The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1642 - Andrew Santino

00:00:14.000 Big boss, huh?

00:00:16.000 You like his man bun?

00:00:17.000 No.

00:00:18.000 I've been trying to shave his head for six months.

00:00:20.000 I don't like it either.

00:00:22.000 Why don't you get a pair of trimmers? 0.98

00:00:24.000 You look like one of the guys from Mortal Kombat, that movie I just fucking watched. 0.98

00:00:27.000 You look like one of those... 1.00

00:00:27.000 Just buzz that motherfucker and wear cool hats. 1.00

00:00:31.000 What's the deal? 1.00

00:00:32.000 Why are you growing it out so much?

00:00:33.000 Roll the film on this.

00:00:35.000 We're going.

00:00:36.000 Why?

00:00:36.000 Yeah, when I walked in and I didn't even recognize him.

00:00:39.000 I was like, who's that cutie?

00:00:40.000 Who's that cute girl over there? 1.00

00:00:41.000 That's how I actually started working for Joe.

00:00:42.000 I had hair this long.

00:00:43.000 It's actually longer when I started working for him.

00:00:45.000 There's something about when it gets all gray, though, that you're supposed to cut it real short.

00:00:48.000 You can't have gray, long hair.

00:00:50.000 Then you're either a drug dealer or you're running a cult. 0.98

00:00:53.000 You do look like you sell coke. 0.77

00:00:54.000 Is there not a moment in the morning where you're embarrassed that you have to put a little tie up every time? 0.96

00:01:00.000 Why don't you shave your head?

00:01:01.000 Just get some trimmers that give you a little buzz.

00:01:04.000 I want to do it.

00:01:06.000 Why not?

00:01:07.000 Because it's easy.

00:01:07.000 I know.

00:01:08.000 That's the thing.

00:01:09.000 I shaved my head today.

00:01:11.000 I just got the little trimmers.

00:01:12.000 Buzz it out.

00:01:13.000 Gave myself a buzz.

00:01:14.000 It took about five minutes.

00:01:15.000 I didn't.

00:01:15.000 I know you're good.

00:01:16.000 That's what I'm saying. 0.98

00:01:18.000 You ought to put a rubber band in your head. 0.99

00:01:19.000 That's preposterous. 0.98

00:01:20.000 All right, look, this is the last I'll say about it.

00:01:22.000 I'm being real.

00:01:22.000 I love you.

00:01:23.000 I'm not making fun of you.

00:01:24.000 I love you, too.

00:01:24.000 Because you know I love you.

00:01:25.000 I love you, too.

00:01:25.000 But let me say this.

00:01:26.000 What's up?

00:01:27.000 Do you do it because you think chicks like it? 1.00

00:01:28.000 No, no, no.

00:01:29.000 I just haven't been to a barber.

00:01:30.000 Literally, I went to do it before the pandemic started.

00:01:34.000 Yeah.

00:01:34.000 We went to Vegas, and I planned on doing it in Vegas.

00:01:37.000 Right.

00:01:37.000 I just didn't get a chance to go that day.

00:01:39.000 Right. 0.95

00:01:40.000 And then we came back the next week, and there was no barbers available for Boring ass excuse. 0.99

00:01:44.000 Let's go out and get lit up tonight and let's shave your head. 0.99

00:01:46.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:01:46.000 Come on, dude. 0.99

00:01:47.000 I thought about doing it the last couple of days.

00:01:48.000 I'm just like, I haven't done it yet.

00:01:49.000 Let's do it here.

00:01:50.000 I bet you they got a razor.

00:01:51.000 Let's do it here, baby.

00:01:52.000 Nah, I can't.

00:01:52.000 Nah.

00:01:52.000 Let's make history right now.

00:01:53.000 Yeah, let's do some razor blades in there. 1.00

00:01:55.000 It's not that exciting.

00:01:55.000 Let's NFT your hair, Jamie.

00:01:57.000 Okay, now we're talking about it. 1.00

00:02:00.000 Let's carve some lightning bolts in there and shit. 1.00

00:02:02.000 Hell yeah, bro. 0.99

00:02:03.000 I thought I would have a pretty cool mullet if I cut it right right now, too.

00:02:07.000 But that's taken by some people.

00:02:09.000 Yeah, you don't want to step on Theo's toes.

00:02:11.000 Hey, man, Jamie, I saw that mullet, man.

00:02:13.000 You can't claim a mullet.

00:02:15.000 You don't own a mullet.

00:02:16.000 Theo owns the mullet right now.

00:02:17.000 But he doesn't.

00:02:18.000 He's like the mullet king of the comedy world. 0.56

00:02:20.000 Yeah.

00:02:21.000 In our comedy world, who has a mullet that can compete?

00:02:24.000 Foxworthy was the original.

00:02:25.000 Yeah, he had a mullet, right?

00:02:27.000 Yeah, Foxworthy was the original mullet god.

00:02:29.000 Who else has one?

00:02:31.000 Any lesbian ladies? 1.00

00:02:33.000 As opposed to what?

00:02:34.000 Lesbian men? 0.94

00:02:35.000 Yeah, lesbian dudes. 1.00

00:02:36.000 There's a couple of lesbian dude comics.

00:02:39.000 Who had a mullet back in the day?

00:02:41.000 Did Larry the Cable Guy have one?

00:02:42.000 No.

00:02:43.000 No, he always had a baseball hat on.

00:02:45.000 Yeah.

00:02:46.000 No, Foxworthy was the original mullet king.

00:02:49.000 And man, if for some reason he pulled it off, he still looked cool anyway.

00:02:52.000 It didn't matter for some reason.

00:02:53.000 Well, he's got great jokes.

00:02:55.000 See?

00:02:56.000 If the jokes are good, nobody cares about all the other stuff.

00:02:59.000 If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck. 0.95

00:03:04.000 Stack a TV on a TV. Yeah.

00:03:07.000 He was great, man.

00:03:08.000 I mean, he still is.

00:03:09.000 I don't know what he's doing.

00:03:10.000 He had a shtick, and he was a really good comic.

00:03:14.000 You know, like, he had a lot going on there.

00:03:16.000 And it was also like, they figured something out with that Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

00:03:19.000 There's like a whole untapped market.

00:03:22.000 Yeah.

00:03:23.000 That was the first click of a Seinfeld mullet.

00:03:28.000 That's like an 80's cool guy look.

00:03:31.000 They said it's a cross between his mullet and chunky sneakers.

00:03:37.000 Can I make fun of that?

00:03:38.000 Can we talk about that?

00:03:39.000 He wears like a suit coat and jeans and then like the biggest Nikes.

00:03:43.000 He wears like the Nike shocks all the time.

00:03:45.000 He loves those.

00:03:46.000 He loves those?

00:03:46.000 Get this guy some Stan Smiths or something, man.

00:03:49.000 It's so weird.

00:03:50.000 What's a Stan Smith?

00:03:50.000 Just the old school.

00:03:51.000 These, like these.

00:03:52.000 Just regular sneakers.

00:03:53.000 Oh, okay.

00:03:53.000 Just like a dude.

00:03:54.000 I never understood that about Seinfeld.

00:03:56.000 He's dressed up, but he's dressed down.

00:03:57.000 He wants to be like, I'm business, but still playful.

00:04:00.000 Well, there's some guys who can pull off that suit with a nice pair of sneakers look.

00:04:05.000 Yeah.

00:04:05.000 But those are chunky.

00:04:06.000 Pull up the ones, you know, the Nike Shocks.

00:04:08.000 He wears those all the time.

00:04:09.000 They're just too big and it just looks like a white guy from Long Island who wants to...

00:04:17.000 That is, there's a weird look, right?

00:04:19.000 The suit with sneakers on.

00:04:21.000 I just, it's not my, I just, just put on, get on some nice dress shoes.

00:04:24.000 Oh, or by the way, they make dress shoes that are sneakers now.

00:04:26.000 Right.

00:04:26.000 They're like transitional.

00:04:28.000 Yes.

00:04:28.000 Yeah.

00:04:29.000 You can get both ways.

00:04:30.000 Can I say that?

00:04:31.000 Transitional shoes?

00:04:31.000 They're trans shoes?

00:04:32.000 Yes.

00:04:32.000 Transitional shoes?

00:04:32.000 You can say that.

00:04:33.000 You're allowed to say that about shoes.

00:04:35.000 I didn't know.

00:04:35.000 Yeah, they're just shoes.

00:04:35.000 For now.

00:04:36.000 For now, yeah.

00:04:37.000 But it might change.

00:04:38.000 Don't, don't assume the gender of my shoes, Joe.

00:04:40.000 You don't know.

00:04:41.000 Are there girly shoes?

00:04:43.000 But right, though?

00:04:44.000 Aren't there?

00:04:44.000 There's gender neutral shoes.

00:04:45.000 How come when I buy shoes online that says women's shoes and men's shoes?

00:04:49.000 Sizing.

00:04:49.000 Right, but it says...

00:04:50.000 But even still, because they give you man sizes on there, don't they?

00:04:53.000 Like a girl's... 0.99

00:04:54.000 But why do they make girls feel like they have bigger feet? 1.00

00:04:56.000 Because a girl's size 9 is a man's size 7. Correct. 0.99

00:05:00.000 Not to just make it size 7. All the same.

00:05:02.000 Yeah.

00:05:03.000 See?

00:05:03.000 Because like Chucks, which are probably my favorite, that's what they do.

00:05:07.000 You know, girls size 9. Guys size 7. Right.

00:05:13.000 Yeah.

00:05:14.000 So my size 11, the girls would be... 1.00

00:05:16.000 They would make a girl feel like she's got giant-ass feet. 1.00

00:05:18.000 It would be a girl size 13. You know? 0.91

00:05:22.000 Like them basketball player girls, they must have like... 1.00

00:05:25.000 20s.

00:05:25.000 20s, yeah.

00:05:26.000 Yeah, because if a girl has a LeBron-sized foot, right? 1.00

00:05:30.000 Imagine.

00:05:31.000 Probably know what he does, but if they did, what does he have, like an 18 or something?

00:05:35.000 I don't know.

00:05:35.000 A LeBron-sized girl, probably.

00:05:37.000 Well, what does Shaq have like a 22?

00:05:39.000 Yeah, very big.

00:05:39.000 22. 22 is his.

00:05:41.000 Okay, so a girl would have like a 24. Like, what the fuck, man? 1.00

00:05:44.000 That's massive. 1.00

00:05:44.000 Leave her alone. 1.00

00:05:45.000 Two feet, two feet.

00:05:48.000 I gotta tell you, I'm not gonna lie.

00:05:50.000 When girls have big feet, there's something so hot about it. 1.00

00:05:54.000 Really?

00:05:54.000 Big feet is crazy hot to me.

00:05:56.000 I don't know why.

00:05:59.000 Especially when I was young, I liked big girls with big feet. 1.00

00:06:02.000 Wow.

00:06:03.000 Yeah, I was into it.

00:06:04.000 I liked thick chicks with big feet. 1.00

00:06:05.000 I had a thing for thick ankles for a while.

00:06:07.000 Oh, you like ankles?

00:06:08.000 I dated a girl in high school that had thick ankles and she was pretty hot. 1.00

00:06:11.000 Where it looks like her calf just goes into her shoe. 0.92

00:06:13.000 She just had large ankles. 1.00

00:06:15.000 She was sturdy.

00:06:17.000 Yeah, she was grounded.

00:06:18.000 She was pretty. 0.97

00:06:18.000 Beautiful girl. 0.97

00:06:19.000 She had sturdy ankles.

00:06:20.000 Did she play softball? 0.58

00:06:22.000 Did she play volleyball? 0.94

00:06:23.000 No, she did gymnastics.

00:06:25.000 I think it was just the way she was built. 0.99

00:06:27.000 Some girls are just sturdier. 1.00

00:06:29.000 She looked like she might be able to put up a good fist fight against you. 1.00

00:06:31.000 Yeah, she'll probably fuck you up if you got her mad. 1.00

00:06:34.000 Don't piss her off, dude. 1.00

00:06:35.000 You ever see that video of the drunk girl in the bar? 0.92

00:06:38.000 She's short, but really wide and fat, and she's throwing some dude around. 1.00

00:06:43.000 She throws this dude around, he falls down, he gets back up, she throws him again. 0.90

00:06:48.000 I think it's on Snoop's page right now.

00:06:51.000 I am such a giant fan of Snoop Dogg's Instagram.

00:06:54.000 I go there every day looking for nonsense.

00:06:56.000 Him and Freddie Gibbs have the best Instagrams, by far.

00:06:59.000 But doesn't Freddie Gibbs keep getting kicked offline?

00:07:01.000 Yeah, all the time. 0.97

00:07:02.000 They ban him from being too fucking funny. 0.99

00:07:04.000 He always puts YPPO, white people, white people. 0.98

00:07:07.000 Whenever some white guy's doing something, like there was a guy, he put up a video the other day of a dude at a hotel. 0.99

00:07:13.000 It's like a Marriott Suites or some shit. 0.98

00:07:15.000 And he's like, he's recording. 0.96

00:07:17.000 He's like, why did you hit the computer?

00:07:18.000 Why did you hit your computer?

00:07:19.000 Why are you freaking out? 0.99

00:07:20.000 And it's like this weirdo white kid is like all like inside of himself and he starts hitting himself in the face. 0.97

00:07:25.000 Have you seen that? 0.99

00:07:28.000 That's a disease though. 1.00

00:07:29.000 That guy's got a mental illness. 1.00

00:07:30.000 Something's wrong. 0.99

00:07:31.000 And he starts bawling and the dude's like, this is who works here, huh?

00:07:34.000 And then Freddie just wrote white people. 1.00

00:07:37.000 I love that shit. 1.00

00:07:39.000 Why people? 1.00

00:07:39.000 What do you got there, Jamie? 1.00

00:07:40.000 Oh, that's it.

00:07:41.000 That's it right there.

00:07:42.000 There she is. 1.00

00:07:43.000 Fucking that dude up. 1.00

00:07:43.000 That's what I'm talking about. 1.00

00:07:44.000 Look at the ankles on that girl. 1.00

00:07:45.000 That's a thick lady. 1.00

00:07:46.000 Look at how hard she throws that dude. 1.00

00:07:48.000 She knows how to throw her fucking weight around. 1.00

00:07:50.000 Look at her pushing that guy around. 1.00

00:07:51.000 Look at the throw.

00:07:52.000 And look how the other dude slams into her and nothing happens.

00:07:55.000 She doesn't even bother.

00:07:55.000 That's my favorite part.

00:07:56.000 Watch.

00:07:56.000 What guy slams into her?

00:07:57.000 Nothing.

00:07:58.000 Nothing.

00:07:59.000 Sturdy base.

00:07:59.000 Very sturdy base.

00:08:00.000 Like she did judo or something.

00:08:02.000 Yeah.

00:08:02.000 She threw him around like Steven Seagal.

00:08:04.000 Look at that shit. 1.00

00:08:05.000 That's what you get for cutting in line. 1.00

00:08:06.000 She was pissed. 1.00

00:08:07.000 She's like, you motherfuckers are not getting before me! 1.00

00:08:09.000 It's hilarious. 1.00

00:08:10.000 That dude went down hard.

00:08:11.000 I love Snoop.

00:08:12.000 I love Snoop's Instagram.

00:08:14.000 Snoop has transcended so many things.

00:08:16.000 To go from a guy who was like, had a murder charge in a gang, an actual gang member, right?

00:08:23.000 Growing up in Long Beach, and then becoming someone that's like, my grandmother loves him.

00:08:27.000 He hangs out with Martha Stewart.

00:08:28.000 Yeah, my grandmother thinks he's hilarious.

00:08:30.000 She's like, I love Snoopy Dogg.

00:08:31.000 Who doesn't love him?

00:08:31.000 You commented on this in 2019. Oh my god!

00:08:44.000 100% not.

00:08:45.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

00:08:49.000 Shout out to her for having that kind of skill.

00:08:51.000 It's funny when I forget I've commented on things.

00:08:53.000 Not the first time I've...

00:08:54.000 No, it's not the first.

00:08:55.000 There's a great one right now on Josh Thompson, the former MMA fighter commentator for Bellator now.

00:09:02.000 He's got one on his page now where they're interviewing this lady, and she's talking about how this woman was supposed... 0.99

00:09:09.000 The cops are talking to this lady. 1.00

00:09:11.000 She's saying this lady sold her some crack, but it wasn't crack.

00:09:14.000 It was actually plaster, and she wants her $20 back.

00:09:18.000 She's very upset.

00:09:19.000 It gets better.

00:09:20.000 She's telling the cops she was going to buy crack? 0.97

00:09:22.000 But watch this because it gets better.

00:09:24.000 It gets better.

00:09:28.000 Restart it because it went too far.

00:09:32.000 For what?

00:09:33.000 For anything.

00:09:34.000 I don't care.

00:09:34.000 Whatever it's for, but she can give me my money back if she ain't gonna do nothing with it.

00:09:38.000 Okay, were you planning to buy some drugs or something?

00:09:40.000 Yes, I was.

00:09:40.000 What kind of drugs were you wanting to buy?

00:09:42.000 Rock.

00:09:42.000 Rock?

00:09:43.000 Yes, I was.

00:09:44.000 You gave her $20 to buy.

00:09:45.000 I gave her $20.

00:09:45.000 She gave me some plaster.

00:09:47.000 And now you want your $20 back because she didn't supply you with crack cocaine. 1.00

00:09:51.000 Well, if she shouldn't give me nothing, no plaster, nothing.

00:09:54.000 She should have said no.

00:09:55.000 What's going on? 1.00

00:10:20.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

00:10:25.000 Dude, that was like an M. Night Shyamalan film. 1.00

00:10:27.000 That was the greatest twist I've ever seen.

00:10:30.000 I didn't see that coming at all.

00:10:32.000 It was.

00:10:33.000 I thought for sure... 0.99

00:10:34.000 I'm a prostitute! 1.00

00:10:36.000 What a good job. 0.99

00:10:37.000 I don't know.

00:10:38.000 Don't disrespect my child.

00:10:38.000 Don't disrespect my child like that.

00:10:40.000 I'm a prostitute, okay? 0.99

00:10:41.000 Jesus Christ. 0.86

00:10:42.000 I don't sell drugs.

00:10:43.000 I sell this drug.

00:10:45.000 Actually, that's a drug, ma'am. 0.97

00:10:47.000 I saw Cejudo commented on it.

00:10:49.000 Cejudo said something on the side.

00:10:50.000 I didn't see what he said, but he had commented on the video.

00:10:53.000 Whose page was that?

00:10:54.000 Josh Thompson's.

00:10:55.000 Oh, yeah.

00:10:56.000 There's a never-ending supply of those videos.

00:10:58.000 I know, man.

00:10:59.000 That's the beautiful thing about being online. 1.00

00:11:01.000 There's so much shit you can laugh at. 0.99

00:11:04.000 All the negative shit online, there's more of that fun stuff. 1.00

00:11:06.000 You just have to keep going and looking for it and get away from all the bullshit online. 1.00

00:11:09.000 Just stay off Twitter. 0.99

00:11:10.000 Let me ask you a real question.

00:11:12.000 I saw that Jake Paul kid chirping at your boy DC. Yes.

00:11:17.000 What's the deal?

00:11:18.000 Well, he wants to make some money.

00:11:19.000 No, I know.

00:11:20.000 He's a good showman.

00:11:21.000 He's a very clever fellow.

00:11:21.000 But what did DC say to him?

00:11:23.000 DC said, take my fucking name out of your mouth. 1.00

00:11:26.000 I'm not a kid. 1.00

00:11:27.000 I will fuck you up. 1.00

00:11:28.000 And he was like, Ikes. 1.00

00:11:31.000 Fucking former UFC heavyweight champion in the world. 0.99

00:11:34.000 That's not what you want. 1.00

00:11:36.000 But shout out, I will say, this fucking kid knows how to piss everybody off. 1.00

00:11:40.000 He's so good at it. 1.00

00:11:41.000 Let me tell you something, dude. 1.00

00:11:42.000 We were in Florida, in Jacksonville, sold out arena, and they were all chanting, Fuck Jake Paul! 1.00

00:11:49.000 Fuck Jake Paul! 1.00

00:11:50.000 He's filming it. 1.00

00:11:51.000 Oh, he's loving it.

00:11:52.000 He's got his phone out, he's like, yeah!

00:11:53.000 Because you know what he's hearing?

00:11:54.000 Money.

00:11:55.000 Jake Paul!

00:11:56.000 Jake Paul!

00:11:57.000 No, he's hearing cha-ching! 0.56

00:11:58.000 Yeah, the whole time.

00:11:59.000 Cha-ching! 1.00

00:12:00.000 He's making so much money, dude.

00:12:01.000 Now, be genuine.

00:12:02.000 He said there was 1.5 million pay-per-view buys when he knocked out Ben Askren.

00:12:06.000 I don't know if that's true.

00:12:08.000 Dana White says it's nonsense, but maybe he doesn't. 0.99

00:12:11.000 I mean, who has the fucking receipts? 0.99

00:12:13.000 If he's telling the truth... 0.99

00:12:14.000 And you know, if he's lying, why didn't he say 2 million?

00:12:16.000 Why didn't he say 3 million?

00:12:17.000 Why did he say 1.5?

00:12:18.000 I mean, maybe he's telling the truth. 0.95

00:12:20.000 If he's telling the truth, they made a fucking considerable amount of money.

00:12:23.000 And that's bigger by more than double the very legitimate three-fight, three-title-fight UFC card of this past weekend. 0.85

00:12:32.000 Because that apparently got 700,000 buys.

00:12:36.000 Granted, these are 700,000 ESPN plus verified absolute buys. 0.93

00:12:43.000 There's no bullshit. 0.91

00:12:44.000 Right. 0.95

00:12:45.000 You know, this whole Triller Fight Club thing is like, you know, you got like rap music and a bunch of other shit and you got this Triller company, which a friend of mine who works in finance explained to me what Triller was.

00:12:56.000 The Triller, verify this, see if this is true.

00:12:59.000 They were originally poised, they put together a company.

00:13:04.000 I don't know if this is true.

00:13:04.000 This is just what my friend told me.

00:13:07.000 And my friends are very smart.

00:13:09.000 They put together this company because TikTok was about to be banned from the United States.

00:13:13.000 And when TikTok was about to be banned, and Josh Rogan, the journalist, explained to us that clusterfuck, that they almost had it banned, but then they tried to capitalize on it and make money and sell it to Oracles. 0.99

00:13:26.000 Crazy shit. 0.95

00:13:26.000 But anyway, Triller was set to take over, like, hey, we're the new TikTok. 0.95

00:13:32.000 So they got a bunch of money together, and then the Justice Department or whoever decided not to ban TikTok.

00:13:38.000 The thing fell apart.

00:13:40.000 TikTok's still here.

00:13:41.000 So then they said, we're going to put on fights.

00:13:44.000 I don't know if that's true.

00:13:45.000 Close.

00:13:46.000 Very close.

00:13:47.000 It was already an app going around that was a very small competitor to TikTok, based almost just on hip hop music only.

00:13:53.000 And then they expanded into video, other stuff, and then that happened.

00:13:57.000 They were used because they were the only US competitor.

00:14:00.000 So then they negotiated a deal with Mike Tyson to fight Roy Jones Jr. Right.

00:14:06.000 And that was this gigantic, huge fight.

00:14:08.000 That got over a million buys, I believe, right?

00:14:10.000 I think so.

00:14:10.000 That's huge.

00:14:11.000 And I believe that. 0.99

00:14:12.000 I mean, everybody wanted to see what the fuck was happening there. 0.86

00:14:14.000 And then Mike Tyson recently said he wants nothing to do with them. 0.96

00:14:18.000 He's not doing anything with them anymore.

00:14:19.000 Why?

00:14:20.000 Did something happen?

00:14:21.000 I don't know.

00:14:21.000 I wonder.

00:14:22.000 The money wasn't...

00:14:23.000 Did something happen with the money?

00:14:24.000 I've no idea.

00:14:25.000 Maybe he got a better offer somewhere else.

00:14:27.000 Maybe they didn't do him justice.

00:14:29.000 So was the app like, Jamie, is the app like how TikTok is?

00:14:32.000 Is that what it was? 0.91

00:14:33.000 Like you upload videos and all that shit? 0.72

00:14:35.000 I think like, you know, the rapper DaBaby. 0.80

00:14:38.000 I was going to say that wrong.

00:14:39.000 You sound like my dad.

00:14:40.000 You sound so wild.

00:14:41.000 The rapper DaBaby.

00:14:42.000 I was going to say DaBaby.

00:14:43.000 I didn't want to stutter over the words, but he was using that instead of TikTok, and that's how his songs were getting big a year or two ago.

00:14:49.000 Oh, Triller?

00:14:51.000 He was using Triller? 0.99

00:14:51.000 And I feel like people were telling him, you should be on TikTok, and he's like, fuck that, I'm using Triller. 0.99

00:14:55.000 And the reason that the TikTok thing was going to get curbed was because they believed that it was, because it's a Chinese app, so they're like...

00:15:00.000 Exactly.

00:15:00.000 But the TikTok that we use, their servers are all U.S. servers.

00:15:04.000 That's why that was gone away.

00:15:06.000 I'm almost positive that's what I heard was our TikTok that we use here from our...

00:15:11.000 So it's our government spying on us.

00:15:13.000 Correct.

00:15:13.000 So it's not the Chinese government.

00:15:14.000 Correct.

00:15:15.000 So we're okay.

00:15:15.000 Yeah, they're okay.

00:15:16.000 It's not communist.

00:15:17.000 It's okay if it's us.

00:15:18.000 You guys can't do it, but we're going to do it.

00:15:21.000 It's all so wacky.

00:15:22.000 You know how people cover up their cameras on their laptops?

00:15:25.000 Do you do that up there on that laptop?

00:15:27.000 I do, but I open it up when I jerk off. 0.63

00:15:29.000 Me too. 0.91

00:15:29.000 And I stare right into it. 0.91

00:15:31.000 Come watch.

00:15:32.000 And I go, Joe.

00:15:32.000 Woo!

00:15:33.000 Joey Biden.

00:15:34.000 Woo! 0.99

00:15:36.000 I never understood that.

00:15:37.000 This is recording at all times.

00:15:40.000 Yes.

00:15:40.000 So what's the difference?

00:15:42.000 Are you going to cover up your camera?

00:15:42.000 They're all listening to you the whole time.

00:15:44.000 There's a lot of things that could record you at all times.

00:15:47.000 Fine.

00:15:48.000 What are you going to do? 1.00

00:15:49.000 Just don't be a piece of shit. 1.00

00:15:51.000 Just accept it. 1.00

00:15:52.000 Just accept that they're going to get you.

00:15:54.000 Well, I mean, who is they?

00:15:55.000 And if they do get you, then they have to admit that they've been doing this the whole time with no warrant.

00:15:59.000 But that's the thing about the Patriot Act and the Patriot Act 2 and all that jazz.

00:16:04.000 They can just sort of randomly decide that you're a threat to the republic.

00:16:08.000 Totally.

00:16:09.000 Could you be a threat to the public?

00:16:11.000 The White House commented on what I said about vaccines.

00:16:15.000 It's so funny.

00:16:16.000 Fauci hit you up.

00:16:18.000 Well, he didn't hit me up necessarily.

00:16:19.000 He disagreed with me.

00:16:21.000 Right.

00:16:21.000 Yeah.

00:16:22.000 I got vaxxed up, baby.

00:16:23.000 Did you?

00:16:24.000 I got one shot in the arm.

00:16:25.000 But didn't you already get COVID? Yeah, I had Rona.

00:16:27.000 I had it in October.

00:16:28.000 So why did you get a vaccination?

00:16:31.000 I'm a sheeple, dude.

00:16:32.000 I'm part of the sheep, dude.

00:16:33.000 I wanted it.

00:16:34.000 Because my antibodies, I think, were gone.

00:16:36.000 The last time we got tested for antibodies was three months after.

00:16:40.000 And they said they were there, but they weren't super strong.

00:16:42.000 So you're scared.

00:16:44.000 Yeah.

00:16:45.000 What'd you get, the Johnson& Johnson?

00:16:47.000 No, dude.

00:16:47.000 I'm a derna mama.

00:16:48.000 You only got one, though.

00:16:50.000 Yeah.

00:16:50.000 Why didn't you get two?

00:16:51.000 Because my second one is in like two weeks or a week.

00:16:53.000 They just have to spread you out a month.

00:16:55.000 Yeah, 21 days.

00:16:56.000 I got it.

00:16:56.000 Nothing...

00:16:57.000 No...

00:16:57.000 I don't know, man.

00:16:58.000 The whole thing...

00:16:59.000 Like, Corona for me was weird already.

00:17:01.000 So I was like, I don't know.

00:17:02.000 I'll just do that thing to not have it again.

00:17:03.000 I bought into the system.

00:17:05.000 I'm a sheep.

00:17:05.000 Well, it's not being a sheep.

00:17:07.000 It's...

00:17:08.000 I mean, there's some legitimate science behind this.

00:17:11.000 It's not...

00:17:12.000 This is like the thing about this whole thing, people being upset at me.

00:17:17.000 I didn't say, I'm not an anti-vax person.

00:17:21.000 In fact, I said, I believe they're safe, and I encourage many people to take them.

00:17:27.000 My parents were vaccinated.

00:17:28.000 I just said, I don't think that if you're a young, healthy person, that you need it.

00:17:33.000 Their argument was, you need it for other people.

00:17:36.000 So you don't transmit the virus.

00:17:37.000 That makes more sense.

00:17:39.000 But that's a different argument.

00:17:40.000 I'm a young, not so healthy person.

00:17:42.000 You're not that young.

00:17:43.000 Okay, Joe.

00:17:44.000 Thanks, man.

00:17:44.000 You're not.

00:17:45.000 Okay.

00:17:45.000 If you were a hot chick...

00:17:47.000 Then you'd say I was young.

00:17:48.000 I'd be like, you're on the ropes.

00:17:50.000 Am I backed up a little bit?

00:17:51.000 How old are you?

00:17:52.000 37. Yeah, you're on the ropes, bro.

00:17:54.000 What do you mean?

00:17:54.000 That's still young?

00:17:55.000 If you had no children and you're a hot chick, let's be honest. 0.98

00:17:59.000 I'm older now.

00:17:59.000 You're on the ropes.

00:18:00.000 Okay, fine.

00:18:01.000 It's not bad.

00:18:02.000 I'm getting older. 1.00

00:18:03.000 I'm old as fuck. 1.00

00:18:04.000 Yeah, you are. 1.00

00:18:04.000 Okay, I'm 53. I'm old as fuck. 1.00

00:18:07.000 I'm almost 20 years older than you. 1.00

00:18:08.000 When we celebrated your 50th birthday, we were in Detroit.

00:18:12.000 Where were we?

00:18:12.000 I forget.

00:18:13.000 And it hit me hard that you were 50. Yeah.

00:18:16.000 I was like, oh, my friend is 50. And I was starting to plan your funeral.

00:18:19.000 I was like, I was going through all that stuff.

00:18:21.000 I was like, what are we going to do?

00:18:23.000 Honestly, it doesn't bother me.

00:18:25.000 No, because why?

00:18:26.000 Because you're in such a great stride of your life. 1.00

00:18:28.000 Because I'm on fucking steroids. 1.00

00:18:29.000 Give them to me, bro. 1.00

00:18:31.000 I'm on testosterone replacement therapy and every vitamin known to man.

00:18:35.000 I take a giant athletic greens every day. 1.00

00:18:39.000 I take a fucking pallet of vitamins. 0.99

00:18:42.000 What do I need to take? 1.00

00:18:43.000 I feel fantastic.

00:18:44.000 What do I need to take?

00:18:45.000 I'm in the sauna every day.

00:18:46.000 Here's the thing.

00:18:46.000 All these people that are saying, in many ways, listen, here's the thing.

00:18:51.000 These are not planned statements.

00:18:53.000 Let's be real clear. 0.98

00:18:55.000 When I say something stupid, I'm not thinking about what I'm going to say before I say it. 0.99

00:18:59.000 I'm just saying it. 0.99

00:19:00.000 I don't have an off-air and on-air voice.

00:19:03.000 I don't.

00:19:04.000 I have me.

00:19:05.000 This is us.

00:19:06.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:19:07.000 I got through the fucking net and I'm swimming in open waters, okay? 0.99

00:19:12.000 And that's just how I live. 0.99

00:19:14.000 I don't, like, if you say you disagree with me, I probably disagree with me too.

00:19:19.000 I disagree with me all the time.

00:19:20.000 If you said, if someone said, yeah, young, healthy, 21-year-old people who eat well and exercise are not at high risk for coronavirus, but you should think about other people, I would say, well, that's a different argument, and yes, that makes sense.

00:19:36.000 But I would say, aren't those people vaccinated?

00:19:38.000 And shouldn't we vaccinate the vulnerable people? 0.88

00:19:40.000 And then we'd have a different conversation.

00:19:42.000 The problem is today, everything is all headlines and highlights and it's all clickbait, which is fine.

00:19:49.000 That's the business.

00:19:50.000 Listen, I have a deep respect for real journalism. 0.96

00:19:53.000 I love Glenn Greenwald and Matt Taibbi and people that stick their fucking neck out and do real journalism. 0.99

00:19:59.000 But there's a lot of people out there That have to make a fucking living. 0.97

00:20:03.000 And what's the best way to make a living? 0.99

00:20:05.000 Well, here's one way. 0.99

00:20:06.000 Take a jackass like me. 0.99

00:20:09.000 Go over their podcast. 1.00

00:20:11.000 Go over this three-hour, drunken, ridiculous podcast. 0.92

00:20:14.000 Do we drink with Dave? 0.96

00:20:16.000 Yeah.

00:20:16.000 No.

00:20:17.000 Dave Smith?

00:20:18.000 I don't know.

00:20:18.000 I don't think so.

00:20:19.000 No.

00:20:20.000 I don't think we drink.

00:20:21.000 I'd say no.

00:20:22.000 Probably not.

00:20:22.000 But that's unusual.

00:20:23.000 Yeah.

00:20:24.000 A lot of times we're drinking.

00:20:25.000 Every time I'm here.

00:20:26.000 Or we're high.

00:20:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:20:27.000 And I say stupid shit. 1.00

00:20:28.000 I get it. 1.00

00:20:29.000 And if you mine that and you make money off of that, more power to you.

00:20:34.000 Sure.

00:20:35.000 I don't care.

00:20:36.000 Yeah.

00:20:36.000 I'm happy for you.

00:20:37.000 Right.

00:20:38.000 But just don't lie.

00:20:39.000 Just don't lie.

00:20:40.000 Get a little click-baity, we're good.

00:20:42.000 That's okay.

00:20:43.000 But I'm not gonna lie.

00:20:44.000 Let me say one other thing.

00:20:45.000 I was going to get the vaccine.

00:20:47.000 I was scheduled to get the Johnson& Johnson vaccine.

00:20:50.000 The UFC had allocated a certain amount of vaccines for all their employees.

00:20:55.000 And so Dana said, do you want to come in and get the vaccine?

00:20:57.000 I said, sure.

00:20:58.000 What day?

00:20:58.000 And he said, we'll set one aside when you come in for the fights.

00:21:02.000 Come get vaccinated.

00:21:03.000 I said, okay, great.

00:21:04.000 I went in there.

00:21:04.000 I spoke to Dr. Davidson.

00:21:05.000 He said, the way the CDC has the vaccines allocated, we really have to do you at the clinic.

00:21:12.000 So can you come to the hospital?

00:21:14.000 And I said, I can't.

00:21:15.000 I don't have time.

00:21:16.000 He said, you'd have to come back on Monday.

00:21:18.000 I said, I'll work this out.

00:21:20.000 And then it got pulled.

00:21:21.000 Right.

00:21:22.000 Like right afterwards, the Johnson& Johnson thing got pulled, which...

00:21:25.000 Now, here's the thing. 0.93

00:21:27.000 Any medication, again, I'm not a doctor, I'm a fucking moron, and I'm a cage-fighting commentator who's a dirty stand-up comedian who just told you I'm drunk most of the time, and I do testosterone and I smoke a lot of weed, but I'm not a respected source of information, 0.97

00:21:44.000 even for me. 0.95

00:21:45.000 If I say things, I'm always going, check on that, Jamie.

00:21:48.000 I don't know if that's true.

00:21:49.000 I do that all the time.

00:21:52.000 I at least try to be honest about what I'm saying.

00:21:56.000 Or what you feel.

00:21:57.000 Yes!

00:21:58.000 Yeah, that's what it is.

00:21:59.000 Yeah!

00:21:59.000 You're allowed to feel, you're like, this is how I kind of feel.

00:22:03.000 My parents got both shots, nothing.

00:22:06.000 Same with mine.

00:22:07.000 Nothing.

00:22:07.000 Same thing.

00:22:08.000 My stepdad said he was tired for a day.

00:22:10.000 My parents felt nothing.

00:22:11.000 My mom's a gorilla. 1.00

00:22:13.000 She's like, literally, you can hit my mom with a meteor. 0.94

00:22:16.000 She's like, what happened?

00:22:18.000 Like, I had my mom get some stem cells from my doctor in Santa Monica.

00:22:22.000 He was like, dude, your mom doesn't even flinch. 0.99

00:22:24.000 I shoved this fucking giant needle in her knee and she just stares at me in the eyes. 1.00

00:22:28.000 He goes, it was actually kind of scary. 1.00

00:22:30.000 Do it again.

00:22:31.000 Meanwhile, I get freaked out when I have too much of a block.

00:22:34.000 I had tooth work done and they blocked my face.

00:22:36.000 Oh, you get numb?

00:22:37.000 Bro, but it's called a block.

00:22:39.000 And the block is where they have to numb one half of your face because they did so much work.

00:22:44.000 So you can't smile?

00:22:44.000 Oh, dude.

00:22:45.000 So you're like Stallone.

00:22:47.000 But it creeped up to my eye.

00:22:50.000 And at one point, I told her, I was like...

00:22:52.000 I pushed her away. 0.74

00:22:53.000 I was like, hey, this is like, it's like up to my eyeball now.

00:22:57.000 Like this part of my whole face.

00:22:58.000 She's like, yeah, I gave you the full block. 0.90

00:23:00.000 I was like, uh...

00:23:01.000 Why'd you do that, lady? 1.00

00:23:01.000 Yeah, I go, that was too much, man. 1.00

00:23:04.000 My fucking eye was like twitching. 0.99

00:23:06.000 And even like that, I was such a bitch about that I was like, uh... 0.99

00:23:09.000 And I learned, by the way, when they block you, they can only do one half of your mouth at a time. 0.95

00:23:13.000 Because apparently, they used to block both sides if they were doing a lot of dental work, and people would bite off their tongue.

00:23:19.000 They would sever their...

00:23:20.000 They'd go home and eat within an hour.

00:23:22.000 And not know you were chewing right through your tongue.

00:23:23.000 And I was like, how often that happens?

00:23:24.000 She's like, thousands of times. 1.00

00:23:26.000 People would bite off their whole fucking tongue. 1.00

00:23:29.000 I was like, no way. 1.00

00:23:30.000 Oh my god, I feel terrible.

00:23:32.000 So they had to...

00:23:32.000 So apparently, you know, whoever regulates the American Dental Association, you're only allowed to block half your face.

00:23:37.000 But I'm telling you, dude, I've never felt that way.

00:23:39.000 It was like... 0.99

00:23:41.000 She gave me a huge one because she had to get my wisdom teeth and fuck my whole side of my face. 1.00

00:23:48.000 Even though my eye was numb. 1.00

00:23:49.000 And I was a pussy about that. 0.99

00:23:50.000 With my parents, they've already lived through so much, that's why they don't get bothered by stuff. 1.00

00:23:55.000 Like your mom didn't flinch because she's like, I've lived through shit. 0.98

00:23:57.000 Well, our parents came over on a boat. 1.00

00:23:59.000 Yeah, I push people out of my pussy. 1.00

00:24:01.000 I'm not going to fucking freak out about your bullshit. 1.00

00:24:04.000 I think our parents are just too tough. 1.00

00:24:06.000 They've lived through...

00:24:06.000 My grandmother's 90, and she traveled during corona to see her sister.

00:24:10.000 And I said, Nana, aren't you a little scared?

00:24:12.000 And she was like, no.

00:24:13.000 My wife's grandma was skiing when she was in her 80s. 0.99

00:24:16.000 Didn't give a fuck. 0.99

00:24:17.000 Why? 0.99

00:24:17.000 They lived through it. 0.99

00:24:18.000 Yeah, they already did it.

00:24:20.000 They were like, I was before color TV. What the fuck do you mean? 0.99

00:24:24.000 Before all TV? Fuck color TV. Yeah, just the idea was just like, nothing matters. 1.00

00:24:29.000 She didn't care.

00:24:30.000 She was like, I'll be fine.

00:24:31.000 And if I'm not, I'm 90. Well, here's an expression.

00:24:33.000 I forget who said this to me, but I repeat it all the time, so I'm sorry if I don't give them credit.

00:24:38.000 But the worst thing that's ever happened to you is the worst thing that's ever happened to you.

00:24:42.000 Right.

00:24:42.000 Now you have to think about it.

00:24:43.000 If you're like Francis Ngannou, who was 10 years old working in a fucking sand mine in Cameroon, you know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:24:51.000 Yeah. 0.94

00:24:52.000 And you didn't have any money and you had to walk miles to school and you didn't have money for pencils and paper, that's the worst thing that's happened to you.

00:25:01.000 Or if somebody, you know, says something mean about you being maybe 10 pounds overweight and you're triggered.

00:25:08.000 Right.

00:25:09.000 Like, that's the worst thing that's happened to you.

00:25:10.000 But it's the worst thing that's happened to you.

00:25:12.000 Right.

00:25:13.000 It's still the worst thing.

00:25:14.000 Like, it's like, we judge everything on a curve.

00:25:16.000 So the worst thing that happened to you if it's a terrible atrocity or the worst thing that happened to you is, like, someone saying you're chubby.

00:25:24.000 Right.

00:25:24.000 We treat it like it's the same thing, because we live in a soft time.

00:25:29.000 It's easy to get by today.

00:25:31.000 Well, we also live in our own little bubble, right?

00:25:33.000 Like, we only know what we know, and we've only...

00:25:36.000 That phrase also, Matt, is the same meaning of, I can't relate to what it's like to grow up without a family in an orphanage struggling to eat.

00:25:45.000 I don't know what that pain is like. 0.53

00:25:46.000 I know what my shitty pains are like. 1.00

00:25:48.000 So everyone's shit is their own shit. 1.00

00:25:50.000 You don't know. 1.00

00:25:51.000 Us making fun of Jamie's man bun may be really riddling him for the rest of the podcast. 0.99

00:25:55.000 Jamie doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

00:25:56.000 Yeah, he doesn't give a shit. 1.00

00:25:58.000 Trust me. 1.00

00:25:58.000 Don't chew that gum so snarky at me, Jamie. 1.00

00:26:01.000 He's chewing neuro gum.

00:26:02.000 It makes you smarter. 1.00

00:26:03.000 He's ready to fuck with you. 1.00

00:26:04.000 Well, then you need a whole fucking box of that shit, Jamie. 1.00

00:26:06.000 Wow. 1.00

00:26:07.000 And a microdose.

00:26:08.000 Oh, you microdosed today too?

00:26:10.000 How is it?

00:26:11.000 You liking it?

00:26:11.000 Yeah.

00:26:12.000 I can't really feel it, so I don't know.

00:26:13.000 But it gives you like a nice, like, ah.

00:26:15.000 What are you dosing right now?

00:26:17.000 Yeah.

00:26:18.000 Yeah, but like what dosage?

00:26:20.000 It's, uh, I took three point, it says 0.14.

00:26:24.000 So, like the whole package was about an eighth and it broke up into 30 pieces.

00:26:29.000 This is all just information for the DEA. 100%.

00:26:32.000 Yeah.

00:26:33.000 When are they going to legalize that?

00:26:34.000 Jesus Christ, people.

00:26:35.000 Wait, didn't they in the Pacific Northwest?

00:26:37.000 Isn't it legal?

00:26:37.000 It is in Portland, in Oregon.

00:26:39.000 Oregon made mushrooms and everything else legal.

00:26:43.000 In Oregon, you can get steroids, you can get heroin, whatever.

00:26:49.000 Everything is decriminalized.

00:26:50.000 But meanwhile, you can also light the Capitol building on fire.

00:26:54.000 Well, if you got enough people. 0.89

00:26:55.000 In Oregon, the mayor of Portland, who was this staunch supporter of Antifa, is now like, they are thugs!

00:27:04.000 They're trying to ruin our city!

00:27:06.000 He's even given in!

00:27:07.000 They lit the lobby of his apartment building on fire, and he had to move out.

00:27:11.000 Oh, really?

00:27:12.000 Listen, here's my message to the mayor of Portland.

00:27:16.000 I think he's a good guy.

00:27:17.000 I really do.

00:27:18.000 I really do.

00:27:19.000 I think he just didn't understand the animal that he was dealing with. 1.00

00:27:22.000 He didn't understand that they want to burn to the ground because they're fucking losers. 1.00

00:27:26.000 Those people are fucking losers and they don't want society to exist. 1.00

00:27:31.000 They want everybody to be burned down to their level. 1.00

00:27:35.000 They want to dress in black and throw rocks through Starbucks and it doesn't make any sense because it doesn't have to make any sense because they found another tribe of losers. 0.97

00:27:44.000 They all get together and they all do the same thing. 0.83

00:27:46.000 They throw cement milkshakes at people, they beat up folks, they do their thing and it's fun because it's more fun than not doing that because they don't have anything.

00:27:55.000 Outside of that, do you remember there was a guy, it was either Seattle or Portland, who was this crazy Antifa guy who wound up shooting some other guy who was a member of this right-wing thing?

00:28:05.000 Do you remember that?

00:28:06.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yes.

00:28:07.000 Right.

00:28:07.000 Yeah.

00:28:07.000 And then there's this lady, just fat lady, like, you know, no respect for her body, in the middle of the street going, I don't give a damn if some fascist was killed tonight.

00:28:18.000 Like... 0.99

00:28:19.000 Is that where we're at?

00:28:20.000 Is that where we're at?

00:28:22.000 You don't want to talk to this person.

00:28:23.000 What does that even mean?

00:28:24.000 I don't understand.

00:28:24.000 It doesn't mean anything.

00:28:25.000 It's because it's nonsense. 0.99

00:28:26.000 Because you're being a fascist. 0.99

00:28:27.000 Right. 0.95

00:28:27.000 By your own actions and all the things you're doing. 0.95

00:28:30.000 Justifying murder.

00:28:31.000 Your own actions.

00:28:32.000 This whole thing.

00:28:33.000 Lighting other people's property on fire.

00:28:35.000 Smashing windows.

00:28:36.000 Pretending that Apple, like the Apple Store, is the cause of your problems.

00:28:40.000 Apple is literally supported...

00:28:42.000 All these organizations, they've literally said they support all these social justice organizations.

00:28:48.000 Apple's like a super progressive institution.

00:28:50.000 They're very progressive. 1.00

00:28:51.000 They're not the fucking man. 1.00

00:28:53.000 They're the enemy. 0.99

00:28:54.000 They're providing you with great electronics.

00:28:56.000 But then people see it as any form of capitalism, any form of capital growth, then they're bad.

00:29:00.000 Right, anyone who's doing better than you.

00:29:02.000 It's like you're playing a game and you can't win, so you unplug it and you light the board on fire.

00:29:07.000 I'm taking my ball home.

00:29:07.000 Yeah.

00:29:08.000 But you didn't even buy that ball.

00:29:10.000 Finally, the mayor of Portland's coming around.

00:29:13.000 He's realizing.

00:29:14.000 Oh, yeah!

00:29:14.000 He's doing press conferences.

00:29:16.000 He's like, we have to arrest these fucking people. 1.00

00:29:18.000 The mayor of Portland's telling people to snitch. 1.00

00:29:20.000 He's like, if you see people getting out of a car and they're all dressed in black, get the license plate.

00:29:25.000 Get it to the police.

00:29:26.000 Meanwhile, we defunded the police. 1.00

00:29:28.000 Shit! 1.00

00:29:29.000 Fuck, where do we go? 1.00

00:29:30.000 Shit! 1.00

00:29:32.000 Now that whole thing is pure kit. 1.00

00:29:34.000 Look at this.

00:29:34.000 Portland mayor asked residents to help unmask people behind violent protests.

00:29:39.000 Cut to 24 months from now.

00:29:42.000 Assassination squads. 1.00

00:29:43.000 They hire Blackwater to go and fucking gun down these people. 0.99

00:29:47.000 It just takes time. 0.99

00:29:49.000 It's like steps.

00:29:50.000 It's many steps.

00:29:51.000 When you look at these foreign governments that hire these mercenary crews to come in and get rid of dissidents, what do you think they're doing?

00:29:58.000 What do you think they're doing? 0.99

00:29:59.000 They're trying to get rid of the people that are fucking with them. 0.99

00:30:02.000 This is what's happening in Portland. 1.00

00:30:04.000 Someone's fucked. 0.99

00:30:04.000 And so he's using the legal method now. 0.99

00:30:07.000 Right now he's saying, we're just going to get the police and we're going to... 1.00

00:30:10.000 You defunded the fucking police! 1.00

00:30:14.000 You defanged them! 1.00

00:30:16.000 You demoralized them!

00:30:18.000 And now you need them.

00:30:19.000 Now you want them. 1.00

00:30:20.000 And listen, man, every time there's a video of the cops being cunts and treating someone like shit, I'm furious. 1.00

00:30:26.000 We all are. 1.00

00:30:26.000 There's a video on D.L. Hughley's page today of some piece of shit cop talking to these really cool black guys who are friendly with him, and these guys shake their hand, and he's like, I don't know you. 1.00

00:30:37.000 I've never seen you around. 1.00

00:30:38.000 The guy's being an asshole. 1.00

00:30:39.000 He goes, this is my city. 1.00

00:30:41.000 The guy literally says this. 1.00

00:30:42.000 So he's just a cop who's just an asshole. 1.00

00:30:44.000 You don't even need to see this, but... 1.00

00:30:47.000 Go see it if you want to.

00:30:49.000 Right. 1.00

00:30:49.000 But it's just a guy who's a dick. 1.00

00:30:51.000 And he's being a dick to some guys who are being pretty friendly with him. 1.00

00:30:54.000 Right. 0.98

00:30:55.000 Whereas another cop would be like, what's up, gentlemen?

00:30:57.000 How are we doing today?

00:30:58.000 What's going on?

00:30:59.000 And everybody would be all right.

00:31:00.000 You know what I mean?

00:31:01.000 The problem is there's...

00:31:02.000 The problem that I have that I see all the time is...

00:31:07.000 There are these cops that have always existed, that will always exist. 0.99

00:31:11.000 That, by the way, for people that don't believe in this kind of shit, that are like, nah, this is... 0.99

00:31:15.000 They've been talking about this for years. 1.00

00:31:17.000 I mean, Fuck the Police was a real anthem. 1.00

00:31:20.000 Coming straight from the underground. 1.00

00:31:22.000 They were saying it because they meant it. 0.99

00:31:23.000 Not because it was fucking for selling records. 1.00

00:31:26.000 They meant that shit. 1.00

00:31:27.000 When they were saying, these guys won't stop fucking with us, the reality is... 1.00

00:31:31.000 There's assholes in everything, right? 1.00

00:31:33.000 And the cops get empowered. 0.99

00:31:34.000 So a lot of guys that are assholes that are cops, which is not all cops, obviously, these guys, they've been empowered for so long to treat people the way they've treated them, so they get more and more and more, because that's okay. 0.98

00:31:47.000 That's okay for them. 0.99

00:31:48.000 It's like, this is how they have to deal with people, so they find it to be okay.

00:31:51.000 The problem is... 0.99

00:31:53.000 I wish there was more videos of good-ass fucking good cops doing good shit, helping community. 0.99

00:31:59.000 And there's a lot of them out there. 0.99

00:32:01.000 You know, there's a great video from Flint last year during the George Floyd protests where this one cop says, hey, we're gonna walk with you guys.

00:32:09.000 Yeah.

00:32:09.000 You know, he says, we're with you.

00:32:11.000 You know, we don't advocate police brutality, and we're with you, and they all hug each other. 0.98

00:32:16.000 It's fucking fantastic. 1.00

00:32:17.000 We need more of that shit. 1.00

00:32:18.000 They all walk together. 1.00

00:32:19.000 You know what, man?

00:32:21.000 Cops dealing with crime is like, let's say you have a forest filled with dry old trees that will light on fire easily and say, how are we going to take care of these forest fires?

00:32:33.000 Here's a garden hose.

00:32:35.000 Good luck.

00:32:35.000 Right.

00:32:36.000 That's what it's like.

00:32:37.000 Like, no, no, no.

00:32:37.000 The thing is the dry trees.

00:32:39.000 The thing is the conditions.

00:32:41.000 The thing is climate change.

00:32:42.000 The thing is, like, what is causing the fires?

00:32:44.000 That's the thing. 0.98

00:32:45.000 The thing is not a fucking garden hose, right? 0.99

00:32:47.000 So these cops are left in this unthankful position. 0.98

00:32:50.000 If you're a cop and you are working in any place that's got a high crime area, it's like, you kind of...

00:32:57.000 Reach a point of futility after a while where you realize you're not going to fix this.

00:33:00.000 You're not going to make a real impact in the community.

00:33:02.000 You just want to survive and get home to your family.

00:33:04.000 Right.

00:33:04.000 And I think they get jaded.

00:33:06.000 Of course they do.

00:33:06.000 I mean, I have cops in my family.

00:33:07.000 It's just the problem is it's so easy to throw out the word racist.

00:33:12.000 That's like an easy thing to say.

00:33:14.000 And, you know, like you said, all the LAPD is all racist.

00:33:17.000 You can look up the stats on it.

00:33:18.000 I think it's like 70%, 60-something percent of the cops in L.A. are Latino. 0.98

00:33:23.000 So it's like there's this idea that, like, all cops are white racist bigots. 0.95

00:33:26.000 You're like, that's not real. 1.00

00:33:29.000 But it just gets skewed down by this, the loud people going, every cop is a racist piece of shit. 1.00

00:33:34.000 Here's why. 1.00

00:33:35.000 Every racist cop is a racist. 0.99

00:33:38.000 Yeah, of course. 0.99

00:33:39.000 Of course. 0.98

00:33:40.000 So if you run into them, you're like, God damn it, another one. 1.00

00:33:43.000 They're all racist. 0.99

00:33:44.000 But I mean, that's the thing.

00:33:46.000 There's so many other people that work in law enforcement, friends and family, people that I know, that are really good people. 0.86

00:33:53.000 They're just trying to help a fucking community, and I don't know what the incentive for them to stay is. 0.83

00:33:57.000 If I'm a cop, I don't know what the incentive is anymore. 0.99

00:33:59.000 I'm scared of getting shot at just because I am a cop.

00:34:02.000 Of course.

00:34:03.000 I'm scared to really do my job, quote-unquote, whatever that's become now, because I don't know what's okay and what's not okay.

00:34:10.000 You can follow protocol, but any cop will tell you, There's a way that they deal with relationships and communities that we don't know about because it's not in the handbook.

00:34:18.000 Right.

00:34:18.000 So there's so many more...

00:34:21.000 There's so many misnomers in how these relationships coexist, but to blanket it all and be like, every cop's a piece of shit, every cop is racist. 1.00

00:34:27.000 What's that? 1.00

00:34:28.000 ACAB, all cops are bad. 0.96

00:34:29.000 You're like...

00:34:31.000 You can't say that about anything.

00:34:32.000 You can't say everything is everything. 0.82

00:34:34.000 But when you're accustomed, if you grow up in a community that's riddled with crime and gangs and drugs and violence and you're accustomed to cops being cunts, then you feel like you have to say that. 0.89

00:34:44.000 I get that.

00:34:45.000 Because all the interactions you've had with cops have been bad.

00:34:47.000 Yeah, it's like, fool me once, shame on you.

00:34:51.000 Right.

00:34:51.000 Fool me twice, shame on me.

00:34:53.000 Fool me 50,000 fucking times, like, Jesus Christ, these cops are assholes. 1.00

00:34:57.000 Well, sure, I know, but also then it's also the community. 1.00

00:34:59.000 Then we need to have a discussion over the systemic issues and the community issues.

00:35:03.000 Yes.

00:35:03.000 Right, but those don't get addressed.

00:35:04.000 It's not.

00:35:05.000 That's the root of the problem. 0.99

00:35:05.000 The root of the problem is, unlike you or me, some people grow up in the worst fucking neighborhoods on earth. 0.99

00:35:13.000 And there's no effort whatsoever on a federal level to eradicate that, to fix that, to make these places safer, to make these places more comfortable for these people. 0.97

00:35:24.000 What we have to do is figure out, well, why are these neighborhoods, whether it's the south side of Chicago or whether it's Baltimore or Detroit or whatever, you take the most fucked up neighborhoods in our country and go, why are they still like this and how come we haven't fixed that?

00:35:38.000 Right. 0.89

00:35:39.000 I said it before, I'll say it again.

00:35:41.000 You want to make America great again? 1.00

00:35:44.000 Fix the neighborhoods that are fucked. 1.00

00:35:46.000 Make it so we have less losers. 1.00

00:35:48.000 What makes a loser? 0.98

00:35:50.000 Well, one of the things that makes a loser is if one person gets four aces and the other person gets two cards and they're both ones, or it's a one and a two, you ain't doing shit with that. 0.98

00:36:01.000 You can't win. 0.96

00:36:02.000 It's not fair.

00:36:03.000 It's not fair.

00:36:04.000 And that's the reality of birth in this country.

00:36:07.000 Now some people that got given a shitty deck of cards also have like maybe some talent in music or some talent in comedy or some talent in athletics and they figure their way through.

00:36:18.000 But for every person that figures their way through, you know what it's like man?

00:36:22.000 Remember open mic night?

00:36:23.000 Yeah.

00:36:24.000 Remember when you first started?

00:36:25.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:36:25.000 How many fucking people made it out of there? 0.98

00:36:28.000 I mean, two. 1.00

00:36:29.000 Two?

00:36:30.000 Three?

00:36:31.000 Out of what?

00:36:32.000 Hundreds?

00:36:32.000 Hundreds.

00:36:32.000 And hundreds of people?

00:36:34.000 Yeah. 0.92

00:36:34.000 Well, multiply that times like, what the fuck ever, thousands? 0.92

00:36:38.000 That's what it's like growing up in a terrible neighborhood.

00:36:40.000 For every one person that gets out and becomes some sort of an NFL superstar or some rapper or a comic, how many of them fall into a life of crime and wind up being incarcerated?

00:36:51.000 How many of them wind up falling into this trap that they can't get out of?

00:36:55.000 Right.

00:36:55.000 Well, because it's so difficult to get out, and even when you do get chances to get out, it's still going to eat you alive.

00:37:03.000 Exactly.

00:37:03.000 Because, I mean, you know, more than anybody knows, money is power, and money is scary, and money can change you, and money is vulnerable.

00:37:10.000 Money makes you more vulnerable.

00:37:12.000 So, when you have no money and you get a little bit of money, that can also fuck you up just as bad.

00:37:18.000 It's a scary thing because you've never had money before. 0.99

00:37:22.000 That's why the NFL, the NBA, and all these places, they're trying to have these programs at a younger age to teach these kids not to go fucking throw away the money because there's no guarantee over that shit at some point. 0.97

00:37:32.000 Well, the NBA has less of a problem than the NFL, in my opinion, because the NFL also has head injuries. 0.98

00:37:39.000 Well, yeah, right.

00:37:40.000 Head injuries make you really impulsive.

00:37:42.000 They make you wild.

00:37:43.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:37:43.000 Well, those are trained killers. 0.97

00:37:45.000 Those guys are fucking killers. 1.00

00:37:46.000 They are killers, just like fighters are killers. 1.00

00:37:48.000 Yeah. 0.75

00:37:48.000 But they're also, like fighters, they get head injuries. 0.75

00:37:51.000 The head injuries make you wild.

00:37:52.000 They make you impulsive.

00:37:53.000 No one knows why.

00:37:55.000 But there's one of the side effects.

00:37:57.000 They're trying.

00:37:57.000 The NFL's trying to do its best.

00:37:59.000 I mean, I have so many fucking issues with the NFL, but optics alone. 0.93

00:38:03.000 I have friends that are in the NFL, and my beef is their optics were so important to them, but it was not based on any belief system. 0.97

00:38:11.000 What do you mean by optics?

00:38:13.000 They made the coaches wear masks on the side of the field, but not in the locker room.

00:38:17.000 And you're like, what are you guys doing?

00:38:18.000 Who is that for?

00:38:20.000 So to me, they care so much about the viewpoint of things...

00:38:24.000 But everybody has to do that.

00:38:25.000 They do that because it's a giant organization. 1.00

00:38:29.000 But I know, it's bullshit. 1.00

00:38:30.000 That was the same problem with them taking a fucking, yeah. 1.00

00:38:32.000 That was the same problem with, what is it called, you know, kneeling during the anthem that they had a big fucking deal with. 1.00

00:38:37.000 It was just such a crock of shit. 1.00

00:38:39.000 They don't really fucking care. 1.00

00:38:40.000 My take on that was, like, isn't... 0.98

00:38:42.000 Cheers, my brother.

00:38:44.000 My take on that when I was talking to Ben Shapiro. 1.00

00:38:47.000 I'm super supportive of taking a fucking knee. 0.99

00:38:49.000 Yeah, this is what I said. 0.99

00:38:49.000 I said, isn't that more respectful than standing there? 0.99

00:38:53.000 It's the most American thing.

00:38:55.000 Taking a knee is like, it's more respectful. 0.98

00:38:57.000 One of the rights of the fucking flag, you can look it up, is the right to protest the flag. 0.98

00:39:02.000 So they fight for the right to protest our flag. 1.00

00:39:04.000 That's our greatest thing about this country is you can disagree with your fucking government. 0.99

00:39:08.000 You can say, I don't believe in certain things. 0.99

00:39:10.000 I need to have my voice heard, right? 0.99

00:39:12.000 So they take a fucking knee to have their voice heard to go, I'm against something. 0.99

00:39:15.000 But here's my take is not disrespectful. 0.99

00:39:18.000 No.

00:39:18.000 Because you are literally doing something more respectful to put attention on police brutality.

00:39:24.000 Sure.

00:39:25.000 So instead of like going, Doing this with Nate Diaz in the middle of the flag.

00:39:32.000 Instead of that, they take a knee.

00:39:35.000 I think it's more respectful.

00:39:36.000 It's a silent protest.

00:39:37.000 It's not just a silent protest.

00:39:39.000 It's more respectful, and it actually does achieve its goal.

00:39:43.000 Think about what...

00:39:45.000 You know, whatever you say about Colin Kaepernick as an athlete or what he did, what that guy did, for sure, was highlight this ability to protest and make people even more aware that these athletes were talking about it.

00:40:00.000 That these pro-NFL athletes, top of the food chain athletes, were talking about police brutality.

00:40:06.000 And he decided to do something about it.

00:40:08.000 It's important.

00:40:09.000 By the way, this will always go down in history with athletes that do take public stands against things, right?

00:40:14.000 Sure.

00:40:15.000 I mean, Muhammad Ali.

00:40:16.000 Muhammad Ali was...

00:40:17.000 The Olympics, when those dudes held their fists up.

00:40:19.000 Right.

00:40:19.000 And by the way, now that's looked at in such a glorified fashion.

00:40:22.000 Exactly.

00:40:23.000 You know, it was controversial at the time.

00:40:24.000 Ali was the same way. 0.99

00:40:25.000 How much shit did he get, you know, trying to be a part of the civil rights movement, and people just fucking hated him for changing his name, and he got all this shit for that. 0.99

00:40:35.000 Now you look at him as a hero to a community that was, he gave people a fucking voice. 1.00

00:40:39.000 Exactly. 0.99

00:40:39.000 We just need to, you know. 0.99

00:40:40.000 My parents were hippies.

00:40:42.000 Yeah.

00:40:42.000 You know, and when I was a kid, they didn't watch sports, but they wanted to watch Muhammad Ali when he defended his title against, no, excuse me, when he tried to regain his title against Leon Spinks.

00:40:54.000 When Leon Spinks had beaten Muhammad Ali, and then Muhammad Ali had a rematch with Leon Spinks, my parents wanted to watch.

00:41:01.000 I don't remember how old I was.

00:41:04.000 It had to be between 7 and 11, because we were living in San Francisco.

00:41:09.000 I remember thinking, this is crazy, my parents want to watch boxing, but it was because Muhammad Ali, he had Eclipse boxing.

00:41:19.000 He had gone past that and became this cultural voice.

00:41:24.000 He became this icon of... 0.97

00:41:28.000 He became a guy who stood up and said, I don't think this war is just and I'm not going to participate and I'm going to make a real sacrifice where I'm going to lose my career for three fucking years. 0.97

00:41:39.000 Yeah. 0.75

00:41:40.000 So he didn't fight at all for three years.

00:41:43.000 And when he came back, if you watch his fights when he came back, he fought against, I think Cleveland Big Cat Williams was his fight, the last fight that he had in 67. And then in 1970 when he came back, I think it was Jerry Quarry.

00:41:59.000 Was that his return bout?

00:42:01.000 I think it was Jerry Quarry.

00:42:03.000 But he didn't look good.

00:42:05.000 He looked like his body looked soft.

00:42:07.000 He hadn't trained at all. 0.99

00:42:08.000 He didn't train at all for three fucking years. 0.99

00:42:10.000 So he went from being literally one of the slickest, fastest boxers the heavyweight division had ever seen to no training at all for three years. 0.99

00:42:19.000 Then his style changed.

00:42:20.000 Because he just didn't have the ability anymore. 0.99

00:42:23.000 For three fucking years, you did nothing. 0.99

00:42:24.000 And then he came back and he started fighting and he just... 1.00

00:42:28.000 He was never the same guy.

00:42:30.000 When you go back to his fights against Cleveland Big Cat Williams, bro, he was so fast.

00:42:35.000 He knocked Cleveland Williams out.

00:42:37.000 He was like moving backwards when he KO'd him.

00:42:40.000 I mean, he was just so unusual.

00:42:42.000 No one had seen anything, and he was shredded.

00:42:44.000 And then when he came back, it was like three years of his life were gone, man.

00:42:48.000 He was just so busy trying to avoid being locked in a cage and trying to express himself and trying to get out the message that no Viet Cong ever did anything to me.

00:42:58.000 He's like, why am I supposed to go over there and kill these people?

00:43:01.000 You want to use me as some sort of a publicity tool to go over there and fight in a war?

00:43:06.000 It doesn't make any sense. 1.00

00:43:07.000 I'm not doing that shit. 0.99

00:43:08.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:43:08.000 And my parents were all in. 1.00

00:43:11.000 That's how much of an icon he was.

00:43:13.000 Right. 0.99

00:43:13.000 My parents don't give a fuck about fighting. 0.99

00:43:15.000 My parents never saw me fight once. 0.99

00:43:17.000 I probably had like a hundred fights when I was a kid.

00:43:19.000 Never once.

00:43:20.000 Never once.

00:43:21.000 Because they hated the sport?

00:43:21.000 They were like, what are you doing?

00:43:24.000 I remember I showed them a video of me kicking someone in the face and they're like, what are you doing? 1.00

00:43:28.000 Yeah, but you do kick fucking hard. 0.98

00:43:29.000 Yeah, but that's not even it. 0.99

00:43:31.000 They didn't even go to watch.

00:43:32.000 They didn't tell me I couldn't do it, which is great.

00:43:36.000 I was happy.

00:43:37.000 I didn't even want them to come see me because it was so different from them, what they are.

00:43:42.000 I was worried they were going to say you can't do that.

00:43:45.000 I was like, God, I've got to leave home.

00:43:46.000 When you transitioned into stand-up, did that become a more palatable thing for them?

00:43:50.000 No, they thought it was going to be terrible.

00:43:51.000 My mother didn't think I was funny at all.

00:43:53.000 Really?

00:43:54.000 Did your mom ever say that you were funny?

00:43:56.000 Has she ever said you're funny?

00:43:57.000 No!

00:43:57.000 Well, she knows I'm funny now.

00:43:58.000 No, no, no.

00:43:58.000 Yeah.

00:43:59.000 She knows people think you're funny.

00:44:01.000 Oh, yeah, she's coming to my shows.

00:44:01.000 Does she think you're funny?

00:44:02.000 Yes, she's coming to my shows.

00:44:03.000 Because that's a big moment.

00:44:04.000 That was really funny.

00:44:05.000 The moment that changed my life emotionally was my mom said to me one day, she goes, like my first album that I ever made, And she was like, she repeated a joke back to me, out of the blue.

00:44:17.000 And I was like, what is that?

00:44:19.000 She's like, that's from your album, your first album.

00:44:21.000 I listen to it in the car sometimes. 1.00

00:44:22.000 And I'm like, oh, fuck. 0.99

00:44:24.000 It changed my life, because I was like, you know, look, I never cared if my parents liked my stand-up. 0.99

00:44:29.000 That was never why.

00:44:30.000 I was never like, what if they don't like it?

00:44:31.000 What if my family thinks something?

00:44:33.000 I didn't care.

00:44:34.000 But just to hear my mom go, I like listening to it sometimes.

00:44:38.000 I think it's really funny. 1.00

00:44:40.000 It's like a moment in your life where you're like, well, fuck. 0.99

00:44:43.000 Imagine, too, you made a person, and that person is making you laugh while you're driving down the road. 1.00

00:44:47.000 That's fucking weird. 0.90

00:44:48.000 That's weird. 0.99

00:44:48.000 Yeah, that's wild. 0.99

00:44:49.000 Well, any parent of someone who's...

00:44:52.000 Has any sort of like impressive public skill set, that has to feel surreal.

00:44:57.000 I mean, my parents kind of sometimes don't get it that I'm doing this too.

00:45:01.000 It doesn't really, they know it, they understand it, but even still, you know, it doesn't really register.

00:45:07.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:45:07.000 It doesn't like, they get it, but they're also like, if someone comes up to me and they're like, Santino, big fan, my dad's always like...

00:45:14.000 Well, fucking look at that shit. 0.99

00:45:15.000 It's almost like... 1.00

00:45:17.000 What are the odds?

00:45:19.000 He goes, how does that guy know you?

00:45:20.000 And I'm like, oh, he saw me on something.

00:45:22.000 And he goes, oh, okay.

00:45:24.000 Like, crazy.

00:45:24.000 It doesn't land yet.

00:45:25.000 Because in my dad's mind, it's like, Clint Eastwood gets people to say hi to him.

00:45:29.000 Not you. 1.00

00:45:30.000 You're a clown goofball. 1.00

00:45:32.000 You're not a real star thing. 1.00

00:45:34.000 I'm like, no, but some people know who I am.

00:45:36.000 You know what I mean?

00:45:37.000 I think it's just cool to watch them see it sometimes.

00:45:40.000 Because my dad is always like, And I'm like, yeah, no, I know, Dad, I know.

00:45:48.000 He likes it. 0.98

00:45:49.000 He thinks it's really fucking... 0.99

00:45:51.000 It's cool to watch them watch it. 0.99

00:45:53.000 Fame's like a wave.

00:45:55.000 You know, you gotta learn how to ride it.

00:45:56.000 Well, mine's more like a ripple, but it's fine.

00:45:59.000 I'll take the...

00:45:59.000 But you know what I'm saying?

00:46:00.000 It's a little bored.

00:46:01.000 You learn how to...

00:46:02.000 If you just get on a surfboard, you're not gonna learn how to ride that wave.

00:46:06.000 No.

00:46:06.000 You gotta relax and sort of let it happen and know what it is.

00:46:10.000 That's why it takes people under a lot. 0.99

00:46:11.000 The undertow of fame is fucking heavy. 0.98

00:46:14.000 You watch people. 0.98

00:46:14.000 We have friends that you see get big and you're like, be careful, man, because the wave will crash at some point and you get swallowed up. 0.98

00:46:23.000 Here's what I believe.

00:46:24.000 I believe you have to have some sort of exterior struggle, some sort of outside struggle, outside of the fame that you focus your energy on so that the fame seems like not that big a deal.

00:46:39.000 Right.

00:46:40.000 What's your outside struggle?

00:46:41.000 It's always been martial arts.

00:46:42.000 Right.

00:46:43.000 It's always been that.

00:46:44.000 It's always been training.

00:46:44.000 It's always been training or really hard working out.

00:46:47.000 It's always been things that I know are way harder than dealing with the struggle of fame.

00:46:52.000 Struggle of fame is weird, but I also don't take, as weird as it sounds, I don't take myself that seriously.

00:47:00.000 I really don't.

00:47:01.000 How can you at some point? 1.00

00:47:02.000 I understand who I am, and I understand I have this very bizarre impact with this stupid fucking show. 0.99

00:47:07.000 But I don't take it seriously where I'm like, I have a message. 0.99

00:47:14.000 I have an obligation.

00:47:15.000 But occasionally I do know.

00:47:17.000 There's this book that I've been trying to get out to people.

00:47:20.000 I talked about it on the podcast with Action Bronson.

00:47:23.000 I put it up on my Instagram.

00:47:24.000 And I legitimately do go to it every six months or so.

00:47:27.000 And I think I'm going to go to it all the time now.

00:47:30.000 It's called The Four Agreements.

00:47:32.000 I saw you post that.

00:47:33.000 Isn't it one the fifth agreement, which is really good too, but I kind of already thought that way.

00:47:38.000 I've always been kind of skeptical, but I verify things, you know, just based on just doing this podcast and talking to crazy people.

00:47:45.000 But the four agreements are very, they're really valid.

00:47:48.000 Like they really do...

00:47:50.000 Hold up.

00:47:51.000 And if I think that way, if I lock in and I really apply those to my everyday life, it has a giant impact on my happiness.

00:47:59.000 And one of them is be impeccable with your word.

00:48:02.000 Be impeccable with your word.

00:48:04.000 Tell the truth. 0.99

00:48:05.000 Tell the truth if you fucked up. 0.98

00:48:07.000 Tell the truth if you believe something that other people maybe don't see and it's going to be controversial to say. 0.99

00:48:13.000 Tell the truth about your pros and cons and goods and bad.

00:48:17.000 Tell the truth.

00:48:18.000 Right.

00:48:18.000 That's one of them.

00:48:19.000 Another one is don't take things personally.

00:48:22.000 I try not to take things personally.

00:48:24.000 I really do.

00:48:25.000 It's easy to. 0.99

00:48:26.000 When people dunk on you online and people shit on you, sometimes it's people that have been on my podcast and I'll see them shitting on me online or someone will tell me about it and I'll go... 0.98

00:48:37.000 If I see him, I'll give him a hug. 0.98

00:48:38.000 I don't have time.

00:48:39.000 I don't have time.

00:48:41.000 So tell the truth.

00:48:42.000 Don't take it personally.

00:48:43.000 Don't take it personally.

00:48:45.000 The third one...

00:48:46.000 Always do your best, but I think that's the fourth one.

00:48:53.000 What's the third one?

00:48:57.000 I'm trying to remember. 0.99

00:48:57.000 I always fuck one of them up. 0.99

00:48:59.000 He was putting a new hair tie in. 1.00

00:49:00.000 He wasn't paying attention.

00:49:02.000 He's putting one of those ones with the cloth, and it has a little metal piece.

00:49:06.000 You know what I mean?

00:49:06.000 The ones that girls have, and you twist it around.

00:49:09.000 You know, Jamie, when I come in here, you know how much I love you.

00:49:11.000 And that's why I like talking to you, too. 1.00

00:49:13.000 Because, honestly, you smacking that fucking gum is hilarious. 1.00

00:49:17.000 What is it? 1.00

00:49:17.000 The mad at my shoes is what I'm mad at. 1.00

00:49:19.000 What is the other one?

00:49:20.000 I know, I saw your kicks. 0.99

00:49:21.000 I saw his fucking 11. What's the other one? 0.99

00:49:23.000 What?

00:49:24.000 The...

00:49:25.000 The fourth, yeah.

00:49:26.000 Oh, you put them up there.

00:49:26.000 Don't make assumptions.

00:49:28.000 Don't make assumptions.

00:49:28.000 That's it.

00:49:29.000 That's it.

00:49:29.000 Don't make assumptions.

00:49:30.000 That's a good one, too.

00:49:31.000 Those are four powerful, very...

00:49:33.000 That's the thing about all this stuff. 0.88

00:49:34.000 Whenever I read it, I'm always like, oh, this makes perfect fucking sense. 0.54

00:49:37.000 It's so good, dude. 0.64

00:49:38.000 It is literally the best tools for managing your mindset that I've ever encountered in my life.

00:49:44.000 And the guy...

00:49:45.000 If you get the audiobook, Peter Coyote reads it, who's an amazing actor and has a beautiful voice.

00:49:51.000 Yeah.

00:49:51.000 When he's reading it, it's like so perfect and sincere.

00:49:55.000 It's so good. 0.99

00:49:55.000 It's always simple shit like that. 0.99

00:49:57.000 Like I'm reading, I know to you this is fucking dog shit, but Jamie might like it. 1.00

00:50:01.000 There's a book called Golf Is Not A Game Of Perfect. 1.00

00:50:03.000 No, I get it.

00:50:04.000 It applies to pool.

00:50:05.000 By the way, it applies to everything.

00:50:07.000 When I got it, this caddy gave it to me at this golf course.

00:50:10.000 He was like, I have a book for you because I was struggling.

00:50:12.000 I was playing terrible golf and I was getting annoyed.

00:50:16.000 He's like, what's going on in your life right now? 0.99

00:50:18.000 I'm balancing a bunch of bullshit. 0.99

00:50:20.000 He goes, do me a favor. 1.00

00:50:21.000 Read this book.

00:50:22.000 Just read it.

00:50:23.000 Rip through it.

00:50:23.000 It's like 100 pages.

00:50:25.000 He's like, you'll tear through it. 0.99

00:50:27.000 So I read it, and I gotta tell you, I was like, fuck, it's just simple principles that are not about golf, really. 0.99

00:50:33.000 It's about life. 0.99

00:50:34.000 Like Zen and the art of archery.

00:50:36.000 100%.

00:50:36.000 It's almost the exact same.

00:50:37.000 It's the philosophy of this guy who wrote the book.

00:50:41.000 He's basically saying, golf's not a game of perfect.

00:50:44.000 It's just saying nothing is perfect in life. 0.98

00:50:47.000 Trying to make things perfect is the foolish mistake.

00:50:49.000 It's trying to manage things as they are and as they come.

00:50:52.000 So in golf, it's when you hit a bad shot, You have to learn how to just get rid of that forever.

00:50:58.000 It can't be the thing you think about in the next time.

00:50:59.000 Same thing in jujitsu, same thing in pool. 1.00

00:51:01.000 You cannot harbor, fuck, why did I fuck up the first takedown? 1.00

00:51:05.000 Why did I fuck up the first throw? 1.00

00:51:07.000 It's got to be gone.

00:51:08.000 So good minds, best golfers are able to just and disappear that stuff. 0.99

00:51:13.000 So it's teaching you these philosophies in life that you can use as far as like when something negative happens to you, when somebody says some fucked up shit to you, don't take it personally. 0.98

00:51:20.000 How do you learn to just throw that away and move forward? 0.98

00:51:25.000 It's a super positive book.

00:51:26.000 I really recommend it if you're any kind of athlete.

00:51:29.000 But if you're trying to play golf, he talks in there often about other athletics.

00:51:33.000 He talks about football and basketball and he's coached a lot of people over the years.

00:51:36.000 And the one thing he says is the best athletes he's ever met in his life...

00:51:39.000 Are so good at moving forward and even getting more confident after doing something poorly.

00:51:45.000 Yeah, because they know they can do better.

00:51:47.000 Right, which is such an impressive skill.

00:51:48.000 Your average human, me, every time you do something bad, it's a struggle to get over the fuck up.

00:51:53.000 But he's like, the best athletes, it's remarkable how their brain works.

00:51:56.000 They're trying to re-figure out...

00:51:59.000 How to do the next best thing better. 0.99

00:52:01.000 They're not even remembering they fucked up. 0.99

00:52:03.000 It's like gone already. 0.99

00:52:04.000 Because they're task oriented.

00:52:06.000 Right.

00:52:06.000 They're concentrating on what they're trying to do rather than concentrated on their image.

00:52:11.000 Right.

00:52:11.000 They're concentrating on what people think of them or concentrating on how they, you know, how they appear.

00:52:17.000 Right. 1.00

00:52:18.000 All that shit's bullshit. 1.00

00:52:19.000 Instead of that, just concentrate on what you're trying to do. 1.00

00:52:21.000 And when you make a mistake, one of the good things about mistakes, especially embarrassing and humiliating mistakes, is they empower you to do better. 0.90

00:52:28.000 Because that feeling of sucking. 0.76

00:52:31.000 That's why bombing is so important. 0.96

00:52:32.000 It's so crucial.

00:52:33.000 And it's so hard.

00:52:36.000 It's so hard.

00:52:37.000 But it's so good for you.

00:52:37.000 It's so good for you because when you do bomb, you learn like, oh my god, what did I do wrong?

00:52:42.000 I don't ever want to feel that fucking terrible pain again.

00:52:44.000 The first time I followed Diaz, the first time I followed Diaz in the OR, I was, you know, it was like the best spot I had gotten in years, you know, because I got regular status in 010 or 09 or 2010. You want a cigar? 0.98

00:52:58.000 No, I don't smoke cigars.

00:52:59.000 You know that, man.

00:53:00.000 Really?

00:53:00.000 I do?

00:53:00.000 It just looks like a penis to me.

00:53:02.000 It doesn't look like a penis. 1.00

00:53:03.000 It looks like a cigar. 0.99

00:53:04.000 To me, because of my past.

00:53:06.000 Because of my past. 0.73

00:53:09.000 When I followed Diaz, bro, I bombed so bad in the OR, and Joey was pumping me up afterwards and was so fucking nice to me. 0.71

00:53:17.000 Because he knew.

00:53:18.000 Like, he knew that I was bummed about it. 1.00

00:53:20.000 And he was like, oh, fuck these cocksuckers, this room was whack tonight. 1.00

00:53:24.000 And I was like, fuck you. 1.00

00:53:25.000 He lit the room on fire, you know what I mean? 1.00

00:53:27.000 But he was so nice about it that it just kind of like...

00:53:31.000 It helped. 0.99

00:53:32.000 It helped get over the pain of how hard I fucking ate shit in the OR. I mean, it was just so tough to follow him at the time. 0.99

00:53:37.000 And then you learn.

00:53:38.000 Then I learned.

00:53:39.000 Then I followed Diaz a few times and it was no big deal. 1.00

00:53:41.000 You're gonna eat shit if you keep trying new jokes. 1.00

00:53:43.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:53:44.000 That's what you said at the end matters. 0.99

00:53:47.000 If you're trying new shit. 0.99

00:53:48.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:53:49.000 I was talking to a buddy of mine who takes this guy on the road with him, or was taking this guy on the road with him for a while, and I said, hey, how's that guy doing?

00:53:57.000 He goes, I had to stop using him. 0.98

00:53:58.000 Kept doing the same fucking jokes. 1.00

00:54:00.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:54:01.000 But some guys, when you take them on the road with you, one of the things that happens is they stop doing other sets.

00:54:06.000 So, like, say they go on the road with you, and they're doing, you know, fucking Zanies in Nashville, and they're doing the improv in Chicago, they're doing these nice clubs, and then they come back, and they don't want to put in for a Tuesday night.

00:54:17.000 They don't want to put in. 0.99

00:54:18.000 Fucking lazy. 1.00

00:54:18.000 Yeah, they're lazy. 1.00

00:54:19.000 They're lazy.

00:54:20.000 And those are the guys, they develop a little bit of an act, I've had a few of those guys that I had to cut loose and they kept trying to go back on the road with me. 1.00

00:54:27.000 I'm like, hey motherfucker, I saw you on the OR like a month ago and you were doing some shit you did on the road with me seven years ago. 0.99

00:54:34.000 So no. 1.00

00:54:35.000 So no.

00:54:36.000 Are you talking to me, Joe?

00:54:38.000 No.

00:54:38.000 No, I love you.

00:54:39.000 No, I'm kidding.

00:54:40.000 No, not you at all.

00:54:40.000 The guy that I have with me, this guy that I brought, Chris O'Connor, who opens for me, he's a great comic.

00:54:46.000 It's hard for me to say that when I'm like, oh, he features me.

00:54:48.000 He's a headlining comic of his own right, but he always has new stuff and I think what I appreciated about when I would come out with you was, you never were somebody, first of all, you were never a clock watcher, which I'm always so nervous about.

00:55:00.000 I'm like, I gotta get off. 0.99

00:55:01.000 And one time I got off, and you were like, what the fuck are you doing? 0.99

00:55:04.000 And I was like, it was like 30 on the nose. 1.00

00:55:06.000 You're like, fucking, what are you doing? 1.00

00:55:07.000 Like, you didn't expect me to come off. 1.00

00:55:09.000 You were like, why didn't you just fucking keep going and close as strong as you could? 0.99

00:55:13.000 And I was like, I just want to get the fuck off stage. 0.99

00:55:15.000 You were always promotional of us, me, Tony, Ian. 0.99

00:55:18.000 No, I remember that.

00:55:19.000 You looked at the clock, you're like, oh, I gotta get out of here. 0.93

00:55:21.000 I'm like, what are you, get fucking close? 0.65

00:55:23.000 Yeah, I know. 1.00

00:55:23.000 Well, because I was like, get the fuck off. 1.00

00:55:25.000 They're here for Joe. 1.00

00:55:25.000 But you were promotional always of us of being like, go out there and fucking smash. 1.00

00:55:29.000 And when he's killing in front of me, makes me feel fucking more empowered to go kill. 0.99

00:55:35.000 It was like, oh, dude, he's killing. 0.99

00:55:36.000 It feels good when someone you are working with is smashing because they're doing stuff you haven't seen before.

00:55:41.000 And it's new and it's powerful. 0.99

00:55:43.000 And you're like, holy fuck it. 0.99

00:55:45.000 It makes you feel like you're in this realm of great comedy and you're bound to do well. 0.99

00:55:49.000 Like you're bound to do a better show then.

00:55:51.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:55:52.000 Instead of, there's guys that we both know that take out fucking people that struggle and you're like, why are you taking out someone that's not writing new jokes enough? 0.97

00:56:00.000 Because they want to be a hero. 0.98

00:56:00.000 Nah, it's not worth it. 0.98

00:56:02.000 It's not the right way to do it. 0.95

00:56:03.000 It's a coward's way out.

00:56:04.000 It's not...

00:56:05.000 You know, I've taken guys on the road with me that didn't do good, but I was hoping they did good.

00:56:10.000 It's like I was giving them chances. 0.96

00:56:12.000 I wasn't taking them on the road because I thought they sucked.

00:56:14.000 I was taking them on the road because I saw them have great sets, but sometimes those bright lights and thousands of people are like... 0.99

00:56:20.000 It'll fuck you up.

00:56:21.000 Do you remember the first time you did an arena? 0.99

00:56:23.000 With you, yeah.

00:56:24.000 Do you remember that feeling?

00:56:25.000 100%.

00:56:25.000 I can't forget it, man.

00:56:27.000 You walk out there, you're like, Jesus, fuck. 1.00

00:56:30.000 There's so many people here. 1.00

00:56:32.000 There's so many people here.

00:56:34.000 It's so crazy.

00:56:35.000 But then you get into a rhythm, and then they start laughing.

00:56:37.000 You're like, the laughter is so loud.

00:56:40.000 Yeah, when we did San Diego.

00:56:41.000 San Diego?

00:56:42.000 Yeah, San Diego in the round on 420. I remember stepping on the stage and feeling about a half a second of, oh fuck, I'm overwhelmed. 0.99

00:56:51.000 Like a half a second of, oh shit, this is too much. 0.99

00:56:53.000 And then once you go, you're like, alright, I'm good. 1.00

00:56:55.000 It's just like you shed all this shit off of your body. 0.99

00:56:58.000 It's like taking off a bunch of armor and you're like, I'm good. 1.00

00:57:00.000 I get out there because you're tense and you're like, alright, I have to fucking take on all these motherfuckers. 1.00

00:57:04.000 And then as soon as you take off the armor, you're like, pfft. 1.00

00:57:07.000 Come on, man, I'm here to fucking entertain. 0.98

00:57:08.000 You just gotta be who you are, you know? 0.99

00:57:10.000 Who you are in front of 90 people is who you are in front of 19,000.

00:57:13.000 It's the same thing.

00:57:14.000 Well, for me, it's curious, because when we were going out together, we were doing...

00:57:19.000 I mean, we started, we were doing a bunch of theater, big-ass theaters, and then we were doing arenas, too.

00:57:24.000 But then we started doing clubs.

00:57:25.000 We came back here to Austin and did Cap City together.

00:57:28.000 And did a bunch of shows.

00:57:28.000 Me, you, and Tony, and then Perez was with us too.

00:57:31.000 Yeah, George Perez was with us.

00:57:32.000 Shout out to my boy George! 0.99

00:57:33.000 I fucking love him, bro. 0.98

00:57:34.000 I love George. 0.99

00:57:35.000 I miss George.

00:57:36.000 I miss a lot of people.

00:57:37.000 By the way, me and him were dying laughing at dinner when Alex Jones showed up. 0.99

00:57:41.000 Him and I, because he was fucking high as a fucking kite. 0.99

00:57:45.000 Such a wow. 1.00

00:57:46.000 I love George Preston.

00:57:47.000 But when we were here in Austin, you were having the same feelings that we were talking about when it was an arena or a theater.

00:57:55.000 It was like, those are just as good.

00:57:57.000 Those rooms sometimes are just as powerful.

00:58:00.000 Well, that's one of the...

00:58:00.000 I mean, so sad that Cap City went under, but that's one of the things...

00:58:04.000 They're coming back though, no?

00:58:05.000 It's not the same place.

00:58:07.000 Oh, right.

00:58:07.000 Oh, it's moving.

00:58:08.000 They're opening up under the Helium banner.

00:58:10.000 Grossman's...

00:58:10.000 Yeah, Mark, yeah.

00:58:11.000 He's opening up a place called Cap City, and he's doing it in the domain.

00:58:15.000 And look, if Helium's going to do it, it's going to be great.

00:58:18.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:58:18.000 Because he's got fucking great clubs in Portland, and he's got great clubs in Philly, everywhere. 0.95

00:58:22.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:58:23.000 It'll be amazing.

00:58:24.000 Yeah.

00:58:24.000 I don't know why they didn't just call it Helium.

00:58:26.000 Like, you don't need to call it Cap City, but I guess they just wanted...

00:58:28.000 I talked to him on the phone a couple of weeks ago.

00:58:30.000 He said he wanted to retain the name for what it's done for this community and this city, what it means to Austin.

00:58:35.000 That's nice.

00:58:35.000 Which I understand exactly why.

00:58:37.000 I think it's almost paying homage.

00:58:38.000 I think it's tipping the hat to like, you know.

00:58:40.000 Yeah, that's nice. 0.95

00:58:41.000 It would kind of be like if somebody fucking clipped over the store, you know what I mean? 0.88

00:58:45.000 It'd be weird. 0.97

00:58:46.000 You gotta let it go.

00:58:46.000 It's the store until it's not the store anymore.

00:58:49.000 How long is it the store, though?

00:58:51.000 Well, you know, opening up a club out here, I thought for a while about doing a store out here.

00:58:56.000 The comedy store in Austin?

00:58:57.000 But I was like, it's not the store.

00:58:58.000 Ari talked me out of it.

00:58:59.000 He's one of the reasons why.

00:59:00.000 You listen to Ari? 1.00

00:59:02.000 Joe.

00:59:03.000 Odd occasions.

00:59:05.000 More than I should.

00:59:06.000 A lot.

00:59:07.000 A lot, actually.

00:59:08.000 I listen to him a lot.

00:59:09.000 But he was like, it's only the store if it's Mitzi. 1.00

00:59:12.000 And I was like, fuck, you're right. 0.99

00:59:14.000 Yeah, there's a lot of truth in that. 0.99

00:59:14.000 He said that, and I almost started crying. 0.99

00:59:16.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:59:17.000 I was like, fuck. 0.99

00:59:18.000 You know, like, I love the people that run the store, and I'll support the store, and I'll say this to all the people that are working there. 0.99

00:59:26.000 I will continue.

00:59:26.000 I'll put it on my Instagram.

00:59:28.000 I'll talk about it on my podcast.

00:59:31.000 I'd love the store forever.

00:59:33.000 Yeah.

00:59:33.000 But I want to do my own thing out here.

00:59:36.000 And I want to do my own thing in a way where I don't want to do it like a business.

00:59:44.000 I just want to do it the way it should be done.

00:59:47.000 The club that I'm going to open up out here, the whole idea is just to support comedy.

00:59:53.000 That's the whole idea.

00:59:55.000 It's like I feel like Baseball has been very, very good to me.

00:59:59.000 Yes, it has, Sammy.

01:00:00.000 Yes, it has.

01:00:02.000 Comedy has been so good to me.

01:00:04.000 I feel like what I want to do out here is...

01:00:07.000 I want to just do something where it just supports comedy.

01:00:11.000 And I want to make it a safe place for wild people.

01:00:14.000 Where you can just get wild.

01:00:16.000 You can just have some fun.

01:00:17.000 And I want you to figure it out.

01:00:19.000 I want you to figure out this weird puzzle that is...

01:00:22.000 Your own personality dynamics, and your past, and your life, and your neediness, and your weirdness, and your need to be accepted, and you need to be a part of a community, and then just build this community that fully embraces everybody that tries to do that.

01:00:35.000 Fully embraces everybody who...

01:00:36.000 Like, here's our thing.

01:00:37.000 Our thing is comedy.

01:00:39.000 And if you're really committed to that thing, we're committed to you.

01:00:43.000 We're committed to you.

01:00:45.000 We're committed to each other.

01:00:46.000 We're committed to community.

01:00:47.000 I want to have great food for people that work there.

01:00:51.000 I want everybody to eat free.

01:00:53.000 I want you to be able to come whenever you want.

01:00:55.000 I want to pay people well.

01:00:57.000 My goal financially is to break even.

01:01:00.000 That's my whole goal.

01:01:01.000 Right, so just not lose on it.

01:01:02.000 That's all I want to do.

01:01:03.000 And how big is it, by the way?

01:01:04.000 I'll tell it to you.

01:01:05.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:01:06.000 It's all confidentiality shit. 0.98

01:01:08.000 Some of it's been leaked, but a lot of it's wrong. 0.99

01:01:11.000 Right. 1.00

01:01:11.000 A lot of fake shit out there. 1.00

01:01:13.000 Well, I want to talk to you about it because I'm interested about it. 0.99

01:01:15.000 I can't tell too much about it, but I'll tell you everything.

01:01:17.000 What is it?

01:01:18.000 Do you have a name for it?

01:01:19.000 I'll tell you that there.

01:01:20.000 Okay, great.

01:01:21.000 I'm excited to hear about all of it.

01:01:22.000 I mean, look, you sent me photos privately.

01:01:25.000 I didn't show them off to anybody.

01:01:27.000 No one saw.

01:01:28.000 Everybody saw that you know.

01:01:29.000 Nobody saw.

01:01:30.000 Nobody saw.

01:01:31.000 Your opening act?

01:01:31.000 Nobody saw.

01:01:32.000 He hasn't seen them.

01:01:33.000 You can go ask him in the hallway.

01:01:34.000 If I showed him pictures, he'll say no.

01:01:35.000 Okay.

01:01:36.000 That's how much.

01:01:36.000 See?

01:01:37.000 I believe you.

01:01:37.000 Because you said to me, you said, don't show this to anybody.

01:01:40.000 And I said, if you're sending me nudes, I have to send this around, Joe. 0.99

01:01:42.000 It's going to earn me some fucking money. 0.99

01:01:44.000 No, but of course I didn't. 0.98

01:01:45.000 No, it's just a new hope for what's going on down here for you guys.

01:01:51.000 I mean, look, you know, you were calling me being like, you got to move down here.

01:01:55.000 I can't, dude, because Dylan's down here.

01:01:57.000 I can't be near Tim.

01:01:58.000 You know, I just can't. 1.00

01:01:58.000 He's trying to fuck you? 1.00

01:01:59.000 Yeah, too many times. 1.00

01:02:00.000 It's like, I get it, Tim.

01:02:01.000 Like, I'm down.

01:02:02.000 You are pretty hot, though.

01:02:03.000 Yeah, I'm sexy now. 0.92

01:02:04.000 If I was a gay guy and I was quite portly, I'd be looking for a... 1.00

01:02:08.000 Quite portly?

01:02:10.000 You know how good of an album that would be?

01:02:12.000 Slim, sexy redhead. 1.00

01:02:13.000 Slim ginger boy? 0.83

01:02:14.000 His next album should be called Quite Portly.

01:02:16.000 Quite Portly.

01:02:18.000 No, I love to...

01:02:19.000 I just... 0.96

01:02:20.000 Tim's a monster. 0.97

01:02:21.000 This place, I don't belong. 0.99

01:02:22.000 I can say that.

01:02:23.000 I can feel it when I walk around. 1.00

01:02:25.000 They look at me like, get out of here, you fucking asshole. 1.00

01:02:28.000 This place... 1.00

01:02:30.000 Shut up, Jamie. 1.00

01:02:30.000 Don't fucking laugh at me. 1.00

01:02:32.000 Jamie, you too. 1.00

01:02:32.000 You walking around. 1.00

01:02:33.000 By the way, I want to ask Joe.

01:02:34.000 Joe, what number shoes Jordan's are, though?

01:02:36.000 Just give me the number of when they came.

01:02:38.000 The number. 0.99

01:02:38.000 You think I fucking... 0.99

01:02:39.000 I know, but give me a guess. 1.00

01:02:40.000 I don't know.

01:02:41.000 He's up to...

01:02:41.000 What is he up to now?

01:02:42.000 31?

01:02:43.000 You could go one out of 30, sure.

01:02:45.000 One out of 30. 22. Yeah, half of that.

01:02:48.000 Those are the 11s. 0.96

01:02:49.000 Those are iconic.

01:02:50.000 Patented leather.

01:02:50.000 When we were kids...

01:02:51.000 From 2011?

01:02:52.000 Is that what it is?

01:02:53.000 No, no, no.

01:02:53.000 That's the number 11 shoe.

01:02:55.000 11th shoe.

01:02:55.000 Oh, okay.

01:02:57.000 But for us, when we were kids, those were...

01:02:59.000 Well, the original colors were the Bulls colors, and they were by far embedded in culture as the coolest shoe he had ever made.

01:03:07.000 He put patent leather on basketball shoes.

01:03:08.000 It was insane.

01:03:10.000 Are those patent leather?

01:03:10.000 Yeah.

01:03:11.000 See those shiny?

01:03:12.000 It's hard to tell under the table like that.

01:03:14.000 But in these ice blue bottoms...

01:03:16.000 They're kind of tight. 0.99

01:03:17.000 Oh, they're fucking so sad. 0.99

01:03:18.000 I like those. 0.99

01:03:18.000 I'd wear those. 0.99

01:03:19.000 Oh, you're going to get Joe into some fucking J's! 1.00

01:03:21.000 I tried. 1.00

01:03:22.000 Those are fucking dope. 1.00

01:03:23.000 Jamie got me wearing some slick running shoes. 1.00

01:03:26.000 What do you get?

01:03:27.000 He's got...

01:03:27.000 Well, these are...

01:03:28.000 Yeah, you got Air Maxes.

01:03:29.000 These are Air Maxes.

01:03:29.000 I saw the Maxes.

01:03:30.000 I love that you're rocking those.

01:03:32.000 They're very comfortable.

01:03:33.000 I got those in golf shoes, the 97 in golf shoes.

01:03:35.000 They're very comfortable.

01:03:36.000 What we got to get him into is...

01:03:37.000 Like, you won't wear high tops, though.

01:03:40.000 No.

01:03:40.000 No, see, that's the problem.

01:03:41.000 Some of the best are high tops. 0.99

01:03:42.000 They'll fuck you up if you try to kick somebody. 1.00

01:03:44.000 Is that what it is? 1.00

01:03:45.000 They'll get in the way.

01:03:47.000 You're still kicking people, dude?

01:03:49.000 Yeah, you don't want to...

01:03:49.000 In the streets?

01:03:50.000 Here's the thing. 0.99

01:03:51.000 Imagine if all these years go by and there comes a time where I have to fuck somebody up. 0.99

01:03:58.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:03:58.000 And I have high tops on. 0.99

01:04:00.000 And I'm like, God damn it, Cheeto. 0.99

01:04:01.000 You're going down? 0.99

01:04:02.000 What have you done?

01:04:04.000 You're thinking of me the whole time you can't kick.

01:04:05.000 I'd be thinking of him.

01:04:06.000 I'd be like, I can't even move right.

01:04:07.000 My ankles are all inhibited.

01:04:08.000 What did Chuck know?

01:04:09.000 Did he have cowboy boots on when he was doing that?

01:04:11.000 Yeah, but cowboy boots are easy.

01:04:13.000 Cowboy boots fly right off your feet, man.

01:04:15.000 You know, the cowboy boots are designed to fly off.

01:04:17.000 Do you understand that?

01:04:18.000 Yeah.

01:04:18.000 Do you know that?

01:04:19.000 So you don't get stuck.

01:04:20.000 Yeah, you don't get stuck in the, what's those things called?

01:04:22.000 Rains?

01:04:23.000 No.

01:04:24.000 Stirrups?

01:04:25.000 Yep.

01:04:25.000 Stirrups.

01:04:26.000 Stirrups.

01:04:26.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:04:27.000 So the way cowboy boots work, they slip on and slip off. 0.99

01:04:30.000 So if a fucking horse is taken off and you get flung off, your boot just goes flying off. 0.99

01:04:37.000 That's like when you see someone get in a motorcycle accident, their shoes always come fucking off. 0.99

01:04:41.000 That's the first thing that they see is shoes. 0.99

01:04:42.000 There was a dude on TikTok had his rear view camera and he was talking to it and he's like, look at how this asshole's following me so close. 0.87

01:04:49.000 This bike was kind of getting up on him. 0.82

01:04:51.000 This is heavy traffic.

01:04:52.000 There's nowhere to go.

01:04:52.000 He hit some brakes.

01:04:53.000 Smoke some.

01:04:55.000 All you see is his shoes go over the front of the car.

01:04:57.000 Bro, that's so rude.

01:04:59.000 Why do people do that?

01:05:01.000 Honestly, it's so mean to laugh. 0.99

01:05:03.000 You can tell the dude got fucked up, but man, was it funny to watch. 1.00

01:05:05.000 You don't just get fucked up. 1.00

01:05:06.000 You might get fucked up for the rest of your life. 1.00

01:05:09.000 There's no car around you. 1.00

01:05:10.000 I know, dude.

01:05:12.000 It was awful.

01:05:12.000 You have nothing protecting you.

01:05:13.000 It was awful.

01:05:14.000 I was talking to my buddy the other night about that.

01:05:17.000 He's riding around.

01:05:18.000 I was talking to Norman about it, too, about bikes.

01:05:20.000 And he rides around New York without a helmet. 1.00

01:05:22.000 I was like, are you out of your fucking mind? 1.00

01:05:23.000 He is out of his fucking mind. 1.00

01:05:24.000 I was like, wear a helmet, you fucking idiot. 1.00

01:05:26.000 He likes being thrilled by this idea. 1.00

01:05:28.000 I like the danger.

01:05:29.000 Living on the danger. 0.71

01:05:30.000 I'm gay. 0.54

01:05:31.000 Hey! 1.00

01:05:31.000 Hey, you can't die if you're gay. 1.00

01:05:33.000 You have a really good Norman. 1.00

01:05:34.000 That's not bad.

01:05:36.000 I did it to him.

01:05:36.000 I did it on my podcast.

01:05:38.000 I did it to him, and he loves it.

01:05:40.000 There's a podcast that just got released. 0.99

01:05:43.000 It's Giannis Pappas, Mark Norman, and Whitney Cummings, and I think they fucked. 0.99

01:05:48.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:05:48.000 They all got fucked up. 1.00

01:05:49.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:05:50.000 He told me about it. 0.65

01:05:50.000 I think they all got an orgy or something. 0.65

01:05:51.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.90

01:05:51.000 He told me. 0.90

01:05:52.000 Not really.

01:05:53.000 She got drunk on...

01:05:55.000 She's got this kombucha... 0.98

01:05:56.000 Well, yeah.

01:05:57.000 She is on ketamine.

01:05:58.000 100%.

01:05:59.000 She's like, we got drunk on kombucha...

01:06:01.000 It's been a five and a half hour podcast. 0.99

01:06:03.000 Yeah, they got fucking lit.

01:06:04.000 Remember the days when podcasts, like, everybody's telling you it has to be an hour? 1.00

01:06:08.000 That shit's changed. 0.90

01:06:09.000 Well, what's your longest podcast? 0.99

01:06:13.000 I don't know.

01:06:13.000 Jamie, what is it?

01:06:14.000 What do we think?

01:06:15.000 I've done a few fives.

01:06:16.000 Yeah, in my head, there's one that's 540-something.

01:06:20.000 Is that Kevin Smith?

01:06:21.000 There's one with Bert that was, like, two parts and long.

01:06:25.000 You sat with that guy for five hours?

01:06:26.000 We were hammered.

01:06:27.000 Yeah, that's why.

01:06:28.000 Couldn't get up.

01:06:29.000 Right. 0.99

01:06:30.000 Couldn't fucking leave. 0.99

01:06:32.000 I love Burt. 0.99

01:06:33.000 I could talk to him for days.

01:06:34.000 He's shooting his movie right now.

01:06:35.000 Yeah, isn't that amazing?

01:06:36.000 The machine.

01:06:37.000 Do you know how many douchebags came out of the woodwork and were contacted Burt hoping for a spot in that movie? 0.87

01:06:41.000 Oh, sure.

01:06:42.000 I mean, come on, man.

01:06:43.000 That's like anything.

01:06:45.000 That's what we're escaping out here.

01:06:47.000 Cheeto.

01:06:48.000 Oh, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:06:48.000 There's none of that shit out here. 1.00

01:06:49.000 They're gonna follow you because of you. 1.00

01:06:51.000 You're a fucking magnet. 1.00

01:06:52.000 You're a magnet. 1.00

01:06:53.000 People are gonna come out here.

01:06:54.000 The movie people, the TV people, they're not coming.

01:06:56.000 Oh, yeah?

01:06:57.000 Watch what you say.

01:06:58.000 What are they gonna do? 1.00

01:06:59.000 Who the fuck? 0.99

01:07:00.000 They'll set up camp out here. 1.00

01:07:01.000 They'll start shooting.

01:07:02.000 There's nobody.

01:07:02.000 You think Texas won't give them tax breaks?

01:07:04.000 There's no movies. 0.99

01:07:05.000 Look up the economic influence that you fucking changed out here. 0.97

01:07:09.000 You will draw more than you know. 0.98

01:07:11.000 Don't look that up.

01:07:12.000 I don't want to know.

01:07:12.000 He doesn't want to know.

01:07:13.000 Yes, the big news of added seats of Congress.

01:07:19.000 One away from California.

01:07:21.000 Because of this.

01:07:22.000 Two added to Texas.

01:07:23.000 Because of you, big dog.

01:07:24.000 See?

01:07:24.000 It's not directly that, but yeah, maybe.

01:07:27.000 Butterfly Fleck.

01:07:28.000 This is all because of things, because of things.

01:07:30.000 I have a minor impact on dirtbags.

01:07:32.000 There's a lot of dirtbags moved here. 0.98

01:07:35.000 A lot of fucking people moved, and a lot of people have the idea to want to move here, and you're a part of the conversation. 0.99

01:07:41.000 If you don't want all the credit, that's fine. 0.99

01:07:43.000 I definitely don't get all the credit.

01:07:45.000 No, honestly.

01:07:46.000 You moved here.

01:07:48.000 Elon and his company moved here.

01:07:49.000 Other companies are progressively trying to get to Texas.

01:07:52.000 But there's a lot of reasons.

01:07:53.000 It's because California's so bad right now.

01:07:55.000 I know.

01:07:55.000 I'm loving it.

01:07:56.000 I'm sitting in the wildfire, baby.

01:07:57.000 It's not the wildfire.

01:07:59.000 It's the homeless invasion. 0.98

01:08:00.000 Yeah.

01:08:01.000 It's great.

01:08:02.000 We love it.

01:08:02.000 Good.

01:08:03.000 I have them over for dinner now.

01:08:04.000 Good.

01:08:05.000 I go, fellas, jump in. 1.00

01:08:06.000 I let them all in the fucking van. 0.99

01:08:07.000 There's a guy who's a security expert who sent me an email yesterday showing me how things have been decriminalized and some of the things have been literally invasions into your home by people who are intoxicated. 1.00

01:08:20.000 So if someone invades your home and they're under the influence of drugs, so all you have to do is do coke and kick someone's door down.

01:08:26.000 You're good.

01:08:27.000 Literally, they won't arrest you.

01:08:28.000 It's so nuts.

01:08:30.000 It's kind of fun.

01:08:31.000 He was sending me this thing describing me like all these things, not describing just me, but he was basically, he's a security expert and it was a detailed analysis of all the problems that have incurred over the pandemic.

01:08:42.000 He said it's like nothing we've ever seen in our lifetimes. 0.98

01:08:45.000 Yeah, LA's a fucking nightmare right now. 0.99

01:08:47.000 I'm not even gonna lie to you. 0.99

01:08:47.000 I was doing a show in Hollywood and I was like, this is the worst I've ever seen it. 0.99

01:08:50.000 Since I moved. 0.98

01:08:51.000 I mean, when I moved in 06 to LA, I remember the store was dark as fucking night. 0.99

01:08:57.000 It was gross and weird and negative and fucked up and sunset still was like a little fucked up and nasty and they hadn't really, things hadn't started to level out. 0.98

01:09:05.000 What year was this? 0.99

01:09:06.000 06 when I moved there.

01:09:07.000 What time did you go to the store though?

01:09:09.000 The store was good until 07. Mmm, I don't know about good, but I mean it was like, I mean for an open miker, it was still a fucking awful place. 1.00

01:09:16.000 07 is when I left. 0.75

01:09:17.000 Yeah.

01:09:17.000 And that's when I started, I put on my website.

01:09:20.000 I moved in the winter of 06, so by 07 I was going around the store for mics a lot.

01:09:25.000 I was poking around doing coffee shops and the Room 5 and the Acme Theater and all that stuff.

01:09:32.000 I think February of 07 is when I got barred.

01:09:34.000 That's when you got clapped out.

01:09:36.000 Yeah.

01:09:36.000 Man, did they pick the right horse, huh?

01:09:37.000 Pfft! 0.63

01:09:39.000 Well, it worked out in the long run.

01:09:40.000 For who?

01:09:41.000 For them!

01:09:42.000 Yeah.

01:09:42.000 When I came back.

01:09:43.000 Yeah, when you came back.

01:09:43.000 Shout out to Adam Eagot.

01:09:45.000 I don't know him anymore, by the way.

01:09:46.000 He's my friend.

01:09:47.000 No, I don't know him.

01:09:47.000 I don't know who that is.

01:09:48.000 What happened?

01:09:48.000 No, I love him to death.

01:09:49.000 I just saw him with Spade, and I was just so happy to fucking see him. 0.97

01:09:52.000 Is that why you don't love him? 0.98

01:09:53.000 With Spade?

01:09:54.000 You don't love Spade?

01:09:55.000 No, I love Spade.

01:09:56.000 Okay.

01:09:56.000 Spade is, uh, no, Spade's a good, he's a sweet boy.

01:09:59.000 He sends me voice texts a lot.

01:10:01.000 He doesn't like to text text.

01:10:02.000 Huh?

01:10:02.000 He sends me only voice texts.

01:10:04.000 Don't make me listen to you talk.

01:10:05.000 Oh, he wants me to hear his voice.

01:10:06.000 He likes that.

01:10:06.000 Send me something I can skim over real quick.

01:10:08.000 I'm in a red light.

01:10:08.000 Thumb through.

01:10:10.000 Well, I'm driving.

01:10:10.000 I'm always reading when I'm driving.

01:10:12.000 I don't read when I'm driving.

01:10:12.000 I do, man.

01:10:13.000 Fuck it. 1.00

01:10:14.000 I don't. 1.00

01:10:14.000 I get mad at people. 1.00

01:10:14.000 You gotta have a little risk. 1.00

01:10:15.000 I don't fuck around. 0.99

01:10:16.000 I have Apple CarPlay and I never read text while I'm driving. 1.00

01:10:19.000 Please, you got a fucking car that drives itself. 1.00

01:10:21.000 What do you care? 1.00

01:10:21.000 The Tesla? 1.00

01:10:22.000 Yeah, put it on auto and ride.

01:10:23.000 I don't ever let it drive itself.

01:10:24.000 Also, I want to make fun of you a little bit because of this.

01:10:26.000 You're driving that a lot, I've heard.

01:10:27.000 You're a big Tesla now.

01:10:28.000 I love it.

01:10:29.000 Why are you making fun of it?

01:10:30.000 Because you're a car guy.

01:10:31.000 You can't just go all full in on the Teslas now.

01:10:34.000 I can do whatever I want.

01:10:35.000 No, you can't.

01:10:36.000 Why are you saying that? 1.00

01:10:36.000 You got this fucking Hennessy. 1.00

01:10:37.000 We still have to preserve some car guys. 1.00

01:10:38.000 Nobody even knows about the Hennessy. 1.00

01:10:39.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:10:41.000 No one knows. 1.00

01:10:42.000 I'll tell you, everybody.

01:10:43.000 I bought a TRX. He calls it a mammoth, which is ridiculous. 0.94

01:10:47.000 Tight.

01:10:48.000 But I talked to John Hennessy, and he told me that the problem is that Hennessy, when they tried to come up with names, A lot of them were already taken.

01:10:58.000 For the Raptor, he calls it the Velociraptor, and he jacks up the horsepower.

01:11:03.000 I like that.

01:11:03.000 The TRX already comes with 700 horsepower, and he made one that has 900 horsepower.

01:11:10.000 It is the fucking dumbest thing I've ever driven in my life. 0.99

01:11:13.000 That's my truck. 1.00

01:11:14.000 That's awesome. 1.00

01:11:15.000 It's so dumb, dude. 1.00

01:11:16.000 It's so dumb in the best way. 1.00

01:11:18.000 It should be dumb. 1.00

01:11:19.000 A truck is dumb. 1.00

01:11:21.000 If you're gonna have a truck, make it dumb. 1.00

01:11:23.000 Dude, it's as fast as a Porsche 911. And it's a truck. 0.99

01:11:28.000 It's shocking.

01:11:30.000 When you hit the accelerator, it's shocking.

01:11:32.000 It's kind of like the Jeep Trackhawk.

01:11:34.000 You know about the Trackhawk.

01:11:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:11:35.000 That's a sexy fucking car. 1.00

01:11:37.000 Right, it's the same engine, right? 1.00

01:11:38.000 It's the Hellcat engine.

01:11:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:11:40.000 That to me is...

01:11:41.000 I drove a Hellcat before they were ever even released.

01:11:44.000 Shout out to my friend Matt Farah.

01:11:46.000 I had one on my Comedy Central special from 2014 when I filmed it at the Denver Comedy Works.

01:11:53.000 He arranged it.

01:11:54.000 Matt Farah hooked me up with Dodge and Dodge gave me a Challenger.

01:11:59.000 A Challenger Hellcat.

01:12:00.000 Wow. 0.98

01:12:01.000 It was like, so the intro to my comedy special was me, high as fuck, wearing a NASA outfit, asleep in a field, and I wake up and I jump in a Hellcat and I drive to the Comedy Works. 0.99

01:12:12.000 Oh, that's great. 0.97

01:12:13.000 Yeah, and that was like before they were even released, I was driving that thing around Denver. 1.00

01:12:18.000 That car is a bad fucking car. 0.96

01:12:19.000 I just don't, I'm not in love with the design, the style of it for me. 0.99

01:12:22.000 Challenger?

01:12:22.000 Yeah, I'm not in love.

01:12:23.000 What are you, a comedian? 0.83

01:12:24.000 Too chunky, too chunky. 1.00

01:12:25.000 It's fucking perfect. 0.99

01:12:26.000 Nah, the old Chargers, to me, I think, the old Chargers that had the body was more sexy. 1.00

01:12:30.000 Well, a Charger's a different car, you fuck. 0.99

01:12:33.000 Charger and Challenger are almost the same new body. 1.00

01:12:35.000 No, they're not.

01:12:36.000 The new body looks almost the same.

01:12:37.000 No, they're not.

01:12:37.000 Bring them up.

01:12:38.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:12:38.000 Look at how close they look. 1.00

01:12:39.000 Listen to me, dum-dum. 1.00

01:12:40.000 Look at how close they look. 1.00

01:12:41.000 A Charger's a four-door, you fucking idiot. 1.00

01:12:43.000 They have the same chunky ass and big fucking hood. 1.00

01:12:46.000 No, no, [... 1.00

01:12:47.000 Yeah, they do.

01:12:47.000 Look at them.

01:12:48.000 They're hugely different. 0.98

01:12:49.000 And the old Charger's the goddamn Dukes of Hazzard card. 0.98

01:12:51.000 Yeah, that's why. 0.98

01:12:52.000 The old ones are beautiful.

01:12:54.000 Show a picture of the 2021...

01:12:56.000 Just the number of doors is the only thing that's the difference.

01:12:58.000 Go to images.

01:12:59.000 Go to images.

01:12:59.000 The most obvious difference is the door.

01:13:01.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:13:01.000 What are you talking about? 1.00

01:13:02.000 They're very different. 1.00

01:13:03.000 Just big, fat, chunky fucks. 1.00

01:13:04.000 That's all they are. 1.00

01:13:05.000 Shut your mouth. 1.00

01:13:05.000 Look at those chunky fucking pieces of shit. 1.00

01:13:07.000 One of them looks beautiful. 1.00

01:13:07.000 The other one looks like a cop car. 1.00

01:13:10.000 The one on the right is the Challenger.

01:13:12.000 The one on the right here is the Charger. 0.99

01:13:15.000 That's what you get if you have kids and you still want to pretend you have a fucking family car. 1.00

01:13:18.000 Chunky, fucked up, chunky cars. 1.00

01:13:20.000 And look at that door panel. 1.00

01:13:22.000 Look at that bullshit indentation. 1.00

01:13:23.000 Oh, you're such a criminal. 1.00

01:13:24.000 And look at the butt on the back of the Challenger. 1.00

01:13:26.000 You should go to jail for this. 1.00

01:13:27.000 Fuck this. 1.00

01:13:28.000 Fuck those cars. 1.00

01:13:28.000 You should go to jail for this. 1.00

01:13:29.000 Fuck Dodge Chargers and Challengers. 1.00

01:13:33.000 I love the old ones. 1.00

01:13:34.000 Everyone's going to be like, you motherfucker! 0.99

01:13:35.000 They tried to do an homage to the old cars, and I think they nailed it. 1.00

01:13:40.000 I like the fat ones with the wide body.

01:13:42.000 Look at that one on the right.

01:13:43.000 Look at that one on the upper right.

01:13:44.000 Like right there.

01:13:45.000 Get that bigger.

01:13:46.000 Come on.

01:13:46.000 You don't like that?

01:13:47.000 It just doesn't do it for me, man.

01:13:48.000 If you don't like that...

01:13:50.000 No, it doesn't do it for me at all. 1.00

01:13:51.000 You like being shit on. 0.99

01:13:52.000 I like European sports cars, sorry. 1.00

01:13:54.000 I do too.

01:13:54.000 I just think, I don't like American muscle, new muscle.

01:13:58.000 I like old American muscle.

01:13:59.000 What about a GT500? Have you seen the new Shelby GT500? Yeah, yeah, look.

01:14:03.000 You don't like that?

01:14:03.000 Shelby makes beautiful cars.

01:14:05.000 I just, it's not, I'm not an American muscle guy. 1.00

01:14:08.000 I like European sexy fucking... 0.98

01:14:11.000 Pull up a 2021 silver with black stripes Shelby GT500. First of all, you know I'm not driving around with stripes on my fucking car. 1.00

01:14:18.000 You should. 0.99

01:14:18.000 I'm not 14. Let everybody know you're a racer. 0.99

01:14:21.000 I'm a quick guy, beep beep.

01:14:22.000 I'm into going fast! 1.00

01:14:23.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:14:24.000 To me... 1.00

01:14:25.000 I wanna go fast!

01:14:25.000 To me, I like the sleekness of European speed.

01:14:28.000 I think it's sexy as fuck. 0.97

01:14:28.000 Do you know that if you're not first, you're last? 0.97

01:14:32.000 Ricky Bobby?

01:14:33.000 Is this an ad for Talladega Nights?

01:14:36.000 Look at that!

01:14:38.000 It's fine. 1.00

01:14:39.000 Shut your fucking hole. 1.00

01:14:40.000 Make that full screen. 1.00

01:14:42.000 Come on, son.

01:14:43.000 No, look, Shelby makes a... 1.00

01:14:45.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

01:14:46.000 That's gorgeous. 1.00

01:14:47.000 The only problem with that is it's a Mustang.

01:14:49.000 I'm gonna buy one right now.

01:14:49.000 But outside of that, it's a nice car.

01:14:51.000 The only problem with that...

01:14:52.000 What did you even say?

01:14:55.000 Bro, that's an amazing car.

01:14:56.000 I just like baiting you, bro.

01:14:57.000 I just really like baiting you.

01:14:58.000 That's an amazing car. 1.00

01:14:59.000 No, Shelby makes a fucking beautiful car. 1.00

01:15:00.000 Look how pretty that is. 1.00

01:15:01.000 Gorgeous, man.

01:15:02.000 Oh, I love it.

01:15:02.000 Yeah, still a Mustang.

01:15:03.000 Hottest car in the lot.

01:15:04.000 Still a Mustang.

01:15:05.000 What does that mean?

01:15:06.000 When you open the door, it goes bum bum bum. 1.00

01:15:08.000 Still has a fucking- No, I like it. 0.99

01:15:09.000 You don't like Mustangs? 0.99

01:15:10.000 No, I don't like Mustangs.

01:15:11.000 Are you a snob already?

01:15:12.000 Yeah.

01:15:12.000 What are you gonna do when you get really rich?

01:15:14.000 I'm never gonna get really rich.

01:15:15.000 I'm gonna stay- I wanna fly right under the clouds.

01:15:17.000 Here's my thing.

01:15:18.000 I like those cars.

01:15:18.000 They're beautiful.

01:15:19.000 My biggest beef with American muscle cars is the interiors look like fucking toys. 0.99

01:15:23.000 That's not true. 1.00

01:15:24.000 Yeah, they look like shit. 1.00

01:15:25.000 Not anymore. 0.99

01:15:25.000 American muscle cars on the inside, there's nothing sexy about their interiors. 0.99

01:15:28.000 Is a Corvette a muscle car?

01:15:31.000 Sure, of course.

01:15:32.000 Okay.

01:15:33.000 Pull up 2021 Corvette interior.

01:15:35.000 It's gorgeous. 1.00

01:15:36.000 It looks like shit. 1.00

01:15:36.000 You don't know what you're talking about. 1.00

01:15:37.000 It looks like shit. 1.00

01:15:38.000 You're talking a lot of nonsense. 1.00

01:15:39.000 Pull it up and let's see it. 1.00

01:15:40.000 I'm gonna keep talking that fucking nonsense, dude. 1.00

01:15:42.000 Straight out of your butthole. 1.00

01:15:42.000 You fed me some sauce and I'm gonna go for it. 1.00

01:15:45.000 It's the Irish curse. 1.00

01:15:47.000 You gave me the sauce, I'm going for it. 0.60

01:15:48.000 Yeah, it is cursed. 1.00

01:15:49.000 Look at the inside of that fucking bullshit toy. 1.00

01:15:51.000 Like a kid designed that. 1.00

01:15:52.000 Like a fucking smart kid that's gonna figure out how to get to the moon quick. 1.00

01:15:56.000 Look at how dumb that fucking looks. 1.00

01:15:56.000 Look at how fucking dumb that looks. 1.00

01:15:57.000 Please. 1.00

01:15:58.000 Yeah, so dumb. 1.00

01:15:58.000 It makes my dick hard. 1.00

01:16:00.000 What are you saying? 1.00

01:16:01.000 It looks like a dumb toy. 1.00

01:16:02.000 Why is it dumb? 1.00

01:16:03.000 Don't give me that right hand drive shit. 1.00

01:16:04.000 Look at that. 1.00

01:16:05.000 Look at that.

01:16:05.000 Come on.

01:16:06.000 Stupid. 1.00

01:16:07.000 Stupid. 1.00

01:16:07.000 What are you saying? 1.00

01:16:08.000 What is that, an iPad?

01:16:09.000 What would you need that for?

01:16:10.000 What is that?

01:16:11.000 So you can see where you're going.

01:16:14.000 By the way, I'll tell you what's the worst interior now.

01:16:17.000 Your boy Elon's, the Plaid Plus, the steering wheel, they cut in half.

01:16:20.000 I don't like that. 0.99

01:16:21.000 What the fuck was he thinking? 1.00

01:16:22.000 I don't like that steering wheel. 1.00

01:16:22.000 That's a bad idea. 1.00

01:16:23.000 You know why?

01:16:23.000 Because I drive like this.

01:16:24.000 Everybody does.

01:16:25.000 I put my hand on...

01:16:26.000 You know why?

01:16:26.000 I like to look at dudes on the side.

01:16:27.000 What's up?

01:16:28.000 What's up, bro?

01:16:29.000 What's up, bro?

01:16:30.000 That's why I don't tint my windows. 1.00

01:16:31.000 You see me in this fucking car. 0.99

01:16:32.000 I don't want a 10 and 2. I don't know why he did that, because I genuinely wanted to buy one of those. 0.99

01:16:36.000 I think his idea is that ultimately all cars are going to be autonomous.

01:16:40.000 You're going to press a button, take me to Chito Santito's house.

01:16:44.000 I don't want that.

01:16:44.000 You don't want that either though, right?

01:16:46.000 I want options.

01:16:47.000 Right.

01:16:48.000 Yeah.

01:16:48.000 But I don't want the car to get in to just automatically go.

01:16:50.000 I used to enjoy going home from the comedy store if I was a little bit tired and I was driving home at night, like I did a late spot and it's like one o'clock in the morning.

01:16:57.000 And I let it drive itself.

01:16:58.000 Come on.

01:16:59.000 That's terrible, bro.

01:17:00.000 I'm not interested in that low steering wheel.

01:17:03.000 I like it to go over the top.

01:17:04.000 But I think the idea is also you get full access to your screen.

01:17:07.000 I know, but let me say this.

01:17:09.000 My biggest beef with this thing, because I'm big on what the interior design...

01:17:12.000 Because I like design.

01:17:13.000 I like cool interior design.

01:17:14.000 Why does it have Netflix?

01:17:16.000 What is that?

01:17:17.000 He got a check for that.

01:17:17.000 Why does it show The Witcher?

01:17:18.000 Who paid them all?

01:17:20.000 That's actually the game, not the game on the car. 1.00

01:17:24.000 Oh, fuck! 1.00

01:17:25.000 That's not a Netflix show? 1.00

01:17:26.000 No, it's a game.

01:17:26.000 I mean, it is a Netflix show, I think, but that's the game.

01:17:28.000 But that's the video game. 0.99

01:17:29.000 Fucking game? 1.00

01:17:30.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:17:30.000 But this is my biggest beef. 1.00

01:17:31.000 The cheapest Tesla, the three or whatever, has the same interior as the top Teslas, too.

01:17:36.000 No, it doesn't.

01:17:37.000 Yes, they do. 1.00

01:17:37.000 You can't upgrade shit on the inside. 1.00

01:17:39.000 You can. 0.99

01:17:40.000 What can you upgrade?

01:17:41.000 Well, you don't have to do it with Tesla. 0.98

01:17:43.000 Can Joe Schmo fucking at home? 0.90

01:17:45.000 Yeah, you send it to Unplugged. 0.99

01:17:46.000 What is that company?

01:17:49.000 There's an amazing company that's literally right outside the gates of the Tesla factory. 0.97

01:17:55.000 I'm saying, when you build it online, you can't change shit on the inside. 0.83

01:17:58.000 You can change the color of the seats and the color of the dash. 0.96

01:18:01.000 That's it.

01:18:02.000 Mmm, I don't know.

01:18:03.000 No, I've done it.

01:18:04.000 I've tried to build the car like three times.

01:18:05.000 Huh?

01:18:06.000 Jamie knows.

01:18:06.000 He built the car three times.

01:18:08.000 I did it. 0.99

01:18:09.000 Bro, that looks dope as fuck. 0.99

01:18:12.000 Yeah, I guess, if you have no style. 1.00

01:18:14.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:18:15.000 Jamie, what did you do to the inside of your car? 1.00

01:18:18.000 Bro, that looks dope.

01:18:19.000 I bought Jamie his car.

01:18:21.000 He didn't even order it.

01:18:22.000 Did you?

01:18:22.000 Yeah.

01:18:23.000 You fucking liar. 1.00

01:18:24.000 I didn't say anything. 1.00

01:18:24.000 You fucking liar. 1.00

01:18:25.000 I withheld information. 1.00

01:18:27.000 I didn't lie. 1.00

01:18:27.000 Jamie, you're a fucking liar. 1.00

01:18:28.000 What are you saying? 1.00

01:18:28.000 As long as I've known you? 1.00

01:18:29.000 What happened?

01:18:30.000 I said, did you get it from Elon?

01:18:32.000 He said, no, he made me buy it.

01:18:34.000 No, that's not what you said.

01:18:35.000 That's what you said.

01:18:36.000 I said, we got it from Elon. 1.00

01:18:38.000 No, you fucking liar! 1.00

01:18:42.000 Jamie. 1.00

01:18:43.000 This is the best part of Jamie.

01:18:45.000 He can get away with that.

01:18:46.000 Jamie was about to buy one, and I said, hey, are you buying a Model X? And he goes, yeah, I'm about to order.

01:18:52.000 I go...

01:18:53.000 Don't, because I got you one.

01:18:55.000 I had to tell him, but I wanted him to get here and have the car with a bow on it.

01:19:00.000 That's nice.

01:19:01.000 But I had to.

01:19:01.000 And you didn't want to tell me that version, huh?

01:19:03.000 You wanted to be a cool guy, walking around, showing off.

01:19:05.000 He's just humble.

01:19:06.000 This would have been the second time you heard it.

01:19:08.000 Behind your back, different guy.

01:19:10.000 Different guy.

01:19:11.000 How's he different?

01:19:12.000 Because he walked around when he walked before you were in the studio, before you showed up.

01:19:15.000 Did he have fur coat?

01:19:16.000 He goes... 1.00

01:19:17.000 He had gold rings on and shit. 1.00

01:19:18.000 With the ponytail. 1.00

01:19:19.000 He takes the bun off.

01:19:21.000 Oh, I take my grill out.

01:19:22.000 He was letting his hair fly.

01:19:23.000 You haven't seen my grill.

01:19:24.000 Oh, you have a grill?

01:19:25.000 Do you?

01:19:27.000 I want you to have a grill. 0.96

01:19:28.000 So do I. I want you to have a grill with fangs. 0.99

01:19:30.000 I have thought about coming in. 0.99

01:19:32.000 Two sharp-ass fangs? 0.98

01:19:33.000 Two sharp-ass fangs with diamonds in them. 0.98

01:19:35.000 I have threatened to come in with cornrows one Monday. 0.96

01:19:37.000 No, bro, please don't do that.

01:19:39.000 Do it.

01:19:39.000 Why not?

01:19:40.000 Go to Cancun and go get it done like a cornrows.

01:19:42.000 It hurts.

01:19:43.000 Yeah, it does.

01:19:44.000 It does. 0.99

01:19:45.000 Speaking of it, Justin Bieber's getting some shit right now. 0.99

01:19:48.000 Why? 0.99

01:19:48.000 He's got dreads. 0.99

01:19:50.000 Oh, God.

01:19:50.000 Have you seen it?

01:19:51.000 Dude, can I leave this fucking kid alone? 0.99

01:19:53.000 This idea that dreads are somehow or another cultural appropriation. 1.00

01:19:57.000 Romans.

01:19:57.000 The Romans had dreads.

01:19:59.000 It's a sign of having dirty fucking hair. 1.00

01:20:01.000 That's all it is. 1.00

01:20:02.000 It's like dirty knotted hair.

01:20:03.000 Aren't we all appropriating everybody's everything?

01:20:05.000 What does that even mean anymore?

01:20:07.000 Cultural appropriation again.

01:20:08.000 Accused of cultural appropriation over his hair. 1.00

01:20:11.000 For dreading his fucking hair? 1.00

01:20:12.000 This is CNN? Yeah. 1.00

01:20:14.000 Oh my goodness, CNN. I just picked the first one because totally offensive.

01:20:17.000 You know, every headline says something.

01:20:19.000 Totally offensive?

01:20:20.000 Wait a minute.

01:20:20.000 Go to that one.

01:20:21.000 Click on that.

01:20:22.000 USA Today.

01:20:23.000 Totally.

01:20:24.000 That's why I didn't do that. 1.00

01:20:26.000 Fuck the hell. 1.00

01:20:27.000 Ad blocker. 1.00

01:20:28.000 They want to sell you ads.

01:20:30.000 Totally offensive.

01:20:32.000 I guess he had this before.

01:20:33.000 Can I tell you something?

01:20:34.000 Let me see the actual headline.

01:20:36.000 What does it say?

01:20:37.000 Totally offensive in quotes.

01:20:39.000 Justin Bieber accused of cultural appropriation.

01:20:41.000 Who wrote totally offensive?

01:20:43.000 Who's that quote?

01:20:44.000 Joe, I'm offended.

01:20:45.000 By who?

01:20:45.000 Me.

01:20:46.000 It's probably a post on the Instagram comment or something.

01:20:48.000 Oh, come on, man.

01:20:49.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:20:51.000 USA Today uses an Instagram comment as the title.

01:20:54.000 Is that how far we've fallen?

01:20:56.000 Yeah.

01:20:56.000 Well, look, by the way, go up for a second.

01:20:57.000 Wait, go up, Jamie.

01:20:59.000 It says right there, Swag's crazy, Jaden Smith commented under one of Bieber's posts.

01:21:03.000 So his black friend who said, oh, this is cool. 0.69

01:21:07.000 Hold up.

01:21:08.000 They're still allowed to go.

01:21:09.000 It's Will Smith's son.

01:21:10.000 Oh, he's not black? 0.98

01:21:11.000 I mean...

01:21:11.000 Will Smith's not black.

01:21:12.000 You're right.

01:21:13.000 That's right. 0.98

01:21:13.000 He's black. 0.98

01:21:14.000 Yeah, so what do you mean he's... 1.00

01:21:15.000 Of course he's fucking black. 1.00

01:21:16.000 But he grew up in a fucking... 1.00

01:21:17.000 So what? 1.00

01:21:18.000 Castle somewhere. 0.98

01:21:19.000 If his black friend is like, I got you, I feel like that's your card. 1.00

01:21:24.000 You go, they said I'm good.

01:21:26.000 Is that what you do?

01:21:27.000 If any of my black friends vouch for me on something I feel might be on the edge, I feel good. 1.00

01:21:32.000 I don't give a fuck what other people say. 0.99

01:21:34.000 Well... 1.00

01:21:35.000 If any black guy I know says I'm good with whatever that is, if I said, yo, is this offensive to any of my fucking black friends? 1.00

01:21:41.000 And they said, what are you fucking talking about? 0.99

01:21:43.000 Why would CNN matter to me? 0.99

01:21:44.000 Or USA Today?

01:21:45.000 As soon as they're not around, like, what is Cheeto doing with dreadlocks? 0.99

01:21:48.000 Can you imagine me with fucking red dreads? 0.99

01:21:50.000 Pippi Longstock. 1.00

01:21:52.000 What's his name?

01:21:53.000 Alexei Lalas.

01:21:54.000 Didn't he have dreads?

01:21:54.000 Look at that rose on his neck.

01:21:57.000 But here's the thing.

01:21:58.000 I give that kid a giant pass. 1.00

01:21:59.000 Leave this fucking kid alone. 1.00

01:22:00.000 I give that kid a giant pass the same way I give Miley Cyrus a giant pass and Demi Lovato a giant pass. 1.00

01:22:06.000 They grew up famous and you can't do that.

01:22:09.000 It's not right.

01:22:10.000 It's like mixing cement without enough water.

01:22:14.000 It doesn't work.

01:22:15.000 Too thick.

01:22:15.000 You grow crazy.

01:22:17.000 Well, here's my thing. 0.95

01:22:18.000 I've said this about him.

01:22:19.000 The first thing I ever did was punk.

01:22:21.000 That was the first thing I ever did.

01:22:22.000 And we worked with this kid, and he was on...

01:22:24.000 This was 12 years ago or whatever. 1.00

01:22:27.000 He got the most shit back then. 1.00

01:22:29.000 All they did was pick that fucking kid apart. 1.00

01:22:31.000 And he's tried over the years to try to reinvent himself, and he's a really good kid. 1.00

01:22:34.000 He's not a bad kid at all.

01:22:35.000 No, he's a good kid.

01:22:36.000 I've known him for a decade plus. 0.99

01:22:37.000 And he's fucking talented. 0.99

01:22:38.000 He's really talented. 1.00

01:22:39.000 Every fucking move he makes they're going to criticize, so he doesn't care anymore. 0.98

01:22:43.000 But my problem is they find stuff every single couple of years to try to bug him about because they want to find a hole in him. 0.99

01:22:51.000 Well, it's that, but it's also what we were talking about at the beginning of the show about clickbait stuff with journalism.

01:22:57.000 Yeah.

01:22:58.000 They need to make money.

01:22:59.000 Right, it's money.

01:23:00.000 Like, no one buys newspapers.

01:23:02.000 Right.

01:23:03.000 So the only way you can get a lot of people to click on something is you've got to kind of be outrageous.

01:23:08.000 Justin Bieber's racist.

01:23:09.000 I mean, it's just like these key words.

01:23:11.000 Totally offensive.

01:23:12.000 Right.

01:23:12.000 Some Instagram commenter is literally the opening line.

01:23:17.000 Right.

01:23:17.000 Some random person.

01:23:18.000 Means nothing. 0.98

01:23:18.000 There might be a Russian troll. 0.98

01:23:20.000 They might be in a fucking warehouse somewhere typing in, what is it, acrylic? 1.00

01:23:24.000 Is that stuff called? 0.99

01:23:25.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:23:25.000 What's that shit called? 0.99

01:23:26.000 I think you're right. 1.00

01:23:27.000 Krillic, yeah. 0.99

01:23:29.000 Who knows what the fuck? 0.97

01:23:30.000 They might Krillic to English dictionary. 0.98

01:23:32.000 What do you think the percentage of bots are on Twitter and Instagram, truly, though?

01:23:35.000 What are fake Russian bots? 0.97

01:23:36.000 Every time I post, the fucking whole thing is filled with bots until regular people start commenting. 0.99

01:23:42.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:23:43.000 I wonder if they could even regulate the percentage.

01:23:46.000 It's wild.

01:23:46.000 It's got to be 20-30% of bots.

01:23:47.000 I did an experiment about a year ago where I posted something and then I just kept clicking and took how much time it took before I saw a real comment.

01:23:58.000 How much time was it?

01:23:59.000 Because I was like...

01:24:00.000 Jamie, when was it do you think that I started getting all those bots?

01:24:04.000 Like, I need something long and hard.

01:24:06.000 I'm pretty sure when it happened is when...

01:24:11.000 They allowed the ability for PC users or Windows.

01:24:15.000 There's like a Windows app for Instagram.

01:24:16.000 Because you could then create the script or the bot on a computer to do it.

01:24:21.000 Instead of using a phone.

01:24:22.000 You would need a phone.

01:24:23.000 Because it used to only be phone.

01:24:25.000 Correct.

01:24:25.000 Up until a certain time and then they opened up the platform.

01:24:28.000 So I remember I got a text message from my friend who goes, what's up with the fucking bots on all your comments? 0.94

01:24:35.000 And this was long after I had sort of sworn off of reading comments. 0.88

01:24:39.000 So I was like, how many of them are?

01:24:42.000 He goes, all. 1.00

01:24:43.000 It's all your fucking, all your comments are these bots. 1.00

01:24:46.000 So then I started reading these bots. 1.00

01:24:47.000 I go, what is this? 0.96

01:24:48.000 And I would go to the page and it would be like four pictures of a girl's ass and some weird link that you click where they immediately... 1.00

01:24:54.000 Get your fucking credit card information. 0.99

01:24:56.000 It says, don't click here if you don't want to come. 1.00

01:24:58.000 That's every single one.

01:25:00.000 That's every single one.

01:25:02.000 But dude, it took like 10 seconds before a real comment showed up.

01:25:06.000 Right.

01:25:06.000 And in that 10, I kept clicking, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh.

01:25:10.000 And in that time, there was hundreds of bots.

01:25:13.000 So I'm like, okay, this has to be profitable.

01:25:16.000 But how?

01:25:17.000 Oh, it is.

01:25:18.000 How is it profitable? 1.00

01:25:19.000 It's just like, people that are so fucking stupid, they're like, whoa, she really is alone. 1.00

01:25:24.000 Yep. 1.00

01:25:24.000 She really is lonely and she's a long, hard dick. 1.00

01:25:26.000 In fact, the bots have gotten so fucking good now. 1.00

01:25:29.000 Like, I've even seen, if a bot will comment on my page, I just automatically, I like see it, it'll come up and I'm like, alright, fucking gone.

01:25:37.000 If you click on these bot pages now, not like that anymore. 0.96

01:25:42.000 They're 50 to 100 pictures, generated photos, and they have other bots that comment on their pages, but they're trying to, the algorithms are trying to create them, so they say real shit, like, see you in Texas next month, girly. 0.98

01:25:54.000 Oh, so then you go to that, and you go, oh, I'll follow her, look at that ass. 1.00

01:25:58.000 It's getting advanced as fuck. 1.00

01:26:02.000 And people are doing it, why wouldn't? 0.99

01:26:04.000 Some lonely dude, you think you're not gonna trick? 1.00

01:26:06.000 I mean, anytime you see a commercial late at night, you know, you're watching TV late at night and you're like, who's buying this fucking bullshit? 1.00

01:26:12.000 Right, who is buying this fucking bullshit? 1.00

01:26:13.000 Millions of humans. 1.00

01:26:14.000 The same guys that are sucking into these fucking bots. 1.00

01:26:16.000 They exist, there's a fuckload of them. 1.00

01:26:18.000 What a weird world. 0.77

01:26:20.000 What a weird world.

01:26:21.000 It's brilliant.

01:26:22.000 Did you know New York just made prostitution legal? 0.98

01:26:27.000 I'll be touring around New York this winter.

01:26:29.000 Is that real?

01:26:30.000 I'm looking.

01:26:31.000 I hope so.

01:26:32.000 I read something about that.

01:26:33.000 God, I hope.

01:26:34.000 You know what?

01:26:34.000 Finally.

01:26:35.000 Well, look.

01:26:35.000 Everyone's so positive.

01:26:36.000 Sex work now.

01:26:37.000 This is how little research I do.

01:26:39.000 Let me explain to you how little research I do.

01:26:41.000 Manhattan to stop prosecuting.

01:26:43.000 Manhattan to stop prosecuting prostitution, part of nationwide shift.

01:26:46.000 Way to go, Cyrus R. Vance Jr. Look at that guy. 1.00

01:26:49.000 You know he can't wait to get his dick sucked. 1.00

01:26:51.000 Look at him. 1.00

01:26:52.000 I myself don't get prostitutes. 1.00

01:26:54.000 Look how hard he's gripping that podium.

01:26:55.000 I'm like, eventually I'm going to get free.

01:26:57.000 He hasn't come in years. 0.99

01:26:58.000 He can't wait to get a hooker. 0.99

01:27:00.000 He's going to do Emil Nitrate. 1.00

01:27:01.000 He's going to bust one of them capsules under his nose.

01:27:07.000 So that just means they won't prosecute you, but they'll bust you.

01:27:13.000 But they won't charge you, right?

01:27:14.000 No, they won't arrest you.

01:27:17.000 They won't arrest you.

01:27:18.000 Well, it says prosecution, so they can break up something, right?

01:27:22.000 What does that mean?

01:27:24.000 Because I think prosecute means to the full...

01:27:25.000 What?

01:27:26.000 It's just like fun...

01:27:27.000 I'll let you read it. 0.99

01:27:28.000 Now he's looking at hookers. 0.94

01:27:31.000 The attorney, Cyrus R. Vance Jr., asked a judge Wednesday morning to dismiss 914 open cases involving prostitution and unlicensed massage.

01:27:43.000 That's hilarious.

01:27:45.000 I'm going to rub people, but I need to go to the government first.

01:27:48.000 Along with 5,080 cases in which the charge was loitering for the purpose of prostitution, the law made the latter charge a crime, which had become known as the walking while trans law.

01:28:01.000 What?

01:28:03.000 Why is that?

01:28:04.000 Walking while trans? 0.98

01:28:04.000 Do you know what that's based on? 0.98

01:28:06.000 Like walking while black? 0.58

01:28:07.000 Do you know that phrase?

01:28:08.000 I thought it was about Jim Norton.

01:28:10.000 I mean, that is.

01:28:12.000 The announcement represents a substantive shift in substantiative.

01:28:18.000 That's a weird word.

01:28:19.000 Substantiative.

01:28:20.000 I know, but...

01:28:21.000 Substantiative.

01:28:26.000 Look how it's spelled.

01:28:28.000 Substantiative.

01:28:29.000 How do you say it, Jamie?

01:28:31.000 Substantive.

01:28:32.000 But it's not titive.

01:28:34.000 It's tiv.

01:28:35.000 Substantive.

01:28:36.000 In Chicago, we run through it.

01:28:37.000 Substantive.

01:28:38.000 Substantive.

01:28:41.000 Substantive.

01:28:42.000 Substantive. 1.00

01:28:45.000 We'll be right back with three idiots trying to read here on Joe Rogan Experience. 0.99

01:28:49.000 In the Manhattan district attorney's approach to prostitution, many of the cases Mr. Vance moved to dismiss dated to the 1970s and 80s. 0.99

01:28:57.000 What? 0.99

01:28:58.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:28:59.000 What? 0.99

01:29:00.000 Cases?

01:29:01.000 Cases from the 70s? 0.99

01:29:02.000 Who's locked up for sucking dick from the 70s? 1.00

01:29:05.000 Jesus, let that guy go. 1.00

01:29:08.000 I was just trying to have fun when the New York waged a war against prostitution in an effort to clean up its image as the center of iniquity. 1.00

01:29:17.000 What's that word?

01:29:18.000 Inequity.

01:29:19.000 No, but it's not inequity.

01:29:20.000 It's iniquity.

01:29:21.000 Oh, right.

01:29:22.000 It's not inequity.

01:29:23.000 What is that word?

01:29:24.000 I know what vice is. 1.00

01:29:25.000 It's a fucking website. 1.00

01:29:27.000 Immoral or grossly unfair behavior. 1.00

01:29:30.000 Iniquity. 1.00

01:29:30.000 Grossly unfair if you suck someone's dick for money? 1.00

01:29:32.000 Seems pretty fair to me. 1.00

01:29:34.000 A den of iniquity.

01:29:35.000 Ooh, immorality.

01:29:37.000 Synonym is impropriety. 0.74

01:29:39.000 Maybe I should call that...

01:29:40.000 That's your next special.

01:29:41.000 Name from a comedy club.

01:29:42.000 Iniquity.

01:29:43.000 Over the last decade, we've learned from those with lived experience and from our own experience on the ground, criminally prosecuting prostitution does not make us safer and too often achieves the opposite results by further marginalizing vulnerable New Yorkers.

01:30:02.000 Oh, good for him.

01:30:03.000 That's really wise, and I hope they apply that same logic to drugs.

01:30:07.000 Yeah.

01:30:08.000 Including patronizing sex workers, promoting prostitution, and sex trafficking. 0.95

01:30:15.000 Okay.

01:30:15.000 Listen, man, I'm all for people having freedom, and I think if it's legal to be a gold digger, it should be legal to be a hoe.

01:30:21.000 Yeah!

01:30:22.000 Get out of here, Jamie.

01:30:23.000 But I agree with that. 0.99

01:30:24.000 He's going to go shave his head and come back and freak us out.

01:30:27.000 I hope he does.

01:30:28.000 That's like, I learned what this means.

01:30:30.000 Do you know what this means?

01:30:31.000 What'd you just do with your hand?

01:30:32.000 Watch this.

01:30:33.000 This?

01:30:34.000 Yeah.

01:30:34.000 Okay, let me tell everybody what you did.

01:30:35.000 You made a fist with your knuckle under your fingers instead of over your fingers, which is how my kids thought you're supposed to punch people when I was first teaching them karate.

01:30:44.000 Bad move.

01:30:45.000 Break your whole fucking wrist. 1.00

01:30:47.000 I'll fuck somebody up like that. 1.00

01:30:49.000 But this, like, with your knuckle in? 1.00

01:30:50.000 Yeah, I'll fuck you up like that. 1.00

01:30:51.000 You want to box? 1.00

01:30:52.000 Let's go.

01:30:52.000 I mean, it won't be my best.

01:30:54.000 You think I'm scared to box you, Joe?

01:30:55.000 It won't be my best.

01:30:56.000 The fans know.

01:30:57.000 Let's go.

01:30:57.000 It won't be my best punches.

01:30:58.000 It'll be the worst punches.

01:31:00.000 Every time, it's like hitting a baseball in the winter. 1.00

01:31:02.000 It's fucking stingers, bro. 0.99

01:31:04.000 This means, okay, open your palm. 1.00

01:31:06.000 If you see a young woman, open her palm, put her thumb in her palm and close her fingers. 1.00

01:31:10.000 I'm dead serious because I looked at this article.

01:31:13.000 This means sex trafficking.

01:31:15.000 This means I'm being trapped.

01:31:17.000 If you see this in public, this is a real thing.

01:31:19.000 It's all over the internet now.

01:31:21.000 If you see a woman fold her thumb and do this, this means I'm being sex trafficked. 1.00

01:31:25.000 I'm being held captive.

01:31:27.000 Internationally, it's the international symbol for I need help.

01:31:29.000 Where's Jamie when we need him?

01:31:31.000 He's out there feeding. 1.00

01:31:31.000 I know, he's fucking pissing like a loser. 1.00

01:31:32.000 When he comes back, we're going to talk about that. 1.00

01:31:34.000 How'd you learn that?

01:31:34.000 On the internet.

01:31:35.000 I was watching a video.

01:31:36.000 Is it the same people who think that this means white power?

01:31:39.000 Well, it does.

01:31:40.000 What?

01:31:41.000 It means okay.

01:31:41.000 I was at the meeting.

01:31:42.000 I said, yeah, I was one of the eyes.

01:31:46.000 I said yes.

01:31:48.000 Jamie, we gotta look something up, sorry.

01:31:52.000 Cheeto was saying that- The eyes have it.

01:31:54.000 There's a thing, there's a symbol- Well, ask if he knows.

01:31:56.000 Do you know what this means when you take your finger, you put your thumb under your fingers and make a fist like that?

01:32:01.000 If you saw a woman in public do this, do you know what that means? 0.99

01:32:04.000 I've been seeing something like there's some sex trafficking thing going on.

01:32:07.000 Boom! 0.99

01:32:07.000 See? 0.99

01:32:07.000 He does know. 0.99

01:32:08.000 Wow!

01:32:08.000 Welcome to the party.

01:32:09.000 How do I miss out there?

01:32:10.000 This is what happens when you stay off social media.

01:32:13.000 You know what it is though?

01:32:14.000 I'm so behind the loop.

01:32:16.000 Or the curve.

01:32:17.000 Here's the trick.

01:32:17.000 When you go into a bathroom in the airport, you know how it says call this number if there's sex trafficking and all that stuff?

01:32:22.000 Don't you think the sex traffickers see that?

01:32:24.000 They're not letting the kids go to the bathroom.

01:32:25.000 They're not letting these girls go to the bathroom then at the airport. 1.00

01:32:27.000 They don't give them phones either, right? 0.99

01:32:28.000 What the fuck? 0.99

01:32:29.000 Yeah, what do you mean? 1.00

01:32:30.000 That's never going to help them.

01:32:31.000 But this is why.

01:32:32.000 This is why they invented this.

01:32:33.000 Seriously.

01:32:34.000 He wants to see it on...

01:32:35.000 See where we...

01:32:35.000 But it's...

01:32:36.000 If you ever see a woman in public do this to you, if she's with men, a group of men, it means I'm being sex trafficked. 0.90

01:32:42.000 Wow! 0.68

01:32:42.000 Yeah. 0.68

01:32:43.000 And go fuck those dudes up. 1.00

01:32:45.000 Beat the shit out of those dudes. 1.00

01:32:46.000 But don't do it like this. 1.00

01:32:47.000 No, don't hide.

01:32:48.000 Don't put your knuckles in your...

01:32:49.000 Don't put your thumbs in your wrist.

01:32:52.000 Right, so this means I'm being, yeah, signal for violence.

01:32:55.000 The violence at home.

01:32:57.000 Right.

01:32:57.000 Oh, violence at home as well.

01:32:59.000 Yeah, it's all the above.

01:33:00.000 So it's some sort of violence for women. 1.00

01:33:03.000 So a woman to signal that she's in danger. 1.00

01:33:05.000 Right, it means there's sexual abuse or physical abuse happening and I need your help. 1.00

01:33:09.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:33:11.000 Yeah, it's on a video call, too. 1.00

01:33:13.000 There's a couple security things that have been caught where a girl gets taken in somewhere, and the guy goes to the bathroom, and she's playing, like, give me a pizza.

01:33:22.000 And they're like, what do you want a pizza?

01:33:24.000 This is Yvette.

01:33:25.000 We're talking about pizza.

01:33:26.000 Correct.

01:33:26.000 They'll call 911, and you're supposed to order a pizza is another code.

01:33:31.000 You call 911, and you go, hi, yeah, Domino's?

01:33:34.000 And they're like, 911. Yeah, but what if some dude answers the phone and doesn't give up, hello, 911?

01:33:39.000 I'm ordering a pizza. 0.97

01:33:40.000 You got the wrong number, dummy. 0.96

01:33:41.000 Or he's like, me too. 0.89

01:33:42.000 What do you want?

01:33:43.000 I'll order one for both of us.

01:33:44.000 Yeah, I like pepperoni.

01:33:45.000 Do you like mushrooms with your pepperoni?

01:33:48.000 Right, that's the code.

01:33:49.000 It's either order a pizza.

01:33:50.000 I've seen that on the internet a lot now.

01:33:52.000 I wish pepperoni and mushroom pizza was good for you.

01:33:55.000 How is it not, though?

01:33:56.000 Because it's bad for you.

01:33:57.000 But tell me what's bad about it.

01:33:58.000 Gluten.

01:33:59.000 Okay.

01:34:00.000 Cauliflower crust.

01:34:01.000 We're drinking whiskey, smoking cigars.

01:34:03.000 Cauliflower crust.

01:34:03.000 Yeah.

01:34:04.000 Again, you fucking communist. 1.00

01:34:07.000 Cauliflower crust? 1.00

01:34:07.000 I didn't invest it. 1.00

01:34:08.000 I've heard of it.

01:34:09.000 Are you investing in cauliflower crust again?

01:34:11.000 I'm not investing in it either.

01:34:12.000 He's got Bitcoin and cauliflower crust.

01:34:13.000 NFTs.

01:34:14.000 I feel like if you're going to have pizza, you should have pizza.

01:34:16.000 Like, if you're going to have ice cream, you should have ice cream.

01:34:19.000 Real ice cream. 0.99

01:34:20.000 That being said, I do fuck with gelato very hard. 1.00

01:34:23.000 Yeah, but gelato's great. 1.00

01:34:24.000 It's like a kind of ice cream, right? 0.98

01:34:26.000 But I'm too dumb to know. 0.87

01:34:27.000 What is the difference between gelato? 1.00

01:34:28.000 I'm a stupid person. 1.00

01:34:29.000 What is the difference? 1.00

01:34:29.000 But when I have it, I know it's better than ice cream for some reason. 1.00

01:34:32.000 No.

01:34:33.000 Ben and Jerry's?

01:34:34.000 Come on, Chunky Monkey? 0.95

01:34:35.000 I'll take gelato. 0.99

01:34:36.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

01:34:37.000 I'll take gelato any day of the week, Joe. 1.00

01:34:38.000 Did you just say you take gelato over Ben and Jerry's?

01:34:42.000 100%.

01:34:42.000 The flavors of gelato are just as endless and it's smooth and creamy.

01:34:47.000 It's never too hard and too cold.

01:34:48.000 Gelato is perfect. 0.98

01:34:49.000 We sound like Joe DeRosa and you know him and fucking Sal Volcano have a show. 0.91

01:34:54.000 They just argue food for an hour called Taste Buds. 0.89

01:34:56.000 Really?

01:34:56.000 Yeah, they just yell at each other.

01:34:58.000 That's their show?

01:34:59.000 Yeah, it's called Taste Buds. 0.99

01:35:00.000 It's fucking great. 0.99

01:35:01.000 They just argue for an hour. 0.99

01:35:02.000 About food?

01:35:03.000 But it's that.

01:35:04.000 It's this kind of thing.

01:35:05.000 It's ice cream versus gelato.

01:35:06.000 It's pancakes versus waffles.

01:35:07.000 Why don't you move here, dude? 1.00

01:35:08.000 What are you doing fucking around in LA? Buy me a fucking Tesla and a house and I'll move here. 1.00

01:35:12.000 I will. 1.00

01:35:12.000 Will you? 1.00

01:35:13.000 Really?

01:35:14.000 Okay, do it.

01:35:14.000 Buy me a Tesla and a house and I'll move here.

01:35:16.000 Really?

01:35:16.000 Yes.

01:35:17.000 Okay.

01:35:18.000 If you do it, I'll move here.

01:35:19.000 Okay.

01:35:20.000 But I want to be near you.

01:35:21.000 I'll buy you a house in East LA. No! 0.98

01:35:23.000 Dude!

01:35:25.000 Nice tent for you.

01:35:25.000 He didn't tell me where to buy you a house.

01:35:27.000 I know. 1.00

01:35:27.000 I'll buy you a house in the shittiest fucking neighborhood. 1.00

01:35:29.000 What's the worst neighborhood here? 1.00

01:35:31.000 Not that East LA is the shittiest neighborhood.

01:35:32.000 What's the shittiest neighborhood?

01:35:34.000 I don't know.

01:35:34.000 What's the shittiest neighborhood here in Austin?

01:35:36.000 Is there a bad one?

01:35:38.000 There's some sketchy spots where all the homeless people live, but they're planning on cleaning that up in some way.

01:35:43.000 But there's a lot of, like, bleeding hearts that don't want them to end the camping ban.

01:35:49.000 Tent law, right?

01:35:50.000 They have tent...

01:35:50.000 We have tent...

01:35:51.000 They're trying to...

01:35:52.000 That's real soon.

01:35:53.000 They're going to vote on this.

01:35:54.000 And, you know, unfortunately, like, banning people from camping is not the entire solution.

01:35:59.000 The solution is providing them housing and then also providing them some sort of a window...

01:36:05.000 To re-enter society.

01:36:08.000 You have to help them.

01:36:09.000 But here's the problem with that.

01:36:10.000 And I'll say this from a personal note.

01:36:12.000 Someone that we know, on a personal note, works in this field.

01:36:15.000 I don't need to say it.

01:36:18.000 LA tried to institute this hotel. 0.99

01:36:20.000 It's called...

01:36:21.000 Keys for Change, maybe, I think that's what it's called, where they were implementing during the pandemic hotels that had no occupancy, that the city was subsidizing these hotels, giving them money so homeless and people with mental health issues and drug addictions could stay in these hotel rooms, right, at a cost to the hotel,

01:36:39.000 and they would get paid from the city.

01:36:42.000 They then found out, you can look up the articles about it, so many of these fucking chains were not giving any of these rooms to people, and they were keeping the money. 0.93

01:36:48.000 It was like, so my beef with any of this stuff... 0.88

01:36:51.000 Yes, it's the same thing as someone I know works with LAUSD. The school system is fucked for these same reasons. 0.99

01:36:58.000 The money is being thrown into these areas, but it's being thrown by this big blanket. 0.99

01:37:04.000 There is no specific way. 0.92

01:37:06.000 So when we say stuff like, I want to help these people, I want to get them off, the problem is the bureaucracy of these fucking systems is way too big and they don't really work. 0.97

01:37:14.000 That's the beef. 0.95

01:37:15.000 So it would take smaller, chunky entities that get this thing done instead of... 0.99

01:37:21.000 You know, how do we get these guys off the fucking street? 0.98

01:37:24.000 L.A. tried. 1.00

01:37:25.000 And then these hotels were liars. 1.00

01:37:27.000 And then they fucking caught them. 1.00

01:37:28.000 You want to get your mind blown? 1.00

01:37:29.000 Give it to me.

01:37:30.000 How much do you think L.A. spent on homelessness in 2020?

01:37:33.000 Oh my God.

01:37:34.000 Take a guess.

01:37:36.000 I just am, for the sake of it, half a billion.

01:37:39.000 Wow, you're pretty close.

01:37:40.000 Yeah.

01:37:41.000 Was it really?

01:37:42.000 Yeah.

01:37:42.000 How much is it?

01:37:43.000 400-something million.

01:37:44.000 Right, right.

01:37:44.000 But here's the thing.

01:37:45.000 Coleon Noir was on the podcast, and he's a lawyer.

01:37:48.000 Yeah.

01:37:49.000 You know who he is?

01:37:50.000 Well, I know from the podcast.

01:37:51.000 He told me that he went to San Francisco, and he was speaking to someone, and he was saying, like, they need to up the budget.

01:37:58.000 They need to figure this out.

01:37:59.000 He goes, no, no, you don't understand.

01:38:00.000 Because the budget's huge.

01:38:01.000 Right, it's not the budget.

01:38:02.000 Because that's not what the problem is.

01:38:03.000 The problem is it becomes a bureaucratic institution and then a bunch of people, that's their job, is to deal with the homeless situation and they never deal with it.

01:38:12.000 They never fix it.

01:38:13.000 They just keep working and they get paid.

01:38:15.000 And then they keep this institution going.

01:38:16.000 And every year, we need more money.

01:38:18.000 Correct.

01:38:18.000 And it just keeps going up and up and up.

01:38:20.000 LA dedicates $1 billion to fight homelessness. 0.96

01:38:24.000 What does that even fucking mean? 0.96

01:38:25.000 They're gonna fight it. 0.99

01:38:26.000 They're gonna go out there and they're gonna fuck these people up. 0.99

01:38:28.000 Thumbs inside something? 1.00

01:38:29.000 Thumbs inside.

01:38:31.000 What is that fighting homelessness?

01:38:32.000 They should take the same people that are fighting the war on drugs and fight the war on homelessness and then lose at both of them.

01:38:38.000 Yeah, lose both wars.

01:38:40.000 By the way, you know what that reminded me of to read that was bumfights. 0.68

01:38:42.000 Do you remember bumfights? 0.99

01:38:43.000 I do remember bumfights. 1.00

01:38:44.000 Wild as shit. 0.99

01:38:45.000 They would just pay those guys in Vegas to slug it out. 1.00

01:38:47.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:38:48.000 And I remember how fucked up they got really lit up online. 0.99

01:38:52.000 They got criticized, but their whole thing was all these homeless dudes were like, it's fucking great. 0.99

01:38:56.000 They're giving us money. 0.93

01:38:57.000 They're feeding us, giving us a place to live.

01:38:59.000 We're loving it. 0.95

01:38:59.000 The juxtaposition was they were doing more for homeless than the city would ever fucking do. 0.95

01:39:03.000 That was the irony. 0.99

01:39:04.000 It was so fucked up to publicize these fights and to profit from it, but they were paying these guys. 0.99

01:39:09.000 And giving them... 0.99

01:39:09.000 They were like, oh, they're willing to fucking scrap it out on the streets. 0.99

01:39:12.000 And then it became... 0.99

01:39:14.000 Well, they also paid a guy to pull his own tooth out with a fucking pair of pliers. 0.99

01:39:17.000 It was an old tooth. 1.00

01:39:19.000 It was fucked up. 0.99

01:39:20.000 It needed to come out. 1.00

01:39:21.000 Are you sure?

01:39:21.000 No, but, you know, we'll stick by then.

01:39:24.000 I don't fucking know. 0.98

01:39:25.000 That video was wild. 1.00

01:39:27.000 You know what the craziest shit was? 1.00

01:39:27.000 Felony fights. 1.00

01:39:28.000 What is this?

01:39:29.000 It's a cigar.

01:39:31.000 Felony fights is the craziest.

01:39:32.000 But weed in it or no?

01:39:32.000 What do you think?

01:39:33.000 Well, because otherwise I'm not gonna inhale if it's not...

01:39:35.000 Oh, there we go.

01:39:36.000 There we go.

01:39:37.000 There we go.

01:39:38.000 Felony fights.

01:39:39.000 Do you remember felony fights?

01:39:40.000 You ever see those?

01:39:41.000 No.

01:39:41.000 They were the worst.

01:39:42.000 They would pay guys to have a fucking fist fight to the death in a fucking orange orchard. 1.00

01:39:47.000 What? 1.00

01:39:47.000 Oh my god, it was horrible. 1.00

01:39:49.000 I've never heard of this shit. 1.00

01:39:50.000 This one guy beats the fuck out of this other guy. 1.00

01:39:52.000 One guy, this Mexican kid who knows how to fight, fights this white kid who definitely doesn't know how to fight. 0.99

01:39:56.000 They both just got out of jail.

01:39:58.000 That's the title?

01:39:58.000 And they talk about where they went to jail and what they were in for, and then they fight.

01:40:02.000 And the Mexican dude catches this dude with a punch, knocks him out, and then the guy goes down.

01:40:06.000 And as he goes down, the guy starts kicking him in the head, and then he just drops giant knees on his face.

01:40:11.000 Oh, bro.

01:40:12.000 While he's unconscious.

01:40:13.000 They don't stop the fight at all.

01:40:14.000 And the dude's out cold, just getting...

01:40:16.000 Blast in the head and he starts snorling.

01:40:21.000 Why are you laughing?

01:40:23.000 Because I saw it in my head, the cartoon image of a guy.

01:40:26.000 It's so rough.

01:40:27.000 Terrible. 0.99

01:40:28.000 And as a guy who's seen a disproportionate amount of people get fucked up. 1.00

01:40:33.000 Right. 0.99

01:40:34.000 Like, if you wanted to go throughout human history and say, how many people have you seen get knocked the fuck out? 0.58

01:40:41.000 How many people have you seen get blasted unconscious?

01:40:44.000 I am in the one one hundredth of one percent of all the people that have ever lived.

01:40:49.000 You've seen the most.

01:40:52.000 There's a few other people like me, like Mike Goldberg and John Anik and DC and Dominic Cruz.

01:41:00.000 I've seen more people get knocked the fuck out than almost anybody that's ever lived.

01:41:05.000 You guys' reaction, you and Anik's reaction was hilarious, by the way.

01:41:08.000 Dude, I never stop loving it, man.

01:41:09.000 I never stop loving that sport.

01:41:11.000 When someone rises like Thug Rose or Kamaru Usman or someone rises to the occasion, I will never stop loving it. 0.99

01:41:17.000 I've been doing this shit for so long and I can't help myself. 0.86

01:41:21.000 I will say, when we were on tour and we would go do a show and then UFC the next night, I will be genuine. 0.99

01:41:27.000 Like, watching you as a friend, watching what you would do, the way you would act, The day of the fight was very interesting to see from an inside-outside.

01:41:36.000 Like, I'm inside because we're friends, but I'm outside because I'm still a spectator and I'm watching the sport and loving it.

01:41:43.000 The excitement you had day of is similar to how it felt when we were doing shows.

01:41:47.000 Like, you were still...

01:41:49.000 It wasn't like a job.

01:41:50.000 It doesn't feel like a job, I guess, is what I'm trying to say.

01:41:53.000 No, it's not a job like I'm doing it because I need a check.

01:41:56.000 Because a lot of guys do, man.

01:41:57.000 Yeah, no, it's not. 0.90

01:41:57.000 A lot of guys, it's like, eh, I'm fucking going along with the thing. 0.90

01:42:00.000 No, I don't have to work there anymore if I don't want to. 0.99

01:42:02.000 No shit. 0.99

01:42:02.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:42:03.000 It's like, the idea is, uh, it's... 1.00

01:42:06.000 When I do it, like no bullshit, I realize that these fucking people have poured their life into this. 0.98

01:42:13.000 The last 6, 8, 12 weeks, whatever the camp's been, and then all their years of training, their whole life of training, that's their moment, man. 0.99

01:42:20.000 I want to honor it.

01:42:22.000 I want to make it more exciting for people at home.

01:42:25.000 Well, the respect is just heavy.

01:42:27.000 And it gained a respect for me because, look, before you, before we became friends, I liked the sport.

01:42:32.000 I just never knew enough about it or never really got into it.

01:42:35.000 I was like, no, I like it, but I didn't know much about it.

01:42:37.000 Well, you've seen it live, though. 0.99

01:42:39.000 Well, I've seen it behind your shoulder, which is fucking insane. 0.99

01:42:42.000 You know how many people are like, want to kill me for those seats? 1.00

01:42:45.000 I mean, they fucking slit my throat to be there. 1.00

01:42:46.000 I've seen it over your shoulder. 1.00

01:42:48.000 Listening to you call it right there behind, it's a special thing.

01:42:52.000 Did you ever see the video where there's a fight going on?

01:42:54.000 It was Nate Marquardt.

01:42:55.000 I forget who he's fighting, but he's fighting.

01:42:58.000 And in the middle of his fighting, when the camera turned to them...

01:43:01.000 Ari and Duncan, because they were behind me.

01:43:04.000 So they had the monitors.

01:43:06.000 So I have monitors, right?

01:43:07.000 And the monitors in front of me show them what's on television.

01:43:10.000 And they started making out.

01:43:12.000 So in the middle of it, look.

01:43:15.000 They started full on, full on making out, because they know they were on camera. 0.96

01:43:21.000 I fucking love Duncan so much. 0.93

01:43:23.000 That was the same sort of situation. 0.96

01:43:26.000 I think it's Brad Tavares.

01:43:28.000 Is that Brad Tavares?

01:43:29.000 Who's Brad fighting?

01:43:30.000 Is Nate Marquardt and Brad Tavares?

01:43:32.000 I think that's who it is.

01:43:33.000 I'm pretty sure it's Brad.

01:43:34.000 Wait, I wanted to ask you this.

01:43:35.000 In the Usman fight, when he's down and he keeps clipping him, do you think that should be stopped or that's okay?

01:43:43.000 The referee has to pull him off.

01:43:45.000 Because he clipped him a few more times.

01:43:47.000 It's super necessary.

01:43:49.000 For him to hit him a few more times.

01:43:50.000 It's super necessary.

01:43:51.000 I'm asking.

01:43:53.000 Look, here's my reasoning.

01:43:54.000 You don't know what I'm saying.

01:43:56.000 Super necessary is like when Masvidal knocked out Ben Askren, he hit him with a flying knee and he punched him a bunch of times on the ground and the reporters asked him, is it necessary for you to keep punching him like that?

01:44:08.000 He goes, oh, it's super necessary.

01:44:09.000 Right. 1.00

01:44:10.000 So, Masvidal, like, you reap what you sow, and he, to his credit, Masvidal is a fucking gangster. 0.99

01:44:18.000 To his credit, he got KO'd, and he said, I'm a big fan of that punch that knocked me out. 0.98

01:44:22.000 Yeah, that's huge.

01:44:23.000 He said that.

01:44:24.000 He said he was a big fan of Kamaru Usman landing the perfect punch and knocking him out for the first time in his career.

01:44:29.000 Also, when I interviewed him after the fight, which...

01:44:32.000 People are like, you said you weren't going to interview people after the fight.

01:44:35.000 I don't even know what's happening.

01:44:36.000 When I was in a trance, everything was so crazy, and you guys are right.

01:44:40.000 Yeah, I did say that I wasn't going to interview people after the fight, but guess what?

01:44:43.000 I'm glad I did, because whether it was Zhang Weili or whether it was Askren or rather Masvidal getting KO'd like that, Masvidal had the classiest response ever. 0.86

01:44:55.000 I've ever experienced with a guy, talked so much shit, hyped up a fight, did what he did, fought his heart out, got knocked the fuck out with one punch, and was all class. 0.98

01:45:04.000 All class. 0.99

01:45:05.000 But isn't that, do you feel like that's over the years?

01:45:07.000 Don't you feel like a lot of people have turned on that class thing of like, because the fighting is so respected now?

01:45:12.000 At the end, they do.

01:45:13.000 Isn't Cerrone like that?

01:45:14.000 Oh, for sure.

01:45:15.000 But that's my thing.

01:45:16.000 It's like some of the- It's both things.

01:45:17.000 Cerrone is like that before fights.

01:45:18.000 He likes to hug people before fights.

01:45:20.000 Donald just loves to fight.

01:45:21.000 He doesn't have to hate you to fight.

01:45:22.000 When we walked up and we said, hi, you introduced me to him. 0.98

01:45:25.000 We were in Atlanta or some shit.

01:45:26.000 I don't even remember.

01:45:27.000 And I was like, how are you feeling?

01:45:28.000 He's like, good, man.

01:45:29.000 This is the greatest thing I've ever done.

01:45:31.000 I was like, he was so happy, like smiling ear to ear.

01:45:33.000 He was so excited.

01:45:35.000 There was no nerves.

01:45:37.000 You can't fake being Donald Cerrone.

01:45:39.000 No.

01:45:39.000 You can't fake that.

01:45:40.000 He's a real ass motherfucker. 1.00

01:45:42.000 He's an American original. 1.00

01:45:42.000 Yeah, dude, he's a real motherfucker. 1.00

01:45:44.000 He's an American original. 1.00

01:45:45.000 He enjoys fighting, win or lose, and he's lost before.

01:45:49.000 He had a fight with Anthony Pettis, and it was a real close fight, and I kind of thought he should have got the nod, and a lot of people did too, but it was real close. 0.99

01:45:56.000 And afterwards, he's like, you know me, man, I fucking love this shit. 0.98

01:45:59.000 Like, he really did. 1.00

01:46:00.000 He loved it. 1.00

01:46:01.000 He goes back to the farm and just lives his fucking life. 1.00

01:46:03.000 He just loved it. 1.00

01:46:03.000 He had a great fight. 1.00

01:46:04.000 It was a great fight.

01:46:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:46:05.000 Real fucking... 1.00

01:46:07.000 But I guess what I'm saying is, like, back in the day, when there was all this criticism of UFC, when people didn't know what they were talking about, the idea was, oh, all these guys are just fucking animals. 0.99

01:46:16.000 Now the fighting is so respected. 0.97

01:46:19.000 There's so much respect. 0.99

01:46:21.000 I feel like every time I hear in interviews, 99% of the guys show love even when they get fucked up. 1.00

01:46:28.000 I rarely hear the asshole putting on the show afterwards. 1.00

01:46:33.000 It's rare. 0.99

01:46:34.000 There's two different things that go on.

01:46:36.000 Before the fight, sometimes there's a lot of trash talk.

01:46:39.000 Well, yeah, there's chirping.

01:46:40.000 That's to hype up the fight. 0.99

01:46:41.000 Sure.

01:46:41.000 And Conor McGregor is the greatest of all time.

01:46:44.000 100%.

01:46:44.000 There's no one better.

01:46:45.000 Conor McGregor.

01:46:45.000 Chael Sonnen is under-recognized.

01:46:48.000 He's number two, in my opinion.

01:46:50.000 Because Chael Sonnen, he would fight guys and you kind of didn't think he was going to win. 0.99

01:46:54.000 But you still were willing to, Anderson Silva, you absolutely suck! 0.99

01:47:01.000 And the whole audience goes, yeah! 0.99

01:47:03.000 He brought, Chael Sonnen brought legit, like, top of the food chain pro wrestling antics to real MMA fights, and he made a fuckload of money because of it.

01:47:13.000 And he hyped up some fights.

01:47:17.000 All due respect for Chael Sonnen.

01:47:19.000 All due respect. 0.97

01:47:20.000 I think he's a gangster.

01:47:21.000 He's talking about a man who submitted world champions like Shogun. 1.00

01:47:24.000 Chael Sonnen's a bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:47:26.000 He is a bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:47:28.000 And people who don't think he's a bad motherfucker, watch his fight with Nate Marquardt. 1.00

01:47:31.000 When Nate Marquardt was at the top of his game and Chael Sonnen ragdolled that dude in a wild, crazy, bloody brawl. 0.99

01:47:38.000 He got cut open. 1.00

01:47:39.000 Chael Sonnen is a bad motherfucker. 0.99

01:47:42.000 But very few people thought he was going to beat Jon Jones, including me. 1.00

01:47:47.000 I was like, okay, he talked a lot of shit. 1.00

01:47:49.000 Let's see how long this lasts. 1.00

01:47:51.000 Jon Jones is a bad man.

01:47:55.000 He's not just a bad man.

01:47:56.000 He's maybe the baddest man of all time. 1.00

01:47:58.000 He fucking would scare the shit out of me. 0.99

01:48:00.000 He's so good. 0.99

01:48:01.000 He's so good.

01:48:02.000 He's so good in every way.

01:48:03.000 He's not just so good physically in his ability to execute.

01:48:06.000 He's so good at his ability to assess where he's at in a fight.

01:48:09.000 And he's so good at turning on the gas in the last rounds.

01:48:11.000 The Dominic Reyes fight...

01:48:13.000 That was a tough fight for the first three rounds, because Dominic Reyes was teeing him up in the first three rounds. 0.53

01:48:19.000 Dominic was moving very well, and he rose to the occasion, but Jon Jones turned that fucking heat up in the fourth and fifth.

01:48:25.000 He did the same thing to Alexander Gustafson. 0.82

01:48:27.000 He finds a way to win.

01:48:28.000 No one's ever beaten him.

01:48:29.000 You've got to understand, the amount of opposition that guy's faced from the jump He went right into the UFC. I forget he fought a Brazilian gentleman.

01:48:37.000 I forget the guy's name.

01:48:38.000 Ragdolled that dude. 1.00

01:48:39.000 He fought Stefan Bonner, ragdolled him. 0.55

01:48:41.000 He made his way up the ladder, just smashing people.

01:48:46.000 Smashing people.

01:48:46.000 He has one loss, and that loss is not a real loss.

01:48:49.000 It was a disqualification, because he was smashing Matt Hamill, and they said that he did a 12-6 elbow.

01:48:55.000 And the referee is, like, openly criticized for that decision of stopping that fight there, because John was completely dominant in that fight, and they gave the decision to Matt Hamill.

01:49:03.000 So John smashed him, beat the fuck out of him, and lost his win money. 0.98

01:49:07.000 It's a dumb rule. 0.99

01:49:08.000 Like, if you can elbow someone like that, you should be able to elbow someone like that. 0.98

01:49:12.000 It's debatable.

01:49:13.000 You know, you can debate all kinds of things.

01:49:15.000 Look, in Pride, they didn't even allow elbows.

01:49:17.000 Pride thought that elbows cut people up, and it's too easy to land on the ground, so they only wanted punches on the ground.

01:49:21.000 Is there any truth to that?

01:49:23.000 No.

01:49:24.000 No. 0.92

01:49:24.000 Just like one FC, you can knee in the head on the ground. 0.92

01:49:27.000 But I'm saying, do elbows cut people up more?

01:49:28.000 Of course they cut people up.

01:49:29.000 It's a valid technique.

01:49:30.000 So does a shin. 0.77

01:49:31.000 If I kick someone in the face, it cuts their face up.

01:49:34.000 If you have to get rid of one, you have to get rid of all of them then, right?

01:49:36.000 Well, there's weird rules.

01:49:38.000 Because like, why are the most vulnerable weapons on your body covered?

01:49:42.000 Which is your hands.

01:49:44.000 Your hands are the most...

01:49:45.000 Like, look how much that moves.

01:49:47.000 Like, look at my hand.

01:49:48.000 Look at all that movement.

01:49:49.000 You don't want that in a weapon.

01:49:50.000 You want...

01:49:51.000 This.

01:49:52.000 You want a knee.

01:49:53.000 You want a shin.

01:49:55.000 You want an elbow.

01:49:57.000 I can do that with my elbow.

01:49:59.000 That doesn't bother me at all.

01:50:00.000 This doesn't bother me at all.

01:50:02.000 That would hurt my hand.

01:50:03.000 If I did that with my hand, that would hurt.

01:50:05.000 This is a vulnerable weapon.

01:50:07.000 So this is the only weapon we wrap and pad up. 1.00

01:50:10.000 But then you let someone kick someone in the fucking head. 1.00

01:50:13.000 It's so crazy. 1.00

01:50:16.000 The idea is it's harder to kick someone in the head. 0.95

01:50:19.000 And it is. 0.85

01:50:19.000 It is, right? 0.85

01:50:20.000 It's definitely harder to kick someone in the head than punch them. 0.99

01:50:21.000 Right. 0.98

01:50:22.000 But you get punched so much.

01:50:23.000 And in some ways, it's unrealistic.

01:50:26.000 Because it's too easy to just tee off on someone full blast with padded knuckles because it protects your hands.

01:50:33.000 Because if your hands are bare with no tape, no nothing, you can break them.

01:50:37.000 You can break...

01:50:37.000 If you've watched those bare knuckle fighting championships...

01:50:40.000 Oh, dude, it's so...

01:50:41.000 That's the fight!

01:50:42.000 It's just felony fights.

01:50:44.000 You want to watch it?

01:50:45.000 I'm not going to say no.

01:50:46.000 This is the one!

01:50:48.000 Watch it real quick.

01:50:49.000 Watch it real quick.

01:50:49.000 And then we'll go back to talking about...

01:50:51.000 Oh, this is more than one people at a time.

01:50:53.000 Yeah, it's 2v2.

01:50:55.000 Oh, that's crazy.

01:50:56.000 Look at this guy. 0.99

01:50:57.000 Kicking this guy in the head. 0.99

01:50:58.000 He runs over, fucks the other dude up. 1.00

01:51:01.000 Bam. 0.99

01:51:01.000 And he kicks that guy and kicks that guy. 0.99

01:51:03.000 Jesus! 0.74

01:51:05.000 Soccer kicks to the head like that, knees to the head like that, and stomps, that is like literally the worst thing you could ever do to a person.

01:51:11.000 I gotta be honest though, his form, the kick is great.

01:51:14.000 The Chicago Bears are looking for a new kicker.

01:51:16.000 Can we get this guy's number?

01:51:18.000 He's got great, great form. 1.00

01:51:20.000 He's talking shit even after he's fucked them all up. 1.00

01:51:22.000 He's talking shit, but he's not even helping his buddy. 1.00

01:51:23.000 His buddy's like, in the middle of... 1.00

01:51:25.000 Oh, okay.

01:51:26.000 The buddy's winning.

01:51:27.000 The buddy's winning.

01:51:28.000 Oh my god, this is awful.

01:51:30.000 The fact they did two on one, this is crazy. 1.00

01:51:33.000 Yeah, this is brutal shit. 1.00

01:51:34.000 But look, they won't kick him in the balls. 1.00

01:51:35.000 Respect. 0.99

01:51:35.000 He's tapping out, too, and he wouldn't let go. 0.99

01:51:37.000 Boom! 0.99

01:51:38.000 Bam, I don't know.

01:51:41.000 It's rough.

01:51:42.000 It's rough.

01:51:42.000 Not a fan.

01:51:43.000 Not a fan.

01:51:44.000 If you watch those bare-knuckle fighting championships, that's the newest thing.

01:51:47.000 They do pay-per-views.

01:51:48.000 You know what's the saddest thing?

01:51:49.000 Two of the hottest women that have ever fought in MMA are now fighting in bare-knuckle fighting championships. 1.00

01:51:54.000 Who is it?

01:51:54.000 Well, one was Paige Van Zandt.

01:51:56.000 Oh yeah, I know Paige Van Zandt. 1.00

01:51:58.000 Super hot, right? 1.00

01:52:00.000 And all due respect and shout out to her husband, Austin Vanderford, who's a bad motherfucker as well. 0.99

01:52:05.000 But, you know, he knows she's super hot. 0.99

01:52:07.000 She's gorgeous, yeah. 1.00

01:52:08.000 And then Rachel Ostevich.

01:52:10.000 I don't know who that is.

01:52:11.000 She just signed with...

01:52:11.000 She might be as hot as a human being can get.

01:52:14.000 Well, let's bring her up. 0.58

01:52:15.000 They just get different.

01:52:16.000 Right.

01:52:16.000 They don't get hotter.

01:52:17.000 They just get different.

01:52:18.000 You know what I mean?

01:52:18.000 There's a level of hot.

01:52:20.000 Yeah.

01:52:21.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:52:21.000 I know exactly what you fucking mean. 0.99

01:52:22.000 Well, this lady, she just signed with Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship and you're like, wow. 0.98

01:52:27.000 What's the money like?

01:52:28.000 It must be substantial.

01:52:29.000 It's gotta be, right?

01:52:29.000 Go with a picture of her.

01:52:31.000 Don't give me a picture of her out to fight. 0.79

01:52:33.000 Give me some booty pictures, son.

01:52:34.000 Go to her Instagram.

01:52:35.000 Okay. 1.00

01:52:35.000 Go to her fucking Instagram. 1.00

01:52:37.000 I know Van Zandt. 1.00

01:52:38.000 I've heard of her.

01:52:38.000 I don't know who this is.

01:52:39.000 She got cut from the UFC recently, but she's built like a fucking nuclear missile. 1.00

01:52:44.000 You're just like, Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:52:47.000 Good fighter, too.

01:52:48.000 Very good fighter.

01:52:48.000 Real good jiu-jitsu.

01:52:50.000 Real good...

01:52:51.000 Yeah.

01:52:52.000 See what I'm saying?

01:52:53.000 Oh yeah.

01:52:53.000 You don't get hotter.

01:52:54.000 You just get different.

01:52:56.000 There's levels.

01:53:00.000 Here's the thing with bare-knuckle fighting.

01:53:03.000 Ultimately, I'm 100% in support of all kinds of fighting.

01:53:05.000 Sure.

01:53:06.000 Like, I love Latwe, where David LaDuke has been on the podcast before.

01:53:10.000 He's like the champion of Latwe.

01:53:11.000 They use headbutts.

01:53:12.000 They can headbutt each other. 0.96

01:53:13.000 Bare-knuckle, he's such a beast. 1.00

01:53:15.000 Fucking insane! 1.00

01:53:15.000 Bro, this guy's such a beast. 1.00

01:53:16.000 LaDuke is such a beast.

01:53:18.000 That's Paige after a fight. 1.00

01:53:19.000 No, I like Paige. 0.94

01:53:20.000 I like Paige. 0.74

01:53:20.000 She's gorgeous. 0.74

01:53:21.000 Yeah.

01:53:21.000 By the way, I've been head-butted once in a fight, and that's the most painful head I've ever taken to my head was another head.

01:53:28.000 Heads are hard.

01:53:29.000 But here's the thing.

01:53:30.000 It's like these girls are getting substantial increases in their wages by going to bare-knuckle fights. 1.00

01:53:35.000 Because UFC just isn't enough for the women. 1.00

01:53:37.000 Well, here's the thing.

01:53:38.000 If you find out that one of the hottest girls that ever compete in MMA, Paige Van Zandt, is going to fight bare knuckle against some other very pretty girl, there's an added value to that. 1.00

01:53:48.000 And there's also an added value to the idea that they're boxing bare knuckle because it's so crazy and it's a new thing.

01:53:53.000 So there's novelty.

01:53:54.000 But there's a...

01:53:57.000 Chris Lieben fought...

01:53:59.000 What was the gentleman's name that he fought?

01:54:01.000 He fought this dude that broke his face open.

01:54:04.000 By the way, who's funding Bare Knuckle?

01:54:06.000 Like, who's the company behind it?

01:54:07.000 Who's got all this capital that started this?

01:54:09.000 I don't know, but I think they can only do it in Wyoming.

01:54:14.000 That's so funny!

01:54:17.000 I think they might be able to do it in a couple other states now, but for a while... 0.77

01:54:20.000 The population's so fucking low, they're like, look, we need some tourism. 0.86

01:54:24.000 Listen, Matt, these people barely, they just barely forgot fighting off the Indians. 1.00

01:54:28.000 Right.

01:54:29.000 That's like six months ago. 0.99

01:54:30.000 They barely forgot fighting off the Comanches in the fucking 1800s. 0.99

01:54:34.000 They're like, bringing them knuckles, baby. 0.99

01:54:35.000 Like, oh yeah, what do you want to do?

01:54:37.000 Bare knuckle, I guess.

01:54:38.000 I mean, the population is the lowest, I think, in the entire country.

01:54:42.000 It is, in Wyoming.

01:54:43.000 Yeah, it is.

01:54:43.000 And it's the most gorgeous.

01:54:44.000 It's beautiful country.

01:54:45.000 It's weird.

01:54:46.000 But I don't want to live up there.

01:54:48.000 But it's a beautiful country.

01:54:49.000 Some people figured it out, and they go to Jackson Hole.

01:54:51.000 All those rich folks.

01:54:52.000 Jackson Hole's great, but they don't live there.

01:54:55.000 But they figured out there's a spot.

01:54:57.000 Hey, let's all go together and buy some land. 1.00

01:54:59.000 No shit. 1.00

01:55:00.000 Fucking paradise that nobody goes to. 1.00

01:55:02.000 But they let him have the Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship. 1.00

01:55:04.000 Who the fuck was he fighting? 0.98

01:55:06.000 Chris Lieben, Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship. 0.99

01:55:08.000 He fought a dude who was on The Ultimate Fighter.

01:55:11.000 I forget his name. 0.99

01:55:12.000 Anyway, this dude was good, and he hits fucking hard. 0.98

01:55:15.000 And he broke Chris Lieben's face wide open where it looks like he got attacked by like a saw. 0.98

01:55:21.000 In a fist fight with a bandsaw.

01:55:23.000 Yeah, look at that fight. 1.00

01:55:24.000 Holy shit. 0.99

01:55:25.000 Look at the cuts in his face. 1.00

01:55:26.000 And I remember thinking that and going, Who did he fight?

01:55:30.000 You see what it says?

01:55:32.000 BFK, what is it?

01:55:33.000 Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship.

01:55:34.000 Six lost to Paulie Magellini.

01:55:37.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:55:38.000 It definitely wasn't him.

01:55:39.000 Because Chris is way bigger.

01:55:41.000 Paulie Malignaggi.

01:55:42.000 Cochran?

01:55:43.000 Yes, Dakota Cochran.

01:55:44.000 That's right.

01:55:44.000 Dakota Cochran.

01:55:45.000 And Dakota Cochran just caught him wide open.

01:55:48.000 He said it was the hardest he's ever been hit in his life.

01:55:50.000 And I saw these cuts and I was like...

01:55:53.000 Okay, that'll shorten a career.

01:55:55.000 And a lifespan.

01:55:57.000 Yeah, but the punches are already doing that, right?

01:56:00.000 The argument is, you can't punch as hard with bare knuckles, so maybe even you take in less trauma.

01:56:07.000 The argument of MMA versus boxing is actually that boxing, they can only punch, so they punch each other more in the head, and then there's no leg kicks, no takedowns, and so it's more impactful than...

01:56:21.000 Because it's constant.

01:56:23.000 That's the argument behind it.

01:56:26.000 I think I talked about this last time we were here, because we were talking about UFC and hockey.

01:56:32.000 There was this big argument that fights, they were going to get rid of fighting because it was causing Serious brain damage and brain injury when, in fact, this documentary I watched, it's been proven the biggest traumatic brain injury in the NHL is hits against the boards.

01:56:51.000 By far.

01:56:52.000 Not open ice.

01:56:53.000 Board checks, by far, caused the most brain smash.

01:56:56.000 You don't have to get hit in the head. 0.93

01:56:57.000 My friend, Dr. Mark Gordon, who is an expert in traumatic brain injury, and he's one of the people that runs Warrior Angel Foundation that helps a lot of soldiers and guys who are blowing up doors and shit like that. 0.92

01:57:10.000 And he's also worked with football players and now fighters.

01:57:14.000 He's like, dude, you can get brain damage.

01:57:16.000 He didn't say dude.

01:57:17.000 He speaks in more eloquent terms. 1.00

01:57:19.000 He's like, bro, your fucking brain can get clapped, dog. 1.00

01:57:21.000 Homie. 1.00

01:57:22.000 Homie, let me tell you something what happens when you get on a jet ski.

01:57:24.000 He's like, my G? He was talking about jet skis.

01:57:26.000 He's like, dude, jet skis.

01:57:28.000 He didn't say dude.

01:57:29.000 Jet skis. 0.99

01:57:32.000 When you're paraphrasing a fucking brilliant man, you're putting him into your own monkey dialect. 1.00

01:57:38.000 I'm putting him in my own dumb, dumb dialect. 1.00

01:57:40.000 He told me that you can get, literally, you can get, not even literally, you can get brain damage from jet skis, man. 0.99

01:57:47.000 How, dude?

01:57:48.000 Oh, the slamming on the ocean. 1.00

01:57:50.000 All that shit, when you're hitting those waves and bouncing that jet ski, that's rattling your cage, man. 1.00

01:57:55.000 It's not good. 1.00

01:57:55.000 Really? 1.00

01:57:56.000 Yep.

01:57:56.000 Guys get it from soccer, from heading the ball.

01:57:59.000 Right, I've heard this. 1.00

01:58:00.000 Which was my shit. 1.00

01:58:00.000 That was my shit when I was playing soccer. 1.00

01:58:02.000 I'd fucking headbutt that ball. 1.00

01:58:04.000 It's apparently super bad for kids, and as they get older, if they've been heading the ball in practice day after day after day, you know, fucking 250 days a year, they get brain damaged. 0.99

01:58:14.000 Well, this is the same thing with rugby versus the NFL, right? 0.89

01:58:16.000 The NFL, because of the pads, they say the better the pads have become, the harder the hits have become.

01:58:20.000 Yes.

01:58:21.000 They have more protection.

01:58:22.000 Yes.

01:58:22.000 I can go full...

01:58:23.000 Dude, now they're like, oh, I'm free to just murder you. 0.99

01:58:27.000 That was my argument about gloves.

01:58:29.000 That you should be able to not have gloves because it'll give you a more realistic sense of what you can do with your hands. 0.95

01:58:35.000 Because there's some guys that have just like fucking brutally strong hands and they don't care and they can punch things like they don't... 0.70

01:58:40.000 My friend Mike, I was buddies with a guy who was a pro boxer, Mike Blythe. 0.98

01:58:44.000 Shout out to Mike Blythe from South Boston.

01:58:47.000 And Mike would practice on a heavy bag, a hard heavy bag, bare knuckle. 1.00

01:58:52.000 Fuck off. 1.00

01:58:53.000 He did. 1.00

01:58:53.000 He was a bouncer at the Ratskeller. 1.00

01:58:55.000 Let me tell you something. 0.93

01:58:56.000 This dude, he looked like the biggest nerd.

01:58:59.000 Like he would wear glasses.

01:59:00.000 And I don't even know if they were real glasses. 0.99

01:59:02.000 I think he might have wore glasses so people would fuck with him more. 0.97

01:59:04.000 And he would wear like a shirt. 1.00

01:59:06.000 He was so sick. 1.00

01:59:07.000 He's like, come fucking fight me, bro. 0.99

01:59:08.000 And he would wear his shirt, like a polo shirt button up to the top. 1.00

01:59:12.000 He looked like such a dork. 0.89

01:59:13.000 And he wasn't like a scary guy physically. 0.99

01:59:16.000 But he looked strong. 0.99

01:59:17.000 He didn't look like a weakling, so he would dork himself up so that guys would fuck with him and he would flatline guys in clubs. 1.00

01:59:25.000 He was so mean. 0.99

01:59:27.000 But he was really brilliant, too.

01:59:28.000 He was an interesting guy.

01:59:29.000 He was an interesting guy to work out with and train with because he was really well-read, really smart guy.

01:59:34.000 He eventually went on to become a teacher.

01:59:36.000 I forget he was teaching at a college or a high school.

01:59:39.000 I don't remember. 0.60

01:59:40.000 But he was literally a brilliant guy who wrote a lot of stuff, too, but also fucking people up. 0.99

01:59:45.000 He had some fucking hands. 0.99

01:59:46.000 Oh, he had some hands. 1.00

01:59:47.000 He was a pro boxer.

01:59:48.000 He fought professionally.

01:59:49.000 You're against the gloves, right?

01:59:51.000 I'm not against the gloves.

01:59:52.000 I'm not.

01:59:53.000 I think they need to be better.

01:59:54.000 I think Trevor Whitman made the best gloves for MMA. These Onyx gloves.

02:00:00.000 We showed them on the podcast before.

02:00:01.000 But Trevor figured out the very best gloves.

02:00:03.000 And I think they'll protect your hands a little bit more.

02:00:05.000 And I think the way they're formed, it's better because I think it discourages instead of encourages eye pokes.

02:00:13.000 But I just think that it's unrealistic to pad one thing.

02:00:18.000 It seems inconsistent.

02:00:19.000 Like, why aren't you padding the shins? 0.91

02:00:21.000 Why aren't you padding the knees?

02:00:22.000 Why aren't you padding the elbows?

02:00:23.000 You're only padding the gloves?

02:00:24.000 Who does pad the shins? 1.00

02:00:25.000 That's in...

02:00:26.000 This amateur, amateur kickboxing.

02:00:28.000 Kickboxing will do it, right?

02:00:29.000 Yeah.

02:00:30.000 In Taekwondo, we used to wear shin pads.

02:00:32.000 But is that for you or for them?

02:00:34.000 Is there a duality there?

02:00:36.000 No.

02:00:37.000 In Taekwondo, I can say with most certainty, it was really to protect you.

02:00:42.000 Because me being like the person who's kicking.

02:00:44.000 Correct.

02:00:45.000 Because we didn't kick with the shin. 0.99

02:00:46.000 So the worry was, and it happened all the time, that you would kick someone and you would catch an elbow or you'd catch a knee on your shin and it would fuck your shins up. 0.99

02:00:53.000 For sure. 0.98

02:00:54.000 Yeah, or you would clash, like sometimes you would clash, like from my friend Dimitri, he was way bigger than me, he was a heavyweight, and I was, uh, at the time I was fighting like 154, and he was a, just a guerrilla, big fucking Russian dude.

02:01:08.000 You were 154?

02:01:10.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:01:11.000 How long ago was that?

02:01:12.000 I was a kid.

02:01:13.000 Yeah.

02:01:14.000 I was 17. Okay.

02:01:15.000 18. I was going to say, I was like, not in your 20s.

02:01:17.000 No, I fought at 140 my first year.

02:01:20.000 I won the state championship at 140, and I barely made 140. I was so drained.

02:01:26.000 I was so drained.

02:01:27.000 I didn't know what I was doing.

02:01:29.000 I remember I called my friend Jimmy Lawless.

02:01:33.000 That's a real name.

02:01:34.000 I called him up. 1.00

02:01:34.000 Awesome fucking name. 1.00

02:01:35.000 Because I was going to the tournament the next day, and I had finally made the weight, and I called him up fucking screaming, I'm going to fuck everybody I was like so pumped up and then I was so tired the next day because I actually had to weigh in at 140. So I lost all this weight. 0.99

02:01:48.000 I got really worked up and pumped up and I didn't drink any water because I was really like 154 or something like that or 150 and I lost weight to get down there.

02:01:56.000 I did it in a terrible way.

02:01:57.000 What'd you do? 0.99

02:01:58.000 I just fucking like shadow box in the hot shower. 0.98

02:02:01.000 I got in a hot shower and I shadow boxed and I just wore like a bunch of different layers of clothes and I just kept weighing myself until the night before until I shed all the water to make weight. 0.99

02:02:12.000 Wow. 1.00

02:02:13.000 So dumb. 0.99

02:02:14.000 But then I went up to 154 and that's when I was way better at 154 than I ever was at 140. Anyway, me and this dude we sparred and we kicked at the same time and I broke my fibula. 0.98

02:02:26.000 So it's like there's a tibia which is the big bone on the shin and his heel Slammed into my little bone, and it cracked it.

02:02:34.000 And I remember, I was like, oh, this is a different thing.

02:02:38.000 I thought it was just a bruise, and I was like, oh.

02:02:41.000 Because I had one bone that was good, and one bone that was cracked.

02:02:44.000 There was something wrong with it. 0.97

02:02:46.000 I mean, dude, leg stuff to me, like that fucking leg injury was just... 0.99

02:02:50.000 It's horrible. 0.99

02:02:51.000 Oh, bro.

02:02:51.000 I've never had that happen.

02:02:52.000 It made me nauseous.

02:02:53.000 But I've seen that three times now.

02:02:55.000 Saw it with Corey Hill way back in the day.

02:02:57.000 I saw it with Anderson against Chris Weidman and then Chris Weidman.

02:03:00.000 The fact that Chris is involved in two of the three ever leg breaks like that in the history of the sport is really crazy.

02:03:07.000 Dude, just watching it made me sick.

02:03:10.000 And then any kind of replay, I was like, oh, I don't know why it's nauseating.

02:03:12.000 Here's another crazy statistic.

02:03:14.000 Frank Mir is responsible for the only two legitimate arm breaks that I've ever seen.

02:03:20.000 Like clean breaks.

02:03:23.000 And he did it to two world champions.

02:03:24.000 This is how badass Frank Mir is.

02:03:26.000 Frank Mir broke Tim Sylvia's arm, who is like an all-time great heavyweight champion, and he broke Minotauro's arm.

02:03:34.000 Minotauro Noguera, who's a pride champion, UFC champion, like literally one of the legends of the game.

02:03:40.000 He broke both those guys' arms.

02:03:42.000 Snapped them.

02:03:43.000 Snap the bone. 0.98

02:03:44.000 You hear the bone crack?

02:03:46.000 Like Minotaro, he got him in a Kimura and it cracked his arm.

02:03:48.000 He's sitting there like after he tapped.

02:03:49.000 He's like looking over at his arm. 1.00

02:03:51.000 It's like, fuck! 1.00

02:03:52.000 Calling him the trainer. 1.00

02:03:53.000 It was his upper arm.

02:03:55.000 He snapped his upper arm.

02:03:56.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

02:03:57.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:03:57.000 He got him in a Kimura and Minotaro didn't tap and he just snapped. 1.00

02:04:02.000 You heard the thing crack and you saw it shift and pop over when you knew it was broken.

02:04:07.000 And he did the same thing to Tim Sylvia.

02:04:08.000 He snapped his forearm.

02:04:09.000 He got him in an R bar and you see his forearm snap.

02:04:13.000 Watch this.

02:04:17.000 Minotauro's on the bottom.

02:04:18.000 He's trying to tap Frank Muir there, and then they scramble out, and Frank catches him in a Kimura.

02:04:26.000 See that arm that he's got right there?

02:04:28.000 He's tying that thing up right there.

02:04:30.000 Right now Minotauro's in deep trouble.

02:04:32.000 Frank trapped him.

02:04:33.000 Now he's got side control.

02:04:35.000 Now he gets to the position.

02:04:36.000 Watch this! 0.91

02:04:38.000 Watch when he's trying to fight it off, but watch when he gets to this position.

02:04:42.000 He rolls him over twice.

02:04:44.000 Watch this, though.

02:04:45.000 Watch this.

02:04:45.000 Here it comes.

02:04:46.000 Watch this.

02:04:48.000 Pop! 0.87

02:04:48.000 You see that? 0.87

02:04:49.000 Ow! 1.00

02:04:51.000 Fuck! 1.00

02:04:53.000 Look how he's lying there. 1.00

02:04:55.000 Yeah, dude.

02:04:55.000 I'm sorry.

02:04:56.000 I broke your boy's arm.

02:04:57.000 One more time.

02:04:58.000 Watch this.

02:04:58.000 Here again.

02:04:59.000 He rolls him over.

02:05:00.000 Watch when he... 1.00

02:05:01.000 I mean, this is nasty shit here. 0.99

02:05:02.000 Watch this right here. 1.00

02:05:03.000 Boom.

02:05:04.000 So he taps.

02:05:05.000 And look at his arm.

02:05:07.000 Look how he looks at his arm. 1.00

02:05:08.000 He's like, fuck! 1.00

02:05:09.000 Well, I guess that's that. 1.00

02:05:10.000 That's my fucking arm now. 0.99

02:05:11.000 I saw that. 1.00

02:05:13.000 It's like looking at another person's arm.

02:05:15.000 That's how good Frank Mir was. 1.00

02:05:17.000 Fuck! 0.99

02:05:17.000 People, I mean, you talk about a dude who's a pioneer, tapped Brock Lesnar with a fucking leg lock, the first time Brock ever fought in the UFC. Remember that? 0.99

02:05:26.000 The first time. 0.99

02:05:27.000 He fought Heath Haring, and then he fought Frank Mir, and Frank Mir caught him in a fucking leg lock. 0.95

02:05:32.000 He was fighting, you know, Frank, and I think Frank was the champ at that point in time. 0.89

02:05:36.000 Where's Mir now?

02:05:37.000 He just fought in Triller. 1.00

02:05:39.000 Oh, he's doing trail of shit. 0.99

02:05:41.000 Yeah, he fought a boxing match against Steve Anderson, I believe is the gentleman. 1.00

02:05:47.000 He fought, who's the only guy besides Deontay Wilder to ever knock down Tyson Fury.

02:05:54.000 He caught Tyson Fury with a bomb and dropped him and Tyson got up and beat him.

02:05:59.000 But Steve Cunningham, right?

02:06:02.000 Is that who it is?

02:06:05.000 I think that's his name.

02:06:06.000 And he just fought Frank Mir.

02:06:07.000 Frank Mir just went six rounds with him in a boxing match.

02:06:10.000 So is this Triller thing going to have any legs? 0.99

02:06:12.000 Well, they got Teofimo Lopez.

02:06:14.000 And Teofimo Lopez is one of the best boxers on planet Earth right now.

02:06:18.000 And he's fighting a legitimate boxing match with them.

02:06:20.000 And they said this one's going to be a different card.

02:06:22.000 They're going to have this like a real boxing card.

02:06:25.000 Right.

02:06:26.000 And that's what I read online, and they said that people, like hardcore boxing fans, this fight is for them.

02:06:31.000 And they're kind of acknowledging that the Jake Paul thing was like a big entertainment thing. 0.99

02:06:35.000 There's a lot of shit going on. 0.99

02:06:36.000 Money. 1.00

02:06:37.000 You know, but it was also like, here it is. 1.00

02:06:39.000 Yeah, they want a real shit. 1.00

02:06:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:06:40.000 Yeah, George Kambosos Jr. He's from Australia. 1.00

02:06:45.000 That's a big fight.

02:06:46.000 And so they're doing that.

02:06:48.000 They're going to have like a real undercard.

02:06:50.000 So they're trying.

02:06:51.000 They're doing it.

02:06:52.000 It's real.

02:06:52.000 It's the undercard.

02:06:53.000 Yeah, it's real.

02:06:54.000 I mean...

02:06:55.000 You know what I mean by that, though.

02:06:56.000 Like, it's gonna have legs.

02:06:57.000 This is gonna...

02:06:57.000 This isn't gonna...

02:06:58.000 This is gonna burn...

02:06:58.000 It's not gonna burn out.

02:06:59.000 I don't know these people.

02:07:00.000 Yeah, maybe.

02:07:01.000 I really don't know these people.

02:07:02.000 I wonder who funds it.

02:07:02.000 That's why I said, do you know who funds it?

02:07:03.000 Can you look up who funds Triller?

02:07:04.000 We don't need to put that on the podcast.

02:07:06.000 But listen, I've been around dozens of these things, from Elite XC to Affliction to all of them.

02:07:12.000 I've seen them come and go.

02:07:15.000 It's a hard gig, man.

02:07:17.000 Also, it's like Q-tips.

02:07:19.000 UFC is Q-tips. 0.99

02:07:21.000 You don't go to the fucking store and buy cotton swabs. 0.99

02:07:23.000 You buy Q-tips. 1.00

02:07:25.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:07:26.000 You're going to buy tissue paper or you're going to buy Kleenex.

02:07:28.000 You're going to watch football or you're going to watch the NFL. You're going to watch MMA or you're going to watch the fucking UFC. You're going to watch the UFC. Especially when they put on a product like they did this last weekend when Usman knocks Masvidal out with one punch like that. 0.99

02:07:41.000 You're like, okay.

02:07:42.000 They have the best.

02:07:43.000 It's the best.

02:07:43.000 They have the best.

02:07:44.000 Yeah, it's the best.

02:07:44.000 Yeah, it's undisputed.

02:07:45.000 It's the best.

02:07:46.000 By the way, Jamie will appreciate the fuck out of this.

02:07:49.000 Somebody put up the anniversary of Slam Ball.

02:07:51.000 Oh, yeah.

02:07:52.000 Did you watch that? 1.00

02:07:52.000 Oh, I remember that shit. 1.00

02:07:53.000 Did you watch that shit? 1.00

02:07:54.000 They're fighting to try to get it back. 1.00

02:07:56.000 All over the internet, people are begging to bring this shit back. 1.00

02:07:58.000 Wait a minute, is that the one with the trampolines? 1.00

02:08:00.000 Yeah, dude, it's the fucking best! 0.99

02:08:02.000 They should bring that back! 0.97

02:08:03.000 They're trying right now.

02:08:05.000 Why not?

02:08:05.000 By the way, I would love to see that live.

02:08:07.000 I would love to see that live. 0.84

02:08:08.000 What if some crazy Chinese billionaire came along? 0.99

02:08:11.000 That's who we need! 1.00

02:08:13.000 Some wild person comes along and says- Crazy Chinese billionaire is right. 1.00

02:08:18.000 Alright, how about Russian? 0.97

02:08:19.000 Sure.

02:08:19.000 A conglomeration, an LLC. And they get together.

02:08:23.000 And they decide to pay all the NBA players way more to play in this.

02:08:30.000 LeBron makes a billion dollars a year.

02:08:32.000 A lot of the WNBA players would make a lot more. 1.00

02:08:34.000 I don't know if this is still happening in Europe.

02:08:35.000 They should dress like volleyball players.

02:08:37.000 They do.

02:08:37.000 They still make more.

02:08:38.000 Are you kidding me?

02:08:39.000 Here's the thing.

02:08:40.000 For a guy, for male basketball players, Going to Europe or going overseas is still a good venture if the NBA isn't doing what you need it to do for you.

02:08:51.000 But for the women, they can make so much more money over there than they can over here. 1.00

02:08:55.000 By far.

02:08:56.000 The WNBA... They don't make much money. 1.00

02:08:58.000 Well, they can't.

02:08:59.000 I think the top lady makes like a quarter. 1.00

02:09:01.000 Quarter million.

02:09:01.000 I think it's in the neighborhood of that.

02:09:06.000 Candace Parker, who went to my sister high school, she is the biggest. 1.00

02:09:11.000 She just returned to Los Angeles.

02:09:12.000 It's a huge deal.

02:09:14.000 She's one of the biggest names.

02:09:15.000 She's nowhere near what she should be getting paid to be the biggest name of that sport. 1.00

02:09:20.000 But when you say what she should be getting paid, isn't it based on how many people watch?

02:09:24.000 Of course it's based on the revenue.

02:09:25.000 Yeah.

02:09:25.000 You mean just in the, like, if the universe was fair, as good as she is?

02:09:29.000 No, I'm just saying, in the vacuum world of, like, the best of anything, usually, is like, you know what I mean?

02:09:33.000 Have you ever met the best bowler?

02:09:35.000 Yes, I have.

02:09:35.000 They make, like, 50 grand a year.

02:09:37.000 Good money. 1.00

02:09:37.000 No, they make good fucking money. 1.00

02:09:39.000 I don't know about that. 0.99

02:09:39.000 Don't disrespect my bowling. 0.99

02:09:41.000 Don't disrespect the PBA. One of Ari Saphir's buddies, Tommy, was a professional bowler.

02:09:45.000 Yeah.

02:09:45.000 And we all got high with that guy, and we ate dinner, and he told us everything.

02:09:48.000 And he was like, can you guys...

02:09:49.000 I was like, it's not, there's no money in bowling.

02:09:50.000 He's like, Joe, can you pay...

02:09:51.000 He wasn't making any money bowling.

02:09:53.000 Can I tell you?

02:09:53.000 He's a world-class bowler.

02:09:55.000 I watch bowling.

02:09:56.000 So I know some of these guys.

02:09:57.000 I watch them.

02:09:58.000 And they make good money.

02:09:59.000 If you win, it's like golf.

02:10:01.000 Golf is the same thing.

02:10:02.000 No, it's not like golf.

02:10:03.000 Golf, you make millions of dollars.

02:10:04.000 If you win. 0.99

02:10:05.000 Yeah, but there's a lot of guys that do well in golf that make really good money that you don't even know who the fuck they are. 0.99

02:10:10.000 Sure. 0.99

02:10:11.000 Okay, sure.

02:10:11.000 You're right.

02:10:12.000 It's not the same comparison, but I'm saying if you win, you're making bank.

02:10:15.000 And if you're not, you're doing okay.

02:10:17.000 You're doing fine.

02:10:17.000 Okay, let me compare it to something I actually know about.

02:10:20.000 Here we go.

02:10:21.000 Professional pool.

02:10:21.000 No money in that.

02:10:22.000 There's no money in that.

02:10:23.000 If you're winning...

02:10:24.000 The best guys, like a Shane Van Boning, he probably makes a quarter million dollars a year.

02:10:28.000 That's good money.

02:10:28.000 The best guys, yes.

02:10:29.000 That's good money.

02:10:29.000 But there's like two or three of him in the world.

02:10:32.000 It's so hard for guys to make money.

02:10:34.000 Golf, there's more numbers, but I will say, there's a lot of, because of what you know, I know, this is beautiful.

02:10:40.000 This is the story of this guy.

02:10:40.000 Yeah, Michael Viasa.

02:10:41.000 He just qualified for this weekend's tournament.

02:10:44.000 I guess it'll be his first ever PGA tournament.

02:10:46.000 He's driving like a 140,000 mile Camry to get there.

02:10:50.000 Yeah.

02:10:51.000 That was his calling his father, his dad.

02:10:54.000 Look at him crying.

02:10:55.000 Look at him, he made it.

02:10:56.000 Oh, look at that shot. 0.67

02:10:57.000 He's got a $6.9 million purse.

02:11:00.000 He has the opportunity to maybe win, but whether or not he does, we'll see.

02:11:04.000 Well, he's in.

02:11:05.000 Yeah, but you need to explain to Joe the difference of that.

02:11:08.000 A $6.9 million purse of Valspar, first of all, it's divvied up by the top 50 to 100, depending on each tournament.

02:11:16.000 So the top guy will make a couple million, and then as you go down, it exponentially goes lower and lower.

02:11:22.000 The last place who makes the final cut, the final day, which is the fourth day, you have to make it to the third cut, he probably makes 50 Gs, maybe?

02:11:31.000 I mean, it depends on the tournament. 0.94

02:11:32.000 So what I'm saying is, even to get to there is a fucking impossibility. 0.60

02:11:37.000 Yeah, but if you're a guy who can get to there multiple times a year, you're making a good living and no one knows who you are. 0.93

02:11:42.000 It doesn't happen often.

02:11:43.000 It doesn't.

02:11:43.000 How many guys are there that make that 50G up to the top?

02:11:46.000 The Sissy's only made money once. 1.00

02:11:49.000 Whoa.

02:11:49.000 This guy.

02:11:50.000 That one guy.

02:11:50.000 One time.

02:11:51.000 Yeah.

02:11:51.000 And let me tell you something about that guy.

02:11:52.000 Because I lived in Scottsdale when I was at Arizona State.

02:11:54.000 I met a fuckload of these guys that were trying to get their tour card.

02:11:56.000 Because all of them live in Arizona.

02:11:58.000 They train out there.

02:11:59.000 And there's so many of these guys.

02:12:02.000 To go from...

02:12:03.000 This is kind of nonsense, but...

02:12:06.000 To go from a scratch golfer who shoots par to go to somebody that shoots two under, three under, four under, five under, six under consistently, it's so fucking hard to do that week after week after week after week that that's why these guys, like him, this kid who's a brilliant story, they come and they go and they come and they go.

02:12:21.000 It's just so hard to even get in, let alone be top 50, let alone be top 25. Top 10 is absurdist.

02:12:28.000 It just doesn't make sense.

02:12:30.000 Right, you compete.

02:12:30.000 They're beating against so many people, and they're all so good.

02:12:33.000 It's insane.

02:12:33.000 They get coaching, they've been doing it since they were kids.

02:12:35.000 Yeah, it's insane.

02:12:37.000 The competition level once you get past the cut line is, it's absurd. 0.97

02:12:42.000 Like, these guys were coming to play Riviera in Los Angeles, and I played at this golf course with Pat Perez, who's a fucking Greek golfer. 0.98

02:12:48.000 Riviera the casino? 0.98

02:12:49.000 No, Riviera the golf course in Brentwood.

02:12:51.000 Those are golf courses, the country club out there.

02:12:52.000 Oh, you said Los Angeles.

02:12:53.000 Yeah, at LA. I thought you said Las Vegas.

02:12:55.000 No, these guys, before they play Riv, they come and play a bunch of different courses.

02:12:57.000 And I played with Pat Perez, this pro was there, Bubba Watson was there.

02:13:01.000 And I'm not...

02:13:02.000 Just like anything that you experience, when you see the best of the best, it's like almost scary.

02:13:08.000 You're like, are you an alien?

02:13:10.000 Right.

02:13:10.000 Are you not one of us?

02:13:11.000 Right.

02:13:12.000 Because it's freaky.

02:13:13.000 Yeah.

02:13:13.000 Like it's almost...

02:13:14.000 It almost seems... 0.98

02:13:16.000 Like I'm in a fucking simulation and I'm like, where's the guy that's controlling this? 0.96

02:13:20.000 Yeah, they're so far beyond what you're physically capable of. 0.99

02:13:24.000 It's creepy.

02:13:24.000 It creams like magic.

02:13:25.000 Yeah, but like Bubba Watson, not a big guy.

02:13:27.000 Not a big heavy guy.

02:13:29.000 Not a tall guy or like a muscly guy. 1.00

02:13:32.000 This dude, as a joke, on the first tee, he hits the ball. 0.56

02:13:35.000 He's like, he's being a smartass.

02:13:37.000 He goes, does this go a little bit to the left? 1.00

02:13:38.000 And they're all laughing because he's just being a fucking smartass. 0.99

02:13:41.000 And he goes, I think I'll just play it. 1.00

02:13:42.000 Yeah, I'll play it like that. 0.67

02:13:44.000 This dude, he hits the ball so clean and so fucking far, it's almost like...

02:13:50.000 Is this a computer that I watched? 0.99

02:13:52.000 Did I just watch a fucking video game? 1.00

02:13:54.000 Talk shit and then do the thing? 1.00

02:13:56.000 It was like when they say Jordan would call shit out. 1.00

02:13:58.000 He would call shit out. 1.00

02:13:59.000 He'd be crossing someone up and then just be like, I'm gonna hit it from 18 feet and then take him to 18 feet and hit it in their fucking face. 1.00

02:14:06.000 Like a computer made him do it as if it's pre-programmed. 0.99

02:14:09.000 There's people that just hit levels where you just go, oh, I didn't even know that was possible.

02:14:13.000 It's scary to watch.

02:14:15.000 There was this...

02:14:16.000 Slight, very slight.

02:14:18.000 He wasn't a big muscular person.

02:14:19.000 A Filipino guy in the 1990s.

02:14:23.000 He's still playing.

02:14:24.000 He's still like an elite player.

02:14:25.000 His name is Francisco Bustamante.

02:14:27.000 Filipino pool player.

02:14:29.000 But he was known for his break. 1.00

02:14:30.000 And it's the most ridiculous break you've ever seen in your fucking life. 1.00

02:14:33.000 I see it. 0.99

02:14:34.000 And he's not a big guy.

02:14:35.000 He's like 150 pounds at the most.

02:14:37.000 And the cue would come out of his fingers, out of his bridge hand, and all the way back.

02:14:43.000 It would come out.

02:14:44.000 And he would break, and it would be so hard.

02:14:47.000 Now, this is him.

02:14:49.000 This looks like it's probably him even later in life.

02:14:52.000 That's in 09. Watch how hard this guy breaks, because it's so ridiculous. 0.93

02:14:55.000 It's crazy. 1.00

02:15:02.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00

02:15:03.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00

02:15:04.000 That cue ball went flying off the table on that one. 1.00

02:15:06.000 He's very upset.

02:15:07.000 But the amount of force he can generate, find him one where he doesn't do that.

02:15:11.000 Hey, by the way, when the cue comes off, because you know I'm dumb about a lot of stuff, is that you're out? 1.00

02:15:15.000 You're fucked? 0.99

02:15:15.000 Yeah, yeah, he's scratched. 0.99

02:15:17.000 Yeah.

02:15:17.000 Oh, this is an analysis of his cue.

02:15:19.000 Look how it comes out of his fingers.

02:15:21.000 How does it do that? 1.00

02:15:22.000 How do you fucking... 0.99

02:15:23.000 He just has amazing control. 0.99

02:15:25.000 And then when he drives in, look how loose his hand is.

02:15:27.000 But also, look at all of his body weight goes behind it.

02:15:30.000 Yeah.

02:15:32.000 That's a light break for him, too.

02:15:34.000 That's not a hard break.

02:15:35.000 But he's like universally...

02:15:37.000 Here's a good example.

02:15:38.000 He's universally regarded as one of the greatest breakers of all time.

02:15:41.000 This is when he's older, too.

02:15:43.000 This is... 1.00

02:15:44.000 Holy fucking shit. 1.00

02:15:46.000 So crazy! 1.00

02:15:47.000 Those balls go flying! 0.96

02:15:48.000 Four.

02:15:49.000 Four. 0.65

02:15:49.000 He dropped four balls. 0.65

02:15:50.000 It's regular. 0.61

02:15:51.000 Regular for him.

02:15:52.000 To drop four off a break like that.

02:15:53.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.98

02:15:54.000 In the day, people would stop what they're doing to watch Francisco Bustamante just break the balls. 0.99

02:15:59.000 Before the fucking internet, by the way, this guy was just like a tail. 0.99

02:16:03.000 You know what I mean? 0.98

02:16:03.000 When someone's like, no, he come, he break four, he drop four, and everyone's like... 0.98

02:16:06.000 I would tell you about him.

02:16:06.000 There's a guy I met once, man.

02:16:08.000 Right, right.

02:16:10.000 I saw him play live multiple times.

02:16:12.000 In my old studio in LA, I have a signed photograph of a tournament that he won when he won the bicycle club.

02:16:19.000 I think it was in 93. This is just a mechanics breakdown of him playing.

02:16:25.000 But there's a group of elite players that came out of the Philippines.

02:16:31.000 The Philippines is probably... 0.99

02:16:33.000 If you want to look at one country that had the biggest influence on pool outside the United States, I think you'd universally go to the Philippines.

02:16:40.000 Why?

02:16:41.000 Something happened.

02:16:42.000 I think the story is that the GIs that went over to the Philippines in the 1950s, like post-World War II, introduced pool to them.

02:16:51.000 And they brought over pool tables, they set up pool tables, and they taught these people how to gamble.

02:16:55.000 And these guys would go over and get drunk, and they'd gamble, and they'd play pool.

02:16:59.000 They set up these pool tables in these bad conditions, right?

02:17:03.000 So it's real moist over there.

02:17:04.000 Right.

02:17:05.000 And so when a moist table, what happens with a moist table, because it's very humid, it slows the ball down.

02:17:11.000 Of course.

02:17:11.000 So these guys developed a better stroke.

02:17:13.000 They developed a more relaxed stroke, and a lot of them used heavier cues, and the idea was to move the ball around the table Effortlessly.

02:17:21.000 Not with muscle like a lot of Americans did it, but they would use the weight of the cue.

02:17:26.000 Almost like they were throwing the cue into the ball with this crazy technique.

02:17:30.000 And then they came over to America and started gambling. 0.98

02:17:32.000 And the first guy was Evan Reyes.

02:17:34.000 And he came under a pseudonym.

02:17:36.000 I think...

02:17:38.000 God, I want to remember the name of it.

02:17:40.000 But it's like some Mexican name.

02:17:42.000 He came over under a fake name.

02:17:44.000 Right.

02:17:45.000 Because he didn't want people to give up his speed.

02:17:49.000 His speed is like his ability.

02:17:50.000 Like, how funny is that guy?

02:17:51.000 Oh, dude, he's a headliner.

02:17:53.000 How good is that guy a player? 1.00

02:17:55.000 Oh, he's a fucking A player. 0.99

02:17:57.000 What's his speed? 1.00

02:17:58.000 Like, what's he like?

02:18:00.000 Cesar Morales, that's right.

02:18:02.000 Cesar Morales.

02:18:03.000 So he came over, what year was that?

02:18:05.000 94. 94 it said, yeah.

02:18:06.000 That was 94 when he came over here?

02:18:08.000 No.

02:18:08.000 That's when he became known as the U.S. As Efren Reyes.

02:18:13.000 No, that's when, no, he was over here in the 80s.

02:18:15.000 So the start of his career.

02:18:16.000 Yeah, it doesn't have a year for that.

02:18:18.000 Well, he came over at Cesar Morales, and he gambled a lot of people, like big-name professional people in America, and that was what Poole really—Poole, the name Poole—pock or billiards is the game.

02:18:30.000 Poole is a term for pooling up your money to gamble.

02:18:33.000 That's what I know it is.

02:18:34.000 That's what it's all about.

02:18:35.000 Poole's all about gambling.

02:18:36.000 So when he came over from the Philippines, they came over with a bunch of rich financial backers from the Philippines to gamble money because they knew how good he was.

02:18:44.000 And he was lighting them up.

02:18:46.000 Dude, he changed the game.

02:18:48.000 He changed everything about it.

02:18:49.000 He was so good.

02:18:50.000 They call him the magician.

02:18:51.000 Because to this day, he's probably the most famous and most beloved pool player of all time in the world.

02:18:57.000 And widely recognized as the greatest.

02:19:00.000 And there were so many of them that came out of the Philippines.

02:19:02.000 But Bustamante had the best break.

02:19:04.000 Do you think the sport will not last now?

02:19:07.000 Pool?

02:19:07.000 I mean, in the public forum of that.

02:19:09.000 Can you be a pro?

02:19:11.000 You can still be a pro.

02:19:12.000 A lot of those pros gamble.

02:19:14.000 A lot of them gamble. 0.98

02:19:15.000 A lot of them have rich financial backers, like some guy who owns a fucking insurance company, loves the game, comes in and gambles money, and they work out a deal. 0.96

02:19:23.000 Like, if we win, I give you X amount percentage. 0.97

02:19:25.000 But think about it generationally.

02:19:27.000 That's what I always think about stuff like this. 0.98

02:19:29.000 I remember when people thought UFC was a fucking joke, but they weren't listening to the youth. 0.98

02:19:33.000 This now, as that generation goes away, my generation, his generation, I don't know anybody that fucking plays pool. 0.99

02:19:40.000 It's a hand-eye coordination game that's difficult to learn. 0.98

02:19:43.000 It takes a long time to learn.

02:19:45.000 And you have to execute.

02:19:48.000 The thing that we used to have a problem with at the pool hall was guys wanted to come and play cards. 0.95

02:19:53.000 So they would have a problem where these tables would be filled up with guys playing cards and guys didn't even want to play pool anymore because you don't have to fucking make the shot when you're playing cards. 0.50

02:20:03.000 So it's still gambling, but you don't have to execute. 0.76

02:20:07.000 So you can just revel in the thrill of gambling money and all the craziness that's involved in being a gambling addict, but you don't have to execute on a shot. 0.99

02:20:16.000 So if there's a nine ball, and it's on the rail, and it's past the side pocket, and you have to figure out if you want to cut that motherfucker down, the long rail for the cheese, you've got to have some balls. 0.99

02:20:27.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:20:27.000 You know, it's 10 to 10, a race to 11, you've got to execute. 0.98

02:20:32.000 Some people don't like that, and that is one of the reasons why pool is like a...

02:20:37.000 That and the lack of...

02:20:39.000 A real legitimate outlet where people can enjoy it and watch it.

02:20:43.000 Pool halls.

02:20:44.000 They don't play pool.

02:20:44.000 Pool halls too, but they have to be able to watch it in a way that...

02:20:49.000 The color of money was the biggest thing that ever happened to pool.

02:20:52.000 Yeah.

02:20:53.000 And that Tom Cruise movie came out in the 19...

02:20:54.000 It's a great movie.

02:20:55.000 Was it the 80s?

02:20:56.000 Was it the late 80s, 89, 88?

02:20:57.000 When that movie came out, poo halls went bananas.

02:21:00.000 They were everywhere.

02:21:01.000 Everybody wanted to be like Tom Cruise.

02:21:03.000 Right. 0.99

02:21:03.000 They all wanted to listen to fucking Warren Zevon play Werewolves of London. 0.99

02:21:06.000 I fucking love Warren Zevon. 1.00

02:21:08.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:21:08.000 And twirl that cue around. 1.00

02:21:11.000 Ah, ooh!

02:21:13.000 And run out in front of everybody where they're like, I can't believe how good you are.

02:21:17.000 Like, that was a thing.

02:21:18.000 And it made pool popular for many years afterwards.

02:21:21.000 But it eventually waned and it wore off.

02:21:24.000 And they tried with a couple other movies that were pretty good, like Pool Hall Junkies is pretty good.

02:21:28.000 There's a few good, pretty good pool movies.

02:21:30.000 But not in the new world.

02:21:31.000 Not Color of Money.

02:21:32.000 Color of Money is Walter Tevis.

02:21:35.000 Same guy who wrote The Hustler.

02:21:36.000 Same guy who wrote The Queen's Gambit.

02:21:39.000 That television show on Netflix. 1.00

02:21:40.000 It's a great fucking show. 0.99

02:21:41.000 One of my favorite shows ever. 1.00

02:21:42.000 Great fucking show. 1.00

02:21:43.000 Same guy wrote that. 1.00

02:21:44.000 No shit? 1.00

02:21:45.000 Walter Tevis. 1.00

02:21:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:21:47.000 That's a great fucking show. 1.00

02:21:48.000 Was that a book? 1.00

02:21:48.000 The books are incredible. 1.00

02:21:49.000 That was a book, right?

02:21:49.000 Yes.

02:21:50.000 Queen's Gambit's a book, Hustler's a book, and Color of Money's a book.

02:21:53.000 Color of Money's very different than the movie, but still, great book.

02:21:56.000 Right.

02:21:57.000 And that changed the game, and everybody wanted to play pool.

02:22:01.000 They need something like that now.

02:22:02.000 That's what I mean.

02:22:03.000 Without that, the youth starts to lose that love for that thing.

02:22:07.000 Well, they just don't know it.

02:22:08.000 Right, so it's like, how could they even, what's the connect?

02:22:11.000 You know what I mean?

02:22:11.000 You know, people play it when they're drunk, you know?

02:22:14.000 Well, every time I go with you, I get fucking shit-faced, and then we play, and then you fucking whoop our ass. 1.00

02:22:18.000 But it's the game where people play in bars a lot, you know? 1.00

02:22:21.000 Yeah, but I love, but see, in the Midwest, where I come from, where this trash bag comes from, we play, isn't that right, you Midwest piece of shit? 1.00

02:22:30.000 You fucking Ohio trash. 1.00

02:22:32.000 Oh! 1.00

02:22:32.000 You know it. 1.00

02:22:33.000 You know you're fucking trash. 1.00

02:22:35.000 Listen, no one loves Ohio more than Jamie. 1.00

02:22:37.000 You should get an Ohio tattoo somewhere.

02:22:39.000 Yeah, you should.

02:22:40.000 Right on your neck. 0.73

02:22:41.000 You really should.

02:22:41.000 Where we come from, Midwest, to this day.

02:22:45.000 A lot of pool out there.

02:22:45.000 But pool, darts, like bar games will never go away.

02:22:49.000 Because it gets cold outside.

02:22:50.000 Yeah, you gotta be inside drinking doing something.

02:22:51.000 But Southern California was a hub for pool for a long time. 0.98

02:22:55.000 But now I couldn't find a fucking pool hall down there if I tried. 0.93

02:22:58.000 There's one place, and it happens to be one of the greatest places on earth. 0.98

02:23:01.000 One of the most legendary pool halls of all time.

02:23:04.000 What's it called?

02:23:04.000 Hard Times Billiards in Bellflower, California.

02:23:07.000 Because there used to be a pool hall.

02:23:08.000 We used to go.

02:23:09.000 There's one in Hollywood.

02:23:11.000 Yeah, that's small time.

02:23:13.000 Listen, when I came to California, where I wanted to go is Hard Times.

02:23:16.000 I would play in the Hard Times tournament every Sunday.

02:23:19.000 I would go down there when I was a single young man.

02:23:21.000 Big money?

02:23:21.000 No.

02:23:22.000 I mean, was there money being thrown around there?

02:23:24.000 There's money.

02:23:24.000 There's gambling.

02:23:25.000 Sometimes there was gambling.

02:23:26.000 Sometimes, like, there was one time where someone robbed the place or a guy came in with a gun and stole the stake money.

02:23:32.000 Good for him.

02:23:33.000 Because he knew that there was a certain amount of money.

02:23:34.000 They would put stake money usually either on the light or somewhere.

02:23:37.000 They would, like, you'd put down your 10 grand.

02:23:39.000 I'd put down my 10 grand.

02:23:41.000 We're playing for 10 grand.

02:23:42.000 We'd take the money and put it on the light. 1.00

02:23:43.000 You wouldn't just give it to a fucking guy? 0.99

02:23:45.000 You wouldn't give it to the middleman? 1.00

02:23:47.000 No.

02:23:47.000 There's gotta be a guy there.

02:23:48.000 A lot of times they like to put, this is Hard Times, and this is, look at that, voted best billiard room in America.

02:23:53.000 That's a fact.

02:23:54.000 Says who? 0.65

02:23:55.000 Says me.

02:23:55.000 Oh, is that Joe Rogan?

02:23:56.000 No, look, everybody says that.

02:23:58.000 When you go to Hard Times, like the Hard Times tournament, they'd have a tournament on Sunday, the pro tournament.

02:24:03.000 Yeah.

02:24:03.000 I forget what they called it, but I never won more than- Go to the outside photo.

02:24:07.000 Sorry, go to the outside photo.

02:24:08.000 I never won more than a match.

02:24:08.000 Right there.

02:24:09.000 Yeah.

02:24:09.000 Yeah, that's exactly what it looks like.

02:24:11.000 It's a dirty place.

02:24:12.000 That carpet smell is- It's a great, great place. 1.00

02:24:14.000 I can feel it.

02:24:15.000 And it's been around for a long, long- Can you smoke inside?

02:24:18.000 You used to be able to.

02:24:19.000 I love that.

02:24:21.000 So you'd go there on any given Sunday and Efren Reyes would be playing there.

02:24:25.000 The guy we talked about before?

02:24:26.000 Oh, he was on the California guy.

02:24:27.000 No, no.

02:24:28.000 But he would be in town.

02:24:29.000 He would play there.

02:24:30.000 Francisco Busamante would play there.

02:24:31.000 Efren would be playing chess while he wasn't playing pool.

02:24:34.000 Rodolfo Luat.

02:24:35.000 You know, like the best guys ever.

02:24:37.000 Dennis Arcuglio.

02:24:38.000 All Filipino guys, they would come to Bellflower.

02:24:41.000 And everybody would know they were there and they would set up games.

02:24:44.000 They would play in the tournament.

02:24:45.000 And then guys would come out of the woodwork and some guys would travel. 0.99

02:24:48.000 People would sit and fucking watch. 0.99

02:24:50.000 I've never seen that. 1.00

02:24:50.000 I would do that. 1.00

02:24:51.000 I would sit in there.

02:24:52.000 I'd play a match, and if I won, if I was fortunate enough to win, I'd sit down and watch all these other people play.

02:24:58.000 Generally speaking, I was like one and done.

02:25:00.000 I usually either lose my first match or I win one and then lose my second match.

02:25:06.000 I never came close to winning the tournament, but I had a bunch of friends that were like legit pros that won the tournament, and I'd go and watch all the time.

02:25:13.000 I'd watch guys gamble and play.

02:25:15.000 It's an art form that only the people that practice it appreciate.

02:25:21.000 Yeah, that's a lot of specific things, right?

02:25:22.000 Like that, anything like that.

02:25:23.000 Like you were talking about golf.

02:25:24.000 Golf.

02:25:25.000 Like, I don't play golf, so if I saw a guy do that, I'd be like, yeah, he looks good.

02:25:28.000 Good job. 0.99

02:25:29.000 But when you see it, you're like, holy shit. 0.98

02:25:31.000 When you know what you can do, and then you compare it. 0.98

02:25:33.000 When you know what most people do.

02:25:34.000 Right, right, right.

02:25:34.000 Correct.

02:25:34.000 It's absurd.

02:25:35.000 When you physically watch someone hit it 330, 340 yards.

02:25:39.000 Yeah.

02:25:40.000 But also, because of the physical, like we're talking about.

02:25:43.000 When you see a skinny, not... 1.00

02:25:46.000 We just, in our minds, are always like, you gotta be fucking jacked to do man shit. 1.00

02:25:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:25:50.000 When you see someone like slenderly do something smooth, like him breaking, you're like, huh? 1.00

02:25:55.000 What are the physics that I'm missing?

02:25:57.000 Right.

02:25:57.000 What's the click that just changes over to being like, I'm just better than you?

02:26:01.000 Exactly.

02:26:02.000 Yeah, what is it?

02:26:03.000 It's one of those things, man.

02:26:05.000 It's like, everybody has gifts in some area.

02:26:10.000 And it's like...

02:26:11.000 How much time are you willing to dedicate to this one thing to hone it to a razor-sharp edge?

02:26:18.000 Is it bowling?

02:26:19.000 The strike?

02:26:20.000 You know, those guys, they twist that ball and you see it curve and smash into those pins.

02:26:24.000 Like, every time they hit a strike and they go...

02:26:27.000 It must feel amazing.

02:26:28.000 It must feel amazing.

02:26:29.000 What's that guy, Jamie, that, whoever you think you are, I am. 1.00

02:26:32.000 What's that fucking guy's name? 1.00

02:26:33.000 He was talking to his father. 1.00

02:26:34.000 Pete, he's like a legend in bowling. 1.00

02:26:37.000 This dude's the shit. 1.00

02:26:38.000 Really? 1.00

02:26:39.000 Yeah, this phrase went viral, because he hits the strike to win, and he's like, who the fuck do you think you are? 0.99

02:26:45.000 I am! 1.00

02:26:46.000 Like, just talking shit. 1.00

02:26:47.000 But he was saying it, I guess the follow-up was he said it to his father. 1.00

02:26:51.000 It was like to his dad, like a...

02:26:53.000 This is him right here.

02:26:54.000 Yeah, Peter Weber.

02:26:55.000 Pete Weber.

02:26:55.000 Yeah, look at this.

02:26:57.000 Watch this. 0.99

02:27:00.000 Yes, God damn it. 1.00

02:27:16.000 What a boss phrase. 1.00

02:27:17.000 Who do you think you are?

02:27:19.000 I am.

02:27:19.000 Who do you think you are?

02:27:20.000 I am.

02:27:21.000 That's incredible.

02:27:22.000 Do it again.

02:27:22.000 Do it one more time.

02:27:23.000 Hold on.

02:27:23.000 Do it one more time.

02:27:24.000 Just because I fucking love... 0.98

02:27:25.000 Just like... 0.98

02:27:26.000 Are you kidding me?

02:27:29.000 That's right.

02:27:30.000 Who do you think you are?

02:27:34.000 I'm going to tell you something, man.

02:27:36.000 There's something magic about that kind of fame.

02:27:39.000 Look at all those bowling dorks. 1.00

02:27:41.000 They're like, yeah! 1.00

02:27:42.000 Fuck yeah, dude. 1.00

02:27:43.000 I'm one of those dorks. 1.00

02:27:44.000 I love this shit. 1.00

02:27:45.000 I understand, but look at that guy with his arms up in the air. 1.00

02:27:48.000 The guy in the right-hand side.

02:27:49.000 Losing it.

02:27:49.000 Right there.

02:27:50.000 Up there.

02:27:50.000 Look at him.

02:27:51.000 Yes!

02:27:52.000 Losing it. 1.00

02:27:53.000 Fuck yes. 1.00

02:27:53.000 The ball knocked over the pin! 1.00

02:27:56.000 Who do you think you are?

02:27:58.000 I am! 1.00

02:27:59.000 I love that shit. 1.00

02:28:00.000 Did you see this one? 1.00

02:28:01.000 This kid hit a 7-10 split.

02:28:02.000 This is my ginger.

02:28:03.000 This is my cousin.

02:28:04.000 I retweeted this.

02:28:05.000 I said my cousin's out here. 1.00

02:28:06.000 With a fucking mask on? 1.00

02:28:07.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:28:07.000 They make him wear a mask? 1.00

02:28:08.000 They have to at these tournaments now.

02:28:10.000 Jesus Christ.

02:28:11.000 I guess this is very exciting.

02:28:12.000 It hasn't been done very often on camera.

02:28:14.000 It happens only a couple times a year.

02:28:17.000 Oh, okay.

02:28:18.000 Let me see him do it.

02:28:19.000 Oh, it's right there.

02:28:21.000 Alright, so here it is.

02:28:22.000 Oh, go back.

02:28:22.000 Did it.

02:28:27.000 Oh, that's the move?

02:28:28.000 You have to get it to bounce off the wall and hit the other way?

02:28:31.000 The only way that any professional has ever said a 7-10 split can work is you have to hit the 7 or the 10 pin at an angle to kick off the wall and be lucky enough that usually, which is even crazier, you can look it up, there's a back flap.

02:28:43.000 There's like a big, heavy flap.

02:28:44.000 You know, when the pin's hit against behind there, you usually can't see.

02:28:47.000 It has to hit the wall and or the flap and jack sideways.

02:28:50.000 So this one...

02:28:51.000 Show it.

02:28:52.000 Show it again.

02:28:53.000 Okay, so look here.

02:28:54.000 You see that?

02:28:55.000 So watch.

02:28:55.000 Go back, go back, go back.

02:28:56.000 You'll see it hit the flap.

02:28:57.000 It'll hit the wall, the flap, and then come forward.

02:28:59.000 You see that?

02:29:00.000 So it has to have considerable force.

02:29:02.000 Unbelievable.

02:29:02.000 And the accuracy is almost impossible.

02:29:05.000 Even still...

02:29:05.000 And he's not even breathing.

02:29:06.000 Nah, he doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

02:29:07.000 He's got a mask on. 0.99

02:29:08.000 Even still, that's what's so weird about this.

02:29:09.000 It's so hard.

02:29:11.000 Even still, when you hit it off the wall at the right angle, the flap, it has to spin off the exact way for it to hit the other pin.

02:29:17.000 That's why it never happens.

02:29:18.000 It's...

02:29:19.000 The best bowlers in the world can do it a million times and still not get it to perfectly angle off.

02:29:24.000 A lot of it's luck.

02:29:26.000 Is it harder than a hole-in-one, would you say?

02:29:28.000 What do you think?

02:29:29.000 I know they're completely different.

02:29:31.000 The only reason I'll say yes is because on the PGA Tour, look it up.

02:29:34.000 I mean, there was just another one.

02:29:36.000 You get a hole-in-one.

02:29:38.000 I would say there's probably more hole-in-ones during the course of the year of the PGA than there are 7-10s.

02:29:42.000 Don't you think more people are playing golf than bowling?

02:29:45.000 I know, yeah.

02:29:45.000 Per capita, it's hard to say.

02:29:46.000 Especially at an elite level?

02:29:48.000 People, you can bowl all night, you can't golf all night, and there's like 15 lanes, and there's only some people on a golf course.

02:29:54.000 Yeah, I think bowling also, you could practice that thing over and over again, where it's like practicing a hole-in-one, like good luck.

02:30:00.000 I've only seen one, I've been present for one.

02:30:04.000 And you know what the craziest thing that most people say when they see a hole-in-one?

02:30:06.000 When they hit it, you almost know what's happening.

02:30:09.000 Obviously it wasn't me, but when I saw somebody hit it, I was like, Don't you think they say that after it's over? 0.87

02:30:14.000 I fucking knew it, bro. 0.90

02:30:15.000 Only because it... 0.99

02:30:16.000 Nah, but when he knows...

02:30:16.000 When you hit it, it looks so right.

02:30:19.000 You're like, oh wow, that looks really good.

02:30:21.000 Yeah.

02:30:22.000 Because the accuracy in golf is absurd.

02:30:24.000 It's like...

02:30:25.000 He knows.

02:30:26.000 When you...

02:30:26.000 The accuracy is almost embarrassingly absurd.

02:30:29.000 Because you're supposed to aim for a very small target...

02:30:32.000 And even an inch off in your mind is 10 yards in reality.

02:30:35.000 Isn't that interesting why we're so obsessed with accuracy?

02:30:39.000 Oh, we love it.

02:30:40.000 What do you think that's from?

02:30:40.000 Darts, pool, golf.

02:30:41.000 I mean, it's obsessiveness.

02:30:43.000 We love... 1.00

02:30:43.000 I think it's fucking caveman shit of like... 1.00

02:30:47.000 It's archery. 1.00

02:30:48.000 Yeah, caveman beginnings.

02:30:49.000 You wanted to hit something specific.

02:30:51.000 I think that's why I like archery so much.

02:30:54.000 The accuracy. 1.00

02:30:55.000 Well, you posted fucking today! 0.99

02:30:56.000 Yeah, today. 0.99

02:30:57.000 It was just like, the specificity of it is impressive.

02:31:01.000 It's not that you did it.

02:31:02.000 That's this and 61 yards.

02:31:04.000 Yeah, it's just because it's impressive because you're like, I can do that.

02:31:08.000 I can put it in the thing that my mind is picturing where I want it to go.

02:31:13.000 But I do that all the time.

02:31:15.000 That's why.

02:31:16.000 Because that's how I clear my mind. 0.95

02:31:18.000 I get out there and I launch death missiles at a rubber target. 0.99

02:31:24.000 I launch death missiles at rubber targets.

02:31:26.000 I have a new bow that my friend John Dudley made.

02:31:28.000 Is that what you just put outside?

02:31:30.000 No, no.

02:31:31.000 That one has to get repaired.

02:31:33.000 Oh, you're getting a new one made.

02:31:34.000 No, no, no.

02:31:34.000 I have a new one that's on John Dudley's Instagram.

02:31:38.000 It's 95 pounds to pull it back.

02:31:40.000 It's the most meathead.

02:31:42.000 What's the average?

02:31:43.000 60 pounds?

02:31:45.000 Yeah, 60 or 70. 70 is a lot.

02:31:47.000 80 is kind of crazy. 1.00

02:31:48.000 95 is so stupid. 1.00

02:31:50.000 Who are you trying to prove something to? 1.00

02:31:51.000 I'm not.

02:31:51.000 Cam Haynes, this is what it is.

02:31:55.000 My regular bow is 84 pounds, which is a lot.

02:31:57.000 That's heavy.

02:31:58.000 But I work out a lot.

02:31:59.000 So what?

02:32:00.000 It's heavy.

02:32:00.000 It's not, though.

02:32:01.000 It's easy for me to pull back.

02:32:02.000 I pull it back all day.

02:32:03.000 And so my friend Cam got a 90-pound bow.

02:32:07.000 And I shot his bow. 0.99

02:32:09.000 I was like, I fucking like this bow a lot. 0.99

02:32:10.000 It's not that much of a difference between 84 and 90. But there's like several feet per second increase in the velocity of the arrow. 0.97

02:32:17.000 And I think maybe even more accuracy because you have a higher holding weight.

02:32:21.000 It's very complicated, right?

02:32:22.000 But I felt good with it.

02:32:23.000 And so I called John.

02:32:24.000 I said, dude, I think I'm jealous.

02:32:26.000 I think I need one of them 90 pound bows. 0.98

02:32:28.000 And he goes, why not make something even fucking crazier? 0.98

02:32:31.000 I'm like, I like the way you talk. 0.98

02:32:33.000 What are you saying?

02:32:34.000 So he made me a 95-pound bow.

02:32:38.000 That is so nuts.

02:32:40.000 I've never shot a bow that's that hard to pull back, but it's not hard for me.

02:32:44.000 There's a video of me pulling it back.

02:32:45.000 I can pull it back pretty easy.

02:32:47.000 What are the ones in elementary school?

02:32:48.000 10 pounds?

02:32:49.000 I can do that.

02:32:49.000 That's me.

02:32:50.000 I'm about 10 pounds. 0.99

02:32:51.000 But it's interesting what technology is involved in these fucking bows now. 0.99

02:33:00.000 It is fucking crazy to look at. 0.99

02:33:02.000 And you're going off of a little bubble level. 0.98

02:33:05.000 So there's like, when you side it in, you have to make sure the bubble is level, and it's correct?

02:33:10.000 That's it.

02:33:10.000 That's the bow that John built for me.

02:33:11.000 It's almost like he wanted to see what he could build, too.

02:33:15.000 He wanted to see, like, each one has a gorilla on the face of it.

02:33:18.000 The arrows have Kong on them. 0.95

02:33:20.000 But he wanted to build something that was just the most ridiculous thing he's ever shot in his life. 0.59

02:33:24.000 And so he built me this thing. 0.98

02:33:27.000 It's pretty nuts, man.

02:33:28.000 I don't even know where to start with this stuff.

02:33:30.000 It's just so specific and insane to me. 1.00

02:33:32.000 Well, John is the master of specific shit. 1.00

02:33:35.000 He's the master at all that stuff. 0.99

02:33:38.000 He understands the mechanics of archery better than anybody I've ever talked to in my life.

02:33:44.000 But that's his thing, you know?

02:33:45.000 Right.

02:33:46.000 Some people are golfing, some people are pool. 1.00

02:33:48.000 That's his shit. 1.00

02:33:49.000 But his shit is archery, you know? 1.00

02:33:51.000 Right. 1.00

02:33:51.000 He's a master. 1.00

02:33:52.000 Like when you watch him shoot a bow, it's like, it's like Jesus Christ.

02:33:57.000 Like a hundred yards, thunk.

02:33:59.000 Does he hand make the bows too?

02:34:00.000 I mean the arrows, the arrows?

02:34:01.000 He puts everything together. 1.00

02:34:03.000 Damn. 1.00

02:34:03.000 He cuts the arrows, he weighs them all, puts the inserts in, glues it, everything. 1.00

02:34:07.000 Everything he does.

02:34:08.000 And the blades on the arrow? 1.00

02:34:10.000 He hand does all that shit? 1.00

02:34:11.000 No, you buy those. 1.00

02:34:12.000 You have to?

02:34:13.000 Yeah, you buy those.

02:34:14.000 Those are manufactured- I don't respect them anymore.

02:34:16.000 If he made them, I would respect them.

02:34:17.000 John, I don't respect you now. 1.00

02:34:18.000 Now that I know you don't make the fucking blades, I don't respect them. 0.99

02:34:20.000 A broadhead is made to very exacting specifications. 0.99

02:34:24.000 What are the blades made out of?

02:34:25.000 Mostly steel, sometimes carbon steel.

02:34:28.000 The ones I use right now are carbon steel.

02:34:30.000 I like them.

02:34:31.000 They're a little bit more expensive, but it's way sharper.

02:34:33.000 It holds an edge better.

02:34:35.000 Can that arrow go through a human being or no?

02:34:37.000 No way.

02:34:38.000 It wouldn't do that.

02:34:38.000 It's nice.

02:34:40.000 It stops right at the door.

02:34:42.000 Like if we went out there and you shot me with that thing.

02:34:47.000 Yeah, you'd be in a real problem. 0.98

02:34:50.000 Would it go through my body?

02:34:51.000 Oh, 100%.

02:34:52.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:34:53.000 All the way through?

02:34:53.000 Oh, yeah.

02:34:54.000 That's tight.

02:34:54.000 And like 30 or 40 yards past you.

02:34:57.000 That's tight.

02:34:57.000 Should we try it?

02:34:59.000 Should we, me and Jamie line up, nuts the butts, and do it? 1.00

02:35:01.000 I would shoot an arrow right through both of you. 1.00

02:35:03.000 What's the limit, do you think? 1.00

02:35:03.000 With Kong? 1.00

02:35:04.000 With that fucking crazy bow? 1.00

02:35:07.000 How many flesh bodies at once? 1.00

02:35:09.000 It's very rare to get a pass through, which is when the arrow goes in one side of the animal and out the other.

02:35:14.000 Comes out.

02:35:14.000 On a buffalo.

02:35:16.000 Most of the time with a buffalo, you're just trying to hit the vitals, and you get one inch wound.

02:35:22.000 If he was using your bow in The Walking Dead, how many zombies at once could he kill?

02:35:27.000 Real talk.

02:35:28.000 That's a real question. 1.00

02:35:29.000 Well, you can just stab them in the head. 1.00

02:35:31.000 They're made out of styrofoam. 1.00

02:35:32.000 You can go through all of them. 0.99

02:35:35.000 We could line up every fucking zombie that ever lived. 0.99

02:35:38.000 What's your weapon of choice on zombie day? 1.00

02:35:39.000 What's your weapon of choice?

02:35:40.000 I think I like the sword.

02:35:42.000 That girl with the sword, with the samurai sword.

02:35:44.000 Smart. 1.00

02:35:44.000 Because I don't have to reload and I just fuck those dudes up. 1.00

02:35:47.000 I would just need good cardio and good shoulder endurance. 0.97

02:35:50.000 So what I would need is like multiple months of like kendo training.

02:35:55.000 Like, go David Lee Roth style, go to Japan.

02:35:58.000 Yeah.

02:35:58.000 You know David Lee Roth did that?

02:36:00.000 Went to Japan to learn kendo?

02:36:01.000 No. 0.99

02:36:02.000 Yeah, fucking lived there for a year, learning kendo. 1.00

02:36:05.000 Just learning how to sword fight. 0.99

02:36:07.000 That's how badass David Lee Roth is.

02:36:09.000 You're going with swords?

02:36:10.000 Oh yeah, for zombie swords.

02:36:11.000 What are you doing, Jay?

02:36:11.000 I don't know if your sword got stuck in a bone and then you're...

02:36:15.000 You're talking about me, not you. 0.99

02:36:16.000 I'm not getting my sword stuck in any fucking zombie. 1.00

02:36:18.000 Don't talk about his fucking sword, Jamie. 1.00

02:36:19.000 I'm going right through these people. 1.00

02:36:20.000 I'm saying battle axe. 0.97

02:36:21.000 These dead people. 0.96

02:36:22.000 I want battle axe. 0.97

02:36:22.000 Oh, battle axe is good. 0.97

02:36:23.000 Because I want something with blunt force as well.

02:36:25.000 Do you know what I mean?

02:36:25.000 My worry about the sword is the handle is small.

02:36:27.000 But the thing is, like, a samurai sword is fairly light.

02:36:30.000 You've touched that samurai sword I have at the studio.

02:36:32.000 Yeah.

02:36:32.000 That's an old samurai sword.

02:36:33.000 It's from the 1500s.

02:36:34.000 It is quite light. 0.99

02:36:35.000 I'll cut the fuck out of some zombies with that. 0.99

02:36:38.000 I feel like that's the move. 1.00

02:36:39.000 I feel like that lady's got the right move. 1.00

02:36:40.000 Because that crossbow's nonsense.

02:36:42.000 First of all, he's got field tips, which infuriate me. 0.87

02:36:45.000 These little tiny points with no broadhead at all, and it just goes into the zombie and kills him, and he never gets a pass-through, ever.

02:36:51.000 He sticks him in their head, he pulls it out, and it reloads.

02:36:54.000 Those things are hard to reload.

02:36:55.000 They're really hard.

02:36:56.000 Why?

02:36:56.000 Because they're just so...

02:36:57.000 They're really heavy. 0.99

02:36:58.000 Like, when you put an arrow, it's actually called a bolt, in a crossbow because it's shorter than an arrow, and you have to grab a fucking handle and, like, click! 0.99

02:37:07.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:37:07.000 It takes like a hundred pounds to pull it back. 0.97

02:37:10.000 Like a lot of people probably don't even know how to do it and they would have a hard time doing it.

02:37:14.000 Like to pull back a crossbow.

02:37:16.000 It's not nearly as easy.

02:37:17.000 Like a bow you could just pull back.

02:37:18.000 You could just pull back a bow. 0.99

02:37:20.000 But crossbows do look tight as fuck. 0.99

02:37:21.000 It's fucking hard to do. 0.99

02:37:22.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:37:23.000 What's your weapon, Gene?

02:37:23.000 It's unrealistic.

02:37:24.000 I'm thinking, I don't want to be the same, but I was like, man, a bat would be good, but then if you don't kill one, you're fucked right away. 0.99

02:37:32.000 Bats are heavier than swords. 0.99

02:37:34.000 Battle axe for me, because you get the blunt and you get this sharp edge that you can still continue to sharpen and cut people up with. 0.99

02:37:41.000 The only other thing I think would be fun, like nunchucks would be fun as fuck. 1.00

02:37:48.000 Nunchucks and zombies. 0.99

02:37:49.000 They have to get so close to you, though.

02:37:51.000 If they bit you, then you become a zombie. 1.00

02:37:53.000 Not because you fucking smack them, you hit them once, and you can fucking choke them out with the fucking nunchuck. 1.00

02:37:58.000 If you're sadistic and you want to have some fun, because killing zombies must get old. 1.00

02:38:01.000 You must want to kill them different at some point. 0.99

02:38:03.000 Right. 0.99

02:38:04.000 You have to change how you kill.

02:38:06.000 Especially after you get good at it.

02:38:07.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:38:07.000 So, by the way, they're so slow and lethargic, they're not getting that close enough to bite you.

02:38:13.000 It's like playing that first level of Pac-Man forever.

02:38:15.000 Right.

02:38:16.000 The one that everybody gets through.

02:38:18.000 Yeah, before it gets crazy.

02:38:20.000 Right, before it gets insane.

02:38:21.000 That's what it's like.

02:38:21.000 It's too easy.

02:38:22.000 You're not worried about anything in that.

02:38:23.000 Never worried about them.

02:38:24.000 That's my point.

02:38:24.000 Once you learn how to kill, Well, then why did they get worried in The Walking Dead?

02:38:27.000 I stopped watching it.

02:38:28.000 It's a show.

02:38:28.000 Because you start worrying about people, not the zombies, right?

02:38:30.000 They're not worried about zombies. 1.00

02:38:31.000 We're talking about in our fucking world. 1.00

02:38:32.000 I know, I know, I know. 1.00

02:38:33.000 Yeah, that's what...

02:38:34.000 The Walking Dead, that's when I quit watching it. 0.82

02:38:36.000 It became murder porn.

02:38:37.000 It was people murdering people. 0.94

02:38:39.000 Yeah, it was just how do you kill different...

02:38:40.000 Yeah, it's just like you weren't killing zombies anymore.

02:38:43.000 It wasn't like you got to get away from zombies.

02:38:45.000 Now it's like these interpersonal relationships.

02:38:47.000 You know, this lady's pregnant or she watches her husband get killed with a bat in front of her. 1.00

02:38:52.000 It's like, what the fuck am I watching? 1.00

02:38:53.000 Yeah, it's TV. It's saying about zombies anymore. 0.99

02:38:56.000 No, the zombie shit, you'd have to find fun ways to fuck them up. 1.00

02:38:59.000 That's why I thought, what was that, why can't I, Zombieland was so fucking great. 1.00

02:39:02.000 The Walking Dead was great for two seasons. 0.79

02:39:05.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:39:05.000 Those first two seasons were really fucking, and you know what else is really fucking good? 0.98

02:39:08.000 The first episode of Enter the Walking Dead, or whatever the LA version is. 0.98

02:39:12.000 It was, uh...

02:39:13.000 What's it called?

02:39:15.000 Fear of the Walking Dead.

02:39:17.000 That's right.

02:39:17.000 I'm thinking Enter the Dragon.

02:39:19.000 Fear of the Walking Dead is really good, man. 0.94

02:39:21.000 First season's really fucking good because it feels real. 0.68

02:39:24.000 And I think it's maybe even better written. 0.92

02:39:26.000 I think maybe even better acted or better directed or something.

02:39:30.000 It feels more artistic.

02:39:31.000 Sure.

02:39:31.000 The Fear of the Walking Dead is really good.

02:39:33.000 But even I got bored after a while.

02:39:35.000 I'm like, I get it. 1.00

02:39:36.000 Your life sucks. 1.00

02:39:37.000 Your life sucks. 1.00

02:39:37.000 You don't want to be a zombie. 1.00

02:39:38.000 But TV shows, honestly, that's why I like British TV shows are so successful when they do three seasons.

02:39:43.000 Two or three seasons is kind of this weird sweet spot.

02:39:45.000 The BBC figured it out years ago.

02:39:47.000 We get greedy over here.

02:39:48.000 Well, we want the money.

02:39:49.000 Well, because this thing with the network thing that we did in Hollywood was like seven seasons and a movie, and then you get syndication and 100 episodes.

02:39:56.000 It was money.

02:39:58.000 You know what show is still at the same quality all these years in?

02:40:02.000 Modern Family. 0.99

02:40:04.000 Well, yeah, I mean, they're done now, but yeah, fuck yeah. 0.88

02:40:06.000 Yeah, they made 10 years of great TV. I think it's 11. Maybe 11, yeah.

02:40:10.000 I think they had 11 seasons.

02:40:11.000 Dude, it's so good.

02:40:13.000 My family's into it.

02:40:15.000 Yeah, it's a good show.

02:40:16.000 We watch with the kids before they go to sleep because it's appropriate.

02:40:19.000 Like, you'd actually watch it with a 10-year-old and you don't cringe too much.

02:40:21.000 Mm-hmm.

02:40:22.000 Yeah, there's not too many moments.

02:40:24.000 Because it's ABC. Actually, the only thing I would say long-lasting comparable is Always Sunny is fucking great. 0.96

02:40:30.000 I never got into that. 0.91

02:40:31.000 Still a great show. 0.99

02:40:32.000 I'm buddies with McElhaney on there, and it's great fucking TV. It's funny as fuck. 1.00

02:40:39.000 They still make funny, relevant shit. 1.00

02:40:40.000 It's hilarious. 0.98

02:40:41.000 And they've been on there for...

02:40:42.000 13 years.

02:40:43.000 I don't know.

02:40:44.000 I still think it's just as funny as it was when I first saw it the first couple of times.

02:40:49.000 You'd love it, bro. 0.99

02:40:50.000 It's a fucking great show. 1.00

02:40:51.000 It's almost like there's too much good shit to watch. 1.00

02:40:53.000 It's been on since 2005. It's still on? 0.99

02:40:55.000 Yeah.

02:40:56.000 It's still August 4th, 2005. They just got renewed by FX for three more seasons.

02:41:00.000 What?

02:41:01.000 That's crazy.

02:41:02.000 But I mean, like, Charlie Day is an outright star, too, so it's like it's awesome.

02:41:06.000 16 years?

02:41:06.000 They've been on for 16 years, yeah.

02:41:08.000 Yeah, it's 14 seasons.

02:41:09.000 They might have taken, you know, a couple months, extra months.

02:41:11.000 Time off, yeah.

02:41:11.000 Right.

02:41:13.000 But they're all good. 0.98

02:41:14.000 You know what else is fucking amazing? 0.98

02:41:15.000 Schitt's Creek. 0.99

02:41:16.000 Oh, yeah.

02:41:17.000 He's great.

02:41:17.000 Well, I know Dan.

02:41:18.000 Dude, do you know what's so funny about that?

02:41:20.000 I was at a party.

02:41:21.000 Which guy's Dan?

02:41:22.000 The son?

02:41:23.000 The son, yeah.

02:41:24.000 Eugene's son.

02:41:25.000 Right.

02:41:26.000 Okay. 1.00

02:41:26.000 I met Dan through a bunch of Canadian actors that I knew because these motherfuckers, they all know each other. 1.00

02:41:32.000 Canadians? 0.99

02:41:33.000 Dude, they all know each other.

02:41:33.000 They love each other so much.

02:41:35.000 They're so proud.

02:41:36.000 He says to me, he says, yeah, I got this, we sold this TV show and I'm going to make this TV show with my father.

02:41:41.000 This is like right before it happened.

02:41:42.000 And my wife and I were at a party with a bunch of different people.

02:41:45.000 I was like, oh, that's great, man.

02:41:46.000 I was like, I'm not trying to be annoying, but I love your dad. 0.93

02:41:49.000 Eugene Levy, I fucking think he's brilliant. 0.84

02:41:51.000 All those movies I love. 0.99

02:41:53.000 Fucking Mighty Wind. 0.97

02:41:57.000 He's incredible. 0.99

02:41:58.000 He's incredible.

02:41:59.000 Actually, my favorite thing that he ever did was Best in Show. 0.81

02:42:02.000 It's fucking hilarious the best line he ever had that made me have tears I had tears in my eyes as he goes He's like he's got these big teeth and he's interviewing and he's like wow you know in high school You know they call me loopy you know because they said that I couldn't dance I had two left feet and then the camera slowly pans down and he actually as he goes and I do I have two left I actually was born unfortunately with two left two left feet it was just such a fucking perfect CCTV Canadian comedy. 0.58

02:42:27.000 I mean, like, they were so good at that, all those guys.

02:42:31.000 It was just so specific and weird and quirky.

02:42:34.000 But anyway, he said, I'm making a show with my dad, and I thought, good luck, man.

02:42:39.000 I hope it does well.

02:42:40.000 Sure enough, it's like nine Emmys or whatever.

02:42:44.000 No, I just thought maybe it'll be funny, whatever fun show he does with his dad.

02:42:47.000 It's become the most... 0.98

02:42:48.000 I mean, how many fucking awards has that show won? 0.98

02:42:50.000 They ended that, too. 0.99

02:42:51.000 Yeah.

02:42:52.000 Yeah, but on a good note.

02:42:54.000 I think they went out their way.

02:42:56.000 You know what they did?

02:42:57.000 They never were inconsistent.

02:43:00.000 It was just a funny show, man.

02:43:02.000 Yeah, the entirety of the run of the show.

02:43:04.000 And Catherine O'Hara.

02:43:06.000 Amazing.

02:43:07.000 Everybody, the whole cast.

02:43:08.000 She came to see me at the improv. 1.00

02:43:10.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

02:43:11.000 Hollywood? 1.00

02:43:12.000 Yeah, the Hollywood improv.

02:43:13.000 This is probably...

02:43:14.000 I don't even know.

02:43:17.000 Six years ago, something like that.

02:43:19.000 Was she trying to bang some dude that liked you? 1.00

02:43:21.000 She was trying to bang me. 1.00

02:43:22.000 And I said, no way.

02:43:23.000 No way, lady. 1.00

02:43:25.000 I'm too much of a fan.

02:43:27.000 She came to watch.

02:43:28.000 She wanted to see me.

02:43:30.000 And I was blown away because I was like, oh man, I've just liked you for so many years.

02:43:34.000 I mean, she's iconic.

02:43:36.000 She's a mother in Home Alone.

02:43:37.000 Home Alone.

02:43:38.000 Do you know what I mean? 1.00

02:43:39.000 She's iconic as fuck. 1.00

02:43:40.000 She's been in how many fucking great movies? 1.00

02:43:42.000 I mean, too many. 0.99

02:43:43.000 Wasn't she in Nightmare Before Christmas?

02:43:45.000 She was in...

02:43:45.000 Was she one of the voices in Nightmare Before Christmas?

02:43:55.000 I don't know.

02:43:55.000 You know what it is?

02:43:55.000 I think I saw her do the reenactment.

02:43:59.000 They do a reenactment of Nightmare Before Christmas at the Hollywood Bowl.

02:44:02.000 I think she was in that.

02:44:04.000 She does that, yeah. 1.00

02:44:05.000 By the way, rest in peace.

02:44:06.000 Who knows when the Hollywood Bowl is going to come back?

02:44:08.000 Well, apparently the store is back.

02:44:11.000 I got a text.

02:44:12.000 Literally today.

02:44:13.000 They're going to do shows.

02:44:14.000 We should shout it out and let everybody know because I think it's almost sold out.

02:44:18.000 But I think you have to have a COVID test.

02:44:22.000 Do you?

02:44:22.000 Yes.

02:44:23.000 I got a text from a bunch of different people saying they're back next week, I think.

02:44:29.000 Or this week.

02:44:30.000 Maybe?

02:44:30.000 What is it?

02:44:30.000 Yeah, no, this week.

02:44:31.000 She is in that, by the way.

02:44:33.000 What?

02:44:34.000 She is the voice.

02:44:35.000 Yeah, she is the voice.

02:44:36.000 Because I definitely saw her at the Hollywood Bowl thing. 0.75

02:44:39.000 No, she... 1.00

02:44:39.000 So the store has one show I think is already sold out. 1.00

02:44:42.000 Another show is...

02:44:44.000 You have to have either vaccination, proof of vaccination, or you have to have a negative COVID test and you have to wear a mask.

02:44:52.000 And once a certain amount of time has passed, the show is closed.

02:44:56.000 You can't go and watch.

02:44:58.000 Not like the old days where you come and go and come and go.

02:45:00.000 Exactly.

02:45:00.000 They're not going to do that.

02:45:01.000 They're going to have it locked down.

02:45:02.000 But we will be back to that point.

02:45:04.000 I think the idea is they probably are appeasing whatever regulations the city has put on them. 0.99

02:45:09.000 Yeah, but whatever LA fucking... 0.98

02:45:11.000 LA's got... 0.99

02:45:12.000 Well, because LA County's different.

02:45:13.000 Orange County has its whole different rules, right?

02:45:14.000 I just played Brea, and that was half cap, I think.

02:45:18.000 And Brea's...

02:45:19.000 Orange County's its own...

02:45:20.000 I don't even know if they're Orange County.

02:45:22.000 They're...

02:45:23.000 What's Inland?

02:45:24.000 I don't even know if Brea... 1.00

02:45:25.000 Whatever.

02:45:25.000 Whatever it is.

02:45:26.000 But they all have their own fucking thing. 1.00

02:45:28.000 So LA County has its own shit, and they're... 1.00

02:45:31.000 Different tiers. 1.00

02:45:32.000 Different tiers.

02:45:33.000 Statewide tiers.

02:45:33.000 So Brea's half capacity, that's not bad.

02:45:36.000 Brea was half cap.

02:45:37.000 Orange County is same thing, is half cap down there.

02:45:40.000 So like Irvine?

02:45:41.000 Irvine, yeah.

02:45:41.000 Half cap.

02:45:43.000 Yeah, they're all open now.

02:45:43.000 They just opened last week.

02:45:44.000 They do the Paramount out here.

02:45:45.000 They only do one third.

02:45:48.000 I know.

02:45:49.000 But that's their own business.

02:45:50.000 It's their thing.

02:45:51.000 They can do that if they want.

02:45:53.000 It's not a city ordinance or a state ordinance.

02:45:56.000 It's them.

02:45:57.000 Yeah.

02:45:57.000 Right, like I'm going, this weekend I'm going to Dallas, Addison.

02:46:02.000 Bitch, where are you going? 1.00

02:46:03.000 Addison Improv, baby. 1.00

02:46:04.000 Isn't that wide open?

02:46:05.000 They're open.

02:46:06.000 They're open.

02:46:07.000 They're almost full cap, I think.

02:46:09.000 I think.

02:46:10.000 I'm not positive.

02:46:11.000 They can be full cap if they want to.

02:46:13.000 I think they are.

02:46:13.000 I do them and then I do Houston in a couple of months too, and they're both.

02:46:16.000 It's funny how many people are resisting the idea of opening things up.

02:46:22.000 Resisting the idea of giving people the option to go if they want to go.

02:46:25.000 And they're worried about this big spread that hasn't happened in the places where they've opened things up.

02:46:30.000 Because if you go to Florida...

02:46:31.000 Yeah, it's open.

02:46:32.000 They were worried.

02:46:33.000 The spread was going to happen.

02:46:34.000 It was going to happen.

02:46:34.000 It didn't happen.

02:46:36.000 They were worried about Texas when the governor opened up Texas.

02:46:38.000 It's going to happen.

02:46:39.000 It's going to happen.

02:46:40.000 But it didn't happen.

02:46:41.000 When do we adjust to the fact that it didn't happen?

02:46:43.000 Well, I made an Instagram story.

02:46:46.000 Joe Biden put up an Instagram post that was like, if you're fully vaxxed, you don't have to wear a mask outside anymore.

02:46:54.000 It's like... 1.00

02:46:55.000 Yeah, no shit. 1.00

02:46:56.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:46:57.000 Is this the message that we're... 1.00

02:46:58.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:46:58.000 It's so dumb. 0.99

02:46:59.000 You don't have to wear a mask anyway. 0.99

02:47:00.000 The CDC is saying that it's...

02:47:02.000 What are they doing about their recommendations for masks?

02:47:05.000 Anyway, Sean Baker, who's the guy who's a doctor, who's an orthopedic surgeon, who's... 0.99

02:47:11.000 He's one of these proponents of the carnivore diet, so a lot of his posts are very macho and this kind of shit. 0.99

02:47:17.000 So he has Joe Biden... 1.00

02:47:19.000 Eat me, fuck chicks! 1.00

02:47:20.000 Go to Sean Baker's Instagram, please. 1.00

02:47:24.000 He has a photo of Joe Biden's tweet saying that if you are vaccinated, you can go outside with no mask.

02:47:33.000 That's what I'm saying, yeah.

02:47:34.000 And he writes underneath it, our ancestors used to hunt woolly mammoths. 1.00

02:47:43.000 With their fucking hands. 1.00

02:47:45.000 There it is right there. 1.00

02:47:47.000 There was a time when humans hunted mammoths.

02:47:49.000 Yeah, it's insane.

02:47:50.000 Fully vaccinated people can go outdoors without a mask by the government. 1.00

02:47:55.000 By the way, if I see you in your car alone wearing a mask, you deserve to die. 1.00

02:48:01.000 How about gloves on? 1.00

02:48:01.000 What is wrong with you? 1.00

02:48:02.000 Mask with gloves on.

02:48:03.000 Dude, I'm precautionary and safe. 1.00

02:48:05.000 I told you, I got the fucking vax. 1.00

02:48:06.000 I'm going to fucking get the vax. 1.00

02:48:07.000 I want to be safe and do the right thing. 0.99

02:48:09.000 You got the vax after you got the vid.

02:48:11.000 100%.

02:48:11.000 I got COVID and I got the vax.

02:48:12.000 I'm doubling down.

02:48:13.000 But I just, in my opinion...

02:48:17.000 The logic loss is weird.

02:48:19.000 I run in my neighborhood, and I've said this before, people sometimes do this thing to me. 0.99

02:48:23.000 I've gotten this, like a fuck you because I'm not wearing a mask. 0.99

02:48:26.000 I'm running outside. 1.00

02:48:28.000 My neighborhood, I'm not saying where I live, but no one is fucking near me, dude. 0.94

02:48:33.000 I'm running outside by myself. 0.97

02:48:35.000 But if you don't have a mask on, they'll yell at you. 1.00

02:48:37.000 Sometimes I get a few people that give me looks and you're like, are you out of your fucking mind? 0.99

02:48:41.000 This isn't contagion, dude. 0.99

02:48:42.000 You can't throw it through the sky to people.

02:48:45.000 Exactly.

02:48:45.000 Like, I have to be close to you all the time with spit, transfer.

02:48:50.000 By the way, you know what my theory was? 1.00

02:48:51.000 Young kids were fucking. 0.99

02:48:54.000 You know why Corona was going around heavily? 1.00

02:48:55.000 I think because young people were fucking. 1.00

02:48:58.000 They weren't stopping. 1.00

02:48:58.000 Well, you lock them in doors. 1.00

02:49:00.000 They're fucking. 1.00

02:49:00.000 But I'm saying, it's spreading. 1.00

02:49:01.000 No, no, I'm saying people that are single were still hooking up. 0.98

02:49:04.000 This idea that people weren't going out and fucking and hooking up. 0.98

02:49:07.000 They were. 0.99

02:49:08.000 It's not that you bumped into someone at a grocery store. 1.00

02:49:10.000 It's that people were out fucking. 1.00

02:49:11.000 Wow. 1.00

02:49:12.000 That's what I think.

02:49:13.000 Maybe.

02:49:13.000 People were out.

02:49:13.000 Jamie was out fucking.

02:49:15.000 That's how he got it. 1.00

02:49:16.000 How did you get it, Jamie, if you weren't out fucking? 0.99

02:49:18.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:49:18.000 Come on, man. 1.00

02:49:19.000 Don't blow up a spot. 1.00

02:49:20.000 No, I'm gonna fucking atom bomb your shit. 1.00

02:49:22.000 How did you get it, Jay? 1.00

02:49:23.000 I have no idea.

02:49:24.000 Well, for sure, people got it. 1.00

02:49:25.000 He was out fucking. 1.00

02:49:26.000 Look at him smiling. 1.00

02:49:27.000 Trying to feed their families.

02:49:28.000 Andrew Santino just working somewhere on top of each other.

02:49:31.000 Yeah, that's the most people.

02:49:33.000 Stacked in a warehouse somewhere. 1.00

02:49:34.000 But Jamie got it from fucking. 1.00

02:49:36.000 Look at him smirking. 0.99

02:49:38.000 Speaking of which, I'm not going to let that go that he got you the Tesla and you lied to me earlier in the show. 0.98

02:49:42.000 I'm not going to fucking let that go, Jamie. 0.97

02:49:43.000 No way. 0.99

02:49:44.000 He didn't lie.

02:49:45.000 He just didn't tell you.

02:49:46.000 He didn't ask.

02:49:47.000 He didn't say.

02:49:48.000 He said, what kind did you get?

02:49:50.000 I said, we got the Model X. I said, you bought the Model X, huh?

02:49:53.000 No, you said, what kind did you get? 0.99

02:49:54.000 Liar. 0.96

02:49:55.000 I said, we got the Model X. Don't do this in front of Joe just because Papa Joe is here. 0.99

02:49:57.000 Don't do that.

02:49:58.000 Don't do that in front of Joe, Jamie.

02:50:00.000 You know better.

02:50:00.000 Oh!

02:50:02.000 Also, we gotta have, Jamie, you and I gotta have our hoop game.

02:50:04.000 That's why I said, where's the hoop?

02:50:05.000 Oh yeah, a three-point shootout.

02:50:06.000 Don't do it, Tom Segura, and break your arm and leg, please.

02:50:08.000 I'm not that guy.

02:50:09.000 You don't, how much more?

02:50:10.000 Look, hey, athletically, don't compare me to Tom Segura, okay?

02:50:13.000 What if Tom Segura heals up and beats you in a one-on-one?

02:50:16.000 In what?

02:50:17.000 Put some money on it, and I guarantee you that's not gonna happen.

02:50:19.000 There's no chance. 0.99

02:50:19.000 How much time do you give him to recover from his fucking catastrophic injuries? 0.99

02:50:22.000 Whatever he needs. 1.00

02:50:23.000 He needs a couple of years.

02:50:24.000 I'm gonna hit him one-on-one.

02:50:26.000 I'm easily gonna beat, I love Tom. 0.96

02:50:28.000 I'm gonna beat him one-on-one.

02:50:30.000 Horse is a tricky game.

02:50:31.000 He knows. 0.99

02:50:32.000 Because honestly, hey, Joe, that's like saying, can anybody hit, anybody can hit some fucking really good accidental shots. 0.95

02:50:39.000 One-on-one is way more of a skill set. 0.96

02:50:42.000 Right, though?

02:50:43.000 People could beat you in a horse that you're better than, it's just you missed the jump shot that they made.

02:50:48.000 Or a trick shot that they made.

02:50:50.000 That's like trick shot competition.

02:50:51.000 That's not fair.

02:50:53.000 Someone sounds scared.

02:50:55.000 Does he sound scared?

02:50:56.000 No, but he knows.

02:50:57.000 Go ahead and say it.

02:50:58.000 Say the truth.

02:50:58.000 You know that...

02:50:59.000 Jamie, don't you feel like you could beat Santino in a horse?

02:51:02.000 Maybe.

02:51:04.000 No one plays horse.

02:51:05.000 See, that's what I'm saying.

02:51:06.000 I don't want to play him in horse.

02:51:08.000 I play with my kids.

02:51:09.000 They love horse.

02:51:11.000 I give them extra letters sometimes.

02:51:13.000 Just for free?

02:51:14.000 You get angry.

02:51:15.000 Give them a couple of R's and H's?

02:51:16.000 Give them a couple of extra ones.

02:51:17.000 You got an H. Back it up a little.

02:51:18.000 Well, I mean, so to be fair in this, Tom and Bert couldn't win two-on-one against someone in the day that they were playing.

02:51:24.000 Against T-Jazz. 0.97

02:51:24.000 Oh, but that dude, Jazz? 0.97

02:51:25.000 That guy is fucking legit, though. 0.99

02:51:27.000 And look how fat Bert is. 0.99

02:51:28.000 Look at that. 0.99

02:51:29.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00

02:51:30.000 Burt looks like a gnome with that fucking beanie on inside. 1.00

02:51:32.000 What is he doing? 1.00

02:51:32.000 That dude is a really good basketball player, too. 1.00

02:51:35.000 He's legit.

02:51:35.000 He's hilarious on YouTube.

02:51:36.000 Yeah, he's legit.

02:51:37.000 When he makes fun of people, dunks on him.

02:51:39.000 Oh, they get mad at him.

02:51:40.000 They get actually upset.

02:51:42.000 Bert and Tom did?

02:51:43.000 No, no, no, no.

02:51:43.000 The people that he beats.

02:51:44.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:51:46.000 They get pissed off.

02:51:46.000 You know why?

02:51:47.000 They get really mad. 1.00

02:51:47.000 Because some fucking, some little skinny, tiny white dude comes in and shits on everybody. 1.00

02:51:51.000 With some silly hair. 1.00

02:51:52.000 Yeah, and they get this goofy-ass white dude out of here. 1.00

02:51:54.000 He's goofy. 0.99

02:51:55.000 He's good. 0.95

02:51:55.000 No, he's legit. 0.95

02:51:56.000 He's very good.

02:51:57.000 He's very good.

02:51:57.000 It's funny to watch people think he's not good and watch him school them.

02:52:02.000 Shit on them. 1.00

02:52:02.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:52:03.000 Do you see the look on their face when they're realizing they're getting humiliated in front of their friends and it's going to be on YouTube and then they really panic?

02:52:09.000 Well, the professor.

02:52:10.000 You know him.

02:52:11.000 The professor.

02:52:12.000 Do you know this kid?

02:52:12.000 No.

02:52:13.000 There used to be a thing called the And One Mixtape.

02:52:15.000 And One, the old basketball company.

02:52:17.000 They made shoes and shorts and clothes.

02:52:19.000 They were, at the time, what was that?

02:52:21.000 What year was that?

02:52:22.000 The early 2000s? 0.99

02:52:23.000 I mean, it was fucking huge. 0.97

02:52:24.000 And they did live events. 0.98

02:52:25.000 I mean, these guys were celebrities.

02:52:26.000 And it was like the Harlem Globetrotters of our generation. 0.98

02:52:29.000 In the sense that they would fucking shake up people. 0.78

02:52:31.000 He actually just did what we're talking about right now.

02:52:32.000 He put those up two days ago.

02:52:34.000 He did Mike Blythe.

02:52:36.000 He dorked out. 1.00

02:52:37.000 This kid is a fucking, he is legit. 1.00

02:52:39.000 He is legit. 1.00

02:52:40.000 And he shows up.

02:52:41.000 Shows up with a backpack on.

02:52:43.000 He played basketball?

02:52:44.000 Yeah.

02:52:44.000 Well, he's playing it up a little bit too much.

02:52:46.000 But yes, then when he shows up, he shows out. 1.00

02:52:50.000 Look, he'll just shit on people. 1.00

02:52:51.000 Whoop! 1.00

02:52:52.000 He's legit.

02:52:54.000 Oh, that's hilarious, and he's doing all this with a backpack on.

02:52:57.000 Yeah, he'll cross over people with a backpack.

02:52:59.000 And over the last 15 years or so, he's gotten really famous in the basketball world.

02:53:04.000 So they know who he is if he shows up on a court.

02:53:06.000 Oh, 100%.

02:53:06.000 Look at that pass.

02:53:08.000 Wow, he's really good.

02:53:10.000 Oh, he's so good.

02:53:11.000 Nerd breaks ankles and exposes hoopers in the hood. 1.00

02:53:14.000 Right, that's a YouTube clickbait bullshit. 0.99

02:53:16.000 But the truth is, he's actually unbelievably talented. 0.99

02:53:19.000 Like this.

02:53:19.000 Watch him cross this dude.

02:53:21.000 Oh, right through your fucking legs. 1.00

02:53:22.000 Made him fall. 1.00

02:53:24.000 And then he hits the fucking three. 1.00

02:53:27.000 Look at his face, like, what the fuck just happened? 1.00

02:53:30.000 Yeah, the professor's legit, man. 0.99

02:53:31.000 This kid is fucking awesome. 1.00

02:53:32.000 I love watching this shit. 1.00

02:53:33.000 There's an interesting, like, culture of these guys who pretend to not be good and then film things on YouTube. 1.00

02:53:41.000 Shitting on people. 0.99

02:53:41.000 You know? 0.99

02:53:42.000 Well, just that kind of thing.

02:53:43.000 Well, because you know what? 1.00

02:53:44.000 For years, I guarantee you, he would show up to courts and be like, get this fucking skinny-ass white bitch out of here. 1.00

02:53:49.000 And he would show up, so he's like, oh, I'll play into that. 1.00

02:53:51.000 That's what White Men Can't Jump is. 0.99

02:53:52.000 Yeah, 100%. 0.92

02:53:53.000 That's right.

02:53:54.000 That's the whole movie.

02:53:55.000 By the way, they're trying to remake that movie right now.

02:53:58.000 Don't do that. 1.00

02:53:59.000 Please leave this shit alone. 1.00

02:54:00.000 Can we leave these fucking things alone? 1.00

02:54:02.000 Or make it again with Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson and have them be old men. 1.00

02:54:08.000 By the way, Joe, you're writing the Hollywood movie.

02:54:12.000 What they do is they go, they're the dads and they're kids.

02:54:17.000 That's what they do.

02:54:17.000 Michael B. Jordan.

02:54:18.000 I don't like that.

02:54:19.000 No, no, no.

02:54:19.000 That's the problem.

02:54:21.000 Hollywood fucks it up. 0.99

02:54:22.000 You want to see these old dudes with bad hips trying to play basketball and hustling other old dudes and have some weird fucking dynamic play out where they didn't have a good relationship with their wife, but they really do love her. 0.99

02:54:34.000 They're trying to get her back. 0.97

02:54:35.000 She's got to get on Jeopardy. 0.61

02:54:37.000 That was the best, right?

02:54:38.000 What is a quince?

02:54:40.000 I love when she was studying.

02:54:41.000 When Rosie Perez was studying for Jeopardy. 0.99

02:54:43.000 That's right.

02:54:44.000 It was so funny.

02:54:46.000 That's where her goal was to get on Jeopardy to win. 1.00

02:54:48.000 She's a giant boxing fan. 0.79

02:54:50.000 Rosie Perez?

02:54:51.000 Huge.

02:54:52.000 Really?

02:54:52.000 Can comment on boxing.

02:54:55.000 She's educated.

02:54:56.000 Did she ever date a boxer?

02:54:57.000 I don't know.

02:54:58.000 I have to go right to dating.

02:55:00.000 She can't just be a woman who likes boxing. 1.00

02:55:02.000 Joe, don't fucking gaslight me. 1.00

02:55:05.000 Did she know a guy who knows how to drive a car? 1.00

02:55:07.000 How'd she learn how to drive a car? 0.85

02:55:08.000 How many women love boxing like that? 1.00

02:55:10.000 Get real.

02:55:10.000 Very few.

02:55:11.000 How Rosie Perez became the first lady of boxing. 0.99

02:55:14.000 See, that's a sexist fucking headline, by the way. 0.99

02:55:17.000 Why'd she have to be the first lady? 1.00

02:55:18.000 Why can't she be the president of boxing? 1.00

02:55:20.000 Are you assuming a woman can? 1.00

02:55:21.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:55:22.000 See?

02:55:23.000 You can bury anybody with fucking anything. 1.00

02:55:25.000 You definitely can bury anybody with anything. 1.00

02:55:26.000 Yeah, you can just make it up.

02:55:28.000 You go, why did you say it that way?

02:55:29.000 You're like, oh God.

02:55:30.000 Welcome to my world.

02:55:31.000 That's what they do with me.

02:55:32.000 That's clickbait.

02:55:33.000 Yeah, but you know what?

02:55:34.000 You get what you get, Joe.

02:55:35.000 I get what I deserve.

02:55:36.000 You get what you deserve.

02:55:37.000 I get what I deserve.

02:55:38.000 You're too big.

02:55:39.000 You're too popular.

02:55:40.000 You're too well off.

02:55:42.000 I agree.

02:55:42.000 That's what you get.

02:55:43.000 Yeah, listen, I'm not complaining about it.

02:55:45.000 Retract everything you've ever said.

02:55:46.000 Say it right now.

02:55:47.000 I retract everything I've ever said, even the good stuff.

02:55:49.000 But think about what I said at the beginning of the show where we were talking about all this recent controversy.

02:55:53.000 I'm like, I get it.

02:55:54.000 I would do the same thing.

02:55:55.000 I know what you're doing.

02:55:56.000 Right.

02:55:56.000 It makes sense.

02:55:57.000 Right.

02:55:57.000 I don't hate people for doing their jobs.

02:56:00.000 It's like, that's what you're doing.

02:56:01.000 It's a part of the game.

02:56:02.000 It's a part of the game.

02:56:03.000 But you're also willing to admit when you say something that's incorrect in your opinion.

02:56:07.000 Like, even if you think...

02:56:08.000 The problem is...

02:56:11.000 You're willing to say, oh, I didn't, I was wrong, or, nah, maybe I didn't, maybe I wasn't correctly informed.

02:56:17.000 The issue is nobody wants to do that anymore.

02:56:19.000 Nobody wants to say, hey, I guess I was fucking wrong. 0.99

02:56:22.000 I guess I was fucked up. 0.97

02:56:22.000 There's a little bit of that, but there's also an issue in the art form itself, because the art form seems permanent, but it's transient. 0.97

02:56:28.000 Right?

02:56:28.000 So things are recorded and they're put into like a Spotify file and episode X number, whatever the fuck it is, from April of 2021. It seems like a permanent thing, but it's really a transient conversation that gets recorded.

02:56:44.000 It's a moment in time.

02:56:45.000 It is a moment in time.

02:56:46.000 And these things that they take out, that's what's fascinating to me as an observer.

02:56:51.000 Not just the person who's embroiled in the controversy and the target of people's hatred and anger when something like this goes down.

02:57:00.000 What's fascinating to me is that it really is just this transient moment, but it's recorded.

02:57:07.000 So then you have to think.

02:57:08.000 Like, okay, I have to be real careful with what I say.

02:57:12.000 Yeah. 0.92

02:57:12.000 Because even though I'm talking shit off the top of my head, it's going to be recorded, and people are going to take it and put it in print as if this is a well-thought-out and well-constructed sentence. 0.92

02:57:22.000 Well, it's clearly not. 0.98

02:57:23.000 Right. 0.98

02:57:23.000 Like, none of the shit I say on this is really well-thought-out or constructed, unless it is. 0.98

02:57:28.000 Unless it's something that's, like, important that I have to talk about. 0.96

02:57:30.000 Well, it's meaningful to you.

02:57:31.000 Sometimes.

02:57:32.000 Sometimes uneven.

02:57:33.000 You're freestyling and making an album.

02:57:35.000 That's...

02:57:35.000 I don't even know what I'm about to say right now.

02:57:37.000 How about that?

02:57:37.000 I don't know what the next word is going to be, right?

02:57:39.000 Neither do you.

02:57:40.000 That's part of the point.

02:57:41.000 It's like when you see it written down, you're like, oh, he said this.

02:57:44.000 If someone says to me, well, that doesn't make sense because of X, I'll go, oh, okay.

02:57:50.000 I'm not married to my ideas.

02:57:52.000 If I don't agree with you, I'll debate them, I'll argue them, but if you show me that something I said is either incorrect or misinformed, I'm the first person.

02:58:02.000 That's not mine.

02:58:03.000 This is just an idea.

02:58:06.000 It's not me.

02:58:07.000 It might be mine in the sense that I adopted it and expressed it, but if so, I don't take it personally.

02:58:13.000 I'm not personally involved in that idea.

02:58:15.000 If I'm wrong, I'll tell you I'm wrong.

02:58:18.000 I think that one of the problems with podcasting is not everybody does it this way, too.

02:58:25.000 Some people, they sit down and they plan their podcasts out and they have these musical interludes and background music and it's scripted.

02:58:34.000 Right.

02:58:34.000 This is very different than that.

02:58:35.000 Off the cuff. 0.99

02:58:36.000 This is shit talking. 1.00

02:58:37.000 Right. 1.00

02:58:38.000 It's odd that this is what resonates.

02:58:41.000 That's what's odd.

02:58:42.000 Because this is what happens when people are at home. 1.00

02:58:44.000 When they're talking shit. 1.00

02:58:45.000 This is what people do. 1.00

02:58:46.000 And if they really know that you actually do just have a fucking voice. 1.00

02:58:50.000 You don't have an on-air voice or an off- you say stupid shit and then you say whoops. 1.00

02:58:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:58:56.000 That's...

02:58:56.000 That's what we do.

02:58:57.000 But there's a thing to that.

02:58:58.000 There's a thing to that where you can't necessarily recreate it.

02:59:02.000 And some people get angry.

02:59:03.000 They get angry that they can't do it.

02:59:06.000 They get angry that their job doesn't allow that kind of thinking and talking.

02:59:10.000 Freedom, right.

02:59:10.000 Yeah.

02:59:11.000 Freedom is the thing. 1.00

02:59:11.000 You can't talk shit. 1.00

02:59:12.000 No. 1.00

02:59:12.000 If your job doesn't allow any semblance of freedom, it's easy to get angry at freedom. 1.00

02:59:16.000 Yes.

02:59:16.000 Ironically enough, we're a country that's built on the idea that we should all be free, yet...

02:59:21.000 We're scared of how free you can be.

02:59:24.000 That's a weird thing.

02:59:25.000 Well, we also don't like when other people are free and we're not.

02:59:27.000 Right.

02:59:27.000 That's very frustrating.

02:59:28.000 Right. 0.99

02:59:29.000 Because everybody really should be free to talk shit. 0.99

02:59:31.000 But you can't. 1.00

02:59:31.000 And talking shit for men, here's the thing. 1.00

02:59:34.000 I think the last time they did an analysis of my audience, it was 84% men. 1.00

02:59:41.000 I just did it today.

02:59:41.000 It was 96.4.

02:59:43.000 It's pretty nuts.

02:59:44.000 It's all right.

02:59:44.000 Yeah.

02:59:45.000 Men like talking shit. 1.00

02:59:48.000 We like talking shit, and we don't always mean what we say. 1.00

02:59:50.000 But women like talking shit, too. 1.00

02:59:51.000 They do, but they talk shit in a mean way. 1.00

02:59:53.000 Yeah, they're mean. 1.00

02:59:54.000 They're like reputation destroyers. 1.00

02:59:56.000 Fucking mean! 1.00

02:59:57.000 They'll talk some shit about you and say some shit that cuts to your core. 1.00

03:00:00.000 Guys are like, look at this dumb fucking shirt! 1.00

03:00:02.000 Yeah, we just like talking basic caveman shit. 1.00

03:00:07.000 Women fake orgasms and then tell their friends. 1.00

03:00:09.000 Yeah, I faked it. 1.00

03:00:10.000 That guy sucked. 1.00

03:00:11.000 I faked it. 1.00

03:00:12.000 They fake it. 1.00

03:00:13.000 Oh yeah, you dick so big, baby. 1.00

03:00:14.000 You know what? 1.00

03:00:15.000 You know what?

03:00:15.000 Let's take it back, Joe.

03:00:16.000 Guys are going to start faking orgasms. 0.99

03:00:18.000 We're faking it on you girls. 0.99

03:00:20.000 We're faking it.

03:00:21.000 Why would we do that? 0.96

03:00:22.000 That's an antithesis of everything that means gay man. 1.00

03:00:23.000 We need the power, Joe. 0.95

03:00:25.000 We need the power back.

03:00:25.000 That's not how you get the bad.

03:00:26.000 We need to fake it and get the power.

03:00:27.000 That's not how you get the power.

03:00:28.000 How do you get the power?

03:00:30.000 I don't know. 0.98

03:00:30.000 Yeah, we don't fucking know. 0.98

03:00:32.000 I think you get the power by not thinking about how you get the power. 0.96

03:00:35.000 And then it just happens?

03:00:36.000 Yeah, because I think if you think about, you gotta think about what you're doing and just do what you're doing.

03:00:40.000 I think if you think about how I get the power, then it's like a slippery fish that you can't quite grab.

03:00:45.000 You come real close.

03:00:47.000 Right.

03:00:47.000 You never quite get it.

03:00:48.000 It's never gonna happen.

03:00:49.000 Even if you do get it, they'll take it away from you.

03:00:52.000 Just slip away.

03:00:52.000 Well, somebody else wants to eat that fish.

03:00:54.000 Slip away.

03:00:55.000 Someone with talons will grab your fish. 1.00

03:00:58.000 Slip away? 1.00

03:00:59.000 Some raptor motherfucker. 1.00

03:01:02.000 Slip away! 1.00

03:01:03.000 That's one of my favorite Clarence Carter songs.

03:01:05.000 By the way, shout out to Clarence Carter and Warren Zevon that we talked about earlier. 0.99

03:01:08.000 Fuck, that album is so good. 0.98

03:01:11.000 You know what my favorite Warren Zevon song is? 1.00

03:01:13.000 What?

03:01:13.000 Not Werewolves.

03:01:17.000 Rolling the Headless.

03:01:18.000 Oh, that's a good song, man.

03:01:20.000 The full title is the Thompson Gunner, right?

03:01:23.000 Rolling the Headless Thompson Gunner?

03:01:25.000 Is that what it is?

03:01:26.000 Tell me I'm wrong.

03:01:27.000 Rolling the Headless Thompson Gunner.

03:01:30.000 By the way, the story that he writes in that?

03:01:32.000 Let me see if you can pull up that album.

03:01:35.000 There was a bunch of great songs in that album.

03:01:37.000 I'm not going to remember unless I see the track list.

03:01:39.000 I can tell you right now.

03:01:40.000 Hold on.

03:01:41.000 I remember when he was on Letterman, when he was dying of lung cancer.

03:01:44.000 Dude, I was just going to say, you want to cry?

03:01:46.000 It makes me cry when he says to Dave, we've been friends for a long time.

03:01:51.000 And he's like, this might be the last time you've seen me doing this show.

03:01:55.000 So, you know, I just want to play a couple.

03:01:58.000 And you can feel their friendship superseded the show.

03:02:01.000 Dude, the show didn't even exist.

03:02:02.000 It was almost like the cameras were gone, the audience was gone.

03:02:04.000 He was playing for Dave because they had been longtime friends. 0.96

03:02:08.000 There was something so fucking deep about that. 0.96

03:02:10.000 If anybody wants to fucking have an emotional afternoon, go watch him on Letterman with his final appearance. 0.99

03:02:15.000 How crazy was that? 0.98

03:02:16.000 By the way, that album.

03:02:17.000 By the way, the name of the album is what?

03:02:19.000 You wanted to guess.

03:02:21.000 Hold on, hold on.

03:02:23.000 Because it's something reminiscent of knowing it's his last time on earth.

03:02:26.000 The name of the album is almost like This Is My Goodbye.

03:02:29.000 It's like...

03:02:29.000 That's the last one?

03:02:30.000 It's the name of the track, also.

03:02:32.000 Yeah, it is the name of the song.

03:02:34.000 It's, uh... 1.00

03:02:35.000 Fuck off, dude. 1.00

03:02:36.000 Warren Zebuck fans right now, they're like, God damn it. 1.00

03:02:40.000 Excitable Boy. 0.99

03:02:41.000 Oh! 0.60

03:02:42.000 That was a great one. 1.00

03:02:44.000 And he talks to fucking... 0.99

03:02:45.000 By the way, Vera Cruz is one of my favorite songs. 1.00

03:02:47.000 By far, one of the best ones on the album.

03:02:50.000 He talks to Album.

03:02:51.000 He's just an excitable boy.

03:02:53.000 He talks to Letterman about saying that it was like return to his childhood because he was done developing as a man. 0.99

03:03:02.000 Oh, man, that interview fucking gets me every time. 0.96

03:03:05.000 Yeah, because, you know, I mean, he died shortly after, right? 0.99

03:03:08.000 It was like him saying goodbye.

03:03:10.000 Yeah, this is great, dude.

03:03:13.000 He talks about cancer on a comedy show and he still gets laughs, dude.

03:03:17.000 He talks about having terminal cancer.

03:03:18.000 Do you watch Letterman's Netflix show?

03:03:24.000 I tried.

03:03:25.000 No.

03:03:26.000 No, I'm not going to lie to you.

03:03:27.000 I tried and then my wife and I made it through like five minutes apiece.

03:03:30.000 What's wrong with it?

03:03:35.000 It's like why I didn't want to watch Michael Jordan play for the Wizards.

03:03:38.000 Do you know what I mean?

03:03:39.000 I was like, I kind of want to see you come back, dude.

03:03:42.000 Why are you coming back?

03:03:43.000 I loved you.

03:03:45.000 Letterman was my, like Carson, I used to sneak out of my crib as a kid and watch Carson.

03:03:49.000 My mom would catch me eating food watching Carson.

03:03:51.000 I used to love sneaking out of my room. 0.99

03:03:53.000 And turn on the TV, the fucking old knob TV. I remember sitting in our apartment staring at the television watching Carson. 0.98

03:04:00.000 I was obsessed with this rhythm that happened.

03:04:02.000 And then Letterman to me was like Carson that I loved when I was a kid.

03:04:06.000 Something about it clicked for me, humor-wise and rhythm-wise.

03:04:10.000 When he came back and did the Netflix show, it felt like, for lack of a better way, it felt like a guy taking a big check from a thing to do the thing that he was already done doing.

03:04:20.000 That's all.

03:04:21.000 It was like, oh, you already did this. 0.98

03:04:23.000 You didn't fucking, you don't need to do this anymore. 0.94

03:04:24.000 Did it feel weird because it was on Netflix? 0.99

03:04:27.000 Yes.

03:04:28.000 The stage was too big.

03:04:29.000 Why am I in a theater?

03:04:30.000 It should have been in a cool black box room.

03:04:33.000 Right?

03:04:33.000 It should have been in a black box room.

03:04:34.000 Just him and the person.

03:04:36.000 Yeah.

03:04:37.000 Yeah.

03:04:38.000 Maybe, hey, maybe a small audience, however, but...

03:04:41.000 The audience is weird.

03:04:42.000 Just make it intimate, because I wanted to feel that you guys were for each other, not for...

03:04:46.000 Look, you and I know that people are...

03:04:48.000 Hundreds, thousands, millions of people can see this thing.

03:04:52.000 But when it's physical and you can feel that people are watching it, like he feels live, the guests know they're live with an audience.

03:04:58.000 You react different to a live audience.

03:05:00.000 Yeah, for sure. 1.00

03:05:00.000 We do different shit. 1.00

03:05:01.000 So I just wish it was more contained and more beautiful and small. 0.98

03:05:06.000 It's why Jerry got it right with Comedians in Cars, truly. 0.99

03:05:09.000 Because he was like, me and you will go out and have a coffee and sit in the car and fuck around. 0.99

03:05:12.000 I like that. 0.99

03:05:13.000 It made sense.

03:05:14.000 Well, it's also Jerry has a real legitimate love of cars.

03:05:19.000 Comedy and cars are the only two things he cares about.

03:05:21.000 Yeah, so when you see him driving those cars and talking about the amount of cylinders and the horsepower.

03:05:27.000 The passion.

03:05:27.000 Yeah, it's like Jay Leno.

03:05:29.000 Same thing.

03:05:29.000 Jay Leno does his best work on Jay Leno's garage.

03:05:33.000 His garage is fucking great. 0.98

03:05:34.000 It's not a garage. 1.00

03:05:36.000 It's many garages.

03:05:37.000 Jay Leno's garage.

03:05:38.000 It's great.

03:05:39.000 His garage, you should go, because it's bonkers.

03:05:41.000 Text him for me, because I don't know. 0.99

03:05:43.000 You walk around and you're like, what in the fuck is this place? 0.99

03:05:46.000 It's so crazy. 1.00

03:05:47.000 He has hundreds of cars. 0.99

03:05:49.000 And he has cars that are like, made it, they're like jet engines and steam engines and tractor wheels and shit. 1.00

03:05:55.000 Like, they're nuts. 0.99

03:05:56.000 He just loves them all.

03:05:58.000 He used to go to Bob's Big Boy on Ventura up by the studio for the car shows.

03:06:03.000 Yeah, they had a thing.

03:06:04.000 They do this thing in Southern California.

03:06:05.000 Well, they do it, I think, in a lot of places.

03:06:07.000 Cars and coffee.

03:06:08.000 Yeah.

03:06:08.000 And the guys come down like their old Nova and the guys look at it.

03:06:13.000 Chevelle and the shit. 0.99

03:06:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

03:06:14.000 And even new cars, like newer, weirder cars.

03:06:17.000 Like Challengers and Chargers.

03:06:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

03:06:21.000 For real.

03:06:21.000 I know.

03:06:22.000 People bring those.

03:06:23.000 Of course.

03:06:23.000 But it's a thing where car guys, they get to say, how long have you been working on this?

03:06:29.000 What do you got going on? 0.98

03:06:30.000 And they'll show you all the weird shit they're doing with their cars. 0.90

03:06:32.000 It's not even cars that people necessarily drive. 0.97

03:06:35.000 It's cars that people just drive.

03:06:36.000 Show cars.

03:06:37.000 Yeah, they're having fun with it.

03:06:38.000 It's like other...

03:06:40.000 It's like a lot of different things that people get into that only other people that are into that thing would appreciate.

03:06:46.000 Correct. 0.98

03:06:46.000 And then other people on the outside are like, why the fuck do you waste your- my neighbor hand builds- I mean, he hand builds cars, and he hand builds boats, and he's a fucking impressive dude. 0.98

03:06:54.000 This dude, this old British dude, he's the best. 0.99

03:06:57.000 And I'll come home sometimes, and he'll be like, he's an old British guy, he's like, pop over for a drink.

03:07:01.000 And I'm like, I can't, dude, I gotta, and he's like, it's one drink.

03:07:05.000 And I'm like, but it's never, and he's like, come on. 0.95

03:07:09.000 Dude, we'll go in the backyard, we'll be fucking tanked. 0.61

03:07:12.000 It'll be nine o'clock, I'll have him drinking for fucking four hours with him, but he'll talk to me about hand-rebuilding cars, and... 0.94

03:07:18.000 He knows that I'm not smart enough to understand it, but he'll build, you know, he rebuilt an old Rolls Royce, an MG. Wow. 0.94

03:07:27.000 By hand.

03:07:27.000 Completely by hand.

03:07:28.000 My uncle had an MG with a wooden frame.

03:07:30.000 So sexy.

03:07:31.000 MGs are such cool old school cars.

03:07:34.000 It's an old car.

03:07:35.000 The door felt like it was made out of nothing.

03:07:37.000 It's like paper.

03:07:39.000 It was a convertible, a little like Roadster.

03:07:41.000 It's this old MG. Because MGs used to still have, for the long time, they had still kit cars that you could buy and build completely from scratch.

03:07:48.000 With a lot of cars, companies, you know, they don't... 0.98

03:07:51.000 They don't let you build a fucking Corvette. 0.99

03:07:53.000 Corvette, yeah. 1.00

03:07:54.000 They're like, we don't trust you.

03:07:56.000 Can you imagine?

03:07:56.000 They give you a kit to build a Corvette.

03:07:58.000 Here, you could buy it for this amount of money, or you could buy it for half that price and you put it together yourself. 0.96

03:08:03.000 Every Joe Schmoe is like, I'll fucking do it. 0.95

03:08:06.000 You don't think I know how to build a car, dude? 0.98

03:08:09.000 Imagine if they did that, but they had a legitimate Chevrolet inspector come to your house and make sure you did it.

03:08:15.000 Before you drive I have to come see yeah before they give you the key right they give you everything but but the key the key that's actually really smart that's actually a great bit and they film it they're like they show you we it'd be a great show to show up to a kid car guy's house right and before you get the key you have to prove that if passes inspection for the car we have to fucking make sure this thing doesn't fall apart when you hit the highway I think that'd be a great show It's not a bad idea.

03:08:38.000 I would love to see that.

03:08:39.000 Those shows are great.

03:08:40.000 I used to love those, like, overhauling.

03:08:43.000 Oh, yeah.

03:08:43.000 Those kind of shows.

03:08:44.000 My friend Bud used to produce those.

03:08:45.000 You know Chris Jacobs?

03:08:47.000 He's one of the guys that was on that.

03:08:48.000 Yeah.

03:08:49.000 He's a friend of mine.

03:08:49.000 Oh, I know that, dude.

03:08:50.000 He's fucking awesome. 0.92

03:08:50.000 I met that guy way back in the day. 0.92

03:08:52.000 CJ's great, man.

03:08:53.000 Yeah.

03:08:54.000 He's a car freak.

03:08:55.000 I mean, there's not a question about a car that he doesn't know the answer to.

03:08:58.000 Yeah.

03:08:58.000 It's, like, scary.

03:08:59.000 That show was a legit car freak's paradise.

03:09:02.000 Yeah.

03:09:02.000 Because they would take these old cars and fix them.

03:09:04.000 And make them look fucking awesome, dude. 0.78

03:09:06.000 Oh, man. 0.81

03:09:06.000 Yeah. 0.81

03:09:07.000 I love all those old car shows where they fix up cars.

03:09:10.000 I mean, there's still such a big market for that that will continue.

03:09:15.000 That's hard to die.

03:09:16.000 Even when cars go all electric and we all do this...

03:09:19.000 Elon thing that you guys are pushing.

03:09:22.000 Car people will always exist of the intensity of rebuilding. 1.00

03:09:27.000 Until kids come along. 0.95

03:09:28.000 These Uber kids today, they don't give a fuck about cars. 0.98

03:09:31.000 Well, I think some do. 0.98

03:09:32.000 It depends on where we are in the country.

03:09:34.000 I think it's way less.

03:09:35.000 I think it's going out like the game pool.

03:09:36.000 You think it's pooling cars are gone?

03:09:38.000 It's going out like bowling. 0.98

03:09:41.000 It's just no one gives a shit. 0.99

03:09:42.000 These kids are Ubering everywhere. 0.99

03:09:43.000 Yeah, I know.

03:09:44.000 It's sad.

03:09:45.000 Is it sad, though?

03:09:47.000 The only reason it's good for me is when I drink and get high.

03:09:49.000 Then I love Uber.

03:09:50.000 Oh yeah. 1.00

03:09:50.000 But when I'm not drunk and stoned, fuck I love driving. 1.00

03:09:53.000 I do too. 0.99

03:09:54.000 Rideshares are nice though. 0.99

03:09:55.000 It's nice that you could be somewhere and just like pull up your phone and- Convenience is fucking key. 0.97

03:09:59.000 It's amazing. 0.99

03:10:00.000 It's great.

03:10:01.000 But you know, you don't even know who that person is.

03:10:02.000 If you're a chick and you get in this guy's car- Well that's creepy.

03:10:05.000 Yeah, man. 0.99

03:10:06.000 By the way, have you seen how many fucking Uber drivers have gotten, like, beat up? 0.98

03:10:09.000 It's, like, becoming a new trend of, like, them filming. 0.99

03:10:12.000 That guy that got smoked in the face by that chick. 1.00

03:10:15.000 They were arguing. 1.00

03:10:15.000 He's like, get out of the fucking car. 1.00

03:10:16.000 She just fucking wrapped around and started punching him in the fucking head. 1.00

03:10:19.000 Yeah, because people get in these cars blacked out. 1.00

03:10:22.000 Yeah. 0.98

03:10:22.000 That's the biggest fear to me is like, as a driver, I would be nervous some blacked out dude's gonna get in and just cock me. 0.98

03:10:28.000 They should have breathalyzers for if you can get in my Uber. 0.99

03:10:31.000 Blow before you get in!

03:10:32.000 Let me see what you got there.

03:10:33.000 2.6! 1.00

03:10:34.000 Get the fuck outta here! 1.00

03:10:35.000 You're gonna die! 1.00

03:10:37.000 You're gonna die in my car! 1.00

03:10:39.000 Get the fuck out! 1.00

03:10:40.000 It's 0.8, you piece of shit! 1.00

03:10:42.000 But he's speaking eloquently. 1.00

03:10:43.000 He's like, sir, I just need to go to my home.

03:10:44.000 I just don't have a vehicle this evening.

03:10:45.000 I'm on amphetamines, and they're keeping the alcohol from hitting us.

03:10:49.000 He's like, sir, the cocaine is actually calming down the alcohol.

03:10:51.000 I'm not that drunk right now.

03:10:52.000 Everyone's fine.

03:10:53.000 Everyone's fine.

03:10:54.000 We're all fine. 0.99

03:10:57.000 Yeah, fucking, I just, the car thing will never die. 1.00

03:10:59.000 No. 0.99

03:11:00.000 But it is sad that it is, I think, well, you know, my old man worked for Turtle Wax for years, and people don't wash their cars anymore.

03:11:06.000 Nobody washes a car.

03:11:07.000 Why don't they wash their car?

03:11:08.000 I wash my car.

03:11:09.000 Yeah, you.

03:11:10.000 Because you have the time and the convenience.

03:11:12.000 Occasionally I wash my car.

03:11:12.000 You have the privilege, Joe.

03:11:13.000 I usually pay people to do it.

03:11:15.000 I'm going to be honest.

03:11:15.000 That's my point.

03:11:16.000 But I do have car wash materials in my garage.

03:11:19.000 Most Americans go to car washes now.

03:11:21.000 Nobody washes their car anymore.

03:11:22.000 Oh, you go to the drive-through one?

03:11:23.000 People go to, yeah.

03:11:24.000 I mean, I still wash my car, and I always get a comment from one of my neighbors.

03:11:27.000 I'm washing it sometimes.

03:11:28.000 I love it.

03:11:29.000 I love it.

03:11:31.000 But I get a comment from a neighbor always.

03:11:33.000 Come outside, I'd be like, Hey, you gonna do mine next?

03:11:35.000 I'm like...

03:11:36.000 No! 0.99

03:11:38.000 Fucking no! 0.99

03:11:39.000 You're so funny, Tommy! 0.99

03:11:41.000 I'm not washing your Chevy Malibu, Mike. 1.00

03:11:43.000 Just throw that through the fucking... 1.00

03:11:44.000 Yeah, got me. 1.00

03:11:45.000 Yeah, why even wash that piece of shit? 1.00

03:11:48.000 Yeah, I'm going to light it on fire. 1.00

03:11:49.000 I'll wash it up for you.

03:11:50.000 When you see people with gross cars and they just wash them, like, what are you doing?

03:11:54.000 So mean, Joe.

03:11:54.000 Why are you wasting your time?

03:11:55.000 Some people can't afford nice cars.

03:11:57.000 That's what I mean. 1.00

03:11:57.000 I mean, you have like a fucking shitbox. 1.00

03:12:00.000 Oh, you mean like, not the brand, you just mean it's a piece of shit. 1.00

03:12:03.000 It's a piece of shit. 1.00

03:12:03.000 Right, broken down. 1.00

03:12:04.000 Barely hanging on, all fucking bondoed up. 0.99

03:12:07.000 Don't wash it. 0.99

03:12:08.000 Primer everywhere.

03:12:09.000 Duct tape on the bumper.

03:12:10.000 Why are you washing that?

03:12:11.000 Just drive!

03:12:12.000 Drive till it's dead!

03:12:13.000 I had one of those before.

03:12:14.000 Just drive!

03:12:15.000 I had a bunch of them.

03:12:16.000 Hyundai Sonata, baby.

03:12:17.000 Oh, did you?

03:12:18.000 Had a busted up Hyundai Sonata.

03:12:19.000 You know what's interesting, man? 0.98

03:12:20.000 Hyundai has done a fucking fantastic job with his Genesis line. 0.97

03:12:24.000 Great car company. 0.99

03:12:24.000 They keep making them better and better and better. 0.99

03:12:26.000 Yeah.

03:12:27.000 They have this new Genesis coupe.

03:12:29.000 I think it might be either hybrid or it's electric.

03:12:32.000 I think it's a hybrid.

03:12:33.000 I looked at it, I was like, Jesus Christ, that's like one of the best looking cars you can buy.

03:12:37.000 Yeah, for a couple years, Eric Griffin only would drive the Genesis, and I was like, why do you like this?

03:12:40.000 I got in it, took a ride. 0.99

03:12:41.000 It's a fucking beautiful car. 0.99

03:12:44.000 Comparable to Lexus or Mercedes. 0.99

03:12:46.000 Mercedes is their competitor, yeah.

03:12:47.000 Interior, like everything is like top notch, but they'll sell it to you 10 grand less.

03:12:51.000 At least?

03:12:52.000 15 grand less, yeah.

03:12:53.000 The Mercedes tag is what's the- They're moving up though.

03:12:56.000 The Genesis G70. That's a nice one.

03:12:58.000 No, but there's a coupe.

03:12:58.000 There's a coupe.

03:12:59.000 Seems to have some other photos of that, though.

03:13:01.000 But that's not like that. 0.96

03:13:02.000 Goddamn, that looks good. 0.96

03:13:04.000 Look at that one. 1.00

03:13:04.000 That's a sexy fucking car. 1.00

03:13:06.000 If you told me that was an Audi or an Acura or a fucking BMW, I'd be like, I like it. 1.00

03:13:13.000 I kind of like it a lot better than some of the BMWs now. 0.98

03:13:16.000 Like the M4 and the M3. BMW fucked up on their front grille. 0.98

03:13:19.000 What did they do with that fucked up front grille? 0.99

03:13:21.000 That's it. 1.00

03:13:22.000 That's a bad bitch. 1.00

03:13:23.000 Look at that thing. 1.00

03:13:23.000 Genesis G80. Look how beautiful that is. 1.00

03:13:26.000 What do those go for, Jamie?

03:13:27.000 What does it say down below?

03:13:28.000 Very reasonable.

03:13:29.000 Like $65,000?

03:13:30.000 $47,000?

03:13:33.000 48. 48,000.

03:13:35.000 That's the SUV. That's the SUV, right.

03:13:37.000 That's what I just clicked on.

03:13:39.000 Oh, it is the same car.

03:13:40.000 That was the same car from the first photo?

03:13:41.000 No.

03:13:42.000 Really?

03:13:43.000 Go to the other photo.

03:13:44.000 So the G80 is a SUV? No.

03:13:47.000 Oh, that's a G70 and the G80 is...

03:13:49.000 Is that an SUV? That one.

03:13:51.000 That's not an SUV. Hey, it says G80. I clicked on...

03:13:55.000 Oh, GV80. Hey, Jamie.

03:13:57.000 You don't even read. 1.00

03:13:57.000 Watch the fucking attitude, dude. 1.00

03:13:59.000 Watch your goddamn attitude. 1.00

03:14:02.000 The G80 is that one. 1.00

03:14:03.000 Look how sick that back end looks.

03:14:05.000 300 horses, 300 horses, not bad.

03:14:06.000 That's terrible.

03:14:07.000 Yeah, not bad, not bad.

03:14:08.000 Makes me sad.

03:14:08.000 For that kind of car, it's not bad.

03:14:10.000 Now I want more money.

03:14:11.000 Yeah, I know, I know.

03:14:12.000 See, that's what I'm saying.

03:14:12.000 Yeah, just let me pay more.

03:14:14.000 Give me some real fucking horsepower. 0.99

03:14:16.000 So let me tell you who... 1.00

03:14:17.000 Let me tell you who fucked up. 1.00

03:14:18.000 BMW fucked up by changing the grill on those things. 1.00

03:14:20.000 They slipped up hard. 0.94

03:14:21.000 Slipped up so bad.

03:14:22.000 That M3 and M4. Look, dude, I have a 2005 M3. I'm a giant M3 fan.

03:14:28.000 Those are great cars.

03:14:29.000 I've had four M3s in my lifetime. 0.89

03:14:30.000 I love them.

03:14:31.000 I would never buy one of those.

03:14:33.000 The new one.

03:14:33.000 Yeah, look at that grill.

03:14:34.000 Yuck.

03:14:35.000 I say that, but if I drove it, I'd probably be like, okay, I'm all in.

03:14:38.000 I don't know.

03:14:39.000 I think AMG is still beating M right now.

03:14:41.000 Maybe it's like a grow on you thing.

03:14:43.000 Let me see some face.

03:14:44.000 I don't think so, man.

03:14:45.000 Let me see some more images of it.

03:14:46.000 Give me some images of it.

03:14:47.000 Go online.

03:14:48.000 No thanks.

03:14:50.000 I just don't like it, man.

03:14:51.000 Give me some images.

03:14:53.000 I can't believe they did that.

03:14:54.000 Why would they do that?

03:14:55.000 I'll tell you exactly why.

03:14:57.000 Because of the foreign market.

03:14:58.000 The Asian market loves that look.

03:15:00.000 They love that big grill look?

03:15:01.000 Super popular.

03:15:01.000 Yeah, it's super popular there.

03:15:02.000 It does way better there.

03:15:04.000 They sell way more cars than they do here.

03:15:05.000 Maybe it looks good in real life.

03:15:06.000 No, I disagree.

03:15:07.000 I've seen a few of them in LA and I do not like them.

03:15:09.000 In the left pictures, Jamie, the third one down.

03:15:11.000 Third one down.

03:15:13.000 That is a very ugly car to me. 1.00

03:15:16.000 You guys shit the bed. 1.00

03:15:17.000 That's the M5? No! 1.00

03:15:19.000 No, that's the three.

03:15:20.000 That's the three.

03:15:20.000 The four-door three.

03:15:21.000 Oh, God.

03:15:22.000 What's the M5 look like?

03:15:23.000 They didn't fuck that up though, right?

03:15:24.000 No, they did not yet because the body hasn't changed.

03:15:26.000 Let me see the M5. Give me the 2021 M5. So I went to a BMW dealership looking for a new M5. It's 2023 that they changed the M5, he said.

03:15:35.000 So they still have their old grill. 0.99

03:15:37.000 Don't fuck it up, BMW. It's such a sexy, that is such a sexy fucking car. 1.00

03:15:41.000 Go to that silver one in the middle. 1.00

03:15:43.000 Birdiful.

03:15:43.000 That one up there, Jamie, on the top.

03:15:45.000 Go to that one.

03:15:45.000 Absolutely birdiful.

03:15:46.000 God damn. 1.00

03:15:47.000 Birdiful. 1.00

03:15:47.000 Give me full screen on that. 1.00

03:15:50.000 That's perfection.

03:15:51.000 It's a delicious car.

03:15:52.000 In terms of like a sedan, a four-door sedan, that's a Gorgeous vehicle. 1.00

03:15:55.000 Bad bitch. 1.00

03:15:55.000 That's so nice. 1.00

03:15:56.000 Yeah, they better not fuck those grills up. 0.98

03:15:58.000 Oh, also, you know what they didn't fuck up the grill for? 0.96

03:15:59.000 The M8. The M8 is still the same. 0.88

03:16:02.000 Look up the new M8. They kept their grill on the M8, which I thought was strange because the new M8 is a 2021, but that's still the same old grill.

03:16:10.000 You know what it's like to me when Porsche had the 996, rather?

03:16:14.000 Yeah, the 996. That's like 2001, 2003. Like three, yeah.

03:16:18.000 They had those big stupid fried egg eyeballs. 1.00

03:16:21.000 Bro. 1.00

03:16:22.000 What were they doing? 1.00

03:16:23.000 They fucked up. 1.00

03:16:23.000 So ugly looking. 1.00

03:16:24.000 They fucked up. 1.00

03:16:25.000 They went from the best looking car ever, the 993, to the 996. But then they went back. 1.00

03:16:30.000 Now they look good.

03:16:30.000 Now they went backwards again.

03:16:31.000 Now they look great again.

03:16:32.000 Look how good that looks. 0.91

03:16:33.000 I know someone that just got a brand new turbo, the 992, the 911 Turbo S. That's a ridiculous car. 0.99

03:16:38.000 Such a sick car. 0.82

03:16:39.000 That's zero to 60 in two and a half seconds.

03:16:41.000 Look at how beautiful.

03:16:42.000 Go up to the top picture. 1.00

03:16:43.000 Look at how gorgeous that fucking M8 is. 1.00

03:16:45.000 That looks great. 1.00

03:16:46.000 Joe, will you buy me one of these?

03:16:47.000 No.

03:16:47.000 Come on, please, man.

03:16:48.000 You said a car and a house.

03:16:50.000 You didn't say...

03:16:51.000 What car? 1.00

03:16:52.000 You fucked up. 1.00

03:16:53.000 You fucked up, dude. 1.00

03:16:54.000 Come on, bro, please. 1.00

03:16:55.000 Look at that.

03:16:56.000 And I want the drop top.

03:16:57.000 I don't care that I sunburn easily.

03:16:58.000 I want the drop top.

03:16:59.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

03:17:00.000 That's what Papa needs.

03:17:01.000 That's beautiful.

03:17:02.000 That's a beautiful car.

03:17:04.000 I'm in the market.

03:17:05.000 I'm in the market, BMW. Give me an M8. You still got that Mercedes?

03:17:09.000 No, I drive a Nissan Altima now.

03:17:10.000 Why are you doing that?

03:17:11.000 You gotta switch it up.

03:17:12.000 Really?

03:17:13.000 No.

03:17:14.000 What are you driving?

03:17:14.000 I'm not telling anybody.

03:17:15.000 Okay, good move.

03:17:17.000 Smart.

03:17:17.000 Talk about it off air.

03:17:18.000 Yeah, we will.

03:17:18.000 Shall we wrap?

03:17:20.000 Are you doing shows?

03:17:22.000 Yeah.

03:17:22.000 This will come out tomorrow, right?

03:17:24.000 Yeah.

03:17:24.000 I'm in Dallas this weekend at Addison Improv.

03:17:27.000 I think there's still some tickets left.

03:17:28.000 Come out.

03:17:28.000 All shows were sold out and then we added a Sunday show.

03:17:31.000 All shows.

03:17:32.000 Sold out, but we added a Sunday show.

03:17:34.000 And then I go to...

03:17:35.000 Dude, I get to play the Wilbur Theater this year in October on my birthday.

03:17:39.000 Nice.

03:17:39.000 Do you want to come?

03:17:40.000 Come on.

03:17:41.000 Joe's going to come.

03:17:41.000 What day is it?

03:17:42.000 October 15th.

03:17:43.000 My birthday's the 16th, but it's the day before.

03:17:46.000 What day?

03:17:46.000 Wait a minute.

03:17:47.000 What day is that?

03:17:48.000 Friday, I think.

03:17:49.000 I think it's a Friday or Saturday.

03:17:50.000 I don't even know.

03:17:52.000 I might be doing the Boston Garden that weekend.

03:17:54.000 Come on, Joe. 1.00

03:17:55.000 What the fuck? 1.00

03:17:56.000 You trying to push me out of that? 1.00

03:17:57.000 You trying to push me out of your city?

03:17:58.000 The week before, maybe.

03:18:00.000 October 15th is a Friday.

03:18:01.000 I'm at the Wilbur.

03:18:02.000 Am I doing...

03:18:03.000 Yeah, I'm really busy, dude.

03:18:05.000 Hey, Jamie?

03:18:06.000 I'll do it.

03:18:07.000 You want to come open?

03:18:08.000 October 15th.

03:18:09.000 I can't do that.

03:18:11.000 Oh, come on, man.

03:18:12.000 But on October 10th.

03:18:13.000 No, October 8th, I'm at the Garden.

03:18:15.000 So the Friday before you're there.

03:18:17.000 So I'm doing this weekend.

03:18:18.000 I'm in Dallas.

03:18:19.000 And then I do Boston, Madison, Houston, Nashville.

03:18:22.000 I'm everywhere.

03:18:23.000 Just go to andrewsantino.com and grab some tickets.

03:18:26.000 I can't wait.

03:18:26.000 And also, I'm going to say this because it means a lot to me.

03:18:29.000 I got an offer.

03:18:31.000 Look, I'm a little scared, but February 2022, I'm going to try to play the Chicago Theater. 1.00

03:18:36.000 Holy shit. 0.99

03:18:36.000 I'm going to try to do one show. 0.99

03:18:38.000 Yeah.

03:18:38.000 If I can.

03:18:39.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

03:18:40.000 It's home for me, so I'm trying. 1.00

03:18:41.000 They were like, we think you can do it, and I'm like, it's so many seats, man.

03:18:45.000 But Chicago supports its own, first of all.

03:18:47.000 No, that's the best.

03:18:48.000 It's a great comedy town.

03:18:49.000 I know. 0.99

03:18:50.000 And you're fucking hilarious. 0.95

03:18:51.000 We did a bunch of shows there. 0.99

03:18:52.000 We had a good time. 0.99

03:18:53.000 And then we played the fucking, what did we play? 0.99

03:18:55.000 The United Center. 1.00

03:18:56.000 It's insane. 1.00

03:18:57.000 We played the fucking United Center. 1.00

03:19:00.000 That was insane. 1.00

03:19:01.000 I know, it's so crazy.

03:19:02.000 Those are still so crazy.

03:19:03.000 I show up and I'm like, really?

03:19:05.000 We're doing this, huh?

03:19:06.000 The first time I did one, it was many years ago.

03:19:10.000 Hinchcliffe and Ian Edwards and I were pulling up to this arena in Dallas. 0.96

03:19:15.000 I think it was like the Verizon Center or some shit.

03:19:18.000 I don't even know what it was. 0.96

03:19:19.000 The American Airlines is where the Mavs play, I think.

03:19:22.000 It was a big-ass place. 0.99

03:19:23.000 And they were like, this is a fucking crazy traffic jam we were in. 1.00

03:19:27.000 And then Ian goes, they're here for you, motherfucker. 1.00

03:19:30.000 And I look out the window and I go, what? 1.00

03:19:32.000 And I'm like, this is for us.

03:19:33.000 Oh my God, this is our traffic jam.

03:19:36.000 Wait, by the way, this is deja vu, Joe.

03:19:39.000 We were in Chicago.

03:19:41.000 Same scenario.

03:19:42.000 Me and you were leaving the hotel. 1.00

03:19:44.000 And you're like, fuck, this is annoying. 0.99

03:19:46.000 We were like an hour early and then we were going to be like right on time. 0.99

03:19:49.000 And the driver was like, I think it has something to do with you.

03:19:53.000 It's weird to cause a traffic jam, but those shows are so strange, man.

03:19:58.000 They're so strange. 0.97

03:19:59.000 It's like you enter into a different dimension where it makes sense that you could be on stage in an arena just talking shit like you would in the OR on a Tuesday night. 0.98

03:20:10.000 I'm so happy to be back. 0.98

03:20:11.000 My first weekend was last weekend.

03:20:13.000 Now this weekend is going to be... 0.99

03:20:13.000 I'm like, fucking, let's fucking go, dude! 0.99

03:20:16.000 Let's fucking go, dude! 0.99

03:20:17.000 I can't wait to do shows. 1.00

03:20:18.000 Well, you got mad antibodies, you know?

03:20:19.000 I'm anteed up.

03:20:20.000 You got antibodies from, like, your original antibodies from having COVID, and then you got antibodies from the actual vaccination antibodies.

03:20:27.000 Got that Vax check.

03:20:27.000 Got them Vax bodies, bro.

03:20:28.000 You got it all, son.

03:20:29.000 I'm ready to go, man.

03:20:30.000 I'm excited.

03:20:30.000 Come out and see me.

03:20:31.000 Go to andresantino.com.

03:20:32.000 Come out and see the kid. 0.99

03:20:33.000 He's fucking hilarious. 0.98

03:20:34.000 See me, baby. 0.99

03:20:35.000 All right.

03:20:35.000 When are you moving here?

03:20:36.000 Buy me that house.

03:20:37.000 Buy me that car.

03:20:38.000 We'll talk later.

03:20:38.000 Goodbye.

03:20:39.000 Bye.

03:20:40.000 I think?

The Joe Rogan Experience - April 29, 2021

Joe Rogan Experience #1642 - Andrew Santino

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript