The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #252 - Jamie Kilstein

00:00:03.000 Hi, everybody.

00:00:06.000 All 562 people.

00:00:08.000 Is this thing on?

00:00:09.000 Yeah.

00:00:10.000 I think I need to turn it up.

00:00:11.000 Turn on your hot light.

00:00:15.000 I don't know where it is, Brian.

00:00:16.000 It's definitely not the ones on the very left.

00:00:18.000 The two on the left does all of them.

00:00:20.000 Is it over here?

00:00:21.000 Oh, yeah, that's it.

00:00:23.000 Oh, that's glorious.

00:00:25.000 Oh, the volume.

00:00:27.000 Did you get your ears cleaned out yet?

00:00:29.000 No, I did not.

00:00:30.000 I did not.

00:00:31.000 I do want to, and I do believe you.

00:00:34.000 I'm gonna do it, I promise.

00:00:36.000 I'm gonna try it myself. 0.98

00:00:37.000 I'm gonna order some shit online. 0.98

00:00:38.000 I found some rhino bottle, and there's an elephant one and a rhino one. 0.99

00:00:43.000 I heard about that, yeah.

00:00:43.000 Yeah, and apparently you could do it.

00:00:45.000 It's exactly the same as the people do in the office.

00:00:47.000 I don't know, because it's a squeeze bottle, like a spray bottle that you spray a cat with or something like that, and this is like a high-powered water pick in your ear.

00:00:54.000 Maybe you're right.

00:00:55.000 But you could buy that.

00:00:56.000 Like, I told her, I'm like, Can I buy that?

00:00:58.000 She's like, no, it's professional use only.

00:01:00.000 And I'm thinking, yeah, but that means I can still buy it.

00:01:02.000 You can buy it online. 0.99

00:01:04.000 It's a fucking wild world out there, folks. 0.98

00:01:07.000 Apparently, well, let's talk about this in the podcast because I do want to bring up this new thing that's been going on where people are selling illegal drugs over the internet and getting away with it somehow or another. 0.99

00:01:16.000 Have you heard of this?

00:01:18.000 Changing a module?

00:01:19.000 No, no, no, not even that.

00:01:21.000 Alright, we'll get into that.

00:01:22.000 But before we get into anything, we have commercials. 0.90

00:01:25.000 We have a very fucking flawed model, ladies and gentlemen, of how we handle these things. 0.92

00:01:29.000 We don't operate in a very professional manner. 0.99

00:01:32.000 And I don't know if it's good or bad, but at least you know what the fuck is up. 0.98

00:01:36.000 There's no producers behind the scenes directing Brian and I to be better at this. 0.96

00:01:40.000 So, it's not happening.

00:01:44.000 Onnit.com is our sponsor.

00:01:45.000 That's our number one only real fucking serious sponsor.

00:01:49.000 Occasionally we have other sponsors.

00:01:51.000 But Onnit is the number one thing right now.

00:01:54.000 O-N-N-I-T. What is Onnit? 1.00

00:01:56.000 It is a company that the whole mission of the company is to bring you the best supplements, the best fitness equipment, the best choices for a healthy lifestyle.

00:02:09.000 And what alpha brain is, it's nootropics, and what they are is vitamins that have been shown to have a positive effect on cognitive function, to have a positive effect on how your brain operates.

00:02:22.000 I take them every day. 0.97

00:02:24.000 I swear by them, as do I swear by Shroom Tech Sport, which is a fucking phenomenal supplement. 0.96

00:02:30.000 We've got to give Jamie Kilstein some before he goes and rolls. 0.99

00:02:33.000 This fucking stuff is tremendous. 1.00

00:02:36.000 It's amazing. 1.00

00:02:37.000 It's based on the cordyceps mushroom, which has been shown to accentuate your body's ability to process oxygen.

00:02:44.000 I'm not sure how it works, but it was discovered apparently by high-altitude herders who, their animals, they noticed after eating these mushrooms.

00:02:53.000 Would have more pep to them. 0.99

00:02:54.000 And apparently it's grown off of a fucking caterpillar. 1.00

00:02:57.000 It's very complicated. 0.99

00:02:59.000 But there's, you know, like what people are able to do today, like harvesting live organisms like acidophilus and different mushrooms and things like that.

00:03:08.000 It's really kind of fascinating.

00:03:10.000 But the way they have to do this cordyceps mushroom is particularly difficult.

00:03:14.000 But very worth it for athletes.

00:03:16.000 And it's not something that's illegal either.

00:03:17.000 It's not something where you're going to piss hot if you want to win the Olympics.

00:03:21.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:03:22.000 So I don't have to worry about it. 0.99

00:03:23.000 Destiny hooker. 0.99

00:03:24.000 They're not like steroids or anything.

00:03:26.000 But it is very effective, as is this new hemp force protein that we just got.

00:03:30.000 This is the highest quality plant-based protein you can buy. 0.98

00:03:34.000 And we have to get it from Canada, unfortunately, because we have a retarded government! 1.00

00:03:40.000 And our retarded government, believe it or not, even though it's legal in Vermont, and I believe in two other states, but most certainly Vermont. 0.88

00:03:47.000 They were the pioneers.

00:03:48.000 They made it legal to grow hemp in the state of Vermont.

00:03:51.000 Well, why is that?

00:03:52.000 Because hemp is not psychoactive.

00:03:55.000 You can't get high from it.

00:03:56.000 You will not test positive for THC. Did you know that if you eat poppy seed bagels, that you can test positive for heroin?

00:04:03.000 Yeah.

00:04:03.000 That's how crazy this world is.

00:04:06.000 That does not happen with hemp.

00:04:07.000 If you eat the hemp fiber, you do not get any THC in your system.

00:04:10.000 So you're not going to test positive for marijuana.

00:04:13.000 But it is a really easily digestible form of protein.

00:04:18.000 And the stuff that we got is hemp hearts.

00:04:20.000 It is the highest quality stuff available.

00:04:22.000 It's not cheap.

00:04:23.000 It's expensive.

00:04:24.000 It's hard to get. 0.99

00:04:25.000 And the reason why is because our government is filled with cunts. 1.00

00:04:28.000 That's it. 0.97

00:04:28.000 But it is a really effective plant-based product. 0.97

00:04:33.000 Protein, and it also has maca in it, and it also has raw cocoa.

00:04:37.000 It's really delicious, too, because there's only one gram of sugar per serving, and it is sweetened by stevia instead.

00:04:47.000 And stevia is a really, really potent natural sweetener.

00:04:51.000 It's kind of a different flavor. 0.98

00:04:53.000 And to have the stevia mixed with the raw cocoa and the hemp, it's fucking delicious. 0.83

00:04:58.000 It is my all-time favorite tasting protein powder. 1.00

00:05:02.000 This shit is Fucking phenomenal. 1.00

00:05:04.000 I don't have to fight myself to keep myself from drinking three of these a day. 1.00

00:05:07.000 Damn. 0.99

00:05:08.000 Because I've run through my equipment, son! 0.99

00:05:10.000 We also have, anyway, we have a money-back guarantee when you're ordering supplements.

00:05:14.000 If you order Alpha Brain or Shroom Tech Sport or Shroom Tech Immune, the first 30 pills is 100% money-back guarantee.

00:05:20.000 You don't even have to send back the product.

00:05:22.000 We don't want anybody to feel ripped off. 0.99

00:05:24.000 We're only selling you the best shit available. 0.99

00:05:26.000 We're only selling you shit that has been proven in some studies to have some effect. 1.00

00:05:31.000 On human behavior, human body, the human athletic function. 1.00

00:05:35.000 Everything that we have is shit that we believe in 100%. 0.98

00:05:39.000 And nobody wants anybody to feel ripped off. 1.00

00:05:42.000 So we're selling you great shit, the best shit that we can get our hands on. 0.99

00:05:44.000 We also have kettlebells and battle ropes available. 1.00

00:05:47.000 If you've never done those, they're fucking tremendous real man type exercises. 0.99

00:05:53.000 Battle ropes are goddamn brutal. 0.99

00:05:55.000 You would never think throwing some ropes would be so fucking hard, man. 1.00

00:05:59.000 But I'd get out there and wail on those motherfuckers for 30 seconds, and then take 20 seconds off and wail on them for 30 seconds. 1.00

00:06:06.000 Holy shit, is that a workout? 1.00

00:06:09.000 This is, I think, all you need if you want to get in shape. 0.99

00:06:13.000 There's a lot of people that join exercise gyms, and you wind up doing Stairmasters, and you wind up doing leg extensions, and all this crazy shit you do on machines.

00:06:23.000 This is all you need for fitness, okay? 0.98

00:06:26.000 Bodyweight squats are fucking fantastic, okay? 0.98

00:06:29.000 That's one. 0.98

00:06:30.000 Bodyweight squats, chin-ups.

00:06:31.000 Do a lot of chin-ups. 0.98

00:06:32.000 How many chin-ups can you really fucking do? 0.98

00:06:35.000 Go after it. 0.98

00:06:36.000 Yeah, all the way down.

00:06:37.000 Go after it, okay?

00:06:39.000 Just that alone will make you ridiculously strong. 0.95

00:06:41.000 Doing a fuckload of chin-ups, okay? 0.60

00:06:44.000 It's a natural bodyweight movement.

00:06:46.000 And kettlebells.

00:06:48.000 And what's great about kettlebells is They're these cannonballs with handles on them. 1.00

00:06:52.000 And they're fucking awkward as shit. 0.99

00:06:54.000 And you're swinging them around, and you're forcing your body to control and balance this giant-ass cannonball. 0.99

00:07:02.000 And when you do that, whether you're doing them...

00:07:03.000 Sometimes I do them with two hands. 0.98

00:07:05.000 I have certain exercises that I do with two hands that are fucking brutal. 0.99

00:07:08.000 I'll take two 70-pounders and do this just ridiculous assault on your body. 1.00

00:07:13.000 And you can't do it for more than 30 or 40 seconds.

00:07:15.000 I do these 40-second reps with it.

00:07:18.000 What it is, it's cleans, press, squat.

00:07:22.000 And then I swing it down.

00:07:23.000 Cleans, press, squat.

00:07:25.000 And I do the whole thing in a series.

00:07:27.000 And I do this series like I try to do 20 reps.

00:07:31.000 And when I get to 20 reps, it's It's death! 1.00

00:07:34.000 It's fucking death! 0.99

00:07:35.000 You're swinging 140 pounds, pressing it up, holding it on each hand. 0.99

00:07:39.000 I mean, it has made me substantially stronger, really increased my jiu-jitsu game, made positions stronger, I have better balance, I have more...

00:07:52.000 I have more control.

00:07:54.000 I have more sovereignty over my balance.

00:07:56.000 I can move my body more the way I want to.

00:07:59.000 The grip.

00:08:00.000 Yeah, and that's what I... The grip is tremendous, too, because they're heavy as shit, and you're holding onto this fat iron handle. 0.99

00:08:06.000 These kettlebells are as cheap as we can sell them. 0.99

00:08:09.000 They're the highest quality available. 0.99

00:08:11.000 They're Troy kettlebells, and if you fucking buy these things, they will last till past the apocalypse. 0.99

00:08:17.000 They will last... 0.99

00:08:18.000 When the ice caps melt, And this whole thing is covered in water. 0.99

00:08:22.000 They will find these fucking kettlebells at the bottom of the ocean and try to figure out what the hell they were all about. 1.00

00:08:27.000 Fuck your leg extensions. 1.00

00:08:28.000 Yeah, you don't need leg extensions, son. 1.00

00:08:30.000 Do some bodyweight squats. 0.99

00:08:31.000 Or, by the way, do some one-armed pistols while holding a fucking 35-pound kettlebell. 0.99

00:08:36.000 Let me see if you can do that. 0.99

00:08:37.000 Do some one-legged squats while holding a 35-pound kettlebell. 1.00

00:08:40.000 How many of those can you do, bitch? 1.00

00:08:41.000 That shit is hard, okay? 1.00

00:08:44.000 Tremendous exercise as far as its ability to translate into athletics, and that's what I think is very important, for me at least. 0.99

00:08:51.000 There's a lot of exercises that make you look a little bit better, but your body's not moving in a natural way.

00:08:57.000 You're isolating things, and when you do that, you can actually throw off the whole balance of how your body communicates, and now it's weight.

00:09:04.000 That's why dudes with meatball bodies, meatballs on a toothpick, really big upper body and little skinny legs, those guys aren't athletes. 0.97

00:09:10.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00

00:09:11.000 You can't move like that, stupid. 1.00

00:09:13.000 Ladies and gentlemen, that's the end of this goddamn commercial. 1.00

00:09:15.000 Alrighty! 0.99

00:09:16.000 Cue the music.

00:09:17.000 Use the codes named Rogan.

00:09:18.000 Codes?

00:09:19.000 Use...

00:09:19.000 I need a producer.

00:09:21.000 Use the code named Rogan and you get 10% off. 0.99

00:09:24.000 Alright, you dirty bitches? 1.00

00:09:25.000 All supplements. 1.00

00:09:27.000 And that's it.

00:09:29.000 Jamie Kilstein is here, ladies and gentlemen.

00:09:33.000 Nothing.

00:09:37.000 What happened there?

00:09:38.000 I don't know.

00:09:38.000 Is this your new fade?

00:09:39.000 I do it a little different.

00:09:40.000 Your new fade is a non-fade. 1.00

00:09:42.000 You just fucking kill it. 1.00

00:09:43.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:09:44.000 You gotta give up on just trying to outdo yourself, man.

00:09:47.000 There's certain things in life you gotta accept.

00:09:48.000 You gotta accept that you can't make that song any better than it is.

00:09:51.000 I'm mixing it up.

00:09:52.000 Okay, alright.

00:09:52.000 Can I say something about your sponsors real quick?

00:09:54.000 Sure.

00:09:55.000 If the government were ever to investigate you, your sponsors are evidence that you are trying to start an army. 0.99

00:10:00.000 For, like, when shit goes down. 0.92

00:10:02.000 He's like, yeah, like, I've never heard a show, like, I'm used to, like, I remember, like, the old, like, the fleshlights or people advertising condoms or fucking Bud Light, but it's like, you need these to make you strong for when you know what happens. 1.00

00:10:15.000 For when the shit goes down and you gotta choke some fucking soldiers. 1.00

00:10:18.000 Damn, fucking kettlebells. 1.00

00:10:20.000 I've never heard a show sponsored by fucking kettlebells. 1.00

00:10:24.000 Well, I want to be sponsored by shit I believe in, man. 0.99

00:10:28.000 Which is, you know, also why we have these Alienware computers. 0.99

00:10:31.000 Alienware, we support them because they support MMA fighters.

00:10:34.000 They're always sponsoring fighters.

00:10:35.000 Every UFC show I go to, I see dudes with that Alienware logo on.

00:10:39.000 And I love that. 0.98

00:10:40.000 I love that Dell has the balls. 0.95

00:10:42.000 To step up and sponsor a very controversial, but a very noble sport. 0.94

00:10:47.000 And so I appreciate that.

00:10:48.000 So we use Alienware because of that.

00:10:51.000 So I try to keep this show as, you know, you're never going to see Brian and I advertise something that we don't believe in. 0.90

00:10:58.000 Something that sucks.

00:11:00.000 Like this, like even this Alienware thing. 0.96

00:11:02.000 I would say that if you're like a regular dude and you don't game, this is crazy. 0.99

00:11:06.000 This thing is a fucking brick. 1.00

00:11:08.000 Look at the size of this goddamn thing. 1.00

00:11:09.000 It's really huge. 1.00

00:11:10.000 But if you wanted a game on it, this is the shit. 0.98

00:11:12.000 I mean, this thing is just like, you could play high resolution, like really dope high frame. 0.99

00:11:18.000 3D. Oh yeah, you can play 3D. It's like pretty much having the best Xbox, PlayStation 3 and everything in a laptop.

00:11:25.000 But if you're not a gamer, then...

00:11:27.000 It's overkill.

00:11:28.000 Yeah, it's super overkill.

00:11:29.000 They weigh like 80 pounds.

00:11:30.000 Also, hypothetically, when you're done kettlebelling, it's really good for, like, hacking into the CIA. I don't know if it goes down.

00:11:36.000 And tracing their steps so you can always be one step ahead of them.

00:11:39.000 You need some powerful CPU and some hacker skills, and you need to be able to run Linux, okay?

00:11:44.000 Which we are also sponsored by.

00:11:46.000 We're sponsored by Linux.

00:11:47.000 We're sponsored by open source.

00:11:49.000 Listen, I believe in open source, 100%.

00:11:52.000 I believe in Unix and Linux and all that stuff, but I think that...

00:11:55.000 Ultimately, people want a little bit better of a user experience.

00:12:00.000 They want to be able to go and buy everything.

00:12:02.000 You don't want something where you've got to use Mike's browser.

00:12:05.000 You're like, what is this Mike's browser?

00:12:08.000 You see some of the browsers that people use? 0.78

00:12:10.000 Right now, dorks are going crazy. 0.81

00:12:12.000 You don't know what you're talking about, Rogan! 0.58

00:12:15.000 Unix has a wide variety of browsers that are available!

00:12:18.000 I code my own!

00:12:20.000 All the heat is off me now.

00:12:22.000 That's great. 0.99

00:12:23.000 Dude, people have gotten angry at Brian, and here's one of my favorite fucking arguments. 0.97

00:12:28.000 A dude was angry at Brian because we were talking about Android phones, and I always look at Android phones, and I look at him and I'm like, ooh, that's a fucking big screen. 0.97

00:12:36.000 That looks so pretty.

00:12:37.000 And Brian was like, yeah, they're still clunky.

00:12:39.000 They're kind of funky.

00:12:40.000 Some guy argued, you don't even know what you're talking about.

00:12:44.000 Maybe the regular user interface is clunky, but I've hacked into my droid, and I've used a different, whatever the fuck they call it, I've rooted it, and used a different OS. They hacked the operating system, changed the way it looks, and they go, see?

00:13:02.000 I have to admit something.

00:13:03.000 This girl I know just got the Samsung Galaxy S3. That's the shit. 1.00

00:13:07.000 Yeah, and I started playing with it. 1.00

00:13:08.000 And it's not the design is the shit. 0.99

00:13:12.000 It's beautiful. 0.99

00:13:12.000 Like how it's big and flat. 0.99

00:13:14.000 I just want to have my Apple on it, though.

00:13:18.000 Right.

00:13:18.000 So I started using the operating system.

00:13:20.000 It was kind of cool.

00:13:20.000 There was a lot of cool little fun features.

00:13:23.000 Like to take a screenshot, you just wipe your whole hand across the screen.

00:13:27.000 I was like, that's kind of cool.

00:13:28.000 You know, things like that.

00:13:29.000 But then, I'm like, I forget what...

00:13:31.000 I think it was Facebook.

00:13:31.000 I started using Facebook.

00:13:32.000 Let me try your Facebook app.

00:13:34.000 And then it froze. 1.00

00:13:35.000 And I was like, ah, fuck this. 0.99

00:13:36.000 Alright, so let's go to the camera app. 0.99

00:13:37.000 So then I'm taking the camera app.

00:13:38.000 I'm trying to take the camera, and it's lagging behind. 1.00

00:13:41.000 I'm just like, fuck this shit. 1.00

00:13:43.000 And I was like, there it is, right there. 1.00

00:13:45.000 It's supposed to be a really good camera.

00:13:47.000 It's one of the things that's been praised for.

00:13:49.000 Maybe she needed to reboot it. 0.90

00:13:50.000 But still, the design of it, I was so fucking jealous about. 0.56

00:13:55.000 I need it. 0.66

00:13:56.000 It's gorgeous.

00:13:56.000 I want to...

00:13:57.000 For a browser.

00:13:58.000 That's what I'm looking at it for.

00:14:00.000 I like to get online if I'm at an airport or something like that and look at things real quick.

00:14:04.000 Go to MMA.tv or Mixed Martial Arts.com or something like that. 0.99

00:14:07.000 You can't see shit on an iPhone. 0.99

00:14:09.000 It's tiny. 0.99

00:14:10.000 You've got to scroll, stretch it out and shrink it up.

00:14:13.000 If you want to really see a picture, yeah. 0.73

00:14:15.000 But on these galaxies, first of all, the thing is the 4G is just fucking better.

00:14:20.000 It's just better. 0.98

00:14:21.000 The iPhone wants to get silly.

00:14:22.000 And say that we're almost like 4G if you have AT&T. It's pretty fucking fast. 0.98

00:14:27.000 It's pretty fast. 0.98

00:14:27.000 I don't have AT&T though. 0.98

00:14:28.000 I have Verizon. 0.99

00:14:30.000 So it's like I'm using old shit. 0.99

00:14:32.000 I have a card in my laptop that's a 4G card. 1.00

00:14:36.000 It's fucking dope, man. 1.00

00:14:38.000 It loads things up like that. 1.00

00:14:40.000 It's incredible.

00:14:41.000 It's really good.

00:14:42.000 You can watch YouTube videos with no lag.

00:14:44.000 You start them up and they play, no problem.

00:14:46.000 It's really good. 0.99

00:14:47.000 But it just makes me realize how stupid the internet is on my phone. 0.99

00:14:51.000 That's one of the big reasons. 0.99

00:14:52.000 You just gotta hack into a better internet, bro.

00:14:54.000 Yeah, bro. 0.99

00:14:54.000 You gotta fucking learn how to get in your kernel. 0.99

00:14:57.000 They don't say bro. 1.00

00:14:57.000 That was two characters. 1.00

00:14:59.000 They might if they're growing up.

00:15:03.000 They're growing past their current stage of nerddom.

00:15:05.000 They're experimenting with new words.

00:15:07.000 It's sun.

00:15:07.000 Listen, bro.

00:15:08.000 Bro.

00:15:09.000 Dude.

00:15:10.000 Man.

00:15:10.000 Come on, man.

00:15:11.000 Hacking the system, bro.

00:15:12.000 Hacking the system, bro.

00:15:13.000 You can make your iPhone 4G. Don't be a bitch. 1.00

00:15:15.000 What's really crazy is the Apple TVs. 0.99

00:15:17.000 There's a new version of Apple TV that's now 1080p, but the one before it, the 720p, you could hack into.

00:15:24.000 And they have this great thing where you just sit there and have every single movie that's in the theaters right now.

00:15:30.000 It's just like, imagine Apple TV, but if it's every single movie possible.

00:15:36.000 You can sit there and watch DirecTV, you can watch UFC, you can pretty much watch everything.

00:15:43.000 Huh.

00:15:43.000 And it's pretty badass.

00:15:44.000 They had it at this barber shop in Atlanta when we were in Atlanta last.

00:15:47.000 And I was just like, what is this?

00:15:49.000 And they go, oh, it's Apple TV. So now if you go on eBay or if you go on Amazon.com and you look at Apple TV, like the new version is like $99 and the old version is like $300 because they're so in...

00:15:59.000 Because of that hack.

00:16:00.000 Dude, wait till you come back to my place. 0.99

00:16:02.000 I've been cleaning up my office, and I found a fucking... 0.99

00:16:05.000 An Apple camera? 0.99

00:16:07.000 Oh.

00:16:07.000 Come back when Apple made cameras?

00:16:09.000 Yeah, I remember when you bought it.

00:16:10.000 I was jealous of that camera.

00:16:11.000 I was like, every time I would come to your house, I'm like, are you going to use that?

00:16:14.000 Because I wanted to get one, and then they stopped selling it like the week after you bought it.

00:16:18.000 We should use it and take... 0.98

00:16:21.000 Well, we're going to develop a website for this fucking show, finally. 0.97

00:16:26.000 After two years of doing it, I figured it should be its own website. 1.00

00:16:30.000 And one of the things we could do is take photos with that shit camera. 1.00

00:16:33.000 Yeah, it's shitty. 1.00

00:16:35.000 It's really shitty. 0.99

00:16:36.000 It's terrible. 0.95

00:16:36.000 But it would be interesting to show people what helped that. 0.95

00:16:39.000 Don't open that shit. 0.99

00:16:40.000 You have it in the box, brand new. 1.00

00:16:42.000 No, I don't have it in the box.

00:16:44.000 Maybe I did, but not anymore.

00:16:47.000 The box is gone. 0.99

00:16:48.000 That shit was awesome. 0.99

00:16:49.000 They need to go back to making those. 0.99

00:16:50.000 I like these cameras that are in the IMAX. Nobody wants a camera anymore though.

00:16:55.000 Everybody wants a camera on your phone.

00:16:58.000 You don't want a camera anymore. 0.98

00:16:59.000 Yeah, but like Skyping and all that shit. 0.99

00:17:00.000 So pop. 0.98

00:17:01.000 FaceTiming on your...

00:17:01.000 I use video all the time on my laptop.

00:17:04.000 How would I want a fucking camera that can't call anybody? 1.00

00:17:06.000 Stupid ass camera. 1.00

00:17:07.000 When you're at home, don't you ever FaceTime or video chat with your family? 1.00

00:17:11.000 In the house?

00:17:12.000 When you're in a hotel room.

00:17:13.000 Yes.

00:17:14.000 Well, there you go.

00:17:15.000 But I'm saying that's a phone I'm doing that with.

00:17:17.000 Or I'm doing that with the laptop.

00:17:19.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:17:20.000 Yeah, but it's not like a camera. 1.00

00:17:22.000 I'm saying an individual camera on its own can go suck its dick. 1.00

00:17:26.000 Oh, right, right. 1.00

00:17:27.000 Individual cameras are stupid. 1.00

00:17:28.000 I don't need you anymore. 1.00

00:17:29.000 I walk by the aisle in Best Buy where they have little cameras, those little tiny cameras.

00:17:35.000 I'm like, what are you doing with this? 0.99

00:17:36.000 What the fuck are you wasting time for? 0.99

00:17:38.000 Do you not have a camera on your phone yet? 1.00

00:17:39.000 All that shit. 1.00

00:17:40.000 No, I mean the... 1.00

00:17:41.000 Yeah, but that camera on the phone is still not as good as like...

00:17:44.000 Not quite, but we're going to force it.

00:17:45.000 I don't know, man. 0.97

00:17:46.000 I mean, like journalists and stuff, when we were covering Occupy, like if someone stole my phone, I look like a fucking crazy person because the only pictures I have in my phone are cops beating the shit out of protesters. 0.96

00:18:00.000 And then you flip it and it's like, oh, there's my Hitler cat and like my fat cat. 0.97

00:18:04.000 And it's like my cat's holding... 0.99

00:18:06.000 And then you turn it, and it's just like a fucking bloody kid, like, screaming for help. 0.99

00:18:09.000 And then you turn it, and it's like, oh, a penny's in a box! 0.99

00:18:12.000 Like, that's it. 1.00

00:18:13.000 It's fucking my cats and police brutality is my phone. 1.00

00:18:16.000 Yeah, mine is half of them is Joey Diaz smoking joints. 1.00

00:18:20.000 That's half the photos of my fucking... 0.99

00:18:22.000 Sounds like the equivalent of my cat photos, right? 1.00

00:18:23.000 It's my kids and Joey Diaz smoking weed.

00:18:27.000 That's half my photos.

00:18:28.000 I gotta release those.

00:18:30.000 They're very important.

00:18:30.000 But I mean, a lot of those photos that kids were taking at Occupy were making it to mainstream publications just from iPhone.

00:18:36.000 Oh, for sure. 0.90

00:18:38.000 It's pretty fucking solid. 0.90

00:18:38.000 Yeah. 0.90

00:18:38.000 I mean, it's amazing, the video. 0.90

00:18:40.000 I mean, some of the best leaked video of Occupy came off of phones.

00:18:45.000 Right. 0.59

00:18:45.000 And it was uploaded instantly, which is just so fucking badass. 0.59

00:18:49.000 What a weird world we live in.

00:18:51.000 Yeah, they don't like that.

00:18:52.000 But nobody likes it. 0.97

00:18:53.000 Have you seen this new video of these cops in LA beating the shit out of a homeless guy? 0.99

00:18:59.000 I mean, just fucking with him, and then he tries to get away, and they beat the shit out of him with clubs and kicked him. 0.99

00:19:06.000 So do you think police brutality has gotten worse, or we're just seeing it more? 0.99

00:19:10.000 We've seen it more.

00:19:11.000 I think it's gotten better.

00:19:12.000 I think it's gotten better.

00:19:13.000 I think it was way worse before they were accountable. 0.99

00:19:16.000 I think now we're seeing it, and they realize, like, do you know how much that UC Davis cuntbag guy who sprayed pepper in those little children's faces, that piece of shit, do you know how bad he must have felt after that was over? 0.99

00:19:31.000 What the impact it must have been on his face? 0.99

00:19:33.000 His health?

00:19:34.000 Right. 1.00

00:19:35.000 Almost as bad as being fucking pepper sprayed. 1.00

00:19:37.000 Worse. 0.99

00:19:38.000 It's all these people responding coming back.

00:19:41.000 It's worse than being pepper sprayed.

00:19:42.000 Did you see the way they protested the dean?

00:19:44.000 It was like the creepiest, the silent protest.

00:19:46.000 It was beautiful.

00:19:47.000 It was beautiful.

00:19:48.000 It was perfect. 0.95

00:19:49.000 Nobody fucked up. 0.85

00:19:49.000 Nobody yelled. 0.85

00:19:51.000 Explain what they did.

00:19:52.000 Yeah, so what happened was the dean, who was the one who called the police in, On these protesters who were peaceful protesters.

00:19:58.000 They weren't doing anything.

00:19:59.000 They were just like making a line and, you know, doing that whole constitution.

00:20:02.000 It was over money, right?

00:20:04.000 It was over the schools.

00:20:05.000 It was crazy budget cuts.

00:20:06.000 Like a lot of the schools in California especially are, you know, we don't have time for school because we're not going to tax billionaires, blah, blah, blah.

00:20:12.000 Which, by the way, anyone listening to the show That's like, I'm a small business owner.

00:20:15.000 I'm the 1%. 0.99

00:20:16.000 You're not the fucking 1%. 1.00

00:20:17.000 Unless you're a fucking billionaire senator. 1.00

00:20:20.000 Yeah, somebody tried to tell me that I was a 1%er. 1.00

00:20:24.000 And I was like, come on, dude.

00:20:25.000 You don't even know what that means.

00:20:26.000 You can't say 1%. 0.96

00:20:27.000 That's silly.

00:20:28.000 1%, it's so rare. 0.61

00:20:30.000 Those are really rich.

00:20:31.000 Yeah.

00:20:32.000 And they got their money by making you really poor.

00:20:36.000 And so, yeah, so the dean was expecting this huge protest because, like, thousands of people showed up. 0.95

00:20:43.000 And what ended up happening when she was leaving, it was like dusk, and there were thousands of people, but instead, you know, screaming and chanting or whatever, fucking throwing glitter on her, they were silent. 0.98

00:20:55.000 It was this parking lot of, like, Thousands of just silent people and she just had to walk to her car in fucking shame. 0.96

00:21:03.000 Like with her head down and just... 0.95

00:21:05.000 You have thousands of eyes on you and no one's saying anything.

00:21:09.000 And you know all those eyes.

00:21:10.000 Brian, pull it up.

00:21:10.000 Pull it up because it's so creepy.

00:21:12.000 It's so creepy to watch and listen to.

00:21:14.000 Yeah, this is a better setup than my house.

00:21:17.000 What should I do?

00:21:18.000 UC Davis.

00:21:20.000 What was her official position?

00:21:22.000 I think if you just put like silent...

00:21:23.000 Silent protests?

00:21:24.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:25.000 Was she the president of UC Davis?

00:21:27.000 Something.

00:21:28.000 Well, I want to say counselor.

00:21:30.000 You mean my description of silence doesn't convey it?

00:21:33.000 No, I'm 45 years old.

00:21:36.000 I don't know what chancellor means.

00:21:37.000 I don't know what that means.

00:21:38.000 I don't know the difference between chancellor and dean.

00:21:40.000 Dean, I think you're the mean guy in a movie who eventually taught a lesson.

00:21:44.000 Yeah, you're the guy that the frat gets back at.

00:21:46.000 Yeah, David Spade is your assistant.

00:21:48.000 Or a David Spade-esque character.

00:21:51.000 Well, it's so sad that at one point in time, that was an original movie.

00:21:55.000 You know, Animal House.

00:21:57.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, this is it.

00:22:00.000 So she steps outside with two other people and there are thousands of kids.

00:22:05.000 Thousands.

00:22:06.000 And all you hear is her walking and she's surrounded by thousands of kids on their knees. 0.56

00:22:12.000 Thousands.

00:22:15.000 Candles.

00:22:16.000 Wouldn't it be crazy if they went... 0.99

00:22:18.000 And just fucking charged her all together at once? 1.00

00:22:23.000 That would be just as fucked up. 1.00

00:22:26.000 That's the end of the world. 0.99

00:22:27.000 That would be a more popular movie.

00:22:29.000 Yeah, that's Day of the Dead.

00:22:31.000 That's what starts the zombie apocalypse.

00:22:33.000 And they're still walking, folks.

00:22:35.000 While she's walking, there are thousands of kids to the left and the right.

00:22:39.000 And I don't know how good the sound is, but I mean, there are times where you can hear her shoes.

00:22:43.000 I mean, there are times where you hear sighs, like, it's...

00:22:45.000 Yeah, the shoes of, like, the photographer is chasing her.

00:22:48.000 You could hear her nose whistle.

00:22:49.000 Guess what, folks? 0.99

00:22:50.000 If you can force 2,000 people to be on their knees and be quiet like that, they really believe what the fuck they're doing there for. 0.99

00:22:59.000 That's real. 0.96

00:23:00.000 It's like in The Simpsons where Lisa breaks up with Ralph and they go, if you rewind it, you can actually hear where his heart breaks.

00:23:06.000 And they do it in slow motion.

00:23:08.000 That's the saddest sound. 0.99

00:23:09.000 That's some right versus wrong shit right there in pretty clear form. 0.97

00:23:13.000 So here's a question I have for you. 0.98

00:23:14.000 I think you'd be a good person to ask about police brutality.

00:23:16.000 There's part of me that thinks...

00:23:19.000 People really loved the idea of tasers and even weapons they use at protests like rubber bullets and stuff like that.

00:23:28.000 And even though now it's come out that many people have died, many times the people who have been tasered have been the elderly, mentally handicapped, people who really did not Innocent people, children, people who do not necessarily need to be... 0.93

00:23:40.000 Weren't really a threat, right?

00:23:41.000 I mean, there was literally a story recently.

00:23:42.000 We talked about it on the show, but I'm forgetting the details.

00:23:44.000 But, like, a kid was just, like, getting suspended or whatever.

00:23:48.000 And a cop was standing there.

00:23:49.000 And, like, she tried to run or something. 0.99

00:23:52.000 And, like, fucking taser. 1.00

00:23:53.000 Like, children. 1.00

00:23:53.000 Yeah, it was a young kid, right? 1.00

00:23:55.000 Right.

00:23:55.000 So my question is...

00:23:57.000 And I think I have my answer on what I think.

00:24:01.000 Is that part of me thinks that, like...

00:24:03.000 And I'm not, like...

00:24:05.000 Going after all the police. 0.99

00:24:07.000 Like, I don't want fucking tweets about, like, your dad being a good cop. 0.98

00:24:10.000 I'm just saying, like, the people who have, like, tasered... 0.98

00:24:12.000 Preemptive apologies.

00:24:13.000 Yeah, the people who have tasered children.

00:24:16.000 Yeah.

00:24:16.000 Let's start there.

00:24:19.000 Part of me is just, like, what happened to...

00:24:22.000 I get it if they're, like, an actual threat.

00:24:24.000 Then the taser's better than, like, shooting a guy to death, right?

00:24:27.000 But if you're not a threat, if you're unarmed, if you're just being, like, difficult, like, what happened to, like... 0.98

00:24:33.000 Cops having to fucking subdue these people. 0.98

00:24:35.000 Like, why are all these, like, MMA guys doing, like, fucking jujitsu seminars for law enforcement if people have just started fucking taser? 0.99

00:24:42.000 Like, that wasn't the point of the taser. 0.97

00:24:45.000 The taser was supposed to be before deadly threats, so they're not proposing enough of a threat where you have to use, I'm sorry, deadly force.

00:24:52.000 Because I remember, like, do you remember when that dude, like, ran onto the baseball field?

00:24:55.000 And he got tased.

00:24:57.000 And it was this really popular YouTube clip because they were like, ah, dude's getting tased. 0.99

00:25:01.000 And I remember even liberals that follow me on Twitter when I was like, so this is fucked up. 0.98

00:25:06.000 We're like, that's what he gets, bro. 0.99

00:25:07.000 That's what he gets for running on to a baseball field. 1.00

00:25:10.000 I'm like, he gets fucking electrocuted? 1.00

00:25:12.000 Like what happened to the days where the cops had to get off their fucking ass Chase someone, be in somewhat good shape, and just subduing. 1.00

00:25:19.000 I disagree with you there. 0.99

00:25:21.000 Okay. 1.00

00:25:21.000 Okay, I think taser the fuck on that idiot that runs in the field because he's a retard, okay? 1.00

00:25:26.000 And we need to show everybody that it really sucks when you run onto a field because we got a shitty, stupid, cappity... 1.00

00:25:32.000 Copycat Society, where if one asshole gets away with charging a baseball player and gets a high five out of the baseball player before he gets tackled to the ground. 1.00

00:25:42.000 By the way, the officers that are tackling to the ground, when you get into a physical altercation with somebody, you risk really getting hurt. 1.00

00:25:48.000 And when you're a guy who's just, look at this, this guy's running around, he's a fucking idiot, he's ruining the game, taser this asshole. 1.00

00:25:56.000 Okay, once he's down, they shouldn't have tasered him. 1.00

00:25:59.000 This is what the problem was.

00:26:00.000 Unless they tasered him to drop it, it looked like he dropped himself.

00:26:03.000 Yeah, it's one of those ones that shoot out.

00:26:05.000 Let me see it.

00:26:06.000 Can you back it up again?

00:26:07.000 Let me see it, because it looked to me for a second there like he lied down, and then they tasered him when they came out.

00:26:12.000 No, no, no.

00:26:12.000 It's the ones that shoot out, those little spikes with the cables.

00:26:15.000 Oh, okay.

00:26:18.000 Boom.

00:26:19.000 Okay, he zaps him in the back right there, and that's when he goes down. 1.00

00:26:21.000 Well, yeah, fuck that guy. 1.00

00:26:22.000 That guy's an idiot. 1.00

00:26:24.000 The guy's running around the field. 1.00

00:26:25.000 These are retards. 1.00

00:26:26.000 These poor guys with families and lives and knees and bodies, they should have to risk their fucking knees and neck to take down this asshole. 1.00

00:26:33.000 You can get an injury taking a man down that you sustain for the rest of your life. 1.00

00:26:39.000 Why? 1.00

00:26:39.000 Because some dickhead wants to be cute and ruin a whole fucking baseball game for everybody. 1.00

00:26:44.000 Don't get me wrong. 1.00

00:26:45.000 I hate that stuff, dude. 0.94

00:26:46.000 If somebody is talking at a movie in a whisper, I'm just like, I should break their neck. 1.00

00:26:52.000 Like, I definitely, like, I hate assholes like that. 1.00

00:26:55.000 I can't be fucking around drunk people. 1.00

00:26:58.000 If I have to, like, leave my... 0.99

00:26:59.000 Like, I had to leave Vegas at, like, 5 in the morning, so there were still drunk people from the night before. 0.99

00:27:03.000 I fucking fled that city. 0.99

00:27:04.000 Like, it was, like, fucking Walking Dead. 1.00

00:27:07.000 Like, I was just like, get me the fuck out of here. 1.00

00:27:08.000 I hate people like that. 1.00

00:27:09.000 And find them, arrest them, whatever. 0.63

00:27:12.000 But, like, when...

00:27:13.000 If he died, which many people have. 1.00

00:27:15.000 Tough shit. 1.00

00:27:16.000 Now you know. 1.00

00:27:17.000 Don't do that again. 1.00

00:27:18.000 That's some Hunger Games shit. 1.00

00:27:19.000 Listen, don't do that again. 1.00

00:27:20.000 Don't do that again.

00:27:21.000 He can. 0.89

00:27:21.000 He's dead. 0.89

00:27:22.000 He won't.

00:27:22.000 He's dead.

00:27:22.000 Everybody else knows.

00:27:23.000 Now you can get fucking zapped to death if you're an asshole. 1.00

00:27:26.000 Because we don't need any encouragement for assholes. 1.00

00:27:29.000 This is what I believe. 0.99

00:27:31.000 This is what I believe can stop this whole police brutality problem.

00:27:34.000 We have to make our relationship with the cops different. 0.99

00:27:38.000 The cops are supposed to be respected members of our community that are there to help us when the shit goes wrong. 1.00

00:27:45.000 It's become, by shitty management and by old asshole, cunt, fuckhead, those white shirt douchebags that you see punching kids, it all trickles down from the top and they establish the attitude for the younger officers. 1.00

00:27:58.000 And these guys who go into the police academies with good intentions can be corrupted by old jaded motherfuckers that have a shitty way of We're looking at people. 1.00

00:28:08.000 But we have to look at it differently too. 0.98

00:28:11.000 This us versus them mentality a lot of times comes from people that have a distrust of police from the past or of things that they've seen when it comes to corruption or things they've seen when it comes to brutality. 1.00

00:28:23.000 Or they're just a bunch of assholes that are always doing crimes because they always have to deal with cops going, cup the shit! 1.00

00:28:28.000 So it develops that way. 1.00

00:28:30.000 So let's go back.

00:28:31.000 I picked the most hateable guy by saying the guy who ran on the field.

00:28:35.000 Yeah, that's not a good example.

00:28:36.000 But the 11-year-old girl got tasered. 0.99

00:28:37.000 Going back to the retarded people. 1.00

00:28:40.000 Going back to kids and shit like that. 1.00

00:28:42.000 It's like... 0.92

00:28:43.000 Because I have met a lot of...

00:28:44.000 Well, wait a minute. 0.96

00:28:44.000 What about retarded people that are violent? 0.96

00:28:47.000 You say retarded, but I mean, you mean Down syndrome?

00:28:50.000 Yeah, there were stories of like...

00:28:51.000 They can be really strong.

00:28:53.000 Sure, but they have the mental capacity of a child, and then they have no weapons or anything.

00:28:58.000 It's just like they're not doing what the cops are telling them to do.

00:29:00.000 Yeah, when you see a dude who's mentally ill and he's lifting weights, what good can come out of that? 1.00

00:29:05.000 He gets even stronger.

00:29:06.000 Maybe he could be a superhero.

00:29:10.000 I don't think you should let mentally handicapped people lift weights. 1.00

00:29:13.000 Is that a bad thing to say?

00:29:14.000 I'm sure it is.

00:29:16.000 It probably is, right?

00:29:16.000 It's probably super offensive.

00:29:18.000 Mainly because we're in the kettlebell selling business, people.

00:29:20.000 Yeah, but I'm not sure if you want...

00:29:22.000 Unless they're really cool...

00:29:24.000 But if you had them, then they're really aggro.

00:29:26.000 So you should have a conversation with them and just be like, so what kind of music can you do, man?

00:29:29.000 Like, what do you think about first dates?

00:29:33.000 When should a girl put out? 1.00

00:29:34.000 And it just gets violent.

00:29:35.000 Right now, right away!

00:29:38.000 Take the kettlebells away.

00:29:39.000 Yeah, you can't get any stronger, dude.

00:29:42.000 What I was going to say about the white shirts is, you know, yeah, once you have that sort of...

00:29:48.000 Us versus them. 1.00

00:29:50.000 The us versus them permeates, man. 0.83

00:29:52.000 I used to work as a security guard.

00:29:54.000 At a concert place.

00:29:56.000 And one of the first days I was there, this guy, his name was Alley Cat. 0.69

00:30:00.000 He was this crazy dude.

00:30:03.000 This kid stole a golf cart and they tackled the kid and got on top of him and beat him with a walkie-talkie. 0.65

00:30:12.000 I mean, it was pretty intense.

00:30:14.000 This was one of my first days on the job. 0.99

00:30:16.000 And I was like, alright, I guess I know how shit goes down here. 0.99

00:30:19.000 These guys were not fucking around. 1.00

00:30:21.000 He had a group of psychopaths working for him. 1.00

00:30:24.000 And that was the whole concert security. 0.64

00:30:26.000 They were just down to...

00:30:27.000 I mean, they weren't, like, assaulting people. 1.00

00:30:30.000 It was only assholes. 0.99

00:30:31.000 I mean, someone had to do something, take a swing at them first. 1.00

00:30:33.000 But they were excited to fuck up drunk people that were assholes. 1.00

00:30:38.000 I mean, they never did anything that was illegal. 1.00

00:30:41.000 Everything they did was completely legal for the job.

00:30:43.000 But our job, essentially, I got hired, and it was me and...

00:30:47.000 Nine black belts from my Taekwondo Academy.

00:30:50.000 So that was the whole security team.

00:30:51.000 It was the Taekwondo Academy and Alley Cat and his buddies.

00:30:55.000 Your guys' competition team and the walkie-talkie guy. 0.98

00:30:57.000 Yeah, but Alley Cat and his buddies were these big fucking hockey player looking dudes. 0.97

00:31:02.000 They were tough-ass Boston dudes. 0.97

00:31:04.000 And they had been working in the security business for years. 0.99

00:31:06.000 They were just down to fuck people up. 0.97

00:31:07.000 They weren't necessarily like martial arts, trained martial artists. 0.99

00:31:10.000 But you know, they knew how to fight. 0.99

00:31:11.000 They were ready to fuck people up. 1.00

00:31:12.000 So it was the most ridiculous setup ever. 1.00

00:31:15.000 These drunk, idiot concertgoers surrounded by trained killers who are led by a complete psychopath who encouraged you to fuck up people who stepped out of line. 1.00

00:31:26.000 Hey, rent-a-cop, what are you doing with your walkie-talkie? 1.00

00:31:28.000 Stop it! 0.99

00:31:29.000 Yeah, well, if you were fucking around, man, he would beat your ass. 1.00

00:31:33.000 But you developed that mentality. 1.00

00:31:36.000 Totally.

00:31:36.000 From there, I noticed that mentality.

00:31:38.000 A real commonplace analogy is whenever you're a pedestrian walking around New York, and you're like, these fucking idiot taxis and stuff like that, and then you're in a cab or a car, and you're like, fucking run them over, these asshole pedestrians. 1.00

00:31:49.000 Where it's like, yeah, you just get into this fucking moat. 1.00

00:31:51.000 And here's the thing. 0.98

00:31:51.000 When we were at NATO, which erupted for the protests in Chicago, the first day, the cops were actually like, the cops I talked to were super chill. 0.98

00:32:01.000 Where one dude saw I had a jiu-jitsu shirt on, and he's like, where are you trained, man?

00:32:04.000 And we just talked about jiu-jitsu.

00:32:06.000 That's such a common thing with people.

00:32:08.000 If you find someone that trains...

00:32:11.000 When you train, it's like automatically.

00:32:13.000 It's like, I know I can probably talk to this guy.

00:32:14.000 How long have you been?

00:32:15.000 You're a purple belt?

00:32:16.000 Oh.

00:32:17.000 I've been wearing jiu-jitsu shirts ever since the podcast.

00:32:21.000 It's a good move, man.

00:32:22.000 Maybe the cops won't beat you as hard.

00:32:24.000 No, right. 0.82

00:32:25.000 I'm going to fake tase you, bro.

00:32:26.000 Or it'll just be like an awesome... 0.99

00:32:27.000 It'll be like, you can start in half guard, and then I'm going to tase you to death. 0.98

00:32:29.000 I'm going to beat you with my walkie-talkie.

00:32:31.000 Just don't run on the baseball fields.

00:32:33.000 That's all I'm saying, folks.

00:32:34.000 I don't think cops should be tasing old ladies. 1.00

00:32:36.000 We had a thing in NATO where it actually was a white shirt that stuck up.

00:32:42.000 My partner on Citizen Radio, my wife, is much more realistic. 0.98

00:32:45.000 Sometimes I get idealistic, and she's like, right, but if you're going to stop being stupid about it, and I'm like, oh, you're right. 0.99

00:32:52.000 You're more lefty hippie than her? 1.00

00:32:55.000 No, she's much more of a... 1.00

00:32:59.000 I'm kind of like, maybe we can all get along.

00:33:01.000 And she's like, or maybe we should learn how to fire a gun.

00:33:05.000 Well, you know what?

00:33:05.000 When you're a woman, I think, you know, dealing with the idea that the other side of the coin is always going to be stronger.

00:33:12.000 The other sex is always stronger, more aggressive, more dangerous. 1.00

00:33:16.000 And the chances of a woman doing your harm versus the chances of a man doing your harm.

00:33:21.000 Are staggeringly different. 1.00

00:33:24.000 So just growing up like that, I think you automatically realize, no, you need a fucking gun. 1.00

00:33:30.000 You're in a zoo filled with wild chimps. 1.00

00:33:34.000 That's what humanity is.

00:33:36.000 I've got to go back to the story, but even like... 0.99

00:33:39.000 There's so much shit that I just like being a girl. 1.00

00:33:43.000 If you're a woman, you probably can't go to a family reunion without having your tits like that. 1.00

00:33:48.000 Do you know what I mean? 1.00

00:33:48.000 Probably. 1.00

00:33:49.000 And thinking about creepy uncles that might have touched you inappropriately or squeezed your butt when you were 10 or did something. 0.99

00:33:55.000 And who knows what worse. 0.95

00:33:57.000 Or all the kids that you did it to.

00:33:59.000 How dare you, Brian?

00:34:00.000 How dare you, Brian? 1.00

00:34:02.000 I just became an uncle and all I want to do is be the cool uncle, but I'm like, man, too many uncles fucked kids. 0.99

00:34:07.000 There's no cool uncle connotation. 0.99

00:34:09.000 It's all creepy uncle connotation.

00:34:10.000 Yeah, I mean, you can't look at it as an uncle.

00:34:12.000 You've got to look at it as you're their friend and you love them. 1.00

00:34:15.000 You know, fuck labels. 1.00

00:34:16.000 Just because some other old dude tried to diddle. 1.00

00:34:20.000 So with the NATO thing, it was crazy.

00:34:25.000 So, like, Allison and I actually got, like, the closest...

00:34:29.000 Pretty much I thought this, like, white cop, I thought I, like, charmed him.

00:34:32.000 And what happened was we kept, like, breaking through the police lines for some reason.

00:34:38.000 And in New York, usually what happens is protesters on one side, cops on one side.

00:34:43.000 Either a protester moves or a cop moves.

00:34:45.000 Something happens.

00:34:47.000 The police swarm in.

00:34:48.000 They start tackling some kid.

00:34:49.000 And what was great about New York is there was this, like, camaraderie among all the journalists where suddenly you had 50 journalists, like the cops right here.

00:34:56.000 You had 50 journalists over taking pictures, asking what the kid's name is.

00:34:59.000 You had lawyers.

00:35:00.000 The lawyers' guilds would wear hats so people knew the lawyers.

00:35:03.000 They would run to the front.

00:35:04.000 Jesus Christ! 1.00

00:35:05.000 This is like some old school gangs of New York type shit. 1.00

00:35:08.000 It was. 1.00

00:35:08.000 It's like some gang warfare. 1.00

00:35:10.000 Dude, I'll show you a picture after the show that I have to find on my phone where it's just like, it was the anarchists, the black block, and it was just a banner that said, fuck the police, and they were here, and the police were here. 0.98

00:35:20.000 And some of the cops were like, eh, they don't mean it. 0.92

00:35:23.000 But anyway, so...

00:35:24.000 Wow.

00:35:25.000 We're used to the report. 1.00

00:35:26.000 They had banners that said, fuck the police? 1.00

00:35:27.000 I only saw it once. 1.00

00:35:28.000 That wasn't like an Occupy thing.

00:35:29.000 That was like a side, like, Occupy is not hardcore enough for us.

00:35:33.000 Pfft.

00:35:34.000 Right.

00:35:34.000 What do you think about the people that believe that a lot of that is actually people that are cops undercover?

00:35:40.000 Oh, I've seen it.

00:35:41.000 You've seen it?

00:35:42.000 Oh, totally.

00:35:42.000 What did you see?

00:35:43.000 The instigators or – I haven't seen – I've only seen videos and read articles about the cops actually being the ones that started the violence.

00:35:51.000 What is the term for that?

00:35:53.000 On tour, what is it?

00:35:56.000 Agent Provocateur.

00:35:57.000 Provocateur, yeah. 1.00

00:35:58.000 And yeah, that shit's happened. 1.00

00:36:00.000 I mean, I remember just undercover cops. 0.99

00:36:02.000 They're usually fairly obvious.

00:36:04.000 We interviewed two that were convinced.

00:36:06.000 Really?

00:36:06.000 Well, because it was just a tall dude with a crew cut who had a Rage Against the Machine shirt.

00:36:09.000 And I was like, come on, man.

00:36:11.000 You can't just put on a banned shirt.

00:36:13.000 He was like 6'2".

00:36:15.000 The only thing that was missing was his badge and gun.

00:36:18.000 Yeah.

00:36:21.000 Did you smell like a cop?

00:36:23.000 Totally. 1.00

00:36:23.000 And he was with a friend who looked the same way, looked like a fucking college wrestler, short, stocky, and he had a fucking Nirvana shirt on. 1.00

00:36:30.000 It was ridiculous. 0.99

00:36:31.000 And so we were like, let's just interview him. 0.68

00:36:34.000 Maybe they'll be really cool or maybe they'll clearly be cops.

00:36:38.000 This was in Times Square, so the majority of people there.

00:36:41.000 The march, there wasn't that much.

00:36:44.000 They announced it, and then it happened pretty quickly.

00:36:47.000 It wasn't a big month thing where people were going to be flying in.

00:36:50.000 We were like, so are you guys from the city?

00:36:51.000 They're like, no, we're from Niagara Falls, New York, and we just took a bus.

00:36:57.000 Their story was really detailed.

00:36:59.000 We took a bus down, just hit the open road trying to find ourselves, and we're just like, oh, wait a second.

00:37:05.000 And you're like, oh, Jimmy here is getting married next week. 0.99

00:37:08.000 It was just super fucking ridiculous. 0.98

00:37:11.000 You know, it would be a really funny show to have a show just called Liars. 0.99

00:37:16.000 We just have people try to pretend to fit in with different organizations, like fit in with Occupy.

00:37:25.000 Hey guys, let's do something violent, am I right? 1.00

00:37:30.000 Fuck the police, man. 1.00

00:37:31.000 The fucking police are pigs, okay? 1.00

00:37:33.000 Let's get Al-Qaeda on the phone, am I right? 1.00

00:37:35.000 Yeah, what's up, bro?

00:37:36.000 I know how to make a bomb.

00:37:37.000 Hey, I saw Rage Against the Machine.

00:37:39.000 I can view the plans for a bomb on my Sprint 4G. So you saw some people you definitely believe were cops.

00:37:47.000 Oh, I mean, well, because you'd see them later in plainclothes talking to the cops.

00:37:51.000 Wow.

00:37:52.000 Yeah, and so...

00:37:53.000 And they would just infiltrate and try to, like...

00:37:55.000 Well, a lot of times, I mean, they're...

00:37:58.000 A lot of them, there's no evidence that they're placed there to be agent provocateurs, but they are trying to get information. 0.97

00:38:05.000 There were stories, The Guardian wrote a piece a little while ago about cops going undercover with activists and fucking them. 1.00

00:38:12.000 Just fucking these girls. 1.00

00:38:14.000 Really? 1.00

00:38:17.000 It's probably a lot of low-hanging fruit.

00:38:19.000 Lost hippies. 1.00

00:38:20.000 Probably a lot of smelly pussies. 1.00

00:38:22.000 Dude, it's like he's hippie, but yet he's still oddly alpha. 1.00

00:38:25.000 What's going on here?

00:38:26.000 He smells like cologne.

00:38:27.000 A lot of yeast infections going on in there.

00:38:29.000 You think so?

00:38:30.000 Probably a lot of camping.

00:38:34.000 So the cops were banging the chicks. 1.00

00:38:36.000 How could you stop them? 1.00

00:38:38.000 Everybody likes a little hippie pussy. 1.00

00:38:39.000 Is this where we need our undercover cops? 1.00

00:38:43.000 Do you remember during the lead up to the war in Iraq?

00:38:46.000 There were literally groups with peace in the title.

00:38:49.000 It was like, old ladies for peace. 0.99

00:38:50.000 And there'd be fucking narc showing up. 0.99

00:38:52.000 And it's like, dude, peace is in the title. 0.99

00:38:53.000 Like, you know what I mean? 1.00

00:38:54.000 Like, there are real fucking criminals out there. 1.00

00:38:57.000 How about violent protesters for peace? 1.00

00:38:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:39:01.000 Right. 0.72

00:39:02.000 We don't want to hurt the Iraqis, but we really want to hurt cops. 1.00

00:39:06.000 Cops. 0.99

00:39:07.000 White cops. 0.97

00:39:08.000 White cops with crew cuts. 0.71

00:39:10.000 Oh, so this dude with... 0.98

00:39:12.000 This white shirt actually saved our ass, so he was one of the guys I was talking to the day before, and we were kind of friendly, and so we knew I was pressed. 0.99

00:39:19.000 By the way, we're not saying we want to hurt white cops with crew cuts, just for any idiot that listened to that. 0.99

00:39:23.000 We're being a fake character. 1.00

00:39:25.000 Like someone sitting there, and they're like, got it. 1.00

00:39:27.000 We're talking about an idiot thinking that, not talking, okay? 1.00

00:39:30.000 That is crazy. 1.00

00:39:31.000 You have to preface that shit. 1.00

00:39:32.000 You gotta do it, because someone can take a fucking sound clip of that, and you know, they fucking hate white cops with crew cuts. 1.00

00:39:39.000 We're living in a world filled with dumb dumb dumb dumbs. 1.00

00:39:43.000 That's part of the problem and some of them get to be cops. 1.00

00:39:46.000 And the real problem is not cops. 1.00

00:39:49.000 The real problem is just a staggering amount of stupid fucking assholes that are in every walk of life, man. 1.00

00:39:55.000 It's ego, too. 1.00

00:39:56.000 We had a friend in New York who used to do the psychological evaluations for the first level for police training.

00:40:04.000 And she would just tell us these stories where there was one dude...

00:40:07.000 I'm trying to remember the exact line.

00:40:09.000 The question was pretty easy, where it was like, why do you want to be a police officer?

00:40:13.000 And take in mind, you're being interviewed to be a cop.

00:40:15.000 This is the one time you just don't be crazy.

00:40:18.000 That's all you have to do to answer that.

00:40:20.000 Why do you want to be a cop?

00:40:21.000 Protect people.

00:40:22.000 All done.

00:40:23.000 Just don't be crazy for like 10 seconds.

00:40:25.000 She goes, why do you want to be a cop?

00:40:26.000 And he goes, so I can finally get the respect I deserve.

00:40:31.000 Oh my god.

00:40:32.000 What? 0.98

00:40:33.000 It's like that's the dude who's gonna fucking curb stomp somebody. 1.00

00:40:37.000 That's the dumbest answer ever. 1.00

00:40:41.000 But it's like how crazy are you that you couldn't even stifle that for the fucking interview? 1.00

00:40:45.000 Isn't it Brian? 0.99

00:40:46.000 I guess. 0.99

00:40:47.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00

00:40:48.000 Fucking so ridiculous. 1.00

00:40:49.000 Totally like ridiculous. 1.00

00:40:51.000 The dumbest answer ever is if I could finally get the respect I deserve. 1.00

00:40:55.000 What? 1.00

00:40:56.000 Fuck some people up. 1.00

00:40:59.000 I hate that because I think that cops are important. 1.00

00:41:03.000 I hate that because I think that there's a real legitimate place for the police force.

00:41:08.000 It should be hard to get into the police force.

00:41:11.000 Do you remember when you were a kid?

00:41:13.000 I just remember being a kid.

00:41:14.000 My perception of cops, mainly because of the war on drugs.

00:41:16.000 I grew up with a cop.

00:41:17.000 My dad was a cop.

00:41:18.000 I don't know him.

00:41:19.000 He was very violent.

00:41:22.000 My perception of the cops might be a little more realistic. 0.98

00:41:24.000 Well, because I grew up in suburbia and they would be our crossing guards and shit like that. 0.85

00:41:30.000 And so I grew up being like, right, of course you trust the police. 0.93

00:41:33.000 They're here to help.

00:41:34.000 And then the older I got, I just see my friends get jacked up for having a dime bag of weed or whatever. 0.99

00:41:41.000 Because it was just bored fucking bully cops. 0.96

00:41:43.000 I don't remember too much about my childhood. 0.99

00:41:45.000 But I do specifically remember my father beating the fuck out of a teenage kid once.

00:41:52.000 I forget what he did. 0.81

00:41:53.000 I don't remember the exact details of it.

00:41:55.000 But it wasn't like murder.

00:41:56.000 No, but he picked him up by his hair.

00:41:59.000 He was a scary guy, and he was a cop, so I grew up with that guy.

00:42:04.000 Yeah, and it's like, well, if that's how...

00:42:05.000 Well, not really grew up until I was like six.

00:42:07.000 Right. 0.99

00:42:07.000 But that's one of those things where I was like, fuck, man, if that's how he treats his family... 0.99

00:42:10.000 Like, what the fuck is going on out there? 1.00

00:42:12.000 Growing up like that, I always assumed everybody was crazy. 1.00

00:42:16.000 I always assumed that everyone... 0.99

00:42:18.000 When you have a father that has a fuse that's like a half an inch long, and it'll just explode on someone and beat the shit out of someone in front of you. 0.99

00:42:26.000 Jesus. 0.99

00:42:27.000 When you have that, you assume everybody has it.

00:42:30.000 Right, of course.

00:42:31.000 So I never looked at cops like, well, this cop is here to protect me. 0.51

00:42:34.000 I'm like, this cop could be crazy like my dad. 0.99

00:42:37.000 I had to get the fuck out of here, right? 0.99

00:42:39.000 People can get nasty with you when they, you know, think about how mad people are at little simple things in road rage. 0.99

00:42:46.000 Little simple things, like you missed your exit and you try to get in front of them. 0.99

00:42:49.000 And they'll fucking honk their horn. 0.99

00:42:51.000 Use their mind. 0.99

00:42:51.000 And make it seem like they've never done that before. 0.99

00:42:53.000 Of you've never barely made the exit and tried to cut over.

00:42:57.000 And there was enough space.

00:42:58.000 It's not like you had a slam on your brakes.

00:43:00.000 You almost died.

00:43:01.000 You relaxed.

00:43:02.000 I was going to the airport.

00:43:04.000 I was taking the train from Penn Station.

00:43:06.000 And I bumped shoulders with just this dude in a suit.

00:43:09.000 Looked like a normal dude.

00:43:10.000 And he just started screaming.

00:43:13.000 And I was like, dude, you gotta walk away from this.

00:43:15.000 I've never had that level...

00:43:18.000 Like, the only times I've, like, almost gotten into an altercation is like, alright, do I have to defend somebody?

00:43:22.000 Or do I have to defend myself?

00:43:23.000 Well, you have a completely different occupation.

00:43:25.000 If you're doing something that you hate all day, which is what I'm saying with these cops, you're running into them.

00:43:29.000 They're already at nine.

00:43:30.000 So that's a really good point, right?

00:43:31.000 Where, like, a lot of the protesters who were trying to reason with these cops are just like, dude, we are fighting so you can get pensions. 0.99

00:43:37.000 So you're fucking... 0.98

00:43:38.000 Benefits aren't going to get taken away. 1.00

00:43:40.000 And the problem with the cops is they should be getting paid a shitload of money.

00:43:44.000 For any cop who has already turned this off and was like, Kielstein, huh? 0.67

00:43:47.000 And has left.

00:43:48.000 If there are friends around, please play this part as well.

00:43:51.000 They should be getting paid so much more. 0.99

00:43:53.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:43:55.000 The same as a manager awarded a shitty retail job. 1.00

00:43:58.000 Of course you're going to be fucking angry. 0.99

00:44:00.000 I had a friend who I do jujitsu with who when we first started talking about Occupy, he's a cop. 0.98

00:44:05.000 When we first started talking about Occupy, he was like, yeah, I totally support him and they have the right to be down there and blah, blah, blah.

00:44:11.000 And then by the time it was like three months in, And he got dragged down and they're not making overtime and shit like that. 1.00

00:44:17.000 Suddenly a kid runs behind the barrier and this guy's like, fuck that kid. 0.99

00:44:21.000 I'm not even getting fucking paid what I should be getting paid for this. 1.00

00:44:23.000 Fuck that kid. 1.00

00:44:24.000 And then he tackles him. 1.00

00:44:25.000 And then everyone sees him and a lot of the protesters assume, well, that guy is a fucking asshole. 1.00

00:44:31.000 He's the problem. 1.00

00:44:32.000 And it's like, well, he was on your side a couple months ago, but he's getting dicked around by his fucking bosses who don't have to be out there and who are making way more fucking money and who are like, Essentially, career politicians, not even fucking cops, you know what I mean? 0.99

00:44:46.000 It's going to breed so much fucking resentment towards everyone. 0.96

00:44:51.000 But in reality, it's just like, again, unless you're making billions of fucking dollars, anytime you see a protester and you scream, get a job, even though a lot of them fucking have jobs, they're teachers and nurses, and they're just not making enough money. 0.98

00:45:01.000 Or they have a shred of fucking empathy, which so many people seem to lack nowadays. 0.96

00:45:06.000 When you see them, it's like they're sticking up for you. 0.99

00:45:08.000 They want to make sure you don't fucking have to suddenly start paying a shitload for Medicare for your grandmother. 0.80

00:45:15.000 Yeah, it's putting people in a very unnatural situation and asking them to behave normally. 0.98

00:45:21.000 Both cops and protesters.

00:45:23.000 Putting people in a situation where...

00:45:25.000 The cops have to listen to... 0.99

00:45:27.000 Look, not every protestor is fucking smart. 1.00

00:45:29.000 You know how many protesters are saying dumb shit to the cops all day? 1.00

00:45:33.000 And the cops are stuck in traffic, getting over there, their job sucks. 1.00

00:45:36.000 It's a dangerous fucking creepy job being the enemy, folks. 0.99

00:45:39.000 It's a dangerous creepy job. 0.98

00:45:41.000 So it's an unnatural position that most people should not be asked to be in.

00:45:46.000 But I completely agree that cops should be paid a fuckload of money as should teachers. 0.93

00:45:51.000 Those are two things that is a sign of a sick society. 0.98

00:45:55.000 If you look at the way we spend money on foreign wars and this idea of policing places we're never gonna fucking visit that have been that way for thousands of years. 1.00

00:46:05.000 Fuck you! 1.00

00:46:06.000 To do that and not want to spend money on schools and not want to spend money on cops. 1.00

00:46:10.000 It's just indicative of how corrupt our society is.

00:46:14.000 We have the money.

00:46:15.000 If everybody just worked and used their resources the way we would want them used, if we used our resources in this country the way that people would actually vote on, if we could all vote on what percentage of money should be put on national defense, what percentage should be on education, you'd be amazed.

00:46:34.000 If we could decide, you'd be amazed at how quickly things could change.

00:46:38.000 It's a sign of corruption.

00:46:39.000 But what happens if we don't fund the education system? 0.99

00:46:41.000 Then we have a shitty education, more people drop out, and then they can join the fucking military and fight these wars. 0.99

00:46:46.000 Exactly, exactly. 0.99

00:46:47.000 It makes it easier.

00:46:47.000 I mean, that's the argument.

00:46:49.000 The argument is that it's weakened on purpose in order to make sure that they always have a steady supply of rubes to work for them and do their bidding.

00:46:55.000 I mean, you look at these poor communities. 0.97

00:46:56.000 For all these people who are like, get a fucking job, you know, all these people get a job. 0.99

00:47:00.000 It's like, because there haven't been jobs in their fucking community. 0.99

00:47:01.000 They can't buy produce in their community. 1.00

00:47:03.000 There haven't been jobs there for years except for fucking drug dealing and their dad was arrested for drug dealing so then this kid had to take care of his fucking mother, right? 0.99

00:47:11.000 So then he ends up drug dealing and then fucking he goes to jail and then you get out of jail and what? 0.99

00:47:15.000 You're just going to start fucking applying to Ivy League schools? 0.99

00:47:17.000 You're going to look for like internships in the media business? 1.00

00:47:20.000 Like of course you're going to fucking drug deal because that's the only way to put money on your – To feed your family. 0.99

00:47:26.000 Yeah, people have to accept that other folks get a real bad roll of the dice and you start off on shit street. 0.99

00:47:31.000 And there's not much you can do about that but imitate your atmosphere in order to try to get by in life. 0.75

00:47:35.000 That is a lot of our problem in this world.

00:47:38.000 It is not the children that are committing crimes that are the problem.

00:47:41.000 It's how these children get into this position where they can commit crimes. 1.00

00:47:45.000 What the fuck is going on? 1.00

00:47:46.000 Well, what's going on is there's a shit education and there's a fucking shit community. 1.00

00:47:51.000 And there's a bunch of people that are constantly involved in crime, and that is the roll of the dice these poor people got. 1.00

00:47:57.000 What we have to figure out as a society is how to improve the weakest areas of our foundation, the weakest areas of our structure.

00:48:04.000 And the weakest area clearly are the areas of impoverished people that are filled with crime.

00:48:08.000 We need to fix those.

00:48:09.000 And until you fix those...

00:48:12.000 You're not really trying to make a better America. 1.00

00:48:14.000 You're just being an asshole. 1.00

00:48:16.000 You're just wasting our tax dollars doing shit the corporations want you to do because they've paid you and that's how they got you into office. 1.00

00:48:22.000 Well, I mean, the heads of these corporations are paying less in taxes than all of your listeners are. 0.97

00:48:28.000 Yeah.

00:48:28.000 And that's what's so crazy is they say, well, I did this.

00:48:32.000 It was the free market.

00:48:32.000 The government didn't make this job, right?

00:48:34.000 But it's like, right, but they paid for the roads you took to get there.

00:48:37.000 They paid for the police that protected your corporation from being robbed.

00:48:41.000 They pay for, you know, maybe your kids went to public school, but I doubt it.

00:48:45.000 But parks, I mean.

00:48:46.000 Here's the real issue that people have, the people that don't want to pay more taxes.

00:48:52.000 Here's the issue that people have.

00:48:53.000 The number one, the most prevalent point is they don't want lazy people to get free money.

00:48:59.000 That is it.

00:49:00.000 And that is a real point.

00:49:02.000 And that's being ignored by the left and to a certain extent because we really do have to look at the welfare mindset because it is a terrible psychological mindset.

00:49:11.000 But compare the The people you're describing are out there, for sure.

00:49:17.000 There's a lot of them, man.

00:49:18.000 But they hail in comparison to the amount of kids you were just talking about who were born into poverty.

00:49:26.000 I completely agree, but I don't think that money, just pushing money in their hands is the way to handle it.

00:49:33.000 It's a lazy way of approaching it.

00:49:35.000 But at the same time, you lose your job, for example, right?

00:49:41.000 You lose your job, you lose your benefits.

00:49:45.000 Back before the Affordable Care Act, which I have problems with, again, before anyone through this, before the Affordable Care Act, you couldn't re-get health insurance if, let's say you were sick, let's say you had cancer, because that was a pre-existing condition. 0.98

00:49:56.000 So now you got fired, you're not getting any money, or maybe even if you are getting welfare money, but now suddenly you have to pay for your own fucking cancer treatment. 0.95

00:50:05.000 And so then what happens? 0.98

00:50:06.000 Well, he doesn't have insurance.

00:50:06.000 So then he goes to the hospital.

00:50:08.000 They have to see him. 0.99

00:50:09.000 And if he can't fucking pay, then the hospital pays for it. 0.99

00:50:12.000 And we're just losing more and more money. 0.99

00:50:15.000 Yes.

00:50:15.000 Here's the issue with what you just brought up.

00:50:17.000 You just brought up an artificial scenario.

00:50:19.000 I can bring you up another one.

00:50:21.000 Here's a woman. 1.00

00:50:21.000 She never works. 1.00

00:50:22.000 She keeps having children.

00:50:23.000 The more children she has, the more money she gets. 1.00

00:50:25.000 Her kids all become criminals.

00:50:27.000 This is me and my wife. 1.00

00:50:29.000 They're all being raised by idiots in a terrible environment, and everyone's on welfare and food stamps, and people don't want their money to continue to go to that. 1.00

00:50:36.000 Sure. 1.00

00:50:36.000 There's that, too. 1.00

00:50:37.000 There's that, that you're looking at welfare as sponsoring a criminal organization.

00:50:40.000 But what happens if there's kids, right?

00:50:41.000 Right, but I don't necessarily think that sending them a check is the way to do it.

00:50:46.000 I'm not saying that they don't deserve attention.

00:50:48.000 They most certainly do.

00:50:49.000 I have always said, and I say it on this podcast all the time, that if you want to make the country a better place, The first thing you've got to do is make sure there's less losers.

00:50:56.000 So you have to find children and give them hope. 0.91

00:50:59.000 And so you've got to give a kid who, you know, has got a shit roll of the dice and give them an opportunity.

00:51:05.000 And I think there's plenty of people and plenty of resources to accomplish that. 0.92

00:51:10.000 And I think it should be our number one goal as Americans.

00:51:12.000 If we really truly consider this a tribe, if we really are a tribe of 300 million people, We can't ignore the shittiest part of the tribe.

00:51:19.000 But money is not the answer.

00:51:21.000 Spending money on programs and education and having community centers and giving them a sense of community, building up a sense of community, making sure that everyone has food, okay? 0.84

00:51:31.000 Taking that out of the equation so people don't have to worry about fucking starving to death. 0.86

00:51:35.000 I'm 100% for that. 0.97

00:51:36.000 But just giving them a check, I don't agree with that.

00:51:39.000 I think maybe we should set up places where they can all...

00:51:42.000 Like community centers where anyone can eat at any time.

00:51:44.000 Yeah, you want job placement centers and stuff like that.

00:51:46.000 Yeah, I want education.

00:51:47.000 I want a place where you can go there and there's a boxing coach.

00:51:50.000 There's a guy who can teach you jiu-jitsu.

00:51:52.000 Oh, totally.

00:51:52.000 You know, like where kids can have something where they can have a positive place to put their energy and you can develop good human beings.

00:52:01.000 So, I mean, we are on the same page.

00:52:03.000 We are on the same page.

00:52:04.000 We are on the same page of helping people that need help.

00:52:06.000 Especially people that just got unfortunate and people that are sick, 100%.

00:52:10.000 I think that should be, again, a part of a tribe.

00:52:15.000 But don't give...

00:52:16.000 All of my friends in my, you know, whatever we call death squad or immediate...

00:52:20.000 If any one of my friends was ever in a situation where they needed money for anything and I had that money, I would spend it immediately.

00:52:28.000 Well, this is why I came here today.

00:52:30.000 But you know what I'm saying?

00:52:31.000 Several proposals.

00:52:32.000 But you know what I'm saying?

00:52:33.000 That's how we should feel as a community.

00:52:36.000 100%.

00:52:36.000 When we have an issue, like, you know the issue with this comic who was hurt in the Aurora shooting house?

00:52:43.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:52:43.000 The comic community is rallying around.

00:52:45.000 They're doing a bunch of benefits for this kid.

00:52:47.000 It's great.

00:52:47.000 Yeah.

00:52:48.000 And they're donating money to his family, and it's beautiful.

00:52:51.000 And so how do we do that on a larger scale?

00:52:54.000 Education.

00:52:54.000 I think the answer...

00:52:56.000 Because, yeah, of course.

00:52:58.000 You're not supposed to give homeless alcoholics money so they don't buy alcohol.

00:53:04.000 You're supposed to take them to a shelter or call a shelter.

00:53:06.000 Don't give a man a fish. 0.94

00:53:07.000 I do agree.

00:53:08.000 You don't want those lazy people getting checks or kettlebells, as we discussed earlier.

00:53:13.000 What we need, dude, is a shift in the way human beings approach each other.

00:53:18.000 The way we're taught we can approach each other and the way that will benefit us, individuals.

00:53:25.000 But I think that's why Occupy got so popular because, you know, it wasn't just resentment because you're wealthy.

00:53:31.000 You know what I mean?

00:53:32.000 I think, like, Chael had that quote where he was saying that, like, liberals don't – liberals don't – like, they – Something like, they hate wealthy people.

00:53:42.000 It wasn't like, you know, it made it more of like, oh, we're jealous, we just don't like you for being rich. 1.00

00:53:46.000 That's bullshit. 0.99

00:53:47.000 If you get rich ethically, good for you. 1.00

00:53:50.000 Like, that's great.

00:53:51.000 You say that, and that's nice, and you have a very good point of view. 1.00

00:53:54.000 However, there's a lot of morons who adopted the, if you're rich, you did it off the backs of other people. 0.99

00:54:01.000 I've faced it as an entertainer. 1.00

00:54:03.000 Oh, I know.

00:54:03.000 Everything I've done is just try to make people laugh.

00:54:06.000 I mean, everything I do for money.

00:54:07.000 I'm trying to make people laugh, trying to explain Jiu Jitsu.

00:54:10.000 I'm not hurting anybody, but yet people will be upset at me personally because I've made money.

00:54:15.000 I've had that argument. 0.97

00:54:17.000 I had a couple people who, and then I'll get to the positive point, but I had a couple people who, and we have tens of thousands of liberal kids who listen to us, and maybe this was like four or five tweets, but they were so obnoxious that those were the ones I fucking focused on. 0.96

00:54:29.000 Of course.

00:54:30.000 Where I did Conan, which have not been invited back.

00:54:34.000 I talked about drone strikes, criticized Obama.

00:54:36.000 And on the same episode, I was like, I wonder why they got so much hate mail.

00:54:40.000 And then the other guests, it was some child star and Kobe Bryant.

00:54:44.000 And I was like, oh, that makes sense.

00:54:45.000 That's not really my crowd.

00:54:47.000 And so talking about drone strikes, did literally everything I could. 0.98

00:54:50.000 To make it as different and edgy, just walk the fucking line as close as I could. 0.95

00:54:55.000 And someone immediately was like, yo bro, TBS is owned by this giant corporation. 1.00

00:55:01.000 And I'm like, go fuck yourself and die. 1.00

00:55:03.000 What am I supposed to do? 1.00

00:55:04.000 There are going to be those left of left, miserable people who wouldn't be happy unless it was like, this is Citizen Radio live from a box in an alley.

00:55:12.000 Someone please bring me food.

00:55:14.000 I'm really hungry.

00:55:15.000 And then they'd be like, yeah, man, Che Guevara.

00:55:17.000 They haven't sold out yet. 0.99

00:55:19.000 Would you get an apartment, you fucking sellout? 0.99

00:55:21.000 You get an apartment in the backs of your listeners? 1.00

00:55:24.000 Would I send you money so you talk and now you get a fucking apartment, dude? 1.00

00:55:28.000 Really? 1.00

00:55:29.000 I want you broadcasting from the emergency room, from emergency care.

00:55:32.000 I used to believe in you.

00:55:34.000 That's one of my favorite ones.

00:55:35.000 I used to believe in you, man.

00:55:37.000 You went to a subscription model, Jamie Kilstein. 0.99

00:55:42.000 You fucking sold out. 0.99

00:55:43.000 That's the thing. 1.00

00:55:44.000 I'm like, dude, we have made every terrible business decision to not sell out.

00:55:47.000 Like, every mistake.

00:55:47.000 We should be homeless a thousand times over.

00:55:49.000 We sell out the shit we love. 1.00

00:55:51.000 Well, and that's the difference, right? 1.00

00:55:53.000 We sell out to the flashlight.

00:55:54.000 We sell out to Onnit.

00:55:55.000 Yeah, we had one sponsor back in the day that we really like... 1.00

00:55:58.000 Legitimately supported and bought shit from. 0.97

00:56:00.000 So we were like, sure. 0.99

00:56:01.000 And of course, because they were ethical, they were like, we can't afford to pay anymore.

00:56:04.000 And I was like, right on.

00:56:05.000 You know, we were going back.

00:56:06.000 We were talking about the difference between the silent protest being so creepy and throwing glitter on people. 0.97

00:56:11.000 And I did want to say, I didn't want to stop your rant, but I did want to say that I fucking love when they throw glitter on people. 0.88

00:56:16.000 Have you seen the Tom Freeman pie? 0.97

00:56:18.000 No, I don't like pies.

00:56:19.000 Pies are rude. 1.00

00:56:20.000 But glitter on undercover gay dudes who are mean to other gay dudes, that shit is beautiful. 1.00

00:56:25.000 Marcus Bachman, man, when they glitter Marcus Bachman, I've been going back and forth on Twitter with the dudes who do it. 1.00

00:56:30.000 Oh really?

00:56:30.000 They send me tweets and emails whenever they catch them and they throw glitter on them.

00:56:33.000 They showed up at his place and dressed as barbarians. 0.99

00:56:37.000 And I fucking love that. 1.00

00:56:39.000 I love that. 0.99

00:56:39.000 Because Marcus Bachman, if you don't know who he is, his wife, Michelle Bachman, at one point in time, somehow or another they thought she was going to be a Sarah Palin type character, only even nuttier. 0.99

00:56:50.000 And they were going to try that out.

00:56:51.000 But we're not ready for this yet. 1.00

00:56:52.000 We're not ready for a lady who not only probably thinks the earth is 10,000 years old, but has a fucking gay husband. 1.00

00:56:59.000 Well, they have one of those gay conversion camps that he runs. 1.00

00:57:03.000 Yeah, he runs a pray the gay way camp. 0.99

00:57:05.000 Which, by the way, is like...

00:57:06.000 If you're a gay dude and you're looking to pick up guys, that's where you go. 1.00

00:57:09.000 Yeah, you're going to pray the gay away camp. 1.00

00:57:11.000 One of them, it was New York Times or Vanity Fair, did an undercover sort of a thing where they went there. 1.00

00:57:18.000 And they're all like, guys are hugging you from behind with their boners pressed into your ass. 1.00

00:57:22.000 No bullshit. 1.00

00:57:23.000 And they're praying the gay away. 1.00

00:57:25.000 And so these guys, I don't remember the name of the group, I apologize, but I thought it was fucking awesome. 0.99

00:57:31.000 A bunch of proud gay guys. 0.99

00:57:32.000 Just showed up at Marcus Bachman's Pray the Gay Away place dressed as barbarians. 1.00

00:57:38.000 And then they're throwing glitter on them whenever they see them. 0.99

00:57:41.000 I think that's fucking awesome. 0.99

00:57:43.000 It's a high time that that becomes ridiculous. 0.99

00:57:47.000 The two kids that... 0.94

00:57:51.000 The two guys who made up at the Rick Santorum rally came to my show in Chicago.

00:57:56.000 Apparently they didn't plan it.

00:57:57.000 They just went ironically to the Rick Santorum rally. 0.95

00:58:00.000 Were they gay?

00:58:01.000 Yeah, they were a couple.

00:58:03.000 It would be a real protest if they weren't. 1.00

00:58:06.000 Either way, they just start sucking each other's dicks. 1.00

00:58:08.000 Fuck you, Santorum. 1.00

00:58:09.000 Yo, yeah, Rick, check this out! 1.00

00:58:11.000 Hail Satan!

00:58:12.000 But here's what was so funny.

00:58:13.000 My favorite part about that was, so they're like big, they look like hockey players.

00:58:18.000 So like they stood up and I was like, I was like, are these dudes going to brawl?

00:58:20.000 Like they were just like these bearded. 0.89

00:58:22.000 And so they, so they stand up and they start making out.

00:58:27.000 And like the audience, you hear the audience at first are like, uh, uh, uh.

00:58:32.000 And like, They progressively just got more creeped out.

00:58:35.000 But then my favorite part is because it was Republicans, they didn't know what else to do.

00:58:38.000 So they just start chanting, USA! USA! Which doesn't even make sense.

00:58:43.000 So essentially all you see is a Rick Santorum rally.

00:58:45.000 Two dudes making out.

00:58:46.000 And it looks like everyone is rallying behind them.

00:58:48.000 They got punked.

00:58:49.000 Being like, America!

00:58:50.000 And then the kids left.

00:58:52.000 That's hilarious!

00:58:53.000 They took a Rick Santorum poster from the rally.

00:58:56.000 I made them sign it for us.

00:58:57.000 Is there a video of them chanting USA while those guys are kissing?

00:59:00.000 Oh yeah, totally.

00:59:01.000 Because that would be awesome.

00:59:02.000 It's the funniest thing. 0.79

00:59:03.000 They should have that for, like, gay America. 0.99

00:59:06.000 They should have a video. 0.98

00:59:08.000 Just show them kissing.

00:59:11.000 Where are the people?

00:59:14.000 I guess they're already...

00:59:16.000 Yeah, my buddies.

00:59:17.000 That's Dan Mondona Oh, they already channeled it They chanted USA after they were ejected. 1.00

00:59:31.000 What a dumb chant. 1.00

00:59:33.000 USA. This is USA, you fuckhead. 1.00

00:59:35.000 I know. 1.00

00:59:36.000 USA is gay people too. 1.00

00:59:37.000 That is so dumb. 1.00

00:59:39.000 But that's what they do when they panic. 1.00

00:59:41.000 It's just like, what country are we in again?

00:59:43.000 Right, USA. Yeah, let's just all be as dumb as possible. 1.00

00:59:46.000 USA. We'll just break it down to some letters and we all agree we're on the same team. 0.99

00:59:50.000 Okay, we're ready to go.

00:59:51.000 What does that even mean? 0.96

00:59:53.000 You can't interrupt a dummy who wants to be king by kissing. 0.97

00:59:57.000 You can't interrupt a dummy. 1.00

01:00:00.000 A silly dummy that has no right running the world. 1.00

01:00:04.000 No. 1.00

01:00:05.000 No, you crazy asshole who believes in old, ancient, stupid shit. 1.00

01:00:09.000 No, you can't run things. 1.00

01:00:11.000 And then here.

01:00:13.000 That blows my mind that religion is the one thing where you don't need I'm an atheist and when I first read the big atheist books and stuff, there was part of me that didn't want to go around and like, I don't know. 0.98

01:00:30.000 There is part of you, like, when you first read something that you had no idea and you're like, "Fuck, man, I've been lied to for so long," that you do want to take it to an extreme. 1.00

01:00:36.000 Or, like, if you see a kid who's like, "Merry Christmas," be like, "Fuck you, there is no Christmas, idiot," and, like, kick him over and be like, "Read Christopher Hitchens, asshole." But, like, then once you kind of calm down and, you know, you—people are going to be religious and, say, not hurt people or just because they believe in something and it makes them happier, it makes them feel whole, like, that's fine. 1.00

01:00:57.000 That's fine with me.

01:00:58.000 That is fine.

01:00:59.000 But the fact that you can make policy without proving there's a Jesus, without proving there's a God, you can make policy That hurts actual people.

01:01:08.000 Like, we're not positive about Jesus. 1.00

01:01:10.000 I'm positive there are dudes who suck cock. 1.00

01:01:13.000 Positive. 1.00

01:01:13.000 Positive there are girls with pussy. 1.00

01:01:15.000 Seen pictures of it. 1.00

01:01:16.000 There is evidence. 1.00

01:01:17.000 There's no picture of fucking Jesus. 1.00

01:01:19.000 there's absolutely picture of girls eating pussy. 1.00

01:01:21.000 Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom. 1.00

01:01:25.000 That, uh, that ring pattern.

01:01:26.000 Yeah, it's, well, it's, it's ridiculous that anybody should be able to ever enforce any behavior patterns on anybody else.

01:01:32.000 If, if their choice behavior patterns, if those behavior patterns don't hurt other people.

01:01:36.000 If your behavior patterns are you like to push people into the street, well, yeah, that should be eliminated.

01:01:41.000 What if you do it while going nom nom nom?

01:01:43.000 Well, maybe you'd be funny that way.

01:01:45.000 I don't know.

01:01:45.000 It depends on who you're pushing in the street.

01:01:46.000 What if you're pushing people who are assholes? 1.00

01:01:48.000 Right. 1.00

01:01:48.000 You know, if you're a vigilante. 1.00

01:01:50.000 While making that noise.

01:01:50.000 So you're doing something good and you're being kind of funny.

01:01:52.000 The pussy-eating punisher. 1.00

01:01:54.000 Push. 1.00

01:01:55.000 I don't get it. 0.99

01:01:56.000 What the fuck am I saying? 0.98

01:01:58.000 I think we have to look at our model of human behavior and we have to change it. 0.99

01:02:05.000 Yeah.

01:02:07.000 I had a revelation and it became like a bit that's in my act now.

01:02:11.000 But I really did have this revelation on a boat looking at some dolphins.

01:02:16.000 And I was thinking of how smart dolphins are.

01:02:19.000 What is it like to be a dolphin, like dolphin consciousness?

01:02:22.000 I was thinking how strange it is, like being a dolphin, like the way he thinks of himself is exactly the way I think of myself.

01:02:27.000 We're just trapped in different worlds.

01:02:29.000 Like I can manipulate things with my fingers and he has to kill things with his face.

01:02:32.000 And I thought about like, would I be him if I was a dolphin? 0.96

01:02:36.000 And then I thought about people and I was like, how fuck would it be if we are literally all the same thing and that we're looking at ourselves Through different life experiences. 0.98

01:02:45.000 We're looking at ourselves with different genetics. 0.98

01:02:47.000 But if you were that little kid with cerebral palsy, you would be him.

01:02:52.000 If you lived his life, you were born him, you would be him.

01:02:54.000 And if he lived your life, he would be you. 0.98

01:02:57.000 And it's like we are just a unique combination of hormones and life experiences combined with a soul and the entity, the consciousness, whatever the fuck it is, that has to go through life and make the decisions. 0.95

01:03:07.000 And how crazy would it be if we could realize that we Can be happy if we treat everybody that we meet, everybody that we deal with, as if it's us living another life. 0.78

01:03:19.000 And that doesn't mean no competition.

01:03:21.000 That doesn't mean no innovation.

01:03:23.000 That doesn't mean no competition as far as capitalism.

01:03:26.000 It doesn't mean, you know, we have to rely on some ridiculous commune system where nobody has any reward incentives.

01:03:32.000 Just don't start off being an addict. 1.00

01:03:33.000 Yeah, just don't be a fucking piece of shit. 1.00

01:03:35.000 Don't open by being an addict. 1.00

01:03:36.000 Treat the world as if it's you.

01:03:39.000 I swear to God, I think that's possible.

01:03:42.000 I think if you do good work, as long as we have a real economy, if we have a real market, if we really do manufacture things and create things that have merit, if we really can figure that out, if that's possible.

01:03:54.000 And that's what makes it a little trickier, because...

01:03:57.000 I'm not sure if we can really run a society like this without being corrupt.

01:04:01.000 Well, the problem is, it's like... 1.00

01:04:04.000 I really don't think that the majority of Americans are like racist, homophobic pieces of shit. 0.99

01:04:09.000 But a point that Allison writes about a lot is in times of economic struggle, that's when you see harsher immigration laws come down. 1.00

01:04:20.000 That's when you see more homophobia.

01:04:21.000 That's when you see more violence because it's always this other, right?

01:04:24.000 Because in America, you're told you can do whatever you want.

01:04:26.000 If you want to be a millionaire or if you want to be a successful entrepreneur, you can do it. 0.99

01:04:29.000 And then you don't do it, but you have some politician, some rich politician who has your fucking money. 0.98

01:04:34.000 You have him saying, like, well, we just have too many immigrants taking their jobs. 1.00

01:04:38.000 Or, like, it's the gays. 0.99

01:04:39.000 They're angering Jesus. 0.85

01:04:41.000 And then you start blaming these other people because you're like, it's not me. 0.99

01:04:45.000 Because, like, there are a lot of Republicans who are being fucked. 0.99

01:04:48.000 Just like we're being fucked. 1.00

01:04:50.000 Just like everyone, independents, whatever, are being fucked. 1.00

01:04:54.000 Because... 1.00

01:04:57.000 And the people who are actually doing the fucking are just like, well, don't look at my house. 0.99

01:05:02.000 Don't look at my mansion. 0.99

01:05:02.000 Don't look at my bank account. 0.99

01:05:04.000 Don't look at my fucking tax records. 1.00

01:05:05.000 It's fucking Jose over there. 1.00

01:05:07.000 And you look and it's just like friendly Mexican dude in a pickup truck. 0.99

01:05:10.000 Like, that guy's going for your job. 1.00

01:05:11.000 And you're like, well, fuck Jose. 1.00

01:05:13.000 Because it's also easier to go after the immigrants than it is to overthrow our broken system, right? 1.00

01:05:18.000 Like, if you tell someone that the election was rigged, Or that votes are being suppressed or that George Bush didn't win in 2000, they're like, I'm just going to blame Nader because that dude is fucking old and that seems easier. 0.97

01:05:30.000 You know what I mean? 0.95

01:05:31.000 It's easier to blame a Ron Paul.

01:05:33.000 It's easier to blame a Ralph Nader.

01:05:35.000 It's easier to blame an immigrant. 0.99

01:05:37.000 Than to be like, oh no, it's all the people with all the power and all the money and all the guns and the roadmaps to the wars.

01:05:43.000 They're the ones we have to defeat.

01:05:47.000 We need a shift in the identification of responsibility. 0.99

01:05:51.000 But going back to where I totally agree with you is… You know, a lot of people think that, like, atheists are, like, these, like, weird, immoral, like, we're just, like, butt-fucking and worshiping the devil. 0.99

01:06:01.000 Wait a minute, you know? 0.98

01:06:02.000 Well, I mean, that's, like, a Tuesday thing, but not, like, all week.

01:06:04.000 You gotta rest on Wednesdays. 1.00

01:06:07.000 Do you butt-fuck while you sing Shout at the Devil? 1.00

01:06:09.000 You butt-fuck on Tuesday while you praise the devil, and then Wednesday, like Jesus, it's like, and then he rested. 1.00

01:06:15.000 That gives me great happiness, knowing that, for sure, some dudes have butt-fucked while singing Shout at the Devil. 1.00

01:06:22.000 Shout! 0.99

01:06:23.000 Shout!

01:06:23.000 No doubt about it.

01:06:24.000 Or they're like, when the podcast is over, we have to do this. 0.99

01:06:28.000 Yeah, they're going to crank it and buttfuck. 1.00

01:06:30.000 And buttfuck. 1.00

01:06:30.000 For sure. 1.00

01:06:31.000 And it's going to be like one of the best days of their lives.

01:06:33.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:06:33.000 There's a problem with people trying to stop other people from doing shit. 0.99

01:06:38.000 Oh, right. 0.99

01:06:39.000 And you know where that comes from.

01:06:41.000 Fear. 0.89

01:06:41.000 Who's always the dickhead who's going hard – like way too hard and aggressive against smaller people at jiu-jitsu? 0.89

01:06:48.000 The dude who sucks at jiu-jitsu. 0.99

01:06:49.000 Who's always the comic who when you get to the club, he's automatically like – just like, hey, it's a gay shirt you got. 0.99

01:06:57.000 Like, where's your wife? 1.00

01:06:58.000 Probably fucking – and you're just like, who the fuck are you? 1.00

01:07:00.000 Well, it's a shitty MC. That's who that is. 1.00

01:07:02.000 Right.

01:07:02.000 And then, you know, I mean, that always happens.

01:07:04.000 Those guys are brutal.

01:07:05.000 The more of an ego you have.

01:07:06.000 Because look, if you look at statistically, we're not handling this marriage thing well. 0.89

01:07:10.000 This thing that like we claim is like so fucking like sanctimonious and, you know, marriage is one of the institutions of America. 0.99

01:07:18.000 Well, the majority of people get fucking divorced. 0.97

01:07:20.000 So obviously we're not doing it right. 1.00

01:07:22.000 But it's that same fucking ego, right? 0.99

01:07:24.000 Well, it's like, well, I'm not happy. 1.00

01:07:25.000 So I don't want that fucking gay motherfucker singing heavy metal. 1.00

01:07:28.000 That's not marriage, okay? 1.00

01:07:30.000 You want to call it a union?

01:07:32.000 A marriage is between a man and a woman. 0.99

01:07:35.000 A man and a woman, you have to be miserable. 1.00

01:07:37.000 You have to surrender all your dreams. 1.00

01:07:39.000 You have to hate your fucking spike kids that you had. 1.00

01:07:41.000 You have to be miserable like me. 1.00

01:07:43.000 It doesn't say that. 0.99

01:07:44.000 They're just saying you need Jesus in your life if you want to marry a man. 1.00

01:07:47.000 But I'm saying those motherfuckers are so miserable, the ones that have miserable marriages. 1.00

01:07:51.000 I'm not saying I have a very happy marriage. 1.00

01:07:52.000 If you really love marriage and if you really are upset at someone making marriage less than it should be, why don't you attack those fucking drive-thru places in Vegas where you can get married by Elvis? 0.99

01:08:04.000 That seems ridiculous. 0.99

01:08:06.000 I mean, if you want to talk about not taking a commitment seriously, the fact that you could do it drunk. 0.99

01:08:11.000 But then you have a monogamous gay couple that's been together for 10 years and have a kid, and they can't get married, so if one of them fucking is dying, the other one can't see them in the hospital bed. 0.91

01:08:19.000 But that goes back to the empathy, right? 1.00

01:08:21.000 That goes back to just not being a dick. 0.97

01:08:23.000 Because, again, ever since then… Well, it's the idea that there's something wrong with that guy because he likes something different than you. 0.99

01:08:29.000 Right.

01:08:29.000 Than you like.

01:08:30.000 Of course. 1.00

01:08:30.000 That's so stupid. 1.00

01:08:31.000 And it's something that is, by the way, a weakness. 1.00

01:08:35.000 And if you're a fucking man, you run around thinking you're some sort of a badass, and you can't understand that someone can have different desires than you, then you're a pussy, you're weak, you're confused, you're sad, or you're probably gay. 1.00

01:08:48.000 Or you're hiding some shit. 1.00

01:08:49.000 It could be some gay shit going on in your past. 1.00

01:08:51.000 It's all American beauty stabbing in the garage. 1.00

01:08:53.000 I've always said that there's two types of dudes who want to stop gay marriage. 1.00

01:08:57.000 There's really dumb people and people that are secretly worried that dicks are delicious. 1.00

01:09:02.000 And really, really gay people, yeah. 1.00

01:09:03.000 It's true. 1.00

01:09:03.000 They just fucking crave it. 1.00

01:09:05.000 Like this chicken guy, this Chick-fil-A guy. 1.00

01:09:07.000 He's spending millions of dollars to stop gay marriage. 1.00

01:09:11.000 I guarantee there's some cock in his past. 1.00

01:09:15.000 I guarantee. 0.99

01:09:16.000 And it is not the good kind of cock. 0.97

01:09:17.000 It ain't the rooster. 1.00

01:09:18.000 It is dark cock. 0.99

01:09:19.000 Something has happened to him. 1.00

01:09:21.000 I'm not dark like evil, not black. 0.85

01:09:22.000 Either he was molested or he did some molesting or he likes to go to road stops or something. 0.93

01:09:31.000 Because that's the thing.

01:09:32.000 Maybe not. 1.00

01:09:35.000 I might just be talking shit. 1.00

01:09:36.000 He might just be an old crazy rich dude. 1.00

01:09:38.000 Spends money. 1.00

01:09:39.000 Probably. 0.99

01:09:40.000 There has been a dick in his past. 0.99

01:09:44.000 You think so? 1.00

01:09:45.000 I would say if you had to go to Vegas and you had to look at a good line, I think I would say the Vegas line would be that he's probably had his dick sucked by a dude. 1.00

01:09:55.000 Yeah, a lot of crying and dick sucking. 1.00

01:09:59.000 Because here's the thing. 0.99

01:10:00.000 there are political issues that I can disagree with people on but like even though I disagree with them like I see where they're coming from where it's like okay torture you think that produces a good result and you want to protect people who may not be criminals got it like the war like you think you're protecting us you think that was like Iraq that attacked us like we can disagree and we can talk about facts and stuff like that but I get it but for someone to wake up every day and be like oh there are dudes fucking like well in And to make that their issue is crazy. 0.94

01:10:30.000 Well, their defense, though, with a lot of them, they were, look, the real problem with religion is that anybody telling you absolutely they know what God wants you to do is fucking crazy. 1.00

01:10:41.000 They're crazy. 1.00

01:10:42.000 Every one of them. 0.93

01:10:43.000 Anyone who tells you, anybody who wrote anything down, and that's not taken away from the idea that there's not some sort of a natural order to the universe, and maybe there's some sort of higher power or consciousness that is at the end of this whole crazy Yeah.

01:10:54.000 Ride that we're all on.

01:10:55.000 But when you decide that you definitely know that this shouldn't be happening, even though the people that are doing it are enjoying it, because it's some ancient thing that God wants to stop.

01:11:07.000 We have an education problem.

01:11:09.000 That's what that is.

01:11:09.000 That is an education problem.

01:11:11.000 That is a consciousness problem.

01:11:12.000 That is a problem with people that have not been raised to accept other people's happiness.

01:11:19.000 Well, and I don't know.

01:11:20.000 I don't think I've ever talked about this.

01:11:22.000 I don't think I've talked about it in your show or anything.

01:11:23.000 But, like, I... I started thinking that way since I was an atheist.

01:11:30.000 I was more of a dick. 0.99

01:11:31.000 I was more selfish when I believed in some kind of God. 1.00

01:11:36.000 I was never religious.

01:11:37.000 I never went to church.

01:11:38.000 I never went to synagogue.

01:11:39.000 I always knew organized religion. 0.98

01:11:41.000 Here's how crazy religion is. 0.99

01:11:43.000 Even though I was on stage talking about how I thought... 0.90

01:11:46.000 I consider myself agnostic.

01:11:49.000 Which to me is almost worse than being a Christian. 0.95

01:11:52.000 Because at least Christians are taking a stand. 1.00

01:11:54.000 A dumb stand, but a stand. 1.00

01:11:55.000 Whereas agnostics to me are like independent voters where it's like make up your fucking mind and start losing friends like me. 1.00

01:12:01.000 Like start alienating people and just be fucking miserable. 1.00

01:12:03.000 I think the world needs agnostics. 1.00

01:12:05.000 I think we need agnostics with almost everything. 1.00

01:12:07.000 But here's what I think.

01:12:08.000 I think that most atheists are agnostics because like if we're going – if we're going to be technical and then I'll get back to – like if we're going to be technical, anyone who says they're 100 percent sure that there is a god or there isn't god is wrong.

01:12:19.000 So, as an agnostic, I'm like, alright, so I look for evidence, and I look for science, and until that happens, I'm just gonna live like there's no God or whatever. 0.97

01:12:29.000 But if right now, like, during the podcast, like, you know, something happened and God came down, I wouldn't be like, fuck, you ever read Sam Harris? 0.99

01:12:35.000 You're not real. 0.99

01:12:36.000 I'd be like, I was wrong, you know?

01:12:38.000 Yeah, you know what, man?

01:12:39.000 Sam Harris is a friend of mine, and Sam Harris is a brilliant guy, but Sam Harris doesn't know exactly how the universe works either.

01:12:48.000 But to say you're an atheist, when you see these guys who are these string theorists dudes, these guys who are working on trying to decipher the very matter that That constitutes the universe.

01:13:05.000 They're trying to figure out at the very heart of it.

01:13:07.000 They're finding these mathematical computations.

01:13:11.000 They're finding these mathematical patterns in nature.

01:13:14.000 We know that in the Fibonacci sequence, even the design of faces and sunflowers.

01:13:20.000 There's an actual formula, a numerical formula to all of this, and they're not exactly sure what that means.

01:13:27.000 It could mean that there's some sort of a spiritual or guiding energy or ethic at the end of the universe.

01:13:36.000 I have the answer.

01:13:37.000 I have the meaning of life you're about to do on the show.

01:13:40.000 First of all, the first part of the meaning of life is, Sam, don't.

01:13:45.000 Torture's bad.

01:13:46.000 Torture's totally bad.

01:13:47.000 So is racial profiling.

01:13:48.000 Oh, for Sam Harris?

01:13:49.000 Sam, just if you're listening.

01:13:50.000 It's not good.

01:13:50.000 You're a smart guy.

01:13:51.000 I love letter to Christian Asian.

01:13:53.000 Eh, racial profiling, not good.

01:13:54.000 Alright, my meaning of life.

01:13:58.000 Act like you don't know. 0.99

01:14:00.000 And just be fucking deep. 0.99

01:14:02.000 Like look, there is more harm in living like there is a God than there isn't. 0.99

01:14:06.000 So it's cool to not be sure.

01:14:08.000 I don't care.

01:14:09.000 There's more harm in living like there is a God.

01:14:11.000 There's more potential to be harmed.

01:14:13.000 I so disagree with that.

01:14:15.000 I think for a lot of people it actually works as a scaffolding and then Christianity and the idea of being a good person and being a good Christian and Christian values and And treating your brother as if you were yourself, that is in the Bible, man.

01:14:30.000 Well, but something that Sam has said, but I mean, there's also, you know, if you're selfish, you're gonna go to hell.

01:14:35.000 Like, if you don't believe in Jesus, you'll be slain by the sword.

01:14:37.000 Well, if you wear two different types of cloth, you go to hell.

01:14:39.000 How about that? 1.00

01:14:40.000 But I think that, like, I didn't need the Bible To tell me not to be an asshole. 0.99

01:14:45.000 Like, good fiction. 0.99

01:14:47.000 You didn't.

01:14:48.000 But maybe there's a dude who has a 9-volt battery brain.

01:14:51.000 And he does.

01:14:52.000 He needs it.

01:14:53.000 He needs...

01:14:54.000 And look, you know, we don't necessarily all go into this life with the same equipment.

01:15:01.000 And there's a lot of people that, for whatever reason, it makes them feel better.

01:15:07.000 It makes their life better.

01:15:09.000 The whole ball of wax.

01:15:10.000 The whole ball of Christianity. 0.96

01:15:11.000 Well, this is what I was saying about the agnostic thing, though, is, so for them, cool, right?

01:15:17.000 Like, they're not hurting anyone. 0.99

01:15:18.000 If they don't hate the gays because of it or think of a fucking cell as a baby or whatever, fine. 0.98

01:15:24.000 But I think when you're kind of teetering, like, I've seen friends of mine And family members who have, and I've done this, who when I thought there was a God, I was less charitable. 0.99

01:15:38.000 Really?

01:15:39.000 Totally.

01:15:40.000 You were less charitable? 0.99

01:15:41.000 Because there was a part of me, but I was also fucking poor. 0.95

01:15:43.000 But you were also, probably you were young too. 0.81

01:15:46.000 Yeah, but there was also, but I would tell myself, I remember specifically like walking by people that maybe now would give money to, maybe I wouldn't, but I'd walk by someone and it'd be like, well, God will take care of it, right?

01:15:56.000 Or like overseas, like, well, God won't.

01:15:58.000 Let this happen, even though there have been so many wars and plagues and all this stuff.

01:16:02.000 And then once I was like, you know what?

01:16:03.000 There's probably not a God.

01:16:05.000 Let's just live like there's not one.

01:16:07.000 I actually took all those cliches about, you know, live every day like it's your last and stuff like that.

01:16:13.000 I started listening to them where I'm like, I'm just going to try to be a good person because this is probably it. 0.84

01:16:17.000 And if it's not, fucking bonus, right? 1.00

01:16:19.000 Like if there's a heaven and there's a God and I found out I was wrong, I'm not going to be like, fuck you, motherfucker, and like charge him, swing it. 1.00

01:16:27.000 I'm going to be like, awesome. 1.00

01:16:29.000 Because...

01:16:29.000 And don't get me wrong, like I... When I was on stage making fun of religion, literally on stage making fun of organized religion, I still believed in a God.

01:16:39.000 Like, I remember I consider myself agnostic, but my wife was the first atheist I ever met.

01:16:43.000 And so I was like, so you're agnostic?

01:16:46.000 And she goes, I'm an atheist.

01:16:47.000 And even though I was on stage criticizing religion... 0.98

01:16:50.000 Sounds like a match made in heaven.

01:16:51.000 I know.

01:16:51.000 The child...

01:16:54.000 Let's get together and murder some lettuce. 1.00

01:16:57.000 You don't do that. 1.00

01:16:58.000 You hunt Christians when you're an agnostic and an atheist. 0.99

01:17:00.000 But there was part of me in my head that I was just like...

01:17:02.000 When she told me that, I got really scared. 0.91

01:17:04.000 And I was like, but you're gonna go to hell.

01:17:06.000 And I was on stage.

01:17:08.000 I didn't think I believed in it for real.

01:17:10.000 But religion was so powerful.

01:17:12.000 And even if you don't grow up that religious, when you grow up, even people who consider themselves an atheist, they still remember just like...

01:17:19.000 I mean, threatening a child with hell? 1.00

01:17:21.000 Like, that's some scary fucking shit. 1.00

01:17:23.000 You don't have to tell me, man. 1.00

01:17:24.000 I grew up Catholic.

01:17:25.000 I went to Catholic school for a year.

01:17:26.000 It's terrible.

01:17:26.000 You will never feel like you're not in the way.

01:17:28.000 Yeah, when you go to Catholic church and Catholic school, especially like in fucking Harrison, New Jersey, Like, this is some dark shit going on. 0.99

01:17:36.000 There's not a lot of happiness. 0.99

01:17:37.000 There's no fucking sunny days when you get out of that place. 0.97

01:17:40.000 Right. 0.97

01:17:40.000 Oh, so what I was going to say about... 0.97

01:17:43.000 Belief systems.

01:17:44.000 Right.

01:17:44.000 So I know people who aren't religious.

01:17:46.000 They're certainly not homophobic.

01:17:48.000 I mean, I'm sorry.

01:17:48.000 They don't go to church, but they believe in God.

01:17:51.000 And a lot of times, like, you know, they've used that sort of as an excuse for like, let's say they have like a drug relapse or an alcohol relapse.

01:17:58.000 They're like, well, maybe God had another plan for me.

01:18:01.000 Yeah, but just because someone uses it in a weak way doesn't discount them using it in a positive way.

01:18:06.000 And that's why I'm saying, like, if you, again, if you're a good person because you're religious or you're a good person and you're an atheist, like, great, do your thing.

01:18:13.000 But when it came to being agnostic, I would rather live like there is no God.

01:18:17.000 And I'm like, I'm just going to try to be a good person for the right reasons. 0.99

01:18:19.000 Not because I want to get fucking rewarded in heaven where I can see all my dead cats and eat pancakes or whatever the fuck people think heaven is. 0.99

01:18:26.000 And not because I'm scared to burn to hell. 0.99

01:18:29.000 I want people to be decent people to be decent fucking people. 0.99

01:18:32.000 Well, it makes life nicer. 0.99

01:18:34.000 That's really where it's at.

01:18:36.000 People don't understand that you can... 0.85

01:18:38.000 Have you ever been at a party where you're hanging out with all your best friends and you're sitting by the pool, some music is playing, maybe you have a couple of drinks and everybody's having a good fucking time and everybody's being nice to each other. 0.92

01:18:51.000 You know what I mean? 0.90

01:18:51.000 It's like you love having a good party, right? 0.90

01:18:53.000 Well, life could be a fucking party, stupid. 1.00

01:18:55.000 It really can be. 1.00

01:18:56.000 You just got to be a nice person and surround yourself with other people.

01:19:00.000 That are trying to be a nice person as well. 1.00

01:19:02.000 Take responsibility for your own fucking actions. 1.00

01:19:04.000 Get your shit together. 1.00

01:19:05.000 Contribute your part so that everybody feels good about the interactions with you. 0.99

01:19:10.000 Give people more than you think they deserve just so they feel better about it.

01:19:14.000 And if you can do that, if you can figure out how to do that, you can have a good life.

01:19:18.000 This is actually awesome that you said that because I wanted to bring this up.

01:19:21.000 When you wrote that thing on jujitsu...

01:19:24.000 That kind of went viral about ego and jujitsu.

01:19:27.000 I actually didn't rate it.

01:19:28.000 I said it.

01:19:29.000 It was when I got my black belt.

01:19:31.000 I did like a little speech because you have to do a speech.

01:19:34.000 Okay.

01:19:34.000 So when that went – when someone printed it and like people started to pass it around, I'm like at least Marcello School in New York.

01:19:40.000 I'm like I think like jujitsu schools worldwide were like fucking rejoicing.

01:19:44.000 Everyone was so happy about it and – I really do believe... 0.96

01:19:49.000 What I said is that I meet a lot of people through jujitsu that are really fucking cool. 0.52

01:19:57.000 And one of the reasons is that their ego gets confronted with reality on a daily basis. 0.83

01:20:02.000 When you do jujitsu, you're basically battling to the death.

01:20:05.000 I mean, that's what you're doing.

01:20:06.000 You're trying to arm bar each other.

01:20:07.000 It's very technical.

01:20:09.000 You're trying to use your technique in an intelligent manner.

01:20:12.000 You're trying to pace your body in an intelligent manner.

01:20:14.000 It's a very real scenario.

01:20:16.000 And when you tap or when you get dominated or even when you defeat someone, you learn something from the process.

01:20:24.000 You grow and develop.

01:20:26.000 And it is real and concrete.

01:20:28.000 If a guy taps you, it is real and concrete.

01:20:30.000 There's no getting around it.

01:20:31.000 He got you, and that was it.

01:20:33.000 Well, that's what I love about it.

01:20:34.000 People don't have that in real life.

01:20:36.000 Even in other arts, if you're a shitty musician, you can tell yourself that people don't get you and that you're trying to do something.

01:20:44.000 But if you get choked out, you have to tap. 0.94

01:20:48.000 If you're a bad comedian, again, you can blame the audience or whatever.

01:20:50.000 But when it's you who physically has put yourself in a position...

01:20:53.000 We're vulnerable to a submission.

01:20:54.000 Someone's locked it on.

01:20:55.000 Then you have to take your hand and say, I give up.

01:20:58.000 There's no talking out of that.

01:21:00.000 And what's so interesting to me, especially having a really liberal base, is sometimes, and this is when I get the most furious on Twitter, or when people are like, oh, you're a vegan, but you support human cockfighting. 0.99

01:21:10.000 You support this fucking blood sport. 0.98

01:21:12.000 You support MMA. And... 1.00

01:21:15.000 You know, what's so upsetting is the vegan argument is ridiculous. 0.90

01:21:17.000 One of the best fighters in the world is a vegan. 0.88

01:21:19.000 Yeah, totally.

01:21:20.000 Matt Danzig's a vegan. 1.00

01:21:21.000 Chickens don't get fucking fighter of the night award. 1.00

01:21:23.000 Dustin Poirier just tweeted that he's six days without the shit, right? 1.00

01:21:26.000 Chickens can suck it. 1.00

01:21:28.000 How about that? 1.00

01:21:28.000 At least give them a shot against the farmers. 1.00

01:21:31.000 Just, all right, you can try to fight your way out, chickens.

01:21:35.000 But what's so interesting to me is like...

01:21:37.000 The hardcore lefties who come at you for your interests.

01:21:40.000 Yeah, I guess you're not really a hardcore lefty. 0.98

01:21:43.000 You're always going to find really fucking negative people in every walk of life. 0.70

01:21:47.000 But what's so interesting, tying into what you wrote, is like, so this week I competed in IBJJF. You won a bronze medal, right? 0.93

01:21:55.000 I did!

01:21:57.000 It was my first competition.

01:21:58.000 That's awesome, man.

01:21:59.000 What belt are you right now? 0.98

01:22:00.000 I turned 30 and I was like, I'm going to start fucking competing. 0.99

01:22:02.000 What belt are you? 0.99

01:22:03.000 I just got my blue.

01:22:04.000 I only started doing gi like last year.

01:22:06.000 That's beautiful.

01:22:07.000 You just got your blue belt?

01:22:08.000 Dude, whatever you do, man, please stick to that.

01:22:11.000 I know you were trying to do some...

01:22:13.000 Thai boxing and stuff like that?

01:22:15.000 Oh, no.

01:22:15.000 I had the one Thai boxing fight.

01:22:16.000 It went great.

01:22:17.000 And I'm like, I don't want to get punched in the face.

01:22:18.000 Did you win?

01:22:18.000 Yeah.

01:22:20.000 Awesome.

01:22:20.000 Really?

01:22:20.000 That's beautiful.

01:22:21.000 But I was like...

01:22:22.000 Stop that.

01:22:23.000 Someone's going to hurt you.

01:22:24.000 No, I'm better at more Thai.

01:22:24.000 I don't even like training anymore.

01:22:26.000 I just loved...

01:22:26.000 The reason I love Jiu-Jitsu, I just love Jiu-Jitsu culture.

01:22:29.000 And kind of...

01:22:31.000 Well, you know what?

01:22:32.000 In retrospect, or rather in comparison, I grew up in a kickboxing culture.

01:22:37.000 I grew up in Muay Thai and boxing and Taekwondo.

01:22:41.000 And it is a more douchey world.

01:22:44.000 And the reality is, because first of all, you don't spar hard every day.

01:22:48.000 You don't go at it every day.

01:22:49.000 And in jiu-jitsu, you go at it every day.

01:22:51.000 And every day, you risk getting tapped.

01:22:53.000 And lots of times, you don't spar at all.

01:22:55.000 And you just do pad work.

01:22:56.000 And it's a glorified cardio kickboxing class.

01:22:58.000 And when you do spar, you don't go full out.

01:23:01.000 You shouldn't.

01:23:02.000 You certainly shouldn't. 1.00

01:23:03.000 If we were supposed to spar and I tried to attack you, I would be an asshole. 1.00

01:23:07.000 You'd be like, dude, slow the fuck down. 1.00

01:23:09.000 Because you're not learning anything when you're going to war like that. 0.99

01:23:11.000 What you're doing is just covering up.

01:23:13.000 I rarely have to say that in jiu-jitsu.

01:23:15.000 In kickboxing, I've had to be like... 0.95

01:23:16.000 Tell me if we're in a real fight, because if we're in a real fight, I'm going to hit you as hard as you're hitting me, and I'm going to not get the fuck out. 0.93

01:23:20.000 People are hitting you in jiu-jitsu? 0.99

01:23:22.000 Oh, no, no, no, in kickboxing.

01:23:23.000 Oh, in kickboxing.

01:23:24.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:23:25.000 Where it's, yeah, the level of spazziness.

01:23:26.000 Yeah, because in jiu-jitsu, I welcome spazzes, because you need to know that a guy can do that. 0.99

01:23:30.000 Well, because that's jiu-jitsu.

01:23:32.000 Yeah.

01:23:33.000 He's using leverage and being smaller and, like, getting around that big spazzy guy.

01:23:35.000 No, not even that.

01:23:36.000 I mean, someone going... 0.98

01:23:37.000 Fucking crazy using all their might right away, which a good guy never does. 0.99

01:23:42.000 A good guy will lock up to you like maybe 30% and then you start moving with each other and he's looking for advantages, but he's not going to do anything stupid. 1.00

01:23:49.000 No one kicks my ass more than Marcelo Garcia and his black belt. 0.99

01:23:53.000 And I'll just do this thing where you literally feel like You're like, am I? Because it's just like Gumby arms. 0.99

01:24:00.000 And you're like, am I about to get a lock up?

01:24:02.000 He's on my back.

01:24:03.000 And you don't even know how it happened. 0.99

01:24:04.000 And there was zero fucking strength used. 0.95

01:24:07.000 What I love so much about it is, so I trained with Marcelo in New York. 0.97

01:24:12.000 But because the competition was in Las Vegas, I went out to Robert Drysdale's place.

01:24:17.000 And Drysdale's, like, super political, one of the smartest guys I know, one of the best jiu-jitsu players in the world.

01:24:22.000 And there was part of me that was nervous, like, you know, because I didn't know how politics worked.

01:24:26.000 I've only started really traveling and training in other schools. 0.95

01:24:28.000 So I had, like, my Marcelo Garcia Gi because it was the only fucking Gi I had. 0.99

01:24:33.000 Drysdale's fucking fought Marcelo. 0.99

01:24:35.000 Right. 0.99

01:24:35.000 And not only did him and the people my age and the people who were at my belt and the people who may at the time didn't know were going to be competing in my division, but they just instantly treated me like such a fucking family member. 0.99

01:24:48.000 I mean, Robert cornered me.

01:24:49.000 And I go, dude, I have like Marcelo's gi I'm like registered under.

01:24:52.000 And he goes, I don't care. 0.99

01:24:53.000 He's like, you're my fucking friend. 1.00

01:24:54.000 I'm going to corner you. 1.00

01:24:55.000 And he cornered me.

01:24:56.000 And... 0.98

01:24:57.000 What's so funny is if people walked by that school or those lefties on Twitter or not even lefties, just people who don't get MMA, who call it a blood sport, maybe if you walked by during a sparring session, you'd be like, wow, that looks fucked up and scary because dudes are like jumping on each other's backs and driving each other into the walls and shit. 0.75

01:25:12.000 But when you go in there, I'm like, there is more camaraderie there that I've experienced in comedy, that I've experienced in a lot of these liberal get-togethers. 0.95

01:25:20.000 And what's so ironic and so frustrating, and maybe this goes back to maybe this is what people need to do to treat people decently, is there are people of all fucking nationalities, religious beliefs, political beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, builds, and you fucking roll with someone for the first time. 0.97

01:25:36.000 If you've just met someone, you shake their hand, and you have like a killer role, like a back and forth, and like both of you almost submit, you like just escape and the bell rings, I'm hugging that dude like he's a fucking long lost relative. 0.97

01:25:46.000 Oh yeah, man. 0.64

01:25:47.000 And you don't think twice about it.

01:25:48.000 Yeah.

01:25:48.000 And it pisses me off to no end.

01:25:52.000 That that is how beautiful and wonderful jujitsu is. 0.99

01:25:55.000 But some people see it and they're like, it's a fucking blood sport. 0.99

01:25:58.000 I thought you were liberal. 1.00

01:25:59.000 I thought you hated violence.

01:26:00.000 I see what they're thinking.

01:26:01.000 What they're thinking is, in a perfect world, we shouldn't need violence.

01:26:05.000 And they are scared of people who are enthusiastic about violence.

01:26:10.000 They think it's dangerous.

01:26:11.000 And they're scared of people who actively train in something where you're, you know, what you're actively trying to do is figure out a way to harm someone.

01:26:18.000 Be a killer, right?

01:26:19.000 They're thinking from an evolved mindset, and I totally agree with it. 0.96

01:26:24.000 However, I'm stuck with this monkey body, okay? 1.00

01:26:27.000 I'm built like a fucking chimpanzee, and I have testosterone in my system. 1.00

01:26:33.000 Sorry. 1.00

01:26:33.000 Chimpanzee's got to take some limbs off. 1.00

01:26:35.000 Yeah, well, what it is is you have a fucking ancient body. 0.99

01:26:38.000 We have these bodies that are 10,000 plus years of whatever we've been doing. 0.99

01:26:44.000 That's how our DNA is designed to operate and what reward system we operate under. 0.99

01:26:49.000 We have, like, fucking needs, and one of the needs is men have a desire to prove themselves. 0.99

01:26:55.000 Constantly. 0.99

01:26:55.000 Whether you want to exist in our society or whether you want to try to make it out on your own. 0.99

01:27:02.000 Whatever the fuck you're trying to do. 0.99

01:27:04.000 One of your main desires to stay alive, one of your main focuses is that men have this desire to do at least something special. 1.00

01:27:13.000 To stand out.

01:27:15.000 I went to yoga once for the first time. 0.99

01:27:17.000 It was like that hot yoga, which is like a fucking nightmare. 0.99

01:27:19.000 It's fucking awesome. 0.99

01:27:20.000 And there was a dude in the class... 0.99

01:27:22.000 And instantly I'm like, alright, alright motherfucker, let's do this. 0.98

01:27:25.000 And I was holding the pose incorrectly longer than I should have and just hurting myself. 0.99

01:27:30.000 Oh, that's funny. 1.00

01:27:30.000 And then whenever I'd stop and I'd fuck up my pose, in my head I'd be like, well, kick that guy's ass. 1.00

01:27:36.000 Yeah, there is that fucking male testosterone ego. 1.00

01:27:38.000 A lot of it is dumb, but it's also necessary for competition. 1.00

01:27:41.000 And it's necessary to get better. 0.99

01:27:43.000 The thing is, you have to learn to get good at it.

01:27:45.000 And you have to learn to get good at it with your ego, and that's where jiu-jitsu comes along.

01:27:49.000 You develop a healthy...

01:27:50.000 Respect for competition.

01:27:53.000 Mark Maron was talking once about not being able to, when he was growing up, if he wanted his parents to instill anything in him that they did, is be able to enjoy competition.

01:28:05.000 Because he said he grew up, and if he was losing a game, he wanted to flip the board over.

01:28:10.000 That was his thing.

01:28:11.000 Wait, Mark Maron didn't take losing well?

01:28:13.000 The same Mark Maron that I... I mean, that explains so much.

01:28:17.000 I mean, it really does about that dude's interactions with people.

01:28:21.000 It's like if someone had just taken him to a jiu-jitsu class early on in life and allowed him to experience...

01:28:29.000 Losing is a normal part of life.

01:28:31.000 It's like, if you don't want to get better, well then, you know, you're not going to...

01:28:36.000 If you don't want to get better, then you're not going to take any chances.

01:28:40.000 And if you don't take any chances, you're not going to get better.

01:28:43.000 But if you take chances, you're going to fail.

01:28:44.000 And you have to fail in order to learn how to move forward.

01:28:47.000 Well, I was training with Keith Florian, with Kenny's brother, in Boston.

01:28:52.000 And we were talking about ego and the times where you don't want to tap and stuff like that.

01:28:56.000 And he was like, dude, if you're not tapping, you're not learning.

01:28:59.000 And, you know, I've heard lots of jujitsu guys talk about that, and I love that.

01:29:02.000 I love a culture where, like, you're encouraged to, like, take these fucking risks, and that you learn, you know, when I lost to the kid who won silver, and it was a really close match, and I lost and I was bummed out for a second and then I went over to Robert and I was like, what happened?

01:29:20.000 What could I have done? 0.96

01:29:21.000 And he told me and I went and fucking wrote it down. 0.99

01:29:22.000 And I was like, alright, next time. 0.99

01:29:24.000 That's what it's all about.

01:29:25.000 Competition is good.

01:29:26.000 Look, there's a lot of guys that I know that can tap me and I like rolling with them.

01:29:30.000 I like getting tapped.

01:29:31.000 I like to know what they're doing that can get me.

01:29:33.000 Oh dude, when someone hits me with an awesome, crazy move, I just start laughing.

01:29:37.000 I'm just like, what?

01:29:38.000 I just felt some dude on my back and then we rolled over twice and suddenly he has my arm attached to my leg and I'm just like, what?

01:29:45.000 What is this?

01:29:46.000 Jamie, when are you going to fight Daniel Tosh?

01:29:51.000 I heard he's not the easiest guy to pin down.

01:29:55.000 I believe you're not allowed to make eye contact with him.

01:29:57.000 What did that happen?

01:29:59.000 Before we get to that, why were you trying to fight some dude who was a congressman or a senator?

01:30:06.000 Hold on, let's back that up since it's on tape.

01:30:09.000 I was not trying to fight a senator. 0.99

01:30:12.000 This conservative pundit named Jonah Goldberg And Jonah Goldberg is sort of like the stereotypical fucking huge, out of shape, bully Republican, goes on every fucking news broadcast advocating that we just kill more brown people, but has never served. 1.00

01:30:32.000 He really says we need to kill more brown people? 1.00

01:30:34.000 No, but we need to invade Iraq. 1.00

01:30:36.000 That's a bold motherfucker. 1.00

01:30:37.000 Invade Afghanistan, invade all these brown-ish places. 1.00

01:30:44.000 People call him on his shit, but no one really calls him on his shit. 1.00

01:30:49.000 For example, he still has a career, even though Iraq and Afghanistan failed. 1.00

01:30:54.000 My whole thing is if you advocate a war that has killed hundreds of thousands of people, that has killed thousands of Americans, at the very least, you should have to, when it comes to the news, sit the next war out.

01:31:06.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:31:06.000 Like a fucking baseball player who fucked up. 1.00

01:31:08.000 Just sit it out, or at least if he's going to go on TV and talk about how we need to bomb Iran under his name, it should be like, Jonah Goldberg, dude who was wrong about Iraq. 1.00

01:31:17.000 You know what I mean?

01:31:18.000 You say he was wrong about Iraq, but they do Hollywood math on it, and they'll tell you that it was a success for democratic societies all over the world because we removed an evil dictator, and now they have a system in place that is far more superior.

01:31:32.000 Evil dictators are.

01:31:32.000 Look how many people died.

01:31:34.000 I mean, the place is a shitstorm. 0.98

01:31:37.000 Well, I'm not saying that. 0.98

01:31:38.000 What I'm saying is that a guy like that is never wrong in his eyes.

01:31:42.000 If you listen to conservative talk radio, which I do all the time just to go crazy, I listen to Patriot on Sirius.

01:31:49.000 They call themselves the Patriot Radio.

01:31:51.000 It's so bad. 0.99

01:31:52.000 And it's just one dumb idea after another dumb idea about, you know, Christianity and God's law in this world. 0.99

01:32:01.000 And the thing is, like... 0.99

01:32:04.000 We also have to remember – let's say even Iraq was a perfect society. 1.00

01:32:08.000 That's not why we went there.

01:32:09.000 We went there because under the rule of law, we said we were attacked.

01:32:14.000 We said Iraq was responsible for 9-11. 1.00

01:32:16.000 I mean we didn't even go over there.

01:32:17.000 And it's the same with Iran. 0.69

01:32:18.000 The people who want more with Iran aren't saying we want to make Iran a democratic society.

01:32:22.000 They're saying – these are the same people who hailed the Iranian revolution. 0.99

01:32:25.000 They're saying that we are a threat or they are a threat to Israel so we need to kill these guys. 1.00

01:32:31.000 So this guy is talking all this shit. 1.00

01:32:34.000 Wrote a book called Liberal Fascist. 1.00

01:32:35.000 And he just gets to keep going on the news, keep writing books with incorrect information. 1.00

01:32:41.000 So one day he's shitting on young people. 1.00

01:32:44.000 He's saying that young people are stupid. 1.00

01:32:45.000 You should raise the voting age. 1.00

01:32:48.000 He's right. 1.00

01:32:49.000 Some young people are stupid. 1.00

01:32:51.000 A lot. 1.00

01:32:52.000 We should tase young people. 1.00

01:32:53.000 We should make them read.

01:32:55.000 Of course you should have to read it.

01:32:56.000 Maybe with an electric chair tied to a video game.

01:33:01.000 Once they've read ten books, they're allowed to kettlebell.

01:33:04.000 Maybe they get a battle rope if you read three.

01:33:06.000 Right.

01:33:07.000 And so he said that – he said something.

01:33:10.000 He said he was joking.

01:33:11.000 He probably was.

01:33:12.000 Maybe he wasn't.

01:33:13.000 Where he goes, kids need – these kids should have the socialism beaten out of them.

01:33:19.000 And he used the word beaten out of them.

01:33:21.000 Now, you would say, again, me and you listening to that, we wouldn't be like, time to go beat some kids. 0.94

01:33:26.000 But there was a congressman who last week said that, you know, Muslims are still threatening us every day.

01:33:34.000 And in his district, two mosques were attacked, right? 1.00

01:33:37.000 So it's like, to crazy people, this shit resonates. 1.00

01:33:40.000 But even if it didn't resonate, it was just another example. 1.00

01:33:42.000 Well, there's a big difference between kids and a religious faction that's been known to have suicide bombers.

01:33:46.000 Don't know.

01:33:47.000 Sure. 0.98

01:33:47.000 I mean to say that kids need to be smacked. 0.98

01:33:51.000 Socialist kids. 0.97

01:33:52.000 Right.

01:33:52.000 Of course.

01:33:53.000 But it was another example. 1.00

01:33:55.000 Of him being a cunt. 1.00

01:33:57.000 Right. 1.00

01:33:57.000 Because he's someone else who actually has said the Muslim stuff. 1.00

01:34:00.000 So it was another example of just him.

01:34:02.000 And so all I did was I tweeted him.

01:34:04.000 And I said, hey man, sorry about socialism.

01:34:07.000 I'm like a socialist-y.

01:34:09.000 I'm close.

01:34:10.000 I'm not really a socialist.

01:34:12.000 But, you know, close enough.

01:34:14.000 I'm a 145-pound vegan.

01:34:17.000 There's over several tweets.

01:34:18.000 You know the joke about how do you tell if someone's vegan.

01:34:21.000 What is it you...

01:34:22.000 They tell you.

01:34:23.000 Wait, they'll tell you.

01:34:23.000 Yeah.

01:34:25.000 But I was like...

01:34:26.000 I was like, he'll hate it.

01:34:27.000 He's one of the guys who compared, who was like, Hitler was a vegetarian and called vegetarians Nazis.

01:34:33.000 Which, by the way...

01:34:34.000 But first of all, you didn't expect this guy was really going to fight you.

01:34:37.000 Well, here's what I wanted.

01:34:39.000 Again, I was talking to my wife to Allison, and I was like, maybe he will, right?

01:34:42.000 And she's like...

01:34:44.000 Here was either situation.

01:34:46.000 Oh, so to finish, I wrote a whole piece for Wonkat about it and Huffington Post interviewed me.

01:34:49.000 And essentially what I said was, it can be regulated.

01:34:51.000 We'll do it for charity.

01:34:52.000 You have about 100 pounds on me.

01:34:54.000 I know how to fight, but you can wear headgear.

01:34:55.000 I won't wear any headgear.

01:34:56.000 It'll be time rounds, referee.

01:34:58.000 I'll give it to Palestinians. 1.00

01:34:59.000 You can buy like an Ayn Rand fuck doll or whatever you guys do with your money. 0.99

01:35:03.000 And it'll be great. 0.99

01:35:04.000 And I never was threatening or anything like that.

01:35:07.000 And of course it was...

01:35:08.000 Tongue in cheek in the sense that one of two things could happen. 0.99

01:35:11.000 He could be fucking crazy enough to do it, which I doubt it because, again, you look at all these war hawks and these are people who have never served in wars who are sending other kids to go die. 0.99

01:35:20.000 Right. 1.00

01:35:22.000 Or he's going to have to respond and just be exposed for being a fucking chicken shit, which is what he is. 1.00

01:35:26.000 He's a fucking chicken shit. 1.00

01:35:27.000 Well, I like you, Jamie, and that's why I'm going to tell you this. 1.00

01:35:30.000 I think it was a really dumb idea. 0.81

01:35:32.000 Why is that? 0.98

01:35:33.000 Go for it.

01:35:34.000 Because first of all, you opened up the gate, and you said you would like to enact violence on him and kickbox with him. 0.83

01:35:42.000 You know he's not a skillful addict.

01:35:43.000 Agreed upon.

01:35:44.000 Agreed upon kickboxing.

01:35:46.000 That's not fair at all.

01:35:46.000 Not jumping him in an alley.

01:35:47.000 Even if he's 100 pounds heavier than you, if you're a skilled fighter and you are and you've been training for a long time, that's not fair.

01:35:54.000 Not only is it not fair, it's kind of creepy.

01:35:56.000 It's kind of creepy.

01:35:56.000 Hold on a second, man.

01:35:57.000 For real.

01:35:58.000 As a martial artist, you're not picking on another martial artist. 0.98

01:36:01.000 You're picking on someone who you know is completely athletically inept.

01:36:05.000 Someone who I know is not going to take the fight.

01:36:07.000 Then don't do it.

01:36:09.000 Because then you're opening up the gates to someone wanting to do that to you. 1.00

01:36:12.000 And then the next thing is, look, you're lefty, vegan, socialist-y bullshit. 1.00

01:36:17.000 I've had enough of it. 1.00

01:36:19.000 I'm a 185-pound meat eater. 1.00

01:36:21.000 How about I come smash your fucking face in? 1.00

01:36:23.000 Stop giving your followers ideas. 1.00

01:36:25.000 Why is that happening?

01:36:27.000 Why is that happening?

01:36:27.000 Because you open up the door to challenging someone to a physical confrontation with violence.

01:36:32.000 And that's what kickboxing is.

01:36:34.000 Whether it's agreed upon or not, that is what it is.

01:36:36.000 I mean, let's be honest with it.

01:36:38.000 You're not even talking about jiu-jitsu.

01:36:40.000 You're talking about kickboxing.

01:36:41.000 Let me tell you something, man.

01:36:43.000 You're in a fight, and you're going to hurt somebody. 0.99

01:36:45.000 You're going to try to kick them, and you're going to try to punch them with all your might. 0.81

01:36:48.000 You're talking about assaulting a guy because you disagree with him.

01:36:51.000 I have had so many people in real life challenge me to fights after shows. 1.00

01:36:56.000 People that I could take if I was an asshole. 1.00

01:36:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:59.000 And I've never...

01:37:00.000 You sure?

01:37:01.000 Are you sure that you could take them?

01:37:02.000 How do you know?

01:37:02.000 By looking at them?

01:37:03.000 There were some ragey people.

01:37:04.000 Let me tell you something.

01:37:05.000 I know some ragey people that could wrestle. 0.98

01:37:07.000 Some tiny... 1.00

01:37:07.000 And they'll fucking shoot a double on you and smash your face in. 1.00

01:37:10.000 You'd be shocked. 1.00

01:37:11.000 Wrestlers are the bane of my existence. 1.00

01:37:12.000 You'd be shocked at how many people out there who could kick your ass. 1.00

01:37:15.000 So how do you know? 1.00

01:37:16.000 You look at Jiu Jitsu. 1.00

01:37:16.000 I'm like these fucking 5'2 Brazilians who are these crazy black belts. 1.00

01:37:20.000 Oh yeah. 1.00

01:37:20.000 But that's one of the reasons that I would never fight. 1.00

01:37:25.000 I would never fight.

01:37:26.000 But you're saying that you know that you could take them but you're being nice and I'm saying you don't know. 0.98

01:37:30.000 It's being silly. 0.90

01:37:31.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:37:32.000 Or I'll get the shit kicked out of me. 0.99

01:37:33.000 So one of these things will happen. 0.99

01:37:34.000 Neither of them are great. 0.99

01:37:35.000 If I get the shit kicked out of me... 0.99

01:37:36.000 Or even worse, you get in a fucking grueling drawn out brawl where no one can get in and he doesn't want to quit and you got to keep going. 0.99

01:37:43.000 But does this make it on YouTube and get me more Twitter followers? 0.93

01:37:46.000 But would you fight Tosh?

01:37:48.000 For real?

01:37:49.000 Yes, of course.

01:37:49.000 Well, I wanted to point this out first before I went to the Tosh thing.

01:37:52.000 So here's what I wanted to say.

01:37:55.000 Obviously, this dude is not going to take this fight.

01:37:57.000 Obviously, we're not going to fight.

01:37:59.000 And in the article I wrote, I was like, I'm not encouraging a society of violence.

01:38:04.000 I don't think this is how you handle problems.

01:38:05.000 But I just wanted him to have to respond where it's like, if you are going to be the one who starts the violent rhetoric.

01:38:12.000 Because at no point did I say, I challenge you to a fight.

01:38:14.000 I said, if you want to beat a socialist...

01:38:16.000 I will volunteer.

01:38:17.000 I understand, but do you not understand that it's a glaring ego situation?

01:38:23.000 Of course it is.

01:38:24.000 You are putting yourself in this champion role, like you're going to step in, and you're putting so much attention on yourself with a statement like that, and it completely changes just your opinion of what you feel is wrong with his stances.

01:38:40.000 And it becomes a personal thing between a man and another man who lives a different way. 0.97

01:38:45.000 And it takes the attention away from the issue, and it puts the attention on you as some sort of fucking Kim Kardashian figure. 0.95

01:38:52.000 And it's not the right way to approach it. 0.96

01:38:55.000 But the only problem was, no one... 0.98

01:38:58.000 It was the first time that these fucking remarks and things got attention. 0.99

01:39:03.000 But it didn't get attention. 0.99

01:39:06.000 It got attention amongst us.

01:39:07.000 It didn't get attention in the real world.

01:39:09.000 It was a publicity stunt.

01:39:10.000 So you're saying by – He's a complete figure of speech.

01:39:36.000 How many people have said that? 1.00

01:39:37.000 These idiots today, they need the fucking sense slapped into them. 1.00

01:39:40.000 They don't advocate slapping people to make them smarter. 1.00

01:39:43.000 He said physically, and then he paused and he goes, or literally.

01:39:47.000 That's even better. 0.99

01:39:47.000 But again, to me and you, we see that and we're like, of course, like I said before, you're not going to fucking do it. 0.99

01:39:55.000 But I mean you look at some of these fucking crazy people. 0.99

01:39:58.000 You look at like the Moss story. 1.00

01:39:59.000 You look at a lot of these fucking like right-wing militia types. 0.99

01:40:03.000 Like they're looking for people to fucking give them permission to do it. 1.00

01:40:06.000 You look at the abortion clinics. 0.99

01:40:08.000 And of course I did not think I was going to be the fucking hero. 0.99

01:40:11.000 There was going to be a fight. 0.98

01:40:12.000 I was going to make this guy change all of his views. 0.99

01:40:14.000 All I wanted was finally someone just to be like, if you're going to use this violent rhetoric, just like if you're going to use this violent rhetoric in the Middle East, go fucking over there. 0.99

01:40:22.000 Go say it to one of their faces. 0.99

01:40:23.000 Go say it to someone who can actually defend themselves.

01:40:26.000 But I don't think that's violent rhetoric.

01:40:27.000 I disagree.

01:40:28.000 I think it's a figure of speech.

01:40:30.000 His career was a violent rhetoric, and that was just the one where I'm like, okay, I can say I volunteer to be the socialist in the tongue-in-cheek fashion.

01:40:37.000 I really think you should never do that again.

01:40:40.000 Well, that wasn't going to be my bit from now on.

01:40:42.000 I'm going to be the guy who challenges people with rights.

01:40:44.000 The only reason why people do it is for their own ego.

01:40:46.000 I mean, you're involving your own ability to do something, your own physical athleticism, in with some debate where it totally doesn't belong.

01:40:54.000 When you do something like that, it becomes an almost indefensible publicity stunt.

01:40:59.000 Well, it is one of those things, though, when it's like...

01:41:01.000 You're introducing yourself into an argument.

01:41:03.000 I mean, it's not like you're even involved in a debate with him.

01:41:06.000 But at the same time, like...

01:41:07.000 People have to do that.

01:41:09.000 People have to, not to that extent I'm saying, but people have to, if there are people in the world who keep espousing violent rhetoric that does have consequences, that does lead us into wars, that does get people hurt, I'm not saying go challenge people to fights or anything like that, but sometimes you do have to do something to draw more publicity than, like if I just tweeted him and I was like, hey man, that's fucked up rhetoric, or hey, I don't think we should have gone to Iraq.

01:41:34.000 It wouldn't have gotten as much of the attention as it did.

01:41:38.000 Right, but it didn't accomplish anything.

01:41:40.000 You're saying you came close to missing.

01:41:43.000 It didn't accomplish anything.

01:41:45.000 You're saying, well, you came closer to missing this way.

01:41:47.000 Of course, but it was a shot.

01:41:48.000 And he had to respond, and he finally like… Do you see my point?

01:41:52.000 Yes, 100%.

01:41:53.000 Does it make you embarrassed?

01:41:55.000 A little bit, but at the same time, it's like, I guess I just want an answer of what to do, because I don't like that people can go on publicly and make livings with rhetoric that gets people killed.

01:42:10.000 I agree.

01:42:11.000 And that gets people hurt.

01:42:11.000 I agree.

01:42:12.000 So it's like, sure, mine was a silly publicity stunt from a comedian, right?

01:42:17.000 You know, did I think Jonah Goldberg would be like, oh, you know, I'm going to open up a shelter for Arabs because, you know, that vegan showed me the way, but... 1.00

01:42:24.000 You didn't even act as someone who was protesting his point of view.

01:42:29.000 You almost act like a heckler.

01:42:31.000 No, I mean...

01:42:31.000 You acted like someone who introduced yourself into the equation, your own physical prowess into the equation of, listen, if you think you're bad, I'm going to represent socialists and I'm a vegan and I'm a lefty and I'm ready to fight you.

01:42:44.000 Because my rhetoric was the same hyperbolic...

01:42:47.000 What if he said yes?

01:42:47.000 He goes, come on, man.

01:42:48.000 You little vegan pussy. 1.00

01:42:50.000 Let's fucking fight. 1.00

01:42:51.000 And then you're going to fight and represent him? 1.00

01:42:52.000 Really?

01:42:53.000 If he was that into it.

01:42:54.000 You would really do it.

01:42:55.000 A headgear for charity?

01:42:57.000 If he was that into it?

01:42:59.000 I don't know.

01:43:00.000 Do you see how that's kind of gross?

01:43:02.000 Of course, but that would never happen.

01:43:05.000 But it's the exact same as someone writes a blog post, someone writes a response blog post, right?

01:43:09.000 I just use the hyperbolic language of fighting, which he was the one who introduced into the conversation.

01:43:13.000 It's not really, though.

01:43:15.000 He's talking about children having the scent smacked into him, which has been said throughout history.

01:43:20.000 It's not a real, it's a figure of speech.

01:43:22.000 It was the history of a violent rhetoric.

01:43:25.000 I understand.

01:43:26.000 And so that was just something where I was like...

01:43:28.000 It's hard for people to grasp that.

01:43:30.000 You know that, right?

01:43:30.000 When you respond to one thing in particular, it better be warranted because people aren't going to take into account the history of someone's obsession for violence.

01:43:39.000 But I mean, it ended like I thought it would end, where it was like...

01:43:42.000 It didn't begin.

01:43:43.000 He had to respond.

01:43:44.000 It was funny.

01:43:46.000 No one got hurt.

01:43:47.000 No one took it seriously.

01:43:49.000 And it was just kind of like, let's just remind people that this guy who has such authority and who go on the news with such authority without people even asking follow-up questions, even being like, you said the same thing about Iraq.

01:44:03.000 Do you think Iraq was a successful?

01:44:05.000 Blah, blah, blah.

01:44:06.000 I mean, this was a guy who said they would be celebrating us in two years.

01:44:08.000 Why don't you threaten to fight Ann Coulter?

01:44:10.000 That would be a more fair-sized contest.

01:44:12.000 I think Daniel Tosh.

01:44:14.000 You got the referee Joe Rogan here.

01:44:16.000 He doesn't like Daniel Tosh.

01:44:17.000 Well, no.

01:44:18.000 It's not that he doesn't like Daniel Tosh.

01:44:19.000 That we have to talk about. 0.99

01:44:20.000 You tweeted a bunch of shit that infuriated comedians when Daniel Tosh said to a woman, she yelled out... 0.99

01:44:29.000 If you don't know the whole story, this is the exact story. 1.00

01:44:31.000 Daniel Tosh is on stage.

01:44:33.000 And he was talking to the audience about, you know, what should he talk about next, and someone yells out, rape.

01:44:38.000 And he goes on, he starts saying, oh, yeah, like, that's funny.

01:44:44.000 And, like, what's funny?

01:44:45.000 The humiliation?

01:44:47.000 What is it?

01:44:47.000 The violence?

01:44:48.000 He goes on this rant of all the things that are unfunny about rape.

01:44:52.000 At which point, some woman yells out, actually, nothing is funny about rape. 0.97

01:44:58.000 Like, to stop this conversation now, just all self-righteously. 0.98

01:45:02.000 And he goes, wouldn't it be funny if like five guys raped her right now? 0.98

01:45:05.000 Which is the comedian thing to say in that scenario and is in no way endorsing rape or rape of this woman. 1.00

01:45:12.000 But he had just gotten done in her thick fucking stupid head. 1.00

01:45:16.000 He had just gotten done saying all the things that are wrong with rape. 1.00

01:45:19.000 And she is so unironically arguing with him still, saying, actually, nothing is funny about rape. 1.00

01:45:26.000 She's a fucking idiot. 1.00

01:45:28.000 And then she goes online and writes a blog about it. 1.00

01:45:31.000 A huge, dumb, stupid, diarrhea-of-the-brain blog about what happened when she heckled Daniel Tosh. 1.00

01:45:38.000 And he happened to say the one thing that a comedian would say in that scenario. 1.00

01:45:42.000 When he's saying all these terrible things that are...

01:45:46.000 things that are horrible about rape...

01:45:48.000 And saying, of course he can't joke about rape because it's nothing funny.

01:45:51.000 And then she self-righteously interjects, actually, rape is never funny. 0.99

01:45:56.000 And he goes, wouldn't it be funny if five guys raped her? 0.98

01:45:58.000 Okay, that is what started off. 0.99

01:46:00.000 And you defended that woman.

01:46:02.000 Right.

01:46:02.000 So, man, if you didn't like the Jonah Goldberg thing, prepare to be furious.

01:46:07.000 It's always such a wild adventure on Twitter after I do your show because I get half people who I'm either friends or they will be fans for life.

01:46:15.000 They're like, bro, I'm a jiu-jitsu guy and I'm really progressive and blah, blah, blah. 0.99

01:46:18.000 And then there's like, hey, vegan queer homo, I work for Blackwater and I'm going to shoot you because I love rape jokes. 1.00

01:46:25.000 And it's like, oh no. 1.00

01:46:26.000 So I'm about to get the lash.

01:46:29.000 Here's what I think.

01:46:30.000 If you talked to me five years ago, maybe even less, I wouldn't have...

01:46:36.000 Even thought about defending a heckler, especially because I have been heckled my entire career.

01:46:41.000 I'm like, I think the YouTube clip of me with the most hits is me berating, meanly, a guy and a girl heckler.

01:46:49.000 On my new CD, I had four dudes who heckled me, and it's a track.

01:46:54.000 I just attacked, attacked, attacked.

01:46:58.000 And when all I thought about, and when all I obsessed with, and when all I listened to was comedy...

01:47:05.000 That was always the most important thing to me, right?

01:47:07.000 It was the freedom of speech, which I still believe in.

01:47:10.000 It was no one censors a comedian.

01:47:12.000 You can make anything funny, which I also still believe.

01:47:15.000 And that was it.

01:47:17.000 No matter how offensive, whether it was the Dane Cook-Aurora joke, whether it was Tracy Morgan, the murdering the gay kid thing, it's just like, dude, comedy is comedy.

01:47:26.000 They're experimenting.

01:47:27.000 Maybe it wasn't funny, but whatever.

01:47:31.000 But just like in a political debate, You know, if you disagree with someone, you challenge them to a fight, and then you get yelled at.

01:47:39.000 If you disagree with someone, you should respond, right?

01:47:43.000 And I'm not talking about the girl.

01:47:43.000 I'm talking about me right now.

01:47:44.000 And then I'll talk about the girl, who I also...

01:47:46.000 Does not sound like she would be a lot of fun to hang out with. 0.98

01:47:51.000 And so ever since kind of doing more, reading more politics than comedy...

01:47:56.000 Getting involved in just different communities that weren't comedy, whether it's jiu-jitsu, whether it's politics, activism, whatever.

01:48:04.000 As much as comedy, I love the art so much, it wasn't this defend to the death thing as much because I saw that the world was bigger than comedy.

01:48:14.000 I think there are a lot of comics who think that this is it.

01:48:16.000 It's all about the comedy community and this is all we got.

01:48:20.000 No matter what we do, we have to defend our own.

01:48:24.000 That's a pretty absolute stance to take in this particular situation, though.

01:48:29.000 Well, here's what I was going to say.

01:48:31.000 Because that's not what anybody's saying.

01:48:32.000 No.

01:48:33.000 You're sort of building up a straw man defense.

01:48:36.000 How so?

01:48:37.000 Well, you know, by saying that, you know, by having someone who's arguing already the point that comedy should, that's not what anybody's saying.

01:48:44.000 No one is...

01:48:45.000 Right now, I'm describing exactly what I used to do.

01:48:47.000 What I used to think.

01:48:48.000 I mean, me.

01:48:49.000 100% me.

01:48:50.000 Okay, so you used to think this way.

01:48:52.000 You used to think that comedy is most important, more important than people's happiness or feelings. 1.00

01:48:58.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:48:58.000 It's comedy. 1.00

01:48:59.000 Comedy is more important.

01:49:00.000 All I knew was comedy...

01:49:01.000 When I was not good at comedy.

01:49:03.000 But now you disagree.

01:49:04.000 And what do you disagree with? 1.00

01:49:05.000 You think that now a woman should be able to say something stupid and uninformed like that? 1.00

01:49:09.000 No, I hate hecklers. 1.00

01:49:10.000 I hate hecklers.

01:49:11.000 But you supported her over Daniel Tosh.

01:49:14.000 No.

01:49:14.000 Here's what I said.

01:49:16.000 You support heckling before you support rape culture.

01:49:20.000 That's what you said.

01:49:20.000 Yes.

01:49:21.000 100%.

01:49:22.000 Okay, but what does that mean?

01:49:25.000 I was heckled.

01:49:26.000 For people who make it a free speech issue, of course he has the right to say that.

01:49:31.000 Just like...

01:49:32.000 He doesn't just have the right to say it.

01:49:33.000 It was the thing to say that was funny.

01:49:35.000 It's not like we believed in it. 0.97

01:49:36.000 It's not like we believed he really wanted people to rape her. 0.77

01:49:39.000 Of course not. 0.99

01:49:39.000 He was saying something ridiculous and quick off the top of his head. 0.99

01:49:43.000 Of course not. 0.99

01:49:43.000 Right, but why did you tweet what you tweeted without saying that? 0.99

01:49:47.000 Because when...

01:49:49.000 There are one in four girls who have been sexually assaulted or raped, and those are just the ones that are reported, right?

01:49:54.000 Because it's the most unreported crime we have.

01:49:56.000 Because, largely, a lot of people don't take rape seriously.

01:50:01.000 There's a lot of victim blaming.

01:50:03.000 I wish it was really accurate to describe how many people don't report it, but unfortunately it's not. 0.59

01:50:09.000 So when you say one in four, there is a lot of fuckery when it comes to numbers like unreported crimes.

01:50:14.000 By the way, I'm not saying this in that people are not being victimized. 0.90

01:50:18.000 They unquestionably are.

01:50:20.000 I'm saying that when you get into weird numbers like unreported numbers, there's a reason why you can't use those.

01:50:24.000 No, no, no.

01:50:24.000 Those are the reported numbers.

01:50:26.000 One in four is reported.

01:50:27.000 Yes, one in four is reported.

01:50:28.000 25% of all women have been raped.

01:50:30.000 Yes. 0.83

01:50:30.000 Or sexually assaulted. 0.83

01:50:31.000 Really? 0.98

01:50:31.000 Not raped. 0.98

01:50:32.000 Is that true? 0.91

01:50:33.000 Sexually assaulted.

01:50:33.000 Are you sure about that?

01:50:34.000 Punch it up.

01:50:35.000 Okay.

01:50:35.000 What percentage of women have been sexually assaulted?

01:50:37.000 And a lot of them...

01:50:39.000 Not enough.

01:50:42.000 And a lot of them...

01:50:44.000 We all probably, at least statistically, know someone who was.

01:50:49.000 There's probably someone in the audience who was.

01:50:52.000 And Daniel Tosh...

01:50:55.000 I think comedians should push boundaries.

01:50:57.000 100%.

01:50:57.000 It's close.

01:50:58.000 It's one in every six.

01:50:59.000 It's 14%.

01:51:00.000 14%.

01:51:02.000 That's a lot.

01:51:04.000 2.8% attempted rape. 1.00

01:51:06.000 There's a lot of dudes suck at rape. 1.00

01:51:08.000 And there's a lot of pressure. 1.00

01:51:10.000 See, you giggled.

01:51:11.000 And you made a tagline to it.

01:51:14.000 That's rape jokes. 1.00

01:51:14.000 You just contributed to rape culture. 1.00

01:51:16.000 Dude, I went on fucking MSNBC and talked about it. 1.00

01:51:18.000 I did 15 minutes on rape. 1.00

01:51:19.000 Last night.

01:51:20.000 But you see that what you did by saying that you would rather someone heckle you than contribute to rape culture.

01:51:27.000 Right. 1.00

01:51:27.000 What the fuck is rape culture? 1.00

01:51:28.000 So I still have to explain this, right? 1.00

01:51:29.000 Yeah.

01:51:32.000 If we're going to talk about freedom of speech, I, in Texas, had a dude literally run to the stage.

01:51:38.000 It was my closing bit too. 0.94

01:51:40.000 All I had to do was wait 10 fucking seconds and say, I closed on a thing against the war. 1.00

01:51:44.000 I said, if you keep doing that, I'm going to kick your ass. 1.00

01:51:47.000 So that's actually like violating freedom of speech. 1.00

01:51:49.000 This girl fucking heckled, this dumb heckle, and she left. 1.00

01:51:52.000 This dude is saying, if you keep talking, I'm going to kick your ass. 1.00

01:51:55.000 Right? 1.00

01:51:56.000 And I wasn't like, I wish you got fucking shot in a rack. 0.99

01:51:59.000 I dealt with how the situation was weird. 0.99

01:52:02.000 Okay, but this is your situation.

01:52:04.000 Let's not confuse the issue by bringing in a whole other story. 0.97

01:52:07.000 No, but I just want to preface it that I fucking loathe hecklers and I've been heckled my entire career. 0.98

01:52:13.000 That's not just heckling. 0.99

01:52:14.000 You were threatened.

01:52:14.000 I was threatened.

01:52:15.000 But I've also been heckled. 0.99

01:52:16.000 I've had shit thrown at me. 0.98

01:52:18.000 I'm not a fan of audience participation. 0.99

01:52:19.000 So why did you support that woman?

01:52:21.000 Because to me...

01:52:23.000 Rape culture is the fact that Because rape is dealt with so lightly in this country, lots of women don't report it. 0.99

01:52:36.000 Lots of women don't report simple sexual assault. 1.00

01:52:38.000 Fucking dude comes up, grabs your tits at a club because she doesn't want to be called a slut. 1.00

01:52:43.000 She doesn't want to be called drunk. 1.00

01:52:44.000 She doesn't want to defend herself when she feels like she was assaulted, right?

01:52:48.000 And so to me in that moment, as much as I care about comedy, you know, when I started reading...

01:52:56.000 A lot of progressive blogs, when they talk about rape, there's something called a trigger warning.

01:53:00.000 In the beginning of the article, it says trigger warning. 0.91

01:53:02.000 And I never knew what that meant, but that means that some girls have been so fucking traumatized or guys have been so traumatized after being raped that they can't read about it. 0.96

01:53:10.000 They can't read about it. 0.98

01:53:11.000 They'll have fucking flashbacks, so you have to put this trigger warning. 0.99

01:53:13.000 On top. 0.99

01:53:14.000 And so to me, it's like, I don't know, man, if it comes down to, and there were feminists that I went on TV with, like feminist writers who are like demonized as these humorless cunts, who were fucking quoting Sarah Silverman, the Wanda Sykes rape bit, the Carlin rape bit, you know, there are definitely ways to do it. 1.00

01:53:31.000 But if there's a girl in an audience, even that girl who heckled, if she was fucking raped and even if Tosh is totally 100% kidding, which she was, and says, wouldn't it be funny if five guys rape you? 0.99

01:53:42.000 You know what? 0.99

01:53:43.000 I do think that that girl having a fucking flashback or any girl in that audience having a fucking rape flashback, I'm like... 1.00

01:53:50.000 It's not worth a bit. 0.99

01:53:53.000 And there's so much stuff with rape that you can talk about, that you can make funny.

01:53:59.000 And I think that all topics in comedy should be addressed.

01:54:02.000 And I think the best comedians are the ones that can address those really edgy topics. 0.98

01:54:06.000 But if it's going to be like a sloppily, it would be funny if you were raped. 0.92

01:54:10.000 Well, listen, man, this is not something he's constructing. 0.99

01:54:14.000 He's responding to someone saying something really stupid about rape that completely limits the amount of subjects he can respond with. 0.99

01:54:20.000 He has to respond with something that applies to rape. 1.00

01:54:24.000 But again, I didn't, with the military, there are tons of other comics who have dealt with hecklers who have done it Well, you didn't because someone wanted to kick your ass. 1.00

01:54:34.000 Someone ran up to the stage and wanted to kick your ass. 1.00

01:54:36.000 You realized you were in danger. 1.00

01:54:37.000 That's completely facetious to say that you didn't do it for no more reason. 0.96

01:54:40.000 And to say that this guy, that his idea, him saying, don't you think it would be funny if five guys raped her like now? 0.90

01:54:48.000 He's not supporting rape. 0.84

01:54:49.000 And if you are that sensitive, You do not belong in a comedy club. 1.00

01:54:54.000 If the word rape will send you into a fucking panic, I feel sad for you. 0.99

01:55:01.000 You are very unfortunate that this has happened to you. 1.00

01:55:03.000 Maybe a comedy club is not the best place for you. 1.00

01:55:05.000 Maybe you should go somewhere else where it is in a 100% uncensored ride through the mind and imagination of Daniel Tosh not to be interrupted by a moron. 1.00

01:55:16.000 And when that moron does interrupt with something completely non-ironic, Ridiculous. 1.00

01:55:22.000 He was saying that rape is bad. 1.00

01:55:25.000 Of course.

01:55:26.000 But let's say that she was... 0.99

01:55:27.000 Hypothetically. 1.00

01:55:28.000 Tough shit. 1.00

01:55:29.000 Hypothetically, she shut her fucking mouth when she's at a comedy club. 1.00

01:55:32.000 If you have been traumatized to a situation where you could be fucking enjoying your night at the comedy club, right? 1.00

01:55:39.000 And I'm not saying this was her. 0.67

01:55:39.000 We don't know who she is. 0.67

01:55:41.000 Let's say she was enjoying her night at the comedy club. 0.99

01:55:43.000 She was raped. 1.00

01:55:44.000 In a horrible fucking fashion. 1.00

01:55:46.000 Not that there's like a pleasant way. 1.00

01:55:47.000 Very unfortunate.

01:55:48.000 And if he was saying what he was saying... 0.99

01:55:49.000 No, and then that just fucking comes out. 0.98

01:55:50.000 That's just an emotional response. 0.99

01:55:52.000 You remember like... 0.98

01:55:52.000 She needs to grow the fuck up. 0.98

01:55:53.000 And that's when a guy says something like that to you and it's gross and everybody laughs and it's ridiculous. 1.00

01:55:59.000 When you go home and write a blog, you don't need people supporting you because you're an idiot. 1.00

01:56:03.000 And that's why it happened. 1.00

01:56:04.000 But again, that's PTSD shit. 0.99

01:56:05.000 I'm like, you can't... 0.99

01:56:06.000 If somebody gets...

01:56:07.000 She didn't say in her blog that she was raped.

01:56:09.000 She said in her blog that she felt offended that he would joke around about rape.

01:56:13.000 No, I was talking about...

01:56:14.000 You were saying PTSD. So the hypothetical doesn't work on her.

01:56:18.000 I was saying, let's say that girl was.

01:56:19.000 Look, if that girl did write that in her blog, it would be a totally different blog. 1.00

01:56:23.000 By warranting and justifying this moronic opinion on someone Having an ad-lib to deal with a heckler, what you're doing is you're supporting the idea that the positive idea behind not raping someone is more important than a show. 0.95

01:56:40.000 It's more important than jokes. 0.97

01:56:41.000 It's more important that you never bring up the idea that rape can be funny.

01:56:45.000 Because then you're limiting that topic.

01:56:47.000 If rape can ever be funny, it can be funny for a heckler. 0.95

01:56:51.000 But that's not, again, that's the opposite of what I said right now.

01:56:54.000 But if rape can ever be funny, it can be funny when you know, A, someone is not being serious about it, and two, someone is talking about her rape isn't funny.

01:57:02.000 That automatically makes it funny.

01:57:04.000 If they're a heckler, if a heckler talks about rape not being that funny ever, and then the comic says, wouldn't it be funny if somebody raped her, you know he doesn't mean that. 0.85

01:57:14.000 His intent is not that a bunch of people should storm and rape, but that is the correct thing for him to say. 0.98

01:57:19.000 When you're dealing with a nightclub comedian and people are drinking alcohol, that would be funny.

01:57:23.000 When I wrote that tweet, that was after...

01:57:26.000 Do you see my point at all?

01:57:27.000 Yes.

01:57:28.000 And what's the difference between Miss Rachel Rape listening to this podcast and having a flashback right now? 1.00

01:57:33.000 We didn't give her any kind of rape warning before we did this podcast. 0.99

01:57:36.000 All you're talking about rape is trickling. 0.92

01:57:38.000 This is like crazy rape talk. 0.94

01:57:40.000 But I'm also not saying like... 1.00

01:57:42.000 Hey, Rachel, you specifically, I hope you get raped. 1.00

01:57:45.000 But she also... 1.00

01:57:46.000 He didn't really mean that she should get raped. 1.00

01:57:48.000 What he was doing was being a stand-up comedian in a fucking club where one person has to chime in their dumb shit. 1.00

01:57:54.000 Here's when I wrote that. 1.00

01:57:55.000 The tweet you... 0.99

01:57:57.000 When it first happened, I essentially retweeted the article and said something like, Well, that was fucking shitty. 0.98

01:58:04.000 Because that's how I felt. 0.97

01:58:05.000 I didn't care that much about it.

01:58:06.000 I was like, eh, it's another comic who's, you know, whatever.

01:58:11.000 When I started getting really upset and writing the angrier tweets and writing more and more about it… Is it when you listen to people who are reading the tweets and you're like, this is a good opportunity?

01:58:19.000 I am so mad right now. 0.79

01:58:20.000 Maybe I should start a fight with rape? 1.00

01:58:22.000 Ask Rape if Rape wants to kickbox. 1.00

01:58:23.000 I just didn't understand why this was like our hill to die on. 1.00

01:58:29.000 Like, comics don't have fucking health insurance. 0.98

01:58:32.000 Like, comics have not really united around much. 0.99

01:58:35.000 And it was just so bizarre. 0.89

01:58:37.000 Like, people didn't rally around fucking Dane Cook the next week for the Aurora shooting. 0.98

01:58:41.000 You know what I mean? 0.98

01:58:42.000 Like, when he made jokes about that.

01:58:44.000 Like, there was no big...

01:58:45.000 It was just that...

01:58:46.000 People were just so...

01:58:48.000 The tweets I was getting were crazy. 0.99

01:58:50.000 I was watching these bloggers who have blogged about being rape survivors, retweeting these amateur comics and people like that who thought if they fucking... 0.99

01:58:59.000 Tweeted some rape survivor, fucking Daniel Tosh would be friends with them or let them open for them. 1.00

01:59:04.000 They were tweeting like, I hope you get raped and just like more fucking rape threats. 1.00

01:59:08.000 Right, well you introduced yourself into the argument. 1.00

01:59:10.000 Again, you introduced yourself and your opinion into the argument so you were judged.

01:59:14.000 You said that you feel that you would rather be heckled than contribute to rape culture.

01:59:20.000 You introduced you.

01:59:22.000 Oh, yeah.

01:59:22.000 Into the argument.

01:59:23.000 So, of course, you're going to get whiplash.

01:59:27.000 Of course, you're going to get backlash or blowback.

01:59:28.000 No, I'm not saying about me.

01:59:28.000 I'm saying that when you have these...

01:59:30.000 No, I actually didn't get it that bad.

01:59:32.000 I mean, this is the first time I've...

01:59:33.000 But you just said you did.

01:59:34.000 You were just telling us about...

01:59:35.000 No, no, no.

01:59:35.000 I said bloggers, feminist bloggers who have written about being rape survivors were getting rape threats.

01:59:40.000 But you got a lot of, like, shitty tweets, too. 0.99

01:59:42.000 I mean, I got some shitty tweets. 0.98

01:59:44.000 Yeah, for sure. 0.87

01:59:45.000 But, like...

01:59:46.000 That's fine.

01:59:47.000 But you're not shocked.

01:59:47.000 It's not about...

01:59:48.000 No.

01:59:48.000 Because at no point was I trying to make this one...

01:59:51.000 The Jonah Goldberg thing was one thing.

01:59:52.000 But this I wasn't trying to make about me.

01:59:54.000 The Jonah Goldberg?

01:59:55.000 That's the other guy?

01:59:55.000 That's the dude, yeah.

01:59:56.000 I just wanted...

01:59:58.000 The people who follow me to know that like...

02:00:02.000 Because most comics defended it.

02:00:06.000 And so I just wanted girls to know that I'm like...

02:00:09.000 You know, if you've been through this...

02:00:11.000 I don't.

02:00:11.000 I don't think that's funny.

02:00:13.000 Rape is never funny. 1.00

02:00:15.000 Real rape. 1.00

02:00:15.000 This is just a work. 1.00

02:00:17.000 It's just a piece of work.

02:00:19.000 It's a piece of fiction that he's creating to deal with the environment of a stand-up comedy club where he's being forced to live ad lib.

02:00:27.000 But again, when I... We started talking about rape culture.

02:00:30.000 It wasn't specifically when I half-heartedly retweeted the Gawker article about Taj.

02:00:35.000 It was about the responses that people started to get that were so violent What were they saying?

02:00:58.000 That just, like, wrote a piece about it and, like, would contrast, like, what Tosh said to, like, the Wanda Sykes rape joke or the Carlin rape joke.

02:01:04.000 And, like, they analyzed it because that's their job. 1.00

02:01:06.000 You know how fucking dumb they have to be to actually analyze that? 1.00

02:01:08.000 The whole thing is so simple. 1.00

02:01:10.000 But I'm like, that's what they do.

02:01:11.000 They're media critics.

02:01:12.000 They analyze TV. They analyze.

02:01:16.000 Like, that's just what they do.

02:01:16.000 They write about popular culture.

02:01:17.000 And a lot of times they do it because that's their job and they need something to talk about.

02:01:22.000 Right.

02:01:22.000 So they pick a side or they pick a stance and it might not necessarily be logical.

02:01:26.000 Right. 1.00

02:01:26.000 But the response isn't necessarily be like, I'm going to tell that person I hope they get raped. 1.00

02:01:31.000 You know what I mean? 0.90

02:01:31.000 Like that's just one of those things where it's just like – I have written stuff that so many people disagree with. 0.90

02:01:38.000 I've never gotten rape threats.

02:01:39.000 You've probably never gotten rape threats.

02:01:40.000 Buckle up, son, because they're on the way. 0.99

02:01:43.000 You're going to get some death squad rape threats. 0.98

02:01:45.000 Yeah, you've already had seven today. 0.99

02:01:46.000 You haven't checked your Twitter since we've been on this podcast.

02:01:49.000 It's coming, son.

02:01:50.000 It's just in one big letter. 0.98

02:01:52.000 It just says rape. 1.00

02:01:52.000 Rape, rape, rape, rape. 1.00

02:01:54.000 140 characters. 0.98

02:01:56.000 But yeah, man, I'm like, I just don't think we know what that's like.

02:02:00.000 Yeah, we don't.

02:02:01.000 You know what they don't know what it's like? 1.00

02:02:03.000 They're almost like trying to get through a fucking show on Friday night and some dummy has to yell out something stupid. 1.00

02:02:08.000 It doesn't make sense. 1.00

02:02:09.000 But again, I'm like, you can deal with that.

02:02:12.000 We both deal with that.

02:02:14.000 Guess what?

02:02:15.000 He dealt with it.

02:02:15.000 And in my opinion, he dealt with it the right way.

02:02:17.000 And that's not being pro-rape.

02:02:19.000 It's just being words.

02:02:21.000 These are words.

02:02:22.000 It's not actions.

02:02:23.000 And it's not in support of rape in any way, shape, or fashion.

02:02:26.000 It's a joke.

02:02:27.000 And if you can't realize he's joking, you are unfit to listen to other human beings talk.

02:02:31.000 I don't know, man. 0.99

02:02:32.000 If you're influenced by that, if you're influenced by Daniel Tosh saying, would it be funny if she got raped by five people? 1.00

02:02:37.000 If you were influenced by that, you are clearly mentally incapable of communicating with people. 1.00

02:02:44.000 I don't know, man. 0.99

02:02:44.000 It should be removed from society. 0.99

02:02:46.000 Both me and you have heard jokes that were like, that sucks. 0.96

02:02:48.000 That wasn't a bad joke, dude. 0.84

02:02:50.000 Right.

02:02:50.000 No, no, no.

02:02:51.000 I'm saying it.

02:02:52.000 Everyone is subjective. 0.99

02:02:53.000 And if you've been through a certain thing in your life, if you've been threatened with rape or if you have been raped or if you've been assaulted or if you live in a culture where a lot of fucking girls are raped that you have to think about walking home by yourself and shit like that, maybe that shit's not as funny to you. 0.98

02:03:06.000 And that's okay. 0.98

02:03:07.000 Just like it's okay for him to say what he wants to say, it's okay for that girl to get offended. 0.98

02:03:13.000 It's okay for me not to think it's fucking funny.

02:03:15.000 It's okay for you to think it was the right thing to say. 0.93

02:03:17.000 Like all of this stuff is fine.

02:03:19.000 I'm just saying that if I were given the choice, not in this toss situation because everything I wrote and – You said – dude, you criticized it and said that you sometimes are embarrassed of your gender.

02:03:31.000 Of course I am. 0.99

02:03:32.000 When you have girls that are afraid to go to the fucking park because they're going to get raped, yeah, guys can be fucking creepy, right? 1.00

02:03:42.000 Yeah, but that's not you. 1.00

02:03:42.000 That's crazy. 1.00

02:03:44.000 Hold on, stop.

02:03:45.000 First of all, if you say that one in six, does that mean one in six men rape?

02:03:50.000 Does it mean that as well? 0.99

02:03:52.000 Because if that's the case, I'm embarrassed about that part of humanity, but not my fucking gender. 0.99

02:03:59.000 Joe, you're a comic. 0.99

02:04:01.000 You've used hyperbole. 1.00

02:04:02.000 It's fucking Twitter. 0.99

02:04:03.000 Exactly, which is why him saying that someone being raped by five people being funny should also... 1.00

02:04:08.000 Did he say seven?

02:04:09.000 Seven.

02:04:10.000 No, he said five.

02:04:11.000 Tosh said five.

02:04:12.000 I was waiting for you to be like... 1.00

02:04:13.000 Oh, you had to insert that seven, you fucking... 1.00

02:04:16.000 Hit you with a water bottle. 1.00

02:04:17.000 It's his new thing.

02:04:18.000 He says seven all the time.

02:04:19.000 There was part of me hoping that you would be like, seven?

02:04:21.000 Oh.

02:04:22.000 He's a child.

02:04:23.000 I work with a child.

02:04:24.000 I was semi-praying for him to say seven.

02:04:25.000 And you'd be like, seven? 1.00

02:04:27.000 Oh, that's fucked up. 1.00

02:04:27.000 You saying that, that I should be able to recognize her verbally, why don't you recognize it with Tosh saying you should be raped by five people? 1.00

02:04:35.000 I do. 0.99

02:04:35.000 Because I'm a fucking comedian. 0.99

02:04:36.000 Right. 1.00

02:04:37.000 Then why are you ever supporting Because I recognize it.

02:04:40.000 Me, personally. 0.99

02:04:41.000 Just like you recognize it, just like I recognize that religion is silly, you do. 1.00

02:04:44.000 So you're protecting the world from idiots being influenced by Tosh. 1.00

02:04:48.000 I'm not protecting the world. 1.00

02:04:48.000 I'm voicing my opinion that if I had the choice between there's a fucking rape survivor there who could get a triggered flashback or talk about rape in a different way because, again, I don't think it's fucking funny. 1.00

02:05:01.000 I've already burned the comedy bridges. 0.99

02:05:02.000 You might as well go all the way with it.

02:05:03.000 I don't think it's funny to... 0.99

02:05:05.000 Personally, I think it's easy and I think it's a cop-out to joke about people who are already shit on. 0.92

02:05:12.000 To me, I don't think it's edgy. 0.99

02:05:14.000 I don't think you can compare rape jokes to fucking prior. 1.00

02:05:16.000 She's not shit on. 1.00

02:05:16.000 That woman's not shit on. 1.00

02:05:18.000 Rape survivors. 1.00

02:05:19.000 Okay, but you're saying rape survivor when he made a rape joke. 0.58

02:05:22.000 She's not a rape survivor, man.

02:05:24.000 No, I'm saying in the audience.

02:05:26.000 But she's the victim.

02:05:27.000 She's the person who got said that word to.

02:05:29.000 What about the audience right now of this podcast, though?

02:05:31.000 I don't get that. 0.99

02:05:31.000 There's tons of fucking people probably sitting around shaking. 0.99

02:05:34.000 Yeah, you don't have a problem with that. 1.00

02:05:36.000 This is a bullshit argument. 1.00

02:05:37.000 It really is. 1.00

02:05:38.000 Because we're actually, like, talking about the issue.

02:05:40.000 Because it's an issue that's important to be talked about.

02:05:42.000 Again, I didn't read anyone, and I certainly wasn't saying anyone.

02:05:45.000 You can't talk about rape.

02:05:46.000 Don't say the word rape. 1.00

02:05:47.000 Murder is horrible.

02:05:48.000 Robbery is horrible.

02:05:49.000 Armed robbery, car robbery, everything is horrible.

02:05:53.000 It doesn't mean that just because it exists, you can never talk about it because out of fear that someone in the audience may have experienced it. 0.94

02:06:01.000 When someone gets fucking murdered, you're not like, what was he wearing before he got murdered? 0.98

02:06:05.000 Like, rape is the one thing. 1.00

02:06:06.000 Listen, that's bullshit. 1.00

02:06:08.000 Because if someone gets murdered, Someone can say, you shouldn't have been in there. 1.00

02:06:11.000 You shouldn't have been in that neighborhood.

02:06:12.000 And what if the person who knows the person who's been murdered who had to work in a bad place to support their family hears you say that? 0.99

02:06:18.000 It's the same fucking subject. 0.99

02:06:20.000 When you're joking around on stage, especially in a situation where Tosh did, where it's a complete ad lib, for you to analyze it in that way and come up with he's contributing to rape culture is preposterous. 1.00

02:06:32.000 I don't know, man. 0.98

02:06:32.000 I still stand by it because I just don't give a shit Again, in comparison, and this isn't a heckler issue for me anymore. 0.98

02:06:41.000 I don't like people who heckle, right? 0.99

02:06:43.000 I hate it.

02:06:44.000 I hate it. 0.99

02:06:45.000 And I don't think that Daniel Tosh wanted that girl to get raped, right? 0.99

02:06:50.000 But I just don't give a shit about comedy enough that if I'm on stage and I say something that could cause someone in the audience or multiple people in the audience because I'm not doing it in a way that's attacking, I don't know, like a higher – like no one is sitting around being like, you know who's had it too good for too long? 0.99

02:07:09.000 Rape victims. 0.99

02:07:10.000 Like I wish someone would fucking talk about them. 0.99

02:07:12.000 Like I just think – There are smarter ways to fucking do it, and I'm not a fan of it. 0.99

02:07:17.000 What if he said, I would hope that chimps would eat your face? 0.99

02:07:22.000 Is that okay? 0.95

02:07:23.000 Well, because we don't have a history of women getting... 1.00

02:07:26.000 Is that okay?

02:07:26.000 One in six girls haven't had their face eaten up by chimps.

02:07:28.000 What if that woman in the audience was in the audience who got her face eaten up by a chimp, and everybody laughed? 0.98

02:07:33.000 Look at me.

02:07:33.000 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

02:07:35.000 That would be so funny if she got her face bitten off by a chimp. 1.00

02:07:39.000 We don't fucking live in a world where women are afraid to go to the police to report a fucking chimp incident because they're going to be like, well, did you used to fuck the chimp? 1.00

02:07:45.000 Were you drinking when you were getting together with the chimp? 1.00

02:07:47.000 That's a good point.

02:07:48.000 You know what I mean?

02:07:48.000 And that is, to me, when I say culture, I'm not talking about Daniel Tosh.

02:07:53.000 I'm not talking about a comic who talks about rape. 0.98

02:07:55.000 I'm saying that it was just so fucking bizarre to me. 0.99

02:07:58.000 That with all of the shit that comics have not gathered around, that it was like the rape joke. 0.99

02:08:07.000 That's not what they gathered around. 0.99

02:08:11.000 I don't know, man.

02:08:11.000 No, they gathered around someone protesting him shutting down a heckler.

02:08:17.000 And saying that rape is completely off subject.

02:08:20.000 But how is he getting...

02:08:20.000 Why was she yelling out anything?

02:08:22.000 No one said that. 1.00

02:08:22.000 She's a moron. 1.00

02:08:23.000 I went on the fucking liberal station. 1.00

02:08:24.000 She's a moron. 1.00

02:08:25.000 Hosted by... 1.00

02:08:26.000 Hold on, wait.

02:08:26.000 I went on a liberal station.

02:08:27.000 That's why it happened.

02:08:28.000 That's why the whole thing happened. 1.00

02:08:29.000 She's a moron. 1.00

02:08:31.000 Hecklers are morons. 1.00

02:08:33.000 Right. 1.00

02:08:34.000 Not only is she a heckler...

02:08:36.000 She's a heckler that didn't even understand what he was saying.

02:08:39.000 Sure. 1.00

02:08:40.000 But again, if I were raped...

02:08:45.000 Maybe I would act quickly and hastily about a subject that's affected my life so much in such a tragic way. 0.87

02:08:53.000 And again, I don't want to make this – That's a maybe if I was.

02:08:57.000 She didn't write that in her blog and that's what everybody responded to. 0.95

02:09:00.000 It became an issue because she wrote this blog.

02:09:03.000 That's why it became an issue.

02:09:04.000 But not sending the blog off to these websites. 0.99

02:09:06.000 It was her fucking personal blog. 1.00

02:09:07.000 Yeah, but it fucking became viral. 1.00

02:09:09.000 And that's why it became an issue that you talked about. 0.98

02:09:12.000 But again, you keep saying that I don't think rape should ever be mentioned.

02:09:16.000 But you're saying that you think rape can be funny, right?

02:09:19.000 You think that Wanda Sykes can say it and make it funny? 1.00

02:09:21.000 100%.

02:09:22.000 Okay, why didn't Tosh make it funny there?

02:09:24.000 It sounded funny to me.

02:09:25.000 Because it was used in the same way that rape is used, in the sense just to shut someone up.

02:09:30.000 Wow.

02:09:31.000 It was.

02:09:31.000 Rape is not used to shut people up.

02:09:33.000 That's a crazy way to shut people up.

02:09:35.000 It's a power. 1.00

02:09:36.000 If you don't shut up, I'm going to rape you. 1.00

02:09:38.000 No, but I mean, it's psychologically been proved that it's not about being horny. 1.00

02:09:43.000 It's a crime.

02:09:44.000 It's a psychological crime.

02:09:45.000 That's a crazy comparison, and I don't buy that either.

02:09:48.000 It's about both.

02:09:49.000 If it was just about controlling someone, they would hold you down. 1.00

02:09:52.000 They'd fuck you because... 1.00

02:09:53.000 It's power and sexual at the same time. 1.00

02:09:55.000 People have some creepy thing when it comes to being physically overpowering a person and fucking them and having sex with them. 0.99

02:10:05.000 My whole thing is like, I'm a comic. 0.99

02:10:07.000 I've been heckled.

02:10:08.000 I know what it's like to be heckled.

02:10:09.000 I'm not a female.

02:10:10.000 I haven't been raped.

02:10:11.000 I don't know what it's like. 0.99

02:10:13.000 And if it comes down to a fucking dude who was not censored, who still has his number one show on Comedy Central, who still plays at the club, no one... 0.97

02:10:22.000 A lot of people wanted him censored. 0.99

02:10:23.000 A lot of people wanted him fired, they called for him to get fired.

02:10:26.000 I didn't at all.

02:10:27.000 Yeah, you didn't, but you did support this. 0.98

02:10:28.000 I didn't call a fucking station, because it's not my fucking job to support a comic just because I happen to be a comedian when I don't... 0.99

02:10:35.000 But you said he's contributing to rape culture. 0.99

02:10:37.000 I think that whole situation, 100%.

02:10:39.000 I think what we're doing, I think right now, making... 0.99

02:10:43.000 Putting the onus on women that they're uptight bitches. 1.00

02:10:46.000 Do you know what a slippery slope this is? 0.99

02:10:50.000 That you are literally condoning censorship?

02:10:53.000 I'm not.

02:10:53.000 You're saying that people's words can affect actions.

02:10:56.000 So you're saying someone completely joking around about rape can support rape. 0.99

02:11:01.000 It is ridiculous. 1.00

02:11:03.000 It is a ridiculous statement. 0.99

02:11:05.000 But that's not at all what I'm saying. 0.98

02:11:06.000 That's what you're saying.

02:11:07.000 That is what you're saying. 0.98

02:11:08.000 Listen, man, if you say that he's contributing to rape culture by saying that with his mouth, by joking around in a way that absolutely we all know he wasn't serious, five guys are just going to jump out and rape better. 0.95

02:11:20.000 Yeah, that would be funny. 0.86

02:11:21.000 That's not what he's saying.

02:11:23.000 He's making a joke.

02:11:24.000 And you're saying that contributes to rape culture. 0.98

02:11:26.000 So what you're saying is his words should be censored because they contribute to rape. 1.00

02:11:31.000 Bullshit. 1.00

02:11:32.000 You're saying they contribute to rape. 1.00

02:11:33.000 Bullshit. 1.00

02:11:34.000 Because I never said, take him off the air. 1.00

02:11:35.000 I never said, so he has to stop. 0.95

02:11:37.000 But you're still saying he contributes to rape. 0.93

02:11:39.000 No, I didn't say he contributed to rape. 0.99

02:11:40.000 To rape culture. 1.00

02:11:41.000 Right, because what fucking happened? 1.00

02:11:42.000 And what does that mean if he's not contributing to rape? 1.00

02:11:44.000 You go on fucking Twitter during those days and all of his fans started threatening girls with rape. 1.00

02:11:49.000 That's fucking rape culture. 1.00

02:11:51.000 Rape culture is women being in constant fucking fear. 1.00

02:11:54.000 Because dudes are fucking threatening them. 1.00

02:11:56.000 Because dudes are writing and saying, well, I see where you fucking live and I'm gonna rape you. 1.00

02:12:00.000 That is rape culture. 1.00

02:12:01.000 That's not a culture, dude. 1.00

02:12:02.000 That's idiots. 1.00

02:12:03.000 This idea that he is somehow or another contributing to that by even mentioning the word rape. 1.00

02:12:07.000 You can't stop someone from being a fucking idiot. 1.00

02:12:10.000 And by not saying a joke about a subject doesn't keep other morons from using that subject whenever they freely want. 1.00

02:12:18.000 It's just it comes up at any time they're allowed to have their reactions and start saying, oh, I'm going to fucking rape you, bitch. 1.00

02:12:25.000 That doesn't mean you should never talk about rape. 1.00

02:12:27.000 And so for you to say that in that moment he shouldn't bring it up because he's contributing to a bunch of fucking apes yelling rape at women on Twitter or Facebook or whatever, they're completely unrelated. 0.99

02:12:38.000 Completely unrelated. 1.00

02:12:39.000 Those dudes would not have done it if there wasn't so much fucking support. 0.99

02:12:42.000 No, those dudes would not have done it if there wasn't a fucking blog written by some one woman who all of a sudden everybody and you had to comment on. 1.00

02:12:49.000 And then it becomes a part of the national discourse. 1.00

02:12:51.000 It's the same shit where it's like it's her fucking fault. 1.00

02:12:54.000 It is. 1.00

02:12:55.000 Well, it's true.

02:12:56.000 It is her fault. 1.00

02:12:56.000 She should have shut her fucking mouth, one, and she should not run a dumb blog about it. 1.00

02:13:00.000 I don't know, man. 1.00

02:13:01.000 A diarrhea of the mouth blog about it where she didn't take any personal accountability for interrupting a show with a fucking rabid stand-up comedian in mid-stride in his fucking prime on stage in Hollywood on a Friday night or a Saturday night, whatever the fuck it was. 1.00

02:13:14.000 I don't know, dude. 0.99

02:13:15.000 What it is, okay?

02:13:16.000 She's interrupting the show.

02:13:17.000 You're caught in the crossfire.

02:13:18.000 You took a hit. 0.99

02:13:19.000 It wasn't real, dummy. 1.00

02:13:21.000 If he said he hopes a unicorn comes down and drowns you with his piss, is that real? 1.00

02:13:25.000 Come on. 0.94

02:13:25.000 We're not talking reality here. 0.94

02:13:27.000 We're talking jokes.

02:13:28.000 One in 12 girls has been drowned by a unicorn.

02:13:31.000 Unicorn piss. 0.99

02:13:32.000 Unicorn piss. 0.99

02:13:33.000 I'm sorry. 0.99

02:13:34.000 It's nonsense.

02:13:36.000 It's nonsense. 0.95

02:13:36.000 And how many of these people that unreported, like the one out of seven or whatever people, you know, didn't report it because they had orgasms? 0.95

02:13:43.000 There could be some kind of weird fucking number like that in there that just totally voids the whole number anyway. 0.95

02:13:49.000 Well, that might not be it. 0.98

02:13:52.000 I'm just going to let that hang. 1.00

02:13:55.000 Jamie, I think if anything makes people say stupid shit like I hope you get raped, it's when people stand up for someone who says something like rape should never be talked about. 1.00

02:14:08.000 Or like rape shouldn't have been discussed. 1.00

02:14:10.000 You keep saying I said that.

02:14:12.000 I didn't say you.

02:14:13.000 You're talking about a rape culture. 0.96

02:14:16.000 So whenever you step in and say I support this over rape culture... 1.00

02:14:21.000 There's a bunch of idiots who... 1.00

02:14:23.000 You're introducing yourself into the sea of humanity. 1.00

02:14:27.000 And you're shocked when some people bounce back at you.

02:14:30.000 You're shocked because that's what you're doing.

02:14:32.000 You're introducing your ideas.

02:14:33.000 You're acting like one of five comedians who said something that we're the reason that these girls started getting rape threats. 0.75

02:14:41.000 That's crazy.

02:14:42.000 That's not what I'm saying at all. 0.88

02:14:43.000 I'm saying that you said that Daniel Tosh contributes to rape culture.

02:14:46.000 That whole situation I thought did.

02:14:48.000 You know what did?

02:14:49.000 You entering the discourse. 1.00

02:14:51.000 That actually contributed to people who get annoyed at lefty vegans and they want to go, you fucking queer hope you get raped. 1.00

02:15:01.000 Those people were going to do that shit anyway. 1.00

02:15:04.000 Isn't that your rape culture though? 1.00

02:15:05.000 They weren't saying that to me. 1.00

02:15:07.000 They were saying that to fucking girls. 1.00

02:15:08.000 I'm sure they said it to you. 1.00

02:15:09.000 Check your timeline, son.

02:15:11.000 Well, now they are.

02:15:11.000 I'm sure they said it then.

02:15:13.000 I'm sure a certain amount of people who read what you said had some sort of a negative response to you.

02:15:19.000 There's no denying that.

02:15:21.000 Right?

02:15:22.000 Luckily, a lot of your people who are mad at me, I checked my Twitter, they're not putting a period before my name, so it's only going to me. 1.00

02:15:31.000 It's like, Jamie Kilstein, hey everyone, you're an idiot. 0.98

02:15:35.000 Oh, they have to put a period before you, otherwise it only goes, yeah. 1.00

02:15:38.000 I think they want to talk to you, dude.

02:15:40.000 Although this one's kind of funny. 0.99

02:15:41.000 Jamie Kilstein beat me up in a kickboxing match and then raped me, and then hashtag the rape culture. 0.98

02:15:44.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:15:46.000 But do you feel me on this, man? 0.99

02:15:48.000 I'm trying to put some sense into your head because you're being silly. 0.98

02:15:51.000 And you're opening yourself up to unwarranted and unnecessary criticism. 0.99

02:15:55.000 It can be avoided.

02:15:56.000 It can all be avoided by being a little bit harder on yourself, man.

02:16:01.000 And not introducing yourself into these things.

02:16:04.000 I mean...

02:16:05.000 And, so, I mean, your people already think...

02:16:09.000 This is not my people, man.

02:16:10.000 I'm not running a cult.

02:16:11.000 No, no, no.

02:16:11.000 I don't have...

02:16:12.000 We're by the town.

02:16:14.000 I don't know, man.

02:16:15.000 We should go to Portland, right?

02:16:17.000 I got way too many...

02:16:20.000 I'm thinking about starting a cult in Portland.

02:16:22.000 That's the place to do it.

02:16:23.000 You got way too many what?

02:16:24.000 I have way too many people who were raped who tweeted me and was like, I'm glad to see that I commented and think it was funny. 1.00

02:16:29.000 They'll be happy if you talk about fucking water sucking. 1.00

02:16:31.000 I don't know, man. 1.00

02:16:32.000 You talk about a certain amount of things as going to be a giant group of people that support you.

02:16:36.000 It doesn't mean that you're right.

02:16:39.000 We're going to disagree on this, right?

02:16:40.000 For sure, disagree on this. 0.99

02:16:42.000 Every fucking comedian in the world disagrees with you. 0.99

02:16:45.000 But I'm like, I don't care. 1.00

02:16:46.000 You know what that is, though.

02:16:48.000 As a comic, you understand what's going on.

02:16:51.000 It's not that comedy means much to you.

02:16:53.000 It's inhuman interaction, man. 0.99

02:16:55.000 It's when you're in a movie and some guy's on his fucking phone talking. 1.00

02:16:58.000 Shut up, bitch. 1.00

02:16:59.000 You're fucking up the show. 1.00

02:17:00.000 It's real simple. 0.98

02:17:02.000 What Tosh did is stop what was fucking up the show. 0.92

02:17:06.000 It had nothing to do with rape or contributing to rape culture. 1.00

02:17:09.000 But again, when something like what you just said happens, people don't galvanize around that.

02:17:14.000 They shouldn't! 0.99

02:17:15.000 They should galvanize around putting a picture of her and say, see this bitch? 1.00

02:17:18.000 She doesn't understand humor. 1.00

02:17:20.000 She can't take a joke.

02:17:21.000 So she'd be a photo of her with a red line across her face until you can come in and explain to us that you're sorry, that you didn't understand how he was joking around about how nothing can be funny about rape, and you just... 1.00

02:17:33.000 Blurted it out because you're a self-righteous dummy who thinks that you should be able to espouse your politically correct opinions at any fucking time they're warranted in your silly little fucking dumb mind, including hijacking a fucking comedy club, you're not capable of handling a comedy club. 0.99

02:17:50.000 You shouldn't be there. 1.00

02:17:51.000 Just like if your ears hurt when things are loud, you shouldn't go to a fucking rock club. 0.99

02:17:55.000 If you're scared of violence, you shouldn't sit front row at a UFC fight. 0.99

02:18:00.000 It's all the same.

02:18:01.000 It's not like we should nerf the world to make it safe for everybody. 0.97

02:18:04.000 If you don't enjoy someone talking about controversial shit, you certainly shouldn't go to an adult nightclub that's doing stand-up comedy. 0.96

02:18:11.000 Or a guy like Daniel fucking Tosh, who has one of the most edgy shows on TV, period, is doing his stand-up. 0.99

02:18:17.000 And he makes a joke because you heckle. 0.97

02:18:19.000 And that joke happens about what you heckled about.

02:18:21.000 You can't feel like you're a victim.

02:18:24.000 Because you're not a victim. 1.00

02:18:25.000 You're a dummy who doesn't belong in a comedy club. 1.00

02:18:28.000 Right. 1.00

02:18:28.000 Well, again, I'm not... 1.00

02:18:30.000 I want to see Guns N' Roses and my ears hurt. 1.00

02:18:34.000 You're stupid. 1.00

02:18:35.000 If your ears are sensitive, you don't stand next to the fucking speaker. 1.00

02:18:38.000 If you don't like watching dudes get their ass kicked, don't go to a UFC fight. 1.00

02:18:42.000 If you don't like black people, don't watch basketball. 1.00

02:18:45.000 It's really simple. 1.00

02:18:47.000 It's really simple.

02:18:48.000 And when you introduce yourself, if you introduce yourself into the equation like that woman did, you gotta take the hit! 0.84

02:18:55.000 You gotta take the hit! 0.99

02:18:57.000 But again, like, you thought it was, you know, and we were talking about how good it is when people stand up and protest these fucking politicians and stuff. 0.99

02:19:04.000 You disagree with this. 0.98

02:19:05.000 So of course you...

02:19:06.000 And again, I disagree with the heckling.

02:19:08.000 This isn't a stand-up comedy show.

02:19:10.000 This isn't someone dictating policy or changing the way people live their lives.

02:19:13.000 It's someone who's cracking jokes on stage trying to make people laugh. 1.00

02:19:16.000 It's someone who interrupts that process because they're dumb. 1.00

02:19:20.000 And I hate that. 1.00

02:19:21.000 You're crazy for supporting. 1.00

02:19:23.000 You're fucked up. 1.00

02:19:24.000 You should have wrote something a lot more detailed then. 1.00

02:19:26.000 You should explain yourself in great depth.

02:19:27.000 That is 140 characters on Twitter.

02:19:28.000 You should do it on Twitter.

02:19:29.000 You should link to a blog because this is something that can't be covered in this short attention span.

02:19:34.000 But then you get mad at people who write blogs. 0.99

02:19:34.000 No, I get mad at people who write dumb blogs. 0.99

02:19:36.000 I love well-written, honest blogs. 1.00

02:19:38.000 I get mad at dumb people who heckle and write a blog about how they're shocked. 0.98

02:19:44.000 That someone could joke around about that. 1.00

02:19:46.000 By the way, I heard the joke killed.

02:19:48.000 I heard most of the audience laughed really hard.

02:19:50.000 They thought it was hilarious.

02:19:51.000 Because...

02:19:52.000 You know why?

02:19:52.000 It was.

02:19:53.000 That's because.

02:19:54.000 Because it was.

02:19:54.000 Joe, check this out though.

02:19:56.000 Someone told me to play this.

02:19:58.000 Joy Reid.

02:19:59.000 Alright!

02:20:00.000 What is it?

02:20:01.000 Who here does rape jokes? 1.00

02:20:03.000 Well, I would say, backing up completely, I would like to argue the point that that wasn't even a joke.

02:20:10.000 He was making a statement.

02:20:11.000 So, you're at a comedy club, you're making a statement.

02:20:15.000 It's fair game for an audience member to go...

02:20:18.000 I disagree with your statement because there's been varying reports on this.

02:20:22.000 What happened?

02:20:23.000 That's Liz Winstead talking, by the way.

02:20:26.000 I have more about that later.

02:20:27.000 Especially when talking about it from a comics lens.

02:20:30.000 And he said that Daniel Tosh got on stage and said, what would you guys like to talk about?

02:20:35.000 Now that opens up a conversation with your audience.

02:20:38.000 And somebody yelled rape. 0.98

02:20:40.000 And I don't know if it was this woman or someone else said, no, rape jokes are never funny. 1.00

02:20:44.000 And then all of a sudden, boom, if that happened, then yeah, you ask the audience what they thought and people said something.

02:20:51.000 Okay, pause that, pause that right there.

02:20:53.000 Pause that right there.

02:20:54.000 Because first of all, she's not... 0.92

02:20:56.000 She's not telling the truth because she's omitting a very important part of why he said that to her and she's doing that to make her point make more sense.

02:21:05.000 She omitted the fact that he was saying, oh yeah, rape is real funny. 1.00

02:21:09.000 Like, what's funny about rape?

02:21:10.000 Is it the humiliation?

02:21:12.000 Is it the violence?

02:21:13.000 Stop.

02:21:13.000 That was the story of the time.

02:21:14.000 Ms. Winstead.

02:21:15.000 No, no, no.

02:21:16.000 Then don't talk.

02:21:17.000 Then don't talk about it if you don't know the full story.

02:21:20.000 So Liz Winstead interjected, or rather edited, the actual reality of the conversation and cut out the part where he was detailing what is not funny about rape to make it seem like what he did was more insensitive.

02:21:34.000 If she said, I guarantee you, if someone said rape and then, you know, he said, you know, a woman said actually rape was never funny, and he said, well, wouldn't it be funny if five guys raped her right now? 0.78

02:21:44.000 Guess what? 0.97

02:21:45.000 That's still funny.

02:21:46.000 You know why?

02:21:47.000 Because he's not being serious.

02:21:48.000 Okay? 0.99

02:21:49.000 If she's self-righteously yelling out, actually, rape is never funny, it's right for him again to say, wouldn't it be funny if she got raped by five people? 0.98

02:21:58.000 Okay? 0.98

02:21:58.000 He's joking. 0.98

02:21:59.000 He's not being fucking serious. 0.76

02:22:01.000 Just like when you see a guy in a movie and he's shooting at aliens, he's not really in an alien war. 0.91

02:22:06.000 Okay? 0.99

02:22:07.000 It's fucking entertainment. 0.99

02:22:08.000 And what she did by omitting that very particular part is make it more heinous, and yet I... I still agree with him. 0.99

02:22:17.000 And I disagree with her. 0.96

02:22:18.000 And her saying that it's not a joke is ridiculous.

02:22:22.000 And I have a Liz Winstead story from when I was an open-miker that I'd like to share with you.

02:22:26.000 This is where it gets really interesting.

02:22:28.000 When I was an open-miker, and I was not that good a comedian, I was fucking two or three times on stage, and Liz Winstead already had been on HBO, and she was hosting an open-mic night.

02:22:39.000 And I'm not trying to hold her to the fire for this, okay?

02:22:42.000 But this is something that happened.

02:22:43.000 It happened more than 20 years ago.

02:22:45.000 She's on stage.

02:22:46.000 She had her friend, Janine Duttulio, who was a very funny comic from Boston.

02:22:49.000 They're all palling around backstage, this whole girls club. 1.00

02:22:52.000 And they were having a great time.

02:22:54.000 And she said, she got on stage and she said, I'm hosting open mic night.

02:22:58.000 And when I'm here hosting open mic night, I've got rules.

02:23:02.000 Here's the rules, okay?

02:23:04.000 No jokes about this.

02:23:06.000 No jokes about that. 0.98

02:23:08.000 No jokes about tits. 1.00

02:23:09.000 No sexism. 0.83

02:23:11.000 She says no sexism. 0.92

02:23:13.000 She says no gay jokes. 0.74

02:23:15.000 She has a list she's reading. 0.84

02:23:17.000 And she decides that she's going to interrupt the stand-up comedians while they're on stage and stop them from performing their jokes. 0.88

02:23:26.000 And interrupt them because she decides that a joke is racist. 1.00

02:23:29.000 She decides that a joke is sexist.

02:23:30.000 So there's a door next to the stage.

02:23:32.000 So the comedians are on stage.

02:23:33.000 And she's getting on stage and interrupting individual performance. 0.99

02:23:38.000 Stop! 1.00

02:23:39.000 That's sexist.

02:23:41.000 So, he...

02:23:43.000 This guy... 1.00

02:23:45.000 Brian, I forget his fucking name. 0.99

02:23:47.000 He was a very funny guy. 1.00

02:23:49.000 But he was particularly shy.

02:23:52.000 And he was an open-miker, a career open-miker.

02:23:55.000 He was a guy that had been doing... 0.99

02:23:56.000 Are you checking your Twitter, bitch? 1.00

02:23:57.000 Pay attention. 1.00

02:23:58.000 Pay attention.

02:23:59.000 He was a guy who would struggle to keep it together on stage every time.

02:24:05.000 And he was a very gifted comic writer.

02:24:08.000 But a very uncomfortable performer.

02:24:10.000 He had a really hard time performing.

02:24:11.000 So he goes on stage, and he has this joke. 0.93

02:24:14.000 Where he says something about, I always make sure I open up the car door for my hooker. 0.98

02:24:25.000 And Liz Winstead interrupts. 0.92

02:24:27.000 Stop! 1.00

02:24:30.000 Sexism! 0.99

02:24:31.000 And he says, and don't think he doesn't appreciate it, which is his punchline.

02:24:36.000 Okay?

02:24:37.000 So she's standing on stage right after he says that, and she stopped him. 0.99

02:24:41.000 And he's so awkward, he's got his eyes closed during his fucking thing. 0.99

02:24:46.000 I mean, it's just so fucking annoying. 0.99

02:24:51.000 It's driving me crazy. 0.80

02:24:52.000 So, I get on stage.

02:24:54.000 And I'm in the middle of something, and she comes out and says, Sexism! 1.00

02:24:58.000 Stop! 1.00

02:24:59.000 And I said, Liz, don't you get enough fucking attention? 1.00

02:25:02.000 I go, you go on stage every night, you have this HBO special, you're a national headliner, and yet you can't let an open-miker have five minutes to try to say whatever the fuck they want to say. 0.99

02:25:13.000 You have to come on and interrupt. 0.96

02:25:14.000 And so she says to me...

02:25:17.000 You know, I know the people who own this club.

02:25:20.000 I'll just let you know right now.

02:25:21.000 This is 100% real.

02:25:23.000 And I said, that's it, really?

02:25:25.000 I go, that's what you're telling me? 1.00

02:25:26.000 You're a professional fucking comedian. 0.99

02:25:28.000 And I have a very good point about you needing attention and interrupting sets. 0.99

02:25:31.000 And you tell me that you know the people who book this club, insinuating that you can stop me from working here. 0.98

02:25:36.000 I go, fucking really? 0.98

02:25:38.000 I go, I'm done. 0.99

02:25:39.000 And so I walked off the stage.

02:25:41.000 I put the microphone down and I walked off the stage.

02:25:43.000 And I'll never forget that.

02:25:44.000 And so listening to that lady, just understand and judge that. 0.98

02:25:49.000 Because that's a true thing that happened to a...

02:25:51.000 Oh, of course it does.

02:25:52.000 But that's a true thing that happened to a open mic comic by a professional headliner comedian.

02:25:57.000 This is the point where sexism can bounce the other way. 0.98

02:26:01.000 And it becomes nonsense.

02:26:02.000 It becomes you enforcing your ideology on other people And you, it's not about being fair and right and running a just happy society where people are allowed creative differences. 0.99

02:26:12.000 No, it's about you enforcing your own ego and bullshit on other people. 0.89

02:26:16.000 Yeah, and I mean it was one of those things where like... 0.98

02:26:19.000 Let's listen to the rest of what she has to say.

02:26:23.000 And then the club owner issued a statement, and I find this very interesting, especially when talking about it from a comics lens, and he said that Daniel Tash got on stage and said, what would you guys like to talk about?

02:26:34.000 Now that opens up a conversation with your audience.

02:26:37.000 We already heard.

02:26:38.000 So it's not quite the same thing as being heckled.

02:26:41.000 Being heckled for a joke you told.

02:26:42.000 Where was the joke? 0.97

02:26:44.000 Wasn't it like the equivalent of if there was one black guy in the room and he had said, you know, wouldn't it be funny if everybody just lynched that guy right now? 0.76

02:26:50.000 Because it's not so much a joke as it is an attack on that person because he was obviously angry at that person. 0.72

02:26:56.000 Hold on.

02:26:56.000 Stop that.

02:26:57.000 You know how stupid that is? 1.00

02:26:58.000 Because that's ridiculous because it's not like she was the only woman in a room full of men. 1.00

02:27:02.000 That's so dumb. 1.00

02:27:03.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:27:04.000 People are so stupid with their analogies. 1.00

02:27:07.000 That would be the same if there was one black guy and everybody's like, let's go get him. 1.00

02:27:11.000 How the fuck is that the same? 1.00

02:27:13.000 How the fuck is that the same? 1.00

02:27:16.000 Why is everybody so goddamn crazy? 1.00

02:27:19.000 And why do so many people want to cry victim when they're just stupid? 1.00

02:27:25.000 This is not a victim issue. 1.00

02:27:26.000 This is a stupid person issue. 1.00

02:27:29.000 I mean, I think it comes down to she disagreed with him. 1.00

02:27:33.000 We disagree on how she handled it.

02:27:36.000 I disagree with you, you disagree with me, but it's like...

02:27:38.000 What do you disagree with me?

02:27:40.000 Oh, just about the whole rape thing.

02:27:42.000 The thing you've been yelling at me about for 45 minutes.

02:27:44.000 Disagree with what?

02:27:45.000 You've never disagreed.

02:27:46.000 Well, the fact that I'm not...

02:27:47.000 You honestly never have, because I've told you that I don't think that he contributes to raping people, and you're saying that you didn't say that.

02:27:54.000 I do not think he contributes to raping people. 0.99

02:27:56.000 But you're saying that he contributes to rape culture, and I'm saying, what the fuck is that then? 0.99

02:28:00.000 Well, and that's what I was telling you. 0.99

02:28:01.000 It's the fact that we live in a culture where women who have been raped aren't allowed to, the way we're saying it, go to comedy clubs because they might get offended. 0.99

02:28:10.000 And I'm saying that I think that that sort of sucks for them considering they were fucking raped and now they have to watch where they go. 0.96

02:28:18.000 You're going to have to take away every single thing that people have been victimized from and take it out of the vocabulary and the vernacular of comedy then. 0.99

02:28:25.000 Because then everything, like I've been beat up before.

02:28:28.000 Have you been beat up?

02:28:29.000 I've been robbed with a gun. 1.00

02:28:30.000 That's way worse than getting raped. 0.99

02:28:32.000 Yeah, John Bryan's been robbed with a gun and he was fucking freaking out every time he was in a parking lot for months afterwards. 0.99

02:28:37.000 And I know that's true. 0.91

02:28:38.000 But you know what? 1.00

02:28:39.000 He can still go to a comedy club and know about the time where he almost lost his life with a gun in his fucking face. 0.99

02:28:43.000 And if someone jokes about robbery, he should be able to laugh at that. 1.00

02:28:47.000 I would take rape over getting that happen to me again.

02:28:50.000 Unless someone... 0.98

02:28:51.000 Yeah, well...

02:28:51.000 I would.

02:28:52.000 I would get raped before getting robbed by a gun again. 1.00

02:28:55.000 Would you really? 1.00

02:28:55.000 Yes. 1.00

02:28:55.000 You say that, but I don't... 1.00

02:28:56.000 Dude, there's nothing scary.

02:28:57.000 I see what your point is.

02:28:59.000 I see your point is, like, someone just wants to have sex, they're not going to kill you.

02:29:01.000 Right.

02:29:01.000 Yeah, you're right.

02:29:02.000 You're right.

02:29:03.000 Murder's worse than rape. 0.59

02:29:04.000 Yeah, you're right.

02:29:05.000 Yes, absolutely. 0.99

02:29:05.000 You know, if your loved ones, you know, got raped, you'd feel horrible. 0.99

02:29:08.000 If they got murdered, you'd feel worse. 1.00

02:29:09.000 You're right.

02:29:09.000 But I don't know.

02:29:10.000 It's terrible.

02:29:11.000 Either way. 0.99

02:29:11.000 You get murdered, you're out. 0.99

02:29:12.000 You're done. 1.00

02:29:13.000 You get raped. 0.99

02:29:13.000 It's terrible, but you still can have loved ones and still have good experiences. 0.99

02:29:17.000 And yeah, you're going to have bad memories.

02:29:18.000 Yeah, but it's not about us. 0.92

02:29:19.000 It's not about us and like, oh, you know, our wife was murdered or our wife was raped.

02:29:23.000 It's about like the victim of the crime. 1.00

02:29:25.000 And like with rape, you have to live with that shit forever. 1.00

02:29:28.000 I mean, that is such a violent fucking act that, you know, people use that. 1.00

02:29:32.000 You saying that rape is worse than murder is so fucking crazy because rape is horrible for the person that gets raped. 1.00

02:29:39.000 Murder is horrible for the person who dies and everyone who loves them too who will never see them again because they don't exist because someone stopped their fucking life. 1.00

02:29:46.000 That's worse. 0.99

02:29:47.000 They're both terrible, but to say that one, rape is worse because you remember it is crazy because there's therapy.

02:29:54.000 People get on ecstasy.

02:29:55.000 They do MDMA and have these post-traumatic stress symptoms.

02:29:58.000 Disorder clinics where they work with people with psychedelic drugs and help them recover from things by having spiritual experiences.

02:30:05.000 You can recover from rape.

02:30:07.000 It's a terrible, terrible thing.

02:30:08.000 I am not condoning it or endorsing it in any way, shape, or form, but I think murder is worse.

02:30:12.000 And Brian almost got murdered.

02:30:14.000 And my girlfriend.

02:30:15.000 Not every 16-year-old who was raped has access to psychedelics.

02:30:18.000 Yeah, right.

02:30:19.000 You're right.

02:30:20.000 Look, I'm not saying that rape is good.

02:30:22.000 It's terrible.

02:30:23.000 It's a terrible thing.

02:30:24.000 But murder's worse, man.

02:30:26.000 And you could joke about murder all day.

02:30:28.000 You could joke about murdering people all day.

02:30:30.000 And no one in the audience who's lost a friend to murder should be allowed to step in and go, I've lost a friend to murder! 0.74

02:30:35.000 Stop it with your murder jokes!

02:30:37.000 Right.

02:30:38.000 Yeah, but I don't know if you would, again, lash out and attack that person as much. 0.99

02:30:41.000 If that person was fucking... 0.99

02:30:43.000 You would if they heckled. 1.00

02:30:44.000 You would if you were telling a joke about murder.

02:30:46.000 Someone said, talk about murder!

02:30:47.000 And you go, nothing's funny about murder.

02:30:49.000 Oh, what's funny about murder?

02:30:51.000 The bullet killing someone?

02:30:52.000 An arrow?

02:30:53.000 A machete?

02:30:54.000 And someone goes, actually, murder's never funny!

02:30:56.000 And you go, wouldn't it be funny if somebody just murdered him? 0.99

02:30:59.000 But again, man, there's not this fucking history. 0.99

02:31:02.000 Where would you stand on that? 0.99

02:31:03.000 If somebody wrote a blog and the blog was written by a fat man, a dumb man that you don't want his love and he believes in the Confederate flag, and what if he wrote a blog about that? 0.98

02:31:11.000 Would you stand up for him? 1.00

02:31:12.000 Because it's the same fucking issue. 0.99

02:31:14.000 It's not the same issue. 1.00

02:31:14.000 It is the same issue. 1.00

02:31:15.000 It certainly is. 0.99

02:31:16.000 Because murder is getting fucking reported. 0.99

02:31:18.000 There's not a stigma about murder. 0.99

02:31:21.000 The murder...

02:31:22.000 Murder's worse. 1.00

02:31:23.000 The family of the person who's murdered doesn't have to defend the fucking victim. 1.00

02:31:28.000 The victim isn't fucking put on trial. 1.00

02:31:30.000 Sometimes they are, obviously. 0.98

02:31:31.000 Well, listen, man.

02:31:32.000 You are creating a lot of straw men here.

02:31:34.000 This is not...

02:31:35.000 Murder is worse, and you're saying that if a situation happened and it was a murder joke, that that would be okay.

02:31:41.000 That's what you're saying.

02:31:42.000 And I say that's crazy.

02:31:43.000 Here's what I'm saying, because I think we're talking insert No, because we're talking about comedy, man.

02:31:47.000 We're not talking about reality.

02:31:48.000 That's my point.

02:31:49.000 You know that if someone says, wouldn't it be funny if somebody just murdered him? 0.99

02:31:52.000 You know that that's worse than saying, wouldn't it be funny if someone just raped him? 0.99

02:31:56.000 That's not worse. 0.98

02:31:56.000 It is worse. 0.98

02:31:57.000 Murder's worse.

02:31:59.000 Way worse than rape.

02:32:00.000 Murder is worse than rape, man.

02:32:02.000 I don't think we can have this conversation, man. 1.00

02:32:03.000 You're crazy. 1.00

02:32:04.000 You'd rather be murdered than raped? 1.00

02:32:06.000 What's that? 1.00

02:32:06.000 You would rather be murdered than raped. 1.00

02:32:08.000 Than raped? 1.00

02:32:09.000 Yes! 1.00

02:32:09.000 You would rather be murdered than raped. 1.00

02:32:10.000 I would rather... 1.00

02:32:12.000 If someone is gonna have to live with rape... 1.00

02:32:14.000 You! 0.99

02:32:15.000 None of us will have to understand. 0.53

02:32:16.000 You're saying murder's worse than rape. 1.00

02:32:17.000 None of us understand what these fucking girls are going on. 1.00

02:32:19.000 I'm not talking about that, man. 1.00

02:32:21.000 I'm talking about is murder worse than rape.

02:32:23.000 I say it is.

02:32:24.000 For me?

02:32:25.000 Yes.

02:32:25.000 Yeah, of course.

02:32:26.000 I would rather get... 1.00

02:32:27.000 And for every other fucking human being that's ever lived, murder's worse than rape. 1.00

02:32:30.000 Because we don't fucking know what they're going through. 1.00

02:32:32.000 We don't. 1.00

02:32:33.000 Jamie, you're talking nonsense.

02:32:34.000 You keep bringing up feelings. 1.00

02:32:35.000 You keep going to weird shit and victimization. 0.98

02:32:38.000 The first hour of the show was all about how we have to have more empathy for each other. 1.00

02:32:42.000 But we're screaming about how fucking rape victims just need to take a psychedelic drug and not go to a fucking comedy club. 1.00

02:32:48.000 We're comparing murder to rape. 1.00

02:32:50.000 That's what we're doing.

02:32:51.000 We're not doing all these other things you're trying to introduce into the conversation.

02:32:54.000 We're not doing that.

02:32:54.000 We're comparing murder to rape.

02:32:56.000 And we're saying that murder is worse than rape. 0.97

02:32:58.000 You kill people, they cease to exist, they die. 0.98

02:33:01.000 If someone has sex with you against your will, it's a horrible, horrible thing that should hurt you. 0.99

02:33:05.000 It's going to be a bad thing, but it's not as bad as murder, period.

02:33:09.000 But the reason that it's more stigmatized, the reason that more people...

02:33:12.000 It's not stigmatized more than murder, man. 1.00

02:33:14.000 If you found out that a guy raped someone, you go, oh, what an asshole. 1.00

02:33:17.000 If you found out that a guy murdered someone, that's a different fucking feeling. 1.00

02:33:21.000 See, that's where I disagree. 0.99

02:33:21.000 I want the guy who murdered people killed immediately, removed from society. 0.99

02:33:27.000 I want the guy who raped someone. 1.00

02:33:29.000 I want to find out what the fuck went wrong that he dehumanized people to the point where his sexual needs or power needs or whatever the fuck like that supersedes his need to complement his... 1.00

02:33:39.000 Fellow humans, to be a part of humanity and culture. 0.99

02:33:42.000 What went wrong with this guy? 0.99

02:33:44.000 I want to find out if he was raped by his parents. 0.96

02:33:46.000 We can learn something about that guy. 0.98

02:33:48.000 But we can't with murder.

02:33:49.000 I think a lot of times with murder, it's just people have access to things and they have impulses and they do terrible things.

02:33:54.000 I mean, there's a lot of different reasons for murder.

02:33:56.000 There's a million different reasons for murder.

02:33:58.000 There's only a couple different reasons for rape. 0.89

02:34:00.000 It's not nearly as complicated.

02:34:02.000 There's all sorts of reasons why people want people dead.

02:34:04.000 There's not reasons why people want to rape people.

02:34:06.000 There's only a couple.

02:34:08.000 It's either you want some sex or you want to control someone and be violent with them. 1.00

02:34:11.000 It's not like this fucking bitch looked at my bike funny. 1.00

02:34:13.000 I got a raper. 1.00

02:34:14.000 You know, people kill people because they wear the wrong clothes.

02:34:18.000 You know, you can wear blue in a red neighborhood and they kill you. 0.98

02:34:21.000 There's a lot more differences why people murder you than rape you. 0.87

02:34:25.000 So it's an unfair comparison. 0.82

02:34:26.000 But murder's worse.

02:34:29.000 Yeah, you can't understand what it's like for someone to have been victimized by that crime.

02:34:33.000 You also can't understand what it's worth for a mother to lose her son to violence.

02:34:37.000 Because that could be just as bad.

02:34:38.000 Or worse.

02:34:39.000 And I think talking to these hypotheticals is like...

02:34:42.000 Yeah, but that's what you keep doing.

02:34:43.000 You keep bringing up hypothetical justifications.

02:34:45.000 And I'm saying that you can't do that, man.

02:34:47.000 And I'm saying you know that they're both just jokes. 0.98

02:34:49.000 That a guy joking around about, wouldn't it be funny if that guy got murdered, is the same as someone saying, wouldn't it be funny if that guy got raped? 0.95

02:34:55.000 He doesn't really mean that. 0.84

02:34:57.000 He's making a joke to move a comedy show along.

02:35:00.000 So we're all introducing it. 1.00

02:35:01.000 And Liz Winstead, fucking hypocrite bullshit, to her to say on stage that it's not even a joke. 1.00

02:35:08.000 Of course it's a joke. 1.00

02:35:09.000 It's a direct joke.

02:35:11.000 Here's the joke.

02:35:11.000 Ready?

02:35:12.000 Set up.

02:35:13.000 Actually, rape is never funny. 1.00

02:35:15.000 Punchline, wouldn't it be funny if she just got raped by five guys? 1.00

02:35:18.000 That's it. 1.00

02:35:19.000 That's a joke. 0.94

02:35:20.000 To say that that's not a joke is silly. 0.94

02:35:22.000 It's not saying we're endorsing rape.

02:35:24.000 It's not saying people should be allowed to say horrible things to people. 0.90

02:35:30.000 It's you're not dealing with the context of the situation where someone was reacting to someone saying something dumb. 0.99

02:35:38.000 I might rape that bathroom in a bit. 1.00

02:35:39.000 Are you gonna? 1.00

02:35:40.000 Yeah.

02:35:40.000 Can I pee first?

02:35:41.000 Sure.

02:35:42.000 Do you have to go?

02:35:43.000 Do I have to pee?

02:35:44.000 Yeah, well, I was supposed to go like half an hour ago.

02:35:46.000 Listen, man, I didn't want to hold you to the coals like this, but this is a very controversial subject.

02:35:52.000 We legitimately disagree.

02:35:54.000 I don't think you are pro-rape. 0.97

02:35:57.000 I fucking still hope you don't think I'm pro-censorship. 0.99

02:36:00.000 You are. 0.98

02:36:01.000 If you think you shouldn't have done that, then you think that it could not have been funny even though everybody laughed. 0.92

02:36:06.000 Yeah, but I mean, that's like, everybody's sense of humor is fucking subjective.

02:36:11.000 Like, you don't think everything a comedian does is funny.

02:36:13.000 Right, so for those people, that was a great moment and it was funny.

02:36:15.000 So why do you think that didn't happen with, when Cook the next week or two weeks later or whatever?

02:36:21.000 Totally different subject.

02:36:22.000 Again, because murder is worse than rape.

02:36:24.000 There you go.

02:36:27.000 No one really defended that.

02:36:28.000 Nobody defended Cook because it wasn't a good joke.

02:36:31.000 He was joking around about murder, and it wasn't a good joke, so nobody defended him.

02:36:36.000 That's why everybody defended Tosh. 1.00

02:36:38.000 Because murder's worse than rape, you son of a bitch. 1.00

02:36:41.000 I think people got mad at... 1.00

02:36:42.000 I know I got mad at Dane Cook because the joke was...

02:36:44.000 That the movie was so bad, he was thinking that, what was it?

02:36:48.000 Meanwhile, I heard the movie's awesome. 0.97

02:36:49.000 It's fucking incredible. 0.97

02:36:49.000 I got more mad at that than the murder thing. 0.97

02:36:52.000 Well, I know Dane.

02:36:54.000 Dane is the type of dude who'll say things to try to be funny.

02:36:57.000 He's trying to be edgy.

02:36:58.000 He's trying to crack a good joke.

02:37:00.000 He thought, this is a crazy thing to do.

02:37:01.000 Do it a week later.

02:37:02.000 Should I? Fuck it. 1.00

02:37:03.000 Let's do it. 1.00

02:37:04.000 He doesn't mean it either.

02:37:06.000 And then I'm so late.

02:37:08.000 But this went well.

02:37:11.000 I don't think anyone should be censored.

02:37:13.000 I don't like hecklers.

02:37:16.000 I don't like rape.

02:37:18.000 I don't like violence either.

02:37:20.000 I don't like murder.

02:37:21.000 I don't like anything cunty. 0.99

02:37:22.000 But that also means when someone who is a non-rapist and non-violent like Daniel Tosh is at a comedy club and he makes a joke about rape, he shouldn't be fucking chastised by these dummies on the air. 0.99

02:37:33.000 This nonsense that you're hearing from Liz Winstead, it's just so silly. 0.99

02:37:38.000 It's silly. 1.00

02:37:39.000 You shouldn't rape people. 1.00

02:37:40.000 Abso-fucking-lutely. 1.00

02:37:41.000 You also should shut your fucking mouth at a comedy club. 1.00

02:37:44.000 Can we add on that? 1.00

02:37:45.000 If you don't want to get blowback.

02:37:47.000 Can we agree that we're all anti-rape?

02:37:49.000 We're all anti-rape.

02:37:52.000 Unless I pay money for it.

02:37:53.000 But I do go back to what you said before where it's just like, I don't know, as tedious as it may be or whatever, I would much rather...

02:38:02.000 I just, I don't know.

02:38:03.000 I think, like, me personally, like, when I write, like, I do think about it.

02:38:08.000 I'm like, am I going after the right person?

02:38:10.000 Do you know what I mean?

02:38:11.000 And that was an ad lib thing.

02:38:12.000 Like, I'm taking it out of the Tosh scenario.

02:38:13.000 Well, it's really simple, man.

02:38:15.000 What you could have really said was, rape, I mean, this is what I said when I would, I would say you should think what I think, but what I, my point of view was that, yeah, rape isn't funny, but that was funny because he didn't rape anybody.

02:38:27.000 It's not a rape.

02:38:28.000 It's a word. 0.99

02:38:28.000 Words came out of his mouth describing a ridiculous fictional scenario. 0.99

02:38:32.000 I mean, would it be worse if he said, wouldn't it be funny if gargoyles came down and ate her asshole and killed her? 1.00

02:38:38.000 Yeah, that would be worse. 1.00

02:38:40.000 I'm liking your dolphin piss gargoyle jokes.

02:38:42.000 You're not giving yourself credit.

02:38:43.000 They're very funny.

02:38:44.000 Thank you.

02:38:45.000 Drowning by dolphin piss is one of the worst ways to go.

02:38:48.000 That is true.

02:38:48.000 Unicorn Pist is even worse.

02:38:50.000 That's worse than rape. 1.00

02:38:51.000 Look, what I'm saying is that this is comedy and it's not real. 0.99

02:38:56.000 And what a guy's doing when he's doing what Tosh did is asking the audience, he's coming up with new material and he's fucking around.

02:39:02.000 Right, but what I'm saying is like, we all have comics we don't like.

02:39:05.000 Me and you agree on it.

02:39:06.000 You don't like Tosh?

02:39:07.000 The joke was funny.

02:39:07.000 I actually don't know much of his stuff.

02:39:09.000 He's a good dude.

02:39:10.000 Let me tell you something.

02:39:10.000 I hope he's a good comic.

02:39:10.000 He's a good dude.

02:39:11.000 He's always friendly.

02:39:12.000 Every time I met him, he's been real friendly to me.

02:39:14.000 I only talked to Tosh a few times.

02:39:16.000 I did his show once.

02:39:17.000 Hey Brian, have you?

02:39:18.000 We did a thing with Manny Pacquiao, who was also a great guy.

02:39:22.000 Manny Pacquiao is one of the nicest guys of all time.

02:39:24.000 You meet him, you would never believe he's a stone cold killer.

02:39:26.000 He's so friendly and generous and nice to people.

02:39:29.000 He's a tiny dude too, right?

02:39:29.000 Very small guy, yeah.

02:39:31.000 And Daniel Tosh is very tall, too.

02:39:32.000 But Daniel Tosh is a really nice guy, man.

02:39:34.000 And he's not a hurtful person.

02:39:35.000 He's just trying to make some people laugh and do his gig.

02:39:37.000 And he does it really well. 0.89

02:39:40.000 And hear this from these silly people like Liz Winstead saying, first of all, it wasn't a joke. 0.68

02:39:44.000 I'm glad I told that story about open mic days. 0.70

02:39:47.000 Because I never told that story before.

02:39:49.000 And maybe she doesn't remember it.

02:39:50.000 Maybe she'll say it's not true. 0.99

02:39:52.000 It's fucking true. 1.00

02:39:53.000 I remember that shit. 1.00

02:39:54.000 I remember I had this girlfriend that I was dating at the time. 1.00

02:39:56.000 Her name was Stephanie.

02:39:57.000 She was older than me.

02:39:58.000 One of the first times I ever dated a chick who used to tell me what to do. 1.00

02:40:00.000 But she liked to fuck, so it was fun. 1.00

02:40:02.000 She was cool. 0.99

02:40:03.000 She was a nice person, but she was older than me and just like telling me what to do.

02:40:08.000 And then after I got off stage, I walked off the stage and she said, you can't do that. 0.71

02:40:11.000 She said, if you want to be a comedian, you have to be a comedian.

02:40:13.000 You can't just quit in the middle of doing comedy. 1.00

02:40:15.000 I was like, damn, bitch, you feisty. 1.00

02:40:17.000 She's telling me what to do. 1.00

02:40:18.000 But I'll never forget that, man, because I remember thinking, I don't want to deal with these kind of people. 0.99

02:40:22.000 I mean, it's nonsense if someone would actually fucking do that. 0.95

02:40:26.000 Brian Coyne, that was the guy's name. 0.94

02:40:28.000 But I don't want to deal with censorship either, and it's like, I mean, the thing is, it's like, me and you have debated before, and it's not.

02:40:32.000 It's not.

02:40:34.000 You're telling me that I can't have...

02:40:35.000 You're saying he shouldn't have said something like that.

02:40:36.000 No, I'm saying I would have.

02:40:38.000 So he should have said something like that?

02:40:40.000 By saying that it contributes to rape culture, though, you are saying it should be censored. 0.97

02:40:45.000 I found that shitty, just like you found my opinion shitty. 0.98

02:40:48.000 I didn't find your opinion shitty. 0.85

02:40:50.000 I found your opinion to be a little self-involved, and I felt like there's a certain thing that some people do When they get on Twitter where they say things because they know that they're going to get a bunch of people agreeing with them.

02:41:03.000 And they're not necessarily making sense.

02:41:04.000 Really? 0.97

02:41:05.000 Because that fucking worked out for me. 0.99

02:41:06.000 You think that was my goal? 1.00

02:41:07.000 Lefties.

02:41:08.000 Lefties.

02:41:08.000 You're people for sure, dude.

02:41:10.000 Not the people I fucking see on a daily basis. 0.99

02:41:12.000 I see comics on a daily basis. 0.99

02:41:13.000 You write things fellow liberals.

02:41:14.000 You write things on Twitter fellow liberals.

02:41:16.000 I know who you're communicating with.

02:41:18.000 You're communicating with people who already love you. 0.98

02:41:21.000 When you're saying things that you want people who already love you and you know how they feel about things like that, when you start saying shit like it's supporting rape culture, you know who you're talking to. 0.97

02:41:30.000 I'm shitty at business, but if you thought that I thought this was going to work out, this was going to be a lot of fucking fun to deal with on Joe's podcast, I know who follows me on Twitter. 0.96

02:41:39.000 I know who's more vocal. 0.96

02:41:41.000 I knew that I was going to get... 1.00

02:41:43.000 Shit for this. 0.99

02:41:43.000 I wasn't, like, ecstatic about it, but that doesn't mean that the only reason I'm not going to defend something that I believe in is because I don't want to piss off my friends. 0.99

02:41:50.000 That's not what I'm saying.

02:41:51.000 I didn't say that at all.

02:41:52.000 What I said was it seemed like you were preaching to the choir in a way that you thought they wanted you to hear.

02:41:58.000 No, I never thought that was anything about it.

02:42:00.000 Dude, thousands of people...

02:42:01.000 You just knew we're ready for a fight.

02:42:02.000 And you said, like, I have to stand my ground. 0.99

02:42:04.000 It was how I fucking felt. 1.00

02:42:05.000 Just like everybody will tweet their fucking opinions on how they feel. 1.00

02:42:08.000 Just like you'll tweet your opinions on the want drugs, on the military industrial complex, whatever. 0.99

02:42:13.000 It's you tweeting your opinions.

02:42:14.000 That was me tweeting my opinions.

02:42:15.000 This opinion we disagreed with.

02:42:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:42:18.000 Same shit. 1.00

02:42:20.000 It's not just an opinion. 1.00

02:42:21.000 It's a stance.

02:42:22.000 But that's what...

02:42:23.000 Me and your job, the reason people follow us is to hear our opinions on things.

02:42:30.000 You know what I mean?

02:42:30.000 If we didn't want people to know that stuff, neither of us would be on Twitter.

02:42:34.000 Neither of us would be fucking comedians, right? 0.96

02:42:36.000 You just happen to disagree with this one. 0.99

02:42:38.000 That's it.

02:42:38.000 Well, it's not just that I disagree with it.

02:42:40.000 It's that every single comedian that I've Talk to about it disagrees with it.

02:42:44.000 Sure.

02:42:45.000 He disagrees with it vehemently and believes that you have done something...

02:42:48.000 So clearly I did not take the popular stance.

02:42:49.000 It's not just that you didn't take the popular stance.

02:42:52.000 You didn't take the stance that comes from the people that do the job and know how difficult it is to do an ad-lib scenario like what Tosh was doing.

02:43:01.000 And to have someone non-ironically shout out, actually, rape is never funny, while he was talking about how rape isn't funny.

02:43:07.000 But again, now we're getting back to defending the heckler. 0.99

02:43:09.000 I'm not defending the fucking heckler. 0.99

02:43:10.000 But you are. 1.00

02:43:11.000 I don't know.

02:43:11.000 By saying that what he's done is bad, you're saying that what she did was not as bad.

02:43:17.000 And what he did only existed because she did something.

02:43:21.000 Right.

02:43:22.000 Holla.

02:43:23.000 But again, like, when the dude threatened me, like, that didn't become a big thing.

02:43:28.000 What dude threatened you?

02:43:28.000 On Twitter.

02:43:29.000 Who threatened you?

02:43:30.000 No, no, no, the war guy.

02:43:31.000 You know what I mean?

02:43:31.000 With that heckler.

02:43:32.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

02:43:33.000 Like, that didn't become a, like, fuck that guy. 1.00

02:43:36.000 The guy who said he was, if I kept talking, he was going to beat the shit out of me. 1.00

02:43:39.000 Oh. 0.99

02:43:39.000 Cap City. 0.99

02:43:40.000 Oh, okay.

02:43:40.000 Where it's like...

02:43:41.000 Yeah, that's in Austin. 1.00

02:43:42.000 You can't fuck around in Austin, son. 1.00

02:43:43.000 Like, that sucks. 1.00

02:43:45.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

02:43:46.000 Like, again, I had to deal with a worse version of a heckler.

02:43:49.000 Yeah, that's worse than what you did.

02:43:50.000 But it's still not... 1.00

02:43:51.000 It's still stupid. 0.99

02:43:52.000 But I mean, we're going to disagree on this forever. 0.99

02:43:55.000 Listen, man.

02:43:55.000 I think, ultimately, though, we agree that it's about being a good person.

02:44:00.000 And what you think is that talking and joking around about violent acts...

02:44:05.000 This is not a part of being a good person.

02:44:08.000 About the victim of it.

02:44:09.000 I see your point. 0.98

02:44:11.000 Not the word, not the fucking culture, not the rape scenarios or whatever about like specifically like the punchline is the person who's raped. 0.99

02:44:18.000 I think that's fucking lazy. 0.99

02:44:19.000 I think it's lazy comedy just like racial stereotypes. 1.00

02:44:22.000 I think it's fucking lazy. 0.98

02:44:22.000 I think people can be funnier and more creative than that. 0.98

02:44:25.000 Yes.

02:44:25.000 I totally see that.

02:44:27.000 I don't think it's lazy.

02:44:28.000 I think it was the perfect thing to say in that scenario.

02:44:30.000 If it's been reported exactly the way I described, if that's really what happened.

02:44:36.000 Yeah, I don't...

02:44:36.000 You know what?

02:44:37.000 He's just joking.

02:44:38.000 And everyone pretending that this is some sort of a real national debate.

02:44:41.000 Look, the reality is we should be nice to each other for sure.

02:44:46.000 But the also reality is... 1.00

02:44:47.000 You should yell out stupid shit at a comedy club. 1.00

02:44:49.000 And here's another reality. 1.00

02:44:51.000 There's a lot of dumb people that don't know they're dumb. 1.00

02:44:52.000 And that's part of being dumb. 1.00

02:44:54.000 And you have this fucking wild ass stupid opinion you think the whole world should hear, and you want to stand up and yell it. 1.00

02:45:00.000 I mean, I had it a couple weeks ago in Calgary. 1.00

02:45:02.000 Some dumb guy just stood up and started yelling something in the middle of the show. 0.99

02:45:05.000 And we have to wait while he gets kicked out. 1.00

02:45:07.000 And he's like yelling and laughing.

02:45:08.000 Then he got kicked out and everyone's booing at him.

02:45:11.000 It's a part of life.

02:45:12.000 You're going to have to deal with that sort of a thing. 0.99

02:45:14.000 But when you're a stand-up comic, you know what the fuck he's doing. 0.98

02:45:17.000 You know what he's going through. 0.99

02:45:19.000 He's not supporting rape.

02:45:20.000 And he's certainly not supporting...

02:45:21.000 Rape culture, which supports rape? 0.85

02:45:23.000 He's not. 0.54

02:45:23.000 He's telling a joke. 0.54

02:45:24.000 He's doing a joke. 0.91

02:45:25.000 Just as if he would be doing a joke about murdering somebody.

02:45:28.000 I just think, you gotta pick a team, son.

02:45:30.000 We're on team stand-up.

02:45:31.000 Alright? 0.99

02:45:32.000 God damn it. 0.99

02:45:33.000 Listen, this Friday we've got a killer show here at the Ice House, ladies and gentlemen. 0.99

02:45:36.000 It's getting deeper as we speak.

02:45:38.000 Greg Fitzsimmons, Joey Diaz, Dom Irera, Brian Redband, and me.

02:45:44.000 That's of now. 0.99

02:45:45.000 And Brian and I are going to talk after the show and maybe add some more motherfuckers. 0.99

02:45:48.000 I have a secret. 0.99

02:45:49.000 What's a secret?

02:45:49.000 It's somebody that will be really good if he tells me yes.

02:45:53.000 He's going to tell me yes or no, and it's Jeffrey Ross.

02:45:56.000 Oh, Jeff Ross would be awesome.

02:45:58.000 His new show starts tonight, by the way.

02:45:59.000 Don't sit in the front row if it's Jeff Ross.

02:46:01.000 Yeah, Jess, new roasting show on Comedy Central.

02:46:05.000 Thank you, Jamie.

02:46:07.000 Listen, man, you know I love you.

02:46:09.000 Even though we disagree, I think you're a great guy.

02:46:12.000 We can all have our differences of opinions on things.

02:46:16.000 I know I got a little aggressive with you here and held you to the fire, but in no way is it that I disrespect you or don't like you or like hanging out with you or talking to you.

02:46:25.000 It's a tricky situation and it's a very passionate one to me. 0.84

02:46:29.000 Of course, rape is terrible, folks. 1.00

02:46:30.000 Any bad... 0.99

02:46:31.000 Cunty behavior is terrible. 0.95

02:46:33.000 You guys don't rip anything. 1.00

02:46:34.000 What Liz Winstead did when I was an open-miker was fucking terrible. 0.98

02:46:39.000 Brian Coyne, I got your back, son. 0.99

02:46:42.000 20-plus years later, holla at your boy if you're still alive.

02:46:46.000 Wow, that got dark. 0.96

02:46:48.000 Folks, tomorrow night, or tomorrow day, Andrew motherfucking Dice Clay, Thursday, Everlast, what? 0.97

02:46:56.000 Shit's getting crazy here at the Ice House, and of course, Friday night, we will have the Ice House Chronicles, which, just listen to the lineup we just said, Greg Fitzsimmons, Dom Irera, Joey Diaz, Brian Redband. 0.96

02:47:10.000 Tony Hinchcliffe. 0.98

02:47:11.000 Tony Hinchcliffe, who's hilarious.

02:47:13.000 A hilarious young comic who does a lot of the hosting that we have at the Ice House. 0.98

02:47:17.000 And he's fucking great, man. 0.92

02:47:18.000 I watched him again last week. 1.00

02:47:20.000 He's great at working the crowd.

02:47:21.000 He's great at ad-libbing.

02:47:22.000 Thanks to Onnit.com for supporting our show.

02:47:24.000 Thanks to Alienware for hooking us up with some sweet products. 0.99

02:47:28.000 This laptop is the shit. 0.99

02:47:29.000 And if you're into gaming, it's perfect for you. 1.00

02:47:31.000 Follow Alienware MMA on Twitter.

02:47:33.000 Follow Redband on Twitter.

02:47:35.000 Follow Jamie Kilstein on Twitter.

02:47:36.000 And be nice.

02:47:37.000 Come on, folks.

02:47:38.000 We can agree.

02:47:39.000 To disagree.

02:47:40.000 Be nice.

02:47:41.000 There's so much rape in my timeline. 0.70

02:47:42.000 I'm sure. 0.96

02:47:43.000 Don't rape his timeline. 0.84

02:47:45.000 There's more than one in six rape threats in my timeline.

02:47:48.000 Come on, folks.

02:47:49.000 You don't have to rape Jamie's timeline.

02:47:50.000 79 mentions. 0.99

02:47:52.000 I'm going to rape you at the Olive Garden. 0.99

02:47:54.000 Seven times, Brian? 1.00

02:47:55.000 Seven times. 1.00

02:47:56.000 Seven times, you fuck? 1.00

02:47:57.000 Seven times. 1.00

02:47:58.000 I was like the same people over and over again.

02:47:59.000 Look, folks.

02:48:01.000 Love and happiness is the only key to life.

02:48:03.000 If you want to be a happy person...

02:48:05.000 You gotta do a couple things. 0.56

02:48:06.000 One, you gotta get your own shit together so that nice people would wanna be around you, okay? 0.99

02:48:11.000 Because if you don't have your own shit together, you're not gonna attract nice people. 0.99

02:48:14.000 It's just a fact. 1.00

02:48:15.000 Nice people don't wanna deal with your bullshit. 1.00

02:48:16.000 And if they do deal with your bullshit, you're making them a victim and they're enabling you. 1.00

02:48:20.000 So get it together, you dirty fucking freaks! 1.00

02:48:23.000 Thanks to Onnit.com. 1.00

02:48:24.000 Go buy yourself some Alpha Brain to get clear thoughts like these.

02:48:28.000 This podcast is also brought to you by our silent sponsor, Marijuana.

02:48:32.000 Marijuana, which is illegal federally, but yet awesome.

02:48:35.000 And available here in California through select loopholes.

02:48:39.000 Go to Onnit.com if you want to get some non-marijuana hemp force protein.

02:48:44.000 It's hemp.

02:48:45.000 It's not marijuana.

02:48:46.000 Even though it's illegal, but you can buy it and bring it in here. 0.96

02:48:48.000 It doesn't make any fucking sense. 0.99

02:48:50.000 We're living in a fucking police state run by corporations. 1.00

02:48:55.000 Jamie Kilstein, break it down for folks. 1.00

02:48:56.000 This is the last words.

02:48:58.000 Say it, Jamie. 0.56

02:49:00.000 Corporations and rape are bad. 1.00

02:49:01.000 All that shit's bad. 1.00

02:49:03.000 Folks, we love you and we'll see you soon. 0.99

02:49:05.000 Thank you for all the positive support.

02:49:07.000 Thank you everybody that came out to the show in Denver. 0.93

02:49:09.000 It was fucking beyond fantastic. 0.92

02:49:11.000 We are on a crazy roll. 0.98

02:49:12.000 We're all in this thing together. 1.00

02:49:14.000 You fucking freak. 1.00

02:49:15.000 This girl raped me. 1.00

02:49:17.000 She threw me on the ground and then she used... 1.00

02:49:19.000 She's naked and covered in blood. 1.00

02:49:21.000 She's gonna rape me. 1.00

02:49:22.000 I think this is rape culture. 1.00

02:49:24.000 Shut it off quickly. 1.00

02:49:24.000 You're supporting girls raping you. 1.00

02:49:26.000 Alright, we love you guys and we will see you tomorrow. 1.00

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 14, 2012

Joe Rogan Experience #252 - Jamie Kilstein

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Transcript