The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1822 - Chris DiStefano

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:05.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:12.000 And we're up.

00:00:13.000 Chrissy D in the place to be.

00:00:14.000 What's happening, baby?

00:00:15.000 Thank you for having me, my friend.

00:00:17.000 My pleasure.

00:00:17.000 I'm glad you wore that shirt.

00:00:18.000 Oh, yeah, I know.

00:00:19.000 Because I was going to wear one just like it.

00:00:20.000 Like this?

00:00:21.000 No.

00:00:21.000 Like Miami vibes?

00:00:23.000 Where'd you get that?

00:00:24.000 This is from a company called The Roosevelt's, R-S-V-L-T-S, and they sent me a bunch of shirts.

00:00:30.000 And I got that kind of body where I'm like, somebody said once that I had leading man face, best friend body, a casting director, which was crushing, but an accurate description.

00:00:40.000 Yeah, and I was like, oh, that's nice.

00:00:42.000 Here's the thing, though.

00:00:43.000 You can change your body.

00:00:44.000 You can't change your face.

00:00:45.000 Yes, that's the truth.

00:00:47.000 A leading man face is a great thing to have.

00:00:49.000 The rest of it is workable. 0.98

00:00:52.000 Since I've been a little kid, I've just had these puffy nipples. 0.97

00:00:57.000 Even when I was skinny and ripped, I just always had nice nipple fat.

00:01:01.000 And this shirt, what I've learned is wearing shirts with a lot of patterns like this distracts from the nipple fat. 0.91

00:01:06.000 I actually was flying out here yesterday and I was wearing this green shirt and I was wearing a book bag and when I went to the bathroom, my tits were pointed out like this.

00:01:14.000 I was like, I gotta change my shirt.

00:01:16.000 And then I just changed my shirt in the public bathroom at JFK and then I just threw that shirt out in the garbage.

00:01:22.000 Wow, it was that bad?

00:01:24.000 Well, I think I make it worse in my head, probably.

00:01:26.000 I just usually, I've been trying to do, be better.

00:01:29.000 You know, like good wolf, bad wolf?

00:01:31.000 Like that ancient Native American thing?

00:01:34.000 I've been trying to not feed that bad wolf. 1.00

00:01:36.000 I've been trying to feed the good wolf over the last two weeks, but it's very hard for me to feed the good wolf, because I usually just get up every day and I'm like, you piece of shit asshole loser, Chris. 1.00

00:01:46.000 I honestly think that's better than getting up and going, Chris, you're the fucking man. 1.00

00:01:51.000 Yeah, I don't think I've ever said that once about myself in any situation, even comedy. 0.99

00:01:56.000 I've never, I'm just always like, I just always feel like a dummy after almost everything I do.

00:02:04.000 It's not that...

00:02:05.000 I know it seems like it's bad, but it's not the worst thing in the world, because it makes you work a lot.

00:02:10.000 Yeah.

00:02:10.000 It makes you work harder.

00:02:11.000 Yeah, I always, like, today I went to the gym hard, hour and a half, as hard as I could, tried to eat right, you know, stay focused, and...

00:02:20.000 I was in there.

00:02:21.000 I did it.

00:02:21.000 But as time is going on, I'm 37 now.

00:02:25.000 I got three kids.

00:02:26.000 I'm kind of just realizing, like, when I... If I'm going to get in shape again, it's really...

00:02:31.000 I'm doing it for other guys.

00:02:33.000 Because women don't care. 1.00

00:02:34.000 My girl doesn't care. 1.00

00:02:36.000 Any woman has always been like, no, you look big. 1.00

00:02:38.000 You look like a metro sexual Viking or something. 0.99

00:02:41.000 You look bigger. 1.00

00:02:43.000 But guys are always like, nice tits. 1.00

00:02:45.000 Really? 0.99

00:02:45.000 I can see that you're... 0.99

00:02:46.000 You know, I can see you got back fat.

00:02:48.000 So when I... When I'm like trying to work out hard.

00:02:51.000 Is that a compliment?

00:02:53.000 I don't know.

00:02:54.000 Guy's like, bro, nice back fat.

00:02:55.000 Imagine if that was like something you cultivated.

00:02:58.000 You remember like Rubenesque women back in the day in like the 1800s or wherever it was. 0.84

00:03:03.000 I guess it was earlier than that.

00:03:04.000 They used to be hot.

00:03:06.000 The big giant ladies who ate a lot, because it was rare to get that much food. 1.00

00:03:11.000 Well, yeah, I mean, back in the day, I mean, I feel like if you had a lot of weight on you, it's because you were rich.

00:03:16.000 Imagine.

00:03:17.000 The rich used to be, and then the poor were skinny.

00:03:19.000 Now it's the opposite.

00:03:20.000 Right, but with the food shortages, what if getting back fat comes back into fashion?

00:03:25.000 Because we've got food shortages coming, according to Biden.

00:03:27.000 If that happens, and everybody gets real skinny, maybe having some back fat would be a thing.

00:03:32.000 People are like, dude, nice back fat.

00:03:34.000 What have you been eating?

00:03:35.000 Yeah, I'll be one of those hot 40 under 40 guys. 0.98

00:03:37.000 Just with back and nipple fat. 1.00

00:03:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:03:39.000 Yeah, it's been one of those things.

00:03:41.000 And you know what it is with me?

00:03:42.000 You know I think what happens is because I look like I could potentially be in shape.

00:03:47.000 I'd rather just be all the way fat because what happens with me is it's usually a letdown for women because they'll – multiple times in my life I've been hooking up with a girl and they thought this or that about my body and then I'll take my shirt off with the lights on and they'll go, oof, something like that. 1.00

00:04:03.000 Or a couple of girls will be like – Noise? 1.00

00:04:06.000 One girl, she was like, I swear, one time I was hooking up with this girl and I took my shirt off and she went, oh. 1.00

00:04:13.000 Ah! 1.00

00:04:19.000 Fuck! 1.00

00:04:20.000 And I just stood there kind of like looking down and then we turned the lights off and we had, I guess, relatively good sex. 1.00

00:04:26.000 Maybe not.

00:04:26.000 Actually, no.

00:04:27.000 I will say no.

00:04:28.000 We didn't because I've noticed when I was single, I would hook up with, you know, relatively good amount, healthy amount of women but almost exclusively never hook up with the woman a second time.

00:04:38.000 So I think that my performance in the bedroom isn't really that great.

00:04:43.000 Well, were you trying to follow up to date these ladies again?

00:04:48.000 Yeah.

00:04:48.000 Yeah, I would.

00:04:49.000 And they would just ghost you?

00:04:50.000 Yeah, I was the guy who pretty consistently got ghosted. 0.80

00:04:54.000 It got so bad, there's this porn star, Owen Gray.

00:04:57.000 You know Owen Gray? 0.92

00:04:58.000 No. 0.97

00:04:59.000 He's the only guy porn star I watch. 0.98

00:05:01.000 Shout out, Owen Gray. 0.98

00:05:02.000 Pornhub.

00:05:03.000 He's the only guy... 0.98

00:05:05.000 Like, if you looked at my search history, like, my girl, Jasmine, my mother of my children, my girlfriend, she's multiple times, like, sat me down and be like, if you're gay, tell me you're gay.

00:05:14.000 And I'm like, why do you...

00:05:17.000 And I'd be like, why do you think I'm gay?

00:05:19.000 And then she's like, because when I look at your search history, because we share a computer, she's like, all I see is this man, Owen Gray. 0.98

00:05:25.000 And I'm like, if you can believe this, I'm watching him to try to learn from him to have sex with you better. 0.92

00:05:33.000 And then she's like, I don't believe you. 0.93

00:05:36.000 Because he's just a pretty well-physiqued guy, tatted up, but the way he has sex with these women and goes down on them and kind of passionately makes love to them, I was like, I need to incorporate this, but it really doesn't work. 0.95

00:05:52.000 But is it like a self-image issue? 0.95

00:05:55.000 What do you think about it?

00:05:57.000 Well, first of all, every time I go down on a woman, I get a sore throat. 1.00

00:06:01.000 Always?

00:06:01.000 Why don't you put a Ricola in your mouth before you do it?

00:06:04.000 I've tried everything.

00:06:05.000 I also have a short tongue.

00:06:11.000 So it doesn't...

00:06:12.000 So I always...

00:06:13.000 My tongue, which from what Owen Gray does, is he uses a lot of his tongue and my tongue doesn't really...

00:06:20.000 It doesn't have the endurance because it's so short.

00:06:23.000 Like I... All my friends, when I was a teenager, everyone went and got their tongue pierced and I was going to do it.

00:06:28.000 I was brave enough to do it.

00:06:29.000 What?

00:06:30.000 Yeah, and then the tongue guy...

00:06:31.000 Wait a minute.

00:06:32.000 All your guy friends got their tongue pierced?

00:06:34.000 It was a big thing.

00:06:35.000 Me too.

00:06:36.000 You did?

00:06:36.000 I did not.

00:06:38.000 Almost all my guy friends did.

00:06:39.000 What happened there?

00:06:41.000 I mean, I was on metal bands, so I've kind of been leaning towards that crowd.

00:06:44.000 That's weird.

00:06:45.000 Yeah.

00:06:46.000 Jamie, you kind of look like John Travolta.

00:06:47.000 Did anyone ever tell you that?

00:06:48.000 Yeah.

00:06:49.000 Did people tell him that all the time?

00:06:51.000 Not recently, but yeah.

00:06:53.000 You do have a...

00:06:53.000 Because I've never seen you.

00:06:54.000 I've heard of you, but there's really no pictures of you online.

00:06:57.000 While I was watching Owen Gray last night, I tried to incorporate you.

00:07:00.000 And I never...

00:07:01.000 But you do have a...

00:07:02.000 But I mean like an in-shape, good-looking...

00:07:05.000 Thank you.

00:07:06.000 What did Gad say?

00:07:07.000 You said you looked like Alec Baldwin?

00:07:08.000 No, it was Bill Maher.

00:07:09.000 Bill Maher said it.

00:07:10.000 Because John Travolta now looks like if you and Joe had a baby.

00:07:13.000 That's what John Travolta looks like right now.

00:07:15.000 If you just put John's face on Joe's head.

00:07:18.000 There you go.

00:07:18.000 I met John Travolta once.

00:07:19.000 You guys ever meet him?

00:07:20.000 Yeah, I met him.

00:07:21.000 Yeah?

00:07:21.000 Yeah, I met him at Fear Factor.

00:07:22.000 His wife, Kelly Preston, since passed, she was on the show.

00:07:28.000 Oh, wow.

00:07:29.000 Yeah, I did David Letterman in 2013, and it was first time on television doing anything, and it was a big deal.

00:07:37.000 For me, not only get stand-up on Letterman, but John Travolta was the other guest.

00:07:42.000 So I remember that week, my mother was just telling all her friends, she was like, I'm going to go see John Travolta on Letterman.

00:07:48.000 And I was like, also, your son is doing stand-up, but she just cared about Travolta.

00:07:53.000 She was kept picking out different dresses.

00:07:55.000 She was like, where do I wear?

00:07:58.000 I did, and my mom and dad, who were divorced, it was one of the first times, because before I had my kid, my first child, so before I had my first child, my mom and dad never talked.

00:08:08.000 They had, like, a divorce, and they just, you know, especially as I got over 18, they were just like, we don't talk anymore.

00:08:13.000 So it was one of these things where, like, it was the first time where, like, my mom and dad were going to be in the same room, and I'm, so it's, like, all nerve-wracking, and I'm About to go do the show.

00:08:23.000 I bought a suit the night before from this place, Joseph A. Bank.

00:08:26.000 It was in like a strip mall in Syosset, Long Island.

00:08:29.000 And it was like three sizes too big.

00:08:30.000 So I just had this oversized suit on.

00:08:33.000 I was like really nervous.

00:08:34.000 And I go down and John Travolta's on the couch.

00:08:38.000 You know, crushing it.

00:08:40.000 He's John Travolta.

00:08:41.000 And then I'm about to go up next to do stand-up.

00:08:44.000 And he, you know, the commercial break happens and he's walking out.

00:08:49.000 And I'm standing there like nervous with my 3X suit.

00:08:52.000 And he stops and he looks at me and he goes, you have on a beautiful suit.

00:08:55.000 I was like, thank you.

00:08:56.000 I was like, I feel like it's too big.

00:08:57.000 And he was like, no, it's beautiful.

00:08:59.000 I was like, oh, yeah. 0.99

00:09:00.000 And my mom's sitting right there fucking dying. 1.00

00:09:03.000 Travolta's like looking at me. 1.00

00:09:04.000 She's like trying to smell his breath.

00:09:05.000 And so Travolta says to me, he goes, what do you do?

00:09:09.000 What's your talent?

00:09:10.000 I'll never forget.

00:09:11.000 He goes, what's your talent?

00:09:12.000 I was like, oh, I'm a stand-up comic.

00:09:14.000 And he was like, ooh, very nice.

00:09:16.000 And then he was like, you seem a little nervous.

00:09:18.000 And I was like, yeah, yeah.

00:09:19.000 And then he puts his...

00:09:22.000 And then he puts his hand on my chest.

00:09:24.000 Like, just puts his hand right on my chest.

00:09:26.000 Like Jesus.

00:09:28.000 Right in the middle.

00:09:29.000 Right in the heart.

00:09:30.000 No, seriously, like right in the middle. 0.99

00:09:32.000 And I was in my head because I was like, you know, I got fat nipples. 0.97

00:09:34.000 So I was like, I hope he doesn't think like, you know, I'm not jacked. 0.98

00:09:37.000 And then he goes, why is your heart beating so fast? 0.95

00:09:41.000 And I was like, because you're John Travolta, you're massaging my nipple.

00:09:45.000 And he goes, don't be nervous about what you're about to do.

00:09:51.000 And he goes, you've done it already.

00:09:53.000 And I said, no, I'm actually going on after you.

00:09:56.000 I haven't done it yet.

00:09:57.000 He goes, no, you've done it already.

00:09:58.000 It's over. 1.00

00:09:59.000 And I was like, are you stupid? 1.00

00:10:01.000 No. 1.00

00:10:02.000 Are you dumb fuck? 1.00

00:10:04.000 I was like, I'm going on next. 1.00

00:10:11.000 And he was like, the work is done.

00:10:14.000 And then I was just like, what do you mean?

00:10:17.000 And then the whole time his hand is on my chest.

00:10:19.000 He goes, I'm sure that Mr. Letterman had to vet you personally.

00:10:23.000 I'm sure that you've had to practice this set a thousand times before you got to this moment.

00:10:28.000 So the work is over.

00:10:30.000 So now you just have to go be in the present.

00:10:32.000 That's your only job is to be in the present because the set that you're about to do is done.

00:10:37.000 You've completed the work already.

00:10:39.000 Now it's just living the moment, which is the fun part of the hard part of the journey.

00:10:43.000 But the hard part is over.

00:10:44.000 All these words, and my heart is like slowly going down.

00:10:49.000 Like I swear, I was getting like very, very calm.

00:10:51.000 And he goes, I'm going to stand right here and I want to watch you live this moment.

00:10:56.000 He goes, this is rare that I get to see this at the level I'm at in my career, to see someone get to begin their journey in entertainment.

00:11:04.000 He goes, I'm going to see her and I want to watch every second of this.

00:11:07.000 I'm going to be here for you.

00:11:10.000 The Letterman people are like, Chris, you're on next, and give me that little push.

00:11:13.000 David Letterman, this whole time I hadn't even listened.

00:11:15.000 David Letterman was already being like, and our next guest, you know, stand-up comic, you know, making his appearance, making his national television debut on the David Letterman show.

00:11:24.000 I didn't even hear any of that part.

00:11:25.000 I just hear, please welcome Chris DiStefano, and with that, I'm going out. 0.99

00:11:29.000 Yeah, look at how big my fucking suit is. 0.97

00:11:30.000 Hold on, play it out, play it out. 0.99

00:11:32.000 Go from the beginning.

00:11:36.000 So you had just been touched by John Travolta.

00:11:39.000 He is in that back corner.

00:11:40.000 Literally, if you look closely, I almost have a boner.

00:11:43.000 And look at how big that suit is.

00:11:45.000 Thank you.

00:11:46.000 Oh, it looks good.

00:11:46.000 Thank you.

00:11:47.000 How you guys doing?

00:11:48.000 I'm from New York.

00:11:49.000 You can tell.

00:11:50.000 I put on the New York accent. 0.99

00:11:51.000 That was dumb. 0.97

00:11:51.000 I'm going to pronounce our R's. 0.97

00:11:52.000 It's not New York.

00:11:53.000 It's New York.

00:11:54.000 Just skip the R always. 0.91

00:11:57.000 We don't need to...

00:11:57.000 I don't want to do this to you.

00:11:58.000 Yeah.

00:11:59.000 It's all good.

00:12:00.000 And it's the worst thing ever.

00:12:02.000 I know.

00:12:03.000 Anybody who wants to have a viewing party with their special, I'm like... 0.99

00:12:06.000 What the fuck is that? 0.99

00:12:07.000 I don't want to... 1.00

00:12:08.000 Explain that to me.

00:12:08.000 I've been invited to those before.

00:12:10.000 I don't ever.

00:12:10.000 I just had a Netflix special come out, Specially Weshy, on Netflix, and they were like, do you want to do a viewing party?

00:12:15.000 Congratulations.

00:12:16.000 Thank you.

00:12:16.000 And I was like, do you want to do a viewing party?

00:12:18.000 They were like, do you want to do a viewing party?

00:12:19.000 I said, absolutely not.

00:12:21.000 I said, as a matter of fact, I don't even want you to tell me what date it's being released.

00:12:24.000 I don't want to know anything about it.

00:12:26.000 I literally, I still, I won't watch it at all.

00:12:29.000 I'll watch it for myself to, you know, try to get better, but have other people make them do that.

00:12:35.000 Never in a million years.

00:12:36.000 Not in a million years.

00:12:37.000 Just like I don't want you to come to my birthday party.

00:12:38.000 Like, I don't need that at all.

00:12:40.000 You don't need to celebrate me.

00:12:41.000 Well, a birthday party is not the worst thing in the world, but there's something about a...

00:12:45.000 A birthday party is for everybody.

00:12:47.000 You know, you sing happy birthday, it takes five seconds.

00:12:50.000 But the party is for everybody.

00:12:51.000 But a special thing is like, look at me!

00:12:55.000 Come watch me!

00:12:57.000 It's me, everybody!

00:12:58.000 By the way, how did you like me?

00:13:01.000 Here I am.

00:13:02.000 It's not- I don't want to do it at all.

00:13:03.000 I don't even like watching the edits.

00:13:05.000 Like, when I have to edit a special?

00:13:06.000 Ugh! 0.99

00:13:07.000 I fucking hate it. 0.99

00:13:08.000 Well, the Netflix special, what was awesome about that experience was, is because I was going to put it on YouTube. 0.99

00:13:13.000 I was like, everybody was saying no to me.

00:13:15.000 Netflix said no.

00:13:16.000 HBO said no.

00:13:17.000 Everyone was saying no, no, no.

00:13:18.000 So I said, you know what? 1.00

00:13:19.000 Fuck this. 0.99

00:13:19.000 I'm just going to put it on YouTube, self-produce it, directed by homeless pimp Mike Lavin, who does all my podcasts. 0.99

00:13:25.000 Great guy.

00:13:25.000 And we said, we're just going to do this together.

00:13:27.000 I'm going to give it to YouTube.

00:13:29.000 I don't care.

00:13:29.000 Whatever the views are, they are.

00:13:31.000 Everyone's saying no. 1.00

00:13:31.000 Fuck everybody. 1.00

00:13:32.000 And at the end of the special, I even say, I'm not giving... 1.00

00:13:35.000 This is on YouTube.

00:13:36.000 Thank you to the fans for giving me a career here. 0.98

00:13:40.000 I'm putting this shit on YouTube. 0.79

00:13:41.000 But if Netflix wants to buy it, you know, I'll sell it to you. 0.99

00:13:44.000 And then so I just made it.

00:13:46.000 And then we were going to put it on YouTube in like three days.

00:13:48.000 And then my agent was like, let me just send this to Netflix.

00:13:51.000 And so when we sent it to Netflix, they got back to us in like 12 hours.

00:13:55.000 They're like, we'll buy this.

00:13:56.000 And then I got on a call with them and I was like, look, I know it's going to sound insane what I'm about to say.

00:14:01.000 I said, because I absolutely respect you, Netflix.

00:14:03.000 I really, really do.

00:14:05.000 I said, but I'm happy with where my career is now.

00:14:09.000 And where it's hopefully going, I said, so I will give this to you, but no notes at all.

00:14:14.000 It has to be as is. 0.99

00:14:16.000 Damn! 0.98

00:14:16.000 And I said, I know that, and I even said, I said, I know I'm not, you know, a legendary comic or anything like that just yet, and I know that I maybe don't have any power to, I get that. 0.98

00:14:25.000 I said, but I'm so comfortable with just...

00:14:27.000 Having the career that my fans are giving me with completely avoiding corporations up until now.

00:14:32.000 So I will give this to you, but you have to let me put it up, no edits, and let me keep 15 minutes of it to put on my own YouTube.

00:14:39.000 And that's it.

00:14:40.000 And they were like a little shocked.

00:14:42.000 They were like, are you...

00:14:43.000 Okay.

00:14:44.000 And then I said, very respectfully, I said, I don't think I'm bigger or better than you.

00:14:49.000 None of that's true.

00:14:49.000 I said, I have the life that I want and the career I want without you guys right now.

00:14:54.000 I said, so I'm going to continue focusing on that.

00:14:56.000 But I would love to have it on your platform, but I just want the final say in everything.

00:15:00.000 And they gave it to me.

00:15:02.000 And they put it on, and it was on the Trending Now page for a pretty long time, and I think that's because of the podcast fans and the internet fans, like, pushed it over.

00:15:11.000 It didn't make the top ten or anything, but I'm, you know, pretty proud of it.

00:15:14.000 Top ten of what?

00:15:15.000 You know how Netflix top ten, it makes it into the, Netflix does a top ten.

00:15:20.000 Oh, these are the top ten, like, most viral shows we have.

00:15:24.000 Yeah, but come, dude, they have hundreds of thousands of shows.

00:15:27.000 Yeah, I guess that's right.

00:15:28.000 I mean, you can't think like that.

00:15:29.000 I fed the bad wolf again. 1.00

00:15:30.000 Yeah, fuck that wolf. 1.00

00:15:31.000 Yeah, you can't think like that at all. 1.00

00:15:33.000 The top ten, like, why?

00:15:35.000 Why do you care?

00:15:36.000 I know.

00:15:37.000 Well, because I go through phases where sometimes I care, sometimes I don't.

00:15:41.000 Well, I was fascinated by that, because you're this good-looking guy.

00:15:44.000 You're a very good-looking guy.

00:15:45.000 Thank you. 0.98

00:15:45.000 And I pay attention to your stuff, and you've all this anxiety talk, anxiety talk, and I'm like, you know how many fucking ugly people would be so pumped to look like you? 0.98

00:15:53.000 Do you know how many people, like your successful comedy career, you know, you've got a family, you've got a lot going on, you've got all this positivity, but you have some sort of weird thing. 0.77

00:16:05.000 I think that there's a thing in me where I always feel like an impersonator.

00:16:16.000 I'm sorry, an imposter. 1.00

00:16:17.000 But I've felt that way since I've been a little kid.

00:16:19.000 Yeah, but everybody feels that way.

00:16:21.000 Yeah, so I think what happens with me, everything...

00:16:24.000 Well, hold on.

00:16:25.000 Do you want me to finish the Travolta story?

00:16:27.000 Oh, sure.

00:16:28.000 I didn't know there was more to it.

00:16:29.000 Well, the reason why there's more to it is because Travolta, I told you, he goes, he kept telling me, you know, I'm going to watch this moment and all that, and it was the most calm I ever was, still to this day, doing TV. Like, I was more calm the first time doing that five-minute Letterman set than I was doing a whole Netflix special or whatever.

00:16:47.000 I was so calm because of his words.

00:16:49.000 And then when you came backstage, was he naked?

00:16:51.000 When I came backstage, I was looking to see him, and he was gone.

00:16:54.000 And I said to my mom, I was like, Mom, where's John Travolta?

00:16:57.000 She goes, he left immediately.

00:16:58.000 As soon as you said, Hi, my name's Chris, he walked away, left, went on.

00:17:03.000 So he just did that.

00:17:05.000 For you?

00:17:06.000 For me.

00:17:06.000 Which, at first I was angry.

00:17:08.000 I was like, where's John?

00:17:09.000 And then as time went on, I was like, oh, that's the nicest thing anyone could have ever done for me.

00:17:14.000 And what I learned in that experience was, actually, I like John Travolta, and I'm...

00:17:20.000 You know, he was cool.

00:17:22.000 And also, you know, getting up to that moment, he was right because what I had forgotten is I had been practicing that Letterman set for, you know, however many months.

00:17:33.000 And then, you know, you have to get...

00:17:37.000 The bookers have to come and watch you, and they kept watching me do the set.

00:17:40.000 I'd do it 10 times, 20 times, and every time it would be good, and they wouldn't book me. 0.97

00:17:45.000 This went on for months, and then finally one night I did it, and I bombed with this same five-minute set, like a full zero from start to finish, just eating it, sweat down my back, on the top of my ass crack, like a full bomb where you're like, oh, God. 0.80

00:17:59.000 And I go get home, and I have a missed call from my manager, and I'm like, I blew Letterman. 0.56

00:18:04.000 Like, it's not going to happen.

00:18:05.000 He goes, no, they're booked you for next Tuesday.

00:18:07.000 And I was like, what?

00:18:09.000 So then I go do the show, the Travolta thing happens, and when I'm leaving, I say to the booker, I said...

00:18:15.000 I thought I wasn't going to get this because I bombed like so hard with it.

00:18:20.000 I thought you guys were like, that's it.

00:18:22.000 He goes, no, that's why we booked you because you had never been on television before.

00:18:25.000 We needed to know that you could fail gracefully and that you weren't going to bomb on national television and then implode.

00:18:32.000 So we saw how gracefully you bombed and just made fun of it.

00:18:35.000 So it was kind of one of those things, even though it's more than comedy.

00:18:40.000 It's like I've learned now like, oh, you're just going to fail.

00:18:44.000 And it's the way you fail.

00:18:46.000 But I think the reason I bring that up is because I think that only now in my life is my anxiety going down to a place that's like, I don't want to say non-existent, but it's so much lower.

00:18:57.000 So it's manageable?

00:18:59.000 It's so much more manageable.

00:19:00.000 Two things happened.

00:19:01.000 One, my anxiety, my Pandora's box of anxiety got opened on 9-11.

00:19:06.000 Because on 9-11, my mother... 0.93

00:19:10.000 Worked in the second tower that was hit.

00:19:13.000 She survived.

00:19:14.000 But at that moment, I went to an all-boy Catholic high school.

00:19:17.000 And at that moment, the teachers just came in and said, boys, the towers have went down.

00:19:24.000 We didn't even know about the planes.

00:19:26.000 He just said the towers have collapsed.

00:19:27.000 The Twin Towers have collapsed.

00:19:28.000 And we could see it out my window from where my high school was in Queens.

00:19:32.000 You could face it.

00:19:33.000 Downtown so we could see it see the smoke you know and I knew my mother worked on like the 50th floor of the of one of those towers So I just said she's dead and trying to call her phone lines busy phone lines busy Nothing is you know I can't get through to her and I just started to like hysterical cry like this emotion like it was literally like a box opened up in a part of my brain that was like all your fears out that you've been trying to suppress since you were a little kid out because I was like she's dead and So I just started like crying and I got like

00:20:03.000 so angry and this kid, Frank, started to laugh at me.

00:20:07.000 So I broke a chair right over his head, like in the middle of all this, at like 9.55 in the morning.

00:20:12.000 He was laughing at you because your mother was dead?

00:20:14.000 Well, but he didn't know.

00:20:16.000 He thought, he was like, you know, we're an all-boy Catholic high school.

00:20:19.000 He didn't know anything about, I'm just crying in history class. 1.00

00:20:22.000 So he's like, look at DiStefano, he's a fucking idiot. 1.00

00:20:25.000 You know, you would laugh at... 1.00

00:20:26.000 On September 10th, I would laugh at him if he was crying because it was like, what are you doing, you lunatic? 0.98

00:20:31.000 And nobody knew the significance of it just then. 0.96

00:20:33.000 And I hadn't said, oh, I think my mom said.

00:20:35.000 I just was thinking about it.

00:20:36.000 I was like, oh my God, like, she's dead.

00:20:39.000 And so I just got mad and I broke the chair over his head.

00:20:43.000 And you, in all-boy Catholic high school, is very, very strict.

00:20:47.000 I mean, you would get detention if you showed up, if you had a top button unbuttoned.

00:20:52.000 You know, you have to have the buttons buttoned to the top of the tie.

00:20:54.000 You would get detention for that.

00:20:55.000 So now I just put somebody in a coma.

00:20:58.000 Was he really in a coma?

00:21:00.000 He looked like he was. 0.99

00:21:01.000 I mean, that kid was on the floor, not moving, because I fucking, you know? 0.98

00:21:05.000 And to be honest, at that point, I was doing D-balls. 0.97

00:21:08.000 I was doing a little steroids, which could be contributing to the tit fat I have now.

00:21:14.000 You were doing steroids in high school?

00:21:16.000 I was 17. Yeah, I just wanted to be that, you know, we were idiots. 1.00

00:21:20.000 I'm from like deep in Brooklyn, Queens, like, you know, New York idiots. 1.00

00:21:24.000 So everybody was doing D-balls, Winstrel. 1.00

00:21:27.000 Jesus.

00:21:28.000 Yeah, like crazy. 0.83

00:21:30.000 And so I just was mad, broke the chair over his head.

00:21:33.000 And, you know, my mother is a very intellectual woman, very smart, very sophisticated. 0.97

00:21:39.000 And my father is like a criminal.

00:21:41.000 He was in and out of jail before I was born and when I was a little kid for my whole life, just in and out of prison, always, you know, guy from the Bronx, Italian guy.

00:21:50.000 Kind of one of those guys, never knew what he did for a living.

00:21:53.000 That's how I know, like growing up, when I would grow up, be like, you know, you know, I hear somebody say, you know who my father is, you know who my uncle is?

00:21:59.000 I'd be like, they're probably not anybody because I feel like I'm, have this life a little bit and I would never share that with anybody.

00:22:04.000 I don't think that's cool.

00:22:05.000 As a matter of fact, it's like sad when you have to like think about like, what is, what are my dad and his friends up to?

00:22:10.000 Did they hurt somebody?

00:22:11.000 Like what?

00:22:12.000 What's going on? 1.00

00:22:12.000 So anytime I would hear that growing up, I'd be like, you're a pussy. 1.00

00:22:14.000 You're a wannabe. 1.00

00:22:16.000 But the wannabes are the guys you gotta watch out for.

00:22:18.000 Because those are the guys...

00:22:19.000 A real Italian mafia guy would never probably hurt you unless you hurt them.

00:22:23.000 But these wannabes will try to prove something. 0.98

00:22:25.000 So... 0.99

00:22:27.000 My father was, I guess, a real guy, and the principal on Tuesday, September 11th, because again, I just hit somebody over the head with a chair, was like, you're out of here, DiStefano, get the fuck out. 0.98

00:22:40.000 And then I'm like, wow, okay. 0.98

00:22:42.000 So I go home, I get home.

00:22:44.000 And I'm trying to call my mother, trying to call my mother.

00:22:46.000 And, dude, outside, a lot—see, the thing is, like, living in 9-11, like, actually being in New York City there, it's like there was a lot of things that, like, didn't make the news.

00:22:55.000 Like, right away, like, again, all-boy Catholic high school, mostly cops and fire in my school.

00:23:01.000 Like, the immediate, like, racism that was completely displaced.

00:23:06.000 I saw, like, when we left the school, there was a grocery store, like, where everyone would get their bagels and coffees and stuff in the morning.

00:23:14.000 Indian, like, Sikh Indian, you know, turbans. 1.00

00:23:17.000 This kid threw a fucking garbage can right through their window and was, like, yelling at them, like, you fucking did this, you're gonna pay for this! 1.00

00:23:23.000 I was like, shut up, dude, this kid John. 1.00

00:23:25.000 I was like, you weigh 110 pounds, you have fucking psoriasis, shut up, what are you gonna do? 1.00

00:23:30.000 But I remember that and I was like, wow, this is crazy what's happening. 1.00

00:23:33.000 And then going home, trying to call my mother, trying to call my mother.

00:23:36.000 Can't get in touch with her, can't get in touch with her.

00:23:37.000 And then I'm just preparing.

00:23:39.000 I called my aunt, who worked in Brooklyn, and she's like, my mom has four sisters.

00:23:44.000 She's like, every one of your aunts, everybody checked in with me beside your mother.

00:23:49.000 We don't know where she is.

00:23:51.000 And I was like, oh my god.

00:23:53.000 So I get home, this is like three o'clock in the afternoon.

00:23:56.000 I get home.

00:23:57.000 I run up the stairs because all I want to do is go lay in my mom's bed and smell her scent or just something. 0.94

00:24:03.000 I was panicking and that's what I want to do.

00:24:05.000 If I can smell my mom, then she's there.

00:24:07.000 If I get the senses of her, she's here and I'll calm down.

00:24:11.000 She'll calm me down.

00:24:11.000 Even though my brain's telling you she's dead, but just smell her.

00:24:15.000 So I open my apartment door.

00:24:19.000 And she's standing there, right there.

00:24:21.000 And I was like, and I thought it was a ghost.

00:24:23.000 Like I genuinely in my brain was like, she's a ghost.

00:24:25.000 I'm having like a vision.

00:24:26.000 And I went to go hug her thinking I was going to hug through her.

00:24:30.000 And then it was her.

00:24:31.000 And I was like, and then she had blood all down her knees. 1.00

00:24:35.000 And I was like, oh my God, like what happened?

00:24:38.000 She was like, I got out of the building.

00:24:39.000 And then we walked across the Brooklyn Bridge.

00:24:41.000 And then I got on a bus.

00:24:42.000 She's like, and I fell off the bus in Brooklyn.

00:24:45.000 I was like, you escaped 9-11 and then you fall off the bus in Brooklyn?

00:24:48.000 She was like, there was a pothole there.

00:24:50.000 So she has blood.

00:24:51.000 And then right away, I turned into that kid, John.

00:24:54.000 I was like, I'm going to war for you, Mom. 0.99

00:24:57.000 You know, like that anger shit, you know, the Winstrel anger, the D-ball anger. 1.00

00:25:01.000 And so I didn't tell my mom, though, that I... Just, you know, Frank might be dead too. 0.99

00:25:06.000 I didn't say that.

00:25:07.000 And then Wednesday, all of school is closed. 0.98

00:25:10.000 So, you know, I'm just thinking about, shit, what's going to happen on Thursday if school opens? 0.98

00:25:15.000 All schools closed. 0.99

00:25:16.000 And all New York City schools were closed.

00:25:19.000 And then Thursday morning, I got a decision to make because the principal had said I was kicked out.

00:25:24.000 So I was like, you know, I'm just gonna walk.

00:25:26.000 I'm just gonna go to school.

00:25:27.000 So I go back to school and I try to walk in like nothing happened.

00:25:30.000 I was like, maybe they forgot about that.

00:25:31.000 It's a national tragedy.

00:25:33.000 And then brother Rob is right there. 0.99

00:25:34.000 He goes to Stefano, get the fuck out of here. 0.98

00:25:36.000 You're still expelled. 0.99

00:25:38.000 I was like, all right.

00:25:38.000 I mean, the country's at war now.

00:25:40.000 I mean, my mother fell off the bus in Brooklyn.

00:25:41.000 You're still gonna expel me?

00:25:42.000 And he was like, you're expelled.

