuck these people, but I also work very hard. 0.98

01:31:23.000 But most people can't do both. 1.00

01:31:24.000 Most people go, well, fuck it then. 0.99

01:31:26.000 And I'm like, I'll complain for a half hour and then I go, all right, I'm going to go do all the stuff I got to do. 0.99

01:31:32.000 And people are like, really?

01:31:32.000 It's like, yeah, it's what I do.

01:31:34.000 Well, that fuck it, then, is a fucking dangerous perspective. 1.00

01:31:38.000 It's dangerous, yeah. 1.00

01:31:39.000 Because it doesn't help you, and it's like you've encountered a puzzle, and you've got to think about it like a boss in a video game.

01:31:45.000 Like, you hit that final level, and you can't figure out how to beat it, and you're like, it's not possible.

01:31:48.000 Right.

01:31:49.000 But it is possible, because other people have beaten it.

01:31:51.000 Other people have done it.

01:31:52.000 I had this conversation with my mom at one point in time.

01:31:55.000 She was talking to me about comedy.

01:32:00.000 It just seems so hard.

01:32:01.000 I go, but you've seen professional comedians that you like, right?

01:32:06.000 Right.

01:32:06.000 They did it.

01:32:07.000 Oh, yeah.

01:32:08.000 I go, well, what do you think is the difference?

01:32:10.000 Right.

01:32:11.000 She was like, I don't think you're funny.

01:32:12.000 Yeah.

01:32:15.000 Well, that gave you the motivation you need.

01:32:17.000 No, no.

01:32:18.000 I thought it was hilarious because my mom is a wonderful person.

01:32:23.000 It's not a job for everyone.

01:32:26.000 This is the thing.

01:32:27.000 My mom is not a supportive person in the sense that she's never said, you can do anything.

01:32:32.000 She's always been like, whoa, I don't know why you're doing that.

01:32:34.000 But that was the case with martial arts.

01:32:36.000 And that's a lot of people's moms. 1.00

01:32:38.000 But it's not a bad thing.

01:32:40.000 No.

01:32:40.000 Because they worry about the odds of you being successful.

01:32:43.000 I think the worst thing is a parent who goes, you can do everything.

01:32:46.000 That is worse.

01:32:46.000 That's bad.

01:32:47.000 That's worse.

01:32:48.000 I mean, the advice that my generation got was very like pie in the sky.

01:32:52.000 It was like, you can do anything you want, follow your dreams.

01:32:54.000 But it was like, there was no next part of that, which is like, by the way, work, sacrifice, risk.

01:33:00.000 You've got to tolerate levels of risk, right?

01:33:03.000 I think that's part of it with comedy.

01:33:04.000 You've got to tolerate levels of risk.

01:33:05.000 You've got to do something for a while, not earn money, hope it works out, and then it's a little risky, and depending on where you are in your life, some people are better suited to do that than others.

01:33:16.000 You also have to accept the grind.

01:33:19.000 And some people, they want a break.

01:33:21.000 They want a point where they cross the finish line and they're done.

01:33:25.000 Can't.

01:33:25.000 They made it.

01:33:26.000 Yeah, I made it.

01:33:27.000 And there's a real problem with comics who cross that finish line in terms of like they get on a television show.

01:33:32.000 And then we used to see that at the store all the time.

01:33:35.000 People who were decent comics. 0.87

01:33:37.000 But they would get sandwiched in between Jesselneck, Diaz, Shafir, me, and they would get stuck in the middle of that, and they would just eat shit, and they would be angry, and they'd be angry at the store. 0.74

01:33:49.000 And it's not the store. 0.93

01:33:50.000 Yeah, it's not their fault.

01:33:52.000 You were in an assassin's lineup.

01:33:55.000 And look, there's a parallel in jiu-jitsu, okay?

01:33:58.000 And the parallel in jiu-jitsu is like, if you were in a gym where there's a bunch of white belts and blue belts, and you're a black belt, you go in there...

01:34:05.000 You have what's called an easy roll.

01:34:09.000 They're not at your level and you can kind of tap everybody and you never get tapped. 0.96

01:34:13.000 But then you'll go to some fucking crazy gym where everybody's an assassin and you get handled. 0.97

01:34:19.000 And you get angry. 0.99

01:34:20.000 Those guys roll We're good to go.

01:34:32.000 We're good to go. 1.00

01:34:36.000 If you have a life and a job and a career and a family and a mortgage, you're not going to put in eight hours a day on the fucking mat. 0.99

01:34:43.000 But some guys are. 0.98

01:34:44.000 And you can't be mad at them.

01:34:45.000 Can't be mad at them.

01:34:46.000 And if you go to the store...

01:34:47.000 The store basically doesn't exist anymore.

01:34:50.000 But if you go to a place like what the store was a year ago...

01:34:53.000 Cellar, whatever.

01:34:55.000 It's more the store.

01:34:56.000 Yeah.

01:34:56.000 Because the cellar was really good.

01:34:58.000 It's a really great club.

01:34:59.000 But it wasn't the same sort of assassins lineup.

01:35:03.000 Right.

01:35:03.000 You would have, like, Chappelle would drop in or Attell would be there.

01:35:06.000 Right.

01:35:06.000 But, goddammit, there was nights at the store where you would look at the line.

01:35:10.000 We would laugh. 1.00

01:35:11.000 Like, this is fucking crazy. 0.99

01:35:12.000 It's like, historic. 0.99

01:35:13.000 It's Tuesday night.

01:35:14.000 It's historic.

01:35:15.000 Yeah.

01:35:16.000 You gotta be in that life.

01:35:19.000 You gotta live that life.

01:35:21.000 100%.

01:35:21.000 You gotta be in it 100%.

01:35:22.000 And that's why the kid I'm with is in it 100%.

01:35:25.000 That kid I'm worried about.

01:35:27.000 Yeah, he's gonna fail.

01:35:28.000 But you call him your opener.

01:35:30.000 That's a problem.

01:35:31.000 Well, he opens right now.

01:35:33.000 I was someone's opener.

01:35:33.000 I mean, this is what happens.

01:35:34.000 You've called people your opener.

01:35:35.000 But I want to be surrounded by people who are in it.

01:35:38.000 Yes.

01:35:39.000 I want to be surrounded by people that are like...

01:35:41.000 I want to get better every day.

01:35:43.000 And that's the thing.

01:35:44.000 And that's important no matter what level you're at, I think, to surround yourself with people who are truly about getting better.

01:35:52.000 And so many people are not.

01:35:57.000 But then you look at Bill Burr or Chappelle or you or guys that just have so many hours of material out and have crafted hour after hour after hour after hour. 0.99

01:36:06.000 And you go, fuck, if I want to hang with those guys, I've got to be a lot better. 0.99

01:36:09.000 And even people like... 0.99

01:36:11.000 You know, you go over the store and you look at some people that are not famous and they're amazing.

01:36:16.000 It's like in order to be at that level, you just got to keep working.

01:36:21.000 Well, this is the thing about being famous.

01:36:22.000 I think I have a responsibility when I find people who are very funny, who aren't famous, I want to get them famous.

01:36:29.000 Right, right.

01:36:30.000 I really feel that.

01:36:32.000 I have a pull.

01:36:33.000 Right.

01:36:36.000 I have a lot of responsibility in life, but I feel like I have a responsibility to this art form that's been very, very good to me.

01:36:42.000 Right.

01:36:43.000 And that's one of the reasons why I wanted to really set up shop here.

01:36:47.000 Yeah.

01:36:47.000 Because I felt like because of this podcast, because this podcast is a gigantic antenna, it's a gigantic broadcasting station.

01:36:56.000 Yeah.

01:36:56.000 It's like I can get the word out about people.

01:36:58.000 Right.

01:36:59.000 Well, you've always done that.

01:37:00.000 You did that for me.

01:37:00.000 You did it with a lot of people.

01:37:01.000 You built the scene in LA, kind of, single-handedly, right?

01:37:05.000 Right.

01:37:06.000 Well, I didn't build it.

01:37:07.000 It was already there.

01:37:07.000 You didn't build it, but you gave it a spotlight.

01:37:10.000 I used what I had with the podcast, and I said, let's jumpstart this motherfucker. 0.96

01:37:17.000 And I feel like I can do that here, and that's one of the things that I want to do. 0.98

01:37:19.000 And I think about it all the time, man. 0.99

01:37:21.000 My wife would be talking to me about furniture and shit, and I'm thinking, I can build this motherfucker up. 1.00

01:37:27.000 I can make this place utopia. 0.99

01:37:29.000 I can make this place a stand-up haven.

01:37:33.000 That's one of my main goals in life right now is to just figure out a way to, as a person who's established in stand-up and financially established and secure, you could just sit back and retire and relax in your laurels and just never work again.

01:37:50.000 Or you can say, I can make a difference in this art form in that I can give a platform and create a place where people are safe.

01:37:59.000 We can experiment.

01:38:00.000 You can take chances.

01:38:01.000 I used to take Ari Shafir on the road with me and I'd get him so high he'd forget what he was talking about.

01:38:05.000 And he'd go, I'm too high.

01:38:07.000 I can't go on stage.

01:38:07.000 I'd go, dude, it doesn't matter.

01:38:08.000 You can't get fired.

01:38:10.000 I said this to him.

01:38:11.000 I go, you're my friend.

01:38:13.000 I go, you never get fired. 1.00

01:38:14.000 I go, I want you to be free and free to fuck around. 1.00

01:38:17.000 And he's like, oh yeah. 1.00

01:38:19.000 I go, yeah, you can never get fired.

01:38:21.000 Well, he's been a little too free in the last year.

01:38:23.000 But it's debatable.

01:38:25.000 But that's the thing about giving people the space to be who they are.

01:38:30.000 Of course.

01:38:30.000 You have to give them the space to make mistakes.

01:38:32.000 Yes.

01:38:33.000 I feel like...

01:38:34.000 You can establish that in an environment like Austin that's not connected to Hollywood.

01:38:41.000 Yeah.

01:38:41.000 Because there was a carrot that was dangled in front of us.

01:38:44.000 You can get a sitcom.

01:38:45.000 You can get a talk show.

01:38:47.000 You can be in movies.

01:38:48.000 And that was always the carrot.

01:38:50.000 Right.

01:38:50.000 And these comics sort of whored themselves out to become a part of that.

01:38:53.000 And there's a lot of good comics who became terrible talk show hosts and terrible movie actors.

01:39:00.000 Yeah.

01:39:00.000 Whatever spark of brilliance that existed in their stand-up comedy in the early days that could have possibly led to something truly exceptional was extinguished and it was extinguished by this idea that you could become a part of this system that was very controlled and very censored and very like you could only exist you had to be left-wing you had to be progressive you had to be you know you can't have any controversial opinions because if you did people come after you You have this weird little area where,

01:39:30.000 as a comic, for a guy like you, that's not...

01:39:33.000 It's not gonna happen.

01:39:34.000 It's not good.

01:39:35.000 It's not good that there's such a stifling of that. 0.96

01:39:39.000 But then there's also, listen, there's gotta be shitty shows for people that wanna watch them, so let a lot of those comics write shitty shows. 0.91

01:39:47.000 Let actors do it. 0.90

01:39:48.000 Let actors do it, whatever.

01:39:49.000 To me, I'm like...

01:39:52.000 Hey, if that's the way you want to spend your life, writing for whatever late night show, fill in the blank, you can do that.

01:40:00.000 There's a lot of guys who could have gone, if they were here or they were in Hollywood in the late 90s, they could have gone down that road.

01:40:08.000 The brilliant guys today, like Schultz or Giannis Papas or a lot of these guys, they could have been seduced.

01:40:14.000 I don't think they would have been.

01:40:15.000 Right.

01:40:16.000 Some guys of that level could have been seduced.

01:40:20.000 Right.

01:40:20.000 And drawn into the...

01:40:21.000 And then it's like, hey, you're getting $100,000 an episode to be on some terrible fucking sitcom where they have laugh tracks. 0.99

01:40:28.000 Right. 0.99

01:40:30.000 And there's no freedom.

01:40:31.000 There's no creative freedom.

01:40:32.000 Oh my God, it's death.

01:40:33.000 There's a few of those shows that are still on the air, and I watch them sometimes now.

01:40:38.000 But they're for someone, right? 0.80

01:40:40.000 Those shows are for people whose brains are broken.

01:40:44.000 OxyContin.

01:40:45.000 That's a large proportion of America.

01:40:47.000 So they have to have entertainment, too.

01:40:51.000 There's a lot of people out there that are not intellectually able to listen.

01:40:56.000 You talked about Weinstein for three hours. 1.00

01:40:57.000 They want to watch something stupid. 1.00

01:41:00.000 And they want to watch the show, you know, let them have it. 1.00

01:41:04.000 Yeah.

01:41:04.000 Well, listen, I'm not saying they should stop doing those shows.

01:41:08.000 Right.

01:41:09.000 I mean, listen, man, you should still make children's books.

01:41:11.000 Yes.

01:41:12.000 That's 100% right.

01:41:13.000 It's 100% right. 1.00

01:41:15.000 Modern art, you know, you want to go watch a bunch of fucking paint splatter on the wall with a fucking... 0.99

01:41:20.000 I feel like you and Austin is almost hilarious because it's almost like a crazy movie where you are teaching blue-haired Antifa people to be comedians. 0.99

01:41:30.000 There's a lot of really wild, far, whacked out people here and there's something hilarious about you telling a fat activist that – That they should hold it down on the waffles and write more.

