The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #235 - Josh Barnett (Part 2)

00:00:00.000 Ladies and gentlemen, this is an unprecedented occurrence here.

00:00:03.000 Josh Barnett was on his way and not only did he run into ridiculous traffic, but Josh is so gangster he drives a 1969 automobile around and unfortunately got a flat tire. 0.99

00:00:13.000 You drove that bitch all the way up. 1.00

00:00:14.000 Is it working? 1.00

00:00:15.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:00:16.000 You drove that bitch all the way up from Orange County? 1.00

00:00:18.000 You do that on a regular basis? 0.98

00:00:19.000 Yeah, I bought the thing to be a daily driver, you know, and I got kind of tired of how I mean, I don't drive anything passionless, but I just want to drive an old car.

00:00:29.000 I like the simplicity of it.

00:00:31.000 I like the noise.

00:00:32.000 I like the feel of it.

00:00:34.000 Plus, it's not anything super special.

00:00:37.000 It doesn't have a bunch of fancy, modded-out brakes.

00:00:40.000 It's all pretty much old-school technology.

00:00:42.000 I know exactly what I'm dealing with.

00:00:46.000 Stuff brakes, I can fix it.

00:00:48.000 Not a problem.

00:00:49.000 It doesn't bother you that it takes a long time for those things to slow down when you're trying to hit the brakes?

00:00:55.000 You've got to account for that.

00:00:56.000 This is true.

00:00:59.000 I don't know.

00:01:00.000 I'm used to driving old cars all my life, and I've driven a lot worse than this.

00:01:04.000 And I do have a rear disc conversion kit, so it'll be four-wheel disc brakes.

00:01:08.000 It's still going to take way longer to stop than, say, my Challenger.

00:01:11.000 Right.

00:01:12.000 I'm okay with that.

00:01:13.000 Yeah, once you drive a modern version of a muscle car, you're like, oh, why can't you just do this with a better interior?

00:01:18.000 Why can't you do this with, like, an old-school interior?

00:01:21.000 Like, make it like that.

00:01:22.000 I like a car that can start.

00:01:24.000 Like, when you want to start it, it starts.

00:01:27.000 For sure.

00:01:28.000 My cutlass turns right over.

00:01:29.000 Really?

00:01:30.000 every single time.

00:01:30.000 Just, I mean, you're going to go, da-da-da-da-da, Just goes.

00:01:34.000 Just super, super clean.

00:01:35.000 So it runs great.

00:01:36.000 It's 100% reliable.

00:01:38.000 It is 100% reliable, and I'm putting a...

00:01:41.000 Overdrive training in it.

00:01:43.000 I'm doing things here, things there.

00:01:45.000 And it'll be...

00:01:47.000 I just want basically a high 14-second quarter-mile car that you can drive everywhere and never...

00:01:53.000 Yeah, see I can't leave enough alone.

00:01:55.000 It's got a peg leg in it right now, so I gotta put a posi unit in it.

00:01:59.000 That just has to happen.

00:02:00.000 You're like the quintessential boy turned man, metal music, cage fighting, muscle cars. 1.00

00:02:09.000 It's all of the quintessential manly type shit. 0.99

00:02:13.000 If somebody ever asked me, so what are you really good at? 1.00

00:02:16.000 Doing manly shit and making manly faces while I do manly shit. 0.99

00:02:21.000 I can scowl, I can look inquisitive, and I can stare out from the distance, and I can hold a cigar in my mouth, and I can put grease in the right places. 1.00

00:02:29.000 You've got a whole manly repertoire.

00:02:33.000 Which is good because it offsets all the times that I'm wearing panties.

00:02:38.000 It offsets the society, too.

00:02:40.000 It does.

00:02:41.000 The society has a distinct lack of manliness going on.

00:02:43.000 It does. 0.96

00:02:44.000 The boobs are not just on the women anymore. 0.80

00:02:46.000 Yeah. 0.86

00:02:48.000 There's a lot of that.

00:02:49.000 There's a lot of...

00:02:53.000 Men are giving in to what women like because if you don't, you get labeled. 1.00

00:02:58.000 If you like all the shit that you like, you get labeled. 1.00

00:03:01.000 You're a chauvinist. 1.00

00:03:02.000 You're a pig. 1.00

00:03:03.000 There's something wrong with you. 1.00

00:03:04.000 You're a meathead. 0.99

00:03:05.000 You're a metalhead. 0.99

00:03:06.000 You get labeled as being someone undesirable or slightly immature. 0.51

00:03:11.000 I love the fact that...

00:03:13.000 I blame skinny jeans for all that. 0.99

00:03:16.000 Yeah, what the fuck is that? 1.00

00:03:19.000 Skinny jeans are ridiculous. 1.00

00:03:20.000 If you can't sprawl in your pants, then you shouldn't be wearing them. 0.99

00:03:24.000 If you couldn't throw at least a body kick in your pants, you shouldn't be wearing them.

00:03:27.000 You shouldn't be wearing something that you have to struggle to get out of or in. 1.00

00:03:31.000 That shit's ridiculous. 1.00

00:03:31.000 See, maybe those Chuck Norris karate pants, the karate denims with the gusset crotch will come back in. 1.00

00:03:38.000 Dude, they should.

00:03:39.000 Totally.

00:03:40.000 You can roundhouse anybody in the face, no problem.

00:03:43.000 We need to get a true religion version of the Chuck Norris jeans.

00:03:46.000 They need to combine forces.

00:03:48.000 The ultimate club pants that you can throw high kicks with.

00:03:53.000 The ultimate ninja douchebagger.

00:03:56.000 Oh, could you imagine just the commercials of you guys throwing roundhouse kicks? 0.99

00:04:00.000 With their pointy fucking slip-on shoes and their fucking heavily monogrammed glittery shirts. 1.00

00:04:07.000 Bro! 1.00

00:04:08.000 Throwing karate roundhouse kicks.

00:04:10.000 But as far as labels, I... I've been labeled all my life.

00:04:15.000 I was a nerd and a dork and I was an outcast kid, you know, and I liked weird shit like foreign films and gore movies and anime and comic books and would go to the racetrack with my family and classic cars and just all kinds of weird, just fucked up shit where, you know, I'm captain of the football team, but... 0.99

00:04:33.000 Nobody else knows what the fuck, what tip I'm on. 1.00

00:04:36.000 They're just going, dude, you're a weirdo. 0.99

00:04:38.000 But is this, were you always attracted to being into shit that was like away from the crowd, or is that just the stuff that you liked? 0.98

00:04:46.000 Both. 0.97

00:04:47.000 Both. 0.96

00:04:47.000 I mean, I grew up in that weird era where cable came about, and so they would fill the airways full of whatever cheap shit they could get, and that ended up being a lot of weird shit. 0.96

00:04:58.000 A lot of weird shit from Japan, from everywhere, and then I had a fixation with horror movies as a kid, and that went other places. 0.78

00:05:06.000 All of a sudden it's like, Friday the 13th is cool, but I didn't really get to see that head get crushed, so where could I pick that up at? 0.98

00:05:13.000 What movies got that in it?

00:05:16.000 Faces of Death, did you get into all that?

00:05:17.000 Actually, I was more into the Italian Fulci zombie movies and stuff, where they're horrible, and the dubbing is the worst ever, but people are vomiting out their insides.

00:05:30.000 You know, vaginas start talking and eating things, whatever. 1.00

00:05:34.000 If that's a movie, you should probably see it.

00:05:36.000 Wasn't there, there was a whole series in like, I guess it was like the 60s and the 70s, of just what they were called gore movies, where movies were unbelievably gory.

00:05:46.000 Like, I remember I picked up a magazine about it once. 0.98

00:05:49.000 It just, you know, it was one of those, just looking through random magazines, like, what the fuck is this?

00:05:54.000 Like, Fangoria, and it was all about one different type of gore film that this one dude used to make. 0.89

00:06:00.000 Oh, that Herschel Gordon Lewis stuff, like the 10,000 Maniacs.

00:06:03.000 Yeah, I think that's it.

00:06:04.000 And the Wizard of Gore.

00:06:05.000 Yeah.

00:06:06.000 And so he came out, they were making like these...

00:06:08.000 I think they were X-rated at the time.

00:06:10.000 They weren't hardcore, but these exploitation films at one point.

00:06:14.000 And then it was like, that wasn't enough, so they created this movie.

00:06:18.000 They showed people getting their tongues cut off.

00:06:21.000 I mean, they're really cheesy.

00:06:23.000 Yeah.

00:06:23.000 So bad.

00:06:24.000 Still disturbing.

00:06:25.000 But back then, it really fucked people's minds up.

00:06:27.000 Yeah.

00:06:28.000 And that was their new thing.

00:06:32.000 All of a sudden, the audience just flipped out about it, and they had to get more of it. 0.99

00:06:35.000 Yeah, I remember seeing that as a little kid, going, who the fuck wants to watch this? 0.98

00:06:40.000 Like, this is just disturbing. 0.99

00:06:41.000 Like, I understand a good zombie movie, a good vampire movie, you know, something fun, but who the fuck wants to watch people just get chopped up like this? 0.99

00:06:48.000 A lot of people. 0.99

00:06:49.000 A lot of people.

00:06:50.000 You know, with the, with, you've got the whole, what was that, Eli Roth thing, the torture film that they had.

00:07:01.000 Oh, yeah.

00:07:01.000 Yeah.

00:07:02.000 Which I can't remember. 0.99

00:07:03.000 They've done two of them, I think, where the travelers end up in, like, Romania, and then they get lured into some place by a hot bitch. 1.00

00:07:10.000 Hostile. 1.00

00:07:11.000 Hostile.

00:07:11.000 Yeah.

00:07:12.000 Yeah.

00:07:13.000 Yeah, I only saw the first one of those.

00:07:14.000 They got me once.

00:07:15.000 Right.

00:07:15.000 And then, of course, even the rich people paid and tortured.

00:07:19.000 But honestly, really, it's all the women's fault. 1.00

00:07:22.000 The chicks lured them in, those little bitches. 1.00

00:07:24.000 Of course. 1.00

00:07:24.000 Vagina. 1.00

00:07:25.000 Goddamn. 1.00

00:07:25.000 Ruins lives. 1.00

00:07:26.000 Ruins lives.

00:07:27.000 It certainly can.

00:07:27.000 Yeah.

00:07:28.000 You know what? 1.00

00:07:28.000 You go after a piece of strange, and you get a fucking, you know... 1.00

00:07:31.000 Splinter is shoved into your eye. 0.99

00:07:33.000 That's what happens.

00:07:34.000 It can happen.

00:07:35.000 Yeah, and there's no protection for that.

00:07:37.000 Like, they'll make a condom for that one.

00:07:38.000 Now, you've fought all over the world, right?

00:07:40.000 I mean, have you ever fought in Russia?

00:07:41.000 I have never fought in Russia.

00:07:43.000 You ever hear Heath Haring's description of going to the hospital in Russia?

00:07:46.000 He said it looked like Dawn of the Dead. 0.98

00:07:48.000 Yeah, he said there was, like, bodies laying out there, and they're just stitching people up in front of you, and you're like, what the fuck is going on, man? 0.91

00:07:55.000 Bodies, like, laying on wheels the whole way. 0.65

00:07:57.000 Like vodka, probably, for antiseptic.

00:07:59.000 Ugh.

00:08:00.000 Yeah.

00:08:01.000 Yeah.

00:08:01.000 And that was during the dark age when the Soviet Union collapsed.

00:08:05.000 So I think times were really fucking hard there for a long time.

00:08:08.000 I'm sure there's still some of that to be found over in Russia because it's such a difference in class at this point. 0.91

00:08:14.000 There's like the uber rich and then there's like not really a middle class to my understanding. 0.95

00:08:19.000 Well that's why a movie like Hostile works because you know you look at like these pretty girls and you're like if they were really cold hearted killers from Russia they could sneak you in Pull your butt cheeks apart until you die. 1.00

00:08:32.000 I wonder if there really are that, people that are willing to pay people to go grab someone...

00:08:38.000 Well, think of it this way. 0.99

00:08:38.000 Think about all the perverted shit that we think about, right? 0.99

00:08:41.000 And then we go look up and watch on the internet while we're masturbating. 1.00

00:08:45.000 Not me. 0.87

00:08:46.000 Speak for yourself.

00:08:47.000 Alright, well, yeah.

00:08:49.000 Some of us are easily amused. 0.98

00:08:53.000 But the thing being is that you can think of all kinds of fucked up weird fetish. 0.98

00:08:56.000 Right. 0.96

00:08:56.000 And there is at least a handful of people out there that are going to do it. 0.96

00:09:00.000 Yeah.

00:09:01.000 Anything you can imagine, someone's doing.

00:09:03.000 I just couldn't imagine someone being able to organize a place where you could actually go to torture people.

00:09:08.000 I feel like somebody is going to tell, this is going to fall apart. 0.93

00:09:13.000 I don't put anything past humanity to do as the most fucked up thing and the most beautiful thing.

00:09:20.000 Have you ever seen the Bohemian Grove footage?

00:09:24.000 Do you know anything about Bohemian Grove?

00:09:26.000 No.

00:09:27.000 Is that a bunch of hippies?

00:09:28.000 No, just the opposite.

00:09:29.000 A bunch of banker type dudes and dignitaries from foreign countries and like skull and bones type dudes.

00:09:37.000 They get together and who knows what the fuck is really going on, but they have this giant Molech, the Owl God, and they all dress up in robes. 0.99

00:09:45.000 It's ridiculous. 0.99

00:09:46.000 I mean, it's been proven that this secret society- It sounds like LARPing. 0.90

00:09:49.000 LARPing?

00:09:50.000 What's LARPing?

00:09:51.000 Life-action role-playing?

00:09:53.000 Oh! 0.60

00:09:54.000 It is!

00:09:55.000 It is like that!

00:09:56.000 We're all running around, woo! 0.99

00:09:58.000 These guys that are in Skull and Bones, there's a lot of weird, silly, ritualistic shit that they're doing. 0.87

00:10:06.000 And apparently, there literally are people to this day, I don't know, Alex Jones broke into it, it was over a decade ago, and filmed it. 0.99

00:10:14.000 These fucking people, they're burning an effigy. 0.99

00:10:16.000 They have, like, sticks wrapped up and they're burning it for the sacrifice of the Owl God. 1.00

00:10:20.000 I mean, these are like millionaires.

00:10:24.000 Owl God, huh? 0.99

00:10:25.000 Ridiculous. 0.98

00:10:25.000 Yeah, Molek. 0.98

00:10:26.000 They couldn't have chose something better than that? 1.00

00:10:27.000 Molek's a bad motherfucker, dude. 1.00

00:10:28.000 Is he? 1.00

00:10:29.000 Apparently.

00:10:29.000 I don't know.

00:10:29.000 I've never been fucked up by an owl.

00:10:31.000 I know that. 1.00

00:10:32.000 Owls are bad motherfuckers, dude. 1.00

00:10:34.000 They're scary. 1.00

00:10:36.000 Why not a grizzly bear?

00:10:37.000 That would definitely be scarier than an owl.

00:10:39.000 That would totally be scary.

00:10:40.000 It makes even a gnarlier noise.

00:10:41.000 Owls don't sound scary.

00:10:43.000 Right. 0.88

00:10:43.000 And it'd take a long time for an owl to kill you, and you probably would win. 0.88

00:10:46.000 Yeah.

00:10:47.000 If you had to go toe-to-toe with an owl...

00:10:48.000 I put my money on myself. 1.00

00:10:50.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:10:51.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:10:51.000 All you need to do is grab ahold of his neck. 1.00

00:10:54.000 What kind of defense does an owl have?

00:10:55.000 Not even...

00:10:56.000 It could...

00:10:57.000 Pull flesh out, whatever.

00:10:58.000 We're talking about life and death. 0.99

00:11:00.000 Good killing. 1.00

00:11:01.000 I'm going to kill that. 1.00

00:11:01.000 But even a small brown bear, or a black bear. 1.00

00:11:04.000 Oh, he'd fuck you up, man. 1.00

00:11:05.000 Black bears are scared of you, so you don't have to worry about them as much. 1.00

00:11:09.000 But, you know, if you wanted to. 1.00

00:11:10.000 A fucking cat, man. 1.00

00:11:12.000 A 30-pound cat is scary as shit. 1.00

00:11:13.000 I do have a desire. 0.99

00:11:15.000 I don't think I'll ever make it happen.

00:11:17.000 To have, like, a...

00:11:19.000 Cougar-sized cat, just like my pet.

00:11:22.000 And I don't mean like pet, like I want to walk it around on a leash.

00:11:25.000 No, I just want someone to break into my house while I'm gone.

00:11:28.000 So, you know, the variation being, oh, you got your dogs there, the robber breaks in or whatever, and the dog goes, and they run away. 0.99

00:11:35.000 Well, the cat, the driver breaks in, just keeps stealing shit, right? 0.97

00:11:39.000 And he's like, unhooking your TV and all of this, and all of a sudden just, wow! 1.00

00:11:44.000 And you hear that roar from a puma, and it's on his neck, just murdering him.

00:11:50.000 So you come home, and you're like, oh, I see you had someone to play with while I was gone.

00:11:54.000 They say that if you see a mountain lion first, that it's very likely that he's not going to attack you, if you see him first.

00:12:01.000 I can believe that.

00:12:02.000 But if he sees you first, he might not be able to resist it. 0.99

00:12:05.000 You know, if he knows, you don't know what the fuck is happening. 1.00

00:12:08.000 That rush of just creeping up on you and just jacking you. 1.00

00:12:12.000 Bushwhacking you. 0.99

00:12:12.000 Must be so fun. 0.99

00:12:13.000 I mean, that's what they love.

00:12:14.000 So what they should do is they should get mountain lions to be the ones to spread the gospel of Jesus around because then nobody would know that they were around.

00:12:22.000 They could sneak up on you and like, hey, hey, you have a minute to talk about our Lord and Savior? 0.99

00:12:26.000 You're like, fuck, where'd you come from? 1.00

00:12:27.000 They would do it a little differently, though. 1.00

00:12:29.000 They would introduce you to them immediately.

00:12:33.000 At least if you get killed by a cat, though, they kill you.

00:12:36.000 Bears just start eating.

00:12:38.000 They just hold you down and start eating you. 1.00

00:12:40.000 That's a lot more of a pain in the ass. 1.00

00:12:42.000 You hear about that guy in Africa, a student? 1.00

00:12:44.000 He got eaten by a bear? 0.98

00:12:45.000 Fucked up by chimpanzees. 0.99

00:12:47.000 Oh! 0.99

00:12:47.000 They dragged him a mile. 0.99

00:12:50.000 Dragged him a mile. 1.00

00:12:51.000 Beat the fucking shit out of him. 1.00

00:12:53.000 Dragged him under a fence and then dragged him like a mile. 1.00

00:12:55.000 Can we blame Kubrick for that?

00:12:59.000 Well, these chimps were all problem chimps.

00:13:01.000 They were all chimps that had been in zoos and in captivity.

00:13:04.000 They were trying to reintroduce them for a while.

00:13:05.000 What about that song by ACDC? Problem Chimps? 0.94

00:13:07.000 Yeah.

00:13:08.000 Is that a song?

00:13:09.000 It should be.

00:13:10.000 Somebody should have a Problem Chimps song. 1.00

00:13:12.000 But they're not even wild chimps.

00:13:15.000 These are chimps that They're trying to reintroduce the wild, I'm pretty sure.

00:13:17.000 Like zoo chimps, circus chimps.

00:13:19.000 So they're like chimps that have needed therapy, and then these chimps...

00:13:23.000 Sure. 0.98

00:13:24.000 They found a guy who beat the fuck out of them. 1.00

00:13:25.000 Well, a lot of those chimps, first of all, I think they get mental illness. 1.00

00:13:30.000 If you're naturally supposed to be in a wild situation where all your instincts are tuned into protecting yourself, looking around, making sure that nothing's sneaking up on you, and yet you live in front of a giant glass wall, Where every day these weird pink monkeys are staring at you, your senses are going off, and you don't know what the fuck to do. 0.98

00:13:48.000 It just becomes normal, and you get used to it, but every day you probably go crazy. 0.99

00:13:52.000 They're probably crazy.

00:13:53.000 It's a completely unnatural environment. 0.98

00:13:55.000 Because they have the higher brain capacity to logically work out what's going on, where they're at, how this whole deal works.

00:14:05.000 And how many of them are abused?

00:14:06.000 I think a lot.

00:14:07.000 I think a lot of them get abused.

00:14:08.000 You know the scenario that took place in that Planet of the Apes movie, the most recent one?

00:14:13.000 I didn't watch it. 1.00

00:14:14.000 One guy was an asshole spraying the chimps with a hose. 1.00

00:14:16.000 I'm sure that happens. 1.00

00:14:17.000 I'm sure they get abused.

00:14:19.000 Of course it happens. 1.00

00:14:19.000 And I'm sure they're assholes too. 1.00

00:14:21.000 I'm sure they do cunty things and you want to fucking spray the chimp with a hose. 1.00

00:14:24.000 I wouldn't doubt that for a second. 1.00

00:14:26.000 Have you seen them raping frogs? 0.64

00:14:28.000 Yeah, it's hilarious. 1.00

00:14:29.000 Well, fuck a frog. 1.00

00:14:31.000 Well, they do. 1.00

00:14:32.000 But who throws the frog in there at some point?

00:14:35.000 Watch this monkey rip this frog. 1.00

00:14:37.000 I wonder if it was just a natural occurrence. 1.00

00:14:39.000 The frog just fucked up and wound up there. 0.97

00:14:41.000 But a lot of them know they have like a thing where you can't climb out. 0.99

00:14:44.000 Yeah, so I think there's, you know, some like 19-year-old zookeeper dipshit. 0.60

00:14:48.000 He's like...

00:14:49.000 People and animals.

00:14:52.000 What a strange combination.

00:14:53.000 It's going to be real weird if we find out there's something much smarter than us.

00:14:57.000 Because we're going to have to figure out how to convince it to not put us in a zoo. 0.99

00:15:01.000 Think about the way we treat all this shit that's just barely a little less smart than us. 0.99

00:15:07.000 I don't think that they would have to be convinced. 1.00

00:15:09.000 I think we'd do it to ourselves anyways.

00:15:11.000 Probably.

00:15:12.000 Reality television.

00:15:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:15:14.000 The idea of sticking us behind a cage and letting us act like the biggest assholes we could possibly think of, generally in New Jersey, then there you go. 0.99

00:15:25.000 It's a ratings wonder. 0.99

00:15:26.000 Yeah, Housewives. 0.98

00:15:27.000 That show is like a human zoo in a lot of ways.

00:15:30.000 That's part of the appeal, is that you don't know anybody like that. 1.00

00:15:33.000 You're not introducing anybody like those idiots into your life. 1.00

00:15:36.000 But yet you can watch them, you know, like the men posturing with each other. 1.00

00:15:40.000 I'm going to call him Josephine. 1.00

00:15:42.000 He's a fucking girl, that one. 1.00

00:15:44.000 You're like, whoa, do you hear yourself? 1.00

00:15:46.000 This is an actual, you're a grown man. 1.00

00:15:48.000 Josephine, that's a pretty complex word for an idiot. 1.00

00:15:50.000 You're calling another, well, really common actually. 1.00

00:15:53.000 It's common in Jersey.

00:15:54.000 It's my grandmother's name.

00:15:55.000 Josephine?

00:15:55.000 Yeah, it's an Italian woman's name.

00:15:57.000 It's very common.

00:15:58.000 But the guy was Joe, so he's calling him Josephine. 1.00

00:16:00.000 Me and you go, fuck him, he's a little girl, I'm calling him a girl's name. 1.00

00:16:04.000 And you're like, what kind of asshole? 1.00

00:16:06.000 Would you ever let that guy in your house? 1.00

00:16:09.000 Would you ever hang out with him?

00:16:10.000 If anybody like that was talking in your house, you would immediately start mocking them. 1.00

00:16:13.000 And you would go, you gotta get the fuck out of here. 1.00

00:16:15.000 I'd probably marry him. 1.00

00:16:17.000 That's your type?

00:16:18.000 Oh, I love it.

00:16:19.000 Oh, oiled up, spiky hair, and lots of big earrings.

00:16:24.000 Steroids.

00:16:24.000 Oh, totally.

00:16:25.000 Juiced up.

00:16:26.000 The big hoop earrings, those are very important.

00:16:29.000 There's something about the daring dual hoop.

00:16:34.000 DJ on the side.

00:16:36.000 How did the stretch thing start happening?

00:16:38.000 I don't know.

00:16:39.000 I don't know when the plug thing started happening.

00:16:41.000 I know like there were the piercing kids were into that and it was like a certain kind of A certain kind of scene wanted to do that.

00:16:50.000 Right.

00:16:50.000 And then, like, hipsters started doing it, like indie kids.

00:16:53.000 Yeah.

00:16:53.000 And little art kids.

00:16:54.000 And then it started to grow, grow, grow, and then... 0.87

00:16:56.000 Well, and, you know, at some point, okay, let's say you don't want a fucking earring anymore, you don't have to wear an earring, but if you just fucking mangled your ear into some weird, grown-out disc, like, once you get over that... 0.83

00:17:08.000 I don't know. 0.96

00:17:09.000 I suppose they loop it over the rest of your ear.

00:17:12.000 Do they cut it back?

00:17:14.000 They cut it back and stitch it up?

00:17:15.000 I've heard someone say that they can do whatever.

00:17:17.000 I'm like, well, who wants to go through all of that? 1.00

00:17:19.000 That's a pain in the ass. 1.00

00:17:20.000 And what if he gets deaf? 1.00

00:17:22.000 Yeah.

00:17:23.000 Your ear.

00:17:23.000 Yeah.

00:17:24.000 Stupid. 1.00

00:17:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:17:26.000 There's two things that have always troubled me in our culture.

00:17:28.000 How did that get that far?

00:17:29.000 Because I understand... 1.00

00:17:30.000 You know, when other cultures have been doing things for thousands of years and the Thai stick fucking rocks through their face and shit. 1.00

00:17:36.000 You're living in a jungle and, I mean, you're not even trying to be about modernization. 1.00

00:17:40.000 You're just living your life. 0.99

00:17:42.000 But in this country, there's that, there's the ear thing, and then there's the fucking saggy pants thing. 0.99

00:17:47.000 The saggy pants thing kills me more than the other thing. 0.99

00:17:49.000 The saggy pants thing is...

00:17:51.000 I can't believe...

00:17:52.000 If you came up to me in the 1980s and said, do you think saggy pants would still be around in 2012? 1.00

00:17:58.000 I would say, no, fuck it out of here. 1.00

00:18:00.000 There's no way. 1.00

00:18:00.000 It's so dumb. 1.00

00:18:01.000 I can't believe it's here now. 0.99

00:18:02.000 I'm like, trust me.

00:18:03.000 It's not going to last.

00:18:04.000 They don't even know what it's from.

00:18:05.000 It's from prison.

00:18:06.000 When the guys are in prison, they've got no belts because they don't want to commit suicide.

00:18:10.000 So everyone's sagging their pants.

00:18:11.000 So when they get out, they're used to doing that.

00:18:13.000 It's like an ex-con thing.

00:18:14.000 There's nothing cool about it.

00:18:15.000 Well, somehow or another, it became a rock star thing.

00:18:18.000 You meet guys that are in bands, and they're sagging their pants. 0.99

00:18:22.000 They have their pants buckled up over their dick. 1.00

00:18:23.000 I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? 1.00

00:18:24.000 Are you a gangster? 1.00

00:18:26.000 They've got basketball shorts underneath the pants.

00:18:29.000 What is that about?

00:18:30.000 What is that?

00:18:31.000 That is a weird look.

00:18:32.000 It's horrible.

00:18:33.000 And then there's kids with the skinny jeans, the practical jeggings, and they're sagging.

00:18:39.000 There's like a little space back there.

00:18:41.000 This is a weird urge to pants those guys and headbutt them. 1.00

00:18:44.000 When you see a dude with the pants like really just below their dick. 1.00

00:18:48.000 You're like, this is just, you're crazy. 1.00

00:18:51.000 You're walking around. 0.91

00:18:51.000 Start sprinting and watch them fall over themselves. 0.91

00:18:54.000 You're walking around amongst people and you're basically... 0.99

00:18:57.000 You look like a slob. 1.00

00:18:58.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:18:59.000 You're basically handcuffing yourself and you're allowing people to close the handcuffs.

00:19:02.000 Like you got this little thing on.

00:19:04.000 Someone just pants you and push you over. 1.00

00:19:07.000 This is ridiculous. 1.00

00:19:08.000 This is the dumbest thing you can be doing. 1.00

00:19:10.000 It's retarded. 1.00

00:19:10.000 What kind of a man? 1.00

00:19:11.000 What does that say about our society?

00:19:13.000 That people, for whatever reason, this is how they choose to leave their house. 0.99

00:19:16.000 They want to buckle their pants above their cock and have their underwear hang above it. 1.00

00:19:21.000 What? 1.00

00:19:22.000 No, that's what you do?

00:19:23.000 Yeah, man.

00:19:24.000 It's dope. 0.55

00:19:25.000 I'm sagging.

00:19:26.000 Like, that doesn't even...

00:19:27.000 That's got to be some sort of a...

00:19:29.000 It's an aberration.

00:19:30.000 Like, some sort of a thing that...

00:19:32.000 You'd think so, but it just continues to exist and perpetrate and just still continue to be...

00:19:38.000 I see people like that all the time.

00:19:40.000 I see guys where they buy the jeans, sag them so much, and then they wear the long shirt that it looks like your legs are two feet long.

00:19:50.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:19:51.000 And you know what?

00:19:52.000 I'm not here to talk about fashion for the most part in terms of like, well, I didn't mean that in general.

00:19:56.000 Like, we want to talk about fashion.

00:19:57.000 We can go on.

00:19:58.000 He's not a good politician.

00:19:59.000 I'm not here to talk about fashion.

00:20:02.000 I'm here to get down to brass tacks.

00:20:04.000 My opponent wants to talk about fashion.

00:20:06.000 How he wants to tax you for skinny jeans. 0.99

00:20:10.000 Yeah, tax you for being a douchebag. 1.00

00:20:11.000 Is your belt buckle below your dick? 1.00

00:20:13.000 You're a fucking idiot, okay? 1.00

00:20:15.000 Is your dick above your belt buckle? 1.00

00:20:17.000 You, sir, are an asshole. 1.00

00:20:18.000 You need to pull your fucking pants up. 1.00

00:20:20.000 You can't possibly be contributing to society. 1.00

00:20:22.000 How old does that make you feel to have that?

00:20:24.000 Very old.

00:20:24.000 That rant.

00:20:25.000 Not just old, but confused.

00:20:27.000 Like, this is not...

00:20:28.000 Something has happened that I did not explain.

00:20:30.000 I think...

00:20:30.000 We've lived through eras and are familiar with evolutions of fashion as it is.

00:20:38.000 Bell-bottoms.

00:20:40.000 Yeah.

00:20:40.000 Not nearly as preposterous.

00:20:41.000 No, no, they're not.

00:20:42.000 And yet, not nearly as offensive either.

00:20:45.000 No. 0.85

00:20:45.000 So we started off, I'm from 77, so I remember when bell-bottoms were still kind of hanging around, you know, in those fucking Mork and Mindy vests with like the multicolors on them. 0.85

00:20:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:20:55.000 Goofy shit, right? 1.00

00:20:56.000 And the bold haircuts. 1.00

00:20:58.000 And going into the 80s and the abstract hairs and all the different... 1.00

00:21:03.000 And there was all the androgynous shit. 0.99

00:21:06.000 There was the super tight stuff. 1.00

00:21:08.000 There was the really colorful stuff.

00:21:09.000 There was everything.

00:21:10.000 The girls that looked like Nagel paintings... 1.00

00:21:12.000 Okay, I've seen all that, and then you go to the 90s, and then it just got, okay, sagging pants, and like weird, odd colors, and shoulder pads, and whatever, and then the 2000s, and then you start, now we start combining fashion stuff from classic eras, and I mean, all sorts of stuff is making all kinds of comebacks, so you're seeing looks from all over the place, everywhere, every day, even right now.

00:21:35.000 That The sagging jeans, I just can't get it.

00:21:42.000 That's the bottom, that's the least understandable. 1.00

00:21:45.000 If you're a rock star on stage and you're sagging your jeans a little bit and you're deliberately trying to look like you're a pile of shit, like some sort of thrown together, just sloppy son of a bitch on purpose, yes. 1.00

00:22:02.000 Got it. 1.00

00:22:03.000 To a degree.

00:22:05.000 When you're like a size 30 waist and you've got 40 jeans on and they're just piled around your ankles. 1.00

00:22:14.000 What the fuck are you thinking? 1.00

00:22:15.000 What the fuck are you doing? 1.00

00:22:16.000 Buying quadruple X shirts that hang down past your knees. 1.00

00:22:20.000 You know who wears shirts that are so big that it covers their whole body?

00:22:24.000 Women do. 1.00

00:22:25.000 When they sleep in them at night.

00:22:27.000 Or when they're pregnant. 0.93

00:22:28.000 Or when they're pregnant. 0.93

00:22:29.000 They wear that or girls wear that. 0.99

00:22:31.000 When you're like 14. Yeah.

00:22:33.000 Your nightie shirt. 1.00

00:22:34.000 Silly bitch. 1.00

00:22:34.000 Someone's gonna pants you. 1.00

00:22:36.000 Someone's gonna pants you and push you over. 1.00

00:22:38.000 And then pull your shirt over the fucking top of your face. 1.00

00:22:40.000 And then give you noogies. 1.00

00:22:42.000 Yeah, take a piss on you. 1.00

00:22:43.000 It's a ridiculous look. 1.00

00:22:44.000 And I can't believe it's still around. 0.98

00:22:46.000 It doesn't make sense.

00:22:47.000 And I think it has something to do with the fact that we're not fulfilling our hunter-gatherer genes.

00:22:51.000 Our hunter-gatherer genes are being ignored.

00:22:54.000 Our hunter-gatherer genes are sagging right now.

00:22:56.000 Yeah, our warrior genes, they're not being fulfilled.

00:22:59.000 So we have all these genetic impostles that are all suppressed.

00:23:01.000 And so what do people do?

00:23:03.000 It goes off in aberrations.

00:23:04.000 And some aberrations are like sagging genes. 1.00

00:23:07.000 They do stupid shit because they know that they're not... 1.00

00:23:09.000 They don't have to worry. 1.00

00:23:10.000 If you were out in fucking Alaska and you were running away from bears all day, you would have your belt buckle cinched in, you'd have your fucking boots tight, and you would walk outside the door, and you would go, shh, shh, shh, the fuck is that? 0.99

00:23:22.000 You wouldn't be like, yeah, man, you know, I'm just taking cough syrup and my pants sagging. 1.00

00:23:27.000 Dudes are medicating themselves on purpose.

00:23:29.000 Leaving their house dulled.

00:23:32.000 Why?

00:23:32.000 Because they're thumbing their finger.

00:23:34.000 They're giving the finger to nature.

00:23:36.000 Right.

00:23:36.000 They're saying, it's so safe.

00:23:38.000 I can go out with my fucking belt tied to my dick. 1.00

00:23:41.000 I'm so bored. 1.00

00:23:41.000 I have to think of new ways to be an asshole because I don't have anything to worry about anymore. 1.00

00:23:46.000 Exactly. 1.00

00:23:46.000 Sedated. 1.00

00:23:47.000 Going outside, not worried about anything.

00:23:49.000 Sip and scissor.

00:23:50.000 Sleeping on a park bench.

00:23:52.000 You're not worried about animals coming up and eating you.

00:23:54.000 There's no animals out here.

00:23:56.000 They're pigeons.

00:23:56.000 That's it.

00:23:57.000 You're not going to worry about shit. 0.99

00:23:58.000 No, they're not doing a damn thing. 1.00

00:23:59.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:24:00.000 We've thumbed our nose in the face of evolution. 1.00

00:24:03.000 This is the rebound.

00:24:05.000 The easier things get, the weaker we become, the more we start looking for new and other ways to try and express that which is not being used at all.

00:24:15.000 Not that I'm saying everybody needs to go out and start getting in fist fights and drinking whiskey and being fucking heavy metal badass like myself, but do something.

00:24:23.000 Do something difficult so you can test your character.

00:24:26.000 Anything difficult.

00:24:27.000 Yes, anything.

00:24:27.000 Just start by, let's say, maybe, one, using definite words when you speak.

00:24:35.000 Stop saying like, kind of, sort of.

00:24:37.000 I sat there and listened to a cable guy connecting my stuff saying, well...

00:24:43.000 You kind of do this, and it's like that.

00:24:46.000 What do you mean it's kind of and like? 0.99

00:24:47.000 You fucking hit the enter button, and it absolutely, positively chooses said thing that you fucking put the cursor on. 0.96

00:24:55.000 It's not kinda. 0.99

00:24:56.000 It's not sort of.

00:24:57.000 It's a filler.

00:24:59.000 It's another way of saying uh.

00:25:00.000 It is, but now it's like commit.

00:25:03.000 Commit.

00:25:03.000 People don't want to commit to anything.

00:25:05.000 Nobody wants to deliberately say, I'm going to be there at this time, and I'm going to fucking be there.

00:25:10.000 I'll kind of maybe...

00:25:12.000 No one ever wants to also be deliberate in their speech because what they say...

00:25:16.000 I think that black is the new gray.

00:25:23.000 And then someone goes...

00:25:25.000 What?

00:25:26.000 No.

00:25:26.000 And they disagree because you made a definite statement.

00:25:28.000 You took a stand.

00:25:29.000 You made yourself, you know, and I think black is the new gray. 1.00

00:25:32.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:25:33.000 If you think differently, fine, we're going to get into an argument about it. 1.00

00:25:37.000 I might run you over with my fucking car or whatever, but this is how I feel about it. 0.99

00:25:40.000 And if you say, I kind of think black is the new gray, it gives you that wiggle room that you can fucking slink your way out. 1.00

00:25:45.000 You're greased up enough you can slide under the door. 0.97

00:25:48.000 Right.

00:25:48.000 Kinda.

00:25:49.000 And I fall...

00:25:50.000 It's such a common...

00:25:55.000 It's part of speech at this point that even I find myself saying like and kind of here and there, but I can't stand it.

00:26:02.000 I hate when I catch myself saying like.

00:26:03.000 Like is about it.

00:26:05.000 I'm not all about the like either, but kind of this and sort of that.

00:26:09.000 No.

00:26:10.000 It isn't kinda or sorta anything. 0.96

00:26:12.000 Lots of shit in this world is not kinda or sorta. 0.95

00:26:14.000 It just is. 0.99

00:26:17.000 You can't get away from that. 0.99

00:26:19.000 Just fucking deal with it. 0.99

00:26:21.000 That's just a huge pet peeve of mine, dealing with people on a regular basis. 0.99

00:26:25.000 It's so much easier for someone to think of Things always having the ability to excuse themselves from it.

00:26:32.000 So that way they don't ever have to take the brunt of the responsibility either.

00:26:37.000 Well, I'm sure your reason for not liking that in other people is that you would hate to see that ever in yourself.

00:26:44.000 It's a weakness.

00:26:45.000 We've all been there.

00:26:46.000 We've all done those things. 0.99

00:26:47.000 We've all done bullshit stuff like that. 1.00

00:26:49.000 I think the difference being is when you realize that that was bullshit... 1.00

00:26:54.000 Yeah, you learned. 0.99

00:26:55.000 And some people aren't learning. 1.00

00:26:57.000 That's where someone needs to kick them in the ass. 1.00

00:27:00.000 Someone needs to say, listen, you've got to catch the fuck up. 1.00

00:27:03.000 Learn from your mistakes and then improve and move on.

00:27:07.000 It's not just a continual cycle of failing and trying to get back on the horse and failing. 1.00

00:27:11.000 It's learn how to ride a fucking horse. 0.98

00:27:13.000 It's not how many times you fall off the horse. 1.00

00:27:15.000 Don't fall off the fucking horse again, stupid. 1.00

00:27:18.000 Train the horse right, ride the horse right, and don't fall off the fucking horse. 1.00

00:27:21.000 That's right. 1.00

00:27:22.000 You could be Christopher Reed if you keep falling off of horses. 0.99

00:27:24.000 Especially if you want to get a horse to jump over some shit that he doesn't want to jump over. 0.99

00:27:27.000 Right. 0.99

00:27:27.000 I will never understand that. 0.99

00:27:31.000 You know what? 1.00

00:27:31.000 It is a lot to say that you can master an animal like that, but it is a massive fucking animal. 1.00

00:27:38.000 And when it doesn't want to do what it wants to do, how do you... 0.99

00:27:41.000 I think it's great that we can use our intellect to control this thing, but when it came down to physical...

00:27:46.000 Aspects. 0.98

00:27:47.000 Like, you can't make a fucking horse through what it doesn't want to if it really didn't want to. 0.99

00:27:49.000 Especially jump over shit. 1.00

00:27:50.000 It's one thing if you're riding a trail horse. 1.00

00:27:51.000 You want the horse to ride on a trail.

00:27:53.000 A horse with a 200 pound man on his back, it's really not that big a deal for a horse.

00:27:57.000 And they can safely walk. 0.99

00:27:58.000 But you want a horse to jump over shit? 0.99

00:28:00.000 You want it to fly through the air with a person on his back. 0.99

00:28:04.000 Okay. 1.00

00:28:05.000 You're fucking crazy. 1.00

00:28:07.000 Have you ever tried? 1.00

00:28:09.000 There's a lot of other shit. 1.00

00:28:10.000 Go fucking take a martial arts class. 1.00

00:28:13.000 Learn how to drive a race car. 1.00

00:28:14.000 Race cars are great.

00:28:15.000 They have brakes.

00:28:16.000 Race cars are great.

00:28:17.000 They're fun.

00:28:17.000 They are fantastic.

00:28:18.000 Yeah, you learn how to steer.

00:28:19.000 They're very predictable. 0.99

00:28:21.000 It's not a fucking animal. 1.00

00:28:22.000 Some crazy animal. 1.00

00:28:23.000 It has a mind of its own. 0.51

00:28:24.000 It just wants to jump for whatever reason.

00:28:26.000 It wants to buck you back. 0.95

00:28:28.000 It lands on you and crushes your skull on a rock. 0.96

00:28:32.000 How about that? 1.00

00:28:32.000 The rest of your life, you have a window the size of a quarter that you can see the world out of, and you're fucking shit in your pants. 1.00

00:28:40.000 That's not anything that I'm interested to. 1.00

00:28:42.000 This is why I shoot all horses on sight.

00:28:44.000 Have you ever had some of those Alistair Overeem horse digs?

00:28:47.000 No, no, no.

00:28:48.000 I haven't worked my way up. 0.99

00:28:49.000 I'm more of a goat dick guy. 0.96

00:28:51.000 I'm accused with the whole heavy metal attitude. 0.95

00:28:54.000 Horse meat's supposed to be really delicious, actually.

00:28:56.000 I have had horse meat in Japan, raw.

00:28:58.000 Oh, really?

00:28:59.000 Raw?

00:29:00.000 Yeah, it's like a horse sashimi.

00:29:02.000 It's like a delicacy over there.

00:29:03.000 Especially in Kyushu and the more southern prefectures.

00:29:06.000 But I just, it doesn't...

00:29:07.000 I didn't dig it.

00:29:09.000 It was alright.

00:29:09.000 And then, Brian Johnston...

00:29:15.000 Is it kind of gamey?

00:29:16.000 Kind of gamey.

00:29:17.000 It's...

00:29:17.000 I couldn't really...

00:29:18.000 I'd be like...

00:29:19.000 Is it a venison-like sort of a taste, maybe?

00:29:21.000 Closer to that.

00:29:23.000 But I like venison.

00:29:24.000 Love venison.

00:29:25.000 It's just...

00:29:26.000 It's a little...

00:29:28.000 I'm amazed how hard it is to get venison.

00:29:31.000 You would think like...

00:29:32.000 Really? 0.99

00:29:32.000 Yeah, you'd think like, these are fucking pretty prevalent animals. 0.99

00:29:35.000 Why isn't someone breeding them like around here? 0.99

00:29:37.000 You know?

00:29:38.000 I mean, Venice is delicious.

00:29:39.000 Like somewhere on the valley or something. 1.00

00:29:40.000 Yeah, get a big fucking field. 0.99

00:29:42.000 Oh, because here's the thing. 1.00

00:29:43.000 It's hard enough to get assholes in Hollywood to eat meat as it is. 0.99

00:29:48.000 Really? 0.99

00:29:49.000 And then you go ahead and you want to deliver something like, okay, they're going to eat cow.

00:29:53.000 They'll eat chicken.

00:29:54.000 They'll definitely eat fish. 0.95

00:29:56.000 I was just making fun of somebody the other day.

00:29:58.000 What do you want to go?

00:29:59.000 Sushi.

00:29:59.000 Oh, of course you want to go to.

00:30:01.000 Sushi.

00:30:01.000 Let's go to Sushi.

00:30:02.000 I love Sushi so much.

00:30:03.000 Oh my God.

00:30:04.000 Give me some Sushi.

00:30:06.000 Have you ever been to this sushi restaurant? 0.99

00:30:08.000 Why does every woman in LA want to eat fucking raw fish? 1.00

00:30:11.000 Why do you think that is? 1.00

00:30:14.000 Because it's what they think every other woman in LA does. 1.00

00:30:17.000 Really?

00:30:18.000 Yes.

00:30:19.000 I thought it was because it was yummy. 0.99

00:30:21.000 It's good, but it's not like, fuck, let's always go eat sushi. 1.00

00:30:25.000 Fuck that. 1.00

00:30:26.000 You don't wake up one day and just think, Okay, I might even still want fish. 1.00

00:30:31.000 I just want it cooked.

00:30:33.000 Are you a red meat man?

00:30:34.000 Yes.

00:30:35.000 Yeah, me too.

00:30:35.000 I like everything, man.

00:30:37.000 So I ate the horse meat, and it was alright, but...

00:30:40.000 Well, you predominantly...

00:30:42.000 What do you eat?

00:30:44.000 Do you have one thing to eat almost above everything else in your diet?

00:30:48.000 Do you eat fairly clean?

00:30:50.000 Do you like nutrition-minded or flavor-minded?

00:30:53.000 I try to be both.

00:30:55.000 I mean, I do really enjoy the red meat.

00:31:00.000 Hamburger or steak or and you can do a lot.

00:31:03.000 It's pretty versatile, too.

00:31:04.000 Especially after you left, right?

00:31:06.000 Yeah.

00:31:06.000 It's the most satisfying food.

00:31:08.000 The one thing is, okay, there's that or if I just had some serious piece of ass, the very next thing I want, the very next thing I want is a fucking ham. 0.99

00:31:20.000 I have left apartments at odd hours of the night. 0.99

00:31:25.000 Just tracking down any 24-hour Carl's Jr. Jack-in-the-box, anything, because I need a fucking hamburger immediately. 0.98

00:31:34.000 Man, after I saw Food Inc., I'm done with the late-night hamburgers. 0.98

00:31:38.000 I switched over.

00:31:39.000 I tried to eat some chicken sandwiches.

00:31:42.000 I'll eat like a Carl's Jr. chicken sandwich or something like that, but the burgers...

00:31:45.000 It's either In-N-Out or Wendy's.

00:31:47.000 I can't do McDonald's burgers. 0.99

00:31:50.000 They're too fucking gross. 1.00

00:31:51.000 I almost never eat any of that crap. 1.00

00:31:54.000 I'll be honest. 0.99

00:31:55.000 If I'm going to have a burger, there's plenty of places I could go that I know the meat is a lot healthier.

00:32:02.000 I understand also the idea of keeping costs.

00:32:05.000 I go so far overboard in terms of what corporations will try to do to save a buck.

00:32:12.000 Basically, you threw all integrity out the window, so I can't support that.

00:32:16.000 What is that?

00:32:17.000 That's not even a burger.

00:32:18.000 Have you seen those pictures where they can take a McDonald's burger and then they track it for six months and it doesn't rot?

00:32:23.000 It just sits there?

00:32:24.000 Well, I heard, I did read about that because my buddy did the same thing in his gym, CrossFit Bread.

00:32:29.000 He took the burger and just left it there, and it didn't, and then, so I read something about, well, it's got so much salt in it, so it's more of a salt thing.

00:32:38.000 Really?

00:32:39.000 And they said the weirdest thing about it isn't really the burger, it's the bun. 0.98

00:32:43.000 That thing not molding, that's the most fucked up part of the whole thing. 0.99

00:32:48.000 And you should really be the most worried about putting that in your mouth. 0.99

00:32:51.000 Really? 1.00

00:32:51.000 That fucking crazy bun. 1.00

00:32:52.000 I didn't even think of that bun. 1.00

00:32:53.000 I figured that bun's just a piece of bread.

00:32:55.000 I mean, you can salt meat to a degree that it keeps for a long time.

00:33:00.000 They've been doing that forever.

00:33:01.000 Sure.

00:33:01.000 But long before we had refrigeration, all meat was salted pretty much.

00:33:06.000 Right.

00:33:07.000 And you can make it into jerky.

00:33:09.000 That bun?

00:33:12.000 Bread doesn't have that kind of shelf life.

00:33:14.000 Yeah, what is that?

00:33:15.000 What are they putting in there?

00:33:16.000 Some insane preservatives?

00:33:18.000 I don't know.

00:33:18.000 Something, yeah.

00:33:19.000 Something totally gnarly that you really probably shouldn't be putting in your body.

00:33:22.000 It's amazing, but in order to feed the amount of people that we have packed in the cities, like you just drove here from Orange County.

00:33:29.000 Think of that crazy drive, which is one of the worst drives in the country, as far as population centers.

00:33:34.000 I mean, that is an enormous amount of people, from the 405 to the 5A. That whole area, that's an incredible amount of people.

00:33:41.000 And you're going through all these different demographics the whole way.

00:33:44.000 And they all need food.

00:33:45.000 Everybody needs food.

00:33:46.000 They need food.

00:33:47.000 I think that there is a... 0.57

00:33:50.000 Okay, Penn and Teller, I love watching Penn and Teller bullshit, and they have their whole thing on organic food, and about how various chemicals also determine whether something can be called organic or not.

00:34:03.000 Some certified, or things that can be considered organic in terms of pesticides are actually worse than the things that they've created since then. 0.92

00:34:09.000 Well, fine.

00:34:10.000 But there's that fine line where if you, like, you can take it to this point, okay, to a degree, but people take it back, you know, they want to save that extra, like, 30 cents on the dollar, or 3 cents on the dollar, or a half a cent on the dollar, and, like, Pink slime?

00:34:30.000 I mean, that should just never be.

00:34:31.000 That should just never be.

00:34:32.000 Pink slime? 0.93

00:34:33.000 Yeah, that paste that they throw into the burgers.

00:34:37.000 Oh, yeah, Lord, yeah.

00:34:39.000 Or, like, all the really gnarly...

00:34:41.000 They treat it like ammonia.

00:34:42.000 Yeah, see, I mean...

00:34:44.000 To kill all the bacteria that's in it. 0.98

00:34:45.000 It's like, the idea that that's a burger is ridiculous. 0.96

00:34:48.000 That ain't a burger.

00:34:49.000 Have you seen what they do to fast food burgers?

00:34:51.000 The fillers and all the different things they add?

00:34:53.000 I love In-N-Out. 0.99

00:34:55.000 I'll fuck an In-N-Out burger up. 1.00

00:34:58.000 I'll have a 3x3 with cheese and raw eggs. 1.00

00:35:01.000 Do you?

00:35:01.000 Yeah.

00:35:01.000 Do you like Five Guys?

00:35:02.000 Five Guys?

00:35:03.000 I do like Five Guys. 0.99

00:35:04.000 Pretty fucking good. 0.96

00:35:05.000 I might like them better than In-N-Out. 0.99

00:35:07.000 I think they got a taste of your bun.

00:35:09.000 My buddy was going, no, In-N-Out's better.

00:35:11.000 I will say that they're...

00:35:13.000 Equal, but different.

00:35:15.000 Equal, but different. 0.99

00:35:15.000 Both pretty fucking badass. 0.99

00:35:17.000 Did we just say separate or different? 0.98

00:35:19.000 Equal, but different.

00:35:19.000 Separate, but equal.

00:35:21.000 Equal, but different.

00:35:22.000 That's true.

00:35:23.000 They're equally delicious, but in a different way.

00:35:25.000 Yeah, they're in a different way.

00:35:26.000 I'm a big umami fan.

00:35:28.000 I'm really on a hunt to find the best ultimate cheeseburger you can get anywhere.

00:35:32.000 And umami's definitely got a great one.

00:35:34.000 Father's office is fantastic.

00:35:36.000 I'll spend the, whatever, you know, the 12 bucks on a hamburger.

00:35:39.000 There's a place in Atlanta called The Laughing Skull, and they got some cheeseburger place above it that is...

00:35:47.000 God, I can't remember.

00:35:48.000 Do you remember that place, Brian?

00:35:50.000 The Laughing Skull?

00:35:51.000 Yeah.

00:35:51.000 What's the cheeseburger place?

00:35:53.000 I don't remember. 0.99

00:35:54.000 Torsion, Fusion, and fucking... 0.99

00:35:58.000 Whatever it is, if you're in Atlanta, it's above the laughing soul. 0.99

00:36:00.000 It's the fucking greatest cheeseburger place on the face of the earth. 0.98

00:36:04.000 They had great buffalo burgers with blue cheese and just gourmet, slamming cheeseburgers. 1.00

00:36:12.000 Real meat, cooked the way you want.

00:36:14.000 You want it rare, they give it to you rare.

00:36:16.000 You want it medium rare, you can trust it. 0.95

00:36:18.000 It's like, oh, it was so goddamn good.

00:36:20.000 That sounds awesome.

00:36:20.000 There's a place in Chicago I gotta get to.

00:36:22.000 It's all heavy metal themed called Kuma's Corner.

00:36:25.000 They have a Slayer Burger, Goat Whore Burger, Lair of the Minotaur.

00:36:28.000 What's in a Goat Whore Burger? 1.00

00:36:30.000 It was!

00:36:30.000 It was like a lamb patty or something with ground beef or sirloin.

00:36:36.000 And these are like gourmet pretzel rolls with goat cheese on top and all that stuff.

00:36:42.000 I mean, all baked.

00:36:43.000 The Lair of the Minotaur one has these sautéed pear slices that have been thrown on top of gorgonzola and all this. 0.99

00:36:53.000 I mean, just damn! 0.99

00:36:54.000 And you have dirty metalheads in there listening to like, you know, Immortal and Death and they're just counting burgers. 0.99

00:37:03.000 Eating the greatest burgers in the known world.

00:37:05.000 Well that's a weird combination that they do is like into Death Metal and exquisite gourmet burgers.

00:37:12.000 That's so rare.

00:37:13.000 That's exactly why I want to go there.

00:37:16.000 How did you become a big death metal head?

00:37:18.000 I started off just getting into metal from the classic rock side of things.

00:37:24.000 My dad used to play guitar just for fun, played blues and classic rock, and grew up listening to Sabbath and Led Zeppelin and The Beatles and what have you.

00:37:33.000 And then I found this kid That was the son of my babysitter.

00:37:40.000 He introduced me basically to Iron Maiden. 0.99

00:37:44.000 And that was like, oh fuck yeah. 0.94

00:37:45.000 And of course, at like six years old, seeing Eddie, the mascot, was like the coolest thing ever. 1.00

00:37:52.000 Like, look at that fucking dude. 0.99

00:37:54.000 He's got a hatchet. 1.00

00:37:54.000 If you haven't seen Iron Maiden, it's like the monster looking zombie thing. 1.00

00:37:58.000 Yeah, he's like the zombie.

00:38:00.000 That's what they call him.

00:38:00.000 Right, Eddie.

00:38:01.000 And I remember then he had this Killers shirt for the album Killers and it's got Eddie's like holding like some limp woman in his hand with like a bloody hatchet in the other.

00:38:11.000 That is so badass! 0.98

00:38:13.000 And then I remember like from there was like Metallica and Slayer and Megadeth and Anthrax and and and then that progressed to I remember hearing Sepultura and that was harder and heavier and then I found this band Bolt Thrower, and I'm like, what the fuck is that?

00:38:32.000 The covers are so amazing, and they're from these Games Workshop, like Rammer 40k stuff, so I'm like, I already like that, so let me check this out.

00:38:40.000 Oh god, this is the heaviest, most crushing music I've ever heard in my life. 0.95

00:38:44.000 It sounds like an entire army of guitars coming up over the top of a ridge, and then all fist-fucking you all at once. 0.99

00:38:56.000 Pretty much.

00:38:57.000 While Marshall amps drop out of the sky continuously on top of you.

00:39:01.000 There's raining on you. 0.86

00:39:02.000 Being ridden by like trolls. 1.00

00:39:04.000 Is that the kind of shit you listen to in your car? 1.00

00:39:06.000 Yeah! 1.00

00:39:07.000 Yeah!

00:39:07.000 I didn't blow my tire out though.

00:39:09.000 I can't blame the music.

00:39:10.000 Oh, it didn't blow your tire out.

00:39:11.000 No, no, it didn't.

00:39:12.000 No, no.

00:39:13.000 Do you listen to them when you work out, too?

00:39:15.000 I listen to it all the time, but it really depends on my mood.

00:39:19.000 The only thing I don't have on my iPod is country music.

00:39:23.000 Really?

00:39:23.000 I can't get with country music.

00:39:25.000 Or reggae.

00:39:26.000 No reggae?

00:39:27.000 No reggae.

00:39:27.000 No Bob Marley?

00:39:28.000 I could probably buy one reggae compilation album and have all the essentials for any reggae song ever created, ever, and I'm okay.

00:39:35.000 There's like ten really good ones, right?

00:39:38.000 Could you be loved?

00:39:39.000 That's a great jam.

00:39:40.000 Yes.

00:39:41.000 That's a great jam.

00:39:42.000 Get up, stand up, not too bad.

00:39:44.000 Get up, stand up.

00:39:45.000 Yeah, but it gets a little repetitive.

00:39:47.000 Hey, I, you know, I've heard.

00:39:49.000 Okay, got it.

00:39:51.000 Got it.

00:39:52.000 Yeah, all right.

00:39:52.000 Now what are you thinking about today?

00:39:54.000 I and I what?

00:39:54.000 All right.

00:39:55.000 Yeah, but at least it's better than Hawaiian music. 1.00

00:39:58.000 Hawaiian music is fucking brutal. 0.94

00:40:00.000 I love Hawaii, and they're very proud people, and I would understand if you got offended, and when I go to Hawaii, next time people are pissing me, but the reality is, you're there, you're at a perfect rock, you are in the perfect climate, the most beautiful place in the world, and you're playing a song like... 0.98

00:40:22.000 And the red and green banana. 0.97

00:40:26.000 Think of all the shit you could be playing right now. 1.00

00:40:29.000 You could be playing Whole Lotta Love. 1.00

00:40:31.000 You could be playing Led Zeppelin.

00:40:33.000 You guys could have Leonard Skinner. 1.00

00:40:37.000 You could be playing some real fucking music. 1.00

00:40:39.000 This is ridiculous. 1.00

00:40:41.000 How is this still around? 0.70

00:40:43.000 How has this not been changed by the introduction of other characters?

00:40:48.000 Or just taking Disney songs and then just redoing them.

00:40:50.000 You need to let that song go.

00:40:52.000 That song should never be sung again. 0.99

00:40:53.000 That song's ridiculous. 0.98

00:40:54.000 All the great songs, but it's like one of those island things, you know? 0.98

00:40:59.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:41:01.000 What always cracked me up is you look through the magazine.

00:41:05.000 I remember flying to Hawaii for the first time, fighting Super Bowl XIII, and I'm looking through the in-flight magazine, and it's got a little section for all the music.

00:41:13.000 It's got like, oh, here's Channel 4's Locals.

00:41:17.000 And you look, and there was like this gnarly, big, jacked up dude with a big handlebar, like the gnarly biker mustache, you know, whatever.

00:41:24.000 It's like, oof-a-oof-a-moof-a-loof-a is his name. 0.83

00:41:28.000 And then you go and you listen to his music.

00:41:30.000 It's like...

00:41:30.000 Yeah.

00:41:32.000 You have the sweetest voice ever. 0.99

00:41:34.000 I bet your blowjobs are like hand cakes right in the morning. 1.00

00:41:37.000 Oh, that's cool. 1.00

00:41:38.000 Like with strawberries and syrup while I'm just dripping off the plate. 1.00

00:41:40.000 I bet he massages your shoulders while he's sucking your dick. 1.00

00:41:42.000 I bet he does. 1.00

00:41:43.000 And I bet he just pulls him out of socket. 0.99

00:41:46.000 Because he's like 470 pounds, 8 feet tall, and used to play, you know, center for the fucking NFL. It's just bad music for the greatest place on earth. 0.98

00:41:58.000 It just doesn't make any sense.

00:41:59.000 It has a whole warrior culture, too.

00:42:00.000 It's softest, most chill music. 1.00

00:42:02.000 Yeah, it's most like it's all good sweet home Imagine if you killed the whole red and green banana shit. 0.99

00:42:11.000 I'm gonna take five minutes while we'll rest in Hilarious, oh that was cool. 0.99

00:42:23.000 Maybe it's oh I always thought that maybe it was a strategy to keep people from moving to Hawaii. 0.99

00:42:27.000 Just keep playing that shitty music. 0.98

00:42:28.000 I can get tired of this music. 0.98

00:42:30.000 Because if you were on the beach now, the best bands in the country all were in Hawaii.

00:42:35.000 You're like, why don't we live in Hawaii?

00:42:38.000 This is so much better.

00:42:39.000 It's warmer and cool.

00:42:42.000 It's awesome.

00:42:43.000 And they're already upset, right?

00:42:44.000 You spend a lot of time in Hawaii.

00:42:46.000 There's a lot of people get upset.

00:42:47.000 They're not happy about all of us Howlis coming down there.

00:42:49.000 Or actually, really, anybody from the mainland.

00:42:51.000 They're just like, why don't you stay there?

00:42:53.000 Really?

00:42:53.000 Even if you're Hawaiian blood and you live in the mainland?

00:42:56.000 See, I can't speak on that, but as far as if you're just not Hawaiian, Did you ever live there?

00:43:03.000 No.

00:43:03.000 I spent time there.

00:43:05.000 Amazingly, Hawaiians are great to me.

00:43:07.000 I love Hawaii.

00:43:08.000 I like island cultures at large. 0.95

00:43:10.000 I think part of it is because I'm from a place like Seattle and I have some country roots to me in terms of like I grew up hunting and race cars and just all kinds of redneck-y ass shit in addition to any of this high art bullshit that my mom got me sort of winged on. 0.87

00:43:25.000 and love modern architecture and culture and the classics and reading. 0.98

00:43:31.000 But fucking down there, they're like, oh no, you're really down to earth, dude. 0.98

00:43:36.000 You're cool, you're all right. 0.99

00:43:37.000 You're cool, you're a cool alley. 1.00

00:43:39.000 The rest of those fuckers, like, well, sure. 1.00

00:43:41.000 I mean, if you see the average douchebag American tourist, you know, rude to wage staff. 1.00

00:43:46.000 Yeah, I wouldn't want them in my fucking country either. 1.00

00:43:49.000 Especially a lot of people, like, you don't want some fucking spin on this vacation, you better all kiss my ass. 1.00

00:43:54.000 One of those Jersey douchebags. 1.00

00:43:55.000 Could you imagine one of those Jersey Shore type housewives of Jersey type of douchebags? 1.00

00:44:00.000 Or you could even take the Jersey Shore out of the West Coast.

00:44:03.000 Someone from Huntington Beach. 1.00

00:44:04.000 Yeah, one of those assholes run down there like, bro, bro, you, bro, you know how much I do. 1.00

00:44:08.000 Bro, I just popped so much money on these bottles, bro, bro. 1.00

00:44:11.000 Yeah, that's perfect. 1.00

00:44:12.000 That is a really good impression of one of those assholes. 1.00

00:44:14.000 All you gotta do is say bro 17 times in every sentence and you've got it down. 1.00

00:44:19.000 They all need to chill the fuck out. 0.98

00:44:20.000 Get more tribal tattoos, bro. 1.00

00:44:21.000 Josh Barnett, we need to get those motherfuckers in the gym. 1.00

00:44:24.000 They need to get strangled. 1.00

00:44:25.000 They need to get humiliated. 1.00

00:44:26.000 They need to get brought down to earth so they can calm the fuck down and just be a little nice. 1.00

00:44:33.000 It tastes so much more than that nowadays. 0.98

00:44:35.000 It really does because so many guys, especially on the West Coast now, you know, like the West Coast beach bag, They go to the gym every now and again.

00:44:43.000 They definitely lift.

00:44:43.000 They go there, they go train some jiu-jitsu plays, they train whatever they do.

00:44:46.000 They train and then, I train tempo, I train UFC. And they get in there, they never really, some of them fight a little bit.

00:44:56.000 Granted, they're not fighters, they're just guys that had a couple fights, which is a big difference.

00:45:02.000 Even getting humbled and humiliated in the gym?

00:45:05.000 Not enough.

00:45:06.000 Because outside of the gym, that's a different place.

00:45:10.000 That's some sort of country that only exists there. 0.98

00:45:13.000 And then when I'm out in the general populace, when I'm being an asshole on the streets of Main Street and PCH, It's different. 0.99

00:45:25.000 That is a big problem down there. 0.99

00:45:26.000 There is a lot of those guys, right?

00:45:28.000 There is. 0.90

00:45:30.000 Douchebags are douchebags of every genre. 1.00

00:45:34.000 Every douchebag has this thing. 0.99

00:45:36.000 You've got your hipster douchebag that thinks they're so above you and they're so cultured and everything they say has so much fucking meaning behind it and so much deeper. 0.99

00:45:43.000 It's like, no, you're just... 1.00

00:45:46.000 As bullshit as anybody else. 1.00

00:45:47.000 In fact, more so because you don't even realize that the shit you say doesn't matter. 1.00

00:45:51.000 Or, you know, then you've got the MMA douchebag who runs around and wants to make sure everybody knows that they train and that they can fight and all that kind of bullshit. 1.00

00:46:02.000 You've got your club douchebag. 0.99

00:46:04.000 You've got douchebags of all sorts. 1.00

00:46:05.000 I mean, everybody takes it.

00:46:06.000 There's money douchebags. 1.00

00:46:07.000 There's fitness douchebags.

00:46:09.000 Fitness douchebags are great.

00:46:11.000 You can't even have a conversation about anything but their diet.

00:46:13.000 I mean, that's just wonderful.

00:46:15.000 That's how I want to spend the next 30 minutes sitting at a table with someone that's talking about how many, like, grains of rice they can have and every meal.

00:46:23.000 And it's for, like, a fitness competition.

00:46:27.000 Like, what are you doing?

00:46:28.000 Well, it's like, you know, you sort of do, you know, different poses and, you know, you do, like, maybe a little bit of gymnastics.

00:46:34.000 Like, are you a cheerleader?

00:46:36.000 That seems a lot like cheerleading, man.

00:46:39.000 A little bit like cheerleading, yeah. 0.99

00:46:40.000 What the fuck is going on here doing a fitness competition? 0.99

00:46:42.000 Is there a guy with a megaphone yelling at the same time? 0.99

00:46:45.000 Are you supporting a team?

00:46:47.000 Oh, look at some of those fitness chicks. 1.00

00:46:49.000 They're ridiculous bodies, right? 0.99

00:46:51.000 But even if the minute they step off the stage, they're like, I'm fat. 1.00

00:46:56.000 I'm fat.

00:46:56.000 I'm not looking at me.

00:46:57.000 I'm fat. 0.90

00:46:58.000 I'm fat.

00:47:01.000 It's like, hey, how you doing?

00:47:02.000 Hey, what's up?

00:47:03.000 Hi. 0.76

00:47:03.000 Oh, you're bomb. 0.76

00:47:04.000 You're good looking.

00:47:05.000 Let me talk.

00:47:05.000 Oh, I don't know.

00:47:07.000 I don't want to talk about, you know, boneless chicken breasts.

00:47:09.000 No.

00:47:10.000 You know what?

00:47:12.000 You get bored.

00:47:13.000 I've got somewhere to be, but I'll be right back.

00:47:16.000 Don't worry about that.

00:47:17.000 You need to do a superset in the morning.

00:47:19.000 I'm thinking of Ryan Hills. 0.99

00:47:20.000 I'm going to fucking do it! 0.99

00:47:21.000 I don't want to talk about it! 0.99

00:47:22.000 Jesus Christ!

00:47:23.000 How could anybody consider that to be something interesting?

00:47:26.000 Yeah, we have that.

00:47:27.000 We have an understanding in that I know what a superset is, and I have Ryan Hill.

00:47:31.000 But I don't do it for entertainment.

00:47:33.000 I'm like, oh, you know.

00:47:34.000 Well, I've never understood people that are into, like, I can understand wanting to be in shape, but I can't understand, like, CrossFit competitions and stuff like that.

00:47:42.000 To be the best in the world at working out?

00:47:43.000 Yeah, to be the best in the world at doing cleans.

00:47:46.000 But not an Olympic.

00:47:48.000 Right, right.

00:47:49.000 No, no, no.

00:47:50.000 Like 100 queens in a row with 50 pounds. 1.00

00:47:52.000 What are you doing?

00:47:53.000 What's going on here for real?

00:47:55.000 I was like, oh, bodybuilding. 0.99

00:47:57.000 That's so garbage. 0.99

00:47:58.000 Okay, hold on. 0.97

00:48:00.000 Everybody has a way, you know, they're using the way that they're gonna lift for a specific purpose.

00:48:05.000 Now, I'll say, I think bodybuilding is pointless.

00:48:06.000 Like, what's the point of putting all that time and effort to look, to just look a certain way and never use it?

00:48:12.000 And then you've got CrossFit, which is the same thing, Exact same thing, but just they're in actual better overall shape, and you know, they use it, but they only use it for more working out. 0.78

00:48:24.000 So, they're just basically just jerking off the whole time.

00:48:29.000 That's all anybody is doing. 0.99

00:48:30.000 They're just jerking themselves off. 0.99

00:48:31.000 And, you know, okay, well, why don't you... 0.99

00:48:36.000 Bodybuild because you gotta look better on the screen.

00:48:40.000 Or do powerlifting because you want to be stronger and then do a CrossFit whatever workout for your anaerobic endurance and all this and then take it and then go play a game.

00:48:53.000 Go play football with your friends or go hiking or climb a mountain or go do grappling or something.

00:49:00.000 Take all of that and then apply it into a skilled deal.

00:49:04.000 I saw this video where there was, it was like the gist of it was these two NFL dudes are boxers or they're NFL guys, former NFL. They just come from Boxing Packs and they did some CrossFit workouts and CrossFit gym.

00:49:17.000 LA and then they did it an X amount of time and here's our CrossFit guys that are here all the time.

00:49:22.000 The two dudes, the two CrossFit kids did it faster than the other guys. 0.99

00:49:26.000 And I'm like, but they can catch a fucking football. 0.99

00:49:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:49:29.000 You can just run around with your socks pulled up to your knees like an asshole. 1.00

00:49:33.000 That's all you can do. 1.00

00:49:34.000 Yeah, you can do 100 kipping pull-ups.

00:49:36.000 Great.

00:49:36.000 So what?

00:49:37.000 Great.

00:49:37.000 No one's trying to stop you from doing that.

00:49:38.000 No one, you know what?

00:49:39.000 100,000 people are not going to fall into a stadium and pay you millions of dollars to watch you do kipping pull-ups.

00:49:43.000 Well, sports are about someone trying to do something and someone else trying to stop them from doing something.

00:49:49.000 It's a multi-faceted sort of a thing.

00:49:51.000 When you're doing a bunch of chin-ups, no one's stopping you.

00:49:55.000 It's just you doing a bunch of chin-ups.

00:49:57.000 It's kind of a weird halfway sport.

00:49:59.000 I can see how it's athletic.

00:50:01.000 I can see how it requires willpower and discipline.

00:50:03.000 Amazing shape. 0.98

00:50:06.000 Yeah, it's impressive when guys can do incredible shit, but I would rather learn a martial art. 0.99

00:50:11.000 I'd rather learn how to play a game. 0.99

00:50:13.000 I'd rather learn to do something.

00:50:14.000 I'd rather learn how to play hockey.

00:50:15.000 Anything.

00:50:15.000 There's just got to be more input.

00:50:17.000 There's more going on than just standing there doing cleans.

00:50:23.000 I can't, I don't get it either. 0.99

00:50:25.000 I think that's the shit you do to help you be better at the real thing that you do. 0.98

00:50:31.000 Yeah, the guy I was talking to about it, he's like, well, I just like competition. 0.99

00:50:34.000 I'm like, you got a competition.

00:50:36.000 Go to Jiu-Jitsu class.

00:50:37.000 Take some, get some.

00:50:38.000 Really?

00:50:40.000 Yeah, really?

00:50:40.000 Go join an intramural basketball league.

00:50:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:50:44.000 Do something where you really, fucking play pool. 0.99

00:50:46.000 Go play a pool in a tournament. 0.99

00:50:48.000 Or just do CrossFit, be in shape, And that'd be the way that you stay in shape, and then that'd be it.

00:50:54.000 Don't go running around telling the whole world about it.

00:50:58.000 Don't look at somebody else and be like, well, when I did that, when I did Francine, when I did Zelda, I did it in 17 minutes, and that's...

00:51:07.000 I don't care!

00:51:08.000 Nobody cares!

00:51:08.000 They have different names?

00:51:09.000 Yeah, they have different names.

00:51:12.000 They all have a righteous indignation when they order the green tea at Starbucks.

00:51:26.000 I think the root of all that kind of stuff isn't doing CrossFit.

00:51:30.000 You could substitute CrossFit with anything else.

00:51:34.000 It's just that something comes along It gets to a certain level where people start jumping on it because one, whether it's good or it's bad, it's something that's new and it's different and it is a change from what the norm was so therefore everybody feels like they're improving who they are, they're growing and now they're a part of something that's more special.

00:51:55.000 And therefore, that by a group gets taken way out of context.

00:52:00.000 And then the after effects of that are people becoming douchebags.

00:52:04.000 There's CrossFit douchebags. 1.00

00:52:05.000 There's a douchebag in there. 1.00

00:52:07.000 He's broken down mathematically. 0.98

00:52:09.000 Yeah.

00:52:10.000 By the way, a lot of nice CrossFit people.

00:52:13.000 And there's a lot of people that don't want to just go to a gym and just lift weights and be bored, so they take CrossFit classes.

00:52:17.000 People like the news. 0.95

00:52:18.000 You always remember the shitty stuff. 0.97

00:52:20.000 Of course, yeah. 0.93

00:52:20.000 There's a lot of good stuff about CrossFit, folks. 0.93

00:52:23.000 We're not shitting on CrossFit.

00:52:24.000 Working out and staying healthy is awesome.

00:52:26.000 I love that CrossFit has looked back to older, simpler ways of training and brought that to the populace.

00:52:34.000 I think that's great. 0.95

00:52:35.000 You know, strongman type stuff, old school, some of the old school thought processes of just, you know, grab heavy shit and lift it. 0.93

00:52:41.000 But, you know, there's a lot of flawed reasoning, in my opinion, behind some of that too. 0.94

00:52:45.000 And also, like, I get so sick of the, oh, I, you know, I'm training like a fighter.

00:52:49.000 Like, no, you're not.

00:52:50.000 You're not a fighter.

00:52:51.000 No, he's beating you up every day.

00:52:53.000 No, it's not the same.

00:52:54.000 No one's trying to choke the life out of your brain.

00:52:55.000 No.

00:52:56.000 Yeah, and if you, you know, you go to kickboxing class at night, that doesn't make you a fighter either.

00:53:00.000 Like, fighters are fighters.

00:53:01.000 People that do martial arts do martial art, martial art, you know, they train.

00:53:04.000 Training is, just know what, just be realistic.

00:53:08.000 And there's nothing wrong with that.

00:53:09.000 You know, if you're not going to be, A fighter, even though you train in martial arts, that's okay.

00:53:15.000 People talk to me about coming and training at the gym or whatever, and I said, you know what?

00:53:19.000 Don't do it because you want to be a fighter.

00:53:21.000 If you really want to be a fighter, then be a fighter.

00:53:23.000 And be a fighter to every level that you need to.

00:53:26.000 Which means you're probably never going to amount to anything with fighting.

00:53:29.000 Because the odds are totally against you.

00:53:32.000 But that's not the reason you do it.

00:53:34.000 Not because of success that you think you're going to get from it.

00:53:36.000 You do it because you're driven.

00:53:37.000 And you love it.

00:53:38.000 And you have to do it.

00:53:39.000 And that's the only way that you can ever fully realize the utmost of your potential.

00:53:44.000 More people are going to fail than are going to succeed.

00:53:46.000 But honestly, if you are better when you end it than when you started, and you don't have any regrets, then you absolutely succeeded.

00:53:53.000 You didn't get the medals.

00:53:54.000 You didn't get the money.

00:53:57.000 But you took you as you stood here today and became something better and more encompassing and have lived a life experience because you decided to do something and do it like you mean it.

00:54:08.000 And that's hard for people to wrap their heads around that, you know, I go into the gym, I just want to be better when I step off the mat than I was when I stepped on it.

00:54:19.000 And some days aren't so great, some days are amazing.

00:54:22.000 And I also have like this huge mean streak, like I hate losing and whatever, but I also, and as much as that, It's always a part of who I am.

00:54:32.000 I have to temper that and I'll have to look at all the data that comes from everything that I do when I'm in the gym and then break it down and then be more effective with it.

00:54:40.000 I can't just think, that guy, he was out jabbing me today.

00:54:43.000 No, I mean, yeah. 1.00

00:54:44.000 In my head, I'm thinking, I'm going to jab the living shit out of that fucker until his dick falls off. 1.00

00:54:50.000 That's how much I'm going to jab at dude. 1.00

00:54:52.000 I'm going to jab him so many times that he's never going to want to get in the ring with me ever again, ever, period.

00:54:57.000 You think this is about training, actually?

00:54:59.000 Yes.

00:55:00.000 But, I also have to sit back, but I'll go, why was he able to jab me?

00:55:04.000 What did I do wrong?

00:55:05.000 What did I do right?

00:55:06.000 Why is his jab so effective?

00:55:08.000 How do I take that and make it mine?

00:55:10.000 Or how do I... Analyze that and see the patterns before they become a problem for me.

00:55:16.000 That's very important, isn't it, in the development of a martial artist to see someone who's at an incredibly high level and realize that that is where the mark is set.

00:55:24.000 You can't be the best at everything.

00:55:25.000 There's somebody out there, there's probably plenty of people out there, that I can just annihilate and use as a toothpick, use their bones as toothpicks when I'm done with them.

00:55:37.000 But chances are, out of that group of people that I'm talking about, there are people within that, there's things that they do better than I do.

00:55:45.000 That may be that one thing, or maybe a couple things, but they're better at it than I am, by far.

00:55:51.000 So I could look at them and take something from it.

00:55:53.000 It doesn't matter how much better of a fighter I am, there's so much to be seen or taken in.

00:55:59.000 There's a million ways that the body can move.

00:56:04.000 One way, you know, and I realize that there's some things I'm never going to be great at because of physicality, physical limitations, injuries, whatever.

00:56:11.000 It's just, that's okay. 0.98

00:56:12.000 Like, I'm never going to be able to do rubber guard because my knees are too fucked up. 0.99

00:56:16.000 What's that? 0.98

00:56:17.000 Which one would you need?

00:56:17.000 Oh, I've torn ligaments in them and they're just...

00:56:20.000 The meniscus has been repaired on the right before.

00:56:24.000 They won't take it.

00:56:26.000 If I pull on them too hard like that, it'll start to loosen up.

00:56:29.000 You're a leg lock master.

00:56:31.000 Yes.

00:56:32.000 Man, that's got to be kind of tricky to be a guy with injured knees and be a guy who...

00:56:37.000 Right.

00:56:38.000 I just have a very good feel for it and I know what I can get away with.

00:56:42.000 I know a lot of leg locks to your ankle goes before your knees.

00:56:46.000 All my ankles are not the greatest thing either.

00:56:50.000 You just sort of understand what you're dealing with and then go from there.

00:56:54.000 But I have, nonetheless, since I know that I'm never going to be someone that can effectively be a good rubber guard guy, I pay attention because like Shannon Baszler likes to use those setups.

00:57:07.000 So she's working on something.

00:57:08.000 I can go to her and go, okay, look at you, you know, get the angle like this because look at the way that that puts your body weight and your pressure against their joint there.

00:57:17.000 And this is where now you're creating a weakness in them at this angle.

00:57:20.000 So you can defeat that That angle here.

00:57:22.000 Or, hey, this guy's really good or upper guard.

00:57:25.000 Now watch how he's going to try and get these angles and these positions on you because this is where it's going to take you out of position.

00:57:31.000 So this is higher and you're going to have to defeat that because fulcrums and levers.

00:57:35.000 It's all relative.

00:57:37.000 Do you work on your flexibility a lot?

00:57:39.000 I do.

00:57:39.000 It's just hard.

00:57:41.000 It's hard to get there and I'm older and How much of a fighter's success do you think is a timing issue, like getting involved in a sport at the right age, the right time to get excellent at something?

00:57:53.000 How much of it is bulldog determination and just the ability to learn from your mistakes and press on despite the bad feelings?

00:58:01.000 It's mental.

00:58:03.000 The mental aspect takes the most of it because the mental aspect is the thing that's going to not only make you want to fight when you want to quit, But it'll also make you step back and realize that all these things, all these circumstances came about within these moments and how to take them, change them, understand them, and make the appropriate changes and additions and fashions from your game to be better.

00:58:31.000 You have to be analytical like that and you have to remove emotion from those circumstances because once you get emotionally attached and worked up about it, then it will...

00:58:43.000 Defeat your ability to be as useful as possible.

00:58:46.000 Especially in the case of a lot of people, most people, are never going to be really successful with fighting, especially if they choose it as their occupation.

00:58:57.000 It's not going to make the money for them that they want.

00:58:59.000 But it should deter somebody and they should just do it because they love it.

00:59:02.000 I was watching a lecture by Alan DeBain, I think his name is, something like that, on pessimism.

00:59:08.000 It's a philosophical lecture on pessimism and about how one of the reasons why you get so upset about things and you get so worked up is because you have these expectations that things are always going to work out well.

00:59:19.000 But the reality of it is most things don't work out at all.

00:59:22.000 In fact, there's almost always more failure than there is success.

00:59:25.000 But you're so primed for success.

00:59:27.000 You have such a belief that this will always work in your favor.

00:59:31.000 It's like his example was of traffic.

00:59:33.000 You get so mad and angry and honking and pissed off behind the wheel in traffic.

00:59:37.000 But the thing is that there's always traffic.

00:59:39.000 Traffic is not the exception, it is the norm.

00:59:43.000 So when you encounter it, why should you be so mad?

00:59:45.000 It's always there.

00:59:47.000 And it always occurs.

00:59:48.000 So it's more unusual for there to not be any traffic at all.

00:59:52.000 But we have this concept in our head that even getting behind the wheel and driving down the road, it's all going to work out for us.

00:59:59.000 Instead of us having to waste, just like every other schmo, because things are the way they are.

01:00:04.000 Yeah, that's a funny way of looking at it.

01:00:08.000 One thing is that we can't appreciate failure as a tool for success.

01:00:13.000 You know, because every time that I've ever, especially as a comedian, one of the best, most motivating factors is bombing on stage. 0.99

01:00:21.000 When you eat a dick on stage, you never want that to fucking happen again. 0.99

01:00:25.000 And you'll tighten everything up. 1.00

01:00:27.000 You'll go over your material with a fine-tooth comb, think about your delivery, you listen to recordings.

01:00:32.000 You don't want that feeling.

01:00:33.000 How long does a joke suck before it becomes good? 0.58

01:00:37.000 You never know, man. 0.96

01:00:38.000 You never know.

01:00:39.000 Sometimes you'll come up with a joke and it's perfect the moment it comes up.

01:00:43.000 And then other times it might take a year for a joke to evolve.

01:00:48.000 I remember Louis C.K. was telling me that Chris Rock has this one really controversial bit.

01:00:54.000 He goes, I love black people, I hate niggas. 1.00

01:00:56.000 You ever heard that bit? 1.00

01:00:58.000 I don't think I have. 0.92

01:00:59.000 It's a brilliant bit about the difference between, in his mind, a black guy and A nigga. 1.00

01:01:07.000 And it took a long time to work, apparently.

01:01:10.000 It took like a year.

01:01:11.000 It was bombing for a year.

01:01:12.000 He would go on and do it and he just couldn't get it to work.

01:01:14.000 And then it became, eventually, it became like a closing bit.

01:01:17.000 It became a bit that was just a destroying, perfect, old-school, classic bit.

01:01:21.000 But it's one of those things where every bit's got its own timeline.

01:01:25.000 It has its own shelf life, too.

01:01:27.000 Some bits are timeless, and some bits, they're only good.

01:01:29.000 They're a monster for six months.

01:01:30.000 Maybe it's topical. 0.53

01:01:32.000 Maybe things change.

01:01:33.000 You can't make a joke about VHS tapes anymore. 0.99

01:01:35.000 Nobody gives a shit. 0.99

01:01:37.000 Time moves on. 0.99

01:01:38.000 I used to have a great joke about Nextel phones. 0.98

01:01:41.000 Nobody gives a fuck about Nextel phones. 0.67

01:01:43.000 Some of them last for a long time, and some of them don't. 0.96

01:01:47.000 Some of them are done the moment you say it the first time on stage.

01:01:50.000 That's it.

01:01:51.000 That's its lifespan.

01:01:52.000 It's funny only the first time hearing it and that is it.

01:01:55.000 There's some of that and there's some bits that are a fully formed bit the moment out of your mouth and they last for years.

01:02:01.000 It's totally different. 0.70

01:02:04.000 It completely depends on the subject, depends on what you're trying to say, how silly or complex it is.

01:02:11.000 Depends on, I imagine, also what bits led into that.

01:02:14.000 Sure, yeah.

01:02:15.000 What bits go from it.

01:02:16.000 Not just jokes being said, but what tone is being said.

01:02:20.000 So all of a sudden you're going one direction and you change gears.

01:02:22.000 Sometimes that immediate hard stop catches people off guard and it makes them laugh.

01:02:27.000 Or at least it gets their mind spinning in a way that sets up the next stuff.

01:02:31.000 Or sometimes it just confuses them and fucks the whole rest of the next ten minutes of jokes up.

01:02:37.000 Just knowing that you can be a comedian.

01:02:39.000 You can easily be a comedian.

01:02:40.000 Just having this conversation and knowing that.

01:02:42.000 I always tell people it's not that complicated, but it's not easy.

01:02:46.000 It's a weird, bizarre trip.

01:02:48.000 The closest I've ever been to a comedian was sitting with a friend who was a comedian, and they were going to go on, and I'm just hanging in there, and it's this pre-show, and a bunch of us are all just hanging out in the aisle way, and I'm just Being me, and cracking stupid jokes, and doing wordplay, and whatever.

01:03:05.000 Someone's like, you know, you working tonight?

01:03:07.000 And I'm like...

01:03:09.000 I got a little boner, and I was like, very little.

01:03:12.000 And I just thought, no, I'm not a comedian at all.

01:03:16.000 The way you think I'm funny, I like that.

01:03:17.000 You can do it.

01:03:18.000 It's not that complicated.

01:03:20.000 It's almost like a normal skill that everyone sort of has in a small form.

01:03:27.000 Most people at least try to have like one or two things they can say that are witty in their life.

01:03:32.000 It's just a matter of cultivating those and becoming like a witty farmer.

01:03:36.000 How many people can keep their nerve too though?

01:03:39.000 It's a little of that, yeah. 0.98

01:03:40.000 If I had to get on stage and deliver stand-up, that would freak me the fuck.

01:03:47.000 That's way more fearful than fighting even five guys all at one time. 0.85

01:03:51.000 That's okay by me.

01:03:53.000 You say that, but once you do it a couple times, it would be easy.

01:03:56.000 Dude, I have been in some of these public speaking scenarios where people go, oh, you're so great. 0.89

01:04:01.000 I go, I'm shitting myself. 0.50

01:04:02.000 It's so scary. 0.99

01:04:04.000 But it's crazy shitting yourself. 0.60

01:04:07.000 It doesn't make any sense. 0.98

01:04:08.000 Like, there's no real fear.

01:04:10.000 Exactly.

01:04:10.000 And that's a hard thing to get past is that in my mind, I know that...

01:04:16.000 That all this fear is all self-created. 1.00

01:04:19.000 If everybody thought I was an idiot, who cares? 1.00

01:04:22.000 Right. 1.00

01:04:23.000 It only matters what I think. 1.00

01:04:24.000 If I don't think I'm an idiot and I'm okay with it, then fuck you all. 1.00

01:04:27.000 Like, go fucking, you can all burn. 1.00

01:04:29.000 I don't give a shit. 1.00

01:04:30.000 Doesn't it take a long time to get to that point of comfort, though? 0.99

01:04:32.000 That is part of being a man. 0.98

01:04:34.000 One of the most important parts of being a man is getting to a point where you genuinely, truly don't give a fuck if someone doesn't like what you like. 0.98

01:04:42.000 It's like, I know what I like. 0.99

01:04:44.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:04:45.000 Very few people really don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:04:47.000 And even once we get to that point, where is the one Area. 0.98

01:04:52.000 Well, a couple areas, I should say, where we make those exceptions. 0.98

01:04:54.000 Pussy. 1.00

01:04:55.000 Yes. 1.00

01:04:56.000 Pussy. 1.00

01:04:56.000 Pussy breaks you. 1.00

01:04:58.000 Pussy ruins the mind. 1.00

01:04:59.000 Breaks a man. 1.00

01:05:01.000 Oh, pussy, you're tragic. 1.00

01:05:03.000 It can break a man. 1.00

01:05:05.000 Pussy, you know, I was, one of my, this song I've been listening to, from Every Time I Die, I got this great lyric. 0.99

01:05:10.000 It says, it's not lack of ambition that keeps, it's women not lack of ambition that keeps good men bedridden. 0.99

01:05:17.000 It's true.

01:05:18.000 I know dudes that it becomes such a massive part of their life.

01:05:22.000 It eclipses all else.

01:05:24.000 I have a friend. 1.00

01:05:25.000 I've seen him glued to his fucking phone. 1.00

01:05:30.000 It should be integrated into his body. 1.00

01:05:32.000 He's on it so much.

01:05:34.000 And yet, it's constantly shattered.

01:05:37.000 Little text here, there.

01:05:38.000 Oh, well, an hour's gone by on this one, so I need to send a response.

01:05:41.000 And just constant... 0.99

01:05:43.000 Communication between women the whole time because that's the amount of effort it takes to bang that much fucking tail. 1.00

01:05:51.000 And I remember sitting there thinking, I don't have the patience for this at all. 1.00

01:05:56.000 Like, it'll just get to a certain point that if I deal with enough stupid shit, I'm like, you're a fucking idiot. 1.00

01:06:00.000 Get off of my fucking phone. 1.00

01:06:02.000 Lose my number. 1.00

01:06:03.000 I don't want to talk to you anymore.

01:06:04.000 It's hard enough for me to even have a conversation with you with my thumbs. 0.99

01:06:07.000 Let alone have to think about the idea of putting aside a block of time to run into you to work you up to the point of trying just to have sex with you.

01:06:18.000 Yeah, it gets to a weird point where some people just want to chat all day.

01:06:22.000 What's up?

01:06:23.000 Like you get a text like, what's up?

01:06:25.000 Nothing.

01:06:26.000 What's up with you?

01:06:27.000 Thinking of going to the gym? 1.00

01:06:29.000 Then fucking go. 1.00

01:06:31.000 Then fucking go. 1.00

01:06:33.000 Cut this shit. 1.00

01:06:34.000 But don't tell me how it turns out. 1.00

01:06:36.000 That's what your Facebook is for.

01:06:38.000 To tell me that you're going to go to the gym.

01:06:39.000 To tell me how good of a workout you had.

01:06:43.000 You've got to beat up with them face-to-face.

01:06:45.000 And you'll listen.

01:06:46.000 Time is very precious for me. 0.99

01:06:48.000 I'm a vagina. 1.00

01:06:49.000 Vagina, vagina, vagina, man. 1.00

01:06:51.000 So it takes a certain amount of... 1.00

01:06:53.000 And this is probably why I'm a single man.

01:06:56.000 But... 1.00

01:06:57.000 Also, but that's also why men try so hard to be bad motherfuckers. 1.00

01:07:01.000 They try so hard to be bad motherfuckers partially. 1.00

01:07:04.000 One of the reasons to dominate is to be more attractive to women. 1.00

01:07:08.000 Yes, naturally. 1.00

01:07:08.000 But I gotta tell you, the difference between being a real bad motherfucker and being an outwardly seemingly bad motherfucker is night and day. 1.00

01:07:16.000 If you're an outwardly, if you seem like you're a bad motherfucker... 1.00

01:07:20.000 Than most people think you are. 0.99

01:07:22.000 Right. 1.00

01:07:23.000 The real bad motherfuckers, nobody really ever knows it. 1.00

01:07:25.000 There's a few of those. 1.00

01:07:26.000 They don't have to tell the world.

01:07:28.000 It's like someone asked me the other day about if I ever get into street fights or anything like that.

01:07:32.000 And I go, no.

01:07:34.000 Because the people, even when I want to fight them, they won't.

01:07:36.000 And they're like, oh, who would fight you?

01:07:38.000 And I go, they don't know who I am.

01:07:40.000 I'm not famous.

01:07:41.000 I'm not a celebrity.

01:07:43.000 You are amongst martial artists.

01:07:45.000 Yeah, right. 0.98

01:07:46.000 If you give me my little pocket of people, yeah, I'm fucking somebody there. 0.99

01:07:50.000 On SureDog, you're huge. 0.96

01:07:51.000 Yeah, on SureDog, I'm so popular.

01:07:54.000 I'm so amazingly...

01:07:55.000 I'm just all flammable. 0.99

01:07:56.000 But in the rest of the world, nobody knows who the fuck I am. 0.99

01:07:59.000 I'm okay with that. 0.98

01:08:00.000 So, you know, I've had guys eyeball me, whatever. 0.98

01:08:04.000 I've seen the fucking signs of it. 0.98

01:08:06.000 You'd think if anybody knows when a fight's going to happen, it'd be a fighter. 0.99

01:08:09.000 Right.

01:08:10.000 So, when I go... 0.75

01:08:11.000 Or if someone's being a dick deliberately in my presence or to a woman that's around or whatever and I step up and I say something and they're like, I go, people don't want to fight me. 0.98

01:08:21.000 And they go, well, because you're big. 0.98

01:08:21.000 I go, no, no, no. 0.98

01:08:22.000 It's got nothing to do with any of that. 0.98

01:08:23.000 It's because when you look into somebody's eyes, you can tell who really wants to fucking fuck people up and who really doesn't. 0.96

01:08:30.000 And I don't get upset. 0.98

01:08:32.000 I don't yell.

01:08:33.000 I don't scream.

01:08:34.000 I don't have to do any of that.

01:08:36.000 I just look at them.

01:08:37.000 I tell them how it's going to be.

01:08:39.000 And I let them know if this is what we want to do.

01:08:42.000 I'll enjoy it.

01:08:43.000 Let's please make this happen.

01:08:45.000 I've said to one guy, I'm like, how many friends you got?

01:08:48.000 He's like, why?

01:08:49.000 Because you don't have enough.

01:08:51.000 Let me just tell you that much. 0.99

01:08:52.000 Or I told one dude, you don't know anybody that knows anybody that knows anybody that knows anybody that can kick my ass. 0.99

01:08:56.000 So, I don't know what you're going to do here, bud. 0.99

01:09:00.000 You're in a bad way.

01:09:01.000 That's hilarious.

01:09:02.000 I laughed at a guy at an Anthrax concert.

01:09:03.000 I'm standing there with a girl.

01:09:05.000 And he keeps trying to nudge through.

01:09:07.000 People keep trying to nudge through like right where we're at.

01:09:10.000 And I'm like, of all places, you see a dude and a chick go somewhere else.

01:09:13.000 So I'm standing right there and I decide that's it.

01:09:16.000 They're going to have to start going around.

01:09:17.000 So I keep my elbows out.

01:09:18.000 I feel this dude bumping into me on the right side.

01:09:21.000 He can't get through.

01:09:21.000 So he tries to get through on the left, but I'm just standing tall.

01:09:24.000 So he's trying to get around it, but he can't.

01:09:26.000 It's like pushing him over him running himself into my own elbow.

01:09:29.000 And then he starts getting mad.

01:09:30.000 He's yelling at me about something.

01:09:33.000 I'm going, what?

01:09:35.000 I'm just trying to get through, man.

01:09:37.000 I go, I said this, that, and I said blah, blah, blah.

01:09:41.000 I like it.

01:09:41.000 I go, anthrax is playing.

01:09:43.000 I can't fucking hear what you're saying. 0.99

01:09:45.000 And he's looking at me crazy and I go, just walk up to the front. 0.99

01:09:48.000 And he gets all fucking wild eyed and he's looking at me crazy and I go, is this what you want to do? 0.86

01:09:53.000 Yeah, I just started laughing at him. 0.94

01:09:55.000 I go, you just need to keep moving.

01:09:56.000 And eventually the girl in front reaches up and grabs a hold of his arm and pulls down and goes, don't do this.

01:10:02.000 Really don't do this.

01:10:03.000 I'm just smiling the whole time. 0.99

01:10:05.000 And he just fucking, of course, he leaves. 0.99

01:10:06.000 It's all about the posturing. 1.00

01:10:08.000 You get upset, man.

01:10:09.000 Look at you.

01:10:09.000 You're reoccurring this in your mind.

01:10:11.000 You're recreating this in your mind.

01:10:13.000 I can see your pulse quicken, your testosterone racing.

01:10:15.000 The problem is that I stay calm, but...

01:10:18.000 But you carry a grudge.

01:10:19.000 You carry a story inside of you.

01:10:20.000 Oh, I'm a Scorpio.

01:10:21.000 So apparently, according to all the books that they say out there, I carry grudge.

01:10:25.000 But it's also...

01:10:26.000 By the way, that's total stripper talk. 1.00

01:10:27.000 Yeah, it is.

01:10:28.000 I'm a Scorpio.

01:10:29.000 I'm a Scorpio.

01:10:29.000 I'm spicy.

01:10:30.000 I was a sissier.

01:10:31.000 Ow! 1.00

01:10:32.000 But the thing is, I love being in those violent confrontations.

01:10:38.000 Why do you like that? 0.99

01:10:40.000 Is it because when you were picked on when you were a kid, you still harbor some resentment towards people that would fuck with you? 0.99

01:10:45.000 Because you're a nice guy. 0.99

01:10:46.000 You would never fuck with anybody. 0.99

01:10:48.000 But if someone was fucking with you, it's almost like now you have a license to pay back. 1.00

01:10:51.000 I can't put a real finger on it. 0.99

01:10:54.000 It was...

01:10:55.000 I knew that I enjoyed fighting when I was a kid, like being in the fights.

01:11:00.000 I didn't start the fights, but if you gave me a reason, cool.

01:11:04.000 And then my mom said I was the angriest kid ever.

01:11:07.000 She said, well, when I was born, I came out frowning.

01:11:10.000 I looked like Ron Paul, and she tried to hug me, and I stiff-armed her.

01:11:16.000 That's hilarious. 0.99

01:11:17.000 And she said it broke her fucking heart. 1.00

01:11:20.000 I wouldn't let my own mother hold me. 1.00

01:11:22.000 Wow. 1.00

01:11:23.000 And I was yellow, and I was jaundiced, and I was an asshole, apparently. 0.99

01:11:26.000 I just came out, I was like... 0.99

01:11:28.000 Wow.

01:11:30.000 And she said as a kid, I just...

01:11:32.000 Once I... Blew up about, if I got angry, I got so angry.

01:11:38.000 It wasn't like temper tantrum angry.

01:11:39.000 It was like fumingly, raging, violent, like flames and daggers.

01:11:44.000 I wonder if that's connected between your health at birth, you know, being in poor health at birth and being like brought into this world in a bad situation where you're uncomfortable, yellow and jaundiced. 0.98

01:11:54.000 I wonder if that like set the stage for an angry, or maybe you got some Viking genes too.

01:11:58.000 I might, I might.

01:11:59.000 You might got some Viking genes in there.

01:12:01.000 What are you from?

01:12:03.000 I bought those at Nordstrom.

01:12:05.000 Are they true religion Viking jeans with a Chuck Norris gusset?

01:12:09.000 It's got horns and a beard on the crotch.

01:12:11.000 As long as it has plenty of really big buttons, snaps, intricately carved.

01:12:17.000 It's not a place to hang my handbags.

01:12:19.000 And it has to be pre-damaged.

01:12:21.000 Pre-damaged, of course.

01:12:23.000 It has to look like it's already been through, you know, the poetic Eddas. 0.97

01:12:26.000 That's the only thing that's almost as gay as the sagging pants, is the cut-up pants. 1.00

01:12:32.000 The chopped up, distressed. 1.00

01:12:33.000 The fuck is that? 1.00

01:12:35.000 I went to one place and I was like, do you have any fucking pants that don't have holes in them? 1.00

01:12:40.000 Can I just buy a pair of goddamn jeans? 0.99

01:12:42.000 I like to have a regular pair of jeans. 0.99

01:12:44.000 I'm not a child.

01:12:45.000 Sorry.

01:12:45.000 This is not going to last.

01:12:47.000 This fake worn out jeans. 1.00

01:12:49.000 This shit is temporary. 1.00

01:12:50.000 I'm not buying a fucking pair of jeans that are fake worn out. 1.00

01:12:54.000 It's one thing you wear a pair of jeans out. 0.99

01:12:56.000 There's pride in that. 0.99

01:12:57.000 These are jeans I've had for 10 fucking years. 1.00

01:13:00.000 They're comfortable as shit. 1.00

01:13:01.000 Yeah, there's some holes in them, but I broke them in, man. 1.00

01:13:04.000 I banged so-and-so in those jeans.

01:13:05.000 I can't let them go.

01:13:06.000 There you go.

01:13:07.000 I don't know if I have any...

01:13:09.000 I want to actually take that DNA test that tells you why...

01:13:12.000 Yeah, tell you if...

01:13:13.000 Because I know I'm German, and I know I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian, and I've got some English in me, but...

01:13:19.000 I know I got Neanderthal in me.

01:13:21.000 I know I do.

01:13:22.000 Look at this brow wrench. 0.99

01:13:24.000 Fucking brother-in-law used to call me the eagle from the Muppets. 0.99

01:13:29.000 The eagle from the Muppets of Frown! 1.00

01:13:31.000 I never even thought of that!

01:13:33.000 The eagle is such a prominent frown!

01:13:35.000 Yeah, yeah, so, uh... 1.00

01:13:37.000 You can asshole, Pat. 1.00

01:13:38.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

01:13:39.000 That's a funny fucking visual. 0.99

01:13:40.000 But I want to take that test to also see if I got the warrior gene. 0.98

01:13:44.000 Oh yeah, there is a warrior gene, right?

01:13:45.000 Which is supposed to make people kind of gnarly.

01:13:48.000 And the thing is...

01:13:49.000 I don't have to have anything personal or any grudge.

01:13:52.000 I don't have to be mad to get into a fight.

01:13:55.000 Enjoy it.

01:13:56.000 Even getting hit, hitting back, just the whole thing.

01:13:59.000 I know for me, fighting is the time I feel most alive and free in the entire world because I can go out there and do just about anything I can do with who I am and no one's going to try and stop me.

01:14:11.000 Do you prefer old school rules?

01:14:13.000 Do you prefer Supergirl rules? 0.99

01:14:15.000 I prefer...

01:14:16.000 For those who don't know, Supergirl with soccer kicks, stomps... 1.00

01:14:19.000 I prefer everything.

01:14:20.000 Headbutts, elbows, no knuckles?

01:14:22.000 I understand the...

01:14:23.000 No gloves or gloves?

01:14:25.000 I think they were gloves.

01:14:26.000 Do you prefer gloves or no gloves?

01:14:28.000 I prefer gloves, only for your own benefit.

01:14:31.000 Or broken hands.

01:14:32.000 Yeah, but not to say that it's really been doing much for broken hands.

01:14:35.000 You just broke one of your hands.

01:14:36.000 Broke this one, Cormier's got a broken...

01:14:38.000 A lot of broken hands in MMA. Yeah.

01:14:41.000 Super common, right?

01:14:42.000 Yeah, very.

01:14:44.000 Is there any way around that?

01:14:47.000 It's hard to say.

01:14:48.000 I don't know if it's an equipment thing.

01:14:50.000 Is it possible to pad the gloves more, or is it just that...

01:14:53.000 Well, I'll say this, but one thing I noticed in Pride, there wasn't that many broken hands.

01:14:56.000 Yeah, well, I was asking that once, too.

01:14:58.000 And I was saying, is it a better glove?

01:15:00.000 Is the Pride glove a thicker glove?

01:15:03.000 Not necessarily.

01:15:05.000 Chell Sonnen would say, because it's all fixed fights.

01:15:06.000 Oh, of course.

01:15:07.000 You know, Chell Sonnen would say that. 0.99

01:15:10.000 He's so crazy. 1.00

01:15:11.000 When he says some of that shit about pride fights, come on, man. 1.00

01:15:16.000 Some of that is just ridiculous. 1.00

01:15:18.000 It's a brilliant stance to take. 0.99

01:15:21.000 It's such a fucking aggressive, just obnoxious thing to say. 0.99

01:15:26.000 Someone is bound to get run. 1.00

01:15:27.000 Now, who's dumber? 0.99

01:15:29.000 The person that gets mad or the person who says it? 0.99

01:15:31.000 The person that gets mad, clearly.

01:15:32.000 Of course.

01:15:32.000 But the problem is, there's a wee bit of truth in the fact that some fights in Pride were staged.

01:15:39.000 Like, if you look at Coleman, Takata, it's pretty obvious there was something going on there.

01:15:44.000 There's a few every now and then.

01:15:45.000 I mean, you look at, like, Crow Cop Noguera. 1.00

01:15:48.000 That's a real fucking fight. 0.99

01:15:50.000 There's no doubt about it. 1.00

01:15:51.000 That's a real fucking fight. 0.99

01:15:53.000 But, man, you watch Coleman tap out to that heel hook from Takata. 0.99

01:15:57.000 Ah!

01:15:59.000 Wait a minute!

01:16:00.000 Okay!

01:16:01.000 Oh, dramatic pause. 0.97

01:16:03.000 I mean, that was ridiculous. 0.90

01:16:05.000 It's not the best example of Pride. 0.70

01:16:08.000 What was it like being, you were there in the golden era, man.

01:16:11.000 I mean, you were there during the time when Pride was, in my opinion, like, put on some of the greatest shows in mixed martial arts history.

01:16:20.000 The Pride Openweight Grand Prix.

01:16:22.000 This is true.

01:16:23.000 The middleweight Grand Prix.

01:16:25.000 I mean, you just look at just the historic fights like Minotaur versus Bob Sapp.

01:16:30.000 I mean, there's some crazy historic fights from your era.

01:16:34.000 You were there, man. 1.00

01:16:36.000 You were there for all that shit. 1.00

01:16:37.000 What was that like? 1.00

01:16:39.000 Un-fucking-believable, dude.

01:16:40.000 What was the biggest crowd you did? 0.91

01:16:43.000 The biggest crowd I ever fought in front of was 50,000.

01:16:47.000 The biggest crowd I ever stepped out in front of and at least grabbed a mic was 93. Jesus Christ!

01:16:53.000 And people want to tell you how big MMA is here, and I go, it is.

01:16:57.000 And in America, once it hits the media, the way American media is, things blow up in such a different capacity than they do in Japan.

01:17:07.000 Man, we were stepping in front of 30,000, 50,000 on a regular basis.

01:17:12.000 I did a show with Hulk Hogan.

01:17:15.000 Hulk Hogan wrestled Chono and 55,000 people and I fought Yoshiki Takahashi and defended my King of Pancras belt in the Tokyo Dome.

01:17:24.000 Those shows were on such a different level than what we see here in the States and the feeling, of course the feeling is going to be different in terms of culturally it's going to be way different because you have Japan, this incredible homogeneous society with their ways and Very specific versus America, so try and compare that sort of thing is not really fair.

01:17:47.000 Right.

01:17:47.000 Apples and oranges.

01:17:49.000 Right.

01:17:49.000 It really is.

01:17:49.000 People are different everywhere.

01:17:50.000 You go hold those fights in Uganda or you hold them in Transylvania or whatever, they're always going to be different because people's cultures are different. 0.99

01:17:57.000 Right.

01:18:00.000 But they felt so dynamic, those shows.

01:18:05.000 They were so big.

01:18:07.000 It wasn't just the lights, it was the mood, the setting.

01:18:10.000 When that music would start up and the lights would drop.

01:18:13.000 Dun, dun, dun, dun.

01:18:15.000 And you're sitting in back and I'm fighting like ninth or something.

01:18:18.000 I'm all of a sudden, I'm just wired.

01:18:20.000 I'm ready to go. 0.98

01:18:21.000 I'm like, let's just fucking grab swords and start screaming and running down the ramp. 0.95

01:18:24.000 They add a lot of pageantry to those events, too. 0.99

01:18:26.000 I mean, look, I did not appreciate it sometimes when I was like, just get to the fucking fights already. 0.97

01:18:31.000 These things are like six hours long. 0.98

01:18:33.000 You were so jazzed up in the beginning, but looking back, man, when everybody would line up, you know, and they would introduce fighters one at a time and they would all line up, you're like, wow, this is going to be a fucking epic night.

01:18:46.000 It really did build it up.

01:18:48.000 It really did make it more of a special event, you know?

01:18:52.000 I mean...

01:18:53.000 The UFC, they've kind of done away with even, like, some of the walk-ins.

01:18:56.000 Like, when we're pressed for time, sometimes guys are already in the cage, and, you know, there's no walk-in at all.

01:19:02.000 And Bellator doesn't even have walk-ins, really.

01:19:04.000 Yeah, nothing.

01:19:05.000 And I, you know, a TV product definitely changes things, and in Japan, their TV system is way different than we run over here.

01:19:12.000 Didn't Joe Healdi Olivera get burned?

01:19:14.000 Yes, he did.

01:19:15.000 Yeah, he was a big fan of Michael Jackson's, and he thought it would be, you know, real cool to set himself on fire before he went out and fought.

01:19:23.000 No, what really happened?

01:19:24.000 You should have seen his jerry curl before he lit up.

01:19:26.000 Oh, jerry curl.

01:19:28.000 How's another thing? 0.98

01:19:28.000 How the fuck did that ever happen? 0.98

01:19:30.000 Another jerry curl and sag jeans and pre-ripped jeans. 0.99

01:19:35.000 How the fuck did those exist? 0.98

01:19:36.000 Nah, Johil got hit with... 0.99

01:19:37.000 He was in the wrong spot.

01:19:40.000 I don't know if the marker was wrong or he lost in translation.

01:19:45.000 And he got hit with some pyrotechnics and it just lit him up.

01:19:49.000 Now, thankfully, he...

01:19:51.000 With the burns he was able to come back and he even fought again in Pride.

01:19:56.000 So I'm really... 0.93

01:19:58.000 I'm really glad that that was the case, because Jogil de Oliveira, Luta Libre legend, old school NHB dude, that's fucking sad. 0.72

01:20:07.000 Yeah, that is sad.

01:20:08.000 I mean, for a lot of people who don't know, he was one of the original guys back in the day.

01:20:12.000 You know, he fought in some of those Vale Tudo events.

01:20:16.000 Yeah, Brazilian Vale Tudo, yeah.

01:20:17.000 Yeah, the bare knuckle, no rules events. 0.99

01:20:20.000 They were so crazy, like when Gary Goodrich fought the Pedro and grabbed his dick. 1.00

01:20:25.000 Literally reached into his pants. 1.00

01:20:26.000 There was no rule against it. 1.00

01:20:28.000 So reached into his pants and crushed his balls in his dick, in his hands. 1.00

01:20:32.000 Like, no one had ever thought of that. 1.00

01:20:33.000 No one had ever decided. 1.00

01:20:35.000 But Gary went so deep, he literally grabbed the guy's shit. 1.00

01:20:38.000 So deep. 1.00

01:20:39.000 Oh my god! 1.00

01:20:40.000 Gary Goodrich is a fucking arm wrestling champion with these gigantic arms. 1.00

01:20:45.000 And just imagine that guy crushing your package. 1.00

01:20:48.000 I think he might have started off with a tickle.

01:20:52.000 Get a guy to let go of the underhooks. 0.93

01:20:53.000 Just a little bit.

01:20:54.000 And then a tickle turned into a squeeze.

01:20:56.000 And see, the guy...

01:20:57.000 But you know what?

01:20:57.000 The guy didn't tap out immediately.

01:20:59.000 It wasn't like...

01:20:59.000 That's insane.

01:21:00.000 Giant black man, hand on my crotch, squeezing. 1.00

01:21:02.000 Ah, fuck! 1.00

01:21:03.000 No, it was... 1.00

01:21:04.000 Hmm.

01:21:05.000 Yeah.

01:21:10.000 Maybe Gary had a finger.

01:21:11.000 He was giving a shocker. 0.98

01:21:13.000 Massaging his prostate. 1.00

01:21:14.000 Maybe his balls were already numb. 0.99

01:21:16.000 It's like he had taken so many ball shots. 0.95

01:21:18.000 Maybe that's why he tapped out.

01:21:20.000 He's knuckles deep.

01:21:22.000 He's got two knuckles in there.

01:21:24.000 He's going, you know what, dude?

01:21:25.000 You need to go get this thing checked out.

01:21:27.000 Gary, I know we're fighting and everything, but I feel a lot.

01:21:31.000 We need to get you out of here.

01:21:33.000 He's like, thanks.

01:21:35.000 Thank you so much.

01:21:36.000 Did you ever fight in a... 1.00

01:21:39.000 I never stuck my knuckles in a man's ass. 0.99

01:21:41.000 No, any event that allowed ball shots? 0.99

01:21:43.000 Like the old Heath Hackney-Joson fight?

01:21:45.000 No, no, no.

01:21:46.000 By the time we were doing that, it was always sort of a universal, like, dude, just don't hit anybody in the nuts.

01:21:51.000 Heath Hackney-Joson is a famous moment in MMA. Boom.

01:21:55.000 And he's putting a tiger choke on him.

01:21:56.000 A tiger choke! 1.00

01:21:58.000 Especially when you find out later that Joe Son is a fucking mass rapist. 1.00

01:22:03.000 A maniac. 1.00

01:22:04.000 Crazy person. 1.00

01:22:05.000 A crazy person who was involved in a gang rape. 0.99

01:22:07.000 They caught him for something else and they did a DNA scan on him. 0.71

01:22:11.000 And that guy used to always hang around the comedy store.

01:22:13.000 He was always in the back room of the comedy store.

01:22:15.000 You'd run into him and he'd call everyone sir and bow to everyone.

01:22:18.000 He was really weird.

01:22:20.000 He was really, really weird.

01:22:21.000 Yeah, and he would have, like, no shirt on.

01:22:23.000 He was, like, super yoked.

01:22:25.000 Really short limbs, but super yoked.

01:22:27.000 He'd be calling everyone, sir. 0.98

01:22:29.000 And then it turned out that this guy was, like, a mass or a gang rapist. 0.97

01:22:33.000 You're like, oh, wow. 0.91

01:22:34.000 What a weird guy to have hanging around.

01:22:36.000 That's about as bad as it can be, but I don't know.

01:22:38.000 I would think that, in his mind, he probably set his bar even higher than that.

01:22:44.000 Did you ever try any of these compression shorts, cup things that a lot, you know, like videos of them, like Jaco has one and Diamond MMA have one?

01:22:53.000 You know what?

01:22:54.000 I used to wear the dirty boxer one.

01:22:56.000 Mine tore.

01:22:57.000 But I also learned a hard lesson of if you're wearing, and see, okay, I also, I wear Belletudo trunks.

01:23:05.000 Right.

01:23:05.000 So, if you're wearing...

01:23:08.000 Spandex trunks.

01:23:09.000 And you put spandex shorts on underneath that. 1.00

01:23:12.000 Spandex and spandex just sort of all of a sudden your outer trunks are like turned into some sort of Daisy Duke wedgie up your ass. 1.00

01:23:18.000 Right. 0.99

01:23:18.000 And then your under trunks are hanging. 0.99

01:23:20.000 You just look like a guitar. 1.00

01:23:21.000 Hot as fuck is what you're trying to say. 1.00

01:23:22.000 Oh, you look sexy as shit. 1.00

01:23:25.000 Those compression shorts are probably the best way to avoid really bad ball shots, right? 0.99

01:23:31.000 Do you use a tie cup?

01:23:36.000 No, I use a jock strap.

01:23:37.000 Just a plain old jock strap with one of those flexible cups because my thighs are so big that a normal cup it just starts digging into the Those flexible cups are good, but I've tried recently.

01:23:50.000 The reason why I ask is Diamond MMA has this really intense compression shorts set up with all these straps.

01:23:57.000 Are you sure it's for training and not for like...

01:24:00.000 Well, he's got a ball gag, but that's optional.

01:24:03.000 The idea is that this guy has eliminated the movement, which is where the cup fails. 0.79

01:24:08.000 You know, the cup moves to the side, and then you get kicked in the balls, and the cup actually hits the balls, which obviously can happen if you just have a loose jockstrap.

01:24:15.000 So you can't pull up to the side? 0.99

01:24:16.000 Yeah, his shit is, yeah, there's no tuckies from the side. 1.00

01:24:19.000 This shit is slammed in place. 1.00

01:24:21.000 But Kenny Florian says that a tie cup is the best. 1.00

01:24:23.000 He says that you could, if you, it's uncomfortable as fuck, because it has to go up your ass like a G-string, but if you do it that way, it's not movement. 0.99

01:24:30.000 It's just... 1.00

01:24:30.000 So we're saying Kenny Florian isn't an ass play. 1.00

01:24:33.000 I don't think he's into that, man. 0.91

01:24:34.000 Oh.

01:24:35.000 I don't think he minds chafed inner thighs, though.

01:24:37.000 Yeah, he's okay with that. 0.99

01:24:37.000 Because it's a goddamn steel cup with like a little piece of leather around the side. 0.99

01:24:41.000 Rubbing balm into his grove. 0.99

01:24:42.000 Yeah, you probably have to before you get going.

01:24:44.000 You probably have to use some KY on the sides of your thighs. 0.98

01:24:46.000 A little bit.

01:24:47.000 Some kegels.

01:24:48.000 I don't know how kegels is going to help you.

01:24:54.000 Okay, so here we're going off on a tangent. 0.99

01:24:55.000 It's a shit direction, man. 0.99

01:24:56.000 We're talking a lot about cups. 1.00

01:24:58.000 Yeah.

01:24:58.000 Which is not entirely what I thought was going to be on the table today, but...

01:25:01.000 Well, it's a terrible design, the human body with the balls on the outside for fighting. 0.64

01:25:06.000 I mean, you're a fighter, okay? 1.00

01:25:07.000 But if your balls weren't on the outside, she couldn't lick them while you're stroking it. 1.00

01:25:13.000 Yeah, it's like a trade-off. 1.00

01:25:14.000 Yeah.

01:25:14.000 I mean, you got the good with the bad on that one.

01:25:17.000 Just what a ridiculous button that every man has his button. 0.98

01:25:20.000 Ding, ding, ding, ding. 0.99

01:25:21.000 Yeah.

01:25:22.000 It's out there.

01:25:23.000 Everybody knows where it is.

01:25:24.000 We're all running around vulnerable.

01:25:25.000 And we've made countless jokes about it.

01:25:27.000 If you didn't know, not only was it painful, it's hilarious.

01:25:32.000 It is.

01:25:33.000 Yeah, even when you're watching an MMA bout and someone gets kicked in the ball, it's like, oh!

01:25:39.000 Let's watch it one more time.

01:25:40.000 Yeah, we always replay it.

01:25:43.000 I don't know why.

01:25:44.000 There's no reason to.

01:25:45.000 But there's got to be fetishes built around... 0.99

01:25:49.000 Cups.

01:25:50.000 Oh, sure.

01:25:51.000 Absolutely.

01:25:51.000 I'm sure people sell their cups.

01:25:52.000 Or like someone that wears a cup and gets a boner under the cup somehow.

01:25:57.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:25:58.000 It's like fucking crushing his mushroom. 1.00

01:26:00.000 Weird dudes that like jerking off to guys. 1.00

01:26:03.000 Maurice Smith. 1.00

01:26:03.000 What? 1.00

01:26:04.000 He's not that guy.

01:26:08.000 Joseph, I heard your podcast, Joseph. 0.99

01:26:11.000 That shit wasn't funny. 0.99

01:26:12.000 Maurice Smith. 1.00

01:26:15.000 You know what?

01:26:15.000 He should really tell this story.

01:26:17.000 But he was...

01:26:19.000 For folks who don't know, former UFC heavyweight champion, great kickboxer, world heavyweight kickboxing champion, and trained...

01:26:25.000 And owner of a utility belt.

01:26:26.000 Not a joke.

01:26:27.000 A utility belt? 1.00

01:26:28.000 He's got this fucking leather utility belt thing with pockets and pouches and all this shit and gadgets. 1.00

01:26:34.000 And it's monogrammed, MS on it. 1.00

01:26:36.000 For multiple sclerosis.

01:26:38.000 So it's not quite a fanny pack.

01:26:40.000 It is the ultimate of fanny packs.

01:26:43.000 It's, you know, Batman.

01:26:44.000 It's a bat utility belt. 0.98

01:26:46.000 I'm a little jealous.

01:26:46.000 Well, he can get one made for you.

01:26:48.000 He was pretty proud to tell me.

01:26:49.000 I'm like, I'm actually mocking you.

01:26:51.000 I'm not asking for it.

01:26:53.000 For a location where I could have one of my own.

01:26:56.000 I'm sure you saw Maurice's last fight.

01:26:58.000 Of course I did.

01:26:59.000 I jumped out of my chair. 1.00

01:27:00.000 I was losing my shit. 0.99

01:27:01.000 It was so awesome. 1.00

01:27:02.000 I knew exactly when it was all going to go downhill.

01:27:05.000 There was a point, because I used to spar Maurice all the time, and he's standing out in front of the guy and he kind of gets this little grin.

01:27:11.000 I go, that's it.

01:27:12.000 He's figured this dude out.

01:27:13.000 He's got him handled.

01:27:14.000 It's only going to get worse from here.

01:27:16.000 And Mo doesn't go for the kill. 0.93

01:27:18.000 He's not like to get in there and just try and annihilate the dude. 0.96

01:27:20.000 He chop.

01:27:22.000 He just, score!

01:27:22.000 Score!

01:27:23.000 Score, Josh!

01:27:24.000 You know what?

01:27:25.000 Too hard.

01:27:25.000 It's too hard.

01:27:26.000 Score!

01:27:27.000 Score!

01:27:30.000 That's Maurice Smith.

01:27:33.000 So anyway, he's fighting in the UFC. What is that?

01:27:36.000 Score, score, score?

01:27:37.000 That's his philosophy.

01:27:37.000 It's like, just score.

01:27:39.000 If you keep landing, you're good.

01:27:41.000 Don't try to go for the kill.

01:27:42.000 You set yourself up.

01:27:43.000 Eventually, the right shot will present itself.

01:27:48.000 He threw that right hand and step right kick.

01:27:50.000 He knew the guy was going to take off to his left.

01:27:51.000 He ate it.

01:27:52.000 It was majesty.

01:27:54.000 He was great in the first Coleman fight, man.

01:27:57.000 When you really got a chance to see... 1.00

01:27:58.000 He talked all that shit. 1.00

01:27:59.000 He's like, oh, you hit like a girl and all this, and Coleman tried to punch him out and gassed, and he just took his time. 1.00

01:28:04.000 He was so calm, and he never got upset by it all.

01:28:06.000 I was talking, and me and him were talking before the fight, and everybody thought he was going to his death.

01:28:11.000 And Maurice was so calm.

01:28:13.000 He was so calm.

01:28:14.000 He was just hanging out back there with Kirk, the dude he used to train him.

01:28:18.000 Kirk Jensen.

01:28:19.000 Yeah.

01:28:21.000 Where'd you go?

01:28:22.000 No.

01:28:23.000 Settle down.

01:28:24.000 So anyway, so Maurice Smith...

01:28:27.000 He's driving around in his Porsche and his license plate says Kickboxer.

01:28:31.000 Yeah, he always had like an old, like redone, he always had like 73 with like a little too much engine to it.

01:28:37.000 Or like a GT2 kit on it or something.

01:28:39.000 So anyways, he's driving around in his Porsche and I think somebody I don't remember how he ended up getting in contact with this guy, but he was fighting, he was doing extreme fighting, and he was fighting UFC, and this guy, at a bus stop, somehow, he's sitting, he goes, hey, hey, I want to buy something off of you.

01:28:55.000 And Maurice is like, okay, he's like, let me buy your jockstrap.

01:29:00.000 And Maurice had his stuff on him, and he goes, like, 300 bucks.

01:29:06.000 Guy pulls out 300 bucks, sells his jockstrap and takes off.

01:29:09.000 And Maurice is like, I don't care.

01:29:11.000 You can do whatever you want. 1.00

01:29:12.000 What an idiot. 1.00

01:29:13.000 I got $300. 1.00

01:29:15.000 I'm like, and you have now a Maurice Smith limited edition semen-stained frickin' jockstrap now. 0.96

01:29:22.000 Maybe the guy's wearing it on his face like Darth Vader. 0.95

01:29:25.000 Like, it's something.

01:29:26.000 Something.

01:29:27.000 And then it made me think, what is my jockstrap worth?

01:29:31.000 Would I sell it? 1.00

01:29:32.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:29:33.000 How much? 1.00

01:29:36.000 I'd like to get five figures for it.

01:29:38.000 Five figures?

01:29:39.000 Thousand bucks?

01:29:40.000 That's not impossible.

01:29:42.000 You know what I think?

01:29:42.000 If you could take...

01:29:43.000 Well, it's too bad you probably already washed it from the Corvier fight.

01:29:45.000 I smell great, man.

01:29:46.000 You know what would be amazing?

01:29:48.000 If you had plastic bags.

01:29:50.000 I'm not saying that you should fake this, but if you did have plastic bags where a jock from the Randy Couture fight is in a Ziploc bag for medically sealed...

01:30:00.000 For medically sealed.

01:30:01.000 This is the jock strap you were wearing when you won the title.

01:30:05.000 How much would that be worth?

01:30:06.000 Only jockstraps. 0.93

01:30:07.000 Yeah.

01:30:07.000 Only jockstraps.

01:30:08.000 Yeah.

01:30:10.000 If you just had them all in a file at home.

01:30:13.000 I'm not saying you should fake this.

01:30:14.000 But if you did have a file that you'd pull apart and it was filled with organized...

01:30:18.000 How many fights have you had now? 1.00

01:30:21.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:30:22.000 Unsanctioned included, over 50. Could you imagine if you had 50 plastic bags filled with every jockstrap from every fight that you'd ever been in, including some with blood on them, some smeared, you know, some with quick knockouts where you didn't even really get them stinky. 0.99

01:30:40.000 You know what?

01:30:42.000 They would have to be hermetically sealed because the smell is radiating for said jockstraps for like a 15 mile radius would pull in every woman. 1.00

01:30:50.000 And every, like, feral dog. 1.00

01:30:52.000 Yeah, there would be howling and shit. 1.00

01:30:53.000 Coyotes at night. 0.99

01:30:55.000 And, like, the Cormier one would probably be worth the most because there's still, like, sweat inside the bag.

01:31:01.000 Still damp.

01:31:01.000 Still, like, some, like, bubbles.

01:31:03.000 Some moisture bubbles in the bag.

01:31:05.000 You know?

01:31:06.000 But, like, you know, if you go back to the Pride days, those are dried out.

01:31:08.000 Right.

01:31:09.000 They've shrunk a little, even.

01:31:14.000 Look, someone's going to do it now.

01:31:15.000 Because we've brought it up, we've set that in motion.

01:31:18.000 You know what?

01:31:19.000 I've got to pay for tires if I keep blowing up.

01:31:21.000 So what better than to use a little bit of elastic around my waist?

01:31:25.000 You might be able to retire on this.

01:31:26.000 I'm telling you.

01:31:27.000 If you could, you would. 0.99

01:31:30.000 If you could retire on something as ridiculous as that. 0.99

01:31:33.000 Selling your jockstrap? 0.98

01:31:34.000 Well, we should put up a thing.

01:31:37.000 You got one more fight coming up in Strike Force, right?

01:31:39.000 Yeah.

01:31:40.000 How long is it going to be before your hands healed?

01:31:43.000 I'm sure I got at least another three months.

01:31:45.000 What do you have to do for physical therapy when that happens?

01:31:49.000 Do they put a pin in it and everything?

01:31:51.000 Yeah, there's a plate and pins.

01:31:52.000 I'm going to have that removed at some point.

01:31:55.000 Do you have to have that removed, or is it an option?

01:31:58.000 No, I don't have to, but I think it's smarter in the long run.

01:32:01.000 To heal the hammer, right.

01:32:03.000 A lot of people that have plates in their arm, the plate is the problem, right?

01:32:06.000 Right, and if it does break, if you break the hardware, now you've got that crap stuck in the bone, it makes it even worse to try and put it all back together.

01:32:13.000 What's Nogueira's situation?

01:32:16.000 I think it's called the humerus, the upper bone snapped when Mir tapped him.

01:32:20.000 I think he just started rubbing acai on it.

01:32:24.000 I think his issue right now is the plate.

01:32:28.000 I don't know if they can go in and take it out, though.

01:32:30.000 Oh, he can't fight?

01:32:32.000 No, he pulled out of the Congo fight.

01:32:35.000 He apparently is in intense pain during wrestling.

01:32:38.000 He was fine for a little while, but then when he got to wrestling, there was just too much pain.

01:32:43.000 I guess, you know, that plate digging into your bones and digging into the meat of your arm.

01:32:49.000 I don't think you're supposed to...

01:32:51.000 I mean, I think that has to be probably removed if you're going to engage in combat sports.

01:32:56.000 I would think so, yeah.

01:32:56.000 What about Muir's leg?

01:32:59.000 Whatever happened with that?

01:33:01.000 Does he still have the plate in it?

01:33:02.000 It's probably a prosthetic with a machine gun in it by now. 0.99

01:33:05.000 He's so crazy. 0.96

01:33:06.000 Where he hides his knives. 1.00

01:33:08.000 He's so crazy. 0.89

01:33:09.000 Hi, I'm one of the biggest, strongest dudes walking the planet, and I'm covered in weapons. 0.97

01:33:13.000 Covered in guns.

01:33:14.000 For all the people that want to attack me. 1.00

01:33:16.000 Well, I don't know what that's all about, but he is the wrong dude to fuck with. 0.99

01:33:20.000 Yeah, no. 0.99

01:33:20.000 You know what? 0.99

01:33:21.000 If he fell down a flight of stairs, he'd stab himself to death. 1.00

01:33:23.000 And shoot people. 1.00

01:33:24.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:33:28.000 Getting shot through office buildings.

01:33:30.000 As Frank Mir trips on the sidewalk.

01:33:32.000 His ankle gun goes off.

01:33:35.000 Oh, he blows up a gas station across the street. 1.00

01:33:38.000 His dick dagger just stabs him in the foot. 1.00

01:33:40.000 Dick dagger! 1.00

01:33:41.000 Yeah, what's up with him is like him who's already a killer and he wants to be fully armed to the teeth when he leaves the house. 0.97

01:33:47.000 He's like a real survivalist type of dude in that way.

01:33:50.000 You live in Vegas.

01:33:51.000 I imagine his survival skills are a lot different than the usual guy.

01:33:54.000 Like, how do you avoid vomit on the street?

01:33:56.000 How do you get into the strip club without paying? 1.00

01:33:58.000 I don't know.

01:33:59.000 Well, when you work there, it's easy.

01:34:01.000 But Vegas is a dark place, though, as far as the type of people that you...

01:34:05.000 Everybody that talks about Vegas, I'm like, I hate Vegas. 1.00

01:34:07.000 I don't like it because it's, one, it's purposefully fake and engineered to fuck you up. 0.99

01:34:15.000 Even from the carpet, from the way they did it. 0.99

01:34:18.000 I think it's kind of cool that they've figured out the ways to make you gamble and spend money and fuck your life over to some formula. 0.99

01:34:27.000 Like, wow, that's pretty good. 0.99

01:34:28.000 That's fucking cool. 0.98

01:34:29.000 In a way, I just don't want it to happen to me. 0.97

01:34:32.000 But then, once you leave the strip, right? 0.99

01:34:34.000 Leave all the opulence and all the cool shit, you know, all the fucking things that they're dangling out there to pull you in. 0.98

01:34:41.000 And you get just outside the strip, like, every service industry thing around there is filled full of all the lost, gray-tee, fucking prison-tatted, like, wrangled-up, fucking-used condoms of people that all, like, lost everything in Vegas and they can't leave. 0.98

01:34:56.000 And, you know, you go and you order your Sonic Burger and you're like... 1.00

01:35:02.000 Fuck, dude. 1.00

01:35:03.000 I don't know what happened to you, but that looks contagious. 1.00

01:35:07.000 I don't really... 0.99

01:35:08.000 Seven fucking snaggle-tooth on one side. 0.99

01:35:11.000 It's a strange, strange part of the country. 1.00

01:35:13.000 Bad news.

01:35:14.000 Strange part of the country.

01:35:15.000 It's a desert. 1.00

01:35:16.000 It's a fucking desert. 1.00

01:35:17.000 What if it's in a desert? 1.00

01:35:18.000 There's life in the desert. 0.99

01:35:19.000 I've seen all that National Geographic bullshit, too. 1.00

01:35:22.000 I know it. 0.99

01:35:23.000 Not really meant for us.

01:35:25.000 Yeah.

01:35:25.000 You know who lives in the desert?

01:35:26.000 Crazy people, curmudgeons, you know. 1.00

01:35:29.000 Wieros. 0.99

01:35:30.000 Yeah.

01:35:30.000 We were actually talking about that before you got here.

01:35:32.000 We're like, if the shit goes down, Vegas is one of the last places you want to be because there's no food there. 0.99

01:35:36.000 They can't get food. 0.99

01:35:37.000 So once trucks stop coming in and planes stop landing with food, it's over.

01:35:41.000 All those $6 prime ribs?

01:35:42.000 Yeah.

01:35:42.000 Gone.

01:35:43.000 All that shit. 1.00

01:35:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:35:44.000 No money. 1.00

01:35:45.000 There's no money for casinos.

01:35:47.000 Save the Northwest.

01:35:47.000 Yeah.

01:35:48.000 You can grow everything you need up there.

01:35:50.000 That's the truth.

01:35:51.000 That's the truth.

01:35:51.000 I was watching the video of Chael Simon preparing for Anderson Silva, and it showed Portland.

01:35:56.000 I'm like, God damn, that's beautiful. 0.99

01:35:58.000 Look how fucking green everything is. 1.00

01:36:00.000 Green and healthy. 0.97

01:36:01.000 I mean, you could have an incredible garden there.

01:36:03.000 But you'd have a serious problem in Portland.

01:36:04.000 What? 1.00

01:36:05.000 All the people with the fucking discs in their ears. 1.00

01:36:07.000 Oh. 1.00

01:36:07.000 You'd be off-putting that. 1.00

01:36:09.000 All the rings in the noses.

01:36:10.000 Are they sagging?

01:36:11.000 No, they're not sagging.

01:36:13.000 That's another thing I don't get, the bullring.

01:36:15.000 So many beautiful women have that. 1.00

01:36:17.000 The bullring right in the nose.

01:36:19.000 It should only be okay if you can attach a little chain onto it and drag them around.

01:36:23.000 Wasn't that a girl like Tina Marie? 1.00

01:36:24.000 Didn't she have that?

01:36:25.000 She had the nose ring and the cord to the ear.

01:36:28.000 Remember?

01:36:29.000 Yeah, Portland does have a lot of freaky people with those nose rings.

01:36:34.000 That nose ring is so unnecessary.

01:36:36.000 I've seen some girls that have a nose ring, and it's kind of sexy. 0.97

01:36:40.000 Like, I dated a girl once who had a ring in her nostril. 0.99

01:36:42.000 People can pull shit off. 0.99

01:36:44.000 Yeah, but they can't pull off that bull ring. 1.00

01:36:46.000 That's pretty tough.

01:36:46.000 I've never seen anybody pull that off.

01:36:48.000 The other thing is, chest tattoos on a woman is not my thing. 1.00

01:36:51.000 Unless she's hot as fuck. 1.00

01:36:53.000 With the skull with the wings. 1.00

01:36:55.000 Yeah, and I look at it, but I'm like, you're not a sailor.

01:36:58.000 Are you going to get to a bare knuckle fight or something?

01:37:01.000 No, you're not. 1.00

01:37:02.000 You have tits. 1.00

01:37:03.000 You have the greatest tattoo ever created for your chest. 1.00

01:37:06.000 Yeah, you have the ultimate visual. 1.00

01:37:08.000 Big tits, little tits, whatever. 1.00

01:37:10.000 You got tits. 1.00

01:37:11.000 You don't need to put ink on top of the tits. 1.00

01:37:13.000 Leave the tits alone. 1.00

01:37:14.000 Yeah, it's true. 0.99

01:37:15.000 Leave me to have the chest tattoos and the handlebar mustaches.

01:37:19.000 While you brought this up, I have to write something down because I can't forget that I have to make fun of my friend Bill Burr for using a Thomas guide in 2012. He's one of those dudes.

01:37:34.000 I love the guy.

01:37:36.000 He's an awesome comedian.

01:37:37.000 But he has a 1950 pickup.

01:37:40.000 I think it's got the shifter.

01:37:42.000 Like a three speeder on the column.

01:37:44.000 On the column.

01:37:45.000 And he's got no navigation system. 0.99

01:37:47.000 He uses fucking Thomas guides. 0.99

01:37:49.000 And he's always joking around about it. 0.99

01:37:50.000 Using Thomas guides.

01:37:52.000 There's some people that refuse.

01:37:54.000 They get a kick out of...

01:37:58.000 Being antiquated to the level of difficulty.

01:38:02.000 You know why people had maps? 0.85

01:38:04.000 Because it was fucking hard trying to follow the falcon as it went down the road.

01:38:09.000 No, so we created a map. 0.81

01:38:11.000 And now you went from a map...

01:38:12.000 This is your bit, I think, actually.

01:38:14.000 What? 0.99

01:38:14.000 About the whole, you know, oh, now you're going to go back to, you know, when you were living in some fucking dirt hole and you discovered you had a bathtub. 0.99

01:38:21.000 Right. 0.99

01:38:21.000 Look at how much of an advancement technique. 0.99

01:38:23.000 This is wonderful.

01:38:23.000 I'm going to have my baby in a bathtub.

01:38:25.000 And then when you go from that, then you have a hospital. 1.00

01:38:27.000 And then all of a sudden, like, no, let's go back into a fucking... 0.99

01:38:30.000 A hole full of mud and have a baby in that, because that's natural. 0.99

01:38:34.000 Yeah, well, that was me making fun of women who wanted to have, like, natural births. 1.00

01:38:38.000 Like, stupid... 1.00

01:38:39.000 See, I know when somebody else is... 1.00

01:38:40.000 Oh, no, I've heard that.

01:38:42.000 Oh, that's his.

01:38:43.000 Well, it becomes a thing, man, when you're around a bunch of people, you kind of forget sometimes who was the one who said it.

01:38:49.000 But it made...

01:38:49.000 It's funny, but it made perfect sense.

01:38:52.000 Like, it's not...

01:38:53.000 There's nothing...

01:38:54.000 Okay, having...

01:38:55.000 Wanting to have a natural childbirth in some way or whatever, like, okay, I can...

01:38:59.000 All right, yeah, I get it.

01:39:00.000 You want to be where the baby has the most likely chance of survival.

01:39:04.000 Exactly.

01:39:04.000 Babies died constantly.

01:39:05.000 All the time.

01:39:06.000 So, now we have the ability to keep babies from dying, so why don't we do that?

01:39:10.000 So, it's the same thing.

01:39:11.000 Like, okay, I understand using a Thomas map or whatever, but that, sorry.

01:39:15.000 We have GPS now.

01:39:17.000 Now, if you have the Thomas guys, because in case your GPS fails, cool.

01:39:22.000 Driving a three-speed truck, that's alright too.

01:39:25.000 Drum brakes.

01:39:27.000 It still drives, it still stops.

01:39:29.000 As long as you're aware of what you're dealing with, you're okay.

01:39:32.000 I just drove up here in a 69, well, barely drove up here in a 69 Oldsmobile.

01:39:36.000 I know what I'm dealing with and I'm okay with that. 0.97

01:39:38.000 But I didn't drive up here with a fucking Thomas map the whole time trying to do this. 0.80

01:39:42.000 I used to have a 68442. You used to have a lot of cool shit. 0.99

01:39:46.000 I love that back bumper. 0.99

01:39:49.000 One of the greatest bumpers in the history of automobiles.

01:39:51.000 That giant chrome shiny bumper.

01:39:54.000 That's one of the reasons why I have this kind of car.

01:39:57.000 Because I had a 300c SRT8. Great car.

01:40:00.000 It had been rear-ended twice.

01:40:02.000 See, I never got any at recs until I got to California.

01:40:05.000 I'm on the 605. We get past this fucked up traffic, and I start driving by, and I see a fucked up car on the right, which is why we're all... 0.96

01:40:14.000 I'm like, fucking California. 0.99

01:40:15.000 You just can't go a day without having to run yourself into somebody else. 1.00

01:40:19.000 Like, you're just fucking morons. 1.00

01:40:21.000 And we speed up, and then it starts slowing down again. 1.00

01:40:23.000 I'm like, oh, fuck. 0.99

01:40:25.000 I slow down, stop, and then... 1.00

01:40:29.000 Boom! 0.99

01:40:30.000 Right into my back.

01:40:31.000 Someone wasn't paying attention.

01:40:32.000 Of course not.

01:40:32.000 And then they managed to fix the car from that.

01:40:35.000 It's all good.

01:40:35.000 I go and I pull the trim off, have all the chrome turned black, and murder out the car.

01:40:41.000 It looks awesome.

01:40:42.000 Okay, cool.

01:40:44.000 I'm going to keep on to this for so many more years, and then I'll finally get a new car.

01:40:48.000 I'm leaving at this place at like 2.30 in the morning.

01:40:52.000 It's been a good night for me.

01:40:53.000 And I'm on Beverly and La Cienega, just parked.

01:40:58.000 Four cars maybe ahead of me.

01:40:59.000 It's at a red light.

01:41:01.000 And I'm just chilling.

01:41:03.000 Boom! 0.99

01:41:04.000 Like didn't even hit brakes.

01:41:05.000 This ranger just plows right into the back of me and just annihilates the back of my car.

01:41:11.000 Texting?

01:41:12.000 Was he texting?

01:41:12.000 I don't know what he was doing.

01:41:13.000 He wasn't drunk. 1.00

01:41:14.000 The first thing I did is I got hit, and at first I thought, oh shit, it was a crazy boyfriend hit me. 1.00

01:41:20.000 Like, crazy ex-boyfriend, sorry. 1.00

01:41:22.000 No, no, not that guy. 0.91

01:41:24.000 In his truck.

01:41:25.000 And I looked over, and so I see a truck, and I got...

01:41:29.000 Well, the first thing is... 0.66

01:41:30.000 Doing all this fighting shit that I've been doing, high-stress situations, I know I have way better facilities than your average person. 0.90

01:41:37.000 Even today, I'm driving in the fast lane at 75 miles an hour, and there's that wall on the 110 on the left-hand side of the concrete divider, and I heard, boom! 0.97

01:41:45.000 Boom! 0.99

01:41:46.000 And it goes out and the car immediately tries to go into the wall.

01:41:49.000 But I managed to...

01:41:50.000 I'm braking the car.

01:41:52.000 I'm applying brakes and feathering it and steering the wheel and keeping it straight. 0.99

01:41:57.000 I didn't hit a fucking thing, you know? 0.99

01:41:58.000 You kept it together. 1.00

01:41:59.000 Oh, yeah.

01:42:00.000 Like a man!

01:42:01.000 Like a man, Josh Barnett!

01:42:02.000 I didn't fall off that horse. 1.00

01:42:03.000 I rode that bitch. 1.00

01:42:04.000 That's what I'm talking about. 1.00

01:42:04.000 Then I fucked it. 1.00

01:42:06.000 Fucked it good. 1.00

01:42:06.000 And then ate it. 1.00

01:42:07.000 And then ate it.

01:42:08.000 And then I became buffer and more sexually dominant. 0.54

01:42:12.000 My prowess, my sperm count went up.

01:42:14.000 How long have we been doing this, Brian?

01:42:16.000 Almost two hours.

01:42:17.000 An hour 45. So, I go and I get hit.

01:42:21.000 I look, I see the truck.

01:42:22.000 First thing I do, I get out of the car and I jog over to where the truck is pulling over onto the side.

01:42:26.000 And then I notice a different truck come over, take a look.

01:42:30.000 And I see these two dudes in the car and they're like freaking out. 0.98

01:42:35.000 Like, oh my god, fuck, I can't believe I just, I can't believe this. 0.98

01:42:37.000 They're upset about getting into an accident. 1.00

01:42:40.000 Not drunk.

01:42:41.000 At all.

01:42:42.000 So they were texting or blowing each other?

01:42:44.000 One of the two.

01:42:46.000 Maybe both.

01:42:46.000 At the same time.

01:42:47.000 Texting while blowing each other.

01:42:48.000 Texting about how good it felt to be blown.

01:42:50.000 This is so awesome.

01:42:54.000 So after that, I'm like, you know what?

01:42:56.000 I really like the idea of having a nice all-steel car.

01:42:59.000 So go ahead and run into this.

01:43:01.000 See how that's going to work out for you.

01:43:02.000 That's true.

01:43:03.000 That's one thing about those old cars, man. 0.99

01:43:05.000 They could take a fucking hell of a wallop. 0.96

01:43:07.000 You can smash into stuff and you know when I finally lose it and I just start going berserk on the freeway and hitting people then this is going to be the vehicle to do it. 0.99

01:43:15.000 It's definitely better than like a Prius. 0.99

01:43:18.000 Oh, everything's better than a fucking Prius. 0.99

01:43:20.000 Isn't that an insult, Kyle? 0.99

01:43:22.000 Have you seen one of those on the road?

01:43:23.000 Have you got a Prius taxi?

01:43:25.000 They're the worst because they can't even fit any luggage in the trunks. 0.99

01:43:28.000 No, it's pathetic. 0.71

01:43:29.000 But I don't have anything against hybrid technologies or cleaner, safer burning stuff. 0.91

01:43:38.000 Fine. 0.98

01:43:38.000 Can't fuck with the rumble of a V8. No, no you can't. 0.98

01:43:41.000 And here's the thing, if you want to drive that, go for it. 0.98

01:43:45.000 You think you're saving the environment by creating a bunch of fucking shitty batteries that are going to pollute something somewhere, then alright, whatever. 0.98

01:43:50.000 Conflict minerals from Congo. 1.00

01:43:52.000 Yeah, so anything designed that it's all a fucking scam. 0.98

01:43:58.000 It's not... 0.92

01:44:00.000 There's been ways, I'm sure, that you could have the most fuel-efficient gasoline-powered car that we have no idea because every one of those things has been shelved on purpose by the oil companies themselves.

01:44:12.000 I'm sure.

01:44:12.000 Because what good would it do you to have to buy less gas?

01:44:15.000 This is probably a car that can run on water.

01:44:17.000 Yeah.

01:44:17.000 We probably have that already.

01:44:19.000 So anyhow, you see these Priuses and it's okay, but It has no soul.

01:44:26.000 Hybrid cars have no souls whatsoever.

01:44:29.000 I've driven a hybrid car and I'm like, well, you know what?

01:44:31.000 It drives.

01:44:32.000 It's a car.

01:44:32.000 It's fun and it does what it needs to do.

01:44:34.000 But I feel like I'm in a soulless, lifeless box.

01:44:38.000 And you spend so much time, especially if you live in L.A., behind the wheel.

01:44:41.000 I want to drive something that makes me feel good about being in it. 0.99

01:44:44.000 That makes me get out of bed in the morning and go to get in my car and be like, God damn, if you were a chick, I'd totally hit on you. 1.00

01:44:52.000 And that's the 69 old that does that? 0.99

01:44:55.000 Well, it's a grizzled girl, I'll tell you that. 1.00

01:44:58.000 But she knows her way around the block. 1.00

01:45:00.000 She's a bar whore with no teeth. 1.00

01:45:03.000 She's smoked about 687,000 cigarettes in her life. 1.00

01:45:07.000 Now she talks with one of those little microphone dealies in her neck. 1.00

01:45:13.000 It's got personality.

01:45:15.000 The car is not perfect, and that's fine.

01:45:18.000 It's mechanically sound.

01:45:20.000 And it runs great and it's fun.

01:45:22.000 Trying to explain the appeal though.

01:45:24.000 It's...

01:45:24.000 Of like one of those...

01:45:25.000 Having...

01:45:26.000 Like a V8 engine feel.

01:45:28.000 It has...

01:45:29.000 You turn the car over and it's...

01:45:30.000 It's got a sound.

01:45:32.000 It's like, hey, what's up?

01:45:34.000 I'm here.

01:45:34.000 How you doing?

01:45:35.000 What are we doing today?

01:45:36.000 What do you want to do? 1.00

01:45:37.000 Want to run some shit over? 0.99

01:45:38.000 Want to go fast? 0.99

01:45:39.000 What do you want to do?

01:45:39.000 No, we could just hang out.

01:45:41.000 Let's fucking get on the road. 0.99

01:45:42.000 It's a completely different experience than a Corolla. 0.99

01:45:45.000 Even though a Corolla is a very nice car, can get you where you want to go, it's lacking that.

01:45:50.000 It's something that was captured in the creation of those cars.

01:45:53.000 These cars are steel and they're solid.

01:45:55.000 They're meant to last a very long time. 1.00

01:45:58.000 And there are touches in terms of Comfort and of just style that are so, that are stupid. 0.99

01:46:06.000 Like you didn't, that's obnoxious. 0.99

01:46:08.000 You didn't have to create little emblems that some little fucker had to paint himself and then put them on the inside of the interior. 0.98

01:46:14.000 Like no one's ever going to pay attention to half of that shit, but they did it anyways, you know, and they're like sinking the lights in in a certain way and having to put chrome around that bezel and going the extra mile, like the extra 30th mile that You're not going to get in a car nowadays and be in that kind of... 0.98

01:46:32.000 It's like going into those old buildings and seeing all those touches that they put into the flooring, into the mantles and... 0.98

01:46:38.000 You're getting that, but in a vehicle.

01:46:40.000 You can tell the difference between a factory just churning out some four-wheeled mobile to get you wherever and somebody, even a factory line, where people are putting these things together.

01:46:53.000 Do you appreciate technologically advanced cars like a Nissan GT-R, for instance?

01:46:58.000 Oh, the Godzilla?

01:46:59.000 Yeah.

01:46:59.000 I think it's amazing they can make an over 4,000-pound car run that fast.

01:47:03.000 I don't think it's quite that heavy.

01:47:04.000 I think it's 3,900, 3,850.

01:47:07.000 It's heavy.

01:47:07.000 It's very heavy.

01:47:08.000 Four-wheel drive, zero to 60 in less than three seconds.

01:47:11.000 It's crazy.

01:47:12.000 It's nuts.

01:47:12.000 Yeah.

01:47:13.000 It's unreal. 0.99

01:47:14.000 And then it'll do it in such a way that what my racer friends will tell me, that almost any idiot can get behind the wheel of that car and learn to be fast. 0.99

01:47:23.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:47:24.000 In fact, some folks have been like, don't get one of those.

01:47:27.000 Well, I'm like, I'm not just sitting on 80 grand that I'm going to go run out and buy a car with, but okay, why not?

01:47:33.000 And they go, you're going to get bored.

01:47:36.000 It's going to be awesome, it's going to be this and that, and then eventually it's like, there's no fun in this.

01:47:40.000 It doesn't... 0.68

01:47:42.000 Well, it doesn't scare the shit out of you. 0.60

01:47:44.000 It doesn't come out.

01:47:44.000 It does everything.

01:47:45.000 Yeah, it does everything and it does it all well and it takes all the efforts and a lot of the skills out of learning and adapting to a vehicle and it takes it away. 0.99

01:47:54.000 Well, you can take all that shit off. 1.00

01:47:55.000 You can shut off all that shit. 1.00

01:47:57.000 You can shut off all that electronic control and treat it like you're on a racetrack and then it'll scare the fuck out of you. 1.00

01:48:02.000 You can go sideways on that car.

01:48:04.000 Oh, I'm sure you can.

01:48:05.000 Yeah, you just have to shut off all those stability systems.

01:48:08.000 I love the car.

01:48:09.000 I think it's one of the coolest cars on the road.

01:48:11.000 It's almost ridiculous to get anything else.

01:48:13.000 If you wanted to get a car that goes fast, that car, not only does it go fast, it's like the most advanced technological achievement as far as what we can do today to get you to go fast and safe.

01:48:27.000 It's the most technologically efficient.

01:48:30.000 That costs three times as much.

01:48:32.000 Right, yeah.

01:48:33.000 But then, I was talking to somebody about the difference there is, okay, that GT-R will do it, but when you get in that GT-R and you look around and it is comfortable and it's got everything you need, but if you get in that Ferrari, all of a sudden things, it's not, okay, the Ferrari isn't maybe quite as fast, or maybe it's as fast, but you look at the way it was put together and the way the leather is.

01:48:52.000 Well, they're made by hand.

01:48:53.000 Oh, I mean, there's a huge difference there, and I would The trouble with a Ferrari is I would love to get behind the wheel, which I've never done, and drive the shit out of one and treat it like the thoroughbred that it is. 0.99

01:49:05.000 I'll totally treat it like a whore. 1.00

01:49:06.000 Yeah, dirty bitch. 1.00

01:49:07.000 Shizz all over her face. 1.00

01:49:11.000 Yeah, but...

01:49:14.000 It's too expensive.

01:49:16.000 You do that and all of a sudden the bill shows up for changing oil breaks and if you don't have the nomenclature that says you had it all done then the value starts going down. 0.78

01:49:27.000 That's just too fucking much.

01:49:29.000 Which is also why I bought a 69 Olds Cutlass that is not a super special one. 0.93

01:49:34.000 It's not super pretty.

01:49:36.000 It's not perfect.

01:49:37.000 So when it gets dinged Oh well.

01:49:40.000 Yeah.

01:49:40.000 Like, whatever.

01:49:41.000 Well, that's one of the things I've always said.

01:49:43.000 There's something to be said for, like, a Corvette ZR1. It's like, what they've done is just blown everything out of the water as far as, like, performance, as far as zero to 60. It's right up there with every other car that's ever been made.

01:49:55.000 60 to zero.

01:49:56.000 Stops quicker than any car that's ever been made.

01:49:59.000 It's got one of the most ridiculous Nürburgring times.

01:50:02.000 But it's like, you know, the interior is It's not that good.

01:50:06.000 It's okay. 0.99

01:50:07.000 But look, put all that shit aside. 1.00

01:50:10.000 The fucking speedometer works. 1.00

01:50:12.000 You hit that gas pedal, that's a real engine, bitch. 1.00

01:50:15.000 That's a 638 horsepower V8 that sounds like hell. 1.00

01:50:23.000 It sounds like the fires of hell.

01:50:25.000 In World Challenge Road Racing for SCCA, there's a team for Cadillac. 1.00

01:50:33.000 And those fucking CTSVs. 1.00

01:50:35.000 Oh, those are ridiculous. 1.00

01:50:36.000 They start rolling around the track. 1.00

01:50:37.000 They sound bad as fuck. 0.99

01:50:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:50:40.000 They just, they sound like, even if they don't take first, they at least let everybody know that they were there. 1.00

01:50:45.000 It's a beastly fucking car. 1.00

01:50:46.000 And if you, those CTSVs are ridiculous. 1.00

01:50:48.000 Like, you can't believe you're in a four-door sedan that's a Cadillac. 0.95

01:50:52.000 Mm-hmm.

01:50:52.000 You know?

01:50:53.000 Whale! 1.00

01:50:54.000 They're like 560 something fucking horsepower. 0.99

01:50:56.000 Essentially the same engine. 0.98

01:50:58.000 It's a detuned version of the ZR1's engine.

01:51:01.000 And just hauling out.

01:51:02.000 So you can get in a wagon.

01:51:03.000 Yeah.

01:51:03.000 So you can stick your kids in the back.

01:51:04.000 It shows the G-Force on a wagon.

01:51:07.000 Ugh.

01:51:08.000 We live in an awesome time as far as what's possible today.

01:51:12.000 I think so.

01:51:13.000 I think cars have come to such a different level.

01:51:15.000 I love my GT500, my 09. It's such a badass car and my sponsors and everybody have helped me to make it even more gnarly.

01:51:25.000 I have a GT500. I have a 2011 convertible.

01:51:29.000 What do you think? 0.99

01:51:29.000 Fucking great, man. 0.99

01:51:30.000 Isn't it just an amazing car? 0.98

01:51:31.000 It sounds so good.

01:51:33.000 You can slide the tail out if you want to, you know? 0.99

01:51:36.000 I mean, it has some sort of traction control, but basically, it's a fucking live axle car. 0.97

01:51:41.000 It's fun. 0.98

01:51:42.000 It's really enjoyable.

01:51:44.000 Yeah, well, I went and took all that enjoyable thing and then turned it into, like, a murderer.

01:51:48.000 Oh, what'd you do?

01:51:49.000 Well, I put a Whipple supercharger on it, so it's 686 rear wheel horsepower.

01:51:53.000 I got KW and BMR for suspension. 0.98

01:51:55.000 I braced the whole fucking thing up. 0.96

01:51:57.000 I have coilovers all around it. 0.98

01:51:59.000 Do you get wider tires?

01:52:00.000 Not yet.

01:52:03.000 HRE is supposed to make the wheels for the car.

01:52:05.000 I'm just waiting on somebody to step up on the brakes because it's going to be in the Optima Ultimate Streetcar Challenge this year.

01:52:11.000 I got a one-piece aluminum driveline from Lethal Performance and all this different stuff.

01:52:17.000 I had somebody drive the car.

01:52:18.000 I took the rear seats out of it.

01:52:20.000 I pulled all the rear stuff out.

01:52:22.000 I had this little deal set in.

01:52:23.000 I've got to put a roll cage in, honestly.

01:52:27.000 And I'm still taking weight out of the car and doing the thing.

01:52:30.000 But it's still got the stereo in it.

01:52:31.000 It's got everything.

01:52:32.000 I put these amazing Recaro seats in the front. 0.97

01:52:36.000 It's super comfy, and I've got this Magnaflow exhaust all through it, these three-inch pipes, and every time I turn the car over, I mean, I know that my neighbors are just like fucking rattling. 0.99

01:52:46.000 Yeah, it's loud as shit. 0.98

01:52:47.000 Well, just the stock exhaust in the GT500 is fucking amazing. 1.00

01:52:50.000 Now it's ridiculous. 0.98

01:52:51.000 Oh, it's one of the greatest sounds ever. 0.69

01:52:54.000 The roar of a good V8 and a great exhaust.

01:52:57.000 Yes, and I let this guy drive it, and he goes...

01:53:01.000 This car's trying to murder you.

01:53:02.000 I go, yeah, pretty much.

01:53:04.000 I tell everyone it's a 30-30 car.

01:53:06.000 In 30 seconds to 30 feet, some Joe Schmoke is behind the wheel.

01:53:09.000 They've wrecked it.

01:53:10.000 Wow.

01:53:11.000 Because it'll just go out from underneath you.

01:53:13.000 It doesn't take anything to blow the tires off.

01:53:15.000 Way too much power for those back tires, right?

01:53:17.000 Well, kind of.

01:53:18.000 Well, the suspension, honestly, leaving the Optima Challenge last year, just watching.

01:53:24.000 And I decided to go through Death Valley instead of, and then meet up with the 15. So it's just stretches of just empty road.

01:53:31.000 And I've got this little EVAP problem right now.

01:53:35.000 I've got to sort that out.

01:53:36.000 So I like to put the car in limp mode, so I can't stomp it.

01:53:39.000 I can roll into stuff. 0.89

01:53:40.000 I think it'll cruise at 140, flat as fuck, and if you go into a 55 mile an hour corner at 120, it just rolls right through it and comes right back out. 0.79

01:53:49.000 I mean, this suspension from KW and all the chassis and bracing shit from BMR just has this thing rocked on the ground, and I took it to this guy out in West LA, and this guy Tom. 0.97

01:54:01.000 I can't remember the name of his shop, but at any moment you could have like $11 million worth of cars all sitting around this place. 0.66

01:54:07.000 It looks like a dump and you don't even know it's there.

01:54:09.000 But he's fantastic with doing suspension and tweaking these cars out.

01:54:14.000 And they set it up for my weight and everything and dropped it and lowered it and set all the suspension geometry.

01:54:20.000 They set it for your physical weight?

01:54:21.000 Yeah.

01:54:22.000 Because you're a heavier guy?

01:54:23.000 Right.

01:54:23.000 Because you have to adjust for that 250 pounds sitting in the driver's seat and how that affects suspension.

01:54:30.000 So do they have an asymmetric suspension?

01:54:33.000 Is that what it is?

01:54:33.000 Like one side is at a different height or something?

01:54:38.000 Yes, slightly.

01:54:39.000 To keep it balanced. 1.00

01:54:40.000 You know how to basically just have your fat ass sit in there and then fucking adjust it. 1.00

01:54:44.000 And they take the measurements and then do the adjustments as need be. 1.00

01:54:48.000 And my cat, my buddy Chris from KW, and he works with all the drift guys like Daya Shahara and all them and sets their suspensions up and everything.

01:54:57.000 Comes up with tricks, different ways of doing it.

01:54:59.000 What is the whole drift movement?

01:55:01.000 What is that about?

01:55:01.000 Why do people like to go sideways in cars?

01:55:03.000 Basically, well, one, because it looks cool.

01:55:06.000 Right, it does look pretty cool. 0.99

01:55:06.000 It looks fucking cool. 0.99

01:55:07.000 I think I would call drift the combination of stunt driving and racing. 0.96

01:55:15.000 Because they have to go fast enough through it.

01:55:19.000 It's not just about going sideways, because they do it in those tandems.

01:55:22.000 So the idea is to try and match.

01:55:26.000 And get as close and as tight and to emulate the guy's run in front of you as tight as possible without hitting him, hitting the wall, hitting anything else, and doing it as fast and as skillful as possible.

01:55:37.000 So I look at it and I'm like, it's just like a violent auto ballet.

01:55:44.000 That's funny.

01:55:45.000 That's a funny way of looking at it.

01:55:46.000 Events are really fun too.

01:55:47.000 So they've got like DJs and it's like a huge party the whole day long.

01:55:50.000 A violent auto ballet.

01:55:51.000 A violent auto ballet.

01:55:54.000 And how do they judge?

01:55:55.000 It's based on like...

01:55:56.000 They judge on speed.

01:55:57.000 They look at the speed.

01:55:58.000 They look at how...

01:55:59.000 Now they have these clipping point things.

01:56:00.000 So they've got these lights that'll monitor up if you get within a foot of them.

01:56:03.000 So they measure how close you get to these clipping points.

01:56:07.000 They also measure how closely you hit the right apexes and lines for the drifts, but also how closely and tightly you follow the guy ahead of you, the lead car, as the follow car.

01:56:20.000 So a lot of crashes?

01:56:22.000 There's a decent amount of whack in this stuff, yeah.

01:56:25.000 I mean, but they're not catastrophic. 0.96

01:56:28.000 Most of their body panels are tied on with zip ties, so they just fucking rip right off. 0.94

01:56:31.000 Oh really? 0.95

01:56:32.000 On purpose to make it lighter or easier? 0.98

01:56:35.000 Because if you have all these fucking Zeus fittings all over the place, locked in there and it gets torn. 0.96

01:56:42.000 Instead, now it just breaks at some little spot and falls off real easy. 0.98

01:56:46.000 So instead of tearing, like, a whole bunch of fairing off of the car or something, it just tears off a little...

01:56:50.000 Like, the bumper rips off, and you can go ahead and fix that real quick and zip it right back on again.

01:56:54.000 Oh, that's interesting.

01:56:55.000 So they've sort of, like, altered them to deal with the constant collisions.

01:57:01.000 And, like, there are some amazing moments where...

01:57:07.000 Someone's coming up against a wall, and they're getting that back end out, and they get so close that the back end hits the wall just enough to fold it in, and when they come off, it pops back out.

01:57:17.000 I mean, that's... 0.99

01:57:17.000 Holy shit, dude. 0.99

01:57:19.000 You literally ran your car into the wall, but just enough that it was still okay. 0.99

01:57:23.000 Well, one day, every car is going to be like a GTR, where everything is calculated.

01:57:28.000 They're going to see things coming and break.

01:57:30.000 Except it's not going to go that fast, and the government's going to tell you where to drive.

01:57:33.000 That's going to be a real problem, isn't it?

01:57:35.000 You know, I had heard something about, I don't know if this is a true story, I never really researched it, but someone was driving really fast on the highway, and the cops called, what is it, OnStar, and they shut the car off.

01:57:47.000 Is that true?

01:57:48.000 I think that is.

01:57:50.000 Is that really possible?

01:57:51.000 See, that seems to me to be...

01:57:52.000 I mean, I'm not for people getting away from the cops.

01:57:56.000 Me neither. 0.99

01:57:56.000 But I am not also for the fucking Skynet shutting your car off. 0.99

01:58:01.000 No. 1.00

01:58:01.000 That drives me nuts. 1.00

01:58:02.000 It's like, if you have a problem...

01:58:05.000 One thing is to deal with the problem.

01:58:08.000 The other thing is to take it so much further that all of a sudden everybody's freedoms are impiged.

01:58:13.000 That's not okay.

01:58:15.000 I'd rather have to deal with cops chasing somebody down, even if it ended up in my house getting ruined because of it, than having...

01:58:22.000 A big brother able to make everybody do everything the way they want to every time.

01:58:27.000 Yeah, absolute power corrupts, absolute power.

01:58:29.000 And I was talking to this gal and she's going, oh, I would love it if cars started driving themselves. 1.00

01:58:33.000 They were talking about that magnetic system where they had the cars following in traffic and stopping and slowing down and reducing accidents.

01:58:40.000 And I think safety is great.

01:58:44.000 Life is dangerous.

01:58:45.000 Period.

01:58:45.000 We die every day.

01:58:47.000 That's part of the fun.

01:58:48.000 Yeah.

01:58:48.000 You know what?

01:58:49.000 Cormac McCarthy talked about everything is about games in this book, Blood and Marine.

01:58:55.000 And he goes on about how games.

01:58:57.000 Men love games.

01:58:58.000 Boys love games.

01:58:59.000 But the thing about a game that makes it more important or less is what's at stake.

01:59:04.000 So war being the ultimate game because death is at stake.

01:59:07.000 And that is the ultimate wager is life.

01:59:11.000 And It's true.

01:59:13.000 If there was no consequences for a lot of the things we did, there wouldn't have any meaning.

01:59:20.000 Of course.

01:59:21.000 Getting into the ring and fighting somebody with no consequence of injury or death or whatever wouldn't It wouldn't hold nearly as much interest.

01:59:30.000 It wouldn't have the same meaning behind it.

01:59:32.000 MMA has to be very careful because if samurai fighting starts becoming really popular and dudes start actually sword fighting, then people aren't going to watch MMA as much as they're going to watch sword fighting.

01:59:41.000 I think there's a whole collection of sword fighting videos right now.

01:59:44.000 Really? 0.68

01:59:44.000 I think it's, you know, with cocks. 0.68

01:59:47.000 Oh. 0.57

01:59:50.000 Do you think that there's a...

01:59:51.000 Do I think that I could do well in that?

01:59:53.000 I don't know.

01:59:54.000 You mean like that movie with Lorenzo Lamas?

01:59:57.000 Was there a Lorenzo Lamas movie where they fought with swords?

01:59:59.000 It was a Lorenzo Lamas movie where it's like Night of the War or the Hunter or something.

02:00:02.000 He's fighting with swords.

02:00:04.000 Is that possible for us to go back down to, like, the Romans and the Christians and the Lions and all that stuff?

02:00:08.000 Not yet.

02:00:09.000 Not yet?

02:00:10.000 But anything's possible.

02:00:11.000 Right.

02:00:11.000 I mean, come on.

02:00:11.000 Look at the way that government is today versus the way it was, say, in the 50s or in the early 1900s.

02:00:20.000 It's...

02:00:20.000 Much more intrusive.

02:00:22.000 By far.

02:00:22.000 Much more power.

02:00:23.000 Yeah.

02:00:23.000 By far.

02:00:24.000 Or just look at...

02:00:26.000 How radical tastes may change in terms of what content you'll see on television versus what you would see, let's say, even in the most risque part of the 20s or 30s.

02:00:38.000 Technology, of course, always has a lot to do with that.

02:00:40.000 You have cameras that anybody can use to shoot.

02:00:43.000 Of course, it's much easier to make porn than it was back when you had an Edison machine or whatever.

02:00:49.000 Yeah, you actually had to wind up. 0.97

02:00:50.000 Yeah, you got to have a good strong arm and you got to have coordination to jerk off and wind a wheel all at the same time. 0.99

02:00:58.000 But if you just turn into regular advertising, it's amazing that there aren't just men jerking off on corners everywhere they go because there's so much sex being thrown at you all the time. 0.99

02:01:09.000 It's the best way to sell things. 0.98

02:01:10.000 Right.

02:01:11.000 And how much we can get away with in terms of flesh and provocative whatever.

02:01:17.000 And we see these things as being, and I don't have anything against any of this, but back in the 30s, people would have an aneurysm.

02:01:24.000 That's unthought of, to see something like that.

02:01:27.000 And just, things progress.

02:01:28.000 Now, could things progress to where people are really sword fighting?

02:01:31.000 I don't know.

02:01:32.000 I suppose so.

02:01:32.000 We'd have to have a few natural disasters, but I think it could happen.

02:01:36.000 If people wanted to sword fight...

02:01:39.000 Shouldn't they be allowed to?

02:01:40.000 I think they should be allowed to.

02:01:41.000 If they choose to do it, yeah.

02:01:43.000 If they choose to do it.

02:01:44.000 If people want the ultimate contest.

02:01:48.000 It's not like if they don't do that, they're going to live forever.

02:01:50.000 They're a temporary being.

02:01:52.000 If you choose to go out that way...

02:01:53.000 Actually, as a Highlander, I have to sword fight to live forever.

02:01:57.000 That's the only way, right?

02:01:57.000 Right.

02:01:58.000 There could be only one.

02:01:59.000 Of course.

02:02:00.000 Josh Barnett, ladies and gentlemen.

02:02:01.000 This has been a fun podcast, dude.

02:02:03.000 Thank you very much, brother.

02:02:04.000 My pleasure.

02:02:04.000 Great time.

02:02:05.000 I hope to come back on.

02:02:05.000 Oh, please.

02:02:06.000 Anytime.

02:02:07.000 Anytime.

02:02:07.000 Definitely.

02:02:08.000 And when...

02:02:08.000 So you said about three months before people can look forward to seeing you back in action.

02:02:11.000 Yeah.

02:02:11.000 I mean, I got good...

02:02:12.000 Three months before you can go back into hard training?

02:02:14.000 Yeah.

02:02:15.000 Hard to say.

02:02:16.000 I got a follow-up on Friday.

02:02:17.000 But I mean, I've got good range of motion in it.

02:02:19.000 But I do want to take...

02:02:20.000 I know that that's going to take a little longer to cut this back open.

02:02:23.000 And I don't like surgery.

02:02:24.000 I don't want to get cut open.

02:02:25.000 I don't want to go under...

02:02:26.000 But I just think in the long run, it's going to be a lot better.

02:02:28.000 So you have to do that soon, and then you have to recover from that.

02:02:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:02:34.000 And, you know, I'm even looking into, like, there's, like, what can they do for bone density, you know, nowadays?

02:02:42.000 And, I mean, this is my livelihood. 0.99

02:02:44.000 I need to make sure that this shit doesn't happen again. 0.99

02:02:46.000 Yeah, what can it? 1.00

02:02:47.000 I was asking online about Makawaras. 0.98

02:02:50.000 Is there any fucking... 0.99

02:02:51.000 I think so. 1.00

02:02:52.000 Those karateka, they could punch just about anything.

02:02:56.000 There's Chinese iron palm techniques and these people work on it.

02:03:00.000 It seems like it would condition your hands.

02:03:02.000 Makawara, those guys had giant knuckles and it seems like that would help a little bit.

02:03:05.000 I've seen documentary of the dude, he hits a little piece of steel every day.

02:03:09.000 Kung-Fu dude.

02:03:11.000 And it's legit, man.

02:03:12.000 The guy, he doesn't feel anything.

02:03:14.000 Are you going to look into doing something like that?

02:03:16.000 Yeah, that and like, you know, what forms of calcium or whatever.

02:03:19.000 And there's supposedly something called Forteo out there, which is a bone density drug.

02:03:23.000 Really?

02:03:24.000 They give it to women with osteoporosis with high likelihood of fracture.

02:03:30.000 Wow.

02:03:31.000 And it might be able to, like, a healthy person jack up your bone density?

02:03:34.000 I suppose.

02:03:35.000 I mean, the thing is we're losing bone density every day.

02:03:38.000 Yeah, that is a problem with getting older.

02:03:40.000 We're fighting the power, man.

02:03:41.000 We're fighting it.

02:03:42.000 Slowly.

02:03:42.000 Every cell that we have in our body is constantly being attacked and it will degenerate over time.

02:03:49.000 You can't live forever, but while you're here, you'd like to be able to use it as much as possible.

02:03:54.000 How old are you now, man?

02:03:55.000 Thirty-four.

02:03:56.000 Thirty-four.

02:03:56.000 How much longer are you thinking of me throwing down?

02:03:58.000 Until I can't.

02:03:59.000 Until you can't.

02:04:00.000 Until I can't. 1.00

02:04:00.000 Until the fucking wheels fall off. 1.00

02:04:01.000 Yeah, bloody my hands so the last breath will be torn from me. 1.00

02:04:06.000 This isn't the only amount of time you have in your life to do this, and fighting is me.

02:04:12.000 Fighting is absolutely a part of who I am.

02:04:15.000 Violence is a part of my life.

02:04:16.000 I've got a lot more to me than that, but being in the ring and being in war, that's what I'm made for.

02:04:21.000 There's a lot of guys who say that, and you go, okay, dude, keep convincing yourself. 0.97

02:04:25.000 When you say that, Josh Barnett is telling the fucking truth. 0.97

02:04:28.000 That's exactly what you feel. 0.98

02:04:29.000 That's exactly what you mean when you're saying it.

02:04:32.000 You're 100% committed and convicted to it.

02:04:35.000 It's fun.

02:04:36.000 And I told someone the other day, I go, when I go to the ring, I'm already dead.

02:04:39.000 I go to the ring as a dead person.

02:04:40.000 I have no feelings.

02:04:41.000 I have no emotions.

02:04:42.000 I don't care about anyone.

02:04:43.000 I don't care about anything.

02:04:45.000 I don't care about my life anymore.

02:04:46.000 I don't have it.

02:04:47.000 I have a little set list of songs I listen to in my hotel room before I go to...

02:04:52.000 A couple tears might fall from my eyes without any sound.

02:04:58.000 Just out of nowhere.

02:05:00.000 And I know that those tears are for the life that I no longer own.

02:05:04.000 That it is gone.

02:05:05.000 I am dead now.

02:05:06.000 I have mourned my life and it is no longer existent.

02:05:09.000 I am...

02:05:10.000 This.

02:05:11.000 This is me right now.

02:05:12.000 I'm walking the life of a dead person and the only way to go is to go out there and let's go to the death.

02:05:19.000 I have nothing to lose because I have nothing anymore.

02:05:22.000 There is nothing.

02:05:22.000 I feel nothing.

02:05:23.000 I care for nothing.

02:05:25.000 Well, in the middle of that, it's got to be the most intense feeling of all time.

02:05:28.000 When you're in the middle of a cage, like in your last fight, the most recent one with Cormier, and you guys are both throwing down and you both had broken hands at that point in time.

02:05:37.000 It's got to be one of the most intense and realistic forms of struggle on earth.

02:05:41.000 It is, but unfortunately, that's where it's great, where your corner man can give you that input to aim your direction. 0.58

02:05:50.000 Because I got in there, broke my hand, made a couple, fucked up a couple times in there, and then all of a sudden I went into fight to the death mode. 0.64

02:05:58.000 But it's not a fight to the death. 0.98

02:05:59.000 It's a fight for five rounds.

02:06:01.000 If you don't finish it in five, chances are you're going to lose.

02:06:05.000 So...

02:06:06.000 Didn't really...

02:06:07.000 I mean, yeah, people look at you like, oh, you're like blowing blood out of your nose and just, you know, you're coming at people and never stop coming forward and trying to murder.

02:06:14.000 I'm like, right.

02:06:15.000 But in front of three judges, a referee, and five rounds, it didn't work.

02:06:22.000 So...

02:06:23.000 I got paid less and, you know...

02:06:26.000 It's still a learning process.

02:06:28.000 It is.

02:06:28.000 Always to the end, right?

02:06:29.000 I mean, and I know that...

02:06:32.000 Yeah, it is a learning process.

02:06:34.000 But I know that for me, being like that, feeling that way, that's...

02:06:39.000 There's days I feel it, most of the time, I feel like that's the way I really am.

02:06:45.000 That's when I strip off everything that society has imparted on me and imparts on me, pushes on to me.

02:06:53.000 I throw it all away.

02:06:54.000 And I tell you what, feeling...

02:06:58.000 Like you're dead is pretty free.

02:07:02.000 You really feel free.

02:07:05.000 You've never appreciated life more when you've already given it away.

02:07:08.000 It makes sense.

02:07:09.000 Yeah, it makes sense.

02:07:11.000 It's as intense as things can get.

02:07:15.000 There's no other way, right?

02:07:17.000 I mean, that is as intense.

02:07:19.000 There's nothing other than actual war itself, you know?

02:07:22.000 There's nothing more intense.

02:07:23.000 No, and it also, I think, you know, you start getting to that, it's like the, I'm going to try and do something, you just do it.

02:07:30.000 If there's something that must be done, you do it.

02:07:32.000 You just do it.

02:07:33.000 And you can, you know, everything doesn't have to always be to the level of, I'm the Walking Dead and I don't have any emotion or feeling anymore.

02:07:43.000 I had a girl I was in love with break the living shit out of my heart as soon as I had to go off over to Japan.

02:07:48.000 I had pro wrestling matches to do and stuff and I'm destroyed inside. 0.98

02:07:52.000 I'm totally ruined and I'm giving press conferences and shit like that. 1.00

02:07:57.000 They need to see a hero, but inside I just feel like a piece of shit. 0.99

02:08:01.000 I feel terrible. 0.99

02:08:03.000 And I'll go out there and wrestle a match.

02:08:04.000 And I had to wrestle a match in front of 12,000 people and make it look amazing.

02:08:09.000 And I did. 0.99

02:08:11.000 And we fucking tore the house down. 0.99

02:08:14.000 But it was like, you know what? 0.99

02:08:16.000 You feel like death right now.

02:08:18.000 You feel like the lowest form and your heart is so broken.

02:08:22.000 Nobody paid for that, so it doesn't really matter how you feel right now.

02:08:26.000 You have this in front of you, and this must be accomplished.

02:08:30.000 Anybody may excuse you for circumstances, but that's, no, sorry.

02:08:35.000 There really is no excuse.

02:08:37.000 There is only the result, and only whether you do it or you don't.

02:08:42.000 What's it like for you to see guys that you came up with, guys like Pedro Hizzo, that have reached pretty much the end?

02:08:49.000 And you see the end, and do you take a mental account? 0.98

02:08:56.000 I'm going to start wearing headgear in training even, because I'm tired of getting hit in the head by fucking some of the monsters that are in there, and I know that... 0.98

02:09:06.000 Part of the reason I try to read as much as I do and I do want to be a more well every day that I have a chance to be a better person and learn more and be have a broader sense of this world at large is necessary it's important I think that's part of my not just right as a person to do so but I think it's a necessity like you should have to do that It's also to stave away the effects of that kind of shit, 0.99

02:09:36.000 of dementia and whatever. 0.99

02:09:37.000 I mean, I'm getting hit in the head in practice constantly.

02:09:40.000 And then I go in the ring and I get hit in the head some more.

02:09:42.000 And it damages your brain. 0.98

02:09:44.000 There's no way around it.

02:09:45.000 Some people are more susceptible to the side effects of it, of catching pugilist dementia and becoming punch drunk.

02:09:53.000 But I know that there have been times where I find myself trying to catch a word and I'm like, I don't know why.

02:09:59.000 I can't think of that right now, but that's...

02:10:02.000 Maybe.

02:10:03.000 Maybe it's because I'm getting hit in the head by Eric Prindle, who's like 300 pounds.

02:10:06.000 Right.

02:10:07.000 So, why not?

02:10:09.000 Just save that brain so that I can use more of it.

02:10:12.000 I'm still going to be getting hit in the head no matter what headgear I have on me, but I don't want to take things to the point where I've made...

02:10:22.000 A disability for myself mentally or physically with fighting.

02:10:26.000 Do you think you'll be able to discern that?

02:10:28.000 I think if I'm honest, I will.

02:10:31.000 But when I watch guys like Pedro, he can't take a punch like he used to.

02:10:35.000 Part of me feels bad when...

02:10:38.000 I do feel sad for...

02:10:41.000 Where they're at now compared to where they used to be.

02:10:44.000 But I'm also more so happy that they are here on this earth, loving their life, still being able to exert themselves in the ring and be a part of this.

02:10:58.000 And if they decide to retire, or when it comes to that point they need to retire, that they did it.

02:11:02.000 That they had the opportunity.

02:11:04.000 They lived that life.

02:11:05.000 They took those experiences into themselves.

02:11:06.000 And they can stand there in front of anybody and go, I did this.

02:11:11.000 I made my mistakes.

02:11:12.000 I had my successes.

02:11:14.000 I did this.

02:11:15.000 I did it with everything I got.

02:11:18.000 You know what?

02:11:18.000 You can't take any of that away from me, ever.

02:11:21.000 It's all mine and I earned it.

02:11:23.000 And that's beautiful.

02:11:25.000 Powerful wisdom from Josh Barnett, ladies and gentlemen.

02:11:29.000 And with that note, that's the end of this podcast.

02:11:31.000 That's the real end of this podcast.

02:11:32.000 This is the first time we ever did a podcast like this.

02:11:34.000 For folks listening, this is going to sound weird.

02:11:37.000 It might sound a little different because we're using a totally different setup. 0.99

02:11:40.000 We had some sort of electrical shortage and Brian got zapped in the face with a fucking lightning bolt! 0.99

02:11:46.000 I wish I could have seen that. 0.99

02:11:47.000 Yeah, it was a white spark. 0.99

02:11:49.000 Too busy trying to run my car into the fucking divider wall on 110 North. 0.97

02:11:54.000 Well, there was a lot involved in making this podcast happen, but it did happen. 0.97

02:11:58.000 So thank you very much, sir.

02:11:59.000 I really appreciate it.

02:12:00.000 Thanks again to our sponsors.

02:12:01.000 Thanks to The Fleshlight.

02:12:03.000 Go to JoeRogan.net.

02:12:04.000 Click on the link for The Fleshlight.

02:12:05.000 Enter in the code name ROGAN. Save yourself 15% off the number one sex toy for men.

02:12:11.000 Thanks to... 0.89

02:12:12.000 It's true.

02:12:12.000 For real.

02:12:13.000 It's our sponsor.

02:12:14.000 Okay.

02:12:14.000 Thanks to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune, and New Mood, the 5-HTP supplement.

02:12:23.000 I take shrooms myself.

02:12:24.000 Do you?

02:12:24.000 That's not even a joke.

02:12:25.000 Cordyceps?

02:12:26.000 You take that?

02:12:27.000 Cordyceps and just a whole mushroom blend.

02:12:29.000 Yeah, I do too.

02:12:30.000 Great.

02:12:31.000 Mushrooms are very healthy.

02:12:32.000 Yeah, there's a lot of really healthy mushrooms.

02:12:34.000 We also have kettlebells and battle ropes all for sale now.

02:12:38.000 Go to Onnit.com.

02:12:39.000 And if you use the code name ROGAN, you will save 10% off all supplements.

02:12:42.000 So go get some.

02:12:43.000 Thank you, Josh Barnett.

02:12:44.000 That's the end. 1.00

02:12:45.000 Good night, you dirty bitches. 1.00

02:12:46.000 Oh, follow Josh on Twitter. 1.00

02:12:47.000 It's Josh L. Barnett.

The Joe Rogan Experience - July 04, 2012

Joe Rogan Experience #235 - Josh Barnett (Part 2)

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