00:25:44.000 I was like, how's Frank? 1.00

00:25:45.000 He was like, jerk's belt. 1.00

00:25:46.000 I was like, okay. 1.00

00:25:47.000 So I'm like, shit. 1.00

00:25:49.000 My mother's all upset, of course. 1.00

00:25:51.000 She's still shaking from 9-11, as many people were.

00:25:54.000 I'm like, I gotta call my dad.

00:25:56.000 And again, my dad, great guy, my father.

00:25:59.000 Really great guy.

00:26:00.000 But, you know, a street guy.

00:26:01.000 Like a Bronx real street guy.

00:26:04.000 So I call my father for a pay phone.

00:26:07.000 And I'm like, Dad, you know, I'm sorry.

00:26:11.000 Like, I let you down.

00:26:12.000 But, you know, on Tuesday, I was just worried about my mom.

00:26:15.000 And this kid started laughing at me.

00:26:17.000 I was crying.

00:26:17.000 And I broke a chair over this kid Frank's head.

00:26:21.000 And now they threw me out.

00:26:22.000 They threw me out of school.

00:26:23.000 And he goes, he goes, did anybody see you do it?

00:26:27.000 I was like, yeah, I did it in front of the whole class.

00:26:29.000 He was like, okay.

00:26:30.000 He was like, I'll be down there in about 30 minutes.

00:26:33.000 I was like, you live in Staten Island, you know, traffic to Queens at 9.30 in the morning would take like two hours to get there.

00:26:40.000 Somehow he shows up in like 45 minutes.

00:26:41.000 I'll never forget, wearing like a New York Yankees batting practice jacket, like a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, huge, chain on, just ready to go.

00:26:50.000 And he goes, you do everything I tell you to do.

00:26:52.000 I was like, okay.

00:26:55.000 So, you need a meeting with a principal, you know, of a school, especially any school.

00:27:00.000 But we walk into the principal's office to the secretary, and the secretary is like, can I help you?

00:27:05.000 And my dad's like, yeah, I got a meeting with the principal.

00:27:07.000 And she's like, you're not on the list, sir.

00:27:09.000 He goes, I'm going in.

00:27:10.000 And then he just opens his door.

00:27:12.000 And the principal's on the phone.

00:27:15.000 And my dad goes, can I speak to you?

00:27:16.000 Can we speak to you?

00:27:17.000 I'm Chris's dad.

00:27:18.000 And the principal's like, you need a meeting, sir.

00:27:20.000 And he goes, and your son's expelled.

00:27:22.000 And he goes, okay.

00:27:24.000 And then he hangs up the principal's phone.

00:27:26.000 He just puts his fingers on the receiver.

00:27:28.000 And he goes, you're not on the phone anymore.

00:27:30.000 So we can have a conversation.

00:27:31.000 And I was like, oh my god.

00:27:33.000 So it's all true.

00:27:35.000 So I'm just sitting there like, okay, this is bad.

00:27:38.000 So my dad goes, very calmly, my dad goes, listen.

00:27:42.000 He goes, my son allegedly hit somebody in the head with the chair.

00:27:46.000 And brother's like, it's not alleged.

00:27:48.000 We saw it.

00:27:49.000 He goes, it's allegedly.

00:27:50.000 You don't have cameras in here, do you?

00:27:51.000 And he was like, what?

00:27:53.000 He was like, no, but there's witnesses and the kid's in the hospital.

00:27:56.000 He goes, I'll take care of the kid in the hospital.

00:27:58.000 Don't worry about the kid in the hospital.

00:27:59.000 He goes, you can't throw my son out of school.

00:28:01.000 You just can't do it.

00:28:02.000 And then my brother Rob is like, we have to throw your son out of school.

00:28:06.000 He just put somebody in a coma.

00:28:08.000 And he goes, no.

00:28:09.000 He goes, listen, you're not going to throw him out of school.

00:28:11.000 It was a national tragedy.

00:28:12.000 He got emotional.

00:28:13.000 Don't worry about it.

00:28:14.000 And he goes, don't throw him out of school.

00:28:16.000 And brother Rob says, I'm throwing him out of school and there's nothing you can do.

00:28:20.000 And then my dad rolls like a wad of hundreds at brother Rob.

00:28:23.000 And he goes, don't throw him out of school.

00:28:26.000 And...

00:28:27.000 Brother Rob goes, you're going to bribe a man of God?

00:28:29.000 And my dad goes, I lost God September 21st, 1979. That's like a date that's like burned in my head.

00:28:35.000 I'm like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:28:36.000 What does that date mean? 0.99

00:28:36.000 And then look back, he was in prison at that time, so I'm like, I don't know what happened. 0.99

00:28:40.000 Maybe there was a shower situation. 1.00

00:28:42.000 Maybe something went down.

00:28:43.000 I was like, I'm not going to ask my dad.

00:28:44.000 But I was like, September 21st, 1979. Wow, like he said that shit quick and with full eye contact, no blinks. 0.99

00:28:50.000 I was like, all right, Dad, you should go to therapy, but whatever. 1.00

00:28:54.000 We're here now.

00:28:55.000 And...

00:28:56.000 And so my dad says to Brother Rob, he goes, listen, he goes, don't throw my son out of school, okay?

00:29:04.000 There has to be another way.

00:29:05.000 Let's talk like gentlemen.

00:29:07.000 There has to be another way. 1.00

00:29:08.000 And then he says to my father, he goes, sir, are you stupid or something? 1.00

00:29:11.000 He's expelled from school. 1.00

00:29:13.000 And then my dad looks at me, and he looks at Brother Rob, and he goes, Chris, did he just call me stupid? 0.98

00:29:19.000 And I was like, you know, it sounded like a dad, but, you know, he's a man of God. 0.92

00:29:23.000 I'm sorry.

00:29:24.000 I was like, no, no habla, no habla inglés.

00:29:27.000 And he goes, do me a favor, Chris, lock the door.

00:29:31.000 And I was like, what?

00:29:32.000 He goes, just lock the door.

00:29:34.000 And so I got up and locked the door.

00:29:36.000 I didn't know, like, what else to do. 0.97

00:29:37.000 I was like, I felt like I'm fucking gonna get hit here, too. 0.91

00:29:41.000 Like, I've never seen my dad, like, just angry. 0.91

00:29:43.000 So I get up, I lock the door, and he goes, you really offended me with the words you've chose to call me.

00:29:50.000 He goes, it really hurt my feelings, actually.

00:29:52.000 He goes, so now you have two options. 0.97

00:29:54.000 He goes, the second option really sucks for you. 0.98

00:29:56.000 I would choose the first. 0.96

00:29:58.000 He goes, the first option...

00:30:00.000 Just put my son back in school, okay? 0.94

00:30:02.000 Easy breezy, no problems ass, I'll sign whatever forms you want. 0.96

00:30:05.000 He goes back to school. 1.00

00:30:06.000 He goes, the second option, and again, this one sucks for you. 0.99

00:30:09.000 He goes, I'm going to come over there and I'm going to break both your kneecaps. 0.99

00:30:13.000 And he goes, you may think I heard that line in a movie.

00:30:17.000 He goes, I'm one of the guys they write the movies about.

00:30:20.000 He goes, I will, and this is funny, he goes, I will call 911 right now.

00:30:25.000 He goes, I will give them my address, my social security number, whatever. 0.99

00:30:28.000 He goes, because I'd rather go to prison for the rest of my life and be back with my friends than you throw him out and me have to listen to his mother's fucking mouth for the rest of my life that he got expelled from school. 1.00

00:30:38.000 He goes, so either way, I'm in jail. 0.99

00:30:40.000 I'd rather be with my buddies.

00:30:41.000 So the choice is yours.

00:30:43.000 And then white as a ghost.

00:30:45.000 Brother Rob is like, okay, well, let's put him back in school.

00:30:49.000 And he goes, simple, easy breezy.

00:30:51.000 He just kept saying easy breezy, my dad.

00:30:52.000 I was like, stop saying easy breezy.

00:30:54.000 So he kept saying easy breezy, and my dad, and he goes, what we'll do is, he gets detention before and after school, and he's thrown off the basketball team.

00:31:02.000 Does that work for you?

00:31:03.000 And Brother Rob was like, that works for me. 0.97

00:31:04.000 And I was like, that doesn't fucking work for me. 0.97

00:31:06.000 I want to play ball. 0.98

00:31:07.000 I don't want to go to detention.

00:31:08.000 And my dad's like, no, you hit somebody.

00:31:10.000 It's not good.

00:31:10.000 He goes, I didn't raise you to be that way.

00:31:13.000 I was like, You just threatened to fucking kill somebody in front of me. 0.99

00:31:16.000 What are you talking about? 0.99

00:31:18.000 And he goes, I didn't raise you to be that way.

00:31:20.000 And then that's what I did my senior year.

00:31:22.000 Before and after school, every day.

00:31:25.000 No basketball.

00:31:27.000 And my father and brother Rob actually became like...

00:31:31.000 Friends at graduation, they were shaking hands, friends, everything was all good.

00:31:35.000 And it was one of those things where like, my dad, he's not that way anymore.

00:31:39.000 But growing up, like my dad was just that guy.

00:31:42.000 He was like, right intention, wrong move is the best way I could describe my father.

00:31:46.000 And now that I'm a father, I want to take...

00:31:49.000 Some stuff from him, but, you know, be more of the right intention, right move.

00:31:53.000 Because my dad, he genuinely was coming from a place of love when he was like, I'm going to hurt this principal because they're hurting you, but obviously the wrong moves.

00:32:00.000 But he just grew up in a time when it's like you wanted to get something, you got violent.

00:32:05.000 I'm very not violent. 1.00

00:32:06.000 I'm like a very big pussy. 1.00

00:32:08.000 Grew up around my mother, kind of anti that. 1.00

00:32:13.000 You know, the anxiety, I think, comes from that.

00:32:16.000 The Pandora's box was, you know, my mother's a very nervous woman to begin with.

00:32:20.000 The 9-11 thing happened.

00:32:21.000 I thought she was dead.

00:32:22.000 It opened up all these emotions to, like, what?

00:32:24.000 How will I navigate life if she is dead?

00:32:26.000 And then not being as tough as my father was, like, well, how do I protect her?

00:32:30.000 How do I protect any woman in my life?

00:32:32.000 That was a thing that I started to, like, grasp with.

00:32:36.000 And it wasn't until I had children, my first daughter, who's now seven, did I start to realize the narcissism and anxiety.

00:32:42.000 And I know that might not be the same for everybody, but to me, I started attaching narcissism to anxiety.

00:32:49.000 And I used to be proud of the, hey, I'm the anxiety guy.

00:32:52.000 I look like I don't have anxiety, but I have anxiety.

00:32:54.000 But now when people bring up, oh, you have a lot of anxiety.

00:32:57.000 I almost hate that version of me.

00:32:59.000 I'm almost like, that guy was very, very weak.

00:33:02.000 And I still have a lot of work to do.

00:33:05.000 But I'm like, I can't have...

00:33:08.000 All this mental energy be eaten up by my self-serving narcissistic anxiety.

00:33:14.000 If I'm going to die, if that's going to happen, I need to be like a present good dad.

00:33:17.000 And I need to figure, I want to have questions answered for my daughters when and if they ask me to them, I want to give them my full attention.

00:33:24.000 So little by little, my anxiety's been going down.

00:33:29.000 I think it still will always be there because that Pandora's box thing was open.

00:33:34.000 Wait a minute, hold on.

00:33:35.000 So there was no anxiety prior to September 11th, and then all of it came after that, and you've never let it go?

00:33:41.000 Yeah, it got to the point where every woman that I was with, every girlfriend I ever had, if I texted them and they said, you know, and if I texted them and they didn't write back to me in 10 minutes, all that anxiety of September 11th would rush on to me, and I couldn't get out of it.

00:33:57.000 I played college basketball.

00:33:58.000 It got so bad to the point where I used to bring my phone off Out onto the bench.

00:34:04.000 Like, in my warm-ups, I would, like, if the coach subbed me out of the game, I would run, make believe I'm going to get water, and I would rummage through the warm-ups and have my phone there to make sure my girlfriend at the time texted me she was home, and if she didn't, I couldn't function.

00:34:16.000 I had a free-throw average before.

00:34:18.000 When I didn't have a girlfriend, I almost had no anxiety, but when I did have girlfriends, insane anxiety.

00:34:24.000 I'm the all-time, or second all-time leading scorer now in my college's history. 0.66

00:34:28.000 Division III, so it's like bullshit, doesn't really count, but still, it was like, I guess, something.

00:34:34.000 The years when I had a girlfriend, my free throw percentage would be like 52%. 0.91

00:34:39.000 The years when I didn't have a girlfriend, it was like 90%.

00:34:43.000 And at that point, mental health wasn't understood.

00:34:45.000 My coach used to yell at me. 1.00

00:34:47.000 Get your fucking phone off the bench. 1.00

00:34:49.000 Or they would fuck with me on the bus. 1.00

00:34:50.000 Because my teammates started to figure out like, oh shit, Chris gets really nervous about his girlfriends. 0.99

00:34:56.000 So they would text me sometimes like from these random numbers or call me like press the star six seven to like block the number and be like, hey, you know, it's your girlfriend's Maria. 0.95

00:35:05.000 They're like, hey, Maria, I just saw your girlfriend Maria.

00:35:09.000 I think she got hit by a car.

00:35:10.000 I think she's dead, man.

00:35:11.000 And like, they didn't understand at that point. 1.00

00:35:13.000 They were just like trying to fuck with me. 0.99

00:35:15.000 We're 18, 19-year-old guys. 0.99

00:35:16.000 But I was paralyzed, like on the floor.

00:35:20.000 Got suicidal at times.

00:35:22.000 Jesus Christ, dude.

00:35:23.000 I couldn't talk to anybody about it because it just wasn't understood.

00:35:26.000 So how did you work your way out of that?

00:35:29.000 I think nature did when I had my kids.

00:35:31.000 I was 29 years old.

00:35:34.000 I was 29 when I had my daughter.

00:35:37.000 But at 28, I had the anxiety that I had at 19. I couldn't get out of that.

00:35:43.000 So how'd you get into stand-up comedy then?

00:35:44.000 Because I would imagine that that would give you a high level of anxiety too.

00:35:48.000 Doing stand-up comedy is the only place still to this day where I feel almost zero anxiety.

00:35:53.000 Really?

00:35:54.000 No matter how good or bad the shows go, I almost feel zero.

00:35:57.000 No matter how bad the shows go?

00:35:59.000 Even if I'm bombing...

00:36:00.000 Dude, you have to see.

00:36:01.000 I did the Netflix Comedy Festival two weeks ago.

00:36:03.000 I did a show with Amy Schumer.

00:36:06.000 She was like Amy Schumer and Friends, and I had to go out and do a seven-minute set. 0.99

00:36:09.000 I fucking bombed like a full zero. 0.99

00:36:14.000 At the end of the set, I was like, I'm going to kill myself. 0.99

00:36:17.000 And I just walked off.

00:36:18.000 And I was like, you know what?

00:36:20.000 In the middle of it, I was like, I don't...

00:36:23.000 I just still feel like no anxiety, like I knew I was bombing, you know, I feel the sweat and all that, and I was like, this is gonna- So why are you saying that you wanted to kill yourself?

00:36:31.000 Because I think that, you know, I didn't give the people a good show, so that's what it was- That's not anxiety?

00:36:37.000 I guess it is.

00:36:38.000 I guess it is in some ways, but it's not like, for me, like, I wasn't like, my body, I'm saying the symptoms of it, my heart wasn't beating any faster.

00:36:47.000 I think you're right about it being narcissistic.

00:36:49.000 Yeah.

00:36:50.000 I think you nailed something when you said that, that there's something about anxiety that's narcissistic.

00:36:57.000 You're thinking entirely about yourself.

00:37:00.000 You're thinking entirely about your feelings.

00:37:02.000 Right.

00:37:03.000 There's a part of that, for sure, right?

00:37:05.000 Yeah, and I don't like the way that feels because it's that and I think it's mental energy.

00:37:11.000 I kind of feel like now, I have a stepchild and then two daughters, stepson and two daughters, and I'm like, I got to give them almost I only have a finite amount of energy each day now.

00:37:21.000 And I'm like, I can't spend this thinking if I'm going to have a heart attack or if I'm...

00:37:26.000 Do you meditate?

00:37:27.000 Do you do anything like that?

00:37:28.000 I was meditating a lot.

00:37:30.000 I was doing that transcendental meditation.

00:37:32.000 And then, like many things in my life, the consistency.

00:37:35.000 I stopped.

00:37:37.000 And now, like I tried to meditate today.

00:37:39.000 And I just...

00:37:40.000 Not that I couldn't do it, but I'm like...

00:37:42.000 I almost feel like I'm so jittery at times.

00:37:46.000 Like, you know, like...

00:37:48.000 About like, not jittery, angry at myself about my lack of consistency, that it takes me out of, I get angry at myself now, more than anxious about things.

00:37:57.000 I'm getting mad at myself.

00:37:58.000 This sounds like more narcissism.

00:38:01.000 Yeah, just write a list, man.

00:38:03.000 If you want to do something, like this sounds very simple, and I know it's not that simple, but do one thing, just one thing.

00:38:10.000 Okay.

00:38:10.000 Write a list of what you have to do, and then do what's on that list.

00:38:13.000 You mean like each day?

00:38:14.000 Yeah, you have to.

00:38:15.000 You write a list every day?

00:38:17.000 I don't have to, because I just do it.

00:38:19.000 But if I needed to, I'd write a list.

00:38:21.000 If I ever feel like I'm inconsistent, I'll write a list.

00:38:24.000 Okay, that's a good idea.

00:38:25.000 I know what I have to do, and I just do it.

00:38:26.000 But I used to write a list.

00:38:28.000 I used to write down, go to the gym for 90 minutes, write for two hours, do this, do that, do two sets a night, do this, do that.

00:38:39.000 Whatever I was going to do that I needed to do, go to jujitsu at 8pm. 0.95

00:38:42.000 Whatever the fuck it was that I had to do, I'd write it down and I'd do it. 0.99

00:38:45.000 And once I started just doing it automatically, and then there's that feeling of being inconsistent, of like, I don't want to do this, just fucking do it. 0.99

00:38:54.000 I have two voices in my head. 0.91

00:38:56.000 I have me, and then I have, like, The drill sergeant.

00:38:59.000 And I listen to the drill sergeant. 1.00

00:39:01.000 The drill sergeant goes, shut the fuck up and get out of bed. 1.00

00:39:04.000 And I just shut the fuck up and I get out of bed. 1.00

00:39:06.000 Go. 1.00

00:39:07.000 Go to the gym.

00:39:08.000 Go do this.

00:39:08.000 Go do that.

00:39:09.000 Don't eat that.

00:39:10.000 Eat this. 1.00

00:39:11.000 Don't be stupid. 1.00

00:39:12.000 Take your vitamins. 1.00

00:39:12.000 Drink water. 1.00

00:39:13.000 I just do it.

00:39:14.000 Just write it down.

00:39:15.000 Were you always like that?

00:39:16.000 No.

00:39:17.000 I had to build into it.

00:39:18.000 Because you think it was your martial arts training that built you into that?

00:39:21.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:39:22.000 Yeah, so in the beginning, like, it was like, I wanted to just, you know, when you're doing martial arts, you're always scared.

00:39:29.000 You're scared of getting hurt, because, you know, it's a very violent thing.

00:39:32.000 And the best way to not be scared was to be fully prepared.

00:39:36.000 And if I wasn't fully prepared, like, there was tournaments that I entered, I remember, where I wasn't training as consistently.

00:39:42.000 And I would get really nervous.

00:39:43.000 I'd feel very different. 0.99

00:39:45.000 I'd be like, fuck, this is not good. 0.99

00:39:47.000 I don't have the cardio. 0.99

00:39:49.000 My technique might not be as sharp.

00:39:51.000 I felt off.

00:39:52.000 And I did not like that at all.

00:39:54.000 I'm like, the only way to not feel that is to be prepared.

00:39:56.000 So just make sure you do everything you have to do.

00:39:58.000 And if you're injured, don't fight.

00:40:00.000 Those are the two things.

00:40:01.000 Because there's a couple times I fought injured.

00:40:03.000 I'm like, that's just not smart.

00:40:04.000 It just never feels good.

00:40:06.000 Right.

00:40:06.000 Yeah, I think the prepared thing is a huge thing.

00:40:09.000 I think I feel at times, yeah, I guess I never really equated that, where it's like the more prepared I am for something, the less anxiety or stress I have about it.

00:40:19.000 100%.

00:40:20.000 So it seems like you're on a good path.

00:40:23.000 But a lot of this stuff, the reason why I'm saying it is correct that it's connected to anxiety, you're thinking about yourself.

00:40:33.000 You're consistently thinking about yourself and your feelings.

00:40:36.000 Instead of just thinking about the world and thinking about experiences in life and just living in the moment, you're thinking consistently about your feelings and about worries and fears.

00:40:46.000 And that's the two wolves.

00:40:48.000 That is what you—so you're aware of what it is.

00:40:51.000 Yeah, and at times the change is difficult for me, but—and I don't know if this is going to—I don't want to say fix it, but help, but for a very conservative Irish Catholic mother— Listens to the government.

00:41:06.000 What the priest says is the thing we do.

00:41:08.000 What the president says is the thing we do.

00:41:10.000 Alcohol is okay because it's legal.

00:41:12.000 Weed is not okay because it's illegal.

00:41:14.000 Like, that's how I was raised for a very long time.

00:41:16.000 So for, you know, psychedelics and all those things, I'm very, very late to the game with even thinking I could do that.

00:41:22.000 Because I was always told, if you try any drug, it's going to mess with your heart.

00:41:25.000 This is how I was raised.

00:41:26.000 I wasn't raised with free-thinking parents, so to speak.

00:41:31.000 But now, I've watched...

00:41:34.000 Explained about on Netflix about psilocybin and they talked about how it can rewire you're like, you know If your brain is like a you know snow that is being skied on it has the tracks that go a certain way and then psilocybin is like the new snow I was like I think I need that at this point to be a better everything in my life tries to revolve around being a father now Have you done it?

00:41:54.000 No, I've never done any psychedelics, but I wish I had we had some right now Yeah, I would do it right now because I've never tried it.

00:41:59.000 We have any in here What's that?

00:42:02.000 We can get it here pretty quickly.

00:42:03.000 I don't know if there's anything here, but...

00:42:05.000 Do you smoke weed?

00:42:06.000 Very little.

00:42:07.000 But I'm open to it all now.

00:42:09.000 Open to it all.

00:42:10.000 Very little.

00:42:11.000 I wasn't...

00:42:11.000 Only very little because I don't even know where to get it.

00:42:14.000 I can get it.

00:42:15.000 Yeah.

00:42:15.000 What happens when you smoke weed?

00:42:18.000 I did take an edible once and then I went to a New York Islanders game and that was probably stupid because...

00:42:24.000 Well, what happened was I was with Opie from the Opie and Anthony show and Sherrod Smalls, shout out Sherrod Smalls, he gave me a...

00:42:33.000 A chocolate bar with weed, but didn't tell me the instructions that you just need to eat a half of a half of one square of it.

00:42:39.000 This is a story as old as time.

00:42:40.000 Yep.

00:42:41.000 And then I ate the entire chocolate bar, and I forgot that I even ate it.

00:42:46.000 And then we get to the Islanders game, and I forgot it was even in my system.

00:42:50.000 I genuinely forgot.

00:42:51.000 And then the first period buzzer went off at the Islanders game.

00:42:54.000 And I thought somebody threw a spear from the top of the arena and cut my body in half.

00:42:58.000 And I popped up.

00:42:59.000 I was like, I'm having a stroke!

00:43:00.000 Because my left side of my body went numb.

00:43:02.000 I was like, I'm having a stroke!

00:43:04.000 I'm having a stroke!

00:43:05.000 And Opie was like, calm down, man.

00:43:07.000 It's just the weed.

00:43:07.000 I was like, no, it's different.

00:43:09.000 I'm having a stroke.

00:43:10.000 I'm, I guess, still a licensed physical therapist.

00:43:12.000 But I was like, I know what it is.

00:43:14.000 It's a cerebrovascular accident.

00:43:16.000 I'm having a stroke.

00:43:18.000 Wow.

00:43:19.000 Yeah, and then I had to leave the arena and I walked up to the cops because again I was raised like in a very drugs are bad and I walked up to the cops and I was like I was like officer I'm having a stroke and he was like no you're not I was like I'm having a stroke and he was like did you take any type of drugs or anything like that I was like am I gonna get arrested if I say yes and he was like No,

00:43:40.000 buddy.

00:43:40.000 You're not going to get arrested.

00:43:41.000 I want to help you.

00:43:42.000 I was like, I ate an edible.

00:43:44.000 And then he goes, how much?

00:43:45.000 I said, I ate an entire chocolate bar of an edible.

00:43:47.000 He goes, have you ever done edibles before?

00:43:49.000 I said, no.

00:43:50.000 And then he goes, and you ate the whole bar?

00:43:51.000 I said, yeah.

00:43:52.000 And then him and his partner started laughing at me.

00:43:56.000 Maniacally laughing at me.

00:44:00.000 And they go, just get in a cab and get out of here.

00:44:03.000 Take a shower.

00:44:04.000 You'll be fine.

00:44:05.000 And then I was in the cab and I, at that point, lived on 91st Street.

00:44:08.000 And I got off at 61st Street.

00:44:10.000 And it was a cold winter day.

00:44:12.000 I'd taken my jacket off.

00:44:14.000 I was, like, sweating.

00:44:16.000 And...

00:44:16.000 I called my friend Mike Cannon.

00:44:18.000 Shout out Mike Cannon, who takes a lot of edibles.

00:44:20.000 And I called him and I was like, buddy, I'm having a stroke.

00:44:22.000 Like, I don't know what to do.

00:44:24.000 Like, you're like my shaman.

00:44:25.000 And he was like, you ate way too much of it, number one.

00:44:29.000 He goes, but you'll be fine.

00:44:31.000 He goes, you're resisting everything.

00:44:32.000 You just have to accept it.

00:44:34.000 Just accept that you're high and have good intentions with it.

00:44:37.000 And I promise you it's all going to change.

00:44:39.000 And then I got, I went, actually, I went to, me and my girl were split up at the time, but we'd already had our daughter, but we were co-parenting at the time.

00:44:46.000 I wasn't even living at the apartment on 91st Street, but I knocked on the door, and I was like, Jazz, I'm having a stroke.

00:44:51.000 And she was like, you're not having a stroke.

00:44:53.000 I was like, I'm having a stroke.

00:44:54.000 I need to see the baby.

00:44:55.000 Before I die now, I need to see the baby.

00:44:57.000 And she was like- Jesus Christ, dude.

00:44:59.000 And she had taken, she had kind of overcome, she had taken a lot of drugs in her life, and, you know, She knew what to do.

00:45:06.000 She was like, get, go and take a cold shower. 1.00

00:45:09.000 I'm going to give you some big glass of milk.

00:45:10.000 That's an old wives tell her not, but that's what she said. 0.62

00:45:13.000 Caffeine is what helps the most.

00:45:14.000 So she said, big glass of milk, and I wish it would have been caffeine, but so she gives it to me.

00:45:19.000 She goes, just get in the shower. 1.00

00:45:20.000 I get in the shower with my socks on.

00:45:22.000 I forgot that I even had socks on.

00:45:23.000 I got these soaking wet socks. 1.00

00:45:24.000 I was like, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:45:25.000 And then I go, I remember just being in my daughter's room. 1.00

00:45:29.000 She was asleep and just talking to all her stuffed animals and holding her stuffed animals and being like, you know, calm down, Chris, calm down.

00:45:37.000 I remember I was like, my daughter was in the bed.

00:45:39.000 I was petting her feet.

00:45:40.000 And then it just like that, it came over me.

00:45:44.000 The high went from bad to good.

00:45:45.000 And I remember just like relaxing, laughing.

00:45:49.000 Everything was all good.

00:45:51.000 And but That experience, the bad part, was so bad for me that I haven't really taken them.

00:45:59.000 I take them sometimes.

00:46:01.000 I used to, on my Patreon episodes, on my podcast, I would take them.

00:46:06.000 But they started to give me bad headaches.

00:46:08.000 Listen, first of all, edibles are very different.

00:46:11.000 When you're eating it, your body's producing a completely different chemical.

00:46:15.000 It's called 11-hydroxymetabolite.

00:46:16.000 It's like when you're eating it, it's processed by your liver.

00:46:20.000 That compound, that metabolite, is five times more psychoactive than THC. So what you're experiencing is like a full-on psychedelic.

00:46:27.000 That's why it feels like you're on acid.

00:46:29.000 It feels like you're on mushrooms or something.

00:46:31.000 There's something very wrong.

00:46:33.000 Most people think they got dosed.

00:46:35.000 They think somebody put something in there.

00:46:37.000 Because it's just different than being high.

00:46:39.000 But even being too high from smoking it, if you're not a person who gets high all the time, Your body doesn't know what the fuck to do with that experience and it can trigger all sorts of weird paranoid thoughts and freak you out and it's not necessarily always gonna be okay.

00:46:55.000 Like this whole idea like you're gonna be fine when you sober up, that's not really true because there's legitimate evidence that a certain percentage of the people have Some sort of a psychotic break or some sort of a schizophrenic break that coincides with the consumption of either edibles or a lot of smoking pot.

00:47:12.000 Like Alex Berenson, who's a reporter from the New York Times, wrote a book on it.

00:47:17.000 I think it's called Tell Your Children.

00:47:18.000 And a lot of the cannabis people pushed back on it, but not me.

00:47:22.000 And I smoke a lot of pot.

00:47:23.000 And I was like, I think he's right. 0.66

00:47:25.000 Because I know multiple people who have never been the same, who've gotten really fucking high one time and then something went off.

00:47:33.000 I don't think it's something that people should take lightly because I think most people come back from it But I think there's certain people that have schizophrenic tendencies that if they do have what you would call a breakthrough edible experience like they're eating 250 milligrams or something crazy like that Which is you know for Joey Diaz is a normal Tuesday, 0.67

00:47:55.000 but for a regular person that'll send you into the fucking dark realm of And those kind of people, oftentimes, when they have these schizophrenic breaks, they're never the same again.

00:48:06.000 I know multiple people, two people that are close to me, that are not the same after they've had severe marijuana experiences. 0.95

00:48:16.000 So should I do drugs or don't do drugs?

00:48:18.000 Do you have schizophrenia in your family?

00:48:20.000 Do you feel like you've ever had a schizophrenic moment where you're worried and paranoid and think that everybody hates you and the government's out to get you or you hear voices in your head?

00:48:30.000 No.

00:48:31.000 Do you have a therapist?

00:48:32.000 Yes.

00:48:32.000 Does a therapist think you have schizophrenic tendencies?

00:48:36.000 No, the therapist just thinks I'm gay. 0.99

00:48:38.000 Does he?

00:48:38.000 She?

00:48:39.000 Guy or girl? 0.81

00:48:40.000 Yeah.

00:48:40.000 Why did one therapist be like, I think you might be gay?

00:48:43.000 I was like, really?

00:48:44.000 And I was like, but then every gay guy I speak to and every woman's like, no, you're not gay.

00:48:48.000 You're just in touch.

00:48:48.000 Well, it's really simple.

00:48:49.000 Are you attracted to men?

00:48:51.000 I would say I fall in love with men. 0.99

00:48:53.000 I have sex with women. 1.00

00:48:54.000 That's how I describe myself. 1.00

00:48:56.000 How does that work?

00:48:57.000 Like, we can have a really good conversation. 0.99

00:48:59.000 I'm not physically attracted to you guys, but we can have a really good conversation, and then I would want to go have sex with a woman. 1.00

00:49:04.000 Hmm. 0.99

00:49:05.000 So you just...

00:49:06.000 Well, I bet it probably has to do with not being around a man when you're growing up.

00:49:12.000 Yeah.

00:49:12.000 You know, that's a...

00:49:13.000 Unfortunately, it's a problem with women, too. 1.00

00:49:16.000 Like, you know, we need balance in our lives, right?

00:49:18.000 And men that grow up without moms oftentimes are very cruel and don't understand women.

00:49:24.000 You know, and women that grow up without men in their lives oftentimes long for male companionship. 0.91

00:49:30.000 Right.

00:49:30.000 And men who grow up without men in their lives, it's the same thing.

00:49:33.000 It's like we need...

00:49:34.000 I mean, obviously these are gross generalizations and sometimes people grow up with a single parent and they're fine, but oftentimes this imbalance by only having one, you know, gender in your life that's, you know, running a show, dependent upon their own personal personalities and anxieties and all their other things.

00:49:50.000 Can set you off on a course of, like, you need something that's not addressed when you're young.

00:49:58.000 Right.

00:49:58.000 I also grew up in a neighborhood where it's like if you were into learning, or pretty much if you were into anything other than sports or cars, you were gay.

00:50:06.000 Like, that's, you know, like, I know every state capitol.

00:50:09.000 When my mother would...

00:50:10.000 Get mad at me and I'd get punished.

00:50:12.000 She would lock me in my room from the outside, which is kind of crazy now that I think back.

00:50:16.000 But she would make me just recite the state capitals or read about history or read from an encyclopedia.

00:50:21.000 And I mean, sometimes it'd be like two hours and I would, you know, like stop reading the encyclopedia because I'm like, there's no way this lady's still listening.

00:50:28.000 And then like two seconds go by and she'd be like, continue, Christopher.

00:50:32.000 And I would have to like just keep reading.

00:50:33.000 So I know all these state capitals and all these facts and it's like, You know, I got a friend, Antonio Parisi, who did like 15 years in prison for my neighborhood.

00:50:41.000 It's like, I couldn't tell him like, oh, I know that the brown signs in the neighborhood are designated for historical blocks and you can't mess with the facades because they were built by German architects. 0.98

00:50:50.000 He'd fucking be like, what are you gay? 0.99

00:50:52.000 Did you learn that from the guy you were fucking? 1.00

00:50:54.000 It's like, no, I didn't. 1.00

00:50:57.000 It is so weird how stupidity can be regional. 1.00

00:51:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:01.000 Regional stupidity. 1.00

00:51:02.000 That's good. 1.00

00:51:03.000 Good.

00:51:04.000 Yeah.

00:51:04.000 It can be.

00:51:05.000 And then if you grow up in that area, you're kind of fucked if you have curiosity because it's suppressed. 0.57

00:51:11.000 The idea that somehow or another that information and learning could be a weakness is hilarious. 1.00

00:51:17.000 It's so stupid. 0.99

00:51:19.000 It's a thing that I grew up with big time, where like, even when I first started doing comedy, because it was in the arts, they were like, of course you do comedy, because you fucking like microphone, you like long things by your lips, you know, things like that. 1.00

00:51:31.000 I was like, you're a dumb fuck. 1.00

00:51:33.000 Well, there's a lot of dumb people, man. 1.00

00:51:34.000 If you grow up with them, they can be a real fucking hindrance. 1.00

00:51:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:38.000 Especially dumb guys, because dumb guys, they're like, angrily want to enforce their own standards on you. 1.00

00:51:46.000 Yeah, I think, you know, environment, too. 1.00

00:51:52.000 Like, I'm on Staten Island now.

00:51:53.000 The interesting thing that's happening is, like, the prevalence of the Italian mafia is starting to come back a little bit.

00:51:58.000 Really?

00:51:58.000 Yeah, because there's no more cops.

00:52:00.000 Exactly.

00:52:00.000 And because of COVID, the jail is overcrowding.

00:52:03.000 They're starting to let people out.

00:52:04.000 Like, I've seen more mafia guys, like, coming home from prison. 0.99

00:52:09.000 Like, we're like, oh, you know, Vinny's fucking back. 0.98

00:52:11.000 Nails is back. 0.98

00:52:12.000 You know, like, balloons and stuff.

00:52:13.000 And just, like, full holding court...

00:52:16.000 Smoking cigars like what you would see like in the 80s, like mobsters coming back, which in a weird way kind of makes me feel safer.

00:52:24.000 Like it makes me feel a little bit like somebody was robbing cars on the block that I live on or trying to rob cars.

00:52:32.000 And a guy, I don't really know him, I guess, just got out of jail.

00:52:37.000 And, you know, there was like a group text that I just became a part of.

00:52:42.000 The numbers I didn't even know.

00:52:43.000 And one of, they were talking about as parents, like, you know, the cops don't get up here.

00:52:48.000 I live on top of a hill now.

00:52:49.000 They're like, the cops don't get up here so quickly.

00:52:52.000 And with the NYPD being like, you know, having some manpower issues, like, gonna have to police this area ourselves a little bit.

00:52:59.000 And one guy wrote back. 0.99

00:53:01.000 He was like, I just feel bad for these kids because if they break into my house or my neighbor's house, I'm going to shoot them and kill them. 1.00

00:53:07.000 And I feel no remorse. 1.00

00:53:09.000 And he was like on the group chat being like, that makes me sad.

00:53:12.000 I don't feel bad for them. 0.99

00:53:13.000 And I was like, who the fuck is this guy? 0.99

00:53:15.000 And then I asked one of my neighbors. 1.00

00:53:16.000 He's like, I think that's the guy that just got out of jail.

00:53:19.000 For 20 years, it was like some ex-mobster.

00:53:20.000 Because the Italian mafia guys, the ones that do still exist, they mostly live on Staten Island, where I live.

00:53:27.000 So you see them, you feel them a little bit.

00:53:28.000 And it's this interesting, like, safety...

00:53:31.000 Like, I don't want anyone to get hurt.

00:53:32.000 I feel like, you know, 18, 19-year-old kids stealing cars, I mean...

00:53:35.000 Yeah, you go to jail for that, but I don't want somebody to lose their life.

00:53:39.000 But I don't think these kids understand.

00:53:40.000 If they break into one of those houses around me, these guys, they all have guns.

00:53:44.000 They all have probably killed somebody before in their life.

00:53:47.000 They don't care.

00:53:49.000 And I think about that, too, as my kids.

00:53:51.000 I'm like, you know how many near-death situations I was in?

00:53:54.000 I'm sure you were in, Jamie was in when we were children, that we just somehow survived? 0.97

00:53:58.000 As a father now, sometimes I think about that where I'm like, Fuck all these near-death situations my kids may or may not be in, but then I have to tell myself again, that's bad wolf stuff. 0.96

00:54:08.000 Stay in the present. 0.99

00:54:09.000 Your kids are fine now.

00:54:10.000 They're little.

00:54:11.000 Everything's good.

00:54:11.000 Don't worry about stuff that hasn't happened yet, but I struggle with it in my head.

00:54:17.000 Yeah.

00:54:18.000 Do you have anything that you do that makes you feel better?

00:54:24.000 Is there any activity that you do that sort of calms that down?

00:54:29.000 Walking.

00:54:30.000 Walking.

00:54:31.000 So, exercise.

00:54:33.000 Yeah.

00:54:35.000 Well, interesting.

00:54:37.000 If I go extremely hard in the gym, it actually doesn't make me feel better because I'm always like, oh, you should be stronger.

00:54:43.000 Like, your squat should be better.

00:54:45.000 It's counterintuitive at times.

00:54:47.000 What about cardio?

00:54:49.000 Cardio helps.

00:54:50.000 Specifically, cardio, I like to go.

00:54:53.000 I'll go and drive.

00:54:53.000 I love history, especially American Revolutionary history.

00:54:56.000 I love the Revolutionary War and the Civil War, but...

00:55:00.000 And I really love colonial, the idea of colonial America.

00:55:03.000 I almost feel like, I know this is weird to say, but I almost feel like I live there.

00:55:07.000 Like I almost feel like my soul, it's like weirdly connected to it.

00:55:12.000 Like very strange.

00:55:14.000 Where I'm like, I feel like I had a past life.

00:55:16.000 If that exists, like I feel like I was in that part of the world.

00:55:22.000 But when I go search for history stuff and start reading about history stuff and going for walks, like there's a place in Staten Island called Fort Wadsworth, which is where the British troops first made landfall when they were going to go take over, try to take America back.

00:55:37.000 That's where they landed, so it's like so much history there, and I feel like this insane sense of calmness when I'm there.

00:55:43.000 Like, all that stuff that's like, you know, what the therapist tells you, oh, if it starts with a what-if, that's anxiety, get it out of your head.

00:55:50.000 If it's not going to matter in five months, don't give it more than five minutes.

00:55:52.000 All these things that I try to remember daily that sometimes escape my brain, I have so much clarity when I'm sitting around Colonial history sites.

00:56:01.000 There's been times where I've drove to Colonial Williamsburg, which is nine hours away from my house, just to calm down.

00:56:09.000 Calm, that's interesting that it would make you calm.

00:56:11.000 So do you have family that lived here back then?

00:56:15.000 No.

00:56:16.000 Is there anyone in your ancestry, if you could trace it back to, like, what year did your family get to America?

00:56:22.000 No, so this whole, my whole life, I thought that, you know, my name's Chris DiStefano, I thought I was an Italian guy, you know, like, mostly Italian-American.

00:56:29.000 I knew my mother was Irish, she has red hair, and I thought my dad was, you know, hardcore Italian, and then I did the Ancestry.com And I found that I'm 95% German.

00:56:39.000 So, like, almost all German.

00:56:42.000 And I was like, wow.

00:56:44.000 That's weird, too, because, first of all, when I went to Germany, I went there to Munich, to Oktoberfest, people were just talking to me in German, and I had to be like, I don't speak any German.

00:56:54.000 And then they'd say in English, you're not German?

00:56:56.000 And one guy was like, I usually know when someone's an American.

00:57:02.000 He's like, you look really German.

00:57:03.000 And I never knew.

00:57:04.000 Your dad thought he was Italian?

00:57:05.000 Yeah, he thought.

00:57:06.000 And then he was like, I don't know. 0.99

00:57:07.000 Did he get his shit done? 0.98

00:57:09.000 No, he won't do any of that stuff. 0.99

00:57:10.000 He's like, no.

00:57:11.000 And then my aunt is all about it.

00:57:13.000 And my aunt is like, my dad's sister, she's like, yeah, we're kind of...

00:57:18.000 She was like, I'm starting to piece together pieces of my father's life, my mother's life.

00:57:23.000 And it's a lot of German...

00:57:25.000 Ancestry, which is wild.

00:57:27.000 So I don't think anybody in my family is here for colonial America.

00:57:31.000 But what year did your grandparents emigrate here?

00:57:35.000 Who emigrated here?

00:57:37.000 Yeah, my mother's side came in, I think, the early 1900s.

00:57:45.000 And then my father's side, I think they came in the 40s.

00:57:48.000 So it's all third generation.

00:57:51.000 All third Yeah, nobody was here.

00:57:52.000 Yeah, nobody.

00:57:53.000 I don't have a...

00:57:54.000 But that's...

00:57:54.000 Colonial America, for some reason, it's just...

00:57:57.000 I don't know why I'm obsessed with it.

00:57:59.000 I just...

00:58:00.000 Like, those are the types...

00:58:01.000 Like, I have a tough time reading at times, but I read that book, 1776, by David McCullen.

00:58:07.000 I read it, like, three times.

00:58:08.000 I just kept reading it.

00:58:09.000 Well, it's cool.

00:58:10.000 You know, it's interesting to think about people that lived back then.

00:58:13.000 I mean, I'm obsessed with Native Americans, and I have zero Native American at me.

00:58:16.000 Nor do I have any, like, feelings that I have, like, some past...

00:58:20.000 History of Native American, you know, ancestry that I've, you know.

00:58:25.000 But who knows?

00:58:26.000 I mean, who knows what genetics carry, right?

00:58:31.000 Like, the idea that...

00:58:33.000 There's a lot of things that are in your DNA that have come from many, many, many, many, many generations ago.

00:58:41.000 Like, for instance, like, why are people afraid of snakes?

00:58:44.000 You know, or spiders. 0.97

00:58:47.000 Like, arachnophobia is a real thing, where someone will see a spider and be fucking paralyzed.

00:58:51.000 They don't know what that is, but they suspect that someone somewhere got bit by a spider Or someone saw someone get bit by a spider and died, and that memory is burned in the DNA of the parent, and then into the child,

00:59:07.000 and then perhaps into the child's child, and it just carries on.

00:59:10.000 It's just speculation, but for whatever reason, like Ophidiophobia is the snake one.

00:59:16.000 Like, why?

00:59:17.000 That's what it is?

00:59:18.000 No.

00:59:18.000 Yeah, arachnophobia is arachnids.

00:59:20.000 I think aphidiophobia is a snake one.

00:59:22.000 But they don't know why, because it's crippling.

00:59:24.000 Like, you might not be afraid of dogs, which are real.

00:59:27.000 They could bite you. 1.00

00:59:28.000 A dog's fucking dangerous. 1.00

00:59:29.000 You might not be afraid of, you know, other things that are actually dangerous. 1.00

00:59:33.000 But you're afraid of a snake, or you're afraid of a spider to the point where you lock up, like, paralyzed by anxiety, and they don't know why.

00:59:41.000 Huh.

00:59:41.000 Yeah, I don't have any fear of that.

00:59:43.000 That's interesting.

00:59:44.000 I'm scared of the dark.

00:59:45.000 Well, everybody should be scared of the dark, because the dark is, if you follow primate history, all of our ancestors, you go way, way back, they're all eaten by cats.

00:59:56.000 You know, cats operate nocturnally.

00:59:59.000 Our eyes suck at night, and that's why we had to hide at night.

01:00:02.000 You know, and that's probably one of the main reasons why people develop shelters, to avoid predators.

01:00:07.000 Predators, yeah.

01:00:08.000 That's another thing, too, if you talk to a small child.

01:00:11.000 What are children afraid of?

01:00:12.000 They're not afraid of child molesters. 1.00

01:00:14.000 They're not afraid of fucking car accidents. 1.00

01:00:15.000 They're afraid of monsters. 1.00

01:00:17.000 Why is a little kid afraid of things with big teeth?

01:00:19.000 It's weird.

01:00:20.000 It's because there's an ingrained fear of cats.

01:00:23.000 Interesting.

01:00:24.000 Yeah.

01:00:24.000 I don't have cats in the house.

01:00:26.000 I feel like I'm allergic to them.

01:00:27.000 Well, you probably are, but not regular cats, house cats.

01:00:30.000 I'm talking about big cats, like jaguars and leopards and stuff.

01:00:34.000 They were eating people from the beginning of time.

01:00:36.000 I hired an MMA trainer, really, to train my daughter, because she's just turned seven, but I just want her to like it.

01:00:44.000 She's going to start a school. 0.98

01:00:45.000 I just want her to...

01:00:46.000 You know, be able to defend herself. 0.99

01:00:48.000 And the guy started training with me a little bit.

01:00:52.000 And he was like, I was like, what can I do?

01:00:55.000 Like, what do you do to like get over like a fear?

01:00:58.000 He was like, sometimes before a fight, I'll go run, I'll go jogging through the woods at night.

01:01:04.000 Just because I'm like, if I can overcome that, a man in the pure daylight is not going to scare me.

01:01:10.000 That's not true at all, though.

01:01:11.000 Well, I said I couldn't even walk in.

01:01:14.000 Sometimes when I'm driving at night by myself, I think that there's somebody in the trunk.

01:01:18.000 Yeah.

01:01:18.000 I started fighting when I was 15 and I'm really lucky I did.

01:01:22.000 I'm really lucky because I was dumb back then and my brain wasn't fully formed and I wasn't smart enough to realize how dangerous it was.

01:01:29.000 So I engaged in it when I was very young and I got used to these violent encounters on a regular basis because I was competing and fighting in tournaments all the time and that helped me so much.

01:01:39.000 It helped me so much.

01:01:41.000 Because regular scary is not as scary as fight scary. 0.98

01:01:44.000 Fight scary was like, it's coming up Saturday, tournament's on Saturday, here it is Tuesday, I'm fucking shitting my pants, I'm stretching, I'm warming up, I'm worried, am I gonna wake up on Saturday lying flat on my back with a fucking broken jaw? 0.97

01:01:57.000 Is that gonna happen? 0.98

01:01:57.000 I've seen it happen. 0.98

01:01:58.000 Maybe that's me.

01:01:59.000 Maybe Saturday's my day. 1.00

01:02:01.000 You know and then I'd find out who's in the division like oh fucking that guy's in the division shit, right? 0.98

01:02:05.000 You know and I'd freak out and that is so much more scary than most stuff that you encounter in day-to-day life that I got a Level of fear when I've when I stopped fighting when I was 21 One of the things are 21 or 22. I forgot when my last fights were they were in that range I think was before right before I turned 22 when I stopped fighting immediately I felt relaxed. 0.98

01:02:28.000 Like, immediately.

01:02:29.000 And then it was like, within a year, it subsided.

01:02:32.000 And then, luckily, I hurt my knee.

01:02:35.000 Because when I was bombing in stand-up, I was thinking about fighting again. 0.99

01:02:39.000 I was like, fuck this. 0.99

01:02:40.000 Like, I hated the fact that I needed someone else's approval. 0.99

01:02:45.000 Because the beautiful thing about fighting is, It didn't matter if someone didn't like me.

01:02:49.000 It didn't matter if people booed me.

01:02:51.000 It didn't matter because I knew how good I was.

01:02:53.000 I knew when I get out there, I'm going to put it on that dude.

01:02:57.000 No one's going to save him.

01:02:58.000 So in my mind, it was like, fine, hate me. 0.99

01:03:01.000 I don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:03:02.000 But then stand-up was the total opposite. 0.99

01:03:04.000 Everybody had to like you.

01:03:05.000 And I'm like, oh my god, my social skills suck because I didn't develop them.

01:03:09.000 From 15 to 21, I was just doing this weird, crazy thing, and I wasn't really engaging in most Like party type activities and I kind of liked it that I was this weirdo outcast who's doing this like dangerous thing So I was in high school and most kids are doing these things.

01:03:27.000 I was traveling around the country. 0.97

01:03:28.000 Yeah, like competing in tournaments So when I started doing stand-up there was a part of me that was like fuck this and I'll prop I don't know man. 0.96

01:03:35.000 Maybe if I didn't hurt my knee I might have fought again, but I fucked my knee up and I had to get an ACL reconstruction And that's like a whole year. 0.98

01:03:43.000 Like that takes a long ass time. 0.94

01:03:45.000 And I didn't have the money for it yet.

01:03:47.000 I didn't have insurance, so I had to get insurance.

01:03:49.000 And then I had to get it later.

01:03:50.000 And I had to get, it's like a patella tendon graft.

01:03:53.000 It's a big deal.

01:03:54.000 They take a piece of your patella tendon, they pull it out along with a chunk of bone from your patella.

01:04:00.000 And you've ever done it?

01:04:01.000 Well, no, I was a physical therapist, so I worked with patients that had...

01:04:05.000 Took a long ass time.

01:04:06.000 I've had both my knees reconstructed, but my left knee took way longer to get fixed. 0.67

01:04:10.000 Yeah.

01:04:11.000 So, there was no question I wasn't fighting then.

01:04:14.000 And then I got better at comedy and then I got over it. 0.96

01:04:16.000 But that fucking, those moments of like fear and anxiety that you have, like when you're just starting to do stand-up, it's like a different kind of fear and anxiety. 0.97

01:04:30.000 Yeah, because I think one's subjective, one's objective. 0.99

01:04:32.000 Like, you're in the ring.

01:04:33.000 Either you win or you lose.

01:04:34.000 But the comedy, it's like, you know, you can do the same set at the 8 o'clock show and then bomb with the 10 o'clock show.

01:04:39.000 There's this unpredictability.

01:04:40.000 It's also as a judgment on you.

01:04:42.000 It's a different thing.

01:04:43.000 It's a judgment on you.

01:04:44.000 You as a whole.

01:04:46.000 Not like you and your physical skills.

01:04:48.000 You know, just you as a whole.

01:04:50.000 Do you absolutely love stand-up comedy?

01:04:52.000 Yeah, I love it.

01:04:53.000 It's a part of you.

01:04:54.000 Like, you knew the history of it.

01:04:57.000 You watched it when you were a kid.

01:04:58.000 Oh, yeah.

01:04:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:05:00.000 I mean, I did it this week in Detroit. 0.99

01:05:03.000 God damn, it was fun. 0.99

01:05:05.000 Shout out to Detroit. 1.00

01:05:06.000 Shout out to Detroit.

01:05:06.000 You know what's great about Detroit?

01:05:08.000 Detroit is like a city without any pretense. 1.00

01:05:11.000 You know, it's kind of a fucked up city. 1.00

01:05:12.000 It is, yeah. 1.00

01:05:13.000 They got fucked by the auto industry, pulled out, destroyed the economy. 0.95

01:05:17.000 If you go back to the 1950s and you see videos of Detroit, see if you can find some videos of Detroit in the 1950s and 60s. 0.97

01:05:24.000 It was one of the wealthiest cities in the country.

01:05:28.000 It was an incredible city.

01:05:29.000 And it was a city that was powered by American automobiles.

01:05:34.000 That made the city, man.

01:05:36.000 Everybody was there.

01:05:36.000 Chrysler was there.

01:05:37.000 Ford was there.

01:05:38.000 They were all there. 0.88

01:05:39.000 Yeah, so Detroit back then was fucking booming and then in the 80s I guess I'm not sure the timeline whatever they pulled out That's around that Roger and me movie right if you see that no I haven't I heard of it I still to this day think it's Michael Moore's best work I think that's his best work because it was real innocent It was like him really just a young unknown filmmaker who is trying to find out what the fuck happened and see if people couldn't comprehend The damage they've 0.63

01:06:09.000 done to the city, like how devastating it is to people that have no way to get out. 0.53

01:06:13.000 Yeah, and there's good comedy there, too.

01:06:16.000 I mean, I did that Royal Oak Theatre, and the people are just so happy. 0.99

01:06:20.000 But when you got, like, a fucking economically fucked city, those people are the ones who need the laughs more than anybody. 0.96

01:06:27.000 I mean, if you ever look at old pictures of, like, Iran, like, Tehran, Iran, like, in the 50s, 60s, it was, like, booming and beautiful, and there was not, like, nobody had to wear any headdresses, like, it was a beautiful, vibrant place. 0.98

01:06:39.000 It's only, like, you know, a lot, everything goes through, like, you know, like you said, like a history, like, you know, like, Detroit, it does feel like it's coming back a little bit now, you know?

01:06:48.000 It's coming back a little.

01:06:48.000 They feel like it, too.

01:06:49.000 Yeah.

01:06:50.000 There's, like, a Detroit pride.

01:06:52.000 Yes.

01:06:52.000 You know, like, do you know Shinola?

01:06:54.000 Do you know the company Shinola?

01:06:55.000 They make really good watches and leather goods and like really good handmade stuff that's like solid quality and they're like proudly made in Detroit and all their stuff.

01:07:04.000 Yeah, I went to that Jack White store, that album store they have.

01:07:09.000 I think it was by the Shinola place and I went and saw that, like the White Stripes and all.

01:07:14.000 Because I, again, music, like I didn't, like the only music I ever listened to was like Rap and Whitney Houston.

01:07:19.000 I just knew Whitney Houston.

01:07:21.000 My father was big Whitney Houston fan.

01:07:22.000 Rap and Whitney Houston is a hilarious conversation.

01:07:25.000 Your therapist might be right.

01:07:27.000 Yeah, that's what it is.

01:07:30.000 It's true.

01:07:31.000 Listen, I love Whitney Houston. 0.96

01:07:33.000 Whitney Houston's voice was insanity. 0.97

01:07:35.000 She's so talented.

01:07:36.000 She's so talented.

01:07:37.000 She was the best singer, I think, of all time.

01:07:39.000 But even when I see people, and hey, whatever people want to do, when I see people lining up outside to get something or get in a concert, I never ever in my life wanted to do that.

01:07:52.000 Wait in line for a concert?

01:07:54.000 Yeah, like get there early for sneakers or get to SNL the night before.

01:07:58.000 I never had an ambition to camp out for anything ever in my life.

01:08:04.000 Okay, let me ask you this.

01:08:05.000 What if they figured out a way to bring someone back to life?

01:08:08.000 What if they could bring James Brown back to life?

01:08:12.000 James Brown from 1969. You can go see him live.

01:08:16.000 Honestly, if they brought Whitney Houston back to life, I wouldn't wait in line for the concert.

01:08:20.000 You wouldn't wait in line.

01:08:21.000 I would try to get tickets on StubHub.

01:08:22.000 What if it was a time machine and it could put you in like a little hamster bubble, you know, in them little hamster wheel things?

01:08:28.000 Okay.

01:08:28.000 And it could put you, it was sort of like, you wouldn't affect anything, but you could be there for like Muhammad Ali versus George Foreman in Africa.

01:08:40.000 Honestly, I think I'd rather go back in time and just watch Benjamin Franklin fly a kite.

01:08:46.000 Oh, yeah.

01:08:47.000 Do you think that really happened?

01:08:48.000 No.

01:08:49.000 I don't think...

01:08:49.000 I think...

01:08:50.000 I would do that for sure.

01:08:51.000 Like, if I could go back, really back far...

01:08:54.000 Yeah.

01:08:54.000 How far would you go back?

01:08:56.000 Like, if you only do it once.

01:08:57.000 If I could only, literally, the only time I could do it is one time.

01:09:01.000 And you know a lot about history.

01:09:02.000 You used to be one of the co-hosts of History Hyenas.

01:09:05.000 Shout out.

01:09:05.000 Yeah, History Hyenas.

01:09:06.000 Great show.

01:09:07.000 Very good show.

01:09:07.000 Very good.

01:09:08.000 And Giannis is awesome.

01:09:09.000 By the way, Giannis has a new special out right now, too. 0.82

01:09:11.000 It's really fucking funny. 0.97

01:09:12.000 Yeah. 0.92

01:09:13.000 And it's on YouTube.

01:09:14.000 What is it called?

01:09:15.000 Giannis, is something mom?

01:09:18.000 Something?

01:09:18.000 Oh, Mom Love.

01:09:20.000 Mom Love.

01:09:20.000 Yeah.

01:09:20.000 Yes.

01:09:21.000 Yeah.

01:09:21.000 Giannis one of the best stand-ups I ever was around.

01:09:24.000 He's fucking awesome. 0.99

01:09:24.000 Truthfully. 0.99

01:09:24.000 And super, super funny guy. 0.99

01:09:25.000 And super, super smart guy, rather.

01:09:27.000 Yeah.

01:09:27.000 So, you know a lot about history.

01:09:29.000 So, if you wanted to go back to a particular point in history, if you could only go and watch it once, and maybe you could be there for 24 hours in this hamster bubble, where you just stay in this one thing, you can't go anywhere, you don't interact with people, but you get to experience what life was like.

01:09:45.000 See, I think there's, you know, a lot of people I know might want to go see the pyramids.

01:09:50.000 They might want to go into that time.

01:09:52.000 And I think that time is fascinating, truthfully.

01:09:55.000 But I think for me, I genuinely would want to go back, just because I feel such a connection to it, to specifically the Battle of Brooklyn in August of 1776. Because I would, number one,

01:10:10.000 want to see, like, I think about, like, I want to know when I go to another city, I don't ever really go to the tourist attractions.

01:10:18.000 I do just to do it.

01:10:19.000 But I want to go see how people like me live in other cities.

01:10:23.000 That's what I'm fascinated, too, about history.

01:10:24.000 How did, I know how George Washington lived.

01:10:26.000 That was well documented.

01:10:27.000 But how did, you know, the gay anxiety girl dad live in 1776?

01:10:32.000 How did I... You know, what did I do back then?

01:10:35.000 Would I have been a soldier?

01:10:36.000 So I would like to go to the Battle of Brooklyn, where I lived, where it happened in Bay Ridge, all those shops and stores I know now, see it completely just in the forest or whatever it looked like in 1776, and see what really happened in these battles.

01:10:49.000 Because, you know, the winners write the history books, but see what actually really, really happened.

01:10:56.000 Because I think that, to me, watching, you know, on that battle, because there's a story in that battle, the Battle of Brooklyn, where they say, George Washington, we were going to lose the war right in the first month, but then a fog came in and kind of blanketed the narrows,

01:11:12.000 it's called, like the Hudson River, and George Washington was able to get all the troops, like 80% of the Continental Army we had, back across the water and into New Jersey, or else we would have completely lost and be speaking British right now, potentially.

01:11:27.000 I know.

01:11:30.000 It's a different language.

01:11:32.000 They spelled tires wrong.

01:11:33.000 And governor wrong.

01:11:35.000 Do they really?

01:11:35.000 They put a U in there?

01:11:36.000 They put a dumb U in there. 0.99

01:11:39.000 The tires is always weird to me. 0.98

01:11:41.000 We made it.

01:11:43.000 First of all, we invented the tire, didn't we?

01:11:45.000 I think so, yeah.

01:11:46.000 Probably in Detroit.

01:11:47.000 I would like to claim America as being an inventor of the tire.

01:11:52.000 Was Henry Ford the actual inventor of the automobile?

01:11:56.000 I have no idea.

01:11:57.000 No, right?

01:11:58.000 The process.

01:12:00.000 The process of construction?

01:12:03.000 Yeah.

01:12:03.000 Interesting.

01:12:04.000 Oh, like production.

01:12:05.000 Like a production process.

01:12:06.000 Yeah.

01:12:07.000 Interesting.

01:12:07.000 Yeah, I just wish...

01:12:10.000 Who invented the tire?

01:12:12.000 In 1846, Robert William Thompson, a 23-year-old engineer and Scottish entrepreneur, filed a patent in France for a wheel called a leather filled with air.

01:12:23.000 Wow.

01:12:24.000 This was the very first tire. 0.99

01:12:25.000 No shit. 0.99

01:12:26.000 He figured out a leather tube filled with air? 1.00

01:12:29.000 What a fucking genius idea, because everybody uses the tire. 0.99

01:12:33.000 Right. 0.98

01:12:33.000 You know, who would have ever thought, like, well, you know, it's hard because we need something that's durable, but we also need something that's got some cushion to it. 0.98

01:12:42.000 Oh, how about make it hard on the outside and put air on the inside? 0.98

01:12:44.000 It's the lightest shit ever. 1.00

01:12:45.000 Yeah, because you would think, you know, they made the wheel, they've had the wheel for thousands of years, like, just put leather on it, fucking dummy. 0.99

01:12:51.000 Leather tube, but filled with air. 0.99

01:12:53.000 That's a genius move.

01:12:54.000 Genius, genius move.

01:12:56.000 That's, because give it a little cushion.

01:12:59.000 Can you change tires?

01:13:00.000 Are you comfortable with cars?

01:13:01.000 Yeah, I can change tires.

01:13:03.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:13:03.000 I fucking got to learn how to do that, too. 0.98

01:13:05.000 Well, I worked at a gas station for a little while, and I had a bunch of friends who were gearheads, and I learned from them. 0.99

01:13:11.000 And I had a really good...

01:13:12.000 In high school, we had a really good auto shop.

01:13:16.000 And the guy who...

01:13:17.000 I wish I could remember his name.

01:13:18.000 He was this cool old dude who only liked Mustangs.

01:13:21.000 Nice.

01:13:21.000 I'm sure one of my friends will text me afterwards.

01:13:25.000 I still have some friends from back then.

01:13:27.000 They'll remember this guy.

01:13:27.000 Because he was a legendary auto shop teacher.

01:13:30.000 And he had old Mustangs.

01:13:31.000 And he'd make you work on them.

01:13:32.000 And they were all like Bondo boxes. 1.00

01:13:34.000 They were all complete shit boxes. 0.99

01:13:35.000 But he would buy, like, the shittiest 1965 Mustang. 1.00

01:13:39.000 And he would redo it.

01:13:41.000 And he was always driving it to work. 1.00

01:13:42.000 And the fucking guy only loved Mustangs. 1.00

01:13:44.000 He loved old Mustangs. 1.00

01:13:46.000 And he would just work on them, and you would, like, appreciate it from him.

01:13:51.000 Yeah.

01:13:52.000 Because you were hanging out with him.

01:13:53.000 Yeah, see, it's a beautiful, like, circumstance environment thing.

01:13:55.000 My guy like that was this guy named Scotty Karate, who lived in the neighborhood, and he was just a lunatic, old-school, alcoholic guy that you would give him a dollar, and he would do any trick you wanted.

01:14:05.000 He would back...

01:14:06.000 He would backflip into glass.

01:14:08.000 Everybody had guys like that, right? 1.00

01:14:10.000 Yeah, he would jump off a fucking awning. 0.99

01:14:11.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:14:12.000 And he's still alive.

01:14:13.000 That guy's still alive.

01:14:14.000 He never got COVID, never got monkeypox.

01:14:16.000 He's just alive in a nursing home in a wheelchair.

01:14:18.000 I got a video sent to him the other day.

01:14:21.000 Shout out Scotty Karate. 0.78

01:14:22.000 Wow.

01:14:23.000 But, you know, so I was around cars, like, a lot when I was younger.

01:14:27.000 Right.

01:14:28.000 It's better to hire somebody who actually knows what they're doing.

01:14:31.000 I know.

01:14:31.000 They're doing a tire now that doesn't have air.

01:14:34.000 It's really interesting.

01:14:35.000 It's a tire that the outside of it looks like a regular tire, but then the sidewall of it, it's like honeycombed.

01:14:42.000 It's like some kind of a material that compresses and comes back.

01:14:47.000 So instead of it being air, so it can never get punctured before it runs out of air.

01:14:51.000 See how it looks like that?

01:14:52.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:14:53.000 Yeah.

01:14:53.000 So those things compress, and it essentially has the same effect as the tire with air in it, but you can see right through it to the other side.

01:15:00.000 Look at what it looks like in the profile.

01:15:02.000 It's weird.

01:15:03.000 Well, like, it's weird that we're kind of living through the point now where it's like, even stuff from the 90s, which is, whatever, 20, 30 years ago, looks really old.

01:15:11.000 So, like, 30 years from now, like...

01:15:14.000 That makes so much more sense.

01:15:16.000 That's a way better thing.

01:15:17.000 It's a way better thing.

01:15:18.000 I don't know anything about cars or tires or anything, and even I'm like, that's a better idea.

01:15:21.000 The only thing that I don't know about is whether or not it could match it in terms of performance.

01:15:27.000 Because there's a thing about pliability.

01:15:30.000 That actually looks fucking amazing. 0.70

01:15:33.000 Let's find out how good they are. 0.95

01:15:35.000 There's a thing about pliability.

01:15:38.000 That's why they have low-profile tires, right?

01:15:40.000 Low-profile tires exist so you have the minimum amount of give.

01:15:44.000 So on a racetrack...

01:15:46.000 Okay.

01:15:46.000 You know, you want a low profile tire and you want like a stiff suspension.

01:15:51.000 You're going around this smoother.

01:15:52.000 You don't want a big ass like 1970 Buick tire. 1.00

01:15:57.000 No. 0.99

01:15:57.000 It's too much tire. 0.99

01:15:58.000 Right.

01:15:58.000 There's too much give this way and that way.

01:16:00.000 Right.

01:16:00.000 So the question would be, can they get that to the same optimal range that they can with air?

01:16:06.000 Right.

01:16:06.000 If they can do that, then that's way better.

01:16:09.000 I started watching that F1 Drive to Survive on Netflix, and I was just like, race car driving, I want to do that.

01:16:14.000 And then I realized you have to be 160 pounds max to get into that car.

01:16:19.000 Have you ever gone into a race car like that?

01:16:20.000 No, but I would imagine it'd be like a jockey, that it would be beneficial to be light.

01:16:24.000 Yeah, I was like that thing.

01:16:27.000 I didn't realize how fast.

01:16:29.000 Have you ever been to one of those races?

01:16:31.000 You've been to them.

01:16:32.000 Went to the Formula One out here in Austin.

01:16:34.000 There's a racetrack, Coda.

01:16:35.000 We went and watched.

01:16:36.000 It's crazy.

01:16:37.000 And it's like they go so fast you can't even see them, right?

01:16:40.000 Wow.

01:16:41.000 It's wild.

01:16:41.000 But they can't put tires like that that we just saw on those cars.

01:16:44.000 I don't know.

01:16:45.000 Maybe they can.

01:16:46.000 Maybe they'll be better. 0.99

01:16:47.000 I mean, who the fuck knows? 0.97

01:16:48.000 But it seems like just the fact that you can never get a flat from a puncture, just like a simple run out of air thing, that seems crazy that we're still reliant on not running out of air. 0.98

01:17:00.000 Well, do you have run flats?

01:17:01.000 You know about run flats, right?

01:17:02.000 What's a run?

01:17:03.000 No.

01:17:03.000 Run flats is a standard production tire that you can drive up to 55 miles an hour.

01:17:07.000 So you can take a drive on it.

01:17:10.000 Here's an FAQ on it.

01:17:12.000 Hold on, because you're in the middle of one thing.

01:17:14.000 So the run flats are currently available right now.

01:17:17.000 So you can get a run flat from a lot of automobile manufacturers.

01:17:20.000 They offer it as an option when you buy a car.

01:17:22.000 Okay.

01:17:23.000 And it allows you to, even if you get a flat tire, you could drive to safety.

01:17:28.000 So if you're on the highway and you get a tire in a regular car, a regular tire gets flat, you can't drive it.

01:17:34.000 It starts boom, [...

01:17:35.000 It starts making a lot of noise.

01:17:37.000 These are much more rigid.

01:17:38.000 So it's some middle ground area.

01:17:40.000 So even though it's flat, it's designed to have a certain amount of rigidity to it, a certain amount of give to it, and you can drive it for a long time.

01:17:49.000 But those cars generally don't perform as well.

01:17:52.000 And that's what I was getting to when I'm talking about the give of tires.

01:17:56.000 Those don't perform as well as the tires with air in them.

01:17:59.000 Right.

01:18:00.000 Yeah, I just...

01:18:01.000 I think like on racetracks, I mean.

01:18:04.000 Right.

01:18:04.000 No, but listen, that's the thing.

01:18:05.000 It's like it's all that tire stuff sounds amazing to me and interesting.

01:18:10.000 But again, I just don't like...

01:18:12.000 I just get in the car.

01:18:13.000 I just get in the Toyota and drive it.

01:18:15.000 I don't know.

01:18:15.000 I wish I knew more about this.

01:18:17.000 Yeah, but this is how you know more.

01:18:18.000 You just look it up.

01:18:19.000 So, Jamie, pull that article that you had up.

01:18:21.000 It doesn't say much more than what you just said, actually.

01:18:24.000 Is it?

01:18:24.000 Oh, the same thing about the performance?

01:18:26.000 It was just saying it's comparable to a run flat tire.

01:18:28.000 Right.

01:18:29.000 For performance.

01:18:30.000 But run flat tires, I'm not incorrect about that, right?

01:18:33.000 They're not as good.

01:18:34.000 Oh, I don't know.

01:18:34.000 In terms of, like, they're fine for regular, everyday driving.

01:18:37.000 It's probably preferred, actually.

01:18:38.000 It makes sense.

01:18:39.000 Right.

01:18:40.000 Be on something that doesn't, you know.

01:18:42.000 But I think...

01:18:43.000 You know, it's like dorks get into, like, and I'm a dork, I'm saying to me, guys like me that get into cars, like, oh, the new one goes zero to 60 in three seconds. 0.81

01:18:51.000 Like, what are you doing? 0.96

01:18:51.000 Are you racing? 0.96

01:18:52.000 Yeah.

01:18:53.000 Like, why?

01:18:54.000 That's not going to matter.

01:18:55.000 There's no reason for that. 0.88

01:18:55.000 For the most part, like, what a run-flat tire, the benefit of it, to me, seems fucking huge. 0.88

01:19:01.000 Right. 0.95

01:19:01.000 You don't have to, like, stop on a highway and be fucking in danger or drive on a rim. 0.95

01:19:07.000 Dude, I mean, I feel like that's how people, like, that's how people get hit by cars. 0.94

01:19:11.000 They're changing a tire.