01:41:45.000 There's something hilarious about you.

01:41:48.000 Well, you could do both.

01:41:48.000 You could do both, yeah.

01:41:51.000 I've loved performing here.

01:41:52.000 I love it.

01:41:53.000 And I'm excited to see what happens with it.

01:41:56.000 This is going to get crazy, Tim.

01:41:58.000 Yeah.

01:41:58.000 This place is going to be crazy.

01:42:00.000 No, no.

01:42:01.000 It's 100% going to be crazy.

01:42:02.000 No, no.

01:42:02.000 I think it'll get crazy.

01:42:03.000 If I stay alive.

01:42:04.000 If I can stay alive, it's going to get crazy.

01:42:07.000 100%.

01:42:08.000 I'm all in.

01:42:09.000 I got plans.

01:42:10.000 I'm excited.

01:42:12.000 I told you those plans.

01:42:13.000 You've seen some pictures.

01:42:14.000 I'm excited. 0.98

01:42:15.000 We got some shit happening. 0.98

01:42:16.000 It's going to be crazy. 0.98

01:42:17.000 I can't wait to announce all the things that we have happening.

01:42:21.000 It's crazy.

01:42:22.000 It's going to get...

01:42:23.000 Buckwild.

01:42:24.000 It's going to be crazy.

01:42:25.000 Yeah.

01:42:26.000 And Segura's already moved here. 1.00

01:42:27.000 He's already bought a house here.

01:42:28.000 A lot of people are opening clubs.

01:42:29.000 Hinchcliffe moved here.

01:42:30.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:42:31.000 Cap City's reopening.

01:42:33.000 Mark Grossman from Helium is involved in that.

01:42:35.000 Yeah.

01:42:35.000 All that stuff is very good, man.

01:42:37.000 There's going to be a lot of different options for people that want to do...

01:42:40.000 Yeah, and I'm going to help everybody.

01:42:42.000 I'm not about just for me or if I open a club, my club.

01:42:48.000 I'm not about any of that.

01:42:49.000 I'm about, let's go, everybody.

01:42:52.000 Come on down. 0.94

01:42:52.000 Let's go. 0.94

01:42:53.000 I want to suck as many people into this vortex as possible. 0.98

01:42:56.000 That are funny. 0.97

01:42:57.000 Yeah.

01:42:58.000 That want to work hard.

01:42:59.000 And then the people that are thinking about it, like, you know, I'm struggling.

01:43:03.000 I'm doing open mic in Kansas City.

01:43:05.000 It's not working out.

01:43:06.000 Come on down. 0.94

01:43:08.000 Right.

01:43:08.000 We can do this.

01:43:09.000 Yeah, absolutely. 0.99

01:43:11.000 This is a fucking wild place, man. 1.00

01:43:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:43:14.000 You know, and this place is this weird spot that used to be run by the Comanches 150 years ago. 0.98

01:43:22.000 Right.

01:43:22.000 You have to realize how nuts that is.

01:43:23.000 That's crazy.

01:43:24.000 Yeah.

01:43:24.000 That's crazy.

01:43:25.000 150 years ago, like, if you were a white person and you were walking down the road here, you would get shot with an arrow. 0.99

01:43:32.000 Right.

01:43:32.000 Well, there's a lot of people here that want that to be the case now.

01:43:35.000 Yeah.

01:43:36.000 A lot of people want to bring that commission.

01:43:38.000 It'll be interesting to see.

01:43:40.000 It's going to be interesting to see what happens in New York and L.A. and when the quarantine's over and people are out there vaccinated, things are better.

01:43:47.000 Those cities I'd like to see get back.

01:43:49.000 They might not even have to get vaccinated.

01:43:50.000 You see what the numbers on COVID are?

01:43:52.000 They're low.

01:43:53.000 Well, it's Biden became president.

01:43:55.000 They're dropping.

01:43:55.000 COVID was really excited about Biden and Harris.

01:43:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:43:58.000 They got dropped.

01:43:59.000 Well, COVID... COVID's over.

01:44:02.000 Yeah, I mean, things are dropping, and we're ready to go back to work.

01:44:06.000 They've dropped by 50%.

01:44:07.000 The cases have dropped by 50%.

01:44:09.000 That's suspect.

01:44:10.000 No!

01:44:10.000 Stop being a conspiracy theorist.

01:44:12.000 It's fine.

01:44:13.000 That's a little suspect.

01:44:15.000 No, no, no.

01:44:16.000 I'm not even a little worried.

01:44:18.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:44:18.000 Well, no, I'm excited.

01:44:19.000 I'm back out on the road, and I'm getting back to doing these things, and hopefully these clubs start opening at a larger capacity.

01:44:28.000 My favorite is you tweeted about this.

01:44:30.000 The people that have never worked at these clubs literally don't work.

01:44:35.000 And they're mad that people have to do stand-up.

01:44:38.000 You'd think if comedy, you'd think if you went to be in finance and it didn't work, you'd quit and leave.

01:44:44.000 But it's like the idea of somebody just walking around Goldman Sachs complaining and going, these people, just go away.

01:44:51.000 But they're on Twitter and they're angry that they haven't built a fan base.

01:44:55.000 They didn't work hard.

01:44:55.000 They spent their time drinking, drugging.

01:44:58.000 Whatever they did, they just didn't take advantage of any opportunities.

01:45:01.000 So they're participating in conversations that are meant for people that are actually earning a living.

01:45:07.000 At this thing.

01:45:08.000 And they're not.

01:45:09.000 And never have.

01:45:10.000 And they're still trying to participate in those conversations. 1.00

01:45:14.000 So to me, it's like, fucking nutby. 0.98

01:45:16.000 If I started talking to UFC fighters, well, I don't actually think it's... 0.99

01:45:19.000 Like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:45:21.000 You have no... 1.00

01:45:23.000 Yeah.

01:45:23.000 Place in this conversation.

01:45:24.000 Well, they're allowed to have their opinions, but they need to understand that we understand where their opinions are coming from.

01:45:31.000 Right.

01:45:31.000 Their opinions are coming from, they don't, look, when I was 21 years old and I was an open miker, I remember wanting people to bomb, and it's shameful.

01:45:41.000 It's a shameful feeling.

01:45:41.000 Oh, you don't want them to bomb anymore?

01:45:43.000 No.

01:45:43.000 It's so fun!

01:45:45.000 Are you crazy? 0.88

01:45:46.000 I wanted people to bomb that were going on stage because I wanted to feel good about me. 0.99

01:45:50.000 Dude, there's nothing better.

01:45:51.000 I was jealous.

01:45:52.000 We had a guy in Long Island once that gave me and my friend a 25-minute discussion.

01:45:56.000 He literally lectured us about how comedy worked, and then he went out and bombed horribly, and it was the greatest thing ever.

01:46:01.000 And then he walked back in, he looked at us, and he went, they were good.

01:46:04.000 And then he just walked out of the green room.

01:46:05.000 Because the level of delusion is just...

01:46:09.000 It's enviable.

01:46:10.000 There was a guy that I worked with back in the early days of my career, and he was the host of an open mic night.

01:46:16.000 And I went up and, you know, I had a pretty decent set, but I guess I swore a lot.

01:46:20.000 Right. 0.99

01:46:20.000 And he's like, ladies and gentlemen, Joe fucking Rogan! 0.99

01:46:24.000 And he goes, can he say fuck enough? 1.00

01:46:26.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:46:27.000 And so offstage, the guy pulls me aside and lectures me.

01:46:30.000 And he tells me, and he goes, he had this bit. 0.99

01:46:33.000 And the bit had the word fuck in it. 0.99

01:46:35.000 And he had to remove the word fuck because he realized that the word fuck was hampering his bit. 0.99

01:46:42.000 And I said, I think the only way that bit works is if you say fuck right there. 0.99

01:46:46.000 Because it shows that you're actually angry. 0.99

01:46:48.000 And that's how people talk when they're really angry about things.

01:46:50.000 And he goes, if you want to work...

01:46:53.000 And he goes, you remove those words because those words are a problem.

01:46:56.000 You're getting laughs now?

01:46:59.000 He goes, but you want to be a professional?

01:47:01.000 He goes, this is not how you do it.

01:47:03.000 And he was like really dicky to me.

01:47:05.000 And I recognized at the time, I mean, he was one of those guys who would go on stage with like a gas station attendant jacket on.

01:47:12.000 Right.

01:47:12.000 You know those guys would do that?

01:47:13.000 With the name tag on.

01:47:15.000 They would wear the wacky clothes.

01:47:17.000 He was trying hard to be a funny guy with striped socks on.

01:47:22.000 I'm wacky!

01:47:23.000 And then, I shouldn't have done this, but years later, I became successful. 0.98

01:47:29.000 Killed his family. 0.69

01:47:29.000 I was on a sitcom. 0.69

01:47:31.000 I was working with him and he was the host and I was the headliner.

01:47:35.000 And I said, I want you to go on stage and I want you to tell all those people about all these credits that I have.

01:47:42.000 That you don't.

01:47:43.000 Right.

01:47:44.000 And then I want you to tell them how you gave me really terrible advice when I was an open-miker and made me feel bad.

01:47:49.000 Go ahead, do that.

01:47:50.000 Yeah.

01:47:50.000 And he looked at me like this, like...

01:47:52.000 Yeah.

01:47:53.000 And I was like, that's what you did.

01:47:54.000 I was an open-miker. 0.97

01:47:55.000 You made me feel shitty because you were bombing. 0.96

01:47:57.000 Right. 1.00

01:47:58.000 Your life was awful.

01:47:59.000 Right. 0.89

01:47:59.000 And you didn't like the fact that you were this, like, mediocre, like, middling sort of local stand-up comic. 0.89

01:48:07.000 And you were suppressing all these other voices.

01:48:09.000 Yeah.

01:48:09.000 And that guy now is Bill de Blasio.

01:48:11.000 So you see how it all works out in the middle of nowhere.

01:48:15.000 Yeah, it was really weird.

01:48:16.000 But he literally said to me, I said, I go, but the guys that I've always liked are dirty.

01:48:22.000 I go, the guys that I've always liked have been like Sam Kinison and Dice Clay.

01:48:26.000 He's like, you're not Kinison.

01:48:28.000 You're not Dice.

01:48:29.000 This is what he said to me.

01:48:29.000 And I was like, but they weren't Dice.

01:48:32.000 They weren't Kinison when they first started.

01:48:34.000 And he's like, all right, you don't want to listen?

01:48:36.000 You don't want to listen?

01:48:37.000 Fine.

01:48:38.000 Fine. 0.94

01:48:38.000 It was a real shitty moment. 0.94

01:48:40.000 The Patrice doc is coming out on Comedy Central, and I want to watch that.

01:48:44.000 I haven't watched anything on Comedy Central in 10 years, and probably won't again after this.

01:48:48.000 But that's a guy that you knew.

01:48:51.000 I loved him.

01:48:52.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:48:52.000 I mean, he's like, for the guys that I'm around, and the New York guys that we kind of came up, he's just our idea of what a true, pure comic genius is, like a guy that doesn't give a fuck. 0.98

01:49:04.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:49:04.000 Well, he really stated his opinions. 0.98

01:49:07.000 He didn't compromise his opinions to make people like him.

01:49:14.000 He said things that you would agree with if you were alone with him having dinner and you would laugh.

01:49:20.000 And then he did that in front of giant groups of people.

01:49:22.000 And some people were like, whoa, what? 0.99

01:49:25.000 He'd be like, I don't give a fuck! 0.99

01:49:28.000 And he didn't. 1.00

01:49:29.000 He was free, but he also didn't give a fuck about his health, unfortunately. 0.98

01:49:32.000 He was diabetic, and he didn't take care of himself. 0.98

01:49:36.000 Now he's gone, but he left behind a legacy of purity.

01:49:41.000 And there's room for these wild people.

01:49:45.000 And this is the love that I have for Joey Diaz, right?

01:49:47.000 This purity.

01:49:50.000 And for Joey, watching him struggle with people suppressing him.

01:49:56.000 And I had an agent at one point in time that told me not to take him on the road with me.

01:50:00.000 I'm like, it's really bad for your career.

01:50:02.000 This guy, he's not talented. 1.00

01:50:05.000 I go, you're crazy. 0.97

01:50:06.000 I go, I've been doing comedy for 11 years. 0.90

01:50:08.000 This guy's the funniest person I've ever met in my life.

01:50:10.000 He makes me laugh harder than anybody.

01:50:11.000 I don't know what to tell you.

01:50:13.000 I'm like, I'm not listening to you.

01:50:14.000 I had this conversation with a former agent that I had.

01:50:18.000 And he experienced that every step of the way because he was the guy that made everyone laugh in the green room.

01:50:25.000 And he would go on stage and he would...

01:50:27.000 In the beginning, people had a hard time figuring out who he was. 0.99

01:50:32.000 And then somewhere along the line, he didn't give a fuck anymore. 0.98

01:50:35.000 He thought he was going to get a sitcom or a movie and he was tentative at first. 0.99

01:50:39.000 And then something clicked in Joey.

01:50:43.000 It was like in the late 90s, where he went from being a guy who had really inconsistent performances on stage to being a guy where the comics would go to the back of the room and sit down and watch when he would go on stage. 0.99

01:50:54.000 And he didn't give a fuck anymore. 0.97

01:50:56.000 He figured out what made people love him when he was younger, when he was doing comedy to prisoners, literally when he was in jail. 0.99

01:51:04.000 They would go, Coco, get on stage!

