The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #357 - Daniele Bolelli

00:00:03.000 Hey, you dirty fucks. 1.00

00:00:06.000 This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. 1.00

00:00:12.000 If you have a small business and you have to go to the post office, you know what a pain in the dick that can be. 1.00

00:00:20.000 That shit ain't good for you. 1.00

00:00:22.000 That's stress. 1.00

00:00:23.000 That stress can be avoided if you use stamps.com.

00:00:27.000 What you can do is, they give you your own digital scale, you can print up all your shit on your own PC, or computer, Mac, Mac or PC, either one works, and you just put your own postage on it, and then the post office comes and they pick it up,

00:00:44.000 and that's it. 0.96

00:00:45.000 You don't have to do any of that waiting online shit. 0.97

00:00:47.000 You don't have to wait while somebody weighs your stuff and then figure it all out. 0.99

00:00:51.000 You do it all from your house.

00:00:53.000 Super easy.

00:00:54.000 And people that are operating small businesses, like if you buy any of the DeathSquad.tv t-shirts, this is how Brian sends them.

00:01:02.000 There's no other way to do it.

00:01:03.000 I mean if you have any like a small business or even if you're just like getting into something like an online store like Etsy or something when you want to sell like some artwork or anything that you're shipping stuff out, there's no reason to go to the post office nowadays. 0.98

00:01:15.000 Or if you're some freak bitch who wants to sell panties. 1.00

00:01:18.000 Right. 1.00

00:01:19.000 You don't want to go to the post office and start weighing panties. 0.85

00:01:23.000 What you want to do is how many boys are you sending panties to? 1.00

00:01:26.000 Figure this shit out. 1.00

00:01:28.000 That could be a businessman. 1.00

00:01:30.000 I guarantee you there's money in that because Duncan knew a girl who would wear socks and stuff. 0.96

00:01:34.000 They would want her to get her feet stinky and then she would send them dirty socks. 1.00

00:01:37.000 Dirty stench? 0.93

00:01:38.000 Wasn't her name like Dirty Stench? 1.00

00:01:39.000 I don't know.

00:01:40.000 She had some sort of an unfortunate name that she called herself but that was like her thing.

00:01:44.000 She would get paid to wear underwear for like several days in a row. 0.92

00:01:49.000 She was the first person that I ever knew actually did that.

00:01:52.000 Not yet. 0.99

00:01:52.000 Not only she did, she fucking did it legit. 0.99

00:01:54.000 Like, if they told her she had to wear socks for like three days, she would wear socks for three days. 0.98

00:01:58.000 And she wouldn't let a guy do it.

00:02:00.000 Like, no, you can't wear my socks.

00:02:01.000 Like, it has to be my stinky feet.

00:02:03.000 If there had to be like a tan stain at least.

00:02:05.000 Maybe the dude knows. 0.99

00:02:06.000 Maybe you can smell it and you're like, there's no way a chick's feet smell this fucking bad. 1.00

00:02:10.000 I'm not beating off to a dude's stinky feet, goddammit. 0.99

00:02:14.000 That sounds like somebody who would know Duncan. 0.96

00:02:17.000 Maybe, yeah.

00:02:18.000 Yeah, that does sound like someone who would know Duncan A, and there might be something to that.

00:02:23.000 It might be if you want to keep an honest foot stinky socks business, you got to do the right thing.

00:02:28.000 Yeah, that was going through a phase of his life, I think, also, that he was hanging out with that girl.

00:02:32.000 Well, yes.

00:02:33.000 This is getting very personal.

00:02:37.000 If you go to stamps.com and click on, there's a little microphone in the upper right-hand corner, enter in the code word JRE, and you get this sweet deal where they give you a free digital scale, they give you $55 in postal coupons.

00:02:56.000 It's a sweet deal.

00:02:57.000 And you can save a lot of money, too, up to 80% compared to a meter.

00:03:03.000 That's according to them.

00:03:04.000 I've done no research.

00:03:06.000 And that scale is pretty badass.

00:03:07.000 You just hook it up to your computer. 0.99

00:03:08.000 And don't use it for pot, you fucks. 1.00

00:03:10.000 This is for sending shit through the mail. 1.00

00:03:13.000 And I advise you to not send pot through the mail. 1.00

00:03:16.000 I think that's really dangerous.

00:03:18.000 That's super illegal.

00:03:19.000 Yeah, isn't that funny? 0.99

00:03:20.000 If you carry it in your ass, it's less illegal than if you send it across state lines. 1.00

00:03:26.000 If you stuff a half a pound of weed up your ass, they'll at least be impressed. 1.00

00:03:31.000 Half a pound? 1.00

00:03:32.000 Yeah.

00:03:32.000 But if you stuff...

00:03:34.000 You know, a teddy bear filled with weed. 1.00

00:03:37.000 My ass is enormous. 1.00

00:03:38.000 My ass is a broad capacity. 1.00

00:03:42.000 The only person I've ever seen that brags about how big their ass is, the inside of their ass, is Dana D'Armond. 1.00

00:03:48.000 She's talking about how big her butt is because she fits cat toys up there. 1.00

00:03:52.000 Yeah, it's weird. 0.50

00:03:53.000 Some of those gaping videos, when you can see shadows on the wall, it's pretty bad.

00:03:57.000 There's no need for that gaping stuff.

00:03:59.000 That's the society gone wrong.

00:04:00.000 When they look back at us in the future, the way we look at Rome and the vomitoriums and all the diddling of the young people. 1.00

00:04:08.000 They're going to look at us and gaping, going, what the fuck? 0.98

00:04:11.000 Because it won't really represent what a small percentage of the population actually enjoys those videos. 0.99

00:04:16.000 Just the fact that they exist, it's evidence enough that we've gone mad.

00:04:22.000 We've gone completely mad. 1.00

00:04:23.000 We're spitting inside girls' assholes. 1.00

00:04:25.000 We're opening them up and spitting in there. 1.00

00:04:27.000 And that's a genre in pornography. 1.00

00:04:30.000 It's not like a one-time thing, like somebody went...

00:04:32.000 And then I lost my mind, man. 0.99

00:04:35.000 I opened up her butt and I spit in there. 1.00

00:04:36.000 I don't even know what the fuck I was doing. 1.00

00:04:38.000 Dude, don't do that again. 0.99

00:04:39.000 I mean, that's so disrespectful.

00:04:41.000 How do you think she feels?

00:04:41.000 I don't know.

00:04:42.000 I don't know what the fuck happened. 0.99

00:04:43.000 I gotta stop smoking meth. 1.00

00:04:45.000 But instead, no, it's a fucking genre. 0.99

00:04:48.000 How many videos are there? 0.99

00:04:51.000 I remember when, like a long time ago, I saw on porn, like my first time, that somebody's spitting on the crotch before putting that, you know, using like some spit lube.

00:04:59.000 And I actually did it on Katie. 0.94

00:05:01.000 I spit right on the crotch. 0.98

00:05:01.000 Don't say names. 0.98

00:05:03.000 Jesus Christ.

00:05:04.000 No gal wants that information out there. 1.00

00:05:06.000 I spit it on her crotch. 1.00

00:05:07.000 She's like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:05:08.000 Fuck! 1.00

00:05:08.000 And she got pissed off and then she ran to the bathroom and washed her and then didn't want to have sex. 1.00

00:05:12.000 It was totally not horny at all. 1.00

00:05:14.000 You fucked up. 1.00

00:05:15.000 I wonder why. 1.00

00:05:17.000 I had a little chest cold so it might have something to do with it.

00:05:19.000 Oh! 0.60

00:05:21.000 How dare you.

00:05:23.000 Stamps.com.

00:05:24.000 Code word JRE. Save yourself some money.

00:05:27.000 That's how you do a commercial, bitch. 1.00

00:05:29.000 Alright? 1.00

00:05:33.000 That's the only way I know.

00:05:34.000 We're also brought to you by Audible.com.

00:05:36.000 If you go to Audible.com forward slash Joe, you can get one free audio book and 30 free days of Audible service.

00:05:45.000 If you've never used Audible before, it's a really fucking sweet service for looking for anything.

00:05:52.000 And people have said this to me like some guy said to me on Twitter. 0.75

00:05:55.000 You shouldn't...

00:05:56.000 Advertise that people listen to audiobooks when they're stuck in traffic because that's what we use your podcast for.

00:06:04.000 You're competing against yourself. 0.99

00:06:05.000 Do you know how many fucking people there are out there? 1.00

00:06:08.000 Do you know how many fucking people there are? 1.00

00:06:11.000 It's madness. 1.00

00:06:14.000 Water's going to go where it's supposed to go.

00:06:16.000 It all gets the attention it deserves. 1.00

00:06:19.000 If you want to read a fucking book on your transit, you should not be listening to me. 0.99

00:06:24.000 If you decided, you know, I'm going to use this time to educate myself, well, I don't fit into that plan. 0.99

00:06:30.000 So I suggest, if that's your mean, then you do use Audible instead of this podcast.

00:06:35.000 How about them apples?

00:06:37.000 I think audiobooks are some of the coolest things that people have ever invented if you're a commuter.

00:06:42.000 You know, because it makes flying on a plane, which is, you know, the same thing as podcasts do.

00:06:47.000 And in fact, a lot of podcasts, one that I listen to a lot, Dan Carlin's Hardcore History, you can get that on Audible.com.

00:06:54.000 You can also get over 100,000 different books.

00:06:57.000 I mean, just an amazing collection of books.

00:07:00.000 As well as shows, old radio shit, podcasts, stand-up comedy specials, just the Opie and Anthony show. 0.55

00:07:10.000 Yeah, that's best. 0.93

00:07:10.000 It's great. 0.93

00:07:11.000 It's a beautiful service.

00:07:12.000 And like I said, if you go to audible.com forward slash Joe, you can try Audible free for 30 days and you can get one free audio book.

00:07:21.000 You know what's cool about it is like if you listen to a lot of podcasts, and you instead just start listening to some audiobooks, when you're done listening to an audiobook, you can say, I just read a book.

00:07:31.000 You know what I mean?

00:07:31.000 Like when you listen to a podcast, you're just like, yeah, I listen to a podcast, and I'm like, so, I have a radio.

00:07:35.000 Well, I told you I'm fucking in love with that Dan Carlin's Hardcore History podcast, and even though you can't say you read a book after you get through one of those, it's way better than reading a book.

00:07:45.000 It's super educational. 0.75

00:07:47.000 You can't quantify it like you can a book.

00:07:49.000 But that podcast is not just inspirational.

00:07:51.000 That guy is a master storyteller. 0.95

00:07:54.000 So they're fucking fascinating stories, man. 0.97

00:07:57.000 It's really good stuff. 0.96

00:07:58.000 Ben is awesome.

00:07:59.000 And the thing about him is that he always says, oh, I'm not really a historian.

00:08:04.000 He's way better than any historian because he can actually tell a story.

00:08:08.000 And he has no dog in the game.

00:08:10.000 He's there to try to discern the facts as clear as possible. 0.96

00:08:14.000 He gives several different accounts of each situation as it's been deciphered, like what people agree on, as far as numbers and how many killed and shit like that.

00:08:24.000 Really, really, really, really interesting stuff, man.

00:08:28.000 Audible.com.

00:08:29.000 Go check it out.

00:08:30.000 You can get Dan Carlin's Hardcore History.

00:08:32.000 Do you have any of your books?

00:08:33.000 Do you have one on Audible yet?

00:08:34.000 You know what?

00:08:35.000 No.

00:08:35.000 It pisses me off.

00:08:36.000 You're too sexy.

00:08:36.000 Your voice is too sexy.

00:08:38.000 That's what it is. 0.98

00:08:39.000 It caused all the female population of Earth to turn lesbian since they cannot possibly be satisfied by another man. 1.00

00:08:45.000 And all men would be very sad. 0.99

00:08:46.000 I can't do that.

00:08:47.000 Or they can have men agree to only make love to them while they're wearing headphones listening to your voice. 1.00

00:08:53.000 That's right.

00:08:53.000 That's how it's...

00:08:55.000 Well, we need to get you to do one of those because that would be badass.

00:08:59.000 Maybe you can just do it.

00:09:01.000 I mean, didn't Scott Sigler do that?

00:09:04.000 Isn't that how he started out?

00:09:06.000 Was it Scott Sigler who had all the podcasts that he released with all of his books, the author?

00:09:12.000 Yeah, I mean, that guy became really popular by just releasing his books in podcast form.

00:09:19.000 He did it on his own?

00:09:20.000 Yeah, he did it on his own.

00:09:22.000 A go-getter dude.

00:09:24.000 He just was unhappy with the publishing world, trying to deal with people.

00:09:29.000 Maybe he had a bad experience.

00:09:30.000 You could easily have a bad experience.

00:09:32.000 Just the wrong publisher, the wrong people, the people with the wrong ideas of where you should go.

00:09:41.000 Anyway, go check it out.

00:09:43.000 We're also brought to you by Onnit.com. 0.98

00:09:45.000 If you haven't been to Onnit lately, we added a lot of shit. 0.94

00:09:49.000 Onnit basically started off selling... 0.97

00:09:59.000 It's a real trippy thing. 0.99

00:10:02.000 They actually grow these mushrooms on fucking caterpillars. 0.99

00:10:04.000 It's very strange stuff. 0.99

00:10:06.000 Yeah, apparently the story is, the lore is that high altitude herding populations.

00:10:14.000 They noticed that their cows, their cattle were more active when they were eating this mushroom.

00:10:18.000 So they tried to figure out how to grow it and how to process it in a commercial way.

00:10:24.000 And it's also related to that mushroom that fucks with ants, turns them into zombies.

00:10:30.000 That is one of the weirdest parasite relationships in the animal world.

00:10:37.000 How does it work?

00:10:39.000 The cordyceps is a different strain, the cordyceps mushroom, gets inside of the ant, infects the ant, and when the other ants know it's infected, they take him way out of town.

00:10:49.000 They're like, we've got to get him the fuck out of here, because they know he becomes a bomb.

00:10:52.000 Oh yeah. 0.99

00:10:53.000 So they have to take him out of town and then when they leave him there, he explodes and sends mushroom spores into the air, which are like some invaders of the body snatchers type shit.

00:11:04.000 It just lands on other ants, gets into them, infects them, takes them over, and then the same thing.

00:11:10.000 They explode and become mushroom bombs.

00:11:14.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:11:16.000 Yeah, what the fuck? 0.99

00:11:17.000 Dude, by the way, have you seen this part on its website? 0.99

00:11:20.000 What is it?

00:11:21.000 It's all about lucid dreaming.

00:11:22.000 It's one of the most amazing websites I've ever been to.

00:11:25.000 You just scroll down, and it's all about lucid dreaming, and there's these cool visuals that pop up, and then there's one point where the whole space starts spinning around.

00:11:33.000 Well, listen, man.

00:11:34.000 Lucid dreaming.

00:11:35.000 I've had lucid dreaming experiences before, but I've never had them as strong as I've had them before taking AlphaBrain.

00:11:42.000 That's a fact.

00:11:43.000 And I think it's not just alfabrine.

00:11:45.000 I think if you want to try, I believe choline is one of the big ones responsible for it.

00:11:50.000 A lot of people have reported similar results.

00:11:54.000 And I think that when you take things that are psychoactive like that, like nootropics at night, I think it has a pretty profound effect on your dream state.

00:12:06.000 A lot of people have reported it. 0.97

00:12:08.000 I've always said that it's one of the best pieces of evidence that the efficacy of AlphaBrain is what the fuck it does to your dreams.

00:12:17.000 It's hard to tell whether or not something's giving you an edge, like whether your brain is performing faster or slower, because it's all so subjective. 0.92

00:12:24.000 It varies with how much sleep you've had or how annoyed you are.

00:12:28.000 It varies with so much, but what AlphaBrain provides is all the nutrients, all the building blocks. 1.00

00:12:36.000 What are you writing, fuckhead? 0.99

00:12:37.000 I'm writing my dreams, man. 1.00

00:12:39.000 I was totally fucking my cuz. 0.97

00:12:42.000 Are you putting that up online? 1.00

00:12:44.000 Fuck my cuz? 1.00

00:12:45.000 So what you're doing is you're putting in a fake comment while we're doing a show. 1.00

00:12:50.000 You're putting in a fake comment, which you shouldn't do anyway.

00:12:54.000 This website, whoever made this website, Joe, you need to have them make your website because this is...

00:12:59.000 Like, breakthrough website development.

00:13:01.000 Really?

00:13:02.000 This is amazing.

00:13:03.000 This is fun.

00:13:04.000 What's so amazing?

00:13:05.000 Did you draw pictures?

00:13:06.000 No, like, look at that.

00:13:07.000 Did you just see that thing I was scrolling through?

00:13:09.000 That's so cool.

00:13:11.000 Yeah, it's pretty interesting. 1.00

00:13:12.000 You're drawing a dick. 1.00

00:13:16.000 I put this on... 1.00

00:13:17.000 Dude, check out this.

00:13:19.000 We also...

00:13:19.000 My little circumcision scars.

00:13:21.000 That's a fucking monster with circumcision scars. 1.00

00:13:23.000 Someone's trying to stab your dick. 1.00

00:13:25.000 One hair. 1.00

00:13:26.000 Okay, stop.

00:13:28.000 We also have kettlebells, battle ropes, all sorts of strength and fitness equipment that we sell there now.

00:13:33.000 If you use the code name ROGAN, you'll save 10% off any and all supplements. 0.99

00:13:38.000 So that's it, you fucks. 0.96

00:13:40.000 Did you see that Yahoo News brought up on it today? 0.99

00:13:43.000 No, what did they say?

00:13:44.000 They did this article about Dwayne Ludwig, and he was saying how he reviews the fight tapes naturally, then he smokes weed, and then instead he'll have a review of the fight tapes when he's taking Alpha Brain.

00:13:58.000 And they were saying basically how he feels like each state of consciousness that he reviews the fight tape in gives him a little bit different info from the one before.

00:14:08.000 And of course, Yahoo News being cynical and whatever, they're like, yeah, this product that they say makes you smarter and more acute, yeah, whatever.

00:14:17.000 It's even very funny in your voice. 0.95

00:14:19.000 A shitty paraphrase with your accent. 0.99

00:14:21.000 It's like, Jesus Christ. 0.99

00:14:24.000 What a strange conversation. 1.00

00:14:25.000 Yeah, you know, things like Alphabrain, of course, anything that claims to make you smarter, it sounds stupid. 0.99

00:14:31.000 I mean, ironically, but... 0.96

00:14:34.000 This has absolutely been proven.

00:14:35.000 There's certain nutrients that enhance the way your brain functions.

00:14:38.000 I've tried a bunch of different ones.

00:14:40.000 I can't say enough. 1.00

00:14:41.000 I don't give a fuck if you buy this. 0.99

00:14:44.000 This is my best way to try to describe anything that we sell on it. 1.00

00:14:50.000 It's all shit I buy. 1.00

00:14:51.000 It's all shit I would buy. 1.00

00:14:52.000 It's all shit that I endorse because I've tried and I've had a positive benefit from it. 1.00

00:14:57.000 All the nootropics, the fitness supplements, all the food like hemp forest protein powder. 1.00

00:15:03.000 It's all shit that I would use. 0.99

00:15:05.000 It's all great stuff. 1.00

00:15:06.000 We try to give you the best shit we can find at reasonable prices. 0.91

00:15:10.000 And again, if you use a code name ROGAN, you save 10% off any supplements. 1.00

00:15:14.000 And you can fly, bitch. 1.00

00:15:16.000 Yeah, I gotta check into this lucid dream. 1.00

00:15:18.000 Solve problems.

00:15:20.000 Wow, we're starting a cult.

00:15:23.000 Had to be done.

00:15:24.000 Had to be done.

00:15:26.000 There was not enough cults out there that were making any sense.

00:15:28.000 It can be done correctly, folks.

00:15:30.000 Okay.

00:15:31.000 Onnit.com, codename Rogan. 1.00

00:15:33.000 And go fuck yourself. 1.00

00:15:35.000 Alright, Daniele Bolelli is here. 1.00

00:15:37.000 And just the name, the way it rolls off the tongue, it makes for stimulating conversation.

00:15:41.000 You're one of the three people in the United States who can actually pronounce it.

00:15:44.000 I'm moved every time.

00:15:46.000 Please, my friend.

00:15:47.000 It's easy.

00:15:48.000 I'm a professional talker.

00:15:51.000 Hit it, son.

00:15:52.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:15:54.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night.

00:15:57.000 All day.

00:15:59.000 Dan Yali Boleli, my man.

00:16:03.000 Pleasure to be back.

00:16:07.000 Hey, there we go.

00:16:09.000 That sound of the Italian language, man. 1.00

00:16:13.000 The Italians really figured out how to make shit sound good. 1.00

00:16:16.000 Like, as they were saying it. 1.00

00:16:17.000 Like, I was at Disneyland today, and there was a couple that was talking next to us that was, like, clearly Italian.

00:16:23.000 Like, they were...

00:16:24.000 They're singing, like, a little song.

00:16:29.000 Like, it sounds good.

00:16:30.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:31.000 It's awesome because when I think about it, I've been here 20 years and I still speak like a fob, but because it's Italian fob, then it's like, ooh, exotic European.

00:16:40.000 It's cool.

00:16:40.000 Suddenly doors open for me.

00:16:42.000 Whereas if I was Bulgarian or some shit, I would be just… We would be not trusting you. 1.00

00:16:47.000 What the fuck is your problem? 1.00

00:16:48.000 Learn how to speak English right already. 1.00

00:16:49.000 You sound like a beautiful classicist or something.

00:16:52.000 Some dude from a bygone time when men were elegant. 0.99

00:16:57.000 And the number of times that I say something in the classroom and I realize my students are just looking at each other like, what the fuck did you just say? 0.94

00:17:04.000 Like, I did this forever. 0.95

00:17:06.000 Nobody ever told me anything.

00:17:08.000 I always use the word, you know, when I say sovereignty, I used to say sovereignty.

00:17:14.000 Oh no, really?

00:17:15.000 I never heard it.

00:17:16.000 I only read it.

00:17:17.000 So I was like, it must be sovereignity.

00:17:19.000 Sound about right.

00:17:20.000 So I used it over and over again.

00:17:22.000 Nobody ever said anything, right? 0.96

00:17:24.000 So clearly nobody understood shit about what I was saying. 0.88

00:17:26.000 And one day, a girl was like, are you trying to say sovereignity? 0.97

00:17:29.000 I was like, yeah, sovereignity, as I was saying. 0.99

00:17:33.000 It's fucking painful, man. 0.96

00:17:35.000 That's interesting when you're learning a language and you've never said words that are fairly common read. 0.99

00:17:42.000 Like Sovereignty, like I have a few, there's a few that occasionally, like I don't, I can't think of any off the cuff, but I know there's some where I've only read them.

00:17:50.000 I've never said them.

00:17:51.000 And then when someone says them, I'm like, which one is that?

00:17:53.000 Is that the silent G one? 1.00

00:17:55.000 Huh.

00:17:56.000 Is that how it sounds?

00:17:57.000 Wow.

00:17:58.000 There's a few like, voila.

00:18:01.000 I remember I read it off a script.

00:18:03.000 I was like, viola.

00:18:07.000 It's V-O-I-L-A. French. 1.00

00:18:09.000 French is not right in Boston. 1.00

00:18:11.000 Yeah, but somehow or another it is in English scripts and stuff now.

00:18:15.000 So sometimes I had to say it on a TV show.

00:18:17.000 I didn't know.

00:18:18.000 And I was like, oh, it's viola.

00:18:20.000 I thought it was a W. Travelocity.

00:18:23.000 I always get that messed up.

00:18:24.000 Velocity.

00:18:24.000 No, that's fairly simple.

00:18:26.000 You should go to the doctor.

00:18:28.000 But Italian, man, what is it about the Italian culture?

00:18:36.000 Because Italians are known for, first of all, very delicious foods.

00:18:42.000 Delicious, rich, fatty, incredibly good food.

00:18:47.000 Great wine.

00:18:48.000 I know for great wine.

00:18:49.000 Art.

00:18:50.000 And for being very passionate.

00:18:52.000 And they all have that crazy way of talking.

00:18:56.000 It's like an art to even communicating.

00:19:01.000 When I go back, I have to retrain myself.

00:19:05.000 First, nobody ever finishes a conversation and let the other person begin to speak.

00:19:10.000 You're constantly going to interrupt each other.

00:19:12.000 So it's like, that's just the norm.

00:19:14.000 You're not used to it anymore.

00:19:16.000 So you're like, oh, I guess it's your turn.

00:19:18.000 That is like, there's no such a thing.

00:19:19.000 It's no your turn, my turn.

00:19:21.000 And then you literally see people who begin to talk, taking this gigantic deep breath.

00:19:34.000 I got this photo on my wall.

00:19:43.000 It's an American girl in Italy.

00:19:46.000 It's from, like, 1950-something. 0.99

00:19:48.000 And this chick is walking down the street, and these dudes are grabbing their dicks. 1.00

00:19:52.000 It's like... 0.98

00:19:54.000 I didn't expect that people did that in 1950. I thought that was more of a Jersey Shore type thing.

00:20:01.000 More of a more recent thing.

00:20:03.000 But no, no, no.

00:20:04.000 Creepy dudes have been around since the beginning of time.

00:20:08.000 Since dudes were created.

00:20:09.000 This picture from Italy in 1950-something.

00:20:14.000 I heard somewhere they were saying, particularly northern Europeans, they do many things right, but definitely the romance department is not the one that they are most renowned for.

00:20:23.000 No?

00:20:24.000 They're not known for romance?

00:20:25.000 Not exactly.

00:20:26.000 So a lot of the women come down for vacation in Italy to hook up for random summer flings with the exotic, romantic Italian story, and then they go back to have their regular life. 0.99

00:20:37.000 So who would be the boring dudes from where?

00:20:41.000 Boring is a bad word and I'm going to have lots of people...

00:20:43.000 Too flat.

00:20:44.000 But, you know, they get the reputation for being a little bit on their end.

00:20:47.000 Is that like Norway?

00:20:48.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:20:49.000 Norway, Sweden, even Germany.

00:20:51.000 Yeah.

00:20:51.000 That's the rap.

00:20:52.000 Cold people that are very disciplined but might not be so good at eating pussy. 1.00

00:20:58.000 Basically, they are going to make awesome cars. 0.99

00:21:01.000 They are going to run the economy great.

00:21:03.000 They are going to do all the things that Italian can't even begin to know where to start. 1.00

00:21:06.000 No, they do the cars okay, but definitely not the economy part.

00:21:10.000 But when it comes to romance, yeah, not quite...

00:21:13.000 That muscle hasn't been...

00:21:14.000 Yeah, man. 0.98

00:21:15.000 In order to have a certain amount of fun in a conversation, there has to be that I don't give a fuck element. 0.99

00:21:20.000 And there's very few really conservative people that know how to turn that part on. 0.98

00:21:25.000 Right. 1.00

00:21:25.000 They never know how to not give a fuck. 1.00

00:21:27.000 They never know when it's important to not give a fuck. 1.00

00:21:30.000 But it's often important to not give a fuck. 1.00

00:21:32.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:21:32.000 For fun, for passion, for partying, for, you know, just to laugh with your friends. 0.99

00:21:38.000 And if you can't do that, if you can't let that go, you're tightly knit and figuring out how to fucking use gears and levers in order to make your car work better.

00:21:46.000 That's old. 0.91

00:21:47.000 The time is work.

00:21:48.000 You know, after a while, man.

00:21:50.000 Yeah, even the language.

00:21:51.000 I mean, you try to say something sweet and lovable in German.

00:21:55.000 Yeah.

00:21:57.000 That was one of the craziest things about Hitler's speech. 0.99

00:21:59.000 It wasn't just what he was saying was fucked up. 0.99

00:22:02.000 Right. 1.00

00:22:02.000 It was that crazy ass language he was saying it in. 1.00

00:22:05.000 This like really alien, angry, you know, to be an American in the 1940s, like when all this was going on. 0.95

00:22:13.000 And to see that guy, I guess they saw him in movie theaters, right?

00:22:16.000 That's how they would see that? 0.99

00:22:18.000 See that guy screaming at the top of his lungs, that crazy fucking mustache in that weird language that you didn't understand? 1.00

00:22:26.000 That had to be goddamn terrifying. 0.99

00:22:28.000 Seriously, man, because you see the videos and you see these Thousands of people standing, totally disciplined, listening, complete silence to the guy going crazy. 0.96

00:22:37.000 And then when you finish the sentence, they all jump up with one shout.

00:22:41.000 It's insane.

00:22:42.000 It's freaky.

00:22:43.000 It's insane.

00:22:44.000 The men that get to that position, that crazy position where they can talk a whole gang of people into doing something really, really bad.

00:22:53.000 And everybody is disciplined and everybody is along with them.

00:22:56.000 Those are some of the scariest moments in all of history.

00:22:59.000 Yeah, seriously.

00:23:01.000 Group or leader with nefarious intentions is super charismatic, super driven, and super insane.

00:23:10.000 All together and in control.

00:23:12.000 That's the worst possible.

00:23:14.000 Just coming over here, I was listening to a Dan Carlin's episode, to the latest Hardcore History, and he was going off about this story about what was happening in Germany in the 1500s.

00:23:23.000 Yes.

00:23:24.000 That's like the trippiest, weirdest story ever.

00:23:27.000 It's amazing.

00:23:28.000 Yeah, it's...

00:23:29.000 Yeah, I guess it's the origins of Lutherism, and what he's talking about was, I did not know this, and this is one of the amazing things about that podcast, I did not know that most people couldn't read the Bible as recently as 1500. Death penalty offence in most countries.

00:23:48.000 If you owned your own Bible, you read the Bible by yourself, not in Latin, through the priest, but instead you had your own thing, you could be put to death. 0.95

00:23:57.000 That's insane!

00:23:58.000 Because if you read it on your own, you make weird ideas and then you would water down the truth and misconstrue God's Word.

00:24:06.000 That's not that long ago.

00:24:07.000 No.

00:24:09.000 I mean, that's not even a thousand years ago.

00:24:12.000 Yeah.

00:24:12.000 That's so crazy.

00:24:13.000 But that's the thing that makes you wonder about human beings, that the vast majority of human beings just go with the program of whatever they are taught in those times.

00:24:21.000 And when you look at that, like, even if you look back 70 years and you look at racism in the United States, anybody who went along with the norm of what was typical in American society 70 years ago would be seen as, like...

00:24:33.000 batshit crazy today.

00:24:35.000 And yet, back then, there were plenty of people against it, but they were the minority. 1.00

00:24:41.000 The majority of people were like, yeah, of course, those damn people of color. 1.00

00:24:47.000 It's weird. 1.00

00:24:48.000 It's like, people are Donkeys being trained with the carrot and the stick since they are born. 1.00

00:24:53.000 They don't question shit. 1.00

00:24:55.000 Well, it's super easy for people to believe some crazy shit as long as the people around you believe crazy shit as well. 1.00

00:25:02.000 Exactly. 1.00

00:25:02.000 We have a real problem like that where we can get sucked into our atmosphere. 1.00

00:25:08.000 Especially if you are an easily led person or a person who doesn't have a really fully formed opinion of the world.

00:25:17.000 I mean, that's one of the things they do to people when they torture them.

00:25:20.000 They take away your view of the world.

00:25:22.000 They take away your ability to look at things rationally.

00:25:25.000 And then when they start talking to you, it's like, now they're your friends.

00:25:29.000 That's Stockholm Syndrome, right?

00:25:31.000 When they kidnap people.

00:25:32.000 The kidnapper becomes someone who you love.

00:25:34.000 You give in.

00:25:35.000 You relent.

00:25:37.000 And that's why in that Homeland Show, that concept works. 0.67

00:25:42.000 That they kidnap these guys and turn them into suicide bomb, these American GIs. 0.99

00:25:47.000 Which is a pretty creepy fucking premise and scary premise. 0.99

00:25:51.000 But the idea is that people change if you change their environment. 0.99

00:25:57.000 Big time.

00:25:59.000 That's why, to me, the healthiest thing anybody can do about anything is question everything you're taught. 0.99

00:26:05.000 Not because you're, like, a pain in the ass teenager who just want to be different for the hell of being different. 0.97

00:26:10.000 Just because, precisely, if you value something, you should question it. 0.98

00:26:15.000 It's the same thing as, like, when you say on-it products.

00:26:19.000 You try them.

00:26:20.000 You check it out for yourself.

00:26:21.000 If it works, you go for it.

00:26:22.000 If it doesn't, you don't.

00:26:23.000 It has to be by direct experience. 0.97

00:26:25.000 Otherwise, if you start going by the shit that other people tell you, And it's about belief and going on fate almost. 0.99

00:26:33.000 How the fuck do you know anyway? 0.99

00:26:35.000 Well, the real problem with that is that should be the way we do it. 0.98

00:26:38.000 We should go on other people. 0.97

00:26:40.000 The problem is there's too many dummies out there. 0.99

00:26:43.000 There's too many people out there that don't know what the fuck is going on in their own life and they can't give you advice and they can't give you an honest assessment whether something works or doesn't work is good or is not good. 0.99

00:26:54.000 But that should be the way we go on it. 0.88

00:26:55.000 And it should be that we can completely trust everybody.

00:27:00.000 You know, if we could figure out how to eliminate deception...

00:27:04.000 That would be one of the best things ever for the human race.

00:27:08.000 If we could figure out how to eliminate the need to steal and deception.

00:27:13.000 Just those two things alone.

00:27:15.000 Good luck with that.

00:27:16.000 I know.

00:27:17.000 Earn what you deserve.

00:27:19.000 Earn what you deserve.

00:27:20.000 And don't deceive to get there.

00:27:22.000 Don't lie.

00:27:24.000 Whether it's in business or in your personal life, your friendships.

00:27:29.000 And when we figure that out, that's going to be gigantic.

00:27:33.000 Because it's really, that's one of the beauties when people start talking about psychedelics helping people.

00:27:38.000 One of the beautiful things is that it eliminates the ego. 1.00

00:27:42.000 And the ego is the one that's locking you into all that stupid shit. 1.00

00:27:46.000 The ego is locking you into your past experiences. 1.00

00:27:51.000 The ego is locking you into your idea of who you are. 0.99

00:27:55.000 That's the kind of shit that allows people to do creepy things. 0.99

00:27:58.000 That's what allows people to steal and deceive and use trickery. 1.00

00:28:05.000 That's someone who's like, your ego's allowing you to do that.

00:28:09.000 Your sense of humanity and justice.

00:28:12.000 How would you want the world to behave?

00:28:14.000 What if everyone was like that?

00:28:15.000 By doing it yourself, are you giving the green light for everyone to just go straight pirate?

00:28:20.000 Do you know how hard human beings have worked for so fucking long to get ourselves to a position where We can walk down the street in almost every city in the country and be reasonably safe when you're driving and you can be reasonably safe, despite the fact that you're dealing with millions and millions and millions of people. 0.99

00:28:36.000 When you go rogue, you cunt up this whole awesome system that everybody's been busting their ass. 0.99

00:28:42.000 Big time. 0.99

00:28:43.000 To me, it's weird because my relationship with the law, I guess, is...

00:28:47.000 The law.

00:28:48.000 That's the law for folks.

00:28:50.000 Thanks for the translation.

00:28:51.000 Very good.

00:28:52.000 The law, as I was saying, the... 0.98

00:28:54.000 Man, there's so many fucking words I can say, but in any case... 0.93

00:29:01.000 There are a lot of laws I break on a fairly regular basis, but my, I guess, moral standpoint on that is anything I do, whether legal or illegal, the end result can't be hurting another human being. 0.99

00:29:16.000 If anybody walks home crying because of something I did, it's fucked up. 0.90

00:29:20.000 If I'm breaking laws that don't really hurt another human being, there's not one person who's going to shed a tear over it, then I have no problem with it, you know? 0.94

00:29:28.000 Well, I agree with that if you're running a red light at 3 in the morning when there's no one around.

00:29:33.000 I agree with that.

00:29:34.000 But I think even if certain laws...

00:29:45.000 Right.

00:29:46.000 Right.

00:29:48.000 Right. 1.00

00:30:00.000 Regular people see the type of shit that goes on on Wall Street. 1.00

00:30:03.000 They see, like, those houses on the Hamptons on those TV shows and those crazy places in Greenwich, Connecticut, where these people have fucking airports in their backyard and helicopter landing pads in the middle of their... 1.00

00:30:17.000 Polo field. 0.97

00:30:18.000 It's insane money.

00:30:19.000 You're talking about people who have hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars, so many of them.

00:30:24.000 And what do they offer?

00:30:25.000 What do they do?

00:30:26.000 Well, they're in the financial business.

00:30:28.000 They move numbers around.

00:30:30.000 They figure out a way to extract money from the system.

00:30:32.000 That's what they do.

00:30:33.000 They get really good at extracting money from the system.

00:30:36.000 And the best piece of evidence is what's in front of them.

00:30:38.000 Right.

00:30:38.000 What exactly do you do?

00:30:40.000 You move numbers, you buy, you sell, you do this, you do that. 0.96

00:30:43.000 How the fuck have you acquired the amount of wealth that you need to own a gigantic compound in Greenwich, Connecticut? 0.98

00:30:50.000 What benefit have you given? 0.99

00:30:52.000 What have you done there?

00:30:54.000 What have you done?

00:30:54.000 You've extracted money from the system.

00:30:56.000 That's what you've done. 0.99

00:30:57.000 Whether it's legal or illegal, it's the same shit because you know the laws that are in place are only in place because somebody bribed somebody. 0.99

00:31:04.000 And that's a fact. 0.99

00:31:06.000 Somebody used special interest money to make something happen somewhere that somebody liked and somebody passed that law and got things through.

00:31:13.000 And that's how the system is set up the way it is.

00:31:16.000 That's why.

00:31:16.000 I mean, if you're going to be in the game anyway, then I have no problem breaking certain laws, but I don't break my own laws.

00:31:22.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:31:22.000 Social laws, fuck it. 0.99

00:31:24.000 Whatever. 1.00

00:31:24.000 As long as... 1.00

00:31:25.000 The problem is, when people...

00:31:28.000 When people stop being goody-goody and go buy the book, they, at that point, they just go nuts, right? 0.99

00:31:39.000 So it's like, it's not just that they slightly break a few laws because those laws don't make sense, it's they go all out and there's a rape and pillage and whatever the fuck. 0.99

00:31:47.000 Or they are these goody-goody freaks who are... 0.99

00:31:51.000 Both of them, I mean, I prefer the one that's not going to shoot you at 3am, but at the end of the day, they both are stuck in this dogmatic view of the world about how it's supposed to be.

00:32:00.000 And to me, once you break laws, you have to be, there's a Bob Dylan line in one of his songs that he says, to live outside the law, you must be honest, which sounds like a paradox, right? 0.99

00:32:09.000 Because he's saying, what the fuck do you mean? 0.94

00:32:11.000 Like, How are you going to be honest by breaking laws? 0.99

00:32:13.000 And it really is. 1.00

00:32:14.000 You need to be, otherwise you turn into some fucked up criminal. 0.99

00:32:18.000 But if you're going to do it, you need to have some pretty serious moral safeguard that you have on your own. 0.99

00:32:24.000 Then you don't need any god or cop to catch you to make you not do it. 0.98

00:32:29.000 You don't do certain things because they are fucked up, period. 0.97

00:32:31.000 And you're just not going to do it because it's what's inside of you. 0.96

00:32:33.000 That's a very romantic notion, man. 0.99

00:32:35.000 That's like a fucking Clint Eastwood movie. 0.99

00:32:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:32:37.000 You know, it is, right? 1.00

00:32:39.000 The romantic notion of the ethics of being an outlaw.

00:32:42.000 Outlaw ethics.

00:32:43.000 I realized a few days ago, I was, you know, like Facebook has those things like inspirational people or shit like that, where you're playing, you throw down some names.

00:32:51.000 I realized I put down Robin Hood twice. 0.98

00:32:54.000 I was like, shit, really? 0.99

00:32:55.000 Twice? 1.00

00:32:56.000 That important to me?

00:32:57.000 At different point in time, I'm like, okay, I see a pattern here.

00:33:01.000 I didn't know that Robin Hood was initially about poaching.

00:33:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:05.000 It's about food.

00:33:06.000 Right, because they didn't let the poor hunt.

00:33:08.000 They wouldn't let the poor hunt on the land.

00:33:10.000 So these poor, they had no money and no food, and they started shooting deer, and Robin Hood would shoot these deer and give them to poor people.

00:33:17.000 Yep. 1.00

00:33:20.000 People are such silly bitches. 1.00

00:33:22.000 The fact that kings ever worked, that that ever worked, that anybody was ever willing to, like, admit your grace, royalty, you know, that's one of the beautiful things about that, and I know it's a fantasy novel, but Game of Thrones is the way they communicate with each other, the way the royals, 0.99

00:33:38.000 like, have this secret guarded way of communicating with each other, but the actors are so good that it's like, The intention is very clear throughout everything, and they have this very proper way of handling and managing every situation.

00:33:50.000 It's so fascinating.

00:33:51.000 That show is awesome.

00:33:53.000 That royal blood thing is such a trip. 1.00

00:33:56.000 Again, I know that this is just a TV show that's bullshit. 0.99

00:33:59.000 They've got dragons and stuff. 0.99

00:34:01.000 It's not based on reality. 1.00

00:34:03.000 What the fuck? 0.99

00:34:04.000 No dragons, really? 0.99

00:34:05.000 That idealistic way of communicating did exist, at least in small places, in small pockets, for quite a while, right?

00:34:14.000 Absolutely, but the thing that, yeah, the thing that trips me out is not only how it evolves, that part is actually the cool part about it, is how it evolves that one day some guy shows up and say, you know what, I'm gonna be your king, you call me your majesty, and it's not because God wants it to be that way.

00:34:31.000 Right.

00:34:32.000 I mean, if I go do that around today, I probably don't have such success. 0.98

00:34:36.000 How the fuck did people go along with that? 0.98

00:34:38.000 It's just amazing. 0.99

00:34:39.000 I don't know.

00:34:40.000 Do you think that being a king and that kind of thing comes from the original alpha male primate behavior that chimps exhibit and monkeys exhibit where there's one that's always the alpha?

00:34:55.000 So almost like we have this weird broken need to have that one.

00:35:01.000 So we go looking for it, whether it's a king or a priest or whatever.

00:35:08.000 There's a one.

00:35:10.000 It could be that way.

00:35:11.000 It could also be, and one doesn't exclude the other, but it could also be like in hunting and gathering societies, which is how we have lived the majority of time we've been around, You have kind of this informal leadership because it's all like 20, 30 people who have known each other all their life.

00:35:25.000 So when there's a decision to be made, everybody turn to you because you are cool, you're smart.

00:35:30.000 Last time you gave us good advice.

00:35:31.000 You don't have real power.

00:35:33.000 But when you settle down and you start living in farming communities and the 30 people become 300 and then become 3,000, there's a lot more of those little inner fights.

00:35:44.000 You know, people within the tribe who start fighting each other.

00:35:47.000 And so you need the leader to come mediate because he's a cool guy.

00:35:50.000 But it stops being, oh, you're a nice guy.

00:35:53.000 You do that once in a while.

00:35:54.000 It becomes a full-time job.

00:35:56.000 And it becomes so important to keep the society together, make sure that people don't kill each other.

00:36:01.000 It's like, you know what?

00:36:02.000 Stop planting your fields.

00:36:03.000 Don't worry about that. 0.97

00:36:04.000 We understand that it's a pain in the ass for you to constantly be Having to worry about our little squabbles, but it's such an important job, we'll plant for you. 0.94

00:36:13.000 And suddenly there's a division of social classes, where suddenly somebody's a specialized job that emerged, maybe because they are cool people. 0.98

00:36:20.000 Maybe it starts out that people give them that power.

00:36:22.000 Hey, man, you're really smart.

00:36:24.000 You can always solve the problem.

00:36:26.000 And then, the bigger the society gets, the more the social stratification, the more that position becomes entrenched, solid, unquestionable. 0.99

00:36:35.000 It passes to their kids, kings, divine right, all of that shit. 0.99

00:36:39.000 But probably the way it starts, it starts in a mellow, normal way. 0.99

00:36:42.000 Like, oh, man, you're a cool guy.

00:36:44.000 You give good advice.

00:36:46.000 Please help us mediate, you know?

00:36:49.000 And the more the need for mediation increases, the more important the role becomes, until it becomes something above and separate from everybody else's.

00:37:01.000 And it's not leadership by charisma anymore. 0.98

00:37:03.000 It becomes leadership by birth or some shit. 0.76

00:37:06.000 By right, by divine right, by enforcement of the group of people that agrees with you, and then you divvy up power within the group. 0.98

00:37:13.000 Yep.

00:37:13.000 Yeah, it's madness.

00:37:15.000 It's amazing that it existed as the norm, though.

00:37:18.000 What's amazing is that it's not just that in one place a king was born.

00:37:22.000 Right.

00:37:22.000 And they had a king, and wow, this is crazy.

00:37:24.000 How'd they do a king thing?

00:37:25.000 Nobody else would agree with that.

00:37:26.000 No, everybody agreed to it.

00:37:28.000 They agreed to it all over the world.

00:37:29.000 Yep.

00:37:30.000 They agreed to the emperor in China.

00:37:32.000 They had an emperor in Japan.

00:37:34.000 Basically, everybody was rocking that king thing at one time.

00:37:38.000 That's amazing.

00:37:39.000 Yeah, because you can't have a big society without central authority.

00:37:42.000 It sounds awful to say because it sounds like you're defending some fascist model of the world where it's like, you need a strong...

00:37:48.000 Again, I'm not going to do my weird voice, but...

00:37:53.000 That's need for central authority to keep the society in check. 0.99

00:37:58.000 And unfortunately, when you put enough people together, It's not going to work unless you have some kind of central authority that can decide things.

00:38:07.000 That's the long chess game of the New World Order.

00:38:10.000 If you think about it, why would you ever want the world to be stable?

00:38:16.000 Because if the world was stable, you wouldn't need some sort of militarized government to protect you.

00:38:20.000 So the militarized government that's protecting you makes sure the world stays unstable.

00:38:25.000 It keeps the party rolling. 0.69

00:38:27.000 Because if everybody just agrees to settle the fuck down and stop killing each other, then you don't really need as many jets.

00:38:32.000 You don't have as many resources or as much resources going to war. 0.99

00:38:37.000 There's all sorts of shit you could solve. 0.98

00:38:38.000 Military industrial complex, yes. 0.99

00:38:39.000 You're locked into the grip of this constantly feeding machine that constantly has momentum working in the same direction.

00:38:47.000 And there's money to be made in it.

00:38:49.000 It's not like it's a...

00:38:51.000 Just an altruistic adventure to try to fix the world and engineer it properly.

00:38:56.000 No, no.

00:38:57.000 Everybody's making money in staggering amounts.

00:38:59.000 It's the best money-making thing in the whole world.

00:39:02.000 That's right.

00:39:02.000 I mean, the whole speech by Heisenhower in the 50s was a trip because, you know, Heisenhower, a Republican guy, was led troops in World War II, you know, not the most Conspiracy theory inclined, you know, he's a very straight-by-the-book kind of guy,

00:39:18.000 and yet when he announces, you know, the biggest threat facing the United States in the 50s, everybody says, well, communism, right?

00:39:25.000 No, military-industrial complex. 0.99

00:39:27.000 He's like, the fuck are you talking about again? 0.99

00:39:29.000 And you know, the guy is... 0.99

00:39:30.000 A military guy himself, a fairly conservative guy, and yet he makes the call saying if you let certain industries that profit on war get too big, they will get to have influence over government pushing us to fight wars when we don't really need it because of their own profit.

00:39:46.000 And, you know, if it comes from some random hippie telling you this, it's like, yeah, whatever, you know.

00:39:51.000 It comes from this straight-laced, by-the-book kind of guy.

00:39:56.000 It's like, whoa, really?

00:39:58.000 You know, when I first found that out, that I saw that speech, I was really pissed that no one ever showed it to me in high school.

00:40:03.000 They never did?

00:40:04.000 No.

00:40:05.000 They didn't talk about it?

00:40:06.000 No.

00:40:07.000 No, that never came up in my high school.

00:40:10.000 Nobody ever said that Eisenhower warned us about the military-industrial complex.

00:40:13.000 The concept...

00:40:15.000 Of the military-industrial complex being anything but good, or the military being anything but good is never taught. 1.00

00:40:21.000 Shit. 0.99

00:40:22.000 Yeah, it was never taught when I was in high school. 0.99

00:40:24.000 Not in my school.

00:40:25.000 I went to Newton South High School, which is a very good high school in the suburbs of Boston.

00:40:30.000 It's a very good school.

00:40:32.000 Very smart kids.

00:40:33.000 And I don't remember any of that.

00:40:36.000 No, there's no idea.

00:40:38.000 There was never really...

00:40:39.000 That's a really...

00:40:43.000 That's a very controversial subject to be teaching children.

00:40:47.000 It's fun though.

00:40:48.000 That's what it's about.

00:40:49.000 They are going to pay attention to that.

00:40:50.000 They are not going to pay attention if you say the president in 18... 0.99

00:40:55.000 But I mean controversial in that a lot of parents are going to think that that's like liberal programming and then what you're doing is bullshitting these kids with your hippie ideas and you're fucking with my kid's head. 0.94

00:41:05.000 It's like I'm reporting what some Republican president who was a general in World War II said. 0.91

00:41:10.000 Yeah.

00:41:11.000 Back off.

00:41:12.000 Yeah, it's still, though, it's such a...

00:41:15.000 At least it was when I was in high school.

00:41:16.000 It's such a sensitive area to accuse the government of doing anything nefarious.

00:41:21.000 That was never done. 0.99

00:41:22.000 Like, when I was in high school, they taught us Lee Harvey Oswald shot fucking Kennedy. 0.99

00:41:25.000 Really? 0.99

00:41:26.000 Oh, yeah, they did.

00:41:26.000 Of course they did.

00:41:27.000 That's how it was, right?

00:41:28.000 That's exactly what it was.

00:41:29.000 They showed you Lee Harvey Oswald, and they showed Jack Ruby killing Lee Harvey Oswald. 0.99

00:41:34.000 God darn it. 0.98

00:41:35.000 We'll never even know now why he killed the president. 0.99

00:41:38.000 Like, they taught us that in high school.

00:41:39.000 And this is like...

00:41:40.000 Years after they had the Zapruder film shown on the Geraldo Rivera show, where Dick Gregory, the stand-up comedian, brought it on the Geraldo Rivera show and showed people the view of the assassination from Essentially, where this guy,

00:41:55.000 Zapruder, was standing, which we had never seen the actual assassination before.

00:41:59.000 And when people watched it, the first thing they thought was that this guy looks like he's been shot from the front.

00:42:06.000 Right.

00:42:07.000 Like, it doesn't look like he got—his head goes back into the left.

00:42:10.000 Mm-hmm.

00:42:12.000 Like, he got shot by more than one person, too.

00:42:15.000 He got shot in his back.

00:42:16.000 He got shot.

00:42:18.000 There's one wound that they turned into a tracheotomy wound.

00:42:22.000 Right.

00:42:23.000 Yeah.

00:42:23.000 It was an entry wound from the front.

00:42:26.000 There was a bullet wound where his neck was.

00:42:29.000 And there's two different depictions of the autopsy from Bethesda, Maryland to Dallas.

00:42:34.000 It's really interesting.

00:42:35.000 It is.

00:42:36.000 It's very interesting stuff.

00:42:37.000 But I guess what you're saying puts things in perspective for me, because there are a bunch of times when I'm teaching class, and to me I'm saying the things that are the most normal things that everybody would know.

00:42:46.000 And I see everybody kind of like jaw drop to the ground, like... 0.99

00:42:50.000 What the fuck? 0.99

00:42:51.000 Really that happened? 1.00

00:42:52.000 I'm like, yeah, doesn't everybody...

00:42:53.000 Isn't that kind of the stuff that you normally teach?

00:42:55.000 And I guess, no, it's not.

00:42:56.000 No, it's not at all.

00:42:58.000 No, the normal...

00:42:59.000 In school, you're taught no conspiracy theories.

00:43:03.000 You're taught no variations of the truth.

00:43:06.000 You're taught nothing.

00:43:08.000 The most controversial it gets is Nixon was involved in a scandal in Watergate.

00:43:12.000 You know, they tell you a Nixon...

00:43:14.000 That's good to go.

00:43:15.000 Yeah, because they got rid of Nixon.

00:43:16.000 He did a bad thing.

00:43:17.000 This guy, apparently Nixon, had loose morals.

00:43:19.000 Did you ever listen to all those Nixon tapes?

00:43:22.000 Oh, yeah.

00:43:22.000 There's like hundreds and hundreds of hours of tapes because they had everything miked in the whole entire place.

00:43:28.000 And there's like things where like he talks about abortions.

00:43:31.000 I just heard this on Open Anthony the other day.

00:43:33.000 And there's like parts where he's talking about abortion and stuff like that.

00:43:36.000 Oh, my God.

00:43:36.000 You know, just in case of like...

00:43:39.000 Just listen to it.

00:43:40.000 It's crazy. 1.00

00:43:41.000 He said a lot of creepy shit. 1.00

00:43:42.000 Creepy shit. 1.00

00:43:42.000 He was a creep. 1.00

00:43:44.000 He was a creep. 1.00

00:43:45.000 And they found out about it by, you know, tapping into his fucking place. 1.00

00:43:50.000 He was the president. 1.00

00:43:51.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:43:52.000 He knew about it?

00:43:53.000 Yeah.

00:43:54.000 He knew they were recording all that stuff?

00:43:56.000 He was responsible for it.

00:43:57.000 No, he was responsible.

00:43:58.000 He had everything miked because he wanted to, if anything was to happen, he wanted to have proof.

00:44:03.000 So he was like the good guy.

00:44:05.000 And what happened is that they just recorded everything.

00:44:08.000 I thought they bugged the campaign headquarters.

00:44:12.000 That's what they did.

00:44:13.000 What these guys did, they bugged the Democratic campaign headquarters in order to find out what they were saying.

00:44:19.000 And when they got busted, that was the scandal.

00:44:22.000 You authorized Buckingham.

00:44:24.000 That's totally legal.

00:44:25.000 And he said, no, no, it wasn't me, it wasn't me, it wasn't me, and then eventually came out. 0.99

00:44:30.000 That was exactly the recording that he was referring to where there's a lot of evidence of what Nixon was actually saying that he did do that shit. 1.00

00:44:37.000 People need to know if their president's a crook. 1.00

00:44:38.000 I'm not a crook.

00:44:40.000 And that Nixon later afterwards said, well...

00:44:44.000 If the president does it, then it's not illegal. 0.99

00:44:48.000 And he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

00:44:50.000 Did he really say that? 1.00

00:44:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:44:51.000 Well, he was a creepy dude anyway.

00:44:53.000 The weirdest thing about him being president is that is the leader of this great nation.

00:44:58.000 That's the best you can do.

00:45:00.000 That guy's weird, man.

00:45:01.000 Seriously.

00:45:01.000 That guy, everything about him looks like you made it with a stamp, impressed it in a mold.

00:45:08.000 It looks like you polished it up.

00:45:12.000 Everything was weird about that guy.

00:45:14.000 Everything.

00:45:15.000 The way he walked, the way he talked.

00:45:16.000 Big time.

00:45:17.000 I tend to trust intuition in that regard, at least on a person-to-person level.

00:45:22.000 You see somebody and before they say anything, you get a vibe of whether you think there's something weird to the person or not.

00:45:28.000 Man, look at a Nixon. 1.00

00:45:29.000 How the fuck did he become president? 1.00

00:45:32.000 That's what I'm saying. 1.00

00:45:32.000 If you look at him, he's like one of the creepiest guys ever elected to a major office. 1.00

00:45:37.000 One of these guys, arms up in the air, weird face.

00:45:40.000 He's a weird looking dude, man.

00:45:43.000 He looks so awkward.

00:45:44.000 And he didn't feel warm.

00:45:46.000 He didn't feel real.

00:45:47.000 He didn't feel...

00:45:48.000 There was nothing about him that made...

00:45:50.000 With Kennedy, Kennedy had...

00:45:52.000 It was obvious he was a special man.

00:45:54.000 It was obvious he was...

00:45:56.000 A handsome man of great lineage, you know, and he had this way of talking, this charisma.

00:46:03.000 That's all.

00:46:03.000 You can see it right there.

00:46:04.000 It's all real obvious. 0.99

00:46:05.000 But you get to a guy like Nixon, and you go, what the fuck was going on there, man? 0.97

00:46:10.000 And it's funny, because he got elected in 1968, which is, you know, in the middle of the 60s. 0.97

00:46:15.000 Yeah.

00:46:16.000 And it's precisely because the 60s were going on that conservatives got freaked out and they started, oh my God, the country is going in this crazy, wild, godless, liberal direction.

00:46:25.000 We need to take it back.

00:46:26.000 They got hardcore politically organized to try to elect and they got Nixon in office.

00:46:32.000 Yeah.

00:46:33.000 But yeah, man, Nixon is a trip.

00:46:35.000 They say that the election of 1960 was the first election where the debate was on TV. And they say that people who listen on the radio to the debate think that Nixon had done pretty well.

00:46:48.000 But then people who watch it on TV, they overwhelmingly thought Kennedy dominated.

00:46:52.000 Because he's so handsome.

00:46:53.000 Exactly. 0.96

00:46:54.000 And then he looked good by comparison, whereas Nixon was like this weird-looking troll that was scary as hell on so many ways. 0.99

00:47:00.000 And so anybody watching on TV was like, fuck, not that guy. 1.00

00:47:03.000 He was sweating like a pig. 1.00

00:47:04.000 He was doing all that. 0.97

00:47:06.000 It's like...

00:47:07.000 That's instinctive.

00:47:07.000 It shouldn't be, but it's instinctive.

00:47:09.000 I mean, it's not even an appearance thing because Rodney Dangerfield was kind of an ugly dude, but he was so lovable and warm.

00:47:15.000 You know what I mean?

00:47:16.000 I mean, if Rodney Dangerfield had the creepy behavior of Nixon, he would be just as creepy.

00:47:20.000 Of course.

00:47:21.000 Nixon lacked any charisma.

00:47:23.000 When you tell people, you know, you trust first impressions, they're like, ah, that's superficial, they're only looking at somebody's good looking or not.

00:47:30.000 It's not even about that.

00:47:31.000 There's a vibe to people.

00:47:33.000 To me, I'm a big believer that I don't know exactly what you see, I don't know if it's some specific body language, I don't know what it is that you see, but to me it's...

00:47:42.000 Everything you've ever gone through is written on your skin.

00:47:45.000 Is it how you move?

00:47:47.000 Is it how you talk?

00:47:47.000 Is it how you do everything?

00:47:49.000 So it shows up.

00:47:51.000 To me, it's not weird that some people can't see it. 0.96

00:47:54.000 It's like, why the fuck can't most people see it? 0.98

00:47:56.000 It's like a chihuahua can sniff you for three seconds and decide whether to bark at you or be all like... 0.99

00:48:03.000 If a chihuahua can do it, Yeah, but let me tell you something.

00:48:07.000 Chihuahuas are wrong all the time. 1.00

00:48:09.000 Those little cunts, they bark constantly. 1.00

00:48:12.000 They're not the best. 0.99

00:48:13.000 That's not the best. 1.00

00:48:14.000 Yeah, okay, fuck. 1.00

00:48:15.000 I need for a dog. 1.00

00:48:15.000 Yeah, that doesn't qualify as a dog anyway. 1.00

00:48:17.000 But that is true.

00:48:18.000 The dog can sniff you out and learn things about you.

00:48:23.000 And people can too.

00:48:24.000 We have a weird way of whether or not you trust it and whether or not it's tuned in.

00:48:30.000 You've got to have A, been around plenty of crazy people and B, taken a really good look at your own self.

00:48:36.000 Look at yourself like really truly objectively.

00:48:38.000 Your faults, all of it.

00:48:40.000 To be able to recognize it in other people. 0.99

00:48:42.000 Because if you're bullshitting yourself, It's super easy to get bullshitted. 0.98

00:48:45.000 Of course. 0.99

00:48:46.000 And if you're bullshitting other people, it's also easy to get bullshitted.

00:48:50.000 Because, you know, that was like a big thing in gambling, was the double dump. 1.00

00:48:56.000 When a guy thought he was getting dumped, but really they were dumping on him.

00:49:01.000 You know, the double dump, where you're manipulating how a game goes down.

00:49:06.000 Right. 1.00

00:49:07.000 People are devious little fucks. 1.00

00:49:09.000 They sure are. 1.00

00:49:10.000 Well, not all of them.

00:49:11.000 A lot of them.

00:49:12.000 A lot of them.

00:49:13.000 Good percentage.

00:49:13.000 I'll give you that.

00:49:15.000 Once we read each other's minds, that shit's all going to stop. 1.00

00:49:17.000 I think that's the next step. 1.00

00:49:19.000 The next step of evolution is going to be knowing whether or not someone's bullshitting you.

00:49:24.000 It'll save so much.

00:49:26.000 But to me, that's...

00:49:27.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:49:28.000 Maybe I'm too, like, ooh, psychic powers or some shit. 0.93

00:49:32.000 But to me, that's not even hard to do now. 0.94

00:49:34.000 Let alone...

00:49:35.000 What about that Jodie Arias?

00:49:37.000 Well, I mean, that's what I mean.

00:49:39.000 Let me tell you something, son.

00:49:40.000 She would have got you.

00:49:42.000 She would have got you.

00:49:43.000 She would have tricked you.

00:49:43.000 She would have roped you in.

00:49:44.000 She was cute enough that you would say, you know, she wants to be with me. 1.00

00:49:49.000 I'm going to take a chance.

00:49:49.000 You'll be in there with her.

00:49:51.000 Damn. 1.00

00:49:51.000 She doesn't look like an obvious freak. 1.00

00:49:53.000 There's nothing that's scream freak. 0.91

00:49:55.000 Wait, you mean sexual freak?

00:49:56.000 No, no. 1.00

00:49:56.000 I mean just like weird, like I'll stab you in the shower kind of freak. 1.00

00:50:00.000 But as in, she does look... 0.97

00:50:03.000 Freakishly cold.

00:50:04.000 Like, there's something there that's like, there's something weird going on emotionally.

00:50:07.000 So I wouldn't be able to tell, oh, yeah, she's this weird wannabe. 1.00

00:50:11.000 But you could tell, like, huh, there's something off there. 1.00

00:50:14.000 That bitch is crazy. 1.00

00:50:16.000 Did you see the video, the security video of her after they arrested her? 1.00

00:50:21.000 No, I didn't see it.

00:50:22.000 She's doing headstands, doing headstands, singing to herself. 0.89

00:50:26.000 Like, they're locking her up in a cage for the rest of her life for murder and probably going to put her to death. 0.99

00:50:31.000 And she's singing. 0.55

00:50:32.000 Yep.

00:50:34.000 And then when they ask her from jail, like they have a jailhouse interview, it's stunning how well she lies about this. 0.99

00:50:40.000 And you know what's a beautiful thing that people do so well when they lie about shit like that? 0.97

00:50:45.000 Well, how are you staying calm, my faith? 1.00

00:50:49.000 Just think about that statement, that your faith, after you stabbed a dude like 28 times, shot him in the head, slid his neck, like this bitch did some crazy shit to this guy's body. 1.00

00:51:03.000 And she's like, my faith. 1.00

00:51:05.000 It makes you wonder.

00:51:06.000 I think she actually believes it.

00:51:08.000 When she say my fate, I think there's a good chunk of her who actually believe what she's saying.

00:51:12.000 She could be one of those people that's so crazy that they sort of reform their reality every three or four hours. 0.95

00:51:18.000 There's people like that.

00:51:19.000 I've seen people that have been able to justify almost anything because they just sort of put it away and then there's a new reality.

00:51:26.000 I've never done anything like that.

00:51:28.000 You just did it. 1.00

00:51:28.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

00:51:30.000 There's a lot of people that are like that. 1.00

00:51:32.000 Yeah.

00:51:33.000 They could just shut parts of the brain off. 0.98

00:51:35.000 And unfortunately, I think a lot of them suffered childhood abuse.

00:51:38.000 Yeah, in fact, that's the thing that sometimes, you know, when you got the whole background story, you almost feel bad.

00:51:43.000 But then, you know, you feel bad for the five-year-old.

00:51:46.000 You don't feel bad for the person you have become because it's like, I understand how you got there, but understanding doesn't mean justifying.

00:51:54.000 Exactly.

00:51:55.000 It's too fucked up. 0.99

00:51:56.000 Sorry. 0.99

00:51:58.000 Can't let that slide.

00:51:59.000 Absolutely.

00:52:00.000 There's certain things as a race we have to figure out how to stop from occurring. 0.99

00:52:04.000 And I don't think we put any resources into that.

00:52:07.000 It's amazing how much we...

00:52:10.000 Put resources into making sure that marijuana stays illegal.

00:52:14.000 Think about how much money is involved in that.

00:52:16.000 What is it?

00:52:16.000 Four billion a year?

00:52:17.000 Something like that?

00:52:18.000 It's crazy.

00:52:19.000 Something nutty.

00:52:20.000 And how much have we really put into trying to help people that are doing a shitty job of raising their children?

00:52:27.000 How much...

00:52:28.000 I mean, besides like...

00:52:30.000 I don't know what you can do, really.

00:52:32.000 I mean, besides...

00:52:43.000 Yeah, of course.

00:52:48.000 You're just asking for problems.

00:52:49.000 You should fix that, level that up as much as possible, help those people out as much as possible, and help them to get the fuck out of there.

00:52:57.000 And the thing that drives me crazy about people when they talk about people that are in the ghetto, like, oh, they're poor, they're lazy, that's why they're still on welfare.

00:53:05.000 You know, if they don't want to work, you don't...

00:53:08.000 You don't get it.

00:53:09.000 You don't get it. 1.00

00:53:10.000 They are in a shit spot. 1.00

00:53:12.000 And it's super hard to have a good mentality when you're in a shit spot. 1.00

00:53:16.000 It's very hard. 1.00

00:53:18.000 So to say that they just fucking get off their lazy asses and stop collecting welfare... 1.00

00:53:25.000 I think you're probably missing what's going on there. 1.00

00:53:29.000 Ideology aside, right-wing rhetoric aside, you're dealing with someone who got a terrible roll of the dice.

00:53:35.000 And that could have been you, man.

00:53:37.000 You could have been in that.

00:53:37.000 And just because you could pull out a story or two or three about people who are in that situation.

00:53:42.000 And then Rob went on to get his PhD.

00:53:45.000 And to this day, he says that living in the ghetto does not hold you back.

00:53:49.000 It's a prison of your own mind.

00:53:50.000 Right.

00:53:51.000 There's always those stories, but the reality is, how much good role models do those kids have?

00:53:57.000 How many good role models?

00:53:58.000 How much good inspiration?

00:54:00.000 How much hope for the future?

00:54:03.000 Student of mine, very first semester I started teaching, there was this guy who was from South Central LA, and we started chatting afterwards, and man, the stories he would tell me about what It was a normal part of his day-to-day life.

00:54:14.000 He'd be like, yeah, yesterday I didn't get home until midnight from class because somebody killed right down my door and so they had locked up the whole... 0.98

00:54:22.000 I was like, fuck, really? 1.00

00:54:23.000 And that shit would happen like three times a year. 1.00

00:54:26.000 Yeah, it happens all the time. 1.00

00:54:27.000 You're like, wow.

00:54:28.000 It happens all the time.

00:54:29.000 It's real dangerous.

00:54:30.000 Who you know, running into the wrong people.

00:54:33.000 It's all real dangerous.

00:54:35.000 And no one's doing shit about it. 0.81

00:54:37.000 All they do about it is they arrest people when people do things that are bad.

00:54:42.000 Instead of making cops' lives way easier.

00:54:45.000 And this is all very utopian, hippie.

00:54:47.000 We need to fix it.

00:54:48.000 We need to do something.

00:54:49.000 But it's just weird to me that it never comes up.

00:54:52.000 It's weird to me that if you do bring it up, oh, socialism.

00:54:55.000 Right.

00:54:57.000 There's a bunch of babies there, man.

00:55:00.000 There's a whole community of future people that you can affect.

00:55:06.000 There's a whole new generation of future people that if emphasis is put on helping, somehow or another we can figure out a way to at least eliminate a certain aspect of the lowest of our lowest class society.

00:55:22.000 You know, it seems like that could be done with education.

00:55:25.000 Right.

00:55:25.000 It seems like at least part of it can be done.

00:55:27.000 Sure.

00:55:28.000 Definitely better than it's currently at least.

00:55:30.000 Way better.

00:55:30.000 Which is not saying much, but at least it's...

00:55:33.000 It's just one of the most frustrating things is how far we've come as a human race and yet how far we have to go when it comes to shit like that. 0.99

00:55:43.000 Absolutely. 0.98

00:55:44.000 Yeah, because I mean, the whole emphasis on individual initiative is like, pull yourself up by your bootstrap and stuff.

00:55:49.000 There's something good about that.

00:55:50.000 Of course, there is an element about self-empowerment that regardless of circumstances, you know, you're not going to change circumstances just because you wish it.

00:55:59.000 So there is an element where the individual needs to find a way because if nothing else is doing it for you, you might as well put your best to do it.

00:56:07.000 But, having said that, most people then use that argument to dismiss all the social conditions. 0.99

00:56:12.000 It becomes, well, it's just up to you, so go son, we are all behind you kind of shit. 0.98

00:56:18.000 But in the meantime, you start from 50 steps behind everyone else because you grew up in a shitty place with drug abuse all over, with alcohol abuse all over, with neural models, with the whole thing. 0.99

00:56:31.000 And it's like, but, you know, you can do it. 1.00

00:56:33.000 Well, sweet of you to say, you haven't grown up in that shit. 1.00

00:56:38.000 It's such a cliche, but a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. 1.00

00:56:42.000 The most patriotic thing that we could do as a country is not go fuck with some other countries overseas with dubious intentions, but strengthen our weakest link, our weakest economic link, our weakest social link.

00:56:57.000 It's a weird thing that politicians don't talk about that, that they don't offer that up as a plan for the future. 0.86

00:57:05.000 Take Give companies contracts to clean up the ghetto. 0.98

00:57:11.000 The same kind of contracts you give to clean up fucking Iraq. 0.99

00:57:14.000 Give contracts to clean up the ghetto. 0.99

00:57:16.000 It would be amazing.

00:57:16.000 Let Halberton make money cleaning up the ghetto.

00:57:19.000 Why can't they do that?

00:57:21.000 I don't understand why they can't profit off of that. 0.97

00:57:23.000 It seems ridiculous. 0.81

00:57:24.000 And it seems like it's just... 1.00

00:57:28.000 At this point in 2013, we're still doing the same goddamn shit. 1.00

00:57:35.000 Still going over to countries, getting involved in dubious shit. 1.00

00:57:40.000 Right. 0.99

00:57:41.000 Somehow or another, it can or can't be tied to resources and oil and this and that.

00:57:46.000 And, oh, it's conspiracy theory.

00:57:47.000 We're over there to stop Islam from taking over our underwear. 1.00

00:57:51.000 Right. 1.00

00:57:51.000 Whatever the fuck it is. 1.00

00:57:52.000 It's like the same goddamn show game. 1.00

00:57:54.000 Yep. 0.99

00:57:55.000 Well, I mean, in fact, that's what's funny.

00:57:57.000 I guess I keep bringing you up today, but that's because you started on him with Dan Carlin.

00:58:00.000 I was listening to his series about the Roman Republic.

00:58:03.000 Yeah.

00:58:03.000 And it was hilarious because it was the same exact dynamics you see them today.

00:58:08.000 Yeah.

00:58:08.000 By the book, exactly.

00:58:10.000 It's unavoidable.

00:58:11.000 It's unavoidable. 1.00

00:58:12.000 We're stupid. 1.00

00:58:13.000 We're broken. 1.00

00:58:14.000 We're broken little crazy animals.

00:58:16.000 We don't know how to keep it together. 0.99

00:58:18.000 We get it together for a certain amount of time, and then we fucking spiral out of control and go slamming into the rocks. 0.97

00:58:24.000 It's fucking weird because, I don't know, I notice when I look at myself and I analyze where I'm at, if I'm happy with me or not, I see so much fucking room for improvement. 0.95

00:58:35.000 There are lots of times I'm like... 0.97

00:58:36.000 I'm glad you see it because I would mean to talk to you about your room for improvement.

00:58:41.000 No, I see a lot of it. 0.99

00:58:43.000 I like myself, there are good things, but I also see like, ah, fuck, this thing is not so good, this thing, it's a weakness. 0.99

00:58:50.000 Then I look at everyone else and I'm like, fuck, I'm a god! 0.99

00:58:57.000 That's going to be a meme on the internet for sure. 1.00

00:59:00.000 Then I look at everyone else and I'm like, fuck, I'm a god. 0.98

00:59:03.000 That is a meme and a half, son. 1.00

00:59:05.000 You just fucked yourself. 1.00

00:59:07.000 You just fucked yourself hard. 1.00

00:59:09.000 You better hope and pray you don't say anything stupid for the next three years. 1.00

00:59:12.000 That's how long they remember a meme for. 1.00

00:59:14.000 It's all good.

00:59:15.000 Let's do it. 0.99

00:59:16.000 And I look at everyone else and I'm like, fuck, I'm a god. 0.99

00:59:19.000 No, but you know, the thing that's funny is that it's not that I really think like I'm all that. 0.99

00:59:23.000 Because when I look at objectively just me, I do see so many places where I could improve. 0.59

00:59:30.000 But then, you know, the bar is so fucking low on average. 0.99

00:59:34.000 The average human being, there are so many fucked up shit that people do that I'm like, wow, okay. 1.00

00:59:39.000 At least... 1.00

00:59:40.000 Right.

00:59:40.000 Right when you think that you're a loser because you can't pay your credit card, you hear about this guy in Cleveland that has kidnapped three women for ten years, and you go, I'm not really a bad person.

00:59:49.000 Right. 0.66

00:59:49.000 It's like, okay, it's... 0.66

00:59:50.000 Yeah, but that's why it's important to surround yourself with bad motherfuckers. 1.00

00:59:54.000 It's very important. 0.98

00:59:55.000 You know, to surround yourself with cool people, like, one of the things that I've gotten really good at as I've become an adult is I collect cool people.

01:00:04.000 I know how to collect cool friends.

01:00:05.000 I got a bunch of cool people that have managed to sneak into my life.

01:00:09.000 And that's very important because when you have questions about something, when you want to talk to somebody about something, like I can resource a database of cool, intelligent, level-headed, healthy ego people.

01:00:22.000 That's super important.

01:00:24.000 It's so hard to find.

01:00:24.000 It is.

01:00:25.000 That's one of the most important things about choosing a place to live or choosing people to be around is surrounding yourself with inspirational people, people who also are healthy, people who are excited, people who have good attitudes, people who aren't lazy bitches. 0.99

01:00:41.000 That's probably the most comment I see when I look at your board, when I look at Duncan's board, like people's emails or people when they send you an email like, oh, I love the podcast, stuff like that.

01:00:52.000 So many people say the exact same thing you're saying, which is, Jesus Christ, I can't find around me the kind of conversations that you guys have on a podcast.

01:01:02.000 Man, I wish, and that's why I listen, because I can't find it around me.

01:01:06.000 And, you know, it's amazing.

01:01:08.000 It's inspiring to be reminded that not all humanity is like that.

01:01:12.000 Well, you know what it is?

01:01:13.000 There's a lot of people that think like us out there, but they weren't connected by a show.

01:01:20.000 It's like they were all floating around, and you sort of locked into certain ideologies, and sometimes you could listen to this kind of a show or that kind of a show, but it didn't get locked into...

01:01:33.000 Like, where you can all meet up.

01:01:35.000 It's almost like you need a spot where you meet up.

01:01:38.000 And then everybody goes, I'm not alone.

01:01:40.000 I'm not crazy.

01:01:41.000 I'm not alone. 1.00

01:01:42.000 Yeah, this world is fucked. 0.99

01:01:43.000 Thank you. 1.00

01:01:43.000 Because I get up every day and I look at my alarm clock and I go, what the fuck is the point? 1.00

01:01:46.000 And go into my whack-ass job. 1.00

01:01:49.000 Well, this is a crazy, fucked up world. 1.00

01:01:51.000 It doesn't make any sense at all. 0.98

01:01:52.000 And I'm just stuck in this system which eats up most of my time and therefore leaves with no time to really think about what I'm doing.

01:01:59.000 So I'm just caught.

01:02:00.000 A creature of momentum Floating down the river of life, trying to figure out a way to get to a lily pad and just catch a breath. 1.00

01:02:08.000 Fuck me. 1.00

01:02:09.000 Fuck, man. 1.00

01:02:10.000 So, you know, that's one of the best things about living in L.A. is that I know so many cool people that live around here. 1.00

01:02:18.000 It's one of the only things that keeps me around.

01:02:20.000 Yep.

01:02:21.000 It's so important.

01:02:23.000 And so important to do it through podcasts, too.

01:02:25.000 When we do it, when we bring you these people, you guys out there listening, we bring you these people like Daniele Bolelli, Joe Diaz, and Duncan Trestle.

01:02:34.000 That stuff, when it spreads like that, it's good for everybody.

01:02:39.000 It's good for all of us.

01:02:41.000 Yeah, because I mean, imagine you are the guy who lives in a town of 2,000 people in Nebraska or something.

01:02:47.000 Yeah.

01:02:47.000 And you are the...

01:02:49.000 Everybody you relate to feel like they live in a parallel universe.

01:02:53.000 Yeah.

01:02:53.000 And you feel like you are the weird...

01:02:54.000 Before internet, you would have been really fucked. 0.99

01:02:57.000 With internet, you can have access to a whole other world out there where you're like, okay, I'm not just the only crazy one in town. 0.99

01:03:03.000 There really is something different.

01:03:05.000 And you can share it with other people in your town, too. 0.97

01:03:07.000 You can say, listen, there's this dude named Duncan Trussell, and you've got to hear this fucking podcast, and it's going to change the way you look at marriage. 0.97

01:03:14.000 Or a flashlight, too. 0.99

01:03:15.000 Or a flashlight.

01:03:16.000 Yeah, that's what the internet provides that nobody had before.

01:03:20.000 Yeah.

01:03:21.000 You know, that's one of the things that was really fascinating about this Dan Carlin podcast is he was talking about Martin Luther and how they printed up—this is amazing stuff, folks—they made these little, like, pamphlets, and they handed out these pamphlets about religion,

01:03:38.000 and people would hide them and share them with each other, and they were, like, secret.

01:03:42.000 And it spread like a wildfire.

01:03:46.000 This guy, Martin Luther, he was the first guy to translate the Bible in a phonetic language.

01:03:52.000 The first guy to make it so that the people who didn't understand Latin could actually read the word of the Bible.

01:03:58.000 Yeah, because at that time, when he started doing that, it was a death penalty offense to own a Bible or read it in, you know, Christian countries. 0.61

01:04:06.000 It was bad, bad, bad.

01:04:08.000 You had to be a priest.

01:04:09.000 Because only a priest can read it correctly.

01:04:11.000 If you read it on your own, you're going to screw things up and pollute the Word of God. 1.00

01:04:15.000 And back then, the Pope had bitches. 1.00

01:04:17.000 Of course. 1.00

01:04:18.000 The Pope had mistresses.

01:04:20.000 What's the point of being a Pope otherwise? 0.97

01:04:21.000 Crazy cash.

01:04:22.000 The Pope was going to war with the Mongols. 0.95

01:04:25.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:04:26.000 No, actually, the Pope went to war with the Romans, right?

01:04:28.000 Who went to war?

01:04:29.000 The Pope led an army, right?

01:04:31.000 Of course. 0.97

01:04:32.000 Yeah, there were a gazillion of these stories where sometime before they became Pope, they were like general or some shit, slaughter a whole town, and then eventually they become Pope. 0.98

01:04:40.000 Slaughter a whole town, then become a Pope. 0.88

01:04:42.000 Sometime when they were actually Pope. 0.99

01:04:45.000 When did Pope and being a priest in general become so gay? 1.00

01:04:49.000 Not that there's anything wrong with that. 0.99

01:04:51.000 No, I think like throughout it was the only cover that you had if you didn't have heterosexuality where you get married and you just have kids and all of that shit if you just wasn't in you and You couldn't fake it. 0.65

01:05:03.000 And it's not like you had the option of saying, no, sorry, I'm out of this because I like dudes or something. 0.80

01:05:07.000 You couldn't say that.

01:05:08.000 Couldn't you just teach poetry and everybody would just give you a wink and they knew it was up?

01:05:12.000 Not even because everybody's expected to get married. 1.00

01:05:15.000 If you're not married and you don't have kids, what the fuck is wrong with you? 0.99

01:05:18.000 If you become a priest, it's your only cover because I'm in the service of God. 1.00

01:05:22.000 Then it's like, oh, okay, that's why you don't touch women and stuff.

01:05:25.000 How many men back then must have had beards?

01:05:28.000 Beards meaning wives that weren't really their wife. 0.77

01:05:32.000 They had a wife just for... 1.00

01:05:34.000 They even fucked her and got her pregnant. 1.00

01:05:35.000 Of course. 1.00

01:05:36.000 Really, they were just out getting booty every night.

01:05:38.000 Plenty, plenty, plenty.

01:05:40.000 For sure.

01:05:41.000 That's only 1500s, man.

01:05:43.000 Absolutely. 1.00

01:05:44.000 That Martin Luther shit was nuts. 1.00

01:05:45.000 Yep. 1.00

01:05:46.000 And that people that didn't think he took it far enough, they took it to another level?

01:05:52.000 Right.

01:05:53.000 What was it called again?

01:05:55.000 Anabaptism?

01:05:56.000 Anabaptism, yeah.

01:05:57.000 And even those guys, there are like so many subdivisions, that's why this thing gets so crazy.

01:06:01.000 Most of those guys were hardcore pacifists who sort of read the New Testament in a very literal, you know, turn the other cheek.

01:06:08.000 Love your enemies so they wouldn't fight under any conditions.

01:06:11.000 But then there were some guys who decided, well, I like some of your interpretation, which was the more pro-poor, semi-communist interpretation of the New Testament. 0.98

01:06:20.000 But this peaceful shit, yeah, I don't like that part. 1.00

01:06:24.000 So we'll just go for the hardcore pro-poor, pro-communist approach, but we'll just bash bastards' heads along the way. 1.00

01:06:30.000 And we'll take people's things. 1.00

01:06:32.000 Exactly.

01:06:32.000 They decided that there would be no private property.

01:06:37.000 No one should be able to own anything.

01:06:39.000 It's like we all enjoy fire.

01:06:40.000 We all enjoy the sun.

01:06:42.000 They were going deep.

01:06:43.000 Some of the stories are just...

01:06:45.000 You can't believe that people go along with you.

01:06:47.000 Well, I can't believe that in 1500 you couldn't even read a Bible.

01:06:52.000 That is amazing.

01:06:54.000 I didn't know that.

01:06:54.000 And that gives you an idea of how much of an institution designed to control people the Catholic Church was.

01:07:02.000 You can't get away with it anymore.

01:07:03.000 Yeah, you can read the Quran since the beginning of time.

01:07:05.000 Yeah.

01:07:06.000 No, it's crazy.

01:07:07.000 It really is insane.

01:07:08.000 And in that sense, that was the cool thing about Martin Luther is about pushing these, everybody can make it decide for themselves, which sound very sweet and democratic.

01:07:17.000 But the problem is that then when he started realizing that other people were interpreting the Bible in ways that were completely unlike his, he was just as peaceless as the Catholic with them.

01:07:27.000 He's like, no, I meant freedom from the Catholic interpretation.

01:07:30.000 I didn't mean really make up your own. 0.98

01:07:32.000 That's some weird shit that you're interpreting there. 0.98

01:07:34.000 Who told you that? 0.99

01:07:35.000 And Protestants started burning people at the stake just as much as Catholics were doing it. 0.99

01:07:40.000 Well, that was the big time for burning people.

01:07:42.000 Yeah, the guy, John Calvin, like the second major figure beside Martin Luther among the Protestants, he was so peace with this one guy because he denied the Trinity, you know, the Father, Son, Holy Ghost thing.

01:07:54.000 That he had them burned at the stake and when they were bringing the wood to set him on fire, he said, no, no, not that wood.

01:07:59.000 That's dry.

01:08:00.000 He's going to burn up quick.

01:08:01.000 I want green wood. 1.00

01:08:02.000 I want this motherfucker to last a long time. 1.00

01:08:04.000 Oh my God. 1.00

01:08:07.000 Really?

01:08:08.000 That's the guy who started a huge branch of Protestantism?

01:08:11.000 They use green wood?

01:08:12.000 Yeah, because that way it takes longer to learn. 1.00

01:08:14.000 That shit takes a long time. 1.00

01:08:15.000 They cooked a guy to death with green wood? 1.00

01:08:18.000 I could just see a slow fire cooking your feet. 1.00

01:08:20.000 Which is like, what kind of a sick motherfucker do you have to be to? 1.00

01:08:25.000 What a dick. 1.00

01:08:26.000 It's unreal. 1.00

01:08:27.000 Yeah, there was a lot of Green Mountain Grills.

01:08:30.000 I met the owner, by the way, in Sacramento.

01:08:33.000 Oh, did you?

01:08:33.000 We went drinking and got wasted.

01:08:35.000 You got wasted with the owner of Green Mountain Grills?

01:08:37.000 Yeah.

01:08:38.000 It's a great grill.

01:08:38.000 I just used mine the other night.

01:08:40.000 I love it.

01:08:41.000 I cooked some of the last of my venison sausage.

01:08:43.000 It's amazing.

01:08:44.000 Because you keep the temperature the same.

01:08:47.000 We went from Martin Luther. 0.96

01:08:49.000 Well, we were talking about cooking people.

01:08:51.000 Well, yeah. 1.00

01:08:51.000 It was fucked up. 1.00

01:08:53.000 That is a fucked up part about history, is the cruelty that people were willing to do to their fellow man. 1.00

01:08:59.000 Again, just a few hundred years ago. 0.98

01:09:01.000 In the name of ideology.

01:09:03.000 I mean, this is not even the stuff where it's like, hey man, you have a lot of cool gold, I want it, sorry, tough luck, I'll bash your skull in because I want to take it.

01:09:11.000 It's not nice, but you can see a logic to it at least.

01:09:14.000 This is about some...

01:09:16.000 You don't believe in the Trinity? 0.63

01:09:17.000 That's why I'm gonna burn you to that? 1.00

01:09:19.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 1.00

01:09:21.000 Really? 0.99

01:09:21.000 That's what we argue about? 0.99

01:09:22.000 The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, yeah. 0.99

01:09:24.000 Your daughter's rape killer. 0.98

01:09:27.000 Well, that wasn't the Catholic Church. 0.97

01:09:28.000 That's more of an Islamic approach, right?

01:09:31.000 Yeah, I mean...

01:09:32.000 But the thing is that what scares me to me is not even one group or the other.

01:09:36.000 It's like anybody who puts ideology above real individuals around them.

01:09:42.000 Anybody who goes...

01:09:44.000 In that sense, to me, any kind of ideology in that sense is a disease because rather than interpreting life by looking at what really is going on, you are trying to interpret it to this filter of your...

01:09:55.000 It has to fit my preconceived notion of the universe.

01:09:58.000 And if life doesn't, then there's something wrong with life.

01:10:01.000 I'm going to disregard that evidence because I got it all figured out.

01:10:04.000 Yeah, it can be beneficial if you follow a really positive ideology, but just following an ideology itself is so dangerous.

01:10:12.000 It's like the idea that one person or one idea, one thought will prevail above all despite rational changes in your environment, changes around you.

01:10:25.000 That's what a religion really is.

01:10:27.000 A religion is an ideology.

01:10:28.000 That's where it really becomes a problem.

01:10:30.000 We get locked into those too easy for some reason.

01:10:33.000 It's like a broken circuit.

01:10:37.000 We have a defect.

01:10:39.000 I think life is It's too complex for most people to deal with.

01:10:43.000 There are too many exceptions.

01:10:44.000 There's too much change going on.

01:10:46.000 So what was working yesterday may not work today.

01:10:48.000 And it's too much.

01:10:50.000 It's too much work.

01:10:51.000 People don't want to deal with it.

01:10:52.000 So one of the things that people dig is the ability to have some solid dogma to fall back on that is reassuring, makes them feel good about life.

01:11:00.000 It makes them feel like I know what's going on as opposed to be constantly on the ball and figure things out as you go.

01:11:07.000 Yeah, especially folks that seem to have a little extra fear or a little less curiosity or they get tired easier.

01:11:16.000 It's so easier for them to just lock on to something, but it's also easier for people who are mentally ill to lock on to something. 0.55

01:11:22.000 That's one of the weirdest things when you see an obviously mentally ill person screaming, firing, brimstone, and you're like, ugh. 1.00

01:11:31.000 That's...

01:11:32.000 Yeah, no, you're right on that.

01:11:33.000 And it's hilarious how people apply to every aspect of life, even when they are not that flat out crazy, but just a couple of degrees lower, that desire for owning the truth and for...

01:11:44.000 Martial arts is the same... 0.97

01:11:46.000 I mean, martial arts is the same crap, right? 1.00

01:11:48.000 Before MMA, before Bruce Lee, everybody was like, Judo is the shit, fuck karate. 1.00

01:11:54.000 You guys suck. 1.00

01:11:55.000 And it was the same mentality that organized religions have. 1.00

01:11:58.000 It's the same mentality that...

01:12:00.000 I got the truth, everybody else must be wrong, and I'm gonna defend it against all evidence, no matter what.

01:12:06.000 Yeah, martial arts are very cult-like.

01:12:08.000 A lot of the traditional martial arts, and although I benefited a lot from that, I was definitely locked in.

01:12:14.000 It's just, I was lucky that it was very positive, and it was beneficial towards me, but it was all bowing, everyone was, sir, you know, you wore a special outfit when you walked into the place.

01:12:24.000 Certain words you would use.

01:12:27.000 There's a lot of mind control to it.

01:12:30.000 It wasn't just discipline.

01:12:31.000 It was also like they were instilling a program in your mind.

01:12:34.000 And if you accepted that program, it would make you a more efficient fighter.

01:12:38.000 It would make you a more efficient killer.

01:12:40.000 It would make you more disciplined.

01:12:41.000 And that's the beauty of MMA is when everybody was claiming this stuff.

01:12:47.000 They built a cult in so many ways.

01:12:50.000 Many traditional martial arts built a cult in terms of cult of personality and the wise master who knows everything and all these rules are designed to increase this sense of hierarchy sometimes.

01:13:01.000 And in things like UFC, it's like, well, prove it.

01:13:04.000 Which is almost blasphemous if you say it in a more traditional context where...

01:13:09.000 You're not saying it as a challenge. 0.99

01:13:11.000 You're not telling somebody to fuck off, but you're saying, hey man, that sounds like a cool theory. 0.99

01:13:14.000 Show me. 1.00

01:13:15.000 Show me that it works under pressure.

01:13:17.000 Under the real pressure of an actual fight.

01:13:19.000 That's as close to emulating an actual fight as you can get.

01:13:22.000 Yeah, and that stuff in most traditional elements, like in most religions, is blasphemy to say that.

01:13:28.000 What?

01:13:28.000 You're questioning the master?

01:13:30.000 You're doing...

01:13:31.000 And it's like questioning is the healthiest thing, man.

01:13:34.000 It's like I'm giving him a chance to prove it.

01:13:36.000 Yeah, that doesn't work anymore.

01:13:38.000 That's the whole idea that you can't question.

01:13:40.000 That's out.

01:13:41.000 That one's out.

01:13:42.000 That one's out.

01:13:42.000 Anybody who tells you not to question, question that guy.

01:13:45.000 Right.

01:13:46.000 Because that's a mess.

01:13:46.000 Yep.

01:13:47.000 Who the fuck are you that you can't be questioned? 1.00

01:13:49.000 Are you an alien? 1.00

01:13:49.000 Are you from another planet? 1.00

01:13:50.000 Right.

01:13:51.000 Are you the perfect being?

01:13:52.000 Are you Dr. Manhattan?

01:13:53.000 Right.

01:13:54.000 No, right?

01:13:55.000 Dr. Manhattan. 1.00

01:13:56.000 No, you're not, you silly bitch. 1.00

01:13:59.000 That's exactly where I was going with the new book that I published. 1.00

01:14:05.000 The new book is called Create Your Own Religion.

01:14:09.000 What is it on?

01:14:10.000 What publishing company?

01:14:12.000 It's Disinfo.

01:14:13.000 Disinfo is a subset of Wiser, but yes.

01:14:16.000 Yeah, disinfo.com.

01:14:18.000 I have both of the original Disinfo books.

01:14:22.000 You're Being Lied To.

01:14:24.000 That's a great book, man. 1.00

01:14:25.000 You read that book and you're like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:14:29.000 That was almost pre-internet. 0.99

01:14:32.000 I mean, it was a part of the internet movement, but having that book around...

01:14:36.000 It's like if you went over someone's house and you saw you're being lied to, you're like, all right, man. 0.99

01:14:40.000 You fucking tuned in like me, brother. 0.98

01:14:43.000 You know how the man's been lying to you as well. 0.99

01:14:48.000 Daniele Bolele.

01:14:51.000 So create your own religion. 0.72

01:14:52.000 What is the concept behind it?

01:14:54.000 It's just to add all the best parts to all the different ideologies that you've ever found and just sort of Bruce Lee it all.

01:15:01.000 That's exactly what it is.

01:15:02.000 It's the MMA approach to religion is what...

01:15:05.000 The way MMA stands to traditional martial arts is like this approach is what stands to regular religions, which is not all the good stuff comes from the same place.

01:15:16.000 You need to look at multiple places.

01:15:18.000 You need to test it.

01:15:18.000 You need to see what works or doesn't.

01:15:21.000 And rather than being like, Christianity sucks or it's like... 1.00

01:15:24.000 Try. 1.00

01:15:24.000 Try some things, maybe 80% of it you think is crazy bullshit that makes no sense, but you find a couple of gems that can help you in life. 1.00

01:15:32.000 Then use them. 0.71

01:15:32.000 Why not? 0.71

01:15:33.000 Doesn't mean I'm mirroring the ideology, but I'm going to take whatever I can use to make life.

01:15:37.000 To me, the only thing that matters is elevating the quality of life. 0.95

01:15:41.000 If you're elevating the quality of life, I don't give a fuck where you got the source information from. 0.96

01:15:47.000 That's not what it's about. 0.81

01:15:48.000 It's where it's leading.

01:15:49.000 What kind of results does it create?

01:15:52.000 Yeah.

01:15:52.000 That's what interests me, which is exactly the MMA mentality.

01:15:56.000 It doesn't matter whether the technique is judo or karate or boxing or whatever the fuck. 0.90

01:16:00.000 If it works, it works. 0.91

01:16:01.000 Yeah, that's one of the things about human beings, ultimately, is that we need someone to lead by example.

01:16:06.000 You know, you can't just get up and tell us how to do things.

01:16:10.000 You can't just get up and tell us...

01:16:11.000 That's why people, especially should be...

01:16:16.000 Really distrusting of politicians in 2013. The way human beings should talk should be explaining what they've learned from their own experiences.

01:16:26.000 It should not be telling people what they should do.

01:16:28.000 Exactly.

01:16:29.000 It should be learning from your own experiences, telling you. 0.92

01:16:32.000 And if you don't have any experiences, if you don't have any really unique experiences or really unique thoughts and experiences, why the fuck would you think that you should be able to lead? 0.99

01:16:40.000 Well, you're trying to lead because you're saying the words the right way, and you're saying the things that the polls say people want to hear, but as far as unique individual thoughts, like this shit like I Have a Dream that you could hear today, and you go, that motherfucker just nailed it. 0.99

01:16:56.000 He just nailed it. 0.99

01:16:57.000 Martin Luther King nailed it.

01:17:00.000 Kennedy's speech about secret societies, or any of his speeches.

01:17:04.000 He has a bunch of brilliant speeches.

01:17:06.000 Where the guy just, it made sense.

01:17:08.000 You're dealing with a unique individual.

01:17:10.000 You're dealing with a person with great intelligence.

01:17:12.000 You're dealing with a person that you should be paying attention to.

01:17:16.000 And those people are usually...

01:17:19.000 They are both cocky and humble at the same time. 1.00

01:17:22.000 Because, you know, there's a certain cockiness that comes from you are a bad motherfucker and you know it because you're doing things that no one else is doing. 0.99

01:17:29.000 But at the same time, you know your limits real well. 0.99

01:17:32.000 You see all the times when stuff that you do and say doesn't work.

01:17:36.000 It boils down to being honest with oneself.

01:17:38.000 Right.

01:17:38.000 Which means neither pumping yourself up or faking modesty because you're...

01:17:43.000 It's like, this is how it is.

01:17:45.000 This is the stuff that I do well.

01:17:46.000 This is the stuff where my experience stops right there and I don't know anything beyond that or And even experience, people get into this trip of making perfect sense of it, right?

01:17:57.000 This is the event, and I'm going to derive 12 lessons from it.

01:18:01.000 Sometimes you can. 0.84

01:18:02.000 Sometimes it's just like, that's my experience, and it's fucking mind-blowing, and I don't know exactly what to make of it. 0.81

01:18:08.000 And that's honest.

01:18:09.000 It's like looking at what things that happen, rather than running with it beyond what experience warrants, that you just acknowledge what happened, you acknowledge what you derive from it, and keep an open mind, the fact that there's probably more to it. 0.65

01:18:23.000 Now, your idea about this book, is this just to pick out all the cool shit that you've learned? 0.91

01:18:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:18:28.000 All the cool shit that you've found and you're studying? 0.99

01:18:31.000 You've studied religion for how long now? 0.99

01:18:33.000 Yeah, for a bunch.

01:18:33.000 And to me, it's like, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what I'm teaching, I always end up talking about the same stuff.

01:18:40.000 Whether I'm talking about, I start from American Indian history or religion or martial arts, I end up talking about the same things because they are the stuff that life is made of.

01:18:49.000 The cool topics.

01:18:50.000 Sex, gender roles. 0.68

01:18:53.000 Talk about, yeah.

01:18:55.000 Sex and gender roles. 0.59

01:18:56.000 Yeah, all good stuff.

01:18:57.000 Is there one way to the truth?

01:19:00.000 Is there multiple ways?

01:19:01.000 It's like the relationship with death and dying.

01:19:04.000 How do you deal with that?

01:19:05.000 How do you deal with the physical world, with your own body?

01:19:08.000 I mean, the big topics are always the same.

01:19:10.000 They don't change.

01:19:10.000 The specific examples that you gather from may differ.

01:19:14.000 So to me, I pick like...

01:19:16.000 A chapter each on some of the big things for me, the things that in my mind any human being need to find, need to decide where they stand on some of these issues.

01:19:25.000 And I look at what's out there.

01:19:27.000 Some answers make no sense to me and they seem to lead down really unhealthy paths.

01:19:32.000 So thank you, but no thanks.

01:19:33.000 Other answers make more sense or maybe they don't and I come up with my own.

01:19:37.000 But it's basic.

01:19:38.000 It really is boiled down to the Bruce Lee You know, research your own experience, reject what is useless, absorb what is useful, and add what's specific here on.

01:19:47.000 You know, his basic methodology for how to approach knowledge.

01:19:51.000 I mean, he applied it to martial arts, but really is a brilliant way of approach just any kind of knowledge, whether it's about life.

01:19:59.000 Yeah.

01:20:00.000 Yeah, it's hard for people to accept that, right?

01:20:02.000 It's much easier to follow the pattern that your family's followed.

01:20:05.000 I'm a Lutheran because my grandma's a Lutheran.

01:20:08.000 Grandpa always said that no matter what, we'll be Lutherans.

01:20:11.000 I remember talking to this girl, and she said that she was going to get a tattoo of a cross.

01:20:16.000 And I said, oh, I go, you're really religious?

01:20:19.000 She goes, well, not really, but you know what?

01:20:21.000 I was born Catholic, and I figure that no matter what, that's the one thing that I'll be for the rest of my life.

01:20:28.000 And I remember saying, I'm like, you know, I didn't know her very well.

01:20:31.000 So I was like, okay, how do you know?

01:20:34.000 Like, how do you know you won't change your mind about that?

01:20:36.000 And she's like, oh my God, my family would kill me.

01:20:42.000 And I was like, oh, okay, well, good luck with that.

01:20:45.000 Good luck with that.

01:20:46.000 Wow.

01:20:48.000 Those are the cases that had World War II gone different.

01:20:51.000 There would be people today who are like, no, I'm not really Nazi.

01:20:54.000 But, you know, if I don't put the swastika on, my grandma, her feelings would get really hurt. 1.00

01:20:59.000 I don't hate the Jews, but grandma fucking hates Jews. 1.00

01:21:01.000 I love grandma. 1.00

01:21:02.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:21:03.000 You know, it's like, I don't want to make them sad, you know.

01:21:06.000 What's hilarious is that she was going to get a Catholic tattoo in the first place because in the Bible it very specifically says...

01:21:12.000 So getting a religious tattoo is like, were you not listening to me?

01:21:19.000 No, I listen when it's convenient.

01:21:21.000 But a cross tattoo is so sexy.

01:21:23.000 It makes me look spiritual and it thins out my back.

01:21:27.000 That's the other point of people get pissed when you create your own.

01:21:31.000 It's like, What do you mean create your own?

01:21:32.000 It's not.

01:21:33.000 There are some absolute truths that fall from heaven.

01:21:36.000 Oh, stop. 1.00

01:21:36.000 All of the people are making up their own shit anyway. 1.00

01:21:40.000 I mean, when people say they follow something, it's bullshit, really. 1.00

01:21:43.000 They are making up their own thing because they will edit some parts that they don't like. 0.95

01:21:47.000 They will focus on the parts they like and pretend that it's the one and only interpretation.

01:21:52.000 It's like...

01:21:53.000 If you're going to do that, might as well be honest and just pick from any source if you're going to pick and choose.

01:21:58.000 I think that religion in general in the future is much more likely to be studied and less likely to be practiced.

01:22:05.000 Right.

01:22:06.000 Because I think, especially in a really hardcore fundamentalist form, it's much less likely that people are going to accept that as time goes on and information gets distributed Right.

01:22:20.000 But then again, people will always be afraid of dying.

01:22:24.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:22:24.000 People will always be afraid of, you know, where do we come from?

01:22:28.000 Is there any meaning in the universe?

01:22:30.000 And pure rationality doesn't give you very satisfactory answers.

01:22:34.000 No.

01:22:35.000 It does not.

01:22:36.000 So when you want answers and you can't get them through reason, in that case it's like, well... 0.99

01:22:41.000 Fuck reason then. 0.99

01:22:42.000 Just give me any answer because I can't deal with not having some and living that way. 1.00

01:22:46.000 I need some solid basis.

01:22:48.000 I used to have a whole bit about that. 0.98

01:22:50.000 I would really like to join a cult if anybody could fucking write one that doesn't make me throw up when I read it. 0.96

01:22:57.000 Just one of you guys. 0.99

01:22:58.000 Isn't there a smart guy out there that can write Some much more believable shit than Scientology or Mormonism or any of the newcomers. 1.00

01:23:07.000 Those are the two latest, greatest newcomers that really stuck. 0.98

01:23:13.000 Mormonism and Scientology. 1.00

01:23:14.000 And they're both fucking cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. 1.00

01:23:17.000 You read both of them. 0.99

01:23:18.000 They're hilarious. 1.00

01:23:19.000 There's planets and shit. 0.99

01:23:21.000 They both have extra planets. 1.00

01:23:22.000 They both have planets where they know some shit's going down. 0.99

01:23:25.000 Both of them. 0.99

01:23:26.000 Scientology and Mormonism. 0.95

01:23:28.000 Like Kolob, right?

01:23:29.000 Isn't that the Mormon planet? 0.99

01:23:31.000 In their story, there's some really...

01:23:33.000 My favorite Mormon story is how pre-1970s most Mormons believed that dark skin is a sign that God hates your guts, basically.

01:23:42.000 That is... 0.75

01:23:43.000 Wow.

01:23:44.000 In the 1930s, that was fairly mainstream view.

01:23:49.000 I wonder what made them change their mind.

01:23:50.000 Exactly.

01:23:51.000 In the 1970s, suddenly God sent a memo saying, wait, wait, you guys got it wrong.

01:23:56.000 Dark skin is totally cool.

01:23:57.000 I have nothing against it.

01:23:59.000 You just made a mistake.

01:24:00.000 It's like the civil rights movement managed to convince not just millions of Americans but God himself that racism is no longer cool.

01:24:07.000 Yeah, God didn't understand.

01:24:09.000 Until he saw Martin Luther King give that speech.

01:24:11.000 That's how strong that I have a dream speech is.

01:24:14.000 That's why to be the whole pretense that it's divinely revealed, falls from the sky one day.

01:24:19.000 It's so funny because people, when it doesn't make sense anymore, people will change it. 0.99

01:24:24.000 Because it's like, I can't really go around saying this shit anymore. 0.97

01:24:26.000 It doesn't... 0.99

01:24:27.000 So, hey, we got it wrong.

01:24:29.000 God meant this other way, really, all along.

01:24:31.000 Everything we've been saying for the last hundred years is just a misinterpreted thing.

01:24:37.000 God was right. 0.64

01:24:38.000 We were wrong.

01:24:39.000 Yeah, of course.

01:24:39.000 Yeah.

01:24:40.000 Whoops.

01:24:41.000 Whoopsies.

01:24:42.000 Isn't that like when... 0.99

01:24:45.000 Martin Luther translated the Bible into a phonetic form, and then the people started interpreting it, and then going, well, how come no one's practicing any of this shit? 0.99

01:24:54.000 How come you guys are all... 1.00

01:24:56.000 Why the fuck do you have so much money? 1.00

01:24:58.000 What's going on? 1.00

01:24:59.000 Why are we peasants forever?

01:25:00.000 It doesn't say that here. 1.00

01:25:02.000 You guys made this shit up. 1.00

01:25:04.000 You made all this shit up about being a peasant and ordained a peasant forever, but then you'll be rewarded for your toils in heaven. 1.00

01:25:11.000 That's not in here. 0.99

01:25:11.000 No, definitely. 0.99

01:25:12.000 It doesn't say in here you're a peasant for life.

01:25:15.000 That's the part that I have always the most fun in regards to people making up their own stuff with Christianity.

01:25:21.000 It's like, you want to be Christian? 0.99

01:25:22.000 Hey, there's good stuff.

01:25:24.000 Hold for it.

01:25:24.000 But then, how are you capitalist at the same time?

01:25:27.000 Because there are so many passages where they are so hardcore.

01:25:30.000 I mean, you have the Jesus, it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven.

01:25:39.000 Jesus said that? 1.00

01:25:41.000 Damn, Jesus. 1.00

01:25:42.000 That shit's deep. 1.00

01:25:43.000 Karl Marx would blush. 1.00

01:25:44.000 You know what I mean? 0.96

01:25:45.000 He's like, really fucking that far? 0.99

01:25:47.000 Wow. 0.99

01:25:48.000 And that shows up over and over again.

01:25:50.000 A bunch of passages are anti-accumulation of wealth.

01:25:53.000 Yeah.

01:25:54.000 And so it's like, so you're going to be Christian, but you're going to be hardcore capitalist.

01:25:58.000 It's like, yeah, because I'm done with Jesus. 0.99

01:25:59.000 That part about money, I'll just skip over those passages, and I'll focus on some weird interpretation of one passage that may seem that he says something else, and I'm going to ignore the other 19 where he's clearly stating, fuck, accumulation of wealth. 0.91

01:26:13.000 Yeah, that was the other thing that they had... 0.54

01:26:16.000 What the book found in the translations was that Jesus hung out with people like them.

01:26:20.000 Jesus hung out with the poor and the downtrodden and the prostitutes and that's who Jesus was piling around with. 0.99

01:26:27.000 Like, what the fuck have you guys been teaching us? 0.98

01:26:30.000 And so the people that wanted to go even further than Martin Luther, these Anabaptist? 1.00

01:26:36.000 I guess, is that anarchy baptist?

01:26:38.000 Is that a combination of the two?

01:26:39.000 No, it's baptism for a second time. 0.99

01:26:41.000 Because basically they rejected infant baptism because they said, baby doesn't have a fucking choice. 0.98

01:26:46.000 It needs to be an adult choice. 0.98

01:26:48.000 So they would baptize you as an adult when you want to.

01:26:50.000 Right, and then the third baptism was when they drowned you.

01:26:53.000 Yeah, if they catch you, right, if they catch you, and either Lutherans or Catholics, if they would catch you, then they would decide it was, their way of being funny was to drown you, since it's, oh, you like two baptisms, we'll give you a third one. 0.86

01:27:07.000 And anabaptism, anabaptist thinking, that just, that does sound like anarchistic, you know, anabaptist.

01:27:17.000 And they were really radical, huh?

01:27:19.000 They wanted no private property.

01:27:22.000 They wanted free education, free healthcare. 1.00

01:27:27.000 Those damn communists. 1.00

01:27:28.000 Meanwhile, why is that bad? 1.00

01:27:31.000 This is what drives me crazy.

01:27:33.000 It's not that I don't think that people should be able to have land.

01:27:37.000 I definitely think that you should be able to have land.

01:27:40.000 But why is it so bad to say that you shouldn't?

01:27:44.000 Why is everybody so committed to hanging on to it?

01:27:48.000 Let's hear this out.

01:27:49.000 What if we don't have land?

01:27:51.000 Let's have it this way.

01:27:52.000 What if the world consists of Jamie, Brian, you, and me, okay?

01:27:57.000 We're the only four people left in the world.

01:27:59.000 No one left.

01:28:01.000 Okay, but the good news is we're on Catalina Island, and that's all there is.

01:28:07.000 Can't we just share it? 0.99

01:28:08.000 What the fuck? 0.99

01:28:09.000 I'll put my house over here. 1.00

01:28:10.000 You put your house over there.

01:28:11.000 I'll say hi in the morning.

01:28:12.000 We got a house on this spot of dirt.

01:28:15.000 That gets problematic when you get into the 300 million people range. 1.00

01:28:18.000 That's the fucking problem. 0.99

01:28:20.000 The problem is there's too goddamn many of us. 1.00

01:28:22.000 And everybody would want a house right by the lake. 0.90

01:28:24.000 Like you...

01:28:25.000 I've been by the lake.

01:28:26.000 There's too many of us, dude.

01:28:27.000 You can't have a house by the lake.

01:28:28.000 Right.

01:28:28.000 But come on, man.

01:28:29.000 Well, we were here first, so listen, this is our land now.

01:28:31.000 We have a house by the lake. 0.99

01:28:32.000 Man, that's fucked up. 0.99

01:28:33.000 This is our world. 0.99

01:28:34.000 We're all in this together.

01:28:35.000 It is all in this together. 0.99

01:28:36.000 But I was born in 1947, and I've had this house by the lake, and I'm not giving up my fucking house by the lake. 0.98

01:28:41.000 Right. 0.97

01:28:41.000 Well, can I use your house by the lake? 0.97

01:28:42.000 No, you can't, bitch. 1.00

01:28:43.000 I'll shoot you. 1.00

01:28:46.000 The problem is there's too many of us, and there's not enough cool spots. 1.00

01:28:50.000 Right. 0.99

01:28:50.000 That's the real fucking problem. 0.99

01:28:51.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:28:53.000 It's not private property.

01:28:55.000 Right.

01:28:55.000 Because really it would be perfect if we all, you know, if we all had use of everything.

01:29:00.000 That would be amazing.

01:29:01.000 You don't have, it's not my laptop or my table, it's the table, it's the laptop.

01:29:06.000 Is there a laptop I can use?

01:29:07.000 Yeah, you can use that laptop.

01:29:08.000 You know, it's like, that would be beautiful if that worked.

01:29:12.000 Right, exactly.

01:29:13.000 In Utopia land, it's perfect.

01:29:15.000 In Utopia land.

01:29:16.000 It's ideal, you know, that is the way you would want to live.

01:29:18.000 I want to live in Utopia land.

01:29:19.000 Yeah.

01:29:20.000 That's one of the things that I... That I've always wondered.

01:29:24.000 Will we see a utopia?

01:29:26.000 Will we see a working utopia in our time? 0.98

01:29:29.000 A working community where no one's a cunt? 0.99

01:29:33.000 Community, I buy it. 0.99

01:29:34.000 On a small scale, sure.

01:29:36.000 But it would have to start as a community.

01:29:39.000 The best you could do, I think, is probably a couple of thousand people.

01:29:44.000 Before it started getting wacky.

01:29:46.000 And you would have to have meetings and everybody would have to really talk about let's make sure we avoid all the pitfalls that have fell on all societies before us.

01:29:56.000 It's not easy. 0.95

01:29:57.000 That's some serious end-of-the-world type shit, though. 0.94

01:30:00.000 That's the only way that would ever happen. 0.99

01:30:01.000 Right. 0.99

01:30:02.000 And I guess today there's a better way to go about it, because whereas in the past, if you do that, you run off into the mountains, create your one community where all the other bastards can... 0.82

01:30:12.000 Today, you can have an element where you have your local community.

01:30:16.000 And at the same time, you're connected to a wider world in a way that doesn't isolate you, doesn't make you weird and cultish, and cut you off from everything else.

01:30:24.000 Because that was always the downside of the small community.

01:30:27.000 Daniele Bolelli, party pooper.

01:30:29.000 That's what I just heard out of your statement.

01:30:32.000 You don't need to understand the cult perfectly.

01:30:35.000 Okay, I was just kidding.

01:30:37.000 Let's head out for the mountains.

01:30:38.000 That's what I'm saying!

01:30:39.000 Let's do it, dude.

01:30:40.000 Let's do it. 1.00

01:30:41.000 On elk with spears and shit. 0.99

01:30:43.000 Nobody can say a word. 1.00

01:30:45.000 Start our own families.

01:30:47.000 You don't want to separate from society. 0.91

01:30:49.000 Society is pretty fucking awesome. 0.99

01:30:51.000 It's just we need to figure out a way to fix society and lessen the amount of shitty people, shitty products, our product of creating human beings. 0.99

01:31:01.000 We need to figure out a way to make less of those guys in Cleveland that kidnap girls and keep them locked in their basement for 10 years. 0.97

01:31:08.000 That should be our number one priority, not curing lack of boners. 0.88

01:31:13.000 Right. 0.99

01:31:15.000 Not arresting people for fucking selling boner pills at 7-Eleven either, Brian. 0.99

01:31:19.000 Did you hear about that? 0.99

01:31:20.000 They need to cut it out.

01:31:21.000 They came in and they busted all those and it was exactly as Aubrey had said. 1.00

01:31:25.000 Aubrey told us that the reason why those dick pills work is because they fill them up with Cialis and Viagra and shit. 0.99

01:31:30.000 That's exactly what it was. 1.00

01:31:32.000 It was all Cialis and Viagra.

01:31:33.000 Oh, okay, okay.

01:31:34.000 And it sucks because it's getting harder to find the good ones now.

01:31:37.000 Why don't you just get a prescription for Cialis? 0.60

01:31:39.000 Because I don't really need it.

01:31:41.000 It's just fun to do it.

01:31:42.000 But you can get it.

01:31:42.000 You don't need it.

01:31:43.000 You can get it.

01:31:44.000 Yeah.

01:31:44.000 You can get one.

01:31:45.000 You say, hey, my dick's not working that good. 1.00

01:31:47.000 There's a lot of unscrupulous doctors. 1.00

01:31:49.000 They would write you off a prescription. 1.00

01:31:50.000 That way you don't have to fuck around with something. 0.99

01:31:51.000 You don't even know what it is. 1.00

01:31:52.000 If you take a Viagra, you know that's a Viagra.

01:31:56.000 So you're going crazy. 1.00

01:31:57.000 You're playing Russian roulette with your health with some 7-Eleven fucking stuff that looks like Pop Rocks. 0.99

01:32:02.000 You're throwing it into your drink and shaking it up. 1.00

01:32:04.000 This is a real sex enhancer. 1.00

01:32:07.000 Meanwhile, it's like seven times the normal level of Cialis you're supposed to take, and you're going to break your dick one day. 0.99

01:32:12.000 You're going to get that priapism. 1.00

01:32:14.000 You have to drain your dick with a needle. 0.99

01:32:15.000 What's funny is the one that's the Cialis one, the pills have gotten bigger on some of them, and it says now it lasts up to seven days, and then on the back it says only take one every 24 hours, so I've taken like three. 0.99

01:32:28.000 The seven-day ones?

01:32:31.000 24 hours?

01:32:32.000 No, I take a three in a week, but that's a week's worth of boners. 0.78

01:32:36.000 So that's like 49 boners in one boner.

01:32:38.000 You should not do that. 1.00

01:32:40.000 You're going to break your dick. 1.00

01:32:41.000 Your dick's not going to work without him. 1.00

01:32:43.000 That's what's going to happen. 1.00

01:32:44.000 And you're going to also, confidence-wise, you're going to rely on that Wonder Dick. 1.00

01:32:48.000 You're going to go, how am I going to fuck a girl with my regular dick? 1.00

01:32:52.000 My regular dick just doesn't get that hard. 1.00

01:32:54.000 But when I'm on Wonder Dick... 1.00

01:32:56.000 I mean, I masturbate every day, though, so I would know immediately. 0.99

01:32:58.000 Well, you're on pills every day. 0.99

01:33:00.000 You're constantly masturbating. 0.99

01:33:01.000 You're masturbating while you're on Viagra. 1.00

01:33:04.000 I take breaks. 1.00

01:33:04.000 Oh, good. 1.00

01:33:06.000 You cycle on and off.

01:33:08.000 I took one on stage in Sacramento because I had one on me.

01:33:12.000 It was called Goldrilla, and it's this gold gorilla on the front.

01:33:16.000 And I was showing everybody, and somebody's like, take it!

01:33:19.000 And I'm like, all right, I'll take it.

01:33:20.000 I open it up and I put it in my mouth and it accidentally breaks in my mouth.

01:33:24.000 You know how the capsules...

01:33:25.000 So you tasted it.

01:33:26.000 It was this boner.

01:33:27.000 I couldn't talk because it was so much powder. 0.84

01:33:29.000 It just exploded in my mouth.

01:33:31.000 And it was the most disgusting thing ever.

01:33:33.000 But then I had a crazy boner for like... 0.70

01:33:35.000 Three days. 0.99

01:33:37.000 Isn't it amazing that they're still killing rhinos to give Chinese dudes boners? 1.00

01:33:43.000 Do they not know about the boner pills? 0.92

01:33:46.000 Do they not know about Viagra?

01:33:47.000 Is that possible?

01:33:48.000 What's that horny goat seed all about? 0.99

01:33:51.000 Do they kill goats?

01:33:52.000 Horny goat weed.

01:33:54.000 I don't know.

01:33:55.000 I think that's a mood enhancer.

01:33:57.000 Let's go with that.

01:33:58.000 I'm going to read that.

01:33:59.000 I've never taken horny goat weed in any mass quantities.

01:34:03.000 Maybe I've taken it once or twice.

01:34:04.000 As an ingredient in something else?

01:34:07.000 Right.

01:34:08.000 Yeah, they've been knocking them down a lot lately, though.

01:34:10.000 There's been at least 10 different companies that have been hit by that thing where they made them pull the pills because there was Viagra in them.

01:34:18.000 So, what is it?

01:34:19.000 Trademark infringement or something?

01:34:21.000 No, they're selling prescription drugs mixed with, like, apples.

01:34:24.000 Oh, and they weren't sold as potassium.

01:34:26.000 Yeah, and calling it just a supplement.

01:34:28.000 It's called Epimedium.

01:34:31.000 That's what horny goat weed is, yeah. 0.99

01:34:34.000 It's called E-P-I-M-E medium.

01:34:40.000 And it's also known as barrenwort, bishop's hat, fairy wings, horny goat weed, rowdy lamb, herb, randy beef grass.

01:34:49.000 It's all about like bonerific stuff. 1.00

01:34:51.000 Yeah, you smoke that shit. 0.99

01:34:52.000 It's a genus of 60 or more species of flowering plants in the family of... 1.00

01:34:57.000 I don't even know how to say that.

01:35:01.000 I'm not the only one.

01:35:03.000 This is a hard one.

01:35:05.000 Well, let's try this.

01:35:06.000 B-E-R-B-E-R-I-D-A-C-E-A-E. Berberidice.

01:35:17.000 Large majority who are endemic to southern China.

01:35:21.000 What is it supposed to do?

01:35:23.000 Aphrodisiac.

01:35:24.000 Bam, son.

01:35:25.000 Let's hear, Brian, what it does.

01:35:27.000 Many species, qualities associated with content of Icarin.

01:35:32.000 According to legend, this property was discovered by a Chinese goat herder who noticed the sexual activity in his flock. 0.98

01:35:39.000 See, same story as the fucking the cordyceps mushrooms. 1.00

01:35:43.000 It's probably a bullshit story. 1.00

01:35:44.000 It's probably some marketing shit from the 1400s, both with the mushroom and with this horny goat weed. 1.00

01:35:49.000 Totally. 1.00

01:35:49.000 Even though the mushroom stuff does fucking work. 1.00

01:35:52.000 I had mixed it in my mind. 0.98

01:35:54.000 When you were telling earlier, Brian, about, hey, why are you taking those pills?

01:35:57.000 You don't know what's in it. 0.99

01:35:58.000 I was picturing your early story about the zombie ants, and I was imagining, like, that mushroom going into the pill that Brian takes, and this dick exploding. 1.00

01:36:06.000 Oh, yeah, it could be. 0.99

01:36:07.000 Sorry, by the way.

01:36:09.000 That could be going on inside of his little body. 1.00

01:36:11.000 He dies, and his dick becomes like a fireworks display. 0.99

01:36:14.000 A lot of these supplements that you take, these butter pills, are actually ants. 1.00

01:36:17.000 Ants.

01:36:17.000 Tons of African, I think it's African black ants.

01:36:21.000 What?

01:36:21.000 Yeah, we've talked about this before on the podcast.

01:36:23.000 The boner pills?

01:36:24.000 Yeah, a lot of them, because if you just type in boner pill ant, you'll have a bunch of stuff.

01:36:28.000 Oh, that's right.

01:36:29.000 We did talk about that, but I think we got sidetracked and never came to a rational conclusion.

01:36:33.000 Yeah, because- I think it was one of those.

01:36:35.000 One of the pills, actually, that was pulled by whatever the FDA last week was even called something like boner ants or something like that. 0.98

01:36:42.000 This is, I'll give you the rundown scientifically if anybody gives a shit. 0.89

01:36:46.000 It actually apparently does have a similar effect to nitric oxide supplements, which also give you boners, which is also one of the reasons why Viagra is a performance enhancing supplement. 0.98

01:36:58.000 A lot of athletes, I think it's banned from the Olympics.

01:37:01.000 I think you can't use Viagra anymore.

01:37:04.000 Why?

01:37:04.000 Because it gives you a boost, an athletic boost.

01:37:08.000 I think it's an endurance boost. 1.00

01:37:10.000 The same thing it does when it gives your dick this crazy fucking wonder dick. 1.00

01:37:14.000 It also does that for the rest of your body. 1.00

01:37:16.000 It increases blood flow or something.

01:37:18.000 They didn't know that.

01:37:19.000 Yeah, you're recycling your blood in more parts of your body.

01:37:22.000 Something around what he said, but with some science that none of us really know.

01:37:27.000 You're getting that brain juice, putting it all aside.

01:37:29.000 So this stuff, like Sildenafil.

01:37:37.000 So that's Viagra. 0.63

01:37:39.000 Viagra is Sildenafil.

01:37:41.000 I'm probably butchering it.

01:37:42.000 But it's S-I-L-D-E-N-A-F-I-L. And that's, let's call that Viagra.

01:37:48.000 This stuff that it produces called Icarin, I-C-A-R-I-I-N, the active compound in Epidemium inhibits, Epimedium rather, inhibits the activity of PDE5. And so what this PDE5 shit is, 0.97

01:38:04.000 it works the same way. 1.00

01:38:06.000 With horny goat weed inhibiting it as it does with Viagra. 1.00

01:38:12.000 So it probably would work, but it probably wouldn't work as good because I think that Viagra shit is like nuclear. 0.99

01:38:20.000 I think they've got it down. 1.00

01:38:21.000 This is like, I think my dick's got a little harder. 1.00

01:38:24.000 But you take a Viagra and your dick just slam! 1.00

01:38:27.000 Just fucking gets like body slammed against your zipper. 1.00

01:38:31.000 It's like, where are we partying tonight?! 1.00

01:38:34.000 Your dick is just really rowdy and obnoxious and unrealistic. 1.00

01:38:39.000 You can feel your heartbeat on the very bottom of it. 1.00

01:38:41.000 I love that. 1.00

01:38:42.000 Your heartbeat on the bottom of your dick. 1.00

01:38:43.000 Yeah, like that vein that goes down the bottom. 1.00

01:38:45.000 Yeah, and don't measure your heart rate then, because that's not your resting heart rate.

01:38:49.000 You're not resting right there.

01:38:51.000 No. 1.00

01:38:51.000 Your dick is going crazy. 1.00

01:38:53.000 Your dick's turning into a zombie. 1.00

01:38:55.000 Yeah, even old dudes that are barely alive, they can take a couple of Viagras and... 1.00

01:38:59.000 Stick a finger up their ass and bam! 1.00

01:39:01.000 It is so fun going to massage parlors on Viagra because you can't stop it! 1.00

01:39:06.000 You're just like, what is going on?

01:39:07.000 You do it on purpose.

01:39:08.000 You're just pretending you're the super freak. 0.87

01:39:10.000 Like, baby, I'm just a super freak.

01:39:11.000 I don't even know what's up. 0.99

01:39:12.000 I'm trying not to think about sex, but just have you in the room while I'm on 7,000 milligrams of venafinol, sildafinol, or whatever the fuck this stuff is called. 0.98

01:39:23.000 I'm starting to think that in the 70s I would have a raincoat, you know? 0.99

01:39:26.000 Oh, you probably would.

01:39:27.000 Well, if you didn't have a podcast, you'd have a raincoat. 1.00

01:39:29.000 How about that, you fuck? 1.00

01:39:32.000 I've just turned into this now. 1.00

01:39:35.000 Well, the problem is it's more fun than not doing it.

01:39:38.000 Oh, yeah.

01:39:38.000 That's why you're liking it.

01:39:39.000 You're liking doing it. 0.99

01:39:40.000 People are like, why would he like to have hard-ons and go to massage parlors and get jerked off? 0.99

01:39:43.000 Hmm. 0.98

01:39:45.000 Why wouldn't he? 1.00

01:39:47.000 I didn't say anything about jerking off. 0.99

01:39:49.000 I added that in for comic relief. 0.99

01:39:51.000 Of course. 0.69

01:39:52.000 I'm just displaying my boner for this poor girl. 1.00

01:39:54.000 I only added that in to lighten up the moment so it doesn't seem as much like sexual assault. 0.98

01:40:00.000 Right.

01:40:02.000 This one girl had a tan line from the rope the other day. 1.00

01:40:05.000 From a rope?

01:40:06.000 What do you mean?

01:40:08.000 What rope?

01:40:09.000 When she was carried into this country, I think. 1.00

01:40:11.000 Oh, you son of a bitch. 1.00

01:40:13.000 In San Francisco, those are fresh. 1.00

01:40:14.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

01:40:15.000 They are so fresh. 1.00

01:40:16.000 I was like, either she had a watch and she went tanning and she took off her watch, or that's from rope. 0.95

01:40:25.000 That's ridiculous. 0.97

01:40:27.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:40:29.000 I don't even want to talk about it.

01:40:31.000 Why?

01:40:32.000 It's a scary subject.

01:40:34.000 Well, that website that I always talk about, I feel like I shouldn't talk about it anymore.

01:40:37.000 You shouldn't talk about it.

01:40:38.000 It's going to get taken away.

01:40:39.000 It's going to get taken away and you're going to get monitored by the government because there's a boner police out there and they don't like people getting their boners taken care of in illegal manners. 0.83

01:40:47.000 That's what's going on.

01:40:49.000 That's some of the lamest ways to spend tax dollars of all time. 0.98

01:40:54.000 Stopping dudes from getting jerked off at handy massage parlors. 0.99

01:40:59.000 You know what really sucks? 0.98

01:41:00.000 They have undercover sting operations. 0.75

01:41:04.000 Well, I went in there at 3 p.m.

01:41:05.000 with my boner. 0.61

01:41:06.000 I took boner pills just to be sure.

01:41:08.000 I told her I won a full service.

01:41:10.000 She said hard.

01:41:11.000 I tapped her leg twice. 1.00

01:41:12.000 She grabbed my cock and I threw her on the ground. 1.00

01:41:15.000 I think there's two things I wouldn't mind getting arrested for. 1.00

01:41:17.000 One is having weed on me or selling or smoking weed, you know, or prostitution. 0.98

01:41:23.000 I don't...

01:41:23.000 Like, both of those, who cares?

01:41:25.000 Like, what? 1.00

01:41:25.000 Oh, you like the fuck and you like weed? 1.00

01:41:26.000 Who cares? 1.00

01:41:27.000 Well, officer, when I threw her to the ground to make the arrest, I came all over her face. 1.00

01:41:33.000 Completely coincidentally.

01:41:35.000 What can I say?

01:41:36.000 I'm a red-blooded American man. 0.99

01:41:39.000 The fact that prostitution is still illegal in 49 and a half states in the US is fucking insane. 0.98

01:41:45.000 It seems like a mistake. 0.99

01:41:47.000 It seems like a mistake to tell people that they can fuck people as much as they like, but they can't get paid for it. 0.99

01:41:53.000 But you can marry a guy that you don't really love, and you can fuck him, and then you can divorce him and make money off of it. 0.99

01:41:59.000 And then they'll write songs about you. 1.00

01:42:01.000 And it's okay. 1.00

01:42:03.000 You're allowed to be a gold digger, but you can't be a whore. 1.00

01:42:05.000 That is fucking fascinating. 1.00

01:42:07.000 And you're not even allowed to be a gold digger. 1.00

01:42:09.000 Because women are like, look at that bitch. 1.00

01:42:10.000 You know she doesn't even love him. 1.00

01:42:11.000 He's fucking old as shit. 1.00

01:42:13.000 Bitch, she is 40 years younger than him. 1.00

01:42:16.000 What the fuck do they have in common? 1.00

01:42:19.000 It's prostitution! 1.00

01:42:21.000 What does it have in common?

01:42:21.000 She came from Thailand.

01:42:22.000 He's got a billion dollars. 1.00

01:42:24.000 Shut your hole. 0.99

01:42:24.000 You know exactly what it is. 0.99

01:42:26.000 Let it happen.

01:42:27.000 Yeah, I mean, consenting adults. 1.00

01:42:29.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:42:30.000 How does it affect you, you fuck? 1.00

01:42:31.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:42:32.000 To me, it's like, you're not hurting anybody else.

01:42:34.000 No. 0.99

01:42:34.000 As long as there's no, nobody's forced, there's no underage shit, there's none of that. 0.99

01:42:39.000 As long as it's consenting adults, back the fuck off. 1.00

01:42:42.000 Let people live how they want. 0.99

01:42:43.000 Yeah, who cares?

01:42:44.000 And there's, you know, there's an argument that... 0.57

01:42:49.000 There's nothing wrong with sex, so why should there be anything wrong with paying for sex?

01:42:54.000 And the reason why it seems like such a terrible thing to us now is that It's frowned upon.

01:43:02.000 It's looked down upon.

01:43:02.000 But if you look at what it actually is, it's just sex.

01:43:06.000 It's weird to massage people, right? 0.97

01:43:09.000 You got to pay someone to massage you. 1.00

01:43:12.000 So you go to a place where they guarantee everybody wants to fuck, okay? 1.00

01:43:17.000 Guys want to fuck. 1.00

01:43:18.000 Girls want to fuck. 1.00

01:43:18.000 That makes sense to me. 1.00

01:43:19.000 But nobody wants to give you a fucking massage. 1.00

01:43:22.000 They do not want to give you a goddamn massage. 1.00

01:43:25.000 Girls don't want to give you a massage. 1.00

01:43:26.000 They'll do it for a little while.

01:43:27.000 They'll do it if they love you.

01:43:28.000 I'll give a massage to someone I love, but the reality is I don't want to do it. 1.00

01:43:32.000 Shit's a lot of work. 1.00

01:43:34.000 But sex is not a lot of work, but yet you can pay for the massage and you can't pay for sex. 1.00

01:43:39.000 That is purely Puritan values because it is essentially the same thing. 0.89

01:43:43.000 90% of us will never get paid to massage someone and 90% of us will never get paid to have sex with someone. 0.99

01:43:51.000 Those numbers, I fucking made up. 0.99

01:43:53.000 Who cares? 0.99

01:43:54.000 They sound good.

01:43:54.000 I'm doing the math here.

01:43:56.000 Help me. 0.99

01:43:57.000 But the reality is, they're the same goddamn thing. 0.99

01:44:00.000 It's the same goddamn thing. 0.99

01:44:03.000 Absolutely. 0.99

01:44:03.000 I agree it should be your choice. 0.99

01:44:05.000 Right. 0.99

01:44:06.000 If you're fucking skeeved out by feet and you go to massage people but you don't mind giving head, that's you. 0.99

01:44:11.000 That's you, man. 0.99

01:44:12.000 Absolutely.

01:44:12.000 That's okay.

01:44:14.000 And to me, it's more honest than a lot of people...

01:44:17.000 Than fleshlights?

01:44:18.000 How about that? 0.99

01:44:19.000 We hacked those for two fucking years. 0.99

01:44:21.000 It's way more honest to pay a person to do it. 1.00

01:44:23.000 And lying and hooking up just really because you want to fuck somebody. 0.99

01:44:27.000 Although fleshlights are very good. 1.00

01:44:29.000 No, I'm all for that.

01:44:31.000 Oh, and by the way, people have been emailing me 1,700 times saying, Tell Joe to get you a flashlight.

01:44:37.000 He still has some in his closet, I'm sure.

01:44:38.000 Probably, preferably.

01:44:39.000 Did he give you a flashlight?

01:44:40.000 You wanted one?

01:44:41.000 Well, you should have emailed me before I got here.

01:44:43.000 I still have a deal in the closet.

01:44:44.000 I ate them.

01:44:45.000 I fed them to my chickens.

01:44:46.000 Cream out and grip.

01:44:49.000 No, but the thing is like the stuff you're saying about how people perceive sex is really not okay in some way.

01:44:55.000 Yeah.

01:44:55.000 It's a Puritan vibe.

01:44:57.000 Mostly American though, right? 0.88

01:44:58.000 Yeah.

01:44:58.000 I mean, that's where my weird fobish thing come in.

01:45:01.000 Because when I came to the US and I was trying to ask, you know, you're learning new language, you're picking up new words. 0.94

01:45:06.000 And so I heard the word slut. 0.99

01:45:08.000 I'm like, slut? 1.00

01:45:09.000 What the fuck does it mean? 1.00

01:45:09.000 It's like, well, a woman who's kind of indiscriminately having sex left and right, blah, blah, blah. 1.00

01:45:14.000 And I was like, well, if sex is a good thing, Dennis Lutz, somebody who freely gives sex away indiscriminately left and right, is kind of like a humanitarian, like a philanthropist, some sort of sexual Mother Teresa. 0.94

01:45:28.000 That's a beautiful thing, right? 0.97

01:45:30.000 No, it's really, really bad.

01:45:32.000 Wait, why?

01:45:33.000 Let me try again. 0.99

01:45:34.000 That shit doesn't make sense to me. 1.00

01:45:36.000 Wasn't there a woman in Italy that made it to the parliament that was a porn star? 1.00

01:45:40.000 Cicciolina, yes, of course. 1.00

01:45:41.000 What a great name for a dirty bitch. 1.00

01:45:44.000 Cicciolina. 1.00

01:45:45.000 That's Italy for you, right? 0.84

01:45:46.000 What a good kid. 1.00

01:45:47.000 Porn star. 0.99

01:45:48.000 Actually, it happened multiple times.

01:45:49.000 She was the first, and then a few others done the same thing, and they all got elected.

01:45:53.000 In Italy, it's like, I'm going to vote for this annoying old guy or this annoying old guy. 0.99

01:45:58.000 Hey, there's the porn star. 0.99

01:45:59.000 No-brainer! 1.00

01:46:00.000 Obviously we worked for her. 0.59

01:46:02.000 Hilariously.

01:46:02.000 The place up north with the tanline girl, I think it was a GFE place, which is the girlfriend experiment or experience.

01:46:11.000 And it sucked because when she was done, like she didn't want to massage me at all. 1.00

01:46:15.000 She just was kind of just like crawling on me, like tapping me. 1.00

01:46:18.000 It was like bullshit. 0.99

01:46:19.000 But then at the end of it, she just wanted to lay down next to me. 1.00

01:46:22.000 So we were both like laying down.

01:46:24.000 And then she fell asleep and it was so sad.

01:46:26.000 I'm like, alright, I'm just going to stay here for a bit, I guess.

01:46:28.000 She's sleeping.

01:46:29.000 What's going to happen?

01:46:30.000 And then a door slams. 0.99

01:46:32.000 I don't know if somebody else was coming in or if it was the madam going, what the fuck? 1.00

01:46:36.000 And she gets up real quick and goes, oh, thank you. 0.99

01:46:38.000 I'll be right back with tea.

01:46:39.000 And I'm like, oh my god, this poor girl just fell asleep on me. 0.99

01:46:43.000 That's so sad.

01:46:44.000 I know.

01:46:45.000 It's the saddest thing in the world.

01:46:49.000 She probably blacked out from shame. 0.97

01:46:51.000 Yeah.

01:46:53.000 I'm trying to deal with this Viagra-induced direction.

01:46:57.000 It ranges three and a half hours.

01:46:58.000 Yeah, it's probably just shock.

01:47:00.000 Like when you corner a little mouse, scream at it.

01:47:04.000 It just freezes.

01:47:04.000 It's like a fainting goat.

01:47:06.000 Horny goat weed. 0.92

01:47:07.000 It's a fainting horny goat weed. 0.98

01:47:08.000 A fainting horny goat. 0.95

01:47:12.000 It's a weird aspect that we have this thing. 0.99

01:47:15.000 We're weirded out about sex.

01:47:16.000 But that's how this country got started.

01:47:18.000 It got started by Puritans.

01:47:20.000 People forget that. 1.00

01:47:20.000 The echoes of the retards that fucking founded this place, they're still here. 1.00

01:47:26.000 They were religious fanatics. 1.00

01:47:28.000 You heard about this stuff about the Puritans coming here for religious freedom. 1.00

01:47:32.000 It's total bullshit. 1.00

01:47:33.000 They didn't come here for religious freedom. 1.00

01:47:34.000 They came here for the freedom not to be persecuted.

01:47:37.000 It's a whole different game.

01:47:39.000 It doesn't mean we don't want to persecute somebody else.

01:47:41.000 We just don't want to be persecuted.

01:47:42.000 It's not religious freedom. 0.63

01:47:44.000 They support their own freedom.

01:47:45.000 I don't like my place in the game.

01:47:48.000 I have nothing against the game itself as long as I get to be on top. 1.00

01:47:53.000 And the Puritans are actually fucking Native Americans, piling them up and stacking them and whacking them. 1.00

01:48:00.000 And those are the guys who consider the church in England as crazy liberals. 0.99

01:48:06.000 They are the Puritans who are the hardcore fundamentalists of their day, much like fundamentalists today. 0.95

01:48:12.000 Back then there was no Hollywood, so they were pissed about the Theatre of London.

01:48:15.000 They're like, there's all this sex and spectacle and this and that.

01:48:18.000 Exactly the same arguments that you hear today about fundamentalist entertainment industry.

01:48:24.000 Exactly the same thing as in the 15-1600s you would hear with the Puritans. 0.53

01:48:28.000 It's amazing.

01:48:29.000 So what happened?

01:48:30.000 They came over first?

01:48:31.000 Or they were of the first to come over here?

01:48:34.000 Yeah, no, they were the...

01:48:36.000 Well, no, you're right, because at first they had this other settlement in Jamestown in Virginia, and then like 13 years later, not that long later, they had one, Plymouth Rock, the famous one, which is the Puritans and all of that.

01:48:47.000 And these were guys that England was more than happy to get rid of, because it's like...

01:48:51.000 They are weird, they are crazy, they are annoying, they are too much, so please go, yeah, go settle the new world. 0.61

01:48:56.000 That's a great idea. 0.97

01:48:57.000 These guys were happy to leave because they felt that they could start their own society where Puritan values would rule, rather than having to deal with more mellow visions of Christianity.

01:49:07.000 How much different would America have turned out if people landed on the west coast instead of the east coast? 0.99

01:49:14.000 How much different would America have turned out if England was on the other side of the world and then they came over and landed in LA and were like, oh shit. 1.00

01:49:22.000 Oh, shit, bitches. 1.00

01:49:23.000 We ain't never going back. 1.00

01:49:25.000 There's no winter.

01:49:26.000 Winter doesn't happen. 1.00

01:49:27.000 Like, they landed in fucking Massachusetts, man. 1.00

01:49:30.000 That's a... 1.00

01:49:31.000 That is...

01:49:32.000 With no heat?

01:49:33.000 Yep.

01:49:34.000 Oh, my God.

01:49:35.000 No heat.

01:49:36.000 No cars.

01:49:36.000 You have a few animals to...

01:49:38.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:49:39.000 You gonna try to collect food in the four months that everything's not frozen?

01:49:42.000 Right.

01:49:43.000 And it's funny, because when they first came, they usually didn't really know how to make a living here, so they would fuck things up, and within a year or two, they would start eating each other in these cool cannibalistic stories. 0.97

01:49:54.000 And it's like, that's some weird sick shit that was going on. 0.96

01:49:58.000 Well, there's nothing else they could do. 0.99

01:49:58.000 It was pure survival. 0.99

01:50:00.000 Yep, yep, yep.

01:50:01.000 That happened in England too, right?

01:50:03.000 Wasn't there, they reconstructed a girl that they had eaten, and she was 14 years old?

01:50:09.000 That was here, that was in James Town, the very first British colony in the Americas to stay.

01:50:17.000 And she was 14?

01:50:18.000 Yeah, because they pissed off the Indians, so they are not going to have much help from them. 1.00

01:50:22.000 They don't know how to make a living throughout the year in a new harsh environment, so soon enough you start eating your friends.

01:50:29.000 That's always a good idea. 0.97

01:50:31.000 It's fucking amazing that we've made it this far. 0.95

01:50:34.000 It's amazing. 0.99

01:50:35.000 As a person who knows as much about history as you do, it must be really shocking when you know that this shit was just a couple of years away. 0.97

01:50:47.000 That to me is what's mind-blowing, is the stuff that has been considered normal throughout much of human history. 0.96

01:50:56.000 It blows your mind to think like probably 75% of people were totally cool with these ideas that today they would land you straight in like a psychiatric hospital.

01:51:06.000 Yeah.

01:51:06.000 Back then, totally normal.

01:51:08.000 And again, it boils down to the same thing.

01:51:10.000 It's people too lazy to question what they are taught and just going with the program and just not really...

01:51:15.000 Why am I burning people at the stake because they believe a different idea?

01:51:19.000 Well, it's what my grandpa did and she's cool, so I must...

01:51:22.000 You know, it's like...

01:51:23.000 Not really stopping to think, is this really healthy?

01:51:25.000 Is this a good idea?

01:51:26.000 Is this how I want to live? 0.99

01:51:28.000 How did people find out about the pilgrims, whether or not they were doing good enough that people decided, let's join these crazy bitches? 1.00

01:51:35.000 How did all that happen? 0.97

01:51:36.000 They did go back and forth.

01:51:38.000 And they were telling how great it was?

01:51:39.000 We're eating each other. 0.99

01:51:40.000 It's fucking awesome. 0.98

01:51:43.000 Some people also put money as an investment in this. 0.91

01:51:45.000 A lot of these weren't just random individuals coming in.

01:51:48.000 They were sponsored by corporations as an idea, and it was an investment.

01:51:51.000 So these guys had...

01:51:52.000 Economically interested in keeping the thing going. 0.94

01:51:55.000 And there are plenty of people who had a shitty life in England.

01:51:58.000 So even going to the crazy wild place across the world was better than what they knew back in England. 0.86

01:52:06.000 And so they were willing to take chances.

01:52:08.000 I mean, one of the things that people don't know a lot of the time or don't emphasize enough is the idea that a huge chunk of people who came here were basically slaves, white people, you know, British.

01:52:19.000 They were indentured servants, which technically meant you only serve for seven years, but most of them were worked so hard by their owners that they killed them before the seven years were up. 0.89

01:52:28.000 So really, if you are an indentured servant, you're pretty much fucked because you're going to be in conditions that are semi-slavery.

01:52:36.000 They are not going to survive to see the day when you are freed. 0.69

01:52:39.000 So it doesn't really matter whether in theory it only lasts so long because you're never going to live that time.

01:52:45.000 So a lot of these guys would run off the second they arrive here.

01:52:48.000 They would try to show their best face when they show up at an Indian encampment saying, hey man, I'm a nice guy. 0.97

01:52:53.000 Those guys are freak.

01:52:54.000 Can you please take me in?

01:52:55.000 And a bunch of tribes would take them in.

01:52:57.000 And so you would have these communities where sometimes you would have a lot of British people who escaped the settlement to go live with Indians because otherwise they would get work to that back in the settlements. 0.82

01:53:08.000 And it's a trippy story.

01:53:10.000 You know, the colonies would pass these laws preventing anybody from leaving the settlements and going to live with Indians because otherwise your labor force just left and now you have to work on your own. 0.96

01:53:20.000 Yeah.

01:53:20.000 How many white dudes went dancing with wolves style?

01:53:23.000 Quite a bit.

01:53:23.000 There's a really cool story.

01:53:25.000 I forget the guy's name right now, but there was back at the very beginning of the Puritan days, there was this one community of Sort of crazy, unconventional guys that left the main Puritan towns and started their own thing with a bunch of local Indians.

01:53:41.000 They basically had an interracial community where they would party a lot, they would drink, have their dances. 0.95

01:53:47.000 Something like sort of hippie heaven, except that because it was a little too hippie heaven, these guys didn't make plans for the Puritan wanting to kick their ass because their community was actually growing at a faster rate than the Puritans. 0.97

01:53:59.000 More people wanted to live there. 1.00

01:54:01.000 But the Puritan had military muscle, and so they went to kick their ass and squash them. 1.00

01:54:05.000 Those motherfucking Puritans. 1.00

01:54:06.000 Yep. 1.00

01:54:07.000 And that's us.

01:54:08.000 Yep.

01:54:08.000 If those hippies had planned...

01:54:11.000 Yeah, fuck. 1.00

01:54:11.000 I mean, I'm all for having fun, but put two hours a day into planning that maybe you want to know what to do when people start shooting at you. 1.00

01:54:18.000 These crazy religious fucks that are dressed up like Johnny Cash and live right down the road. 0.99

01:54:23.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:54:23.000 Those guys are kooks. 1.00

01:54:24.000 You don't know they're kooks? 0.98

01:54:25.000 They're all dressed the same.

01:54:26.000 Okay, listen. 0.98

01:54:26.000 We know they're kooks. 0.98

01:54:27.000 Yep.

01:54:28.000 But listen, they spend a lot of time praying that we need to spend that exact amount of time making arrows.

01:54:32.000 Yep, that's the idea. 1.00

01:54:34.000 And instead the choice was happy, stupid hippies who don't make plans or crazy religious fundamentalists who are well armed and know how to use their guns. 1.00

01:54:45.000 Not exactly the greatest alternatives, but... 1.00

01:54:48.000 I mean, one is nicer than the other, but it doesn't make any...

01:54:51.000 You know, they can't live in reality because they don't make plans. 0.98

01:54:53.000 They don't set things up for when shit goes wrong. 0.99

01:54:55.000 And so the other guys who are way worse win because they are more disciplined. 1.00

01:55:00.000 Those motherfuckers. 1.00

01:55:01.000 So they absorb them? 1.00

01:55:02.000 Yeah.

01:55:02.000 Some of them, they send them back.

01:55:06.000 You know, some of them were killed.

01:55:07.000 Some of them were reabsorbed under closed watch.

01:55:10.000 You know, a bunch of options there, but...

01:55:13.000 One of the weirdest things about history for me as I get older is realizing how short a period of time that was ago where things were so bananas.

01:55:20.000 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

01:55:23.000 1492? 0.99

01:55:23.000 That ain't shit! 0.99

01:55:25.000 That's hard to believe. 0.98

01:55:25.000 There was no buildings here just that long ago. 0.98

01:55:28.000 Especially when you look at England and the shit that's up in London. 0.97

01:55:32.000 You can go visit things in London that are a thousand years old. 1.00

01:55:35.000 America itself is only 200 fucking years old. 0.98

01:55:38.000 They've only been around. 0.98

01:55:40.000 I mean, someone landed in the Bahamas a little over 400 years ago.

01:55:45.000 Right.

01:55:46.000 That's crazy.

01:55:47.000 It is.

01:55:48.000 And in that sense, yeah, living in Europe is a trip because you go down the street to meet your friend and you are next to a building that's like, Yes! 1.00

01:55:57.000 It's fucked! 0.99

01:55:58.000 It's really nuts to think that those people just lived in that one spot forever. 1.00

01:56:03.000 You know, that's one of the really cool things, this Dan Carlin thing on the history of the Mongols, is realizing how much these guys affected Asia and how much they would have affected Europe and they affected Russia. 0.53

01:56:19.000 Yeah, like, Europe got really lucky there.

01:56:21.000 Seriously.

01:56:22.000 Well, depending on point of view, because, yeah, what they had wasn't exactly right. 1.00

01:56:26.000 Yeah, what they had was horrible, but they dodged a crazy bullet with those motherfuckers. 1.00

01:56:32.000 Sure did. 0.99

01:56:33.000 And then, one of the craziest things that Dan Carlin was talking about was when they took over Baghdad and killed everybody, that it literally hasn't ever recovered.

01:56:43.000 No, they say it was like...

01:56:45.000 600 years before the population was at the same level as before.

01:56:49.000 They wiped that. 0.97

01:56:50.000 I mean, the Mongols didn't fuck around. 1.00

01:56:51.000 They killed everyone. 1.00

01:56:52.000 They really were Genocide 101. Yeah, those guys. 0.74

01:56:58.000 And they played a terror card.

01:56:59.000 They ruined progress.

01:57:00.000 They ruined cultures. 0.99

01:57:01.000 Everything they learned, see ya, light it on fire.

01:57:05.000 They didn't want to take it with them. 0.99

01:57:07.000 If it's not useful in a fell tent or running around with my horses, then what the fuck do I care? 0.96

01:57:12.000 That's the nuttiest thing is that they never really... 0.98

01:57:14.000 They captured all these cities, but they were nomads. 0.60

01:57:18.000 They didn't have a country.

01:57:19.000 They just had this gigantic, huge mass of people making their way across the world, killing everybody.

01:57:27.000 My favorite on that one is when they do enter Baghdad and the whole story.

01:57:31.000 There was this thing of this one guy who was a local governor who had killed the Mongol traders early on.

01:57:37.000 So the Mongols were at peace. 0.93

01:57:38.000 They sent an ambassador.

01:57:39.000 This guy chopped off the head of the ambassadors, too, saying they are spies.

01:57:43.000 He banked on the fact that there was a big desert separating him from the Mongols so they wouldn't be able to invade. 1.00

01:57:48.000 He didn't make his calculations right, because the Mongols go through the desert, they show up at his door, and after wiping out everyone else, they grabbed this guy and said, you are a greedy motherfuckers. 0.99

01:57:59.000 Because of that, you want gold, we'll give you all the gold you want. 1.00

01:58:02.000 They melt a bunch of gold and pour molten gold down his throat to kill him. 1.00

01:58:08.000 Those guys... 1.00

01:58:09.000 It poured into his eyes and his ears as well.

01:58:11.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:58:12.000 Those guys are not playing around.

01:58:14.000 Yeah.

01:58:15.000 And then they probably chopped its head open and get that gold back.

01:58:17.000 Exactly.

01:58:17.000 It's like, okay, now, sorry, now we need it back, if you don't mind.

01:58:21.000 It's just amazing that that, again, 1200 AD. 1200?

01:58:27.000 That's not that long ago.

01:58:29.000 None of this is that long ago.

01:58:30.000 And that was only a couple hundred years before Martin Luther.

01:58:33.000 And that's just a few hundred years before people came to America.

01:58:37.000 And that's a few hundred years before slavery was abolished.

01:58:40.000 All of it is so recent.

01:58:42.000 It's really weird.

01:58:43.000 Right here in California, where we stand, back in the 1850s, More than half of the American Indian population, I think like 80%, was wiped out, not because of diseases, not because of stuff, but what they had in a lot of California towns were the Indian Hunts,

01:59:00.000 which was on the local newspaper they would publish the scene that if you You know, you're broke, you have no money, go kill some Indians, scalp them, and if you come back into town, the local government will pay you a certain amount for the scalp of an adult male, a little bit less for the scalp of an adult female,

01:59:17.000 and a little bit less for the scalp of a child. 0.98

01:59:20.000 Because it's good for the health of the community to wipe out Indians. 1.00

01:59:24.000 1850s.

01:59:25.000 Not a million years ago, right?

01:59:27.000 You know, under our feet.

01:59:29.000 That's a trip.

01:59:31.000 Wow.

01:59:32.000 Yeah.

01:59:32.000 You know, I always wondered what that whole scalping thing, where that came from.

01:59:37.000 I thought it was the Indians that did the scalping. 1.00

01:59:39.000 You know, actually, they do stuff like that in a bunch of places around the world, because it got tiresome to just carry around people's heads to prove that you killed them, so... 0.98

01:59:48.000 It's like, do I really have to carry this big fucking thing? 0.97

01:59:50.000 Can you imagine, like, chopping off the head of somebody like T-Tortis, big giant head? 0.99

01:59:54.000 It's like, really? 0.94

01:59:55.000 I have to carry it around to prove that I killed it? 0.98

01:59:57.000 Can I just scalp him and be done with it? 0.69

02:00:00.000 So people around the world did it in a bunch of places. 0.99

02:00:03.000 Well, then, you know, you could scalp two butt cheeks and say, oh, I killed a couple of bald dudes, too. 0.90

02:00:08.000 I mean, you get three for the price of one if you were unscrupulous. 0.94

02:00:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:00:13.000 This motherfucker's always scalping bald Indian. 1.00

02:00:16.000 That's one of the beautiful things about the Native Americans. 1.00

02:00:18.000 They actually go bald.

02:00:19.000 Right.

02:00:20.000 That wasn't one of their genetics.

02:00:21.000 That genetic sort of only got introduced to them after we came around.

02:00:26.000 I tell you, these Indians sure do smell, though. 1.00

02:00:30.000 It's a butt. 1.00

02:00:31.000 Never mind. 0.81

02:00:33.000 Butt cheeks don't smell that bad, do they? 0.98

02:00:35.000 Back then they did.

02:00:36.000 Back then, the whole package, right?

02:00:38.000 Everything below the belt was just a mess.

02:00:40.000 They probably never really painted their face. 0.98

02:00:43.000 It was just from butts. 0.83

02:00:46.000 That doesn't make any sense, son. 0.71

02:00:48.000 On the East Coast, they had this badass scene that they would do where a lot of Indian tribes there, they would shave every other part of their head, but they would leave this really long strand of hair in the middle. 0.98

02:00:58.000 That was like the scalp knot.

02:01:01.000 You leave it out there as a challenge to other warriors of saying, hey, here is my scalp.

02:01:06.000 You want to take it?

02:01:07.000 Come take it.

02:01:07.000 It makes it even easier for you to grasp it and pull it out.

02:01:10.000 So it was a fuck you kind of thing. 0.99

02:01:13.000 It's like, I'll leave it on. 1.00

02:01:14.000 You leave yours on.

02:01:15.000 Let's see who gets to take home who's first. 0.98

02:01:18.000 That's ridiculous. 0.97

02:01:18.000 That's just begging for the gun to be invented. 0.97

02:01:21.000 You silly bitches out there shooting pointed rocks at each other. 1.00

02:01:24.000 What the fuck are you doing, man? 1.00

02:01:26.000 Grabbing each other's hair, cutting each other's heads off. 1.00

02:01:28.000 Did you see that guy on that video the other day that was walking across, I think, to a waterfall or something?

02:01:35.000 And he was doing the balancing thing, and he fell, and he held on, and then he was trying to...

02:01:43.000 Climb across it, and he had a long ponytail, and his ponytail got stuck in it, and he let go, and he scalped himself and fell and died.

02:01:50.000 Jesus, son, he died from that?

02:01:52.000 Yep, because he fell.

02:01:54.000 Oh my god.

02:01:55.000 And his ponytail stayed on the line.

02:01:57.000 Oh, Christ.

02:01:59.000 That's when you know.

02:02:00.000 Yep, that can't be good. 0.99

02:02:01.000 That's a shit choice in hair wear. 1.00

02:02:03.000 Either that or God hates you. 1.00

02:02:05.000 Yeah, you fucked up, son. 1.00

02:02:07.000 You definitely fucked up. 1.00

02:02:08.000 There was a woman in France recently who died. 1.00

02:02:10.000 She fell like 900 feet to her death off a cliff.

02:02:13.000 And by the time they got to her, the vultures had already eaten her. 0.91

02:02:16.000 There was nothing left but bones. 1.00

02:02:19.000 That is also how you know you fucked up. 1.00

02:02:21.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:02:22.000 First of all, if you're in a place where they're not killing the vultures, everybody's like, well, we need these vultures.

02:02:26.000 Well, you know what the problem is now?

02:02:27.000 They have laws in this part of Europe where you have to kill livestock when they die. 0.96

02:02:33.000 You have to burn them.

02:02:34.000 So because of that, the vultures don't get to naturally prey off the livestock.

02:02:38.000 So vultures are actually going down and attacking live things because they're starving to death because the government cleans up the dead animals and burns them.

02:02:45.000 It doesn't allow the vultures to eat them.

02:02:47.000 So now you have vultures that are carrying away dogs.

02:02:49.000 Right.

02:02:50.000 And they're going after pets. 1.00

02:02:51.000 They're getting livestock and shit. 1.00

02:02:53.000 Vultures are scary. 1.00

02:02:54.000 Vultures are scary.

02:02:55.000 That's, you know, as much as, oh, sweet, cool nature.

02:02:58.000 Well, yeah.

02:03:00.000 To a point.

02:03:01.000 Nature's nice and cool as long as you're in your car.

02:03:03.000 Or you're in your house, or you have a gun, or there's slow people behind you and in front of you that will get eaten first.

02:03:10.000 I had a dream last night that a friend of mine had an animal snuck into his house and we couldn't get it out.

02:03:17.000 It wasn't a big animal, it was like a raccoon or something, but it was terrifying in his dream. 1.00

02:03:21.000 The raccoon was behind the TV and we're trying to chase it out with sticks and it's like, fuck shit! 1.00

02:03:27.000 Think about how little a goddamn raccoon is. 1.00

02:03:29.000 I was terrified of this fucker. 1.00

02:03:31.000 Get him out of your house, man! 1.00

02:03:32.000 We're trying to stick a fucking broomstick back there to get rid of this raccoon. 1.00

02:03:36.000 And in my dream, it was horrific. 1.00

02:03:38.000 Because I was thinking, if this raccoon just goes for it and just jumps on my face, I am fucked. 1.00

02:03:43.000 My face is made out of toilet paper. 1.00

02:03:45.000 It's just soft, mushy shit. 1.00

02:03:47.000 Your face is barely more durable than a flashlight. 1.00

02:03:51.000 Yep.

02:03:52.000 Raccoons and skunk both scare me because in my backyard, somehow they We get in there once in a while and have a fenced-in yard.

02:03:58.000 Do you leave cat food out there?

02:04:00.000 No, no.

02:04:01.000 But somehow they just do it.

02:04:02.000 It's weird.

02:04:03.000 And I'll just be sitting outside, you know, whatever, on the porch, and out of nowhere I'll just see this skunk or a raccoon running towards me because it doesn't realize that I'm sitting there.

02:04:13.000 And I'll be like, hey, get away from here!

02:04:15.000 And it just stops.

02:04:16.000 I'm like, okay.

02:04:17.000 Hopefully it just turns around, walks away, nothing happens.

02:04:20.000 Most of the time, they won't engage you unless they're rabid.

02:04:23.000 Right.

02:04:24.000 But they will engage you if they're rabid.

02:04:26.000 Yep.

02:04:26.000 You know, there's that too.

02:04:28.000 It's worse. 1.00

02:04:28.000 You're really fucked if you get bitten. 1.00

02:04:30.000 Because if you get rabies, you get bit by someone with rabies, you gotta get like 10 gigantic needles in your ass. 1.00

02:04:37.000 I think it's more sad. 1.00

02:04:37.000 And their stomach, right? 1.00

02:04:38.000 Doesn't it go right into your stomach? 1.00

02:04:40.000 Oh, fucking Christ. 1.00

02:04:41.000 And they're huge needles. 1.00

02:04:43.000 Yeah.

02:04:43.000 It's apparently like really bad to get rabies.

02:04:46.000 I got bit by a dog once, and they were telling me, the doctor was like, yeah, we're not going to give you a shit. 0.99

02:04:52.000 Because take your chances. 0.99

02:04:53.000 It's better than taking a rabid shot.

02:04:55.000 You don't want to have a rabid shot.

02:04:56.000 Unless you're really convinced that you have rabid shot, you don't want to take it.

02:05:00.000 Because it hurts beyond belief.

02:05:01.000 Yeah, I guess there's a lot of bats here in Los Angeles that are being found with rabies. 1.00

02:05:06.000 Oh, fucking Christ! 1.00

02:05:07.000 Rabbit bats! 1.00

02:05:09.000 I'm wearing a Bat Country t-shirt, son.

02:05:12.000 Hey, dude who gave me this in New Jersey.

02:05:14.000 Thank you very much.

02:05:14.000 Some fellow Hunter S. Thompson fan.

02:05:16.000 Bat Country. 0.99

02:05:18.000 Yeah.

02:05:18.000 There's a great story about these guys from Harvard.

02:05:21.000 Who went to Africa to study these bats that migrate out of this cave.

02:05:27.000 And they sat in the front of the cave and every night at a certain time when it became dusk, these bats would fly out en masse.

02:05:36.000 There's this massive number of bats.

02:05:38.000 This is an enormous cave.

02:05:40.000 And there would be like millions and millions of bats. 0.98

02:05:42.000 Well, these guys, they sat down in front of this to film it and record things, whatever the fuck they're going to do scientifically. 0.99

02:05:49.000 And what they didn't anticipate is the assault of bat shit that hit them. 1.00

02:05:56.000 As they came out of this cage, they just shit all at once. 1.00

02:06:00.000 So they were literally in the firing path of a wave of shit a hundred miles high. 1.00

02:06:07.000 Millions of bats shitting on their face. 1.00

02:06:10.000 So they get back to America and they're horribly ill. 0.94

02:06:15.000 They're bleeding from their eyes.

02:06:17.000 They're deadly sick and they die.

02:06:19.000 They both died. 0.99

02:06:20.000 They both died.

02:06:22.000 It's insanely toxic.

02:06:24.000 They just got toxic levels of nitrogen and batshit and it goes in your eyes and it's in your face and your skin. 0.99

02:06:30.000 It's going through your fucking skin. 1.00

02:06:32.000 It's toxic shit. 1.00

02:06:34.000 Talk about Fuck, man. 1.00

02:06:36.000 Talk about a story. 1.00

02:06:37.000 What happened to him? 0.99

02:06:38.000 A bunch of a million bats took a shit on him, and that's why he died. 0.99

02:06:42.000 Yeah, and he must have realized somewhere in the middle of that shitstorm that probably lasted an hour. 1.00

02:06:48.000 It was probably an hour of bats coming. 0.95

02:06:51.000 This is an insanely big cave, apparently, and there's just millions of bats there.

02:06:56.000 Bat guano is... 1.00

02:06:57.000 I know they use it for shit. 1.00

02:06:59.000 I think they use it for fertilizer and stuff. 1.00

02:07:01.000 Growing weed is big.

02:07:02.000 Is it big for growing weed?

02:07:04.000 Powerful Daniele Bolelli.

02:07:06.000 He's got the knowledge.

02:07:08.000 That story that we talked about a couple of weeks ago about the couple that used to be in the CIA and they had retired and were making plants in their basement.

02:07:18.000 They were growing tomatoes and stuff like that. 0.97

02:07:20.000 And the fucking DEA kicks down their door, guns blazing, rifles in their face, and finds their tomatoes in the basement. 0.99

02:07:28.000 Boy. 1.00

02:07:29.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

02:07:29.000 Boy, is that a silly goddamn story. 1.00

02:07:32.000 What turns out, these people, the reason why the CIA did this, or the DEA did this, is they followed their car. 0.99

02:07:41.000 Their car had been parked at a hydroponic store.

02:07:44.000 And they took a photo of the car, the license plate.

02:07:46.000 They ran the plates.

02:07:48.000 And that's how they find where the houses are, where people are growing. 1.00

02:07:52.000 That's this genius fucking group of ass fucks called the DEA that think that everyone growing anything indoors. 1.00

02:08:00.000 My sister's ex-husband used to grow tomatoes and shit because they lived in Boston. 1.00

02:08:05.000 They had a full setup in the basement. 0.98

02:08:07.000 They didn't even smoke weed.

02:08:08.000 They had a full setup.

02:08:09.000 But that guy would be under suspicion.

02:08:11.000 Of course. 1.00

02:08:12.000 They're allowed to pass by your fucking house. 1.00

02:08:14.000 This is how stupid this situation is. 1.00

02:08:16.000 All they're doing is growing plants, by the way, I might add. 1.00

02:08:19.000 They're not making meth, okay?

02:08:20.000 Right. 0.98

02:08:21.000 They're allowed to go by the places where they teach you how to grow plants, take pictures of your fucking license plate, and then run them on the suspicion of you doing drugs. 1.00

02:08:31.000 Find out where the fuck you live, stake out your house. 0.99

02:08:33.000 Yep, for sure they're growing plants. 1.00

02:08:35.000 We're going in, boys! 1.00

02:08:37.000 Go in guns blazing with dogs and shoot your dog if you've got one. 1.00

02:08:41.000 They shoot your fucking dog almost every time they go into these people's houses. 1.00

02:08:44.000 They shoot puppies. 1.00

02:08:46.000 They'll shoot collies.

02:08:47.000 They don't care if your dog's a threat. 0.99

02:08:49.000 They shoot dogs.

02:08:50.000 And then they find out you're making tomatoes. 1.00

02:08:52.000 I mean, that's the dumbest shit. 1.00

02:08:54.000 That's why, to me, it pisses me off when I hear people who are all like, I love freedom, but I'm pro-drug war, I'm against legal prostitution, I'm against... 1.00

02:09:01.000 It's like, you're not pro-freedom, motherfucker. 0.99

02:09:03.000 You're only pro the freedom of the stuff you like. 0.99

02:09:05.000 That's just what it is.

02:09:06.000 Well, Obama said recently, he had a speech in Mexico.

02:09:09.000 He said that he didn't think that making marijuana legal was a good idea.

02:09:13.000 It's the most hilarious thing ever.

02:09:15.000 The idea that making anything that A, benefits people, P, people want to do, and C, there's no victims.

02:09:23.000 And then you're talking specifically with the people who would, in a logical scenario, benefit from it being legal.

02:09:30.000 The reason why all this money is being made by drug cartels is because drugs are illegal.

02:09:35.000 If drugs were legal, these people wouldn't be making that money.

02:09:38.000 Out of business.

02:09:39.000 I mean, that alone is impossible for some people to grasp.

02:09:44.000 I mean, even when people are against it philosophically because they are control freaks who want some morality in force according to their standards of morality and everyone else, even those guys still look at the evidence.

02:09:57.000 Is prohibition working in terms of keeping the rates of addiction or use low?

02:10:02.000 It's not. 0.99

02:10:03.000 So what the fuck are you doing? 0.99

02:10:04.000 It's like taking a bunch of money, putting it in the toilet and flushing because if you're not affecting demand or supply, Why the fuck are you doing it? 0.99

02:10:13.000 Yeah, the best example that we have about whether or not it's good to legalize drugs is Portugal. 0.98

02:10:18.000 Yeah, absolutely.

02:10:19.000 And they have lowered their rates of addiction, lowered their rates of crime.

02:10:23.000 It's real simple, folks.

02:10:25.000 People don't like being told what to do. 0.99

02:10:26.000 And they're going to do whatever the fuck they want to do. 0.98

02:10:29.000 But if you tell them what to do, then they're going to rebel. 0.99

02:10:31.000 And that's just what they do.

02:10:33.000 And when people rebel, sometimes they're not even doing what they want to do.

02:10:36.000 They're just doing what you don't want them to do. 0.98

02:10:38.000 So that seems like the thing to do because they don't like you fucking controlling them. 0.98

02:10:42.000 You know? 0.98

02:10:43.000 When I moved here from Italy, I didn't know about the age 21 thing about drinking.

02:10:48.000 I thought you were going to say about banging chicks. 1.00

02:10:51.000 No, there's...

02:10:52.000 Like, Italy, I don't even think it has...

02:10:54.000 Maybe it doesn't have an age limit.

02:10:56.000 If it does, nobody enforce it.

02:10:58.000 Right.

02:10:58.000 If you are eight years old, you go to the store to buy for your mom a bottle of wine, nobody asks anything, you know?

02:11:04.000 Right. 0.99

02:11:04.000 But because it's the kind of shit that your grandparents have for lunch, it's not glamorous. 0.99

02:11:10.000 It's not like... 1.00

02:11:11.000 Cool, I got booze.

02:11:12.000 I'm going to start downing it like crazy.

02:11:14.000 When I saw here people who would start drinking as teenagers as a prohibited exciting thing, they would down alcohol like crazy, throw up all over themselves. 0.99

02:11:24.000 I'm like, ew, that's fucking disgusting. 0.99

02:11:26.000 Why would you do that to yourself? 1.00

02:11:28.000 You learn how to drink a little bit at a time.

02:11:31.000 And to me, it's like you learn how to drink as a kid.

02:11:34.000 Yeah.

02:11:34.000 You learn how to drink with your grandparents, where it's like if you have a sip, you feel happy and stuff.

02:11:39.000 If you have more than a sip, you get a headache. 0.99

02:11:41.000 And one day you do, and you're like, oh, fuck, you're right, I got a headache. 0.98

02:11:44.000 It's kind of weird that this is the most successful society ever, because it really is, right? 0.98

02:11:48.000 If you had to look at it as far as what's been done by this society, the American society. 0.98

02:11:54.000 Maybe that's the only way you can really get shit done. 0.98

02:11:57.000 Maybe you have to have this fucking weird buttoned down, repressed, in order to work the kind of hours that people are willing to work. 1.00

02:12:03.000 Whereas in Italy, they take like, what, two hours a day off just to take a shit? 0.99

02:12:07.000 Yeah, nobody does anything. 1.00

02:12:08.000 I have a shit break. 0.99

02:12:10.000 Italy is an awesome place to retire in, but to get anything done, yeah, good luck. 0.99

02:12:15.000 Well, I know Marvelous Marvin Hagler did it.

02:12:17.000 Yep. 0.99

02:12:18.000 Marvin Hagler, when he retired from being the fucking man, was one of the best boxers ever, went to Italy and just said, fuck it, I'm just chilling here forever. 0.99

02:12:29.000 He's going to become an Italian movie star. 1.00

02:12:31.000 He lives in my town.

02:12:32.000 Does he really?

02:12:34.000 He's a friend of mine.

02:12:36.000 He runs into him at the gym all the time.

02:12:38.000 That's hilarious.

02:12:39.000 He's the weirdest case ever for a boxer because he still has his wits.

02:12:43.000 Yeah.

02:12:44.000 And man, what a good boxer he was.

02:12:46.000 He was amazing.

02:12:47.000 He was one of the all-time greats.

02:12:48.000 Yeah.

02:12:48.000 But he's still like, he's lucid when he talks.

02:12:51.000 And he lost to Sugar Ray Leonard and he said, that's it.

02:12:53.000 I'm done.

02:12:54.000 Right.

02:12:55.000 But he really meant it.

02:12:56.000 He's the only guy that I can ever recall.

02:12:58.000 Everybody out, like Sugar Ray Leonard broke everybody's heart, came back.

02:13:02.000 Right.

02:13:03.000 Won a couple fights and then lost a couple fights very badly.

02:13:05.000 Right.

02:13:06.000 The Terry Norris fight, classic example, that was a brutal beatdown. 0.97

02:13:10.000 Terry Norris beat the shit out of him. 0.96

02:13:11.000 That was scary. 0.93

02:13:13.000 The fight with Hector Camacho, when Hector Camacho stopped him, it was like, oh, Jesus.

02:13:18.000 He was, at the end, he broke everybody's heart, just like everybody else.

02:13:22.000 Right.

02:13:22.000 No, Hagler was smart, man.

02:13:23.000 He made the call.

02:13:24.000 He didn't really take that much abuse.

02:13:26.000 Actually, he actually took more abuse in some of the fights he won.

02:13:28.000 Like, there was the fight with Mugabe.

02:13:30.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:13:30.000 Where they beat the shit out of each other. 0.98

02:13:32.000 Yeah.

02:13:32.000 Or even the one with Tommy Ernst.

02:13:34.000 That was, like, the most intense round I've ever seen in combat sports.

02:13:38.000 Yeah, you want to watch a great fight.

02:13:40.000 First round.

02:13:41.000 Hagler-Hearns.

02:13:42.000 On YouTube, somebody put it up on an Hendrix soundtrack.

02:13:45.000 They have, like, Voodoo Child's Light Return going on the Marvin Hagler highlight. 0.83

02:13:50.000 It's like...

02:13:51.000 Coolest thing ever.

02:13:52.000 Yeah, I tweeted that a while back.

02:13:55.000 That's an amazing highlight.

02:13:56.000 He was a beast, man.

02:13:59.000 When I was a kid, he was a big inspiration for me.

02:14:01.000 I was living in Boston.

02:14:02.000 Because I remember he was supposed to fight Mustafa Hamshou.

02:14:05.000 And they had some TV special that was following him training.

02:14:08.000 And he would go to the Cape in the wintertime.

02:14:11.000 Where there's nobody in the Cape.

02:14:12.000 It's horrible.

02:14:15.000 Freezing.

02:14:16.000 You know, many, many degrees below zero.

02:14:18.000 Wind chill factor.

02:14:19.000 Wind coming off the water. 1.00

02:14:21.000 Ripping your fucking skin apart. 1.00

02:14:22.000 And he's out there running, screaming war. 1.00

02:14:26.000 He would just scream war as he was running up sand dunes and shit. 0.99

02:14:30.000 If you're his opponent, you just look at the video and you're like, yeah, no, thanks. 0.99

02:14:35.000 Yeah, he beat the fuck out of some people, man. 0.98

02:14:37.000 Marvin Hagel was a beast. 0.98

02:14:38.000 If you look at the Mugabe fight, he's a great example of that. 0.82

02:14:42.000 You couldn't hurt him.

02:14:43.000 He had a chin like nobody.

02:14:46.000 They did this weird thing with him where they...

02:14:50.000 They scanned his head, and they found out that his mandible muscles, the muscles on the sides of his head, were, like, much larger than a normal person's.

02:14:58.000 They were like, literally, the man has, like, built-in headgear.

02:15:02.000 And you're like, I guess you get that from biting down, maybe, or something, or biting down on mouthpieces.

02:15:08.000 It could be genetics.

02:15:10.000 Whatever it was, the dude was just, like, really hard to hurt.

02:15:14.000 That was one of the big things about him.

02:15:15.000 Tommy Hearns couldn't hurt him.

02:15:17.000 Mugabe couldn't hurt him.

02:15:18.000 They would nail him, but he would just keep coming forward.

02:15:20.000 Nobody ever stopped Marvin Hagler.

02:15:22.000 Nobody ever stopped Marvin Hagler.

02:15:24.000 Not even close. 0.95

02:15:25.000 Nobody even fucking came close to stopping that guy. 0.71

02:15:29.000 Yeah, there's been a few guys like that throughout history that just for whatever reason just had that extra motivation above and beyond everyone else. 0.96

02:15:38.000 And he was smart to call it quits when he did because, I mean, you do see those guys a la Nogueira who have these ungodly chins who can take so much abuse. 1.00

02:15:46.000 But after a while, you know, you hit a spot where he's like, okay, you clock the X amount of punches you could take in your life is done.

02:15:53.000 And now every other punch you take is going to drop you.

02:15:57.000 Yeah, that gets really sad to see old, great fighters.

02:16:01.000 That's one of the saddest aspects of fighting.

02:16:03.000 Wouldn't it be amazing if they figured out how to fix that with stem cell research?

02:16:07.000 They figured out how to reverse pugilistic dementia and cure brain damage from fighting.

02:16:13.000 That would be beautiful.

02:16:14.000 Yeah, because it makes you think twice about training stand-up sparring for real. 0.99

02:16:18.000 Fuck yeah, it does. 0.99

02:16:19.000 You grapple, it's all limbs, right? 1.00

02:16:21.000 It sucks, but it's not your brain. 0.94

02:16:23.000 Listen, I know people who've gotten bad concussions from grappling. 0.99

02:16:25.000 Yeah, that's true.

02:16:26.000 They fall funny, you know, and a lot of heads collide with knees and accidental things happen where you get knocked unconscious.

02:16:35.000 You're taking a chance no matter what you do, but it's the sub-concussive blows from boxing, the continual process of getting hit.

02:16:42.000 Yeah, because that's not an accident in training.

02:16:44.000 That's the name of the game.

02:16:45.000 It's hitting you in the head, and you take it over and over and over after a while.

02:16:49.000 It can be a good thing for your brain. 1.00

02:16:53.000 Especially if you're training with some fucking animal who hits hard. 0.99

02:16:56.000 If you're in there with some guy on a regular basis and he likes to beat up sparring partners, great. 1.00

02:17:00.000 You just got a little stupider every day. 0.99

02:17:01.000 Exactly. 1.00

02:17:02.000 Every day of your life you get a little stupider. 1.00

02:17:04.000 That's right. 1.00

02:17:04.000 How do you do it when you spar? 1.00

02:17:06.000 Because when you grapple, it's easy. 0.97

02:17:08.000 As long as you're not a dick, you're not going to hurt people. 0.97

02:17:10.000 Well, accidents happen. 0.96

02:17:11.000 You've got to just find really good training partners.

02:17:13.000 That's the most important thing.

02:17:14.000 Because, I mean, don't you find sometimes when you are done with a sparring session in striking that sometimes you're not entirely sure how well you did?

02:17:21.000 Because it's like you didn't really go full out, were you?

02:17:23.000 Like, that shot that I hit him with, did it have the juice really behind it or he would have just shrugged it off and that's it?

02:17:31.000 You know, it's like, does it ever happen to you or you feel like you know what's up by the end?

02:17:36.000 Well, I think...

02:17:38.000 You have to, like, ego-wise, you have to realize that, like, when you're sparring, you're both pulling back.

02:17:45.000 So shots that you got hit with, you maybe would have got hurt in a real situation, and shots that you got hit with, your response, maybe you wouldn't have been able to even deliver it.

02:17:55.000 Right.

02:17:56.000 So it can get unrealistic for guys who like to spar light, but they take shots on the chin and then...

02:18:02.000 Keep moving forward as if in real life they would be okay.

02:18:05.000 That becomes a real problem, for sure.

02:18:07.000 And that's one of the problems with developing techniques under minimal stress.

02:18:11.000 But if you're doing it correctly, if you're being well-trained, they won't allow you to develop those really bad habits.

02:18:17.000 Because those really bad habits, you can fundamentally alter the thinking that allows you to spar like that.

02:18:23.000 Right.

02:18:24.000 Number one most important thing, two important things, but number one is great trainers.

02:18:27.000 You have to have a trainer that trains you in a technical way and makes the class move in a technical way as well.

02:18:33.000 And number two, train partners that you can trust so you're not going to blast each other.

02:18:38.000 And then you've got to make sure that you go full out on the mitts and the bag so that in a real scenario you can deliver those shots with full impact.

02:18:48.000 But it's a tricky game.

02:18:50.000 Striking is a tricky game.

02:18:52.000 It's a very, very dangerous endeavor.

02:18:55.000 But it's awesome to get good at.

02:18:58.000 It feels great, but it's that line, right?

02:19:00.000 If you do a little too little, it's unrealistic because it's like, come on, you're barely touching each other.

02:19:06.000 If you go a little too hard, those are all brain cells saying goodbye.

02:19:09.000 Yeah, my young days when I was a young man, one of the things that I was concerned most with was the potential of brain damage.

02:19:16.000 I'd known too many people that I'd seen slowly slip away from the gym wars and kickboxing and boxing training and stuff like that. 0.93

02:19:25.000 But, you know, on the other hand, it's fucking exciting to watch. 0.93

02:19:29.000 Big time. 0.97

02:19:29.000 And people are going to keep doing it. 0.97

02:19:31.000 Like, did you see the Mayweather fight this weekend?

02:19:33.000 No, Mayweather, I just can't take it.

02:19:36.000 Why?

02:19:37.000 Why is that? 0.99

02:19:38.000 He's fucking brilliant. 0.99

02:19:39.000 He is brilliant. 0.99

02:19:40.000 He's brilliant.

02:19:41.000 He's brilliant.

02:19:41.000 It's beautiful to watch.

02:19:42.000 If I was fighting at this level, I would probably do the same thing.

02:19:45.000 It's like, I'm not going to get hurt.

02:19:46.000 I'm going to get paid a shitload of money.

02:19:48.000 I win. 0.99

02:19:49.000 Why the fuck should I take chances? 0.99

02:19:51.000 Well, he took chances. 0.99

02:19:51.000 He does take some... 0.99

02:19:52.000 In this fight, he fought a very different kind of fight.

02:19:55.000 He stood right in front of this dude.

02:19:56.000 Robert Guerrero is a tough guy, but he out-toughed him.

02:19:59.000 He out-moved him.

02:20:00.000 He out-angled him.

02:20:01.000 He clinched a hold of him.

02:20:03.000 Didn't let him, like, manipulate him and bully him and rip shots on him. 1.00

02:20:06.000 And then he just counter-punched the fucking shit out of him, man. 0.99

02:20:09.000 It just was brilliant. 0.99

02:20:10.000 I mean, it wasn't the most exciting fight in the world, but as someone who appreciates technique, I appreciate the shit out of how he did it.

02:20:17.000 He's just an awesome boxer. 0.98

02:20:19.000 He talks crazy mad shit, but that's also why people buy his pay-per-view. 0.99

02:20:22.000 Of course. 1.00

02:20:22.000 I don't know the dude. 1.00

02:20:23.000 I know the dude's a bad motherfucker, though, as far as when it comes to boxing. 0.97

02:20:27.000 He's made some crazy claims about MMA, which I always find hilarious, but I don't fault him for that because he's in the business of promoting. 0.99

02:20:33.000 Part of his shtick is, look, he knows there's a lot of people that are paying attention to MMA. If he starts talking mad shit about MMA fighters, people who don't even watch boxing will pay attention to his fight and even buy it to see him lose. 0.94

02:20:45.000 Absolutely. 0.99

02:20:45.000 I saw some people that I know, they were tweeting, you know, I think Mayweather loses this weekend. 0.99

02:20:50.000 I was like, what are you even saying?

02:20:52.000 What are you even talking about?

02:20:53.000 Do you know what you're watching when you're watching that guy?

02:20:55.000 You're watching an all-time Hall of Famer.

02:20:58.000 And Robert Guerrero's a good fighter.

02:20:59.000 He's a very good fighter.

02:21:00.000 It'll be an interesting fight. 1.00

02:21:02.000 Mayweather's going to box his fucking face off. 1.00

02:21:03.000 That's what he's going to do. 1.00

02:21:04.000 Because he's one of the best ever.

02:21:06.000 I made 80 bucks on him, so I was pleased.

02:21:08.000 What was the odds?

02:21:09.000 They were really bad, so I had to bet a lot, but I was so sure that it was like, there's no way in hell he's going to lose.

02:21:16.000 He could hurt his hand.

02:21:17.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:21:18.000 And he did, in fact.

02:21:19.000 He hurt his right hand somehow in the fight, but he kept throwing it. 0.99

02:21:22.000 Or the Jon Jones thing, you know, it's obvious that Jon Jones was going to win, but it's like, well, shit can happen. 0.99

02:21:28.000 Yeah, act of God type shit. 0.98

02:21:29.000 You know, Jon Jones' foot wasn't even broken, the toe wasn't even broken. 0.98

02:21:33.000 He just dislocated it and twisted it and broke the skin.

02:21:36.000 Crazy that that wasn't even broken.

02:21:39.000 And they're like, he'll be back training in six weeks.

02:21:41.000 I'm like, what? 0.99

02:21:42.000 Six fucking weeks? 0.99

02:21:44.000 It didn't look like that. 0.99

02:21:44.000 That looked like a six-month injury, but apparently, nope, no problem. 0.99

02:21:48.000 As soon as they set it, they stitched it up, the cut, set it, and they're like, you'll be all right.

02:21:53.000 It was funny how he barely even...

02:21:54.000 I don't think he noticed it until you pointed it out.

02:21:56.000 Dude, he was doing cartwheels!

02:21:56.000 Yeah.

02:21:57.000 He was doing cartwheels with a fucked-up toe. 0.98

02:21:59.000 And you were like, hey, look at your foot. 0.99

02:22:01.000 No, no, no.

02:22:01.000 He noticed it.

02:22:02.000 Oh, he noticed?

02:22:03.000 Okay.

02:22:03.000 Yeah, we were talking, and he was standing.

02:22:06.000 I think he noticed that when he was stepping, that he was stepping in something wet.

02:22:09.000 Okay.

02:22:09.000 So he looked down.

02:22:10.000 I realized it was blood.

02:22:11.000 I was like, where's this blood?

02:22:12.000 Oh my goodness, I have a broken toe.

02:22:15.000 That's when he realized there was something wrong with his foot.

02:22:17.000 It was totally him, him looking down at it.

02:22:20.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:22:20.000 It was fucking crazy. 0.98

02:22:22.000 It was a crazy moment because nobody knew what to do because I was interviewing him and it was all antique. 0.99

02:22:26.000 So nobody acted.

02:22:27.000 So I had to kind of like grab the stool, call in the doctor.

02:22:30.000 Sit down.

02:22:30.000 You still want to do this?

02:22:31.000 He's like, I still want to talk.

02:22:32.000 I'm like, okay.

02:22:33.000 It was a weird moment.

02:22:34.000 I know.

02:22:34.000 You had to tell somebody to get a chair for him.

02:22:36.000 Well, I got a chair for him.

02:22:37.000 I wound up getting the chair myself.

02:22:39.000 I was like, can we get him a chair?

02:22:40.000 And then I'm like, no one's moving. 1.00

02:22:42.000 Everybody was like, oh, shit. 0.99

02:22:44.000 No one wanted to get in the way on TV either. 0.99

02:22:47.000 It's one of those things.

02:22:49.000 It's probably like strict rules as to who can enter the octagon in that situation.

02:22:54.000 But that was probably one of the weirdest injuries that I've ever seen.

02:22:58.000 Who saw that coming?

02:23:00.000 Beating some guy up, you hurt your own self.

02:23:02.000 Yeah, you were this close to losing the fight when you have dominated the whole time.

02:23:05.000 He would have lost. 1.00

02:23:06.000 They would have taped that fucking foot together. 1.00

02:23:07.000 He would have gone. 0.99

02:23:09.000 If they could, even if he didn't have to tape it together, Chael would have had to come close enough to clinch him, and he beat Chael up so bad in that first round, Chael was in a lot of trouble doing anything in that second round.

02:23:20.000 I mean, the fight was almost over.

02:23:22.000 The round was almost over.

02:23:23.000 I think there was like 30 seconds to go, maybe less.

02:23:25.000 But the beating that he put on Chea was ferocious, man.

02:23:29.000 Those elbows. 1.00

02:23:31.000 He's a motherfucker, dude. 1.00

02:23:32.000 He's skating, man. 1.00

02:23:32.000 He's a motherfucker, and he's getting better all the time. 1.00

02:23:35.000 It's so cool to watch what is like a real exceptional athlete, an exceptionally gifted person come along in MMA. Yep. 1.00

02:23:45.000 You know, because...

02:23:46.000 He, to me, is like a Roy Jones Jr. type character.

02:23:50.000 Like a guy who's coming out of nowhere, who's just so athletically talented, as well as all the other things, as well as disciplined, as well as...

02:23:59.000 He's got the whole package.

02:24:01.000 And he's creative. 0.96

02:24:02.000 He's fun to watch, because he's not going to do just the same fucking thing that he does well and he wins, but whatever. 0.91

02:24:07.000 He actually pulls off these crazy moves that you never know what he's going to do, and it's like... 0.92

02:24:11.000 That spinning elbow he does when he gets you up against the cage is like a tornado of bones.

02:24:16.000 Yep.

02:24:16.000 It's just...

02:24:17.000 You're just getting smashed.

02:24:20.000 Yep.

02:24:20.000 That is just...

02:24:21.000 And, you know, it's amazing.

02:24:24.000 The kid's only, like, 25. Like, what the fuck? 1.00

02:24:27.000 What's it going to be like when he's 35? 0.99

02:24:29.000 Yeah, because he's not really taking damage.

02:24:31.000 So at this rate, he can go on forever.

02:24:33.000 Yeah, and how's he going to take damage? 0.99

02:24:35.000 Who's going to be able to solve that fucking puzzle? 0.98

02:24:39.000 Sometimes you look at a guy's style and say, hmm, you know what that guy needs? 0.99

02:24:43.000 If you find a guy who does this and that, he might be in trouble.

02:24:46.000 The closest is if Vito Belfort catched him in that armbar.

02:24:49.000 Yeah, but I mean, sure, everybody can lose.

02:24:52.000 One mistake happens.

02:24:54.000 There's always that percentage where you can lose any fight no matter what, but the odds are so low.

02:24:59.000 Right, and you know what freaks me out about that arm bar? 0.99

02:25:02.000 He let that dude fuck his arm up, man. 0.99

02:25:04.000 He let that dude way hyperextend his arm. 0.99

02:25:06.000 He never tapped.

02:25:07.000 He did not tap, and then he beat him up, and then he tapped him. 0.99

02:25:10.000 He tapped him with a fucked up arm. 0.99

02:25:12.000 So he's got this mental game down as well. 0.99

02:25:16.000 Yeah, because he got his arm popped in the first round, and he won, what, in the fourth?

02:25:20.000 So it's not even like he won right away and then he could pay attention to his arm.

02:25:24.000 That was a nasty arm bar, too.

02:25:26.000 He did.

02:25:26.000 Vitor did that.

02:25:27.000 That was some real black belt shit. 1.00

02:25:29.000 Perfect. 1.00

02:25:30.000 Yeah.

02:25:31.000 That's...

02:25:31.000 oof!

02:25:32.000 Most guys would've tapped.

02:25:33.000 I would've tapped.

02:25:34.000 I mean, seriously, like, how do you feel if you're a belt?

02:25:37.000 You pulled off the perfect move, you pop this arm, you won't, right? 1.00

02:25:40.000 You gotta Ronda Rousey that bitch. 1.00

02:25:41.000 You gotta Ronda Rousey it. 1.00

02:25:42.000 Ronda breaks arms.

02:25:43.000 She doesn't wait for you to tap. 0.93

02:25:45.000 She's not even trying to get you to tap. 1.00

02:25:47.000 She's trying to break your shit. 1.00

02:25:48.000 Her mentality is not to tap. 1.00

02:25:49.000 You'll tap and then win.

02:25:51.000 Her mentality is break it, and then they gotta tap. 1.00

02:25:54.000 Then the game's over.

02:25:55.000 Yeah, what a crazy way to make a living.

02:25:58.000 Seriously.

02:26:00.000 So your podcast, you call your podcast Drunk and Taoist?

02:26:02.000 Yep.

02:26:03.000 You're fairly sober.

02:26:05.000 Well, sometimes.

02:26:07.000 Why do you call it Drunk and Taoist?

02:26:10.000 I like wine and I like Taoism.

02:26:12.000 No, I guess, I mean, to me it's like, there's always things like Kung Fu movies or something, the figure of the old dude who looks like old drunk and stuff and he can pull off these amazing things. 0.95

02:26:21.000 It's like, how the fuck did it happen?

02:26:23.000 I dig the idea of figuring out ways, whether it's applied to martial arts or applied to life, to... 0.98

02:26:29.000 Nobody can figure out how you did it, but you pull it off.

02:26:32.000 Right. 0.97

02:26:33.000 And to not think along the same lines like everybody else is going through the plan, there's an obvious A to B, B to C to get the results, but to have an alternate way to get shit done, I like it. 0.74

02:26:44.000 So that's why you came up with Drunken Taoist? 0.91

02:26:46.000 Again, that's the high-minded version.

02:26:48.000 The low-minded version is I like Taoism and I like wine.

02:26:51.000 Did you draw this picture that's on your t-shirt?

02:26:53.000 No, I asked this artist.

02:26:56.000 I told her what I wanted and she worked with me a little.

02:26:59.000 She was really cool.

02:27:00.000 She was awesome.

02:27:01.000 So what is it?

02:27:02.000 Is a dude punching...

02:27:04.000 A guy who's getting kissed?

02:27:06.000 Yeah, there's this guy who's making out with this hot, shapely woman.

02:27:09.000 And while he's making out with her, he's pouring wine over the two of them.

02:27:14.000 And another guy punches him. 0.99

02:27:15.000 Another guy's punching him, and so while he's leaning backward, kissing the woman, he managed to use a leg to kick him in the balls. 0.97

02:27:22.000 That is one of the worst shirts I've ever seen in my life, and you need to burn it and never wear it again. 1.00

02:27:28.000 And you need to question your sanity for mass-producing these fucking things. 1.00

02:27:32.000 I love it! 1.00

02:27:33.000 I love it.

02:27:35.000 It's so multidimensional.

02:27:36.000 Yeah.

02:27:37.000 I'm a lover and a fighter.

02:27:39.000 It's a very strange shirt, dude.

02:27:41.000 You sent in a really confusing message.

02:27:42.000 And you're also a cartoonist.

02:27:45.000 You should have the drunken Taoist adventures. 1.00

02:27:47.000 This guy just running around drinking and making out with chicks and kicking random bullies in the balls. 0.99

02:27:52.000 That's not a bad plan. 0.99

02:27:54.000 You've only been in America a short amount of time, folks.

02:27:56.000 We need to season him. 0.95

02:27:58.000 We need to get Daniele Bolelli just accustomed to our way of life where this is ridiculous.

02:28:03.000 We don't allow you to...

02:28:05.000 The other interpretation, people are like, no, but wait, this dude is punching him and he's leaning back.

02:28:10.000 I'm like, well, in that case, if he still managed to make out with a woman and drink after getting punched, I dig that message too. 1.00

02:28:16.000 I would think he really needs to stop being cocky and let go of the girl and deal with this dude who's trying to kick his ass because this is silly. 0.99

02:28:23.000 If I was your coach, I'd be very mad at you. 1.00

02:28:27.000 You've got to address this situation more rational.

02:28:28.000 We need to be serious about it, right?

02:28:32.000 How often do you do in your podcast?

02:28:34.000 I do twice a month.

02:28:35.000 I do once a month with a guest, and then once a month is like random rants and chat with...

02:28:42.000 My friends Rich and Evan were helping me put together...

02:28:45.000 Did you do it at your house?

02:28:46.000 No, we recorded...

02:28:47.000 Well, actually, we started doing a few at my house.

02:28:50.000 We were doing it in a studio first, and then now we decided moveable studio.

02:28:55.000 So a few times we did it at my house.

02:28:57.000 It was cool. 0.99

02:28:57.000 Yeah, it's cool to be able to do it wherever the fuck you want it, right? 0.99

02:29:00.000 Yeah. 0.92

02:29:02.000 Yeah, it's cool to have a central location, but I like when sometimes when people do, like Ari does a lot of them on the road.

02:29:08.000 He just starts, you know, brings microphones, sets up, and that way, if he's in weird places, he can get strange people.

02:29:15.000 Ari's gone.

02:29:17.000 Ari's gone.

02:29:18.000 Ari moved to New York City.

02:29:19.000 He did?

02:29:20.000 Yep. 1.00

02:29:20.000 Because he's a silly bitch, and he's all Jewed out. 1.00

02:29:23.000 He thinks he can go to the motherland. 1.00

02:29:25.000 He can't go to Israel, so he thinks he's just going to go to New York, and that's the other Jew motherland. 1.00

02:29:31.000 They're going to accept him with open sandwiches. 0.99

02:29:33.000 We had a Going Away podcast where he brought this huge box, and inside the box was just shit that he was going to throw away. 0.98

02:29:39.000 And he's like, you know, if you come to the show, I'm going to get... 0.98

02:29:42.000 Giveaway presents the whole night. 0.99

02:29:43.000 So he had like all this random shit that he like bought when he was really stoned and never used or never even opened the boxes like, you know, random things like raid, air bombs, you know, for cockroaches and like just weird shit. 0.97

02:29:56.000 And then at one point he's like, all right, who here, you know, the next five people who here does drugs, you know, raise your hand. 0.98

02:30:02.000 And he's just throwing out prescription medicine to people.

02:30:05.000 What?

02:30:05.000 He grabs this one thing and he goes, oh, I better not do that.

02:30:08.000 I think it was acid or something.

02:30:10.000 He just puts it in his pocket. 0.98

02:30:12.000 But it was just ridiculous. 0.86

02:30:13.000 And then he opens it. 0.93

02:30:16.000 This thing of joints.

02:30:17.000 And he gives a joint to every single person in the audience.

02:30:20.000 How many people were in the audience?

02:30:21.000 Probably like 30, 40, something like that.

02:30:24.000 He gave 40 joints away?

02:30:26.000 Yeah, he gave a lot.

02:30:27.000 I mean, it was just a huge thing of joints.

02:30:29.000 And then he's just like, alright, everybody smoke it.

02:30:31.000 And so everyone's smoking it.

02:30:33.000 In the comedy store?

02:30:34.000 In the comedy store.

02:30:35.000 You can't even see anything.

02:30:37.000 And there's like this Boston thing going on downstairs for like a marathon event.

02:30:46.000 Charity show?

02:30:47.000 Yeah, charity show.

02:30:48.000 There's this charity show going on and you're just seeing the smoke just gushing down that back hallway.

02:30:53.000 Oh, so that was in the main room, which is right below the belly room.

02:30:59.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

02:31:00.000 It was so funny, though. 0.98

02:31:01.000 That's ridiculous. 0.98

02:31:03.000 Yeah, he literally burned his bridge. 0.98

02:31:06.000 Exactly.

02:31:07.000 Yeah, you can't do that indoors. 1.00

02:31:09.000 They can lose their license for that shit. 1.00

02:31:10.000 You're not supposed to do that, you fuck. 1.00

02:31:12.000 Allegedly, that all happened. 1.00

02:31:14.000 Yeah, allegedly, because the people were smoking in the audience.

02:31:16.000 I think you used to be able to smoke on stage as a part of an artistic performance.

02:31:21.000 I think you can still do that.

02:31:22.000 Still do that?

02:31:22.000 Yeah.

02:31:22.000 Because Stan Hope used to do it.

02:31:24.000 He used to smoke on stage and make fun of how it was a part of an artistic performance.

02:31:28.000 He allowed to smoke on stage. 1.00

02:31:29.000 Some stupid loophole. 1.00

02:31:31.000 Yeah, I remember that because he smoked in Ohio. 1.00

02:31:34.000 He went and played this building that's owned by the campus.

02:31:38.000 It's just like a building for speech and speakers and stuff like that.

02:31:42.000 But it had a bar in it.

02:31:43.000 It was really weird.

02:31:44.000 And I think they tore it down since then.

02:31:45.000 Ohio State.

02:31:46.000 And Doug played and he wanted to smoke so bad.

02:31:49.000 But this is owned by the school and there's definitely no smoking allowed in it.

02:31:53.000 And he goes, I don't care.

02:31:54.000 Everyone can smoke.

02:31:55.000 And he just started smoking.

02:31:56.000 The bartender lady who was just like this older lady that, you know, Probably was retired and just, I don't work at the old college. 0.98

02:32:03.000 But she's like, oh, stop it, please!

02:32:05.000 And she was just getting upset because she didn't know what to do.

02:32:07.000 And the whole campus was just like cigarettes.

02:32:10.000 Everyone was smoking cigarettes in that little...

02:32:12.000 In that little room?

02:32:13.000 Because Stanhope did it on stage?

02:32:15.000 Yeah.

02:32:16.000 So were they allowed to tell him to stop doing it on stage there?

02:32:18.000 Or was it an artistic performance thing?

02:32:21.000 I don't know.

02:32:22.000 He did it anyway.

02:32:23.000 He just didn't care.

02:32:24.000 You told everyone in the audience to do it also. 0.93

02:32:25.000 The problem with cigarettes is it fucks with other people. 0.99

02:32:28.000 That's the problem with that stinky drug. 0.99

02:32:31.000 And it doesn't...

02:32:31.000 That's the one thing that Stan Hope says, that if he could stop...

02:32:34.000 He did this Opinion Anti thing recently where they were talking about addiction because Jim Norton is real clean and... 0.91

02:32:40.000 And it made some news source because it was an interesting conversation where Stan Hope was advocating that he's a shitty comic if he's not drunk. 0.93

02:32:48.000 And that's why he stays drunk. 0.64

02:32:51.000 And that comics like Mitch Hedberg, the only way you would have gotten those guys is with the drugs.

02:32:55.000 Hunter S. Thompson, the only way you would have got him is with the drugs and the alcohol.

02:32:58.000 That's how you create something like that.

02:33:01.000 It's just a weird sort of conversation to get into with people.

02:33:05.000 But he said the one thing that he regrets is the cigarettes.

02:33:08.000 He said it doesn't give you any benefit and he's completely hooked on them.

02:33:12.000 But they say that does give you a benefit.

02:33:15.000 Like synapses, like Stephen King claims that when he stopped smoking that he noticed a difference in his ability to fire.

02:33:22.000 That like his mind fired slower.

02:33:24.000 This was just right after he stopped or like after a while?

02:33:27.000 I don't know.

02:33:28.000 He made a comment on it.

02:33:29.000 I don't think it's right after.

02:33:31.000 I think it's the effect of it.

02:33:32.000 I think when people are on nicotine all the time, nicotine is like some kind of a stimulant.

02:33:37.000 Yeah, it relaxes.

02:33:39.000 It doesn't really relax.

02:33:41.000 Oh, it does.

02:33:42.000 It relaxes your nerves and everything.

02:33:44.000 Right, but the reason why it relaxes is because it feeds your addiction.

02:33:48.000 Is that it?

02:33:48.000 Or is that just what tobacco does?

02:33:51.000 No.

02:33:52.000 When you get an addiction and you become a junkie, you need it, you need it, you need it. 0.99

02:33:57.000 Goddamn, I'm stressed out. 0.99

02:33:58.000 I need it, I need it, I need it. 0.98

02:33:59.000 Ah, I got it.

02:34:01.000 Well, cigarettes relax me. 1.00

02:34:02.000 But they also got you to the point where you needed them where you were fucking crazy. 0.98

02:34:06.000 And it looks cool. 0.98

02:34:07.000 Yeah, but it is a stimulant, meaning it is a drug.

02:34:10.000 But that's not a relaxant.

02:34:11.000 It's the exact opposite of something that relaxes you.

02:34:13.000 A stimulant is the opposite of something that relaxes you.

02:34:18.000 Exactly.

02:34:18.000 That's why you definitely do get that feeling of relaxation.

02:34:24.000 But that feeling of relaxation is the same thing that heroin users get when they shoot up.

02:34:28.000 Right.

02:34:29.000 Boom! 0.99

02:34:31.000 Boom! 0.99

02:34:32.000 Boom! 0.99

02:34:33.000 They see those little white glowing butterflies float out of their soul as they lay back on the pillow and let go of the rubber band.

02:34:42.000 Let that hot heroin just race through your body.

02:34:46.000 I think you just caused about 17 people listening right now to fall back into heroin.

02:34:51.000 The people that have done it, man, that's the problem with heroin. 0.99

02:34:54.000 They say it's fucking awesome. 0.99

02:34:56.000 Yep. 0.98

02:34:56.000 People that have even taken those pills have said it's awesome. 0.98

02:35:00.000 Oxycontins, people that have had Oxycontin issues.

02:35:03.000 Yeah, some guy posted a thread about it on the message board.

02:35:07.000 He was talking about opiates and how amazing they are.

02:35:09.000 It's just terrible that they're so bad for you that you can't care for them, but the feeling apparently is just amazing. 0.62

02:35:15.000 I read somebody a while ago saying, yeah, it's fucked up because it messes you up horrendously, but so we should leave it legal for people who have a few months left to leave? 0.97

02:35:23.000 Because it's like, what are you going to fuck up anyway? 0.99

02:35:25.000 You're dying anyway. 1.00

02:35:27.000 I agree with that.

02:35:27.000 But you feel like a god for the last three months.

02:35:30.000 I agree with that.

02:35:31.000 Well, that's what we're doing anyway.

02:35:32.000 We give them morphine.

02:35:33.000 That's what we're doing when we're giving them Oxycontins.

02:35:35.000 We're basically giving them opiates, right?

02:35:37.000 Right.

02:35:37.000 Morphin is weird.

02:35:38.000 I mean, when you think about the whole thing, it's like how, yeah, speaking of freedoms, it's like people, I'm pro-freedom, except that you can't kill yourself the way you want to.

02:35:46.000 You know, if you're dying a slow, painful disease, you need to die slowly and painfully, because otherwise, because otherwise what?

02:35:51.000 Otherwise the gods are angry.

02:35:53.000 Exactly.

02:35:53.000 It's like, the life is not really...

02:35:55.000 You are not to choose how you stay or leave.

02:35:57.000 But then we have the hospice, which it really...

02:36:02.000 I mean, euthanasia is not legal, so you can't really do it, but we'll just give you morphine for comfort.

02:36:08.000 Wait, you said you need more morphine?

02:36:10.000 Okay, we'll give you a little more.

02:36:11.000 You said you're still in pain?

02:36:13.000 Of course, you just keep shooting up until you die, but rather than doing it in a humane, cool way where you shoot up and you're done in 15 minutes like you do with a dog, you'll do it over a period of days or a week or something, just How dare you compare grandma to a dog? 1.00

02:36:28.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

02:36:31.000 Goddamn crazy Italians. 1.00

02:36:32.000 But the thing is that people are all pissed about, it's terrible. 1.00

02:36:35.000 It's like, well, you don't fucking do it. 0.98

02:36:37.000 How about that? 1.00

02:36:38.000 You die the way you want to.

02:36:39.000 How about you let other people die the way they want to?

02:36:41.000 The problem is that someone can get it and then give it to you.

02:36:44.000 That's the worry. 0.99

02:36:44.000 The worry about having shit that could fuck you up is obviously people doing it to people against their will. 0.99

02:36:51.000 Yeah, that's, of course, but then that's what you work on, on like anything that you don't do, you know, you don't outlaw something just because it can be used against their will. 0.99

02:37:00.000 You work on the fact on those cases when it's used against somebody's will.

02:37:03.000 Which is the argument for not worrying about how many guns are out there, but worrying about the mental health of a nation that allows a certain percentage of people to go on gun Fueled rampages.

02:37:13.000 Right.

02:37:14.000 Who are those people and why are they doing it?

02:37:16.000 Exactly.

02:37:16.000 But nobody concentrates on that.

02:37:18.000 They concentrate on the guns.

02:37:19.000 Yeah.

02:37:19.000 There's too many guns!

02:37:20.000 Right.

02:37:22.000 It's like...

02:37:22.000 No, that's exactly...

02:37:23.000 That's missing the point because it's about...

02:37:24.000 It boils down to...

02:37:26.000 In your hand... 1.00

02:37:28.000 Or, well, I don't know about you, but in somebody's hand, having a fucking atomic weapon wouldn't be a problem because you're not nuts and you're not going to use it. 0.99

02:37:35.000 Are you saying that I would be a problem with an atomic weapon? 1.00

02:37:37.000 I'm just fucking with you. 1.00

02:37:38.000 How dare you. 1.00

02:37:39.000 But you know what I mean.

02:37:41.000 It really boils down to individual to individual.

02:37:44.000 It's not the same thing.

02:37:45.000 The problem comes in because it's who's going to decide who's the same individual and which one isn't.

02:37:50.000 The state, that always works really well.

02:37:53.000 But then if you don't do it, that means every psycho in the world can get easily their hands on some messed up stuff.

02:37:59.000 If you do do it, it's clearly an imperfect system because it's done through the state where there are always enormous loopholes, things that doesn't work, is inefficient.

02:38:07.000 So it's tricky.

02:38:08.000 I can see why people argue passionately both ways because you can see there's kind of a logic both ways in that.

02:38:15.000 Yeah, there's definitely a logic both ways.

02:38:17.000 I mean, the idea that people are smart enough to figure out what to do and not to do has been proven false time and time again. 1.00

02:38:24.000 People are stupid. 1.00

02:38:25.000 There's a shitload of us that are stupid as fuck. 1.00

02:38:28.000 But then the argument is, the reason why they're stupid as fuck is that we allow them to survive Or being stupid and don't allow these dumb mistakes to happen. 1.00

02:38:35.000 They die off. 1.00

02:38:36.000 We're just so attached to every single precious life that we're not allowing stupid people to die from being stupid. 1.00

02:38:42.000 So stupidity is no longer a negative factor in evolution. 1.00

02:38:49.000 You're allowed to be stupid and live. 1.00

02:38:52.000 Stupid fucks. 1.00

02:38:53.000 That's fucking scary at the same time. 1.00

02:38:55.000 That's fucking stupid. 1.00

02:38:57.000 Right? 1.00

02:38:58.000 It's a slippery slope from that to like, well, good eugenics program where we just... 0.74

02:39:03.000 That's not good either.

02:39:04.000 Yeah.

02:39:04.000 You can't do that either.

02:39:06.000 Yeah.

02:39:06.000 Yeah, that's the problem.

02:39:07.000 There's no way to do it right.

02:39:09.000 There's no way.

02:39:09.000 We're just...

02:39:10.000 We're stuck in the middle.

02:39:12.000 We're on a stage of developing and one day we'll be way better than this. 0.99

02:39:18.000 But right now, it's kind of fucked. 0.98

02:39:20.000 Way better than me? 1.00

02:39:21.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:39:22.000 It's possible even better than the god that is Daniele Bolelli. 1.00

02:39:26.000 Jesus.

02:39:27.000 Blasphemy.

02:39:28.000 The future is going to be amazing.

02:39:30.000 We'll have even better gods.

02:39:32.000 Wow.

02:39:33.000 I don't know if I can deal with that.

02:39:35.000 Are you still teaching?

02:39:36.000 Yeah.

02:39:36.000 Where are you teaching at?

02:39:37.000 I'm teaching a few courses at Cal State Long Beach, a few courses at Santa Monica College.

02:39:41.000 Do they ever give you a hard time for your controversial viewpoints?

02:39:43.000 No, I think they decide it's easier to just not deal with it, because if they come after you, then it can open a whole shitstorm of why are you firing him and all of that.

02:39:53.000 Right.

02:39:54.000 So it's like, you know what, whatever.

02:39:55.000 It doesn't matter anyway, because we'll do things the way we want anyway. 0.99

02:39:58.000 Say whatever the fuck you want. 0.99

02:40:00.000 Go in the classrooms. 1.00

02:40:01.000 Does anybody ever take ombrage with some of the things that you say?

02:40:05.000 I'm sure they do, not face-to-face.

02:40:09.000 Nobody says anything, really?

02:40:10.000 Oh, that's kind of cool. 0.99

02:40:11.000 So you teach all this crazy shit in your classes, and everybody's like, well, it's fucking historically accurate. 0.99

02:40:15.000 Yeah, I mean, it's not... 0.99

02:40:18.000 It's like, sure, argue to me about the specific.

02:40:20.000 Even because I don't, in the class, I don't really try to sell a viewpoint.

02:40:24.000 So I'll say something really radical, but I'll also show all the exception to what I just said.

02:40:28.000 Right.

02:40:28.000 So it doesn't sound like I'm trying to sell you something.

02:40:31.000 The reason why I asked you is because you went on some Twitter rampage a while back.

02:40:35.000 Yeah, I was pissed.

02:40:36.000 Yeah.

02:40:37.000 You wrote like a whole essay about the education system. 1.00

02:40:40.000 I had an open letter to academia that closed with the immortal words of Tupac, fuck you and your motherfucking mama. 1.00

02:40:48.000 So, yes, that I'm sure didn't go so well. 1.00

02:40:51.000 Well, that's how you make it count.

02:40:53.000 Yeah.

02:40:53.000 You gotta speak their language.

02:40:55.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:40:58.000 Well, man, listen, I wish I had a fucking teacher like I had Dom Herrera. 0.99

02:41:02.000 He used to be a teacher. 0.99

02:41:03.000 I wish he was one of my teachers, and I wish you were one of my teachers, too.

02:41:06.000 That would have been an amazing time in school. 0.99

02:41:08.000 Instead, I got caught with a bunch of people that made teaching or made school boring as fuck. 0.99

02:41:13.000 That's the majority. 0.98

02:41:14.000 I didn't know that history was interesting until I listened to Dan Carlin.

02:41:17.000 Yeah, but that's what I mean.

02:41:18.000 That's what drives me insane. 0.96

02:41:19.000 A guy like Dan Carlin, who is fucking amazing, in case we haven't made that clear already, he is not a historian and that's why he's fucking amazing. 0.94

02:41:27.000 Because most historians, by the time they got through their PhD, all the creativity, all the juice has been squeezed out of them and there's nothing left because they have been made to conform to this really boring, prudent, careful way of telling stories where they can't say a sentence without 17 exceptions to what they say. 0.93

02:41:45.000 And the evidence here on paragraph 17, it's like nobody wants to listen to it. 0.98

02:41:49.000 It's fucking boring. 0.57

02:41:50.000 Dan Carling goes on, put on a historical podcast and becomes something that people around the world want to listen to because he's a storyteller, because he makes it exciting. 1.00

02:41:57.000 Being boring is a fucking real curse. 0.97

02:42:00.000 Tell me about it. 1.00

02:42:01.000 It's almost like there's something wrong with you if you're boring.

02:42:04.000 It's almost like you can't figure out a better way to express this information. 0.99

02:42:08.000 This information that you're giving, you're giving it in a really fucking shitty way. 0.99

02:42:12.000 Yep. 0.99

02:42:13.000 You need to work on your presentation, son. 0.93

02:42:15.000 And that's the thing that in some way it sucks because you can tell to somebody, look, this sucks because it's so boring and it doesn't have the juice.

02:42:23.000 But the reality is that they...

02:42:25.000 I think they can only improve it 10% because it's not just a technique, it's who you are.

02:42:30.000 These are people who are boring when they step, when they are not teaching and you are talking to them down the street.

02:42:35.000 It's just their personality that comes through.

02:42:37.000 It's like that song, Daniele Bolelli, it takes every kind of people.

02:42:40.000 It takes...

02:42:44.000 I could see Daniel Bellelli sitting around his house with a little incense lit, smoking a joint, listening to some 70s music.

02:42:51.000 Maybe some Jim Croce.

02:42:52.000 70s more.

02:42:54.000 You don't turn on Superman's cape.

02:42:55.000 You don't spit into the wind.

02:42:58.000 You don't pull...

02:42:59.000 No?

02:42:59.000 Seventh is more like Hendrix, Led Zeppelin kind of stuff.

02:43:04.000 Do you do air guitar around the house in your underwear?

02:43:07.000 No, I'm sure I'm going to get to that level, but I haven't quite got to that point yet. 0.99

02:43:12.000 If you do do it, please make a YouTube video so your students know what the fuck they're dealing with. 0.98

02:43:15.000 Sign up at your course. 0.99

02:43:18.000 Can you imagine?

02:43:19.000 You'd probably have a full class if you just played Voodoo Child and just fully lipped all the lyrics, knew all of it, and went around with it. 0.89

02:43:28.000 Yeah.

02:43:28.000 Every other time now, because through online you can find out a lot of things about people, a bunch of students ask me, is that you in this picture where you're holding a kid and you have your middle finger out?

02:43:40.000 You say, what's that about?

02:43:41.000 I'm like, oh yeah, about that.

02:43:43.000 Yes.

02:43:43.000 I was rebellious.

02:43:44.000 It was before I realized the ultimate expression of rebellion is the drunken Taoist t-shirt.

02:43:50.000 Before then, I was holding a baby giving the middle finger.

02:43:53.000 It's another... 0.63

02:43:54.000 I love my Drunken Ties t-shirt, goddammit. 0.99

02:43:57.000 Listen, brother, I'm sorry I talked shit about your t-shirt. 0.98

02:43:59.000 I had to. 0.98

02:43:59.000 I'm a comedian. 0.98

02:44:00.000 I gotta do what I gotta do.

02:44:01.000 I gots to do what I gots to do.

02:44:04.000 And how do they get your podcast?

02:44:05.000 It's on iTunes?

02:44:06.000 iTunes, yes.

02:44:07.000 And if somebody wants to take your class, can they take your class without signing up for anything else at the school?

02:44:12.000 Can you just pay to take your class?

02:44:13.000 Officially, clearly not.

02:44:14.000 But, yeah, whatever.

02:44:16.000 So how would someone make that happen?

02:44:19.000 Long Beach, I'm actually not teaching a whole lot because I'm there mainly, I think I teach just one class and the rest I do online, which sucks anyway because it's, well, in any case.

02:44:28.000 The main thing, so I teach mostly at Santa Monica College live, in person, and it depends on the class.

02:44:34.000 You know, some classes are, they enroll them to the limit.

02:44:37.000 Other classes, they enroll it and then they leave a bunch of empty chairs, so not a big deal.

02:44:41.000 Somebody might be able to show up?

02:44:42.000 Totally.

02:44:43.000 Wow.

02:44:46.000 Daniele Bolelli.

02:44:47.000 Thank you for joining us, my brother.

02:44:49.000 So, The Drunken Taoist is available on iTunes.

02:44:51.000 Do you have a website for it?

02:44:52.000 Yeah.

02:44:53.000 Yeah, there's drunkentaois.com.

02:44:56.000 It's actually thedrunkentaois.com, and then there's just my own website that's linked to that, just my name, danielebolelli.com. 0.96

02:45:02.000 That's it, bitches. 1.00

02:45:03.000 And if you look for him on Twitter, it's dbolelli, B-O-L-L-E-L-I, right? 0.99

02:45:10.000 B-O-L-E-L-L-I. L-E-L-L-I. I tried to freeball it, and I failed miserably.

02:45:15.000 Thank you to audible.com for sponsoring this podcast.

02:45:19.000 Go to audible.com forward slash Joe.

02:45:22.000 Get yourself a free audio book, my friends.

02:45:26.000 Book.

02:45:27.000 We're also brought to you by stamps.com.

02:45:29.000 Click on the microphone.

02:45:31.000 Use the code word JRE for a little special treat and an excellent deal on a great service.

02:45:38.000 And Onnit.com.

02:45:39.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. Use the code name ROGAN and save yourself 10% off any and all supplements. 0.98

02:45:46.000 Brian and I, along with the lovely and talented Ari Shafir, will see you dirty bitches in Canada this weekend. 1.00

02:45:52.000 We will tomorrow night be at... 0.98

02:45:54.000 What's the name of the theater we're doing?

02:45:56.000 He doesn't know. 1.00

02:45:57.000 This motherfucker doesn't know. 1.00

02:45:59.000 I think it's called The Vogue. 1.00

02:46:00.000 Yes.

02:46:01.000 The Vogue Theatre in Vancouver tomorrow night for two shows.

02:46:04.000 So we can't wait. 1.00

02:46:05.000 And we're doing something different this time because you fucking people take too long with your goddamn phones that you don't know how to work. 0.98

02:46:11.000 The camera on, so I'm gonna take all the photos, I'm gonna have someone take them with my camera, so we'll get a perfect picture every time, and then we'll upload it to the website, and you can take it from there. 0.99

02:46:19.000 So it'll also drive traffic to my website. 0.94

02:46:21.000 And don't go, dude, that's fucked up, because I don't wanna hear it! 1.00

02:46:25.000 You bitches need to learn how to use your 1967 fuckin' wack-ass cell phone that I have to wait for. 1.00

02:46:30.000 Damn it! 1.00

02:46:31.000 I shut it off by accident! 1.00

02:46:32.000 Hold on! 0.98

02:46:33.000 And there's a line of a thousand people taking pictures. 1.00

02:46:36.000 That shit's ridiculous to the people that work at the theaters. 0.99

02:46:38.000 So they've requested I streamline the process. 1.00

02:46:40.000 So that is the only solution. 0.99

02:46:41.000 Right, you fucks? 1.00

02:46:42.000 So we love the shit out of you. 1.00

02:46:44.000 And we will see you on Monday. 0.93

02:46:47.000 And that's a wrap.

02:46:49.000 Peace, love, happiness, and good luck in your search for Bigfoot.

02:46:55.000 We'll see you, freaks.

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 09, 2013

Joe Rogan Experience #357 - Daniele Bolelli

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Summary

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