The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #299 - Honey Honey

00:00:02.000 Listen to me, you dirty fucks, because I'm only going to say this once. 1.00

00:00:06.000 The end of the world show. 1.00

00:00:08.000 There's 68 fucking tickets left. 0.99

00:00:10.000 They're probably all spread out. 1.00

00:00:12.000 You're probably not going to get to sit with your buddies, but you're going to have to deal with that shit, okay? 1.00

00:00:17.000 That's how the world works. 1.00

00:00:19.000 If you don't get your shit together early and get the tickets, you're going to have to live in the fucking boonies for the show. 1.00

00:00:24.000 You're going to have to... 1.00

00:00:25.000 Just go out there, get your freak on, sit with some other people.

00:00:28.000 They will probably be wearing Death Squad t-shirts.

00:00:32.000 You'll be fine! 0.99

00:00:35.000 Honey Honey Band, Joey motherfucking Diaz, Doug Stanhope, and moi. 0.98

00:00:42.000 12-21-2012. 0.91

00:00:44.000 Will it really be the end of the world? 0.99

00:00:45.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.96

00:00:47.000 No one's ever predicted anything right, ever. 0.99

00:00:49.000 Do you know that?

00:00:50.000 Okay, and if the Mayans were so clever, where the fuck are they now? 0.99

00:00:54.000 Exactly. 0.99

00:00:56.000 I don't know.

00:00:59.000 This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com.

00:01:01.000 If you go to Onnit.com, you can get yourself some Alpha Brain or some Shroom Tech or some upgraded coffee.

00:01:09.000 We just started selling Dave Asprey's Bulletproof Coffee.

00:01:12.000 Did you know that a lot of coffee, when you buy it, this is really kind of crazy, but a lot of coffee, when you buy it, it has fungus on it, so it's not healthy for you.

00:01:21.000 I did not know that until we had the Dave Asprey Podcast, and he explained it to us.

00:01:26.000 His coffee does not have any of those issues.

00:01:30.000 He believes that that's one of the reasons why coffee has gotten a bad rap from people as far as health tests.

00:01:36.000 He feels like more tests need to be done because the negative health repercussions, he believes, a lot of them stem from toxic mold that's on your coffee. 1.00

00:01:46.000 Crazy shit. 0.99

00:01:47.000 If you go to bulletproofexec.com, he'll explain everything far better than me because he's actually smart and not just repeating shit that smart people have already figured out like me. 0.99

00:01:57.000 Also at Onnit, we sell kettlebells and battle robes and basically all shit manly, okay? 0.95

00:02:03.000 If you're looking to get your fucking life together and live at your optimum best, we sell all sorts of supplements for that. 0.99

00:02:10.000 We got a lot of crazy shit coming down the pipe. 0.99

00:02:12.000 We have a lot of new stuff at Onnit. 0.99

00:02:14.000 We're constantly trying to Boner pills?

00:02:17.000 We're working on the testosterone booster.

00:02:19.000 There's apparently a bunch of different natural herbs like Tongat Ali and a bunch of different ones that have actually been shown to have a real effect on your body's production of testosterone.

00:02:34.000 Fascinating stuff.

00:02:35.000 I need instant boner pills.

00:02:36.000 I don't need this long-term one.

00:02:37.000 Well, you need that stuff that you were taking, which was basically some of a Viagra.

00:02:41.000 Right.

00:02:42.000 They kind of, like, fudge it.

00:02:43.000 According to Aubrey, Aubrey explained to us how these boner pills work.

00:02:47.000 When you buy, like, those at the supermarket or drugstore or whatever, those actually do work.

00:02:51.000 And one of the reasons why they work is because a lot of these companies, they take and they buy...

00:02:57.000 I forget the exact chemical name for Viagra, but whatever it is, they buy that stuff in bulk, and then they throw it in their supplements. 1.00

00:03:04.000 So yeah, you take it, you get a boner, because it's Viagra, you fuck. 0.99

00:03:07.000 Because I guess there's like this loophole where the FCC, or not the FCC, but the FDA. A. Yeah, NWA. Food and Drug Administration. 1.00

00:03:14.000 Yeah, they give you like a warning.

00:03:16.000 Yes.

00:03:17.000 You know, if they catch you.

00:03:18.000 Yeah, it's like a little fine.

00:03:19.000 And then if you get busted again, like the third time, apparently it's big.

00:03:24.000 Yeah, and then you just change the company.

00:03:25.000 So that's what the boner pills are.

00:03:26.000 We don't have anything fake, okay?

00:03:28.000 Everything we're selling, especially in regards to supplements...

00:03:31.000 It's very important.

00:03:32.000 Brian and I sort of agreed this.

00:03:34.000 When we first started taking on sponsors, we didn't want to take on anybody shady.

00:03:38.000 We've passed on people.

00:03:40.000 We've had some offers that would have paid us money.

00:03:42.000 We were like, I don't think we should be involved with that.

00:03:45.000 We only want to be involved with people that are doing legit, honorable things.

00:03:51.000 One of the coolest things on it is...

00:03:54.000 The supplements are very good.

00:03:55.000 They're the highest quality available.

00:03:57.000 But if you don't like, if you order 30 pills of AlphaBrain, you try it, you say this doesn't do anything for me, you can get 100% of your money back.

00:04:03.000 You don't have to return the product. 1.00

00:04:04.000 You just say this shit sucks. 1.00

00:04:06.000 That's how, first of all, how confident we are that what we're selling you actually works. 1.00

00:04:10.000 If you're a mess and your health is not in order, you've got to deal with that first before you think about any of the effects of supplements, especially something subtle and although effective like nootropics.

00:04:20.000 You've got to get your body together.

00:04:23.000 Eat healthy. 0.93

00:04:24.000 Drink a fuckload of water. 0.90

00:04:25.000 If you're taking opiates, stop. 0.97

00:04:28.000 If you're smoking cigarettes, please try to stop. 0.96

00:04:31.000 Drink a fuckload of water. 0.96

00:04:32.000 What is that? 0.99

00:04:33.000 Don't take this.

00:04:34.000 If you ever find this boner, don't take it.

00:04:37.000 That's not good?

00:04:37.000 No, because I thought it was good because the guy said it was awesome, but look at the bottom right.

00:04:40.000 It says one capsule for three days.

00:04:42.000 I had a boner for three days, so don't do that.

00:04:45.000 Oh, well, you know what that means?

00:04:46.000 Apparently, the way it works is there's Viagra, but then there's Cialis, and Cialis will last like a couple of days.

00:04:56.000 So that's probably what they put in that one.

00:04:58.000 That's not a good idea. 0.99

00:05:00.000 They're selling you some fucking drugs and they're sneaking them in. 0.99

00:05:04.000 Well, that's the thing about supplements. 0.99

00:05:05.000 It's a funky thing because the government, although obviously they don't do the best job of regulating the dangerous chemicals and actual pharmaceutical...

00:05:16.000 Because there's a lot of them that wind up being really dangerous.

00:05:19.000 A lot of them that they pass, that people wind up dying from and getting strokes.

00:05:24.000 I mean, we've all heard those late night lawsuits where someone who was on X drug during the period of this year and that year when it snuck through and something was really bad for you.

00:05:33.000 But the supplement industry, it's not really regulated at all.

00:05:36.000 It's really kind of a Wild West situation.

00:05:38.000 That's why it's really difficult when it comes to something like a nootropic.

00:05:42.000 It's like, does this really work?

00:05:43.000 Is this real?

00:05:45.000 On Onnit.com, if you go there, there's a science page that explains all of the clinical studies that have been done on the various ingredients and what's good about them and what's been shown, how they've been shown to improve people's test scores.

00:05:58.000 Anecdotal evidence, I'm a huge fan of it.

00:06:00.000 Poker players, a lot of poker players, love Alpha Brain.

00:06:03.000 It's just another thing that you should be doing to keep your body functioning at an optimal level.

00:06:10.000 It's not the one thing that's going to fix you, but it is another thing that will help you.

00:06:13.000 It is all the various nutrients that support the brain's production of human neurotransmitters.

00:06:20.000 And even Dennis McKenna was impressed by our ingredients, which was very exciting.

00:06:24.000 Use the code name ROGAN and save yourself 10% off any and all.

00:06:32.000 We have too many sponsors today.

00:06:34.000 Do you have any more? 0.98

00:06:35.000 Yeah, we have a fucking shitload. 0.99

00:06:36.000 You want to say something? 0.99

00:06:38.000 Yeah, I just got my Ting phone.

00:06:39.000 Yes, Ting's our next sponsor.

00:06:41.000 How crazy.

00:06:41.000 I said, that's our next sponsor.

00:06:43.000 Oh, sweet, because they finally gave me one of these Samsung Galaxy S3s, which I've been playing around like crazy with.

00:06:50.000 It's great, man. 0.97

00:06:51.000 That fucking big screen really is a big difference. 0.99

00:06:53.000 I told you. 0.99

00:06:53.000 It's a game changer. 0.99

00:06:54.000 When you go online, it's a game changer. 1.00

00:06:56.000 Apple, you fucked up. 1.00

00:06:58.000 You should have just admitted that you fucked up and went with the bigger screen. 1.00

00:07:02.000 Who's working over at Apple now? 0.99

00:07:03.000 Steve Jobs probably would have went with the bigger screen.

00:07:05.000 And you know what feels great about it, because I'm going to be using it as my second phone, is that if you don't want to pay for it, you could just lower your minutes down to almost nothing per month.

00:07:19.000 I think the lowest, it was like six bucks a month for having just nothing.

00:07:24.000 How many minutes is it?

00:07:26.000 I think you pay per minute when you're down at six bucks a month.

00:07:29.000 Oh, wow.

00:07:29.000 So it's like when you're in a foreign country.

00:07:31.000 Yeah.

00:07:31.000 So you could just pretty much fall off the face of the planet with that phone if you want.

00:07:35.000 You know, I know a lot of people are down to no phone calls.

00:07:38.000 They're like, oh, you text me.

00:07:39.000 If you call them up, they don't answer.

00:07:41.000 And it says, hey, don't leave me a message.

00:07:42.000 Leave me a text.

00:07:43.000 I don't listen to my voicemails.

00:07:44.000 I know like 10 people that rock it like that.

00:07:48.000 What 10 is, what Brian's talking about...

00:07:51.000 And unfortunately, Honey Honey is just sitting here staring. 1.00

00:07:53.000 No, we're absorbing all this information.

00:07:55.000 There's nothing to absorb.

00:07:56.000 There's nothing here.

00:07:57.000 But they have badass phones, and they're pretty much unlocked on Ting's network.

00:08:02.000 So you can pretty much just get a sweet phone.

00:08:04.000 You don't have to have any contract.

00:08:05.000 You go there, and I think if you put in, what is it, Ting slash Joe? 0.98

00:08:09.000 It's rogan.ting.com.

00:08:11.000 If you go to rogan.ting.com, first of all, you save $50 off of any of these really sweet Android phones. 0.97

00:08:18.000 They have the Note as well, which is that Samsung fucking giant tablet phone. 0.93

00:08:23.000 That thing is huge. 1.00

00:08:24.000 It's so ridiculous. 0.95

00:08:25.000 It's so awesome, though. 0.99

00:08:26.000 I must possess it.

00:08:27.000 It's like walking around with an iPad in your pocket.

00:08:29.000 When I look at it, I get envy, because people at shows, they come and they take pictures with me after the shows, and so many of them have that note, and I always go, ooh, I wish I had your phone.

00:08:37.000 I want your phone.

00:08:39.000 I've got phone envy.

00:08:40.000 But the Galaxy S3 is the phone envy.

00:08:42.000 I'm fine with that.

00:08:43.000 That one's fine.

00:08:45.000 It doesn't really need to be any bigger.

00:08:46.000 But the iPhone, it leaves me lacking.

00:08:48.000 I'm sad.

00:08:49.000 Do you remember, we've had phone envy for so long, me and you, you would have the E715, we're like, oh my god, they just released the E815, like the Motorola, the flip phones. 0.99

00:08:58.000 Yeah, those little stupid phones. 0.99

00:08:59.000 But I took a great fucking picture with that phone, one of the greatest pictures I've ever took in my life. 1.00

00:09:04.000 The hooker. 1.00

00:09:05.000 We were working in downtown LA, and it's not the downtown LA of today, which is, what's that word? 0.68

00:09:13.000 What's that word when they move into a neighborhood?

00:09:15.000 Gentrifying?

00:09:16.000 Black cloud?

00:09:17.000 Black cloud?

00:09:17.000 Or white cloud?

00:09:18.000 This woman was walking by, and she was eating a meatball sub, and she had a wig on, and she was an overweight African American hooker. 1.00

00:09:26.000 And I looked at her, and she goes, how you doing? 0.99

00:09:29.000 I go, what's up, baby?

00:09:30.000 And she pulls a tit out. 0.86

00:09:33.000 As I'm taking a picture of her with a meatball sub in one hand and a tit in the other.

00:09:38.000 And it's perfectly framed.

00:09:40.000 Like, if I was a conspiracy theorist, I would say, well, this was fake.

00:09:43.000 This is obviously Photoshop.

00:09:45.000 This never really took place.

00:09:46.000 Did you print it out?

00:09:48.000 I think it's online, right?

00:09:49.000 Can you find it?

00:09:50.000 Pull it up. 0.98

00:09:51.000 Oh, it's a woman's breast. 0.98

00:09:53.000 It's not even pornographic. 0.98

00:09:56.000 Oh, yeah.

00:09:57.000 It's disturbing looking.

00:09:58.000 Listen, you can see a male's breast. 1.00

00:09:59.000 Why can't you see a woman's breast? 1.00

00:10:01.000 You know what's fascinating?

00:10:02.000 You can see Chaz Palminteri's breast.

00:10:04.000 Did you know that?

00:10:04.000 I didn't know that.

00:10:05.000 Yes.

00:10:06.000 Not Chaz Palminteri. 0.52

00:10:07.000 Chaz Bono.

00:10:08.000 I get him confused.

00:10:10.000 Not the surprise.

00:10:11.000 The Bronxdale.

00:10:13.000 I bet you can see that too.

00:10:14.000 I bet you can see his as well.

00:10:15.000 He's a man.

00:10:16.000 No disrespect to Mr. Palminteri.

00:10:18.000 It was a slip.

00:10:18.000 I meant Chaz Bono, who used to be...

00:10:21.000 It used to be Chassidy Bono, and then it's the famous daughter of Cher and got a sex change. 1.00

00:10:26.000 Well, there was like these photos of her walking down the beach topless, because now she's a man.

00:10:31.000 Now she's got like a beard, so she's allowed to walk topless. 0.99

00:10:36.000 So she's taking advantage of that. 0.82

00:10:38.000 She's walking topless. 0.50

00:10:39.000 That's her. 0.88

00:10:40.000 That's her. 0.88

00:10:40.000 That's the girl. 0.88

00:10:41.000 That's the lady. 1.00

00:10:41.000 That is a real picture. 1.00

00:10:43.000 Pull that shit up all the way. 1.00

00:10:44.000 Ustream is with us. 1.00

00:10:45.000 Don't worry.

00:10:46.000 Brad will be fine with it.

00:10:48.000 Don't do it, Brian.

00:10:49.000 I'll do that.

00:10:50.000 Just show them the meatball sub.

00:10:52.000 Just the meatball sub in her hand.

00:10:54.000 Come on.

00:10:54.000 How does that happen?

00:10:56.000 The photo's perfectly framed.

00:10:58.000 Listen, you can Photoshop one.

00:11:00.000 Make a copy of that.

00:11:01.000 Make a copy of that and just put a little blurry over the nipple.

00:11:05.000 That'll only take you a second to do, right?

00:11:08.000 Can you do that, Brian? 1.00

00:11:11.000 Fucking silly bitch. 1.00

00:11:14.000 The folks that are listening to this are not getting the full experience. 1.00

00:11:18.000 But you could find...

00:11:19.000 What is the video?

00:11:20.000 If you just type blackhookerrogan... 0.99

00:11:23.000 There you go.

00:11:24.000 That's my girl.

00:11:26.000 Greatest picture I ever took. 1.00

00:11:27.000 And I took one of those stupid flip phones. 1.00

00:11:28.000 So the phones that Ting has are far superior. 1.00

00:11:31.000 They're the best Android phones that you could buy.

00:11:33.000 Can you imagine the areolas on those phones? 0.82

00:11:35.000 They must be crazy.

00:11:36.000 It would be so crystal clear. 0.58

00:11:38.000 Then people would really say that I faked it.

00:11:41.000 It's an awesome company.

00:11:42.000 They don't have contracts.

00:11:43.000 They have really reasonable rates.

00:11:45.000 And if you don't use all the minutes in your plan, they refund you the money on the next bill. 0.78

00:11:51.000 That's tits. 1.00

00:11:51.000 They knock your next bill down. 1.00

00:11:53.000 It's like the best company.

00:11:55.000 They're ethical.

00:11:56.000 They're not evil.

00:11:56.000 It's possible to run a business and not be evil.

00:11:59.000 It's possible to provide an excellent service, which, by the way, is off the Sprint backbone.

00:12:04.000 They're on the Sprint backbone, so you're getting Sprint coverage. 0.94

00:12:07.000 It's not like fucking Fred's cell phone service. 0.97

00:12:09.000 It's like legit. 0.97

00:12:11.000 It's a huge nationwide network that's really excellent.

00:12:14.000 And it's CDMA, which I prefer to GSM. GSM is AT&T. I have both, but AT&T works better overseas.

00:12:22.000 Most people accept it overseas.

00:12:24.000 But CDMA, I find like Verizon and Sprint, I find it just seems to be a better coverage.

00:12:29.000 That's just where we live.

00:12:31.000 Rogan.ting.com. 1.00

00:12:33.000 Go there, save yourself 50 bucks, you dirty fucks. 1.00

00:12:36.000 You know that video game's pretty badass that I've been playing. 1.00

00:12:39.000 Yes, Kerosene Games.

00:12:40.000 This is our last sponsor.

00:12:42.000 Bladeslinger is this game that Kerosene Games...

00:12:45.000 We, you know...

00:12:46.000 We want to make sure, again as we said, that anything we get involved with is something that we would actually use, something that we would actually enjoy, and something that is coming from a really good place.

00:12:58.000 There's a lot of video games that they make for the iPad that really are not really iPad games.

00:13:03.000 They're like PC games that they port over to it. 0.96

00:13:06.000 And they kind of suck. 0.99

00:13:07.000 A lot of them suck. 0.99

00:13:08.000 The way that this company, Kerosene Games, that makes Bladeslingers, they've made this game from the ground up for iPads and iPhones. 0.96

00:13:17.000 So it's very intuitive touch controls.

00:13:20.000 And with the ability that they have, these processors, For these iPads now and phones, that was always an issue with computer games back in the day.

00:13:30.000 It was like, could your video card handle it?

00:13:32.000 You know, like really stunning graphics.

00:13:34.000 Remember playing Quake and those games when video cards were first coming out and people would have dual SLIs where they would have two video cards just to power the graphics. 0.98

00:13:45.000 Well, these fucking iPads are so powerful now. 0.83

00:13:47.000 I mean, you can see really amazing graphics on an iPad. 0.99

00:13:50.000 It's really nuts.

00:13:51.000 We live in strange times.

00:13:53.000 Did you just say an iPad?

00:13:54.000 iPad.

00:13:54.000 I didn't say that.

00:13:55.000 I just repeated you. 0.96

00:13:57.000 iPad, goddammit. 0.97

00:13:58.000 Slip of the tongue. 0.98

00:13:59.000 The game is called Blade Slimmer.

00:14:01.000 This is their first game.

00:14:02.000 It will be out for the...

00:14:04.000 Android operating system in January or February, and it will probably only work on the more advanced Android phones, like the newer.

00:14:13.000 Because Android, you know, they have like Ice Cream...

00:14:15.000 What is it?

00:14:16.000 Ice Cream Sundae or something like that?

00:14:18.000 They have a bunch of weird names for their operating systems. 0.98

00:14:21.000 So as long as you have the latest shit, it'll probably work if it's a good one. 0.84

00:14:24.000 But again, the game is Blade Slinger. 0.99

00:14:26.000 It's a fucking badass game. 0.97

00:14:27.000 It's only $2.99, which I think is very reasonable. 0.99

00:14:30.000 You know, I think it's on sale right now.

00:14:32.000 Oh, that's right.

00:14:32.000 That's right.

00:14:33.000 It's on sale for 99 cents.

00:14:35.000 Yeah, so I think the end of the year, you should totally buy it now.

00:14:38.000 It's 99 cents. 0.99

00:14:38.000 What the fuck is... 0.99

00:14:39.000 If you can give a homeless person a dollar, you can buy a game that will... 1.00

00:14:45.000 Yeah, that's ridiculous. 0.89

00:14:46.000 That's amazing. 0.98

00:14:47.000 I didn't know that it...

00:14:48.000 Yeah.

00:14:49.000 I didn't even think about it that way.

00:14:50.000 You know?

00:14:51.000 Like a homeless guy on a dollar.

00:14:52.000 Yeah.

00:14:53.000 Like, this is something that you will enjoy.

00:14:56.000 That homeless guy is just going to be like, ooh, a dollar...

00:14:58.000 Yes, exactly.

00:15:00.000 And this game... 0.99

00:15:02.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

00:15:05.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:15:06.000 If you go to kerosengames.com forward slash bladeslinger, there's a really cool preview. 0.98

00:15:14.000 We could actually show it here, and it'll look good, as opposed to at my stupid studio, which has shit internet bandwidth. 0.99

00:15:21.000 I have a new studio, but the internet sucks, a fat one. 0.99

00:15:23.000 So we're here. 0.93

00:15:24.000 Oh, dear.

00:15:24.000 That's why we're here.

00:15:25.000 Where's the new studio?

00:15:26.000 It's in Points Unknown.

00:15:29.000 Understood. 0.99

00:15:30.000 I can't tell the people on the internet where the fuck your studio is. 0.99

00:15:33.000 Where's the phone number, man? 0.99

00:15:35.000 I just want to call and talk to you.

00:15:37.000 Anyway, go there.

00:15:39.000 Go check it out. 1.00

00:15:40.000 Go fuck yourself. 1.00

00:15:41.000 Okay. 1.00

00:15:42.000 Honey Honey's here. 0.99

00:15:43.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:15:44.000 Do you want to look at a little video of that Blade Singer? 0.99

00:15:45.000 Sure.

00:15:46.000 Put it on.

00:15:47.000 Oh, wait.

00:15:47.000 Never mind.

00:15:47.000 There's an advertisement.

00:15:53.000 Kerosene Games, listen to me. 1.00

00:15:55.000 Take that fucking ad off. 0.99

00:15:56.000 You're selling a video game and you're going to have an ad in the front of it. 1.00

00:16:01.000 They're fucking you, man. 1.00

00:16:02.000 They're ruining your click-through rates. 1.00

00:16:05.000 This doesn't have one.

00:16:06.000 Here we go.

00:16:09.000 So this is the game graphics, actually.

00:16:12.000 Which looks to me almost like an Xbox and a PS3. I hope that's not the real narrator.

00:16:23.000 That's not the narrator.

00:16:25.000 This is a four-year-old kid.

00:16:26.000 One of the things we want to call attention to here...

00:16:29.000 Oh, this is just like one of those where it's a preview of the game.

00:16:35.000 It's not like a trailer or anything.

00:16:37.000 Yeah, but it's cool.

00:16:40.000 You use your iPad to swipe and do certain signs when you're attacking and stuff like that, but the graphics are amazing.

00:16:47.000 It's a fun game, and I think they're going to be adding on to it because it's a game that I see has a good future where they can just add new maps and stuff like that because they already have the groundwork down.

00:17:01.000 Yeah.

00:17:02.000 Powerful Bladeslinger.

00:17:03.000 Yeah.

00:17:03.000 Go check it out.

00:17:04.000 Like I said, it's a dollar now.

00:17:06.000 That's the latest.

00:17:08.000 So they're very happy with it.

00:17:10.000 It's until December 29th or so.

00:17:14.000 And then it'll return to its normal price.

00:17:17.000 So right now...

00:17:17.000 Is this for your cell phone?

00:17:18.000 Get it for a buck.

00:17:19.000 You are not paying attention at all.

00:17:21.000 I am!

00:17:22.000 We're selling people.

00:17:23.000 We're selling souls.

00:17:24.000 Yeah.

00:17:24.000 Souls $1.

00:17:25.000 This is some seriously high technology.

00:17:28.000 Honey, honey is here.

00:17:31.000 Brian, cue the music.

00:17:32.000 Let's get the party started.

00:17:34.000 That was probably a long-ass series of commercials.

00:17:37.000 The Joe Rogan experience.

00:17:40.000 Our commercials are long, they're wordy, but we get them out of the way.

00:17:50.000 And then once they're done, they're done.

00:17:52.000 But shorter than Tom Segura and Christina Pazitsky's podcast.

00:17:55.000 They have longer commercials than us?

00:17:56.000 Yeah, every time I count to where they actually start the show, it's like 26 minutes in. 0.83

00:18:01.000 They do it the same style where they just start talking and then they sort of fuck around and go off on tangents.

00:18:06.000 And then go back to tour dates and stuff. 0.97

00:18:09.000 It's weird.

00:18:09.000 That's how we started it.

00:18:11.000 It's a good way to do it, though, I think. 1.00

00:18:12.000 They keep trying to pressure me to put commercials inside of podcasts, and I keep telling them to go fuck themselves. 0.99

00:18:19.000 You mean candidly and casually? 0.99

00:18:20.000 No, they bring it up.

00:18:21.000 They say, we'd like you to start introducing commercials in the middle of the podcast, and they can be pre-recorded, and we'll stick them in afterwards, but that seems sleazy.

00:18:31.000 It seems like it interrupts the flow of the conversation, right?

00:18:35.000 You guys hammered yet?

00:18:37.000 I feel warm.

00:18:38.000 I feel pretty good.

00:18:39.000 Getting toasty?

00:18:40.000 Yeah, we're drinking Maker's Mark. 1.00

00:18:42.000 Shout out to my boy Justin, who loves this shit. 1.00

00:18:45.000 Hey Justin. 1.00

00:18:47.000 My friend Justin, every time we go out, he orders this shit. 1.00

00:18:49.000 Makers. 1.00

00:18:50.000 Makers and Coke.

00:18:52.000 Why put the coke in it, though?

00:18:53.000 Why not just go right with the makers? 1.00

00:18:54.000 Because he's seven feet tall and he does whatever the fuck he wants. 0.99

00:18:56.000 Trust me. 1.00

00:18:57.000 I would still shoot him straight. 0.92

00:18:59.000 Justin wants to put coke in his makers. 0.98

00:19:01.000 You just let him.

00:19:02.000 Wow.

00:19:03.000 He's the biggest human I know.

00:19:04.000 I like coke zero.

00:19:06.000 I like he's a slow mover.

00:19:08.000 Well, you might be able to outrun him.

00:19:11.000 It might be. 1.00

00:19:11.000 But goddamn, when he caught you, you'd be in fucking lots of trouble. 1.00

00:19:14.000 I have a friend who's a true giant. 1.00

00:19:17.000 Really sweetheart of a guy.

00:19:18.000 This is the dude?

00:19:19.000 Yeah.

00:19:19.000 He's a true giant.

00:19:21.000 He's enormous. 1.00

00:19:21.000 He talks like a normal guy, but he's just a huge fucking guy. 1.00

00:19:28.000 That's funny how people are just not created equal. 0.99

00:19:31.000 There's dudes like that.

00:19:33.000 There's a whole...

00:19:34.000 Our tour manager is 6'7", and he talks about that a lot.

00:19:37.000 He's like, it's really difficult. 0.87

00:19:39.000 You know, you go to, like, when we're on tour, you're at the holiday, and he's like, and the shower only comes up to my chest between my nipples.

00:19:45.000 Like, you know, it's a whole... 0.76

00:19:47.000 He's big and tall, you know what I mean?

00:19:49.000 He can never find pants that fit him, you know, the way he'd like to...

00:19:54.000 To represent pants.

00:19:55.000 I was watching TV today, and there was a fight from 2009 with this guy, Semi Schilt.

00:20:02.000 Semi Schilt used to be the K-1 Grand Prix champion.

00:20:05.000 I think he's won it at least three, if not four times.

00:20:08.000 He's 6'11".

00:20:10.000 Oh my God.

00:20:11.000 6'11", 300 pounds.

00:20:13.000 It's just like, good luck.

00:20:15.000 Go fight that guy. 1.00

00:20:16.000 He's a fucking legit giant. 1.00

00:20:19.000 I mean, he really is a giant. 0.99

00:20:21.000 Yeah, but isn't like small and mighty, though?

00:20:22.000 Like, what about that guy?

00:20:23.000 Not once the big guys learn how to fight.

00:20:26.000 Okay.

00:20:26.000 Once the big guys learn how to fight, too.

00:20:28.000 The idea is that the small man with skill can overcome the big man who has no skill. 1.00

00:20:33.000 I still maintain that most of the time that's accurate, but a big man with skill is a fucking pain in the ass. 1.00

00:20:39.000 Yeah, but aren't the big ones like the stupid ones? 1.00

00:20:42.000 Absolutely. 1.00

00:20:42.000 You would like to think that. 1.00

00:20:43.000 Everybody would like to think that good-looking guys are stupid, too. 1.00

00:20:46.000 Well, good-looking women, a lot of people would like to think they're stupid. 1.00

00:20:49.000 Nobody wants to think there's a girl who's way hotter than you and also way smarter than you. 1.00

00:20:53.000 That's too...

00:20:54.000 That's depressing. 1.00

00:20:55.000 Yeah, it's depressing as fuck. 1.00

00:20:57.000 That bitch just got all aces. 1.00

00:20:59.000 You know, she was born with a bunch of aces. 1.00

00:21:01.000 Boobs. 1.00

00:21:02.000 Yeah, it's not fair.

00:21:03.000 It's totally not fair.

00:21:05.000 But that's life.

00:21:06.000 But then they have to deal with everybody trying to drag them down.

00:21:09.000 That must be tough.

00:21:10.000 Yeah, I would guess. 0.98

00:21:11.000 I would guess it would be really hard to be a hot chick, to deal with a lot of cunty women. 1.00

00:21:14.000 I've seen women get cunty with pretty girls for no reason. 1.00

00:21:19.000 Someone will come up and ask for directions or something like that.

00:21:23.000 I've seen cunty women just immediately going, do you know where you're going? 1.00

00:21:28.000 How much do you know this area?

00:21:30.000 You know, like, immediately dismissive. 1.00

00:21:33.000 Fuck you, Big Tits. 1.00

00:21:34.000 Yeah, like, that girl's stealing something from her by existing, by being in front of her. 1.00

00:21:40.000 She's not a sister.

00:21:41.000 She's not, you know, a fellow human to be.

00:21:43.000 That's like someone who's taking away from your value by their very existence.

00:21:48.000 You know?

00:21:49.000 I knew a girl who got furious at a guy because he brought a really hot girl to her wedding. 1.00

00:21:56.000 And everybody was paying attention to the girl.

00:21:59.000 What?

00:21:59.000 So yeah, she literally said, you know, she was like yelling at him.

00:22:02.000 Why the fuck did you bring that bitch to my wedding? 1.00

00:22:05.000 And me and the girl was like a sweetheart. 1.00

00:22:07.000 She was a very nice girl.

00:22:08.000 Didn't do anything to anybody.

00:22:09.000 But just because she was there.

00:22:12.000 She dressed nice and apparently she was very beautiful.

00:22:15.000 And the bride was furious. 0.97

00:22:16.000 Like it took away from her big day. 1.00

00:22:18.000 And she kept saying, that fucking bitch she took away from my big day. 1.00

00:22:21.000 Isn't that amazing? 1.00

00:22:22.000 God, the whole wedding thing fucking freaks me out. 0.96

00:22:24.000 That pressure of it needing to be this huge monumental thing. 1.00

00:22:27.000 She's a crazy bitch. 1.00

00:22:28.000 That guy should get a divorce immediately. 1.00

00:22:31.000 What's her name?

00:22:32.000 Where does she live? 0.97

00:22:33.000 He told me the whole story.

00:22:35.000 My buddy told me the whole story.

00:22:36.000 I was not there, but it was a fascinating story.

00:22:39.000 It's like animals, you know?

00:22:42.000 I've had females, female dogs. 1.00

00:22:45.000 Female dogs do not like other female dogs. 1.00

00:22:47.000 They just don't like each other.

00:22:49.000 The dog world is fascinating.

00:22:51.000 They will fight to the death.

00:22:52.000 If we were able to communicate with each other like dogs were, we would just be peeing on each other all day.

00:22:59.000 Yeah. 0.84

00:23:01.000 And humping in public.

00:23:03.000 On the regular.

00:23:05.000 And trying to figure out who the alpha is.

00:23:07.000 Who gets to breed.

00:23:08.000 It's amazing.

00:23:09.000 Who eats the liver.

00:23:10.000 Ben's dog.

00:23:11.000 Ben is a dog named Larry Bird.

00:23:12.000 That's awesome.

00:23:13.000 And Larry Bird is great. 0.98

00:23:15.000 He's fucking awesome. 0.98

00:23:17.000 That's awesome. 0.99

00:23:18.000 Very, you know, he's really zen.

00:23:20.000 The dog is?

00:23:21.000 He is, yeah.

00:23:22.000 He doesn't really bark at all.

00:23:23.000 He just, like, he wants to be scratched on the head.

00:23:25.000 Our very good friend of a friend found him on the freeway in Nashville.

00:23:29.000 And when we moved to town, Ben's been saying he wanted a dog.

00:23:32.000 And My buddy posted an ad on Facebook and said, hey, we have this dog.

00:23:36.000 We're looking for a good home.

00:23:38.000 He's got very long legs and kind of an awkward face, so the name Larry Bird came to mind.

00:23:43.000 That's funny.

00:23:44.000 What kind of dog is he?

00:23:45.000 I think he's an Australian Shepherd.

00:23:47.000 Ah, okay.

00:23:47.000 I know what those look like.

00:23:48.000 He's mid-sized, probably 45 pounds.

00:23:50.000 Yeah.

00:23:50.000 But I don't know if he's zen or if he's just real stressed out all the time and shutting down.

00:23:54.000 He gets very stressed when Ben leaves.

00:23:56.000 Yeah, I bet.

00:23:57.000 Well, you know, it's like all of a sudden he's got something good, you know?

00:24:00.000 He's got someone who cares for him and loves him.

00:24:02.000 I had a female like that. 1.00

00:24:04.000 I had a female that I adopted.

00:24:06.000 And she was eaten out of garbages when I got her. 1.00

00:24:08.000 She was all covered in mange.

00:24:10.000 And I took her in and started feeding her and taking care of her. 0.65

00:24:13.000 But she would have massive anxiety when I would leave.

00:24:15.000 She wouldn't know what to do.

00:24:16.000 She would freak out because she didn't think I was coming back, you know?

00:24:19.000 When you get down to that point, she was starving to death when I found her, literally.

00:24:24.000 In downtown LA, she was just eating out of garbage cans.

00:24:28.000 You've got to think, dogs have access to so much joy.

00:24:31.000 Those things are so happy sometimes.

00:24:32.000 If you get lucky.

00:24:33.000 They must have just as bummed out.

00:24:35.000 Well, it's like humans too.

00:24:37.000 It's like if you get lucky, you could grow up in a really awesome household where your mom and dad love you and they want to see you all the time.

00:24:44.000 And you're growing up with people that have sort of a sense of perspective and they can educate you on the ways of the world and constantly give you love. 1.00

00:24:52.000 Or you could grow up with a crazy fucking shithead mom and a nutty fucking violent abusive drug addict dad and you're fucked. 1.00

00:25:01.000 You're just fucked. 1.00

00:25:02.000 You were born into the wrong spot. 1.00

00:25:04.000 And there's nothing you did and your entire potential completely changes because of that.

00:25:10.000 Your entire way of absorbing the world, of even just dealing with reality.

00:25:15.000 It's compromised by this situation that you were born into with no effort of your own, no karma behind it, no nothing.

00:25:22.000 You just were there.

00:25:23.000 Unless you believe in reincarnation.

00:25:25.000 Unless you believe in... 0.99

00:25:27.000 There's no fucking evidence to support any of that. 0.97

00:25:29.000 But the idea that people are responsible, especially babies, are responsible for terrible things that... 0.96

00:25:34.000 Happened to them because of things that they did in a past life. 0.99

00:25:37.000 I'd have to say, Jesus fucking Christ, how cunty is the universe? 0.99

00:25:41.000 How about you let a baby slide, you know? 1.00

00:25:43.000 Don't punish him from some shit that some other entity had done in a past life. 1.00

00:25:48.000 That's so ridiculous. 1.00

00:25:51.000 It's a super sad aspect of this world. 1.00

00:25:54.000 Your life could be awesome or it could be shit. 0.99

00:25:57.000 And it's just dependent on who gives birth to you and where you are, you know? 1.00

00:26:03.000 Yeah, I mean, we're lucky as fuck. 0.99

00:26:06.000 Well, great. 0.99

00:26:07.000 I'm crying. 1.00

00:26:08.000 We are lucky as fuck. 1.00

00:26:09.000 You and I, all of us here, and to live in America, to live in 2012 in America, with fucking medicine and doctors and the internet and all this shit, you know? 0.99

00:26:20.000 Well, it's interesting how our challenges change as, you're right, like, it's kind of a... 0.97

00:26:26.000 It's weird.

00:26:27.000 One of my best friends in Ohio, he got really mad about his cell phone bill.

00:26:32.000 He found out that since, I don't know, 2007 or something, he paid T-Mobile $5,000, which is, I think, normal if you were to add that up.

00:26:41.000 And he was like, this is ridiculous.

00:26:42.000 He's like, I want to spend my money on other things.

00:26:44.000 So he stopped using a cell phone for three months.

00:26:47.000 He didn't have a cell phone.

00:26:48.000 He used a landline or would communicate through email and he was telling me how difficult it was but how incredibly liberating.

00:26:56.000 And not that that's a problem.

00:26:58.000 I'm kind of segueing into just like you were talking about how we've evolved.

00:27:02.000 And technology makes everything so easy.

00:27:05.000 You could take care of things at your house right now with your cell phone because you have robots there.

00:27:11.000 But it's so interesting.

00:27:12.000 I've always been fascinated with people who could Who were incredibly resourceful with nature, like Boy Scouts and stuff like that.

00:27:20.000 Like just to go home and make a fire right now. 0.99

00:27:24.000 Rub and sticks together and shit. 0.99

00:27:25.000 I whittled myself a coffee table. 0.99

00:27:28.000 And I find that to be incredibly fascinating.

00:27:32.000 I really actually in some spare time would like to learn a few tips if anybody has any.

00:27:36.000 You want to be like a subsistence...

00:27:38.000 Well, I want to know how to make my own bow and arrows.

00:27:41.000 Really? 0.90

00:27:42.000 Have you ever watched any of those shows, like Alaska shows, where these people are like homesteaders out there and they gather all their food within the summer months and then they fucking freeze their dicks off for like eight months out of the year?

00:27:55.000 No, I haven't seen that. 0.85

00:27:56.000 Amazing! 0.97

00:27:57.000 If you're into that, if you're talking about people living off the land and trying to survive out there, it is a fucking fascinating show. 0.98

00:28:05.000 It's crazy. 0.95

00:28:06.000 And this is generations after generations.

00:28:08.000 These people just live like that.

00:28:09.000 There's this level of awareness and oneness with nature that I think is so cool.

00:28:14.000 Oh, yeah.

00:28:14.000 When you know something, you're just like you're in the earth.

00:28:18.000 And so, obviously, I don't really have too much experience with that.

00:28:22.000 I'm really good at fishing.

00:28:24.000 I like to fish.

00:28:24.000 Are you good?

00:28:25.000 Really?

00:28:26.000 Yeah, I'm good at it.

00:28:27.000 I know how to catch them. 1.00

00:28:28.000 Oh, you like the shit. 1.00

00:28:29.000 You're ready for Bass Pro Masters tournaments and shit? 1.00

00:28:32.000 I can hang. 1.00

00:28:32.000 Not really. 1.00

00:28:34.000 Bass Masters.

00:28:37.000 No, I do like to fish, though. 0.94

00:28:38.000 Fishermen make a fuckload of money. 0.62

00:28:39.000 Did you know that? 0.93

00:28:40.000 Like, professional fishermen?

00:28:41.000 Yeah.

00:28:42.000 Like, you can make a great living if you're, like, a famous fisherman.

00:28:45.000 Yeah.

00:28:46.000 How hilarious is that?

00:28:47.000 This famous fisherman.

00:28:49.000 I think we should try.

00:28:50.000 You want to try with me?

00:28:51.000 Start entering tournaments.

00:28:52.000 I mean, you're in Nashville.

00:28:53.000 There's, like, some great bass fishing down in that area.

00:28:55.000 It's a competition, though.

00:28:57.000 I think the world record's from the South.

00:28:59.000 That's the same thing though, that whole oneness. 0.99

00:29:01.000 That just becomes part of their receptive faculties as they know the fucking water. 0.99

00:29:07.000 They know about the fish. 0.99

00:29:08.000 They know what's going on.

00:29:09.000 They know they don't like that kind of tackle.

00:29:11.000 That lure doesn't work.

00:29:13.000 Yeah, it certainly becomes, you know, you have this connection with this animal that you're going after, trying to figure out how to keep pulling them out of their world by tricking them with fake fish. 0.98

00:29:23.000 You know, what a ruthless fucking game fishing is.

00:29:26.000 You throw out this impossibly beautiful, wiggling, sparkly thing that makes some poor fish just want to go bite it. 0.98

00:29:34.000 And he bites it and gets literally pulled out of the dimension he exists in to another dimension that he can't survive in.

00:29:43.000 He can't move.

00:29:44.000 He can't fly around in it like he can in the water. 0.97

00:29:47.000 All of a sudden he's in air and like, what the fuck is going on? 0.69

00:29:51.000 And if you pulled him... 0.98

00:29:53.000 Right.

00:29:53.000 And if it's deep enough water, they'll die just from the pressure.

00:29:57.000 Just from going through the deep, deep, deep water to the surface.

00:30:00.000 They'll be like...

00:30:00.000 Like, they can't even handle it.

00:30:02.000 Like, what are we doing out here?

00:30:04.000 We're supposed to be at, like, 700 feet of water. 1.00

00:30:06.000 And just yank those fuckers up to the surface. 1.00

00:30:08.000 They're just like... 1.00

00:30:09.000 You're really ruining it for me now.

00:30:12.000 There goes my fishing boner.

00:30:13.000 No, listen, fishing is awesome. 0.98

00:30:15.000 I love fishing, but it's got to be a fucking, a real freak out for that poor barracuda. 1.00

00:30:19.000 You know, bites down on your lure. 0.99

00:30:22.000 Barracudas aren't poor. 0.99

00:30:23.000 They're not?

00:30:24.000 They're rich?

00:30:24.000 I don't know.

00:30:25.000 Are they like a...

00:30:26.000 Yeah, they're definitely a top shelf fish, I think.

00:30:28.000 They're tropical.

00:30:28.000 I don't think...

00:30:29.000 I don't think people eat them that much.

00:30:31.000 There's that one song.

00:30:32.000 Yeah.

00:30:33.000 They're famous.

00:30:35.000 Yeah.

00:30:35.000 Did you ever, like, did you like Heart when you were a kid?

00:30:38.000 What's that?

00:30:39.000 Did you like that band Heart?

00:30:40.000 Did you sing that song, Barracuda?

00:30:41.000 They had a bunch of great songs.

00:30:43.000 I got some stuff.

00:30:43.000 I mean, they were crazy on you.

00:30:45.000 I like heart, and yes, what do you have for me, Brian Redman? 1.00

00:30:48.000 Fucking bring that shit. 1.00

00:30:49.000 He has my Viagra shit. 1.00

00:30:51.000 I just want to know, no disrespect to the Viagra pills and what have you, but what happened to the old-fashioned boners? 1.00

00:30:57.000 I mean, just a good old-fashioned boner.

00:30:58.000 Well, SSRIs killed a lot of them.

00:31:01.000 A lot of people on antidepressants have a huge problem getting wood.

00:31:04.000 Oh, I have normal boners, but it's nice to have that five-hour boner when you just want to have a vacation. 0.99

00:31:10.000 Brian is just an abuser. 0.99

00:31:12.000 A vacation boner? 0.99

00:31:13.000 Yeah, once in a while you're like, alright, I'll take care of you.

00:31:15.000 You're just trying to challenge yourself, really? 0.83

00:31:17.000 Yeah, I want to see how much boner I can have. 0.97

00:31:19.000 Olympic boner style? 1.00

00:31:21.000 Like marathon boner sex. 1.00

00:31:23.000 But here's my question. 1.00

00:31:26.000 Your partner, I mean, are they having sex for eight hours? 0.64

00:31:30.000 Because that sounds kind of painful.

00:31:31.000 Well, he mostly sleeps.

00:31:33.000 He mostly sleeps. 0.99

00:31:35.000 Yeah, Brian just fucks dudes that are unconscious. 0.99

00:31:38.000 Well played. 0.99

00:31:39.000 That's Brian's thing.

00:31:41.000 Just gives them GHP. He takes Viagra.

00:31:43.000 I believe it's called bro rape. 0.99

00:31:44.000 Bro rape. 0.99

00:31:46.000 You've got to be careful about that. 0.98

00:31:47.000 You can't even use that. 0.83

00:31:48.000 If you joke about rape, you support rape.

00:31:51.000 Did you know that? 0.99

00:31:51.000 Yeah, stop. 0.99

00:31:52.000 Be careful, careful.

00:31:53.000 You know, one of the things I've noticed, I posted this on Twitter about a lot of lefties.

00:31:57.000 So uncomfortable.

00:31:58.000 There's a funny thing lately where, like, hardcore lefties, you know, what they like to call themselves progressives, they will criticize stereotypical Muslims in television and film.

00:32:12.000 Like, I saw these progressives that were criticizing Homeland.

00:32:17.000 The show? 0.94

00:32:18.000 Yeah, that all of the Muslim characters are cartoonish. 1.00

00:32:22.000 You know, and it's like, I find it offensive.

00:32:25.000 They're like, finding it offensive.

00:32:26.000 But it's hilarious that they would never do that with cartoonish Christians. 1.00

00:32:30.000 Like if there was like, you know, a TV show and all the Christians had God Hates Fags posters and were walking around, you would never hear progressions bitching about fundamentalist Christians that are represented in a cartoonish way. 0.89

00:32:43.000 But fundamentalist Muslims, it's like, oh, we have to be aware and conscious and we have to be like really sensitive To, like, these foreign people and their ideas? 0.97

00:32:53.000 Like, wackadoos that are brown, like, you have to be, like, really kind to them and show them kind. 1.00

00:32:58.000 But wackadoos that are white and look too much like your relatives, like, fuck them. 1.00

00:33:03.000 Fuck the Christians. 1.00

00:33:04.000 Fuck them. 1.00

00:33:05.000 Let them be as cartoonish as possible. 1.00

00:33:08.000 But you have to be super sensitive about the way people who, you know, Islam, it's not all terrorists, not Islam...

00:33:16.000 As if one ideology makes any more sense than another ideology. 0.99

00:33:21.000 Any of these fucking goofy cults make any sense. 0.99

00:33:25.000 Any of them. 0.99

00:33:25.000 But progressives, they don't want to criticize Islam lately. 0.99

00:33:29.000 It's like these cartoonish Muslim characters. 1.00

00:33:32.000 Okay?

00:33:33.000 That's not how I feel about culture.

00:33:37.000 Isn't that just as much a cult as any of the other ones?

00:33:39.000 Being progressive is a cult, for sure.

00:33:42.000 The hardcore lefty stance is a cult. 1.00

00:33:44.000 I mean, there's shit that fits in and doesn't fit in. 1.00

00:33:47.000 It's like when it comes to gun control and these horrible fucking mass shootings that have been going on lately. 0.99

00:33:52.000 Everybody's answer is always gun control from the left. 0.99

00:33:56.000 And everybody from the right is they need to arm people.

00:34:00.000 To make sure that this can't happen because you're not going into an unarmed area.

00:34:03.000 If people had guns of their own, they would know that they couldn't just do this.

00:34:09.000 It's a complex issue.

00:34:12.000 But anyone from the left never recognizes that.

00:34:16.000 It's always gun control. 1.00

00:34:18.000 You fucking NRI people, are you happy? 1.00

00:34:20.000 You can fucking believe this shit. 1.00

00:34:22.000 Why do you need a gun? 1.00

00:34:24.000 Find a new hobby.

00:34:25.000 You don't need to hunt.

00:34:26.000 Find a new hobby.

00:34:26.000 Well, it's really interesting to...

00:34:29.000 Discuss this topic because we just moved to Nashville and that's a gun town. 0.85

00:34:33.000 There's guns everywhere and I have friends that carry concealed weapons.

00:34:38.000 There's this one girl, she's like this super hot chick and she's always got a little pistol in her purse, like no big deal. 1.00

00:34:44.000 Good for her.

00:34:45.000 But I think that something that's, you know, maybe I'll tell you at a later date.

00:34:51.000 I think that You know, it's a really interesting feeling to be in a town, in a community with that.

00:34:59.000 And where I see it is that, like, we've heard all these stories of like, don't worry, mom, dad, I'm safe.

00:35:07.000 But, you know, like our friends of friends getting shot, people being, you know, shot several, like all these different stories.

00:35:13.000 And, you know, there's a lot of crime everywhere.

00:35:16.000 But They had this turn your gun in day to try and reduce the firearm population.

00:35:22.000 But at the end of the day, I'm not pro-gun or anti-gun.

00:35:27.000 I don't even know what I am.

00:35:28.000 But I was thinking about it.

00:35:30.000 And I'm like, the bad guys aren't going to turn their guns in.

00:35:34.000 Poor people are going to turn their guns in. 0.99

00:35:36.000 It's a noble cause to try and alleviate violence of any kind.

00:35:40.000 But at the same time, it's like they're already there.

00:35:43.000 And I just don't see how they could go away. 0.99

00:35:45.000 But I don't, I'm not making, fuck, that's like a strong statement. 0.92

00:35:49.000 No, well you're making a logical statement because the real issue is not whether or not we change the laws, it's whether or not people are willing to break those laws. 0.93

00:35:56.000 And the majority of crimes, violent crimes with guns, I believe in this country are committed with illegal guns.

00:36:02.000 So it's already this weird situation.

00:36:04.000 The kid who was in possession of these guns, these were his mother's guns.

00:36:07.000 I mean, you talk about gun control.

00:36:09.000 He violated a bunch of different laws before he ever left the house by just handling these guns and loading them and taking them out of there. 0.99

00:36:16.000 They weren't his to fuck with. 0.96

00:36:18.000 So he was violating laws, and then the question is, why do these things even exist? 0.99

00:36:24.000 Why does someone need an assault rifle?

00:36:26.000 Those are legitimate questions.

00:36:27.000 Those are questions that we really should consider.

00:36:29.000 There's no doubt about it.

00:36:30.000 But the idea that we need to take all guns away, that doesn't make any sense.

00:36:35.000 If people wanted to, look what Timothy McVeigh did with a truck and some fertilizer.

00:36:39.000 Yeah. 0.77

00:36:56.000 And we only have, you know, this many crazy people running around shooting people.

00:37:03.000 It's really kind of shocking.

00:37:04.000 It's amazingly good considering the numbers.

00:37:07.000 It's just when something does happen, it's so horrible and so heart-wrenching and, you know, it fucks with our heads.

00:37:15.000 The real statistics, though, if you think about how many people actually have guns...

00:37:19.000 And how many people are running around shooting people?

00:37:21.000 It's amazing.

00:37:22.000 It's amazing how behaved everybody is, for the most part.

00:37:26.000 If you just look at the actual numbers of human beings, this is a crazy time to be alive.

00:37:31.000 There's 300 million people in this continent, driving around in cars, getting stuck in traffic, and the amount of people that actually shoot people is relatively small.

00:37:43.000 But when you compare it to other countries with stricter gun control laws, you see those numbers drop so much.

00:37:49.000 So that's a hard comparison.

00:37:50.000 But the issue is they've already had that.

00:37:53.000 It's like the question of how do you take the guns.

00:37:58.000 I mean, you'd have to go door to door.

00:37:59.000 You don't have to storm houses.

00:38:01.000 It's like, how would you eradicate the guns?

00:38:04.000 From our neighborhood the way they have in England. 1.00

00:38:06.000 In England, they never really had it.

00:38:08.000 So when you see low UK gun violence rates, it's like, yeah, they never really had the guns.

00:38:13.000 Even the cops don't have them.

00:38:16.000 They do.

00:38:16.000 They have them in case of extreme situations.

00:38:19.000 American Werewolf in London.

00:38:21.000 When the wolf gets out, that's when they bust it out. 1.00

00:38:24.000 You can't fuck with a werewolf when you've got a billy club. 1.00

00:38:28.000 Silly bitch. 1.00

00:38:29.000 But you need a silver bullet anyway. 1.00

00:38:31.000 I think there's arguments on both sides.

00:38:34.000 There's definitely arguments on both sides.

00:38:35.000 But you know what the other argument is?

00:38:37.000 The unsung discussion?

00:38:38.000 What was this kid on?

00:38:40.000 What was going on with his head?

00:38:41.000 Was he medicated?

00:38:43.000 Was he on who knows what from the time he was a child? 1.00

00:38:46.000 Do you know how many fucking kids get put on Ritalin? 1.00

00:38:48.000 Do you know how many fucking kids get put on antidepressants at a young age? 1.00

00:38:52.000 We live in strange times of... 1.00

00:38:56.000 Of just manipulating with human neurochemistry.

00:39:00.000 And especially when you're mixing things, which people do.

00:39:03.000 They'll take illegal drugs with legal drugs. 0.99

00:39:06.000 And it's a psychotic combination.

00:39:08.000 You know, Zoloft and cocaine. 0.99

00:39:11.000 It's famous for people going fucking berserk on it. 0.99

00:39:13.000 I'm going to try that. 0.99

00:39:18.000 Just kidding.

00:39:20.000 Well, it's interesting.

00:39:21.000 We need to know what was wrong with this kid.

00:39:23.000 Whether he had a mental illness.

00:39:26.000 Whether he was medicated. 0.99

00:39:29.000 There was obviously something fucking really wrong with him. 0.97

00:39:33.000 Just to be able to do that. 0.99

00:39:35.000 Just to be able to do physically what he did and shoot kids. 0.93

00:39:38.000 There's got to be something way wrong with his wiring. 0.91

00:39:41.000 I wonder...

00:39:41.000 I was thinking about this the other day, about all these mass shootings and all the people responsible for them.

00:39:47.000 And I wonder if there were to be...

00:39:49.000 I mean, maybe they're already doing this and I'm foolish, I don't know.

00:39:53.000 But if you were to dissect their brains and literally if there was some sort of similar common thread of an excessive chemical or something... 0.93

00:40:01.000 Like Hitler. 0.91

00:40:02.000 What about Hitler? 0.65

00:40:03.000 Finding out the bad, you know, like saying that there was a human race, like there's a right way to have a brain, you know what I mean?

00:40:09.000 Like you have to be blonde, blue eyes, you know, and anyone else, you know.

00:40:14.000 So you're saying find like a common trait.

00:40:16.000 Let him talk himself out of this place.

00:40:18.000 I was like, I don't know what he's saying, and I was like, I can't tell if I'm going to laugh or he's really sincere. 0.97

00:40:21.000 Finding a common trait of somebody that's fucked up in their head and putting him aside. 0.94

00:40:25.000 We need to get you back on the provigil, son. 0.98

00:40:27.000 Give me some.

00:40:28.000 Yeah.

00:40:30.000 What do you got?

00:40:31.000 You got something right now?

00:40:32.000 God, this is such a difficult thing to talk about because it's a...

00:40:35.000 It's horrific.

00:40:36.000 It's horrific.

00:40:36.000 Because it's still, everybody's, you know, it's so painful.

00:40:40.000 And I think that at the end of the day, there isn't anything that we're going to find out or be able to fix it, whether it's gun control or anything other than trying to...

00:40:49.000 Trying to be, as a community, more aware of each other.

00:40:53.000 You know, we're talking about all these things about, like, at your fingertips, and, like, we're, you know, we've got cell phones that do everything for us, and nobody, like, I think people stop paying attention to things.

00:41:02.000 Like, just the most rudimentary level of human existence and communication of just, like, really seeing someone and being in touch with them.

00:41:12.000 And I think some people get isolated and more and more isolated. 0.62

00:41:17.000 And I don't fucking know. 0.94

00:41:19.000 I'll only speak for myself. 0.98

00:41:22.000 There's a lot of us.

00:41:23.000 And the problem is we can't be looking out for everybody around us when we're not even in contact with them.

00:41:29.000 We live in these communities where there's a guy who lives right down the street from you.

00:41:35.000 He's two houses down.

00:41:36.000 He wouldn't be able to pick him out in a lineup.

00:41:38.000 That's me. 0.99

00:41:39.000 I don't fucking know all my neighbors. 0.92

00:41:41.000 You know, I live in a community of people that are basically strangers, you know, and they're strangers to their community and that's not how it used to be. 0.97

00:41:48.000 There's something that happened to us when we invented automobiles and mass transit and the ability to move along great distances is we don't live and work close.

00:41:58.000 We don't have the same sort of community that people did before they had cars.

00:42:02.000 And that's sort of how human beings were invented, or rather how human beings developed.

00:42:07.000 We developed to grow up in these communities, tribes, where we all stuck together, we all hunted together, we farmed together, we gathered together, we raised each other's children.

00:42:15.000 And then someone figured out cars and it just stopped.

00:42:18.000 They just started like, let's live in the fucking east side and let's drive up across town. 0.93

00:42:22.000 I want to live in the suburbs. 0.97

00:42:23.000 I'd love to have a house in the mountains. 0.98

00:42:25.000 And then everybody was able to just go wherever the fuck they wanted to. 0.93

00:42:28.000 And then they would meet for work or go over each other's houses. 0.97

00:42:31.000 But the sense of community got further and further apart.

00:42:34.000 I've had this conversation with some of my friends.

00:42:36.000 I'm like, why don't we all live in the same neighborhood, man?

00:42:39.000 Why don't we do that?

00:42:40.000 Wouldn't that be awesome if you lived across the street from me?

00:42:42.000 Can't we make that happen?

00:42:44.000 Let's find a place.

00:42:45.000 We'd be trying to play basketball with you all the time.

00:42:47.000 Yeah.

00:42:48.000 That would be fun.

00:42:49.000 Wouldn't it be amazing if you could literally live in a community of all of your friends?

00:42:55.000 I don't know anybody who does that.

00:42:56.000 Except there's these mixed martial arts guys in Sacramento, Uriah Faber, and all of his friends.

00:43:03.000 They've got a situation where they bought a bunch of houses in the same cul-de-sac, I think, and they just all live next to each other.

00:43:09.000 Which is awesome.

00:43:10.000 That's the way to do it.

00:43:12.000 I agree.

00:43:12.000 I think that'd be really cool, but it's funny to talk about tribal existence, where many of us have come from.

00:43:19.000 I think we've all come from.

00:43:20.000 The tribal existence was everybody worked together as woven into the same cloth, but everybody had a job to do and an end to hold up.

00:43:31.000 And we're in a society where everyone's just an individual, you know, for the most part.

00:43:35.000 And it's really interesting to think about if we were going to, you know, to try to have like a communal type thing again.

00:43:43.000 I don't know.

00:43:44.000 Well, we would have to if we lost our ability to travel distances.

00:43:47.000 That would really fuck a lot of people up.

00:43:50.000 If something happened and society was thrown into chaos and we lost our ability to get oil and gas, it's not that far outside the realm of possibility.

00:44:00.000 If we look at the face of the earth, like when scientists start going into the past and see some of the cataclysmic events that have happened, Like, you know, the predate human beings.

00:44:10.000 There's been some big ones.

00:44:12.000 Like a lot of them.

00:44:13.000 Like a whole shitload of them.

00:44:15.000 And it's really possible that one could happen.

00:44:17.000 And if it did happen, we would lose all electricity.

00:44:20.000 Essentially forever.

00:44:21.000 For the rest of your life, there'd be no more electricity. 0.92

00:44:23.000 Because no one's going to be able to figure out how to fucking fix it without any real infrastructure available anymore.

00:44:29.000 And you'd have a few people that were surviving by living off the land. 0.84

00:44:32.000 You'd have a few people.

00:44:34.000 I mean, we could go back to that again.

00:44:36.000 Like...

00:44:37.000 That.

00:44:37.000 One super volcano, one asteroid.

00:44:40.000 There was an asteroid that just flew by, and the Chinese got these photographs of it.

00:44:43.000 I retweeted it.

00:44:46.000 It flies by every four years, and it's over a mile wide.

00:44:50.000 It's a mile wide piece of rock that flies really close to us every year, or every four years.

00:44:58.000 It's a mile and a half wide, sorry.

00:45:00.000 A mile and a half wide. 1.00

00:45:01.000 What the fuck? 0.99

00:45:02.000 So basically what's going to happen is Friday, when the end of the world comes, and we've got some stragglers, which will clearly be the majority of the will turn. 0.99

00:45:11.000 I feel like this is a real hot spot for...

00:45:14.000 Survivors.

00:45:16.000 Survivors.

00:45:17.000 Yep, that's right.

00:45:17.000 So we're going to have to come up with a game plan of, you know, I'll bring the canned goods and...

00:45:24.000 Make sure the ratio is good though.

00:45:26.000 I feel like there's going to be a lot of dudes.

00:45:27.000 Yeah, there's going to be a lot of sausage.

00:45:29.000 We're going to have to bring a lot of booze. 1.00

00:45:30.000 Big sausage factory.

00:45:32.000 Not many breedable females.

00:45:34.000 Yeah, that's the problem.

00:45:35.000 Some board games.

00:45:36.000 We have to be real careful to really make sure we protect our genetics.

00:45:42.000 No, I mean, we really have the whole fate of the human race.

00:45:44.000 So now you're talking like Hitler, though, right? 0.89

00:45:46.000 That's right.

00:45:47.000 That's what I'm trying to say.

00:45:47.000 Hitler had a lot of good points.

00:45:49.000 He was just crazy.

00:45:50.000 If you had, like, I mean, look, if you had some real engineering of the human race, you would have to do some culling, right? 0.99

00:45:58.000 It's like when you have a thorn or a rose bush, and you have some fucking wacky branches, you gotta trim them bitches. 1.00

00:46:04.000 Mm-hmm. 0.99

00:46:04.000 We accept that. 0.99

00:46:05.000 We accept that scientifically.

00:46:06.000 We accept that in the nature world, the world of animals and plants, but we don't accept it with people. 0.99

00:46:12.000 We connect emotions to the most horrific and fucked up amongst us, and we don't even want to kill them. 0.98

00:46:20.000 We don't want to kill bad people. 0.99

00:46:23.000 We don't want to prune them. 0.94

00:46:25.000 The electric chair is barbaric.

00:46:27.000 Lethal injection is horrific.

00:46:29.000 We're no better than them.

00:46:31.000 What are you doing, son?

00:46:32.000 Sorry.

00:46:33.000 I don't know why this just started playing. 0.52

00:46:35.000 Watching cowboy porn?

00:46:36.000 No.

00:46:37.000 I was looking for that asteroid and then an ad came up on this website.

00:46:40.000 Some dude just tweeted at us about a serial killer expert learns he has the brain of a killer.

00:46:47.000 I don't know.

00:46:47.000 I probably shouldn't even talk about this right now.

00:46:49.000 Yeah, I saw that.

00:46:50.000 That was a documentary.

00:46:51.000 Yeah, it was a guy who found out that he passed all the tests for being a sociopath or a psychopath, whichever one that is.

00:47:00.000 I was going to bring this up earlier, too.

00:47:01.000 There's this article...

00:47:02.000 It says, I am Adam Lanza's mother.

00:47:05.000 It's about this woman, or excuse me, this woman is talking about her own son who has a lot of similarities between him and the shooter from Sandy Hook.

00:47:15.000 And there's all these, my phone's kind of freezing here, but it's talking about her struggles with him and the diagnosis they're giving him, all the mood-altering drugs, and they just don't know how to handle it.

00:47:34.000 Right.

00:47:45.000 Yeah, and we also don't understand why a person develops that way.

00:47:51.000 What makes a person a sociopath?

00:47:53.000 What makes a person a psychopath?

00:47:54.000 Is it nature?

00:47:55.000 Is it nurture?

00:47:56.000 You know, everyone's different. 0.59

00:47:58.000 There's different, there's a gradient, there's like a spectrum of different, there's people that are just a little crazy. 0.98

00:48:05.000 They're okay, but they're just a little crazy.

00:48:06.000 And then there's people that literally don't see reality the way we all agree it looks.

00:48:11.000 There's these people that you see them sitting on the side of the road, and they're talking to themselves, and they're covered in dirt, and they haven't washed in a year, and they're nodding back and forth and having conversations like, okay, what's that guy seeing?

00:48:22.000 What's going on?

00:48:22.000 I mean, he's having a fucking full-blown conversation with people that aren't even there.

00:48:26.000 What's going on? 0.98

00:48:27.000 What's going on there?

00:48:28.000 And we don't exactly know.

00:48:30.000 We know how to give them some drugs and make them not do that. 0.98

00:48:33.000 We know there's something wrong with his firing mechanism and his fucking noodle, but we don't exactly know what that guy's seeing. 0.99

00:48:42.000 He could tell us. 0.99

00:48:43.000 He might be lying. 1.00

00:48:44.000 He might be seeing some shit that he doesn't even like to talk about. 1.00

00:48:47.000 He might be seeing dragons and shit. 1.00

00:48:48.000 Well, I think if you were to take a considerable amount of mushrooms, then you would know what he was seeing. 0.99

00:48:53.000 I doubt it.

00:48:54.000 I say we try it.

00:48:55.000 Yeah, well, I see your point.

00:48:59.000 The last thing you want to do is get locked into a homeless dude's way of thinking.

00:49:02.000 Yeah, no, yeah.

00:49:02.000 You become him.

00:49:03.000 I think I take it back.

00:49:04.000 Can you imagine?

00:49:05.000 People are pulling their brains out on LSD. Like that guy from Pink Floyd that they wrote that song Shine On You Crazy Diamond.

00:49:13.000 Mm-hmm.

00:49:14.000 Yeah, that's apparently about a dude who lost his mind on some LSD. You could fuck up. 1.00

00:49:20.000 You could fuck up and go deep. 1.00

00:49:21.000 And Suzanne just got nervous and reached for the markers. 1.00

00:49:23.000 Oh, no, that's not nervous.

00:49:25.000 That's just straight, I'm accessing my pleasure energy.

00:49:30.000 Your pleasure energy.

00:49:31.000 How does that sound?

00:49:33.000 The booze energy, that's the pleasure energy.

00:49:35.000 I do love it.

00:49:36.000 Everything's fine, guys.

00:49:37.000 Don't worry.

00:49:39.000 It's Monday.

00:49:39.000 Do you find there's a lot of resistance?

00:49:41.000 Do you talk about loving it?

00:49:43.000 You know what?

00:49:44.000 Actually, I found this is really funny.

00:49:49.000 We talk about booze all the time because we're boozers.

00:49:52.000 I'm not an alcoholic, but I love bourbon.

00:49:56.000 I don't drink bourbon every day, but I talk about it because I'm comfortable that way.

00:50:02.000 We've had a few emails here and there.

00:50:05.000 Some dude was like, I saw you at your show when you were on tour, and you just looked so tired.

00:50:11.000 And look, drugs have torn into people.

00:50:14.000 And I was like, let's just go right over this again.

00:50:17.000 You saw me on tour, and I looked tired.

00:50:20.000 That is a shocker!

00:50:23.000 And kind of just had this whole...

00:50:24.000 Just slept in a van in a Wendy's parking lot.

00:50:26.000 It was very sweet, and I'm not going to throw him under the bus to be concerned.

00:50:30.000 Right.

00:50:30.000 But it's...

00:50:31.000 Well, you know, from his point, there's a lot of people that think that the life of a showbiz person is just fucking drugs and barely keeping it together and stumbling onto stage the night that, you know... 0.90

00:50:43.000 But, dude, I know... 0.95

00:50:43.000 I mean, at the same time, I'm fully aware of that side. 0.95

00:50:47.000 Like, I... It does exist.

00:50:49.000 It totally, and you know, I'm sure, because it's like, when you're on the road, and you're just moving all the time, and you're never in the same place, you're never in this, like, you're fucking lonely, you know, you're, there's just so much going on, like, drinking, you know.

00:51:06.000 There's a real comfort in repetition, too.

00:51:08.000 Oh, yeah.

00:51:08.000 You know, because you're going to, you're in a different club every night, but there's always...

00:51:11.000 And everybody wants to party with you.

00:51:13.000 Yes.

00:51:14.000 But at the same time, I really...

00:51:17.000 I don't like...

00:51:19.000 I love to drink, but I don't like being wasted.

00:51:22.000 I don't like not being in control, and I don't like losing my voice.

00:51:26.000 So there's a balance.

00:51:29.000 I feel really lucky that I have a partner who is...

00:51:33.000 We do this together.

00:51:35.000 If one of us was slipping, there'd be a lot to handle, but we're pretty...

00:51:42.000 We're probably slipping down together.

00:51:44.000 Yeah, it's just like a Slow, erosive.

00:51:46.000 It's nice that you can count on each other. 1.00

00:51:48.000 It's nice that you both keep your shit together. 0.99

00:51:51.000 I remember one time when we first started touring together, Ben got really drunk, and he had really long hair, and I held his hair while he pute. 0.99

00:51:59.000 Aww, beautiful.

00:52:00.000 That's sweet.

00:52:01.000 I tied it in a ponytail so he looked like a yoga instructor.

00:52:05.000 That's sweet.

00:52:06.000 And then probably a few days later, I got a little drunk and I remember I passed out with my boots on.

00:52:13.000 So I let a whole squad of these guys from the show in.

00:52:16.000 Just went to town on her.

00:52:17.000 Yeah, that's really funny.

00:52:19.000 It's technical.

00:52:23.000 I think you just contributed to rape culture. 1.00

00:52:25.000 I know. 0.67

00:52:26.000 I'm not sure.

00:52:26.000 I was going to say it.

00:52:27.000 I'm going to call you out.

00:52:28.000 Really, Joe?

00:52:29.000 Really?

00:52:32.000 Oh, my God. 0.97

00:52:35.000 It's cool that you guys can count on each other, that you know that you're both in it to do the right shit, to get it done, that you're both in it to make great music. 0.83

00:52:44.000 It's like a lot of bands have an issue.

00:52:47.000 There's like five guys...

00:52:51.000 There she is.

00:52:52.000 Wow, that is a large ta-ta. 0.93

00:52:53.000 That's an amazing picture.

00:52:54.000 Come on, that is the picture.

00:52:55.000 That looks like it weighs like five pounds.

00:52:58.000 We had to block out the nipple because apparently it almost sunk CBS when Janet Jackson whipped one out. 1.00

00:53:03.000 Who knows what it could do to Ustream.

00:53:06.000 But this lady with her tit out, I did not ask her to do this. 1.00

00:53:10.000 This was the universe giving me a gift.

00:53:13.000 Did it turn you on?

00:53:14.000 No.

00:53:15.000 Well, yes and no.

00:53:16.000 It wasn't CeeLo Green the whole time.

00:53:18.000 Yes and no.

00:53:18.000 It did not turn me on.

00:53:20.000 It did not turn me on sexually, but it did turn me on socially because I knew I was going to post this online and people were going to go bananas.

00:53:28.000 I was very excited.

00:53:29.000 I was like, I have to show people.

00:53:31.000 This is going to give them great joy.

00:53:32.000 I think this is the part where he started to lose his mind.

00:53:35.000 I remember that.

00:53:37.000 I lost my mind. 0.98

00:53:38.000 Joe Logan came out and whipped out my titties. 0.98

00:53:41.000 Okay. 0.87

00:53:43.000 Brian, do you think she's alive now?

00:53:45.000 Because that was like 2005. If you had to guess, do you think that woman's alive?

00:53:49.000 She's eating meatball subs every day. 0.97

00:53:51.000 I'm sure there's some cholesterol issues.

00:53:54.000 Italians live forever. 1.00

00:53:54.000 Do they? 1.00

00:53:55.000 Thank God. 1.00

00:53:56.000 Those motherfuckers, they live forever. 1.00

00:53:57.000 That's good to know. 1.00

00:54:00.000 But that was a real moment for me.

00:54:02.000 Thanks, Dad.

00:54:03.000 It was a great, great moment for me.

00:54:06.000 I wish you had that on video, though.

00:54:08.000 Yeah, it would be.

00:54:09.000 It would be awesome.

00:54:10.000 HD, Galaxy S3 video.

00:54:13.000 Yeah.

00:54:14.000 But then she'd probably sue me.

00:54:16.000 I wonder if she knows that picture's out there.

00:54:18.000 I wonder if someone's like, girl, do you know that your picture's online and your titties out and you got a meatball sub in your hand?

00:54:26.000 That ain't even me.

00:54:28.000 My wig don't look nothing like that.

00:54:29.000 That is not me.

00:54:31.000 That is not me, girl.

00:54:33.000 I'm telling you. 0.96

00:54:34.000 That was a bitchy saying. 1.00

00:54:35.000 Girl, do you know that there's pictures of you. 0.98

00:54:37.000 You got your titty out and a meatball sub in your hand. 1.00

00:54:41.000 And bitch, you look fat. 1.00

00:54:42.000 You look like Bigfoot. 1.00

00:54:43.000 Look at that gut. 1.00

00:54:45.000 Oh, that's a gut of a person who doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

00:54:47.000 She doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

00:54:49.000 I think that's just a dick. 1.00

00:54:50.000 No, no. 0.99

00:54:52.000 That's not a dick. 1.00

00:54:53.000 That's a real tit, bro. 1.00

00:54:54.000 Look at that.

00:54:55.000 You can't make a fake tit like that on a man. 1.00

00:54:58.000 Fake tits on men always look odd. 1.00

00:55:00.000 And the nipples are never big enough. 0.99

00:55:01.000 And you know that that nipple's the correct size. 0.98

00:55:04.000 That's the thing about trannies. 1.00

00:55:06.000 Oh, by the way, that's another thing. 0.95

00:55:07.000 Tell us what you know about trannies, Joe. 1.00

00:55:09.000 People are transphobic.

00:55:11.000 Did you know that, Brian?

00:55:12.000 That's a new issue.

00:55:13.000 Transphobia. 0.95

00:55:14.000 A lot of the progressives are going after people that are transphobic if you're making any jokes about trannies. 0.93

00:55:19.000 Really? 0.99

00:55:19.000 Even saying trannies. 0.99

00:55:21.000 Yeah.

00:55:24.000 We need to be more sensitive.

00:55:26.000 I'm fascinated.

00:55:28.000 Did we talk about Buck Angel the last time we were on here?

00:55:30.000 I feel like we did.

00:55:31.000 We might not, but there's never enough talk about Buck Angel.

00:55:36.000 We did a show with him.

00:55:38.000 No, you didn't.

00:55:39.000 Yes, we did.

00:55:40.000 No, you didn't.

00:55:41.000 I'm telling you the truth.

00:55:43.000 We were in Toronto.

00:55:47.000 Toronto, Asia.

00:55:49.000 Just kidding.

00:55:50.000 It's in Canada.

00:55:53.000 And we were... 0.98

00:55:54.000 You confused the shit out of people. 0.78

00:55:56.000 They were like, really? 0.90

00:55:57.000 Is Toronto a country in Asia as well?

00:55:59.000 It's not honey.

00:56:01.000 So you were up there with Buck.

00:56:02.000 Is Buck Angel from Toronto?

00:56:03.000 It was called Idea City, which is like TED Talks.

00:56:07.000 And it was a conference for...

00:56:08.000 It was really incredible.

00:56:10.000 And you guys played music?

00:56:12.000 We did, yeah.

00:56:12.000 We were playing with our friend Adam Cohen.

00:56:15.000 We were his band.

00:56:15.000 So we weren't playing as Honey Honey, which was kind of cool because I felt like...

00:56:19.000 We were just a bunch of hired guns.

00:56:21.000 Oh, that's kind of fun, right?

00:56:22.000 Yeah, playing banjo, singing backup.

00:56:23.000 Just to be a musician?

00:56:24.000 It was fun, only when I go back and watch the videos, I did not play well. 0.82

00:56:27.000 I'm not proud of my playing, but I'm fucking working on it, and I've gotten better, so, for the record.

00:56:33.000 But anyway, we were... 0.94

00:56:34.000 I don't know what good playing or bad playing is.

00:56:37.000 Steve Martin's good.

00:56:38.000 He's really good.

00:56:39.000 Oh my god, he's so good.

00:56:40.000 We got to see him in Nashville.

00:56:41.000 Yeah.

00:56:42.000 Really entertaining guy.

00:56:43.000 But anyway, Buck Angel.

00:56:44.000 Buck Angel.

00:56:45.000 So the conference that we were at was a three-day conference and the theme was women.

00:56:50.000 And in all the facets of like, it was going through scientific evolution and, you know, in society.

00:56:57.000 And like there was anywhere from Olympic gold medalists to doctors and psychiatrists and lawyers and an oceanographer.

00:57:06.000 This incredible woman.

00:57:08.000 Dr. Sylvia Earle.

00:57:09.000 I love her.

00:57:10.000 And then they had two different trannies. 1.00

00:57:13.000 Transvestites. 0.99

00:57:14.000 Yeah, don't be transphobia. 1.00

00:57:16.000 You don't want to call them trannies. 0.98

00:57:18.000 Dude, man, just be you. 0.89

00:57:19.000 You know you can't call people twinks anymore?

00:57:22.000 Why not?

00:57:23.000 Adam Cohen, the guy who's the head of Bravo, had to apologize.

00:57:27.000 Is that his name?

00:57:27.000 The guy who's the head of Bravo.

00:57:28.000 He made a twink joke.

00:57:30.000 I'd like to see him try to stop me, Joe.

00:57:32.000 He had to apologize to the twink neighborhood. 1.00

00:57:34.000 The twink community. 1.00

00:57:36.000 Look, old Greg had a mangina.

00:57:38.000 I support him.

00:57:40.000 Anyway, so Buck Angel... 0.99

00:57:42.000 You should explain to people who don't know what the fuck we're talking about. 0.99

00:57:45.000 Okay, so Buck Angel is a very famous transvestite. 1.00

00:57:48.000 Transsexual. 0.85

00:57:48.000 Transsexual, excuse me. 0.85

00:57:49.000 Who's a woman, but is almost as jacked as Joe Rogan, and just a massive frame of a man, of a typical man, but actually is a woman, you know. 1.00

00:58:05.000 And does porn, right? 1.00

00:58:06.000 And does porn. 0.84

00:58:07.000 Holla! 1.00

00:58:08.000 And is married to a woman.

00:58:10.000 Holla! 1.00

00:58:11.000 Which makes me wonder, does that make him a lesbian? 1.00

00:58:14.000 Well, he does porn with girls or guys? 0.99

00:58:16.000 With guys. 0.98

00:58:18.000 Maybe girls, too. 0.99

00:58:20.000 But I did myself an unsolid, and I was like, oh, I'm curious.

00:58:26.000 Because I was really fascinated by Buck Angel's talk.

00:58:28.000 Brian, you know what you do.

00:58:29.000 So I went online and I looked up some Buck Angel porn. 0.97

00:58:33.000 And it really kind of messed me up because I saw him in the elevator the next day.

00:58:38.000 And I was just like, oh God.

00:58:41.000 I'm so confused.

00:58:43.000 I'm just confused. 0.98

00:58:44.000 So did it feel like gay porn? 0.98

00:58:46.000 What did you feel like you were watching? 1.00

00:58:47.000 It was a total shaved vag. 0.99

00:58:50.000 And it was just so... 0.98

00:58:54.000 You see the top frame, which is all...

00:58:56.000 He looks like a lumberjack.

00:58:58.000 He's got a goatee.

00:58:59.000 He's tatted up.

00:59:00.000 He has huge muscles.

00:59:01.000 And he lives his life as a man, so I feel it's right to call him him because I think that's what he prefers.

00:59:07.000 And he was great. 0.88

00:59:08.000 He was fucking cool. 0.86

00:59:09.000 I liked hanging out with him. 1.00

00:59:10.000 But after I saw him getting pounded by a dude that looked just like him into his vagina, I was really confused. 1.00

00:59:17.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:59:19.000 Oh, there's Buck on the right.

00:59:20.000 That's Buck.

00:59:21.000 That is so crazy.

00:59:22.000 Look at him. 1.00

00:59:23.000 He's fucking huge! 1.00

00:59:24.000 That really does look like a fucking dude. 1.00

00:59:27.000 That's amazing. 1.00

00:59:29.000 I mean, that's a...

00:59:30.000 That's a big guy.

00:59:33.000 That's crazy.

00:59:35.000 Brian added that song, by the way.

00:59:37.000 Did you really? 1.00

00:59:39.000 Yeah, he does that on everything, that son of a bitch. 0.99

00:59:42.000 If you go to that actual video, you will not get that full experience. 0.99

00:59:45.000 Someone needs to make that mix.

00:59:47.000 But yeah, that looks like a big dude.

00:59:49.000 Yep, and there's no D downstairs. 0.99

00:59:52.000 But does he have a large clitoris, at least? 0.98

00:59:57.000 I'm also really, really excited that he has this project going. 0.93

01:00:02.000 I just want to reach out to you kids and let you know that I really had a tough time when I was a kid.

01:00:08.000 People didn't understand me.

01:00:10.000 People didn't get that I felt like a guy.

01:00:13.000 I got teased.

01:00:15.000 I was in fights constantly.

01:00:18.000 I was isolated.

01:00:20.000 I didn't know who to reach out to.

01:00:22.000 I tried to commit suicide again. 0.95

01:00:26.000 Enough, Buck. 1.00

01:00:27.000 You're bumming me out. 1.00

01:00:28.000 I wanted to watch you suck some dicks. 1.00

01:00:29.000 I didn't want to watch you cry. 1.00

01:00:31.000 You're acting like a little bitch. 1.00

01:00:35.000 Settle the fuck down. 1.00

01:00:38.000 You're insensitive. 1.00

01:00:39.000 This is more transphobia. 0.97

01:00:42.000 You guys are cave people. 0.97

01:00:45.000 I'm gonna throw up my vegan pizza now.

01:00:48.000 Oh, that's fun.

01:00:50.000 Anyway, moving on.

01:00:52.000 Listen, it takes every kind of people to make this world go round.

01:00:56.000 I think we learned that in the 70s.

01:00:58.000 And Buck Angel, good on ya. 0.82

01:01:01.000 Go get that. 0.82

01:01:02.000 So then there was another transvestite that was... 1.00

01:01:04.000 Transsexual, excuse me. 1.00

01:01:06.000 I'm using the wrong word.

01:01:08.000 Yes.

01:01:08.000 Vestite is just a pretender in a dress.

01:01:10.000 Forgive my ignorance. 0.93

01:01:11.000 Just a man in a dress. 0.99

01:01:12.000 Look, I live a sheltered life. 1.00

01:01:14.000 When you go and get your shit snipped. 0.99

01:01:16.000 That's when you move into the wonderful world of people that made the commitment. 0.99

01:01:20.000 Ben, what was the name of the other?

01:01:22.000 Nina Story.

01:01:23.000 So there's all these hormonal treatments that they have to undergo.

01:01:26.000 And they have to get them every week or every month.

01:01:28.000 I think so, yeah.

01:01:29.000 How do you afford that?

01:01:30.000 It's a good question.

01:01:31.000 I wonder if people's insurance companies pay for it.

01:01:34.000 Oh, boy.

01:01:35.000 I bet they do.

01:01:36.000 I bet.

01:01:36.000 Let's find out.

01:01:37.000 Okay, let's Google.

01:01:37.000 I bet they do.

01:01:38.000 I bet this is something that people have been trying.

01:01:41.000 There's a lot of transgenders in this country that are really in a bad place, and they do not have the money to be happy. 1.00

01:01:49.000 And if they just switch their gender, and I think that as a community, we should be doing that for them. 0.96

01:01:54.000 Can we give this person a name, this character?

01:01:56.000 This is my ultra-progressive dickwad.

01:01:59.000 What's the name? 0.74

01:02:00.000 I don't know.

01:02:02.000 Call it whatever you want.

01:02:03.000 Cami Jilson.

01:02:04.000 Shelly.

01:02:05.000 It's a man named Shelly.

01:02:06.000 I was just going to say Clarence.

01:02:09.000 Clarence.

01:02:10.000 What am I looking for?

01:02:11.000 I'm looking for insurance companies pay for sex change. 0.93

01:02:15.000 Okay, insurance. 0.99

01:02:16.000 And look at Buckstar Vagina also. 1.00

01:02:17.000 If it is, guys, this could be good for everybody. 0.93

01:02:20.000 I don't know why I said that.

01:02:22.000 What's wrong with you? 0.68

01:02:23.000 Trying to keep up with our retardedness. 1.00

01:02:25.000 I think so.

01:02:26.000 Well, I think I'm feeling warm.

01:02:27.000 Insurance company to pay for sex change.

01:02:30.000 Bam! 0.98

01:02:30.000 A Queens woman trapped for 34 years in a man's body wins a battle with her insurance company that balked at paying for her sex change operation. 0.98

01:02:41.000 Wow. 0.99

01:02:42.000 First of all, this is like really shitty journalism. 0.99

01:02:47.000 Really shitty. 0.98

01:02:48.000 New York Daily News. 0.99

01:02:49.000 You don't say a Queens woman trapped in a man's body wins a battle with your insurance company.

01:02:55.000 No.

01:02:55.000 No, no, no.

01:02:56.000 You say, transsexual man who became a woman wins a battle with an insurance company.

01:03:02.000 You don't say someone trapped in a man's body.

01:03:06.000 Maybe she's not. 1.00

01:03:07.000 Maybe you hang out with her for a couple of weeks and go, oh, no, this is just someone who's fucking crazy. 1.00

01:03:13.000 Isn't that possible? 0.99

01:03:14.000 No.

01:03:14.000 You've made this huge judgment and painted this in a very biased way.

01:03:20.000 Although she does look like a chick. 1.00

01:03:22.000 There's got to be some people out there that have had actual sex changes and then tried to go back. 0.70

01:03:28.000 Yeah, I'm sure.

01:03:30.000 I'm sure people were bummed out.

01:03:31.000 I remember this one.

01:03:32.000 This guy got really bummed out because he couldn't come anymore.

01:03:35.000 He realized that he was never going to come.

01:03:37.000 Well, that was what Nina Story talked about. 1.00

01:03:38.000 Nina Story is a famous transsexual that was also at this conference, the ever-mentioned conference.

01:03:43.000 And she had undergone how many surgeries, Ben?

01:03:48.000 She was addicted to plastic surgery.

01:03:51.000 She'd gone under like 60 times under the needle.

01:03:55.000 But she did something that was really interesting.

01:03:58.000 She chose to have her body be a canvas.

01:04:01.000 And she documented the whole change.

01:04:04.000 So she has videos and there is...

01:04:08.000 What's her name again?

01:04:09.000 Nina Story.

01:04:10.000 Oh my god, what have you done?

01:04:12.000 And it's funny because you look at her and she's just like this unbelievable...

01:04:17.000 She has a figure... 1.00

01:04:19.000 She's like Jessica Rabbit. 1.00

01:04:20.000 She looks like Jessica Rabbit, exactly. 0.99

01:04:21.000 And it's interesting.

01:04:23.000 It's just like it's a fascinating visual.

01:04:27.000 And she was really intense and she was talking about...

01:04:32.000 Her power and her energy and she had this really crazy voice.

01:04:35.000 I think this is the wrong person.

01:04:36.000 There's another Nina Story that's a singer. 1.00

01:04:38.000 Is it not Nina Story?

01:04:38.000 No, there's another chick.

01:04:40.000 There's just a chick who sings. 1.00

01:04:42.000 You fucking ruined her life. 1.00

01:04:44.000 A vocalist. 1.00

01:04:45.000 Audio clips, lyrics, concert schedule, photos, a style incorporating pop blues, funk, alternative rock, jazz and soul. 0.99

01:04:53.000 Plus, I used to have a dick. 0.99

01:04:57.000 Oh, no. 1.00

01:04:58.000 I think it's a different person.

01:05:00.000 I think it's a different person.

01:05:01.000 Did you find it?

01:05:02.000 Oh, Buck Angel. 1.00

01:05:03.000 Oh, what is that?

01:05:04.000 Oh, no.

01:05:05.000 Don't show him that. 0.99

01:05:05.000 He's showing me Buck Angel's enlarged clitoris. 0.99

01:05:08.000 Is it enlarged? 0.99

01:05:08.000 Yes. 0.99

01:05:09.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

01:05:10.000 Oh, my God.

01:05:10.000 It's quite funky.

01:05:11.000 Okay, I'm going to look up Nina Story.

01:05:13.000 Why did you have to do that?

01:05:14.000 Don't you understand?

01:05:17.000 It makes me uncomfortable.

01:05:19.000 Why?

01:05:21.000 It makes me so confused.

01:05:22.000 Don't be.

01:05:23.000 Okay?

01:05:24.000 Don't be.

01:05:25.000 But that was what they both talked about.

01:05:28.000 And I don't blame them.

01:05:29.000 They said that they didn't want to go with the full sexual transformation because the propensity of losing your orgasm was very high.

01:05:37.000 And who wants to lose that? 1.00

01:05:39.000 But how are you going to look like a chick if you still have a dick? 1.00

01:05:43.000 If you want to really be a woman and pretend you're a woman, you're going to have to give something up. 1.00

01:05:47.000 You're going to have to give up shooting loads.

01:05:48.000 Yeah, it's called a mangina. 1.00

01:05:50.000 You're going to have to give up shooting loads.

01:05:51.000 Never. 1.00

01:05:53.000 I think if a man wants to be considered a woman, you can't have a dick. 1.00

01:05:58.000 If you want us to call you Shane. 0.99

01:05:59.000 You know what's really funny, you guys?

01:06:00.000 I was tempted to tell my parents to listen to this one.

01:06:03.000 Because they haven't listened to the previous two that we did here.

01:06:06.000 And I was like, I bet today's going to be different.

01:06:08.000 Because I feel like everything's cool.

01:06:11.000 You're talking about education.

01:06:13.000 Are you sure it's not Nina Arsenal?

01:06:16.000 That's it.

01:06:16.000 Nina Arsenal.

01:06:17.000 Nina Arsenal.

01:06:17.000 Dude, Nina Story.

01:06:18.000 We are sorry, Nina Story.

01:06:20.000 Nina Story, sweetie.

01:06:22.000 It's Nina Arsenault.

01:06:22.000 Sweetie, we're so sorry.

01:06:24.000 Please go support Nina Story on iTunes. 1.00

01:06:27.000 Go buy her shit. 1.00

01:06:28.000 We apologize. 1.00

01:06:30.000 Nina Arsenault.

01:06:30.000 I'm sure your twinkle's doing great.

01:06:32.000 He does look like a crazy Barbie doll type thing.

01:06:35.000 Jesus Christ. 0.87

01:06:36.000 The silicone diaries.

01:06:38.000 Okay, so I guess that's his thing.

01:06:40.000 What's really amazing is the body language.

01:06:42.000 She still moved like a dude. 1.00

01:06:44.000 Oh, stop before I puke! 0.91

01:06:46.000 No, she didn't.

01:06:47.000 She did.

01:06:47.000 I thought she was very feminine.

01:06:49.000 She sat down like this.

01:06:50.000 Well, she said that because she said that when she would open her legs to you, that was her power energy coming at you. 1.00

01:06:55.000 Wow, power energy.

01:06:59.000 That was her opening up her metaphorical hole. 0.98

01:07:05.000 Oh, my goodness, son.

01:07:07.000 My goodness.

01:07:09.000 Joey Diaz and I were in Vegas once, and a transsexual showed us the package. 1.00

01:07:16.000 Mrs. Rogan was there as well, and she got a chance to look at it too.

01:07:20.000 And Joey said it best.

01:07:21.000 He said, it looked like a bat with its mouth open.

01:07:23.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:07:24.000 It looked like someone had slammed an apple core into someone's cock. 1.00

01:07:28.000 It's like, you don't need that anymore. 1.00

01:07:30.000 Let me just scoop that bitch out. 1.00

01:07:32.000 And then pull some ball skin over the hole and stitch it. 1.00

01:07:35.000 It looked like an empty hole where a dick used to be. 1.00

01:07:39.000 Oh, wait. 1.00

01:07:39.000 It was a... 1.00

01:07:40.000 Yeah, dude.

01:07:41.000 And it's in the wrong spot, too, by the by.

01:07:43.000 Have you ever noticed that?

01:07:44.000 Was it on the front? 1.00

01:07:45.000 Well, fake vaginas, they're more towards the front than the real vagina. 1.00

01:07:50.000 You know, real vaginas sort of tucked a little bit further back. 1.00

01:07:53.000 Well, do they feel different than the real vaginas like? 1.00

01:07:54.000 Well, it tastes different. 0.98

01:07:56.000 They're a lot more salty.

01:07:57.000 They're fake ones.

01:07:58.000 Oh, come on! 0.99

01:07:58.000 Come on! 0.99

01:07:59.000 What are you doing? 1.00

01:08:00.000 You're fucking kidding me. 1.00

01:08:02.000 You're kidding me. 1.00

01:08:03.000 Wait, you can't show tits on news streams? 1.00

01:08:06.000 You're a criminal, but you can show that. 1.00

01:08:07.000 Well, that wasn't real. 0.99

01:08:07.000 It just looked like it was something sexual. 0.99

01:08:09.000 But it was just a dude with his hand being silly. 0.99

01:08:13.000 Maybe you guys can fucking exercise the horrible feelings and thoughts in this room and sweep them out of here with a song. 0.98

01:08:20.000 Can you do that? 0.98

01:08:21.000 Because this conversation has gone dark.

01:08:23.000 Yeah, can we?

01:08:23.000 It's been a dark one.

01:08:25.000 This is a dark one.

01:08:26.000 Well, somehow or another, we started out...

01:08:29.000 We started off so well with dogs.

01:08:30.000 It was like dog world, dogs, people weeing on each other, and it was okay.

01:08:34.000 I mean, it was a quick...

01:08:36.000 Descent from there.

01:08:37.000 But we got the school shootings, I think, that led us to a dark place.

01:08:41.000 Then we tried to recover with some humor.

01:08:43.000 Transsexual talk.

01:08:44.000 Yeah.

01:08:44.000 I'm exhausted.

01:08:45.000 Crazy.

01:08:46.000 Got a little crazy.

01:08:47.000 Well, you guys brought up the Buck Cherry.

01:08:49.000 Buck Cherry.

01:08:50.000 Also a different...

01:08:52.000 Yeah, you guys are friends.

01:08:54.000 I'm so glad you just said Buck Cherry.

01:08:56.000 Buck Angel.

01:08:56.000 I mean, Buck Angel.

01:08:58.000 Do you guys know Buck Cherry?

01:08:59.000 I've seen him.

01:09:00.000 Don't know him personally.

01:09:01.000 Oh, okay.

01:09:02.000 You don't have like a Buck Cherry story?

01:09:04.000 I don't like to pee.

01:09:06.000 I like that cocaine song.

01:09:07.000 I've never even done cocaine, but that song is great.

01:09:10.000 It gets you gone.

01:09:11.000 Yeah.

01:09:11.000 Oh, man.

01:09:12.000 He loves the cocaine.

01:09:13.000 He loves the cocaine.

01:09:14.000 You know what the new thing is?

01:09:15.000 It's liquid cocaine.

01:09:17.000 I've seen a lot of people having this liquid cocaine where it's in like a nose spray thing.

01:09:22.000 Really?

01:09:22.000 And you just spray it in your nose.

01:09:24.000 No way.

01:09:25.000 Yeah.

01:09:25.000 That is crazy.

01:09:26.000 And so it just looks like nasal spray.

01:09:28.000 So it looks like you're just cleaning your nose out.

01:09:31.000 Yeah.

01:09:31.000 You're just doing nasal spray.

01:09:31.000 Oh, my God.

01:09:32.000 And so these people just carry them around in their purse and they're like...

01:09:36.000 It's crazy.

01:09:36.000 Wow!

01:09:37.000 And I guess it's better also for you.

01:09:39.000 It's healthy.

01:09:40.000 It's like the e-cigarette.

01:09:41.000 It's really clean and good for you. 0.99

01:09:43.000 It's like the e-cigarette with a fucking Stephen Dorff commercial. 0.99

01:09:47.000 Guys, let's take back our ability to do coke in public. 0.99

01:09:53.000 Take back our freedom.

01:09:55.000 Have you seen that commercial with Stephen Dorff?

01:09:57.000 Oh my god.

01:09:59.000 It possibly broke the douchebag scale.

01:10:04.000 It might have broken the douchebag scale.

01:10:06.000 Brian, pull it up please while we're waiting for beautiful Suzanne to urinate. 1.00

01:10:10.000 This is a video.

01:10:11.000 Blue cigarettes.

01:10:12.000 Stephen Dorff commercial.

01:10:14.000 Blue cigarettes.

01:10:14.000 It is easily the douchiest commercial in the history of the world.

01:10:18.000 He's in black and white and he's smoking an e-cigarette.

01:10:22.000 Take his freedom back, man.

01:10:25.000 What's his thing?

01:10:26.000 How come we know Stephen Dorff?

01:10:28.000 He was in Blade.

01:10:29.000 Okay.

01:10:30.000 Was that his breakout role?

01:10:32.000 Not his...

01:10:33.000 I mean, he did a lot of movies, but he was in Blade. 0.99

01:10:36.000 I mean, he was the fucking head vampire in Blade. 0.99

01:10:38.000 From there on, it's been a downhill slide. 1.00

01:10:40.000 To the point where...

01:10:42.000 No disrespect.

01:10:43.000 And he's like, what about you, Fear Factor guy?

01:10:45.000 Listen, we're just talking about reality here, son.

01:10:48.000 Don't get upset.

01:10:49.000 You're building.

01:10:50.000 I probably would have done that commercial too, that cigarette commercial, if they paid me enough.

01:10:55.000 Yeah.

01:10:55.000 Why not?

01:10:57.000 Who knows?

01:10:58.000 But once you see it, you're just like, whoa.

01:11:01.000 You've got to be really unaware to write this, to ask someone to do it.

01:11:06.000 Forget about him.

01:11:07.000 Look at this.

01:11:09.000 Wait, Tisa.

01:11:12.000 Brian, stop with the music.

01:11:14.000 I'm tired of being a walking asterisk.

01:11:17.000 Negative, too.

01:11:19.000 I'm tired of feeling guilty every time I want to light up.

01:11:22.000 Negative.

01:11:22.000 One.

01:11:23.000 I'm tired of being a walking ass trick. 0.99

01:11:26.000 Negative. 0.99

01:11:27.000 Two.

01:11:27.000 I'm tired of feeling guilty every time I want to light up.

01:11:30.000 I'm Steven Dorff.

01:11:31.000 I've been a smoker for 20 years.

01:11:32.000 Hold on.

01:11:32.000 Pause this.

01:11:33.000 Suzanne must see this.

01:11:34.000 You've got to see this.

01:11:35.000 Hurry up and sit down.

01:11:37.000 The Steven Dorff cigarette commercial?

01:11:39.000 Have you seen this? 0.69

01:11:42.000 It's the douchiest commercial. 0.87

01:11:43.000 Oh, you broke your leg. 0.94

01:11:44.000 It's the douchiest commercial in the history of the human race.

01:11:47.000 I don't think there's been a douchier commercial.

01:11:49.000 It's for Stephen Dorff for electric cigarettes.

01:11:52.000 Negative one.

01:11:54.000 I'm tired of being a walking ashtray.

01:11:56.000 Negative two.

01:11:57.000 I'm tired of feeling guilty every time I want to light up.

01:12:00.000 I'm Stephen Dorff.

01:12:01.000 I've been a smoker for 20 years.

01:12:03.000 And I just found the smarter alternative.

01:12:07.000 Blue e-cigs.

01:12:09.000 Blue lets me enjoy smoking without it affecting the people around me.

01:12:12.000 He's in Malibu, by the way.

01:12:13.000 Look at this, look at this.

01:12:14.000 Not tobacco smoke.

01:12:16.000 That means no ash.

01:12:18.000 And best of all, no offensive odor.

01:12:20.000 With Blue, you can smoke at a basketball game if you want to.

01:12:24.000 And how about not having to go outside every ten minutes when you're in a bar with your friends?

01:12:28.000 The point is, you can smoke Blue virtually anywhere. 0.99

01:12:32.000 Oh, that's so dumb. 0.99

01:12:33.000 Oh, I don't like this. 1.00

01:12:34.000 I don't like it.

01:12:34.000 We're all adults here.

01:12:35.000 It's really bad.

01:12:36.000 It's time we take our freedom back.

01:12:38.000 It's time we take our freedom back.

01:12:39.000 I like how he looks away.

01:12:40.000 He paused away.

01:12:41.000 Looked away. 1.00

01:12:42.000 Stop it with the music, you fuck. 1.00

01:12:44.000 Look at him. 1.00

01:12:45.000 Look at him.

01:12:45.000 He's looking cool, black and white.

01:12:47.000 That is so unbelievable.

01:12:48.000 Holds it out.

01:12:49.000 It broke the douchebag scale.

01:12:51.000 It literally broke the douchebag scale. 0.99

01:12:53.000 It's black and white for no fucking reason. 0.98

01:12:55.000 There's no reason for that. 0.98

01:12:56.000 It's an artistic choice, man. 0.99

01:12:58.000 I'm going to do this commercial, but I want it to be arty as fuck. 0.99

01:13:01.000 Oh, no. 0.99

01:13:02.000 I want to look like Jack Kerouac.

01:13:04.000 I have to be honest with you.

01:13:05.000 I smoke electronic cigarettes because...

01:13:07.000 There's nothing wrong with smoking them.

01:13:08.000 I don't like to tell anyone or do it in public because I'm embarrassed, but I'm satisfied because I'm not smoking regular cigarettes because I love them, but they're bad for me.

01:13:18.000 Well, I don't think electronic cigarettes are good for you either.

01:13:20.000 That was one of the douchiest things I've ever seen in my life. 0.99

01:13:23.000 It's ridiculous! 0.98

01:13:24.000 And I feel like I need to take a time out. 0.95

01:13:28.000 No, listen.

01:13:29.000 I support the idea of electric cigarettes.

01:13:32.000 It's not...

01:13:33.000 The idea of electric cigarettes, I totally support it.

01:13:36.000 But that approach, the cool guy on the beach in Malibu...

01:13:39.000 It's not cool!

01:13:39.000 That's the thing.

01:13:40.000 Someone should get up there and be like, hey, I do this.

01:13:42.000 But it's pretty...

01:13:43.000 But the image that they're trying to portray is like this man who's like rugged with his like his stubble by the ocean with like a seaman's jacket on you know I mean he has this fucking Jack Kerouac look to him like he's gonna go write the great American novel and he's just so cool to be around goes to the local bar and they all know him by name you know me and Buck Angel like to smoke cigarettes on the beach that's what they should do we should Comes out,

01:14:09.000 the Buck Angel's pregnant with Stephen Dorff's love child.

01:14:12.000 That's another thing.

01:14:13.000 What if Buck Angel got pregnant? 1.00

01:14:15.000 I don't know.

01:14:16.000 I don't know if he can anymore.

01:14:18.000 They would come out, they would be dragons.

01:14:21.000 That's where dragons come from. 0.69

01:14:23.000 When societies figure out how to turn a man into a woman, then a guy fucks it, and then it gets pregnant, a dragon is born. 0.95

01:14:29.000 I think I saw that in Game of Thrones.

01:14:32.000 Where is it?

01:14:32.000 Game of Thrones coming out in March.

01:14:34.000 Is it?

01:14:35.000 Yeah.

01:14:35.000 Ooh, you just made me excited about March.

01:14:37.000 I can't wait.

01:14:38.000 Now the end of the world can't come.

01:14:40.000 You know what?

01:14:42.000 Honestly, I'm going to take back what I said before.

01:14:45.000 About what?

01:14:45.000 I think we're okay.

01:14:46.000 I think we're okay.

01:14:47.000 I really do.

01:14:47.000 We're okay.

01:14:48.000 But the aliens are coming.

01:14:49.000 Well, I think the aliens are already here.

01:14:51.000 I know.

01:14:52.000 If you get in an isolation tank, they'll talk to you.

01:14:54.000 Did you...

01:14:55.000 There's that show.

01:14:56.000 This is... 0.98

01:14:57.000 I fucking love this. 0.94

01:14:58.000 I haven't seen it. 0.98

01:14:58.000 I don't even know... 0.98

01:14:59.000 What's the show called on ABC? The Neighbors or something where it's about aliens and they come to life.

01:15:05.000 No.

01:15:06.000 They come to Earth.

01:15:06.000 That's what the dude from ER. I'm not sure, but all I know is my friend told me about it and forgive me if I misquote myself.

01:15:15.000 But the show is about these aliens that come to Earth, and they look like people, and they don't have substantial up-to-date information on how to integrate themselves into the human society.

01:15:27.000 They have this sports almanac from 1985, so they all give themselves names like Jackie Joyner-Kersee and Larry Bird and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and it's like a six-year-old white kid, and his name's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

01:15:40.000 I could be totally wrong.

01:15:41.000 I've never seen the show, but my friend was telling me about it, and I thought that was funny.

01:15:44.000 That's kind of funny.

01:15:45.000 The end.

01:15:45.000 Yeah, that's how the aliens come, and six-year-olds that pretend to be black athletes.

01:15:50.000 Dude, I would.

01:15:52.000 Yeah, that's how you do it. 0.90

01:15:54.000 Confuse the fuck out of everybody.

01:15:56.000 Before you guys get started, I gotta give a shout out to the Float Lab.

01:15:59.000 The Float Lab in Venice, California, the premier isolation tank people, builders in the country.

01:16:06.000 They're on the West Coast.

01:16:08.000 If you're ever in California, if you're in San Francisco, take a flight down.

01:16:11.000 Trust me.

01:16:12.000 You need to see what these guys are doing.

01:16:13.000 They're taking isolation tanks to the next level.

01:16:17.000 They just installed a new one in my basement this week.

01:16:19.000 It's crazy.

01:16:20.000 You gotta come see it.

01:16:21.000 We gotta make a new video.

01:16:22.000 Remember that last video?

01:16:23.000 Let's make a new one.

01:16:24.000 Because this new one's insane.

01:16:26.000 And I want to take care of them.

01:16:28.000 If you're in Venice, or anywhere near it, and you can get there, I think it's only like 40 bucks for an hour and a half or something like that.

01:16:35.000 They're very reasonable.

01:16:36.000 And without a doubt, they have the best equipment on the planet Earth.

01:16:39.000 This new one they put in my basement is 8 feet long and 6 feet wide.

01:16:45.000 It's huge. 1.00

01:16:47.000 Yeah, you could have a party in that bitch. 1.00

01:16:50.000 Buck Angel and Buck Cherry together. 1.00

01:16:54.000 And if Buck Angel got pregnant from Buck Cherry, that might be the apocalypse. 0.99

01:17:01.000 Dude, what if you had to be in the isolation take with all of them and Stevendorf?

01:17:05.000 Yeah.

01:17:06.000 Ow! 1.00

01:17:07.000 You're crazy, bitch, but you fuck so good, I'm on top of it! 1.00

01:17:10.000 Ha ha ha! 1.00

01:17:12.000 Hey, get off me. 1.00

01:17:13.000 Get off me, man.

01:17:14.000 I'm trying to be cool by the beach, man.

01:17:16.000 I don't think what you're doing is cool at all.

01:17:19.000 Get it together.

01:17:20.000 Good for you.

01:17:21.000 Electronic cigarettes.

01:17:22.000 Tired of being guilty.

01:17:23.000 Tired of being guilty about lighting up.

01:17:26.000 And you can light up at a basketball game, because you know me, man.

01:17:29.000 I like to go to the game.

01:17:31.000 Hang out with the guys.

01:17:32.000 Have a beer. 1.00

01:17:33.000 Why does your man vagina smell like Jay Moore? 1.00

01:17:38.000 What exactly does Jay Moore smell like? 1.00

01:17:40.000 I don't know.

01:17:41.000 Buck Cherry?

01:17:42.000 Buck Angel?

01:17:45.000 By the way, I'm a Buck Cherry fan.

01:17:47.000 Don't get it twisted.

01:17:49.000 I like Buck Cherry. 1.00

01:17:52.000 That crazy bitch song, when I think about my ex-girlfriends, all of them, they could play all my memories of every chick that I dated until I was like 26 and throw them together with a Buck Cherry song, that crazy bitch song. 1.00

01:18:06.000 Just all of my memories of every crazy one of them splice them all together. 0.99

01:18:11.000 So, respect to Buck Cherry.

01:18:13.000 And respect to Buck Angel. 1.00

01:18:15.000 Fuck it, man. 1.00

01:18:16.000 If you really feel like you were a dude, fuck it. 1.00

01:18:19.000 Get in there, son. 1.00

01:18:20.000 You've done a great job of looking exactly like a dude.

01:18:24.000 If you were in jiu-jitsu class, I wouldn't want to roll with you.

01:18:26.000 You look quite big. 0.99

01:18:28.000 I don't have to deal with that kind of fucking horsepower. 0.99

01:18:31.000 Would you shrimp out? 1.00

01:18:33.000 I would hip escape.

01:18:34.000 Try to hip escape.

01:18:36.000 You know what we did on Saturday night this past weekend?

01:18:39.000 Inside shrimp out joke.

01:18:39.000 We went to an amateur wrestling night in Nashville, Tennessee.

01:18:43.000 Oh, that sounds awesome.

01:18:44.000 Those things, that was our second one.

01:18:46.000 We went to one in Cleveland this past year, like three months ago, by default.

01:18:51.000 And it is an unbelievable thing.

01:18:54.000 It's a social experiment, right?

01:18:56.000 It really is.

01:18:58.000 For some reason, around really big dudes, something happens to me where...

01:19:03.000 It's called ovulating.

01:19:04.000 I think it is.

01:19:05.000 I swear to God.

01:19:08.000 One time I was in Las Vegas with my whole family, by the way, because we all like to drink and gamble.

01:19:14.000 We were at the Rio, and it was Christmas time.

01:19:17.000 All of a sudden, all these Chippendales came out with Santa Claus. 1.00

01:19:20.000 I was like, oh my God!

01:19:22.000 I got pulled onto stage...

01:19:24.000 And I couldn't do anything except go, just like freaking out.

01:19:28.000 Because they picked me up and they were just so big and I just kept touching their arms and I was like, oh my god!

01:19:33.000 Did your hormones start firing over time?

01:19:36.000 Did your eggs start rumbling?

01:19:38.000 I'm a real personality kind of girl, so the whole thing, I think just the actual visual is such a shock to my system of like a big dude who's like picking me up and his shirt's off and he's hairless and greasy.

01:19:53.000 But were you willing to let it go and like accept the fantasy?

01:19:57.000 Oh yeah, it was a total fantasy. 1.00

01:19:58.000 Total magic mic on this motherfucker? 0.99

01:20:00.000 Yeah, I mean, and I don't know, in my mind he's probably hung like a field mouse and I was fine. 1.00

01:20:04.000 Oh, in your mind?

01:20:05.000 You figured out a way to rationalize it?

01:20:07.000 I was like, yeah, there's nothing, this is all wrong.

01:20:09.000 Is this all wrong?

01:20:10.000 Because you're a personality girl.

01:20:11.000 The big dude thing is such a crazy phenomenon to me.

01:20:17.000 So if you could go into a parallel dimension, which could never be accessed again, and those Chippendales guys could just run a train on you, but no one would ever know, you'd be cool with that. 1.00

01:20:25.000 I don't know about that.

01:20:25.000 As long as you could just let it go.

01:20:27.000 It's not even real.

01:20:29.000 It doesn't even exist.

01:20:30.000 And after it's over, you go right back to the moment where you thought up that idea.

01:20:33.000 You're the only one with a memory.

01:20:34.000 It's all good.

01:20:35.000 You know, if we had some deep talks and they held me afterwards, I think I'd be cool with it.

01:20:39.000 It's tough to find deep talks from the Chippin' Nails guys. 0.98

01:20:42.000 Probably a lot of Chippin' Nails guys are listening to this podcast right now and they're going, bro, okay? 0.96

01:20:46.000 If you were in my shoes, you'd fucking take this job too. 0.94

01:20:48.000 Dude, you know what? 0.99

01:20:48.000 Let me tell you something. 0.99

01:20:49.000 Magic Mike fucking got me going. 0.98

01:20:51.000 I was into it. 1.00

01:20:52.000 But any whore, I digress. 1.00

01:20:54.000 Any whore? 1.00

01:20:55.000 We were at the amateur wrestling night, and there was one of those dudes, and it was like, he was not, obviously, he wasn't grade A top choice muscle meat for me, but he was really interesting, and there was like... 0.98

01:21:07.000 Great personality.

01:21:08.000 I disagree, but...

01:21:10.000 Grade A top choice muscle meat.

01:21:12.000 How do you define that?

01:21:15.000 He wasn't, I said.

01:21:17.000 Are you looking for a Brock Lesnar type character?

01:21:19.000 What is your grade A muscle meat?

01:21:21.000 I'm not sure who that is, but I like that name.

01:21:23.000 Brock Lesnar is a former UFC heavyweight champion.

01:21:25.000 See, this is not my realm, so I need some help.

01:21:29.000 He kind of looks like the Russian dude in Rocky.

01:21:30.000 Yeah, he looks like a Viking.

01:21:33.000 I'm into that, you know? 1.00

01:21:34.000 He's come here on a boat with a fucking sword in his hand. 1.00

01:21:39.000 To pleasure me? 1.00

01:21:40.000 Not really. 1.00

01:21:41.000 Yeah, he'll probably cut your head off after he fucks you. 1.00

01:21:43.000 Yeah, no, I don't know about that. 1.00

01:21:44.000 But while he's fucking you, it'll be like an experience. 0.99

01:21:47.000 This is so bad. 1.00

01:21:48.000 I cannot believe I was going to tell my parents to listen to this podcast.

01:21:51.000 I hope to Christ they don't.

01:21:53.000 I'm sorry, guys.

01:21:54.000 Mr. and Mrs. Honey Honey, we really apologize if you're listening right now.

01:21:57.000 We didn't mean to paint her in such an unfavorable light.

01:22:00.000 They can hang.

01:22:01.000 This is all just play. 0.52

01:22:02.000 We're play.

01:22:02.000 This is entertainment.

01:22:03.000 In real life, I would never talk to your daughter like that.

01:22:05.000 She's a beautiful human being and I respect her very much.

01:22:08.000 But on the podcast, we've got to take our shots.

01:22:11.000 For entertainment.

01:22:12.000 Okay?

01:22:13.000 And that's where the whole gangbang, run a train, Chippendales in the parallel dimension thing came from.

01:22:18.000 I don't want that to happen.

01:22:20.000 I don't think Suzanne wants that to happen either.

01:22:22.000 They were there!

01:22:24.000 But afterwards, what do they say to you?

01:22:27.000 I don't think anybody knew what to do, because I was just like, wow!

01:22:30.000 I was high.

01:22:32.000 I mean, they picked me up.

01:22:33.000 They picked me up.

01:22:34.000 Right.

01:22:34.000 Did that feel good, though?

01:22:35.000 Oh, yeah.

01:22:36.000 Kind of exciting.

01:22:37.000 Because I'm tall and dinky, and that doesn't happen very often.

01:22:40.000 Like, I can manhandle you?

01:22:41.000 Yeah.

01:22:42.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:22:43.000 Women want that shit. 1.00

01:22:44.000 That's your DNA crying out. 1.00

01:22:45.000 That's why a dude doesn't want the opposite.

01:22:47.000 A guy doesn't want a chick who carries him upstairs. 1.00

01:22:49.000 Like, what the fuck? 1.00

01:22:50.000 If a girl picks you up and carries you upstairs to fuck you, you're like, okay. 1.00

01:22:55.000 You're already defeated. 1.00

01:22:56.000 How many times has that happened to you, Joe?

01:22:58.000 I don't think it's ever happened to me yet, but...

01:23:01.000 Mrs. Rogan?

01:23:02.000 Life is young.

01:23:03.000 Things can happen.

01:23:05.000 People can get crazy.

01:23:06.000 Yeah, but a man doesn't want a woman to carry him, right? 1.00

01:23:08.000 Yeah.

01:23:09.000 Have you ever had a girl carry you, Ben?

01:23:12.000 Not in a sexual sense.

01:23:14.000 Maybe just around town.

01:23:16.000 I've hopped on a few backs, I think.

01:23:17.000 Wow.

01:23:19.000 You've got to be really confident that someone doesn't fall backwards.

01:23:24.000 I have a picture of you of Chris holding you and two more of your friends.

01:23:29.000 He's a big guy.

01:23:31.000 Two more of your friends?

01:23:32.000 He picked up three people?

01:23:34.000 Three able-bodied adults.

01:23:35.000 Although the lady was on the small side. 0.99

01:23:37.000 She was very tiny.

01:23:37.000 What's the small side?

01:23:38.000 100 pounds?

01:23:40.000 She's probably like a 5'2-er. 1.00

01:23:41.000 That's a lot.

01:23:42.000 Something like that.

01:23:43.000 To add to a dude.

01:23:43.000 He's a big dude.

01:23:44.000 He's like your 7-foot bro.

01:23:45.000 Wow.

01:23:46.000 There's some big humans out there.

01:23:49.000 It happens.

01:23:51.000 Honey, honey, what are you going to play for us?

01:23:53.000 What do you want to do first?

01:23:55.000 Excuse me?

01:23:56.000 What?

01:23:58.000 I literally just said it.

01:23:59.000 You want to do Radiohead?

01:24:00.000 Okay, here we go.

01:24:01.000 Because the other one's sad.

01:24:03.000 Yeah, no sadness.

01:24:04.000 This is a cover.

01:24:06.000 Obviously.

01:24:07.000 This is a song by Radiohead that we wrote.

01:24:11.000 You ready?

01:24:12.000 I think so.

01:24:17.000 Don't start without me.

01:24:19.000 I just borrowed this guitar.

01:24:25.000 I don't want to hit this thing.

01:24:26.000 Okay.

01:24:30.000 We're just gonna go with it.

01:24:31.000 Yeah, let's do it, Benny.

01:24:33.000 You ready?

01:24:33.000 Yeah, is that okay?

01:24:38.000 Here we go, bitches. 1.00

01:24:39.000 One more time. 1.00

01:24:40.000 Used to be alright.

01:24:58.000 What happened?

01:25:00.000 The cat gets your tongue.

01:25:06.000 Your string come undone.

01:25:28.000 I know where I started.

01:25:30.000 How come I end up where I went wrong?

01:25:33.000 Won't take my eye off the ball again.

01:25:36.000 First you reel me out and then you cut the string.

01:25:54.000 It used to be alright.

01:25:58.000 What happened?

01:26:06.000 Fats for whatever.

01:26:13.000 Fifteen steps and a sheer drive.

01:26:29.000 We're good to go.

01:26:34.000 We're good to go.

01:26:35.000 We're good to go.

01:27:09.000 How come I end up where I started?

01:27:12.000 How come I end up where I went wrong?

01:27:15.000 Won't take my eye off the ball again?

01:27:18.000 First you rule me out and then you cut the string.

01:27:24.000 How come I end up where I started?

01:27:27.000 How come I end up where I went wrong?

01:27:31.000 Won't take my eye off the ball again?

01:27:33.000 First you rule me out and then you cut the string.

01:27:44.000 That was really cool.

01:27:49.000 That's very cool, very different for you guys.

01:27:52.000 It was weird.

01:27:53.000 Love it, love it.

01:27:55.000 That's a really interesting take on that song, too.

01:27:59.000 You know, we haven't played that as a duo, which was scary.

01:28:02.000 Oh, really?

01:28:03.000 But we played with my roommate, this very talented musician, Ben Lewis, and he played, we did it a little trio style, and he played mandolin and sings, so it was kind of, it really sounded bluegrass.

01:28:14.000 Is it still scary for you guys?

01:28:16.000 I mean, when you think, like, you guys perform so much together, I would think you have almost like a sort of an ESP when it comes to doing a song together and you know how to, like, ebb and flow with each other.

01:28:26.000 Does it, like, when you, like, a song like that where you haven't done as a duo before and you were just doing it?

01:28:31.000 Yeah, because you don't want it to suck.

01:28:33.000 What? 0.84

01:28:34.000 It's not going to suck.

01:28:35.000 It's not going to suck. 0.98

01:28:37.000 No, but I mean, especially if you're going to cover a fucking Radiohead song, you want to do it some justice. 0.96

01:28:42.000 I think that was like a B minus. 0.94

01:28:44.000 What did you think?

01:28:45.000 Oh, that was great. 1.00

01:28:45.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:28:46.000 Don't judge yourself. 1.00

01:28:47.000 Okay.

01:28:47.000 There you go.

01:28:48.000 You're right.

01:28:48.000 I'm sorry.

01:28:49.000 You sounded really good. 0.99

01:28:53.000 Radiohead, they release all their shit online, right? 0.99

01:28:55.000 Did they do that? 1.00

01:28:56.000 I don't know.

01:28:56.000 They do both now.

01:28:59.000 They did at least one of their albums online, yeah.

01:29:01.000 I think they were the first big band to say, name your price.

01:29:04.000 Oh, really?

01:29:06.000 Yeah.

01:29:06.000 Oh, wow.

01:29:07.000 So how do they do that?

01:29:08.000 They just say, like, you put up a PayPal account or something like that and say, you can give us a buck or you can give us hefty bucks.

01:29:13.000 Didn't they make, like, over a million dollars?

01:29:14.000 Yeah, yeah, they made so much money.

01:29:16.000 Do you think if we do that, we'll make millions of dollars, too?

01:29:18.000 I don't think we're quite there yet.

01:29:20.000 I don't know.

01:29:21.000 Maybe we should try.

01:29:23.000 Do you guys feel a build-up?

01:29:25.000 Do you feel like your crowds are getting larger?

01:29:27.000 Your Twitter followers are getting more?

01:29:29.000 Are you getting more attention?

01:29:30.000 Do you feel it?

01:29:31.000 We're kind of cruising right now because we're working on this record.

01:29:34.000 So we haven't been going out much.

01:29:36.000 We haven't been touring that much.

01:29:37.000 And it's not a lot.

01:29:38.000 It is a lot because we're not...

01:29:40.000 We're not touring.

01:29:42.000 You're just creating new stuff?

01:29:44.000 Yeah.

01:29:44.000 When you do that, do you take time off the road and you just say, okay, we have to set aside X amount of weeks?

01:29:52.000 How do you do it?

01:29:55.000 We keep trying to set deadlines.

01:29:57.000 No, we're setting deadlines.

01:30:00.000 We're going to be recording by late February, but we have a lot of work to do.

01:30:05.000 We have a lot of writing.

01:30:06.000 That we haven't done yet.

01:30:07.000 It's so funny.

01:30:08.000 Last time we were here, we were doing the Kickstarter stuff.

01:30:11.000 And in between, we've been making all the rewards.

01:30:13.000 All the people who donated the campaign were sitting around.

01:30:16.000 There's a photo to haikus, man. 1.00

01:30:17.000 Let me tell you something.

01:30:18.000 That's hilarious.

01:30:20.000 It's been really, really fun and...

01:30:26.000 It's just the two of us.

01:30:28.000 Nobody's helping us with it, which is really the truth.

01:30:33.000 90% of them, we don't know who they are.

01:30:37.000 It's such a cool feeling.

01:30:40.000 People giving us $500 or even $25, whatever the case, is a really amazing feeling.

01:30:46.000 And then to write them their haiku.

01:30:51.000 Well, it's really cool.

01:30:53.000 I hear what you're saying.

01:30:54.000 It was fun, but we're almost done, and we've got a couple shows, things like that here and there, but really we're just writing.

01:31:01.000 It's really cool, and these people are always going to have this connection with you now.

01:31:07.000 Yeah, it has been a good thing to see all these names.

01:31:10.000 We know the names, too.

01:31:12.000 We have addresses. 0.99

01:31:13.000 We fucking know where you live. 0.98

01:31:16.000 It's really badass when you stop and think about it. 0.99

01:31:18.000 You might need to sleep on your couch.

01:31:20.000 It's so unusual, you know, to really stop and think about it.

01:31:23.000 How often does a band get to do that?

01:31:25.000 I mean, the Rolling Stones never got a chance to do that when they were coming up, you know?

01:31:29.000 Who gets a chance to do that?

01:31:30.000 No, but they hung out with the Hells Angels and no big deal.

01:31:33.000 Is that okay?

01:31:34.000 That's a substitute?

01:31:34.000 That's what we need to do is we need to get a motorcycle gang behind us and I think that's just like straight to the tippy top.

01:31:40.000 That gets like people stabbed. 1.00

01:31:42.000 You gotta be really careful with that shit. 1.00

01:31:44.000 I mean, lives aren't so bad. 1.00

01:31:47.000 Just kidding.

01:31:48.000 I make jokes.

01:31:49.000 This is kind of a weird, maybe terrible thing.

01:31:52.000 I got through the airport security with a knife.

01:31:54.000 Somebody else just told me the exact same thing the other day.

01:31:57.000 You did?

01:31:57.000 I realized it was in my jacket.

01:32:00.000 What are you carrying a knife for?

01:32:01.000 What are you doing, man?

01:32:02.000 It's a gift. 0.99

01:32:03.000 You getting crazy? 1.00

01:32:04.000 Maybe I have to shit on the fucker. 1.00

01:32:06.000 When you're a jet, you're a jet for life? 1.00

01:32:08.000 A switchblade's making a comeback?

01:32:10.000 Yes.

01:32:11.000 I carry a knife on me all the time.

01:32:13.000 Do you really?

01:32:13.000 Yeah.

01:32:14.000 Wow, you gangster.

01:32:17.000 Some packages are really hard to open, Joe. 0.87

01:32:19.000 When you walk to your car, you want to open something, you got a little thread on your coat, just...

01:32:25.000 Listen, don't think I don't appreciate it. 0.99

01:32:26.000 If I was a chick, I'd be armed as fuck. 0.98

01:32:29.000 You know, I didn't really think about it as much until I moved to Nashville, and I'm alone a lot of the time, so it's like, never mind. 0.99

01:32:36.000 I'm fine.

01:32:37.000 I'm totally armed.

01:32:38.000 I have a big dog.

01:32:40.000 Dude's just pulled their pants off. 1.00

01:32:41.000 Dude, I'm fucking... 1.00

01:32:42.000 I'm alone a lot of time. 1.00

01:32:43.000 When did you start dating big black guys? 0.90

01:32:45.000 It's time to fantasize. 0.96

01:32:48.000 From the beginning.

01:32:49.000 Oh, Suzanne.

01:32:51.000 Please stop.

01:32:52.000 I'm sorry. 0.99

01:32:54.000 That's my giant horny redneck that sees you at the supermarket voice. 1.00

01:32:58.000 I won't fight to the death if I have to. 0.99

01:33:00.000 Well, I like how you roll.

01:33:01.000 You gotta do what you gotta do.

01:33:03.000 This is getting hardcore.

01:33:04.000 Living in Nashville is better?

01:33:06.000 Worse?

01:33:07.000 Different?

01:33:08.000 I'm gonna say better.

01:33:10.000 Better in the sense that from a, you know, I'm here to play music vibe.

01:33:16.000 You get so much more for your dollar.

01:33:18.000 It's a very affordable town.

01:33:19.000 There's incredible musicians on every corner that are welcoming and inspiring and helpful.

01:33:27.000 We have all these friends that help us with just getting integrated.

01:33:33.000 I really like it.

01:33:35.000 It's funny, I was telling Red Van earlier, he's like, how you doing?

01:33:38.000 And I was like, you know, I'm great and I love LA. I really do.

01:33:41.000 But the minute I got on the 10 and I was stuck in traffic, I was in a foul mood.

01:33:45.000 Really?

01:33:46.000 Yeah, I wanted to get here.

01:33:47.000 I wanted to go pick up Ben across town.

01:33:50.000 It was funny.

01:33:51.000 It took so long to get here.

01:33:53.000 I left at 12.30.

01:33:55.000 Wow.

01:33:56.000 And I don't know.

01:33:57.000 There's just something about Nashville that I really...

01:33:59.000 Our productivity, like I have more energy.

01:34:02.000 I go to the YMCA like four times a week.

01:34:05.000 I mean, things are...

01:34:08.000 So you have more time?

01:34:09.000 More time.

01:34:10.000 Much more time.

01:34:11.000 Why is that?

01:34:11.000 The pace is so much slower there.

01:34:13.000 Just in general.

01:34:14.000 It's a smaller town.

01:34:15.000 There's not as many people.

01:34:16.000 We know fewer people.

01:34:18.000 You can get around easier?

01:34:20.000 Yes.

01:34:20.000 Ben lives like a mile and a half from me, which is nice.

01:34:22.000 See, again, you guys are moving to a new place.

01:34:24.000 Why don't you move right next door to each other? 0.99

01:34:25.000 You're crazy. 0.97

01:34:26.000 Why not create a little community? 0.99

01:34:29.000 Well, you know what?

01:34:29.000 We kind of are right next door to each other.

01:34:31.000 I mean, I couldn't tell you the last time I went a day without seeing you.

01:34:36.000 Like a whole day.

01:34:36.000 How does that feel?

01:34:38.000 It feels great.

01:34:39.000 I think you're really great.

01:34:40.000 I think you're really funny and you're so smart and talented and good-looking.

01:34:46.000 You're beautiful.

01:34:47.000 What a great body.

01:34:49.000 I like how you guys roll.

01:34:50.000 This is beautiful.

01:34:52.000 Just got ugly.

01:34:53.000 Do you have to resist that?

01:34:56.000 I don't think we should talk about this.

01:34:57.000 You guys have been together for a long time.

01:34:58.000 Do you have to resist romantic urges?

01:35:02.000 No conversation.

01:35:03.000 Going gay these days. 0.98

01:35:05.000 No need to have this conversation.

01:35:07.000 Ben's revisiting his life in the 90s.

01:35:09.000 It's odd though to have a man-woman sort of equal partnership like this in a band that works.

01:35:15.000 Nobody winds up getting pregnant. 0.72

01:35:17.000 Oh my god.

01:35:18.000 God, I'm so not ready for that.

01:35:21.000 You know, I mean, you guys are like bandmates, really good friends.

01:35:26.000 That's a weird position for a man and a woman to be like really good friends, isn't it, in this day and age?

01:35:31.000 Well, yeah, because it's, you know, it's difficult in a lot of different ways because, you know, for the significant others that we date, that's like a, that's a big one, you know,

01:35:47.000 to...

01:35:48.000 Because we're so close.

01:35:50.000 Creativity together is a very intimate thing.

01:35:55.000 It's a rough road.

01:35:57.000 Being a musician in general, because you either date someone in your band or you date someone not in your band that you never see.

01:36:03.000 Or you're with someone that you see every day.

01:36:05.000 There's this fine line. 1.00

01:36:08.000 Do you ever date a guy and he's like, a fucking Ben guy. 1.00

01:36:11.000 Never. 1.00

01:36:12.000 No, that would be ridiculous.

01:36:14.000 I don't like how he looks at you when you say it.

01:36:15.000 Why would I want to date someone who didn't like my best friend?

01:36:18.000 I don't like how he looks at you.

01:36:21.000 Unless he was a Chippendale, I might make some reparations. 1.00

01:36:26.000 Yeah?

01:36:26.000 No, I wouldn't.

01:36:27.000 Just those guys from that night.

01:36:29.000 It would be a short-lived relationship, let me tell you.

01:36:32.000 Well, listen, that's what you're looking for.

01:36:33.000 What are you trying to do?

01:36:34.000 Are you trying to fix the world?

01:36:35.000 Are you trying to have a good time?

01:36:36.000 Okay, what are you going to do?

01:36:38.000 Establish utopia?

01:36:39.000 Start a new community? 1.00

01:36:40.000 No, you're going to get your freak out with a bunch of fucking shave dudes. 0.99

01:36:43.000 What's the problem? 0.99

01:36:44.000 A little baby oil and a big party.

01:36:47.000 The smell of suntan lotion in the air.

01:36:49.000 Oh no.

01:36:50.000 Right?

01:36:51.000 God, it's so funny.

01:36:52.000 Leg shavers, all of them too. 1.00

01:36:54.000 Tan fellows. 0.99

01:36:55.000 How does that affect you? 0.88

01:36:55.000 I'm white as goat cheese. 0.88

01:36:57.000 It's just like, it's amazing.

01:36:59.000 I couldn't get a tan to save my life.

01:37:00.000 No?

01:37:01.000 I've tried.

01:37:02.000 Didn't work out well.

01:37:04.000 Nothing.

01:37:04.000 Do you burn?

01:37:05.000 I burn, yeah.

01:37:06.000 But you have dark hair.

01:37:08.000 I do.

01:37:09.000 Yeah, what is your nationality?

01:37:10.000 I'm Italian on my papa's side and my mom is Native American Indian and European.

01:37:16.000 So I'm going to live forever and be an alcoholic.

01:37:19.000 Kidding!

01:37:20.000 Is that the case?

01:37:22.000 Do you find that it runs in your community?

01:37:28.000 Absolutely.

01:37:28.000 First of all, whose family, I want to know, doesn't have...

01:37:32.000 Alcoholism?

01:37:33.000 Yeah, come on. 0.77

01:37:35.000 Boring people? 0.97

01:37:36.000 Mormons? 0.97

01:37:37.000 I mean, it's true.

01:37:40.000 Every culture has their physical relationship to it.

01:37:44.000 Genetically speaking, and I believe that the...

01:37:48.000 I'm a lightweight.

01:37:48.000 As much as I love to drink, I'm kind of good after two drinks.

01:37:52.000 I'm pretty warm.

01:37:54.000 My voice, my volume gets louder.

01:37:57.000 You're the best kind of bro.

01:37:58.000 I start taking my clothes off.

01:37:59.000 I'm kidding.

01:38:00.000 You're good for a party.

01:38:01.000 That was a lie.

01:38:02.000 You're ready to go. 0.99

01:38:03.000 In the most fucking classy kind of way, bros. 0.98

01:38:07.000 That's all anybody's looking for. 0.99

01:38:08.000 The most classy kind of way.

01:38:10.000 Period.

01:38:11.000 But anyway, I hope that I said that well and it was not offensive.

01:38:15.000 Do you find it easy to make friends in Nashville?

01:38:18.000 You guys like meeting cool people and enjoy it?

01:38:21.000 Warm and open.

01:38:22.000 It's an unusual town, isn't it?

01:38:24.000 Yeah, and I never realized how huge LA was until you go to Nashville.

01:38:29.000 And it really is a small town.

01:38:33.000 We're there two weeks and you go out and you're seeing people that you know.

01:38:36.000 And you can get across town in 15 minutes and everybody just kind of wants to hang.

01:38:39.000 It's like a big sitting on the porch beer drinking community.

01:38:43.000 Yeah, it's like, I think that when towns get too big, and there's a lot of great things about LA, there's a lot of, I mean, there's so many great restaurants, there's so many places to go.

01:38:53.000 All my friends live here.

01:38:54.000 I love LA. But I really like smaller towns.

01:38:58.000 I really love living in Boulder.

01:39:00.000 I really love Portland.

01:39:02.000 I really love Nashville.

01:39:04.000 Nashville's badass.

01:39:05.000 And there's like a better vibe.

01:39:07.000 There's like, oh, the frequency in the air is less intense.

01:39:10.000 It's not death metal. 0.99

01:39:11.000 It's like fucking piano music You know what I mean? 0.99

01:39:14.000 It's like you can relax a little. 0.99

01:39:16.000 The frequency of the actual city itself.

01:39:18.000 You go to New York.

01:39:20.000 New York is red line.

01:39:22.000 Everywhere you go, it's...

01:39:23.000 There's too many people.

01:39:27.000 There's no way to avoid that. 1.00

01:39:28.000 It's a crazy fucking town. 1.00

01:39:30.000 It could take you an hour to drive across that stupid island. 1.00

01:39:35.000 A whole hour. 1.00

01:39:36.000 Easily.

01:39:37.000 Easily.

01:39:38.000 Which should take you a minute.

01:39:39.000 It should take you one minute.

01:39:42.000 I tell you.

01:39:43.000 So that kind of stress is going to definitely affect people socially.

01:39:46.000 And you don't get that in a place like Nashville.

01:39:48.000 And that in itself is better.

01:39:50.000 That's what it feels like.

01:39:50.000 The pace of everything is slower.

01:39:52.000 So you can get more...

01:39:55.000 I don't know.

01:39:56.000 If you take advantage of it, you can get more accomplished.

01:39:58.000 Because there's not this constant scurrying that you feel like you have to do.

01:40:02.000 Or at least I felt like I had to do in LA. Yeah.

01:40:04.000 It was like...

01:40:05.000 Get to here, get to here, get to here, get to here, and then nothing would actually come of any of these things.

01:40:09.000 No, I feel that.

01:40:10.000 I feel that constant scurrying.

01:40:12.000 I've had friends like Eddie Bravo.

01:40:14.000 He used to live in West Hollywood, and he liked living in West Hollywood because he felt like when he lived there, the pace was like a faster pace because everybody was doing things.

01:40:24.000 It made him feel like he had to get up and get things done. 0.99

01:40:27.000 That is the last shit I need. 0.99

01:40:29.000 You know, I do not want that. 0.99

01:40:31.000 Well, it's kind of like you have to get up and get things done and then you can't get there on time because you have to wait.

01:40:36.000 That's a difficult thing to digest.

01:40:39.000 Do you guys do any ween covers?

01:40:41.000 No, but we talked about Piss Up a Rope last time we were here.

01:40:44.000 We played it.

01:40:45.000 Where'd the cheese go?

01:40:45.000 Oh, is that it?

01:40:46.000 Where'd the cheese go?

01:40:47.000 Oh, that's great.

01:40:50.000 I love cheese.

01:40:51.000 You love cheese?

01:40:52.000 You know what's the sad thing about cheese?

01:40:54.000 Oh no, Joe, don't.

01:40:55.000 I'll tell you what's the sad thing. 0.99

01:40:56.000 In this fucking country, people are not allowed to use unpasteurized milk to make cheese. 0.99

01:41:03.000 You have to pasteurize the milk and homogenize it and boil it down and kill all the stuff that makes the cheese taste good. 0.99

01:41:10.000 You ever have cheese in Europe?

01:41:11.000 No.

01:41:13.000 You've got to have cheese in France.

01:41:14.000 You have some non-homogenized cheese in France from an old, like, cheesemaker. 0.99

01:41:20.000 Some motherfucker really knows what they're doing. 0.99

01:41:21.000 You can get it in America. 1.00

01:41:23.000 I mean, don't get me wrong.

01:41:24.000 There's places in...

01:41:24.000 We used to get some...

01:41:26.000 Ruining my cheese dreams.

01:41:27.000 ...really delicious cheese.

01:41:29.000 There's a place in Beverly Hills.

01:41:30.000 It's like a straight cheese place, and I know they probably...

01:41:32.000 It's probably like a Cuban cigars sort of a thing.

01:41:35.000 Like, you can get Cuban cigars, but you gotta know people.

01:41:37.000 They gotta know you first.

01:41:38.000 Then they slip you the non-homogenized, non-pasteurized cheese.

01:41:41.000 The secret cheese?

01:41:42.000 You have secret cheese access in Los Angeles?

01:41:44.000 Do you ever have raw milk?

01:41:45.000 Do you ever drink raw milk?

01:41:46.000 I have, yeah.

01:41:47.000 It's delicious.

01:41:48.000 It's okay.

01:41:49.000 And it's so good.

01:41:49.000 It's just okay?

01:41:51.000 Raw milk with cookies, you cannot go wrong.

01:41:54.000 Warm, a little curd. 1.00

01:41:55.000 With some badass fucking... 1.00

01:41:57.000 Straight from the teat. 1.00

01:41:58.000 Yeah.

01:41:59.000 Sitting on the lap of an elderly man.

01:42:00.000 A couple pubic hairs. 0.96

01:42:01.000 If you get some badass cookies, okay, some really good, like Nestle's Tall House type bitches, like, what is that place at the airport? 1.00

01:42:09.000 Did you just say Nestle's Tall House cookies? 0.99

01:42:11.000 Type bitches? 1.00

01:42:12.000 Type bitches? 1.00

01:42:14.000 What is the fucking... 1.00

01:42:15.000 No, not Cinnabon. 1.00

01:42:17.000 Those cookies. 1.00

01:42:19.000 There's a fucking famous cookie chain. 1.00

01:42:21.000 They're amazing cookies. 1.00

01:42:23.000 God damn, I can't remember. 0.99

01:42:24.000 Okay, hold on. 0.99

01:42:25.000 Famous Amos.

01:42:26.000 No.

01:42:27.000 Famous Amos are pretty good, but there's cookies that you get.

01:42:29.000 They're always at the mall.

01:42:30.000 Are they gourmet cookies?

01:42:31.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:42:32.000 Oh, Mrs. Fields.

01:42:33.000 Yes!

01:42:33.000 There you go, Mrs. Fields.

01:42:35.000 Ask me another one.

01:42:36.000 Take a few of those.

01:42:37.000 I know a lot about malls.

01:42:37.000 Just get some peanut butter, chocolate chips.

01:42:40.000 And you know what?

01:42:40.000 I'm going to find a Mrs. Fields in this area, in Pasadena.

01:42:43.000 We're going to go there after this fucking show. 1.00

01:42:45.000 Wow. 1.00

01:42:45.000 I need some cookies. 1.00

01:42:46.000 You can't go.

01:42:47.000 You've got to go to Hollywood.

01:42:47.000 Look what's happening.

01:42:48.000 Oh, my...

01:42:49.000 My comedy special comes out tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen.

01:42:52.000 Tomorrow it comes out on JoeRogan.net.

01:42:55.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net, it's available.

01:42:58.000 We're having a problem with the Amazon thing.

01:43:00.000 It was supposed to be ready today, but it's not.

01:43:02.000 So hopefully it'll be ready by tomorrow, but if not, the PayPal thing will definitely still be ready.

01:43:06.000 I'd like it to be ready.

01:43:07.000 With Amazon, so you can do that one-click, which is awesome, by the way.

01:43:10.000 I'm a huge Amazon one-click proponent.

01:43:14.000 So it'll be on JoeRogan.net.

01:43:17.000 It'll be there.

01:43:17.000 That's what it's going to look like.

01:43:19.000 You've got to enter in all your nonsense.

01:43:21.000 The special is something that I paid for it entirely myself, Louis C.K. style. 0.58

01:43:27.000 I did essentially exactly what he did.

01:43:30.000 I'm releasing it for five bucks.

01:43:32.000 I think what he did by setting that price is really smart.

01:43:36.000 I think it's really cool.

01:43:38.000 And Louie's one of the best comics in the country.

01:43:40.000 Why would you ask for more?

01:43:42.000 Don't be playing that.

01:43:43.000 This is an outtake. 1.00

01:43:43.000 Stop that shit. 1.00

01:43:44.000 I know what it is, bitch. 1.00

01:43:45.000 It's my show. 0.98

01:43:47.000 But it's available tomorrow, and then there's like a whole thing explaining that I paid for it, and please don't steal it.

01:43:53.000 You know, of course certain people are going to steal it, you're going to, but I think it's a reasonable price.

01:44:00.000 I think this sort of model, like what we were talking about with Radiohead, what they did, allowing people to pick their own, I think... 0.99

01:44:08.000 Stop playing my shit, dude. 1.00

01:44:09.000 I wasn't playing the shit. 1.00

01:44:10.000 How dare you. 0.99

01:44:10.000 It's kind of cool to look at, the quality of it. 0.99

01:44:12.000 Look at the quality.

01:44:13.000 It's crazy.

01:44:14.000 Dare you.

01:44:14.000 No, it's great.

01:44:15.000 Positive Image Video did it.

01:44:16.000 They're the same people that produced the UFC shows.

01:44:19.000 My friend Anthony Giordano, he's the director of it.

01:44:22.000 And he's the one who did my last one, Talking Monkeys in Space 2. I'm really excited to do it this way for a couple reasons.

01:44:28.000 One, I think it's the best way to distribute things, to distribute them online, and to do it directly to your fans instead of having to go through Comedy Central or any of these other...

01:44:37.000 For a comic, to have an outlet to release your stuff, there's only a few options.

01:44:42.000 You could do an HBO thing or a Showtime thing. 0.99

01:44:46.000 Unfortunately, you have to actually sit down with people when you do that, and they have to decide what they like about your material, what they don't like, and That shit is whack. 0.65

01:44:56.000 The worst thing about being a comedian is when you go to release your stuff and there's other people that have a say or want to have a say in the actual content. 0.97

01:45:06.000 It's crazy. 0.99

01:45:09.000 They're the dumbest conversations. 1.00

01:45:11.000 I've had people get upset at the dumbest shit. 1.00

01:45:14.000 It's mind-boggling. 1.00

01:45:17.000 It's unnecessary.

01:45:19.000 I think one of the things that is really important about art...

01:45:23.000 Whether it's a stand-up comic or someone who writes something or whatever it is, I love an individual's unique point of view.

01:45:32.000 I love seeing the way a person puts it together.

01:45:35.000 You know, whether it's perfect or not, if it comes from you, I like that.

01:45:40.000 I like knowing that you wrote all your jokes.

01:45:43.000 I like knowing that you thought all these thoughts, that you printed all those words.

01:45:47.000 I want to be connected with your thoughts, your creativity, your consciousness. 0.99

01:45:52.000 And the only way to do that is for a person to release their own shit. 0.99

01:45:55.000 Period. 1.00

01:45:56.000 Whether it's a band to release their own shit or a comedian to release their own shit. 1.00

01:46:00.000 As soon as you have some executive type characters interfering with your creative process, you're fucked. 1.00

01:46:06.000 You just are. 0.99

01:46:07.000 That's not what they're supposed to be doing.

01:46:08.000 But when they can, they will. 1.00

01:46:10.000 They get their dirty little greasy fingers all over your shit. 1.00

01:46:14.000 And they fuck it up, inevitably. 1.00

01:46:16.000 And I guess that's not necessary anymore.

01:46:19.000 Because of this podcast, we've essentially cut out doing most radio shows.

01:46:25.000 I mean, I occasionally do radio, but it's not like every week like I used to have to do it.

01:46:30.000 I don't have to do as many different interviews.

01:46:32.000 You can talk directly to the people that enjoy what you do.

01:46:36.000 And these are crazy times, you know?

01:46:40.000 This podcast alone has changed my life, changed Brian's life, changed Ari's life, Duncan's life, Joey's life, changed all of our lives.

01:46:48.000 We're in a weird place right now.

01:46:51.000 And I think the only smart thing to do is just keep going in the same direction.

01:46:55.000 That's why I got this new studio set up and that's why...

01:46:58.000 We're releasing things online like this and that's why we're all touring and we're all continuing to write material.

01:47:04.000 And your special, by the way, is out right now.

01:47:06.000 You could actually buy it this second, right?

01:47:07.000 This right second, yeah.

01:47:08.000 I'm not supposed to say that because they're trying to get everything in order. 0.97

01:47:11.000 Especially get the Amazon shit corrected. 0.89

01:47:13.000 But if you want to get crazy, go ahead, buy it, download it. 0.95

01:47:17.000 It's supposed to be up.

01:47:19.000 Don't say sorry, you didn't know.

01:47:21.000 How did you know?

01:47:22.000 Yeah, but tomorrow it's official. 0.99

01:47:24.000 So wait for tomorrow if you like fucking opening up your presents in the morning. 0.99

01:47:29.000 If you're one of those dudes who still believes in Santa, wait until tomorrow. 0.99

01:47:33.000 If not, yeah, you can go fucking get it right now. 0.98

01:47:36.000 Five bucks. 0.98

01:47:36.000 Please don't steal it. 0.98

01:47:37.000 I paid for this shit. 0.99

01:47:38.000 It costs more than $100,000 to film. 1.00

01:47:41.000 It's very expensive.

01:47:42.000 Well, you did professional style. 0.99

01:47:44.000 Yeah, no, I didn't fuck around. 0.98

01:47:46.000 And we did it at the Tabernacle in Atlanta, which is a beautiful, historic theater. 0.98

01:47:51.000 It's an amazing, amazing theater.

01:47:53.000 And it was important.

01:47:54.000 I hadn't been to Atlanta in a couple years, so it was important to do it somewhere where I hadn't been for a while. 0.96

01:48:01.000 I hate getting emails from people like, when the fuck are you coming back to Vancouver? 0.92

01:48:06.000 Trust me, I want to come back to Vancouver. 0.97

01:48:08.000 I just haven't had a chance.

01:48:10.000 So that was an Atlanta sort of situation, so it was really cool to be able to do it in Atlanta.

01:48:14.000 And Atlanta does not get enough credit. 0.99

01:48:16.000 That is a badass fucking town. 0.99

01:48:18.000 I love Atlanta. 0.99

01:48:20.000 And it's one of the most diverse, racially diverse towns.

01:48:25.000 Atlanta's one of those places where you see a lot of black dudes wearing suits.

01:48:30.000 Gator shoes. 0.92

01:48:31.000 Yeah, expensive clothes.

01:48:34.000 It's a weird thing.

01:48:36.000 There's a lot of black professionals in Atlanta.

01:48:39.000 It's like...

01:48:39.000 The level of interaction between white people and black people, it's way higher in Atlanta.

01:48:45.000 And that's a fucking real problem with LA. LA is, first of all, kind of segregated, and second of all, it's such a car culture that people don't really... 0.98

01:48:56.000 It's not like on the subways in New York, people will mingle.

01:48:58.000 Black people mix with white people.

01:49:00.000 Everybody gets together.

01:49:02.000 All sorts of different economic groups are all together.

01:49:05.000 In LA, that's not the case.

01:49:06.000 In LA, there's a lot of haves and have-nots.

01:49:09.000 There's a lot of separation.

01:49:11.000 Everyone's driving.

01:49:12.000 No one's on a train with a bunch of young kids.

01:49:16.000 It's a different sort of a vibe.

01:49:17.000 I think we miss out.

01:49:19.000 Because of that.

01:49:20.000 The idea that you get a little less crime that way, and it's a little safer that way, but you miss out on a little bit of the whole experience of being a human.

01:49:31.000 In Atlanta, there's a lot of mixing going on.

01:49:35.000 It was cool.

01:49:36.000 I liked it.

01:49:37.000 I saw a lot of black guys with white chicks.

01:49:39.000 I saw a lot of that. 0.97

01:49:41.000 I saw a bunch of white dudes with black chicks, too. 0.97

01:49:44.000 It was an interesting place.

01:49:46.000 I dig Atlanta, but it was a really cool place to do my special.

01:49:49.000 Tabernacle's great.

01:49:51.000 Yeah, it's pretty dope.

01:49:52.000 And that's the name of the special.

01:49:53.000 It's Live from the Tabernacle.

01:49:54.000 Because I'm not that creative, and I couldn't come up with a better name.

01:49:57.000 That's all I had in my wheelhouse.

01:50:00.000 I searched, I found nothing, and I decided to just release it.

01:50:04.000 So from Talking Monkeys in Space to Live from a Place.

01:50:08.000 The last one.

01:50:09.000 I ran out of my good names.

01:50:11.000 Once you release the special, do you stop doing that material live?

01:50:14.000 Yeah, I mean, maybe on a rare occasion if someone yells something out, I would do it just for fun, you know, but it's over. 0.98

01:50:21.000 Yeah, I've got to let that shit go. 0.99

01:50:22.000 Move on to the next material. 0.99

01:50:24.000 That's why, first of all, that's why people are like, why did it take so long to release this?

01:50:27.000 Because we filmed it on 420 in April.

01:50:30.000 So part of it took that time because I had a new website that just went live last week, and it takes a long time to get like a professional website design company to build like exactly what you want and, you know, to...

01:50:42.000 The website traffic has been so crazy that it's gotten to a point where I needed something that was a little bit more robust and a little bit more functional.

01:50:51.000 Incorporating the podcast into it, we're working on a totally new podcast website now and that's the next step.

01:50:57.000 But this whole podcast thing, it's gotten so out of control, it's almost like, I don't know if you feel about it the same way I do, but I always feel like we're on a fucking little boat on top of some crazy wave, and we're like, whoa!

01:51:12.000 What do we need to do? 0.97

01:51:13.000 We need four fucking rafts! 0.99

01:51:14.000 Okay, let's get rafts! 0.99

01:51:16.000 When we buy shit for the studio, it's always like, what do we need? 1.00

01:51:20.000 Oh, we need more of this shit, we need more of that shit. 1.00

01:51:23.000 It just seems to be kind of growing on its own and we're just kind of keeping up with it. 1.00

01:51:27.000 This is a part of it.

01:51:29.000 So these shows that we do, whenever I ask people how many of you guys listen to the podcast, about a year in it was about 50%.

01:51:39.000 And now it's like 100%.

01:51:41.000 Now it's crazy. 0.99

01:51:43.000 We're having the fucking time of our lives. 0.97

01:51:45.000 I just want to tell you guys, as much as you people are enjoying it, we get these emails, we get these tweets and text messages. 0.95

01:51:52.000 I get these emails every day that tell people, or people telling us rather, that the podcast has changed their life and changed the way they think about things and the conversations we've had with...

01:52:04.000 People like Dennis McKenna yesterday.

01:52:06.000 I talked to a guy today who told me he listened to it five times already.

01:52:10.000 Came out yesterday. 1.00

01:52:12.000 It was such a crazy fucking conversation. 0.99

01:52:15.000 We are, just as you are, we're growing with these conversations as well. 0.99

01:52:20.000 There's no other way Brian and I would have had the opportunity to sit down with all these people.

01:52:24.000 And have these conversations with them.

01:52:26.000 They wouldn't just be willing to come meet us somewhere and sit down for three hours a day.

01:52:29.000 It would be crazy.

01:52:31.000 If I was just a dude who lived in a castle somewhere.

01:52:33.000 But I need to converse with this man.

01:52:35.000 Bring him to me.

01:52:37.000 The only way you can really have a...

01:52:39.000 It has to be worthwhile for them too so they can get their message out.

01:52:42.000 So this whole thing has been a real symbiotic exchange.

01:52:46.000 So when you guys...

01:52:48.000 I can't say it enough.

01:52:49.000 People keep telling me...

01:52:50.000 This podcast changed my life.

01:52:53.000 I've heard it before and I appreciate the fuck out of it every time.

01:52:56.000 And there's no other way to say it.

01:52:59.000 We're blown away by this whole thing.

01:53:01.000 We appreciate it.

01:53:02.000 Is this love music in the background?

01:53:04.000 I've had the time of my life.

01:53:08.000 Is that Dirty Dancing? 1.00

01:53:09.000 Yes.

01:53:10.000 Oh, it's beautiful.

01:53:11.000 Remember there was two albums?

01:53:11.000 Don't put baby in a corner, okay?

01:53:13.000 Alright, so JoeRogan.net, go get it.

01:53:16.000 It's available on PayPal and I think Amazon.

01:53:20.000 Hopefully Amazon's ready by today.

01:53:22.000 If it's not, it should be around tomorrow.

01:53:25.000 But that's it. 1.00

01:53:27.000 Go fuck yourself. 1.00

01:53:28.000 Or not. 1.00

01:53:29.000 I don't care.

01:53:30.000 Honey, honey. 0.50

01:53:31.000 Honey, honey, would you like to play another song?

01:53:32.000 Honey, honey would be joining us this Friday at the End of the World show.

01:53:35.000 The first time we've ever done a show with a band, ever.

01:53:38.000 Really?

01:53:38.000 No pressure.

01:53:39.000 Nothing. 1.00

01:53:40.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:53:41.000 No, please, it'd be awesome. 0.99

01:53:43.000 You guys, I believe, are the first people that played live in here, right?

01:53:46.000 Weren't they?

01:53:47.000 Yeah.

01:53:47.000 Everlast was second.

01:53:48.000 You guys were first.

01:53:49.000 We came before Everlast.

01:53:51.000 Poppin' cherries left and right.

01:53:53.000 We love poppin' cherries.

01:53:55.000 What?

01:53:57.000 What? 0.94

01:53:58.000 I think you just contributed to rape culture again. 1.00

01:54:01.000 No, no, no.

01:54:02.000 That could be consensual.

01:54:03.000 Buck cherry and she's my cherry pie. 1.00

01:54:09.000 Hey, thanks for having us on here again.

01:54:11.000 Please, we love you guys and the people that contact us online love you guys.

01:54:17.000 We've talked to so many people that say thank you for turning us on to Honey Honey.

01:54:21.000 We've met a lot of them and they're awesome.

01:54:23.000 Isn't that cool?

01:54:24.000 It's so great.

01:54:25.000 It's so good. 0.92

01:54:26.000 I don't know what happened, man, but we have the coolest fucking people in the world that are connected to us. 0.90

01:54:30.000 I really don't get it. 0.96

01:54:31.000 I don't know how it took place. 0.57

01:54:33.000 It's an amazing lack of douchebags. 0.99

01:54:35.000 It's staggering.

01:54:36.000 The actual douche numbers to cool people numbers, it's crazy.

01:54:40.000 It doesn't exist anywhere else on the earth.

01:54:42.000 We're creating utopia.

01:54:44.000 It's pretty cool.

01:54:45.000 We appreciate it.

01:54:46.000 Listen, we appreciate you guys.

01:54:48.000 You guys are awesome.

01:54:50.000 You're incredibly talented.

01:54:51.000 And like I said before, we do whatever the fuck we can to promote you guys.

01:54:54.000 Thank you. 0.97

01:54:55.000 Well, speaking of, I want to say that we have a show in Cleveland, my hometown, on 1226. That's the day after Christmas at the House of Blues in downtown.

01:55:03.000 And I feel like it's like only half full right now.

01:55:07.000 Powerful Cleveland. 1.00

01:55:08.000 Get out there, bitches. 1.00

01:55:09.000 So if anybody's in the area, we're headlining, so we're going to play for a nice chunk of time. 0.99

01:55:13.000 Beautiful.

01:55:14.000 When you guys do a headline, you say, how long do you play for?

01:55:16.000 I think we're going to do 70 minutes.

01:55:18.000 Yeah, 70, 75. That's a good number.

01:55:20.000 I like to do that on stand-up, too.

01:55:22.000 When I do more than that, I feel like I'm testing people's attention.

01:55:26.000 They're like, enough, dude.

01:55:27.000 How much more do you want attention? 0.96

01:55:29.000 Well, we talk a lot, too.

01:55:30.000 There's a lot of...

01:55:32.000 Do you guys have Paul Stanley-type banter?

01:55:36.000 I don't know who Paul Stanley is.

01:55:37.000 Paul Stanley from Kiss.

01:55:39.000 Oh! 0.60

01:55:39.000 I was like, is that a comedian? 0.60

01:55:41.000 I thought it was that guy that was like...

01:55:42.000 I don't know.

01:55:43.000 How many of you out there like to taste the alcohol?

01:55:47.000 Oh no, but we should.

01:55:48.000 You never seen that?

01:55:49.000 Brian, pull some of that up.

01:55:51.000 Paul Stanley introducing for Kiss before we play this song.

01:55:54.000 I thought you were talking about Paul Shafer.

01:55:56.000 No, Paul Stanley from Kiss.

01:55:58.000 Paul Stanley talks to the audience.

01:56:01.000 Yeah.

01:56:02.000 We're honey, honey, and we think you're great.

01:56:05.000 No, you have to do it. 0.99

01:56:06.000 You have to be totally fucking cheesy. 0.99

01:56:08.000 Yeah, Paul Stanley talks to the audience. 0.98

01:56:10.000 This is a short video of Paul Stanley talking and playing with the audience at a Kiss Alive 35 concert.

01:56:17.000 That's...

01:56:20.000 We should do this, man.

01:56:22.000 But that's Peter Criss.

01:56:24.000 What Paul Stanley does, they've made CDs out of it.

01:56:27.000 The dude, whoever you are, that's made those CDs.

01:56:29.000 I forget your name.

01:56:30.000 Thank you very much.

01:56:30.000 This guy sent me a stack of them.

01:56:32.000 They're hilarious.

01:56:33.000 It's all Paul Stanley from In Between Songs.

01:56:37.000 How many of you out there like to party? 1.00

01:56:40.000 Like that kind of shit? 1.00

01:56:42.000 It's like super duper cheesy shit. 1.00

01:56:44.000 He's getting mad with a laser. 1.00

01:56:47.000 Oh, some guy's got a laser.

01:56:48.000 Bring that guy up here with a laser. 1.00

01:56:50.000 Come here, schmuck. 1.00

01:56:51.000 Schmuck? 1.00

01:56:52.000 Come here, schmuck. 1.00

01:56:54.000 People know you're an old Jew when you're calling a guy schmuck and you don't have a shirt on. 1.00

01:57:02.000 Try to find that one when Paul Stanley talks to the audience. 1.00

01:57:05.000 Yeah, that's just so they could get rid of some douchebag. 1.00

01:57:09.000 Is that it? 0.99

01:57:11.000 That's amazing.

01:57:12.000 Yeah, how about that one?

01:57:13.000 What was that one?

01:57:13.000 Oh, that's another one.

01:57:15.000 Anyway, my point is, I have no point.

01:57:20.000 That's my point.

01:57:21.000 My point is, he's a hell of a showman, that Paul Stanley.

01:57:24.000 Got it.

01:57:25.000 Smart guys, those kisses.

01:57:27.000 They made a lot of money, those kisses! 0.94

01:57:30.000 Are you guys fans?

01:57:33.000 What kind of music did you listen to growing up?

01:57:37.000 I have a really, really old dad, so I was listening to classical music from the 20s and 30s.

01:57:43.000 Ben, how old's your dad?

01:57:43.000 He's super old.

01:57:44.000 He's 91 now.

01:57:46.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:57:46.000 Wait a minute, how old are you? 0.71

01:57:48.000 I'm 27. Holy shit! 1.00

01:57:50.000 And this was before Cialis. 1.00

01:57:52.000 Holy shit! 1.00

01:57:53.000 Five-hour boners. 1.00

01:57:54.000 I'm praying for that.

01:57:56.000 How old was your mom?

01:57:57.000 She's 28 years younger than him.

01:57:59.000 God bless your dad.

01:58:01.000 Ben's dad served in World War II in the Pacific and stormed the airfields of Peleliu. 0.99

01:58:07.000 Holy shit! 0.99

01:58:08.000 He's hardcore. 1.00

01:58:10.000 Yeah, he's hardcore.

01:58:10.000 He's amazing.

01:58:11.000 Holy shit! 1.00

01:58:12.000 Mark Jaffe. 1.00

01:58:13.000 Dude, your dad is a hero.

01:58:16.000 That's why you got a boner. 1.00

01:58:17.000 It's a 28 years younger chick. 0.93

01:58:19.000 It's a hero boner. 0.63

01:58:22.000 You don't look Asian at all either. 0.96

01:58:24.000 You don't look Asian at all. 1.00

01:58:26.000 How dare you?

01:58:27.000 He's Russian. 0.67

01:58:28.000 He's a mail-order bride child. 1.00

01:58:32.000 Easy.

01:58:33.000 Easy. 1.00

01:58:34.000 We're talking about mom and dad here, you fucks. 1.00

01:58:36.000 So you listen to classic shit? 1.00

01:58:38.000 Yeah, well, I listen to, like, he would start, you know, there's an opera called The Magic Flute? 1.00

01:58:43.000 Yeah, it's Mozart.

01:58:46.000 Mozart with this opera called The Magic Flute, and he played every single weekend.

01:58:49.000 So he'd just be blasting, he'd blast it like he was playing ACDC. Really?

01:58:54.000 Wow.

01:58:54.000 Every weekend, yeah.

01:58:56.000 So I remember that.

01:58:57.000 And then...

01:58:59.000 Did he get you into playing music?

01:59:01.000 No, not really.

01:59:03.000 Neither of them did.

01:59:03.000 They didn't really play that much.

01:59:05.000 But I don't know where it started, but I just decided I want to play violin first.

01:59:09.000 And I played violin when I was like six, and I dropped it, and then I started playing drums, and from there on I just...

01:59:14.000 Kind of freaked out about it and got upset.

01:59:16.000 So from age six, you started with the violin, huh?

01:59:19.000 Yeah.

01:59:19.000 Wow.

01:59:20.000 I can't play it at all anymore, though.

01:59:21.000 No?

01:59:22.000 It was a shame.

01:59:22.000 I feel like, actually, it would come back.

01:59:24.000 If I really put in the time...

01:59:25.000 You should give it a whirl.

01:59:26.000 Yeah.

01:59:27.000 I believe in you.

01:59:28.000 She sounded a bit sarcastic.

01:59:29.000 No, I'm not.

01:59:30.000 I'm serious.

01:59:31.000 I believe in you.

01:59:32.000 I think you can do it.

01:59:32.000 Come on.

01:59:33.000 Come on, champ.

01:59:33.000 Come on, Rocky.

01:59:38.000 There is no tomorrow.

01:59:40.000 What about you, Suzanne?

01:59:41.000 How'd you start?

01:59:43.000 Well, I listen to a lot of, like, juxtaposed with, my folks run an Italian restaurant, so I grew up with a lot of, like, jazz, like Rosemary Clooney and Frank Sinatra and Louis Prima and stuff like that.

01:59:57.000 And I like that a lot.

01:59:58.000 And then, like, regular, like, 90s rock pop.

02:00:04.000 Scorpions.

02:00:05.000 My mom listened to Rock Set.

02:00:07.000 There was a lot of Rock Set in the car.

02:00:08.000 What's Rock Set?

02:00:09.000 Oh, God.

02:00:11.000 What's their song?

02:00:12.000 Hold on.

02:00:13.000 It'll come to me. 0.99

02:00:15.000 Fucking A. Red Band. 1.00

02:00:17.000 Where are we at here?

02:00:18.000 Oh, God.

02:00:20.000 Rock set?

02:00:22.000 It'll come.

02:00:22.000 Hold on.

02:00:23.000 But there's rock set.

02:00:25.000 Yeah.

02:00:26.000 Well, how does it go?

02:00:28.000 Yeah.

02:00:29.000 You got the loop, you got the loop. 0.99

02:00:31.000 There's everything in fucking the sun. 0.98

02:00:34.000 That's a good song, actually. 0.99

02:00:34.000 There was that song, yes. 0.99

02:00:36.000 So there's that.

02:00:37.000 My mom was the more sort of contemporary culture.

02:00:40.000 My dad and I used to listen to a lot of Journey Together and harmonize.

02:00:44.000 You guys used to harmonize together?

02:00:46.000 We used to harmonize.

02:00:46.000 I remember actually...

02:00:47.000 Don't stop believing.

02:00:50.000 It was crazy.

02:00:51.000 And I'd be like, you take the high!

02:00:53.000 And he'd be like, no!

02:00:55.000 No way.

02:00:55.000 You and your dad would sing Journey together?

02:00:58.000 Yeah.

02:00:58.000 And my dad played some acoustic guitar.

02:01:00.000 Wow.

02:01:01.000 He really liked Jethro Tull a lot.

02:01:04.000 Really?

02:01:05.000 Yeah.

02:01:05.000 He had a band in the 70s.

02:01:07.000 Did he really?

02:01:08.000 A mustache and a perm.

02:01:10.000 Wow.

02:01:10.000 Whoa, your dad had a perm.

02:01:13.000 He was pretty hip, that guy.

02:01:14.000 Did he have bell bottoms?

02:01:15.000 I hope not, but yes.

02:01:16.000 Of course he did.

02:01:17.000 No, I'm sure he did.

02:01:18.000 There's all these pictures of my dad and my grandfather and my uncles, and they look like Italian mobsters. 1.00

02:01:25.000 Everybody has, like, everything's together.

02:01:28.000 There's tailored suits and big glasses.

02:01:32.000 That's just the 70s.

02:01:33.000 Elton John glasses?

02:01:35.000 Totally. 0.91

02:01:35.000 It was totally gay. 0.91

02:01:36.000 Yeah. 0.89

02:01:36.000 Yeah, what a weird time. 0.89

02:01:38.000 The 70s were so confused.

02:01:39.000 It's like they got disconnected from the mother nipple of drugs.

02:01:44.000 It's like in the 60s, they all had acid and marijuana and mushrooms.

02:01:48.000 And in the 70s, it's like, what are we going to do?

02:01:50.000 Stay sober, man.

02:01:52.000 A lot of pot and a lot of quaaludes.

02:01:55.000 Quaaludes, pills. 1.00

02:01:56.000 Pills confuse motherfuckers. 1.00

02:01:57.000 Start wearing pointy shoes and bell bottoms. 1.00

02:02:00.000 Big belt buckles.

02:02:01.000 What am I doing?

02:02:02.000 I don't know.

02:02:02.000 Isn't that funny how...

02:02:04.000 I feel like back then, dudes, for the most part, had such...

02:02:09.000 There was such a, like, wardrobe-wise speaking, there was so much more of an effort put into what guys would wear on a regular basis.

02:02:17.000 Yeah, because they didn't have Match.com.

02:02:19.000 They couldn't just, like, find people online.

02:02:21.000 You had to pretend to be something you weren't.

02:02:23.000 You had to go somewhere and wear the outfit and do whatever you could to get someone to touch you.

02:02:27.000 Jesus Christ.

02:02:28.000 What do I have to like?

02:02:30.000 Do I have to dance?

02:02:31.000 You know?

02:02:32.000 Men are essentially... 0.76

02:02:33.000 They're junkies, and they're born into this world, junkies.

02:02:38.000 And then they go out as young men with these full raging hormones, and it's this massive quest to figure out how to get someone to touch you.

02:02:47.000 And what do I have to do?

02:02:49.000 What do I have to pretend?

02:02:50.000 Do I have to talk a certain way?

02:02:52.000 Just brass tacks.

02:02:53.000 Cut my hair a certain way.

02:02:54.000 Let me just get that figured out first.

02:02:56.000 And every man is struggling with that.

02:02:59.000 From the time we're young... 0.98

02:03:00.000 When we're 16, 17, 18, the conversations we have is all about how we figure it out, how to fucking get them to like us. 0.97

02:03:07.000 It's so funny. 0.94

02:03:08.000 Yeah.

02:03:08.000 Well, that's what breeding is all about.

02:03:10.000 If it wasn't for that sense of urgency, there'd be three people on the planet.

02:03:14.000 The only reason why we do it is because we are junkies. 0.83

02:03:18.000 We're just so crazy.

02:03:19.000 Just get rid of the loads.

02:03:21.000 Just get them in there quick. 1.00

02:03:23.000 Somebody touch me!

02:03:25.000 And so, there you go with bell-bottoms. 0.99

02:03:28.000 Fucking confusing wardrobe things. 0.99

02:03:30.000 It takes like 10 years for people to go, what the fuck are we doing? 1.00

02:03:33.000 Yeah, what the fuck are we doing? 1.00

02:03:34.000 These things look stupid as fuck. 1.00

02:03:35.000 You're right, man. 1.00

02:03:36.000 Fuck bell-bottoms. 1.00

02:03:37.000 Pants are still here, okay? 1.00

02:03:39.000 Pants work. 1.00

02:03:40.000 Everybody's cool with jeans. 0.97

02:03:41.000 Jeans have been around since fucking, you know, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid have the same jeans that you wear. 0.75

02:03:46.000 They wear jeans? 0.98

02:03:47.000 They wear jeans.

02:03:48.000 Denim.

02:03:49.000 They wore canvas, which is interesting.

02:03:51.000 Most clothes and pants during the minor days, the cowboy days, were actually made with cannabis.

02:03:57.000 They were made out of hemp.

02:03:58.000 What?

02:03:58.000 Yeah, most clothes.

02:04:00.000 Oh, you love that.

02:04:00.000 Yeah.

02:04:00.000 Well, before slavery was illegal, That's what most shit was made with.

02:04:07.000 They made more clothes with hemp and more flags and sails. 0.99

02:04:13.000 All that stuff was made with hemp because it's much, much stronger than cotton. 0.96

02:04:17.000 And then when Eli Whitney came along and made the cotton gin, then it became really easy to make shit with cotton. 0.71

02:04:23.000 And then the decorticator was invented in the 1930s and the 1930s was right after prohibition for alcohol had ended and they were trying to figure out what to do with all these fucking drug enforcement agents that were you know assigned to go after alcohol and one of the things they did It was a concerted effort between this guy William Randolph Hearst that owned all the newspapers. 0.88

02:04:46.000 We also owned all these paper mills.

02:04:48.000 And the cover of Popular Science magazine had this article, Hemp, the New Billion Dollar Crop.

02:04:53.000 And so everybody was switching over to hemp because they had created this decorticator, which allows you to effectively process the hemp fiber, the stalk of the plant, which is incredibly useful for making paper and clothes.

02:05:05.000 It allowed you to process it without slavery.

02:05:08.000 Yeah.

02:05:08.000 Allows you to process it economically effectively.

02:05:11.000 And so William Randolph Hearst started printing all these articles about marijuana and about how marijuana was causing blacks and Mexicans to rape white women. 0.99

02:05:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:05:21.000 Oh, wow.

02:05:22.000 So that's how they shut down the hemp business.

02:05:24.000 It was all about hemp as a commodity.

02:05:27.000 Was he protecting cotton interests, his own cotton interests?

02:05:31.000 He was protecting paper because he owned paper mills.

02:05:35.000 Also, DuPont had an interest in it because DuPont came up with a chemical composition for nylon to make ropes.

02:05:41.000 Previously, all ropes had been made out of hemp.

02:05:43.000 How do you know this?

02:05:46.000 What's going on here?

02:05:48.000 It's readily available.

02:05:49.000 You can get it online.

02:05:50.000 Just read it.

02:05:51.000 It's amazing.

02:05:52.000 That is very impressive.

02:05:54.000 It's just memory.

02:05:55.000 That's all it is. 0.99

02:05:56.000 Look, you ask me shit about important things, like where your taxes go. 0.98

02:06:01.000 I don't really know that. 0.99

02:06:02.000 You know what?

02:06:03.000 We don't want to know.

02:06:04.000 You should know.

02:06:05.000 Our overlords are lying to us.

02:06:08.000 But that's the only reason why it's still legal today.

02:06:10.000 Why it's still legal today is now it's gone from a textile and an issue with nylon.

02:06:16.000 Now it's gone to pharmaceutical drugs.

02:06:18.000 And the influence of pharmaceutical drugs is the only reason why it's...

02:06:21.000 And then there's also people that would profit from it being illegal, like prison guard unions actively spend money to try to keep marijuana illegal.

02:06:30.000 Private prisons, they will actively try to spend money to keep marijuana illegal because they want to keep their prisons stocked because that's how they make money.

02:06:38.000 Isn't that amazing?

02:06:39.000 Yeah.

02:06:40.000 Prison guard unions spend money to make sure that drugs stay illegal.

02:06:45.000 That's cute.

02:06:46.000 Isn't that cute?

02:06:48.000 Because they make money.

02:06:49.000 I mean, it literally is like slavery.

02:06:51.000 I mean, if it wasn't illegal, those people wouldn't be in jail.

02:06:56.000 They'd be free.

02:06:57.000 So you make something that they do, and you spend money to keep it illegal, something they enjoy that doesn't hurt anybody else.

02:07:03.000 You spend money to keep it illegal so you can enslave them and make money from the fact that they're locked in a cage that you own.

02:07:11.000 Mass incarceration.

02:07:13.000 Whew! 0.99

02:07:13.000 That's amazing. 0.99

02:07:14.000 We're going to look back on this day in the future when they have full access to everything, including thoughts and all misinformation will be accounted for and corrected. 0.99

02:07:26.000 We will look back with great shame at how stupid we ran this world. 1.00

02:07:31.000 We will look back with great shame at the people that we called our leaders and what a group of fucking monkeys they are. 1.00

02:07:40.000 When you see them arguing about the fiscal cliff and all this other nonsense, you realize these are incredibly flawed human beings from a different time and an era. 1.00

02:07:50.000 And they're all trying to appease these fucking monsters that put them into position. 1.00

02:07:55.000 These corporations, they spend millions of dollars in a sociopathic way to try to profit from these fucks representing them. 1.00

02:08:04.000 We're going to look back on this, and we're going to be really, really shocked that we were this weak. 0.99

02:08:09.000 We're going to be really shocked that it was this pathetic with our incredible access to information, that we were still this wonky with our system of government and our system of money and welfare and protecting each other and our sense of community and our willingness to go into wars.

02:08:27.000 We're going to look back on it.

02:08:28.000 It's going to be shocking.

02:08:29.000 Just as shocking as the Inquisition.

02:08:31.000 Well, I don't think that they don't know what they're doing.

02:08:35.000 I think that it is a joke to see how the world is run, or our country, or whatever.

02:08:42.000 Sometimes, not all the time, but I don't think that it goes under their radar.

02:08:48.000 I think it's just politics and selfishness.

02:09:08.000 There's so many different...

02:09:17.000 We're good to go.

02:09:35.000 So it's like our options are wait for it to completely fall apart and come up with something totally new or slowly sort of chip away at this horrible problem that our ancestors have created and left us with.

02:09:46.000 Because that's the real issue.

02:09:48.000 It's like you and I and we didn't create this world.

02:09:51.000 We didn't decide to invade Afghanistan.

02:09:54.000 We say we are going to war with Iraq. 1.00

02:09:57.000 We have nothing to do with that.

02:09:59.000 The fact that some...

02:10:01.000 Human beings that somehow or another represent us because we're all in this one patch of dirt together is crazy. 0.99

02:10:07.000 And it's always been crazy.

02:10:09.000 It was crazy when the Romans did it. 0.92

02:10:11.000 It's crazy when the Greeks did it. 1.00

02:10:12.000 But it's even more crazy when we do it.

02:10:14.000 It's more crazy when we do it because we have the access to the information that allows us to see the wiring under the board.

02:10:21.000 And see what's really motivating this whole thing and see where this is all going from.

02:10:25.000 And it's embarrassing.

02:10:26.000 It's embarrassing. 1.00

02:10:27.000 It's embarrassing that we're so dumb. 1.00

02:10:29.000 That these are our leaders. 0.99

02:10:32.000 That guys like Newt Gingrich really think they could be president.

02:10:34.000 It's embarrassing.

02:10:35.000 It's embarrassing.

02:10:38.000 All of it.

02:10:38.000 That a guy like Mitt Romney can have this incredibly horrific record in business and still put himself up as a businessman for the people and almost get elected.

02:10:50.000 But it's just as crazy that a guy like Obama can win the Nobel Peace Prize and then send 30,000 more people with guns to Afghanistan. 1.00

02:10:57.000 We're fucking crazy. 1.00

02:10:59.000 We're crazy as shit. 1.00

02:11:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:11:02.000 Circumstances.

02:11:04.000 Circumstances.

02:11:07.000 It's such a...

02:11:08.000 It's just like an endless...

02:11:09.000 It's like that knot.

02:11:10.000 What's that thing?

02:11:11.000 The Gordian knot or whatever?

02:11:12.000 You know what I'm talking about?

02:11:13.000 You know when...

02:11:14.000 Okay, there's that story about Alexander the Great and he has this knot...

02:11:16.000 That no one can untie.

02:11:19.000 It's just this endlessly complex knot.

02:11:21.000 And you can't cut it.

02:11:22.000 Actually, that's what he did.

02:11:23.000 He just sliced it in half and destroyed this Gordian knot.

02:11:26.000 I've never heard of that.

02:11:27.000 Gordian knot?

02:11:28.000 Yeah.

02:11:29.000 And you have these people.

02:11:31.000 I don't know.

02:11:32.000 Wow, that's the first time I've ever heard that.

02:11:36.000 You're dealing with this infinitely complex situation and you still have humans that are trying to solve it.

02:11:43.000 Yeah.

02:11:44.000 So, I don't know.

02:11:45.000 I think sometimes there's...

02:11:51.000 Sometimes there's a lot of energy put towards, you know, defaming the people in power and saying, and I'm not a supporter of a lot of the people that you're talking about or the systems that govern, but I think it was interesting, like this last week, sorry to get back on this, but...

02:12:06.000 The shooting thing.

02:12:08.000 And there's this knee-jerk reaction that comes from a place of anger with a lot of people.

02:12:13.000 And I think that ends up just being wasted energy.

02:12:16.000 When people just start spouting off about how things aren't the way they should be and reacting angrily, it takes away energy from changing individual lifestyles, which is the only thing we can really do, right?

02:12:30.000 Like, that's the only thing that you can change is how you're living your life and your usage of these resources that are basically the reason why we're in all these difficult situations.

02:12:39.000 Because the way we live our lives takes up X amount of resource from, you know, Afghan Joe. 1.00

02:12:44.000 So we have to go in there and take his stuff and create, you know, complicated situations we can't get out of.

02:12:51.000 Right.

02:12:51.000 You know, I don't know.

02:12:52.000 I'm just rambling.

02:12:53.000 No, no, no.

02:12:57.000 I agree with you in a lot of ways.

02:12:59.000 And I think that I would hate to have to be... 1.00

02:13:02.000 I think if you were elected president right now, you'd be fucked. 0.99

02:13:05.000 I think anybody would be. 0.99

02:13:06.000 People even with good intentions.

02:13:08.000 I think there's so many things you have to deal with.

02:13:10.000 There's so many pressures.

02:13:11.000 There's so much going on. 1.00

02:13:12.000 And, you know, as much as you want to be the voice of reason, you live in a fucking crazy world. 0.99

02:13:17.000 Pakistan still exists, okay? 1.00

02:13:19.000 It's a fucking completely disconnected country with nuclear arms and a hate for India, their next-door neighbor. 0.99

02:13:25.000 And, I mean, we had Shane Smith from Vice.com, and he was talking about how, you know, leaders from that part of the world have, like, said they want to strap themselves with nuclear bombs and go over and destroy their enemies. 1.00

02:13:35.000 I mean, they're fucking... 1.00

02:13:35.000 Fucking crazy. 1.00

02:13:36.000 And this is 2012. And this is a reality that people have to deal with. 0.99

02:13:40.000 That's why you need Navy SEALs. 1.00

02:13:42.000 You need the Army.

02:13:43.000 You need the Marines.

02:13:44.000 People don't want to think that that's real.

02:13:47.000 They don't want to think that you do need a military. 0.99

02:13:51.000 You fucking need a military, man. 1.00

02:13:52.000 Unless you want your wife raped in the street by Chinese soldiers. 1.00

02:13:56.000 And I'm not saying the Chinese want to do that. 1.00

02:13:58.000 But I'm saying that that traditionally has been what human beings have done.

02:14:02.000 That's what Genghis Khan did.

02:14:03.000 That's what the Romans did. 0.98

02:14:05.000 That's what the Greeks did.

02:14:06.000 People have been taking over people from the history from the first time people started writing things down. 0.99

02:14:11.000 It's a fucking series of stories about people taking over other people. 0.97

02:14:15.000 That's what everybody's always done. 0.99

02:14:16.000 And if you don't protect the people, then that's most likely going to happen because we really haven't evolved enough to not have it happen.

02:14:24.000 You know, it would be beautiful if everybody was all peace, love, and kumbaya. 0.92

02:14:27.000 But the reality is, if you actually pay attention to the news, there's a lot of non-kumbaya type shit going down all over the world. 0.97

02:14:35.000 You need a little bit of a military. 0.99

02:14:37.000 The problem is, you got a military and then you have a bunch of people that decide, you know, we'll fucking send these bitches over here and then we got some oil and we'll just make a lot of money. 1.00

02:14:45.000 There you go. 0.99

02:14:47.000 2012. I have no point to this.

02:14:49.000 And this bitchin' doesn't do any good. 1.00

02:14:51.000 And the only thing that could possibly help is that somebody maybe could listen to me and run for president and make some sense. 0.98

02:14:58.000 That's it.

02:14:58.000 The young people are the only people that you can change.

02:15:01.000 You're not going to change Newt Gingrich. 1.00

02:15:03.000 That old goofy fuck. 1.00

02:15:04.000 He's not going to take mushrooms. 1.00

02:15:05.000 What are you going to do to Newt Gingrich?

02:15:07.000 How are you going to change Newt Gingrich?

02:15:08.000 You can't even slip him.

02:15:10.000 He'd freak out and have a heart attack. 1.00

02:15:12.000 Cut his dick off and drown himself in a bathtub. 1.00

02:15:14.000 He'd go crazy. 1.00

02:15:15.000 Oh dear.

02:15:17.000 That's no way to go.

02:15:18.000 No, that's no way to go.

02:15:22.000 There's no point to this.

02:15:24.000 We've had this conversation with 100 different people 100 different times.

02:15:29.000 I don't think that...

02:15:32.000 I really get so uncomfortable talking about these things because I don't feel like I've informed myself enough to have a strong opinion.

02:15:39.000 But my instincts and just...

02:15:41.000 I agree with you that it doesn't matter who's president. 1.00

02:15:44.000 It's like you're fucked because you've inherited a mountain of shit, you know, for centuries. 1.00

02:16:01.000 I think it's going to be something huge that's going to change everything. 1.00

02:16:04.000 I don't know what that is.

02:16:05.000 I don't know if that's something catastrophic. 0.99

02:16:07.000 I don't know if that's the aliens coming or whatever the fuck. 0.98

02:16:11.000 But something else would have to happen for anything to really change. 0.99

02:16:14.000 I think it's happening right in front of our face.

02:16:17.000 I think it's the internet.

02:16:19.000 Oh yeah.

02:16:20.000 If there's an alien, I think the alien is the internet.

02:16:23.000 This alien entity that is created by humans that allows people to connect and exponentially grow together in some strange way that would never be possible without it.

02:16:36.000 To have access to information that would never be available.

02:16:39.000 And no one saw it coming.

02:16:41.000 No one saw it coming.

02:16:42.000 And it's a factor.

02:16:43.000 It's an alien factor created by human beings.

02:16:46.000 It's alien to the earth.

02:16:48.000 It's alien to any of the systems that have been set up before as far as natural systems of natural selection, of survival of the fittest.

02:16:56.000 This is an alien system.

02:16:58.000 This is an access to information and language.

02:17:01.000 However, if something happens with...

02:17:03.000 What did you say, Brian?

02:17:04.000 None of us have the know-how most people...

02:17:09.000 If the Wi-Fi gets knocked out, you know what I mean?

02:17:12.000 You lose all access to it.

02:17:14.000 No, that's true.

02:17:14.000 But you know what?

02:17:15.000 If your jugular gets slit, your blood falls out and you're done.

02:17:21.000 God, I hope the internet isn't our jugular.

02:17:23.000 That's why I'm saying I need to learn how to live in the woods.

02:17:25.000 Make my bows and arrows analogous to our blood.

02:17:30.000 You know which ones are the good berries and the bad berries. 0.99

02:17:32.000 You know that Ultimate Fighter star that broke his penis? 1.00

02:17:36.000 Yes! 1.00

02:17:37.000 This is totally unrelated.

02:17:41.000 Magical Ray Elby.

02:17:42.000 Apparently he had a girl hopping up and down on his Johnson and she miscalculated her exit and re-entry and it was tanked to tip, snapped his P9 and the homeboy was in the hospital for several days getting his shaft repaired and who knows if he ever totally recovered.

02:18:01.000 That must be some real force. 0.97

02:18:03.000 That's how an ultimate fighter fucks. 0.98

02:18:06.000 Is that tendons? 0.99

02:18:07.000 Is that muscle? 0.98

02:18:08.000 It's dick tissue. 0.99

02:18:09.000 It's officially dick tissue. 0.99

02:18:12.000 Yeah, it's officially dick tissue. 0.99

02:18:15.000 That's my new favorite word. 0.97

02:18:16.000 I've never broken it, but I heard it a couple of times.

02:18:18.000 That's like, you okay baby?

02:18:19.000 How's your dish you?

02:18:22.000 Frothy. 1.00

02:18:23.000 You can't let a strange girl who doesn't know how long your penis is ride you. 1.00

02:18:27.000 You should hold firmly onto her waist and control her exit and re-entry. 1.00

02:18:33.000 Can you imagine that?

02:18:34.000 You gotta be careful.

02:18:35.000 You gotta have a good grip on the waist and you gotta do a lot of kettlebells too.

02:18:40.000 Pick her up in case she gets crazy.

02:18:42.000 You want to be able to control that thrust.

02:18:43.000 It's very important.

02:18:45.000 You know, I mean, a lot of girls would like to be on top. 1.00

02:18:48.000 There's nothing wrong with that, folks.

02:18:49.000 Don't get wrong. 1.00

02:18:49.000 But you men, protect your penis, okay? 1.00

02:18:52.000 And the way to protect your penis is a firm grip on the hips. 1.00

02:18:55.000 There's got to be a certain point where you're in danger. 1.00

02:18:58.000 When they pass this, you know how long your dick is. 1.00

02:19:01.000 Was she on top for sure? 1.00

02:19:03.000 Yeah, she was bouncing up and down. 1.00

02:19:04.000 That's the only way to break a dick. 0.99

02:19:06.000 If he misfired, that falls on him. 1.00

02:19:09.000 You would know you were doing it and you would stop while you were doing it.

02:19:12.000 You wouldn't do it. 1.00

02:19:13.000 The only way to break a dick is a girl has to be on top. 1.00

02:19:15.000 I think that's 100% of all the broken dicks have come from a girl being on top. 1.00

02:19:18.000 There's a few off-the-bed falls and stuff like that. 0.98

02:19:21.000 Yeah, those guys are...

02:19:23.000 That's natural selection.

02:19:24.000 They're supposed to fall.

02:19:25.000 What'd you do? 1.00

02:19:26.000 Tripp landed on his dick. 1.00

02:19:27.000 It's happened. 1.00

02:19:28.000 And then you broke it. 1.00

02:19:29.000 That dick. 0.99

02:19:29.000 I don't think that's happened. 0.99

02:19:31.000 Dude's tripped and landed on his dick. 0.99

02:19:35.000 In jiu-jitsu once, I used to not wear a cup. 1.00

02:19:37.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:19:39.000 Are you insane? 1.00

02:19:39.000 Here comes that story again. 1.00

02:19:40.000 You love this story. 1.00

02:19:41.000 I got kneed in the dick. 1.00

02:19:43.000 Like on the dick. 1.00

02:19:44.000 I flattened my dick out. 1.00

02:19:45.000 Bam! 1.00

02:19:46.000 Really hard.

02:19:46.000 By my friend Einstein.

02:19:48.000 Incidentally.

02:19:48.000 It's a funny nickname.

02:19:50.000 He's a great guy.

02:19:51.000 Anyway, it wasn't his fault.

02:19:52.000 He was just trying to pass by guard. 1.00

02:19:54.000 And he slammed his knee into my dick. 1.00

02:19:55.000 And I didn't know I was hurt. 1.00

02:19:57.000 I mean, I knew it hurt.

02:19:58.000 But I thought it was okay.

02:20:00.000 And, you know, it's just like, ah!

02:20:02.000 And then, you know, you sit down for a minute or so.

02:20:05.000 And then you go back in.

02:20:06.000 When you...

02:20:06.000 Not in so much pain.

02:20:08.000 But then when I went to the locker room after training, I had blue shorts on or blue pants on.

02:20:14.000 I didn't know.

02:20:15.000 And I took my pants off and my jockstrap was red with blood.

02:20:18.000 Oh my god. 0.99

02:20:19.000 So my dick had been bleeding into my jockstrap. 1.00

02:20:22.000 And then I peed and it came out of my dick. 1.00

02:20:24.000 It was bloody. 0.99

02:20:24.000 So then I had to figure out, okay, do I overreact here or do I treat it like I would treat my nose? 0.99

02:20:30.000 Because if my nose was bloody...

02:20:33.000 My nose is important to me.

02:20:34.000 If my nose was bloody, I would go to a doctor.

02:20:36.000 So this is one of the things you have to do when you do jiu-jitsu on a regular basis.

02:20:40.000 You're always getting hurt.

02:20:41.000 So you've got to know what the difference between a torn ACL is and a cramped muscle.

02:20:46.000 So I had to figure out. 0.99

02:20:48.000 So what I did was I decided I was going to masturbate. 0.99

02:20:51.000 So I went home. 0.99

02:20:52.000 No, you didn't. 1.00

02:20:53.000 Are you retarded? 1.00

02:20:54.000 No, no, no. 1.00

02:20:54.000 I went home and I was like, if I have a hard-on... 1.00

02:20:58.000 I'm sure my dick still works, so I'm good. 0.99

02:21:01.000 So I got a hard on, and I ejaculated, and it looked like an embryo. 0.99

02:21:04.000 It looked like the inside of an egg. 0.98

02:21:07.000 No, you don't.

02:21:07.000 No, that's not it.

02:21:08.000 Please tell me that's not your jizz. 0.87

02:21:10.000 No, I don't have my jizz online. 0.95

02:21:13.000 My jizz is not online anyway.

02:21:15.000 Thank God, because I'm not ready for that.

02:21:16.000 I don't want to see that.

02:21:17.000 And it came out that way.

02:21:19.000 When I peed, it came out that way for three or four days.

02:21:21.000 And it slowly, like, lasts and lasts.

02:21:24.000 So I was like, I kept touching it.

02:21:25.000 Make sure it's not infected.

02:21:27.000 There's no pain.

02:21:27.000 I checked my temperature.

02:21:28.000 No fever.

02:21:30.000 Everything's cool.

02:21:30.000 There's no infection.

02:21:31.000 So I was like, alright.

02:21:32.000 Just took a few days off.

02:21:34.000 And that was it?

02:21:35.000 That was it.

02:21:36.000 It healed up.

02:21:37.000 I'm pretty sure it's okay.

02:21:38.000 And I made a baby since then, so it's all good.

02:21:40.000 A blood baby.

02:21:41.000 Good for you.

02:21:43.000 I think I made both of my babies since then, so it's 100%.

02:21:47.000 It fires.

02:21:48.000 Wow.

02:21:49.000 But it was a little scary.

02:21:50.000 But it didn't look scary.

02:21:51.000 It looked normal on the outside.

02:21:53.000 That's why I was so confident.

02:21:54.000 It wasn't fat and swollen.

02:21:55.000 How many days did it take until you felt better?

02:21:58.000 It didn't hurt.

02:21:59.000 That was the crazy thing.

02:22:00.000 Blood was coming out of it.

02:22:02.000 That is bizarre. 1.00

02:22:03.000 Well, it's not bizarre when you need the dick. 1.00

02:22:05.000 Ryan, what is that? 1.00

02:22:06.000 Oh, that is from my dick. 1.00

02:22:07.000 No. 1.00

02:22:08.000 No, it's not.

02:22:09.000 Please stop.

02:22:10.000 It's not.

02:22:10.000 I didn't put it online.

02:22:12.000 That's just blood.

02:22:13.000 But it was really weird.

02:22:15.000 But it was also, I was really questioning my own judgment. 1.00

02:22:18.000 I was like, did I really just jerk off after I broke my dick? 1.00

02:22:21.000 What the fuck is wrong with me? 1.00

02:22:23.000 And I was sitting there looking at the sink, looking at this, you know... 0.99

02:22:28.000 And I did it in a medical sort of way. 1.00

02:22:30.000 I didn't sit in front of a computer like, oh yeah, you fucking sexy bitch. 1.00

02:22:33.000 So you really had a stern look on your face? 1.00

02:22:34.000 Yeah, I was all medical and shit. 0.97

02:22:36.000 I'm sure I probably thought about some ex-girlfriend or something to get the job done, but it was a clinical approach. 1.00

02:22:43.000 I wanted to make sure that my dick worked. 0.99

02:22:46.000 Did that disturb you when Nina Hartley was talking about wearing gloves when she was on Kevin Pereira's show? 0.99

02:22:50.000 Yeah, what the hell is that about? 1.00

02:22:51.000 She'd rather have a person wear a glove and put his finger in her ass. 1.00

02:22:54.000 We had Nina Hartley on. 1.00

02:22:55.000 Do you know who she is?

02:22:56.000 No. 0.90

02:22:56.000 Old school porn star from like the 80s. 0.90

02:22:58.000 And she's still doing orgies and banging people all over the world. 1.00

02:23:01.000 She's old! 0.95

02:23:02.000 I do know who that is!

02:23:05.000 What did she say?

02:23:06.000 I like how you said that.

02:23:07.000 She's old! 0.81

02:23:08.000 And I'm sorry, what did she say?

02:23:09.000 She likes to, when people wear gloves, she wears gloves and she wants them to wear gloves. 1.00

02:23:13.000 Like winter gloves?

02:23:15.000 Like mittens?

02:23:16.000 Yeah.

02:23:16.000 Yeah, like big Christmas.

02:23:18.000 What is it about the gloves?

02:23:19.000 Did she...

02:23:20.000 She wants them to be clean.

02:23:21.000 She wants everybody to be clean. 0.64

02:23:22.000 I don't blame her.

02:23:23.000 I mean...

02:23:25.000 I mean, come on.

02:23:26.000 You don't want just any finger going in there.

02:23:29.000 Oh, that's my fashion photography thing.

02:23:31.000 How dare you. 1.00

02:23:32.000 How dare you show my ass. 1.00

02:23:34.000 How come you can show my ass on Ustream, but you can't show that hooker's tit? 1.00

02:23:38.000 Because that's not your real butt, you told me. 1.00

02:23:40.000 That's my real butt. 0.99

02:23:41.000 That's not my real butt. 1.00

02:23:43.000 What the fuck is wrong with you, son? 1.00

02:23:45.000 You know what? 1.00

02:23:46.000 You guys were going to play another song about an hour ago.

02:23:48.000 We don't have to.

02:23:48.000 We don't have to, honestly.

02:23:50.000 I kind of like where this is going.

02:23:52.000 No, we would love to.

02:23:53.000 You guys play one.

02:23:54.000 It's called Dick Tissue.

02:23:56.000 Oh, no.

02:23:56.000 Broke.

02:23:57.000 Yo, Dick Tissue.

02:23:59.000 Do you guys have a song called Dick Tissue?

02:24:02.000 Reset.

02:24:02.000 No, because it's like more of a...

02:24:05.000 Something going on here.

02:24:06.000 No, no.

02:24:07.000 I just don't know if I want to play this song.

02:24:08.000 What song is this?

02:24:09.000 It's a new song, and it's like...

02:24:11.000 I don't know.

02:24:12.000 It's a tender one.

02:24:13.000 Can we talk about...

02:24:14.000 Can we get soft?

02:24:15.000 Can we bring it down?

02:24:17.000 Can we get soft?

02:24:17.000 Tell us about your kids, Jill.

02:24:18.000 My kids are awesome.

02:24:20.000 They're awesome.

02:24:22.000 Yeah, I love them.

02:24:24.000 They're fun.

02:24:25.000 Great.

02:24:26.000 Little girls.

02:24:27.000 I have little tiny girls that I hang out with every day. 0.99

02:24:30.000 A big part of my day is hanging out.

02:24:32.000 Like, yes, they're your children.

02:24:35.000 Like, no question.

02:24:36.000 But it's not just my children.

02:24:38.000 It's also a little four-year-old individual who happens to be a girl.

02:24:43.000 And she's experiencing all these girl things. 1.00

02:24:45.000 And I want to be like, what the fuck? 0.99

02:24:47.000 We're not going to go see that. 1.00

02:24:48.000 I don't want to go see that shit. 1.00

02:24:49.000 But whatever it is that she wants to go do, like, we have to go see the Grinch. 1.00

02:24:53.000 You have to get excited with her.

02:24:56.000 Do you want to go to the carousel?

02:24:57.000 Oh, yes!

02:24:58.000 The carousel would be so good!

02:25:00.000 I want to ride a unicorn.

02:25:01.000 Do you think the unicorn will be available?

02:25:03.000 I bet it will.

02:25:04.000 Did she say available?

02:25:05.000 Oh, yeah.

02:25:06.000 She's wicked smart. 0.98

02:25:07.000 She's crazy smart.

02:25:08.000 But it's like you get to see things through the eyes of a four-year-old girl.

02:25:13.000 Available.

02:25:13.000 It's really interesting.

02:25:14.000 I love that.

02:25:14.000 It's fascinating.

02:25:15.000 It's incredibly fascinating.

02:25:17.000 I mean, obviously, I love her to death.

02:25:19.000 She's amazing.

02:25:20.000 I'm so happy.

02:25:21.000 Just having children is like a really incredible experience.

02:25:24.000 It's really hard to wrap your head around it.

02:25:26.000 And I don't recommend it to everybody.

02:25:27.000 And I don't recommend it to people who are in bad situations in their relationship or stressed out.

02:25:33.000 But if you've got your ducks in order and you're in a good place with a nice person, having a kid is a crazy experience.

02:25:41.000 It's going to be hard times, but when you can hang out with this little person...

02:25:45.000 That you literally love more than you love your own life.

02:25:47.000 Like you would sacrifice your own life in order to keep them happy.

02:25:50.000 It's a very strange thing.

02:25:52.000 It's like, as an entertainer, I'm sure you guys can relate to this, especially being around a lot of other entertainers.

02:25:58.000 You guys are very balanced, but not a lot of us are.

02:26:01.000 A lot of us are very me, me, me, me, me.

02:26:04.000 And it's really hard to get past that.

02:26:06.000 There's a lot of selfish ideas out there in the world of art and creativity.

02:26:11.000 And one of the things that's been really freeing to me is to actually have someone in my life, have people in my life, not just one, a gang of these little people, that I literally love more than I like me.

02:26:25.000 I want more for them than for me. 0.93

02:26:27.000 I always thought that was bullshit. 0.97

02:26:29.000 I always thought that was what people said because they wanted to hear people go, Oh, he's so sensitive. 1.00

02:26:35.000 Oh, he's so yoga. 0.94

02:26:38.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

02:26:39.000 It sounds like horseshit. 0.96

02:26:41.000 But then when you understand the actual relationship between a parent and a child, it's not just a little human being. 0.98

02:26:49.000 It's a little human being that is a part of you.

02:26:54.000 You can never understand it unless it's yours.

02:26:58.000 The biological switches that go off are very strange.

02:27:02.000 So your whole feeling about love in general changes when you have children.

02:27:08.000 And my whole outlook on human beings.

02:27:10.000 Because once I had children, I changed the way I looked at everybody.

02:27:15.000 I don't look at adults as adults anymore.

02:27:18.000 I look at adults as babies that became adults.

02:27:22.000 I look at adults as like these bundles of potential that slowly but surely became a grown-up human being.

02:27:29.000 What are you playing, Brian?

02:27:30.000 Little baby.

02:27:31.000 You're playing babies eating lemons.

02:27:34.000 Have you given your babies the lemons yet?

02:27:36.000 Yeah, they like lemons.

02:27:37.000 They eat them.

02:27:37.000 It's weird.

02:27:38.000 Ha ha, peace.

02:27:39.000 Yeah, they make that face and then they bite down and chew them. 0.97

02:27:43.000 Oh my god!

02:27:46.000 There's a whole community of babies eating lemons.

02:27:49.000 That's the best.

02:27:50.000 Oh my god!

02:27:51.000 It's okay because it's not painful, but it is kind of crazy.

02:27:55.000 You know, like you don't feel like the kid's getting tortured.

02:27:58.000 Because look, they still ate it.

02:28:00.000 They don't wipe their mouth off. 1.00

02:28:02.000 They just go, whoa, what the fuck, man? 1.00

02:28:04.000 That was a lime. 1.00

02:28:05.000 That kid's a pussy. 1.00

02:28:07.000 That kid freaked out from a lime. 1.00

02:28:09.000 Lime's not even that bad, you little fuck. 1.00

02:28:11.000 When I was a kid, we had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to get a lime. 1.00

02:28:14.000 Lies. 0.99

02:28:15.000 Lies you tell.

02:28:18.000 You feel like, are we in the right groove now?

02:28:20.000 We might have gotten there.

02:28:21.000 What's this next song?

02:28:23.000 Well, it's...

02:28:24.000 Okay, it's kind of called...

02:28:30.000 It's got a weird name.

02:28:32.000 I'm not sure if this is what we're going to call it.

02:28:34.000 But the chorus is, what you going to do now?

02:28:36.000 And it's not like water you're going to do now.

02:28:39.000 Like spelling it out, you know?

02:28:41.000 So like...

02:28:42.000 So this is not even named yet?

02:28:43.000 Not really, no.

02:28:44.000 We have a chance to hear a song that's not even named.

02:28:47.000 Maybe you can name it Joe.

02:28:50.000 Maybe we'll ask the people on Twitter to name it.

02:28:52.000 People on Ustream, if you have some good...

02:28:55.000 Maybe not.

02:28:56.000 Maybe not. 0.99

02:28:57.000 We're not guaranteeing shit. 0.99

02:28:59.000 But if you come up with the perfect name and Ben and Suzanne go, holy shit, that guy, fuckstick69, cold-blooded, he found it. 0.99

02:29:11.000 We found the right name. 0.98

02:29:12.000 Maybe Balls of Steel can help us out here.

02:29:14.000 Balls of Steel, where are you?

02:29:15.000 You introduced us.

02:29:17.000 Then he disappeared.

02:29:19.000 No, he's still on my board.

02:29:20.000 He's still on my board.

02:29:21.000 We are all Balls of Steel.

02:29:23.000 Bloody Balls.

02:29:24.000 Bloody Balls of Steel.

02:29:26.000 Shout out to Duncan Trussell.

02:29:27.000 Aww.

02:29:28.000 Aww.

02:29:29.000 Aww.

02:29:30.000 That heart is steel.

02:29:31.000 He's the Ball of Steel.

02:29:33.000 Him, Tom Green, and Lance Armstrong can form a trio.

02:29:36.000 Dude.

02:29:40.000 What's it called?

02:29:40.000 New Planetary Avengers.

02:29:42.000 Trio.

02:29:42.000 It's Trio.

02:29:43.000 I want to see a triette.

02:29:45.000 You know, quartet sounds better than trio.

02:29:48.000 A triette? 0.99

02:29:49.000 Trio sounds like a...

02:29:49.000 We'll work that out next time we come in.

02:29:51.000 Okay.

02:29:51.000 Got to take one more main fall away.

02:29:53.000 So, the working title?

02:29:55.000 Yeah.

02:29:56.000 Whatcha gonna do now?

02:29:57.000 Whatcha gonna do now?

02:29:58.000 Ladies and gentlemen on Twitter, now's your time to be heard.

02:30:02.000 All right.

02:30:03.000 Ben and Suzanne are listening.

02:30:05.000 Yeah.

02:30:06.000 And judging you.

02:30:07.000 Just kidding.

02:30:07.000 We're not.

02:30:08.000 We accept you.

02:30:20.000 Oh baby, that fire's coming down. 0.98

02:30:25.000 Right into your walls, right out of your mouth. 0.76

02:30:32.000 Everything you love just dash on the ground.

02:30:36.000 Oh babe, so what you gonna do now?

02:30:41.000 So you run to the river, you run to the sea.

02:30:48.000 You sift through the road and search the debris.

02:30:53.000 But you won't find anything if you don't find peace.

02:30:58.000 Oh babe, so what you gonna do now? 0.97

02:31:06.000 Don't wait until you die.

02:31:13.000 Can always change your mind, make you right So why you're still waiting outside? 0.99

02:31:32.000 Maybe your mama didn't treat you right Maybe you just didn't sleep last night I don't give a damn what you wanna fight. 0.86

02:31:49.000 Ooh, babe, so what you gonna do now? 0.97

02:31:54.000 Cause I'll be down that door you locked in your chest.

02:32:00.000 Swallow the key throughout the gas.

02:32:06.000 And I'm standing here where everyone lives.

02:32:11.000 Ooh, babe, so what you gonna do now? 0.99

02:32:19.000 Wait until you die. 0.99

02:32:24.000 You can always change your mind and make it bad. 0.90

02:32:30.000 So why are you still waiting outside?

02:32:56.000 Come out from the weeds and into my arms.

02:33:01.000 Oh babe, I know the dark and how it can harm you.

02:33:07.000 Yeah, now that my conscience ripped me apart too.

02:33:12.000 So here's what we're gonna do now.

02:33:24.000 All of the losses you threw to the wind And we'll carry the weight if it breaks everything And that's what we're gonna do now Yeah,

02:33:40.000 that's what we're gonna do now Hey,

02:33:56.000 thanks.

02:33:57.000 I really liked that one.

02:33:58.000 That was great.

02:34:00.000 Cool.

02:34:00.000 Wow, that's badass.

02:34:02.000 Play another one. 1.00

02:34:03.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:34:04.000 One more? 1.00

02:34:05.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:34:06.000 Come on, you fucks. 1.00

02:34:08.000 You guys are professionals. 1.00

02:34:09.000 How dare you?

02:34:11.000 I can't play fiddle right now.

02:34:14.000 What are you going to play?

02:34:15.000 What is it?

02:34:15.000 God of Love?

02:34:16.000 That's kind of a bummer one.

02:34:17.000 No, it's not.

02:34:18.000 It's so great.

02:34:19.000 It's a song that Ben wrote and I think it's awesome.

02:34:21.000 Why do you think it's a bummer?

02:34:23.000 Because of the lyrics and how it sounds?

02:34:26.000 But what else?

02:34:27.000 It sounds badass.

02:34:30.000 I want to hear the God of Love.

02:34:32.000 That's us putting it out there.

02:34:34.000 We've never played it live before.

02:34:35.000 So what?

02:34:36.000 Do it!

02:34:38.000 Listen, we love you.

02:34:39.000 Do it.

02:34:40.000 Make it happen.

02:34:42.000 I don't care.

02:34:42.000 We can try.

02:34:43.000 Okay, I hope you guys just accept us out there.

02:34:45.000 Okay, hold on.

02:34:53.000 Alright, here we go.

02:35:00.000 Oh God of love If there is one You got me pinned So I tap your arm And I slap the floor I try to tag out But I got no team Makes me sad.

02:35:23.000 I don't.

02:35:24.000 And I'm the jealous guy.

02:35:27.000 And I don't need to prove it to you.

02:35:30.000 Yeah, I can be an angry woman.

02:35:33.000 I can look right through you.

02:35:37.000 What do I have to do?

02:35:39.000 Get on my hands and knees.

02:35:42.000 What do I have to do?

02:35:45.000 Buy a rosary.

02:35:47.000 Oh, what do you need for me?

02:35:54.000 Won't you tell me, please?

02:36:02.000 Oh God of love, make me a fine prince Won't you lock me down, savage my innocence Give me hands to hold, give me skin to taste Give him my hips to throw And I'll give him my time to waste And I'll do you right And I'll praise your name And I'll pay your tab Even

02:36:33.000 though you drive me crazy What do I have to do?

02:36:38.000 Get on my hands and knees What do I have to do?

02:36:44.000 Buy a rosary What do you need for me?

02:37:25.000 Or turning lovers into enemies Oh, even scores Could I ever ask for more?

02:37:40.000 And it's what I got What I've been waiting for Cause I feel confused Feel like a train wreck Like all the flowers died And it ain't winter yet And I'm the quiet guy And I'm a silent soul So won't you help me stand and pay my toll?

02:38:11.000 What do I have to do?

02:38:14.000 Get on my hands and knees What do I have to do?

02:38:22.000 What do you need from me?

02:38:28.000 Won't you tell me, please?

02:38:34.000 Won't you tell me, please?

02:38:51.000 That wasn't a bummer at all.

02:38:53.000 That was awesome.

02:38:55.000 Dude, that was awesome.

02:38:57.000 How about The Ballad of Buck Angel?

02:39:00.000 I'm so glad you said that, because I was really hoping...

02:39:04.000 Trosty Tragsvagason on Twitter suggested that.

02:39:09.000 The Ballad of Buck Angel.

02:39:11.000 Really? 1.00

02:39:12.000 Fuck yeah, dude. 1.00

02:39:13.000 I want to hang out with that guy. 1.00

02:39:15.000 Fuck yeah, dude. 1.00

02:39:16.000 With that guy or Buck Angel, which one? 1.00

02:39:18.000 I've already hung out with Buck Angel.

02:39:20.000 I mean, come on.

02:39:20.000 Look at this.

02:39:22.000 He's such a kind man.

02:39:23.000 Very tender.

02:39:24.000 Very tender.

02:39:25.000 And really, like, very soft-lived.

02:39:28.000 Genuinely...

02:39:29.000 Both of them.

02:39:29.000 I was just going to say, which one's you talking about?

02:39:32.000 I'm sure one's not soft.

02:39:36.000 Barf! 1.00

02:39:37.000 Yeah, he just puked on his laptop.

02:39:39.000 I almost did.

02:39:40.000 Yeah, I don't mind trannies, but not that kind. 1.00

02:39:42.000 That's a little strong.

02:39:44.000 Trannies going the other way. 1.00

02:39:46.000 Yeah, there's different ways to slice it, no pun intended.

02:39:50.000 I seem to be more compatible with the men who want to be women than with the women who want to be men. 0.50

02:39:57.000 Those confuse me more.

02:39:58.000 More compatible.

02:39:59.000 That was such a PC way.

02:40:03.000 Well, if you looked at it, as a man, what would you choose?

02:40:06.000 We have to wrap this up soon.

02:40:08.000 What would you choose?

02:40:09.000 Would you rather be the man who dates the man who used to be a woman but is now a man?

02:40:16.000 Okay.

02:40:17.000 Or, you know what I mean?

02:40:18.000 Are you asking me personally, Joe?

02:40:20.000 Because I don't really know how to answer that question.

02:40:21.000 I should ask Ben. 1.00

02:40:24.000 Would you rather date a Buck Angel who's clearly very manly But has a vagina. 1.00

02:40:30.000 Or like a little tie. 1.00

02:40:32.000 A little tie boy. 0.58

02:40:33.000 A Twinkie.

02:40:34.000 A Twinkie type situation.

02:40:37.000 How dare you! 0.99

02:40:39.000 Who becomes a woman. 0.81

02:40:41.000 You would rather have that, right?

02:40:42.000 You would rather have a man who at least looks like a woman. 1.00

02:40:45.000 You're saying like a manly vagina having a man? 1.00

02:40:49.000 Buck Angel's truly a man. 1.00

02:40:51.000 Truly a man, but not really.

02:40:53.000 Really is a woman. 1.00

02:40:53.000 Has a vagina. 1.00

02:40:54.000 Would you rather have that? 1.00

02:40:57.000 Or would you rather have a guy who used to be a guy but wanted to be a girl, who felt like he was a girl, but really looks like a girl?

02:41:04.000 Are they going to listen to me when I talk to them?

02:41:06.000 Are they going to listen to you?

02:41:07.000 What are we going to talk about?

02:41:08.000 Do you really need that?

02:41:09.000 Don't you have friends?

02:41:10.000 Come on.

02:41:10.000 What's going on?

02:41:11.000 Is that what you really want out of a relationship?

02:41:13.000 You want them to listen to you?

02:41:14.000 Get a dog, man.

02:41:16.000 Dogs will listen to you.

02:41:17.000 He does.

02:41:18.000 He's got Larry Bird. 1.00

02:41:18.000 Larry Bird fucking loves Ben. 1.00

02:41:20.000 And he does talk to you. 1.00

02:41:22.000 You won't need a relationship anymore. 0.99

02:41:23.000 Just jerk off and have Larry Bird in your life and cut all the complications out, man. 1.00

02:41:28.000 Twink's a short name for a transsexual, right? 1.00

02:41:30.000 No, twinks are little gay fellas who are fairly non-muscular and very boy-like. 1.00

02:41:37.000 What do they call them in China? 1.00

02:41:39.000 Oh, you son of a bitch. 1.00

02:41:42.000 Oh, you son of a bitch. 1.00

02:41:44.000 And he fucking prepared that one. 1.00

02:41:46.000 He prepared that one in his shitty little mind for like an hour. 1.00

02:41:50.000 Oh, like 20 seconds. 1.00

02:41:52.000 For like an hour.

02:41:54.000 He was rolling around how to introduce that one. 1.00

02:41:58.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

02:41:59.000 Son of a bitch! 1.00

02:42:00.000 Not controversial. 1.00

02:42:01.000 Thursday night, Red Band will be at the Improv in Hollywood the night before the End of the World show.

02:42:06.000 Joey Diaz is going to be there.

02:42:07.000 I'm most likely going to be there.

02:42:09.000 Let's just say I'm going to be there.

02:42:10.000 Okay, you're there.

02:42:12.000 Yeah, like I said, there's only 60 tickets left for the Wiltern.

02:42:16.000 With Honey Honey.

02:42:18.000 Honey Honey wants to come.

02:42:19.000 She can come too.

02:42:20.000 If you guys want to the night before. 1.00

02:42:22.000 Can Ben come too, you fuck? 1.00

02:42:23.000 I said Honey Honey. 1.00

02:42:24.000 Yeah, he said she can come.

02:42:25.000 Oh.

02:42:26.000 Okay, they are a group.

02:42:27.000 It's them.

02:42:28.000 It's not she.

02:42:29.000 It's them.

02:42:30.000 Look, you gotta make out with both of us.

02:42:32.000 I don't care.

02:42:33.000 He will do that.

02:42:34.000 He has no fear.

02:42:35.000 Black power pills? 1.00

02:42:36.000 He has no fear of making out with Ben while he has sex with you. 0.98

02:42:40.000 Trust me, I'm under the influence for three days, so you got me. 0.95

02:42:43.000 The kid's Randy and Reddy, ladies and gentlemen.

02:42:46.000 If you're in the Pasadena area, Brian Redman giving out sperm.

02:42:51.000 All righty.

02:42:54.000 Brian Redman to the main stage.

02:42:57.000 Alright, you guys.

02:42:58.000 I've got some frothy loads for you.

02:43:00.000 $14 margaritas.

02:43:03.000 Step on up.

02:43:05.000 And they don't yell out because there's some pee in it.

02:43:08.000 Alright. 1.00

02:43:10.000 Ruined it again, you fuck. 1.00

02:43:12.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

02:43:16.000 Settle the fuck down. 1.00

02:43:18.000 Okay. 0.99

02:43:19.000 This show essentially is over.

02:43:22.000 This was a fun one.

02:43:23.000 It got dark.

02:43:23.000 Thank you for having us.

02:43:24.000 But it was good.

02:43:25.000 Thank you guys for being on it.

02:43:27.000 You know, if it wasn't for you guys, we probably would have never went down the road of musical guests.

02:43:33.000 It's been really fun.

02:43:34.000 You guys were the first.

02:43:35.000 Dude, Balls of Steel. 0.99

02:43:36.000 Whatever it was, it was in the fucking stars for us, guys. 0.99

02:43:39.000 Yeah, I think it was. 0.99

02:43:40.000 It's friendship.

02:43:41.000 It was, I mean, the guy, if you don't know the story, a guy on my message board sent me a message, a personal message that said, this is going to be your new favorite band.

02:43:48.000 And it was you guys playing Angel of Death on the top of a roof somewhere in LA. And it was an acoustic version of it.

02:43:54.000 And I was like, wow. 0.99

02:43:56.000 These guys are fucking good. 0.99

02:43:57.000 And then I just started, I think I saw My Little Toy Gun. 0.99

02:44:00.000 I think that was the next song I saw.

02:44:02.000 And I just watched a bunch of your videos. 0.98

02:44:04.000 And I'm like, holy shit, these guys are awesome. 0.97

02:44:06.000 And somehow or another we all got together and now we're besties. 0.99

02:44:09.000 Yeah.

02:44:09.000 It's pretty awesome.

02:44:10.000 I like what's happening here, guys.

02:44:11.000 It's beautiful.

02:44:12.000 One of the coolest things about the internet is the ability to connect people.

02:44:16.000 The other cool thing?

02:44:17.000 Stalkers.

02:44:19.000 That's not cool at all.

02:44:20.000 I disagree very strongly.

02:44:22.000 I'm being facetious.

02:44:24.000 That's the problem with the ability to connect people.

02:44:26.000 Some people are just not fully developed.

02:44:28.000 They're not ready.

02:44:28.000 They're not ready for others.

02:44:30.000 You know, not to segue from stalkers at all, because that's like a wrong place to go from, but I do want to have a little shout out and a thank you to all the amazing Death Squad fans that have come to our shows.

02:44:42.000 There's some incredible people that we've met on our...

02:44:45.000 Don't you ever think you'd be thanking a Death Squad?

02:44:46.000 During our travels.

02:44:47.000 Just stop and think about how weird that is.

02:44:49.000 I'd like to thank the Death Squad.

02:44:50.000 Did you ever think those words would come out of your mouth?

02:44:52.000 I don't think I would, no.

02:44:54.000 Well, we never thought we would call ourselves the Death Squad either.

02:44:56.000 Why do you call them the Death Squad?

02:44:58.000 We were on the Opie and Anthony show. 0.93

02:45:00.000 What was it, 2006 or some shit like that? 0.92

02:45:02.000 Yeah.

02:45:04.000 Opie, when we walked in, I walked in with Tate Fletcher, this big giant dude from The Ultimate Fighter, a good buddy of ours, and Eddie Bravo, who's a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

02:45:14.000 And Opie goes, oh, here's Joe Rogan.

02:45:16.000 He brought in the death squad, like there's these people that were killers.

02:45:21.000 And we just, as a joke, started calling ourselves a death squad.

02:45:25.000 That's really funny.

02:45:26.000 Because he said that.

02:45:27.000 And then Brian started the Death Squad Podcast Network.

02:45:31.000 And it sort of spread through that.

02:45:32.000 And then Brian started selling the Death Squad t-shirts.

02:45:34.000 And then people showed up at shows.

02:45:36.000 And they're all wearing these Death Squad t-shirts.

02:45:38.000 And now people put hashtag Death Squad.

02:45:40.000 It's hashtagged all over the place.

02:45:42.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

02:45:42.000 And Brian does Death Squad shows.

02:45:44.000 He calls the comedy shows Death Squad shows.

02:45:47.000 It just was a crazy thing that sort of just grew and became weird.

02:45:51.000 It's like our group of friends, our gang.

02:45:54.000 If you're on the Death Squad, we pretty much approve of your comedy, what you do.

02:45:59.000 Can musicians be in your Death Squad?

02:46:00.000 Oh yeah, you're in the Death Squad.

02:46:02.000 You guys are 100% Death Squad approved unanimously.

02:46:08.000 We voted right now.

02:46:10.000 I'm so happy.

02:46:11.000 I'm so excited.

02:46:12.000 It's a noise, but we don't really mean the connotation of those words to connect it together like death squad.

02:46:17.000 It became something else.

02:46:19.000 And even though it has that name, we don't think of any...

02:46:22.000 There's no death involved.

02:46:23.000 There's no squad. 0.99

02:46:24.000 It's like a bunch of silly happy people. 0.98

02:46:27.000 You know? 0.98

02:46:28.000 But they just ironically call themselves Death Squad.

02:46:31.000 With the Highland cap, too.

02:46:33.000 That really doesn't... 0.98

02:46:34.000 Tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen, will be our 300th motherfucking episode. 0.98

02:46:40.000 You were 299? 0.98

02:46:42.000 Yes, you guys were 299. And joining us tomorrow will be none other than the great Joey Coco Diaz.

02:46:48.000 Allegedly.

02:46:49.000 You never know with Joey.

02:46:51.000 You never know what's gonna happen.

02:46:53.000 It's part of the fun.

02:46:54.000 And it's also baby week, too.

02:46:56.000 You never know if he's night.

02:46:57.000 Joey Diaz's wife is about to hatch.

02:47:00.000 Yeah.

02:47:01.000 A new Joey Diaz.

02:47:02.000 Push that back in there.

02:47:03.000 A female Joey Diaz who will no doubt be the funniest girl in preschool. 1.00

02:47:09.000 It's just going to come out of Joey.

02:47:10.000 The cats are going to babysit the kid tonight, huh?

02:47:12.000 Cracking jokes right away.

02:47:14.000 It's going to be very interesting.

02:47:15.000 Joey will be with us Friday night at The Wiltern.

02:47:17.000 Honey, honey. 0.50

02:47:17.000 Joey Diaz. 0.50

02:47:18.000 Doug Stanhope.

02:47:19.000 And me!

02:47:20.000 It's going to be awesome.

02:47:21.000 And listen, I got all these emails from all these different people saying they're coming from all over the world.

02:47:25.000 We appreciate the fuck out of that. 0.59

02:47:26.000 And we're very excited. 0.89

02:47:28.000 And I'm so glad that we...

02:47:29.000 Doug and I talked about doing this.

02:47:31.000 Probably in 2003 when we first started doing our shitty version of The Man Show.

02:47:35.000 We said we should have an end of the world party and we're doing it. 1.00

02:47:39.000 JoeRogan.net, my comedy special.

02:47:41.000 It's already out.

02:47:42.000 I was supposed to not talk about it until tomorrow but a bunch of people have already saw it on Twitter while this podcast was going on.

02:47:47.000 And said they loved it, which I'm very happy here.

02:47:51.000 I'm really happy for it. 0.95

02:47:52.000 I would never put it out if it sucked.

02:47:54.000 I worked really hard on this.

02:47:56.000 It was like a good, solid year of preparation.

02:47:59.000 And then it was a long time to set up the infrastructure to sell this and to be able to distribute it online.

02:48:05.000 What Louis C.K. did is a real game changer.

02:48:08.000 It sort of changed the way a lot of people, certainly the way I think about it.

02:48:13.000 Releasing things like this was never even an option or a consideration until we started doing this podcast.

02:48:18.000 So thank you very much.

02:48:19.000 We appreciate the fuck out of you guys. 0.72

02:48:21.000 We're all in this together. 0.97

02:48:22.000 It's helping me as much as it's helping you guys.

02:48:25.000 I swear to God.

02:48:27.000 I don't even believe in God.

02:48:28.000 I swear to him.

02:48:29.000 I believe in Odin.

02:48:32.000 And send him praise.

02:48:34.000 Praise Odin, ladies and gentlemen.

02:48:35.000 It's not that I don't believe in God.

02:48:37.000 It's that I don't believe in him, and I don't not believe in him.

02:48:42.000 If he was there, I wouldn't be shocked.

02:48:45.000 I wouldn't be shocked. 0.98

02:48:46.000 Life itself is fucking crazy enough as it is. 0.99

02:48:48.000 God is an operating system, Joe. 0.99

02:48:50.000 Could be.

02:48:51.000 God could be the guy who programmed the simulation.

02:48:54.000 He could be some autistic kid in Seattle. 1.00

02:48:56.000 With a fucking laptop. 1.00

02:48:58.000 Alright, you fucks. 1.00

02:48:58.000 Look, we love the shit out of ya. 1.00

02:49:01.000 We're sending out positive messages to you. 0.99

02:49:03.000 Take them in and do with them what you will.

02:49:05.000 And we'll see you tomorrow.

02:49:06.000 Mwah! 0.98

The Joe Rogan Experience - December 17, 2012

Joe Rogan Experience #299 - Honey Honey

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Summary

Transcript