The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #236 - Eddie Bravo

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day.

00:00:09.000 Joe Rogan Podcast by night.

00:00:11.000 All day!

00:00:12.000 Brian, I want you to apologize to all the nice people out there in the world.

00:00:24.000 I'm sorry.

00:00:25.000 I logged into the wrong Ustream account, and I guess the sound was too hot also.

00:00:31.000 The sound was too hot?

00:00:32.000 I had to restart the computer, and every time I restart the computer, it always goes back to all the defaults for some reason.

00:00:38.000 So the sound is really hot, and my login is saved in this Ustream thing, so it automatically, I just hit, you know.

00:00:47.000 It screws everything up, so every time I restart, I have to make sure everything is smoking weed before it.

00:00:55.000 We need a little yellow checky checklist thing for you.

00:00:59.000 Make sure what channel you're on.

00:01:01.000 I think the weed gets too much blame.

00:01:02.000 You know what I mean?

00:01:04.000 No, it does.

00:01:05.000 It does.

00:01:06.000 When I'm doing stuff, you get stoned and everyone's like, all right, let's start now.

00:01:11.000 You're like, oh, okay.

00:01:13.000 I'm just trying to back up weed.

00:01:18.000 You know what I mean?

00:01:18.000 It gets a bad rap.

00:01:20.000 Speaking of weed, we got Tommy Chong who's gonna come on the podcast on Monday. 0.96

00:01:23.000 That's fucking awesome. 0.89

00:01:23.000 Yeah, that should be very fun. 0.89

00:01:25.000 He apparently is using that...

00:01:28.000 You know that Rick Simpson thing?

00:01:30.000 Have you heard that?

00:01:31.000 Cannabis oil.

00:01:32.000 There's some oil that you can make with cannabis.

00:01:35.000 It's supposed to be super healthy for people who have cancer.

00:01:40.000 A good friend of mine came to LA. He's from the East Coast.

00:01:45.000 He's got brain tumors in his head, and he's supposed to die in six months.

00:01:49.000 This was about a year ago.

00:01:51.000 And he's a hardcore 10th planet.

00:01:52.000 He's one of my top soldiers, for sure.

00:01:57.000 He...

00:01:57.000 Man, it's weird.

00:02:00.000 Because in the position that we're in...

00:02:03.000 We get a lot of people with, you know, there's a lot of people out there that have cancer that are fans as well.

00:02:09.000 You know what I mean?

00:02:09.000 We're dealing with, you know, this is not an uncommon thing to have a student or someone come to me and have cancer.

00:02:16.000 This happens all the time.

00:02:17.000 People are like dying and it's crazy. 1.00

00:02:20.000 The spot that we're in, we're like, fuck. 1.00

00:02:21.000 Well, there's a gigantic amount of people in this country. 1.00

00:02:25.000 You're going to run into some people that are sick, and it's very humbling.

00:02:31.000 Well, this guy, he started that cannabis oil therapy, and his last checkup, the tumors stopped.

00:02:39.000 Not only did they stop growing, they shrank like 40%.

00:02:42.000 And his doctors are, like, amazed at what's going on.

00:02:45.000 And he's on this cannabis oil therapy.

00:02:49.000 It's becoming really popular now.

00:02:51.000 You know, there's reports...

00:02:53.000 I don't even think it makes you high, right?

00:02:55.000 No.

00:02:55.000 It doesn't, right?

00:02:57.000 No, it doesn't make you high at all.

00:02:58.000 So it's not even an issue whether or not people are taking this and getting high on it.

00:03:04.000 The only way pot gets you high is if you heat it up, I guess.

00:03:09.000 That's what's been explained to me.

00:03:11.000 Like you can't just eat it, but when you eat it, if you just eat like the leaves, it's really healthy.

00:03:16.000 They say like marijuana, like the flowers and the leaves are incredibly healthy for you.

00:03:21.000 Like really, it's a great thing to juice.

00:03:23.000 Like people should juice actual marijuana.

00:03:25.000 That's becoming more popular now too.

00:03:26.000 Yeah.

00:03:26.000 So I have a friend who's...

00:03:30.000 I don't know.

00:03:31.000 His tumors are shrinking, which is crazy.

00:03:35.000 Doctors are baffled, but he's been on that cannabis therapy.

00:03:38.000 It's working.

00:03:40.000 It's becoming more and more popular.

00:03:42.000 All these studies are coming up.

00:03:44.000 Real legit scientific studies that have shown that marijuana shrinks tumors.

00:03:48.000 It seems like every week or every other week there's this new study that comes out that proves that somehow marijuana can cure some kind of cancer here or some kind of cancer there.

00:03:58.000 And it's becoming so popular that I don't even retweet all of them. 0.99

00:04:02.000 There's just too many damn studies. 0.98

00:04:04.000 That's true. 1.00

00:04:05.000 You look like an asshole. 1.00

00:04:06.000 I'm like, shit, there's just too many fucking studies. 1.00

00:04:09.000 So I'm only retweeting the juiciest studies. 1.00

00:04:12.000 It's crazy.

00:04:13.000 There's all this evidence, all this proof.

00:04:16.000 That marijuana is this wonder plant.

00:04:18.000 It's not just an ordinary plant.

00:04:20.000 It's not just a plant.

00:04:21.000 It's like an alien.

00:04:22.000 It's a magical plant.

00:04:23.000 There's all this proof and people still deny.

00:04:26.000 And it's still a Schedule I drug.

00:04:28.000 How crazy is that?

00:04:29.000 Coke and heroin are Schedule II. Yeah, because they have medicinal use, supposedly.

00:04:35.000 That's crazy. 0.97

00:04:36.000 Yeah, it's completely ridiculous. 0.99

00:04:37.000 How about that video of that one congressman grilling that chick? 0.98

00:04:41.000 Yeah, from the DEA. That chick is brilliant. 1.00

00:04:43.000 She deflected everything beautifully.

00:04:46.000 All illegal drugs are dangerous.

00:04:49.000 All illegal drugs are bad.

00:04:53.000 Yeah, she was brilliant.

00:04:55.000 You know the DA's watching like in a dark room laughing their asses off going, that was brilliant. 1.00

00:05:00.000 You know she got like a fucking $500,000 bonus and shit. 1.00

00:05:04.000 For that? 1.00

00:05:04.000 Really? 1.00

00:05:04.000 I thought she looked terrible. 1.00

00:05:06.000 She looked brilliant.

00:05:07.000 Nothing's going to happen from it.

00:05:08.000 They just needed someone to go out there and jibber jabber and just get past it and whatever. 0.99

00:05:13.000 And then they don't give a fuck. 0.99

00:05:15.000 And they got an old lady. 0.99

00:05:17.000 So it's easy for a guy, if you don't think too deeply about it, you're like, how could I be against an old lady who's trying to keep us off drugs? 1.00

00:05:25.000 You know what I mean?

00:05:26.000 An old lady trying to keep us off drugs. 1.00

00:05:28.000 How old was she? 0.89

00:05:30.000 Was it her 30s or 40s?

00:05:32.000 No, she was like 60. Was she really?

00:05:34.000 Yeah, she was old.

00:05:35.000 They got her old lady up there. 1.00

00:05:36.000 See, all I got out of that was that she was joyless.

00:05:39.000 I didn't get her age.

00:05:40.000 I got just this joyless woman out there working. 1.00

00:05:43.000 Brilliant.

00:05:44.000 She's the best.

00:05:45.000 Old lady, come on and just say whatever. 1.00

00:05:47.000 They're like laughing in the back room.

00:05:49.000 Because they're not really accountable.

00:05:52.000 Nothing really is going to change. 0.99

00:05:53.000 Do you think they don't know all the truth and shit? 0.99

00:05:57.000 They know it. 1.00

00:05:57.000 They're trying to suppress it. 1.00

00:05:58.000 So how do you suppress it? 1.00

00:05:59.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:06:00.000 They want to grill someone in the DEA. I'm not going. 1.00

00:06:02.000 You go.

00:06:03.000 No, I'm not going. 0.99

00:06:04.000 And then they fucking make the secretary go out there and promise her a million dollars. 1.00

00:06:07.000 Just say drugs are bad. 0.99

00:06:09.000 Just say drugs are bad.

00:06:11.000 Yeah.

00:06:11.000 And it worked.

00:06:12.000 Because it's on video and it's not going to change shit. 0.99

00:06:14.000 And it was like, you know, she tried to, you know, different addictive properties. 0.99

00:06:20.000 All drugs are bad.

00:06:22.000 Drugs are illegal.

00:06:24.000 Is marijuana more addictive than heroin?

00:06:27.000 I don't.

00:06:28.000 They're both illegal and both addictive.

00:06:31.000 But what is more addictive, marijuana or heroin?

00:06:34.000 Which, in your opinion, is more addictive?

00:06:36.000 Both have addictive properties.

00:06:39.000 Both are illegal.

00:06:40.000 You can only choose A or B. Yes, exactly.

00:06:42.000 It's like Jeopardy on Saturday Night Live.

00:06:44.000 You are an expert on this.

00:06:45.000 You should know this.

00:06:46.000 Is marijuana more dangerous than pills, than prescription pills?

00:06:51.000 All drugs are illegal and all drugs...

00:06:54.000 She was brilliant.

00:06:55.000 It was perfect.

00:06:58.000 It so represents like if it was a movie and this was like the frustrating point of the movie where people were starting to get all the information, starting to realize that this structure that they've got set up, you don't have to live this way.

00:07:11.000 We just live this way because it's been set up for us before we had any information on how things are really going on behind the scenes.

00:07:18.000 And then you see something like this.

00:07:20.000 I mean, this is the thing that would make people rise up.

00:07:22.000 If that was really the drug enforcement agency, that was really their attitude, that's really their take on it.

00:07:27.000 That's really a spokesperson for this.

00:07:29.000 Like, what are you doing?

00:07:31.000 Yeah, watch that video.

00:07:32.000 It's Congressman Grills DA agent or something like that. 1.00

00:07:35.000 It's hilarious, it's talking about, like, fucking prescription pills. 1.00

00:07:39.000 They're talking about abusive prescription pills. 0.99

00:07:40.000 But you know what they're not talking about?

00:07:42.000 Stopping those prescription pills from being made.

00:07:45.000 Someone's always going to get them.

00:07:46.000 Someone's always going to have a backache.

00:07:48.000 You can't stop prescription pills and make prescription pills.

00:07:53.000 You can't do both.

00:07:54.000 So you're never going to stop them. 0.98

00:07:56.000 That's horseshit. 0.97

00:07:58.000 So when they say that they're looking to cut down an illegal prescription drug, whatever. 1.00

00:08:04.000 What kind of a fucking smoke screen is that? 0.98

00:08:07.000 How much money is that even? 0.99

00:08:09.000 How much money is it compared to the legal ones? 1.00

00:08:12.000 The people who are legally selling the exact same shit! 1.00

00:08:15.000 But because a doctor says it's cool to take Oxycontin every day for the rest of your fucking life, you're down. 1.00

00:08:21.000 And the next thing you know, whoa, you're a junkie. 1.00

00:08:25.000 That's legal, though.

00:08:26.000 That's legal.

00:08:28.000 But marijuana, you can't grow.

00:08:30.000 You can't eat this incredible plant.

00:08:32.000 Even if you were completely uninterested in getting high, if you just said the nutrition of this plant is unquestionable.

00:08:39.000 If you look at the amino acid profile, if you look at all the nutrients in it, look at the fiber in it, it's an incredible superfood.

00:08:46.000 It's better than kale.

00:08:47.000 But it's so expensive, you could never eat it because it's illegal. 0.99

00:08:50.000 But if it was legal, it would be cheaper than fucking kale. 0.99

00:08:54.000 That would be a real problem. 0.97

00:08:55.000 I know a bunch of people that lived in Northern California that prosper off of the illegality of it that were arguing that they were going to vote against it if it came on the ballot.

00:09:06.000 They're like, we make more money if it's illegal.

00:09:08.000 They were ready to go gangster.

00:09:10.000 They would rather go gangster and then make a little extra money.

00:09:15.000 That's like contrary to the whole idea behind weed in the first place.

00:09:19.000 Money takes precedence.

00:09:20.000 Yeah, it's amazing.

00:09:21.000 It's amazing how strong the pull is in some circumstances over, like, what would be good for humanity. 0.98

00:09:29.000 You know, man, fucking I got an ATV I gotta pay for. 0.98

00:09:33.000 You know, can you imagine that? 1.00

00:09:34.000 Some asshole's growing weed and he's, like, organizing people to try to stop the initiatives to make it legal. 1.00

00:09:41.000 Fuck, keep it illegal, dude. 1.00

00:09:42.000 Keep it illegal. 1.00

00:09:43.000 Just you and me, bro.

00:09:44.000 We'll work together.

00:09:45.000 I'll get you the weed.

00:09:47.000 You give me the cash. 1.00

00:09:49.000 Selfish bitches. 1.00

00:09:50.000 Can you imagine? 1.00

00:09:51.000 How self-hating would you have to be to be a pothead who grows weed and you vote against it being legal? 1.00

00:09:59.000 Fucking piece of shit. 1.00

00:10:01.000 You fucking dummy. 1.00

00:10:03.000 That's some silly bitches. 1.00

00:10:07.000 Don't see Spider-Man. 1.00

00:10:08.000 I won't see Spider-Man.

00:10:09.000 We talked about this earlier before we were brought to the wrong channel.

00:10:14.000 Tobey Maguire is a way better Spider-Man.

00:10:16.000 It's funny.

00:10:17.000 Yeah.

00:10:18.000 The new one's not.

00:10:19.000 It seems cold. 0.99

00:10:20.000 You can't keep rebooting shit, man. 1.00

00:10:21.000 Sorry. 0.99

00:10:21.000 No, I think they should reboot it one more time and then just forget that last one. 0.99

00:10:26.000 Just bring Tobey back and not explain anything.

00:10:29.000 Well, the coolest part was they used slow motion a lot, kind of like Matrix stuff.

00:10:33.000 They used it a couple times, and it was really beautiful.

00:10:35.000 So I think they should slow down the movie, make it slow, but Tobey Maguire doing jokes.

00:10:40.000 Dude, I thought Tobey Maguire was awesome with Batman.

00:10:42.000 I thought it was perfect.

00:10:44.000 Or Spider-Man?

00:10:45.000 Spider-Man, rather.

00:10:46.000 Yeah, except for the third one.

00:10:47.000 Peter Parker, he was a perfect Peter Parker.

00:10:50.000 Yeah, perfect.

00:10:51.000 Perfect.

00:10:51.000 It's exactly what I imagined when I was reading the comic book, where this guy seems like, I'm Twilight Spider-Man.

00:10:56.000 Yeah.

00:10:56.000 And I got emotions.

00:10:57.000 I get bruised and scratched.

00:11:00.000 Oh, no, really? 1.00

00:11:01.000 Oh, you bitch. 1.00

00:11:02.000 And then there was some really cool scenes where they tried to do, like, if you were the person, like, you know, like... 1.00

00:11:07.000 Are you spoiling right now?

00:11:08.000 No, no, no.

00:11:09.000 Not at all.

00:11:10.000 I'm not giving away any plot.

00:11:11.000 This is, like, more effects and stuff.

00:11:13.000 But there's probably, like, first-person shooter style, like, where they just failed at it.

00:11:16.000 Like, it's like, you know how, like, in a video game where you see the arms come and you...

00:11:20.000 Was it 3D? It was 3D IMAX. And it was just like these little hands here in the corner or something.

00:11:26.000 I'm like, no, you're not doing it right.

00:11:28.000 So you wanted a full arm.

00:11:30.000 If they slowed it down, like if you were in first person mood while he's swinging, made it look super cool.

00:11:36.000 I think that would be way better than, I don't know.

00:11:39.000 Spider-Man, by the way, is way more badass than an actual spider. 0.96

00:11:44.000 If a spider was the size of Spider-Man, he wouldn't be able to fucking shoot webs that far. 0.95

00:11:48.000 Explain the things and pull himself around? 0.95

00:11:50.000 They explain the technology this time behind it.

00:11:54.000 I don't know if I like that.

00:11:56.000 And also, they redid the whole Uncle Ben thing.

00:12:00.000 The whole time, you're like, you don't care because you know what's going to happen to him.

00:12:04.000 You saw how it was going to happen in the previous thing.

00:12:07.000 It's like before, it used to be in a comic book.

00:12:09.000 It wasn't translated in person in a movie.

00:12:12.000 And then you're going to see it again in the movie.

00:12:13.000 I had to see it kind of again, and they changed it a little.

00:12:16.000 Yeah, that is kind of whack, right?

00:12:17.000 Once you do that in a movie, you get...

00:12:20.000 Mary Jane wasn't around.

00:12:21.000 It kind of freaked me out that she wasn't around.

00:12:23.000 No Mary Jane at all.

00:12:23.000 No Mary Jane.

00:12:24.000 It bugged the hell out of me. 1.00

00:12:26.000 Sons of bitches. 1.00

00:12:27.000 And I don't know, man. 1.00

00:12:28.000 It was fun, but it kind of bummed me out.

00:12:31.000 It just didn't feel like Spider-Man at all.

00:12:33.000 There was no humor in the whole thing.

00:12:35.000 And Spider-Man as a comic book was humorous.

00:12:38.000 Eddie Bravo hates superhero movies.

00:12:43.000 The only superhero I like is Flash.

00:12:46.000 You ever see Kick-Ass?

00:12:47.000 Yeah, Flash.

00:12:48.000 There was never a big Flash movie, was there?

00:12:50.000 I'll go see that.

00:12:50.000 That's it.

00:12:51.000 Other than that, I don't want to see any...

00:12:53.000 I like that.

00:12:54.000 Yeah, that's kind of cool. 1.00

00:12:55.000 You just don't like stupid shit like Captain America flying around with a little shield and stuff. 1.00

00:13:00.000 I'm not into it. 1.00

00:13:01.000 I know most people like that shit, obviously, because they fucking come out with three of them every year, at least. 1.00

00:13:06.000 I know most people like that shit. 1.00

00:13:08.000 I'm in that small minority that... 1.00

00:13:10.000 I wish I fucking liked it. 0.99

00:13:11.000 I wish every time a fucking new Batman came out I got excited. 0.99

00:13:15.000 So you saw that new Batman preview and that doesn't interest you? 0.99

00:13:18.000 Wow, that's crazy. 1.00

00:13:20.000 That new Batman looks fucking like I shit myself crazy. 0.99

00:13:23.000 I was not a DC guy when I was growing up. 0.99

00:13:26.000 I was a Marvel guy.

00:13:27.000 Me too.

00:13:28.000 There's something about that.

00:13:29.000 I feel like I'm still prejudiced against Batman or something.

00:13:33.000 Because I don't really care about it as much as The Avengers.

00:13:36.000 Same way. 0.98

00:13:37.000 I was fucking pumped, man. 0.99

00:13:39.000 Same way. 0.99

00:13:39.000 And that movie delivered. 0.99

00:13:41.000 Did you like The Avengers?

00:13:42.000 I didn't see it.

00:13:43.000 How dare you, Eddie Bravo?

00:13:45.000 Everybody liked it.

00:13:46.000 Dude, just for the Hulk alone, it's awesome.

00:13:49.000 The Hulk is amazing.

00:13:50.000 The greatest Hulk of all time.

00:13:51.000 They nailed it.

00:13:52.000 It's like, they used to do the Hulk and it was like, you know, first he did Lou Ferrigno, he did a great job for a person.

00:13:57.000 I mean, if you're gonna get a person to play the Hulk, that's the perfect guy, right? 0.98

00:14:01.000 Giant fucking dude. 0.94

00:14:01.000 But he was never anything like the Hulk in the comic books. 0.94

00:14:04.000 The Hulk in the comic books was not a man. 1.00

00:14:06.000 It was just fucking fucking... 1.00

00:14:08.000 This crazy big freak thing that is so fun to watch when he gets mad. 1.00

00:14:13.000 When the Hulk gets mad, you think about, God damn, could you imagine if you could do what that guy could do? 0.97

00:14:18.000 He could fight anything! 0.98

00:14:19.000 The Hulk is unafraid of anything.

00:14:22.000 He smashes everything in front of him.

00:14:24.000 He smashes all the time. 0.95

00:14:25.000 He smashes gods. 0.97

00:14:26.000 He grabbed a god and smashed him. 0.98

00:14:29.000 Just smashed him all over the ground. 1.00

00:14:31.000 The fucking rubble's breaking up. 1.00

00:14:33.000 You have to like smashing, Eddie. 1.00

00:14:35.000 When you watch it, it's so fun.

00:14:36.000 I'll give it a chance.

00:14:37.000 I'll give Avengers a chance.

00:14:38.000 Just the Hulk alone is so fun.

00:14:40.000 Okay, I'll give it a chance. 0.99

00:14:41.000 He fucking goes after a jet. 1.00

00:14:43.000 Like a jet is shooting missiles at him, and he gets fucking mad and goes after the jet. 0.99

00:14:47.000 I mean, to be the Hulk would have to be, if there was one thing you could do, if they could give you some sort of a neural implant, what is that movie? 0.71

00:14:57.000 Total Recall type experience, where they simulate a reality for you and you get a chance to try it.

00:15:03.000 What would you like to do?

00:15:05.000 I would like to be the Hulk.

00:15:06.000 Can it be the Hulk in an artificial reality for just one hour? 0.97

00:15:10.000 You know how fucking badass that would be? 0.96

00:15:11.000 You can jump and fly through the air, bullets bounce right off you like nothing, you could smash I would want to be Spider-Woman. 0.99

00:15:19.000 You'd be in a pissed off mood all the time.

00:15:20.000 Yeah, but you would only be fighting bad guys miraculously.

00:15:23.000 The Hulk never hurt any good guys.

00:15:24.000 The correct answer is Spider-Woman, though.

00:15:27.000 Does she have the same powers as Spider-Man?

00:15:29.000 But she's a woman. 1.00

00:15:30.000 She's got boobs and a vagina. 1.00

00:15:31.000 So for one hour, you get to be Spider-Woman. 1.00

00:15:33.000 Plus, you can play with your boobs and vagina for an hour. 1.00

00:15:36.000 That's the best win. 1.00

00:15:37.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00

00:15:38.000 You want to be a woman. 1.00

00:15:39.000 You'd rather smash than do that? 1.00

00:15:40.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:15:42.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:15:43.000 Because a lot of spiders, when you fuck the female, the female kills the male. 1.00

00:15:48.000 That shit happens all the time. 1.00

00:15:50.000 So you kill some dude, finger yourself, and swing around New York. 1.00

00:15:52.000 Some bees, apparently, when they orgasm, die, too. 1.00

00:15:55.000 Did you know that?

00:15:56.000 Really?

00:15:57.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:15:57.000 Some fucking bees. 1.00

00:15:59.000 Certain bees, like when they orgasm, their dick explodes, and they die. 1.00

00:16:03.000 Nature has a way of making sure there's just not an overflow. 1.00

00:16:07.000 Making sure that, you know, we've got to even out this population thing, and the female spider does not trust that male motherfucker. 1.00

00:16:14.000 So after he impregnates her, she's like, yeah, I'm done with you. 1.00

00:16:18.000 And she just jacks him. 1.00

00:16:19.000 Which is really kind of fucked up. 0.99

00:16:21.000 But, probably a good idea. 0.99

00:16:23.000 I mean, if she loves her babies, and she's going to have babies, is she going to trust all 1,000 of her babies with this cunty male spider around? 0.99

00:16:31.000 He might just eat the babies if he's fucking hungry. 0.99

00:16:33.000 You know, she's like, I can't take that chance. 1.00

00:16:35.000 I just gotta jack him. 0.98

00:16:36.000 So she jacks him. 0.99

00:16:37.000 I guess I was wrong about Spider-Man.

00:16:39.000 I guess The Amazing Spider-Man was a different storyline than, I guess, one of the other Spider-Mans.

00:16:44.000 Oh, so the comic book itself.

00:16:45.000 Wasn't The Amazing Spider-Man the only main one?

00:16:48.000 Like, the rest were like Peter Parker and The Amazing Spider-Man?

00:16:51.000 Oh, I don't know. 1.00

00:16:52.000 Shit. 1.00

00:16:53.000 I can't remember now. 1.00

00:16:54.000 You're nerding me the fuck out.

00:16:55.000 There was a web of Spider-Man, I believe.

00:16:57.000 Way too far.

00:16:57.000 I don't even know.

00:16:58.000 So now I'm really confused.

00:17:00.000 Sorry, nerds. 0.90

00:17:00.000 I, uh... 0.90

00:17:01.000 You fucked up. 1.00

00:17:02.000 I fucked up. 1.00

00:17:03.000 I remember Mary Jane though. 0.99

00:17:04.000 It's not your fault though.

00:17:05.000 They can't be changing plots like that.

00:17:07.000 Amazing Spider-Man was Mary Jane. 1.00

00:17:08.000 Make up a new superhero, bitch. 1.00

00:17:10.000 You don't have to keep changing. 1.00

00:17:11.000 Don't change Spider-Man. 0.99

00:17:13.000 Eddie Bravo doesn't give a shit. 0.99

00:17:15.000 Eddie would get mad. 1.00

00:17:16.000 We would go to movies like, well, I know this guy's going to live.

00:17:18.000 He always would get upset.

00:17:20.000 You could never just enjoy it.

00:17:23.000 Iron Man's badass, man.

00:17:26.000 There's something about movies that I could figure out.

00:17:28.000 If I could figure it out, I hate it.

00:17:30.000 If it has me on my toes and it's totally unpredictable and has a really good storyline, obviously, then that's what I'm into.

00:17:38.000 I like not knowing.

00:17:40.000 That's what gets me excited.

00:17:41.000 Knowing what's going to happen.

00:17:43.000 All that money, all that CGI it takes for Batman to be...

00:17:48.000 He's like in seven fights per movie.

00:17:50.000 Seven big episodes where he almost dies.

00:17:52.000 He's fighting all this...

00:17:54.000 All that work that's so expensive and so grand and looks so beautiful.

00:17:59.000 And for me, I'm a minority, that doesn't mean anything for me. 0.99

00:18:04.000 It doesn't do shit. 0.98

00:18:05.000 You didn't grow up watching cartoons much, did you? 0.97

00:18:07.000 Or any of that stuff?

00:18:09.000 I wasn't into comic books.

00:18:11.000 I watched cartoons.

00:18:11.000 I watched the superheroes, I guess.

00:18:13.000 The super friends when I was like eight.

00:18:16.000 Did you like Star Wars growing up?

00:18:18.000 I did like Star Wars growing up.

00:18:20.000 Did you enjoy Avatar?

00:18:21.000 I liked Avatar.

00:18:23.000 Okay, but that was a super predictable movie, man.

00:18:25.000 That was a complete comic book movie.

00:18:28.000 Avatar was the ultimate predetermined ending movie.

00:18:35.000 No, a superhero movie is the most.

00:18:37.000 You know Spider-Man's going to live.

00:18:39.000 No, no, no.

00:18:39.000 The Avatar dude was going to live.

00:18:41.000 He lived through the whole thing. 0.99

00:18:42.000 He became a fucking member of the noble people himself. 0.99

00:18:46.000 Avatar wasn't as predictable as Spider-Man. 1.00

00:18:48.000 Come on.

00:18:49.000 No way.

00:18:50.000 Spider-Man's the most predictable movie ever.

00:18:52.000 Or Batman or Superman. 1.00

00:18:54.000 All that shit's the same thing. 0.99

00:18:55.000 But this movie's predictable, too, because the guy... 0.99

00:18:58.000 I mean, not even predictable, because I don't think that...

00:19:01.000 I shouldn't even say predictable.

00:19:02.000 What I should say is it follows, like, a pretty obvious pattern.

00:19:07.000 It follows a pattern where the person that you're focusing on in the beginning is probably going to be alive at the end.

00:19:12.000 Like 99.999% of the time.

00:19:15.000 Yes, but it's not as clear as a superhero movie that's called Spider-Man.

00:19:19.000 You know Avatar wasn't a person.

00:19:21.000 If Avatar was like a chick, you knew that, or a dude or something, like Avatar the Fighter, and he's going to fight for them.

00:19:27.000 Oh, I see what you're saying.

00:19:28.000 So because it's a science fiction movie, you don't consider it a comic book movie.

00:19:31.000 I didn't say I worshipped Avatar.

00:19:34.000 I'm not trying to watch it again.

00:19:35.000 I thought it was good.

00:19:36.000 I know what you're saying. 0.95

00:19:37.000 It's less ridiculous than a Batman. 0.97

00:19:39.000 Exactly. 0.97

00:19:40.000 It completely is.

00:19:40.000 There's different levels.

00:19:42.000 But when I say it's a comic book movie, I say that with a compliment, because I love that movie.

00:19:46.000 I thought that movie was awesome.

00:19:46.000 No, most people do.

00:19:47.000 No, most people love that shit, you know? 1.00

00:19:49.000 I just can't feel it, you know? 0.99

00:19:51.000 But you felt Avatar, and I'm saying that Avatar is very much like, in a lot of ways, it's like a comic book.

00:19:56.000 It's not like a superhero movie.

00:19:58.000 That's what I meant.

00:19:59.000 I meant like a superhero, comic hero, like, dude.

00:20:02.000 Like, my name is Avatar.

00:20:03.000 I'm going to save this alien planet. 1.00

00:20:05.000 Then I wouldn't watch that shit. 1.00

00:20:07.000 Did you enjoy, like, Clint Eastwood movies? 1.00

00:20:09.000 Like, those half-humor movies?

00:20:10.000 Like, Every Which Way But Loose?

00:20:11.000 No, really.

00:20:12.000 Yes.

00:20:13.000 Best movies ever.

00:20:14.000 I was addicted to that.

00:20:17.000 I don't know.

00:20:18.000 I don't know.

00:20:19.000 Do you remember he had an orangutan?

00:20:21.000 I was eight, I barely remember.

00:20:22.000 I did see B.J. and the Bear and shit. 0.98

00:20:24.000 Oh, B.J. and the Bear. 1.00

00:20:25.000 I mean, I was into that shit. 1.00

00:20:27.000 Isn't it weird now that we know so much about chimpanzees like some of that kid, that student in Africa just got his fucking testicle ripped off? 1.00

00:20:35.000 His fingers bitten off. 0.99

00:20:37.000 They dragged him for like two kilometers or something like that. 0.99

00:20:40.000 I mean, it's really scary shit. 1.00

00:20:41.000 They beat the fuck out of this kid. 1.00

00:20:43.000 Now that you know so much about chimps, it's really hard to watch like BJ and the bear. 0.99

00:20:48.000 And this dude's like tooling around with a chimp. 1.00

00:20:50.000 It's not even really a chimp.

00:20:51.000 It's a baby.

00:20:52.000 It's a little baby chimp. 1.00

00:20:54.000 It's like a little three-year-old or something like that. 1.00

00:20:56.000 Because that's about as old as you can get before you've got to circle out that BJ and bring in a new BJ or bring in a new bear or whatever the fuck his name is. 0.99

00:21:04.000 You can't have that. 0.99

00:21:05.000 He can't grow up. 1.00

00:21:06.000 Because if he grows up, he's going to fucking drive. 1.00

00:21:09.000 You know? 1.00

00:21:09.000 Imagine sitting in a cab of a truck with a giant male chimpanzee. 1.00

00:21:15.000 And he's like, how about I just fucking drive right now? 0.97

00:21:17.000 Just grabs that wheel from you. 0.99

00:21:19.000 What are you gonna do? 1.00

00:21:20.000 Just gonna bite your fucking nose off, Brian. 1.00

00:21:22.000 Some dude who worked at a zoo brought home a baby chimp because the baby, the chimp's mother died. 1.00

00:21:29.000 And at that same time, she had, the person that worked at the zoo had this dog that just had puppies.

00:21:34.000 Had four puppies.

00:21:35.000 Like this big mastiff. 1.00

00:21:37.000 And she brought that fucking chimp home and that mastiff took in that chimp as a child of its own. 1.00

00:21:43.000 I got all these pictures of it. 1.00

00:21:45.000 It's incredible.

00:21:46.000 They're like all hanging out.

00:21:47.000 It's like a little baby chimp. 1.00

00:21:49.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:21:50.000 You know what I'll do? 0.99

00:21:51.000 I'll tweet it to you.

