00:09:58.000The profile belongs to Henry Martinez, a NASA scientist who's missing.
00:10:02.000The background image from a website called Time machine.
00:10:05.000If you de digitize it, the 2024 assassination attempt photos appear, but with a hole in the head instead of the ear.
00:10:13.000The profile picture is a green toad in a tuxedo with a glass, exactly like Trump in the assassination attempt.
00:10:20.000Either it's the most elaborate psyop in history, or someone from the future is leaving clues in the past that only make sense once the events happen.
00:11:26.000There is a bunch of random Twitter accounts that have tweeted random names just one time, so I don't know what the odds of that happening are.
00:12:54.000How'd the guy get in the hotel with a gun?
00:12:56.000Like, how are you not checking every room?
00:12:58.000How are you not, like, checking everyone's bags?
00:13:00.000If you know that the president and Marco Rubio, all these fucking people are going to be there, and Oz the Mentalist, and you don't have someone checking guns.
00:13:08.000Why is there better security at the improv on Black Comic Night?
00:16:55.000Like this guy was running mind control operations all throughout the country.
00:16:59.000They ran brothels where they gave the Johns acid and the ladies would come out and give the Johns acid and they would watch through a two way mirror and then film them.
00:21:45.000There was one famous one who transitioned to a woman but kept fighting men and started getting fucked up because now she didn't have any hormones anymore or balls.
00:21:55.000And so she's just getting the shit kicked out of her as a girl when she was dominating as a guy.
00:22:41.000Dude, all over Latin America, anytime I got recognized, they'd be like, They'd be like, when are we going to get another Protect Our Parks?
00:22:47.000I'm like, I'm not really in the area right now.
00:22:50.000As soon as I'm out of Uruguay, I'll let them know.
00:22:53.000Yeah, I would get questions from people.
00:28:00.000It was like, it really paints a picture, but then you're like, then you listen to like Kennison and you're like, oh, this guy, Cosby, is very slow.
00:35:32.000You remember the days where Joey Diaz would have people in the church of what's happening now and he would swap out the 25 milligram animals for 250s?
00:53:04.000Well, one of the things he does apparently hits his face with a hammer to put micro breaks in his face to make his jaw look more like a chick.
00:59:02.000Three year extension of Section 702 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act allows the federal government to collect communications of non citizens outside the U.S., though it often includes communications with American citizens.
00:59:15.000But then if they suspect you of it, like with Tucker, Tucker was communicating with Putin's people to do an interview through Signal.
00:59:24.000So they took his encoded, so it's all encrypted.
00:59:29.000They took his encrypted signal and they decrypted it.
00:59:32.000Someone who knows this stuff explained to me said it cost about $600,000 to do that.
00:59:38.000They said they can decrypt encrypted messages, they just have to get the data.
00:59:43.000So, somehow or another, they got the data off of his phone, they unencrypted it, and then they contacted him and said, We know that you're meeting with Putin.
01:00:44.000Suicide note, purportedly written by Jeffrey Epstein weeks before his death in jail, has been kept secret for years, locked up in a courthouse.
01:00:50.000That means investigators scrutinizing his death lacked what could have been a key piece of evidence.
01:00:54.000In the last hour, they're saying there's a note they found that just.
01:05:58.000I mean, it's one thing, like, if you have, like, a photo of him, like, an AI, you post an AI photo of him dead, you know, with bullet holes in him, like, wouldn't that be nice?
01:06:53.000However, you're setting a precedent for militarized people with seven weeks training to be walking around with fucking weapons of war and flak jackets with no ID and masks on.
01:07:10.000But then also, they wouldn't have to be there like that if there wasn't any conflict if it wasn't organized, paid for protests.
01:07:17.000They paid people to protest, they paid people because they had the fucking, all that fraud in Minnesota.
01:07:23.000Yeah, but there's a reason why I was in Minneapolis, why the fucking protests were strongest in Minneapolis and organized, because that's where all the fraud was.
01:07:31.000That's where all the people were getting caught.
01:07:32.000So they said, well, let's defuse this.
01:10:00.000One of the Border Protection's agents grabs the gun and is taking it away.
01:10:04.000And unfortunately, the gun accidentally goes off.
01:10:07.000The gun that he was carrying is called a SIG P320 and it's notorious for accidental discharges.
01:10:14.000So, this is confusing because it's hard to tell because the video is a little grainy, but most people who are experts look at it and say that, at least the videos that I've watched, say that that gun accidentally went off without the guy touching the trigger.
01:14:56.000So, a savings of $450 billion annually while providing coverage to all Americans.
01:15:01.000According to Perplexity, our AI sponsor, which is never wrong, the United States currently spends about $5.3 trillion in health care, $15,474 per person as of 2024.
01:15:13.000Even when something goes wrong and you have insurance, it's not paid for.
01:15:17.000You've got to spend $5,000 to get anesthesia and then another $5,000 to go downstairs for the surgery.
01:17:09.000So, what concerns me, not just, well, all of it concerns me, one of the things that someone told me was that we've kind of depleted our weapon supplies because we don't have that many of those fucking missiles.
01:20:21.000A giant percentage of those people are addicted to drugs, right?
01:20:22.000A giant percentage of those people are addicted to drugs, right?
01:20:25.000A giant percentage of those people are addicted to fentanyl zombies.
01:20:27.000You need Ibogaine for all those people, mental health.
01:20:30.000Facilities, you need to get them on whatever medication to fix their schizophrenia, and it's also not even like a goodwill thing, it's also like we need to clean their cars.
01:20:39.000Self safety, yeah, it's for everybody.
01:20:52.000Last time I looked, it said American health care, Americans pay more than two times the next country for health care, and we get the 17th best coverage.
01:33:27.000I feel like in my head he looks like Sid Vicious.
01:33:29.000Well, he's a giant dude, and he bitch slapped him open palm to the ear, which could definitely make you go deaf.
01:33:35.000But I mean, if you told BJ Penn in his prime or anybody, like, I think what you do is fake, they'd be like, it's not.
01:33:42.000John Stossel was slapped twice by WWF wrestler Dr. D. David Schultz backstage in Madison Square Garden after calling pro wrestling fake during a 2020 expose.
01:33:50.000The incident left Stossel with pain and ringing in his ears, leading to a lawsuit against WWF.
01:46:49.000It's really great because it's like him in a bodega going over the bits, like drinking coffee, reading over his lines, and then tweaking it and changing them.
01:48:18.000You tell them that because he was just running material and trying to find every possible angle and get laughs occasionally and sometimes not and then tweak it afterwards.
01:55:09.000Didn't you have a thing where your manager, our business manager, one of them was like, hey, Joe, we got to, when you just started headlining, correct me if I'm wrong, we're like, we got to have a talk with you.
01:56:14.000I mean, I met a bunch of guys who became my friends that were like local guys, but it was like one out of ten.
01:56:19.000And that means nine times I'm in a town bored, watching TV, fucking not enjoying myself.
01:56:24.000And then being there, sometimes they're mean, sometimes they step on your material on purpose.
01:56:28.000And sometimes, yeah, and sometimes they'll be like, they'll do the negging thing a woman will do where she's like, they'll like, shit on you on purpose.
02:05:43.000When Shane and I ran for president and vice president, we'll get into another episode, but it was the log line until one of us betrays the other, until one of us double crosses the other one.
02:10:58.000So I said, these aren't illegal because they're harmful.
02:11:01.000They're illegal because of the sweeping Controlled Substances Act of the 1970s and the Richard Nixon administration to target the civil rights movement and the anti war movement.
02:11:12.000They're not illegal because they're harmful.
02:11:14.000And the idea that they were Schedule I for all these years with so many people using them to quit smoking, to quit drinking, to quit drugs, to get their life together, to like relax before they're dying like so many people that are like, Filled with anxiety because they're dying of cancer, they take mushrooms and they're like, I think I'm going to be okay.
02:11:41.000It helps people that have, like Rick Perry, the governor, he had some sort of natural atrophy of his brain that happens when you get older.
02:11:49.000Within six weeks or so after doing it, 25% of the atrophy was gone.
02:11:54.000Six months later, 100% of it was gone.
02:18:41.000He's got at least OCD, but they did a nice doc.
02:18:44.000Like before the game, they always, like college game day, always runs like a heartwarming story, but he had like autism as a kid, and they were like, We don't know what to do.
02:18:53.000And then we got him in football, and he was just a fucking animal.
02:22:46.000As someone who's heard you talk about this kind of stuff for many, many years, You give it up more for the person you think is not going to win.
02:42:38.000Well, I got this when I was worried that, well, I had a family and I was worried that at one point in time LA was going to experience an apocalypse and I had to be able to drive somewhere where there's no roads no roads.
02:50:25.000That was also the job that I quit when, you know, the whole thing happened with COVID where Neil Young pulled his music off Spotify because I was giving out vaccine misinformation.
02:50:33.000Wait, is that until he couldn't get it played elsewhere?
02:57:26.000Some people think it was a microphone.
02:57:28.000But the problem with the microphone, yeah, the microphone shot him in the neck.
02:57:31.000Like, there was some sort of an implemented destruction device.
02:57:35.000The problem I have with that is you don't see any fire coming off of the microphone.
02:57:38.000Like, if a microphone is going to kill you, it's going to shoot you somehow or another, it's got to be an explosive charge, and then you'll see a flash, and then something will project.
03:03:47.000There was a guy that used to be the fucking doorman at the improv, and he showed me this cartel video of this guy getting eaten by a pit bull.
03:11:50.000This lady got to force you to have sex.
03:11:52.000She categorically denies the allegation.
03:11:55.000She never engaged in any inappropriate conduct with this individual of any kind and has never been to the location where the alleged sexual assault supposedly took place.
03:15:39.000Going against the U.S. Shane, look at this story.
03:15:41.000As fighting escalated and air corridors were restricted, social media posts alleged that cloud seeding aircraft used by the U.S. and its allies have been grounded, causing stolen rains to return.
03:15:51.000So we've been stealing rains from Iran for a long time?