The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #367 - Aubrey Marcus

00:00:03.000 Keep it together, folks.

00:00:05.000 Keep it together.

00:00:06.000 It's so hard to keep it together.

00:00:08.000 We just gotta keep it together.

00:00:09.000 It's so important to keep it together. 0.98

00:00:10.000 I know it's hard as fuck to keep it together. 0.96

00:00:13.000 But keep it together. 0.96

00:00:17.000 Before we get started, we've got some shows coming up.

00:00:19.000 Brian Redband and Tony Hinchcliffe are making their way to Toronto. 0.98

00:00:22.000 Be careful up there, you fucks, because that's Canada, all right? 0.99

00:00:25.000 That's not America. 0.99

00:00:26.000 You've got to be respectful. 1.00

00:00:27.000 Don't go up there throwing your fucking waste products in the street. 1.00

00:00:31.000 Be kind. 1.00

00:00:32.000 Be gentle.

00:00:34.000 Canadians are awesome.

00:00:35.000 You're going to love Toronto.

00:00:35.000 Toronto is very different than Vancouver.

00:00:38.000 Yeah, I think, well, they're both awesome.

00:00:42.000 You know, Canada's like one of my favorite places to perform.

00:00:45.000 I'm doing Winnipeg this weekend.

00:00:46.000 Oh, that's awesome. 0.99

00:00:47.000 It's fucking, they're so fun. 0.99

00:00:50.000 They're like, just like regular American crowds, like a really good American crowd. 1.00

00:00:55.000 Jazz that up like 5%.

00:00:56.000 That's like a really good Canadian crowd.

00:00:58.000 They're like super enthusiastic.

00:00:59.000 They're awesome.

00:01:01.000 And that place that you're going to in Toronto, they may or may not Smoked marijuana while the show was going on.

00:01:07.000 The underground cafe? 0.99

00:01:08.000 And you may or may not not be able to see people in the audience because you're performing in the fucking clouds. 0.97

00:01:14.000 I think it was Esther or somebody went there and they don't smoke weed and they said that they got so stoned that they almost had a panic attack while just doing comedy there. 0.97

00:01:21.000 Is that even possible?

00:01:23.000 No doubt.

00:01:23.000 Absolutely.

00:01:23.000 No doubt.

00:01:24.000 100%.

00:01:25.000 There was no air left in that room.

00:01:27.000 You were only breathing weed.

00:01:28.000 Wow.

00:01:28.000 It was insane.

00:01:29.000 I'd never been so high in my life.

00:01:32.000 There was nowhere else to go.

00:01:34.000 I'd hit the back of the high wall.

00:01:36.000 Like, oh, here we are.

00:01:38.000 It's like, this is the wall.

00:01:39.000 This is the 300-footer.

00:01:41.000 I'm not going to do good.

00:01:42.000 This is going to be scary for me.

00:01:44.000 You're going to be fine.

00:01:45.000 Just don't get too high before you go up there.

00:01:46.000 That's the thing.

00:01:47.000 Just don't get too high before you go up there.

00:01:49.000 Wow.

00:01:50.000 Or get high, like, really early in the day so you're comfortable around, like, 5, 6 o'clock.

00:01:56.000 That's true.

00:01:56.000 You better build up your tolerance.

00:01:57.000 Go over your notes.

00:02:00.000 Or just do a Stonis set everywhere.

00:02:02.000 I'm just making words up.

00:02:03.000 They're great, though.

00:02:04.000 They're great.

00:02:05.000 You're doing three days up there?

00:02:06.000 Yeah, July 11th, 12th, and 13th.

00:02:09.000 It's a great spot.

00:02:10.000 The people that run it are super cool.

00:02:12.000 All that stuff about weed, I made that up.

00:02:14.000 It's not even going on down there.

00:02:16.000 Don't worry about it.

00:02:18.000 But you're going to love it. 0.96

00:02:20.000 And Tony Hinchcliffe, who we've taken with you, is fucking hilarious. 0.83

00:02:24.000 Really funny dude.

00:02:25.000 He's really coming up.

00:02:27.000 We started that new podcast with him, the Hinchcliff Notes, and man, we've only done two episodes, but I really see this becoming big.

00:02:36.000 You know what it's like?

00:02:37.000 It's like American Idol for open micers. 0.99

00:02:40.000 Yeah, you're doing some weird shit with him. 0.97

00:02:41.000 Tell me exactly what you're doing. 0.97

00:02:42.000 What we do is we have a show, and whoever doesn't...

00:02:46.000 The Comedy Store has this sign-up sheet where every Sunday or Monday...

00:02:51.000 You sign up to try to do three minutes on stage, and there's tons of people that pay $20 parking, they try to just get their three minutes of stand-up in, and they don't get on.

00:03:01.000 So we take those people, like the people that didn't make the stand-up.

00:03:04.000 We let them sign up on this list.

00:03:06.000 And then they get to do one minute in front of me, Tony, and whoever the special guest for the week is.

00:03:11.000 And then we pretty much either do this thing called Tag It or Fag It, but it's spelled with a P-H. But we changed it to Fag It. 0.75

00:03:17.000 That's really rude.

00:03:18.000 It's tough for your very first time in comedy to get tagged with the P-H-A-G. That's a kind of a career ender right there. 1.00

00:03:25.000 I think, let me first of all guess, you named that.

00:03:28.000 Right.

00:03:28.000 Okay.

00:03:28.000 Yeah.

00:03:30.000 And second of all, you didn't run it by any of your gay friends first.

00:03:33.000 No, but we changed it this week to bag it just because everyone got nervous.

00:03:37.000 Well, it's unnecessary. 0.96

00:03:39.000 In this day and age, fag is unnecessary. 0.99

00:03:42.000 It's too bad because it was awesome, but we got to let that go. 0.94

00:03:46.000 You know why we got to let it go?

00:03:47.000 We got to let it go sort of in unity to our gay friends. 1.00

00:03:51.000 Because we don't really give a fuck if someone's gay. 1.00

00:03:54.000 I mean, we really don't. 0.99

00:03:55.000 So, like, if you're saying, like, something homophobic just because it's cute and fun to do, if you really don't care if someone's gay, it's like you're doing yourself, like, a little bit of a disservice.

00:04:05.000 You're getting lumped in with something that you don't agree with. 0.93

00:04:07.000 It's absolutely a poop joke. 0.99

00:04:09.000 You know, it's like a cheesy, dumb joke, you know, you would say in high school. 0.98

00:04:13.000 So we changed it to bag it. 0.92

00:04:14.000 And what we do is we pretty much sit there and they do their joke and we either help them.

00:04:18.000 Like, that's a good joke.

00:04:19.000 You know, here's some tags for it and we try to tag it up for them. 0.99

00:04:21.000 Or we just tell them to bag it and get the fuck out of here. 0.98

00:04:24.000 And we kind of almost do it in a roast kind of way. 0.99

00:04:27.000 But last night we were there and this guy came up and he was dressed up as Iron Man.

00:04:32.000 And he just came up to us and goes, I'm a huge Death Squad fan and I wanted to come here and hang out with you guys.

00:04:38.000 So he's now our new security guy, the guy that gets the people off stage.

00:04:43.000 This guy? 1.00

00:04:44.000 What a fucking outfit. 1.00

00:04:46.000 First of all, he's like part Iron Man, part Captain America. 1.00

00:04:49.000 Yeah, look, he has a microphone thing in it.

00:04:52.000 I will lead Death Squad into battle against anyone who would threaten our way of life.

00:04:56.000 Oh my god. 0.75

00:04:57.000 It was so ridiculous having him on board because he ended up being really funny too.

00:05:04.000 Chime in on some of the comics.

00:05:06.000 That's hilarious.

00:05:07.000 The first episode drops this week on iTunes.

00:05:09.000 Okay, and go to GetDeskWad.tv and you can find how to get tickets for the Toronto gig.

00:05:16.000 We're also brought to you by Hover.

00:05:17.000 If you go to Hover.com forward slash Rogan, you will save 10% off your domain name registrations.

00:05:24.000 Hover is a domain name registration company that's owned by the same people that own Ting.

00:05:31.000 They sort of take the same approach.

00:05:33.000 Try not to rip people off.

00:05:35.000 Try to provide a very good service.

00:05:36.000 Try to make it easy to use.

00:05:38.000 And Hover is super easy to use.

00:05:39.000 I've used it myself to register websites, and their user interface is very intuitive.

00:05:45.000 It's super easy.

00:05:45.000 I'm not that technical when it comes to the internet.

00:05:48.000 I'm not that proficient.

00:05:51.000 I fuck up a lot of things. 0.66

00:05:52.000 I'm always calling Brian.

00:05:54.000 It's like, what am I doing? 0.99

00:05:54.000 What's wrong with my fucking phone? 0.99

00:05:56.000 What's wrong with that? 1.00

00:05:57.000 I don't know that much.

00:05:59.000 So if I can do it and do it easily, It's not hard to do. 0.83

00:06:02.000 And they offer free things, like free whois domain name privacy, so that if you have some disgusting website, if you're some sick freak that likes to beat off on feet, there's nothing wrong with that, man. 0.93

00:06:15.000 You know, as long as... 0.94

00:06:16.000 Look, some people like it, I bet.

00:06:18.000 I bet they do.

00:06:19.000 Some people...

00:06:19.000 Don't need to make a bet.

00:06:21.000 It's a fact. 1.00

00:06:21.000 People like bones through their noses, and people like all kinds of crazy shit. 1.00

00:06:25.000 People like tattooing their face. 1.00

00:06:27.000 People like crazy shit, okay? 1.00

00:06:29.000 You can't hate it. 1.00

00:06:31.000 But I don't think I should have to know who owns that website. 0.96

00:06:35.000 And I don't think people should have to know that you're a closet freak.

00:06:38.000 So you can have Whois domain name privacy for free with Hover.

00:06:43.000 It's a cool company.

00:06:44.000 Go check it out.

00:06:45.000 Hover.com forward slash Rogan. 1.00

00:06:48.000 And save yourself some money, bitch. 1.00

00:06:52.000 That's my song. 1.00

00:06:54.000 Boom, son.

00:06:55.000 Go to Hover.

00:06:56.000 We're also brought to you by Onnit.com. 0.99

00:06:58.000 And what a shock, because the fucking CEO of Onnit is here today, ladies and gentlemen. 0.98

00:07:02.000 International world traveler, psychedelic explorer. 1.00

00:07:05.000 Huge cock. 1.00

00:07:07.000 That's what I hear. 1.00

00:07:08.000 Easy.

00:07:09.000 Easy there.

00:07:10.000 There's no need to...

00:07:11.000 Huge is a rude word.

00:07:12.000 Except when I do a boga, of course. 1.00

00:07:14.000 Then it shrinks to the density of Pluto and a small diamond. 0.99

00:07:19.000 He puts T-plus in his dickhole. 1.00

00:07:22.000 How dare you? 1.00

00:07:24.000 I don't think that would be effective.

00:07:25.000 Maybe it would.

00:07:26.000 Imagine if you found out that was the best way to do it, just pack it in there like a musket.

00:07:32.000 Tastes like watermelon.

00:07:34.000 Can you imagine if you could get it?

00:07:36.000 Because there's some drugs that people do take anally, and they actually enjoy it.

00:07:40.000 There's a girl named Neuro Soup, and she did a piece on YouTube where she was talking about, it's got like a billion hits, because she's talking about taking DMT anally. 1.00

00:07:50.000 That she took DMT and she put it in her ass. 0.99

00:07:53.000 And she was one that was in that Vice story, that Hamilton Morris Vice story, where he was talking about how her boyfriend was this gigantic cocaine dealer. 1.00

00:08:02.000 Oh, that's right.

00:08:02.000 An ecstasy dealer.

00:08:04.000 Was that your Hamilton Morris impression?

00:08:07.000 Yeah, that was mine.

00:08:08.000 That's his real voice, man.

00:08:09.000 Don't hate.

00:08:10.000 But this chick had this greatly detailed video about her putting... 1.00

00:08:16.000 DMT in her ass. 1.00

00:08:18.000 And it was this fucking super intense ride with the devil. 1.00

00:08:21.000 What happens? 1.00

00:08:23.000 I one time watched somebody.

00:08:24.000 Goes right into your bloodstream, apparently. 1.00

00:08:26.000 Shit's talking to aliens. 1.00

00:08:27.000 I was at an electronic music conference, and I do not endorse or recommend this behavior whatsoever. 1.00

00:08:31.000 But I watched a girl who said she couldn't get high from ecstasy anymore. 1.00

00:08:36.000 She takes one, and she puts one in her mouth and goes under her little tutu and puts one in her ass at the same time. 1.00

00:08:44.000 And it was like, I hope this works. 1.00

00:08:46.000 Oh my god, I hope this works. 1.00

00:08:48.000 Did she at least break it up before she put it in her ass? 1.00

00:08:51.000 Or she would crunch down with her butt and try to slowly massage it into a fine powder? 1.00

00:08:57.000 Dissolving it with the natural juices. 1.00

00:08:59.000 And why wouldn't you start with your vagina first? 1.00

00:09:01.000 Because it's definitely easier to get juicy in there. 1.00

00:09:03.000 Imagine if you just found out that your asshole is the best thing ever for cracking walnuts. 1.00

00:09:08.000 You're like, there's no way. 1.00

00:09:10.000 My ass has no strength. 1.00

00:09:11.000 But really, you put a walnut in there and it just destroys it. 1.00

00:09:14.000 And you're like, wow.

00:09:15.000 Wow.

00:09:16.000 Have you ever tried to squeeze on your finger?

00:09:18.000 No. 1.00

00:09:18.000 I don't stick things in my ass. 1.00

00:09:20.000 But a doctor did once. 1.00

00:09:21.000 I had a test once, and a doctor looked up my ass with his finger. 1.00

00:09:25.000 I'm like, wow, alright. 0.99

00:09:26.000 I've done a Kalani, and that's a little frightening.

00:09:28.000 Yeah, that seems like a bad idea. 0.79

00:09:31.000 You're gonna stick a pump up your stomach, and you're gonna shoot water in there and clean yourself out, including all the good stuff. 0.83

00:09:37.000 Like, there's a whole civilization going on inside your stomach. 0.92

00:09:39.000 That's true. 0.99

00:09:40.000 And you're going to blast water through your shithole, and then they're going to examine your poop, and you're going to discuss what your diet is? 0.99

00:09:46.000 You get to watch it go through the tube. 0.99

00:09:48.000 How about I just eat salad?

00:09:49.000 It's like excavating.

00:09:51.000 It's like archaeology.

00:09:52.000 You see stratosphere, like layers of the earth from different meals past, years past.

00:09:56.000 You've got the red layer, the brown layer, the yellow layer, the black layer.

00:10:01.000 Just different parts that you see from not just your last meal, but many meals before.

00:10:06.000 I don't know how often you need to do it, but that's what I saw going through the two.

00:10:10.000 So did you feel good after you did it?

00:10:12.000 The very first one I did, I've done like a three or so.

00:10:16.000 This week?

00:10:18.000 Today alone. 0.99

00:10:19.000 Just fucking loving it. 0.98

00:10:20.000 Just clean it. 0.99

00:10:21.000 It's a good excuse.

00:10:22.000 Clean it.

00:10:23.000 No, the very first one I did felt like a slight religious experience.

00:10:27.000 Slight religious.

00:10:27.000 It felt amazing.

00:10:28.000 I walked out of there feeling light and I was cleansed.

00:10:32.000 And the other ones were mostly just uncomfortable and I didn't really notice very much reward.

00:10:37.000 Leading me to believe that colonics are good once every five to ten years or so.

00:10:42.000 Just to kind of, in case there's some shit hiding out and some nooks and crannies, because the digestive tract has all these little spots and nooks and crannies and little areas where waste can collect and start actually really rotting and becoming septic.

00:10:57.000 It's good to get that out of there every once in a while. 0.99

00:10:59.000 Did you see bullshit? 0.99

00:10:59.000 That's my theory. 0.99

00:11:00.000 Did you see bullshit on it? 1.00

00:11:01.000 Penn and Teller's bullshit? 1.00

00:11:02.000 What'd they say? 1.00

00:11:02.000 No, what'd they say? 1.00

00:11:03.000 They pretty much just went to all these doctors and they got this guy on Craigslist that was broke and they gave him like $300 to do it and let them film it.

00:11:11.000 Oh my God.

00:11:13.000 Oh my God.

00:11:14.000 And this poor guy.

00:11:15.000 And so then they went to all the doctors and their doctors were like, it does nothing.

00:11:19.000 It does something.

00:11:22.000 I don't think you can say it does nothing.

00:11:24.000 That seems silly.

00:11:26.000 They seem to be not paying attention. 0.70

00:11:29.000 And they let you watch it, too.

00:11:30.000 Maybe that's the next Onnit product.

00:11:32.000 We'll go with Onnit colonics. 0.95

00:11:34.000 Just colonics and douchebags. 1.00

00:11:35.000 Actual, literal douchebags. 0.97

00:11:37.000 Apparently, there's people that will take Epsom salts and they drink it in a glass, like a couple tablespoons in a glass.

00:11:44.000 Yeah, I do that.

00:11:44.000 Does that go through you like a rocket fuel?

00:11:46.000 That's what I've heard. 0.99

00:11:47.000 I've heard it's just ridiculous. 0.99

00:11:49.000 Gassy, uncomfortable, very diuretic. 0.96

00:11:51.000 Don't recommend that either.

00:11:53.000 But does it have a benefit? 0.99

00:11:54.000 Is there something to do to clean your shithole out? 0.97

00:11:56.000 Yeah, I mean, if you're doing a cleanse, right, and you need to open up the channels... 1.00

00:12:00.000 First of all, if you tell people you're doing a cleanse, chances are you're a douchebag. 1.00

00:12:03.000 If you're one of those fucking guys, I'm cleansing. 1.00

00:12:06.000 I know, bro. 1.00

00:12:07.000 Cleansing, I'm getting very feminine.

00:12:09.000 Cleansing.

00:12:10.000 But if you are doing some kind of fast or some kind of protocol where you are trying to detoxify your body, it's good to open up the channels of elimination. 1.00

00:12:18.000 One of the channels of elimination is shit. 0.97

00:12:21.000 So it's good to actually, because you will get kind of constipated because you're not feeding your body with a bunch of food. 0.99

00:12:26.000 So it's good to actually push that out.

00:12:28.000 But usually better than Epsom salt.

00:12:30.000 It's going to be oxygenated magnesium.

00:12:33.000 There's a couple brands like MAG07 and that, ozonated magnesium.

00:12:37.000 There's a couple different types, but it'll actually help really push that through in kind of a good, healthier way.

00:12:44.000 Does Epsom salts contain magnesium?

00:12:46.000 It does, right?

00:12:47.000 Maybe that is the mechanism for Epsom salt, too.

00:12:49.000 It's a different form.

00:12:50.000 One of the benefits of the tank is that you absorb Epsom salt through your skin. 1.00

00:12:56.000 Son, the fact that you don't have a tank, we gotta get you on that shit. 1.00

00:13:01.000 At this point, that's preposterous. 1.00

00:13:04.000 Agreed.

00:13:05.000 Magnesium's like the thing that we all need, but none of us really get enough of.

00:13:09.000 Yeah, magnesium, zinc, zinc and magnesium.

00:13:13.000 Yeah, a lot of minerals, actually.

00:13:15.000 Remember that guy that was around Dead Doctors Don't Lie, and he was explaining chelated minerals, and he was saying that mineral deficiency is the reason for all these issues in farm animals that we fixed a long time ago, because we just give them mineral-rich diets, and we add minerals to their food.

00:13:31.000 But we don't add minerals to people's food. 0.89

00:13:33.000 He's like, do you know how few people take mineral supplements?

00:13:35.000 And he was talking about all these different deficiencies, calcium, creating osteoporosis. 1.00

00:13:40.000 It was pretty fucking crazy shit. 0.99

00:13:42.000 Pretty convincing because there's not as much mineral in the soil. 1.00

00:13:44.000 I mean, they're replanting over and over again in the same fields, and that's where our vegetables are coming from, constantly replanting.

00:13:50.000 So the minerals in the soil are mostly from the fertilizer, what they're actually putting in.

00:13:54.000 Well, they're not necessarily putting in complete, full-spectrum, balanced minerals back in the soil.

00:13:59.000 So a lot of the food we eat don't have the mineral content that...

00:14:03.000 We originally had if you were farming in a really sustainable way and rotating around, getting new soil, things like that.

00:14:10.000 Solution, though, easiest one, is the Himalayan salt.

00:14:13.000 84 trace minerals right there in the salt.

00:14:16.000 And that's, you know, one of the reasons why salt was so prized back in ancient times is that that's the best source for your mineral, the easiest source, at least.

00:14:24.000 There's a lot of good sources.

00:14:25.000 But there's a really good reason for getting Himalayan salt, right?

00:14:29.000 That's like it's salt that hasn't reached any, there's been no pollution on it.

00:14:33.000 That's it, yeah.

00:14:33.000 It's like 100 million years old.

00:14:35.000 So all of the pollution that's in the world now, everything that's in the air, everything that's in the water and the fish and all that shit, that wasn't around back 100 million years ago.

00:14:44.000 Just pterodactyls and some ancestors roaming around on the ground.

00:14:49.000 So there was nothing to pollute the salt deposits at all.

00:14:51.000 No oil spills, none of that.

00:14:53.000 So it's a very pristine deposit.

00:14:55.000 What do you do?

00:14:55.000 You put like a little in your water in the morning?

00:14:57.000 Yeah, I do it intermittently.

00:14:59.000 I actually like it at night.

00:15:00.000 And I had a pretty dramatic incident where, for like a week, I started going through, I was taking very demineralized water, like highly filtered water, just because it's a water filter that I have.

00:15:13.000 So then I was starting to hear my pulse in my ears when I would go to sleep, and I was having trouble sleeping.

00:15:18.000 And they're like, well, it could be a mineral deficiency for your adrenal glands.

00:15:21.000 And I was like, okay.

00:15:23.000 Really?

00:15:23.000 Yeah, they're like, take a bunch of salt before you go to bed, Himalayan salt before you go to bed.

00:15:28.000 I did that and made a dramatic difference.

00:15:30.000 So now, for me, I take more salt at night before I go to bed, and I sleep a lot better, and I don't get that.

00:15:37.000 It wasn't so much that I was...

00:15:39.000 It's just I could hear my pulse in my ears, and I felt like...

00:15:42.000 Mineral deficiency would cause that.

00:15:45.000 Did they explain the mechanism?

00:15:46.000 How does the mineral deficiency cause that?

00:15:47.000 The adrenal glands need the minerals to function at an optimal level, like most of the systems in our body.

00:15:53.000 So all kinds of systems need the minerals.

00:15:56.000 Minerals are kind of the foundation of what makes us up, makes everything run really well.

00:16:00.000 So were you drinking distilled water?

00:16:02.000 Is that what it was?

00:16:02.000 Highly, highly distilled water.

00:16:04.000 Like Kangen water.

00:16:05.000 It's called Kangen water.

00:16:06.000 So not just filtered, distilled.

00:16:08.000 But like completely mineral-devoid water at my house.

00:16:12.000 And I was eating good vegetables and stuff, but the vegetables don't have all of those minerals.

00:16:16.000 And I would occasionally sprinkle salt on my food, but I wasn't really paying attention to my salt.

00:16:22.000 You know, and then I tried to regiment it and actually supplementally take it, and it made a huge impact for me.

00:16:29.000 Wow.

00:16:29.000 Yeah, because you have to be careful with that.

00:16:31.000 I mean, all these water systems, I mean, this is a fancy water system.

00:16:33.000 I'm not endorsing it by any means.

00:16:35.000 It's just good to take everything out, but it takes too much out.

00:16:38.000 You have absolutely no minerals and electrolytes in your water if you're using one of these highly filtered systems.

00:16:44.000 So...

00:16:44.000 Adding a pinch of that salt back in is going to be important.

00:16:48.000 That's what your body runs on.

00:16:49.000 That's interesting.

00:16:50.000 What about spring water?

00:16:52.000 Is that the best water to get in your body?

00:16:55.000 There's a difference between spring water.

00:16:57.000 What is the difference between spring water and Dasani?

00:17:00.000 Those are filtered waters, right?

00:17:02.000 Right.

00:17:02.000 They're basically taking water from anywhere.

00:17:04.000 It can be as dirty as...

00:17:06.000 Can be. 1.00

00:17:06.000 And they're just running it through adequate filters to take the bad shit out of it. 1.00

00:17:10.000 And that's distilled. 0.99

00:17:11.000 That's filtered water.

00:17:12.000 Now, spring water is actually filtered either through the ground, which is the best way to do it, like a volcanic system where the water naturally filters through the lava and comes out.

00:17:22.000 And that's going to collect all the minerals through the earth that you really need.

00:17:26.000 And that's going to be the best way to do it.

00:17:28.000 Yeah, my friend's place in Colorado has a well.

00:17:31.000 Yeah.

00:17:31.000 Perfect.

00:17:32.000 Perfect.

00:17:32.000 She gets it, like, right from the well.

00:17:34.000 It's incredible.

00:17:35.000 It's like spring water.

00:17:36.000 Totally.

00:17:37.000 So, like, you have free spring water.

00:17:38.000 You probably need half the Himalayan salt or a quarter.

00:17:41.000 Maybe you don't need any.

00:17:42.000 I don't even know how rich that water is.

00:17:44.000 But you'll need way less than if you're constantly drinking filtered, distilled water. 0.99

00:17:47.000 Yeah, they pull water right out of the fucking ground up there, man. 0.99

00:17:51.000 It's nuts. 0.99

00:17:52.000 I mean, that's where they're getting their water.

00:17:53.000 They're getting free spring water, just pulling it out of the ground.

00:17:56.000 It's like, try drinking some water here.

00:17:58.000 Yeah.

00:17:59.000 You know? 1.00

00:17:59.000 Try going through Studio City and digging a fucking hole in the ground and find a way. 1.00

00:18:03.000 Yeah, not going to be good. 1.00

00:18:04.000 Suck it out with a straw. 1.00

00:18:05.000 You're dead. 1.00

00:18:06.000 Even some places out in the hill country in Texas, we have wells, and you bring it out, it smells like eggs. 0.95

00:18:11.000 Yeah.

00:18:11.000 I mean, it's sulfur.

00:18:12.000 Sulfuric.

00:18:13.000 Sulfuric.

00:18:13.000 And there's no way you're going to stomach drinking that.

00:18:16.000 That's so nasty.

00:18:17.000 And the Himalayan salt that you have on onnit.com is to prove, too, so...

00:18:21.000 It's what?

00:18:22.000 Jew-proved. 0.98

00:18:22.000 Jew-proved? 0.98

00:18:23.000 What does that mean?

00:18:24.000 It's kosher, baby.

00:18:25.000 Oh, it's kosher.

00:18:26.000 I don't even know what that means.

00:18:27.000 Does that mean?

00:18:29.000 I think a rabbi has to bless it.

00:18:31.000 I don't know.

00:18:32.000 I think it has to fit certain parameters.

00:18:34.000 It has to poke it. 0.99

00:18:36.000 You can't rub his balls on it. 0.99

00:18:37.000 You know none of that. 1.00

00:18:39.000 Definitely not.

00:18:39.000 He has to know that the process has been observed.

00:18:43.000 Yeah.

00:18:43.000 They have like real strict rules.

00:18:44.000 I think like with slaughtering animals especially.

00:18:47.000 Yeah.

00:18:48.000 Very specific rules about what's kosher and what's not.

00:18:51.000 But you know what's not kosher?

00:18:52.000 Bacon. 1.00

00:18:53.000 So kosher's stupid. 1.00

00:18:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:18:55.000 Okay? 0.98

00:18:55.000 That's ridiculous. 0.98

00:18:57.000 Okay? 0.97

00:18:57.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:18:58.000 If you don't like bacon, you can go fuck yourself. 1.00

00:19:00.000 For real. 1.00

00:19:01.000 I was thinking about that, and I kind of feel like the Jews are pretty cool with masturbation and pretty cool with sex. 1.00

00:19:07.000 I feel like they had to pick something that they could outlaw and say, forbidden. 0.99

00:19:12.000 And they were just like, ah, bacon. 1.00

00:19:14.000 We can live without that shit. 1.00

00:19:15.000 We'll jerk off all day. 1.00

00:19:16.000 We'll fuck whoever we want. 1.00

00:19:17.000 But bacon, we're going to outlaw that so people take our religion seriously. 1.00

00:19:21.000 And dirty salt.

00:19:21.000 You think of how much trichinosis pigs have.

00:19:24.000 That's true.

00:19:24.000 The thing about pigs is that they're omnivores and they oftentimes are scavengers.

00:19:29.000 So they'll eat like wormy food, man.

00:19:32.000 And you can get all kinds of horrible diseases if you don't cook their meat. 0.98

00:19:36.000 So I'm sure back when they did a shitty job of cooking meat and they didn't know what the fuck worms were, they would eat that stuff and get really sick and possibly even die. 0.97

00:19:44.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:19:44.000 Bacon back then was like raw dog or girl in Africa. 0.99

00:19:47.000 Yeah.

00:19:47.000 It's dangerous.

00:19:48.000 Pigs would just be wandering around. 0.96

00:19:49.000 Do it at your own risk.

00:19:50.000 Yeah.

00:19:51.000 But it's tempting, you know, because it's delicious.

00:19:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:19:55.000 They didn't know what the fuck they were doing. 1.00

00:19:57.000 And those pigs are wild, too. 1.00

00:19:59.000 Just eating fucking cadavers and shit. 1.00

00:20:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:20:03.000 Wild pigs are dirty freaks. 1.00

00:20:04.000 Getting rid of evidence. 1.00

00:20:07.000 Yeah.

00:20:07.000 Like that movie Snatch, right?

00:20:09.000 We talked about that.

00:20:11.000 This is not even a commercial anymore.

00:20:14.000 But that's how it goes.

00:20:15.000 Himalayan salt.

00:20:16.000 Yeah, go get some.

00:20:17.000 If you haven't been to the fitness section of Onnit, we got pretty much anything you need for a serious, rigorous strength and conditioning program.

00:20:25.000 We provide it all.

00:20:26.000 When we talk about stuff for functional strength...

00:20:28.000 Weight vests, battle ropes, kettlebells, steel mesas and steel clubs, both of them, which are excellent for developing full body movement and the kind of strength that you could really translate into any athletic endeavor.

00:20:45.000 Or murder.

00:20:46.000 Well, if you're, you know, I guess if you had to. 0.99

00:20:48.000 Be a really slow shot.

00:20:50.000 The steel mace in the club.

00:20:52.000 If you're really strong.

00:20:54.000 We also have jump ropes now, pull-up bar, medicine balls.

00:20:59.000 Full home gym.

00:21:00.000 And, you know, and really like functional stuff.

00:21:02.000 And two of the best DVDs.

00:21:05.000 We eventually will make our own DVD. We promise you this.

00:21:08.000 We promise you this.

00:21:09.000 But for now, the Extreme Kettlebell Cardio DVD 1 and 2. By the fabulous Keith Weber.

00:21:17.000 It's tough to keep those fucking things in office, right? 0.99

00:21:20.000 We actually took over production, so we got us covered. 0.99

00:21:23.000 You can hammer us with those things now.

00:21:24.000 We're not waiting for old Keith and April from Canada to send them to us. 0.95

00:21:28.000 You finally worked it out, right?

00:21:29.000 Yeah, we worked it out.

00:21:30.000 It was impossible to get those DVDs.

00:21:33.000 No, it was.

00:21:33.000 It was an international incident every time we had to try and get them.

00:21:36.000 I hope you're happy, Keith.

00:21:38.000 Keith is happy.

00:21:39.000 I hope he's happy.

00:21:40.000 Keith is happy.

00:21:40.000 Hey, he deserves it.

00:21:41.000 He does. 1.00

00:21:42.000 He killed it.

00:21:42.000 That is a badass workout.

00:21:44.000 Both of them.

00:21:45.000 They're ruthless.

00:21:46.000 So if you've never done any kettlebells before, really, I urge you to start slow.

00:21:52.000 Start slow, and if you can, hire...

00:21:54.000 A trainer, to someone who's kettlebell certified, to just go over the movements with you.

00:22:00.000 You can work out at home.

00:22:01.000 You can totally get...

00:22:02.000 I do kettlebell workouts at home all the time.

00:22:05.000 But the first couple times you're doing it, it would be really smart if you're paid very close attention to technique and very close attention to your form and make sure you don't hurt yourself.

00:22:15.000 We don't want you hurting yourself, fellas and gals. 1.00

00:22:17.000 We have a bunch of videos up from the IKFF, which is one of our really cool new partners.

00:22:22.000 They're...

00:22:22.000 One of the biggest sanctioning bodies for kettlebell sport here in the U.S. And two of their top athletes are on the side as well, giving some instructional tips.

00:22:31.000 And where is that if you try to find that on the website?

00:22:33.000 You can go to our YouTube page or you can go to, you should be able to navigate to it from the kettlebells themselves, not the DVD. But if you go to the YouTube page, you can definitely check that out.

00:22:43.000 And Ken Blackburn, Mitch Blackburn, father and son.

00:22:46.000 Mitch is like 165 pounds and set the American record for the clean and press, double clean and press with 72 pounds on each kettlebell.

00:22:56.000 How many times did he do it?

00:22:57.000 He did it like 65 times in 10 minutes without putting him down.

00:23:01.000 Doubles on that.

00:23:02.000 God, that's insane.

00:23:02.000 And he's like 165 pounds, 19-year-old kid.

00:23:05.000 You can see him on the honor roll, actually, if you look up Mitch Blackburn. 0.91

00:23:08.000 That's some ridiculous strength.

00:23:09.000 But it just shows you what you can do. 0.91

00:23:10.000 Yeah, it is.

00:23:12.000 And his form.

00:23:13.000 These guys, their form is impeccable.

00:23:14.000 Yeah, but you have to.

00:23:15.000 They're not wasting any energy at all.

00:23:17.000 It was cool to watch him, cool to learn from.

00:23:19.000 You know what's really fascinating about a lot of these guys is they don't look like, they're not like bodybuilder looking guys.

00:23:26.000 It's like they have this incredible strength for the amount of mass that they carry around.

00:23:31.000 Like you were saying this guy's 160 pounds?

00:23:33.000 Yep, 165 pounds.

00:23:34.000 Jesus Christ!

00:23:35.000 I know.

00:23:36.000 That's that tiny little fella. 1.00

00:23:38.000 There's the guy right there. 0.99

00:23:39.000 The fact that a guy that weighs 160 fucking pounds can throw two 72 pound kettlebells around like that. 0.99

00:23:46.000 He was ripping the 90s up and snatching the 90s. 0.99

00:23:49.000 That's insane.

00:23:49.000 Whatever.

00:23:49.000 That's insane.

00:23:50.000 What do you want me to do?

00:23:51.000 Okay.

00:23:52.000 You got some chalk here.

00:23:53.000 People who don't know, like for the average folk, you would struggle with a 35-pounder.

00:23:59.000 Trust me.

00:24:00.000 It's hard.

00:24:01.000 The first time you do it, it's real awkward. 0.96

00:24:03.000 But what it develops, I am a fucking huge proponent of kettlebells.

00:24:07.000 What it gives me is like real functional strength. 0.88

00:24:11.000 Like functional strength that just directly translates to Jiu Jitsu.

00:24:15.000 I noticed a big difference in my rolling.

00:24:18.000 When I got really heavy with kettlebells.

00:24:20.000 Because it transferred my workouts from, oh, today I'm going to bench, tomorrow we're going to do squats.

00:24:26.000 You know, that gets you stronger.

00:24:27.000 But there was something different about doing it all together.

00:24:30.000 When you were doing, like, you know, like alternating cleans and clean press squats and these crazy full body exercises.

00:24:38.000 Like, you didn't just get stronger, you also got more fit.

00:24:42.000 You also got, like, more endurance.

00:24:43.000 You also got, like, translatable explosive energy.

00:24:47.000 Some of those other main lifts, like bench and squat, they're really good for getting you bigger in particular.

00:24:52.000 And stronger in certain finite ways.

00:24:55.000 But if you're talking about general functional strength, the kettlebells, the clubs, the battle ropes, the bases, that's really going to get the job done.

00:25:03.000 Functional strength.

00:25:03.000 And it gives you a balanced strength.

00:25:05.000 And look, if you want to get crazy, I mean, like a lot of people, there's dudes that can squat 225 pounds easy.

00:25:12.000 Like I've met a lot of guys who can do that.

00:25:15.000 But how many guys could do that with two 120-pound kettlebells?

00:25:20.000 Tell me you really can do that?

00:25:22.000 You can clean and squat two 120-pound kettlebells?

00:25:26.000 You probably can't.

00:25:27.000 You're gonna wobble all over the place.

00:25:29.000 You're dealing with this weird thing that you have to kind of control and balance with.

00:25:33.000 You gotta learn how to hold on to them correctly. 0.98

00:25:36.000 You gotta build this weird kind of functional strength where you're swinging these fucking cannonballs around and catching them on your forearm without snapping your arm. 0.99

00:25:45.000 Yep. 1.00

00:25:45.000 It's manly shit, folks. 1.00

00:25:47.000 Go to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T. Use the code name ROGAN and you will save 10% off any and all supplements. 0.99

00:25:53.000 Did someone fart?

00:25:55.000 Seriously.

00:25:55.000 I didn't.

00:25:56.000 Any natural dick pills coming soon? 0.99

00:25:59.000 You know, that was back in my old business, you know, the natural, the dick pills. 0.99

00:26:04.000 We had those rock hard weekends, but we found out. 0.99

00:26:06.000 The whole game in a lot of those pills is you just sneak a little Viagra in it, and then you get popped, and then you sneak a little Cialis in it, and then you get popped, and then your third version is just pretty garbage.

00:26:17.000 I mean, once you get used to the paradigm of what those drugs can do, just forget it.

00:26:22.000 I mean, you can take all the herbs you want, and it's not going to really move the needle, so to speak.

00:26:27.000 But, you know, I mean, you can help support the systems in general, like with T +, but as far as dick pills themselves, Forget it. 0.99

00:26:34.000 And size is a fucking joke. 0.99

00:26:35.000 That doesn't even exist. 0.98

00:26:36.000 So there's no, like, ant boners or anything that you could put in there that's just natural stuff?

00:26:40.000 All that stuff that they're calling ant boners is just Viagra, bro.

00:26:44.000 Ant pills.

00:26:45.000 A lot of the ones in the gas station actually work because they're putting...

00:26:49.000 Like Chinese Viagra in there. 0.85

00:26:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:26:51.000 So it's like you think they're a real piece of shit, but you look at some terrible label on the gas station, it's like, I don't know, phasered, laser, hard five. 1.00

00:26:59.000 And you're like, what the hell is that? 1.00

00:27:00.000 But if you take it, it's like a little bit of Chinese Viagra.

00:27:04.000 It's great. 0.99

00:27:04.000 It's just so ridiculous. 0.99

00:27:06.000 He's so ridiculous. 1.00

00:27:07.000 Like, why wouldn't you take the real pharmaceutical drug where you know what it is? 0.99

00:27:10.000 He's like, let's just hope this one works.

00:27:12.000 Because some are more powerful than others.

00:27:14.000 This isn't anthrax.

00:27:15.000 So you lose all responsibility for what happens based on the luck of the draw? 0.59

00:27:20.000 It's kind of luck of the draw, but I've found a couple of them that you really take, and it's the most ridiculous bonus ever. 0.67

00:27:26.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

00:27:27.000 But it lasts seven days.

00:27:29.000 Or then it's the Cialis one.

00:27:30.000 Hey, listen.

00:27:31.000 Don't die.

00:27:32.000 Please, don't die.

00:27:34.000 Onnit.com.

00:27:35.000 O-N-N-I-T. Use the code name ROGAN. Save yourself 10% off any and all supplements.

00:27:40.000 Brian.

00:27:52.000 That one's not good.

00:27:56.000 But hey, you never know until you try.

00:27:58.000 Can't hate a guy for trying.

00:28:00.000 Exactly. 1.00

00:28:01.000 This motherfucker and his dick pills. 1.00

00:28:03.000 You believe this guy? 1.00

00:28:05.000 I took two different brands last week. 1.00

00:28:07.000 Why not go to a doctor and tell him your dick is broken? 1.00

00:28:10.000 Because it's not broken. 1.00

00:28:11.000 He will give you amazing drugs.

00:28:13.000 I'm not saying that it's broken.

00:28:14.000 I'm saying tell the doctor it's broken.

00:28:16.000 Do they have a test, though?

00:28:17.000 Does he rub it and go like, you're lying? 1.00

00:28:19.000 He sucks your cock for five minutes, and if you can think of dead puppies for five minutes, then he'll give you the pills. 1.00

00:28:25.000 That's Yeah, they can't say no, can they? 1.00

00:28:28.000 There's no way for them to test that.

00:28:29.000 Of course they can't say no. 0.93

00:28:30.000 No, they stimulate your prostate with a large three-finger death grip.

00:28:36.000 And then if you get hard, they don't give you the pill. 0.53

00:28:38.000 Oh, whatever.

00:28:40.000 I'm there.

00:28:42.000 They can't, obviously.

00:28:43.000 I mean, they're going to take your word for it.

00:28:45.000 Why would you say that you can't get hard if you could get hard?

00:28:48.000 Well, you wouldn't lie about that, would you? 0.99

00:28:52.000 Nobody breaks their dick with that stuff, do they? 1.00

00:28:54.000 Can you possibly break it so that you can't get a boner without it? 1.00

00:28:58.000 You know how some dudes get addicted to those sinus sprays?

00:29:01.000 The biggest problem is the psychological addiction.

00:29:05.000 Back when we were selling the rock hard that worked...

00:29:08.000 Back at Fleshlight because it had Viagra or Cialis in it or whatever it had in it.

00:29:12.000 I don't know.

00:29:13.000 But back when it worked, there was people who would take it and they'd start off with a girl, right?

00:29:18.000 And they'd be hooking up with a girl and they'd be like, oh my god, you're a god among men.

00:29:22.000 And then they'd get that in their head.

00:29:23.000 And then if they didn't have it, they would start to panic.

00:29:28.000 And then their brain would start to take action.

00:29:30.000 As soon as the brain...

00:29:32.000 Isn't it crazy how different you can get excited for one girl over another?

00:29:39.000 Like there are some girls, and we all know them in your life, where when you're around them it's just like instant flagpole.

00:29:47.000 And then there's other girls where it's just, just for whatever reason, they can look just as pretty, they can be just as nice, they can be just as attractive, but there's some freak connection you have with certain people.

00:30:00.000 I think it's the smell.

00:30:00.000 I think it's the juice.

00:30:01.000 Really?

00:30:01.000 Do you think so?

00:30:02.000 Pheromones, yeah, I think so.

00:30:04.000 Same thing, really, what you're saying is kind of true, like the juice.

00:30:07.000 Yeah, the aju. 0.98

00:30:08.000 Their essence.

00:30:09.000 The aju. 0.99

00:30:12.000 Is that what you say?

00:30:13.000 What is that French dip?

00:30:15.000 They say aju, is that what it's called?

00:30:16.000 Aju.

00:30:17.000 I never knew how to say that.

00:30:18.000 They've done some experiments.

00:30:20.000 I know it on the other way, where they've had guys sleep in the same shirt for a few weeks or whatever, and then they have girls smell the shirts.

00:30:28.000 And they'll be very attracted to one shirt and completely repulsed by another shirt just by smelling the actual pheromones in it.

00:30:35.000 Well, I would lose that one.

00:30:37.000 For sure. 1.00

00:30:39.000 I fucking stink, man. 1.00

00:30:41.000 I'm going down. 1.00

00:30:43.000 I eat too much meat. 1.00

00:30:45.000 It's all coming out of my pores and shit. 1.00

00:30:46.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:30:47.000 I've smelled some of my clothes.

00:30:48.000 Some savage girls. 1.00

00:30:48.000 The worst is jujitsu. 1.00

00:30:51.000 Because you sweat so much and then you take your shit off and you throw it in your gym bag. 0.99

00:30:55.000 And then you throw your gym bag in a trunk where it cooks. 1.00

00:30:58.000 Yeah.

00:30:58.000 Because it's 110 degrees in LA. So you're driving around with your gym bag cooking in the trunk.

00:31:03.000 And then you pop that bitch open and unzip it. 1.00

00:31:05.000 And it's just like... 0.98

00:31:07.000 And ammonia, and funk, and that's where there's a lot of skin diseases that people get from that stuff, because they don't wash those things enough. 0.96

00:31:15.000 And essentially, you're rolling around in microbes, and bacteria, and shit. 0.88

00:31:19.000 And the worst part is not when it's fresh. 0.99

00:31:21.000 Like, fresh sweat is not the worst.

00:31:22.000 Right.

00:31:23.000 Same as fresh urine.

00:31:24.000 You can drink your own fresh urine all the time.

00:31:26.000 Believe me, I know. 1.00

00:31:28.000 But if you leave a cup of that urine out for a day or so, don't fucking drink that. 1.00

00:31:33.000 That's poison. 0.99

00:31:33.000 I would agree with you. 0.99

00:31:34.000 Because it's like a breeding ground for further bacteria.

00:31:37.000 Same with your gym clothes.

00:31:38.000 I would agree that is sound advice.

00:31:41.000 Don't drink old piss.

00:31:43.000 That should be a meme.

00:31:45.000 That's the next meme. 0.88

00:31:46.000 But you, Uncle Aubrey says, don't drink old piss.

00:31:53.000 Hear it on it.

00:31:54.000 We don't recommend drinking your own piss when it's old.

00:31:57.000 Stir it first.

00:31:57.000 So I'm thinking of trying to do an Amanita muscaria experience.

00:32:02.000 And I'm thinking I'm going to eat it and then drink my piss and see what's up.

00:32:05.000 Yeah, that's what you're supposed to do.

00:32:07.000 I would say no.

00:32:08.000 What?

00:32:08.000 Let's say don't do it.

00:32:09.000 Just try it once and then...

00:32:11.000 I've got to try it.

00:32:12.000 I've tried everything else.

00:32:13.000 For real, folks.

00:32:15.000 This is the shamanic tradition.

00:32:16.000 I know you're listening to this and you're like, there's no way these guys are serious.

00:32:19.000 No, the true shamanic tradition is...

00:32:22.000 It was explained to me by this guy, Jack Herrer, and he said that the idea is that you eat the drug, the plant, the mushroom, which has a very different, it's not psilocybin, it's some other type of hallucinogenic.

00:32:38.000 What you're shooting for is muscimol.

00:32:40.000 The active compound is muscimol, and it acts on a very different mechanism, actually.

00:32:45.000 So the mechanism of action of Amanita muscaria, it actually acts as a GABA agonist.

00:32:50.000 So it's going to give you more of the neurotransmitter GABA, whereas psilocybin, the mechanism of action that they're recently finding, which I learned a lot about at the MAPS conference, is the mechanism of action of psilocybin is it's actually restricting blood flow to your default mode network part of your brain,

00:33:05.000 which is your top-down control mechanism in your brain.

00:33:08.000 So that basically your mental cerebral filter that allows you to focus on the day-to-day mundane tasks starts to go to sleep.

00:33:16.000 And that happens to be the center that controls depression and a bunch of other things, which is why the clinical application is proving so important and impressive in all these people.

00:33:25.000 But that's a totally different mechanism of action than the Amanita Muscaria, which is basically flooding your brain with more GABA, from what I understand.

00:33:34.000 But the muscimol is a tricky beast, and it doesn't necessarily come out through your gut. 0.72

00:33:39.000 However, once it gets processed through your kidneys and you piss it, It can be passed up to five times, they say, through different people. 0.99

00:33:48.000 So, like, I could piss, and then you could drink it, you could piss, give it to Brian, he could drink it, and then Brian could give it to two other people, and everybody would be high as fuck. 0.99

00:33:58.000 Wow. 0.99

00:33:59.000 That's what they say.

00:34:00.000 How would they know?

00:34:01.000 How would they know?

00:34:02.000 Why would they find out?

00:34:03.000 What are we doing with our lives?

00:34:05.000 We're sitting around drinking each other's piss to get high.

00:34:07.000 What are you seeing, fairies? 1.00

00:34:09.000 Cocksucker? 0.99

00:34:10.000 Drinking piss and watching Pluto? 0.99

00:34:13.000 You're supposed to be kind of like a little bit drunk and a little bit like a little bit High, like a psychedelic?

00:34:21.000 I only had one experience and it didn't work.

00:34:23.000 You didn't drink your own piss.

00:34:24.000 You gotta commit.

00:34:25.000 You gotta go in.

00:34:27.000 You can't just put the tip in.

00:34:28.000 You gotta go balls deep.

00:34:30.000 Is that how it works? 0.91

00:34:31.000 You're supposed to just eat it and then drink your own piss and that's what gets you high?

00:34:34.000 I mean, there's some ways that I think you can heat it and lightly bake it.

00:34:38.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:34:38.000 But I think the surefire way, if you really want to commit, is to eat it, then drink your piss, and then you can, you know, But you'd feel so stupid if it didn't work. 0.99

00:34:48.000 That's true. 1.00

00:34:49.000 Sitting there with piss mouth and not high and just thinking, what kind of a loser am I? I should just become a Republican. 0.99

00:34:54.000 Okay, I should just go the other way and get single malt scotch and sneak in some Cuban cigars and just become an asshole. 1.00

00:35:01.000 You should have rented a movie. 1.00

00:35:05.000 But if it works, sitting around eating mushrooms and drinking piss, what the fuck am I doing with my life? 1.00

00:35:12.000 He got a dirty garage. 0.99

00:35:13.000 I was going to get to that, but I had to eat mushrooms and drink my own piss first. 0.99

00:35:17.000 I'm a fucking real winner over here. 0.99

00:35:19.000 I'm going to film it for all the savages. 0.98

00:35:22.000 Because it is perfectly legal in the U.S. Amanita muscari is not a scheduled substance.

00:35:26.000 So the reward, if it works and it was awesome, is pretty cool.

00:35:30.000 Because we'd actually have something legal to do.

00:35:31.000 Yeah, and you're just going to encourage people to do that?

00:35:34.000 No, I'm not encouraged.

00:35:35.000 Look, please, let me be the guinea pig here.

00:35:37.000 I don't know.

00:35:38.000 It could be terrible, but I'll let you know.

00:35:40.000 You have to post it if it's bad also. 0.94

00:35:41.000 You have to have a post of it if you're sitting there just like, oh, with pissy mouth.

00:35:44.000 Just mad at myself.

00:35:45.000 Just self-hate.

00:35:47.000 Just feeling the lowest of the low.

00:35:49.000 I've never met anybody who's had a good one, who's had a good Amanita muscaria experience.

00:35:54.000 Not that I can remember anybody telling me about one.

00:35:57.000 They've always said, like, oh, it didn't work for me.

00:35:59.000 Yeah, I met somebody who had a...

00:36:01.000 Weird one and a not so good one.

00:36:04.000 Bad odds.

00:36:05.000 You just want to drink pee, bro.

00:36:07.000 Weird and not so good, but there is piss drinking, so come on! 0.51

00:36:11.000 Join the party!

00:36:12.000 You know, there's such a tradition around it, though, you know? 0.95

00:36:15.000 Not only that, we can all drink each other's piss.

00:36:17.000 Come on over here.

00:36:18.000 Aubrey's got it all figured out.

00:36:19.000 You just got to get it fresh.

00:36:20.000 See?

00:36:21.000 One guy pisses into you, and then you piss it in.

00:36:23.000 No, no, no, see?

00:36:24.000 That's not how it's done.

00:36:26.000 I forgot to bring cups.

00:36:27.000 I thought how it works. 1.00

00:36:28.000 I just piss in your mouth. 1.00

00:36:29.000 Is that what we're doing here? 1.00

00:36:30.000 Straight from the spout.

00:36:31.000 What kind of party are we doing here?

00:36:33.000 It's the freshest way to get it. 1.00

00:36:34.000 We're pissing his ass. 1.00

00:36:34.000 I'll piss in your mouth. 1.00

00:36:36.000 We're going to work this out. 1.00

00:36:37.000 We're going to get high as fuck. 1.00

00:36:39.000 The human dick-a-peed. 1.00

00:36:41.000 The human dicker, Pete. 1.00

00:36:44.000 That is exactly what it would be. 0.96

00:36:47.000 He's trying to trick us. 1.00

00:36:48.000 And when you stumble upon this fucking party, open up the tent door, what the fuck? 1.00

00:36:52.000 Just piss all over the place, a bunch of guys with their cocks in their hands. 1.00

00:36:55.000 We're just trying to get enlightenment. 0.98

00:36:56.000 But imagine if it does work and you get someone really high and they love it, then you could trick them constantly.

00:37:01.000 There you go.

00:37:02.000 I just took some.

00:37:04.000 Here's my piss. 0.94

00:37:04.000 You just get him to drink it. 0.94

00:37:06.000 Oh, God.

00:37:07.000 You're like, I don't feel it yet.

00:37:08.000 Nothing but vitamins. 0.98

00:37:09.000 It's too much cum in this pill. 0.97

00:37:10.000 I don't feel it yet. 0.99

00:37:11.000 Here, let me piss some more. 0.99

00:37:12.000 Why, that tastes like total primate care.

00:37:15.000 Maybe some T-plus.

00:37:17.000 Did you pack it like a musket?

00:37:19.000 Did you pack the musket cock? 0.99

00:37:21.000 Why is Dr. Laser wearing lipstick?

00:37:25.000 We need to call Dr. Lazer and ask him how many of those books behind him he's read.

00:37:28.000 Because it's driving us crazy.

00:37:30.000 I picture Dr. Lazer, he's got those old school books that nobody really reads.

00:37:34.000 But he's old.

00:37:35.000 He's read them.

00:37:36.000 I don't know.

00:37:37.000 That's the best way to finish that saying, I don't know.

00:37:43.000 But he does have the brain surgery kit from Napoleon's field doctor. 0.99

00:37:49.000 Holy shit. 0.99

00:37:50.000 That's in his office, yeah. 1.00

00:37:51.000 They had a brain surgery kit back then?

00:37:53.000 Yeah, just like big saw.

00:37:55.000 It looks more like woodworking equipment, but like really finely crafted made woodworking equipment.

00:38:01.000 Jesus Christ.

00:38:01.000 Things that like crack things, things that saw things.

00:38:04.000 Oh my God.

00:38:05.000 It's pretty intense.

00:38:05.000 And he actually uses it.

00:38:06.000 Basically, he has his patients walk by it, and if they get queasy and they can't handle it, He's like, nah, you're not the person for me.

00:38:12.000 Because he's a tinkerer.

00:38:14.000 I mean, he's going to go in there and actually cut your head and do some work.

00:38:18.000 That's what his specialty is.

00:38:20.000 He's done like 3,000 open skull surgeries or something like that.

00:38:24.000 Oh my god.

00:38:26.000 Yeah, he's an OG. He's cool.

00:38:28.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:38:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:38:30.000 Can you imagine working on 3,000 brains?

00:38:33.000 What an incredible power that must be to those guys.

00:38:37.000 That they can fix someone's brain.

00:38:41.000 Mechanically. 1.00

00:38:42.000 Cut out your cancer and fix your brain. 0.82

00:38:45.000 And then send you back to live a healthy life. 1.00

00:38:48.000 Yep.

00:38:49.000 And he did it.

00:38:50.000 I met one of the guys that he did that for.

00:38:51.000 This guy is one of his patients, and it's pretty remarkable.

00:38:55.000 Went through there, did the brain surgery, and that's actually how I met Dr. Lazar.

00:39:00.000 He did the brain surgery, then he took a bunch of the ingredients we have in AlphaBrain, too, and he recovered way fast.

00:39:05.000 This is, of course, just one story, but he recovered super fast, and that turned Dr. Lazar on to the potential for these herbs to work in conjunction with what he was doing on the brain.

00:39:15.000 So that's how we kind of got Got hooked up.

00:39:17.000 That's interesting.

00:39:19.000 Did he ever talk to Romanowski?

00:39:23.000 No, he hasn't.

00:39:24.000 But we talked about that a little bit.

00:39:25.000 I think it's actually in the long interview that we have up there.

00:39:28.000 But, yeah, the brain damage issue is pretty serious.

00:39:32.000 I don't think he's ever been hooked up with Bill, though.

00:39:34.000 Yeah, well, Ramanowski, that's why he created that Neuro One.

00:39:37.000 That was the first nootropic that I'd heard of.

00:39:40.000 We were on No Name and Alice, or Alice and No Name.

00:39:45.000 Sarah and No Name?

00:39:46.000 Sarah and No Name, rather, on Alice Radio.

00:39:48.000 Yeah.

00:39:49.000 Anyway, and No Name, I forget his real name.

00:39:54.000 I always called him No Name.

00:39:56.000 How weird is that?

00:39:57.000 Cool guy. 0.98

00:39:58.000 Anyway, he was training with Bill Romanowski, and Bill Romanowski got him to start eating healthy and started giving him this Neuro One shit. 0.95

00:40:06.000 It's a nootropic, but it's also got a little bit of caffeine in it. 0.82

00:40:10.000 Pretty interesting stuff.

00:40:11.000 And he developed it because of concussions.

00:40:14.000 Makes sense.

00:40:14.000 You've got to feed back the brain when it's been deprived from getting swollen.

00:40:20.000 Swollen and pushed up against your skull.

00:40:23.000 Not a good program.

00:40:24.000 I was at a neurological research center today, and one of the things that these people were telling me while they were there, I was there for this silly TV show, but there's people that take their kids there.

00:40:35.000 Like if the kids are involved in football, and they have football injuries, and they're talking about it like these kids are like 15, 16 years old and just have these massive concussions.

00:40:45.000 And the father's just like, well, when can you get back in there?

00:40:48.000 And the mother's like, is he gonna be okay?

00:40:50.000 The mothers are concerned.

00:40:52.000 That their kid is getting really badly hurt, and the fathers, they want them to get back in there.

00:40:57.000 It's weird.

00:40:58.000 She was describing it to me, like, you know, these situations that she's dealing with with these fathers and these kids, and she's like, it's really creepy.

00:41:07.000 Because these kids don't know any better, and they're just running.

00:41:10.000 Their dads want them to get back in there.

00:41:13.000 They get concussed.

00:41:14.000 Do you understand what that is?

00:41:16.000 Do you understand what getting shut off is?

00:41:17.000 Running at each other?

00:41:19.000 Colliding heads?

00:41:20.000 Do you know?

00:41:21.000 Whoa.

00:41:22.000 Man, in the brain there's so much more we still have to learn about it.

00:41:25.000 Did you happen to see that thing on 60 Minutes where there are people who are now able to control prosthetic limbs with their thoughts alone?

00:41:33.000 Did you see that?

00:41:34.000 So basically, they hook up these arms.

00:41:37.000 Now, the first version, prototype, was they hook the arms up and they actually hardwire it somehow into the nerves, but it's still their thoughts that can allow them, like, they can shake hands with people just from, like, their brain telling this completely prosthetic arm to shake hands or,

00:41:53.000 like, grab a ball.

00:41:54.000 They can tell if a ball is hard or tell if a ball is soft just from feedback.

00:41:57.000 It's bilateral.

00:41:58.000 So it's not only their squeezing, but their fingers...

00:42:01.000 Can give signals to their brain and let them know if what they're squeezing is hard or soft.

00:42:06.000 So it goes both ways.

00:42:08.000 And then they figured out how to hook it up wirelessly so that they can actually control arms that are not even on them.

00:42:15.000 And they can make those arms move just with their thoughts.

00:42:19.000 This was on 60 Minutes like a week ago. 0.98

00:42:21.000 I was fucking blown away. 0.97

00:42:23.000 So like an avatar type of thing. 0.99

00:42:25.000 Totally.

00:42:25.000 Well, not that fast, but the first steps, like the big baby steps towards that.

00:42:31.000 Wi-Fi.

00:42:31.000 Doing it with Wi-Fi.

00:42:33.000 Yeah.

00:42:34.000 What is that?

00:42:35.000 Do you remember that? 0.99

00:42:36.000 That's the old experiments where they pretty much did shit like that. 0.99

00:42:38.000 Let me see. 0.99

00:42:38.000 Oh, those Russian... 0.99

00:42:39.000 Oh, don't show me this.

00:42:41.000 The dog head one. 1.00

00:42:42.000 That shit ain't cool. 1.00

00:42:44.000 I don't even know if that's real. 1.00

00:42:45.000 Is that real?

00:42:45.000 Yeah, it's real.

00:42:47.000 I don't want to believe that's real.

00:42:48.000 Yeah, it was a cool segment on 60 Minutes.

00:42:52.000 Literally, like, probably two weeks ago. 0.98

00:42:54.000 Wow, that's fucking freaky. 0.96

00:42:57.000 The crazy part to me was the fact that it was giving them signals back from their fingers to their brain. 0.99

00:43:03.000 That was what really blew my mind.

00:43:06.000 I mean, I guess the whole thing did.

00:43:07.000 Just the fact that you think of this brain and thoughts as this kind of nebulous thing, but it's actually...

00:43:13.000 It is a signal.

00:43:15.000 There is some kind of electrical signal that they can...

00:43:18.000 Get a machine, program a machine to receive and respond based upon a thought, a willful action to do something.

00:43:26.000 It can pick that up.

00:43:28.000 I don't know how the hell that happens.

00:43:31.000 And imagine, if they can do that now, imagine what a thousand years from now is going to be.

00:43:35.000 Yeah.

00:43:36.000 We probably will be able to just lie in bed and send our robot out to do everything we need to do.

00:43:42.000 Drive the car, you know, and we look through its eyes as it drives the car.

00:43:46.000 We look through its eyes as it goes to the supermarket, picks up groceries.

00:43:50.000 We're just sitting at home, beating off, beating off, pretending for this person. 0.98

00:43:54.000 And the robot wanders through the fucking town, does all your tasks, come back home, and you never leave the house. 0.99

00:43:59.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:44:00.000 But imagine, and then the application for sports, there's been a couple movies like that, but you could go full, let's say you created this kind of android creature that you could control with your mind, you could go full gladiator style with net and trident, sword, and just have the most brutal,

00:44:15.000 obviously it would be expensive because machines are expensive, whatever, but it'd be sweet.

00:44:19.000 It'd be crazy.

00:44:20.000 Playing bumper cars with a Ferrari.

00:44:21.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:44:22.000 That's true. 1.00

00:44:23.000 You wouldn't want to just take your fucking awesome robot body and Torture it. 1.00

00:44:28.000 Fight people with it. 0.99

00:44:29.000 Yeah, no, don't do that.

00:44:30.000 But I bet, you know what they would do?

00:44:32.000 You know how people play The Sims?

00:44:34.000 Yeah.

00:44:35.000 I bet they would play like a real live version of The Sims, just to let their human body go out there and interact with all these other robot bodies.

00:44:41.000 You know, they take their body, they lie down, and they look through the body, or look through the eyes of this thing, and then send it off, like it's a little game.

00:44:50.000 And you send your robot out, and your robot goes and fucks other robots, and parties, and your robot's an animal, and he drinks and drives, because he doesn't even live in the real world. 0.99

00:44:58.000 He lives in this fucking crazy robot world. 0.99

00:45:00.000 And then we realize that's what's already happening, and we're the robots. 1.00

00:45:03.000 The TV has turned us into robots. 0.98

00:45:07.000 I keep on thinking simulation theory shit, like your inner voice is actually you in the future, like talking to yourself. 0.99

00:45:14.000 Or something like that. 0.99

00:45:15.000 Could be, right? 1.00

00:45:16.000 I think everybody knows, especially when you're an impulsive fuck. 1.00

00:45:20.000 Like, I know you are. 1.00

00:45:21.000 And I am.

00:45:22.000 And you've been too, son.

00:45:24.000 We've all been a little impulsive. 0.99

00:45:25.000 And there's always, when you're about to do something, and there's that voice that goes, don't fucking do it, dude. 0.97

00:45:30.000 You gotta listen to that voice. 0.95

00:45:32.000 Always.

00:45:34.000 That voice is always right.

00:45:36.000 You know, there's like a weird rush on the other side, too, that tells you not to do it.

00:45:40.000 Like, it's gonna feel good.

00:45:41.000 You know, like, when you're about to, like, If you're about to yell at somebody and you know you shouldn't, there's pretty much no reason ever to yell at somebody. 0.98

00:45:49.000 But when you get this kind of energy that comes up and it feels like it's going to be good to release it, what the fuck is that? 0.96

00:45:58.000 That's you protecting yourself. 0.97

00:46:00.000 But why does it feel good, though? 0.98

00:46:02.000 It feels good because sometimes people need to be shown that they're cunts. 0.94

00:46:06.000 It's like an evolutionary response. 0.95

00:46:08.000 The only way people learn how to behave is by feedback.

00:46:13.000 The way they learn how to be harmonious with their fellow brothers and sisters of the world is by feedback. 0.97

00:46:19.000 And when you're not good at it and you get bad feedback all the time and you don't adjust, that's like a sign of mental illness or stupidity or a lack of education or lack of Someone explaining or your own personal critical thinking involving the way the world works.

00:46:36.000 But for most people, as you get older, you get way better at communicating because you've gone through this feedback loop several times and you sort of stabilize it and you know what people like and what they don't like and you know how to get things off on the right foot and how not to and it's like sort of easier to navigate.

00:46:53.000 But the key there is not to become completely enslaved by the feelings and thoughts and the kind of world around you so that you're constantly living to please what the Toltecs would call the dream,

00:47:09.000 the co-created world around you. 0.98

00:47:11.000 So yes, don't be a dick. 0.99

00:47:13.000 Learn not to hurt people. 0.97

00:47:15.000 But then at the same time, Don't judge yourself according to all of these opinions that are generally wrong anyways.

00:47:22.000 People don't necessarily always want you to be your best, you know, so you gotta find your inner path as well as adjust to Guiding principles.

00:47:32.000 That's a real problem for young people when they're dealing with haters, like the first haters in their life.

00:47:37.000 It could be someone who's at work with you or someone you go to school with or whatever.

00:47:41.000 But it might be like the first time in your life where someone actively hates on you. 1.00

00:47:45.000 And that shit can affect you. 0.99

00:47:47.000 And I always say that it's like snake venom and that, like, having a little bit of hater is, like, good because you know how to deal with it. 1.00

00:47:54.000 And then when you get a full blast of it, you're like, bitch, I'm immune to that stupid shit. 1.00

00:47:58.000 Right. 1.00

00:47:59.000 You know, like, you've been bitten a few times.

00:48:00.000 You understand it.

00:48:01.000 Because people who don't have never been hated on before, like, you see them get hated on, they're like, oh, my goodness.

00:48:07.000 Just that wave of negativity that can erupt.

00:48:09.000 At any time on the internet.

00:48:11.000 Absolutely.

00:48:12.000 I felt that the first time.

00:48:14.000 Obviously in sports or whatever, you get these mild detractors, but you can always kind of...

00:48:18.000 See them.

00:48:19.000 But then as soon as I stepped into the public eye, a lot of support, a lot of love, amazing people I've met.

00:48:24.000 And then a contingency of people who hate me just despise me.

00:48:29.000 And I was looking at them like, why?

00:48:31.000 Why do you hate me?

00:48:33.000 What is the reason?

00:48:35.000 Like, I couldn't properly deal with it, I think.

00:48:37.000 So I had to talk to as many people I could and just kind of sort it out.

00:48:41.000 So there's some people that are just going to be negative no matter what.

00:48:44.000 But there's also... 1.00

00:48:46.000 It's a fucked up thing, but there's a truth in that it's good to get your ass kicked. 1.00

00:48:52.000 And it's good to get your ass kicked by the internet, too. 1.00

00:48:57.000 It's good, you know? 0.99

00:48:59.000 It doesn't seem like it's good when it's happening.

00:49:01.000 And it might be completely off-base, but if it's right even a little bit, they're doing you a service.

00:49:08.000 Because they're pointing out holes in your game.

00:49:09.000 Tighten up your game.

00:49:10.000 Yeah, they're pointing out holes in your game.

00:49:12.000 And it might be...

00:49:14.000 It might be fair, but it might not be fair, too.

00:49:16.000 You've got to deal with that, too.

00:49:18.000 But that's part of the game.

00:49:20.000 That's part of you.

00:49:21.000 And eventually, hopefully, we all hope for some form of personal sovereignty, where no matter what anybody says about you or how anybody describes you, it's a better way of putting it.

00:49:33.000 You know who you are, and you're alright.

00:49:36.000 And all they're doing is exposing this need to detract from another person.

00:49:42.000 This need to diminish another person.

00:49:44.000 Which is a massive weakness.

00:49:46.000 It is.

00:49:47.000 That we've all been guilty of.

00:49:49.000 For sure.

00:49:49.000 And along with that, it's also learning to take the praise not too seriously.

00:49:54.000 Yes.

00:49:54.000 You can't get your tires too pumped up and really buy into that whole thing.

00:49:59.000 And that'll lead you down astray...

00:50:02.000 We're good to go.

00:50:08.000 We're good to go.

00:50:17.000 Did your best.

00:50:18.000 If you put out the maximum effort to try and achieve the result.

00:50:22.000 And only you should be able to judge yourself.

00:50:24.000 Yeah, well, if you're really objective, especially.

00:50:27.000 And that's what we should all strive for, right?

00:50:29.000 Like real objectivity.

00:50:31.000 If you could really just fucking really look at what you're doing right or wrong and what you're enjoying about your life and what you're not. 0.99

00:50:37.000 Kind of get that bitch back on track. 1.00

00:50:40.000 Sometimes it's harder to see yourself than it is to see other people, which is why a lot of the most fucked up people with the most fucked up lives always want to give you advice. 1.00

00:50:48.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:50:48.000 Like, who wants to give you more advice than someone whose life is a mess? 0.99

00:50:51.000 You know what you gotta do, man?

00:50:53.000 You gotta get together with your girl and you gotta work this out, okay?

00:50:55.000 I know you don't want to work this out, but you gotta work this out. 1.00

00:50:57.000 And you're like, are you really giving advice on relationships, you crazy fuckhead? 0.99

00:51:02.000 They say that most of the people who get degrees in psychology are the ones who are trying to work out their own problems the most... 0.99

00:51:09.000 I mean, I don't know.

00:51:10.000 That's just hearsay, but that's kind of the old maxim.

00:51:13.000 I wouldn't imagine that to be true. 0.99

00:51:13.000 Yeah, I would think psychologists would do the weirdest shit when they beat off. 0.99

00:51:17.000 I mean, think, what is a sexual, like one of those people that's like a sexual counselor, what do they beat off to? 0.99

00:51:25.000 They've got to be constantly analyzing.

00:51:27.000 It can't be that much fun.

00:51:28.000 Yeah, right?

00:51:29.000 Like, how do they really totally cut loose?

00:51:31.000 You're constantly thinking about whether or not what you did is good.

00:51:36.000 Objectivity is a real challenge and I think one of the tools that both me and you have found have been different ways to break through that kind of mental patterning that gets you in trouble.

00:51:46.000 So the tank is a great way to do it.

00:51:49.000 There's different meditation techniques that are great ways, but sometimes For us really thick skulled monkeys like myself and you and some other people when we just need something heavier to do it.

00:52:00.000 And I think that's when I've gone to Peru and done the ayahuasca or you can go hopefully somewhere safe and do a heavy psilocybin trip or find some way to actually get that part of your mind to really be objective, to kind of cut out all the bullshit and look at yourself with a true reflection.

00:52:18.000 Yeah, and I feel like there's certain doors that get open when you have those experiences.

00:52:24.000 And when those doors get open, it's like the whole world just takes a turn to the left.

00:52:29.000 It's just not the same world anymore.

00:52:31.000 It's just not.

00:52:32.000 And that's scary for a lot of people, man.

00:52:34.000 It makes sense.

00:52:35.000 But you've got to really look at it objectively.

00:52:38.000 And one of the things you've got to look at is...

00:52:42.000 Do you really like the world the way it is?

00:52:44.000 Are you really scared of taking a left turn into Crazyville?

00:52:47.000 Crazyville might not be that bad.

00:52:49.000 Trust me.

00:52:50.000 The regular world is crazy enough.

00:52:52.000 Take a little trip down the Leprechaun Lane and have a chat with the Pixies and the other dimensions. 0.80

00:52:57.000 It's not a bad idea. 1.00

00:52:59.000 You gotta know what the fuck is going on with your brain, though. 1.00

00:53:01.000 That's the problem. 1.00

00:53:02.000 I would never tell anybody to do mushrooms or acid, even though I have. 0.99

00:53:06.000 I would never tell anybody to do any, now, today, knowing what I know, would never tell anybody to do any psychedelic, because I don't know how the fuck their brain works. 0.99

00:53:14.000 That's true. 0.53

00:53:14.000 And then, so having, and something I always kind of reiterate, having a really good guide is important. 0.53

00:53:19.000 Someone who can not only ask you questions, but kind of look you in the eye, analyze what you should or should not do.

00:53:26.000 I mean, even the shaman's down In Peru, part of the ceremony is before you get the ayahuasca, they kind of get a sense of you.

00:53:33.000 Even if you can't speak the language, but they get a sense of you.

00:53:36.000 And you can sense crazy.

00:53:38.000 Especially, they're highly tuned to do that.

00:53:41.000 And they look at you.

00:53:42.000 As am I. As am I. Some people get a really little, tiny third of a cup.

00:53:49.000 And then they go on their way.

00:53:50.000 Because that's all that the shamans know.

00:53:52.000 That's all they can handle.

00:53:53.000 That's all they're in for.

00:53:54.000 And then other people... 0.99

00:53:56.000 You know, they'll fill that bitch to the brim and be like, come back for more if you want it. 1.00

00:54:00.000 And you drink that thick, thick brown, bittery, fiery ayahuasca into your stomach. 1.00

00:54:08.000 You know what I've never understood about the ayahuasca thing?

00:54:10.000 I'm going to have to do ayahuasca to learn this.

00:54:13.000 The tobacco thing.

00:54:14.000 Like, what is it about blowing tobacco smoke that activates some of the hallucinogens?

00:54:21.000 I think it has to do with your actually, your nicotinic receptors in your brain.

00:54:25.000 So there's something, you know, the DMT, the tryptamine...

00:54:28.000 Like a stack?

00:54:29.000 Like you're stacking these grains together?

00:54:30.000 I don't know, but you know, that's, these receptors, and this is swimming a little deeper than I probably can go, but I think it has something, you know, nicotine acts on certain mental receptors.

00:54:40.000 I think it's your nicotinic receptors, and then tryptamine acts on certain receptors.

00:54:45.000 And somehow there is a synergy there.

00:54:48.000 I haven't necessarily experienced that, but what I did experience, which is really weird, I have no very good explanation for this, but at the end of one particular ceremony, he smoked the tobacco, the shaman smoked the tobacco rustica, which is different than the tobacco that we smoke.

00:55:06.000 It's a different species of plant entirely.

00:55:09.000 So tobacco rustica, they smoked a big hand-rolled cigarette from that.

00:55:13.000 And he blew the smoke all over my body.

00:55:16.000 I didn't feel anything at the moment.

00:55:18.000 I was like, okay, well, I'm going to smell like this burnt plant.

00:55:20.000 Cool.

00:55:21.000 That's good.

00:55:21.000 But he really took care and put it on certain points.

00:55:24.000 And there's always some kind of purgative element to the ayahuasca.

00:55:29.000 But that night, I was like shitting and vomiting like there was some evil in my body that was trying to escape.

00:55:39.000 Like the most violent purge I've ever had in my life. 0.67

00:55:44.000 And it went on for hours.

00:55:46.000 I don't know where stuff was coming out of my body.

00:55:48.000 And I've done ayahuasca many times, so I know...

00:55:52.000 Do they have outhouses?

00:55:55.000 No, you have a little toilet in your place. 1.00

00:55:59.000 You have a running water toilet?

00:56:02.000 Depends.

00:56:03.000 Sometimes no.

00:56:04.000 Sometimes that's just a hole.

00:56:05.000 And sometimes you do have running water depending on where you go.

00:56:07.000 But a lot of times they don't have toilet lids because you're not supposed to sit there and really enjoy it.

00:56:12.000 You're supposed to just hover.

00:56:13.000 Blow it out and then wipe and put it in a basket.

00:56:17.000 That's kind of the general program.

00:56:19.000 You put it in a basket?

00:56:20.000 Yeah, because they can't flush toilet paper down the system. 1.00

00:56:25.000 But anyway, so there's some kind of cleansing aspect to it.

00:56:29.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:56:30.000 The science, I don't know.

00:56:31.000 I don't understand.

00:56:32.000 But I know that they believe it's a cleansing aspect.

00:56:36.000 You know, ritual.

00:56:37.000 And it certainly had that effect on me.

00:56:39.000 Wow.

00:56:40.000 Just blows it out.

00:56:41.000 And that tobacco, it kicked it in.

00:56:44.000 It kicked it in.

00:56:44.000 Something, something.

00:56:45.000 And he blew a lot of smoke all over me.

00:56:47.000 And then the next day he sees me and he starts laughing as I'm walking, like walking by him.

00:56:52.000 He just starts laughing and he asked me, you know, how was last night?

00:56:56.000 And I had someone with me who could help me translate.

00:56:58.000 And I was like, what the hell did you do to me?

00:57:00.000 And he's just laughing and laughing and just pats me on the back and just keeps on walking.

00:57:05.000 Like, he knew that's exactly what he was going to do.

00:57:07.000 Wow. 1.00

00:57:08.000 So he was doing that just to get you to get rid of all the shit inside of you and throw up and clean it all out and then dose up. 1.00

00:57:16.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:57:16.000 Dose up with the wild dragon juice. 1.00

00:57:18.000 Exactly.

00:57:19.000 And the next night was the night that I went out and did the ride on that smoke track.

00:57:22.000 That makes sense.

00:57:23.000 Wow, he cleaned your system out with some smoke.

00:57:27.000 Did you hear that they found DMT in the pineal gland of live rats?

00:57:33.000 Huge.

00:57:33.000 Yeah, huge.

00:57:34.000 This is Rick Strassman's Cottonwood Research Foundation.

00:57:42.000 This is something that they had speculated for the longest time, and I thought it was a fact.

00:57:47.000 I thought that they had known it was a fact.

00:57:50.000 Until Voodoo Chicken on my message board was, I think, the first guy to clue me into the fact that there's only anecdotal evidence.

00:57:57.000 And he was challenging Strassman on the message board.

00:58:00.000 Because we know that the human body produces it.

00:58:03.000 I guess they knew it was produced in the liver and the lungs.

00:58:07.000 But this is the first time they can prove...

00:58:10.000 That at least in rodents, it's in the pineal gland of a live rat.

00:58:17.000 Let's suppose it was the spirit molecule.

00:58:19.000 Let's suppose that hypothesis is true and it is some part of conducting the spirit from source into life and then back out.

00:58:27.000 Let's say that there is some activation for that.

00:58:30.000 It makes sense that they wouldn't find the active concentrations in The dead pineal glands because presumably its purpose was done there.

00:58:39.000 But to see it there in live while it's living I think is pretty cool.

00:58:47.000 It at least opens up that theory as possible.

00:58:50.000 One of the interesting things about taking the DMT was the shortness of the trip.

00:58:54.000 And that's the thing that people always comment on that one of the signs That this isn't a deadly drug, is how easy your body can get rid of it.

00:59:05.000 Your body can get rid of it and bring you back to baseline in 15 minutes.

00:59:09.000 Like, you're on this voyage to another dimension, and then 15 minutes later your body's like, okay, nothing to see here, we're just going to clean this up, folks.

00:59:16.000 Yeah, what'd you cook, spaghetti?

00:59:17.000 Come in there with a broom and sweep up all the memories of what you just did. 1.00

00:59:22.000 It seems like your body knows what to do with this shit. 1.00

00:59:25.000 It obviously makes it. 1.00

00:59:26.000 We know it makes it.

00:59:27.000 We know that.

00:59:28.000 But now we know that literally the third eye makes it. 0.99

00:59:31.000 And that's fucking crazy. 0.89

00:59:33.000 Because that's literally... 0.99

00:59:35.000 I hate when I say literally because I shouldn't have said it that many times.

00:59:38.000 That was my version of uh.

00:59:41.000 It's literally uh.

00:59:42.000 I should have said uh.

00:59:44.000 Anyway.

00:59:45.000 They've proven that, at least in rodents, this sacred of all sacred glands, this gland that the Egyptians thought was the seat of the soul, this gland that Eastern mysticism had forever connected with an eye of enlightenment,

01:00:04.000 that that gland produces the most potent psychedelic drug known to man. 0.99

01:00:08.000 That's fucking bananas. 1.00

01:00:11.000 It's pretty wild. 1.00

01:00:12.000 It's nuts.

01:00:31.000 We're good to go.

01:00:48.000 My most intense experiences come with a really intense buzzing energy that feels like not only that part of my head, but starting there, the energy feels like it peels off my whole scalp, starting in my third eye, middle of my forehead region,

01:01:03.000 all the way to the back of my head, what they would call the crown chakra.

01:01:06.000 And I don't...

01:01:07.000 I know too much about chakras, but I know that that's what I felt. 0.69

01:01:10.000 From right here to the back of my head, it was like somebody peeled it off and it had an electric field, an electric current over it. 0.99

01:01:17.000 And when you get that feeling, you know you're in for some fucking cool shit. 0.99

01:01:21.000 That's when the cool shit happens. 0.99

01:01:23.000 That is the precursor to the craziest experiences of your spiritual life. 0.98

01:01:32.000 Yeah, it's a language that you can only speak with people who've had some form of experience, something, because there's a lot of people out there, and there's nothing wrong with that.

01:01:44.000 I don't think there's anything wrong with going through your whole life.

01:01:46.000 As long as you're enjoying it, why have a psychedelic experience?

01:01:50.000 If you don't want to, if you don't feel compelled.

01:01:51.000 I feel like if you feel compelled, give it a shot.

01:01:54.000 But...

01:01:55.000 When you're having these conversations and you're talking about your chakra blowing open and porting yourself to dimensions and flotillas of serpents flying above your head, I hear you. 0.99

01:02:07.000 And I'm like, yeah, wow, okay, wow, fucking A. Like, I know that really happened. 0.98

01:02:13.000 Because I've seen some crazy shit myself. 0.99

01:02:15.000 Not that it really happened, not that it's really a snake, but my point about that, where people always go, you know, if it's not real, okay, then you're doing something really infantile, okay? 0.99

01:02:26.000 You're taking something that's allowing you to go into fantasy land for a little while.

01:02:31.000 Maybe.

01:02:32.000 Or, listen, what if I could prove...

01:02:36.000 That it takes you to another dimension.

01:02:39.000 And in that other dimension, you will see things that you could not possibly have imagined.

01:02:46.000 And you will experience novelty and honesty and wisdom and love in the purest forms possible.

01:02:56.000 Like there are waves hitting you while you're standing on the beach.

01:03:02.000 If I could tell you that it was definitely taking you to another dimension, would you go then?

01:03:10.000 I don't know.

01:03:11.000 Maybe not.

01:03:12.000 But here's what I know.

01:03:13.000 Here's what I know for sure.

01:03:16.000 If it took you to another dimension and you had that experience, or if you just had that experience in your head, you still had that experience.

01:03:24.000 And it might as well have taken you to another dimension.

01:03:28.000 It might as well.

01:03:29.000 Because the same thing happened. 1.00

01:03:31.000 You saw the same shit. 1.00

01:03:33.000 You felt the same things. 1.00

01:03:34.000 You experienced the same things.

01:03:36.000 You saw it all.

01:03:38.000 It might not have been real, but it might have been real too.

01:03:40.000 It doesn't matter.

01:03:41.000 You still experienced it exactly the same way.

01:03:44.000 As if it did take you to another planet.

01:03:46.000 And you did ride around the rings of Saturn in your underwear.

01:03:49.000 I mean, it really does take you to that place.

01:03:54.000 So it might be real, it might take you to that place, or it might be all happening in your mind, but either way, you experience the exact same thing.

01:04:01.000 And it lasts, and the results there, you know, that you get from it are actually, and that was one of the cool things about going to the MAPS Conference, which is the Multidisciplinary Association of Psychedelic Studies.

01:04:11.000 They put on a conference in Oakland, and they had all of the top scientists from all these different fields of research come and present their findings.

01:04:19.000 So there's been over 80 patients clinically dosed with psilocybin, most of them in palliative care, easing the anxiety of death towards the end of life.

01:04:28.000 Amazing, dramatic stories.

01:04:29.000 You have psychiatrists in there who've been working in this field for 40 years, seeing people, and they're the ones running these Well, first of all, the funny part is it's a double-blind trial, right?

01:04:43.000 So on one case, someone is getting placebo, which is doing nothing.

01:04:47.000 And in another case, they're getting a heroic dose of psilocybin.

01:04:50.000 And the research is like, one of the problems with the study design is we pretty much know, because they're not supposed to know it's double-blind, we pretty much know when someone's taken a bunch of psilocybin.

01:05:00.000 It's not hard to tell when that's actually happened.

01:05:03.000 But they're saying that what they're accomplishing in three hours, It would have taken them three years to do back in the old paradigm.

01:05:10.000 And they're reporting these findings, and it's really encouraging.

01:05:13.000 Obviously, the Johns Hopkins study was a great study.

01:05:16.000 94% of people who took the psilocybin said it was one of the top five most meaningful experiences of their life.

01:05:22.000 I mean, really cool findings that are leading to a potential legalization of psilocybin for clinical use.

01:05:32.000 It shouldn't be just for clinical use. 0.97

01:05:33.000 This is what's really fucked up. 0.95

01:05:35.000 All these people that are having all these... 0.97

01:05:39.000 Yeah.

01:05:53.000 You should also do mushrooms as well, sir.

01:05:55.000 It should be a prerequisite for political office, for sure. 0.96

01:05:59.000 It's such a silly little thing. 1.00

01:06:02.000 It grows in cow shit. 1.00

01:06:03.000 It looks ridiculous. 1.00

01:06:04.000 It sounds ridiculous. 1.00

01:06:05.000 It appears in fucking Mario Brothers Donkey Kong and shit. 1.00

01:06:10.000 But... 1.00

01:06:11.000 It might be the thing that humanity really could count on right now.

01:06:16.000 It might be the thing...

01:06:17.000 If you could, like, ensure across-the-board experiences, ensure them worldwide over a week's period of time, you'd change the world forever.

01:06:26.000 And that's real.

01:06:27.000 You really would.

01:06:29.000 One gigantic world trip where, like, 30% of the population on the planet does mushrooms one day.

01:06:36.000 You want to talk about a strange world you would wake up to Monday morning? 1.00

01:06:40.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:06:41.000 I mean... 1.00

01:06:41.000 People would be hugging people in the streets and shit. 1.00

01:06:44.000 This is a thought I've had recently. 0.99

01:06:45.000 What if all of the churches, instead of just bickering about their own dogmas and all this stuff...

01:06:50.000 I mean, they're all trying to get at the same spirit.

01:06:52.000 What if they were all churches of experience?

01:06:54.000 And across the world, there was, you know, one basic church that you go to.

01:06:59.000 And that church was a little bit of everything.

01:07:01.000 In that church, there was...

01:07:03.000 Zen meditation in one area.

01:07:04.000 There was float tanks in another area.

01:07:06.000 There was lectures from people like Graham Hancock coming through there.

01:07:10.000 There was yoga in one spot.

01:07:12.000 And then there was different ceremonial areas where you could smoke peyote and do a dance out in a...

01:07:20.000 Or you could take mushrooms in a really relaxed, encouraging setting.

01:07:27.000 Or you could do an ayahuasca ceremony with the local ayahuasca maestro.

01:07:32.000 And all of that was available to you.

01:07:33.000 So maybe you didn't go every week or every Sunday, but when you needed to check in, there was your local church.

01:07:39.000 And you could just kind of talk to some people, either listen, maybe do some light yoga, or let's say you really needed to move yourself.

01:07:46.000 And then go in and pop into an ayahuasca ceremony.

01:07:49.000 Or let's say you were feeling, you know, you got addicted to something accidentally.

01:07:53.000 Oh, well, you could pop into the aboga treatment ceremony that lasted from Sunday through Tuesday. 0.98

01:07:59.000 If there were real clinics like that that were run by people who really knew what they were doing, they could change the whole world.

01:08:04.000 The whole thing.

01:08:05.000 The whole paradigm shifts at that point, I think.

01:08:07.000 And it's there.

01:08:07.000 It's like a real thing.

01:08:08.000 That's what's crazy.

01:08:09.000 It's not like something from a Dr. Seuss book, you know, that rhymes with, you know, morph.

01:08:15.000 You know what I mean?

01:08:16.000 They took the morph on top of the orb and traveled to a fallen land.

01:08:21.000 But I am really encouraged by what Maps is doing.

01:08:26.000 Because...

01:08:27.000 They're playing by the rules.

01:08:29.000 And you think that you get nowhere playing by the rules, but in some encouraging results, both for MDMA, for PTSD, and these psilocybin studies, they're getting allowed to do the research to complete these phase one trials and actually test them on human subjects for the first time in a long time.

01:08:47.000 And that's going to lead to You know, bigger trials than the Phase 2 trials than the Phase 3. And eventually, there's going to get drug approvals for these.

01:08:55.000 Now, why that is significant is at that point, you have a massive amount of data.

01:08:59.000 You have side effects studied.

01:09:01.000 You have clinical use studied.

01:09:02.000 And if you can prove that there is an actual benefit to something, you know, it really weakens the argument for criminalization.

01:09:09.000 And then, of course, there's going to be a lot of off-label uses, doctors who are like, look, this is really helpful.

01:09:15.000 You know, just kind of like what's happened with medical marijuana at A little bit.

01:09:19.000 It's been medically legal, but pretty much that is a gateway to legalization.

01:09:24.000 But they're following the steps along the path that could potentially allow this to be legal.

01:09:31.000 There's that path, and then there's the religious freedom path.

01:09:34.000 And I think those are really the only two paths that are going to lead to fruitful and effective policy change.

01:09:40.000 Religious freedom is a funny thing. 0.99

01:09:42.000 It's just, I always feel like Whenever someone gets together in a big giant group and there's a few people running it, shit goes bad. 0.97

01:09:51.000 It seems very rare that anybody can keep it together. 0.97

01:09:58.000 I've been listening to Dan Carlin's Hardcore History about Martin Luther and the rise of the Anabaptists in Münster, Germany.

01:10:07.000 Whenever some new dude comes along and tries to change things and we're going to do it the right way, this is how God wanted it, it always goes bad.

01:10:14.000 It always goes bad.

01:10:14.000 Somebody gets in trouble and then they start just...

01:10:16.000 Because they realize they can fuck all the teenage girls in their congregation. 1.00

01:10:21.000 And suddenly God tells them that that's what they need to do. 1.00

01:10:23.000 And this guy died.

01:10:24.000 He had 16 wives.

01:10:25.000 Exactly.

01:10:27.000 It's amazing.

01:10:27.000 It's always the same thing.

01:10:29.000 And they just chopped him apart with swords and shit. 0.99

01:10:31.000 Eventually got a hold of him. 0.99

01:10:32.000 You know what?

01:10:33.000 The other thing I've been kind of thinking about is, too, is, you know, you assume that, like some of these ayahuasca shamans, aboga shamans, different people, you would assume that by doing those psychedelic drugs, they would have straightened themselves out.

01:10:45.000 They would have straightened their morality out, and they'd be all good people.

01:10:48.000 But that's certainly not the case.

01:10:50.000 You know, there are a lot of examples of these people who are doing the medicine itself and are still completely morally corrupt.

01:10:59.000 That's so weird.

01:11:09.000 The potential of the medicine itself.

01:11:11.000 So if you decide to override it and just use the feeling, it's almost like taking mushrooms recreationally to watch a cartoon.

01:11:19.000 You can kind of override the potential spiritual value of it and just focus on laughter and seeing colors explode on a screen in the same way that you can do it with morality, where you can take a bunch of ayahuasca and then override it still with your mind and just use it to...

01:11:41.000 We're good to go.

01:12:00.000 And they probably find out about ayahuasca as a way to make money because there's an ayahuasca tourist trade. 0.96

01:12:06.000 Maybe when you just reach a certain amount of fucked up, there's no pulling you back to civilization. 0.94

01:12:13.000 Maybe the way the human body is programmed to survive in horrible, destitute situations. 0.99

01:12:19.000 Really disgusting, violent situations.

01:12:22.000 The human body is sort of designed to be able to function in those environments.

01:12:27.000 It knows how to change and get wacky and crazy.

01:12:29.000 You know, knows how to deal with war.

01:12:31.000 It adapts.

01:12:32.000 It adapts and that becomes the new reality.

01:12:34.000 That becomes every day-to-day living now. 0.98

01:12:36.000 And it just seems like when you go just a certain distance down the cunt hole, you know, it's like there's no pulling you back. 0.98

01:12:45.000 That's true. 0.99

01:12:45.000 Or perhaps in other cases, I think it's happened, you know, a lot of these traditions are taught grandfather to grandson. 0.99

01:12:51.000 And I think the grandchildren start off I bet a lot of

01:13:21.000 their downfall is Chicks from America with yoga pants come down there and I'm just trying to get spiritually clean. 1.00

01:13:30.000 I'm just trying to open up my chakras and she's big juicy ass in yoga pants. 1.00

01:13:34.000 And she's in love with this dude because he makes the magic brew and he knows how to call the dragon. 1.00

01:13:39.000 And she's in fucking see-through yoga pants. 0.99

01:13:44.000 Do you know they just fix those see-through yoga pants? 0.99

01:13:48.000 What took so long to fix them?

01:13:49.000 They should give them all out.

01:13:51.000 That's the only fair thing to do. 0.99

01:13:52.000 They should have shut the fuck up, is what they should have done. 1.00

01:13:55.000 You knew what you were doing, you dirty freaks. 1.00

01:13:57.000 What girl doesn't put those on and get in front of a mirror? 1.00

01:13:59.000 Oh my god, you can see everything!

01:14:02.000 I can't wear these!

01:14:05.000 Oh my god, you can see everything!

01:14:07.000 Should I wear these? 0.99

01:14:10.000 Would you think I was a whore if I wore these? 0.99

01:14:12.000 Oh my god, you can see it. 0.99

01:14:14.000 Can you see everything?

01:14:15.000 Am I being picky?

01:14:16.000 They talk themselves out of it.

01:14:18.000 They know that their box is just hanging out there. 0.98

01:14:20.000 And a lot of these dirty freaks would go to yoga class with nothing on. 0.99

01:14:24.000 Just these yoga tights. 0.99

01:14:26.000 And literally you could read their lips.

01:14:29.000 Literally.

01:14:31.000 I said literally five times after I said I hate that I said it.

01:14:34.000 Literally you did. 1.00

01:14:35.000 Fuck, cunt. 1.00

01:14:37.000 Cunt, fuck. 1.00

01:14:39.000 Yeah, the only thing that this company should do is just hand them out for free. 1.00

01:14:42.000 They should just shut the fuck up. 0.99

01:14:43.000 They should just go radio silent and keep selling them. 1.00

01:14:46.000 Keep selling them and go radio silent.

01:14:49.000 And they go, are these yoga pants still see-through?

01:14:52.000 Just go, huh?

01:14:54.000 Huh?

01:14:56.000 It looks great in you.

01:14:58.000 Those look good for you.

01:14:59.000 Go to the dressing rooms over there if you want to get changed.

01:15:01.000 Or if they get sweaty, you can see through them.

01:15:03.000 Just have a nice bright dressing room so none of those freaks can try foul. 0.86

01:15:06.000 Just let them look at your box in the mirror.

01:15:09.000 What's wrong with that?

01:15:10.000 What's a little showing off a little box?

01:15:12.000 How's that going to hurt anybody?

01:15:13.000 It'd be good for everybody.

01:15:15.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:15:16.000 Except shamans.

01:15:17.000 They ain't used to those American yoga freaks. 1.00

01:15:20.000 They're used to a bunch of barefoot fisherman women. 1.00

01:15:23.000 Yeah, it's true.

01:15:23.000 You know what I mean?

01:15:24.000 Too much to bear.

01:15:25.000 Yeah, those milky white skin and a big juicy booty and stretching out in the jungle floor. 1.00

01:15:31.000 You should get yoga pants on it. 0.96

01:15:33.000 Maybe we can buy all the ones from Lululemon.

01:15:36.000 Or maybe invest in hypercolor.

01:15:38.000 I mean, I bet that's pretty cheap nowadays.

01:15:40.000 Put out alpha tights. 0.97

01:15:43.000 For guys to show their cocks. 0.97

01:15:45.000 This would be the new alpha thing. 0.98

01:15:47.000 Alpha tights.

01:15:48.000 Everybody was like, why do I have to wear underwear?

01:15:51.000 I'm just going to wear tights.

01:15:51.000 And dudes would just wear tights everywhere.

01:15:53.000 But they're see-through tights where you could just really show your cock. 0.99

01:15:56.000 And that becomes a new thing. 0.99

01:15:58.000 Look, it... 0.98

01:15:59.000 I would believe that that would be the new thing before I would ever believe that there'd be dudes willing to pull their pants down to their balls and then belt them in place there and have your underwear hang out. 1.00

01:16:09.000 And this would be like a super common practice. 1.00

01:16:11.000 And then I'd be walking on the street and I'd see 5, 10, 20 young men with their fucking pants pulled down below the crack of their ass. 1.00

01:16:18.000 And I'm like, what are you doing? 1.00

01:16:21.000 Do you know how stupid this is? 1.00

01:16:24.000 So I wouldn't believe that that would be possible, and it is. 1.00

01:16:27.000 So I believe that the cock tights would be the shit. 1.00

01:16:31.000 Was it from you that we were talking about that that was part of prison culture? 1.00

01:16:34.000 It is, yeah.

01:16:35.000 They don't have belts.

01:16:36.000 You can't have belts because you can choke someone and death with it.

01:16:38.000 You could kill yourself.

01:16:39.000 And so they would sag their pants for easy access for their daddies to just bend them over and fork them. 1.00

01:16:45.000 Well, the Booty Master, what was that guy's name?

01:16:49.000 The one guy, the Booty Bandit, who was in that Locked Up show.

01:16:53.000 Have you ever seen that show?

01:16:53.000 No.

01:16:54.000 You've never seen that.

01:16:55.000 Brian, please pull that up since we have this amazing internet connection now.

01:16:58.000 The Booty Bandit from Locked Up, or they also call him the most terrifying man on earth or something like that.

01:17:05.000 But he was all talking about dudes that are sagging.

01:17:09.000 And he goes, to me, that's sexy.

01:17:11.000 Yeah.

01:17:12.000 He's like, that's sexy.

01:17:13.000 Like, you sag in front of me.

01:17:14.000 Yeah.

01:17:16.000 You find that?

01:17:18.000 This is, uh... 0.99

01:17:19.000 This guy's fucking terrifying. 0.99

01:17:21.000 But when Locke visited Kentucky State Penitentiary, we met Felice Johnson. 1.00

01:17:24.000 The booty warrior.

01:17:25.000 A long-time inmate.

01:17:26.000 The booty warrior.

01:17:27.000 That's what he calls himself. 0.97

01:17:28.000 A very different kind of homosexuality. 0.79

01:17:30.000 Right. 0.69

01:17:31.000 Yeah, he does.

01:17:32.000 But we have sexual desires, right?

01:17:34.000 So you got a bunch of men locked up in one place. 1.00

01:17:39.000 All of them get whore. 0.99

01:17:41.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:17:41.000 All of them's haunted. 1.00

01:17:43.000 All of them got sexual desire.

01:17:44.000 So what are they going to do? 0.97

01:17:46.000 We won't let them have a woman. 1.00

01:17:57.000 Look, that guy looks like the type of guy that he would lock in his cell and just fuck to death. 1.00

01:18:04.000 Why don't they just send, like, returns, like, Fleshlight's returns, you know, refurbished ones, just send them to prison. 0.99

01:18:09.000 I think Fleshlight did talk to the penal system.

01:18:12.000 Booty. 0.99

01:18:13.000 They weren't down with it.

01:18:15.000 More important than food.

01:18:16.000 Booty was more important than food. 1.00

01:18:18.000 A man's butt. 1.00

01:18:19.000 No, no. 1.00

01:18:20.000 He had the first half correct and the second half terribly wrong.

01:18:31.000 Wow.

01:18:37.000 I like booty.

01:18:38.000 Oh my goodness.

01:18:39.000 That's enough.

01:18:40.000 I've heard enough.

01:18:41.000 The booty warrior. 0.97

01:18:43.000 I was listening to my buddy Donald Schultz who was out actually and they were chasing down rhino poachers, which was a pretty crazy experience because they're going after these rhino poachers that are killing these rhinos, just cutting off the horns, selling them to China to make Chinese people's dicks bigger supposedly, 0.98

01:19:00.000 which is crazy. 0.93

01:19:00.000 Is that really all it is? 0.93

01:19:01.000 That's what they use it for? 0.98

01:19:03.000 Yeah, that's the main thing they use it for is they grind it up and put it in dick pills in China. 0.99

01:19:07.000 And it's really the same thing that's in your fingernails. 0.96

01:19:09.000 It's collagen?

01:19:11.000 Yeah, it has no actual properties that are doing anything. 0.99

01:19:14.000 But there's all big horn, big dick. 0.99

01:19:16.000 I apologize about my bad accent. 1.00

01:19:18.000 Whoa, how dare you?

01:19:19.000 If you didn't apologize, you would have been fine.

01:19:22.000 The problem is you didn't own it.

01:19:25.000 But that paradigm there is one of the reasons for these rhinos getting killed.

01:19:31.000 So he goes out there.

01:19:31.000 That's crazy.

01:19:32.000 They end up shooting this footage, and then as they're coming up on these poachers, they get shot at.

01:19:38.000 Wap, wap, wap.

01:19:39.000 This is all on video.

01:19:39.000 If you look up Donald Schultz, rhino, I don't know where you can find it.

01:19:43.000 They get shot at by these poachers. 0.99

01:19:44.000 And then you see them duck down like, oh shit, and they're filming this. 1.00

01:19:47.000 And then his people pop up. 0.99

01:19:50.000 He's from South Africa.

01:19:51.000 His people pop up with AKs and just lay waste to where the poachers are. 0.97

01:19:56.000 And the poachers have high-powered rifles.

01:19:58.000 These guys have assault rifles.

01:20:00.000 But they shot first at them. 0.98

01:20:02.000 And it's a shoot-to-kill policy, apparently. 0.95

01:20:04.000 But then they roll up on the poachers. 0.98

01:20:05.000 One of them's dead.

01:20:07.000 One of them's wounded.

01:20:08.000 It's this crazy kind of scenario, right?

01:20:10.000 But the poachers are in leagues with the actual police in there.

01:20:13.000 It's all...

01:20:14.000 They're paying them off.

01:20:15.000 It's all part of the money system.

01:20:16.000 So as they were leaving, they get stopped by the police, and they're looking for footage of, you know, kind of what went down.

01:20:23.000 And they hid the footage in, I think, some parachute bags or something like that.

01:20:27.000 And police are giving them hell, and they just go, you know, we're going to throw you in jail, and you're going to come out different.

01:20:33.000 And what they meant by that was that there's something called slow puncture, where they put you in a cell with another dude with HIV, and then he rapes you. 0.83

01:20:42.000 And then they let you go after he rapes you enough times. 1.00

01:20:45.000 And then you go home and you die of AIDS at home. 0.93

01:20:48.000 And they call it slow puncture for people that they can't actually press charges on.

01:20:53.000 Whoa. 1.00

01:20:54.000 But they want to fuck you for life. 1.00

01:20:55.000 And so they were threatening them with that. 1.00

01:20:57.000 But they held the bluff firm, got the tapes out, and have been trying to raise awareness to... 0.99

01:21:03.000 To save the rhinos, but it's a fucking crazy scenario. 0.98

01:21:06.000 That's scary. 0.99

01:21:08.000 Scary.

01:21:08.000 Slow puncture.

01:21:09.000 Get caught in an African prison, son. 1.00

01:21:12.000 Don't do it. 0.99

01:21:12.000 Oh! 0.99

01:21:14.000 Don't do it. 0.98

01:21:15.000 How fucking terrifying is that being? 1.00

01:21:16.000 And if you do, if you're about to get raped, just fight for your goddamn life. 1.00

01:21:19.000 That's it. 1.00

01:21:20.000 Yeah.

01:21:20.000 Jesus.

01:21:20.000 I mean, there's no point where you tap.

01:21:23.000 You're going to war. 0.52

01:21:23.000 Yeah. 0.52

01:21:24.000 You're going to war to the death the first day.

01:21:26.000 That's it. 0.99

01:21:26.000 And you're probably going to die. 0.99

01:21:27.000 You may die. 0.98

01:21:28.000 Most likely. 0.97

01:21:29.000 Most likely.

01:21:30.000 But go out on your shield, son.

01:21:32.000 Go out on your shield, son!

01:21:35.000 Or don't go to Africa.

01:21:37.000 That's another one.

01:21:38.000 Imagine if Africa was the only place left. 1.00

01:21:40.000 Imagine if there was some crazy fucking catastrophe. 0.99

01:21:43.000 Most of the world got wiped out except the continent of Africa. 0.99

01:21:46.000 And we all hopped over there in boats from all over the world and battled it out for a chunk of the Congo.

01:21:53.000 Carve your stake in Africa. 0.98

01:21:55.000 The rest of the world is just a waste. 0.98

01:21:56.000 Just a giant wasteland.

01:21:58.000 A small...

01:21:59.000 Well, Africa's beautiful. 1.00

01:22:01.000 It's just, you know, all the people and influences and all the bullshit, all the corruption that's fucked it up. 0.99

01:22:06.000 There's a lot that's fucked it up. 1.00

01:22:07.000 And it's so fucked up in so many ways. 0.99

01:22:10.000 It's like, how do you bring Somalia back, you know? 1.00

01:22:12.000 Very true.

01:22:13.000 How do you bring Liberia back? 1.00

01:22:15.000 How do you snap those back to the standards of, you know, European cities like London?

01:22:22.000 I don't know.

01:22:23.000 I mean, the corruption is so deep-seated.

01:22:24.000 There's that problem, and then there's the, you know, kind of Middle East fundamentalist problem.

01:22:29.000 Sure.

01:22:29.000 It's also, like, nobody has any desire to go and use resources to help these poor people out.

01:22:35.000 These people who live in Liberia or live in Somalia or live in any of the really poor sections of Africa, like, they got a really shit-roll of the dice, location-wise. 1.00

01:22:44.000 They were born in an incredibly impoverished place. 0.83

01:22:48.000 And it's like there's got to be something that the rest of the world, like, got to, like, be honest about where these people are.

01:22:56.000 The rest of the world is like, well, you know, they can pull themselves up by their bootstraps just like we did over here in Munich.

01:23:02.000 But no, like, the infrastructure of some spots is, like, so much better to get born in those spots.

01:23:09.000 I mean, I saw when I was there in the slums, you know, you would see these shanties, these little shacks of basically... 1.00

01:23:15.000 Sheet metal, and that's it.

01:23:17.000 Sheet metal, and they kind of put it towards the ground just to keep a little sun off their head and a little bit of shade in the day.

01:23:22.000 But they'd be on hills, right?

01:23:24.000 And there's no septic system, so they'd be on hills.

01:23:26.000 So the people at the top of the hill would just be going to the bathroom in their huts, and the sewage would just slide through all of the rest of the places down underneath that.

01:23:35.000 And disease was everywhere, you see.

01:23:38.000 And it's a really intense, intense scenario.

01:23:42.000 And generally a very good people, but one of the things, and very cool people there that you meet, but one of the problems is that the best way to get ahead in Africa right now, the way to get the most money, is not start a business, be an entrepreneur, create something.

01:23:57.000 It's to get a grant.

01:23:59.000 So we have some of the brightest, smartest Africans instead of trying to create businesses. 1.00

01:24:05.000 And of course some of them do.

01:24:06.000 But I noticed a lot of really the smartest people I meet were coming trying to write grants and just trying to get money instead of focusing on starting a business, building something from the grassroots.

01:24:17.000 So it's almost like some of the help that we're providing is not really helping long term.

01:24:22.000 It's just I can't get the gold out.

01:24:48.000 Yeah, I can't get the gold out.

01:24:49.000 Dear sir.

01:24:50.000 You know how easy it is to get gold anywhere?

01:24:52.000 Everybody will buy gold. 1.00

01:24:54.000 So if anybody comes to you and says, hey, I just can't sell this gold, man, they're full of shit. 0.99

01:24:59.000 And the other one is they like to do the inheritance one. 0.99

01:25:02.000 You have to pay some legal fees.

01:25:05.000 Right.

01:25:05.000 Just a few grand in legal fees and the money's coming, bro.

01:25:08.000 It's going to be the craziest thing you've ever seen.

01:25:10.000 Yeah.

01:25:11.000 We never run out of money forever.

01:25:13.000 Start buying a house.

01:25:14.000 You don't even need a down payment.

01:25:16.000 Just tell them about this and you'll just take...

01:25:18.000 Money in the bank. 0.99

01:25:19.000 Nigerian scammers, I guess, they just got super desperado, a bunch of smart dudes, and then just hopped in and started figuring out how to scam white people. 1.00

01:25:30.000 Right. 0.98

01:25:32.000 Right.

01:25:44.000 Go ahead. 0.96

01:25:45.000 I was just going to say, speaking of Sweden or some shit, I was thinking of foreign countries where this guy can go that leaked the NSA documents. 0.95

01:25:54.000 He's hiding. 0.95

01:25:55.000 You know this whole story?

01:25:56.000 Yeah, more than other WikiLeaks kind of stuff.

01:25:59.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:26:00.000 It's the one that showed us that the NSA has been following every phone call on Verizon.

01:26:07.000 It's been collecting metadata about every transaction you have, every...

01:26:12.000 Every interaction that you've had.

01:26:13.000 What do you think the ultimate endgame is for that? 0.99

01:26:16.000 I guess it's if anybody is a problem, they can just go back to the records and fuck you up, right? 0.92

01:26:22.000 Is that the idea? 0.94

01:26:22.000 Because they're not going to be able to pour through that data and just pick on people because someone said, oh yeah, I'm going to smoke some weed or whatever. 0.94

01:26:29.000 I mean, I really don't think that's the plan.

01:26:31.000 I think it's just they have it just in case they need a...

01:26:34.000 I think, yeah, that's the idea.

01:26:35.000 It's not that they want to invade your privacy, but that if you turn out to be a creep, they want it to be really easy to be able to pull out any data on you.

01:26:44.000 The problem is that it's like so Orwellian.

01:26:46.000 And you're giving people this incredible power to peer into people's privacy, and what do we lose in return for that?

01:26:53.000 Well, we really lose all privacy.

01:26:56.000 Because all privacy, when you're interacting with, unless you're talking in a closed room, and even then, if you go into foreign places that are working on secret shit, like embassies and stuff, they won't let you bring iPhones.

01:27:10.000 Do you know why?

01:27:11.000 Because you can't take a battery out of an iPhone.

01:27:13.000 Amber Lyon taught us that.

01:27:16.000 When she was working for CNN, she'd do these big-time interviews, and she would have to get an Android phone so they could take the battery out.

01:27:23.000 Otherwise, they can have that thing working remotely, and they can spy on you.

01:27:27.000 All that technology is available. 0.98

01:27:29.000 They could just set your phone off while you're hanging out in your office planning your dastardly attack on Gotham City with your fucking superhero friends or whatever, and they can record it all. 0.96

01:27:41.000 That would be less scary if every law in the U.S. was perfectly just. 0.97

01:27:48.000 There was only just laws.

01:27:50.000 You're allowed to experiment with your own consciousness.

01:27:53.000 The financial system has to be cleaned up first.

01:27:57.000 But imagine that. 0.99

01:27:58.000 I mean, all the shit that we're worried about, what are we worried about? 0.99

01:28:01.000 We're worried about, eh, smoking weed. 1.00

01:28:03.000 I guess someone could fuck you up maybe if you're being unfaithful to your girlfriend, but you shouldn't be doing that shit anyways. 1.00

01:28:09.000 But, you know, that's something that still, it's nobody's business. 1.00

01:28:12.000 But if at least the laws were just, then it wouldn't be such a pain in the ass.

01:28:16.000 But because we have all these unjust laws where we can be thrown in jail for an indefinite period of time, you know, it becomes scary for everybody. 0.62

01:28:24.000 Those two things you brought up, too, should have absolutely nothing to do with the law.

01:28:27.000 Infidelity or marijuana.

01:28:30.000 There's nothing to do with the law.

01:28:31.000 Law should be all about protecting people.

01:28:34.000 It should be protecting people from violence, protecting people from theft, protecting people from injustice, and ensuring a harmonious community.

01:28:44.000 And that's really what it should be all about.

01:28:46.000 If that's what all the laws were, you'd be pumped to see the cops.

01:28:49.000 You'd be like, oh sweet, the cops are here.

01:28:51.000 Awesome.

01:28:51.000 They're going to keep everything safe.

01:28:53.000 Instead of being like, motherfucker, stop creeping. 1.00

01:28:56.000 Stop creeping. 1.00

01:28:56.000 Well, you know, I've been really, like I said, listening to this Dan Carlin podcast. 1.00

01:29:00.000 I've listened to dozens of them over the last couple of weeks.

01:29:03.000 And it's amazing how good we have it today, just compared to like the 1500s.

01:29:09.000 Like the way the people were living just 500 plus years ago, it's just, it's total insanity.

01:29:15.000 Total insanity.

01:29:16.000 We would be in hell if we were forced to be back there.

01:29:19.000 It was such a short period of time ago.

01:29:21.000 It's like, we...

01:29:23.000 Without a doubt, there's a lot of room for improvement in this society, in this culture.

01:29:27.000 But we're seeing an awareness right in front of our eyes that I'm not even sure if we've totally understood the impact of it yet.

01:29:36.000 Because what you're seeing with this NSA leak thing and WikiLeaks, you're seeing this forced response.

01:29:44.000 In this grand global way.

01:29:46.000 Like, they have to respond to these things in a global way.

01:29:49.000 Like, the whole UK is...

01:29:51.000 They're writing articles about it, and newspapers are writing articles about it.

01:29:55.000 Hong Kong, the fact that this guy was on the run, the FBI's looking for him.

01:29:59.000 This is a worldwide publicity disaster for the NSA. And it's been created by one person who took a stand.

01:30:09.000 And now they're going after that person as if he's some sort of a terrorist.

01:30:12.000 One person that showed that, hey, you guys are kind of violating the Constitution.

01:30:17.000 Like, what's going on here?

01:30:18.000 Do we have a Constitution anymore? 0.97

01:30:20.000 Oh, no, this NDAA thing that you fucks passed, that sort of bypassed the Constitution. 0.99

01:30:25.000 So now, all this illegal shit, or that used to be illegal, you made it legal, so you think you're doing an okay job. 0.99

01:30:31.000 Is that what's going on here? 0.99

01:30:32.000 This is clearly bad governing.

01:30:35.000 Clearly.

01:30:35.000 And I think that transparency...

01:30:38.000 It's being exhibited in like this reaction to this NSA whistleblower thing where people, you know, like the president's having to defend it now.

01:30:46.000 And one of the things he was saying, I was just talking about this to Duncan.

01:30:49.000 We were talking about how Obama was like, you know, this is something we should definitely have a debate about.

01:30:55.000 I'm definitely open to talking about this.

01:30:57.000 Well, really, why was it a secret then?

01:30:59.000 Why did somebody have to leak this?

01:31:01.000 Why didn't you discuss this with people and explain the pros and cons of losing this much secrecy, of losing this much privacy? 0.96

01:31:10.000 That's ridiculous.

01:31:12.000 There's not that many threats to this world. 0.98

01:31:15.000 I don't buy it.

01:31:16.000 I think they're doing a great job in shutting down threats.

01:31:19.000 If you stop and look at how many threats have turned into actual terror attacks, Besides the Boston one and besides a couple other ones, there's very few.

01:31:28.000 Very few. 0.97

01:31:28.000 When you compare them to actual days of the week, you compare them to actual human interactions that take place throughout 50 states and numerous cities all throughout the day, all over the time, there's very few like those shitheads from Boston. 0.97

01:31:41.000 There's very few, like, you know, whether it's a 9-11 that happened in 2001 or... 0.99

01:31:48.000 Because they can squash most of them without reading every fucking email you send. 1.00

01:31:53.000 They shouldn't be able to read everybody's shit. 1.00

01:31:55.000 That's ridiculous. 0.99

01:31:56.000 You know, I think if you could prove that you were just and that you were looking out for the best interest of man, maybe you should be able to go and like look into this stuff without a warrant. 0.65

01:32:09.000 But because it's been proven, like, the IRS goes after conservative Tea Party groups, like, much more than they go after liberal people.

01:32:17.000 They, like, they just got busted for doing that. 0.98

01:32:19.000 Like, chasing down these Tea Party fucks and making their life hell. 0.99

01:32:22.000 Harassing them. 0.99

01:32:23.000 Like, making their experience with paying their just taxes much more difficult.

01:32:29.000 Well, the beauty is that the age of information, the internet, is allowing all of these people to band together and make a force on their own.

01:32:38.000 Because back in the day, imagine if you had to gather a large group of people.

01:32:42.000 You couldn't do it.

01:32:44.000 You'd have to put out an ad, and then you'd have to get that ad approved by whatever newspaper you were going to do.

01:32:49.000 Or find a reputable news outlet that you could go tell your story to.

01:32:55.000 But now with the internet, these things can spread and these things can gather and people can communicate.

01:32:59.000 And that's a force that I don't think the powers that be are fully comprehending and are ready to reckon with.

01:33:06.000 Dianne Feinstein was explaining that we needed to do these things because we need to stop terrorism.

01:33:11.000 And when she was saying this, I was imagining that this person gets to speak for me.

01:33:17.000 I was imagining the ridiculousness of this person getting to speak for me, this silly person, who if there was a couple of us and she started talking, we'd be like, okay, yeah. 0.96

01:33:27.000 Stop talking. 0.99

01:33:28.000 You're talking nonsense. 0.98

01:33:29.000 Like, you're talking nonsense. 0.99

01:33:30.000 If she was just around us right now and she was explaining why that would be important, she would look like a buffoon within a couple of minutes' time. 0.99

01:33:36.000 She would be stammering. 0.98

01:33:37.000 It would be a disaster.

01:33:39.000 There's no argument there.

01:33:41.000 And there's not a single argument that you could point to where a competent society that cares about its citizens and it cares about the quality of life, which includes respect for your privacy. 0.99

01:33:53.000 That that culture would allow these ass fucks to just download every email you send. 1.00

01:33:59.000 Duncan had a great way of describing it today. 0.98

01:34:01.000 He said, could you imagine if the government in the 1960s said, hey, everybody that sends a letter through the mail, we're going to take it and Xerox it, and then we're not going to read it, but we're going to have it, and then we're going to send it back to you.

01:34:13.000 And we're going to just keep all your letters in a storage facility in Utah. 0.99

01:34:17.000 You'd be like, get the fuck out of here. 0.99

01:34:19.000 You don't get to read my letters. 1.00

01:34:21.000 Why do you need to read?

01:34:22.000 You're just...

01:34:23.000 Because when a person calls themselves the cops or the CIA or the FBI, they put themselves into some sort of a group, and then all of a sudden they believe they have power that a regular person doesn't have.

01:34:32.000 Because if there's only two people on the planet, you and Mr. FBI guy, and Mr. FBI guy is like, I believe you might be plotting terrorism, so I'm going to read your emails. 0.99

01:34:40.000 You're like, emails to who, you fuck? 0.99

01:34:41.000 It's just you and me. 1.00

01:34:42.000 No, you can't read my email.

01:34:44.000 Get out of here. 1.00

01:34:45.000 Go fuck yourself. 1.00

01:34:46.000 You're just a person. 1.00

01:34:47.000 But when you're in a group and you're the NSA or the CIA or the FBI or any fucking other three letters you want to string together, all of a sudden you have the power to go and do really rude shit to people. 0.98

01:35:00.000 And that's the problem with the big groups. 0.99

01:35:02.000 And rude by throwing them in jail indefinitely.

01:35:07.000 I mean, beyond rude.

01:35:08.000 I mean, it's rude when your girlfriend reads your phone texts, even if you haven't done anything wrong.

01:35:13.000 It's just rude.

01:35:14.000 It's rude when people dig into people I write in journals and things like that. 0.99

01:35:21.000 And one of the most sacred things to me is that nobody picks those motherfuckers up. 0.99

01:35:27.000 Because if somebody goes in and reads that journal, that means that every time I'm writing my innermost thoughts, there's going to be a little censor voice up there saying, Oh, well, what if somebody reads this shit? 0.99

01:35:37.000 I better not write this exactly how it is. 0.99

01:35:41.000 And as soon as that censor voice comes on, the whole practice of writing in the journal is fucked. 0.97

01:35:47.000 That's why you should always write in a journal after you beat off. 0.98

01:35:50.000 That way you're at your most honest. 1.00

01:35:52.000 You already know you're a piece of shit. 1.00

01:35:55.000 Just spell it out. 1.00

01:35:56.000 I recently got out of a situation where somebody did that, you know, where somebody went in my phone and screenshotted every single text I have, every single photo, every single thing, and sent it to themselves.

01:36:07.000 And that now questions me when I talk to anybody, even if it's something legit.

01:36:11.000 I don't even want to type it down anymore because of that.

01:36:15.000 Yeah. 0.84

01:36:15.000 I mean, there's like that program that's popular right now, Snapchat, you know, where you send the photo and then it expires in three seconds of your balls and stuff. 0.84

01:36:22.000 People found out a way to hack that now, so you can go in there and take all those photos and all those videos that are supposed to be gone forever.

01:36:28.000 Well, all you have to do, they're so silly, all you have to do is have two phones.

01:36:31.000 Right.

01:36:31.000 And you take a photo of the photo, and that way you don't even have to get a screenshot.

01:36:35.000 You just fucked up the game. 0.92

01:36:36.000 There are so many... 0.99

01:36:37.000 It's a weak game.

01:36:38.000 That weak game is weak. 0.99

01:36:39.000 There are so many vagina shots that you just censored. 1.00

01:36:41.000 No, these motherfuckers are playing tic-tac-toe. 1.00

01:36:43.000 Listen, there's no girls with workable vaginas that we're going to send good pictures anyway. 1.00

01:36:49.000 It's all... 0.99

01:36:50.000 The game's terrible.

01:36:51.000 It's a terrible game.

01:36:52.000 But that is scary, though.

01:36:54.000 If you think about it, because texting is so popular nowadays, you don't realize what you're typing to people.

01:36:59.000 You're typing secrets that only you and that person are supposed to know.

01:37:03.000 And then six months later, you lose your phone.

01:37:08.000 Or you lose your phone, and you're like, oh, look at this guy.

01:37:10.000 What are you talking about?

01:37:11.000 Oh, look at this.

01:37:13.000 Ooh, ooh. 1.00

01:37:13.000 You don't think of shit like that. 1.00

01:37:15.000 You should make your journal. 0.99

01:37:16.000 You should write it in a very specific...

01:37:20.000 Do you have those...

01:37:21.000 You know those scholastic white and black book covers?

01:37:26.000 There's like that weird pattern that they had and it was a hard cover.

01:37:30.000 Like TV that was...

01:37:32.000 Well, you should only write in those, right?

01:37:34.000 And write my journal.

01:37:35.000 And then make up a dummy one with one of those ink bombs like they have for bags that they give away during bank robberies. 1.00

01:37:42.000 And once you open some of your shit, blammy! 1.00

01:37:44.000 Right in the mug. 1.00

01:37:46.000 Purple mug all over your face.

01:37:47.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:37:48.000 Green with envy and rotten desire.

01:37:52.000 Boom. 1.00

01:37:52.000 Just you fucking green fuckhead all over. 1.00

01:37:55.000 I like it. 1.00

01:37:55.000 Dirty green, like a rotten, stinky green. 1.00

01:37:59.000 Or not. 1.00

01:38:00.000 Or don't write ridiculous shit down on paper and leave it around your house. 1.00

01:38:04.000 If I was staying over your house, I'd probably fucking read it. 1.00

01:38:06.000 If I went to use your bathroom and I took a leak and I was like, what is this motherfucker writing? 1.00

01:38:11.000 And I'm on the shitter reading it and you're like, why are you still in there, man? 1.00

01:38:15.000 Oh, dude, I'm constipated.

01:38:16.000 And then you realize that your book is in there and I'm reading your book, most likely. 0.94

01:38:20.000 Don't leave your journal in the shitter.

01:38:23.000 I only have books in the shitter if I'm not taking my kale shakes.

01:38:30.000 Because if I'm on a regular kale shake program, the way I describe it is like a tunnel and then those zombies from World War Z are running down the tunnel just all stacking on top of each other.

01:38:46.000 That's what the kale shake is.

01:38:48.000 It just fills up your entire pipe.

01:38:51.000 With a thick, green, gooey substance, because I down about 30 ounces. 1.00

01:38:56.000 And then those motherfuckers just push everything out, and it's a wild ride. 0.99

01:39:01.000 Yeah, man, you know what, dude? 1.00

01:39:02.000 I told you someone on the message board actually found out how much of that shit is in kale, as opposed to other things. 0.98

01:39:09.000 Celery has more than kale. 0.99

01:39:11.000 Yeah, well, the doctor said that.

01:39:12.000 The doctor said that while he was here.

01:39:14.000 I feel good when I... The doctor.

01:39:16.000 Not the doctor.

01:39:17.000 Dave Asprey?

01:39:17.000 Dave Asprey.

01:39:18.000 You call him a doctor?

01:39:18.000 I didn't mean that.

01:39:19.000 How dare you.

01:39:20.000 But he said that on the podcast, but it still has a lot in it.

01:39:23.000 No, I don't think he said that.

01:39:24.000 I think he said celery had less, actually.

01:39:27.000 Whoever corrected him online, apparently they corrected him.

01:39:31.000 What he said was incorrect.

01:39:32.000 It was just a misdate, whatever he said.

01:39:34.000 But the way to combat that, apparently, that's effective, is calcium.

01:39:38.000 And adding calcium to your kale shake is supposed to offset the effects of any of that acid.

01:39:43.000 Take your nightly TPC. It's got it in there.

01:39:45.000 But what I was going to say is people discount the feedback that you're getting from your body yourself.

01:39:51.000 You feel good when you have a kale shake, right?

01:39:54.000 You can feel it.

01:39:55.000 If there was something poisonous in that, I really trust that the body would be like, yo, don't drink this. 1.00

01:40:02.000 It's pussy feels good as regular pussy. 1.00

01:40:03.000 No, it doesn't. 1.00

01:40:04.000 It's supposed to be really warm.

01:40:05.000 Yeah.

01:40:06.000 But, you know, I mean, people, it's the same, I mean, you can apply that same if you really kind of pay attention to those signals coming back.

01:40:13.000 You can learn a lot from that.

01:40:15.000 And that's, you know, with this, you know, the earth-grown nutrients thing that Mike Dolce is always preaching about, you can tell the difference.

01:40:21.000 And then you get these weird kind of ideas.

01:40:23.000 I mean, I like a lot of the Asprey principles about high fat, but if you take some of that stuff too literally and start hammering, like, lots of butter...

01:40:31.000 And you just don't feel that great all the time, you know?

01:40:34.000 But if you're following a more kind of common sense and just listening to the feedback from your body, I tend to trust that more, just kind of feeling what feels good. 0.99

01:40:44.000 Yeah, but it's also good to have some real science and knowledge behind it too, which I think Asprey, you know, he takes a lot of heat, but he knows a lot of shit. 0.99

01:40:52.000 And he's not a professional. 0.72

01:40:54.000 So if he gets something wrong occasionally, you've got to realize that guy also runs an IT company.

01:40:59.000 People are always accusing him of trying to hawk his items, which he definitely is over-bulletproofing everything.

01:41:05.000 I asked him if he had a bulletproof wife, if he goes home to his bulletproof marriage and has bulletproof sex.

01:41:12.000 He's just starting a business.

01:41:14.000 He's got great ideas, though.

01:41:15.000 He's got great ideas. 0.98

01:41:16.000 But the point is, that guy had free shit up on his website for a long time. 0.98

01:41:21.000 There's still... 0.95

01:41:22.000 A ton of free information, like really in detail, excellent stuff that he's pulled down.

01:41:28.000 He has references.

01:41:29.000 He tells you where he read it.

01:41:30.000 He tells you what it's about.

01:41:31.000 He tells you what the benefits of these certain things are.

01:41:34.000 It's really good stuff.

01:41:36.000 And I know that his He's on a quest to try to figure out the ultimate combination of foods and exercises and treatments to rehabilitate injuries. 0.99

01:41:49.000 And he's right about a lot of shit. 0.98

01:41:51.000 He gave me a great tip on that prolozone therapy for back issues. 1.00

01:41:56.000 It's fucking tremendous. 0.99

01:41:57.000 It's tremendous. 0.99

01:41:58.000 He's got a lot of real wacky ideas.

01:42:00.000 Bulletproof coffees. 1.00

01:42:01.000 Genius shit. 1.00

01:42:02.000 That's a genius invention. 1.00

01:42:04.000 It's another one of those things where you can really...

01:42:06.000 Feel it.

01:42:07.000 Yeah, well, combining it with fats so that it's a slow release of caffeine, that's what coffee always needed.

01:42:14.000 That's what coffee was missing all this time. 1.00

01:42:16.000 That fucking jolt that you get when you down a 20-ounce Starbucks that's black, you get that weird, shaky, like, oh, fuck. 1.00

01:42:24.000 That real druggy feeling. 1.00

01:42:25.000 Too much, man.

01:42:27.000 Yeah, but put some butter in there, put some coconut oil, some MCT, it changes the game.

01:42:31.000 Yeah, that slow release.

01:42:33.000 That's wonderful.

01:42:35.000 You know what else has really changed the game for me, and maybe I'll tell my whole hunting story too here if we want to get into it, but I went out on that hunt down in South Texas, and we got a lot of meat back from that hunt.

01:42:50.000 Every single time I have that meat as compared to some other meat, I mean, the way that I feel it digest, the way that I feel it absorb, it's completely different.

01:43:01.000 Yeah, it's fantastic.

01:43:02.000 It feels completely different.

01:43:04.000 And even if you're buying some kind of grass-fed cow steak, You know, this wild game that we went out and procured ourselves, I mean, it's not only delicious, I mean, everything we've had has been pretty fucking good. 0.92

01:43:15.000 Maybe one dud, but most of the stuff, we're making fajitas, we're making stew, we're making tacos, we're making steaks, we're making stir fries, and all of this shit. 0.98

01:43:24.000 You're making me hungry! 0.97

01:43:25.000 I know.

01:43:26.000 It's been amazing.

01:43:27.000 But that was a really cool experience, and it may be something that we've...

01:43:30.000 I know we've talked about doing something like that for Onnit.

01:43:33.000 So really, how it could potentially work.

01:43:35.000 And it's a challenging scenario.

01:43:37.000 So hopefully, just know that we're working on it, guys, and potentially make this possible.

01:43:42.000 Because I think...

01:43:42.000 The health benefits are there, and the whole process is really valuable.

01:43:46.000 Because if you've gone your whole life, and I know you've made this pitch too, but if you've gone your whole life, and all you do is show up to the grocery store, pick some cellophane-wrapped piece of meat that all you identify is as a steak, you really don't get it.

01:44:01.000 You really don't understand what you're doing.

01:44:03.000 Even if you do, you don't.

01:44:04.000 You don't fully get it until you've been there inside the animal, arms covered in blood, actually cutting those pieces of meat out of something you've killed.

01:44:16.000 That changes your reality.

01:44:19.000 Then you have a full appreciation for what you're doing.

01:44:23.000 So what we did out there in South Texas is there's these ranches.

01:44:27.000 This one was 10,000 acres.

01:44:29.000 So there is a confined space.

01:44:31.000 It is 10,000 acres.

01:44:32.000 But these animals are procreating.

01:44:34.000 They're just kind of loosely measuring the herds because they're mostly wild.

01:44:39.000 The problem with hunting most native game is there's very select seasons in which you're allowed to hunt them.

01:44:44.000 So you have to really kind of stock up. 0.89

01:44:47.000 If you're going to hunt whitetail, you better be in October and you better book some shit in advance or go somewhere that's very small seasons. 0.86

01:44:54.000 So what these exotic ranches have done, if it's non-native game, you're allowed to Basically, take animals from the herd all throughout the year. 0.79

01:45:02.000 So they've gotten species of animals from different parts of the world.

01:45:06.000 And they're just, you know, that country's version of the deer.

01:45:09.000 So there's fallow deer, which come from Europe.

01:45:11.000 There's some black buck, which come, I think they're from Indonesia, tiger food.

01:45:16.000 There's some axis deer, which also come from around that area.

01:45:19.000 Black buck might be Somewhere else. 0.98

01:45:21.000 And then there's oryx and attics and all these different kind of antelope and deer that they get.

01:45:25.000 And they're just living it up out in South Texas.

01:45:29.000 The plants down there have roughly 30% protein.

01:45:32.000 And even though they're sparse, they have pretty good adequate protein.

01:45:36.000 And when there is kind of a drought, they do supplement it with a little extra food as well.

01:45:40.000 But they're pretty much just living off the land and thriving and procreating.

01:45:44.000 And so you're going down there, and not only is it like a cool safari where you're seeing all these exotic creatures, you're actually able to go out and take your rifle and hop out on some sticks or, you know, track them down in these kind of outdoor vehicles, which are like these commando-style suburbans,

01:46:01.000 and go hunting for an animal that you're going to take then and butcher and have meat for.

01:46:06.000 Man, I've been eating the same deer for like three months now. 0.92

01:46:11.000 So it's a really fucking cool experience where you're out there in the land and these animals are, you know, ostensibly as wild as other animals. 0.95

01:46:20.000 I mean, they're not sensitized to the truck. 0.96

01:46:22.000 A few of the species are.

01:46:23.000 They get kind of used to the truck and that would be a little weird to shoot.

01:46:26.000 But these black bucks, I mean, I was out there hunting for the entirety of the day and I really didn't think I was going to get one.

01:46:33.000 You know, I was hoping to get one, but I kind of...

01:46:36.000 Said, you know, alright, if today's not the right day to take an animal, so be it.

01:46:40.000 So we're out cruising around, and every animal that came within about 250 yards was just scattering.

01:46:47.000 And I knew the ballistics on my gun, I wasn't going to comfortably take a shot that was over about, you know, 150 to 180. Just because at that point, my particular ballistics on the bullet, the bullet was going to drop about 4 to 6 inches.

01:47:02.000 So you'd have to gauge that?

01:47:03.000 So you'd have to gauge that.

01:47:04.000 Do you have like one of those goggles that you look through and it gives you the number?

01:47:07.000 No, I didn't have that.

01:47:08.000 So it was all by, you know, we had a guide there, and he'd be like, yeah, that's about 190. Take him out, son.

01:47:14.000 That's about 190. Get her done. 0.99

01:47:16.000 So anyway, so we finally, it's the very end of the day, I didn't think I was going to get anything, and we see this black buck doe at the very top of the hill about 260 yards away.

01:47:28.000 Instead of scattering, I was like, oh great, she's just going to run away like everything else does. 0.97

01:47:32.000 Instead of scattering away, it ran like right towards the truck for 80 yards.

01:47:36.000 So it was like at 160. And this is like right when the sun was kind of starting to set.

01:47:42.000 Definitely the last chance I had.

01:47:43.000 So I made like a quick makeshift brace.

01:47:47.000 Saw it in the crosshairs, tried to steady my heartbeat from pounding, and try to keep the crosshairs from dancing all over the thing, seeing sky, seeing ground, and then focus in, take a deep breath.

01:47:58.000 And then it just kind of turned just the right way, and I pulled the trigger.

01:48:02.000 Wah! 0.94

01:48:03.000 You know, a big blast.

01:48:04.000 And then it was just full adrenaline from there.

01:48:07.000 I saw it rear up in the air, fell to the ground, and I remember running up to it because I knew that if it was in pain, They say to kind of wait and see if it gets up.

01:48:17.000 I wasn't really down with that.

01:48:19.000 I wanted to make sure that if it was there that I could ease its suffering as quickly as possible.

01:48:24.000 So I just dropped the gun and went up there.

01:48:27.000 I knew I hit it pretty good and sprinted up.

01:48:29.000 Why'd you drop the gun?

01:48:32.000 It's just it was heavy and clumsy.

01:48:33.000 I had a knife on my A knife?

01:48:36.000 I had a knife on my side.

01:48:38.000 So you're going to do it knife style?

01:48:39.000 You weren't going to use the gun?

01:48:40.000 No.

01:48:41.000 Well, because the gun can spoil meat, right?

01:48:43.000 If you miss with the gun, you could hit a shoulder, which is going to be 10 pounds of meat.

01:48:47.000 You could, you know, miss and clip some back strap.

01:48:49.000 You could, you know, really the cleanest way to do it to preserve the meat, which is why you're doing it.

01:48:54.000 Right.

01:48:55.000 So you can kill less animals is with a knife.

01:48:57.000 Right.

01:48:57.000 Dude, be honest.

01:48:58.000 You were excited about killing it with a knife. 0.96

01:49:01.000 There's something about you right now that's creeping me out. 0.99

01:49:03.000 I'm thinking of you going to stray caveman, biting an ear while you saw him.

01:49:10.000 Well, I'll tell you all the emotions that went through, really, at that point. 0.97

01:49:14.000 Just leave out horny.

01:49:15.000 Right.

01:49:16.000 That didn't cross the path.

01:49:18.000 So we ran up there, and obviously your heart's pounding, and it's a really weird experience.

01:49:24.000 And I go up and I see it.

01:49:25.000 And it was still alive, but it was probably bleeding out.

01:49:28.000 It was definitely bleeding out.

01:49:29.000 It caught a piece of the heart, a lot of lung.

01:49:32.000 And it was definitely bleeding out, but I wanted to make sure that it didn't suffer.

01:49:36.000 But at the point that I got up there, the feeling wasn't any feeling of like, you know, it was nothing but just pure gratitude and appreciation for this animal.

01:49:47.000 And I put my hand on its neck and pulled the knife out, which is actually a very special knife to me.

01:49:53.000 It was one that my uncle gave to me before he passed away.

01:49:57.000 And I put my hand on its neck and quieted myself and then put it into the heart.

01:50:04.000 And I could feel the heart reverberating through the blade of the knife into my hand.

01:50:09.000 And I pulled it out and just kept my hands, one hand on its chest and one hand On its neck and could kind of sense the life leave the body.

01:50:18.000 And, you know, I said a little prayer, kind of avatar style.

01:50:22.000 Wrote one up beforehand.

01:50:24.000 You know, basically the idea is, you know, as your spirit goes back to the source to nourish new life, may your flesh, you know, nourish our bodies in this life.

01:50:33.000 You know, thank you, sister.

01:50:34.000 That's very avatar-like, dude.

01:50:36.000 That's very avatar-like.

01:50:36.000 If you said it next to me, I would never let you live it down.

01:50:40.000 I'd be saying...

01:50:41.000 Thank you, oh sister.

01:50:43.000 That's true.

01:50:43.000 While we're eating it, I'll be laughing.

01:50:45.000 I'll be like, you silly bitch. 1.00

01:50:47.000 And our guide would do the same thing. 1.00

01:50:49.000 Most of the people down in South Texas.

01:50:50.000 The guide did it too?

01:50:51.000 No, they would say the same thing as you.

01:50:53.000 I mean, this is for me what I needed to do.

01:50:55.000 I thought you were saying they would say the same thing as you.

01:50:57.000 No, no, no.

01:50:58.000 Nobody would say the same thing as me.

01:51:00.000 But for me, that's what I needed to say.

01:51:03.000 I'm giving you a hard time, but the reality is that's a beautiful way of approaching it.

01:51:07.000 I mean, it's just something easy to make fun of, and I'm a hack.

01:51:10.000 It was right there.

01:51:11.000 I couldn't let it go.

01:51:12.000 So I look at its eyes, its face, and its face was covered in these spines.

01:51:17.000 And so I thought it hit a cactus.

01:51:19.000 And they were like all up in its eyeball and stuff like that.

01:51:22.000 And then I smell the flick.

01:51:24.000 I hear the flick of a lighter and a cigarette.

01:51:26.000 And it's our country guy.

01:51:27.000 He had like a Budweiser and a cigarette.

01:51:29.000 I don't know.

01:51:29.000 He's a South Texas guy.

01:51:30.000 He says, oh, porcupine spines.

01:51:33.000 You won't see that one time in a thousand.

01:51:35.000 And so basically, some porcupine had whacked it in the face, and the spines were working their way through its eyeball.

01:51:41.000 So it was kind of a cool feeling to know that at that point, I had taken an animal out of its misery, so to speak, too, which was not necessarily my idea.

01:51:52.000 I was going to take an animal that presented it, but...

01:51:54.000 That happened to be the one that presented itself.

01:51:57.000 But then the really weird thing happened.

01:51:58.000 I got really angry at the porcupine. 0.98

01:52:01.000 Like, my love for the animal, my appreciation for the animal was so strong that I fucking hated that porcupine. 0.99

01:52:07.000 Really? 0.97

01:52:08.000 Like, I felt like that was an enemy.

01:52:09.000 Like, if someone, you know, slapped your sister.

01:52:12.000 Yeah, no.

01:52:12.000 The porcupine, all it did is poke it in the eye.

01:52:14.000 You fucking stabbed it. 1.00

01:52:15.000 Shot it and stabbed it. 1.00

01:52:17.000 You went straight Detroit on that fucking poor deer, and you're like, cunty porcupine. 1.00

01:52:21.000 That's what's ironic, is that, I mean, I'm the killer. 1.00

01:52:24.000 I killed it. 0.74

01:52:25.000 The porcupine was just doing its thing, but I hated the porcupine like it was something that slapped a friend of mine. 0.96

01:52:31.000 That's so weird.

01:52:32.000 Yeah, well, I guess you had an intense experience with it.

01:52:35.000 Yeah, so then from there, we went there and skinned it.

01:52:39.000 You have to avoid the stomach, because the stomach smells like old guacamole.

01:52:42.000 It smells terrible, so I tried not to puncture that.

01:52:44.000 I got a little nick in it.

01:52:45.000 But I did a pretty good job.

01:52:46.000 And then you clear all the guts out and then cut all the pieces away.

01:52:50.000 But then we went fully from there to skinning it and then butchering it entirely.

01:52:55.000 And it was cool to feel.

01:52:56.000 The best part of the meat is the tenderloin.

01:52:58.000 That's what all this tenderloin meat is.

01:53:03.000 It's really tender.

01:53:04.000 But not until I was up in there actually cutting the tenderloin out and feeling what it felt like.

01:53:10.000 It feels more like organ meat than regular meat.

01:53:13.000 You know, did I understand, like, oh, this is a different part of the animal.

01:53:16.000 You know, this part of the animal is up inside, like, the cavity itself.

01:53:20.000 It's not on the exterior part, so it works less.

01:53:22.000 It's just different.

01:53:23.000 It feels different.

01:53:24.000 Yeah.

01:53:24.000 And that's why it tastes so delicious.

01:53:26.000 And then the other parts, like the haunches, the backstrap, they have, like, kind of a more sinewy, grittier feel.

01:53:31.000 Well, the backstrap is the...

01:53:32.000 Up along the spine.

01:53:33.000 It is the loin, yeah.

01:53:35.000 No, the backstrap is right along the spine.

01:53:38.000 Right.

01:53:38.000 On either side, on the exterior, the tenderloin is actually up inside the animal, underneath, like you go inside the ribcage.

01:53:45.000 So it's connected to the backstrap?

01:53:47.000 It's another section of it?

01:53:48.000 No, it's a completely different section.

01:53:50.000 I thought it was the same thing.

01:53:51.000 Yeah, no, the backstrap is alongside of the spine, and then the tenderloin is up underneath There's a really cool video of a dude taking apart a pig.

01:54:03.000 I have it on my Twitter if you want to see it. 0.99

01:54:07.000 It's kind of fucked up. 0.79

01:54:09.000 It's on my Twitter from a while ago, so I don't know what the name of the video is. 0.97

01:54:15.000 See if you can find it, Brian, because I know you're not doing anything else.

01:54:19.000 You want to show that on Ustream?

01:54:21.000 Uh, I think you can. 0.74

01:54:22.000 Dude taking apart the pig.

01:54:24.000 But my point is, when you watch it, like, you watch, like, the set, like, oh, well, there's bacon.

01:54:30.000 Yeah.

01:54:31.000 Oh, well, there's the ham hocks.

01:54:33.000 Oh, well, there's that.

01:54:34.000 There's this.

01:54:34.000 There's the pork loin.

01:54:36.000 There's the, when you're watching it, like, be dissected from an actual pig broken down, and he does it in, like, three minutes.

01:54:43.000 They're fast.

01:54:43.000 Yeah.

01:54:44.000 This guy just hacks through this fucking thing. 1.00

01:54:45.000 He uses a saw in some spots. 1.00

01:54:48.000 This isn't it.

01:54:50.000 This is taking apart, but this is taking apart a cooked pig.

01:54:54.000 This guy's got a raw one.

01:54:56.000 That's the one you want. 0.99

01:54:57.000 You want the raw pig. 0.99

01:54:59.000 Gross. 0.95

01:55:00.000 I think this is probably... 0.95

01:55:01.000 Yep.

01:55:02.000 Well, this isn't the one that I had seen, but this is similar, where they just start slicing through, and it goes from an animal to meat.

01:55:12.000 And it makes that weird transition.

01:55:14.000 But when you kill it yourself, it never makes that transition.

01:55:17.000 Even when it's meat, it's like there's a re...

01:55:19.000 When you put that steak on the grill and you're seasoning it and you're cooking it, like this is a weird connection with that animal that you killed.

01:55:27.000 Absolutely.

01:55:28.000 Absolutely.

01:55:29.000 Most people don't get that, you know?

01:55:31.000 They don't ever have a chance to get that.

01:55:33.000 Yeah.

01:55:34.000 And it's definitely something completely different.

01:55:37.000 It changes your whole opinion of the meat.

01:55:41.000 Probably there's some placebo effect in there because of your emotional state towards the animal.

01:55:47.000 But there's also...

01:55:47.000 It really feels like there's something tangible there too.

01:55:50.000 Some deeper appreciation that actually manifests.

01:55:55.000 I don't know.

01:55:55.000 Your mind is so important in so many bodily functions.

01:55:58.000 To think that your mind couldn't affect your digestion or absorption or things like that, I don't think that's unreasonable either.

01:56:04.000 But whatever it is, whether it's tangible or whether it's mental, the connection and the way that you...

01:56:10.000 You know, approach and digest, assimilate that meat, which was, you know, energy from another animal.

01:56:16.000 It's just different.

01:56:18.000 Yeah, and even if it's not, I mean, it is healthy, and if you think it's different, it becomes different.

01:56:25.000 Yeah.

01:56:25.000 If you have this, even like, It's hard to dismiss the emotional connection that you have to it.

01:56:30.000 Because that emotional connection is very important.

01:56:32.000 It is.

01:56:33.000 Emotional connections are something that people poo-poo.

01:56:36.000 Oh, you're just emotionally attached to that.

01:56:38.000 Well, maybe it's good.

01:56:39.000 Maybe it's something that you like.

01:56:41.000 Keep that thing. 0.98

01:56:42.000 Whatever the fuck we're talking about. 0.95

01:56:43.000 Emotional connections are not necessarily bad. 0.99

01:56:45.000 And if you have an emotional connection like that, it would make the meat feel better.

01:56:49.000 Make you feel better like...

01:56:53.000 Every time we cook this deer, we're pumped.

01:56:56.000 We're excited about it.

01:56:58.000 Oh, this tastes so good!

01:57:00.000 And it really does taste good.

01:57:01.000 But just the feeling of having gone out there and caught it, butchered it, put it in our freezer, and then cooked it up, it's like a connection to something that...

01:57:11.000 Our ancestors have been doing for thousands of years.

01:57:14.000 Yeah, it really is.

01:57:15.000 It's weird.

01:57:16.000 Even when you're doing it in a place with fences.

01:57:18.000 Yeah.

01:57:18.000 I mean, it's not like going to Africa and taking out a wild zebra, which, by the way, apparently are delicious.

01:57:26.000 Apparently zebras tastes good.

01:57:28.000 I never had horse before until I went to Joe Beef in Montreal.

01:57:31.000 And they serve this horse.

01:57:32.000 Oh my god. 0.99

01:57:33.000 It's goddamn delicious. 0.99

01:57:35.000 A lot of cultures ate a lot of horses. 0.99

01:57:36.000 People hate you saying that, man.

01:57:38.000 They hate you saying that.

01:57:39.000 And I get it.

01:57:40.000 I've seen people on their horses.

01:57:42.000 That's like their dog.

01:57:43.000 Is pony better?

01:57:44.000 I wonder.

01:57:45.000 It's probably more tender.

01:57:47.000 Smaller.

01:57:47.000 I don't know.

01:57:48.000 The Shetland ponies are little tough, right?

01:57:50.000 Yeah.

01:57:50.000 Anything with, like, the crazy pom-pom feet, don't eat that.

01:57:54.000 It's probably a crazy-ass fucker. 1.00

01:57:57.000 Budweiser horses. 1.00

01:57:58.000 Yeah, those are big fucking horses, too, man. 0.99

01:58:00.000 What are they? 0.99

01:58:00.000 Chippendales? 0.99

01:58:01.000 What are they called?

01:58:03.000 Clydesdales?

01:58:03.000 Clydesdales.

01:58:04.000 Chippendales.

01:58:06.000 Those can be big stallions too, Brad. 0.99

01:58:08.000 Oh, you went with the gay voice. 1.00

01:58:09.000 So when you went with the Chinese voice earlier and the gay voice now, you son of a bitch. 1.00

01:58:14.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

01:58:15.000 So what we would do if we were going to have an Onnit hunting thing is basically just use that... 0.99

01:58:22.000 Branch and you know just work it through like they could do it through us through our website We explain it maybe map out your experience Whitney's experience and yeah, I'm gonna go there soon to my experience I want to shoot a buffalo I got a bit and in people like it's not very sporting I just want to eat a buffalo and I want to shoot out of me I want to I have a giant freezer and I'm gonna set it up to eat my own meat and I just think it's the smart way to do it.

01:58:43.000 I think it's the healthiest way to do it.

01:58:45.000 And I think that wild game like that, whether it's buffalo or deer, and especially venison, I think is like the most delicious meat on earth.

01:58:52.000 Elk is absolutely delicious.

01:58:54.000 It's really the smart thing to do if you can do it.

01:58:56.000 If you have the time, if you have the finances to go to a place and hunt.

01:59:01.000 It's really the smartest way to gather meat.

01:59:04.000 It's the way we really should all do it, and if we did, we would have a totally different sense of this connection between man and nature.

01:59:12.000 Absolutely.

01:59:12.000 Yeah, and you could combine it with a lot of other cool stuff.

01:59:15.000 We could do kettlebell training workouts, mace, club in the day, get people familiarized with that aspect, have some talks and discussions about different things.

01:59:27.000 We're good to go.

01:59:46.000 Some kind of program.

01:59:48.000 I think the only thing smart to do with the gun thing is to let them do it.

01:59:52.000 Let the branch do it. 0.99

01:59:53.000 We don't have...

01:59:54.000 Because you don't want to put people with psychos.

01:59:57.000 Like, we're going to have four of you going to go hunting together.

01:59:59.000 And one guy's just shooting the ground under his feet and trying to rocket jump.

02:00:04.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

02:00:06.000 You never know what the fuck you're getting into when you meet some random strangers. 0.99

02:00:11.000 It's just, we all love Alpha Brain. 0.99

02:00:13.000 I love Alphabrain.

02:00:14.000 You love Alphabrain.

02:00:15.000 Let's play Most Dangerous Game.

02:00:18.000 Rock, paper, scissors to who gets killed.

02:00:23.000 There's a lot of nuts out there is what I'm trying to say.

02:00:25.000 But having a place where you have a gathering of the Juggalos type situation for on events. 0.96

02:00:32.000 Everybody gets together and does battle rubs until they throw up in the garbage.

02:00:35.000 Bell ropes! 1.00

02:00:37.000 Fucking shroom tech's amazing! 0.99

02:00:39.000 Chest bump and... 0.99

02:00:40.000 Sounds like a natural progression for Ana to start hunting. 1.00

02:00:43.000 Well, not Onnit start hunting, but Onnit have an option where we connect you with one of those places.

02:00:52.000 It would be a cool program.

02:00:54.000 I would love to have a Ted Nugent style set up.

02:00:57.000 It's definitely not the same as going out into the woods of Alaska and getting a brown bear.

02:01:05.000 I think what I would call it is conscious meat acquisition.

02:01:08.000 Yes, that's a great way to say it.

02:01:10.000 You're acquiring your meat in a conscious way, and that's really it.

02:01:13.000 It happens to be at the tip of a rifle, but that's really what you're about doing.

02:01:18.000 Do laser tag hunting with animals.

02:01:21.000 Well, it's a funny thing, man.

02:01:22.000 People do that with photos.

02:01:23.000 People try to get the crosshairs.

02:01:25.000 Yeah, they do that.

02:01:26.000 They close up on them.

02:01:27.000 It's really dangerous, mountain lions. 1.00

02:01:29.000 People try to do that, um, the, um, oh, fuck. 1.00

02:01:34.000 Photo tag? 1.00

02:01:35.000 What is it?

02:01:36.000 Laser tag is where you wear, like, a vest, right?

02:01:39.000 Well, yeah, you could put, like, a vest on an animal, like a cat, just have a laser tag cat ranch, and you just try to shoot them, because they're fast.

02:01:47.000 People don't have any problem with fishing in a place where they stock the fish.

02:01:51.000 Like, nobody has a problem with that.

02:01:52.000 You go to a lake, and the fish are in the lake.

02:01:54.000 Like, oh, they stocked it recently.

02:01:56.000 It's great.

02:01:56.000 You can catch big trout.

02:01:57.000 But if you go to a fenced-in place and hunt an animal, you're a piece of shit. 1.00

02:02:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:02:02.000 I guess the mammal thing.

02:02:04.000 Fish don't seem...

02:02:05.000 They're so different from us.

02:02:06.000 I had a cool experience fishing, though, recently.

02:02:08.000 I've always gone rod and reel fishing.

02:02:10.000 And that's really foreign. 0.95

02:02:11.000 You're just kind of waiting around, and all of a sudden... 1.00

02:02:14.000 Oh, shit! 1.00

02:02:15.000 And you grab the rod and you reel it in and you hope you get something and then someone whacks it on the head and maybe you pull the hook out if you're brave and sometimes you're with somebody who does it. 1.00

02:02:24.000 Whatever that whole program is, it's different.

02:02:27.000 But I went spearfishing recently, which was kind of like...

02:02:31.000 Yeah.

02:02:47.000 And you're free diving down, you know, eight, ten feet and chasing after these fish and trying to spear up.

02:02:53.000 So is it a spear gun?

02:02:55.000 Yeah, so basically...

02:02:56.000 It's an old-time spear gun?

02:02:58.000 The trigger releases the bungee cords.

02:03:00.000 So you wrap these bungee cords like this.

02:03:01.000 You pull them manually like this.

02:03:04.000 And they go on this rod, and the spear slides in a groove, and the bungee cords are behind the rod.

02:03:11.000 And then when you pull the trigger, it just releases the thing that's holding the bungee cords, like a rubber band gun, kind of.

02:03:17.000 And so it releases that, and that propels the spear forward through the groove, and the spear is attached to a cord.

02:03:26.000 Right.

02:03:27.000 So the bungee cords, it's all full manual energy.

02:03:30.000 You pull the cords back, wrap it around, and then release it and the bungees go.

02:03:34.000 But it's really particularly challenging because as soon as the spear hits the water, it starts to dive a little bit.

02:03:40.000 It doesn't always go perfectly straight because of resistance.

02:03:43.000 It's not like air.

02:03:44.000 So how close do you have to get?

02:03:47.000 You know, good people who are good could probably do it, you know, 12 feet, you know, 15 feet, maybe even farther.

02:03:54.000 People who suck, like me initially, like, I had to get, like, right up on these fish to get them, like, 6 feet.

02:04:02.000 You know, eight feet. 0.98

02:04:03.000 How many did you miss before you got one?

02:04:05.000 A ton. 1.00

02:04:05.000 A fucking ton. 1.00

02:04:06.000 I was missing them constantly. 0.99

02:04:08.000 You're swimming around, there's hard current.

02:04:10.000 But the cool thing is, is some of the fish you can catch with the hook.

02:04:13.000 Like, you can get snapper, which is really delicious.

02:04:15.000 But the guide on the boat, and I was down in Mexico doing this, the guide on the boat It was telling me that parrotfish tastes like lobster, and I should really get parrotfish.

02:04:23.000 Well, parrotfish, they have this little tiny mouth.

02:04:26.000 All they do is eat algae, and you never catch them with a hook because you can never get a hook in their little tiny mouth because you've got nothing they want to eat that's on a hook, unless you had a really algae-ed hook or whatever, but it would never happen.

02:04:36.000 But with spearfishing, you can actually target these fish, and so we got one.

02:04:41.000 Actually, Whitney got it.

02:04:42.000 I didn't get it. 0.98

02:04:42.000 I fucking kept missing it. 0.98

02:04:44.000 She was way more gangster than a spear gun. 1.00

02:04:46.000 I'll let that happen.

02:04:47.000 But anyway, so she got one of these parrotfish, and then we brought it back to the boat, and I was really curious to eat it.

02:04:51.000 We brought it in. 0.95

02:04:52.000 The chefs cooked it right away, and it was fucking delicious. 0.98

02:04:56.000 Best fish ever? 0.98

02:04:57.000 One of the best fishes I ever had.

02:04:58.000 It was like a cross between a nice flaky whitefish and lobster, like somewhere in the middle.

02:05:05.000 Wow.

02:05:06.000 It had kind of that richer...

02:05:08.000 Kind of crustacean taste and texture. 1.00

02:05:11.000 I want to go there and kill one just to eat it. 1.00

02:05:13.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

02:05:14.000 It was so good! 1.00

02:05:15.000 We had that and I had triggerfish ceviche, which is another type of fish that you would never catch.

02:05:19.000 Wow.

02:05:19.000 So it opens up the possibilities.

02:05:21.000 And these fish are plentiful.

02:05:22.000 It's not like they're endangered species.

02:05:25.000 Did you see any sharks?

02:05:26.000 I didn't.

02:05:27.000 But that's dangerous when you're spearfishing because the sharks will...

02:05:32.000 Because when you hit the fish, there's fish guts exploding out the outside.

02:05:36.000 So if there are sharks, it's not an optimal situation.

02:05:39.000 So doing it off South African coast would be a bad idea.

02:05:44.000 Some dude just got jacked in France on his honeymoon.

02:05:48.000 Was it a tiger shark?

02:05:50.000 I do not know what shark it was, but I do know that it was the third guy in two years to get jacked there.

02:05:57.000 Too many for my cow. 0.99

02:05:59.000 You know what they should have?

02:06:00.000 They should have a restaurant.

02:06:00.000 They have these in Japan where it's just like this humongous saltwater pool in the middle.

02:06:05.000 Where you fish and you catch your own dinner.

02:06:08.000 And it seems like more places would have that.

02:06:10.000 Like you just have pretty much a huge aquarium and you kind of get the The fun of catching your own fish and then eating it on top of it.

02:06:17.000 Back when I was thinking of silly Las Vegas restaurant ideas, I thought of an idea where you had that with lobsters and crabs and all kinds of stuff.

02:06:25.000 And that you could tell a mermaid, someone with a mermaid fin, to go down and you'd point to the one you want.

02:06:31.000 And the mermaid would go, okay, that's the one you want. 0.99

02:06:33.000 And she'd dive down and swim and grab it for you. 0.91

02:06:35.000 And everybody could sit around the tank and watch the mermaid swim around there.

02:06:39.000 If anybody here that idea wants to take it, go ahead.

02:06:41.000 I don't need any credit, I just want to go.

02:06:43.000 Just give me a reservation.

02:06:44.000 There's a bar in Sacramento called, I think, the Mermaid Bar, where it's just this huge, long bar, and on the top there's this humongous aquarium.

02:06:54.000 They just have hot chicks. 1.00

02:06:57.000 Mermaid outfits just swimming back and forth.

02:07:00.000 And it's so eerie to just see this mermaid chick just swimming above you.

02:07:05.000 But what sucks is everyone just sits there and takes photos.

02:07:07.000 No one's even talking.

02:07:08.000 They're just taking photos of the mermaid.

02:07:09.000 Right.

02:07:10.000 And there's no real point to it.

02:07:11.000 So it feels gimmicky.

02:07:12.000 Like if they were actually fetching...

02:07:14.000 Fetching stuff.

02:07:15.000 Working for you. 0.99

02:07:16.000 Or maybe they're trying to catch shit with a net. 0.99

02:07:19.000 You have fish in there, like you're saying. 0.98

02:07:20.000 Yeah.

02:07:21.000 They also have this restaurant.

02:07:22.000 I've been...

02:07:23.000 I've been researching a lot of things in Japan lately.

02:07:25.000 But they have this restaurant called the No Panties Restaurant.

02:07:28.000 I knew you were going to go there.

02:07:29.000 Why did I know you were going to say that?

02:07:30.000 They have this thing with a conveyor belt going around the top of the restaurant.

02:07:36.000 They just have huge dishes.

02:07:38.000 And so you just go there to your waitress and you're like, I would like that roast beef.

02:07:41.000 And then she stands up on this thing to get it. 0.75

02:07:43.000 Why'd you choose roast beef?

02:07:45.000 Exactly.

02:07:46.000 And she's got no panties? 0.97

02:07:47.000 And she's got no panties on.

02:07:49.000 And so...

02:07:50.000 There needs to be more restaurants like this in America.

02:07:52.000 I mean, if you really liked a girl, you would be constantly getting more dishes.

02:07:55.000 More food.

02:07:56.000 Yeah, do you think that America's just too savage and that people would just start grabbing her and they wouldn't be able to just let her do that? 0.99

02:08:01.000 I guess, maybe.

02:08:02.000 Is that what it is?

02:08:03.000 I mean, there's not many restaurants like that in America anyway that are crazy. 0.99

02:08:06.000 Like, there's that restaurant, Dix, where everyone's, they just, like, Or an asshole to you the whole time? 0.99

02:08:10.000 I just think that it's female. 0.99

02:08:12.000 I think that most partners, most spouses in America just would not allow, would not go there and would not allow their husbands or boyfriends or anybody to go there, period, ever.

02:08:24.000 It's not exactly family style.

02:08:25.000 No, but there should be more adult restaurants.

02:08:28.000 Like, have a Hooters where there's just no toppings.

02:08:31.000 Well, they do.

02:08:32.000 I mean, that place in Florida that we went to.

02:08:33.000 It's called a strip club, Brian.

02:08:34.000 It exists.

02:08:34.000 They serve wings and there's no tops.

02:08:37.000 It's already been done.

02:08:38.000 Rachel's best food ever.

02:08:40.000 Yeah, there's nothing wrong with looking at a little box while you're having some roast beef. 1.00

02:08:45.000 A little vagina. 1.00

02:08:46.000 Just like there's nothing wrong for the gals to go to cocks and get some chicken while dudes are swinging dicks in front of them. 1.00

02:08:52.000 Hot dogs. 0.98

02:08:53.000 They really want to...

02:08:53.000 What's wrong with it?

02:08:55.000 Nothing.

02:08:55.000 There's nothing wrong with it.

02:08:56.000 Nothing wrong with it.

02:08:57.000 Do whatever they want.

02:08:57.000 Let them do what they want, right?

02:08:59.000 Wouldn't that be better? 1.00

02:09:01.000 And let us all decide what we actually like instead of confusing the shit out of Catholic school girls by telling them the cock is bad. 1.00

02:09:08.000 Who's the biggest freaks ever, right? 1.00

02:09:10.000 Catholic school girls.

02:09:11.000 Did you ever have a Catholic school girl experience?

02:09:14.000 Oh, yeah.

02:09:15.000 One of my first girlfriends.

02:09:17.000 In Catholic high school.

02:09:18.000 All girls high school.

02:09:20.000 And every girl in that class was rabid. 0.98

02:09:24.000 Rabid. 1.00

02:09:24.000 They got a hold of some cock. 1.00

02:09:26.000 As soon as they got out of school, they would just start jerking dudes off. 1.00

02:09:28.000 They couldn't help themselves. 0.99

02:09:29.000 They were in a trance. 0.98

02:09:30.000 Anytime you repress those natural instincts, you're going to get everything all fucked up. 0.96

02:09:34.000 It's fascinating, isn't it? 0.98

02:09:35.000 Mm-hmm.

02:09:35.000 That girl was easily one of the most sexually explosive girls I had ever dated ever.

02:09:42.000 As soon as you would start making out, she would go full satanic possession. 1.00

02:09:47.000 It was insane.

02:09:48.000 She was rich with so many other emotions of sin and danger and all of these things wrapped up with an already exciting sexual experience.

02:09:56.000 It's just too much to have.

02:09:58.000 And we're both 17. You know, what the fuck you're doing when you're 17? 0.99

02:10:03.000 You're like just a meat machine, just moving to the whim of hormones. 1.00

02:10:08.000 That's why I like those dick pills. 1.00

02:10:09.000 That's what happens to me. 0.99

02:10:11.000 It's not, though.

02:10:11.000 It's not the same.

02:10:12.000 It's not the same.

02:10:13.000 You're forcing it.

02:10:14.000 You're like, I knew it was going to feel so good.

02:10:16.000 Plop, plop, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.

02:10:19.000 Brr.

02:10:20.000 There's a big difference between that and when you...

02:10:22.000 Do you remember those 17-year-old boners? 0.99

02:10:25.000 Those things were ridiculous. 0.99

02:10:26.000 They would hurt. 1.00

02:10:27.000 Your dick would get so hard it would hurt. 1.00

02:10:29.000 Dude, my dick felt like it was going to blow up this morning. 1.00

02:10:31.000 Yeah, but you're on pills, man. 1.00

02:10:34.000 You're on some wacky fucking shit that you got at a couch store. 1.00

02:10:37.000 I had to do the thing where I had to take a shit when I woke up this morning, so I had to have a bucket that I usually use to clean my dog so I could pee in the bucket because I couldn't tuck my dick down while I was shitting. 1.00

02:10:47.000 Well, you gotta learn how to have better balance. 0.99

02:10:49.000 You gotta look at it like doing a downward dog and just grab a hold of the top of the lid, you know, the top where the upper deck is, and then just bend down and push your dick down. 1.00

02:10:58.000 Yeah, but don't push your balls so far back that it gets in the way of your shit. 1.00

02:11:03.000 Yeah, because that's going to slide right down your balls. 1.00

02:11:06.000 You're going to have to do one at a time. 0.99

02:11:07.000 That's what you're going to do.

02:11:08.000 I could have. 1.00

02:11:09.000 You have a fucked up boner. 1.00

02:11:11.000 I mean, when you guys shit, you can't really stop that pee. 1.00

02:11:14.000 That's like a pee that you can't stop while you're shitting because it will stop the shit also. 1.00

02:11:18.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

02:11:19.000 I never thought about it that deeply, but now I am forced to. 0.99

02:11:23.000 I don't think I've ever actually shit with a boner. 0.99

02:11:26.000 Oh, really? 0.99

02:11:27.000 Yeah, I just wait.

02:11:28.000 Well, Brian is constantly on sialis.

02:11:31.000 He's just all day, every day, can't get rid of boners. 0.99

02:11:35.000 It's affecting the way he shits. 0.99

02:11:37.000 He's like holding it in because he knows his boner lasts for six hours. 1.00

02:11:40.000 Another three hours I'll be able to shit. 1.00

02:11:42.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:11:43.000 So one of the stories I've been reading after reading Daniele Bellelli's book, I went back and re-read some of my biographies of Rasputin.

02:11:51.000 You know anything about that guy?

02:11:52.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

02:11:53.000 He had a wart on his dick. 1.00

02:11:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:11:55.000 Freak bastard. 1.00

02:11:56.000 Apparently he had a foot-long dick with a wart at the root of it. 1.00

02:11:59.000 Well, didn't they save it after they killed him? 1.00

02:12:01.000 They did.

02:12:01.000 Yeah.

02:12:03.000 The guy, well, apparently...

02:12:04.000 Just pull it up, Brian. 1.00

02:12:05.000 Rasputin's cock. 1.00

02:12:06.000 Prince Yusupov was apparently... 1.00

02:12:09.000 Tried to make homosexual advances at Rasputin.

02:12:12.000 He wasn't feeling it. 0.97

02:12:13.000 Rasputin was an old, hard-drinking Siberian peasant wizard. 0.99

02:12:16.000 Right.

02:12:17.000 And he liked women.

02:12:18.000 And that was part of the adaptations he made to his religion, is that he always struggled with the fact that you couldn't have sex in Christianity, but he wanted to be a man of deep faith.

02:12:30.000 Brian, it's right there, under Google Images. 0.62

02:12:32.000 Rasputin's cocked.

02:12:33.000 They really do have it. 1.00

02:12:34.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:12:35.000 So, yeah, he... 1.00

02:12:38.000 Oh, God.

02:12:39.000 Put it up.

02:12:40.000 You would go and he'd struggle with it.

02:12:42.000 You're allowed to have that on Ustream.

02:12:43.000 I talked to Brad today.

02:12:44.000 Why is that?

02:12:46.000 It looks like a potato and a banana.

02:12:48.000 Put that up on Ustream, please.

02:12:49.000 Look at that. 0.99

02:12:50.000 That is Rasputin's dick. 0.99

02:12:52.000 But apparently he could basically be like... 1.00

02:12:54.000 That's so fucked up. 0.99

02:12:55.000 So he made an exception in his religion. 1.00

02:12:57.000 He saw some birds singing.

02:12:59.000 This is his story.

02:13:00.000 The birds were singing and they were moved by sexual desire to sing such a beautiful song.

02:13:04.000 And if God made the birds sing to create such a song and bring that out of them, then man's sexual desire must be for the same thing.

02:13:13.000 Had this revelation in the forest, probably eating Amanita muscaria mushrooms.

02:13:16.000 And then apparently he came across three women bathing.

02:13:19.000 And he made love to each of them in turn.

02:13:22.000 And then prayed more clearly than he'd prayed in months.

02:13:25.000 And it was solidified.

02:13:26.000 Yeah, really, because your mind is totally clear.

02:13:29.000 So after that point, he was like, okay, God didn't strike me down and I'm praying better than ever.

02:13:35.000 So he adapted that.

02:13:36.000 To his kind of philosophy, but apparently he was kind of a bit of a hypnotist, wizard, whatever. 0.99

02:13:42.000 I don't know how far you want to go with his powers, but the reports were that he could contract and dilate his pupils at will, like through mental control, so he could do weird shit, and he had a huge dick, and would just cut a swath through all of Russia, just banging everybody. 0.91

02:13:59.000 Saying that, that he was able to dilate his pupils at will, it probably means he was on drugs. 0.97

02:14:02.000 Probably.

02:14:03.000 Yeah, most likely.

02:14:04.000 Probably. 1.00

02:14:05.000 A giant dick dude on drugs. 1.00

02:14:06.000 And look, they didn't cut it off at the end. 1.00

02:14:10.000 Looks like they went in and kind of dug some of the dick out of it. 1.00

02:14:13.000 Yeah, what they had to do to kill him. 0.99

02:14:14.000 So, apparently, this guy used to poke him.

02:14:16.000 It's probably the ball, bro.

02:14:17.000 They're old.

02:14:18.000 A lot of people didn't like him.

02:14:19.000 They hated him. 1.00

02:14:20.000 Yeah, he probably fucked everybody. 1.00

02:14:22.000 There was accusations that he was fucking the Tsarita because he was healing Tsar Nicholas' son. 0.99

02:14:28.000 So all these kind of people were jealous. 0.99

02:14:30.000 At one point, he was having so much sex. 1.00

02:14:33.000 He loved drinking and dancing and fucking. 1.00

02:14:35.000 And he was in this bar and he's all haggard. 0.99

02:14:37.000 And they're like, you're not Rasputin.

02:14:38.000 And he's like...

02:14:39.000 Like, hell I'm not. 1.00

02:14:40.000 And he pulled his pants down and waved his dick around and was like, oh, you're Rasputin. 1.00

02:14:43.000 Okay, whatever. 1.00

02:14:44.000 Damn. 1.00

02:14:44.000 But anyways, this one guy wanted to, Prince Yusupov apparently wanted to have sex with Rasputin. 1.00

02:14:50.000 Rasputin wasn't down with it. 0.88

02:14:51.000 And the tide had kind of turned against him in popular culture and he told his family that he was probably going to die.

02:14:57.000 So they go there, and they start feeding him cyanide cakes, right?

02:15:00.000 And apparently fed him enough cyanide cakes to kill many, many people.

02:15:04.000 But that didn't work.

02:15:06.000 Rasputin got a little bit sick, and then he kept eating the cakes, and he was like, play me some gypsy music, Yusupov, and started dancing. 0.99

02:15:12.000 So they're like, oh, fuck, this isn't working. 0.98

02:15:14.000 So then they took out a gun. 1.00

02:15:17.000 Shot him in his back. 0.99

02:15:18.000 Bam, bam, bam. 1.00

02:15:19.000 Shot him right in the torso in his back. 0.98

02:15:20.000 And apparently he just roared like a bear and stared at him. 0.65

02:15:23.000 So they all freaked out.

02:15:25.000 Started kicking him and stomping him and kicked his head in. 0.71

02:15:28.000 Kicked him so hard that his eyeball fell out. 0.98

02:15:30.000 And just totally beat him to a bloody pulp. 0.99

02:15:33.000 And then wrapped him in a carpet. 0.82

02:15:35.000 Wrapped him in chains and threw him in a frozen river. 1.00

02:15:38.000 And then when they found the body washed up, he didn't die of any of that shit. 1.00

02:15:42.000 He died of drowning because they had... 0.99

02:15:45.000 The water that they saw in his lungs from him gasping for air.

02:15:48.000 Wow. 1.00

02:15:48.000 So whatever the fuck this guy was doing, he was a strong motherfucker. 1.00

02:15:53.000 They were really unhappy with him. 1.00

02:15:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:15:56.000 Dude, his dick was 11 inches. 1.00

02:15:59.000 That's big. 1.00

02:15:59.000 And as thick as most men's wrists. 1.00

02:16:02.000 That's what it says.

02:16:03.000 Apparently the Russian women were all about it. 1.00

02:16:05.000 That is incredible. 0.83

02:16:07.000 The dude was just super gangster.

02:16:09.000 What do you mean it doesn't look that big? 0.78

02:16:10.000 It's bigger than that chick's whole entire head.

02:16:11.000 It's soft.

02:16:12.000 No, it's not.

02:16:13.000 Dude! 1.00

02:16:14.000 Oh, you son of a bitch. 1.00

02:16:16.000 I don't think you're allowed to do that. 1.00

02:16:18.000 Brad from Ustream will frown upon those kind of shenanigans.

02:16:22.000 We don't want to get them in trouble, Brian.

02:16:24.000 Look, I think I found Bigfoot.

02:16:25.000 Look in the jar. 1.00

02:16:26.000 Shut the fuck up, dude! 1.00

02:16:28.000 Stop! 1.00

02:16:34.000 I've been talking to too many Bigfoot people, man.

02:16:37.000 This show has been very fascinating.

02:16:39.000 I'm learning a lot.

02:16:40.000 I can't wait to talk about it, but I can't talk about it yet.

02:16:42.000 But I'm learning a lot.

02:16:44.000 I'm learning a lot about crazy people, son.

02:16:48.000 Sasquatches, too? 1.00

02:16:49.000 Oh, I'm learning a lot about everything.

02:16:51.000 It's all connected.

02:16:53.000 It's all connected.

02:16:55.000 Psychic, Sasquatch, the whole thing.

02:16:58.000 UFOs.

02:16:59.000 Do you shave all your pubes, Joe?

02:17:00.000 No. 1.00

02:17:01.000 No, I shave my balls. 1.00

02:17:03.000 You do shave your balls? 1.00

02:17:04.000 And I trim the upper stack. 1.00

02:17:05.000 Do you put shaving cream on or do you just lightly glide the blade over?

02:17:09.000 I'm glad you asked, Brian.

02:17:10.000 I like to use a double blade razor and defense soap.

02:17:13.000 I lather up the old saccaroon-y. 1.00

02:17:15.000 With soap.

02:17:15.000 Get it nice and primed with soap and then just...

02:17:18.000 The razors of today, you don't need to fucking... 0.99

02:17:21.000 Only two blades, bro. 1.00

02:17:22.000 You can go five blades.

02:17:22.000 I don't know how many blades are on there because I can't count.

02:17:25.000 So I just get in there, whatever it says.

02:17:27.000 You never nick it?

02:17:28.000 Never, son.

02:17:29.000 These razors are so good these days.

02:17:31.000 You're not going to nick it unless you're not paying attention. 1.00

02:17:33.000 What about asshole? 1.00

02:17:34.000 I'll let that go. 1.00

02:17:36.000 Welcome to the jungle.

02:17:38.000 We got fun and games.

02:17:40.000 I don't know what's going on back there.

02:17:41.000 I leave it alone.

02:17:42.000 I wash it whenever possible and ignore it the rest of the time.

02:17:46.000 It's like a squirrel with a bullet wound. 0.66

02:17:48.000 I'm very happy with the balls forward. 0.95

02:17:50.000 Everything back is an outsider.

02:17:51.000 I don't know where it fits in the equation. 1.00

02:17:54.000 Does your shit look like a rake went over it? 1.00

02:17:56.000 My shit usually looks like there's a lot of green in there, like chunks of leafy vegetables, until I gorge on meat, and then it becomes hard and chunky. 1.00

02:18:08.000 Brian, do you think that hairy vaginas are making a comeback? 1.00

02:18:11.000 They are, for sure. 0.97

02:18:12.000 They are, but, I mean, there's two different kinds. 0.99

02:18:15.000 There's the ones that have always had the hairy vagina, and then there's the girls that recently, like, I'm taking care of this and bringing it back because... 1.00

02:18:22.000 There was one recently where it was just like, no, this is like 70s vagina that hasn't been touched since the 70s. 1.00

02:18:29.000 That's a little too much. 0.99

02:18:30.000 Yeah, that's too much. 0.93

02:18:31.000 That's disgusting. 0.82

02:18:32.000 You know what? 0.90

02:18:33.000 I like it completely shaved.

02:18:35.000 Nothing wrong with that either. 1.00

02:18:36.000 It's interesting, though, what a total victory porn has had over the way women take care of their vaginas. 1.00

02:18:42.000 Complete, total victory. 0.99

02:18:44.000 They've internalized the whole philosophy.

02:18:46.000 Well, they had to keep up.

02:18:48.000 They had to compete. 0.99

02:18:49.000 Too many guys were, like, looking at these perfectly shaved vaginas and with girls licking them and, you know, beating off to them. 1.00

02:18:56.000 And then the women catch them, and they're like, ah, this motherfucker likes this shit. 1.00

02:18:59.000 I gotta shave it all down. 1.00

02:19:01.000 And, like, the little Hitler ones that the girls do, that's almost like, hey, you're putting an eyelash or an eyebrow on your pussy. 1.00

02:19:06.000 That's creepier to me than having... 1.00

02:19:08.000 Here's the thing, man.

02:19:09.000 I never had a problem with the Big Bush.

02:19:13.000 You know, when girls started trimming it all down, I was like, yeah, I guess that's better. 1.00

02:19:17.000 But do you remember, like, when you were in high school and girls never shaved it?

02:19:21.000 Yeah.

02:19:21.000 It was always craziness down there.

02:19:23.000 It was chaos down there.

02:19:24.000 And you didn't get upset, you know?

02:19:27.000 You didn't get bummed out. 1.00

02:19:28.000 You remember, like, we'd tell stories, like, dude, all the way up to her asshole. 0.99

02:19:30.000 Just hair everywhere. 1.00

02:19:31.000 Fucking hair all over her back. 1.00

02:19:32.000 And there's a girl that I dated who had hair. 1.00

02:19:34.000 She had hair everywhere. 0.99

02:19:35.000 I mean, it was crazy.

02:19:36.000 She had, like, her lower back was hairy. 0.83

02:19:38.000 Oh. 0.99

02:19:38.000 You know, she was hot as fuck, though, dude. 0.99

02:19:40.000 It didn't matter. 1.00

02:19:41.000 I could not deal with that.

02:19:43.000 Oh, you could have.

02:19:44.000 Trust me.

02:19:44.000 You could have dealt with it.

02:19:45.000 I'm definitely down with the whole hairy, whole thing down there.

02:19:50.000 But then the armpits still and the legs, I can't deal with that yet.

02:19:55.000 I'm not even good with that when I see a little light fuzz on their cheek.

02:19:58.000 You know, when the sunlight hits it right?

02:19:59.000 That creeps me out.

02:20:00.000 But the armpits and like... 0.99

02:20:01.000 Even the hairy legs, not so much, but the armpits still fuck me up a little. 0.98

02:20:04.000 I was friends with a gal who went to an all-girls college in Boston. 0.96

02:20:10.000 I forget which one, but super, she was super left-wing, like the most left-wing person I ever dated. 1.00

02:20:16.000 Like, vegetarian, like full-on.

02:20:18.000 Her friends didn't shave their legs at all.

02:20:20.000 She didn't shave her legs either, but she was blonde, so you couldn't tell. 0.91

02:20:23.000 But her friend looked like a hobbit. 0.99

02:20:25.000 It was the strangest thing ever.

02:20:28.000 I went over to her house, her friend was Greek, and she had hobbit legs. 1.00

02:20:32.000 Her legs were just black with hair and black feet. 1.00

02:20:35.000 And I feel like a complete and total hypocrite to say there's something wrong with that. 1.00

02:20:39.000 Complete, total hypocrite. 0.99

02:20:41.000 It doesn't really fit, right? 1.00

02:20:42.000 It doesn't fit at all.

02:20:43.000 How dare I say anything that's wrong with that?

02:20:48.000 If that's her choice? 0.99

02:20:49.000 But, damn, it was gross. 0.99

02:20:51.000 It didn't matter. 0.99

02:20:53.000 I have no business thinking it's gross. 0.99

02:20:55.000 I'm fucking gross-er, for sure. 0.99

02:20:57.000 But it was gross. 0.99

02:20:58.000 I had to get out of there.

02:20:59.000 It was freaking me out. 0.99

02:21:01.000 It was fucking hairy feet. 0.98

02:21:03.000 It was just so weird. 0.99

02:21:04.000 They were so weird.

02:21:05.000 They were like...

02:21:06.000 They were both...

02:21:07.000 They both came from money.

02:21:08.000 Money and educated parents. 0.99

02:21:10.000 And they were just fucking fighting the power. 0.99

02:21:13.000 Tooth and claw. 0.98

02:21:14.000 And I guess I really appreciate that in a lot of ways.

02:21:17.000 Like, you know, if you have...

02:21:18.000 Really oppressive parents or very strict parents who want you very rigid in their focus.

02:21:23.000 You want to break away from that and like form completely radical opposing opinions.

02:21:29.000 Make a statement.

02:21:30.000 But when the armpit hair starts creeping, like I've been a newbie, it starts creeping over onto the tit, you know? 0.99

02:21:34.000 You ever did a girl with hair on her tits? 1.00

02:21:36.000 Yes. 1.00

02:21:37.000 On the nipples. 0.98

02:21:38.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:21:39.000 Big hair. 0.93

02:21:39.000 So they didn't do a damn thing about it. 0.93

02:21:40.000 But only on the nipples, right? 0.98

02:21:42.000 Yep. 0.99

02:21:43.000 Esther had one.

02:21:44.000 Esther had one really hard.

02:21:45.000 Bringing me back to weird places here now, Joe.

02:21:47.000 Esther had one really long and it got caught between my two front teeth and I plucked and she screamed. 1.00

02:21:52.000 Oh, Jesus, son.

02:21:54.000 That's not true.

02:21:55.000 It is!

02:21:57.000 Wow, you just got called out, son. 1.00

02:21:59.000 You just got called the fuck out. 0.99

02:22:01.000 Now, you need to tell the truth, though. 0.98

02:22:02.000 Is it true or is it not true?

02:22:03.000 Yeah, it's true.

02:22:04.000 Totally true.

02:22:05.000 Somebody is rude for no reason.

02:22:07.000 Just being rude to Brian.

02:22:08.000 Sorry, Brian.

02:22:09.000 I apologize.

02:22:10.000 No perfect person right there. 0.71

02:22:14.000 Alright, let's get the fuck out of here. 0.97

02:22:15.000 It's late. 0.78

02:22:16.000 It's 10.30.

02:22:16.000 I've been working all day, talking to crazy people.

02:22:18.000 And I talked to a senator today about UFOs.

02:22:21.000 Can't wait to tell you, but you're gonna have to.

02:22:25.000 Hey, if anybody hasn't seen any of my latest videos, I just did one on the psychedelic experience.

02:22:30.000 Pretty cool.

02:22:30.000 Please try and check it out.

02:22:31.000 Yeah, you're doing these Jason Silva-inspired...

02:22:34.000 Video pills. 0.99

02:22:35.000 Yeah, and they're fucking good, man. 0.98

02:22:36.000 What was that, the one on the psychedelic experience? 0.98

02:22:38.000 Yeah, it's just called the psychedelic experience.

02:22:40.000 It's vimeo.com slash warriorpoetus, and you can...

02:22:43.000 Check them out.

02:22:44.000 It's fun.

02:22:44.000 That's a very good one.

02:22:45.000 It's very fun.

02:22:46.000 I enjoy it very much.

02:22:48.000 I like that you're doing that, too, man.

02:22:49.000 And it's really easy to criticize those things.

02:22:51.000 It's really easy to mock them and make fun of.

02:22:53.000 And if you were in front of me when you did it, I probably would have mocked you a little bit.

02:22:57.000 But it's not that it's not good.

02:22:59.000 Just trying to put some info out there.

02:23:01.000 You're putting the right vibes out there. 0.99

02:23:03.000 And that's the problem with the right vibes, is they've been co-opted by silly douchebags. 0.99

02:23:07.000 So if you get in that mix, that energy, vibe, love mix, You can, you know, immediately, like, what? 1.00

02:23:13.000 Bitch, what are you doing? 1.00

02:23:14.000 What are you trying to do over there? 1.00

02:23:15.000 Are you starting a cult? 1.00

02:23:16.000 Are you a shaman, you fuckhead? 1.00

02:23:18.000 You know, it's like, no, you're trying to do the right thing, but there's so many people that aren't, that are mixed up in the same vein. 0.99

02:23:24.000 That's why, I mean, I hear going to Burning Man's a lot of fun. 0.92

02:23:28.000 Good fucking luck with that. 0.92

02:23:30.000 Good luck with that, because there's at least 10 dudes there that you do not ever want to be stuck talking to. 0.99

02:23:35.000 And they're in a tent right next to you.

02:23:37.000 There's at least 10 dudes.

02:23:39.000 10 dudes out of 20, I would say, at least.

02:23:41.000 Let's be super generous.

02:23:42.000 If Burning Man has 50,000 people, I don't know how many people it has. 0.73

02:23:46.000 If it has 50,000 people and 10 of them are just insufferable twats, why would you go? 0.74

02:23:52.000 Right?

02:23:53.000 Maybe, because ten of them are impossible inspirations.

02:23:57.000 But the people that go to Bram, man, I know so many cool people that go. 0.87

02:23:59.000 There's a lot of fucking cool people. 0.93

02:24:01.000 Ram Hancock goes. 0.99

02:24:02.000 So you figure those guys balance out the cunts? 0.85

02:24:06.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:24:07.000 If you could stay with them.

02:24:08.000 Stick close to the herd.

02:24:09.000 Don't stray.

02:24:10.000 That just sounds like a lot of it.

02:24:11.000 It's pretty intense.

02:24:12.000 Just dust everywhere. 1.00

02:24:13.000 Fuck that. 1.00

02:24:14.000 No sandwiches. 1.00

02:24:16.000 Bartering for everything.

02:24:18.000 Probably awesome.

02:24:19.000 We've never gone. 1.00

02:24:19.000 How can we talk about this shit? 1.00

02:24:21.000 We're talking shit about something we never did. 1.00

02:24:22.000 We gotta go. 0.99

02:24:23.000 I'm sorry.

02:24:24.000 I'm sorry.

02:24:25.000 Listen, all of you people out there enjoying Burning Man, why are you listening to the Fear Factor guy? 0.99

02:24:30.000 Okay, make up your own mind about shit. 0.99

02:24:32.000 I don't even believe what I say. 1.00

02:24:34.000 I'm just trying to fill three hours and entertain you in some way.

02:24:38.000 And if you're tired of me, I'm tired of me too.

02:24:40.000 So it's okay.

02:24:41.000 We're good to go. 0.99

02:25:05.000 Go and check out all the cool new shit we have. 0.87

02:25:07.000 If you haven't been there for a while, we got a lot of new stuff. 0.98

02:25:10.000 A lot of food, killer bee honey, because it's gangster.

02:25:15.000 Total human optimization, that's the goal.

02:25:17.000 And thanks to all the customers out there. 1.00

02:25:18.000 You guys are some bad motherfuckers. 0.99

02:25:21.000 You're great people. 0.99

02:25:21.000 I've really enjoyed interacting with all you guys, and I just hope that we can continue to be... 0.99

02:25:25.000 Some small part in pushing you towards whatever your masterpiece of life is going to be.

02:25:31.000 Whatever is going to help you be better.

02:25:32.000 I hope we can just play that small part and I certainly appreciate all the support we've had.

02:25:36.000 It's been amazing.

02:25:37.000 A massive amount of positive people.

02:25:39.000 Absolutely.

02:25:39.000 You put it out there and it comes back to you.

02:25:41.000 That's it.

02:25:41.000 That's why...

02:25:42.000 Whatever.

02:25:43.000 That's it, folks. 0.98

02:25:44.000 We love the fuck out of you. 0.95

02:25:45.000 That's all we're trying to say. 0.95

02:25:46.000 Much love.

02:25:46.000 A bunch of fancy words.

02:25:48.000 It's just really this.

02:25:49.000 And a hug.

02:25:50.000 We love you.

02:25:51.000 Check me out on Facebook.

02:25:52.000 I'm super active on there.

02:25:53.000 So if you want to talk to me, hit me up on Facebook.

02:25:55.000 Facebook.com slash WarriorPoetUS.

02:25:57.000 And Twitter, it's WarriorPoetUS on Twitter as well.

02:26:01.000 All right, you freaks. 0.96

02:26:02.000 We love the shit out of you, and we will see you soon. 0.99

02:26:05.000 Peace!

02:26:06.000 Bye-bye.

The Joe Rogan Experience - June 12, 2013

Joe Rogan Experience #367 - Aubrey Marcus

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript