The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1907 - Protect Our Parks 6

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Stream by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!

00:00:11.000 Dude, I was telling somebody I used to do live streaming and you were like, what was I doing?

00:00:17.000 Yeah, we used to do all the shows live streaming. 0.99

00:00:19.000 It was so dumb. 0.98

00:00:20.000 So dangerous. 1.00

00:00:21.000 Boys, we're back.

00:00:22.000 Are we on?

00:00:24.000 The band's back together.

00:00:25.000 We're on.

00:00:26.000 Yay.

00:00:28.000 Fresh from the club. 1.00

00:00:29.000 Suck it, Neil deGrasse, you big fat queef. 1.00

00:00:32.000 Imagine going from that to this. 1.00

00:00:35.000 Imagine going from a legit astrophysicist, head of the Hayden Planetarium, to this podcast.

00:00:40.000 He's a sweet guy.

00:00:41.000 He's a great guy. 0.98

00:00:42.000 We talked about the James Webb telescope and new capabilities and some pretty wild shit. 0.99

00:00:47.000 Imagine caring. 0.99

00:00:49.000 What?

00:00:49.000 You don't care at all about space?

00:00:51.000 Well, it's a cute photo.

00:00:52.000 It's colorful.

00:00:53.000 No, that's just cool.

00:00:54.000 It's pretty cool.

00:00:55.000 It looks like Bejeweled, that video game.

00:00:57.000 Imagine if no one was paying attention to space if everyone was like us.

00:01:00.000 I'm like, I hope everything up there is good.

00:01:02.000 Yeah, whatever that is. 1.00

00:01:03.000 I don't know what the fuck that shit is up there. 1.00

00:01:05.000 Just don't attack. 1.00

00:01:06.000 As long as there's no attacks, I'm fine. 0.98

00:01:09.000 Even the Native Americans, they would look at it and they would make shit out of it, you know? 1.00

00:01:13.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:01:13.000 The constellation. 0.96

00:01:14.000 Oh, yeah, everybody did.

00:01:16.000 The Constellate.

00:01:17.000 It was pre-TV, you know, so you're like, this is the show.

00:01:20.000 The dots are so, like, weirdly connected, too.

00:01:22.000 Like, how are you getting an archer?

00:01:24.000 How's that an archer?

00:01:25.000 Yeah, you see it, you're like, you're drawing random lines in!

00:01:27.000 Yeah, you're just deciding.

00:01:29.000 Orion's belt.

00:01:29.000 Oh, there's a lion.

00:01:30.000 That's not Do you remember when you'd stay in these shitty little hotels and you'd have to pay money through a machine to watch porn? 0.98

00:01:52.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:01:53.000 There were some hotels.

00:01:54.000 I never saw that.

00:01:55.000 Ray Romano was a bit about it because his porn wasn't working, but he goes, so you have to call downstairs, but he's like, I have a very recognizable voice.

00:02:02.000 So I was like, hi, room 217. That was Gilbert.

00:02:07.000 He did there.

00:02:09.000 Yeah, it's Ray Romano.

00:02:12.000 Hey, that's pretty good.

00:02:13.000 Not bad.

00:02:14.000 He's a sweet, sweet man.

00:02:15.000 He's the best.

00:02:17.000 He's a good dude, man. 0.80

00:02:18.000 He kind of like made his money and just said, just let me fucking fade back a little bit.

00:02:22.000 I'll fade back a little bit. 0.97

00:02:23.000 Were you around for the vibrating bed with the quarter?

00:02:27.000 Yep.

00:02:28.000 I never saw that.

00:02:28.000 I thought that was a trope.

00:02:30.000 No, I never saw it.

00:02:30.000 I got on one of those ones just to feel it.

00:02:32.000 I put the quarter in by myself.

00:02:34.000 Just...

00:02:34.000 Yeah, I got it as a kid.

00:02:36.000 My mom would put them in for us.

00:02:37.000 Really?

00:02:39.000 I don't get it.

00:02:40.000 Michael J. Fox hated it.

00:02:43.000 Some places you would go and they would have the spinning bed of a circular bed and it spun.

00:02:50.000 That was like the honeymoon suite.

00:02:51.000 Like in the 1970s, there was a house that was for sale that...

00:02:58.000 Who had it?

00:02:59.000 Will Chamberlain?

00:03:00.000 Let's stay in one position and look at different walls. 1.00

00:03:02.000 I think Will Chamberlain had this fuckhouse that was for sale in the Hollywood Hills, and it was just, like, all decked out just for fucking. 0.98

00:03:10.000 Like, he had a whole room with, like, mirrors and a circular bed. 0.99

00:03:14.000 Last thing I wanted was a mirror when I'm fucking. 1.00

00:03:16.000 Holy shit, I'll take you out of it. 1.00

00:03:18.000 Agreed. 1.00

00:03:19.000 If you catch a glimpse of yourself, you're like, oh my god.

00:03:22.000 It looks insane. 0.99

00:03:23.000 When I'm on top of a woman, it looks fucking insane. 0.99

00:03:26.000 My back is too curved. 0.99

00:03:28.000 Yeah.

00:03:29.000 Yeah, this is Will Chamberlain's house.

00:03:31.000 Is that a waterbed?

00:03:34.000 It's wall to wall bed.

00:03:36.000 Yeah, it's all bed.

00:03:37.000 That's amazing.

00:03:38.000 He was just banging. 0.99

00:03:39.000 I bet that's crunchy as shit though. 0.99

00:03:40.000 If you got one of them black lights and ran it through that room, it would look like a Jackson Pollock painting. 0.99

00:03:46.000 That's what I call Will Chamberlain.

00:03:47.000 Jizz everywhere. 1.00

00:03:49.000 Black light.

00:03:50.000 But, Lisa Ann said John Sally had the biggest dong she'd ever seen.

00:03:55.000 Well, look at the size of him.

00:03:57.000 Yeah, but you never know.

00:03:58.000 He's gigantic.

00:03:59.000 John Sally's got to be close to seven feet tall, right? 0.98

00:04:01.000 6'9", 6'10"?

00:04:03.000 Still tall, but... 1.00

00:04:04.000 Of course he's got a giant dick. 1.00

00:04:04.000 Even if he had an average dick for his size, it'd be gigantic. 1.00

00:04:09.000 I heard Shaq is very underwhelming. 1.00

00:04:13.000 Underwhelming?

00:04:13.000 What?

00:04:14.000 How's that possible?

00:04:15.000 That's what I've heard.

00:04:16.000 How is that possible?

00:04:18.000 I know a lady. 1.00

00:04:18.000 His hands are as big as his table. 1.00

00:04:20.000 How is it possible?

00:04:20.000 I think he just looks...

00:04:21.000 You know a lady? 1.00

00:04:22.000 I know a lady. 1.00

00:04:23.000 That saw Shaq's dick. 1.00

00:04:24.000 Yes. 1.00

00:04:25.000 And she said...

00:04:26.000 In college.

00:04:26.000 Fine.

00:04:27.000 I don't know if this should be out there, but...

00:04:29.000 At LSU, he's still coming into his own. 0.98

00:04:31.000 I think, and into her, but I think you expect a fucking anaconda, and then when it's just proportionate, you're like, meh. 1.00

00:04:40.000 But you also have to deal with a girl who, like, I fuck Shaq, he ain't shit. 1.00

00:04:44.000 That's true. 1.00

00:04:46.000 Lying.

00:04:47.000 Bragging.

00:04:47.000 They do that to me all the time.

00:04:50.000 Every one of them a negative review.

00:04:53.000 They're just trying to get at me. 1.00

00:04:55.000 Thank God there's no fuck yelp. 1.00

00:04:57.000 That'd be bad. 1.00

00:04:58.000 Felp.

00:04:59.000 Felp.

00:05:00.000 They had a review for teachers, and I felt like they should always have to put their grades in before they review.

00:05:04.000 Rate my professor.

00:05:06.000 Yeah, like, oh, you don't like a D? What did you get?

00:05:07.000 Oh, a D? And you don't like him?

00:05:09.000 Hmm.

00:05:09.000 Uh-huh.

00:05:10.000 Strange.

00:05:11.000 We were talking yesterday about how hotels, you get in trouble for smoking, but you can jizz everywhere.

00:05:15.000 Yeah.

00:05:16.000 Isn't it a weird system?

00:05:17.000 Well, you don't get secondhand jizz, that's why.

00:05:20.000 What are you kidding?

00:05:20.000 It's all over the drapes.

00:05:21.000 But it doesn't, like, get in your lungs?

00:05:23.000 Ah, well.

00:05:25.000 Yeah, next tenant.

00:05:26.000 See what I'm saying?

00:05:27.000 I hear ya. 0.97

00:05:28.000 But what would you rather, a guy blow smoke in your face or jizz in your face? 0.86

00:05:32.000 Smoke. 0.91

00:05:33.000 Why do I have to choose?

00:05:34.000 Definitely smoke.

00:05:35.000 It's a tough choice.

00:05:36.000 Yeah, but I'm saying, can we get both?

00:05:37.000 Aren't we here to party?

00:05:38.000 Why are you guys pausing?

00:05:40.000 It's definitely smoke.

00:05:41.000 The answer is smoke.

00:05:42.000 It's certainly smoke.

00:05:44.000 Which guy, though?

00:05:45.000 Ah, John Sally.

00:05:47.000 John Stamos?

00:05:47.000 I'm taking it.

00:05:49.000 You take a hot one in the face? 0.99

00:05:50.000 Oh, from Stamos.

00:05:51.000 Stamos is your guy?

00:05:52.000 Greek yogurt.

00:05:53.000 I'd switch in a second for Stamos.

00:05:55.000 You would trade lives with John Stamos?

00:05:57.000 No.

00:05:57.000 I would trade with genders.

00:05:58.000 You'd gotta be you.

00:06:00.000 You'd switch genders? 0.97

00:06:00.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:06:01.000 Just to be with him.

00:06:03.000 Well, in a lot of prisons, you can do that now.

00:06:05.000 That's true.

00:06:07.000 What a fun trick.

00:06:08.000 Who would not do it? 1.00

00:06:08.000 What dumb fucks in prison are not going to the- Is that your guy? 1.00

00:06:11.000 Full head of hair. 1.00

00:06:12.000 He's like 70 years old now, too.

00:06:14.000 Yep.

00:06:14.000 Wow.

00:06:14.000 Looks great.

00:06:15.000 Yeah, he's a fucking hunk. 1.00

00:06:16.000 Is he married? 1.00

00:06:17.000 Yeah, married.

00:06:18.000 Kids.

00:06:18.000 Man, he's handsome.

00:06:19.000 Beautiful guy.

00:06:20.000 Beautiful man.

00:06:21.000 Hey, I got one. 0.99

00:06:22.000 Bring up that guy in White Lotus's dick from season two. 1.00

00:06:24.000 Take a little head of that. 0.99

00:06:25.000 What was that about?

00:06:26.000 Don't be scared.

00:06:26.000 No, no, no.

00:06:27.000 Don't be scared.

00:06:27.000 Just a little puff.

00:06:28.000 Try not to be so scared.

00:06:29.000 Come get me later.

00:06:30.000 Try not to be so scared.

00:06:34.000 Two hours in.

00:06:35.000 Let me see how I'm doing.

00:06:36.000 If I'm slacking, I'm fired up.

00:06:39.000 345. That's too heavy, dude.

00:06:41.000 We got a full five hours to go here.

00:06:43.000 We'll see when the fun guy kicks in.

00:06:45.000 We're all fun guys.

00:06:48.000 That was good, dude.

00:06:49.000 That was Mark Norman-like.

00:06:51.000 Hey, welcome, Jew. 0.99

00:06:53.000 Good special, by the way.

00:06:55.000 Congratulations.

00:06:57.000 Thank you, everybody.

00:06:58.000 Congratulations again.

00:06:59.000 Your special's at 4.1 now?

00:07:01.000 4.5 million in four weeks.

00:07:04.000 That's incredible.

00:07:05.000 Great, we can hang out with you again.

00:07:06.000 Have you ever seen a change?

00:07:08.000 I've never seen a change in personality like this.

00:07:11.000 Well, you know what?

00:07:11.000 The pop when you got on stage last night was extraordinary.

00:07:14.000 That's a lot of people having seen it and, I guess, enjoying it.

00:07:17.000 Well, all the people last night are comedy fans.

00:07:20.000 Right.

00:07:20.000 So you gotta assume those people have probably all seen it.

00:07:23.000 Some of them.

00:07:24.000 The couple to the right.

00:07:25.000 The couple to the right.

00:07:26.000 We thought this was a bar. 1.00

00:07:27.000 No, you're full of shit, man. 1.00

00:07:29.000 You tried to pretend you didn't have a good set last night. 1.00

00:07:31.000 It was fine.

00:07:31.000 You had a great set.

00:07:32.000 It was good.

00:07:32.000 You just have high standards.

00:07:34.000 Last one was better.

00:07:35.000 No, those chicks to the right were... 1.00

00:07:36.000 Chicks to the right. 1.00

00:07:37.000 They were tough.

00:07:38.000 They were nothing.

00:07:38.000 You couldn't look at them.

00:07:39.000 They were just like...

00:07:40.000 There's a chick to the right that just the whole show. 1.00

00:07:41.000 She looked like a lesbian in Scooby-Doo. 1.00

00:07:44.000 What's the last minute Scooby do? 0.99

00:07:46.000 Velma.

00:07:48.000 Do you guys still concentrate on people in the audience that aren't laughing?

00:07:50.000 You just notice them.

00:07:51.000 Especially when it's 20 in one group, just sitting there.

00:07:54.000 That's why it's good to go on stage high.

00:07:56.000 You're throwing your own little head.

00:07:59.000 That's how we work. 0.97

00:08:00.000 One guy's not laughing, and you're killing.

00:08:01.000 You focus on that guy.

00:08:02.000 Nick DePaul used to yell at people, and they did that. 0.99

00:08:05.000 Fucked your problem. 0.99

00:08:06.000 Used to. 1.00

00:08:06.000 Look at this fucking guy. 1.00

00:08:08.000 Used to. 1.00

00:08:08.000 I'm sure he still does. 1.00

00:08:09.000 Look at these cunts over here. 1.00

00:08:11.000 What country are you from, you motherfucker? 1.00

00:08:13.000 He could be fucking killing, and if one person wasn't paying attention, he'd be so fucking mad. 1.00

00:08:17.000 Pick a fight. 1.00

00:08:18.000 Oh, yeah.

00:08:18.000 Do you hear about the story when a guy was on his phone?

00:08:21.000 It was flip phone days, and he took the phone and put it in his Diet Coke.

00:08:24.000 Oh.

00:08:24.000 Yeah.

00:08:25.000 Wow.

00:08:27.000 Ballsy.

00:08:27.000 You've got to be able to fist fight if you do that.

00:08:29.000 Yeah, because that doesn't work after that.

00:08:32.000 It's not like an iPhone.

00:08:34.000 iPhones weren't waterproof until like three years ago.

00:08:36.000 That's right.

00:08:37.000 I used to wet the bed.

00:08:41.000 I peed on a lot of roads. 0.99

00:08:42.000 Would you ruin a phone with your piss? 0.92

00:08:44.000 Nowadays, if it was in your pocket overnight, you definitely would ruin it.

00:08:47.000 Rice had no chance.

00:08:48.000 You used to be able to send your iPhone to a company and they would waterproof it.

00:08:52.000 They would dunk it or spray it in some kind of plastic and waterproof all the stuff.

00:08:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:09:01.000 What was that shit again? 1.00

00:09:02.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:09:04.000 Chloroform or something?

00:09:05.000 It was like, they froze him.

00:09:07.000 Carbon.

00:09:07.000 Some carbon.

00:09:08.000 Carbonite.

00:09:09.000 Carbonite.

00:09:09.000 Yeah.

00:09:10.000 Maybe that was it.

00:09:11.000 Yeah, and then they thawed him out for the sequel.

00:09:13.000 Yeah.

00:09:13.000 Turns out he's not dead.

00:09:15.000 Well, he wasn't, remember?

00:09:17.000 What's the guy Luke?

00:09:17.000 Kylo Ren killed him.

00:09:19.000 What's Luke's thing?

00:09:20.000 He was in a Burt's movie.

00:09:22.000 Luke Skywalker.

00:09:23.000 Mark Norman?

00:09:23.000 Mark Hammond.

00:09:24.000 We're off.

00:09:25.000 We're off to a hot start again.

00:09:27.000 I missed it.

00:09:28.000 Did you have a stinker? 0.94

00:09:30.000 No. 0.94

00:09:30.000 Oh, okay. 0.94

00:09:31.000 No. 0.99

00:09:31.000 I'm just shitting on Star Wars. 0.99

00:09:33.000 Yeah, Mark Hamill got in a crazy motorcycle accident between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. 0.95

00:09:39.000 Was it a car accident or a motorcycle accident?

00:09:40.000 I think it was a motorcycle.

00:09:40.000 That's why his face is a little banged up.

00:09:43.000 Yeah.

00:09:43.000 Oh, interesting.

00:09:44.000 Pull it up! 0.91

00:09:45.000 I think it was a car accident, but yeah.

00:09:47.000 Oh, maybe it was a car.

00:09:49.000 Was it?

00:09:49.000 Yeah.

00:09:49.000 Ah, shit.

00:09:50.000 Yeah, he wrecked his face, right? 1.00

00:09:53.000 Like, you look different.

00:09:54.000 Oh, he looked real bad.

00:09:56.000 Look at Leno.

00:09:56.000 He looks great.

00:09:57.000 Jay Leno taking pictures with nurse staff.

00:10:00.000 You're like, I'm disformed.

00:10:02.000 How bad does it look?

00:10:04.000 How bad is Leno's scars?

00:10:05.000 He's fine.

00:10:05.000 He looks like an allergic reaction.

00:10:07.000 He's already on stage.

00:10:08.000 Yeah.

00:10:09.000 He was on stage at Comedy and Magic Club the other night.

00:10:11.000 Arsenio Hall tweeted about it.

00:10:13.000 I heard his set was fire.

00:10:15.000 I'll see myself out.

00:10:17.000 How old do you have to be where you can't say fire anymore?

00:10:19.000 Look at where he goes.

00:10:20.000 Oh, so he's got some, like, peeling skin.

00:10:22.000 Oh! 0.60

00:10:22.000 I thought that was Dolezal. 0.60

00:10:23.000 So that's him in the hospital with the peeling skin.

00:10:27.000 The denim!

00:10:28.000 What is with the denim?

00:10:29.000 And he's got every pocket full.

00:10:30.000 You know why? 0.99

00:10:30.000 That's a guy who literally doesn't give a fuck what he looks like. 0.99

00:10:34.000 You're telling me! 1.00

00:10:34.000 Cuts his hair. 1.00

00:10:35.000 He's never worked out a day in his life.

00:10:37.000 He just likes working on cars.

00:10:39.000 Full head of hair, though.

00:10:39.000 By the way, never been happier.

00:10:41.000 Great guy. 1.00

00:10:42.000 He's a fucking different human being, man. 0.99

00:10:44.000 Now that he's not on the show? 1.00

00:10:45.000 Yeah, man.

00:10:46.000 This is what he loves. 1.00

00:10:47.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:10:47.000 He was burnt up, man. 1.00

00:10:49.000 His hands were all fucked up. 1.00

00:10:50.000 His face all fucked up. 1.00

00:10:51.000 Oh, looks like a fucking addict. 1.00

00:10:53.000 He does. 1.00

00:10:54.000 He looks like a crazy homeless crack guy under a bridge. 0.99

00:10:59.000 He does look like Austin. 0.99

00:11:02.000 In the window, somebody's gotta put, come to Austin.

00:11:05.000 He fits in an LA skid row.

00:11:07.000 That guy has 11 warehouses filled with cars.

00:11:10.000 You've never seen anything like it in your life.

00:11:12.000 What a crazy thing to collect.

00:11:13.000 Like, that's gonna be your collection.

00:11:15.000 That's what he loves, though.

00:11:16.000 Automobiles.

00:11:17.000 That's why his show's so good.

00:11:18.000 It's like, everybody's got a thing that they really like. 1.00

00:11:21.000 And that guy, it's fucking cars. 0.99

00:11:22.000 If you go on his show, you go, oh, you should've been doing this the whole time. 1.00

00:11:27.000 Everybody would have had a completely different opinion of Jay Leno.

00:11:30.000 Because they thought he was this mild, sort of bland talk show host.

00:11:34.000 He was a very nice guy.

00:11:36.000 Good joke writer.

00:11:37.000 And you'd always hear legends about back in the day when he was a stand-up.

00:11:40.000 He was the murderer.

00:11:41.000 A lot of people said he was the second best comic behind Pryor.

00:11:44.000 Leto? 1.00

00:11:45.000 Everybody said he was a fucking straight-up killer. 1.00

00:11:48.000 And he always wanted that Tonight Show. 0.99

00:11:51.000 That was, in our, you know, before our time, well, my time, I'm the oldest, right?

00:11:56.000 So it's like, even before my time, what everybody wanted was that Tonight Show.

00:12:01.000 They wanted, if you could be the host of the Tonight Show, they knew that Johnny Carter, or Johnny...

00:12:07.000 Carson.

00:12:08.000 Carson.

00:12:08.000 Oh boy, dementia's kicking in.

00:12:10.000 Johnny Carson was the...

00:12:11.000 Senility.

00:12:12.000 He was the guy.

00:12:13.000 One day we'll kick in.

00:12:14.000 Right?

00:12:15.000 Yeah, it's a bummer.

00:12:16.000 Yeah, I'm 55. One day I'll be like 80, and it won't work so good.

00:12:19.000 It'll be a smooth transition.

00:12:20.000 It'll be nuts.

00:12:21.000 Pretty smart 80-year-olds on the podcast.

00:12:23.000 You know, I think you tend some people to get lucky.

00:12:26.000 I think it's a roll of the dice.

00:12:27.000 I smoke too much weed.

00:12:28.000 I'm not going to make it.

00:12:29.000 And you know once you get dementia, they'll be like, it's because you didn't take the vaccine.

00:12:33.000 They'll be waiting.

00:12:34.000 They'll be waiting.

00:12:35.000 Back in the 20s, you should have been boosted.

00:12:39.000 Hilarious.

00:12:40.000 But you can just keep talking about aliens and elk and no one will notice.

00:12:44.000 It'll go right in.

00:12:44.000 It's going to be better.

00:12:46.000 If it gets bad...

00:12:47.000 If you're talking about Sasquatch and aliens while you're dementia...

00:12:49.000 That's gold.

00:12:51.000 I met Sasquatch was on this show.

00:12:56.000 I've had guys on the show that said they saw Sasquatch.

00:12:59.000 There's a lot of flat earthers too.

00:13:01.000 It's weird how many flat earthers are.

00:13:02.000 There's a lot out there.

00:13:03.000 There's a lot out there.

00:13:04.000 Kyrie Irving was a well-known flat-earther.

00:13:07.000 Yeah, he was.

00:13:07.000 But he bailed on that.

00:13:08.000 That's why he should get a pass.

00:13:09.000 He should get a pass on any other theory he has.

00:13:11.000 It's like, guys, that's what he's into.

00:13:13.000 Wild stories.

00:13:14.000 Do you guys understand how crazy what he did was?

00:13:16.000 I talked about it already before in a podcast, but he posted a link to a video.

00:13:21.000 That's it.

00:13:22.000 Don't say this is awesome.

00:13:23.000 Didn't say this is terrible. 0.96

00:13:24.000 He got a five-game suspension, a bunch of other things, but the fucking video is still for sale on Amazon. 0.98

00:13:30.000 That's the thing. 0.98

00:13:31.000 No one cares that it's actually out.

00:13:32.000 It's not like it's hidden.

00:13:33.000 No one's upset that they're selling it on Amazon for $40. 0.99

00:13:39.000 It's all narrative shit. 0.99

00:13:40.000 It's all narrative. 1.00

00:13:41.000 They made a narrative that they don't look into it.

00:13:44.000 This is the narrative that's anti-Semitic.

00:13:45.000 This is the new thing.

00:13:46.000 The new thing is if someone is anti-Semitic, man, they just come for you.

00:13:49.000 This is the new thing.

00:13:50.000 This is the latest, like, clear, no suppression.

00:13:56.000 Yeah, they're not going to beat you up, but someone they know runs the media.

00:13:59.000 If there's a thing, though, like, there's a thing that's in the news.

00:14:02.000 You said it, brother.

00:14:03.000 There's a thing that's in the news you can't deviate from.

00:14:06.000 Right now, that thing is anti-Semitism. 1.00

00:14:09.000 If you express anti-Semitism, which, dude, it's like you hired him to say crazy shit. 1.00

00:14:15.000 Because if you think about it, the anti-Semitism comes out, all this fucking heat, Kanye gets canceled! 1.00

00:14:20.000 People are searching the word Jew. 0.99

00:14:22.000 Who would have thought they could cancel Kanye?

00:14:22.000 Who would have thought they could remove his position with Balenciaga and Adidas and all that stuff?

00:14:28.000 See Balenciaga? 0.94

00:14:29.000 Crazy.

00:14:30.000 But it's crazy. 0.99

00:14:31.000 But all this happens, and then you put out Jew. 1.00

00:14:34.000 It was amazing!

00:14:37.000 You and Ronnie Chang.

00:14:38.000 He came out during the Asian hate stuff.

00:14:40.000 He was pre-Asian hate.

00:14:41.000 They weren't really hating on Asians. 0.98

00:14:42.000 I still hate him.

00:14:44.000 Because Ronnie was big before the pandemic.

00:14:47.000 That's true.

00:14:48.000 That special was before the pandemic. 0.99

00:14:49.000 That's a great fucking special, by the way. 0.98

00:14:51.000 He's a funny guy. 0.99

00:14:52.000 He's a classic example.

00:14:53.000 Ronnie is a classic example of a guy who has his own personality on stage.

00:14:57.000 No one's doing what that guy's doing on stage.

00:14:59.000 The way he does it, it's one...

00:15:01.000 The anger with that accent. 1.00

00:15:02.000 And it's his personality.

00:15:03.000 Like, you get into his mind and his vibe, and he just takes you on a ride.

00:15:07.000 He really keeps it roost out there.

00:15:08.000 Ah! 1.00

00:15:10.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

00:15:12.000 Can I get that lighter? 1.00

00:15:13.000 Yep.

00:15:13.000 One, two, three, go.

00:15:15.000 Can we talk about Ari's change?

00:15:17.000 He's happy now.

00:15:19.000 I mean, you put this special, it's changing your life. 0.98

00:15:20.000 But that's when it was fucking him up. 0.98

00:15:22.000 You were such a little baby earlier. 1.00

00:15:25.000 Big nose.

00:15:26.000 I said, let me get my dog. 0.98

00:15:27.000 It's hard when everybody's doing well. 0.99

00:15:30.000 It's hard, and shit's not going well for you, it's hard. 0.98

00:15:33.000 It's going quite well now. 0.99

00:15:34.000 People haven't watched the intros, I'm very happy. 0.73

00:15:36.000 You're killing it! 1.00

00:15:37.000 You did it all the right way, too, and you took a bet on yourself, and you fucking won. 1.00

00:15:42.000 Four and a half million views in fucking less than a month. 0.98

00:15:45.000 That's amazing. 0.96

00:15:46.000 I told you it's gonna reach eight.

00:15:48.000 It's literally un-fucking-believable.

00:15:50.000 And it's about a niche topic. 0.68

00:15:52.000 Never thought that would happen.

00:15:52.000 About a group that people hate.

00:15:55.000 That's incredible.

00:15:56.000 No one saw this coming.

00:15:57.000 No one.

00:15:59.000 No one saw your success coming. 0.99

00:16:00.000 I mean, this is fucking unbelievable. 0.96

00:16:02.000 Yeah, people are like, how do you think it's going to do it? 0.98

00:16:03.000 I'm like, I don't know.

00:16:05.000 I thought 20k.

00:16:06.000 I thought there's no way.

00:16:08.000 I told him 8 million.

00:16:10.000 He told me 8 million.

00:16:10.000 I told him 6 million.

00:16:11.000 And he goes, no, I think 8. I'm like, you're missing the joke.

00:16:14.000 And now he's stuck.

00:16:15.000 I'm going, so guys, if you're watching, Just get it to six million and prove Joe Rogan wrong.

00:16:20.000 Everybody watch right now.

00:16:22.000 Joe doesn't believe it's six million.

00:16:23.000 Joe on YouTube.

00:16:25.000 Joe does not believe in the six million. 0.99

00:16:27.000 And black and gay were in there, by the way. 0.96

00:16:30.000 I didn't get the Holocaust joke until right now. 0.97

00:16:32.000 Really?

00:16:33.000 Literally.

00:16:33.000 I'm so done.

00:16:34.000 When you said just get it to six million, I'm like, ah, he's selling himself short.

00:16:38.000 I didn't really think he'd make it to eight.

00:16:39.000 I was so literal.

00:16:41.000 I texted him.

00:16:42.000 I was like, Joe, instead of...

00:16:43.000 Six weeks and eight million.

00:16:44.000 Why don't you reverse those?

00:16:45.000 He goes, no, I believe it'll be eight million.

00:16:46.000 I'm like, I said, Joe, pretend like you're a comedian for a second and look at my numbers.

00:16:50.000 I didn't get the reference.

00:16:53.000 I didn't get the reference.

00:16:55.000 You know Big Jay's old joke?

00:16:57.000 You know they have that bread, it's called a challah?

00:17:00.000 Yeah.

00:17:00.000 He's like, I used to go in the deli and go, how much does the challah cost?

00:17:04.000 Come on! 0.61

00:17:05.000 That's cute!

00:17:09.000 It's crazy how that's the topic du jour right now.

00:17:12.000 Yeah, we pick a group every couple months.

00:17:13.000 It is crazy.

00:17:14.000 Everyone has to change their Facebook avatar.

00:17:18.000 It's just this wave of groupthink that goes across the country.

00:17:23.000 I think white men are next.

00:17:24.000 We'll get some buzz.

00:17:26.000 No, probably not. 1.00

00:17:27.000 We're fucked. 1.00

00:17:29.000 We have plenty of advantages. 1.00

00:17:31.000 Just leave it at that. 1.00

00:17:32.000 Yeah, huge dicks. 1.00

00:17:33.000 It's like being a rich guy and wanting birthday presents. 1.00

00:17:36.000 Great dancers.

00:17:37.000 Can I say about Kanye West, though?

00:17:38.000 People don't take into account.

00:17:40.000 Spicy food.

00:17:40.000 Black Skinhead was one of the greatest songs of all time.

00:17:43.000 The beat that comes on at the beginning of that is so fucking good. 0.98

00:17:47.000 He's fucking sensational. 0.99

00:17:48.000 He's a talent. 0.99

00:17:49.000 Let's play some of that.

00:17:49.000 Play some Black Skinhead.

00:17:50.000 Just from second one.

00:17:52.000 Maybe Kanye can sue Spotify, get some money back.

00:17:54.000 Don't put up the long YouTube version, just the Spotify version.

00:17:58.000 Oh, there you go.

00:17:58.000 Yeah.

00:17:59.000 He's, I mean, look, he's a brilliant artist.

00:18:02.000 Brilliant artist.

00:18:03.000 Stay off Twitter.

00:18:03.000 He doesn't read, right?

00:18:05.000 That's part of the problem.

00:18:06.000 And also, he's...

00:18:08.000 Not a Jew. 1.00

00:18:09.000 He openly talks about it.

00:18:11.000 He doesn't read books.

00:18:12.000 But his style of talking is like his style of performance, which is so unbelievable, overpowering, stream of consciousness, beautiful lyric, bang, bang, bang.

00:18:22.000 But he was dominating it, right?

00:18:24.000 Well, he tries to do that with conversations.

00:18:26.000 And when you do that, you know as well as I do when you're just talking wild. 1.00

00:18:29.000 You say shit, and then you gotta like... 1.00

00:18:31.000 You go, what? 1.00

00:18:32.000 Do you defend it?

00:18:33.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:18:34.000 Do you double down?

00:18:34.000 You're not gonna back down.

00:18:35.000 Do you double down?

00:18:36.000 And maybe you're saying some stuff that you heard some other influential person say.

00:18:39.000 Right. 0.97

00:18:41.000 It's so fucking good. 0.95

00:18:42.000 Oh, is it all good? 0.97

00:18:42.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:18:43.000 Bro, he's got banger after banger.

00:18:45.000 Banger after banger.

00:18:46.000 All of his albums are legit.

00:18:48.000 All of them.

00:18:48.000 He's a concert on Amazon.

00:18:50.000 Watch it. 0.99

00:18:51.000 It's fucking incredible. 0.99

00:18:52.000 Easy, Kyrie. 0.98

00:18:53.000 When he had the whole Tron outfit, he's a real artist.

00:18:55.000 He just walked off the Tim Pool show.

00:18:58.000 Walked off the Tim Pool show.

00:19:00.000 They were talking about anti-Semitism and he just got up.

00:19:02.000 His squad's wild.

00:19:03.000 But why did he?

00:19:04.000 I don't understand what happened.

00:19:06.000 His squad is wild.

00:19:06.000 His squad?

00:19:07.000 His squad, dude.

00:19:08.000 It's him, Milo, and the other guy.

00:19:11.000 What?

00:19:12.000 They're together?

00:19:13.000 They're chilling, dude.

00:19:13.000 Tim Pool?

00:19:14.000 Whoa.

00:19:23.000 It's a fascinating turn of events.

00:19:26.000 This is a weird time. 0.99

00:19:27.000 It's the weirdest time ever because to see Kanye like now he's saying like they're freezing his bank accounts and the FBI wants 75 million from Don't fuck with us. 0.98

00:19:38.000 Who's the last guy? 0.90

00:19:39.000 The FBI froze 75 million and they say he owes 50, which is like, if he owes 50, why'd you free 75?

00:19:45.000 Interesting.

00:19:46.000 I don't understand any of it, but he's got to be still worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

00:19:52.000 When he said in the beginning, I'm going DEFCON or DEFCON, whatever, on the Jews, I'm positive, I'm firing my agents. 1.00

00:19:59.000 I'm positive that's what he meant.

00:20:00.000 I don't think that's what he meant.

00:20:02.000 I think it is. 1.00

00:20:02.000 I think he wants to kill you guys. 1.00

00:20:03.000 Look at that. 1.00

00:20:04.000 Well, he's not doing it.

00:20:05.000 Who's the twink on the left?

00:20:06.000 Is that Dan Bolger?

00:20:07.000 Who is that?

00:20:08.000 It looks like Dan Bolger.

00:20:09.000 That's the new booker for the Comedy Store.

00:20:12.000 Is that Milo?

00:20:13.000 No.

00:20:14.000 Yeah, it's Milo.

00:20:15.000 Is he reading the Torah?

00:20:16.000 He's reading the Bible.

00:20:17.000 He's got a Coke sprung up his nose.

00:20:19.000 Milo's straight now.

00:20:20.000 Milo's straight now.

00:20:21.000 He came back into the closet.

00:20:23.000 Is that true?

00:20:24.000 I think he prayed to God and he's straight. 0.97

00:20:26.000 Oh, and he's got his, uh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:20:28.000 That is true.

00:20:29.000 He's holding the Bible all the time. 1.00

00:20:30.000 He's got the fuck Ari hat. 1.00

00:20:33.000 That's gotta be a calendar. 1.00

00:20:35.000 He's like organized.

00:20:36.000 No, that's a Bible.

00:20:37.000 That's a Bible.

00:20:38.000 What?

00:20:38.000 You see the thing at the bottom?

00:20:40.000 That's how he stays straight.

00:20:41.000 That's how he stays straight.

00:20:42.000 Is that real?

00:20:43.000 Yeah.

00:20:44.000 Wow, Old Testament.

00:20:45.000 So is that for the photo? 0.98

00:20:47.000 I mean, Milo is a troll. 0.98

00:20:50.000 Milo is the troll. 0.96

00:20:51.000 He was a great, great, great troll back in his day.

00:20:55.000 And he was the first guy that removed him. 0.70

00:20:56.000 Everybody was happy.

00:20:57.000 Yeah, you gotta remove him. 0.99

00:20:59.000 And once you start doing shit like that, it just gets slippery and slippery. 0.96

00:21:04.000 And you just keep going further down the line. 0.95

00:21:06.000 What'd you say about ivermectin?

00:21:07.000 You're gone.

00:21:08.000 What'd you say about Ukraine?

00:21:10.000 You're gone.

00:21:10.000 What'd you say about this?

00:21:12.000 Get out of here.

00:21:13.000 He was the first one.

00:21:14.000 They took away his ability to make a living.

00:21:17.000 He was super popular, man.

00:21:20.000 These crypto guys are dying.

00:21:22.000 Well, isn't he Jewish? 1.00

00:21:23.000 What the fuck are you at? 1.00

00:21:24.000 Milo? 1.00

00:21:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:25.000 Is he?

00:21:26.000 No, Greek. 0.97

00:21:26.000 Yeah, he's a big green. 0.97

00:21:28.000 I thought he was Jewish. 0.99

00:21:28.000 Big Greek gay. 0.99

00:21:29.000 He's married to a black. 1.00

00:21:30.000 No, man. 1.00

00:21:31.000 Black man. 0.99

00:21:32.000 No more, he prayed. 0.95

00:21:34.000 Was he Christian?

00:21:35.000 He wasn't Jewish?

00:21:37.000 He's everything they should love.

00:21:40.000 It was an amazing place to be.

00:21:45.000 To be a gay conservative who's a witty guy, who's very funny.

00:21:49.000 Way to fill a void.

00:21:50.000 Are we talking Tim Dillon?

00:21:52.000 He would just go to college campuses and just anger people.

00:21:56.000 When Bill Maher had him on that show, he said to him, you remind me of Hitchens.

00:22:03.000 Wow.

00:22:04.000 And everybody's like, what is he saying?

00:22:06.000 It's true. 0.77

00:22:06.000 There was a moment where people were saying, like, this is this rabble-rouser, really smart, gay Republican guy who's hilarious. 0.77

00:22:14.000 He's for sure a rabble-rouser. 1.00

00:22:16.000 Roman Catholic, let's go. 1.00

00:22:17.000 Roman Catholic.

00:22:18.000 We're the best, dude.

00:22:19.000 Nice, congrats.

00:22:20.000 We got one.

00:22:21.000 Foreskin.

00:22:23.000 We're the best, dude.

00:22:24.000 You see these crypto guys are dying?

00:22:26.000 Joe Biden.

00:22:27.000 That's the second one that's died mysteriously.

00:22:29.000 Is that what's happening?

00:22:30.000 Yeah, so they're next.

00:22:31.000 They're taking out crypto guys?

00:22:32.000 Give it a goog, JMO. How about these people that put all that money in FTX and now they say that they hired someone to hunt this guy down to find him?

00:22:39.000 Oh boy.

00:22:40.000 I don't know what anything is.

00:22:41.000 Larry David's very confused.

00:22:43.000 You don't know what this FTX thing is?

00:22:44.000 I heard about it.

00:22:44.000 I have no idea what it is.

00:22:45.000 It's a channel. 0.99

00:22:48.000 It's where he used to have Louie before he showed his dick. 1.00

00:22:51.000 Crypto founder. 1.00

00:22:52.000 30!

00:22:54.000 Unexpected!

00:22:55.000 I mean, come on!

00:22:55.000 It's all coming to light.

00:22:57.000 What is the cause of death?

00:22:59.000 What's the cause of death?

00:23:00.000 He tried to be trafficked, didn't he?

00:23:02.000 Does it say why?

00:23:03.000 No, they won't let you know.

00:23:05.000 It's Epstein.

00:23:06.000 Died in his sleep.

00:23:07.000 Died in his sleep.

00:23:08.000 30-year-olds always died in his sleep. 1.00

00:23:10.000 Who the fuck dies in his sleep? 1.00

00:23:11.000 Look how healthy he looks, too. 1.00

00:23:12.000 He's hot.

00:23:13.000 Yeah, look, he's all thin and healthy.

00:23:15.000 Yeah.

00:23:16.000 30 years old, dies in his sleep.

00:23:17.000 Fentanyl?

00:23:18.000 You think maybe fentanyl?

00:23:18.000 There's a new one with the helicopter crash there.

00:23:21.000 It could be.

00:23:21.000 It certainly could be.

00:23:22.000 That's the kind of shit they cover up. 1.00

00:23:24.000 Fentanyl? 1.00

00:23:25.000 Nobody wants to say their kid died of a drug, so they just go, he died in his sleep.

00:23:28.000 We don't know.

00:23:28.000 Well, they've been actually, it's like the numbers are so high.

00:23:31.000 Yeah, but if you're a fucking billionaire, you're not dying of fentanyl. 0.99

00:23:34.000 Yeah, you are. 1.00

00:23:34.000 Yeah, you're getting high and you're going crazy. 1.00

00:23:36.000 Yeah, but they get good coke.

00:23:37.000 Yeah, usually, usually, but someone's like, I'm breaking it out of the glass pocket.

00:23:40.000 You're partying.

00:23:41.000 Look, look!

00:23:42.000 Another guy, Russian billionaire, the third top cryptocurrency trader to die suddenly in recent weeks.

00:23:48.000 You think that's a new wife or the original wife? 1.00

00:23:51.000 That's the up, 2.0.

00:23:52.000 That's a great wife. 1.00

00:23:53.000 That's the step up.

00:23:54.000 Very lovely lady. 1.00

00:23:55.000 Damn. 0.99

00:23:55.000 She looks good. 0.99

00:23:56.000 Hotter wife than Trump's. 0.99

00:23:57.000 Look at him. 1.00

00:23:58.000 He's a disaster. 1.00

00:23:59.000 He's fucking dead. 1.00

00:24:00.000 He's dead now. 1.00

00:24:01.000 Dunzo.

00:24:01.000 Kobe.

00:24:02.000 53 and barely hanging on with a bombshell.

00:24:05.000 I don't want to make fun of a guy for dying, dude.

00:24:07.000 I don't want to make fun of a guy for dying in a helicopter crash.

00:24:10.000 That would be uncouth.

00:24:12.000 Untoward.

00:24:12.000 Who died in a helicopter crash?

00:24:13.000 That guy did?

00:24:15.000 No, I thought he died suddenly.

00:24:17.000 No, this other guy was helicopter crash.

00:24:18.000 Helicopter crash pretty quick.

00:24:20.000 He was a helicopter crash?

00:24:21.000 He'll crawl out of that.

00:24:23.000 I liked you when you were depressed.

00:24:24.000 Now you don't return calls.

00:24:26.000 You don't return calls.

00:24:28.000 My ratio of blues to whites in that thread is staggering. 1.00

00:24:31.000 Fuck that, dude. 1.00

00:24:32.000 Blues to whites. 1.00

00:24:33.000 Whites always win. 1.00

00:24:34.000 You don't use the dark screen for your text messages? 0.99

00:24:37.000 What are you, a savage?

00:24:37.000 What's a dark screen?

00:24:38.000 We can go dark mode.

00:24:40.000 What does that mean?

00:24:41.000 Blackface? 0.85

00:24:41.000 So that means when your texts show up, they look cool. 0.85

00:24:43.000 Like, look, here's when you send me a text, I'll show what it looks like.

00:24:49.000 Dark mode.

00:24:50.000 Like that.

00:24:51.000 Yeah, but look at your blues.

00:24:52.000 Yeah, blues, but it's still white text.

00:24:55.000 Blues to black.

00:24:56.000 Interesting.

00:24:57.000 Yeah, it's like a dark gray.

00:24:58.000 That's cool.

00:24:59.000 That's exciting.

00:24:59.000 Better.

00:25:00.000 It's better.

00:25:01.000 I can't wait to get drunk and turn this thing up.

00:25:04.000 We're getting lit up already.

00:25:06.000 You know what?

00:25:06.000 We had a hard workout last night.

00:25:08.000 We all got a little excited.

00:25:10.000 We got a little lit up.

00:25:11.000 I didn't even realize it.

00:25:12.000 I know.

00:25:13.000 I got excited.

00:25:14.000 I was like, the band's back.

00:25:16.000 Yeah, baby! 1.00

00:25:17.000 You know what's a fun thing to do when you're listening to this podcast is click forward in two hours.

00:25:21.000 Yeah, I would always say.

00:25:22.000 It's really funny to listen to the beginning and then just click two hours in.

00:25:26.000 It's like, put on R, Kelly!

00:25:28.000 Put on R! Just to tell you what this FTX thing is, they had this cryptocurrency, and then they had this thing called tokens.

00:25:38.000 It's very difficult to explain all of it.

00:25:40.000 But the tokens weren't really backed up by anything.

00:25:44.000 It's basically a Ponzi scheme. 0.93

00:25:46.000 Well, this guy was in competition with another guy who ran another cryptocurrency exchange, and this guy decided to fuck that guy and dump all of his tokens.

00:25:57.000 So he sold all of his tokens, crashed the market, and then people started trying to pull their money out, and they realized there's not enough money.

00:26:04.000 The whole thing falls apart.

00:26:05.000 This is a very meathead, non-economist version of it, and I apologize for being uneducated about this.

00:26:13.000 But that's what happened. 0.97

00:26:14.000 And so this guy went from being worth billions of dollars to like fucking nothing, like instantly, like within a week. 0.83

00:26:21.000 And now some Bitcoin people who lost a shitload of money because billions of dollars are lost. 0.91

00:26:27.000 Not only that, billions are missing.

00:26:29.000 Uh-oh.

00:26:30.000 There's billions that they can't account for.

00:26:31.000 I gotta check my Coinbase app.

00:26:32.000 I used to have some money in here.

00:26:34.000 Also, some of it got moved to another company.

00:26:36.000 You could just crash everybody's currency like that.

00:26:39.000 Well, this is not real currency.

00:26:41.000 This is the point of all this.

00:26:43.000 Like George Soros.

00:26:43.000 I had Giannis on, and Giannis was like, they're making it out of thin air, and then it goes away.

00:26:47.000 Of course it fucking went away.

00:26:48.000 It's not based on anything. 1.00

00:26:50.000 But people are using it to buy shit. 1.00

00:26:51.000 Yes! 1.00

00:26:52.000 But the dollar's not based on gold anymore or anything, right?

00:26:54.000 Right.

00:26:54.000 But everybody has to agree.

00:26:56.000 Everyone has to agree.

00:26:56.000 And no one's agreeing with this.

00:26:58.000 Like, Bitcoin is a stable one.

00:27:01.000 What else is stable?

00:27:02.000 Ethereum?

00:27:02.000 US dollar?

00:27:02.000 Yeah, but this still is like...

00:27:04.000 This is more financial fuckery than it is... 0.93

00:27:06.000 Oh, Ethereum's going up. 0.98

00:27:06.000 Oh, alright. 0.98

00:27:07.000 I got some of that. 0.99

00:27:07.000 Crypto fuckery. 0.99

00:27:08.000 Right. 1.00

00:27:08.000 It's more Bernie Madoff type Ponzi scheme shit... 1.00

00:27:11.000 I'm ruined. 1.00

00:27:12.000 ...than it is...

00:27:13.000 I'm absolutely ruined.

00:27:14.000 I lost about 90% of mine.

00:27:17.000 It's like if anybody can have a crypto, you can all make a crypto coin.

00:27:22.000 Well, then we got a whole weird situation.

00:27:25.000 It's not like now we have Bitcoin.

00:27:27.000 Oh, let's all use Bitcoin.

00:27:28.000 It's decentralized.

00:27:29.000 That makes sense.

00:27:30.000 But then now you have how many coins are there?

00:27:32.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:27:32.000 It was Bitcoin.

00:27:33.000 Now it's like Topps when Topps was the only trading card in town.

00:27:36.000 And then Don Riss and Fleer came in and was like, none of this is worth anything.

00:27:39.000 Those are way up, by the way.

00:27:40.000 Tops?

00:27:41.000 Yeah, we want tangible now. 0.99

00:27:42.000 Because everything in NFT and all that horse shit. 0.97

00:27:44.000 Let's do it. 1.00

00:27:45.000 Fucking trading cards are up? 0.99

00:27:46.000 They're huge. 1.00

00:27:46.000 Has the NFT really? 1.00

00:27:48.000 Huge.

00:27:48.000 The NFT thing made zero sense to me.

00:27:50.000 Made no sense.

00:27:51.000 Died in a helicopter.

00:27:52.000 It's not a real.

00:27:53.000 What made sense is like that Beeple thing that he made for us. 1.00

00:27:56.000 But that's not Ed.

00:27:57.000 But that's art.

00:27:58.000 That's a piece of art.

00:27:58.000 Actual art.

00:27:59.000 It's something there.

00:27:59.000 And it is.

00:28:00.000 You own it as an NFT if you got an NFT wallet.

00:28:03.000 It's still happening.

00:28:04.000 Even during all this crash.

00:28:05.000 Big stuff happening.

00:28:07.000 Say that again, Jamie?

00:28:09.000 During all this, Nike's launched a platform to sell some sort of NFT stuff.

00:28:13.000 It's still going strong.

00:28:14.000 Yeah, it's still happening.

00:28:16.000 Who's buying them? 0.97

00:28:17.000 Dorks. 1.00

00:28:18.000 Fucking idiots. 1.00

00:28:19.000 Twinks. 1.00

00:28:20.000 They were never really supposed to be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.

00:28:23.000 That's kind of the thing.

00:28:26.000 It's supposed to be a useful thing.

00:28:29.000 Didn't you, Gonzo, make like a million dollars?

00:28:32.000 Sure.

00:28:32.000 There's a lot of people that made a bunch of money because there was a hype that people thought they could make, like Beanie Baby Run.

00:28:36.000 They thought they could make money off of this.

00:28:38.000 Pet rocks.

00:28:38.000 Anyone who was just greedy wanted to make money, but it's not necessarily the use that they were supposed to have.

00:28:42.000 Got it.

00:28:43.000 So the use they were supposed to have was just to make it so that someone has the intellectual rights to digital property.

00:28:48.000 And they could make money off of it if it was sold later.

00:28:49.000 It is a good way to protect artists.

00:28:52.000 And they have this in the UK. If you resell a painting, the artist gets paid again.

00:28:56.000 You can't sell something for 30 grand, have it sold seven years later for 200 million, and you're like, I get nothing?

00:29:00.000 That's good.

00:29:01.000 I like that.

00:29:02.000 Yeah, Beanie Babies went through the shitter, too.

00:29:05.000 They did.

00:29:06.000 I wonder if they changed insurance on paintings.

00:29:08.000 You did great financial advice.

00:29:09.000 I saw the doc on it.

00:29:09.000 Trading cards, Beanie Babies.

00:29:11.000 What are you, a 5th grader?

00:29:14.000 Mark Norwood's my money guy. 1.00

00:29:15.000 He's like, ah, fucking Beanie Babies are tanking. 0.99

00:29:17.000 You want to find some Pokemon? 1.00

00:29:18.000 I gotcha.

00:29:19.000 What is that?

00:29:22.000 Woah! 0.99

00:29:22.000 Mushrooms? 0.99

00:29:22.000 Bag of Mushrooms? 0.99

00:29:23.000 J-Mo! 0.97

00:29:25.000 What were we just saying?

00:29:26.000 Beanie Babies? 0.89

00:29:27.000 Anti-Semites?

00:29:28.000 No, no, no, no.

00:29:30.000 Ari's?

00:29:30.000 A diva?

00:29:31.000 Shit. 1.00

00:29:32.000 I used to love Beanie Babies when I was a kid. 1.00

00:29:34.000 I was a gay kid.

00:29:36.000 Protecting artists?

00:29:37.000 Really? 0.97

00:29:37.000 Gay kid. 0.97

00:29:38.000 It was like one of the last things I liked that was gay. 1.00

00:29:40.000 That is gay. 1.00

00:29:41.000 I was like old for liking Beanie Babies. 0.97

00:29:43.000 That was weird.

00:29:44.000 You liked Beanie Babies?

00:29:45.000 How old were you?

00:29:45.000 I could never buy them.

00:29:46.000 I never got them.

00:29:47.000 My friends had a bunch of them.

00:29:48.000 How old were you?

00:29:49.000 He stole them.

00:29:50.000 20?

00:29:50.000 5th?

00:29:51.000 6th grade?

00:29:52.000 6th grade?

00:29:53.000 That's way too old.

00:29:54.000 I never had him.

00:29:56.000 I would go to my friend's house and he had cool baby babies.

00:29:58.000 Makes sense though.

00:29:58.000 Who's his friend?

00:29:59.000 Milo?

00:30:00.000 What? 1.00

00:30:01.000 Shut up. 1.00

00:30:04.000 It's a weird thing to keep as a 17 year old. 1.00

00:30:06.000 He was a 5th grader.

00:30:07.000 It was weird the same age.

00:30:08.000 Is he special needs?

00:30:10.000 No.

00:30:10.000 Alright.

00:30:11.000 Dude, what are you talking about?

00:30:12.000 Beanie Babies were all the rage. 0.98

00:30:14.000 Not amongst boys.

00:30:16.000 Not amongst boys as much.

00:30:17.000 I don't really think they really were.

00:30:18.000 I liked the cool Beanie Babies, dude.

00:30:19.000 I'm not going to back down from this.

00:30:20.000 What was the coolest one?

00:30:21.000 What was your top collection?

00:30:21.000 It was a black bear.

00:30:22.000 Shut up! 1.00

00:30:23.000 A black bear. 1.00

00:30:24.000 That's fun.

00:30:25.000 Jamie, bring up the black bear Beanie Baby for me.

00:30:27.000 Boys could have dolls. 0.99

00:30:28.000 Tell me this thing is fucking cool, dude. 0.98

00:30:30.000 Boys could have dolls, but they had to be action figures. 0.98

00:30:32.000 That's right.

00:30:33.000 They had to inflict damage on people.

00:30:34.000 Yeah.

00:30:35.000 Yeah.

00:30:36.000 They had a G.I. Joe with the Kung Fu grip.

00:30:37.000 That's a good bear.

00:30:39.000 That is cute.

00:30:40.000 Cute little bear.

00:30:40.000 You tell me you don't want that guy?

00:30:42.000 That's just a fucking stuffed animal. 1.00

00:30:43.000 That's fun. 1.00

00:30:44.000 It's a beanie baby.

00:30:45.000 They're Asian, right? 0.85

00:30:46.000 When you were fifth grade, they had what? 1.00

00:30:47.000 Like, fucking wooden horses? 0.99

00:30:49.000 We had small Tauras. 1.00

00:30:51.000 In your fucking village. 1.00

00:30:52.000 I got a dreidel. 1.00

00:30:53.000 Out of season dreidels.

00:30:56.000 Who do you think read more religious texts? 0.69

00:30:59.000 You during your prime or Milo trying to fight off the gay? 0.64

00:31:03.000 That's a good question.

00:31:04.000 I bet he's reading that same page over and over again.

00:31:06.000 He just can't get it?

00:31:08.000 What?

00:31:08.000 Now what?

00:31:09.000 You read a lot of religious stuff?

00:31:11.000 He was orthodox.

00:31:12.000 I was headed a certain way.

00:31:14.000 Jesus Christ.

00:31:14.000 All I did was study all day.

00:31:16.000 Damn. 1.00

00:31:16.000 Yeshiva, day and night. 1.00

00:31:17.000 It didn't pay off though.

00:31:19.000 How long did it last?

00:31:21.000 Two solid years in Yeshiv.

00:31:23.000 Ex-gay Milo dramatically interprets Bible verses from Anti-LGBT Network's audiobook.

00:31:29.000 Oh, is he doing an album? 0.99

00:31:30.000 Boy, he still looks gay though, right? 1.00

00:31:32.000 He does look quite gay. 0.97

00:31:33.000 It's almost like you can't pray it away. 0.98

00:31:36.000 Well, it's like you.

00:31:37.000 You're never going to get rid of that face. 0.92

00:31:39.000 I mean, you're stuck with the Jew forever. 1.00

00:31:41.000 Yeah, I got the beak. 0.95

00:31:42.000 Yeah, you got propaganda face.

00:31:44.000 My special should be in 3D. Those pray the gay away things are always a bunch of gay guys, like hugging you from behind, getting boners, telling you you can fight it off. 1.00

00:31:56.000 That's what it is. 0.98

00:31:57.000 I read a whole story on that once where this guy infiltrated one of them to pray the gay things away, and he's like, what is going on here? 1.00

00:32:05.000 And he did a behind-the-scenes reporter thing, and this guy was hugging him, and he had a boner pressed against his back.

00:32:11.000 Because when you think about it, who's at an anti-gay camp? 0.99

00:32:14.000 All gays! 0.99

00:32:16.000 It's Chelsea!

00:32:18.000 Was it Bruno that went and did Ali G as Bruno?

00:32:23.000 He went to, I think, a pray-a-way.

00:32:25.000 That sounds like Bruno.

00:32:26.000 Really?

00:32:27.000 It's so crazy that they still do that.

00:32:30.000 He's the best.

00:32:30.000 They tell you you should just pray it away.

00:32:32.000 Yeah, why would you... 0.92

00:32:33.000 I mean, gay is good. 0.98

00:32:34.000 I would love to be gay.

00:32:36.000 Dude, it's one of the weirdest conversations I've ever had with people. 0.81

00:32:38.000 I've had a couple of them on here where I talk about gay stuff and, like, gay rights.

00:32:42.000 And I'm like, well, what do you expect a person to do if they're gay?

00:32:44.000 Well, there's a lot of things that you, you know, want to do that are sins.

00:32:49.000 I was like, so do you think that people are actually gay?

00:32:52.000 Do you think it's a choice?

00:32:53.000 A lot of people think it's a choice. 0.74

00:32:55.000 I'm like, this is just religious nonsense. 0.99

00:32:58.000 You really don't know any gay guys. 0.98

00:33:01.000 They're gay, and they're like us. 1.00

00:33:03.000 They're like us, but they want to fuck guys. 1.00

00:33:05.000 They're lying. 1.00

00:33:06.000 About being bi?

00:33:08.000 No, I'm Trump.

00:33:10.000 I want to see who would agree.

00:33:11.000 Yeah, this guy's great.

00:33:13.000 If you see Mateo Lane, you're not like, fight it.

00:33:18.000 You're gone.

00:33:19.000 You're lost.

00:33:19.000 Own it.

00:33:20.000 You're lost. 1.00

00:33:21.000 It's funny to want guys to fuck chicks. 1.00

00:33:23.000 It's funny to want that, to see Mateo and be like, damn, I wish you were fucking pussies. 1.00

00:33:28.000 I like you, man. 1.00

00:33:29.000 I wish you were fucking girls. 1.00

00:33:30.000 You want him on that side. 1.00

00:33:31.000 Imagine Richard Simmons saying, no, you got it wrong, Richard.

00:33:35.000 You're not gay. 0.86

00:33:36.000 Oh, okay.

00:33:37.000 Imagine. 1.00

00:33:37.000 It is weird, though, just because you're like a dick. 1.00

00:33:39.000 You have to talk differently? 1.00

00:33:41.000 That's strange.

00:33:42.000 You don't have to.

00:33:42.000 The lisp is odd.

00:33:44.000 It's odd.

00:33:45.000 There's a lot of guys who don't.

00:33:46.000 Josh Zeps, my friend Josh Zeps.

00:33:49.000 Tim Dillon.

00:33:49.000 You never know.

00:33:50.000 A lot of guys are just like regular guys. 0.96

00:33:52.000 They're just gay. 1.00

00:33:53.000 And that's why it's nonsense to tell people that they can't do it. 0.99

00:33:57.000 They can't do what? 0.99

00:33:58.000 They can't be gay. 1.00

00:33:59.000 Or they can't get married.

00:34:01.000 That's weird. 1.00

00:34:02.000 It's so fucking stupid. 1.00

00:34:03.000 And they want to say a marriage is only for procreation. 1.00

00:34:05.000 Says who? 0.65

00:34:05.000 It's a made up thing. 0.65

00:34:06.000 But then you go like, what about people who are barren? 0.95

00:34:10.000 Exactly.

00:34:11.000 I watched that conversation.

00:34:13.000 He said that before. 1.00

00:34:14.000 You watch it, you fucking thief. 1.00

00:34:17.000 He doesn't watch anything that's not him. 1.00

00:34:19.000 What are you talking about?

00:34:22.000 He's too high on himself. 1.00

00:34:24.000 He doesn't take a fucking bait anymore. 0.99

00:34:27.000 Last time I made fun of him, he was like, Now he's like, yeah man. 0.99

00:34:31.000 Next time he's gonna be wearing a Rolex. 0.99

00:34:33.000 I should come in with a robe with that fucking leader of the world robe. 0.99

00:34:36.000 One YouTube special. 1.00

00:34:37.000 You've changed.

00:34:38.000 He's gonna have a Rolex.

00:34:39.000 You don't even protect parks anymore.

00:34:40.000 I don't.

00:34:41.000 Oh, you should see my park. 1.00

00:34:42.000 You're a goddamn Republican now. 1.00

00:34:43.000 Third rape happened at the park we didn't protect. 1.00

00:34:46.000 What? 0.99

00:34:47.000 This is a dark fucking under construction place now. 0.99

00:34:49.000 So it's just construction. 0.99

00:34:51.000 The park is gone. 0.80

00:34:52.000 It's a rape haven. 1.00

00:34:52.000 If you're a rapist, head on down to the Eastern Park. 1.00

00:34:55.000 No, no, no, no. 1.00

00:34:56.000 Also, what are you wearing under that?

00:34:57.000 You've got something plain.

00:34:58.000 You've got multiple layers.

00:35:00.000 How many layers of clothes do you have?

00:35:02.000 There's something underneath this.

00:35:03.000 Just a shirt I found at a thrift store, guys.

00:35:05.000 I don't know. 0.97

00:35:05.000 Better not be a Jew star. 0.97

00:35:07.000 What is this? 0.96

00:35:07.000 What is it? 0.96

00:35:09.000 Just a shirt I found at a thrift store.

00:35:10.000 Sorry, America.

00:35:12.000 America is full.

00:35:14.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:35:15.000 It's Trump.

00:35:16.000 Oh my god, with a bathrobe and a beer.

00:35:19.000 He's got a tip hanging out.

00:35:20.000 Shitter's full.

00:35:21.000 Where did you get that?

00:35:22.000 That's amazing.

00:35:23.000 Guess where I got it.

00:35:24.000 Where?

00:35:25.000 Mexico.

00:35:26.000 That's amazing. 1.00

00:35:27.000 Damn. 0.99

00:35:28.000 It's the greatest shirt ever made. 1.00

00:35:30.000 That's a great shirt.

00:35:31.000 It's in front of the print.

00:35:32.000 It fits like a glove.

00:35:34.000 Oh yeah.

00:35:34.000 I was wondering why you dress like that.

00:35:35.000 If I was buying that, my wife would be like, don't. 0.99

00:35:38.000 Don't buy that.

00:35:39.000 You're not wearing that.

00:35:40.000 I was gonna buy it for a liberal friend, and then I'm like, it's true.

00:35:42.000 I can wear it too. 0.95

00:35:43.000 This is so fucking fun and ironic. 0.97

00:35:45.000 It's so good. 1.00

00:35:46.000 You're gonna fuck up a Christmas party in Brooklyn. 0.99

00:35:48.000 Sorry, America's full. 0.99

00:35:49.000 600 pesos.

00:35:50.000 Isn't it funny how they have him in a bathrobe with a beer, but Trump is always wearing a suit, and he doesn't even drink?

00:35:56.000 He doesn't drink.

00:35:56.000 Thank God, he doesn't drink.

00:35:57.000 Oh, that's it. 1.00

00:35:59.000 Shit is full. 1.00

00:36:00.000 Oh, it's basically that. 1.00

00:36:02.000 Oh, it is that. 1.00

00:36:03.000 Shit is full. 1.00

00:36:05.000 Great movie. 1.00

00:36:06.000 Oh, that's even better.

00:36:09.000 Is he holding a hose as well?

00:36:11.000 No, it's the shitter hose.

00:36:12.000 Yeah, but is he holding it?

00:36:13.000 I didn't know what it was until your guys told me.

00:36:17.000 I was like, what's the second level?

00:36:19.000 Hilarious.

00:36:20.000 That's from Christmas Vacation, right?

00:36:22.000 Made in Mexico. 1.00

00:36:23.000 What a great fucking movie that was. 1.00

00:36:25.000 That movie holds up. 0.99

00:36:27.000 All of them do.

00:36:28.000 It's like a time machine, though.

00:36:29.000 It's like you couldn't even make a movie like that anymore.

00:36:31.000 No.

00:36:32.000 Just the way people behaved with each other and...

00:36:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:36:36.000 But that guy was great, Hughes.

00:36:38.000 Oh, man.

00:36:39.000 I mean, you go to 2013 and movies are nuts.

00:36:42.000 Isn't he batshit now? 0.72

00:36:45.000 Yeah, he went crazy. 0.92

00:36:46.000 Yeah, he went a little rowdy.

00:36:48.000 He got a little rowdy.

00:36:49.000 He got interneted.

00:36:51.000 Is that what happened?

00:36:52.000 Yeah, he kept talking to people who don't know him. 0.84

00:36:54.000 He went nuts.

00:36:55.000 But I thought it was like some wacky conspiracies.

00:36:58.000 Yeah, but he went deeper because everyone was like, you're wrong. 1.00

00:37:00.000 He was like, fuck you! 1.00

00:37:01.000 Oh, they started arguing with him? 1.00

00:37:02.000 Is that what he looks like now?

00:37:03.000 Is that David Letterman?

00:37:04.000 He looks cool.

00:37:05.000 That looks like a guy I'd have on my podcast talking about aliens.

00:37:08.000 It's like a Duck Dynasty or something.

00:37:10.000 He'd be a guy, well, there's nine specific kinds of aliens that we've identified.

00:37:15.000 Directly at a star. 0.98

00:37:17.000 How the fuck did that happen? 0.99

00:37:18.000 Those guys always go too far. 0.99

00:37:19.000 They start off at a way deeper place, and you're like, well, don't get me started on Gritrothi.

00:37:23.000 And you're like, I don't know what you're talking about.

00:37:24.000 What are you doing?

00:37:25.000 Randy Quaid taking into custody in Vermont, trying to cross the border into Canada.

00:37:29.000 That was 2015. Free Quaid.

00:37:32.000 Free Quaid.

00:37:34.000 Free my man Quaid.

00:37:35.000 He was a funny guy, though, man.

00:37:37.000 Yeah, he was great in that movie.

00:37:38.000 Really funny in movies.

00:37:40.000 Cousin Eddie. 0.98

00:37:41.000 That's fucking me up. 0.98

00:37:42.000 I couldn't remember his name in that. 0.98

00:37:43.000 Did you see what Jim Carrey just left Twitter and left the craziest note?

00:37:48.000 Why don't they ever just leave?

00:37:50.000 They always have to say to everybody, because they're still in the system.

00:37:52.000 They always have to say to everybody, look at me, I'm leaving.

00:37:54.000 What did he say?

00:37:56.000 I don't know.

00:37:56.000 Jim will find it.

00:37:57.000 Sam Harris left, too.

00:37:59.000 That's Jim Carrey?

00:38:00.000 Randy Quaid appalled Biden called him a Neanderthal.

00:38:04.000 Take out the most Neanderthal looking picture for this.

00:38:08.000 How did Biden get out the word Neanderthal?

00:38:10.000 I don't believe it.

00:38:11.000 As a native Texas appalled that our president called me a Neanderthal, 23andMe is verified I have no Neanderthal ancestry in my genetic code.

00:38:19.000 Take it seriously!

00:38:20.000 Not to say Neanderthal lives don't matter, just saying a lot of us Texans have grounds for a class action suit. 0.99

00:38:27.000 What a psycho. 0.96

00:38:28.000 He rules. 0.98

00:38:29.000 He's a fun guy.

00:38:29.000 That's funny.

00:38:30.000 He's a Texan?

00:38:31.000 As a Texan, am I appalled?

00:38:34.000 I think Biden probably called Texans Neanderthals.

00:38:37.000 I think we need to stuff Randy up with some mushrooms and bring him in for a podcast.

00:38:40.000 Get him on here.

00:38:41.000 Oh, look at those glasses. 0.84

00:38:42.000 Look at them.

00:38:43.000 My plate's going wild, dude.

00:38:44.000 Those are nice.

00:38:45.000 Good looking dog. 1.00

00:38:46.000 Nice bitch. 1.00

00:38:47.000 There you go. 1.00

00:38:49.000 Kingpin was gold.

00:38:50.000 Kingpin was gold.

00:38:51.000 I just saw that again.

00:38:54.000 He's so good.

00:38:55.000 They're all so good in it.

00:38:57.000 Imagine trying to make a movie like that today.

00:38:59.000 Farrelly Brothers, yeah, with the Amish. 1.00

00:39:01.000 They were at the top of the game for a while.

00:39:03.000 So here he says...

00:39:04.000 I'm leaving Twitter, but first here's a cartoon I made with my friend Jimmy Hayward.

00:39:08.000 It's based on my painting of a crazy old lighthouse keeper standing naked in a storm, summoning the angels and shining his lamp to guide us through a treacherous night.

00:39:18.000 I love you all so much.

00:39:20.000 Oy vey.

00:39:21.000 What?

00:39:21.000 Okay, so he posts this thing which is like a lighthouse with like crazy lights and then it's a naked guy but you don't see his dong.

00:39:35.000 Seems healthy.

00:39:43.000 Got the middle finger up.

00:39:46.000 Oh, yeah.

00:39:47.000 Let's do the soup file.

00:39:50.000 Looks like McGregor now.

00:39:57.000 Alright. 1.00

00:39:58.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:39:59.000 Good way to go out there, Kerry. 1.00

00:40:00.000 That's a funny way to go out, actually.

00:40:02.000 He never really tweets again.

00:40:03.000 Just that?

00:40:04.000 It's so bizarre.

00:40:05.000 So bizarre.

00:40:06.000 I love you all.

00:40:07.000 Here's this weird cartoon of a naked guy screaming in the rain.

00:40:10.000 Maybe we should edit that.

00:40:10.000 Let's get some of these beanie babies going again.

00:40:13.000 Let's fire this by, guys.

00:40:15.000 Let's start over.

00:40:16.000 Here we go.

00:40:16.000 Yeah.

00:40:17.000 Fire it up, dude.

00:40:19.000 I have every Star Wars action figure.

00:40:21.000 That's pretty sick.

00:40:22.000 No, he doesn't.

00:40:23.000 I do.

00:40:23.000 I really do.

00:40:24.000 Boba Fett was a big one for me.

00:40:25.000 That was a hot item.

00:40:26.000 Yeah.

00:40:28.000 Use the real lighter. 1.00

00:40:29.000 That one's a bitch-ass lighter. 0.99

00:40:33.000 You see the thing I was saying about the monks? 1.00

00:40:35.000 Yeah, crazy. 0.80

00:40:36.000 They kicked all these monks out of the monastery because they were all high on meth.

00:40:45.000 There's always something.

00:40:46.000 Every monk in the Thai temple defrocked after testing positive for meth.

00:40:51.000 Every monk.

00:40:52.000 Look at her.

00:40:52.000 She's got a mask on.

00:40:54.000 Outside.

00:40:55.000 That's a ton of meth!

00:40:58.000 That's monk meth?

00:40:59.000 I want to try that meth.

00:41:00.000 They're going off.

00:41:01.000 The brown, the white, the green.

00:41:03.000 It's beautiful.

00:41:03.000 They never talk.

00:41:04.000 That's gotta be the hardest thing in the world.

00:41:06.000 They have a mouth of silence on meth.

00:41:07.000 They're meditating. 1.00

00:41:08.000 They were trying to, like, figure out how to meditate longer, and, well, we need some amphetamines up in this bitch. 1.00

00:41:13.000 But how do you not have a convo? 0.99

00:41:15.000 You ever done meth?

00:41:16.000 No.

00:41:16.000 No one shuts up.

00:41:17.000 Jamie, can you bring it...

00:41:18.000 What is it?

00:41:19.000 50 cents a pill.

00:41:20.000 That's 50 cents a meth pill.

00:41:21.000 It only costs 50 cents a pill.

00:41:22.000 50 cents is nothing.

00:41:23.000 Wow.

00:41:23.000 I can get that cheaper in Mexico.

00:41:25.000 Yaba.

00:41:26.000 Sell for less than 50 cents.

00:41:28.000 Meth in Yaba can easily be found in every corner of Thailand.

00:41:32.000 Supply is up everywhere, and at this point, a tablet is cheaper than a beer, UNDOC's Jeffrey Douglas told Thai Inquirer.

00:41:41.000 Good time out there.

00:41:42.000 Last month, Hong Kong reportedly made its biggest ever seizure of meth, finding 1.8 metric tons of liquid meth hidden in cartons of coconut water en route for Australia.

00:41:53.000 Right.

00:41:54.000 How do they know? 0.89

00:41:56.000 Someone's a rat.

00:41:58.000 Authorities in August found two tons of meth hidden in marble tiles shipped from the Middle East to Sydney in what police describe as the largest ever seizure of illicit drugs in Australia.

00:42:09.000 Also in August, Mexican soldiers seized almost 1.5 tons of meth and 328 pounds of apparent powdered fentanyl at a checkpoint in the northern state of Sonora. 0.99

00:42:22.000 Did you know I'm a fucking 328 pounds of... 1.00

00:42:24.000 That'll kill everyone on this fucking planet. 1.00

00:42:26.000 I know, and meth makes you horny, so they must have been really plowing in the temple. 1.00

00:42:30.000 In July, more than 5,000 pounds of meth was found in a record-breaking seizure in Southern California.

00:42:36.000 Go back to the girl, like, in the top of the video, with her wearing that mask.

00:42:40.000 I don't even think she's outside.

00:42:42.000 I think she was outside.

00:42:43.000 No.

00:42:44.000 Greeny.

00:42:46.000 That's why she's wearing a mask. 0.99

00:42:47.000 It's just the light.

00:42:47.000 Just click on that.

00:42:48.000 Pause.

00:42:49.000 How old is this?

00:42:50.000 We're going to look at this in the future.

00:42:52.000 How old is this?

00:42:53.000 Last week.

00:42:54.000 No.

00:42:54.000 Yes.

00:42:55.000 2022. Why are they still doing the masks?

00:42:57.000 No, this week.

00:42:58.000 Excuse me. 0.94

00:42:58.000 Because they're crazy. 0.94

00:42:59.000 This back of my special is only at 4.1 million.

00:43:02.000 I've said it before.

00:43:03.000 I'll say it again. 1.00

00:43:04.000 That mask is a fucking Democrats MAGA hat. 1.00

00:43:06.000 That's what they're doing. 1.00

00:43:07.000 Interesting.

00:43:08.000 The fact that she thinks she needs to wear the... 0.85

00:43:10.000 For sure that lady is boosted and tested and they're working on a television show. 0.97

00:43:14.000 I'd give her a boost. 0.71

00:43:14.000 I bet you would. 0.71

00:43:15.000 Very attractive.

00:43:16.000 I'd give her a Johnson and Spall's.

00:43:19.000 A little blood clot.

00:43:19.000 There's gonna be videos that we look at in the future.

00:43:22.000 There's gonna be videos that we look at in the future that we're gonna hear the mouth behind. 0.99

00:43:28.000 We're gonna go, what the fuck? 0.98

00:43:29.000 That time and place. 0.99

00:43:30.000 It'll really mark a time.

00:43:31.000 Is she L.A.? Oh yeah.

00:43:33.000 KCAL 9's L.A., right?

00:43:34.000 It's L.A. You gotta do it in L.A. Dude, in the bay, everyone's hiking with masks, wide alone.

00:43:40.000 It's just like they're still holding on to it.

00:43:41.000 It is a badge of honor.

00:43:44.000 It's hilarious.

00:43:45.000 It's a masquerade.

00:43:46.000 It's hilarious.

00:43:47.000 And if everybody else is doing it...

00:43:48.000 That was your best one.

00:43:49.000 That was a pretty good one. 1.00

00:43:50.000 If everybody's doing it, you feel like you have to do it or you're a piece of shit. 1.00

00:43:54.000 Like when we went to see Roger Waters, we had to wear masks. 1.00

00:43:57.000 Oh, it's so funny seeing Rogan going, I'll do this, but only because I got backstage.

00:44:02.000 Wait, you had to wear masks?

00:44:04.000 I would love to see you putting that thing on.

00:44:06.000 I made everybody put it on.

00:44:08.000 Put it on!

00:44:08.000 I was one of those guys.

00:44:09.000 Put your fucking mask on, bro! 1.00

00:44:11.000 But the guy who was the security guy there, I was talking, I'm like, what's going on? 1.00

00:44:16.000 He goes, it's just a way to let everybody know that you're a leftist.

00:44:20.000 That's what he said.

00:44:21.000 That guy was great.

00:44:22.000 It's just a way to let everybody know you're a leftist.

00:44:25.000 I'm like, that is what it is.

00:44:27.000 We bought a bunch of blow on my bachelor party and we tested it for fentanyl.

00:44:31.000 That's right.

00:44:31.000 I made them.

00:44:32.000 Aw, man, I would have loved that.

00:44:33.000 That was you?

00:44:33.000 I made your test.

00:44:34.000 Oh, good call.

00:44:35.000 Yeah.

00:44:36.000 Unless you test all of it, how do you know?

00:44:39.000 You test one little chunk that doesn't have it. 0.98

00:44:41.000 It's not like there's a fucking even distribution of fentanyl in your show. 0.95

00:44:44.000 No, you can shake it up and test the bag. 0.98

00:44:45.000 Do we know that?

00:44:46.000 Is that how it works?

00:44:46.000 That's how you do it.

00:44:48.000 They're not making this stuff in the same places they make fucking... 0.92

00:44:51.000 Yeah, I know, but don't they mix it in together? 0.86

00:44:53.000 Yeah, no, you have tester kits.

00:44:54.000 They work.

00:44:55.000 Kids.

00:44:56.000 Always use tester kits.

00:44:56.000 Yes, use tester kits, but...

00:44:59.000 What I'm saying is if you're buying this stuff, you don't know how it's mixed.

00:45:04.000 You don't know if you're getting like one piece from one batch and one piece from another batch.

00:45:08.000 We scoop up a piece.

00:45:09.000 You just gotta let you lose your friends go first.

00:45:11.000 They're not making it the same place they make Tylenol.

00:45:12.000 No.

00:45:13.000 But still, you shake up the bag and then scoop the bag and test that.

00:45:17.000 Or you find the one person that you could live without.

00:45:20.000 There you go.

00:45:21.000 They go first.

00:45:21.000 You go here.

00:45:22.000 Do you want to bump?

00:45:23.000 All right, Tony.

00:45:23.000 Dude, I got 10 hits of acid once.

00:45:25.000 We should fight for legalization.

00:45:26.000 Jason Rouse is like, where'd you get it from?

00:45:28.000 I'm like, just some guy.

00:45:29.000 I don't test it.

00:45:30.000 He goes, want me to test for you?

00:45:31.000 I'm like, yeah, you can't.

00:45:33.000 So I gave him one, and he came back two hours later.

00:45:35.000 It's great.

00:45:35.000 I'm like, here's your tip.

00:45:36.000 Here's another one for later.

00:45:37.000 I mean, legalizing it would save everybody.

00:45:40.000 That would save everybody.

00:45:41.000 You could just get it from CVS. But there would definitely be people who died.

00:45:47.000 Oh, yeah.

00:45:48.000 The question is, do more die from it being legal than die from it being illegal?

00:45:52.000 I mean, if cocaine's legal, that would be wild.

00:45:55.000 I'd break it out.

00:45:56.000 I'd do it.

00:45:57.000 It wouldn't be cut.

00:45:59.000 It would be cooked.

00:46:00.000 It would be pure.

00:46:00.000 Yeah.

00:46:01.000 You could make it.

00:46:01.000 It's not like it's expensive to make.

00:46:04.000 You just say, I mean, I don't know, but he's an expert.

00:46:06.000 I mean, it's expensive to make, but it's not like you can't sell it and make a profit, is my point.

00:46:10.000 Diaz said the only reason people overdose is because of the cut.

00:46:14.000 Because in the pure days, nobody OD'd on it.

00:46:16.000 Really?

00:46:16.000 That's what he says, and he's more of an expert than I am.

00:46:20.000 Fat Cokehead. 0.89

00:46:21.000 He knows things.

00:46:22.000 Exactly.

00:46:22.000 But it's one of those things where you're telling me I can have whiskey, but you're telling me I can't have pot.

00:46:27.000 You're telling me, you know, and then, well, pot, we're going to legalize pot?

00:46:30.000 What about mushrooms?

00:46:31.000 Oh, we're not ready for that yet.

00:46:32.000 Who are you?

00:46:33.000 Who are you? 1.00

00:46:34.000 Who the fuck are you? 1.00

00:46:35.000 I'm 55 years old. 1.00

00:46:37.000 Who was some other man my age to tell me what I can and can't do? 1.00

00:46:42.000 Shut the fuck up, dude. 1.00

00:46:44.000 Yeah, that's America, dude. 1.00

00:46:45.000 Let's go. 1.00

00:46:45.000 I pay my taxes, bitch. 1.00

00:46:47.000 I'm a good citizen. 1.00

00:46:48.000 Fuck off. 1.00

00:46:49.000 This is nonsense. 1.00

00:46:50.000 It is kooky. 1.00

00:46:51.000 And if you let them do it with that, then they can do it with other shit. 0.99

00:46:54.000 Then they got you wearing a mask while you're on KTLA. What does other countries do? 0.96

00:46:58.000 Don't other countries allow heroin and shit? 1.00

00:47:01.000 Portugal dropped way... 1.00

00:47:03.000 What?

00:47:04.000 Decriminalized.

00:47:04.000 They decriminalized things.

00:47:06.000 They saw a much lower case of addictions, violence, crime drops.

00:47:11.000 You put the same money you were putting into fighting the crimes, fighting the drugs, you put that into rehab and therapy for the people who can handle it.

00:47:17.000 Oh, I like it.

00:47:18.000 Which is what we should do here.

00:47:20.000 Yeah.

00:47:20.000 I would try heroin in a second.

00:47:22.000 I would try heroin.

00:47:23.000 Safe heroin?

00:47:23.000 That's not going to help.

00:47:24.000 God, I want it so bad.

00:47:26.000 I just want to see what it's all about.

00:47:28.000 Safe, clean heroin.

00:47:30.000 Just a little snort.

00:47:31.000 Ooh, now we're talking. 1.00

00:47:33.000 Shut up, Mark. 0.99

00:47:34.000 You won't even eat that chocolate. 1.00

00:47:35.000 Yeah, Mark.

00:47:36.000 Well, I don't want to say I don't want to go full Michael Richards on here.

00:47:39.000 Go Michael Richards.

00:47:40.000 I've lost a few people to those pills, though.

00:47:42.000 Which pills?

00:47:44.000 Oxys.

00:47:44.000 The red pill?

00:47:44.000 Oh, yeah.

00:47:45.000 Oh, yeah.

00:47:46.000 Those are bad.

00:47:47.000 And no one cares about that.

00:47:48.000 It's like a huge epidemic.

00:47:49.000 That's right.

00:47:50.000 Because the senator's wives are all doing them. 1.00

00:47:52.000 Oh, yeah.

00:47:53.000 Oh, so many people are doing them.

00:47:55.000 Oh, my back.

00:47:56.000 Right.

00:47:56.000 And you're on.

00:47:57.000 Brett Favre's got a dick to it. 0.99

00:47:59.000 It's had to say, like, you guys gave me painkillers. 1.00

00:48:00.000 Now I can't stop.

00:48:01.000 Yeah.

00:48:01.000 Help me out.

00:48:02.000 And if you had a mild dose every day, just a mild scooching through life with a little...

00:48:09.000 Yeah.

00:48:10.000 Favre's got a hug.

00:48:11.000 No, he doesn't.

00:48:12.000 Favre's got a hug. 1.00

00:48:13.000 Jamie, bring up Brett Favre's dick. 0.99

00:48:14.000 Don't put it on screen. 1.00

00:48:15.000 Put it for us. 0.98

00:48:16.000 He's got a real pig skin. 0.96

00:48:17.000 I promise you he doesn't. 0.96

00:48:18.000 It's a picture that went around.

00:48:19.000 Just Google it on your phone. 0.99

00:48:20.000 He was like one of the first dick pics ever. 0.97

00:48:21.000 Just do it on your phone so I don't have to see it. 0.99

00:48:22.000 No, show it.

00:48:23.000 Make Joe see it.

00:48:24.000 Tape his eyes open.

00:48:26.000 Eyes wide shot.

00:48:30.000 Yeah, I think he sent it to a comic.

00:48:32.000 What?

00:48:33.000 The girl who became a comic, yeah.

00:48:34.000 Quigley? 1.00

00:48:35.000 Oh, she became a comic after she saw his dick? 1.00

00:48:38.000 Isn't it funny that our dream is everyone's last-ditch effort on their way down? 0.99

00:48:43.000 It's like, they can't seem to get rid of those guys.

00:48:46.000 Maybe it'll be one of them.

00:48:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:48.000 Brett Favre's dick is minuscule. 1.00

00:48:50.000 Wait a minute. 1.00

00:48:51.000 Come on.

00:48:53.000 Minuscule?

00:48:53.000 He's going to want to come on the podcast and defend himself.

00:48:56.000 That is not a football date.

00:48:58.000 He's like, listen, I was...

00:48:59.000 Oh, I feel great.

00:49:01.000 That's the one he was looking at at the top left on the radio.

00:49:03.000 He's like, listen, I was on pills.

00:49:04.000 I was really tired.

00:49:06.000 He's no pack.

00:49:07.000 I just got out of the shower. 0.99

00:49:08.000 By the way, dick size means nothing. 0.99

00:49:09.000 Brett Favre is the man. 0.99

00:49:10.000 Other than, you know, embezzling some money out of the state of Mississippi recently.

00:49:14.000 No, that rolled.

00:49:14.000 What did he do?

00:49:15.000 That rolled.

00:49:15.000 Uh-oh.

00:49:16.000 What did he do?

00:49:17.000 I think he made a lot of...

00:49:18.000 I think he...

00:49:18.000 He took housing from a lot of money.

00:49:21.000 Give me one of them pouches.

00:49:22.000 I'm still trying to figure out if I can...

00:49:23.000 Hey! 1.00

00:49:25.000 You fuck. 1.00

00:49:26.000 We better bring that cooler in here. 1.00

00:49:27.000 Every time I've tried to use one of these, I go...

00:49:30.000 Zim, it kills me. 1.00

00:49:31.000 It gets me all fucking pass-out. 1.00

00:49:33.000 You're going to have a jolt. 0.99

00:49:33.000 The taste of it is what gets me. 0.99

00:49:35.000 Let's think we got...

00:49:36.000 You got nicotine.

00:49:38.000 You got alcohol.

00:49:39.000 Yeah, this is how we get Zim. 1.00

00:49:41.000 Mushrooms, whiskey, cigars.

00:49:42.000 Mixing.

00:49:43.000 Mixing is the problem.

00:49:44.000 It's covered.

00:49:45.000 No, no.

00:49:46.000 You sound like a meth monk. 0.93

00:49:49.000 Those guys must be going wild. 0.93

00:49:53.000 They're grinding their teeth while humming.

00:49:56.000 Thanks, sir.

00:49:57.000 Oh! 0.60

00:49:57.000 Off the mic, folks. 0.60

00:49:59.000 Yeah, Brett Favre is the man, dude.

00:50:00.000 I forgive him for what he did in Mississippi.

00:50:03.000 So what did he do here?

00:50:05.000 Brett Favre got six million dollars in welfare funds for a volleyball stadium.

00:50:10.000 By the way, who wrote this article?

00:50:11.000 Pittman.

00:50:12.000 Anthony Pittman.

00:50:13.000 And William Pittman.

00:50:14.000 Absolutely his husband.

00:50:17.000 No, they look alike.

00:50:18.000 Maybe they're brothers.

00:50:20.000 Could be brothers.

00:50:22.000 Do you not want to... 0.99

00:50:23.000 Only gay dudes are trying to tear down Brett Favre. 0.99

00:50:26.000 Well, let's see what he said. 0.97

00:50:28.000 What did he actually do?

00:50:32.000 No, he took a bunch of money for whatever, and then he made a volleyball stadium for the college he went to.

00:50:37.000 Southern Miss.

00:50:38.000 Is that so wrong?

00:50:40.000 Allegedly.

00:50:40.000 Did he know?

00:50:42.000 I think it was just a fund he put his name on.

00:50:44.000 I don't think he was embezzling it. 0.99

00:50:46.000 Imagine if you're a part of something, you don't know how they're running it, and then you find out they're taking welfare money, building the most frivolous bullshit thing. 0.99

00:50:54.000 People are starving to death and they're homeless. 0.99

00:50:58.000 Girls volleyball needs a stadium. 0.55

00:51:00.000 Yeah, but volleyball and my kid, this is a school.

00:51:02.000 We can get the money this way if we just sign a couple blinds.

00:51:05.000 I don't know enough about it.

00:51:06.000 About what the allegations are.

00:51:08.000 So let's just make up facts.

00:51:09.000 I feel like he was just barely associated with it.

00:51:11.000 He wasn't running it out there.

00:51:12.000 Of course he wasn't running it. 1.00

00:51:13.000 If you're in Mississippi and you're turning on Favre, you suck. 1.00

00:51:15.000 You suck. 1.00

00:51:16.000 The only thing he ever did wrong was giving up that free sack to that guy to set the record. 1.00

00:51:20.000 That was bullshit. 0.99

00:51:21.000 You ever hear him talk about how many concussions he's had? 1.00

00:51:25.000 No.

00:51:26.000 He talks like Biden.

00:51:27.000 Ooh, it's crazy.

00:51:28.000 The old gunslinger.

00:51:29.000 He said he's had like a hundred.

00:51:30.000 Wow.

00:51:31.000 CTE, no joke.

00:51:33.000 I believe it.

00:51:33.000 See, I know he talked about it recently.

00:51:35.000 He was a tough one.

00:51:36.000 There was an article recently about how many concussions he's had.

00:51:39.000 He said a thousand.

00:51:41.000 A thousand!

00:51:42.000 That's wrong.

00:51:43.000 In a radio interview, Favre estimated that he suffered from an astounding 1,000 concussions.

00:51:49.000 How do you know it's wrong?

00:51:50.000 Sounds like something Beetlejuice would say.

00:51:52.000 Okay, let's do the math.

00:51:53.000 Until recently, he believed he only suffered three concussions because that was the number of times he was knocked unconscious.

00:52:00.000 50 a year?

00:52:01.000 Wow, that's a lot.

00:52:03.000 But dude, he's playing football all the time.

00:52:05.000 No, he didn't get a thousand.

00:52:06.000 No, he didn't get a thousand.

00:52:07.000 Come on.

00:52:07.000 You guys understand?

00:52:08.000 A thousand concussions, he would be dead.

00:52:10.000 No.

00:52:10.000 Do you understand what a concussion actually is?

00:52:12.000 Do you know if you get punched in the body, you can get a concussion?

00:52:16.000 Oh boy, here we go.

00:52:17.000 No, literally.

00:52:18.000 You easily would.

00:52:18.000 You would die.

00:52:19.000 No, literally. 0.72

00:52:20.000 You would be concussed by that harsh statement.

00:52:22.000 Ouch! 1.00

00:52:23.000 You were around for leather helmets. 1.00

00:52:25.000 Man, you got funnier since this fucking thing came out, too. 1.00

00:52:27.000 It's crazy. 1.00

00:52:27.000 He's more loose! 1.00

00:52:28.000 He's funny, Jim.

00:52:29.000 He's back!

00:52:30.000 Give me that big six million number and the Holocaust is forgiven. 0.99

00:52:33.000 Maybe I was wrong.

00:52:34.000 Oh, my God.

00:52:34.000 It's not real.

00:52:35.000 Only he can say that.

00:52:36.000 It's a perfect time for you.

00:52:37.000 That's right.

00:52:37.000 This is your time, Ari.

00:52:39.000 You're having a moment.

00:52:40.000 Common misconceptions about concussions.

00:52:42.000 Concussions require head trauma.

00:52:44.000 While severe blow to the head will often result in a concussion, it's not a requirement for the diagnosis.

00:52:48.000 A person can have a concussion by sudden acceleration or decelerated change of movement.

00:52:54.000 Most commonly, this is a whiplast motion.

00:52:57.000 Oh, yeah.

00:52:57.000 I think I got hit in an Uber.

00:52:59.000 I'll admit, a Lyft.

00:53:00.000 And somebody hit us from behind it.

00:53:03.000 Went like that.

00:53:04.000 The whole rest of the day.

00:53:05.000 You didn't want to say Lyft.

00:53:06.000 Yeah, it's cheap.

00:53:07.000 No more lift.

00:53:08.000 Lift's cheap.

00:53:08.000 Yeah, I'm doing better now that I have four million hits.

00:53:09.000 We'll throw a lift.

00:53:10.000 It's fine.

00:53:11.000 But anyway, the whole rest of the day, I couldn't concentrate.

00:53:14.000 It was just like, it was cloudy.

00:53:16.000 Concussions can cause you to lose your memory.

00:53:17.000 It's possible to experience some memory deficits, particularly of the events leading up to a moment of concussion.

00:53:22.000 However, memory loss is not required for a diagnosis.

00:53:26.000 Now, if you just take into account how many times he collided with enormous men.

00:53:30.000 How many in one day can you have?

00:53:32.000 Super athletes.

00:53:32.000 Can you have seven in a practice?

00:53:34.000 Oh, yeah.

00:53:34.000 In a three-hour practice?

00:53:35.000 Yeah, definitely.

00:53:36.000 You can.

00:53:36.000 Well, then maybe I believe it.

00:53:37.000 You 100% can sparring.

00:53:39.000 Seven concussions in a day?

00:53:40.000 I've been dinged up sparring and gone right back in with another.

00:53:44.000 We always used to do that.

00:53:45.000 We used to get rocked.

00:53:47.000 If that's the case, I've had several concussions.

00:53:50.000 I've had a lot of them.

00:53:51.000 I know I've had a lot of them.

00:53:52.000 I've never been knocked unconscious, but I got TKO'd in a kickboxing match, so that's definitely one. 1.00

00:53:58.000 Kick to the head? 0.99

00:53:59.000 No, it was a punch.

00:54:00.000 And then I got dropped to the left hook, then he finished me off with an uppercut after I got up.

00:54:04.000 And that is just one.

00:54:06.000 Pull it up.

00:54:07.000 But that's nothing compared to all the other times I got hit in just training.

00:54:12.000 Yeah.

00:54:12.000 He said, Brett Favre says, you get tackled and your head hits the turf.

00:54:16.000 You see flashes of light are ringing in your ears, but you're able to play.

00:54:19.000 That's a concussion.

00:54:20.000 Yeah, that's a concussion.

00:54:22.000 So based on that, he said, I've suffered thousands.

00:54:26.000 Had to be, because every time my head hit the turf, there was ringing or stars going, flashbulbs, but I was still able to play.

00:54:33.000 100%.

00:54:34.000 I admit I was wrong.

00:54:35.000 I'm a big man.

00:54:36.000 Thank you.

00:54:37.000 And I'm able to admit that I was wrong.

00:54:38.000 Favre rules, and he's had over a thousand cuts. 1.00

00:54:40.000 Sorry I said his dick was minuscule. 1.00

00:54:42.000 It's a decent dick. 1.00

00:54:43.000 It's a fine penis. 1.00

00:54:44.000 We just didn't know you were supposed to harden it up. 1.00

00:54:45.000 It's an absolutely fine penis. 1.00

00:54:47.000 Imagine if every time you got punched, your dick shrank a little bit. 1.00

00:54:50.000 Oh! 1.00

00:54:51.000 That's my excuse.

00:54:52.000 Imagine that? 1.00

00:54:53.000 If you got punched your dick? 1.00

00:54:55.000 Yeah, every time you got punched. 1.00

00:54:56.000 Even if you win the fight.

00:54:57.000 You retire.

00:54:57.000 You start out with ten inches.

00:54:59.000 And every time you get ding, ding.

00:55:01.000 Quarter inch.

00:55:01.000 Yeah, you do a press conference.

00:55:03.000 How did you feel your performance was?

00:55:05.000 It was good.

00:55:06.000 I lost an eighth inch.

00:55:09.000 Look at him. 1.00

00:55:09.000 I'm my dick, but I'm pretty happy. 1.00

00:55:11.000 Look at him. 1.00

00:55:12.000 He's like, fuck, you've got to get better to get back in the game. 1.00

00:55:14.000 Poor guy. 1.00

00:55:14.000 How hard did he go down? 1.00

00:55:16.000 Good for him.

00:55:16.000 Look at him stiff arming this guy.

00:55:19.000 What a fucking warrior. 1.00

00:55:20.000 Helping girls volleyball. 1.00

00:55:22.000 Oh, bam.

00:55:23.000 You see his head go down.

00:55:24.000 Oh my god.

00:55:25.000 And he's just holding it.

00:55:26.000 And his head just bounces off the ground.

00:55:28.000 And those helmets are supposed to protect you.

00:55:29.000 Got a face mask.

00:55:30.000 No, no, it doesn't really.

00:55:31.000 Oh my god, that's such a hard hit.

00:55:33.000 They did start protecting quarterbacks.

00:55:35.000 Oh, he holds his head.

00:55:36.000 Oh my god, look at him.

00:55:37.000 Make that thing full of pillows. 1.00

00:55:39.000 Yeah, it's not as bad as your skull hitting the ground, but the impact in the brain is the same.

00:55:45.000 It protects the skull, but the impact inside of the head is the same.

00:55:50.000 It's worse with the helmets.

00:55:51.000 With the leather helmets, they actually had less concussion.

00:55:53.000 Same with boxing gloves.

00:55:54.000 I used to think that too, but then I read this thing about rugby guys. 0.99

00:55:58.000 Those guys are getting fucking bad CTE. Back in the day, dudes would die. 0.98

00:56:03.000 No. 0.93

00:56:04.000 It was mostly whitey. 1.00

00:56:06.000 Yeah, whiteys kill each other. 1.00

00:56:08.000 Whiteys are kind of the best at killing. 1.00

00:56:09.000 Are you taking notes? 0.99

00:56:10.000 True.

00:56:11.000 They kill the most people.

00:56:12.000 A lot of genocide. 1.00

00:56:13.000 The British, my God. 0.99

00:56:14.000 Stop doing this, dude.

00:56:15.000 It's a podcast.

00:56:16.000 What are you doing?

00:56:17.000 This is bad radio.

00:56:18.000 What are you doing, Ari?

00:56:19.000 Do you like me for real?

00:56:24.000 I'm telling you, he got funnier, dude.

00:56:26.000 He's never up to this, dude.

00:56:27.000 He's better.

00:56:28.000 All his jokes are like, I'm going to say something great.

00:56:30.000 Honestly, do you feel better?

00:56:33.000 I feel better getting this thing out.

00:56:35.000 Yeah.

00:56:35.000 Yeah, I got it out.

00:56:36.000 People are loving it, but I'm just like...

00:56:39.000 But you feel personally better.

00:56:40.000 You seem like you feel better.

00:56:41.000 You're lighter.

00:56:41.000 Yeah, it was an incompletion that I, you know...

00:56:44.000 And now you gotta ride it.

00:56:45.000 You gotta ride the wave because you can slope down again.

00:56:47.000 Yeah.

00:56:48.000 So you gotta keep it up.

00:56:49.000 I can see you going.

00:56:50.000 What was that, man?

00:56:50.000 No, I'm just saying, stay on the wave.

00:56:52.000 Don't talk to guys like that.

00:56:54.000 This could fall apart.

00:56:56.000 I hope you saved your money.

00:56:57.000 It could.

00:56:58.000 You've got to ride the wave, especially right now.

00:56:59.000 You're not going to leave for like a month or anything, are you?

00:57:02.000 Don't go to Thailand.

00:57:03.000 I am going for a few weeks.

00:57:04.000 What are you doing?

00:57:05.000 I'm just going to get lost for a few weeks.

00:57:07.000 I'm riding the wave.

00:57:07.000 I just did a Joe Rogan episode.

00:57:09.000 Are you crying?

00:57:09.000 There goes your career.

00:57:10.000 Are you crying because you're so happy?

00:57:14.000 No one deserves it less, honestly.

00:57:16.000 Hear, hear.

00:57:17.000 I can't believe it's working out for you.

00:57:19.000 I was in there trying to respond to comments and keep the thing going.

00:57:23.000 A lot of them was like, Joe keeps talking about this guy.

00:57:25.000 And I was like, finally, I'll give him a chance.

00:57:27.000 And I guess for once he was right.

00:57:29.000 For once? 1.00

00:57:30.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:57:31.000 It was a nasty thing to say to me and Mark. 1.00

00:57:33.000 Ouch.

00:57:34.000 I didn't know you would be like this. 0.62

00:57:35.000 What about the sex?

00:57:36.000 Is it better now that you have some money?

00:57:40.000 I got $22,000 on YouTube. 0.82

00:57:43.000 Is this sex better? 0.54

00:57:44.000 Now that you got some money. 0.95

00:57:46.000 Which isn't green.

00:57:47.000 Nah, it makes it worse.

00:57:48.000 Yeah.

00:57:49.000 It was fun. 1.00

00:57:49.000 Poor fucking. 1.00

00:57:50.000 Poor fucking's great. 1.00

00:57:51.000 Poor fucking is the best. 1.00

00:57:52.000 Poor fucking's only great when you're not poor anymore. 1.00

00:57:54.000 When you look back, oh, that poor fucking was amazing. 1.00

00:57:57.000 When you're poor fucking, you're fucking, you're like, God, I hope I didn't get her pregnant. 1.00

00:58:00.000 What time is it? 1.00

00:58:01.000 I am hungry.

00:58:02.000 How much money do I have in the bank?

00:58:03.000 $5?

00:58:04.000 That chlamydia pill is not cheap either. 0.68

00:58:08.000 And a lot of stinky veg out there. 1.00

00:58:10.000 Also, you're happy, but you're not happy.

00:58:12.000 Because you're still trying to get to the thing.

00:58:15.000 The thing is, people get a little bit of success.

00:58:18.000 They go, oh, it was fun back in the day when I didn't know.

00:58:20.000 But it wasn't then.

00:58:21.000 It's only fun now.

00:58:22.000 It's like secondhand fun.

00:58:25.000 There's levels of fun.

00:58:27.000 Steve Brunello taught me this.

00:58:28.000 There's fun where it's fun while you're doing it, like a roller coaster, but you never talk about that.

00:58:33.000 Remember when we went on that roller coaster? 0.99

00:58:34.000 And there's certain things that fucking suck while you're doing them. 0.98

00:58:37.000 But then afterwards, they're fun to talk about. 0.98

00:58:40.000 They're fun for years.

00:58:41.000 I remember I used to open for Louie, and he'd be like, I would kill to be in your position, just running around, doing sets.

00:58:46.000 You know they're laughing at you because you're actually funny.

00:58:48.000 It's not because you're a celebrity.

00:58:49.000 And then when he got canceled, I was like, hey, you're back.

00:58:51.000 And he hung up.

00:58:53.000 He didn't like that.

00:58:54.000 It is true, though. 0.81

00:58:55.000 You just have to focus on the good parts.

00:58:57.000 All those young comics are like, you should appreciate it.

00:58:59.000 There was some great times.

00:59:00.000 The problem with those young comics is we don't know if they're going to make it.

00:59:04.000 That's one of the scariest things about our business.

00:59:06.000 We are salmon going up that waterfall and there's a shit ton of bears up there.

00:59:11.000 Not all of us make it.

00:59:13.000 Most of us don't make it.

00:59:14.000 You got out of a bear's mouth.

00:59:16.000 I got right in the bear's mouth.

00:59:19.000 What's up?

00:59:20.000 You guys been here?

00:59:21.000 I got three bears out there right now.

00:59:26.000 Your people love salmon. 1.00

00:59:31.000 I fucking hate you Gus, dude. 1.00

00:59:33.000 If you don't get cancelled by the comedy community, if they're still fucking with you, you just get through it. 1.00

00:59:39.000 You just get through it. 0.77

00:59:41.000 Yeah, you got through it.

00:59:42.000 And now people get to see.

00:59:44.000 Now, like, what's the big deal? 0.99

00:59:45.000 They see, like, oh, he's a fucking talented artist. 0.99

00:59:47.000 Shane fucking set the groundwork for it, for real. 0.99

00:59:50.000 You're an artist. 0.99

00:59:52.000 He is!

00:59:52.000 I don't know about artists.

00:59:56.000 It's just we're a weird kind of artist.

00:59:58.000 Autist.

00:59:58.000 It sounds gross when you say it.

01:00:00.000 Autistic integrity.

01:00:01.000 Every other artist is happy you call him an artist.

01:00:03.000 Yeah.

01:00:03.000 You call a comic an artist.

01:00:04.000 That's true.

01:00:05.000 You have to be pretentious. 0.99

01:00:06.000 I'm making a lot of dick jokes. 0.99

01:00:08.000 The guy's at Subway. 0.99

01:00:09.000 Sandwich artist.

01:00:09.000 If you tell Dom Irary he's an artist, he's like, what is this?

01:00:12.000 What are you doing with these words?

01:00:16.000 He was a funny guy.

01:00:17.000 Oh, he still is.

01:00:18.000 He's great.

01:00:19.000 Dom's an animal.

01:00:20.000 Dom's great.

01:00:21.000 Dom Herrera from the Rodney Dangerfield special.

01:00:23.000 That's what we should bring back at the mothership.

01:00:25.000 Those were killer!

01:00:27.000 Do like a Rodney Dangerfield style comedy special.

01:00:29.000 Yeah, like Kenison, Hicks, Seinfeld, Dice, Lenny Clark, Dom Herrera, who else?

01:00:36.000 Lots of people.

01:00:37.000 Lots of people.

01:00:37.000 Robert Townsend.

01:00:38.000 Here's some people you should know.

01:00:40.000 Roseanne, that's how she popped. 1.00

01:00:41.000 Robert Schimmel.

01:00:43.000 Schimmel was so funny.

01:00:44.000 Kinnison was the best one, because Kinnison went from Bob, I think he was on Bob Nelson and Saget's, and they're funny, but they're doing that style, that 80s style comedy, and Kinnison's like, hey, I'm going to completely mix this up.

01:00:54.000 Oh, yeah.

01:00:54.000 You see his Letterman?

01:00:55.000 It's unreal.

01:00:56.000 He goes into the audience.

01:00:57.000 Letterman's just like, it's because you know he saw him at the store.

01:01:00.000 Yeah.

01:01:00.000 And so he goes, guys, this next guy, he's presenting to a crowd.

01:01:04.000 Let's play it.

01:01:05.000 Play Kinnison on Letterman.

01:01:06.000 Yeah.

01:01:07.000 Enjoy!

01:01:09.000 Yeah, Chris Rock said he's the first guy to change the format.

01:01:12.000 Who?

01:01:12.000 He did.

01:01:13.000 Kennison.

01:01:13.000 He was the first guy to let me know that you could do that.

01:01:17.000 Before you play that, hold on a second.

01:01:18.000 He was an alt-comic.

01:01:19.000 This is a story that...

01:01:20.000 This is how I've told the story on the podcast.

01:01:22.000 If you've heard it, I'm sorry.

01:01:23.000 I was working as a fitness trainer at the Boston Athletic Club.

01:01:28.000 I was 19 years old.

01:01:29.000 There was this girl that worked the front desk. 1.00

01:01:30.000 She was hilarious. 0.99

01:01:31.000 This fucking real Boston girl. 0.99

01:01:33.000 She was like a volleyball player. 1.00

01:01:34.000 A big fucking strong girl. 0.99

01:01:36.000 She was hilarious though. 1.00

01:01:37.000 Real brash.

01:01:37.000 Sounds hot.

01:01:38.000 She was hot. 1.00

01:01:39.000 She was hot. 1.00

01:01:39.000 I like the Boston accent. 1.00

01:01:40.000 So her and I were talking. 0.99

01:01:42.000 She goes, oh my god, you gotta see this fucking comedian, Sam Kennison. 0.99

01:01:45.000 I saw him last night. 0.99

01:01:46.000 It's so funny.

01:01:46.000 Wow.

01:01:47.000 She goes outside in the parking lot and she redoes his bit about homosexual necrophiliacs who are paying money to spend time with the freshest male corpse. 1.00

01:01:56.000 So this girl's on her stomach in the parking lot going, oh, oh, you mean life keeps fucking in the ass even after you're dead? 1.00

01:02:03.000 It never ends! 1.00

01:02:04.000 I am dabbled over laughing.

01:02:06.000 Just me and her in the parking lot.

01:02:09.000 And then I went and found the special at a video store.

01:02:13.000 That's nuts!

01:02:14.000 A recreation of it.

01:02:15.000 Yeah.

01:02:16.000 Wow.

01:02:16.000 That's crazy.

01:02:17.000 Her recreation of it got me into Kinison.

01:02:19.000 Wait, wait.

01:02:19.000 Before you press play, he looks exactly like Demi Blavato giving a tour of her house.

01:02:23.000 That smile.

01:02:24.000 That crazy smile.

01:02:25.000 He looks like Jim Carrey pretending to be David Letterman.

01:02:26.000 Right.

01:02:27.000 That's what he looks like.

01:02:28.000 Look at him.

01:02:28.000 He was a funny guy.

01:02:30.000 Okay, well, we're in for something now, folks.

01:02:33.000 My next guest is making his network television debut tonight, and we believe it's long overdue.

01:02:37.000 He is one of the strangest and most original comedians working today.

01:02:41.000 Brace yourselves.

01:02:42.000 I'm not kidding.

01:02:44.000 Please welcome Sam Kinison.

01:02:46.000 That's a great intro.

01:02:48.000 Do they already know him?

01:02:49.000 He's got screams.

01:02:50.000 Look at the swagger!

01:02:51.000 Look at the swagger.

01:02:53.000 Car accident. 0.93

01:02:55.000 Fucked his head up, and he changed. 0.98

01:02:57.000 He used to be a pastor. 0.99

01:03:01.000 There's still time to call the church and call all this off.

01:03:07.000 I know a lot of you come here, you watch TV, you wait every night.

01:03:12.000 For somebody to come on here and give you an answer for your lives, waiting for someone that'll come and say, hey, this is it.

01:03:19.000 I don't have to settle for defeat anymore.

01:03:21.000 I can rise up out of my routine.

01:03:23.000 I can get a hold of myself.

01:03:25.000 I don't have to lose.

01:03:27.000 I can win.

01:03:28.000 There's something inside me that's not going to let me go down anymore.

01:03:33.000 But I'm not the guy.

01:03:38.000 No, I don't have any answers for you.

01:03:41.000 But I can tell you about one thing.

01:03:44.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:03:44.000 You think you're safe, huh?

01:03:46.000 You people over here, you think you're safe?

01:03:48.000 Do you think you're safe?

01:03:48.000 What's your name?

01:03:49.000 Lou?

01:03:50.000 He's doing crab work!

01:03:51.000 Lou, you ever been married?

01:03:52.000 Confidence.

01:03:53.000 It's like, alright.

01:03:53.000 Can you do me a favor?

01:03:54.000 Well, this is the bit he used to do.

01:03:55.000 If you ever think you want to get married, if you ever think you've met the right woman, you want to settle down, you want to get a house, you want to get a car, maybe raise a family, do me a favor, will you, Lou?

01:04:05.000 Remember this face.

01:04:22.000 Look at that guy clapping so hard next to his wife. 0.93

01:04:25.000 That was the opener.

01:04:29.000 What's your name?

01:04:31.000 Bill?

01:04:32.000 Show him the face.

01:04:35.000 Showtime!

01:04:36.000 That guy lived for six months off that.

01:04:38.000 Look at him!

01:04:41.000 They had to go back to work and go, Ginnison!

01:04:43.000 They've tested to me!

01:04:45.000 That's not me, all right?

01:04:49.000 I'm trying to help here.

01:04:50.000 I'm trying to do a good thing.

01:04:53.000 I was married for two years.

01:04:54.000 My life was so boring, I actually worried about my yard.

01:04:57.000 Duh! 1.00

01:05:01.000 That's my friends at Goals, Careers, Visions.

01:05:04.000 We're doing things for their lives.

01:05:05.000 I was out there looking for crabgrass.

01:05:08.000 Weeds and stuff going, I have a responsibility to the neighborhood.

01:05:12.000 There is a weed here.

01:05:17.000 And then that doesn't happen.

01:05:18.000 You have kids.

01:05:19.000 Have you seen those guys?

01:05:20.000 Those guys in the malls with the strollers.

01:05:22.000 Have you seen them?

01:05:23.000 That's cool.

01:05:24.000 With that look on their face like they envy the dead.

01:05:37.000 It's so bleak.

01:05:45.000 It's so bleak.

01:05:46.000 I buy it every time, though, I swear I do.

01:05:49.000 I buy it every time.

01:05:50.000 I love women, I can't help it. 1.00

01:05:51.000 I buy it every time.

01:05:52.000 Love comes to me and goes, come on!

01:05:54.000 Come on! 0.61

01:05:55.000 Yes, this is love!

01:05:57.000 Yeah, come on! 0.93

01:05:59.000 Trust it!

01:06:00.000 I know, you've been in love before.

01:06:01.000 This is love!

01:06:03.000 I wouldn't lie to you eight times in a row!

01:06:05.000 Come on! 0.61

01:06:07.000 Open the door.

01:06:07.000 Let's see what we have for you.

01:06:10.000 Oh! 0.60

01:06:13.000 It lied to me again!

01:06:20.000 I keep going for that same kind of love, too, man.

01:06:22.000 That Van Gogh kind of love.

01:06:23.000 You know, we walk in, you go, hey!

01:06:25.000 You heard me so much, I don't even know what pain is! 1.00

01:06:36.000 What a psycho. 0.93

01:06:39.000 I know half America right now is going, what are we watching? 0.99

01:06:45.000 What kind of comedy is this?

01:06:46.000 Is this the man that was prophesied to have come out of the sea and controlled their settings?

01:06:50.000 Ha! 0.89

01:06:51.000 No.

01:06:53.000 No, I'm not him.

01:06:54.000 I'm just a comic with some weird fashion choices, but, uh...

01:06:57.000 Tell you what, those chocolates hit just in time, brothers.

01:07:01.000 Read your Bibles, your New Testaments, your tours, your tours, whatever you think will protect you.

01:07:06.000 You're not safe.

01:07:08.000 But I'm trying to help.

01:07:10.000 I do the best I can, folks.

01:07:11.000 I swear I do.

01:07:12.000 I do the best I can.

01:07:13.000 Like this world hunger thing.

01:07:14.000 I'm really involved with it.

01:07:16.000 I'm just like you.

01:07:17.000 I see the same commercials as little kids.

01:07:19.000 I eat some chocolate.

01:07:20.000 I eat the old thing.

01:07:21.000 It's nice.

01:07:21.000 Hungry.

01:07:22.000 I watch this on TV and I'm home.

01:07:24.000 I'm going, God, you know, Hassan. 1.00

01:07:26.000 Just throw it in.

01:07:26.000 How cool.

01:07:28.000 Because I know the film crew could give this kid a sandwich.

01:07:31.000 Yeah.

01:07:38.000 This is like the evolution of that bit, right?

01:07:41.000 As you see in the early, early stages of that bit.

01:07:44.000 Come on, you know there's a director five feet away going, don't beat him yet!

01:07:49.000 That's cool. 0.99

01:07:51.000 Carlin said he saw that bit and he was like, oh shit, he got nervous. 0.99

01:07:54.000 Like, I gotta step it up. 0.99

01:07:56.000 Wow.

01:07:57.000 We're losing daylight.

01:07:58.000 We are losing daylight.

01:08:02.000 Losing retention.

01:08:04.000 But I'm not trying to make fun of world hunger.

01:08:06.000 If you want to do something about world hunger, I think I have an answer.

01:08:09.000 I think that a lot of people are adopting this attitude.

01:08:12.000 Want to do something about world hunger?

01:08:14.000 Stop sending them food.

01:08:17.000 It's network television.

01:08:18.000 I'll be the first.

01:08:19.000 Look right here.

01:08:20.000 Zoom in.

01:08:20.000 Stop sending them food.

01:08:23.000 Don't send them any more food.

01:08:25.000 You want to help these people?

01:08:27.000 Send them U-Hauls.

01:08:29.000 Send them boxes, you know, some luggage.

01:08:32.000 Send them a guy out there who goes, Hey, you know, we just drove 750 miles across the desert with your food, and it occurred to us that there wouldn't be world hunger if you people would live with the foodists! 0.98

01:08:44.000 You live in a desert!

01:08:48.000 You understand that?

01:08:49.000 You live in a desert!

01:08:52.000 Nothing crosses!

01:08:54.000 Nothing's gonna cross!

01:08:55.000 We played along, dude.

01:08:57.000 It's awesome.

01:08:58.000 Oh, the swing!

01:09:00.000 How much time did he do?

01:09:01.000 Let me see.

01:09:02.000 He went as long as he could go.

01:09:03.000 They played him in the middle of a word.

01:09:06.000 He did two bits.

01:09:07.000 They're like, he's done, he's done.

01:09:08.000 Get him off. 0.98

01:09:08.000 He did marriage and then the food bit. 0.98

01:09:13.000 What year was that, Jamie?

01:09:14.000 85. Man, you were what, 31?

01:09:18.000 No.

01:09:20.000 85. Shit was about to change. 1.00

01:09:22.000 I was 18. That was his network television debut. 0.99

01:09:25.000 And I found out about him when I was 19. I found out about him in 86 when he did HBO. So it was all poppin'.

01:09:31.000 He hadn't done any TV? I think that was his first television appearance, period.

01:09:35.000 What were there, 18 comics back then?

01:09:37.000 There's like a thousand now.

01:09:38.000 There's probably like 50 then.

01:09:40.000 The ball's on David Letterman to go.

01:09:41.000 I think that was in the middle, but if that was in the 80s, you've got to realize that was the comedy boom.

01:09:46.000 There was comedy clubs everywhere.

01:09:48.000 There was a lot of comedy clubs.

01:09:49.000 There was five of them in one block area of Boston.

01:09:52.000 Jesus.

01:09:53.000 In 88, in Boston, there was Nick's Comedy Stop, then there was a Comedy Connection, and then above the Comedy Connection was the Comedy Club at the Charles, and then across the street was Duck Soup.

01:10:06.000 It was called Duck Soup, and then half a block away was Dick Daugherty's Comedy Vault.

01:10:11.000 Yeah.

01:10:11.000 There had to be somebody going...

01:10:13.000 Hey, I'm going to be the guy who talks normal.

01:10:16.000 Who's not like a comedian.

01:10:18.000 Not Cosby. 0.99

01:10:19.000 Yeah, not like doing the standard shit. 0.99

01:10:20.000 And he just saw a void. 0.99

01:10:22.000 Well, he was a preacher, right?

01:10:23.000 And he had rage.

01:10:24.000 He figured out a way to take that preacher energy and convert it into comedy.

01:10:28.000 And then he's hanging out with all these rock stars.

01:10:30.000 And because he did these late night sets at the store, that's how he became infamous.

01:10:34.000 People would come see him and they would be like, who is that guy?

01:10:38.000 What time is he going up?

01:10:39.000 And it was like a word of mouth thing.

01:10:40.000 Yeah.

01:10:40.000 They would go to see the Kinnison set.

01:10:42.000 To this day, they call it the Kinnison set.

01:10:43.000 The late night.

01:10:44.000 The late night spot.

01:10:44.000 Really?

01:10:45.000 He'd come in at 1230, no one cared, drunk with his friends, with like six or seven top-level stars.

01:10:50.000 You saw him?

01:10:50.000 No, no, no, no.

01:10:51.000 Oh.

01:10:51.000 I got there years after he died.

01:10:53.000 When did he die?

01:10:54.000 He died in, I want to say, like, 92. Oh.

01:10:58.000 Yeah.

01:10:59.000 Somewhere around then?

01:11:00.000 Wasn't it around then?

01:11:00.000 But they said he'd bring people from the rainbow and they'd all party.

01:11:02.000 So no one cared because he's like, you're not really bumping anybody.

01:11:04.000 It's 1230. There's just Poppins anyway.

01:11:06.000 And he'd make it suddenly get packed.

01:11:08.000 He died in 92. He died.

01:11:10.000 I remember when he died because I was in New York.

01:11:14.000 And I was in my apartment.

01:11:15.000 And it was on MTV News.

01:11:17.000 Whoa.

01:11:18.000 Oh my God.

01:11:19.000 I remember not hearing about it because I was in a yeshiva.

01:11:21.000 So you've got to realize it wasn't even a 10-year run.

01:11:24.000 So from 86 to 92 is when he was big, and he had already...

01:11:28.000 He was already topped off.

01:11:29.000 Not just topped off, but heavily declined.

01:11:32.000 If you listen to his first special, and then, well, he's got like the album.

01:11:38.000 Louder Than Hell.

01:11:38.000 The album's good.

01:11:39.000 Louder Than Hell's good.

01:11:40.000 You can only get it like on cassette now.

01:11:41.000 I got that one on vinyl.

01:11:43.000 It's hard to get.

01:11:44.000 That's a good find.

01:11:45.000 And then there was the special, the HBO special.

01:11:47.000 What was that called?

01:11:48.000 Young Comedian special.

01:11:49.000 Oh, maybe that one's Louder Than Hell.

01:11:51.000 No, no, no.

01:11:52.000 Louder Than Hell is definitely the cassette.

01:11:53.000 Was the album, okay.

01:11:54.000 And then there was the HBO special.

01:11:55.000 And then, it was like a year and a half or so later, he put out a new special and it was not good.

01:12:01.000 It was rough.

01:12:01.000 Was that the Girls on Chains he brought in?

01:12:03.000 He bought into who he was.

01:12:05.000 Exactly.

01:12:06.000 He got audience capture.

01:12:08.000 So Louder Than Hell was 86, Breaking the Rules was 87, and that one was not good.

01:12:13.000 Have You Seen Me Lately, 88, also not good.

01:12:15.000 The rest of them are not good.

01:12:17.000 Isn't that sad, huh?

01:12:18.000 Well, he was just partying.

01:12:20.000 Yeah, you gotta work at it.

01:12:22.000 You've ever read Brother Bill?

01:12:24.000 Bill Kinison wrote it.

01:12:26.000 His brother, Bill.

01:12:27.000 It's really good.

01:12:28.000 Brother Sam, it's called.

01:12:29.000 The book's called Brother Sam.

01:12:30.000 But his brother wrote this book about what happened, and he's real honest about it.

01:12:34.000 He's like, he stopped writing.

01:12:36.000 He used to write constantly.

01:12:38.000 He always had new material, but then he was partying and doing coke and hanging out with Jon Bon Jovi, making music videos.

01:12:43.000 He was the talk of the town.

01:12:45.000 He forgot the work that goes into it.

01:12:47.000 That's every start.

01:12:47.000 They just forget the work that goes into it.

01:12:49.000 But it wasn't even 10 years, man.

01:12:50.000 It was right away.

01:12:51.000 That's what's crazy.

01:12:52.000 86 to 92. That's his hate day.

01:12:54.000 There were 38 and a half comics back then.

01:12:56.000 Now you're right.

01:12:57.000 There wasn't many. 0.99

01:12:58.000 Damn. 1.00

01:12:59.000 Didn't he get hit by a drunk driver? 1.00

01:13:00.000 Yep.

01:13:01.000 After he did jokes about drunk driving.

01:13:03.000 We're going to drink.

01:13:03.000 We're going to drive.

01:13:04.000 We're going to pull it off. 1.00

01:13:05.000 Because we do it every fucking night. 0.99

01:13:07.000 That was not his show. 1.00

01:13:08.000 Ah!

01:13:09.000 He was coming the other way.

01:13:11.000 You ever think about the amount of times you drank and drove and just made it?

01:13:15.000 I came back from a Stanhope show at King King or somewhere in Hollywood, running back to the comedy store for last call.

01:13:21.000 Drunk.

01:13:21.000 Hit someone in front of the saddle ranch.

01:13:23.000 What?

01:13:24.000 And I was like, oh, let's exchange insurance.

01:13:25.000 They're trying to keep it together.

01:13:26.000 A cop slowed down, and I was like, we're good, we're good, we're good. 1.00

01:13:32.000 Holy shit. 0.99

01:13:32.000 I'm like, no, no, we're good. 0.99

01:13:34.000 Damn, I sideswiped a bunch of cars once with my mom's Lexus. 0.98

01:13:38.000 And she was like, what happened? 0.99

01:13:39.000 I was like, car was parked.

01:13:40.000 Somebody sideswiped me.

01:13:42.000 Now she knows.

01:13:43.000 Now she knows.

01:13:43.000 Don't believe your son.

01:13:44.000 God damn it, Mark. 1.00

01:13:46.000 She's dead. 1.00

01:13:46.000 She has CT. She played a lot of football. 1.00

01:13:49.000 Oh, yeah.

01:13:51.000 She loved those black players. 0.92

01:13:55.000 I thought you were going to say pigskin. 0.92

01:13:57.000 Oh, yeah.

01:13:59.000 I thought you were going to go with pigskin.

01:14:00.000 Where's he going to go with this one?

01:14:01.000 I tossed you a ball.

01:14:02.000 He didn't have any.

01:14:03.000 That's hard.

01:14:04.000 That's hard.

01:14:05.000 That's a punchline.

01:14:08.000 Let's play that back.

01:14:09.000 Let me redo that.

01:14:12.000 I think I've lit this thing up 14 times.

01:14:14.000 Can I tell you guys how excited I've been doing this?

01:14:17.000 I can't get high like you guys.

01:14:19.000 Yeah, you can. 1.00

01:14:20.000 Just stop being a pussy. 1.00

01:14:21.000 I literally walked out that door like... 1.00

01:14:23.000 Those things are...

01:14:25.000 I don't know why.

01:14:26.000 That's a little stronger than people...

01:14:27.000 That's a lot of lean.

01:14:28.000 That's a wonky joint, too.

01:14:30.000 I've been doing that a little bit every day.

01:14:33.000 Building a tolerance.

01:14:34.000 A little bit.

01:14:36.000 Princess Bride.

01:14:37.000 I don't think it's a tolerance.

01:14:38.000 It puts me in a nice place.

01:14:41.000 Just passed it.

01:14:42.000 Hey, public service announcement. 0.99

01:14:44.000 If somebody hands you a joint and you don't smoke, don't fucking talk about your own smoke. 0.99

01:14:47.000 Public service announcement. 0.99

01:14:48.000 Just fucking pass it on. 0.99

01:14:49.000 Ari Shafir Jew. 0.99

01:14:50.000 It's available right now on YouTube.

01:14:52.000 I was in the middle of a talk on climate change.

01:14:54.000 That guy's talking about the environment.

01:14:56.000 I cut a promo in the middle of a talk.

01:14:58.000 This guy was talking about climate change.

01:15:00.000 He's bringing up charts.

01:15:01.000 I'm setting him up.

01:15:02.000 I'm like, how bad are candles?

01:15:04.000 I'm like, are candles bad?

01:15:05.000 He's like, oh, terrible.

01:15:06.000 Terrible for the environment.

01:15:07.000 I go, interesting.

01:15:08.000 Because Ari Shafir. 0.52

01:15:10.000 That's great.

01:15:11.000 We played a clip with all the candles. 0.99

01:15:13.000 Pigeon holed a promo into a fucking talk with a scientist. 0.99

01:15:16.000 That was great. 0.99

01:15:18.000 You could see him not knowing where to go.

01:15:19.000 He's like, okay.

01:15:21.000 Because up until that moment, I've been totally straight, asking questions.

01:15:24.000 So, what is it about that?

01:15:26.000 And what's causing it?

01:15:27.000 What percentage is this?

01:15:29.000 Yeah.

01:15:30.000 And then we cut to, are you a Jew on YouTube? 0.82

01:15:32.000 And he's sitting there not knowing what to do?

01:15:34.000 What do you say?

01:15:35.000 Okay.

01:15:35.000 Well, the bears are dying.

01:15:37.000 And if you're not Jewish and someone starts talking about Jewish people, right now, people just shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:15:42.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:15:42.000 Just shut the fuck up and let them talk. 1.00

01:15:44.000 Don't interrupt. 1.00

01:15:45.000 Oh yeah, right now.

01:15:46.000 It's hot button.

01:15:47.000 Let them run that weather. 1.00

01:15:49.000 We had the hot oven, now we're on the hot button.

01:15:51.000 Oh, let them go.

01:15:52.000 You gotta promote, you know?

01:15:53.000 Netflix, if you do a Netflix build, I don't think they push you.

01:15:56.000 You know what, man?

01:15:57.000 It's not worth it anymore.

01:15:58.000 If you're a guy like Ari, the best possible way...

01:16:01.000 If you're a guy who can get a big chunk of money like Dave Chappelle, I get it.

01:16:04.000 Or low level.

01:16:05.000 But even if you're low level, if you get on YouTube and people find out about it...

01:16:11.000 If they find out, yeah.

01:16:11.000 But the thing is, it gets demonetized.

01:16:14.000 As long as they're not taking them down, though, your purpose is getting served.

01:16:18.000 YouTube is good about it for stand-up.

01:16:19.000 They should be.

01:16:20.000 They should be.

01:16:21.000 I mean, stand-up is, look, it's just like movies.

01:16:23.000 You know, when Quentin Tarantino has Brad Pitt smashing some girl's face into a mantelpiece, is that really happening?

01:16:29.000 No, it's not happening.

01:16:30.000 Do you still enjoy the movie?

01:16:31.000 Yes, you enjoy the movie.

01:16:32.000 Because it's not real.

01:16:33.000 The same thing with stand-up. 1.00

01:16:34.000 These aren't real opinions, you fucking idiots. 1.00

01:16:35.000 Someone over there explained to me their algorithm in stand-up, where it's like, oh, you said this word, and this is a hate speech, whatever, and they go, look again, it's on stage, like, okay, let it go. 1.00

01:16:44.000 That's good.

01:16:45.000 They're the best ones.

01:16:46.000 Well, that's good.

01:16:47.000 Though they should be.

01:16:48.000 They have a wealth of stand-up material.

01:16:50.000 If you're a comic and you love classic comedy, there's no better place on earth than YouTube.

01:16:55.000 No, you got that right. 0.75

01:16:56.000 Every fucking special that's ever been, all the Kinnison specials, all the Bill Hicks stuff, everything's available. 0.95

01:17:02.000 True, yeah. 0.97

01:17:02.000 You know what I watched the other day? 0.97

01:17:03.000 I watched his...

01:17:04.000 Bill Hicks's...

01:17:05.000 It was like a one-night stand.

01:17:09.000 Remember they used to do those?

01:17:09.000 Oh, I love those.

01:17:10.000 It was like you did a half an hour on HBO. Yeah, on HBO. They called them one-night stands.

01:17:14.000 Where are you going to do your next special?

01:17:15.000 Where are you going to put this one?

01:17:16.000 I don't know, man.

01:17:17.000 YouTube, Joe.

01:17:18.000 I haven't even looked at it.

01:17:18.000 Come to the dark side.

01:17:19.000 I think I might.

01:17:20.000 Come to YouTube.

01:17:20.000 I haven't even looked at it.

01:17:21.000 You could put your own shit out. 0.99

01:17:22.000 You could do your own network, like a Louis thing. 0.99

01:17:23.000 Or I could just put it everywhere for free.

01:17:25.000 Yeah.

01:17:26.000 YouTube.

01:17:27.000 You're broke, right?

01:17:28.000 A hundred million people will see your special.

01:17:29.000 You need some money.

01:17:30.000 A hundred million people will see your hard work.

01:17:32.000 Thank God I don't look at my Twitter inbox.

01:17:36.000 I bet there's some hot ladies in there. 1.00

01:17:38.000 We'll find out, Mark Norman.

01:17:39.000 Look around. 0.62

01:17:40.000 I'll jerk off to that inbox.

01:17:41.000 I'll give you the passage.

01:17:43.000 Please.

01:17:45.000 Yeah, I don't know what to do with my...

01:17:46.000 I haven't even had to...

01:17:48.000 I just wanted to record it.

01:17:49.000 I recorded it, and when I've got a sufficient amount of new material where I can do, like, a new set...

01:17:55.000 Yeah.

01:17:55.000 I've probably got, like, 15 minutes now that seems to be working.

01:17:57.000 Then you'll put it out?

01:17:58.000 Then I'll... 0.97

01:17:59.000 I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do. 0.99

01:18:00.000 I got an angle for your body. 0.99

01:18:01.000 I love being able to do whatever the fuck I want to do. 0.99

01:18:03.000 I'm enjoying that. 0.98

01:18:04.000 I'm enjoying that.

01:18:05.000 People are talking about, like, where's Joe gonna do it?

01:18:07.000 I'm like, they can't offer him enough money...

01:18:10.000 They can't give him $700 million for a special.

01:18:15.000 It's not about the money.

01:18:16.000 It's about what?

01:18:17.000 People saying it?

01:18:18.000 Well, that's one of the reasons why I decided to buy a club.

01:18:21.000 If you were that guy, and you had that kind of money, and you could do something like that, if you were a comic, you'd be like, God, if I had that money, you know what I'd love to do?

01:18:30.000 I'd love to open up a club and do it the right way.

01:18:33.000 But no one ever does it.

01:18:34.000 Right, right, right.

01:18:35.000 So you're supposed to do it.

01:18:37.000 Like, I have to do it.

01:18:38.000 It's like part of the plot.

01:18:41.000 I gotta do it.

01:18:42.000 See, even when I'm there, like we were there today, we were looking around, I don't believe it's real.

01:18:46.000 I'm like, this can't be real.

01:18:47.000 I just have to keep...

01:18:49.000 Keep acting.

01:18:50.000 You gotta get a monocle.

01:18:52.000 Jamie, what are you doing over there?

01:18:53.000 Jamie, what are you doing over there?

01:18:54.000 Jamie, what are you doing over there?

01:18:55.000 Jamie, what are you doing over there?

01:18:56.000 Jamie, what are you doing over there?

01:18:58.000 Jamie, what are you doing over there?

01:19:09.000 Yeah.

01:19:09.000 It's a nice feeling.

01:19:11.000 I mean, it feels good.

01:19:12.000 I don't know how good it is for the listener.

01:19:14.000 They're going to be fine.

01:19:15.000 They're having a great time.

01:19:17.000 They'll be on tomorrow. 0.99

01:19:19.000 If you're a guy who's sitting there with his headphones on doing some menial task, you're in your fucking cores right now. 0.99

01:19:24.000 You're having fun. 0.99

01:19:26.000 Do you guys consume pods?

01:19:27.000 I listen like five a day.

01:19:29.000 Yeah, I've been doing a lot of audiobooks over the last six or seven months, but before that I was really pod-heavy.

01:19:36.000 I've probably listened to six pods total in my life.

01:19:38.000 I really love Tim Dillon.

01:19:39.000 Tim Dillon's one of my favorite guys to listen to.

01:19:41.000 Caparulo on Marin, Liz Fair on this podcast.

01:19:44.000 I'm trying to think what else. 0.81

01:19:46.000 The Mencia ones on Marin, and then maybe a fucking This American Life one, Radio Lab one. 0.99

01:19:51.000 That Mencia one's killer. 1.00

01:19:53.000 Bobby Lee confronted Mencia on an ep, and that was tense.

01:19:58.000 He calls him out.

01:20:00.000 It's fun.

01:20:02.000 Bobby Lee's funny, huh?

01:20:04.000 It's funny, dude.

01:20:05.000 I hope you put something out.

01:20:07.000 He's been saying he's going to.

01:20:08.000 It's not gonna happen.

01:20:09.000 It's not his style.

01:20:09.000 He's putting stuff out on his podcast.

01:20:11.000 What, is he gonna put his dick? 0.99

01:20:12.000 Yeah, he's definitely doing that, too. 1.00

01:20:13.000 Well, that's a closer, right?

01:20:15.000 I don't want to give it away.

01:20:18.000 Go see Bobby Lee.

01:20:22.000 Or not.

01:20:22.000 We might have ate too many mushrooms.

01:20:24.000 Yeah, we ate too many mushrooms, dude. 0.98

01:20:27.000 This sucks. 0.91

01:20:28.000 I'm just getting started. 0.99

01:20:29.000 No, no, no.

01:20:30.000 We'll get through this.

01:20:31.000 Don't be scared.

01:20:32.000 I think we can drink our way out of this.

01:20:34.000 You got that right.

01:20:34.000 I think we definitely can.

01:20:36.000 When Bryan Simpson was challenging you to a drinking contest, I was scared for him.

01:20:40.000 He was trying to egg him on.

01:20:42.000 He was going with it, man.

01:20:43.000 He was going with it.

01:20:44.000 He said he could do one shot for every Bud Light I drank. 0.99

01:20:51.000 Goddamn crazy that is. 1.00

01:20:53.000 He would die. 1.00

01:20:54.000 But Brian is game.

01:20:55.000 He was ready to go.

01:20:56.000 He was ready to go.

01:20:57.000 He's a Marine.

01:20:58.000 I was like, you're a Marine, dude.

01:20:59.000 Of course you could.

01:20:59.000 He dug his heels in.

01:21:01.000 He dug his heels in and he was ready to go.

01:21:03.000 Are we wearing sunglasses?

01:21:04.000 I knew you guys were going to do this.

01:21:05.000 The room's getting a little fuzzy.

01:21:07.000 Hold on.

01:21:07.000 You know what I mean?

01:21:08.000 You brought those chocolates out and I said, this is not gonna...

01:21:11.000 She's got the dice glasses? 1.00

01:21:13.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:21:14.000 Anthony Aiden, Bobby Kelly hooked me up with this guy in New York.

01:21:17.000 I was gonna say, you look like Bobby Kelly.

01:21:20.000 I saw Bobby had them.

01:21:22.000 Bobby had a pair of them.

01:21:23.000 Bobby's glasses are beautiful.

01:21:25.000 He's like, oh, I'll connect you.

01:21:26.000 Bobby did a cycle.

01:21:28.000 There it is.

01:21:30.000 Look at that.

01:21:31.000 He's got to do more than one.

01:21:33.000 Bobby looks good.

01:21:34.000 Bobby looks great.

01:21:35.000 He looks great. 0.91

01:21:35.000 He got it sucked right out of him. 0.91

01:21:37.000 Yeah, it's nice to see he's getting healthy.

01:21:39.000 He's got a special out.

01:21:40.000 Yes, he does.

01:21:41.000 Killbox.

01:21:42.000 We were talking about the little room at the mothership.

01:21:46.000 That's going to be a kill box.

01:21:47.000 That's where I got the name. 0.52

01:21:48.000 Good looking room.

01:21:49.000 Him and Louie came up with that concept because Louie was like, what kind of room do you like to work in? 1.00

01:21:54.000 He's like, just a fucking kill box. 0.99

01:21:57.000 Just tight, low ceiling. 1.00

01:21:58.000 And so they just made that.

01:22:00.000 That wasn't even at a comedy club.

01:22:02.000 They put that all together.

01:22:02.000 Really?

01:22:03.000 Somewhere in Tampa.

01:22:03.000 What?

01:22:04.000 And during his first show, he's taping two shows, taping two specials. 1.00

01:22:08.000 During his first taping, a woman has a fucking seizure. 1.00

01:22:14.000 Whoa! 1.00

01:22:15.000 He said he's two minutes in with his acting.

01:22:17.000 Seizure.

01:22:18.000 Somebody help her! 1.00

01:22:20.000 Help her! 1.00

01:22:21.000 He's like, what?

01:22:22.000 What?

01:22:23.000 Julius Caesar.

01:22:24.000 And so they take this lady away, and then he continues.

01:22:27.000 That's actually what he was named after.

01:22:28.000 Julius Caesar?

01:22:29.000 Is that right?

01:22:29.000 Yeah, he had it.

01:22:30.000 He had a Caesar?

01:22:31.000 Yeah, I can't.

01:22:32.000 I'm out, dude.

01:22:33.000 I can't talk.

01:22:34.000 Is that a joke or no?

01:22:35.000 No, I'm serious.

01:22:36.000 No, I think he is.

01:22:37.000 I think it's named after him.

01:22:38.000 Julius Caesar was epileptic.

01:22:39.000 What about the salad?

01:22:40.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:22:41.000 It's spelled the same way.

01:22:42.000 He didn't get stabbed?

01:22:42.000 Is the salad him?

01:22:43.000 Did he do the salad?

01:22:44.000 I don't know about the salad.

01:22:45.000 All right.

01:22:46.000 Check out the salad there, J-Mo.

01:22:47.000 You would think that someone who ran the Roman Empire would get a better salad.

01:22:51.000 Yeah.

01:22:51.000 Yeah, it's not a bad salad.

01:22:53.000 It's not a good salad.

01:22:54.000 It's a pretty good salad.

01:22:55.000 It's like the best salad.

01:22:55.000 It's not a hall of fame salad.

01:22:56.000 It's a pretty good salad.

01:22:57.000 Alright.

01:22:57.000 I never feel like I'm getting nutrients.

01:22:59.000 Seizures!

01:23:00.000 He suffered from seizures.

01:23:01.000 See these puns.

01:23:02.000 Related to epilepsy.

01:23:03.000 Whoa, you're right.

01:23:04.000 I thought you were joking.

01:23:05.000 No.

01:23:05.000 Oh my god.

01:23:07.000 I don't joke.

01:23:07.000 I don't talk about history and jokes anymore.

01:23:10.000 No way!

01:23:11.000 Is that why they stabbed him?

01:23:13.000 Dude, I totally thought you were joking.

01:23:15.000 They stabbed an EpiPen into him? 0.99

01:23:17.000 I thought, I'm like, he's being silly. 0.91

01:23:19.000 Hey, John, you got an EpiPen? 0.96

01:23:21.000 No?

01:23:21.000 You know why?

01:23:23.000 Because that's exactly what Tony Hinchcliffe would have done.

01:23:25.000 That's like a Tony Hinchcliffe line.

01:23:27.000 What, that's how they came up with it?

01:23:28.000 Yeah, that's crazy.

01:23:30.000 Wow.

01:23:30.000 I would have never guessed that.

01:23:31.000 What about the salad?

01:23:32.000 So yeah, who came up with the salad?

01:23:34.000 The salad started in Mexico.

01:23:35.000 Caesar salad.

01:23:36.000 Oh, I like that sweater.

01:23:38.000 Clever.

01:23:39.000 Oh, I see.

01:23:40.000 Tijuana even, maybe, I think. 0.99

01:23:42.000 Oh shit, Caesar salad started in Tijuana. 1.00

01:23:44.000 That's crazy. 1.00

01:23:45.000 We haven't had an assassination in a while.

01:23:46.000 Pat Tao started by a white guy's norm.

01:23:48.000 It just took us on a dark turn.

01:23:50.000 Well, we used to have assassinations like once every eight years or so.

01:23:53.000 We haven't had one.

01:23:53.000 Yeah, see, you stand up, you walk around, you start looking around.

01:23:56.000 Tijuana, Mexico.

01:23:57.000 Ari, stay seated.

01:24:01.000 Don't get up. 1.00

01:24:02.000 The levels is when you get fucked up. 0.99

01:24:04.000 I had to piss but it did go away. 0.99

01:24:05.000 I stood up and I went to the bathroom and I thought I heard your dog crying and I looked for your dog in the bathroom for a long time.

01:24:11.000 Your wife's here? 1.00

01:24:12.000 I was like, bandit?

01:24:14.000 Caesar salad invented in Tijuana, Mexico in the 1920s.

01:24:18.000 A green salad of romaine with a highly seasoned dressing of pounded anchovies, olive oil, lemon juice, egg, and Parmesan cheese.

01:24:28.000 I'm reading ingredients of a salad on a podcast.

01:24:31.000 I'm getting excited.

01:24:32.000 Okay, hearts and palms.

01:24:34.000 I got hungry.

01:24:35.000 I changed my tune halfway through.

01:24:37.000 I was like, I love a Caesar salad. 0.99

01:24:38.000 Have you ever taken drugs and just stared at this fucking ceiling alone? 1.00

01:24:40.000 Don't do it, the Constellations! 1.00

01:24:42.000 Maybe the Indians were on some peyote or eating some leaves or some shit when they were looking up at the stars. 1.00

01:24:48.000 100%. 0.99

01:24:48.000 Everybody was. 0.99

01:24:49.000 Every culture that had access to psychedelic drugs took them.

01:24:54.000 They all did.

01:24:54.000 No one was like, hey, this is not good for our productivity or our hunting and gathering.

01:24:59.000 Let's leave these alone.

01:25:00.000 Nobody left them alone.

01:25:01.000 They all did.

01:25:02.000 They had rituals, man.

01:25:03.000 Oh, yeah.

01:25:04.000 Bro, you know what I just saw?

01:25:05.000 Uh-oh.

01:25:06.000 Did you see that Viking movie?

01:25:08.000 Yeah, Northman.

01:25:09.000 Oh, that was great.

01:25:10.000 I saw someone else's seat on a plane.

01:25:13.000 I had no idea it was that hardcore.

01:25:15.000 Yeah, that was an intense one. 0.99

01:25:16.000 That movie is fucking hardcore. 1.00

01:25:19.000 It's true shit, too. 1.00

01:25:20.000 That's how they lived. 1.00

01:25:21.000 Sabers.

01:25:23.000 That was a hot guy, too.

01:25:24.000 He was a hot guy.

01:25:25.000 I heard it was good, but I really didn't expect that. 0.98

01:25:30.000 He's lucky I wasn't one of those villagers that he raped. 0.99

01:25:32.000 Yeah. 0.93

01:25:35.000 You know what's great about that movie, too?

01:25:37.000 I thought it was just laying in a hut.

01:25:38.000 There was no one that had our morals.

01:25:42.000 No morals.

01:25:43.000 There was no, like...

01:25:44.000 Sam Morrill.

01:25:46.000 Hey, before I get too far, just note, you should have a bathroom right out here. 1.00

01:25:50.000 Hold on, I got one.

01:25:51.000 It's literally down the hall.

01:25:52.000 You should build a...

01:25:53.000 I know, but you should build one right there. 1.00

01:25:54.000 Take a walk, bitch. 1.00

01:25:55.000 Wouldn't it be nice, though, you're laying on your hay, and they're like, the Vikings are coming, we're all gonna get raped. 1.00

01:26:01.000 You're like, fuck, and then the door swings open, it's that guy, you're like... 1.00

01:26:03.000 Alright. 1.00

01:26:04.000 That's true, you could do worse.

01:26:05.000 Not that bad, honestly.

01:26:06.000 I'm pretty glad you're the guy. 0.99

01:26:07.000 My arch fear is so fucked up by mushrooms, he can't walk 20 paces. 0.99

01:26:11.000 Yeah, right? 0.99

01:26:13.000 It's hard.

01:26:14.000 Kidman.

01:26:14.000 Why don't I have a bathroom right here?

01:26:15.000 Dude, this movie's the shit. 1.00

01:26:17.000 It's really good. 1.00

01:26:18.000 Oh, is that Willem Dafoe? 0.88

01:26:19.000 He's got a huge hog.

01:26:20.000 This is a very intense movie.

01:26:22.000 Give that a goob, J-Mo. 0.99

01:26:25.000 Ethan Hawke's in it, too.

01:26:27.000 Oh, yeah.

01:26:27.000 Hawke's good.

01:26:28.000 Bro, it's a wild-ass movie.

01:26:30.000 Wild.

01:26:30.000 I liked it.

01:26:31.000 It'd be bombed in theaters.

01:26:33.000 It shouldn't have...

01:26:34.000 Everything bombs in theaters now. 1.00

01:26:36.000 But it's like, you know, watch this shit at home. 1.00

01:26:39.000 It's worth watching. 1.00

01:26:40.000 I enjoyed it, yeah.

01:26:41.000 Because I was kind of skeptical going into it.

01:26:43.000 I was like, is this going to be like a television show about Vikings?

01:26:47.000 No, but it's just enough fantasy and...

01:26:52.000 Just ruthless reality.

01:26:54.000 And no one is a normal person of today in that movie.

01:26:58.000 They all represent those kind of people that were just sword fighting and dying out there.

01:27:04.000 The way they talked, the way they behaved, everyone was sketchy. 0.99

01:27:07.000 It was a wild fucking movie. 0.99

01:27:10.000 It was a good movie, man. 1.00

01:27:11.000 It was a really good movie because it was...

01:27:13.000 It wasn't a, you know, 2022 person in the Viking era.

01:27:18.000 Yeah.

01:27:18.000 They nailed it.

01:27:19.000 You know what's weird is whenever you see a movie without phones, you don't think about it.

01:27:23.000 You're not like, where are the phones?

01:27:24.000 You just enjoy the movie.

01:27:25.000 Right.

01:27:26.000 And you never dream with your phone either.

01:27:28.000 What?

01:27:28.000 Like, you never ever dream where you're on your phone.

01:27:30.000 Yeah.

01:27:31.000 But we're on our phones eight hours a day, but we still don't really...

01:27:33.000 Wait, you're talking about there's no phones in the movie about Vikings?

01:27:36.000 Well, I'm just saying, you don't... 1.00

01:27:37.000 Is that what the fuck you just said? 1.00

01:27:39.000 I'm saying, you watch a... 1.00

01:27:41.000 Well, obviously.

01:27:43.000 Oh, what?

01:27:44.000 But I'm saying, if you watch a movie now, there's no phones in it.

01:27:45.000 Are you trying to defend that?

01:27:46.000 I'm trying to catch up.

01:27:48.000 He's trying to defend it.

01:27:49.000 I'm saying, obviously there's no phones in a Viking movie, but if you watch a movie made today, and there's not a lot of phones in it, you don't go, where are the phones?

01:27:57.000 It's just a movie.

01:28:00.000 I'm telling you.

01:28:01.000 That is true.

01:28:01.000 That makes sense.

01:28:02.000 If you do watch a movie today about today, and no one's on their phone.

01:28:04.000 If you watch every show, everybody should be looking at their phone the entire time.

01:28:07.000 That should be the whole show.

01:28:08.000 Yeah, you're right.

01:28:09.000 My tweet got a tweet, whatever, you know?

01:28:11.000 It's so weird when you go to a bar and you see everyone on their phone.

01:28:15.000 Everyone.

01:28:16.000 It's so strange.

01:28:17.000 New York subway, it's just phone, phone, phone.

01:28:19.000 It's wild.

01:28:20.000 Everyone's just paying attention to something else other than what's in front of them.

01:28:23.000 I know.

01:28:24.000 And you can't help it.

01:28:25.000 You can't.

01:28:26.000 It's like a little magnet.

01:28:27.000 You were doing it last night in the green room.

01:28:28.000 A little magnet to your brain.

01:28:29.000 I feel like we lost you.

01:28:29.000 Yeah, it's hard.

01:28:30.000 I get my notes on my phone too.

01:28:32.000 Ah, the phone notes.

01:28:34.000 I use paper.

01:28:35.000 He's actually writing.

01:28:36.000 Sure, writing.

01:28:37.000 Do you write on paper?

01:28:38.000 I do.

01:28:38.000 Yeah?

01:28:39.000 That's a good move.

01:28:40.000 That's crazy.

01:28:41.000 They do say that when you write on paper that you...

01:28:44.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

01:28:45.000 Look at this wad.

01:28:46.000 Don't read those.

01:28:47.000 Folks, look at this joke.

01:28:48.000 We'll do some editing.

01:28:49.000 That's Norman.

01:28:50.000 This is amazing. 1.00

01:28:50.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:28:51.000 I can't believe you carry this around with me. 1.00

01:28:53.000 90% of it.

01:28:54.000 Bro, you're going to get a bad back.

01:28:55.000 Oh, I got a bad sciatica. 1.00

01:28:57.000 Yeah, that's from sitting on this, you dumb fuck. 1.00

01:29:00.000 I just called it. 1.00

01:29:03.000 My wallet's the same way.

01:29:05.000 My wallet's on the other side.

01:29:06.000 This is his notes that were in one of his back pockets.

01:29:11.000 And I go, bro, you're going to get a bad back.

01:29:13.000 This is like the Dead Sea Scrolls.

01:29:18.000 He's not doing this by accident.

01:29:20.000 This is real.

01:29:21.000 That's the Koran. 0.91

01:29:22.000 It's got blue sweat from his blue jeans.

01:29:25.000 No, don't throw it out.

01:29:26.000 Look at the blue sweat from his blue jeans.

01:29:28.000 Oh my god.

01:29:29.000 Bro, you've been wearing these in the summer.

01:29:31.000 Easy, I need those.

01:29:33.000 That's my new hour.

01:29:34.000 Loose notes? 1.00

01:29:35.000 Bro, you're a crazy person. 1.00

01:29:38.000 Yeah, that's psycho. 1.00

01:29:38.000 FBI should look in your basement immediately. 1.00

01:29:40.000 About 99% of that doesn't work. 1.00

01:29:42.000 Yeah, no shit. 0.99

01:29:43.000 That's like fucking five hours of material. 1.00

01:29:45.000 That's the craziest way of talking, Norman. 1.00

01:29:48.000 That is the fucking craziest way. 0.99

01:29:52.000 Of, like, marking and writing down your material I've ever seen, ever. 0.99

01:29:55.000 And I've seen a lot.

01:29:56.000 It's the newest one.

01:29:56.000 You can tell that the newest one is the new material.

01:29:59.000 They're not as tattered.

01:30:00.000 Exactly.

01:30:01.000 This is the good one.

01:30:02.000 You get the good one. 1.00

01:30:03.000 That's the new shit. 1.00

01:30:04.000 Dude, you need a fanny pack just to carry those around with you. 1.00

01:30:07.000 No, fanny pack. 0.99

01:30:09.000 What am I, gay? 0.99

01:30:10.000 Hey.

01:30:12.000 Front pocket.

01:30:13.000 Go front pocket for sure.

01:30:14.000 You shouldn't be scared of a fanny pocket.

01:30:16.000 I know you like the fanny.

01:30:16.000 It's ultimate freedom.

01:30:18.000 Dude, when you piss on Fungi, it's fucking, your dick is so small. 1.00

01:30:22.000 It's all weirdy plastic leathery. 1.00

01:30:23.000 It's leather.

01:30:24.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

01:30:25.000 Fungi does rule, though.

01:30:26.000 It's high quality.

01:30:27.000 It's from a company called Roots in Canada.

01:30:28.000 Oh, that's nice.

01:30:29.000 Oh, it's very well done.

01:30:30.000 Good band.

01:30:31.000 Dice had one.

01:30:32.000 Oh, really?

01:30:32.000 That's how I got this.

01:30:33.000 Yeah, we sell them on higherprimate.com because of Dice.

01:30:37.000 Dice came in with sweatpants on, and I've always been a fanny pack enthusiast.

01:30:42.000 I go, that's the nicest fanny pack I've ever seen.

01:30:44.000 I go, where'd you get that?

01:30:45.000 You like this?

01:30:46.000 You like this?

01:30:48.000 Have you seen what Dice is doing on Instagram?

01:30:52.000 Oh yeah, it's great.

01:30:53.000 Oh my god!

01:30:56.000 I don't have time for a picture right now.

01:30:58.000 Just go up to random people.

01:31:01.000 Oh, did you want a picture?

01:31:02.000 I mean, I could if I had to.

01:31:05.000 It's kind of cold outside.

01:31:06.000 That's great.

01:31:07.000 It's amazing.

01:31:08.000 He just keeps doing it. 0.96

01:31:09.000 He's shameless. 0.82

01:31:11.000 He did that to me years ago, and I thought he was serious. 0.96

01:31:13.000 I didn't know he was drunk.

01:31:14.000 I felt bad for that. 0.97

01:31:15.000 He's the original troll.

01:31:16.000 It was not Milo. 1.00

01:31:16.000 He is a troll. 1.00

01:31:17.000 Oh, he's the best troll. 1.00

01:31:18.000 Because he was a troll that filled arenas. 0.82

01:31:21.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:31:22.000 He was filling fucking arenas. 1.00

01:31:23.000 With a character. 1.00

01:31:24.000 And he's just as happy now being a troll.

01:31:27.000 Listen, play some of this. 0.71

01:31:29.000 I'm not your driver.

01:31:30.000 Sorry.

01:31:32.000 Hold on.

01:31:32.000 Play it from the beginning.

01:31:33.000 Hold on.

01:31:33.000 Play it from the beginning.

01:31:36.000 Yeah, hi.

01:31:38.000 You are the driver that was waiting for the picture?

01:31:41.000 No, no.

01:31:42.000 I'm not a driver, sorry.

01:31:44.000 They told me because of the hat.

01:31:48.000 You're wearing the yellow hat from my film.

01:31:52.000 I'm not a driver.

01:31:54.000 No, the picture.

01:31:56.000 You wanted the picture?

01:31:59.000 Totally awesome, 80s.

01:32:00.000 I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you're talking about.

01:32:03.000 That guy's terrified.

01:32:04.000 He's being very nice.

01:32:06.000 He has to be.

01:32:07.000 Dice is a big guy.

01:32:09.000 True.

01:32:09.000 You have this big guy that just might mollywop you in the middle of New York City.

01:32:13.000 Mollywop, what a great term. 1.00

01:32:15.000 Brought it back.

01:32:16.000 That's a solid one.

01:32:18.000 No one's even said that since the 80s.

01:32:19.000 I've never heard it.

01:32:20.000 That's great.

01:32:21.000 Mollywop.

01:32:23.000 That's a good one.

01:32:25.000 That's a protect our neighborhood.

01:32:27.000 Speaking of psychedelics, remember when the South Park guys went to the Oscars on acid?

01:32:31.000 Seeing the blink was the best.

01:32:34.000 They're legends.

01:32:36.000 They're so important for the state of comedy because they can get away...

01:32:41.000 Like Kyle Dunnigan and Kurt Metzger, what they can do with the face swaps.

01:32:45.000 We were talking about it last night.

01:32:46.000 There's something about something not being real.

01:32:49.000 You can get away with so much more.

01:32:50.000 With South Park and with the face swap thing.

01:32:54.000 Because it doesn't look at all like real people.

01:32:56.000 Like, you know it's not really Bill Maher.

01:32:59.000 But it's hilarious.

01:33:01.000 Or the Jeff Goldblum one or the Stallone one. 0.96

01:33:04.000 They're fucking hilarious. 0.94

01:33:05.000 Stallone's the best. 1.00

01:33:05.000 And he can have these people saying the most outrageous shit. 1.00

01:33:09.000 Because it seems one step off from reality. 1.00

01:33:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:33:12.000 Damn, Ari. 1.00

01:33:13.000 That's a giant advantage. 1.00

01:33:14.000 You ate a bunch of those.

01:33:15.000 I was lying.

01:33:16.000 I didn't eat as many.

01:33:17.000 I can't believe you ate that many.

01:33:19.000 How much did you eat?

01:33:20.000 More.

01:33:21.000 I only had a couple.

01:33:22.000 How many did you have?

01:33:22.000 More.

01:33:24.000 Yeah, you're in trouble.

01:33:25.000 We need you, you see?

01:33:26.000 This is a bad pie.

01:33:26.000 Just hang in there.

01:33:27.000 Don't think about it.

01:33:28.000 You don't think about it.

01:33:28.000 Don't think about how high you are.

01:33:30.000 You don't fucking think about it. 1.00

01:33:32.000 Just go with it. 0.99

01:33:33.000 Jamie, call the picture of how many views of my special host.

01:33:35.000 4.5 million.

01:33:36.000 I don't know.

01:33:37.000 Oh, man. 1.00

01:33:38.000 Damn. 1.00

01:33:39.000 Don't be fucking lame, dude. 1.00

01:33:40.000 You're right. 1.00

01:33:41.000 He's really living in that moment.

01:33:42.000 Did you think the Chappelle monologue was anti-Sem?

01:33:45.000 I didn't see it.

01:33:46.000 I don't know.

01:33:46.000 I assume it's fine.

01:33:48.000 I didn't catch it, but people saying that.

01:33:49.000 I assume it's a comic because there's no problem at all.

01:33:51.000 I don't know.

01:33:51.000 I liked it.

01:33:52.000 I thought the whole thing in the beginning was hilarious.

01:33:54.000 Yeah, I thought it was very funny.

01:33:55.000 Where he reads this thing, I do not support anti-Semitism in any way, shape, or form, and that, Kanye West, is how you buy yourself some time.

01:34:02.000 I love it.

01:34:03.000 It's very funny.

01:34:03.000 I love the Ferguson joke.

01:34:04.000 It's genius!

01:34:05.000 Was anybody actually upset? 0.99

01:34:07.000 That was a whole fucking headline. 0.99

01:34:08.000 20 people, and then everyone's arguing about the 20 people that are fake upset. 0.99

01:34:11.000 Yeah, no one cares.

01:34:11.000 No one cares.

01:34:12.000 Well, we're living in a weird world where everybody can have an opinion.

01:34:16.000 And if there's a thing that is in somehow, way, shape, or form connected to anything controversial, there's going to be people that get upset about it.

01:34:23.000 Dave Chappelle is the number one stand-up talking about Jews today. 0.99

01:34:26.000 I give you a pass.

01:34:28.000 It's over.

01:34:29.000 You're not anti-Semitic.

01:34:30.000 It is over.

01:34:31.000 Go on with your life, Dave Chappelle.

01:34:32.000 4.5 million.

01:34:35.000 That's a lot of views. 1.00

01:34:37.000 That's worse than the fucking picture I posted, you bitch. 1.00

01:34:40.000 Ari's lost. 1.00

01:34:41.000 He's lost in a world of success and mushrooms.

01:34:43.000 I hate it.

01:34:44.000 I hate seeing success.

01:34:45.000 You gotta drink past these shrooms, man.

01:34:46.000 Do you like Angry Ari better? 1.00

01:34:48.000 True.

01:34:48.000 You're more of a fan of Angry Ari?

01:34:50.000 Yeah.

01:34:51.000 Well, Sad Ari was better.

01:34:52.000 I like Sad Ari.

01:34:53.000 Sad Ari was always down to talk. 1.00

01:34:55.000 Kept your mouth shut. 0.99

01:34:56.000 Yeah, now his phone's on fucking silent and he goes, he's like, what? 1.00

01:35:00.000 Brings his dog places. 0.98

01:35:01.000 I can't wait to see Ari posing with no shirt on, wearing a fur coat, getting on a Lear chair. 1.00

01:35:06.000 I constantly post on my shirt on.

01:35:09.000 No shirt, fur coat.

01:35:10.000 Don't defend this.

01:35:12.000 It's McGregor.

01:35:12.000 No shirt, fur coat, getting on a private jet.

01:35:16.000 Somebody photoshopped me an O'Connor McGregor picture.

01:35:19.000 What are you doing?

01:35:21.000 Bro, have you seen Conor McGregor's latest pictures?

01:35:23.000 It's great.

01:35:24.000 Pull him up.

01:35:24.000 If I was USADA, I'd be like, when does this guy get back on the test?

01:35:29.000 Was he fighting him?

01:35:31.000 No, no.

01:35:31.000 USADA is the U.S. anti-doping agent.

01:35:34.000 I thought it was a guy too. 1.00

01:35:36.000 Is he fighting that fucking Muslim? 1.00

01:35:39.000 Usman. 1.00

01:35:40.000 You're thinking Usman.

01:35:40.000 No, no.

01:35:41.000 What's the other name?

01:35:43.000 Islam.

01:35:43.000 Islam Makachev.

01:35:44.000 He's fun.

01:35:45.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:35:46.000 He's fighting Volkanovski.

01:35:48.000 That'll be fun.

01:35:49.000 Volkanovski's the man.

01:35:50.000 He's so funny.

01:35:51.000 That's a wild little fight.

01:35:52.000 Connor's been killing on Twitter, though.

01:35:53.000 Really?

01:35:54.000 Oh my god.

01:35:55.000 He's so funny.

01:35:55.000 He's an animal.

01:35:56.000 He's so funny.

01:35:57.000 He never stops.

01:35:58.000 He's clearly intoxicated. 1.00

01:36:00.000 He's having a great time, saying some funny shit. 0.99

01:36:02.000 The funny things are listening to him talk because, you know, he's from Dublin. 0.99

01:36:07.000 And when he gets drunk and starts talking, look how jacked he is.

01:36:10.000 Wait, that's him?

01:36:11.000 No.

01:36:12.000 Yes, 100%.

01:36:12.000 I thought that was Cyril Ghosn.

01:36:14.000 Oh my god.

01:36:15.000 Yeah, he's roommates with the liver king.

01:36:16.000 Proper 12. What the fuck? 1.00

01:36:20.000 Look at that photo. 1.00

01:36:22.000 Look at that photo.

01:36:25.000 Wow.

01:36:26.000 That's not real.

01:36:27.000 Also, this video of him from here, that's good, but go to the other one from behind, the next one back.

01:36:32.000 The next photo.

01:36:33.000 Look at this.

01:36:34.000 Look at the size of him.

01:36:35.000 Great caboose.

01:36:36.000 Look at the size of him. 1.00

01:36:37.000 You should see his dick. 1.00

01:36:38.000 His dick's in every photo, too. 1.00

01:36:40.000 Is that right? 1.00

01:36:40.000 He loves posting a fucking, kind of a boner in every photo. 1.00

01:36:43.000 Bro, look at the size of that guy. 1.00

01:36:45.000 He's in my wife's DMs.

01:36:46.000 He looks like, hey!

01:36:47.000 He's 200 plus pounds.

01:36:49.000 He's got a mask, Joe.

01:36:50.000 Get him.

01:36:50.000 He's a man.

01:36:51.000 He's recovering from a terrible injury, though.

01:36:54.000 That's why it's taking so long, and that's probably why he's...

01:36:57.000 Working his upper body.

01:36:58.000 Yes.

01:36:59.000 Getting thick.

01:37:00.000 He broke his leg.

01:37:01.000 Broke his leg in a fight.

01:37:03.000 Yeah, both broke.

01:37:04.000 Oh, yeah, against Poirier.

01:37:05.000 That's what he was yelling at.

01:37:06.000 Oh, that thing. 0.93

01:37:07.000 In the fibula, both of them snapped, so it's a horrific injury to recover from.

01:37:12.000 Jamie, you did that on purpose, you dog.

01:37:14.000 That's a cup.

01:37:16.000 Jamie, you dog.

01:37:17.000 He's wearing a cup, I believe. 1.00

01:37:18.000 Look at the legs on that motherfucker. 1.00

01:37:20.000 Jesus! 1.00

01:37:21.000 That would hurt your dick, chief-wise. 1.00

01:37:23.000 Focus on that. 1.00

01:37:23.000 So that left leg, that's the one that broke, and it's jacked as fuck now. 1.00

01:37:28.000 Yeah, keep those kids on. 1.00

01:37:29.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:37:31.000 Go down. 1.00

01:37:32.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:37:33.000 It's a cup. 1.00

01:37:34.000 It's a cup.

01:37:34.000 It is a cup.

01:37:35.000 World Cup.

01:37:36.000 No, get him in his street clubs.

01:37:37.000 It's so funny. 0.96

01:37:38.000 He literally always has a boner. 0.88

01:37:40.000 Really? 0.51

01:37:41.000 I mean, it just looks like it.

01:37:42.000 It's funny.

01:37:43.000 I took a blue tube before this. 0.94

01:37:44.000 There was a weigh-in where it looked like he had a boner. 0.71

01:37:47.000 One of his weigh-ins.

01:37:47.000 It always does.

01:37:48.000 It's very funny.

01:37:49.000 He's having fun.

01:37:50.000 He's living life.

01:37:51.000 He's a wild boy.

01:37:52.000 There it is.

01:37:53.000 Wait!

01:37:54.000 What? 1.00

01:37:54.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:37:56.000 He had a boner. 1.00

01:37:58.000 Oh, that's a flopper. 0.96

01:38:00.000 That's a flopper. 1.00

01:38:00.000 That might just be his regular penis, dude. 1.00

01:38:03.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:38:04.000 I got one of those.

01:38:04.000 It might actually be hard.

01:38:07.000 No.

01:38:07.000 Imagine if he's that savage that he gets a bow.

01:38:11.000 It was the McGregor fight.

01:38:13.000 It wasn't even...

01:38:13.000 Or the Mayweather.

01:38:15.000 What's up with these...

01:38:16.000 He wanted to win that fight.

01:38:17.000 What do you say?

01:38:18.000 That was a money grab, baby.

01:38:19.000 Dude, it was a money grab, but he tried to win that fight.

01:38:22.000 He thought he could win.

01:38:23.000 He actually landed.

01:38:25.000 He caught him with an uppercut.

01:38:27.000 McGregor's the man.

01:38:28.000 Yeah, McGregor's the man, obviously.

01:38:29.000 Those Paul guys are winning fights.

01:38:31.000 Ken Lewis Gomez wins.

01:38:33.000 Paul guys are winning fights.

01:38:34.000 Dude, Jake Paul is 100% legit.

01:38:38.000 Yeah.

01:38:39.000 Knock down Anderson Silva.

01:38:40.000 That's the end of the discussion. 0.97

01:38:41.000 That's insane.

01:38:41.000 I don't care if Silva's 47 years old.

01:38:44.000 Who cares?

01:38:44.000 He agreed to it.

01:38:45.000 He boxes very well.

01:38:46.000 He still moves very well.

01:38:48.000 And just the skill level alone, the fact that he was able to catch him and knock him down, that's a big deal. 0.99

01:38:53.000 Damn. 0.99

01:38:54.000 It's the end of an era. 1.00

01:38:55.000 It's a big deal.

01:38:56.000 It's an end of an era for sure, but it's also like, that guy's a legit fighter.

01:38:59.000 He's not just a YouTube guy.

01:39:01.000 He moves like a fighter.

01:39:02.000 You watch him in fights, he's not boxing like some guy.

01:39:06.000 When will he fight like a current young fighter?

01:39:08.000 Oh, Tyron Woodley.

01:39:10.000 No, no, but someone like 30. What is this?

01:39:14.000 Jake Paul offered Paddy the baddie $1 million to spar and Pimblet didn't back down.

01:39:20.000 But he's way bigger than him.

01:39:21.000 This weekend he'll spar him on Monday.

01:39:24.000 Pimblet's like 5'4 or something.

01:39:26.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:39:27.000 He gets up to like 200 pounds.

01:39:28.000 What?

01:39:29.000 He balloons.

01:39:31.000 He balloons.

01:39:31.000 He's a really good grappler.

01:39:33.000 The difference between the two of them is like boxing.

01:39:36.000 Paddy is, you know, he's got good hands for sure.

01:39:39.000 He's a good striker.

01:39:40.000 Cute kid.

01:39:41.000 Beautiful, beautiful kid.

01:39:43.000 But if he gets you to the ground, he's nasty.

01:39:46.000 Really badass submission.

01:39:48.000 So if they're not going to fight an MMA fight...

01:39:51.000 To spar, though.

01:39:53.000 Yeah, but if they're going to fight, dude...

01:39:55.000 Fight!

01:39:57.000 If you're calling it sparring, and you're gonna film it, and everyone's gonna watch it, and you're gonna do one round, come on, you wanna spar me?

01:40:04.000 I'll give you a million dollars to spar me. 0.97

01:40:06.000 Yeah, both those guys are psychos. 0.75

01:40:07.000 What you're doing is you're having an unsanctioned fight. 0.56

01:40:09.000 This guy's paying you a million dollars to have an unsanctioned fight. 1.00

01:40:13.000 Damn! 1.00

01:40:14.000 You can call it sparring. 1.00

01:40:16.000 Let's call it sparring. 0.97

01:40:17.000 No!

01:40:17.000 You wouldn't fight Jake?

01:40:18.000 No! 0.99

01:40:19.000 You could kick him. 1.00

01:40:19.000 Dude, that guy would fuck me up. 1.00

01:40:21.000 He's good, dude. 0.99

01:40:22.000 He's a good boxer.

01:40:23.000 He can fight, man.

01:40:24.000 I tell you.

01:40:25.000 He's a big, dangerous, young fellow.

01:40:27.000 And he hits hard.

01:40:29.000 He's knocked out Ben Askren, Tyron Woodley, knocked down Anderson Silva.

01:40:34.000 That's a big deal, man.

01:40:36.000 That guy can crack.

01:40:37.000 What's with the legs breaking?

01:40:38.000 Didn't O'Malley's leg break?

01:40:40.000 No, he got kicked in the leg into, what's it called?

01:40:44.000 Perineal nerve, that was it called?

01:40:46.000 And that nerve shut off his foot.

01:40:48.000 His foot just stopped working.

01:40:50.000 And he started getting this, it's called like drop foot.

01:40:53.000 And he actually did commentary for the video while it was happening.

01:40:58.000 That was the last one.

01:40:59.000 You can't help yourself!

01:41:00.000 That was it.

01:41:01.000 That was the last one.

01:41:03.000 Let me write that one down.

01:41:04.000 I'm trying so hard to keep it together.

01:41:07.000 That's why I didn't work on the leaves, too.

01:41:09.000 Better be on a speed date.

01:41:10.000 So Sean O'Malley, he did like a play-by-play with that fight, and you could see his foot go numb.

01:41:16.000 It's just like he's just dragging his foot around, and he can't stand on it.

01:41:19.000 And he had these tight ankle wraps on, and you think that might have accentuated it and not allowed the circulation to get back to normal?

01:41:27.000 Yeah, that's embarrassing.

01:41:31.000 Weird injury.

01:41:32.000 Well, you're just flopping around on the mat.

01:41:34.000 It looks bad.

01:41:35.000 It's happened to a few guys.

01:41:36.000 It happened to Michael Chandler in Bellator.

01:41:38.000 He got that.

01:41:39.000 That happened to him.

01:41:40.000 It's happened to a couple of guys in the UFC. They get kicked in the leg and their leg just doesn't work right anymore.

01:41:44.000 What about that guy?

01:41:45.000 He kicked and his leg wrapped around the guy's shin.

01:41:48.000 Anderson?

01:41:49.000 No.

01:41:50.000 Yes, Anderson was one of them.

01:41:51.000 Really?

01:41:51.000 He did that with Chris Wyden.

01:41:53.000 And then Chris Weidman was another one.

01:41:56.000 Chris Weidman just did it recently.

01:41:57.000 Not recently.

01:41:58.000 He hasn't come back from it.

01:42:00.000 It's been over, I believe, over a year.

01:42:02.000 Is that correct?

01:42:03.000 Yeah, it just slaps against a leg and just like...

01:42:05.000 Breaks.

01:42:06.000 I've seen it happen in kickboxing, too.

01:42:09.000 It happened with Tyrone Spong fought Gokhan Saki, and Saki checked his kick and snapped his leg in half.

01:42:15.000 Here we go.

01:42:16.000 Here it is.

01:42:16.000 First kick that Chris threw.

01:42:18.000 This is hard.

01:42:19.000 Oh! 0.60

01:42:21.000 Perfect freeze, Jamie.

01:42:23.000 Perfect freeze.

01:42:25.000 Perfect freeze.

01:42:26.000 I can't do it.

01:42:27.000 I can't.

01:42:28.000 Wow.

01:42:28.000 That is an antelope leg.

01:42:30.000 Why are you doing that?

01:42:31.000 Who's doing this?

01:42:33.000 Jamie.

01:42:34.000 Oh, he looks like a stretcher man.

01:42:36.000 Jamie, cut it out.

01:42:37.000 You don't even blink.

01:42:38.000 Jesus.

01:42:39.000 It's already broken there.

01:42:40.000 So many of them.

01:42:41.000 Back to fix.

01:42:42.000 Life's back on track.

01:42:43.000 It's so normal for me to see people get beat up.

01:42:46.000 I mean...

01:42:48.000 That's a bad one though.

01:42:49.000 I've seen that happen one other time.

01:42:52.000 He's since passed away, but he had fought on the Ultimate Fighter.

01:42:57.000 He was a very tall, thin guy.

01:42:59.000 Who was the other guy who had a leg break?

01:43:00.000 Jamie in the UFC? It was a long time ago.

01:43:03.000 It's making me yawn, dude.

01:43:05.000 It makes you yawn.

01:43:07.000 Hand me that bodega. 1.00

01:43:11.000 You didn't even eat your chocolate, you coward. 1.00

01:43:14.000 Guys, you guys are all talking over each other. 1.00

01:43:18.000 No one can hear a fucking word. 1.00

01:43:21.000 That's a thing. 0.99

01:43:22.000 I never did know about it.

01:43:24.000 Who was the first guy to get his leg broken in the UFC? Corey Hill?

01:43:28.000 Yes, Corey Hill.

01:43:30.000 And who was that fight with?

01:43:35.000 Oh God.

01:43:36.000 Back that up a little bit real quick. 1.00

01:43:39.000 Back that ass up. 1.00

01:43:41.000 Dale Hart. 1.00

01:43:43.000 That's right.

01:43:46.000 So, he throws a kick, same deal.

01:43:48.000 Right there.

01:43:50.000 Yo! 1.00

01:43:53.000 Now, this was a bad one because the referee didn't notice it.

01:43:56.000 The referee didn't notice it, so we were screaming, stop the fight.

01:44:01.000 He throws the kick, his leg snaps.

01:44:04.000 Dale showing a lot of head movement, eats a nice kick.

01:44:07.000 Oh, Corey fell down.

01:44:08.000 Oh, his leg's broken!

01:44:09.000 His leg's broken!

01:44:10.000 That's it!

01:44:10.000 We got it!

01:44:12.000 Good lord!

01:44:18.000 So the referee didn't notice that his leg was broken.

01:44:21.000 We had to scream it.

01:44:23.000 What are you doing, dude? 0.97

01:44:24.000 You're killing me, J-Mo. 1.00

01:44:26.000 Didn't you take my shoes? 0.80

01:44:27.000 That was really hard to watch.

01:44:28.000 I saw you.

01:44:29.000 I gotta work.

01:44:30.000 So that was the first time that it ever happened in the UFC. Come on, J-Mo. 0.73

01:44:35.000 He pet the class pet too hard, I bet. 0.92

01:44:38.000 You like a little killing hamster. 0.94

01:44:40.000 You pet the class pet? 1.00

01:44:40.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00

01:44:42.000 Yeah, I had a hamster in their class. 1.00

01:44:43.000 The kids could all pet.

01:44:45.000 What kind of weird world are you creating just for one joke?

01:44:47.000 I went to a performing arts school.

01:44:49.000 We had a hamster in there. 0.89

01:44:50.000 It was a guinea pig.

01:44:51.000 In every class. 1.00

01:44:52.000 You go to math class, make sure you pet the fucking hamster. 1.00

01:44:55.000 I'll get creative on the shrooms. 1.00

01:45:02.000 Man, did you see the Bisping doc?

01:45:04.000 I did.

01:45:05.000 When he talked about getting his, he got his eyeball knocked out, by the way.

01:45:08.000 But he said he woke up in the, what do you call it, the locker room, and he goes, did I win?

01:45:14.000 That's how bad these knockouts are.

01:45:16.000 It's like time travel.

01:45:17.000 They have no idea sometimes.

01:45:19.000 They don't know what happened.

01:45:20.000 People have to explain to them what happened in the fight.

01:45:22.000 They don't remember the fight at all.

01:45:23.000 Sometimes they don't remember the whole day. 0.99

01:45:25.000 They don't remember getting up in the morning, brushing their teeth, taking shit. 0.98

01:45:28.000 They don't remember anything. 0.99

01:45:30.000 The races?

01:45:30.000 I've had some bombs like that.

01:45:32.000 It shuts off everything, and then when it comes back, your memory's just real sketchy.

01:45:38.000 Quite a few fighters have said after they got knocked out that they have no memory of that day at all. 1.00

01:45:42.000 It's a good way to fuck another lady. 1.00

01:45:43.000 I don't have any memory. 1.00

01:45:45.000 I just knocked out.

01:45:46.000 It's kind of every one of these podcasts.

01:45:49.000 True.

01:45:50.000 That's for real. 0.99

01:45:50.000 I wake up in New York like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:45:53.000 Just, what was that? 0.99

01:45:54.000 Dude, I'm going, I'm at 8 a.m.

01:45:56.000 flight tomorrow.

01:45:56.000 Going straight to Boston.

01:45:58.000 Mistake.

01:45:58.000 Big mistake.

01:45:59.000 Doing the Wilbur.

01:46:00.000 It's going to be a...

01:46:00.000 Oh, that's nice.

01:46:01.000 Let me apologize now to the people who came to that.

01:46:03.000 You have the Wilbur tomorrow night?

01:46:04.000 Two of them.

01:46:06.000 It's going to be a train wreck.

01:46:08.000 You're going to be fine.

01:46:10.000 I'll take an Adderall. 1.00

01:46:12.000 Maybe you can hit me with some NAD or some shit. 0.99

01:46:15.000 Do you take Adderall sometimes when you're not feeling good? 1.00

01:46:18.000 I don't really touch it.

01:46:18.000 I used to take it for hangovers, and I just get too cracked out.

01:46:22.000 Does it really work for hangovers?

01:46:23.000 Oh, cleans it up two seconds. 1.00

01:46:25.000 You shit, and you're just flying. 1.00

01:46:29.000 What is the come down like? 1.00

01:46:31.000 It ain't pretty.

01:46:37.000 It's ugly.

01:46:39.000 The mental anguish is brutal.

01:46:42.000 Talk about not getting it up.

01:46:44.000 You got Bobby Lee Dick on Adderall.

01:46:46.000 Well, that's an amphetamine thing, right?

01:46:48.000 Talk about not getting it up.

01:46:51.000 I'm sorry, Bobby.

01:46:52.000 I apologize for him.

01:46:52.000 So now I'm taking blue juice on top of the Adderall.

01:46:55.000 Then you try to drink it away when the show's over.

01:46:57.000 I get it. 1.00

01:46:59.000 It's hard out there for a bitch. 1.00

01:47:03.000 I'm going to get that merch. 1.00

01:47:05.000 I mean, this guy is smirking.

01:47:07.000 You look like the Joe Camel over here.

01:47:09.000 You're scary looking at these.

01:47:11.000 The problem with Adderall, what scares me about it is it's effective.

01:47:14.000 It works, baby.

01:47:16.000 If I started taking something that was effective like that, I don't know if I'd be able to go, no, no, no, let's go back to just being natural.

01:47:23.000 Yes, it works.

01:47:24.000 And I have some on me if you guys want to straighten out.

01:47:27.000 How straightened would it make you?

01:47:29.000 Well, look at this guy.

01:47:30.000 Are you certain?

01:47:30.000 He's going to Betty by.

01:47:32.000 Are you certain that that combination is a good combination?

01:47:34.000 That might be like really bad for your heart.

01:47:36.000 Wow.

01:47:37.000 It could be.

01:47:38.000 It's possible.

01:47:38.000 You take amphetamines.

01:47:41.000 It might be a fucking chemical war in your body. 1.00

01:47:44.000 I'll just dose myself. 1.00

01:47:45.000 Who's this guy?

01:47:47.000 Oh, no. 1.00

01:47:48.000 That's the shooter's fucking... 1.00

01:47:49.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:47:50.000 Oh, yeah.

01:47:51.000 You don't even know this guy.

01:47:51.000 I don't know this guy.

01:47:52.000 You don't know this story?

01:47:53.000 I don't know this story.

01:47:55.000 There was a Colorado shooter, and then when they interviewed his dad, it turns out his dad was a...

01:48:02.000 His dad was on Adderall.

01:48:02.000 He fought in the UFC. His dad did a lot of Adderall.

01:48:05.000 I'm pretty sure Aaron Brink fought in the UFC. Yeah, he did.

01:48:08.000 And he was a legit MMA fighter back in the day, and then he became a porn star.

01:48:13.000 And his reaction to finding out that his son...

01:48:18.000 Was a shooter is the craziest thing you'll ever see.

01:48:21.000 Watch this.

01:48:22.000 Let's play it. 0.99

01:48:23.000 Is that worse than gay? 1.00

01:48:24.000 Dude, it's crazy. 1.00

01:48:25.000 Don't put that back in your pocket.

01:48:26.000 I'm telling you.

01:48:27.000 I've been living with it for 15 years.

01:48:30.000 I got the wallet though.

01:48:31.000 It evens it out. 0.99

01:48:32.000 It doesn't even out jack shit. 0.95

01:48:34.000 It doesn't work like that. 0.97

01:48:36.000 Can I see the jokes?

01:48:37.000 I swear to God, I'll never destroy them.

01:48:38.000 They're varying densities.

01:48:39.000 What are you going to do?

01:48:40.000 I just want to hold them.

01:48:40.000 I've never seen anything like this.

01:48:42.000 So listen to what he says.

01:48:47.000 Look, look, look, pay attention!

01:48:48.000 There's something wrong.

01:48:49.000 It's just not the answer.

01:48:53.000 What?

01:48:53.000 Does Princess die?

01:48:54.000 Yeah.

01:48:55.000 No, this is...

01:48:57.000 Listen, listen.

01:48:58.000 I show the thing that works, it's instant, and you'll get immediate results.

01:49:04.000 This is fully you on Adderall.

01:49:05.000 That's his dad.

01:49:06.000 This is how the podcast ends.

01:49:08.000 This is how Joe Rogan ends.

01:49:10.000 I'm just like, hey, come down here.

01:49:12.000 You know, good people probably...

01:49:15.000 He's a little jacked up, huh?

01:49:17.000 Well, I guess we shouldn't be pointing and laughing right now. 0.98

01:49:19.000 Mormons don't do gay. 0.98

01:49:19.000 We don't do gay. 0.98

01:49:20.000 We don't do gay. 1.00

01:49:24.000 This isn't the real edit, is it?

01:49:26.000 No, this is a weird edit. 0.99

01:49:27.000 It's fucked up. 0.98

01:49:28.000 I love my son. 1.00

01:49:29.000 I love my son.

01:49:31.000 I don't know what this is.

01:49:32.000 This is not it. 0.97

01:49:34.000 I was really fucking you up, dude. 0.96

01:49:35.000 I don't want to see that. 0.98

01:49:35.000 It's good. 0.98

01:49:36.000 People can go fine if you want to, but he's severely troubled.

01:49:42.000 Yeah, he's a mess.

01:49:44.000 He's on something, right?

01:49:45.000 You know what the thing about those notes is?

01:49:46.000 No one can read them.

01:49:47.000 I can read them.

01:49:48.000 It's like some hermetic text.

01:49:49.000 Yeah, I write them in Sanskrit. 0.99

01:49:51.000 It's like my own script, so no one else can read my shit. 0.99

01:49:55.000 Why not front pocket, though? 0.99

01:49:56.000 Front pocket's too small.

01:49:58.000 Who thought that was a decent idea?

01:50:00.000 Did I say that? 1.00

01:50:01.000 That was heavy as fuck. 0.99

01:50:03.000 I don't want that. 0.99

01:50:04.000 You brought it down.

01:50:06.000 It's like Apollo Santos.

01:50:07.000 I don't want that.

01:50:08.000 Look, he's clearly on something, right?

01:50:10.000 He keeps hugging himself.

01:50:12.000 Come on, man.

01:50:12.000 That was a broad video.

01:50:18.000 The thing's a bummer, but it's even more of a bummer, the rest of it. 0.82

01:50:22.000 He jerks out 10-12 hours a day. 0.97

01:50:24.000 The same guy said he jerked off 10-12 hours a day. 0.69

01:50:28.000 He was on Interventions. 0.90

01:50:30.000 What? 0.95

01:50:31.000 For jerking? 0.58

01:50:31.000 He was on another show too, right? 0.58

01:50:33.000 What was the other show he was on?

01:50:34.000 Divorce Quirt? 1.00

01:50:35.000 He had a fucking run, dude. 0.99

01:50:38.000 He fought in the UFC. Before that? 1.00

01:50:40.000 Wow!

01:50:40.000 And then he was on intervention?

01:50:41.000 Divorce court?

01:50:42.000 Renaissance man.

01:50:43.000 And then his kid becomes a shooter. 1.00

01:50:44.000 Fucking horrendous ending. 1.00

01:50:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:50:47.000 You gotta go out with a bang. 0.97

01:50:48.000 Did he do porn? 0.88

01:50:48.000 I think he did pornography as well. 0.88

01:50:50.000 Yeah.

01:50:50.000 He definitely did.

01:50:50.000 Pull it up!

01:50:51.000 Just imagine, you know, that's your dad.

01:50:54.000 Imagine you're that kid.

01:50:56.000 Imagine where we live in 2022. That kind of thing where there's shootings, mass shootings, multiple times a week.

01:51:04.000 It's wild.

01:51:06.000 Yes. 1.00

01:51:07.000 Shut up, dude. 1.00

01:51:07.000 He's talking about fucking... 1.00

01:51:08.000 You're right. 1.00

01:51:09.000 It's copycats.

01:51:09.000 It's very strange.

01:51:11.000 That's what it is. 0.89

01:51:11.000 One guy saw, oh, we can shoot people now, and then they just do it. 0.89

01:51:15.000 I think it's copycats.

01:51:16.000 What does it say?

01:51:17.000 We need an episode on the Colorado shooter's father, a drug smuggling, meth-using, MMA fighter turned porn star. 0.91

01:51:23.000 Hell yeah. 0.98

01:51:24.000 Hell yeah.

01:51:26.000 Is that a kid?

01:51:27.000 That soul patch is a red flag.

01:51:29.000 Is that the kid?

01:51:30.000 Yeah.

01:51:30.000 That's the kid?

01:51:31.000 Leader of Limp Bizkit.

01:51:32.000 Ugh.

01:51:33.000 This one got sad.

01:51:34.000 We gotta clean it up.

01:51:35.000 Come on with the skulls. 0.97

01:51:37.000 That's a rough one.

01:51:39.000 So how about the World Cup?

01:51:41.000 USA won. 0.75

01:51:42.000 They beat the women-hating Iranians. 0.93

01:51:44.000 Did you see that this guy got assassinated in his car by the police? 0.98

01:51:52.000 He got assassinated in his car for cheering.

01:51:57.000 He was cheering for USA. Pull the Charmin Bears up. 0.89

01:52:01.000 The Charmin Bears are very nice.

01:52:03.000 Yeah, there we go.

01:52:04.000 A dunk contest.

01:52:06.000 Or a fat guy falling.

01:52:07.000 Who got shot?

01:52:09.000 He was just a fan of the USA beating Iran. 0.79

01:52:14.000 He was just celebrating.

01:52:17.000 Iranman said killed by security forces while celebrating World Cup loss to USA. He was rubbing it in everybody's face.

01:52:23.000 He was like, ah, losers, you care about soccer. 0.81

01:52:26.000 There's a lot of people that are angry in Iran right now. 0.96

01:52:29.000 They're angry at the government. 0.99

01:52:32.000 So, uh, he was honking his horn and they just fucking shot into his car and killed him, shot him in the head. 1.00

01:52:38.000 We talk about America being shitty. 1.00

01:52:39.000 Dude, that's a guy next to him who worked at Cafe Wa after Trump got elected, black guy. 0.99

01:52:43.000 He started going to everybody and goes, we did it!

01:52:46.000 He started trying to give him high fives the night of the election.

01:52:48.000 We did it!

01:52:49.000 People were like, what?

01:52:49.000 Trump?

01:52:50.000 Yeah! 1.00

01:52:50.000 Black guy fucking high fiving you! 1.00

01:52:53.000 They're confused. 1.00

01:52:55.000 Damn, I ran, huh? 0.99

01:52:59.000 I haven't peed yet. 1.00

01:53:00.000 I'm going to outlast you on pissing. 0.81

01:53:02.000 I bet I can outlast you.

01:53:04.000 I believe you.

01:53:04.000 I believe in you.

01:53:06.000 Trying to get something going here, JoJo.

01:53:08.000 No, I believe in you.

01:53:10.000 You're done with competition, huh?

01:53:11.000 I can only compete so many times on who has to pee.

01:53:15.000 It's not a smart thing to get involved with.

01:53:18.000 Really?

01:53:19.000 It's like a gambling addiction.

01:53:21.000 As a bedwetter, I've got a bladder like you wouldn't believe.

01:53:24.000 Seriously, my dad wouldn't let me pee after 6pm.

01:53:27.000 Oh, Jesus Christ, really?

01:53:28.000 Well, he wouldn't let me have liquid after 6 p.m.

01:53:30.000 because he was worried about me wetting the bed.

01:53:32.000 Oh, God.

01:53:32.000 He's old school.

01:53:33.000 Yeah, that 6 p.m.

01:53:34.000 was the limit.

01:53:35.000 It was the cutoff.

01:53:36.000 So I was just thirsty eating Doritos.

01:53:38.000 Did you have the alarm clock bedspread?

01:53:40.000 No, but I had the thing that I clipped to my boxers and it felt wetness and it would beep.

01:53:45.000 It would beep.

01:53:46.000 I just drink water when I'm thirsty.

01:53:49.000 And I drink water with electrolytes at night and I know I have to pee. 1.00

01:53:53.000 And I'm like, this is a stupid move. 1.00

01:53:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:53:55.000 No, this is a stupid move. 1.00

01:53:56.000 I'm drinking water at 10 p.m. 1.00

01:53:58.000 I'm chugging a giant thing of water at 10 p.m.

01:54:00.000 But I don't care.

01:54:01.000 I'm like, right now I'm thirsty. 1.00

01:54:03.000 And in the middle of the night, I'm like, you dumb motherfucker. 1.00

01:54:06.000 3 o'clock in the morning, I have to pee. 1.00

01:54:07.000 I'm like, you stupid fuck! 1.00

01:54:09.000 But you won't be hungover, at least. 1.00

01:54:10.000 Yeah.

01:54:11.000 It hydrates.

01:54:12.000 But it's not even...

01:54:12.000 I do it all the time, anyway.

01:54:14.000 Yeah, well, you don't take sleeping pills.

01:54:16.000 No.

01:54:16.000 I'm hooked.

01:54:17.000 You're hooked.

01:54:18.000 I need them.

01:54:19.000 You love the weed.

01:54:19.000 Which ones do you take?

01:54:20.000 Well, I take edibles just to conk out, and then I take Seroquil.

01:54:24.000 No, really?

01:54:25.000 Is that bad?

01:54:26.000 I don't know.

01:54:26.000 Anything like that.

01:54:27.000 Let's find out.

01:54:28.000 Doesn't sound natural.

01:54:29.000 Lucky we have Google.

01:54:30.000 Definitely ain't natural.

01:54:31.000 I'd like you to say, give it a Goog.

01:54:33.000 Give it a Goog, J-Mo, but I can't sleep without it. 1.00

01:54:36.000 I'm not a sleeper.

01:54:37.000 I've been up all night.

01:54:38.000 But don't you think eventually you'd fall asleep?

01:54:41.000 Yeah, but then you gotta wake up at, you know, 8. He's hooked.

01:54:44.000 But don't you think that eventually you'd get into a cycle where you could just go to sleep and then wake up?

01:54:49.000 No.

01:54:49.000 Can't sleep without it.

01:54:50.000 No.

01:54:51.000 The brain, it just keeps going.

01:54:53.000 It's like a Japanese game show.

01:54:55.000 It keeps going like, so your mind, okay, so it's like an idea thing.

01:55:00.000 So you're like flooded with ideas and you have to lay down and you're lying down and you can't stop thinking.

01:55:04.000 The memories, the childhood, the jokes, the mean stuff, the hatred.

01:55:11.000 You're tired, as soon as you shut your eyes, it goes...

01:55:13.000 You say the mean stuff and the hatred, is that the predominant?

01:55:16.000 No, meme stuff or mean stuff?

01:55:17.000 Mean stuff.

01:55:18.000 You said mean stuff.

01:55:19.000 Mean. 1.00

01:55:19.000 You know, mean thoughts, you suck, you're not funny, you're worthless, you know, all that shit. 1.00

01:55:25.000 There's a risk of... 1.00

01:55:27.000 Tardive.

01:55:28.000 Tard? 0.98

01:55:29.000 Dyskinesia.

01:55:30.000 Am I saying that right?

01:55:32.000 Dyskinesia.

01:55:33.000 Thank you.

01:55:33.000 Dyskinesia.

01:55:35.000 Uncontrollable, repetitive facial movements associated with antipsychotics, including Seroquel.

01:55:41.000 You're taking an antipsychotic, son.

01:55:43.000 Significant weight loss.

01:55:44.000 That's good, right?

01:55:45.000 Has been reported, although may cause weight gain in some people.

01:55:49.000 Okay.

01:55:49.000 May precipitate a manic episode in people with undiagnosed bipolar disorder.

01:55:56.000 I don't think I have that.

01:55:57.000 Well, there you go.

01:55:58.000 It's undiagnosed.

01:55:59.000 So I'm alright.

01:55:59.000 So are those the only side effects?

01:56:01.000 That's not bad.

01:56:03.000 Your doctor should monitor progression of potential long-term side effects of Seroquel, which can include cataracts, weight gain, high blood sugar, high cholesterol, and tardive dyskinesia.

01:56:17.000 He's already got it.

01:56:19.000 What is that?

01:56:20.000 What's Seroquil do?

01:56:21.000 It helps them sleep.

01:56:23.000 You know what I told them?

01:56:23.000 I said, well, just stay up until you can't sleep anymore.

01:56:26.000 Or stay up until you can't stay up anymore.

01:56:28.000 We're in a different time zone every day.

01:56:30.000 I'm drinking, the flights, the shows, the gigs.

01:56:33.000 Yeah, you're right.

01:56:34.000 How would cavemen survive without Seroquil?

01:56:36.000 Well, they didn't do the Chuckle Hut either.

01:56:39.000 They didn't do the Funny Bone in Omaha.

01:56:42.000 Great room.

01:56:43.000 Do you do it because you love it?

01:56:44.000 Do you love that you can take a sleeping pill and conk out?

01:56:47.000 And it works. 1.00

01:56:49.000 Doesn't it fuck you? 1.00

01:56:49.000 Don't you get, like, fucking wild-ass dreams? 1.00

01:56:52.000 Crazy dreams. 1.00

01:56:53.000 Crazy.

01:56:54.000 That's what Kevin James told me when he was...

01:56:56.000 He used to take the, what's the other one?

01:56:58.000 Ambien.

01:56:59.000 Ambien's bad news.

01:57:00.000 He woke up once.

01:57:02.000 He had made dinner in the middle of the night and didn't know about it. 0.99

01:57:05.000 And he went downstairs and was like, who the fuck made this? 0.99

01:57:08.000 Like, who cooked? 0.99

01:57:09.000 Yeah, look at Roseanne. 1.00

01:57:10.000 She had a career.

01:57:11.000 Oh, yeah.

01:57:12.000 Dude, Ambien is bad.

01:57:13.000 Bad.

01:57:14.000 It's like, you disassociate. 1.00

01:57:15.000 You don't know what the fuck you're saying. 1.00

01:57:16.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:57:17.000 Ari, what are you thinking about?

01:57:18.000 I want my dog in here.

01:57:20.000 You want your dog?

01:57:21.000 I want him so bad, dude.

01:57:22.000 Bring the dog in. 1.00

01:57:23.000 There's a lot of electronics.

01:57:25.000 Bring that dog in here. 1.00

01:57:25.000 I think they're listening in the lobby. 1.00

01:57:27.000 Bring the dog in. 1.00

01:57:27.000 Listen, you dog chews one of the wires. 1.00

01:57:28.000 We have a real problem.

01:57:29.000 He won't chew wires. 1.00

01:57:30.000 Kick him in the ribs. 0.99

01:57:31.000 Is that a girl? 1.00

01:57:32.000 He doesn't see gender.

01:57:33.000 Gender is over. 1.00

01:57:34.000 You call her a he? 0.54

01:57:35.000 Is he a she? 1.00

01:57:36.000 What is it?

01:57:37.000 It's a he. 0.98

01:57:38.000 Oh, it is?

01:57:40.000 I'd say. 1.00

01:57:40.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:57:41.000 You got a real Elliot Page on you, huh? 1.00

01:57:46.000 Sweet dog, dude.

01:57:48.000 Where'd you get that dog?

01:57:50.000 Snars.

01:57:52.000 It's the name of the rescue.

01:57:55.000 Snars on the way to Sal's wedding.

01:57:57.000 Thank you.

01:57:58.000 It's a great, great name.

01:57:59.000 Sal's wedding. 1.00

01:58:00.000 Yeah, some sucker adopted her, and then the dumb fucking inbred kid was allergic. 1.00

01:58:06.000 Gave it back. 1.00

01:58:07.000 Whoa, bro.

01:58:08.000 Their loss is my gain.

01:58:09.000 Jewish kid.

01:58:09.000 Why are you talking about kids?

01:58:10.000 What?

01:58:12.000 Well, wait a minute.

01:58:13.000 Every dog's a rescue now.

01:58:14.000 I've never heard of a guy say it's not a rescue.

01:58:16.000 How can they all be rescues?

01:58:18.000 How much do you pay for your dog?

01:58:19.000 My dog is not a rescue.

01:58:20.000 Exactly.

01:58:21.000 Louie's is not.

01:58:22.000 He's a golden retriever.

01:58:24.000 Bobby Kelly's is not.

01:58:24.000 But we wanted a very specific kind of dog.

01:58:26.000 Yeah, not a rescue, golden retrievers.

01:58:27.000 Yeah.

01:58:29.000 Or French Bulldogs.

01:58:30.000 Everybody has one. 1.00

01:58:30.000 Sweetest fucking dog. 1.00

01:58:31.000 Those are not rescues. 1.00

01:58:32.000 They call them rescues, I feel like.

01:58:33.000 No way.

01:58:34.000 Although the people that would have a French Bulldog would say it's a rescue.

01:58:37.000 Yeah.

01:58:38.000 But it's not.

01:58:38.000 Certain dogs, like, they've just engineered them to be love machines.

01:58:43.000 Yeah, Pomeranian.

01:58:45.000 Those are cute. 0.99

01:58:45.000 There's dogs that are just fucking love machines. 0.99

01:58:48.000 They just want to love you. 1.00

01:58:49.000 That's all we want. 1.00

01:58:51.000 Because they used to herd sheep and fuck kids or whatever, but now they don't want that anymore. 1.00

01:58:56.000 We just want to hug. 1.00

01:58:58.000 Yeah.

01:58:59.000 Right?

01:59:00.000 Same with cats. 1.00

01:59:01.000 Dogs used to fuck kids. 1.00

01:59:02.000 What are you saying? 1.00

01:59:03.000 I'm really enjoying this. 1.00

01:59:04.000 They used to hurt sheep and fuck kids. 1.00

01:59:07.000 Mark's the only one not high on his ass. 1.00

01:59:09.000 He's just talking. 1.00

01:59:11.000 He's trying to fill the area.

01:59:14.000 I ate half of it.

01:59:15.000 I took a stem.

01:59:17.000 Well, no, then we'd have no pun.

01:59:18.000 No, that's funny.

01:59:19.000 I actually like it.

01:59:21.000 I like what's going on.

01:59:21.000 Guys, we're fine.

01:59:22.000 We got a good thing cooking, except Ari's out to lunch. 1.00

01:59:25.000 I'm back!

01:59:26.000 Are you?

01:59:27.000 I'm back!

01:59:28.000 I was going on a minute.

01:59:29.000 I'm back!

01:59:29.000 It's like a career.

01:59:30.000 Feeling good.

01:59:32.000 It's like a career.

01:59:33.000 It's making me laugh watching you.

01:59:35.000 Trying to hold something together.

01:59:37.000 How about the World Cup? 1.00

01:59:38.000 Guy got fucking shot. 1.00

01:59:40.000 We don't see each other until every four months. 1.00

01:59:45.000 We just got to be careful with the crosstalk, because nobody can understand anything anybody's saying.

01:59:50.000 This episode is brought to you by Crosstalk.

01:59:55.000 Is that an old Will Smith sitcom?

01:59:59.000 Will Smith is done.

02:00:01.000 He's not done.

02:00:01.000 He's got to make a big comeback.

02:00:03.000 Talk to Kanye.

02:00:04.000 He's got a movie coming out.

02:00:05.000 And he's worried about the attendance.

02:00:08.000 What are you saying, Jamie?

02:00:09.000 I'm disagreeing.

02:00:10.000 I think it's an Apple movie, though.

02:00:14.000 Well, I'm sure they probably filmed it all before that.

02:00:17.000 That's true.

02:00:18.000 Isn't it like an action movie?

02:00:20.000 It better be.

02:00:23.000 He plays a slave escaping. 1.00

02:00:25.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:00:26.000 I've never heard of that before. 0.99

02:00:28.000 It's an action thriller is what it's listed as.

02:00:30.000 So yeah, it's Emancipation. 0.56

02:00:30.000 Maybe the guilt will kick in and we'll all go see it. 0.56

02:00:40.000 The hard part is Chris Rock has a lot of pressure to write a chunk on that. 0.99

02:00:46.000 Don't let him fucking say what you do. 0.99

02:00:48.000 What? 1.00

02:00:49.000 Huh?

02:00:49.000 He's not going to let him, like, everyone's like, now we want a bit about that, because I was already writing bits.

02:00:53.000 I'm not doing this.

02:00:54.000 I heard he's murdering it.

02:00:55.000 Yeah.

02:00:55.000 Oh, yeah?

02:00:56.000 I heard from everybody's murder.

02:00:57.000 I've seen it.

02:00:58.000 I saw him in Austin.

02:00:58.000 He said he murdered it.

02:01:00.000 Oh, yeah.

02:01:00.000 What?

02:01:00.000 Yeah.

02:01:01.000 I went on the road.

02:01:02.000 We went to Philly together.

02:01:04.000 Now we're talking.

02:01:04.000 How long ago was this?

02:01:06.000 Two months ago.

02:01:07.000 Nice.

02:01:08.000 How was it?

02:01:09.000 It was incredible. 0.99

02:01:10.000 It was one of those moments in comedy where you're like, God damn. 0.99

02:01:15.000 That's crazy. 0.99

02:01:16.000 That's good stuff.

02:01:17.000 But he had a joke about it, and it was incredibly funny. 0.99

02:01:21.000 Thank God he didn't fucking heed your advice, dickhead. 0.99

02:01:26.000 Exactly. 1.00

02:01:27.000 I heard he's back to bring the pain levels.

02:01:30.000 I saw at the VU and he was like, the phones are locked up, right? 1.00

02:01:34.000 And he said crazy shit. 0.99

02:01:36.000 He was saying, Colin Quinn's like, oh my god! 1.00

02:01:39.000 And I was like, I know, it felt like old comedy again.

02:01:41.000 Well, if anybody can do it, he can do it now.

02:01:45.000 After getting slapped like that, and they give a standing ovation to the guy that slapped him. 1.00

02:01:50.000 They're such fucking phonies. 1.00

02:01:52.000 Bro, it's a mind virus. 1.00

02:01:54.000 And if anybody didn't know it, if you watch that pattern of behavior, how that all plays out, and how that makes any sense to anybody, that's how crazy those people are. 1.00

02:02:04.000 What losers. 1.00

02:02:04.000 What fucking dorks they all are. 1.00

02:02:06.000 They don't know what to do. 1.00

02:02:06.000 Oh, buddy! 1.00

02:02:07.000 Yeah!

02:02:08.000 Yeah, let's get a dog in here. 1.00

02:02:09.000 Wow!

02:02:10.000 Best dog in the world!

02:02:11.000 Panic! 0.82

02:02:12.000 It's in it!

02:02:12.000 Wow.

02:02:13.000 Artie chewed a quarter.

02:02:14.000 Chewed a quarter.

02:02:15.000 That's the way.

02:02:16.000 Chewed it away.

02:02:17.000 Did he?

02:02:17.000 It was a quarter.

02:02:18.000 Straight for a quarter.

02:02:19.000 Oh, it's ice cubes.

02:02:22.000 I give them cheap treats.

02:02:24.000 That's the first addition to this group, is that dog.

02:02:28.000 It's the only person we've let in.

02:02:31.000 What did you just say?

02:02:32.000 See how Brian Simpson was trying to get on?

02:02:34.000 He was trying.

02:02:35.000 Just to go do a drink contest with you. 0.95

02:02:37.000 I'm like, what are we doing here?

02:02:38.000 Not on my watch, Bri.

02:02:40.000 Look at that sweetie. 1.00

02:02:41.000 There's only four mics.

02:02:51.000 That's gross. 1.00

02:02:52.000 That's white people shit. 1.00

02:02:55.000 You're out of the group. 1.00

02:02:56.000 Dude, the dog doesn't like it.

02:02:58.000 The dog's like, what is this guy doing to me?

02:03:00.000 Well, now the dog's gonna get high.

02:03:02.000 You ever hear Big J's joke about Michael Jackson had dog belly?

02:03:06.000 No.

02:03:08.000 It was dog belly.

02:03:10.000 It's so funny, dude.

02:03:13.000 That's great.

02:03:16.000 Oh, man.

02:03:17.000 Big J, funny guy.

02:03:19.000 The best.

02:03:20.000 You can't have her running around here, brother.

02:03:21.000 No, she's fine.

02:03:22.000 She doesn't chew cords. 1.00

02:03:23.000 Yeah, but that's what you say.

02:03:24.000 You don't know.

02:03:25.000 Maybe I have cords in my eyes.

02:03:27.000 She's gonna chew a cord. 1.00

02:03:28.000 She never chewed a cord before.

02:03:30.000 I never thought she would chew a cord.

02:03:32.000 It's a dog.

02:03:33.000 I'm gonna chew a cord.

02:03:34.000 It's not a rat.

02:03:35.000 A dog better not chew a cord.

02:03:37.000 I gave her ice.

02:03:39.000 According to Jim. 0.96

02:03:41.000 Don't you feel better with the presence of a dog in hell? 1.00

02:03:45.000 I'll see you all in hell. 1.00

02:03:46.000 Woo! 1.00

02:03:47.000 Fuck it! 1.00

02:03:49.000 What did you say? 1.00

02:03:50.000 He just goes according to Jim.

02:03:53.000 I got the cord in there.

02:03:56.000 Alright, J-Mo!

02:03:59.000 Bring it up According to Jim.

02:04:01.000 Every time he has a reference, I want an image of it, please.

02:04:04.000 That'd be nice.

02:04:05.000 Please.

02:04:05.000 Jesus Christ.

02:04:06.000 That's the Jim Belushi show, right?

02:04:09.000 According to Jim.

02:04:10.000 According to Jim.

02:04:12.000 Crazy reference.

02:04:12.000 I'll never not think about it every time I say According to Jim.

02:04:15.000 Those shows, you try to watch those shows, try to watch one of those really bland sitcoms.

02:04:21.000 Oh, man.

02:04:22.000 Oh, my God.

02:04:23.000 That's just in Norman's brain.

02:04:25.000 They're talking about cords.

02:04:28.000 Don't they take the kids to be happy and jovial? 1.00

02:04:31.000 The wife's always too hot, and he's always an idiot. 1.00

02:04:34.000 It's like every show prototype. 1.00

02:04:38.000 Try watching one of those now.

02:04:40.000 Oh, they're wacky.

02:04:41.000 It just seems like you're watching people wear powdered wigs in the 18th century.

02:04:44.000 It's so fake.

02:04:45.000 The laugh track.

02:04:47.000 It's so fake now.

02:04:48.000 It's so weird.

02:04:49.000 It's so weird.

02:04:51.000 It's kooky.

02:04:52.000 Well, you know, the thing is, once you get used to doing podcasts and talking like this, talking normal, there he is.

02:04:58.000 Hey! 0.99

02:04:59.000 That guy rules. 0.98

02:05:00.000 He's a fat stogie. 0.99

02:05:02.000 He took that money. 0.98

02:05:03.000 He might rule.

02:05:04.000 Was the jury out?

02:05:06.000 He definitely rules.

02:05:07.000 He's got a cowboy hat.

02:05:09.000 He left Hollywood to launch a pod farm. 1.00

02:05:11.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:05:12.000 He gets it. 1.00

02:05:13.000 Oh yeah, that's hot.

02:05:14.000 He gets it.

02:05:14.000 Good for him.

02:05:15.000 That's smart.

02:05:16.000 Listen, who might have judged?

02:05:17.000 I was on Fear Factor for six years.

02:05:19.000 Oh, good point.

02:05:20.000 Good point. 1.00

02:05:21.000 I would have done that stupid show. 1.00

02:05:22.000 News Radio wasn't there. 1.00

02:05:23.000 I would have been his wacky brother.

02:05:24.000 Come on, man.

02:05:25.000 Let's go to the club.

02:05:27.000 Come on. 1.00

02:05:27.000 That would have been his brother on that stupid show. 1.00

02:05:31.000 Yeah, you're right. 0.99

02:05:32.000 Listen, back in those days, especially in the 90s, when people offered you roles on sitcoms, you said yes.

02:05:38.000 Of course.

02:05:38.000 Look at Andy Dick.

02:05:39.000 Made a career out of it.

02:05:40.000 Yeah, well, I was on news radio with him.

02:05:42.000 How was he?

02:05:43.000 He was funny.

02:05:44.000 He's a funny guy.

02:05:45.000 He's funny. 1.00

02:05:45.000 He's fucking talented as shit, man. 1.00

02:05:47.000 We had scenes, and I couldn't stop laughing. 1.00

02:05:50.000 I couldn't keep a straight face.

02:05:51.000 There's a scene in news radio that I always point to.

02:05:53.000 It's them burying a rat.

02:05:55.000 And then Joe not able to...

02:05:57.000 They didn't get any good takes without Joe laughing.

02:05:59.000 Really?

02:05:59.000 Yeah.

02:06:00.000 You gotta find it.

02:06:01.000 It's them bearing a rat, and someone's like, we should say a service to the rat.

02:06:05.000 And then he's so funny, and Joe's like, they're like, Joe, just say nothing, I'm sure, right?

02:06:09.000 Yeah, I just couldn't.

02:06:10.000 I was just hanging in there as much as I could.

02:06:13.000 We did like six takes.

02:06:15.000 How was it being on that set?

02:06:16.000 You got Phil Hartman, you got the other guy.

02:06:19.000 Andy Dick was the funniest.

02:06:20.000 Really?

02:06:21.000 Yeah, it was a different kind of funny.

02:06:23.000 Towards the end.

02:06:24.000 Like, Dave Foley was very funny.

02:06:27.000 I love Foley.

02:06:29.000 No, it's when everyone's around later.

02:06:30.000 We're right before this, right before this.

02:06:35.000 Friendship.

02:06:36.000 What is it?

02:06:37.000 This.

02:06:37.000 For our kind, it's camaraderie and conversation.

02:06:40.000 But for those poor creatures eking out a hardscrabble existence every day, it's something else entirely.

02:06:46.000 Man, you are hunky.

02:06:48.000 You're a hunk, dude.

02:07:08.000 Did she bang any cast members? 1.00

02:07:11.000 Just Dave.

02:07:12.000 She's got a bot on her. 1.00

02:07:15.000 Just Dave.

02:07:17.000 I think we might be playing too much of this.

02:07:19.000 It's right after this.

02:07:20.000 Yeah. 0.95

02:07:21.000 I'm fucking enthralled. 0.95

02:07:22.000 Yeah, I'm bored. 0.97

02:07:23.000 I like it.

02:07:24.000 I'm bored and it's me.

02:07:25.000 No, but if it was me, I'd say please turn this off.

02:07:27.000 I think that's the wrong one.

02:07:28.000 No, it's watch.

02:07:29.000 It was that. 1.00

02:07:30.000 You're a stupid fucking watch again! 1.00

02:07:33.000 Why, dude? 1.00

02:07:35.000 It's a Timex.

02:07:35.000 So many things are so confusing to me.

02:07:38.000 Never stops ticking.

02:07:39.000 But it also makes sense.

02:07:41.000 Where's that dog? 1.00

02:07:42.000 You better not be chewing on fucking cords. 1.00

02:07:44.000 Oh great. 1.00

02:07:45.000 Oh, I gave him a shroom chocolate.

02:07:47.000 The chocolate's a problem.

02:07:50.000 It's a Shafir. 1.00

02:07:51.000 He's got plenty.

02:07:52.000 Oh really?

02:07:53.000 Isn't it weird that chocolates kill dogs?

02:07:55.000 That's crazy.

02:07:56.000 Does it?

02:07:57.000 Yeah.

02:07:58.000 I've seen it.

02:07:58.000 You've seen it?

02:08:00.000 I did it.

02:08:00.000 What?

02:08:01.000 I didn't know.

02:08:02.000 I gave him a Twix.

02:08:03.000 Really?

02:08:04.000 Yeah, when I was a kid.

02:08:05.000 Wait, what?

02:08:06.000 The dog died?

02:08:06.000 And it really flips, it spazzes, it's wild.

02:08:10.000 Is that how you did it?

02:08:11.000 That was me!

02:08:15.000 Bromine content.

02:08:16.000 It's like a horse with a carrot.

02:08:17.000 It's theobromine content which dogs are unable to metabolize correctly.

02:08:22.000 If your dog eats chocolate, you should monitor them closely to see and seek veterinary attention if they show any symptoms, or if they're very young, pregnant, or have other health concerns.

02:08:32.000 There you go.

02:08:32.000 What happened to the dog?

02:08:34.000 What kind of dog was it?

02:08:35.000 A lot of yakking.

02:08:36.000 It was a...

02:08:36.000 No.

02:08:37.000 Damn. 0.99

02:08:38.000 What was his name? 0.99

02:08:39.000 A terry.

02:08:39.000 Shadow.

02:08:41.000 No, Shadow!

02:08:41.000 Like a Wizard of Oz dog.

02:08:44.000 You ever hear about that bear that ate the cocaine?

02:08:46.000 Yes.

02:08:46.000 Pablo Escobar.

02:08:48.000 They're making a movie now.

02:08:50.000 Come on.

02:08:51.000 That's not mine.

02:08:53.000 That's a great joke.

02:08:54.000 I wish.

02:08:55.000 Wait, what was the bear that ate the coke?

02:08:57.000 Yeah, like some dudes like drop some coke out of parachutes. 0.99

02:09:01.000 It's a movie now?

02:09:03.000 They're making a movie.

02:09:04.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:09:08.000 Coke jump bear is killing everybody.

02:09:19.000 That's fun.

02:09:20.000 That's a good movie.

02:09:21.000 Boy, movies have hit a new low, huh?

02:09:23.000 This is probably the best movie you'll ever see. 0.99

02:09:25.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

02:09:26.000 The Coked Up Bear. 1.00

02:09:28.000 This movie rules.

02:09:29.000 This movie rules.

02:09:32.000 Why would you ever not be watching this movie?

02:09:34.000 This movie rules.

02:09:34.000 Look at this.

02:09:35.000 They find packages of coke based inspired by truth.

02:09:38.000 Oh! 0.60

02:09:38.000 Ray Leona's last movie! 0.60

02:09:41.000 His last movie was Cocaine Bear.

02:09:43.000 Look at it.

02:09:44.000 The bear's eating the coke.

02:09:45.000 And the guy's yelling at the bear.

02:09:51.000 A bear did cocaine! 0.98

02:09:54.000 This is silly. 0.97

02:09:57.000 A bear did cocaine! 0.98

02:10:01.000 It was a bear.

02:10:02.000 A bear?

02:10:02.000 It was far!

02:10:04.000 Hey! 0.99

02:10:06.000 Oh, come on, guys.

02:10:08.000 It's the height of comedy. 1.00

02:10:10.000 This is pretty fucking shitty. 0.99

02:10:13.000 Yeah, not so bad. 1.00

02:10:14.000 This is like the worst movie this ever really was. 0.99

02:10:17.000 Damn. 0.99

02:10:18.000 This is his last movie. 1.00

02:10:20.000 I gotta see that.

02:10:20.000 What's the name of that?

02:10:21.000 Cocaine bear.

02:10:22.000 I'll definitely see a cocaine bear.

02:10:23.000 I don't think you're creative enough to change it.

02:10:25.000 We keep talking about doing like a fight companion for bad movies.

02:10:29.000 That's a great idea.

02:10:30.000 That might be the movie.

02:10:32.000 Mystery science.

02:10:32.000 Come on, that might be the movie to do it.

02:10:34.000 Cocaine bear.

02:10:36.000 They should have gone the other way and have the bear be like, we should start a bar.

02:10:39.000 This is the best out of our lives.

02:10:40.000 We're having a great time.

02:10:42.000 Have you gotten into crypto?

02:10:43.000 Yeah.

02:10:45.000 FTX. That FTX thing is crazy because so many people were spokespeople for it.

02:10:51.000 Is that the one where Tom Brady broke up his marriage? 0.99

02:10:55.000 Tom Brady's having a rough fucking... 0.99

02:10:56.000 That didn't break up his marriage. 1.00

02:10:58.000 Oh, I bet that was it.

02:11:00.000 You didn't quote me on that.

02:11:04.000 I'm telling you, she was like, we better split ties right now there, Tommy, because it's about to get ugly.

02:11:12.000 Who's the fortune favors the bold?

02:11:14.000 Who's that?

02:11:15.000 That was Matt Damon.

02:11:17.000 Matt Damon, for which Bitcoin?

02:11:20.000 Who cares?

02:11:21.000 I forget.

02:11:22.000 Which one?

02:11:23.000 Crypto...

02:11:23.000 Fortune favors the bold.

02:11:24.000 He told us people to put their money in.

02:11:28.000 I think they own the Staples Center now.

02:11:29.000 When he was comparing it to people going to the moon, and I'm like, bro...

02:11:34.000 They don't own it.

02:11:35.000 They named it.

02:11:36.000 They don't own it.

02:11:36.000 Well, of course.

02:11:37.000 Thank you, JD. JD, correct me real quick for you.

02:11:41.000 What'd you say?

02:11:42.000 I said they don't own it.

02:11:43.000 We can't have three different conversations going on, kids.

02:11:46.000 When they were talking about...

02:11:48.000 Somebody say kids?

02:11:48.000 He was doing that commercial where he was comparing it to space travel.

02:11:53.000 Yeah.

02:11:53.000 Talking about innovators, groundbreakers.

02:11:55.000 Look at this. 0.98

02:11:56.000 Telling all these fucking barely-making people to throw all the money at us. 0.98

02:11:58.000 By the way, I'm a big Matt Damon fan. 0.98

02:11:59.000 ...who almost adventured, who almost achieved, but ultimately...

02:12:06.000 He's telling regular people to be Galileo.

02:12:08.000 Look at this.

02:12:11.000 We're talking about people who embrace the moment.

02:12:14.000 That guy's not embracing the moment. 1.00

02:12:15.000 That guy's a crazy fuck climbing a glacier. 1.00

02:12:18.000 That's not smart. 1.00

02:12:19.000 This is cheesy.

02:12:21.000 The Wright Brothers.

02:12:23.000 Mere mortals.

02:12:25.000 Just like you and me.

02:12:27.000 It's funny, those guys invented flight and climbed a mountain. 0.98

02:12:29.000 They're like, look at these gay guys. 1.00

02:12:31.000 These guys just kissed.

02:12:33.000 That was a guy and a girl kissing, wasn't it?

02:12:36.000 It's true.

02:12:37.000 Four simple words that have been whispered by the intrepid since the time of the Romans. 0.80

02:12:41.000 Fortune favors the brave.

02:12:45.000 It's not really braved by crypto.

02:12:47.000 Well, it is now.

02:12:49.000 Now it is.

02:12:50.000 Yeah.

02:12:51.000 When something like that FTX thing goes down where you watch billions of dollars just disappear, yeah.

02:12:57.000 I lost a fortune.

02:13:00.000 Fortune, favorites, and brave?

02:13:01.000 Is that what you were doing there with that?

02:13:02.000 Well, I'm just saying, I lost a lot of money.

02:13:04.000 Did you lose a lot of money?

02:13:05.000 Yeah.

02:13:06.000 You really did put money in crypto?

02:13:07.000 I did.

02:13:08.000 I'm trying to tell you.

02:13:09.000 Oh, I thought you were joking.

02:13:10.000 No, no.

02:13:10.000 I lost a ton.

02:13:11.000 How much?

02:13:12.000 I don't want to get into numbers here.

02:13:14.000 It's being impolite.

02:13:16.000 How much?

02:13:18.000 Enough to disturb you.

02:13:20.000 That was the first time I checked.

02:13:21.000 I lost like 15 grand this year.

02:13:23.000 In the tens of thousands.

02:13:25.000 I thought it was the right thing to do.

02:13:26.000 I saw the commercial.

02:13:27.000 I was never going to take it out of there.

02:13:29.000 So people are suing Larry David.

02:13:31.000 Yeah.

02:13:32.000 He was just in a commercial.

02:13:33.000 Because he did a commercial for them.

02:13:35.000 They're suing...

02:13:37.000 There's a class action lawsuit.

02:13:38.000 I think it involves...

02:13:41.000 Find out what it does.

02:13:42.000 Tom Brady, Larry David.

02:13:44.000 They're saying, why'd you tell us to do this?

02:13:45.000 I don't know that it's gone through yet.

02:13:47.000 I think they've talked about it.

02:13:48.000 So some people are saying, but then there's also the people that are like, where's my money?

02:13:52.000 Yeah.

02:13:53.000 And this guy is just going to go to some New York Times thing that they're doing this week, right?

02:13:58.000 There you go.

02:14:00.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:14:01.000 They've got some New York Times thing where people are speaking, and he's gonna go up there, hey, I fucked up. 0.93

02:14:08.000 Hey, everyone. 0.93

02:14:10.000 Don't do that.

02:14:11.000 In the end, you shouldn't do that.

02:14:12.000 It's live?

02:14:13.000 He's on right now.

02:14:14.000 He's on right now.

02:14:16.000 Okay.

02:14:17.000 You know, margin positions opened with that.

02:14:20.000 It's probably going to be very boring.

02:14:21.000 Let it go.

02:14:22.000 Let it go.

02:14:22.000 A bunch of that over to FTX this year when they shut down.

02:14:27.000 This guy's a weirdo.

02:14:28.000 And that means, you know, I think it was over collateralized positions, but positions that involve substantial size and substantial U.S. dollar size. 1.00

02:14:37.000 What the fuck, dude? 0.99

02:14:39.000 This is nuts. 1.00

02:14:40.000 It's like Oz. 1.00

02:14:42.000 It's like the fucking guy back there. 1.00

02:14:45.000 Right. 1.00

02:14:45.000 I don't like it. 1.00

02:14:46.000 Don't look past the curtain.

02:14:49.000 Couldn't get this guy a better plant?

02:14:51.000 Alright, put the headphones on so you can hear this guy.

02:14:53.000 Alright, I wanna hear him.

02:14:55.000 No, it's bizarre.

02:14:58.000 Jewish, yay or nay? 0.99

02:15:00.000 What?

02:15:00.000 Could be.

02:15:01.000 I would go yay.

02:15:02.000 What are you talking about?

02:15:04.000 What's his name?

02:15:05.000 Fried.

02:15:06.000 Fried.

02:15:07.000 Yeah, 100%.

02:15:08.000 He balled out.

02:15:14.000 Got a real bird's nest on him, huh?

02:15:16.000 Jealous.

02:15:19.000 Yeah, Mulaney.

02:15:21.000 Look at him shaking.

02:15:24.000 I think he just shakes.

02:15:28.000 Bro, he's tweaking.

02:15:32.000 Yeah, look at the pupils are huge.

02:15:33.000 I mean, given the size of the position, I think it was...

02:15:36.000 Like a doll's eyes.

02:15:37.000 If not in intention, it was, in effect, tied together substantially more than I would have ever wanted it to be.

02:15:45.000 This is weird.

02:15:49.000 Keep going.

02:15:50.000 I'm just studying him.

02:16:02.000 Nexuses?

02:16:06.000 I know the people from Alameda decently well, almost as if you don't know what's happening there.

02:16:12.000 And there isn't like a large amount, you know, of ways remain that we are actively working together.

02:16:17.000 Anything like that, Alameda is a wholly separate entity.

02:16:21.000 There are different offices, like different principal offices.

02:16:24.000 We don't have any shared personnel.

02:16:25.000 We're also not the same company.

02:16:27.000 We not all are under the same corporate umbrella or anything like that.

02:16:30.000 And yet it seems Like Alameda people, we're living in the same penthouse where you may very well be right now. 1.00

02:16:38.000 I guess it seems that way, doesn't it, asshole? 1.00

02:16:40.000 Yeah, right? 0.99

02:16:42.000 Most of Alameda was not there.

02:16:45.000 I don't live there now, but...

02:16:47.000 I have not lived there.

02:16:51.000 Skinny arms.

02:16:52.000 I did live with one or two members of Alameda for a little while.

02:16:59.000 And I'll also say that as I was earlier this summer looking at the relationship, What a dweeb!

02:17:08.000 Well, I think he's...

02:17:09.000 I think he's...

02:17:10.000 He's really autistic.

02:17:12.000 Ah!

02:17:13.000 I can't recognize my own.

02:17:15.000 And so when I was looking at...

02:17:16.000 You're like a betta fish? 1.00

02:17:20.000 Fuck this guy! 1.00

02:17:23.000 Swiping on him like a cat. 1.00

02:17:25.000 That had fallen off from something like 85% in 2019 to something like 2%.

02:17:30.000 Oh.

02:17:31.000 This year, but in terms of positions and balances...

02:17:34.000 We lost a robot.

02:17:36.000 This is so strange.

02:17:37.000 I don't even know what he's talking about.

02:17:38.000 I'm just studying his mannerisms. 1.00

02:17:42.000 Yeah, he's tweaking out like Hitler at those fucking games. 1.00

02:17:44.000 100% tweaking out. 1.00

02:17:45.000 Yes.

02:17:46.000 That's a lot of pressure.

02:17:47.000 Very under pressure.

02:17:49.000 Also, he's tweaking from that for sure.

02:17:52.000 Imagine, billions of dollars are missing.

02:17:55.000 That was live?

02:17:55.000 Gone, yeah.

02:17:56.000 That's live, dude.

02:17:57.000 He's getting...

02:17:57.000 Billions of dollars.

02:17:58.000 Are just gone? 0.98

02:17:59.000 And, you know, they've got, like, all these tweets and shit. 0.98

02:18:03.000 Different things that they've said in different... 0.96

02:18:06.000 Statements that he said about his company that just seemed to be untrue.

02:18:09.000 Live updates of the stuff he was saying during it, too.

02:18:12.000 But the thing that he was just discussing there was another company called Alameda, and apparently they'd moved $10 billion over to Alameda, and they don't know how that was done or what it was done, but it was like a company that was connected to them.

02:18:28.000 And initially he lied about it and said he didn't work with those people, and they were all banging each other.

02:18:33.000 Whoa! 0.99

02:18:36.000 They were fucking that guy? 0.99

02:18:38.000 Hey, that was last week. 0.99

02:18:43.000 They were fucking that guy? 0.99

02:18:44.000 He's gone. 0.99

02:18:45.000 Yeah, he lived in a house with like 10 people.

02:18:48.000 They were all banging each other. 0.97

02:18:49.000 Influencer house for Bitcoin?

02:18:50.000 Every time.

02:18:51.000 And they were all doing amphetamines.

02:18:53.000 This lady who was one of them, she wrote on Twitter.

02:18:56.000 This was like one of the top people at his company.

02:18:59.000 What was the exact quote?

02:19:01.000 We talked about it yesterday.

02:19:04.000 I don't want to paraphrase because I'm high.

02:19:06.000 You know you're on shrooms when the screen is all flunky.

02:19:10.000 I feel like I watch things and they're not even there.

02:19:14.000 I can just picture things happening on that screen.

02:19:16.000 So he's gonna fry.

02:19:17.000 He's gone down. 1.00

02:19:18.000 It looks like Fryd is fucked. 1.00

02:19:20.000 Damn. 1.00

02:19:21.000 It looks like he's fucked. 1.00

02:19:23.000 That wasn't great. 1.00

02:19:24.000 I didn't understand one word.

02:19:26.000 I don't remember one word. 1.00

02:19:27.000 Freed, rather, is fucked. 0.99

02:19:28.000 Nothing like regular amphetamine used to make you appreciate how dumb a lot of normal, non-medicated human experience is. 0.99

02:19:35.000 This is in April of 2021. I thought that's her reaction to what we just saw. 0.83

02:19:39.000 She was one of the top dogs over there. 1.00

02:19:42.000 She was one of the top people over there, and they were all banging each other. 1.00

02:19:45.000 Every time.

02:19:46.000 On speed, banging each other, making billions of fake money.

02:19:49.000 What did they do?

02:19:49.000 Figure out a way to take the money away from the people?

02:19:51.000 I don't know what happened, man.

02:19:53.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:19:55.000 It was like Wilt Chamberlain's.

02:19:56.000 They lived in a $40 million penthouse, and now it's listed for sale. 1.00

02:20:00.000 All those dorks are fucking in this corner. 1.00

02:20:03.000 They're fucking in there. 1.00

02:20:07.000 Bro, they thought they were in a movie. 1.00

02:20:08.000 They thought they were in a movie.

02:20:09.000 They're on amphetamines.

02:20:12.000 They're banging.

02:20:13.000 Good for them.

02:20:13.000 Yeah, but they know how those movies end.

02:20:15.000 They're pushing half-saw dicks into each other. 1.00

02:20:17.000 Oh shit, there's a dog in it. 1.00

02:20:21.000 What does it smell like? 1.00

02:20:22.000 Part of me is rooting for them.

02:20:24.000 Part of me is like, I wish they weren't stealing money.

02:20:27.000 I wish it wasn't a Ponzi scheme.

02:20:29.000 Yeah, man.

02:20:30.000 I wish, because if it wasn't a Ponzi scheme...

02:20:33.000 Easy.

02:20:34.000 It's funny how that guy...

02:20:35.000 If it wasn't a Ponzi scheme, it would be nice to be off there.

02:20:37.000 It would be amazing to see that they succeed and they go over there and they start making all this money.

02:20:42.000 He wouldn't succeed.

02:20:43.000 If it wasn't a Ponzi, he wouldn't succeed.

02:20:46.000 Right.

02:20:47.000 It's a chicken to the egg.

02:20:48.000 But that guy either goes school shooter or crypto.

02:20:52.000 No, it's not.

02:20:53.000 I'm going to take these.

02:20:54.000 We're going to get closer together.

02:20:55.000 I'm going to get on a flight.

02:20:56.000 There's something about those crypto people.

02:20:59.000 It's like, there's something about people that are just venturing out into the world of a new thing that you're just like, are you sure?

02:21:07.000 Where are you going?

02:21:07.000 Well, that's why it's Fortune Favors the Bold.

02:21:10.000 They're like the Wright brothers. 0.87

02:21:11.000 Yeah, but I don't mean just people investing in it.

02:21:12.000 I mean, people that are like the top executives and they're involved in this. 0.99

02:21:16.000 It's like, what a weird fucking world you're navigating. 0.99

02:21:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:21:21.000 So when you dosed Bert, how much you give him?

02:21:27.000 Oh, actual amount?

02:21:28.000 I gave him about a half of what I would do.

02:21:31.000 And then I did the other half and mine.

02:21:33.000 So, I forgot now.

02:21:35.000 I saw him that night.

02:21:35.000 He was having a blast.

02:21:36.000 He was having a blast.

02:21:38.000 Yeah, obviously.

02:21:40.000 Your dog just tried to eat something off the table.

02:21:43.000 No, it was treats.

02:21:44.000 Easy.

02:21:44.000 Joe, my dog's cool.

02:21:45.000 Don't mix up the treats.

02:21:46.000 I'm not worried about your dog being cool.

02:21:48.000 Your dog's very cool. 0.99

02:21:49.000 I just don't want your dog to accidentally get fucked up. 1.00

02:21:50.000 Joe just doesn't trust you. 0.99

02:21:52.000 He's like, no way I can train this dog right.

02:21:55.000 She's so sweet.

02:21:55.000 Even the dogs are yawning.

02:21:57.000 Look at that face.

02:21:58.000 Oh, I have a big announcement to make.

02:21:59.000 What's the announcement?

02:22:02.000 Skankfest is the last weekend of September.

02:22:04.000 What?

02:22:05.000 Next year?

02:22:07.000 That's a big announcement.

02:22:09.000 No one's going to remember that, bro.

02:22:10.000 We'll do three or four Protect Our Parks between now and then.

02:22:14.000 It's happening.

02:22:14.000 That's a long time.

02:22:15.000 Wait, here's a question.

02:22:17.000 Who will die first out of all of us?

02:22:19.000 That's a good question.

02:22:20.000 Someone will die first out of all of us.

02:22:21.000 Someone will die first out of all of us.

02:22:24.000 Someone will die first out of all of us.

02:22:25.000 I could be Ari.

02:22:26.000 Well, you're going to be in Guatemala fighting the pirates or who knows what.

02:22:30.000 If I die, it'll be weird.

02:22:32.000 It'd be under weird circumstances. 0.99

02:22:34.000 You'd get killed by an octopus.

02:22:35.000 Yeah, you could even China.

02:22:37.000 Who knows?

02:22:37.000 Who guys first seen all of us?

02:22:39.000 That's a good question.

02:22:40.000 One of us statistically, maybe J-Mo, but statistically, one of us will die.

02:22:43.000 J-Mo's pretty good.

02:22:45.000 Yeah, you're safe.

02:22:46.000 You're behind a desk.

02:22:46.000 I feel like it'd be me or Shane, probably.

02:22:48.000 You think? 0.87

02:22:49.000 Die first, yeah.

02:22:51.000 Yeah, we're taking chances.

02:22:52.000 All right.

02:22:52.000 Living life.

02:22:54.000 We're out there.

02:22:55.000 Just doing drugs.

02:22:56.000 Not doing much else.

02:22:58.000 Out there hustling.

02:22:58.000 Life is for living.

02:23:00.000 Keeping it real.

02:23:01.000 One of them is real, dude.

02:23:03.000 That's the problem.

02:23:03.000 I mean, think about how many comics since we've started have died.

02:23:06.000 A lot. 1.00

02:23:07.000 Patrice, Ralphie Mae, fucking fentanyl folk. 1.00

02:23:10.000 It happens. 1.00

02:23:13.000 Oh, boy.

02:23:13.000 Suicide.

02:23:14.000 Suicide?

02:23:16.000 It's rough.

02:23:17.000 Yeah, Geraldo. 0.99

02:23:17.000 What the fuck are we doing again? 0.99

02:23:19.000 Yeah, what are we doing? 0.99

02:23:19.000 Can we go back to good stuff? 0.99

02:23:21.000 All right, that's a cute dog.

02:23:25.000 It's just, you know.

02:23:27.000 Who's in charge there?

02:23:29.000 Norman, get us another topic.

02:23:34.000 We're gonna be okay.

02:23:35.000 We're gonna be okay.

02:23:36.000 It's just that you don't appreciate, you don't want to live forever.

02:23:40.000 You see Alyssa Milano and Musk fighting?

02:23:42.000 That was fun.

02:23:43.000 That's adorable.

02:23:44.000 Yeah, she bought a Volkswagen.

02:23:46.000 Yeah, because she said there's too many Nazis on Twitter. 0.98

02:23:49.000 It's so funny that they're like, oh, yeah, we don't care about recycling anymore.

02:23:52.000 I'm playing a car created by Nazis. 0.97

02:23:54.000 Balenciaga was Nazi, too.

02:23:56.000 Was he?

02:23:56.000 Was it?

02:23:57.000 Yeah, that was a Nazi company. 0.56

02:23:58.000 Oh, my God.

02:23:59.000 So was Adidas.

02:24:00.000 Maybe that's the one I'm thinking.

02:24:01.000 Adidas was a Nazi company. 0.68

02:24:02.000 There you go.

02:24:03.000 Yeah, Adidas, that was the craziest thing about them dropping Kanye.

02:24:06.000 Was it like Hugo Boss?

02:24:06.000 Yeah.

02:24:07.000 Hugo Boss for sure.

02:24:08.000 IBM. I got fired from the IBM spot because of a tweet once, but I was like, you made systems to process Jews faster. 1.00

02:24:15.000 Yeah.

02:24:16.000 Wasn't, didn't Audi make like one of the very first race cars for Hitler? 0.52

02:24:21.000 What?

02:24:21.000 Wasn't there a race car for Hitler that was made by Audi?

02:24:24.000 Get away! 1.00

02:24:24.000 Try to do a speed train. 1.00

02:24:25.000 It's a dope looking car too.

02:24:26.000 Pull it up! 1.00

02:24:27.000 It's not the fucking engineer's fault that they were stuck in Nazi Germany. 1.00

02:24:31.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:24:32.000 But those guys were bad motherfuckers. 1.00

02:24:33.000 They made this dope ass car that was like a... 1.00

02:24:38.000 It was supposed to like win the war or win, you know, races for the Nazi Party. 0.98

02:24:42.000 Well, he hated that Jesse Owens, I'll tell you that.

02:24:44.000 He really did hate Jesse Owens.

02:24:46.000 That's the Mercedes, but he had a race car.

02:24:49.000 Oh, that's sexy.

02:24:50.000 So why don't you just Google...

02:24:53.000 Googled BMW and I clicked on the wrong one as well.

02:24:56.000 That's not a race car.

02:24:57.000 No, but did you do Audi?

02:24:58.000 Did you try Audi?

02:24:59.000 Oh, you didn't hear me.

02:25:00.000 Okay.

02:25:01.000 Guys, what's going on again?

02:25:03.000 That's it.

02:25:04.000 That's it.

02:25:04.000 The second one there?

02:25:05.000 Right there.

02:25:06.000 That's the car.

02:25:07.000 Oh, that's cool. 0.99

02:25:07.000 It looks like a dick. 0.99

02:25:08.000 So look at how the Audi symbol in the front. 0.99

02:25:10.000 Oh, yeah.

02:25:11.000 That's a dope little car, man.

02:25:12.000 That's a cool car.

02:25:13.000 That would win a war. 0.96

02:25:14.000 Pulling up to the comedy club and that?

02:25:16.000 To Brett Favre.

02:25:16.000 That's the craziest thing about the German engineers.

02:25:20.000 That's amazing, but you've got 4.5 now.

02:25:23.000 Don't sell yourself short.

02:25:24.000 The thing about the engineering back then, do you know how much better that was than anything America was making?

02:25:29.000 Look at this, though.

02:25:30.000 This has the Mercedes symbol on it?

02:25:32.000 Yeah.

02:25:33.000 That one has the Audi symbol on it.

02:25:34.000 Yeah, I think they were connected somehow or another.

02:25:36.000 It's almost like it was a conspiracy to try to bring them down.

02:25:41.000 I think he might be onto something.

02:25:43.000 Yeah, I forget what the connection is.

02:25:45.000 I forget what that worked, but I do remember the Audi symbol in the front.

02:25:48.000 It was the same car, yeah.

02:25:49.000 You know what's amazing?

02:25:50.000 Your dog likes me, dude.

02:25:51.000 He does like you.

02:25:52.000 It's a good dog. 0.98

02:25:53.000 You know what's amazing is how many people came out of that Nazi party that were fucking incredible engineers to the point where the United States adopted a bunch of them, the Soviets took a bunch of them. 0.96

02:26:03.000 They took all these scientists. 0.91

02:26:05.000 Well, a lot of them moved to South America.

02:26:07.000 Yeah, Argentina.

02:26:08.000 That's why they're very white down there. 0.99

02:26:10.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:26:10.000 Because of the German jizz. 0.98

02:26:12.000 Well, there's towns down there that are, like, fully German towns.

02:26:16.000 Oh, is that right?

02:26:17.000 Yeah, they have Oktoberfest.

02:26:18.000 Oh, yeah, they went there and drove.

02:26:20.000 Yeah.

02:26:21.000 That's fun.

02:26:21.000 Tim Kennedy did that show called Finding Hitler.

02:26:25.000 So many Hitler shows. 0.92

02:26:27.000 It was what the rumor was.

02:26:31.000 The conspiracy theory was that Hitler had escaped and Hitler had made it to South America. 0.91

02:26:36.000 And that sounds ridiculous.

02:26:38.000 But for sure, Nazis made it to South America. 1.00

02:26:42.000 For fucking sure. 0.99

02:26:43.000 So that was where the rumor came from. 0.99

02:26:45.000 I could see it.

02:26:46.000 I don't know.

02:26:46.000 No, they found it.

02:26:47.000 Did they? 0.91

02:26:47.000 Yeah, he killed it. 0.91

02:26:48.000 He shot himself in the head.

02:26:49.000 They didn't find his body, though.

02:26:50.000 What?

02:26:50.000 They burned it.

02:26:51.000 He had his guys burn it. 0.82

02:26:54.000 He ate cyanide, shot himself, and then they burned the body. 0.61

02:26:57.000 Jesus Christ.

02:26:58.000 So no one would plan a victory? 0.99

02:27:00.000 Because he knew we'd be on the Joe Rogan Experience going, where the fuck did that guy go? 0.98

02:27:06.000 Where's his body? 1.00

02:27:06.000 Where the fuck is he, dude? 1.00

02:27:08.000 What's in the bag? 0.99

02:27:10.000 What's in the box? 0.97

02:27:11.000 Yeah, you gotta think about how many fucking insanely brilliant engineers and rocket scientists came out of that horrible regime. 0.95

02:27:22.000 Hitler and Eva Braun's remains were burnt in a shell crater outside the emergency exit at the left. 0.96

02:27:28.000 Who said it?

02:27:29.000 Seems suspicious.

02:27:31.000 I think Argentina's a better solution.

02:27:33.000 What do you mean?

02:27:34.000 Oh, going to Argentina.

02:27:35.000 Kindler goes to Argentina.

02:27:37.000 Let me just throw this out.

02:27:38.000 Instead of shooting ourselves, Argentina.

02:27:41.000 Imagine they all just live in this town together and they go like this.

02:27:43.000 Phew! 1.00

02:27:44.000 What the fuck just happened? 1.00

02:27:46.000 What the fuck was going on? 1.00

02:27:51.000 We lost our minds back there. 0.99

02:27:52.000 We gotta just accept everybody for who they are.

02:27:54.000 Agreed.

02:27:55.000 Agreed.

02:27:55.000 We went too far.

02:27:57.000 They had a good run.

02:27:58.000 Agreed.

02:27:58.000 I guess they just settled down and...

02:28:01.000 Now they just live there.

02:28:03.000 Yeah.

02:28:03.000 They're retired.

02:28:04.000 Like, there's pictures on people's walls of, like, SS soldiers.

02:28:08.000 Why do we talk about Hitler more than Mao?

02:28:10.000 Mao killed more people.

02:28:11.000 Yeah.

02:28:12.000 I don't know enough about that.

02:28:13.000 Stop Asian hate.

02:28:14.000 Yeah, I don't know enough about Mao.

02:28:16.000 Ah.

02:28:17.000 Mao Ying?

02:28:19.000 But it's also, it's like, what do you have the most video footage of?

02:28:22.000 Right.

02:28:23.000 That's what has the big impact.

02:28:24.000 That's what it is.

02:28:25.000 We got the footage.

02:28:26.000 And Hitler was such a compelling speaker. 0.94

02:28:29.000 Such a scary speaker. 1.00

02:28:30.000 With that creepy ass mustache. 1.00

02:28:32.000 He ruined that mustache forever. 0.99

02:28:34.000 Shane would like to rock it, but he can't.

02:28:35.000 I want that mustache.

02:28:37.000 If Hitler wasn't a thing and you had that mustache too. 0.91

02:28:40.000 That mustache was preposterous.

02:28:41.000 You could own that mustache.

02:28:42.000 Even Adolf.

02:28:43.000 It makes your face even fatter.

02:28:46.000 That little tiny thing.

02:28:48.000 That's true.

02:28:48.000 Well, it's supposed to be Charlie Chaplin.

02:28:50.000 That's what he did it after.

02:28:51.000 His favorite comedian.

02:28:53.000 What?

02:28:54.000 No.

02:28:54.000 For real.

02:28:55.000 Yeah.

02:28:55.000 Well, Hitler.

02:28:56.000 MJ brought it back.

02:28:56.000 Miles Jordan tried it for a while.

02:28:58.000 If anybody could do it, he could do it, and even he couldn't do it.

02:29:00.000 Well, he's the best at what he does as well as Hitler. 0.98

02:29:02.000 He had to let it go.

02:29:04.000 But wait a minute.

02:29:05.000 I'm telling you, Chaplin was the reason.

02:29:07.000 No way, really?

02:29:08.000 Pull it up.

02:29:09.000 I heard him think that he liked Napoleon so much.

02:29:11.000 Hitler loved Napoleon. 0.91

02:29:12.000 He was a great world leader, took over, dominated.

02:29:14.000 So Napoleon had this tomb, whatever.

02:29:17.000 He's fine, he's fine.

02:29:19.000 And he would make everybody, he built it small, so when you entered Napoleon's tomb, you had to lower your head out of respect.

02:29:25.000 And Hitler knew that, and he goes, in the church in Notre Dame, and he goes, build me a series of mirrors so I don't have to lower my head. 0.99

02:29:32.000 I still want to see this fucking tomb. 1.00

02:29:33.000 I'm not lowering my head to this motherfucker. 1.00

02:29:35.000 Whoa! 1.00

02:29:35.000 Yeah, and he was able to see his body standing straight up. 1.00

02:29:38.000 Damn! 1.00

02:29:40.000 Jesus. 1.00

02:29:41.000 What a fucking dumbass. 1.00

02:29:43.000 That's why I lost the war. 1.00

02:29:44.000 What a jerk. 1.00

02:29:46.000 He was so gay. 1.00

02:29:47.000 You know what I mean. 0.99

02:29:49.000 A filled Bavarian mustache, the kind of extravagant chops you can hang a hat on.

02:29:54.000 However, his superiors in the Bavarian Infantry Division ordered him to clip his mustache down so his gas mask would fit over his mouth properly.

02:30:04.000 So that's why you had a mustache like that. 1.00

02:30:06.000 Damn it. 1.00

02:30:06.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:30:08.000 So that mustache was to make a gas mask fit right.

02:30:12.000 Yeah, did you watch All Quiet on the Western Front?

02:30:14.000 No.

02:30:15.000 No.

02:30:15.000 How is it?

02:30:16.000 I don't want to get depressed.

02:30:16.000 You want to talk about a true bummer?

02:30:18.000 That was a bummer.

02:30:19.000 Oh man.

02:30:20.000 What do you mean? 0.99

02:30:21.000 The fucking World War I was a bummer, dude. 0.99

02:30:23.000 Oh, yeah. 0.98

02:30:24.000 Well, it doesn't get talked about because of the sequel.

02:30:25.000 It was a true bummer.

02:30:26.000 Oh, my God.

02:30:27.000 It's like Terminator.

02:30:28.000 Yeah, that's why the sequel happened.

02:30:29.000 That's why he was out there. 0.99

02:30:31.000 Old Adolf was out there saying, what the fuck? 0.99

02:30:33.000 Why'd we do this? 1.00

02:30:34.000 Because it was the worst, most pointless war.

02:30:36.000 Really?

02:30:37.000 I mean, the worst was what they did.

02:30:39.000 Two.

02:30:40.000 Part two on the Eastern Front was the worst of all time.

02:30:43.000 Why was...

02:30:43.000 Oh, hold on.

02:30:46.000 It's bad, dude.

02:30:46.000 I'm not playing.

02:30:47.000 What was the point?

02:30:48.000 Was it Franz Ferdinand?

02:30:49.000 Was that it?

02:30:50.000 Yeah.

02:30:52.000 I mean, there's no reason.

02:30:54.000 There was no reason.

02:30:54.000 Come on.

02:30:55.000 There's gotta be a reason.

02:30:56.000 They got talked into it?

02:30:57.000 They didn't know, I guess?

02:31:00.000 Well, what do they think the reason was?

02:31:03.000 Allegedly, it was... 0.85

02:31:04.000 He was gay from Mussolini? 0.89

02:31:06.000 Franz Ferdinand got shot. 0.95

02:31:07.000 Yeah.

02:31:07.000 And then...

02:31:09.000 Germany was like, alright, we support your... 0.59

02:31:11.000 Well, it was an Austrian. 0.71

02:31:12.000 He was Austrian.

02:31:14.000 Versus, what, Serbia?

02:31:16.000 It was in Serbia? 1.00

02:31:17.000 I don't know, fuck it. 1.00

02:31:18.000 I don't want to do this. 1.00

02:31:19.000 You're the history guy.

02:31:21.000 You can't do history on mushrooms.

02:31:22.000 Everybody jumped in on everybody's sides.

02:31:24.000 That's a podcast.

02:31:25.000 History on mushrooms.

02:31:26.000 Jeremy was the first.

02:31:29.000 You can't shoot him.

02:31:31.000 We'll step in.

02:31:32.000 Then we all got to step in.

02:31:35.000 Then they all stepped in.

02:31:37.000 What's really crazy is that kind of warfare is not that far long ago.

02:31:42.000 Not that long ago at all, man.

02:31:45.000 That's how they used to march towards each other.

02:31:48.000 That was one, though, right?

02:31:50.000 But two, eight years ago.

02:31:51.000 But at least the Revolutionary War, you know why it started.

02:31:55.000 But you know why they're doing it, because of slavery, right?

02:31:58.000 Do you know what Metzger said to me last night that was intense? 0.91

02:32:02.000 Metzger goes, he goes, don't you fucking notice in video games, the number one video game is a World War II game? 0.88

02:32:08.000 He goes, is this the last one people feel good about winning? 0.98

02:32:11.000 World War II. You can go back to World War II. We were the good guys.

02:32:15.000 So that's the reason why you don't have modern weapons.

02:32:19.000 You can't move quicker.

02:32:21.000 Yeah, there's no Ukraine, Russia. 0.73

02:32:22.000 Everybody likes to duke it out like they're in the 40s. 1.00

02:32:25.000 You have real now warfare where they go like blowing up holes in like windows and like, sorry, keep your fucking dinner. 0.99

02:32:32.000 We'll move on. 0.99

02:32:33.000 Now it's drones.

02:32:34.000 You're like some regular person and you get online and you play like one of those games against these psychos that are on all day long.

02:32:42.000 All day long.

02:32:44.000 Just kidding.

02:32:44.000 There's people that are playing those games all day long.

02:32:50.000 Hi guys, you're Modern Warfare.

02:32:51.000 I tried to play it.

02:32:52.000 I tried to play them all the time.

02:32:54.000 I get killed right away. 0.74

02:32:55.000 You poked your head up, it's gone. 0.99

02:32:56.000 It'll be a pink mist. 1.00

02:32:58.000 Motherfucker. 1.00

02:32:59.000 What? 1.00

02:33:00.000 These are strong.

02:33:01.000 What are you guys talking about?

02:33:02.000 These are strong.

02:33:03.000 The mushrooms. 1.00

02:33:04.000 Yeah, they're strong as fuck. 0.99

02:33:05.000 I know! 1.00

02:33:07.000 Goddamn. 1.00

02:33:08.000 Video games are dangerous. 1.00

02:33:11.000 They could take your life.

02:33:13.000 Absorb your life into a video game.

02:33:15.000 You're going to have so much fun, you're not even going to feel bad about it.

02:33:18.000 But then you look back, you're like, how many hours was that?

02:33:21.000 Just sitting in that room.

02:33:22.000 The last Call of Duty War Zone was built on Ukraine in a war zone, and it was way too close to reality.

02:33:29.000 There's real-life places that were really there in a city called Dostoyevsky.

02:33:34.000 It's the monkey on the left.

02:33:36.000 Huh?

02:33:36.000 You see the monkey in the shadow?

02:33:38.000 Jesus Christ.

02:33:39.000 They have a stadium.

02:33:40.000 They have different banks and whatnot.

02:33:43.000 That's insane.

02:33:44.000 Different parts of the city.

02:33:45.000 And it came out right when the pandemic started.

02:33:49.000 And then two years later, there's an actual war going on where all this is happening.

02:33:54.000 Are these real maps of the area?

02:33:57.000 It's not a one-to-one recreation, but it's very close.

02:34:00.000 These places exist.

02:34:02.000 People have found them on Google Maps.

02:34:03.000 Wow.

02:34:04.000 See, we make fun of these gamers.

02:34:06.000 We're going to need them.

02:34:06.000 Well, I'm making fun of them, but you know, they do say that it does improve your brain function.

02:34:11.000 Oh, yeah!

02:34:12.000 Like, we wanted to say, oh, you have to play chess in order to make your brain function better.

02:34:17.000 Like, no, no, it's kind of any games.

02:34:19.000 I think it's any games.

02:34:21.000 Puzzles.

02:34:22.000 Solving things.

02:34:23.000 You know?

02:34:24.000 Chess pains.

02:34:25.000 But yeah, no, they're good for depression as well.

02:34:28.000 Games are?

02:34:29.000 Video games are?

02:34:29.000 They cause depression in me.

02:34:31.000 Oh really?

02:34:32.000 What am I doing in my life?

02:34:34.000 Candy Crush.

02:34:36.000 Sometimes you get done with them and you're like, what happened?

02:34:39.000 I know.

02:34:40.000 Where did the day go?

02:34:43.000 It's so funny.

02:34:44.000 To get addicted to cell phone games.

02:34:45.000 I got rid of Angry Birds.

02:34:46.000 To like Zuma and Angry Birds.

02:34:48.000 Yeah.

02:34:48.000 Playing Angry Birds at home is so funny.

02:34:50.000 What's that subway surfer one?

02:34:51.000 I know.

02:34:52.000 It's sad.

02:34:53.000 Subway surfer dudes.

02:34:54.000 What's the subway? 1.00

02:34:55.000 Same shit. 1.00

02:34:56.000 Yeah, you're always jumping over stuff. 1.00

02:34:59.000 It's so addictive.

02:35:00.000 I know.

02:35:01.000 You can't help yourself.

02:35:02.000 Yeah, you could be reading, but they're fun. 0.99

02:35:05.000 Yeah, you could be learning shit, but would you be enjoying yourself as much? 0.99

02:35:10.000 That's the problem. 0.99

02:35:10.000 They give you something, but we just want to discount the enjoyment that they give you. 0.99

02:35:14.000 We love all kinds of enjoyment, but if you get enjoyment from a screen, what are you doing?

02:35:19.000 Waste your life getting enjoyment just doing that.

02:35:22.000 Yeah.

02:35:23.000 Like, if you just sit and meditate, everybody's cool with it.

02:35:25.000 Oh, good job.

02:35:26.000 Oh, yeah, that's true.

02:35:29.000 You sit in the same spot.

02:35:31.000 You sit in the same spot.

02:35:32.000 Like, one way, you're watching something, and the other way, you're like, oh, mmm.

02:35:37.000 And we're like, that guy's good.

02:35:38.000 Yeah, we've decided that that's better.

02:35:39.000 Isn't that weird?

02:35:40.000 It's interesting.

02:35:41.000 Same with a book. 0.98

02:35:42.000 You hold a book open, but you're like, that's a smart guy getting shit done. 0.52

02:35:45.000 But you could be reading a Kindle, and I go, ah, he's on a screen. 0.87

02:35:49.000 I think meditating is good for you, don't get me wrong, but if you're meditating, there's a part of you that's like, I'm just going to just settle down and relax.

02:36:00.000 Oh, that was good.

02:36:01.000 Just gonna find my center and then approach life from here.

02:36:06.000 Wait, what about this?

02:36:07.000 This might be the shrooms talking, but what if we have real problems in America?

02:36:11.000 What if we made them into video games and let kids solve them?

02:36:14.000 And then we'd solve problems.

02:36:17.000 Alright.

02:36:18.000 Well, I'm just saying, you know, you got...

02:36:20.000 Can you imagine if that's how World Events...

02:36:21.000 That's a movie and that's two movies.

02:36:23.000 That's Project X with Matthew Broderick and Ender's Game.

02:36:26.000 Thank God you're here.

02:36:27.000 These guys are about to discount that.

02:36:29.000 And now it's the movie.

02:36:31.000 Well, he wasn't going.

02:36:31.000 Jamie pulls out references.

02:36:33.000 Thank you, J-Mo.

02:36:34.000 He pulled out Ender's Game. 0.99

02:36:36.000 They make a kid think he's playing a game, but he's actually, like, controlling the whole fucking army. 0.99

02:36:39.000 You see? 0.99

02:36:40.000 SimCity!

02:36:40.000 I wasn't making fun of you.

02:36:41.000 Alright, well, the whole thing just... 0.96

02:36:43.000 Shut down.

02:36:44.000 If they just keep making drones, our drones fight each other.

02:36:48.000 That's gonna happen.

02:36:49.000 Yeah, drone fight drones. 0.99

02:36:50.000 How long before we have like proxy wars with machines going after each other?

02:36:55.000 Mistake!

02:36:56.000 I mean, we have...

02:36:58.000 Mistake! 1.00

02:36:59.000 Sitting in this whole fucking show. 1.00

02:37:00.000 I don't know, but we're trying to do a show here with entertainment. 1.00

02:37:04.000 You just got here? 0.99

02:37:04.000 God damn it. 0.99

02:37:06.000 You just got there? 1.00

02:37:07.000 Yeah, your face is this fucking big. 1.00

02:37:09.000 Jesus Christ. 0.99

02:37:11.000 I thought you were Buddha.

02:37:13.000 You look like one of those Eastern Island cuts.

02:37:15.000 You know what I'm talking about?

02:37:20.000 You're freaking me out!

02:37:21.000 Temple of Doom!

02:37:27.000 It'd be so funny if we just, tomorrow, delete it.

02:37:31.000 I still can't believe his pile of notes.

02:37:34.000 It could happen.

02:37:36.000 I still can't believe your pile of notes, man.

02:37:38.000 And you insist on keeping them in your pocket.

02:37:40.000 I got some new stuff on here.

02:37:41.000 You're going to get a bad back, man.

02:37:44.000 The pile of notes is nuts.

02:37:46.000 Strong as an ox.

02:37:47.000 I used to keep my wallet back there.

02:37:48.000 I had a guy when I was playing poker.

02:37:49.000 He's like, hey, I used to do that.

02:37:51.000 It'll give you sciatica.

02:37:52.000 And I was like, all right.

02:37:53.000 He goes, no, I have terrible back pain all the time.

02:37:55.000 You should take it out right now.

02:37:56.000 Really? 0.98

02:37:57.000 Yeah, if you have like an imbalance, like a big fat wallet on one side and you sit on it, you're gonna get a fucked up back. 0.98

02:38:04.000 Really? 0.67

02:38:04.000 Yeah, it's a lot of pressure on one side of the disc. 0.67

02:38:07.000 So your body's hinging. 0.99

02:38:08.000 Alright, so you're constantly hinging and you're putting like this unnatural weight on one side of your back because you've got a rock under your ass. 0.99

02:38:15.000 So you're sitting like this. 0.98

02:38:17.000 So it puts more pressure on one side.

02:38:19.000 It can cause bulging discs.

02:38:21.000 Yeah, you shouldn't sit with anything in your back pocket.

02:38:24.000 Front pocket!

02:38:25.000 You have a solution!

02:38:26.000 Just front pocket!

02:38:27.000 I got my keys in there!

02:38:28.000 Oh my god.

02:38:30.000 See how that guy's sitting?

02:38:32.000 That's Norman!

02:38:33.000 That's you. 0.52

02:38:33.000 With that fat wallet. 0.52

02:38:34.000 See how his back's all fucked up? 1.00

02:38:36.000 That's like your back, right? 0.99

02:38:37.000 Yeah, that is my back.

02:38:39.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:38:39.000 Hold on.

02:38:40.000 Trust me.

02:38:41.000 It's Tsursus.

02:38:44.000 That was a false alarm.

02:38:46.000 I tried and I squirted.

02:38:48.000 Did you?

02:38:49.000 Yeah, can we get the dog in here? 0.67

02:38:51.000 Let's lick that up.

02:39:00.000 This is too much!

02:39:01.000 What an uncomfortable plan for it to be very high on.

02:39:04.000 It's perfect.

02:39:06.000 It's perfect. 1.00

02:39:07.000 Dude, it was so funny seeing on like CNN or some dumb shit thing. 0.99

02:39:10.000 They go, Joe Rogan weighs in on this. 0.99

02:39:12.000 And it was you and Duncan.

02:39:13.000 And I was like, oh, what?

02:39:15.000 But...

02:39:15.000 It was just you in costumes.

02:39:17.000 We were dressed like clowns.

02:39:19.000 And they're like ignoring that.

02:39:21.000 We were dressed like clowns where the show was lit by candles.

02:39:26.000 Every show we do.

02:39:27.000 They're literally quoting you on a news cycle.

02:39:29.000 Dude, they've quoted me before where I was dressed like one of the patriots.

02:39:35.000 The powdered wig and all that.

02:39:37.000 Yeah, I had a powder wig on, I put the costume on, and we're talking about freedom and liberty.

02:39:41.000 Look at that.

02:39:43.000 Look how classy-eyed you are!

02:39:47.000 We're barbecued.

02:39:51.000 And then look at that one.

02:39:52.000 I was dressed like an astronaut.

02:39:53.000 He was in a ghillie suit.

02:39:58.000 He's the best.

02:40:00.000 Smart guy.

02:40:01.000 I do some of the best podcasts ever with him.

02:40:03.000 He's so fun.

02:40:05.000 Is this your first shroom ep?

02:40:06.000 No, I did shrooms with Post Malone.

02:40:09.000 That was probably the first one I did.

02:40:11.000 Post Malone rules.

02:40:12.000 Does he?

02:40:13.000 Yeah.

02:40:13.000 He definitely rules.

02:40:14.000 Really?

02:40:15.000 I don't know.

02:40:15.000 He rules.

02:40:16.000 I'd like to know.

02:40:17.000 He's great.

02:40:17.000 He's a great guy, too.

02:40:18.000 His Nirvana thing was great. 0.99

02:40:19.000 He's fucking great. 0.98

02:40:20.000 He's also really fun to hang out with. 1.00

02:40:22.000 We had a good fucking time. 0.99

02:40:24.000 It was a lot of fun. 1.00

02:40:25.000 We were laughing, and he was talking about kicking a wolf's ass. 1.00

02:40:29.000 He was like, I wish some bitch-ass wolf would try. 1.00

02:40:34.000 But he knew. 1.00

02:40:39.000 We were just talking shit. 1.00

02:40:40.000 And we were laughing hard, man. 1.00

02:40:43.000 He's a funny dude, man.

02:40:45.000 He's a funny dude.

02:40:46.000 That dude could be a comic.

02:40:48.000 Alright. 0.97

02:40:49.000 No bullshit. 0.70

02:40:50.000 Yeah, he's a funny dude. 0.80

02:40:51.000 He tells funny stories.

02:40:52.000 I wish a wolf would try. 1.00

02:40:53.000 I wish that bitch-ass wolf would try. 1.00

02:40:56.000 I mean, we're barbecued, and we're just talking nonsense. 1.00

02:40:59.000 I'm pretty sure we were drinking, too.

02:41:00.000 It was a lot.

02:41:02.000 There was a lot going on in that episode.

02:41:03.000 But it was really fun. 0.99

02:41:04.000 But he's just a fucking regular dude who's got a wild talent. 0.99

02:41:09.000 Everybody's a regular guy. 0.99

02:41:11.000 Exactly.

02:41:12.000 Every single celeb.

02:41:13.000 They started out regular.

02:41:14.000 Yeah, everybody.

02:41:15.000 And when they're not, it's just a defensive mechanism.

02:41:17.000 Exactly.

02:41:18.000 I feel bad for the face tattoos.

02:41:19.000 How are you going to get a job?

02:41:21.000 You'll be okay.

02:41:23.000 Kids like the face tattoos today.

02:41:25.000 Quiznos.

02:41:26.000 For some reason.

02:41:26.000 They won't hire me.

02:41:28.000 Those face tattoos say I don't give a fuck! 1.00

02:41:30.000 It's a red flag to an HR. I'll scribble on my face! 1.00

02:41:33.000 Not a bad looking guy, I guess.

02:41:35.000 Great looking guy.

02:41:36.000 Good hairline.

02:41:37.000 I like it.

02:41:38.000 Yeah, good hairline.

02:41:39.000 You gotta love the hairline.

02:41:40.000 Yeah.

02:41:41.000 Solid.

02:41:41.000 Woo!

02:41:42.000 Look at those mitts! 1.00

02:41:44.000 Your hands are fucking wild, dude. 1.00

02:41:46.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:41:47.000 It looks like those Hulk hands.

02:41:48.000 It looks like he's wearing the gloves.

02:41:50.000 Yeah.

02:41:50.000 When I was little, it was very weird when I was young.

02:41:53.000 Imagine Joe Rogan as a six-year-old with those hands.

02:41:55.000 I had a gangly little body with these big-ass hands.

02:41:58.000 Breaking blocks.

02:41:59.000 When I first started doing martial arts, I was skinny, really skinny, but I had these big-ass hands and feet.

02:42:04.000 It's weird.

02:42:05.000 Decent dong.

02:42:07.000 Dong said the same. 0.82

02:42:08.000 That's a rumor going around.

02:42:12.000 Fitzsimmons too. 0.98

02:42:13.000 Huge hog. 1.00

02:42:15.000 I bet he got an angry dick. 1.00

02:42:17.000 Oh, Irish potato dick. 1.00

02:42:19.000 Angry pale dick. 1.00

02:42:21.000 Pale. 1.00

02:42:21.000 Definitely pale. 1.00

02:42:22.000 It can be 19 inches.

02:42:23.000 It's pale.

02:42:25.000 Coming to get you. 1.00

02:42:27.000 He's Irish man like a fucking Northman. 1.00

02:42:31.000 You're about to get impaled. 1.00

02:42:34.000 You're ready for this pounding. 0.99

02:42:37.000 I got a mole on mine.

02:42:38.000 No way!

02:42:39.000 That's a problem!

02:42:41.000 Isn't it a trip how different people agree to talk in different parts of the world?

02:42:46.000 We just talk, hi, give it a pound, and you know it's from that part of the world.

02:42:50.000 That's true.

02:42:51.000 If you're talking like us, if you're over there, if you're in England, and you're doing an impression of an American, and you're talking like us, it's probably hilarious.

02:42:57.000 But it's funny that Boston is the transition.

02:43:00.000 That's still a little hang-up from English.

02:43:02.000 Yeah.

02:43:02.000 Do you know sign language is a different language in different countries?

02:43:05.000 Oh, no.

02:43:06.000 What a drag. 0.98

02:43:07.000 One chance to get it right.

02:43:09.000 They can't communicate with each other.

02:43:11.000 You only had one chance to get that right.

02:43:13.000 As soon as it gets scattered, it's gonna be like Bitcoin.

02:43:16.000 It's gonna be like all these other doggy coins.

02:43:18.000 And it's also English.

02:43:20.000 Irish sign language is different than English sign language is different than American sign language.

02:43:25.000 And someone's probably gonna patent it and say, no, this is RE sign language.

02:43:28.000 Everybody else's sign language. 1.00

02:43:30.000 Go fuck themselves. 1.00

02:43:31.000 But if you want to use this one, I got a piece. 1.00

02:43:33.000 Yeah, it's a bummer.

02:43:34.000 What if you've got arthritis, too?

02:43:35.000 You can only talk to deaf people in Ireland.

02:43:38.000 That's a good point, Mark Normand.

02:43:40.000 I have a point.

02:43:42.000 That's a good point.

02:43:43.000 I'm just saying, you're mute.

02:43:46.000 Here's a true story.

02:43:47.000 Dave Foley from NewsRadio cured his arthritis with CBD. No, really?

02:43:52.000 Yeah, he used to have, like, heavy arthritis in his hands.

02:43:54.000 Like, his hands didn't move well.

02:43:56.000 He started taking CBD and it just, like, completely...

02:43:58.000 Does it?

02:43:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:44:00.000 I don't know.

02:44:00.000 No.

02:44:02.000 100%. 1.00

02:44:02.000 At minimum, it's the bomb, but whatever it is, rub that shit on sore joints, it works. 1.00

02:44:08.000 No, no, no, no. 0.99

02:44:10.000 It reduces inflammation.

02:44:11.000 It definitely reduces inflammation.

02:44:13.000 Alright.

02:44:13.000 It definitely is good for you.

02:44:15.000 After a hike, it's the best.

02:44:16.000 I feel the difference.

02:44:17.000 And...

02:44:18.000 The combination of the two, the thing is the big one is if you do THC with CBD. When I was in California and it was legal, you could get these things from Speedweed that were like one to one.

02:44:30.000 It was like one THC to one CBD was phenomenal.

02:44:35.000 Alright.

02:44:36.000 That's nice.

02:44:37.000 Because it was like, it relaxed you, it was really good for the muscles, but it also just...

02:44:41.000 Get all tuned up.

02:44:42.000 And it's no side effects. 1.00

02:44:43.000 Tune the fuck. 0.99

02:44:44.000 Exactly. 1.00

02:44:45.000 And you can't get hooked on it.

02:44:47.000 Power, dude.

02:44:48.000 Have you ever tried those to help you sleep?

02:44:50.000 Who?

02:44:50.000 CBD. Like some CBD, like, THC supplements?

02:44:53.000 I have, actually, yeah.

02:44:54.000 That does help.

02:44:55.000 It helps, but it's not enough.

02:44:56.000 I need that punch. 0.87

02:44:57.000 I need a real knockout. 1.00

02:44:58.000 Oof.

02:44:59.000 Oof.

02:45:00.000 I know, it's bad.

02:45:01.000 Ambien works, but it is rough.

02:45:03.000 Like, you wake up on the floor.

02:45:04.000 So the Seroquel is less rough.

02:45:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:45:07.000 Yeah, I know a bunch of people that love the Ambien.

02:45:09.000 Oh, bad news. 0.84

02:45:11.000 A lot of people in the production side of business where they're fucking working constantly and they're overworked and overstressed and they've got to conk out because you've got to be up in seven hours no matter what. 0.86

02:45:22.000 Oh yeah. 0.98

02:45:23.000 Just pop it.

02:45:24.000 Totally.

02:45:24.000 Pop it.

02:45:25.000 Let's go. 1.00

02:45:25.000 But it fucks you. 1.00

02:45:26.000 You're wonky. 1.00

02:45:27.000 And if you wake up, is it possible that you could wake up and be fully Ambien'd up still? 0.79

02:45:32.000 Like Venom, right?

02:45:34.000 That's who those people were.

02:45:35.000 They were awake and not...

02:45:36.000 Venom?

02:45:37.000 Spider-Man, yeah.

02:45:39.000 He would take over Peter Parker and then he'd put him back to bed at the end of the night.

02:45:43.000 Didn't even know he was up crime fighting.

02:45:45.000 You haven't peed yet.

02:45:46.000 No.

02:45:47.000 I'm dying to pee.

02:45:48.000 To the death.

02:45:50.000 What's going on in this bubble you got here?

02:45:53.000 Or this gut you got here.

02:45:55.000 I'm getting fat again.

02:45:57.000 How have you been with the working out?

02:45:59.000 A lot of hoodies.

02:46:00.000 I've been good with the working out, but my food intake is off the charts.

02:46:03.000 Also, booze-in.

02:46:06.000 We've been booze-in a little this month.

02:46:07.000 Booze is empty calories.

02:46:08.000 It's real.

02:46:09.000 Yep.

02:46:10.000 This is my posture.

02:46:10.000 Even whiskey.

02:46:11.000 The problem with doing these Sober October type deals is when you get obsessed and you go through something for like a month, at the end of it you want to celebrate and you don't want to do anything anymore.

02:46:22.000 And I've been trying to keep up the workouts, and I'm going to make myself do five days a week.

02:46:28.000 Jesus, that's all.

02:46:29.000 You got kids, man.

02:46:30.000 It's not an art to do it.

02:46:31.000 You talk in the morning. 1.00

02:46:32.000 You aim for the fucking victory line. 1.00

02:46:34.000 Like, just stay strong until that day, then I'm good. 1.00

02:46:36.000 And then you take a week off, and now it's a new habit.

02:46:38.000 Now it's boozing.

02:46:40.000 What about the kids stuff?

02:46:42.000 Not bad.

02:46:43.000 I'd like to have kids one day and I worry about the comedy.

02:46:45.000 Some kids are going to go, hey, look at your dad's talking about pedophilia.

02:46:48.000 That's a real question.

02:46:49.000 Is that a thing?

02:46:50.000 It is a thing.

02:46:52.000 How do you handle that, dad?

02:46:54.000 You're an adult human being.

02:46:56.000 Adult human beings talk like that.

02:46:58.000 That's what they do.

02:46:58.000 It's an art form.

02:46:59.000 It's called stand-up comedy. 0.98

02:47:00.000 It doesn't mean he fucking means those things. 1.00

02:47:02.000 You can talk a lot of shit in my house. 1.00

02:47:06.000 Really? 1.00

02:47:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:47:07.000 I let my kids talk all kinds of crazy shit. 1.00

02:47:09.000 Oh, that's fun. 1.00

02:47:09.000 It's fun. 1.00

02:47:10.000 And if they crack on you and they get you, it's funny.

02:47:13.000 That's healthy.

02:47:13.000 But it's also like teaching them how to banter with people so people don't make them feel bad.

02:47:18.000 Now, do they get shit from other people who don't like you? 0.99

02:47:22.000 Not that I hear about. 0.99

02:47:23.000 Alright, that's good.

02:47:24.000 They keep it to themselves. 0.95

02:47:25.000 A lot of bullies out there.

02:47:26.000 I still picture a kid like one years old, so whatever.

02:47:30.000 I'm barely able to walk.

02:47:32.000 Yeah, how old are we talking?

02:47:33.000 Look, it's super bizarre being any person that has kids.

02:47:36.000 Yes.

02:47:37.000 Like, you're making little human beings.

02:47:39.000 That's the most bizarre.

02:47:40.000 All the other bizarre stuff, the extra stuff that comes with being famous, that's not nearly as bizarre as just the making the human being part.

02:47:47.000 That's wacky.

02:47:49.000 Everybody gets that.

02:47:50.000 If you're a parent, everybody gets that, which is the wackiest, which is you just made a human.

02:47:55.000 Yes.

02:47:56.000 And now they exist.

02:47:56.000 You've got to teach them stuff and raise them and high-five them.

02:48:00.000 Oh, yeah.

02:48:00.000 And it's crazy you can do that on accident.

02:48:03.000 Yeah.

02:48:03.000 You're just leaving it a little too long.

02:48:05.000 I just have a joke about that.

02:48:06.000 Two seconds.

02:48:06.000 About how it should be like one of them bad action movies where a president and the general have to turn the key to the exact same time.

02:48:13.000 That's what it should be.

02:48:14.000 It should be that much. 1.00

02:48:15.000 You should have a sensor on your dick to make sure it's not hard. 1.00

02:48:21.000 Let this poor fool. 1.00

02:48:25.000 He's getting close to hard. 1.00

02:48:28.000 His choices are getting very, very touchy.

02:48:33.000 I have to pee, but I don't want to look in the mirror. 0.99

02:48:35.000 It's going to fuck me up. 0.99

02:48:36.000 I went and looked in the mirror. 0.99

02:48:37.000 It wasn't great.

02:48:37.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:48:38.000 We got to look at that all day. 1.00

02:48:40.000 The small dick when you pee on... 1.00

02:48:42.000 It's just that exchange right there. 1.00

02:48:45.000 I liked the beer.

02:48:46.000 It wasn't great.

02:48:46.000 I know what you mean.

02:48:49.000 I'm nervous. 0.98

02:48:50.000 We're both fucking Blues Brothers over here. 0.99

02:48:52.000 Look at these shades. 1.00

02:48:55.000 Oh my god.

02:48:56.000 Shade Gillis.

02:48:58.000 Shade Gillis.

02:48:59.000 It's killing me.

02:49:02.000 Shane Gillis!

02:49:03.000 This pod's finally cooking, baby!

02:49:05.000 I mean, you're doodling.

02:49:08.000 He's writing hostage notes. 0.99

02:49:12.000 Who thought fucking psychedelics was a good idea for this podcast? 0.99

02:49:15.000 That was not me, dude. 0.99

02:49:17.000 I said no.

02:49:18.000 I saw your heart and I was like, wait, what?

02:49:21.000 I said no.

02:49:24.000 You did say no.

02:49:25.000 Good times, though.

02:49:27.000 Mark Norman.

02:49:28.000 I had a good time. 1.00

02:49:29.000 Mark's fucked up. 1.00

02:49:30.000 He's fucked up. 1.00

02:49:31.000 He's a weird fucking guy. 1.00

02:49:32.000 I didn't know how weird he was until I saw that stack of notes. 0.99

02:49:35.000 I'm re-evaluating our friendship.

02:49:36.000 The stack of notes is wild. 1.00

02:49:38.000 It's a fucking fucked up thing to see while you're high, too. 1.00

02:49:40.000 It's amazing. 1.00

02:49:41.000 It's your friend's insane notes.

02:49:42.000 Well, that's why he's so funny.

02:49:44.000 It's also like that style of jokes he has on stage.

02:49:47.000 He's off stage.

02:49:48.000 It's mine still just going to this.

02:49:51.000 I'm going to the gym.

02:49:53.000 You're like, what?

02:49:55.000 One thing you have to admit, you gotta admit that stack of notes, that's dedication.

02:50:02.000 That's a real dedication.

02:50:05.000 It's crazy the way he organizes it, but what he's writing down, that amount of focus...

02:50:12.000 Nonstop.

02:50:12.000 He loves it.

02:50:14.000 And he's great.

02:50:15.000 That's why he's so funny, man.

02:50:16.000 Yeah, that's why he's one of the best.

02:50:17.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:50:18.000 Yeah, when he was struggling over like, for that half hour, he's like, give him a Netflix, I don't know.

02:50:22.000 And then at some point, everyone's like, you'll just write a new hour in like six months.

02:50:25.000 He goes, oh yeah, you're right.

02:50:26.000 Yeah.

02:50:27.000 It's so fast.

02:50:29.000 Yeah, he's an animal.

02:50:30.000 Non-stop. 0.99

02:50:31.000 But seeing that thing, I'm like, dude, you're gonna be walking real fucked up when you get old. 1.00

02:50:37.000 You can't sit on your ass like that with, like, one lump over here and one lump over there. 1.00

02:50:41.000 Oh, but the wallet balances it out. 1.00

02:50:43.000 Like, that doesn't count that shit. 0.99

02:50:45.000 You're not supposed to be sitting on these unbalanced things, man. 1.00

02:50:49.000 Just fucking get a fanny pack, pussy. 1.00

02:50:51.000 Look, just like this. 1.00

02:50:53.000 They sell them everywhere.

02:50:55.000 No, I disagree with that.

02:50:56.000 Definitely don't get that.

02:50:57.000 There's another answer.

02:50:58.000 Why are you wearing fanny packs? 1.00

02:50:59.000 Because I don't give a fuck. 0.99

02:51:01.000 That's where I keep my keys. 0.99

02:51:04.000 You should care somewhat.

02:51:05.000 What about your pocket?

02:51:06.000 What about your front pocket for your keys?

02:51:08.000 That's where the weed and the fear factor money goes.

02:51:12.000 Still laying them down.

02:51:14.000 You had to throw a beer pack to money.

02:51:17.000 Because I made a good point. 1.00

02:51:19.000 You're like, well, guess what, bitch? 1.00

02:51:21.000 I had a lot of money. 1.00

02:51:23.000 No, man, I like fanny packs because I don't like shit in my pockets. 0.99

02:51:26.000 I hate stuff in my pockets. 1.00

02:51:27.000 It stabs you when you have to move fast. 1.00

02:51:29.000 If you want to go up a flight of stairs and then you've got this fucking chapstick in your fucking pants. 1.00

02:51:35.000 I watched this fucking psycho walk down an escalator. 1.00

02:51:39.000 He went on the wrong path. 1.00

02:51:41.000 He's always trying to get his little workouts in.

02:51:43.000 It took him a minute.

02:51:48.000 He tried to walk on it.

02:51:50.000 We were hanging out.

02:51:50.000 Once you commit to something, you can just turn around.

02:51:54.000 He's halfway up.

02:51:55.000 I watched him the whole way.

02:51:56.000 I was like, no way he's going to do this. 0.97

02:51:58.000 You guys are such a douchebag move, too, man. 1.00

02:52:00.000 For all the people that are coming up, they're like, what the fuck, buddy? 1.00

02:52:04.000 And you're You're like, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me! 0.98

02:52:08.000 You're barely getting through the river.

02:52:10.000 Yeah, I had luggage, too.

02:52:12.000 You didn't even see it.

02:52:12.000 No, you had luggage!

02:52:13.000 Yeah, it was bad.

02:52:14.000 It was at the lounge, too, the nice lounge.

02:52:17.000 Yeah, luggage!

02:52:17.000 You're going up the...

02:52:19.000 Oh, my God.

02:52:19.000 I was trying to go down.

02:52:21.000 We were going down.

02:52:22.000 He went down the escalator going up, and he like...

02:52:25.000 I've never seen anything like it.

02:52:29.000 Nobody does that.

02:52:33.000 It was bad.

02:52:35.000 You know, we make mistakes. 1.00

02:52:38.000 Take that fucking knot out of your pocket, please. 1.00

02:52:42.000 Just do me a favor. 1.00

02:52:43.000 Get a backpack.

02:52:44.000 Get something manly.

02:52:45.000 Get something that you can live with.

02:52:47.000 Manly?

02:52:47.000 What's more manly than live with pain, baby?

02:52:52.000 You're gonna fuck your back up, I'm telling you. 0.99

02:52:55.000 And once you do, it's not good. 1.00

02:52:58.000 Backs are real bad. 1.00

02:53:00.000 Doctors want to fuse them. 0.78

02:53:02.000 Trust me.

02:53:03.000 I'll take the Percocet.

02:53:05.000 They want to replace discs.

02:53:07.000 Mmm.

02:53:07.000 You want to avoid that if you can.

02:53:09.000 If you can.

02:53:10.000 You scared me now.

02:53:11.000 Yeah, you gotta listen to me.

02:53:12.000 Let's go back to the funny stories.

02:53:14.000 Yeah, but just listen to me, man. 0.99

02:53:15.000 You can't be fucking sitting on a giant five... 0.99

02:53:18.000 It's very... 0.99

02:53:18.000 We were saying it's an amazing testament to your dedication as a stand. 0.99

02:53:22.000 Yeah, we were being nice.

02:53:23.000 Yeah, we were.

02:53:25.000 It's pretty dope.

02:53:26.000 It's kind of inspiring.

02:53:28.000 Let's go back to the disc later. 1.00

02:53:29.000 Stack of fucking papers like that. 0.99

02:53:32.000 That's a lot of writing. 1.00

02:53:33.000 That's actually like, yeah.

02:53:35.000 It's old.

02:53:35.000 A lot of very old stuff.

02:53:37.000 Don't be humble.

02:53:39.000 That's all good stuff.

02:53:41.000 It's great. 1.00

02:53:41.000 That's a pile of stage shit. 1.00

02:53:43.000 You're a psycho. 1.00

02:53:44.000 Brian Humble. 1.00

02:53:44.000 You're a full-on joke-writing psycho. 1.00

02:53:46.000 You are, dude. 1.00

02:53:47.000 That's wild, man.

02:53:48.000 I just don't, I love you and I don't want you to hurt your back.

02:53:50.000 I appreciate it.

02:53:51.000 You just miss all of them. 1.00

02:53:53.000 90% of your shit's undiscovered. 1.00

02:53:55.000 Well, it's because it's fucking gibberish. 1.00

02:54:02.000 Sometimes you're on the walk home, you left Norman, and you're just like, oh, I see what he said. 0.99

02:54:11.000 Dude, it took me like a week and a half to figure out what your six million meant.

02:54:16.000 You're like, believe in yourself.

02:54:17.000 I'm like, dude, you can make it.

02:54:19.000 You can get there.

02:54:20.000 That's funny.

02:54:21.000 I'm giving him a pep talk.

02:54:22.000 I'm like, I'm telling you, eight million's real.

02:54:26.000 Always back to the Holocaust. 0.98

02:54:28.000 Always.

02:54:29.000 You guys won't shut up.

02:54:29.000 It probably wasn't William.

02:54:30.000 When you think about it, it probably wasn't William.

02:54:33.000 So many complaints.

02:54:34.000 I was watching... 1.00

02:54:34.000 I watched that fucking... 1.00

02:54:36.000 I might have talked about this before. 1.00

02:54:38.000 The devil next door, that guy.

02:54:41.000 That was a good movie.

02:54:41.000 Oh, Ivan the Terrible.

02:54:42.000 That was a good movie.

02:54:43.000 I was high enough that it was very, very funny.

02:54:46.000 Is that a documentary?

02:54:47.000 Like, he was just an Ohio factory worker and somebody was like, aren't you that SS guard?

02:54:51.000 And he was like, what? 0.96

02:54:53.000 And they were like, aren't you fucking Ivan the Terrible? 0.98

02:54:56.000 Who's this equally old person? 1.00

02:54:57.000 No!

02:54:59.000 Really?

02:55:00.000 They shipped him back to Jerusalem?

02:55:02.000 He didn't go to Argentina.

02:55:03.000 He went somewhere else.

02:55:04.000 How did he know the look of a Nazi guy?

02:55:07.000 No, no, he was there.

02:55:09.000 Survivor was like, wait, wait, I know this guy.

02:55:12.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:55:12.000 That was a tough question. 0.71

02:55:14.000 Here's the thing, I was watching him for the first time.

02:55:16.000 Obviously, it's extremely dark, but it was funny.

02:55:19.000 If you imagine that he is just a factory worker that's just like, what?

02:55:23.000 And they're like, no, you're that guy.

02:55:25.000 What if he's one of those guys?

02:55:27.000 Yeah, what if he was not that?

02:55:28.000 I think he might be.

02:55:29.000 What if he's one of those guys that looks like Drake?

02:55:32.000 Yeah.

02:55:32.000 That's it.

02:55:33.000 Right?

02:55:34.000 There's a lot of people out there that look like celebs.

02:55:36.000 There's a guy that looks like Tom Selleck.

02:55:37.000 He's real close to Tom Selleck.

02:55:39.000 And now you're 80. And you're like, that is him.

02:55:42.000 Right.

02:55:43.000 And as you're getting older, your face looks... 0.62

02:55:45.000 That's insane. 1.00

02:55:45.000 You're on a fucking plane to Jerusalem where they're going to hang you. 1.00

02:55:49.000 I'm not here! 1.00

02:55:50.000 I'm telling you!

02:55:51.000 What a snitch. 0.95

02:55:52.000 But that's not how he responded.

02:55:54.000 And every single thing in the jury, they're like, are you him?

02:55:56.000 He's like...

02:55:58.000 He wasn't even...

02:55:59.000 What?

02:55:59.000 He was just like, no.

02:56:01.000 I don't know what you guys are talking about.

02:56:04.000 It was so good. 1.00

02:56:05.000 No, I was fucked up. 0.99

02:56:06.000 Do you think it was him? 0.99

02:56:07.000 Last night, yes.

02:56:08.000 Just because nobody...

02:56:09.000 If it was you on trial for... 1.00

02:56:11.000 Were you the fucking... 1.00

02:56:13.000 SS officer at Treblinka, you'd be like, fuck no! 1.00

02:56:16.000 You'd think by the end he'd be like, yeah, it was me, fuck you guys. 1.00

02:56:19.000 I saw it, dude, he hung in there. 1.00

02:56:21.000 Jesus, dude.

02:56:22.000 What happened to the end?

02:56:23.000 Did he get hung?

02:56:24.000 No, he got hung.

02:56:25.000 He hung in there.

02:56:25.000 The scariest thing.

02:56:27.000 Did they hang him?

02:56:28.000 They did.

02:56:28.000 For real?

02:56:28.000 No.

02:56:29.000 He died in prison.

02:56:30.000 Oh, he died in prison.

02:56:31.000 Wait, didn't he die before?

02:56:31.000 He got a five-year sentence and he died trying to get a pill.

02:56:33.000 Oh wait, that's what happened.

02:56:34.000 He was appealing or something like that.

02:56:35.000 He died while he was appealing, so according to their law, he's not guilty.

02:56:41.000 Isn't that the thing?

02:56:42.000 He was not found.

02:56:43.000 There's not enough evidence to find him guilty of being Ivan the Terrible, but they did. 0.93

02:56:48.000 We're at least a guard.

02:56:49.000 I think legally, though, if you die while on trial, you're not guilty.

02:56:53.000 Oh, I don't know.

02:56:53.000 Isn't that a thing?

02:56:54.000 I'm not disagreeing.

02:56:55.000 But who cares? 0.99

02:56:57.000 You're dead anyway. 1.00

02:56:57.000 Yeah, you're dead. 1.00

02:56:58.000 But they try people after their deaths.

02:57:00.000 Yeah, so they no longer seek a determination on his guilt or innocence.

02:57:03.000 German legal system.

02:57:04.000 German legal system. 1.00

02:57:05.000 When they have trials, when people are dumb. 0.99

02:57:07.000 You're talking about your own rules, huh? 0.99

02:57:08.000 Yeah.

02:57:09.000 They've had like these mock trials for people after they're dead.

02:57:12.000 What are you doing?

02:57:13.000 I don't know.

02:57:13.000 Oh, sorry.

02:57:14.000 Ray Charles.

02:57:17.000 They've had those mock trials for people after they're dead, right?

02:57:19.000 Just so they can say, like, you're guilty.

02:57:21.000 Yeah, what does that mean?

02:57:22.000 Is that like a fake trial?

02:57:23.000 Fake trial.

02:57:23.000 Yeah.

02:57:24.000 Is that just for publicity?

02:57:25.000 Yeah.

02:57:26.000 Are there actors?

02:57:27.000 Yeah, does someone have to go play Hitler?

02:57:29.000 We got a lot of questions here, fellas.

02:57:32.000 Jamie's like, slow down!

02:57:33.000 No, and I mean, they try people after they're dead.

02:57:36.000 They've had, I feel like, is that a thing?

02:57:38.000 They did something on TV recently, I'm trying to find.

02:57:40.000 Just so the legal system can say, like, we also are on the side that he did.

02:57:44.000 Right, right, right.

02:57:44.000 Hmm.

02:57:46.000 We got a show tonight?

02:57:47.000 No chance.

02:57:48.000 No chance.

02:57:49.000 No chance.

02:57:51.000 What are you saying? 1.00

02:57:52.000 I'm getting on a flight back to fucking New York right now. 0.99

02:57:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:57:55.000 I'm like you when we did Molly, dude.

02:57:57.000 I'm going home.

02:57:58.000 I'm going home.

02:57:59.000 I'm going home.

02:58:00.000 We have hours.

02:58:01.000 You're going to have the best set of your life.

02:58:02.000 I'm definitely not going on stage tonight.

02:58:04.000 In about four hours.

02:58:05.000 Let's go to dinner.

02:58:06.000 Let's live it up like kings.

02:58:07.000 I'm so hungry.

02:58:08.000 I got to eat.

02:58:09.000 Let's do that, too.

02:58:10.000 I had about nine bars out of a vending machine.

02:58:12.000 I couldn't eat a thing right now.

02:58:13.000 You're going to have an appetite for real? 1.00

02:58:15.000 I got to eat pussy. 1.00

02:58:18.000 Jesus. 1.00

02:58:18.000 The way you said it was threatening. 1.00

02:58:21.000 How are you doing?

02:58:22.000 Show me your ways.

02:58:25.000 I'm not good at it.

02:58:26.000 I've gotten the tap a few times.

02:58:28.000 I got pissed too.

02:58:29.000 Finally I have to piss.

02:58:30.000 I'll be right back. 0.99

02:58:31.000 Damn it, I needed ten more minutes I could outlast you. 0.99

02:58:35.000 Six minutes. 1.00

02:58:38.000 Oh, get out of here. 1.00

02:58:39.000 Let's bomb beers.

02:58:41.000 I don't want to be competitive.

02:58:43.000 That's the three hour mark.

02:58:44.000 We're at three hours?

02:58:45.000 Oh, alright.

02:58:45.000 This is the cruising zone.

02:58:47.000 Holy shit, dude. 1.00

02:58:48.000 What a fucking podcast. 1.00

02:58:50.000 I don't know if it's good or bad. 1.00

02:58:51.000 Up, down, left, right. 0.93

02:58:53.000 Gay, straight. 0.99

02:58:55.000 But I'm having a blast.

02:58:57.000 I'll be honest, man.

02:58:59.000 It's a very intense thing to be very high on mushrooms.

02:59:02.000 On the biggest platform in America? 1.00

02:59:05.000 You just listen to the dumb fucking conversation. 1.00

02:59:08.000 You're like, what? 1.00

02:59:09.000 Yeah, I was fighting through that crypto thing.

02:59:10.000 That crypto thing.

02:59:11.000 I almost took a nap.

02:59:13.000 You know what I mean, Jamie? 0.95

02:59:14.000 You go, what the heck? 0.97

02:59:15.000 What the heck? 0.98

02:59:16.000 Jamie, don't you sit around sometimes? 0.97

02:59:18.000 Yeah, that's what I do.

02:59:20.000 Jamie, what do you want to talk about, dude?

02:59:22.000 Nobody ever asked Jamie.

02:59:23.000 No, we're good.

02:59:24.000 That's true.

02:59:24.000 You don't want to know about that.

02:59:25.000 He's a quiet little guy.

02:59:28.000 He's not little, dude. 1.00

02:59:29.000 Jamie's a psycho. 0.99

02:59:33.000 I take it all back. 1.00

02:59:34.000 Jamie's a monster. 0.99

02:59:35.000 He got more guns than Rogan. 0.99

02:59:38.000 Jamie, let's do this.

02:59:41.000 You get to bring it up, dude.

02:59:43.000 What's Jamie bringing up?

02:59:44.000 Have you done an ep?

02:59:46.000 In the hot seat?

02:59:46.000 No, not over there.

02:59:47.000 They need you on the ones and twos.

02:59:49.000 Yeah, I've been on a show, though.

02:59:51.000 Sure.

02:59:51.000 Oh, okay.

02:59:52.000 I'm on all of them, but...

02:59:53.000 Yeah, there's been a couple where I've been involved more.

02:59:56.000 Oh, that's fun.

02:59:57.000 Without a guest.

02:59:58.000 But you're so mysterious.

02:59:59.000 The man behind the curtain.

03:00:01.000 Well, let's keep it that way.

03:00:03.000 Oh! 0.60

03:00:04.000 That's pretty good.

03:00:04.000 I don't have a camera on me right now, so I can't put it on me.

03:00:06.000 I'm just pushing between you two. 1.00

03:00:08.000 Oh, we look like fucking dumbasses. 1.00

03:00:11.000 Uh-oh, what happened in the bathroom with Ari? 1.00

03:00:14.000 Yes, it's not great in there.

03:00:16.000 And Ari is in the bathroom peeing and his dog is this far from the door and doesn't move.

03:00:23.000 The dog just sits there with her nose through the door and doesn't move.

03:00:31.000 That's the kind of love that you get from a rescue dog.

03:00:35.000 That's not a dog that was raised with love as a puppy.

03:00:38.000 That's a dog that's experienced neglect.

03:00:40.000 It's sad again.

03:00:41.000 It's dark again.

03:00:42.000 It's not dark.

03:00:42.000 Yeah, it's a nice thing.

03:00:43.000 The dog loves them. 0.99

03:00:44.000 The dog loves the shit out of them. 0.99

03:00:45.000 But that kind of love, you get that love.

03:00:47.000 It's a different kind of love that you get from dogs that have experienced bad times.

03:00:50.000 My wife was a rescue. 1.00

03:00:53.000 She waits by the door.

03:00:54.000 It's beautiful.

03:00:57.000 Yeah, she's a nice lady. 1.00

03:00:59.000 Hell of a bitch. 0.99

03:01:01.000 I like that picture of the two of you guys in that 2002, that old-school BMW that you have. 1.00

03:01:06.000 Oh, that's a killer car.

03:01:07.000 That thing runs like a top! 0.95

03:01:09.000 They're great cars, man.

03:01:10.000 They're so well-engineered.

03:01:11.000 You know that car saved BMW? They were going under, and that car brought them out of it.

03:01:15.000 Really?

03:01:16.000 Yeah.

03:01:16.000 Is it a manual?

03:01:17.000 Oh, yeah.

03:01:18.000 Four-speed! 0.92

03:01:19.000 It's a little go-kart.

03:01:21.000 It weighs like eight pounds.

03:01:22.000 Yeah, it's probably pretty good to handle, too, right?

03:01:26.000 It handles great.

03:01:26.000 It's really fun to drive.

03:01:28.000 And those cars will fucking run forever, too. 0.99

03:01:31.000 Oh, yeah. 0.98

03:01:32.000 Oh, yeah.

03:01:32.000 I took it to the shop just to make sure, and they're like, it's perfect.

03:01:35.000 Are you going to spend some of that sweet, sweet YouTube money on a nice car?

03:01:38.000 I think you need one, son.

03:01:40.000 Yeah, well, that money could buy maybe a nice 60. I think you need one.

03:01:42.000 I've been trying to talk you into a BMW for years.

03:01:45.000 You probably got like an 89 Jetta with that money.

03:01:47.000 You need a nice, like, maybe a Civic.

03:01:50.000 A BMW M3. It's a four-door.

03:01:54.000 Ari Shafir.

03:01:56.000 E30's nice, too.

03:01:56.000 It's a very sophisticated car.

03:01:59.000 It's very calm.

03:01:59.000 I used to doodle BMW Insignias when I was in high school.

03:02:03.000 You should get one.

03:02:03.000 Was it the ovens?

03:02:04.000 Really?

03:02:05.000 You should get one.

03:02:06.000 That's what you're drunk?

03:02:06.000 Get an M4. Get the coupe since you're high society.

03:02:12.000 That's the M3. Damn, that's so sporty. 0.99

03:02:15.000 I just don't want to go through the trouble of buying it. 0.99

03:02:17.000 I don't want to spend like three days buying a car.

03:02:20.000 It's a lot of research.

03:02:22.000 Look how good that thing looks.

03:02:23.000 Turn around and look at that.

03:02:26.000 Shane Gills.

03:02:27.000 That's an ugly color with that weird look.

03:02:29.000 That's just a weird wrap. 1.00

03:02:30.000 You want me driving that fucking thing? 0.99

03:02:32.000 That car is amazing. 1.00

03:02:33.000 You seem like an SUV guy.

03:02:38.000 You see that one, that little silver one?

03:02:40.000 Look at that Chevy Cruze, Jamie.

03:02:43.000 That's an E46. That's nice.

03:02:45.000 I have an E46. Really?

03:02:47.000 Yeah.

03:02:47.000 Those are great cars.

03:02:48.000 Great car. 1.00

03:02:49.000 That is a fast fucking car. 1.00

03:02:50.000 Now bring up one that looks like it's been in an accident. 1.00

03:02:52.000 It's so well balanced.

03:02:55.000 The one that looks like it's been in an accident?

03:02:56.000 Yeah, a New York version of the same car.

03:02:59.000 Oh yeah, I guess.

03:03:00.000 They're getting ugly with these big openings.

03:03:02.000 They have bumper protectors on everything. 0.90

03:03:04.000 That's so ridiculous, those things.

03:03:06.000 The grill is too big. 0.98

03:03:07.000 But that's what you need, Ari.

03:03:08.000 That's what I need.

03:03:09.000 I'll get it.

03:03:10.000 You don't need an E46. You don't need that shit. 1.00

03:03:13.000 You need to get a horse. 1.00

03:03:14.000 I'll drive a horse around New York.

03:03:16.000 That'd be great.

03:03:18.000 You don't even need the M3. Is it a milk bucket?

03:03:21.000 He's more of a Rickshaw guy.

03:03:24.000 Give yourself a nice 3 Series.

03:03:26.000 Chevy Cruze.

03:03:27.000 Now we're talking.

03:03:28.000 Now we're talking.

03:03:30.000 Got some groceries in the back.

03:03:33.000 Look at that.

03:03:33.000 That thing's got some whip in it.

03:03:35.000 Backdoor latches.

03:03:35.000 They blurred it because it's going so fast.

03:03:37.000 That's how they took the picture. 0.99

03:03:39.000 That's an ugly ass orange. 1.00

03:03:41.000 That's a fucking good car, Chevy. 1.00

03:03:43.000 Overhead lights are going off automatically? 0.99

03:03:45.000 What's the car that brings the least amount of excitement when you see it?

03:03:49.000 Probably a black 2018 Chevy Cruze.

03:03:52.000 That blue color, oh my god.

03:03:54.000 Wait a minute.

03:03:55.000 I'll be honest, I love that black car.

03:03:57.000 That's a good rental.

03:03:58.000 You get a rental car, you want that.

03:03:59.000 I gave it to my sister, now she drives it and I'm jealous. 0.98

03:04:02.000 Look at him trying to doll it up.

03:04:04.000 I want it back.

03:04:06.000 I want it back.

03:04:07.000 I want it back!

03:04:08.000 What, you got a canvas interior stock, AM, FM? Okay, but go to a Prius.

03:04:12.000 Go to a Prius.

03:04:14.000 Let's see what a Prius looks like. 0.91

03:04:16.000 Prius is ugly.

03:04:17.000 Is that the least joyful car? 0.97

03:04:20.000 They're trying to sex it up, but it's not going to happen.

03:04:24.000 That gold one's pretty sexy. 0.87

03:04:25.000 Well, Tesla came in and jizzed right in their face. 1.00

03:04:27.000 Is that what a Prius looks like now?

03:04:29.000 They're trying.

03:04:30.000 Okay, that looks pretty good.

03:04:31.000 Big rims.

03:04:31.000 That's a lot better looking than the old ones.

03:04:34.000 Look at that S. Look at that one, getting from the top, that gold one, right there, the next one.

03:04:38.000 Yeah, that one.

03:04:38.000 So you can see it from the top.

03:04:40.000 And this was starving Elon Musk?

03:04:41.000 Bro, that's a Prius now?

03:04:44.000 That's a good-looking car.

03:04:45.000 I disagree. 0.80

03:04:46.000 No, it's disgusting. 0.98

03:04:46.000 Don't you feel silly driving that, though? 0.98

03:04:47.000 You feel silly. 0.97

03:04:48.000 You feel silly with that? 0.95

03:04:50.000 Yeah. 0.62

03:04:50.000 Why? 0.62

03:04:50.000 The fucking Kill Bill gets out of that car. 0.62

03:04:53.000 You're driving that, you dress like a moron, going to get groceries? 1.00

03:04:55.000 That's a cool-looking little car. 1.00

03:04:56.000 You guys are out of your mind.

03:04:58.000 It's too much for normal use. 1.00

03:04:59.000 It's a fucking Toyota. 0.99

03:05:01.000 It's too much what for normal use? 1.00

03:05:02.000 What does that mean? 0.69

03:05:02.000 Sex. 0.69

03:05:03.000 Too much sex for normal use. 0.99

03:05:04.000 You guys talk about sex. 0.97

03:05:06.000 You think it's sexy? 0.73

03:05:08.000 I think that's a good looking little car.

03:05:10.000 I don't know. 0.99

03:05:11.000 The old ones used to look like shit. 0.99

03:05:12.000 Volkswagen Rabbit. 0.99

03:05:14.000 Whenever Greg Fitzsimmons would show up in his Prius, I'd be like, Gregory...

03:05:17.000 Yeah, that's that old.

03:05:18.000 I need a mustache.

03:05:18.000 That's it.

03:05:19.000 That's the old one.

03:05:20.000 Larry David car. 0.90

03:05:21.000 That one's ridiculous. 1.00

03:05:21.000 That does suck. 1.00

03:05:22.000 That's just like, you don't give a fuck what it looks like. 1.00

03:05:25.000 You're sensible. 0.99

03:05:25.000 We're just getting there. 0.99

03:05:26.000 Just get there.

03:05:27.000 Your life's not filled with joy.

03:05:30.000 Your life is boring.

03:05:31.000 The sound's going off.

03:05:32.000 We're at a stoplight.

03:05:33.000 It went off completely.

03:05:34.000 Oh, cool.

03:05:35.000 Oh, yeah.

03:05:36.000 I remember that.

03:05:37.000 It was a big deal.

03:05:39.000 Yeah.

03:05:40.000 Now everybody's engine shuts off at every stoplight.

03:05:43.000 Like, what?

03:05:44.000 Isn't that weird that it starts back up?

03:05:45.000 Yeah.

03:05:46.000 Or you just press that button.

03:05:49.000 Override?

03:05:49.000 Yeah.

03:05:50.000 Burn the fuel.

03:05:51.000 I like a real yank.

03:05:52.000 A yanker.

03:05:54.000 Vroom, vroom.

03:05:55.000 You're driving like an ancient car.

03:05:58.000 Ancient.

03:05:58.000 It's 50 years old.

03:05:59.000 Bavaria?

03:06:00.000 No, no.

03:06:00.000 2002. 2002, yeah.

03:06:01.000 And it's tiny.

03:06:03.000 The person is next to you.

03:06:04.000 It's weird.

03:06:05.000 Yeah, but it's probably a lot of fun.

03:06:07.000 It's a hell of a time.

03:06:08.000 That's your daily driver?

03:06:09.000 You driving that around?

03:06:10.000 I drive to gigs in Jersey and D.C. or, you know, upstate.

03:06:14.000 Once a month.

03:06:15.000 Once a month.

03:06:16.000 Like a menstrual. 0.98

03:06:17.000 Never fucks up on you? 0.99

03:06:18.000 Not once.

03:06:19.000 You got a good guy that fixes it?

03:06:20.000 I got a hell of a guy.

03:06:21.000 That's important.

03:06:22.000 Yeah, he's in Jersey.

03:06:23.000 There she blows. 1.00

03:06:24.000 Look at the interior.

03:06:26.000 Look at that radio.

03:06:27.000 That's a stock radio.

03:06:28.000 Look at the thing jiggling.

03:06:31.000 Dude, that is so sweet.

03:06:34.000 Who helped design the car?

03:06:35.000 What do you mean design it?

03:06:36.000 Or help work on the car?

03:06:38.000 Oh, I wish I could think of it as Hitler. 0.99

03:06:40.000 Is there a video of you driving this thing?

03:06:42.000 If you go further down, are you driving it?

03:06:44.000 Look at that good-looking car, man. 0.83

03:06:46.000 Look at how disgusting this city is.

03:06:48.000 I mean, where exactly do you park it?

03:06:49.000 A beautiful car.

03:06:50.000 It's so gross everywhere. 0.98

03:06:52.000 I park in a garage and they're raping me. 0.98

03:06:54.000 Oh, look at that old watch! 0.94

03:06:56.000 You're actually listening to the radio?

03:07:00.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:07:00.000 Dude, you are fucked up. 1.00

03:07:03.000 This is crazy. 1.00

03:07:04.000 You listen to the radio.

03:07:05.000 That's so fun to drive. 1.00

03:07:06.000 He's listening to AM radio because that's the only option on that fucking thing. 0.99

03:07:11.000 Look at the round tail lights. 0.99

03:07:14.000 Can't even afford a license plate.

03:07:16.000 Oh, you can see it's leaning a little bit.

03:07:19.000 Boys, if we were born 20 years earlier, we'd be on AM radio.

03:07:23.000 But isn't it crazy?

03:07:23.000 Old ladies drove those to work.

03:07:25.000 Like, you had to just shift it up.

03:07:28.000 Yeah.

03:07:29.000 Crazy.

03:07:29.000 Yeah.

03:07:30.000 Well, if you go to other countries, they still do it.

03:07:32.000 In Italy, everybody still drives their manual. 0.85

03:07:34.000 But also, there's no crumpled zone on that cum guzzling. 1.00

03:07:36.000 You're done. 0.98

03:07:37.000 No, no, no, no.

03:07:37.000 You're doing an accident.

03:07:39.000 You get hit.

03:07:40.000 It's over.

03:07:41.000 There's not a lot there.

03:07:43.000 No, you're done.

03:07:44.000 No airbag.

03:07:45.000 Yeah, not a lot there.

03:07:47.000 Those old cars are interesting.

03:07:48.000 You ever had an airbag hit you?

03:07:50.000 No. 0.99

03:07:50.000 It sucks. 0.99

03:07:52.000 It's not fun. 0.99

03:07:53.000 You get covered in powder.

03:07:54.000 Really?

03:07:55.000 I was in a car that flipped in high school and we landed in a ditch and the airbag popped.

03:08:00.000 You hit your head pretty bad?

03:08:02.000 Yeah, we were upside down.

03:08:04.000 What?

03:08:05.000 I undid the buckle.

03:08:06.000 I fell.

03:08:07.000 I dropped.

03:08:08.000 I hit the ceiling.

03:08:08.000 What were you like before that?

03:08:10.000 Was that when you thought you were funny?

03:08:12.000 I was a preacher.

03:08:13.000 Something happened.

03:08:14.000 Ow! 1.00

03:08:15.000 Something happened, dude.

03:08:17.000 Oh, yeah.

03:08:17.000 We were tubing.

03:08:18.000 This is Louisiana shit. 1.00

03:08:20.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

03:08:21.000 I didn't know how to write a joke before.

03:08:23.000 Bro, how many comics became comics after head injuries?

03:08:27.000 Two that I know.

03:08:29.000 Roseanne and Kinison.

03:08:31.000 Yeah, those are big ones.

03:08:32.000 Maybe you too, hun.

03:08:33.000 Maybe.

03:08:34.000 Maybe you too.

03:08:36.000 Good band.

03:08:37.000 Maybe Shane?

03:08:37.000 How many times have you played football?

03:08:40.000 I came out dumb as hell. 0.99

03:08:42.000 That's a tour of the CTE tour. 1.00

03:08:46.000 Oh yeah, you went to a good college.

03:08:47.000 I used to be smart.

03:08:49.000 Well, you know your history.

03:08:50.000 I know some stuff. 0.99

03:08:51.000 You know the Crusades, like the back of your anal. 0.99

03:08:54.000 Don't get me going on the Crusades. 0.99

03:08:55.000 I love the Crusades.

03:08:56.000 I watched a YouTube video on it. 1.00

03:08:58.000 It's fucking fascinating shit. 1.00

03:09:00.000 Crusades is funny. 1.00

03:09:00.000 Your bit about the dudes who like history is fucking hilarious. 1.00

03:09:03.000 Yeah, you're just going to be... 0.96

03:09:04.000 I love that bit.

03:09:05.000 You're going to be Republican.

03:09:08.000 Yeah.

03:09:09.000 It's right.

03:09:10.000 If you go over a guy's house, he's got a book on Thomas Jefferson on his front shelf.

03:09:14.000 That's so true.

03:09:15.000 Like, oh, this guy's voting red.

03:09:16.000 I love your werewolf bit, too.

03:09:19.000 I don't even do it anymore.

03:09:20.000 I've been quoting that all over town.

03:09:22.000 Yeah, I've got to do it.

03:09:23.000 That's a great bit about how becoming a Republican is turning into a werewolf. 0.98

03:09:27.000 You're like, there's so many black people in these commercials! 0.96

03:09:30.000 I still do that one.

03:09:31.000 Yeah, that's a great bit.

03:09:34.000 It's funny.

03:09:35.000 I went home for Thanksgiving.

03:09:37.000 I got to watch my dad watch TV. It's been so long since I saw an old man watching TV. It's great. 0.98

03:09:43.000 What was that like?

03:09:45.000 Old guys have to watch commercials all day. 1.00

03:09:49.000 That's who the commercials are for.

03:09:50.000 They're just drilling old guys that are stuck on a couch. 1.00

03:09:53.000 They're like, what the fuck is this? 1.00

03:09:56.000 They're buying coins. 1.00

03:09:58.000 Two guys making out and they're like, buy fucking insurance. 1.00

03:10:03.000 How wild is that? 0.99

03:10:05.000 A lot of coins, a lot of plates, commemorative plates are still going.

03:10:09.000 It's crazy watching commercials now.

03:10:10.000 Yeah, I get to see the Fox News commercials are the best. 1.00

03:10:13.000 Fuck, Mike Lindell. 1.00

03:10:16.000 I'm Mike Lindell. 1.00

03:10:18.000 Are you the victim of a conspiracy?

03:10:20.000 Behind him is a picture of Jesus and a lion.

03:10:24.000 He's selling pillows! 1.00

03:10:26.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

03:10:29.000 He lost his marriage over that pillow. 1.00

03:10:31.000 He made it in the basement, and the wife was like, come up! 1.00

03:10:33.000 He's like, fuck you, cut. 1.00

03:10:35.000 Wow, is that a quote? 1.00

03:10:37.000 Yeah, yeah, it's on the pillow.

03:10:39.000 Wow, what a dude.

03:10:41.000 A lion!

03:10:41.000 I thought you were joking!

03:10:43.000 Jesus and the lion. 1.00

03:10:44.000 This is the fucking dick. 1.00

03:10:45.000 And then an eagle and a folded flag all together in that picture. 1.00

03:10:48.000 He's got the last supper in the back.

03:10:50.000 He's got the cross pin.

03:10:51.000 Bro, and I think that might be green screen, too.

03:10:54.000 No.

03:10:55.000 It might be, dude.

03:10:56.000 That's his office. 0.99

03:10:57.000 Can we get a terrifying fucking room that is? 1.00

03:11:00.000 Imagine a black guy walking in that room, you'd be like, I gotta get out of here. 1.00

03:11:05.000 It's not green screen, it's weird lighting.

03:11:07.000 It's a weird camera. 0.97

03:11:07.000 Imagine walking in there, you'd be like, what the fuck's wrong with you, dude? 0.97

03:11:10.000 It's Jesus with a lion. 0.99

03:11:12.000 You would know exactly what you can and can't say to that guy.

03:11:15.000 Oh, yeah.

03:11:16.000 Tell him you're transitioning. 1.00

03:11:17.000 He'll shoot you with a shotgun. 1.00

03:11:21.000 He really would. 1.00

03:11:23.000 What the fuck? 1.00

03:11:26.000 Margaret, unlock the vault. 1.00

03:11:28.000 Yeah, I cut my dick off. 1.00

03:11:29.000 I'm ready to suck that. 1.00

03:11:31.000 He would start turning the thing on the wall. 1.00

03:11:33.000 He'd have a combination on the wall.

03:11:36.000 He'd move a picture out of the way. 0.99

03:11:37.000 You'd have to put a fucking vault on the wall. 0.99

03:11:42.000 There's your next ghillie. 1.00

03:11:44.000 That's so funny, dude.

03:11:46.000 That's what it looks like. 1.00

03:11:47.000 You could just walk in there and be like, yeah, I'm ready to suck some dicks. 1.00

03:11:50.000 He'd be so upset. 1.00

03:11:53.000 He'd push a button, the door would slam with a metal gate, and then you'd be done.

03:12:00.000 Homophobia.

03:12:01.000 It's funny.

03:12:02.000 It's weird how prevalent it is with certain right-wing people.

03:12:08.000 It's weird how prevalent it is.

03:12:10.000 I've had many conversations with people that just don't think that gay people should be allowed to get married.

03:12:15.000 I'm like, are you anti-freedom? 1.00

03:12:18.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

03:12:20.000 They just think they have a stronger hold on their world. 1.00

03:12:23.000 They want to define that it's only between a man and a woman.

03:12:26.000 That's what it means.

03:12:27.000 It's a made-up thing.

03:12:28.000 Jamie brought it up after Matt Walsh had left.

03:12:33.000 He and I had a conversation where, Jamie, you brought up, wasn't Nero married to a man?

03:12:37.000 Yeah, there was a bunch of...

03:12:38.000 All the Greeks. 0.80

03:12:39.000 Or Romans.

03:12:40.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:12:40.000 It goes back to increasing Rome.

03:12:42.000 Same thing.

03:12:43.000 Yeah, I think it said he had two husbands or boyfriends or something like that, Nero.

03:12:47.000 Yeah, why not?

03:12:48.000 More pleasure.

03:12:49.000 Well, there's a big difference in husbands or boyfriends. 1.00

03:12:51.000 Boyfriends go fuck themselves. 1.00

03:12:53.000 The husbands get a piece of the booty. 1.00

03:12:55.000 I mean, by that, I mean loot.

03:12:58.000 Pirates booty.

03:12:59.000 Not like booty booty.

03:13:03.000 That was an accident.

03:13:05.000 I wonder if that's where booty comes from. 1.00

03:13:07.000 Yeah, maybe.

03:13:08.000 Like the booty hole.

03:13:09.000 No.

03:13:10.000 Maybe.

03:13:10.000 Hey, we got seizure.

03:13:13.000 Shave!

03:13:15.000 Shave, get this, ladies and gentlemen.

03:13:17.000 This is too much.

03:13:18.000 The perfect amount.

03:13:19.000 Here it is. 0.99

03:13:21.000 Roman homosexuality was not expressed with romantic love, but with riotous orgies. 1.00

03:13:26.000 It's often linked to notorious Emperor Nero, a hedonistic ruler who married both women and men. 0.90

03:13:33.000 A man who is believed to have enjoyed penetrating as much as he enjoyed being penetrated by his well-endowed husband.

03:13:40.000 Romo! 0.81

03:13:42.000 He just went after it.

03:13:43.000 Nero just went after it.

03:13:44.000 Good for him.

03:13:46.000 Live it up.

03:13:47.000 Enjoy your life.

03:13:48.000 Also, that was...

03:13:51.000 At that time in the world, that was way more common.

03:13:53.000 So why do you think that is?

03:13:55.000 I could be wrong, but with Nero, I think that a lot of it could be...

03:13:58.000 Like, historians have looked back at him and been like, maybe that was political, like, smearing.

03:14:03.000 Like, all the rumors we have about him, that he was nuts and he did all this, it's just... 0.53

03:14:07.000 Oh, really?

03:14:07.000 Later populations.

03:14:09.000 Yeah, he was a fucking gay guy, he fucked a bunch. 1.00

03:14:11.000 Interesting. 1.00

03:14:12.000 It's just the enemy's propaganda survived. 1.00

03:14:14.000 But there are paintings of some real gay shit. 1.00

03:14:17.000 This is... 1.00

03:14:17.000 That's what I'm saying. 1.00

03:14:18.000 From back in the day.

03:14:20.000 I mean, for lack of a better technical term.

03:14:22.000 Yes, yes. 1.00

03:14:24.000 Paintings of some gay shit. 1.00

03:14:28.000 I sound like a black car. 1.00

03:14:33.000 Yeah, no, it's always existed.

03:14:35.000 It's existed, like, someone sent me something that exists in, like, more than a hundred different animals, isn't it?

03:14:42.000 But we're the only...

03:14:43.000 I just saw a video of some kid talking about it.

03:14:44.000 He said 1,500 in that video. 0.96

03:14:46.000 1,500 different animals are homosexual. 0.95

03:14:49.000 And none are homophobic, except us. 1.00

03:14:51.000 I knew your dog was gay, dude. 1.00

03:14:54.000 That dog's a girl, bro. 1.00

03:14:56.000 They can be gay. 1.00

03:14:57.000 He's a butt bandit. 1.00

03:14:58.000 He's a butt bandit. 1.00

03:15:00.000 Maybe. 0.99

03:15:01.000 I don't care.

03:15:01.000 I'll embrace him.

03:15:03.000 Aw, you're a sweetie.

03:15:04.000 Yeah, there you go. 1.00

03:15:06.000 You can't come to the house anymore to even embrace my gay dog. 1.00

03:15:09.000 Dogs lick their own butthole. 1.00

03:15:10.000 They lick their own balls. 1.00

03:15:11.000 Your dog waits outside the door to the bathroom like only a rescue dog ever would. 1.00

03:15:17.000 She was born into captivity.

03:15:21.000 Her mom was rescued when she was pregnant.

03:15:23.000 Ah, skips a generation.

03:15:25.000 Her mom was rescued when she was pregnant.

03:15:28.000 Yeah, so she never had any trauma.

03:15:29.000 So it's not a rescue?

03:15:30.000 No, so it's not?

03:15:31.000 That's not a rescue?

03:15:32.000 It's from a rescue, but it was born into a rescue.

03:15:35.000 Well, when did you get her?

03:15:36.000 How old was she when you got her? 1.00

03:15:37.000 A month.

03:15:38.000 A month.

03:15:39.000 Yeah, maybe two.

03:15:40.000 So she was in this rescue shelter for a month?

03:15:42.000 Yeah.

03:15:43.000 That alone.

03:15:44.000 Maybe.

03:15:45.000 Yeah.

03:15:45.000 No, for sure.

03:15:46.000 No, they were great.

03:15:46.000 They loved her.

03:15:47.000 I'm sure they're great.

03:15:48.000 I'm sure they're great.

03:15:49.000 Yeah, we met the whole litter.

03:15:50.000 They were all having such a blast, man, in some lady's apartment.

03:15:53.000 It was a big apartment.

03:15:55.000 They're probably too young to know that.

03:15:55.000 Oh, it's an apartment.

03:15:56.000 Yeah.

03:15:57.000 It was a good time there at that shelter.

03:15:59.000 They were having a blast.

03:16:00.000 I have not given her the same life.

03:16:01.000 That's good.

03:16:02.000 Well, the dog just loves you then.

03:16:04.000 That dog just sits outside.

03:16:06.000 I had it in my head.

03:16:07.000 I had a narrative all made up.

03:16:08.000 Wrong.

03:16:09.000 Because it was a rescue dog.

03:16:10.000 You probably got it when it was three months old.

03:16:12.000 It's the best, dude.

03:16:13.000 You come out.

03:16:14.000 I've been in here for two hours.

03:16:15.000 And she's like, what's up?

03:16:17.000 And you're like, yes!

03:16:19.000 Oh, yeah.

03:16:20.000 How old is she? 0.98

03:16:22.000 Three.

03:16:23.000 Just over three.

03:16:23.000 And you've had her since she was...

03:16:25.000 Three years old.

03:16:25.000 So late August to late November.

03:16:29.000 So was she like six weeks old or something, like right after?

03:16:32.000 Yeah.

03:16:32.000 Right when you could take the puppy?

03:16:35.000 That's the best.

03:16:36.000 Yeah.

03:16:36.000 Good for you.

03:16:37.000 You're happy.

03:16:38.000 You got a special. 1.00

03:16:39.000 You're ugly. 0.99

03:16:40.000 I mean, you're doing great. 0.99

03:16:41.000 I'm just saying, you know, I had to throw something in there.

03:16:44.000 But I'm glad to see you happy.

03:16:46.000 I'm all shroomed up.

03:16:49.000 That dog is the best.

03:16:50.000 I'm feeling the love!

03:16:51.000 That dog loves you, man.

03:16:52.000 It is a lot of love.

03:16:53.000 I'll be honest, guys. 0.97

03:16:55.000 I fucking love you guys. 0.97

03:16:55.000 Jamie, I could do without you. 0.97

03:16:59.000 Deleted.

03:17:03.000 I accidentally deleted everything.

03:17:05.000 Jamie, do you remember when Michigan played Ohio State?

03:17:07.000 Alright, that's a little blow.

03:17:08.000 Bring that up. 1.00

03:17:10.000 Don't bring up Notre Dame, Ohio State, you fucking jerk. 1.00

03:17:13.000 I find it hilarious when dudes get very hurt about a team where they don't even live in that place anymore. 1.00

03:17:20.000 Mmm. 0.79

03:17:21.000 I fucking love it, dude. 0.98

03:17:22.000 It gives you hope. 0.96

03:17:23.000 I think it's fun.

03:17:24.000 Something to root for.

03:17:26.000 Is that the one you brought up?

03:17:27.000 Does that hurt?

03:17:27.000 How was that, that?

03:17:29.000 Oh, really?

03:17:30.000 What'd you say?

03:17:31.000 Did you waste your time?

03:17:32.000 The cuckas.

03:17:32.000 I had a great time.

03:17:33.000 All right.

03:17:34.000 Ohio State means class, dude. 0.99

03:17:36.000 Bunch of class acts in fucking Columbus, Ohio. 0.99

03:17:39.000 That's a good city. 1.00

03:17:40.000 All roads leave to Columbus.

03:17:42.000 Really?

03:17:43.000 Yeah, family ties.

03:17:44.000 Columbus, Ohio.

03:17:45.000 Oh.

03:17:47.000 You're showing your age there.

03:17:50.000 What do they have there?

03:17:52.000 It's not a punchline.

03:17:55.000 The best funny bone is in Columbus.

03:17:57.000 That's a great funny bone.

03:17:58.000 It's the flagship.

03:17:59.000 That's a great funny bone.

03:17:59.000 God hates flags.

03:18:01.000 Have you ever seen the All Roads Lead to Rome?

03:18:04.000 Keep it in.

03:18:05.000 Keep it in.

03:18:06.000 What?

03:18:06.000 Like All Roads Lead to Rome.

03:18:07.000 I don't know how exaggerated this is.

03:18:09.000 Oh my god.

03:18:09.000 What?

03:18:10.000 Is this real?

03:18:11.000 I've seen this going around.

03:18:13.000 It could be exaggerated.

03:18:14.000 Every road?

03:18:15.000 Darkened some lines and whatnot, you know?

03:18:17.000 Looks like my ex-wife's legs. 1.00

03:18:23.000 If that's really how the Romans traveled...

03:18:31.000 Is that really how they travel?

03:18:32.000 I think that's sort of like how they travel and then those now have turned into modern-day roads and highways and whatever.

03:18:37.000 Jesus Christ.

03:18:38.000 That's awesome.

03:18:39.000 It looks like arteries.

03:18:40.000 Do you think that pattern just exists with everything?

03:18:43.000 It exists with blood.

03:18:44.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

03:18:46.000 Whoa! 0.71

03:18:47.000 Kooky.

03:18:47.000 Yeah, I feel like this picture is exaggerated.

03:18:48.000 That's just how you draw. 0.99

03:18:49.000 You can do all roads with the fucking Viet, Czech Republic if you wanted. 1.00

03:18:52.000 I think they exaggerated this a lot because they darkened the middle lines and they looked like veins of a leaf. 0.99

03:18:56.000 Mm-hmm.

03:18:57.000 The same with Boston.

03:18:58.000 It all comes back to Boston.

03:19:00.000 It's all these outside stuff, Worcester and Reaching.

03:19:06.000 What?

03:19:07.000 Jack Reacher.

03:19:10.000 No, he pulled it on you.

03:19:12.000 Reacher Lawson.

03:19:14.000 I asked the guy, why are the Boston comics, so it's like Patrice and Louie and Stano, but all these guys, Dane Cook, Gary Goldman, just keep going.

03:19:21.000 Rogan, it's just so many Boston guys.

03:19:24.000 And he said, well, it's because of the outside towns.

03:19:26.000 Like, we act like it's Boston, but it's all the outside.

03:19:28.000 But I'm like, still, that's insane.

03:19:30.000 It's all Massachusetts?

03:19:31.000 It's a lot.

03:19:31.000 Well, that's enough people to provide humans.

03:19:33.000 That's still pretty good for one.

03:19:34.000 The reason why it got so good is because there was a core guys of really funny guys in the early 80s, and everybody just kind of imitated them. 0.99

03:19:44.000 And that was like Barry Crimmins and Lenny Clark and Don Gavin and those fucking animals. 0.98

03:19:49.000 Sweeney. 1.00

03:19:49.000 Sweeney, yeah. 1.00

03:19:51.000 Mike Donovan.

03:19:52.000 Those guys back in that Chinese restaurant, the Ding Ho, they established There was comedy there.

03:19:57.000 It was a place on the dingo. 0.99

03:19:58.000 Apparently it was the shit, and the guy lost it in a gambling match. 0.99

03:20:03.000 He gambled away all the money, and they had to close the place down. 1.00

03:20:07.000 But the place was the shit. 1.00

03:20:08.000 I missed that era. 1.00

03:20:09.000 But that era produced these comics that were so fucking funny. 0.99

03:20:13.000 And you go to see guys like Don Gavin live, you'd be like, holy shit, I just quit comedy. 0.99

03:20:17.000 That guy was so fucking funny. 0.99

03:20:19.000 Dude, you would see him murder in like the 80s and the 90s. 0.98

03:20:23.000 You'd be like, I should just quit.

03:20:24.000 Like, why am I doing this?

03:20:25.000 Why isn't he famous?

03:20:26.000 I guess he never left.

03:20:27.000 Is he the one in Louie's movie?

03:20:27.000 He never left.

03:20:28.000 In Joe's movie?

03:20:29.000 Yeah.

03:20:29.000 Oh, yeah.

03:20:31.000 I met him.

03:20:31.000 He's nice.

03:20:32.000 He's a great guy.

03:20:33.000 Louie's bag.

03:20:34.000 He just never left.

03:20:35.000 There's a lot of those guys that just never left.

03:20:36.000 Never left.

03:20:37.000 Never left.

03:20:37.000 And it was pre-YouTube.

03:20:39.000 It was pre-YouTube.

03:20:40.000 They couldn't get specials.

03:20:41.000 And, you know, in town, they were the funniest people you'd ever seen in your life.

03:20:46.000 They were so good.

03:20:48.000 How would you leave?

03:20:48.000 And they made a great living in Boston.

03:20:51.000 And they shattered the whole nebbishy thing, these like Woody Allen kind of a Jewy, like, oh, we're all awkward and uncomfortable. 1.00

03:20:59.000 And they're like, no, no, we're doing blow and fucking hookers. 1.00

03:21:01.000 These guys were all six foot two, punching each other, doing coke. 1.00

03:21:05.000 Fighting with the cops.

03:21:06.000 They were wild people, man.

03:21:08.000 They were wild people.

03:21:10.000 That's why I got into comedy.

03:21:12.000 It was a different sort of thing in Boston.

03:21:15.000 And it was because of those guys.

03:21:17.000 These people that started out in the beginning.

03:21:19.000 And then, oddly enough, Stephen Wright.

03:21:21.000 Oh yeah, he's great.

03:21:22.000 He was the outsider there.

03:21:23.000 Steven Wright popped on The Tonight Show, and everybody was like, what is going on in Boston?

03:21:27.000 And then all these other guys were like, when is my turn coming up?

03:21:29.000 There's a great documentary about it, when stand-up stood out.

03:21:31.000 That's right.

03:21:32.000 Yeah, because he was so the opposite of those guys.

03:21:34.000 What?

03:21:34.000 You never saw that?

03:21:35.000 When stand-up stood out.

03:21:37.000 Oh! 0.60

03:21:37.000 You should watch it. 0.60

03:21:38.000 That's a fun one.

03:21:38.000 It's amazing.

03:21:39.000 It's, uh, Franz Alameda did it.

03:21:41.000 He was a comic from Boston, and he made this documentary.

03:21:45.000 Must watch.

03:21:45.000 And it's just all about that era where everybody was, like, scrambling to get on television, and Gold Rush.

03:21:51.000 Yeah, there was a lot of great comedy.

03:21:53.000 That's when they do the whole, how do you want to get paid, white or green?

03:21:56.000 Wow.

03:21:56.000 They said it to me.

03:21:57.000 Really?

03:21:58.000 They said it to me, yeah.

03:21:59.000 You want to get paid in Coke or cash?

03:22:00.000 I'm like, just give me the money.

03:22:01.000 Coke every time.

03:22:02.000 I just want money, man.

03:22:03.000 Yeah, it's just, I can buy Coke.

03:22:06.000 Yeah, but they sold it.

03:22:19.000 Who here has done coke and then gone on stage?

03:22:23.000 Nope.

03:22:23.000 Jamie?

03:22:25.000 No, not before on stage.

03:22:27.000 Joey said it was the worst.

03:22:29.000 It was the worst.

03:22:30.000 Really?

03:22:30.000 Adderall's the worst.

03:22:31.000 I think it's similar.

03:22:33.000 But Coke will wear off in 15 minutes.

03:22:35.000 Then you're on stage on a comedown.

03:22:38.000 I don't think that's what Joey was saying.

03:22:40.000 Joey was saying that there's no love, Joe Rogan.

03:22:43.000 There's no connection with those people. 1.00

03:22:45.000 You're just a coked-up maniac. 0.98

03:22:48.000 You're not making any connections with those people. 0.98

03:22:50.000 Yeah, but what about Robin Williams?

03:22:52.000 It was all coked up.

03:22:54.000 And Pryor, apparently.

03:22:55.000 Good point, good point.

03:22:55.000 Yeah, but...

03:22:57.000 They were a good point.

03:22:58.000 We gotta ask him for that.

03:22:59.000 I don't think Pryor was getting coked up before he was performing, like when he did Live at the time of this trip.

03:23:04.000 He was ready.

03:23:05.000 He was on coke.

03:23:05.000 He had a party waiting for him when he got off.

03:23:07.000 He ready.

03:23:08.000 Robin Williams, though, was on stage on it, for sure.

03:23:11.000 Oh, yeah.

03:23:12.000 You think Tennyson was?

03:23:14.000 Yeah, I think so.

03:23:14.000 Later, maybe.

03:23:15.000 Maybe later, that's why he got back.

03:23:16.000 Is that what we just saw?

03:23:17.000 Yeah, he was yacked up.

03:23:19.000 You think so?

03:23:20.000 To have that confidence?

03:23:21.000 He seemed calm. 0.99

03:23:23.000 I think that was just him murdering at the Comedy Store every fucking night for years. 0.99

03:23:26.000 He seemed calm. 0.99

03:23:27.000 The guy told him before, and he's like, dude, we're gonna let you go.

03:23:30.000 That's huge.

03:23:31.000 Just be yourself here.

03:23:32.000 That's huge.

03:23:33.000 Yeah, before Seth's Wild.

03:23:34.000 He took all those great bits and took the cuss words out and they were still great.

03:23:37.000 Yeah, true.

03:23:39.000 They were great bits, man.

03:23:40.000 I didn't even realize how many bits he had done on that show. 0.92

03:23:43.000 There was a lot of fucks in that bit. 1.00

03:23:45.000 Oh, yeah. 0.98

03:23:45.000 That he took out. 0.98

03:23:46.000 He took out and still murdered.

03:23:48.000 Look at my face.

03:23:49.000 Ow! 1.00

03:23:51.000 Yeah.

03:23:53.000 But then Letterman years later wouldn't let Hicks do his joke.

03:23:56.000 And so he's like, what happened, man?

03:23:58.000 What happened?

03:23:58.000 He flipped.

03:23:59.000 He cut his whole set, right?

03:24:01.000 Yeah, the Billy Ray Cyrus chunk.

03:24:03.000 Wait, why?

03:24:03.000 They cut his whole set because he had an abortion bit.

03:24:06.000 Abortion.

03:24:06.000 Yeah.

03:24:07.000 And so he was in his hotel.

03:24:09.000 It is amoral.

03:24:11.000 Enjoying a cigar in the bathtub.

03:24:13.000 Yeah.

03:24:14.000 Who was?

03:24:15.000 Bill Hicks, when he found out about it. 0.99

03:24:18.000 So he did his set, did what he wanted to do, the material went great, killed, goes back, makes a bath, lines in there, gets a cigar, lighting a cigar, enjoying ourselves like, fucking we did it, giving himself a little bit of pleasure, and then he finds out. 0.98

03:24:34.000 They're cutting it. 0.98

03:24:34.000 This is the rumor. 0.98

03:24:35.000 Wow.

03:24:35.000 I mean, this is the folklore that that is how it went down.

03:24:39.000 Go with it, though.

03:24:39.000 Let's go with that, because it's a great way.

03:24:41.000 And they were like, nah, your thing, they're still fighting you.

03:24:44.000 I think I read it in an article.

03:24:45.000 Mm-hmm.

03:24:47.000 Wow.

03:24:48.000 Why would they cut it?

03:24:49.000 Because of abortion.

03:24:50.000 Abortion.

03:24:50.000 Because the country at the time was like...

03:24:52.000 Hell yeah, the 90s.

03:24:54.000 That guy always had something to say.

03:24:56.000 Whether you thought it was the funniest thing you've ever heard before or not, that's not... 0.98

03:25:00.000 But he fucking always had something to say. 0.87

03:25:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. 0.98

03:25:05.000 His bits always had something to say.

03:25:07.000 To the point where you would walk away and you're like, what am I doing?

03:25:10.000 How come I don't have anything to say?

03:25:12.000 People would question how they were doing comedy after they'd see them do comedy.

03:25:17.000 A lot of bad copycats.

03:25:18.000 To the point where the punchline in Atlanta, they had a thing in the green room that said, quit being Hicks.

03:25:23.000 Quit trying to be Hicks.

03:25:24.000 Remember that?

03:25:24.000 Exactly.

03:25:25.000 A lot of copies.

03:25:26.000 That's right.

03:25:27.000 So many guys wanted to be profound.

03:25:30.000 They saw this guy. 1.00

03:25:31.000 But it's like, get the fucking jokes in. 1.00

03:25:33.000 Get the fucking jokes in. 1.00

03:25:35.000 You gotta be funny, too. 1.00

03:25:36.000 You can't just be the preacher of Lawson.

03:25:38.000 Yeah.

03:25:39.000 I like preacher.

03:25:41.000 But I'm just saying, people got too important.

03:25:45.000 Too important?

03:25:46.000 Yeah.

03:25:47.000 I tried doing this with this special.

03:25:48.000 I was like, you gotta follow Norman at the style of this thing.

03:25:51.000 These have to be normal jokes that follow everybody.

03:25:54.000 Well, that's why it works so well.

03:25:56.000 But I think back then, there wasn't enough information about where the art form was going.

03:26:02.000 And so, like, people were just trying stuff, and it hadn't been done before.

03:26:06.000 You gotta feel like, Kinnison branches out, never been done before, you have this new guy, and then he comes along with Kinnison.

03:26:12.000 He's in that Outlaws of Comedy.

03:26:14.000 So, Kinnison and Hicks hung out together.

03:26:16.000 That's why they have similar facial features.

03:26:18.000 You see, like, in that bit.

03:26:20.000 It's very similar to the way, uh, when I first saw Kinnison, and then I saw Hicks, I saw Hicks at the Comedy Connection, and I was like, wow, a lot of the sounds he makes are the same kind of sounds.

03:26:29.000 They just hung out a lot.

03:26:30.000 Yeah, they hung out a lot.

03:26:31.000 Oh, yeah.

03:26:32.000 So whoever knows, I don't know who was the originator of it, but Hicks was very original.

03:26:38.000 Oh, yeah.

03:26:39.000 And the way he was writing, man.

03:26:41.000 Like that young man on acid bit.

03:26:43.000 Yeah.

03:26:44.000 What's that one?

03:26:45.000 I don't know that one.

03:26:45.000 You don't know that bit?

03:26:46.000 Uh-uh.

03:26:46.000 Oh my god.

03:26:47.000 Google Bill Hicks, young man on acid. 1.00

03:26:50.000 It's a fucking genius bit. 1.00

03:26:52.000 His clothes are on the banning. 0.98

03:26:54.000 I found the article about him getting banned and being irate.

03:26:57.000 Oh, there you go.

03:26:58.000 It says like, here's the title, Comic Irate.

03:27:01.000 Yeah.

03:27:01.000 Look at these ads.

03:27:02.000 Does it say that he found out while he was in the tub?

03:27:04.000 Too many ads.

03:27:05.000 These ads are up top. 1.00

03:27:06.000 Just ugly women. 1.00

03:27:08.000 The screen's a downer. 1.00

03:27:10.000 He's in his hotel room, yeah.

03:27:11.000 I'm pretty sure he was in the bathtub with a cigar.

03:27:15.000 I said Dave gave him a half of a Vanna cigar during the break.

03:27:18.000 Yeah, that was it.

03:27:18.000 He decided to smoke that cigar in his hotel room.

03:27:21.000 Robert Morton called him up and said that Hicks' six-minute set touched too many hot spots and in order it axed, Hicks said Morton told him.

03:27:30.000 According to Hicks, Morton said he fought tooth and nail to save it.

03:27:35.000 Late show representatives, meanwhile, are saying for the record that the decision was a joint one between the network and the show's producers.

03:27:42.000 It was just that it didn't fit into the show's set of standards, said the late show spokeswoman Rosemary Keenan.

03:27:50.000 Bill Hicks said the show's producers had reviewed and okayed his set a week before when he was bumped for time constraints from an earlier program.

03:27:59.000 He blames the network for what he considers a blatant act of censorship.

03:28:03.000 And he says, Hicks said, it's absolutely stunning to me the contempt in which the network holds the audience.

03:28:10.000 Hicks said, the idea that these people have standards is laughable.

03:28:14.000 Nice, dude.

03:28:15.000 Pre-Twitter.

03:28:16.000 Aye, aye, aye.

03:28:17.000 He said, I performed this stuff for my mom on her porch in Little Rock, Arkansas.

03:28:21.000 He said, I even wore a delightful new outfit with fall colors.

03:28:25.000 I didn't wear black.

03:28:26.000 He's mocking them. 1.00

03:28:27.000 He's like, fuck you. 1.00

03:28:28.000 I get it. 1.00

03:28:29.000 I'm done.

03:28:30.000 Diet of cancer. 1.00

03:28:31.000 Eat shit. 1.00

03:28:31.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:28:32.000 Well, that was also one of his last sets, right?

03:28:35.000 Yeah, that was a big moment for him.

03:28:37.000 Oh, really?

03:28:37.000 Yeah, it was one of his last sets.

03:28:39.000 Oh, damn. 1.00

03:28:40.000 He smoked like a chimney. 1.00

03:28:42.000 Yeah, I knew that.

03:28:44.000 Pancreatic.

03:28:44.000 You ever seen the documentary on him where he's a kid?

03:28:48.000 I think he's 14, maybe?

03:28:50.000 Doing stand-up.

03:28:51.000 And he's funny!

03:28:52.000 Really?

03:28:52.000 He's doing impressions of his teachers, and it's killing.

03:28:55.000 I think when you're a guy like that and you're traveling around the world, you're constantly creating and you're constantly trying to like fucking Figure out a way to entertain yourself and entertain people at the same time. 0.90

03:29:08.000 And you're really smart. 0.86

03:29:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:29:10.000 And you're working with a lot of people that are doing really dumb shit. 1.00

03:29:13.000 That's what you get. 1.00

03:29:15.000 Yeah.

03:29:15.000 You get a guy that's just like, I'm happy to fill your lives with entertainment you couldn't possibly think up yourself.

03:29:23.000 He's just doing another level.

03:29:24.000 And he would say that and just strut on stage like that.

03:29:27.000 Yeah, and he did hell gigs.

03:29:29.000 Oh my god, I watched him bomb at the Knicks Comedy Stop.

03:29:33.000 Really?

03:29:33.000 Oh my god, bomb!

03:29:34.000 Me and Greg Fitzsimmons watched him bomb!

03:29:38.000 Clear the room.

03:29:38.000 There's a guy named Larry Norton, comic on a Harley.

03:29:42.000 And Larry Norton...

03:29:43.000 I guarantee that guy's murdered.

03:29:45.000 That's a good tour.

03:29:47.000 Comic on a Harley.

03:29:48.000 Definitely.

03:29:49.000 A good guy, too.

03:29:49.000 Very nice guy.

03:29:51.000 But, you know, he's doing, like, cartoon characters. 0.99

03:29:54.000 He had, like, bits about cartoon characters smoking pot and shit. 1.00

03:29:57.000 He's murdering. 0.99

03:29:58.000 And then Hicks goes on afterwards and, I mean, clears the room.

03:30:04.000 Clears the room.

03:30:04.000 There was like 50 people left and we were dying.

03:30:07.000 50 people left and we were dying.

03:30:08.000 And he never once cracked.

03:30:10.000 Like, it never looked like it bothered him in the slightest.

03:30:13.000 But was it funny?

03:30:14.000 Yeah, it was funny, man.

03:30:15.000 We were laughing.

03:30:16.000 We were laughing.

03:30:18.000 Fitzsimmons and I were laughing. 0.93

03:30:19.000 It was ridiculous. 0.80

03:30:20.000 He was funny, man. 0.94

03:30:21.000 And he didn't lose his timing.

03:30:23.000 He didn't lose his composure.

03:30:25.000 Like, I've had bombings before.

03:30:27.000 He's playing to his audience, which is you guys in the back.

03:30:29.000 Yeah, there was definitely that.

03:30:30.000 And there's 50 people still in the audience that really did enjoy it, just young people that were kind of wild.

03:30:35.000 But it was something happened between the shift from Larry Norton, Comic-Con to Harley, to Bill Hicks.

03:30:42.000 The audience was just not ready.

03:30:45.000 It's a long name.

03:30:45.000 Nobody knows who Hicks was.

03:30:48.000 Something happened.

03:30:49.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:30:50.000 See, back then, Nick's Comedy Stop was the star.

03:30:55.000 Bro, that was a gentle one.

03:30:58.000 Nick's would set people up.

03:30:59.000 They'd have, like, Billy Crystal headline for the weekend, and they'd put Steve Sweeney, Don Gavin, Lenny Clark, all these murders on in front of them, and they would destroy.

03:31:09.000 These guys are like the best headliners you ever saw in your life, and they only have to do like 20 minutes, so they're coming out guns blazing.

03:31:16.000 Larry Norton, comedian on a Harley.

03:31:18.000 Comic on a Harley, that's him, man.

03:31:19.000 Do you think Comic on a Harley ever had to follow Hicks and go, ugh, I hate following this guy.

03:31:24.000 He's a nice guy.

03:31:24.000 He's too serious.

03:31:25.000 Don't put his material up there.

03:31:27.000 There's no need to do that.

03:31:28.000 But anyway, so this was the guy.

03:31:30.000 So he goes up.

03:31:31.000 That's a later watch.

03:31:32.000 Nice guy, by the way. 0.99

03:31:33.000 He goes up and kills. 0.89

03:31:37.000 And we had...

03:31:39.000 It was like such a lesson in the composure of a guy bombing.

03:31:42.000 Because it never affected him.

03:31:45.000 Like, it was wild!

03:31:47.000 Because, you know, I've never bombed and not felt terrible.

03:31:50.000 Like, what was happening?

03:31:51.000 That's the worst.

03:31:51.000 You feel like your timing's off, you know?

03:31:54.000 He just stayed in it.

03:31:55.000 Yeah.

03:31:55.000 He was like, I know.

03:31:56.000 He was smiling. 1.00

03:31:58.000 He was doing this bit where it's like John Davidson gets fucked up the ass... 1.00

03:32:04.000 I already love it. 1.00

03:32:06.000 John Davidson was the host of one of those shows.

03:32:10.000 That's Incredible, one of those shows. 1.00

03:32:12.000 And he gets fucked up the ass by the devil, and the devil implants his scaly semen inside his body, and then this guy has to shit it out on the toilet. 1.00

03:32:27.000 And so as he's shitting it out on the toilet, Hicks is sitting there grunting and shitting like, yeah! 1.00

03:32:35.000 And he looks around and he goes, yeah, this usually clears the room. 0.82

03:32:41.000 People are just getting up in droves.

03:32:45.000 It was pretty wild. 0.99

03:32:47.000 I'm sure you played the cunt video where he yelled the back. 0.99

03:32:50.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, that's amazing. 0.98

03:32:52.000 I just love the idea of an audience member going to his wife like, We should go, right?

03:32:56.000 Like, yeah, it's not gonna cool.

03:32:57.000 Back to... 0.95

03:32:57.000 Let's get the fuck out of here. 0.95

03:33:02.000 How long is he going? 0.99

03:33:04.000 It was long, too.

03:33:06.000 He used to be squatting for like two minutes. 0.99

03:33:12.000 Damn. 0.99

03:33:14.000 That's bold. 1.00

03:33:15.000 The commitment.

03:33:16.000 Fitzsimmons and I were crying.

03:33:18.000 We were crying.

03:33:20.000 We were 21. We just started doing comedy.

03:33:23.000 We were in the back of the room.

03:33:23.000 Did he have friends there?

03:33:25.000 I don't know, man.

03:33:26.000 I was an open mic.

03:33:28.000 He just loved what he was doing.

03:33:30.000 I didn't know anybody.

03:33:31.000 I didn't know who was connected to anybody. 0.99

03:33:33.000 This is the cunt video. 1.00

03:33:34.000 This is the cunt video. 1.00

03:33:35.000 He yells at some woman in the audience that she's a cunt. 1.00

03:33:38.000 I typed in John Davidson. 1.00

03:33:39.000 This is what popped up.

03:33:40.000 Oh, this is the bit.

03:33:42.000 Oh, yeah, this is the bit.

03:33:52.000 Oh, my God.

03:33:56.000 He just hated them.

03:33:57.000 Wow.

03:33:58.000 You know, it was like fake contempt because he loved performing, you know?

03:34:02.000 Right.

03:34:02.000 You can't be that good.

03:34:03.000 He was an artist.

03:34:04.000 He hated a version of them.

03:34:06.000 It was like, they're probably in here.

03:34:07.000 Well, he wanted to elevate their standards.

03:34:10.000 And one of the ways you elevate someone's standards, if you're that guy...

03:34:13.000 Mock it.

03:34:14.000 You mock.

03:34:15.000 Yeah.

03:34:15.000 You mock what you're doing.

03:34:16.000 You mock. 1.00

03:34:16.000 Get your fucking shit together. 1.00

03:34:18.000 Wear better clothes. 1.00

03:34:19.000 Listen to better music. 1.00

03:34:21.000 Shut the fuck up and get off TikTok. 1.00

03:34:24.000 That's like... 1.00

03:34:26.000 You know, in a lot of ways, Joey Diaz mirrors those thoughts.

03:34:30.000 Dude, one time me and Joey were at the La Jolla Comedy Store with Kelly Kirsten and I was too dirty and they were like, you could tell people were annoyed.

03:34:36.000 And so then after me, Kelly was on stage and some old couple was out The fucked up thing about comedy when you come into comedy and you don't know who's 0.67

03:35:06.000 going to be there.

03:35:08.000 It's like if you go into the comedy store on a Tuesday night and you don't know any of the people's names, you're just gonna go and hope you see comedy.

03:35:14.000 The styles go up and down and different.

03:35:17.000 Right!

03:35:17.000 It's like, see, if you come to me, it's like, how about last night?

03:35:22.000 How about last night?

03:35:25.000 So am I, dude.

03:35:26.000 I just came out of it.

03:35:30.000 Rubbing my arm, I look up, you're like, well, the styles go up and down and they're different.

03:35:34.000 I can't do it, dude. 0.99

03:35:36.000 Shut up. 1.00

03:35:37.000 You know what it's like? 1.00

03:35:40.000 It's like music.

03:35:41.000 Like if you have just live music.

03:35:43.000 No one would ever have live music where you have rap music next to country.

03:35:49.000 Right?

03:35:50.000 No, you're right.

03:35:52.000 You would never have all that on one show without telling people what's going on.

03:36:00.000 No, but you got Leslie Jones who actually did Jizzleneck. 1.00

03:36:02.000 It's like, what the fuck is this? 0.99

03:36:04.000 And then Holtzman. 1.00

03:36:07.000 Holtzman! 0.53

03:36:08.000 I love that guy. 1.00

03:36:08.000 He's a fucking beast. 1.00

03:36:10.000 How's he doing? 1.00

03:36:11.000 He's great.

03:36:11.000 How does he pay the rent?

03:36:12.000 Was he just at Skankfest?

03:36:14.000 Oh, good.

03:36:14.000 Yeah.

03:36:15.000 He was, yeah.

03:36:16.000 I saw a photo.

03:36:17.000 He should be a national.

03:36:18.000 There's no chance I'm doing stand-up.

03:36:20.000 What do you mean?

03:36:21.000 You're gonna do it.

03:36:22.000 Well, it's only 5.30.

03:36:24.000 That's not true.

03:36:25.000 A show in three hours?

03:36:25.000 That's not true.

03:36:26.000 It's not 5.30.

03:36:28.000 Fine.

03:36:29.000 Can we at least prep the crowd and let them know we've taken a lot of drugs?

03:36:32.000 Yeah, we'll be down by that.

03:36:34.000 Three more hours, we'll be totally fine.

03:36:35.000 100% sober.

03:36:36.000 The booze, maybe.

03:36:37.000 The booze may be a problem.

03:36:39.000 We need booze. 1.00

03:36:40.000 To stay even.

03:36:41.000 Now we need it more than ever.

03:36:42.000 Now is when we should switch to coffee.

03:36:43.000 What time is it?

03:36:44.000 528? 0.98

03:36:44.000 Ride the lightning pussies. 0.98

03:36:47.000 Let's go. 0.98

03:36:48.000 I'm not going to go.

03:36:48.000 Let's go.

03:36:50.000 Joe, can you sell ride the lightning pussy shirts? 0.99

03:36:52.000 Yes. 0.99

03:36:53.000 Ride the Lightning Pussy is going to be my new special. 1.00

03:36:55.000 That's the name. 0.98

03:36:56.000 I was going to call it Sacred Clown because that's the name of the tour, but now it's Ride the Lightning Pussy. 0.97

03:37:00.000 I love it. 0.97

03:37:01.000 Get a big unicorn.

03:37:03.000 I don't know if I can be on mushrooms.

03:37:05.000 Sun.

03:37:06.000 In that green room?

03:37:07.000 You can.

03:37:08.000 You'll be down by then.

03:37:09.000 Three hours.

03:37:10.000 You'll be down by then.

03:37:11.000 Bro, how about the green room we're setting up?

03:37:13.000 That's incredible.

03:37:13.000 That's a new place?

03:37:14.000 That bar.

03:37:15.000 Shout out to the new Rogan Club. 0.99

03:37:17.000 It's fucking great. 0.99

03:37:17.000 It's a beauty. 0.99

03:37:18.000 Holy fuck. 1.00

03:37:19.000 It's a peach. 1.00

03:37:20.000 People can't wait.

03:37:21.000 When I walk around in it, man, I don't even believe it's real.

03:37:24.000 The Comedian's Bar is...

03:37:26.000 That's insane.

03:37:28.000 It's... 0.93

03:37:29.000 That'll get shitty.

03:37:30.000 Never been treated so well.

03:37:31.000 That'll be a fun place.

03:37:32.000 You said that!

03:37:32.000 It wasn't me!

03:37:33.000 It wasn't me!

03:37:34.000 It wasn't me!

03:37:35.000 I wanted every party.

03:37:36.000 I'm gonna fight you in there.

03:37:37.000 Yeah!

03:37:38.000 For sure.

03:37:39.000 What?

03:37:40.000 Isn't that nice?

03:37:41.000 You can see the building where we're all gonna fight each other.

03:37:44.000 Yeah.

03:37:45.000 To the death.

03:37:46.000 She was with me.

03:37:47.000 To the death.

03:37:48.000 There'll be a lot of that in there.

03:37:49.000 I saw her first.

03:37:52.000 Yeah, how do we do that with guys? 1.00

03:37:54.000 How do we prevent all that stupid shit from happening? 1.00

03:37:55.000 That's just gonna happen. 1.00

03:37:56.000 You're gonna be like a take-it-outside policy.

03:37:58.000 Yeah.

03:37:59.000 Deal with this knot in here.

03:38:00.000 You know what you gotta do? 0.98

03:38:01.000 Learn to be fucking civil with each other. 0.98

03:38:03.000 You gotta fight on the tunnel. 0.99

03:38:04.000 Fight in the tunnel.

03:38:05.000 Go fight in the tunnel.

03:38:06.000 Come down the tunnel, there's a slobber knocker going on.

03:38:09.000 We should have boxing gloves down there.

03:38:11.000 Let it out.

03:38:12.000 Get it all out. 1.00

03:38:12.000 That's not fair, because then big guys would fuck small guys with girlfriends. 1.00

03:38:15.000 Ah, good point. 1.00

03:38:17.000 It's like Vikings.

03:38:18.000 Steal their girls. 0.91

03:38:19.000 There should be a take it outside policy. 1.00

03:38:21.000 Come on, Todd Barry, put the fucking gloves on. 1.00

03:38:24.000 I'm like, what? 1.00

03:38:25.000 Put the gloves on.

03:38:26.000 Boom! 0.99

03:38:27.000 You know how horrible that is?

03:38:29.000 That's a terrible idea. 1.00

03:38:30.000 Get the fucking gloves out of here. 1.00

03:38:32.000 That can never be an option. 1.00

03:38:34.000 We'll just go tasers.

03:38:37.000 Yeah, tase each other.

03:38:38.000 Get it out.

03:38:39.000 It's amazing how few people have tasers.

03:38:43.000 Imagine, that should be something you have on you all the time. 0.99

03:38:46.000 If some guy starts fucking you, you can just shut him off with a button. 0.97

03:38:49.000 Why don't you have that? 0.99

03:38:50.000 My buddy's dad was a cop, and he had brought his taser out one night, and we had a blast.

03:39:17.000 He was studying, he was playing football. 1.00

03:39:23.000 Cow farms, and you would go touch the fucking wires. 1.00

03:39:26.000 There was a farm. 1.00

03:39:27.000 No fucking way! 0.99

03:39:28.000 Yeah, there was a... 0.99

03:39:29.000 There, you see?

03:39:30.000 That's where Zod's got close together.

03:39:31.000 No!

03:39:32.000 What are you drinking?

03:39:33.000 No, you touch the wires.

03:39:33.000 You had injuries along with touching the wires.

03:39:35.000 Are we trying to heal yourself?

03:39:36.000 And then you hold hands with your friends and see how...

03:39:38.000 See how much you can all get shocked.

03:39:40.000 Right, you connect.

03:39:41.000 It's a connection.

03:39:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:39:44.000 He's the first guy.

03:39:45.000 No, he didn't.

03:39:46.000 It's so funny.

03:39:47.000 Did you really?

03:39:48.000 So you all held hands until one of them touched the wire?

03:39:50.000 Yeah, until one of them touched the wire.

03:39:52.000 Oh, my God.

03:39:53.000 Did anybody ever seizure?

03:39:54.000 There's got to be a video of that.

03:39:56.000 Did anybody ever seizure?

03:39:57.000 No.

03:39:57.000 Nothing.

03:39:58.000 None of us had a seizure.

03:39:59.000 But it was a real shock.

03:40:00.000 Interesting.

03:40:01.000 No one died.

03:40:02.000 No one had a seizure.

03:40:02.000 Julius seizure?

03:40:03.000 Yeah.

03:40:03.000 There you go.

03:40:04.000 Good to have you back.

03:40:05.000 Thank you for that knowledge.

03:40:09.000 I would imagine that could fuck some people up.

03:40:12.000 It's like everything else. 0.99

03:40:13.000 Some people, a certain amount of Tylenol will kill you.

03:40:16.000 Other people, you could just take more.

03:40:17.000 I'd take it every week.

03:40:19.000 And Seroquel.

03:40:21.000 Apparently it's not good.

03:40:22.000 Apparently not.

03:40:23.000 But we used to steal shrooms from cow farms, and then we'd get shot at.

03:40:28.000 They'd be like, get out of here, boy!

03:40:30.000 We'd shoot. 0.99

03:40:30.000 You don't want this! 0.99

03:40:31.000 It'll be gone in a day!

03:40:33.000 Well, where Duncan used to live in Asheville, they actually started feeding the cows some antifungal food.

03:40:40.000 No! 0.99

03:40:41.000 So it fucked with the cows... 1.00

03:40:43.000 Boo! 1.00

03:40:43.000 For what? 1.00

03:40:44.000 It fucked with the cows' microbiome so that the cow... 1.00

03:40:47.000 I don't even know if it worked, but the cows produced shit that fungus couldn't grow in. 0.99

03:40:52.000 Boo! 0.99

03:40:52.000 Bummer. 0.99

03:40:53.000 You're adding money to your fucking overhead just to give people less joy? 1.00

03:40:58.000 Which you should have. 0.99

03:40:59.000 If you were like fucking White Oaks pastures where everything is like regenerative farming, you'd have a mushroom harvester. 0.98

03:41:06.000 If you lived in a sane world, you could sell those mushrooms to your neighbors. 0.98

03:41:10.000 Dude, in Chiang Mai, the hippies start going to the elephant pastures.

03:41:14.000 Yeah, in Thailand.

03:41:15.000 I went to that place. 1.00

03:41:17.000 They were like, why are all these hippies coming on our fucking elephant bastards at the late night? 1.00

03:41:22.000 And they figured it out, and they're like, hey, you guys are good. 1.00

03:41:23.000 We're selling this.

03:41:24.000 We're selling this.

03:41:26.000 Dude, I rode on those elephants.

03:41:28.000 I rode an elephant all the way to Chiang Mai down to the river.

03:41:32.000 What a powerful experience.

03:41:33.000 What were you doing up there? 0.84

03:41:34.000 I was just fucking dreading. 1.00

03:41:36.000 What the fuck were you doing in Chiang Mai? 0.99

03:41:36.000 I didn't want to do it. 0.99

03:41:37.000 My family wanted to do it. 1.00

03:41:38.000 One of my kids fell off a fucking elephant. 1.00

03:41:41.000 No! 1.00

03:41:42.000 She got fucked! 1.00

03:41:44.000 Chiang Mai riding a fucking elephant. 1.00

03:41:47.000 My wife's a crazy bitch. 1.00

03:41:48.000 Shout out Chiang Mai! 1.00

03:41:49.000 City on the rise!

03:41:50.000 My wife's amazing, but she's a wild lady. 1.00

03:41:53.000 She thought it'd be a good idea.

03:41:56.000 I didn't want to ride the elephants because my perception is that they don't want to be ridden.

03:42:00.000 They don't want to be ridden.

03:42:01.000 That's a good perception. 0.99

03:42:02.000 But they're so big they don't give a shit. 1.00

03:42:03.000 But they don't give a shit because they're so big it's literally like a kitten on your shoulders. 1.00

03:42:08.000 Right. 1.00

03:42:08.000 You don't feel like anything to them. 1.00

03:42:10.000 But I don't think they like it.

03:42:12.000 I love it.

03:42:13.000 The worst part is when they play harmonica and you're like, that's not natural.

03:42:17.000 Harmonica?

03:42:18.000 Huh?

03:42:18.000 Yeah, you never saw them take a harmonica and start playing it?

03:42:20.000 Really?

03:42:21.000 Harmonica Lewinsky.

03:42:22.000 No, I was never one of those.

03:42:23.000 No, I never saw that.

03:42:23.000 Yeah, yeah, they play harmonica, or they'll draw a painting with their tusk.

03:42:26.000 I've seen that.

03:42:27.000 With their nose.

03:42:29.000 That's beautiful.

03:42:30.000 Their snout.

03:42:30.000 It's crazy that they could do that.

03:42:31.000 They could draw an elephant.

03:42:32.000 They're pretty good.

03:42:33.000 It's beautiful.

03:42:34.000 Pull it up, J. Mara.

03:42:35.000 It's good training.

03:42:36.000 Justin Silver trained them all.

03:42:37.000 Elephant's painting.

03:42:38.000 Elephant's painting.

03:42:38.000 Beautiful.

03:42:42.000 I went over this guy's house once.

03:42:46.000 He was a big-time Hollywood agent.

03:42:48.000 He had this house in Aspen.

03:42:50.000 Beautiful house.

03:42:51.000 He walked in his house, and he had this thing on the wall.

03:42:55.000 And I said, is this from his kid?

03:42:58.000 Did his kid make this?

03:43:00.000 And they go, no, that's a... 0.99

03:43:04.000 Whatever the fuck it is, some famous artist that had never heard of before. 0.99

03:43:10.000 They just said some name. 0.99

03:43:11.000 I don't remember the name.

03:43:13.000 And then I go, what is that worth?

03:43:16.000 I go, what is that worth?

03:43:16.000 They're like, that's a $150,000 piece.

03:43:19.000 I go, that's worth $150,000.

03:43:21.000 I go, I thought of his kit.

03:43:22.000 Without malice, you were like, that's nice.

03:43:24.000 I mean, the number 150, I'm just making it up.

03:43:26.000 I don't really remember what the number was.

03:43:28.000 But it was something crazy like that, where I was like, what are you talking about?

03:43:31.000 That?

03:43:32.000 I thought his kid made that. 1.00

03:43:34.000 The fucking nonsense you people buy. 1.00

03:43:37.000 This is what happens to these people that have too much money. 1.00

03:43:40.000 They just find yachts and fucking houses and things and art. 1.00

03:43:47.000 They just buy nonsense. 1.00

03:43:49.000 No.

03:43:50.000 Pull it up.

03:43:51.000 Yeah, we started talking about that earlier.

03:43:54.000 It's not Balenciaga.

03:43:56.000 It's someone who is an artist.

03:43:59.000 What?

03:43:59.000 Someone who is a designer.

03:44:01.000 Well, hold on.

03:44:02.000 Did you look at the artwork? 1.00

03:44:03.000 Put on your fucking thing. 1.00

03:44:04.000 I can't be seen seriously right now. 1.00

03:44:08.000 What does that mean?

03:44:09.000 Wait, what happened?

03:44:11.000 That means this.

03:44:12.000 I can't be on camera going, did you see what happened?

03:44:17.000 Stay strong.

03:44:18.000 I don't like it.

03:44:19.000 Hey, hold it together.

03:44:20.000 I need you to stay strong.

03:44:22.000 Not a good sign.

03:44:23.000 I need you to stay strong.

03:44:24.000 What happened?

03:44:25.000 What happened with Balenciaga?

03:44:26.000 Well, Balenciaga had some fucked up ad photoshoot, but in the background they had the books of this one artist.

03:44:31.000 And they all love this artist. 1.00

03:44:33.000 And the artwork's like fucking children. 1.00

03:44:35.000 It's bad, dude. 1.00

03:44:36.000 Pull it up.

03:44:37.000 I don't know this.

03:44:37.000 It's really like the darkest, weirdest art possible.

03:44:40.000 And they apologized because they said that someone made that and they didn't know what was in the background.

03:44:46.000 That wasn't the main book. 0.99

03:44:47.000 Like this shit. 1.00

03:44:48.000 Whoa! 1.00

03:44:49.000 That is awesome!

03:44:53.000 Castrated toddlers? 1.00

03:44:55.000 What the fuck? 1.00

03:44:56.000 Wait, are they bleeping out a painting? 1.00

03:44:58.000 What is this?

03:44:58.000 This is castrated toddlers?

03:45:00.000 And Kanye's the bad guy.

03:45:02.000 What scrap Balenciaga campaign featured book by painter whose work included castrated toddlers?

03:45:10.000 Oh my god. 1.00

03:45:12.000 What the fuck? 1.00

03:45:13.000 Bro. 1.00

03:45:14.000 It's just paintings.

03:45:15.000 Who's this lady? 1.00

03:45:15.000 Yeah, but if you look at them all, you had a lot of them. 1.00

03:45:18.000 It's paintings of castrated babies.

03:45:19.000 What are you going to do for the next 60 hours of your life, Ari? 0.96

03:45:22.000 Oh, I'm going to make castrated babies. 1.00

03:45:25.000 What the hell? 1.00

03:45:26.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

03:45:27.000 He's a weirdo. 1.00

03:45:29.000 Like, who the fuck are you? 1.00

03:45:30.000 Like, why is that in your ad campaign? 1.00

03:45:33.000 Anyone else hard?

03:45:35.000 He's got some Goya.

03:45:36.000 A little Goya-esque, and I like Goya. 0.99

03:45:38.000 Goya's good.

03:45:39.000 This guy's got some freaks.

03:45:40.000 We're Goyas. 0.94

03:45:41.000 That's right, you're all goyous. 1.00

03:45:43.000 Maybe there was like a message he was trying to convey with it.

03:45:49.000 It's pretty badass, that painting.

03:45:52.000 Dude, don't even show me this.

03:45:54.000 Don't even show me this.

03:45:55.000 That painting is so cool.

03:45:58.000 Like, what kind of message is that?

03:46:01.000 Holy moly.

03:46:01.000 What is he trying to say?

03:46:02.000 It's like, is there a way that you can interpret that charitably?

03:46:05.000 We could say, like, he's trying to say something about circumcision.

03:46:08.000 Probably.

03:46:10.000 There's probably something there, right?

03:46:11.000 We're all served, right? 0.99

03:46:12.000 Yeah, which you think, yeah, that's a fucked up thing, man. 1.00

03:46:15.000 A lot of people lose their dicks. 1.00

03:46:17.000 Huh? 0.99

03:46:18.000 Yeah.

03:46:19.000 What?

03:46:19.000 When babies get circumcised, a lot of them, they get infections.

03:46:22.000 They wind up losing their penises. 0.98

03:46:24.000 There's a certain amount of them every year. 0.99

03:46:26.000 Really?

03:46:26.000 I will say.

03:46:27.000 Yeah, there's a certain amount every year where that happens. 1.00

03:46:30.000 They lose their dicks to fucking circumcise them. 1.00

03:46:32.000 Do it the right way. 1.00

03:46:33.000 Let's find out.

03:46:34.000 Let's find out what the number is.

03:46:35.000 It's a rebuttal. 0.99

03:46:36.000 Suck on them afterwards. 1.00

03:46:37.000 Gotta have that suck off. 1.00

03:46:38.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:46:38.000 That's the problem, when you don't suck off that dick. 1.00

03:46:40.000 Well, people have died that way, too. 1.00

03:46:41.000 You choose your dick. 1.00

03:46:42.000 Do you know people have died that way? 1.00

03:46:44.000 You choose?

03:46:44.000 What?

03:46:44.000 People have died that way.

03:46:45.000 Which way?

03:46:46.000 Babies have died from herpes.

03:46:48.000 They have a long life.

03:46:50.000 Charitable.

03:46:50.000 Charitable life.

03:46:51.000 No, no.

03:46:52.000 Babies have died.

03:46:53.000 Rabbi.

03:46:54.000 Yeah.

03:46:55.000 Right?

03:46:55.000 Isn't that true?

03:46:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:46:57.000 Herpy.

03:46:58.000 Jamie, can you Google, uh, Jews crossing the street?

03:47:01.000 No, no, no.

03:47:01.000 Google the first one.

03:47:03.000 What was the first one you were Googling?

03:47:03.000 Jews crossing the street was great.

03:47:05.000 Jews crossing the street is one of the greatest.

03:47:07.000 Jamie.

03:47:07.000 Jamie, Jews crossing the street.

03:47:08.000 We've all decided.

03:47:09.000 We've all decided.

03:47:10.000 Jews crossing the street during a marathon. 1.00

03:47:12.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

03:47:13.000 Jamie, what did I ask you first? 1.00

03:47:15.000 I don't know.

03:47:15.000 I'm asking.

03:47:16.000 It's a moment past.

03:47:17.000 Jews crossing the street.

03:47:18.000 Jews crossing the street during a marathon.

03:47:20.000 I'm trying to keep entertaining here.

03:47:21.000 That's the best. 0.99

03:47:22.000 It was how many people lose their penises due to circumcision. 0.99

03:47:27.000 That's also good. 0.99

03:47:28.000 That's also a good road.

03:47:29.000 We could need a split screen on that.

03:47:30.000 We don't want that.

03:47:31.000 I'm telling you.

03:47:33.000 Jews crossing streets.

03:47:35.000 Jews crossing streets.

03:47:35.000 What does that mean?

03:47:37.000 Jews crossing streets.

03:47:39.000 It's doing Jews crossing streets during a marathon in Brooklyn.

03:47:43.000 That's amazing.

03:47:44.000 That is good stuff.

03:47:48.000 It's like Frogger.

03:47:49.000 Oh, they just run through the marathon?

03:47:51.000 Oh my god, that's hilarious.

03:47:54.000 Oh, look at him run with the hat on!

03:47:57.000 Hey, what are you supposed to do?

03:48:00.000 Flatbush Avenue?

03:48:01.000 And that was you. 1.00

03:48:01.000 You were doing that shit. 1.00

03:48:03.000 We live in a place where there's a fucking marathon. 1.00

03:48:06.000 Did you have to dress like that? 1.00

03:48:07.000 No, no, no.

03:48:08.000 I was a step down.

03:48:08.000 Those guys ruled.

03:48:09.000 Those guys ruled.

03:48:10.000 I was trying.

03:48:11.000 I was a phony.

03:48:11.000 Those guys ruled.

03:48:12.000 What are you supposed to do?

03:48:14.000 What are you supposed to do when a marathon goes by and you want to cross the street?

03:48:17.000 Do you play Frogger?

03:48:19.000 Yeah.

03:48:20.000 When I lived next to the Comedy Store.

03:48:21.000 The LA Marathon came by there.

03:48:23.000 I was like, I live right there.

03:48:24.000 Can I park my car?

03:48:24.000 And the cops were like, no.

03:48:26.000 There's no break.

03:48:27.000 You can't.

03:48:28.000 Man.

03:48:29.000 Choose marathons.

03:48:31.000 For how long?

03:48:32.000 For how many hours?

03:48:33.000 I don't know.

03:48:33.000 Beat it, dude.

03:48:34.000 I don't know. 0.99

03:48:34.000 Fucking fill your time with something. 0.99

03:48:37.000 Shut the whole city down for that shit. 1.00

03:48:39.000 That is so odd. 1.00

03:48:40.000 Only time to shit yourself in public and people will commend you. 1.00

03:48:44.000 That's true. 1.00

03:48:45.000 You can just hold it in just for that moment.

03:48:46.000 There's marathons. 0.98

03:48:47.000 McCusker, my buddy, was talking about shitting at the beginning of a marathon. 0.97

03:48:51.000 Just right away. 0.96

03:48:54.000 You appear so brave. 1.00

03:48:57.000 He's been running with shit dripping down his legs. 1.00

03:49:01.000 For 26 miles. 1.00

03:49:04.000 I'm scared of guns.

03:49:07.000 The king!

03:49:08.000 He doesn't even bother holding it in.

03:49:11.000 You don't even run.

03:49:13.000 Get set. 1.00

03:49:13.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

03:49:16.000 That's a sketch. 1.00

03:49:17.000 Oh my god, you run with shit. 1.00

03:49:19.000 That's great. 1.00

03:49:20.000 Right away.

03:49:20.000 You probably have a wider berth.

03:49:22.000 People would get out of your way more. 1.00

03:49:23.000 Those people puking and shitting is great. 1.00

03:49:26.000 This is all Matt does. 1.00

03:49:28.000 Matt just tells me shit like this. 1.00

03:49:30.000 Imagine a guy who's puking and shitting at mile one right away. 1.00

03:49:37.000 And you're like, oh no! 0.97

03:49:39.000 You have hours of this left, sir! 0.98

03:49:41.000 You're really sick, dude. 1.00

03:49:42.000 You're really fucking sick. 1.00

03:49:45.000 So he asked to decide, what am I doing with my life? 1.00

03:49:48.000 Oh, look at that guy!

03:49:50.000 Look at that guy!

03:49:52.000 Wow!

03:49:56.000 What stunning guy!

03:49:57.000 That's how half these podcasts...

03:49:59.000 Half marathon!

03:50:00.000 It's a half marathon!

03:50:02.000 Every one of these podcasts ends with one of us like...

03:50:05.000 Ari's like, sharted earlier.

03:50:08.000 Ari's like, it's a half marathon. 1.00

03:50:09.000 That's 13 fucking miles. 1.00

03:50:11.000 That was after 13. That was earlier in the race. 0.99

03:50:14.000 How do you know? 0.99

03:50:15.000 Because he didn't shit right at the end. 0.99

03:50:16.000 It might be right at the end. 0.99

03:50:17.000 There's no ticker tape.

03:50:18.000 It's a photo finish.

03:50:19.000 It's 11 at max.

03:50:20.000 But even if you're doing 13 miles, like if a marathon is three hours.

03:50:24.000 Nobody else shits themselves.

03:50:26.000 That guy's weird. 0.95

03:50:27.000 That guy's weird.

03:50:28.000 No, it's just common.

03:50:29.000 It's very common.

03:50:30.000 It is, but also.

03:50:31.000 Oh, look at this guy.

03:50:32.000 I know that face.

03:50:34.000 I know we've all had that face.

03:50:36.000 Right when Tyria shits himself during race, finishes top of category anyway.

03:50:40.000 What category? 1.00

03:50:41.000 Shit category? 1.00

03:50:42.000 Shit. 1.00

03:50:43.000 Shitting and running. 1.00

03:50:44.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:50:46.000 He's like, give me five minutes.

03:50:49.000 Oh my god, that's a t-shirt.

03:50:53.000 That should be a Squid Game episode.

03:50:57.000 That guy had victory tunnel vision.

03:51:00.000 That would be like the cover of an album if he became a rapper. 0.99

03:51:03.000 Shitting and running. 0.99

03:51:04.000 How do you keep... 1.00

03:51:07.000 How do you keep running?

03:51:09.000 How do you keep going?

03:51:09.000 The focus that takes.

03:51:10.000 No, you gotta fucking go home. 1.00

03:51:12.000 Shut up! 1.00

03:51:12.000 Keep running! 1.00

03:51:13.000 That's Rogan competitive.

03:51:14.000 Keep going!

03:51:15.000 You gotta keep going!

03:51:17.000 I'm a tiger.

03:51:19.000 I'm a tiger. 1.00

03:51:19.000 You already shit yourself. 1.00

03:51:20.000 Hold on. 1.00

03:51:21.000 It's a marathon. 0.99

03:51:22.000 No one gives a fuck. 0.99

03:51:23.000 He does. 1.00

03:51:25.000 He does.

03:51:26.000 What's his name?

03:51:27.000 He says, even I couldn't bear the smell.

03:51:30.000 Aww.

03:51:41.000 Did he win?

03:51:43.000 Oh, he did win!

03:51:45.000 Alright, alright, good for him!

03:51:46.000 He got his moment in the sun.

03:51:48.000 He beat the Africans. 0.99

03:51:49.000 Is that a professional marathon?

03:51:51.000 Do you get prize money?

03:51:52.000 Half marathon.

03:51:53.000 Another one.

03:51:54.000 I mean, if there's money, yes.

03:51:55.000 For money, you gotta go. 0.98

03:51:56.000 People are shitting themselves. 0.90

03:51:58.000 No, everyone else there was not executed. 0.99

03:52:01.000 It was a Chinese marathon.

03:52:03.000 It was a Shanghai half marathon.

03:52:06.000 Oh, so he's over there eating Shanghai food, too.

03:52:09.000 One hour, six minutes.

03:52:09.000 Imagine if you're not from there, you fly over there, you have some street tacos.

03:52:17.000 Let's go, baby.

03:52:19.000 Right before the race. 1.00

03:52:20.000 You shit Japan. 1.00

03:52:33.000 Somebody sponsored that guy. 1.00

03:52:34.000 They're like, yeah, that's my money.

03:52:36.000 Running down his leg.

03:52:38.000 Oh my god. 1.00

03:52:40.000 Yeah, you shit yourself. 1.00

03:52:41.000 That's showing commitment. 1.00

03:52:42.000 If you keep going.

03:52:44.000 I mean, he won.

03:52:45.000 He beat the African. 0.89

03:52:47.000 That's all he wanted.

03:52:48.000 He couldn't stand his own smell as he was running.

03:52:51.000 It is the eye of the tiger, but also the eye.

03:52:53.000 Did he start throwing up?

03:52:54.000 Is that kind of a nice analogy of life?

03:52:58.000 You see the moment?

03:52:59.000 Wait, when's he beat him?

03:53:00.000 Is this right when he's got a Duke-an? 0.99

03:53:01.000 He's getting torched by these Africans. 1.00

03:53:03.000 When's he Duke-an? 0.97

03:53:03.000 He used the propeller fuel. 0.97

03:53:04.000 Oh, there he goes.

03:53:05.000 Someone was editing.

03:53:06.000 He's back in front.

03:53:07.000 I don't see any Duke-an.

03:53:08.000 Wait, it's happening right now.

03:53:09.000 There it is!

03:53:10.000 Nope.

03:53:10.000 I was wrong.

03:53:11.000 No.

03:53:11.000 He's just running.

03:53:13.000 Where is it?

03:53:16.000 I wanted a squirt! 0.99

03:53:18.000 He probably barely shit himself. 0.99

03:53:19.000 Like Mark Norman did earlier. 0.99

03:53:22.000 Shark tank.

03:53:25.000 As he's running across that finish line. 0.99

03:53:27.000 You ever see the guy doing the flip and then they just play it backwards with shit going back into his boot? 0.99

03:53:34.000 Flipped and shit? 0.98

03:53:35.000 It's the most beautiful thing that's ever been made. 1.00

03:53:37.000 It flipped and shit at the same time? 0.99

03:53:38.000 Yeah, it flipped and shit and they just play backwards slow-mo. 1.00

03:53:40.000 Who is this crazy man? 1.00

03:53:42.000 What a genius. 0.99

03:53:43.000 You sure that's not Steve-o? 1.00

03:53:45.000 Flipped and shit at the same time? 0.99

03:53:47.000 It is a Steve-o type of thing. 0.99

03:53:48.000 Yeah, I don't know. 0.99

03:53:51.000 Damn. 0.99

03:53:52.000 Is it fun? 0.99

03:53:52.000 This is fun. 0.99

03:53:54.000 We came back.

03:53:56.000 We came back strong.

03:53:57.000 We're pretty rational now.

03:53:58.000 There was a moment where I couldn't stop laughing at everything.

03:54:00.000 Oh man, I was freaking out for a second.

03:54:02.000 Yeah, it was too much for a little bit.

03:54:04.000 You guys are done?

03:54:05.000 Huh?

03:54:05.000 We're gonna do a show in two hours.

03:54:07.000 No, I mean, I'm still...

03:54:08.000 Whoa! 0.71

03:54:09.000 Look at that. 1.00

03:54:09.000 He's shitting. 1.00

03:54:10.000 Whoa! 1.00

03:54:11.000 Look at that hook! 1.00

03:54:12.000 That was a question mark.

03:54:13.000 You gotta see it backwards.

03:54:14.000 This is a backwards show. 1.00

03:54:16.000 Look at this little log of shit that lands behind him. 1.00

03:54:20.000 It's like a missile. 1.00

03:54:21.000 Don't watch it on Ridiculousness.

03:54:23.000 Watch it on Uncensored.

03:54:24.000 Look at this. 1.00

03:54:24.000 Look at that shit. 1.00

03:54:26.000 I love this guy. 1.00

03:54:28.000 That's insane about a dookie.

03:54:30.000 Good for that guy. 1.00

03:54:32.000 What kind of confidence do you have in the ability to take a quick shit? 1.00

03:54:35.000 My theory is he tensed up, and he was doing it, and then she just shat. 0.99

03:54:39.000 I understand, but the volume.

03:54:41.000 The volume was quite a lot.

03:54:42.000 If you ask me, can I reproduce that, I'm like, no, sir, I can't.

03:54:45.000 No way.

03:54:46.000 Stop me if we've told this story before. 0.99

03:54:47.000 My friend used to take funny shits in school. 0.99

03:54:51.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

03:54:52.000 Did I tell you this?

03:54:53.000 No. 1.00

03:54:54.000 He would go, there was no doors on the stalls, so he would come up with a new way to shit every fucking day. 1.00

03:55:00.000 He would come up with a funny way to shit, so sometimes he'd be laying on top of the cross, and he'd shit straight down. 0.99

03:55:08.000 Sometimes he'd hold himself up at the roof of the stall. 0.99

03:55:11.000 It's really hard, man.

03:55:13.000 It's really hard to do. 1.00

03:55:15.000 If he couldn't shit, it'd be like one drop. 1.00

03:55:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:55:19.000 He was holding himself up.

03:55:20.000 So he held his legs up?

03:55:22.000 Yeah.

03:55:23.000 At the roof of the saw. 0.99

03:55:26.000 T.J. came in and was like, what the fuck's going on? 0.98

03:55:29.000 There's 20 of us watching a guy. 0.99

03:55:32.000 Oh my gosh.

03:55:33.000 Hey, you had to pass the time.

03:55:35.000 Was it all boys school?

03:55:36.000 No, but...

03:55:37.000 It was a weird moment. 0.99

03:55:40.000 The teacher had to be like, what the fuck was that? 0.99

03:55:42.000 You know she laughed at it. 0.99

03:55:44.000 I forget what club we were with with Joey.

03:55:46.000 Might have been like San Jose Improv.

03:55:48.000 But we go into the bathroom with Joey Diaz.

03:55:52.000 He goes, Joe Rogan.

03:55:53.000 Go take a look at why I left you.

03:55:55.000 And I go, what?

03:55:56.000 What are you talking about?

03:55:58.000 I open up the toilet and there's a log, like a drowning sailor that was pulled onto the shore. 0.96

03:56:07.000 At the time he was too big to sit on the toilet, so he sat in the front of the toilet and just shit on the dock.

03:56:19.000 He just dropped a log on the beach and you open the door and you go... 0.99

03:56:24.000 That was the funniest fucking thing. 0.99

03:56:30.000 You couldn't flush it. 0.99

03:56:31.000 It must have smelled so bad.

03:56:34.000 You had to help it into the water.

03:56:38.000 The beached whale. 0.73

03:56:39.000 It was ridiculous. 1.00

03:56:41.000 There's so many milligrams of weed in that shit. 1.00

03:56:43.000 Oh my god. 1.00

03:56:44.000 If you smelled that shit, you could get high. 1.00

03:56:46.000 Nobody can put weed away with Joey. 1.00

03:56:48.000 Not a human that's ever lived. 1.00

03:56:50.000 Shut your mouth. 1.00

03:56:51.000 My buddy was a psycho guy. 1.00

03:56:52.000 He would ruin parties. 0.66

03:56:54.000 And we had these houses in New Orleans.

03:56:56.000 He was the grandfather clock in the pool guy.

03:57:01.000 And there was a house with a heater grate on the floor.

03:57:06.000 The heat would come out of it. 0.99

03:57:07.000 And he shit on the grate. 0.98

03:57:08.000 And it just sat there like a hibachi. 1.00

03:57:11.000 The whole party in about 20 minutes was like, what the fuck? 1.00

03:57:16.000 Wait a minute, you're talking to a guy who shit in a Tupperware and opened it up on Skankfest. 1.00

03:57:22.000 Or on Legion of Skanks. 1.00

03:57:23.000 It was not shit. 0.99

03:57:24.000 It was Avenged Sevenfold's latest album. 0.99

03:57:26.000 It was the best. 1.00

03:57:28.000 Man, what a stupid joke. 1.00

03:57:29.000 We were laughing. 1.00

03:57:31.000 You also shit in a fish tank once, my friend. 1.00

03:57:35.000 That's what I want. 1.00

03:57:36.000 Your friend shit in a fish tank? 1.00

03:57:37.000 Yeah, he was kind of a legend. 1.00

03:57:39.000 He got kicked out of college.

03:57:40.000 I haven't seen him since. 0.99

03:57:42.000 Yeah, I shit in a Tupperware for Jay's birthday. 0.99

03:57:44.000 I cover it in paper. 0.99

03:57:47.000 Wrapping paper.

03:57:48.000 We sat there for two hours.

03:57:50.000 Then you gave it to him? 0.97

03:57:51.000 Yeah, he opened it up and it just fucking cleared. 0.93

03:57:53.000 Mickey Gall was there. 0.96

03:57:54.000 It cleared.

03:57:55.000 Rob Bennington was there. 0.99

03:57:56.000 They were all like, what the fuck, dude? 0.99

03:58:00.000 Yeah, Che was outside. 1.00

03:58:01.000 It was at Old Creek.

03:58:02.000 Che was in the bar. 1.00

03:58:03.000 He goes, what the fuck? 1.00

03:58:07.000 You gave someone shit for Ron Bennington? 1.00

03:58:09.000 Yeah, that's when he started wearing two glasses at once. 0.99

03:58:14.000 What did you say about Ron Bennington?

03:58:16.000 He's the best.

03:58:17.000 So crazy, dude.

03:58:17.000 Was he on the stage with you?

03:58:18.000 He was there with us, yeah.

03:58:20.000 Oh my god, you did that in front of him? 1.00

03:58:21.000 I didn't take the shit. 1.00

03:58:22.000 I took the shit a day and a half earlier. 1.00

03:58:24.000 Ron and Fez was a great show. 1.00

03:58:25.000 Great show.

03:58:26.000 That was a fun show to listen to.

03:58:29.000 Yeah, follow O&A. He has the Unmask.

03:58:31.000 Those Unmasks are great. 1.00

03:58:32.000 You did one.

03:58:33.000 I did an Unmask.

03:58:34.000 He is the best interviewer.

03:58:36.000 The O&A days, man.

03:58:37.000 Number one.

03:58:38.000 You know, the fact that those two guys separated and just went completely separate ways.

03:58:45.000 Yeah.

03:58:46.000 We were just watching it last night.

03:58:47.000 The baby bird was so funny.

03:58:49.000 When you think it's done, it doubles down how much puke is going to come up.

03:58:54.000 Pull it up.

03:58:55.000 That's the origin of everything we do.

03:58:57.000 Everything was O&A. ONA and then Ron and Fez.

03:59:00.000 You think so?

03:59:00.000 Maybe Stern was before that.

03:59:02.000 It definitely started for me with Stern.

03:59:04.000 And then what ONA was that was different was it was a hangout.

03:59:08.000 It was a hangout.

03:59:09.000 That's true.

03:59:10.000 For the record, this guy that has his head tilted back said, if you make me an intern...

03:59:15.000 Pat Duffy.

03:59:16.000 No, he was already an intern.

03:59:17.000 No, I thought that's how he got to be an intern.

03:59:20.000 No, no, no.

03:59:20.000 I don't think so.

03:59:21.000 I'm pretty sure he'd already scrubbed his teeth with cat shit. 0.99

03:59:25.000 He'd done a bunch of other things. 1.00

03:59:27.000 Really?

03:59:27.000 I thought that's the day.

03:59:28.000 He was like, I'll do this if you elevate me.

03:59:31.000 You might be right, but I'm not sure.

03:59:34.000 But it was my recollection that they had a bunch of stories about him.

03:59:38.000 He ate a puke that someone put Froot Loops in.

03:59:42.000 Yes, that night.

03:59:43.000 That was that day.

03:59:44.000 Earlier that day, he was like, puking it, I have Froot Loops, and I'll eat it.

03:59:47.000 It might have still been him.

03:59:48.000 What is he drinking?

03:59:50.000 Eggnog, right?

03:59:51.000 Yeah, I know.

03:59:52.000 You may be right.

03:59:53.000 For some reason, I think it's eggnog.

03:59:55.000 So, he throws up in this dude's mouth.

03:59:57.000 He's heavily diabetic, and he took an eggnog shot a minute.

04:00:00.000 How many people were here this day, Ari?

04:00:02.000 Me, you, Burr.

04:00:05.000 And who else?

04:00:06.000 Maybe Voss.

04:00:07.000 This guy's a champ.

04:00:09.000 Patrice was not there.

04:00:10.000 Oh, I thought he was.

04:00:10.000 No, it was...

04:00:12.000 Oh! 0.60

04:00:15.000 Opie, Anthony, Norton.

04:00:17.000 And someone named it the baby bird.

04:00:19.000 Might have been Burr.

04:00:21.000 Baby birding.

04:00:22.000 It was Cumia.

04:00:25.000 Wow.

04:00:25.000 It was so big.

04:00:28.000 Oh, man.

04:00:30.000 The guy doesn't move!

04:00:32.000 What a warrior!

04:00:32.000 He's a warrior.

04:00:33.000 This guy is a warrior.

04:00:34.000 For all respect to Pat.

04:00:36.000 He unloads on me.

04:00:37.000 He spit it out!

04:00:38.000 He spit it out!

04:00:40.000 This is like Jesus.

04:00:41.000 He's just taking it.

04:00:42.000 We're not done yet.

04:00:43.000 We're not done yet.

04:00:44.000 This is flip phone footage.

04:00:45.000 This guy is Christ.

04:00:46.000 We're not done yet, bro.

04:00:47.000 You think it's over again?

04:00:48.000 Oh! 0.60

04:00:50.000 You can't get any worse!

04:00:52.000 It gets so much worse!

04:00:55.000 Who had to clean this?

04:00:58.000 They had a tarp set up! 0.86

04:01:00.000 The garbage can is useless!

04:01:15.000 That was my idea. 0.97

04:01:18.000 Rest in peace Pat from Unaki.

04:01:23.000 He's a legend and the greatest throw up artist.

04:01:27.000 He's the greatest throw up artist that has ever existed.

04:01:30.000 He was putting his life in danger while doing this because he's a diabetic.

04:01:34.000 Super diabetic.

04:01:35.000 Dude, that was a piece of sugar milk.

04:01:38.000 Everything after that in radio is like, it's done.

04:01:41.000 Radio's over.

04:01:42.000 You're not going to beat that. 0.98

04:01:43.000 We had a fucking incredible time. 0.98

04:01:46.000 It was an incredible time. 0.99

04:01:47.000 More angles have popped up since this has come out.

04:01:50.000 But this was 15 years old.

04:01:51.000 More angles.

04:01:52.000 It was barfing from the side.

04:01:56.000 It was multiple people.

04:01:58.000 What those guys did was they started off podcasts.

04:02:00.000 It's a puker film.

04:02:01.000 Yeah.

04:02:02.000 Because they let us come on as comics and hang.

04:02:05.000 And be ourselves.

04:02:07.000 That's what it was. 0.91

04:02:08.000 They let us come on and hang.

04:02:10.000 And that's what taught us how to be podcasters.

04:02:12.000 Yeah, they would be cool.

04:02:13.000 100%.

04:02:13.000 There's no other angle.

04:02:15.000 Oh, my God.

04:02:16.000 It's too close.

04:02:17.000 It's way too close.

04:02:18.000 It's way too close.

04:02:19.000 We get it.

04:02:21.000 It's basically a bukkake.

04:02:22.000 You actually want it less clear.

04:02:24.000 It's a pew-kake. 0.99

04:02:25.000 Pew-kake. 1.00

04:02:26.000 Uh-huh.

04:02:30.000 Yeah, that was great.

04:02:31.000 I saw Burr two weeks later at the store.

04:02:35.000 I was in the cover booth.

04:02:38.000 I was in the cover booth and I saw Burr downstairs in the front patio talking and I was like, you're talking about the baby Burr, aren't you?

04:02:43.000 He goes, yeah.

04:02:45.000 You can just tell the air of someone who saw this crazy thing.

04:02:48.000 Yeah, you and I were there for one of the craziest moments in media that someone could actually do that.

04:02:54.000 They would lay down garbage bags on the ground.

04:02:56.000 Yeah.

04:02:57.000 So they're like hefty bags everywhere.

04:02:59.000 They waterproof the ground.

04:03:01.000 And then they set up this garbage bag.

04:03:04.000 They knew it was going to happen.

04:03:04.000 And then I said it almost as a goof.

04:03:07.000 I said, why don't you have Pat Duffy lean back, put his head over the dumpster, and Pat from Wunaki throws up in his mouth.

04:03:13.000 And they're like, no way. 0.99

04:03:14.000 He's like, I'll fucking do it. 0.99

04:03:15.000 We're like, no. 0.98

04:03:16.000 This is definitely the origin of Legion of Skeks. 1.00

04:03:19.000 That kind of shit. 0.99

04:03:20.000 Well, the ONA vibe went through all of New York. 1.00

04:03:25.000 It was a fun vibe.

04:03:27.000 It was a fun vibe. 0.99

04:03:27.000 You were stuck in traffic, and you were listening to these guys telling people to climb face-first into dumpsters and shit. 0.99

04:03:33.000 It was something. 1.00

04:03:34.000 They were crazy. 0.97

04:03:35.000 They were crazy and they were doing something that was different and they would bring comics on and we would just hang. 0.93

04:03:40.000 And that's how we all got started.

04:03:43.000 Yeah.

04:03:43.000 It's a good metaphor for comedy, too, because they had some misses.

04:03:46.000 They had a few homeless things that were weird. 0.98

04:03:49.000 They did a lot of wild shit, and they got canceled, too. 0.98

04:03:52.000 They were one of the first people to get canceled. 0.99

04:03:53.000 They got kicked off the air because they had a homeless guy come on and say that he wanted to rape Condoleezza Rice.

04:03:58.000 Ah, that's not so bad.

04:04:00.000 I mean, they didn't even know what he was going to say. 0.67

04:04:01.000 They got a crazy guy on there. 1.00

04:04:03.000 Also, fuck it in a cathedral. 1.00

04:04:05.000 That was a nice one. 1.00

04:04:06.000 That's right.

04:04:08.000 And I wrote a blog post about that before I ever even did.

04:04:11.000 You're a blogger?

04:04:13.000 Rogan blog.

04:04:14.000 What?

04:04:14.000 Yeah.

04:04:15.000 I wrote a blog defending them.

04:04:17.000 This is the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life. 0.88

04:04:20.000 If you think about all the terrible things that have happened in churches, particularly Catholic churches, and these two people decide to have consensual sex, you want to get mad at people for that sacrilege? 1.00

04:04:32.000 What about the sacrilege of fucking kids? 1.00

04:04:34.000 What are you talking about? 1.00

04:04:36.000 Of all the people that should shut the fuck up, that's number one. 0.99

04:04:39.000 Good point. 0.99

04:04:40.000 Especially back then, before the internet, before these documentaries where people didn't know the extent of sexual abuse.

04:04:47.000 But also... 0.99

04:04:48.000 Very funny to make people fuck in a giant old cathedral. 1.00

04:04:53.000 And they're like loud fucking the entrance, follow them around. 0.99

04:04:56.000 Bro, you don't think that you would do that if you were 23 years old? 0.99

04:04:59.000 100%.

04:05:01.000 Could you perform? 0.99

04:05:02.000 Your girlfriend's like, yeah, let's fucking do it. 1.00

04:05:04.000 She wants to do it. 1.00

04:05:05.000 Lewis Black got arrested.

04:05:06.000 Jim Norton got arrested.

04:05:07.000 For what? 1.00

04:05:08.000 They went on a party bus where the women showed their tits and they got arrested. 1.00

04:05:12.000 They got arrested for that? 0.99

04:05:14.000 That's how Norton got hired.

04:05:16.000 We were that far away from the prohibition.

04:05:19.000 It just happened.

04:05:21.000 It just happened a hundred years ago.

04:05:23.000 I mean, how long ago is Lenny Bruce?

04:05:25.000 As soon as they're off stage, it's like, come on, you know what, we're going to jail.

04:05:27.000 Fifteen busted on risque radio bus.

04:05:30.000 There you go.

04:05:30.000 Fifteen people were arrested yesterday aboard a raunchy rolling radio promotion bus after its topless female passengers drew crowds and stalled traffic, cops said.

04:05:41.000 The bus, which was promoting radio bad boys, Opie and Anthony, veered onto a midtown street, cleared for a presidential motorcade, but that wasn't the reason given for the arrest.

04:05:53.000 It was creating a crowd condition, a police source said.

04:05:57.000 They were flashing everybody.

04:06:00.000 So was that when they were doing Flash Friday or W.O.W.? Yeah, Louis Black and Jim Norton.

04:06:08.000 Busted.

04:06:08.000 And Norton, they hired him after that.

04:06:10.000 What a fun thing to get arrested.

04:06:11.000 Oh, really?

04:06:11.000 That's how he got on the show.

04:06:13.000 Wow, good origin story.

04:06:15.000 That's amazing.

04:06:16.000 What year was that?

04:06:17.000 2000. Comedy was fun at one point.

04:06:19.000 It was fun.

04:06:20.000 It's still fun.

04:06:21.000 Yeah, you're right.

04:06:22.000 It's still very fun.

04:06:23.000 Ari, you have a quote that I tell the people all the time.

04:06:26.000 I said, Ari says, comedy's finally dangerous again.

04:06:29.000 It's the best.

04:06:30.000 Those people leave angry, and now they report us.

04:06:32.000 It's like, we're not having a good time.

04:06:33.000 We're not having a good time.

04:06:34.000 Yeah, it's just weird to report.

04:06:36.000 That's what I don't get.

04:06:37.000 Like, look, we've all seen a thing.

04:06:38.000 We go, oh, that's offensive.

04:06:39.000 That hurt my feelings.

04:06:41.000 But why would you write about it or report it?

04:06:43.000 It's fascinating.

04:06:44.000 It's reading it that's the problem.

04:06:46.000 There's three sides to it.

04:06:48.000 I shouldn't do that.

04:06:48.000 You think a joke is funny, you think a joke is joel funny, and then you're angry.

04:06:53.000 Like, who's going to be on that side?

04:06:55.000 What's up, Eric?

04:06:56.000 He loves that dog!

04:06:58.000 It's only you like your girlfriend that much.

04:07:01.000 But some people think they have a right to be angry, so they use it to be angry.

04:07:05.000 There's recreational outrage.

04:07:07.000 And now there's kooks who get behind them and go, yeah, I'm angry too!

04:07:10.000 Yeah, and there's a lot of people out there.

04:07:12.000 The thing is, it's like we're realizing that everybody's connected now, and it's starting to grow in its understanding of what's possible.

04:07:18.000 And it got a little away from us, I think. 0.99

04:07:21.000 It got away from the woke shit. 0.99

04:07:22.000 I mean, it changed media. 0.99

04:07:24.000 A lot of people got scared because they don't like the bad reaction to people that disagree with them, so they just go with this mind virus. 1.00

04:07:31.000 It's like really smart people that fucking read the comments all the time and it fucks with their head. 0.99

04:07:35.000 You think that's reality. 1.00

04:07:36.000 It's just like, get off.

04:07:37.000 There's too many people, man.

04:07:38.000 You're interacting with too many people in a non-human way. 1.00

04:07:41.000 You're interacting with too many people in text form.

04:07:44.000 That's not good for your health.

04:07:45.000 It's just not good for your health.

04:07:46.000 It's not good in any way.

04:07:48.000 Especially on Twitter, it's only negative.

04:07:50.000 It's only negative.

04:07:50.000 They're like, look at this art piece.

04:07:52.000 What is hard to come by?

04:07:53.000 I heard Hans Kim's been reading the Reddit.

04:07:55.000 Get off the Reddit, Hans Kim. 1.00

04:07:57.000 Don't read that shit. 1.00

04:07:58.000 Don't do it. 1.00

04:07:59.000 I didn't mean what I wrote.

04:08:00.000 Talented people, like, you know, that can derail you. 0.99

04:08:04.000 Yeah, but what about these weirdos with the art installations where they throw soup on a fucking painting? 1.00

04:08:10.000 It's so fucking pompous. 1.00

04:08:12.000 It's kooky! 1.00

04:08:12.000 For the environment, you're just going to destroy something beautiful? 1.00

04:08:15.000 Yeah, go help the environment! 1.00

04:08:16.000 You fucking dork Gen Z dorks. 1.00

04:08:19.000 You see what happened with the dummies in Germany? 1.00

04:08:20.000 They glued their hand on this thing, and they didn't know the thing was portable, so they just picked the thing up and took them into the back.

04:08:25.000 No.

04:08:26.000 Yeah, they glued their hand on a railing. 1.00

04:08:28.000 These fucking dummies. 1.00

04:08:29.000 They didn't know the railing wasn't bolted to the floor. 1.00

04:08:30.000 They just want attention.

04:08:31.000 They're just looking for attention.

04:08:32.000 Sure. 1.00

04:08:32.000 It's so dumb. 1.00

04:08:33.000 I don't care about their cars. 1.00

04:08:34.000 They glue themselves to the wall. 1.00

04:08:36.000 Do a backflip with shit. 1.00

04:08:38.000 Do you see what the Porsche people did? 1.00

04:08:39.000 Yeah.

04:08:39.000 Shut the lights off.

04:08:40.000 Left them in there. 1.00

04:08:41.000 Fuck you. 1.00

04:08:42.000 Good. 1.00

04:08:42.000 Go shit yourself. 1.00

04:08:43.000 They let them shit themselves. 1.00

04:08:44.000 They didn't even call the cops. 1.00

04:08:46.000 They're like, ah, fuck. 1.00

04:08:47.000 Those guys are glued to the floor. 1.00

04:08:48.000 Like, ah, we'll show them, bro. 0.99

04:08:50.000 We're gonna fucking stop this climate. 0.99

04:08:52.000 This climate is a pro climate change. 0.98

04:08:55.000 Make sure you respect the marathon guys. 0.99

04:08:57.000 At least they shit themselves earning something. 0.98

04:09:00.000 These are the same people who interrupted Bernie Sanders. 1.00

04:09:02.000 They do believe it.

04:09:03.000 A lot of people believe if you don't stop climate change right now, we're all gonna die.

04:09:08.000 It's possibly true.

04:09:09.000 What's his face?

04:09:10.000 PBT. No.

04:09:12.000 Pat Betrick, Dave?

04:09:13.000 Yes!

04:09:14.000 Whoa! 0.71

04:09:15.000 You got me.

04:09:16.000 He had one of them on.

04:09:18.000 They called in.

04:09:19.000 Really?

04:09:20.000 The ladies.

04:09:21.000 They called in.

04:09:21.000 The ladies who did the...

04:09:23.000 No, really?

04:09:24.000 What did they say?

04:09:25.000 It's the most important thing.

04:09:26.000 Well, first of all, their pronouns were he, she, they.

04:09:32.000 He, she, they.

04:09:33.000 Yeah, everything.

04:09:34.000 Everything.

04:09:34.000 That's not bad.

04:09:35.000 That is cool.

04:09:37.000 Way to rule.

04:09:38.000 She's a demigod.

04:09:39.000 That's like getting double O in basketball as your number.

04:09:41.000 You know how crazy that is?

04:09:42.000 He, she, they.

04:09:43.000 Okay.

04:09:43.000 Call me everything.

04:09:44.000 So there's that.

04:09:45.000 Anyway, I have an opinion on...

04:09:46.000 Hey, my pronoun is God.

04:09:48.000 Yeah, I invented everything.

04:09:50.000 There's that.

04:09:51.000 I hate to be that guy.

04:09:53.000 Yeah, but they called in and they were like, well, we're just trying to save the world, you know?

04:09:56.000 Like, these people are evil.

04:09:57.000 And you're like, I know, but you didn't do anything.

04:09:59.000 You didn't do anything.

04:10:00.000 They did, though, because they're talking to people.

04:10:03.000 Yeah, well, so are school shooters.

04:10:05.000 They're on the news, too.

04:10:07.000 That's a very good point.

04:10:09.000 Those guys are making noise. 1.00

04:10:13.000 Those guys are making a lot of fucking noise. 0.99

04:10:16.000 That Bill Hicks quote is gold. 0.99

04:10:17.000 I love when a comedy club has a thing on the door.

04:10:20.000 There's a club.

04:10:20.000 I can't think of the name of it.

04:10:21.000 But it says, you'll think of something right on the way out.

04:10:24.000 And that really helped me.

04:10:26.000 And I bombed.

04:10:29.000 But it's nice!

04:10:31.000 Follow the Fear is another one, a Del Close thing.

04:10:34.000 Who said that?

04:10:35.000 Del Close.

04:10:36.000 The Improv Guru.

04:10:38.000 Follow the Fear.

04:10:39.000 You know when you're kind of in a thing and you're like, I'm freaking out, I'm bombing, I'm flustered, and then you come out of it and it's a great moment?

04:10:46.000 Yeah.

04:10:46.000 That's great.

04:10:48.000 At the green room, at the mothership, it's going to say, get it together, bitch. 1.00

04:10:53.000 Nice. 1.00

04:10:54.000 Because that's what Joey Diaz used to say to me.

04:10:56.000 Oh, really? 1.00

04:10:57.000 He used to say to me right before I go on stage, like, get it together, bitch. 1.00

04:11:00.000 You know, just go on stage laughing. 0.99

04:11:02.000 I had to follow him during Burt's thing.

04:11:05.000 Oh, man.

04:11:05.000 He's the best.

04:11:06.000 He was great. 1.00

04:11:06.000 Every time he would get off stage, he'd be like, fuck. 1.00

04:11:08.000 Show them Philly-style motherfuckers. 1.00

04:11:10.000 He's so positive and fun. 0.99

04:11:12.000 He makes you laugh.

04:11:14.000 He's like a community guy.

04:11:15.000 He's all about community.

04:11:17.000 Joey calls you up to check in on you.

04:11:19.000 Two-minute talks.

04:11:19.000 Like, anybody I'm with, they're like, I gotta take this.

04:11:21.000 It'll be a minute. 0.99

04:11:22.000 What's up, cocksucker? 1.00

04:11:22.000 What are you doing, cocksucker? 1.00

04:11:23.000 What the fuck you doing down there in Austin? 1.00

04:11:25.000 I miss you, motherfucker. 1.00

04:11:27.000 He just checks up on you. 1.00

04:11:29.000 You check up on him.

04:11:30.000 He's a lovely person.

04:11:33.000 A great guy.

04:11:33.000 And the fact that he thought he could sleep in a bunk on a bus, that didn't last ten minutes.

04:11:38.000 Did we talk about this last time?

04:11:38.000 That's hilarious.

04:11:39.000 What kind of thunderous snoring and farting? 1.00

04:11:44.000 Fucking Big J, Joey Diaz. 1.00

04:11:46.000 So many people in that bus farting and snoring. 1.00

04:11:49.000 What is that like?

04:11:51.000 And Burt took a bunk!

04:11:52.000 It was literally, if you thought of the worst people to sleep in a bus with.

04:11:57.000 Burt's like, I want to be a man of the people. 1.00

04:11:59.000 I'm like, get in the back of the bus, bitch. 1.00

04:12:01.000 The apnea tour. 1.00

04:12:02.000 Get your fucking spot. 1.00

04:12:03.000 It was fully the apnea tour. 1.00

04:12:05.000 Yeah, it was.

04:12:06.000 How could it make it?

04:12:07.000 Sponsored by trouble breathing.

04:12:09.000 Is that a fun way to do it?

04:12:11.000 A lot of guys were like, stop the bus.

04:12:12.000 Is that a fun way to do it?

04:12:13.000 It was fun.

04:12:14.000 We watch movies every night.

04:12:16.000 Is it better to do it in a bus, you think?

04:12:18.000 Yes.

04:12:19.000 I'm going to try next year.

04:12:21.000 It wears on you with all those guys.

04:12:23.000 But we had a blast. 0.97

04:12:26.000 The way people talk about, Sturgill talks about buses, people talk about buses like, man, it's a fucking great time. 0.84

04:12:32.000 It's like a constant party. 0.78

04:12:33.000 I think it's the best time of your life.

04:12:34.000 Well, we watched Apocalypto.

04:12:36.000 Is it really?

04:12:36.000 We watched Apocalypto back.

04:12:38.000 Just have fun hanging with comics every single day.

04:12:41.000 I can't have a bus, I got a family.

04:12:43.000 What?

04:12:43.000 The problem is, like, the weekends as well I do.

04:12:46.000 I go out at night, like, in Austin, but, like, I'm a weekends guy.

04:12:50.000 And I know what I want to do every weekend.

04:12:51.000 When you got a bus, you're committed to going 1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 12. You were always that way, though.

04:12:55.000 You were always that way.

04:12:56.000 Even at the store back before you were really going.

04:12:58.000 You were, like, Friday, Saturday coming in.

04:12:59.000 Yeah.

04:13:00.000 I balance myself out.

04:13:02.000 I'll do spots during the week for sure, always.

04:13:05.000 But it's like going somewhere to perform on the weekend.

04:13:09.000 I don't do it that many weekends.

04:13:11.000 Because it's just like, you could crack.

04:13:13.000 It would be fun with five other comics, though.

04:13:16.000 And it's fun when you crack a little bit.

04:13:18.000 You know, you're like, let's go down to Tijuana.

04:13:20.000 We're in San Diego.

04:13:22.000 Let's get some sweaters and fentanyl.

04:13:26.000 These wild chiclets.

04:13:27.000 Yeah.

04:13:28.000 I mean, Joey was fun.

04:13:30.000 Bert was fun.

04:13:31.000 I was jealous, for real.

04:13:32.000 You guys all hang out like that.

04:13:34.000 I was for real jealous.

04:13:35.000 That sounded great.

04:13:36.000 It's such a great idea, too, to do it in those baseball parks.

04:13:39.000 Yeah.

04:13:40.000 Bert's so good at thinking up ideas.

04:13:42.000 He came up with a driving movie idea.

04:13:44.000 He's still alive.

04:13:45.000 It's great.

04:13:46.000 He's not drinking.

04:13:47.000 That's great.

04:13:48.000 Do you know Sober October basically knocked him down 90% of his drinking?

04:13:52.000 Okay, Joe.

04:13:53.000 He tells me.

04:13:53.000 I bet he does.

04:13:56.000 He's a yarn spinner.

04:13:59.000 So you don't think he's drinking?

04:14:00.000 I think he's drinking.

04:14:01.000 This is what he always does.

04:14:02.000 He goes, I haven't even drank today.

04:14:03.000 And then Tom will be like, what about those three drinks at lunch?

04:14:05.000 He goes, oh yeah, those, fine.

04:14:07.000 That's true.

04:14:08.000 He tells his version what he's thinking of.

04:14:10.000 He drank.

04:14:11.000 It's Burt Kreischer.

04:14:12.000 You think he just suddenly stopped drinking?

04:14:13.000 If he did, he would still be just as funny and we'd have him longer.

04:14:16.000 True.

04:14:17.000 My worry is that he's taking, you know, he takes medication and talks about it. 1.00

04:14:23.000 It's like, that shit's dangerous. 1.00

04:14:24.000 That scares the shit out of me. 1.00

04:14:25.000 While you're drinking and... 0.97

04:14:27.000 He looks great.

04:14:28.000 What are you talking about?

04:14:29.000 Yeah.

04:14:29.000 He's killing it.

04:14:31.000 I'll tell you what, though.

04:14:31.000 He's the Jimmy Buffett of comedy.

04:14:33.000 The dude is an animal.

04:14:34.000 He's the best. 0.83

04:14:34.000 He can put it away. 0.83

04:14:35.000 Great guy.

04:14:36.000 Great egg.

04:14:36.000 He's so much fun hanging out with.

04:14:37.000 He helps young comics, too.

04:14:39.000 He helps.

04:14:39.000 He does.

04:14:40.000 Definitely does. 1.00

04:14:40.000 Damn. 1.00

04:14:41.000 Is there a better guy? 1.00

04:14:42.000 Than Burt?

04:14:42.000 Maybe.

04:14:43.000 He's in top five.

04:14:44.000 There's levels of guys.

04:14:45.000 There's no better.

04:14:46.000 I mean, Martin Luther King hated Gages.

04:14:48.000 Martin Luther King, Burt Kreischer.

04:14:50.000 Who else?

04:14:51.000 He's a good dude.

04:14:52.000 He's such a good dude that after we did that Sober October podcast, I called him up.

04:14:56.000 I'm like, hey man, you seem worried about stuff that's not important.

04:14:59.000 I'm like, you're killing it. 1.00

04:15:00.000 Why are you freaking out about, like, stupid shit? 1.00

04:15:03.000 Like, he's like, this person's taking advantage of and this and that. 1.00

04:15:06.000 And I'm like, dude, you're the fucking man right now. 1.00

04:15:08.000 You're killing it. 1.00

04:15:09.000 You're doing arenas. 1.00

04:15:10.000 You should ride this bitch. 1.00

04:15:11.000 Ride this bitch like it's a giant white rhino. 1.00

04:15:14.000 And you've got the reins. 1.00

04:15:15.000 Yeah.

04:15:16.000 This is his moment. 0.99

04:15:17.000 You can't be getting upset about trivial shit. 0.97

04:15:21.000 Dude, we invited him to Norman's bachelor party, and I was like, he's probably too busy, but just invite him. 0.98

04:15:27.000 And he goes, oh, while I'm coming, matching outfits for everybody.

04:15:30.000 He's just like, this is my scene.

04:15:32.000 Yeah, he took over, and it was fun.

04:15:34.000 He's an animal.

04:15:35.000 I'm glad we do Sober October just to give him a shot. 0.88

04:15:39.000 Give him a shot. 0.79

04:15:41.000 Just resetting.

04:15:43.000 Well, he's the shirtless drunk guy, but people don't give him his due for how innovative he is.

04:15:48.000 Well, we were talking about when he came up with the drive-in thing.

04:15:50.000 He came up with this baseball arena thing.

04:15:52.000 It's just like he's a great marketer.

04:15:54.000 The way he puts together those promos are hilarious.

04:15:56.000 He came up with promo content in one.

04:15:58.000 Blurred.

04:15:59.000 And he takes his shirt off, and it's the loudest pop that anyone's ever heard in all of comedy.

04:16:03.000 If only he knew his kids' names.

04:16:05.000 When he did it at the Vulcan. 1.00

04:16:07.000 When he did it at the Vulcan the other night, we were like, what the fuck, man? 0.99

04:16:10.000 Oh, he was here? 0.99

04:16:12.000 Yeah.

04:16:13.000 He takes his shirt off with me.

04:16:14.000 I would love to see a collage of videos of him going home shirtless.

04:16:20.000 His skin bio must be so healthy.

04:16:22.000 He comes in contact with so many other people.

04:16:25.000 It was cute to see...

04:16:26.000 Sorry. 0.96

04:16:27.000 No, I'm just saying so many fat guys like slobbering with their sweaty body on top of his sweaty body. 0.54

04:16:31.000 Taking photos because they all take their shirts off for photos.

04:16:34.000 They love it. 1.00

04:16:35.000 Man, that tour was the fucking shit. 1.00

04:16:38.000 We had a great time. 1.00

04:16:40.000 By the way, the mushrooms haven't gone away.

04:16:42.000 I went and took a piss.

04:16:44.000 We have hours.

04:16:45.000 They were still right there.

04:16:46.000 We gotta get some food in us.

04:16:48.000 We should get some food in us.

04:16:49.000 Yeah, we can talk about it because you weren't invited to the tour.

04:16:54.000 Just walking on the baseball field at night. 0.99

04:16:57.000 You get down to the set and then you're walking back to the fucking... 1.00

04:17:01.000 Locker room to get a beer. 0.99

04:17:02.000 Yeah.

04:17:03.000 You're literally walking in the outfield during the summer night.

04:17:06.000 Look at that dog, bro.

04:17:07.000 Look at that dog. 0.85

04:17:07.000 He loves him. 0.85

04:17:09.000 She fucking loves him. 1.00

04:17:11.000 That's a girl, bro. 1.00

04:17:12.000 Is it a girl?

04:17:13.000 She, yeah.

04:17:14.000 That's a girl.

04:17:14.000 He calls her a boy.

04:17:15.000 He's crazy. 0.96

04:17:16.000 Oh, he whimpered. 0.99

04:17:18.000 Are you sure? 1.00

04:17:18.000 There's a dick there. 1.00

04:17:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

04:17:20.000 Look at that dog. 0.85

04:17:21.000 Loves him.

04:17:21.000 Oh, there you go, J-Mo.

04:17:22.000 That is like a deep love.

04:17:24.000 And it's not anti-Semitic.

04:17:26.000 It's crazy, because I thought that was because she was a rescue dog.

04:17:29.000 No, that's just Ari. 1.00

04:17:31.000 Well, he takes that thing to Guatemala and shit. 0.99

04:17:34.000 I've rarely seen a dog that attached to a person. 0.99

04:17:37.000 It's really interesting.

04:17:38.000 It's so cool seeing Ari with a dog, too.

04:17:40.000 He needed something.

04:17:41.000 Oh, my God.

04:17:42.000 Well, he was bombing so much, you know.

04:17:46.000 He's different now.

04:17:48.000 He is.

04:17:48.000 He's back, baby.

04:17:49.000 Did you hear that pop when he went on stage last night?

04:17:51.000 That was inspiring.

04:17:52.000 Well, we saw him.

04:17:53.000 We saw him doing it.

04:17:55.000 We watched him build that hour.

04:17:57.000 It was like, it is good.

04:17:59.000 It's good.

04:18:00.000 It's funny.

04:18:00.000 It's good.

04:18:01.000 I saw him every night at the stand in the cellar.

04:18:03.000 We would watch him do it every night.

04:18:04.000 We'd be like, dude, Ari's good.

04:18:05.000 This is good.

04:18:07.000 It's gonna be good. 0.99

04:18:07.000 You know, that's a set that he had prepared before all that shit happened with him. 0.99

04:18:11.000 And then he abandoned it, wrote a whole new hour, and then we talked him into doing it again. 0.75

04:18:17.000 I was like, dude, you can't not do that set.

04:18:19.000 That set's so good.

04:18:20.000 What are you doing with it?

04:18:21.000 And he's like, I don't know.

04:18:22.000 Maybe.

04:18:24.000 Maybe I'll go back to it.

04:18:25.000 I go, dude, you've got to go back to it.

04:18:27.000 Go back to it.

04:18:27.000 Pick it up.

04:18:28.000 Do it again.

04:18:29.000 It's already done.

04:18:30.000 The time helped him, though.

04:18:31.000 Adding that extra time really polished it.

04:18:33.000 The time helps, man.

04:18:34.000 It really does.

04:18:34.000 It does.

04:18:35.000 Like we were talking about those Kinnison specials.

04:18:37.000 They're back-to-back year after year.

04:18:39.000 You can't do that, man.

04:18:40.000 It's a kiss of death.

04:18:41.000 And you know, he was one of the first guys to realize that, because he went on tour after he did HBO, and apparently he was trying to do some of the same bits. 0.99

04:18:48.000 And people knew the bits, and they were yelling out punchlines and shit.

04:18:51.000 It was like, oh my god, I have to write all new bits. 0.97

04:18:54.000 I think Louis fucked that up.

04:18:56.000 Like, Louis can do it because he's one of the best, but a lot of people thought, oh, I'll do an hour a year, whatever. 0.50

04:19:01.000 It's like, no, they need to marinate!

04:19:03.000 They need to marinate. 0.97

04:19:04.000 There's no rush.

04:19:05.000 It's like you're making a mountain out of layers of paint.

04:19:08.000 Yeah.

04:19:09.000 Takes a little time.

04:19:10.000 Sometimes it doesn't.

04:19:12.000 Alright? 0.99

04:19:12.000 Sometimes bits are just fucking... 0.99

04:19:13.000 Sometimes bits come. 0.99

04:19:14.000 But sometimes you're like, a year later, you're like, oh, that's a better ending.

04:19:16.000 Yes!

04:19:17.000 All the time. 1.00

04:19:18.000 You're like, fuck, I already recorded it. 1.00

04:19:20.000 All the time. 1.00

04:19:21.000 Oh, that hurts. 0.99

04:19:21.000 That sucks. 0.99

04:19:22.000 After you've fucking recorded something, you have the best tagline ever, and you're like, ugh. 1.00

04:19:26.000 So it's easier to just stop doing it. 0.99

04:19:28.000 You record, it's done.

04:19:28.000 You'll just torture yourself.

04:19:30.000 Yeah, but you have to bridge the gap if you're doing shows, right?

04:19:33.000 If your special's coming out in a few months and you have to do shows, you know as well as I do, you don't have a real hour after you film.

04:19:41.000 You have 15 minutes if you're lucky within the first month or so.

04:19:45.000 Sure.

04:19:46.000 It's a grind.

04:19:46.000 Lucky.

04:19:47.000 I was talking to Schultz about it, same thing.

04:19:48.000 It's a grind.

04:19:49.000 It's so fun, though.

04:19:51.000 Dude, no way the show happens tonight.

04:19:53.000 The show's happening.

04:19:54.000 It already didn't happen. 1.00

04:19:55.000 You pussies. 1.00

04:19:56.000 I called it a bomb threat. 1.00

04:19:58.000 You pussies. 1.00

04:19:59.000 I said, I'm coming, baby. 1.00

04:20:01.000 And they said, shut it down.

04:20:02.000 Chuck me one of those.

04:20:03.000 I'm going to give it try number five. 0.98

04:20:04.000 I'm definitely going to bomb it.

04:20:06.000 Didn't TJ did a bomb threat?

04:20:09.000 Yeah, he did.

04:20:10.000 That kind of guy, he got in trouble for that one.

04:20:12.000 He apparently had a legitimate brain issue.

04:20:14.000 He's the man.

04:20:15.000 Nice guy. 1.00

04:20:17.000 Just rip that fucking thing. 1.00

04:20:18.000 Funny guy. 1.00

04:20:19.000 He's the man.

04:20:20.000 Talented guy.

04:20:21.000 TJ's the man.

04:20:22.000 Yeah.

04:20:22.000 He left like a real show.

04:20:24.000 He goes, I'm done with this.

04:20:26.000 Yeah!

04:20:26.000 Silicon Valley.

04:20:27.000 Yeah, and they're like, what are you doing?

04:20:28.000 You're making money.

04:20:28.000 He goes, it's done.

04:20:29.000 This is stupid. 1.00

04:20:30.000 I don't want to do this anymore. 1.00

04:20:30.000 Great, bro. 1.00

04:20:31.000 No one can riff like that.

04:20:32.000 Like, I mean, we talk about...

04:20:34.000 Top ever in the world, maybe.

04:20:35.000 Tim's up there.

04:20:36.000 No, but on stage like that.

04:20:38.000 Tim's like ranting. 0.99

04:20:38.000 Dude, TJ will go on fucking obliterated and just... 0.99

04:20:41.000 With nothing. 1.00

04:20:42.000 Kill. 1.00

04:20:43.000 Empty holsters and just kill for like as long as he wants to. 1.00

04:20:45.000 No one can... 0.98

04:20:46.000 Wow.

04:20:46.000 Yeah.

04:20:47.000 I won't be able to go on stage tonight with rehearsed material.

04:20:50.000 Yeah.

04:20:51.000 I'm struggling.

04:20:52.000 Yeah, it's interesting how people, like, there's certain times where people accept mental illness.

04:20:59.000 He's channeled it.

04:21:00.000 We only accept mental illness up to a certain extent.

04:21:03.000 And when it's not convenient, we don't accept mental illness.

04:21:07.000 That's true.

04:21:08.000 Kanye.

04:21:08.000 Yeah.

04:21:09.000 When it's not convenient, when it's not convenient, we won't accept mental illness. 0.99

04:21:13.000 But when it's convenient, we'll give mental illness every fucking chance it can. 0.99

04:21:18.000 Yeah, it's fun. 0.99

04:21:19.000 It's good art.

04:21:21.000 Yeah. 0.99

04:21:21.000 Wait till you see, again, Kanye's fucking Amazon. 0.99

04:21:24.000 It's on Amazon. 0.99

04:21:26.000 What?

04:21:26.000 Kanye has a special at the LA Coliseum.

04:21:28.000 Not a special.

04:21:28.000 A concert.

04:21:29.000 Him and Drake.

04:21:30.000 It was like the free Larry Hoover thing.

04:21:32.000 It's the best concert.

04:21:34.000 Yeah, he rules.

04:21:35.000 Really?

04:21:35.000 He's the best.

04:21:36.000 Dude, that rules. 0.97

04:21:36.000 Kanye's so fucking good. 0.97

04:21:37.000 It has been for so long. 0.98

04:21:38.000 It's unbelievable how good it is.

04:21:39.000 He's getting wrapped up in all these things that are not what he's best at.

04:21:44.000 You know?

04:21:45.000 These kind of conversations about... 1.00

04:21:48.000 All the shit that's going on. 0.99

04:21:49.000 I mean, think about all the trouble that's caused him. 1.00

04:21:50.000 That's an insane amount of chaos that happened to his life in such a short period of time.

04:21:56.000 Everything fell apart.

04:21:58.000 I mean, the guy was on top of the world. 1.00

04:22:00.000 What the fuck? 0.99

04:22:01.000 That's the LA Coliseum in the background. 1.00

04:22:04.000 Whoa! 0.71

04:22:05.000 Him with the Tron outfit, all this stuff.

04:22:07.000 He puts on a show.

04:22:07.000 Give me some volume, Jamie.

04:22:08.000 Who's Larry Hoover?

04:22:10.000 These are the Gangster Disciples in Chicago.

04:22:15.000 This is a crazy set design.

04:22:17.000 Is that all smoke?

04:22:25.000 Wow.

04:22:29.000 It's fun to watch.

04:22:30.000 The set design is unreal.

04:22:32.000 That guy should get an award.

04:22:34.000 He did.

04:22:35.000 That's great.

04:22:36.000 Probably a Jew. 1.00

04:22:37.000 Probably a Jew. 1.00

04:22:39.000 Every song.

04:22:40.000 Every song's a hit.

04:22:41.000 He's had like 20 years.

04:22:43.000 Whoa! 0.71

04:22:44.000 This is huge!

04:22:50.000 Here's what's funny about it.

04:22:51.000 Look at that set!

04:22:52.000 It's insane! 1.00

04:22:53.000 He's so small compared to that fucking place. 1.00

04:22:56.000 That guy should do stand-up sets. 1.00

04:22:58.000 He's going through like a manic episode and people are like, Kanye, slow down.

04:23:01.000 And then he's like, no, I'm God.

04:23:04.000 I'm in the middle of the LA Coliseum murdering.

04:23:07.000 Wow.

04:23:08.000 But don't you think that some of what people would call mental illness, it allows him to be able to be that dynamic on stage?

04:23:17.000 Yeah, of course.

04:23:18.000 And it's a gift, but it's a gift that has to be managed.

04:23:20.000 He says it's a superpower.

04:23:21.000 He uses it.

04:23:23.000 But that was the thing, like when they drugged him up.

04:23:25.000 Remember when they drugged him up and he got chubby?

04:23:27.000 Oh yeah.

04:23:28.000 There's another one.

04:23:29.000 He had this crazy mountain on the stage.

04:23:31.000 He made it snow inside.

04:23:32.000 Jesus Christ!

04:23:33.000 He made it snow inside.

04:23:34.000 He was in Chicago.

04:23:35.000 He had his mom's house. 1.00

04:23:36.000 That shit was cool. 0.99

04:23:38.000 Bro, before he did the podcast, when Jamie got COVID, unfortunately we had to make things happen quickly and we had to use a set that we had. 0.99

04:23:45.000 He wanted to design his own set.

04:23:47.000 No way!

04:23:48.000 He had illustrations.

04:23:49.000 He wanted to design a set that looked like a womb.

04:23:52.000 And we're going to do it in a warehouse somewhere.

04:23:55.000 And I was like, you down for this, Jamie? 0.98

04:23:56.000 Jamie's like, I mean, I fucking, I guess so. 0.98

04:23:59.000 And then Jamie got COVID. So we had to bring in Red Band, had to fill in for Jamie. 0.99

04:24:04.000 And so I'm like, I go, Kanye, my producer's sick.

04:24:09.000 So we're going to have to do it with a step-in producer who doesn't particularly know the setup as well.

04:24:15.000 He doesn't do it.

04:24:16.000 But let's just do it at the studio.

04:24:17.000 It'll be easier.

04:24:18.000 Okay.

04:24:19.000 And to his credit, he just let it go. 0.99

04:24:22.000 He thought our studio looked like shit, but it did! 1.00

04:24:24.000 The red one kind of looked stupid. 1.00

04:24:26.000 Oh, that was a weird studio. 0.99

04:24:28.000 It was an idea!

04:24:29.000 It didn't work.

04:24:29.000 You know, I thought it looked cool at first, and then after a while I was like, what is this?

04:24:32.000 It's like a toaster.

04:24:33.000 What does this represent? 0.99

04:24:35.000 Infrared fucking weirdo hotbox. 0.99

04:24:38.000 Right. 0.99

04:24:38.000 Hey, you tried it. 0.99

04:24:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

04:24:41.000 Radio Raheem called it the red pill.

04:24:43.000 I was like, that's really...

04:24:44.000 that's been taken.

04:24:45.000 That's got so many negative connotations.

04:24:48.000 I know, I know.

04:24:49.000 Which one's the red pill?

04:24:50.000 Go back to the Matrix?

04:24:51.000 No, that's the one in real life.

04:24:52.000 The red pill's real life.

04:24:53.000 Oh, is that right?

04:24:54.000 Yeah, the blue pill takes you back to the Matrix.

04:24:56.000 Take the red pill means see reality for what it is.

04:24:59.000 There's a black pill now.

04:25:00.000 Yeah, that's death and destruction.

04:25:02.000 The idea is like, you know, like, if you're a person who sees where it's all going.

04:25:06.000 Yeah.

04:25:07.000 That was sick. 1.00

04:25:09.000 Damn. 1.00

04:25:09.000 Is he on fire? 1.00

04:25:10.000 Yeah.

04:25:11.000 He set himself on fire?

04:25:12.000 Jay Leno.

04:25:13.000 Jesus Christ, dude.

04:25:14.000 That was like a rep of his family house or something.

04:25:17.000 How insane is the production that he does?

04:25:18.000 And then they run up on him and douse him. 1.00

04:25:21.000 Holy shit. 0.99

04:25:22.000 And then he goes back and performs. 1.00

04:25:23.000 Look, the guy...

04:25:25.000 He's on such another level.

04:25:27.000 The guy's on another level, man.

04:25:29.000 I mean, that kind of thinking, he wanted to do a podcast in a womb.

04:25:32.000 Can you imagine if Jamie didn't get COVID? If Jamie wasn't hanging out with floozies. 1.00

04:25:36.000 Jamie, what were you doing?

04:25:37.000 In the middle of the pandemic, Jamie got out floozying around.

04:25:42.000 What were you doing, Jamie?

04:25:43.000 Some downtown whiskey joint.

04:25:45.000 You've been in Austin for six weeks.

04:25:47.000 What am I supposed to do?

04:25:47.000 He's out floozying around.

04:25:49.000 That's a good point.

04:25:50.000 Point is, that podcast could have been in a womb.

04:25:53.000 Coxman. 1.00

04:25:55.000 Jamie definitely has a big ass dick. 1.00

04:25:57.000 Oh, I've seen it. 1.00

04:25:58.000 Doesn't taste bad either.

04:26:00.000 Alright, fellas.

04:26:02.000 Alright.

04:26:03.000 Nobody wants to hear it doesn't taste bad.

04:26:05.000 A lot of big hogs in here. 0.99

04:26:06.000 That is annoying when girls go, it tastes so good. 1.00

04:26:08.000 I'm like, it's skin, you kook. 1.00

04:26:10.000 Shit, who says that? 1.00

04:26:11.000 It's skin, you kook. 1.00

04:26:13.000 He smacked her! 1.00

04:26:15.000 Did you see what he did? 0.99

04:26:17.000 It's skin, you kook. 1.00

04:26:19.000 Sucking Norman's dick. 1.00

04:26:22.000 It's skin, you kook. 1.00

04:26:24.000 Don't lie to me.

04:26:26.000 Oh, it tastes so good. 1.00

04:26:28.000 Shut up. 0.99

04:26:28.000 That'd be one of the greatest things someone's ever said. 0.99

04:26:30.000 It's not a blow pop.

04:26:31.000 It's skin, you kook, and then a gentle smack. 0.99

04:26:34.000 Yeah, give it a little raspberry. 1.00

04:26:37.000 Sucking a guy's dick in the 30s. 1.00

04:26:40.000 That's crazy. 1.00

04:26:41.000 Yeah.

04:26:41.000 With a Tommy gun.

04:26:43.000 All right, skim your kook. 1.00

04:26:45.000 Shut up, bitch. 1.00

04:26:46.000 Sucking your dick while she's holding a Tommy gun. 1.00

04:26:49.000 You guys just robbed a bank together. 1.00

04:26:52.000 Imagine what those fucking days must have been like. 1.00

04:26:54.000 When people were just driving around with Tommy guns, robbing banks. 0.99

04:26:57.000 Oh, those are the better days.

04:26:59.000 Bro, people rob banks.

04:27:01.000 Negative time.

04:27:02.000 Bonnie and Clyde.

04:27:02.000 Truly negative experience.

04:27:04.000 They figured out they could just pull guns on people and get a bunch of money and run away.

04:27:08.000 And there was no internet.

04:27:09.000 Yeah, just get away.

04:27:10.000 No fingerprints.

04:27:11.000 No internet.

04:27:12.000 They all got murdered.

04:27:13.000 They did get murdered.

04:27:15.000 They all got shot.

04:27:16.000 They all tried to have a shootout behind a mattress.

04:27:20.000 How many people actually got away with bank robberies, though?

04:27:24.000 That's a good question.

04:27:24.000 By the way, I don't know if it's a great thing to promote here, you can get away, I think if you rob one bank, it's like 70%, you get away with it.

04:27:32.000 Really?

04:27:32.000 It's the guys who go for the rush.

04:27:34.000 Like if you go and get like a makeup specialist to give you a fake nose.

04:27:37.000 I think you can walk into a bank.

04:27:38.000 This is good podcasting.

04:27:41.000 Ski mask.

04:27:41.000 Ski mask, they can't find you.

04:27:42.000 Consequentially, many bank robbers are caught the same day.

04:27:45.000 The clearance rate for bank robberies is among the highest of all crimes at nearly 60%.

04:27:49.000 Oh, that's not great.

04:27:50.000 That's not a good rate.

04:27:51.000 I don't want to promote it.

04:27:52.000 Yeah.

04:27:53.000 But you can walk into a bank with it.

04:27:55.000 The craziest thing is that NASCAR is from bootleggers. 0.91

04:28:00.000 Yep.

04:28:00.000 Isn't that insane?

04:28:01.000 We have a sport.

04:28:02.000 Yeah, it makes sense though. 0.99

04:28:03.000 Made by these guys rush killing it.

04:28:05.000 They wanted to figure out better cars.

04:28:06.000 Cars that could outrun the cops.

04:28:08.000 Yeah.

04:28:09.000 So they hot rodded. 0.81

04:28:10.000 They should make NASCAR guys go drunk. 1.00

04:28:13.000 Dude, the first time I ever did radio in the South, I remember them bringing up NASCAR. I was like, what are you guys talking about?

04:28:18.000 And they're like, you didn't see what Dale did?

04:28:20.000 I go, what are you talking about?

04:28:22.000 And to them, it was just everybody knew.

04:28:25.000 They cared so much more than we cared in the North.

04:28:27.000 All these people were famous.

04:28:29.000 I was realizing, this is pre-internet, there's places where you go, there's people that were famous, you had no idea who they were.

04:28:36.000 You were with me.

04:28:38.000 We went to Charlie Goodnights.

04:28:40.000 In Raleigh, North Carolina.

04:28:41.000 Great club.

04:28:42.000 And then we went to the Honky Tonk bar.

04:28:44.000 Do you remember that?

04:28:46.000 What happened?

04:28:46.000 They let him in?

04:28:47.000 No, nothing bad happened. 0.99

04:28:49.000 We were in the Honky Tonk bar, and we're these fucking dorks from LA. We're these dorks from LA. And this song comes on, and everyone knows the words. 0.99

04:28:59.000 And they're singing along.

04:29:01.000 And if you ask Ari and I whether or not that was a real song, we're like, that's not a real song.

04:29:06.000 Is this a flash mob?

04:29:07.000 What's going on?

04:29:08.000 They all sang along like we were being pranked.

04:29:11.000 And we were like, this is a famous song.

04:29:13.000 And it's not like, I know up and I don't really know it.

04:29:15.000 It's like, I've never heard of it.

04:29:16.000 Have you heard of this?

04:29:17.000 Never heard of the band.

04:29:18.000 Never heard of the song.

04:29:19.000 Because this is like when the internet wasn't really popular yet.

04:29:22.000 It was regional.

04:29:23.000 It was totally regional. 1.00

04:29:24.000 These fucking people all sang along. 1.00

04:29:27.000 They were all dancing and shit. 1.00

04:29:29.000 And we were like, whoa, this is crazy. 0.99

04:29:31.000 We ventured into like a new- Regional was nice.

04:29:33.000 It was kind of nice.

04:29:34.000 I liked Reed.

04:29:35.000 You had a community.

04:29:36.000 Like a bunch of vikings.

04:29:37.000 There was cultures.

04:29:38.000 Yeah.

04:29:39.000 Now it's all the same. 0.98

04:29:41.000 I think that's why I like Boston shit so much, because it's like, ah, Harvard, yeah, and all that, because it's rare now. 0.99

04:29:45.000 Boston, Philly, they still have some culture. 0.99

04:29:47.000 There were scenes, too, like the LA punk scene, the DC punk scene.

04:29:51.000 They had their own vibe.

04:29:52.000 You could tell where somebody came from.

04:29:53.000 Seattle grunge.

04:29:54.000 Yes, that's a good one. 1.00

04:29:56.000 Boy, is that represented by the fucking climate, huh? 1.00

04:29:59.000 Just dour and draining. 1.00

04:30:02.000 That's so true.

04:30:04.000 You're just like, respect women or whatever.

04:30:08.000 Bummer.

04:30:10.000 Suicide rates higher in Seattle. 1.00

04:30:13.000 It's high as fuck. 1.00

04:30:16.000 You gotta get outside, kids. 0.99

04:30:17.000 Get some vitamin D in your system. 1.00

04:30:19.000 Or you can fucking kill yourself. 1.00

04:30:21.000 Why go outside when you can just kill yourself? 1.00

04:30:24.000 Go outside kind of sucks. 1.00

04:30:25.000 You can just fucking kill yourself. 1.00

04:30:26.000 I think the mushrooms are wearing off. 1.00

04:30:30.000 This is goddamn ZinPax. 0.99

04:30:32.000 It's designed by the government. 0.99

04:30:34.000 But yeah, we did that in the Fully Loaded.

04:30:35.000 We did a NASCAR track.

04:30:36.000 Oh, it was great.

04:30:37.000 And the guy took us around in the NASCAR and was like, yeah, he's like, hey, 100,000 people come to this every week.

04:30:42.000 We're like, what?

04:30:42.000 Yeah.

04:30:43.000 People love it.

04:30:43.000 That was the largest college football game.

04:30:45.000 It's a tailgate.

04:30:45.000 Yeah.

04:30:46.000 It's a big tailgate.

04:30:48.000 It's a big tribal thing, too.

04:30:49.000 Everybody gets together.

04:30:50.000 Whee! 1.00

04:30:52.000 Williams Grove.

04:30:53.000 Right by my parents house.

04:30:55.000 Williams Grove.

04:30:56.000 Don't people die there every year? 1.00

04:30:58.000 Yeah, they get hit by tires right in the fucking face. 1.00

04:31:01.000 It's fun to watch on video. 1.00

04:31:03.000 Tires fly off and they just fucking careen into the audience. 0.97

04:31:06.000 Yeah. 0.88

04:31:07.000 They're doing the F1 in Vegas next year.

04:31:09.000 Oh, really?

04:31:10.000 On the strip.

04:31:11.000 Really?

04:31:12.000 On the strip.

04:31:13.000 Is that F1? That's gonna be insane.

04:31:15.000 I don't think people die all the time in NASCAR. No, the one by Shane's house.

04:31:18.000 I'll say this, the ones I went, at Williams Grove, I went to a dude, the car flew out and landed on a guy.

04:31:25.000 Oh my god.

04:31:25.000 That was like two years ago.

04:31:26.000 Nice.

04:31:27.000 Oh my god, you saw that?

04:31:28.000 Driver died, yeah.

04:31:29.000 Really?

04:31:29.000 Jesus Christ.

04:31:30.000 I mean, yeah.

04:31:32.000 You ever see those Le Mans?

04:31:33.000 Those Le Mans in the 60s.

04:31:35.000 Oh, you saw that?

04:31:36.000 You saw a guy get hit with a flying car?

04:31:38.000 I mean, I was in the mob in the middle of the...

04:31:41.000 Yeah.

04:31:41.000 He was pounding a beer.

04:31:42.000 That's like a scene in the movie.

04:31:43.000 That's like a scene in the movie.

04:31:44.000 The flying car coming at you, it pauses and says, let me tell you how I got here.

04:31:50.000 And then the movie starts and it backs up to before the guy dies. 0.99

04:31:54.000 Just some wild ass movie that ends with this guy getting obliterated by the car and at the end of the movie you're like, holy shit. 0.99

04:32:04.000 What a movie. 0.99

04:32:05.000 No wonder you like Chevy Cruze. 0.99

04:32:07.000 That would never fucking fly out and hit you. 0.99

04:32:09.000 Yeah, they're not fast enough to really kill you. 0.99

04:32:11.000 Chevy Cruze?

04:32:12.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

04:32:13.000 You say that now, dude.

04:32:15.000 The Cruze will get you.

04:32:15.000 Bro, you love them.

04:32:17.000 You're committed.

04:32:19.000 Ari, are you going to get a BMW? No.

04:32:23.000 It's a fucking New York, dude. 1.00

04:32:25.000 You can't get anything. 1.00

04:32:25.000 Hold on. 1.00

04:32:26.000 You'll like this.

04:32:27.000 Whoa! 0.71

04:32:28.000 Oh, that's a dude fell out of that.

04:32:30.000 A dude fell out of that.

04:32:32.000 Nope, he's still in it.

04:32:33.000 No, he's still in there.

04:32:34.000 He's done.

04:32:35.000 He's like a ragdoll. 1.00

04:32:36.000 What is that?

04:32:37.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

04:32:39.000 You can literally, you hear this from my parents' house.

04:32:41.000 You can see the lights and hear this.

04:32:42.000 Oh my God.

04:32:43.000 Every summer night I hear the song.

04:32:45.000 The greatest drivers of all time have died driving. 0.92

04:32:48.000 Why don't the Jews make a car? 1.00

04:32:50.000 Good question. 0.87

04:32:51.000 Why don't the Jews make a car? 1.00

04:32:53.000 They don't really make much.

04:32:54.000 Are they in the manufacturing stuff like that?

04:32:56.000 Well, they own whoever makes it.

04:32:58.000 But why isn't a Jew-run car? 0.99

04:33:00.000 Because they're always like, when I grew up, they're like, don't get an Audi, don't get a BMW, don't get a Mercedes. 0.71

04:33:04.000 What is it about those German and European cars that are so goddamn good?

04:33:07.000 They're the best. 0.85

04:33:08.000 German-specific, though.

04:33:09.000 German and Japanese.

04:33:10.000 Bro, Porsche? 0.99

04:33:11.000 Those cars are fucking amazing. 0.99

04:33:14.000 They're perfect. 0.99

04:33:14.000 The new ones, they just keep getting them better and better and better. 0.99

04:33:17.000 And then the new 911 is so good, it's sensational.

04:33:20.000 You drive it, you're like, I can't believe how good they...

04:33:23.000 They keep making the same thing every year better.

04:33:26.000 That's how good the 911 was.

04:33:27.000 911 happened and they're like, we're not changing the name. 0.99

04:33:30.000 We're not changing shit. 0.99

04:33:31.000 Get over it. 0.99

04:33:34.000 They sold a 2001 911. They sold a 2002 911. Bro, I owned a 2002 911. That was like the first nice car.

04:33:44.000 The Bronco went away, but now it's back.

04:33:47.000 Oh, Bronco never went away.

04:33:48.000 It did.

04:33:49.000 They stopped making it for a little bit, right?

04:33:51.000 They did, yeah.

04:33:51.000 Oh, that's right.

04:33:53.000 But I think about the restomods and shit. 0.99

04:33:55.000 People always bought Broncos. 1.00

04:33:56.000 You know who had the dopest Bronco?

04:33:58.000 O.J. Simpson?

04:34:04.000 Didn't Mark Curry have a Bronco? 1.00

04:34:07.000 I think Mark Curry had a Bronco that a fucking tree fell on it. 0.99

04:34:12.000 What? 0.99

04:34:13.000 Mark Curry's a car guy.

04:34:14.000 Curry Underwood.

04:34:15.000 Show the image.

04:34:16.000 Mark Curry's Bronco was a dope, resto-mod Bronco that he had tricked out.

04:34:23.000 And he used to bring it to the Comedy Store.

04:34:27.000 What happened?

04:34:27.000 A tree fell on it?

04:34:28.000 A tree fell on his fucking truck, man. 1.00

04:34:30.000 He got it in 1995 and it got destroyed by fucking nature. 1.00

04:34:34.000 And not only that, he kept it and updated it and tricked it out. 0.98

04:34:39.000 It was nice. 0.99

04:34:40.000 Damn, did he get insurance for a tree? 0.99

04:34:43.000 Not to God, no. 1.00

04:34:44.000 That's how they get out of it.

04:34:46.000 That's what I was going to ask earlier. 0.99

04:34:47.000 Do you think they had to change art insurance now that people are gluing themselves to walls and shit? 0.99

04:34:51.000 Ooh, better insurance, shit like that. 0.99

04:34:53.000 Because they're throwing soup at paintings. 0.99

04:34:55.000 You have to make sure that that painting is fucking protected. 0.99

04:34:57.000 They're not getting fucking soup on our paintings. 0.99

04:34:59.000 What if they don't know any better and they throw something that eats through whatever the protective layer is and actually destroys the painting? 0.98

04:35:06.000 I think it's wild in museums that it's not just behind glass.

04:35:10.000 Crazy.

04:35:10.000 You can just walk up and touch it.

04:35:12.000 Like, every piece. 0.99

04:35:13.000 But they've had that for fucking centuries, and these animals never glued themselves to the walls. 1.00

04:35:18.000 Animals. 1.00

04:35:18.000 People are so crazy. 1.00

04:35:20.000 They're just respectful. 0.98

04:35:20.000 We are going to stop. 0.98

04:35:21.000 She was so posh, too, those girls that were on Patrick, Pet, David.

04:35:25.000 They were so posh.

04:35:26.000 I know. 1.00

04:35:26.000 Do it at the fucking Tonight Show. 1.00

04:35:28.000 Do it at the Today Show. 1.00

04:35:29.000 Yeah.

04:35:30.000 Well, it's called Progresso.

04:35:31.000 Whatever the- Alright.

04:35:33.000 We're talking about them.

04:35:34.000 It does work, though.

04:35:35.000 It does work.

04:35:35.000 I don't see much on the internet that makes me actually angry.

04:35:39.000 That makes me- Like, when I see those fucking dorks throw shit on a painting, it actually makes me angry. 1.00

04:35:44.000 But you're not going to help the environment after. 1.00

04:35:45.000 Me?

04:35:46.000 I'll make some adjustments.

04:35:47.000 It's like, aww.

04:35:48.000 I'll make some adjustments.

04:35:50.000 They aggravate art ensures climate headache.

04:35:53.000 It's a climped.

04:35:54.000 Yeah, they all...

04:35:55.000 Yeah, man, you can't...

04:35:57.000 These people, they just think it's okay to ruin art.

04:35:59.000 They have glass on every painting, though, I think.

04:36:01.000 But what they have...

04:36:02.000 You think those two have ever hooked up?

04:36:03.000 Yeah.

04:36:04.000 Oh, there's some scissoring happening.

04:36:06.000 Maybe. 0.99

04:36:07.000 But the thing is, that's such a dumb thing to attack. 0.99

04:36:11.000 They need another Vietnam. 1.00

04:36:12.000 Why would you attack art? 1.00

04:36:13.000 Why don't you just glue yourself to a fucking... 1.00

04:36:15.000 whatever. 1.00

04:36:16.000 A power station.

04:36:18.000 Would you have them on?

04:36:19.000 Why are you gluing yourself?

04:36:20.000 No.

04:36:21.000 No.

04:36:21.000 I don't want to push that.

04:36:22.000 The kids that did that?

04:36:23.000 Come on, man. 0.97

04:36:23.000 That's silly. 0.97

04:36:24.000 They think they're helping the world. 1.00

04:36:25.000 They would suck. 0.99

04:36:26.000 Their frontal globe is even fully formed. 1.00

04:36:27.000 They can do what we do?

04:36:28.000 Right, fellas?

04:36:29.000 What's the organization they have?

04:36:32.000 They couldn't do anything like this.

04:36:33.000 They couldn't do shrooms and get drunk?

04:36:35.000 Not on this amount of shrooms.

04:36:39.000 Well, they'll be doing OnlyFans soon.

04:36:42.000 What percentage of the population will be on OnlyFans by the time 20, 40-year-olds are gone?

04:36:46.000 I'm waiting for Greta Thunberg. 1.00

04:36:48.000 Why are you such a pussy with weed? 1.00

04:36:49.000 I don't like it. 1.00

04:36:50.000 Bro, if we're doing a show, there's zero chance.

04:36:53.000 You know what I don't like?

04:36:54.000 Cold water, but I get it anywhere. 0.99

04:36:57.000 I don't get it in fucking cold water either. 0.98

04:37:00.000 It's good for you. 0.98

04:37:03.000 That too.

04:37:04.000 I also avoid that.

04:37:05.000 Dude, you should do it.

04:37:06.000 Just do it for like 10 seconds.

04:37:07.000 You get out, you feel amazing.

04:37:09.000 I agree.

04:37:10.000 But weed's not 10 seconds. 0.99

04:37:12.000 Weed's fucking 7 hours and I had a terrible set. 1.00

04:37:16.000 Weed will fuck you up. 1.00

04:37:18.000 On stage. 1.00

04:37:19.000 All these drugs.

04:37:20.000 Do it after you're done with your thing.

04:37:21.000 And it's mental.

04:37:22.000 It hurts your brain.

04:37:24.000 Yeah, man.

04:37:25.000 Do it this way.

04:37:27.000 Makes you sad.

04:37:28.000 You start thinking about the negatives.

04:37:29.000 No, you don't.

04:37:30.000 I do.

04:37:31.000 Yeah.

04:37:31.000 You need a different kind of weed.

04:37:32.000 You just switch up.

04:37:33.000 Whatever you're on, go to the other side.

04:37:34.000 No, I think it affects different people different ways, man.

04:37:37.000 Oh, for sure.

04:37:38.000 Yeah, I like substances.

04:37:39.000 Yeah.

04:37:40.000 I love substances.

04:37:41.000 Clearly.

04:37:41.000 I don't like that one.

04:37:42.000 Yeah.

04:37:43.000 No, I get it.

04:37:43.000 Neither does stand-up.

04:37:45.000 Neither does stand-up.

04:37:46.000 Me and stand-up always used to joke around with each other about that.

04:37:49.000 He's like, just get blackout.

04:37:51.000 Just smoke this.

04:37:52.000 Just blackout drunk.

04:37:53.000 He just doesn't like that feeling like, ah!

04:37:56.000 Which I like.

04:37:57.000 I like that. 0.99

04:37:57.000 Life is fucking crazy. 0.99

04:38:01.000 I like that feeling. 0.99

04:38:02.000 I like that feeling of paranoia and lack of control.

04:38:05.000 What a nightmare.

04:38:06.000 It's fun.

04:38:07.000 The phone rings.

04:38:08.000 I'm freaking out.

04:38:09.000 I like it.

04:38:11.000 Well, you know his house burned down.

04:38:12.000 Did you see that?

04:38:13.000 Yeah.

04:38:13.000 Who?

04:38:14.000 Stan Hope.

04:38:15.000 Stan Hope.

04:38:15.000 Oh, I did see that.

04:38:16.000 That's crazy.

04:38:17.000 What happened?

04:38:17.000 From what?

04:38:18.000 It seems like it was in the ceiling. 0.82

04:38:19.000 What the hell?

04:38:20.000 Was it in the ceiling? 0.81

04:38:21.000 Was it like an electrical fire or something?

04:38:23.000 What are you doing, J-Bo?

04:38:23.000 The Sabra.

04:38:24.000 That's the Jewish car? 1.00

04:38:25.000 I was like, Sabra's the Jewish word. 0.97

04:38:27.000 The Sabra, that's pretty fucking badass. 1.00

04:38:30.000 I would get that. 0.97

04:38:31.000 It's all nose.

04:38:31.000 I stole the Porsche.

04:38:32.000 Not really.

04:38:33.000 It's a hunker.

04:38:36.000 That's one where you have a monkey driving it, and you're in the back.

04:38:39.000 That's actually a cool-looking car.

04:38:40.000 That is kind of cool.

04:38:42.000 I changed my mind.

04:38:43.000 That's a cool-looking car.

04:38:44.000 Is there a Star of David on that thing?

04:38:45.000 It's hard to see what a car looks like unless you're standing over it.

04:38:47.000 I bet Leno has that.

04:38:49.000 Photos are always weird.

04:38:50.000 If I was standing next to that car, it'd be so funny.

04:38:53.000 It's not a Mazda, it's a Mazda. 0.99

04:38:56.000 I'll see you all in hell. 0.99

04:39:00.000 Oh, that's cool. 1.00

04:39:00.000 Not bad, dude. 1.00

04:39:01.000 Lady looks like she's having a good time. 1.00

04:39:03.000 I dig it.

04:39:05.000 What?

04:39:06.000 It's nice.

04:39:07.000 She's having fun.

04:39:08.000 It's a little drafty.

04:39:09.000 We let her drive here. 0.96

04:39:10.000 Only part of the region.

04:39:12.000 Look at my hood scoop.

04:39:14.000 Look at the hood scoop.

04:39:15.000 Functional hood scoop?

04:39:16.000 Yes or no?

04:39:17.000 Hood scoop.

04:39:18.000 Matzo.

04:39:18.000 Let's get some food, huh?

04:39:19.000 Matzo Miata.

04:39:20.000 Shall we end this?

04:39:22.000 Wait, what were we talking about?

04:39:23.000 We had something I wanted to pull up.

04:39:25.000 We just talked about it.

04:39:25.000 Fire it up.

04:39:26.000 Fire it up.

04:39:27.000 Fire it up, Jamie.

04:39:28.000 Oh, the house burning down.

04:39:29.000 Oh, yes.

04:39:30.000 Stano's house burning down.

04:39:32.000 It was in the ceiling, right?

04:39:33.000 Jamie's trying to restart the computer.

04:39:34.000 He said he ran in.

04:39:35.000 He didn't know what to grab.

04:39:36.000 Was it in the ceiling with a fire?

04:39:38.000 He grabbed a cigarette.

04:39:38.000 This is the first I'm hearing about it.

04:39:39.000 He grabbed the back of cigarettes.

04:39:41.000 They're literally made for burning.

04:39:48.000 Get the Kittling! 0.85

04:39:49.000 I lived out there for a month. 0.98

04:39:51.000 That house is so fucking funny. 0.96

04:39:54.000 You lived in Seattle for a whole month. 0.97

04:39:55.000 That's right.

04:39:55.000 I forgot about that.

04:39:56.000 It was nuts.

04:39:59.000 Sam came out for like a week.

04:40:00.000 Sam was there too?

04:40:01.000 He's a funny guy.

04:40:02.000 I lived there for...

04:40:03.000 Comic hangs.

04:40:04.000 That's a wild place to live, Shane Gillis.

04:40:07.000 So my house is on fire.

04:40:10.000 He's still drinking.

04:40:33.000 Is that viral?

04:40:35.000 That should be viral.

04:40:37.000 How do you know how many people have watched that?

04:40:39.000 Do you have to have a TikTok account?

04:40:40.000 Is there a number that is viral?

04:40:41.000 35,000.

04:40:42.000 35,000 is viral?

04:40:44.000 No, that's how many views it has.

04:40:45.000 First comic I ever saw live.

04:40:46.000 Stan Hope?

04:40:47.000 Yeah.

04:40:47.000 Stan Hope, so good.

04:40:49.000 Sean Patton opened.

04:40:50.000 It was a hell of a show.

04:40:51.000 Wow. 1.00

04:40:51.000 Damn. 1.00

04:40:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

04:40:52.000 Fun.

04:40:52.000 And I was like, oh, we can do this?

04:40:54.000 He just got drunk and said crazy shit. 1.00

04:40:56.000 Wow. 1.00

04:40:57.000 And it was funny. 0.99

04:40:57.000 Damn. 0.99

04:40:58.000 That's a good show. 0.99

04:40:59.000 When I was a new comic in New York and he would come to New York, it was like an event. 0.99

04:41:03.000 He would rent out, he's like, fuck the clubs, fuck Carolines, I'm going to BB King's or some shit. 0.99

04:41:08.000 Me and Nikki Glaser went to see him one night. 1.00

04:41:09.000 Let's go across town, let's go right now.

04:41:11.000 Yeah.

04:41:11.000 It was wild.

04:41:12.000 Standing room only.

04:41:13.000 Yeah, never use a club.

04:41:16.000 Yeah.

04:41:16.000 Oh, look at that.

04:41:26.000 We're gonna film today, me trying on all the different suits I might wear for New Year's in Vegas.

04:41:32.000 After I thought, what would I take out in a fire? 1.00

04:41:37.000 Fuck, my suits! 1.00

04:41:39.000 My suits! 1.00

04:41:41.000 And then the fire chief If you have a tarp, I'll go cover up as best I can.

04:41:47.000 Jesus.

04:41:49.000 Jesus.

04:41:50.000 Bleak over there.

04:41:53.000 That's not the happy ending from Burning Down the House.

04:41:56.000 We should have ended the podcast right there.

04:41:58.000 We were good. 0.99

04:41:59.000 We got to the reality of a drunk guy walking through his burnt out, fucked up house. 0.99

04:42:05.000 We'll all be there one day. 1.00

04:42:06.000 He's got the norm disease where he wears oversized clothes.

04:42:10.000 Hey, let's look at the comments.

04:42:11.000 Look at that, the like by Shane Gillette.

04:42:15.000 That's my guy.

04:42:16.000 I'm a fan.

04:42:20.000 That's good.

04:42:21.000 Troy Conrad. 0.99

04:42:22.000 Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry. 0.99

04:42:23.000 That's a text. 0.99

04:42:25.000 I'm sorry, Doug.

04:42:27.000 That's great. 0.99

04:42:29.000 I fucking love you. 0.81

04:42:30.000 I hope everything's safe. 0.97

04:42:31.000 Alright, funny guy.

04:42:33.000 Ladies and gentlemen, that brings to a conclusion.

04:42:35.000 Another Protect Our Parks.

04:42:36.000 We have failed to protect parks.

04:42:39.000 Protect Our Parks, Bitcoin, coming next month.

04:42:42.000 Yeah!

04:42:43.000 Let's have our own currency, bright people.

04:42:46.000 Oh wait, we're not going to plug?

04:42:48.000 Let's do quick plugs. 1.00

04:42:49.000 No one's listening.

04:42:50.000 Wow, we got shows, we got websites, we got tickets.

04:42:53.000 Yeah, if you're listening now, plugs is nice. 1.00

04:42:55.000 Plug your shit. 1.00

04:42:56.000 Plug your shit. 1.00

04:42:56.000 What do you got? 1.00

04:42:57.000 Jewface on Comedy Central. 0.96

04:42:58.000 Seattle, the Moors just added.

04:42:59.000 Another show in Vancouver.

04:43:00.000 The Beacon is coming.

04:43:02.000 Website.

04:43:02.000 I'm doing the Beacon.

04:43:03.000 R.A. Shaffir.com.

04:43:04.000 Hell yeah.

04:43:04.000 The Beacon I'm doing in March.

04:43:05.000 You did it.

04:43:07.000 No, I never did it.

04:43:08.000 Look at this.

04:43:09.000 I'm for Seinfeld there.

04:43:10.000 Look at this.

04:43:11.000 Show's added.

04:43:12.000 Look at this.

04:43:13.000 Greatest hits.

04:43:14.000 Look at this.

04:43:15.000 Seattle should be up there now.

04:43:17.000 Mark Norman, your plugs, kind sir.

04:43:21.000 MarkNormanComedy.com.

04:43:22.000 We might be drug Tuesdays with stories.

04:43:24.000 Out to lunch on YouTube. 0.99

04:43:26.000 All the bullshit all over the road. 0.99

04:43:29.000 Patreon. 1.00

04:43:29.000 Check it out. 1.00

04:43:30.000 Queef it up.

04:43:31.000 Praise Allah.

04:43:32.000 Queef it up.

04:43:33.000 That's the same pose he just did.

04:43:34.000 That's the same pose he just did.

04:43:37.000 Go buy Gillian Keeves.

04:43:41.000 Gillian Keeves.

04:43:44.000 Matt and Shane's secret podcast.

04:43:46.000 There you go. 1.00

04:43:46.000 Suck our dicks to all our enemies. 1.00

04:43:48.000 You know what it is, dude. 1.00

04:43:50.000 You can't go wrong.

04:43:56.000 Come on, it's comedy.

04:43:58.000 We're having fun.

04:43:59.000 Brilliant sketches.

04:44:01.000 Alright, you guys.

04:44:02.000 That's it.

04:44:03.000 Bye.

The Joe Rogan Experience - December 07, 2022

Joe Rogan Experience #1907 - Protect Our Parks 6

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