00:21:52.000 You'd be able to see it there?

00:21:54.000 Yeah, I can tweet it.

00:21:54.000 Would you rather be She-Hawk?

00:21:57.000 What's that?

00:21:58.000 Like She-Hulk or Hulk for an hour? 1.00

00:21:59.000 She-Hulk or Hulk for an hour? 0.99

00:22:02.000 Is there a She-Hulk? 0.90

00:22:03.000 Yeah, it does.

00:22:03.000 Hulk, for sure.

00:22:04.000 It's just as strong. 0.99

00:22:05.000 Why the fuck would I want to be a chick, dude? 0.99

00:22:06.000 Why do you keep trying to turn yourself into a chick? 1.00

00:22:08.000 Because, I mean, if you could have a vagina for an hour, just a fuck and finger and stuff? 1.00

00:22:11.000 Would you rather be the alien or Sigourney Weaver? 1.00

00:22:15.000 Why don't you let the hair yourself... 0.97

00:22:16.000 Man, you really...

00:22:17.000 You seriously...

00:22:18.000 Are you serious? 1.00

00:22:18.000 You really wanted the vagina? 1.00

00:22:20.000 For one hour? 0.99

00:22:21.000 If you could be for one hour to be Spider-Man or Spider-Woman or She-Hulk or She-Hulk or Iron Man or Iron...

00:22:27.000 So you could feel what it feels like to get clunked?

00:22:29.000 Is that what you want?

00:22:31.000 I want to know what it feels like to get rammed.

00:22:34.000 You're curious about that.

00:22:35.000 You don't have to...

00:22:36.000 It doesn't have to be a fantasy.

00:22:37.000 You have to just use your back to... 1.00

00:22:39.000 If you have boobs in the vagina for one hour, you wouldn't do it for one hour. 1.00

00:22:43.000 And what would you stick in it besides dicks? 1.00

00:22:43.000 No period. 1.00

00:22:44.000 No period.

00:22:45.000 Like, this is fresh as they come for one hour.

00:22:48.000 One hour, dude.

00:22:49.000 You would get bored.

00:22:50.000 You would want to start using it. 1.00

00:22:51.000 You'd be out on the street going, who wants to fuck? 1.00

00:22:52.000 I've got 40 minutes left as a woman. 1.00

00:22:54.000 Yeah, but if you're a superwoman, imagine flying around on top of the earth and just going, look how beautiful it is, and then start fingering your pussy and sucking it on your own tits. 1.00

00:23:04.000 No, maybe it was weird. 1.00

00:23:05.000 Why are you doing it? 0.99

00:23:06.000 Maybe it will stain your brain, and then when you come back to being a man again, it's imprinted in your memory, and now you just become gay. 1.00

00:23:13.000 Maybe. 0.99

00:23:14.000 Wasn't there a story about a dude who got in some sort of an accident and then became gay? 1.00

00:23:19.000 Yeah, I think that's bullshit. 1.00

00:23:20.000 Because the pictures of him before, he was like sucking dicks and stuff like that. 1.00

00:23:24.000 What? 1.00

00:23:24.000 No, I mean, he just had like, really, he looked gay. 1.00

00:23:27.000 So you think it was just a good excuse?

00:23:29.000 Yeah.

00:23:29.000 Like you realize, hey, life is short.

00:23:31.000 Maybe. 0.98

00:23:31.000 Why don't I just say that I just got knocked gay? 0.98

00:23:35.000 I don't know. 0.96

00:23:36.000 No, I just think if you're going to do it for an hour and you get to fly around and look at nature, you might as well finger yourself.

00:23:42.000 Okay.

00:23:43.000 Well, I can see your logic.

00:23:44.000 Pfft! 0.63

00:23:44.000 You really wouldn't do it for an hour. 0.63

00:23:46.000 No, I'm not really into being a chick at all.

00:23:48.000 For an hour, though.

00:23:49.000 What if it's stuck?

00:23:49.000 Just to try it.

00:23:50.000 You'd never be able to do it ever. 0.99

00:23:51.000 I wouldn't be convinced that you could fucking get snapped back. 0.98

00:23:53.000 You know what you're saying right now? 1.00

00:23:54.000 That's deep shit. 1.00

00:23:56.000 That's deep shit what you're saying. 1.00

00:23:57.000 This is hurt by millions of people. 1.00

00:23:59.000 For one hour. 1.00

00:24:01.000 You have to deny that shit, Brian. 1.00

00:24:02.000 Dude, this is like a mood from the 80s. 1.00

00:24:04.000 Dude, deny it.

00:24:05.000 Deny it.

00:24:05.000 Say that you're just trying to be funny right now.

00:24:07.000 No, no.

00:24:07.000 I think for one hour, it would be kind of fun.

00:24:09.000 You're curious to see how it would be to get railed.

00:24:13.000 You can make that happen easily. 0.99

00:24:15.000 You don't have to fucking... 0.99

00:24:16.000 You can actually make that happen. 0.99

00:24:18.000 I'm just saying, man, like most drugs, I'll try it once.

00:24:21.000 Wow. 0.99

00:24:22.000 But not gay sex or anything like that. 0.99

00:24:24.000 Except for that. 0.99

00:24:26.000 No, no, no. 1.00

00:24:27.000 I'm saying if I could be spider woman or spider man, might as well be spider woman because you have boobs and a vagina. 1.00

00:24:32.000 I'm not saying like, hey, I want to have a sex change. 1.00

00:24:36.000 If I was 12 and I lived in the 80s, I probably would agree with you.

00:24:42.000 Right.

00:24:43.000 Thank you.

00:24:45.000 I'm going to say...

00:24:48.000 No, I feel creepy.

00:24:50.000 Listen, man.

00:24:51.000 No, there's nothing wrong with it.

00:24:52.000 You can still deny it.

00:24:52.000 You can still say it's a joke.

00:24:54.000 Have you ever even contemplated the thought?

00:24:56.000 I mean, it's a funny thing for men, but even contemplated the thought of what it would be like to have, you know, to switch places and to be a woman.

00:25:03.000 You know, just what would it be like if you were born a woman? 0.93

00:25:05.000 I've never thought it ever, and I've never wanted to be a woman.

00:25:09.000 But if I had to choose between Spider-Woman and Spider-Man, I think I might go with the Spider-Woman.

00:25:14.000 No, I understand what you're saying.

00:25:15.000 I understand what you're saying, but I'm saying it's a funny thing that people get really uncomfortable about the idea of even pretending that you're a woman.

00:25:23.000 Like, or allowing yourself to even think, what would life be like as a woman?

00:25:28.000 Like, men are like, what are you doing?

00:25:29.000 What are you doing over there?

00:25:31.000 You know, like, it's a legitimate thought.

00:25:34.000 I mean, there's only two sexes, okay? 1.00

00:25:36.000 One's male and one's female. 0.81

00:25:38.000 If you happen to be male and heterosexual, how much do you understand about what it's like to be a female heterosexual?

00:25:44.000 Do you really understand it?

00:25:45.000 No!

00:25:45.000 You understand your side of it.

00:25:48.000 Would you, you know, if there was like a little thing, like a little chip, like Total Recall style, and you could be a woman having sex, and you could experience what it feels like to be a woman having sex with a man, Would you do it? 0.99

00:26:00.000 Or would that make you gay? 0.99

00:26:02.000 This superwoman would fly by the Eiffel Tower and just go That would be some shit that girls would find out and they'd be like really creeped out about you. 1.00

00:26:10.000 You're like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. 1.00

00:26:12.000 You did, out of all the things you could do with Total Recall, you went and you were a woman getting fucked by a guy? 0.99

00:26:18.000 Is that what you're telling me? 0.99

00:26:20.000 Well, I'm just, you know, it's not a gay thing at all.

00:26:23.000 I just wanted to understand the experience.

00:26:24.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 1.00

00:26:25.000 You could have done anything and all that money and you decided to be a girl getting fucked by a guy? 1.00

00:26:33.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:26:34.000 Well, you know, I mean, I don't think of it that way.

00:26:37.000 I think of it as like, you know, experiencing something that otherwise would be like completely out of my reach.

00:26:42.000 It sounds like there's a joke coming.

00:26:44.000 You know what I mean?

00:26:45.000 It sounds like that.

00:26:46.000 It could be.

00:26:47.000 Like one of your early 2000s, you know, you're talking to some chick on the phone.

00:26:52.000 Wait a minute, you mean to tell me?

00:26:54.000 Girls would not be happy with that. 1.00

00:26:55.000 I wouldn't be happy if I was a chick and I found out a dude pretended to be a girl and got fucked by cock and be like, whoa! 1.00

00:27:01.000 How much of that stays in your head? 1.00

00:27:02.000 How much of that stays in your head? 0.99

00:27:04.000 How much of the pleasure of cock that you enjoyed so much as a woman for that, you know, whatever amount of time? 1.00

00:27:09.000 How much of that is in your memories still? 0.99

00:27:11.000 Did you love the cock during that time? 0.99

00:27:13.000 Okay, because then you still love the cock. 1.00

00:27:15.000 It could turn you gay. 1.00

00:27:17.000 You could fuck around. 1.00

00:27:18.000 I'm just saying. 1.00

00:27:18.000 We're not saying you're gay. 1.00

00:27:19.000 It's probably going to happen. 0.92

00:27:20.000 I'm talking in comic book ways.

00:27:21.000 That's probably the future. 0.98

00:27:22.000 That's probably what gay is all about. 1.00

00:27:24.000 It's just some new evolutionary exchange so that we can have less people. 1.00

00:27:28.000 What I think is gayer, and this has been happening a lot on the Ice House Chronicles, is other comics, I think it's happened twice now, saying if they were in a steam room and Brad Pitt or George Clooney walked in, would they totally fuck them? 0.99

00:27:43.000 What? 0.99

00:27:43.000 And I think Burt Kreiser said yes. 0.99

00:27:45.000 Well, wait a minute. 1.00

00:27:46.000 Bert Kreischer said he would fuck Tom. 1.00

00:27:47.000 There was somebody else. 1.00

00:27:48.000 I can't even remember.

00:27:49.000 Bert Kreischer is just being funny.

00:27:50.000 No, but they were all both being serious.

00:27:51.000 I don't know if it was Bert Kreischer or not.

00:27:53.000 Somebody tweet me if they can remind me.

00:27:54.000 Oh, now you're saying you don't know if it's him.

00:27:56.000 That's a serious allegation.

00:27:57.000 I think it was.

00:27:58.000 I mean, Bravo is correct.

00:28:00.000 That's a serious allegation. 0.63

00:28:01.000 A gay allegation. 0.94

00:28:02.000 You better know that name is correct.

00:28:03.000 But that's been happening a lot lately.

00:28:06.000 And I'm like, why would you want to do it?

00:28:08.000 He's like, dude...

00:28:08.000 I think Sam Tripoli may be awesome.

00:28:10.000 But he's like, dude, it's fucking Brad Pitt. 0.98

00:28:12.000 Okay, but yeah, but you know... 0.99

00:28:15.000 You know that this is all just for humor.

00:28:17.000 I mean, you can't pretend these are real conversations you're having.

00:28:19.000 That's what I said.

00:28:20.000 You're just kidding.

00:28:21.000 Of course they are.

00:28:21.000 They're stand-up comedians.

00:28:23.000 They're going for the joke.

00:28:25.000 Of course they are.

00:28:26.000 I don't know whether or not Burt would actually let... 1.00

00:28:30.000 Burt might let Tom Cruise fuck him just for his story. 1.00

00:28:33.000 If Tom Cruise had a moderate to small-sized dick and he wore a condom and Burt didn't have to kiss him, Burt might do it just for the story. 1.00

00:28:46.000 Because Burt has the greatest stories in the history of the world. 0.99

00:28:48.000 And you don't have those stories without taking some chances.

00:28:52.000 I don't know.

00:28:53.000 But he might be willing to do it just for the story.

00:28:56.000 Most likely I'd say no though. 0.99

00:28:58.000 Damn. 0.99

00:28:59.000 He's not going to get mad when he hears it? 1.00

00:29:01.000 No, Bert Kreischer's the fucking man. 0.99

00:29:04.000 He's the funniest guy of all time. 0.99

00:29:06.000 He's right up there with Joey Diaz as far as ridiculous, natural humor. 0.99

00:29:11.000 He's just such a silly guy. 0.99

00:29:13.000 He's so fun. 0.99

00:29:15.000 Such a great guy to have around. 0.94

00:29:18.000 So that the last podcast, it was all fucked up. 1.00

00:29:21.000 And if you're Tom Cruise, you can fuck him, probably. 1.00

00:29:22.000 Just kidding. 1.00

00:29:24.000 It's fucked up. 0.99

00:29:24.000 It's in two parts. 0.99

00:29:25.000 You know, we had a...

00:29:27.000 Yeah, the Josh Barnett one you're talking about. 0.98

00:29:29.000 Yeah, we had like a power thing where I got electrocuted and shit.

00:29:33.000 Yeah, we have... 1.00

00:29:34.000 The Ice House, unfortunately, had a little issue with their electrical system that led to Brian getting electrocuted in his fucking face. 0.99

00:29:40.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:29:40.000 And so that night, I took... 0.99

00:29:44.000 After you left, after that podcast, I took apart the whole entire studio, co-hosted, Courtney came over and we went through and threw away all the stuff.

00:29:51.000 I went through every wire to make sure it was on my side.

00:29:54.000 And I put it back together and we had another podcast, The Bone Zone.

00:29:58.000 And right before the podcast started, somebody put in between the alley of the studio and the other building.

00:30:05.000 I think somebody said it was like an M100 or something like that, which is like a quarter stick of dynamite.

00:30:11.000 And it's a firework, but it went...

00:30:14.000 And they lit it?

00:30:14.000 But it's super illegal.

00:30:16.000 And lit it?

00:30:16.000 I don't know.

00:30:17.000 And went...

00:30:18.000 Boom! 0.99

00:30:19.000 Like, super loud.

00:30:20.000 I was inside, like, plugging the outlet in after hooking up all the thing, and I put it in, and I, like, stood up, and it happened.

00:30:27.000 And I thought it was that, you know, because I just got electrocuted.

00:30:30.000 But I felt it on my face.

00:30:32.000 My face, like, floppy, like the impact.

00:30:36.000 So someone threw a bomb at you.

00:30:38.000 Pretty much, but they were doing it in between because there was a comedy show coming out and some dude just threw it on the ground or something like that.

00:30:45.000 But where did it go?

00:30:46.000 Did it go inside the room?

00:30:47.000 No, no, no.

00:30:48.000 Outside the room, right outside the room in that alley.

00:30:51.000 So it was in a confined place because of the two alley.

00:30:56.000 Oh, right.

00:30:56.000 And there's that space there.

00:30:58.000 Oh, yeah.

00:30:58.000 And it was a...

00:31:00.000 Yeah, man. 1.00

00:31:00.000 Fireworks are a fucking ridiculous idea in California. 1.00

00:31:03.000 It's so goddamn dry. 1.00

00:31:04.000 I know. 0.99

00:31:05.000 People are shooting shit up in the air. 0.99

00:31:06.000 All day. 1.00

00:31:07.000 See what the fuck is going on in Colorado, man? 0.99

00:31:09.000 You know, there's this huge wildfire. 0.99

00:31:11.000 They think part of it was started.

00:31:12.000 One of the rumors is some kids were shooting at things.

00:31:15.000 Right. 1.00

00:31:15.000 And they're fucking around with guns. 1.00

00:31:17.000 Right. 0.99

00:31:17.000 And they hit a rock or something like that and caused a spark. 0.99

00:31:19.000 And that was it.

00:31:20.000 That's all she wrote. 1.00

00:31:21.000 So I shit myself. 0.99

00:31:22.000 We all ran outside. 0.98

00:31:23.000 Smoke everywhere.

00:31:24.000 People freaking out.

00:31:24.000 I thought the building was blowing up.

00:31:26.000 Like, I thought the electric thing, you know, and all this.

00:31:29.000 Like, something is not right.

00:31:31.000 You know, freaked out.

00:31:32.000 Anyways, we did the podcast. 1.00

00:31:33.000 All this shit happened. 0.97

00:31:35.000 After the podcast, I'm driving home, and I get to the stoplight, and I was about to go to the gas station, but I was like, no, I'm going to stay. 0.99

00:31:41.000 And this black dude starts walking up to me, holding two car stereos and something else, some other box, like a camcorder box or something like that. 0.96

00:31:51.000 And he stops.

00:31:52.000 He starts screaming at me.

00:31:54.000 And I turn up my stereos a little bit. 0.99

00:31:56.000 And then I tried to roll up my window, but my window is fucked up.

00:32:01.000 Like, it's like some setting where I hit it, and it will, like, roll up halfway, and then roll all the way down.

00:32:07.000 I'm like, so then I hit it again, and it rolls up, like, only a little bit, and then it rolls down. 0.58

00:32:11.000 I'm like, fuck, I'm just gonna keep it down. 0.83

00:32:12.000 And the guy starts screaming, like, and I'm just kind of ignoring him. 0.99

00:32:16.000 And finally, I'm like, in the corner of my eye, I'm like, alright, this dude's still staring at me and screaming at me, so I better look at him. 0.99

00:32:22.000 So I look at him, he goes, give me a fucking cigarette! 0.99

00:32:25.000 I'm like, oh, alright. 1.00

00:32:28.000 And he goes, throw it on the motherfucking ground! 0.99

00:32:31.000 I'm like, what? 1.00

00:32:32.000 He goes, I'll go to jail for you! 1.00

00:32:34.000 I got a gun, bitch! 1.00

00:32:35.000 And I'm like, uh, okay. 0.99

00:32:37.000 And I threw the cigarette on the ground, and he picks it up, and he just, like, stares at me for, like, a minute, and people are honking the horns around because everyone else is seeing what's going on, and he fucking starts acting like he's gonna walk to me, like, walk towards my window. 0.99

00:32:49.000 I'm like, dude, look, fucking psycho. 0.99

00:32:51.000 Like, he looked crazy. 0.99

00:32:52.000 And then I just, like, the light turned green over, like, and I, like, took off turbo style in my car. 0.99

00:32:59.000 But it was fucked up. 1.00

00:33:00.000 That whole day was fucked up. 1.00

00:33:02.000 That haunted-ass day. 1.00

00:33:04.000 Yeah, that was a weird day.

00:33:05.000 Josh Barnett was on the way up here from Orange County.

00:33:08.000 Got a blowout.

00:33:09.000 Barely controlled his car.

00:33:10.000 He said it was trying to go into the dividing wall.

00:33:12.000 He had to hold it together.

00:33:14.000 Pull over to the side of the road.

00:33:15.000 He got to get towed.

00:33:16.000 It changed his tire.

00:33:17.000 Then he got to the podcast.

00:33:18.000 By the time he got there, Brian had been electrocuted in the face.

00:33:22.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:33:22.000 That sucked. 0.95

00:33:24.000 Did you hear it? 0.99

00:33:24.000 Did you listen to it? 0.99

00:33:25.000 Yeah, I heard the pop.

00:33:26.000 Yeah, I saw this.

00:33:28.000 You could almost, like, see, like, a little...

00:33:29.000 There's a white spark.

00:33:30.000 Yeah.

00:33:31.000 I was like, I didn't really see that.

00:33:33.000 Did I really see that?

00:33:33.000 Yeah, you saw it.

00:33:34.000 It was like...

00:33:37.000 Yeah, that's not good. 1.00

00:33:39.000 Electrical shit is fucking freaky. 1.00

00:33:41.000 Scary as fuck. 1.00

00:33:43.000 Electrical fires, that kind of stuff too. 0.99

00:33:45.000 You've got to be real careful. 0.81

00:33:46.000 When you're getting sparks like that, who knows what the fuck that's going to hit. 0.99

00:33:49.000 Weird shit can happen. 0.97

00:33:51.000 The storm just hit through Ohio and most of Columbus doesn't have power right now. 0.99

00:33:56.000 Isn't that like a lot of the whole East Coast?

00:33:58.000 Yeah, my dad said that he won't have power until next Wednesday.

00:34:01.000 Jesus Christ.

00:34:02.000 And so he has a generator just to do his refrigerator and his TV and fans. 1.00

00:34:07.000 That's scary shit, man. 0.99

00:34:09.000 But do you have a generator? 1.00

00:34:10.000 No, I need to get one. 1.00

00:34:11.000 No shit. 0.99

00:34:12.000 It's scary to find out how easy it is for the power to go out. 1.00

00:34:15.000 You know?

00:34:15.000 It's scary.

00:34:16.000 Remember when there was some sort of scandal in California and they were doing these brownouts where they would just shut people's power off for a little while?

00:34:26.000 I don't remember what the scandal was.

00:34:28.000 I don't remember what...

00:34:30.000 But they had been shown that there was some collusion involved in shutting people's power off.

00:34:35.000 I don't know the exact story.

00:34:36.000 I'm totally butchering it.

00:34:37.000 But I remember thinking that, like, that was a scary thing, man, when that was going on, when they would just shut the power off in certain spots, you know?

00:34:45.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:34:46.000 It's like, wait a minute, you guys can't keep the fucking power on all the time? 0.99

00:34:49.000 What are we doing? 0.99

00:34:49.000 That's really fucking scary. 0.99

00:34:50.000 Yeah, it is scary. 0.99

00:34:51.000 It gets scary.

00:34:52.000 Like, how much power do we have?

00:34:54.000 Are we using it all up?

00:34:55.000 Like, what's going on here?

00:34:56.000 That Wizard last night is the second time where I've been like, alright, this is getting really dangerous out here.

00:35:01.000 You never know, man.

00:35:03.000 When you drive, you never know.

00:35:06.000 You can zig when you should have zagged, and all of a sudden there's a crazy dude in front of you.

00:35:09.000 You know, when Justin Martindale... 1.00

00:35:10.000 Get your fucking window fixed. 0.98

00:35:11.000 When Justin Martindale got recently robbed and stuff like that, a lot of people have been talking about it, and a lot of bartenders in Hollywood have been getting robbed because they have money at the end of the night, and they're leaving. 0.99

00:35:22.000 So these two guys are targeting these guys, and I guess...

00:35:26.000 From a friend of a friend, what they're saying is that there's a really bad problem right now with people getting mugged in Hollywood, but they're not saying anything because they don't want a lot of attention drawn to it.

00:35:39.000 But it's really bad. 0.98

00:35:41.000 A lot of people are getting fucked. 1.00

00:35:43.000 The economy's in the toilet, man. 1.00

00:35:45.000 More of a reason to do jiu-jitsu.

00:35:47.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:35:49.000 Or buy a gun.

00:35:51.000 I'm kidding about that. 0.99

00:35:55.000 We need to figure out what the fuck the problem is. 0.98

00:35:58.000 Our society, it's so funny how little we do or little we require in terms of government and as far as engineering our future, as far as figuring out a way to cut crime back, looking at all the methods that are possible. 0.98

00:36:17.000 I'm talking about looking at different methods to rehabilitate people.

00:36:21.000 Ibogaine or ayahuasca or anything that you could do that could help rehabilitate kids once they get into trouble.

00:36:30.000 Once you realize that they're headed down a bad alley.

00:36:32.000 We do nothing for that.

00:36:35.000 It's very little consideration.

00:36:37.000 It's not something that's on the internet every day. 0.98

00:36:40.000 They're talking about all these kids that are growing up in shitty homes.

00:36:42.000 And what we need to do is figure out a way to provide some sort of guidance for a kid that doesn't get it from home. 0.76

00:36:48.000 Some sort of a way to take advantage of all these young kids and give them something.

00:36:52.000 No, no, like, isn't that what, like, shouldn't that be a part of what, like, the government is?

00:36:56.000 Doesn't that make sense?

00:36:58.000 I mean, if you needed him for anything, wouldn't he, like, they would, let's say, we need to look at the future of our youth.

00:37:04.000 This is the plan. 0.97

00:37:06.000 We need to figure out a way to stop all the fucking people from dropping out of school. 0.99

00:37:10.000 We need to figure out a way to pay for more schools. 1.00

00:37:12.000 That kind of shit, wouldn't that be the answer in some way? 1.00

00:37:16.000 In a perfect world. 1.00

00:37:18.000 What's wrong with this world? 0.99

00:37:19.000 This world could be perfect if everybody got their shit together. 1.00

00:37:22.000 If the world was filled with cool motherfuckers, it is a perfect world. 1.00

00:37:26.000 We are the world. 1.00

00:37:27.000 We are the children. 0.97

00:37:30.000 It's totally possible for anyone to get their shit together, up to a reasonable point. 0.99

00:37:35.000 If you're a serial killer, you probably shouldn't be fucking hanging around, even if you're sorry. 0.99

00:37:39.000 But you know what I mean? 0.99

00:37:40.000 For most folks, it's very possible for anybody at some point in their life to have some sort of an experience that puts them on some sort of a path to eventually getting their shit together.

00:37:51.000 I don't count anybody out. 1.00

00:37:53.000 I think it's almost possible for everybody, except extreme idiots that are probably just here to dig holes. 1.00

00:37:59.000 I think there's got to be a few of those, too. 1.00

00:38:02.000 But other than that, right?

00:38:04.000 Yes.

00:38:09.000 I agree with you, yes.

00:38:11.000 I'm all down for positivity and prosperity. 1.00

00:38:16.000 All that shit. 0.99

00:38:20.000 I just think we have to figure out a way to make people nicer. 1.00

00:38:24.000 And the best way is all the shit they're trying to keep us from. 0.99

00:38:28.000 The best way is weed. 1.00

00:38:29.000 You see this Long Beach raid? 1.00

00:38:31.000 They fucking stepped on this kid's neck. 0.99

00:38:33.000 This kid did nothing wrong, complied completely. 1.00

00:38:37.000 They said, get on your knees, put your hands up.

00:38:39.000 Stepped right on his face.

00:38:40.000 The guy stepped on his back and then stepped on his neck. 1.00

00:38:43.000 Big fucking cop. 1.00

00:38:44.000 Big, big guy, man. 1.00

00:38:45.000 It was just like clumsy style. 0.99

00:38:47.000 Like, yeah, I don't give a shit about it. 0.99

00:38:48.000 Like, he doesn't give a fuck about him. 1.00

00:38:49.000 Like, I own you, bitch. 1.00

00:38:50.000 He stepped on him like a carpet. 1.00

00:38:51.000 But the problem is, they didn't know that they were being filmed.

00:38:53.000 And there was a camera up there.

00:38:55.000 And the camera apparently records at a remote location.

00:38:58.000 It doesn't even record there.

00:39:00.000 So you can't, like, get the video.

00:39:02.000 So the cops couldn't do anything.

00:39:03.000 They smashed the cameras.

00:39:05.000 But they couldn't do anything to get rid of the video. 1.00

00:39:07.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:39:08.000 They did this fucking video of them smashing the cameras. 1.00

00:39:11.000 Did you see that undercover kid? 1.00

00:39:12.000 Well, first of all, cops have no business smashing security cameras.

00:39:16.000 You have no business doing that. 1.00

00:39:18.000 You're supposed to abide by the fucking law. 1.00

00:39:20.000 Just because you're a cop doesn't mean because you enjoyed that episode of S.H.I.E.L.D. when that fucking, what is that, the S.H.I.E.L.D., what was that dude's name? 0.99

00:39:28.000 Michael Chiklis? 0.99

00:39:29.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:39:29.000 Michael Chiklis would rough people up and kick them and step on their head. 0.98

00:39:33.000 This is real life, you fucking cunt. 1.00

00:39:35.000 You're being paid by these people. 1.00

00:39:37.000 These people pay taxes, you fuckhead. 1.00

00:39:39.000 Yeah, watch the video. 1.00

00:39:39.000 It's on, I think, Long Beach Rage on YouTube. 1.00

00:39:42.000 I think that's what it is. 0.99

00:39:43.000 Look, 20 years ago, they would have beat the fucking kid to death with a bat and said that he came at him with a knife, you know? 0.99

00:39:50.000 I think bad cops today are under much more scrutiny than bad cops in the past. 0.99

00:39:55.000 If you look at Serpico and shit like that, look at those Al Pacino movies and hear about the stories of corruption and that movie Cocaine Cowboys where the whole Miami Police Department, half of one year of the graduating class of the police academy, half of them were murdered and the other half of them went to jail for corruption. 0.89

00:40:16.000 They were all gangsters. 0.98

00:40:18.000 They were breeding gangsters.

00:40:19.000 I don't think that's possible today.

00:40:21.000 I think cops today are way better than they've ever been before. 0.99

00:40:24.000 But a lot of them are under a lot of stress, and they develop a fucking us versus them mentality, and they do shit like that. 0.99

00:40:31.000 And they just step on some kid's neck, and they just did it because they could. 0.99

00:40:34.000 And that's a cunty thing, man.

00:40:35.000 You can't just do something because you can.

00:40:38.000 You can't just step on some kid's neck who's not doing anything wrong.

00:40:41.000 He's a young kid, too.

00:40:43.000 The kid looks like he's like 20, 21 years old, right?

00:40:45.000 He looks like a really young kid.

00:40:47.000 Is someone going after that guy?

00:40:48.000 Is someone going after the cop?

00:40:50.000 Yeah, there's no investigation.

00:40:51.000 Look, man, this kid didn't do anything wrong.

00:40:54.000 He did everything they asked of him.

00:40:55.000 And, you know, it was creepy.

00:40:57.000 You know, I don't want to bring race into it, but he's a black kid, and they're stepping on his back and stepping on his neck, and it's, you know... 1.00

00:41:05.000 I don't know what the race of the cop was.

00:41:06.000 He looked like he was a white cop. 1.00

00:41:08.000 I don't know what the fuck he was. 1.00

00:41:09.000 But either way, man, that's fucking completely uncalled for. 1.00

00:41:12.000 If that kid had been out there throwing rocks at Carson Street, fuck yeah, step on his neck. 1.00

00:41:18.000 If that kid had been out there robbing old ladies or beating people up, yeah, fuck yeah, step on his neck, man. 1.00

00:41:26.000 Kick him in the fucking head once you have him down. 1.00

00:41:28.000 But he didn't do anything! 1.00

00:41:30.000 Honestly, you should have just compiled the law.

00:41:32.000 You had him down on the ground, just handcuffed him.

00:41:33.000 Yeah, but I'm saying if you've got a dangerous person, you have to do something to immobilize them. 0.99

00:41:38.000 If you've got him lying down on the ground, man, I would for sure soccer kick him in the head if it was legal.

00:41:45.000 If you've got a really dangerous guy, if you have some Ted Bundy-type dude, and you're in a situation with him where he's resisting arrest... 0.97

00:41:57.000 You're not going to kick him in the head while he's on his way down? 1.00

00:42:00.000 Poke his stick in his butt. 1.00

00:42:01.000 Wouldn't you want to kill him? 1.00

00:42:03.000 I'd punch him as hard as I can in the shoulder. 1.00

00:42:06.000 Punch him in the shoulder? 1.00

00:42:07.000 What's legal? 0.72

00:42:08.000 If the guy makes a move on you, are you allowed to hit him?

00:42:11.000 How does that work for a cop?

00:42:13.000 Because cops have to be careful about that, right?

00:42:16.000 For sure, they're always on edge.

00:42:18.000 Because for sure, most people don't like to be arrested. 0.98

00:42:20.000 And you never know when someone's going to fucking freak out and punch you in the face and try to get away with something. 0.92

00:42:24.000 So for sure, they have to be on edge all the time. 0.98

00:42:27.000 But when they take it out on someone who does nothing, I can't take your side anymore. 1.00

00:42:31.000 Because now you're fucked up. 0.99

00:42:32.000 I'm on your side. 1.00

00:42:33.000 When you're dealing with the cunts of the world, I'm on your side. 1.00

00:42:36.000 But when you do that to a kid because he works in a place where they sell plants that make you happy, well then you're a cunt. 1.00

00:42:43.000 That's just the way it is. 1.00

00:42:44.000 This poor cop became a cunt. 1.00

00:42:46.000 He became a cunt by doing his job. 1.00

00:42:48.000 Probably didn't even realize he was a cunt. 1.00

00:42:50.000 He realizes he's a cunt now. 1.00

00:42:51.000 Now that video got out and people realize what a fucking shitty thing that is to do to a young kid. 1.00

00:42:56.000 It's becoming real good business to raid dispensaries and just rob them. 0.99

00:43:01.000 Yeah, they take their money.

00:43:02.000 They take the money.

00:43:04.000 Now it becomes more profitable for them for more states to legalize it as medicine. 1.00

00:43:11.000 They're just going to raid and fucking pillage. 0.98

00:43:15.000 Yeah, well, I hope there's some way to stop that. 0.99

00:43:18.000 I really do.

00:43:19.000 It's a disgrace.

00:43:20.000 And it's just one of those things where people are doing something just because they're allowed to do something.

00:43:24.000 If you look at the allocation of resources and how much crime exists in our world, you would say, well, let's concentrate on the things that are really hurting people.

00:43:34.000 You know, is marijuana really hurting people?

00:43:37.000 No, it's not.

00:43:38.000 You know what's really hurting people?

00:43:40.000 Murderers.

00:43:41.000 You know what's really hurting people? 0.97

00:43:42.000 Drunk drivers.

00:43:44.000 You know what's really hurting people?

00:43:45.000 People that are trying to harm people.

00:43:47.000 People that do assaults and rapes.

00:43:51.000 That's the stuff that we should be protecting people from.

00:43:54.000 Number one, when we get that under wraps, Then once you start looking at some other stuff, like personal use stuff, like alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, everything, all of the above, I think we should examine them all equally.

00:44:06.000 But what's unfair about our society is that these people that are supposed to be in control...

00:44:12.000 Supposed to be our leaders are for sure under a financial umbrella of one aspect of the community that's trying to keep these natural drugs illegal.

00:44:24.000 The pharmaceutical companies.

00:44:26.000 They would lose an incredible amount of money. 0.99

00:44:29.000 If you took all the illegal shit, like Ibogaine and marijuana, if all that stuff started getting researched and all that stuff started getting laws passed and government foundations where they set up Ibogaine research centers where people go in to relieve themselves of addictions, if that shit started happening, man, pharmaceutical drug companies would lose a fuckload of money! 0.98

00:44:52.000 I'm not saying they want people to be addicted to oxys and shit like that, but people are addicted! 0.99

00:44:59.000 And that money's coming in, man. 0.98

00:45:01.000 That money's coming in.

00:45:03.000 And it's not a little money.

00:45:05.000 It's rivers and rivers of money.

00:45:07.000 The pharmaceutical industry is so big, even if they have the best intentions, the amount of money is so staggering.

00:45:16.000 It just gets out there, man.

00:45:18.000 It finds a way to get out there. 0.98

00:45:19.000 Salesmen, even if it's not the fucking company's idea, they just take the weight off their shoulders. 0.98

00:45:23.000 Even to the pharmaceutical representatives, and the pharmaceutical representatives, they take nurses out to dinner, and doctors out to dinner, and they fund golf trips and shit, and they're like, come on, support our stuff! 0.99

00:45:34.000 They're like street hustlers, you know? 0.92

00:45:37.000 And then they connect it to the people, and boom!

00:45:39.000 People just get Pills, everywhere you look.

00:45:43.000 It's amazing.

00:45:44.000 It's amazing that we see it.

00:45:47.000 It's all written right down right there, and yet the government doesn't do anything about it.

00:45:51.000 They don't investigate that.

00:45:53.000 Instead, they go after medical marijuana dispensaries. 0.98

00:45:56.000 That's ridiculous.

00:45:57.000 If you look at the things that are doing harm in this world... 0.96

00:46:00.000 That you would spend any time whatsoever.

00:46:03.000 It's just like, why are you doing that?

00:46:05.000 You haven't done your homework yet.

00:46:07.000 You haven't finished your job.

00:46:08.000 You haven't done the right thing.

00:46:09.000 Why are you concentrating on these extracurricular things?

00:46:12.000 Because they're written down and they're easy.

00:46:15.000 It's written down that it's legal.

00:46:16.000 So even though the community would completely disagree, if you look at the allocation of resources, I guarantee you the community would completely disagree.

00:46:22.000 Forget about all the murderers.

00:46:24.000 Let's get a team of people together that aren't doing any other real police work that day and make them do something that's abhorrent. 1.00

00:46:32.000 Make them rob a bunch of fucking people that are selling marijuana state-legally. 1.00

00:46:37.000 Sad. 1.00

00:46:38.000 It's sad.

00:46:39.000 It's sad that the cops have to resort to that.

00:46:41.000 It's sad.

00:46:41.000 It's weird seeing the undercover cop in the video, because he was dressed up all teenage-y and stuff.

00:46:47.000 The whole thing is completely sad as fuck. 0.98

00:46:51.000 I feel sad for the cops that have to do that. 0.99

00:46:53.000 I really do. 1.00

00:46:54.000 I think most cops do not want to do bullshit, stupid fucking pot dispensary butts. 1.00

00:47:00.000 Especially this one. 1.00

00:47:01.000 This one's so small.

00:47:02.000 If you look at it, it looks like it's just a tiny operation, but they just destroyed it and stepped on people. 1.00

00:47:07.000 It's fucking gross. 0.99

00:47:08.000 I blame the leadership, man. 1.00

00:47:10.000 I blame the leadership.

00:47:11.000 I think most of these street cops, they do what they have to do because they get told what to do.

00:47:16.000 I think that we ought to look at what we're doing, man. 0.96

00:47:19.000 You can't keep arresting people for no fucking reason just because they're selling weed. 1.00

00:47:23.000 It's stupid. 1.00

00:47:24.000 It's just stupid. 1.00

00:47:25.000 Let them pay taxes, goddammit. 1.00

00:47:27.000 There's money to be made here. 0.99

00:47:28.000 Or treat them at least like humans. 0.84

00:47:30.000 At least, you know, the whole idea of like going after them and raiding them and taking the money, it's so gross. 0.97

00:47:37.000 It's disgusting.

00:47:38.000 It's like, what are you preventing? 1.00

00:47:40.000 Are you preventing any crime other than this stupid fucking written thing that says somewhere that you're not supposed to enjoy certain experiences because the government has deemed them out of your reach? 0.99

00:47:50.000 The government that hasn't even had these experiences. 1.00

00:47:53.000 That's disgusting. 0.99

00:47:56.000 God damn it, Eddie Bravo. 1.00

00:47:59.000 Yeah, man. 1.00

00:47:59.000 It's disgusting, right? 1.00

00:48:00.000 Yes. 0.90

00:48:01.000 It's crazy.

00:48:02.000 You checked out.

00:48:02.000 You know, the people at the high levels, they know the truth.

00:48:06.000 They know how beautiful and magical the plant is.

00:48:08.000 Do you think they do?

00:48:09.000 Of course they do.

00:48:10.000 Do you think they actually experience it?

00:48:12.000 You don't think the pharmaceutical business doesn't know that?

00:48:16.000 You think they don't have any idea?

00:48:18.000 Of course they know.

00:48:18.000 They want to stomp it out.

00:48:19.000 If you work for a pharmaceutical business, you just get pharmaceuticals like a motherfucker. 0.99

00:48:23.000 Like every day you're at the office just trading pills back and forth to each other. 1.00

00:48:27.000 Shit, yeah. 1.00

00:48:28.000 Oh, you know what? 1.00

00:48:28.000 I will say this, man. 1.00

00:48:29.000 I fucked up my back the other day in jiu-jitsu and I took a Vicodin. 0.99

00:48:34.000 I took a Vicodin and two Percocets and my back was still fucked up. 1.00

00:48:38.000 That shit fucks with your boner. 1.00

00:48:40.000 First time ever I went limp during sex. 1.00

00:48:42.000 Wow.

00:48:43.000 Vicodins and Percocets?

00:48:44.000 Yeah, I was on... 1.00

00:48:45.000 Two Percocets, maybe three, and a Vicodin, and that night I try to have sex, my dick just fell apart. 1.00

00:48:50.000 It sounds like your body is probably being poisoned. 1.00

00:48:53.000 First time I went limp in a long time, many years. 1.00

00:48:56.000 That's a lot of shit, man. 1.00

00:48:57.000 Are you supposed to mix in like that? 1.00

00:48:58.000 Dude, my back's fucked right now. 1.00

00:49:00.000 It's still fucked up. 1.00

00:49:01.000 What part of your back? 0.99

00:49:02.000 Your lower back?

00:49:02.000 My lower back.

00:49:03.000 It froze on me, man.

00:49:04.000 I slept on the floor last night trying to work it out.

00:49:06.000 Apparently, if you sleep on the floor...

00:49:07.000 I don't know if that's a myth, that if you sleep on the floor, it's good for your back.

00:49:11.000 You should get it in isolation.

00:49:12.000 It'll help a little...

00:49:14.000 It doesn't seem like it would be.

00:49:15.000 It seems like your back would be ruined from sleeping on the floor.

00:49:17.000 Did you get a massage or anything?

00:49:18.000 No, I haven't.

00:49:19.000 I haven't had time.

00:49:20.000 Don't use a pillow.

00:49:21.000 But I need one.

00:49:22.000 Yeah, go to a deep tissue person. 1.00

00:49:24.000 Someone who's going to fuck your shit up. 1.00

00:49:26.000 Thai massage. 1.00

00:49:27.000 Yeah, that's good too, but you might be in pain for a Thai massage. 1.00

00:49:30.000 They might want to bend you up and shit. 0.99

00:49:32.000 It's a lot better today than it was yesterday. 0.99

00:49:34.000 I'm on no pain pills today.

00:49:36.000 Yesterday I was on the pain pills.

00:49:37.000 I'm on no pain pills today.

00:49:39.000 And it still hurts, but at least I don't have to take any Vicodins.

00:49:42.000 Wow, man. 0.99

00:49:43.000 I never take shit when I get injured. 0.99

00:49:45.000 I hurt my back pretty bad like four months ago. 0.98

00:49:49.000 It was a real annoying thing for a while.

00:49:51.000 I'm glad that I can just deal with it because if I had gotten on something, if I had taken some sort of pain pills, I'd be taking it for a few months.

00:49:58.000 I could have got addicted easily.

00:50:01.000 I don't know.

00:50:01.000 I don't know what the physiological effects of that are, but I was in some pretty good pain most of the time for like a whole month and a half.

00:50:09.000 And 98% of the time I have sex, I'm high. 0.99

00:50:13.000 And that doesn't fuck with my boner. 0.99

00:50:15.000 No, that makes it better. 0.99

00:50:17.000 Doesn't it make you more compassionate?

00:50:19.000 It makes you more sensual? 0.89

00:50:21.000 It makes the orgasm huge. 0.96

00:50:23.000 See, I'm weird about it. 0.60

00:50:24.000 I like weed, but I think alcohol. 0.99

00:50:27.000 I love fucking when I'm on alcohol. 0.99

00:50:29.000 It's an inhibition thing, too. 0.99

00:50:30.000 A lot of people don't like the...

00:50:32.000 Really?

00:50:33.000 Alcohol.

00:50:33.000 You know, people always say, uh, I can get, you know, whiskey dick, you know, or something like that.

00:50:36.000 Well, if you get really fucked up, you can get whiskey dick, but... 1.00

00:50:39.000 Yeah, you'd have to drink a lot, man. 1.00

00:50:40.000 Yeah, I would not...

00:50:41.000 I'd have to be not alive.

00:50:42.000 Yeah, you know, of course.

00:50:43.000 You're a little tipsy.

00:50:44.000 We've all been there.

00:50:45.000 You have a glass of wine.

00:50:46.000 I've certainly been there.

00:50:47.000 Some weed. 0.99

00:50:47.000 I've gotten whiskey dick before, for sure. 0.99

00:50:49.000 Really? 1.00

00:50:50.000 Fuck yeah, for sure. 1.00

00:50:51.000 I don't think I've ever done that. 1.00

00:50:52.000 Dude, if you fuck... 1.00

00:50:53.000 You start... 1.00

00:50:54.000 The problem when you start drinking is alcohol reduces inhibitions, all right?

00:50:58.000 It removes your inhibitions, and...

00:51:00.000 It removes your inhibitions more with every drink.

00:51:04.000 So, you know, if you're a little tipsy, you got, like, a little bit of inhibitions removed.

00:51:10.000 You ever throw up on a chick?

00:51:11.000 No.

00:51:12.000 I did. 1.00

00:51:13.000 Right as I was about to eat her pussy. 1.00

00:51:15.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:51:16.000 All over her pussy. 1.00

00:51:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:17.000 Hot chick. 1.00

00:51:18.000 I was 19. She was like...

00:51:22.000 We were drinking Greyhounds.

00:51:23.000 I'll never forget it.

00:51:24.000 It was the Greyhounds.

00:51:25.000 What's a Greyhound?

00:51:26.000 Greyhound is...

00:51:28.000 I think it's gin.

00:51:31.000 What is it, Greyhound?

00:51:32.000 It's light green, light yellow.

00:51:34.000 I'm not sure what the alcohol is.

00:51:35.000 A bunch of blueberries?

00:51:37.000 It's grapefruit juice and vodka or something like that.

00:51:40.000 I think it's grapefruit juice and vodka. 0.99

00:51:42.000 Anyways, it was a Greyhound, whatever the fuck it is. 0.98

00:51:44.000 I'm not a bartender. 0.99

00:51:46.000 So, man, I couldn't believe I was getting this piece of ice.

00:51:50.000 Super hot, opened up the legs, and right... 0.95

00:51:52.000 All I remember is... 0.57

00:51:56.000 I threw up on her.

00:51:57.000 They just grabbed me.

00:51:58.000 She grabbed me.

00:51:59.000 They dragged me down the hallway.

00:52:01.000 And I just remember scenes of going through the hallway, throwing up down the hallway.

00:52:05.000 And they're trying to get me to the toilet.

00:52:07.000 And I finally get to the toilet.

00:52:08.000 I have a couple more yaks left. 1.00

00:52:12.000 Never fucked her. 1.00

00:52:14.000 Never saw her again. 1.00

00:52:15.000 Ever.

00:52:15.000 Never saw that one.

00:52:17.000 There's no way you can come back from that. 1.00

00:52:18.000 You can fuck the throw up into her. 1.00

00:52:20.000 When I was young and I first started drinking, ew, Brian. 1.00

00:52:24.000 Use that lube on her ass. 1.00

00:52:26.000 When I was... 1.00

00:52:26.000 Brian. 1.00

00:52:28.000 Carrot in there.

00:52:29.000 What? 1.00

00:52:30.000 Take the carrot out and fuck her in the ass. 1.00

00:52:32.000 Brian, please. 1.00

00:52:33.000 Enzymes are a good lubrication.

00:52:34.000 That's not funny. 0.99

00:52:35.000 This is retarded. 1.00

00:52:36.000 I think you can burn yourself. 1.00

00:52:37.000 You can probably burn your dick. 1.00

00:52:38.000 Your stomach acid in your penis hole. 1.00

00:52:41.000 Sir, why do you have bile burns on your dick? 1.00

00:52:43.000 Whatever, whatever. 1.00

00:52:46.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:52:46.000 Fucking nothing, whatever, man. 0.99

00:52:48.000 Come on, who doesn't? 1.00

00:52:49.000 Come on, man. 1.00

00:52:51.000 Nobody ain't throwed up on your dick. 1.00

00:52:57.000 Yeah, blow up you threw up in her and then just said it's all slippery down there. 1.00

00:53:00.000 Let me just start. 1.00

00:53:01.000 Yeah, I might be good like goobering and shit. 0.99

00:53:03.000 It might be really good. 0.99

00:53:04.000 It was over.

00:53:04.000 I fell asleep while I was going down on my girlfriend once.

00:53:07.000 At least once.

00:53:09.000 When I was young, I used to have my paper route.

00:53:11.000 Yeah, that's quite common.

00:53:13.000 But I didn't fall asleep because I was tired because I threw papers all day.

00:53:16.000 I got tired of being drunk and I partied all night.

00:53:19.000 You just get home and pull down your pants and you just fall asleep or something.

00:53:23.000 She goes to the bathroom and you're just waiting and you're done.

00:53:26.000 She comes back and you're snoring.

00:53:27.000 Were you guys ever paperboys?

00:53:29.000 Yeah, I was.

00:53:29.000 How creepy is that now looking back?

00:53:31.000 They don't have paperboys anymore.

00:53:33.000 I wasn't a boy.

00:53:33.000 I was a paper man.

00:53:34.000 I had a car.

00:53:35.000 I only delivered it with a car.

00:53:37.000 I was in 6th or 7th grade, and I remember waking up at 5 a.m.

00:53:41.000 My parents weren't even awake, and I would go outside and find these newspapers and have to put them in the bags.

00:53:47.000 You know what, man?

00:53:48.000 It's weird.

00:53:49.000 It's weird now because the fact that you are out there unsupervised, and we know how creepy people are, how creepy adults are.

00:53:56.000 But it's good for a kid to get some sort of responsibility.

00:54:00.000 Something that they don't want to necessarily do, but they do. 0.99

00:54:05.000 And learn how to just fucking... 0.99

00:54:07.000 Some shit in your life is going to need to just get done. 1.00

00:54:10.000 You're going to need to do that. 0.99

00:54:11.000 There's a good benefit to teaching a kid that early.

00:54:16.000 That's what's great about a paper route.

00:54:18.000 I remember kids that I knew that had paper routes when I was young.

00:54:22.000 They were, like, more organized than the other kids. 0.98

00:54:24.000 They're, like, more like, like, Jimmy's got a fucking landscape business already. 0.99

00:54:28.000 He's 13. Like, what? 0.99

00:54:29.000 It's a fucking landscape business. 0.99

00:54:31.000 Like, this kid, he started out with a paper route, and then, I mean, when the kid was, like, fucking delivering newspapers on a bike every morning before school. 1.00

00:54:39.000 Like, that guy's ambitious as fuck. 0.98

00:54:41.000 He would get up like an hour and a half before everybody else had to get up for school. 0.99

00:54:45.000 And he would go down with his bike, get his newspapers, and then fucking drive around on his bike and deliver newspapers. 1.00

00:54:51.000 That motherfucker had some stick-to-itiveness. 1.00

00:54:54.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:54:55.000 I had a friend do the same thing.

00:54:56.000 One of my good friends growing up.

00:54:57.000 Yeah, you learn.

00:54:59.000 You learn how to work hard when you're a kid like that.

00:55:03.000 But that's not good.

00:55:05.000 I was never good at waking up early.

00:55:07.000 It's torture. 0.96

00:55:08.000 It sucked. 0.66

00:55:09.000 Sleep is awesome. 0.99

00:55:10.000 Goddammit, I'm enjoying my life right now. 0.98

00:55:12.000 That's one of the things monkeys like to do. 0.99

00:55:14.000 Sit back and fucking chill. 0.99

00:55:16.000 Oh man, can I just relax a little longer here? 0.99

00:55:18.000 Apparently when you get older, you don't want to sleep in anymore?

00:55:21.000 You just wake up?

00:55:22.000 What?

00:55:23.000 Is that true?

00:55:24.000 I've been waking up a lot earlier today.

00:55:25.000 Because you always hear old people waking up at 6 or 5. People are weird. 1.00

00:55:31.000 Who knows?

00:55:31.000 Everybody's got their own clock.

00:55:33.000 That would be awesome.

00:55:34.000 My clock is, I'm up.

00:55:35.000 It's been my clock since I was a comedian, where you write.

00:55:41.000 Noonish.

00:55:42.000 Noonish?

00:55:43.000 You go that deep?

00:55:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:55:44.000 Damn. 1.00

00:55:44.000 I like to go noonish. 1.00

00:55:46.000 You're up really, really late.

00:55:48.000 10.30.

00:55:48.000 I'm up late, but you're always up later than me, I think.

00:55:51.000 Oh, really?

00:55:51.000 Usually like 5.00.

00:55:53.000 Yeah, my best shit gets done. 1.00

00:55:55.000 My best work gets done at night. 0.99

00:55:58.000 When I know everybody else is asleep, for whatever reason, I want to know my whole neighborhood is asleep.

00:56:03.000 I want to know there's nothing.

00:56:05.000 There's no sound. 0.99

00:56:06.000 It's like Mike Tyson shit right there. 0.99

00:56:07.000 I don't know what it is. 0.99

00:56:10.000 Didn't he get up at 3 because he knew no one else was working out?

00:56:13.000 Yeah.

00:56:13.000 He would get up at 3 o'clock in the morning because I knew my opponents wouldn't be doing that.

00:56:20.000 It's really good, man.

00:56:21.000 Mike Tyson's one of the easiest...

00:56:23.000 He's an easy one.

00:56:24.000 He's an easy one.

00:56:24.000 Yeah.

00:56:25.000 Tyson and Arnold, and those are like the staples.

00:56:29.000 Yeah.

00:56:30.000 For a while, when we were younger, it was Captain Kirk and Jack Nicholson.

00:56:33.000 Remember everybody would do a Jack Nicholson impression?

00:56:36.000 Yeah.

00:56:37.000 Well...

00:56:37.000 It's a weird thing, dudes.

00:56:38.000 What's the funniest impression right now?

00:56:42.000 I don't know.

00:56:42.000 Who's like the funniest impressionist?

00:56:44.000 Who's your favorite guy?

00:56:46.000 Michael Winslow?

00:56:49.000 Sandy...

00:56:49.000 Is he still around?

00:56:51.000 He's the guy that makes insane noises with his mouth.

00:56:54.000 He still does voices? 1.00

00:56:55.000 Yeah, he has whammy paddles and shit. 1.00

00:56:57.000 His show is ridiculous. 1.00

00:56:58.000 You can't believe that it's actually coming out of his mouth. 1.00

00:57:01.000 He did...

00:57:02.000 What is...

00:57:05.000 Not Purple Haze. 1.00

00:57:06.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:57:06.000 What is the... 1.00

00:57:09.000 I forget what the fucking... 0.99

00:57:10.000 Voodoo Child. 1.00

00:57:12.000 He did Voodoo Child at the beginning with his mouth. 0.98

00:57:14.000 You should actually pull it up because it's kind of fucking incredible. 0.96

00:57:17.000 Michael Winslow? 0.95

00:57:17.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:57:18.000 Oh yeah, we played this like...

00:57:19.000 Did we play this?

00:57:20.000 Yeah, like 10 episodes ago.

00:57:21.000 I don't remember playing this.

00:57:22.000 Yeah, we totally did.

00:57:23.000 That's the only way I know it.

00:57:25.000 No, you told me about it.

00:57:26.000 Did I really?

00:57:27.000 Yeah.

00:57:27.000 You sure?

00:57:27.000 Yeah, we played it.

00:57:28.000 Man, I forgot, but I want to see it again.

00:57:29.000 Can we see it again?

00:57:30.000 Please, because I... I forgot.

00:57:34.000 I think it was a long time ago, dude.

00:57:36.000 No, because I remember it was about maybe 20 episodes ago.

00:57:41.000 But there's something cool about watching someone imitate. 0.91

00:57:43.000 Oh, you know who was a fucking awesome impressionist? 0.96

00:57:45.000 Dice Clay. 0.99

00:57:47.000 Dice Clay has like the best John Travolta.

00:57:50.000 Oh, yeah.

00:57:50.000 Amazing John Travolta.

00:57:52.000 He's got Italian.

00:57:53.000 Freddie Lockhart.

00:57:54.000 Jeff Richards is really good.

00:57:55.000 But it's really good.

00:57:57.000 Yeah, Freddie Lockhart's amazing.

00:57:58.000 Freddie Lockhart's Morgan Freeman, that's probably one of the best impressions I've ever heard.

00:58:02.000 It's as dead-on as you can get. 0.99

00:58:04.000 Like, if he called you up and said, I'd like to put you in a movie, you'd be like, whoa, shit. 0.99

00:58:09.000 I'd be in a movie with Morgan Freeman. 1.00

00:58:11.000 This is crazy, man.

00:58:19.000 This is gonna freak you out.

00:58:22.000 Have you heard this, Eddie?

00:58:25.000 No.

00:58:26.000 This is a dude with a guitar and then Michael Winslow's mouth.

00:58:31.000 Oh, it's a whole lot of love. 0.99

00:58:32.000 that's what it is fuck yeah Way down inside What do you need? 1.00

00:58:57.000 Gonna give my love Gonna give my love Fuck yeah! 1.00

00:59:16.000 Jumping in the house yo! 1.00

00:59:28.000 Come on man!

00:59:36.000 That's his mouth! 1.00

00:59:42.000 Goddamn! 0.99

00:59:44.000 You know, there's a lot of comedy snobs out there, man, that got no respect for Michael Winslow. 0.98

01:00:05.000 You know, I think that guy...

01:00:06.000 That was incredible.

01:00:07.000 That's amazing. 1.00

01:00:08.000 That shit's genius. 1.00

01:00:09.000 There's people like, oh, he's making noise with his mouth. 1.00

01:00:11.000 That is completely not just what he's doing.

01:00:15.000 He's on some crazy another level with that.

01:00:18.000 That is wild, man.

01:00:20.000 Yeah, that was great. 1.00

01:00:21.000 The fucking noises that he can make with his mouth. 1.00

01:00:24.000 And the way he did it in tune. 1.00

01:00:26.000 And even his singing was good.

01:00:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:00:28.000 His fucking Robert Plant was good. 0.99

01:00:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:00:30.000 That's amazing.

01:00:31.000 You have to watch that, folks.

01:00:32.000 Check that out on YouTube.

01:00:34.000 Because it's such a weird thing to watch.

01:00:35.000 You watch it and you go like, wow!

01:00:37.000 Like, you really get the...

01:00:38.000 You see the...

01:00:39.000 Like, that's his mouth! 1.00

01:00:42.000 Motherfucker. 1.00

01:00:43.000 Do you think he smokes weed? 1.00

01:00:45.000 He's got to.

01:00:47.000 I'm going to say yes.

01:00:48.000 If he doesn't, I would be shocked.

01:00:49.000 If he doesn't, he's even more impressive. 1.00

01:00:52.000 If he doesn't, you got to get him high and then shit. 1.00

01:00:56.000 He'll take that shit to the next level. 1.00

01:00:58.000 Could you imagine the fucking noises that guy would make if he doesn't? 1.00

01:01:01.000 Alien noises and shit. 1.00

01:01:02.000 I wonder if when he fucks, if he has a little joke he does to the ladies. 1.00

01:01:06.000 Probably throws his voice and shit. 1.00

01:01:08.000 Pretends to be other people. 0.99

01:01:10.000 Yeah.

01:01:11.000 He probably has that killer snap.

01:01:13.000 Because everyone's got an okay one.

01:01:15.000 I got a cool one. 0.99

01:01:17.000 But he's probably got a fucking one that's in stereo. 0.98

01:01:19.000 Well, he probably could pretend to be different dudes, too. 0.99

01:01:22.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:01:23.000 Damn. 1.00

01:01:26.000 Come in with a fucking Australian Catarachist hat on and a long mustache and a new voice. 1.00

01:01:33.000 I just want to eat this pussy. 1.00

01:01:37.000 If there was a thing like what we were talking about earlier about actually having an artificial experience and if we ever get to the point technologically where they can do that, like shut you off and tune you into some crazy fake avatar world for like an hour, would you be willing to take that chance? 0.99

01:01:53.000 Would you be willing to try that? 0.98

01:01:55.000 Depends if I have a vagina. 1.00

01:01:57.000 I would be Kenato Laranja just for one hour. 0.99

01:02:02.000 But I mean, would you trust it?

01:02:04.000 Would you trust it?

01:02:04.000 I mean, would you...

01:02:06.000 Look, when you have a psychedelic experience, the scariest part about it is right before you're about to do it. 0.99

01:02:12.000 You know, when you're like, fuck, I can't fucking... 0.99

01:02:14.000 I'm gonna let go here. 1.00

01:02:15.000 If people were dying from this shit, no. 0.99

01:02:18.000 I wouldn't do it. 1.00

01:02:18.000 I'd wait for the... 1.00

01:02:19.000 What if it was the first time?

01:02:21.000 You wouldn't want to be the technological version of the artificial lip.

01:02:26.000 I would trust that more than trusting Cricket Mobile's thing to the moon. 1.00

01:02:31.000 Then you'll see those fucking commercials. 0.99

01:02:34.000 Have you been another person in another life? 1.00

01:02:37.000 If you have chosen Spider-Woman, you could have cancer.

01:02:41.000 We'll fight for you.

01:02:43.000 You know what I mean?

01:02:43.000 You never know.

01:02:44.000 These pills that come out, a year later, they're giving you fucking heart attacks. 1.00

01:02:48.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:02:48.000 Well, there's some of them that are certainly doing that. 0.99

01:02:50.000 Dr. Drew. 0.99

01:02:51.000 Yeah, Dr. Drew's in deep shit. 1.00

01:02:53.000 What's up with that? 1.00

01:02:54.000 Dr. Drew apparently was paid to talk up, or allegedly, I should say, paid to talk up the sexual side effects of certain...

01:03:06.000 What are they called?

01:03:07.000 Viagras?

01:03:08.000 No, antidepressants, but I forget the actual technical term.

01:03:11.000 Anyway, this type of antidepressant on many people, with many formulations, causes people to go limp.

01:03:19.000 But some girl calls up and says she had like 150 orgasms, and then Dr. Drew was apparently pushing this stuff.

01:03:24.000 And they paid him a quarter of a million dollars to do that.

01:03:27.000 And he didn't really necessarily disclose that they paid him All this money.

01:03:32.000 Allegedly. 0.98

01:03:33.000 But I would like to see that girl do 150 orgasms or whatever. 1.00

01:03:36.000 That'd be so hot. 1.00

01:03:37.000 Yeah, that bitch sounds crazy. 1.00

01:03:38.000 But you never know when people are trolling. 1.00

01:03:40.000 She's calling Loveline, man.

01:03:41.000 She could be totally trolling. 1.00

01:03:42.000 I mean, there's people who completely pretend that they have something wrong with them when they don't.

01:03:46.000 For sure they get a lot of people that are legit.

01:03:48.000 But we know all the trolls on the internet.

01:03:51.000 You don't think that people are compiling some troll footage on Loveline?

01:03:55.000 Check out her mattress.

01:03:55.000 See if there's any stains.

01:03:57.000 I'm sure if you have that much orgasms, there's going to be a lot. 0.65

01:04:00.000 Yeah, that's what you would do. 0.81

01:04:01.000 Well, I'm not sure if I believe your story, ma'am. 0.99

01:04:03.000 So let me come to your house and deeply investigate your claim by going into your fucking bedroom and examining your mattress. 1.00

01:04:10.000 Do you even hear yourself? 1.00

01:04:12.000 Do you ever look at your old mattress?

01:04:13.000 I just got a new mattress.

01:04:14.000 That's how I know it.

01:04:15.000 I took off my sheet. 0.99

01:04:16.000 It looked like fucking brown drip. 0.98

01:04:20.000 It looked like a lot of liquids and stuff. 0.99

01:04:22.000 Then there was some blood spots.

01:04:24.000 There was a lot of different colors.

01:04:27.000 Easy over here.

01:04:29.000 They say that your mattress actually gets heavier with human skin cells.

01:04:34.000 Your mattress, when you buy it, is X amount of weight.

01:04:37.000 Then you have it for a couple of years.

01:04:38.000 It's heavier.

01:04:40.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:04:40.000 That's creepy as shit, man. 0.99

01:04:42.000 Dust. 1.00

01:04:43.000 Dust mines.

01:04:43.000 We're gross.

01:04:44.000 We're gross, man. 0.99

01:04:45.000 That's what dust is. 0.91

01:04:46.000 Most of it is our skin. 1.00

01:04:48.000 Our creepy fucking skin. 1.00

01:04:49.000 That's why you put sheets on your mattress. 1.00

01:04:50.000 Yeah, you know what's key?

01:04:52.000 Constantly scrubbing everything.

01:04:54.000 This time around I got something that's like these waterproof sheets where you put it around your whole entire mattress and it locks it in so nothing can get in there.

01:05:02.000 And it's on the outside.

01:05:03.000 It feels like nice cushion.

01:05:06.000 And then you put your regular sheets on top of that. 0.99

01:05:07.000 And it totally will make that shit not happen. 0.97

01:05:11.000 You know, like the stains and all the dust and skin and bugs. 0.99

01:05:17.000 It makes it waterproof, pretty much. 0.99

01:05:19.000 Damn. 0.99

01:05:20.000 Check those out. 1.00

01:05:21.000 They're called waterproof sheets, I think they are.

01:05:22.000 Oh, so does it feel like slimy underneath you?

01:05:26.000 No, no.

01:05:26.000 Does it slip around?

01:05:26.000 No, because it's like on the outside, it's like a fabric.

01:05:30.000 Like a fabric, a real soft, almost like teddy bear.

01:05:33.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

01:05:34.000 Damn, I would hate it. 1.00

01:05:34.000 Back in my single days, I would hate it when girls would have like periods and shit during sex. 1.00

01:05:40.000 Like, you just ruined my... 1.00

01:05:41.000 This shit went all the way through to the mattress. 1.00

01:05:44.000 I know. 1.00

01:05:45.000 That sucks. 1.00

01:05:46.000 That shit sucks, man. 1.00

01:05:47.000 Everyone has... 1.00

01:05:48.000 Not everyone, but...

01:05:50.000 I'm sure you've had a mattress or two that had all sorts of stains.

01:05:55.000 I don't look like a UFC man.

01:05:56.000 You know what I mean?

01:05:57.000 UFC man?

01:05:58.000 You gotta put a towel down, son.

01:06:02.000 They don't always tell you.

01:06:03.000 Or they say, dude, no, I'm done.

01:06:05.000 I stopped yesterday. 1.00

01:06:06.000 And then you fuck them and it starts back up. 1.00

01:06:08.000 And then you have a girl that squirts and just... 1.00

01:06:12.000 Don't you feel embarrassed for the girl, though?

01:06:14.000 Do you ever actually get upset at a girl if she has her period?

01:06:16.000 No, no, no.

01:06:17.000 No, I don't.

01:06:18.000 I don't, but I don't like when it's messy. 0.99

01:06:20.000 I've always been so happy that someone was willing to fuck me. 0.99

01:06:23.000 I'm like, oh, well, you made a mess. 1.00

01:06:24.000 Oh, you shit the bed. 0.99

01:06:25.000 Well, let's just clean that up and not worry about that. 1.00

01:06:28.000 I don't mind blood all over my dick. 1.00

01:06:30.000 I can just wash that shit up. 1.00

01:06:32.000 It's just now I got stains on shit. 1.00

01:06:33.000 Yeah, there's a difference between that, like where you fuck them and it's accidentally blood, or when they just know that their period was near and they're like, no, I just want to sleep naked. 0.99

01:06:41.000 And you're like, come on, that's not taking responsibility for having an open wound, you know? 0.98

01:06:45.000 Oh, does it leak out while they're sleeping?

01:06:48.000 Yeah, I guess so.

01:06:49.000 I mean, that's how it leaks out in their panties, you know?

01:06:53.000 What a weird design, huh? 1.00

01:06:55.000 What a fucking crazy design. 1.00

01:06:57.000 Like, for, you know, one time every month, your shit just sort of falls apart. 1.00

01:07:02.000 It doesn't happen. 0.99

01:07:03.000 How weird, though. 0.99

01:07:04.000 What if our dick's blood? 1.00

01:07:06.000 Like, just pee blood all the time. 1.00

01:07:08.000 It's just strange.

01:07:09.000 It's just a strange thing.

01:07:11.000 I think that happens when you get 90. Yeah, it just sheds.

01:07:13.000 The inside of your dick sheds. 1.00

01:07:15.000 Honey, would you blow me? 1.00

01:07:17.000 But I'm on my period.

01:07:18.000 Some girls would like it. 1.00

01:07:21.000 They want the extra protein of the blood. 0.98

01:07:23.000 Goth chicks, they'd want to blow you when you were on your period. 1.00

01:07:26.000 It'd be really hot. 0.99

01:07:29.000 Man.

01:07:32.000 Yeah, we're lucky in a lot of ways, man.

01:07:33.000 We're lucky we don't give birth. 1.00

01:07:35.000 I've always said that if men had their dicks explode, like a girl's pussy has to go through damage, or if you had to get a cesarean to have a kid, like, how many kids would there be? 1.00

01:07:44.000 If dudes got pregnant, we had to have a cesarean every time we gave birth. 1.00

01:07:49.000 If you're like, oh, Connie, I'm out of work. 0.97

01:07:51.000 I got no fucking time to have a cesarean. 0.92

01:07:54.000 Can't take me out of work for a month. 1.00

01:07:56.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 1.00

01:07:57.000 Or if our dicks exploded. 1.00

01:07:59.000 Can you imagine the dudes that would want to carry a baby? 1.00

01:08:03.000 What if that was the two options? 1.00

01:08:04.000 You could either go the old school way where your dick explodes and never use it again. 1.00

01:08:08.000 Would that almost be gay, right? 1.00

01:08:11.000 Well, maybe that would be the way that they would prevent men from having more than one child. 1.00

01:08:15.000 The child would come out of your dick. 1.00

01:08:18.000 You have sex with a woman, and you feel like you're impregnating her. 1.00

01:08:23.000 You shoot a load out, but it actually goes back inside of you from the woman. 1.00

01:08:28.000 Something. 1.00

01:08:29.000 She drops a fucking hatch in there. 1.00

01:08:31.000 You get the egg from the woman. 1.00

01:08:32.000 It plants inside your body.

01:08:33.000 Maybe that's it.

01:08:34.000 There you go. 1.00

01:08:34.000 And so when the baby comes out, it comes out through your dick. 1.00

01:08:37.000 And boom! 1.00

01:08:37.000 That's it. 1.00

01:08:38.000 One kid.

01:08:38.000 That's all you get.

01:08:39.000 Raise it right.

01:08:41.000 Wow.

01:08:42.000 That's a crazy idea.

01:08:44.000 That actually is probably a good idea.

01:08:45.000 That might be the best way to save the world. 0.99

01:08:47.000 We've got to re-engineer people so that babies come out of men and their dicks explode. 1.00

01:08:53.000 And that'll put everything in perspective. 0.99

01:08:55.000 There'll only be a thousand people on Earth, though.

01:08:58.000 Probably.

01:08:58.000 Not even a thousand.

01:09:00.000 Right?

01:09:00.000 Be like a hundred.

01:09:02.000 A hundred little fishing villages scattered throughout the world with dudes with just blown out dicks. 1.00

01:09:08.000 Or you shit on a baby. 1.00

01:09:09.000 That would be awesome. 1.00

01:09:10.000 They'd figure out a way to plant a baby inside your large intestine. 1.00

01:09:15.000 You'd be so selfish. 1.00

01:09:16.000 You'd be like, you really want to shit on your baby? 1.00

01:09:18.000 Oh, that's ridiculous. 1.00

01:09:19.000 That doesn't make sense. 0.99

01:09:21.000 You just ruined the what if.

01:09:23.000 You might as well go there. 1.00

01:09:25.000 You just brought it so ridiculous that you made a shit baby. 1.00

01:09:27.000 Hey, that's realistic, man. 1.00

01:09:29.000 Come on. 0.99

01:09:30.000 Well, didn't you used to have a sketch that you wrote called Shit Baby? 0.99

01:09:32.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:09:36.000 My friend Amir had a really funny joke about, and my friend, he was like real like deadpan. 0.99

01:09:41.000 He's like, yeah, my friend got his girlfriend pregnant from anal sex. 1.00

01:09:49.000 The baby looked like shit. 1.00

01:09:52.000 Somebody just said that exact same joke the other day. 1.00

01:09:54.000 That was the premise of Shit Baby. 0.94

01:09:57.000 It's not like the most brilliant original thought. 0.74

01:10:00.000 It was just the way Amir did it, it was very funny.

01:10:03.000 So funny.

01:10:04.000 James Lemur was his name in Boston.

01:10:06.000 He had a different name.

01:10:07.000 His real name is Amir.

01:10:10.000 A very Jewish name, but he changed it to James Leamer. 0.98

01:10:13.000 Shit Baby was about... 1.00

01:10:15.000 The opening scene is some girls getting plowed in the ass really hard. 1.00

01:10:19.000 Dude nuts. 1.00

01:10:20.000 Pulls out, jumps in the shower.

01:10:22.000 She's laying there face down, huffing and puffing. 0.97

01:10:24.000 The camera zooms in on the butt. 1.00

01:10:26.000 And you see cum dripping out of the butthole into the pussy, right? 1.00

01:10:30.000 Dun, dun, dun. 1.00

01:10:33.000 So then she gets pregnant. 0.82

01:10:36.000 When she has the baby, woven into the baby's DNA is that smell of feces.

01:10:45.000 That's the problem with the baby. 1.00

01:10:46.000 The baby just stinks like shit. 1.00

01:10:48.000 There's flies around the baby at all times. 1.00

01:10:50.000 This chick brings up this kid. 1.00

01:10:52.000 This is a documentary, right? 1.00

01:10:53.000 This chick brings up this kid that smells like shit. 1.00

01:10:57.000 I mean, everywhere she goes, she's spraying everywhere. 1.00

01:11:00.000 I think the question would be real.

01:11:03.000 Smell is a weird thing, man. 0.99

01:11:04.000 It's really weird that we all accept that there's some invisible shit that we can take in with a hole in our face. 0.95

01:11:10.000 You know, it's kind of weird. 1.00

01:11:12.000 You know, the invisible shit that's awesome, like when you walk into a good burrito place and you smell the Mexican food cooking, like, oh, shit! 1.00

01:11:20.000 Fogo? 1.00

01:11:21.000 Yeah, Fogo, perfect example.

01:11:23.000 You smell that meat as it's coming by.

01:11:25.000 It's weird, man.

01:11:26.000 It's like a weird, invisible thing.

01:11:29.000 But your nose can pick it up.

01:11:31.000 You can even smell where things, like if you pick up your underwear and go to the crotch...

01:11:35.000 You can smell that you've worn it.

01:11:37.000 You can smell your body.

01:11:39.000 That's crazy. 1.00

01:11:40.000 Some invisible identity shit that you leave behind. 1.00

01:11:44.000 Nothing's worse than human shit, for sure. 1.00

01:11:46.000 That, that, bad pussy and feet. 1.00

01:11:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:11:50.000 Bad feet, that's it. 1.00

01:11:52.000 Yeah.

01:11:53.000 Yeah, that's right.

01:11:54.000 A corpse.

01:11:55.000 Anything that's trying to keep you away from it.

01:11:57.000 It's interesting how that works.

01:11:59.000 Your brain is really fine-tuned to get away from anything that's really bad for you.

01:12:05.000 And so it sounds an alarm when you're in the presence of a decaying corpse.

01:12:09.000 All those chemicals send an alarm through your system and you just...

01:12:13.000 Nobody likes it.

01:12:15.000 The thought of eating that corpse is impossible.

01:12:18.000 There's a small percentage of people that do like it.

01:12:21.000 Yeah.

01:12:21.000 Oh, well, some people like, you know, all sorts of weird things.

01:12:24.000 The smell of a dead, rotting body.

01:12:26.000 Can you imagine that? 0.97

01:12:27.000 If you knew somebody that actually liked that and they confessed that to you, like, say, I don't, I've never told anybody before, but I fucking love rotting flesh. 0.61

01:12:35.000 I think that that could be possible, like, for anything. 0.74

01:12:39.000 I mean, I think there's people that are nutty enough to get in love with anything.

01:12:42.000 They can get... 0.87

01:12:43.000 They're in love with cutting their own finger. 0.93

01:12:45.000 What's the latest with the bath salts?

01:12:47.000 Give me the latest.

01:12:48.000 I know you know the latest.

01:12:49.000 Well, what bath salts are, and this is what it's been explained to me, is that you can take a drug that's an illegal drug, and all you have to do is change certain molecules in that drug, and then you release it, like you add like a salt to it, and you release it as bath salts, and you say not for human consumption.

01:13:08.000 But people know what it actually is, and you can go and buy it, and you're essentially buying, like, sort of a designer drug.

01:13:18.000 You're buying something that hasn't been classified, and they're really intense.

01:13:23.000 And they have really bad profiles.

01:13:26.000 Like, if you look at, like, there's arrowid.org that shows a lot of trip reports.

01:13:34.000 Whatever the compound that they're calling, there's several different types, I think.

01:13:39.000 I might be wrong about that.

01:13:41.000 I don't think bath salts is necessarily just one thing.

01:13:43.000 I think there's been more than one.

01:13:46.000 But someone, please, on Twitter, correct me if I'm wrong.

01:13:48.000 So I think it's a problem of they can do that with several different drugs.

01:13:52.000 I think they can do that with things that are illegal.

01:13:55.000 Just change.

01:13:55.000 If meth is illegal, change meth.

01:13:57.000 If ecstasy is illegal, change it a little bit here.

01:14:00.000 Add a little bit here.

01:14:02.000 And they're doing it without...

01:14:04.000 Any real research as to what kind of an effect these hardcore drugs are going to have in this sort of hybrid form?

01:14:11.000 You know, this is just letting people take this stuff. 0.88

01:14:14.000 You know, and people, this, you know, I don't know how many people are taking it and losing their fucking mind, but a few people seem to me. 0.97

01:14:20.000 It seems to be a good one. 0.99

01:14:22.000 It seems to be one that's got quite a fucking kick. 0.99

01:14:25.000 MC Chris has a new song about taking bath salts and it's awesome. 0.99

01:14:29.000 Did he do it?

01:14:30.000 Did he actually take bath salts?

01:14:31.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:14:32.000 But it's just really addicting.

01:14:34.000 It's one of the songs, once you hear it, you're just singing it all the time.

01:14:37.000 It's like about, you know, doing bath salts and wanting to eat your face off.

01:14:40.000 It's great.

01:14:41.000 Who does this?

01:14:42.000 MC Chris?

01:14:43.000 Is he funny?

01:14:45.000 Is he a funny rapper?

01:14:46.000 But they said that dude wasn't on Bass Halls.

01:14:48.000 The guy that bit the guy's face off?

01:14:50.000 They're saying now that he was on marijuana.

01:14:51.000 That's hilarious.

01:14:53.000 That's a reefer madness propaganda.

01:14:55.000 Do you want to reveal it?

01:14:58.000 No.

01:14:59.000 Dude, that's way worse than reefer madness propaganda.

01:15:01.000 They never said you'll eat someone's face, right?

01:15:04.000 That's worse.

01:15:05.000 It's hilarious. 0.80

01:15:05.000 Back in the 30s, they were saying that if you smoked weed, you'd go crazy and shoot people. 0.80

01:15:09.000 Well, they didn't really have the capacity to test for this hidden metabolite.

01:15:14.000 They tested for things that were known.

01:15:16.000 And that's what the argument is against it.

01:15:20.000 I don't know if that's correct either, by the way.

01:15:22.000 Basalt's illegal in Vegas, so if you want to maybe do it this weekend, guys.

01:15:27.000 Is it legal in Vegas?

01:15:28.000 Yeah.

01:15:29.000 Jesus Christ.

01:15:30.000 Wow, I hope they take care of that. 0.80

01:15:32.000 I don't know what that is.

01:15:33.000 That's a scary thing to me, though.

01:15:35.000 And the fact that these people are breaking down medical marijuana dispensaries while they're selling basalts, while other people, rather, are selling basalts.

01:15:42.000 What's so funny?

01:15:43.000 Brian just sent a picture.

01:15:46.000 Somebody on the message board.

01:15:49.000 Wow, that was quick. 1.00

01:15:50.000 Me throwing up on some chick's pussy. 1.00

01:15:56.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

01:15:57.000 What's the dude's name?

01:15:58.000 Who's that?

01:15:59.000 Slain Injectillo. 1.00

01:16:02.000 Slain Injectillo. 1.00

01:16:03.000 That's hilarious, that pic.

01:16:04.000 I'm going to tweet this pic real quick.

01:16:07.000 Wow, that's a hard word.

01:16:09.000 Slain Injectillo. 1.00

01:16:11.000 That's a great pic.

01:16:12.000 That's hilarious.

01:16:13.000 That's the internet for you, folks. 1.00

01:16:15.000 The internet will always be on shit like that. 0.99

01:16:19.000 That's awesome. 0.99

01:16:20.000 I'm about to tweet the picture so you know what we're talking about.

01:16:23.000 I'll retweet it.

01:16:24.000 Did you see this girl with her nice muffler? 0.98

01:16:28.000 It's like a snake.

01:16:28.000 Brian, we're doing a podcast right now.

01:16:30.000 You're looking at porn.

01:16:32.000 You're getting distracted. 0.98

01:16:33.000 If I was your boss.

01:16:35.000 Oh, wait. 0.99

01:16:35.000 It's the message porn. 0.99

01:16:37.000 It's the corporate website, Joe.

01:16:40.000 It's headquarters.

01:16:44.000 Did you see Ted yet?

01:16:45.000 Anyone?

01:16:45.000 No, I have not seen Ted yet.

01:16:46.000 I heard it's awesome.

01:16:47.000 I heard it's one of the funniest movies of all time.

01:16:49.000 Really?

01:16:49.000 I heard it's hilarious.

01:16:50.000 I don't love it.

01:16:51.000 You didn't love it?

01:16:52.000 I never fell in love with it, but it was so great the whole time that I like it a lot.

01:16:57.000 Meaning there's nothing wrong with it.

01:16:58.000 It's a great movie.

01:17:00.000 I recommend it to everybody.

01:17:01.000 But I never did that extra where...

01:17:03.000 Oh my god, I want to buy a Ted teddy bear now.

01:17:05.000 And like, you know, like freak out.

01:17:07.000 Buy Ted shirts and stuff.

01:17:08.000 You don't want a teddy bear?

01:17:09.000 It never got to that level.

01:17:12.000 It was pretty good though.

01:17:13.000 You turning into a six year old?

01:17:14.000 It was pretty good. 1.00

01:17:15.000 That's a fucking crazy level. 0.99

01:17:17.000 Like, I bet the sequel will be a million times better. 1.00

01:17:20.000 What are you talking about?

01:17:21.000 Why would you say that? 1.00

01:17:22.000 You're just spouting off crazy shit today. 0.99

01:17:24.000 No, it's four and a half stars. 1.00

01:17:27.000 Oh, out of five. 0.97

01:17:28.000 Brian, that's pretty fucking good. 0.97

01:17:30.000 That sounds like an awesome movie. 0.94

01:17:31.000 But not five. 1.00

01:17:32.000 Seth MacFarlane, I probably kept him off the podcast right there, you fuck. 1.00

01:17:36.000 You probably think about it. 1.00

01:17:37.000 There's a couple parts. 1.00

01:17:38.000 There's this asshole. 1.00

01:17:39.000 There's a couple parts. 1.00

01:17:40.000 There's this red band asshole. 0.99

01:17:42.000 Like, they remade a remake. 1.00

01:17:44.000 Like, it was weird.

01:17:45.000 Oh.

01:17:46.000 I don't know what it's about.

01:17:47.000 I'm going to check it out.

01:17:48.000 Don't say anything. 1.00

01:17:49.000 Don't say a word, you fuck. 1.00

01:17:51.000 I'm going to add a director's cut. 1.00

01:17:52.000 I think it would be better.

01:17:53.000 Maybe it is a director's cut. 0.99

01:17:54.000 What the fuck do you know? 0.99

01:17:56.000 Maybe, yeah. 1.00

01:17:57.000 Yeah, you don't know.

01:17:57.000 Yeah, there probably is.

01:18:00.000 There's mushrooms in it.

01:18:03.000 Is he on cocaine today?

01:18:04.000 Something's going on, right?

01:18:05.000 I don't know, man.

01:18:06.000 Lack of sleep.

01:18:07.000 It's animated.

01:18:08.000 Yeah.

01:18:08.000 Lack of sleep.

01:18:09.000 Lack of sleep.

01:18:09.000 Been electrocuted.

01:18:10.000 I've been...

01:18:11.000 When was the last time I went to Olive Garden?

01:18:14.000 Last Sunday.

01:18:15.000 Be honest.

01:18:16.000 Seriously, last Sunday.

01:18:17.000 Be honest.

01:18:18.000 Last Sunday.

01:18:19.000 That's what you want to stick to the story?

01:18:21.000 And I went with somebody that's never been there before, and it was their first time, and they had prejudged it.

01:18:26.000 I don't really want to talk about the Olive Garden, you guys. 0.98

01:18:28.000 Are you fucking kidding me here? 0.99

01:18:29.000 What the fuck is wrong? 1.00

01:18:31.000 We have a couple hours to do this. 1.00

01:18:32.000 You're going to let this guy sit and talk about breadsticks?

01:18:35.000 How about them Dodgers?

01:18:36.000 Don't make me bring in Joey Diaz. 1.00

01:18:37.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:18:39.000 Why are you fucking talking to him with Joe Rogers? 1.00

01:18:41.000 Did you see the new Joey Karate? 0.99

01:18:42.000 Can I say one thing about the Olive Garden?

01:18:43.000 It's kind of weird.

01:18:44.000 No.

01:18:44.000 They're combining Red Lobster and Olive Garden in Test Market City so you can actually choose between both menus.

01:18:49.000 Isn't that cool?

01:18:50.000 Because they're going bankrupt.

01:18:51.000 They're trying this thing.

01:18:53.000 You haven't seen the new Joey Karate?

01:18:54.000 No, I haven't seen it.

01:18:55.000 That's great, dude.

01:18:56.000 Is it? 0.99

01:18:56.000 He kills it. 0.99

01:18:57.000 Is he talking about the upcoming fights? 1.00

01:18:59.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:19:00.000 Pull it up. 1.00

01:19:00.000 All the big ones. 1.00

01:19:01.000 Put it on.

01:19:01.000 How do you find it?

01:19:02.000 It's 10th Planet Kush episode 25. 10th Planet Kush episode 25. This weekend's going to be insane.

01:19:11.000 He breaks it off.

01:19:13.000 That rematch is the biggest rematch of all time.

01:19:16.000 In my opinion, as far as fights that I want to see, this is, in my opinion, the biggest rematch of all time.

01:19:21.000 This isn't the greatest fight of all time.

01:19:23.000 Are you kidding?

01:19:24.000 Greatest fights are rematches, generally, because there was something crazy.

01:19:29.000 What's that?

01:19:29.000 39, you said?

01:19:30.000 No, 10th Planet Kush, 25. 25. Joey crushes it.

01:19:36.000 Yeah, this is the biggest rematch ever, right?

01:19:39.000 Yeah, here it is. 1.00

01:19:41.000 If you ain't following at Mad Flavor, go fuck yourself. 1.00

01:19:45.000 This is under Twister Eddie on YouTube, by the way. 1.00

01:19:47.000 That's where I found it.

01:19:50.000 Got volume?

01:19:51.000 It's gonna start right.

01:19:52.000 There it is.

01:19:53.000 It's good.

01:19:53.000 Boom!

01:19:54.000 Greetings, cocksuckers! 1.00

01:19:55.000 We're here, Burbank Headquarters. 0.99

01:19:57.000 It's 192 fucking degrees out there, but I'm giving you the preview for UFC 148. I'm giving you the parlay of the year. 0.93

01:20:05.000 Everybody's complaining.

01:20:06.000 Who's gonna win?

01:20:08.000 Tito, Anderson, Chao. 1.00

01:20:09.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:20:10.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:20:11.000 We're just trying to get paid, bitches, with a fucking parlay. 1.00

01:20:13.000 First up, Chad Mendez. 1.00

01:20:15.000 Who's he fighting, guys? 0.99

01:20:18.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:20:20.000 Cody McKenzie, whatever his fucker. 1.00

01:20:22.000 Cody McKenzie against my man Chad Mendes, coming off a fucking knee in Brazil. 1.00

01:20:27.000 Let me tell you something. 1.00

01:20:27.000 If you get a knee in Connecticut and a knee in Brazil, two different fucking stories. 1.00

01:20:32.000 He's coming back. 1.00

01:20:33.000 He's going to beat up on McKenzie. 0.74

01:20:35.000 That's one lock.

01:20:36.000 My second lock is Damian Maia against Yum Yum Kim.

01:20:39.000 Yum Yum Kim. 0.98

01:20:40.000 Damien's dropping down to fucking 170. He's a jiu-jitsu maniac. 1.00

01:20:44.000 But all of a sudden he wants to beat Muhammad Ali.

01:20:46.000 He's gonna go up against Young Yum Kim.

01:20:48.000 A black belt in judo. 1.00

01:20:49.000 Flipping motherfuckers like Carol Parisian before the fucking painkillers. 1.00

01:20:53.000 Amazing! 1.00

01:20:54.000 You understand me? 0.97

01:20:55.000 He's gonna get fucking Damien Maier at 170 and he's done. 0.98

01:21:00.000 Done! 0.98

01:21:00.000 So that's my parlay. 0.98

01:21:01.000 It's Young Yum Kim against Chad Mendes. 0.95

01:21:03.000 You wanna make money or you wanna fucking play games with the other buddies? 0.60

01:21:07.000 Now, you're saying, Joey, what about Tito against Forrest Griffin? 0.99

01:21:11.000 Ten fucking psychics on the strip can't pick that one. 1.00

01:21:13.000 You understand me? 1.00

01:21:14.000 All I know is I'm watching some interview show with Tito.

01:21:17.000 I love him to death.

01:21:18.000 He's in the Hall of Fame.

01:21:19.000 And they're like, Tito, why are you quitting? 0.98

01:21:21.000 Why the fuck is he quitting? 0.98

01:21:23.000 He's one, one, and six. 0.99

01:21:24.000 You understand me? 1.00

01:21:24.000 It's time to go, cocksucker. 1.00

01:21:26.000 That's all I can tell you. 1.00

01:21:27.000 I love you to death.

01:21:28.000 Congratulations, you and Forrest Whitaker. 1.00

01:21:31.000 I love the fucking fight, but I wouldn't bet you motherfuckers at all. 1.00

01:21:34.000 Another fight on the card is Comely, the flying fucking master of kicks on Cinemax versus the comeback, the leg. 1.00

01:21:41.000 What's his name? 0.99

01:21:43.000 Patrick fucking Cote fighting. 0.99

01:21:45.000 I'll come back in the UFC, slip that one in. 1.00

01:21:48.000 So you got Kung Lee against fucking Damian. 0.97

01:21:50.000 Who's he fighting? 1.00

01:21:52.000 Oh, he's fighting Patrick Cote, the one fucking legged man from Canada. 0.99

01:21:56.000 And I'm going with Patrick Cote. 0.99

01:21:58.000 That's a squeezer.

01:21:59.000 Now you're going, Joey, what about Chael?

01:22:01.000 What about Anderson? 0.98

01:22:02.000 I'm going to give it to you fucking straight and damn here, right? 1.00

01:22:04.000 Chael Sonnen is a fucking champion. 0.99

01:22:06.000 He took it to Anderson Silva, whatever. 1.00

01:22:09.000 Anderson Silva's a fucking savage, alright? 1.00

01:22:11.000 He worked at McDonald's. 1.00

01:22:12.000 He was making Big Macs fucking 15 years ago. 0.98

01:22:14.000 He's angry. 0.99

01:22:15.000 He went down to Brazil.

01:22:16.000 He thought about it. 1.00

01:22:17.000 He hugged his 19 fucking kids. 1.00

01:22:19.000 He's got a bus full of kids, Anderson. 1.00

01:22:21.000 And he's back.

01:22:22.000 He's going to Las Vegas this weekend.

01:22:23.000 Let me tell you something.

01:22:24.000 Jail, I love you to death, but it's all over the shop.

01:22:26.000 And I don't care what the odds are. 0.99

01:22:28.000 I don't care what fucking Kenny Florian says or John Anik. 1.00

01:22:32.000 I don't give a fuck! 1.00

01:22:33.000 This is going to be ugly. 1.00

01:22:34.000 I'm going with my man Anderson Silva to fucking take it to jail. 0.99

01:22:38.000 The last time he fought bad, and he got him in the fifth fucking round, he got beat up. 0.99

01:22:42.000 Can you imagine a healthy fucking Anderson Silva? 1.00

01:22:44.000 Take your little fucking pennies. 1.00

01:22:46.000 Forget going to the strip club. 1.00

01:22:47.000 Put it on Anderson. 1.00

01:22:48.000 You got the fucking parlay, Mendez, and who else? 1.00

01:22:52.000 What the fuck, people? 1.00

01:22:53.000 Are you all sleeping here, cocksuckers? 1.00

01:22:55.000 Yum Yum Kim against Cody McKenzie. 1.00

01:22:58.000 What's the fucking Paulette? 0.99

01:22:59.000 Oh! 1.00

01:23:00.000 Yum Yum Kim against my man fucking Chad Mendes. 0.99

01:23:02.000 That's the Paulette of the year. 0.99

01:23:04.000 Tenth planet.

01:23:04.000 Take it from there.

01:23:05.000 Yum Yum Kim is not fighting Chad Mendes.

01:23:08.000 Cody McKenzie's fighting Chad Mendes. 0.99

01:23:09.000 You fucked it all up. 1.00

01:23:10.000 Kush, motherfuckers. 1.00

01:23:11.000 Right there. 1.00

01:23:12.000 Oh my god, he's so high.

01:23:15.000 Well, our apologies to the great Dong Hyung Kim for Joey Diaz messing up his word.

01:23:22.000 Calling him Yum Yum Kim.

01:23:24.000 That's kind of rude.

01:23:26.000 How dare he?

01:23:26.000 I thought it was hilarious.

01:23:28.000 If I was him, I'd be pissed off.

01:23:29.000 I thought it was hilarious.

01:23:29.000 People are calling him Yum Yum Kim now all over the internet.

01:23:31.000 What do you think about Damien Maia dropping down to 170?

01:23:37.000 He's going to be a big 170. If he can do it, right?

01:23:40.000 If he can do it and be healthy.

01:23:41.000 For folks who don't know, you don't follow MMA, Damian Mai is one of the best jiu-jitsu guys to ever enter into MMA. He's a multiple-time world champion, just a really killer technical jiu-jitsu guy, and he entered into MMA, and for a while, he was strangling a lot of people, including Chael Sonnen.

01:23:58.000 He got Chael Sonnen a mounted triangle. 0.99

01:24:01.000 Remember that shit? 1.00

01:24:01.000 Pulled him on. 1.00

01:24:02.000 He took him down.

01:24:06.000 Remember that? 1.00

01:24:06.000 What the fuck did he use? 1.00

01:24:08.000 Was it a lateral drop? 1.00

01:24:09.000 I think it was a lateral drop.

01:24:10.000 I think he caught Chael off guard because Chael did not think he was going to take him down.

01:24:15.000 Didn't think he was going to try that move.

01:24:16.000 Yeah.

01:24:17.000 He like lateral dropped him and then mounted triangle to him. 0.92

01:24:20.000 It was so sweet, man.

01:24:21.000 It was like really the quickest I've ever seen Chael get submitted. 0.97

01:24:26.000 It was like when he got taken down, it was like bang, whoop, oh shit, he's caught, tapped. 0.93

01:24:32.000 It was just His jujitsu, Damien Maia, when he's on, when he catches you, is so picture perfect, man. 0.99

01:24:39.000 He's such a beast.

01:24:40.000 And if he's able to get a hold of guys at 170, he'll be even better.

01:24:43.000 But it's about whether or not this is healthy.

01:24:46.000 And whether or not he could still take him down at 170. There's monsters like...

01:24:50.000 Jake Shields.

01:24:51.000 There's guys that he's not going to be able to take down. 1.00

01:24:53.000 I think his jujitsu, you make one mistake with Damien Maia, you're fucked. 1.00

01:24:57.000 He's a finisher. 1.00

01:24:58.000 He knows how to close the deal.

01:24:59.000 He catches you in a triangle.

01:25:01.000 It's over, son.

01:25:01.000 You're not escaping.

01:25:02.000 He's...

01:25:03.000 Totally professional when it comes to submissions.

01:25:05.000 I just liked it, liked it better when he had more faith in his half guard, because in, you know, early UFC days, he wouldn't hesitate to pull guard.

01:25:15.000 He pulled guard, he actually pulled half guard, and there's a big difference between jumping guard, pulling guard, and pulling half guard.

01:25:21.000 He pulled half guard, he had a lot of faith in his half guard in the early, his early UFC fights, but He likes to stand more now, and he has totally made a conscious decision not to pull guard, not to have that as an option.

01:25:34.000 And I think he should reconsider that option and look at what Paul Sass is doing.

01:25:39.000 He's just...

01:25:40.000 When Paul Sass fights, he's completely taking the dudes wrestling and striking out of the mix.

01:25:45.000 Because if Paul Sass is fighting a combo fighter who's a world champion kickboxer, killing K1, and he's an Olympian wrestler, To him, he's gonna pull guard anyway, so he takes those two skill sets out of the picture.

01:26:03.000 I'm not saying that you should just go out there and pull guard like Paul Sass.

01:26:05.000 But if you have a guard like Paul Sass, you should pull guard.

01:26:07.000 Yeah, and Damian Maia does have a guard like Paul Sass.

01:26:09.000 He does.

01:26:10.000 He has a very dangerous guard.

01:26:11.000 Damian Maia's guard is amazing.

01:26:13.000 He just is chosen not to have that as an option anymore, and I think it, I always call it the third option, and it should be an option in your game.

01:26:23.000 What do you think keeps him from it?

01:26:24.000 Do you think getting hit on the ground?

01:26:27.000 I think, well, a lot of people think that they say that they don't work on their guard techniques or their half guard.

01:26:35.000 They don't refine it because in MMA, when you're on your back, you're losing.

01:26:41.000 That's like the thing to say about that.

01:26:44.000 And professional fighters, a lot of them think that this way, that if you're on your back, you're losing.

01:26:50.000 Yes, but you're also losing if you're on your feet getting tattooed with punches.

01:26:55.000 You're also losing there.

01:26:56.000 So what's the difference if you're losing on your feet and losing on the ground?

01:27:00.000 At least if you have a really good half guard game...

01:27:04.000 You have a really good full guard game.

01:27:06.000 You have a really dangerous rubber guard.

01:27:07.000 If you got a lot of heat off your back, there is a way for you to win off your back.

01:27:12.000 Instead of, oh, I'm on my back, I'm losing, there's no hope.

01:27:15.000 If Aoki's on his back, there is hope for him.

01:27:19.000 Well, you remember when Jason Day fought Alan Belcher and just held him in rubber guard and elbowed him?

01:27:24.000 Yeah, you could just do that.

01:27:25.000 You could just hold a dude in mission control and throw elbows.

01:27:28.000 It's been proven that it's very effective.

01:27:31.000 It's out there.

01:27:32.000 The evidence is there, but just, you know...

01:27:34.000 Well, you just got to get wicked good at it.

01:27:35.000 I mean, a guy who's going to pull it off is a guy like Vinny.

01:27:38.000 Vinny Magalhães, he's going to be able to pull it off.

01:27:41.000 If he could get the fight to the ground, because Vinny is not the greatest wrestler on the planet, and he's not the greatest striker on the planet.

01:27:47.000 He is improving both vastly.

01:27:49.000 He's working on it.

01:27:50.000 And he has accepted.

01:27:52.000 I talked to him personally.

01:27:53.000 He has accepted that he will pull guard if he can't take the guy down.

01:27:58.000 Because there's only three things you can do in a fight.

01:28:00.000 And I've said this many times.

01:28:01.000 There's only three things.

01:28:02.000 You could stand with a guy, you could try to take a guy down, or you can pull guard.

01:28:07.000 That's it.

01:28:07.000 There's no other way to fight.

01:28:09.000 You fight on your feet, you fight, you try to take him down, or you pull guard.

01:28:13.000 Most people only have two options.

01:28:15.000 If they can't take the guy down, they better be able to beat him standing or they lost.

01:28:20.000 Just like that.

01:28:21.000 I wish that the cutting weight was not in the equation.

01:28:25.000 This bothers me.

01:28:26.000 But what I'm talking about has nothing to do with weight.

01:28:29.000 What I'm talking about is having the options.

01:28:31.000 Having strategies.

01:28:32.000 Three ways to win.

01:28:33.000 Most fighters only have two ways.

01:28:34.000 I think the fighter of the future is going to have three ways to win. 0.97

01:28:38.000 He's going to be a serious striker and can fucking knock you out. 0.98

01:28:42.000 But if shit ain't going right standing, he can take you down because he has Olympic... 0.99

01:28:46.000 John Jones. 0.99

01:28:47.000 Yeah, wrestling.

01:28:47.000 Or if he can't take you down...

01:28:50.000 Or if you can't take your opponent down and he's beating you standing, if you have a wicked guard, you have the option to pull guard like Paul Sassaton.

01:28:57.000 He wins all his fights by pulling guard.

01:28:59.000 It's his first option.

01:29:00.000 I don't agree that it should be your first option all the time.

01:29:03.000 I think...

01:29:05.000 I would want my fighters to get as good as possible with their striking and their wrestling. 0.98

01:29:09.000 If you could take a guy down, don't fucking pull a guard. 1.00

01:29:11.000 Take his ass down. 1.00

01:29:12.000 If you could beat him standing, don't take him down. 1.00

01:29:15.000 Keep standing with him.

01:29:16.000 You own this guy.

01:29:17.000 But if my fighter is getting on standing and he can't take the guy down, you have to pull guard.

01:29:23.000 That's the only thing you can do.

01:29:24.000 And that's not an easy thing to pull off.

01:29:27.000 It's not easy.

01:29:28.000 You just don't sit...

01:29:28.000 I'm not talking about...

01:29:29.000 Especially with a guy like Paul Sasse's opponents.

01:29:31.000 They know what he's looking to do.

01:29:33.000 Pulling guard has become very complex.

01:29:35.000 You've got to understand the difference between jumping guard.

01:29:37.000 Jumping guard is when you're against the fence like Stefan Struve did.

01:29:40.000 He had his back against the fence.

01:29:42.000 So it was really easy.

01:29:45.000 Because he was being pinned on the fence, really easy to just jump up and go koala on him.

01:29:48.000 He jumped guard, pulled him down, and went right to an arm bar.

01:29:51.000 It works.

01:29:52.000 There's an option.

01:29:53.000 There's a way out.

01:29:55.000 Anytime you're on your back in a fight, all fighters out there, anytime you've been on your back and had a guy in full guard, you actually had an opportunity to beat that guy right there.

01:30:08.000 Don't look at that.

01:30:08.000 If you have a wicked Paul Sass type guard.

01:30:11.000 Vinny Magalaya's guard.

01:30:13.000 Shinya Yoki's guard.

01:30:14.000 There's only a few people who've really taken the time to master fighting off your back because most fighters coming in, they listen to their instructors and the instructors say, oh, if you're on your back, you're losing. 0.91

01:30:25.000 Well, especially if you get on your back with a fucking big wrestler that you can't hold on to, like a Jake Ellenberger type character. 0.85

01:30:31.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:30:31.000 He's going to ground and pound your fucking face off. 1.00

01:30:33.000 That's a scary spot to be. 1.00

01:30:35.000 Definitely.

01:30:36.000 Trapped under a wrestler.

01:30:37.000 It's not that scary if you're Vinny Magalhães.

01:30:40.000 He wants you to be on top and start being aggressive and start punching.

01:30:43.000 Or Fabricio Verdun.

01:30:45.000 Fabricio Verdun, like Ryan Parsons was talking about when they trained ground and pound Fabricio.

01:30:49.000 It's like none of this stuff works on him.

01:30:50.000 His guard is so good.

01:30:51.000 He's always like feet on your hips and feet on your shoulders.

01:30:54.000 He's always touching you and moving you.

01:30:56.000 The one-dimensional fighter, we already know they're gone.

01:30:59.000 They're gone.

01:31:00.000 They're all retired already.

01:31:01.000 One-dimensional.

01:31:01.000 And then you've got like two-dimensional fighters.

01:31:03.000 There's guys that can have pretty good stand-up and they're good wrestlers.

01:31:06.000 Jiu-jitsu ain't that good.

01:31:07.000 Those guys aren't going to last either.

01:31:09.000 You have to be really good at all aspects of the game.

01:31:12.000 Striking, wrestling, top game jiu-jitsu, and bottom game jiu-jitsu.

01:31:17.000 You have to be good at all those levels, I think, in the future.

01:31:21.000 Right now, it's, you know...

01:31:24.000 It's not a popular view to, in the MMA world, to really focus and polish up your bottom game.

01:31:34.000 That's not a thing you want to do.

01:31:35.000 That's like admitting you already lost.

01:31:37.000 That's like admitting that your wrestling is not going to be good enough. 0.99

01:31:40.000 Admitting that you're not a fucking fierce striker. 0.97

01:31:42.000 Admitting that you're afraid to stand and strike with someone. 0.97

01:31:46.000 That's what a lot of guys want to go out there.

01:31:48.000 There's jujitsu guys.

01:31:49.000 There's a bunch of them.

01:31:50.000 I don't want to name names, but a lot of guys go out there.

01:31:52.000 They're jujitsu world champions, and they want to stand and trade.

01:31:55.000 They want to be kickboxers now.

01:31:58.000 It's kind of weird, isn't it?

01:31:59.000 Yeah, there's a lot of them.

01:32:02.000 I think this is my experience.

01:32:05.000 I think that...

01:32:06.000 To get over that most jujitsu fighters a lot of them generally have a fear of Doing stand-up because they're not that good at it.

01:32:14.000 It's not their sport now They're thrust into a kickboxing sport where they're not that good. 0.98

01:32:18.000 They spent their whole life on the ground So there is an element of fear because you can get knocked the fuck out so to conquer that fear and And to fucking stand with professional strikers and get some fucking licks in and take their best shots, I can see that empowering them and making them feel like a fierce warrior where they're like, fuck pulling guard. 0.98

01:32:38.000 This is awesome. 0.99

01:32:39.000 I'm actually standing with professional strikers taking their shit and knocking dudes out every now and then. 1.00

01:32:45.000 Fuck yeah, I'm standing. 1.00

01:32:46.000 I can see them really liking that rush, that feeling, I conquered fear. 1.00

01:32:51.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:32:52.000 It feels good, like they don't give a fuck about getting hit. 0.98

01:32:54.000 I think it makes them feel good. 0.97

01:32:56.000 It's not the best strategy to win a fight, but for their own personal empowerment, and I'm sure it's glorious.

01:33:03.000 I can see that. 0.95

01:33:04.000 You know, when George Jurgel goes out there, he's a black belt in Jiu Jitsu, he fucking loves the trade. 1.00

01:33:10.000 He loves that shit. 1.00

01:33:11.000 It makes him feel like a fucking savage, you know? 1.00

01:33:14.000 I can see that. 0.99

01:33:15.000 I'm like, okay, I understand.

01:33:16.000 Yeah, he seems like he's having a good time. 0.95

01:33:18.000 Yeah, because that takes a lot of balls to actually do it. 0.50

01:33:21.000 It's like base jumping, you know?

01:33:22.000 It's just, you can only do that for so long.

01:33:24.000 You can only take so much.

01:33:26.000 It's not an unlimited resource.

01:33:29.000 So back to Damien Maia, I think, if you're listening out there, I loved it when he used to pull half guard.

01:33:34.000 If you could take the guy down, take the guy down.

01:33:37.000 Stay on top.

01:33:38.000 But if it's not happening...

01:33:39.000 Maybe he's going to be healthy and fast at 170. Maybe 170 will make him faster.

01:33:43.000 Vinny said he will not hesitate pulling guard if he can't...

01:33:47.000 If he can't take the guy down.

01:33:48.000 He'll always try to take the guy down, but if he can't, he won't hesitate.

01:33:51.000 And that gives him a lot of confidence.

01:33:53.000 He talks to me like, and that gives him confidence.

01:33:55.000 Like, one way or the other, I'm going to drag the fight to the ground and bring them to my world.

01:33:59.000 No longer is he going to pretend to be a kickboxer.

01:34:02.000 That's what he told me.

01:34:02.000 Did you see Brian Ebersole's fight with TJ Wahlberger?

01:34:06.000 Yes, yes.

01:34:07.000 Dude, Brian Ebersole is hard to choke, man.

01:34:10.000 Yeah.

01:34:10.000 That guy's weird.

01:34:11.000 Even though TJ Wahlberger lost...

01:34:13.000 I think he has a lot of potential, and he looked great on his back. 0.99

01:34:17.000 He just needs to tighten up a lot of shit and keep going and keep polishing his game, but his guard looked dangerous as hell. 0.99

01:34:22.000 Ebersole is really hard to tap. 0.99

01:34:24.000 There's something going on with that guy, man.

01:34:26.000 Because he talks about the myth of the guillotine.

01:34:29.000 People can't tap him with the guillotine.

01:34:31.000 I don't know what his deal is. 0.91

01:34:32.000 He might have large aortas in his neck or something. 0.99

01:34:35.000 Yeah, or maybe he's just been grappling for so long that he could just fight that shit off. 0.99

01:34:39.000 Maybe he knows how to fight that shit off, but he doesn't tap the guillotines, he says. 1.00

01:34:43.000 He says guillotines are a myth. 1.00

01:34:45.000 He's a freak, man.

01:34:46.000 I think Marcelo can tap him, though. 0.91

01:34:48.000 I bet, right?

01:34:48.000 Go to Marcelo's.

01:34:49.000 He'll guillotine you. 0.98

01:34:51.000 Because Marcelo's guillotine, the Marcella teen... 1.00

01:34:53.000 I think it's the best choke in the game.

01:34:56.000 It's proven.

01:34:57.000 The research is out there.

01:34:58.000 If you really want to find the best choke in the game, you should know as many chokes as possible.

01:35:04.000 But the best one, for sure, the research, the evidence, it's all out there.

01:35:08.000 The Marcelo team. 1.00

01:35:09.000 The way Marcelo does his guillotine, steady that shit. 1.00

01:35:12.000 What is the main difference? 1.00

01:35:14.000 He's not choking you.

01:35:15.000 It's not like a blood choke.

01:35:17.000 He's smashing your throat.

01:35:18.000 So you tap real quick.

01:35:19.000 They're really quick taps.

01:35:20.000 Because if you get a guy in an arm in guillotine, you might have to crank it maybe 15, 20 seconds, maybe 30 seconds, you're twisting.

01:35:28.000 Maybe 35 seconds, bam, he finally gives up and taps.

01:35:31.000 The Marcella team comes in a flash.

01:35:33.000 Your throat gets smashed and you start tapping.

01:35:35.000 It's a different kind of guillotine. 0.60

01:35:37.000 It's the most effective guillotine out there by far.

01:35:39.000 Does it put guys to sleep still, even though it's smashing the throat, or is it just all pain?

01:35:43.000 From my experience, people are just tapping from the pain.

01:35:48.000 Huh.

01:35:49.000 But it is kind of a choke where you can't breathe.

01:35:52.000 Right.

01:35:53.000 You know, your throat's being smashed.

01:35:54.000 You can't breathe.

01:35:54.000 You've got to tap quick.

01:35:55.000 So if you can't breathe because your throat is getting blocked, do you fall asleep?

01:36:02.000 Maybe you still fall asleep.

01:36:04.000 I don't know.

01:36:05.000 Yeah, I've never seen a guy who I've been more impressed with with his choke defense than I ever saw. 0.96

01:36:11.000 He's crazy. 0.70

01:36:12.000 He doesn't even seem uncomfortable. 0.99

01:36:13.000 His head gets all red and he guts it out and then he's on top throwing bombs.

01:36:18.000 It seems like he's really hard to choke.

01:36:20.000 Yeah, he's a warrior, man. 1.00

01:36:22.000 Tough fucking dude, man. 0.99

01:36:23.000 I'm a big fan of Brian Ebersole. 0.99

01:36:24.000 And a guy who's not afraid of getting choked like that, he can put himself into all kinds of weird situations.

01:36:29.000 It's very strange. 0.97

01:36:32.000 I'm a fan of anybody who has the balls to just do a cartwheel kick. 0.99

01:36:37.000 He nails people. 0.99

01:36:39.000 This is the kick that people thought it was a fake fight.

01:36:42.000 He got in a situation when the commission people thought that he had a fake fight, like it was pro wrestling.

01:36:47.000 They didn't believe that you could actually kick somebody like that.

01:36:49.000 That's crazy. 1.00

01:36:50.000 That shit has a lot of power. 1.00

01:36:51.000 That's like a wheel kick, axe kick. 1.00

01:36:54.000 And more powerful than that, really, because it's got gravity going in its favor.

01:36:58.000 What is that?

01:36:58.000 What kind of kick?

01:36:59.000 What's it called?

01:37:00.000 It's a cartwheel kick.

01:37:00.000 Cartwheel kick.

01:37:01.000 Yeah, that's what Steve Jenim...

01:37:05.000 What is it?

01:37:06.000 Harold Howard tried it on Steve Jennum. 1.00

01:37:08.000 Remember that shit? 0.99

01:37:09.000 UFC 3. Was it 3? 1.00

01:37:12.000 Yeah.

01:37:12.000 Came out and cartwheel kicked.

01:37:14.000 It was a legit technique in karate point fighting and different...

01:37:18.000 I think that was probably the root of it.

01:37:21.000 It was karate, I think, was the root of it. 1.00

01:37:22.000 But it fucking works, man. 0.99

01:37:24.000 If you learned how to do it right, you could nail somebody. 1.00

01:37:26.000 Ebersole's knocked guys out with it.

01:37:29.000 He tried it.

01:37:30.000 He tried it on TJ. He's a wild motherfucker. 1.00

01:37:33.000 He's gonna fight again in Calgary. 1.00

01:37:35.000 They just added him on to that car, I think.

01:37:39.000 So he'll be fighting just a few weeks after his last fight.

01:37:44.000 What do you think about Tito Forrest?

01:37:46.000 I think it's good when guys have had great careers and they're probably close to the end of those great careers and they're fighting each other.

01:37:58.000 I like that.

01:38:00.000 What gets me concerned is when I see one of these guys that's been in the game a long time, he's a legend in the game, and he's fighting like a top young lion.

01:38:09.000 That I always feel like, ooh, I don't want to see this.

01:38:11.000 I like those too.

01:38:12.000 You like those?

01:38:13.000 Yeah, because it's like a Rocky story.

01:38:15.000 If you could pull it off.

01:38:15.000 Remember Rocky was 65 when he came back?

01:38:17.000 Yes, but there's some guys that, you know, they cross a threshold where you don't want to see them get hurt.

01:38:22.000 Like, they cross a threshold where you see them, you know, get laid out a couple of times.

01:38:25.000 And you're like, alright, I'm not really into seeing this dude get hurt any further.

01:38:29.000 You know, especially by some young killer.

01:38:31.000 You know, you see some young dude who just has lightning fast strikes and just comes in and lights him up.

01:38:38.000 What do you think about Young Young Kim and...

01:38:40.000 Dong Young. 0.63

01:38:41.000 Dong Young Kim. 0.50

01:38:42.000 What do you think?

01:38:43.000 I think Kim is getting really good with his kickboxing.

01:38:46.000 His movement and his feet is way better.

01:38:50.000 Dong Young Kim? 0.65

01:38:51.000 Oh, okay.

01:38:51.000 He's got...

01:38:52.000 Who did he rock?

01:38:54.000 He rocked somebody with a jumping front kick to the face.

01:38:57.000 Yeah.

01:38:58.000 And then finished him off. 1.00

01:38:59.000 Who the fuck was that? 0.99

01:38:59.000 I don't remember. 0.99

01:39:01.000 But Damien Maia's striking is getting better as well.

01:39:03.000 It is.

01:39:04.000 He's not afraid to throw down.

01:39:06.000 His striking is pretty decent.

01:39:08.000 He hurt Mark Munoz.

01:39:11.000 He tagged Mark Munoz. 0.98

01:39:13.000 I think he really surprised the shit out of him.

01:39:15.000 There's a couple of Brazilians that are turning into legit strikers.

01:39:18.000 Damien Maia and Fabrizio Verdum.

01:39:20.000 Yes.

01:39:21.000 Yeah, Fabricio Verdum.

01:39:23.000 It's crazy watching guys blossom, right?

01:39:25.000 Yeah, he's got a, I mean, Fabricio Verdum's got like a real kickboxing game now.

01:39:30.000 Throws nasty knees, leg kicks.

01:39:33.000 He caught that dude with an uppercut, you know, a clean uppercut.

01:39:37.000 He's a dangerous guy.

01:39:38.000 That's a big dude, man. 0.99

01:39:39.000 When you stand next to Fabricio Verdum, his fucking feet are like that big, his hands are big. 0.98

01:39:44.000 That's a real heavyweight. 1.00

01:39:45.000 He's that motherfucking handful. 0.99

01:39:47.000 You know who impressed the fuck out of me? 1.00

01:39:49.000 Charles Oliveira, man. 0.96

01:39:50.000 Hell yeah. 1.00

01:39:51.000 Damn! 1.00

01:39:52.000 That is a true savage right there. 1.00

01:39:55.000 Sean Pearson was the guy that Dong Young Kim hit with a jumping front kick in the face. 0.99

01:40:00.000 And Sean Pearson's fucking good, man. 0.97

01:40:02.000 And he's got a victory over Nate Diaz. 0.98

01:40:05.000 He's got a victory over Amir Sadala. 0.99

01:40:07.000 He's fucking good, man. 0.99

01:40:08.000 Dong Young Kim is good. 1.00

01:40:09.000 He's no joke.

01:40:10.000 And he's not scared to go to the ground either. 1.00

01:40:12.000 He's strong as fuck. 0.99

01:40:13.000 He's a really good judo guy. 1.00

01:40:14.000 Real good defense.

01:40:16.000 It could be a decision, right?

01:40:18.000 Or it could be a submission, man.

01:40:20.000 It could be a submission.

01:40:21.000 They could go to the ground and Damien Maia might just lock him up.

01:40:24.000 And 170, if he can come in healthy, you know, if he weighs like a healthy 185, 190 or something come fight time, that's going to be weird to see.

01:40:33.000 But how old is Damien?

01:40:34.000 He's probably in his mid-30s?

01:40:36.000 Probably.

01:40:37.000 32, 33 or something like that?

01:40:38.000 Yeah, something like that.

01:40:38.000 I should find out before I talk about that.

01:40:40.000 Because that has an effect also on cutting a big amount of weight this late in your career.

01:40:45.000 It's gonna be interesting to see what he looks like at seven. 0.94

01:40:47.000 I'm sure he's a smart guy though if he's doing anything I'm sure that he's doing it the right way 34 if he's doing anything you know he spends a lot of time training with a lot of wrestlers and I'm sure they're gonna give him like the exact right way to do it and you know he's not he's such a bright guy I would assume that he would absolutely do it the correct way and he would only I mean must have made some some test runs But I have split feelings on shit like that. 0.94

01:41:15.000 I just think it's so unhealthy.

01:41:17.000 When dudes cut a shitload of weight, it's just like, man, I don't think you should cut that much weight.

01:41:22.000 It's so crazy.

01:41:24.000 It just seems so unhealthy.

01:41:25.000 It seems like there's a point of diminishing return that a lot of guys cross over.

01:41:30.000 You know, I think you get to around like 8, 10 pounds, 5 pounds, something like that.

01:41:33.000 That's nothing.

01:41:34.000 That's good.

01:41:35.000 That's fine.

01:41:36.000 It's barely even going to hurt you.

01:41:37.000 You're going to be fine.

01:41:38.000 You know, you go back, you refuel.

01:41:41.000 But when dudes are cutting 25, 30 pounds, like they're Anthony Johnson coming in like weighing almost 200 pounds and they're fighting at 170, that's kind of crazy.

01:41:51.000 It's weird.

01:41:52.000 How do you stop that, though?

01:41:55.000 How do you tell people that they can't do that anymore?

01:41:58.000 Well, if you can make it, then that's your spot.

01:42:02.000 That's where you should be.

01:42:03.000 If you can make it, that's your spot.

01:42:05.000 I know, but what a weird way to do business.

01:42:08.000 Everybody has to almost kill themselves the day before we're going to fight.

01:42:12.000 Everybody has to literally starve to the point where you're really unhealthy. 0.99

01:42:16.000 You look terrible.

01:42:17.000 There's a lot of guys who step on the scale 24 hours before a big fight and they don't look good at all.

01:42:22.000 You know?

01:42:23.000 It's crazy.

01:42:23.000 Who knows that more than you?

01:42:25.000 Yeah.

01:42:26.000 Or there's guys like BJ Penn who would choose to fight at 170 and he doesn't even really weigh 170. He would weigh like 166. You know, when BJ fought like Matt Hughes, I think he was like 166. He's been as low as like 164 and he's fighting welterweights, you know?

01:42:42.000 There's that way to do it, too.

01:42:44.000 I mean, Frankie Edgar won the lightweight title, you know, that way.

01:42:49.000 By being a real 155-pound dude, fighting dudes who are, you know, probably like 175 maybe.

01:42:55.000 85. Maybe even, yeah.

01:42:57.000 I mean, Grant Maynard's a big dude. 0.99

01:42:59.000 He's thick as fuck, man. 0.99

01:43:01.000 You know, I don't know how much Gray cuts, but he looks big. 1.00

01:43:04.000 He gets to be 230 during offseason.

01:43:06.000 No.

01:43:07.000 No.

01:43:08.000 Didn't Mike Goldberg say he gets to, like, 200 or something, though?

01:43:11.000 He's been 200?

01:43:12.000 Probably, probably.

01:43:13.000 Like, Joe Stevenson used to hover around 200 for a while, and he'd cut down on 55. Same thing with Chris Brennan.

01:43:19.000 Did you see Joe Stevenson?

01:43:21.000 He left the UFC, and he just lost to that dude, Dakota Cochran, the guy who had been in... 0.97

01:43:26.000 He had, like, some sort of a career in gay porn. 0.81

01:43:31.000 He fought Joe Stevenson? 0.99

01:43:33.000 Yeah.

01:43:33.000 Undercard?

01:43:34.000 You don't know this whole thing about tough?

01:43:36.000 I don't know. 0.98

01:43:36.000 Yeah, he was on The Ultimate Fighter, and he needed some money in his past, so he did some gay porn, and they let him on the show. 0.98

01:43:44.000 Okay. 0.98

01:43:44.000 And I thought that was cool. 0.98

01:43:47.000 I was like, you know, like, all right, you know, like, why not, man?

01:43:50.000 Let the kid on the show.

01:43:51.000 Why wouldn't you let him on the show? 0.99

01:43:52.000 Isn't the show all about, like, trying to get your shit together? 0.97

01:43:55.000 I mean, how many of the guys that are on the show have been in jail? 0.99

01:43:56.000 How many of the guys on the show have been in jail for assault?

01:43:59.000 Has it been any?

01:44:00.000 I don't know.

01:44:01.000 It might not been any.

01:44:02.000 They probably wouldn't allow you to, right?

01:44:04.000 They'd probably, like, make sure that they didn't get responsible for anybody that was dangerous.

01:44:08.000 I don't even know the answer to that question.

01:44:10.000 But, so the dude had a little problem in his past.

01:44:13.000 It's in the past now.

01:44:15.000 Unfortunately, there's a video of it.

01:44:16.000 And they let him on the show.

01:44:17.000 I think that's cool.

01:44:19.000 But he didn't make it, and he lost.

01:44:20.000 But he's good, man. 0.99

01:44:21.000 He's fucking good. 0.99

01:44:22.000 He's real good. 1.00

01:44:23.000 He beat Joe Stevenson. 0.99

01:44:23.000 He fucked Joe Daddy up, dude. 0.99

01:44:25.000 Fucked Joe Daddy up standing, then caught him on the ground and got him in the rear naked and finished him. 1.00

01:44:29.000 Wow. 0.99

01:44:29.000 Dude, and he had his back a couple of times. 0.99

01:44:31.000 He fucked Joe up, man. 1.00

01:44:33.000 He's good. 1.00

01:44:34.000 He's explosive.

01:44:35.000 He's really fast.

01:44:36.000 Who did he lose to on The Ultimate Fighter?

01:44:38.000 I don't know.

01:44:38.000 Bert Kreischer.

01:44:41.000 He may have gotten hurt, I think.

01:44:43.000 Did he?

01:44:44.000 I think you're right.

01:44:44.000 Yeah.

01:44:45.000 I think you're right.

01:44:46.000 Maybe.

01:44:46.000 This last season, right?

01:44:48.000 Yeah.

01:44:48.000 Because I saw the last season.

01:44:49.000 It's good.

01:44:50.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:44:50.000 I don't know what the fuck happened to him. 0.99

01:44:53.000 We should look it up. 0.98

01:44:54.000 We should look it up.

01:44:56.000 Brett Kreischer's new show starts tonight at 9. We're talking about MMA, son.

01:44:59.000 Trip Flip.

01:45:02.000 He's watching right now.

01:45:03.000 He's a sweetie.

01:45:04.000 Here it is.

01:45:09.000 I'm trying to find out.

01:45:10.000 What about Silva, Sonnen?

01:45:11.000 What do you think?

01:45:12.000 What do you think is going to go down?

01:45:13.000 I mean, anything could happen, really.

01:45:16.000 We can see the exact same fight again, and this time Sonnen pulls it off and stays out of trouble.

01:45:21.000 Or maybe Anderson Silva's got to the point where he's really hard to take down now, and Sonnen's having a hard time taking him down.

01:45:28.000 Maybe he takes him down once or twice, but...

01:45:30.000 It's the third round and he's having a hard time.

01:45:32.000 He's forced to strike with Silva and Silva takes him apart.

01:45:35.000 Or we could see Sonnen hurting Silva standing and then going right through him. 0.99

01:45:40.000 Anything could fucking happen. 0.99

01:45:42.000 You just don't know. 0.99

01:45:43.000 You know, who knows?

01:45:44.000 Maybe Sonnen takes Silva down immediately and Silva comes after him with an incredible guard.

01:45:51.000 He just, instead of like being cautious like he was in his last fight and he threw that triangle up in the fifth round, like go after him right away. 0.91

01:45:58.000 We might see that and he might fucking tap him in a triangle in 30 seconds. 0.95

01:46:03.000 Anything can happen. 1.00

01:46:04.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.98

01:46:06.000 This Dakota Cochran dude, he came in as a late replacement against Jamie Varner and dominated Jamie Varner at Titan Fighting Championships. 0.99

01:46:14.000 I guess he won a decision over him there.

01:46:17.000 And then he lost on the Ultimate Fighter to some dude named James Vick.

01:46:20.000 He lost to Vick via split decision.

01:46:24.000 This is his Wikipedia.

01:46:26.000 He performed in 16 videos under the stage name Danny.

01:46:31.000 Fully disclose this information to the UFC. So the UFC said, alright, whatever.

01:46:36.000 They're probably loving it.

01:46:37.000 Just for the interesting angle.

01:46:40.000 But the dude can fight.

01:46:41.000 Forget about all that. 0.98

01:46:42.000 He can fight his ass off. 0.67

01:46:44.000 He beat Jamie Varner and he beat Joe Stevenson.

01:46:45.000 If he blows up, there's going to be other sections when an Armenian fighter fights.

01:46:50.000 There's a section where they're all Armenians.

01:46:51.000 You know what I mean? 0.94

01:46:52.000 There's going to be gay sections. 0.88

01:46:53.000 Probably, man.

01:46:54.000 That'd be awesome, dude.

01:46:55.000 I think the dude is straight, though.

01:46:56.000 He only did it for money.

01:46:57.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

01:46:59.000 Well, that's what he says. 0.97

01:47:01.000 But for sure he has a big gay following. 0.92

01:47:04.000 For sure.

01:47:05.000 And dude, what if they show up in droves?

01:47:08.000 That would be awesome.

01:47:08.000 Right.

01:47:09.000 What if gay dudes start entering into fighting? 0.97

01:47:10.000 Yeah. 0.86

01:47:11.000 That would be cool. 0.99

01:47:12.000 Fucking dudes up. 0.99

01:47:12.000 You know what? 0.99

01:47:12.000 They might have more anger than your average dude. 0.99

01:47:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:47:15.000 All that shit. 1.00

01:47:16.000 Well, also, it might be a real mindfuck for a straight dude to get beat up by a gay guy. 1.00

01:47:21.000 Like, that might be a mindfuck. 1.00

01:47:22.000 Like, not only does this guy beat my ass, he could fuck me. 1.00

01:47:24.000 And he might want to. 1.00

01:47:25.000 Yeah, I mean, maybe that would work for him.

01:47:30.000 For a lot of dudes, it probably would.

01:47:32.000 For a lot of dudes, it probably would.

01:47:34.000 When he gets your back, that's real. 0.99

01:47:36.000 Yeah, there's got to be a style out there specifically for anal rape. 1.00

01:47:41.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:47:42.000 That's jujitsu for sure.

01:47:44.000 You'd have to have a base in jujitsu, but it'd get technical because you'd have to pin the arms a certain way, pin his knees a certain way to get penetration.

01:47:52.000 It's totally different drills.

01:47:53.000 It's hard to hold them in place.

01:47:54.000 Yeah, but it could be like cop tactics, like police tactics, where there's jujitsu in there, but they got the baton, they got something else going on, they got to handcuff them.

01:48:05.000 I think maybe you have to handcuff them first.

01:48:08.000 Handcuffs have to be part of your style. 1.00

01:48:09.000 Let's not give anybody any ideas.

01:48:11.000 That just seems like a rude thing.

01:48:13.000 That's the easiest way, right?

01:48:13.000 A rude thing to do to a person.

01:48:16.000 Why even bring that up?

01:48:18.000 What a terrible thing to do to a person.

01:48:22.000 That's definitely not using martial arts for good.

01:48:25.000 Yes.

01:48:26.000 You're right. 0.99

01:48:27.000 I fucked up.

01:48:29.000 I'm sorry. 0.96

01:48:32.000 Have you seen this thing, I'm going to change gears completely, about these things that they found, these portals in the universe, these hidden portals between the Earth and the Sun.

01:48:43.000 They're totally confused, but they're some sort of a guide door, a shortcut, and there's an opening in the space or time field.

01:48:53.000 Is this legit?

01:48:54.000 Yeah.

01:48:55.000 Whoa.

01:48:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:48:56.000 Tweet that shit. 1.00

01:48:57.000 Yeah, it's a NASA-funded researcher and plasma physicist, Jack Scuder of the University of Iowa, claims he has figured out a way to find them, and they're called X-points, or electron diffusion regions. 0.99

01:49:11.000 And so there's, you know, the idea is that there's pathways in our galaxy, that our galaxy isn't just, it's not just like, you know, you have to go from here to there.

01:49:21.000 No, you can actually go in this thing, and it might take you somewhere else.

01:49:28.000 Like a real wormhole.

01:49:30.000 Can you imagine if we find out that wormholes are just like tunnels that just exist all over the place?

01:49:35.000 And you know how you can, you know, just drive through the tunnel?

01:49:38.000 Well, you can just go through the wormhole.

01:49:39.000 And that's what you do.

01:49:40.000 Whoop!

01:49:41.000 And you're on the other side.

01:49:43.000 How about that?

01:49:44.000 Have you seen a documentary?

01:49:46.000 That was the ultimate stoner response.

01:49:47.000 Yeah, Jim Morrison did it.

01:49:50.000 I can do it too.

01:49:51.000 Do you know anything about the Coral Castle in Florida?

01:49:53.000 Yes, I do.

01:49:54.000 That dude who made some crazy castle.

01:49:57.000 Brian, pull this up because I don't understand the science of it and I'm sure I'm butchering it.

01:50:01.000 It's NASA discovers hidden portals in space.

01:50:05.000 It's on YouTube and it'll explain it.

01:50:09.000 NASA discovers hidden portals in space, and it's on YouTube.

01:50:15.000 So it'll explain better what they mean by portals.

01:50:19.000 But the way I'm saying it, and I'm sure I'm fucking it up, but in my rudimentary understanding of it, it means that the universe is not just one flat sort of...

01:50:30.000 It's not the same everywhere. 0.96

01:50:32.000 There's little pathways and shit. 0.83

01:50:34.000 There's things that exist that, you know, not just black holes, but other things that will take you through to somewhere else. 0.97

01:50:41.000 Which is kind of nuts.

01:50:42.000 I mean, someday, some future generation of ours might be able to actually traverse something like that, you know?

01:50:48.000 I mean, it's really crazy to wrap your head around that we might figure out one day how to navigate through the universe and fucking go through an actual portal into another place.

01:50:58.000 It's hard to wrap your head around. 0.96

01:51:00.000 Yeah, man. 0.97

01:51:01.000 I mean, just basic shit like the Earth's magnetic field, you know, and that there's certain points on the planet where there's hyper-magnetic activity. 0.97

01:51:11.000 Presented by Science at NASA. That guy sounds like he gets no pussy. 1.00

01:51:16.000 A favorite theme of science fiction is the portal, an extraordinary opening in space or time that connects travelers to distant realms. 0.99

01:51:26.000 A good portal is a shortcut, a guide, a door into the unknown.

01:51:30.000 If only they actually existed.

01:51:33.000 It turns out that they do, sort of.

01:51:36.000 And a NASA-funded researcher at the University of Iowa has figured out how to find them.

01:51:41.000 We call them X-points, or electron diffusion regions, explains plasma physicist Jack Scudder of the University of Iowa.

01:51:50.000 They're places where the magnetic field of Earth connects to the magnetic field of the Sun.

01:51:55.000 Creating an uninterrupted path leading from our own planet to the Sun's atmosphere 93 million miles away.

01:52:03.000 Observations by NASA's Themis spacecraft and Europe's cluster probes suggest that these magnetic portals open and close dozens of times each day.

01:52:12.000 They're typically located a few tens of thousands of kilometers from Earth, where the geomagnetic field meets the onrushing solar wind.

01:52:21.000 Most portals are small and short-lived.

01:52:24.000 Others are yawning, vast, and sustained.

01:52:27.000 Energetic particles can flow through the openings, heating Earth's upper atmosphere, sparking geomagnetic storms, and igniting bright polar auroras.

01:52:38.000 NASA is planning a mission called MMS, short for Magnetospheric Multiscale Mission, due to launch in 2014 to study the phenomenon.

01:52:48.000 Bristling with energetic particle detectors and magnetic sensors, the four spacecraft of MMS will spread out in Earth's magnetosphere and surround the portals to observe how they work.

01:52:59.000 Just one problem.

01:53:01.000 Finding them.

01:53:03.000 Magnetic portals are invisible, unstable, and elusive.

01:53:07.000 They open and close without warning.

01:53:10.000 And there are no signposts to guide us in, notes Scudder.

01:53:13.000 Actually, there are signposts.

01:53:15.000 And Scudder has found them.

01:53:18.000 Portals form via the process of magnetic reconnection.

01:53:22.000 Mingling lines of magnetic force from the Sun and Earth crisscross and join to create the openings.

01:53:29.000 X-points are where the crisscross takes place.

01:53:31.000 The sudden joining of magnetic fields can propel jets of charged particles from the X-point, creating an electron diffusion region.

01:53:40.000 To learn how to pinpoint these events, Scudder looked at data from a space probe that orbited Earth more than 10 years ago.

01:53:47.000 In the late 1990s, NASA's polar spacecraft spent years in Earth's magnetosphere, explained Scudder, and it encountered many X-points during its mission.

01:53:57.000 Because Polar carried sensors similar to those of MMS, Scudder decided to see how an X-point looked to Polar.

01:54:04.000 Using polar data, we have found five simple combinations of magnetic field and energetic particle measurements that tell us when we've come across an X-point or an electron diffusion region.

01:54:16.000 A single spacecraft, properly instrumented, can make these measurements.

01:54:21.000 This means that a single member of the MMS constellation, using the diagnostics, can find a portal and alert other members of the constellation.

01:54:30.000 Mission planners long thought that MMS might have to...

01:54:34.000 If you want to hear the whole thing, go online.

01:54:38.000 I'm sure most of us are not absorbing that.

01:54:41.000 We're going to have to go back and listen to that and read the paperwork on it. 0.98

01:54:45.000 But that sounds fucking crazy.

01:54:47.000 Finding new things like that in space is like weird. 0.97

01:54:49.000 It's so weird.

01:54:51.000 It's like the idea that we already figured out what was out there. 0.99

01:54:53.000 Oh, there's some new shit. 0.99

01:54:54.000 Here's some invisible magnetic portal. 1.00

01:54:57.000 Oops. 1.00

01:54:58.000 Here's some new shit. 0.99

01:55:00.000 Did you hear about this new civilization they discovered that lived 8,500 years ago somewhere near Spain? 0.99

01:55:07.000 They found it underwater. 0.99

01:55:09.000 They have pottery, all kinds of shit. 0.97

01:55:13.000 Apparently this area used to be above ground. 0.98

01:55:18.000 Somewhere between 11,000 and 6,000 years ago it slowly sank away.

01:55:25.000 They've recovered human bones and pottery.

01:55:28.000 It seems like every other month there's some new groundbreaking discovery that pushes back the date of civilization.

01:55:36.000 It's amazing, you know?

01:55:38.000 This Gobekli Tepe was like the first big one, and now they're always finding, like, they found these concentric rings in the ocean floor that they believe is Atlantis, and I think that's somewhere around Spain.

01:55:51.000 You know, there's all sorts of speculation that there might have been a fuckload of civilizations that were, like, really, you know, pretty advanced for the time, and they were living right by the water, and they're gone now.

01:56:04.000 The water level changed.

01:56:05.000 What do you think about that Baltic Sea saucer?

01:56:08.000 You think it's just a rock?

01:56:09.000 I'm pretty sure it's a rock, yeah.

01:56:11.000 Have you looked into it?

01:56:11.000 Yeah, I haven't seen any photos that make me think it's anything other than weird rocks.

01:56:16.000 Did you hear about the divers going down there and trying to fuck with it? 0.86

01:56:19.000 Yeah, the power shuts off. 1.00

01:56:21.000 Yeah, it could be their equipment sucks at high depth.

01:56:23.000 It could be the pressure of the equipment.

01:56:26.000 The equipment failed. 0.99

01:56:27.000 Sometimes people look for shit to be something crafty. 0.98

01:56:30.000 I would love it if it was something crafty. 1.00

01:56:32.000 But I saw the pictures and I'm like, that shit looks like rocks, man. 0.99

01:56:36.000 They're like, well, there's a pearl necklace. 0.99

01:56:38.000 It's like scattered rocks.

01:56:39.000 You guys are reaching.

01:56:40.000 This is just rocks.

01:56:42.000 Maybe when you're down there looking at it eye to eye, it looks different. 0.99

01:56:45.000 And maybe there's some shit that they haven't been able to photograph yet. 0.98

01:56:48.000 Then once you see it, you go, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1.00

01:56:50.000 This is a fucking... 0.99

01:56:51.000 Somebody made this. 1.00

01:56:52.000 Maybe.

01:56:52.000 It's possible.

01:56:54.000 But most of the time, I think, there's plenty of shit out there that they could be looking at. 0.98

01:56:59.000 You ever see those giant stones? 0.99

01:57:00.000 You think the scientists are faking their enthusiasm?

01:57:03.000 They're like, wait.

01:57:04.000 No.

01:57:04.000 They're enthusiastic.

01:57:05.000 It doesn't mean, you know...

01:57:08.000 I don't know if they're looking to see something. 0.99

01:57:11.000 I don't know if what they can actually see is much cooler than the shit they've shown us. 0.99

01:57:15.000 The shit that they've shown us is like, you see this big rock, and I don't know why we're supposed to think that's special. 0.99

01:57:21.000 But rocks sometimes form in weird forms. 0.99

01:57:25.000 Graham Hancock said it's just a rock.

01:57:27.000 That's what his...

01:57:28.000 Really?

01:57:29.000 His assessment of it was.

01:57:30.000 Oh, okay.

01:57:30.000 It's a peculiar rock.

01:57:32.000 That's what he believes it is.

01:57:33.000 But, you know, this is just the beginning of data.

01:57:35.000 No one knows but the people who are down there staring at it. 0.98

01:57:37.000 You know, it might be some aliens versus predator fucking temple, and we just, you know, we're getting cocky. 0.95

01:57:44.000 Or just some old civilization that used to be above water. 0.99

01:57:47.000 Could be, yeah.

01:57:48.000 Could be easy.

01:57:48.000 You know what I mean?

01:57:49.000 Yeah.

01:57:50.000 How much would be left of something if it was underwater from 30,000 years under the ocean? 1.00

01:57:55.000 How much of that shit gets jacked? 0.99

01:57:56.000 Maybe it's like part of some Russian experiment or something. 1.00

01:57:59.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:58:00.000 Maybe it's a troll. 0.90

01:58:01.000 It's a big troll. 0.94

01:58:02.000 No, no, no. 0.99

01:58:03.000 I mean like some vessel that the Russians were fucking with like 30 years ago. 0.85

01:58:08.000 I don't think so. 0.96

01:58:09.000 I think they're saying it's a stone.

01:58:10.000 It's a stone structure.

01:58:11.000 Whatever it is.

01:58:12.000 Natural structure.

01:58:13.000 Whatever it is.

01:58:14.000 Okay.

01:58:14.000 I believe they're saying it's stone.

01:58:15.000 I think there's just some peculiar like pathways in it and stuff like that. 0.66

01:58:19.000 But it could be just some weird ass stone.

01:58:21.000 I haven't looked that into it.

01:58:23.000 I just saw maybe a five-minute news clip on the latest dive, and they said they went down, all the power goes off.

01:58:31.000 They came up, and they went back twice.

01:58:32.000 It sounds awesome.

01:58:33.000 If I was going to write a script, that's what I would write.

01:58:35.000 And one of the guys was the biggest skeptic.

01:58:38.000 Now, he can't explain it.

01:58:40.000 He doesn't want to make a statement, but he's saying this is not normal.

01:58:44.000 What is the latest?

01:58:45.000 When was the last time you announced it?

01:58:46.000 It was a news report.

01:58:47.000 Yeah, look at it.

01:58:48.000 This Baltic UFO news report.

01:58:53.000 Yeah, what's interesting is it's so sexy to want to think that this is from some other planet.

01:58:59.000 You know, it's so intriguing. 0.97

01:59:02.000 Imagine if we really found a fucking ship at the bottom of the ocean and it was just dressed up like a rock. 0.98

01:59:10.000 Because that's what you would do if you wanted to hide your ship. 1.00

01:59:12.000 You make it look like a fucking rock. 1.00

01:59:13.000 I mean, they're aliens. 0.99

01:59:14.000 They can come here from another planet, but it has to look like a ship. 1.00

01:59:17.000 That's so stupid. 1.00

01:59:19.000 Maybe they made a fucking alien spacecraft that looks like rocks. 1.00

01:59:23.000 So when it's on the bottom, it's just chilling like a rock. 0.99

01:59:26.000 Of course they should be able to alter their environment or the way they look to their environment.

01:59:30.000 So maybe that's what it is.

01:59:32.000 I would love that.

01:59:32.000 That's the best thing.

01:59:33.000 That would be the most fun news story that would change the world.

01:59:38.000 But I'm not convinced.

01:59:39.000 New dive details.

01:59:41.000 Photos.

01:59:42.000 Look for the news story.

01:59:45.000 Yeah, there's some photos.

01:59:47.000 Brian, can you find it so I can see it?

01:59:49.000 That show the rocks.

01:59:51.000 It's like a BBC thing, maybe.

01:59:54.000 I mean, it's interesting, man. 0.99

01:59:57.000 Hopefully it's something, but it might be bullshit. 0.92

01:59:59.000 It might totally be a natural thing. 1.00

02:00:01.000 Their equipment might suck.

02:00:03.000 Who knows? 0.93

02:00:04.000 But, like I said, it's sexy to think that it's not.

02:00:07.000 The whole idea of UFOs is the sexiest idea ever.

02:00:12.000 That there's actually going to be something. 0.97

02:00:13.000 You forget your bills, forget what the fuck is on TV, even if it was like the final season premiere of the Game of Thrones, you know? 0.96

02:00:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:00:22.000 Last season, first episode, you know, final season premiere of the game, still would take seeing a UFO. Remember, if I remember correctly, and I could be wrong about David Icke, like, in the beginning of his career as being, like, a dude who lectures on Illuminati type stuff...

02:00:40.000 He said some shit about reptilians and then a lot of people turned, that turned him off. 0.99

02:00:45.000 They're like, fuck, David Icke is that reptilian guy. 1.00

02:00:47.000 He loses me when he talks about reptilians. 1.00

02:00:49.000 So then it seemed like he stopped talking about reptilians for a while.

02:00:53.000 But recently I just saw this seminar he did and he gets in depth about reptilians.

02:00:59.000 He says that all the world leaders have David Icke, I just saw this last week, are being controlled by reptilians that are on a different frequency and they're around them controlling them.

02:01:12.000 You just can't see them.

02:01:13.000 They're actually controlling the world leaders.

02:01:17.000 That's what he thinks.

02:01:18.000 And he's talking about this in his lecture.

02:01:20.000 It's amazing.

02:01:21.000 It's amazing that he can do this.

02:01:23.000 I think he's an entertainer.

02:01:26.000 That's what I think.

02:01:27.000 I think part of what he does is he's an entertainer.

02:01:29.000 I think he's a lot like...

02:01:32.000 There's a few other guys that I don't buy for a second.

02:01:35.000 He's one of them. 0.99

02:01:36.000 I think he's got some really good, valid information that he mixes in with some crazy shit. 0.99

02:01:42.000 And he creates a whole cottage industry. 0.99

02:01:45.000 That's what I think.

02:01:46.000 Alex Jones was totally against David Icke for a while because of the reptilian thing.

02:01:53.000 Totally against him.

02:01:54.000 And then he actually became friends with David Icke and he doesn't really want to get into it, but he says that the reptilian thing makes more sense to him now.

02:02:05.000 And they're cool now.

02:02:06.000 They hated each other. 0.99

02:02:07.000 They used to talk shit on each other. 1.00

02:02:08.000 Oh, that's hilarious. 1.00

02:02:09.000 Now they're cool.

02:02:09.000 They've been cool for a while, though.

02:02:11.000 Alex Jones is a big sweetie.

02:02:13.000 Yeah.

02:02:14.000 That's the reality.

02:02:15.000 The reality is Alex Jones is always a big sweetie.

02:02:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:02:18.000 He's one of the coolest fuckers to hang out with. 0.98

02:02:21.000 He's a really nice guy. 0.99

02:02:22.000 You know, people would never believe it if he watches Doom and Gloom!

02:02:25.000 Yeah.

02:02:26.000 You know how crazy is it that we've partied with him in Vegas and got hammered with him?

02:02:31.000 Hammered.

02:02:32.000 We had a great time with him.

02:02:33.000 He's an awesome guy.

02:02:34.000 He is not a bad dude, man.

02:02:36.000 He just gets all worked up.

02:02:37.000 Yeah, and he loves talking.

02:02:40.000 Even when the cameras are off, he can talk all that conspiracy talk non-stop, 24 hours.

02:02:46.000 He never gets tired of it.

02:02:48.000 I love hearing it.

02:02:49.000 I got Alex Jones sitting next to me at Wolfgang Puck.

02:02:53.000 Well, he's Illuminati with the situation.

02:02:56.000 He was brought in by Kennedy in the 60s, 1961, Operation Thundercat. 1.00

02:03:04.000 He'll fucking hit you with some shit, and you're like, what? 0.99

02:03:07.000 But a lot of what he's saying is right. 1.00

02:03:09.000 Hell yeah, I love Alex Jones, man. 1.00

02:03:11.000 I love his shit. 1.00

02:03:12.000 You can't be right all the time. 1.00

02:03:14.000 Everyone's wrong, and sometimes he's wrong about shit. 0.98

02:03:17.000 You don't discount all the fucking beautiful info that he has. 0.99

02:03:20.000 He goes after it. 0.97

02:03:21.000 Yeah, he's going to miss a lot. 0.99

02:03:23.000 If you're going to judge someone on being wrong about this or that because he was wrong about Y2K, everyone's wrong about some shit. 0.94

02:03:32.000 You can't be right about everything. 0.95

02:03:33.000 Well, it's the doom and gloom, guys.

02:03:35.000 There's a certain amount of entertainment to it.

02:03:37.000 You've got to recognize that much like Fox News has committed itself to being conservative, he has committed himself to a doom and gloom.

02:03:45.000 And to a certain extent, that's the problem that I had with Rupert Murdoch.

02:03:48.000 Not Rupert Murdoch.

02:03:50.000 I don't know Rupert Murdoch.

02:03:51.000 Michael Rupert, when Michael Rupert was on the show.

02:03:54.000 And he would alternate between thinking that it was going to be the end of the world or thinking that people were going to pull it together. 0.60

02:04:00.000 And I think that you can get caught up in thinking that everything's going to fucking fall apart.

02:04:06.000 You can get caught up in that. 0.92

02:04:07.000 It's real easy.

02:04:08.000 It's real easy to just decide it's all coming to an end.

02:04:11.000 It's easy to do, you know?

02:04:14.000 And I think...

02:04:17.000 You get caught up in that the whole world is corrupt and there's doom and gloom everywhere and you get caught up in that whole Alex Jones conspiracy mentality. 0.99

02:04:26.000 Well, a lot of it's fucking real, man. 0.97

02:04:28.000 Yeah, it's true. 0.98

02:04:28.000 We don't live in a society where the government is all about the people. 0.98

02:04:33.000 We don't, whether you want to believe it or not. 0.99

02:04:34.000 The way I look at it is I'm not going to go out there and picket shit, you know. 0.98

02:04:39.000 Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind if it affects, if something happens that affects me personally, maybe I'll be out there with a picket. 0.95

02:04:44.000 But one thing we can all do is we can all use Twitter or Facebook just to make people aware.

02:04:50.000 I think everybody is aware.

02:04:53.000 And that's just from Twitter and from Facebook.

02:04:55.000 If they're aware of what's going on, I think slowly we change.

02:04:59.000 Because I really think that... 0.98

02:05:02.000 You know, there is light at the end of the tunnel from all these conspiracy theories and all that shit. 0.97

02:05:06.000 I think that there is hope that if everybody was aware, and today more than any other time in history, more people are aware that the government is fucking them than ever before because of the internet. 0.96

02:05:19.000 So I just think let's just keep making people aware. 0.90

02:05:22.000 Just keep pounding them over the head with the information.

02:05:24.000 Look at the studies.

02:05:25.000 Look at this.

02:05:26.000 Look what they're doing.

02:05:28.000 Some people just do not want to believe that the government doesn't have our best interests.

02:05:34.000 They don't want to believe that.

02:05:35.000 They get angry if you bring it up.

02:05:36.000 You don't have any proof.

02:05:37.000 That's not proof.

02:05:38.000 There's 1,500 people.

02:05:41.000 Engineers and architects that are band together.

02:05:44.000 They've gone out of their way banding together saying, dude, Tower 7 was demoed.

02:05:50.000 I mean, they're banding together.

02:05:52.000 And when people say, you know how many architects there are? 0.98

02:05:55.000 There's fucking hundreds of thousands. 0.98

02:05:56.000 So 1,500 got together? 0.99

02:05:58.000 You know what I mean?

02:05:59.000 If 1,500 architects got together and petitioned and said, this house is condemned.

02:06:05.000 It's going to fall apart.

02:06:06.000 It's dangerous.

02:06:07.000 Would you say...

02:06:09.000 There's only 1,500 architects.

02:06:11.000 There's 100,000 of them.

02:06:12.000 No, you'd go, wait a minute. 1.00

02:06:14.000 I'm not moving into that motherfucker. 0.99

02:06:16.000 That's kind of an unfair comparison because you're talking about a public event. 0.99

02:06:19.000 And when you talk about a public event, the entire world saw this one public event.

02:06:23.000 So you're dealing with millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of people.

02:06:28.000 To get 1,500 that think there's something going on.

02:06:31.000 Architects and engineers.

02:06:32.000 Look, I'm just saying, 1,500 crazy people is not unlikely.

02:06:35.000 I agree, obviously.

02:06:36.000 I've always agreed.

02:06:37.000 There's something wrong with that thing.

02:06:39.000 It fell down like a controlled demolition.

02:06:41.000 It's weird.

02:06:42.000 It's weird that that doesn't freak people out. 0.96

02:06:43.000 And it's weird that you can't sue the fuck out of someone who built a building for you and it catches on fire and just fucking collapses like that. 0.78

02:06:50.000 What about the former head of Star Wars that's coming out? 0.94

02:06:54.000 Making some serious allegations.

02:06:57.000 He's saying the former head of Star Wars.

02:07:01.000 Is he a scientist? 1.00

02:07:02.000 He's a bunch of shit. 1.00

02:07:04.000 He's coming out and saying that based on the evidence, based on all the shit he knows about 9-11, Based on all that shit, he thinks it looks like it's probably Dick Cheney was running all this shit. 1.00

02:07:16.000 That's what he's saying! 1.00

02:07:18.000 He said Dick Cheney!

02:07:19.000 Cheney shot first.

02:07:20.000 Former head of the Star Wars program says Cheney, main 9-11 suspect.

02:07:24.000 Official version of events, a conspiracy theory, says drills were to cover for attacks.

02:07:30.000 Of course.

02:07:31.000 The drills were cover for attacks.

02:07:33.000 The former head of Star Wars missile defense program under Presidents Ford and Carter has gone public to say that the official version of the 9-11 is a conspiracy theory and his main suspect for the architect of the attacks is Vice President Dick Cheney.

02:07:46.000 Whoa! 1.00

02:07:47.000 That's fucking shit. 1.00

02:07:48.000 You get murdered over. 1.00

02:07:49.000 Wow. 0.79

02:07:49.000 People get murdered for way less. 0.79

02:07:52.000 Way less.

02:07:52.000 It is funny, though, that people don't want to hear that.

02:07:55.000 It is funny that this is something that would anger people.

02:07:58.000 Read about his background.

02:07:59.000 Is he legit?

02:08:00.000 Oh, yeah.

02:08:00.000 Is this a legit guy?

02:08:01.000 Yeah, he's 100% legit.

02:08:02.000 He was the head of Star Wars.

02:08:03.000 Star Wars is a very interesting program, and I think we've talked about this on the podcast before, but Star Wars scientists...

02:08:08.000 Have been murdered.

02:08:09.000 A great number of them.

02:08:11.000 Yeah.

02:08:12.000 I mean, here we go. 1.00

02:08:13.000 All the guys that deny the 9-11 shit. 1.00

02:08:15.000 The head of Star Wars is saying it was all bullshit. 1.00

02:08:19.000 The head of fucking Star Wars. 1.00

02:08:22.000 God damn it. 1.00

02:08:23.000 You're still going to deny it? 1.00

02:08:24.000 There's so much evidence.

02:08:26.000 But in all fairness, he's a scientist. 0.99

02:08:29.000 And he could be some crazy left-winger. 0.77

02:08:31.000 And just because he's a genius scientist doesn't mean he's not... 0.97

02:08:35.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:08:35.000 Yeah, but people always talk about credibility.

02:08:37.000 If they would say, if there was some guy on the street and said, I saw bombs, I heard bombs go off, they'd go, he's just some dude on the street.

02:08:44.000 Now we got former head of Star Wars, he could be crazy. 0.99

02:08:47.000 You can't just, at some point, you gotta go, goddammit. 0.95

02:08:50.000 At some point, you gotta go, of course it's fishy.

02:08:54.000 Of course there's people banding together.

02:08:58.000 22 Star Wars researchers all committed suicide.

02:09:03.000 22. All committed suicide?

02:09:05.000 Yeah.

02:09:05.000 Of course.

02:09:06.000 That's amazing. 0.99

02:09:07.000 Well, the thing was, the idea was, the conspiracy theory was, that the Star Wars program was bullshit. 0.96

02:09:15.000 And it never worked. 0.99

02:09:16.000 And they never had some real missile defense shield that they could shoot in space and knock fucking missiles out of the sky. 1.00

02:09:23.000 Of course that was bullshit. 0.99

02:09:24.000 They never developed that level of technology. 0.99

02:09:26.000 So they had to sort of hide the fact...

02:09:28.000 That it was a big giant money grab.

02:09:30.000 They tried to look into it. 0.99

02:09:31.000 Congress approved it or whoever the fuck approved it. 0.98

02:09:33.000 They look into it and then it just started stealing money. 0.99

02:09:36.000 So all these scientists that were involved in this that knew it was horseshit, they just knocked them all off.

02:09:42.000 That's the kind of money that you're dealing with. 0.99

02:09:44.000 You're dealing with the kind of money that can kill 22 researchers.

02:09:47.000 Allegedly.

02:09:48.000 Yeah.

02:09:49.000 Allegedly.

02:09:49.000 Sounds about right, right?

02:09:51.000 It's crazy.

02:09:52.000 Doesn't that sound totally believable?

02:09:54.000 The witnesses of the Kennedy assassination.

02:09:56.000 There's a new video that...

02:09:58.000 What is his nickname on YouTube?

02:10:01.000 MysticMaker37?

02:10:03.000 He's...

02:10:03.000 The Tangerine Show, or Tangerine Show, rather, on Twitter.

02:10:07.000 He made this video, and in the video, he talked...

02:10:10.000 It was a clip of us on the podcast talking about the witnesses to the Kennedy assassination.

02:10:16.000 And how many witnesses died because they were murdered, car accidents, electrocution, suicide, got hit by trains.

02:10:24.000 Like, a crazy amount of them died.

02:10:27.000 And there's a documentary about this?

02:10:29.000 Send me a link.

02:10:30.000 And they sent the...

02:10:31.000 Their calculation was that the odds of all of these people who had witnessed this one event get murdered or were killed in accidents in such a short period of time was one in something trillion to one. 1.00

02:10:44.000 Yeah, it's that shit over and over again. 1.00

02:10:48.000 Over and over again. 1.00

02:10:50.000 All that shit. 1.00

02:10:51.000 Nah, you guys are paranoid. 1.00

02:10:54.000 Yeah, it's a sexy idea, but Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

02:10:58.000 They've already proven he could shoot that rifle.

02:11:01.000 There's that certain sort of delusional, conservative, sort of patriot-type radio guy voice that they do, where... 0.95

02:11:09.000 You're talking nonsense.

02:11:11.000 They've all filled out the dossier.

02:11:13.000 It's all completed.

02:11:15.000 Sorry.

02:11:16.000 Sorry, hippies. 0.77

02:11:17.000 Sorry.

02:11:18.000 Okay?

02:11:18.000 Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

02:11:20.000 Thank you. 1.00

02:11:21.000 Yeah, it's scary shit, man. 0.99

02:11:23.000 But this is like a mindset they want to lock into. 1.00

02:11:26.000 It's like an ideology.

02:11:27.000 Ultimately, we figure out how much evidence would it take to take the biggest debunker dude How much evidence will it take?

02:11:39.000 If Dick Cheney came out and admitted it, they would go, no, Dick Cheney.

02:11:46.000 He lost his mind with that new heart. 0.99

02:11:48.000 That new heart's a liar's heart. 0.98

02:11:50.000 Yes, exactly. 1.00

02:11:51.000 People would believe that shit. 1.00

02:11:52.000 Of course they would. 1.00

02:11:53.000 A lot of people would.

02:11:54.000 Well, there's a lot of people that want to believe that the government's their daddy.

02:11:57.000 The government's going to take care of them.

02:11:58.000 I think if everyone consciously tried to make all their friends aware of the truth, look into it.

02:12:04.000 People are constantly, they're looking into it.

02:12:07.000 I think that's happening.

02:12:08.000 Yeah, like Javi Vasquez.

02:12:08.000 I was with him last week.

02:12:09.000 We were in El Paso doing a Gracie Nationals tournament.

02:12:13.000 And he just recently started looking into conspiracy theories and it's like changed his, he kept going on and on and how it's changed his life.

02:12:22.000 Changed his way of thinking.

02:12:23.000 Yeah, you just actually got to look into it, you know?

02:12:25.000 Well, people conspire.

02:12:27.000 I mean, people don't believe that.

02:12:28.000 This is my question that I always say.

02:12:30.000 Do you believe in 9-11?

02:12:31.000 Do you believe 9-11 happened?

02:12:32.000 Well, if you do, that's a conspiracy, isn't it?

02:12:37.000 Isn't it a conspiracy?

02:12:38.000 Didn't these guys conspire to make that happen?

02:12:40.000 Yeah.

02:12:41.000 Do you believe that the Japanese attacked World War II? They attacked Pearl Harbor?

02:12:45.000 Well, then you believe in conspiracy theories. 0.99

02:12:47.000 Because the Japanese conspired to sneak attack with jets and bomb the fuck out of people. 1.00

02:12:52.000 That's real. 0.99

02:12:53.000 Like, they really planned that out.

02:12:54.000 You know, do you believe that Hitler burned the Reichstag to get people to think that the Nazis were under attack?

02:13:00.000 Do you believe that Nero burned Rome? 0.92

02:13:02.000 Do you believe in any of these crazy...

02:13:03.000 Well, then you believe in conspiracies, man.

02:13:05.000 They're documented throughout history. 0.97

02:13:07.000 People have been conspiring and bullshitting forever, man.

02:13:11.000 They've always done it. 0.75

02:13:12.000 They always will.

02:13:13.000 If they can get away with it, they'll pull it off. 1.00

02:13:14.000 Bunch of evil fucks work together. 1.00

02:13:16.000 They know each other real well. 1.00

02:13:17.000 They partied together. 0.99

02:13:18.000 They killed hookers together. 1.00

02:13:19.000 And they get together and go, you know, why are we fucking playing by the rules here? 1.00

02:13:22.000 Let's just rob these bitches. 1.00

02:13:24.000 Let's rob these bitches. 1.00

02:13:25.000 And they all just touch knuckles and they go after it. 1.00

02:13:28.000 And they pay money to get lobbyists to change laws to make it easier for them to fucking move money around. 1.00

02:13:34.000 And they just keep that party rolling. 0.95

02:13:37.000 And they leave so much evidence lying around.

02:13:39.000 It doesn't matter.

02:13:40.000 It doesn't matter.

02:13:41.000 Well, in this day and age, I think it's starting to matter.

02:13:43.000 I think what's going on now with the internet is that young people are coming up with a realization of how the system works, a realization of just human life in general when I say the system.

02:13:52.000 A realization of countries and taking other countries' resources.

02:13:57.000 The people that are coming up, it's going to be way harder for the children of the people that live today to justify the way the world runs in the future because all this information will be out there.

02:14:08.000 Whereas when we were kids, when I was growing up in the 1970s, there was no information about any of this. 0.91

02:14:15.000 We never had any idea how the fucking world worked. 0.65

02:14:17.000 You had to go to a library if you wanted to get information, and you had to find the right book. 0.95

02:14:21.000 Who knows if that book is even right?

02:14:23.000 You could even fact check it. 0.97

02:14:24.000 It was difficult to find out what the fuck was going on.

02:14:27.000 But now pretty much anybody with a phone has instant access to almost any answer to any question they have, or at least to a reasonable extent. 0.92

02:14:36.000 That's going to change everything, man.

02:14:37.000 I think we're just seeing it right now.

02:14:39.000 We're the beginning of the wave.

02:14:40.000 I think the wave behind us is the wave that can't be ignored.

02:14:44.000 There's going to be a group of people that know everything.

02:14:47.000 They have all the information.

02:14:48.000 It's not like you're a regular person that lived in the 1970s, that went to school for a certain thing and then lived in a certain neighborhood.

02:14:55.000 No, you're going to be influenced by all the humans all over the planet all the time.

02:15:00.000 And that's what's going on right now with Twitter. 0.99

02:15:02.000 That's what's going on right now with this fucking podcast. 0.99

02:15:05.000 That's what's going on right now with Facebook. 0.98

02:15:06.000 That's what's going on right now with anybody that starts their own podcast and anybody that starts their own message board and anybody that starts their own thing where they're reaching out and communicating with people and other people lock into it.

02:15:18.000 Next thing you know, you got your own little online party going on, man.

02:15:23.000 You got your own little online party going on.

02:15:26.000 That's never existed.

02:15:27.000 No one has ever had that sort of an openness in the past before.

02:15:31.000 Open access to information in the past before.

02:15:34.000 We've never been able to just communicate with people like this.

02:15:36.000 So we're going to get to know each other more in the next hundred years than we have in the last million years. 0.95

02:15:41.000 We're going to get to know how we handle the real raw fucking truth of everything. 0.91

02:15:46.000 Because in a while, there's going to be no more secrets. 0.97

02:15:49.000 You're not going to be able to hide money.

02:15:51.000 You're not going to be able to hide where resources are coming from.

02:15:55.000 You're not going to be able to hide anything.

02:15:56.000 Everybody's going to know exactly what's going on all the time. 0.99

02:15:58.000 And that's when we're going to have to either get our shit together as a species or start using these fucking bombs we've been storing up. 0.99

02:16:06.000 It's one or the other. 0.99

02:16:10.000 When they see guys like Brian, they see this is part of the problem.

02:16:17.000 What are we talking about?

02:16:18.000 I don't know.

02:16:19.000 I'm talking about bad guys going after you to protect freedom.

02:16:24.000 Freedom.

02:16:25.000 Are you worried about terrorist attacks?

02:16:26.000 You ever think about it?

02:16:27.000 Anything could happen, bro.

02:16:28.000 They already did it.

02:16:29.000 Of course.

02:16:30.000 Yeah.

02:16:31.000 I mean, anything could happen.

02:16:32.000 Did they do it, really?

02:16:33.000 Or did it go down as the head of Star Wars says? 1.00

02:16:37.000 And there's a fucking Dick Cheney... 0.99

02:16:39.000 Who knows exactly how it went down? 1.00

02:16:41.000 Add that to the checklist.

02:16:43.000 I thought I'd shut it off, I swear to God, ladies and gentlemen.

02:16:45.000 We've been doing so many shows in the other studio.

02:16:47.000 I'm more concerned about bad sushi than I am about terrorism. 0.99

02:16:53.000 I had bad sushi and that ruined my fucking week. 0.98

02:16:57.000 But I think about that more than I think about like, oh no, this plane's gonna go down, you know, or... 0.99

02:17:03.000 I don't think people worry about that it's going to happen to them personally, the odds.

02:17:08.000 But another terrorist attack, for sure.

02:17:10.000 It's going to keep happening.

02:17:12.000 Brian, this is such a sheltered world.

02:17:14.000 I'm worried about bad sushi. 0.98

02:17:16.000 It's so silly. 0.54

02:17:18.000 And everybody gets food poisoning ever again. 0.99

02:17:20.000 That ain't shit. 0.95

02:17:20.000 I'm scared. 0.95

02:17:21.000 People in Iraq eat food poisoning for breakfast.

02:17:23.000 Okay?

02:17:24.000 That's what they have for breakfast.

02:17:26.000 Every day is food poisoning.

02:17:27.000 Shocked.

02:17:28.000 What are you going to do, man?

02:17:29.000 You're lucky.

02:17:29.000 You're lucky you live here in America.

02:17:31.000 You've got to roll the dice. 0.99

02:17:31.000 You're not living in fucking Tabool. 0.99

02:17:34.000 You're not living in Pakistan. 1.00

02:17:35.000 Liberia.

02:17:36.000 Launching missiles from the sky with drones.

02:17:39.000 See, Florida says they're going to have the most drones out of any state.

02:17:43.000 How crazy is that?

02:17:45.000 That's a reality.

02:17:47.000 It's a weird world we're living in, man.

02:17:48.000 What are these drones going to do again? 0.93

02:17:49.000 What are they going to keep track of?

02:17:50.000 They're going to film things, photograph things.

02:17:52.000 They're going to be in the sky in case we ever need them.

02:17:54.000 Like, say if there's some sort of a high-speed pursuit, the drones will be able to follow you from the sky.

02:17:59.000 And for sure, drones are going to be above you.

02:18:01.000 If you plan on doing any speeding, you can go kiss that, shake it by.

02:18:04.000 There's no more speeding.

02:18:05.000 Because there's going to be drones that are going to monitor your speed.

02:18:09.000 And then they're going to alert the police to where you are.

02:18:11.000 And the police are going to cut you off.

02:18:13.000 I can't wait until people start hacking these drones. 1.00

02:18:15.000 Because you know that shit's gonna happen. 1.00

02:18:17.000 Well, that's what happened in Iran. 1.00

02:18:19.000 They did hack it in Texas.

02:18:21.000 Yeah, they can hack them, man.

02:18:22.000 It's a real problem.

02:18:24.000 It's a radio frequency, man. 1.00

02:18:25.000 Some super genius dude who's smarter than you, who wouldn't be working for the government, is gonna figure out a way to fuck with that shit. 1.00

02:18:31.000 Yeah, those drones be acting a fool just a day after they release those things. 1.00

02:18:35.000 Yeah, I wonder how crackable they are, but I've got to assume that anything that's using radio frequency, you've got to be able to crack that.

02:18:44.000 They're going to figure out what the frequency is.

02:18:46.000 One drone's going to fall on a child, and then it's going to be...

02:18:49.000 Well, it already has in Pakistan.

02:18:51.000 If you're in Pakistan and you're walking with your kid, there's no guarantee that you're not going to get hit with a missile. 1.00

02:18:56.000 That's real. 0.99

02:18:57.000 They're fucking firing missiles from the sky. 0.98

02:18:59.000 And we're not even really officially over there. 0.99

02:19:01.000 Because we're not over there.

02:19:03.000 Our robots are over there.

02:19:04.000 Shooting fire from the sky. 1.00

02:19:07.000 What the fucking hell, man? 0.99

02:19:08.000 It's amazing where we are. 1.00

02:19:10.000 Yeah, Terminator is happening for them.

02:19:11.000 Yeah, when you were a kid, you remember watching Terminator?

02:19:14.000 You imagine watching the...

02:19:15.000 Which one was one where the things were flying in the air and they were shooting down?

02:19:19.000 Was that the first Terminator?

02:19:20.000 Terminator 2. Was it Judgment Day?

02:19:22.000 Is that what it was?

02:19:25.000 What's going on right now?

02:19:26.000 Blade Runner.

02:19:26.000 It's happening.

02:19:27.000 We're right in it.

02:19:28.000 There's drones. 1.00

02:19:29.000 There's fucking drones flying around. 1.00

02:19:31.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:19:32.000 That was pretty fucking quick. 1.00

02:19:33.000 They disappeared. 0.99

02:19:34.000 Yeah, they said there were going to be 30,000 of them in the country within 10 years.

02:19:38.000 What?

02:19:39.000 It's 50 states! 1.00

02:19:40.000 We need anonymous on that fucking case, right? 1.00

02:19:43.000 That's going to be a mess. 0.99

02:19:44.000 Well, they got rid of those traffic cameras.

02:19:46.000 Have you noticed that?

02:19:47.000 Those traffic cameras that take pictures of you going through the yellow light or red light?

02:19:51.000 They got rid of them?

02:19:52.000 Yeah, they got rid of them.

02:19:53.000 Because I think they're unconstitutional.

02:19:56.000 I think there's something about them that's illegal.

02:19:59.000 I think it's because it's a private company that put them up, and the private company somehow or another was profiting off of these people getting photographed, going through red lights, and someone questioned it.

02:20:12.000 I'm doing a terrible job of butchering the argument, or the story, rather.

02:20:17.000 But I think that's what happened. 0.99

02:20:19.000 Damn, he probably yawning on me. 0.99

02:20:21.000 No, man. 0.99

02:20:22.000 This is a very disjointed podcast today.

02:20:24.000 We really didn't get it together, ever.

02:20:26.000 Forever more than ten minutes at a time.

02:20:29.000 Next time, we've got to stop at like two hits.

02:20:31.000 I think two hits is good.

02:20:32.000 You know what?

02:20:33.000 That's what it was.

02:20:33.000 There was two joints.

02:20:34.000 We did smoke too much.

02:20:36.000 We went crazy deep.

02:20:37.000 I apologize.

02:20:38.000 Yeah.

02:20:40.000 Well, that's why I wasn't even upset at Brian for logging into the wrong thing.

02:20:45.000 The beginning part?

02:20:45.000 You were so stoned.

02:20:47.000 You didn't know what the fuck you were doing. 1.00

02:20:48.000 I didn't even know what was going on. 1.00

02:20:49.000 You silly bitch. 1.00

02:20:50.000 You didn't know what the fuck was going on. 1.00

02:20:53.000 Yeah, there's a certain level where you really shouldn't be talking into a microphone in front of thousands of people when you get high. 0.99

02:20:59.000 That was that level.

02:21:01.000 Right now, we're perfect.

02:21:02.000 Right now, we can cook with gas. 0.99

02:21:06.000 This fucking portal thing is so confusing to me. 0.99

02:21:09.000 All this space stuff is so confusing to me. 0.99

02:21:11.000 Because I keep wanting to be the skeptic.

02:21:14.000 I keep wanting to be the guy that's like, nothing's gonna happen.

02:21:17.000 Nothing's gonna happen.

02:21:19.000 Nothing's gonna happen.

02:21:20.000 Life's gonna be the same.

02:21:21.000 They'll discover a new planet.

02:21:22.000 You can't see it. 0.99

02:21:23.000 Who gives a fuck? 0.99

02:21:24.000 Nothing's gonna happen. 0.99

02:21:26.000 Okay, let's get video of that new planet and the creatures on it.

02:21:28.000 Let's have discovery channels about other planets.

02:21:32.000 Yeah. 0.85

02:21:32.000 I mean, how fucking cool. 0.85

02:21:33.000 Well, we're so impatient when it comes to discoveries and things. 0.88

02:21:38.000 We want it all to happen all at once.

02:21:41.000 When we look back in time at what Galileo had figured out or Copernicus had figured out, I mean, it's all stuff that pretty much everybody knows now, but back then it was this mind-blowing revelations about the nature of the universe.

02:21:55.000 Now, if you look at what we know now, our little baby asses know now, and what they're going to know, if we could just keep it together for a hundred years.

02:22:05.000 Just keep it together for 100 years. 0.99

02:22:06.000 Yeah, there's going to be some crazy shit going on. 0.99

02:22:08.000 Think about 1912. How much cock did it suck in 1912? 1.00

02:22:13.000 It was terrible. 1.00

02:22:15.000 The cars were dog shit. 1.00

02:22:16.000 If they even existed, they were dog shit. 1.00

02:22:18.000 You're riding around on dirt roads. 1.00

02:22:20.000 Everybody stinks.

02:22:21.000 But they thought it was cool.

02:22:22.000 They had cars for the first time. 1.00

02:22:23.000 They're like, holy shit. 0.98

02:22:25.000 This is the... 0.99

02:22:26.000 Exactly.

02:22:26.000 The most amazing part of life here.

02:22:28.000 We're at the edge of technology.

02:22:30.000 That's what people are going to think back about us in 2,000 years. 0.95

02:22:33.000 Like, oh, they didn't have hologram vaginas. 1.00

02:22:36.000 Well, I think it's going to be... 0.98

02:22:37.000 We're always looking for alien life.

02:22:39.000 And we're always saying, we can't search alien life.

02:22:41.000 I don't think we're ready yet. 0.96

02:22:43.000 And I think because we're not ready yet, because we're not really quite smart enough to tune in to whatever the fuck frequency they're on, wherever they are, because of that... 0.86

02:22:52.000 That's why there's no evidence, even though it makes sense.

02:22:56.000 I think we're going to come to a point at a certain time where if our technology expands and continues to expand, it's going to get to a point where there's no spot in the universe that we can't traverse.

02:23:07.000 I mean, ultimately, if people live for a million years, that's got to happen.

02:23:11.000 I mean, what we can do today is impossible.

02:23:14.000 What we can do in a thousand years from now is going to be equally impossible to us today. 0.94

02:23:19.000 You know, everything that's so normal, like Wi-Fi and cellular videos and texting people pictures of your butthole, you know, that... 0.86

02:23:27.000 Who does that? 0.97

02:23:27.000 I noticed I looked right at Brian when I did that. 0.97

02:23:29.000 Oh, you did that?

02:23:31.000 Think about a thousand years from now, you're going to have things that you can't even wrap your head around today.

02:23:38.000 It most likely will involve the manipulation of space and time.

02:23:41.000 We're going to probably, in a hundred years from now, have some ability to traverse long distances.

02:23:46.000 That seems possible.

02:23:48.000 If we can just get over a few technological humps, again, this is a hundred years from now.

02:23:55.000 I really think it's possible.

02:23:56.000 What do you know about the God particle they just kind of discovered or something?

02:23:59.000 It's very confusing.

02:24:03.000 They're 99.99% sure that they have recreated this particle based on its mass. 0.99

02:24:09.000 And they've discovered some incredible shit, man.

02:24:13.000 I mean, the whole idea behind it is really mind-blowing, but what's going on is they're tapping into the conditions and recreating the conditions that are like a millisecond after the Big Bang, and they're finding these parts of the universe that they had theorized about. 0.98

02:24:33.000 And one of them is this Higgs-Boson particle, this God particle. 0.97

02:24:37.000 It's fucking... 0.98

02:24:38.000 It's too hard for me to wrap my puny brain around it, but when I do, it's pretty staggering stuff if you stop and consider where we were in 1912 and where we are today and where we're going to be 2012 with this discovery of the Higgs-Boson, Boson, whatever the fuck... 0.99

02:24:56.000 How do you ever say it? 0.95

02:24:56.000 And whatever the fuck they're going to figure out within the next hundred years. 0.95

02:24:59.000 I mean, it's... 0.88

02:25:00.000 What does that mean to the average person?

02:25:03.000 I don't know.

02:25:03.000 That we discovered the God particle?

02:25:05.000 I don't know.

02:25:06.000 Nothing yet.

02:25:07.000 But it could mean everything.

02:25:08.000 Is the God particle dark matter?

02:25:11.000 Oh, no, no, no.

02:25:12.000 It's not dark matter.

02:25:13.000 Here, let's get a scientific explanation.

02:25:15.000 Let me pee really quick.

02:25:16.000 Okay.

02:25:16.000 We'll get a scientific explanation of it.

02:25:23.000 It's that C2O Coconut Water Sun.

02:25:25.000 Sun?

02:25:26.000 Yeah.

02:25:27.000 Note that we are in my place today.

02:25:29.000 The reason being is because Brian almost got cooked with electricity.

02:25:33.000 That's also why we don't have our Alienware laptops up.

02:25:37.000 But we are still supporting Alienware.

02:25:40.000 And, you know, Josh Barnett was very happy that we did that because they support fighters.

02:25:44.000 And that's why we chose to do it. 1.00

02:25:46.000 It's a big, giant-ass computer's If you're a gamer, they're the shit, man. 1.00

02:25:50.000 If you're a gamer... 0.99

02:25:51.000 If you're, like, a hardcore gamer, they're, like, the best computers you can get.

02:25:54.000 I've been doing the 3D one.

02:25:55.000 The 3D games.

02:25:56.000 Portal.

02:25:57.000 I've been playing on 3D. It's pretty sweet.

02:25:58.000 Yeah, the laptop is insane.

02:26:00.000 We got these... 1.00

02:26:01.000 You motherfuckers! 1.00

02:26:03.000 We got an 18... 1.00

02:26:04.000 He got an 18-inch, which is insane.

02:26:06.000 It's pretty much like an IMAX that you can fold up.

02:26:09.000 I got a 17-inch, and it's pretty cool, man.

02:26:12.000 The keyboards are all light up different colors.

02:26:16.000 It's huge resolution, and it's really smooth for playing gaming.

02:26:22.000 I'm pretty much using it just for gaming now.

02:26:23.000 Yeah, that's the only reason to use it.

02:26:25.000 I mean, they're monster computers.

02:26:26.000 If you're a hardcore gamer, and there's people like, you know, oh, Alienware is like super expensive, and they are.

02:26:31.000 It's not that bad.

02:26:32.000 It's not cheap, man.

02:26:33.000 Well, I guess I'm used to math prices.

02:26:34.000 Look, if you want a built-up computer, you know, it could be expensive, but that's just...

02:26:39.000 But not compared to Mac prices.

02:26:40.000 Mac's still pretty expensive, I realize.

02:26:42.000 Because I went to Alienware. 0.99

02:26:43.000 But it's high-quality shit. 0.99

02:26:45.000 I mean, that's why. 0.99

02:26:45.000 If you build it together yourself, you could probably build it for cheaper. 0.99

02:26:49.000 But I'm not building anything myself, man.

02:26:51.000 I'm a grown man.

02:26:52.000 It's not going to be cool like that.

02:26:53.000 Yeah.

02:26:53.000 It doesn't have that...

02:26:55.000 Well, those laptops are special. 0.96

02:26:56.000 Those are fucking cool items to have around. 0.97

02:27:00.000 But... 0.94

02:27:01.000 But the reason why we're not supported, we're not sponsored by Alienware.

02:27:05.000 We're supporting MMA. We're actually sponsored by a company called Punch...

02:27:10.000 What is it?

02:27:10.000 Punch Drunk?

02:27:10.000 Sucker Punch.

02:27:12.000 Sucker Punch Entertainment.

02:27:14.000 So that's where it's coming down from.

02:27:16.000 So they hooked us up with a deal on the Alienware computers.

02:27:18.000 And like I said, we try to support people that support MMA. And we try to support good companies, which is why I always talk about CTO, which is a fucking awesome coconut juice from Thailand. 0.86

02:27:29.000 And I got a new case that they just sent me that has pulp in it. 0.98

02:27:32.000 I haven't fucked with it yet. 0.98

02:27:33.000 I just got it today. 0.99

02:27:34.000 Do me a favor.

02:27:35.000 I'm going to do this live.

02:27:36.000 Do you have any CTO left in that one right there?

02:27:38.000 Yes.

02:27:39.000 I want you to take a sip of that.

02:27:40.000 I want you to take a sip of this.

02:27:42.000 I'm not drinking it after you drink.

02:27:43.000 Please, I'll wipe it off.

02:27:44.000 I'll wipe it off.

02:27:44.000 Not good enough.

02:27:45.000 Come on.

02:27:46.000 Hell no.

02:27:46.000 Sorry.

02:27:46.000 Just pour it into your mouth.

02:27:47.000 Stop.

02:27:48.000 Stop.

02:27:48.000 Don't want to do it.

02:27:49.000 Not happening.

02:27:50.000 Alright.

02:27:51.000 You want to be a woman. 1.00

02:27:52.000 Too much.

02:27:52.000 No, no.

02:27:52.000 This can feels weird to me.

02:27:54.000 Oh, you got a bad can you think?

02:27:55.000 I think so.

02:27:56.000 Oh, go get another one.

02:27:57.000 See if it tastes different.

02:27:58.000 I don't know.

02:27:59.000 I've never had a bad can from them.

02:28:00.000 Is that something that happens?

02:28:01.000 Maybe it's just you.

02:28:02.000 It's just your reaction.

02:28:03.000 It's warm too.

02:28:04.000 Do you like this better than that non-pasteurized?

02:28:08.000 Yeah.

02:28:09.000 Oh, it's warm.

02:28:10.000 You know what?

02:28:11.000 Because one of them was loose, which had been in my refrigerator for weeks, and the other one just got in the refrigerator right before the podcast started.

02:28:19.000 You just pull it out of that big package.

02:28:20.000 I just opened that case up in there.

02:28:22.000 See, that case is not cold yet.

02:28:24.000 This stuff is way better cold.

02:28:26.000 Way better cold, right?

02:28:27.000 Yeah.

02:28:27.000 Big difference.

02:28:28.000 It tastes like a completely different thing.

02:28:30.000 Yeah.

02:28:31.000 Apparently they say that it's from Thailand.

02:28:33.000 The Thailand coconuts are the most delicious and sweet when it comes to their coconut water. 0.93

02:28:37.000 But if you can get fresh coconut juice, like if you're near Whole Foods, it's super expensive, but god damn is it good.

02:28:45.000 It's delicious.

02:28:46.000 Fresh coconut juice where it hasn't been pasteurized or homogenized, it's just right out of the coconut.

02:28:50.000 But it doesn't last very long.

02:28:51.000 But man, if you get it.

02:28:52.000 There's a company called Press Juicery that I use.

02:28:55.000 They're great, man. 1.00

02:28:56.000 That's a good shit. 0.99

02:28:57.000 The press coconut juice is so delicious. 1.00

02:28:59.000 It's your brother.

02:29:02.000 We're turning to you for conversation.

02:29:04.000 We're going to Vegas this weekend.

02:29:07.000 We never even broke down Silva vs.

02:29:08.000 Sonnen.

02:29:10.000 I talked a little bit about it.

02:29:12.000 Do you think Anderson Silva is going to be a completely different fighter this fight? 0.98

02:29:17.000 I just don't fucking know. 0.97

02:29:19.000 He could be. 0.98

02:29:20.000 It was much easier to take down than I expected in the first fight.

02:29:26.000 That is like a guy who was injured.

02:29:28.000 He didn't want to try to stop the takedown.

02:29:30.000 Who knows?

02:29:31.000 Maybe he's impossible to take down at this point.

02:29:33.000 That could happen.

02:29:34.000 I don't know about that.

02:29:36.000 Maybe.

02:29:36.000 The whole thing's interesting.

02:29:38.000 When a guy fights injured, you just don't know.

02:29:40.000 And Anderson's not a guy who's ever said he...

02:29:42.000 He fought different than he ever fought before, and he's not the type of guy that makes excuses in the past.

02:29:47.000 Like, a lot of people don't know that he had double knee surgery just five weeks before he beat Travis Luter.

02:29:53.000 That's what his manager told me.

02:29:56.000 He told me.

02:29:57.000 I mean, that's a crazy thing, what he did.

02:29:59.000 He fought Travis Luter like...

02:30:01.000 Right when you're supposed to not even be back to training again.

02:30:05.000 Five weeks in.

02:30:07.000 So a guy who's willing to do that and not tell anybody, he did beat Travis Luter a lot easier and more convincingly than he beat Jell Sonnen though.

02:30:15.000 Who knows?

02:30:16.000 Who knows how much it really bothered him, but he won.

02:30:19.000 The bottom line is he figured out a way to win.

02:30:21.000 And that's why it gets interesting.

02:30:23.000 Because if he's healthy now, and he doesn't have any injuries, will he be able to stop the shot now?

02:30:30.000 Will it be an easier fight for him? 0.99

02:30:32.000 Or will it be the same fucking thing? 0.99

02:30:34.000 You can't stop that power dunk. 0.99

02:30:35.000 Maybe Sonnen takes him down.

02:30:37.000 Maybe it's hard, maybe it's easy, but he takes him down and his passing is getting better.

02:30:41.000 What if he passes and He might be trying to blow up Chael, but he says that he thinks that Chael has the ability to finish Anderson, and I believe it. 0.91

02:30:56.000 Any wrestler at that caliber has the ability to squeeze a neck.

02:31:01.000 They just got to focus on it just a little bit.

02:31:03.000 You focus on it. 1.00

02:31:03.000 If you just focused on arm triangles and rear naked chokes and a guillotine, just keep polishing that shit every day. 1.00

02:31:09.000 Just keep drilling it. 1.00

02:31:10.000 Slowly becoming dangerous with just those three.

02:31:13.000 And of course, you got to get really good at passing.

02:31:15.000 Passing the guard is just as important as taking a guy down.

02:31:18.000 You got to get really good at passing.

02:31:19.000 You can't pass the guard.

02:31:21.000 Man, all you have is ground and pound and dudes nullify that pretty easily now.

02:31:27.000 It seems like he's passing.

02:31:28.000 In the past few fights, his passing is looking good.

02:31:32.000 He got an arm trying.

02:31:34.000 Well, he controlled Bisping on the ground too, which is really hard to do.

02:31:37.000 Bisping is very good defensively off his back.

02:31:40.000 You know, Chael wasn't able to submit him, but he controlled him for quite a while on the ground.

02:31:43.000 But what he did with Brian Stan was really impressive.

02:31:46.000 He smushed that guy. 1.00

02:31:48.000 You look at that, that's like some serious pressure.

02:31:50.000 His arm triangle is super legit.

02:31:53.000 Brian Stan was defending the right way, too, but it was for no, it didn't matter.

02:31:56.000 He squeezes too hard.

02:31:58.000 When you get a good one of those things, when a guy really develops a good one, when they really get a feel for it, especially when they were a big wrestler like a Chael Sonnen guy who already has like a sick squeeze and a sick top game and a sick balance and just knows how to crush things down, they lock on to one technique like that, man.

02:32:14.000 They become so dangerous.

02:32:15.000 Even when you're defending, you still can get submitted. 1.00

02:32:19.000 It just crushes your fucking head. 1.00

02:32:21.000 You know, if that guy gets a hold of your head and arm, you're done, son. 1.00

02:32:24.000 You're done. 0.99

02:32:26.000 It's amazing how dudes like Cody McKenzie, they just lock onto one fucking technique and get so laser sharp at it. 0.99

02:32:32.000 They pull it off on everybody, even though dudes know they're trying to pull it off. 0.99

02:32:36.000 They got obsessed with it.

02:32:37.000 They put a lot of numbers in.

02:32:38.000 That could happen with any technique.

02:32:40.000 He just focused on that. 1.00

02:32:41.000 Cody McKenzie's fucking guillotine. 1.00

02:32:43.000 It's ridiculous. 1.00

02:32:44.000 It's ridiculous. 0.99

02:32:45.000 I've never seen a guy, what does he have like 11 wins by guillotine now? 0.96

02:32:48.000 Something like that.

02:32:49.000 It's incredible.

02:32:50.000 Incredible.

02:32:51.000 Always chokes with the same arm. 0.92

02:32:53.000 Same thing with Marcelo.

02:32:54.000 He always chokes with his right arm.

02:32:55.000 It's amazing.

02:32:57.000 Yeah, I'm still sad that Marcelo never got back into MMA. He had one fight where he got cut, and he had a hard time using the gloves.

02:33:07.000 He had a hard time strangling a guy with those gloves on. 0.99

02:33:10.000 I guess it makes a big goddamn difference. 0.98

02:33:12.000 Yeah, and then the grease, too. 0.97

02:33:13.000 You gotta get used to that.

02:33:14.000 There's a big difference between gi and no gi, and then there's a big difference between rash guard and no rash guard.

02:33:19.000 Yeah, that's right.

02:33:20.000 There's a big difference.

02:33:21.000 It's true.

02:33:22.000 It's not the same thing.

02:33:23.000 It's way more slippy.

02:33:24.000 That's a good point, man.

02:33:25.000 Yeah.

02:33:25.000 Do you think that, like, when you see guys in Abu Dhabi and things along those lines, do you think that they should be able to wear pants?

02:33:33.000 Absolutely.

02:33:33.000 Do you think they should be able to wear Aoki style?

02:33:35.000 Well, in Abu Dhabi, you can wear pants.

02:33:37.000 You can wear gi pants?

02:33:38.000 You can wear anything you want.

02:33:39.000 You can wear a gi if you want it.

02:33:41.000 Really?

02:33:41.000 Yeah, you can wear anything in Abu Dhabi.

02:33:42.000 And can your opponent grab that gi?

02:33:45.000 You know what?

02:33:46.000 There's some tournaments out there that have ridiculous rules. 1.00

02:33:51.000 It's just the most ignorant shit out there. 1.00

02:33:54.000 It's amazing that it still exists. 1.00

02:33:55.000 Some tournaments, they allow you to wear gi pants in a no-gi tournament. 0.67

02:33:59.000 But your opponent can grab them and control them, but you can't grab and control shorts.

02:34:04.000 I say, yeah, let him control the pants, but why can't I grab his shorts if he's grabbing my pants?

02:34:10.000 Just because his pants are shorter, it makes zero sense.

02:34:15.000 If you're going to allow someone to grab pants, you should be able to grab shorts.

02:34:18.000 Or don't allow it at all.

02:34:19.000 Don't allow grabbing anything.

02:34:21.000 It just seems weird if you have pants on and you have a gi on, you're allowed to grab it.

02:34:27.000 But if you just both are wearing shorts, you're not allowed to grab it. 0.78

02:34:29.000 It's ridiculous.

02:34:31.000 It gets tricky. 1.00

02:34:31.000 Yeah, it's stupid shit like that. 1.00

02:34:33.000 Do you think that everybody should have to fight just skin on skin, just valetudo shorts and that's it? 1.00

02:34:37.000 No, I think you should be able to wear anything you want.

02:34:39.000 I like the way the Japanese ran it.

02:34:41.000 If you want to come in with an aikido gi, let them come in with an aikido gi.

02:34:44.000 What happens is that the boxing people that made all these rules, they didn't understand exactly what was going on with jiu-jitsu.

02:34:54.000 They thought, we're not going to give anybody an unfair advantage, so we're going to take away the gi because people, they saw Hoist choking out Ken Shamrock with this collar. 0.54

02:35:04.000 Or with a sleeve.

02:35:05.000 But really, in Japan, you can wear anything you want, and if the pants were that dangerous, all the Brazilians would be wearing pants. 0.93

02:35:12.000 How come no Brazilians are wearing pants except for hoists? 0.95

02:35:15.000 The pants aren't dangerous.

02:35:18.000 What they do is... 0.99

02:35:19.000 Try to even out the playing field because people are wearing fucking Vaseline. 0.99

02:35:26.000 People are Vaseline. 0.99

02:35:27.000 Fighters are always greasing themselves up.

02:35:29.000 Strikers, are you kidding? 1.00

02:35:30.000 They don't want to go out there and get strangled.

02:35:32.000 They're all putting on grease the night before.

02:35:35.000 You really think they're all greasing?

02:35:36.000 Not all.

02:35:37.000 A lot though.

02:35:37.000 Not all, but a lot.

02:35:38.000 How are they doing it?

02:35:39.000 What do you think is the most common way they do it?

02:35:43.000 This is what I've heard.

02:35:45.000 They'll take cocoa butter and sleep with it. 1.00

02:35:49.000 And then wash it off the next morning so your skin appears to be dry.

02:35:53.000 And then when you start sweating, it comes out of your pores. 0.99

02:35:56.000 That's, you know, if you're fighting a leg lock wizard, you're going to shave your fucking legs and grease up, you know? 0.98

02:36:01.000 And not only that, not only that, another thing that came from boxing that's, what's up with all the Vaseline all over people's faces? 0.98

02:36:08.000 You don't think that gets all over their bodies?

02:36:11.000 A lot of times people get accused of greasing.

02:36:14.000 Well, Anderson is in fights, wiped it off his face and under his chest.

02:36:17.000 Well, whether you do that or not, When you're fighting and you're grappling, dude's touching your face, touching your chin, then he's touching your arm.

02:36:24.000 These guys have Vaseline all over their body by the end of the fight.

02:36:29.000 So that's an unfair advantage to a striker.

02:36:33.000 It's harder to get submissions.

02:36:35.000 We should be pushing to get more submissions.

02:36:39.000 In professional football, they push for more offense. 0.98

02:36:42.000 They change rules and adjust shit for more offense. 0.83

02:36:46.000 Same thing in Right, so what you're saying is that if they wore, just allowed to wear rash guards, that would basically even up all the problems that we have with grease. 0.97

02:36:54.000 If you want to.

02:36:55.000 You don't have to if you want to. 0.99

02:36:57.000 Some people don't want to wear shit, because remember, in Japan you could wear anything you want, and what the jujitsu guys chose to wear is little tiny shorts. 0.99

02:37:05.000 Except hois. 0.99

02:37:06.000 Hois eventually went to pants. 0.91

02:37:08.000 Yes.

02:37:09.000 No pants top, but pants on the bottom.

02:37:10.000 But then he ended up fighting MMA with shorts.

02:37:12.000 No pants top.

02:37:13.000 When he fought Matt Hughes, that was once.

02:37:15.000 That was against...

02:37:15.000 Well, they didn't allow him to wear anything else.

02:37:17.000 Yeah, totally.

02:37:18.000 When he fought Matt Hughes.

02:37:19.000 The fact that karate pants or gi pants are not allowed, or tights, like the way Aoki wears tights, it's counterproductive for the sport.

02:37:29.000 It would be a good way to counteract the idea that everybody's greasy.

02:37:35.000 Yeah, it's just...

02:37:37.000 People are greasy.

02:37:38.000 And if they're not, they got Vaseline all over their face.

02:37:40.000 It's going to get all over their body.

02:37:42.000 And it makes it harder.

02:37:43.000 All that Vaseline all over your face makes it harder to pull off submissions.

02:37:47.000 Late in the fight, you mix that Vaseline with sweat and blood.

02:37:51.000 It would be like banning tights.

02:37:55.000 Would be like banning wide receivers wearing gloves in like rainy days or snowy days.

02:38:01.000 They let them wear gloves so they could catch the ball more offense. 0.94

02:38:05.000 More drop balls means shitty play. 0.89

02:38:08.000 People get bored. 0.97

02:38:08.000 They want more high scoring. 0.97

02:38:10.000 Right, but that's not a person.

02:38:12.000 A ball's not a person.

02:38:13.000 The problem is the idea is that someone should be able to have the best defense possible with two men with bare skin.

02:38:18.000 Yeah.

02:38:18.000 If all of a sudden one guy's wearing some sticky clothes and a lot of you get a hold of.

02:38:21.000 But it's okay.

02:38:22.000 The amateurs in California, they let them wear rash guards.

02:38:25.000 It's no problem.

02:38:26.000 Really?

02:38:26.000 Yeah.

02:38:27.000 In the amateurs, you wear rash guards.

02:38:28.000 It's no problem.

02:38:29.000 I predict it would change the game.

02:38:31.000 Female MMA fighters wear rash guards. 0.67

02:38:34.000 How is that okay?

02:38:35.000 It's unfortunate.

02:38:36.000 Yeah, totally.

02:38:37.000 But how is that okay?

02:38:39.000 They have an unfair advantage.

02:38:41.000 You should be allowed to wear rash guards.

02:38:44.000 I mean, it works in female MMA. We should allow it in the pros, too. 1.00

02:38:48.000 What's the big deal?

02:38:49.000 It's just a rash guard.

02:38:50.000 It'd be nice.

02:38:50.000 People would come in with like tights and they look like a little superhero characters.

02:38:54.000 It'd be cool like Aoki was just as famous for the different crazy pants he wore as he was for his fighting.

02:38:59.000 I'm down for tights The only problem that I would have with the gi is that you can use the gi as a weapon. 0.65

02:39:04.000 You could Ezekiel choke the fuck out of somebody and that doesn't feel right.

02:39:07.000 Yes, but again, in Pride, they allowed that, but there's way more cons to pros to wearing gis. 0.91

02:39:15.000 As far as the gis experts, the gis experts said, you know what, yeah, I could choke you out with my sleeve, but dude can choke me out with my own collar, so it's not even worth it.

02:39:24.000 Do you remember when Yoshida fought Hoist?

02:39:28.000 Yeah.

02:39:28.000 Yoshida fought Hoist, and he said he was out, and he wasn't out.

02:39:31.000 He lied, totally made up the fact that he was out.

02:39:33.000 He's not even barely choking him. 1.00

02:39:35.000 Hoist's foot was up and shit. 0.99

02:39:37.000 There was no way he could have been out. 0.99

02:39:39.000 He was holding his foot up.

02:39:41.000 He's out, he's out. 0.99

02:39:42.000 And then Reverie stops, and Hoist's like, what the fuck are you doing? 0.98

02:39:45.000 I ain't out! 0.99

02:39:46.000 They totally bamboozled him.

02:39:48.000 Yeah, there's a lot of tomfoolery going on in Japan. 1.00

02:39:51.000 And that was with Agui.

02:39:53.000 You know, he was wrapping him up in a gi, supposedly.

02:39:56.000 But again, if it was an advantage to wear a gi, all the Brazilians coming over and fighting in pride, they'd all be wearing gis and gi pants. 0.92

02:40:05.000 You know what I mean?

02:40:06.000 It's not an advantage.

02:40:07.000 It's amazing that Hoist chose to fight like that, though.

02:40:10.000 But then when you watch, like, Hickson's fights with Zulu.

02:40:12.000 He never wore a gi.

02:40:13.000 He wore little tight shorts.

02:40:14.000 Yeah.

02:40:15.000 Interesting.

02:40:16.000 In the long run, the gi is a disadvantage.

02:40:18.000 That's what the Brazilians are saying.

02:40:19.000 By not wearing it, they're making that statement.

02:40:22.000 Yeah, that's kind of crazy when you stop and think about it.

02:40:24.000 There's this ancient outfit that people wear, you know, they've been wearing for how long?

02:40:29.000 A thousand years?

02:40:30.000 Who knows?

02:40:31.000 How many years have martial artists been wearing a gi, you know?

02:40:34.000 Or in Taekwondo, they call it a dobok, you know?

02:40:38.000 And I don't know, what is it called?

02:40:40.000 Kimono?

02:40:40.000 Is that what the Portuguese like to call it?

02:40:42.000 The Brazilians? 0.84

02:40:42.000 I think that's a Japanese word. 0.84

02:40:44.000 Yes, but they use the word kimono as well, right?

02:40:46.000 Yeah.

02:40:47.000 Japanese, definitely call it kimono. 1.00

02:40:48.000 But that's what the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu guys refer to it, right?

02:40:52.000 Yeah.

02:40:53.000 Yeah, we didn't accept kimono.

02:40:55.000 We took gi.

02:40:55.000 Isn't that weird?

02:40:56.000 When it got over here, it became a gi. 0.84

02:40:58.000 It went from being kimono to the Brazilian.

02:41:00.000 Japanese kimono, Brazilian kimono, gi.

02:41:04.000 And the Brazilians didn't call it gi?

02:41:06.000 I don't know.

02:41:07.000 I think Americans don't. 0.52

02:41:08.000 Americans very rarely call it kimonos. 0.99

02:41:10.000 And when they do, you know they're a serious jujitsu dork.

02:41:13.000 You know, if somebody asks you, what brand kimono do you wear? 0.99

02:41:15.000 Oh, you serious jujitsu dork. 0.72

02:41:18.000 Some dudes just get so caught up in jujitsu, man. 0.97

02:41:22.000 It's just like, it's so much fun. 0.99

02:41:23.000 When you first start tapping guys, it becomes so much fun that some guys just completely lose their shit and just dive into it. 0.99

02:41:31.000 Yeah, I was a jujitsu fucking fan. 1.00

02:41:33.000 Freak. 0.99

02:41:33.000 I was thinking about getting, one of those Americans, they're so into it. 0.99

02:41:36.000 I love Brazil, went to Brazil in 2000, again in 2003. I fucking love anything Brazilian. 0.94

02:41:43.000 Anytime a Brazilian was fighting an MMA, he could be fighting a Mexican. 1.00

02:41:47.000 I don't give a shit. 0.99

02:41:47.000 I'm going for the Brazilian. 0.99

02:41:49.000 I'm, oh, I was so hardcore.

02:41:50.000 I would've got a tattoo of a Brazilian flag on my back with that Odemi progresso thing on it. 1.00

02:41:55.000 I would have considered that shit. 1.00

02:41:57.000 That is a dope. 1.00

02:41:57.000 That was hardcore. 1.00

02:41:59.000 Dope logo.

02:42:00.000 What does that mean?

02:42:01.000 What does that mean?

02:42:02.000 Odeme e Progresso.

02:42:04.000 My guess is Oath, Promise to Progress.

02:42:09.000 I don't know.

02:42:10.000 Something like that.

02:42:10.000 Fun country, man.

02:42:11.000 They're the only country that shuts down for a month to party.

02:42:15.000 Yeah, it's beautiful, man.

02:42:16.000 People down there are really fun.

02:42:18.000 I really enjoy doing the UFCs down there.

02:42:21.000 The audiences are like nothing you've ever seen in your life.

02:42:25.000 In between fights, they were doing the wave and screaming and cheering.

02:42:29.000 I mean, the level of passion that the Brazilian fans have...

02:42:32.000 No one's close.

02:42:34.000 No one is close.

02:42:35.000 Not Americans. 1.00

02:42:36.000 We've been everywhere. 1.00

02:42:38.000 We've been fucking everywhere. 0.89

02:42:39.000 No one's close. 0.97

02:42:40.000 No one's close.

02:42:40.000 Brazilians smash everybody with loyalty, celebration.

02:42:47.000 Singing.

02:42:48.000 Yeah.

02:42:49.000 Even in jujitsu tournaments.

02:42:50.000 I went to Brazil in 2000 for the Worlds.

02:42:53.000 And it wasn't at like a giant place.

02:42:56.000 It was kind of like at an old beat-up kind of arena.

02:42:58.000 Like a mini beat-up arena.

02:43:00.000 It wasn't that great. 1.00

02:43:03.000 And those motherfuckers had drums and shit. 1.00

02:43:06.000 They had all these chants. 1.00

02:43:07.000 It was like a high school gym, and they were going nuts.

02:43:10.000 They would have crushed cheerleaders. 1.00

02:43:11.000 They would have fucked them up. 0.99

02:43:13.000 Do you remember when we were in Abu Dhabi, and they started singing in the middle, like Jacare was fighting, and someone started... 0.97

02:43:20.000 They got songs, man.

02:43:22.000 Yeah.

02:43:22.000 They're singing and pounding on the tables or the chairs like drums.

02:43:27.000 I mean, it's amazing, man.

02:43:29.000 They got into it to the point where it was like...

02:43:31.000 It was like you were privileged to be there.

02:43:35.000 You didn't know that there was a place like this.

02:43:36.000 You didn't know that this was something that was going on out there in the world. 0.99

02:43:40.000 You're watching these badass jiu-jitsu guys fight, and then these Brazilian guys are singing and dancing in the fucking crowds. 1.00

02:43:47.000 And do you think it's a coincidence that Brazil, maybe the only country or the only country part of the UN, I don't know exactly, but Brazil is super rare in that they go against UN drug policies and make ayahuasca legal. 0.95

02:44:02.000 It's legal there. 0.86

02:44:04.000 I mean, I hear that in Brazil, and I could be wrong, but I saw this in the documentary, it could be bullshit, but a lot of people give... 0.97

02:44:12.000 There's an ayahuasca Christian religion that's kind of like a mesh of both, and they give ayahuasca to babies. 0.96

02:44:21.000 They give ayahuasca when you're 14 to prevent alcoholism.

02:44:26.000 Somehow, if you have ayahuasca in your system before alcohol...

02:44:31.000 Or maybe even after, in some way, it does something to your brain.

02:44:36.000 Or somehow, spiritually, I don't know.

02:44:38.000 But it keeps you from being an alcoholic. 0.86

02:44:40.000 A waste case. 1.00

02:44:41.000 And Brazil's like, fuck it. 1.00

02:44:43.000 Ayahuasca is legal, bitch. 1.00

02:44:45.000 And who parties harder than Brazil? 1.00

02:44:48.000 Who celebrates more than Brazil? 1.00

02:44:50.000 Those guys are fucking insane. 1.00

02:44:52.000 I'm sure it has to have some impact. 1.00

02:44:53.000 But marijuana's illegal there.

02:44:55.000 It's really illegal.

02:44:57.000 It's not good at all.

02:44:58.000 Gotta be...

02:45:01.000 But it is illegal, but a lot of Brazilian jiu-jitsu players, they smoke weed.

02:45:07.000 It's very popular in jiu-jitsu.

02:45:09.000 But it's like you've got to have to deal with some people that are selling illegal drugs. 0.99

02:45:14.000 And the weed is shit down there too. 0.99

02:45:16.000 I think South America just... 1.00

02:45:18.000 All together as shit weed. 1.00

02:45:19.000 It's unfortunate. 1.00

02:45:20.000 It's ridiculous.

02:45:21.000 And it's hopefully one day. 0.86

02:45:24.000 I mean, can you imagine if Brazil had medical marijuana?

02:45:26.000 Oh my God. 0.99

02:45:27.000 If Brazil had legalized weed on top of the way they rock it right now, on top of the greatest crowds of all time, on top of the most insane beaches, you look out and see islands and shit, dudes are selling coconuts. 0.99

02:45:38.000 If they had weed for free too, I mean legal weed, it would be the most ridiculous country of all time. 0.98

02:45:44.000 It's weird how cultures just grow up. 0.99

02:45:47.000 A lot of it is depending on how bad where you live sucks. 0.91

02:45:50.000 You couldn't have a lifestyle like Brazil if you lived in Iceland. 1.00

02:45:53.000 Like, bitch, you've got to go out and kill a whale. 1.00

02:45:55.000 We're going to freeze to death. 1.00

02:45:57.000 We need some food.

02:45:58.000 We need to batten down the hatches.

02:46:00.000 We need to...

02:46:00.000 Not in Brazil.

02:46:01.000 You don't have to batten down the hatches.

02:46:02.000 It's awesome out.

02:46:04.000 Even in the winter, it's awesome.

02:46:06.000 So what do they do? 1.00

02:46:07.000 They fucking party. 1.00

02:46:08.000 It's totally cool. 1.00

02:46:09.000 It's totally Brazilian and totally cool not to be on a strict schedule.

02:46:14.000 They love to say, hey, when you're in Brazil, Higg and Machado told me this when I went to Brazil the first time.

02:46:21.000 We kept telling him, we got to do this, we're going to do that.

02:46:23.000 He goes, relax.

02:46:25.000 In Brazil, there is no time.

02:46:26.000 There's no time in Brazil. 0.99

02:46:28.000 I'm like, whoa, these guys do whatever the fuck they want to do whenever they want to do it. 0.98

02:46:32.000 It's all about having fun. 0.98

02:46:33.000 There's a dude that I met down there that was, I think he's a Machado black belt. 0.78

02:46:38.000 I forget his name.

02:46:39.000 I apologize.

02:46:40.000 But he was telling me that he moved back there in the late 90s.

02:46:44.000 He moved in Brazil and just started living there.

02:46:47.000 And he just loved it.

02:46:49.000 And he said the one thing that you've got to get used to, though, is when you need something fixed, good luck.

02:46:55.000 You need a dude to show up at your house at a certain time.

02:46:58.000 Well, he might show up, you know. 0.99

02:47:00.000 But, you know, shit happens. 0.98

02:47:02.000 I remember in the early 90s when jiu-jitsu blew up because of Hoist Gracie, because of the UFC, a lot of Brazilians started fucking making the move and opening up shop and taking territories. 0.99

02:47:13.000 Enzo went to New York. 0.66

02:47:15.000 Half went to San Francisco.

02:47:17.000 Machados went to Southern California.

02:47:18.000 Corian, Southern California.

02:47:19.000 Everyone was just like, it was like the gold rush for Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

02:47:23.000 Yeah, everybody came here, right?

02:47:24.000 I mean, think about how many high-level jiu-jitsu schools are in California.

02:47:28.000 Hell yeah, they're all coming to California.

02:47:29.000 It's nuts.

02:47:30.000 They're all coming, and Miami, you know?

02:47:32.000 Yeah, they want that nice weather.

02:47:34.000 They want the nice weather, they want the surfing.

02:47:35.000 But they still go to Toronto.

02:47:37.000 Brazilians are loxters, man. 1.00

02:47:38.000 They'll fucking relocate to Toronto. 0.99

02:47:40.000 Well, yeah, there's some spots that are wide open, but, you know, you really want to open shop in Wisconsin or something, you know? 0.98

02:47:45.000 Maine, right.

02:47:45.000 They hang for a while.

02:47:47.000 Even Salo and Shandy, they went to Ohio for a while.

02:47:50.000 But there's only so much a Brazilian could do in Ohio. 1.00

02:47:55.000 So they said, fuck it. 1.00

02:47:56.000 They came to San Diego. 1.00

02:47:59.000 What's his name?

02:48:01.000 Napal, Gabriel Gonzaga.

02:48:02.000 He's in Western Massachusetts, man. 0.99

02:48:05.000 It's cold as fuck out there. 0.99

02:48:07.000 Western Massachusetts is a big difference. 1.00

02:48:09.000 Because Marcelo went to New York, and then he went to Florida, and he said, fuck it. 0.99

02:48:13.000 He don't like The weather in Florida. 1.00

02:48:15.000 He went back.

02:48:16.000 He loves New York, man.

02:48:17.000 Well, New York is...

02:48:18.000 If you're a thinking person, and Marcel is a thinking person, New York is much more stimulating.

02:48:23.000 More stimulating people. 0.99

02:48:24.000 Florida is nice and everything like that, but goddamn, the mean intelligence level in Florida... 0.99

02:48:29.000 Henzo owns fucking New York, though. 1.00

02:48:31.000 Henzo fucking owns New York, dude. 1.00

02:48:33.000 He is the godfather. 0.99

02:48:35.000 He's like John Gotti of jiu-jitsu there, man. 1.00

02:48:37.000 He owns that shit. 1.00

02:48:38.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:48:39.000 He's got... 1.00

02:48:41.000 A ridiculous number of students. 0.78

02:48:43.000 And he's making some serious bank, man.

02:48:45.000 And he's one of the nicest guys on the planet.

02:48:49.000 You know what I mean?

02:48:50.000 He's on Twitter all the time, just spreading positivity.

02:48:54.000 Is Marcelo on Twitter?

02:48:55.000 Yeah, he's on Twitter.

02:48:56.000 Not as much as Henzo.

02:48:58.000 Henzo's on Twitter.

02:48:59.000 I'm like, isn't it like 5 in the morning in New York right now and he's still just Twittering? 0.99

02:49:04.000 All just positive shit. 0.98

02:49:06.000 Henzo is just positive, positive, positive. 0.99

02:49:08.000 Where are they?

02:49:10.000 How far away are they from each other?

02:49:11.000 Henzo School and Marcelo School?

02:49:13.000 They're really close.

02:49:14.000 They're both in Manhattan.

02:49:14.000 Really close.

02:49:15.000 But Marcelo also has a very successful school, too.

02:49:19.000 But Henzo, I think...

02:49:20.000 Henzo.

02:49:21.000 He's been around forever, Henzo.

02:49:22.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:49:23.000 Marcelo's much more recent.

02:49:24.000 But Marcelo has that Josh Waitzkin dude, that chess wizard that was...

02:49:29.000 Yep, yep.

02:49:29.000 I met him last time I was in New York.

02:49:31.000 Really cool guy, yeah.

02:49:32.000 I exchanged some emails with him. 0.97

02:49:33.000 All Marcelo's guys are fucking so cool. 0.70

02:49:35.000 He's the guy that they based the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer. 0.95

02:49:39.000 Yep, yep.

02:49:40.000 And he was a chess genius, spent all his life doing that, and then he got into martial arts and initially got into kung fu.

02:49:45.000 And then I think he was doing push hands, like those push hands competitions.

02:49:49.000 And then he got into jiu-jitsu and fell in love with it and started breaking moves down sort of the same way in a disciplined approach, the way he learned to play chess, you know, because they learned to, like, think of moves and chains and regressions.

02:50:01.000 And so he broke it down as a discipline, you know, and made that MG in Action website.

02:50:08.000 And he's got all the different techniques... 0.59

02:50:11.000 And you have that same shit going on too at 10thplanetjujitsu.com, right? 0.56

02:50:16.000 You can go there and you have it set up where you have all the different moves and techniques. 0.91

02:50:20.000 And someone doesn't even have to train here. 0.98

02:50:23.000 They can learn your shit online and then bring it to a local jiu-jitsu gym and practice it. 0.97

02:50:28.000 I release episodes of the show called Mastering the System. 0.99

02:50:32.000 I release one every few weeks.

02:50:34.000 And it has every technique that I teach at my school.

02:50:36.000 I put it up online for $4.99.

02:50:38.000 So...

02:50:39.000 Yeah, it's an amazing resource for someone who lives somewhere, like say if you're stuck somewhere and they don't have any high-level jiu-jitsu, you can get together with your friends and you can start a club.

02:50:49.000 You could get a certain amount of people and maybe they have mats at the YMCA. When I was a kid, the YMCA had mats.

02:50:56.000 You could set some mats up and you could start a club.

02:50:59.000 There's so many guys out there, so many run-ins.

02:51:01.000 They're getting two or three of their friends, putting mats in their garage, and studying Marcelo.

02:51:06.000 You can study the Mendez brothers, study Edgar Vau. 0.98

02:51:10.000 You can get mastering the system, put it all together, and have some fucking fun.

02:51:15.000 And then they'll take trips sometimes. 0.91

02:51:16.000 A lot of these guys will come in, and they'll train in Manhattan for a week.

02:51:20.000 That's what George St. Pierre did when he was young.

02:51:22.000 Went to Henzo's and trained there, or they'll go to We're in Burbank now, folks.

02:51:28.000 If you were looking for...

02:51:30.000 Legends went under due to unforeseeable circumstances.

02:51:34.000 So if you want to learn some 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu, you have to go to our 10th Planet Burbank location.

02:51:39.000 Burbank?

02:51:40.000 Which is on Burbank Boulevard.

02:51:41.000 What is the exact address?

02:51:43.000 4130 West Burbank Boulevard.

02:51:44.000 And it's the Blue Dragon Martial Arts Academy.

02:51:47.000 If you see the Blue Dragon Martial Arts Academy, there will also be a big 10th planet logo right there.

02:51:53.000 But if you're driving on the street, there's a white sign that sticks out.

02:51:56.000 So if you find that...

02:51:57.000 That's what you can learn from Hege Bravo.

02:52:01.000 Learn to get it choking.

02:52:02.000 We're going to have a good time this weekend, man.

02:52:03.000 It's going to be fun. 0.97

02:52:04.000 Some crazy ass fights. 0.94

02:52:05.000 It's going to be wild. 1.00

02:52:06.000 Fuck yeah, man. 1.00

02:52:07.000 Party time. 1.00

02:52:08.000 All right, you dirty bitches. 1.00

02:52:09.000 This has been a long and disjointed podcast and we apologize for it. 1.00

02:52:13.000 Brian, you really got to get your shit together because you can't do any of the things that you said. 0.91

02:52:17.000 Can I make a request? 1.00

02:52:18.000 Can I make a request, Joe?

02:52:20.000 Yeah, sure.

02:52:20.000 I just dropped a new song and I want to play it for you.

02:52:24.000 Right now?

02:52:25.000 Is it too late?

02:52:26.000 Yeah, we have like four minutes till it ends.

02:52:29.000 Yeah, we only have three hours on a recording.

02:52:31.000 Oh, okay.

02:52:32.000 You can play it afterwards.

02:52:33.000 We'll stop and come back and play it afterwards.

02:52:35.000 Okay, we do that.

02:52:35.000 So we'll stop and come back and it will be a supplemental to the podcast, ladies and gentlemen, the Eddie Bravo song.

02:52:41.000 Alright, you freaks. 0.99

02:52:43.000 Next week, we got a lot of shit going on. 0.99

02:52:45.000 We got Tommy Chong coming up. 0.99

02:52:46.000 We got Kevin Pereira, Adam Kokesh from Adam vs.

02:52:51.000 The Man, and Honey Honey.

02:52:53.000 And we don't know if we might have to move some people around.

02:52:57.000 That's a lot.

02:52:58.000 Might have to do Honey Honey a little earlier in the day.

02:53:00.000 And then next week we got Aubrey who's returning from Peru on another psychedelic adventure.

02:53:05.000 Then we got Bobo from Finding Bigfoot.

02:53:09.000 I am very excited about that one.

02:53:12.000 When's that Cat Vyond?

02:53:15.000 Oh, she's emailing me.

02:53:16.000 We're going back and forth.

02:53:17.000 We're going to figure it out.

02:53:18.000 Your girl Cat Von D responded to me on Twitter today.

02:53:20.000 Oh, cool, cool.

02:53:21.000 And I gushed like a little child.

02:53:23.000 This weekend, if you're going to see the UFC, I'm going to be also doing a show, Doug Loves Movie Taping at Powell Station on Sunday.

02:53:30.000 And Doug Loves Movies, for those who don't know, is the podcast of the, I Heard Grumpy, Doug Benson.

02:53:38.000 Doug Benson.

02:53:39.000 Also, I got an after party Saturday night at the Cat House at the Luxor.

02:53:43.000 It's the 10th Planet after party.

02:53:45.000 After the UFC, Cat House, Luxor, everybody's invited.

02:53:49.000 What is the Cat House?

02:53:50.000 It's a small lounge.

02:53:51.000 I wanted a place where we could get everybody in.

02:53:54.000 If we would have had Hayes or something like XS, like those clubs, you can only get 10 guys in.

02:53:59.000 It gets crazy.

02:54:01.000 I put together a party where I made sure that all my 10th Planet people, because there's going to be a bunch of them there this weekend, they could all get into one spot without any trouble.

02:54:10.000 They got a bar there.

02:54:11.000 They got music.

02:54:12.000 It's just for 10th Planet family.

02:54:14.000 Anybody that's down, you don't have to go to a 10th Planet school, but...

02:54:19.000 It's after the UFC Saturday, Cat House at the Luxor.

02:54:22.000 Look for me. 0.99

02:54:23.000 Boom, bitches. 1.00

02:54:26.000 That's about it. 0.99

02:54:27.000 Oh, if you're a Fear Factor fan, the Fear Factor episode where we...

02:54:32.000 Well, I shouldn't tell you what actually happens.

02:54:34.000 But there's one two-hour episode that we filmed, besides the donkey semen one that wound up tanking the show.

02:54:42.000 There's one other episode that we filmed that's going to air over the next two Mondays.

02:54:47.000 So I don't think they're advertising it.

02:54:49.000 They're just sticking it in a hole.

02:54:51.000 And it's called Burning It Off.

02:54:53.000 So if you're interested and you want to check it out, you'll probably never see it again.

02:54:57.000 That's cool.

02:54:58.000 Did you forget about that episode?

02:55:00.000 No, no, I remembered.

02:55:02.000 You know...

02:55:03.000 I'm so happy that this thing turned out the way it did.

02:55:05.000 You know, it's very rare when someone, their show gets canceled and they're really happy it got canceled. 0.99

02:55:10.000 I fucked up, man. 0.99

02:55:12.000 I would have been locked. 1.00

02:55:13.000 Shut the fuck up, this. 1.00

02:55:15.000 I'm trying to make a goddamn confession. 1.00

02:55:18.000 Listen, folks, this fucking podcast is over. 1.00

02:55:20.000 We'll be back. 0.99

02:55:22.000 We'll be back next week with tons of fun.

02:55:25.000 And we'll be in San Diego for Comic-Con.

02:55:27.000 Yes.

02:55:28.000 We'll be in San Diego next Friday.

02:55:29.000 Go to deskquad.tv.

02:55:31.000 The 13th.

02:55:33.000 Oh, really?

02:55:33.000 Yeah, and it's at where?

02:55:35.000 What is the name of the place?

02:55:35.000 It's on the American Comedy Co.

02:55:37.000 You can go to AmericanComedyCo.com or DeathSquad.tv and click on the banner at the top.

02:55:41.000 Alright, you freaks. 0.97

02:55:42.000 We will see you soon.

02:55:43.000 Thank you. 0.99

02:55:44.000 God damn it! 0.99

02:55:45.000 I'm on a podcast. 0.99

02:55:46.000 I'll call you back.

02:55:48.000 Thanks to The Fleshlight for sponsoring our podcast.

02:55:50.000 Go to JoeRogan.net.

02:55:51.000 Click on the link for The Fleshlight.

02:55:52.000 Enter in the code name Rogen and save yourself 15% off the number one sex toy for men.

02:55:58.000 Thanks also to Onnit.com. 0.92

02:55:59.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. Go check the alpha brain, son.

02:56:04.000 Go get yourself some.

02:56:05.000 New formula has some awesome new ingredients that are even better.

02:56:09.000 Go check.

02:56:09.000 Check it out.

02:56:10.000 All the information is available on Onnit.com and the kettlebells are in.

02:56:13.000 The most reasonably priced kettlebells you're going to find online including the most reasonably priced battle ropes.

02:56:20.000 The battle ropes are the highest quality available as are the kettlebells. 0.99

02:56:24.000 Those fucking kettlebells will be there when the earth is not. 1.00

02:56:28.000 They are solid fucking iron and they will find them. 1.00

02:56:31.000 Scientists will find them. 1.00

02:56:32.000 In your fucking house I'm doing a podcast! 1.00

02:56:35.000 Jesus Christ, I can't tell these people enough, and yet they still call back. 1.00

02:56:41.000 I gotta go, ladies and gentlemen. 0.99

02:56:42.000 There's a lot of shit going down over here. 0.99

02:56:44.000 Thanks to Anna.com. 0.99

02:56:45.000 Use the code name ROGAN and save yourself 10% off all our awesome brain supplements.

02:56:51.000 And we will see you guys soon, next week.

02:56:53.000 Are we doing an Ice House show next Wednesday?

02:56:55.000 Next Wednesday, Ice House.

02:56:57.000 Powerful Ice House.

02:56:58.000 So that's it for now, and we'll see you guys soon.

02:57:01.000 Amen.

The Joe Rogan Experience - July 05, 2012

Joe Rogan Experience #236 - Eddie Bravo

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript