The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1823 - Neal Brennan

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:05.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:13.000 Hey, buddy.

00:00:14.000 What's going on?

00:00:15.000 What are you doing?

00:00:15.000 You're slowly opening that bottle.

00:00:16.000 This is the same podcast we used to do in your basement, right?

00:00:19.000 Basically.

00:00:20.000 Yeah, it's just a little different.

00:00:21.000 Same one, just scaled out?

00:00:22.000 It's not much different.

00:00:24.000 What happened to it?

00:00:25.000 I was wondering what happened to it.

00:00:26.000 And then I got an email that said, your friend Joe's doing a podcast in Austin.

00:00:33.000 Congrats, buddy.

00:00:34.000 Thanks, man.

00:00:36.000 You don't seem to care that much, which I like.

00:00:40.000 What does that mean?

00:00:41.000 You just did like, no.

00:00:42.000 I'm the same person.

00:00:43.000 You've never been especially susceptible to...

00:00:48.000 I feel like fame was eased on you, like, incrementally, and then, like, a lot at once, but you were so used to that you were just like, hmm.

00:00:55.000 Yeah, I can handle it.

00:00:56.000 It's weird.

00:00:57.000 It's not normal.

00:00:59.000 It's definitely not, you don't want to take it all in one shot. 0.93

00:01:03.000 Like, if you, like, a Demi Lovato-type character or some young celebrity, I fucking pity those people so much. 0.96

00:01:11.000 Under 30, you have no chance. 0.98

00:01:13.000 Sigh.

00:01:13.000 I don't know how they do.

00:01:14.000 I mean, I got on television when I was 26 or 27, the first show that I ever did, and I wasn't famous.

00:01:22.000 You know, I was like, oh, there's a guy that I think I might have saw you on TV. And then it's like slowly over time built to Fear Factor, and then the UFC, and then ultimately the podcast.

00:01:33.000 And then, you know, then the latest version of the podcast, which is just impossible to handle. 1.00

00:01:39.000 If you were a normal person that just went right into that, you would lose your fucking mind. 0.99

00:01:43.000 You wouldn't be able to adjust. 1.00

00:01:45.000 You've developed antibodies to that.

00:01:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:01:47.000 You know what's happening.

00:01:48.000 You're like, oh, you know when someone's hovering.

00:01:52.000 You know what they want.

00:01:56.000 That's the bummer.

00:01:58.000 Not the pictures are fine.

00:02:00.000 The bummer is when people want things from you. 0.98

00:02:02.000 They want to talk to you about some fucking thing that they're doing, a startup. 0.96

00:02:08.000 Man, the idea that I would have enough time to do that with you. 0.99

00:02:13.000 People will just come to you with their projects or they want you to invest in their company.

00:02:18.000 I don't have time for that.

00:02:19.000 Well, you don't need to pay attention.

00:02:20.000 That's how you go broke.

00:02:22.000 That's how you go, bro.

00:02:23.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:02:23.000 I have people that I... And then suddenly I look at my bottom line at some point.

00:02:30.000 I'm like, wait, where's all the money?

00:02:31.000 Where did all that money go?

00:02:32.000 To the car wash. 0.99

00:02:34.000 Or something even dumber. 0.99

00:02:36.000 To the topless car wash. 0.99

00:02:37.000 Yeah, some solar company that you're starting up.

00:02:44.000 Can you tell me about Austin quickly?

00:02:46.000 I love it.

00:02:47.000 It's great.

00:02:48.000 People are super friendly, really kind.

00:02:51.000 There's way less of them.

00:02:52.000 Traffic is a joke. 0.91

00:02:53.000 It's ridiculous.

00:02:54.000 They think traffic's bad. 0.95

00:02:55.000 It's funny.

00:02:56.000 It's funny.

00:02:57.000 Their traffic bad is like, it took me five extra minutes.

00:03:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:03:02.000 There's a thing that happens when you get too many people.

00:03:05.000 It's like, you don't care about them anymore.

00:03:07.000 They become a burden.

00:03:08.000 And that's what happens when you get the 405 at like 4 in the afternoon. 1.00

00:03:11.000 You're like, fuck this! 1.00

00:03:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:03:13.000 Where it's just like, you can't believe you have to get to Redondo. 1.00

00:03:16.000 You resent everyone.

00:03:18.000 Everyone.

00:03:18.000 Literally everyone.

00:03:20.000 Ambulance driver, fucking everyone. 0.99

00:03:21.000 I went to visit a friend of mine and he was down, I think it was like Newport Beach. 1.00

00:03:25.000 And it took me three hours to get there. 0.97

00:03:28.000 I was like, this is fucking insane. 0.87

00:03:30.000 This should be a 45-minute drive. 0.97

00:03:32.000 Ian Edwards has been doing a joke about how he started driving places during COVID to see how long it took.

00:03:39.000 See how long it really takes.

00:03:41.000 But that's LA. It's just unnecessary.

00:03:46.000 It's unnecessary.

00:03:47.000 And I'm completely removed from regular Hollywood now, so there's no reason to be there.

00:03:54.000 Yeah.

00:03:54.000 Well, regular Hollywood is...

00:03:57.000 Kind of dumb. 1.00

00:03:57.000 Yeah, like sort of... 1.00

00:03:58.000 I don't even know what that is.

00:04:01.000 Comedy Central?

00:04:01.000 When people go, we're doing a movie.

00:04:03.000 I mean, Comedy Central's a production company at this point.

00:04:06.000 They're like barely a TV station.

00:04:09.000 They're like a...

00:04:10.000 What do they have on?

00:04:12.000 They have South Park and The Daily Show.

00:04:14.000 Those are the only things that are like stalwarts.

00:04:18.000 And they're both on Paramount Plus and you can get them in a bunch of places and Hulu.

00:04:25.000 So I think they basically canceled most of their stuff and sold it to Warner Brothers.

00:04:34.000 They sold all their library to Netflix and HBO Max.

00:04:41.000 So I don't know what they are.

00:04:43.000 They just, I mean, the writing was on the wall.

00:04:46.000 When I saw what happened with Ari, and this is not happening, when they fucked that up, I was like, Jesus Christ.

00:04:52.000 And that was about him doing an hour for them, right?

00:04:54.000 It was about him doing an hour for Netflix.

00:04:56.000 He got an offer for Netflix, which was more money, and more exposure, and a bigger deal, and he decided to do that.

00:05:03.000 And by the way, this is a special that he produced himself.

00:05:06.000 Self-produced, bought it, you know, paid for it, did the whole thing.

00:05:11.000 And they said that if you do it at Netflix, even though he was legally able to do it at Netflix, contractually able to do it at Netflix, if you do it at Netflix, we're going to cancel your show. 1.00

00:05:20.000 He's like, you fucking cunts. 0.99

00:05:22.000 Well, what's fucked up is I know other people on Comedy Central that were able to go to Netflix. 1.00

00:05:26.000 Oh, yeah. 0.85

00:05:27.000 And they were just like, yeah.

00:05:29.000 I don't know what the deal was, why they decided to do it that way with him, but he had gotten to the point where he was willing to pay.

00:05:38.000 He was going to pay for the production costs in terms of everyone's salaries.

00:05:43.000 He was going to take out a loan because he was so upset that they were going to lose their money.

00:05:49.000 Like, Ari's a really good guy.

00:05:50.000 Yeah, I agree.

00:05:51.000 I know he does some cunty things sometimes.

00:05:53.000 Like, he'll put... 0.99

00:05:55.000 Be silly. 0.99

00:05:56.000 He'll dose you or whatever around your family. 1.00

00:05:59.000 He's doing that to try to be outrageous.

00:06:01.000 He's a good guy, which is one of the things that bums me out so much when he does...

00:06:06.000 Something outrageous.

00:06:08.000 But he thinks a lot about other people.

00:06:11.000 And this is one of those cases.

00:06:13.000 He was like, I'm going to take out a loan.

00:06:15.000 And I'm going to pay everyone's salary.

00:06:17.000 Because there was, you know, whatever shows they were obligated for.

00:06:21.000 Ten episodes or whatever.

00:06:22.000 All those people had counted on that money.

00:06:25.000 And he was really bummed out that they were going to lose that money.

00:06:28.000 And also, like, he was not going to give in to this bullying. 0.96

00:06:31.000 Like, them saying that they're going to cancel the show, if he goes over to Netflix, he goes, well, then you're going to fucking cancel the show. 0.97

00:06:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:06:37.000 Like, fuck you. 1.00

00:06:38.000 This is stupid. 1.00

00:06:40.000 And then they didn't. 1.00

00:06:41.000 They did.

00:06:41.000 Well, they went with Roy Wood, you know, Roy Wood Jr., who's awesome.

00:06:45.000 A great man, yeah.

00:06:46.000 A great guy, a great comic.

00:06:47.000 Perfect guy for the show if it wasn't Ari's show, you know?

00:06:50.000 I mean, he's perfect.

00:06:51.000 But, like, to be there when Ari created that show in the improv lab, back when the lab was a real lab, remember it was that shitty little dark room in the back, which was really pretty good, until they kind of fucked it up.

00:07:02.000 Well, did it have a bar in it?

00:07:05.000 It did... 1.00

00:07:06.000 Because that bar is a fucking nightmare. 1.00

00:07:08.000 It's a nightmare. 1.00

00:07:08.000 I've literally only bombed in there. 1.00

00:07:11.000 One night, me and Seinfeld bombed back to back.

00:07:15.000 I did it a month ago, bombed, Aziz bombed, Dan Levy, but we're just bombing.

00:07:21.000 Aziz said it was maybe his least favorite crowd in 20 years of comedy.

00:07:25.000 It's the worst room.

00:07:26.000 The setup is so bad.

00:07:28.000 And I did the improv, the regular improv, and crushed.

00:07:32.000 And I had a buddy of mine with me.

00:07:34.000 And I'm like, I'm going to do a set next door.

00:07:36.000 You want to go see that?

00:07:37.000 And he went and watched me crush and then bomb.

00:07:39.000 Back to back. 1.00

00:07:40.000 It's like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:07:41.000 I go, I know, right? 1.00

00:07:42.000 Crazy. 0.61

00:07:43.000 You did the cold plunge in the left. 0.99

00:07:45.000 It was so bad.

00:07:47.000 It's such a bad room.

00:07:48.000 It's like the door is right there next to the stage.

00:07:51.000 It opens up constantly.

00:07:52.000 The bar is to the left.

00:07:55.000 But it's also, the room is 45% bar.

00:07:58.000 Yeah, it's outrageous.

00:07:59.000 And they had two years to fix it during COVID. Yeah.

00:08:03.000 Didn't fix it. 0.98

00:08:04.000 Didn't do a damn thing! 0.95

00:08:05.000 We will not fix it. 0.80

00:08:05.000 They should make that bar a tiny part of that room. 0.80

00:08:09.000 It needs to be a tiny part, because you only have 90 fucking seats at most. 0.97

00:08:13.000 I'd go 40. Yeah. 0.98

00:08:15.000 Like, yeah, maybe 50. It was a good move. 0.99

00:08:18.000 When Ari had done This Is Not Happening There, I think it was like just, he would name each episode based on what the subject was.

00:08:28.000 Like, Psychedelica would be one, you know, War Stories would be another.

00:08:32.000 And you would, you know, go and tell your stories there.

00:08:35.000 And Ari said, you know, I've got to come up with a way to work out stories to use in sets. 0.98

00:08:41.000 So what am I going to do is have a storyteller show. 0.96

00:08:44.000 Pretty fucking brilliant idea. 0.96

00:08:45.000 Yep. 0.95

00:08:46.000 And he set it up there and I watched him for years develop that and then eventually take it to the store and then eventually take it on the road and then eventually sell it to Comedy Central.

00:08:55.000 And it was a great idea.

00:08:57.000 It was a great show. 0.99

00:08:59.000 And they fucked it up. 0.99

00:09:00.000 They fucked it up with one petty little move. 0.85

00:09:02.000 It was also never really on Comedy Central, right?

00:09:05.000 Wasn't it just on their YouTube?

00:09:06.000 No, it was.

00:09:06.000 No, it was on the YouTube, and then it went to Comedy Central.

00:09:09.000 Got called up to the big leagues.

00:09:11.000 Got called up to the big leagues, and, you know, he had a billboard on Sunset.

00:09:14.000 And he had a billboard on Sunset right when his special, because he had a special coming out, no.

00:09:23.000 No.

00:09:23.000 No, the Billboard on Sunset was his show.

00:09:26.000 And it was right when he was feuding with Howard Stern. 0.99

00:09:30.000 So, like, it was one of the fun things that he did is he took, because Howard Stern was like, who the fuck is this guy? 0.99

00:09:35.000 By the way, I thought about it the other day. 0.99

00:09:37.000 Ari was right.

00:09:38.000 What do you mean?

00:09:39.000 He was saying, like, podcasts of the future.

00:09:41.000 Well, he was...

00:09:42.000 I don't remember what he was upset about.

00:09:45.000 He was making fun of...

00:09:46.000 He was basically like, you're a dinosaur on satellite radio.

00:09:50.000 But I don't think that's what he was pissed off about.

00:09:52.000 Yeah, so that's what it was.

00:09:54.000 This is not happening.

00:09:55.000 And then his special was coming out that Friday on Netflix.

00:09:58.000 That's what it was.

00:10:00.000 But it was something else that he was making fun of Howard Stern about.

00:10:05.000 I don't think it was necessarily his stance on podcasts.

00:10:08.000 But boy, was he wrong about that.

00:10:10.000 Yeah, Stern had decided that podcasts were a waste.

00:10:13.000 I remember him mocking podcasts back in the day.

00:10:15.000 And he was like, you know, you can't make any money. 0.99

00:10:17.000 And I was like, you don't know what the fuck you're talking. 1.00

00:10:20.000 You literally don't know what you're fucking talking about. 1.00

00:10:22.000 Yeah, I wonder what he thinks of your Spotify shit. 1.00

00:10:25.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:10:26.000 I mean, he's making a lot of money still.

00:10:29.000 But it's a weird situation.

00:10:30.000 Like the whole Sirius XM thing is a weird situation because you get it for free in your car.

00:10:37.000 I think Fitzsimmons was telling me they count the subscriptions, the giveaways, they count as sales.

00:10:43.000 And it's like, is it a sale?

00:10:45.000 Well, they count as subscribers.

00:10:46.000 But here's the thing, man.

00:10:47.000 If Stern leaves, they better pay him.

00:10:49.000 They have to pay.

00:10:51.000 He is it.

00:10:52.000 That's it. 1.00

00:10:53.000 If he leaves, they're fucked. 1.00

00:10:56.000 They're legitimately fucked. 1.00

00:10:58.000 And him being on satellite felt very removed from culture. 0.99

00:11:05.000 Whereas I was afraid that was going to happen to you on Spotify.

00:11:08.000 I was hoping that was going to happen to you.

00:11:10.000 I was trying to get about 10% less famous.

00:11:12.000 I 100% believe you.

00:11:15.000 And didn't really work.

00:11:17.000 No.

00:11:18.000 Didn't work with you.

00:11:19.000 It didn't because you're still on YouTube.

00:11:21.000 And that's where a lot of people watch you.

00:11:22.000 It's that, but it also coincided with COVID and a lot of people had a lot of free time.

00:11:26.000 And there's just a reality to things that you listen to all the time.

00:11:30.000 You get addicted to them.

00:11:31.000 It wasn't that hard.

00:11:33.000 It wasn't like you needed to get satellite radio.

00:11:35.000 You just needed a different app.

00:11:37.000 And you were probably using the app anyway.

00:11:38.000 Yeah, and people were using Spotify anyway.

00:11:40.000 It's the number one app for podcasts in the world.

00:11:43.000 Or at least now, at least.

00:11:44.000 So when I went over there, I was hoping I would become obscure.

00:11:51.000 Whoops! 0.99

00:11:52.000 I would rather just take the fucking money and just be able to move around easier. 0.99

00:11:57.000 You know? 1.00

00:11:58.000 Yeah.

00:11:59.000 So when I said off the air, it was like, you're at the level now where there's the levels of fame where you have to...

00:12:06.000 You just park near the trash.

00:12:08.000 Yeah.

00:12:08.000 Where you have to go through the service entrance.

00:12:11.000 You come into the kitchen.

00:12:12.000 Yeah, and you just get like...

00:12:15.000 Vomit.

00:12:16.000 It smells like vomit and old garbage everywhere you- Everywhere you enter now. 0.99

00:12:20.000 Like, congratulations.

00:12:21.000 I remember one time I was partying with Dave in Denver.

00:12:24.000 We did a show together, and then Dave knows these weird after-hour spots.

00:12:29.000 And I'm like, where are we going?

00:12:31.000 In every city on Earth.

00:12:32.000 Every city!

00:12:33.000 So we're going down this dark hallway, right? 0.98

00:12:36.000 And I'm like, where the fuck- And then we go into this room, and it's literally like a John Wick movie. 0.94

00:12:41.000 Like you open this door, it's like a secret bar. 0.99

00:12:44.000 And it's not a big bar.

00:12:45.000 It was small.

00:12:47.000 It was like a 30 or 40 seat bar.

00:12:49.000 But it was beautiful, like opulent, really nicely done, like expensive liquor.

00:12:54.000 I go, this is crazy.

00:12:55.000 What is this?

00:12:56.000 Women with perfect skin and were like racially ambiguous. 1.00

00:13:00.000 Strange music playing. 0.99

00:13:01.000 You can't even fucking shazam it. 0.98

00:13:04.000 Yeah, like don't bother. 0.98

00:13:06.000 Don't bother my friend.

00:13:07.000 Everyone calls you my friend who works there.

00:13:09.000 But we went to this place and they told him he couldn't smoke in there.

00:13:13.000 It was really funny.

00:13:14.000 Goodbye.

00:13:14.000 So I got all this.

00:13:16.000 That'll do it.

00:13:16.000 And he tried to spark a joint and they're like, no, you can't smoke in here.

00:13:19.000 What?

00:13:21.000 There's no one here.

00:13:22.000 This is literally a secret bar.

00:13:25.000 You have Dave Chappelle smoking weed in your secret bar.

00:13:28.000 You should be happy.

00:13:29.000 Don't want it.

00:13:30.000 We don't know why.

00:13:31.000 We don't want it.

00:13:32.000 But those little weird spots that he knows.

00:13:35.000 He knows them everywhere.

00:13:36.000 But he's been that famous for so long.

00:13:39.000 He's got to move around like that.

00:13:41.000 It's the last six years, I'd say.

00:13:44.000 Since the Netflix stuff.

00:13:45.000 Yeah, since he came back.

00:13:47.000 After he took the ten years off and then came back.

00:13:50.000 His sabbatical.

00:13:51.000 Yeah, the sabbatical, which is interesting.

00:13:54.000 Well, it increased his legend.

00:13:57.000 Yeah.

00:13:58.000 Well, he's the guy who actually walked away.

00:14:02.000 Nobody really does walk away from the money.

00:14:05.000 Publicly.

00:14:05.000 Yeah.

00:14:06.000 It's like most people just take it.

00:14:09.000 I think Gandolfini did.

00:14:11.000 Really?

00:14:11.000 At one point, yeah.

00:14:12.000 For what?

00:14:13.000 What show?

00:14:14.000 Sopranos?

00:14:15.000 Yeah, there was a day, like his contract was, he wanted a raise.

00:14:20.000 It was, I was aware of it as it was happening.

00:14:24.000 Yeah?

00:14:24.000 And then he, they shut down for like six, eight weeks.

00:14:29.000 Oh, where he was ready to quit?

00:14:31.000 Yeah.

00:14:32.000 Oh, wow.

00:14:33.000 It was just like a contract dispute.

00:14:34.000 And he got everybody more money.

00:14:36.000 But, yeah, like, he was, you know.

00:14:41.000 Because you see how much...

00:14:44.000 Yeah.

00:14:46.000 Gave Sopranos co-stars $33,000 each after HBO contract dispute.

00:14:51.000 Wow.

00:14:52.000 He agreed on a $13 million contract with HBO after requesting $20 million per season after season three.

00:14:58.000 Wow.

00:15:00.000 Yeah, but he's like, I'm not coming in.

00:15:03.000 Interesting.

00:15:04.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:15:05.000 Well, what happens with those shows is the network and the executives and the production company realize that there's a big windfall when this motherfucker's over and it's going to continue forever. 0.92

00:15:17.000 You're going to be able to sell those DVDs. 0.92

00:15:19.000 You're going to be able to sell the streaming.

00:15:20.000 There's no streaming business.

00:15:21.000 Back then it was all DVDs, yeah.

00:15:23.000 Yeah, and the windfall will last forever, and you could be short-sighted as an actor and not recognize that this is something like The Honeymooners that's just gonna exist in the ether forever, and someone always gonna be selling it and buying it.

00:15:36.000 Well, that's the thing, like Seinfeld, Friends, Seinfeld, those syndication deals are every three years.

00:15:45.000 So when they go, Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld got $100 million, it's like, they got $100 million.

00:15:51.000 A bunch of times.

00:15:53.000 Quietly.

00:15:54.000 It's every three or four years, and then they sold it to Hulu, Netflix, and then all these streaming places started showing up, and HBO Plus, and there was no exclusivity. 0.97

00:16:06.000 Fucking great. 0.90

00:16:08.000 Yeah, no, it's great. 0.97

00:16:09.000 But it is interesting that there's this weird moment where everyone's trying to figure out how much can they take.

00:16:19.000 Negotiate how much they can.

00:16:20.000 But with a guy like Gandolfini, he's like, you don't have a show if I leave.

00:16:24.000 Yeah!

00:16:24.000 And also, they can't lie.

00:16:28.000 It's like, guys, I can see how much money this has made.

00:16:32.000 Like, now I can see it.

00:16:33.000 If I go to the...

00:16:35.000 I remember, I'm sure somebody will say in the comments, how long did it take for him to bring Chappelle up?

00:16:41.000 You brought him up.

00:16:43.000 Don't read the comments!

00:16:45.000 I know, I know.

00:16:48.000 When we were the number one selling show on DVD, We didn't know, we didn't think about it.

00:16:56.000 Literally never thought about it.

00:16:58.000 And then they put the DVD out, and we're like, oh cool, they put the DVD out, and then we opened up some paper, and it was number one, and we're like, number one, $20 a pop, how many?

00:17:11.000 And then you start going like, well wait, I'm making, nah, this is wrong. 0.94

00:17:16.000 This is fucked up, and then you have to, then you renegotiate. 0.98

00:17:19.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:17:20.000 But you were lucky in that you had these existing numbers that someone could audit and find out, like, no, no, no, he gets this many YouTube views, he gets this many streams. 0.97

00:17:34.000 Yeah, that's what's so much more interesting about this versus Netflix, because Netflix doesn't tell you jack shit. 0.54

00:17:39.000 Like, when you do a special on Netflix... 0.97

00:17:41.000 There you go, they just do a good job.

00:17:42.000 Good job, we like it.

00:17:44.000 How's it doing?

00:17:44.000 It's doing good.

00:17:46.000 What does that mean?

00:17:47.000 It's doing very good. 0.98

00:17:47.000 What the fuck does that mean? 0.98

00:17:49.000 But if it's on YouTube, you can go, oh, look at the numbers. 0.97

00:17:51.000 It's right there.

00:17:52.000 50 million.

00:17:53.000 Look at that.

00:17:54.000 There you go.

00:17:54.000 50 million downloads.

00:17:55.000 Thank you, Elon Musk.

00:17:56.000 If you look at iTunes, you can get your downloads.

00:18:00.000 You know what you're getting.

00:18:01.000 With certain services, you have no idea.

00:18:05.000 Streaming stuff.

00:18:06.000 Yeah, and God bless.

00:18:07.000 I mean, Netflix is starting to talk about it a little bit.

00:18:09.000 Yeah, they don't have to tell you, though.

00:18:10.000 If you're on HBO Max, is that what it is?

00:18:13.000 Is HBO Max or HBO Go?

00:18:15.000 What is it?

00:18:15.000 They changed their name.

00:18:16.000 It used to be Go?

00:18:17.000 Yeah.

00:18:18.000 It was Go, then it became Max.

00:18:20.000 They don't tell you.

00:18:20.000 Jack, sure.

00:18:21.000 Transitioned.

00:18:22.000 I'm not getting into that.

00:18:25.000 I'm not touching that.

00:18:27.000 But you just did.

00:18:30.000 So you like Austin?

00:18:35.000 I love it.

00:18:36.000 Great.

00:18:36.000 Yeah, it's great.

00:18:37.000 I love doing comedy here too. 0.99

00:18:40.000 The fucking crowds are amazing. 0.98

00:18:41.000 It's been so much fun. 1.00

00:18:42.000 Better?

00:18:43.000 Oh, yeah. 0.91

00:18:44.000 Yeah, there's no entitled douchebags here.

00:18:48.000 It's like all the stuff that was gross about the agents and the managers and network actors that would come to shows.

00:18:54.000 All that's gone.

00:18:55.000 It doesn't exist.

00:18:56.000 Just regular people.

00:18:58.000 And they're fun.

00:18:59.000 Yeah, I did a show last night.

00:19:00.000 What'd you do last night?

00:19:01.000 I did The Creaking Cave.

00:19:03.000 Oh, The Creaking Cave's great.

00:19:03.000 I'm there tonight.

00:19:04.000 Oh, great.

00:19:05.000 Yeah.

00:19:06.000 Ari's there too.

00:19:07.000 Ari's running this new special that he's doing, Jew. 1.00

00:19:11.000 He's doing that- What's the special called?

00:19:15.000 This is the special that he was working on before the Kobe Bryant incident.

00:19:20.000 I forgot.

00:19:22.000 I literally was like, why didn't you shoot it?

00:19:23.000 And he was like, oh.

00:19:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:19:28.000 So it was fucking sharp. 0.93

00:19:30.000 I'm curious to see it tonight. 0.97

00:19:32.000 I'm going to go watch it tonight.

00:19:33.000 He said he's shortened some setups and changed some jokes.

00:19:35.000 Good.

00:19:36.000 Well, it was really good before.

00:19:39.000 There's a thing when you revisit something after you haven't even touched it in years.

00:19:43.000 It was almost like a one-man show, like a performance piece that was basically set.

00:19:50.000 Because we had talked about this for a long time, because he had a really weird upbringing.

00:19:56.000 Was he Orthodox or something?

00:19:57.000 Yes.

00:19:57.000 Oh, God.

00:19:58.000 Okay.

00:19:59.000 And, you know, he went to Israel and stayed in, you know...

00:20:04.000 Kibbutz.

00:20:04.000 Yeah, he did the whole deal where they would read the Talmud every day for like 12 hours a day.

00:20:09.000 And like, you know, he was like super...

00:20:10.000 Until he like lost his religion and then became sort of a renegade. 0.96

00:20:14.000 And that's one of the reasons why he's so crazy.

00:20:16.000 It's like his childhood was like... 0.79

00:20:18.000 Him and Metzger.

00:20:18.000 Kurt Metzger did a similar thing.

00:20:20.000 Yes, very similar.

00:20:21.000 Very similar with...

00:20:21.000 He was a Jehovah Witness.

00:20:22.000 Yeah.

00:20:23.000 Yeah.

00:20:24.000 Where they feel like trapped in this... 0.96

00:20:26.000 Well Metzger's great at that too because Metzger recognizes culty shit early on like he was like he was one of the first guys calling this woke stuff cult like he's like they're in a cult he goes I know what a cult is he goes I fucking grew up in one he goes all this shit is like you can't question it you can't look at it any other way other than the way they tell you to look at its fucking cult stuff yeah and this was He was saying this eight years ago. 0.96

00:20:50.000 He's always been ahead of that. 0.96

00:20:52.000 Yeah.

00:20:52.000 He had a special called White Precious.

00:20:55.000 What else do you need to know?

00:20:58.000 He's so funny.

00:20:59.000 I love that, too.

00:21:00.000 He's one of those pound-for-pound joke writers.

00:21:03.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:21:04.000 Fucking nuclear. 0.99

00:21:04.000 And him together with Kyle. 0.99

00:21:06.000 Oh, my God.

00:21:07.000 Oh, my God.

00:21:08.000 Fantastic.

00:21:09.000 Yeah.

00:21:11.000 The Alec Baldwin is my favorite.

00:21:13.000 Oh, my God.

00:21:13.000 They're all great.

00:21:14.000 The fucking Biden one is amazing. 1.00

00:21:16.000 Boston, Massachusetts. 1.00

00:21:18.000 Donegan's a fucking wizard, too, man. 1.00

00:21:19.000 His voices are out of control. 1.00

00:21:21.000 That Bill Maher...

00:21:23.000 Bill Maher threatened to leave if we played it.

00:21:26.000 I heard that.

00:21:29.000 We're going to play the one with him in a gangbang.

00:21:32.000 Because he had one with him in a gangbang.

00:21:33.000 He's like, I'll leave if you play it, I'll leave.

00:21:37.000 I like more.

00:21:38.000 I love Bill Maher.

00:21:39.000 I know, that's what's funny.

00:21:40.000 And I love Kyle Dunning.

00:21:41.000 I mean, he was probably half joking anyway, but you know.

00:21:45.000 You know how it is.

00:21:46.000 Yeah, sure.

00:21:46.000 He's a little sensitive, but I think Maher is a very important guy, and I think he's been killing it lately.

00:21:51.000 He really has been.

00:21:52.000 His monologues, because he's really like an old-school liberal.

00:21:57.000 He hasn't changed his stance on things. 0.99

00:22:00.000 He's always been progressive, always been open-minded, but he's one of those guys that has the courage to go, what the fuck are you guys talking about? 0.99

00:22:07.000 What's going on? 0.98

00:22:09.000 And he also will point out, which is the thing I've been thinking about a lot lately.

00:22:12.000 It's like, hey, liberals, I'm liberal.

00:22:14.000 This is not persuasive.

00:22:18.000 The way you're approaching this is the opposite of persuasive.

00:22:21.000 You're really turning everyone off.

00:22:24.000 And I'm with you.

00:22:26.000 And it's like, but it feels like they don't care about persuasion.

00:22:30.000 Feels like they just care about being right and they care about righteousness. 0.99

00:22:35.000 And it's like, yeah, but you gotta, you know, Martin Luther King kind of had to sell people on the shit. 1.00

00:22:41.000 Had to sell white people on the shit. 1.00

00:22:43.000 And he, I always point out the fact that Martin Luther King had God. 1.00

00:22:47.000 Yeah, right?

00:22:47.000 He was a reverend.

00:22:48.000 For real.

00:22:48.000 Like, so he had, like, he had God on his side, so to speak, whereas it feels like liberals just have, like, guilt.

00:22:55.000 There's no persuasion mechanism, you know, other than, like, you should.

00:22:59.000 Okay, I'm a human being.

00:23:01.000 My default is not to righteousness and generosity.

00:23:06.000 Well, it's not just that.

00:23:07.000 It's like the left all of a sudden embraced violence.

00:23:10.000 Like when Antifa became the strong arm of the left and people were supporting it on CNN like it was no big deal.

00:23:19.000 These people were trying to light courthouses on fire. 0.99

00:23:22.000 Do you not see where the fuck this is going? 0.99

00:23:24.000 They're not doing this for a logical reason. 0.98

00:23:27.000 They're doing this because people love to smash things.

00:23:29.000 Yeah.

00:23:30.000 And the way they're expressing it.

00:23:31.000 They just found a different reason.

00:23:32.000 Yeah, and like, remember on CNN, I mean, Chris Cuomo saying, where does it say that protests have to be peaceful? 1.00

00:23:38.000 Hey, you fucking dumb cunt. 1.00

00:23:40.000 Like, what are you talking about? 1.00

00:23:41.000 How about if someone protests you?

00:23:43.000 Don't you want them to be peaceful?

00:23:44.000 Yeah.

00:23:45.000 Are you cool with people being violent as long as it's not directed in your direction?

00:23:48.000 Well, quietly.

00:23:50.000 Yeah.

00:23:51.000 Everyone's fine with the worst version of stuff as long as it's not aimed at them.

00:23:55.000 That's why they're pushing for war in Ukraine.

00:23:57.000 Like, we need to go there and help.

00:23:59.000 You know, institute a no-fly zone. 0.99

00:24:00.000 Like, the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

00:24:02.000 You want to go to war with Russia? 1.00

00:24:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:24:03.000 You out of your fucking minds? 1.00

00:24:04.000 I didn't do a joke, but where Zelensky was like, hey, can you guys come help us? 1.00

00:24:12.000 And America's like, no, we don't want to be involved in World War III. And they're like, please.

00:24:17.000 Yeah.

00:24:18.000 Please come be in World War III. Like, no, that would be a huge issue.

00:24:23.000 They're talking about us defending Taiwan now.

00:24:25.000 I was reading an article about that today, about Biden saying that he would offer support if China invaded Taiwan. 0.98

00:24:34.000 I'm like, what the fuck are we doing? 0.99

00:24:37.000 I actually think that the Ukraine shit is like a good, it's positive in terms of like everyone thought Russia was this like, you know, huge fighting force and it turned out to be very disorganized and fucked up. 1.00

00:24:50.000 It's very disorganized, very fucked up, and according to people that I'm friends with that were talking about the weapons, one of the problems is there's so much corruption in Russia that their weapons systems are fucked. 0.99

00:25:03.000 And because they were charging for the latest and they were- They're skimping. 0.99

00:25:07.000 Cutting corners, making dogshit weapons, and on top of that, the style of warfare that they have to engage in because of the way the ground is there, they have to go on these roads. 1.00

00:25:18.000 So all the Ukrainians do is get to the side of the road and wait for them to come towards him and then fucking shoot him. 1.00

00:25:23.000 It really looks like a fucking nightmare. 1.00

00:25:26.000 Doesn't it? 0.99

00:25:27.000 Like, wow, you really have to want what you're fighting for.

00:25:31.000 And Russia, it's kind of an elective.

00:25:35.000 It's not existential in any way. 1.00

00:25:38.000 It's just like, eh, you want to fuck them up? 1.00

00:25:40.000 Let's go fuck them up. 1.00

00:25:42.000 Yeah, and on top of that, Putin supposedly has cancer. 1.00

00:25:45.000 Yeah.

00:25:45.000 So it's like, Jesus Christ.

00:25:47.000 How do you get a guy like that out of power? 0.99

00:25:50.000 And the guy who takes over, like, who the fuck is he? 1.00

00:25:53.000 And is he going to be worse? 0.99

00:25:54.000 I've read things like where Putin has rigged for, like, only he knows how to do everything.

00:26:01.000 It's like a guy who's like, he knows all the knobs and what all the remotes do.

00:26:05.000 Yeah.

00:26:06.000 So no one can move in.

00:26:08.000 Of course.

00:26:09.000 He's been running Russia for how long now?

00:26:11.000 More than 20 years.

00:26:12.000 Yeah.

00:26:12.000 Which is insane.

00:26:13.000 But it's probably how you get good at running.

00:26:15.000 I've been saying this.

00:26:16.000 Look, it's bad to have a dictator.

00:26:19.000 But it's not good to have someone come in new on the job every four years for the most important job in the world. 1.00

00:26:24.000 Because you don't know what the fuck you're doing. 0.96

00:26:25.000 And then by the time you figure out what you're doing, you're two years in and all you're concentrating on is getting reelected. 0.99

00:26:30.000 So you're...

00:26:31.000 I completely agree.

00:26:33.000 And I mean, except, I don't know, six?

00:26:35.000 What's the alternative?

00:26:36.000 Right. 1.00

00:26:36.000 But what's the alternative is we have a dictator, which sucks. 1.00

00:26:39.000 You can't have that. 0.98

00:26:41.000 It's like having tenure as a professor. 0.98

00:26:43.000 You know, there's so many professors that are total cunts because they have tenure. 0.97

00:26:46.000 They literally can't get fired. 1.00

00:26:48.000 So they can say the most outrageous shit and they can be terrible at teaching. 1.00

00:26:52.000 They don't care. 1.00

00:26:53.000 They're just free now. 0.97

00:26:54.000 Well, I mean, most of the professors I know are just like, they happen to get tenure and like fucking cool. 0.59

00:26:59.000 It's like you get guaranteed $55,000 a year job.

00:27:03.000 Well, it's also you don't have to worry about whether or not you're going to get fired. 0.96

00:27:08.000 You know, there's some professors that have proposed some pretty outrageous shit, and they can't get rid of them because they have tenure. 0.97

00:27:14.000 Like, there's this guy, Peter Duisburg. 0.90

00:27:17.000 He's a professor of biology at the University of California, Berkeley, and he was one of the guys that I had on early in the podcast that was, like, really controversial.

00:27:25.000 Because Spin Magazine did an article about him years ago.

00:27:30.000 I'm a young person.

00:27:31.000 What's a magazine?

00:27:32.000 Da-ga-ga. 1.00

00:27:32.000 It was, he was proposing that HIV was not the cause of AIDS, but that HIV was a weak virus that only existed because the people's immune systems were already compromised. 1.00

00:27:49.000 And he was proposing that they were compromised from drugs, and that if you looked at the cases where people had AIDS, the vast majority of them were heavy drug users.

00:27:59.000 Like, they were doing party drugs and amyl nitrate and poppers and crystal meth and all that shit, and he was saying that that stuff destroys your immune system.

00:28:08.000 Widely dismissed by the scientific community. 0.86

00:28:10.000 I mean, all the other doctors completely disagreed with him.

00:28:13.000 There was a lot of literature that showed that he was completely incorrect, but that guy's a tenured professor.

00:28:17.000 Who's done, like, really rock-solid work on cancer and some other things.

00:28:21.000 But he's still a tenured professor. 1.00

00:28:22.000 He just fucked up. 1.00

00:28:23.000 He just fucked up one thing. 1.00

00:28:24.000 I don't know. 0.97

00:28:25.000 You know...

00:28:28.000 I think most likely there's a kernel of truth in what he's saying, in that drugs do compromise your immune system. 0.99

00:28:36.000 And if you do get HIV while you're doing all these drugs, you are going to have a compromised immune system and you're fucked. 0.61

00:28:42.000 And then on top of that, you're also, like, when you're doing a lot of drugs and you're partying and stuff like that, that's probably you're more likely to get HIV because you're taking chances. 0.92

00:28:53.000 You're doing risky things. 0.99

00:28:54.000 You know, because you're fucking popping it off. 0.98

00:28:57.000 You're lightening up. 0.99

00:28:59.000 Like monkeypox.

00:29:00.000 There was an article that I put on my Twitter.

00:29:02.000 Who is getting monkeypox?

00:29:03.000 Nobody.

00:29:04.000 But how is it being transmitted? 0.98

00:29:06.000 It's fucking hard to get, man. 0.99

00:29:08.000 It's sexually transmitted in some cases. 1.00

00:29:10.000 Oh, is it really?

00:29:11.000 Yeah.

00:29:11.000 But I don't think it's this thing that we have to worry about.

00:29:13.000 The amount of people that die of it is less than the amount of people that die of COVID. It's way harder to get than COVID is.

00:29:20.000 Oh, I'm not worried about monkeypox.

00:29:22.000 I'm just more curious, like, what is this? 1.00

00:29:25.000 It just, like, makes you look like shit. 1.00

00:29:26.000 Like, you grow bubbles all over it or something. 1.00

00:29:28.000 But is it, and you get a fever?

00:29:30.000 I don't know.

00:29:31.000 I don't know.

00:29:32.000 Let's find out.

00:29:33.000 Let's find out.

00:29:34.000 Together.

00:29:35.000 Worst case scenario for monkeypox.

00:29:37.000 I'm sure it kills some people.

00:29:39.000 But what has to be wrong with you for you to die from monkeypox?

00:29:44.000 I think it's probably just like...

00:29:46.000 I've read fever and sores.

00:29:48.000 Which seems like...

00:29:49.000 Yeah, partying.

00:29:50.000 It seems like...

00:29:50.000 Yeah, I mean, it really sounds like Miami to me.

00:29:53.000 Well, these guys that got it in...

00:29:56.000 Was it Belgium? 0.92

00:29:57.000 There was a thing that I put on my Instagram where these guys wound up getting it from having risky sex. 0.96

00:30:03.000 Yeah, they were...

00:30:06.000 Yeah, World Health Organization's emergency department said that the leading theory was sexual transmission among gay and bisexual men at two raves held in Spain and Belgium. 1.00

00:30:20.000 Fucking dudes. 1.00

00:30:21.000 Partying. 1.00

00:30:23.000 Dudes, you can't get pregnant. 1.00

00:30:25.000 Both viruses can cause flu-like symptoms, but monkeypox also triggers enlarged lymph nodes as well, and eventually distinctive fluid-filled lesions on the face, hands, and feet.

00:30:37.000 Most people recover from monkeypox in a few weeks without treatment.

00:30:41.000 This feels like, once most people recover from monkeypox in a few weeks without treatment, it's like, I shouldn't know about this.

00:30:47.000 Yeah, you shouldn't know about this. 0.80

00:30:48.000 Like, this is useless.

00:30:49.000 Well, I think the amount of people that have gotten monkeypox is very small.

00:30:54.000 Yeah.

00:30:54.000 I mean, I think it's like less than 50. Let's ask this.

00:30:58.000 How many people have gotten monkeypox?

00:31:00.000 Because when I was looking at it, they were tracking, at one point there was 11 cases that they're aware of, of monkey pox in this one area.

00:31:08.000 I'm like, that's not...

00:31:08.000 It's definitely clickable.

00:31:10.000 It'll make me click on it.

00:31:12.000 It's a fun, it's got monkey in it.

00:31:13.000 Yeah, it's got pox.

00:31:15.000 It's got pox in it.

00:31:15.000 Pox is not good.

00:31:17.000 Yeah, pox is bad. 0.84

00:31:18.000 A pox in your society, a pox in your family. 0.99

00:31:21.000 Yeah, a pox in your house, etc. 0.98

00:31:21.000 Your hands, your feet, a pox in your feet. 0.98

00:31:23.000 Sounds bad.

00:31:25.000 But it's just they're running out of stuff to scare people about.

00:31:29.000 At least 160 confirmed.

00:31:31.000 Oh, 160 in the whole world.

00:31:33.000 I like how they call it a non-African country. 1.00

00:31:35.000 Why is that?

00:31:36.000 Why non-African? 1.00

00:31:37.000 That means it's spread out of Africa?

00:31:39.000 All 10 of those cases have been in Europe.

00:31:40.000 All 10 of those cases have been in Europe. 0.97

00:31:42.000 56 in the UK, 41 in Spain, 37 in Portugal, where they were butt-fucking. 0.99

00:31:47.000 And 37 single-digit cases counts in Austria, Belgium, Denmark, France, Germany, Italy, and the Netherlands, Sweden, and Switzerland. 0.98

00:31:55.000 All guys who butt-fucked in Africa. 1.00

00:31:59.000 Or wherever. 0.99

00:32:00.000 Wherever they were at a rave.

00:32:02.000 Yeah, it's not that bad, man.

00:32:04.000 What?

00:32:04.000 Prairie dogs.

00:32:05.000 Four times as many countries outside of Africa. 1.00

00:32:06.000 Who the fuck is a pet prairie dog? 0.99

00:32:08.000 Why do they keep mentioning Africa? 1.00

00:32:09.000 Like, why are they saying...

00:32:10.000 I guess because that's where monkeys come from.

00:32:12.000 Or some monkeys, other than South America.

00:32:14.000 In India, four times as many countries outside of Africa have reported monkeypox this month.

00:32:20.000 It must have originated in Africa. 1.00

00:32:26.000 What the fuck has a pet prairie dog? 1.00

00:32:38.000 Get a dog, you fuck! 1.00

00:32:42.000 What's the difference? 1.00

00:32:44.000 A prairie dog and a regular dog?

00:32:45.000 A regular dog is your friend.

00:32:46.000 A prairie dog is a little wild animal that digs holes in the ground and cows step in them and snap their legs.

00:32:51.000 Those aren't like the ones that herd sheep for you?

00:32:54.000 No, no, no.

00:32:55.000 Prairie dog is a weird dog.

00:32:56.000 I mean a weird rodent that digs holes in the ground.

00:32:59.000 It's like a squirrel, yeah.

00:33:00.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:33:01.000 They have to shoot them on farms. 0.94

00:33:05.000 They set up rifles with long-range scopes on them and shoot them because when these prairie dogs leave their holes, cows and horses step in those holes because it's the size of their foot and snap their legs. 0.99

00:33:19.000 Snap their own legs, okay.

00:33:20.000 Yeah, they break their legs in these prairie dog holes. 1.00

00:33:23.000 They're a real fucking problem on farms and ranches. 0.99

00:33:25.000 Well, they also gave us monkey bars. 1.00

00:33:28.000 And they gave us monkey bars. 1.00

00:33:29.000 Fuck them twice. 1.00

00:33:30.000 I wonder if you could eat them. 1.00

00:33:31.000 They're probably not even delicious.

00:33:36.000 Oh, I have a question.

00:33:38.000 Let's segue into Ayahuasca real quick.

00:33:40.000 Oh, boy.

00:33:42.000 Did Ron White explain more about how he quit drinking?

00:33:47.000 Or he just quit?

00:33:49.000 Well, he needed to.

00:33:51.000 Oh, of course.

00:33:52.000 But I'm saying, was that...

00:33:54.000 Did he have a heart?

00:33:57.000 Did he have any sort of withdrawal?

00:34:02.000 No.

00:34:03.000 No, not really.

00:34:05.000 He had to quit for a while before they would let him do ayahuasca.

00:34:10.000 Because he was...

00:34:12.000 Yeah, he was Ron White.

00:34:13.000 He was 50 years of every day.

00:34:15.000 Yeah.

00:34:15.000 That's real.

00:34:16.000 Yeah.

00:34:17.000 But here's what's interesting. 0.99

00:34:20.000 He's sharp as a fucking tack now on stage. 0.99

00:34:22.000 I mean, he is fucking excellent. 0.99

00:34:24.000 Ron White is a great comic. 0.98

00:34:26.000 He's a great comic.

00:34:28.000 He's always been a great comic.

00:34:29.000 Really good comic.

00:34:30.000 But I think he's even better.

00:34:31.000 I think he's even better now.

00:34:33.000 He's so sharp.

00:34:34.000 He's so sharp.

00:34:35.000 And he's been micro-dosing mushrooms.

00:34:37.000 Well, apparently Jim Jeffery stopped drinking, too, and said he's better than he's ever been.

00:34:39.000 Really?

00:34:40.000 Yeah.

00:34:40.000 Interesting.

00:34:41.000 Yeah.

00:34:42.000 Well, I mean, look, drinking alleviates fear, but sometimes fear is good for you.

00:34:49.000 It keeps you sharp.

00:34:50.000 And in exchange for the alleviation of fear, it dulls your senses in some ways.

00:34:56.000 But it also, there's things that it does that are good. 0.99

00:35:00.000 There's little doors that open up when I have a couple of drinks, where I'm like, what the fuck is that?

00:35:05.000 And then you start talking about something that you might not talk about, or you see something in a way that you might not see it, or you laugh at something you might not laugh at.

00:35:12.000 And I think it's beneficial.

00:35:14.000 I think alcohol, in moderation, has benefits to it.

00:35:18.000 I don't drink to excess, though.

00:35:19.000 I mean, I do on the podcast sometimes.

00:35:21.000 I've had some podcasts with some guys.

00:35:23.000 The one we do with Shane Gillis, Mark Norman, and Ari, we do this thing called Protect Our Parks, and we do it every couple months, and we get obliterated.

00:35:32.000 I mean, obliterated.

00:35:33.000 Shane drank 15 beers.

00:35:36.000 Fifteen.

00:35:36.000 In a three hour podcast.

00:35:38.000 Fifteen.

00:35:38.000 And he didn't even piss.

00:35:39.000 He just puts him, he's a big fuck. 1.00

00:35:41.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:35:42.000 And he just puts him down.

00:35:43.000 Big football playing ogre.

00:35:45.000 Just keeps downing, downing Bud Lights.

00:35:47.000 I'm like, Jesus Christ, man.

00:35:49.000 That is insane.

00:35:49.000 He had a stack of beers over there.

00:35:51.000 I'm like, I can't imagine drinking that in a month.

00:35:53.000 And he just drank it in three hours.

00:35:55.000 Did he bring his own cooler?

00:35:56.000 No, we got it for him.

00:35:57.000 We had him all on ice for him.

00:35:59.000 We know when he's coming.

00:35:59.000 Yeah.

00:36:00.000 And so we get cases.

00:36:02.000 Like literally.

00:36:03.000 He drank more than a case himself. 1.00

00:36:05.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

00:36:06.000 And was he like... 1.00

00:36:07.000 Obliterated?

00:36:09.000 Oh, yeah.

00:36:09.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:36:10.000 He was very, very...

00:36:11.000 I mean, he was obliterated, but still hilarious.

00:36:14.000 Yeah.

00:36:15.000 And very much, you know, aware.

00:36:17.000 Yeah, there are guys that... 0.99

00:36:18.000 If you have a good brain and you add alcohol, some good shit can happen. 0.99

00:36:23.000 That's him. 1.00

00:36:23.000 He can do that. 1.00

00:36:24.000 He can put it away.

00:36:26.000 He, um... 0.93

00:36:28.000 He puts it away and can still be hilarious and is silly and he gets a little aggressive. 0.90

00:36:35.000 He gets a little aggressive, like a punch Ari in his shoulder every now and then. 0.85

00:36:38.000 Yeah.

00:36:40.000 Put it in a fun way, you know?

00:36:42.000 But other than that, the podcast is, without a doubt, the drunkest I ever get in my life, ever, is during the podcast.

00:36:49.000 Because sometimes we'll get...

00:36:51.000 We'll be three hours in and I'm like, oh my god, I'm struggling to say a sentence correctly.

00:36:56.000 I'm struggling to hide my slurring.

00:37:00.000 And then Ari has to take over? 1.00

00:37:02.000 And Ari takes over, yeah. 1.00

00:37:03.000 I'll tell you guys what's going on.

00:37:08.000 I'm gonna see Jew tonight. 0.99

00:37:09.000 I'm excited because he's running it at 8 p.m.

00:37:12.000 And then we have a show there at 10. But he said it's really tight.

00:37:15.000 He's really, really happy with it.

00:37:17.000 And he's gonna film June 10th and 11th in Brooklyn.

00:37:21.000 Is that right?

00:37:21.000 Or is it 11th and 12th?

00:37:24.000 One of those.

00:37:25.000 I think it's 10 the...

00:37:25.000 Whatever the Friday...

00:37:27.000 What days?

00:37:28.000 What days are those?

00:37:29.000 Those aren't even...

00:37:29.000 Is that even Friday and Saturday?

00:37:30.000 Did you...

00:37:30.000 Where are you?

00:37:31.000 You got a new hour?

00:37:32.000 I mean, you must have...

00:37:33.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:37:33.000 I got a comedy baby.

00:37:34.000 I got to shit out, buddy. 0.99

00:37:35.000 I got to get rid of this comedy baby. 0.99

00:37:36.000 Yeah, I was going to say, you've been...

00:37:37.000 You've had it for a while, right?

00:37:38.000 I got to get rid of this comedy baby.

00:37:40.000 You probably had an hour before COVID. Yeah, it was ready.

00:37:43.000 I was ready before COVID, but it's better off that I didn't do it then.

00:37:47.000 Because honestly, one thing that I've learned is that, you know, this is this thing where you want to do a new hour as quickly as you can because it's kind of impressive.

00:37:56.000 And when Louis was at the top of his game...

00:38:00.000 Actually, I'm going to say that.

00:38:01.000 I don't think that's correct.

00:38:02.000 I think Louis is at the top of his game right now.

00:38:04.000 I totally agree. 0.99

00:38:05.000 I think he's at the top of his game right now because I think he has a freedom that comes from all the shit. 0.99

00:38:10.000 His last two specials have been excellent. 0.98

00:38:12.000 The one that he won the Emmy for, I called him, I texted him rather, and I said, the one you won the Emmy for is great.

00:38:17.000 I go, but I think the new one's even better.

00:38:19.000 The new one's better, yeah.

00:38:19.000 It's better.

00:38:20.000 It's really fucking good. 0.96

00:38:21.000 And I go, I hope you win for that too. 0.97

00:38:23.000 But the point is, it's like, when you're that sharp, you get that sharp over time.

00:38:31.000 And for me, when Louis was doing his ones every year, I think it was a little too much.

00:38:37.000 I agree.

00:38:38.000 I think you need two, and this one has given me more than three.

00:38:41.000 And because of the more than three, I've added a lot of stuff to it, and I've tightened things up and changed things.

00:38:45.000 And I've also, there's stuff like, I could say this, and it would be more palatable.

00:38:50.000 Yeah, and you also just go, I don't want to do that bit.

00:38:53.000 Yeah, you get tired of it.

00:38:54.000 You just go like, eh.

00:38:56.000 I don't want to say that.

00:38:57.000 I have better things to say than that.

00:38:59.000 Yes.

00:39:00.000 And then there's ones that you're like, juice is not worth a squeeze in this bit.

00:39:03.000 I've got to let it go.

00:39:05.000 You've got to know when to let it go.

00:39:06.000 Do I like doing this or am I being stubborn?

00:39:09.000 Am I trying to figure out how to make this work?

00:39:11.000 Or am I being crafty and I don't want to waste food.

00:39:19.000 You know what I mean?

00:39:19.000 I don't want to waste this bit.

00:39:21.000 I wrote the bit.

00:39:22.000 It can fill five minutes. 0.98

00:39:25.000 It's fucking funny. 0.98

00:39:26.000 Like, I don't think it's not funny, but it's just not as good as everything else. 0.98

00:39:30.000 Yeah, and some bits, it's like they don't match.

00:39:32.000 You know, like you're wearing certain kinds of clothes, and then a bit is a neon orange hat.

00:39:38.000 It works, but it doesn't fit with the other stuff, and you gotta try to figure out how to shoehorn that bit into the other pieces.

00:39:44.000 Or just cut it and...

00:39:46.000 Yeah, cutting it sometimes is the best thing.

00:39:48.000 And sometimes I'll revisit them years later.

00:39:49.000 I've got a stack of bits that never made it on specials that I should probably go try to find and maybe see if I could rework them.

00:39:58.000 Because there's like a few of them that were really good.

00:40:00.000 But for whatever reason, I couldn't get them on a special.

00:40:02.000 It didn't fit in the act.

00:40:04.000 I was trying to keep it down to an hour.

00:40:05.000 Whatever the reasons were, I just decided to stop doing them.

00:40:09.000 And then there's some that I wish I could do again because I didn't do them as good as I could have.

00:40:13.000 Those are the ones that haunt you.

00:40:14.000 They haunt you.

00:40:15.000 They haunt you.

00:40:16.000 I've watched people's specials and thought of a tag or thought of a thing they could have done.

00:40:22.000 And sometimes I'll tell them...

00:40:24.000 I told Deion Cole one and he was like... 1.00

00:40:27.000 Fuck! 1.00

00:40:28.000 I did with Norman, too. 1.00

00:40:29.000 I had one where he was like, oh, no, Brian Simpson, I had a fix for one of his jokes, and he was like, I'm so mad.

00:40:36.000 I just shouldn't have told him.

00:40:39.000 And he's like, I'm going to show you the next time I have an hour.

00:40:41.000 I'll show it to you before.

00:40:42.000 I'm like, yeah, good, because I don't.

00:40:44.000 So he had already filmed it.

00:40:45.000 Yeah.

00:40:46.000 When guys had already filmed stuff.

00:40:47.000 Yeah, it's like, do you tell them?

00:40:48.000 Well, have you ever done a filming and then you have a new tag right after?

00:40:53.000 And it's the better tag. 1.00

00:40:54.000 You're like, fuck! 1.00

00:40:55.000 Fuck! 1.00

00:40:57.000 Remember Hedberg? 0.99

00:40:58.000 Hedberg did that and then did the same joke again and explained that he has a new tag for it and then did the tag. 0.98

00:41:05.000 That's fucking great. 0.89

00:41:07.000 He's like, that was the new part! 1.00

00:41:10.000 Yeah, I was at his half hour, that bad half hour that he saved into, him and my brother taped the same night, and Hedberg was just eating shit. 1.00

00:41:21.000 And he started talking about it, eating shit. 0.98

00:41:23.000 And I think they made it longer or something. 0.99

00:41:26.000 It was for Comedy Central, and it was a great thing because he just owned up to the fact that this isn't going good. 0.99

00:41:34.000 That guy is so fucking... 0.98

00:41:35.000 He would be so popular now. 0.99

00:41:38.000 Like, the internet is just...

00:41:40.000 Patrice and him, I always think, like, man, those guys.

00:41:42.000 Patrice got a little internet love, but, like, they'd be so much...

00:41:47.000 Like, the magnifying... 0.98

00:41:48.000 The amplification of YouTube and shit would have completely served... 0.99

00:41:52.000 Patrice would be the king of the world. 0.99

00:41:54.000 He would be the king of the world.

00:41:56.000 Yeah.

00:41:56.000 He would.

00:41:57.000 He would be running podcasts.

00:41:59.000 He would be the guy that everybody wanted to listen to their take.

00:42:02.000 Do you imagine his take on Amber Heard?

00:42:06.000 On this crazy Johnny Depp trial?

00:42:08.000 Patrice would be on fire.

00:42:10.000 Did you believe any of the stuff they said about Depp in the trial?

00:42:16.000 Because all you guys, I was barely watching it.

00:42:18.000 I was seeing more reaction videos and it was like very anti-Her. 0.94

00:42:21.000 And then they started presenting shit against him and I was like... 0.97

00:42:25.000 Ah, this doesn't sound great either. 0.99

00:42:28.000 Yeah, here's my take.

00:42:30.000 I gotta clear my throat here.

00:42:33.000 Sorry, this Black Rifle coffee, it's filled with caffeine, but it's also got some kind of milk product in it, and it gives me phlegm, unfortunately.

00:42:41.000 If you're doing that much coke, and you're drinking, and you're with a girl who punches you in the face, The idea that you are a monk through that and that you're not participating in some of the screaming and yelling and the chaos, that doesn't seem logical.

00:42:58.000 It seems like a guy who is like really peaceful and really calm all the time would never get involved with someone that volatile and crazy in the first week.

00:43:09.000 That's what you would hope.

00:43:10.000 Right, but knowing human nature, you go, he probably liked it, he probably engaged, he probably got caught up. 0.99

00:43:17.000 Who fucking knows? 0.98

00:43:18.000 They obviously had a chaotic relationship. 0.99

00:43:20.000 None of it seems like fun.

00:43:23.000 No.

00:43:24.000 The locations are incredible.

00:43:27.000 Oh, yeah.

00:43:28.000 He's got a lot of money.

00:43:29.000 Was this on the private island?

00:43:30.000 No, this is in the blimp, where we would travel.

00:43:34.000 The thing is, there's clearly some deception going on, and that's why this is a valuable insight for people, because people like that exist.

00:43:42.000 People like that, where they try to change reality to suit them and make you look like a monster, to make them look like a victim, so that they can gain some sort of social credit or attention.

00:43:57.000 Usually, you can get away with those things if you don't talk too much.

00:44:01.000 You can get away with those things if it's just an accusation.

00:44:03.000 As long as you don't go to trial.

00:44:04.000 As long as someone doesn't actually hear you talk about stuff. 1.00

00:44:07.000 Because when you start talking about stuff, if you're full of shit like that, it seems full of shit. 1.00

00:44:11.000 It seems full of shit to everybody. 1.00

00:44:12.000 There's a vibe that people give off when they're not being truthful about something like that. 0.99

00:44:17.000 When you're really just, you know you're doing something to someone.

00:44:21.000 You're trying to ruin them with lies.

00:44:23.000 And now you're getting confronted by it.

00:44:25.000 And you realize it's overcome your whole life.

00:44:27.000 Instead of it being a thing that you got away with and then moved on to the next thing.

00:44:31.000 Because, you know, there's that expression about beauty.

00:44:33.000 Beauty is a short-lived tyranny.

00:44:37.000 And when you're that hot, you know, I mean, and that crazy and probably really fun to be around, like when she likes you, I bet it's so much fun, right?

00:44:46.000 She's obviously, she's got these very intelligent, super successful guys, and she had them chasing her around.

00:44:53.000 She must have been a spectacular person to be around when she was fun. 0.99

00:44:58.000 But you guys are doing coke, and you're drinking, and you're going crazy, and you get to hear the versions of the story that just don't make sense, and you go, oh, this is just bullshit. 0.98

00:45:14.000 They both sound bad. 0.64

00:45:17.000 If half of it's true in both directions, I'm like, this feels like a tie for last.

00:45:23.000 Doesn't feel like there's a win.

00:45:24.000 I guess Johnny wins in that...

00:45:26.000 He seems like a nicer guy.

00:45:27.000 He seems like a nicer guy.

00:45:28.000 He also... 0.97

00:45:29.000 You see him on TV and you're like, I fucking like this guy. 0.97

00:45:32.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:45:33.000 I like this.

00:45:33.000 I miss having Johnny Depp in the movies.

00:45:36.000 But it seemed like, let's scorch the earth. 1.00

00:45:42.000 And he's like, well, fuck it. 1.00

00:45:43.000 If we're going to scorch the earth, let's just scorch it. 1.00

00:45:45.000 And maybe, because he hasn't worked in five years.

00:45:48.000 And he was losing jobs because of it.

00:45:51.000 And then he had that lawsuit with the UK newspaper where they called him a wife beater.

00:45:57.000 And he sued them and lost.

00:46:00.000 Yeah.

00:46:00.000 And that became a big issue.

00:46:01.000 I think he lost gigs because of that.

00:46:03.000 That's what this whole trial's about.

00:46:04.000 But what's crazy about that is, like, you're not proving that he was a domestic abuser.

00:46:12.000 You're proving that it's okay for you to say that because he might have been.

00:46:16.000 What did they actually prove?

00:46:18.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:46:19.000 There's no...

00:46:20.000 It's like there's no...

00:46:21.000 Obviously, the audience, we won.

00:46:23.000 What a six-week trial.

00:46:25.000 Jesus Christ, it's been insane. 1.00

00:46:26.000 What a fucking spectacle. 1.00

00:46:27.000 It's amazing. 1.00

00:46:28.000 Gorgeous.

00:46:28.000 Two gorgeous people going head-to-head.

00:46:30.000 I should also apologize to the woman, Camille.

00:46:33.000 Her name is Camille.

00:46:34.000 I said her name was Claire the other day.

00:46:35.000 I think I was.

00:46:37.000 Claire Vasquez, Johnny Depp's...

00:46:39.000 The lawyer.

00:46:40.000 She's amazing.

00:46:41.000 That lady's incredible. 1.00

00:46:42.000 Mm-hmm.

00:46:44.000 But yeah, it seems like...

00:46:45.000 I said Claire again, didn't I? I did.

00:46:47.000 God damn it. 1.00

00:46:48.000 It's fucking weed. 1.00

00:46:49.000 Her name is... 1.00

00:46:50.000 It's Camille, right?

00:46:52.000 It's Camille.

00:46:55.000 Camille Vasquez?

00:46:58.000 Thank you. 0.85

00:46:58.000 I apologize to her for fucking up her name. 0.85

00:47:01.000 That woman's a beast. 1.00

00:47:02.000 When she's questioning, when they're going over the thing about whether or not you gave the money away to charity, yeah, I pledged the money. 0.93

00:47:09.000 That's not what I said.

00:47:10.000 That's not my question. 1.00

00:47:11.000 And you're like, oh shit. 0.99

00:47:13.000 No, I have not given it, but it's because I had to cover this trial. 0.99

00:47:19.000 There's something about the way she turns to the jury and says it.

00:47:21.000 It's like, what is going on here?

00:47:23.000 Because this is not a real person.

00:47:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:47:25.000 This is like psycho shit. 1.00

00:47:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:47:27.000 What is that? 1.00

00:47:28.000 What's that way of communicating?

00:47:30.000 But this is what I was going to get to.

00:47:32.000 No one looks good in those situations.

00:47:35.000 Neither one of them look good.

00:47:35.000 No, that's what I'm saying.

00:47:36.000 But no one can look good.

00:47:37.000 Johnny already looked so bad that he was probably like, well, let's have you look bad a little bit.

00:47:42.000 Yeah.

00:47:43.000 I don't think so.

00:47:44.000 I think he wanted people to see what the relationship was like as much as it's possible to do so.

00:47:51.000 Like, this is what I was dealing with.

00:47:52.000 Like, this is the craziness.

00:47:53.000 Now you see.

00:47:54.000 Because he probably knew, when people would see her, if you would confront her with all the facts, like we've seen, they'd be like, oh my god, this is like a criminal enterprise.

00:48:04.000 What did you do?

00:48:05.000 Well, yeah, it's not on the up and up.

00:48:08.000 It's not on the up and up.

00:48:09.000 What?

00:48:10.000 No.

00:48:10.000 What exactly are you saying?

00:48:12.000 Can we verify that?

00:48:13.000 Well, no, I didn't.

00:48:15.000 Yeah.

00:48:16.000 Just the whole pledge the money thing.

00:48:18.000 If that's the way you're addressing reality, where you can just make words do different things than they really do.

00:48:24.000 You know, because you've said, I gave away the money.

00:48:27.000 I don't want his money.

00:48:27.000 I gave it away.

00:48:28.000 Yeah.

00:48:29.000 And then she had a year and a half to give it away and did give it away.

00:48:31.000 Didn't at all. 1.00

00:48:33.000 Didn't give shit. 1.00

00:48:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:35.000 It's hilarious.

00:48:37.000 I mean, it's probably hard.

00:48:39.000 Someone's got to give you seven million bucks.

00:48:41.000 You got it in the bank.

00:48:42.000 Why did I say I would do that?

00:48:44.000 I'll just give them a little. 1.00

00:48:45.000 See if they shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:48:46.000 And they were like, nope. 0.99

00:48:48.000 Over time.

00:48:49.000 And I'll make the interest.

00:48:50.000 If you publicly decide like that, that you're going to give away Johnny's money because you don't want it, you kind of have to now.

00:48:59.000 But she didn't want to.

00:49:00.000 But that's just, you know, those people exist, man.

00:49:04.000 You can get stuck with them, you know?

00:49:07.000 They're guys that try to get you to loan them money because they've got an amazing deal and some poor girl just says, okay, I mean, I really believe in you, baby.

00:49:16.000 And he just bilks her. 0.99

00:49:18.000 That shit happens all the time. 1.00

00:49:19.000 Yeah, Netflix is full of them. 1.00

00:49:21.000 And then they move on to the next.

00:49:21.000 They move on to the next.

00:49:22.000 It's just bad humans. 0.95

00:49:24.000 It's con artists. 1.00

00:49:26.000 And mentally ill people, too. 1.00

00:49:29.000 It's pure mental illness. 1.00

00:49:31.000 They're fucking... 1.00

00:49:32.000 All that bad vegan documentary and the Tinder Swindler. 1.00

00:49:39.000 Just fucking crazy dudes. 1.00

00:49:41.000 Crazy dudes. 1.00

00:49:42.000 Crazy. 1.00

00:49:43.000 I did a joke that if you borrow $100 from your girl, that's not sexy. 1.00

00:49:48.000 If you borrow $100,000 from your girl, that shit is very sexy. 1.00

00:49:52.000 They love that shit. 1.00

00:49:53.000 Do you know the Eliza story, right? 1.00

00:49:56.000 The Yale guy?

00:49:57.000 That is one of the wildest stories ever.

00:49:59.000 She told the whole story on the podcast.

00:50:02.000 I was riveted.

00:50:03.000 She didn't give him any money though, right?

00:50:05.000 No.

00:50:06.000 But this guy pretended he went to Yale...

00:50:09.000 And pretended he lived in a place where he didn't. 0.98

00:50:12.000 He made up all this shit about his life and she found out after they had already been dating. 0.99

00:50:17.000 They were deep into a relationship. 1.00

00:50:19.000 She was having sex with a fucking complete con artist. 1.00

00:50:24.000 Just a bullshit artist who made up his past. 1.00

00:50:28.000 And she slowly would expose it. 1.00

00:50:32.000 Terrifying.

00:50:33.000 Jesus Christ.

00:50:34.000 Because you want to take people at their word.

00:50:38.000 Right, but imagine if you were in love with a woman.

00:50:40.000 Like, you met her.

00:50:41.000 Like, wow, she's the one.

00:50:42.000 And then you just have the best time. 0.97

00:50:44.000 You have great sex.

00:50:46.000 You have similar interests.

00:50:47.000 She's funny.

00:50:48.000 You eat dinners together.

00:50:49.000 You have wonderful conversations. 1.00

00:50:50.000 And then you find out she's full of shit. 1.00

00:50:53.000 Then you find out, like, she has a fake accent. 1.00

00:50:55.000 But everyone's a little full of shit. 1.00

00:50:57.000 What if she has a fake accent? 1.00

00:50:58.000 What if she's faking?

00:50:59.000 You can tell.

00:51:00.000 What if she's faking?

00:51:01.000 She's from Brazil. 0.99

00:51:02.000 You can tell.

00:51:03.000 Can you?

00:51:04.000 Yeah, there's always a little...

00:51:05.000 I'm very proud of myself one time.

00:51:07.000 I went to a guy's...

00:51:09.000 There was an accountant in the late 90s who was like an accountant to the stars and he was like... 0.98

00:51:14.000 And he was having parties and all this shit. 0.95

00:51:17.000 And I went to his house and it was like way too nice. 0.97

00:51:23.000 And somebody called me when I was leaving and I go, I just went to a guy's house.

00:51:28.000 He's going to jail.

00:51:30.000 Yeah.

00:51:31.000 And six months later, he was in jail.

00:51:34.000 It was a guy named Dana Giacchetto was the guy's name.

00:51:37.000 What a great name.

00:51:38.000 And he was the accountant to, like, DiCaprio and Stiller.

00:51:41.000 And he was, like, a cool accountant. 1.00

00:51:43.000 And it was like, you don't want a cool accountant, you fucking morons. 1.00

00:51:47.000 No, no, no, no. 1.00

00:51:48.000 And sure enough, it was fucking great. 0.99

00:51:51.000 Oh, my God. 0.99

00:51:52.000 That's hilarious.

00:51:52.000 He went to jail.

00:51:53.000 That's hilarious.

00:51:55.000 I have three great calls like that.

00:51:57.000 Cosby I never liked.

00:52:00.000 I used to argue with Dave about it.

00:52:02.000 It's like, no, it's not a good guy.

00:52:04.000 And Tiger Woods walked past...

00:52:09.000 Dave did something with Tiger Woods in 2002. And Tiger Woods walked past me, and my first thought was, that guy fucks a lot. 0.99

00:52:20.000 And I was absolutely right. 0.98

00:52:22.000 It took a long time for it to come out, but it was like, you don't have shoulders like that.

00:52:27.000 And waste it on one person.

00:52:32.000 His shoulders?

00:52:34.000 Dude, his shoulders?

00:52:35.000 He's got a V like a...

00:52:38.000 Well, isn't he the first real super athlete slash golf player?

00:52:42.000 He was the first golfer to exercise.

00:52:46.000 Right, but not just exercise.

00:52:47.000 Yes, like really exercise.

00:52:50.000 But do you think that contributed to his back issues, or do you think it's just the sheer amount of torque he puts in his swing?

00:52:57.000 There were a few articles and documentaries.

00:52:59.000 He would train He was training with Navy SEALs, like off, like he'd go to Pendleton or something.

00:53:08.000 What?

00:53:08.000 Yes.

00:53:09.000 Really?

00:53:09.000 Yes.

00:53:10.000 And that's where his injury started.

00:53:13.000 Oh.

00:53:14.000 He tore something training with the SEALs.

00:53:19.000 And his life is so mysterious and like sort of secretive, but that came out.

00:53:25.000 Interesting.

00:53:26.000 And there's a picture with him.

00:53:27.000 So that's how he hurt his back?

00:53:29.000 I think he hurt his knee, and then it becomes like a compensation.

00:53:37.000 Wow, almost quit golf in his prime to become a Navy SEAL. Oh my god!

00:53:42.000 Tiger Woods arguably the greatest golfer to ever play in the PGA Tour, but he almost cut his career short in the middle of his prime to join the military.

00:53:49.000 That's right, Woods nearly walked away from the sport he dominated in 2006 to become a Navy SEAL. Thankfully though, he stuck to golf.

00:53:56.000 Wow. 0.99

00:53:58.000 That's fucking crazy! 0.99

00:54:00.000 Yeah, his dad was a SEAL, and he would go to Coronado, Bud's Compound, then he started training himself, and then he tore something, and then it's a domino effect. 0.99

00:54:17.000 Well, I know Jamie knows a shitload about Tiger Woods. 0.99

00:54:21.000 Jamie, does he fuck a lot? 1.00

00:54:22.000 Jamie is a golfing fiend. 1.00

00:54:25.000 He's got machines out there.

00:54:26.000 He swings balls and he has it into a net.

00:54:29.000 So he's got like a thing set up where it measures his speed.

00:54:32.000 You paid for that, Joe.

00:54:33.000 No, I didn't.

00:54:34.000 Really? 1.00

00:54:35.000 Jamie, throw it on the fucking... 1.00

00:54:39.000 hide it, Jamie. 1.00

00:54:41.000 Well, now everybody knows I got it.

00:54:44.000 But you're like, he's pretty much a golf fiend since we moved to Texas.

00:54:49.000 Jamie's become a full-on fiend.

00:54:50.000 Yeah, Tiger's back now.

00:54:52.000 How's his leg?

00:54:53.000 How is his leg?

00:54:54.000 Actually, not good.

00:54:56.000 Not good?

00:54:56.000 Yeah, he gets fatigued.

00:54:59.000 He doesn't have like, I feel like the muscles are gone.

00:55:04.000 And so he can only, a lot of it's walking. 0.86

00:55:08.000 Like he could swing, but it's, you know, he had to, he couldn't, he was fucking, they almost had to chop off the leg apparently. 0.93

00:55:17.000 Yeah. 0.92

00:55:17.000 So when you're in that sort of a state, is that something he can recover from? 0.92

00:55:21.000 Do you know?

00:55:22.000 I think it would have been easier when he was 30. Right.

00:55:27.000 Now he's 47, 48, even with blood spinning and all that shit. 0.99

00:55:31.000 I think he'll... 0.98

00:55:32.000 Eight years ago had a dissectomy.

00:55:35.000 Microdisectomy to deal with a pinched nerve, yeah, back surgery, that had been troubling him in recent years.

00:55:41.000 This means that Woods will not be participating in the Masters, instead will be recovering from surgery.

00:55:45.000 So, 2014 is when he had the back issue.

00:55:49.000 You know, those things are tricky.

00:55:51.000 Those micro disectomies, they're tricky.

00:55:54.000 Especially when what you do for a living is physical.

00:55:57.000 Well, you're reducing the amount of disk space you have, and I think people have fixed bulging disks with other options.

00:56:04.000 But I think you also can't do it and be that active.

00:56:08.000 Like, if he's got a bulging lower back...

00:56:11.000 They make it...

00:56:11.000 What is it?

00:56:12.000 So they do a fusion, and then basically the thing that should be sort of...

00:56:17.000 Well, I know a little bit about this because I've had some spine issues.

00:56:22.000 So his disc was bulging, right?

00:56:25.000 And one of the options for fixing bulging discs is they trim the stuff that's poking out and then it's touching the nerve.

00:56:32.000 In the bone?

00:56:33.000 No, no.

00:56:33.000 It's disc tissue.

00:56:35.000 Okay.

00:56:35.000 It's like the soft cushiony tissue in between the spinal column, right?

00:56:39.000 There's the spinal bones and then in between is this cushy stuff.

00:56:42.000 That's your disc.

00:56:43.000 Sometimes it gets herniated.

00:56:45.000 And when it gets herniated, like, can you hurt your back really bad?

00:56:47.000 It pokes out, and it touches a nerve.

00:56:50.000 And it can give you sciatica, like that's what sciatica is, that sciatic nerve.

00:56:53.000 That's a nerve most likely being pinched by something.

00:56:55.000 When you say it's poking out, it's probably poking in, right?

00:56:58.000 Because it's poking into the nerve, into the body?

00:57:00.000 Right, but it's poking out of its cavity.

00:57:02.000 Right, but in your body, okay.

00:57:03.000 Yeah, so, like, its range, right?

00:57:06.000 The normal range is it sits there like a cushion.

00:57:08.000 And then when it bulges, it pokes out like this, and it makes the discs closer to each other.

00:57:13.000 And there's ways that you can decompress your spine.

00:57:16.000 There's centers where they work on it.

00:57:18.000 They put you on machines that give you very subtle and relaxing spinal decompression.

00:57:24.000 It's not even uncomfortable.

00:57:26.000 And then there's also yoga.

00:57:28.000 There's also a thing called Regenikine that I had when I had a bulging disc, which is this very complicated form of platelet-rich plasma.

00:57:37.000 They pioneered it in Germany.

00:57:39.000 That's when Peyton Manning was going. 0.98

00:57:40.000 Yeah, we went there, yeah.

00:57:41.000 Well, they do it in America now, and I had it done in Santa Monica.

00:57:44.000 And they take your own blood out, they spin it in a centrifuge, they treat it for 10 hours, and then they re-inject it.

00:57:50.000 It's this super potent anti-inflammatory medication, but it's made out of your own blood.

00:57:54.000 Your body completely accepts it.

00:57:56.000 And they inject it into the spot, right?

00:57:58.000 They inject it right into where it was.

00:57:59.000 And for me, it worked like magic.

00:58:01.000 It also worked for Dean Del Rey.

00:58:02.000 Dean Del Rey had it done when he had a bulging disc.

00:58:04.000 That's what he got put in.

00:58:06.000 This is what Tiger got put in?

00:58:08.000 Yeah, he got this implant put in his spine.

00:58:11.000 Whoa, bro.

00:58:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:58:13.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:58:15.000 That's funny. 0.99

00:58:15.000 That looks terrifying. 0.99

00:58:17.000 It's like a new Pixar movie.

00:58:18.000 Just imagine.

00:58:19.000 Oh, Jesus Christ, man.

00:58:21.000 Look at that.

00:58:22.000 So here's the problem with those, though.

00:58:24.000 It looks like a hinge.

00:58:25.000 Kind of a hinge.

00:58:26.000 Well, if it is a hinge, that's probably better if it moves a little because they have these titanium ones that I have a couple of friends who have gotten them done.

00:58:37.000 Aljamain Sterling, who we were talking about earlier, he actually had his spine done like that where he's got one of his discs have been replaced with an artificial disc.

00:58:46.000 Chris Weidman, same thing.

00:58:47.000 There's like quite a few fighters I know that have had discs replaced.

00:58:52.000 But it's tricky business, man.

00:58:55.000 You know, sometimes you need it, but sometimes things can be mitigated with other ways.

00:59:01.000 I know rolfing, I know guys who've had bulging discs that they had a, because everything was like so tight in the area, they had a good experience with rolfers, which are like really intense massages, very painful.

00:59:12.000 I got Rolfed and it led to a very weird diagnosis.

00:59:18.000 The Rolfer I went to, his wife did cranial sacral therapy, which is like your neck, head, kind of spatial massage, realignment, whatever. 0.58

00:59:32.000 He's telling me about his wife and he goes, she handles people that have divergent vision.

00:59:40.000 And I go, I have that.

00:59:42.000 And he's like, what do you mean?

00:59:43.000 I go, I think I know what that is, and I think I have it.

00:59:46.000 What is it?

00:59:48.000 Okay, so I remembered my dad.

00:59:52.000 I'd be talking to my dad sometimes, and he'd have one eye closed.

00:59:55.000 And then I noticed that I started doing it to people.

00:59:57.000 I'd have one eye closed.

01:00:00.000 Basically, you have two eyes, and they create a unified field of vision.

01:00:07.000 I have two eyes, and I see one and a half.

01:00:11.000 Oh, wow.

01:00:11.000 So at a certain point, my left eye just shut off.

01:00:15.000 So if you close your right eye, what happens?

01:00:17.000 Well, no, it'll come back on, but my brain will not...

01:00:22.000 My brain is just right eye.

01:00:24.000 So your brain is always just trying to look out of your right eye.

01:00:26.000 Right eye.

01:00:27.000 That's the only signal it recognizes.

01:00:30.000 So that joke in Wayne's world, camera number one, camera number two, camera...

01:00:33.000 I literally thought that's what everyone's vision was like.

01:00:37.000 Oh.

01:00:38.000 So basically, I've spent the last almost year turning my left eye on.

01:00:45.000 Jesus.

01:00:46.000 And so basically, with Oculus, it's a 3D Oculus exercises that I have to do every day, basically.

01:00:55.000 And it's like one of them's picking fruit.

01:01:00.000 It's like a 3D puzzle that unless your left eyes turn on, you can't play or you can't be good at it.

01:01:07.000 And slowly...

01:01:09.000 So now I'm at the phase where both my eyes are turned on.

01:01:13.000 But it's one and a half.

01:01:15.000 And then at a certain point, it will fuse into one image.

01:01:20.000 And the doctor told me...

01:01:23.000 The guy that I went to said that...

01:01:26.000 He's like, I have patients that...

01:01:27.000 I can't say who did it.

01:01:29.000 But Carl Lewis told me...

01:01:31.000 The sprinter said that I could tell people he had it done.

01:01:34.000 And it...

01:01:36.000 It was like, he wasn't racing anymore, but he's like, I was jumping too early.

01:01:40.000 Oh, whoa.

01:01:41.000 Because I didn't have- Depth perception.

01:01:44.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:01:46.000 Shit like that, where it's like, apparently I don't have 3D vision, so I just do it based on others. 0.99

01:01:53.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:01:54.000 I didn't know I didn't. 0.82

01:01:56.000 But it was fucking fascinating that I was just my right eye all the time. 0.91

01:02:02.000 You know Michael Bisping? 0.93

01:02:03.000 No, who's that?

01:02:04.000 He was the UFC middleweight champion.

01:02:06.000 Okay.

01:02:06.000 He fought his last ten fights with one eye.

01:02:09.000 He lied about being able to see out of his eye.

01:02:12.000 He would memorize charts and he would just get doctors to pass things.

01:02:17.000 He'd pretend he could read things.

01:02:18.000 Did his head position change in fights?

01:02:20.000 Did anyone know?

01:02:21.000 Well, he always fought with his left hand forward.

01:02:25.000 His right eye is the one that went blind.

01:02:28.000 Oh, that's probably better.

01:02:29.000 Yeah, it's easier.

01:02:30.000 I mean, he didn't always.

01:02:31.000 He could switch stances, but he would fight with his left foot forward predominantly, and he had a really good left hook, which is how he won the title.

01:02:41.000 But that guy fought 10 fights blind.

01:02:44.000 How did he lose?

01:02:45.000 Did he lose it in a fight?

01:02:47.000 Yeah, he got kicked in the head and got a detached retina and then had surgery on that and then had subsequent injuries and then eventually it kept getting worse and worse.

01:02:59.000 And it got to the point where now he said he could only tell like if the light is on or off.

01:03:04.000 Like he could tell if someone switched the light on or off but he can't see anything.

01:03:07.000 In that eye.

01:03:08.000 In that eye.

01:03:09.000 Yeah.

01:03:10.000 Like, I have to kind of... 0.96

01:03:12.000 It's fucking crazy that I can be talking to you and switch. 0.99

01:03:15.000 That is crazy. 0.99

01:03:16.000 Like, I'm only right eye now, and the left is soft, and now I just went over to the left.

01:03:20.000 Well, I would also assume that, like, you would think that everybody sees stuff the way you do, because that's the only way you've ever seen it.

01:03:27.000 And then the minute he said it, I was like, that.

01:03:30.000 I have that.

01:03:31.000 That makes sense.

01:03:32.000 Because I've been thinking about it a little bit, like, what is that thing with my...

01:03:36.000 How come nobody else talks about that?

01:03:39.000 You should bring it up on stage.

01:03:40.000 You know how you see one and a half and you can switch between which eye you're seeing out of without blinging?

01:03:48.000 Oh, that's crazy.

01:03:50.000 Now I'm dominant right, now I'm dominant left.

01:03:53.000 Well, you know, I do a lot of archery.

01:03:55.000 And when you do archery, most of the time I keep my left eye closed.

01:03:59.000 Because I'm looking at this thing called a peep sight.

01:04:02.000 And I'm looking at it only through my right eye.

01:04:04.000 Because I just want to concentrate on it.

01:04:06.000 Keeping everything perfectly level.

01:04:08.000 Well, it's got to be...

01:04:09.000 You showed me the range earlier.

01:04:12.000 So it's 40 yards.

01:04:14.000 That range, yeah.

01:04:15.000 Okay, so the trajectory of the arrow.

01:04:18.000 Or whatever you call it in this case.

01:04:21.000 Is it the same?

01:04:24.000 Does it meander, or is it like the velocity keeps it on the same trajectory?

01:04:32.000 Well, it's not the velocity that keeps it on the same trajectory, but there's fletchings, which you'd think of as feathers, or the back end.

01:04:41.000 There's different configurations, and different configurations provide more stability.

01:04:47.000 I use a four-fletch configuration, And so you have four things steering the arrow.

01:04:52.000 And then you have broadheads that are designed to fly well.

01:04:57.000 They're designed to have good aerodynamic characteristics.

01:05:01.000 And there's like things about the shapes of the broadheads.

01:05:04.000 There's a lot of debate about that.

01:05:05.000 But the bottom line is then it's about the spine of the arrow.

01:05:09.000 How stiff the arrow is.

01:05:10.000 Depending upon how much force the bow has, you're going to need a stiffer spined arrow.

01:05:15.000 Because you want a little bit of flex.

01:05:16.000 Yeah, because it'll be...

01:05:17.000 Slow-mo, it's a little flex, but I'm wondering, you're aiming at the bullseye, and the trajectory is from the exit to the bullseye is like...

01:05:31.000 As it keeps going, it's going to straighten out more.

01:05:35.000 That's the whole idea about the fletchings and the whole idea about the spine of the shaft.

01:05:40.000 And when you shoot and you release an arrow, it's got all this force coming off of that string.

01:05:47.000 Right?

01:05:48.000 And that's what's causing it to wiggle.

01:05:50.000 Like, as the knock releases and then the arrow releases from the bow, it's going to wiggle.

01:05:55.000 But it's going to eventually straighten out pretty much.

01:05:58.000 It's not going to be perfectly straight.

01:06:00.000 It'll still have, like, a little bit of this to it. 0.64

01:06:03.000 But very much, like, after you're getting after 20, 30, 40 yards, it's going to be pretty fucking straight. 0.83

01:06:10.000 But it's very scientific.

01:06:12.000 Like, you have to know how much your arrow weighs.

01:06:15.000 Like, my arrows weigh 540 grains.

01:06:18.000 And they're, you know, whatever, 28 or something and a half inches long.

01:06:23.000 So you have to, like, measure the length.

01:06:25.000 Because, like, I have a 28 and a quarter inch draw.

01:06:28.000 And so then you have to put all this stuff into a computer program called Archer's Advantage.

01:06:33.000 And you run it through a chronograph.

01:06:35.000 And you'll say, oh, it shoots 275 feet per second.

01:06:39.000 Okay.

01:06:39.000 And then you run all this information through this chronograph, or through this computer program, rather.

01:06:44.000 And then it'll give you a sight tape.

01:06:46.000 And then you put the sight tape on the bow, and you have to make sure that your 20-yard pin is dialed in correctly.

01:06:51.000 And once you do, it's like a wheel.

01:06:55.000 That's actually on sharpshooters.

01:06:57.000 Yeah.

01:06:57.000 Yes, similar, but the sharpshooter thing is much more exact because I'm not looking through a scope when I'm doing this.

01:07:03.000 This is just a sight, so it's not magnified.

01:07:06.000 It's just a pin, and the pin goes up and down to where 20 yards is going to be.

01:07:10.000 So 20 yards is there.

01:07:12.000 If I dial it down, now I'm in 40 yards, now I'm in 50 yards, and I can do it up and down with a dial.

01:07:16.000 So I can put it right on where 60 yards is and then hold the pin on it, and if I release the arrow properly, it's going to go right exactly where my pin is.

01:07:25.000 But it does take a little bit of calibration.

01:07:28.000 It takes a little bit of calibration, yeah.

01:07:30.000 Well, it takes quite a bit.

01:07:31.000 I mean, you have to run things through a computer program, and then you have to cite in your 20 and 60 yards.

01:07:36.000 Like, you have to figure out where your 20 is, and then you back up until 60, and once you're super confident, then you put the tape on.

01:07:42.000 And then once you put the tape on, now you have everything from 20 dialed up to 120 yards, because it's all done in math.

01:07:48.000 It's all done in how much the bow is going to release with so much energy, but how much energy is there after 20 yards, after 30 yards, it's going to slowly start to drop and come down.

01:07:58.000 And that's all calculated in this computer program that allows you to spin the bow to exactly where the yardage is.

01:08:04.000 And before they had that, it was just like...

01:08:06.000 I don't know.

01:08:07.000 No, before they had that, look, there's guys like my friend Aaron Snyder took a couple of years off of, he's a really good, like, elite, top of the food chain bow hunter, and he took time off from bow hunting with a compound bone to just use traditional archery equipment.

01:08:23.000 So he was using a recurve bow, and he still was killing everything.

01:08:28.000 Because he's just a really good hunter.

01:08:30.000 But he also got very good with that bow.

01:08:32.000 And there's all these videos of him in his yard of doing these 40-yard groups with traditional archery, just all stuck in this apple-sized group of arrows.

01:08:45.000 That's very impressive. 0.99

01:08:46.000 That's fucking hard to do. 0.98

01:08:47.000 And that takes a long time. 0.99

01:08:50.000 You can get proficient with a bow at 20-yard shots where you can get into this range.

01:08:54.000 I can get you there in a day.

01:08:56.000 A day.

01:08:57.000 One day.

01:08:58.000 One day at 20 yards with a bow where someone teaches you the correct way to release and look through the peep sight.

01:09:04.000 Something close, like 20 yards, I can get you there in a day. 0.99

01:09:06.000 With traditional archery, good luck, bitch. 1.00

01:09:08.000 Yeah, it's a year, right? 0.99

01:09:10.000 I don't know, man.

01:09:11.000 I'm not good at it.

01:09:12.000 I shot it on vacation with my kids.

01:09:14.000 It was hilarious.

01:09:15.000 I was terrible.

01:09:16.000 I don't even know how to do it right.

01:09:19.000 Why would you?

01:09:19.000 I kind of know how to do this part because I use a compound bow, but it's so different.

01:09:24.000 It's like using a rotary phone.

01:09:26.000 But it's like, it's probably, there's something probably more connected about that because there's only like the string in the wood. 0.98

01:09:35.000 There's no cables and all this fucking, these cams. 0.98

01:09:39.000 Like my bow has a cam on the top and a cam on the bottom and as you pull the bow back the cams give you a mechanical advantage so it rolls over and it's all like super high-tech shit. 0.98

01:09:50.000 So when you release an arrow from one of those, it's like you're kind of like almost like less connected to it than if you are, you know, pulling back some recurve bow and letting it go with your fingers.

01:10:01.000 That's probably, you're probably even more connected to it.

01:10:04.000 How often are you doing bows?

01:10:06.000 I practice almost every day.

01:10:10.000 But it's also a part of my daily routine.

01:10:13.000 It relaxes me.

01:10:15.000 Because when you're thinking about a target, like I just have a target set up in the yard, right?

01:10:20.000 I'm not thinking about anything but hitting that target.

01:10:21.000 That's all I'm thinking of.

01:10:22.000 So I'm just drawing back, looking at the target, and then releasing the arrow.

01:10:26.000 And there's a little dance that's going on between your cognitive function, your muscles, handling the anxiety of a shot.

01:10:37.000 Every shot gives you a little bit of anxiety.

01:10:39.000 Like, is this going to go where I want it to go?

01:10:42.000 I hope it does.

01:10:42.000 Well, it's weird because there are no stakes other than personal achievement.

01:10:48.000 Have I been wasting my time?

01:10:52.000 No.

01:10:52.000 Is this an exercise in futility?

01:10:56.000 Can I not learn?

01:10:58.000 Can I not grow?

01:10:59.000 I never think like that.

01:11:00.000 But what's the anxiety?

01:11:03.000 Does it hit where I want it to hit?

01:11:05.000 Right, but...

01:11:05.000 Did I put it all together right?

01:11:06.000 It's not life and death.

01:11:07.000 No, no, no, but it's not like...

01:11:09.000 There's a thing.

01:11:12.000 If you really want to get good at something, you have to be as interested in getting good at it as you are at anything.

01:11:19.000 At anything.

01:11:19.000 Totally agree.

01:11:20.000 And it's all the same.

01:11:21.000 But it's all something of a metaphor for...

01:11:27.000 I don't know if it is.

01:11:29.000 I think it's an exercise for keeping the mind active in a way that makes it non-competitive in regular everyday life.

01:11:38.000 And it makes it more compatible to socialization and to community and to just hanging out.

01:11:45.000 I think you need to do difficult things or you try to do difficult things with people.

01:11:49.000 I think a lot of people start conflict because they don't have enough struggle, like physical struggle.

01:11:55.000 I think you need something that's hard to do, whether it's a mental thing like playing chess, or whether it's a physical thing like yoga.

01:12:03.000 I think you need difficult things, and I think when you don't have difficult things, I think you make difficult things, and I think you make difficult things out of your life.

01:12:10.000 I think there's a lot of people that I know that would be way better off if they had some conflict resolution voluntarily, like just got out and exercised, did something like archery.

01:12:20.000 Do you think bow archery is conflict resolution, or you think it's...

01:12:24.000 It's so complicated.

01:12:25.000 It's like samurai, or like, you know what I mean?

01:12:28.000 Like it's a discipline that you're...

01:12:32.000 Humbled by...

01:12:33.000 Golf is kind of like that.

01:12:35.000 Sure.

01:12:35.000 Like, where it's...

01:12:37.000 Golf, you're playing against a course.

01:12:39.000 And it's...

01:12:40.000 People...

01:12:40.000 I used to golf, and I would get pissed.

01:12:42.000 And I'm like, why am I pissed?

01:12:44.000 And it's...

01:12:45.000 Because it is...

01:12:45.000 To me, it's like, because I'm not growing.

01:12:48.000 I'm stagnant.

01:12:50.000 I'm a failure.

01:12:52.000 I've been dedicating my time to this thing.

01:12:54.000 It's a waste of it.

01:12:56.000 Like...

01:12:56.000 I try not to think like that, but I know what you're saying.

01:12:58.000 But I feel like you're saying the same thing.

01:13:01.000 Yeah, we are definitely saying the same thing.

01:13:03.000 It's fortifying, and you want to improve.

01:13:08.000 You want to be on a path of some kind.

01:13:10.000 Yeah, it's fun.

01:13:11.000 It's fun to get good at stuff, too.

01:13:12.000 It's like, just accept what you are.

01:13:14.000 Like, you're a human being.

01:13:15.000 And one of the things that human beings like is we like it when other people like us, and we like to do stuff and get good at it.

01:13:21.000 And especially if it's something you really truly enjoy.

01:13:24.000 Like if you're a golf fan, if you like watching golf on TV, of course you're going to want it.

01:13:27.000 And a thing you respect also.

01:13:28.000 Yeah.

01:13:29.000 There's something to it, right?

01:13:30.000 Like it feels good.

01:13:31.000 It's exciting.

01:13:32.000 You want that.

01:13:34.000 Yeah.

01:13:34.000 That's a normal human thing.

01:13:36.000 And so I think people that don't have hobbies, you don't have things that you enjoy, and especially things that you're trying to improve at, I think you're doing yourself a disservice.

01:13:45.000 And for me, one of the things I like to do is archery because it's kind of difficult.

01:13:49.000 Like when you're at full draw and you're trying to hit a target and you're trying to use perfect form and relax and just a little move this way or this way and you're going to be off by it.

01:14:02.000 You know, six inches.

01:14:04.000 You ever read off teleprompter?

01:14:07.000 I'm sure you have it.

01:14:08.000 Oh my god, I'm terrible at it.

01:14:09.000 But the thing that I've learned reading off teleprompter is if I think about what just happened or what's gonna happen, I'll flub it.

01:14:17.000 So I literally just go like one word at a time.

01:14:20.000 One word at a time. 0.98

01:14:21.000 It's a perfect metaphor for life because if you think about like, oh, I fucking... 0.93

01:14:25.000 I hit that syllable wrong. 0.98

01:14:27.000 And then you'll flub the thing you're saying, and like, oh, that fucking joke's coming up. 0.95

01:14:32.000 And then you'll flub it again, thereby ruining the thing you're, because you're thinking about the, I mean, again, the brain, I think, is, the default is to think about the past and the future. 0.95

01:14:48.000 And you have to go like, no, now!

01:14:51.000 Think about now, brain!

01:14:52.000 And it's like, okay, but I'm worried and I'm regretful.

01:14:56.000 But it's also, you're talking about something that's going to be seen, right?

01:14:59.000 If you're reading off a teleprompter, it means it's being filmed.

01:15:02.000 So there's that anxiety on top of it, right?

01:15:05.000 Yes, but, and that's the, but it'll be good if I don't fuck a word up. 0.84

01:15:11.000 It'll just be better.

01:15:13.000 Yeah.

01:15:14.000 Automatically.

01:15:15.000 And there is the performance anxiety.

01:15:17.000 There's usually a crowd there or whatever, but you just have to just one word at a time.

01:15:22.000 Yeah.

01:15:24.000 There's an art to that.

01:15:26.000 Yeah.

01:15:26.000 Imagine, though, if that's what you did all day.

01:15:29.000 Imagine being a news broadcaster, where you're standing in front of the monitor, talking to you live from downtown Los Angeles, where the mayor is interviewing.

01:15:37.000 Yeah.

01:15:38.000 Yeah.

01:15:38.000 Blah!

01:15:39.000 Well, the people in the field don't have prompter, but there's all those jokes in Anchorman where they just put whatever in the prompter.

01:15:45.000 The people in the studio, they all read off a teleprompter, right?

01:15:49.000 Yeah, and it's like, what is your job? 1.00

01:15:52.000 You're not writing this shit. 0.99

01:15:55.000 Do you think they wanted to be actors and then this became available? 1.00

01:15:58.000 I think a lot of times they wanted to be actors, but their mom got sick.

01:16:05.000 So they had to stay in town.

01:16:07.000 There's always like, you know what I mean?

01:16:08.000 Like they want to perform.

01:16:10.000 It's so weird.

01:16:10.000 They're not public servants.

01:16:13.000 Right.

01:16:13.000 And that, by the way, the news media the last 15 years has proven that.

01:16:18.000 It's like the Brian Williams, once Brian Williams hosted Saturday Night Live, I was like, it's over.

01:16:24.000 It's over.

01:16:25.000 Even, like, he lied.

01:16:27.000 I'm like, he was already lying.

01:16:30.000 I shouldn't know these people. 1.00

01:16:32.000 Just tell me the fucking news. 0.99

01:16:35.000 There was a book called Amusing Ourselves to Death, which is by Neil Postman, and it's, like, one of the best books about media I've ever read. 0.99

01:16:42.000 It came out in 1989. Everything he said was true.

01:16:46.000 And he said that the McNeil-Lair PBS NewsHour, one of the McNeil-Lair said, once we put music under the news, we were cooked.

01:16:58.000 Because it's like, you can't... 0.95

01:17:02.000 Music is an emotional cue, and it makes it a story, and it's good guys and bad guys and heroes and Joseph Campbell shit, and it used to just be ticker tape. 0.87

01:17:15.000 That's really interesting. 0.80

01:17:17.000 I never thought about that, but they do use music on the news.

01:17:21.000 Yeah.

01:17:22.000 Why are you doing that?

01:17:23.000 Why do you have music?

01:17:23.000 Yeah, why are you putting music?

01:17:24.000 Let me hear some music.

01:17:25.000 Let me hear, like, what's CNN's music?

01:17:28.000 I want to hear Fox News' music and CNN's music.

01:17:30.000 Maybe we could tell a lot about their music.

01:17:32.000 It's the election decision 2022. It's a military...

01:17:38.000 They're military marches.

01:17:40.000 Oh my god. 0.99

01:17:40.000 Or they're like, this is fucking true. 0.99

01:17:43.000 It's like why they put pillars in front of banks. 0.99

01:17:45.000 Right.

01:17:46.000 Because like, would we have...

01:17:47.000 If we weren't responsible.

01:17:50.000 Which one's that?

01:17:51.000 That's CNN. Is that really CNN's music?

01:17:56.000 We're heroes. 0.97

01:17:59.000 And this is so fucking important. 0.99

01:18:03.000 God damn it, we're credible. 0.99

01:18:07.000 God damn it! 0.99

01:18:08.000 We couldn't get our hands on music like this if we weren't incredibly factual because they wouldn't give it to us. 0.99

01:18:18.000 That book is Amusing Ourselves to Death.

01:18:22.000 Read it.

01:18:23.000 It's like boy oh boy. 0.99

01:18:25.000 And the guy fucking called so many things. 0.99

01:18:28.000 Yeah? 0.99

01:18:28.000 So many things. 0.99

01:18:29.000 What's his name again?

01:18:31.000 Neil Postman.

01:18:32.000 I'm putting that in my book list.

01:18:35.000 Amusing Ourselves to Death.

01:18:36.000 Yeah.

01:18:36.000 Discourse in the Age of Show Business from 1985. Man.

01:18:42.000 What's Fox News' music?

01:18:45.000 This is fun.

01:18:46.000 Yeah, my god, I didn't know.

01:18:50.000 I really didn't know that it was that bad.

01:18:57.000 Coming to you live and da [...

01:19:27.000 right?

01:19:28.000 Listen, this is way more predictable.

01:19:31.000 It doesn't get too high.

01:19:32.000 It doesn't get too low.

01:19:34.000 And it keeps you on a steady pace. 0.97

01:19:36.000 It's a dullard song. 0.91

01:19:38.000 Yeah. 0.84

01:19:38.000 Well, there's no structure. 0.84

01:19:39.000 That was the breaking news.

01:19:41.000 That was just regular Fox.

01:19:42.000 The first one was breakings that might have an extra up-tempo that was...

01:19:46.000 Okay.

01:19:47.000 Does Fox have a breaking news?

01:19:49.000 It didn't pop up.

01:19:50.000 But that's like a...

01:19:51.000 That music is...

01:19:52.000 They're military marks.

01:19:53.000 They're like...

01:19:54.000 A drone music.

01:19:54.000 Yeah.

01:19:55.000 They're trying...

01:19:56.000 They're just establishing...

01:19:59.000 A level of...

01:20:01.000 Not really.

01:20:02.000 No.

01:20:02.000 That's okay.

01:20:03.000 We get it.

01:20:04.000 You shouldn't be able to do that, right?

01:20:06.000 It just bleeds into the whole operation.

01:20:13.000 Well, didn't that sort of happen, too, when they started having editorial content?

01:20:17.000 Jen Psaki officially joins MSNBC. We'll host a streaming show and assist with election news, and she's going to circle back. 0.95

01:20:26.000 It's not even a revolving door.

01:20:27.000 It's a WeWork now.

01:20:29.000 Yeah, you literally are out of work for a week.

01:20:32.000 It's just open. 1.00

01:20:33.000 She had that shit. 1.00

01:20:34.000 A hundred. 1.00

01:20:36.000 She got it.

01:20:37.000 I mean, basically, you get it.

01:20:40.000 When you get the press secretary job, you've got your whole thing. 0.98

01:20:44.000 It's like I always make a joke with white basketball players where I'm like, if you can't get an announcing job when you're done, because they're just dying for a fucking J.J. Reddick. 0.94

01:20:56.000 And J.J. Reddick's great, but a cute white dude who played in the NBA for 15 years. 0.97

01:21:01.000 Kevin Love.

01:21:01.000 Kevin Love is going to be...

01:21:03.000 Tom Brady just got $350 million. 1.00

01:21:06.000 Fucking cute white guy that's fucking got... 1.00

01:21:09.000 Athletic credibility, it's like, oh, fucking... 1.00

01:21:12.000 They can't pay him enough. 0.99

01:21:14.000 So how many...

01:21:14.000 I'm thinking about this now.

01:21:16.000 How many different broadcast teams do they have?

01:21:18.000 Does each team have their own broadcast team?

01:21:21.000 Because you have so many games.

01:21:23.000 Oh, uh...

01:21:24.000 It can't be the same people that call every game.

01:21:27.000 Well, they have their local...

01:21:28.000 If they're not national, and then there's, like, Cleveland has their local guys, and then...

01:21:34.000 Like, basketball.

01:21:36.000 They'll have basically...

01:21:39.000 A local, a guy who played for Cleveland, and then, like, Kevin Love will probably be announced for Cleveland in two years, and then, like, an announcer.

01:21:50.000 But they'll have, like, back in your day, da-da-da-da, and they'll have that guy for color, and they'll have just, like, a regular announcer who's probably from anywhere.

01:21:57.000 And then when it gets to the finals...

01:21:59.000 When it's on TNT and ESPN, there's an ESPN team and a TNT team.

01:22:05.000 And then they have famous people do it.

01:22:07.000 Yeah.

01:22:08.000 It's the same guys every week.

01:22:10.000 I went to a professional soccer game this week.

01:22:13.000 First time I've ever... 0.99

01:22:14.000 That was fucking great. 0.98

01:22:15.000 It's fun. 0.99

01:22:16.000 It was really fun.

01:22:17.000 First of all, when you see it on TV, it's one thing, but when you see the guys running in real life and you could see the strategy map out, you see how they're maneuvering themselves, like, oh, this is a pretty fucking complex game.

01:22:30.000 Yeah.

01:22:30.000 This is a, you know, I mean, and apparently the way they play in Europe is, like, way more high level than even the American teams.

01:22:37.000 Yeah, that's where the good players are.

01:22:39.000 They're, like, on another level, even better, yeah. 0.93

01:22:41.000 So I would love to see one of those, because watching this one live was fucking amazing. 0.89

01:22:46.000 It was super impressive. 0.73

01:22:47.000 There are things that you go to and you go, oh, I get why this is a thing.

01:22:51.000 Yeah.

01:22:51.000 Oh, soccer, I totally get it.

01:22:53.000 I don't especially care, but I get...

01:22:55.000 And it's also...

01:22:56.000 Where else...

01:22:59.000 I mean, now more and more, but where else do adults get to yell?

01:23:02.000 Is there anyone more annoying than the soccer fan who insists on calling it football and even writes football if you discuss it?

01:23:10.000 I don't think there is.

01:23:11.000 They'll get upset.

01:23:12.000 What is that a seagull? 0.81

01:23:13.000 What was that?

01:23:14.000 It's like someone who tells you how to spell their name.

01:23:17.000 Oh, they're out of their minds.

01:23:18.000 Look at these people.

01:23:19.000 But, you know, like saying it's football.

01:23:22.000 Settle down.

01:23:25.000 You can call it whatever you want.

01:23:26.000 Yeah, but you know what I'm talking about, right?

01:23:28.000 The thing that we're talking about?

01:23:31.000 What did your daughters take you? 1.00

01:23:33.000 No, no, no.

01:23:34.000 One of my friends, local guys.

01:23:37.000 Great.

01:23:38.000 We had a good time.

01:23:39.000 It was fun.

01:23:39.000 Yeah, those live sports are fun.

01:23:40.000 It was fun, man.

01:23:41.000 Football, I think, is too big.

01:23:43.000 The feel, it's not...

01:23:44.000 I think a lot of sports are...

01:23:46.000 Football, especially, I think is better on television.

01:23:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:23:50.000 I think you get some real fucking good replays and shit if you're watching on television. 0.99

01:23:56.000 Soccer's so easy to follow. 0.99

01:23:57.000 What's happening?

01:23:58.000 You know, the balls moving around. 0.90

01:24:00.000 Nothing happens.

01:24:00.000 I mean, that's the good thing about soccer.

01:24:02.000 Well, it takes a while for something to happen.

