The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1729 - Gilbert Gottfried

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:05.000 Train by day.

00:00:07.000 Joe Rogan Podcast by night.

00:00:08.000 All day.

00:00:12.000 Hello, Gilbert.

00:00:13.000 Oh, hello.

00:00:14.000 It's a pleasure to finally meet you.

00:00:15.000 I can't believe I haven't met you.

00:00:16.000 Yeah, I know.

00:00:17.000 It's kind of wild.

00:00:18.000 Yeah, I don't think we've ever met.

00:00:22.000 No, we just must have missed each other at every club.

00:00:26.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:00:28.000 It's kind of crazy.

00:00:29.000 Yes, and we haven't even run into each other at the morning radio stations.

00:00:35.000 No, nothing.

00:00:36.000 Where I'll usually run into comics.

00:00:39.000 Yeah.

00:00:40.000 You know, doing like Captain Bob and Crazy Jim and his morning zoo.

00:00:45.000 Yeah, those are a lot of fun.

00:00:46.000 Are those around anymore?

00:00:47.000 You still do those things?

00:00:48.000 I don't...

00:00:49.000 Is radio totally dead now?

00:00:51.000 It's not dead, but it's definitely on life support.

00:00:54.000 Yeah.

00:00:55.000 It's just...

00:00:56.000 They're censored, you know?

00:00:58.000 And it's, you know, local.

00:01:00.000 It's only like a small round of range.

00:01:02.000 Unless you're on satellite radio.

00:01:04.000 And satellite radio is kind of odd, too.

00:01:06.000 Because there's the internet.

00:01:07.000 You can't really...

00:01:08.000 You know, satellite radio is...

00:01:10.000 It's hard for them to compete with the internet.

00:01:12.000 So, uh...

00:01:13.000 Radio's on life support...

00:01:16.000 And movies are on life support.

00:01:18.000 Movies are doing good, apparently.

00:01:20.000 Yeah.

00:01:21.000 People are going to the movies, these reckless young folks. 0.98

00:01:22.000 They don't give a fuck about diseases. 0.99

00:01:24.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:01:24.000 No, I think even before, even before, like, it was the pandemic, movies, you know, it got to that point where it's like, A movie would be in theaters and also at home on TV. I think movies are going to go the way of vaudeville. 0.96

00:01:45.000 You think so?

00:01:46.000 Yeah.

00:01:46.000 Yeah, I really think so.

00:01:48.000 But people like to go out.

00:01:50.000 They like to go out to a comedy show.

00:01:52.000 Yeah.

00:01:53.000 I hope they keep liking that.

00:01:56.000 Do you think we'll ever get to a point where there's going to be virtual comedy clubs where you'll be at home and you'll be watching stand-up in an audience?

00:02:04.000 You'll feel like you're in an audience because you're watching them live.

00:02:07.000 You'll be able to buy a ticket for Zany's at 8 p.m.

00:02:11.000 on Friday, but you'll be able to watch it from home.

00:02:13.000 So you could sit in your underwear and watch?

00:02:16.000 I think so.

00:02:19.000 I mean, already, like, I did a show on the internet, and other people have done stand-up on the internet during the pandemic, and it shows you're really...

00:02:32.000 So they could put it...

00:02:33.000 And I think they could put in an audience there with you.

00:02:39.000 Well, I think they're doing stuff like that now where you'll have, like, John Heffron was doing this before.

00:02:45.000 Do you know John Heffron, Conk?

00:02:47.000 I probably have spoken to him 500 times and don't remember him.

00:02:52.000 Very funny guy.

00:02:53.000 Yes.

00:02:54.000 Anyway, John, before the pandemic, was doing these corporate gigs where they would bring him to a place and he would stand in front of an array of screens, like 30 or 40 screens, and he would do his act and you could see the people They're faces,

00:03:09.000 like they're audience members.

00:03:12.000 Yeah, I definitely could see that happening.

00:03:19.000 Here's something I wonder.

00:03:21.000 Are they ever going to build, like they make animatronic people, or what's it called when it's half animatronic and half person?

00:03:33.000 Cyborg. 0.98

00:03:35.000 Are there ever gonna be, I'm sure they will have it, cyborg hookers. 1.00

00:03:40.000 Oh yeah, for sure. 0.97

00:03:41.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:03:42.000 It'll probably be more robot hookers, because people will still be concerned about an actual biological human who's a hooker. 1.00

00:03:48.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:03:49.000 Which is odd. 0.98

00:03:50.000 You know who no one gives a fuck about? 1.00

00:03:52.000 Male hookers. 1.00

00:03:53.000 No. 0.99

00:03:53.000 No one's trying to protect male hookers. 0.99

00:03:55.000 No.

00:03:55.000 Nothing.

00:03:55.000 Not at all.

00:03:56.000 They could all get killed.

00:04:00.000 It's true. 0.91

00:04:01.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:04:01.000 As long as they're adults, grown adult men, no one gives a shit about a 40-year-old male hooker. 0.99

00:04:07.000 Oh, God, yeah. 0.99

00:04:08.000 No sympathy. 1.00

00:04:09.000 You don't even want to think about a male hooker. 1.00

00:04:13.000 But it's like the guy gets no sympathy. 0.97

00:04:15.000 None.

00:04:15.000 A 40-year-old woman who's walking the street is sad.

00:04:18.000 Yes. 1.00

00:04:19.000 A 40-year-old guy looking to suck dicks for a little extra money. 1.00

00:04:23.000 Literally, no one feels bad for him. 1.00

00:04:25.000 See, so I think we should have more sympathy for guys who suck dicks. 1.00

00:04:31.000 Or we should have an even amount of sympathy. 1.00

00:04:34.000 We always feel more sympathetic to women who are down and out.

00:04:37.000 Women, homeless people I feel bad for. 1.00

00:04:39.000 I remember they once on TV, they once filmed, they had a hidden camera by an air pump at a gas station.

00:04:50.000 And they'd have like a pretty girl... 1.00

00:04:57.000 Show up with a bicycle and go, I don't know how to operate this thing.

00:05:03.000 I'm all confused.

00:05:04.000 And a million guys would run over.

00:05:07.000 Oh, oh, it's okay.

00:05:08.000 This is very complicated.

00:05:11.000 Let me do it for you. 1.00

00:05:13.000 And then they'd have a guy with a bicycle say, I don't know, and they'd say, what are you, an asshole? 1.00

00:05:23.000 Men don't get your break, Gilbert. 1.00

00:05:24.000 No.

00:05:24.000 It's horrible.

00:05:25.000 No.

00:05:25.000 Sad out there.

00:05:27.000 But it is true. 1.00

00:05:28.000 Because the guys are probably trying to fuck the woman. 1.00

00:05:30.000 Yes. 1.00

00:05:31.000 Or at least get her to like them.

00:05:33.000 Because men like it when women like us.

00:05:37.000 And I remember one time sitting in like, it was like a bus or a train terminal, and there was some pretty girl there with her dog.

00:05:47.000 And I thought, boy, it's amazing how many guys at this terminal are curious what kind of dog that is.

00:05:58.000 And what kind of pet it makes.

00:06:02.000 Every guy was like, oh, what a nice dog.

00:06:07.000 Yeah, it's a trick.

00:06:09.000 Yeah, and like guys with puppies, that's why they get puppies.

00:06:12.000 They get puppies to get the opposite.

00:06:14.000 Yes.

00:06:14.000 So the women come up to them, oh my god, so cute, so cute.

00:06:18.000 Especially guys with like a little puppy.

00:06:20.000 Oh, forget it.

00:06:22.000 A little shih tzu puppy.

00:06:22.000 Yes.

00:06:23.000 Something like that.

00:06:27.000 It's a trap.

00:06:28.000 It's a trap.

00:06:29.000 How many guys actually get puppies just so that women pay attention to them?

00:06:33.000 Oh! 0.60

00:06:33.000 A lot. 0.60

00:06:34.000 Yeah.

00:06:35.000 For sure.

00:06:35.000 Yeah.

00:06:35.000 I'm sure.

00:06:36.000 And then when they don't wind up getting laid, they kill the puppy or something.

00:06:40.000 Or they bring it to the pound.

00:06:41.000 Yes.

00:06:41.000 Yeah.

00:06:42.000 Or they give it to a friend.

00:06:43.000 Yeah.

00:06:43.000 Or they try to give it to a girl.

00:06:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:06:45.000 And then she still won't fuck them. 1.00

00:06:49.000 Sad times. 1.00

00:06:50.000 Sad times.

00:06:51.000 So how has the pandemic treated you?

00:06:54.000 How have you handled it?

00:06:56.000 Did you get COVID? No, no.

00:06:59.000 Did you get vaccinated?

00:07:00.000 No, knock wood. 0.99

00:07:02.000 Yeah, I got the two regular shots, and I even got the booster.

00:07:08.000 And everything's fine?

00:07:08.000 You're good to go?

00:07:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:07:11.000 Knock wood 5,000 times.

00:07:13.000 Yeah, knock on some wood for you.

00:07:14.000 Now, did you get it?

00:07:15.000 I got COVID. Yeah.

00:07:17.000 And how was that?

00:07:19.000 Not bad.

00:07:19.000 Yeah.

00:07:22.000 So do you recommend it?

00:07:23.000 No, I don't recommend it.

00:07:24.000 No, it's definitely dangerous.

00:07:26.000 I recommend you being as healthy as possible, but when I got it, I got good treatment, and I was better in a couple days.

00:07:33.000 Oh, good.

00:07:34.000 Yeah.

00:07:35.000 Yeah, because...

00:07:38.000 I just remember when it was going full force.

00:07:42.000 And you couldn't watch a TV show.

00:07:46.000 Everything was reports on it.

00:07:48.000 And it would be like, oh, it's doing better this week.

00:07:52.000 It's only 500,000 dead.

00:07:56.000 And so that was scary.

00:08:00.000 Well, it was real scary in New York City, right?

00:08:03.000 Like, New York City, everybody's on top of each other, which facilitates that kind of spread.

00:08:10.000 Yeah, but as far as me and vaccines, I would get three vaccines a week if they said that was...

00:08:21.000 How long did you wait before you did sets again?

00:08:28.000 It wasn't that far from now.

00:08:33.000 I mean, it was, you know, a couple, six months ago.

00:08:37.000 So you waited like a year or so?

00:08:39.000 Yeah, over a year.

00:08:42.000 Where was that?

00:08:43.000 I went back and I did Caroline's in New York.

00:08:50.000 And it's so funny how rusty you do get.

00:08:55.000 Yeah.

00:08:55.000 Because when I was doing it all the time, it's like, you know...

00:08:59.000 Normal.

00:08:59.000 Yeah.

00:09:00.000 Wake me up at 3 o'clock in the morning, and I'll do my whole set on the phone to you.

00:09:06.000 And now it was like I was up there, first of all, thinking, is this really what I do for a living?

00:09:15.000 Right.

00:09:15.000 Yeah.

00:09:15.000 Yeah, it's like, so all of a sudden, this isn't normal.

00:09:21.000 I'm up here saying dumb shit, and people are laughing and clapping their hands, and then I feel bad if I say dumb shit, and then not clapping their hands. 1.00

00:09:33.000 You know Ron White? 1.00

00:09:34.000 Oh, yes.

00:09:35.000 Yeah, Ron went about, I think he went eight months without doing it, and we did a show in Austin.

00:09:40.000 And before we did a show in Austin, he's like, well, I'm basically retired. 0.87

00:09:44.000 I'm just going to fucking play golf and hang out. 0.95

00:09:47.000 I guess I'm done with comedy. 1.00

00:09:48.000 I had a good time, but I mean, fuck this. 0.99

00:09:50.000 I mean, I'm busy. 0.99

00:09:51.000 And then we were going to do a show here at Vulcan, Vulcan Gas Company on 6th Street, and Ron decided to do a set, and he prepared, went over his material, went up, and absolutely fucking annihilated, just destroyed. 0.95

00:10:07.000 And then he gets off stage and he grabs me by both shoulders and goes, whatever the fuck we have to do to keep doing this, we're going to do this for you. 0.97

00:10:14.000 He goes, I'm back, baby. 0.98

00:10:16.000 Like, he just got a jolt of re-emergence.

00:10:20.000 But people, like, a lot of us had kind of settled.

00:10:22.000 I didn't do Stand Up for, like, six months.

00:10:24.000 A lot of us had kind of settled into this thing where we weren't doing comedy anymore.

00:10:27.000 Like, okay, this is just regular life.

00:10:29.000 I could deal with that.

00:10:30.000 Yeah, I was thinking, too, the same thing.

00:10:34.000 Like, I'm home, I'm on the couch, I'm watching TV. This isn't so terrible.

00:10:39.000 As long as I've got my health and my TV works...

00:10:45.000 And so the idea of packing my suitcase and going to the airport and all that, like going through security and... 0.99

00:10:55.000 The masks and the fucking fear. 0.99

00:10:57.000 Yes, yes. 0.99

00:10:59.000 And so, yeah, I was quite comfortable not doing it.

00:11:04.000 And then when I got back, it's like, oh, also, I'd be on stage and...

00:11:12.000 Now it's starting to come back.

00:11:15.000 But I was on stage first couple of times, and I was like, I'm sure I have more material in this.

00:11:24.000 I can't think of other bits that I do.

00:11:27.000 And this bit that I'm doing right now, I think it had a funny line at this part.

00:11:34.000 You'll remember it.

00:11:35.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:11:35.000 Isn't it funny?

00:11:36.000 If you do a lot of stand-up and you don't write your act out, you don't know what you said, unless you have recordings.

00:11:44.000 Do you have recordings of any of your sets?

00:11:47.000 Only specials and stuff.

00:11:50.000 I record everything on my phone.

00:11:52.000 Oh.

00:11:53.000 The voice notes, which is nice.

00:11:55.000 Yeah.

00:11:55.000 Because then I have a whole catalog of all the sets that I did, which is so easy to do.

00:12:04.000 I've never done that.

00:12:05.000 I've never recorded.

00:12:06.000 You have an iPhone?

00:12:08.000 I have some kind of phone.

00:12:10.000 You don't know what kind of phone you have?

00:12:11.000 I'll just show you my phone.

00:12:13.000 You have to show it to me.

00:12:15.000 That's hilarious.

00:12:16.000 I think that's an iPhone.

00:12:17.000 Yep, there you go.

00:12:18.000 Oh, okay, so I have an iPhone.

00:12:20.000 Yeah, so you have voice notes on that thing.

00:12:22.000 Yeah, I mean, and it's like, okay, here's something that I find really odd in doing comedy is there are some bits...

00:12:33.000 That you do that are your killer bits.

00:12:37.000 Those are the ones you could be bombing the whole night, pull that one out, and the crowd goes nuts and the room is shaking.

00:12:48.000 And do you ever have a bit that just goes away?

00:12:52.000 Yeah.

00:12:53.000 Yeah.

00:12:54.000 With no warning.

00:12:57.000 I'll have these bits where I'm like, uh-oh, here I better hold on to something because the walls will crash down.

00:13:08.000 It's going to be so much reaction.

00:13:11.000 And then I do it and nothing.

00:13:14.000 And then I do it a bunch of more times and still nothing.

00:13:18.000 It's just like the bit gets up and walks away from me.

00:13:20.000 They go away.

00:13:21.000 And it's weird.

00:13:22.000 It's like I never know if it's my engagement with it.

00:13:25.000 Like maybe I'm not so enthusiastic about it anymore and the audience can tell.

00:13:30.000 Maybe the time for the bit is just gone.

00:13:33.000 Like maybe it's only time relevant. 0.95

00:13:35.000 You know, it's only relevant to like three months ago and now no one gives a shit about the topic anymore.

00:13:41.000 Yeah, because I'll have it where... 0.80

00:13:43.000 Yeah, and same thing.

00:13:45.000 Like, I'll go, oh, you know, maybe I'll just give it a, you know, louder, heavier hit for the punchline or the middle section.

00:13:57.000 Yeah.

00:13:57.000 Or faster or slower.

00:13:59.000 And it's like, no, they just go away.

00:14:02.000 They go away.

00:14:03.000 Sometimes bits do.

00:14:04.000 Sometimes bits go away.

00:14:05.000 It's interesting.

00:14:06.000 It's like...

00:14:08.000 Sometimes you'll have a bit in one show and it'll crush and then the next show you say it the exact same way and it won't work.

00:14:15.000 Yes!

00:14:16.000 Yeah!

00:14:17.000 It's um...

00:14:20.000 Okay.

00:14:21.000 Old joke.

00:14:23.000 A comedian's in his hotel room and there's a knock on the door.

00:14:28.000 He opens the door.

00:14:30.000 A gorgeous girl is standing there in the sexiest outfit. 1.00

00:14:34.000 She's got an incredible body. 1.00

00:14:37.000 And she says, I saw you.

00:14:39.000 I was in the audience tonight, and I watched you, and you were so funny and so exciting that I got so turned on. 1.00

00:14:50.000 I want to come in there and fuck you and suck your dick like it's never been sucked before. 1.00

00:14:57.000 And the comic says, let me ask you something. 1.00

00:15:01.000 Was this the first show or the second?

00:15:10.000 Exactly.

00:15:12.000 You'll have one flub line that'll haunt you for the rest of the night.

00:15:17.000 Yeah, and it is like the difference between first and second, it's like you don't know.

00:15:25.000 One, it could be tremendous, and the other one, it'll be like, you know, I fooled them long enough, and I shouldn't be in this business.

00:15:36.000 Are you working the road now?

00:15:38.000 Are you doing the road these days?

00:15:40.000 More and more, yeah.

00:15:43.000 I'm going back to flying and whatever.

00:15:48.000 You moved out of the city?

00:15:50.000 Yeah, I'm in Florida now.

00:15:52.000 What is that like?

00:15:53.000 You're a lifetime New Yorker, right? 1.00

00:15:54.000 Yeah, so now I'm going where Jews go to die. 1.00

00:16:01.000 What part of Florida are you in? 0.98

00:16:03.000 In Boca Raton.

00:16:05.000 Real Florida.

00:16:07.000 Yeah, real heavens waiting for me.

00:16:10.000 What is it like down there?

00:16:11.000 The heat is intolerable.

00:16:17.000 Oh, they're in Aladdin.

00:16:24.000 There was a line in the original song, when they sing Arabian Nights, where he sings, where they cut off your nose if they don't like your face,

00:16:39.000 it's barbaric, but hey, it's home.

00:16:42.000 That was the line, the original line in it, and they had to change that.

00:16:49.000 And they changed it to where the land is immense and the heat is intense.

00:16:55.000 It's barbarian? 0.89

00:16:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:59.000 So the original Aladdin, was it a musical?

00:17:02.000 Yeah.

00:17:03.000 What was it?

00:17:03.000 The movie?

00:17:04.000 No, the one that I was in.

00:17:05.000 Oh, okay.

00:17:07.000 But it had songs in it.

00:17:09.000 But was it an old song?

00:17:11.000 No, they had written it.

00:17:13.000 It was a funny line.

00:17:15.000 And they had a cutout?

00:17:16.000 Yeah.

00:17:19.000 Oh, I remember they had the Aladdin TV show for a while.

00:17:25.000 And...

00:17:27.000 There was one part where we were being chased by a tiger, and my character goes, he's gonna eat us like kitty chow.

00:17:40.000 And some woman somewhere in Ohio or Cincinnati, whatever, she complained. 1.00

00:17:49.000 And she said she was horrified that she was watching it with her children.

00:17:55.000 And I said, that tiger's gonna eat us like titty chow.

00:18:01.000 She actually heard it as Titty Chow.

00:18:04.000 And she complained? 0.59

00:18:05.000 Yeah.

00:18:05.000 And it got all the way to you?

00:18:07.000 Yeah.

00:18:08.000 Why didn't someone tell her, hey, it's Kitty Chow. 1.00

00:18:11.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:18:12.000 Yeah, yes. 1.00

00:18:12.000 And then that would be the end. 1.00

00:18:13.000 Who brought it to you?

00:18:15.000 Well, I found out because they re-recorded it.

00:18:19.000 To make it sound more like Kitty?

00:18:21.000 Yeah, where it's like, oh, he's going to eat us like Kitty Chow.

00:18:29.000 How annoying.

00:18:31.000 It's kind of like, oh, in the opening of All in the Family, there was that one line that nobody knew.

00:18:46.000 And that line was, G.R.O. LaSalle ran great.

00:18:56.000 Yeah.

00:18:57.000 What is that?

00:18:58.000 Yeah.

00:18:58.000 And it was an old car, LaSalle.

00:19:02.000 Oh, our old LaSalle ran great.

00:19:05.000 Our old LaSalle ran great.

00:19:07.000 And so when you heard that, you always just heard...

00:19:10.000 Those were the games.

00:19:13.000 And so they re-recorded it in the next season to G.R. Old LaSalle ran great.

00:19:25.000 Look at these lyrics.

00:19:28.000 Guys like me, we had it made.

00:19:29.000 Those were the days.

00:19:31.000 Didn't need no welfare state.

00:19:32.000 Everybody pulled his weight.

00:19:34.000 Oh, I know the whole chunk.

00:19:35.000 Look at these little lines, though.

00:19:37.000 Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.

00:19:40.000 People seemed to be content.

00:19:42.000 $50 paid the rent.

00:19:44.000 Freaks were in the circus tent.

00:19:45.000 Those were the days.

00:19:46.000 Uh-oh.

00:19:47.000 See, but you know, the freaks were in the circus tent.

00:19:50.000 They didn't sing in the TV show.

00:19:53.000 But there is a recording of Sammy Davis Jr. singing the opening of All in the Family.

00:20:04.000 Really?

00:20:04.000 Yeah.

00:20:04.000 Was he an option at one point in time?

00:20:06.000 Like he was going to be the singer?

00:20:08.000 Well, it's like, I don't know.

00:20:11.000 I guess they wanted to maybe release it.

00:20:16.000 But they didn't.

00:20:18.000 But there is a recording of him singing that.

00:20:21.000 Wow.

00:20:21.000 Where it's like, Franks were in a circus.

00:20:24.000 Look at this right there.

00:20:26.000 Yeah.

00:20:26.000 Look at him with a big stogie.

00:20:35.000 Where's the lyrics?

00:20:38.000 You take a Sunday spin Go and watch the Dodgers win Have yourself a dandy day that cost you under a fin Hair was short and skirts were long Kate Smith really grooved a song I don't know where we went wrong Those were the days.

00:21:09.000 Isn't it funny that every generation complains about the direction the new generation is going in?

00:21:15.000 Because if we go back to 1970, we look at it, we go, oh my god, look how crazy life was back then.

00:21:21.000 Yes.

00:21:21.000 So simple.

00:21:22.000 They're looking at, like, the 1950s, going, oh, those were the days.

00:21:27.000 Yeah.

00:21:27.000 Like, every generation does it.

00:21:29.000 Oh, I'm sure in, like, 1403. Remember back when nobody was a robot?

00:21:33.000 Oh, yes, yes.

00:21:35.000 Yeah.

00:21:36.000 Remember back when we couldn't read minds?

00:21:38.000 Oh, yeah.

00:21:39.000 Yeah.

00:21:40.000 That's what they're going to say.

00:21:41.000 Remember when we had just five fingers on each hand?

00:21:44.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:21:44.000 Remember when there was no genetic engineering and everybody had regular-sized dicks? 0.98

00:21:48.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:21:51.000 Remember before when you lost a limb, you couldn't grow a new one?

00:21:57.000 Yeah.

00:21:58.000 That's what they're going to say.

00:22:00.000 Remember back before people were immortal?

00:22:03.000 That's what's going to happen.

00:22:04.000 Oh, and Sammy also sang a recording of Hawaii Five-0.

00:22:12.000 Really?

00:22:13.000 Yeah, where it's like, oh, something like, if you're in trouble, gotta call Five-0.

00:22:22.000 You will be there on the double when you call Five-0.

00:22:27.000 Did you ever see him perform live?

00:22:29.000 No.

00:22:30.000 I would have loved to have seen Sinatra, Sammy David.

00:22:34.000 I would have loved to have seen the Rat Pack a lot.

00:22:35.000 That would have been interesting.

00:22:36.000 I saw, because a friend of mine knew how to sneak into this one theater, and I saw, it wasn't the whole Rat Pack, but Frank and Dean.

00:22:48.000 You saw them?

00:22:48.000 Yeah.

00:22:49.000 Wow, what year was this?

00:22:50.000 Yeah, oh God, years ago.

00:22:53.000 Yeah.

00:22:54.000 Sinatra, would he die in the 80s?

00:22:55.000 When did he die?

00:22:57.000 I think so.

00:22:59.000 Yeah, in the 80s, I think.

00:23:00.000 Yeah, I don't remember, but obviously I never got a chance to see him.

00:23:04.000 And I remember, too.

00:23:06.000 98?

00:23:08.000 Oh, 98. Oh.

00:23:09.000 Interesting.

00:23:10.000 He was on, like, oh, I think the Grammy show.

00:23:14.000 And he started to make a speech, and then they cut to a commercial.

00:23:19.000 And everybody was outraged about this.

00:23:22.000 And, you know, Billy Joel mentioned it, and everybody.

00:23:27.000 And then they said that Frank, during the speech, started to ramble.

00:23:34.000 Oh, he's getting older?

00:23:35.000 Yeah.

00:23:36.000 Yeah, he was Joe Biden-ing it.

00:23:38.000 Yeah.

00:23:42.000 That's the medical.

00:23:43.000 It's a verb.

00:23:45.000 Joe Biden-ing is a verb.

00:23:47.000 That poor guy.

00:23:49.000 I mean, I didn't vote for him, but I feel bad for him.

00:23:51.000 It's like watching this happen.

00:23:52.000 It's so sad.

00:23:55.000 Oh, another thing.

00:23:57.000 On my podcast, Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast.

00:24:02.000 Available everywhere.

00:24:03.000 Yeah.

00:24:04.000 And we had on some, like, expert on Columbo, and that brought back—remember that footage of Peter Falk?

00:24:17.000 There was this footage, like somebody on people's phones, he was like, you know, roaming through the street, his clothes looked more ragged than Columbo's, and his potbelly was hanging out of his shirt,

00:24:33.000 and he looked like a mess, and he died of Alzheimer's.

00:24:40.000 I didn't see that, but...

00:24:41.000 Yeah, horrible.

00:24:42.000 It's horrible.

00:24:43.000 Dementia and Alzheimer's and just watching someone deteriorate like that.

00:24:48.000 That's why the Joe Biden thing is so sad because it's happening in real time and everybody's trying to pretend it's not happening because he's the president.

00:24:55.000 And no one is stepping in.

00:24:57.000 Like, if it was your grandfather, you'd be like, oh, jeez, we gotta do something.

00:25:00.000 But instead, it's the president.

00:25:02.000 So, like, he fell asleep at a conference the other day.

00:25:05.000 Like, on TV, you see him, like, closing his eyes, and he's got his arms crossed.

00:25:10.000 He just falls asleep.

00:25:11.000 It's like, come on, the poor guy.

00:25:13.000 It's like, I always think when people say, like, oh, you know, Belushi and Chris Farley, that's so tragic.

00:25:24.000 And I'm thinking, they died, stoned out of their mind, and great state.

00:25:31.000 You know, just floating, just total ecstasy, and a hooker is blowing them wild there in this stone state, and that's how they died.

00:25:42.000 And I'm thinking, okay, what about these people, Alzheimer's, MS, Parkinson's, all these horrible things where, after a while, people are just wired up to machines.

00:25:56.000 Yeah.

00:25:57.000 Everybody goes, but just how do you go?

00:26:00.000 Do you want to like drag it out where your body's like literally deteriorating before your eyes?

00:26:06.000 Yes.

00:26:07.000 That's what you're seeing a lot in Boca Raton.

00:26:09.000 Oh, yeah.

00:26:10.000 Right?

00:26:11.000 In your new neighborhood?

00:26:13.000 The one I felt bad for the most was...

00:26:20.000 Annette Funicello.

00:26:21.000 Oh, I didn't see that.

00:26:23.000 Well, they didn't really show her so much, but it was that she had something like one of those diseases that cripples you and where you're still alive, but after a while you can't blink your eyes.

00:26:40.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:26:41.000 And she lived for years with that disease.

00:26:48.000 And I always think of that line in Dracula. 0.59

00:26:53.000 To die, to be really dead, must be glorious.

00:27:00.000 There are far worse things awaiting man than death.

00:27:07.000 Was that, who was it, was it Boris Karloff?

00:27:12.000 Who did that? 0.91

00:27:12.000 Oh, that was Bela Lugosi. 0.91

00:27:14.000 Bela Lugosi, that's right.

00:27:15.000 Boris Karloff was Frankenstein.

00:27:17.000 Okay, Boris Karloff was Frankenstein and the mummy.

00:27:22.000 Bela Lugosi was Dracula, but he also played Frankenstein in one movie.

00:27:27.000 He did?

00:27:28.000 In Frankenstein meets the Wolfman.

00:27:33.000 And Lon Chaney Jr. played all the monsters.

00:27:37.000 Did he?

00:27:37.000 He was most famous for the Wolfman.

00:27:39.000 Who else did he play?

00:27:40.000 He was also Frankenstein in Ghost of Frankenstein.

00:27:46.000 And he was the mummy in about three of those low-budget mummy pictures.

00:27:54.000 Oh, there he is!

00:27:56.000 Dracula in Son of Dracula.

00:27:58.000 When you watch that old wolf, man, it's so corny.

00:28:01.000 Oh, he's Dr. Jekyll as well?

00:28:03.000 Uh, no.

00:28:05.000 Oh, that's his father.

00:28:06.000 Oh, Lone Cheney Sr. Yes.

00:28:09.000 Yeah, the original.

00:28:12.000 Yeah.

00:28:13.000 I wanted to be a makeup artist when I was a kid.

00:28:15.000 That's what I wanted to do.

00:28:16.000 Oh, yeah.

00:28:16.000 I wanted to do makeup for horror movies.

00:28:19.000 Yeah.

00:28:19.000 Like, you know, these guys like Lon Chaney Jr. Yeah.

00:28:24.000 Also, on the podcast, we interviewed Rick Baker.

00:28:27.000 Yeah, Rick Baker's done the podcast.

00:28:28.000 He's amazing.

00:28:29.000 Yeah, he's amazing.

00:28:30.000 Yeah.

00:28:31.000 In my studio in L.A., I have a duplicate of the American Werewolf in London.

00:28:35.000 Oh, yeah?

00:28:35.000 That frees people at the front door.

00:28:36.000 Yeah.

00:28:38.000 Which is one of my all-time favorite movies.

00:28:40.000 I still love those movies.

00:28:41.000 Oh, I did too.

00:28:43.000 I grew up on those.

00:28:44.000 And another time Lon Chaney Jr. was Frankenstein, was in Ghost of Frankenstein, but in one scene in Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein,

00:29:00.000 the monster, that was played by Glenn Strange, Has to throw a girl out the window.

00:29:11.000 And I think Glenn Strange hurt his ankle previously with his big Frankenstein boots.

00:29:20.000 And so Lon Chaney was made up as the monster in that scene.

00:29:27.000 There's one scene where the monster throws the girl out the window, and that's Lon Chaney Jr. as the monster.

00:29:33.000 Oh, he subbed for them.

00:29:35.000 Yeah.

00:29:36.000 Wow. 1.00

00:29:37.000 You're a fucking veritable treasure trove of information, Gilbert Gottfried. 1.00

00:29:41.000 Either that or fucking pathetic. 1.00

00:29:44.000 It's funny how many monster movies they used to make. 1.00

00:29:48.000 They didn't make a lot of movies back then, right?

00:29:50.000 There was less movies than there are today, but a lot of them were monster movies.

00:29:54.000 Oh, yeah.

00:29:55.000 And also, well, like movies today with sequels, after a while they would do identical plots from one to the next with one or two scenes changed.

00:30:08.000 But yeah, I used to love those.

00:30:11.000 And I mean, they were the classic ones, you know, Frankenstein, Dracula, the Wolfman.

00:30:17.000 And then I would enjoy the crappy ones too, like the hideous sun demon. 0.96

00:30:25.000 Yeah, there's some bad ones. 0.91

00:30:26.000 The Hideous Sun Demon.

00:30:28.000 I just remembered that one now that you brought it up.

00:30:31.000 God, who was that?

00:30:32.000 Who was in that movie?

00:30:33.000 I don't know that anyone was known except for like those D movies.

00:30:38.000 Yeah, those were great though. 1.00

00:30:40.000 They were so dumb. 1.00

00:30:42.000 There's the Hideous Sun Demon. 1.00

00:30:43.000 Yes, yes!

00:30:45.000 Look at that thing. 0.99

00:30:47.000 Oh my god, that's so ridiculous. 0.99

00:30:49.000 Oh my god, look at that thing. 0.99

00:30:51.000 Yeah, it looks like they put coins all over it.

00:30:55.000 Get some video of that, Jamie.

00:30:57.000 We need to see that in video.

00:30:58.000 God, I forgot about that movie.

00:31:00.000 That's hilarious.

00:31:01.000 Yeah, they pulled a switch rather than the sun coming out and turning them into a monster.

00:31:08.000 59. Rather than the moon, it's the sun.

00:31:10.000 Oh, it's atomic, so of course that makes you turn into...

00:31:15.000 They did a lot of those movies right after World War II, right after Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

00:31:20.000 Yeah, like Godzilla was a whole...

00:31:22.000 Yeah, the whole Godzilla sequence, like the Mothra and Rodan and all those different ones.

00:31:30.000 It's all related to atomic weapons, right?

00:31:33.000 Yes, and...

00:31:35.000 Oh, Gary is breaking into a building.

00:31:40.000 Let me see what he looks like.

00:31:43.000 Is it playing?

00:31:44.000 Oh, it's froze.

00:31:46.000 It's so corny.

00:31:48.000 Oh, now he's running up the stairs.

00:31:50.000 It's so fake looking. 1.00

00:31:51.000 It's so dumb. 1.00

00:31:54.000 But still, so much fun to watch because it's so stupid. 1.00

00:32:00.000 I watched the original The Thing recently. 0.99

00:32:04.000 Yes.

00:32:05.000 Way before John Carpenter.

00:32:07.000 The original, original one.

00:32:08.000 God, it's so bad.

00:32:09.000 Yeah.

00:32:10.000 Oh, but the thing is James Arnaz.

00:32:14.000 Oh, is it?

00:32:14.000 Yeah.

00:32:15.000 Is that Desi Arnaz's dad or something?

00:32:17.000 No.

00:32:19.000 James Arnaz from Gunsmoke.

00:32:22.000 Oh, really?

00:32:23.000 Yeah.

00:32:23.000 What did the thing look like?

00:32:25.000 I'm trying to remember what the thing looked like.

00:32:27.000 You never really saw a clear look.

00:32:30.000 You saw something hulking out and more of a silhouette.

00:32:34.000 Yeah.

00:32:35.000 It was corny.

00:32:36.000 Yeah, but also fun.

00:32:39.000 Is that what it looked like?

00:32:40.000 That was the thing?

00:32:41.000 Oh, yeah.

00:32:41.000 See, there you could make it out.

00:32:45.000 But did they show that actually in the movie like that?

00:32:47.000 I just remember it as more of a silhouette.

00:32:53.000 I only watched like 20 minutes of it.

00:32:54.000 I was just laughing.

00:32:55.000 It's how corny it was.

00:32:57.000 It was just so weird.

00:32:58.000 That's what he looked like?

00:33:00.000 Yeah, it's kind of like Frankenstein.

00:33:04.000 I wonder what the obsession with monsters was back then, because that was a good percentage of the films that were made were monsters.

00:33:11.000 Maybe it was just that they were successful.

00:33:13.000 There was also someone we interviewed on the podcast, I think it's David Scholl, whose theory I think I think I'm going to go.

00:33:40.000 We're now alive with missing arms and legs and their faces.

00:33:47.000 And his feeling is that's what made people so fascinated with monsters because these were like real live monsters around them.

00:34:00.000 Yeah, there's a bunch of photos online of people who survived in World War II. And they survived gunshot wounds to their face and things along those lines.

00:34:09.000 And there's horrific photos.

00:34:11.000 Yeah.

00:34:12.000 That makes sense.

00:34:13.000 Yeah.

00:34:14.000 Because so many people coming back from the war that did live. 0.56

00:34:18.000 Yeah, it was like much nicer and prettier if the soldiers would just die.

00:34:27.000 But once they live and you see what actually happens to them...

00:34:33.000 The worst story I heard about the war was from World War I where the Russians and the Germans had to have a ceasefire because so many of them were getting killed by wolves that they actually joined together to kill the wolves in Russia.

00:34:45.000 Jesus!

00:34:46.000 Yeah.

00:34:46.000 There was hundreds of wolves because what had happened is they were doing trench warfare, right?

00:34:52.000 And so a guy would get shot and he'd be in agony in the trenches and the wolves would smell the blood and the wolves would go into the trenches and eat the men alive.

00:35:02.000 And kill them. 0.54

00:35:03.000 And so they would, guys would go on patrol and they would like find a boot with a foot still in it and that was all that was left of them. 0.58

00:35:10.000 And so they realized that these large packs of vicious wolves in Russia were just picking off soldiers from the outside.

00:35:17.000 So anytime someone strayed away from the camps or strayed away from, you know, wherever they were stationed, wolves would get them.

00:35:24.000 And so they literally got together and had a ceasefire and said, let's stop killing each other. 0.99

00:35:29.000 Let's kill these fucking wolves and then we'll go back to killing each other. 1.00

00:35:32.000 It's the insanity of that. 1.00

00:35:35.000 We gotta make it safe for us to kill each other again.

00:35:41.000 It's kind of amazing that that's a historical fact.

00:35:43.000 It's a really wild story.

00:35:45.000 Also, you reminded me because we interviewed Sandler.

00:35:51.000 Do you remember Sandler and Young?

00:35:54.000 No.

00:35:55.000 He was Belgium, so he spoke in French, and then he had an American partner and they would sing.

00:36:05.000 Were they a comedy act?

00:36:07.000 No, no.

00:36:07.000 They were like just a song.

00:36:10.000 Singing act?

00:36:10.000 Singing team.

00:36:11.000 They'd be on all the variety shows.

00:36:13.000 And, you know, it'd be like, Oh, when the saints come marching in.

00:36:18.000 Oh, when the saints come marching in.

00:36:20.000 And then it's like, And they'd sing it, American and French.

00:36:31.000 And Sandler said, in Belgium, of course, he was there during World War II. Oh, and he said that Nazis would take over people's houses and use them as headquarters.

00:36:48.000 And he had Nazis in his house, and they were instructed, just do everything as you normally do. 0.85

00:36:59.000 Don't do anything different. 1.00

00:37:00.000 And it's like, which is hard if there's fucking Nazis in your house. 0.99

00:37:04.000 And he said one time he and his friends were playing, and they found a boot with a footnet. 0.99

00:37:12.000 Whoa.

00:37:13.000 Oh, and as far as horror and real...

00:37:16.000 I think the movie The Black Cat with Karloff and Lugosi was actually based on some prison camp.

00:37:24.000 Really?

00:37:25.000 Yeah.

00:37:26.000 It was just...

00:37:29.000 I don't know what happened there or who.

00:37:31.000 I don't know the exact story, but it was...

00:37:34.000 I don't even know what that movie is.

00:37:35.000 The Black Cat.

00:37:36.000 Oh, The Black Cat.

00:37:37.000 If you like horror movies, that...

00:37:40.000 It's Karloff and Lugosi, and the movie, not three seconds of it makes any sense.

00:37:49.000 Really?

00:37:49.000 You feel like you're watching, you're having a weird dream.

00:37:54.000 But it's so good.

00:37:55.000 It's so entertaining.

00:37:57.000 Just because it's so old and weird?

00:37:59.000 Yeah, it's very weird.

00:38:00.000 But it's not one of those, you laugh at it because it's bad.

00:38:04.000 It's a good movie, but it makes absolutely no sense.

00:38:09.000 It's a good movie that makes no sense.

00:38:10.000 Yes, yes.

00:38:11.000 Usually I get angry when movies make no sense.

00:38:15.000 But when they're old, you're kind of watching history as much as you're watching a movie.

00:38:20.000 Yes.

00:38:20.000 When my kids were little, my wife was out of town, and we were trying to figure out something to watch together.

00:38:27.000 And they were like, I think they were six and eight.

00:38:31.000 And I said, do you guys want to watch a scary movie?

00:38:34.000 And they were like, you know, my littlest would get real scary.

00:38:37.000 She goes, I don't want to get scared.

00:38:38.000 I go, I'm going to show you a movie that used to be scary, but now it's funny because it's so bad.

00:38:43.000 Yeah.

00:38:44.000 And so I showed them the original King Kong.

00:38:46.000 Yes.

00:38:46.000 From like, what was it?

00:38:47.000 Like 1933?

00:38:49.000 Yeah.

00:38:49.000 And it's so bad.

00:38:51.000 Like, you watch it, like, the animation, like, it wasn't scary at all.

00:38:54.000 They were laughing.

00:38:55.000 They thought it was hilarious.

00:38:56.000 I was like, this is funny.

00:38:57.000 Like, if you were a little kid in 1933 and you watched this, it would probably be quite scary.

00:39:02.000 Because, like, the animation and everything, like, they didn't have anything to compare it to.

00:39:06.000 So it didn't look bad.

00:39:07.000 It just looked like there was a beast, you know?

00:39:11.000 But people today, you try showing that to a little kid today, they just laugh at it.

00:39:15.000 See, but me, I grew up on that stop-action animation, you know.

00:39:21.000 You know, Ray Harryhausen and Willis O'Brien.

00:39:25.000 So I still enjoy that.

00:39:28.000 That I prefer to computerization.

00:39:32.000 And I think what Roger Ebert said, stop action looks phony but feels real.

00:39:45.000 And he says, CGI looks real but feels phony.

00:39:51.000 Yeah, there is something about CGI that just doesn't resonate.

00:39:55.000 There's something about it where it just doesn't feel right.

00:39:58.000 You know, there's a lot of these guys that do that Rick Baker style makeup for movies, and they're big advocates of that.

00:40:07.000 They don't think we should have CGI because there's a disconnect when you see something on the screen that's computer generated, even if it's really realistic.

00:40:14.000 Did you see the Wolfman with Benicio Del Toro?

00:40:19.000 That's pretty good.

00:40:20.000 Yeah.

00:40:20.000 I liked it.

00:40:21.000 But that movie was a little bit of both.

00:40:25.000 But when you saw the CGI parts, you'd be like, ah, this looks fake.

00:40:29.000 Yes.

00:40:29.000 But when you saw him with the makeup, it's like, okay, this is a real thing.

00:40:34.000 This is an actual object.

00:40:35.000 It's like...

00:40:36.000 To me, when I watch the original King Kong, I feel like, well, there is a real King Kong that they built.

00:40:44.000 So you could touch King Kong if you were there.

00:40:49.000 But you can't touch, you know, CGI. You can tell.

00:40:53.000 It's weird.

00:40:54.000 It's that weird disconnect you have, even if it's like super, super realistic.

00:40:59.000 You know that it's not real somehow.

00:41:01.000 Yes.

00:41:02.000 Also, the difference between American Werewolf in London, where that was like great special effects.

00:41:12.000 Yeah.

00:41:12.000 Amazing.

00:41:13.000 Yeah.

00:41:14.000 And then they did American Werewolf in Paris, where they were using CGI, and it looked like half of it was a cartoon. 1.00

00:41:24.000 Yeah, that looks stupid. 1.00

00:41:25.000 Yeah, there was a lot of those movies that looked really stupid like that. 1.00

00:41:28.000 But then they had The Howling. 0.99

00:41:29.000 The Howling was all special effects, too.

00:41:32.000 It was kind of the same deal.

00:41:33.000 You know, those movies, it's like there's something that you get connected.

00:41:40.000 Even though you know it's fake, you get connected to it.

00:41:43.000 It's okay.

00:41:44.000 Whereas, like, if it's CGI, you're just watching some stuff happen.

00:41:47.000 You're watching some images.

00:41:49.000 Yeah.

00:41:50.000 Yeah, I always missed...

00:41:52.000 I mean, even as a kid, I knew how they made King Kong move, how the dinosaurs move.

00:41:59.000 I knew how Chaney turned into the Wolfman by turning the camera on and off, but I loved watching that, and it still feels more real to me.

00:42:10.000 Well, it's also fun because you're watching these people make the best with what they had, and you know what was available then as opposed to now.

00:42:18.000 Like, stop motion, claymation, all that kind of stuff, and the kind of makeup.

00:42:23.000 Like, Lone Chaney Sr., a guy disfigured his face to make those movies, tortured himself.

00:42:29.000 And there was also, like, I used to be fascinated to hear...

00:42:34.000 People talk about how effects were done in movies.

00:42:38.000 And now if you ask someone, it'll be like, well, this button makes it rain and this button makes dinosaurs show up and this button fire shoots out of the dinosaur.

00:42:54.000 Yeah.

00:42:54.000 Well, it's also, if you look at the American Werewolf in London, because of the fact that it wasn't computer generated, they had to show you everything in very quick flashes.

00:43:05.000 Yes.

00:43:05.000 They didn't lock onto it for a long period of time where you got to see it.

00:43:09.000 The longest you got to see it was when the wolf was walking through Piccadilly Square.

00:43:13.000 Remember that?

00:43:14.000 Yes.

00:43:14.000 He was snapping at people.

00:43:16.000 That was the clearest and most you ever got to see it.

00:43:19.000 Other than that, you get to see a brief glimpse of its face right before it attacked.

00:43:24.000 Like Alien, the Ridley Scott movie, same kind of deal.

00:43:27.000 You really didn't see it that clearly for long periods of time.

00:43:31.000 But what shows how good the makeup and everything was in there, when he changes, it's in a well-lit room.

00:43:43.000 Because so many movies, there's immediately, it's at night, and there's a thunderstorm going on.

00:43:51.000 Yeah.

00:43:52.000 No, that was an epic, I mean, that was, when you see that, I forget the actor's name, played the American Werewolf in London.

00:43:59.000 Oh, David Norton.

00:44:00.000 Yes.

00:44:01.000 When you see his hands stretch, he's like, ah!

00:44:04.000 And he's watching it.

00:44:07.000 For years after that...

00:44:09.000 Play that.

00:44:10.000 Try to find a transformation scene.

00:44:11.000 For years after that, I would know it's special effects, but I'd look at my hand and see if I could do that.

00:44:20.000 Yeah, also when the hair is popping up on its back.

00:44:25.000 And it was a unique...

00:44:28.000 For these kind of movies, for horror movies, it was revolutionary.

00:44:33.000 Because it was like, Rick Baker was the king.

00:44:37.000 He was the best at this stuff.

00:44:39.000 And they gave him the ability to kind of completely change the way people feel about these kind of transformation scenes.

00:44:48.000 Yes. 1.00

00:44:48.000 Like this shit. 1.00

00:44:50.000 That's amazing. 1.00

00:44:51.000 That looks like a real hand.

00:44:53.000 And they added, like, John Landis made it funny.

00:44:56.000 They added the right kind of music to it.

00:44:58.000 There was so much to it.

00:45:00.000 And as this thing's changing, and he falls to the ground, you see his hair pop up on his back. 0.99

00:45:08.000 Fuck, this was good. 0.99

00:45:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:45:17.000 Oh, what a great movie.

00:45:28.000 It was such a great movie because it was a combination of comedy and horror.

00:45:33.000 Yeah.

00:45:33.000 But it was both.

00:45:34.000 It was both actually really funny and really fucking scary. 0.87

00:45:37.000 Yes. 0.94

00:45:39.000 Oh my god, what a great scene.

00:45:42.000 Yeah, and completely well lit.

00:45:44.000 Look at that. 0.99

00:45:48.000 Fucking amazing movie. 0.99

00:45:51.000 We have to turn the music off? 0.99

00:45:53.000 There was once a case of like...

00:45:57.000 And then the face, when his face stretches out?

00:46:03.000 Oh yes, that's this.

00:46:05.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:46:06.000 I mean, Rick Baker's a fucking genius. 0.98

00:46:08.000 Imagine being able to do this in like, what was it, 1980-something? 0.99

00:46:12.000 Yeah.

00:46:18.000 I mean, there was nothing like this before this.

00:46:21.000 It was so revolutionary.

00:46:23.000 These came out at the same time.

00:46:26.000 This one and The Howling.

00:46:27.000 Both were.

00:46:28.000 I think this one came out first.

00:46:30.000 And I think this was so successful that it sort of ignited this desire for werewolf movies.

00:46:38.000 Oh, and then there's a dopey horror film that I think it's called The Beast Within that does a transformation scene that goes on like way too long, but it's so much fun to watch.

00:46:55.000 The Beast Within?

00:46:56.000 The Beast Within.

00:46:58.000 Do you remember Cats?

00:47:00.000 Cat people?

00:47:01.000 There were two.

00:47:02.000 There was the original one, and then there was the one with the top.

00:47:06.000 Oh, that's it!

00:47:07.000 There it is!

00:47:08.000 What is this?

00:47:09.000 Yes!

00:47:09.000 Look at her.

00:47:10.000 She's like, what is happening?

00:47:12.000 They're both just standing there.

00:47:13.000 They're not running out of the room.

00:47:15.000 Like, imagine if you saw a guy's face do that. 0.98

00:47:17.000 You'd be like, I'm getting the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:47:20.000 Yes! 0.98

00:47:20.000 They're all standing by. 0.98

00:47:21.000 No one's screaming.

00:47:23.000 And one guy has a syringe in his hand.

00:47:25.000 Like, how about you inject that guy with whatever you've got in that syringe?

00:47:29.000 Whoa. 0.78

00:47:29.000 This is so terrible. 0.78

00:47:31.000 Play it.

00:47:32.000 Let it play.

00:47:33.000 Let it play.

00:47:37.000 What is happening to his back?

00:47:40.000 His whole body's splitting open.

00:47:43.000 Oh.

00:47:43.000 And what's funny with this, after he goes into his, like, 15th metamorphosis, one guy says, oh, my God.

00:47:53.000 And I'm thinking, the other things weren't worth an oh, my God.

00:48:01.000 This is so long.

00:48:03.000 Yes.

00:48:04.000 See, they needed a good editor.

00:48:07.000 Look at her.

00:48:08.000 She does the same face the entire time.

00:48:11.000 Yes.

00:48:12.000 She's just letting it all happen.

00:48:13.000 Oh, now finally she's screaming. 0.92

00:48:14.000 Oh, finally!

00:48:15.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:48:16.000 She, you know, before, nothing was so...

00:48:19.000 I can't wait to see what he turns into.

00:48:22.000 Oh, see, that guy with the mustache said, oh my god.

00:48:28.000 Meanwhile, they're just all standing there.

00:48:30.000 Yes, yes! 0.99

00:48:30.000 Why wouldn't you get the fuck out of Dodge? 0.99

00:48:31.000 Anybody would run for their life. 0.97

00:48:34.000 Yeah, what is the...

00:48:35.000 What are you?

00:48:38.000 It keeps going back and forth.

00:48:40.000 It got bigger, it got smaller.

00:48:42.000 Now what is it?

00:48:44.000 Oh, now it's big. 1.00

00:48:47.000 Shoot him for God's sake, it says. 1.00

00:48:50.000 Shoot him for God's sake. 1.00

00:48:53.000 They don't make them anymore, Gilbert. 1.00

00:48:55.000 They don't make a good horror movie anymore.

00:48:57.000 No.

00:48:58.000 Not that many of them.

00:48:59.000 I mean, what was the last good one you saw?

00:49:01.000 Oh God, I don't know.

00:49:04.000 Cloverfield?

00:49:06.000 That was a monster movie?

00:49:08.000 Yeah, that was a monster movie, right?

00:49:09.000 That was interesting.

00:49:11.000 Like Hereditary and The Conjuring, those have kind of gotten really popular more recently.

00:49:15.000 Yeah, but those are horror.

00:49:17.000 Yeah, it's like psychological stuff.

00:49:19.000 You don't have good monster movies anymore.

00:49:22.000 Gotta bring them back.

00:49:23.000 Yeah.

00:49:25.000 Scream's on its way back out.

00:49:27.000 That's not really...

00:49:27.000 I guess that's more serial killer.

00:49:29.000 It's all horror.

00:49:29.000 Yeah.

00:49:32.000 So, do you have a home club in Boca?

00:49:36.000 There's some nearby clubs.

00:49:38.000 One I worked recently.

00:49:41.000 And, oh, God.

00:49:44.000 Yeah.

00:49:45.000 But now, I mean, like, tomorrow I go to Houston to do a club.

00:49:51.000 What club are you doing in Houston?

00:49:52.000 God, I don't know.

00:49:54.000 Somebody find out. 1.00

00:49:55.000 What the fuck is sitting there like that? 1.00

00:49:58.000 Find out where I am, what I've got to plug, and don't fucking shit. 1.00

00:50:05.000 Are you doing the improv? 1.00

00:50:07.000 Improv's great in Houston.

00:50:08.000 I don't know if I've ever done that one.

00:50:10.000 That's a good one.

00:50:11.000 Oh, but one thing I have to plug, of course, I'm on cameo.com slash Gilbert Gottfried for...

00:50:21.000 Personalized video shoutouts.

00:50:24.000 And for 25% off, use promo code JoeRogan.

00:50:32.000 And these cameos, you're doing these a lot, right?

00:50:35.000 Yes.

00:50:36.000 And do you enjoy doing that?

00:50:37.000 Is it fun?

00:50:38.000 Well, that was like what I was doing all through the pandemic.

00:50:44.000 Yeah?

00:50:44.000 Yeah.

00:50:45.000 Because clubs were closed, and TV was closed, and so I would do those.

00:50:51.000 Yeah.

00:50:51.000 And you can make good money doing those?

00:50:54.000 Yeah.

00:50:54.000 It depends on...

00:50:56.000 Sometimes you have busy days, sometimes less.

00:50:59.000 But it's one of those where you could...

00:51:01.000 There were times I just had a shirt on and no pants.

00:51:07.000 I just...

00:51:07.000 Put it up.

00:51:10.000 And yeah, so cameo.com slash Gilbert Gottfried.

00:51:15.000 Oh, you're doing Skankfest.

00:51:17.000 I am?

00:51:21.000 Yes, Skankfest.

00:51:22.000 That's hilarious.

00:51:22.000 That's the one in use.

00:51:24.000 Yeah, the guys who were here yesterday, Ari Shafir, Shane Gillis, and Mark Norman were on yesterday, and they're headed down to Skankfest today.

00:51:33.000 Yeah.

00:51:34.000 You could have rode down with them.

00:51:35.000 Yeah.

00:51:37.000 So that wasn't even a joke there that I didn't know.

00:51:42.000 Didn't know.

00:51:42.000 Yeah.

00:51:42.000 Who handles all your stuff?

00:51:44.000 Your wife?

00:51:44.000 Does she take care of everything?

00:51:45.000 Right now my wife.

00:51:46.000 Because it seems like the agencies are falling apart.

00:51:50.000 Because a lot of them are falling apart.

00:51:51.000 Yeah.

00:51:52.000 Well, they just didn't have anybody working for over a year.

00:51:55.000 Yeah.

00:51:56.000 And the funny thing that the pandemic showed me is without agents, my career hasn't been that much worse.

00:52:05.000 Yeah.

00:52:08.000 Well, if you have someone like your wife that can take care of everything, it's probably better to not know where you're going. 1.00

00:52:15.000 Yeah.

00:52:15.000 Just don't think about it.

00:52:16.000 Just show up.

00:52:17.000 Yeah, somebody just tell...

00:52:18.000 Well, it always gets me when, you know, they'll show, to get a laugh, they'll show a politician or a singer on stage who says, I love you, Ohio, and then it turns out they weren't in Ohio.

00:52:36.000 See, I don't laugh at that because when I'm doing clubs, I'll be walking through the city, and I don't know what city I'm in, and people will recognize me and ask me, oh, where are you playing?

00:52:50.000 I won't know the name of the club.

00:52:54.000 Well, good thing nowadays they can actually find it.

00:52:57.000 They can just Google it.

00:52:58.000 Yes, yes.

00:52:58.000 Yeah, it's not that hard to take that extra step.

00:53:00.000 But yeah, that's a weird feeling when you wake up in a hotel room and you stare at the ceiling and you forget where you are.

00:53:07.000 Oh, absolutely.

00:53:08.000 That happens a lot.

00:53:09.000 And I get these dreams where sometimes I'll be home and I'll get to dream like that I'm there and I have to find some way of getting home.

00:53:24.000 Oh, interesting.

00:53:25.000 And so I'll get mixed up with my dreams, or you're sleeping and you think you're home, and then you go, this bed feels different.

00:53:36.000 I don't know why.

00:53:37.000 And you reach for the lamp and go, wait a minute, the lamp was always on this side.

00:53:43.000 Why can't I find it?

00:53:45.000 And Then you turn it on.

00:53:46.000 It's like, whoa, a different place.

00:53:49.000 When you go on the road, do you just do weekends in places?

00:53:52.000 How often were you going on the road for?

00:53:55.000 Oh, I used to.

00:53:57.000 It used to be like every week.

00:53:59.000 Every week at different clubs somewhere?

00:54:01.000 Yeah.

00:54:01.000 And I would do those ones that would be from Thursday through Sunday.

00:54:07.000 Oh, you did those, huh?

00:54:08.000 Yeah.

00:54:09.000 And now I... Now the shortest amount I have to work, I enjoy the most.

00:54:16.000 Yeah, I like weekends.

00:54:17.000 Just Friday, Saturday, back home.

00:54:19.000 Yeah.

00:54:20.000 Those guys that do those Thursday through Sunday gigs, boy, they get tired.

00:54:24.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:54:25.000 By the time Sunday's show rolls around, you're fucking exhausted. 0.96

00:54:29.000 Also, I've done a bunch of shows over the years where it was three shows a night. 1.00

00:54:38.000 And by that third show, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. 0.98

00:54:43.000 You don't remember what you said. 0.99

00:54:45.000 Yeah, you think, did I just say that joke?

00:54:49.000 The joke I'm saying now, did I say it five times already?

00:54:52.000 You don't know.

00:54:54.000 Yeah, it's because once you're in the groove of actually telling your jokes and actually doing your set, you think that you're in the same mindset that you were in two hours earlier for that show and two hours before that. 0.99

00:55:08.000 You don't know what the fuck you're doing. 0.99

00:55:10.000 Yeah! 1.00

00:55:11.000 Yeah, that's a surreal feeling.

00:55:14.000 The only thing that saved me is to have a very specific setlist for those shows.

00:55:19.000 Yeah. 0.84

00:55:20.000 Because sometimes I'll fuck around, I put things out of order. 0.99

00:55:23.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:55:23.000 I can't do that when I have three shows. 0.99

00:55:26.000 Yeah, you have to say, yeah.

00:55:28.000 The butcher shop now.

00:55:31.000 The roller skating one now.

00:55:34.000 Right, right, right.

00:55:35.000 Yeah.

00:55:36.000 Those guys that do those long weeks, and some of them do Wednesday through Sunday, they get tired.

00:55:41.000 They wear out quicker.

00:55:43.000 Yeah.

00:55:43.000 It's not good for you.

00:55:46.000 And also, it's like that weird thing after you do a show.

00:55:51.000 It's like you're exhausted now.

00:55:55.000 But you have too much adrenaline flowing to go to sleep.

00:55:59.000 Yeah.

00:55:59.000 So you're lying there in bed staring up at the ceiling going, oh, I'm going to force myself to sleep.

00:56:07.000 Or worse, you're just watching TV mindlessly.

00:56:10.000 Horrible. 0.88

00:56:10.000 Yeah, staring at that screen and then the blue light from the TV and the screens fucks with your head and then you can't sleep. 0.88

00:56:17.000 And then especially like when you work in Vegas, they don't want to give you good channels to watch.

00:56:24.000 Right, right.

00:56:25.000 So...

00:56:26.000 Yeah, it's...

00:56:29.000 And then I'll be switching around the channels, and it's like, I'll go, okay, this I really don't like, but it's less awful than the other things I was clicking on.

00:56:43.000 Do you bring people with you when you go on the road, or do you just accept the local acts?

00:56:48.000 Usually it's just been me, yeah.

00:56:51.000 And so whatever they have that opens for you, you just accept it?

00:56:54.000 Yeah, usually because they'll say, oh, what do you think of the opening?

00:57:01.000 Sometimes I'll have opening acts a lot.

00:57:04.000 They'll go, oh, can you watch my set and tell me what you think?

00:57:07.000 And I never watch other comics.

00:57:09.000 Yeah, that's a big ask.

00:57:12.000 Like, if you're friends with a guy and he says, can you watch my set, that's one thing.

00:57:16.000 But if you don't even know the guy and he wants you to be a consultant on his material, like, come on, buddy.

00:57:21.000 And it's also that thing of, you know, when you've been doing comedy a while, the very best you could ask for in watching a bit is, ah, that was clever.

00:57:33.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:57:35.000 What year do you start?

00:57:36.000 Oh, God.

00:57:40.000 I think it was the end of the 60s. 1.00

00:57:43.000 No shit. 1.00

00:57:44.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:57:44.000 I was 15 the first time I got up on a stage. 0.99

00:57:48.000 Wow. 1.00

00:57:49.000 And I should know, but I don't, like an idiot. 1.00

00:57:53.000 I should know the first club I worked at. 0.99

00:57:56.000 I don't remember the first club I worked at.

00:57:58.000 Really?

00:57:59.000 You'd think it would be an important event enough to remember, but I don't remember.

00:58:04.000 Well, what were the regular clubs that you worked at back then?

00:58:06.000 Well...

00:58:08.000 First time, it was some club.

00:58:12.000 You went in and signed your name and a book.

00:58:17.000 But of the clubs I've worked over the years, there were the known ones, Catch a Rising Star, The Improv, Comic Strip, Bitter End.

00:58:32.000 And then there'd be like a million of these clubs that would open for like two weeks.

00:58:38.000 And you'd be like looking out for any place you could work for no money.

00:58:43.000 In the late 60s, were there actual comedy clubs?

00:58:47.000 Or were they like variety clubs?

00:58:49.000 I think that came later or something.

00:58:53.000 Also, I remember in...

00:58:58.000 Comedy clubs used to have singers also.

00:59:02.000 And like, well, you know, Pat Benatar and Patty Smythe both came out of comedy clubs.

00:59:11.000 Really?

00:59:11.000 Yeah, they both used to pop up at Catch.

00:59:14.000 And I remember, you know, it was not uncommon.

00:59:20.000 You'd walk into a comedy club and you'd hear, you know, everything has its season, everything has its time.

00:59:30.000 And this was in the 70s?

00:59:32.000 Yeah.

00:59:33.000 Yeah.

00:59:34.000 70s, 80s, yeah.

00:59:36.000 Well, 80s, I think it started to make it more just...

00:59:40.000 No, they still had some singers there.

00:59:43.000 So what was like the first club, the first actual stand-up club in the city?

00:59:49.000 Was it the improv?

00:59:50.000 Was it catch?

00:59:51.000 I think the improv would be the oldest of those, but I mean before then...

00:59:58.000 So that was the early 70s?

01:00:00.000 Yeah, I would think so.

01:00:02.000 Maybe it could have been even in the 60s.

01:00:05.000 I don't know when improv started.

01:00:08.000 And then Catch a Rising Star came after that.

01:00:11.000 That was the first place I did in the city.

01:00:13.000 Yeah.

01:00:13.000 And then there was all the other ones, you know, The Cellar and Dangerfields.

01:00:19.000 I heard Dangerfields went under recently.

01:00:21.000 Yes, just recently.

01:00:24.000 I was in New York and we were in a cab and I looked out the window and there's that big awning of Dangerfields and it said like room, you know, space for rent.

01:00:36.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:00:37.000 Yeah.

01:00:38.000 That place was always so weird.

01:00:40.000 Like it was never really packed.

01:00:42.000 Yes.

01:00:43.000 But it was a great room.

01:00:44.000 Yeah.

01:00:45.000 It was an amazing room.

01:00:46.000 Like, I'm wondering if his mob friends were doing business.

01:00:50.000 Most likely.

01:00:52.000 Well, another thing I always thought mob, Grandpa Munster had his own restaurant.

01:00:59.000 Yeah, Grandpa's.

01:01:00.000 It was in Staten Island.

01:01:02.000 And that place, I always think, I'm sure, yeah.

01:01:09.000 They knew some friends.

01:01:11.000 And the chief.

01:01:16.000 From Gilligan's Island.

01:01:18.000 He had his own restaurant.

01:01:20.000 Who was the chief?

01:01:22.000 The skipper?

01:01:23.000 The skipper, not the chief.

01:01:26.000 He had his own club?

01:01:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:01:28.000 What the fuck was that guy's name again? 0.99

01:01:31.000 His father was an actor, too. 1.00

01:01:33.000 I always felt bad for Gilligan, because that poor motherfucker had to wear that hat to the day he died. 1.00

01:01:37.000 Yes. 1.00

01:01:38.000 That was his thing. 1.00

01:01:39.000 He had to wear that stupid hat. 1.00

01:01:41.000 That stupid hat was his thing. 1.00

01:01:43.000 I've been to... 1.00

01:01:44.000 There it is.

01:01:45.000 Alan Hale, Jr. Alan Hale, Jr. Yes.

01:01:48.000 That would have killed me. 1.00

01:01:49.000 And he had to wear his stupid hat, too. 1.00

01:01:51.000 Yes. 1.00

01:01:52.000 There was never a scene where he didn't have that stupid captain's hat on. 1.00

01:01:55.000 And I've done a few of these autograph conventions. 0.99

01:01:59.000 And you'll see these guys, they're like 90, signing autographs, and they'll have their caps or funny hats that their character in TV shows should wear.

01:02:12.000 Maybe Belushi went out the right way.

01:02:14.000 Yes!

01:02:14.000 I definitely think that.

01:02:17.000 Yeah, maybe that's better than just arthritis hand. 1.00

01:02:21.000 Yeah, he was feeling great on drugs, and he was fucking some hooker. 0.99

01:02:27.000 Was he? 0.99

01:02:28.000 Yeah.

01:02:29.000 Congratulations to him.

01:02:30.000 And then we remember him as a legend.

01:02:33.000 I mean, think about how many of the great musicians, rock stars, went out that way.

01:02:37.000 Hendrix, Morrison, Janis Joplin.

01:02:39.000 Oh, and do you know the magic age?

01:02:43.000 27, right?

01:02:44.000 Yes, 27. Wow.

01:02:46.000 That is.

01:02:47.000 Was Amy Winehouse 27 as well?

01:02:48.000 I think so.

01:02:50.000 That's a weird number that just keeps coming up over and over and over again.

01:02:53.000 Yeah.

01:02:54.000 I wonder why.

01:02:55.000 Oh, Amy Winehouse then.

01:02:58.000 I want to name famous Jew rockers.

01:03:04.000 Amy Winehouse was a Jew. 0.92

01:03:06.000 Bob Dylan.

01:03:07.000 Bob Dylan.

01:03:08.000 Bob Simmon.

01:03:10.000 Yeah.

01:03:11.000 Oh, well, the Beastie Boys were Jews. 1.00

01:03:15.000 Slash.

01:03:17.000 Slash is Jewish. 0.97

01:03:18.000 Yeah, Slash.

01:03:18.000 Interesting.

01:03:21.000 Oh, who else of the rock?

01:03:23.000 Oh, well, I guess...

01:03:25.000 Gene Simmons.

01:03:27.000 Neil Diamond.

01:03:28.000 Gene Simmons from Kiss.

01:03:29.000 Oh, yes, yes, of course.

01:03:31.000 They were all Jews, Kiss. 1.00

01:03:35.000 Geddy Lee, Lou Reed, wow!

01:03:37.000 Lou Reed was a joke?

01:03:39.000 David Lee Roth, Billy Joel, Paul Simon, Wow.

01:03:45.000 Neil Diamond.

01:03:45.000 Lenny Kravitz.

01:03:46.000 Lenny Kravitz is Jewish? 0.55

01:03:47.000 Yeah, well, Kravitz.

01:03:50.000 I know, but it just doesn't, you know, you think of him as like a hippie.

01:03:55.000 Adam Levine.

01:03:56.000 Well, yeah.

01:03:57.000 Yeah, well, obviously Levine.

01:03:59.000 Wait, wait, who's the pretty girl there? 1.00

01:04:01.000 Which one?

01:04:02.000 Probably Simon?

01:04:03.000 Oh, Susanna Huff from the Bengals.

01:04:05.000 Oh, yeah, that's right.

01:04:08.000 Wow.

01:04:09.000 Steven Adler from Guns N' Roses.

01:04:11.000 Arlo Guthrie was a Jew. 0.99

01:04:13.000 Adam Duritz.

01:04:14.000 Yeah.

01:04:15.000 Yeah.

01:04:16.000 Interesting.

01:04:16.000 Art Garfunkel.

01:04:17.000 Courtney Love was Jewish? 0.56

01:04:19.000 No kidding.

01:04:20.000 Geez.

01:04:21.000 Wow. 0.90

01:04:22.000 The Jews run everything. 1.00

01:04:23.000 It's true.

01:04:26.000 They're right.

01:04:27.000 The conspiracies are correct.

01:04:28.000 I would have never guessed Lou Reed.

01:04:30.000 Yeah, no, I wouldn't have guessed that one either. 0.92

01:04:33.000 The Jews run everything. 1.00

01:04:34.000 Yes, yes. 0.88

01:04:36.000 I have to admit it myself.

01:04:37.000 How do you guys run it?

01:04:38.000 Do you run it from, is there an organization?

01:04:40.000 Yeah.

01:04:41.000 Or is it just known?

01:04:42.000 We get involved in everything.

01:04:45.000 It's funny how, if you go back to the early days of show business, it really was dominated by Jewish folks.

01:04:51.000 Yes.

01:04:51.000 You know?

01:04:54.000 Lenny Bruce.

01:04:55.000 This is another one of my favorite topics. 1.00

01:05:01.000 Famous Jew pieces of ass. 1.00

01:05:05.000 Okay. 1.00

01:05:06.000 How many really hot Jewish ladies? 1.00

01:05:08.000 Yeah.

01:05:09.000 Okay.

01:05:09.000 Give me them.

01:05:10.000 Natalie Portman.

01:05:12.000 There you go.

01:05:13.000 Scarlett Johansson.

01:05:14.000 Scarlett Johansson?

01:05:15.000 Yeah.

01:05:16.000 Mila Kunis.

01:05:18.000 Oh, Ringo's wife, Barbara Bach.

01:05:22.000 I don't know who that was.

01:05:23.000 Yeah, she was a famous model. 1.00

01:05:25.000 Look up Barbara Bach. 0.82

01:05:27.000 Maybe you can get her Playboy pictures.

01:05:29.000 Oh, boy.

01:05:31.000 This is getting racy, as they say. 0.99

01:05:33.000 We could jerk off to a woman who's in her 90s. 1.00

01:05:37.000 Is she in her 90s now? 0.98

01:05:38.000 I don't know.

01:05:38.000 Is she still kicking?

01:05:39.000 Yeah.

01:05:40.000 That's got to be rough when a lady loses that. 1.00

01:05:42.000 You have this immense power over everyone just by your mere presence.

01:05:46.000 Yes.

01:05:46.000 And then it just goes away.

01:05:48.000 That's her back in the day. 0.73

01:05:49.000 Yes.

01:05:50.000 Woof! 0.98

01:05:50.000 Look at her face. 0.98

01:05:51.000 Yeah.

01:05:51.000 Look at that picture in the middle.

01:05:53.000 Yeah, look at that.

01:05:53.000 God, she's gorgeous.

01:05:55.000 Oh.

01:05:56.000 Woof! 0.98

01:05:56.000 She's so pretty. 0.98

01:05:57.000 See, Ringo, the one they all laugh at, look what he winds up with.

01:06:03.000 Wow.

01:06:04.000 Good job, Ringo. 0.99

01:06:05.000 Meanwhile, Paul McCartney, what the fuck? 1.00

01:06:08.000 That poor bastard. 1.00

01:06:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:06:10.000 Yeah, that lady that he married with one leg, what a fucking monster she was. 1.00

01:06:15.000 Like, even I can find women to fuck who have two legs. 1.00

01:06:20.000 Well, if she had one leg and she was nice, that would be great. 1.00

01:06:23.000 Yes.

01:06:24.000 But there was some...

01:06:25.000 When he was breaking up with her and she was blackmailing him or threatening to come out with... 1.00

01:06:31.000 Major fucking bitch. 1.00

01:06:31.000 She knows so much about him. 1.00

01:06:34.000 Like, what do you know? 1.00

01:06:36.000 What the fuck? 0.99

01:06:36.000 Paul McCartney? 0.99

01:06:37.000 Yeah.

01:06:38.000 Like, go ahead and talk.

01:06:39.000 No one's going to listen to you.

01:06:41.000 But he gave her some insane amount of money for a very short relationship.

01:06:46.000 Oh, I heard it's something like 275 million.

01:06:51.000 Yeah, and it was a short relationship.

01:06:53.000 Yeah.

01:06:53.000 They had a child together, though, right?

01:06:55.000 Didn't they?

01:06:55.000 I think so.

01:06:56.000 Yeah, if you're a monster and you want to rope a man in, that's what you do. 0.96

01:07:01.000 Have a child with him, then you got him. 0.99

01:07:03.000 No prenup, probably, because he was a knucklehead.

01:07:08.000 Unfortunately, his situation was he had a relationship with his wife, I guess.

01:07:12.000 This is what I'm hearing.

01:07:13.000 I don't know anything about him.

01:07:14.000 But that he had a great relationship with his first wife.

01:07:18.000 He loved her, and then she died.

01:07:20.000 Yes.

01:07:21.000 Oh, that was...

01:07:22.000 Linda.

01:07:24.000 Linda Eastman.

01:07:26.000 Yeah.

01:07:26.000 So he was probably used to that being the kind of relationship that he had.

01:07:31.000 Yeah.

01:07:31.000 Like a really great relationship.

01:07:33.000 He could trust her and everything.

01:07:34.000 So he probably assumed, oh, I found another one.

01:07:37.000 We're going to be okay.

01:07:38.000 This is my new love of my life.

01:07:41.000 Yes. 0.99

01:07:41.000 And then she turned out to be a monster. 0.99

01:07:44.000 I remember listening to an interview with her talking about him. 0.94

01:07:46.000 I'm like, Jesus Christ, listen to this lady. 1.00

01:07:48.000 Oh, she was fucking horrible. 1.00

01:07:51.000 Judge berates Heather Mills. 0.99

01:07:53.000 The judge and Paul McCartney's divorce settlement berated the former Beatles' estranged wife, Heather Mills, for giving inconsistent and inaccurate evidence according to the details of the ruling released on Tuesday.

01:08:05.000 If I was him, I would have dragged that divorce out to the end of time.

01:08:11.000 I would have.

01:08:12.000 I would have lost money for spite.

01:08:13.000 I would have been like, let's have a game.

01:08:15.000 Oh, and here's another article. 1.00

01:08:18.000 Judge Cole's Heather Mills a fucking cunt. 1.00

01:08:22.000 Is that what he said? 1.00

01:08:23.000 Is that what he said?

01:08:24.000 No.

01:08:25.000 What is the number?

01:08:26.000 She asked for $250 and she ended up getting $48.7.

01:08:30.000 Imagine asking someone you were married for a couple years, asking for $250 million. 0.99

01:08:37.000 Hey, you fucked me for like 12 months. 0.99

01:08:39.000 I want a quarter of a billion. 1.00

01:08:41.000 How great was her pussy that she could charge? 1.00

01:08:45.000 It wasn't that good. 1.00

01:08:46.000 I'm going to tell you right now.

01:08:47.000 There's no way.

01:08:48.000 Couldn't be that good. 1.00

01:08:50.000 No, the pussy's... 1.00

01:08:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:08:52.000 It's just...

01:08:52.000 It's normal.

01:08:53.000 Yeah.

01:08:54.000 It's great.

01:08:54.000 I'm sure it's great.

01:08:55.000 Yeah.

01:08:56.000 It's fine.

01:08:57.000 But not a quarter billion dollars. 0.99

01:08:59.000 You know how many fucking songs he had to sing to make a quarter billion? 0.99

01:09:02.000 God, yeah. 1.00

01:09:03.000 She also conducted her own defense. 1.00

01:09:05.000 Oh, that bitch was so crazy. 1.00

01:09:08.000 Oh. 1.00

01:09:08.000 But she made away with $48 million. 1.00

01:09:10.000 Yeah, so she wasn't that stupid. 1.00

01:09:13.000 You monster. 1.00

01:09:14.000 Well, also, if you married somebody that rich, you know, you could get a chimpanzee as your lawyer and you'll wind up with a fortune. 0.99

01:09:23.000 Yeah, you'll get something.

01:09:24.000 You'll get a nice slice.

01:09:25.000 I mean, the Beatles were like billionaires, right?

01:09:28.000 Yeah.

01:09:28.000 At the time they died?

01:09:31.000 And why did everybody make fun of Ringo?

01:09:33.000 Why was he the joke?

01:09:35.000 I don't know.

01:09:36.000 They all thought, you know, the other three, they were named, you know, great musicians, and he's just, you know, goofy-looking guy playing drums.

01:09:46.000 People didn't respect drummers for a long time.

01:09:48.000 Yeah.

01:09:49.000 Yeah.

01:09:49.000 I don't know why.

01:09:51.000 Drummers just, they got a bad rap.

01:09:53.000 It was the guy out there in the front with the guitar and the singer.

01:09:56.000 Those are the guys you wanted to be.

01:09:57.000 Oh, yes.

01:09:57.000 Yes.

01:09:58.000 Yeah.

01:09:58.000 Maybe if you were a low-key, you could be the bass player.

01:10:00.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:10:02.000 But that fucking idiot with the drums? 1.00

01:10:04.000 Nobody respected. 1.00

01:10:04.000 Until they did. 1.00

01:10:06.000 And then, you know, somewhere along the line, guys like, you know, like, who are the great drummers?

01:10:11.000 Oh, there was that one-armed drummer.

01:10:13.000 Oh, from Def Leppard.

01:10:15.000 Yes, yes.

01:10:15.000 Yeah, he lost his arm in a car crash.

01:10:16.000 Yes.

01:10:17.000 Yeah.

01:10:18.000 There's been, you know, drummers are very respected now, though.

01:10:21.000 Phil Collins was a drummer, right?

01:10:23.000 Oh, yeah.

01:10:24.000 Yeah.

01:10:26.000 Yeah.

01:10:26.000 Tommy Lee from Motley Crue.

01:10:30.000 Singer, drummer, Karen Carpenter.

01:10:34.000 Really?

01:10:34.000 Yeah.

01:10:35.000 Travis Barker, of course.

01:10:36.000 He's famous for being a drummer.

01:10:38.000 Yeah, he's like the most famous guy, yeah, of the bands he's been in, and he's a drummer.

01:10:45.000 That's interesting, right?

01:10:46.000 It's like some drummers break through for whatever reason.

01:10:51.000 There's an old joke.

01:10:54.000 Why is a drum solo like a sneeze?

01:11:00.000 You know it's coming, but there's nothing you could do to stop it.

01:11:06.000 Solos were a big part of performances, right?

01:11:09.000 Yeah, and that drum thing would be, oh, he's got a lot of energy.

01:11:14.000 Yeah, look at him, banging on those drums.

01:11:16.000 Wow, he really...

01:11:19.000 The guitar solo was always better.

01:11:21.000 Yeah.

01:11:22.000 But then there's guitar solos that are planned out.

01:11:25.000 That was one of the interesting things about Leonard Skinner.

01:11:28.000 When they did a guitar solo, it was orchestrated.

01:11:32.000 Every single part of that solo was prepped.

01:11:36.000 Like for Freebird, which is one of the most amazing guitar solos in the history of music.

01:11:46.000 That is all completely planned out.

01:11:49.000 Like every single note is completely planned out.

01:11:53.000 And they repeated it over and over again live in concert.

01:11:56.000 Yeah.

01:11:57.000 It's interesting, because most guitar solos, the guy would just start riffing and going off.

01:12:02.000 Yeah, just whatever hits him.

01:12:04.000 Yeah, not that.

01:12:05.000 I'm sure there are a lot of ones that, even if they weren't originally planned out, after doing them for years, it looks like the guy's riffing, but his hands are just playing it already.

01:12:20.000 Right, right.

01:12:21.000 Which is how it gets to be like comedy as well, right?

01:12:24.000 Yeah.

01:12:25.000 Yeah.

01:12:26.000 You know, there are those bits you do where it's like, and I'm sure, yeah, with singers and with, you know, stage actors, after a while, you could be doing something dramatic or whatever,

01:12:43.000 and it's like saying the Pledge of Allegiance.

01:12:47.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:12:48.000 They probably just are phoning it in after a while.

01:12:52.000 Unless they're not...

01:12:53.000 Unless they're still enjoying it, you know?

01:12:55.000 I mean, I've been doing stand-up now for 33 years, and one thing that did happen during the pandemic was when I started doing it again, I really...

01:13:08.000 Not that I ever had no appreciation for it, but it reignited my appreciation to an even higher degree.

01:13:15.000 Because having all that time off and it almost went away and now that we're doing shows again, it feels like magic again.

01:13:24.000 It's exciting.

01:13:25.000 Well, it's like – because what I noticed that – you know, like I said, where I said, you know, what bits do I actually do and what am I doing?

01:13:35.000 And then you realize, oh, this is something that I do.

01:13:39.000 This does take effort.

01:13:41.000 Yeah, it does take effort.

01:13:42.000 But it also, to see it as a person in the audience, too.

01:13:47.000 One of the things that I did when I came back is I would sit down and watch my friends do stand-up and enjoy it.

01:13:54.000 I'm like, God, this is fun.

01:13:55.000 This is a great thing to go see.

01:13:58.000 It's an exciting thing to go see.

01:13:59.000 As an art form, as an audience member, it's a very exciting thing to see.

01:14:04.000 It reignited my appreciation for it in a greater way.

01:14:08.000 There's a line, and I think it's network news, that one with William Hurt and I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it.

01:14:22.000 That was network.

01:14:23.000 That was network.

01:14:24.000 But I think this other one was network news.

01:14:28.000 It's got William Hurt.

01:14:29.000 Hey! 0.99

01:14:31.000 Hey! 1.00

01:14:32.000 What the fuck are you doing over there? 1.00

01:14:34.000 Hey! 1.00

01:14:35.000 Hey! 0.99

01:14:39.000 Network news.

01:14:41.000 Is that it?

01:14:41.000 There it is.

01:14:42.000 Broadcast news.

01:14:43.000 Broadcast news.

01:14:44.000 There's one part where William Hurt is teaching Albert Brooks how to do the news.

01:14:52.000 And he says, when you find yourself just reading it, stop.

01:14:58.000 And he goes, you sell people the news.

01:15:01.000 And it's like, if it's a...

01:15:03.000 I understood it exactly, because if it's a bit you've been doing for a while, you're like...

01:15:10.000 And then you've got to go, oh, wait, wait, let me actually perform this.

01:15:19.000 Yes.

01:15:20.000 Yeah.

01:15:21.000 Well, the thing about comedy to me has always been, if I care about what I'm saying, then it's going to be good.

01:15:27.000 Yeah.

01:15:28.000 But if I don't care about what I'm saying, the audience is going to know.

01:15:31.000 They smell it.

01:15:32.000 They smell it.

01:15:33.000 Right?

01:15:34.000 Yeah.

01:15:34.000 When you were 15, when you started, had you been a fan of watching comedy before you did it?

01:15:40.000 Well, I was just a fan of show business and actors and comics.

01:15:49.000 So I started watching people on TV and imitating them.

01:15:54.000 And so when I first, the first couple of years, like maybe two, three years that I was doing it, I wasn't that different than like, you know, when they used to have impressionists,

01:16:10.000 you know, Rich Little, Frank Ocean, Will Jordan.

01:16:16.000 And, you know, that, uh, hey, you know, which was always like, uh, and imagine if your waiter was Cary Grant, it might go something like this.

01:16:28.000 That was a lot of people's acts back then.

01:16:30.000 Yeah.

01:16:31.000 And, and you don't see, with the exception of Las Vegas, you'll see impressionists.

01:16:37.000 Yeah.

01:16:38.000 But you don't see them on TV. There used to be all those guys.

01:16:42.000 There used to be prop guys too.

01:16:43.000 Yes, yes.

01:16:45.000 But then Carrot Top became so successful that he owns props now.

01:16:50.000 Yes!

01:16:50.000 He's the only prop guy.

01:16:52.000 It's kind of amazing what he's done.

01:16:54.000 It really is.

01:16:55.000 He's taking over the prop genre.

01:16:57.000 It is all carrot top.

01:16:59.000 People joke and insult him, but boy, he does own props.

01:17:04.000 He's a funny guy.

01:17:05.000 They shouldn't insult him.

01:17:06.000 He's a nice guy.

01:17:07.000 He's a funny guy.

01:17:08.000 He is.

01:17:08.000 He's very prolific, and he's been doing his show out of Vegas for...

01:17:15.000 God, I want to say like 15 years now.

01:17:18.000 Solid.

01:17:18.000 It's always packed.

01:17:19.000 And he's one of those people, like, there are those lists of people who you feel like, oh, they have to be insulted.

01:17:27.000 They're no good.

01:17:28.000 Well, it's like Nickelback.

01:17:30.000 Like, it's an easy punchline.

01:17:32.000 Like, even though Nickelback has some songs that you might actually enjoy. 0.62

01:17:36.000 When you want to shit on a band for being like a top 40 sort of, you know, cookie cutter band, you go with Nickelback, and it's like...

01:17:44.000 It's one of those... 0.98

01:17:47.000 Yes!

01:17:47.000 Yeah.

01:17:48.000 Or like, I don't know who Anne Hathaway killed...

01:17:53.000 We have to hate Anne Hathaway. 0.89

01:17:56.000 She killed somebody? 1.00

01:17:57.000 No, I mean, it feels like it.

01:18:00.000 People don't like Anne Hathaway? 0.87

01:18:01.000 Yeah.

01:18:02.000 Oh, Anne Hathaway.

01:18:02.000 I've never heard that before.

01:18:03.000 Oh, she was a famous person to hate for the longest time.

01:18:09.000 Really?

01:18:09.000 Yeah.

01:18:10.000 And I'm thinking...

01:18:12.000 She's, you know, really pretty girl.

01:18:15.000 She's a good actress. 0.94

01:18:17.000 And what school bus did she blow up?

01:18:21.000 And yeah, she used to be a famous one. 1.00

01:18:25.000 Also, somebody got me tickets to see Barry Manilow.

01:18:31.000 Another one you're supposed to hate.

01:18:33.000 You're supposed to hate Barry Manilow.

01:18:35.000 And I thought, this is a good show.

01:18:37.000 Listen, he's got a lot of fans for a reason.

01:18:39.000 Yeah.

01:18:40.000 Yeah.

01:18:40.000 Same thing like I saw Wayne Newton live, and I thought that was a great joke.

01:18:46.000 I met Wayne Newton once.

01:18:48.000 I've never seen him live, but I just wish I was his friend and tell him to slow down.

01:18:53.000 Whatever you're doing with your face.

01:18:56.000 Slow down.

01:18:57.000 That's not helping.

01:18:59.000 You just look different.

01:19:00.000 You don't look better.

01:19:02.000 Especially as a man, just get older.

01:19:06.000 Don't do that.

01:19:08.000 I predict that eventually, years from now, they'll have it where you age till you're like 20, and then it stops.

01:19:19.000 You stop aging after that.

01:19:22.000 Yes, for sure.

01:19:23.000 And then they'll probably actually be able to take you from where you're at right now and bring you back to like when you're 20. Yeah.

01:19:30.000 Yeah.

01:19:31.000 When you're in your prime.

01:19:32.000 Or grow a whole new you.

01:19:35.000 And then pull your head out.

01:19:36.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:19:36.000 And then put your brain in the other one. 0.99

01:19:38.000 Yes.

01:19:39.000 But then you get Alzheimer's in the 20-year-old body.

01:19:41.000 Imagine that. 1.00

01:19:42.000 Like, shit. 1.00

01:19:43.000 We haven't perfected it yet. 1.00

01:19:44.000 Yeah.

01:19:45.000 Yeah.

01:19:45.000 Now I've got loads of energy...

01:19:49.000 There's a lot of doctors and scientists and researchers that are looking at aging as a disease instead of looking at it as just inevitability.

01:19:58.000 They're thinking it's a disease that everybody has.

01:20:01.000 And treating it that way, they can, instead of saying, oh, it's inevitable, let's just prolong your health as long as possible.

01:20:08.000 Yeah, cure this disease.

01:20:09.000 Yeah, they're trying to cure it and they're trying to make it so that as your cells regenerate and as you replicate that you don't have errors.

01:20:20.000 That's what liver spots are and when your skin loses collagen and all the things that turn you into an older person.

01:20:27.000 They're trying to figure out ways to mitigate that.

01:20:30.000 See, that's one of those things, like, whenever I go to a doctor or a dentist, I always think, for this visit, can I take a time machine a thousand years from now?

01:20:45.000 In the future, right.

01:20:46.000 Yeah, where it's like, where you'll go in, and it's like, you'll go, oh, I need heart surgery.

01:20:54.000 And I'll go, heart surgery?

01:20:56.000 That's so medieval.

01:20:59.000 Yeah.

01:20:59.000 Here, let's shine this light on you and you'll be fine.

01:21:03.000 Yeah, they'll just put you in a scanner.

01:21:05.000 It'll find everything that's wrong and then just repair it from outside.

01:21:09.000 Yes, and more and more they're doing it where they treat the fetus and they can examine what you're likely to get, what diseases.

01:21:20.000 Really?

01:21:21.000 Yeah, they're doing more and more work like that nowadays.

01:21:24.000 The thing that scares me about that is like, what if you find out that your kid has a potential for a disease and you decide to abort it?

01:21:32.000 Ah, that's, yeah, that's gonna bring a lot of...

01:21:37.000 Ethical questions.

01:21:38.000 Yes.

01:21:39.000 Yeah, because if you find out early on that you're, like, maybe the fetus is only, like, 15 weeks old or 12 weeks old or something like that.

01:21:49.000 Oh, that...

01:21:50.000 Well, 12 was three months.

01:21:52.000 Like, let's say, what is the awful abortion law in Texas? 0.99

01:21:56.000 I think it was six weeks, which everybody thought was insane, and I agree, because it's like six weeks is like that big.

01:22:03.000 Yeah.

01:22:04.000 But what if they found out somehow or another?

01:22:07.000 Like, I know that some women are preemptively having their breasts removed. 1.00

01:22:12.000 Because they have the gene that may lead to breast cancer. 0.99

01:22:16.000 So no thing wrong with their breasts. 1.00

01:22:19.000 I think, what's her name?

01:22:21.000 Angelina Jolie.

01:22:22.000 Angelina Jolie and didn't also Christine Applegate?

01:22:27.000 Did she do that as well? 0.83

01:22:28.000 I think so.

01:22:29.000 Mmm, it's a tough call.

01:22:32.000 I mean, breast cancer is horrible, but is there a way to avoid it?

01:22:37.000 I mean, I don't know.

01:22:38.000 I don't know what would avoid something. 0.73

01:22:40.000 Like, I had a guy in here a couple days ago, Rob Kearney, who's a strong man, like a just big fucking manly guy, had ball cancer out of nowhere. 0.83

01:22:50.000 And he said it spread so fast, and he had to get one of his testicles removed. 0.98

01:22:55.000 Oh, geez. 0.98

01:22:57.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:22:58.000 Nothing wrong with him.

01:22:59.000 Super healthy.

01:23:00.000 Eats well.

01:23:01.000 Super fit.

01:23:02.000 Big, strong, powerful guy.

01:23:04.000 That's the thing that always gets me when I'll hear someone I know died.

01:23:10.000 And I'll say, oh, well, how old was he?

01:23:13.000 And you're waiting for them to say, oh, he was 98. Yeah.

01:23:17.000 And then you find out he's much younger than you thought he was, and I'll go, but he drank and did drugs, right?

01:23:25.000 No, never touched it.

01:23:26.000 Yeah, sometimes people just have a genetic thing, and things stop working, and it just shuts off, and then they die. 0.95

01:23:34.000 Yeah, it sucks. 0.61

01:23:35.000 So this has been a fun interview. 0.96

01:23:37.000 Fun show!

01:23:39.000 When you were a little kid, who were the comics that inspired you to start doing stand-ups?

01:23:44.000 So many!

01:23:46.000 I always thought inspired meant plagiarized, but...

01:23:50.000 That was the old days.

01:23:52.000 Yeah.

01:23:52.000 There was a lot of plagiarism back in those days, right?

01:23:55.000 It's funny.

01:23:55.000 You talk about it now.

01:23:57.000 Oh, this guy's a joke thief. 0.76

01:23:59.000 That guy...

01:23:59.000 Back then, I think there were about like a hundred people doing who's on first.

01:24:06.000 Right.

01:24:08.000 And...

01:24:09.000 There was no accountability back then.

01:24:12.000 No, no.

01:24:12.000 Couldn't get in trouble.

01:24:13.000 Yeah.

01:24:16.000 But yeah, I remember the old guys were still around, like Jack Benny, Groucho.

01:24:23.000 Did you get to see Groucho live?

01:24:24.000 I did.

01:24:25.000 I saw it at Carnegie Hall.

01:24:28.000 Wow.

01:24:29.000 I mean, granted, he was...

01:24:31.000 See, that's the groucho I became the most...

01:24:33.000 I mean, I loved the Marx Brothers movies, except, you know, they hit a point where their movies were really...

01:24:41.000 had grown horrible.

01:24:44.000 Oh, really?

01:24:44.000 Yeah.

01:24:44.000 Yeah, the first couple of movies with Paramount, you know, Horse Feathers, Animal Crackers, and Duck Soup, great.

01:24:54.000 And then, yeah.

01:24:56.000 Oh, but I got fascinated with Groucho after I hadn't seen him for years on TV. And I never met him.

01:25:10.000 I hadn't seen him come on TV for years.

01:25:13.000 And then you would see him pop up on like the Dick Cavett show.

01:25:18.000 And it would be like...

01:25:21.000 Well, I remember when we would play at a theater, and a theater was a place where performers would go on stage and an audience would watch them.

01:25:40.000 I went on after Richard Pryor.

01:25:43.000 I followed Richard Pryor for like five or six weeks at the comedy store when he was in a wheelchair.

01:25:49.000 And so they would carry him to the stage and set him down and they would crank the mic way up like...

01:25:59.000 Yes, yeah, like you would hear the mic was cranked as loud as it could and he was a shell of himself Yeah, he was dying.

01:26:07.000 Yeah, he was on all kinds of medication and he was drinking yeah, and he would go on stage and he the audience would be so sad and And then I would have to go on after him, and it would take five minutes to get him from the stage to the back of the room.

01:26:24.000 And so while that was happening, I would be on stage.

01:26:27.000 Yeah, so everything you're doing for at least the first three quarters of your act.

01:26:33.000 The first couple minutes are rough, and you know...

01:26:37.000 I would just try to lighten up the mood a little bit because you could see the people's faces.

01:26:42.000 They were like, oh.

01:26:44.000 Because they were, a lot of them, you would see folks that were a little older that were fans of Richard Pryor when he was in his prime.

01:26:52.000 Oh, yeah.

01:26:52.000 And then they had this opportunity, oh, we got a chance to see Richard Pryor live.

01:26:56.000 Let's go see him.

01:26:57.000 And they thought they were going to go see Richard Pryor.

01:26:59.000 Oh, yes, yes.

01:27:01.000 It was one thing because you were in the presence of a legend.

01:27:04.000 You did have that feeling like, I can't believe I'm around the real Richard Pryor.

01:27:10.000 But to me, it was also incredibly bittersweet because you're seeing him in his last days of life.

01:27:16.000 And I once worked for two weeks.

01:27:21.000 On a movie that was the last of the Gene Wilder, Richard Pryor movies. 1.00

01:27:29.000 It was like beyond a piece of shit. 1.00

01:27:32.000 What was it? 1.00

01:27:33.000 It was called...

01:27:34.000 I didn't make it to the final cut, but it was called Another You.

01:27:39.000 And it was originally being directed by Peter O'Donovich.

01:27:44.000 They fired him.

01:27:47.000 Scrapped old previously shot footage and then got a new director and I heard in LA there was one theater that was just showing it once a day because it wasn't worth the electricity to show it because nobody was seeing it.

01:28:08.000 But what I remember is That's where I met Richard Pryor.

01:28:16.000 Very weak, of course.

01:28:18.000 He could still walk, but very weak.

01:28:21.000 But he treated me like he was a little kid, meaning like the biggest movie star in the world.

01:28:29.000 Really?

01:28:30.000 Yeah.

01:28:30.000 And he was, oh, you're super funny.

01:28:33.000 You're so funny that even if you don't want to be funny, you'll be funny.

01:28:39.000 And I thought, this is unbelievable.

01:28:42.000 Just to be around them and have them say that to you.

01:28:44.000 Yeah.

01:28:45.000 There's something about being around those guys that are legends.

01:28:48.000 It's an amazing feeling.

01:28:50.000 Because there are those people, when you see people, some people in person where you go, Wait a minute.

01:28:57.000 They actually exist in real life?

01:29:00.000 Yes, exactly.

01:29:01.000 I felt that way the first time I met Eddie Murphy.

01:29:04.000 Yeah.

01:29:04.000 I was friends with his brother, Charlie, and Charlie and I did a tour together, and it was just randomly.

01:29:12.000 I was in Maui at a hotel with my family.

01:29:16.000 We were checking in, and I see Charlie's cousin.

01:29:19.000 And I'm like, what's up?

01:29:20.000 And I'm saying hi to him.

01:29:22.000 And I go, is Charlie here?

01:29:24.000 He goes, yeah.

01:29:25.000 He goes, Charlie's down with Eddie.

01:29:26.000 He goes, come meet him.

01:29:28.000 And I went over and they were having lunch.

01:29:31.000 And I sat down with Eddie Murphy.

01:29:34.000 And I'm looking at Eddie Murphy and I shake his hand.

01:29:37.000 Nice to meet you. 1.00

01:29:37.000 He goes, you're a funny motherfucker. 1.00

01:29:39.000 And I was like, you know who I am? 1.00

01:29:41.000 I was like, this can't be real!

01:29:43.000 How is this real?

01:29:44.000 You think I'm funny and you know who I am.

01:29:46.000 I'm like, this is wild!

01:29:47.000 And I remember I was on cloud nine for the rest of the day.

01:29:50.000 I couldn't believe it.

01:29:52.000 One time I was getting on a plane and a few miles down from me I saw George Carlin.

01:30:02.000 Well, yeah, he was a few hours ahead of me, and I'd never met him before, so I didn't want to bother him, and I sat down, and then he gets up from his chair, and he looks at me and is walking toward me,

01:30:17.000 and I got so excited.

01:30:19.000 I thought, George Carlin, he wants to talk to me.

01:30:22.000 And he comes over to me, and he says, I gotta work on some stuff.

01:30:28.000 I'm writing, I gotta read something, and then I'm gonna take a nap so I can talk to you.

01:30:34.000 And he walked... 1.00

01:30:36.000 It was like, basically, he went out of his way to tell me to go fuck myself. 1.00

01:30:43.000 Wasn't he just being courteous? 1.00

01:30:45.000 Yeah.

01:30:45.000 Because otherwise he would have said, I would talk to you.

01:30:47.000 Yes.

01:30:48.000 Yeah.

01:30:48.000 But when it was getting near the end of the flight, when they announced that we're gonna be descending soon...

01:30:57.000 He came over to me again, and he scribbled his phone number down on a piece of paper, and he said to me, next time you're appearing on TV, I want you to call me and tell me,

01:31:12.000 because I want to see what's going on in that brain of yours. 1.00

01:31:19.000 And that was like, holy fuck. 1.00

01:31:23.000 Yeah, I saw him perform live a few times. 0.99

01:31:26.000 I saw him perform live in New Hampshire when I was like 21 in like 1988. I saw him there, and I saw him at the Comedy Store later, and I ran into him once at the Comedy Store, and he was so unassuming.

01:31:40.000 Yes.

01:31:40.000 He just walked by, said hi to everybody, hello, hello.

01:31:43.000 It's like real friendly, easy, and just was there to do his work, and super nice guy.

01:31:49.000 And the funny thing is, I had, you know, George Carlin's number, which, and I thought, that was like a tremendous thrill.

01:31:57.000 George Carlin's a fan.

01:32:00.000 I thought, this is unbelievable.

01:32:02.000 I also met Jonathan Winters, and he gave me his phone number, and I didn't call either one of them, because I've had those...

01:32:16.000 You know what it's like?

01:32:17.000 A couple of celebrities who've given me their numbers, it's like...

01:32:21.000 We meet and they're my best friend in the whole world.

01:32:25.000 We hit it off like lifelong pals.

01:32:27.000 And then you call them and you go, Hi, it's Gilbert.

01:32:31.000 Oh, hello.

01:32:35.000 It wore off.

01:32:37.000 Yes.

01:32:38.000 It's kind of, to me, it's like...

01:32:40.000 When you meet a girl and you get her phone number and she's like, oh, here's my number.

01:32:47.000 Don't lose this.

01:32:48.000 Don't lose this.

01:32:49.000 And if I'm not at this number, here's my other number.

01:32:53.000 Please call me, call me, call me.

01:32:55.000 You're all excited.

01:32:56.000 And then you call them up and you go, hi, you know, remember we met at Joe's party?

01:33:03.000 And it's like, oh, yeah.

01:33:06.000 LAUGHTER I think some celebrities just get exhausted by people wanting things from them.

01:33:15.000 Oh, I'm sure.

01:33:16.000 Absolutely.

01:33:17.000 Just you constantly...

01:33:18.000 Someone thinks that they can get further up the show business ladder just by being friends with you, being around you.

01:33:25.000 That's why when they act normal, it's so refreshing.

01:33:30.000 Well, it's like when people come up to me and say, could you give me some advice or some pointers?

01:33:38.000 I always feel like underneath it is like, can you press that button that makes me a star?

01:33:46.000 Can you help me?

01:33:47.000 Yes.

01:33:48.000 Give me a lift up.

01:33:50.000 Yeah.

01:33:50.000 Which doesn't exist.

01:33:52.000 Yeah.

01:33:52.000 No one can do that.

01:33:54.000 It's like I think they'll look at you when you're known and they'll think, oh, you know, somebody sprinkled some dust on you, magic dust, and you immediately became known.

01:34:08.000 And you'll be able to tell me how I can do that.

01:34:10.000 Yes, yes, where I can get this dust from and I'll sprinkle on myself.

01:34:16.000 Yeah.

01:34:16.000 Well, I think people are just looking for shortcuts all the time, right?

01:34:19.000 Oh, yeah.

01:34:19.000 Yeah.

01:34:20.000 And I think that's also one of the reasons why celebrities are a little standoffish.

01:34:25.000 Even when they meet other celebrities, you know, I think they just get...

01:34:28.000 But then sometimes they feel like those are the only people that they know, that they can talk to.

01:34:33.000 Like, I feel like, uh, who can the cast of Friends talk to?

01:34:40.000 Right, right.

01:34:42.000 They're all oddly famous.

01:34:44.000 Yeah.

01:34:44.000 In a weird way.

01:34:47.000 One of the weirdest celebrity encounters I ever had was Robin Williams.

01:34:51.000 He came to one of my shows by himself and I didn't know it was him until a few minutes into talking to him.

01:34:59.000 He had a big crazy beard and a baseball hat on and I was doing this little meet and greet after the show and I'm just talking to this guy.

01:35:08.000 And he's like, I really like that bit.

01:35:10.000 I really love this.

01:35:11.000 I loved how you did this and that.

01:35:12.000 And then I'm in the middle of talking to him. 0.98

01:35:14.000 I'm like, holy shit, this is Robin Williams. 0.99

01:35:16.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:35:17.000 I didn't realize it until like a couple minutes into talking to him.

01:35:21.000 I just was talking to him like he was just a regular guy.

01:35:23.000 And he acted like a regular guy.

01:35:25.000 Oh, yeah.

01:35:28.000 There were a couple of times at those clubs.

01:35:31.000 He would pop into those clubs all the time.

01:35:33.000 And there were a few times he called me up on stage with him to riff with him, which was great.

01:35:40.000 And what I remember most about him, I was at the improv, and I wasn't known at the time.

01:35:49.000 I mean, I was known to the comics and everything like that.

01:35:55.000 And I guess he had seen me a few times there.

01:36:00.000 And so I'm getting ready.

01:36:03.000 They're just about to introduce me.

01:36:04.000 And then the door opens up and Robin comes in.

01:36:08.000 So, of course, they go, oh, Robin, you're on that.

01:36:14.000 Gilbert, go away.

01:36:16.000 And Robin, you're on next.

01:36:18.000 Yeah.

01:36:18.000 And Robin said to them, he goes, oh, I have a few people in the audience to see me, and I'd like them to see Gilbert first.

01:36:29.000 Wow.

01:36:29.000 And that always stuck with me.

01:36:32.000 That's so nice of him.

01:36:34.000 When you started when you were 15 years old, what were the laws then about going on stage in a nightclub?

01:36:41.000 You were allowed to perform?

01:36:43.000 Yeah, you know what's funny about that?

01:36:45.000 I don't think anyone asks questions.

01:36:48.000 Like one time, I wanted, you know, I was like, oh god, 13 or whatever, you know, and I wanted to go in to see a porn movie.

01:37:01.000 And going to one of these porn shops where you put a quarter in and see 10 seconds.

01:37:09.000 And so I got a phony ID card, which made me years older.

01:37:17.000 And I thought, oh, this card will get me in.

01:37:19.000 And I went into one of these, like...

01:37:23.000 Porn theaters or whatever. 1.00

01:37:25.000 And I hold up the card and the guy looks at me like, what fucking planet are you from? 1.00

01:37:33.000 We don't care. 1.00

01:37:35.000 I could have been an infant being wheeled in there.

01:37:40.000 It was really like, who? 1.00

01:37:43.000 What gives a fuck, you know? 0.99

01:37:45.000 That's an interesting transition in this world, right? 1.00

01:37:47.000 Between what porn is now, where people get it on their phone, you know, versus then you had to be in a theater.

01:37:55.000 You had to leave your house.

01:37:58.000 Yeah.

01:37:59.000 And be seen walking into the theater and seen walking out of the theater.

01:38:09.000 Yeah.

01:38:09.000 Well, the next step was video rentals.

01:38:13.000 Yes.

01:38:15.000 Beads that you had to go through?

01:38:17.000 Oh, yeah!

01:38:17.000 To get through the floor section?

01:38:19.000 There's either saloon door, like a swing saloon door, or beads, where you'd go into the adult section, and no one would make eye contact in there.

01:38:27.000 Everybody would be all weirded out, and they'd be just grabbing these boxes real quick, just pick something and go rent it.

01:38:33.000 Yeah, you're standing there like you're in a urinal.

01:38:37.000 You look down, you don't talk to the other person.

01:38:41.000 But some guys would be looking at the boxes, spinning it around, checking it out.

01:38:46.000 And those boxes all had explicit scenes on them. 0.98

01:38:49.000 So you would pick up the porn box and the box would be all these pictures of people fucking. 0.97

01:38:54.000 And it was like out in the open. 0.97

01:38:57.000 It was weird. 1.00

01:38:58.000 You don't have anything like that today where someone can mistakenly walk through some beads and then pull a box out and go, oh Jesus, there's a dick in someone's mouth. 0.99

01:39:09.000 Right? 0.99

01:39:11.000 It's like, well, I remember in Times Square there was Show World.

01:39:15.000 That was the big...

01:39:17.000 Those were peep shows, right?

01:39:19.000 Yes.

01:39:19.000 There were peep shows and some stage...

01:39:23.000 Performers?

01:39:27.000 No.

01:39:29.000 Yeah, some... 1.00

01:39:31.000 Yeah, like the allegedly live sex shows, I saw one where like I go, hmm, it's funny how he could fuck this girl when he doesn't have a horn on. 0.98

01:39:42.000 And there was, they used to have these machines you'd put a quarter in And it would show something, and nothing would be happening. 0.96

01:39:54.000 And then all of a sudden, the girl would unbutton her blouse, and you'd go, oh, okay, here it goes.

01:40:01.000 And then it would go out.

01:40:02.000 You'd need another quarter.

01:40:03.000 Another quarter.

01:40:04.000 And then she'd start to lift up her skirt, go out, another quarter. 1.00

01:40:09.000 And, oh, I just remembered another celebrity...

01:40:14.000 Who I got that thrill from, was one time I was doing, I think it was like a roast of Jerry Lewis. 1.00

01:40:25.000 And afterwards, Jerry Lewis came up to me and he said, Gilbert, you are out of your fucking mind. 0.99

01:40:38.000 And I wouldn't want you any other way. 0.99

01:40:42.000 And I thought, that's the greatest compliment.

01:40:46.000 Did you ever see the interview of Jerry Lewis before he died?

01:40:50.000 He was rather old.

01:40:51.000 Rather than the one after he died.

01:40:53.000 Yes.

01:40:54.000 That one was scary.

01:40:55.000 But it was late.

01:40:56.000 Oh, wait, was this the one where he gets, yes.

01:40:59.000 Yes.

01:41:00.000 That's scary.

01:41:01.000 Yes, like giving one-word answers and he was mad.

01:41:05.000 Yeah.

01:41:06.000 I don't know what the guy said to piss him off. 0.99

01:41:08.000 Yeah, I mean, the guy sounded like a schmuck, the reporter. 0.99

01:41:11.000 He did. 0.99

01:41:11.000 He was a terrible interviewer. 0.99

01:41:13.000 But yeah, that was scary.

01:41:15.000 It showed...

01:41:16.000 Well, I've heard that about...

01:41:19.000 Well, you know what I think also?

01:41:20.000 It's like...

01:41:21.000 The man is doing an interview without trying or even attempting to have a human connection with Jerry Lewis in his home.

01:41:30.000 Yes.

01:41:31.000 Instead of it being like a skillful conversation where he's like, first of all, appreciating the man, thanking him for his time, telling him what a great actor and comedic actor he's been all his career, and just asking him questions, express yourself about these things.

01:41:46.000 Instead, he's asking him, like, why do you still do comedy?

01:41:49.000 Yes, yes! 1.00

01:41:49.000 He's asking dumb questions. 1.00

01:41:51.000 Yeah, same thing. 0.99

01:41:53.000 I thought, you know, first show him some respect.

01:41:56.000 Yes, yes.

01:41:57.000 Make a connection as a human being with him.

01:42:00.000 Instead of just throw some questions his way, have a conversation with the man.

01:42:05.000 I mean, Jerry Lewis has been around forever.

01:42:08.000 Yeah.

01:42:08.000 You know, I mean, you have a rare opportunity to talk to a guy that was at the early days of, like, films and show business.

01:42:16.000 Yeah, he was around when all the top show business people, he never hung out with the actual Rat Pack, but he was friends with every member of the Rat Pack.

01:42:28.000 Yeah.

01:42:28.000 Well, when we did the Comedy Store, you know, the Comedy Store used to be Ciro's Nightclub.

01:42:33.000 It used to be Bugsy Siegel's Nightclub.

01:42:35.000 And there was all these photos that they had.

01:42:37.000 They had all the Ciro's memorabilia.

01:42:39.000 And some of the photos were like the marquee where it said Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis when they would do a live show.

01:42:45.000 Yeah.

01:42:46.000 And, you know, you get to see these photos of like a young, like 20-year-old Jerry Lewis on stage with Dean Martin.

01:42:52.000 Yeah, there they are.

01:42:54.000 Wow.

01:42:55.000 There's Sammy Davis, and where's Jerry Lewis?

01:42:59.000 I just happen to have this one already ready to go.

01:43:01.000 Oh, Humphrey Bogart.

01:43:04.000 Humphrey Bogart.

01:43:05.000 What year is this?

01:43:06.000 He was very young there, too.

01:43:08.000 It doesn't say.

01:43:10.000 It doesn't say?

01:43:10.000 55. Wow.

01:43:13.000 Jeez.

01:43:13.000 So that is around the year.

01:43:17.000 Oh, and Jeff Chandler.

01:43:20.000 Okay, let's go back to the...

01:43:22.000 Yeah, that's Jeff Chandler.

01:43:24.000 He was like a leading man during the 50s.

01:43:28.000 In films?

01:43:30.000 Yeah.

01:43:31.000 Other famous Jew.

01:43:33.000 Jeff Chandler. 0.99

01:43:35.000 And according to a story Sammy Davis told, it might be totally bullshit, but sounds good. 0.99

01:43:43.000 You know, he got into that terrible car accident where he lost his eye. 0.98

01:43:51.000 Yeah.

01:44:04.000 And he opened up Sammy's hand, because I think when people pass out their hands closed, and he opened up his hand, put in a Star of David, and so for the rest of his coma, he was holding on to this.

01:44:20.000 And when he opened it up, there was the Star of David, and he took it off, and there was an imprint on his hand.

01:44:28.000 Permanent?

01:44:28.000 Yeah.

01:44:29.000 Well, I don't know, permanent, but it took pretty deep.

01:44:36.000 Interesting.

01:44:36.000 It's one of those stories you want to believe.

01:44:39.000 Yeah.

01:44:40.000 Those old school people had no one to model their career by. 0.93

01:44:44.000 That's what's interesting.

01:44:46.000 Yeah.

01:44:46.000 If you think about the 1930s and 40s, those early movies, there was no generations before that.

01:44:53.000 It's not like there's a hundred years of films that you can go back today and look.

01:44:58.000 Today, if we want to look at a 1933 movie, we can look at a 90-year-old film and go, wow, look at King Kong from 90 years ago.

01:45:07.000 Back then, there was nothing.

01:45:08.000 Yeah!

01:45:09.000 90 years before that, there was nothing.

01:45:10.000 There was no movies.

01:45:11.000 There was barely...

01:45:12.000 There wasn't even cameras, right?

01:45:14.000 Yeah!

01:45:14.000 Or maybe there was cameras.

01:45:15.000 Yeah.

01:45:15.000 I don't know.

01:45:16.000 Did we figure this out?

01:45:18.000 I think it was like late 1700s.

01:45:20.000 For Christ's sakes!

01:45:20.000 Yeah, they had photos, but cameras wouldn't be like a thing.

01:45:24.000 Yeah.

01:45:24.000 That would have been a way to take photographs, you know, but like not really handheld or...

01:45:28.000 Right, one of those...

01:45:28.000 Here's what I think about with cameras.

01:45:34.000 Like now, you know...

01:45:36.000 A pigeon is on a statue, you'll find like 5 billion photos taken of it because everyone has a camera.

01:45:47.000 And I think about the Zabruda film of Kennedy being shot one day. 0.99

01:45:53.000 Fucking little grainy thing. 0.99

01:45:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:45:57.000 The president.

01:45:59.000 And it's like one little thing. 0.99

01:46:01.000 Now you'd have it from inside his body, the bullet.

01:46:06.000 Yeah, and it would be 4K and everybody would be streaming and Androids and iPhones.

01:46:10.000 And that one film, you know, that film wasn't released until more than 10 years after the assassination.

01:46:17.000 Yeah.

01:46:18.000 That's what's really crazy.

01:46:19.000 Yeah.

01:46:20.000 I think it was 10 years.

01:46:21.000 That film was released by Dick Gregory, another comic who went on the Geraldo Rivera show.

01:46:28.000 Geraldo Rivera had a television show, and Dick Gregory and Geraldo Rivera showed the Sapruder film to the public for the very first time.

01:46:37.000 Wow.

01:46:37.000 It's a wild video.

01:46:39.000 Geraldo Rivera had bell-bottoms on.

01:46:42.000 Oh, yeah.

01:46:43.000 1970s dress.

01:46:44.000 What year was that?

01:46:47.000 I don't remember what the name of her.

01:46:49.000 It was like Geraldo Rivera had a talk show.

01:46:52.000 I don't think it was called Geraldo.

01:46:53.000 It was a different talk show.

01:46:55.000 But he had Dick Gregory on his talk show.

01:46:59.000 And Dick Gregory came on and he had acquired the Zapruder film.

01:47:05.000 And I believe Time owned it forever.

01:47:08.000 Like Time Magazine, and they didn't do anything with it.

01:47:10.000 Yeah, wow.

01:47:11.000 And I think they probably saw it, and they saw what Dick Gregory and the rest of the world.

01:47:16.000 Like, he didn't get shot from behind.

01:47:18.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:47:18.000 Like, you saw his head go back into the left, and you're like, what the fuck is that? 0.99

01:47:24.000 1975. Yeah, so there you go. 0.98

01:47:27.000 Good night, America.

01:47:28.000 So it's 12 years later.

01:47:29.000 12 years after the assassination.

01:47:31.000 I just got a flashback when we were talking about porn.

01:47:36.000 Back to the left?

01:47:37.000 No, yeah.

01:47:43.000 I remember Years ago when, like, you know, these cable stations were first starting, and they didn't have that much, you know, stuff to fill it up with.

01:47:58.000 Programming.

01:47:58.000 They didn't have, or as I call it, stuff.

01:48:01.000 Now, that programming.

01:48:02.000 So I think here, if you could look this one up, I think it was Showtime.

01:48:11.000 I think it's called Showtime and it was aerobicize.

01:48:15.000 And it would just be girls in like spandex exercising. 1.00

01:48:22.000 And I mean, this was to me beyond porn back then.

01:48:28.000 Yeah, it's funny because people didn't, is this it?

01:48:30.000 Oh yeah, look.

01:48:31.000 A Ron Harris videotape?

01:48:33.000 Yeah.

01:48:34.000 Oh, wow. 0.62

01:48:35.000 That to me is better than actual porn.

01:48:38.000 Why is it better?

01:48:39.000 I don't know.

01:48:41.000 There's something about that.

01:48:44.000 It's so overtly sexual.

01:48:47.000 Yes.

01:48:47.000 Yeah.

01:48:48.000 They're barefoot and most of the shots are from behind.

01:48:52.000 Yeah, and the cameras are pointed between their legs.

01:48:56.000 And they're throwing their legs up into the air and it's like they're giving you the gap shot.

01:49:01.000 Yes. 0.99

01:49:04.000 And now all of them moving their asses. 1.00

01:49:08.000 Aerobicize. 0.98

01:49:09.000 And are they trying to pretend that it is a workout that you can do with them?

01:49:14.000 What is the music, Jamie?

01:49:17.000 So it's just music.

01:49:20.000 So now they're throwing punches?

01:49:22.000 Well, now it's boring.

01:49:23.000 See, this to me was...

01:49:26.000 I didn't have cable for years and years.

01:49:29.000 And so...

01:49:32.000 When I had a friend who had had this, this was like unreal.

01:49:37.000 So they are pretending that it's an exercise show that you can do along with it.

01:49:41.000 Yeah.

01:49:41.000 But really, the way they're filming it, it's like, look at this.

01:49:45.000 I mean, come on.

01:49:46.000 Oh, yes.

01:49:46.000 This is so sexual.

01:49:48.000 Oh, yeah.

01:49:49.000 She's like literally thrusting her hips up into the air and you see her camel toe. 1.00

01:49:54.000 Yeah.

01:49:56.000 Hilarious.

01:49:56.000 And she's throwing her head back like she's in ecstasy.

01:49:59.000 Yeah, an orgasm face. 0.91

01:50:04.000 It's interesting that we've seen, just in our lifetime, a great change in what show business is.

01:50:11.000 But if you just take it back to the generation before us, like the Sammy Javis Jr. generation or the Jerry Lewis, these people had nothing to go on.

01:50:19.000 I always talk about Elvis.

01:50:20.000 There was no Elvis before Elvis.

01:50:23.000 The guy was out there on his own.

01:50:25.000 There had never been a rock star before.

01:50:27.000 He was literally the first real, worldwide rock star.

01:50:32.000 Oh, here's something.

01:50:36.000 There are a million famous actresses Who dated Elvis. 0.76

01:50:43.000 You'll find all these actresses, and all of them claim, oh, yeah, every other girl fucked him, but I didn't. 1.00

01:50:53.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

01:50:55.000 And I'm thinking, oh, bullshit. 1.00

01:50:55.000 Well, he might have been pilled up at the time. 1.00

01:50:57.000 Oh, yeah.

01:50:59.000 He might not have been able to perform. 0.99

01:51:01.000 There were some moments where Elvis was just completely out there, out of his fucking mind. 0.99

01:51:07.000 My favorite is him doing karate. 0.99

01:51:09.000 Oh, yes! 0.99

01:51:10.000 When he would get pilled up, so he's, like, high as a fucking kite doing karate. 0.99

01:51:16.000 It is wild to watch. 0.98

01:51:18.000 I mean, it's so strange, because, like, they were all pretending that he was doing real karate.

01:51:23.000 Yeah. 0.94

01:51:24.000 And he had, like, I think he had, like, a seven degree black belt or something crazy like that, but it's bullshit karate. 0.82

01:51:29.000 Like, it's not real. 0.88

01:51:30.000 And he's got a long collared shirt on underneath his karate gi.

01:51:35.000 It's like the kind of karate you used to see in, like, the old James Bond.

01:51:44.000 Yeah.

01:51:58.000 Exactly.

01:51:59.000 There's a scene where Elvis is doing a demonstration.

01:52:02.000 He has all these guys with their knuckles on his neck.

01:52:08.000 And they're all pushing.

01:52:10.000 And he's like, and he pushes them back and they all go falling down.

01:52:13.000 And he's like, ew man, look at what I just did.

01:52:16.000 And he's high as a kite.

01:52:18.000 And he's just so high.

01:52:20.000 It's so obvious.

01:52:21.000 You look at his eyes.

01:52:22.000 He's like blurry.

01:52:25.000 But that guy, like, he was on his own.

01:52:28.000 There had never been a person that had gotten that famous before.

01:52:31.000 Yeah.

01:52:31.000 Him and Michael Jackson.

01:52:32.000 Michael Jackson had hit, like, another realm of that.

01:52:35.000 I also heard, like, well, the Beatles, in an interview, said when they first came to America, the first person they wanted to meet was Elvis.

01:52:45.000 Wow.

01:52:45.000 And they went to his house, and first they're all sitting around.

01:52:50.000 They were like in awe of meeting this god.

01:52:54.000 And then Elvis said something like, you know, why don't we just take out our guitars and jam? 0.68

01:53:02.000 And they started playing, and I thought, there is no fucking even snapshot of this. 0.73

01:53:10.000 Yeah. 0.86

01:53:11.000 I mean, imagine that on film, Elvis and the Beatles.

01:53:15.000 Well, later, which is really crazy, when Elvis was out of his mind on pills, he went to talk to Nixon in the White House.

01:53:23.000 Yes!

01:53:24.000 Yes!

01:53:24.000 And he wanted to stop people from doing drugs.

01:53:26.000 He wanted to be like some...

01:53:29.000 A narc?

01:53:30.000 Yeah, like a narc for the country, fighting drugs.

01:53:36.000 Meanwhile, he's on pills.

01:53:37.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:53:38.000 He was probably like...

01:53:40.000 Nixon was probably trying to figure out what words he was saying.

01:53:45.000 Yeah, and he had sunglasses.

01:53:47.000 And he had a gun with him.

01:53:48.000 Did he have a gun on him?

01:53:48.000 I think he had a gun with him.

01:53:50.000 He was stoned with a gun, but it's Elvis.

01:53:55.000 So what, you're going to say, Elvis, can we pat you down?

01:53:59.000 They probably didn't even have metal detectors back then, right? 1.00

01:54:02.000 So they probably just let him walk to the White House with a fucking gun. 0.99

01:54:05.000 See if there's a picture of Elvis with a gun on his hip at the White House. 0.99

01:54:08.000 Because I know there's that famous photo of him wearing sunglasses, shaking Nixon's hand.

01:54:13.000 Oh, yes.

01:54:14.000 And that was the pill-popping days, so for sure he was on pills.

01:54:17.000 It's not like he sobered up and went to the White House.

01:54:20.000 Yeah, I'm sure Nixon like... 1.00

01:54:23.000 Look at his fucking glasses! 1.00

01:54:26.000 That is so unreal. 1.00

01:54:27.000 The one I'm looking at is the one, that's where he's got the glasses on.

01:54:31.000 Those are the old school Elvis glasses.

01:54:32.000 Look how cool those glasses were.

01:54:34.000 Oh, yeah.

01:54:34.000 Can I buy those anywhere?

01:54:36.000 Do they sell Elvis glasses like that?

01:54:38.000 Like his actual ones?

01:54:39.000 No, no, no, like that.

01:54:41.000 They need to make a copy.

01:54:42.000 I need to call Roka.

01:54:43.000 Roka, you need to make an Elvis sunglass.

01:54:46.000 But that one where they're shaking hands with the collared shirt, like, right to the left of your cursor?

01:54:51.000 Yeah, that's it. 0.98

01:54:52.000 That's fucking classic. 0.99

01:54:54.000 Like, look at his outfit! 0.99

01:54:55.000 And that collared shirt, that crazy collar, that's the same thing he wore under his karate gi.

01:55:01.000 Like, that was his trademark look.

01:55:03.000 So even when he was doing karate.

01:55:06.000 Here, we can show some...

01:55:08.000 Oh, God!

01:55:08.000 Oh!

01:55:09.000 Look at the collar shirt.

01:55:10.000 Oh! 0.60

01:55:11.000 He can hardly balance himself.

01:55:14.000 So these guys are doing these demonstrations.

01:55:16.000 This is like so corny.

01:55:18.000 Just walking in like that.

01:55:19.000 Look at him with the sunglasses on. 1.00

01:55:22.000 Just blasted him out of his fucking mind. 1.00

01:55:26.000 This is karate from a Mad Helm film. 0.99

01:55:29.000 But what's fascinating about Elvis is there was no one who existed before him that he could even talk to.

01:55:38.000 Yeah.

01:55:38.000 It's not like...

01:55:39.000 If you're a musician today and you could...

01:55:43.000 Gain the presence of Willie Nelson.

01:55:45.000 Yeah.

01:55:45.000 You could talk to Willie, like, what was it like on the road?

01:55:48.000 You could ask questions.

01:55:49.000 You could become his friend and talk to him.

01:55:51.000 And he could maybe give you some insight into what it's like in show business.

01:55:55.000 But Elvis was on his own. 0.97

01:55:57.000 There was no fucking giant rock stars before him. 0.98

01:56:02.000 Oh, here's another old joke. 1.00

01:56:06.000 What's the worst thing a woman can hear when a man is fucking her? 1.00

01:56:13.000 I'm not William Nelson. 1.00

01:56:20.000 Jesus Christ.

01:56:24.000 How odd.

01:56:28.000 These early comics when you were working, was everybody just doing those impression things or telling jokes?

01:56:36.000 When was the first time you saw someone that was like a Lenny Bruce type act who was talking about stuff?

01:56:44.000 Well, there were some who were doing that.

01:56:47.000 Mort Sahl? 0.53

01:56:48.000 Yeah.

01:56:49.000 Well, I'd never seen Mort Sahl in person, but you know, like...

01:56:54.000 Did you see Lenny in person?

01:56:55.000 No.

01:56:57.000 But there were these comics around back then, like, you know, Robert Klein, David Steinberg, and, you know, Pryor, Carlin.

01:57:09.000 So there were people who were talking about things.

01:57:11.000 Did you see Pryor on stage back then?

01:57:15.000 Once.

01:57:16.000 Once.

01:57:16.000 Many, many years ago.

01:57:18.000 I remember hardly any of it.

01:57:20.000 What year was that?

01:57:22.000 Oh, God.

01:57:22.000 I remember I went with my sisters and it was a whole show.

01:57:27.000 Maybe it was all people who were assigned to Motown at one time.

01:57:32.000 And so I don't remember a thing of what he said.

01:57:38.000 And so when did you, like, officially become, like, a professional?

01:57:42.000 Like, that's all you did.

01:57:44.000 Was that your first job, or did you have other jobs?

01:57:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:57:47.000 Oh, I had many other, like, shit jobs, beyond shit. 0.99

01:57:52.000 Like, these different messenger jobs and stuff like that. 1.00

01:57:57.000 I had one.

01:57:59.000 What I remember most about one of the jobs I had, it was some company that made...

01:58:07.000 You know, anti-burglary things, you know, like where you had like a metal pencil that you scratch, you know, your number into.

01:58:18.000 So if they found your TV or whatever, they could show it was yours.

01:58:25.000 And so they one time had me sitting there for the day with a big pile of metal pencils And a glass ashtray.

01:58:37.000 And my job there was to take the pencil and run it across the ashtray.

01:58:44.000 And the ones that scratched it were the good sharp ones.

01:58:49.000 That went into the good pile.

01:58:51.000 And the other ones, the bad pile.

01:58:55.000 And what I remember about it, this is true, on the package it said, tested by skilled craftsmen.

01:59:03.000 And so I guess I was the skilled craftsman there.

01:59:07.000 That's hilarious.

01:59:08.000 Yeah.

01:59:08.000 And so when did you become a full-time professional?

01:59:11.000 Wow, full-time, wow.

01:59:17.000 Let's see, I... I... It started...

01:59:24.000 Hmm...

01:59:25.000 I started doing more and more clubs like...

01:59:28.000 Oh God, I don't remember.

01:59:31.000 Uh...

01:59:33.000 I don't know.

01:59:34.000 And then that led up to Saturday Night Live, which was awful.

01:59:39.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:59:40.000 It was awful?

01:59:55.000 To work there.

01:59:56.000 And that to us felt like, oh, we're in the big time.

02:00:00.000 Right.

02:00:00.000 Well, $15, $20 back then, that's probably a couple hundred bucks today.

02:00:04.000 Yeah.

02:00:05.000 Yeah.

02:00:07.000 So...

02:00:07.000 But, yeah.

02:00:09.000 So that's when you started making a living.

02:00:12.000 Well, no.

02:00:13.000 Then later on...

02:00:15.000 Well, with Saturday Night Live was the first time of...

02:00:19.000 Oh, I also did...

02:00:20.000 I did a pilot...

02:00:23.000 I was out in L.A. to audition for one pilot I didn't get.

02:00:28.000 And then a friend of mine, a comic, said, I'm in this pilot.

02:00:32.000 You want to come and audition with me for it?

02:00:35.000 I'm already in it.

02:00:36.000 And I got that.

02:00:38.000 It never had.

02:00:40.000 It was terrible.

02:00:41.000 And that one was called The Adventures of Wally Brown.

02:00:51.000 And one of the actors just died recently, Peter Scolari.

02:00:56.000 Oh, the guy from Bosom Buddies.

02:00:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:00:59.000 Oh, wow.

02:01:01.000 And so he was one of the stars of that.

02:01:04.000 Wow.

02:01:05.000 But that was my first time of, I don't remember how much I got, but getting a check and going, wow, this is actual money.

02:01:13.000 So was SNL before or after that?

02:01:17.000 That was, SNL was after.

02:01:20.000 And you said SNL was terrible?

02:01:24.000 Yeah.

02:01:24.000 Well, the season I was on, like the original, well, Lorne Michaels left and the original cast left.

02:01:35.000 Oh, really?

02:01:35.000 So people hated the show before it even got on the end.

02:01:40.000 Lorne Michaels left at one point in time?

02:01:42.000 Yeah.

02:01:42.000 I didn't know that.

02:01:42.000 And then it came back?

02:01:43.000 Yeah.

02:01:44.000 Then they got in Dick Ebersole was the next one.

02:01:50.000 Dick Ebersole.

02:01:52.000 Dick Ebersole was after my season.

02:01:54.000 My season was Gene Domanian.

02:01:57.000 But the idea back then of Saturday Night Live with different cast members, that just wasn't – now it's like the cast changes every five minutes.

02:02:13.000 Right.

02:02:13.000 But back then it was like, no.

02:02:16.000 It would be like saying, like, in the middle of Beatlemania that, oh, we're getting four other guys to be the Beatles.

02:02:24.000 Or when Friends was on, we're recasting Friends, but just watch it the same way.

02:02:31.000 And so there were news stories and articles saying, how dare they?

02:02:38.000 This was sacrilege.

02:02:39.000 So that's funny.

02:02:41.000 So you were like the second cast?

02:02:43.000 Yeah, we were the second cast, and it's like— And everybody left?

02:02:48.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:02:49.000 All the original people were gone, and it was like—see, you don't want to be the replacement.

02:02:59.000 You want to be the replacement of the replacement, because then you get one guy that's the sacrificial lamb.

02:03:08.000 That they throw into the fire.

02:03:10.000 And then next, it's like, oh, well, it's better than that other guy.

02:03:14.000 Yeah, right.

02:03:16.000 Then you come in after you, and then you can actually be accepted slightly. 0.99

02:03:21.000 Goddamn. 0.97

02:03:22.000 Did you enjoy the process at all? 0.99

02:03:25.000 Not really.

02:03:29.000 Nothing new.

02:03:30.000 I was always weird.

02:03:37.000 When I was auditioning, there were a few auditions, some at a comedy club, others in their office, and it would be like lots of people there.

02:03:49.000 And I would hear, you know, other people who auditioned who would say, oh, they were so hateful of everybody else who was against them and their...

02:03:59.000 And I remember, just out of weirdness, not courage, out of weirdness, I didn't take auditioning for Saturday Night Live as something important.

02:04:11.000 I don't know why.

02:04:13.000 I just didn't.

02:04:14.000 And I would go there and do bits and everything.

02:04:18.000 And when I was on it, I didn't feel like...

02:04:22.000 Well, I mean, there was a reason I didn't feel like a star there, because everyone was torn to shreds in the press.

02:04:29.000 And then when I got fired from it, I thought, okay.

02:04:36.000 Oh, the way I got fired from Saturday Night Live, there used to be a table there that they would throw fan letters, one that was such thing as fan letters.

02:04:48.000 Now it's, you know, who writes a fan letter anymore?

02:04:52.000 It's all, you know, email and stuff.

02:04:56.000 And that they, so I was waiting.

02:04:59.000 They had fired the producer, And Dick Ebersole came in.

02:05:06.000 He said, all right, well, we're just going to make changes here and there.

02:05:10.000 Nothing major.

02:05:12.000 Come in next week and we'll discuss it.

02:05:16.000 And they were taking people in one by one.

02:05:19.000 And I'm waiting there.

02:05:20.000 And killing time, I see a girl writes a fan letter to me from like Omaha or whatever.

02:05:30.000 And I open it up before I even get into the office.

02:05:34.000 I open the letter and it starts off, Dear Gilbert, I'm so sorry about what happened to you.

02:05:41.000 So I found out from a fan letter from some 15-year-old girl.

02:05:47.000 How did she find out?

02:05:47.000 Yeah, I don't know.

02:05:49.000 Maybe she saw it coming.

02:05:50.000 Yeah, probably.

02:05:53.000 She started writing it after the first episode.

02:05:55.000 Oh, the writing's on the wall. 1.00

02:05:59.000 This guy sucks. 1.00

02:06:01.000 Was it the same kind of environment? 1.00

02:06:02.000 Because the thing about Saturday Night Live that I keep hearing from former cast members is that it was like a dog-eat-dog world over there.

02:06:08.000 And people would be backstabbing people and stealing their ideas for sketches.

02:06:14.000 Jim Brewer had a horrible time there.

02:06:16.000 Yeah.

02:06:17.000 I remember, well, I remember, like, I didn't like the writers, and the writers hated me.

02:06:23.000 And so one time, to prove it, how much they hated me, they wrote a funeral sketch where I was the dead body.

02:06:32.000 So I just had to lie there in the coffin.

02:06:35.000 That's it?

02:06:36.000 Yeah.

02:06:37.000 Wow. 1.00

02:06:38.000 Just to fuck you. 1.00

02:06:39.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:06:42.000 Phil Hartman said the same thing.

02:06:44.000 He said the environment over there was just toxic.

02:06:46.000 Everybody was at each other's throats and just wasn't fun.

02:06:50.000 They were always just hamstringing each other. 0.99

02:06:53.000 Always trying to fuck each other over and ruin each other's sketches. 0.98

02:06:56.000 Not laughing at each other's sketches when they're laying them out. 0.99

02:06:59.000 That kind of thing.

02:07:00.000 Yeah.

02:07:01.000 That there was like a lot of politics over there and you had to learn the politics.

02:07:07.000 He hated it.

02:07:08.000 So did Jim Brewer.

02:07:09.000 Hated it.

02:07:09.000 Yeah.

02:07:10.000 I think, yeah, I didn't have a great time there at all.

02:07:14.000 Some of those sketch shows are just so different than stand-up.

02:07:17.000 Yeah.

02:07:19.000 Is there any other thing that you like doing?

02:07:21.000 Do you like acting?

02:07:22.000 Yeah.

02:07:23.000 I always...

02:07:24.000 You know, I was in a couple of movies, if you could call what I do acting, but I was in a couple of movies.

02:07:31.000 And, you know, like, one of those things that...

02:07:36.000 Well, the first thing that actually made me a real celebrity and a celebrity that people liked...

02:07:48.000 One time I was at Catch, and these people were there, and they said they're from MTV. Would I like to come in and audition for something?

02:07:58.000 And I went on, nothing prepared, and I just started improvising stuff.

02:08:03.000 And they were filming it and then didn't hear anything from them and didn't, you know, thought, oh, I didn't get this.

02:08:11.000 And then people started recognizing me on the street and coming over to me.

02:08:16.000 And I found out that the thing I, what they filmed in me auditioning with, they chopped up and was showing throughout the day on MTV. And that was the first time I was known and it was something good.

02:08:30.000 Were they paying you for that?

02:08:33.000 I later asked them, you know, can I get something?

02:08:38.000 Because they weren't paying me at first. 0.94

02:08:40.000 That seems ridiculous.

02:08:41.000 Yeah, they were just showing them.

02:08:43.000 So I said, do I get anything?

02:08:45.000 So then they, like, sent me a couple of hundred dollars.

02:08:49.000 LAUGHTER And, even better, my agents at William Morris, they wound up taking 10% of that.

02:09:00.000 Oh, my God.

02:09:01.000 Yeah, something they had zero to do with.

02:09:05.000 MTV was notoriously cheap back then.

02:09:07.000 Yes, yes.

02:09:08.000 They offered me $500 for a pilot to do a pilot for a television show that they were doing.

02:09:16.000 And then if I did it and the television show got picked up, I would be under an exclusive contract with them for many years.

02:09:23.000 I forget how many years it was.

02:09:25.000 But what had happened with them was they had done those little sketches that they did with Dennis Leary.

02:09:32.000 Yes.

02:09:33.000 And Dennis Leary became very popular from those.

02:09:36.000 People forget that Dennis Leary at one point in time was very famous.

02:09:39.000 And he had gotten very famous from these MTV clips where he was like...

02:09:45.000 Yeah, smoking a cigarette.

02:09:47.000 I hate this.

02:09:47.000 Yeah, smoking, doing commentary.

02:09:48.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:09:49.000 Real fast.

02:09:50.000 And that went on to do some other stuff, but became a star. 0.99

02:09:55.000 And they felt like they got fucked. 0.94

02:09:58.000 Because they had made him famous, then he left. 0.98

02:10:01.000 And so they're like, okay, if we make someone famous, we're going to lock them in.

02:10:04.000 And so they offered me this ridiculous lowball contract. 0.59

02:10:09.000 I was like, this is the craziest...

02:10:10.000 And then my manager sent my tape from MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour, which is what led them to try to offer me this pilot, sent it out to a bunch of people and I wound up getting a development deal and then moving to California and doing...

02:10:25.000 This show Hardball and then NewsRadio.

02:10:27.000 But it all came out of MTV being cheap.

02:10:29.000 Because if they had offered me a good...

02:10:31.000 Yeah, some halfway decent.

02:10:32.000 Yeah, I would have done it.

02:10:33.000 For sure.

02:10:34.000 I was like, wow, the opportunity to be on MTV. That was when that show Remote Control was on.

02:10:39.000 It was a big thing to be on.

02:10:42.000 MTV at the time was...

02:10:44.000 One of the best vehicles for you to get famous.

02:10:47.000 Oh, yeah.

02:10:48.000 With young people.

02:10:50.000 And, yeah, because that's how people started to know me.

02:10:53.000 And it was like, it's so funny now that...

02:10:59.000 You know, the letters MTV could be used as a trivia question.

02:11:04.000 Right.

02:11:05.000 You know, it's like it used to be so important.

02:11:09.000 It was everything.

02:11:10.000 It was on 24 hours, and people would watch it 24 hours.

02:11:17.000 And they started doing comedy shows on it.

02:11:19.000 They did the MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour, and that was a big deal.

02:11:23.000 That was to get on the MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour and have a good set could make your career.

02:11:28.000 That's when I started headlining like really good clubs.

02:11:31.000 It was because of my credit from MTV. That was like my first real television stand-up credit.

02:11:39.000 Is it even around anymore?

02:11:41.000 Another thing like that, how stuff that used to be important.

02:11:46.000 Remember for years, the most important war in the country that they were reporting on was the war of Letterman, Leno, and Conan.

02:12:00.000 Oh, who gets the Tonight Show?

02:12:02.000 Why did he get it?

02:12:04.000 And that was like...

02:12:06.000 The most, more than a real war, that was the most important war.

02:12:11.000 And now, it's like, say those names to anybody, and if you say Letterman, they'll go, I don't know, who is that?

02:12:23.000 That's strange.

02:12:24.000 And then Conan, he wound up, after the two of them left their shows, Conan had a show, and his show was like, He has a show?

02:12:34.000 It was one of those, you know?

02:12:36.000 Well, TBS, it was odd.

02:12:38.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:12:39.000 And the whole thing was, it didn't ever caught on.

02:12:41.000 It was like everybody was mad that Jay Leno took the spot from him.

02:12:46.000 Yeah.

02:12:46.000 You know, which I don't understand why they...

02:12:48.000 He was one of those hated people.

02:12:52.000 Yeah.

02:12:52.000 Like, you have to hate Jay Leno.

02:12:54.000 I didn't understand that.

02:12:55.000 Yeah, I didn't either.

02:12:57.000 It didn't make sense to me.

02:12:58.000 I did a show a bunch of times, and he was always nice to me.

02:13:02.000 And it's like, They offered him the Tonight Show and he said yes.

02:13:08.000 That makes him a bad guy.

02:13:09.000 I don't know if there's any behind the scenes posturing and how it happened, but I remember Jimmy Kimmel berating him on his own show for taking the show from Conan O'Brien.

02:13:21.000 And I remember thinking, what is this?

02:13:23.000 Why is everybody standing up for Conan O'Brien here?

02:13:27.000 If it didn't work out, it didn't work out.

02:13:29.000 That happens all the time.

02:13:31.000 What happened there?

02:13:32.000 Unless I'm missing something.

02:13:34.000 Yeah.

02:13:34.000 Unless I'm just not in the loop.

02:13:36.000 It was like, you know, Jay Leno they gave some kind of primetime talk show to.

02:13:42.000 That didn't work out.

02:13:43.000 Right.

02:13:44.000 And Conan got The Tonight Show and that didn't work.

02:13:47.000 I think that was part of what people were upset with, right?

02:13:49.000 It was like The Tonight Show was on, but Jay Leno was on covering all this stuff that you would see in The Tonight Show right before The Tonight Show, and it probably took some of the wind out of the sails of The Tonight Show.

02:14:02.000 I don't know, but like, yeah, Conan wasn't getting ratings in that hour.

02:14:06.000 I think the reason why they moved Jay Leno was because he wasn't getting the younger viewers, right?

02:14:11.000 Which is what they need for advertising dollars.

02:14:13.000 Oh, yeah.

02:14:14.000 Oh, yeah.

02:14:14.000 And then they put him back.

02:14:16.000 And it was, yeah, but I... And it's like when I see them, you know, angry, they don't get The Tonight Show and I was thinking...

02:14:25.000 Well, Letterman has a very successful show that he was making a lot of money off of that was just like The Tonight Show.

02:14:35.000 And Conan was making a really nice living off his show that was just like...

02:14:42.000 So you have something that's just like The Tonight Show that millions of people are watching. 1.00

02:14:49.000 So what the fuck? 0.99

02:14:50.000 It doesn't have the title? 0.99

02:14:52.000 It was weird.

02:14:53.000 It's like, The Tonight Show was the Holy Grail because of Johnny Carson.

02:14:58.000 Yeah.

02:14:58.000 Right?

02:14:58.000 The Johnny Carson effect, like, everybody wanted to be the next Carson, and everybody else that was doing these other shows on other networks, you were just pretenders.

02:15:06.000 Yeah.

02:15:06.000 You know?

02:15:07.000 But then when Letterman went over to CBS, that was a great show.

02:15:11.000 Yeah!

02:15:11.000 Like, everybody loved that show.

02:15:12.000 It wasn't The Tonight Show, but it didn't have to be.

02:15:15.000 Like, why does it have...

02:15:16.000 Yeah.

02:15:16.000 Like, people know you're there.

02:15:18.000 They'll watch it.

02:15:19.000 It doesn't have to be that, but that name, The Tonight Show, was what everybody wanted.

02:15:25.000 They were coming up.

02:15:26.000 They wanted to be the host.

02:15:27.000 Which was insane.

02:15:29.000 Did you ever see that HBO docu-series, the docu-drama where they reenacted the Letterman?

02:15:37.000 I love those.

02:15:38.000 So weird.

02:15:40.000 I think it was called Late Night Wars or something like that.

02:15:42.000 Yes, something like that.

02:15:44.000 Such a strange...

02:15:45.000 And that's one thing that they hated about Leno.

02:15:47.000 They said that he hid in the closet and was listening in on one of the meetings.

02:15:50.000 Like, are you sure that happened?

02:15:53.000 Yeah.

02:15:53.000 Like, did he tell you it happened?

02:15:54.000 Did they catch him?

02:15:56.000 Like, how do you know that happened?

02:15:57.000 Yeah.

02:15:58.000 I'd like to know.

02:15:59.000 I remember with...

02:16:00.000 You know, I did Letterman a bunch of times.

02:16:04.000 And I did Conan a bunch of times.

02:16:07.000 And then...

02:16:08.000 Somehow I got, like, on Leno, they, you know, it just seemed like every couple of weeks they would call me when something happened in the news.

02:16:18.000 They'd fly me out there, and I'd be in one of those sketches at the beginning.

02:16:24.000 So I was like, I was Osama Bin Laden's nephew.

02:16:29.000 I was Timmy Bin Laden.

02:16:32.000 I was Harry Potter.

02:16:34.000 I was, you know, Prince Charles' wife, Camilla or something.

02:16:42.000 Camille?

02:16:43.000 Yeah.

02:16:43.000 And oh, I was King Kong in a sketch.

02:16:47.000 Those I love doing.

02:16:49.000 Yeah. 0.94

02:16:50.000 Well, something happened somewhere along the line where nobody gave a fuck about those late night talk shows anymore. 0.88

02:16:55.000 It's like they went away. 0.86

02:16:57.000 The relevance of them in terms of cultural significance, the way people talk about them, they don't care anymore.

02:17:03.000 Yeah, it's like now if you say, who are the hosts of these late night shows?

02:17:08.000 You'd go, okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, I know.

02:17:12.000 And you'd have to think about it.

02:17:14.000 Seth Meyers, Jimmy Fallon.

02:17:16.000 Yeah, it's odd.

02:17:18.000 It's like what it used to be, it doesn't matter anymore.

02:17:22.000 Yeah.

02:17:22.000 Everybody became Carson Daly.

02:17:24.000 Yeah.

02:17:25.000 It's like Carson Daly had that weird, obscure, fairly late night show.

02:17:29.000 That's what all of them are like now.

02:17:31.000 Yes.

02:17:32.000 Yeah.

02:17:33.000 Whereas something shifted in the culture where they didn't enjoy those kind of programs anymore.

02:17:39.000 Their ratings are abysmal.

02:17:41.000 Especially Conan, before he left, his ratings were so low.

02:17:45.000 It was weird.

02:17:47.000 You'd read the ratings and you'd be like, that's all it's watching?

02:17:49.000 This is crazy.

02:17:50.000 And also, what's different now in showbiz in general...

02:17:56.000 But it used to be, you know, like Channel 7 was in competition with Channel 4. Right.

02:18:06.000 Stuff like that.

02:18:07.000 Oh, and they have that show and we only have this.

02:18:10.000 And now there's no such a thing as a war between two.

02:18:14.000 It's a war between this and the rest of show business.

02:18:18.000 Yeah.

02:18:19.000 There's like a billion other things to watch.

02:18:23.000 Yes, and there's so many things that are streaming.

02:18:25.000 Like, there's no time period.

02:18:27.000 It doesn't matter if it's Thursday night at 8 o'clock, which is Friends, right?

02:18:30.000 That was the spot.

02:18:31.000 You wanted to be right after Friends.

02:18:33.000 They always talked about how, like, it may have been your show of shows with Sid Caesar, that they used to talk about how at the reservoir you could see the water Because toilets were flushing at the same time all over the place because it's a commercial.

02:18:57.000 Quick, run. 1.00

02:18:58.000 Now's your chance.

02:18:59.000 Really?

02:19:00.000 Yeah, that's what they say.

02:19:01.000 They said the water would drop in the reservoir.

02:19:04.000 And now it's like...

02:19:07.000 There's no running home to see something anymore.

02:19:11.000 No, there's none of that.

02:19:12.000 And everybody has DVRs, so you can record things, and so many things are streaming.

02:19:17.000 I think most kids today don't even have cable.

02:19:21.000 They just have internet, and then they have Netflix or Hulu or Amazon Prime, and they use all those things.

02:19:29.000 And even like HBO, you can watch the shows on HBO Max.

02:19:33.000 Yeah!

02:19:34.000 There's no reason to just have, like, regular cable anymore.

02:19:37.000 Yeah, there's no such a thing as missing a show.

02:19:40.000 Right.

02:19:42.000 Yeah, and it's...

02:19:44.000 Yeah, there's so many things have changed.

02:19:46.000 And it's like, now...

02:19:49.000 Yeah, it used to be you'd have to hold it in when you watch this show.

02:19:53.000 Yes, you couldn't miss something.

02:19:55.000 And the world is just different in terms of options.

02:20:00.000 It's different in terms of what they're willing to watch.

02:20:04.000 Because the idea of a talk show with these short segments, where you just sit down and someone tells you about their new album, it's brilliant.

02:20:13.000 Boring.

02:20:13.000 It's just not interesting.

02:20:15.000 It's too short.

02:20:17.000 They don't go into depth enough.

02:20:18.000 You don't really relate to it.

02:20:21.000 It's all censored, too.

02:20:23.000 We're used to so much uncensored content now.

02:20:27.000 To try to get someone to watch an old Tonight Show, the way we used to watch it.

02:20:34.000 The world's past the genre.

02:20:36.000 The genre's just not applicable anymore.

02:20:39.000 It's kind of like, too...

02:20:43.000 You know, when a movie was in a theater, you had to go see it in a theater.

02:20:48.000 Now it's playing in the theater and on TV. Yes.

02:20:52.000 Well, that's what I prefer.

02:20:54.000 I mean, I love going to the movies.

02:20:56.000 It's great.

02:20:56.000 You have popcorn.

02:20:57.000 You sit down. 1.00

02:20:58.000 But the risk of some moron talking on the phone or looking at their phone or talking to the people next to them, it's just too much. 1.00

02:21:07.000 It happens too often. 0.99

02:21:08.000 It happens like one out of ten times, and it ruins it.

02:21:11.000 Yeah, they're having a whole conversation and it's like, you're in the movie, someone will walk in the door and they'll go, oh look, he's walking in the door.

02:21:20.000 Oh boy, those are the best.

02:21:22.000 Those people are the best.

02:21:24.000 Yeah, it's just...

02:21:25.000 And that it costs you a fortune to go to a movie theater now.

02:21:30.000 Well, it's a thing to do, right?

02:21:32.000 You go on a date, then you go to the movies.

02:21:34.000 I used to love the place in LA. It was Cineopolis or Sinopolis.

02:21:39.000 I don't know exactly how you say it.

02:21:40.000 But they had a menu and the food was really good.

02:21:45.000 Oh, yes.

02:21:45.000 We're climbing chairs.

02:21:46.000 That was nice.

02:21:47.000 When waiter service, yeah, they deliver it to you.

02:21:52.000 Well, it's just like when TV came out, that's when movies started doing 3D. Because it's like, oh, see, you can't see this on TV. Right, right, right, right, yeah.

02:22:06.000 3D movies.

02:22:07.000 Do they make those anymore?

02:22:10.000 Yeah, I think one of the last Jurassic Park movies was in 3D. I didn't see it in 3D. They had Jaws 3 in 3D. Oh, but for that one scene, that one stupid scene where the shark's coming towards you,

02:22:27.000 it was only really applicable in one scene. 0.99

02:22:30.000 Yeah, the 3D glasses are always the fucking weird part of that. 0.98

02:22:35.000 Those fucking weird red and blue glasses you put on. 0.98

02:22:37.000 Yeah, they give you a headache immediately. 1.00

02:22:40.000 Yeah.

02:22:40.000 It's just not worth it.

02:22:43.000 And what do they have to do to make a movie 3D? Oh, I think it's shot with two different cameras, and it's like one gets a little of it this way, one a little, and then they put them together.

02:22:58.000 And with the glasses, it brings the pictures together and somehow creates a 3D effect.

02:23:05.000 And the funny thing is, the first 3D movie was a movie called Bawana Devil.

02:23:13.000 And the director had one eye.

02:23:19.000 And so he couldn't see if the 3D was working.

02:23:25.000 Because 3D tricks your eyes.

02:23:27.000 Right, the two eyes.

02:23:29.000 So the director didn't know if anything he was directing worked.

02:23:34.000 It's called Bawana Devil?

02:23:36.000 Bawana Devil. 1.00

02:23:39.000 And also 3D, like in Disneyland and stuff, they have 3D stuff that works, where you really want to reach out and grab things.

02:23:51.000 But most of the 3D movies I've watched, it's just a gimmick.

02:23:57.000 Yeah, and it seems like, I don't feel like anything's coming out of the screen here.

02:24:02.000 I feel like the next real change in all those kind of films, there it is.

02:24:08.000 Oh yes, yes, see?

02:24:10.000 Buona Devil.

02:24:11.000 Dun dun dun.

02:24:12.000 1952. You're watching it without glasses, so it's like blurry.

02:24:17.000 Right.

02:24:18.000 All in blazing action.

02:24:20.000 Buona Devil in thrilling color.

02:24:23.000 Starring Robert Stack.

02:24:25.000 Robert Stack.

02:24:28.000 This is where they talk.

02:24:34.000 This is where they talk.

02:24:45.000 Your pulse will pound.

02:24:47.000 To every throb of this jungle fury.

02:24:51.000 That's sexual.

02:24:53.000 They're doing that on purpose.

02:24:54.000 Yes.

02:24:55.000 Your pulse will pound to every throb.

02:24:57.000 They would always promise you in those ads, the words they'd use...

02:25:02.000 And in the posters, they would have like girls with their, you know, their dress ripped down the side. 0.95

02:25:10.000 And you'd always think, oh, this is going to be hot.

02:25:13.000 And then it never was.

02:25:15.000 Yeah.

02:25:16.000 That's the way they sell things, though.

02:25:18.000 It's kind of interesting that they've always done that.

02:25:20.000 Like from the beginning of advertising, it's always been like a hot girl with a cigarette. 0.74

02:25:24.000 Yes, yes.

02:25:27.000 And, you know, I've never seen them, but there were a handful of Three Stooges films made in 3D. You know, the Three Stooges shorts.

02:25:39.000 And according to what I've heard, the 3D in them was in bed.

02:25:44.000 Three Stooges in 3D. So you really thought Moe was spoke to you in the eyes?

02:25:49.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

02:25:50.000 Those are the kind of movies you can never do today.

02:25:53.000 They're bullying each other and hitting each other.

02:25:55.000 Oh, yes.

02:25:56.000 People would never tolerate that.

02:25:57.000 No, no.

02:25:57.000 This is not funny.

02:25:58.000 This is rude.

02:25:59.000 Yeah, like in the later full-length, you know, Stooges, they weren't doing that.

02:26:07.000 No.

02:26:08.000 Like, he's being abusive to him.

02:26:10.000 Yeah, it was like, yeah, you know, I grew up on these movies, all the kids grew up on these movies, taking a saw and running it across someone's head, hitting a hammer.

02:26:25.000 Well, how about the old cartoons?

02:26:27.000 Oh, yes!

02:26:28.000 They were so violent.

02:26:29.000 Yes!

02:26:29.000 Everyone was getting shot in the face.

02:26:31.000 Everyone was getting blown up.

02:26:33.000 Anvils were dropping on people's heads.

02:26:35.000 It was always violence.

02:26:37.000 Yes!

02:26:37.000 That's what people thought was funny.

02:26:38.000 You know what's really fucked? 0.99

02:26:40.000 Watch the early Popeyes. 1.00

02:26:42.000 Because in the early Popeyes, Bluto was just a rapist. 0.98

02:26:46.000 He was just trying to rape Olive Oil. 0.96

02:26:49.000 And Olive Oil's running away.

02:26:50.000 No, Pluto!

02:26:52.000 And he was grabbing her.

02:26:52.000 Get over here.

02:26:55.000 Oh, yeah.

02:26:56.000 They were horrible.

02:26:57.000 Yeah, Popeye was one of those weird cartoons.

02:27:00.000 Yeah, real weird.

02:27:01.000 Super violent.

02:27:02.000 Yes. 0.75

02:27:03.000 Super violent and super rapey.

02:27:05.000 And then what always got me with Popeye...

02:27:08.000 He would eat spinach to swallow a can of spinach to get strong.

02:27:15.000 But he would first crush the can with his bare hand.

02:27:21.000 And I go, so he must have been pretty strong before the spinach.

02:27:27.000 Average guy can crush a tin can with his hand.

02:27:31.000 What weird propaganda for spinach.

02:27:34.000 Yes.

02:27:35.000 I remember when I was a kid, I asked my dad if I could have a can of spinach to sleep with.

02:27:41.000 I wanted to hold on to it when I went to bed because I love Popeye.

02:27:45.000 I was probably four or something like that.

02:27:47.000 I just thought a can of spinach would be a good thing to sleep with.

02:27:51.000 Oh, and remember, that was a terrible movie, Robin Williams as Poplar.

02:27:58.000 Oh! 0.60

02:27:59.000 That wasn't that bad. 0.97

02:28:00.000 Shelley Duvall, the big crazy fake forearms. 0.99

02:28:03.000 Yeah. 0.80

02:28:04.000 But it's like, why spinach?

02:28:07.000 Yeah.

02:28:08.000 Spinach is not that good.

02:28:09.000 I think it's because that was one of those famous foods that kids didn't like.

02:28:15.000 Oh, right.

02:28:16.000 You know, eat your spinach, Billy.

02:28:18.000 Right.

02:28:18.000 And so, because Popeye was eating his spinach.

02:28:21.000 Oh, so, yeah.

02:28:22.000 I'm strong to the finish because I eat the spinach.

02:28:26.000 I'm Popeye the Sailor Man.

02:28:29.000 Toot toot. 0.51

02:28:30.000 Remember that?

02:28:31.000 And I remember there was like, when they still had kiddie show hosts, it was Captain Jack McCarthy.

02:28:41.000 He would come out on this phony looking boat and he'd be in a captain's outfit and he'd present Popeye cartoons.

02:28:50.000 And then there was Officer Joe Bolton Who would, you know, come out as a police officer, swinging his nightstick.

02:29:02.000 He'd show the Three Stooges.

02:29:06.000 Oh, there was Chuck McCann.

02:29:09.000 I don't remember any of these guys.

02:29:10.000 Yeah.

02:29:11.000 You know, the worst one of those is the one from the UK that Jimmy Savile, is that how you say his name?

02:29:17.000 That's the guy that molested all those kids. 0.92

02:29:19.000 Do you know that story?

02:29:21.000 No.

02:29:22.000 Oh, this is a horrible story because the guy looked like someone who'd molest kids. 0.79

02:29:27.000 And he apparently molested kids for years and years and years.

02:29:33.000 And everyone knew it.

02:29:35.000 All the people that worked on the show knew it.

02:29:37.000 All the people that worked behind the scenes knew it.

02:29:39.000 That's the guy.

02:29:41.000 Jimmy Savile.

02:29:44.000 If you hadn't told me that story, I'd look at him and say, child molester.

02:29:49.000 Well, look, as he got older, he got really creepy looking.

02:29:52.000 Oh, God!

02:29:52.000 Beyond creepy!

02:29:54.000 And apparently he had molested hundreds of kids for fucking decades. 1.00

02:29:59.000 And they didn't find out about it. 1.00

02:30:01.000 They didn't prove it until after he was dead.

02:30:04.000 So after he was dead, how Jimmy Savile used power and fame to abuse hundreds of children for decades.

02:30:10.000 After Jimmy Savile's death in 2011, I hope I'm saying his name right.

02:30:15.000 Well, who cares? 1.00

02:30:16.000 He's a fucking piece of shit and he's dead. 1.00

02:30:17.000 An investigation into sexual abuse allegations against TV personality revealed that at least 500 victims, some of whom were just two years old, Oh my god. 1.00

02:30:29.000 Yeah, and this guy did this forever.

02:30:32.000 Put that back up there so I can see it.

02:30:33.000 It says, when British TV rating personality Jimmy Saville reached his knighthood, they knighted him in 1990. Oh my god.

02:30:41.000 Many asked, what took so long?

02:30:43.000 A beloved DJ and BBC presenter, there was something about Saville's cigar-chomping, eccentric on-air personality that put audiences in the United Kingdom at ease.

02:30:53.000 In the eyes of Saville's most staunch supporters and loyal followers, a knighthood was a fitting culmination to his career. 0.96

02:31:01.000 Which is fucking crazy. 0.98

02:31:03.000 So if you look at the guy, when you scroll down all the pictures of him with kids, just imagine that all these poor kids had no recourse and he was sexually abusing all of them. 0.99

02:31:13.000 And I mean, it still goes on to this day.

02:31:16.000 If he's making money for you, then you're a little more forgiving.

02:31:23.000 Wow, I mean, that was always the Harvey Weinstein thing, right?

02:31:25.000 He was making these massive blockbuster films, and the actresses just had to... 1.00

02:31:30.000 The only way to get in these films was...

02:31:33.000 Quinn Tarantino was telling me this about an old-time movie producer guy, that he had a bed in his office. 1.00

02:31:42.000 So when the women would come in to audition, he would take the starlets to the bed and he would fuck them all. 1.00

02:31:47.000 That's how you got a movie role. 1.00

02:31:50.000 That was the only way you did it.

02:31:51.000 And the funny thing is, they always act like, oh, well, this guy's in jail, now the casting couch is over with.

02:32:00.000 Right.

02:32:00.000 You know.

02:32:01.000 Well, the casting couch was pervasive.

02:32:03.000 Yeah.

02:32:04.000 Right?

02:32:04.000 It was the whole business.

02:32:05.000 Yeah.

02:32:05.000 Like, that's how those producers, that's how they cast these films.

02:32:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:32:10.000 They made sure that these women fucked them. 1.00

02:32:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:32:13.000 Which is crazy.

02:32:14.000 But then there's also the predator women who, like, I know how to get ahead. 1.00

02:32:18.000 Yes. 1.00

02:32:18.000 I'm gonna fuck this guy, like... 1.00

02:32:20.000 Not all of them were victims. 1.00

02:32:21.000 You hear these stories about famous actresses that they would come in, they'd offer to fuck them right away. 1.00

02:32:29.000 Yeah, well that's how, there's a lot of them that did it that way. 0.98

02:32:33.000 Well they realized early on, like if you're an actress or an actor and you're just auditioning all the time and you're not getting ahead and you're getting desperate and years are going by.

02:32:43.000 And there's 20 billion beautiful girls auditioning with you. 1.00

02:32:48.000 That's what's crazy, right?

02:32:49.000 Yeah.

02:32:50.000 And the reality of acting is, certain acting, if you want to be like Meryl Streep or Faye Dunaway or Daniel Day-Lewis, that's a crazy, high-level acting that's insanely difficult and it takes real immense talent.

02:33:05.000 Most acting's not that.

02:33:06.000 Most acting is pretend.

02:33:08.000 And you can do it.

02:33:09.000 And you can do it probably pretty easy. 1.00

02:33:12.000 Most people who have half a fucking brain, you can act. 1.00

02:33:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:33:18.000 A little bit. 0.98

02:33:19.000 And yeah, I've heard like, yeah, there's loads of these famous names people, see, who've just fucked their way to the top. 0.98

02:33:28.000 Yeah, it's wild. 0.82

02:33:29.000 And I remember there was like one, you know, really famous top-level producer who, there was one woman who worked in his organization, one of the high-level people, And it was just said. 0.99

02:33:47.000 Very matter of fact, oh yeah, she fucked everybody to get there. 1.00

02:33:50.000 It wasn't even like a put-down. 0.99

02:33:52.000 Yeah.

02:33:53.000 I know girls who have dated guys who are like the head of networks, and that's how they got shows.

02:33:57.000 And I'm sure they all say...

02:34:00.000 I had no idea he was a movie producer.

02:34:04.000 Or, that's not why I got the show.

02:34:06.000 Yeah, no.

02:34:07.000 We were working together and he appreciated my talent.

02:34:10.000 Yes.

02:34:11.000 Or the other...

02:34:13.000 Oh, another thing I heard is after...

02:34:16.000 What was it?

02:34:22.000 Whatever the name of that movie where Sharon Stone crosses her legs. 1.00

02:34:27.000 Basic Instinct.

02:34:29.000 After that, they said there was a large amount of actresses coming in wearing a skirt and crossing their legs and not having underwear. 0.74

02:34:41.000 It became a thing.

02:34:44.000 Do you remember when a bunch of the famous ladies, like publicly famous, where they would always be at parties and stuff, were getting photographed with no underwear on, getting out of limousines?

02:34:55.000 There was like a phase.

02:34:56.000 Yes!

02:34:57.000 Like Lindsay Lohan, those type of gals. 1.00

02:35:00.000 Britney Spears. 1.00

02:35:01.000 They just were showing their pussy. 1.00

02:35:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:35:03.000 Like it became a thing they did. 1.00

02:35:04.000 Yes!

02:35:05.000 Yes!

02:35:05.000 But it came and went.

02:35:07.000 It was like, nah, that's too much.

02:35:09.000 People just stopped.

02:35:10.000 They did it for a little while, and I was like, oh my god, is this what it's going to be from now on?

02:35:14.000 But it was so obvious, because all of the photographs were from underneath. 1.00

02:35:18.000 You didn't know that there was a guy lying on the ground with a fucking camera staring at your pussy? 1.00

02:35:23.000 I love the fact Sharon Stone says she was strict. 1.00

02:35:27.000 She didn't know. 0.88

02:35:28.000 And I'm thinking, oh, you didn't see a light right between your legs?

02:35:34.000 I don't know if she said that. 0.99

02:35:35.000 Maybe she was misquoted because that sounds like a ridiculous thing to say. 0.91

02:35:39.000 It was seductive. 0.87

02:35:40.000 She knew what she was doing.

02:35:41.000 She was purposely showing her beaver for a couple of seconds. 0.89

02:35:44.000 And she probably got paid like 50 times as much for her next movie. 1.00

02:35:50.000 I bet she did.

02:35:51.000 Well, she was also a great actress.

02:35:53.000 She did that on top of it. 0.99

02:35:55.000 She was in some terrible movies, too, though.

02:35:57.000 She was in...

02:35:58.000 It wasn't a terrible movie, but it wasn't a good role.

02:36:01.000 She was in Above the Law with Steven Seagal.

02:36:03.000 She was his girlfriend for his wife.

02:36:06.000 That was the early days that she couldn't pick and choose her roles.

02:36:12.000 But Basic Instinct was a good movie.

02:36:14.000 And that scene was a good scene.

02:36:16.000 It worked.

02:36:16.000 That character worked.

02:36:18.000 And look, you would literally have to freeze-frame it to see her pussy. 1.00

02:36:23.000 It was so quick. 0.99

02:36:25.000 And everyone, when they say, oh, you know, you see her pussy in that scene, I thought, I remember it was showing on TV, and it was like, you know, cable, so I would go right up to the screen, I brush my nose against the screen, 0.99

02:36:41.000 and not see it. 0.98

02:36:42.000 And it wasn't until, like, freeze frame, you go, oh, okay, there it is.

02:36:46.000 I've always wondered, like, What some people have done, like girls like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton, they released a sex tape.

02:36:56.000 Yeah.

02:36:57.000 Oh, God.

02:36:58.000 You know, that's okay.

02:37:01.000 Yeah.

02:37:02.000 And Paris Hilton.

02:37:05.000 Yeah.

02:37:05.000 And I'm thinking, they all claim it got robbed.

02:37:10.000 Someone broke in.

02:37:11.000 And I'm thinking, so crooks break into a house and go, quick, let's get the sex tapes. 0.96

02:37:20.000 Yeah. 0.94

02:37:20.000 That's what they get. 0.94

02:37:21.000 Yeah.

02:37:21.000 They're not looking for jewelry or money.

02:37:25.000 They're going to find if they're a sex... 1.00

02:37:27.000 That was always such a bullshit story. 1.00

02:37:29.000 It's a bullshit story, but it's also effective. 1.00

02:37:32.000 The thing is, what I was going to get at, if they decided to do an actual porn, their career would be over. 1.00

02:37:38.000 Yes.

02:37:39.000 It's a weird loophole.

02:37:40.000 Yes.

02:37:40.000 Yeah.

02:37:41.000 Right? 0.94

02:37:41.000 If someone who is a famous actress, if a sex tape got out, It'd be like, oh my god, it's a sex tape. 0.94

02:37:49.000 It'd probably make them more popular.

02:37:51.000 Yeah.

02:37:51.000 But if Scarlett Johansson decided to do a film where she has sex with her husband and films it and then puts it out online or whatever, people would immediately lose respect for her.

02:38:02.000 Yeah, she would never get work again.

02:38:08.000 And also, it adds to the thrill of, oh God, she was trying to hide this as well as she could, and somebody grabbed it, and now we can see it.

02:38:22.000 Right, we're not supposed to see it.

02:38:24.000 We're naughty.

02:38:24.000 We're being naughty.

02:38:25.000 Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

02:38:27.000 I mean, I saw the one that I thought was totally boring.

02:38:33.000 Most of them are boring.

02:38:34.000 The one that I thought was really boring, the Pam Anderson... 1.00

02:38:38.000 Tommy Lee?

02:38:39.000 Yeah.

02:38:40.000 That was putting me to sleep.

02:38:44.000 I think that was the first one, right?

02:38:45.000 Wasn't that the first of the sex tapes?

02:38:47.000 One of them, certainly, yeah.

02:38:49.000 I think that was the first one that was released like that.

02:38:53.000 Oh, and remember when Dustin Screech Diamond put out a sex tape?

02:39:00.000 I think he did it on purpose.

02:39:02.000 Yeah, his was on purpose.

02:39:03.000 He died.

02:39:04.000 Yeah.

02:39:05.000 He died recently.

02:39:06.000 What did he die of?

02:39:06.000 Like a heart attack or something.

02:39:08.000 Yeah, some kind of cancer or something that went through his body really quick.

02:39:13.000 And see, they already did that movie Behind the Bell, I think it was called, where like, you know, Documentary about the cast.

02:39:25.000 Yeah, well like TV movie with actors playing those actors.

02:39:28.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

02:39:29.000 Which I always love.

02:39:31.000 Actors playing actors is hilarious.

02:39:34.000 So they already did that and I thought had they waited, you know, him getting sick all of a sudden and dying could have been the ending.

02:39:45.000 Because it's just like, you know, they throw together these, you know, Hollywood true stories and behind the scenes.

02:39:55.000 And they had one with the two Corys, you know, Corey Feldman and Corey Haim.

02:40:01.000 And it ends with...

02:40:05.000 And Corey Haim kicked drugs and is healthier and happier than ever.

02:40:13.000 And Corey Feldman is now happily married.

02:40:19.000 And I saw it again recently.

02:40:22.000 And they put in a voice at the end afterwards saying...

02:40:28.000 Corey Haim died and Corey Feldman got a divorce.

02:40:35.000 I met Corey Feldman once and I felt bad for him.

02:40:38.000 Just like he just seemed like tortured.

02:40:41.000 Yeah.

02:40:42.000 He was one of those guys that had horrible stories about being sexually abused by producers and stuff in Hollywood.

02:40:49.000 Both of them.

02:40:50.000 Yeah, both of them as children.

02:40:52.000 And I believe him.

02:40:53.000 Yeah.

02:40:54.000 It seems real.

02:40:56.000 And when you see the guy, you're like, well, something went wrong.

02:40:59.000 I mean, clearly being famous at a really young age like that is not good for you.

02:41:03.000 Yes, yes.

02:41:04.000 And then if his allegations of sexual abuse are true on top of that, it's terrifying.

02:41:12.000 Yeah, I heard both of them. 0.98

02:41:15.000 That fucking business of just wanting to be chosen, of wanting to be the person who gets cast in this film, this project, and that's what you have to do to make your career. 0.98

02:41:24.000 Just that dynamic alone. 1.00

02:41:26.000 What a fucked up way to live. 0.99

02:41:29.000 And most of the people getting into it are already insecure. 1.00

02:41:32.000 Yes.

02:41:32.000 And then on top of that, you've got to be chosen, and then most of the time you're rejected, so you're rejected nine out of ten times if you're lucky.

02:41:41.000 And you could see why, like, actors and actresses will fuck a producer and director. 0.98

02:41:49.000 Exactly. 0.99

02:41:50.000 Because they'll go, hmm, you know, they're already out fucking loads of people they don't like anyway.

02:41:58.000 So why not someone who can make you a billionaire?

02:42:02.000 Also, they probably at a certain point in time think this is probably the only way I can get in.

02:42:06.000 Yes.

02:42:07.000 And that's what they want more than anything.

02:42:10.000 I remember I had a buddy of mine, and he had just gotten a television show.

02:42:14.000 And I was there when he told his girlfriend.

02:42:17.000 He was telling his girlfriend that he got this television.

02:42:18.000 And the girl starts crying.

02:42:21.000 And she's like, when is something ever going to happen to me?

02:42:24.000 And he's like...

02:42:27.000 Yes, yes.

02:42:28.000 I have a show.

02:42:29.000 I'm happy. 1.00

02:42:29.000 It's like, fuck you. 1.00

02:42:30.000 When is something going to happen to me? 1.00

02:42:32.000 That's all she could say.

02:42:33.000 It's like, when is it going to happen to me?

02:42:35.000 For every girl like that, there's a hundred thousand more. 0.60

02:42:39.000 Yes.

02:42:40.000 And maybe more than that.

02:42:41.000 Just waiting to do that exact same role.

02:42:44.000 And it is one of these things like...

02:42:47.000 You know, girls leave their hometowns where they're like, you know, drop-dead gorgeous, and they show up in Hollywood where there's a trillion girls working in a laundromat. 1.00

02:43:01.000 Yeah.

02:43:01.000 You know, as beautiful as them, if not more.

02:43:04.000 And a lot of them get into porn, and that's what's really crazy.

02:43:07.000 Yes.

02:43:08.000 When you see porn stars that are just drop-dead beautiful. 0.95

02:43:11.000 Yes. 0.97

02:43:11.000 And they're just getting stuffed. 0.97

02:43:14.000 And you see it, like, when they started doing, like, the high-end strip clubs, and I go, oh, God, this girl's beautiful.

02:43:24.000 Yeah.

02:43:24.000 It used to be, like, strip clubs that were smelly and the girls were scuzzy-looking.

02:43:30.000 I think if you're, like, a really hot woman and you want to make a lot of money and you don't want to have a regular job, they just go, look, I'll just do this for a little while.

02:43:38.000 Yeah.

02:43:39.000 Make some cash.

02:43:40.000 Yeah.

02:43:41.000 I wish there was an option like that for guys.

02:43:43.000 I know.

02:43:44.000 And I mean, they have the male like Chippendales. 1.00

02:43:48.000 Yeah.

02:43:48.000 But I don't think...

02:43:50.000 It's a little different.

02:43:51.000 And I don't...

02:43:53.000 I think women go there... 1.00

02:43:55.000 It's festive.

02:43:57.000 Yeah.

02:43:57.000 Like, it's a goof when women go there.

02:44:00.000 Men, it's serious.

02:44:02.000 Yeah.

02:44:03.000 And I think when women, and they do this in movies too, and women do it, you know, hooting and hollering, and no, that's not in a real strip club. 1.00

02:44:15.000 No one's hooting, and it's very, it's like what we were talking about before.

02:44:20.000 Yeah.

02:44:21.000 You know, you're not looking at the person sitting next to you, and you're being very quiet.

02:44:27.000 Yeah.

02:44:28.000 And you're just staring.

02:44:29.000 Yes.

02:44:29.000 Yeah, like you can't believe this is an actual naked woman in front of you.

02:44:32.000 Whoa, look at that. 0.97

02:44:34.000 She's naked. 1.00

02:44:35.000 Crazy. 0.99

02:44:36.000 Right there.

02:44:36.000 Yeah.

02:44:37.000 She's looking at you like, oh, I think she likes me.

02:44:39.000 And see, there too, like with porn, when I watch that, it's like in the first, you know, couple of minutes, oh my God, look at this. 1.00

02:44:50.000 And then somewhere along the way it will hit me and I go, okay, another pair of tits. 1.00

02:44:58.000 Well, you definitely get desensitized if you watch too much of it. 1.00

02:45:01.000 Oh, yeah.

02:45:02.000 I remember the first time I ever saw porn, I was probably like 14 or something like that.

02:45:07.000 The first time I saw it on a VHS, I was like, oh!

02:45:09.000 Yes.

02:45:09.000 I couldn't believe it.

02:45:11.000 Like, the shock of watching people have sex and how exciting it was.

02:45:14.000 Like, this is crazy.

02:45:16.000 Yeah.

02:45:16.000 Like, you never get to recreate that feeling.

02:45:19.000 Yeah.

02:45:19.000 It's so commonplace.

02:45:21.000 Like, my friends will send me some, like, ridiculous guy's dick and some poor girl is trying to stuff it in their mouth. 1.00

02:45:31.000 They think it's funny. 1.00

02:45:31.000 I'm like, how many of these videos are out there? 1.00

02:45:33.000 Yeah.

02:45:33.000 There's millions of them.

02:45:35.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:45:36.000 To me, the first porn I saw that I was too young to see, but like I said, no one gave a fuck. 0.99

02:45:45.000 And remember that time? 0.98

02:45:48.000 There was a time period when porn became a cool social thing to do.

02:45:55.000 Deep Throat.

02:45:56.000 Yeah, Deep Throat, Devil and Miss Jones. 0.91

02:46:02.000 Legitimate movie theaters were showing porn.

02:46:05.000 There's a video of Johnny Carson waiting in line to go see Deep Throat.

02:46:10.000 Yeah.

02:46:10.000 And a bunch of other, like, prominent celebrities are waiting in line to go see this film, and they're going to sit down in a movie theater and watch this like they're watching any other kind of movie.

02:46:20.000 And yeah, I remember there were a lot—then they'd make a bunch of porn, all hoping to be the next Deep Throat.

02:46:27.000 Yeah.

02:46:28.000 Yeah, and it would be classy movie theaters.

02:46:31.000 Yeah, and somehow or another people just got tired of that.

02:46:34.000 Yeah.

02:46:34.000 I wonder what happened.

02:46:36.000 Probably too many guys jacking off in the movie theater. 0.84

02:46:37.000 I'm sure.

02:46:39.000 You're worried about the guys in back of you talking.

02:46:43.000 Yeah. 0.92

02:46:44.000 Getting whacked in the head. 0.99

02:46:46.000 I know how many people were just real creeps and they actually wanted to jerk off on someone. 0.99

02:46:51.000 Like, if you're a woman and you're at that, and there's some guy behind you with a raincoat on, you're like, is this safe? 0.93

02:46:57.000 Is this a safe spot to be in?

02:46:58.000 You want to be only in the back row.

02:47:00.000 Yes.

02:47:01.000 Yeah.

02:47:02.000 It is weird how that changed, that there was a brief window, and I don't know how long that brief window was, where they would make an actual film with sex in there.

02:47:13.000 Yeah.

02:47:15.000 Do you know who Vincent Gallo is?

02:47:17.000 Oh, yes, yes.

02:47:18.000 Do you know that whole story with him?

02:47:19.000 No.

02:47:20.000 He made a film called Brown Bunny.

02:47:22.000 And in this film, Brown Bunny... 1.00

02:47:24.000 Oh, she sucks a cock in it. 1.00

02:47:26.000 They had a real sex scene. 1.00

02:47:28.000 She actually does, yeah.

02:47:29.000 Chloe...

02:47:30.000 How do you say her name?

02:47:31.000 Chloe Seven Yee, I think.

02:47:33.000 That's it. 1.00

02:47:34.000 So she and him have an actual oral sex scene. 1.00

02:47:38.000 Yeah, they show her mouth on his cock. 1.00

02:47:41.000 Yeah, and it killed his career. 1.00

02:47:43.000 Yeah.

02:47:44.000 That film killed his career, and he was like a celebrated guy.

02:47:47.000 He was in that, I think, Buffalo 66, and he'd been in a bunch of films, and he was a real eccentric, interesting actor to a lot of people.

02:47:55.000 But after that, that was it.

02:47:57.000 It all dried up.

02:47:58.000 I remember one time...

02:48:01.000 They said to me, this was years ago, that he wanted to do a movie, he wanted me in one of his movies, and to give him a call.

02:48:12.000 And I gave him a call, and I'm on the phone with him, and I think he mentions the movie like once in passing. 0.89

02:48:22.000 And then he's talking about all the different famous actresses he fucks. 0.99

02:48:29.000 And what their tits look like. 1.00

02:48:31.000 That's what you wanted to talk about? 0.99

02:48:33.000 That's hilarious.

02:48:35.000 He's an interesting guy.

02:48:36.000 Very eccentric.

02:48:38.000 Every now and then I'll look at his Instagram and I'm like, Jesus Christ.

02:48:41.000 Very politically active, if you want to say that.

02:48:44.000 But just an odd duck.

02:48:46.000 And I think that just wrecked him.

02:48:48.000 Yeah.

02:48:49.000 I mean, I don't know what his thoughts are on what it was like to do that, but before that, he was a big actor.

02:48:54.000 And then there are those movies with the rumors that the actors legitimately- Actually had sex.

02:49:02.000 Yes, yeah.

02:49:03.000 I'm sure that definitely happened. 0.98

02:49:05.000 I had a buddy of mine, and he was in a film, and he had a sex scene with a girl under the sheet, and she said, if you want, we can have real sex. 0.99

02:49:13.000 Oh, man! 0.99

02:49:14.000 Yeah.

02:49:15.000 And he panicked.

02:49:17.000 And he's like, in front of everybody?

02:49:20.000 What do you mean?

02:49:22.000 He's like, I don't have a condom.

02:49:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:49:24.000 And she wanted him to fuck her. 1.00

02:49:27.000 Oh, man. 1.00

02:49:28.000 Look at you.

02:49:29.000 You get excited.

02:49:30.000 Yes! 1.00

02:49:30.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

02:49:32.000 That's never happened in my career. 1.00

02:49:34.000 Yeah, well, I've never been in a sex scene either.

02:49:39.000 It's weird to me how everybody wants to have sex.

02:49:44.000 Yeah. 0.95

02:49:44.000 Like, most people want to have sex. 0.95

02:49:46.000 But if someone sees you have sex, it's bad. 0.94

02:49:49.000 Yes. 0.99

02:49:50.000 The thing that can destroy any career, it's like in politics or a show business, oh wait, they fuck a lot? 1.00

02:50:02.000 Exactly, right? 0.98

02:50:04.000 Well, with some people, there's double standards though.

02:50:07.000 Like with some people, it's actually celebrated, like Warren Beatty, right? 1.00

02:50:11.000 It was celebrated that he fucked all these women. 1.00

02:50:14.000 But if a woman fucks a lot of guys... 1.00

02:50:17.000 She's a whore. 1.00

02:50:18.000 She's a whore. 1.00

02:50:18.000 That's not celebrated at all. 1.00

02:50:20.000 It's very strange. 0.99

02:50:22.000 Or as we used to call it in Brooklyn, a whore. 1.00

02:50:25.000 It's weird, though, that you can't have real sex in a film, but you could have at least what looks like real violence. 0.99

02:50:34.000 Yes!

02:50:35.000 Yes.

02:50:35.000 Real violence, like horrible gunshot wounds and terrible things, blood everywhere.

02:50:41.000 Nobody has a problem with that.

02:50:42.000 Yeah.

02:50:43.000 Which is way worse than sex.

02:50:44.000 But you know the funny thing about violence in movies?

02:50:48.000 When you watch a fight in real life, like out in a street fight, it's ugly and disturbing.

02:50:56.000 And in movies...

02:50:59.000 99 times out of 100, it's kind of pretty to watch.

02:51:04.000 It's choreographed.

02:51:05.000 This guy throws a punch.

02:51:07.000 That guy throws a punch.

02:51:09.000 Right.

02:51:10.000 It's not real.

02:51:10.000 But the problem with that is it gets a lot of people thinking that's what a fight is like.

02:51:14.000 Yes.

02:51:15.000 So they're out in the real world.

02:51:16.000 They actually want to get into fights because they want to pretend they're that guy from the movie.

02:51:20.000 They get their skulls crushed in real life.

02:51:22.000 Yeah.

02:51:23.000 Not good.

02:51:25.000 Yeah.

02:51:26.000 Because I do work for the Ultimate Fighting Championship, I'm a color commentator for the UFC. I've seen probably, I don't know, a thousand people get the fuck beaten out of them.

02:51:38.000 I've called more than a thousand fights, but I've seen a lot of horrible beatdowns.

02:51:43.000 And you get oddly desensitized to physical violence.

02:51:48.000 Well, you know what?

02:51:52.000 This was a horrible time period.

02:51:56.000 When actors who their careers were over with needed to be on TV to make a check and be seen at the same time, they were having those celebrity fights.

02:52:11.000 Yeah, they're still doing those.

02:52:12.000 Yeah, and I remember they'd have it with, you know...

02:52:19.000 Danny Bonaduce, I think the guy who was Screech was in one, Donny Osmond, everything.

02:52:28.000 And you'd go, this is like, you know, the Roman Coliseum.

02:52:37.000 They just did one recently that Aaron Carter...

02:52:40.000 Oh, that's right.

02:52:42.000 Yes.

02:52:43.000 And Lamar Odom.

02:52:44.000 Yeah.

02:52:44.000 Pro basketball player, Lamar Odom and Aaron Carter.

02:52:47.000 And it was one of the worst ones I've ever seen.

02:52:50.000 Because Aaron Carter had no business fighting anybody.

02:52:54.000 Yeah.

02:52:54.000 Like he had no idea what he was doing.

02:52:57.000 And it's not like Lamar Odom is like a skilled boxer, but he beat the shit out of him. 0.97

02:53:03.000 But it was sad. 0.98

02:53:04.000 It was because he was so much smaller than him, first of all.

02:53:06.000 And then also, like, flailing wildly, like, really shouldn't have been there.

02:53:12.000 And you'd see the fighters, they'd zoom in on them after the fight, where, like, one eye is the size of a baseball, and, like, blood's coming down their face.

02:53:24.000 You have no interest in celebrity boxing matches, is that what you're saying?

02:53:26.000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

02:53:29.000 Who would you fight if you had to fight someone in celebrity boxing?

02:53:32.000 Maybe Betty White. 1.00

02:53:34.000 What if you lost, though? 1.00

02:53:36.000 Yeah, I could see her kicking my ass. 1.00

02:53:42.000 That would be a real issue. 1.00

02:53:44.000 I could get my ass kicked by Stephen Hawking. 0.99

02:53:48.000 Not anymore. 1.00

02:53:50.000 You outlived?

02:53:51.000 Yeah.

02:53:53.000 How old are you now, Gilbert?

02:53:55.000 Oh, God, I'm old.

02:53:56.000 How old are you?

02:53:57.000 Uh, 66. You look good.

02:53:59.000 Yeah.

02:54:00.000 You look good for 66. Yeah.

02:54:01.000 Yeah.

02:54:02.000 Something about having fun, laughing.

02:54:04.000 Yeah.

02:54:06.000 How long do you think you're going to do stand-up till?

02:54:07.000 Have you ever thought about it?

02:54:08.000 Oh, God.

02:54:10.000 You're just going to do it like Carlin did to the end?

02:54:12.000 Yeah, I don't know.

02:54:15.000 It's like...

02:54:16.000 I say it and it's true.

02:54:20.000 When I'm waiting backstage before I'm about to go on, I'm always thinking...

02:54:25.000 Oh God, wouldn't it be great if the manager of the club came back and said, there's a fire or a flood and here's your check, go home.

02:54:37.000 So I always dream about that.

02:54:39.000 But I think as long as they offer me a check, I'm going to be going, all right.

02:54:46.000 But once you're on stage and you're killing, you still love it.

02:54:50.000 Yeah, more so than being backstage.

02:54:56.000 It's kind of like...

02:54:59.000 Being backstage about to go on is like being, you know, either at the beach or by a swimming pool and you're dipping your toe into the water and going, oh, that's horrible.

02:55:13.000 That's freezing.

02:55:14.000 And then when you actually are in it, then it's fine when you're in it.

02:55:18.000 Yeah, you adjust.

02:55:20.000 Yeah.

02:55:22.000 It's...

02:55:24.000 It's a weird way to make a living, man.

02:55:26.000 It's totally alien to most people to be the center of attention like that and to also be eliciting a response out of people.

02:55:34.000 You have to make them laugh.

02:55:36.000 You have to figure out what's funny.

02:55:39.000 Yeah.

02:55:40.000 It's a weird way to live.

02:55:42.000 Oh, it definitely is.

02:55:43.000 And the other thing, show business in general, and well, particularly comics, and that's that it's definitely two personalities.

02:55:59.000 That get you into the business.

02:56:01.000 One of them is, you know, I'm great. 0.97

02:56:07.000 I'm great and the world is going to know how fucking great I am. 0.91

02:56:12.000 And the other part is like, oh, oh, please, they have to love me. 0.97

02:56:16.000 They have to love me.

02:56:18.000 Yeah.

02:56:18.000 So it's both.

02:56:20.000 And it's some people that fucking hate themselves. 0.99

02:56:22.000 Yes. 0.99

02:56:23.000 They hate themselves, and then they get on stage, and they get just a little bit of life support just out of getting that laugh, and then they get off stage to hate themselves even more.

02:56:31.000 Oh, absolutely.

02:56:33.000 And then so many.

02:56:37.000 It's your parents.

02:56:40.000 You still want to get approval from your parents.

02:56:44.000 So they're not there, so the audience is your parents.

02:56:49.000 What is your writing process like?

02:56:51.000 Oh God, I'm terrible.

02:56:54.000 Most of the bits I've come up with have all been like on stage.

02:57:00.000 I start ad-libbing something and I do it.

02:57:03.000 But this whole thing like, you know, where you hear Jerry Seinfeld talk and it's like, Oh, well, I wake up at 2 o'clock in the morning, and I type 5,000 pages, and then I try not at night.

02:57:21.000 And yeah, no, I'm terrible as far as sitting down writing.

02:57:26.000 Do you ever do it?

02:57:26.000 Do you ever sit down and write?

02:57:28.000 Not anything from my act.

02:57:31.000 So most of the stuff that you say came from just performing a lot.

02:57:36.000 Yeah.

02:57:37.000 But you do write stuff that's not in your act?

02:57:40.000 Yeah.

02:57:40.000 I mean, I wrote a bunch of articles in National Lampoon.

02:57:45.000 Oh.

02:57:46.000 And like a handful for Playboy.

02:57:49.000 Oh, really?

02:57:50.000 Yeah.

02:57:50.000 And there's another thing.

02:57:52.000 Remember when Playboy, you know, Naked Girls, that was Playboy. 1.00

02:57:57.000 Yeah.

02:57:58.000 You know, it wasn't anywhere else.

02:58:00.000 That's where you saw naked girls was Playboy. 1.00

02:58:04.000 Well, Playboy tried for like a couple of months to not have naked girls. 0.97

02:58:08.000 Which is a real smart idea. 1.00

02:58:12.000 It's the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life. 1.00

02:58:13.000 They're like, we're going to be progressive and evolve. 1.00

02:58:16.000 Because, you know, our articles on how to get the perfect shave...

02:58:28.000 And they still, magazines and shows will still do that.

02:58:32.000 The perfect shave.

02:58:33.000 And I'll go...

02:58:35.000 uh throw some water on your face put on shaving cream and run the razor over that that's uh that there's no secret yeah you don't have to go to a barber shop and trust a guy with a straight edge near your neck too that's that's bizarre have you ever gone to a barber shop for a shave what the are you talking about how goddamn easy it is to shave and i i remember and they talk about the perfect one what's how much better is one from the other And one time I was at a radio

02:59:05.000 show and some guys were there with girls plugging there. 0.98

02:59:12.000 They had like a barber shop where you could get a shave from a girl. 1.00

02:59:18.000 And, you know, the thought of it sounds great because you're thinking, oh, like a cute girl, like she's shaving me like I'm the king and everything.

02:59:30.000 And so I thought, all right, I'll have one of them shave me.

02:59:34.000 And it wasn't one of those big grandpa shaves.

02:59:38.000 No one knows big.

02:59:40.000 It was a small razor.

02:59:42.000 And afterwards, when I got back to the hotel, I had to shave again because they're just patches. 0.99

02:59:49.000 She didn't know what the fuck she was doing. 0.99

02:59:51.000 She was just hot. 1.00

02:59:52.000 Yeah.

02:59:53.000 That's hilarious.

02:59:54.000 Yeah, the hot girls doing thing. 0.89

02:59:56.000 There was a place that was near me when I lived in California that had girls in bikinis that would cut hair. 1.00

03:00:03.000 Yeah.

03:00:04.000 So yeah.

03:00:05.000 They would have like bikini tops and booty shorts and they would cut hair. 0.99

03:00:08.000 So if it didn't give a fuck if they'd never cut hair before ever, you know, it's like, oh, hot looking girl. 1.00

03:00:17.000 You know, one thing Playboy did that was interesting, they had good interviews. 0.99

03:00:20.000 Yes.

03:00:21.000 They used to have a compilation book that I owned for a while.

03:00:26.000 I don't know where I left it.

03:00:27.000 But it was like all old interviews in Playboy magazine over the years that were very interesting.

03:00:33.000 Yeah.

03:00:34.000 Like one of them was Sinatra.

03:00:35.000 And I remember reading the interview.

03:00:37.000 I'm like, wow, he's a surprisingly...

03:00:40.000 Intelligent guy.

03:00:40.000 Yeah.

03:00:41.000 And some of the...

03:00:42.000 Just they were good interviews.

03:00:44.000 They were good at that.

03:00:45.000 Like, it wasn't...

03:00:46.000 There was no stigma attached to a woman being naked in a magazine.

03:00:50.000 Yeah.

03:00:51.000 And it was always the joke, I buy it for the articles.

03:00:53.000 Oh, yes, yes.

03:00:54.000 Right.

03:00:55.000 But then they tried to sell just the articles, and people were like, get the fuck out of that.

03:00:58.000 Yes. 1.00

03:00:58.000 Give me some tits. 1.00

03:00:59.000 I'm lying. 1.00

03:01:00.000 Yeah.

03:01:02.000 Yeah.

03:01:03.000 Well, listen, Gilbert, it's been a real pleasure.

03:01:06.000 It's been a treat to meet you.

03:01:08.000 I appreciate you coming in here.

03:01:10.000 And Skankfest.

03:01:12.000 That's where Gilbert will be this weekend.

03:01:14.000 Skankfest.

03:01:14.000 And then Cameo.

03:01:17.000 Cameo.com.

03:01:19.000 You can get a shout-out to Gilbert.

03:01:21.000 Cameo.com slash Gilbert Gottfried.

03:01:24.000 And then use the promo code JOEROGAN and you get 25% off.

03:01:29.000 Yes.

03:01:30.000 And this is the website, gilbertgodfried.com.

03:01:33.000 It'll have his tour dates, clips, cameo, the podcast, store, everything.

03:01:39.000 Yeah, Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast.

03:01:42.000 And yeah, use promo code JOEROGAN. Forgot your name there.

03:01:47.000 No!

03:01:48.000 No, I promo-chode.

03:01:52.000 See, I'm having a stroke in front of you.

03:01:55.000 Don't do that.

03:01:56.000 Not after that third jab.

03:01:58.000 Promo code Joe Rogan.

03:02:01.000 And get 25% off, and it's Cameo.com slash Gilbert.

03:02:07.000 And again, today is November 3rd that we're filming this, but this weekend you'll be at Skankfest in Houston.

03:02:14.000 So if you're hearing this and you're in Texas or you want to go to Texas and see Gilbert, Skankfest South, November 4th and 5th.

03:02:21.000 So it'll start tomorrow.

03:02:22.000 So you'll be there tomorrow.

03:02:23.000 Yes.

03:02:23.000 So when you hear this, if you hear it, the day comes out, Gilbert's at Skankfest.

03:02:27.000 Thank you, sir.

03:02:28.000 Thank you.

03:02:29.000 Now I have to pee.

03:02:30.000 Very much.

03:02:30.000 All right.

03:02:31.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - November 04, 2021

Joe Rogan Experience #1729 - Gilbert Gottfried

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