01:51:06.000 And he would go on stage in prison and make everybody laugh.

01:51:09.000 And he figured out how to do that in front of all of us.

01:51:12.000 And then he became...

01:51:13.000 And I realized as a person who was...

01:51:16.000 When I met Joey, I was on news radio and then the Fear Factor days.

01:51:20.000 I'm like, I'm going to champion him.

01:51:22.000 I'm going to...

01:51:23.000 This is what I like.

01:51:24.000 I like wild people.

01:51:26.000 And this is as wild as it gets.

01:51:29.000 I'm like, I need to get this guy in front of as many people as I can.

01:51:33.000 And tell them.

01:51:34.000 Yeah.

01:51:34.000 Because this is what comedy...

01:51:35.000 Comedy is not always what you like.

01:51:39.000 It's what's...

01:51:39.000 There's a lot of people out there that love a lot of comics.

01:51:44.000 You're allowed.

01:51:45.000 It's like music.

01:51:46.000 I'm not a jazz fan, but I get that people love it.

01:51:50.000 People that I'm friends with love.

01:51:51.000 Alonzo Bowden, he does jazz tours.

01:51:53.000 I love Alonzo.

01:51:55.000 I don't get it. 0.99

01:51:55.000 I listen to it and it's like making a bunch of fucking noise. 0.99

01:51:58.000 I don't get it. 0.99

01:52:01.000 People love it.

01:52:02.000 They love it.

01:52:02.000 You're allowed to love that.

01:52:04.000 You're allowed to love fucking Reese Witherspoon movies. 1.00

01:52:08.000 You're allowed to. 1.00

01:52:09.000 Right.

01:52:09.000 Yeah, you're allowed.

01:52:11.000 She's great.

01:52:12.000 She's very talented.

01:52:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:52:14.000 You're allowed to love wild shit, too. 1.00

01:52:16.000 We don't live that long, Tim Dillon. 1.00

01:52:18.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

01:52:19.000 I'm 53. I would like to see a romantic comedy with Reese Witherspoon and Joey Diaz.

01:52:25.000 I'm allowed to want that, too. 1.00

01:52:26.000 Where she just wants coke and dick. 1.00

01:52:28.000 Yeah, I'm allowed to want to watch a Jersey love story between Joey Diaz and Reese Witherspoon. 0.99

01:52:34.000 And Scarlett Johansson can play Joey Diaz. 0.97

01:52:36.000 She can play an alien who becomes Joey Diaz.

01:52:39.000 Yeah, why not?

01:52:40.000 Yeah, there's room for everybody.

01:52:43.000 And I think that one of the things that's important is it's important to be able to criticize things that you don't like because there's parts of it that are valid.

01:52:52.000 But then it's important to just go, who cares?

01:52:55.000 Yeah.

01:52:56.000 Right.

01:52:56.000 It's okay.

01:52:57.000 It's okay.

01:52:58.000 There's got to be a give and a take.

01:52:59.000 And people, I think, and I think the Trump era is over.

01:53:03.000 People are now going to start, I think, hopefully chilling out.

01:53:08.000 I think it's coming.

01:53:09.000 I really do think it's coming, whether people want to admit it or not.

01:53:12.000 And I think people are just going to realize that, like, as you said, life is too short to fight with everybody all the time about everything.

01:53:20.000 We've got to get away from the politics and get into something that's a little more important.

01:53:25.000 For sure.

01:53:27.000 I think people like you are very important.

01:53:31.000 I know you're right here, but I'm going to say this to your face.

01:53:34.000 You have this ability to mock everything constantly.

01:53:39.000 And I think that's critical because one of the saddest things is these comedians that have become serious political commentators with no sense of self-deprecation.

01:53:52.000 They want to be taken seriously.

01:53:54.000 It's absurd and it's scary.

01:53:59.000 It's understandable.

01:54:01.000 Yeah, it's understandable.

01:54:02.000 I think at a certain point people just get sick of...

01:54:08.000 Wherever they're at, they're like, I want to do something else.

01:54:11.000 And they're like, hey, this is the route to getting attention and this is the route to being important.

01:54:16.000 I want to be...

01:54:17.000 I want to write...

01:54:19.000 When Chelsea Handler was tweeting about espionage, I was like...

01:54:22.000 Was she?

01:54:23.000 She was tweeting about, like, Russiagate at one point.

01:54:26.000 Like, Trump being a Russian asset.

01:54:28.000 And I'm like...

01:54:28.000 But did she ever, like, apologize for being...

01:54:32.000 But it's also like, you don't know what you're talking about.

01:54:34.000 Like, you've never read a book about the CIA or the FSB or the KGB. You don't know what you're saying.

01:54:40.000 You're talking.

01:54:41.000 You're just spouting off. 0.99

01:54:43.000 So to me, it's like, I... And I've read books on those things, and I still know it's hard to know what the fuck's going on in that world. 0.99

01:54:50.000 So the fact that you have written books about, like, whatever, and they're funny books about fucking midgets and shitting yourself, that's great. 1.00

01:54:57.000 But then to go and say, and by the way, here's also my take on counterintelligence. 0.99

01:55:03.000 I say this is a little wacky.

01:55:06.000 It's a little wild.

01:55:07.000 You're out of your depth.

01:55:08.000 You're out of your depth.

01:55:09.000 But being a famous person is intoxicating.

01:55:12.000 Yes.

01:55:12.000 Right?

01:55:13.000 Yes.

01:55:13.000 And other people call upon you.

01:55:15.000 They want to find out what your opinions are on things.

01:55:17.000 Yeah.

01:55:18.000 But, you know, you've got to tell them, I don't have any.

01:55:21.000 Yeah.

01:55:22.000 It's hard.

01:55:23.000 It's hard because you're like, oh, yeah, they want to know my opinions.

01:55:27.000 I must be important.

01:55:28.000 Well, John Mulaney did this thing on SNL that was really, really funny.

01:55:32.000 When he did this thing where he's like, oh, white guy's gonna win no matter what happens. 1.00

01:55:35.000 And then people were like, fuck you! 1.00

01:55:37.000 And then he had to come out and go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. 1.00

01:55:40.000 I'm not for Trump.

01:55:41.000 But he was making a deeper point. 0.99

01:55:43.000 He was illustrating a larger truth that was funny, and he fucking, like... 0.96

01:55:47.000 Had to then come back and go, yeah, yeah, yeah, well, I actually... 0.96

01:55:50.000 So it's like with the Weinstein joke, it's like I'm not going to explain the joke.

01:55:54.000 So it's like you can be offended or you can not be offended, but at the end of the day, it's like I'm not going to explain the joke to you.

01:56:03.000 Either you can get on board or not be on board, and you don't have to like me.

01:56:06.000 It doesn't matter to me. 1.00

01:56:07.000 It's my job to make fun of shit. 0.99

01:56:09.000 And if you want a society where it's only the targets that you approve, you sound a lot like those people on the left that you criticize. 0.99

01:56:16.000 Yeah.

01:56:16.000 So, and that's the problem.

01:56:18.000 Or on the right.

01:56:19.000 Whoever.

01:56:20.000 They're all sensitive.

01:56:21.000 Yeah, everybody.

01:56:22.000 Yeah, it's an apolitical problem.

01:56:25.000 Yeah.

01:56:25.000 I like John Mulaney.

01:56:27.000 I've met him a couple of times.

01:56:28.000 Yeah.

01:56:28.000 He's a very nice guy, and I think he's a very talented comic.

01:56:31.000 Yeah.

01:56:31.000 But when I secretly, when he, not even secretly, when he had his problems with coke and booze, I went, oh!

01:56:43.000 Okay, he's normal.

01:56:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:56:45.000 There's a part of me that was like, he's one of us.

01:56:47.000 Yeah, he struggles.

01:56:48.000 Yeah, he's got things.

01:56:49.000 Well, he's also, he's got, again, he's leaning into love as much as Rush Limbaugh.

01:56:54.000 Right.

01:56:55.000 Not in the same way, not in a hateful way, but he's, you know, he's this, he's not being clean about the demons.

01:57:03.000 Right.

01:57:03.000 Right?

01:57:04.000 Yeah, well, that's not, yeah.

01:57:04.000 When is Jerry Seinfeld going to come out?

01:57:06.000 When is he going to be fucking doing bath salts and punching people? 0.99

01:57:11.000 I don't think so. 0.99

01:57:13.000 I don't know.

01:57:14.000 Doing them out in the Hamptons?

01:57:15.000 But you know what I'm saying?

01:57:16.000 It's the same thing.

01:57:17.000 When someone's that tightly wound or put together, yeah, there's a lot.

01:57:22.000 I get nervous.

01:57:23.000 There's a lot, yeah.

01:57:23.000 I get nervous.

01:57:24.000 I'm a lot more comfortable with people that kind of let it hang out a little bit.

01:57:27.000 Yeah, me too.

01:57:28.000 But I appreciate the...

01:57:29.000 I look at those guys that are kind of like CIA agents where it's like they are very curated images and there's something I... Respect.

01:57:41.000 I don't know if it's the right word, but it fascinates me that I watch it.

01:57:45.000 We know people...

01:57:46.000 Listen, there's a lot of people who are out there that are...

01:57:50.000 Whether they're...

01:57:51.000 I don't know if it's living a lie or living...

01:57:52.000 There's a lot of people that are just not letting their full self be known.

01:57:55.000 Yeah.

01:57:55.000 And that's okay.

01:57:56.000 That's a choice.

01:57:57.000 Because a lot of people go, I don't want to get famous as me.

01:57:59.000 I want to get famous as this version of me.

01:58:02.000 And I'm going to make it up.

01:58:03.000 Well, there's also things like pressure from your family.

01:58:06.000 Of course.

01:58:07.000 When I was a kid, this is a weird confession, but it's true. 0.94

01:58:12.000 I used to be really uncomfortable with girls that I was dating that came from healthy families.

01:58:17.000 Right.

01:58:18.000 Right.

01:58:19.000 I wanted girls from single moms. 1.00

01:58:21.000 I wanted girls from divorced families. 0.99

01:58:23.000 Not that I wanted them, but they made sense to me.

01:58:25.000 Right.

01:58:26.000 Like, when I would date a girl and she had, like, a really healthy mother and father and they were still together and they were dating since high school, I'd be like, ugh, they're gonna hate me.

01:58:37.000 You wanted someone who could have similar experiences to you.

01:58:40.000 Well...

01:58:42.000 Alternative chaos.

01:58:44.000 When I was 21, I had this girlfriend that her dad was a doctor, and he really had a really hard time with me being a comic.

01:58:53.000 I was just starting out.

01:58:56.000 And he was like, what are the odds that he makes it?

01:58:59.000 That was what she said.

01:59:00.000 I'm like, we're 21. Do you not understand?

01:59:03.000 Right.

01:59:05.000 But that's, yeah, I mean, those are those, some parents are really, it's a tough, you know.

01:59:11.000 It's tough because, you know, his idea was like you got to be able to pay your water bill.

01:59:15.000 Right.

01:59:16.000 He's not wrong. 0.53

01:59:17.000 He's not wrong. 0.53

01:59:18.000 He's not wrong. 0.53

01:59:18.000 You do have to be able to pay. 0.53

01:59:19.000 But you also, you don't want to wish that you were a baseball player and just sell insurance forever and just watch baseball and just dream and wish.

01:59:30.000 Right.

01:59:31.000 But you also don't want to go around your neighborhood going, I'm a baseball player.

01:59:35.000 And everyone goes, no, you're not.

01:59:37.000 Are you out of your mind?

01:59:38.000 You go, yeah, I'm a baseball player, and I'm in a baseball Facebook group, and I have opinions about when we open the stadiums back up.

01:59:48.000 Or, I'm a comic, and then you're like, well, where do you work?

01:59:52.000 Well, I worked at the comedy store.

01:59:53.000 Like, okay.

01:59:55.000 I don't know you.

01:59:56.000 How do you work at the comedy store?

01:59:57.000 Like, oh, I did a spot in the belly room. 0.99

01:59:58.000 Oh, you did a bringer show in the belly room. 0.69

02:00:00.000 Yeah.

02:00:00.000 That, like, a homeless person could do.

02:00:02.000 You get found out.

02:00:03.000 My favorite thing is from Long Island, where I grew up.

02:00:05.000 People's credits were physical places.

02:00:09.000 Like, they would go, you've seen this guy in Atlantic City.

02:00:12.000 Please bring up whoever.

02:00:14.000 Yeah.

02:00:14.000 He opened for...

02:00:15.000 Or they'd just go, Borgata.

02:00:17.000 You know this guy from Borgata.

02:00:19.000 And they'd bring him up.

02:00:20.000 So it was like, Long Island had the saddest credits ever.

02:00:24.000 Of any place I've ever...

02:00:25.000 It would be a guy who was brought up and they'd go, he runs a show every Tuesday night at Ravioli's on Route 110. Please bring up this guy.

02:00:32.000 And then he'd get up and it would just be tough.

02:00:35.000 Were you around when Jimmy's Comedy Alley was around?

02:00:38.000 No.

02:00:38.000 I started in like 2011. Oh.

02:00:41.000 Yeah.

02:00:41.000 What the hell is Jimmy's Comedy Alley?

02:00:43.000 You ever heard of it?

02:00:44.000 No.

02:00:45.000 No, it was in...

02:00:46.000 I'm sure there's...

02:00:48.000 Logan Island had like 20 clubs.

02:00:50.000 It was a bowling alley that became a comedy club in...

02:00:55.000 God, when I was there, it was 92?

02:01:00.000 93?

02:01:01.000 Yeah.

02:01:01.000 Somewhere around there.

02:01:02.000 And there was this dude, I wish I could remember his last name.

02:01:05.000 His name was Keith.

02:01:06.000 Yeah.

02:01:06.000 And he was really funny, man.

02:01:08.000 He had potential.

02:01:09.000 But he fell into this kind of...

02:01:11.000 Keith Anthony.

02:01:11.000 Yes.

02:01:12.000 Keith Anthony is one of the best out of Long Island.

02:01:15.000 And he...

02:01:16.000 He fell into this Bill Hicks thing.

02:01:17.000 Yeah.

02:01:18.000 He drove all the way to California in a Cadillac with no roof.

02:01:21.000 Yeah.

02:01:22.000 But it didn't have no roof like it was a convertible.

02:01:24.000 Right.

02:01:24.000 Like someone sawed the roof off of an old Cadillac.

02:01:27.000 Oh, interesting.

02:01:27.000 And he drove there in the rain.

02:01:29.000 He gave me great advice, though.

02:01:31.000 What did he say?

02:01:31.000 He said, move to New York City.

02:01:33.000 He goes, if you don't move to New York City, he goes, everything you do is a joke.

02:01:36.000 He goes, in Long Island, nothing will ever matter.

02:01:38.000 He goes, if you want to make it at this, move to the city.

02:01:40.000 And he goes, comics get seen in classes, so you'll come up with other funny people.

02:01:45.000 And he goes, you've got to be in the city.

02:01:47.000 And I was going to go kind of anyway, but he really made me move much sooner.

02:01:51.000 And he was like, this is how you do it.

02:01:53.000 So I'm forever grateful to him.

02:01:54.000 He's a beast of a funny guy.

02:01:56.000 Where is he?

02:01:57.000 I think in Long Island.

02:01:58.000 He came up with me.

02:02:00.000 Yeah.

02:02:00.000 No, he was on a list of top eight comics to watch in the 90s or something.

02:02:04.000 Yeah, I met him in 92. Yeah.

02:02:06.000 I met him at Jimmy's Comedy Alley.

02:02:08.000 Okay.

02:02:08.000 And the lady that...

02:02:09.000 I think it was in Queens?

02:02:12.000 Google that.

02:02:13.000 It was a literal bowling alley in Queens that my manager, Jeff, his friend ran, and she was the manager of him, of Keith.

02:02:26.000 Right.

02:02:27.000 And I remember seeing him, and I'm like, oh, this guy's like...

02:02:31.000 He's daring.

02:02:32.000 He's risk-taking.

02:02:33.000 We became friends, and then I came out to LA in 94, and he came out shortly after, maybe 95. It just didn't work.

02:02:44.000 It's tough.

02:02:45.000 I was on stage.

02:02:47.000 I was in the back of the room, rather.

02:02:49.000 I did my set, and he was on. 0.98

02:02:52.000 He was on stage, and he was saying something, and someone just fucking called him out, man. 1.00

02:02:58.000 Some guy just yelled out, what are you saying is bullshit? 0.99

02:03:01.000 You're just trying to be cool. 0.99

02:03:03.000 And it was this weird moment.

02:03:05.000 I didn't see him around after that. 1.00

02:03:08.000 I don't know if it contributed to it or if it was one of those things where he just decided LA's just too full of shit. 1.00

02:03:15.000 It's too industry. 0.99

02:03:17.000 Because he was like this sort of Avant-garde.

02:03:20.000 He read a lot and he wanted his comedy to mean something.

02:03:24.000 Which was interesting about that he would do really well in Long Island because those audiences aren't the smartest people, but he would really always do really well.

02:03:30.000 Well, he did really well when I saw him.

02:03:32.000 Yeah, because he was very funny.

02:03:33.000 I mean, there was a lot of those guys.

02:03:34.000 He was, I think, the most, you know, like as you said, like...

02:03:40.000 Intellectual of the group of people that were doing it.

02:03:43.000 It wasn't just funny.

02:03:44.000 It was funny, but he had meaning in what he was trying to do.

02:03:49.000 That Long Island is kind of like a pit.

02:03:52.000 That you can fall into if you don't stay out.

02:03:55.000 Is he still in Long Island?

02:03:57.000 I don't know if he's still doing stand-up.

02:03:58.000 I don't know what he's doing.

02:03:59.000 I mean, but every time I saw the guy, he would crush.

02:04:02.000 He was a very nice guy.

02:04:03.000 He was intense, but very nice.

02:04:05.000 Yeah, I agree.

02:04:06.000 And would give good advice, and was very intense, and was a cool dude in general.

02:04:13.000 We were in the same class, so he didn't give me any advice, but we were always cool with each other.

02:04:17.000 We were always friendly.

02:04:18.000 I always asked him, I said, what...

02:04:21.000 What differentiates the guys who, like, figure it out?

02:04:23.000 And he goes, you gotta get out of here.

02:04:25.000 I'm like, you're right.

02:04:27.000 That's sort of true, but sort of not.

02:04:29.000 Well, it was the baseline.

02:04:30.000 It was the least you had to do was go to New York, right?

02:04:33.000 The least you had to do was go to a city.

02:04:34.000 You're not gonna make it from Long Island.

02:04:36.000 Well, you can, but what you have to do is be autonomous.

02:04:40.000 You have to be someone who's not connected to the local...

02:04:44.000 Scene.

02:04:45.000 Meaning that you don't do local comedy.

02:04:47.000 Right.

02:04:48.000 You don't do comedy for them.

02:04:49.000 You do comedy for you.

02:04:50.000 Yeah, but still, you have to have a platform, and that was New York.

02:04:54.000 New York had all the hot clubs. 0.99

02:04:56.000 It had all the good agents and managers and bookers and all the bullshit. 0.98

02:05:00.000 You had to get known there, which I was trying to do. 0.98

02:05:02.000 You needed both.

02:05:04.000 Yeah, it's good to do both, but all the people I know who started out in Long Island fell into that hole.

02:05:09.000 Is he around?

02:05:10.000 Let's call him.

02:05:11.000 What?

02:05:13.000 He stormed the Capitol last week, probably.

02:05:16.000 Yeah, he's got horns on.

02:05:18.000 Wolverine mask.

02:05:19.000 But he was a really funny dude.

02:05:21.000 A lot of the people that I started with in Long Island just stayed there.

02:05:24.000 They got passed at a club and they never...

02:05:26.000 Yeah, there he is.

02:05:27.000 I'm trying to find a Twitter Instagram.

02:05:29.000 What is this?

02:05:30.000 It's like a podcast he did.

02:05:31.000 That's Carrie Kravis, who's funny.

02:05:33.000 She's out of Long Island, too.

02:05:35.000 Matt Burke's a funny guy from Long Island.

02:05:36.000 That's him on the right?

02:05:38.000 Yeah.

02:05:38.000 Wow.

02:05:39.000 What did he look like when you knew him?

02:05:41.000 Like a younger version of that guy.

02:05:43.000 Yeah.

02:05:44.000 And so he's still out there.

02:05:46.000 I think so.

02:05:47.000 He had a show last year.

02:05:48.000 I don't know if he's done shows during the pandemic, but I've been trying to find...

02:05:51.000 He was a good dude, though.

02:05:53.000 He's always nice to me.

02:05:54.000 Always nice to me.

02:05:55.000 And I admired him.

02:05:56.000 I admired what he was doing.

02:05:58.000 And again, we're talking about 94. I was 27 years old.

02:06:01.000 He was probably similar age.

02:06:04.000 It's like sometimes people, they want to be Jack Kerouac.

02:06:10.000 They want to be Bill Hicks.

02:06:11.000 They want to be this...

02:06:13.000 And they try to figure out what's the way to be.

02:06:15.000 And there's a few others that weren't nearly as successful as him that I could name, but I don't want to be cruel.

02:06:20.000 They just want to be artists.

02:06:22.000 And instead, they want to sort of mimic.

02:06:25.000 And a lot of us mimic people in the beginning that you think, like, this is what Dave Attell sounds like.

02:06:33.000 Right.

02:06:33.000 He's a comedian.

02:06:34.000 I want to be a comedian, too.

02:06:36.000 Right.

02:06:37.000 And you sort of fall into this trap of mimicking people that you idolize.

02:06:42.000 Whether it's idealistically, stylistically, whether it's ideologically.

02:06:48.000 You want to be someone who has the same impact on the audience that other people have had an impact on you.

02:06:56.000 And it's hard to just be yourself.

02:06:59.000 Like there's these weird gauntlets that you have to run.

02:07:02.000 There's weird obstacles that you have to get over.

02:07:04.000 And I think this is probably true in any art form.

02:07:07.000 Whether it's in singing, in music, or even painting.

02:07:12.000 Anything.

02:07:13.000 Like, you have to find out who you are.

02:07:14.000 And a lot of times in the beginning, you're just faking it.

02:07:17.000 Of course.

02:07:18.000 You're mimicking other people with your own ideas.

02:07:20.000 But you're mimicking, like, how would Lenny Bruce talk about this subject?

02:07:25.000 Yeah.

02:07:25.000 Well, I think that's true.

02:07:27.000 And I think that, like...

02:07:29.000 It's a long journey to figuring out how to be comfortable as yourself, not only in life, but then you have to do it on stage in front of hundreds or thousands of people.

02:07:38.000 That's crazy, right?

02:07:39.000 So how many people are comfortable being themselves on Earth?

02:07:43.000 Many people are not comfortable being themselves at Geico.

02:07:46.000 So the idea that they're going to do it in front of a room full of people is tough.

02:07:50.000 Fahim talked about that on the podcast last week.

02:07:52.000 He said, I had to figure out how to get comfortable being observed.

02:07:58.000 Interesting.

02:07:58.000 And he was talking about being at Starbucks, putting cream and sugar in his coffee and worrying that there's a bunch of people waiting.

02:08:05.000 He's like, I can take the time to put the cream.

02:08:08.000 It's just like, it's a normal thing.

02:08:10.000 Right.

02:08:11.000 I can't be worried about this.

02:08:12.000 Right.

02:08:12.000 This is normal.

02:08:13.000 I'm allowed to do this.

02:08:14.000 Right.

02:08:15.000 And there's like this really interesting observation because he's like, this thing of like, oh, just get out of here.

02:08:21.000 You know, like we all have this worry that people are sitting here going... 0.99

02:08:24.000 The fuck this guy's taking so much time with the cream? 0.99

02:08:28.000 See, I'm such a different person. 1.00

02:08:30.000 I just stand there with the cream.

02:08:31.000 I yell at the people.

02:08:32.000 I'm like, do you have chocolate milk?

02:08:34.000 I want to make a mug.

02:08:35.000 I'm such a different one.

02:08:36.000 I can't even relate.

02:08:37.000 I'm trying in my head to relate to that.

02:08:40.000 I guess this is why I've kicked off Airbnb and I'm being posted about in Facebook groups.

02:08:44.000 But God, if I never thought about the people behind me at the Starbucks line.

02:08:47.000 Do you don't have any empathy for the people behind you?

02:08:49.000 No.

02:08:52.000 No.

02:08:53.000 That's why you cut the line at Whataburger.

02:08:54.000 Listen, man, you gotta live.

02:08:56.000 It was an opening.

02:08:56.000 You took it.

02:08:57.000 Survival.

02:08:58.000 Yeah, I get it.

02:08:59.000 Fahim's a better person than me. 0.83

02:09:01.000 You're cool with admitting that, though?

02:09:03.000 Yeah.

02:09:05.000 What do I sell tickets to my shows and go, come see Gandhi? 1.00

02:09:09.000 What the fuck? 0.99

02:09:10.000 What's that about? 1.00

02:09:11.000 Come see the Dalai Lama.

02:09:13.000 Yeah, come see the Dalai Lama.

02:09:14.000 Come learn moral lessons with Tim Dillon.

02:09:17.000 It's crazy.

02:09:18.000 I'm not doing anything super horrible.

02:09:20.000 No.

02:09:21.000 I'm just, you know, listen.

02:09:22.000 Why are you comfortable with that, though?

02:09:24.000 What?

02:09:25.000 That.

02:09:25.000 I'm not doing anything super horrible.

02:09:30.000 This is what we're supposed to be.

02:09:32.000 We're not supposed to be like, I am the greatest person that's ever lived, which is why I get up on stage and demand 300 people pay attention to me every night because I'm selfless.

02:09:42.000 Yeah, that's a weird thing.

02:09:43.000 Because I'm a selfless, altruistic person.

02:09:46.000 I want everyone to pay attention to what I'm saying because I'm goofing.

02:09:49.000 And I'm not even saying anything that important.

02:09:50.000 I'm goofing around in a tent.

02:09:52.000 And I want you to watch me because I'm a selfless human being whose heart is full of love.

02:09:58.000 No, that's fake. 1.00

02:09:59.000 I hate that shit. 1.00

02:10:01.000 You can be a good person. 1.00

02:10:02.000 I'm good to my friends and people I respect and my family and whatever.

02:10:07.000 And I'm good to other people, too.

02:10:08.000 I'm not a bad person. 0.99

02:10:09.000 But I admit that, like everyone else, I have piece of shit tendencies and qualities. 0.99

02:10:16.000 And I admit that. 1.00

02:10:18.000 And then supposedly now you're supposed to lie about that so people respect you more? 0.99

02:10:23.000 It's fucking crazy. 0.99

02:10:24.000 But that doesn't work. 0.99

02:10:25.000 If you lie about it, nobody buys into that.

02:10:28.000 They like the fact that you admit it. 0.99

02:10:30.000 Yeah, I mean, I had a feud with my aunt on my show where I just called out my fucking aunt. 0.99

02:10:34.000 For what? 0.99

02:10:35.000 What'd she do?

02:10:36.000 She commented on my Instagram.

02:10:38.000 No. 0.99

02:10:38.000 Yeah, said some shit about like, oh, you don't respect your grandfather's legacy. 0.99

02:10:41.000 So I just went at her for 25 minutes on my podcast. 0.99

02:10:44.000 Yeah, and I just fucking aired out Dirty Laundry. 0.99

02:10:46.000 I got in a big fight with her on the fucking podcast. 0.99

02:10:48.000 I just screamed. 1.00

02:10:49.000 And it's like...

02:10:50.000 Did you ever have her call in?

02:10:51.000 No.

02:10:51.000 She would, too.

02:10:52.000 She's a QAnon retard. 1.00

02:10:54.000 She's like on Facebook... 1.00

02:10:56.000 I mean, her fucking whole life's over. 1.00

02:10:59.000 Trump's her boyfriend. 1.00

02:11:00.000 Her boyfriend Trump got thrown out.

02:11:02.000 She's in trouble.

02:11:02.000 What was the problem with the grandfather's legacy?

02:11:05.000 She's like, you don't even think about your grandfather's legacy because you know the shit I say and the way I act. 0.99

02:11:09.000 And I'm like, you know. 0.99

02:11:10.000 What is your grandfather's legacy?

02:11:11.000 Well, he was like a family man and everything like that. 0.99

02:11:14.000 I'm like a fucking wild nut. 0.99

02:11:15.000 But so I just went at her on my show for 25 minutes. 1.00

02:11:19.000 Wait a minute. 1.00

02:11:19.000 So you're comedy because you're crazy and saying wild shit for laughs. 1.00

02:11:24.000 She was mad at that. 1.00

02:11:26.000 She doesn't like it.

02:11:27.000 Is that really the case or is she just upset that you're getting a lot of attention?

02:11:31.000 Well, I don't know what upsets her, but I think it's maybe a combination of both, but I just kind of went at her on the show without worry about, like, you know, what...

02:11:42.000 It's my job to kind of be honest in that time.

02:11:46.000 Did you mention her by name?

02:11:47.000 Not her last name, but... 0.69

02:11:49.000 You know, but I mean... 1.00

02:11:51.000 She commented on your fucking Instagram, though. 0.99

02:11:53.000 She started. 1.00

02:11:54.000 She started.

02:11:55.000 So again, it's like...

02:11:58.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

02:11:59.000 Like, sometimes you have to get in fucking things. 0.99

02:12:02.000 It's like... 0.98

02:12:03.000 You ever talk to her after?

02:12:04.000 No, I don't...

02:12:05.000 It's gonna be bad now.

02:12:06.000 If I go to, like, family parties...

02:12:07.000 No, it'll be bad. 0.99

02:12:08.000 It was a brutal, brutal takedown of her because she's a horrible person. 0.97

02:12:12.000 But she also doesn't like me! 0.95

02:12:15.000 She doesn't think I'm a good person.

02:12:17.000 So that's okay.

02:12:18.000 We're all okay.

02:12:19.000 You're disrespecting your grandfather's legacy.

02:12:22.000 Yeah, something like that. 1.00

02:12:23.000 And then I went out and just told everyone her fucking, you know, you're a fucking cunt and here's why. 1.00

02:12:28.000 And I listed the reasons why. 1.00

02:12:30.000 What are the reasons?

02:12:31.000 Well, you know, she's just a problem. 1.00

02:12:33.000 You know, she's never worked.

02:12:34.000 It's a whole thing.

02:12:35.000 She's never worked? 1.00

02:12:36.000 Yeah, I mean, you know, she's full of shit. 1.00

02:12:38.000 I just, I don't want to go through it again because I don't want to like, you know. 1.00

02:12:40.000 Well, again, I've never heard it.

02:12:41.000 I know, but I've been asked by my family to kind of keep it, you know.

02:12:44.000 What family members?

02:12:46.000 She's, my dad was like, okay, just, we get it.

02:12:49.000 You had to do what you had to do.

02:12:51.000 Yeah, my dad's sister.

02:12:52.000 And we just got in a thing.

02:12:53.000 I'm willing to put it behind me.

02:12:55.000 But, you know, like she faked a drug overdose, for example, once.

02:12:59.000 She pretended to overdose on drugs. 0.98

02:13:02.000 So I brought that up.

02:13:03.000 I brought that up.

02:13:04.000 I brought that up.

02:13:07.000 I brought that up.

02:13:08.000 How does one do that?

02:13:09.000 You pretend to like pass out and go to the hospital.

02:13:14.000 So, I mean, I brought that up.

02:13:16.000 I brought that up.

02:13:17.000 How am I not going to bring that up?

02:13:19.000 You have to.

02:13:20.000 How would I not bring that up?

02:13:21.000 Glass houses.

02:13:22.000 How would I not bring that up?

02:13:23.000 Don't throw rocks.

02:13:24.000 Whatever.

02:13:24.000 My whole thing is this.

02:13:25.000 Listen, we're paid to kind of be honest and put ourselves out there.

02:13:30.000 You can't always be concerned what people are going to think.

02:13:33.000 Yeah.

02:13:34.000 No, you can't.

02:13:35.000 Otherwise, you don't get anything done.

02:13:37.000 Comedy without victims can be very boring.

02:13:39.000 Yeah.

02:13:40.000 I mean, it's just what it is.

02:13:41.000 It's like, you know, listen, I get, you know, that, you know, I'm not going to get a Nobel Prize.

02:13:49.000 You might. 0.99

02:13:51.000 The way shit's going, I might. 0.99

02:13:54.000 I'm completely comfortable with... 0.99

02:13:55.000 Couldn't Trump get a prize?

02:13:56.000 Yeah, I mean, that's perfect.

02:13:59.000 He got nominated?

02:13:59.000 He got nominated.

02:14:00.000 Which one?

02:14:00.000 For the Nobel Prize.

02:14:01.000 Peace, right?

02:14:02.000 The peace one?

02:14:03.000 Yeah.

02:14:04.000 So, I mean, I'm okay with that.

02:14:06.000 I'm not in this to get a Nobel Prize.

02:14:08.000 Me neither.

02:14:09.000 Yeah, and that's the problem.

02:14:10.000 That seems like a problem.

02:14:11.000 Because a lot of people now are kind of in it I don't even want an award.

02:14:15.000 Have you gotten any awards?

02:14:16.000 No.

02:14:17.000 I've gotten an award.

02:14:18.000 No.

02:14:20.000 No.

02:14:20.000 You can get awards.

02:14:21.000 No, they're not going to get...

02:14:22.000 I mean, you know, who knows?

02:14:23.000 I mean, listen.

02:14:24.000 There's cool awards, but yeah.

02:14:26.000 I mean, I'm more focused on, like, the idea that I can make a living at this is great.

02:14:29.000 That's the reward.

02:14:30.000 Awards for art are weird.

02:14:32.000 They're strange.

02:14:32.000 They're weird.

02:14:33.000 But they're cool when they meant something, like back in the, you know, when it was like 1995 and the nominees were like, Casino, Leaving Las Vegas, Apollo 13, like all these like, you're like, oh fuck, these are all good. 0.94

02:14:44.000 Now it's like a horror. 0.95

02:14:45.000 I heart radio.

02:14:46.000 Yeah, now it's like a horror.

02:14:48.000 It's like the movies are like, it's like insane.

02:14:50.000 It's like, you haven't seen half of them.

02:14:53.000 Half of them are like the... 0.97

02:14:54.000 The Webbys.

02:14:55.000 Yeah, the Webbys.

02:14:56.000 People come out and they start giving a political speech and just they're like, you know, it doesn't affect anyone.

02:15:02.000 They're like, 50% of the grips on this set were women.

02:15:07.000 Everyone's like, oh, it's good.

02:15:09.000 I mean, no one, you know.

02:15:10.000 Why is that good?

02:15:11.000 Who cares?

02:15:12.000 It should be open for everybody.

02:15:14.000 Remember when Meryl Streep came out and was like, mixed martial arts are not arts. 0.88

02:15:18.000 Yeah, it's not the arts.

02:15:20.000 She was going right at you. 1.00

02:15:22.000 Yeah, she just doesn't understand.

02:15:24.000 It is an art.

02:15:25.000 She was a great actress, and one of the greatest ones, but now you see her, it's like, it's goofy.

02:15:30.000 She's like, gotta stop. 1.00

02:15:31.000 But she doesn't understand when she said that, what she's saying.

02:15:34.000 What she's saying is that, like, my version of art is the only version of art.

02:15:37.000 Right.

02:15:38.000 What I think is art is art, because this is how I define it.

02:15:41.000 Right.

02:15:41.000 Martial arts are an art form.

02:15:43.000 It's just an art form that's brutal and violent, and it's only really truly appreciated by people that understand and or practice that art form.

02:15:51.000 Right.

02:15:52.000 But when I see someone head kick somebody, it's beautiful.

02:15:55.000 And I know that sounds crazy.

02:15:56.000 What do you think about Cobra Kai?

02:15:58.000 Do you think it's legit?

02:16:00.000 I like the show. 1.00

02:16:01.000 It's stupid at the end, though. 0.99

02:16:03.000 Season one's great. 0.99

02:16:04.000 Don't ruin it.

02:16:06.000 I'm only on season two.

02:16:07.000 All right.

02:16:07.000 Well, in season three, Lizzo runs a dojo.

02:16:09.000 No!

02:16:12.000 Lizzo has a donjo.

02:16:13.000 She's like, yo, wanna learn karate? 0.99

02:16:15.000 It's rough.

02:16:15.000 But you have to eat only vegetables.

02:16:17.000 I love how they wrote an article in the LA Times.

02:16:19.000 They're like, Cobra Kai's too white.

02:16:20.000 It's like, it's a movie.

02:16:21.000 It's like they were in a movie.

02:16:22.000 Did they really say that?

02:16:23.000 Yeah, it was an article.

02:16:25.000 The whiteness of Cobra Kai!

02:16:27.000 Keep going, please. 1.00

02:16:28.000 Keep writing all those stupid articles. 1.00

02:16:29.000 Eventually people are gonna realize that it doesn't matter. 1.00

02:16:32.000 It doesn't matter.

02:16:33.000 What matters is if you stop someone from doing something because of their color.

02:16:38.000 It doesn't matter that people do it because if a certain percentage of people do it and they happen to be whatever, gay, straight, black, white, Asian, that's irrelevant.

02:16:51.000 It's whether or not they're being inhibited, whether or not they're being prevented from doing it, whether there's a barrier, whether someone gets to, like, hey, you can't do this because you're gay.

02:17:01.000 Right.

02:17:01.000 That's one of the beautiful things about comedy is there's no barrier to entry.

02:17:04.000 Right.

02:17:05.000 No one cares.

02:17:05.000 You can do it no matter what.

02:17:07.000 Podcasting too.

02:17:07.000 Yeah.

02:17:08.000 Do you kill?

02:17:09.000 Do you kill? 0.99

02:17:10.000 Right.

02:17:11.000 Well, even podcasting is interesting, right?

02:17:14.000 Because there's zero barrier and no one has to even be listening and you still do it.

02:17:21.000 Like if you just decided to do a podcast every week and it was terrible- No one's gonna stop you.

02:17:25.000 Right.

02:17:26.000 You can just keep going.

02:17:27.000 Right.

02:17:27.000 And there's a lot of people out there doing that right now.

02:17:29.000 There's a lot of people that I know of that have been doing podcasting for a decade and they're awful and no one cares.

02:17:35.000 Amazing.

02:17:35.000 And they'll get a few thousand views or listens.

02:17:38.000 Wow.

02:17:39.000 But they're terrible. 0.55

02:17:40.000 And they just keep doing it.

02:17:41.000 And it's part of their identity.

02:17:43.000 It's like, do you remember those guys that were open micers that had been doing comedy for 20 years?

02:17:47.000 Yeah.

02:17:47.000 And they were still open micers?

02:17:48.000 Right.

02:17:48.000 And you would go, I don't understand.

02:17:50.000 But it's what they are.

02:17:51.000 They just showed up.

02:17:53.000 And it was okay.

02:17:54.000 It's sad.

02:17:55.000 But it's also part of what they enjoyed doing.

02:17:58.000 Right.

02:17:59.000 Monday night, they would show up.

02:18:00.000 They would put their name on the list.

02:18:02.000 And they would go up last.

02:18:03.000 And then they kept doing it.

02:18:04.000 Right.

02:18:05.000 There's a guy, Robert William Appervire at the Comedy Store, who was like this, he was a lawyer who kind of went crazy, and he was like semi-homeless, and he would show up at the Comedy Store every week, and every week he would go on really late at night,

02:18:20.000 and every week he would have these kind of funny, sort of witty one-liners, and that was his realm, you know?

02:18:28.000 And he got some sort of a juice, some sort of charge out of performing, and Even though he never became a professional in the sense he never got paid.

02:18:39.000 But he was always there.

02:18:41.000 There was a guy that used to get up and just scream about his wife and just he threw his phone once in a bit and broke his phone.

02:18:48.000 But this is like that's what he wanted to do.

02:18:51.000 There was a guy in New York City who would get up on stage and he would do all these crazy anti-Semitic conspiracy theories and then he would come in the back of the room and his daughter called him.

02:18:58.000 He's like, I'll help you with your homework when I get home, sweetie.

02:19:01.000 We were like, well, at least he's a good father.

02:19:03.000 He had an anti-Semitic conspiracy. 0.77

02:19:05.000 Yeah, he would just get up and be like, they're Jews! 1.00

02:19:06.000 We all thought it was hilarious.

02:19:08.000 On stage?

02:19:08.000 Oh yeah, we thought it was so funny.

02:19:09.000 It was an open mic, right? 0.93

02:19:10.000 So we all thought it was so funny because he was crazy.

02:19:12.000 So we thought it was funny, but apparently he was a loving father.

02:19:15.000 So that's the thing.

02:19:16.000 Complexity of people is really interesting.

02:19:19.000 There's a lot of people out there that are just, we don't know what animates them.

02:19:24.000 No.

02:19:24.000 No, people are, you know, and I think...

02:19:28.000 I think that criticisms and commentary on people is all valid, but I also think that it's important to not dig too deep and not to be a shithead about it.

02:19:41.000 You can mock things, but you see them, give them a hug.

02:19:44.000 We always try to mock things in a way that's fun for us.

02:19:49.000 Not always fun for what we're mocking.

02:19:51.000 It's not fun for the people that are getting mocked.

02:19:53.000 Not always, but that's okay.

02:19:55.000 I mean, it is what it is.

02:19:56.000 Some of them like it.

02:19:58.000 Some people don't like it at all. 0.99

02:19:59.000 Like Caitlyn Jenner had this fucking TMZ video about me recently. 0.98

02:20:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:20:03.000 Said horrible things about me. 1.00

02:20:05.000 I'm like, I get it.

02:20:06.000 Did you see her go on Bird Show?

02:20:08.000 I made fun of her.

02:20:08.000 And Bird has her call the dad.

02:20:11.000 And then Bird's father, because he was like a big fan of her.

02:20:15.000 Before?

02:20:16.000 Yeah, correct.

02:20:18.000 When she was a he and she won gold medals.

02:20:21.000 So then Burt has...

02:20:23.000 Caitlyn Jenner calls the dad and it's like Burt's almost in tears. 0.99

02:20:27.000 Caitlyn Jenner doesn't give a shit. 0.99

02:20:28.000 She's like, hello. 1.00

02:20:28.000 Burt was probably hammered. 1.00

02:20:30.000 Yeah, Burt was like...

02:20:30.000 Burt was like a big moment for Burt.

02:20:32.000 Caitlyn Jenner's like, hi. 1.00

02:20:33.000 She's being a rich cunt. 1.00

02:20:35.000 Hi. 1.00

02:20:36.000 Like, who cares?

02:20:37.000 It means nothing to her.

02:20:39.000 And then, you know, Burt's in there.

02:20:40.000 Do you feel weird saying her?

02:20:42.000 No, because Caitlyn Jenner to me has never been a gender. 0.99

02:20:45.000 She's always been a murderer. 0.99

02:20:56.000 So, it doesn't really...

02:20:58.000 I mean, it identifies what you want. 0.99

02:21:02.000 You're a rich murderer. 0.87

02:21:05.000 But yeah, that was an interesting one. 1.00

02:21:07.000 Oh, she's shooting a bow and arrow with a fucking... 1.00

02:21:09.000 Is that a marshmallow on the end of it? 1.00

02:21:10.000 Good form, though.

02:21:11.000 Really decent form.

02:21:13.000 A little tight in the grip.

02:21:14.000 Might want to loosen up that front hand. 0.67

02:21:16.000 Yeah.

02:21:17.000 Yeah.

02:21:18.000 But she called me transphobic and homophobic and all this stuff.

02:21:21.000 Have you met?

02:21:22.000 Would you have her on?

02:21:23.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:21:23.000 That'd be interesting.

02:21:24.000 No, I was just making fun of you.

02:21:26.000 Yeah.

02:21:26.000 I was making fun of you because you were a cultural icon who became the woman of the year six months after being a woman.

02:21:33.000 If you don't understand how that's hilarious.

02:21:35.000 That's funny.

02:21:35.000 You became a woman of the year.

02:21:38.000 You only have women who have been women for 30 fucking years, and they couldn't be women of the year. 1.00

02:21:42.000 You were women for a few months, less than a year. 0.99

02:21:45.000 It's funny.

02:21:46.000 But you know what it is?

02:21:47.000 Certain rich people like that just don't have a sense of humor, and it is what it is.

02:21:53.000 It's not only rich people, but certain people like that are just...

02:21:56.000 Comedy is like they don't get it.

02:21:58.000 It's not for them.

02:21:59.000 They're not comics.

02:22:00.000 They're in a protected class.

02:22:02.000 They're like golf people.

02:22:04.000 She's a golf person. 0.83

02:22:05.000 She's like a golf club. 1.00

02:22:06.000 She also wants to lean into that protected class.

02:22:09.000 And it's not that I hate.

02:22:12.000 You can call me transphobic all you want.

02:22:13.000 I'm not.

02:22:14.000 I'm not homophobic.

02:22:16.000 I'm not anything.

02:22:16.000 I'm not racist.

02:22:17.000 I'm not sexist.

02:22:19.000 I'm not. 0.99

02:22:20.000 But if you're a woman and you're a dingbat, I'm going to make fun of you. 1.00

02:22:24.000 It doesn't mean I'm a sexist. 0.98

02:22:25.000 I just call things like I see them, including myself.

02:22:30.000 I think she was fair game like those people she killed in Malibu.

02:22:35.000 There was one person.

02:22:36.000 One person.

02:22:36.000 You can't say people.

02:22:38.000 That's rude.

02:22:38.000 Person.

02:22:39.000 Yeah, it's like they.

02:22:40.000 But you can't, because they is a pronoun for a single.

02:22:43.000 They.

02:22:44.000 Yeah.

02:22:44.000 Well, you know.

02:22:45.000 Well, they didn't know what they were doing.

02:22:47.000 Good for her. 0.98

02:22:48.000 And I'm pro-killing in Malibu. 0.99

02:22:51.000 Some people... 1.00

02:22:52.000 People gotta go.

02:22:53.000 People on that PCH gotta go.

02:22:56.000 But my point was that I was trying to figure out a way to make fun of something that was kind of sacred.

02:23:02.000 Right.

02:23:03.000 And that what I did was I made fun of myself so hard that by the time I got to them, it was okay.

02:23:09.000 Right.

02:23:10.000 I was literally talking to my friend Tim Kennedy, who's a literal killer for the government.

02:23:15.000 Right. 1.00

02:23:16.000 He's a fucking soldier. 1.00

02:23:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:23:17.000 And we were just talking about comedy, that sometimes there's a way to make fun of almost everything. 1.00

02:23:23.000 Right.

02:23:24.000 Right.

02:23:24.000 And it didn't mean that I was saying...

02:23:27.000 I don't know if you saw that.

02:23:29.000 I had this bit in my 2016 Netflix special called Triggered.

02:23:34.000 Okay.

02:23:34.000 And I had this bit about Caitlyn Jenner.

02:23:37.000 Right.

02:23:37.000 And the bit was basically talking about my own experiences of living with women.

02:23:42.000 All women. 0.74

02:23:42.000 I remember that. 0.74

02:23:43.000 And it's like they break you.

02:23:45.000 Right.

02:23:45.000 The bit was like if my manhood was a mountain of marbles.

02:23:50.000 Every day they take two.

02:23:51.000 They just steal two marbles.

02:23:53.000 You have too many marbles, but you need them.

02:23:55.000 Over time, eventually, they just break you. 0.98

02:23:58.000 And then the bit was that Caitlyn Jenner was living with these crazy women. 1.00

02:24:06.000 She's always been a woman. 1.00

02:24:07.000 I'm like, maybe, or maybe, if you live with these fucking people. 1.00

02:24:11.000 And that's the funny of it, right? 1.00

02:24:13.000 That was the funny.

02:24:13.000 It was a joke.

02:24:14.000 But it wasn't Yes.

02:24:25.000 Yes.

02:24:27.000 Yes.

02:24:31.000 That's our job.

02:24:32.000 That's the job of people that do what we do is to make fun of things that are tough.

02:24:35.000 If it didn't make sense, people wouldn't have laughed.

02:24:37.000 Yes.

02:24:38.000 That's the thing.

02:24:39.000 Absolutely.

02:24:39.000 I closed with it for a reason.

02:24:41.000 Yeah.

02:24:41.000 People, absolutely.

02:24:42.000 It worked.

02:24:43.000 Yes.

02:24:43.000 It doesn't mean you hate anybody.

02:24:45.000 Right.

02:24:45.000 And I think that that's the only reason why it works.

02:24:47.000 Because if people really think you hate someone...

02:24:50.000 Like, if people that love you and that are fans of you, they think you really hate someone, they're like, hey, Tim, like, this is wrong.

02:24:57.000 Right.

02:24:58.000 There's a tongue-in-cheek aspect of it.

02:25:00.000 There's a humor aspect of it.

02:25:03.000 Yes. 1.00

02:25:03.000 That if we abandon all that, we are fucked. 1.00

02:25:06.000 Completely. 1.00

02:25:06.000 If you abandon mocking things, if you abandon humor, if you abandon the ability to make fun, we're fucked. 1.00

02:25:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:25:14.000 We're fucked. 1.00

02:25:15.000 Right. 1.00

02:25:15.000 Because then you're going to let people develop these narratives and they're going to take over culture. 1.00

02:25:20.000 And their egos are going to get so crazy and big that God only knows what they do. 0.99

02:25:23.000 And fucking when they get knocked down, it's good for them too. 1.00

02:25:27.000 It's very good. 1.00

02:25:27.000 You've got to become undeniable. 1.00

02:25:29.000 That's why you've got to get on Clubhouse.

02:25:31.000 What?

02:25:34.000 What was that lady who was on Clubhouse all the time? 1.00

02:25:36.000 Taylor Lorenz in the New York Times.

02:25:37.000 Listening to everybody. 0.85

02:25:38.000 Just waiting for you to say retard and then, you know, but you got to get on Clubhouse.

02:25:43.000 But the person that said, she said someone said it. 0.83

02:25:47.000 Yeah, she didn't say it.

02:25:48.000 Explain what happened.

02:25:49.000 I believe what happened was I was in the room.

02:25:51.000 Somebody said it describing, using the word to describe.

02:25:55.000 It's like, they always get in trouble, describing someone else who said it.

02:25:58.000 They're describing someone else's edit about themselves.

02:26:00.000 Correct.

02:26:01.000 Talking about Wall Street bets.

02:26:03.000 Wall Street bets.

02:26:04.000 Taylor Lorenz ascribed it to a guy who didn't say it.

02:26:06.000 Because that guy was a critic of her.

02:26:08.000 I guess.

02:26:09.000 I don't know.

02:26:10.000 Or she was just sloppy and wrong. 0.97

02:26:11.000 It could have been.

02:26:12.000 It could have been.

02:26:13.000 How does that person...

02:26:14.000 Keep a job.

02:26:16.000 It's a great question.

02:26:17.000 I don't know.

02:26:19.000 The New York Times is really not interested in penalizing that type of behavior.

02:26:26.000 They're much more concerned with just putting out an ideological point of view over and over again to the point where no one cares.

02:26:36.000 But the New York Times used to be so objective.

02:26:40.000 They used to be the gold standard.

02:26:41.000 They tried.

02:26:42.000 No, they were in the day.

02:26:43.000 They were better than they are now.

02:26:44.000 They were way better.

02:26:45.000 They were the gold standard of information.

02:26:48.000 Yeah.

02:26:49.000 Well, I think it is everything so weaponized right now that they feel like if they fire her, they're handing her over.

02:26:55.000 They're capitulating and they're handing her over to the enemies because they believe they're on one side and then the enemies are on the other side.

02:27:01.000 I know nothing about her other than this story that has come across my news feed.

02:27:04.000 Yeah, I don't know much about her.

02:27:05.000 I mean, she's a reporter who writes about the internet.

02:27:08.000 Well, I know about it because Sagar talked about it on Rising on the Hill.

02:27:14.000 And, you know, it's maddening.

02:27:16.000 It's crazy.

02:27:17.000 If someone is saying something that is incorrect or you're wrongly attributing a quote to someone and then attacking them for that quote, that's not news.

02:27:32.000 It's not news.

02:27:33.000 And it's a real problem.

02:27:34.000 It's a real problem.

02:27:35.000 Yeah.

02:27:36.000 So you were saying that like these clubhouse sessions, that people just sit in and wait for people to do that.

02:27:42.000 Well, she does.

02:27:44.000 I don't know how many other people do, but I would imagine that more people would because, you know, the New York Times just ran this article by her, I believe, who said, you know, unfettered conversations are taking place online.

02:27:55.000 It was hilarious. 0.99

02:27:56.000 It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

02:27:58.000 New York Times report on Clubhouse app panned for sounding alarm about unfettered conversations. 0.99

02:28:05.000 Yeah, so this is Taylor Lorenzo, the retard, the reporter who talked about that. 0.98

02:28:09.000 She's now saying that unfettered conversations, like how dare people go online and speak freely without moderation. 0.85

02:28:15.000 It's crazy.

02:28:16.000 In the process, Clubhouse has generated debate about whether audio is the next wave of social media, moving digital connections beyond text, What is cosmic poetry?