01:24:03.000 When it does happen, it makes it more exciting.

01:24:06.000 It's like the difference between having sex every day and having sex once a week.

01:24:10.000 So being single or married, is what you're saying? 0.99

01:24:16.000 It's just the skill level and then also I'm just thinking how much my fucking knees would hurt. 0.99

01:24:23.000 Well, I always make the observation that you ever watch the World Cup in a bar with women? 1.00

01:24:29.000 I remember one of the World Cups, a couple World Cups I watched in bars with women. 0.99

01:24:33.000 Women, soccer players, women get a little, like, Because they're strong. 1.00

01:24:39.000 They're also not yoked.

01:24:42.000 And they've got limitless stamina.

01:24:45.000 And especially in the World Cup, they're all ethnically ambiguous.

01:24:48.000 And a little cute brownish with a little stubble. 0.98

01:24:52.000 Well, their legs, man.

01:24:53.000 And nice legs.

01:24:55.000 To be able to do that, to run as much as those guys run, Jesus Christ.

01:25:00.000 The kind of shape you have to be in to play professional soccer is nuts.

01:25:04.000 Yeah, they probably all end up running five miles a game.

01:25:07.000 Easily.

01:25:07.000 And you're kind of sprinting.

01:25:09.000 You're absolutely sprinting.

01:25:11.000 You're either barely jogging or you're sprinting.

01:25:14.000 And to watch them move the ball around was super impressive.

01:25:18.000 To watch them, their little moves they do when they knock the ball aside where they fake like they're going to go and then they don't go.

01:25:25.000 You really appreciate it when you see it live. 0.99

01:25:28.000 Because Ian Edwards has been a soccer fan forever and I'm always giving him shit about it. 0.99

01:25:32.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:25:33.000 And he's got that soccer podcast.

01:25:34.000 We had made a deal like, okay, we're going to go see a soccer game together and then we'll go do a podcast.

01:25:41.000 But I went before.

01:25:42.000 Now I'm going to do it again though.

01:25:44.000 I'm going to bring him. 0.99

01:25:45.000 Yeah, it's fucking, you get it. 0.99

01:25:47.000 It's a thing. 1.00

01:25:48.000 No, it's exciting.

01:25:50.000 It's an exciting sport.

01:25:51.000 It's funny how so many kids play it, but professionally.

01:25:54.000 I mean, it never really caught on in America.

01:25:57.000 It's like school band.

01:25:59.000 A lot of kids do it.

01:26:01.000 Fourth, fifth, sixth grade, and then like, I don't know, what happened to you in the flute?

01:26:05.000 I don't I don't know.

01:26:06.000 I gave up on the recorder.

01:26:07.000 We kind of just...

01:26:08.000 I don't know.

01:26:08.000 I don't know what happened.

01:26:10.000 You know what?

01:26:10.000 I don't know what happened.

01:26:12.000 But now it's more popular than it's ever been, and I think kids stick with it.

01:26:15.000 Yeah, I think so, too.

01:26:17.000 I had a...

01:26:18.000 This is a big family problem, is I played soccer one year, and you were...

01:26:26.000 Like they said, get shin guards at the beginning of the year, and I realized...

01:26:33.000 I was like, everything was a hand-me-down.

01:26:36.000 So we had to wear a cup and shin guards, and I was eight, and the cup I got from somebody, from one of my older brothers, was too big.

01:26:50.000 So by the end of the year, I had bruises on my thighs and really bad bruises on my shins, because when they said shin guards, my family said, you mean knee pads?

01:27:03.000 That we're gonna just tell Neil our shin guards.

01:27:06.000 And I didn't realize that it was supposed to be hard.

01:27:08.000 And they were just...

01:27:09.000 Oh, whoa.

01:27:10.000 Yeah.

01:27:10.000 And they were just...

01:27:11.000 I was just like...

01:27:12.000 Really?

01:27:13.000 Yeah.

01:27:13.000 Oh, my God.

01:27:15.000 That's 10 kids. 1.00

01:27:16.000 Goddamn, dude. 0.99

01:27:18.000 That's one of those things that I just remembered. 1.00

01:27:20.000 Like, oh, yeah, that was kind of fucked up. 1.00

01:27:21.000 Shins are a fucking painful one, too, man. 1.00

01:27:24.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:27:25.000 I had a shin in...

01:27:27.000 I was doing...

01:27:28.000 I did a show.

01:27:29.000 I did my new hour, like, in New York for, like, four months, like, off-Broadway.

01:27:34.000 And every night I would kick over a chair in, like, an act-out.

01:27:40.000 And I had, like...

01:27:42.000 It looked like a compound fracture from the bruise.

01:27:46.000 I had to, like, do it... 0.96

01:27:48.000 I had to, like, restage it because I'm like, I'm gonna fucking... 0.84

01:27:52.000 I'll show you the picture. 0.88

01:27:53.000 Why were you hitting it with your shin?

01:27:55.000 Just because you were just hitting it wild?

01:27:56.000 It was kind of funnier.

01:27:58.000 Like, that was the funniest way to knock the chair over.

01:28:00.000 Oh.

01:28:01.000 And it ended up like...

01:28:03.000 That makes sense.

01:28:04.000 It just looked like a...

01:28:04.000 More awkward.

01:28:05.000 Yeah, it was just funny.

01:28:07.000 It would make a louder noise, whatever, whatever.

01:28:10.000 Do you have a photo of it?

01:28:11.000 Yeah, hold on.

01:28:12.000 I need to see this.

01:28:13.000 Yeah, no, it's a pretty arresting photo.

01:28:15.000 Hold on one second.

01:28:17.000 There's a recent trend in MMA where guys are hitting guys with calf kicks. 0.80

01:28:22.000 Well, that's what I was wondering.

01:28:24.000 Stefano was telling me that you spent yesterday, you did kicks for an hour and a half. 0.99

01:28:30.000 And I was like, doesn't that fuck, what does that fuck up? 0.99

01:28:33.000 Does it fuck up your... 1.00

01:28:36.000 Does it fuck up your ankle? 0.70

01:28:38.000 No.

01:28:39.000 Like, there's got to be some wear and tear, doesn't it?

01:28:41.000 Your knees take beating, especially if you have a hard bag.

01:28:44.000 It seems like softer bags.

01:28:45.000 You could kind of get away with it a little bit more.

01:28:48.000 I've got this nice Fairtex bag that's not too hard.

01:28:51.000 Got a little give to it.

01:28:52.000 Oh, Jesus, dude.

01:28:54.000 Ouchy, wah-wah. 0.99

01:28:56.000 Yeah, like the left, it's just... 1.00

01:28:58.000 Damn, it's swollen as fuck. 0.99

01:28:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:29:00.000 And it took like two weeks to go down once I... Damn. 0.99

01:29:02.000 I've seen a lot of those. 1.00

01:29:04.000 Yeah, I'm sure.

01:29:05.000 Yeah.

01:29:05.000 Like, because I was kicking like metal.

01:29:07.000 If you kick bone or...

01:29:09.000 Bone on bone, yeah.

01:29:10.000 You see these guys, they chop at each other's calves like almost immediately now.

01:29:15.000 It's so effective.

01:29:16.000 One hard calf kick sometimes and a guy's foot goes numb and he can't use his foot, right?

01:29:21.000 To the front?

01:29:21.000 Yeah.

01:29:22.000 Well, you kind of get it around the edge, but basically when you're kicking guys, you're kicking them like right, you want to get your shin like right into here, and there's not a lot to protect you there.

01:29:34.000 So when someone can chop away, it goes right into the nerves, and sometimes it just short circuits your foot, and your foot just goes numb and dangles.

01:29:42.000 Like Michael Chandler actually lost a fight from that.

01:29:45.000 Like the referee stopped the fight because his foot wasn't working.

01:29:48.000 Yeah, it was in Bellator. 0.98

01:29:49.000 It was kind of a fucked-up stoppage. 0.79

01:29:51.000 You know, because he was fine, and he would have gotten fine, but it was a fairly new thing. 0.97

01:29:56.000 This calf-kicking thing is like a pretty recent craze.

01:30:00.000 Well, it felt like they were trying to chop the front for a while, right?

01:30:03.000 They're doing that, too, still.

01:30:04.000 They're doing that, too.

01:30:05.000 Jon Jones is the master of that.

01:30:06.000 And guys must have gotten just snapped bones from that, correct?

01:30:09.000 Well, they've got destroyed knees, for sure.

01:30:11.000 For sure.

01:30:12.000 So, in this fight, it was with Brent Primus, and so he hit him a bunch of times with really good low calf kicks, and you see his leg is giving out.

01:30:22.000 See it?

01:30:23.000 Oh, wow.

01:30:23.000 It's like it's not working right, and then he chops at it again, and then it just gives out.

01:30:27.000 So his knee is just not working, or his leg, rather, is just not working.

01:30:32.000 And it's a nerve thing.

01:30:33.000 Yeah.

01:30:34.000 It's not bone or muscle.

01:30:35.000 It's totally a nerve thing, and he's trying to punch him, but look, you can tell he's got no balance because his left leg is just not working.

01:30:43.000 And the referee stopped the fight.

01:30:46.000 Do you have a dress code for announcing?

01:30:50.000 I dress nice.

01:30:51.000 I wear a suit.

01:30:52.000 I have a David August suit.

01:30:54.000 But do you have one suit?

01:30:58.000 No, they may be a bunch of suits, but I always wear basically the same color.

01:31:02.000 It's just black shirt, black pants.

01:31:04.000 I just try to look the least distracting.

01:31:09.000 I just want to blend in.

01:31:11.000 I just want to get the guys on camera.

01:31:13.000 But sometimes you'll be wearing a t-shirt, no?

01:31:16.000 Am I making that up?

01:31:16.000 No, no, no.

01:31:17.000 Is that weigh-ins you're wearing a t-shirt?

01:31:18.000 Yes, weigh-ins.

01:31:19.000 The weigh-ins are pretty casual.

01:31:21.000 The weigh-ins are basically just ceremonial weigh-in.

01:31:25.000 Everyone's already weighed in that day.

01:31:27.000 It's not like that's the moment where they get on the scale.

01:31:29.000 Oh, that's like for the show.

01:31:30.000 Yeah.

01:31:30.000 Oh, that's interesting.

01:31:31.000 Yeah, so you get to see them like oftentimes like 15, 20 pounds heavier than their actual weight.

01:31:35.000 Because we don't do the weigh-ins until 4 p.m., but I'm pretty sure they can start weighing in early in the morning.

01:31:43.000 Sometimes as early as like 10 a.m., maybe even earlier.

01:31:45.000 So they've already, they're done cutting weight?

01:31:47.000 Yes, exactly.

01:31:48.000 Oh, that's interesting.

01:31:49.000 So they've cut weight and then they started putting water back in, so you're catching them like four or five hours later, they look great.

01:31:54.000 They're all like rehydrated.

01:31:56.000 Great.

01:31:57.000 And they'll do it slowly and, you know, take in some fruits and some, depends on what kind of food they eat, but they'll, they have to kind of slowly start eating again, the ones who cut a lot of weight.

01:32:07.000 What do you attribute the fights at weigh-ins to?

01:32:12.000 I don't know, man.

01:32:14.000 No, I guess like trying to intimidate each other.

01:32:17.000 Right. 0.97

01:32:17.000 And then it's just like, I ain't no bitch. 0.97

01:32:19.000 You ain't no bitch. 1.00

01:32:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:32:20.000 There's a lot.

01:32:21.000 There's also they can't wait to fight.

01:32:23.000 Right.

01:32:24.000 A lot of anxiety.

01:32:25.000 And they think they might be able to get a psychological edge.

01:32:27.000 You know, but sometimes...

01:32:29.000 Like, one dude, he got pushed in a fight.

01:32:35.000 Drakkar Close.

01:32:36.000 He was going to fight Jeremy Stevens.

01:32:38.000 And Jeremy Stevens shoved him, like, really hard at the weigh-in. 0.97

01:32:43.000 And he fucking blew a disc out. 0.96

01:32:46.000 Like, something happened. 0.99

01:32:47.000 And the guy that got pushed?

01:32:48.000 He got hurt.

01:32:49.000 He got hurt because he didn't expect it. 0.99

01:32:52.000 And he was fucked up for, like, a year after that. 0.98

01:32:55.000 And did he lose the fight? 0.99

01:32:57.000 No, he never fought.

01:32:59.000 Oh, they canceled the fight.

01:33:00.000 They canceled the fight because of the push.

01:33:02.000 And if you watch him, watch how he pushes him away.

01:33:05.000 See that?

01:33:06.000 See his neck snaps?

01:33:07.000 See, because he doesn't expect that to happen.

01:33:09.000 So it's like whiplash.

01:33:10.000 Yeah.

01:33:11.000 Like that wasn't his, like watch it again.

01:33:14.000 Watch his head.

01:33:15.000 See how his head snaps? 0.99

01:33:16.000 You can pop something in your neck like that. 1.00

01:33:19.000 That's car accident type shit. 1.00

01:33:21.000 This guy's staring into our soul in the middle. 1.00

01:33:24.000 This white guy's staring right at us.

01:33:26.000 Sean Shelby.

01:33:27.000 Sean, what are you looking at, Sean?

01:33:29.000 But that push right there cost him the fight.

01:33:33.000 That's one of those things is like, does he get a settlement?

01:33:36.000 I don't know what happened.

01:33:37.000 I really have no idea other than Dracar was out for quite a while.

01:33:41.000 He was out for quite a while.

01:33:42.000 Did you go to that island?

01:33:43.000 No, I didn't.

01:33:44.000 That's in Abu Dhabi.

01:33:46.000 Oh, got it.

01:33:47.000 But that's like, when they were doing the fight island thing, that was a giant commitment.

01:33:51.000 Like, you're over there for many days.

01:33:53.000 Because they had very strict COVID quarantine rules.

01:33:56.000 Yeah.

01:33:58.000 You couldn't leave the hotel.

01:33:59.000 It's like meeting Putin.

01:34:02.000 Putin would make people...

01:34:04.000 You had to get tested a week.

01:34:06.000 You literally had to wait a week.

01:34:08.000 You have to wait a week to meet Putin.

01:34:09.000 Is that now?

01:34:11.000 Now.

01:34:12.000 Because of COVID, because he's compromised.

01:34:16.000 Because he has blood cancer.

01:34:18.000 Is that real?

01:34:18.000 That's what I've heard, yeah.

01:34:19.000 Yeah, but are we being propagandized?

01:34:22.000 I've heard it from people who would know, who heard it from like, that's a pretty good source.

01:34:31.000 But I don't know. 0.99

01:34:33.000 Who fucking knows? 1.00

01:34:34.000 Who fucking knows? 0.99

01:34:35.000 I don't, you know, again, it's like, in the new information economy, Wow. 0.99

01:34:41.000 Oliver Stone says, Putin had cancer.

01:34:43.000 In years, he shadowed him for his project.

01:34:45.000 Wow.

01:34:46.000 Well, they're saying that's why he's so bloated. 1.00

01:34:48.000 It's not just like some Russian head bloat shit. 1.00

01:34:52.000 It's that head. 1.00

01:34:53.000 It's like, remember when Jerry Lewis was taking steroids?

01:34:56.000 And he had a big face like that, big moon face like that from the steroids.

01:35:00.000 Yeah, I knew a dude who was on prednisone for something and that happened with him.

01:35:05.000 He just blew up.

01:35:07.000 That's what they're saying to him. 1.00

01:35:08.000 So is this, I mean, what the fuck? 0.99

01:35:10.000 What does a guy like that do? 0.99

01:35:12.000 A guy who's been a dictator forever.

01:35:14.000 And you're dying of cancer.

01:35:15.000 Do you give up the throne?

01:35:17.000 Like how does he stop running the country?

01:35:19.000 Does he try to run it until he, like imagine if he's dying.

01:35:22.000 Does he try to run it until he's dead?

01:35:24.000 I'm sure he's delusional.

01:35:26.000 You know what I mean?

01:35:27.000 Like, just being a dictator makes you...

01:35:29.000 It's a term I use called, when someone's in a fixed fight, I call it a Putin karate tournament. 0.99

01:35:39.000 Like, oh, this is a fucking Putin karate tournament. 0.99

01:35:41.000 Like, when someone's gaslighting me and their friends are like, this is a fucking Putin karate tournament. 1.00

01:35:45.000 That's so funny. 0.99

01:35:46.000 That's such a great expression for gaslighting a Putin karate tournament. 0.99

01:35:49.000 Yeah, it's like, so he's got, he's just gonna be like, you're the champ, Vladimir, until he fucking dies. 1.00

01:35:57.000 Wow. 0.99

01:35:58.000 I bet that's what happens.

01:36:00.000 I bet the amount of detachment that you get when you're a dictator, you know, they talk about the amount of detachment you get when you're wealthy, they talk about the amount of detachment you get when you're famous, and then it becomes like when you're a famous politician, like the amount of detachment you must get, like how do you relate to the regular folks when you're the President of the United States?

01:36:17.000 You probably don't. 0.98

01:36:18.000 But the amount of detachment you get when you're a fucking dictator, when you're literally the guy killing your enemies. 1.00

01:36:24.000 You can kill anyone. 1.00

01:36:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:24.000 Kill anyone. 1.00

01:36:25.000 Poison them. 1.00

01:36:26.000 And he's doing it in the age of the internet.

01:36:29.000 It's not like Russia is not like North Korea where they don't have access.

01:36:33.000 It's not...

01:36:35.000 Unlike North Korea. 0.53

01:36:36.000 I mean, there's a movie called...

01:36:39.000 They have access to the internet, right? 0.99

01:36:41.000 No, they have shit blocked. 1.00

01:36:43.000 They have a lot of shit. 1.00

01:36:44.000 They're not getting information about Ukraine. 1.00

01:36:45.000 Okay, right now, yes, with Ukraine.

01:36:48.000 Yes, definitely.

01:36:49.000 But I mean, like, when he was running the country up until this war, they basically had the regular internet, didn't they?

01:36:55.000 There's a documentary called Hypernormalization.

01:36:58.000 Yes, I saw that.

01:37:00.000 Yeah, Adam Curtis, where it's just like they create this weird, you don't know what...

01:37:04.000 Is real what you saw, what it's contradicted, state messaging, reality, like where they've done things where they would change stories.

01:37:18.000 Like, when they were bombing, they had, like, false flag shit with Chechnya and all that shit, and then they would change the story, like, five times in an hour. 0.97

01:37:26.000 On TV. And then, so by the end of it, you're like, I don't fucking know. 0.99

01:37:31.000 I like that explanation.

01:37:34.000 So, they, I think they have, like, limited...

01:37:39.000 I was in China right before COVID. I was scouting COVID. I was in China, and you can use VPNs, which is like you can get around the sort of...

01:37:55.000 Yeah, they call it a mesh curtain, meaning like, it's a curtain, but you can get, yeah.

01:38:03.000 And then, but my buddy told me that when there's like a big state operation, VPNs don't work. 0.92

01:38:10.000 Like, there's just levels to the amount of shit that they can control.

01:38:16.000 But up until the invasion of Ukraine, Russia's internet, was it basically open, like ours? 0.98

01:38:22.000 I would guess it was not, but...

01:38:25.000 Since 2012, Russia maintains a centralized internet blacklist known as the single register maintained by the federal service for supervision of communications, information, technology, and mass media.

01:38:39.000 Look at that word.

01:38:40.000 How do you say that word?

01:38:41.000 Neil, give it a go.

01:38:44.000 Roskomnadzor.

01:38:45.000 Roskomnadzor.

01:38:46.000 The list is used for the censorship of individual URLs, domain names, and IP addresses.

01:38:52.000 Yeah, like China, Google, nope.

01:38:55.000 But Edward Snowden lives in Russia.

01:38:57.000 This is what's confusing to me. 0.99

01:38:58.000 For sure, that guy has access to the fucking full internet. 0.99

01:39:04.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:39:04.000 I mean, I bet he figured it out. 0.99

01:39:06.000 But it's like...

01:39:07.000 Does my mom have unlimited internet? 0.99

01:39:13.000 She goes down the main streets.

01:39:15.000 Right, right.

01:39:16.000 Your mom's on Facebook. 1.00

01:39:17.000 Yeah, Facebook fucking... 1.00

01:39:19.000 That should be a t-shirt. 1.00

01:39:19.000 Your mom's on Facebook? 1.00

01:39:20.000 Yeah, your mom's on Facebook.

01:39:21.000 She's on the main street.

01:39:23.000 She's not going... 0.99

01:39:25.000 People like you and I will go to... 0.98

01:39:27.000 And then people that are 20 are going to places we don't fucking understand. 0.98

01:39:30.000 Right. 0.82

01:39:30.000 So it's just a matter of open, but you're kind of just naturally cautious. 0.82

01:39:37.000 You read one thing about viruses, and you're like, I shouldn't go on that.

01:39:41.000 So I think most people...

01:39:43.000 I don't think old people know about VPNs.

01:39:45.000 You know what I mean?

01:39:46.000 I think that there's...

01:39:49.000 Truthfully, I don't know, but I'm guessing it's not as open as America.

01:39:55.000 No, no, it can't be as open as America. 0.98

01:39:57.000 There's no fucking way. 0.94

01:39:58.000 But I thought that for a long time, they had a pretty normal access to the internet. 0.98

01:40:04.000 I didn't know that since 2012...

01:40:06.000 VPNs have been outlawed since 2017 there.

01:40:09.000 Wow.

01:40:10.000 What happens if you get busted with a VPN? Imagine, you're doing time.

01:40:13.000 What'd they get you for?

01:40:14.000 VPN. I was trying to watch Netflix in a different category.

01:40:18.000 Did you watch the Navalny documentary?

01:40:20.000 What's that?

01:40:21.000 Alexander Navalny, the guy, like, Putin's main...

01:40:23.000 No.

01:40:25.000 It's on CNN, or it's on HBO Plus. 0.98

01:40:27.000 I don't fucking know. 0.94

01:40:28.000 It's somewhere. 0.98

01:40:29.000 Just type in Navalny, and you'll find it.

01:40:32.000 But that guy got poisoned. 0.99

01:40:36.000 I mean, he got fucking poisoned twice. 0.99

01:40:40.000 Yeah, that's the guy. 0.99

01:40:40.000 And then they have audio of the plane. 0.99

01:40:44.000 And he's just going like, oh.

01:40:51.000 He's just moaning.

01:40:53.000 By the way, it's not a shot of him, so it's just a shot of an airplane.

01:40:57.000 They have a really nice...

01:40:59.000 They filmed him nice. 1.00

01:41:07.000 Yeah, this fucking guy. 1.00

01:41:10.000 It's amazing the amount of power that Putin's been able to hold on to. 1.00

01:41:14.000 You know what's making me laugh is when they said they're gonna put the squeeze on his mistress?

01:41:19.000 And I bet Putin's like, oh no, not my mistress!

01:41:23.000 Like, but I promised her I'd always be good!

01:41:26.000 And he's like, yeah, go ahead and squeeze her, it's fine.

01:41:28.000 There's a reason she's my mistress and not my wife. 1.00

01:41:30.000 Like, she's not my top broad. 0.96

01:41:33.000 You gotta squeeze her, squeeze her.

01:41:34.000 I mean, he must have like a harem.

01:41:37.000 Yeah.

01:41:37.000 If you're the president of Russia for that long, I mean, he gets whatever he wants.

01:41:43.000 You know the story about the football ring?

01:41:45.000 You know the NFL story?

01:41:46.000 The Robert Kraft story?

01:41:48.000 I don't exactly remember it.

01:41:50.000 Sturgill Simpson was the first person to tell me it.

01:41:52.000 It's like, what?

01:41:53.000 That's real?

01:41:55.000 Robert lets him hold the ring, and Putin just takes it, puts it on, and walks away. 0.99

01:42:02.000 And he starts moving towards like, hey, that's my fucking Super Bowl ring! 0.98

01:42:05.000 And the Russians put their hand on his chest like, this is... 0.99

01:42:09.000 No, this is him.

01:42:11.000 This is welcome to Putin's rally tournament. 0.87

01:42:13.000 Kraft explained the incident to those in attendance at Carnegie Hall's Medal of Excellence Gala, saying, I took out the ring and showed it to Putin, and he put it on and he goes, I can kill someone with this ring.

01:42:25.000 Put my hand out, and he put it in his pocket, and three KGB guys got around him and walked out.

01:42:32.000 So he just put it in his pocket and said, I'll pick this.

01:42:34.000 I killed someone. 0.93

01:42:35.000 It's just mine now. 0.85

01:42:36.000 Thank you for this gift. 0.88

01:42:37.000 First of all, killing someone with a ring is super impractical. 0.96

01:42:40.000 You'll hurt your hand. 0.95

01:42:41.000 You're going to hurt the ring, too. 0.99

01:42:43.000 I'd rather punch someone without a ring. 0.91

01:42:45.000 Rings are not—they kind of get in the way. 0.84

01:42:47.000 It's not a brass knuckle.

01:42:49.000 You want to use the knuckle, right?

01:42:51.000 Yeah.

01:42:51.000 That's what you want to strike?

01:42:52.000 Brass knuckles are awesome.

01:42:53.000 If you have a pair of brass knuckles, boy, that's real.

01:42:55.000 Is this the hardest part of the hand?

01:42:58.000 That's the part you can hit things the hardest, for sure, because it's protected.

01:43:02.000 The top of your hand, like where you punch with knuckles, is a terrible way to hit something.

01:43:05.000 Yeah, everyone breaks their hand.

01:43:06.000 Yeah, super common.

01:43:08.000 Well, it's kind of funny, though, that that is what's protected, because it is protected by gloves, but so is your skin.

01:43:14.000 Your skin's also protected by that, too.

01:43:15.000 When they do bare knuckle boxing, people get really caught up. 0.93

01:43:18.000 But what's crazy is, you can elbow somebody in the face, you can knee them in the face, and you can kick them in the face. 0.89

01:43:24.000 Like, you can hit them with your heel in the face. 0.99

01:43:26.000 And that's stronger, right? 0.97

01:43:28.000 Oh my god.

01:43:29.000 Like, significantly.

01:43:30.000 Oh yeah.

01:43:31.000 I can kick right through that door with my heel. 0.99

01:43:35.000 I can just walk up to it and stomp a hole. 0.99

01:43:38.000 That is not another part of my body I can hit it that hard with. 0.99

01:43:41.000 You're heel.

01:43:42.000 You're running all day.

01:43:44.000 Well, that's what I was saying.

01:43:45.000 So there's no repetitive stress injuries with...

01:43:48.000 You just train for kickboxing, right?

01:43:53.000 Or jujitsu?

01:43:53.000 You definitely get repetitive stress injuries.

01:43:55.000 I have injuries all over the place. 0.99

01:43:57.000 My knees are always fucked. 0.98

01:43:58.000 There's always something like my lower back hurts a little sometimes. 0.99

01:44:02.000 There's a certain amount of recovery you have to do when you're doing that kind of explosive stuff.

01:44:07.000 And you have to be really careful with stretching.

01:44:10.000 You've got to be really careful with the time off in between.

01:44:13.000 The recovery stuff is really important, like the saunas and cold plunge.

01:44:17.000 I showed you the new cold plunge I set up here. 0.93

01:44:19.000 That's fucking real important. 0.98

01:44:21.000 You need recovery. 0.98

01:44:22.000 You can't just work out.

01:44:24.000 And sometimes people just go too much one way.

01:44:26.000 Well, that's what most HGH and all that drug use in sports is just recovery.

01:44:31.000 Yeah, everything is recovering.

01:44:33.000 Yeah, testosterone as well.

01:44:34.000 I mean, look, you don't get big muscles from it.

01:44:36.000 You get big muscles from the work that you do and then you recover.

01:44:39.000 You get an unusual ability to recover.

01:44:42.000 And then, of course, there's stuff like what bodybuilders do.

01:44:44.000 You're taking it to a completely different level.

01:44:47.000 What they're doing is like...

01:44:48.000 An amazing level, by the way, guys.

01:44:50.000 Keep it up.

01:44:51.000 What an insane sport.

01:44:52.000 Have you been to a competition?

01:44:54.000 No.

01:44:55.000 It's one of the most riveting.

01:44:57.000 I went 25 years ago on accident.

01:45:01.000 So strange.

01:45:01.000 I was walking past the beacon in New York and there was like bodybuilding competition this Saturday.

01:45:06.000 I was like, well, I know what I'm doing.

01:45:08.000 I literally just went to the box office.

01:45:10.000 Handed over the money.

01:45:11.000 Was it really good?

01:45:12.000 It was...

01:45:13.000 It's crazy.

01:45:14.000 It's just a crazy culture.

01:45:16.000 Like the documentary...

01:45:18.000 Pumping Iron?

01:45:19.000 Generation Iron.

01:45:20.000 Oh.

01:45:20.000 One, two, and three on Netflix.

01:45:22.000 Amazing.

01:45:23.000 Excellent.

01:45:24.000 Maniacs, these guys.

01:45:25.000 Oh, yeah.

01:45:26.000 I've had Ronnie Coleman on the podcast.

01:45:27.000 And Dorian Yates.

01:45:29.000 The white guys put...

01:45:30.000 They do a roll-on...

01:45:33.000 Like a paint roller spray tan.

01:45:35.000 Oh yeah, me and Shob, there's a YouTube video of us that is animated of us talking about how they have chocolate body because you're not allowed to do blackface so they get all the way up to the face and they don't do the face because they used to do the face. 0.89

01:45:50.000 They can't get away with that anymore. 0.97

01:45:53.000 It's fucking super white, Bill Burr looking guys. 1.00

01:45:56.000 We're black from the neck down. 1.00

01:45:58.000 It's so crazy.

01:46:00.000 That's very funny.

01:46:00.000 It's so crazy.

01:46:01.000 But the video of me and Shob is fucking hilarious because it's animated. 0.90

01:46:06.000 Yeah.

01:46:06.000 And they just show, like, the guy who did it, Pauly Tune, is amazing.

01:46:10.000 He animates these little funny clips of stuff, and that's probably one of the funniest ones ever.

01:46:14.000 It's just so preposterous that people paint their whole body black.

01:46:19.000 Well, and that it's just accepted within the sport.

01:46:23.000 Well, it does make your body look better.

01:46:25.000 You know, like, the dark colors, like, they highlight all of the muscles.

01:46:29.000 It, like, really accentuates all the muscles.

01:46:31.000 Yeah, it's more shadow, right?

01:46:32.000 Yeah, well, you're looking at, like, a really white guy, like a William Montgomery white guy.

01:46:36.000 Like, that's, like, you're looking, it's, like, blinding.

01:46:39.000 You don't know, where's his muscles?

01:46:40.000 Can you tell?

01:46:40.000 It's almost like you need to put some dark on him to, like, get the...

01:46:44.000 Chocolate him up.

01:46:45.000 Chocolate him up!

01:46:46.000 Chocolate love to get the sense of what it really looks good.

01:46:50.000 You know, what muscles are in good condition. 0.99

01:46:53.000 But it's such a crazy fucking sport because those guys are on death's door. 0.99

01:46:57.000 They're ready to die of dehydration when they're up there. 1.00

01:47:00.000 They're starving to death.

01:47:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:47:02.000 When you're that shredded, fucking, argh! 1.00

01:47:04.000 That is so not normal. 1.00

01:47:06.000 No.

01:47:06.000 It's so not healthy.

01:47:07.000 Like, you can't be healthy.

01:47:09.000 No!

01:47:09.000 No, they just, like, they're ready to black out.

01:47:12.000 And if you're gonna date one of these guys, be prepared to make chicken breasts.

01:47:17.000 A lot of chicken breast and broccoli.

01:47:20.000 Yeah, you have to eat, like, very lean stuff.

01:47:23.000 Because you're literally trying to get down to...

01:47:25.000 I mean, what is the lowest they get to when they're walking around?

01:47:28.000 Let's guess.

01:47:29.000 What percentage body fat do you think?

01:47:33.000 Mr. Olympia.

01:47:34.000 Let's come up with a...

01:47:35.000 4%?

01:47:36.000 I think it's lower.

01:47:37.000 I think they get lower.

01:47:39.000 I think they get to, like, 3%.

01:47:42.000 Lower?

01:47:42.000 Way lower.

01:47:43.000 Way lower?

01:47:44.000 Really?

01:47:44.000 There's only two levels.

01:47:46.000 I think it's a claim he made on here.

01:47:48.000 Who is it?

01:47:48.000 Ronnie Coleman said he was 0.3% body fat.

01:47:51.000 Oh, but that might not be real.

01:47:53.000 Somebody might have told him that.

01:47:54.000 Do they count intestines?

01:47:56.000 That's a good question.

01:47:57.000 You know what I mean?

01:47:58.000 When you're that lean, I don't think you have fat anywhere. 0.99

01:48:02.000 When you get that lean, it's not like you would keep gut fat while you're that shredded in your legs and your ass and your back. 0.77

01:48:09.000 When they get that Christmas tree thing in their lower back and they're flexing, I didn't even know if those were muscles. 0.98

01:48:14.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

01:48:16.000 It's preposterous.

01:48:17.000 At the competitions, people are yelling out like, pop it, Ronnie!

01:48:21.000 And they take it and they have to place their calves.

01:48:25.000 It's amazing.

01:48:26.000 Well, Ronnie, unfortunately, was a guy who suffered from a lot of back injuries and worked through them because he's so tough that he would blow his back out in mid-set and keep doing the squats and just destroyed his back.

01:48:39.000 And he's had every single disc in his back fused now.

01:48:43.000 It's odd.

01:48:43.000 They don't even make that much money doing it.

01:48:45.000 Claims this guy had less than 1% body fat before he died.

01:48:48.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:48:50.000 Sorry to laugh.

01:48:50.000 Andreas Munzer.

01:48:52.000 Oh, my God!

01:48:54.000 Look at that!

01:48:56.000 He looks like a guy.

01:48:57.000 He looks like an open-miker. 0.85

01:48:59.000 Go back to that first picture again. 0.66

01:49:02.000 That's insane, man.

01:49:06.000 That's insane.

01:49:07.000 That is so strong. 0.70

01:49:08.000 Look at that white face, though.

01:49:10.000 Look how white his face is.

01:49:11.000 He doesn't even get laid that much more.

01:49:14.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:49:15.000 He's got a little bit of chocolate face there.

01:49:16.000 He's also got that weird thing where, like, you don't...

01:49:19.000 Some guys shouldn't be jacked like that.

01:49:22.000 Like, it's not for your body.

01:49:24.000 Look at that.

01:49:25.000 You don't think that looks good on his body?

01:49:27.000 Not with that head. 0.77

01:49:30.000 He looks like human photoshop.

01:49:33.000 That's hilarious.

01:49:37.000 Evolution wise, you're not supposed to look like that.

01:49:41.000 Really?

01:49:42.000 That's what you see?

01:49:43.000 He looks like an IT guy or something.

01:49:49.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:49:50.000 It's just not for you.

01:49:52.000 Without antibiotics, he doesn't make it.

01:49:56.000 Antibiotics? 1.00

01:49:56.000 Meaning his uncles and grandfathers should be dead. 1.00

01:49:59.000 Look at that. 0.97

01:50:00.000 Is that real?

01:50:01.000 I don't know.

01:50:02.000 That doesn't seem real.

01:50:03.000 His head popped behind a different body.

01:50:06.000 That's so different than those other pictures.

01:50:08.000 It looks like a carnival thing where you stick your head in the circle.

01:50:12.000 Yeah, but it looks photoshopped.

01:50:13.000 That actually looks photoshopped.

01:50:15.000 That's gotta be photoshopped.

01:50:16.000 Yeah, it looks so big.

01:50:18.000 I don't think that's real, Jamie.

01:50:20.000 And the face looks like it's got a different resolution than the body.

01:50:23.000 Am I wrong about that?

01:50:24.000 No.

01:50:24.000 You're not wrong, but it looks weird.

01:50:26.000 It doesn't look right.

01:50:28.000 It looks too cartoony.

01:50:29.000 See?

01:50:30.000 Look how different he looks there.

01:50:31.000 It's just not shredded at all.

01:50:34.000 Yeah, but dude, that's so big.

01:50:36.000 Look how small his waist is.

01:50:37.000 It doesn't look real.

01:50:38.000 The lat? 0.79

01:50:39.000 Like, that looks real.

01:50:41.000 That looks like a super jack guy, but it looks real. 0.69

01:50:44.000 That other one didn't look real.

01:50:46.000 See, like, if you see the difference, the amount of...

01:50:48.000 Okay, that's the real picture.

01:50:50.000 That's the actual picture.

01:50:52.000 Okay, so clearly.

01:50:53.000 So that looks normal.

01:50:55.000 I mean, for a super jack bodybuilder guy.

01:50:58.000 That other one was too big. 0.99

01:50:59.000 So that's the actual picture before they fucked with it. 0.98

01:51:01.000 You can't tell these days. 0.99

01:51:03.000 These wacky kids, their Photoshop skills.

01:51:06.000 It's a deep break.

01:51:08.000 So that was what his liver looked like?

01:51:10.000 When I found his name, it said that they did an autopsy and it had less than 1% body fat.

01:51:15.000 Whoa, look at that girl. 1.00

01:51:17.000 Look at the girl with the green top. 0.98

01:51:19.000 Click on that.

01:51:20.000 That's insane!

01:51:22.000 Oh my god, look at her abs. 1.00

01:51:25.000 A lot of these articles, though, I will note, are saying you should not aim for 0% body fat.

01:51:29.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.

01:51:30.000 Like, what you're seeing with her is super, super fucking impressive, but also very unhealthy. 0.85

01:51:36.000 No, yeah, it's not good. 0.96

01:51:37.000 You can't maintain that. 0.93

01:51:38.000 Your body needs some fat, and it's also, it fucks with your thinking.

01:51:42.000 Like, you can't think good. 0.93

01:51:44.000 It's just an eating disorder.

01:51:46.000 It's like a bad eating disorder.

01:51:48.000 There's something to it.

01:51:50.000 It's like a body dysmorphia thing.

01:51:52.000 The thing about the biggest bodybuilders, sometimes they don't feel big, they feel small, and so they'll wear bulky clothes to cover their body.

01:51:59.000 It's really weird.

01:52:01.000 Yeah.

01:52:01.000 Well, body dysmorphia is hard not to have.

01:52:04.000 Is that real?

01:52:05.000 No, that's real.

01:52:06.000 No, but that's synthol.

01:52:08.000 That's what I meant.

01:52:08.000 Yeah, it's not real muscles.

01:52:10.000 Yeah, that fucking dummy. 1.00

01:52:12.000 Like, there's so many dummies that inject oil into their muscles. 1.00

01:52:16.000 It makes their muscles swell and look big, but it looks like that.

01:52:19.000 It looks like you've got water balloons underneath the surface.

01:52:21.000 Yeah, it looks like fake.

01:52:23.000 It looks so crazy. 0.97

01:52:24.000 It's also, like, useless. 0.99

01:52:26.000 Useless, doesn't work, and looks insane. 0.99

01:52:29.000 You can't compete. 1.00

01:52:30.000 No.

01:52:30.000 There's no advantage.

01:52:32.000 You can trick like one person.

01:52:33.000 You're not tricking anybody.

01:52:34.000 And it doesn't look good on anybody.

01:52:36.000 But the thing is, whenever there's a thing you can do, you're going to find someone who goes too far.

01:52:42.000 Some people got face tattoos.

01:52:45.000 You're like, this doesn't look that bad.

01:52:47.000 And then someone makes their whole face look like a skeleton.

01:52:49.000 And you're like, oh, Jesus.

01:52:51.000 There's always gonna be someone that does that.

01:52:53.000 And with that kind of stuff, there's a whole group of guys.

01:52:56.000 It's extreme to begin with.

01:52:58.000 The interest is extreme, and then it gets like... 0.89

01:53:00.000 But it's also like girls with giant fake butts, and they don't know that everybody knows. 1.00

01:53:04.000 That looks insane. 0.99

01:53:05.000 It's so sad.

01:53:07.000 I find it so sad.

01:53:08.000 Some of those girls can barely walk. 1.00

01:53:13.000 It's so odd.

01:53:14.000 It's just weird.

01:53:16.000 That they...

01:53:18.000 I mean, it's just bad body dysmorphia.

01:53:20.000 Yeah, it's the weird society thing that is happening where people are shoving things into their body and it becomes normal. 0.87

01:53:30.000 Like, fake boobs are so normal.

01:53:32.000 It doesn't freak anybody out at all.

01:53:34.000 You've got to realize that didn't even exist until what?

01:53:37.000 1980-something?

01:53:38.000 Remember that?

01:53:39.000 There was a documentary, I think it was on HBO, with David Schwimmer.

01:53:43.000 I think he played the first boob...

01:53:45.000 Oh, yeah. 0.74

01:53:46.000 Breast Man or something. 0.62

01:53:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:53:48.000 That was it.

01:53:48.000 I mean, think how crazy it is that super invasive plastic surgery is uber prevalent.

01:53:53.000 Just uber prevalent. 0.84

01:53:55.000 And all it does is make boobs pop out. 1.00

01:53:59.000 That's all it does. 0.84

01:54:00.000 Makes them stick out more. 0.99

01:54:01.000 And you know that there's a fucking surgery that took place where there's a bag of stuff underneath them. 0.99

01:54:08.000 And you're like, great. 0.99

01:54:08.000 No, it's so odd. 0.99

01:54:10.000 And then people act like... 0.99

01:54:12.000 I've dated so few women with fake boobs because it's like, you're lying. 0.99

01:54:19.000 You're just lying. 0.98

01:54:20.000 It's people that catfish you and then you show up and it's like, so am I supposed to not say anything?

01:54:27.000 You know you don't look like the way you presented yourself.

01:54:30.000 But the reality is that they look better.

01:54:32.000 That's what's so wild about it.

01:54:35.000 Yeah.

01:54:36.000 Joe, that's the problem I have.

01:54:38.000 No one cares!

01:54:39.000 Is that they do technically look better.

01:54:41.000 And guys don't care.

01:54:42.000 No.

01:54:43.000 It doesn't bother them at all.

01:54:45.000 Uh, no.

01:54:47.000 Didn't you used to do that joke?

01:54:48.000 Like, if I can touch them, they're real or something?

01:54:51.000 It's like, uh, there's no equivalent on the male side.

01:54:56.000 There's nothing like that.

01:54:57.000 Debt.

01:54:58.000 Debt.

01:54:59.000 Yeah, like, you can pretend.

01:55:00.000 Yeah, debt.

01:55:01.000 You can pretend you're rich and you're really, like, deeply in debt and barely hanging on to all this stuff.

01:55:05.000 Yeah, that's all we get.

01:55:07.000 Yeah, and then those are the guys that hit the girls up for the loans.

01:55:09.000 But I think I've heard guys get pec implants.

01:55:12.000 Yeah, there's one crazy guy that we detailed on the show.

01:55:16.000 He's like a male Ken doll, and he's had more than 100 surgeries.

01:55:19.000 Out of his mind.

01:55:20.000 Everything. 0.97

01:55:21.000 All his muscles are fake.

01:55:22.000 He gets fake thigh muscles, and they look great.

01:55:25.000 The thigh muscles look great in his jeans.

01:55:27.000 They really do.

01:55:28.000 Can't touch him, though.

01:55:29.000 No, they probably hurt like hell.

01:55:31.000 It's got plastic in there.

01:55:32.000 There was an article I haven't read yet about how the recovery from Brazilian butt lifts.

01:55:37.000 It's like you can't sit down.

01:55:42.000 I'm assuming you have to lay on your stomach for a couple weeks.

01:55:46.000 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:55:47.000 How do you shit? 1.00

01:55:48.000 Standing up in the shower? 1.00

01:55:50.000 Um...

01:55:52.000 It's a great question.

01:55:53.000 And I don't want Jamie to look it up.

01:55:55.000 I was just saying it.

01:55:56.000 I'm looking at the video of this guy and he's got butt implants. 0.63

01:55:59.000 It's the guy.

01:56:00.000 It's like it's his rifle.

01:56:02.000 There's not a chance in hell that this man is straight.

01:56:06.000 There's not a chance in hell.

01:56:07.000 Oh, that's his rival.

01:56:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:56:09.000 So that guy there is the one on the right.

01:56:12.000 That's the guy that's had 100 surgeries, and this is the one who's like him.

01:56:15.000 He's at 90. He's at 90?

01:56:18.000 I wonder.

01:56:19.000 Oh, these guys are so sad.

01:56:19.000 Look at these guys.

01:56:20.000 That look is crazy.

01:56:23.000 Multiple liposuction, etching.

01:56:26.000 So he's at etching on his fat transfer.

01:56:28.000 He looks like he's got a filter on his fat.

01:56:32.000 He looks like an Instagram filter.

01:56:34.000 Yeah, they both do. 1.00

01:56:37.000 Look at his butt. 0.99

01:56:37.000 Like coloring. 0.99

01:56:39.000 That's wild.

01:56:39.000 He had a butt enhancement, bro.

01:56:40.000 Look at that. 0.91

01:56:41.000 It's a hell of a butt, though. 0.98

01:56:42.000 I mean, what a dunk. 0.99

01:56:44.000 The guy's jacked.

01:56:45.000 You gotta give it to him. 0.98

01:56:46.000 Out of the two of them, I think he's the hotter one.

01:56:48.000 You like the guy on the left?

01:56:49.000 No, the other one.

01:56:49.000 The one on the right.

01:56:50.000 On our right.

01:56:51.000 That's more your type.

01:56:51.000 See, look at his dunn.

01:56:52.000 I like the guy that's closer to my body type.

01:56:54.000 Yeah, like there.

01:56:56.000 That's you.

01:56:56.000 I like the guy on the left.

01:56:57.000 So this guy, the guy on the left is the guy who has the thigh implants.

01:57:00.000 He's got plastic in his thighs that make his muscles look bigger.

01:57:03.000 And his shoulders, his biceps.

01:57:05.000 Yeah, everywhere.

01:57:05.000 All over the place.

01:57:06.000 So don't expect him to pick anything heavy up.

01:57:09.000 Oh, dance, boys.

01:57:10.000 Yay.

01:57:11.000 See the muscles, how they poke out?

01:57:14.000 That's pretty nice.

01:57:14.000 Pretty wild.

01:57:15.000 That line is gross.

01:57:16.000 It just doesn't match up with the upper thigh.

01:57:18.000 But I wonder if, like, what happens if you're doing that and you start lifting weights?

01:57:23.000 Like, you start actually getting big.

01:57:25.000 Do you have to take them out?

01:57:26.000 Your skin probably stretches to a point.

01:57:29.000 And maybe it would start hurting. 1.00

01:57:30.000 Like, you're shoving these implants into your fucking skin as your body grows. 0.99

01:57:35.000 And these things are stuck and then they get infected. 0.99

01:57:37.000 It makes me kind of like sick to my stomach thinking about it.

01:57:41.000 Like, stop doing that to yourself.

01:57:43.000 You know, Danica Patrick actually just had to have her breast implants removed. 1.00

01:57:48.000 Were they infected or one of those things?

01:57:50.000 No, she was having bad reactions to having them in her body.

01:57:54.000 And she didn't realize how much trouble it was causing until she got her removed. 1.00

01:57:59.000 And she documented all this stuff on her Instagram page.

01:58:02.000 And you could see it in her face.

01:58:04.000 She said she just feels it everywhere.

01:58:06.000 There's like Kat Zingano, UFC fighter. 0.81

01:58:08.000 She had the same thing.

01:58:10.000 She was just feeling terrible with them in her body.

01:58:12.000 Well, it's like ongoing anaphylactic shock.

01:58:16.000 Well, your body's just rejecting it.

01:58:17.000 Your body's like, why is this here?

01:58:19.000 Why is this here?

01:58:20.000 Why is this here?

01:58:20.000 You ever see things calcify?

01:58:24.000 Something gets stuck in your body can calcify.

01:58:26.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:58:27.000 Sometimes the outside of their boobs is hard with scar tissue.

01:58:33.000 Your body does not want that in there.

01:58:34.000 No.

01:58:35.000 You ever watch the show Botched?

01:58:37.000 Yes.

01:58:38.000 I can take a couple minutes of that.

01:58:41.000 Jesus.

01:58:41.000 One person just had fluid coming out of their head.

01:58:44.000 Just like, ugh, Christ. 0.96

01:58:48.000 The mental illness is what freaks me out. 0.59

01:58:51.000 That leads them to thinking it's good.

01:58:52.000 Yeah, the thinking that that looks good. 1.00

01:58:54.000 Like when they want to get their lips done crazy, and then they want to get them fixed, and the doctor's trying to fix it, and they're like, shit. 0.92

01:58:59.000 The only way you can get plastic surgery that's any good is to not have friends that have also done it. 0.95

01:59:07.000 So that people are giving you an honest appraisal. 0.99

01:59:10.000 Some people get it done and you're like, this shit looks good. 0.99

01:59:13.000 Well, what's her name? 0.99

01:59:15.000 One of the Kardashians, the young one.

01:59:17.000 Kylie.

01:59:18.000 Jenner.

01:59:18.000 Kylie Jenner, right?

01:59:19.000 She had a lot done.

01:59:21.000 But she looks very good.

01:59:22.000 Oh, the young, young one?

01:59:23.000 Isn't that Kylie?

01:59:24.000 The one...

01:59:26.000 Yeah, Kylie.

01:59:27.000 She's the young one.

01:59:28.000 There's crazy before and after.

01:59:30.000 She looks like a different person.

01:59:34.000 Different person.

01:59:35.000 And then they have kids and you're just like, when can we start operating on you?

01:59:39.000 Because you remind me of who I used to look like.

01:59:41.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:59:42.000 Basically.

01:59:43.000 What else would you think when you see your baby and you're like, oh, we can get this fixed?

01:59:47.000 Oh my God.

01:59:48.000 She probably said when she was 14 or 15. The thing is, your fucking head's still growing. 1.00

01:59:55.000 You don't even know what's going to be its final form, and you're going to go in there and shave things down. 1.00

02:00:02.000 With a bone saw, because you want a more contoured chin. 1.00

02:00:07.000 What the fuck are you saying? 0.99

02:00:09.000 And then other people go, oh my god, she looks so much better. 1.00

02:00:12.000 I want to do that too.

02:00:14.000 Ooh, that's crazy. 0.99

02:00:15.000 I knew a dude, it changed his fucking life. 0.99

02:00:18.000 My friend Max, he had a extended lower jaw his whole life, like sling blade. 0.98

02:00:25.000 And then when he was 21, it was a serious operation.

02:00:29.000 They saw your bone of your lower jaw and take a chunk out of it and then put it back in place and screw it in and screw his mouth. 0.99

02:00:37.000 He couldn't talk, couldn't fucking eat. 0.99

02:00:40.000 But then he became handsome. 0.99

02:00:42.000 Then he became a handsome guy.

02:00:44.000 So when he was 21, all of a sudden he's like...

02:00:46.000 And we like handsome.

02:00:47.000 He's like a good-looking guy.

02:00:48.000 The world rewards handsome.

02:00:50.000 He's got a great face.

02:00:51.000 But it's like he was a freak before that, and then he became this handsome guy.

02:00:56.000 It's like a really interesting turnaround.

02:00:59.000 But you know, that thing of tall guys make a million dollars more over a lifetime?

02:01:04.000 Handsome guys make...

02:01:05.000 It's impossible to...

02:01:06.000 They don't have a number on it because it's like handsome is relative.

02:01:10.000 But height is...

02:01:11.000 Heights giant.

02:01:13.000 There's a lot of factors in what makes people attracted to people, what makes men attracted to women, what makes women attracted to men.

02:01:20.000 And for whatever reason, there's some people that like to deny those things or to distort those things to make people feel better.

02:01:28.000 It's very odd.

02:01:29.000 It's so unnecessary.

02:01:31.000 It's like just acknowledge what it's like.

02:01:33.000 I'm just waiting for fat bodybuilding because that's one of the things that Helen Prochrose and James Lindsay and Peter Boghossian, when they had those fake grievance studies, one of the things they wrote about, they had fake papers that got critically acclaimed and they got reviewed and even won awards for fake papers.

02:01:50.000 But one of them was about fat bodybuilding.

02:01:53.000 They were talking about bodybuilding being more inclusive to fat people.

02:01:59.000 They wrote this nonsense fake paper that got reviewed.

02:02:03.000 Yeah. 0.90

02:02:04.000 And it was about fat.

02:02:05.000 But I'm not thinking that's too far off, man.

02:02:08.000 Have you seen this whole Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue thing where it's like people are talking about these people's bodies and this is terrible.

02:02:17.000 It's like...

02:02:18.000 Well, it's a different thing.

02:02:19.000 This is what it is.

02:02:20.000 It's a different thing.

02:02:21.000 Because what it used to be, the swimsuit issue used to be, look at these insane bodies of these incredible athletes and these gorgeous models that are like, you know, the rarest of rare human beings.

02:02:32.000 It's unusual to look at.

02:02:33.000 Look at them. 0.99

02:02:34.000 Crazy.

02:02:34.000 And you would see, like, Kate Upton and, you know, Ronda Rousey was on the cover of one of them.

02:02:39.000 You would see...

02:02:40.000 No, that was a different one.

02:02:41.000 She was on the cover of the naked issue.

02:02:42.000 She was on the body issue, yeah. 0.84

02:02:43.000 But you're seeing these amazing bodies.

02:02:47.000 And then in this they're saying, well, these women have value too.

02:02:50.000 Well, the thing is, it's like, well, are you talking about personalities?

02:02:55.000 Yeah, if you're talking about personalities, then what are you doing?

02:02:59.000 Because you're going, she weighs 300 pounds, but she's got good skin. 1.00

02:03:06.000 Do you know what I mean?

02:03:07.000 Like, you're still saying, you're still putting value on symmetry, or skin, or shape, or something that people can't control.

02:03:16.000 So it's just like a little less hypocritical, but it's still, either you're talking about like, she has a beautiful spirit, just put a paraplegic, put someone who is just, or someone who's a great writer, or a great comedian, or someone that's like a great,

02:03:31.000 has a great personality. 0.97

02:03:33.000 Well, I'd say do whatever the fuck you want to do, if that's what Sports Illustrated wants to do. 0.99

02:03:37.000 Nothing wrong with it. 0.99

02:03:38.000 There's nothing wrong with having those girls on it. 1.00

02:03:40.000 There's nothing wrong with any of it.

02:03:41.000 But it's a different thing.

02:03:43.000 This is a different thing than it used to be.

02:03:44.000 And that's what I'm saying about bodybuilding.

02:03:46.000 Like, if bodybuilding, if everybody looks like Burt Kreischer, and they're like, that's beautiful too.

02:03:50.000 Like, okay.

02:03:51.000 That's not what we're here for.

02:03:52.000 We're here for freaks.

02:03:54.000 The argument is that we're conditioned to certain shapes.

02:03:59.000 But that's not true.

02:04:00.000 It's like evolution-wise, and they go, what about Botticelli?

02:04:03.000 And the women were bigger and plumper back then. 0.99

02:04:05.000 Nobody had any food.

02:04:05.000 Yeah, it was a sign of no one had food, and the people who had food were high status.

02:04:10.000 And once we learned about nutrition, and once we learned about health and arteries...

02:04:19.000 I don't think the beauty standard changed.

02:04:21.000 I would argue good skin would work at any period in the last 14,000 years.

02:04:27.000 Here's an undeniable truth that we accept wholeheartedly with men.

02:04:33.000 When you are overweight, you have more of a chance of having a heart attack, more of a chance of all sorts of other cardiovascular issues, all kinds of increased inflammatory markers that lead to a bunch of different diabetes.

02:04:48.000 It's just not good to be overweight.

02:04:50.000 Just accept it.

02:04:51.000 Yes.

02:04:52.000 But we never think that way when it comes to the public declaration that all bodies are beautiful.

02:04:58.000 Right.

02:04:58.000 All bodies are beautiful means I ignore all the health consequences of the choices you've made to make you feel better.

02:05:05.000 Right.

02:05:06.000 So it's either you are the rarest of rare that had literally no say in what you ate and someone fed you and turned you into that thing and you really wish you didn't have to eat all that food.

02:05:17.000 I think some people have like hormonal or glandular...

02:05:20.000 You don't have to think it.

02:05:21.000 They do.

02:05:22.000 There's no doubt about it.

02:05:23.000 And they can eat 1,500 calories and they'll still be...

02:05:27.000 That's generally not true.

02:05:29.000 Okay.

02:05:29.000 Yeah.

02:05:30.000 They have slower metabolisms, but calories in, calories out is pretty strict science.

02:05:35.000 Okay.

02:05:37.000 People do have faster metabolism.

02:05:39.000 They burn off more.

02:05:41.000 But if you're only taking in 1,500 calories, you keep gaining weight.

02:05:44.000 That doesn't make any sense.

02:05:45.000 It's like, where's the mass coming from?

02:05:46.000 How's it being fed?

02:05:49.000 You have to overeat to get morbidly obese.

02:05:52.000 Like when you're looking at people- Oh yeah, morbidly obese, but I'm just talking about like plump or whatever, yeah.

02:05:58.000 A lot of these, if that was a man, you'd say morbidly obese in some of them.

02:06:01.000 Well, it's like, would they say a heroin addict is beautiful?

02:06:04.000 I guess they did during the heroin chic, but like, I think it was more a look.

02:06:09.000 But like, would Sports Illustrated put a heroin addict woman on the cover?

02:06:15.000 They would say that she has a problem.

02:06:17.000 But why doesn't, what's the, aren't they, the portfolio of health issues, I'm sure, are relatively similar.

02:06:26.000 Very similar.

02:06:26.000 Yeah, it's one of the worst things you can do for your overall metabolic health is make your body carry around an extra 150 pounds.

02:06:34.000 It's terrible for you.

02:06:35.000 Yeah.

02:06:36.000 It's just not good for you.

02:06:37.000 And so you can say you like the way you look this way, and I say, good on you.

02:06:41.000 Have fun.

02:06:42.000 But if you try to say that it's healthy, you're really talking crazy.

02:06:45.000 And the reason why I have to say anything about it is because there's probably someone out there that might believe you. 0.98

02:06:51.000 There's probably someone out there that's listening to that and saying, oh, it is healthy to be 150 pounds overweight, and they don't give a fuck about the fact that they're overweight.

02:06:58.000 And maybe, maybe, if they didn't hear you say that, they would take into consideration the fact that these people that aren't this heavy seem to be happier. 0.83

02:07:06.000 They seem to have more energy.

02:07:07.000 They seem to be able to get more done.

02:07:09.000 They're not in pain all the time.

02:07:10.000 Maybe I could get there.

02:07:11.000 And then you find out about people who did get there online.

02:07:14.000 And they give their success stories and talk about how they used to deny it.

02:07:18.000 They used to be in denial.

02:07:19.000 They used to lie to themselves and say that I feel great.

02:07:21.000 I don't need it. 0.99

02:07:21.000 I don't give a fuck what I look like. 0.99

02:07:22.000 But then slowly but surely they came to the realization that it's a terrible life choice. 0.99

02:07:26.000 And then they did the right thing, they ate well, they dieted, they exercised, and they slowly but surely got to a healthy weight and they feel infinitely better.

02:07:35.000 That's the message I want to hear.

02:07:36.000 I don't want to hear, you know, it's healthy to be 150 pounds overweight.

02:07:41.000 It's just not.

02:07:41.000 If you choose to be 150 pounds overweight, good luck to you.

02:07:45.000 I hope you don't encounter any health consequences.

02:07:50.000 I hope you live a long, healthy life.

02:07:52.000 But the reality of what we know about the human body is if you continue to be grossly overweight for long periods of time, there's a high likelihood that something's going to go wrong.

02:08:02.000 That's just a fact.

02:08:03.000 This doesn't mean we don't love you. 1.00

02:08:05.000 It doesn't mean you're a piece of shit. 1.00

02:08:09.000 It's like you're making bad decisions somewhere. 1.00

02:08:13.000 And they're having repercussions for you individually, and they're also having repercussions in the healthcare system overall.

02:08:22.000 For sure.

02:08:23.000 Because if 40, what's the stat, 40 or 50% of people are obese now?

02:08:28.000 I think it's, we did it recently.

02:08:30.000 What was it, Jamie?

02:08:32.000 It was in the 40s, right?

02:08:34.000 Somewhere in the 40s, I think.

02:08:36.000 Yeah, it's like holding someone to a standard.

02:08:38.000 I think the rest of the people are lying.

02:08:39.000 I think it's higher than 40. I really do.

02:08:41.000 Yeah, if you go to the airport, it seems like more than 40. If you go to Disneyland, you're going to be like, oh, we've got a real problem.

02:08:51.000 Go to Knott's Berry Farm.

02:08:52.000 Do you know what's interesting about Disneyland?

02:08:54.000 You don't have to be fat or injured to take one of them scooters.

02:08:57.000 You sure don't.

02:08:58.000 You can just get a scooter.

02:09:00.000 Yeah, but that's weird.

02:09:02.000 That's a loophole.

02:09:04.000 Like, if everybody knew that all you have to do is just bring a fucking motor scooter and get around Disneyland, like everybody knew, and it's just an availability issue, and what if they ramped up the number of scooters? 0.89

02:09:15.000 What if Disneyland becomes fucking Scooterville and no one's walking around? 0.94

02:09:18.000 You don't even get any exercise. 0.98

02:09:19.000 Do you think people are abusing it?

02:09:21.000 I think so.

02:09:21.000 I saw a girl I thought was abusing it.

02:09:23.000 I saw her, I was like, bitch. 1.00

02:09:24.000 Well, it's the comfort. 1.00

02:09:25.000 You should be walking.

02:09:26.000 Comfort cart.

02:09:27.000 I know, but maybe she's injured.

02:09:29.000 Maybe I'm wrong.

02:09:30.000 Right.

02:09:30.000 Maybe I'm wrong.

02:09:31.000 Yeah.

02:09:31.000 But I saw a guy jump right off of one, and then I asked them.

02:09:34.000 I said, Ed, when you have...

02:09:36.000 Because when our kids were young, we'd get a stroller.

02:09:39.000 You could rent a stroller there.

02:09:40.000 And so, you know, they'd get tired.

02:09:43.000 They're four years old, walking around Disney World or Disneyland.

02:09:46.000 But when you go up there, I go, what do you have to have wrong with you to use the motorized one?

02:09:51.000 Like nothing.

02:09:54.000 Tja.

02:09:54.000 You can just get around a scooter!

02:09:56.000 You could get around.

02:09:57.000 I mean, you could get a bird scooter, basically.

02:10:00.000 Sort of.

02:10:01.000 I mean, you know what I mean?

02:10:02.000 But everybody else is walking.

02:10:03.000 Yeah.

02:10:03.000 I guess with some people, they can't really walk that much.

02:10:06.000 Some people, it makes sense.

02:10:07.000 Old people, it makes sense. 1.00

02:10:12.000 It's like cultural values where it's like health versus discipline, right?

02:10:18.000 Or self-esteem versus discipline.

02:10:20.000 Those are the two poles to me. 0.94

02:10:22.000 Those are the two...

02:10:23.000 What you just said versus like, yeah, but they're nice and we don't want to shame people.

02:10:28.000 And the truth about shame in my experience is it's a catalyst.

02:10:33.000 For movement.

02:10:34.000 Yeah.

02:10:35.000 It's a catalyst for change.

02:10:36.000 Yeah.

02:10:37.000 It's a catalyst for improvement a lot of the time.

02:10:40.000 Did I overly beat myself up and that probably led to depression? 1.00

02:10:46.000 Yeah, but I also got good at shit. 0.99

02:10:51.000 It's like one of those things like, I see the point of not shaming people, but also... 0.99

02:10:59.000 The shame itself can be beneficial. 1.00

02:11:01.000 The point in not shaming people is don't be a cunt. 1.00

02:11:05.000 And the thing is, you're going to have people, there's going to be plenty of people out there that don't get the hint, they don't get that memo, and they just act like cunts. 0.99

02:11:12.000 Don't contribute to that.

02:11:14.000 But don't think that things that make you feel bad don't have some real benefit to them.

02:11:19.000 Because they really do.

02:11:20.000 There's things that make you feel bad that if you could just figure it out, you're going to be better because of this.

02:11:25.000 Yeah, it would be like not doing interventions on drug addicts because we don't want to shame them.

02:11:29.000 It's like, well, what do you call it?

02:11:31.000 It's like, hold them to a standard.

02:11:34.000 People say it's, I'm worried about you're going to die.

02:11:37.000 That's kind of like the theme of most interventions.

02:11:40.000 It's also, people waste their lives.

02:11:43.000 They get caught in these patterns.

02:11:45.000 And you need something sometimes to step in that gives you a little break from that pattern that lets you sort of reset and reassess.

02:11:53.000 And there's a lot of people that do that and then they jump right back on the horse.

02:11:56.000 But a lot of people don't.

02:11:59.000 It's a good number.

02:12:00.000 It's a good number of people that get sober.

02:12:02.000 I've known many in my life.

02:12:04.000 And some of them with zero programs.

02:12:05.000 My friend Dave Dolan, he quit drinking cold turkey when he crashed his car and abandoned it at the scene and then got in trouble and got his driver's license taken away. 0.98

02:12:16.000 He was like, fuck this, I'm quitting. 0.99

02:12:18.000 They shamed him? 1.00

02:12:19.000 The police shamed him?

02:12:20.000 Well, he was ashamed personally.

02:12:21.000 I don't think the police even did it.

02:12:23.000 They held him to a standard.

02:12:24.000 Yeah.

02:12:25.000 And is that shaming?

02:12:27.000 If you feel shamed, does that mean someone shamed you?

02:12:30.000 It's like bombing.

02:12:32.000 Bombing can be a tonic.

02:12:36.000 Where you're like, oh, because there are nights where you're crushing and you're like, am I Richard Pryor?

02:12:41.000 Wait a minute.

02:12:43.000 Seems like I might be Richard Pryor. 1.00

02:12:45.000 And then you fucking bomb the next night. 1.00

02:12:47.000 You're like, okay. 0.99

02:12:49.000 Back to the drawing board or that, you know, I will stop doing that tag.

02:12:56.000 I will stop doing that order.

02:12:57.000 I will stop doing whatever I did.

02:13:00.000 Did the audience shame me?

02:13:02.000 I don't know.

02:13:03.000 They had a natural reaction.

02:13:05.000 The problem is it's a verb.

02:13:07.000 It's a state.

02:13:08.000 It's not like them shaming you.

02:13:10.000 It's like they did something.

02:13:11.000 No, they didn't like what you were doing, and they had criticism.

02:13:14.000 Right.

02:13:15.000 It's normal. 0.89

02:13:16.000 And also, it's like for comics, there's the moment after you fucking film when you have sheer terror because you realize, I don't really have an act anymore. 0.80

02:13:24.000 Sure. 0.97

02:13:24.000 Oh my god, that's the scariest fucking moment of comedy. 0.97

02:13:27.000 I think I may have, because I've waited so long, I have the hour I've been doing and I have a new half. 1.00

02:13:32.000 And by the time I film it, Joey, I can, you know, if I don't have 45, I'm an idiot. 0.64

02:13:39.000 I'm counting up premises right now. 0.96

02:13:41.000 I'm counting up premises.

02:13:42.000 I'm going to cut some extra premises.

02:13:44.000 I gotta wait till I give birth to this comedy baby and then I gotta get some mushrooms in my system. 0.80

02:13:49.000 I need like a good one.

02:13:52.000 Like mushrooms and like two grams in the notebook or five grams in the notebook?

02:13:57.000 Five grams in the tank with a phone on that you can say hey Siri and give voice notes to.

02:14:03.000 Interesting.

02:14:04.000 Have you done it?

02:14:05.000 Yeah.

02:14:05.000 You gotta do the Hey Siri thing.

02:14:07.000 I tried for a while to have like a tape recorder running, like one of the little digital recorders, and I had it velcroed in there, but everything gets fucked up from the moisture and the salt in the air. 0.90

02:14:19.000 It fucks up the electronics. 0.76

02:14:20.000 And then I also tried the I'll remember this method, which is the worst.

02:14:24.000 No you won't.

02:14:26.000 Hi, I've used the I'll remember this method and know you won't.

02:14:30.000 You will, but not, you might, a lot of times you can't.

02:14:34.000 Yeah.

02:14:35.000 I text my other phone ideas sometimes.

02:14:40.000 I have a notebook.

02:14:40.000 I mean, I have the notes app.

02:14:43.000 Yeah, I have the notes app too.

02:14:45.000 You could say that, hey Siri, make a note, and it'll do that.

02:14:48.000 You could do that.

02:14:49.000 I've done that in the car before.

02:14:50.000 It's great.

02:14:50.000 If you're driving, then all of a sudden you have this idea.

02:14:52.000 You don't even have to touch your phone.

02:14:53.000 Just say, hey Siri, and start talking.

02:14:55.000 Yeah.

02:14:56.000 And it'll leave a pretty fucking good representation of what you said in terms of like the way that- Yeah, the captions on- Pretty close. 0.99

02:15:04.000 On Instagram are like, you're fucking, you're pretty good at this. 0.99

02:15:07.000 Pretty good. 1.00

02:15:08.000 Just fucking talking into it. 0.99

02:15:10.000 It's pretty amazing. 0.99

02:15:12.000 Pretty amazing what they could do now with that.

02:15:14.000 They have it now where you can listen to someone talk in another language and they'll translate it for you.

02:15:18.000 I know.

02:15:18.000 There was one I saw the other day where it's glasses.

02:15:21.000 Or it's an earpiece or something where it'll come in.

02:15:25.000 It's Google's.

02:15:26.000 It's for the Pixel phone.

02:15:29.000 I think that's the only thing it works on.

02:15:31.000 Is that the only thing it works on?

02:15:32.000 Does it work on other devices?

02:15:35.000 It's just a Google Buds, right?

02:15:39.000 Okay, but it has nothing to do with the actual headphones themselves?

02:15:43.000 So the app would work on an iPhone as well?

02:15:45.000 Oh, really?

02:15:47.000 I'm pretty sure of that.

02:15:48.000 Oh, I thought that was a feature exclusive to the Pixel phone, which is one of the things that was a selling point of it.

02:15:54.000 Yeah.

02:15:55.000 We could test it right now.

02:15:56.000 It's like a couple weeks ago.

02:15:57.000 Yeah.

02:15:57.000 You used to have like a deal for an Android company, right?

02:16:00.000 Didn't you?

02:16:01.000 I did the voiceover for Samsung.

02:16:02.000 For a long...

02:16:03.000 That's like sweet cake, son.

02:16:05.000 A couple years.

02:16:05.000 You're telling me, Joe.

02:16:06.000 Want any coffee?

02:16:06.000 No, thanks.

02:16:07.000 That was a sweet gig.

02:16:08.000 That was a great gig.

02:16:09.000 Oh my goodness.

02:16:10.000 Really, really nice gig.

02:16:11.000 Raking in that cheddar.

02:16:12.000 But did you have to use an Android phone?

02:16:14.000 Because you had an Android phone for a while during that time.

02:16:16.000 Yeah, I did.

02:16:17.000 And then I secretly...

02:16:18.000 Why did you shake that?

02:16:19.000 It's going to explode.

02:16:20.000 All right.

02:16:20.000 I've never had it before.

02:16:22.000 Now I'm going to punish it.

02:16:24.000 I'm going to shame it. 0.98

02:16:24.000 I'm just kidding. 0.98

02:16:25.000 I don't think it's carbonated.

02:16:27.000 You should check, but I don't think it's carbonated.

02:16:28.000 I'm just joking.

02:16:30.000 If it was a kill cliff, it would blow the roof off. 0.93

02:16:33.000 I want to talk about, because I'm your depression correspondent...

02:16:37.000 Oh, thank you.

02:16:38.000 I've needed one for a while.

02:16:40.000 I think I've been it.

02:16:41.000 Because, by the way, most people...

02:16:43.000 The things I've talked about, the electromagnetic stimulation, that's a big one.

02:16:55.000 Electrocranial EC... Whatever.

02:17:00.000 Electrocranial...

02:17:01.000 Why am I forgetting?

02:17:02.000 Let's give everybody the rundown that hasn't heard you on here before.

02:17:04.000 Here's what I've done.

02:17:05.000 I did...

02:17:09.000 Zoloft for a long time, right?

02:17:12.000 15 years of Zoloft.

02:17:15.000 15 years of Zoloft and a little bit of Welbutrin.

02:17:21.000 And then I tried ketamine.

02:17:26.000 Did a week of ketamine and I just didn't like it.

02:17:29.000 No, but you just tell people what the history of depression is.

02:17:33.000 What is your history?

02:17:34.000 Oh, okay.

02:17:34.000 I always felt...

02:17:36.000 We used to just call it a New York attitude.

02:17:39.000 And then in the 90s, we called it a New York...

02:17:41.000 And then I realized I don't experience joy.

02:17:44.000 I just don't really experience joy very much.

02:17:47.000 And there's a thing called dysthymia.

02:17:49.000 So I went to a therapist.

02:17:50.000 They diagnosed me with dysthymia in 1998 or 1999 and started taking Zoloft and was like I liked it.

02:18:02.000 I remember saying to Dave like I don't want to dance but I understand why people dance.

02:18:07.000 The first time I'd ever understood.

02:18:09.000 I was like, I understand it.

02:18:10.000 I don't want to do it, but like, yeah, I get it.

02:18:13.000 I can see what's relevant about it.

02:18:15.000 That's hilarious.

02:18:16.000 And, uh, and...

02:18:19.000 So was on Zola for a long time and kind of had no side effects from it.

02:18:24.000 Like, sexually I could actually last longer, so I was like, great.

02:18:27.000 Can I ask you something about this never having joy? 0.97

02:18:30.000 But what about when you kill?

02:18:31.000 Like, what about stand-up?

02:18:33.000 That was adrenaline.

02:18:35.000 Really?

02:18:35.000 Yeah.

02:18:36.000 Just adrenaline.

02:18:39.000 Like, when Rock gets offstage, his pupils are like, he looks like a zombie.

02:18:45.000 Like, his pupils are so dilated from all the oxytocin.

02:18:49.000 Like, more than anyone I've seen get offstage.

02:18:52.000 We all have, like, a glow when you kill and you go, like, well, they were nice. 0.99

02:18:57.000 But he gets, like, really fucking dilated. 0.97

02:19:00.000 So I would just get like, oh, good. 0.97

02:19:03.000 So you would just get like a relief?

02:19:05.000 Yeah, I would just get like probably ego, but not elation.

02:19:10.000 But not like, ooh, that was fun.

02:19:11.000 Yeah, not elation.

02:19:12.000 Is there a thing you do that gives you like a video game or any kind of activity that gives you, ooh, that was fun?

02:19:21.000 I would go historically.

02:19:25.000 Grand Theft Auto.

02:19:28.000 I'm so serious.

02:19:29.000 Really?

02:19:30.000 Grand Theft Auto, especially the one in Miami where you said Vice City, I think, that would really hit me.

02:19:35.000 How long before they do that for the Oculus and give you like a fake car to sit in?

02:19:39.000 Please.

02:19:40.000 You know how wild that would be?

02:19:41.000 I mean...

02:19:42.000 My friend Peter, he's like a serious car driver.

02:19:46.000 He has an actual race car.

02:19:47.000 Yeah.

02:19:48.000 And he has a F1 simulator in his house.

02:19:51.000 So he has like a steering wheel and the screens wrap around.

02:19:54.000 Do you watch the show on Netflix, by the way?

02:19:55.000 No.

02:19:56.000 Everybody keeps telling me I have to.

02:19:57.000 I know.

02:19:57.000 I'm just going to be the third one.

02:19:58.000 If you want to start with an episode, it's called Man on Fire, Episode 3. I start with Episode 1, bro.

02:20:03.000 Okay.

02:20:03.000 I'm not cheating.

02:20:04.000 I mean, you're not going to get skimped.

02:20:06.000 I'm just saying, like, one of the best...

02:20:09.000 Camera coverage and narrative and a near-perfect television show.

02:20:15.000 I can't wait, because everybody says it's awesome.

02:20:17.000 Yeah.

02:20:17.000 And you know, they have a Formula One track here, and so last year we went to Circuit of the Americas to watch Formula One races.

02:20:24.000 Oh right, they do a race now here, right? 1.00

02:20:25.000 Dude, it's wild watching those things.

02:20:27.000 Yeah.

02:20:28.000 They're very fast.

02:20:29.000 They're so fast.

02:20:30.000 Yeah.

02:20:31.000 And the amount of traction that they have, the way they can cut corners, it's insane. 0.99

02:20:36.000 And so Peter has this thing in his house, and it's got a shifter and everything, and he said, this is like a rudimentary version of there's one that's worth $1.5 million, and you sit in a fucking car.

02:20:47.000 You sit in a car, and there's a LCD screen that wraps entirely around it, and the thing moves like the way the car does.

02:20:55.000 So as you're going, it banks.

02:20:57.000 The car like actually has some give to.

02:20:59.000 I feel like every team has one at this point.

02:21:01.000 They must.

02:21:01.000 Yeah.

02:21:02.000 Because otherwise you're just, you're either doing that and you're getting like really close skill development or you're risking your fucking life like whipping around the track every day. 0.95

02:21:14.000 Yeah. 0.94

02:21:14.000 Which I think you probably have to do too. 0.94

02:21:15.000 It's also not easy and it's not good for the car.

02:21:17.000 Like the cars can't really run that long.

02:21:19.000 I wonder if they do train on it or if it's just a supplementary thing.

02:21:23.000 Because I would imagine there's no substitute for actually making the decision to hit the corner at the right time.

02:21:29.000 There's no substitute for getting the timing of the lines.

02:21:34.000 I know they all do the simulators because they show it.

02:21:35.000 Whether it's the $1.5 million or the 100 grand one.

02:21:40.000 I wonder how much they supplement with that.

02:21:42.000 You know, it doesn't make sense, though, that if you did both the racing, like, you know, and do certain amount of actual track racing, certain amount of track running, you know, and practicing, and then a certain amount of simulation, it would definitely up your numbers.

02:21:55.000 Like, it's all about getting the numbers in, right?

02:21:58.000 And getting the reactions right.

02:22:01.000 Especially if you've never been to a track before, like if they can give you a simulation and you can download, you know, a simulation of that track and you do all the turns in the right order.

02:22:12.000 That's what they do, yeah.

02:22:13.000 That's amazing.

02:22:14.000 That's a great thing.

02:22:15.000 They have like the tracks and then they, yeah, they have to know.

02:22:18.000 It's like a golf course where they have to know the exact...

02:22:22.000 Yeah, but you don't have any time to make fuck-ups, like unlike golf.

02:22:26.000 Yeah.

02:22:27.000 Golf, you have a lot of time.

02:22:28.000 You're... 0.98

02:22:29.000 No, it's so fucking dangerous. 0.99

02:22:32.000 It's so dangerous. 0.94

02:22:32.000 And what they're doing now with cars, just regular production cars, you're getting regular production cars that have near supercar capabilities. 0.94

02:22:40.000 Well, I was doing a joke about it when you were saying, well, what gives me joy?

02:22:42.000 When I drove a Tesla and hit the gas, I laughed out loud.

02:22:46.000 I literally laughed, and I was like, I have to get one, because nothing makes me laugh out loud.

02:22:52.000 I laughed out loud.

02:22:54.000 Like, goddammit, this is funny. 1.00

02:22:56.000 And I don't even care about speed or cars, like shit like that. 0.99

02:22:59.000 The thing about it is, though, it's actually safe. 0.78

02:23:02.000 Because if you wanted to merge into traffic, if something went wrong and you had to get away from something really quick, you could get away from stuff quick.

02:23:08.000 I've used it, yeah. 0.97

02:23:09.000 Well, that's why it helps me drive like an asshole, because I can cut people off and then be like, I won't play that. 1.00

02:23:13.000 I'll be out of your hair in a second. 1.00

02:23:14.000 It's silent too.

02:23:15.000 Yeah.

02:23:15.000 So you're cutting, you're taking off.

02:23:18.000 It's victimless.

02:23:18.000 Did it even happen, sir?

02:23:20.000 If you do that in a Corvette, you sound like a douchebag. 0.99

02:23:23.000 Yeah. 0.87

02:23:23.000 You do that in a Tesla, it's like, what happened there? 0.87

02:23:25.000 How did he get over there?

02:23:26.000 The pleasure was all mine.

02:23:28.000 He doesn't have to slam.

02:23:30.000 What do you drive the most?

02:23:33.000 I drive my Tesla a lot.

02:23:35.000 Yeah.

02:23:35.000 But I also have a Dodge Ram that I drive a lot too because I'm in Texas.

02:23:42.000 You've got to.

02:23:43.000 I had to. 1.00

02:23:43.000 Be a sucker not to. 1.00

02:23:44.000 But it has a thousand horsepower. 1.00

02:23:46.000 Is that the truck or that's the...

02:23:48.000 It's a truck.

02:23:48.000 It's a TRX. Got it.

02:23:50.000 A Hennessy TRX. Great.

02:23:53.000 So I drive two stupid things. 1.00

02:23:55.000 I also die. 1.00

02:23:57.000 Alright, so back to depression.

02:23:59.000 So tell me, you've this history of just always having like this, no joy...

02:24:04.000 It felt like a low grade, like sort of a lead blanket.

02:24:08.000 Huh.

02:24:10.000 And I think it read on me, you know what I mean?

02:24:12.000 Like it's kind of a hmm, like a thud or a hum.

02:24:15.000 You always did seem like a little surprised if people were nice to you, if that makes any sense.

02:24:21.000 Yeah.

02:24:21.000 I had low expectations for people's behavior.

02:24:26.000 Well that was my, I know that's a weird thing to say, but that was my honest take of you from like when I first met you.

02:24:33.000 Yeah.

02:24:34.000 Like I was always like, hey man, what's up?

02:24:35.000 And you're like, oh, hey, hi.

02:24:38.000 Well, I always say that about you.

02:24:40.000 Like, you were nice to me before there was any reason to be.

02:24:44.000 Other than just being a decent human being.

02:24:47.000 Like, from 1992, whatever, November 92, or whenever I met you the first time, till today.

02:24:56.000 Well, that's nice to hear.

02:24:57.000 Yeah.

02:24:58.000 I try to be nice.

02:24:58.000 Yeah.

02:24:59.000 So it's like something I work hard on.

02:25:00.000 Yeah.

02:25:01.000 It's really important. 1.00

02:25:02.000 And it's hard for you because you're such a piece of shit. 1.00

02:25:06.000 I think anybody could be a piece of shit. 1.00

02:25:07.000 No, of course they could. 1.00

02:25:08.000 Given the wrong circumstances, but I've always tried to be nice.

02:25:11.000 No, and I'm living proof.

02:25:14.000 You were nice to me when I was 18, 19. Yeah, you were a door guy at Boston Comedy.

02:25:18.000 Sure.

02:25:19.000 That probably was like 91 or 92, man.

02:25:21.000 Yeah, 92 was when I started.

02:25:23.000 So that was when I knew you.

02:25:24.000 Yeah.

02:25:24.000 Because I lived there until 94. Yeah.

02:25:26.000 94 was when I made the trek out to Hollywood.

02:25:29.000 I remember when I did Fear Factor, and then I did the Chappelle Show, and I knew that you were running it with Dave.

02:25:35.000 I'm like, that's incredible.

02:25:36.000 Yeah.

02:25:37.000 Because I remember you from the Boston comedies.

02:25:39.000 I'm like, dude, how did you do this?

02:25:41.000 This is amazing. 0.98

02:25:42.000 Remember we filmed that thing in that freezing cold fucking warehouse? 0.98

02:25:45.000 And we had those burners. 0.99

02:25:46.000 You had to stand next to literally a fire. 0.99

02:25:48.000 You had like a propane burner and you're standing next to this fucking blowtorch to try to warm yourself up. 0.99

02:25:54.000 We couldn't figure it out. 0.99

02:25:55.000 And Dave never broke character.

02:25:57.000 Never broke character.

02:25:58.000 And my friend Eddie Bravo was with me.

02:26:01.000 And Eddie Bravo had just gotten back from Abu Dhabi, which is the World Jiu-Jitsu Championships, where he tapped out Hoyler Gracie.

02:26:07.000 And so Dave would walk by and go, Horse Gracie?

02:26:11.000 You tapped out Horse Gracie?

02:26:13.000 And Eddie would go, no, it's Hoyler!

02:26:15.000 Hoyler! 0.99

02:26:15.000 He goes, Hoyt's crazy! 0.99

02:26:17.000 And he was just, he wouldn't break character.

02:26:19.000 He was Tyrone Biggums.

02:26:19.000 Like, the entire day was hilarious.

02:26:22.000 He was hilarious.

02:26:24.000 Yeah, he was very...

02:26:25.000 This was before they broke his heart. 0.99

02:26:28.000 He was young and just having a great fucking time. 0.99

02:26:32.000 That sketch was in 04. That wasn't that long before. 0.97

02:26:36.000 Like, we were...

02:26:37.000 It was soon.

02:26:39.000 Well, you guys did it for two years, and it is, in my opinion, the funniest sketch comedy show that has ever been made. 0.59

02:26:45.000 I think pound for pound funny, nothing can fuck with it.

02:26:49.000 You have some of the best classic sketch comedies that I've ever seen in my life. 1.00

02:26:56.000 Like, the fucking, the guy who is the black white supremacist who is blind... 1.00

02:27:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:27:03.000 Yeah.

02:27:04.000 No, I know. 0.99

02:27:05.000 It's just one of these things where I'm like, man, that's a good fucking joke. 0.98

02:27:08.000 God, that bit was so good. 0.97

02:27:09.000 That bit was so good that when I saw it on TV, I had to put my hand on my face like this.

02:27:14.000 I remember writing jokes for it and being like, Wow, that's a very good show.

02:27:21.000 There's some bombs. 1.00

02:27:22.000 And then you're in it, too, and your fucking head explodes, which is hilarious. 1.00

02:27:24.000 Oh, yeah, that's right. 1.00

02:27:25.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:27:26.000 Yeah, no, there was just a lot of, like, and that's just the first episode. 0.99

02:27:29.000 Like, there was just every week, there was some good shit. 0.99

02:27:31.000 There was so many, man. 0.98

02:27:33.000 I mean, for something that came along that was only for two years, it wasn't that long, you know, in terms of the amount of time that was on the air.

02:27:41.000 And then, but it... 0.99

02:27:43.000 Fuck, it was... 1.00

02:27:44.000 The highs were so high that if that show kept going, I really believe that... 1.00

02:27:49.000 I mean, I think Dave and you could have kept doing that for years.

02:27:54.000 That I don't know about.

02:27:55.000 I think you could have kept doing it.

02:27:57.000 I think it's hard.

02:27:58.000 I know it's hard.

02:27:59.000 But you guys had a special thing, man.

02:28:02.000 Yeah, I agree.

02:28:02.000 You really did.

02:28:03.000 And Dave is especially good at that.

02:28:05.000 He's especially good at that.

02:28:06.000 Well, that's what it is.

02:28:07.000 Because I used to put...

02:28:08.000 Like, now I think...

02:28:11.000 I used to put Eddie as number one in sketches, and I'm like, I think Dave might have taken...

02:28:19.000 Like, I think Dave might have taken him.

02:28:21.000 It's close.

02:28:22.000 It's definitely close.

02:28:24.000 You know, the first one that I did with you guys was before you.

02:28:26.000 I did it with Bobcat Goldway.

02:28:28.000 Oh, no, no, I was there.

02:28:30.000 Sorry.

02:28:31.000 It was on the street.

02:28:32.000 Yeah, before I did it with you. 0.99

02:28:33.000 It was a fucking great... 0.97

02:28:34.000 I saw... 0.99

02:28:35.000 We got you, Dee Snider...

02:28:39.000 From Twisted Sister. 0.96

02:28:41.000 And Stephen King, on the same day, just walking around the city, and Stephen King asked the fucking, in retrospect, the coolest question. 0.99

02:28:51.000 It was ask a black dude, and Stephen King said, do black people want to go to black dentists and black mortuaries? 1.00

02:29:00.000 And it's one of these things of like, wow, you have a fucking good brain, dude. 1.00

02:29:04.000 Because he didn't think about it. 0.99

02:29:06.000 He was just like, yeah, I got a question.

02:29:12.000 Then we bumped into you and I just had the feeling that this could work out.

02:29:16.000 We're getting good breaks.

02:29:20.000 Randomly.

02:29:21.000 Opportunistic.

02:29:23.000 Opportunities that were like Fortuitous.

02:29:25.000 Yeah, for me, I was just walking down the street, and I see Dave with a fake mustache on.

02:29:32.000 And he had a box.

02:29:33.000 He had like a box that he was holding.

02:29:36.000 I go, what are you doing, man? 0.93

02:29:40.000 He goes, Joe, I'm giving out the best New York boobs. 1.00

02:29:44.000 Goddammit, that's so stupid. 1.00

02:29:46.000 You have great New York boobs. 1.00

02:29:47.000 Like, you can't even do that today. 0.98

02:29:49.000 No, absolutely not.

02:29:50.000 There's not a chance. 0.97

02:29:51.000 I mean, he pins a New York boobs medal on that lady. 1.00

02:29:54.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:29:55.000 Yeah.

02:29:56.000 Her dad, and that's her dad.

02:29:58.000 Yeah.

02:29:58.000 There's no way you could do that today.

02:30:00.000 He might get cancelled just because we're bringing this up.

02:30:03.000 Jamie, get it off the screen.

02:30:05.000 They might pull that from YouTube. 0.69

02:30:06.000 This could be a real issue now.

02:30:09.000 They'll put it on their list.

02:30:10.000 Isn't it amazing how much culture has changed?

02:30:13.000 Culture has changed in 20 years.

02:30:14.000 That was 20 years ago, essentially.

02:30:19.000 But even then, I was just stressed.

02:30:22.000 That, again, that felt good.

02:30:24.000 To have an accomplishment like that. 0.88

02:30:26.000 So once it started going, and you realize, holy shit, we got a really unbelievably good sketch. 0.94

02:30:32.000 It's just you start from a place of not a lot of worth, and then you do shit that's like, oh, that's unassailably worthwhile. 0.98

02:30:41.000 You know what I mean? 0.97

02:30:42.000 And then did you get a good feeling?

02:30:45.000 I got a good feeling and then a bad feeling when it ended, but I had a good feeling from doing it.

02:30:49.000 I really loved doing it, and it felt connected.

02:30:53.000 It felt in the flow, so to speak.

02:30:57.000 Have you guys ever had a conversation about doing it again?

02:31:01.000 Or doing another one?

02:31:03.000 Yeah, and we both were like...

02:31:07.000 It just didn't...

02:31:08.000 It's like there's something about it that's like a young person's 29. Interesting.

02:31:15.000 We're 29. So it's like you've got more anger.

02:31:18.000 You've got more energy.

02:31:24.000 You've got more like fight.

02:31:27.000 And then you get...

02:31:29.000 Not even money.

02:31:30.000 It's just you just get more like...

02:31:33.000 Yeah.

02:31:34.000 More edgy with the subject matter, too.

02:31:37.000 More?

02:31:37.000 More edgy with the subject matter.

02:31:39.000 You take more chances.

02:31:40.000 Yeah, it's just you just don't know.

02:31:43.000 You're just reckless.

02:31:44.000 Right.

02:31:46.000 Dave one time said that we're like thrill killers.

02:31:48.000 Yeah.

02:31:49.000 Where, you know, he'd be like, I'm going to shoot. 1.00

02:31:51.000 I'd be like, chop their fucking head off. 1.00

02:31:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:31:54.000 And you're like, I'm going to chop their fucking head off. 1.00

02:31:56.000 You know, it's like, you just get like, you know what we should do? 1.00

02:31:59.000 Yeah.

02:31:59.000 The R. Kelly one?

02:32:01.000 Yeah. 0.92

02:32:01.000 He's peeing on a girl. 0.92

02:32:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:32:03.000 Like fucking reckless. 0.99

02:32:06.000 Like, should we be doing this? 1.00

02:32:10.000 This is very reckless.

02:32:12.000 You know who's doing that now?

02:32:14.000 It's Shane Gillis.

02:32:15.000 Gillian Keves.

02:32:15.000 I loved his hour, yeah.

02:32:17.000 But you know, have you seen the Gillian Keves sketches?

02:32:19.000 I've seen a couple of them.

02:32:20.000 Have you ever seen Trump speed dialing, speed dating?

02:32:23.000 I don't think I have.

02:32:24.000 Here, play it.

02:32:24.000 Just put that on.

02:32:26.000 Well, you need to watch this. 0.99

02:32:27.000 First of all, his Trump impression is off the fucking charts. 0.99

02:32:30.000 Yeah, it's very good. 0.99

02:32:31.000 And they do these sketches.

02:32:32.000 Like, they had one of them was a dad went to OnlyFans to pay the bills.

02:32:38.000 That's funny. 1.00

02:32:39.000 Shoving a vibrator up his ass. 1.00

02:32:41.000 Like, here, play this. 1.00

02:32:42.000 Welcome to speed dating.

02:32:44.000 Each of you is going to meet for about three minutes.

02:32:46.000 Then you're going to hear this buzzer.

02:32:49.000 Okay?

02:32:49.000 And when that goes off, we're gonna move to the next table.

02:32:52.000 Ready to find some love?

02:32:58.000 Tana.

02:33:01.000 What are you doing here?

02:33:02.000 I was asked to speak at this hotel. 0.99

02:33:04.000 It turns out there's some type of pussy banquet going on. 1.00

02:33:07.000 Can I hold one second? 0.99

02:33:08.000 Just give me a second. 1.00

02:33:10.000 Fuck you, you fucking piece of shit! 1.00

02:33:12.000 Ugly, fat, orange, fuck! 1.00

02:33:16.000 Social media. 1.00

02:33:17.000 They had to take it away.

02:33:18.000 I was too good.

02:33:19.000 In fact, go ahead.

02:33:20.000 Put it back up.

02:33:21.000 Put it back up.

02:33:22.000 People say, I've got bad makeup. 0.97

02:33:24.000 Tana looks like someone painted her face like a clown. 0.94

02:33:26.000 That's what we're going to call her. 0.99

02:33:28.000 Tana it the clown. 0.98

02:33:30.000 She looks like him. 1.00

02:33:31.000 She looks like she should be in a sewer bothering children. 1.00

02:33:35.000 There's certain moves he does that are so goddamn good. 1.00

02:33:37.000 You are ugly. 1.00

02:33:39.000 Disgusting. 1.00

02:33:39.000 I'm disgusting. 1.00

02:33:40.000 I saw you walk in. 0.98

02:33:41.000 I said, who's this? 0.99

02:33:43.000 Is this a pig? 0.99

02:33:44.000 I didn't know they were letting pigs in. 1.00

02:33:46.000 You're a dictator. 1.00

02:33:47.000 Old Sage, what a loser. 1.00

02:33:49.000 What a loser she was. 1.00

02:33:51.000 Somebody needs to tell her that her pussy stinks. 1.00

02:33:53.000 When you walked in, I could practically smell you. 1.00

02:33:55.000 Your vagina stinks. 1.00

02:33:57.000 Smelt up the whole room. 1.00

02:33:58.000 No one here is gonna go on a date with you.

02:34:00.000 There'll be no problem there.

02:34:01.000 I'll get a date.

02:34:02.000 There's gonna be so many dates.

02:34:03.000 Whoa, this guy has so many dates.

02:34:06.000 I don't even need a date.

02:34:09.000 That's impressive.

02:34:10.000 There's Tinder. 1.00

02:34:11.000 You go beep-boop-pop and there's pussy. 1.00

02:34:16.000 This is pretty exciting. 1.00

02:34:18.000 I've never been on a date with a white guy before.

02:34:20.000 Hit the buzzer.

02:34:21.000 I mean, I'm just wondering what it would be like with something a little smaller.

02:34:24.000 Let me stop you there, Elaine.

02:34:25.000 I don't know who sat in this chair before me, but it stinks.

02:34:28.000 I told her!

02:34:31.000 Any interest? 1.00

02:34:32.000 You're gay. 1.00

02:34:33.000 Hey, blame the dairy industry. 1.00

02:34:35.000 I would never suck a guy's dick. 1.00

02:34:37.000 But if I did, it'd be one of the best sucks he's ever had. 1.00

02:34:40.000 A few years ago, women would have the flat butts. 1.00

02:34:42.000 Not you.

02:34:43.000 You've got a very nice one.

02:34:45.000 Thank you.

02:34:46.000 You know, I pulled very well with the blacks.

02:34:48.000 How am I pulling with you?

02:34:51.000 I saw you come in.

02:34:52.000 I said, that's the one.

02:34:53.000 The belle of the ball.

02:34:55.000 You're the prettiest one.

02:34:56.000 I'm gonna be completely honest with you here.

02:34:58.000 I'm not that interested in it. 0.99

02:34:59.000 You're the ugliest. 0.99

02:35:00.000 Do me a favor. 1.00

02:35:01.000 Could you take your gigantic perfect tits and leave? 1.00

02:35:04.000 I don't recall saying I would get a date here, but if I did say that, maybe I will. 1.00

02:35:09.000 Oh, my God.

02:35:11.000 Hello.

02:35:19.000 Oh my god.

02:35:20.000 Do you like my shirt?

02:35:21.000 I got it dyed a special at the tackle shop.

02:35:23.000 There's a two for one at the tackle.

02:35:25.000 At the tackle shop.

02:35:26.000 The bait and tackle.

02:35:27.000 I can get you one.

02:35:28.000 It's two for one.

02:35:29.000 Wow.

02:35:30.000 How are you, Mr. President?

02:35:32.000 Well...

02:35:32.000 I'm great.

02:35:33.000 Especially since you...

02:35:35.000 Since you exposed all the Jews that were putting 5G in my brain that wanted the meth. 1.00

02:35:45.000 That girl's great. 1.00

02:35:46.000 How are you at oral sex? 1.00

02:35:47.000 Philly is a funny Philly accent. 1.00

02:35:48.000 Pretty good, to be honest.

02:35:49.000 My teeth come out.

02:35:50.000 Siobhan, how would you like to go on a date with Donald Trump?

02:35:54.000 Yes!

02:35:55.000 Finally!

02:35:56.000 Oh my god, I won!

02:35:58.000 Did I win?

02:36:02.000 I got Ed.

02:36:05.000 Can you show clips on here?

02:36:07.000 I just did.

02:36:08.000 I don't know.

02:36:10.000 I mean, I'm only promoting them.

02:36:12.000 No, I was wondering. 0.99

02:36:13.000 I feel like last time I was here, we couldn't show certain shit. 0.95

02:36:17.000 Well, if it was on YouTube, I would say that wouldn't be smart, because they'd probably have the copyright to that, and rightly, they would pull it down, but we're just promoting them. 0.93

02:36:26.000 And it would be under the Spotify...

02:36:31.000 Oh, afterwards we'll talk.

02:36:32.000 Uh-oh.

02:36:33.000 We might have to hack that out.

02:36:34.000 Either way, if we edit it out, it's awesome.

02:36:36.000 Gillian Keeves, great sketches.

02:36:39.000 So, yeah.

02:36:41.000 But that's the same thing, though.

02:36:42.000 Young guys.

02:36:43.000 Yeah.

02:36:44.000 Reckless.

02:36:45.000 Yeah.

02:36:45.000 It's like you kind of got to be like...

02:36:48.000 And not know how hard it is, kind of like childbirth, where it's like, now we know how long shit takes. 0.93

02:36:54.000 It's also the internet didn't have the same level of criticism back then. 0.94

02:36:57.000 It just wasn't much.

02:37:00.000 Yeah, it wouldn't get dissected for...

02:37:01.000 Social media.

02:37:02.000 Yeah, for righteousness or doctrine.

02:37:06.000 Twitter came around in 2007-ish, right?

02:37:08.000 Somewhere around then?

02:37:09.000 Yeah.

02:37:11.000 So yeah, would it just be less fun?

02:37:13.000 So, depression.

02:37:14.000 Anyway, back to depression.

02:37:16.000 And I was slowly building and then doing stand-up Netflix special.

02:37:22.000 It felt good.

02:37:23.000 And then around that time I tried ketamine and just didn't like it.

02:37:29.000 It just didn't work on me.

02:37:30.000 I remember we were in the hallway of the store, right by the main room, and you're like, I thought I was going to go to a clinical setting, and again, maybe I'll feel it.

02:37:40.000 I mean, who knows? 0.99

02:37:40.000 He goes, I am fucking tripping balls. 0.99

02:37:44.000 That's what you said. 1.00

02:37:45.000 Yeah, just in a doctor's office.

02:37:48.000 Like, gone.

02:37:49.000 Like, it was on, like, the 11th floor in Westwood.

02:37:53.000 It wasn't, like, a spa.

02:37:55.000 It was like, here's your validation.

02:37:59.000 It was like a hospital, kind of.

02:38:03.000 So, when they give it to you, do they give you a description of what the effect is going to be like?

02:38:10.000 They kind of don't.

02:38:11.000 They just say, like, this is a good depression.

02:38:14.000 Now, having said that, it's worked for people.

02:38:17.000 It's worked for a lot of people I know.

02:38:18.000 I've heard good things.

02:38:20.000 Yeah.

02:38:20.000 So I think I'm actually in the minority in that I didn't like ketamine.

02:38:24.000 Because I was early talking about it on here, everyone thought I liked it, and I just didn't like it.

02:38:29.000 But what was the experience like?

02:38:31.000 So they don't tell you what it's going to do.

02:38:34.000 No.

02:38:34.000 They say it works on some people, but they don't say you're going to have a complete disassociation from this dimension.

02:38:38.000 Yeah, they say it's like slightly hallucinogenic, maybe.

02:38:41.000 I don't even know if they told me that much.

02:38:43.000 Really?

02:38:44.000 And I don't want to go on the record.

02:38:45.000 I may just not remember.

02:38:47.000 Now, are you restrained?

02:38:50.000 No, I was in a hospital bed.

02:38:53.000 So you're just laying in a bed, regular bed.

02:38:55.000 Like three quarters, sitting up, craftmatic.

02:38:59.000 Are there rails on the side?

02:39:01.000 I don't know.

02:39:02.000 I don't remember.

02:39:02.000 Probably not.

02:39:03.000 I couldn't move.

02:39:05.000 Once I took it, my hallucination was, generally speaking, I got into a small world kind of cart, and I went into a kind of neon...

02:39:18.000 Like Winnie the Pooh ride.

02:39:19.000 Kind of, yeah.

02:39:20.000 And there were machine elves.

02:39:22.000 Yeah.

02:39:23.000 And then I kept seeing maps of California.

02:39:27.000 Really?

02:39:27.000 Like Grand Theft Auto style pull out maps.

02:39:30.000 And nothing much happened.

02:39:34.000 I've had people have stuff with parents or friends or whatever, like traumatic experience.

02:39:38.000 Nothing like that happened for me.

02:39:39.000 When you say machine elves, what do you mean?

02:39:42.000 Like the stuff you've talked about, like this sort of terror at 30,000 feet, Twilight Zone, goofy little...

02:39:50.000 But it was like a fractal thing?

02:39:53.000 The thing about the DMT ones, it's all fractal.

02:39:56.000 Like you see them, you see like infinite numbers.

02:39:58.000 Mine was closer to Tron, I would say.

02:40:00.000 But like thinner neon and more like a grid.

02:40:06.000 Like graphing paper.

02:40:09.000 Yeah.

02:40:10.000 But like all sort of vague dimensional neon.

02:40:14.000 The machine elves thing was Terence McKenna's thing.

02:40:17.000 That's what he always says.

02:40:18.000 It's a good description.

02:40:20.000 I guess.

02:40:21.000 Some people don't.

02:40:22.000 I just assumed that it was...

02:40:23.000 I've only gotten them on ketamine.

02:40:26.000 I never thought of them as machines.

02:40:29.000 They seem like they don't...

02:40:31.000 Oh, I assume machine meant they were in the machine.

02:40:34.000 They were just elves. 1.00

02:40:35.000 They were just like little goblin little motherfuckers. 1.00

02:40:38.000 That makes sense. 1.00

02:40:39.000 Yeah, that actually makes more sense.

02:40:40.000 That was like fine.

02:40:42.000 Then I did...

02:40:42.000 Okay, that makes way more sense.

02:40:44.000 Transcranial magnetic stimulation.

02:40:46.000 That's one where they're sort of tapping.

02:40:49.000 It's like they put sort of a thing on you and it feels like it's electromagnetic.

02:40:57.000 It's like a CAT scan.

02:40:59.000 It's what it kind of feels like.

02:41:01.000 And it's just weird.

02:41:02.000 Do you mind if I ask you a couple more questions about the ketamine?

02:41:04.000 How long does it last?

02:41:06.000 40 minutes?

02:41:07.000 40 minutes.

02:41:07.000 Yeah.

02:41:08.000 And so is it almost instantaneous because it's IV? They're giving it to you IV? Yeah.

02:41:13.000 Eight minutes.

02:41:14.000 Probably tops.

02:41:15.000 So you lay there and within eight minutes you're gone.

02:41:17.000 Gone.

02:41:18.000 And you're gone for 45 minutes.

02:41:19.000 Yeah.

02:41:19.000 Wow.

02:41:20.000 And I was kind of like at a certain point you could kind of hear people.

02:41:24.000 They're all being quiet but you're aware that they're there.

02:41:27.000 Is there any hangover or anything after it's over?

02:41:32.000 That's mostly what I had.

02:41:33.000 My eyes were sort of burning, irritated for like a month or two. 0.96

02:41:38.000 Yeah, it sucked. 0.62

02:41:40.000 And I kind of felt hungover. 0.77

02:41:43.000 Did you ask them about that?

02:41:45.000 Yeah, and the guy said, I've never had someone have that.

02:41:48.000 And so you did feel hungover.

02:41:50.000 So the juice wasn't worth the squeeze for you?

02:41:52.000 At all, for that.

02:41:54.000 I did ecstasy once, and I loved it.

02:41:58.000 But the next day, I felt so bad. 1.00

02:42:00.000 I felt like dog shit. 0.99

02:42:03.000 And I was like, ooh, I'm not doing that again. 0.99

02:42:05.000 I couldn't read.

02:42:06.000 I was sitting in a cafe, and I was trying to read a magazine, and I couldn't read.

02:42:10.000 I couldn't focus.

02:42:11.000 Do you think you could have done anything to mitigate it the day before?

02:42:14.000 Yes.

02:42:15.000 If I knew about 5-HTP, which is serotonin precursor, there's a product that Onnit actually has called Numu that boosts up your serotonin.

02:42:25.000 But you were on 5-HTP. You're actually probably one of the places where I heard about it the first time.

02:42:30.000 I heard about it because Benji...

02:42:31.000 Not Benji...

02:42:33.000 One of the store guys told me I'd done ecstasy and he was like, take some of this after.

02:42:39.000 And then I read about it and it's antidepressant.

02:42:41.000 It does help your body have the building blocks.

02:42:48.000 Yeah, and then it's also like tryptophan converts to 5-HTP and 5-HTP converts to serotonin.

02:42:56.000 I think that's how it works.

02:42:57.000 It has both of them in.

02:42:58.000 Like New Mood has both of those things in it.

02:43:00.000 So it gives you like a more synergistic effect.

02:43:03.000 But a lot of people take those kind of things to come down after ecstasy.

02:43:08.000 Like you could buy it.

02:43:09.000 You could buy 5-HTP on Amazon and all those places.

02:43:12.000 Yeah, you can get it at the antivitamin store now at this point.

02:43:14.000 Yeah, it's interesting, those things.

02:43:16.000 I'm super fascinated by nootropics now.

02:43:19.000 Even Mike Tyson has a nootropic now.

02:43:21.000 Mike Tyson sent me a case of his Jones soda.

02:43:26.000 He has Jones soda, and it's a nootropic soda.

02:43:31.000 It's pretty good.

02:43:32.000 None of them really have worked.

02:43:34.000 I've tried St. John's Wort.

02:43:35.000 I've tried a bunch of them.

02:43:37.000 Have you tried Alpha Brain?

02:43:39.000 Yours?

02:43:40.000 Yeah, I think I got a little nauseous.

02:43:42.000 Like, sometimes 5-HTP would make me nauseous.

02:43:45.000 No, no.

02:43:47.000 It doesn't have 5-HTP in it.

02:43:48.000 Does Jones supplement?

02:43:49.000 Oh, I'll take some Alphabrain.

02:43:51.000 That's your thing, right?

02:43:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:43:52.000 Yeah, I'll take some.

02:43:53.000 Does it say what the ingredients are?

02:43:56.000 Tiger's blood?

02:43:57.000 Tiger's blood?

02:43:58.000 How dare you?

02:43:59.000 I think that's just the flavors.

02:44:00.000 Here it goes.

02:44:00.000 So it's got niacin, vitamin B, B12, pantothenic acid, and then L-theanine.

02:44:08.000 This is the stuff, the Wissana proprietary blend.

02:44:11.000 So they don't tell you what the proportions are.

02:44:16.000 They just tell you what the milligrams are.

02:44:18.000 So this proprietary blend, 515 milligrams, it's L-theanine and acetyltyrosine, lion's mane extract, fruiting bodies, and mycelium and caffeine.

02:44:30.000 So it has some lion's mane mushrooms, which is supposed to be good for neurogenesis, and then it has the theanine, which is great for memory.

02:44:41.000 And I don't know, I've heard of tyrosine before too, and acetyltyrosine.

02:44:45.000 What does that do?

02:44:47.000 I know what that does.

02:44:48.000 I just can't remember.

02:44:49.000 It's a preservative or something, isn't it?

02:44:50.000 I don't know.

02:44:51.000 Is it?

02:44:52.000 But either way, it's a soda that can boost your memory, which is great.

02:44:57.000 Ideally, yeah.

02:44:58.000 Neurogums.

02:44:58.000 Caffeine helps.

02:44:59.000 You know what's funny?

02:45:00.000 Caffeine does most of the heavy lifting on those things.

02:45:02.000 Caffeine does, for sure.

02:45:05.000 None of them...

02:45:06.000 No one has these things without caffeine, because caffeine's the one you feel. 0.99

02:45:10.000 Mmm, I bet it kicks in and synergistically works with it too because I know alpha brain works really well with Caffeine and that gum that neuro gum if you tried that shit. 0.99

02:45:18.000 It's really good. 0.99

02:45:19.000 Okay That stuff has some caffeine in it, too.

02:45:23.000 I think it has 40 milligrams per tablet mental performance alertness Yeah, okay.

02:45:30.000 So L-tyrosine is given as a supplement to increase L-tyrosine levels in people with PKU. I don't know what that is.

02:45:35.000 L-tyrosine has been used in alternative medicine as a possible effective aid in improving mental performance, alertness. 0.94

02:45:41.000 A lot of these categories, the more you learn, the less you're like, ah, that might not be effective because it's like it doesn't cross the blood-brain barrier or shit like that where you just go, I don't fucking know. 0.80

02:45:51.000 It might just be a superstition. 0.75

02:45:53.000 Or how maybe some of it gets through.

02:45:55.000 I know that's some of the criticism of other things like ginkgo biloba.

02:46:00.000 People don't think that that works.

02:46:02.000 But the thing about certain nootropics is they have done studies.

02:46:06.000 Like Boston Center for Memory did some studies that we actually funded for AlphaBrain.

02:46:11.000 And they showed improvement in...

02:46:15.000 Performance in terms of your ability to form sentences, people were quicker to form sentences, they had a better verbal memory, and they also had better reaction time.

02:46:24.000 And there was also a thing about the alpha state, like alpha brain states.

02:46:29.000 I guess, I don't know how they measure that though.

02:46:30.000 Is that measured through activity?

02:46:32.000 I'm not sure.

02:46:33.000 Yeah, it's probably some reading or something. 0.99

02:46:36.000 So increasing peak alpha flow state, whatever the fuck, that sounds like horseshit. 0.99

02:46:40.000 I know it's not, but I mean, I hear that term. 0.98

02:46:43.000 If someone with wooden beads tells me about peak alpha flow state, but apparently it's measurable.

02:46:48.000 And so they did find improvements, and I feel an improvement in terms of memory when I take these things.

02:46:54.000 It really does work.

02:46:55.000 Because like, podcasts are...

02:46:57.000 80% of it is like recalling things.

02:47:00.000 Associations and recalls.

02:47:01.000 A lot of memories, you know?

02:47:02.000 So you have to have a good memory.

02:47:03.000 Well, that's what always impresses me about you is the amount of weed you smoke and it doesn't...

02:47:08.000 You have a very good recall.

02:47:10.000 Yeah, the weed fucks with it sometimes, though.

02:47:13.000 Like, weirdly.

02:47:15.000 Like, things I do know, but I forget someone's name.

02:47:18.000 But I think that's a hard drive space issue.

02:47:20.000 I really do believe that.

02:47:22.000 Well, it's hard to know the older you get where you go, is my brain worse or did it make a decision about relevance?

02:47:29.000 Did it just go, I don't care about this, so I'm just going to get rid of it?

02:47:34.000 I don't think that's the case because with most things that I'm excited about, my recall is excellent.

02:47:41.000 I think the real issue is I don't have enough hard drive space.

02:47:44.000 Because I think at a certain point in time, you've taken in so much information that you can't keep it in recent files.

02:47:51.000 So even though I've read a book or not...

02:47:53.000 It's like the brain can only...

02:47:54.000 You should only know 50 people or something.

02:47:56.000 Dunbar's number.

02:47:56.000 Yeah.

02:47:57.000 And I wonder what the amount of, like, facts...

02:48:01.000 Yeah, we actually looked up Dunbar's number.

02:48:03.000 It's actually more complicated than we thought.

02:48:05.000 It's not as simple as, like, you can only know 250 people.

02:48:09.000 It's like there's levels of- It's associations, right?

02:48:12.000 Yeah, which makes more sense to me.

02:48:13.000 Because I definitely know more than 250 people or 150 people. 1.00

02:48:16.000 I know a lot of fucking people. 0.99

02:48:18.000 But I can remember them when I'm around them sometimes. 0.99

02:48:21.000 Yeah, if you just remember, like, you're familiar and you don't even know what.

02:48:25.000 And then sometimes, like, I'll have a conversation with someone and it's like, you go back in time.

02:48:29.000 Like, hey, what's up?

02:48:30.000 How you doing? 0.99

02:48:30.000 What the fuck's going on? 0.99

02:48:31.000 Like, oh my god, I haven't seen you in forever. 0.99

02:48:33.000 And then, bam.

02:48:34.000 You know?

02:48:35.000 But that's just a normal function of being a person. 1.00

02:48:38.000 You're only supposed to have so much fucking information in your head. 0.95

02:48:41.000 That's why, like, a lot of guys who are, like, super geniuses are often, like, weird socially, like, clueless. 0.99

02:48:47.000 I would argue almost all of them.

02:48:49.000 Yeah.

02:48:50.000 I've been doing a joke where it's like God's making a video game character, and it's like you put a bunch of...

02:48:59.000 It's like Bill Cosby, he was like, let's put it all in comedy.

02:49:02.000 What about morality?

02:49:03.000 He's like, he'll figure it out. 1.00

02:49:06.000 And I'm like, wait, what the fuck? 1.00

02:49:07.000 That's a great joke! 1.00

02:49:08.000 That's a great line!

02:49:09.000 Nah, I'll figure.

02:49:10.000 It'll be fine.

02:49:11.000 Like all these things.

02:49:12.000 It's anything. 0.99

02:49:13.000 If a girl has a big tit, she has small butt. 1.00

02:49:17.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

02:49:18.000 What?

02:49:19.000 Well, not anymore, but like natural balances of like, there's natural balance.

02:49:25.000 So if you're incredibly gifted in one area, you're going to be deficient in another area.

02:49:30.000 A lot of times it's hidden, but if it's social, you can't hide it.

02:49:35.000 Yeah, a lot of times it's just a function of the amount of energy that it takes to get, like, really good at something or really into something. 0.99

02:49:42.000 Like, if you're someone who's just only fixated on your looks, the amount of time that must be involved in just looking good, Jesus Christ, how do you have time for other shit? 0.98

02:49:50.000 Or a lot of these people are just a little autistic. 1.00

02:49:53.000 Oh, yeah.

02:49:54.000 Oh, yeah.

02:49:55.000 Oh, yeah. 0.96

02:49:56.000 And sometimes those people get really fucking good at things. 0.97

02:49:59.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:49:59.000 Really good at things. 0.97

02:50:01.000 I mean, they can focus.

02:50:03.000 Yep.

02:50:04.000 You get a really intelligent autistic kid interested in something, whether it's coding or jujitsu.

02:50:10.000 Dinosaur, whatever. 0.99

02:50:12.000 Whatever the fuck it is. 0.99

02:50:13.000 Isn't that weird? 0.99

02:50:15.000 Whatever is missing in terms of a connection with people socially, sometimes, not always, because sometimes they're really troubled.

02:50:26.000 But sometimes it allows them to get so unbelievably good at this thing that they do, like whatever it is.

02:50:33.000 It's almost like there's a guy named Shane Van Boning, and he's one of the best pool players in the world.

02:50:38.000 In fact, he just won the world championships.

02:50:40.000 I mean, he's been one of the best for decades.

02:50:42.000 He's got hearing aids.

02:50:43.000 When he plays, he shuts them off. 1.00

02:50:46.000 Shuts them off, and he doesn't hear shit. 1.00

02:50:48.000 He just concentrates on the balls moving around the table, and that's all he does is play pool. 1.00

02:50:52.000 This motherfucker plays pool eight hours a day, constantly. 0.99

02:50:55.000 He's so good. 1.00

02:50:56.000 He's so good.

02:50:57.000 When you watch him play, he just shuts those hearing aids off and just gets into it.

02:51:01.000 And he has another layer of detachment from the world while he's playing the game that other people don't have.

02:51:09.000 Other people have to ignore the sounds they hear.

02:51:11.000 They have to ignore their own footsteps. 1.00

02:51:13.000 He doesn't hear shit. 1.00

02:51:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:51:15.000 I've been doing a joke about that, too, where it's like every great athlete is crazy.

02:51:20.000 Oh, yeah.

02:51:22.000 Where they talk about, like, we need our athletes to have good mental health. 1.00

02:51:26.000 Shut your mouth. 0.99

02:51:26.000 Did you watch the Michael Jordan documentary? 0.99

02:51:28.000 Yeah.

02:51:30.000 And then I have a bunch of bits about that. 1.00

02:51:31.000 It's like, these people are fucking nuts. 0.99

02:51:33.000 Michael Phelps, you know he won 23 gold medals? 1.00

02:51:37.000 You know what the second most of all time is?

02:51:40.000 Nine.

02:51:42.000 So like, yeah, he's gonna get a DUI every once in a while. 0.99

02:51:45.000 Like, that's just the fucking, that's just the price we pay. 0.98

02:51:48.000 Who was the person who ratted him out for smoking out a bomb? 1.00

02:51:51.000 I mean, what a punk ass shit. 1.00

02:51:54.000 That was early internet. 1.00

02:51:55.000 Early internet.

02:51:56.000 It's like, oh, four.

02:51:57.000 First rat.

02:51:58.000 Yeah.

02:51:58.000 One of the first rats.

02:51:59.000 Because he got in real trouble for that.

02:52:01.000 Yeah.

02:52:01.000 Isn't that hilarious?

02:52:03.000 And now it's like, what?

02:52:03.000 Like, if you want to talk about a guy who's Unquestionably healthy.

02:52:08.000 Uh-huh.

02:52:08.000 Look at his choice.

02:52:10.000 Uh-huh.

02:52:10.000 He chooses to smoke out of a bong.

02:52:12.000 Uh-huh.

02:52:12.000 Maybe he's onto something.

02:52:13.000 Yeah.

02:52:14.000 Yeah, exactly. 0.99

02:52:15.000 I mean, he's a fucking health expert. 0.99

02:52:17.000 He's a peak performance expert. 1.00

02:52:19.000 Who the fuck knows- Yeah, like, are you more worried about his health than he is? 0.99

02:52:22.000 I'm guessing he's a little more invested in his lungs than you are. 0.99

02:52:26.000 Anyhow. 0.99

02:52:26.000 Maybe he's right about the benefits of it, you fucking- Well, that was just a snitch situation. 0.99

02:52:31.000 Such a snitch. 0.99

02:52:31.000 I think he was just at a party and wanted to smoke a joint. 0.99

02:52:33.000 You think that guy uses that?

02:52:35.000 I'm the guy who got Michael Phelps in trouble.

02:52:38.000 I also videotape a lot of concerts if you want to watch them on my phone.

02:52:41.000 I got five different fireworks on my phone.

02:52:44.000 So, I don't know if you guys got time later.

02:52:52.000 So ketamine, it just was like not forming.

02:52:56.000 So it just tripped you out, but it didn't make your depression any better.

02:52:59.000 Didn't have any, yeah.

02:52:59.000 Didn't abate the depression at all.

02:53:01.000 And the magnetic thing did?

02:53:03.000 Yes.

02:53:04.000 Transcranial magnetic stimulation.

02:53:05.000 Had to do it 45 times.

02:53:07.000 Wow.

02:53:07.000 And then went back.

02:53:08.000 Where do you go to do it?

02:53:10.000 Another office in West L.A. Jesus.

02:53:13.000 Third floor, second floor, good West L.A. How long before you felt it?

02:53:19.000 I felt it about three sessions in.

02:53:21.000 Really?

02:53:23.000 Wow.

02:53:23.000 So the first one you're like, yeah, maybe.

02:53:26.000 Second one, and then third one, what do you think?

02:53:28.000 Oh.

02:53:30.000 That's similar, like, I don't want to dance, but I'm just like lighter.

02:53:35.000 Lighter.

02:53:36.000 Do you do any cardio?

02:53:38.000 Yeah.

02:53:39.000 What do you do?

02:53:40.000 Run.

02:53:41.000 Does that make you feel better?

02:53:43.000 No.

02:53:44.000 I've never gotten runner's high.

02:53:45.000 I'm like, how could I get runner's high?

02:53:50.000 Really?

02:53:50.000 Yeah.

02:53:52.000 I got a Peloton. 1.00

02:53:54.000 Damn. 1.00

02:53:55.000 That's crazy. 1.00

02:53:57.000 I exhausted it.

02:53:59.000 I think I exhausted it.

02:54:01.000 You exhausted the possibility?

02:54:03.000 I felt like I did.

02:54:04.000 In terms of treatments, I did a ton of different medications, and I did a ton of different alternative things.

02:54:11.000 And TMS worked.

02:54:12.000 And then I went in, right before COVID, I was in China, I was doing a show, and I ended up getting a supercharged version of TMS. They could do 40 sessions in a week, basically.

02:54:27.000 Whoa.

02:54:29.000 Because there's less regulation.

02:54:31.000 Jesus.

02:54:32.000 Did they cook your brain?

02:54:35.000 I'll show you a video. 1.00

02:54:36.000 It's pretty fucking... 0.99

02:54:37.000 It's pretty graphic. 0.99

02:54:39.000 It didn't hurt, but it looks like it hurts.

02:54:43.000 It hurt a little.

02:54:44.000 Can you send it to Jamie so Jamie can post it up here?

02:54:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:54:48.000 The fuck, dude? 1.00

02:54:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:54:51.000 So you feel it.

02:54:54.000 Yeah.

02:54:55.000 You definitely feel the... 1.00

02:54:59.000 The magnet fucking with your brain? 1.00

02:55:02.000 Jamie, are you on... 1.00

02:55:03.000 So is it...

02:55:04.000 Are you better now?

02:55:07.000 Well, I'm going to get to that.

02:55:09.000 Ooh, the build-up is killing me.

02:55:10.000 I love it.

02:55:11.000 Airdrop.

02:55:12.000 Let's do Jamie's MacBook Pro.

02:55:15.000 Ooh.

02:55:16.000 Incoming, Jamie.

02:55:17.000 What a great world we live in.

02:55:19.000 Pretty cool.

02:55:20.000 Send a video through the sky.

02:55:21.000 Pretty cool. 0.96

02:55:22.000 That is pretty fucking cool. 0.95

02:55:32.000 Okay. 1.00

02:55:33.000 Yeah, it's the funniest shit in the world. 1.00

02:55:36.000 It's the dumbest. 1.00

02:55:38.000 I can't believe what it's doing to my face. 1.00

02:55:41.000 Whoa, dude.

02:55:43.000 Like, that wasn't happening in L.A. Like, that one's more severe.

02:55:47.000 Right?

02:55:48.000 Is it better?

02:55:50.000 Uh...

02:55:51.000 I think it was.

02:55:52.000 I think it was just better.

02:55:53.000 It's like a stronger...

02:55:55.000 It seemed like what I got in LA Times, three or four.

02:55:58.000 Could you get a home unit?

02:56:02.000 I don't know.

02:56:03.000 I mean, it's pretty well...

02:56:04.000 I mean, it's also covered by insurance, which is pretty cool.

02:56:06.000 But you have to go somewhere, right?

02:56:08.000 Yeah.

02:56:08.000 Wouldn't it be better if you just, like, watch an Ozark with a helmet on?

02:56:11.000 Well, that's what you end up doing anyway.

02:56:14.000 Rewind it.

02:56:15.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:56:19.000 So then COVID starts.

02:56:22.000 Somebody sends me an article from the New York Times about ayahuasca.

02:56:25.000 And I'm like, and he's like, we got to do this.

02:56:28.000 I'm like, all right.

02:56:29.000 I get a number, get a private.

02:56:32.000 I had to go off antidepressants.

02:56:34.000 This is October 2020. So I go, I wean myself off of, I'm taking Zoloft all the time.

02:56:41.000 And I'm like, why am I taking Zoloft?

02:56:42.000 I'm like, I don't need it, Frank.

02:56:44.000 Because the problem was, without Zoloft, I wasn't depressed, but I was getting panic attacks on stage.

02:56:50.000 Which is like, this, I can't have this.

02:56:52.000 So I take Zoloft, and I wouldn't get panic attacks.

02:56:56.000 Only on stage.

02:56:58.000 Yeah.

02:56:58.000 And one time I got one in a meeting.

02:57:01.000 It was fucking weird. 0.96

02:57:02.000 I'm like, I know this person. 0.99

02:57:04.000 It was odd.

02:57:05.000 I would just get them for seemingly no reason.

02:57:08.000 And so, going for the antidepressants, do ayahuasca with one shaman-type guy.

02:57:19.000 At my buddy's house, and it's like, very pleasant.

02:57:23.000 It was like, we did one cup, it was me, Bianca from the store, my friend Bijan, Sarah Mello, like, and it was like nice, right?

02:57:34.000 It kind of felt like, I like cried about groups of people.

02:57:40.000 Groups of people.

02:57:41.000 I don't know.

02:57:41.000 Just gatherings of people made me cry.

02:57:44.000 I was crying so hard where your nostrils are closed.

02:57:49.000 And is it unusual that you experience the kind of sadness that makes you cry?

02:57:52.000 It wasn't even sadness.

02:57:54.000 It was kind of tears of reverie.

02:57:58.000 Not joy and not tenderness.

02:58:02.000 We'll say tenderness from a place of love more than a place of sadness.

02:58:08.000 You feel connected to that?

02:58:10.000 Yeah, I feel connected to the I was also seeing wide shots of forests.

02:58:19.000 Just like, okay, cool.

02:58:21.000 And then it lasts about three and a half hours, then we all hang out and talk, whatever.

02:58:26.000 And then I find a better...

02:58:28.000 That guy was kind of a lightweight.

02:58:30.000 And then I find a better circle to do it in via someone that had been on a commercial.

02:58:36.000 She was like, come to the circle.

02:58:38.000 So I, first night at the Circle, it's like by Six Flags in LA, it's not like, it's not Peru.

02:58:46.000 And it's, I couldn't get the amount right.

02:58:51.000 And I was just kind of nauseous and didn't really feel much. 0.96

02:58:54.000 And I did ayahuasca, did two or three cups of ayahuasca, I tried this thing called hape, which is, they blow ash, Sacred tobacco ash up your nostrils, and it's like you have fuckin' rocks in your head.

02:59:12.000 I've never felt a thing like this.

02:59:14.000 And apparently it multiplies the ayahuasca for eight to ten minutes. 0.95

02:59:17.000 It's like a fuckin' mushroom in Super Mario Bros. 0.98

02:59:21.000 where you're stimulated. 0.96

02:59:24.000 And people, you can do a thing where you do an intention, and a lot of times you'll vomit up, you'll purge up a thing, like a notion.

02:59:35.000 I have a...

02:59:36.000 Yeah, I got a lot of stories.

02:59:39.000 So the ash goes up your nose.

02:59:40.000 The ash, if you look, it's spelled R-A-P-E with an umlaut over the E. So it's spelled rape, but it's with an umlaut over the E. And people...

02:59:50.000 It's in a thing called a tepe.

02:59:53.000 And...

02:59:54.000 So that's just smoke, but they were using ash.

02:59:57.000 That's smoke, but there's one.

02:59:57.000 The first one, no, that's smoke.

03:00:00.000 If you do get rid of ayahuasca and smoke, just do put an umlaut over the E. Yeah, the problem is rape crisis. 1.00

03:00:11.000 It just goes to the...

03:00:12.000 If you put a thing over the E... How do you do that on a regular keyboard?

03:00:16.000 Can you just hold the E? You hit option and then hit E and they all come up.

03:00:22.000 Can you Google Rape? 0.61

03:00:24.000 Yeah, there we go. 0.98

03:00:26.000 Let's see.

03:00:26.000 Okay.

03:00:27.000 There you go.

03:00:28.000 Okay, there he goes.

03:00:29.000 Oh wow, that's wild.

03:00:30.000 That looks painful.

03:00:32.000 It's wild.

03:00:34.000 Look at the face.

03:00:36.000 Yeah.

03:00:37.000 I tried that.

03:00:38.000 And so the ash goes up your nose.

03:00:39.000 Yeah.

03:00:40.000 And you're like... 1.00

03:00:42.000 I was just like, yo, this shit... 1.00

03:00:45.000 People purge immediately. 1.00

03:00:47.000 But a lot of times you can purge up a notion.

03:00:51.000 You can purge up an intention.

03:00:53.000 You can purge up...

03:00:53.000 I mean, a buddy of mine purged up his mother's hatred of him.

03:00:57.000 Oh, Jesus.

03:00:58.000 Like a thing. 0.64

03:01:01.000 I'm basically like a goofball. 0.71

03:01:03.000 I'm like a new age goofball is what I'm trying to tell you. 0.78

03:01:05.000 So that's the first night.

03:01:07.000 It's my second career night, first night at the New Circle.

03:01:13.000 Second night, I get the amount correct, and I was an atheist, and I opened my eyes at one point in the circle, and I was like, oh, I'm in the presence of God right now.

03:01:31.000 I can't explain it.

03:01:32.000 It's a feeling.

03:01:33.000 I am in the presence of what I can only describe as God.

03:01:40.000 And I was like, this is the first spiritual experience I've ever had in my entire life. 0.99

03:01:43.000 Twelve years of Catholic school, altar boy, church, mass, fucking nothing. 0.99

03:01:48.000 And then this was like, oh, this is what church is supposed to be. 0.99

03:01:54.000 Like, this connection to the center beam or the center force.

03:02:02.000 And, like, a real profound, like, okay, I'm no longer an atheist.

03:02:09.000 I now believe in a god or creation force.

03:02:18.000 Yeah.

03:02:18.000 And obviously the question would be, someone would ask you if they were trying to diminish this, they would say, but you are on drugs.

03:02:24.000 You understand that you're on drugs and this is not a real experience and this is all highlighted by the hallucinations happening in the neurotransmitters and the way it's affecting your brain.

03:02:36.000 Yeah.

03:02:36.000 Here's the thing, I can't counter that.

03:02:38.000 Do you know what I mean?

03:02:39.000 It's not one of these things where it's true for me.

03:02:42.000 Right, but here's the question.

03:02:43.000 Here's what I always say.

03:02:45.000 I had this very same conversation with Dennis McKenna, and we both agreed on this, that who cares if it's real?

03:02:50.000 It's the same experience.

03:02:52.000 Like, if you took a pill, and that pill, or you took ayahuasca, and that ayahuasca makes you reach that state, or if you reach that state from saying an incantation, and then you walk through...

03:03:04.000 Holotropic breathing.

03:03:05.000 Whatever it is.

03:03:06.000 Yeah.

03:03:07.000 How do we know that that's not real?

03:03:08.000 Like, imagine if God was real, and you could get in front of God, but the only way to do it is to eat mushrooms.

03:03:14.000 He'd be like, wait, what?

03:03:15.000 I would argue that's true.

03:03:17.000 It might be.

03:03:17.000 I mean, do you know what I mean?

03:03:18.000 It sounds so crazy.

03:03:19.000 In my experience, it's the only way.

03:03:23.000 Now, the good thing is, it's in me now.

03:03:28.000 Because then I was no longer an ayahuasca, and I was like, that was as real a thing as has ever happened to me.

03:03:35.000 It's in you meaning it's changed you?

03:03:37.000 Yeah.

03:03:39.000 So the depression's gone?

03:03:40.000 Well, I'll get to that.

03:03:43.000 No, no, no.

03:03:43.000 My belief in God.

03:03:45.000 Yes.

03:03:46.000 Belief in a central creation force, right?

03:03:47.000 And by the way, I know how this sounds.

03:03:50.000 It's very mockable.

03:03:51.000 It's very reducible.

03:03:53.000 This podcast is filled with mockable reducible things.

03:03:55.000 Sure, sure, sure, sure.

03:03:56.000 Laughing all the way to the bank.

03:03:59.000 And getting mocked all the way to the bank.

03:04:03.000 So the fourth time I do it, that circle that I was doing it in, they weren't like COVID. They were like loose with COVID. And it's like 20 people in a room.

03:04:14.000 And this is in like before the vaccine.

03:04:16.000 It's just like early.

03:04:17.000 So I'm like, ah, a guy got COVID right after the ceremony.

03:04:22.000 I'm like, could you test?

03:04:23.000 And they're like, we don't really just whatever.

03:04:25.000 Yeah.

03:04:25.000 So I went back to the first guy, the original guy, and did a private with Ian Edwards and my friend Catherine and worked for Ian.

03:04:38.000 He had a great time.

03:04:40.000 Not great time, but like a profound spiritual time.

03:04:43.000 My friend Catherine was sort of like very uneasy.

03:04:47.000 And it wasn't working for me.

03:04:50.000 And I kept saying, yeah, it just wasn't working.

03:04:53.000 I was like, maybe I'll take more?

03:04:54.000 Because it felt like I had to work out the amount at the other place.

03:04:58.000 So this place, I was like, maybe I'll take more?

03:05:00.000 And I probably ended up drinking like an ounce.

03:05:03.000 And I've come to drink around a quarter of an ounce.

03:05:06.000 So this was like an ounce.

03:05:08.000 And it wasn't working, wasn't working, wasn't working.

03:05:11.000 Hit me like... 0.99

03:05:14.000 A fucking freight train where I immediately purged and I went into... 0.99

03:05:27.000 I would have a thought like, what? 0.99

03:05:30.000 And in my brain it sounded like I'd go, what?

03:05:34.000 And I was like, oh, I'm in Pink Floyd land.

03:05:39.000 I'm gone.

03:05:41.000 I'm going to be a drug casualty.

03:05:44.000 Then I was in outer space alone and the universe was dying.

03:05:58.000 You're alone.

03:06:00.000 We're killing Saturn. 1.00

03:06:03.000 Children.

03:06:07.000 The Milky Way.

03:06:09.000 Like, that was the message I was getting.

03:06:11.000 Like, it's all dying and you're alone.

03:06:14.000 And I breathed.

03:06:15.000 I mean, it's the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced until I'll get to the thing that topped it.

03:06:24.000 I was breathing just in case.

03:06:30.000 I was literally like breathing.

03:06:32.000 I was breathing like this.

03:06:38.000 And I was, for like, he said about two and a half hours.

03:06:42.000 I have no recollection of any of it other than I'm in outer space.

03:06:49.000 Like, it's...

03:06:51.000 I was...

03:06:52.000 When I came to, I was...

03:06:57.000 I slept with the lights on for a few days.

03:07:01.000 It was so terrifying to my absolute core.

03:07:10.000 But I realized about three or four days after that From not being on antidepressants, I'd say the floorboards of my mood were a little mushy, like I could get lower than I could without antidepressants.

03:07:31.000 I'm sorry, with antidepressants, it would be more secure.

03:07:36.000 Not on antidepressants, it was a little loose and gushy.

03:07:39.000 And I realized about four days after that terrifying outer space experience that it was completely secure.

03:07:47.000 And it was like polished granite.

03:07:52.000 Like it fixed your brain.

03:07:53.000 And I literally was like, I'm never going to need antidepressants again.

03:07:57.000 Positive.

03:07:58.000 And you haven't had them since?

03:07:59.000 No.

03:07:59.000 Really?

03:08:00.000 Yeah.

03:08:00.000 That was December 2020. That's incredible.

03:08:06.000 Year and a half.

03:08:07.000 And here we are.

03:08:08.000 It's the end of May.

03:08:09.000 Yeah.

03:08:10.000 So this is a year and a half later.

03:08:11.000 In 2022. That's incredible.

03:08:13.000 Yeah.

03:08:13.000 I had a little panic on stage, but I figured that out.

03:08:17.000 So that was...

03:08:18.000 So now...

03:08:19.000 So I've done Aya four times at this point.

03:08:21.000 Had that experience.

03:08:23.000 And I was like, I really like Aya in that...

03:08:27.000 It's a connection to spirituality, you know what I mean?

03:08:32.000 I don't have any besides that.

03:08:35.000 And so I went to the other place, the Good Circle, and I had a few rough ceremonies.

03:08:47.000 One of them in the room, I heard a tiger.

03:08:54.000 Like, it's in the room.

03:08:59.000 There is a tiger in the room.

03:09:01.000 Acoustically, it was like there was a tiger in the room. 0.98

03:09:03.000 And then I hallucinated a tiger, came around an altar, and I went like, like, real fucking fear. 0.82

03:09:11.000 And I had a couple tough journeys like that, where it was another one that was funnier, is I thought, I mean, dude, in this circle, I've seen people get possessed. 0.96

03:09:22.000 They had to tie a guy up.

03:09:24.000 Like, it's impossible, but I've seen it. 0.99

03:09:28.000 It's one of these things where I'm like, this shit's wild. 1.00

03:09:35.000 That one where the guy was possessed, they had to pour salt in his mouth, like real wild shit. 1.00

03:09:40.000 I'm like, oh, this is the rapture. 0.99

03:09:42.000 This is the rapture.

03:09:43.000 We're in the rapture.

03:09:44.000 This is the end.

03:09:46.000 So I had that rapture thing again.

03:09:49.000 And they go, let's go around the room, just check in with everybody, Neil.

03:09:52.000 And I go, not good.

03:09:54.000 Like two, couple words to describe your feeling.

03:09:55.000 I go, not good.

03:09:56.000 And then they go to the next guy and he goes, I'm balancing.

03:09:58.000 And I'm like, balancing?

03:10:01.000 Dog, this is it.

03:10:03.000 Like, it's over.

03:10:05.000 And then when I heard balancing, and then as they went on, I was like, oh, this is not the rapture.

03:10:09.000 I was like, Neil, this is your problem and your problem alone.

03:10:12.000 Do you think that your state of mind in going into the ceremony has an effect on it?

03:10:20.000 Or is it just your consciousness interacting with these chemicals?

03:10:25.000 Yeah, you know what's funny?

03:10:26.000 Because I've thought about that.

03:10:27.000 Like, am I... Is it like a fevered imagination?

03:10:32.000 And all I would say is I'm not aware, I don't think about the rapture much, if at all.

03:10:40.000 Right, but some people take the same amount as you and they have these magical, like, madre experiences.

03:10:46.000 Yeah?

03:10:47.000 Dancing with the mother. 0.66

03:10:48.000 Well, I'll get to that.

03:10:50.000 So...

03:10:54.000 How good is that coffee?

03:10:55.000 It's actually very good.

03:10:56.000 It's very tasty.

03:10:58.000 Good for you, Black Rifle.

03:11:01.000 So five, six, seven, eight are rough.

03:11:06.000 And then nine, in the circle where I do it, he opens the room to spirits.

03:11:17.000 Again, I'm glad everyone knew me before this.

03:11:22.000 Because I'm like, what?

03:11:25.000 Okay, so...

03:11:27.000 He opens the room to spirits.

03:11:31.000 I start shaking like this.

03:11:33.000 For an hour.

03:11:35.000 Two hours.

03:11:37.000 Three hours.

03:11:38.000 Shaking like this.

03:11:40.000 And the funny thing is I'll get an itch on my nose and I'll be like...

03:11:44.000 And then it just resumes.

03:11:46.000 So, I'm not doing it.

03:11:50.000 And it's just whatever.

03:11:52.000 It's happening.

03:11:54.000 And I thought it was traumatic release.

03:11:57.000 There's a thing called traumatic release exercises where your body will shake out trauma.

03:12:01.000 It's like this guy, Peter Levine, wrote a book called The Body Keeps the Score, which is like the body stores trauma.

03:12:07.000 And then if you do traumatic release, it'll like shake it out.

03:12:12.000 I had it in a therapy session for EMDR. I would shake...

03:12:16.000 I don't fucking know. 0.98

03:12:17.000 And then Buddy, which I was shaking for four hours. 0.98

03:12:20.000 Okay, so here's where it gets bananas.

03:12:24.000 Woman walks past me, just like doing a little sexy little dance because the music's excellent and great. 1.00

03:12:31.000 And I'm like, I literally have the thought, like one of these days I'm going to dance like Lucia.

03:12:36.000 And I'm shaking.

03:12:37.000 I go, one of these days I'm going to dance like Lucia.

03:12:40.000 My body starts dancing, Joe, and I'm not doing it.

03:12:47.000 Really?

03:12:48.000 I swear to you.

03:12:50.000 I'm not doing it. 1.00

03:12:51.000 It's some angels in the outfield shit. 1.00

03:12:53.000 Like, it's fucking nuts. 1.00

03:12:55.000 It's nuts. 1.00

03:12:57.000 And it happened that ceremony, and then it started happening pretty regularly.

03:13:03.000 It's not big.

03:13:04.000 It's like arm motions, arm positions that I'm not controlling, that my body just goes into.

03:13:12.000 They call it mediumship in the circle.

03:13:15.000 Like...

03:13:16.000 Like, I'm...

03:13:18.000 And here's the crazy part.

03:13:19.000 I don't feel crazy.

03:13:21.000 Mediumship meaning that a spirit takes over your body.

03:13:24.000 Ostensibly, yes.

03:13:26.000 Here's the thing, man.

03:13:28.000 The only reason why it seems crazy is because more people don't do psychedelics.

03:13:32.000 When you tell these stories to someone who does psychedelics, they go, mm.

03:13:36.000 Yeah.

03:13:36.000 I've been near that.

03:13:38.000 I'm not weirded out by it.

03:13:40.000 No, I know.

03:13:40.000 I'm not confused.

03:13:42.000 But if I didn't know that that's possible.

03:13:44.000 Also, if you didn't know me and know how cynical I am.

03:13:48.000 Yes, when you were straight-laced.

03:13:50.000 Yeah.

03:13:52.000 It's a weird one, right?

03:13:54.000 It's so easy to dismiss because it sounds so preposterous.

03:13:57.000 The problem is enough people are going to dismiss it just because of that, which is really unfortunate.

03:14:01.000 Yeah, and also understandable.

03:14:03.000 It is understandable.

03:14:05.000 I literally like where people are like, do you believe in...

03:14:08.000 I'm like, I believe in anything now.

03:14:11.000 Yeah.

03:14:11.000 If you've had a real breakthrough psychedelic experience, it's so beyond anything that you could use your words to describe, that the only way to really get it into your head is to have one.

03:14:21.000 And it's not for everybody.

03:14:23.000 Yeah, I agree.

03:14:24.000 It's not for everybody.

03:14:25.000 It's one of those things where I thought this is for everybody, and then it's like, it's such a big, it's a big swing.

03:14:31.000 I used to think the same way.

03:14:32.000 I used to think everybody should do it.

03:14:34.000 And now I'm like, eh.

03:14:36.000 I had a really funny thing happen with my mom where one of the ceremonies had the thought, like, I have my mom's software and my dad's hardware.

03:14:44.000 Oh, wow.

03:14:45.000 And I talked to my mom a few days later.

03:14:49.000 I was like, hey, mom, I did this thing called ayahuasca, and I got to say, it made me love you more.

03:14:54.000 And she texted me a few days later, could the whole family do it? 1.00

03:14:58.000 LAUGHTER Just like a hack for a fucking little kid. 1.00

03:15:02.000 If you get caught with weed, just tell them it made you love them more. 1.00

03:15:05.000 Do you need multiple sessions to dial it in, though?

03:15:09.000 No, well, what's crazy...

03:15:11.000 Oh, yeah, I don't think...

03:15:13.000 I wouldn't expect the best if a family did it.

03:15:15.000 I've heard stories of families doing it, and some people...

03:15:18.000 You know, it's like...

03:15:20.000 It's a... 0.99

03:15:21.000 I hate to say it's a different dimension, but it's a different fucking dimension. 0.99

03:15:25.000 It's a different dimension. 0.98

03:15:26.000 It's a different dimension.

03:15:28.000 It doesn't sound like that should be a real thing that's accessible to the average person.

03:15:33.000 But if you do the right stuff and you're in the right setting...

03:15:38.000 One of the things that was wildest to me was doing it with the Icaros.

03:15:42.000 Like doing DMT with the Icaros and you watch them dance to the music. 0.72

03:15:47.000 And you're like, is this...

03:15:48.000 Where did you do DM? You did it with the tribal people? 0.95

03:15:51.000 No, no.

03:15:52.000 Icaros is a type of music.

03:15:53.000 Yeah.

03:15:53.000 Yeah, so we had recordings of this music.

03:15:56.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

03:15:56.000 No, they play recordings in my circle.

03:15:58.000 One of the songs they play during Hoppe is the best song I've ever heard.

03:16:03.000 Really?

03:16:03.000 Like, that's the best song I've ever heard with my ears on earth.

03:16:08.000 While you're on that stuff.

03:16:10.000 Like, it syncs up with the music.

03:16:11.000 But I can sing it now.

03:16:12.000 I mean, I'm not going to because it's, like, too sacred to me.

03:16:16.000 Maybe you should. 0.98

03:16:16.000 But it's, like, they make noises you've never heard where I'm like, what the fuck? 0.98

03:16:22.000 Yeah. 0.98

03:16:22.000 Um... 0.98

03:16:23.000 The Icaros seem to be like synced up for DMT. Or either that or DMT syncs up to it.

03:16:32.000 But something happens.

03:16:33.000 I think it's inspiring.

03:16:36.000 I mean, do you ever hear the story of how they came to make ayahuasca?

03:16:40.000 Well, they don't really know.

03:16:41.000 Well, the legend is that the plants spoke to them.

03:16:45.000 The mushrooms.

03:16:46.000 I thought the legend was like that the mushrooms had spoke to them.

03:16:48.000 I mean, I'm sure there's five different versions of it, but yeah, like for them to put the certain chacruna plant and the cappy plant and boil them for the right amount of time.

03:17:01.000 Do you know the history of that area?

03:17:03.000 This is where it gets really interesting.

03:17:04.000 The history of that area probably wasn't all just rural tribes.

03:17:09.000 Like, what they think now was that there was a vast civilization in the Amazon.

03:17:14.000 And in fact, the Amazon itself was probably at least partially the result of human agriculture gone amok.

03:17:21.000 That's interesting.

03:17:22.000 Yeah, there's all these trees.

03:17:23.000 We pulled this up the other day.

03:17:25.000 There's these trees, I think it's the ice cream bean tree and a couple other trees, that just overwhelm the canopy.

03:17:32.000 They're just these crazy plants that were planted there.

03:17:36.000 They even developed their certain type of soil.

03:17:38.000 They think what happened, and this is all based on that lost city of Z. It's also the same sort of subject.

03:17:46.000 They think that the original explorers who went there and had these incredible encounters with people, they saw these magnificent cities and they're filled with gold and everything was like incredibly advanced.

03:17:57.000 All that shit was gone within a hundred years because everybody was dead from smallpox. 0.81

03:18:03.000 So those Europeans introduced diseases just like they did to the Native Americans, just like they did to the Mayans, just like they did to anybody they encountered. 0.99

03:18:11.000 And they did it to them and just completely wiped them out.

03:18:13.000 And now they're using something called LiDAR, where they fly over the jungle.

03:18:17.000 And they're finding these grids. 0.92

03:18:19.000 They're finding what used to be like the patterns of cities and irrigation and shit. 1.00

03:18:23.000 It's fucking wild. 0.99

03:18:25.000 Archaeologists find vast network of Amazon villages laid out like the cosmos. 0.99

03:18:30.000 So this is the thing.

03:18:31.000 If they were super advanced back then, and they all got killed off by smallpox, and the only people that survived are the people that lived in the hills.

03:18:37.000 The people that were completely detached didn't get smallpox.

03:18:40.000 And so what you have left is...

03:18:42.000 The Amish.

03:18:43.000 The Amish of the... 0.98

03:18:45.000 Right, but maybe those people who made those incredible cities figured out ayahuasca.

03:18:51.000 Doesn't that make sense?

03:18:52.000 Yeah, that's the...

03:18:53.000 That they were advanced.

03:18:55.000 Yes, and...

03:18:59.000 You know, instead of like...

03:19:00.000 What happened after those ceremonies is like...

03:19:05.000 It happens...

03:19:06.000 When I do mushrooms, I shake.

03:19:09.000 Like your dancing shake?

03:19:11.000 I'm usually sitting, but I might...

03:19:13.000 Maybe you have a spirit in you.

03:19:14.000 Maybe you have like an extra spirit that's in you right now that's making it happen.

03:19:17.000 Here's a crazy...

03:19:19.000 I'll buy it.

03:19:19.000 What do you got?

03:19:21.000 I'll buy it.

03:19:23.000 Literally, nothing is too far for me now.

03:19:25.000 Where I'm like, dude, it happens on stage sometimes.

03:19:28.000 Really?

03:19:28.000 Where I'll hold my arm in a certain way and it'll get...

03:19:31.000 It's happening right now, actually.

03:19:32.000 It's gonna be your thing.

03:19:33.000 Like, now Bert Kreischer takes his shirt off?

03:19:34.000 Yeah, I'm gonna do my dancing. 0.99

03:19:37.000 My spirit and my fucking arm dancing. 0.99

03:19:40.000 Just like, I don't fucking know. 0.99

03:19:44.000 And so, okay, so then I do that probably 13, 14 times. 0.96

03:19:51.000 Wow.

03:19:52.000 Over how many years?

03:19:53.000 A year and a half.

03:19:54.000 That's quite a lot.

03:19:56.000 Thank you.

03:19:57.000 I mean, you're burning the oil, right?

03:19:58.000 You're doing it every couple months?

03:20:00.000 That's pretty heavy.

03:20:01.000 Yeah, but it's like, I don't know.

03:20:03.000 Do I seem depleted in any way?

03:20:05.000 No, no, no.

03:20:06.000 I don't mean heavy in terms of bad for you.

03:20:07.000 I mean heavy in terms of a lot of experiences.

03:20:09.000 It meant like...

03:20:12.000 I mean, most of the time, it was just, I would have the shake, and I just felt communing with the spirituality, basically.

03:20:23.000 You know, there's people out of the University of Jerusalem, I believe that's where it is, where there's scholars now believe that the whole idea of Moses talking to the burning bush, that the burning bush represented God, that that burning bush was probably the acacia tree,

03:20:39.000 which is rich in DMT. They think there was probably a translation issue and that this was most likely.

03:20:47.000 Like, it makes sense, right?

03:20:48.000 Say if you smoke DMT and you do have an encounter with God the way you had, right?

03:20:52.000 You have this, which is from DMT. Imagine if they figured out how to do that back then.

03:20:57.000 What if it was just burning the bush and you could burn it into a confined area and you'd get enough DMT in you that you would see God?

03:21:04.000 Yeah.

03:21:05.000 I mean, again, I don't...

03:21:06.000 Or they can make an ayahuasca or they figured out, you know, what's an MAO inhibitor and how to take the two of them together.

03:21:13.000 Well, that's the other thing.

03:21:14.000 It's like the amount of things that need to line up for it to...

03:21:18.000 For humans to be able to digest it.

03:21:20.000 It's like you got to drink vine and you...

03:21:22.000 You know, when Western scientists first started working with ayahuasca and isolating it, they tried to call Harmin telepathy.

03:21:31.000 That's funny.

03:21:32.000 Yeah, because they all had these very similar experiences where they're syncing up together.

03:21:38.000 So they wanted to call it telepathine, but they had already named it Harmin.

03:21:44.000 The rules of scientific nominature, I guess.

03:21:47.000 Right.

03:21:47.000 So that's what they were going to call it.

03:21:49.000 They were going to say, imagine if they did that, and they started studying back then.

03:21:55.000 Just imagine what a difference the world is if it's not harming, but telepathine.

03:22:00.000 There's a thing called telepathine, and you take it, what?

03:22:02.000 Everybody would go, what is it called?

03:22:03.000 Why is it called that?

03:22:05.000 Well, give me some.

03:22:06.000 If they made ayahuasca legal in this country and developed research centers, And they made psilocybin legal.

03:22:15.000 I believe that'll happen.

03:22:16.000 I mean, I think psilocybin, you know, as someone who's been pretty into it for a couple years, I mean, you can have some really, really big reactions in ways that...

03:22:34.000 I haven't been harmed, but I'm saying like, it's like a clinical situation. 1.00

03:22:39.000 This is fucking big shit. 1.00

03:22:41.000 It's big shit. 1.00

03:22:42.000 It's like big shit beyond trauma, beyond... 1.00

03:22:46.000 The origins of the universe. 0.99

03:22:51.000 It is profound.

03:22:53.000 It's like profound doesn't cut it.

03:22:55.000 Yeah.

03:22:57.000 The words don't exist.

03:22:59.000 Yeah.

03:22:59.000 So to bring corporations, doctors, all that stuff, it's like, I think there has to be a spiritual element to it or else it's...

03:23:08.000 I think it can be very helpful, but it goes to the other point we're saying, which is like, It might not be for everybody.

03:23:13.000 It might not be for everybody, but it also might be one of those things that just has to get out there.

03:23:18.000 It just has to get loose and then we figure out how to contain it.

03:23:21.000 Meaning, like, what's the proper way to administer it?

03:23:24.000 And just let it get through people so enough intelligent people can examine it and have similar experiences so they can talk about it.

03:23:33.000 A lot of the legislation and a lot of the demonization of psychedelic drugs come from people who don't do them.

03:23:40.000 That's the weird part about it, is people have these ideas that people are trying to escape reality and that you're being weak.

03:23:49.000 I think that's why it's important, I think, to talk about it. 0.84

03:23:52.000 Because as stupid as it sounds for you when you're explaining it, to me it sounds totally believable, and I can tell that something happened because you seem lighter. 0.97

03:24:02.000 Everyone said that. 0.99

03:24:04.000 Yeah, you always have this heaviness.

03:24:05.000 Every single person I met has said I seem lighter.

03:24:08.000 Okay, so I did it a dozen or so times, and then I'm in New York doing this show, unacceptable.

03:24:14.000 Go to neilbrennan.com slash shows.

03:24:17.000 See it in your town.

03:24:19.000 And...

03:24:21.000 Someone says, hey, I got a, I'm, someone's here doing 5MEO, DMT, if you want to do it.

03:24:30.000 It's, I can get you in tomorrow.

03:24:32.000 Okay.

03:24:33.000 So I have a day off, I go, I do it.

03:24:35.000 I think I did it 8 o'clock on a Monday.

03:24:41.000 One hit, and I, I had, I always, DMT always sounded too severe to me.

03:24:51.000 The way you described it, blast off.

03:24:53.000 Yeah.

03:24:54.000 The way Michael Pollan described it, he was like, he couldn't find much, it was too powerful.

03:25:03.000 But I was like, and I always walked around, and then I didn't have any, I was like, I haven't done Aya in a few months, and you know, whatever, it's a free night, whatever.

03:25:11.000 So I go, and I do it, and this is where I'm like, this shouldn't, this isn't for everybody.

03:25:21.000 I had to go back and watch your podcast with him because I went to the same place he went to, which is before the Big Bang is where I went.

03:25:35.000 Whiteout, I don't know what I am. 0.57

03:25:44.000 I don't know what breathing is.

03:25:46.000 I don't know what direction is.

03:25:47.000 I have zero orientation whatsoever.

03:25:51.000 I don't know.

03:25:53.000 I don't know.

03:25:55.000 I couldn't...

03:25:57.000 I felt like I developed the first synapse.

03:26:02.000 Like...

03:26:02.000 I'm nothing.

03:26:07.000 And...

03:26:10.000 I mean, really scary.

03:26:13.000 Obviously.

03:26:13.000 I mean, it's one of these things where I'm there, but I'm not there.

03:26:16.000 Do you know what I mean?

03:26:16.000 It's like, what am I that's thinking that I'm nothing?

03:26:20.000 Clearly, you get into the sort of Sam Harris world of, you know...

03:26:27.000 And in that ceremony, so you start from the Big Bang and then it felt like slowly my character, personality, traits, soul come back into me.

03:26:44.000 And it was almost like I could pick.

03:26:47.000 I literally said at one point, like, no, I'm not doing that anymore.

03:26:51.000 Like, it was like a negative or a gossipy thought or a petty thought came in.

03:26:55.000 I was like, no, no, we're not doing that anymore.

03:26:56.000 I mean, obviously I do, but I'm saying, like, it felt like, oh, I'm getting to pick.

03:27:01.000 That was just kind of how I explained it to myself.

03:27:05.000 And...

03:27:08.000 I probably inhaled at 8 and I was back walking home at 9. But I had a big, that was a big one, like that Big Bang thing.

03:27:20.000 I describe it as Control-Alt-Delete for your brain.

03:27:24.000 And when your brain reboots, it's got an empty desktop, but it has one folder. 0.99

03:27:29.000 And in that folder, it says, My Old Bullshit. 0.60

03:27:31.000 And you get to go through that folder and decide if you want to just be comfortable and you just want to fall back onto old patterns. 0.90

03:27:40.000 They're right there for you. 1.00

03:27:41.000 Go back into your old bullshit. 1.00

03:27:43.000 Or recognize that you genuinely have seen something that has the possibility and the capability to reset your brain. 1.00

03:27:50.000 And reset your life and reset who you are and the way you think about things.

03:27:57.000 So I had that...

03:27:59.000 It's fast, in a way.

03:28:01.000 You know what I mean?

03:28:02.000 It's 15 minutes. 1.00

03:28:03.000 But it's like, oh, fuck. 1.00

03:28:04.000 And then slowly you're thinking, and you're like, okay. 1.00

03:28:07.000 Okay, so I'll leave.

03:28:09.000 And so here's what's crazy.

03:28:12.000 That was Monday.

03:28:14.000 Saturday night...

03:28:16.000 Ryan Hamilton, great comedian, came to my show, and I'm walking home with him, and he grew up Mormon, and I'm talking, I'm like, oh yeah, and we've talked about religion before, and I'm like, yeah, I think I'm not, and I explain to him DMT, and this is Saturday night,

03:28:33.000 and I, weird thing, like, in bed that night, and I'm kind of explaining the DMT experience to him, where I'm like, yeah, I was kind of near God.

03:28:44.000 And I was...

03:28:47.000 Yeah, I was like...

03:28:49.000 The way I experienced it was I feel like I was 100 feet away from the central creation force of the universe.

03:28:55.000 Whoa.

03:28:56.000 And...

03:28:57.000 Like you could feel the warmth?

03:28:59.000 Here's the crazy part.

03:29:00.000 It wasn't warm.

03:29:02.000 There was no human interface.

03:29:04.000 It was just a...

03:29:07.000 It presented as a wall or something.

03:29:10.000 But it was like...

03:29:14.000 It wasn't benevolent.

03:29:17.000 It wasn't spiteful.

03:29:19.000 It was just like, I created you and Saturn.

03:29:25.000 And by the way, I say I, but to me it's not a man-woman, it's just a force.

03:29:31.000 So you think it's a thing that's a real thing that creates everything, and maybe that does make sense if you think about the Big Bang, if you think about all of the incredible things that they've discovered about the cosmos itself,

03:29:48.000 that there's a thing that's actually creating that, like a force.

03:29:51.000 That's creating things.

03:29:52.000 That was what I experienced.

03:29:56.000 So that was Saturday night.

03:29:58.000 Sunday day, I wake up and I'm like, I basically start having a reactivation, like a flashback or whatever.

03:30:07.000 So I go get coffee with a woman. 1.00

03:30:11.000 And I'm basically like split between reality and this other thing.

03:30:17.000 Oh, Jesus.

03:30:18.000 And it's like, oh, this is bad.

03:30:21.000 Oh, no.

03:30:22.000 This is bad.

03:30:23.000 This is how many days after?

03:30:24.000 Five days.

03:30:25.000 Six days.

03:30:27.000 By the way, like 70% of people have a reactivation when they smoke it, apparently, because I looked it up.

03:30:32.000 I've had it while having dreams.

03:30:34.000 Yeah.

03:30:35.000 I've had dreams where I thought that I was tripping, and then I did it.

03:30:41.000 But not 5-MeO.

03:30:43.000 Only the other one, only NN. Yeah, I mean, again, so I don't know if I took too big. 0.55

03:30:47.000 I only had one hit.

03:30:48.000 It's so strong.

03:30:49.000 You know, DMT, like, it's NN dimethyl drip to me.

03:30:52.000 It's very potent, super potent.

03:30:54.000 But 5-MeO is more potent.

03:30:56.000 It's the most potent.

03:30:57.000 It was, to me, too potent.

03:30:59.000 There's no visuals.

03:31:00.000 That's what's weird.

03:31:01.000 You just go to white. 0.70

03:31:02.000 It just whites out.

03:31:03.000 Yeah.

03:31:03.000 And it's almost like...

03:31:04.000 You see like a pixelation, or you see like living compounds of reality.

03:31:11.000 Like you see things, you're in the middle of it, but you're one of it.

03:31:14.000 It like breaks down. 0.96

03:31:16.000 Whatever the fuck it means to be like an atom, it breaks it down. 0.97

03:31:19.000 That was the experience I had. 1.00

03:31:20.000 I'm like an amoeba.

03:31:22.000 Yeah.

03:31:22.000 I'm like not an amoeba.

03:31:26.000 Amoeba's a single cell organism.

03:31:28.000 That's pretty complex.

03:31:29.000 You're not even that.

03:31:29.000 You're like the energy of an amoeba.

03:31:31.000 Yes.

03:31:32.000 And also the energy of a tree, the energy of the sky.

03:31:35.000 Yeah, I'll accept that.

03:31:36.000 Yeah.

03:31:37.000 I mean, so now I'm on Lafayette.

03:31:41.000 So you're flying back and forth between...

03:31:42.000 And I'm like...

03:31:43.000 And that Sunday and Monday, I had the thought, not only is this the worst day of my life, this is the worst day of a life.

03:31:52.000 Yeah.

03:31:53.000 This is the worst day of anyone's life.

03:31:55.000 Because I couldn't...

03:31:57.000 You were driving?

03:31:58.000 No.

03:31:58.000 I'm just walking.

03:31:59.000 It's New York.

03:32:00.000 So I'm like...

03:32:01.000 And then plus I have this divergent vision.

03:32:04.000 Oh, that's right.

03:32:05.000 Which is...

03:32:06.000 At one point I'm like, I don't understand reality.

03:32:08.000 And I'm seeing two images. 0.94

03:32:10.000 And I was literally like, this couldn't be fucking more hilarious.

03:32:14.000 Do you think they're connected? 0.96

03:32:14.000 No. 0.96

03:32:15.000 No way?

03:32:16.000 No.

03:32:16.000 Not even a little.

03:32:19.000 Because this is too early into that.

03:32:21.000 This is six, seven months ago now.

03:32:24.000 So now I don't...

03:32:27.000 At one point I literally have the thought, like, I might be in God's imagination. 0.98

03:32:31.000 I mean, I was fucking gone. 0.96

03:32:35.000 Like, I wouldn't wish... 0.99

03:32:36.000 I had the thought, I wouldn't wish this on Hitler.

03:32:38.000 It was so nuts where I was.

03:32:42.000 And I literally...

03:32:44.000 I thought, I'm probably going to have to kill myself, and not suicidally, from like, I can't take this.

03:32:50.000 But I also knew it was just going to be more of it.

03:32:54.000 Oh, Jesus, because especially that this is five days after you've had it.

03:32:58.000 Yeah.

03:32:58.000 So it's gone through your system and something might have broken.

03:33:02.000 Were you thinking that?

03:33:04.000 That maybe something broke?

03:33:06.000 If you're experiencing it again?

03:33:08.000 Well, a lot of people have reactivations.

03:33:11.000 So it's like, I've read 70% of people that smoke 5-MeO get...

03:33:16.000 72% was the number I read.

03:33:18.000 And if you do it... 1.00

03:33:18.000 When you're on the fucking highway. 1.00

03:33:21.000 Here's the crazy part. 1.00

03:33:23.000 I did a show Wednesday.

03:33:28.000 No problem.

03:33:29.000 No one knows.

03:33:29.000 I mean, no one...

03:33:30.000 No problem.

03:33:31.000 I mean, it was a problem for me.

03:33:35.000 But the audience didn't know.

03:33:36.000 So by Wednesday, it had already started?

03:33:38.000 I was so... 0.95

03:33:39.000 Yeah, I was so fucking, like... 0.93

03:33:44.000 It wasn't, it was like right here is the thing. 0.93

03:33:48.000 Like I was never like completely gone.

03:33:50.000 It was just like...

03:33:51.000 Something was wrong.

03:33:52.000 At some point...

03:33:53.000 It's gonna pop out. 0.99

03:33:54.000 This can fucking overwhelm you. 0.98

03:33:56.000 And even on Monday, Sunday, Monday, it didn't overwhelm me. 0.99

03:33:58.000 But like, it was, it was fucking banana. 0.97

03:34:04.000 It was, dude, it was like, oh, this should... 0.98

03:34:06.000 So how'd you come back from?

03:34:06.000 Like human beings shouldn't experience this.

03:34:09.000 I literally had the thought like, oh, I went past.

03:34:12.000 I said I was aiming for God and I missed my stop.

03:34:18.000 So I knew intuitively do not meditate.

03:34:23.000 Really?

03:34:23.000 I just knew, and then someone, I read a thing about grounding after you have a psychedelic experience, and it was like, yeah, don't meditate.

03:34:32.000 That was like number one or two, and I was like, yep, way ahead of you.

03:34:36.000 Because the meditation would take you back there again?

03:34:38.000 Human beings are here, meditation's here, I was here.

03:34:41.000 Okay. 0.90

03:34:42.000 So, I knew, like, if I untether myself anymore, who fucking knows where I'm gonna go? 0.76

03:34:48.000 Wow, you might not be able to come back. 0.83

03:34:50.000 Yeah.

03:34:50.000 So, but I also was getting better every day.

03:34:54.000 How many days?

03:34:56.000 Uh...

03:34:59.000 Well, the funny thing was that was November 5th, and I was getting better every day, and then I went to the dentist December 21st or something, and I did the laughing gas.

03:35:10.000 Did it bring it back?

03:35:12.000 Mm-hmm.

03:35:13.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

03:35:14.000 I was like, fuck, I gotta start over. 1.00

03:35:16.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

03:35:17.000 And for how long?

03:35:21.000 That was December 21st.

03:35:24.000 I would say...

03:35:27.000 Here's what's crazy, it was so...

03:35:31.000 wild that...

03:35:33.000 I like, you know the screensaver on Apple TV? Yes.

03:35:37.000 Couldn't look at it.

03:35:38.000 Oh my god.

03:35:39.000 Like, mountains and...

03:35:42.000 All the fish?

03:35:43.000 I was like, I can't look at this. 0.96

03:35:45.000 It was fucking, I didn't, I was literally like, I don't... 0.77

03:35:49.000 It wasn't, I've looked it up, it wasn't derealization, because I didn't think things were fake. 0.97

03:35:56.000 And it wasn't depersonalization.

03:35:58.000 I was myself.

03:35:59.000 I don't know what it was.

03:36:01.000 Well, it's probably your brain recognized that it had this giant burst of DMT while it was conscious, and then it tried to reintroduce it.

03:36:10.000 Your brain probably remembered the experience and said, let's try it again.

03:36:15.000 Right.

03:36:15.000 I mean, it's the only thing that makes sense.

03:36:16.000 It's not like you did it again and I don't even know us to you.

03:36:19.000 But what was the state I was in?

03:36:23.000 You probably opened up a chemical gateway.

03:36:26.000 That's the thing that people think when they think of DMT or ayahuasca or 5-MeO or even psilocybin of being real.

03:36:33.000 They think that it might be like a way that you use chemicals to open up a doorway in your mind.

03:36:40.000 And that we think of it as not being real because it's not something that you can quantify like it's 50 calibers or it's 15 inches or 10 pounds.

03:36:50.000 It's like you can't weigh it or measure it.

03:36:52.000 But it's something that happens to everyone that does it.

03:36:56.000 So at what point in time do you say it's real?

03:36:58.000 And what is it?

03:36:59.000 If everybody has this profound experience that seems like they're in the presence of something infinitely loving and infinitely powerful and strange in its complexity and sees right through you, knows everything about you.

03:37:13.000 Yeah, I mean...

03:37:14.000 Like, what is that?

03:37:15.000 But it's the entire...

03:37:20.000 Like, what is any of this?

03:37:24.000 And it opens this thing in your brain.

03:37:27.000 And once it's open, that's what McKenna always said, that that door is always kind of open, once it gets open.

03:37:34.000 That's where I am now.

03:37:35.000 So I got better every day.

03:37:37.000 I remember I went somewhere in March with a woman, and she's like, let's watch the sunset.

03:37:41.000 And I was like, yeah, I can't do this.

03:37:43.000 I can't do sunsets!

03:37:45.000 It's something about the...

03:37:50.000 We're all trying to get to a 35,000 foot view.

03:37:53.000 And I went to 35 trillion feet.

03:37:56.000 And I was like, I don't even need...

03:37:58.000 I need to not get lofty.

03:38:02.000 Reset.

03:38:03.000 I need to be like...

03:38:05.000 Grounded.

03:38:05.000 Grounded and...

03:38:12.000 Yeah, just grounded and like human and...

03:38:16.000 But to your point, I'm lighter.

03:38:18.000 By the way, you know how the...

03:38:19.000 When I did the Bad Aya trip and it was secure? 1.00

03:38:25.000 Now it's more secure and higher.

03:38:28.000 Really? 0.99

03:38:28.000 I can fucking feel it in my brain. 0.99

03:38:32.000 I can feel it. 1.00

03:38:33.000 It's fucking... 0.99

03:38:34.000 Like, the thing you said about the all delete reset thing? 0.99

03:38:37.000 Yeah.

03:38:39.000 A million percent.

03:38:40.000 I have a different...

03:38:42.000 My values are different, and I don't mean my values are different, like, I still, everything's the same.

03:38:48.000 It's all the same software.

03:38:50.000 The interesting thing is, like, I don't get hijacked by feelings.

03:38:54.000 I don't get, like, so overwhelmed by anger that I can't think straight.

03:38:59.000 I don't, I just, I'm like, and it's not because I'm more righteous, it's because my brain and body are different. 0.75

03:39:10.000 I can't do the shit I was doing before. 0.64

03:39:13.000 And it's all better. 0.97

03:39:16.000 That's amazing.

03:39:17.000 It's all better.

03:39:20.000 I can still write great jokes.

03:39:23.000 All that's the same.

03:39:25.000 Thoughtful associations, recall.

03:39:29.000 The same or better.

03:39:31.000 But I don't...

03:39:33.000 I call it my...

03:39:36.000 There's the autonomic nervous system of breathing and heartbeat and all that stuff. 0.99

03:39:40.000 Shit your body does without you thinking about it. 0.97

03:39:42.000 My autonomic value system is a little different. 1.00

03:39:46.000 And my connection...

03:39:50.000 My ability to connect to people.

03:39:52.000 I've fallen in love a couple times...

03:39:55.000 Way easier.

03:39:59.000 And I've been using the analogy of juice worth the squeeze.

03:40:07.000 The juice is excellent.

03:40:11.000 But Joe, that squeeze...

03:40:17.000 Yeah, it's dangerous. 0.99

03:40:18.000 It's like, that's one of them things where I'm like, man, what a fucking ordeal. 0.70

03:40:24.000 Yeah, I don't know if I want to recommend it. 0.93

03:40:25.000 And it was four months, probably three or four months of, like, not, again, you wouldn't know it.

03:40:31.000 No one knew.

03:40:32.000 Right.

03:40:33.000 But I couldn't talk about it for a month and a half or two months.

03:40:37.000 Like, I was literally like, I can't talk about it, but I'm not myself, but I can't explain exactly.

03:40:42.000 My friend said I just seemed preoccupied.

03:40:45.000 Yeah, I went through one after a really heavy DMT trip for a couple weeks where I was worried about accidents.

03:40:51.000 And I wasn't worried about accidents in a rational sense.

03:40:54.000 That happened after my eye.

03:40:55.000 I was worried about it in a sense that I felt like my ego was trying to regain control and that one of the best ways to do that was to put me in fear.

03:41:05.000 So that it would take care of me.

03:41:07.000 Be careful.

03:41:08.000 Watch what you're doing. 1.00

03:41:09.000 Like, what if one of those cars comes over the top of the fucking lane and smashes right into your windshield? 0.99

03:41:14.000 Like, I started thinking like that. 1.00

03:41:15.000 Like, what the fuck am I thinking like this for? 0.99

03:41:17.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:41:18.000 And it was all just my brain trying to play tricks on me to get my ego activated.

03:41:23.000 Because my ego felt like it just got blowtorched.

03:41:26.000 And, you know, it was just the reality of the experience was so bizarre.

03:41:33.000 So bizarre to the point where when I came back from it, I didn't believe in regular reality anymore.

03:41:38.000 The fact that I had known something that potent was just three hits away.

03:41:44.000 And then I had this...

03:41:45.000 I did it three times in the same setting.

03:41:49.000 I did it...

03:41:50.000 We went around a circle. 1.00

03:41:52.000 And when I did it the third time, I was like, fuck! 1.00

03:41:55.000 The third time was... 1.00

03:41:56.000 I went so far... 1.00

03:41:58.000 I was seeing all this Egyptian shit. 1.00

03:42:01.000 That was what was really wild. 1.00

03:42:03.000 I was seeing what looked like Pharaoh's heads and all of this, like the different stripes and gold and blue, and it was all these impossible powers. 0.97

03:42:15.000 It's impossible and shit that you probably have never seen or thought about. 0.96

03:42:19.000 Never. 0.99

03:42:19.000 That's what's crazy. 0.99

03:42:20.000 It's like, oh, this is not a brain association thing.

03:42:23.000 I've never thought of this.

03:42:25.000 You can't see that.

03:42:26.000 I don't think you can see that because it doesn't have lines in the sense of it doesn't have a border.

03:42:31.000 Like, it's not like this.

03:42:33.000 Like, I'm looking at this coffee pot.

03:42:34.000 I see where the edge is.

03:42:35.000 It has an edge to it.

03:42:36.000 Those things didn't have – they don't have borders. 0.72

03:42:38.000 They have an edge, but they go right into the other thing, and then they change what they are, and they're never the same thing.

03:42:46.000 They're always in a constant state of motion, and it seems to have consciousness.

03:42:50.000 Whatever it is, it absolutely reflects what you're thinking, and then, if you can let it go, imparts on you thoughts that you're incapable of.

03:42:59.000 Hits you with these thoughts and you have to address it and the best way to do it is just let go Like if you try to wrestle with it, you're I've seen people wrestle with it.

03:43:07.000 It's crazy They start screaming they roll around the floor.

03:43:10.000 Yeah Doug Stanhope.

03:43:12.000 I almost thought we lost him.

03:43:13.000 I got Doug high.

03:43:14.000 You did.

03:43:15.000 I'm kidding.

03:43:16.000 I mean, I really almost thought we lost him. 1.00

03:43:17.000 He's going Yeah, foam was coming out of his mouth like no bullshit. 1.00

03:43:22.000 I was like fuck do people die from this? 1.00

03:43:24.000 Yeah No, I mean, that was the... 1.00

03:43:29.000 It was crazy.

03:43:34.000 Yeah, you wouldn't want to recommend that, though, right?

03:43:36.000 That's what I mean.

03:43:37.000 It's like, I... It's one of those things, like, I can take it.

03:43:40.000 Right. 0.99

03:43:42.000 Fucking barely. 0.99

03:43:44.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:43:45.000 Like, an already weird disposition, disconnected trauma, abuse, all this shit, and then it's like, I can take it. 0.98

03:43:53.000 I took it. 0.98

03:43:54.000 But barely.

03:43:54.000 I took it, but barely.

03:43:56.000 But like, 12th round, I don't know.

03:44:00.000 And I'm...

03:44:03.000 It's one of the things where I'm...

03:44:05.000 I'm...

03:44:10.000 I guess I'm happy I did it.

03:44:12.000 I'm better!

03:44:13.000 That's the thing is I'm better.

03:44:14.000 And it was always this thing of like...

03:44:15.000 Of course you're happy then.

03:44:16.000 Right.

03:44:16.000 Why would you say you guessed?

03:44:17.000 Because it was so hard, dude.

03:44:21.000 It was so hard.

03:44:23.000 Maybe that's what you have to do.

03:44:24.000 Well that's what, and it's like I'm willing to, I can bear it, I can bear pretty much anything, but I'm saying like...

03:44:30.000 It's rough.

03:44:31.000 It was, I'm telling you, it was rough.

03:44:34.000 And I'm a guy with like a pretty tough jaw when it comes to like...

03:44:38.000 No you do.

03:44:39.000 Self, you know...

03:44:40.000 I'm glad you expressed that.

03:44:42.000 I'm glad you told that story.

03:44:44.000 I'm glad you said it the way you said it, because it was very honest, even though easy to ridicule.

03:44:49.000 For a guy like you, that's hard to do.

03:44:50.000 It's also a little embarrassing, in a way.

03:44:54.000 Well, you're a comic.

03:44:55.000 You know that if you hadn't done that, you would mercilessly mock someone who talked like that.

03:45:01.000 Yeah, but you know what's funny is whenever I tell people the story, everyone's scared.

03:45:07.000 Everyone is scared.

03:45:09.000 Literally everyone's like, wow.

03:45:11.000 Like, that's a big...

03:45:12.000 And it was like, yeah, I didn't understand.

03:45:14.000 I was on a plane one time that had turbulence and I was like kind of falling asleep.

03:45:18.000 And my first thought was, what am I? Like, that's in December.

03:45:28.000 Yeah, I'm gonna pee my pants.

03:45:29.000 And we were already like, how many?

03:45:32.000 Already went over?

03:45:33.000 Three hours and a half?

03:45:34.000 Four hours?

03:45:35.000 We're at four hours?

03:45:36.000 Nice! 0.94

03:45:36.000 Four hours, dude. 0.94

03:45:38.000 Pretty close to four hours.

03:45:39.000 That was awesome.

03:45:40.000 Yeah, thank you.

03:45:40.000 It was great to see you, man.

03:45:41.000 I'm really, really, really happy that all this happened for you.

03:45:44.000 I'm crazy about you, too.

03:45:46.000 And I'm, yeah, I think the world to you, too.

03:45:48.000 I think the world to you, too.

03:45:49.000 Thank you.

03:45:50.000 Alright, bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 25, 2022

Joe Rogan Experience #1823 - Neal Brennan

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Summary

Transcript