The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #290 - John McAfee

00:00:03.000 Ladies and gentlemen, this is unsuspecting.

00:00:07.000 This is unsuspecting?

00:00:09.000 Unexpected is the word I was looking for.

00:00:10.000 I was searching.

00:00:11.000 I'm not good when I get up before noon, dude.

00:00:13.000 I know.

00:00:13.000 It doesn't work for me.

00:00:14.000 I ZMA'd, too.

00:00:16.000 Did you ZMA? Yes.

00:00:17.000 It helps you sleep, right?

00:00:18.000 Yeah, but it makes it kind of groggy for the first hour or so.

00:00:20.000 Really?

00:00:20.000 So I'm pretty groggy.

00:00:21.000 It gives me hard morning boners.

00:00:22.000 Yeah.

00:00:23.000 I find that it really increases my morning wood.

00:00:25.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:00:26.000 The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is sneaking up on bitches. 1.00

00:00:31.000 See, I'm looking right now. 0.93

00:00:32.000 There's hundreds of people that are alive. 0.99

00:00:34.000 How the fuck did they know? 1.00

00:00:35.000 There's cunts. 1.00

00:00:36.000 I'm not calling you cunts. 0.98

00:00:37.000 I love you guys. 0.99

00:00:37.000 They're ninjas. 0.99

00:00:38.000 I love you, but you're ninjas. 1.00

00:00:39.000 You fucking snuck in. 1.00

00:00:40.000 All 277 of you. 1.00

00:00:42.000 We didn't tell anybody what time we were doing.

00:00:44.000 Maybe I told, maybe I said like 1230 and some people just kept their browsers open.

00:00:48.000 Did you?

00:00:48.000 I don't know.

00:00:49.000 I'm sneaky like that!

00:00:51.000 Yesterday was a big blur.

00:00:54.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:00:55.000 Yesterday Brian put together all the equipment. 0.96

00:00:58.000 We had all, well, let's just fucking do the commercial real quick.

00:01:01.000 The Jerrogan Experience podcast is sponsored by, this episode at least, is sponsored by audible.com. 0.91

00:01:08.000 And Audible has a really fucking badass new application called Audible...

00:01:13.000 I believe it's called Audible Whisper Sync. 0.91

00:01:15.000 Yeah.

00:01:15.000 Yeah, Whisper...

00:01:17.000 I don't get it.

00:01:17.000 Explain that to me.

00:01:19.000 It's beautiful.

00:01:19.000 The idea is with...

00:01:21.000 And they sent me one of those Kindle fires, which I've yet to fire up.

00:01:26.000 I have the regular Kindle, the one that looks like paper.

00:01:28.000 It's really pretty cool.

00:01:29.000 I got a new one.

00:01:30.000 I actually have two.

00:01:31.000 I have three of them now.

00:01:32.000 Because I have the paper one...

00:01:34.000 But they sent me the Fire HD, which works on Amazon.

00:01:37.000 It allows you to get movies.

00:01:40.000 The application that Audible has that's native to it, or that's built in rather, comes with the Kindle Fire.

00:01:49.000 It's really amazing.

00:01:51.000 What it is, is you read the book.

00:01:52.000 Say if you're at home and you're reading the book, and you're like, oh, I've got to get to sleep.

00:01:56.000 When you get up in the morning, you sync the page To your smartphone.

00:02:01.000 So when you get up in the morning, you plug your smartphone into your car and a companion audible book picks up where you left off.

00:02:09.000 So it's a professional audio book with like a real actor reading it. 0.99

00:02:14.000 Don't ever get the ones with Stephen King reading his own shit. 0.99

00:02:17.000 Really? 0.99

00:02:17.000 Stephen King's one of my favorite authors, don't get me wrong. 0.99

00:02:19.000 But it's way better when you have like an actor reading it.

00:02:22.000 He's like sort of flat with his delivery.

00:02:24.000 And then he came up the stairs and he got shot.

00:02:27.000 Well, he tries.

00:02:28.000 It's just...

00:02:28.000 Awkward.

00:02:29.000 It's awkward. 0.99

00:02:30.000 But he's a fucking brilliant writer. 1.00

00:02:31.000 But the Audible books with him kind of suck it. 0.99

00:02:34.000 But I just love that this... 0.97

00:02:36.000 I think this is the future.

00:02:37.000 And it makes, to me, it makes commutes so much better.

00:02:41.000 I drove over here.

00:02:42.000 I was listening to an Audible book.

00:02:44.000 I think that...

00:02:46.000 It's a great way to make time if you live in any sort of situation where you have to travel, commuting, whether it's airplanes or whether it's being stuck in traffic every day. 0.92

00:02:57.000 An Audible book really makes the difference between fucking hating it and actually enjoying your time.

00:03:04.000 And the way Audible has set up, they have, I mean, I don't know how many fucking thousands of different It's really, 0.94

00:03:27.000 as a comedian, that one really is very motivational, too.

00:03:32.000 You listen to Steve Martin talk about the glory days and starting out in comedy.

00:03:36.000 It makes you want to go on stage.

00:03:37.000 Starting up here at the Ice House.

00:03:39.000 He talks about the Ice House a lot. 0.98

00:03:40.000 Yeah, well, this place is fucking super-duper historic.

00:03:44.000 And if you go to audible.com, Joe, Audible will give you 30 days free service, and they will also give you one free audio book. 0.94

00:03:58.000 So go and check it out.

00:03:59.000 You try it free for 30 days.

00:04:01.000 It's an awesome service.

00:04:02.000 They're a really cool company.

00:04:03.000 They've been around a long time.

00:04:04.000 And they've supported a lot of comedians too.

00:04:07.000 Like I was talking about with Proops the other day.

00:04:09.000 I know he did some stuff for them.

00:04:10.000 And Marmel did some stuff for them.

00:04:12.000 And it's just a really cool and useful product that I think that if you haven't been into audiobooks before, it will really enhance your life.

00:04:22.000 Especially if you're in any sort of commuting situation. 0.99

00:04:26.000 So go check it out, you dirty bitches. 1.00

00:04:28.000 And we're also sponsored by Onnit.com. 0.98

00:04:32.000 Onnit has expanded, if you haven't been there in a long time.

00:04:35.000 We started out as essentially just a supplement company and we've worked our way into fitness equipment.

00:04:40.000 We now sell Blendtec blenders, which, you know, I'm always talking about drinking kale smoothies and how kale shakes make you, you know, just a massive amount of nutrients and it really makes your body feel fantastic.

00:04:53.000 So we started selling the blenders to make those things.

00:04:56.000 We started selling Blendtec blenders.

00:04:58.000 I'm a big fan of kettlebells and battle ropes and doing things and exercises which enhance what's called functional strength, meaning strength that you can use in an athletic endeavor, picking things up. 0.88

00:05:12.000 Strength that really comes into play instead of like, there's a lot of bodybuilding type exercises that just really make you look sexy as fuck, but they don't do anything. 0.81

00:05:20.000 They don't really enhance your athleticism.

00:05:23.000 They enhance your ability to move things in an isolated manner, which is kind of unnatural.

00:05:28.000 The way you pick up things really is you use your entire body.

00:05:31.000 When you're moving things around and carrying things, you're using all your muscles together and coordination as one.

00:05:37.000 That's what kettlebells are all about. 1.00

00:05:39.000 It's my favorite form of exercise as far as weight training.

00:05:42.000 I think you can get everything in there.

00:05:43.000 You can get your strength training in there.

00:05:44.000 You can get conditioning and cardio with kettlebells.

00:05:49.000 We even sell one of my all-time favorite videos for training with kettlebells.

00:05:56.000 It's the Kettlebell Cardio Workout.

00:05:59.000 By Keith Weber.

00:06:01.000 Extreme kettlebell cardio workout.

00:06:03.000 And it's out of stock.

00:06:05.000 We sold them out already.

00:06:07.000 They're that good, man. 0.99

00:06:08.000 They're fucking tremendous. 0.99

00:06:10.000 It's one of my favorite all-time videos. 1.00

00:06:12.000 He just puts you through the fucking meat grinder. 0.99

00:06:15.000 And I do it with a 35-pound kettlebell. 1.00

00:06:17.000 It's not much weight.

00:06:18.000 You'd think you could do that all day long.

00:06:19.000 You can't. 0.99

00:06:20.000 It's fucking brutal. 0.99

00:06:21.000 And it's an amazing cardio workout. 0.99

00:06:24.000 It's one of the best as far as doing something for me that translates to jiu-jitsu.

00:06:29.000 This workout is one of the best. 0.99

00:06:31.000 And so all that shit, we have it on it. 0.99

00:06:33.000 The supplements, all of them come with a first order of 30 pills, 100% money-back guarantee. 0.99

00:06:38.000 You don't have to return the product. 0.90

00:06:40.000 No one's trying to sell you anything that sucks.

00:06:42.000 It's all good stuff.

00:06:43.000 It's not going to fix you, but if you want to make your life...

00:06:46.000 One of the best ways to make your life better is to have a body that works better, whether it's through exercise and most certainly through nutrition.

00:06:55.000 I'm a huge proponent of eating healthy, of taking a lot of green leafy vegetables, eating vitamin supplements.

00:07:02.000 I take a lot of vitamin supplements every day.

00:07:04.000 I take these athlete pure packs so everything's all packed up for me.

00:07:09.000 I take extra fish oil and I took a lot of different Onnit supplements like Alpha Brain before shows and Shroom Tech Sport before workouts.

00:07:18.000 There's too much to mention so go check it out on Onnit.com and if you use the code name Rogan you save 10% off any and all supplements.

00:07:26.000 Right you dirty freaks. 0.97

00:07:27.000 Cue the music Brian. 1.00

00:07:29.000 Let's make it official.

00:07:33.000 The Joe Rogan experience.

00:07:35.000 Train by day.

00:07:36.000 Joe Rogan podcast by night.

00:07:38.000 All day.

00:07:40.000 So, ladies and gentlemen, as of right now, as of this moment, it's just me and my little buddy Brian.

00:07:45.000 Hello.

00:07:45.000 What's up, fella?

00:07:46.000 We don't do enough of these anymore.

00:07:47.000 I know.

00:07:48.000 I had a really rough night last night.

00:07:51.000 What happened?

00:07:52.000 I took that ZMA, and then I went out to eat, and I started falling asleep while I was on the beginning stages of ZMA, and that stuff hits you hard.

00:08:02.000 Like, I couldn't really drive on the way home.

00:08:04.000 It was like being drunk driving last night.

00:08:06.000 What?!

00:08:06.000 Yeah, so don't drink, or don't ZMA before you drive, and then go to Denny's.

00:08:11.000 I can't, wait a minute, but zinc is just, I mean ZMA rather, is just zinc, magnesium, and what else?

00:08:19.000 Is there anything else in there?

00:08:20.000 A couple of sleeping pills.

00:08:22.000 It doesn't do that to me.

00:08:24.000 It doesn't do that to me at all.

00:08:25.000 It was, I was saying double, I had to do the pirate drive, where you have to hold one eye while you drive.

00:08:31.000 It's weird how weird people's bodies react to different things.

00:08:34.000 People that are allergic to peanuts, I know it's true, but I don't believe it. 1.00

00:08:39.000 I know it's true, but I want to eat that peanut, bitch. 1.00

00:08:41.000 You know you can eat that peanut. 1.00

00:08:42.000 Give me those.

00:08:42.000 I'll eat them.

00:08:43.000 There's nothing wrong with peanuts.

00:08:44.000 How can that be possible?

00:08:46.000 I waited at a restaurant where a lady ate something. 1.00

00:08:48.000 I don't know if it was peanuts or some kind of fish where her throat started getting closed up and the ambulance had to take her away.

00:08:53.000 Well, that happened to a guy on Fear Factor.

00:08:55.000 We didn't know that he was allergic to eating roaches. 0.99

00:08:58.000 By the way, There was a roach-eating contest in Florida, and a guy fucking choked to death and died. 0.99

00:09:02.000 Yeah, same reason. 0.98

00:09:03.000 Was it the same reason?

00:09:04.000 I think, isn't it?

00:09:05.000 Because if you're allergic to shellfish, right?

00:09:08.000 Well, that's what it was on Fear Factor, but I don't know about this roach-eating guy who died.

00:09:12.000 Eating guy dies.

00:09:15.000 Roaches.

00:09:15.000 Have you ever lived in a house that had roaches?

00:09:17.000 Oh yeah, definitely.

00:09:18.000 In the East Coast, it's a real problem.

00:09:20.000 It's not that much of a problem in LA. Not as much of a problem.

00:09:24.000 They have them out here.

00:09:24.000 I saw a big one out here in Pasadena at the Ice House.

00:09:28.000 Fucking giant one who was probably alive back when Dean Martin was still with Jerry Lewis. 1.00

00:09:32.000 This fucking roach was huge, man. 1.00

00:09:34.000 Yeah, those are like Disney roaches. 1.00

00:09:35.000 They seem drawn. 0.62

00:09:37.000 We have a rat problem at my house.

00:09:38.000 Just tons of mice and rats.

00:09:40.000 They don't go in the house, but they just all live in trees. 1.00

00:09:42.000 My tree has two rats that are just living up there like fucking kids in a tree house. 1.00

00:09:47.000 This guy choked to death on his own vomit. 1.00

00:09:49.000 Oh.

00:09:50.000 Whoops.

00:09:51.000 It says, Edward Archibald choked to death on his own vomit after downing piles of bugs at a pet store... 0.99

00:10:01.000 Pat's store had a fucking roach eating contest and this guy has a giant mouthful of roaches and he choked to death on his own vomit. 0.99

00:10:08.000 Wow. 1.00

00:10:10.000 That's a weird way to die, man.

00:10:12.000 Especially roach vomit.

00:10:13.000 It all has legs and half of it's moving.

00:10:15.000 I can't help but feel a little bit responsible for this.

00:10:20.000 Oh yeah, you're somewhat involved with that.

00:10:22.000 Yeah, I think I contributed to this part of the retarded culture. 1.00

00:10:27.000 By Through Fear Factor, I think I definitely contributed to this, at least part of this.

00:10:32.000 It's craziness.

00:10:34.000 Jesus Christ, that's a disturbing thing to read.

00:10:37.000 Man choked to death on his own vomit during a cockroach eating contest at a pet store. 1.00

00:10:46.000 Fuck, man. 1.00

00:10:47.000 It really is like Running Man. 1.00

00:10:49.000 Like when you watch the movie Running Man, they show you people going for money and dogs chasing them and biting them.

00:10:55.000 Like, well, that would never happen.

00:10:56.000 This is just an exaggeration. 0.98

00:10:58.000 But the more you see shit like that, you're like, nah, not really an exaggeration anymore. 0.99

00:11:02.000 In fact, it's just as fucked up or more fucked up than fiction. 1.00

00:11:08.000 Like the cum drinking part in Fear Factor, when we had people drink cum, that's more fucked up than anything you've ever seen in a movie about life being fucked up. 0.99

00:11:18.000 And it was real. 0.99

00:11:19.000 You know when you have a movie and they have those scenes of crazy shows?

00:11:23.000 Like Saw.

00:11:23.000 Yeah, like parody things.

00:11:26.000 Yeah, it's fucking disgusting. 0.99

00:11:29.000 Your rodent problem, they have a unique way of trying to solve that in Chicago. 1.00

00:11:35.000 In Chicago, they have coyotes.

00:11:37.000 They know where the coyotes are.

00:11:39.000 They know their nests.

00:11:40.000 They're in Chicago.

00:11:41.000 There's 60 of them.

00:11:42.000 And these coyotes are tracked. 0.92

00:11:44.000 They have collars on them with, like, RFID devices or whatever the fuck it is they use to track them. 0.87

00:11:49.000 And they follow them around to make sure that, you know, these coyotes are, like, killing all the rats. 0.94

00:11:55.000 Why don't they just...

00:11:55.000 That seems dangerous, that just release coyotes.

00:11:58.000 I mean, they're not dangerous animals, really, but, yeah, they kill animals.

00:12:01.000 Why don't they just release tons of cats? 0.99

00:12:03.000 All the cats that are in the, like, the pens or whatever?

00:12:06.000 I think...

00:12:07.000 In shelters?

00:12:07.000 First of all, because I think people associate cats with pets.

00:12:12.000 You know, they associate it with, aw, poor little kitty, come to my house, and you keep him in your house, and then the fucking cat doesn't get to eat any rats. 0.99

00:12:18.000 Oh, right. 0.98

00:12:19.000 And the other thing is that they spread diseases, like that toxoplasma thing, the one that they know about with rats.

00:12:26.000 That would be really irresponsible if you wanted to have a bunch of cats and a bunch of rats interacting with people.

00:12:32.000 What if they give him little outfits that show that they work for the city, like the orange outfits and stuff, and it's illegal if you take him into your house?

00:12:40.000 People would take him in anyway. 1.00

00:12:41.000 Joey Diaz would go, this cocksucker, he didn't sign up to be working for the fucking DEA over here. 1.00

00:12:46.000 This little guy, this little buddy, he's my little pal. 1.00

00:12:49.000 He'd rather have fucking chicken vittles. 0.99

00:12:51.000 So he gives them tender vittles. 1.00

00:12:53.000 Yeah, but they would put trackers, just like the coyotes would put little Fitbits in the cat's asses. 0.96

00:12:57.000 Yeah, I don't know if that works like that. 0.75

00:12:59.000 I don't think if you do that to cats, people would get mad at you.

00:13:02.000 If you had a bunch of cats running around with RFID collars on and you were leaving them in the wild and forcing them to fend for themselves.

00:13:08.000 Yeah, but you tell them like, hey, or they're going to get euthanized tonight.

00:13:12.000 Yeah, but people would want to feed them.

00:13:13.000 They would want to be interacting with them.

00:13:15.000 And when people interact with cats, if it's a feral cat, that's when you have the risk of that toxoplasma infection.

00:13:22.000 Yeah.

00:13:23.000 So I think it would be irresponsible.

00:13:24.000 Yeah, but that's why you just have to make it, have a little costume and make it illegal. 1.00

00:13:28.000 Like, look, you get three years jail.

00:13:29.000 We have trackers in these.

00:13:30.000 These are working cats.

00:13:32.000 Maybe put little knives in their hands or something like that so you can't touch them.

00:13:35.000 I don't think that put knives in their hands.

00:13:40.000 I think coyotes are better at killing anyway. 0.95

00:13:43.000 I think they're better at it. 1.00

00:13:44.000 Coyotes are creepy fucks. 0.99

00:13:46.000 It just seems like we would have more cats to get rid of. 1.00

00:13:49.000 Well, they're going to eat the cats too.

00:13:50.000 Coyotes are going to eat the cats too. 0.99

00:13:52.000 Coyotes are dangerous.

00:13:53.000 Well, they're definitely dangerous.

00:13:54.000 But if they only have 60 of them and they keep an eye on them, it's a novel idea.

00:13:59.000 They know where their dens are and everything.

00:14:01.000 That's crazy. 0.99

00:14:01.000 It's fucking beyond crazy. 0.99

00:14:03.000 Essentially, they have these wild predators, just small enough to be manageable. 0.99

00:14:08.000 It's not like a team of polar bears that lives in your town.

00:14:11.000 They're just small enough, and they're just hungry enough to keep the rat problem in check. 1.00

00:14:16.000 Fuck, it might work, dude. 1.00

00:14:17.000 They're testing out drones. 1.00

00:14:19.000 That's drone training.

00:14:20.000 Yeah, it is like a drone.

00:14:21.000 You're right.

00:14:22.000 It's like an animal drone. 0.99

00:14:24.000 But yeah, and how do we know that they're not fucking putting chips in those coyotes' brains? 0.99

00:14:27.000 Yeah, those are Google coyotes. 0.99

00:14:28.000 Remote controlling them from Florida.

00:14:31.000 Could be.

00:14:32.000 Coyotes got mail.

00:14:33.000 Yeah.

00:14:33.000 Yeah, coyotes are...

00:14:35.000 That's a creepy thing to have around children, too, because they will kill a kid.

00:14:38.000 Totally.

00:14:38.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:14:39.000 Cats won't kill a kid. 0.99

00:14:40.000 Cats can't kill a kid. 0.99

00:14:40.000 And you just... 0.99

00:14:41.000 Like, the whole city has tons of cats everywhere.

00:14:44.000 There's not going to be any mice.

00:14:46.000 And then...

00:14:47.000 Yeah, I wonder what they do if the coyotes do keep the rat population in check to the point where there's no more rats.

00:14:55.000 And how do they get access to the rats?

00:14:57.000 How do you ensure that the coyotes get access to the rats?

00:15:00.000 It's almost like you have to bait the rats.

00:15:02.000 How do you get them into a spot where the coyotes... 0.84

00:15:05.000 You just let the coyotes figure it out?

00:15:07.000 Let the rats figure it out?

00:15:08.000 The problem is the coyotes are going to be shy of going near people.

00:15:11.000 And they're going to be hungry.

00:15:13.000 But the rats are going to be near people because that's where the garbage is. 0.97

00:15:15.000 So if the coyotes go near the rats, they're going near the people.

00:15:18.000 So the coyotes are going to be around people.

00:15:20.000 That's creepy. 0.99

00:15:21.000 It only takes a couple months until we start fucking those coyotes. 1.00

00:15:23.000 Would you fuck a coyote? 1.00

00:15:25.000 No. 1.00

00:15:26.000 Well, if it was held down, tied down. 1.00

00:15:28.000 If a coyote tried to kill you, would you fuck it? 1.00

00:15:30.000 If I had to, I would fuck it. 1.00

00:15:32.000 I ain't a poodle, you motherfucker. 1.00

00:15:34.000 Just stick your dick in the coyote. 1.00

00:15:35.000 I'm not for it. 1.00

00:15:36.000 Dominate him. 1.00

00:15:37.000 Animal sex doesn't seem as good as fish sex and dolphin sex. 0.99

00:15:40.000 Fish and dolphin sex. 0.91

00:15:41.000 Fish?

00:15:42.000 Well, fish sex seems cleaner.

00:15:43.000 Fish don't have sex, buddy. 1.00

00:15:44.000 It seems cleaner and slimy. 1.00

00:15:45.000 Dude, they don't even have vaginas. 1.00

00:15:46.000 Do you know that? 1.00

00:15:47.000 Fish, they don't sex. 1.00

00:15:48.000 Yeah, but they have very big mouths. 1.00

00:15:49.000 The male, they have big mouths. 0.99

00:15:52.000 Yeah, with teeth in them, dude.

00:15:53.000 They have teeth on their tongue. 1.00

00:15:55.000 Yeah, you just pull out the teeth and fuck it. 1.00

00:15:56.000 I don't think you can pull out tongue teeth. 1.00

00:15:58.000 Oh.

00:15:59.000 Have you ever seen that fish where there's a parasite that lives inside of its mouth and eats its tongue and actually replaces its tongue?

00:16:07.000 And it becomes the tongue.

00:16:08.000 Yeah, it becomes the tongue.

00:16:09.000 It is the tongue.

00:16:10.000 What's that called?

00:16:11.000 I don't know.

00:16:13.000 Google fish with a parasite for tongue.

00:16:16.000 But it literally doesn't have a tongue anymore. 1.00

00:16:18.000 It has this fucking bug living in its mouth. 1.00

00:16:22.000 Nature, you scary. 1.00

00:16:24.000 Nature, you so scary.

00:16:26.000 One of the newest things that someone tweeted me is this combination polar bear-grizzly bear hybrid that has been seen a lot in Alaska lately.

00:16:39.000 The tongue?

00:16:40.000 Yeah, the tongue is nuts.

00:16:41.000 Hey guys, how are you doing? 0.98

00:16:43.000 The picture we're looking at is a dead fish that has this larva, whatever the fuck it is, beetle, bug-looking thing living in its mouth that literally replaces the fish's tongue.

00:16:54.000 The fish can't get rid of it, so it just accepts the fact this thing lives in its mouth. 0.73

00:16:58.000 And the fish keeps eating, and as the fish is eating, this thing, living as its tongue, gets to feast. 1.00

00:17:06.000 This works the dick, and this works the balls. 1.00

00:17:08.000 Yeah, and it takes the same place. 1.00

00:17:10.000 It helps get the food down into the hole, but it also steals a bunch for itself, I guess.

00:17:15.000 That's crazy.

00:17:16.000 The parasite relationship with parasites and organisms is so creepy.

00:17:22.000 There's so many different, weird examples of parasitic relationships.

00:17:26.000 I'm calling your phone, bro.

00:17:28.000 Really?

00:17:28.000 Look at this picture.

00:17:29.000 This is like a skeleton version of that parasite animal thing.

00:17:33.000 Oh, that was that dude.

00:17:35.000 Ooh.

00:17:36.000 Let me see. 1.00

00:17:37.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:17:39.000 Oh, hey, how's it going, big guy? 1.00

00:17:43.000 I don't know if I can call him back.

00:17:44.000 Let me see if I can.

00:17:45.000 Want me to kiss him?

00:17:46.000 Want me to kiss him right now? 0.97

00:17:50.000 Yeah, the parasitic relationship is very strange, man. 0.99

00:17:53.000 Do parasites have parasites? 0.99

00:17:55.000 That's a good question.

00:17:56.000 I have to.

00:17:57.000 What's inside the...

00:17:57.000 Hey, John, it's Joe.

00:17:59.000 Did you get the other number?

00:18:04.000 It's been busy.

00:18:05.000 That number's busy.

00:18:06.000 Okay.

00:18:07.000 It's still busy, he's saying.

00:18:09.000 All right, hold on.

00:18:10.000 We're going to make sure it's cleared off right now.

00:18:13.000 Otherwise, I'll just put you on speakerphone.

00:18:17.000 Yeah, let me hold on to you for a second right here.

00:18:20.000 We'll figure this out.

00:18:22.000 Try it now.

00:18:23.000 Can you try it now?

00:18:24.000 Or should I hang up?

00:18:25.000 Hang up and try it now, and if it doesn't work, call me back.

00:18:28.000 All right, he's trying to know.

00:18:33.000 Yeah, the aquatic worm is the weirdest one.

00:18:36.000 Grows inside of a grasshopper's body, and then when it's ready to be hatched, it tricks the grasshopper into committing suicide.

00:18:43.000 Yeah.

00:18:43.000 Is it coming in?

00:18:44.000 Yeah.

00:18:45.000 All right, here we go.

00:18:47.000 Hello?

00:18:48.000 Hello?

00:18:49.000 Mr. McAfee.

00:18:51.000 Yes.

00:18:52.000 It's Joe Rogan.

00:18:53.000 How are you, sir?

00:18:55.000 I'm doing good, sir.

00:18:55.000 How are you doing?

00:18:56.000 I'm doing great, man.

00:18:57.000 We're online now.

00:18:59.000 So I want to thank you, first of all, for taking this conversation with us, because you don't know anything about this podcast, and you took a real chance in doing this, and I really appreciate that.

00:19:12.000 Well, you're very welcome, sir.

00:19:14.000 Go ahead.

00:19:14.000 I'm saying your story is absolutely fascinating and it really is a privilege to be able to communicate with you while all this is going on because as you know, your story has become a bit of a pop culture legend right now.

00:19:30.000 And for folks who don't know what the story is, you founded McAfee Antivirus Software, a tremendously successful company.

00:19:38.000 But for the last five years, you've been living in Belize, sort of living like a character in a Hunter S. Thompson movie.

00:19:45.000 And now you're in a bit of hot water and you're on the lam stating your case on your blog, which is official.

00:19:56.000 What is the blog's name?

00:19:58.000 The URL for the blog?

00:20:02.000 Well, the blog is official McAfee.

00:20:06.000 No, I'm sorry.

00:20:07.000 The blog is whoismcafee.com.

00:20:09.000 Sorry, whoismcafee.com.

00:20:12.000 Our Twitter is official McAfee.

00:20:13.000 And whoismcafee.com, you're updating on almost a daily basis.

00:20:19.000 You're writing all this stuff, man?

00:20:23.000 Every post for me is from my own hand.

00:20:25.000 So, that is a very rare situation where a guy's on the lam, and while he's doing it, he's making a blog.

00:20:32.000 Are you doing this because you fear that your story's not going to get out there clearly and correctly?

00:20:40.000 Well, it's not that I fear it's not.

00:20:42.000 I know it's not.

00:20:42.000 The story has gotten out there through the agents of people like Jeff Wise and Joshua Davis of Wired Magazine, and so the story was radically incorrect as they portrayed it.

00:20:55.000 They portrayed you as this sort of off-the-rails nutter who's living in this beautiful country and having a big party for your life.

00:21:06.000 It seemed like you were, you know, that's how they portrayed it.

00:21:11.000 Correct.

00:21:12.000 Actually, they went so far as to quote specific drugs they said I was using, like MDPV, which is methylene-dioxypyrovalerone.

00:21:22.000 Now, anybody who knows that that drug knows it is the most addictive drug on the planet.

00:21:28.000 People who start it cannot start, which means that as we're speaking, I must be taking it. 0.93

00:21:33.000 So, oh my God, the rats, the rats.

00:21:35.000 I'm sorry, rats are jumping out of my phone.

00:21:37.000 So the question is... 0.95

00:21:39.000 Do I sound like a demented, paranoid schizophrenic or not? 0.98

00:21:43.000 Wow. 0.98

00:21:43.000 Well, I would have to be right next to you and look you in the eyes to answer that honestly. 0.98

00:21:47.000 Because some people are really good at being smooth and keeping it together while they're all fucked up. 0.97

00:21:55.000 But these speculations about this... 0.97

00:21:58.000 Let's just say what you're wanted for, first of all.

00:22:00.000 Your next-door neighbor turned up dead.

00:22:03.000 And you had to flee for your safety because you're sure, rather, that there's some sort of a conspiracy and that they're going to try to not only blame you for that, but you believe even possibly harm you or kill you.

00:22:18.000 Well, it's not that I believe it.

00:22:19.000 I know it for a fact, sir.

00:22:21.000 You know it for a fact.

00:22:21.000 By the way, he was not by next owner.

00:22:24.000 He lived about 200 yards down the beach.

00:22:26.000 I barely knew the gentleman.

00:22:27.000 Oh, okay.

00:22:28.000 And there was no dispute between you and this gentleman?

00:22:32.000 I'm sorry, there's no what?

00:22:33.000 There was no dispute between you and this gentleman?

00:22:36.000 Oh, absolutely there was a dispute, but it was nothing more than a dispute that all neighbors face.

00:22:41.000 He did not like my dogs.

00:22:43.000 I didn't speak much with the gentleman.

00:22:45.000 He drank more than the average person, and I just didn't get along.

00:22:52.000 And he did not like the dogs barking at night.

00:22:54.000 And quite frankly, I didn't like them barking at night either.

00:22:57.000 They annoyed me, so I understood his complaint.

00:23:00.000 But as to being hostile or hateful, absolutely not.

00:23:05.000 But someone poisoned your dogs.

00:23:09.000 They did, and it was the night before.

00:23:11.000 It could not have been him.

00:23:12.000 He owns dogs himself, or owns dogs.

00:23:15.000 Any dog lover, I don't know whether you have dogs or not, Joe, but no dog lover, no one who has dogs, would ever, ever harm another dog.

00:23:22.000 Certainly not that way.

00:23:23.000 And the poison used was the most horrible.

00:23:25.000 They were vomiting blood, they were shitting blood. 0.99

00:23:28.000 I had to put them out of their misery. 0.87

00:23:30.000 No one would do that to a dog if they love dogs.

00:23:32.000 So you feel like someone else was involved and they did it and this man is being connected to that because he died.

00:23:41.000 Now why are they blaming it on you?

00:23:45.000 Okay, let me give you the history.

00:23:47.000 In the last day of April of this year, I woke up at 6 in the morning to 42 armed soldiers in full riot gear carrying automatic weapons storming my property in Orange Walk on the River.

00:24:00.000 I was held in handcuffs behind my back in the sun for fourteen hours without food or water.

00:24:06.000 At one point, by the way, I asked a guard for food and water, not just for me, but for everyone else.

00:24:10.000 The guard's response was, do I look like a chef to you?

00:24:15.000 Now, indeed, he did not look like a chef, so it was my mistake, but it was not a pleasant day.

00:24:20.000 From that moment on, I've had nothing but problems with the Belizean government.

00:24:24.000 The day afterwards, I demanded an apology from the Prime Minister.

00:24:32.000 Now, they thought that you were running a meth lab.

00:24:35.000 That was the accusation, correct?

00:24:36.000 Because you actually were doing some legitimate scientific work, according to what I've read, was that you were trying to work on some new antibiotic that comes from plants found in the rainforest.

00:24:48.000 Was that the idea?

00:24:50.000 Well, it's a new science called quorum sensing, which involves communication between bacteria.

00:24:55.000 And it was not really an antibiotic.

00:24:56.000 It was a topical antiseptic, but a fairly magical one.

00:25:00.000 By the way, a week after the raid, the government tried to charge me with running an antibiotics laboratory without a license.

00:25:07.000 That failed because, first of all, no such law exists.

00:25:12.000 After that, they tried to charge me for hiring security guards without a license.

00:25:16.000 It's been going on non-stop for seven months.

00:25:20.000 Now, the other reason why they would suspect that there was some crazy drugs involved was because of forum posts that have been attributed to you that were all about purifying the chemicals known as bath salts and turning them into some crazy new,

00:25:37.000 more concentrated form of something that makes you hypersexual.

00:25:43.000 And all these posts online were attributed to you.

00:25:47.000 Are these things you actually wrote?

00:25:51.000 No, absolutely.

00:25:52.000 I wrote them.

00:25:52.000 And if you go there, the site is Blue Light.

00:25:56.000 It's the largest drug form in the world.

00:25:58.000 And basically, 10 years ago, a drug called MDPV-TAN, a mythical drug, people claim to have found with magical properties.

00:26:09.000 And the myth continues on.

00:26:11.000 My post was claiming to have rediscovered the formula for it.

00:26:15.000 Now, the chemists online, there are about 200 chemists on Blue Light, all said, This is a hoax.

00:26:20.000 This is total nonsense, and they wandered off.

00:26:23.000 The rank and file followed through with it.

00:26:25.000 I am a practical jokester.

00:26:26.000 I have a lot of free time, and I just like to have fun.

00:26:30.000 So you just trolled?

00:26:32.000 However, had I rediscovered that formula, I would go to Bayer, Bayer Laboratories in Germany, with a formula and a sample and demand a check for a billion dollars.

00:26:40.000 What would I be doing here?

00:26:43.000 So, you think you'd get a billion dollars for some drug that makes you hypersexual? 0.94

00:26:49.000 Hell yeah. 0.63

00:26:49.000 Hot Rod 6,000. 0.63

00:26:50.000 Okay, well, let's say, what do you think Viagra, what do you think that Cialis, what do you think all these sex drugs are?

00:26:56.000 They are marital aids.

00:26:58.000 So a marital aid, a marital aid that enhance sex.

00:27:02.000 Yes, I think so.

00:27:03.000 I think the president of the company would be down on his knees handing me the check going, We now own the world.

00:27:10.000 I mean, of course so.

00:27:11.000 I mean, what do you think drugs are all about, sir?

00:27:13.000 Well, yeah, I think people draw the line with bath salts. 0.60

00:27:18.000 I don't know the actual effects of it physically, because I haven't experienced them, but when you see them attributed to people biting people's faces off and shit like that, which is what we see in the news, and the crazy stories on airwood.com, If you go.org,

00:27:33.000 if you go and read the Arrowhead trip reports of people who have taken that stuff, it doesn't seem like a good experience at all.

00:27:40.000 So I don't know how that would be really profitable.

00:27:43.000 If you read this post, sir, it had nothing to do with basalt.

00:27:46.000 It had to do with a drug called MTPV-CAN. If you read all of the myth about it, it had nothing to do with that.

00:27:52.000 It was a purely sexual enhancement.

00:27:54.000 Okay, so the bath salt label...

00:27:56.000 In my mind, it has nothing to do with it.

00:27:58.000 They just attributed it to, quote, bath salts.

00:28:01.000 This is, again, the main line for us doing what it does best.

00:28:04.000 Let's sensationalize as best we can.

00:28:06.000 But you know all about these chemicals in pretty intimate order.

00:28:10.000 I mean, you know all the various different chemical names, and you know enough to troll these people effectively.

00:28:17.000 But you don't experience these drugs yourself?

00:28:21.000 Of course not.

00:28:22.000 I know about a lot of things.

00:28:23.000 I know a lot about IP address rectification.

00:28:26.000 I don't know how to do it.

00:28:28.000 You know a lot of things that you do not do.

00:28:31.000 I read, sir.

00:28:32.000 I have plenty of time.

00:28:33.000 Oh, I believe you.

00:28:34.000 No, I'm listening.

00:28:34.000 Anything interesting, I will devour.

00:28:36.000 I believe you.

00:28:37.000 Look, I mean, I'm not saying that I don't believe you.

00:28:40.000 I have no reason to question you. 1.00

00:28:42.000 I just thought it was a very strange thing to do, to write this really elaborate troll about sex, you know, about making, you know, you want to jerk off to your dick bleeds. 1.00

00:28:51.000 I thought it was hilarious. 1.00

00:28:54.000 Okay, well, I thought it was hilarious too, but some people did not.

00:28:57.000 But listen, this is not unique for me.

00:28:59.000 If you search online for a thing called observational yoga, let me tell you this story.

00:29:04.000 A woman from the Village Voice, writing for the Village Voice, called me to make a comment on the highly publicized lawsuit between Bikram Chowdhury and a guy named Gregory Gamuchio.

00:29:15.000 And Gregory used to be one of my yoga students.

00:29:19.000 She had no sense of humor.

00:29:21.000 So she finally said, what are you doing now?

00:29:23.000 I said, I'm running a bunch of observational yoga studios in Belize.

00:29:26.000 She goes, what's that?

00:29:27.000 I said, well, we've discovered that if you sit in an easy chair, drink wine, and eat hors d'oeuvres, and watch people do yoga, you get exactly the same benefits.

00:29:35.000 She said, really?

00:29:36.000 So I stretched it out.

00:29:38.000 I said, yes, and we're going to start opening up observational weight training studios.

00:29:42.000 And I went on to say that it works for everything except we've had no sex with observational concert pianists.

00:29:48.000 We have people watch people play piano all day long and they still can't play the piano.

00:29:52.000 We don't know why. 0.99

00:29:53.000 Now obviously it's a fucking joke. 0.98

00:29:55.000 And what happened? 0.99

00:29:55.000 She published a story. 0.99

00:29:57.000 Check it out on the web.

00:29:58.000 A long story about observational yoga.

00:30:00.000 I had franchise requests from all over the world.

00:30:04.000 That's hilarious.

00:30:05.000 But you did have this chemical lab on your lot, developing this antiseptic.

00:30:11.000 So that's where the confusion came in, where people were like, oh, so this guy actually has all this equipment, but he's not, you know...

00:30:18.000 So you weren't...

00:30:20.000 You weren't doing any of that stuff that was said in that blog.

00:30:23.000 That was all in humor.

00:30:25.000 But did they find any of those chemicals and substances when they raided your place?

00:30:30.000 But they found them and they weren't illegal?

00:30:33.000 Because those substances aren't illegal, technically?

00:30:37.000 No, they found none of those substances, sir.

00:30:39.000 They swept that lab with a fine-cooked home.

00:30:43.000 There was nothing in there but herbs that we had picked along the river.

00:30:48.000 Well, just to play devil's advocate,

00:31:07.000 I mean, if you were...

00:31:10.000 Going to be this incredibly rich guy, which by all reports you are, living in this country, having a 17-year-old girlfriend, which by all reports you do, and you were...

00:31:20.000 My friend applauds you.

00:31:22.000 Congratulations.

00:31:23.000 Sorry, I applaud you as well.

00:31:24.000 And you were trying to have a good time, and you were cooking up some stuff, and I wouldn't necessarily think you would want to take it public.

00:31:35.000 I would think that that in and of itself, you know, cooking that stuff up and reporting about it online would be enough.

00:31:41.000 I mean, if you were a poor person and it was an amazing business opportunity, but I feel like a guy like you who moves down to Belize with a shitload of money, you're already in it for the vacation.

00:31:52.000 Anyway, why would you go back to work?

00:31:54.000 Why would you really try to pitch some hypersexual meth?

00:31:58.000 You know, I could see playing devil's advocate why people would think that that is the story.

00:32:04.000 Could you see why people would think that's the story?

00:32:08.000 Yeah, I can understand.

00:32:09.000 But let me tell you something, sir.

00:32:11.000 Money is the aphrodisiac.

00:32:13.000 I hate to tell you that, and I hate to be cynical.

00:32:15.000 But a man at my age at 67, it is the idea of lots of cash that turns some women on.

00:32:21.000 I'm sorry to say that, and I will get trashed.

00:32:24.000 You're not going to get trashed.

00:32:26.000 That's honesty.

00:32:27.000 That's honesty, man.

00:32:29.000 From your experience especially, it's proven to be absolutely factual.

00:32:33.000 So you are, in a sense, you're saying...

00:32:36.000 I'm sitting here with Samantha. 0.99

00:32:38.000 I don't know if anybody's been following the blog, and Samantha is probably, she has more balls than any woman I have ever met, and she is a fierce Tiger-like ball of fire, and she is looking at me now like she's going to rip one of my legs off, or maybe both of my nuts. 1.00

00:32:54.000 I don't know. 0.98

00:32:54.000 How hot is Samantha on a 1 to 10? 0.98

00:32:56.000 Wait, she's a chance? 1.00

00:32:57.000 She's got balls? 1.00

00:32:58.000 No, he's just joking. 1.00

00:33:00.000 How hot is she on a 1 to 10? 1.00

00:33:02.000 That was my friend.

00:33:03.000 I'm sorry.

00:33:03.000 How hot is she?

00:33:04.000 I'm not talking about sexually. 1.00

00:33:06.000 I'm talking about just as a tiger, someone that you would never, ever want to fuck with. 0.99

00:33:11.000 So she's tough. 0.99

00:33:12.000 She's badass. 1.00

00:33:13.000 She's got more balls than me. 1.00

00:33:14.000 I see what you're saying. 0.99

00:33:15.000 Look, what you're trying to say is that even though money is an aphrodisiac, it's not like you don't have respect for women.

00:33:19.000 And you respect women very much.

00:33:22.000 I'm not saying that at all.

00:33:23.000 I do respect women.

00:33:24.000 I respect women tremendously.

00:33:25.000 But I'm also a realist.

00:33:26.000 I know what motivates people. 0.68

00:33:28.000 I'd be stupid if I didn't think that money might have something to do with young girls following me around, let's face it. 0.99

00:33:38.000 I will keep you on the phone as long as you need, sir. 0.53

00:33:44.000 We'll cool her down.

00:33:45.000 We'll calm her down.

00:33:46.000 Take deep breaths.

00:33:47.000 Do you want to say hi to her?

00:33:50.000 Okay, Brian does, sure.

00:33:51.000 We'll say hi to her for a moment.

00:33:54.000 Yeah, okay.

00:33:57.000 Hi, Samantha.

00:34:01.000 Hi.

00:34:01.000 How are you doing?

00:34:02.000 What's going on?

00:34:03.000 Are you ticklish?

00:34:05.000 Brian, settle down. 0.99

00:34:06.000 Sorry, my friend's retarded. 1.00

00:34:09.000 Are you a little bit angry? 0.78

00:34:12.000 Yeah.

00:34:13.000 Why are you angry?

00:34:15.000 Because of what John just said.

00:34:17.000 Because of what John just said?

00:34:18.000 I think what he said was fairly mild.

00:34:20.000 He was just saying that you're a very powerful person.

00:34:23.000 You've got a strong presence.

00:34:25.000 You're feisty.

00:34:26.000 You're feisty, yeah.

00:34:27.000 I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

00:34:29.000 You've got to give him some slack.

00:34:32.000 So, how long have you known John?

00:34:37.000 Over a year and a half now.

00:34:39.000 Over a year and a half?

00:34:39.000 Do you enjoy his company?

00:34:41.000 Would you be willing to endorse his character?

00:34:47.000 I enjoy being around him, yes.

00:34:51.000 You enjoy being around him?

00:34:52.000 That's good.

00:34:53.000 So you guys have a good relationship?

00:34:56.000 Yeah.

00:34:57.000 Excellent.

00:34:57.000 We have a good relationship.

00:34:58.000 Alright.

00:34:59.000 You're a fascinating person.

00:35:00.000 Can I talk to John again?

00:35:03.000 Yeah, sure.

00:35:03.000 Thank you, Samantha.

00:35:06.000 Thank you for that.

00:35:07.000 Oh, please.

00:35:08.000 She seems a bit calmer now.

00:35:09.000 Dude, she's a natural on radio. 0.99

00:35:11.000 She should have her own show. 0.96

00:35:14.000 I agree fully.

00:35:16.000 I want to get her on Howard Stern. 0.89

00:35:19.000 Someone on the block said...

00:35:29.000 Whoa, Jesus.

00:35:31.000 Howard's a married man.

00:35:32.000 How dare you, sir. 1.00

00:35:34.000 You are living that life that everybody would say, like, one day, man, fuck it, I just want to retire to some awesome country, live on the beach, and have lots of beautiful women around me. 1.00

00:35:44.000 That's you, man. 1.00

00:35:45.000 You're really doing that.

00:35:48.000 Well, I'm not doing it right now, sir.

00:35:50.000 I'm covered with insect bites, and I'm not exactly living the life I would like to live.

00:35:54.000 Well, you were.

00:35:55.000 No matter where you're living, I swear it has been improvement.

00:35:58.000 Well, I believe your situation right now is dire.

00:36:01.000 Before this, though, you were living this magical life of retirement fantasies, what men think of as like the perfect sort of a place to live as an expat.

00:36:12.000 Why did you decide to move to Belize?

00:36:16.000 It's the most beautiful country in the world.

00:36:18.000 I'm well-traveled.

00:36:19.000 I think there are few countries I have not visited, and Belize is the most beautiful.

00:36:24.000 The offshore reef allows me to have a dock right in front of my house with a boat.

00:36:28.000 You can't do that in Florida, New York, anywhere on the Pacific.

00:36:31.000 The water is aquamarine blue.

00:36:33.000 The weather is spectacular.

00:36:35.000 You're around.

00:36:36.000 The fishing is great.

00:36:36.000 The diving is great.

00:36:38.000 It's a beautiful country.

00:36:39.000 Did you have a bunch of friends that lived down there before you moved?

00:36:44.000 No, I also would not have moved here.

00:36:46.000 Really?

00:36:47.000 Why is that?

00:36:48.000 Oh, you wanted to get away?

00:36:50.000 Yeah, get away.

00:36:51.000 That's the whole key.

00:36:53.000 Now, what, if anything, did this have to do with...

00:36:56.000 You had a business in America for a while where you were doing some...

00:37:00.000 Explain what you were doing with airplanes.

00:37:02.000 There was some acrobatic sort of contest you guys were doing with planes.

00:37:07.000 What were you doing?

00:37:10.000 It was not a business at all.

00:37:11.000 I never took a dime.

00:37:12.000 I never made a dime.

00:37:13.000 In fact, I think I lost probably $10 million on that whole affair.

00:37:17.000 It was just for fun.

00:37:18.000 It was for myself.

00:37:19.000 My friends had enjoyed flying, and we flew these things called kite-wing airplanes.

00:37:25.000 I mean, they're real airplanes with instrumentation and real airplane engines, but they look like motorcycles with wings. 0.99

00:37:32.000 It is a kick in the ass. 0.99

00:37:34.000 And I promise you, if you've ever done it, you will get addicted. 1.00

00:37:36.000 Wow.

00:37:37.000 So for a few years, that's what I was doing.

00:37:40.000 And then what happened that led you to quit doing it?

00:37:44.000 Didn't someone die?

00:37:46.000 My nephew died and one of his passengers.

00:37:49.000 There's a lawsuit from that.

00:37:50.000 In fact, I've had more lawsuits than God.

00:37:54.000 Of everything from someone tripping over a log on my property and suing me for $10 million to a wrongful death from the passenger in my nephew's airplane.

00:38:03.000 Yeah, that is an unfortunate aspect of our society that people look at any sort of a situation where it involves dealing with a rich person as possibly an opportunity to hit the lottery.

00:38:14.000 You know, whether it's...

00:38:17.000 Altercations, physical altercations.

00:38:19.000 When a guy like you, you're obviously a very successful man and you become a target for shysters, right?

00:38:27.000 Basically, let me tell you, this is the strangest lawsuit.

00:38:29.000 I bought a house in Florida, put a down payment down, changed my mind a few days later and said, I'm declining the contract, keep the down payment.

00:38:38.000 I was sued for half a million dollars, even though two weeks later they resold the house for hundreds of thousands more than my contract.

00:38:46.000 And they sued me.

00:38:47.000 It's like, unbelievable.

00:38:50.000 They suffered no loss.

00:38:51.000 In fact, they suffered a tremendous gain by me canceling that contract.

00:38:55.000 It's a crazy world, my friend.

00:38:56.000 Yeah, it is a crazy world.

00:38:58.000 It's a crazy world and the legal system is most certainly not the most perfect setup.

00:39:03.000 But when you moved to Belize, were you aware of what their legal system was like?

00:39:12.000 Because you seem to be having a real hard time with the powers that be there. 0.82

00:39:16.000 Did you know that it was kind of fucking sketchy down there? 0.94

00:39:21.000 Well, of course I knew it was sketchy. 0.98

00:39:22.000 I didn't realize it was this sketchy.

00:39:24.000 I didn't realize that as a rich foreigner, you are obligated to pay your dues. 1.00

00:39:31.000 That is, you know, if you're going to donate money, I've donated more than $7 million worth of stuff in this country, but I did it in a way that the powers that be could not skim anything.

00:39:41.000 You know, I bought boots, for example, for every police officer in the Orange Walk District.

00:39:46.000 But I demanded an accounting.

00:39:48.000 Who gets which boots? 0.99

00:39:49.000 Now, what government official is going to be able to skim money off of that?

00:39:53.000 They say, well, give us the money and let us buy the boots.

00:39:55.000 Well, they would keep 99% and buy two pairs of boots.

00:39:58.000 This is how it works.

00:39:59.000 The rest would go to their families and in their own pockets.

00:40:02.000 Well, I don't play by those rules, and it pisses everybody off.

00:40:05.000 The government sent someone in for a donation.

00:40:08.000 This is prior to the last election. 0.99

00:40:11.000 When I heard the amount, I said, get the fuck off my property. 1.00

00:40:15.000 How much are they asking for? 0.99

00:40:20.000 Two million.

00:40:21.000 Two million dollars! 1.00

00:40:23.000 Jesus fucking Christ! 1.00

00:40:25.000 And this is for one term? 1.00

00:40:27.000 They were going to make my life better.

00:40:29.000 They were going to give me all sorts of preferences. 1.00

00:40:31.000 I didn't want to hear the fucking preferences. 1.00

00:40:33.000 Get the fuck off my property. 1.00

00:40:34.000 There is no argument. 1.00

00:40:35.000 There's no question.

00:40:36.000 There is no communication here. 1.00

00:40:37.000 Just get the fuck off. 1.00

00:40:38.000 They don't like that. 1.00

00:40:40.000 Just piss them off.

00:40:44.000 Yeah.

00:41:06.000 This is way below Banana Republic.

00:41:08.000 Keep in mind, police was founded by pirates, and it's still controlled by pirates.

00:41:13.000 Founded by pirates?

00:41:15.000 You rule through fear, and you collect debts through extortion.

00:41:19.000 This is the way life is.

00:41:20.000 But they can't extradite you to America?

00:41:23.000 Is that the case?

00:41:24.000 Like, if your lawsuits, do you have to go to America to deal with the lawsuits involving the plane crash?

00:41:32.000 No, of course not.

00:41:33.000 You know how the legal system works.

00:41:35.000 If anyone ever did get a judgment, which no one has out of all these lawsuits, all of them have failed, I will settle nothing for a dime.

00:41:43.000 I don't care if it costs me $10 million.

00:41:45.000 I will pay it.

00:41:46.000 I will fight it rather than give someone a single dime from suing me.

00:41:51.000 But if you ever do get a judgment, they can collect it anywhere.

00:41:54.000 This is the way the world works.

00:41:56.000 So if they did find you responsible, it wouldn't matter.

00:41:59.000 They would be able to get to you.

00:42:00.000 So it's not that you're in Belize for that reason.

00:42:02.000 Of course.

00:42:03.000 But how on earth can anybody...

00:42:05.000 Like the airplane lawsuit.

00:42:07.000 The airplane didn't belong to me.

00:42:08.000 I was not even there at the time.

00:42:10.000 Everything was kosher.

00:42:12.000 Accidents happen.

00:42:13.000 I'm sorry.

00:42:13.000 I lost a nephew in that crash.

00:42:15.000 I'm sorry that someone lost a father and a husband.

00:42:18.000 But it was an accident, for Christ's sakes.

00:42:21.000 No one is going to find me guilty. 0.97

00:42:23.000 It's ridiculous. 0.73

00:42:24.000 And this has been going on for seven years. 0.89

00:42:27.000 They just wear you down until you pay.

00:42:29.000 But I will never pay.

00:42:30.000 I will never settle.

00:42:31.000 I will fight this if it takes 50 years and cost me my last penny, because I will not.

00:42:35.000 I will not submit to extortion.

00:42:38.000 Well, it's kind of interesting that you would be held responsible for it when you think about the fact that who knows how many people die in motorcycle accidents every year.

00:42:46.000 And that's thought to be a respectable, normal activity, although very dangerous.

00:42:51.000 When people die in it, you don't go immediately looking for someone to sue because they were involved in a dangerous activity.

00:42:58.000 It's really weird to me.

00:43:00.000 I guarantee you would if it was owned by Bill Gates or Steve Jobs or Wozniak or me.

00:43:07.000 Absolutely you'd go after the person because that's what they do.

00:43:11.000 Exactly.

00:43:12.000 So now your situation is you're on the run, essentially.

00:43:16.000 Do you have official charges against you?

00:43:19.000 I have no charges whatsoever.

00:43:21.000 But you know they're looking for you.

00:43:24.000 However, I know how this system works.

00:43:27.000 After the questioning, I am detained.

00:43:29.000 They can legally detain you forever in this country with no charges.

00:43:33.000 And it's easy to make a charge because there's no law here.

00:43:37.000 Even though it's on the books, there is no real law.

00:43:40.000 The law is ruled by the powers in the party.

00:43:42.000 And so, you know, I'm not turning myself in for questioning.

00:43:44.000 If you want to question me, call me on the phone.

00:43:46.000 I'll be happy to talk to you.

00:43:47.000 I'll answer anything you want to know.

00:43:48.000 But yet you still plan on staying in Belize.

00:43:52.000 It's my home, sir.

00:43:53.000 I mean, maybe you don't understand that That when you love a country and you love the people, and you love where you are, it becomes your home.

00:44:02.000 So I don't care how bad it gets, I don't care how many nasty people show up at the top of the government, I will fight it.

00:44:08.000 I will fight it.

00:44:09.000 I will not leave.

00:44:10.000 Oh, I understand that that's your position, and I understand your passion.

00:44:15.000 It's just very unusual that someone would be willing to deal with such dangerous situations.

00:44:21.000 A lot of people would not have that sort of resolve in committing to a place to live.

00:44:29.000 Well, when you're 67, your future is very similar.

00:44:32.000 You don't have a lot to risk.

00:44:34.000 You say that, man, but you're going way out of your way to speak to people like myself, to speak to Alex Jones today, which I know you had a conversation with earlier, talking to people at Wired, telling your case.

00:44:45.000 You obviously have a vested interest in staying alive and a vested interest in telling the truth about your situation.

00:44:54.000 You're not a guy that's looking at the end.

00:44:58.000 No, I'm not, but I'll tell you one thing.

00:45:00.000 My most important point, and I'm going to say right now, is that three of my friends are in prison, and they have been in prison for going on three weeks because they could not get their hands on me.

00:45:11.000 Even if they do get their hands on me, those friends will stay in prison.

00:45:14.000 This is the way the system works.

00:45:16.000 This is unjust.

00:45:18.000 They have been charged with bogus charges.

00:45:20.000 If you go to my website, which is whoismcafee.com, again, whoismcafee.com, You will find email forms, email the prime minister, everybody is listed there, demand that these people get released.

00:45:37.000 This is injustice at the highest order.

00:45:39.000 I may be an old man, but they are all young men.

00:45:41.000 One of them is in his early twenties with a brand new baby.

00:45:44.000 His wife, by the way, was arrested and held for a week with a newborn baby before she was released.

00:45:51.000 You know, anybody who aids in the bedroom was arrested, a cab driver who helped me, he was arrested.

00:45:57.000 This is utterly, utterly absurd.

00:46:00.000 Because you are my friend, you are therefore arrested and punished.

00:46:03.000 And by the way, the prisons here are no joke.

00:46:06.000 There are no beds.

00:46:07.000 You have concrete floors.

00:46:08.000 There are no toilets.

00:46:09.000 There are no showers. 1.00

00:46:10.000 There is no fucking food. 0.99

00:46:12.000 So please, everyone, go to my site. 0.99

00:46:15.000 Whoismacafee.com.

00:46:16.000 Look at the form. 1.00

00:46:17.000 Mail these idiots and ask for something. 1.00

00:46:20.000 Release these people. 1.00

00:46:21.000 Is there a way to resolve this situation?

00:46:24.000 Is there a way in Belize?

00:46:26.000 The corruption that you're talking about sounds so overwhelming.

00:46:31.000 I mean, it seems like if you go there and fight it, it's almost like swimming into the ocean and hoping to hit land.

00:46:38.000 It's almost like an insurmountable task.

00:46:42.000 You would think so, sir, but 70% of this economy depends upon tourism.

00:46:47.000 Believe me, if the outside world gets pissed off enough, the government will listen.

00:46:53.000 If 70% of any economy disappears, that country collapses.

00:46:56.000 At some point, they will have to yield.

00:46:59.000 Or I will stay like this.

00:47:01.000 I will stay in hiding forever and I will continue to write forever.

00:47:04.000 Those are the only two options.

00:47:05.000 Well, I can certainly tell you this.

00:47:07.000 Listening to your story has made me not want to go on vacation there.

00:47:11.000 I would never go on vacation there. 1.00

00:47:13.000 Because if the shit hit the fan, it sounds like the place is controlled by fucking crazy people. 1.00

00:47:19.000 Well, it is controlled by crazy people. 1.00

00:47:21.000 And by the way, sir, I'm going to check to see whether you emailed something yourself.

00:47:25.000 And if not...

00:47:26.000 I'm going to come after you.

00:47:27.000 I am indeed.

00:47:28.000 I'm going to harass you with Lawrence Welk music outside your house for hours.

00:47:32.000 I don't understand.

00:47:33.000 What did you say?

00:47:34.000 If I did it?

00:47:35.000 He wants you to email me.

00:47:36.000 If you don't go on my blog and mail yourself, then I'm going to come after you and play bad music in front of your house forever.

00:47:44.000 Lawrence Welk was a wonderful man, and he played some beautiful music.

00:47:47.000 But not only that, we'll promote it.

00:47:50.000 Try listening to it for hours on end.

00:47:52.000 Isn't that how they got Noriega out? 0.99

00:47:54.000 Didn't they play Metallica or something like that?

00:47:57.000 I'm sorry, sir?

00:47:59.000 I said, isn't that how they got Noriega to come out of...

00:48:01.000 He was held up in the house when they finally arrested him?

00:48:05.000 They were playing Rolling Stones, Steve.

00:48:08.000 I don't think he liked Mick Jagger and his crowd.

00:48:23.000 I do indeed.

00:48:25.000 If I'm wrong, then I really am crazy.

00:48:28.000 So you believe that by exposing all this corruption, turning a lot of negative publicity on the way the government's run in Belize, this could hurt their economy and it could make them reconsider and become nice?

00:48:42.000 How's it going to get you back?

00:48:44.000 I'm sorry, but money does motivate people.

00:48:47.000 I believe you.

00:48:48.000 No, I certainly believe you.

00:48:50.000 But it seems like you're in a situation where you're dealing with so many dangerous folks. 0.95

00:48:55.000 I couldn't imagine you not wanting to just get the fuck out of there and maybe come back to America where our system of law is a little bit more obvious. 0.98

00:49:05.000 Okay, well, there are a couple of issues. 0.99

00:49:06.000 Number one, I'm traveling with a young woman whose life is in my hands and trying to get her out of the country with me or move with her would put her in danger.

00:49:16.000 She will not leave me.

00:49:17.000 I've tried threatening.

00:49:19.000 I've tried pleading.

00:49:21.000 All she says is, where you go, I go.

00:49:24.000 And she's threatened now to slash my throat in the middle of the night if I even suggest it again. 0.99

00:49:28.000 So I have her to think about.

00:49:33.000 Yeah.

00:49:33.000 Or don't be around people that are thinking about cutting you.

00:49:37.000 Yeah.

00:49:37.000 That's another option.

00:49:38.000 Yeah.

00:49:39.000 Obviously, that's just a figure of speech.

00:49:41.000 She's joking there, sir.

00:49:42.000 I did not in any way mean to imply that she would actually do it.

00:49:45.000 Oh, we know.

00:49:46.000 We know.

00:49:46.000 We were just joking around with you.

00:49:47.000 Maybe it was better the whole time.

00:49:48.000 Well, listen, man.

00:49:50.000 It's great that you have such a loyal companion.

00:49:52.000 My humor is stretched thin these days, so if I miss some of it, please forgive me.

00:49:56.000 It's great that you have such a loyal companion in this terrible time of crisis.

00:50:01.000 Now, how are you, I mean, without giving away your location and giving away your methods of concealment, can you tell us about how you're living?

00:50:13.000 Well, I'm not living very good.

00:50:15.000 Well, actually today I'm living really good.

00:50:18.000 I do manage to move from time to time.

00:50:20.000 I do get some warm showers.

00:50:22.000 Oh, by the way, until you lose everything, You have no clue what's truly valuable.

00:50:28.000 To me, number one, other than food, of course, hot showers. 0.99

00:50:32.000 You have no fucking clue what life is like without it. 0.98

00:50:36.000 So, we're living on hog today. 0.99

00:50:38.000 Now, you may think we're living in a hobble, but for today, I'm in hog heaven.

00:50:44.000 My life has not been exactly pleasant.

00:50:46.000 I've been moving frequently, sometimes every four hours, sometimes once a day.

00:50:51.000 Again, my biggest concern is making sure that Sam is safe.

00:50:56.000 Moving with Sam is a lot more difficult, of course, because people are looking for an elderly white man and a cute young girl.

00:51:04.000 Well, gee whiz. 0.99

00:51:05.000 You know, how hard is that to spot?

00:51:08.000 And yet we've managed for almost three weeks to obey the authorities, and I plan on continuing to do it until my dying day, if necessary.

00:51:16.000 So the idea is not to hole up until you get this resolved.

00:51:21.000 The idea is to just hole up to the end.

00:51:26.000 Well, when I get this resolved, if I get this resolved, that is the end.

00:51:30.000 Then I go home, Sam gets with me, and we go back to swimming and fishing and sitting in the sun.

00:51:37.000 Now, you've used a bunch of different elaborate disguises, too, that you were pretty open with, different things that you did to hide your appearance.

00:51:45.000 Yes.

00:51:46.000 What did you do?

00:51:48.000 Actually, I met the Financial Times reporter of Adam Thompson came.

00:51:54.000 He was actually going to come and stay with us for a length of time and chronicle our events, but he kind of freaked out after he got here and was seriously freaked out and begged to leave after four hours.

00:52:07.000 He did get four hours of tape interview and his story will appear in the London Financial Times on the 7th of December.

00:52:15.000 It should be a fascinating story.

00:52:17.000 I felt sorry for him.

00:52:19.000 I chose him because he was an objective writer. 0.98

00:52:22.000 It did not occur to me, and this is how stupid I am, that someone who was a financial reporter might not be suited for this life. 0.99

00:52:32.000 Wow. 0.99

00:52:33.000 So he, at least he hung in there for four days.

00:52:35.000 So he'll get an accurate assessment.

00:52:37.000 No, not a full day.

00:52:38.000 He hung in there for four hours.

00:52:40.000 Oh, for four hours.

00:52:41.000 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:52:42.000 What a pussy. 1.00

00:52:43.000 I wrote on the block at one point, Sam said, she really, I mean, she really ran over there, she said. 1.00

00:52:49.000 I'm a girl.

00:52:50.000 I'm small.

00:52:51.000 I'm 20 years old. 0.99

00:52:52.000 And I have more balls than you have. 1.00

00:52:55.000 And, you know, the poor bastard was really taken aback. 1.00

00:52:57.000 I laughed and said, don't worry about it. 1.00

00:52:59.000 She's got more balls than me, too. 0.99

00:53:01.000 You don't take it personally. 0.98

00:53:02.000 There's an e-book about you that started off as an article in Wired, but it became so interesting that this writer constructed an e-book, and they're selling it now, I believe, on Amazon, right?

00:53:17.000 Oh, yeah, Josh Davis, um...

00:53:19.000 Yeah, Josh is not one of my favorite people.

00:53:21.000 He made a story.

00:53:22.000 He called me to do a story about the arrest and the raid.

00:53:27.000 I said, okay, under this condition, if it devolves into a personality piece, I am not going to cooperate.

00:53:34.000 Because that's how people write about me, it's personality.

00:53:36.000 I do have an outside environment, which is interesting, but...

00:53:40.000 People prefer to write about whatever I am.

00:53:42.000 Well, you're an awesome personality.

00:53:44.000 I believe that you have all these other things.

00:53:46.000 You're an awesome personality.

00:53:47.000 Look, first of all, you're a very successful businessman.

00:53:50.000 You're obviously a very intelligent person, but let's be honest.

00:53:53.000 You're an awesome personality.

00:53:55.000 Did you say 67 years old?

00:53:58.000 You're 67 years old.

00:53:59.000 You live in the beach in Belize in this incredible compound with 11 dogs.

00:54:04.000 You have really hot girlfriends and the legend is you cook meth.

00:54:09.000 That's a fascinating story.

00:54:11.000 People would want to hear that.

00:54:12.000 Once they chip away at all that and get to who you really are...

00:54:16.000 You and I have an agreement.

00:54:17.000 But if you and I have an agreement, sir, up front going, this will not be a personality piece.

00:54:22.000 This will be a story about corruption and police, and it ends up being an e-book with me holding a shotgun shirtless. 1.00

00:54:29.000 Fuck me. 1.00

00:54:30.000 So, Josh is not my favorite person. 1.00

00:54:32.000 And in fact, halfway through it, I figured out what was going on. 0.99

00:54:35.000 So I go, you motherfuckers in my own mind. 0.99

00:54:38.000 I understand. 1.00

00:54:39.000 In my own story, and I even told him, you can ask him this, listen, I'm writing a story about you while you're writing a story about me.

00:54:46.000 Mine will come out first.

00:54:49.000 Well, I understand that what's really important to you is to get out the reality of the corruption in Belize, and that's what was important about...

00:54:57.000 But do you understand that more people are going to read that piece because they got a picture of you naked with a shotgun?

00:55:04.000 It's really hard to find pictures of me naked with a shotgun.

00:55:10.000 No, but I disagree, sir.

00:55:13.000 And this is why.

00:55:13.000 Because I think it turns eyes on it.

00:55:16.000 And your amazing personality is making people aware of this corruption.

00:55:21.000 That's how I'm becoming aware of it.

00:55:23.000 I wouldn't become aware of it if it wasn't for the fact that it makes for this sensational story.

00:55:27.000 We're good to go.

00:55:50.000 Through that, you can get your story and your information and what's really important for you to reveal this corruption.

00:55:58.000 But you have to understand that that makes it appealing.

00:56:02.000 That's what's exciting about it to people.

00:56:05.000 No, no, I understand that.

00:56:07.000 I understand that full well, and I am using that to the max.

00:56:10.000 However, that still does not excuse Josh from a personal perspective.

00:56:17.000 So Josh violated your trust.

00:56:21.000 Big time.

00:56:28.000 Big time.

00:56:30.000 So you're just not interested in revealing those aspects of your personal life, and you thought that by having him and having him over in confidence, he would not make it about that.

00:56:41.000 I did indeed.

00:56:42.000 I totally understand.

00:56:43.000 I had the agreement from him that it will not be a personality trait.

00:56:46.000 I totally understand that, sir.

00:56:48.000 Since it was, I folded it into everything. 0.90

00:56:51.000 I'm not a stupid person. 0.94

00:56:52.000 I'm foolish, I admit, but still a little bit clever. 0.97

00:56:55.000 I go, okay, this is what it is. 0.97

00:56:57.000 I'm going to just use you as a springboard, which I did.

00:57:00.000 Well, and I appreciate that you did do that.

00:57:02.000 So that's how I found out about your blog.

00:57:05.000 And I think that's one of the most beautiful things about this day and age is that a guy like you really cannot be misrepresented because you can represent yourself.

00:57:14.000 And you can put your own words down on a blog and have an answer for every question instead of just leaving things up to your accusers, especially in a situation like yours where you're on the run.

00:57:24.000 You still have the opportunity to put up your version of the things, word for word, exactly how you want it distributed.

00:57:33.000 And that's a rare thing about our time and this conversation that we're having right now.

00:57:38.000 Same thing.

00:57:39.000 You have a rare opportunity to state your case emphatically.

00:57:44.000 No, I agree, Paul.

00:57:45.000 And that's why I'm talking to you instead of CNN. CNN has been reaching out to me every single day.

00:57:51.000 And, you know, I've basically been telling them to fuck off. 0.99

00:57:55.000 The traditional press operates on the principle of let's use what's already been regurgitated and show a different light on that moment. 0.99

00:58:04.000 Here with you, I'm talking to you real time.

00:58:07.000 You have the resources, you have the access, And you have the viewership, the listenership, which is completely different.

00:58:17.000 I can talk to you and you can ask me anything.

00:58:19.000 I don't care what it is.

00:58:20.000 My sexual preferences is, you know, whatever.

00:58:23.000 Have I ever stolen as a child?

00:58:24.000 I don't care.

00:58:25.000 I will answer honestly.

00:58:35.000 Of course.

00:58:39.000 It's a dying method of getting information.

00:58:41.000 It just doesn't make sense.

00:58:43.000 The way it's broken up in commercials and designed to sandwich products in between that you don't want.

00:58:48.000 It's a dying way of distributing information.

00:58:51.000 It just doesn't hold up in the age of the internet.

00:58:54.000 But I think this is one of the rare cases as far as a big news story like yours where a guy gets to really tell his story to a bunch of different...

00:59:17.000 Yeah, it would have been a completely different story with a different ending.

00:59:36.000 We know, by the way, it was Michael Jackson who killed his wife.

00:59:38.000 I mean, if you can remember that far back, Michael Jackson and the young boy were headlines.

00:59:43.000 And then suddenly, everybody forgot about him and started looking at O.J. So, if you look at the motive, it had to be Michael Jackson.

00:59:50.000 That's hilarious.

00:59:52.000 I don't think that's correct, but I respect you putting it out there.

00:59:57.000 I think it's not correct, too, but it was a joke, sir.

00:59:59.000 I know it was a joke, man. 0.66

01:00:00.000 I'm reacting to it as if I'm retarded. 0.99

01:00:03.000 Bobo killed it. 0.75

01:00:04.000 Where was the monkey?

01:00:04.000 My apologies.

01:00:06.000 No, no worries, man.

01:00:08.000 Are you comfortable with this position of being this guy who's on the run and being this guy who's accused of a horrible crime and having this really crazy wild lifestyle?

01:00:23.000 Are you enjoying this stage of your life other than the fact that you're on the run?

01:00:29.000 Good God, no.

01:00:30.000 I mean, this is one of the worst points of my life.

01:00:33.000 Absolutely not.

01:00:34.000 But I'm not backing off from anything.

01:00:36.000 It's not something that is going to deter me from continuing.

01:00:40.000 I mean, I would much rather have the freedom of movement.

01:00:43.000 I'd like to jump in my pool and sun myself and sit at the end of the dock and throw a fishing line in the water or just get in the boat and bob around for a while.

01:00:51.000 But no, this is not something I'm comfortable with.

01:00:55.000 It's something I'm coping with.

01:00:57.000 There's a difference.

01:00:57.000 How many people have a negative reaction to your lifestyle, the lifestyle that you were leading before you got into trouble with the Belize government?

01:01:05.000 The older guy with the young chicks partying all the time? 0.99

01:01:10.000 Well, I would say 90%.

01:01:11.000 The older guy with the young chicks, he says the partying all the time did not exist.

01:01:16.000 Not the way people think there was partying. 1.00

01:01:18.000 Okay, so, I mean, even just hanging out with a 20-year-old naked, that shit's partying. 0.99

01:01:23.000 That's how I look at it. 1.00

01:01:24.000 I want to party with you.

01:01:25.000 I don't mean partying by, like, the drugs that you were trolling people on taking.

01:01:30.000 I don't mean to imply that.

01:01:32.000 But I mean to imply that you're living, like, a pretty festive lifestyle down there.

01:01:38.000 Well, I was enjoying it, but I still enjoyed it a little bit here.

01:01:43.000 Was there blowback from the locals at all? 0.87

01:01:47.000 How do they feel about this older rich guy moving in and banging all these young hotties? 0.99

01:01:53.000 Well, I think the men, by and large, would like to figure out how I did it. 0.94

01:01:58.000 The women hated it. 1.00

01:02:01.000 They would look at me and then they would imagine their husbands in the same situation and suddenly I was the devil incarnate. 0.99

01:02:09.000 Yeah, isn't it funny that people give a shit about what you can pull off? 0.99

01:02:12.000 You know, like, shouldn't you be happy when you see a guy who's in his 60s who's managed to pick up some 20-year-old hot chicks? 0.99

01:02:18.000 Shouldn't everybody be happy that that's possible?

01:02:21.000 Why does one man success?

01:02:24.000 Well, I'm happy when I see anybody enjoying themselves and being happy because, my God, you know, the person next to you is just like yourself.

01:02:32.000 You know, we're not as separate as you think.

01:02:34.000 We are all each other.

01:02:36.000 And so the rational and sane person with a heart is always happy when they see another person happy.

01:02:42.000 That's why we smile when other people smile.

01:02:45.000 Yeah, what is it about other people's success that for some reason with weak-minded people, somehow or another they feel like it's taking away from them?

01:02:52.000 They want to attack you.

01:02:53.000 They want to attack you for your success.

01:02:55.000 A 67-year-old guy that can bang 20-year-old girls wins everywhere in the world.

01:03:00.000 Is there any protection that the U.S. offers in a situation like this?

01:03:04.000 Can you go to the embassy or whatever?

01:03:07.000 Yeah, that's a good question.

01:03:10.000 Of course I can go to the embassy.

01:03:11.000 The problem is...

01:03:12.000 Everybody has a false idea of how much power an embassy has.

01:03:17.000 It is a tiny little building in a foreign country.

01:03:21.000 I could go to the embassy.

01:03:23.000 There are two options afterwards.

01:03:24.000 I'd have to stay there forever, like Julian Asanga, or leave the embassy and face immediate arrest.

01:03:31.000 The embassy isn't going to go, hey, let this man out of prison. 0.66

01:03:34.000 They're going to say, F you!

01:03:37.000 You're a man of considerable resources.

01:03:39.000 I would think that a guy with your kind of wealth would at least be able to arrange for some sort of legal meeting with someone in the United States to help you get back.

01:03:51.000 Has that been done at all?

01:03:53.000 Well, you're assuming I want to get back, but as I stated earlier, I don't want to get back.

01:03:58.000 Even just to get to safety?

01:03:59.000 I do not want to leave.

01:04:00.000 Even just to get to safety?

01:04:01.000 I mean, while you're on the run?

01:04:02.000 You would rather stay on the run in Belize than be comfortable in America?

01:04:07.000 Just sort things out?

01:04:08.000 I don't think I'm going to be on the run forever.

01:04:11.000 In fact, I seriously do not think I'm going to be on the run for much longer.

01:04:15.000 What's the plan?

01:04:16.000 You know, the government is not stupid, and I know for a fact that tourism has to have been impacted by this affair, and not in a positive way, sir.

01:04:25.000 And given the fact that tourism is 70% of the economy, I believe that eventually common sense will prevail.

01:04:32.000 I really do.

01:04:33.000 And some accommodation will be reached.

01:04:37.000 So, do they have other suspects, or do you know what's going on with the case of the guy who was murdered?

01:04:45.000 Well, if they have other suspects, I don't think they're pursuing them.

01:04:49.000 You know, they still have not named me as the suspect.

01:04:51.000 They just named me as someone they want to talk to.

01:04:53.000 But this is police.

01:04:55.000 The last person who gave himself in for talking was a guy named Arthur Young.

01:05:00.000 They handcuffed his hands behind his back and shot him 14 times in a police van because they claimed, with his hands handcuffed behind his back, he attempted to wrestle a weapon away from one of the 10 officers in there with him.

01:05:13.000 Now, please, get a clue, people.

01:05:15.000 But yet you still want to live there.

01:05:18.000 This is amazing that you think that this can be worked out.

01:05:22.000 Because the officers themselves are not to blame.

01:05:25.000 I'm not trying to blast the entire police department.

01:05:29.000 The average police policeman has a heart and is a decent person.

01:05:33.000 They're paid less than a dollar an hour, for Christ's sake.

01:05:36.000 So obviously they're going to be corrupt, not corrupt to the point that they have to augment their income in some fashion.

01:05:43.000 It's not the police.

01:05:44.000 It's a very few highly, very powerful, highly placed officials who are very powerful who have bled this country dry.

01:05:53.000 This is the problem, sir.

01:05:54.000 And I know for a fact that people can be removed from office.

01:05:59.000 That's what I was just going to say. 1.00

01:06:01.000 You're such a bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:06:02.000 Why don't you just run Belize? 1.00

01:06:04.000 You'll love it.

01:06:05.000 It's a great place.

01:06:06.000 I don't want to run Belize.

01:06:07.000 I don't want any power.

01:06:09.000 I want to fish and play and sun myself and enjoy my friendships.

01:06:14.000 And do it as the king of Belize.

01:06:16.000 No?

01:06:27.000 Mr. McAfee, I'm joking.

01:06:31.000 I don't really think that you could ever be the king of Belize.

01:06:34.000 Just joking, sir.

01:06:35.000 No, I understand that, but keep in mind, my humor may be stretched a little thin due to my circumstances and lack of sleep.

01:06:42.000 Oh, absolutely.

01:06:43.000 Oh, please.

01:06:43.000 You have been an amazing interview, and your character holds strong in this terrible situation that you find yourself in.

01:06:53.000 Keep it together admirably.

01:06:55.000 It was very good talking to you.

01:06:56.000 I really appreciate you taking the time and using your cell phone credits.

01:07:01.000 Okay.

01:07:02.000 And before you leave, let me interrupt you.

01:07:06.000 Whoismacafee.com?

01:07:08.000 Whoismacafee.com?

01:07:09.000 And our Twitter site is Official McAfee.

01:07:12.000 And McAfee, for the folks who don't know, is spelled M-C-A-F-E-E. M-C-A-F-E-E. Thank you very much.

01:07:19.000 So I thought it was McAfee all these years.

01:07:22.000 I called it McAfee over and over again.

01:07:24.000 It's McAfee.

01:07:25.000 Sorry about that.

01:07:26.000 Well, that's what my father said, so that's what I believe.

01:07:29.000 Listen, it's an honor to talk to you, sir.

01:07:31.000 I wish you all the best of luck down there, and I hope you can find safety and security and everything works out.

01:07:39.000 Thank you very much, Joe.

01:07:53.000 Holla! 1.00

01:07:53.000 What was that like, Brian? 1.00

01:07:56.000 That was interesting.

01:07:57.000 Fascinating, right?

01:07:58.000 Yeah, I think it's really silly that he wants to stay there, though. 0.99

01:08:01.000 If I was him, I'd get the fuck out of there, deal with it from afar using lawyers or some other kind of way, and then return there when you can. 0.97

01:08:12.000 Because it seems like it just doesn't seem smart just to... 0.98

01:08:15.000 Well, it was very, it was like, conflicted. 0.99

01:08:18.000 Because he would tell you that it's so corrupt, and it's fucked up, and they murder people, and you turn yourself in, they shoot you in the van. 0.99

01:08:24.000 Right. 0.99

01:08:25.000 And then he's like, but it is my home, and those people don't make a dollar an hour. 1.00

01:08:28.000 And it's like, they don't make a dollar an hour, so it's okay that they shoot people in a fucking van? 1.00

01:08:32.000 Like, what's going on here? 0.99

01:08:33.000 Like, he's all over the road.

01:08:35.000 And if that girl really said he was just going to slice her throat, she probably murdered the guy. 1.00

01:08:39.000 Okay. 0.89

01:08:39.000 You know? 0.89

01:08:40.000 She's like, well, this is money.

01:08:41.000 I'm not letting anyone get involved with this guy, you know?

01:08:44.000 Right.

01:08:44.000 Like, he poisoned his dogs?

01:08:45.000 All right, bitch. 1.00

01:08:46.000 I'll go over and shoot you in the fucking head. 1.00

01:08:48.000 And poisoning, like, I want to know the dog... 1.00

01:08:50.000 I don't believe that the girl did it, though.

01:08:52.000 Yeah, I don't either.

01:08:53.000 But I want to know, like, the dog being poisoned and, like, this guy that has been shot, is there any DNA going on?

01:08:59.000 Is there any...

01:09:00.000 Well, actually, that's a good point.

01:09:01.000 I'll answer that.

01:09:03.000 There's one way to tell is they actually, when the guy was shot, they have a ballistics on the bullet, and then when the dogs were poisoned, McAfee had to put the dogs down.

01:09:14.000 So they actually dug up the dogs, cut the dogs' heads off, And they took the dogs' heads to forensics labs.

01:09:20.000 So they were trying to prove that the bullets that killed the guy are the same that killed the dogs, which would mean that McAfee...

01:09:26.000 But they haven't been able to do that.

01:09:28.000 And if they did, that would be, like, big news.

01:09:31.000 See, they can't fake that kind of science.

01:09:34.000 If McAfee has the gun, you can't...

01:09:36.000 That's ballistics.

01:09:37.000 You couldn't rig ballistics.

01:09:39.000 People would say, well, can we see the bullet?

01:09:41.000 What did you do?

01:09:42.000 Let's see the physical evidence.

01:09:44.000 Is there one hair of his at this guy's house?

01:09:47.000 Well, you know, it could be that he visited the guy.

01:09:48.000 That doesn't mean anything either.

01:09:49.000 They're neighbors, and they did have a dispute, so they did communicate.

01:09:53.000 But, you know, the other thing that I didn't buy was when he said that people who are dog lovers would never poison a dog. 1.00

01:09:58.000 There's some sociopathic assholes out there. 1.00

01:10:00.000 Oh, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:10:00.000 That's not true. 1.00

01:10:01.000 That's crazy. 1.00

01:10:01.000 There's people that want their sleep and they're like, fuck it, I'm going to poison his dogs. 1.00

01:10:04.000 There's definitely people who have dogs who will poison your dogs. 1.00

01:10:08.000 That I didn't...

01:10:09.000 But the other thing is, like, he knows way too much about drugs.

01:10:13.000 I've never done drugs.

01:10:15.000 That was nuts.

01:10:16.000 What he's telling us, all the different compounds and the sexual hype stuff.

01:10:20.000 If you read the stuff online, folks, I think he said it's bluelight.com.

01:10:26.000 Let me Google it for you on Blue Light. 0.89

01:10:31.000 I don't know if it's true, but it is fucking fascinating. 1.00

01:10:35.000 The story of this guy cooking this shit up I mean, he says it's just horse shit. 1.00

01:10:44.000 He says he was fucking around and trolling. 1.00

01:10:47.000 Which I believe. 0.99

01:10:48.000 That dude could probably hack our computers.

01:10:50.000 I bet he could.

01:10:51.000 McAfee, come on. 0.97

01:10:52.000 And by the way, he obviously is a troll a little bit. 1.00

01:10:58.000 He does fuck around with people. 1.00

01:10:59.000 This whole thing could be a troll. 1.00

01:11:01.000 No, I don't think it is.

01:11:02.000 They're really looking for him.

01:11:04.000 But the yoga thing, you know?

01:11:06.000 If it was a troll, it's a brilliant way to start up maybe just a blog, to get people to listen and read his blog. 0.99

01:11:13.000 I bet millions of people are reading his fucking blog. 0.99

01:11:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:11:16.000 But Voodoo Chicken is the first guy who turned me on to it, and he put it on the Rogan board, and I read his take on it, and I was like, this is fucking bananas. 0.99

01:11:27.000 Like, this guy, if he really was doing that, was hyper-concentrating this drug, whatever the fuck it is, that makes you ridiculously hypersexual, you know? 1.00

01:11:40.000 And then taking it and fucking his 17-year-old girlfriend... 1.00

01:11:45.000 But the thing is, he does have a 17-year-old girlfriend. 1.00

01:11:48.000 At least he did have a 17-year-old girlfriend when he was doing this.

01:11:50.000 Now he's got a 20-year-old.

01:11:52.000 She's 20?

01:11:53.000 The new girl's 20?

01:11:53.000 The one who wanted to cut him into sleep.

01:11:55.000 She's 20. Just joked about cutting him into sleep, rather.

01:11:59.000 So he is obviously a little twisted.

01:12:03.000 Just period.

01:12:04.000 Sir?

01:12:05.000 Sir?

01:12:06.000 Nothing wrong with it.

01:12:06.000 Sir?

01:12:07.000 Nothing wrong with it.

01:12:08.000 Nothing wrong with it.

01:12:09.000 I mean, but he's, you know, he's acting as if he's all respectable and everything, but he's still banging 17-year-olds. 0.94

01:12:17.000 Like, he's not, I'm not saying that he's doing those drugs, but at least he knows a shitload about those drugs, he knows enough to talk about it, and he's banging a 17-year-old.

01:12:27.000 And if you're really rich and your neighbor's dogs are barking a lot.

01:12:31.000 Yeah, well...

01:12:33.000 See, that's just speculation. 0.99

01:12:35.000 Who knows what the fuck? 0.99

01:12:38.000 You know, who knows? 0.99

01:12:39.000 When it comes to that, who knows whether or not the guy poisoned his dog.

01:12:44.000 But I do know that...

01:12:46.000 You know, McAfee's... 0.99

01:12:47.000 He's out there having a great fucking time. 0.99

01:12:49.000 I don't think he's being completely honest about that whole drug thing. 1.00

01:12:52.000 He knows too much about that shit. 1.00

01:12:54.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:12:55.000 Who knows?

01:12:57.000 Maybe he is just trying to make boner pills.

01:13:00.000 I don't think that's what he's saying, though.

01:13:02.000 It doesn't give you boners. 0.62

01:13:03.000 It just makes you really horny. 0.99

01:13:06.000 It makes you rub yourself. 0.98

01:13:08.000 People were rubbing themselves raw, he was saying.

01:13:10.000 That was his description of it. 0.99

01:13:12.000 Which, again, could be fucking trolling. 0.99

01:13:14.000 It could be trolling. 0.99

01:13:15.000 I wish it wasn't, though.

01:13:16.000 It's much more fun to think that it's just some nutty, true story.

01:13:22.000 I don't know, man.

01:13:23.000 The guy is quite a character.

01:13:27.000 But it's funny because he's not willing to... 0.99

01:13:30.000 He was upset that this guy had written this piece about him that made him out to be this wild fucking maniac. 0.99

01:13:39.000 But yet he's walking around shirtless with a fucking shotgun while they're taking pictures. 0.99

01:13:44.000 It's really hard to find pictures of you shirtless with a shotgun. 1.00

01:13:48.000 Shirtless, just period.

01:13:50.000 Yeah, but shirtless with a shotgun.

01:13:53.000 I keep my shirt on in the shower.

01:13:56.000 It's impossible to find a photo of you shirtless with a shotgun unless you're shirtless with a shotgun.

01:14:02.000 Yeah, and you own a shotgun.

01:14:04.000 Well, he does living in Belize, man.

01:14:07.000 Yeah. 0.94

01:14:08.000 It's silly.

01:14:09.000 If you're living anywhere where you need a shotgun, it's probably not the most amazing place. 0.63

01:14:14.000 Like, what?

01:14:15.000 I have a dock in front of my house?

01:14:16.000 Well, you can have a dock in front of your house in Ohio, you know?

01:14:19.000 In front of a lake.

01:14:21.000 Wow.

01:14:22.000 Whatever. 0.99

01:14:23.000 So, my internet problem over at my office sucks a fatty. 1.00

01:14:29.000 DSL. This is all I can get there, apparently. 0.94

01:14:31.000 No, you can definitely get some kind of cable solution.

01:14:34.000 I don't know.

01:14:34.000 It doesn't seem like they have it.

01:14:36.000 T5, T7. You might have to get something else, like a T3 or some shit. 0.52

01:14:39.000 T7. I don't even know how those work.

01:14:41.000 I don't think of those installed.

01:14:42.000 I don't know what it is.

01:14:43.000 Those are expensive. 1.00

01:14:44.000 Stupid. 1.00

01:14:45.000 Stupid. 1.00

01:14:46.000 I'm in a bad spot. 1.00

01:14:47.000 No, you can get cable.

01:14:49.000 I'm sure there's a Time Warner or a charter.

01:14:51.000 But 4G internet, you can't do. 0.99

01:14:54.000 Like from cell phones and shit? 1.00

01:14:56.000 That's silly. 0.99

01:14:57.000 That's not strong enough? 0.61

01:14:57.000 No, and you'll run out of bandwidth immediately. 0.61

01:15:00.000 Right. 1.00

01:15:00.000 They would fuck you with that, too. 1.00

01:15:02.000 Isn't it funny how you can use all the bandwidth you want if you have an internet connection, but if you have a cellular internet connection, that shit's capped like a motherfucker. 1.00

01:15:10.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:15:10.000 It's not ready yet. 0.99

01:15:11.000 Well, you're just sharing it with too many.

01:15:13.000 If everyone was doing that, no one would have any...

01:15:15.000 Why would they be selling it to so many people if they don't have access for that many people?

01:15:19.000 They don't have access for people streaming Netflix.

01:15:22.000 Like, if everyone was streaming Netflix and doing video conferencing at the same...

01:15:25.000 That would be just ridiculous.

01:15:25.000 I don't think they should give you an open-ended device like a phone that has internet access on it and say you can only use it a certain amount.

01:15:32.000 I think that's stupid. 0.99

01:15:34.000 I think that to me... 1.00

01:15:36.000 And if everybody uses it at the same time, it doesn't work, then you're selling too many phones.

01:15:40.000 Because you don't have the backbone to deal with it.

01:15:42.000 Well, most of the time, most people aren't using it, so that's how we have it set up.

01:15:45.000 No, no.

01:15:46.000 That's like saying that you're going to put all your money in the bank, and then the bank only has like half your money there.

01:15:53.000 And then when people want it all at once, well, we don't have it. 1.00

01:15:55.000 Well, that's stupid. 1.00

01:15:56.000 What'd you do with my fucking money, you cunt? 1.00

01:15:58.000 They don't... 1.00

01:15:59.000 That's a bad analogy.

01:16:00.000 But... 0.97

01:16:02.000 Point stands, you shouldn't be selling a fucking cell phone with internet on it until you have the backbone to give everybody internet if they use it all at once. 0.97

01:16:12.000 That's how it should be. 0.99

01:16:14.000 It should be that everyone with a fucking cell phone can use it at an end time, all day long. 0.99

01:16:18.000 Every fucking cell phone could be downloading something big at the same time. 1.00

01:16:22.000 That's when you're ready. 1.00

01:16:23.000 That's when you're ready to sell it, you fuckheads. 1.00

01:16:25.000 They're selling it when it's not ready. 1.00

01:16:26.000 They're selling you some shit that's not quite there. 0.98

01:16:29.000 It's like, well, it's experimental. 0.99

01:16:30.000 It's almost there.

01:16:31.000 We're calling it 4G, but everybody can't use it at the same time.

01:16:34.000 So would you rather them not give it to us at all? 0.99

01:16:37.000 I'd rather them get their shit together. 1.00

01:16:39.000 Those motherfuckers. 1.00

01:16:41.000 This guy's... 1.00

01:16:42.000 McAfee's down there.

01:16:43.000 I guess he's using...

01:16:45.000 I don't know what kind of phone he's using.

01:16:46.000 Probably bank robber phones.

01:16:47.000 Yeah.

01:16:47.000 Those portable ones that dudes get when they...

01:16:50.000 Well, wait.

01:16:51.000 He probably has satellite...

01:16:52.000 He's probably got...

01:16:53.000 You know, the dude from Virgin probably dropped him on creative satellite phones.

01:16:56.000 I wonder if he has any friends down there.

01:16:58.000 That's what's really interesting.

01:16:59.000 Or powerful friends.

01:17:00.000 I wonder how he's doing it.

01:17:02.000 It seems...

01:17:02.000 I mean, I did want to ask him how he's hiding, but he was pretty...

01:17:06.000 Open about certain aspects of it in other interviews, about coloring his face, like with shoe polish and shit, and putting stuff in his mouth to make it look like he's fat. 0.99

01:17:17.000 Well, I'm thinking that he was just straight up dressed up as a girl. 0.99

01:17:20.000 You know, I was thinking that.

01:17:21.000 That's a good move.

01:17:21.000 Yeah.

01:17:22.000 But that would be obvious.

01:17:23.000 Not really. 0.99

01:17:23.000 I mean, his girlfriend has balls. 0.99

01:17:25.000 She just has balls in her personality, Brian. 1.00

01:17:29.000 You fucking 12-year-old. 1.00

01:17:31.000 How dare you? 1.00

01:17:32.000 That would be funny if she had real balls. 1.00

01:17:34.000 That's got to suck though to be like almost 70 years old and fucking hiding. 1.00

01:17:38.000 Yeah, but it's also, come on man, just get out of there. 1.00

01:17:42.000 Are you being silly? 0.93

01:17:43.000 If you're living in a country that has those kind of laws, like the laws where they can arrest you for life, you don't want to live in that country. 0.98

01:17:49.000 Because if you do one thing wrong with it, you're going to go to prison.

01:17:52.000 It might be pretty outside, but you have to live in some kind of safe, no bullshit kind of government thing.

01:17:59.000 There has to be laws.

01:18:00.000 Yeah, I couldn't rock that.

01:18:01.000 I couldn't live down there where you gotta worry about being locked up.

01:18:06.000 That's almost ego for him staying there.

01:18:07.000 Well, he's obviously got a big ego.

01:18:09.000 He's a super successful guy.

01:18:10.000 All those super successful billionaire characters, they all have strong egos. 1.00

01:18:14.000 They all think they're bad motherfuckers. 1.00

01:18:16.000 They are. 1.00

01:18:16.000 That's how they got to be where they are. 1.00

01:18:18.000 And then they see all these monkeys that are asking him for millions of dollars and like, bitch, he ain't running me out of town. 0.99

01:18:22.000 That's where I live. 0.98

01:18:23.000 He's got his house there.

01:18:24.000 That's where he lives. 0.99

01:18:25.000 When you live somewhere for five fucking years, that is where you live. 0.99

01:18:29.000 But two million bucks, man? 0.99

01:18:30.000 They're asking for two million bucks? 0.99

01:18:33.000 That's gotta suck. 0.97

01:18:34.000 Someone knocks on your door and they ask you for two million dollars. 0.99

01:18:36.000 You're like, what? 0.99

01:18:38.000 Two million dollars is a lot of fucking money, even for a billionaire, to give to some political douche rag in a crazy little island that was founded by pirates. 0.99

01:18:49.000 I wonder what's going to happen here. 0.99

01:18:50.000 You know, you do that Ice House game where you watch a video and you pause it.

01:18:54.000 What happens next?

01:18:55.000 You pause it and you say, what happens next?

01:18:56.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:18:57.000 And then you do a bunch of really fucked up endings to videos. 0.58

01:19:01.000 If you had to do that with this, if you had to pause this right now and say, what happens next, what would be your guess? 0.87

01:19:08.000 He gets arrested.

01:19:09.000 You think so?

01:19:10.000 Yeah.

01:19:10.000 Why do you think so?

01:19:12.000 Well, I mean, it's just getting sloppy for him, I think.

01:19:16.000 Unless Belich has a donkey in their government office, just sitting there with a bucket, a donkey, and they're like, alright, let's find this guy.

01:19:26.000 I don't know how, is this place high-tech at all?

01:19:29.000 Do they have a real government?

01:19:30.000 Do they have a real...

01:19:31.000 You know, like, FBI-type thing going on there?

01:19:34.000 That's a good question.

01:19:35.000 I don't even know how big Belize is.

01:19:36.000 Yeah, like, it could be, like, the whole, you know, people looking for him could be, like, two guys in a jeep, you know?

01:19:42.000 Yeah, that's true, right?

01:19:44.000 It could be, like, the Iraqi army before he invaded...

01:19:47.000 Yeah.

01:19:48.000 Just listening to this whole interview, I heard sounds in the background.

01:19:54.000 At one point, it sounded like somebody was tapping a bowl out.

01:19:58.000 I heard what sounded like a dog at one point.

01:20:01.000 If there was a guy really looking for this person, I'm sure they could probably decipher background noises in interviews and IP addresses.

01:20:11.000 Really?

01:20:13.000 That phone number that he called from has to have an IP address or some kind of, like, you know, it's using a cell phone tower.

01:20:19.000 And this place isn't, you know...

01:20:21.000 He's a clever guy, though.

01:20:22.000 I'm sure he's masking it somehow.

01:20:24.000 It must be satellite.

01:20:25.000 Well, he's on the ball as far as, like, technology is concerned.

01:20:29.000 I bet being a virus...

01:20:33.000 The manufacturer of virus software, one of the biggest virus software companies on the planet, that guy must be so technologically literate.

01:20:43.000 He must know how to mask things and hide things.

01:20:47.000 I wonder how much McAfee and Norton created virus in the 90s and 2000s.

01:20:52.000 They created a company.

01:20:55.000 I mean, if you think about it, it's like, hey, there's these things called viruses, see?

01:20:58.000 And we have the way to stop them, you know?

01:21:01.000 I actually never considered that, but that would be good business. 1.00

01:21:04.000 Fuck yeah. 0.99

01:21:04.000 That would be smart business if you could do that. 0.99

01:21:07.000 He probably is trolling all of us with this virus shit. 0.99

01:21:12.000 He invented viruses, came up with virus protection software. 1.00

01:21:16.000 Yeah, he's a badass motherfucker. 1.00

01:21:18.000 Yeah, bath salts and 17-year-olds. 1.00

01:21:21.000 This drug, I want to know more about this fucking drug, because I've never heard of it before, this situation, because I'd never known that there was anything that makes you hypersexual. 1.00

01:21:40.000 Well, those dick pills I take... 1.00

01:21:44.000 Yeah, but those just make your dick hard, right? 1.00

01:21:46.000 They make it not go away, though. 1.00

01:21:48.000 They make you not be able to cum. 0.58

01:21:51.000 Oh, really? 0.82

01:21:52.000 Yeah, and it's just like, all right, I have a...

01:21:54.000 What?

01:21:54.000 Well, I've been doing a lot of research on them lately, and what happens is...

01:21:59.000 The first couple hours you take them, you can get hard quick and it's like it lasts a little long, but you can come on it. 0.98

01:22:07.000 But if you try to fuck like six hours later, it's like you have a morning boner that won't go away and you can't come at all. 1.00

01:22:14.000 What is in it that makes your dick hard? 1.00

01:22:15.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:22:16.000 I think it's ants.

01:22:17.000 It's something extracted from ants and it's called Hot Rod 5000. It really works, but it really works.

01:22:25.000 I recommend it for special occasions, but that shit's rough. 1.00

01:22:29.000 When you have a hard-on that won't stop, when you can't cum, it's great if you have a 17-year-old girl and you're running away doing yoga, and you're fucking her in a gutter. 1.00

01:22:42.000 Yeah, I don't know. 0.99

01:22:43.000 See, this thing about McAfee, I don't know how much of it is really trolling, or if he ever did do this stuff.

01:22:53.000 Yeah, I mean, it's pretty funny that it's McAfee. 0.54

01:22:56.000 I mean, the whole thing sounds like a humongous troll.

01:22:58.000 I mean, I haven't done any research, so I have no idea if any of this is true.

01:23:02.000 But what if it was, you know, just... 0.80

01:23:04.000 Dude, that's a great troll. 0.73

01:23:06.000 It's amazing. 0.85

01:23:07.000 What if it's Norton?

01:23:09.000 Wow.

01:23:10.000 Wow.

01:23:12.000 Yeah, I don't know, man.

01:23:14.000 The whole thing, this MDPV. Have you ever heard of this before?

01:23:17.000 No.

01:23:18.000 It's recently banned in the U.S., but it's legal in Belize.

01:23:21.000 It belongs to a class of drugs called cathinones, a natural source of which is...

01:23:29.000 The East African plant CAT. You know what K-H-A-T is? 0.99

01:23:32.000 That's that shit that those guys take, the Somali pirates. 1.00

01:23:36.000 They chew this stuff called CAT. And it's like an amphetamine. 1.00

01:23:40.000 They chew it and they fucking go berserker. 0.99

01:23:43.000 If the fact that it's called CAT just makes me think this is more of a troll. 0.99

01:23:46.000 No, no, no.

01:23:47.000 The actual drug is a long...

01:23:49.000 It's more of a joke, right?

01:23:52.000 More evidence of simulation theory. 1.00

01:23:55.000 MDPV is serious shit to explain his paranoia. 0.99

01:23:58.000 So one of them on the website wrote his paranoia and erraticness. 1.00

01:24:03.000 I've been through that.

01:24:04.000 I played with MDPV for about two weeks.

01:24:06.000 Then I started seeing shadow people in the corner of my eye and what amphetamine heads called tree cops. 0.97

01:24:12.000 It's essentially really fucked up meth. 0.72

01:24:16.000 I forgot to ask him about this.

01:24:19.000 He had some thing where he called into a guy from I think it was a guy from Wired that he was talking to.

01:24:26.000 It might have been this Josh guy that he hates now.

01:24:29.000 And told him that the cops were outside and that there was like 30 of them standing on the beach outside of his condo.

01:24:36.000 And he couldn't move because they would shoot him.

01:24:38.000 So he just stood there and they stood there and no one said anything for hours.

01:24:43.000 And they went away at like 4 o'clock in the morning. 0.84

01:24:45.000 And he's like, it was fucking really weird. 0.84

01:24:47.000 Really weird. 0.78

01:24:48.000 And so to escape, he climbed into his neighbor's balcony.

01:24:53.000 And his neighbor found him covered in his own urine.

01:24:56.000 What?

01:24:57.000 That's the official story.

01:24:58.000 Asleep and pissed all over himself.

01:25:00.000 That's the story.

01:25:02.000 Now whether or not...

01:25:03.000 I wanted to ask him whether or not that was true.

01:25:06.000 Because if he was suffering from extreme paranoia and this statement that he gave explaining that these cops were out there and they were just standing there staring at him and no one said anything...

01:25:16.000 And he couldn't move because if he moved, they were going to shoot him.

01:25:18.000 And he was talking about his shoulders killing him because he was leaning up against it and he dared not move.

01:25:23.000 And then finally at like 4.30 in the morning, they just like went away.

01:25:26.000 It was like, what kind of a crazy story is that?

01:25:30.000 I forgot to ask him about that one. 1.00

01:25:32.000 God damn it. 0.98

01:25:34.000 I think the dudes might be on the MDPV, although I don't want to be arrested. 0.99

01:25:39.000 He's got some bitchin' tattoos, though. 0.97

01:25:40.000 Look at those tribes. 1.00

01:25:42.000 Sexy as fuck. 1.00

01:25:43.000 I don't want to be sued. 0.99

01:25:45.000 Would that be ironic if he sued us?

01:25:47.000 He said he's coming to get you a few times.

01:25:49.000 Yeah, he did warn me. 1.00

01:25:51.000 I don't really believe he's on that shit. 1.00

01:25:53.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:25:53.000 I don't know what MDPV actually does. 1.00

01:25:55.000 But he was saying that you can't do it and not get addicted to it.

01:25:59.000 But apparently that's not necessarily true.

01:26:02.000 Like this guy was saying that he did it for two weeks and he stopped doing it and he was writing a report on it. 0.99

01:26:06.000 There's a lot of reports in this shit. 0.98

01:26:10.000 This guy, Paul Early, is an addiction specialist and he warns about the dangers of MDPV. He says, our experience clearly warns of the psychiatric addiction. 0.99

01:26:23.000 and medical dangers of this drug.

01:26:25.000 We have cared for multiple patients who have abused MDPV, and they report intense and unpleasant visual hallucinations after a short binge.

01:26:35.000 The drug feels non-toxic with its first use, but following a moderate binge, users suffer from mild to moderate paranoia in about 10% of individuals who have So this guy is just outright saying on Gizmodo that he used this stuff.

01:27:03.000 Even though McAfee is saying that it's all a troll.

01:27:06.000 I think even if you don't know it's a troll, you have to say that McAfee says it's a troll.

01:27:11.000 Right?

01:27:12.000 Don't you?

01:27:13.000 Yeah.

01:27:13.000 I mean, I'm more...

01:27:15.000 I don't know.

01:27:16.000 I have no idea.

01:27:18.000 I want to believe this guy, but...

01:27:22.000 It just makes no sense.

01:27:25.000 There's a lot of things in this story that just like a common sense person would be like, okay, no, I'm going to the U.S. Embassy.

01:27:31.000 No, I'm going to escape and figure this out.

01:27:34.000 I am not going to be living in wherever he's living. 0.98

01:27:38.000 Yeah, you would say I gotta get in a boat and I'm gonna fucking go to Cuba. 0.97

01:27:41.000 Right. 0.96

01:27:42.000 Or whatever's close.

01:27:43.000 Where's Belize?

01:27:44.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:27:46.000 How far away is that shit? 1.00

01:27:47.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:27:48.000 Is it South America?

01:27:49.000 I have no idea. 1.00

01:27:50.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

01:27:51.000 I'll tell you what, in the Belize picture, if you go to Belize.com, it's all just white people. 1.00

01:27:56.000 White people holding hands.

01:27:58.000 Really?

01:27:58.000 White people barefoot with their feet up.

01:28:00.000 Isn't it? 0.99

01:28:00.000 Having a time of their life, white people. 0.99

01:28:02.000 Is Belize connected to the United States in a way?

01:28:05.000 Are they our buddies?

01:28:07.000 Yeah, isn't it supposed to be like a Puerto Rican kind of thing?

01:28:11.000 No.

01:28:11.000 Or am I thinking of somewhere other?

01:28:12.000 I don't know.

01:28:15.000 Wow, $199 flight to Belize.

01:28:19.000 That's pretty cheap.

01:28:20.000 Whoa, $149.

01:28:22.000 That's pretty cheap.

01:28:23.000 That is cheap. 0.99

01:28:24.000 Where the fuck is Belize? 0.97

01:28:26.000 It says the specific properties of the drugs that he was attempting to isolate. 0.98

01:28:29.000 This is all in the Gizmodo article, by the way.

01:28:32.000 I take no credit for this.

01:28:34.000 The specific properties of the drugs he was attempting to isolate also fit in well with what those closest to him have reported that he is an enthusiastic amateur pharmacologist with a long-standing interest in drugs that induce sexual behavior in women.

01:29:03.000 Okay, but that's...

01:29:04.000 See, that's just like...

01:29:05.000 When you see an article like that...

01:29:08.000 Written about someone like that?

01:29:10.000 That seems to me like you have to have examples.

01:29:12.000 You can't just say that.

01:29:13.000 Because you can say anything about anybody.

01:29:14.000 I can say that about you.

01:29:16.000 I could say Brian Redman has been known to be extremely vindictive in women who ignore his advances.

01:29:22.000 And he's an amateur pharmacologist. 0.99

01:29:24.000 You have to have evidence to say some creepy shit like that, don't you? 0.99

01:29:27.000 Well, I mean, he did have a chemical lab in his house when they raided it, didn't they? 0.99

01:29:31.000 Yeah, but if he's telling the truth that he was using it to make an antiseptic, A natural antiseptic.

01:29:37.000 I mean, I don't know. 0.98

01:29:38.000 Who the fuck knows what the guy does? 0.99

01:29:40.000 Who does that? 0.99

01:29:42.000 Not me, but whoever invented antiseptics in the first place.

01:29:46.000 I mean, who has a lab that does anything?

01:29:48.000 If you're living in the rainforest, which I think Belize is like a rainforest, all of the medical, like, modern medical breakthroughs, not all of them, but a big percentage of them, come from plants that are discovered in remote rainforests.

01:30:02.000 Yeah, I mean, He did say that he was just walking around picking out plants by the creek and stuff. 0.96

01:30:07.000 There's a lot of people that fucking trip on plants, you know? 0.97

01:30:10.000 They love botany, you know? 0.99

01:30:14.000 Terence McKenna was a botanist.

01:30:15.000 I think there's a lot of people that become in love with the idea of these different fascinating plants.

01:30:20.000 I mean, plants are really... 1.00

01:30:22.000 I mean, if we found them on other planets, we'd be shitting our fucking pants. 0.99

01:30:25.000 There's so many weird plants on this planet. 1.00

01:30:29.000 There's a flower that just bloomed recently.

01:30:33.000 I guess it doesn't bloom very often, but it's the world's largest flower.

01:30:36.000 You should get a picture of it.

01:30:37.000 I think it's in Australia.

01:30:39.000 It looks crazy. 1.00

01:30:40.000 It looks like some fucking alien thing from Little Shop of Horrors, one of those little things that eats people. 0.99

01:30:48.000 Yeah, it doesn't even look real. 0.99

01:30:50.000 And apparently it smells like rotting flesh.

01:30:54.000 Ew, really?

01:30:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:30:56.000 Plants are creepy as fuck, man. 0.99

01:30:58.000 There's plants that eat things. 1.00

01:30:59.000 There's plants that trick rats into falling in them, and then they close up on the rats and digest them.

01:31:04.000 This thing?

01:31:05.000 No, that's not it.

01:31:07.000 There's, uh, world's largest flower blooms.

01:31:10.000 If you just, uh, just Google world's largest flower blooms.

01:31:14.000 Yeah.

01:31:15.000 That's not blooms.

01:31:18.000 On Easter Day?

01:31:19.000 No, that's not it.

01:31:21.000 It was really recent.

01:31:22.000 Here we go.

01:31:22.000 It was really recent.

01:31:25.000 Yes, that's it.

01:31:26.000 Look at the size of that thing.

01:31:28.000 It's in Switzerland.

01:31:29.000 Look at the size of that thing.

01:31:31.000 It's insane. 0.99

01:31:31.000 It's like corn on the cob cock. 0.99

01:31:33.000 Yeah, it does look like a corn on the cob. 0.89

01:31:36.000 Exactly.

01:31:37.000 Look at the size of it, though.

01:31:39.000 It's amazing. 1.00

01:31:40.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:31:41.000 And it grows like a dick. 1.00

01:31:43.000 It sprouts, and the dick pops out, and the flowers underneath it. 1.00

01:31:47.000 I mean, it is... 0.99

01:31:48.000 When I say huge, I mean, how many feet is that?

01:31:50.000 Well, it's tall, about, looks like 12 feet, maybe?

01:31:54.000 At least, yeah, it's towering over these people that are looking at it.

01:31:58.000 Does it say there how tall it is?

01:32:00.000 2.27 meters tall.

01:32:03.000 Okay, so it's only like 6 feet.

01:32:05.000 A meter's three feet, right?

01:32:07.000 I don't know.

01:32:07.000 2.2?

01:32:08.000 Yeah.

01:32:09.000 I think a meter's three feet.

01:32:10.000 Wow.

01:32:11.000 Amazing, though.

01:32:12.000 So it must be on a platform, so it makes it look even bigger. 0.98

01:32:15.000 But God, it's fucking incredible. 0.97

01:32:17.000 The variations. 0.98

01:32:18.000 How big is 2.27 meters?

01:32:21.000 Oh, did you ask Siri? 1.00

01:32:23.000 Siri doesn't know shit. 1.00

01:32:24.000 Watch Siri fuck this up. 1.00

01:32:26.000 Looking.

01:32:26.000 Are you confused, bitch?

01:32:28.000 This might answer your question. 0.99

01:32:30.000 Yeah, it's 7.4 feet.

01:32:33.000 Finally, Siri.

01:32:34.000 Siri got something right.

01:32:35.000 Siri's been upgraded a lot lately.

01:32:37.000 Oh, really?

01:32:37.000 You could even buy movie tickets now.

01:32:39.000 You'd just be like, I want closest tickets now.

01:32:42.000 Buy them.

01:32:42.000 Do you have to have an app that it connects to to do that?

01:32:45.000 I don't know.

01:32:45.000 Does it have to have your cell phone, your credit card stored on your phone?

01:32:49.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:32:49.000 You don't know shit. 1.00

01:32:50.000 I haven't done it. 1.00

01:32:51.000 How do you know it works?

01:32:52.000 I just saw it on...

01:32:54.000 Because you're an Apple fanboy.

01:32:55.000 Say it!

01:32:56.000 I'm an Apple fanboy!

01:32:56.000 Say it!

01:32:57.000 You're supposed to get that new phone soon.

01:32:59.000 Oh, cool.

01:33:01.000 First time I ever got one of those hard drives, the SSD hard drives.

01:33:04.000 That's the only way to go in the future.

01:33:06.000 They're beautiful.

01:33:06.000 Ten times faster than on rendering audio that I'm doing on.

01:33:12.000 And they're supposed to be more reliable, like they don't break as easy.

01:33:16.000 I've had a bunch of hard drives fail. 0.99

01:33:18.000 Shit's annoying. 1.00

01:33:19.000 All of a sudden your beach ball is just spinning on your desktop and you're like, what the fuck's going on? 1.00

01:33:24.000 If there was a machine and you were held down and strapped in, and the answer, the real answer to this guy McAfee, you know, is he guilty or not guilty? 1.00

01:33:34.000 And if you had to choose one, and if you choose wrong, a huge black dick goes shoved in your mouth and he comes in you. 1.00

01:33:40.000 Which one would you pick? 1.00

01:33:42.000 I don't think he killed anybody.

01:33:43.000 You don't think he killed anyone?

01:33:44.000 I might be wrong.

01:33:46.000 So that would be your answer, not guilty?

01:33:47.000 Yes.

01:33:48.000 If I had to make an answer of not guilty or guilty, I would say not guilty.

01:33:51.000 But I don't have, you know... 1.00

01:33:57.000 It's a stupid answer. 0.99

01:33:58.000 It's like, I don't have any information. 1.00

01:34:00.000 I don't know.

01:34:00.000 Like, to be connected to yes or no is, to me, seems a silly choice.

01:34:06.000 Like, there's a lot of people that make choices about shit, you know, whether someone's guilty or not guilty, and they get all Nancy Grace on things. 0.99

01:34:13.000 And, you know, and sometimes they're fucking wrong. 0.99

01:34:16.000 Like, Nancy Grace was with the Duke Lacrosse case. 0.98

01:34:19.000 You know, those guys were innocent, and there was a rape.

01:34:23.000 And Nancy Grace, like, for days was on TV accusing them of doing it.

01:34:28.000 Meanwhile, they were set up. 1.00

01:34:29.000 They didn't do shit. 0.98

01:34:30.000 It was all false accusation, and eventually the charges were dropped. 0.99

01:34:34.000 But Nancy Grace was committed to it on her show! 0.99

01:34:40.000 Because it's salacious, because it looks like that's the...

01:34:44.000 That's a good thing to be upset about. 0.99

01:34:46.000 There's too much fuckery in this world. 0.99

01:34:49.000 Too much fuckery to know exactly what's going on unless you were there. 0.98

01:34:52.000 You gotta really look at all the parts. 0.99

01:34:55.000 And for this guy, who the fuck knows what happened? 0.91

01:34:57.000 Who knows what he's doing? 1.00

01:34:58.000 If he really was doing that MDPV... And somebody killed your dog and your high-arm fucking boner medicine? 1.00

01:35:04.000 Well, right there. 0.99

01:35:05.000 Hold on, right there.

01:35:06.000 Okay. 0.84

01:35:06.000 If that guy really was doing MDPV and all those people on Gizmodo are telling the truth, or the guy on Gizmodo is telling the truth about all the people he talked to, then the guy's a liar. 0.84

01:35:18.000 And everything he says has to be questioned.

01:35:20.000 Everything he says.

01:35:21.000 If he really never has done that MDPV, then we could look at him and go, wow, maybe this guy's being set up.

01:35:28.000 But if he has done it and he lied about that, just on this show, if he told that false version of himself, for any reason...

01:35:37.000 You know, you can't trust him anymore.

01:35:40.000 The way he doesn't want to leave, like, no, I will not pay too much. 0.98

01:35:44.000 Like, he's got this, you know, edge to him where it makes me think that if he was high on some kind of fucking drug or whatever, and somebody killed your dogs. 1.00

01:35:54.000 You know, and you're a guy that has a machine gun and you don't like shirts much and you're high on this shit. 1.00

01:36:02.000 I could see him just raging going like, no, you don't know who you fucked with, you know? 1.00

01:36:06.000 Maybe, but who knows? 0.96

01:36:08.000 If he's telling the truth, then I don't know.

01:36:11.000 Hmm.

01:36:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:13.000 Killing your dogs will make people rage. 0.99

01:36:16.000 That's like a child to a lot of people. 0.98

01:36:18.000 Yeah.

01:36:19.000 Who knows?

01:36:20.000 Who knows?

01:36:21.000 If I had to guess though, I would guess apparently he knew a lot of bad people down there.

01:36:27.000 He hung out with a lot of gangsters in Belize, which is probably a smart move.

01:36:31.000 You're a rich guy.

01:36:32.000 Surround yourself with thug-like characters.

01:36:35.000 He doesn't seem like he would hang out with thugs.

01:36:36.000 He seems like he would hang out with yoga dudes.

01:36:38.000 Well, at least in that one photo that we were showing during the thing, but then that other photo where he has the gun, he kind of looks like, okay, that guy's craziness. 0.97

01:36:45.000 I bet he would have been a fun dude to hang around with before all this shit went down. 0.97

01:36:48.000 I bet he still is. 0.98

01:36:51.000 But who knows, man?

01:36:52.000 I want to know what this airplane thing is that looks like a motorcycle.

01:36:58.000 Is that what he said?

01:36:59.000 Like a kite?

01:37:02.000 What is it? 0.99

01:37:03.000 What the fuck did he call it? 0.99

01:37:05.000 McAfee... 1.00

01:37:06.000 Airplane butthole. 0.80

01:37:07.000 Yeah. 0.78

01:37:07.000 No, don't look up that. 0.78

01:37:13.000 Airplane...

01:37:13.000 Accident?

01:37:16.000 Accident.

01:37:18.000 It's... 0.99

01:37:20.000 It sounds like wild, nutty fun to get on some kind of a fucking motorcycle-like kite. 0.99

01:37:27.000 Yeah, I wouldn't do it. 0.98

01:37:31.000 With you?

01:37:32.000 Yeah.

01:37:33.000 Yeah, what is the... 1.00

01:37:34.000 I wonder what the fuck it is. 0.98

01:37:39.000 Yeah, plagued by lawsuits, even like way before this, in 2010, it talked about him hiding in Belize. 0.98

01:37:50.000 And now he hopes to give something back by deriving antibiotics from jungle plants in Belize. 0.95

01:37:58.000 Seems like he's definitely a dude who likes attention.

01:38:02.000 It was pretty easy to get him to come on the podcast and talk.

01:38:06.000 There must be part of him that's enjoying a little bit of this notoriety he's experiencing here.

01:38:12.000 Or he just wants to make us and everybody know about it, kind of like a news type thing, because the more people know about it, if he does get caught, people are going to be like, what?

01:38:25.000 Oh yeah, no doubt, that too.

01:38:27.000 No doubt that too.

01:38:29.000 The whole thing is, I mean, the fact that he wouldn't see how it being a personality piece would lead people to pay more attention to it. 0.99

01:38:38.000 He's smiling with this fucking gun in his hand, looking straight at the camera. 0.98

01:38:43.000 By the way, it's not just one photo of him like that. 0.99

01:38:47.000 If you look at the photos of him online, like the first three, if you look under his McAfee photo images, the first three are of him topless with guns.

01:39:02.000 He's quite a character, though, man.

01:39:04.000 I would have loved to have hung out with him before all this.

01:39:07.000 He seems like a fun guy to talk to.

01:39:09.000 I bet you get a little drunk with him.

01:39:11.000 He's got some great stories. 1.00

01:39:12.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:39:15.000 You know, that's that thing that people talk about doing. 1.00

01:39:18.000 Go down to small island country somewhere and just live out my life.

01:39:24.000 Just ride my boat around and living right by the water. 0.98

01:39:29.000 But how many people actually fucking do that? 0.98

01:39:34.000 Very few. 1.00

01:39:35.000 You have to be some special kind of weird motherfucker to actually go through with that. 1.00

01:39:40.000 Become an expat and just kick back on the beach and not even know people there. 1.00

01:39:47.000 I don't know.

01:39:47.000 It's kind of cool that we got to talk to him.

01:39:50.000 It was one of the things that I was saying yesterday when we were talking to Shane Smith.

01:39:54.000 One of the selfish reasons for starting this podcast is I want to have conversations with these people.

01:39:59.000 I want to have conversations with guys like Dave Asprey.

01:40:02.000 I can't just get them to have a conversation with me.

01:40:06.000 But to have a conversation where you broadcast it, all of a sudden it's fairly easy to get a hold of people.

01:40:11.000 It seems like that would be the opposite.

01:40:13.000 People would be less likely to talk for you for hours on end if they knew it was being broadcast.

01:40:18.000 But actually, that's not the case.

01:40:20.000 Dennis McKenna is coming on the podcast soon.

01:40:22.000 The brother of Terrence McKenna.

01:40:24.000 He's got a book out about his time with his brother.

01:40:31.000 And by all accounts, it's a pretty badass book.

01:40:34.000 And we'll probably have Mitch Schultz will be joining him, who is the producer of DMT, The Spirit Molecule.

01:40:40.000 So we'll talk science, psychedelic compounds, and his brother, the great Terence McKenna.

01:40:46.000 And Dennis is a fascinating guy, too.

01:40:49.000 He had a—well, I don't want to tell the story, but there's some great accounts of his own psychedelic experiences that maybe he'll get into.

01:40:59.000 He had some fairly psychotic episode where I don't think he—I think he lost his sanity for a couple weeks.

01:41:06.000 Off of DMT? No, off of Mushrooms.

01:41:08.000 In the Amazon.

01:41:11.000 Yeah, it's supposed to be a pretty intense story.

01:41:14.000 Hopefully he'll tell it to us.

01:41:16.000 Terrence talked about it in depth in some of his books.

01:41:20.000 And then we got Duncan Trussell tomorrow and Eddie Bravo on Thursday. 0.97

01:41:27.000 The next two, hopefully, will be in the new studio if we could figure out a way to work out that fucking shitbag internet connection. 1.00

01:41:33.000 You would think that in this day and age there would be more options. 0.78

01:41:37.000 There is options.

01:41:39.000 I bet you there is options there.

01:41:41.000 I think I might have to get a T3 line installed.

01:41:44.000 No, we just need to call Time Warner or the other one.

01:41:47.000 I don't know.

01:41:48.000 My business manager is saying that they're having a hard time finding...

01:41:51.000 Your business manager also said DSO got you DSO. Well, they got me DSO because that was the only option available.

01:41:56.000 Yeah, but you can't even do a studio on DSL. I mean, he should be like, wait, look.

01:42:01.000 He doesn't know what a studio entails.

01:42:03.000 How do they know? 0.97

01:42:04.000 How the fuck are they supposed to know? 0.98

01:42:05.000 What I'm saying, these guys should know. 0.98

01:42:07.000 Well, how should...

01:42:07.000 DSL's the most important thing on a studio.

01:42:10.000 But if you say, if it's the fastest internet you have, they go, okay, we'll take it. 1.00

01:42:13.000 And then you get it, and it sucks a fat dick. 1.00

01:42:16.000 You don't know until you try it. 1.00

01:42:17.000 Most people have no idea.

01:42:19.000 I didn't know it wouldn't be adequate.

01:42:20.000 If you said three megabytes download, I'd be like, all right, that sounds good.

01:42:23.000 How did I know that?

01:42:24.000 It's like double a T1 line.

01:42:27.000 A T1 is like 1.5 megabytes.

01:42:28.000 We have a 120 gig download here, and you had a 3. Our upload here is, I think, 40 meg upload.

01:42:37.000 You had 7. Less than 1. Less than 1. Yeah, that's whack.

01:42:41.000 Weak-ass bitches. 1.00

01:42:43.000 You gotta fix it, AT&T U-verse. 1.00

01:42:46.000 Get a fat pipe to my office or heads will roll. 0.63

01:42:51.000 No.

01:42:52.000 Actually, I'll just cancel.

01:42:53.000 I need to find what all the options are as far as dedicated lines.

01:43:00.000 Like when they do an ISDN line, when someone has to do the radio.

01:43:04.000 I know people who have radio studios, they have a dedicated line. 0.99

01:43:08.000 I'm pretty sure that kind of shit's not as good as... 0.96

01:43:10.000 No, it's terrible, but I'm saying I wonder if they can do that with like a T1 or a T3. Not a T1. T1's not good enough, but like a T3 line or something like that. 0.99

01:43:18.000 You just need fiber.

01:43:18.000 That's all you need.

01:43:19.000 They don't have it, though.

01:43:20.000 They have cable or fiber.

01:43:21.000 Not in my area.

01:43:23.000 Not in the area where my office is.

01:43:25.000 No, AT&T doesn't.

01:43:27.000 No one does.

01:43:28.000 How do you know that?

01:43:29.000 Because they've looked. 0.98

01:43:30.000 They just sent me an email explaining all the different shit that they don't have. 0.99

01:43:33.000 No cable, no this, no that. 0.98

01:43:36.000 They don't expect people to want anything better than this in those areas. 0.99

01:43:40.000 Most people, their regular businesses just involve sending emails and shit. 0.79

01:43:43.000 So you're saying that for sure there's no cable or there's no fiber through Time Warmer or any of the other companies? 0.96

01:43:49.000 Time Warmer?

01:43:49.000 Time Warner or AT&T? No.

01:43:53.000 Charter?

01:43:54.000 No. 1.00

01:43:55.000 Those fucks. 1.00

01:43:56.000 That seems impossible. 1.00

01:43:57.000 Yeah, it seems like it.

01:43:58.000 But it's true. 0.99

01:43:59.000 If that's true, you're screwed. 1.00

01:44:00.000 I'm fucked. 1.00

01:44:01.000 But 4G cellular is not good enough. 1.00

01:44:04.000 No, no.

01:44:04.000 I don't even think of 4G. That's a cell phone.

01:44:07.000 Ladies and gentlemen out there listening, surely you must have some sort of a fucking solution. 1.00

01:44:11.000 Move your office. 0.99

01:44:13.000 I can't now. 1.00

01:44:14.000 Shit. 1.00

01:44:15.000 That would suck. 1.00

01:44:16.000 That was the one thing I told you.

01:44:17.000 I was like, before you get it, make sure they have fast dinner.

01:44:19.000 That's the most important thing.

01:44:21.000 Yep.

01:44:21.000 They said they did.

01:44:22.000 Those fucks. 1.00

01:44:23.000 We'll work it out, freaks. 1.00

01:44:25.000 We'll work it out.

01:44:25.000 Oh my god.

01:44:26.000 I don't believe your business manager.

01:44:28.000 It's not their fault.

01:44:29.000 I don't believe it.

01:44:30.000 No, I don't believe them.

01:44:31.000 You don't have to.

01:44:32.000 I believe that there's...

01:44:33.000 Well, we'll get off the phone and we'll figure it out, okay?

01:44:36.000 Get off the phone.

01:44:37.000 We'll get off the line.

01:44:40.000 Anything else you want to add?

01:44:41.000 This weekend, we're going to be in Austin, Texas. 0.98

01:44:44.000 That should be a fucking blast. 0.99

01:44:45.000 It's a quick weekend. 1.00

01:44:47.000 In and out, you freaks.

01:44:48.000 And then next weekend, I am...

01:44:52.000 The following weekend, we're in Seattle at the... 0.98

01:44:58.000 What the fuck is the name of the comedy club? 0.97

01:45:00.000 The Pauler Live. 0.99

01:45:01.000 That's it.

01:45:02.000 It's in Bellevue, Washington.

01:45:03.000 I emailed you about that.

01:45:03.000 Did you put that on the tour?

01:45:05.000 I haven't checked my email.

01:45:06.000 Check your email, son.

01:45:07.000 Do you check your email?

01:45:09.000 I'm starting not to check my email now.

01:45:12.000 Voicemail died recently for me.

01:45:14.000 Regular mail.

01:45:15.000 I don't do regular mail anymore.

01:45:16.000 Voicemails.

01:45:17.000 I don't like listening to voicemails now.

01:45:18.000 If I have a voicemail on my phone, I don't even look at it.

01:45:21.000 And now, recently, email.

01:45:23.000 I'm giving up on email.

01:45:25.000 I don't know, man.

01:45:26.000 I like email.

01:45:27.000 It's too much.

01:45:28.000 It is too much, though.

01:45:30.000 After a while, it gets crazy. 1.00

01:45:31.000 Too much shit, too much... 1.00

01:45:33.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:45:34.000 Yeah.

01:45:35.000 No, I know what you're talking about, man. 0.99

01:45:38.000 It's just overwhelming how much shit you can get thrown at you that you have to pay attention to. 0.98

01:45:44.000 That was one of the best things about going camping, is that for five days, no phone calls, no emails, no nothing. 0.98

01:45:52.000 It's one of the nicest things to have a little break, a little reset.

01:45:56.000 I actually look forward to getting emails after that.

01:45:58.000 My new favorite thing on the phone, I don't know if you've used this on the iPhone, is the Do Not Disturb.

01:46:04.000 So at night, you just click on this Do Not Disturb button.

01:46:08.000 No phone calls, no texts, but you still have internet and shit like that. 0.95

01:46:13.000 Wow. 0.98

01:46:15.000 Because I would be getting phone calls, like I'll set my alarm to wake me up, and then I'll get a phone call at like 2 in the morning, you know, and I'll be like, oh, what the fuck, and it'll wake me up. 0.99

01:46:22.000 Or somebody will send me a stupid text, you know, at 6 in the morning. 0.96

01:46:25.000 So that's what Do Not Disturb is? 1.00

01:46:27.000 Yeah, it just turns everything off.

01:46:29.000 But everything still comes in, so it's not like you have it on airplane mode.

01:46:34.000 Right.

01:46:34.000 It doesn't give you any warnings.

01:46:36.000 Yeah, it just turns all that shit off. 0.92

01:46:38.000 Does it still light up? 0.99

01:46:41.000 Like, does it get brighter?

01:46:43.000 I think it depends on it.

01:46:44.000 See, I have all text messages turned off, all notifications turned off on my phone, everything turned off on my phone now.

01:46:50.000 I don't even like a window popping up, because I was just getting in too much trouble when I was dating.

01:46:58.000 You know, there'd be like a text that'd pop up like, hey, what are you doing tonight, honey?

01:47:01.000 And then they're like, oh, who's this?

01:47:03.000 You know?

01:47:04.000 Right.

01:47:04.000 It was just getting me in too much trouble.

01:47:06.000 So, do not disturb is the way out of that.

01:47:07.000 Yeah.

01:47:07.000 Well, I just turn off all notifications.

01:47:10.000 So, like, if I get a text... 1.00

01:47:10.000 You should shut your fucking phone off. 1.00

01:47:11.000 I know. 1.00

01:47:12.000 I'm about to.

01:47:13.000 Are you getting that way at all?

01:47:14.000 Like, I'm starting, like, I don't want...

01:47:17.000 Like, I'm turning into Joey Diaz.

01:47:18.000 Like, I'm going backwards.

01:47:19.000 I want to get just a pager.

01:47:21.000 Well, there's something to be said for not, you know, when you're constantly interacting with people all day long, you have no time to reflect.

01:47:29.000 Right.

01:47:29.000 You have no time to think for yourself.

01:47:31.000 Right.

01:47:31.000 You're just constantly dealing with other people's requests for, you know, hey, I got a question.

01:47:35.000 Hey, what's up?

01:47:36.000 Hey, what's going on?

01:47:36.000 What are you doing?

01:47:37.000 You want to do this?

01:47:37.000 You want to do that?

01:47:38.000 What's the plan?

01:47:39.000 Yeah.

01:47:40.000 Constantly, can you call me?

01:47:41.000 I got this going on.

01:47:42.000 After a while, if you're in the loop of communicating with a bunch of different people all the time, you're constantly responding to things.

01:47:51.000 Text messages.

01:47:52.000 Sometimes I get in this text message thing where three dudes are texting me at the same time. 0.99

01:47:56.000 And so you're texting them trying to answer questions or talk to them about shit. 0.79

01:48:00.000 And then another one comes in from the other guy, and then you hit that. 0.98

01:48:03.000 How many times do you banter back and forth, too?

01:48:07.000 Girls are brutal. 1.00

01:48:08.000 Yeah, if you're going to fight with a girl over a text message and they're just writing paragraph after paragraph...

01:48:15.000 And you have to, like, respond to it.

01:48:16.000 You have to, like, go back and read and write.

01:48:18.000 And then when you're done, she has another paragraph loaded and ready. 1.00

01:48:22.000 At least you can do is email me, you crazy bitch. 1.00

01:48:25.000 Writing it in a text form is rude. 1.00

01:48:27.000 And, you know, and by the way, that's what you're doing for the next few hours.

01:48:30.000 Good luck with that. 0.99

01:48:31.000 You know, instead of having a phone call or meeting person to person, talking this shit out. 0.99

01:48:37.000 Oh my god, you said... 1.00

01:48:38.000 Drama for your mama. 0.89

01:48:42.000 Yeah.

01:48:43.000 There's got to be a way out of this, Brian.

01:48:44.000 Got to be a way to positive thinking.

01:48:46.000 Police.

01:48:46.000 Is it police?

01:48:48.000 Well, the website shows a lot of white people holding hands.

01:48:51.000 Perfect.

01:48:52.000 And that's what I want to do. 0.73

01:48:53.000 I want to hold hands with white people and walk on the beach.

01:48:56.000 And I want to have no shoes on and be relaxed enough to be staring at the water through my toes. 0.88

01:49:01.000 With my 17-year-old hottie.

01:49:03.000 Yeah, while on bath salts.

01:49:05.000 Allegedly.

01:49:06.000 According to Gizmodo.

01:49:09.000 I trust Gizmodo.

01:49:10.000 I trust John McAfee.

01:49:12.000 How about that?

01:49:13.000 Had a conversation with him.

01:49:15.000 He was a hell of a nice guy.

01:49:16.000 I detected no hint of bath salts in our conversation. 0.99

01:49:20.000 Shit felt legit. 0.99

01:49:22.000 I felt like he was really there with me. 0.99

01:49:26.000 And you know what?

01:49:26.000 He's got a good point about those cops making a dollar an hour.

01:49:29.000 Maybe if someone paid him $20 an hour, they wouldn't have shot that guy 14 times in a van. 1.00

01:49:33.000 He should just fucking pay all the cops. 1.00

01:49:35.000 It's so stupid. 1.00

01:49:36.000 Well, I think he tried to do that. 1.00

01:49:38.000 I think he had his own sort of an army.

01:49:41.000 And that's one of the things.

01:49:43.000 They try to stop compounds in governments before they start.

01:49:46.000 So when you start seeing a dude accumulate dogs and guns and you want to move in... 0.99

01:49:53.000 Send a fucking sniff troop into the meth lab. 1.00

01:49:57.000 See what's being cooked up there. 1.00

01:49:58.000 Legal or illegal.

01:50:00.000 Alright.

01:50:01.000 But this MDPV stuff.

01:50:03.000 Not legal in America anymore.

01:50:05.000 But legal in believes.

01:50:06.000 Although it doesn't matter because that's not what he was doing, right?

01:50:09.000 No.

01:50:10.000 He's researching.

01:50:11.000 Yeah.

01:50:12.000 So they have a picture of this plane thing.

01:50:16.000 It's pretty crazy.

01:50:17.000 It really does look like a motorcycle with a kite on top of it.

01:50:25.000 And his nephew died in this thing with a 61 year old passenger.

01:50:31.000 Hmm.

01:50:46.000 Wow.

01:50:47.000 Wow. 1.00

01:50:53.000 Sounds like it's dangerous as fuck, but it's dangerous as fuck to do a lot of shit. 1.00

01:50:57.000 Skydiving is dangerous as fuck. 1.00

01:50:59.000 Those bodysuits. 0.99

01:51:00.000 Have you ever seen that video where the guy's on that wingsuit and he crashes?

01:51:04.000 Yeah.

01:51:05.000 Ooh, that looks horrifying.

01:51:07.000 Those wingsuits are horrifying to begin with. 1.00

01:51:10.000 That guy's fucked up, too. 1.00

01:51:11.000 I mean, I think he broke, like, every bone in his body. 1.00

01:51:14.000 He lived.

01:51:14.000 But you're flying, you know, like, who knows?

01:51:18.000 Like, it's like 100 miles an hour or something.

01:51:20.000 It's pretty crazy how fast those things go.

01:51:22.000 And you clip the ground and you just go for a mad tumble.

01:51:26.000 But that's legal.

01:51:27.000 Can't sue anybody for that.

01:51:29.000 Can't sue anybody for hand gliding?

01:51:31.000 I don't think. 0.99

01:51:32.000 Unless you rent a fucking hand glide and it snaps in half. 0.99

01:51:36.000 Then maybe your family can sue the rental company for not maintaining it. 1.00

01:51:40.000 But if you die in a hand gliding accident because of some crazy wind, you know, situation...

01:51:46.000 You're lucky you're not addicted to video games anymore, because I got something that you would go crazy on.

01:51:51.000 What?

01:51:52.000 It's a suitcase, and when you open it up, and it's travel approved, when you open it up, there's a 19-inch monitor, a sound system, there's lights, you put your Xbox in there, or your PS3, and this is the Star Wars Xbox, and you travel with it.

01:52:08.000 The sound is loud.

01:52:10.000 It's got blue lights all around it.

01:52:12.000 At night it glows.

01:52:14.000 It's 1080p.

01:52:16.000 It's games.

01:52:17.000 That looks incredible.

01:52:19.000 What is it called?

01:52:20.000 It's games all in one.

01:52:22.000 I have a YouTube video of it. 0.99

01:52:24.000 See, the problem with all that shit is that If you're going to play a fucking game, you should have the most accurate input devices. 1.00

01:52:32.000 And when you're playing games and you have those stupid... 1.00

01:52:35.000 For the games that you're used to playing. 1.00

01:52:37.000 Yeah.

01:52:37.000 But see, these games are designed not for mouse and keyboard.

01:52:40.000 They're designed for the controller.

01:52:42.000 But you don't get as much accuracy.

01:52:44.000 Why would you not want a mouse and a keyboard?

01:52:46.000 Once you play with a mouse and a keyboard...

01:52:48.000 Oh, you have it there?

01:52:49.000 Is that it?

01:52:50.000 Yeah, this is it right here.

01:52:51.000 Did they send you one of these things?

01:52:52.000 No, I bought it.

01:52:53.000 I bought it for the studio because we do so many video game podcasts at Death Squad that I was like, we should have a unit here so we can play video games and show people.

01:53:01.000 Do you have it here right now?

01:53:02.000 No, I didn't bring it today. 0.99

01:53:03.000 What the fuck? 0.99

01:53:04.000 There's a video of you playing with it. 1.00

01:53:06.000 So, how many games did you play on this?

01:53:09.000 I've only been playing Call of Duty, and I haven't even been playing much because I've been busy.

01:53:13.000 And how's it look?

01:53:14.000 It's awesome.

01:53:15.000 It looks great?

01:53:15.000 It's great.

01:53:16.000 It's got two headphone jacks in the front of it, so you can play online and have your own headphones plugged in.

01:53:24.000 It's great.

01:53:25.000 It has an HDMI port in it, so if you wanted to, you can also hook a PS3 or a Nintendo Wii or whatever...

01:53:33.000 You can hook it up to a television.

01:53:35.000 Yeah, and they have a 15-inch version that they sell at Best Buy and stuff.

01:53:38.000 This is their new 19-inch Halo Special Edition version.

01:53:41.000 It's the first time they have a 19-inch monitor in it and stuff like that.

01:53:45.000 But I have a video showing it if you go to YouTube.com backslash Let's Find Jesus. 0.96

01:53:50.000 Let's Find Jesus is just all my tech review shit like I do. 0.95

01:53:54.000 I'll do the teen phone service. 0.98

01:53:57.000 Does anybody ever get pissed at your YouTube name?

01:53:59.000 Let's Find Jesus? 0.55

01:54:00.000 No, but I think they were more pissed at letsfindjesus.com.

01:54:03.000 Why?

01:54:05.000 Because it was a website that sells religious things that I made a long time ago when me and McAfee used to troll people.

01:54:16.000 Let's find Jesus.com.

01:54:18.000 Does it sell things?

01:54:19.000 Yeah.

01:54:20.000 What does it sell?

01:54:21.000 Like Jesus' hair?

01:54:22.000 Yeah, Jesus' hair from the barber shop.

01:54:25.000 This is Black Jesus. 0.67

01:54:27.000 Jesus stealing a baby drawing. 0.91

01:54:29.000 It's a painting of Jesus stealing a baby.

01:54:32.000 And you sell these?

01:54:33.000 Yeah.

01:54:34.000 No.

01:54:34.000 I've never sold one, actually, but it's been on every...

01:54:36.000 Are they actually for sale, though?

01:54:38.000 I guess if somebody bought it...

01:54:39.000 No, they're not for sale.

01:54:41.000 No. 0.99

01:54:41.000 Yeah, what the fuck, dude? 0.99

01:54:42.000 Don't say that. 1.00

01:54:43.000 What was the mix CD? Jesus' mix CD? It's a bunch of songs I wrote about a long time ago about Jesus and Mary and Noah.

01:54:56.000 Is this the sex song?

01:54:57.000 Noah, Noah Don't, don't forget to bring Oh, this is Don't Forget to Bring the Lovebirds on the Boat, Noah, for Mary.

01:55:10.000 Play it.

01:55:11.000 No, it's embarrassing.

01:55:12.000 It's embarrassing.

01:55:14.000 Play it.

01:55:19.000 Don't forget to bring the lovebirds on the boat for Mary. 0.98

01:55:30.000 And there's a lot, like there's a remix, there's a ton of remix versions.

01:55:33.000 Is there other songs?

01:55:34.000 Yeah.

01:55:34.000 Or is that the same song?

01:55:36.000 It's remix versions of that.

01:55:39.000 Of the same theme?

01:55:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:55:49.000 It's so stupid. 1.00

01:55:51.000 You know, by the way, that's not any more ridiculous than any of the other songs I hear on one of those serious XF, XM, like the coffee house. 1.00

01:56:00.000 Oh, right, right. 0.99

01:56:01.000 You know, half of those fucking really emo songs. 0.99

01:56:03.000 Check this out. 0.99

01:56:04.000 This is another thing I just reviewed.

01:56:06.000 This is the Logitech Wi-Fi webcam.

01:56:11.000 And what it does is it connects to your Wi-Fi network and then you have a wireless webcam and it has a button on it that you push that automatically starts streaming the Ustream.

01:56:21.000 So Ustream has partnered with these guys, I guess, somehow.

01:56:25.000 But it has a tripod with a magnet on it so you can rotate it all around, which is also a case.

01:56:32.000 But it's just a wireless webcam.

01:56:33.000 So if you're on the same Wi-Fi network...

01:56:36.000 If you're on a Wi-Fi network, you can carry this whole thing around your whole house, and you have a wireless webcam.

01:56:41.000 It's got like a three-hour battery life.

01:56:44.000 Does it have a microphone?

01:56:45.000 It's got a microphone.

01:56:46.000 It's got a light on the front of it. 1.00

01:56:48.000 Holy shit. 0.98

01:56:49.000 It's carrying case, which I'm showing right now. 0.99

01:56:52.000 You take it out, and it doubles as a tripod.

01:56:56.000 And it also has a magnet on it, so the magnet is for the tilting and stuff like that.

01:57:01.000 It also has a hook, so you can screw it onto a tripod.

01:57:05.000 And it's got really good quality.

01:57:06.000 It's an HD webcam.

01:57:08.000 That's amazing.

01:57:09.000 What is it called?

01:57:10.000 It's the Logitech Broadcaster Wi-Fi.

01:57:13.000 And it's super Mac-friendly.

01:57:15.000 It's actually designed more for Mac almost than a PC. Suck it, Windows! 1.00

01:57:19.000 Yeah, and so I have a video also on the Let's Find Jesus YouTube channel. 0.99

01:57:23.000 Dude, that sounds like something we need to get a hold of.

01:57:26.000 I have one right there. 1.00

01:57:27.000 We need to use that shit. 0.99

01:57:28.000 Well, I think for what we do, it wouldn't really benefit. 1.00

01:57:31.000 I don't know.

01:57:31.000 I'm still playing with it.

01:57:32.000 Because we already have video cameras and mixers here.

01:57:35.000 Yeah, but not here.

01:57:36.000 I mean like at shows.

01:57:37.000 Oh yeah, for shows.

01:57:38.000 If we can get on the Wi-Fi network or bring a hotspot maybe.

01:57:42.000 We should start doing that.

01:57:43.000 Maybe we should do that this weekend in Austin.

01:57:44.000 Maybe we should broadcast in Austin from the green room before the show.

01:57:48.000 It's going to be you, me, and Duncan and Aubrey from Onnit.com.

01:57:51.000 Cool.

01:57:52.000 Oh, snap. 0.99

01:57:53.000 We're going to have a good time.

01:57:55.000 Yes. 1.00

01:57:56.000 Oh, snap, you dirty bitches. 1.00

01:57:57.000 I forgot that we're in Austin. 1.00

01:57:59.000 Yeah, this weekend, man.

01:58:00.000 Saturday night.

01:58:01.000 Oh, I forgot Aubrey lived there.

01:58:03.000 Yeah.

01:58:03.000 That's cool.

01:58:04.000 Yeah, we're going to have a good fucking time. 1.00

01:58:06.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:58:06.000 And we've got to go to this barbecue place that everybody waits in line all day for. 1.00

01:58:10.000 It's supposed to be ridiculous.

01:58:13.000 Aubrey said they would hire someone to go wait in line, but the problem with that is then you don't get it fresh.

01:58:18.000 You want to get it like right as it comes off the grill.

01:58:22.000 The only way to do that is you have to wait in line for like an hour and a half. 1.00

01:58:25.000 Oh, fuck that. 1.00

01:58:26.000 No, I don't want that. 1.00

01:58:27.000 It's a crazy way.

01:58:27.000 Dude, let's go eat our own.

01:58:28.000 Let's make our own.

01:58:29.000 No, you don't know what you're doing.

01:58:30.000 I don't care.

01:58:31.000 You're barbecuing skills.

01:58:32.000 I'm not waiting an hour and a half for some barbecue.

01:58:34.000 It's supposed to be unbelievable.

01:58:35.000 Ari Shafir said it was so good after you waited in line an hour and a half it was worth it.

01:58:38.000 Anything's good if you wait in line for an hour and a half.

01:58:40.000 That's why anytime your wife cooks for you it's always good because you had to sit there and wait two hours instead of two minutes for putting a lean pocket in the microwave. 1.00

01:58:47.000 You were like, alright, I just had to sit here and smell the whole cooking process of the food.

01:58:51.000 Of course I'm going to love your food.

01:58:53.000 I don't know what I'm talking about.

01:58:54.000 Yeah, you definitely don't know what you're talking about. 1.00

01:58:57.000 You poor fool. 1.00

01:58:59.000 So, we'll see you guys tomorrow. 1.00

01:59:01.000 We have nothing else to say to each other.

01:59:03.000 We will be doing a just Brian and Joe only podcast, though, to celebrate our 300th podcast.

01:59:11.000 I think we've done that with every 100, right?

01:59:13.000 Oh, no, we tried to do one with Duncan.

01:59:14.000 Yeah, we did one with Duncan last time.

01:59:16.000 Yeah.

01:59:18.000 But the...

01:59:19.000 The 100th and now the 300th.

01:59:22.000 It's kind of crazy.

01:59:22.000 This is our third year doing this.

01:59:24.000 This month, next month, marks our third year doing this podcast.

01:59:28.000 Yeah, it's crazy. 0.96

01:59:29.000 Ridiculous. 0.99

01:59:30.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00

01:59:31.000 How the fuck did that happen? 0.99

01:59:33.000 Time just flew up. 0.96

01:59:35.000 Remember when you were, like, back in the day, we would make fun of December 21st, 2012?

01:59:39.000 Dude, it's going to be the end of the world.

01:59:40.000 Because it didn't seem like it was real.

01:59:42.000 It didn't seem like that date was ever going to come. 0.99

01:59:44.000 That shit's this month, son. 0.99

01:59:46.000 It's almost December 1st. 1.00

01:59:48.000 December 1st on Saturday.

01:59:49.000 20 days later, end of the Mayan calendar.

01:59:52.000 Are you ready?

01:59:53.000 Yeah, sure.

01:59:54.000 You ain't ready.

01:59:56.000 You're not ready for Doomsday.

01:59:57.000 You ain't a prepper.

01:59:58.000 Did you watch Prepping?

01:59:59.000 You ever watch that?

02:00:01.000 Prepping?

02:00:01.000 No.

02:00:02.000 Oh, it's a good show to watch.

02:00:03.000 It's one of my new things I watch. 1.00

02:00:05.000 These nutty bitches canning peaches and fucking stuffing them under their bed. 1.00

02:00:09.000 One guy, he shot his thumb. 1.00

02:00:11.000 He had a fucking, his gun misfired. 1.00

02:00:14.000 His thumb started bleeding and he fainted. 1.00

02:00:17.000 I'm like, you fucking pussy. 1.00

02:00:19.000 You think you're going to last through the fucking apocalypse and you can't even deal with a little blood loss? 1.00

02:00:25.000 You faint like a bitch because your thumb's bleeding? 1.00

02:00:29.000 How dare you? 1.00

02:00:30.000 How dare you be on doomsday preppers with that bitch-ass attitude? 1.00

02:00:33.000 There was one couple that was really religious and they were buying a lot of alcohol. 0.99

02:00:38.000 And like, we don't even drink alcohol, but we're going to need it for bartering and also to construct Molotov cocktails in case we're attacked.

02:00:45.000 And so then they were practicing with the Molotov cocktails. 0.98

02:00:48.000 They had these rocks and they would light the fucking thing. 0.99

02:00:54.000 You know what a Molotov cocktail is, folks. 0.99

02:00:55.000 You take a thing of high-proof alcohol and you stuff a rag in it and get it all wet with the alcohol and then you light the rag.

02:01:04.000 And throw it and it explodes in flames. 0.99

02:01:06.000 These fucking dummies are standing there throwing glasses of vodka at the rocks and burst them into flames. 1.00

02:01:12.000 Yeah, this is a good weapon! 1.00

02:01:14.000 Meanwhile, they have fucking guns. 1.00

02:01:15.000 They have, like, huge caches of guns. 1.00

02:01:18.000 Huge safes filled with machine guns.

02:01:21.000 They have, like, ankle holsters on. 1.00

02:01:23.000 And this is right next to my dick. 1.00

02:01:25.000 I keep a gun next to my dick. 1.00

02:01:26.000 One next to my ankle. 1.00

02:01:27.000 Like, they're, like, completely prepped.

02:01:29.000 And every month...

02:01:30.000 They go to the supermarket and they go to Costco's and places like that and stock up on supplies so they can be better prepared. 0.99

02:01:38.000 They have a budget of every month where they'll buy guns and bullets and water and fucking bananas, man. 0.99

02:01:45.000 Bananas to watch. 0.99

02:01:48.000 When the apocalypse comes, you've got to really wonder whether or not you want to make it through.

02:01:56.000 Someone had to do that in the past because everything was the apocalypse when we were monkeys.

02:02:03.000 Every day was the apocalypse. 0.98

02:02:05.000 You had to fucking go out and scrounge for food. 0.99

02:02:08.000 There's no supermarkets. 1.00

02:02:09.000 There's no internet.

02:02:10.000 There's no electricity.

02:02:12.000 Essentially, Mad Max was way better than the way the monkeys lived.

02:02:16.000 At least Mad Max had a car, okay? 0.90

02:02:19.000 The apocalypse, you know, being like that, a road warrior type scenario, that ain't shit compared to what it definitely used to be. 0.94

02:02:26.000 And somebody had to get through that to get to here. 0.93

02:02:29.000 They had to get through that to get to here.

02:02:32.000 But the problem is, once you're already here, very tough to go back to caveman days. 0.99

02:02:38.000 Very tough to scrounge out a living, eating dead people that you find under a fucking overpass, because that's the only meat that you can bring home to your family. 0.99

02:02:47.000 Jesus Christ. 0.99

02:02:48.000 You gotta wonder whether or not you want to make it through that.

02:02:51.000 Like, what's the end game in that sort of scenario?

02:02:54.000 If an asteroid hits, you really want it to hit you.

02:02:58.000 Like, just land right on you. 1.00

02:03:00.000 Fucking... 0.99

02:03:00.000 Let's try this again. 0.99

02:03:03.000 What are you doing over there?

02:03:04.000 Surfing the web?

02:03:05.000 No, I'm just reading that the porn industry is suing Verizon for protecting pirates.

02:03:16.000 And I was just like, wow, Verizon's standing up for the pirates.

02:03:20.000 That's crazy.

02:03:21.000 Huh.

02:03:21.000 The porn industry is...

02:03:23.000 Were they saying that people are stealing them on BitTorrent and stuff like that?

02:03:27.000 Stealing their videos?

02:03:28.000 They're saying that Verizon is refusing to comply with court-ordered subpoenas and the porn studios see it as more than a... 0.97

02:03:34.000 They just want the names of people that are torrenting the shit and I guess Verizon's not playing along. 0.96

02:03:41.000 That's funny because they play along with the record industry. 0.98

02:03:44.000 Right.

02:03:45.000 Does Verizon play along with them?

02:03:46.000 I don't know.

02:03:47.000 I mean, some people don't.

02:03:47.000 Some people send out messages, but they won't actively...

02:03:51.000 There's not a lot for them, you know, the internet companies and going after people that are pirates. 0.98

02:03:58.000 It's almost like, eh, you gotta figure that shit out on your own. 0.94

02:04:01.000 They're in the business of providing internet service, and one of the things that people want to do with that internet service is download shit. 0.98

02:04:07.000 You know, for you to, like, start peering into what they're downloading and... 0.85

02:04:11.000 You know that mega upload scenario?

02:04:14.000 You know what's going on with that?

02:04:15.000 That guy, Kim.com, who said he was famous in the early days of the internet.

02:04:21.000 He used to be a hacker and then became a computer securities expert and apparently made a fuckload of money And he used to have this blog and he takes all these crazy pictures of him in front of his yacht and chilling in Brazil and flying in his private jet to this place.

02:04:38.000 And he's got this ridiculous mansion where he lives in New Zealand.

02:04:41.000 And he's embroiled in this huge legal battle because of MegaUpload.com, which was his website that was accused of hosting pirated material.

02:04:54.000 And apparently the government, according to Kim.com, he complied with every request the government had for taking things down, and that they actually asked him to not take these certain files down.

02:05:09.000 And those are the ones that they wound up charging him for.

02:05:12.000 Because they asked him to not do it because they were trying to track it or something like that.

02:05:17.000 So he's saying that they acted in bad faith in organizing their evidence against him.

02:05:23.000 As I understand it.

02:05:24.000 I might have fucked that argument up.

02:05:25.000 But it's kind of interesting that this guy is like this super rich geek who is trying to keep file sharing alive and keep these upload sites alive.

02:05:37.000 And now he's making one where everyone else can contribute bandwidth and storage.

02:05:45.000 So somehow or another.

02:05:46.000 And they're offering one-click encryption on the fly for free for all data.

02:05:53.000 So it's really going to be interesting to see where this goes.

02:05:57.000 Because if this guy can figure out how to do that, what can these record industry people and what can these movie industry people do about that?

02:06:10.000 Because what he's saying is that there's data on his site that shows that when Mega Upload was...

02:06:20.000 Was shut down that it actually hurt box office numbers. 0.96

02:06:24.000 That it doesn't hurt huge blockbuster movies like Mission Impossible type shit. 0.98

02:06:30.000 It doesn't hurt them. 0.94

02:06:31.000 But it hurts the box offices of more obscure movies who would be heard about and transferred and talked about through the internet.

02:06:40.000 And that people would hear about it because of other people downloading them and that would actually cause more people to go out and buy and see it.

02:06:47.000 Which is, you know, sort of the attitude that most comics take, is that having anything of yours that's out on the internet, the more that's out there the better, because then people will hear about you and they'll be able to go out and get your stuff.

02:07:04.000 That's why very few comics remove, like, MP3s for copyright violation. 0.97

02:07:09.000 It's like, they're happy if anybody's listening, because then more people listen to your future shit. 0.99

02:07:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:07:14.000 It's an interesting argument, you know, as far as what's copywritten and what's not, and what hurts and what doesn't. 0.99

02:07:21.000 When someone's got a fucking movie theater in their house, though, that's when shit hurts. 0.99

02:07:24.000 You essentially have a movie theater in your house now. 1.00

02:07:27.000 Dude, my new shit is a movie theater in my house. 0.99

02:07:29.000 I've been watching so much shit on that thing, and I could see it being... 0.99

02:07:35.000 I saw Wreck-It Ralph the other day, and I went to one of those movie theaters where it was in a small room where the screen was about the same size as the screen that now I have in my house. 0.99

02:07:46.000 I just took one wall of my living room and pretty much made it a movie theater screen.

02:07:51.000 And the projectors are so good nowadays that they're HD that it's like you don't need...

02:07:58.000 This projector screen was $200.

02:08:01.000 The projector was $700.

02:08:02.000 And that right there is better.

02:08:04.000 I don't have any reason to go to a movie theater now.

02:08:07.000 Yeah, if you could just get the movies directly, why can't they do that?

02:08:12.000 Why can't they just charge?

02:08:14.000 How about iTunes?

02:08:16.000 Do it through that.

02:08:17.000 Think about this.

02:08:18.000 If you go to the movies, how much does it cost to go to the movies?

02:08:21.000 It's like $10 now or something?

02:08:23.000 It's like $13 a ticket.

02:08:24.000 Where are you going?

02:08:25.000 Charge me $50.

02:08:26.000 Yeah.

02:08:26.000 Charge me 50 so I can watch it with the whole family.

02:08:29.000 Charge me 50 bucks.

02:08:30.000 Well, they do that kind of, like Bobcat's movies and Kevin Smith's movie, Red State.

02:08:37.000 You could get before it even came out in movie theaters.

02:08:41.000 Yeah, well, Kevin Smith, it was beautiful.

02:08:43.000 Yeah, that was the right way to do it.

02:08:44.000 That's very smart.

02:08:45.000 He's aware of his community.

02:08:49.000 He can do something like that.

02:08:51.000 I hope he made money off that.

02:08:52.000 Of course he did. 1.00

02:08:53.000 It's a good fucking movie. 1.00

02:08:54.000 It's a good fucking movie. 1.00

02:08:56.000 That movie was really well done. 0.99

02:08:58.000 And Stephen King, or Steve Root rather, was amazing in it.

02:09:02.000 He's amazing in that Boardwalk Empire.

02:09:04.000 I just started watching that.

02:09:06.000 Dude, that show's good, dude. 0.99

02:09:11.000 There's too many goddamn good shows. 0.98

02:09:13.000 Everybody's like, you gotta watch Mad Men. 1.00

02:09:15.000 Fuck you, I do. 1.00

02:09:16.000 I do want to watch Mad Men. 1.00

02:09:17.000 That's on my list of things. 1.00

02:09:19.000 I want to watch Mad Men just for that girl with the big tits. 1.00

02:09:21.000 Yes. 1.00

02:09:22.000 She's a real woman, huh? 0.96

02:09:27.000 Yeah.

02:09:27.000 That's rare that you see, like, a big, voluptuous, sexy, plump woman.

02:09:32.000 You're talking about the one with the redhead?

02:09:33.000 Yes. 1.00

02:09:35.000 She's plump as fuck. 1.00

02:09:37.000 She's one of... 1.00

02:09:38.000 Yeah.

02:09:39.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:09:40.000 Big old titties. 0.99

02:09:40.000 You know what, tell me. 0.99

02:09:41.000 Those are redonkulous, right? 0.70

02:09:43.000 Redonkulous.

02:09:43.000 Yeah, that's a...

02:09:44.000 Is that what women ever looked like? 1.00

02:09:46.000 No.

02:09:46.000 You can't say that.

02:09:47.000 That's a rare specimen.

02:09:48.000 You can't claim that that's how they all looked back in the 20s.

02:09:52.000 But you can't...

02:09:53.000 That show, Breaking Bad...

02:09:55.000 You know, with Game of Thrones coming back.

02:09:57.000 Walking Dead.

02:09:58.000 Walking Dead.

02:09:59.000 I keep hearing that too.

02:10:00.000 That's the problem.

02:10:01.000 Have you not done Walking Dead?

02:10:02.000 Only the first couple episodes.

02:10:03.000 It was good, but dude, there's not that much time.

02:10:06.000 Oh, that's the other thing I started watching. 0.99

02:10:07.000 It's fucking Homeland. 1.00

02:10:09.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

02:10:09.000 I started that with season one. 1.00

02:10:11.000 Dude, that's good.

02:10:12.000 That show's good.

02:10:13.000 It's not what I thought it was either. 1.00

02:10:14.000 I thought it was like CSI type stupidity. 1.00

02:10:16.000 Is that the Titanic bitch girl? 1.00

02:10:18.000 Claire Danes? 0.99

02:10:19.000 Yeah.

02:10:20.000 No, no, no, no, no.

02:10:21.000 I think you're thinking of a different girl.

02:10:24.000 I think so.

02:10:26.000 Yeah, I don't think.

02:10:27.000 What is her name?

02:10:28.000 Is that her name?

02:10:28.000 Claire Danes?

02:10:29.000 Claire Danes is a Titanic girl.

02:10:30.000 I thought she was in that.

02:10:31.000 Or maybe I'm thinking of somebody else.

02:10:33.000 I don't think Claire Danes is a Titanic girl.

02:10:35.000 The Titanic girl was a little plumper. 0.80

02:10:38.000 No, that's Claire Danes. 1.00

02:10:39.000 Are you sure?

02:10:41.000 Titanic.

02:10:43.000 Uh, yeah.

02:10:44.000 Let's see.

02:10:45.000 Yep.

02:10:45.000 No.

02:10:46.000 Is that her?

02:10:46.000 No.

02:10:48.000 Yeah, no.

02:10:49.000 I don't think so.

02:10:50.000 Kate Winslet.

02:10:51.000 Yes, there you go. 0.99

02:10:53.000 Claire Danes is the one who's in this fucking, this new show, though. 1.00

02:10:57.000 I was thinking of Romeo and Juliet. 0.98

02:10:58.000 She was in Claire Danes with Leonardo DiCaprio.

02:11:01.000 That was a good movie back in the day.

02:11:02.000 Yeah, she's been in a bunch of movies. 0.95

02:11:04.000 She's good, man. 1.00

02:11:05.000 She plays a good crazy bitch, too. 1.00

02:11:08.000 She was in Les Miserables. 0.99

02:11:10.000 How do you say that?

02:11:11.000 Les Miserables.

02:11:12.000 Les Miserables.

02:11:15.000 She was in that.

02:11:16.000 She's a serious actress.

02:11:18.000 She's good in Homeland. 1.00

02:11:20.000 It's a good fucking show, dude. 1.00

02:11:21.000 Disturbing, though. 0.99

02:11:22.000 Makes you wonder about how much of this is ripped from the headlines.

02:11:26.000 Based on a true story. 0.99

02:11:29.000 That guy's a badass actor, whoever the fuck he is. 0.97

02:11:32.000 Who plays the other guy? 0.99

02:11:35.000 Whatever.

02:11:38.000 Anything to end? 1.00

02:11:39.000 Should we bring this bitch home? 1.00

02:11:41.000 Death Squad's coming to San Diego, 12-12-12. 1.00

02:11:44.000 Who?

02:11:44.000 Who are these people?

02:11:45.000 I don't know yet.

02:11:47.000 I know Sarah Tiana is going to be on there, Tony Hinchcliffe.

02:11:50.000 There's been a few other people that said that they want to come, but I haven't really.

02:11:54.000 I'm going to reschedule it this week.

02:11:55.000 December 12th is still a couple weeks away, folks.

02:11:58.000 So what you need to do is just prepare yourself for that night.

02:12:01.000 Keep checking Twitter.

02:12:02.000 We will build the anticipation.

02:12:04.000 Hopefully I can make it down there for that one.

02:12:06.000 Such a great round. 0.99

02:12:07.000 I've got a lot of shit going on right now. 0.99

02:12:11.000 Wow, I can't really talk about that in the air. 0.99

02:12:13.000 Good stuff, though, folks.

02:12:14.000 So this weekend, that's it.

02:12:17.000 Moody Theater, Austin, Texas.

02:12:19.000 Next week, Pauler Live in Bellevue, Washington with Powerful Sam Tripoli.

02:12:24.000 And then the Wilton Theater, December 21st, 2012, the End of the World show with Honey Honey, Doug Stanhope, Joey motherfucking Diaz, and moi.

02:12:34.000 And that should be pretty crazy.

02:12:36.000 That's going to be a fun show.

02:12:37.000 And no, the world's not going to end.

02:12:39.000 Relax.

02:12:40.000 We're going to be fine.

02:12:41.000 Hopefully.

02:12:41.000 Who knows?

02:12:42.000 It might not be real.

02:12:43.000 It might not be real.

02:12:44.000 Right, Brian?

02:12:45.000 Feel like it's not real?

02:12:46.000 Definitely not real.

02:12:47.000 Simulation theory, you're 100% on board now?

02:12:50.000 Yeah.

02:12:51.000 Super simulation theory.

02:12:52.000 What was the tipping point that really made you think, this world's not real?

02:12:57.000 Well, if you think of it as if it is a simulation theory, and then you start going, alright, this is hilarious.

02:13:03.000 Somewhere I'm playing on an iPhone 77, and this is just like...

02:13:07.000 Because there's just too many things that are like, alright, that's ridiculous that that just happened.

02:13:11.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:13:33.000 If you think of it as it's a simulation, it's ridiculous. 0.89

02:13:35.000 So what I've been also adding to it, that Asians are the ones that are kind of babysitting us in the simulation. 1.00

02:13:42.000 So if you talk about the simulation too much, out of nowhere an Asian will come around the corner and just stare at you. 0.98

02:13:50.000 Like, uh-oh.

02:13:51.000 Wait a minute.

02:13:52.000 Why are the Asians aliens? 1.00

02:13:54.000 I don't know!

02:13:56.000 Huh?

02:13:56.000 Do you think Asians are aliens?

02:13:57.000 No, I think Asians are like the babysitters of us in the simulation, I think. 0.98

02:14:01.000 Gotta be very careful when talking about any race.

02:14:04.000 Isn't it funny?

02:14:05.000 Like, Asian people could get pissed off at that. 1.00

02:14:07.000 They could be like, what the fuck, dude? 1.00

02:14:09.000 You know? 1.00

02:14:09.000 Yeah, because they're security. 1.00

02:14:11.000 They're mad.

02:14:12.000 You're not supposed to talk about the simulation.

02:14:13.000 Is that what it is?

02:14:14.000 Or is it you're not supposed to talk about any race at all?

02:14:19.000 Even if you're saying positive things, like the aliens might be more advanced than us, and they have more alien DNA in Asian people. 0.98

02:14:29.000 You can't say that, because that's making Asian people better, but they'll still get upset. 1.00

02:14:32.000 You're not even allowed to talk about them. 0.99

02:14:35.000 People are so fucking sensitive, Brian. 0.98

02:14:37.000 I had something weird happen to me the other day. 0.99

02:14:39.000 Have you ever had where...

02:14:40.000 I was laying down...

02:14:42.000 You might have this in the isolation tank, but maybe.

02:14:45.000 I was laying down and I had my eyes closed and I was looking at the images in my eye, like on my eyelids.

02:14:51.000 And sometimes you see little things floating around.

02:14:53.000 Sometimes you might see little things moving and stuff.

02:14:56.000 But I had full-on...

02:14:58.000 Motion video.

02:14:59.000 A person talking somewhere to somebody else, full on movement, 100 frames per second.

02:15:05.000 It was like I was watching somebody talk.

02:15:09.000 It wasn't a memory, because a memory, you think of something and you're like, oh yeah, we were sitting there and we were talking.

02:15:15.000 This was actually watching somebody talk in full video, but it was just the outline in my eyelid.

02:15:23.000 I found that trippy.

02:15:31.000 I found that trippy.

02:15:32.000 So you're saying you were hallucinating?

02:15:34.000 I was hallucinating.

02:15:35.000 Obviously, your eyes closed.

02:15:36.000 But it wasn't like the guy was tripping and melting and turning into a snake or anything.

02:15:42.000 It was like somebody just sitting there having a conversation with somebody.

02:15:45.000 But it was full motion as if I was watching somebody.

02:15:49.000 If I were to open my eyes and there was somebody standing there doing it, then I'd be like, okay, that makes sense.

02:15:53.000 But there was no one there.

02:15:54.000 And it was like...

02:15:55.000 You don't think, like, I don't dream like that.

02:15:58.000 I don't, like, if I think about somebody, you know, running, I can kind of see them running in my head, but this was, like, full-on motion video.

02:16:05.000 Like, it was weird.

02:16:06.000 You've done enough drugs that you've broken your brain.

02:16:08.000 Yeah, maybe that's it.

02:16:09.000 Is that possible?

02:16:10.000 Or I was somehow spying on a different part in the world of the simulation.

02:16:15.000 I was hacking through the firewalls.

02:16:17.000 That could be it, too.

02:16:18.000 Yeah.

02:16:19.000 That could be it too.

02:16:20.000 You never...

02:16:21.000 Yeah, you have to figure out what real is and what's not real.

02:16:25.000 Right.

02:16:26.000 What if...

02:16:27.000 The reality that we exist in...

02:16:32.000 One of the more attractive...

02:16:36.000 Parts of the simulation theory thing is that I do think that thoughts and I do think that intention can move life in a certain way.

02:16:46.000 I think it's flexible.

02:16:47.000 I think the world that we live in is a lot more flexible than we'd like to think.

02:16:51.000 And our rigid interpretation of things as being like, the only things that are real are things you can weigh or measure or knock on.

02:16:59.000 I don't think so, man. 0.98

02:17:01.000 I think there's some fucking weirdness to it all. 0.95

02:17:05.000 So the idea of a simulation theory sort of comes into play because there's certain things that do get manifested with the mind. 0.96

02:17:12.000 There's certain people that sort of almost are like extras in a movie.

02:17:17.000 There's certain events that almost are like peripheral non-events that you could...

02:17:24.000 We're good to go.

02:17:41.000 It has to do more with where you are is in your head a little bit.

02:17:47.000 When you're traveling and when you're going places, you're bringing your world to these other places and influencing it.

02:17:56.000 When you go to Starbucks, when you get in your house, you're bringing your world everywhere you go.

02:18:02.000 And I don't know how much of what goes on outside your world really involves you.

02:18:06.000 There might be a bunch of different parallel worlds intersecting with each other all the time. 0.96

02:18:10.000 We're just only able to perceive the shit that we consider to be our world. 0.97

02:18:14.000 We're told deja vu is our mind thinking of something before it's actually done. 0.97

02:18:18.000 Like if you go into a room, your brain actually thinks of something like a micro, micro, microsecond before you actually think of it.

02:18:25.000 And so it feels like deja vu.

02:18:26.000 That's what scientists are saying.

02:18:28.000 But what if that is something like, no, we've been in this simulation before. 0.99

02:18:31.000 We've been in this situation before, but last time we died in a fucking motorcycle accident. 0.98

02:18:36.000 This time we're doing it again. 0.99

02:18:38.000 It could be.

02:18:39.000 There's also the ideas that every thought that you make, this is one of the weirdest.

02:18:44.000 Theories that I've ever heard about reality.

02:18:47.000 Every decision you make, every direction you choose to go in, branches you off into a completely separate area of the universe, and it creates an entirely new universe with new possibilities and new probabilities.

02:19:01.000 It's like one of the things that they used to say about time travel is you could never really go back in time, because if you did, you could affect The reality of just by existing in the past, you could affect the future so much that you might never have been born.

02:19:13.000 You could really fuck up the possibilities for everything.

02:19:17.000 Like you could throw a ripple into the wave.

02:19:20.000 Well, the idea is that you sort of do that with every decision you make and every direction you move in.

02:19:26.000 And that not only is that possibility a reality, but that all the other possibilities are alternate realities that you don't experience.

02:19:37.000 But you could have made every wrong choice, every possible choice, and they all branch off into completely new universes.

02:19:44.000 And that all these things are going on together at the same time.

02:19:46.000 And that when you're having a deja vu, you're almost like crisscrossing with your possible worlds.

02:19:52.000 And you have like a blip in the matrix, a blip in time.

02:19:55.000 Yeah, a glitch.

02:19:56.000 Yeah.

02:19:57.000 We know what we can measure.

02:19:59.000 We know that when you get in the car and you hit the gas, you know exactly how fast you go, you look at the speedometer.

02:20:05.000 But what we don't know is what we're not measuring.

02:20:08.000 Weird feelings between people.

02:20:10.000 You think about someone.

02:20:11.000 They call. 0.99

02:20:12.000 There's weird shit that we don't understand. 0.99

02:20:14.000 That we don't measure. 0.99

02:20:16.000 And so we kind of like push it under the mattress. 1.00

02:20:18.000 But that shit is tangible. 0.99

02:20:21.000 The feeling that you get when someone doesn't like you. 1.00

02:20:23.000 You know?

02:20:24.000 Like, have you ever been around someone?

02:20:25.000 Especially if you're around like...

02:20:27.000 A girl and her friend doesn't like you and you don't even have to like say a word you just feel it yeah you feel like oh what the fuck's going on here that that's a real that's a real energy being passed back and forth and that can really affect your life if that person's in your life that gross feeling now becomes a part of your reality that it actually shapes your possibilities I don't know I think I think we're learning a lot

02:20:57.000 about reality, about what you can and can't do to influence it, what you can and can't do to shape it. 0.99

02:21:03.000 We're learning a lot about it by doing this fucking show. 0.99

02:21:07.000 We're changing reality, Brian. 0.99

02:21:08.000 Do you know that?

02:21:09.000 A lot of people, their realities are being changed because of this show.

02:21:14.000 They get access to different ideas now.

02:21:16.000 They don't exist.

02:21:17.000 They don't exist?

02:21:17.000 I think they do.

02:21:18.000 I think we don't exist.

02:21:19.000 How about that?

02:21:21.000 How about we have been created by other people's imaginations to rescue them from South Dakota?

02:21:26.000 How about that?

02:21:28.000 Could be.

02:21:29.000 In their world, you don't exist.

02:21:32.000 Right. 1.00

02:21:33.000 What the fuck kind of hippie bullshit is this, folks? 1.00

02:21:35.000 This is no way to end a sensible podcast with the great John McAfee on the run in Belize. 1.00

02:21:42.000 This has been a wonderful experience.

02:21:46.000 I'm glad you came along with us on this little magical mystery tour.

02:21:49.000 We will be back tomorrow.

02:21:51.000 Looks like we've got to do tomorrow fairly early, like noon-ish, with the great Duncan Trussell. 0.92

02:21:56.000 I've got some shit I've got to do in the afternoon. 0.99

02:21:58.000 So that will be tomorrow's podcast, and then Thursday, the one and only Eddie motherfucking Bravo, and that will also be around the same time, which is 12-ish p.m., Pacific Time, you fucking freaks. 0.99

02:22:13.000 And both of those will be done with shitty internet, so good luck trying to watch it on Ustream. 0.60

02:22:18.000 But we'll have it up on iTunes.

02:22:19.000 And we'll eventually get that internet thing figured out, even if I have to call our congressman.

02:22:24.000 I have to get Joe Biden on the phone!

02:22:26.000 We're gonna straighten this out!

02:22:27.000 If I need to make a donation!

02:22:29.000 We're gonna work it out, folks.

02:22:30.000 We're gonna keep it together.

02:22:32.000 We're gonna make it grow.

02:22:33.000 We're all on this freak ride together.

02:22:36.000 Anything to say, Brian?

02:22:37.000 Anything to add to all these beautiful people out there? 1.00

02:22:40.000 Suck it! 1.00

02:22:41.000 Hollywood Improv, December 20th. 1.00

02:22:43.000 American Comedy Co.

02:22:45.000 in San Diego, 12-12-12.

02:22:47.000 Okay. 1.00

02:22:48.000 You heard it all there, you fucks. 1.00

02:22:50.000 And we'll see you. 0.99

02:22:51.000 Brian will be with me and the great Duncan Trussell this Saturday night in Austin, Texas at the Moody Theater. 0.99

02:22:57.000 Alright, you fucks. 1.00

02:22:58.000 We love the shit out of you. 1.00

02:22:59.000 We never anticipated any of this happening and we're enjoying every step of the way. 0.94

02:23:03.000 And, uh... 0.95

02:23:05.000 We love the fuck out of you. 0.62

02:23:07.000 We'll see you soon. 0.72

02:23:08.000 Bye-bye!

The Joe Rogan Experience - November 27, 2012

Joe Rogan Experience #290 - John McAfee

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Transcript