01:19:12.000 100%.

01:19:12.000 Happened to a kid of mine I went to high school with.

01:19:14.000 Died.

01:19:15.000 He died because he was changing the tire and he got hit by a car?

01:19:17.000 Changing his tire and he got hit by a car.

01:19:19.000 And at that point, nobody was even texting and driving back then. 0.98

01:19:21.000 Yeah, this was in the fucking early 90s, I believe he died. 0.90

01:19:26.000 I remember I got a... 0.95

01:19:27.000 I don't even know if I got a text message.

01:19:29.000 I might have actually got a phone call.

01:19:30.000 Probably got a phone call.

01:19:31.000 You got a letter.

01:19:32.000 Yeah, but it was when someone from your high school dies like that, you're like, oh, God, he died that way?

01:19:36.000 I think of him smiling in the hallway.

01:19:39.000 I know a kid in my high school who used to sleep over my house all the time.

01:19:43.000 I remember one time he slept over my house.

01:19:46.000 He was a great basketball player.

01:19:47.000 He was like one of those kids.

01:19:48.000 He was like 5'5", but he could like reverse dunk.

01:19:50.000 Unbelievable b-ball player.

01:19:52.000 Yeah, he was a great, great, great player, this kid.

01:19:54.000 And...

01:19:55.000 Remember one time we woke up in the middle of the night, you know, sleeping in my room or whatever.

01:19:59.000 I was sleeping on the floor.

01:20:00.000 He was sleeping in the bed.

01:20:01.000 And he was in the middle of our hallway where my mom even woke up.

01:20:05.000 She was like, honey, are you okay?

01:20:06.000 To my friend.

01:20:07.000 And he was like, I just see these little green men. 0.64

01:20:09.000 It's like crazy.

01:20:10.000 I see them everywhere.

01:20:11.000 It's like wild in this house.

01:20:12.000 And she was like, okay.

01:20:14.000 And like we never thought anything of it.

01:20:15.000 It was late 90s, whatever.

01:20:17.000 Like, oh, a guy sees green men.

01:20:19.000 Well, whatever.

01:20:19.000 Made fun of him about it.

01:20:20.000 We were joking about it.

01:20:21.000 Whatever.

01:20:22.000 Fast forward 10 years later, we lose touch a little bit.

01:20:25.000 He went to the Queen Center Mall, went up to the fifth floor, jumped off right in the middle, in the middle of a Saturday, just landed on like the Cinnabon cart, dead.

01:20:34.000 And when I was reading the news, I got the chills because when I was, of course, to see, unfortunately, that a friend commits suicide, but when I was reading the newspaper article about it, that's how I found out.

01:20:44.000 It was in the New York Post.

01:20:45.000 They go, you know, witness said, you know, this man, you know, whatever, 27 years old, jumped, leaped off the, um, Fifth floor of the Queen Center Mall and he was saying that there's little green men all over him and he just needs to get them off.

01:20:56.000 And I was like, yo, that kid had schizophrenia or a major mental health issue when we were teenagers.

01:21:02.000 And I didn't even know.

01:21:04.000 I didn't even think about that little green men moment until I read that article.

01:21:09.000 But I was like, whoa.

01:21:10.000 Dude, I had a conversation with this guy once.

01:21:12.000 And I've known him for a while.

01:21:14.000 Always friendly with him.

01:21:15.000 Always normal.

01:21:17.000 How's everything?

01:21:18.000 Everything's good.

01:21:18.000 You know, we talk about this and that.

01:21:20.000 Superficial shit about the news. 0.99

01:21:21.000 Just a guy I knew from work. 0.99

01:21:23.000 Then one day I show up at this place where he's at and he pulls his phone out.

01:21:28.000 And he starts showing me photos of clouds.

01:21:32.000 And he goes, they're everywhere.

01:21:33.000 Do you see them?

01:21:34.000 See them in this one?

01:21:35.000 See them?

01:21:35.000 See them in this one?

01:21:37.000 And I'm like, is this guy doing a bit?

01:21:39.000 Like, what is this?

01:21:40.000 And I go, what do you think those are?

01:21:42.000 He goes, they're definitely from another world.

01:21:44.000 He goes, I'm being watched.

01:21:47.000 It's some sort of an unidentified flying object.

01:21:49.000 I don't know what the purpose is, but it's constantly in the clouds, like following me everywhere. 0.94

01:21:55.000 He's fucking dead serious.

01:21:57.000 So I'm like, how are you certain of this? 0.98

01:21:59.000 So I'm trying to be nice, but I'm also trying to ask questions.

01:22:03.000 I'm like, how are you certain of this?

01:22:05.000 And he goes, it's plain as day.

01:22:07.000 I just know it is.

01:22:08.000 I look at his phone.

01:22:10.000 I go, can I see your phone?

01:22:11.000 He shows me the pictures.

01:22:12.000 Hundreds of pictures of clouds.

01:22:15.000 Hundreds.

01:22:16.000 Hundreds.

01:22:16.000 Just basic clouds.

01:22:17.000 And I'm going, holy shit. 0.99

01:22:19.000 I'm here hanging out with this guy. 0.98

01:22:21.000 And he's hanging out with all of us, which seems like a normal guy.

01:22:25.000 Meanwhile, he's out of his, not like kinda, a little wacky, no. 0.99

01:22:29.000 Out of his fucking mind, but fully functional. 0.99

01:22:32.000 Fully functional. 1.00

01:22:34.000 Respected in his craft.

01:22:35.000 Very nice guy.

01:22:37.000 Seems normal.

01:22:38.000 Real good at talking when he comes around.

01:22:40.000 Hey, how's everybody doing?

01:22:41.000 Good to see ya, good to see ya.

01:22:43.000 Hundreds and hundreds of pictures of clouds on his phone.

01:22:46.000 He just thinks the clouds are filled with aliens and they're following him around.

01:22:50.000 Is he still alive, this guy?

01:22:51.000 I haven't spoken to him in quite a long time, so I'm not sure.

01:22:54.000 I think he is.

01:22:55.000 You know, people snap.

01:22:56.000 I mean, my mom was single when I was growing up, you know, divorced from my dad.

01:23:01.000 And, you know, throughout the course of my life, she had a couple of boyfriends.

01:23:04.000 And one time she was dating this guy.

01:23:07.000 And everything was good, you know?

01:23:09.000 And then he wanted her to go up to, like, a summer house or something that he had, I think in, like, Vermont or New Hampshire, up in that North New England area.

01:23:20.000 And she, for some reason, just didn't want to go.

01:23:23.000 She was like, I just...

01:23:24.000 I don't know.

01:23:25.000 Like, things are going okay with this guy, but she's like, I didn't want to go.

01:23:28.000 I remember being, like, 14, and she's telling me about it, which is, you know, weird.

01:23:32.000 I don't have anything to give.

01:23:33.000 I'm just your son...

01:23:34.000 She's like, should I go, honey?

01:23:35.000 Like, do you think I should go?

01:23:36.000 And I was like, I mean, I don't know, like, I guess go.

01:23:39.000 Like, maybe ask my dad, you know, like your ex-husband.

01:23:42.000 I don't know what to do.

01:23:43.000 I'm 14 years old.

01:23:44.000 And she was like, I'm not going to go.

01:23:45.000 I'm going to stay with you this week and we'll just, we'll do something fun.

01:23:48.000 I was like, all right, whatever.

01:23:50.000 Yeah, have fun with my mom, I guess.

01:23:52.000 So whatever.

01:23:52.000 We just went for pizza, video games.

01:23:54.000 And then, like, a week later, she's on the phone with, um, uh, Like I guess police or something from that area and she's answering all these questions like no he you know I didn't want to go and and all these things and I'm like vaguely hearing it and then she said he like got so pissed off that she didn't want to go like like he felt like rejection from her that he went and killed some couple just sleeping like in their cabin in New Hampshire Vermont and like my mom's like I could

01:24:24.000 have been like That guy was a...

01:24:27.000 I would have never in my life thought that that guy was capable of that. 0.99

01:24:33.000 And he fucking killed someone. 1.00

01:24:35.000 And I was like, holy shit. 1.00

01:24:37.000 And my mom met this guy on a Catholic dating website. 1.00

01:24:40.000 So that's why religion's no good. 1.00

01:24:42.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:24:45.000 Holy shit, man. 0.99

01:24:46.000 Yo, I... Do you ever get to talk to, like, a real... 0.99

01:24:50.000 Like, an inmate who did, like, 20-plus years in prison?

01:24:53.000 You ever have that person on that show or a friend of yours, like, real-time, federal...

01:24:57.000 Yeah, I've talked to quite a few.

01:24:58.000 Yeah.

01:24:59.000 So...

01:25:00.000 I and my family, it's actually my girlfriend's uncle, Jerry.

01:25:04.000 We call him T.T. Jerry.

01:25:05.000 He's transgender.

01:25:06.000 Now he's a woman. 0.97

01:25:09.000 He doesn't care what you call him, pronouns.

01:25:10.000 He's very fluid.

01:25:11.000 But it's interesting.

01:25:12.000 It's my girlfriend's godfather and my little baby daughter's godmother.

01:25:16.000 It's the same person.

01:25:17.000 T.T. Jerry.

01:25:18.000 It's wild.

01:25:19.000 And he's on your podcast all the time.

01:25:21.000 Comes on my podcast all the time.

01:25:22.000 She. 0.93

01:25:23.000 Or that, she doesn't care.

01:25:24.000 Really doesn't care.

01:25:25.000 Her whole thing with, she's like, whatever people want to do, but she always says, she's like, I was trans before it was cool.

01:25:31.000 She was like, so, she was like, here's the bottom line.

01:25:34.000 She goes, you can say pronouns, this or that.

01:25:36.000 She's like, whatever people makes them comfortable and peaceful, they should do that.

01:25:39.000 She's like, but the bottom line is, she's like, when I'm walking past you, if I'm in high heels and a skirt, and you say, excuse me, sir, she was like, I'm turning around.

01:25:46.000 I'm turning around because I know...

01:25:48.000 She's like, I was born a man and that's how my brain will always be a man.

01:25:53.000 But that's her thing. 0.97

01:25:54.000 But anyway, the reason why I'm bringing it up...

01:25:56.000 Isn't that funny?

01:25:56.000 She'll beat you up because she's a man?

01:25:58.000 Dude, she'll beat the shit out. 1.00

01:26:00.000 I don't even put my alarm on when T.T. Jerry sleeps over. 0.99

01:26:02.000 I'm like, you can come in and try to rob my house. 1.00

01:26:04.000 You're going to get skull fucked by T.T. Jerry and murdered before you even get to my bedroom. 1.00

01:26:09.000 But yeah, but Jerry, fascinating person.

01:26:12.000 But the reason why I bring it up is because she has told me from her experience in being in prison, Which is really great.

01:26:18.000 I'm actually so thankful.

01:26:20.000 Because my mother, again, being very conservative, it was very weird.

01:26:23.000 Like, I don't know if you should have an ex-inmate around the kids, honey.

01:26:25.000 And I'm like, it's been amazing to have my stepson and my daughter.

01:26:29.000 My baby daughter's too old. 1.00

01:26:30.000 But my 7-year-old and my 11-year-old, like, learned from him and her about the world, learned from Jerry about the world from that point of view.

01:26:37.000 It was amazing.

01:26:39.000 Because she's really a type of person that, you know, when it's hard to talk to kids when you're like, oh, you better eat your food.

01:26:46.000 Kids don't have food in, you know, Sub-Saharan Africa or whatever. 0.97

01:26:49.000 And kids are like, I don't fucking get that. 0.92

01:26:51.000 Where Jerry's a person that's like, I know what it's like to have zero freedom. 0.98

01:26:54.000 I know what it's like to be in the hole for two years.

01:26:56.000 So I go out there and I enjoy the day for the microcosm of a day.

01:27:01.000 I can enjoy a good smell.

01:27:02.000 I'll have a great day.

01:27:04.000 So I'm happy that my kids get that.

01:27:05.000 But the reason why is because she got to do prison time With Son of Sam, yeah, Son of Sam, Ronald DeFeo Jr., you know, the Amityville Horror House?

01:27:17.000 That's real?

01:27:18.000 Yeah, that's a real thing.

01:27:19.000 Well, you know, the story is, you know, they Hollywooded it up, but he really did kill his family because he said he was hurting voices.

01:27:26.000 He killed everyone.

01:27:27.000 And it's crazy because she said, Jerry said she was, yeah. 1.00

01:27:30.000 Oh, fuck, man. 1.00

01:27:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:27:32.000 So she was an inmate and Tupac. 1.00

01:27:35.000 Oh, I did know about this.

01:27:36.000 I'd forgotten I knew about this.

01:27:38.000 There's actually the actual house itself.

01:27:40.000 It's been demolished.

01:27:41.000 Yeah, because people were visiting it all the time.

01:27:43.000 It's no good.

01:27:44.000 Just like I don't live too far from where the Godfather house was, and I think that was demolished to you because it's like, you know, you own that house. 0.95

01:27:50.000 You're like, I don't want fucking people taking pictures all day and everything. 0.98

01:27:53.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:27:53.000 That'd be so annoying if you lived near the horror house. 1.00

01:27:56.000 But she was saying that Ronald DeFeo Jr., she was like, when you talk to him, Same thing with Son of Sam.

01:28:02.000 You would not guess in a million years what they were capable of.

01:28:06.000 She said, Ronald DeFeo, the only thing about him, she said, you know, the sexual favor, she said she wouldn't cop to any sexual favors with Son of Sam, even though, like, we think, whatever, maybe she hooked up with him, maybe she's just not proud of it.

01:28:18.000 Whatever, it's her story.

01:28:20.000 She says, um...

01:28:21.000 But DeFeo, she was open with.

01:28:22.000 She would let him put a mirror out. 0.99

01:28:26.000 He could put a mirror out in his room and she would dress up in thongs and stuff like that and let him jerk off or whatever. 1.00

01:28:32.000 She'd cook him breakfast. 0.98

01:28:33.000 And he was kind of like his prison wife. 0.87

01:28:36.000 And Jerry said that when you talk to him, it was like the same thing every day.

01:28:41.000 Everything would be normal about him, but except if you ever brought up his crimes, He would never even get mad at it.

01:28:50.000 He would only look you as calm as can be and be like, I just wish I killed my grandmother.

01:28:56.000 I just didn't kill her. 0.97

01:28:58.000 And if I would have killed her, I'd be okay.

01:29:00.000 But I didn't kill her and that's the thing that keeps me up at night.

01:29:03.000 But anyway, how's your day?

01:29:05.000 What's going on?

01:29:07.000 So Jerry was like, that's what it was.

01:29:09.000 And he said David Berkowitz, which this was fascinating with David Berkowitz and Son of Sam.

01:29:13.000 I was like, whoa!

01:29:14.000 Because when she came on my podcast and started talking about it, the documentary about The Son of Sam, which on Netflix, did you ever see that documentary?

01:29:21.000 No, I didn't.

01:29:21.000 So it was about Son of Sam, but it was really kind of saying that, yes, David Berkowitz killed people, undeniable, but not all those people.

01:29:28.000 That he was part of a cult that was running out of some place in Yonkers.

01:29:32.000 And it was like this cult that was killing people, but the police at that time in that summer of 77...

01:29:38.000 There was so much heat on them at that time from the public to fine this serial killer because he was terrorizing them.

01:29:44.000 They were like, we got to pin all the murders on this guy.

01:29:46.000 But there were more murders, similar fashion, after Son of Sam was already incarcerated.

01:29:51.000 Really?

01:29:52.000 Yes.

01:29:52.000 That the police wouldn't kind of, they tried to keep it quiet on the media and they wouldn't connect them.

01:29:57.000 But there are really very strong evidence that this shit was happening. 0.98

01:30:01.000 There was a cult and David Berkowitz was just the guy that took the fall. 0.99

01:30:04.000 He was just one of them that did this.

01:30:07.000 And Jerry was telling us that before the documentary came out, he was like, you know, the thing I learned about Son of Sam is that he didn't kill all those people.

01:30:15.000 She would say, she's like, he didn't kill all those people, baby.

01:30:17.000 No, he did not.

01:30:18.000 She was like, I was intimate with that man.

01:30:20.000 He did not kill all those people.

01:30:21.000 He was saying like that, and she was like, he's like, I know he didn't.

01:30:24.000 She's like, maybe he killed one or two, but he's a pretty nice guy.

01:30:27.000 There's no way he could have killed all those people.

01:30:28.000 And then the documentary came out like two weeks later, and I was like, and she was like, I told you.

01:30:32.000 You see, I told you.

01:30:33.000 Nobody wanted to listen to me.

01:30:34.000 Like, she was like...

01:30:37.000 Did you ever see that movie, Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer?

01:30:40.000 No. 1.00

01:30:41.000 With the guy from The Walking Dead, that fucking killer actor, what the fuck's his name? 1.00

01:30:46.000 The guy who played the lead? 1.00

01:30:49.000 Michael Rooker.

01:30:50.000 Yeah, that guy.

01:30:51.000 So what's that one about?

01:30:52.000 It's about Henry Lee Lucas.

01:30:54.000 And it's a similar story.

01:30:56.000 Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer.

01:30:58.000 Oh, this guy's a fantastic actor.

01:31:00.000 He's so good, dude.

01:31:01.000 And he's so good in that movie.

01:31:03.000 In that movie, he's fantastic.

01:31:04.000 And it's about this guy, Henry Lee Lucas.

01:31:07.000 And he killed like 62 people, just random people across the country, just walk into a bathroom, cut their throat, stab them, walk out, act like nothing happened.

01:31:16.000 Wow. 0.95

01:31:16.000 But the thing is, it might not all be real. 0.95

01:31:20.000 Okay. 0.94

01:31:20.000 Because he got arrested and he seems to be crazy. 0.94

01:31:23.000 Like when you watch the actual video, see if you can find a video of Henry Lee Lucas.

01:31:27.000 I think they just asked him, did you kill this guy?

01:31:30.000 And he's like, yup, killed him too.

01:31:31.000 Yeah.

01:31:31.000 I think it's one of those.

01:31:32.000 Just cop to it all.

01:31:33.000 And I think they pinned a bunch of unsolved cases on him so that it would look like they solved him.

01:31:38.000 Right.

01:31:39.000 I don't think they were being very discerning with whether or not his stories were totally accurate.

01:31:45.000 It just seems like there's some real controversy as to whether he killed that many people.

01:31:49.000 It's like 60 plus people.

01:31:52.000 I'm forgetting who it was.

01:31:54.000 Yeah, so here he is.

01:31:55.000 Oh yeah, I've seen this guy before. 0.99

01:31:57.000 A killing machine. 0.99

01:31:58.000 A killing machine. 0.99

01:31:59.000 A killing machine. 0.96

01:32:03.000 The talent. 0.92

01:32:18.000 Huh.

01:32:26.000 I would give him a pencil.

01:32:27.000 He would sit there and draw pictures and describe what they were wearing, how they were killed.

01:32:32.000 Shootings, strangulations, knife-ins. 0.90

01:32:35.000 I've killed them in every way there is. 0.99

01:32:38.000 Lucas was confessing to any unsolved murder put before him. 0.99

01:32:42.000 I started getting calls from law enforcement all over.

01:32:47.000 Why?

01:32:48.000 Why are you doing it?

01:32:49.000 It was making him feel as though he was contributing.

01:32:52.000 They didn't treat him as a killer, but as a friend.

01:32:56.000 Uh-oh, you got the handcuff?

01:32:57.000 Henry never lived so good.

01:32:59.000 Every day he brought him a strawberry milkshake.

01:33:02.000 It was like he was a movie star.

01:33:06.000 From that point, it went to hell in the handbasket quick.

01:33:11.000 What I'd been believing for all these years was Henry did it.

01:33:15.000 There is not one shred of evidence to show that Lucas killed my mother.

01:33:22.000 The police work was less uncomfortable.

01:33:25.000 Well, not watch the whole trailer, but...

01:33:27.000 So that's basically the gist of the idea of the story, was that he probably didn't kill nearly as many people, but he probably killed some.

01:33:34.000 So I guess at that point you might as well, if he was already in prison for life... 0.98

01:33:39.000 They were just tagging shit on him. 0.98

01:33:41.000 Because I think in prison, right, it's like a different system in there. 1.00

01:33:45.000 It might be beneficial for him if he was in jail for life to just be like, yeah, I killed all these people.

01:33:49.000 He might get more clout that way. 0.53

01:33:51.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:33:52.000 I think he's just an insane person. 0.99

01:33:55.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:33:56.000 And loving the attention.

01:33:57.000 And so he's confessing to all these things.

01:33:59.000 But the point is, it's kind of like the David Berkowitz thing.

01:34:03.000 Like, he probably wasn't responsible for all of them.

01:34:06.000 Right.

01:34:06.000 But even more crazy than Berkowitz, really, when you find out the numbers he's talking about.

01:34:09.000 Yeah.

01:34:10.000 Yeah, I don't... 0.90

01:34:11.000 Do you think you could kill someone?

01:34:13.000 Like, not in a situation where, like, they're attacking your family.

01:34:15.000 Do you think, like, you can get...

01:34:16.000 For no reason?

01:34:17.000 Yeah.

01:34:18.000 Why would you want to kill someone for no reason?

01:34:20.000 No, I... I don't even want to think whether or not I would kill someone for no reason.

01:34:23.000 Do you think you could kill them if they were, like, somehow got in your house? 0.98

01:34:27.000 Yes. 1.00

01:34:27.000 You could do it? 1.00

01:34:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:34:28.000 Would you kill them with a gun or the bow and arrow? 1.00

01:34:31.000 Whatever's nearby. 1.00

01:34:32.000 Not a bow and arrow.

01:34:33.000 That takes time, man.

01:34:34.000 You gotta draw that thing back. 1.00

01:34:35.000 That's stupid. 0.99

01:34:36.000 Or the crossbow, I meant to say. 1.00

01:34:37.000 Yeah.

01:34:38.000 Bare hands, could you do it?

01:34:40.000 If you had to, yes.

01:34:42.000 You would do it?

01:34:42.000 Oh, yes.

01:34:43.000 Yeah, I guess I'd do it, too.

01:34:44.000 Of course you would.

01:34:45.000 If you're protecting your child?

01:34:47.000 Protecting a child.

01:34:48.000 You wouldn't even realize it was over until you were over a broken watermelon that used to be their head.

01:34:53.000 Right.

01:34:53.000 You wouldn't even realize it.

01:34:54.000 If someone was trying to harm your family, you'd black out. 1.00

01:34:57.000 You would go fucking psycho. 1.00

01:34:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:35:00.000 It would be animal-like.

01:35:02.000 Yeah.

01:35:02.000 And if you know how to fight and you're a big guy, I'm sure it would be terrifying.

01:35:06.000 Yeah.

01:35:07.000 I guess you're right.

01:35:08.000 Yeah.

01:35:08.000 No, I'm right.

01:35:09.000 Yeah.

01:35:09.000 I'm 100% right.

01:35:11.000 Yeah.

01:35:11.000 And you think even if I'm like, oh, I don't really know.

01:35:14.000 I mean, I box a little bit.

01:35:15.000 But if I was like, even if the guy was...

01:35:18.000 If you thought someone was trying to harm someone you love, you would...

01:35:21.000 I'd fight to the death. 0.57

01:35:22.000 You would be out of your head. 1.00

01:35:23.000 You'd be out of your head with violence.

01:35:26.000 Now, what about war?

01:35:27.000 What if you got drafted tomorrow?

01:35:28.000 Do you think you could just do that?

01:35:30.000 Because you just drop into a war zone tomorrow.

01:35:32.000 We're getting drafted.

01:35:34.000 It's World War II. I think most people, if you're in a war, there's, I mean, whether or not you would perform well, that's obviously, that's a different story, whether or not you could keep it together under the insane pressure of gunfighting.

01:35:50.000 Right.

01:35:50.000 But most people, I think, throughout history that have gone to war have kind of adapted to that, that this is life now, life is war.

01:35:58.000 Right.

01:35:59.000 They come back and they're destroyed by it and devastated by it, but...

01:36:02.000 Right. 0.88

01:36:02.000 You know, it's a fucking super insane aspect of humanity that's existed forever. 0.88

01:36:08.000 So I think, unfortunately, most people have the capacity to kill people in war. 0.99

01:36:15.000 Right.

01:36:15.000 I think, you know, obviously, the softer your life has been, the less adversity you've experienced, the harder it would be to do anything hard, anything difficult.

01:36:25.000 And war is the hardest thing you could do.

01:36:27.000 I was listening to some things like a very old man said.

01:36:31.000 I saw it on Instagram the other day.

01:36:33.000 Like this guy was like, I think it might have been like 100. So lived through World War II. And he was saying, you know, there's a chance.

01:36:39.000 He was like, I feel.

01:36:40.000 He was saying he feels rumblings of what it was like in Europe.

01:36:44.000 Pre-World War II now, because he said, I feel rumblings of it now.

01:36:48.000 He said, because if you would have told someone in 1930, if you would have told a Jewish person in 1930, 1935, even before Hitler came to power, hey, in 10 years from now, five years from now, you guys are going to be in concentration camps. 0.89

01:36:59.000 They'd be like, what are you, crazy?

01:37:01.000 Yeah, there's anti-Semitism, but it's like... 0.91

01:37:03.000 I think?

01:37:24.000 You were living in peacetime.

01:37:25.000 He said, we've been living now in too much peacetime.

01:37:29.000 He said, because when you live in so much peacetime, that's why you never want to go to war.

01:37:33.000 He said, when you live in wartime, that's why you know the horrors of war.

01:37:39.000 So he is like, you understand you will get over your differences a lot quicker because you know what war is.

01:37:45.000 He said, our generation now, these people, we only know peace.

01:37:49.000 He said, and then the war is going to begin and you're going to beg for peace and it's too late. 0.95

01:37:53.000 And I was like, holy shit, that hit me in a place where I was like, yo, I've only lived in peacetime. 0.98

01:37:57.000 Like, for real peacetime. 0.98

01:37:59.000 We're involved in something that could get hot.

01:38:01.000 It really can, right?

01:38:03.000 This Russia-Ukraine thing could get hot. 0.99

01:38:04.000 We don't know what the fuck's happening. 0.98

01:38:06.000 And then I saw something today where Donald Trump has that truth media. 0.98

01:38:10.000 Yeah.

01:38:10.000 You know he's got a truth media?

01:38:12.000 And somebody said something about civil war and he re-truthed it.

01:38:17.000 So that's what you do?

01:38:19.000 You re-truth things on truth media?

01:38:22.000 So he re-truthed someone saying something about civil war.

01:38:27.000 Right.

01:38:28.000 Like we're in danger of having a civil war?

01:38:31.000 What did he say?

01:38:33.000 What was it?

01:38:36.000 Can you show it to us?

01:38:37.000 Well, the first one I clicked was behind a paywall.

01:38:40.000 I know I saw it on Twitter, so it must be true. 0.65

01:38:44.000 So he retweeted Lara Logan retweeting the president of El Salvador.

01:38:49.000 Okay.

01:38:49.000 So someone says the most powerful country in the world is falling so fast that it makes you rethink what are the real reasons.

01:38:57.000 So this is the president of El Salvador says this.

01:38:59.000 And Lara Logan, she re-truths that.

01:39:03.000 Okay.

01:39:04.000 And then someone else posts a comment that says civil war.

01:39:08.000 Mm-hmm.

01:39:09.000 And then he re-truthed that.

01:39:12.000 So Donald J. Trump re-truthed someone saying Civil War. 0.99

01:39:17.000 Which is kind of fucking crazy. 0.86

01:39:20.000 Do you think it's truthfully possible in our lifetime, our children's lifetime, for an American Civil War or a World War III for real at a global scale? 0.96

01:39:28.000 Yes.

01:39:28.000 All it would take is a big event.

01:39:31.000 All it would take is a big event.

01:39:32.000 I mean, look what happened during like...

01:39:34.000 The post-George Floyd murder riots where everybody was freaking out and worried that anarchy was going to take over the city streets.

01:39:43.000 I remember the video of the cop cars on fire in Los Angeles.

01:39:47.000 It was wild.

01:39:49.000 I posted the video on my Instagram.

01:39:51.000 It was videos of like, there was like several cop cars on fire, like the night of the riots.

01:39:59.000 Right.

01:39:59.000 And that video, I remember thinking like, imagine seeing that video 10 years ago.

01:40:04.000 He'd be like, there's no way.

01:40:05.000 There's no way this could be.

01:40:06.000 But this, if this happened the way this happened, and then another big event happened, another big event took place, and they blamed that big event, whether it's on the Republicans or the liberals.

01:40:17.000 Right.

01:40:17.000 That someone did something horrific.

01:40:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:40:19.000 And killed people, and then they decided to retaliate, and then shit gets sideways. 1.00

01:40:24.000 That's 100% possible. 0.99

01:40:25.000 I mean, look at the French Revolution, you know, when Marie Antoinette is saying, let them eat cake, like, again, that was at the top of French society.

01:40:31.000 Things were good.

01:40:32.000 They were, at that time, as good as they are now, and then what happened?

01:40:36.000 They cut the king's head off because the wage gap is so big, and they feel that a little bit now, too, where it's like, poor people are getting really, really, really poor, especially now, and then rich are getting very, very rich. 0.99

01:40:47.000 Not just that, but what about the supply chain problems where they're running on a baby formula and shit? 0.99

01:40:52.000 That stuff freaks people the fuck out. 0.99

01:40:54.000 That is one of those things.

01:40:55.000 When I was in a Walgreens the other day, shout out Walgreens, I was there and I saw empty baby shelves, empty shelves of baby food.

01:41:04.000 My daughter's about to be 11 months, so she's drinking regular milk now.

01:41:07.000 But I was like, if this was six months ago, what do people do?

01:41:11.000 What do they do?

01:41:12.000 That's the question.

01:41:13.000 I mean, this is why conspiracy theorists love moments like this, because they, instead of assuming that it's like massive incompetence and a series of events that causes a disaster, they just assume that, you know, they're trying to starve us out, they're trying to starve the babies. 0.87

01:41:29.000 That's a fucking super complex conspiracy that would involve a lot of people keeping their mouths shut and doing something that's really evil. 0.90

01:41:37.000 Right. 1.00

01:41:38.000 Or, most people are dumb. 1.00

01:41:41.000 Right. 1.00

01:41:42.000 And then they have these jobs and they fuck this up and it gets to a point where they've made this disastrous miscalculation or a series of events have led to a shortage in baby formula.

01:41:53.000 Isn't it more likely that it's that? 0.98

01:41:54.000 You see how fucking goofy people are with almost everything? 0.94

01:41:57.000 Yeah, I think like, you know, just now as, you know, because it feels like this is like an age of like conspiracy where like science is more dominant than religion, you know? 0.97

01:42:08.000 It's kind of like, as a matter of fact, Giannis, when we talked about this on History Anus, he used to say something I never thought of, but he's the one that mentioned it, where he was like, you know, there was times when religion is more prevalent than science and, like, kind of just gets stuck in the mud at, like, middle ages.

01:42:22.000 You're just stuck in the mud.

01:42:22.000 No advancements really happen because religion is dominant.

01:42:26.000 He goes, but now science is dominant and religion is down.

01:42:30.000 Religion's getting a beating and science is dominant, so the world's moving very fast. 1.00

01:42:34.000 Yeah, but not just that, but science is connected to a very specific ideology.

01:42:38.000 Right.

01:42:38.000 It's connected to a progressive ideology, to the point where, like, there's some aspects of science that get compromised by ideology.

01:42:47.000 Right.

01:42:48.000 Where they don't want to even examine whether or not things are—whether it's beneficial or non-beneficial, whether it's dangerous or problematic, because they don't want to run the risk Of like offending a specific group.

01:43:01.000 Right.

01:43:01.000 Yeah, like that whole like thing where it seems like everything's black and white now, like where it's like you either do the things in the order or the person can't let you on when it's like, you know, the person who's in charge, you know, has to make an example of you where it's like we live in this gray world.

01:43:16.000 Like my daughter was at a birthday party the other day.

01:43:19.000 And we're in the amusement park, and you have to have wristbands.

01:43:23.000 The kids have to have wristbands, right?

01:43:24.000 And so all the kids are getting on with the wristbands, and one dad, the adults have to have tickets.

01:43:31.000 And the girl, she had a wristband, but he also had another little kid who wasn't part of the party, and he had a ticket for her, but he didn't have a ticket for himself.

01:43:38.000 So he was like, can I just go on with my daughter?

01:43:41.000 You know, she really wants to go on this rollercoaster with her sister, but she's not big enough yet. 1.00

01:43:44.000 Can I just go on?

01:43:46.000 And the guy was like, can't let you do that, buddy.

01:43:48.000 Rules are rules.

01:43:49.000 It's like, are they?

01:43:50.000 Like, at what point?

01:43:52.000 When would that...

01:43:53.000 Because I feel like 30 years ago, you would have just let the guy on.

01:43:56.000 Like, I feel like pre-9-11 was a different world. 1.00

01:43:58.000 That guy would have just let the guy on because it's like, of course, you stupid asshole. 1.00

01:44:01.000 Maybe. 1.00

01:44:01.000 Just let him on. 1.00

01:44:02.000 But it's like, with this rules are rules thing, it's like...

01:44:05.000 I don't know.

01:44:06.000 Some people just enjoy telling people no, too.

01:44:08.000 And maybe he doesn't have the ability to say yes.

01:44:11.000 What do you mean?

01:44:11.000 Maybe he can get fired.

01:44:12.000 Maybe if they found out that he let him on, he can get fired.

01:44:17.000 I mean, could you imagine?

01:44:18.000 I wouldn't want to work for a guy that's going to fire me for letting on a small kid.

01:44:22.000 There's a lot of people out there that are working for people they don't want to work for.

01:44:27.000 They don't want to risk that.

01:44:29.000 It's too hard to get a good job.

01:44:30.000 If you've got a good job and you like working there, you can't.

01:44:35.000 You can't just let a guy on.

01:44:36.000 I feel like there's a million jobs now.

01:44:38.000 Actually, people are not working.

01:44:39.000 There's a lot of service jobs available.

01:44:41.000 Those are available.

01:44:42.000 That's a big one.

01:44:43.000 But, I mean, I don't know, man.

01:44:45.000 Some people don't want to have to take a risk like that just for some dude. 1.00

01:44:50.000 You know, you're supposed to have a ticket for you and a ticket for your fucking kids. 0.99

01:44:53.000 You shouldn't have a sob story, buddy. 1.00

01:44:55.000 Like, figure it out.

01:44:57.000 Yeah, but I feel like I would, you know, the guy was even saying, he was like, let me go on the ride with her.

01:45:02.000 My kid's going crazy.

01:45:03.000 My other daughter wants to go, and we just wait in this long line.

01:45:05.000 And I will give you the ticket.

01:45:06.000 I'll go buy the ticket and give it to you.

01:45:08.000 I'll leave my cell phone here.

01:45:09.000 Like, he was trying to...

01:45:10.000 You have to get a ticket in advance.

01:45:10.000 That's the rules?

01:45:11.000 That's the rules.

01:45:12.000 But he just...

01:45:13.000 Oh, he said he was going to leave his cell phone there?

01:45:14.000 Yeah, he was like, I would leave, just let me ride the ride with her.

01:45:16.000 And then, you know, he walks off with both his kids.

01:45:18.000 They're crying, yelling at him, you know?

01:45:20.000 And I'm like, oh, man.

01:45:22.000 But I could tell the guy who didn't let the father with his two kids on felt powerful.

01:45:27.000 I could tell.

01:45:28.000 He was like, yo, rules.

01:45:29.000 He was telling his co-worker.

01:45:30.000 He was like, rules are rules, man.

01:45:32.000 You know, rules are rules.

01:45:33.000 You run into that sometimes with stewardesses.

01:45:36.000 Like, have you ever had a coach seat and been treated really shittily by some lady? 0.99

01:45:43.000 Yeah.

01:45:46.000 Why are you communicating like you're a school marm?

01:45:49.000 One of the best things I've ever seen in my entire life, and I'm so happy it wasn't secondhand, I'm so happy I was genuinely there to see it from start to finish, is I was flying somewhere, and I was in the first class section.

01:46:03.000 I was up there.

01:46:05.000 It was like a short flight somewhere, but first class, it was only a few bucks more, so I got it, and I'm up there. 0.99

01:46:12.000 And there's a guy in first class who's being like such a dick. 0.99

01:46:17.000 Like from the beginning, like a dick. 1.00

01:46:18.000 Like he was asking the flight attendants like ridiculous questions. 0.99

01:46:22.000 He's like, do you guys have, you know, he wanted like a fresh mozzarella salad and she was like, we have what's in the menu. 0.77

01:46:27.000 Like, you know, like he was being that.

01:46:29.000 And you could just tell he was like, every time the guy would try to climb over him to pee, he would like look at him like obnoxiously.

01:46:35.000 And the flight attendant was a woman like in her 50s, very sweet woman. 0.94

01:46:39.000 And he, you know, they take your jackets, your sports coats or whatever.

01:46:44.000 And then at, you know, when we're...

01:46:46.000 Pilot comes on and says, hey, we're doing the initial descent, whatever.

01:46:49.000 She starts handing out the jackets to the people.

01:46:52.000 And then she's handing his jacket to him, and he goes, there's a crease in my jacket, lady.

01:46:58.000 There's a crease in my jacket.

01:46:59.000 She goes, sir, I'm so sorry, but, you know, there's money jackets in here, and I'm sorry, you know, we'll do what we can when we land, but, you know, whatever.

01:47:06.000 So polite. 0.94

01:47:07.000 And he goes, un-fucking-believable. 0.91

01:47:09.000 Crease in my jacket. 1.00

01:47:10.000 And he's, like, looking around at all of us, and we're like, who gives a fuck about your dumb jacket? 0.99

01:47:15.000 So, he keeps on. 0.99

01:47:16.000 And, you know, she's sitting in her bucket seat by this point.

01:47:19.000 You know, like, where I can't see her, but you know she's there.

01:47:21.000 But he could see her.

01:47:22.000 He goes, she's unfucking believable. 0.99

01:47:24.000 He goes, I'm gonna have your head on a plate for this, to this lady. 1.00

01:47:27.000 And he keeps cursing at her. 0.99

01:47:28.000 And it's so beyond uncomfortable, where you're like, oh my god, like, just shut up, guy. 0.99

01:47:34.000 It's your jacket. 1.00

01:47:34.000 Shut up, shut up, shut up. 1.00

01:47:36.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:47:36.000 We might be, truthfully, like... 1.00

01:47:39.000 1,000 feet off the ground.

01:47:40.000 Like, we're going to hit 500 miles an hour on the landing zone, on the runway, in less than a minute.

01:47:47.000 All of a sudden, you hear the belt buckle unbuttoned.

01:47:49.000 She gets right on his face. 1.00

01:47:50.000 She goes, shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:47:52.000 I will break your fucking arm. 1.00

01:47:54.000 Shut your fucking mouth, sir. 1.00

01:47:56.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:47:58.000 Whoa. 1.00

01:47:59.000 And then goes back down and the first class cabin and some of the start clapping like that.

01:48:04.000 I never in my life have seen anything like that.

01:48:08.000 Come to find out when we're getting off, the pilot makes an announcement.

01:48:12.000 He goes, so sorry for some foul language from Sandra. 0.98

01:48:16.000 He goes, today is actually her last day.

01:48:18.000 She's retiring today.

01:48:20.000 And there was a bit of an incident, but she did 30 years of unbelievable, unbelievable, exceptional work for Delta.

01:48:26.000 So let's give Sandra a round of applause. 1.00

01:48:28.000 And the whole plane just clapped for her. 1.00

01:48:30.000 And I was like, and this guy felt like such an asshole with his dumb crease jacket just on his lap. 1.00

01:48:36.000 And then he got off ahead of me. 1.00

01:48:39.000 I was like row three.

01:48:40.000 He was in row one.

01:48:41.000 And he's trying to make a complaint.

01:48:44.000 And they're like, sir, you'll do it at the information desk.

01:48:47.000 We have to get off this plane.

01:48:48.000 This plane has to turn around.

01:48:49.000 And I was like, wow, they're like shuffling this guy out.

01:48:51.000 Like, they had his back.

01:48:53.000 So they had her back, the flight attendant's back.

01:48:55.000 And it was like that poetic...

01:48:56.000 I've seen poetic justice like that twice in my life.

01:48:59.000 That sounds amazing.

01:49:00.000 Yeah.

01:49:01.000 That was one.

01:49:02.000 And then when I was a kid, I should have gotten into mixed martial arts back then because I saw something happen that was wild.

01:49:09.000 My dad was taking me to a Knicks game.

01:49:12.000 1995, 96. I'm a little kid.

01:49:15.000 My dad's taking me to the Knicks game.

01:49:17.000 Stay.

01:49:17.000 Game's great.

01:49:18.000 We're going home.

01:49:19.000 My dad would always take me on the subway all the way back home to where I live with my mom.

01:49:23.000 And we're on the train, maybe 1030 at night, and there's a man and his wife and their daughter sitting in between them.

01:49:31.000 And you could tell something's wrong, like she's holding her ears, right?

01:49:35.000 Like she's in pain, looks like she's in pain.

01:49:37.000 And this group of teenagers get on, or maybe guys in their early 20s, and they're being like insanely loud.

01:49:42.000 Like loud, they're like kind of just causing a ruckus. 0.97

01:49:46.000 That's New York City, Subway, shit like that happens all the time. 0.99

01:49:49.000 So, loud. 0.99

01:49:51.000 And the father, so politely, is like, hey guys, I know it's free space, but my daughter has a double ear infection.

01:50:00.000 We're on the way to the doctor now.

01:50:02.000 Please, if you could just keep it down, or if you want to yell, like yell in the next car, please. 1.00

01:50:08.000 And then the guy goes, yo, fuck you. 1.00

01:50:10.000 Like that. 1.00

01:50:10.000 And I'm sitting with my father. 1.00

01:50:12.000 My father was sitting across, and my father says to me, he goes, this is going to be bad.

01:50:16.000 He goes, look at that guy's ears.

01:50:18.000 And he had like that cauliflower ear.

01:50:20.000 He goes, look, don't ever mess with a guy who has ears like that.

01:50:23.000 Never.

01:50:24.000 And he was like, it's going to be bad.

01:50:26.000 And I was like, okay.

01:50:27.000 And then the guy's just sitting there. 0.99

01:50:29.000 And when the kid, the 20-year-old guy, said to the father, you know, shut the fuck up or whatever, the wife just immediately starts rubbing the father's back. 0.99

01:50:38.000 Just rubbing him. 0.99

01:50:39.000 She's like, honey, just whatever she's saying.

01:50:40.000 I can't really make it up.

01:50:41.000 But I see rubbing the back.

01:50:43.000 So, he's sitting there and they keep yelling.

01:50:46.000 And she's like, you see the little girl like, you know how painful it is to have a double ear infection?

01:50:51.000 Now you got people now actively screaming.

01:50:54.000 And it must be just put right into her brain.

01:50:57.000 And the father says, guys, I'm going to give you one more chance.

01:51:02.000 Just please, please, please, don't make me have to act.

01:51:06.000 Don't make me have to act.

01:51:07.000 Please don't.

01:51:08.000 Please just go to the next car, please.

01:51:10.000 And the guy, the 20-year-old, at the top of his lungs screams, like, to be funny with his boys, like, rah! 1.00

01:51:16.000 Like that, to basically be like, fuck you. 1.00

01:51:19.000 In one motion, the guy gets up. 1.00

01:51:21.000 I don't know what kind of technique.

01:51:23.000 You would know more than me if you saw it. 1.00

01:51:25.000 Has him in, like, a fucking headlock. 0.99

01:51:26.000 And then what looked like breaks his arm off a pole. 1.00

01:51:30.000 Like, off the pole, fucking breaks his arm. 0.99

01:51:32.000 The kid's on the floor, screaming, screaming. 1.00

01:51:36.000 Maybe crying.

01:51:37.000 My memory doesn't...

01:51:38.000 I don't remember that, but crying.

01:51:40.000 Somebody pulls the emergency brake.

01:51:41.000 Now we're stopped in the middle of the tunnel.

01:51:43.000 The police walk onto the train.

01:51:45.000 Again, this was pre-9-11 where, like, rules were a little more lax.

01:51:49.000 Police get on the train.

01:51:51.000 Everybody says what the story was.

01:51:53.000 This guy gave him so many attempts.

01:51:54.000 Daughter's got an ear infection. 0.88

01:51:56.000 They winds up, they take the father and the daughter off to get the daughter to, I guess, whatever more emergency place or whatever route they have to get her ear infection looked at and they arrested the kid with the broken arm.

01:52:07.000 Oh my god.

01:52:08.000 I was like, whoa.

01:52:09.000 Those are the two times I saw like crazy poetic justice.

01:52:11.000 That time and the flight attendant.

01:52:14.000 That was just a couple years ago. 0.99

01:52:15.000 I was like, holy shit, dude. 1.00

01:52:17.000 Yeah, people get away with a lot of shit, man. 1.00

01:52:20.000 Now they do. 1.00

01:52:21.000 Well, sometimes they do.

01:52:22.000 Sometimes, you know, sometimes you get to watch it on video.

01:52:25.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:52:26.000 It's just like when someone gets their ass kicked like the guy at the Newark airport. 0.99

01:52:30.000 I was watching it this morning. 0.99

01:52:31.000 Like that video going around. 0.76

01:52:32.000 He smacks that dude in the head. 0.51

01:52:34.000 But the thing that's been going around is a shorter version of one that's a little longer.

01:52:40.000 The little longer one, they were kind of like swinging at each other before that.

01:52:44.000 There was something that happened right before that.

01:52:47.000 And then there was the one where the guy slapped him in the face.

01:52:51.000 And then the other guy knocks him out.

01:52:53.000 That guy was on the Denver Broncos practice squad.

01:52:56.000 That's a fact.

01:52:57.000 That's a giant human. 1.00

01:52:59.000 Why would you fuck with him? 1.00

01:53:00.000 And I have a friend who works as a baggage handler in that section of the airport and said that the employee, I think it's United, is going to lose his job. 1.00

01:53:09.000 That's what everyone's saying. 0.99

01:53:10.000 You can't get in a fucking slap fight with a guy. 0.99

01:53:12.000 Or even if you didn't get fired, would you go back to work after getting punched into the luggage rack and then getting up, stumbling around? 0.99

01:53:21.000 How do you go back to your position like nothing happened?

01:53:23.000 People are going to remember that.

01:53:24.000 I would leave.

01:53:25.000 I wouldn't work for that airline anymore.

01:53:27.000 But it's also like once you...

01:53:29.000 If you're at a job and you're in the service industry, which is essentially what you are, you're working behind a counter at an airport, and you wind up getting in a fight with someone, you got a video of it?

01:53:39.000 I'm trying to find the longer one.

01:53:40.000 It's like... 0.99

01:53:41.000 I get customers can push people to their fucking limits. 1.00

01:53:44.000 I get that. 1.00

01:53:45.000 Right.

01:53:45.000 But once you get in a full-on fistfight, most likely you don't work there anymore.

01:53:49.000 No.

01:53:50.000 No.

01:53:51.000 Especially if there's a video of you slapping a man and then getting KO'd. 1.00

01:53:55.000 So there's some shit. 1.00

01:53:56.000 See? 1.00

01:53:57.000 See?

01:53:57.000 It's going on before that.

01:53:59.000 They were slapping each other.

01:54:00.000 See?

01:54:00.000 He threw some punches at him before that.

01:54:03.000 And then he hit.

01:54:03.000 Right.

01:54:04.000 See?

01:54:04.000 And a couple times.

01:54:05.000 See?

01:54:06.000 Actually, this guy's taking it.

01:54:07.000 Watch this, yes.

01:54:08.000 Watch this.

01:54:09.000 See? 0.99

01:54:11.000 And then he smacks him in the head. 0.99

01:54:12.000 Okay. 0.54

01:54:13.000 So this is after that dude had already hit him a bunch of times.

01:54:16.000 See?

01:54:16.000 Right.

01:54:16.000 And then he can.

01:54:17.000 See, this is one of the...

01:54:19.000 Let's pause this right here.

01:54:20.000 Because there's a lesson in this.

01:54:21.000 This is why video is so deceptive.

01:54:24.000 Right.

01:54:24.000 Like a viral video that's taken out of context can be so deceptive.

01:54:27.000 So we don't know what words were said between these two guys.

01:54:30.000 We really don't know what happened.

01:54:31.000 But if you go all the way to the beginning, they were swinging at each other.

01:54:36.000 Right?

01:54:36.000 So, see, it looks like he touches him first, though.

01:54:39.000 Go back.

01:54:39.000 Yeah, he still looks like he swung first.

01:54:41.000 Yeah, it looks like he pushes him first, and then the other dude slaps him in the head, and then he takes a couple swings at him, and the guy moves away, and gets clipped a little bit, and then he hits him again and again and again, and then he steps forward and slaps him in the face.

01:54:56.000 So that is all everybody saw.

01:54:59.000 And then you see this punch land, and then another one, and now he's flatlined. 0.93

01:55:03.000 But there was a lot of shit that went down before this that most people didn't see because the video that was going around was only right after the slap. 0.98

01:55:11.000 What's interesting to me, though, is this guy, the guy who got knocked out, can take a punch and seems not to be afraid, but why, when he gets his opening, does he softly bitch slap him? 0.98

01:55:20.000 Because he's so confused. 0.91

01:55:21.000 He's probably rocked.

01:55:23.000 He got cracked.

01:55:24.000 He's already discombobulated.

01:55:25.000 Dude, watch this.

01:55:26.000 Let's go back to the beginning.

01:55:28.000 You know, I'm sure you've been hit in the head before.

01:55:30.000 Yeah, I have.

01:55:30.000 There's one.

01:55:32.000 Now watch this.

01:55:33.000 They're standing in front of each other.

01:55:34.000 That one lands.

01:55:35.000 That one lands.

01:55:36.000 Stumbles back.

01:55:36.000 So he's rocked right now.

01:55:38.000 That one lands.

01:55:39.000 So he's fucked right now. 1.00

01:55:41.000 He don't know what he's doing. 0.99

01:55:42.000 Like, that dude's... 0.99

01:55:43.000 He's fucking seeing stars. 1.00

01:55:46.000 His bell's rung. 0.99

01:55:48.000 And then he gets hit again, and now he's going out.

01:55:50.000 Bam! 0.98

01:55:50.000 And then the second one. 0.98

01:55:51.000 So when he goes and lays back... 1.00

01:55:55.000 Damn. 1.00

01:55:55.000 When he hit his head that last time, it's no good. 1.00

01:55:57.000 None of it was good, but it was like those punches that he got hit with before he slapped that guy probably had him out of his fucking head. 0.99

01:56:04.000 He was disoriented. 0.99

01:56:05.000 He's completely disoriented.

01:56:06.000 He doesn't know what's going on.

01:56:07.000 So what is the course of action?

01:56:08.000 Do you have to arrest both of them? 0.97

01:56:10.000 Well, I don't know because maybe there was some shit that went 15 seconds before that that explains why he pushed him. 0.99

01:56:17.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.98

01:56:17.000 Yeah, that's why the police always have, like, the real footage. 0.98

01:56:21.000 Like, I have a friend, I'm sure you have many friends who are police, like, there's time, and probably illegally does this, but there's times where, like, a video will be on the news, and then he'll send you the real video.

01:56:29.000 Yeah.

01:56:29.000 And then it looks like different stuff happened, or he'll tell you, like, a real story.

01:56:33.000 Like, I remember, I remember in, it was, like, a big article in New York.

01:56:39.000 It was happening, like, you know, like, anti-Asian hate, like, an Asian person, elderly person that got pushed over, and it was on the front...

01:56:46.000 Paid anti-Asian hate, anti-Asian hate, which, you know, was unfortunately probably happening.

01:56:51.000 But he, my friend, was like, you know, he goes, it's happening.

01:56:56.000 For sure it's happening.

01:56:57.000 He goes, but you know that person who happened to be Asian was one of like 15 elderly people that was pushed over.

01:57:03.000 One of them got pushed down the stairs and is dead at the bottom of the subway.

01:57:06.000 But they didn't fit the agenda that the media wanted that day.

01:57:10.000 So that's the thing.

01:57:11.000 It's like it's cherry-picking at times.

01:57:14.000 Not everything, but I remember that day, I was like, oh.

01:57:17.000 Oh, look at this.

01:57:18.000 Oh, he was arrested.

01:57:19.000 Ex-NFL player, yeah.

01:57:19.000 Yeah, cops tell us the passenger, ex-NFL player, Brendan Langley, was arrested and charged with simple assault.

01:57:26.000 Langley was a third-round pick in 2017 NFL Draft out of Lamar University.

01:57:31.000 The employee has been fired following the incident.

01:57:35.000 So, it's interesting.

01:57:36.000 It's like, I don't know what happened.

01:57:38.000 He said, the law enforcement tells us the passenger was arrested, not the employee, despite the passenger's claim that he didn't throw the first punch.

01:57:46.000 It seems like, at least from what we saw there, that the employee touches him first.

01:57:51.000 Right?

01:57:51.000 It seems like that.

01:57:52.000 It seems like he kind of pushed him more than he punched him.

01:57:54.000 Right.

01:57:55.000 But then the other dude started teeing off on him.

01:57:57.000 Yeah.

01:57:58.000 You get punched like that, man. 1.00

01:58:00.000 You don't know what the fuck's going on. 1.00

01:58:02.000 When I was in high school, if you had an altercation, like if you got into the first couple years of high school, I had an all-boy Catholic high school, and then they let girls in. 0.99

01:58:11.000 But when they were just boys, and it was like a tradition at the high school I went to, if you got into a fight, like me and you were classmates, and we got into a fight, like just a verbal...

01:58:19.000 You would go to the basement after school and a teacher was there to supervise it.

01:58:22.000 They'd put on boxing gloves and let you like duke it out. 1.00

01:58:24.000 Holy shit. 0.99

01:58:25.000 What if a guy was like bigger than you and tougher than you and beat you up and then you had to get in the ring with him again afterwards? 1.00

01:58:31.000 That was their mentality to be like, don't fight.

01:58:33.000 Because if you fight, any type of altercation at all, you're going to have to do that with gloves on.

01:58:37.000 But what if it's just like a bully who's way bigger than a guy who beats him up?

01:58:41.000 That's the way the rules were.

01:58:43.000 Oh my god.

01:58:44.000 That'd be terrifying. 1.00

01:58:45.000 So you get your ass kicked and then you have to fight them with gloves on? 0.99

01:58:48.000 Well, by the time I got to high school, they weren't doing it so much anymore, but you saw where the ring was, and I was like, that's a crazy way. 0.99

01:58:56.000 Bro, think about what they did with the Spartans.

01:58:58.000 I mean, they had little kids fighting when they were little.

01:59:00.000 Yeah.

01:59:01.000 Yeah, I mean, they made them little warriors.

01:59:03.000 If they weren't good babies, they'd leave them in the woods. 0.96

01:59:06.000 Is there anything wrong with them?

01:59:07.000 Is that a myth?

01:59:08.000 What did you say?

01:59:08.000 Is that a myth?

01:59:09.000 Is that what you're going to say?

01:59:10.000 No, no, I said a myth.

01:59:10.000 I said that might have been, when you asked me to go back in time, that would be the only one I consider, other than the Revolutionary War, is to see that formation.

01:59:19.000 What was the formation called?

01:59:21.000 The troops, they would do that in the movie 300. They would make that triangle and it was like impenetrable.

01:59:29.000 I would love to see that, like Thermopylae, something like that, only to see if it's true or not.

01:59:34.000 There's a lot of things that I was like, is it true or is it not?

01:59:37.000 Because even like Revolutionary War stuff, they say when you start to do the research that the Declaration of Independence wasn't what the people wanted.

01:59:47.000 At that time, it was like propaganda.

01:59:49.000 It was like American – it was like propaganda. 0.84

01:59:51.000 Like we – all we wanted when – all we were saying was we want people to represent us, you know, taxation without representation.

01:59:58.000 That's all we want is to be represented in parliament as a colony.

02:00:02.000 That's it.

02:00:03.000 But then the war effort is going on and, you know, a year goes by and all of the soldiers, the colonial soldiers kind of – Time is up.

02:00:12.000 They want to go back to their farms.

02:00:13.000 They miss their wives.

02:00:14.000 They miss their kids.

02:00:15.000 And Washington and all the – Benjamin Franklin and all these people are like, wait a second.

02:00:18.000 How do we get these soldiers to stay?

02:00:20.000 And then they hired Thomas Paine to write Common Sense, which was like the first viral – it was like the big TikTok of the day.

02:00:27.000 It was a pamphlet.

02:00:28.000 And it was like, oh, don't you want – Don't you want to declare freedom from the tyrannical British? 0.99

02:00:34.000 And most people were like, no, we have safety with these people. 1.00

02:00:37.000 And then their story is like that they created, the Founding Fathers kind of created this myth and they created like this thing that people were like, all right, yeah, actually we do, fuck them. 0.98

02:00:48.000 So I would like to see like, what's the truth? 0.98

02:00:53.000 I'd like to sit down with a random colonial person.

02:00:56.000 Just from any colony.

02:00:58.000 And just sit down and be like, in 1774, how do you really feel about the British, buddy?

02:01:03.000 What pisses you off about them? 0.99

02:01:05.000 And just have them eating molasses, making shoes, just fucking talking to me, you know? 0.99

02:01:11.000 And that's, I would like that, because we know what George Washington said, or we know what, you know, fucking any famous historical, I mean, it's written down, whether it's bullshit or not, but it's like, what did Joe from Massachusetts say? 0.99

02:01:22.000 1774 Joe. 0.94

02:01:23.000 What did that guy think?

02:01:25.000 You know?

02:01:25.000 Were there conspiracy theorists back then?

02:01:27.000 What were those conspiracies? 0.97

02:01:28.000 What did they think was fucking wild? 0.95

02:01:30.000 Because the top—you ever think about, like, the top scientist, the smartest—the Elon Musk of the day in 1700 just doesn't know anything? 0.96

02:01:41.000 They were like, oh yeah, the earth goes around the sun.

02:01:44.000 You're like, what?

02:01:45.000 No.

02:01:47.000 Now, it's like, what don't we know?

02:01:49.000 I think about that a lot. 0.91

02:01:50.000 It's like, the top guy now, 300 years from now, then he'd be like, remember how cute Elon was when he used to think about that dumb stuff?

02:01:58.000 I think by the time that happens, we'll be incorporated with technology.

02:02:02.000 I think that's going to be the big leap with people.

02:02:04.000 It's going to be like, there's a biological sort of a bottleneck, that biological things can only get so good so quick, whereas technological things can get good really quick, really easy.

02:02:14.000 But if the technological thing can affect the biological thing, like, you know, you could have some fucking super chip in your brain that allows you to get 5G Wi-Fi everywhere.

02:02:26.000 Sure. 0.93

02:02:27.000 That's what's going to happen.

02:02:28.000 That's what I think is going to be the big change.

02:02:31.000 We're going to look back on people that were normal biological people.

02:02:34.000 It almost feels like it's all going too fast now.

02:02:36.000 It is.

02:02:36.000 We said like 20 years ago, I mean, like, you know, we had, look at what an iPod, and we saw an iPod now, you'd be like, look at that thing, it's And now, but like, if you took somebody from, I don't know, 1600, and then dropped them off in 1700, not much of their life would look different.

02:02:52.000 Like, oh, we still got ships, we got no planes, we still got disease, we still got the, maybe little things, but not, now it's like, you go in a coma for 10 years.

02:03:00.000 When Jerry came out of prison 20 years later, he was like, the cars were going so fast, the phones, he didn't know anything.

02:03:07.000 And that was just 20 years of being incarcerated.

02:03:10.000 And I think about that, like, how fast can it go?

02:03:15.000 I mean, anything, right?

02:03:16.000 The train goes off the tracks when it goes too fast.

02:03:18.000 So I think about that.

02:03:19.000 I don't have any clue at all how to stop it, what to do.

02:03:23.000 Nobody does.

02:03:24.000 I'm just like, try to listen to the smart people, see what they say.

02:03:27.000 I think it's a natural function of progression, that everything gets more complex.

02:03:31.000 If you look at the beginning of the universe to now, like, it seems like everything just keeps getting more complex.

02:03:37.000 Right.

02:03:38.000 Like, if you look at, like, the universe starts with the Big Bang, allegedly.

02:03:42.000 So that's the beginning.

02:03:44.000 And from then, everything expands.

02:03:46.000 And from supernovas, the carbon gets created.

02:03:49.000 Like literally from a star exploding, the carbon gets created that makes human beings.

02:03:53.000 So something happens.

02:03:54.000 And then from that thing happens, this one thing emerges that can change, like consciously decide to make changes to the environment around it to the point where it gets to the point where it can literally nuke every man, woman, and child off the face of the earth if it wanted to in one day.

02:04:11.000 Right.

02:04:11.000 It could kill everything.

02:04:12.000 Make the entire world unpopulable.

02:04:16.000 That's not a word.

02:04:17.000 What's the word I'm working for?

02:04:19.000 What's the word?

02:04:20.000 Unhabitable?

02:04:21.000 Uninhabitable.

02:04:22.000 I'm like unpopulable.

02:04:23.000 That's not even a word.

02:04:24.000 I'm using that tonight in a sentence.

02:04:25.000 It seems like... 1.00

02:04:27.000 Things keep getting more complex from the beginning of the first wheel to this guy figures out how to put a fucking leather tire on it to what we have today to Teslas to some shit in the future that's autonomous and just rides on your fucking brainwaves. 0.99

02:04:43.000 Tell it in your head where you want to go and it just takes you there. 0.99

02:04:47.000 There's no more accidents anymore.

02:04:49.000 We look back on accidents as a tragic, barbaric thing of the past, like horseback injuries.

02:04:55.000 If that becomes a thing in our lifetime, it's going to change everything.

02:04:59.000 If you're not allowed to drive anymore, if these things drive you, and then if the government gets to decide whether they can shut off your driving thing, that's just one part of it.

02:05:08.000 And what if you become incorporated with that thing?

02:05:11.000 What if that thing becomes almost like an extension of you as a human being?

02:05:16.000 Because you're electronically connected to it through it.

02:05:18.000 Yeah, and then you might think like, oh, well then I'll be alive forever, but that might be like a tormentful thing, a tormented soul.

02:05:26.000 It could easily be that.

02:05:27.000 The big fear with me is that someone comes to the conclusion, or nature comes to the conclusion, that emotions are problematic.

02:05:35.000 Because although they create great energy, and emotions create things like love, And things like creativity and the passion that someone has expressing themselves in music or in anything that we enjoy.

02:05:50.000 You see that.

02:05:51.000 A part of that is emotion, right?

02:05:53.000 When Jazz Joplin singing, Take a Little Piece of My Heart Out, that song, you feel emotion in that.

02:06:01.000 What if we decide that emotion is what's causing all the war, emotion is causing all the rejection, What if you could just interface with things in a pure data-driven way,

02:06:18.000 where you don't have to worry anymore?

02:06:19.000 There's no more worry.

02:06:21.000 Yeah, or that's also like, I think if you remove the emotion, that's how you get control.

02:06:26.000 I mean, it seems like, you know, Hitler, all these people, they kill the artists first, they kill the creative people first, because if you can think rationally outside the box, then it's more difficult to control. 0.79

02:06:35.000 That's why, when I'm actually listening to your, I think it was, is it Michael Pollard, Michael?

02:06:39.000 Michael Pollan.

02:06:40.000 That guy, I've been watching, going down the rabbit hole with him, because just randomly saw it, when he said he stopped drinking coffee, For three months.

02:06:48.000 And then he's talking about the ayahuasca and something I never even thought of when he's like, you know, why are some drugs, like the drugs that can connect you to like that spirit molecule, the DMT, the ayahuasca, if then, you know, then, you know, maybe you don't fear death as much.

02:07:01.000 You're harder to control that way.

02:07:02.000 But like alcohol and other things get easier.

02:07:04.000 It dumbs you down.

02:07:05.000 Those things almost...

02:07:07.000 Could be argued make you smarter and more intellectual more intelligent So like even maybe that's what happens if you get some top person gets power and they're like I can't control them when they're so smart and connected Well, let me remove their emotions.

02:07:19.000 You know that's there's actually a book called the immortality key That's all about the use of psychedelic drugs in ancient Greece and how the authorities at the time the people in power at the time shut down and that the I think it was Was it the Pope?

02:07:35.000 Who was it that shut it down?

02:07:39.000 I forget who initially...

02:07:40.000 That shut down what?

02:07:41.000 They shut down these psychedelic ceremonies that they were doing.

02:07:44.000 Okay, and you're talking BC times?

02:07:46.000 In ancient Greece.

02:07:46.000 Ancient Greece, okay.

02:07:47.000 And so there's this guy named Brian Mirror Rescue, and he wrote this book called The Immortality Key, and he came on to talk about it.

02:07:53.000 And one of the things they found was through these ancient vessels, like pottery vessels, that there was residue of psychedelic substances that was mixed in with the wine.

02:08:04.000 Wow.

02:08:05.000 Yeah, so, like, how do you say, what is the expression, Eleusinian mysteries?

02:08:10.000 I think that's how you say it.

02:08:12.000 Yes, Eleusis.

02:08:14.000 It's a weird word, though, Eleusinian.

02:08:15.000 It doesn't sound, even when I'm saying it right, it sounds like I'm saying it wrong.

02:08:17.000 We should just pick a new word for it, just make it easier.

02:08:19.000 But these people, like, intellectuals of the time, would make a trek.

02:08:25.000 There to learn and to take part in these rituals, and no one knew what these rituals were.

02:08:31.000 It's like it's hard to know exactly what they did.

02:08:34.000 And when you read the sort of cryptic descriptions of what they're leaving out when they're talking about wine, we think of wine as being wine, like go buy a nice Chardonnay.

02:08:42.000 No, that's not what wine is.

02:08:44.000 To them, wine was stuff where things were always mixed into it.

02:08:48.000 So they always...

02:08:49.000 It wasn't just grapes that were fermented.

02:08:51.000 It was grapes that are fermented, but a bunch of other stuff.

02:08:54.000 And they would throw a lot of psychedelic stuff like ergot, which is like a type of fungus that gives you an LSD-like effect. 0.99

02:09:00.000 So they were basically tripping their fucking balls off and writing...

02:09:05.000 Literally the foundations of Western democracy right they were coming up with all this stuff most likely while they were tripping right because and and and you know like when I watched listen to some other people like again I'm all new at this like the last couple of months is when I've started to really read this book because it's perfect for you because you love history and You you're also curious about this this subject read that book the immortality immortality It's opened up a field of study in Harvard His research has opened up, 0.98

02:09:32.000 and one of the things that other people that work with him have uncovered in uncovering all this evidence, they've opened up this field of study in Harvard now where they're examining whether or not these psychedelic compounds played a big part in human history.

02:09:44.000 But do you think, like when I listen to like a Graham Hancock, who again, I just discovered, you know, like, do you think though that like, let's say it's proven to be true that the psychedelics, they did do that and they have a positive effect, would the government make them legal?

02:09:57.000 Or do you believe that the government Doesn't want that stuff out there because they know how powerful it is and how much better we could get as humans because of it.

02:10:06.000 That's why I'm so kind of like thinking about doing it.

02:10:09.000 I'm like, I think like you almost need that from, again, the brief research I've done on it and just really listening to experts in the field.

02:10:17.000 Like, are you even a complete human and at the highest function form if you don't at least do that natural stuff that ancient people have been doing for years?

02:10:24.000 I mean, one of the guests said that they give shots of ayahuasca to newborn babies in some culture.

02:10:29.000 Yeah, I don't know if those cultures are doing the right thing. 1.00

02:10:32.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:10:33.000 There's cultures that fuck their kids, too. 1.00

02:10:35.000 You know, like the Papua New Guinea, the horrible shit, the semen warriors, you know that story? 1.00

02:10:40.000 Like, you can't ever say, like, a culture does it, it must be good. 0.99

02:10:42.000 Yeah.

02:10:43.000 Like, who the hell knows?

02:10:44.000 Well, I'm just saying, if there's kids...

02:10:45.000 Because I would think, if you told me...

02:10:47.000 I think you can become a good person without it.

02:10:50.000 Right.

02:10:51.000 You think meditation is key.

02:10:53.000 You think you have to be meditating.

02:10:55.000 You know, I think everybody needs a different thing.

02:10:58.000 And unfortunately, because I think it would be great if there was like one size fits all.

02:11:03.000 Like, hey, take mushrooms, you'll be a better person.

02:11:05.000 I don't think that's real.

02:11:06.000 Just like I don't think there's one diet fit all, one exercise program fit all, one interest in hobbies category that fits all.

02:11:14.000 It doesn't work. 0.59

02:11:15.000 We vary so fucking much, man. 0.94

02:11:17.000 We're the same thing, but we vary so much. 0.94

02:11:20.000 There's people that do things every day that you and I couldn't imagine doing once, and they do it every day with glee, and we're terrified of it, or we find it boring, or we're just completely uninterested.

02:11:32.000 And other people, it's their whole life.

02:11:33.000 You think you have to just accept who you are and not resist who you are?

02:11:37.000 You gotta find who you are, cultivate who you are, and in some ways you can create who you are, in that you can choose to be better at things.

02:11:46.000 Choose to be a better person, choose to be a better comedian, choose to be a better athlete.

02:11:52.000 You can choose to be better at things, and you literally change who you are.

02:11:56.000 Like, whoever Michael Jordan was before he played basketball, Is not the same guy that became Michael Jordan, the Hall of Famer, who's one of the greatest athletes of all time.

02:12:06.000 That guy became something.

02:12:07.000 He made himself, turned himself through will and effort and thought and hard work, changed who he is.

02:12:15.000 Yeah, I read this, you know, I feel like, I almost, it's weird, like, the last six months for me have almost been like, do I have, like, cancer or something like that?

02:12:24.000 Like, I have something that I don't even know about yet, where I'm gonna die, and these are, like, the last few years of my life, because I was just like, something just shifted in me, because I... I have two kids now, but when I had my first kid, you would think it'd be extremely impactful, and it was.

02:12:36.000 But now, I've been reading, trying to read so much about, not even so much history.

02:12:42.000 I do love history, but I've been trying to read other stuff.

02:12:46.000 I just read this book, The Five Things You Must Know Before You Die by John Izzo, and he interviewed We're good to go.

02:13:14.000 You're God at all.

02:13:15.000 The guy on his deathbed, he was like, I wish I was surrounded by my family instead of my BMWs.

02:13:23.000 That's what I see on my window.

02:13:24.000 I don't care about them.

02:13:25.000 I wish my family was here.

02:13:27.000 And they all said the same thing.

02:13:30.000 It's not about...

02:13:32.000 All these people said, it's not about failing.

02:13:35.000 Everyone's going to fail.

02:13:36.000 All the people who are angry at the end of their life never took a chance to fail.

02:13:43.000 They never faced the failure.

02:13:44.000 They just said, I'm not going to do it.

02:13:46.000 And they lived their life comfortably.

02:13:47.000 And now they're on their deathbed being like, I would give anything back to do it.

02:13:52.000 The people who took all these chances and failed, a lot of them people were on their deathbeds almost penniless.

02:13:57.000 But Joy is so happy because they took so many opportunities and they failed at all of them.

02:14:02.000 Some people failed at like 90% of what they tried.

02:14:06.000 And they were so happy because at least they took the chance to do it.

02:14:10.000 And I was like, wow, there's a lot of things that I've done in my life.

02:14:15.000 There's a lot of things I have tried, like comedy and getting a doctorate degree and all that stuff.

02:14:20.000 I was like, oh, wow, I did that.

02:14:22.000 But then there's a lot of things I haven't because I was just – and I'm like, man, listening to these people, it's like just try – Safely try everything that you can and I wasn't like that like six months ago I was very like I'm just gonna do comedy that's what I want to do I'm in the comedy zone I do this and now I'm like into real estate now I'm into you know trying to get into even though I'm about to be 38 I'm like I can start MMA now I've always wanted to it's always been a thing in me like how come you don't know how to defend yourself I'm starting to

02:14:52.000 try to do that I'm starting to try to you know get out here and like you know learn More about psychedelics.

02:15:00.000 I almost feel like I can't stop myself from doing psychedelics.

02:15:03.000 It's going to happen.

02:15:05.000 Six months ago, I'd be like, I'm terrified.

02:15:07.000 What if my heart stops?

02:15:08.000 And now I'm like, well, if I take a psychedelic and my heart stops, then I'll just continue on with whatever the next part of my existence might be.

02:15:14.000 The thing is, nobody could tell you what's going to happen.

02:15:16.000 That's why it's so weird.

02:15:17.000 But it's probably a part of why humans became humans.

02:15:21.000 Right.

02:15:21.000 I mean, there's a guy named Terence McKenna who had a theory about the evolution of man, and it involved mushrooms.

02:15:28.000 We call it the stoned ape theory.

02:15:29.000 And the stoned ape theory is about how there's a giant leap in human brain size.

02:15:35.000 It's like one of the most confusing things in the entire fossil record.

02:15:39.000 Because the human brain size, I think it more than doubles over a period of two million years.

02:15:46.000 And they have no idea why.

02:15:48.000 They don't know why.

02:15:49.000 They have guesses.

02:15:51.000 Cooked food.

02:15:53.000 Some of them they think might be throwing things.

02:15:56.000 They figured out how to throw things and they created weapons and weapon makers.

02:15:59.000 Why?

02:16:00.000 Because you could safely be away from an animal or something like that?

02:16:02.000 Yeah, so you can hunt things that you weren't exactly close to.

02:16:05.000 But it doesn't make sense that that would make your brain grow that fast.

02:16:08.000 The thing that McKenna said was that if you look at the timeline of when humans, their brains grew, it's at the same time where the rainforests were receding into grasslands.

02:16:22.000 And so when the rainforests were receding into grasslands, there was a lot of undulates, like cow-type creatures.

02:16:28.000 And a lot of the primates came down from the trees and they would flip over cow patties and find like beetles and bugs and worms and shit to eat.

02:16:37.000 And on the top of cow patties were often mushrooms.

02:16:40.000 And he thinks it's very reasonable to assume they would have experimented with those mushrooms to see if they're edible.

02:16:46.000 And one of the things you find when you do eat psilocybin, which is very common in cow shit, psilocybin in low doses increases visual acuity, which means you can see things better, which would make you a better hunter.

02:16:58.000 And they've proven this with the, there was a guy, I forget the guy's name, but he was a psychologist that, I think it was a psychologist.

02:17:03.000 And he did these studies on psilocybin and edge detection, meaning that if you took 100 random people and gave 50 of them psilocybin and 50 of them nothing, the ones that took the psilocybin could detect, if you had two parallel lines,

02:17:19.000 if the line moved off the parallel, the ones who were on psilocybin could detect it quicker.

02:17:25.000 So it changes the way you see things.

02:17:27.000 It makes you horny in low doses.

02:17:30.000 It brings about a sense of community and creativity, and it might even encourage the creation of language.

02:17:35.000 And his brother Dennis explained that, but I'm not gonna butcher that, but he actually explained it on my podcast, why the way psilocybin interacts with human neurochemistry would encourage the creation of language.

02:17:48.000 So if that's the case, it's these primates experimenting with mushrooms, Accelerated our development far beyond what it would have been if we hadn't done that.

02:17:59.000 Interesting.

02:18:00.000 Yeah, I feel like there's almost no way that those types of drugs weren't a huge impact in our development.

02:18:08.000 I also think distractions were a lot lower, probably, back then.

02:18:13.000 And like, you know, like Great Pyramid stuff, when I listen to all these great thinkers talk about it, I'm like, but also, like, maybe feats like that would be impossible now because of distractions and unions and this and that.

02:18:25.000 But back then, it's like if I told you you need to get that brick in that right place or you're going to get whipped or killed, you would have a higher chance of doing it.

02:18:35.000 Yeah, you'd just get whipped or killed.

02:18:37.000 I don't think it was about, like, forcing people to do it as much as it is about skilled labor.

02:18:44.000 They just have recently decided, I think it was within the last couple of decades, that those people that worked in the pyramids were probably well-paid.

02:18:51.000 And they found camps, like the type of food that they ate, and they think it was skilled labor. 0.97

02:19:00.000 But the problem is they don't have any fucking idea how they did it. 0.75

02:19:04.000 The craziest thing about it is the technology that exists to move that stuff, there's no evidence of it. 0.96

02:19:11.000 The pyramids were almost like, if you wanted to prove that civilization gets to extreme heights and then gets reset, you would have to leave behind something that would defy time.

02:19:26.000 And the only thing that you're really going to leave behind that defies time is made out of stone, and it's huge.

02:19:31.000 And that's what they did.

02:19:32.000 They made something that defied our current understanding of construction.

02:19:39.000 Because if you ask people, could you build the pyramid today, there's a lot of people that will arrogantly say, yes, of course we could build the pyramid, of course we could do it today.

02:19:48.000 It's not that easy.

02:19:50.000 Maybe people could do it today.

02:19:52.000 But you have to think about people doing it 4,000, 5,000, 6,000 years ago. 0.98

02:19:57.000 How the fuck did they do it then? 0.67

02:19:59.000 There's 2,300,000 stones. 0.99

02:20:03.000 They're cut so perfectly that they come to a fucking point at the top. 0.98

02:20:08.000 And it points on each corner to true north, south, east, and west. 0.99

02:20:13.000 Right. 1.00

02:20:14.000 2,300,000 fucking stones! 0.99

02:20:17.000 Some of them are from quarries that were hundreds of miles away. 1.00

02:20:21.000 Bro, it's nuts!

02:20:22.000 Is your opinion then that maybe psilocybin and things like that were involved in this type of stuff?

02:20:29.000 I think we are arrogant to assume that this is the greatest height that humanity has ever reached.

02:20:36.000 Yeah, I agree with that.

02:20:37.000 I think those things point to a humanity that existed or a civilization that existed that was way more complex than we understand.

02:20:46.000 And I think something happened.

02:20:48.000 And because of the Graham Hancock podcast and A guy named Randall Carlson who I've had on.

02:20:52.000 I've been introduced to the Younger Dryas Impact Theory.

02:20:55.000 And the Younger Dryas Impact Theory coincides with the end of the Ice Age.

02:20:59.000 And there's a lot of physical evidence that somewhere around like, I think it was more than one time, but from an area of like 12,000 years ago up until like 11,000 years-ish, the Earth probably got hit multiple times by a comet shower. 0.91

02:21:13.000 We probably got fucked up.

02:21:15.000 And the way they find it is they do core samples. 0.99

02:21:17.000 They fight iridium, and it's all around that same area of time.

02:21:21.000 When they get into that 12,000 and 10,000 years, there's a lot of iridium, which is really common in space and really rare on Earth.

02:21:28.000 And they find nuclear glass. 0.95

02:21:30.000 It's this shit that they find when they do nuclear test blasts. 0.99

02:21:34.000 And it also happens when asteroids hit. 0.99

02:21:36.000 So they found this stuff also in that same time period.

02:21:40.000 So they're like, I think Earth got lit up and it probably killed a large percentage of the population.

02:21:45.000 Do you think there are people in this world, in this country, like groups of people that know for a fact some of these things that we debate daily?

02:21:53.000 No, they're trying to figure that out.

02:21:55.000 They're trying to figure that out.

02:21:56.000 No one knows for a fact.

02:21:58.000 You don't know for a fact what happened 12,000 years ago, but you could look at a lot of evidence.

02:22:01.000 The Randall Carlson evidence is really fascinating because it literally coincides with the end of the Ice Age and a rapid death of a large percentage of animals in North America.

02:22:13.000 Including humans.

02:22:14.000 Yeah, but not all of us.

02:22:15.000 We lived, right?

02:22:16.000 But that coincides with the end of the mammoth.

02:22:21.000 It coincides with the end of the saber-toothed tiger.

02:22:24.000 All those animals get wiped out.

02:22:26.000 Something around 65% of all the megafauna gets wiped out.

02:22:31.000 Well, we might be in a place where we could, or at least our kids will know.

02:22:35.000 Like when Lewis and Clark embarked on their Lewis and Clark expedition, nobody from America had been any further really west of, I think, Ohio.

02:22:44.000 So they were like, maybe the end of the earth is there.

02:22:47.000 They thought Lewis and Clark were fully, they packed tools like we might encounter dinosaurs.

02:22:51.000 And that That was just 200 years ago.

02:22:53.000 They genuinely thought like there's a possibility there's a brontosaurus out there because we didn't have any of this info yet and that was only 200 plus years ago.

02:23:00.000 So we could be in this crossroads now where it's like because what you said too is interesting when you're like oh we always think we're at the height of society like you know in Lincoln's time or right before Lincoln like you know talking about like a like a president's sex life or or Were they gay?

02:23:18.000 Were they straight?

02:23:19.000 None of that was a scandal.

02:23:20.000 It was accepted.

02:23:21.000 End of Roman Empire.

02:23:22.000 It was all acceptable.

02:23:26.000 Nobody had an issue with it.

02:23:27.000 But you would think, though, oh, now we're the most progressive.

02:23:30.000 And it's like, no, I think they were progressive back then.

02:23:33.000 It goes in cycles.

02:23:34.000 I think it does go in cycles.

02:23:35.000 And, you know, another thing to take into consideration is how long the stuff that we have that we rely on on a day-to-day basis would last if we weren't around.

02:23:44.000 Right.

02:23:44.000 So, like, our phones.

02:23:46.000 Like, I was just in Detroit, right?

02:23:48.000 Okay.

02:23:48.000 So, Detroit is a great example because Detroit fell apart in, I guess, it was the 80s when it all went down.

02:23:55.000 The destruction of Detroit, and then you look at the homes that have been overtaken by trees.

02:24:00.000 Right away.

02:24:00.000 It's wild, dude.

02:24:01.000 Like trees popping through the roof of a house.

02:24:04.000 Right.

02:24:04.000 And there's a lot of them.

02:24:05.000 And that's only 40 years ago.

02:24:07.000 Exactly.

02:24:07.000 So how long do you think your phone would be around if you just left it in the dirt?

02:24:12.000 If your phone got covered by dirt, the earth would consume it in a few hundred years for sure.

02:24:17.000 Yeah.

02:24:17.000 There would be no evidence.

02:24:18.000 So now imagine 5,000 years.

02:24:20.000 Yeah.

02:24:20.000 So if we're going back to the time where we think they made the Great Pyramid of Giza, which is like 2500 BC-ish, somewhere around then, it's a lot of estimates.

02:24:31.000 But that, who the fuck knows what they had? 0.69

02:24:35.000 It's not going to be here. 0.98

02:24:36.000 Yeah.

02:24:36.000 Or like I saw on the news the other day, there's a potential doorway on Mars.

02:24:43.000 And it's like, how do you know?

02:24:45.000 Who knows what the hell that is? 0.99

02:24:46.000 Didn't we wreck a bunch of shit on Mars, though? 0.99

02:24:48.000 They've sent a bunch of satellites up there. 0.99

02:24:50.000 Did you see what I'm talking about?

02:24:52.000 I didn't read it, though.

02:24:54.000 They said it was like a door into a room.

02:24:58.000 What?!

02:25:00.000 Yeah.

02:25:00.000 That can't be real.

02:25:01.000 I mean, they said it's zoomed in and it's just like a natural rock formation. 1.00

02:25:05.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

02:25:05.000 They're lying to us. 1.00

02:25:06.000 I know.

02:25:06.000 The Egyptians.

02:25:07.000 Right?

02:25:07.000 Let me see.

02:25:08.000 Is that the only image of it?

02:25:09.000 Yeah.

02:25:09.000 Bro, that could not look more man-made.

02:25:12.000 More man-made.

02:25:12.000 Because it's like, if that was a million years of being untouched, I mean, like, if we got an asteroid, it all got wiped out today, and a million years from now, there would be no evidence of anything.

02:25:22.000 We would be miles underneath the Earth.

02:25:24.000 So, like, why couldn't that happen in Mars?

02:25:25.000 Maybe God is hilarious, and God's like, I got an idea.

02:25:28.000 I'm going to leave behind a fake door on Mars.

02:25:31.000 Yeah, just leave.

02:25:32.000 That looks so much like a compound.

02:25:34.000 Like, that looks like something from Star Wars, where, like, you know, you land on the planet.

02:25:38.000 If you had the opportunity, would you go to Mars? 0.99

02:25:41.000 Fuck no. 1.00

02:25:42.000 Because I feel like Mars is like, whatever, it's just like going to Arizona. 1.00

02:25:45.000 I would want to go...

02:25:46.000 Dude, I don't even want to go to the desert.

02:25:47.000 Why would I want to go to another whole desert planet?

02:25:49.000 Yeah, I don't even...

02:25:50.000 If you gave me a free chance to even go into space, I just don't...

02:25:53.000 I have no...

02:25:53.000 I have zero desire to do it.

02:25:55.000 I might be interested in going into space just so I could get the perspective of looking down on the Earth from orbit.

02:26:00.000 I think it must be wild.

02:26:02.000 I think that must be wild.

02:26:03.000 I think, because astronauts talk about it.

02:26:05.000 They're pretty unanimous in it, that it's a life-changing perspective enhancer, that you see the Earth from above, and then the whole idea of, like, countries and war and, like...

02:26:15.000 Separated by borders seems so insane.

02:26:18.000 When you're like way above it looking down, you're like, oh my god, most of our problems would be solved if we didn't think in terms of borders and we didn't have groups of people that control massive groups of people.

02:26:28.000 Because all they want to do is profit off controlling massive groups of people. 1.00

02:26:31.000 Then you get totalitarian governments like China and North Korea and And then the people are fucking entrapped in this ideology and you're fucked. 1.00

02:26:39.000 And you look up down and you're like, this is nuts. 0.99

02:26:41.000 We got like hives of people that are living in these patches of dirt that think for some reason they have a dispute with people they've never even met, which is insane.

02:26:50.000 It's lines on a map.

02:26:51.000 I mean, listen, I love, you know, being an American, but I will, I will tell you like, Five years ago, my sense of patriotism was a lot stronger than it is now. 0.99

02:26:58.000 Not that I love this country any less, but I'm like, it's stupid. 0.98

02:27:01.000 I was just biologically born here. 1.00

02:27:03.000 It's just like a lottery ball coming out.

02:27:05.000 I could have been born anywhere.

02:27:06.000 Yes, but look, Earth could be all like the best aspect of America is what my point is.

02:27:13.000 Yeah.

02:27:13.000 It's not that America is awesome and only awesome.

02:27:15.000 It's that if everyone had as much freedom as we have in America, the world would be a better place.

02:27:21.000 And if we could get what is wrong with America sorted out, solve all the inequity, solve all the inequality, solve all the bullshit with horrible, displaced communities where they have no hope, fix these real problems that we have here at home, 0.95

02:27:37.000 It's kind of crazy how much time we put into other things, like outside of America, when you look at how fucked some of the cities in America are. 0.95

02:27:45.000 Or look at it, we're sending billions of dollars to Ukraine, Russia, and there's no formula on the shelves in CVS. I mean, I don't know where that fucking money's coming from. 0.99

02:27:54.000 Like, I wish I understood how they allocate money to problems, because if you don't think there's enough problems in America to allocate money... 0.99

02:28:02.000 If they're not paying attention to what the fuck is going on in Chicago, the crazy amount of gunfire that they have in the south side of Chicago, that is wild. 0.97

02:28:10.000 It's wild. 1.00

02:28:11.000 And that's just going to keep going?

02:28:12.000 It's a full war zone.

02:28:13.000 I think that, again, I don't know.

02:28:18.000 I think the powers that be, whoever that is, there's just a lot of money in keeping us divided, a lot of money in keeping us angry.

02:28:24.000 That's why the media cherry-picks stories to make problems way bigger than they appear.

02:28:29.000 We see it nightly in comedy clubs.

02:28:31.000 I mean, what do you got?

02:28:31.000 You got a bunch of different people, different ideologies, races, religions, cultures, creeds, just laughing or not laughing in unison.

02:28:38.000 Yeah, that's more natural, honestly.

02:28:40.000 But the problem is it's profitable.

02:28:42.000 If they have a horrible story that pisses everybody off, everybody's going to click on it.

02:28:45.000 But don't you think, though, we're at a point now where I would blindly believe the news just right before the pandemic, I would blindly believe them.

02:28:57.000 But now I think most people don't.

02:28:59.000 Most people know it's like this is like a talk show, like CNN and Fox News.

02:29:04.000 Well, it's way more dangerous than a talk show because it's funded.

02:29:16.000 Right.

02:29:30.000 We don't get that from the one thing if you're gonna listen to Fox News or you're gonna listen to CNN you're gonna get Ideologically driven yes information right depending on who the source is which anchor it is is talking But you're gonna get it from the right on Fox. 0.98

02:29:44.000 You're gonna get it from the left on What about what about if someone just tells the fucking truth?

02:29:49.000 I agree those don't exist on television anymore not anymore No, I kind of, it's more on the internet or like these other places. 0.95

02:29:56.000 Like, it's kind of like, you know, the CNN and Fox News.

02:29:58.000 It's like, you know, it's chain food.

02:30:00.000 It's TGI Fridays, whereas like the best food is the mom and pop places.

02:30:02.000 And that's where I try to focus if I'm going to look at the news.

02:30:06.000 I've tried actually, though, I think, you know.

02:30:08.000 There's an obligation, of course, to be informed.

02:30:10.000 I think just being a person, being a comic, whatever.

02:30:12.000 But I really, really, really, I mean, with, I would say most of my energy, you know, trying to lose that anxiety, most of my energy every fucking day, even more than physical at the gym, more than anything else, has been trying, trying with literally every cell in my body every day to get off or to limit myself from social media because I believe in my heart that it is as bad for you I've

02:30:48.000 been off Twitter for nine days now.

02:30:52.000 I still have somebody tweet for me.

02:30:54.000 I send them what I want to be said in my videos or wherever I'm going to be, promos, but I don't look at it.

02:30:59.000 And just in nine days, I feel You know, I'm silly.

02:31:03.000 You know, when I go start the podcast, oh, I hate myself. 0.58

02:31:06.000 There's a silliness to that.

02:31:07.000 It's just me.

02:31:08.000 But genuinely, honestly, truthfully, gun to my head, I feel, in just nine days, like, incredibly, so much happier.

02:31:17.000 Because just a couple of...

02:31:19.000 It just takes one or two to get past the goalie, and then it hurts you.

02:31:22.000 I mean...

02:31:22.000 Yeah.

02:31:23.000 You know, when you see things about, like, your comedy, your look...

02:31:27.000 You're this, you're that, how you are, what they heard you say on this podcast.

02:31:30.000 It's painful to hear any negative response.

02:31:32.000 So I used to think, oh, I have to take it all in.

02:31:34.000 If you want to keep progressing in this career, you got to take the positives and the negatives.

02:31:38.000 And I'm like, why do I have to do that?

02:31:39.000 I'm only going to live once.

02:31:40.000 I just want people to say positive things or hear positive things about me.

02:31:43.000 I know what I'm doing wrong.

02:31:45.000 I can self critique and I can have members of my family or close friend group tell me something.

02:31:51.000 I've tried to make a point now to make like a real fundamental decision to be like, I'm not going to let someone I don't know that I've never met influence my behavior or my mentality at all, including politicians or newscasters.

02:32:03.000 I don't care because I'm like, I don't know them. 1.00

02:32:05.000 Oh, so-and-so is an idiot. 1.00

02:32:07.000 I'm like, yeah, I don't know. 1.00

02:32:08.000 Like you said, it could have been edited.

02:32:09.000 The video is edited.

02:32:10.000 I'm like, I've never met any president or politician or newscaster.

02:32:14.000 I care about what my dad thinks of me, what my girl thinks of me.

02:32:18.000 I'm trying to just focus on that, and I've gotten noticeably happier in just less than two weeks.

02:32:24.000 But you have to understand, when we're talking about social media, what you're experiencing is very unusual.

02:32:30.000 It's not regular social media.

02:32:31.000 You're experiencing social media where thousands and thousands of strangers are judging you.

02:32:36.000 So when you talk about that, if you tell the average person social media is bad for you, They're like, well, I'm just reading stuff.

02:32:43.000 What's the big deal?

02:32:43.000 That's true.

02:32:44.000 It's bad for you when it's negative.

02:32:46.000 And the problem with anything that anyone's doing in the public eye is you're going to get a certain percentage of negative.

02:32:51.000 And whether it's 10 to 1 or 100 to 1, that 1 that sneaks through is going to freak you out more than the 100 that love you.

02:32:58.000 It still even hurts you at your level.

02:33:00.000 If you see 1, it hurts.

02:33:01.000 You don't like it.

02:33:02.000 It's not nice to see that someone dislikes you enough to state it publicly.

02:33:06.000 Nobody likes that.

02:33:07.000 And if you do like it, there's probably something wrong with you.

02:33:10.000 You shouldn't like that someone doesn't like you.

02:33:13.000 That's weird.

02:33:13.000 It's like a defense mechanism.

02:33:15.000 But the point is, is that that's an incredibly Unusual position to be in, that doesn't exist in nature.

02:33:24.000 Like there's one person and this person doesn't know all those other people, but all those other people are watching all the stuff that they do?

02:33:30.000 That's crazy. 0.99

02:33:31.000 That is fucking insane. 0.99

02:33:33.000 Like that position, the position to be in, like a person like yourself, that's putting stuff out on social media, No one knows how to handle that. 0.99

02:33:40.000 Because it's not natural.

02:33:42.000 No one has it. 0.98

02:33:43.000 They can talk all that shit they want, but no one gets to that spot except the people who get to that spot. 0.99

02:33:49.000 So whether it's you or whether it's fucking Giannis or Chris Rock or whoever the fuck posts on Twitter and reads all the stuff that people are saying about them. 0.99

02:33:59.000 You're letting your fucking state of mind be influenced by untold millions of people randomly, which is not a good gamble. 0.99

02:34:07.000 I think, yeah, because that's a good point, which, again, didn't think of. 1.00

02:34:11.000 It's not a solid gamble.

02:34:12.000 Because I only now, I mean, doing comedy, whatever, 12 years, but only now am I starting to sell out shows and theaters and get recognized.

02:34:18.000 And get hated more now.

02:34:20.000 So I wasn't ready for it.

02:34:21.000 I thought people liked me, you know?

02:34:25.000 They do.

02:34:26.000 Because people have always been like, oh, Chris, you're a nice guy, whatever, you're a therapist, you're gay. 1.00

02:34:29.000 You are.

02:34:29.000 You're a nice guy.

02:34:30.000 I don't know if you're gay. 0.99

02:34:31.000 I think your therapist might be gay for you. 0.98

02:34:32.000 But then, I've hooked up with my therapist. 1.00

02:34:34.000 But then, on social media, especially when I put the special out on Netflix, because now I'm outside my podcast fan base, now it's like, Your comedy sucks. 0.97

02:34:43.000 Right, right, right. 1.00

02:34:44.000 You suck. 1.00

02:34:44.000 You're a storyteller. 1.00

02:34:45.000 You stick to podcasts.

02:34:47.000 All that.

02:34:47.000 And I was like, I don't like that.

02:34:49.000 And then I had this conflict inside me where I was like, am I a pussy for getting off Twitter because I don't want to see that? 1.00

02:34:54.000 Am I a pussy? 1.00

02:34:55.000 And then I kind of just made my own decision where I was like... 1.00

02:34:58.000 No, I just don't want to deal with it.

02:34:59.000 It was hurting me too much.

02:35:01.000 I'm still going to keep going with my career, and I understand in the public eye, you get more.

02:35:04.000 But I was like, I don't need to see it at that level every second of every day.

02:35:08.000 You don't need to see it.

02:35:09.000 You are a self-critical person.

02:35:11.000 And, you know, there's good in that, and, you know, that can get away from you, too.

02:35:14.000 I mean, at a certain point in time, you've just got to appreciate the moment of life and don't be even too self-critical.

02:35:21.000 You only have so much time in a day, and the way I always describe it is this way.

02:35:24.000 I said, if your entire consciousness, everything that you're capable of thinking of, is like a bandwidth, like you have a hundred units of these things, and then you take 30 units. 0.51

02:35:34.000 I have friends that have killed a fucking vacation because they went on Twitter, they read something that someone said about them, and then they clicked on an article and read the article, and then wrote a response article. 0.99

02:35:47.000 So they're in fucking Hawaii with their family. 1.00

02:35:50.000 Their family's out by the pool, having a good time. 1.00

02:35:53.000 They're in the hotel room going, oh yeah, well fuck you. 1.00

02:35:56.000 And this guy is brilliant, by the way. 1.00

02:35:59.000 It's insanity, the idea that people could think that that's healthy.

02:36:03.000 If you are putting your staff out there, and you're clearly doing that, you're going to have criticism.

02:36:09.000 You're going to have a certain amount of it.

02:36:10.000 But you can't expect the normal mind of a human being Which is what you have and what I have.

02:36:18.000 Just a normal mind. 0.99

02:36:20.000 To comprehend what the fuck it's like to get criticism from a million people. 0.99

02:36:25.000 You can't comprehend it. 0.99

02:36:26.000 It's too crazy.

02:36:27.000 I mean, because back in the day, it's like even if you were going to get criticized, it's like it was just by the people in your village.

02:36:32.000 You know what I mean?

02:36:32.000 Nobody knew you.

02:36:33.000 But you're not trying to be criticized by the people in your village.

02:36:35.000 That's where it's interesting.

02:36:36.000 Because you're trying to be criticized by the whole world.

02:36:39.000 That's what you do when you put something out there.

02:36:41.000 So you can't be shocked, but don't digest it.

02:36:44.000 You can't have it in your life.

02:36:46.000 I'm trying to be proactive about it and be like, okay, if this is going to happen, if the career is going to go the way I want it to, then here's what I'm going to do to try to protect myself.

02:36:54.000 The people that I know that are on Twitter all the time, they get in disputes that wound up keeping them up at night.

02:36:59.000 They go crazy, and they'll tell me about it.

02:37:01.000 You know, I couldn't fucking sleep, and then I got so upset, and I'm reading the replies, and I'm replying to them, and I can't wait to see how they replied to my reply. 0.83

02:37:10.000 I'm like, bro, this is not real. 0.88

02:37:12.000 You're not at a war.

02:37:13.000 This is like some weird, it's like you're sending evil notes on passenger pigeons back and forth to each other.

02:37:20.000 This is so You made it all up.

02:37:22.000 Well, that's why I think having children is such a blessing because nature takes me out of it. 0.99

02:37:28.000 It'd be like, hey, you're going to miss your kid's first step because somebody said your bits sucked. 0.96

02:37:36.000 You can't read that stuff. 0.98

02:37:38.000 No, no, no.

02:37:38.000 It doesn't mean that you shouldn't think that criticism is important because it is important.

02:37:43.000 Oh, sure.

02:37:44.000 But you can't just digest it all day long.

02:37:47.000 It's like eating...

02:37:48.000 Sugar or something like that.

02:37:49.000 So you can't just do it all day long.

02:37:50.000 It's not good for you.

02:37:51.000 Well, I think in life it's best to keep your counsel small.

02:37:55.000 I feel like a lot of successful people, they've got a small group of people that they talk to.

02:37:59.000 You know what I mean?

02:38:00.000 But I guess that could get slippery, too, because you don't want to get surrounded by yes-men. 0.92

02:38:03.000 You don't want to be surrounded by yes-men, but you have to be, first of all, the type of person that can't be surrounded by yes-men. 0.97

02:38:08.000 You're going to understand yourself what's bullshit and what's real. 0.97

02:38:11.000 You have to be self-analytical. 0.98

02:38:14.000 You have to be self-critical. 0.99

02:38:15.000 You have to have a certain amount of introspective curiosity where you really want to know what the fuck you're doing. 0.95

02:38:20.000 You're doing things wrong. 0.97

02:38:21.000 You've got to be able to apologize.

02:38:22.000 That's the other thing.

02:38:23.000 You can't be stuck in bad decisions that you've made.

02:38:27.000 You've got to be able to say that was a bad decision.

02:38:30.000 One of the biggest things that holds people up is the inability to admit they were wrong. 0.92

02:38:35.000 It fucks people up, man, because they don't grow. 0.75

02:38:37.000 Oh my God. 0.99

02:38:38.000 You hit that on the head because I, the people, I got a person in my life that I've I've never once in my life seen them apologize for anything or I've never once seen them when they get told that they're wrong.

02:38:54.000 Just accept it.

02:38:56.000 I was in a store once and he was talking about hockey and he goes, oh yeah, it was the fourth quarter of the hockey game.

02:39:02.000 And the guy was like, oh, hockey's only got three periods.

02:39:05.000 He was like, no, it doesn't.

02:39:05.000 It's got four quarters.

02:39:06.000 And you're like, what?

02:39:08.000 Of course.

02:39:08.000 And he wouldn't accept it.

02:39:10.000 And I was like...

02:39:11.000 Man, there's no way that, like you said, there's no way that guy grows.

02:39:14.000 I feel like one thing I want to make sure my kids always know how to do is say they're sorry and have the courage to admit, hey, I was completely wrong.

02:39:21.000 More than that, this is what I tell my kids, lying in itself robs you of your ability to think about things and get better at things.

02:39:29.000 If you choose to never lie, then it's off the table.

02:39:33.000 Now, if you do choose to do that and you're dealing with any kind of situation, you can learn better.

02:39:38.000 Right.

02:39:39.000 Because you're not lying to yourself.

02:39:41.000 Right. 1.00

02:39:41.000 The people that lie suck. 1.00

02:39:44.000 They suck at whatever they do. 1.00

02:39:45.000 Of course. 0.99

02:39:45.000 Like that guy, I guarantee that guy never gets good at things. 0.99

02:39:48.000 No, he stinks. 0.96

02:39:49.000 Exactly. 0.98

02:39:49.000 At everything he does. 0.98

02:39:50.000 You can't get good at stuff if you're full of shit. 1.00

02:39:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:39:53.000 It's like the painful truth of being incorrect is far superior than deluding yourself with some fucking belief that you're never wrong. 1.00

02:40:03.000 Right. 0.97

02:40:03.000 Because that's what everybody wants. 0.97

02:40:05.000 Being right is awesome.

02:40:06.000 Even when we're joking around about stuff about the podcast, and I go, Jamie, look that up.

02:40:10.000 And he looks it up and turns out to be true. 0.85

02:40:11.000 I'm like, aha!

02:40:12.000 Yeah.

02:40:12.000 But when he looks it up and it turns out to be wrong, I'm like, oh, really?

02:40:15.000 Yeah.

02:40:15.000 I thought it was...

02:40:16.000 Fuck! 1.00

02:40:17.000 That's not a good feeling. 1.00

02:40:18.000 So people avoid that feeling.

02:40:20.000 And actually, Benjamin Franklin said the reason why George Washington was the man who he was and why he was able to get the country out of the mess is because he was not...

02:40:30.000 He would retreat. 0.99

02:40:31.000 He would realize, I fucked up. 0.99

02:40:33.000 I just put this... 0.98

02:40:35.000 Soldiers in a bad position. 0.99

02:40:36.000 I'll look like a dick in the press. 0.99

02:40:38.000 Let's retreat and we'll survive another day. 0.99

02:40:40.000 Where at that point, every other... 1.00

02:40:41.000 Like British generals, you know, they would just march their soldiers, the redcoats, in formation like idiots. 1.00

02:40:45.000 And they would just get shot and killed. 1.00

02:40:47.000 And it's like... 0.99

02:40:48.000 Because they were like, hey, if we're in the wrong system, then we're going to kill everybody. 0.94

02:40:51.000 And that's what it is. 1.00

02:40:52.000 When they would walk with the fucking white stripe in the middle of their chest. 0.99

02:40:56.000 And they would walk forward and march in war. 1.00

02:40:58.000 And they would just get shot.

02:40:59.000 What about the guy on the drums?

02:41:01.000 I feel like I'd be that guy. 0.99

02:41:02.000 Just get shot in the head immediately because I'm on the drums. 0.99

02:41:05.000 Isn't that amazing? 1.00

02:41:05.000 You need a drummer when you're going to go to war. 1.00

02:41:08.000 That is the dumbest fucking thing ever. 1.00

02:41:09.000 You're going to announce. 1.00

02:41:11.000 I know.

02:41:12.000 That music gets you high.

02:41:13.000 It pumps you up though.

02:41:14.000 The drums.

02:41:15.000 You have a musket.

02:41:16.000 Good luck.

02:41:17.000 You have shit weapons. 1.00

02:41:18.000 Everyone's going to die. 1.00

02:41:19.000 You're going to get shot in the dick. 1.00

02:41:20.000 It's going to be horrible. 1.00

02:41:21.000 A lead ball is going to take half your fucking face off. 1.00

02:41:24.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:41:25.000 Dude, I'm sure I know you read a lot and have a lot of former soldiers on, but as a guy who'd be just terrified to even go to war...

02:41:32.000 Everybody's terrified to go to war.

02:41:34.000 That's the point.

02:41:34.000 What I was saying earlier was what I meant by it when I talked about war, that everybody's kind of capable of it.

02:41:39.000 If we all agreed that there's a group that's killing us and they're coming to kill us and you had a gun and they were coming your way, you'd shoot at them. 0.94

02:41:48.000 Sure. 0.98

02:41:48.000 It's what everybody always does. 0.98

02:41:50.000 Almost everybody.

02:41:51.000 Some people will freeze, but the vast majority of people, when they're confronted by some sort of a thing, they switch, and then that becomes life.

02:41:58.000 Life becomes tribal warfare.

02:42:00.000 That's our default. 0.99

02:42:01.000 Our default from the beginning of human history has been, you've got some shit that I want, and I'm gonna try to get it from you. 0.99

02:42:08.000 Yeah, it's not so much racism, it's more tribalism. 0.99

02:42:10.000 It's tribalism.

02:42:10.000 I feel like the tribes stick together more than the races, you know?

02:42:13.000 But, you know, I read something interesting the other day about World War II, about how a couple of battles in the beginning of the war, Hitler and the Nazis were very adamant about, we're at war, you will not have prostitutes, you will not eat bad,

02:42:29.000 you know, you'll take a little Panzer Chocolat, a little crystal meth, and you will go out there and fight.

02:42:33.000 Where the French were like... 1.00

02:42:35.000 Dude, let's party.

02:42:36.000 We drink wine.

02:42:37.000 Hookers, everybody. 1.00

02:42:38.000 And they said Dunkirk and all those battles. 0.97

02:42:41.000 The reason why they lost, the reason why France got fucking rolled over, they say, is because they all had STDs. 0.99

02:42:49.000 That's a Real theory that they all had chlamydia and fucking were just fighting with infections where the Nazis were just coming in there pounding just with full cocks. 1.00

02:42:57.000 Full cock and meth. 1.00

02:42:59.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:42:59.000 That totally makes sense. 0.99

02:43:00.000 It's interesting though, right?

02:43:01.000 How like little things in history, like it's just like a very basic human thing that happened and then boom, history got changed. 0.99

02:43:08.000 Well, look at the fucking disease that ravaged through North America when the Europeans arrived. 0.99

02:43:13.000 Smallpox and all that. 0.99

02:43:13.000 I mean, that's probably responsible for the end of the Mayans, the end of the Aztecs, all the Native Americans dying off. 0.99

02:43:19.000 That 90% of the Native Americans died from diseases from the Europeans.

02:43:23.000 Yeah.

02:43:23.000 It's interesting.

02:43:24.000 I mean, even back then, human sacrifice and all that, I'm like, were the Mayans good people? 0.96

02:43:31.000 Were the Aztecs good people that were fucking killing everybody and sacrificing them to the sun gods? 0.99

02:43:35.000 Most likely. 1.00

02:43:36.000 I think what happens is...

02:43:39.000 That civilizations get to a really, really, really good place before they fall apart or if they fall apart.

02:43:46.000 And then I think somewhere around the time when they're falling apart, people start doing wacky shit to try to get things back, get their juju back. 0.77

02:43:53.000 And so they start killing slaves and sacrificing them to the sun god so that they no longer had diseases. 0.94

02:43:59.000 And someone tells you the problem that we're having in this world is we're not sacrificing enough.

02:44:05.000 So God doesn't think we love him.

02:44:07.000 Yeah, you could believe it.

02:44:08.000 You could talk people into it.

02:44:09.000 100%.

02:44:10.000 I wonder if we're going to be at that point now.

02:44:12.000 Because a lot of people are like, oh, doesn't it feel like the world's ending?

02:44:14.000 I'm like, it doesn't to me.

02:44:15.000 It doesn't feel like we're there yet.

02:44:17.000 Well, what do you think war is?

02:44:18.000 When we send people and you know they're going to die for an unjust cause because they're going to create wealth and they're going to control resources.

02:44:25.000 In a way, they're sacrificing lives for a greater good, what they think is a greater good for them.

02:44:31.000 Sure.

02:44:32.000 Which is like some sort of economic gain or control of resources and oil or strategic move, but they're sacrificing people.

02:44:40.000 Right.

02:44:40.000 There's just doing it in this sort of, I wasn't, it was a war, I wasn't there.

02:44:44.000 Yeah.

02:44:45.000 But you're sending people and you know some of them are going to die for a greater good.

02:44:49.000 Yeah well that whole idea too of like war and you know and again I'm sure there's a million reasons why it doesn't but it like it would seem like if I wasn't a human I was looking down it would seem like hey all you people don't have to die why don't you just get the one leader of that country who's mad at that country just have those two fight or have them both pick one guy to fight and the winner gets whatever.

02:45:08.000 Can't have that because then you have the biggest strongest guy runs the whole world because he controls all the army you can't have that.

02:45:14.000 You have to have people voting over stuff. 0.97

02:45:16.000 The only reason why it works is because a group has a better, more ass-kicking general. 0.88

02:45:22.000 But that's the thing. 0.99

02:45:23.000 Even the best presidents, even the best leaders and prime ministers, at the core of it, you're an egomaniac lunatic if you even want to be in a position to lead these people. 0.97

02:45:36.000 Of course. 0.95

02:45:36.000 If you want to be a Putin. 0.95

02:45:39.000 Even a good president, if you want to be a nice guy, if you want to be a JFK or an Obama even, even though I loved Obama, but there's no way that guy isn't a fucking egomaniac lunatic if you want to be president. 0.98

02:45:49.000 I think you can't be it without the other. 0.98

02:45:51.000 I agree 100%. 0.99

02:45:53.000 And I also think you can't do it if you're around the type of people that are also doing it and not become a fucking psycho. 0.99

02:45:59.000 Psycho. 0.99

02:46:00.000 If you're around all these people that you know are engaging in what is essentially insider trading, and they're all openly doing it, And they're all responsible for the law, and they're responsible for the way this country runs at its core, and they're just fucking raking in cash from all this fucking dirty shit that would get you arrested in other businesses. 0.99

02:46:19.000 Yeah. 0.92

02:46:20.000 It almost feels like, I know we need people to lead, but it almost feels like in a way, and maybe I heard this from somebody, maybe it was Graham Hancock who said this, that we're almost outgrowing government.

02:46:31.000 Now where it's like you don't need it as much anymore.

02:46:35.000 Because now it's becoming like we're starting to like revolt a little bit.

02:46:38.000 Well imagine if there was no boundaries on what a person could and could not pursue in terms of their religious freedom, what they want to do for a living, what they want to do sexually.

02:46:48.000 If there was nothing, if that was completely off the table.

02:46:51.000 That's an archaic thing in the past like burning witches at the stake.

02:46:54.000 And then we realize there's a certain finite amount of resources on Earth, but when it's spread evenly, there's really enough for everybody.

02:47:02.000 So we're just going to make a certain amount of food available for everybody, housing available for everybody, and we all work together to make sure that everybody lives at a certain level of life.

02:47:12.000 Then the other things are just about how much effort you're willing to put in.

02:47:16.000 But it has to be, if we know this at this level, that the governments and powers that be know it too.

02:47:22.000 But how are they going to communicate that idea to everybody and have everybody accept it?

02:47:25.000 They're not going to.

02:47:26.000 We're stuck in this paradigm until people work it out.

02:47:30.000 I don't think it's a function as much of a group of people that have decided to hide the truth that we can all get along together as much as they're just trying to control what they have And they're dealing with other countries that are trying to control what they have and arguing over resources and territories and laws that get passed and things along those lines.

02:47:52.000 That's why I think, though, I really believe, in Mi Corazon, that aliens are going to be, like, not only are we going to find out that they're for real, for real, but they're coming.

02:48:04.000 Because I think that's the only way we unite as a people is we got to fight something else.

02:48:08.000 Now, I think who knows if we get demolished or not.

02:48:11.000 Maybe, maybe not.

02:48:12.000 But I do feel like we're getting set up.

02:48:15.000 I thought aliens were coming at the end of the pandemic.

02:48:18.000 I think we all did.

02:48:18.000 I think we're all like there's no like the NASA, the research, everything's coming out.

02:48:22.000 I feel like they're coming in the next 20 years.

02:48:24.000 And that's the only way we can get back to, you know, kind of coming together.

02:48:28.000 Well, aliens will cure racism. 0.78

02:48:30.000 I think that if If aliens do exist, and they have gone through a similar evolutionary process as human beings have, and one of the things that's interesting about that is there's a real good theory that psilocybin itself might be extraterrestrial.

02:48:48.000 And that's spores.

02:48:50.000 We gotta do it.

02:48:51.000 Spores can exist in a vacuum.

02:48:53.000 And they think that, well, they know that some, like we're talking about iridium, how iridium exists when they go to do the core sample of like 20,000 years and they get to that area where they think the impacts hit.

02:49:05.000 There's all this iridium.

02:49:06.000 Because they know that iridium comes from space and oftentimes exists in meteors that land on earth and that's how you find it.

02:49:15.000 But other stuff gets there too and there's even this theory of panspermia.

02:49:19.000 Panspermia is a theory that the organic building blocks from life or for life, like even amino acids, they could have come here from some other planet, crash landed and the chemical process begins, it creates life.

02:49:33.000 Now, if that's the case, if they think that psilocybin can exist and spores, like fungus spores, can exist in a vacuum, they could conceivably be on a rock that lands on Earth in a meteor impact and spread that way.

02:49:50.000 Right.

02:49:51.000 Yeah, because it seems to me that I could understand that being kind of a hypothesis that could be true because, again, I know you've done it before, but it seems when I – the research I did with the psilocybin, people kind of say – I keep hearing the similar thing that in different ways with mushrooms or ayahuasca,

02:50:11.000 a lot of people say that they – Calm down a lot.

02:50:15.000 Some of them, at least, say.

02:50:16.000 It alleviates anxiety for a lot of people.

02:50:18.000 Because they say that they know that death isn't the end.

02:50:21.000 It's just another part of their existence.

02:50:23.000 I've heard a lot of people say in the research, they say the same thing, that they believe we're all God.

02:50:27.000 God is in everything.

02:50:29.000 It's not even a spiritual thing.

02:50:30.000 It's like a creator thing, where it's like, maybe that is the thing that...

02:50:35.000 Maybe we were created by something.

02:50:37.000 Isn't it interesting that something that alleviates ego's control, alleviates you from ego's control, because one of the things that it does is it diminishes the ego when you take psilocybin, but also diminishes anxiety.

02:50:49.000 Remember we were talking earlier that it might be a narcissistic thing, and you were saying that it might be a narcissistic thing to be so anxious?

02:50:57.000 If that kind of seems like that may be a possibility for some people, obviously for some people, and I should be clear on this, we were talking about it earlier, some people have anxiety because they're mentally imbalanced.

02:51:11.000 Something's wrong.

02:51:13.000 There's some chemicals that are off in the brain.

02:51:16.000 The idea that something can come along that can alleviate your anxiety but also diminishes the ego is really interesting.

02:51:24.000 Because how much of this mental energy that people put into thinking about themselves would be alleviated if they realized they were a part of something that's immense and huge?

02:51:35.000 That all of life itself is experiencing it through these different biological filters, but that we're ultimately really the same thing at our cores.

02:51:45.000 And that's one of the reasons why we freak out so much, or let me tell you something, I do.

02:51:49.000 I freak out so much at people's flaws.

02:51:51.000 I mean, flaws as in people that lie, or people that steal, or people that try to harm people, because I'm terrified in seeing those things in myself.

02:52:01.000 You know, you worry like, oh, I could imagine if I grew up in the foster care system and I was in and out of jail and getting beat up all the time that I would become this criminal that I'm looking at right here.

02:52:11.000 Right.

02:52:11.000 That could be you and you know it could be you.

02:52:13.000 Right.

02:52:13.000 Because you're just a lucky human being that didn't have to live like that.

02:52:16.000 Right. 0.96

02:52:20.000 Outside of language, outside of your fucking childhood and your life experiences, the energy of a human is probably really similar in all of us. 0.83

02:52:28.000 And it's just going through these different biological filters, different life circumstances. 0.92

02:52:34.000 But if you lived my life, you would be me.

02:52:37.000 And if I lived your life, I would be you.

02:52:38.000 And that's probably the reality of people, that you feel when you're on mushrooms.

02:52:43.000 So all the thinking about yourself seems less...

02:52:47.000 It just seems to make less sense.

02:52:48.000 Yeah, because you're never really mad at anyone.

02:52:50.000 You're always usually just mad at yourself, right?

02:52:53.000 A lot of times you're mad at other people.

02:52:55.000 If other people are doing you bad.

02:52:57.000 No, I know, but don't you think at the core of it, it could be that you're just mad at yourself?

02:53:02.000 Like if somebody...

02:53:04.000 At the end of the day, I think, even if I got into a car accident, it was 1000%, I think, not my fault.

02:53:11.000 In a way, I think deep, deep, deep, deep, deep in my brain, I'm like, no, it was my fault.

02:53:15.000 How?

02:53:15.000 Because maybe I could have been more aware.

02:53:17.000 Maybe I could have stopped sooner.

02:53:19.000 Maybe I was texting and driving.

02:53:21.000 Two-year-olds get killed in drive-bys. 0.98

02:53:23.000 Okay, the idea that everybody creates their own destiny with their imagination is kind of silly.

02:53:28.000 But people do think like that, that it's your fault.

02:53:31.000 I've heard people say it. 1.00

02:53:32.000 There was a fucking documentary. 0.99

02:53:33.000 I don't even remember which one it was, but one of those wacky metaphysical documentaries that was trying to say that everything in your life, including all the diseases that people have, everything is created by your own mind. 1.00

02:53:44.000 Like, that is so crazy and so dumb. 0.79

02:53:47.000 Do you think that, like, someone who is born with, like, mal-shaped limbs, was that their personal choice? 1.00

02:53:53.000 No. 1.00

02:53:54.000 Like that is so fucking dumb. 1.00

02:53:55.000 With what we know about biology, that's so fucking dumb that people would think that way. 1.00

02:53:59.000 There's a lot of random luck involved and shit. 0.99

02:54:01.000 So I was gonna say, you think it's more luck. 0.98

02:54:03.000 It's more random luck.

02:54:04.000 You think that's the energy.

02:54:06.000 But there's that too.

02:54:06.000 Look, there's no doubt about it, okay?

02:54:08.000 If a fucking baby gets hit with a stray bullet, the baby did not will that stray bullet into its fucking life. 1.00

02:54:13.000 I agree with you there. 1.00

02:54:13.000 Right? 1.00

02:54:13.000 It's not the baby's choices that it got shot in the crib. 1.00

02:54:16.000 Yeah.

02:54:16.000 There's randomness to life.

02:54:18.000 It just doesn't experience, you don't experience it every day. 0.94

02:54:21.000 So you assume because you're aware of the patterns you do experience every day, like driving to work, I see a certain amount of things, I'm around a certain amount of things, all that shit ends if an asteroid hits. 0.97

02:54:31.000 Boom! 0.99

02:54:32.000 Back to cave people.

02:54:34.000 Instantaneously. 0.73

02:54:35.000 Cannibalism. 0.62

02:54:36.000 Instantaneously.

02:54:37.000 Scratching and clawing to survive.

02:54:39.000 Instantaneously.

02:54:40.000 Right.

02:54:40.000 That's a reality.

02:54:42.000 That can happen.

02:54:42.000 And that's what we don't think of because it hasn't.

02:54:45.000 But we know it has. 0.99

02:54:46.000 That's what's so fucked. 1.00

02:54:47.000 We know it did kill the dinosaurs. 0.99

02:54:49.000 We're pretty sure this Younger Dryas Impact Theory has got a lot of validity to it.

02:54:53.000 It seems like it has a lot of evidence. 0.99

02:54:54.000 It points to it being one of the possibilities to kill off a giant percentage of fucking animals on this planet and probably reset civilization. 0.99

02:55:02.000 Yeah, we definitely are living extremely comfortable at this point in time. 0.99

02:55:07.000 But my thing is, when people say that, it's like, but what am I supposed to do?

02:55:11.000 Like, make believe that I lived in the 1850s? 0.99

02:55:13.000 Like, I don't want to shit in a hole a mile outside my house. 0.98

02:55:16.000 No, you don't have to do that. 0.98

02:55:17.000 It's just the understanding that this is all unknown. 1.00

02:55:22.000 You can't think that it's your fault if we get hit with a fucking asteroid. 0.99

02:55:27.000 Because it's not. 1.00

02:55:28.000 There's a lot of randomness to this shit. 0.99

02:55:30.000 There's a lot. 1.00

02:55:31.000 Yeah.

02:55:32.000 Well, I think just not resisting is a big thing.

02:55:35.000 Just accepting anything and limiting the resistance.

02:55:38.000 I hear that.

02:55:39.000 I follow that guy, Saad Guru, whatever.

02:55:41.000 He's always talking about that.

02:55:43.000 Just stop resisting.

02:55:44.000 Accept everything.

02:55:45.000 There's something to that for sure, but you know what else there's something to?

02:55:48.000 Knowing that you're not going to figure this out.

02:55:50.000 Just living your life and trying to do the best you can, but knowing that you're not going to figure this out. 0.96

02:55:54.000 Because no one has all the goddamn answers to this. 0.96

02:55:57.000 No. 0.97

02:55:57.000 And the people that come up with pretty good ideas, like Saad Guru, like maybe some of the things that he says are wacky. 0.97

02:56:03.000 You know, and then there's another guy that has some other interesting ideas, but maybe he sucks as a boss. 0.97

02:56:08.000 You know, and there's another guy that says cool shit, but you know, maybe he lies about his last name. 0.99

02:56:13.000 There's a lot of fucking weirdness to being a person. 0.99

02:56:15.000 Well, I was going to say, and that I think is the slippery slope where it down now, or at least were down a little bit a year or two ago when trying to, you know, go back in history and remove certain figures. 0.98

02:56:25.000 It's like, wait a second.

02:56:26.000 Bad people do good things.

02:56:27.000 Good people do bad things.

02:56:28.000 That's just the scope of being a human being.

02:56:30.000 Right.

02:56:30.000 But the problem is you idolize someone if you put up a big statue of them.

02:56:35.000 If we put up a big statue of Hitler and say, hey, you made some really good watercolors.

02:56:39.000 Yeah.

02:56:39.000 Or he was a vegetarian.

02:56:41.000 Right. 0.99

02:56:41.000 Get the fuck out of here, right? 0.99

02:56:42.000 Yeah, you can't do that. 0.99

02:56:43.000 So when you have a statue of George Washington and then you hear about the good stuff that George Washington did, like what you were saying, is his humility to pull out and his smart...

02:56:51.000 But then you find out that his teeth were all...

02:56:55.000 Slave teeth that he had pulled from his slaves and made into dentures.

02:56:59.000 And you're like, yo!

02:57:00.000 That's not good.

02:57:01.000 That's not good.

02:57:02.000 But you know what's interesting, too, is because a lot of people are like, well, you know, they didn't know any better with that.

02:57:09.000 And then...

02:57:09.000 Bro.

02:57:10.000 Bro, but when you read the accounts, like, have you ever...

02:57:13.000 Did you ever read this 1776 book?

02:57:15.000 No.

02:57:15.000 It's fascinating because what I like is an author and what I've always liked.

02:57:19.000 From an early age, I've always been like, I'm learning history here in history class in my high school or grammar school in America from the point of view of an American.

02:57:26.000 I want to learn from America's enemies what happened.

02:57:29.000 And then I can kind of piece together in my own...

02:57:31.000 Because history isn't even fact.

02:57:32.000 It's all recounting tales and it's all telling a story.

02:57:35.000 But when the British got to colonial America, they were... 0.97

02:57:42.000 On the floor astounded that there were slaves.

02:57:45.000 That was the thing that was disgusting them.

02:57:47.000 Like British soldiers, they have a letter, a letter of a British soldier writing back to his wife.

02:57:51.000 He's like, he was terrified of two things.

02:57:54.000 He goes, one, Massachusetts, the most Puritan, Puritanical place we had that was supposed to be the best people living in our country in that time all had slaves.

02:58:02.000 And he's like, I can't even sleep at night that these people are enslaving other human beings because slavery was outlawed 100 years in England.

02:58:09.000 Wow.

02:58:10.000 And then he said, you know, another thing, and it's kind of crazy, and this hit me with German, because, you know, the British hired, you know, mercenary, Hessian mercenaries, German mercenaries. 0.99

02:58:19.000 He said they ran onto shore, ran off the fucking boats, and started killing American soldiers and cutting their faces off and taking things as, they were brutal. 0.99

02:58:29.000 He said, brutal, vicious. 0.99

02:58:30.000 And it's like, not all Germany, but then it's like that country's history.

02:58:33.000 It's like, you know, all the way up to Nazis. 0.97

02:58:35.000 And you're like, oh, maybe there is something in DNA where, like, tribes act like tribes, because even back then, In the book, they were like, Hessians were fucking wild. 0.97

02:58:43.000 Jesus Christ, I didn't know that story.

02:58:44.000 Yeah, but it was interesting because this soldier was saying, so that argument of, oh, they didn't know any better.

02:58:52.000 It's like, I think they did.

02:58:53.000 I think back then it was just a business choice.

02:58:56.000 That was like all this stuff was just business.

02:58:58.000 Just like today we make business choices.

02:59:00.000 I mean, they say, again, I don't know, but they say that the most slaves that ever existed are right now in Saudi Arabia.

02:59:06.000 That's what they say, I believe.

02:59:07.000 There's more people enslaved today than during the time when slavery was legal in America, but there's way more people on the planet.

02:59:16.000 I don't know if the percentage is down, but the number is up.

02:59:20.000 But it's crazy how, like, slavery, like, it still even exists today in any shape or form.

02:59:24.000 Open slave auctions in Libya.

02:59:27.000 Do you see those on YouTube?

02:59:29.000 That I haven't seen, no.

02:59:30.000 It's nuts. 0.75

02:59:31.000 Well, Libya's a failed state, right? 1.00

02:59:33.000 So when Libya fell apart, there was fucking open slave auctions on YouTube. 0.98

02:59:37.000 You know, it's really, because someone was filming it with their cell phone. 0.98

02:59:40.000 What's really fucking crazy, dude, is if you think about, like, how horrific the people were that lived in the 1700s. 0.85

02:59:46.000 Then think Columbus was as many years ago from that as we are from the people in the 1700s. 0.99

02:59:52.000 That's what's fucking crazy. 1.00

02:59:54.000 Fucking crazy. 0.99

02:59:55.000 Columbus in the 1400s, when they landed in the Bahamas or wherever they landed, they were 300 years more barbaric than the people in the 1700s. 0.99

03:00:05.000 Well, dude, and then things lose their meaning.

03:00:07.000 Like, you know, like I learned when I went to Charleston, you know, like one of the greatest comedy movies of, you know, whatever, the 2000s, I would argue, was Knocked Up.

03:00:16.000 That was like a great movie.

03:00:17.000 Oh, Knocked Up!

03:00:18.000 Judd Apatow's Knocked Up!

03:00:19.000 And then I went to Charleston, and I went to visit the slave market there, and you know where term Knocked Up comes from?

03:00:26.000 No.

03:00:26.000 When a slave, a female slave, was pregnant with a child, her price was knocked up.

03:00:31.000 So they would say, she's knocked up. 1.00

03:00:32.000 And that's why, oh, I'm pregnant, I'm knocked up. 0.96

03:00:33.000 Now it's like, ah, it's silly.

03:00:35.000 Look at this, kids will be knocked up. 1.00

03:00:36.000 And it's like, just 200 years ago, you said that to someone, it was like, that's the most devastating thing I've heard.

03:00:41.000 So we get desensitized very, very quickly. 0.99

03:00:45.000 Holy shit. 1.00

03:00:46.000 Our brains adapt. 1.00

03:00:47.000 I think, what do they say?

03:00:47.000 Every 21 days, you can just get over something and forget that that happened and that was bad.

03:00:53.000 That's rude.

03:00:54.000 Just that Knocked Up fact is crazy.

03:00:57.000 How wild is that?

03:00:57.000 That's why when I saw a lot of things getting canceled, I was like, I bet you Knocked Up is going to have to change your name, Knocked Up.

03:01:03.000 Well, it is now.

03:01:04.000 They're going to hear it now, after this.

03:01:05.000 Most people do.

03:01:06.000 I didn't know that.

03:01:07.000 I'm never going to get into a Jen Apatow movie now. 0.95

03:01:09.000 Did you know that, Jamie?

03:01:10.000 No.

03:01:10.000 That's crazy.

03:01:11.000 I hope I didn't make that up.

03:01:12.000 Well, he probably didn't know it either.

03:01:13.000 No, I'm sure he didn't know.

03:01:14.000 We'll find out shortly.

03:01:15.000 I'm sure he didn't.

03:01:16.000 Jamie's Googling it right now.

03:01:18.000 Yeah.

03:01:19.000 That sounds...

03:01:20.000 Something different.

03:01:20.000 ...like it makes sense.

03:01:21.000 What'd you say?

03:01:21.000 It says...

03:01:22.000 I'm trying to read it real quick.

03:01:23.000 It says something different. 0.90

03:01:24.000 Did I fuck it up?

03:01:25.000 It's the second meaning...

03:01:26.000 Let's see.

03:01:26.000 There's a course...

03:01:28.000 Awaken someone by knocking, the second meaning isn't wily, isn't America, it's still common in Britain.

03:01:33.000 At this slave market, for sure, on this tour, they said that was where it came up from.

03:01:38.000 The meaning, when a woman gets pregnant, she's knocked up. 0.82

03:01:41.000 Well, maybe it was a common expression before that, and then they added it to this woman being pregnant with slavery because it indicated the same thing, that the price was knocked up.

03:01:53.000 Right.

03:01:53.000 Like, so maybe knocked up.

03:01:55.000 Like, how much are horseshoes?

03:01:57.000 Oh, they've been knocked up.

03:01:58.000 Like, maybe it was normal to say knocked up, and then it became knocked up with that on top of it.

03:02:02.000 Or, like, even just two years ago, a woman who I know, one of my mother's friends, who was working at a hospital for 30 years, an employee came in, like, a new...

03:02:13.000 A younger girl.

03:02:15.000 My mom's friend is white.

03:02:16.000 This girl happened to be black. 1.00

03:02:18.000 And she goes, the woman who's been, again, working there 30 years, the girl asked a question, and she was like, oh, don't worry about it.

03:02:27.000 We're going to educate you.

03:02:28.000 She goes, don't worry.

03:02:29.000 We're going to whip you into shape, and you're going to be great.

03:02:31.000 Oh, Jesus.

03:02:32.000 Fired.

03:02:32.000 And I was like, even whip you into shape?

03:02:34.000 You can't say that.

03:02:35.000 The Oxford English Dictionary traces the expression back as far as 1813 and says it's of an American origin.

03:02:42.000 An OED citation from 1836 refers to slave women who are knocked down by the auctioneer and knocked up by the purchaser.

03:02:52.000 Huh.

03:02:54.000 This, for sure, this tour guide said it's because their price was knocked up.

03:03:00.000 So maybe...

03:03:01.000 Knocked down by the auctioneer.

03:03:03.000 What does that mean?

03:03:03.000 Knocked down by the purchaser, though.

03:03:05.000 Is the auctioneer the guy who does the, hey, somebody, somebody, somebody...

03:03:08.000 Is that the person who...

03:03:11.000 Yeah, that's the auctioneer, right?

03:03:12.000 That's not...

03:03:12.000 So the other person would just be what in the audience who's...

03:03:16.000 They're buying it.

03:03:17.000 The purchaser?

03:03:18.000 So it's knocked up by the purchaser?

03:03:21.000 That's what it said?

03:03:21.000 Yeah.

03:03:22.000 Okay, that makes sense, right?

03:03:23.000 So the auctioneer is the guy who's like, do I have 17?

03:03:26.000 Do I have 17?

03:03:27.000 He says, I'll give you 20. Yeah.

03:03:28.000 So that's knocked up.

03:03:29.000 Knocked up.

03:03:30.000 Interesting.

03:03:31.000 Well, it's still attached to slavery somehow.

03:03:33.000 Yeah.

03:03:33.000 Maybe I added the second part in to make it fit more.

03:03:36.000 Makes sense, though.

03:03:36.000 It does make sense.

03:03:37.000 But then it doesn't make sense because then she wouldn't be able to work and she would have to take care of the kid.

03:03:41.000 Well, no, you're getting two humans, though.

03:03:43.000 Right, but you won't for a long time.

03:03:46.000 True.

03:03:47.000 Right?

03:03:47.000 Listen, I don't make the rules.

03:03:49.000 Well, one of the things Native Americans would do, unfortunately, when they kidnap people is they would accept children because those children could be integrated into society. 1.00

03:04:00.000 Right.

03:04:00.000 But they would kill babies because they didn't want to have to take care of the baby.

03:04:03.000 So the Comanches, when they... 0.93

03:04:07.000 There's this incredible book called Empire of the Summer Moon that details this woman.

03:04:11.000 I forget her name.

03:04:13.000 Her last name is Parker.

03:04:14.000 And she got kidnapped when she was nine years old by the Comanches.

03:04:18.000 And they killed her mom.

03:04:19.000 They killed everybody else.

03:04:21.000 They took her.

03:04:22.000 Because she wasn't an adult.

03:04:24.000 They killed the adults.

03:04:26.000 Or on rare cases, they would accept them and take a woman as a wife or something like that.

03:04:33.000 But most adult males were just killed.

03:04:34.000 Right.

03:04:35.000 And then they also killed babies.

03:04:36.000 But they would let children join the tribe because they had a hard time with women keeping babies because all the riding on horses would have a lot of miscarriages. 1.00

03:04:47.000 So they needed to keep their numbers high.

03:04:49.000 So they would incorporate kids that they had kidnapped into their tribe.

03:04:52.000 I guess that makes sense.

03:04:53.000 I mean, well, I mean, I guess, you know, too, like in nature, like that's the thing is like, you know, I guess because we have conscious thought and all that, you know, humans get a bad rap.

03:05:02.000 But like I saw a video once of this zebra that was giving birth.

03:05:07.000 And I guess the father that impregnated that zebra must have been killed in the course of the baby giving birth.

03:05:13.000 And then the new male zebra came in.

03:05:14.000 And as the baby's being born, the new male zebra is stomping its head to death because it's like, that ain't mine.

03:05:20.000 I have a friend who has that happen on his property out here.

03:05:23.000 Oh, wow. 1.00

03:05:24.000 He's got a zebra in Texas, and he's like, I got a zebra that's a cunt. 1.00

03:05:28.000 And he kills the other zebras, keeps killing the other zebras. 1.00

03:05:31.000 And he's like a non-viable older male. 0.88

03:05:34.000 He has to kill the zebra, because the zebra's killing the other zebras. 0.98

03:05:38.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:05:38.000 That's another thing. 0.99

03:05:39.000 Thank God we're not British. 1.00

03:05:40.000 But then we'd have to say Zebra.

03:05:41.000 Zebra.

03:05:42.000 I don't want to say Zebra.

03:05:43.000 They say Zed, too, with Z. Shut up, Zed. 0.99

03:05:45.000 They don't say A to Z. They say A to Zed. 1.00

03:05:48.000 A to Zed. 0.71

03:05:48.000 Like a Corvette ZR1 is a Zed R1. Zed R1. Zed R1. You know what's another thing I read, which I thought was funny? 0.71

03:05:54.000 Is that some linguistic expert thinks that most likely the closest...

03:06:02.000 That colonial Americans sounded like was Boston, Bostonians. 0.90

03:06:07.000 Really?

03:06:07.000 The Bostonian accent right now is the closest.

03:06:11.000 Just think about Founding Fathers just fucking being like, cocksucker. 1.00

03:06:14.000 Well, that makes sense because it's a terrible accent. 1.00

03:06:17.000 It sounds awful coming out of women. 1.00

03:06:19.000 You gonna fucking marry me or what, Chris DiStefano? 1.00

03:06:23.000 You think your heart's shit? 1.00

03:06:25.000 So even you being from, you're from Massachusetts, right? 1.00

03:06:28.000 Even you don't like that accent. 0.96

03:06:29.000 It's gross. 0.51

03:06:30.000 It's fun to go back and drink there, though.

03:06:32.000 It's fun when you hear it, rather, if you're hanging out with a bunch of drunk guys and they're talking in a Boston accent.

03:06:37.000 But I think there's other accents that are prettier.

03:06:40.000 Like for a girl, right? 0.98

03:06:42.000 If you hear a girl's accent, a girl from the South. 0.96

03:06:44.000 Oh my god.

03:06:45.000 That's the best accent.

03:06:46.000 Honestly, I'll kiss anybody on their lips with a southern accent. 0.97

03:06:49.000 Male, female, trans, animal. 1.00

03:06:52.000 I don't care.

03:06:52.000 There's something about that accent that's lovely.

03:06:55.000 It's lovely.

03:06:56.000 And there's something about it coming out of a girl's mouth. 0.74

03:06:58.000 Like, why is that so hot?

03:06:59.000 My friend, born and raised in New York, just could nail it.

03:07:04.000 He was like as good as accents as like a Dan Soder.

03:07:06.000 He would...

03:07:08.000 Weekly, we would watch him do this.

03:07:09.000 He would go out and become a British man for the entire night and make believe he was British and hook up with girls all day every day with the British accent.

03:07:18.000 Yeah, the British accent is strong.

03:07:20.000 And I feel like if he did that now, though, there would be misrepresentation.

03:07:25.000 You can't do that, actually.

03:07:26.000 Yeah, it's illegal.

03:07:27.000 Yeah, you'd get sued, maybe even jailed. 0.99

03:07:29.000 But think about those fucking guys that are selling us stuff on late night TV. They all had British accents. 0.99

03:07:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:07:36.000 Mops and shit. 1.00

03:07:37.000 Tell you weird mops. 1.00

03:07:38.000 Well, I used to be the job, like my high school job, like, you know, I worked at the US Open, the USTA Tennis Center.

03:07:47.000 And so, like, it's funny, like, Roland Garros or Wimbledon or the Australian Open, they all pick the elite members of society's children.

03:07:53.000 These are prestigious jobs where, like, USTA just picks, like, dirtbags from Queens and Brooklyn. 0.68

03:07:58.000 Like, it was just us, you know, no experience.

03:08:00.000 We didn't even know tennis. 0.99

03:08:01.000 We were like, 15 love, what the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

03:08:04.000 Like, we had no idea. 0.97

03:08:05.000 But it was a cool job.

03:08:07.000 We worked the grounds crew.

03:08:08.000 I used to stack the towels in the men's locker room. 0.99

03:08:11.000 Dude, I've seen everybody's dick. 0.99

03:08:13.000 Roger Federer, Roddick, everyone just walks around with a piece. 0.99

03:08:16.000 One of my friends, he was stacking the ice on, it's called P1 through 7, practice course 1 through 7, and he started flirting with, I think it was Serena Williams.

03:08:24.000 She was 16 at the time, he was like 17, and he says he made out with her Like, behind a dumpster or something like that during practice.

03:08:32.000 I'm like, I don't know.

03:08:34.000 We've never verified it, but he's a good-looking kid. 0.99

03:08:36.000 I was like, yo, we used to see crazy shit. 0.98

03:08:38.000 But one time, I was sitting watching a match, and this umpire, you know, up in his chair... 0.98

03:08:45.000 Like, you know, 15 love, 30 love, like that, like prim proper, gets down, right off, as soon as the match is over, and is talking to his wife, like, he's like, hey, you know, is there gas in the car?

03:08:56.000 Like, he had a full New York gas.

03:08:59.000 He was like, what's up?

03:09:00.000 You good?

03:09:00.000 What do you need?

03:09:01.000 You need sauce?

03:09:02.000 And I was like, yo, and I saw it with my own eyes.

03:09:06.000 Dude, the USTA was so funny.

03:09:08.000 This was a US Open sanctioned match.

03:09:13.000 It was on one of the side courts, so it wasn't on television.

03:09:15.000 This guy from Belgium, I forgot what his name was, but I was the court attendant on the court. 0.99

03:09:19.000 He was getting fucking smacked. 0.98

03:09:22.000 He was losing everything. 0.99

03:09:24.000 Six love, six love, and then he was down, whatever, five love.

03:09:27.000 He didn't score any points, like nothing.

03:09:30.000 He calls a timeout.

03:09:31.000 In the middle of a U.S. Open sanctions match, starts smoking a cigarette.

03:09:35.000 He starts smoking a full cigarette, just sitting there laughing, turning around.

03:09:39.000 The crowd's laughing like, you know, nobody had video cameras on their cell phones yet. 0.99

03:09:43.000 Just smoking a cigarette because he knows he's getting fucking smacked. 0.97

03:09:46.000 The guy, they, you know, carry on. 0.99

03:09:48.000 The guy serves it.

03:09:49.000 He doesn't even, he like fake whiffs at it and just walks off because the match was over and just walked off with cigarette smoke. 0.99

03:09:54.000 I was like, yo, that guy is cool as shit. 0.99

03:09:56.000 I was like, whoa. 1.00

03:09:58.000 Yeah.

03:09:59.000 Something about accents, right?

03:10:01.000 Yeah.

03:10:02.000 There's something about it.

03:10:04.000 It is weird how some of them are better than others.

03:10:06.000 They're just better, but people get stuck.

03:10:08.000 It's like, who was the guy who originated the accent?

03:10:11.000 Like, who deviated from New England and developed Brooklyn?

03:10:15.000 Who deviated from Brooklyn and made Baltimore?

03:10:18.000 Who deviated from Baltimore and made the South, North Carolina, South Carolina?

03:10:23.000 There has to be somebody that knows.

03:10:25.000 I wonder, if I was going to talk to Noam Chomsky, I don't know if that's what I'd talk to him about, but if I was going to talk to someone who's a legitimate linguist, I would say, what are the contributing factors that leads to a certain sound that encapsulates the way people talk in a specific region?

03:10:40.000 Because California doesn't have anything.

03:10:42.000 California, if anything, has a little bit of this.

03:10:45.000 There's an uptalk, but that's more tech than it is California.

03:10:49.000 There's a way that people talk.

03:10:51.000 There was a time where I think more people have become so aware that it's so gross and fake that they don't do it as much anymore.

03:10:58.000 But uptalk was a way that you could pretend that you were intelligent, and you were part of this tribe of really intelligent, creative people.

03:11:06.000 You don't hear people talking like this.

03:11:09.000 No, it's annoying now.

03:11:10.000 And then saying they're Trump supporters.

03:11:12.000 Right.

03:11:12.000 You know what I mean?

03:11:13.000 That's a very progressive, tech-savvy, up-talk thing.

03:11:18.000 It's interesting with language because you would think many things...

03:11:20.000 It took millions of years to evolve from not having a tail or getting to these certain...

03:11:25.000 But language changes quickly.

03:11:27.000 Even now, the way we talked in 1940 is different than the way we talk now.

03:11:32.000 Say, fella. 1.00

03:11:33.000 Yeah.

03:11:33.000 Hello.

03:11:34.000 I have to suck you. 1.00

03:11:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:11:35.000 We had a gay old time. 1.00

03:11:37.000 Yeah, exactly.

03:11:38.000 All that stuff was like, you ever listen to like, see like people talk from like the 1800s, like an interview from like 18...

03:11:44.000 I put a video up on my Instagram.

03:11:46.000 Oh, did you?

03:11:46.000 Did you ever see it?

03:11:47.000 No.

03:11:47.000 It's from a woman who was born, I think she was born in the early 1800s.

03:11:52.000 Okay.

03:11:52.000 And then the video of her was from the early 1900s.

03:11:55.000 Wow.

03:11:55.000 So she was like 80 something years old.

03:11:57.000 See if you can find it, Jamie.

03:11:58.000 It's a black and white video of this lady and it's really interesting because... 0.87

03:12:03.000 She kind of sounds like what you expect a woman who lived in the Old West to talk like. 0.99

03:12:09.000 Really?

03:12:10.000 Yeah.

03:12:11.000 It's hard to say how much they got it right with fiction, when you're reading fiction, and even when they're historical accounts.

03:12:19.000 How accurate were they? 0.99

03:12:21.000 I mean, how much did they bullshit? 0.99

03:12:22.000 Like, how much today do they bullshit about stuff? 1.00

03:12:24.000 Of course. 1.00

03:12:25.000 Like, look, the fucking president of the United... 1.00

03:12:26.000 The White House, I should say. 1.00

03:12:27.000 The White House put a tweet out that talked about how when Joe Biden got into office, there was no vaccine. 0.98

03:12:33.000 Well, that's not fucking true. 0.97

03:12:35.000 That's not true. 0.98

03:12:35.000 Not only was it not true, but he was vaccinated. 0.98

03:12:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

03:12:38.000 He got vaccinated before he got into office.

03:12:40.000 And millions of people have been vaccinated by that.

03:12:42.000 Oh, of course.

03:12:42.000 So this lady, listen to this.

03:12:44.000 I'm trying to get on my feet again.

03:12:46.000 Feel pretty good.

03:12:48.000 Thankful it's as well as it is.

03:12:50.000 Oh, boys, I'm pleased to see you.

03:12:53.000 I don't know where you come from, but I give you all the welcome I've got to offer you.

03:12:59.000 And I want to tell you that I'm living on the same ground that I've lived on for 75 long years when I come here as an 18-year-old bride.

03:13:15.000 I went to Washington 50 years and a little more ago.

03:13:20.000 I saw all the people around there and had been with the presidents.

03:13:24.000 And I learned a great many things up there that I didn't know before.

03:13:30.000 I'll add a little more to it.

03:13:31.000 I was one of the Board of Leader Managers for the Chicago Exposition.

03:13:36.000 And I served my full time in Chicago and learned a good many things over there.

03:13:43.000 I was a delegate to the Tennessee Centennial Exposition.

03:13:47.000 I was a delegate to St. Louis, a juror at St. Louis.

03:13:52.000 I think for a North Georgia cracker of my size and age, I've had a pretty good education on that line.

03:13:59.000 That do all right?

03:14:00.000 I was a three-year-old girl when the Indians were moved from this country to Indian territory.

03:14:09.000 I have an indistinct recollection of seeing the Red Men as they went through the Woods, for everything was woods nearly at that time.

03:14:19.000 I have a distinct impression if a three-year-old child can have it.

03:14:25.000 Nevertheless, I've been here since that time, and I've seen the march of progress all the way.

03:14:31.000 At that time, we had only stagecoaches, and we only had horses and buggies, and we had lots of foot-back travelers.

03:14:41.000 Now I've seen it come along all this way.

03:14:45.000 And a plane goes over this, over my house, going on its way, and it's got to be such a common thing, the old girl don't go even out to see if she can look at it. 1.00

03:14:57.000 Isn't that wild?

03:14:58.000 Oh my god.

03:14:59.000 Isn't that wild?

03:15:00.000 So it says she was born in 1835 and she was interviewed on camera in 1929. This lady was 15, 16 years old when the Civil War started.

03:15:11.000 That's so wild.

03:15:12.000 That woman has memories, actual real memories of it. 1.00

03:15:16.000 Yeah, that's wild.

03:15:16.000 She's almost 100 years old there.

03:15:18.000 You know what's something I saw the other day?

03:15:19.000 Do you know that the last person whose father fought in the Civil War only died like three years ago?

03:15:28.000 There was a guy who was alive who he, the guy who just died, lived till he was like 100. His father fought in the Civil War when his father was like 15 and had him when he was 84, something like that.

03:15:43.000 Oh my God.

03:15:43.000 And the guy, so there was a guy living three years ago whose father, biological father, fought in the Civil War.

03:15:50.000 Holy fuck. 1.00

03:15:51.000 I was like, that's sick. 1.00

03:15:52.000 The woman who died in 2020 was the last recipient of the Civil War pension.

03:15:56.000 Wow. 1.00

03:15:57.000 Holy shit. 1.00

03:15:58.000 Oh my god. 1.00

03:16:00.000 Holy shit. 0.97

03:16:01.000 Dude, that's, I mean, it's why, because why when you think about like all this stuff that we think is so long ago, it's not really that long ago. 0.96

03:16:08.000 Well, I had a bit in my act in one of my specials, my last special, where I talked about people think the United States is old.

03:16:13.000 I go, but the United States was formed in 1776. People lived to be 100. Well, that's three people ago.

03:16:20.000 Yeah.

03:16:21.000 That's real.

03:16:22.000 Three people.

03:16:23.000 That's three people ago.

03:16:23.000 Ten people ago, Genghis Khan was running through China and lighting cities on fire.

03:16:28.000 Ten people ago.

03:16:29.000 Yeah.

03:16:29.000 Less.

03:16:30.000 Really.

03:16:32.000 I don't know if anyone's ever asked you this.

03:16:34.000 Probably they have.

03:16:35.000 I'm a hack.

03:16:36.000 If you could have any person in history on the pod, who would it be?

03:16:42.000 Would it be somebody like a con?

03:16:44.000 I don't know, man.

03:16:46.000 If it was only one person, I'd be like, I don't even know if I want to make that decision. 0.98

03:16:50.000 Because who the fuck, I mean, who would I choose? 0.99

03:16:53.000 I feel like you wouldn't do Jesus. 0.99

03:16:54.000 There's so many interesting people.

03:16:54.000 You wouldn't have Jesus.

03:16:56.000 Well, what if you found out that Jesus wasn't even real?

03:16:58.000 They'd say, I'll have Jesus in the podcast, and then you got him.

03:17:00.000 There it is.

03:17:01.000 There's no Jesus.

03:17:01.000 Well, do you ever read like the accounts of Jesus where there was like 20 other people in that 30-year span claiming they were Jesus?

03:17:08.000 Like, he was just one of many people at that time.

03:17:10.000 They think like, you know, Christianity or the Bible just picked one.

03:17:15.000 It's possible.

03:17:16.000 You know, I mean, there's a lot of speculation about how many different versions of that exist.

03:17:22.000 Like, even Thor, right?

03:17:24.000 Isn't Thor, like, the son of Odin?

03:17:28.000 Isn't there, like, some similarities in the story of Thor to the story of Jesus?

03:17:32.000 The problem is like these stories were all told in oral tradition for like a thousand years before they've been written down.

03:17:39.000 The gospels, I think the earliest gospel I'm guessing was like Matthew.

03:17:43.000 It was written like 50 years after Jesus lived.

03:17:47.000 Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, they never lived with Jesus.

03:17:49.000 Well, this is the New Testament, right?

03:17:50.000 And then you've got to go with the Old Testament where you're really into these stories that were an oral tradition.

03:17:56.000 The New Testament is weird because Constantine and a bunch of bishops decided what's in it.

03:17:59.000 The Council of Nicaea.

03:18:00.000 They were like, hey, we're going to pick this, pick that.

03:18:03.000 Imagine, this is what I think God said?

03:18:04.000 I don't think God said that, bro.

03:18:06.000 Let's get rid of that.

03:18:07.000 My mother's like, you'll go to hell if you eat meat on Good Friday. 1.00

03:18:10.000 I'm like, but the Pope who decided that just ran a fish business.

03:18:14.000 That's the truth.

03:18:15.000 He just ran a business.

03:18:16.000 Is that really true?

03:18:16.000 Yeah, he owned like a bunch of fish markets.

03:18:18.000 He was like, oh yeah, no meat Fridays. 0.99

03:18:20.000 Because he makes more fucking money. 0.99

03:18:21.000 That's really what it was? 1.00

03:18:22.000 Yes.

03:18:23.000 No.

03:18:23.000 Yeah, well, Jamie ran out.

03:18:24.000 Jamie just went to pee.

03:18:25.000 When Jamie comes back.

03:18:27.000 We need to Google that.

03:18:28.000 That's the story I heard. 0.99

03:18:29.000 That's fucking insane. 1.00

03:18:29.000 How insane is that? 1.00

03:18:30.000 When you look back, you're like, wait, what?

03:18:32.000 But it makes sense.

03:18:33.000 You know, and the other thing about like priests being celibate.

03:18:36.000 Like, why are they celibate?

03:18:37.000 Because they were rock stars. 0.99

03:18:38.000 They were fucking everybody. 0.99

03:18:39.000 Everything. 1.00

03:18:40.000 They were probably fucking everybody and everything. 1.00

03:18:41.000 Because they said, God told you to suck my dick. 1.00

03:18:43.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:18:43.000 It's what it is. 1.00

03:18:44.000 You don't believe me?

03:18:45.000 Yeah.

03:18:45.000 They couldn't read the Bible.

03:18:47.000 No.

03:18:47.000 Most people were, like, illiterate in, like, reading Latin.

03:18:52.000 Like, who the fuck knows how to read Latin? 1.00

03:18:54.000 Who the fuck knows what that's saying? 0.99

03:18:56.000 So when Martin Luther came along and they gave, like, a phonetic version of the Bible that you could read and then told you to interpret it yourself, like, figure out what God said to yourself, it created a giant uproar. 0.99

03:19:08.000 They almost killed him for it.

03:19:09.000 Right.

03:19:09.000 Yeah.

03:19:09.000 No, I know.

03:19:10.000 Well, even like the Old Testament, like, you know, if you would have told me two years ago, oh, you know, Noah's Ark, is it real?

03:19:15.000 I'd be like, no way.

03:19:16.000 But now I'm like, when you listen to these, you know, people talk about, well, there was a mass flooding and the ice polar caps and all that.

03:19:22.000 It's like, it didn't happen like that.

03:19:24.000 That's a story. 0.98

03:19:25.000 But there probably were a lot of people just on fucking boats where their land got flooded. 0.99

03:19:28.000 Right. 0.99

03:19:28.000 A hundred percent. 0.99

03:19:29.000 That's just real.

03:19:29.000 I think a hundred percent.

03:19:30.000 I think there's probably a lot of civilizations that went under because of natural disasters.

03:19:35.000 And the theory is that if you're in a regional area that experiences like a volcanic eruption, like Pompeii or something, but even before that, like even further back, a thousand years before Pompeii.

03:19:46.000 No one has any fucking idea what happened. 0.88

03:19:49.000 Everybody's dead. 0.99

03:19:50.000 Everybody's dead and you have stories that get passed on.

03:19:53.000 No one's writing anything down.

03:19:54.000 Yeah, I saw...

03:19:55.000 I think it was the Instagram...

03:19:56.000 It might have been history before us.

03:19:57.000 I'm not sure what Instagram account it was.

03:19:59.000 But it was one of these history Instagram accounts I follow.

03:20:02.000 And they had like a piece of...

03:20:04.000 I don't know what...

03:20:05.000 It's not paper.

03:20:06.000 Whatever the material it was.

03:20:07.000 It was like in the...

03:20:07.000 Oh, wait a minute.

03:20:08.000 Stop.

03:20:09.000 We've got to get Jamie to Google that before we forget.

03:20:11.000 Oh, what were we talking about?

03:20:13.000 The...

03:20:13.000 Oh, oh.

03:20:14.000 No, with...

03:20:16.000 Fish.

03:20:16.000 You know, you can't eat meat on Good Friday, on Fridays during Lent or Good Friday.

03:20:21.000 And I think that story came about because when the Pope who was in charge, whoever decided that 500 years ago, owned a fish market.

03:20:30.000 And that's why he did it.

03:20:31.000 It was a business decision.

03:20:32.000 So I don't know how to Google that because I don't know the names.

03:20:34.000 That's a lot of action.

03:20:36.000 But I bet that'll come up.

03:20:37.000 It totally makes sense.

03:20:39.000 Yeah.

03:20:39.000 As it makes sense with the celibacy thing.

03:20:42.000 Of course they had to be celibate.

03:20:43.000 Yeah.

03:20:43.000 Yeah, and it's very unnatural.

03:20:45.000 It's like, why would you choose the hardest thing to abstain from?

03:20:50.000 Sex? 1.00

03:20:50.000 It's like, of course you're going to go fuck outside of it, or the fuck with the kid thing, I don't know. 1.00

03:20:54.000 Well, this is horrific, but how come this one group, Catholics, are the ones that have to abstain, but the Baptists are allowed to have sex? 1.00

03:21:02.000 It's ridiculous. 1.00

03:21:04.000 It doesn't make any sense. 0.93

03:21:04.000 I'm sure there's something in history, though, that talks, I'm sure that there's some reason why they did that. 0.93

03:21:11.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:21:11.000 Maybe the guy in charge at that point, he wanted to keep all the pussy for himself. 0.99

03:21:16.000 Maybe the king, his wife got fucked by one of the priests. 1.00

03:21:19.000 A hundred percent. 1.00

03:21:20.000 Oh, you think you're cute?

03:21:20.000 Okay.

03:21:21.000 No more sex. 0.58

03:21:21.000 I just talked to God. 0.58

03:21:23.000 A thousand percent.

03:21:23.000 And we've got new rules.

03:21:24.000 But I was saying that the Egyptian thing I saw... 0.68

03:21:28.000 There's something to it.

03:21:29.000 I was trying to read through this.

03:21:30.000 There's a lot to read through, but there's something to it.

03:21:31.000 The Fishy Tale Behind Eating Fish on Friday.

03:21:34.000 So the title is Lust, Lies, and Empire.

03:21:36.000 The Fishy Tale Behind Eating Fish on Friday.

03:21:39.000 And so it says here...

03:21:41.000 It's a long piece.

03:21:42.000 But it was a powerful medieval pope.

03:21:44.000 But it seems like it.

03:21:44.000 Something happened in the 1500s.

03:21:47.000 And it says at some point here it was a political thing to be eating fish.

03:21:52.000 Oh, it was King Henry VIII times.

03:21:53.000 Nice.

03:21:54.000 That'd be a guy.

03:21:55.000 Something then got reinstated in 1960. Would you want to interact with him or would you want to just be around and watch as like a silent, invisible observer?

03:22:03.000 That's what I would want. 0.99

03:22:04.000 See, a lot of people want to go for fat fuck King Henry VIII. I'd like to see jacked in shape King Henry VIII. I want to see that guy. 0.99

03:22:10.000 Oh, he's probably a...

03:22:11.000 But imagine how cruel those people were.

03:22:13.000 Like how many people they killed that just like they didn't like the way they looked at them.

03:22:16.000 Yeah, it was like ants to them. 1.00

03:22:18.000 Just kill them all. 1.00

03:22:19.000 And then it's crazy he's killing all these women and he's the one that's determining the sex. 1.00

03:22:22.000 Well, what's crazy also is that when you're talking about people that lived back then, they're essentially serial killers.

03:22:28.000 But they're serial killers who are at the throne.

03:22:30.000 Yes.

03:22:31.000 So it's wild. 1.00

03:22:32.000 So like what you're talking about, Richard Ramirez or Henry Lee Lucas or fucking any of these serial killers that we know of, that's what the fucking king was. 1.00

03:22:39.000 The king was a goddamn thrill killer. 1.00

03:22:41.000 Yeah, that's all he did. 1.00

03:22:42.000 That was the son of Sam, just with a crown on.

03:22:45.000 With a crown on.

03:22:46.000 Imagine the son of Sam being the king of England.

03:22:49.000 He probably thinks he's the king of England in jail.

03:22:54.000 Dude, we gotta end this.

03:22:55.000 It's almost five o'clock.

03:22:56.000 How long did we make?

03:22:58.000 More than three hours.

03:22:59.000 Did we make it more than three hours?

03:23:00.000 That's all that my comic buddy said.

03:23:02.000 That's how you know as a comic, if you had a good episode, if you have to make three hours. 0.99

03:23:06.000 If not, you suck. 0.99

03:23:06.000 It was great. 0.99

03:23:07.000 So we made it three hours.

03:23:08.000 I didn't fail, Mom.

03:23:10.000 I'm sure we pissed a lot of people off with the anxiety talk and stuff.

03:23:13.000 Well, hey, I'm not on Twitter, so...

03:23:15.000 Well, I am, but...

03:23:16.000 You just hide from them.

03:23:17.000 Yeah.

03:23:17.000 I just want to be clear that I'm not trying to diminish people's mental health.

03:23:21.000 I just always wonder, like, what's the cause of it?

03:23:23.000 And I wonder how much of it is biological and how much of it is just patterns of behavior.

03:23:28.000 Because I think there's two factors.

03:23:30.000 Obviously, there's a lot of factors.

03:23:32.000 But those two ones are big ones.

03:23:33.000 Yeah.

03:23:34.000 You know, like how much of it is just something you're born with and how much of it is what you've experienced.

03:23:40.000 Well, it's crazy that you even have to, we both even have to say that now.

03:23:44.000 It's like that's what stifles creativity.

03:23:46.000 Yeah, but it doesn't necessarily stifle it.

03:23:48.000 It's just you have to be clear.

03:23:49.000 Right.

03:23:50.000 You know, you just have to be clear.

03:23:51.000 And we're, it's so far apart.

03:23:53.000 We're just trying to learn.

03:23:54.000 Yeah, that's the thing.

03:23:55.000 It's like people are also looking for things to talk about. 0.90

03:23:58.000 And when you talk about it, just like if someone on the view says something stupid, I'm going to talk about it. 0.97

03:24:02.000 The Amber Heard trial. 0.98

03:24:03.000 The Amber Heard-Johnny Depp trial. 1.00

03:24:05.000 I mean, it's so stupid. 1.00

03:24:06.000 I'm talking about it all the time. 1.00

03:24:07.000 Oh, we should probably leave on this.

03:24:08.000 Did you see that she got busted talking about having a bruise kit? 0.99

03:24:13.000 Did you see that?

03:24:13.000 Remember her?

03:24:14.000 If she was Puerto Rican, I would be all into that. 1.00

03:24:18.000 She had a tattoo on her tit. 0.99

03:24:19.000 I like crazy girls. 1.00

03:24:21.000 Shit in the bed is crazy, though. 1.00

03:24:23.000 That's next level crazy. 1.00

03:24:24.000 That's pretty wild.

03:24:25.000 It's all pretty wild. 0.79

03:24:27.000 Goddammit, who did I send it to? 0.90

03:24:28.000 I have to find who I sent it to.

03:24:30.000 Oh, I know who I sent it to.

03:24:32.000 It's so nutty that...

03:24:35.000 That this is being aired out in front of everybody.

03:24:39.000 Is it a video?

03:24:41.000 There's some video going around that's not...

03:24:42.000 I just looked it up.

03:24:43.000 Apparently it's been edited.

03:24:45.000 Well, when she says she had a bruise kit, that's edited?

03:24:49.000 All I'm saying is...

03:24:50.000 What's a bruise kit?

03:24:51.000 There's a fact check going around on Newsweek.

03:24:52.000 Did she leave a bruise kit in a photo? 0.96

03:24:55.000 No, no, no.

03:24:55.000 It's not...

03:24:56.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

03:24:57.000 But she says...

03:24:59.000 I'm asking.

03:24:59.000 Okay, I'm not sure either.

03:25:00.000 But she said bruise kit.

03:25:02.000 That's why...

03:25:04.000 Heard's, quote, bruise kit comment sparked conversation among TikTok users, a number of whom asserted that bruise kits are usually used to apply the appearance of bruises rather than cover them up.

03:25:16.000 But she corrects herself.

03:25:17.000 It says it was edited here.

03:25:19.000 What was edited?

03:25:20.000 As the second-slung video comes to its conclusion, it was further edited to add Heard referring to her makeup palette as a bruise kit before correcting herself.

03:25:27.000 Wow.

03:25:29.000 Footage later cut to a breakdown of what is believed to have been the pallet.

03:25:32.000 So I just make...

03:25:33.000 I don't know if this is what we're seeing or...

03:25:35.000 That's one.

03:25:36.000 Is that the same one I sent you?

03:25:38.000 I didn't check that you sent me something yet.

03:25:40.000 Hold on.

03:25:40.000 I think that's the same one I sent you.

03:25:42.000 Hmm.

03:25:44.000 And they're making...

03:25:45.000 Just like...

03:25:45.000 A bruise kit is apparently a thing that they use in makeup to make it look like you've been bruised.

03:25:50.000 It looks like it's the same thing.

03:25:52.000 Why would either one of them do this, though?

03:25:55.000 Why even go through this public trial?

03:25:57.000 Well, he's doing it because she wrote an op-ed, which turns out she didn't even write the op-ed.

03:26:01.000 Someone from the ACLU says they ghostwrote the op-ed, and the op-ed was about her being a domestic abuse survivor.

03:26:08.000 And so that made Johnny Depp unemployable, because it made it look like Johnny Depp was beating people up.

03:26:13.000 And that's how he got fired from the Pirates of the Caribbean, that, and also the fact that He lost another lawsuit in the UK. But I feel like this is even making him, even if he comes out on top, it's making him more unemployable.

03:26:24.000 Because wouldn't you be like, I don't even want to deal with this guy?

03:26:26.000 I don't think so.

03:26:26.000 I think, if anything, it shows that there are manipulative people of both sexes.

03:26:32.000 And that a person who's a good guy who happens to have a penis... 1.00

03:26:35.000 She could get railroaded by a woman who's just completely full of shit. 1.00

03:26:40.000 And one of the things you see in cross-examination, just these stories, they don't make sense. 1.00

03:26:44.000 She's talking like a crazy person. 0.55

03:26:46.000 And the vast majority of people that are watching do not believe her. 0.99

03:26:49.000 They do not believe her.

03:26:50.000 So that's good for Johnny.

03:26:51.000 Because all these years, she's been this beautiful girl that says that Johnny, who does a lot of coke and likes to drink, was beating her up.

03:26:57.000 I'm like, well, that's what people who do a lot of coke and drink do.

03:26:59.000 But it turns out then there's recordings of her talking and admitting to beating him up.

03:27:04.000 Yeah, yeah, that's not good.

03:27:05.000 And then she cut the tip of his finger off. 0.99

03:27:06.000 And then, you know, there's a lot.

03:27:08.000 There's a lot.

03:27:09.000 Imagine Johnny Depp has to start a Patreon.

03:27:11.000 He's fine.

03:27:12.000 That's not the problem.

03:27:13.000 The problem is he's trying to clear his name.

03:27:15.000 Yeah.

03:27:15.000 And he's trying to do it and make a point.

03:27:17.000 And it's crazy that he has to do this.

03:27:19.000 I know.

03:27:19.000 It's crazy that he's willing to do this, too.

03:27:20.000 I agree with you.

03:27:21.000 Yeah.

03:27:22.000 It's nuts.

03:27:22.000 We've never seen it before.

03:27:23.000 But do you know anybody that's ever been railroaded like this before, this bad?

03:27:27.000 Railroad or like that.

03:27:28.000 Where someone pretends that they were the victim and they were really the abuser.

03:27:32.000 What happened was, I don't know about that specific thing, but my boys, I wasn't there.

03:27:38.000 My boys went on a bachelorette, a bachelor party to Nashville and one of my friends Hooked up with a girl, just ran, you know, bachelor, bachelor party, ran them in Nashville, right?

03:27:48.000 Next morning, doesn't, you know, barely knows her even, you know, but all consensual, all good.

03:27:53.000 Not even that drunk.

03:27:54.000 Like, they just hooked up.

03:27:55.000 Everybody saw them.

03:27:56.000 The bachelorette party saw this girl kindling with him and blah, blah, blah.

03:27:59.000 Next morning, wakes up cops from the police department bringing him in for rape.

03:28:05.000 And he was like, what?

03:28:08.000 And they were like, accusations, this, that.

03:28:11.000 He goes...

03:28:12.000 Has to hire, you know, gets out, has to hire an attorney before the court, before it even gets to the trial.

03:28:19.000 Like this man, like his whole life, like you have to understand how much this consumed him because he did not do this.

03:28:24.000 We all know he didn't do it.

03:28:25.000 Even her own friends knew he didn't do it.

03:28:26.000 This missing link was she was engaged and the guy found out that... 0.70

03:28:32.000 Like, she fucked somebody the night before because she drunk texted or something, whatever the story was, and then went right to that.

03:28:39.000 And then, so I'm not saying that, you know, that's just one specific story, but I saw it. 0.72

03:28:44.000 He was like, dude, I'm going to like, he almost like, he was, I want to say close because if someone says they kill themselves, I don't know when they actually do it, but he was like, in the group text being like, I can't handle this.

03:28:52.000 Like, I did not do this.

03:28:53.000 And then...

03:28:55.000 Out of nowhere, her lawyers called his lawyers and were like, she's calling it off, like we're calling it off and just it's over.

03:29:01.000 Like that.

03:29:02.000 And I was like, wow. 0.98

03:29:04.000 Like out of fucking nowhere that happened. 1.00

03:29:07.000 Now that's a random crazy fucking person. 1.00

03:29:09.000 And so there's no repercussions either, which is really wild. 1.00

03:29:12.000 So someone can make a false accusation that completely turns your life upside down and ruins you.

03:29:17.000 And also has you labeled.

03:29:18.000 Like the people that knew the accusation maybe don't want to hire you because what if it's true?

03:29:22.000 And what if the woman was intimidated or paid off? 0.87

03:29:24.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:29:25.000 Dude, I fucking bombed a corporate gig three nights ago because in the front row, there was mostly white, rich people, and there was a, I think he was a gay guy, black gay guy in the front row, and he kept cutting me off. 1.00

03:29:39.000 He was like, you racist motherfucker! 1.00

03:29:41.000 He just kept calling me racist. 1.00

03:29:42.000 And I was like, what are you talking about?

03:29:44.000 I was like, I'm not racist.

03:29:45.000 I've tried to do bits.

03:29:46.000 I was like, I know I got a cop head and whatever, but I'm a good guy.

03:29:49.000 And I kept trying to say, I was like, I have a bit about having a Puerto Rican kid.

03:29:52.000 I was like, oh, I got a Puerto Rican kid. 1.00

03:29:54.000 He was like, just because you talk about dating Puerto Ricans doesn't mean you're not a white motherfucker. 1.00

03:29:59.000 You all kill, you kill my people. 1.00

03:30:01.000 That's what he kept saying. 1.00

03:30:02.000 And nobody knows what to do.

03:30:03.000 I don't know what- This isn't a corporate gig? 0.99

03:30:05.000 This is a corporate gig in the front fucking row. 0.99

03:30:07.000 So I am- Bombing! 0.99

03:30:09.000 Like, you can't believe it. 1.00

03:30:10.000 And then I finally said, I said, dude, the only way in 2022 I can get out of this being a white man and you being a black man is if I get on my knees and start sucking your cock, which I'm willing to do. 1.00

03:30:19.000 And I thought that would get a laugh. 1.00

03:30:20.000 That fucking bomb. 1.00

03:30:22.000 So... 1.00

03:30:23.000 So I... So I've...

03:30:28.000 Oh my god, I wish I was there.

03:30:30.000 So I finally say to the guy who's running the event in the middle of the show, I said, hey, Mike, did you guys wire the money already to the agency?

03:30:39.000 Or am I getting checked into the show?

03:30:40.000 He goes, no, we wired it already.

03:30:41.000 Put the mic in the center and said, have a good night, folks.

03:30:44.000 That's very nice of you.

03:30:45.000 Now, did it start off good?

03:30:47.000 Was it ever good?

03:30:50.000 Um...

03:30:50.000 No.

03:30:51.000 It started off sucky.

03:30:52.000 It started off...

03:30:54.000 No, no, no.

03:30:54.000 I wouldn't say it started off sucky.

03:30:55.000 As you know, corporate gigs are hard gigs. 0.92

03:30:57.000 Yeah, but isn't it amazing that someone could be confident enough that they could do that and interrupt a show and yell shit like that out at you and know they're not going to get fired for that? 0.97

03:31:08.000 Zero! 0.97

03:31:08.000 Well, that's what I see here. 0.97

03:31:09.000 Well, I even said to him, I said, anything I said, it kept getting worse and worse.

03:31:14.000 I said to the guy who was heckling, because there was a head guy, a boss, and I was like, do you work for this man?

03:31:20.000 He goes, why can't I be a partner?

03:31:22.000 Why do I have to be an employee? 0.92

03:31:23.000 Because I'm black?

03:31:24.000 I was like, literally, no. 0.99

03:31:26.000 I was like, I'm genuinely just trying to get out of this fucking alive. 0.98

03:31:29.000 But it was like one of those, and it just kept getting worse and worse and worse, and nobody was laughing, especially the rich white millionaires were like, we can't even touch this. 0.99

03:31:37.000 They can't touch it.

03:31:37.000 They can't howl at this.

03:31:38.000 And I was like, fucking shit! 1.00

03:31:41.000 And dude, it was one of those things where I just left and I was like, what am I doing? 1.00

03:31:45.000 One corporate gig I did, I did a corporate gig for Steve Cohen, the owner of the Mets, who's actually a fucking great guy.

03:31:50.000 And it was like his 60th birthday party or something like that. 0.76

03:31:54.000 And...

03:31:55.000 His wife did it as a surprise, and it's like some 60-year-old billionaire doesn't want to see me doing comedy.

03:32:02.000 They either want to see Seinfeld or strippers.

03:32:04.000 They don't know who I am.

03:32:05.000 I have a podcast. 0.99

03:32:06.000 And I'm doing the show fucking bombing. 0.99

03:32:13.000 Tommy Mottola was there, you know, and I'm bombing. 0.99

03:32:16.000 And then, dude, first of all, somebody threw a crab cake at me, hit me right off the chest in the middle of the show.

03:32:20.000 I was like, I was standing at the edge of a table.

03:32:21.000 It was eight guys at a table, just at a table, no microphone, pure daylight, in the middle of the pandemic.

03:32:26.000 Nobody said anything.

03:32:28.000 The guy, this guy was like introducing me.

03:32:30.000 He was like, yeah, who threw a crab cake at you? 1.00

03:32:32.000 Some fucking guy. 1.00

03:32:33.000 I don't know. 1.00

03:32:34.000 And then it started laughing.

03:32:35.000 And then Tommy Mottola.

03:32:37.000 I was like, oh, Tommy Mottola.

03:32:39.000 I said, you know, I was a big fan of your ex-wife, Mariah Carey.

03:32:43.000 I said I had a lot of posters up in my locker room. 0.99

03:32:46.000 He goes, I bet you have a lot of fucking pictures of cock up, too. 0.99

03:32:50.000 And I was like, yes. 0.99

03:32:51.000 And then, you know, that got like a big laugh.

03:32:53.000 And then finally, I'm like, maybe 10 minutes into what was supposed to be a 30-minute set, and Steve stops me.

03:33:00.000 He goes...

03:33:02.000 How about this?

03:33:02.000 He goes, what did my wife tell you to do?

03:33:04.000 I said, 30 minutes.

03:33:05.000 He goes, I'll give you twice the money right now to do five more minutes.

03:33:09.000 Just do five minutes, but give me your five best minutes, and I will double your money right now.

03:33:14.000 And then I just fucking stuck in, and I did that Letterman set. 0.99

03:33:19.000 I may believe I was in that big fucking suit. 0.98

03:33:22.000 John Travolta was there, had his hand on my chest, and I just did that set, and he doubled the money. 0.98

03:33:27.000 Really?

03:33:27.000 Yeah, right then and there.

03:33:28.000 And then you got offstage?

03:33:30.000 Then I got offstage.

03:33:30.000 And then he became kind of like, his son was there, who's like, listened to the podcast or whatever.

03:33:35.000 He's a great guy.

03:33:36.000 Shout out Josh.

03:33:37.000 They had me go to Mets games.

03:33:39.000 I still go to, I'm like friends with them now, which is, they're amazing people.

03:33:43.000 It's a rain delay?

03:33:44.000 In the first game, the first time I saw Steve Cohen again since I bombed, it's a rain delay?

03:33:48.000 Steve goes, why don't you get up on the mic and start doing comedy?

03:33:52.000 For Citi Field, who's sitting there in a rain delay, angry Mets fans that were losing there just got knocked out of the playoffs, they give me a microphone in the fucking booth, like the newscasters booth, and I'm doing now, he goes, just start doing comedy, like make the people laugh. 0.99

03:34:07.000 And now I'm bombing, but at least that one I couldn't hear, because I'm just in a newscaster's booth, just eating shit. 0.98

03:34:13.000 So you can't even hear the laughs? 0.99

03:34:14.000 Well, no.

03:34:15.000 Or lack of?

03:34:16.000 Nothing, but my friends, thank God I have great friends like this, my friends who are dire Mets fans at every Mets game, were recording me bombing on the outside, and they graciously gave me that. 0.99

03:34:27.000 Chris DiStefano, you're a funny motherfucker. 0.97

03:34:28.000 Thank you for having me, my friend. 0.99

03:34:30.000 I had a good time.

03:34:30.000 It was a lot of fun.

03:34:31.000 I appreciate it, brother.

03:34:32.000 Tell everybody where your podcast is, social media, all that stuff.

03:34:36.000 So, chrisdcomedy.com for everything.

03:34:39.000 I got the Chrissy K.S. podcast on Tuesdays.

03:34:40.000 Hey, Babe, with my great friend Sal Bocano every Thursday.

03:34:43.000 And then patreon.com slash chrisdcomedy where I feel my best content is.

03:34:46.000 And I'll be in Providence in July.

03:34:50.000 Brea Improv at the end of August, and I got a bunch of dates coming up for the fall.

03:34:53.000 And Specially Weshy is available on Netflix.

03:34:55.000 On Netflix.

03:34:56.000 Self-produced.

03:34:56.000 15 minutes of it on YouTube.

03:34:57.000 Will be on YouTube.

03:34:58.000 And then another 10 minutes is going to come at patreon.com slash Christy Comedy next month.

03:35:02.000 I didn't give Netflix everything, baby. 0.98

03:35:04.000 I'm trying to do this shit the new way. 0.98

03:35:05.000 All right. 0.99

03:35:06.000 Bits and pieces.

03:35:07.000 Beautiful.

03:35:07.000 All right.

03:35:08.000 That was a lot of fun.

03:35:08.000 Thank you.

03:35:09.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 24, 2022

Joe Rogan Experience #1822 - Chris DiStefano

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