02:28:45.000 I don't know.

02:28:46.000 But that's the thing about Clubhouse is they'll have a room.

02:28:48.000 I think it should be fun.

02:28:49.000 First of all, it's invite-only, so you get sponsored to get on it.

02:28:52.000 It's not public right now.

02:28:53.000 So this guy, Michael Gruen, who's this 22-year-old investor Bitcoin guy, got me on it, just invited me on it.

02:29:00.000 He's very smart in the business world.

02:29:03.000 So I'll go on and just listen to people talk about things I don't really know much about.

02:29:06.000 But then there's a lot of rooms where it'll be like...

02:29:09.000 This is Bitcoin Room.

02:29:11.000 This room is about how do we...

02:29:14.000 And then there's a lot of rooms just about Clubhouse.

02:29:15.000 Like, how do we keep Clubhouse diverse?

02:29:17.000 Why do you think people have a problem with people talking about things that they might not be accurate about?

02:29:22.000 But isn't that...

02:29:23.000 Because if you're a human being, if you just enter into a conversation, like this one we're having right now.

02:29:29.000 Right. 0.97

02:29:29.000 You and I could just start talking about energy production, and we don't know jack shit about it. 0.97

02:29:33.000 I think it's that people have very low opinions of other people, and they think that other people are very susceptible to misinformation.

02:29:39.000 And in some cases, they may be correct.

02:29:41.000 But there's always this Faustian bargain that you make where it's like, well, okay, does, you know...

02:29:49.000 You're never going to stop everyone from getting fooled.

02:29:52.000 That's the thing with the QAnon stuff.

02:29:53.000 It's like, you can't ban the QAnon stuff.

02:29:55.000 Some people exist on Earth to get fooled.

02:29:58.000 But they won't stop the flat Earth people.

02:30:00.000 That's where, like, when it gets so preposterous... 0.97

02:30:03.000 When it's so ridiculous. 0.57

02:30:04.000 Because the flat Earth people, I guess, technically aren't storming the galaxy, right?

02:30:09.000 I mean, they can't really...

02:30:11.000 There's a limited amount of flatter people can do. 0.95

02:30:14.000 But before this, before anything happens, look, if you get one schizophrenic that shows up at the pizza place with a fucking rifle, and fires a round off in the ceiling, does that mean you need to delete the whole subject from the internet? 0.97

02:30:25.000 No, I don't think so. 0.99

02:30:26.000 At what point in time do you say that this is not just ridiculous, but dangerous? 0.81

02:30:32.000 Well, I mean, it depends, right? 0.75

02:30:34.000 It depends on what's going on.

02:30:35.000 There's a bunch of people that believe dinosaurs aren't real.

02:30:37.000 When do we step in?

02:30:39.000 When do we step in?

02:30:40.000 Never, never.

02:30:40.000 They've got to let these people talk about things.

02:30:42.000 And the other thing is, like, I think these people would carry a lot less sway if they were made fun of. 0.99

02:30:50.000 We just gotta make fun of them and say that they're fucking ridiculous. 1.00

02:30:54.000 Yeah, ridiculous. 1.00

02:30:54.000 And retarded. 1.00

02:30:55.000 And then you go, you can't call them retarded. 0.98

02:30:56.000 But they took down words from us. 0.74

02:30:57.000 That's the problem.

02:30:57.000 Right, so then what do you call someone who's a full QAnon?

02:31:00.000 Yeah.

02:31:01.000 You can and I can.

02:31:01.000 Yes.

02:31:02.000 For whatever weird reason.

02:31:03.000 Whatever weird reason.

02:31:04.000 But we're not on Clubhouse at the moment.

02:31:07.000 At the end of the day...

02:31:08.000 We're on a better platform.

02:31:09.000 Yeah, we're on a bigger platform.

02:31:10.000 But I want you to come on and do a room. 0.67

02:31:12.000 I really do.

02:31:12.000 I'm not doing it.

02:31:12.000 I know, but we should.

02:31:14.000 And then the Weinsteins come in, and then we'll have to invite them up.

02:31:17.000 Should we do it right after this podcast?

02:31:19.000 Should we do Clubhouse?

02:31:20.000 Will you do it right after this podcast?

02:31:21.000 Do I have to join Clubhouse?

02:31:23.000 You have to just join it quickly.

02:31:24.000 I sent you a link.

02:31:25.000 Didn't Eric Weinstein send you a link?

02:31:26.000 A lot of people sent me links.

02:31:28.000 Dude, if we did a...

02:31:29.000 Naval is the first person to send me a link.

02:31:31.000 If we did Tim Dillon, Joe Rogan room on podcast...

02:31:33.000 What would we say?

02:31:35.000 Anything we could say what we just said here.

02:31:37.000 And people would rush into it.

02:31:38.000 More for you.

02:31:39.000 But I have a few fans as well on there.

02:31:41.000 But it would be a massive event.

02:31:45.000 Massive.

02:31:46.000 It would be massive.

02:31:47.000 Seems like a problem.

02:31:47.000 Joe Rogan on podcasting.

02:31:49.000 Jamie just nodded.

02:31:50.000 He said it's a problem.

02:31:51.000 It's not a problem.

02:31:52.000 He's my confidant.

02:31:53.000 Do you really think it's a bad idea?

02:31:55.000 No, no, no.

02:31:56.000 That was a nod of like, you're right.

02:31:58.000 It could be a problem.

02:31:59.000 Yeah.

02:31:59.000 Why would it be a problem?

02:32:00.000 Because we would say the same kind of shit we're saying right here. 0.97

02:32:02.000 But we do it in this weird form. 0.99

02:32:04.000 Yeah, but you could just say whatever you wanted.

02:32:06.000 It's Clubhouse.

02:32:07.000 You could talk about cosmic poetry.

02:32:09.000 Let's do a show on cosmic poetry.

02:32:12.000 You don't have to do it, but it's...

02:32:13.000 I'm going to have to get high for that.

02:32:15.000 Yeah, it's a fun thing.

02:32:17.000 We're on it five, six hours a night.

02:32:19.000 But that's not good.

02:32:20.000 See, I have a lot of other hobbies.

02:32:23.000 Of course.

02:32:24.000 I like to write.

02:32:25.000 Yes.

02:32:25.000 I get up and work out.

02:32:26.000 I don't have time for that.

02:32:27.000 I have a family.

02:32:27.000 Well, no one's saying that you have to do it all the time, but you, like Elon Musk, one of those guys, you drop in, light it on fire...

02:32:34.000 Yeah, but Elon goes on Twitter, too. 0.99

02:32:36.000 He does a lot of shit that I don't do. 0.94

02:32:36.000 Yeah, he does a lot of stuff, yeah. 0.94

02:32:37.000 I don't know how he does all the things he does.

02:32:39.000 I think he has a few clones laying around.

02:32:41.000 It's very possible.

02:32:42.000 Well, QAnon says they've all been cloned.

02:32:44.000 It's very possible.

02:32:44.000 Maybe they're right.

02:32:45.000 They say that Biden's a clone.

02:32:46.000 They still think that Trump is president.

02:32:48.000 Oh, yeah.

02:32:49.000 They think this is all some sort of...

02:32:50.000 Correct.

02:32:50.000 They're waiting for the grand awakening.

02:32:52.000 I mean, God bless them.

02:32:54.000 Anyone who believes in something that much is happier than I'll ever be.

02:32:57.000 It's weird to watch those videos, though.

02:32:59.000 They removed them from YouTube, but I used to enjoy them, watching these people that were like, clearly, like, this was the first moment in their life where anybody was listening to them and taking them seriously.

02:33:09.000 And they would say, Q says that this is going to happen.

02:33:12.000 And they would talk about it.

02:33:14.000 It became an industry.

02:33:14.000 People made money.

02:33:15.000 People sent them Bitcoin.

02:33:17.000 People sent them money to talk about Q. Yeah.

02:33:20.000 And to break it down and break down the latest drops and break down the latest things.

02:33:23.000 Why Q? What is the letter Q? Well, there was a bunch of Anons when it started. 1.00

02:33:27.000 FBI Anon, this Anon, that Anon.

02:33:29.000 A Q Anon just stuck. 0.94

02:33:30.000 But what does Q stand for? 0.99

02:33:31.000 Who the fuck? 0.99

02:33:32.000 I don't even know. 1.00

02:33:33.000 Q Clearance of the government.

02:33:35.000 Q Clearance means it's like above top secret four levels or something.

02:33:38.000 Oh, does it?

02:33:39.000 Yeah, that's what it means.

02:33:40.000 Oh.

02:33:40.000 Somebody with a Q Clearance is above top secret and that's what it is.

02:33:43.000 Oh, it's all fun.

02:33:46.000 But it's too dangerous. 1.00

02:33:48.000 Well, it became dangerous when people wear fucking buffalo helmets and storm Nancy Pelosi's office. 1.00

02:33:54.000 That's when it got ridiculous. 0.99

02:33:55.000 Obviously, it was ridiculous before that, but I understand people going, hey, this has gone a little too far. 0.98

02:34:00.000 Well, that's when people were talking about Trump being dangerous. 0.91

02:34:05.000 That's when they were right.

02:34:06.000 That's when they were right.

02:34:07.000 He was dangerous.

02:34:09.000 But it didn't appear to be dangerous to a lot of people until the storming of the Capitol, and then they went, Well, no, he had a violent cult of people willing to do almost anything for him.

02:34:18.000 That's not great.

02:34:19.000 No, it's not the best.

02:34:20.000 It's not the best.

02:34:21.000 But it's also when you actually incite those people to do things.

02:34:25.000 Directing an attack on the Capitol is not the best.

02:34:27.000 I don't think he directed an attack, but he definitely left it open to interpretation.

02:34:30.000 It was pretty close.

02:34:31.000 It was pretty close.

02:34:33.000 He's like, they're in there doing what they shouldn't be doing.

02:34:36.000 Show strength.

02:34:37.000 Show strength.

02:34:38.000 Go get him.

02:34:38.000 He can't be weak.

02:34:39.000 Mike Pence is in there. 1.00

02:34:40.000 Go hang him. 1.00

02:34:41.000 He's eating kids. 1.00

02:34:42.000 Yeah.

02:34:42.000 I mean, he was pretty close.

02:34:43.000 It was pretty, you know.

02:34:44.000 They were ready to go.

02:34:45.000 But, you know, this is a guy that understands reality TV. That was a finale.

02:34:49.000 And it was a big one.

02:34:51.000 It was a good finale.

02:34:52.000 This is a guy that understands.

02:34:54.000 Like, he wanted to go out big.

02:34:55.000 He went out big.

02:34:56.000 I don't think he wanted to go out.

02:34:58.000 Well, he didn't want to go out.

02:35:00.000 I think he thought that the military and the police and people were going to rise up.

02:35:03.000 I really believe he thought it was going to be a crazy storm in the Capitol until there was a new election.

02:35:10.000 I think he really believed they were going to overturn the election.

02:35:14.000 Correct. 0.99

02:35:14.000 And that's why he was calling the politicians in Georgia and saying, you can be a hero or a pussy. 0.99

02:35:20.000 Right. 0.99

02:35:21.000 Yeah, he was doing that.

02:35:22.000 Just like Andrew Cuomo. 1.00

02:35:23.000 They all do the same shit. 1.00

02:35:24.000 They all just call people up and threaten them. 1.00

02:35:26.000 Well, do you imagine the pressure of being the president and to be hated as much as that guy was when all of your life you've been nothing but loved.

02:35:36.000 All of your life. 0.99

02:35:37.000 And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, when you're 73 or whatever the fuck you was, you became the president. 0.99

02:35:43.000 It was also like an amazing practical joke. 0.99

02:35:45.000 That he started and then became the president.

02:35:48.000 Right.

02:35:48.000 He didn't really want to be president.

02:35:49.000 He wanted to develop ratings for The Apprentice.

02:35:52.000 And then he just became... 0.99

02:35:53.000 But that's how fucked the country was. 1.00

02:35:55.000 They were so fucked up. 1.00

02:35:55.000 People were like, no, we're going to make this guy president. 1.00

02:35:57.000 Not just fucked, but the whole media system. 0.99

02:36:01.000 I just read Hate Inc. 0.99

02:36:03.000 from Matt Taibbi.

02:36:04.000 Yeah.

02:36:04.000 And he goes into depth about how this started, really, in the 80s with Reagan.

02:36:10.000 And where this whole...

02:36:13.000 The media developed this sort of industry that was based upon getting people really upset about things.

02:36:21.000 And then, of course, with social media and the algorithms of Facebook and all these...

02:36:26.000 It became weaponized where people leaned into the things that they hated and then it generated extreme wealth for the people that ran Facebook and all these social media sites.

02:36:37.000 And then that became their sort of business model, whether it's CNN or CNBC... You know, CNN's ratings dropped 45% right after Trump left office.

02:36:46.000 Right.

02:36:46.000 And Fox dropped.

02:36:47.000 A lot of them dropped.

02:36:48.000 Because, like, it became...

02:36:49.000 No, it's over.

02:36:50.000 It's boring now, dude.

02:36:52.000 It's boring.

02:36:52.000 There's nothing left.

02:36:53.000 I mean, now it's just like, shut it the fuck down. 0.99

02:36:57.000 Shut CNN down. 0.99

02:36:59.000 Make Chris Cuomo go work in an Italian deli. 1.00

02:37:03.000 These motherfuckers are done. 1.00

02:37:05.000 Let him help his thug, brother. 1.00

02:37:08.000 Dude, there's nothing left. 0.54

02:37:09.000 There's not a thing left for these people.

02:37:11.000 Fox News is going to still sell gold coins to elderly dementia patients in between.

02:37:17.000 Whatever they're selling. 1.00

02:37:18.000 Some fucking commemorative pin. 1.00

02:37:20.000 Apocalypse food. 1.00

02:37:21.000 A Rush Limbaugh Christmas ornament. 1.00

02:37:23.000 Whatever it is, just let them fucking do it. 0.99

02:37:26.000 And let's all go back to living like people. 0.98

02:37:28.000 Yeah, I like what you're saying.

02:37:30.000 Let's hope.

02:37:31.000 Enjoy Clubhouse!

02:37:32.000 Enjoy Clubhouse!

02:37:33.000 Alright, we'll do a quick one after this.

02:37:36.000 Really?

02:37:37.000 Yeah, we'll do this. 1.00

02:37:37.000 Oh, fuck yeah. 1.00

02:37:38.000 I'm excited. 0.99

02:37:39.000 Because this isn't live, so we'll go on Clubhouse.

02:37:41.000 Oh, we'll just go on Clubhouse.

02:37:42.000 It's going to be great.

02:37:42.000 You've got to sign up.

02:37:43.000 Yeah, but I don't want that fucking app on my phone. 0.99

02:37:45.000 Then you delete it right after, Joe. 0.99

02:37:47.000 I don't trust anybody.

02:37:48.000 Delete it.

02:37:49.000 And that people are going to come up and they're going to try to be speakers.

02:37:52.000 I have multiple phones.

02:37:52.000 And you'll tell me you'll go, yeah.

02:37:55.000 You're in many phones.

02:37:56.000 Yeah, but that's a good idea.

02:37:58.000 It's a good idea.

02:37:59.000 Oh, I've got three now.

02:38:00.000 Yeah.

02:38:01.000 That's crazy.

02:38:01.000 I have three levels of A, B, and C. You're A. Congratulations.

02:38:04.000 Oh, I appreciate it.

02:38:05.000 Thank you very much.

02:38:06.000 Very good.

02:38:07.000 This is A, B, C. This is everything.

02:38:10.000 One phone.

02:38:10.000 The problem with that is they're tracking you.

02:38:13.000 Oh, I'm being tracked.

02:38:14.000 If they're not tracking me, they're not working.

02:38:16.000 Yeah, that's what I said.

02:38:17.000 Yeah.

02:38:17.000 That's what I said.

02:38:18.000 They're tracking.

02:38:19.000 Sometimes I talk to the phone.

02:38:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:38:21.000 So listen, bitch, I'm about to jerk off. 1.00

02:38:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:38:23.000 You want to watch?

02:38:24.000 Yeah.

02:38:25.000 Did you say that to me?

02:38:26.000 I have one person I talk to on the phone a lot, and we always hear weird noise on our phones.

02:38:30.000 We're just like, hey, if you're listening, by the way, this is what we're talking about.

02:38:32.000 I was talking to a friend of mine, and I heard, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, in a dial tone.

02:38:37.000 Yeah.

02:38:38.000 I'm like, what am I, in the 80s?

02:38:39.000 Yeah.

02:38:41.000 Dude, I've gone on my phone where it's literally...

02:38:44.000 Sounds like I hear crackling and it's weird.

02:38:48.000 I don't know what it is.

02:38:49.000 I don't want to be paranoid, but the week I did the Alex Jones podcast with you, the phone was wonky.

02:38:54.000 It was a week before the election.

02:38:57.000 Something.

02:38:57.000 They're looking for the boogeyman now.

02:38:59.000 That's what's interesting.

02:39:00.000 They're looking for the next boogeyman.

02:39:02.000 Who's going to be the bad guy?

02:39:03.000 Who's going to be the next Trump?

02:39:05.000 I don't know.

02:39:07.000 Not me, hopefully.

02:39:08.000 Hopefully.

02:39:08.000 I wonder what's going to happen in 2024. I wonder how this is going to go down.

02:39:14.000 Kamala versus Nikki Haley.

02:39:18.000 Who's Nikki Haley?

02:39:19.000 That's a Republican?

02:39:21.000 Yeah, from South Carolina or something.

02:39:22.000 What does she do again? 1.00

02:39:23.000 I don't know, but it'll be Kamala and her.

02:39:27.000 Maybe not, but that's my...

02:39:29.000 Bet.

02:39:30.000 The Republicans put up a woman.

02:39:33.000 Democrats put up a woman.

02:39:34.000 I think it would be DeSantis.

02:39:36.000 I think it would be a guy from Florida.

02:39:37.000 Might be.

02:39:38.000 I think that, listen, that guy, whatever you want to think about him, if you look at the COVID numbers, he makes a really good point. 0.86

02:39:45.000 The numbers are not, they opened up fucking everything in Florida. 0.84

02:39:50.000 Schultz is down there in Florida. 1.00

02:39:51.000 He said they look at you like a pussy if you have a mask on. 1.00

02:39:54.000 Right. 1.00

02:39:54.000 And meanwhile, their numbers aren't elevated. 1.00

02:39:56.000 Their deaths aren't elevated.

02:39:57.000 They're not...

02:39:58.000 We don't know the real numbers.

02:40:01.000 But Florida, no, we don't.

02:40:02.000 They'll...

02:40:02.000 I mean, Florida will do it.

02:40:03.000 They'll fudge a number, too. 1.00

02:40:04.000 Yeah, they'll throw you into the fucking lagoon. 1.00

02:40:06.000 They'll throw you into the lagoon. 1.00

02:40:07.000 They don't know the numbers.

02:40:08.000 The numbers.

02:40:09.000 But, yeah, I think it'll be Haley versus Harris.

02:40:14.000 Who knows?

02:40:15.000 Yeah.

02:40:16.000 I just want to go back.

02:40:17.000 Let's all go back to bed for eight years.

02:40:19.000 And then in 2028, when it's like, who knows?

02:40:24.000 God only knows what QAnon will be then.

02:40:25.000 It'll be Alien Anon.

02:40:26.000 I think what's going to save us is something along the lines of Neuralink.

02:40:31.000 Something that allows you to legitimately read people's intentions.

02:40:36.000 Legitimately understand how a person's thinking. 1.00

02:40:38.000 So the people that are full of shit, it gets exposed like it's a purple light that appears above their head. 1.00

02:40:42.000 Well, that's very interesting. 1.00

02:40:43.000 I think that's maybe one of the only things that's going to save us.

02:40:46.000 And I think that we're boxing ourselves into this corner.

02:40:50.000 Right.

02:40:50.000 And I think that...

02:40:52.000 With technology, we're boxing ourselves, right?

02:40:55.000 With Facebook and Twitter and this addiction to commentary and input.

02:41:00.000 And maybe the only thing that's going to save us from disingenuous people that are using these platforms to express Yeah.

02:41:27.000 If there's some sort of revolutionary advance in communication, the same way the internet was, right?

02:41:34.000 We didn't see the internet coming.

02:41:35.000 The 90s rolled around, and all of a sudden people were on AOL, and meeting up in chat rooms.

02:41:41.000 Remember the early days of AOL? There was a lot of fucking kiddie porn that was being distributed through AOL. My friend Barry Crimmins. 0.99

02:41:49.000 He was like a big advocate.

02:41:50.000 Yeah, because he was abused and he was a child. 0.98

02:41:53.000 He was raped. 0.78

02:41:53.000 And he talked about it. 0.78

02:41:55.000 He got them to remove that shit, but they were aware of it and they were keeping it up. 0.99

02:41:59.000 This is the 90s. 1.00

02:42:00.000 Really?

02:42:00.000 Yes!

02:42:01.000 The Barry Crimmins documentary Bobcat Goldthwait did it, and it is fucking brilliant. 0.95

02:42:09.000 It's fucking brilliant, and it's scary, because you realize, like, Jesus Christ, this was just 20-plus years ago. 0.83

02:42:15.000 They were doing this, where they were allowing this stuff to live, and they were like, ah, it's the internet, I don't have to do anything about it. 0.96

02:42:20.000 Like, you know, you have to stop this.

02:42:22.000 Like, these people are being victimized. 0.91

02:42:24.000 This is child porn. 0.97

02:42:25.000 It's crazy. 0.99

02:42:26.000 Yeah, and...

02:42:28.000 Barry because of his own past, because of his own... 0.97

02:42:31.000 his history of being raped and abused. 0.99

02:42:36.000 You know, I fucking loved that guy. 1.00

02:42:39.000 He was... 0.98

02:42:40.000 When I started out in comedy, he was the boogeyman in a good way.

02:42:44.000 Like, he was the guy that kept everybody in line because he was, like, very politically savvy, very intelligent, and very...

02:42:51.000 He hated hacks. 0.95

02:42:53.000 He hated liars, and he hated joke thieves. 0.90

02:42:56.000 Right. 0.94

02:42:59.000 We're good to go.

02:43:20.000 And then you had Barry Crimmins, who was this also brilliant comedian, but had a moral compass and an ethical compass and understood the political world in a way that these guys didn't.

02:43:31.000 And he was the guy.

02:43:33.000 When that guy was nice to me, I was like...

02:43:36.000 Yeah.

02:43:38.000 Like, really?

02:43:39.000 I was nervous, man. 0.96

02:43:40.000 He was the guy I was fucking nervous about when I was starting out in Boston. 0.95

02:43:43.000 Yeah.

02:43:45.000 And you kind of need a person like that in a scene.

02:43:49.000 You do.

02:43:50.000 But Neuralink is a little scary, too, because you're putting a chip in your head.

02:43:54.000 Yeah, but it's all scary, man.

02:43:56.000 You got a chip in your pocket.

02:43:57.000 That's a good point. 1.00

02:43:58.000 You got a thing on your fucking table right now. 1.00

02:44:00.000 Sign me up. 1.00

02:44:00.000 I'm ready. 1.00

02:44:00.000 You're addicted to Clubhouse. 1.00

02:44:02.000 I'm addicted.

02:44:03.000 The way you feel about Neuralink, I feel about Clubhouse.

02:44:05.000 I believe that'll save us.

02:44:06.000 It might.

02:44:07.000 No.

02:44:07.000 It might.

02:44:08.000 It might.

02:44:09.000 Probably not.

02:44:09.000 All of it might.

02:44:10.000 I think we're in this tumultuous period where we're working these things out.

02:44:16.000 But I think ultimately we're going to figure it out.

02:44:19.000 I've always been an optimist.

02:44:22.000 As much as I've been a critic of things, I'm very optimistic.

02:44:26.000 I genuinely love people.

02:44:29.000 Right.

02:44:29.000 As much as people are mean and people are vicious, I think a lot of that is because they're scared and they're sad and they're angry and they're failures and they don't have their own shit together.

02:44:39.000 I think that's what causes people to lash out and lie and attack and all the different things that people do that are so problematic and so... 0.99

02:44:49.000 They're so gross.

02:44:52.000 But I think all that is based on fear. 0.90

02:44:55.000 If you can give people...

02:44:58.000 A low-level, like a micro-dose of ecstasy all the time.

02:45:03.000 Just a micro-dose of MDMA. Just enough to be like, it doesn't matter.

02:45:09.000 What's important, really?

02:45:11.000 These insecurities that keep us clashing with each other, that's mostly what it is.

02:45:16.000 If we could just be nice to each other, the real problems of life is...

02:45:22.000 They're not as big as we think they are.

02:45:25.000 We can work out most other than health, death, injuries, violence.

02:45:33.000 Other than those, maybe when I skip the line at Whataburger, I'm doing it out of fear.

02:45:39.000 Yeah.

02:45:39.000 You're scared to go hungry.

02:45:41.000 And I have to evolve to realize that I can't come from that scarcity mindset.

02:45:45.000 Whoever that person is that ratted Tim Dillon out, reach out to us.

02:45:48.000 Find us.

02:45:49.000 Please reach out to us.

02:45:50.000 We'll have you on.

02:45:50.000 Imagine just like Governor Rabbit.

02:45:56.000 It's Ted Cruz!

02:45:57.000 It's Ted Cruz!

02:45:58.000 It's Ted Cruz and his daughters.

02:45:59.000 Ted Cruz and his daughters on the way to Cancun.

02:46:02.000 Just wanted a quick cheeseburger.

02:46:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:46:03.000 You piece of shit. 1.00

02:46:04.000 Fuck him. 1.00

02:46:06.000 So, are you stuck here? 1.00

02:46:08.000 No, I'm leaving tomorrow morning, supposedly.

02:46:09.000 Hopefully.

02:46:10.000 It's 7 a.m.

02:46:10.000 You really have a flight?

02:46:11.000 7 a.m.

02:46:12.000 Going over to Providence.

02:46:13.000 Nice.

02:46:14.000 All right.

02:46:15.000 Going to Boston.

02:46:16.000 Thank you.

02:46:16.000 Listen, I'm glad you're here, brother.

02:46:17.000 Of course.

02:46:17.000 Gonna have fun.

02:46:18.000 Thank you, buddy.

02:46:19.000 I'm really glad you're here.

02:46:19.000 I'm excited to be here.

02:46:20.000 It means a lot.

02:46:21.000 All right, buddy.

02:46:21.000 Goodbye, everyone.

02:46:23.000 Bye-bye.

The Joe Rogan Experience - February 20, 2021

Joe Rogan Experience #1610 - Snowpacalypse with Tim Dillon

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript