The Joe Rogan Experience - November 27, 2013


Joe Rogan Experience #421 - Christopher Ryan

Topics
Carbonite backup offer defense soap deer hunting vaginas murse alloparenting competition Civilized to Death deer hunting raising a vegan child freedom and happiness Isolation and community love for each other comfort and numbness property tax nonsense Eustace Conway dilemma weather Alcan Highway trip to Alaska Moab beauty driftless area hunting trip weather hoaxing receipt embalming tradition keyboard layout
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Christopher Ryan
Mentioned
Ting Bring Duncan Brian Callen Lamb Rogan Josh Chris Ryan Down Moab Dude Shaq Greg Fitzsimmons Daniele Bolelli Steve Rinella Werner Herzog Edward Abbey Woody Allen Carl Hart Joey Diaz Rob Ford Darwin Paulo Coelho Lay Lady Lay and 86 more
Joe Rogan Experience #419 - Lorenzo Hagerty (Part 2) Joe Rogan Experience #424 - Brody Stevens

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 50 minutes

Words per minute

189.67

Word count

32,301

Sentence count

3,569

Harmful content

Misogyny

149

sentences flagged

Toxicity

860

sentences flagged

Hate speech

92

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast, the host talks about the dangers of losing your laptop on the road, and why you should always have it with you when you travel. He also talks about a new cell phone service called Ting, and how you can save $25 on any Sprint or AT&T phone purchase. And he talks about why he thinks it's a good idea to have your own device on the go. It's the perfect Thanksgiving gift to yourself, and it's also the perfect gift to your friends and family. You don't want to miss it! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our companies. We do not own the rights to any music used in this episode. All credit goes to original artists and labels. If you like what you hear here, please leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. It helps us to keep pushing the podcast out there and spreading the word about what we're doing it. Thank you! -Jon Sorrentino - The O.J.R.E. Podcast - Thank you Jon Rocha Experience Podcast. - Our theme song is Come Alone by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records, and our ad music is by Lotuspool. . This episode was produced and edited by Kevin McElton Brown, and the music was produced by Jeff Perla, and is available on SoundCloud, and we did not-so-much, but we're working on this week, so please be sure to send us your feedback. , and we appreciate the feedback is appreciated, and your feedback is also appreciated, so we can help us make the podcast better, too. -- Thank you, thank you, and you can have a say in the podcast more than that, and send us a review and a review, too, and more of that's great, we'll get it out on the next one in the next week! -- and we'll send it out to us -- we'll hear it out next week, we're looking out there, and they'll get back to you, more of it next week -- thank you! -- and more next week. -- -- thanks, Jon and Sarah, Sarah, and much more! --

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:03.000 Hello, freaks. 1.00
00:00:04.000 These people that are hearing this right now, there they go.
00:00:07.000 That's it.
00:00:07.000 People are waiting.
00:00:08.000 They're like, what the fuck, dude? 0.99
00:00:09.000 It's late. 1.00
00:00:11.000 Exactly.
00:00:11.000 That's how it goes, folks.
00:00:13.000 We don't guarantee you we're going to start at a certain time.
00:00:16.000 Just relax.
00:00:17.000 Leave it on the background.
00:00:19.000 We're trying to get you to take it less seriously.
00:00:21.000 This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by Carbonite.com.
00:00:26.000 Thanksgiving's almost here.
00:00:27.000 It's the busiest travel time of the year.
00:00:29.000 But did you know that about 12,000 laptops are lost every week at U.S. airports? 0.98
00:00:34.000 That sucks a fat one.
00:00:36.000 And if you're traveling, make sure your computer is backed up With Carbonite Online Backup. 1.00
00:00:41.000 It's nice, it's easy, it's idiot-proof.
00:00:44.000 So that means someone like me can use it.
00:00:46.000 All you need to do is set it up and Carbonite will automatically back up your important computer files to the cloud.
00:00:53.000 And continuously, no matter how many computers your business has or where they're located, or you can do it as an individual.
00:00:59.000 You don't have to be a business to do this.
00:01:00.000 Easy to set up with each computer and you get peace of mind that your computer files, I don't know what that other word was, But computer files, is what I meant to say, are always safe.
00:01:10.000 I have Carbonite.
00:01:11.000 We use it here on the podcast to back shit up. 0.82
00:01:14.000 It's super easy to do.
00:01:15.000 And if you go to Carbonite.com today, type in the offer code JRE and get a free trial.
00:01:21.000 No credit card required, plus two bonus free months with your subscriptions.
00:01:26.000 That's Carbonite.com.
00:01:28.000 Offer code is J-R-E. It's an excellent service, and it's always smart to be backed up, freaks.
00:01:34.000 Just in case. 0.99
00:01:35.000 Some important shit. 1.00
00:01:37.000 That laptop shit's real. 1.00
00:01:38.000 I know a girl that bought a brand new MacBook. 1.00
00:01:40.000 Seriously, the second day she went to go travel, and she put it in that thing, that little slot where the magazines are, left it there.
00:01:47.000 Came back like 20 minutes later, it was gone.
00:01:49.000 Not only that, they never find those things.
00:01:51.000 Wink, wink.
00:01:53.000 Winkity, wink, wink. 1.00
00:01:54.000 Those fucks. 1.00
00:01:55.000 Not all of them, but you know who you are. 1.00
00:01:57.000 We're also brought to you by Ting.com, rogan.ting.com specifically.
00:02:02.000 Ting is a cell phone service that uses a Sprint backbone, but they rent time on it and use their own rules.
00:02:08.000 It's a much more ethical, easy, simple, and fair way of distributing cell phone service.
00:02:14.000 First of all, they have no contracts or early termination fees.
00:02:18.000 If you don't like it anymore, you just get out.
00:02:20.000 And it's Sprint.
00:02:21.000 It's an excellent service.
00:02:22.000 It's not like it's some new startup that doesn't have a lot of towers.
00:02:25.000 They use all Sprint service, but they do it in a different way.
00:02:29.000 They give you credit on unused service.
00:02:31.000 If you use less than you thought you would, Ting drops you down And credits you the difference on your next bill.
00:02:37.000 That's a beautiful thing.
00:02:39.000 I love that.
00:02:40.000 I love that a company says, look, people don't mind paying for stuff.
00:02:44.000 I think everybody's established that capitalism, you know, in its core idea, not as far as like the way our economic system is set up, of course.
00:02:52.000 But the idea of, I give you money for something.
00:02:55.000 I work, I get money.
00:02:56.000 Like, these ideas are pretty clean as long as there's morality attached to it and ethics attached to it. 0.99
00:03:02.000 And businesses can choose to put in termination fees and choose to make you pay more for shit than you have to. 1.00
00:03:08.000 Or they can choose to fuck you, basically. 1.00
00:03:10.000 That's what they're doing. 1.00
00:03:11.000 And when a company like Ting comes along that's not trying to fuck you, I like it. 0.98
00:03:16.000 Because I think it gives people a better sense of what they're dealing with. 0.98
00:03:20.000 It gives you, you know, you feel good about it. 1.00
00:03:22.000 You don't feel like you're getting fucked over by some big giant asshole company that's just sucking money out of the world. 0.98
00:03:28.000 And if you have a Sprint iPhone 4 or a Sprint iPhone 4S, you can port them over to Ting right now, along with bringing over the Nexus 5. It's part of their Bring Your Own Device offering. 0.99
00:03:41.000 So go to rogan.ting.com and save $25 off of any of their new groovy phones or service.
00:03:50.000 Rogan.ting.com.
00:03:52.000 We're also brought to you by Onnit.com.
00:03:55.000 That's O-N-N-I-T.com. 1.00
00:04:10.000 It's a very big sale for Onnit every year and they go crazy with it.
00:04:17.000 There's a lot of serious...
00:04:19.000 Money to be saved.
00:04:21.000 For instance, I think...
00:04:23.000 People are already tinting, like lined up for Black Friday at Best Buy.
00:04:29.000 Yeah, Black Friday is weird.
00:04:30.000 It's a very weird thing.
00:04:31.000 I'm not sure I agree with it.
00:04:33.000 As far as like, I definitely don't agree with getting in line and waiting in stores.
00:04:37.000 Because I feel like, what is your time worth?
00:04:40.000 Isn't it worth something?
00:04:41.000 It's one thing if you're ordering it online. 0.98
00:04:42.000 But if you're waiting and then you're there with a bunch of other assholes who are there because it's an event and it becomes a game... 0.98
00:04:49.000 Yeah, and it's not much cheaper. 0.86
00:04:50.000 Like, if you go to Best Buy, you're going to save an extra $30 than what it would be at Amazon, and then, you know, half these companies online, you'll have to pay tax, which, so that $30, you could just, you know, save with no tax. 0.60
00:05:01.000 Yeah, and meanwhile, you're going to have to use that money to get your teeth fixed, because someone's going to fucking elbow you in the face while you reach for that laptop that they want. 0.99
00:05:08.000 People are crazy. 0.99
00:05:09.000 On Amazon.com, I love ordering shit online because you don't have to do... 1.00
00:05:17.000 I do half of my shopping is on Amazon.com. 1.00
00:05:20.000 It's so easy to order shit online. 0.95
00:05:22.000 But the idea of going to Best Buy, I don't want to do that unless something's wrong. 0.99
00:05:27.000 I don't want to go to a place.
00:05:29.000 I don't want to go to Fry's unless something's really wrong. 0.99
00:05:31.000 I need some shit right now. 1.00
00:05:32.000 Because otherwise, fuck going... 1.00
00:05:34.000 That's one of the things I love about Stamps.com and those kind of services. 0.99
00:05:38.000 Like, I don't want to go anywhere.
00:05:40.000 I don't want to have to go to your place.
00:05:41.000 Why can't we work this out while I do this at home?
00:05:44.000 Anyway, at Onnit, we're offering 25% off of all supplements.
00:05:47.000 55% off, excuse me, 15%.
00:05:50.000 Off foods and 10% off fitness and packages.
00:05:54.000 Plus an additional 5% of orders over $150 and 10% off of orders over $250.
00:06:02.000 So for big orders, it's like 35% off supplements and 20% off fitness equipment.
00:06:07.000 It's pretty powerful.
00:06:09.000 It's a serious deal. 0.99
00:06:10.000 And on it, if you haven't been there for a while, we have a lot of new shit. 0.96
00:06:13.000 We try to carry new things every month that we find that we think are interesting. 0.95
00:06:17.000 We just started carrying defense soap.
00:06:19.000 Yeah, I need to I've got to bring you in something.
00:06:22.000 Remind me on Friday and I'll bring it in. 0.53
00:06:24.000 Or I'll bring it tonight and you can wash your mouth out with soap after you tell your dirty jokes at the ice house.
00:06:30.000 Defense soap is an amazing soap that keeps bacteria off of your body, bad bacteria, but it keeps healthy flora on your skin. 0.51
00:06:38.000 It's all natural ingredients like tea tree oil and eucalyptus oil.
00:06:43.000 It smells good.
00:06:44.000 It's completely organic.
00:06:45.000 It doesn't smell like...
00:06:46.000 I was at this deer hunting thing this weekend, and they had regular soap.
00:06:53.000 I washed myself with regular soap once.
00:06:55.000 And then I luckily brought defense soap with me.
00:06:58.000 Because some people, they have stinky deodorant soap. 0.99
00:07:01.000 So you're basically washing yourself with a fucking ball of... 0.99
00:07:08.000 It's cologne. 1.00
00:07:09.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:07:10.000 I mean, it's fucking cologne. 0.99
00:07:10.000 You can call it deodorant soap all you want. 0.99
00:07:13.000 That shit's cologne. 1.00
00:07:14.000 You're covering yourself with some shit that doesn't smell like you. 1.00
00:07:17.000 I know. 1.00
00:07:17.000 I have Axe Body Wash. 1.00
00:07:19.000 And I have one that right now I bought.
00:07:21.000 But I'm not going to throw it away, but it smells like I'm Persian when I wear it. 0.92
00:07:23.000 For the first hour, I smell like I have really shitty... 0.93
00:07:27.000 Like polo cologne on when I go out. 1.00
00:07:29.000 Yeah, that shit's whack. 1.00
00:07:30.000 I refuse that stuff just for their goddamn commercials. 1.00
00:07:35.000 Why are you treating me like I'm that stupid? 1.00
00:07:37.000 I know there's people that are that stupid out there, but reach higher, you bitches. 1.00
00:07:41.000 Actually, they probably know their target market because those are the only people dumb enough. 1.00
00:07:43.000 Excuse me, Brian, pardon me. 1.00
00:07:45.000 To order that shit. 0.99
00:07:47.000 I just haven't had... 1.00
00:07:48.000 I switched to body wash lately.
00:07:51.000 With the little woof-a or poof-a. 0.55
00:07:53.000 Well, actually, Defense Soap sells body wash, too.
00:07:55.000 Did they really?
00:07:56.000 Yeah, I don't think we have it on Oni.com yet.
00:07:58.000 But if you go to defensesoap.com, I know they have it.
00:08:02.000 He sent me some before.
00:08:03.000 Yeah, it's great stuff.
00:08:04.000 And it's healthy.
00:08:06.000 It all came out of wrestling because in wrestling a lot of people get bacterial infections.
00:08:10.000 They get staph infections from their skin from getting scratched on the mats and then dirty mats.
00:08:15.000 And also ringworm.
00:08:16.000 Ringworm is pretty common.
00:08:18.000 And a lot of times people wash with antibacterial soap and that's the wrong approach.
00:08:22.000 When you're doing that, what you're doing is you're killing everything, man.
00:08:25.000 The good stuff too.
00:08:26.000 It's like when you take antibiotics.
00:08:28.000 We have a real problem with over-prescribing antibiotics.
00:08:31.000 Antibiotics are very useful, don't get me wrong.
00:08:33.000 I mean, if you've got a staph infection or if you've got fucking Lyme disease or something like that, antibiotics could save your life for sure.
00:08:40.000 It's an amazing invention of fantastic human minds.
00:08:44.000 But the reality is there's other ways to approach it, and the holistic way to approach it is to keep your skin healthy and clean and keep the healthy bacteria That actually fight off bad bacteria. 0.99
00:08:56.000 Keep that shit active. 0.96
00:08:57.000 That's why I've always preached the benefits of probiotics. 1.00
00:09:01.000 I drink kombucha tea every day.
00:09:05.000 I like the taste, but there's these floating pieces of fungus in it that feel like an elephant just jerked off in your soda.
00:09:14.000 It's like a beer-y, soda-y thing.
00:09:17.000 I remember Marc Maron is clean and sober. 0.99
00:09:21.000 He had a kombucha and he tweeted on Twitter, am I drinking fucking beer? 0.99
00:09:26.000 What's going on here? 0.99
00:09:27.000 This is before they started taking them out of Whole Foods.
00:09:31.000 Esther got drunk, remember?
00:09:33.000 She doesn't drink.
00:09:34.000 She had two of them and she was like, blah, blah, blah, like slurring words and everything. 0.99
00:09:38.000 There's less than 1% alcohol.
00:09:40.000 She said she was.
00:09:41.000 Yeah, I don't buy that.
00:09:43.000 If it's more than one half of 1%, now they have to market, and it has to be sold as alcohol.
00:09:49.000 Because they were using bottles, apparently, that allowed them to continue fermenting.
00:09:55.000 So if they had been on the shelves for a couple months, they got stronger and stronger and stronger as time went on.
00:10:00.000 Fantastic for your health, though.
00:10:01.000 Amazing for your immune system.
00:10:03.000 It's really some special stuff.
00:10:04.000 Have you heard about fecal transplants?
00:10:07.000 Yes!
00:10:07.000 Isn't that wild?
00:10:08.000 Isn't that crazy? 1.00
00:10:09.000 They take poop in my butt? 1.00
00:10:10.000 Yeah, they take poop and they put it in your butt or in your colon. 1.00
00:10:13.000 If you're lacking certain bacterial things that are supposed to live in your gut, gut bacteria, like E. coli, actually. 0.95
00:10:23.000 Intestinal flora.
00:10:24.000 Yeah, intestinal flora is the nice way of saying it.
00:10:27.000 But save people.
00:10:28.000 Save people from serious diseases. 0.99
00:10:30.000 From shit that was... 1.00
00:10:31.000 Sorry, shit. 1.00
00:10:31.000 Shit. 1.00
00:10:32.000 Stuff that was completely uncurable in any other way. 1.00
00:10:35.000 It's like, you're fucked. 1.00
00:10:37.000 Unless you squirt this shit up your ass. 1.00
00:10:39.000 I don't know how they do it. 1.00
00:10:40.000 Eat it or something.
00:10:41.000 No.
00:10:42.000 Eat it!
00:10:44.000 Psych!
00:10:44.000 It doesn't help anything.
00:10:45.000 I just wanted to film this.
00:10:48.000 No, it's really simple.
00:10:50.000 They just take some from someone who's got the flora that they want a little bit, put it in the blender or, you know, some hospital thing, mix it up and squirt that right up.
00:10:58.000 You've heard of the Vice documentary about poop wine that Chinese, I think, do it, where they make wine out of a kid's poop that's, like, seven years old or something like that? 1.00
00:11:07.000 I have heard that. 0.79
00:11:08.000 And I've also seen where they boil eggs and pee, young boys' pee, virgin boys' pee. 0.95
00:11:14.000 Seriously?
00:11:14.000 Yeah, they prefer, like, boys under the age of 11 or something like that.
00:11:18.000 Whoa.
00:11:19.000 Yeah.
00:11:20.000 I saw a thing the other day.
00:11:21.000 I don't know if it was Vice, but it was a thing about people going around the streets, take up the manhole cover, and they've got these big, long spoons, and they grab the stuff that's caught in the filter, right, in the strainer, and it's all this, like, fatty, gelatinous, horrible, like,
00:11:36.000 big luger is basically what it is.
00:11:38.000 And then they take it out to their plant in the countryside, boil it down, and sell it as cooking oil.
00:11:44.000 Oh.
00:11:45.000 And they estimated that 10% of the cooking oil in China contains this stuff.
00:11:50.000 Oh my god.
00:11:52.000 Yeah, Brian Cowan was telling me that when he was in China, he was with his family, and his mom said that when they were at this restaurant, she noticed that they had pig styes underneath the building.
00:12:04.000 And she was trying to figure out what was going on.
00:12:06.000 And Brian was like, why are they living under the building?
00:12:09.000 She goes, I suspect that they're the sewage system here.
00:12:12.000 And the heat.
00:12:14.000 It's traditional that they had the body heat of the animals.
00:12:18.000 In China and other Asian countries, they would typically have them under the house, so it would heat the house in the winter.
00:12:25.000 And sewage. 0.99
00:12:27.000 I have shit into the eager face of a pig, now that you mention it. 1.00
00:12:30.000 How dare you? 1.00
00:12:32.000 Do you know that PETA listens?
00:12:34.000 They're here. 0.93
00:12:35.000 The pig was asking for it, all right? 0.98
00:12:38.000 Oh, Jesus. 0.99
00:12:38.000 No, seriously. 0.99
00:12:39.000 This was on a long bus ride in Sumatra, in Indonesia, right?
00:12:43.000 And you get, you know, it's one of these 20-hour bus rides, and you stop, and, you know, all the buses stop in the same place, and they got the quick food and the shitters.
00:12:51.000 Big, long line of shitters.
00:12:52.000 And I go up, and it's squat toilets, right? 0.88
00:12:55.000 It's just a hole.
00:12:56.000 No plumbing or anything. 1.00
00:12:58.000 And I look through the hole and there are all these pigs down there just looking up with shit all over their faces. 1.00
00:13:03.000 Oh my god. 1.00
00:13:06.000 Oh my god. 1.00
00:13:08.000 And you just happily shit right in their face. 1.00
00:13:10.000 It was hard to relax, but I was traveling. 0.99
00:13:13.000 I had a certain urgency. 1.00
00:13:16.000 What the fuck? 1.00
00:13:17.000 Anyway, we don't sell shit or pigs at Onnit.com. 0.99
00:13:20.000 But if you use the code name ROGAN, you'll save 10% off any and all supplements. 0.98
00:13:23.000 And of course, this week is the big Black Friday sale.
00:13:27.000 And as I described it, 25% off supplements, 15% off foods, 10% off fitness equipment and packages, plus an additional 5% off...
00:13:37.000 Orders over $150 and 10% off orders over $250.
00:13:42.000 So that's this Friday.
00:13:44.000 We're getting crazy at Onnit.com.
00:13:47.000 Lots of new stuff in it, Onnit, as far as products like Digest Tech Enzymes and Zombie Kettlebells to go along with the Gorilla and Ape Kettlebells.
00:13:57.000 Onnit 180, a nutrient-based rejuvenating drink mix designed to help your body recover from jet lag or from getting your freak on.
00:14:05.000 And of course, AlphaBrain.
00:14:06.000 Use the codename ROGAN. Save 10% or go this weekend and save a fuckload more.
00:14:11.000 Alright, freaks. 0.98
00:14:11.000 Dr. Chris Ryan is here. 0.98
00:14:14.000 And let's get this party rolling.
00:14:21.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:14:23.000 Train by day.
00:14:24.000 Joe Rogan Podcast by night.
00:14:26.000 All day. 1.00
00:14:30.000 When a man tells you that he's shit into a pig's mouth, you look at him differently forevermore. 1.00
00:14:37.000 You look at bacon differently. 1.00
00:14:40.000 Well, I want to go hunting pigs.
00:14:44.000 I'm going to do that soon.
00:14:45.000 I think I'm going to go do that this January.
00:14:47.000 You ever read Michael Pollan's essay about hunting wild boar in Sonoma?
00:14:52.000 No.
00:14:52.000 That's an excellent essay.
00:14:53.000 I think it might be in The Omnibor's Dilemma, or maybe it was published separately.
00:14:58.000 I don't remember where I came across it.
00:15:00.000 Sonoma's a big area for them. 0.95
00:15:01.000 Northern California has a huge issue with pigs. 0.91
00:15:05.000 Yeah, in Spain.
00:15:06.000 There are wild boars all over the place.
00:15:08.000 Did you know that wild pigs and domestic pigs, like wild boars, like those crazy-looking evil boars, they're the same animal.
00:15:16.000 The exact same animal.
00:15:17.000 Really?
00:15:18.000 No species difference?
00:15:20.000 No, no, no.
00:15:20.000 According to Steve Rinella, it's the exact same animal.
00:15:23.000 Steve Rinella is, without a doubt, the biggest animal expert that I know.
00:15:27.000 He's the host of Meteor, that hunting TV show.
00:15:29.000 I just got done hunting with him in Wisconsin for deer. 0.99
00:15:33.000 Which are fucking everywhere. 0.99
00:15:35.000 Oh my god. 0.99
00:15:36.000 You know, people that worry about deer hunters and what deer hunt...
00:15:39.000 You're like, that's evil, it's cruel.
00:15:42.000 People have no idea how many deer there are.
00:15:44.000 These guys, they're asking to kill deer.
00:15:46.000 They have to make extra days.
00:15:48.000 There's no predators, exactly.
00:15:49.000 There's coyotes, which kill the fawns, and they kill wounded animals.
00:15:54.000 Like, an animal gets wounded, but man...
00:15:56.000 Well, I grew up in Pennsylvania where there are no coyotes, right?
00:15:59.000 So there were no predators.
00:16:00.000 There were like two mountain lions still in the mountains somewhere.
00:16:03.000 But they're everywhere.
00:16:05.000 Everywhere.
00:16:05.000 I mean, I've hit four or five deer in a car.
00:16:07.000 Yeah.
00:16:08.000 And I moved out of there when I was 17, so that's two years of driving.
00:16:11.000 My folks used to live in Harrisburg.
00:16:13.000 Oh, really?
00:16:13.000 Yeah.
00:16:14.000 Yeah, mine too.
00:16:14.000 We couldn't drive at night.
00:16:16.000 Yeah.
00:16:16.000 If you drive at night, you better go 10 miles an hour.
00:16:18.000 Yeah.
00:16:18.000 Seriously.
00:16:18.000 Because they were everywhere.
00:16:19.000 They were in their driveway.
00:16:21.000 They eat your marijuana plants. 1.00
00:16:23.000 How dare those cunts. 1.00
00:16:24.000 They eat flowers, too. 0.99
00:16:25.000 They love roses.
00:16:26.000 Wow, I had a crazy dream that I just remembered because of that, that I brought a bunch of roses in for a friend to eat, and he was eating them, telling me how fantastic they were.
00:16:36.000 And I was just taking it for granted.
00:16:38.000 I didn't want to eat these roses at all, but I got them for him.
00:16:41.000 What a strange dream.
00:16:43.000 Valentine's Day.
00:16:43.000 But it wasn't like roses like a bouquet with the leaves and everything.
00:16:47.000 It was like a plate, almost like a tray that you would get at Wendy's, one of those fast food trays.
00:16:53.000 Stacked up with roses on it.
00:16:55.000 You served a man roses.
00:16:56.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:16:57.000 It was like, hey man, I got you some roses.
00:16:58.000 You could eat these.
00:16:59.000 He's like, yeah, try.
00:17:00.000 They're fantastic.
00:17:00.000 And I remember trying one.
00:17:01.000 I'm like, man, I don't get it.
00:17:04.000 Sounds like American beauty. 0.99
00:17:05.000 It's a fucking strange dream, man. 0.99
00:17:07.000 And the fact that I just remembered it when you said that. 0.99
00:17:10.000 Yeah.
00:17:10.000 Like, deer eating things.
00:17:11.000 Let's see what else we'll knock loose. 1.00
00:17:14.000 Yeah, dreams are a motherfucker, man. 1.00
00:17:16.000 They're so weird how, like, in the middle of the day, you're like, oh, yeah, that was from my fucking dream. 1.00
00:17:20.000 Like, why can't I remember that? 0.83
00:17:22.000 What is the mechanism?
00:17:23.000 Have they ever figured that out?
00:17:24.000 Yeah, there's a chemical that your brain releases that erases memories.
00:17:29.000 What is it?
00:17:30.000 As you're waking up.
00:17:31.000 I don't remember the name of the chemical.
00:17:32.000 But there's another one that stops you from moving, right?
00:17:34.000 So you won't hurt yourself.
00:17:36.000 It disconnects your volition from your body.
00:17:39.000 And that's why you have those night terrors, you know, where you're like, you hear someone come in, but you can't move.
00:17:46.000 You ever have those?
00:17:47.000 No, you think that's what it is, but it's really aliens, bro.
00:17:49.000 Could be aliens. 1.00
00:17:50.000 It's fucking aliens, alright, man? 1.00
00:17:52.000 What is it with aliens and anal probes? 1.00
00:17:55.000 Well, I think it's bullshit. 1.00
00:17:58.000 That's what I think it is. 1.00
00:17:59.000 And I think people who are crazy are worried about their ass all the time. 0.99
00:18:02.000 I'm worried someone's going to put something in there. 0.99
00:18:04.000 What's the name of the singer who used to be married to the bike?
00:18:09.000 I'm sorry.
00:18:10.000 Lance Armstrong.
00:18:10.000 Lance Armstrong, the singer.
00:18:11.000 Sheryl Crow.
00:18:12.000 Sheryl Crow.
00:18:13.000 Sheryl Crow.
00:18:13.000 Do you know this weird Sheryl Crow alien thing?
00:18:15.000 No.
00:18:16.000 Okay.
00:18:17.000 I may be the only person in the world who's ever noticed this, but she's got a record that came out, and there are two songs on the record.
00:18:25.000 There's one called Maybe Angels.
00:18:27.000 And it's about, the lyrics are like, my bags are packed if they ever come for me.
00:18:32.000 You know, I know my sister, she knew Elvis.
00:18:35.000 And so all this kind of like, it's sung from the perspective of someone who's waiting for aliens to come and take her away, right?
00:18:42.000 And then there's another song on the record called Heaven's Gate, which is, I don't really know what that song's about.
00:18:50.000 Months after this record came out...
00:18:53.000 The Heaven's Gate cult in San Diego all killed themselves because they thought that there were aliens behind the comet, the Hale-Bopp comet, that was coming to take them away.
00:19:03.000 They all had the same sneakers on.
00:19:04.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:19:05.000 They were all wearing Nikes, I think, right?
00:19:07.000 Purple Nikes or something like that?
00:19:08.000 And, you know, one of the people in that sect was the nephew of Lieutenant Uhuru from Star Trek.
00:19:14.000 Whoa.
00:19:14.000 It's weird.
00:19:15.000 But anyway, that happened after she released this record.
00:19:19.000 So, I mean, that's pretty weird.
00:19:21.000 You've got a song about aliens coming to take you away and another song called Heaven's Gate.
00:19:25.000 Well, maybe it was about that Warren Beatty movie that was really terrible.
00:19:28.000 That was a bomb, yeah.
00:19:29.000 Maybe she was like a Warren Beatty fan when she was younger or something like that.
00:19:32.000 I've thought of that as an alternative hypothesis.
00:19:34.000 Didn't she just have butt cancer, too? 1.00
00:19:36.000 Oh.
00:19:36.000 From a pro?
00:19:37.000 She did?
00:19:38.000 Yeah, didn't she just survive?
00:19:39.000 Really?
00:19:39.000 No, she had breast cancer, I believe.
00:19:41.000 I don't think it was butt cancer.
00:19:42.000 Girls don't get butt cancer as much as they get breast cancer. 1.00
00:19:46.000 Breasts are apparently very vulnerable to cancer.
00:19:49.000 Yeah.
00:19:50.000 Well, you know why?
00:19:51.000 Why?
00:19:51.000 No.
00:19:51.000 Because the cells replicate much more often and much more quickly in breast tissue than in other tissue.
00:19:57.000 Oh, which makes sense because they have to in order to swell up and morph and become milk bags.
00:20:02.000 Yeah.
00:20:03.000 Ovaries, too, right?
00:20:04.000 You think about ovaries every month.
00:20:06.000 And ovarian cancer, another very common cancer.
00:20:09.000 That's fascinating.
00:20:09.000 I mean, here's another angle on this that I'm working into this book I'm writing.
00:20:15.000 Think about how many times a woman menstruated before agriculture. 0.82
00:20:20.000 Ew! 0.98
00:20:20.000 I don't want to. 0.98
00:20:21.000 Now you made me.
00:20:22.000 Okay.
00:20:23.000 So a woman became fertile at 18 or 19 because they had low body fat, so they menstruated later, whereas now girls are menstruating at 8, 9, 10 years of age. 0.95
00:20:34.000 But the sort of typical hunter-gatherer human thing starts around 18. They'd be having sex before then, but there was no consequences because they weren't ovulating.
00:20:43.000 So they got roped into sex.
00:20:45.000 That's the trick.
00:20:46.000 Well, I don't know about—well, anyway, so just to follow this line. 0.69
00:20:50.000 So they start having sex.
00:20:53.000 They get pregnant. 0.91
00:20:53.000 They have a kid. 0.91
00:20:55.000 They breastfeed for two and a half, three years typically, right?
00:20:58.000 So that's a period of like four years when they're not ovulating.
00:21:01.000 Because women typically don't ovulate when they're breastfeeding, especially if they have low body fat. 1.00
00:21:06.000 And then, okay, they start ovulating again, they might ovulate a dozen times, they get pregnant again, another kid, and so on.
00:21:12.000 So you add it all up, you find that a typical human before agriculture, female, ovulated maybe between 50 and 80 or 100 times in her life.
00:21:23.000 You look at it after agriculture, like now, women ovulate three, four hundred times in a lifetime. 1.00
00:21:29.000 Sometimes a day.
00:21:30.000 Some of them.
00:21:31.000 Some of them seem like they're on the rag all day.
00:21:33.000 On a weekend.
00:21:34.000 Their whole life, they're spent bleeding.
00:21:36.000 So that stresses women's bodies a lot, because every time they go through that cycle, as you say, their breasts are swelling, things are changing. 1.00
00:21:42.000 What do they attribute this change in the amount of menstruating women do? 1.00
00:21:45.000 Is it just food?
00:21:47.000 It's higher body fat, which gets them started earlier.
00:21:50.000 But it's also that women aren't having as many kids and they aren't breastfeeding their kids. 1.00
00:21:56.000 So a woman in an agricultural society or now could have kids on cow milk immediately. 0.98
00:22:04.000 So then she starts cycling again.
00:22:07.000 What's the numbers on people who breastfeed and people who don't?
00:22:09.000 Almost all my friends whose wives had children, they breastfed.
00:22:13.000 Yeah, I don't know.
00:22:14.000 And you'd have to also think about how to judge it.
00:22:16.000 You know, how long do they breastfeed? 1.00
00:22:17.000 I know one lady who didn't want to breastfeed because she didn't want her nipples to get ugly. 1.00
00:22:21.000 Yeah, a lot of women. 1.00
00:22:22.000 Does it stretch it out or does it stretch it? 0.98
00:22:24.000 Didn't do anything to my wives, but to some people's nipples. 1.00
00:22:27.000 Well, some people are more susceptible to stretch marks, too.
00:22:30.000 Like, I've met people that had a kid, and it just wrecked their body.
00:22:33.000 I mean, it looks like they were attacked by a bear.
00:22:35.000 You know, like, just claw marks all over their stomach.
00:22:38.000 And then you see some girls, they have a baby, and then, like, three weeks later, they look like nothing even happened to them.
00:22:42.000 Like, it doesn't even make any sense.
00:22:44.000 That's genetics.
00:22:45.000 Genetics, they vary substantially when it comes to the elasticity of skin, apparently.
00:22:49.000 Yeah.
00:22:50.000 You know, you see that in mixed martial arts.
00:22:52.000 Like, some guys get cut really easy.
00:22:54.000 And it's not just the shape of the bones.
00:22:56.000 That's been argued.
00:22:57.000 That's the shape of the bones around the eyes.
00:22:59.000 There's some people that just have much more tender skin.
00:23:02.000 There's guys like B.J. Penn.
00:23:03.000 B.J. Penn's fought, like, God, I don't know how many times.
00:23:05.000 Champ of two weight divisions.
00:23:07.000 I've never seen a guy cut.
00:23:08.000 He never gets cut.
00:23:09.000 He gets beat up. 0.99
00:23:10.000 I mean, he's had fucking wars. 1.00
00:23:12.000 Eyes swollen. 1.00
00:23:13.000 No cuts.
00:23:13.000 It's weird.
00:23:14.000 Some guys, a punch misses them and they cut open.
00:23:18.000 It's a very strange thing. 0.99
00:23:20.000 I think it goes that way with vaginas as well. 1.00
00:23:23.000 Like some girls' vaginas, they snap back into action. 1.00
00:23:25.000 And other ones, it's like you just shot a bowling ball through a chicken. 0.99
00:23:31.000 What are you going to do with this? 0.98
00:23:33.000 You're going to stitch up the outside and pretend you're not fucking a canyon after that? 0.95
00:23:39.000 You know, it's just genetics. 0.98
00:23:43.000 We were talking about Dan Savage earlier. 0.64
00:23:45.000 He's gay, right? 0.99
00:23:46.000 So he's not real into vaginas. 1.00
00:23:48.000 That's what I hear. 0.99
00:23:49.000 He wrote in his column that for him, vaginas look like canned hams that had fallen from the sky and the cans split on impact. 1.00
00:23:57.000 How rude. 0.99
00:23:58.000 It did not win him a lot of...
00:24:01.000 Admiration from the ladies. 0.87
00:24:03.000 It's so silly to say, too. 0.94
00:24:04.000 They don't look anything like that. 0.98
00:24:06.000 It's a shitty comparison. 0.81
00:24:07.000 Well, you know, what's he know? 0.93
00:24:09.000 Right, but I mean, it doesn't look like a can ham that fell from the sky at all. 0.98
00:24:13.000 No, it looks like a strange gelatinous alien that's trying to steal your sperm. 0.97
00:24:18.000 That's what it looks like, the mouth of some strange creature. 0.99
00:24:21.000 It's just some succubus. 0.96
00:24:23.000 It's just there to pull genetic material out of your body. 0.99
00:24:26.000 Which essentially the vagina is, other than being a point of pleasure in a place where you pee. 1.00
00:24:30.000 Looks like your predator mask. 0.99
00:24:32.000 Yeah, a little bit.
00:24:33.000 That was in my last special.
00:24:34.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:24:35.000 I was talking about my wife saying that uncircumcised dicks are ugly, and I'm like, have you even seen your vagina? 1.00
00:24:42.000 Do you know what that thing looks like? 1.00
00:24:43.000 Yeah.
00:24:44.000 The extra skin on that might be the best looking part of it.
00:24:47.000 Yeah.
00:24:49.000 Genitalia, you know, it's all in the eye of the beholder, right?
00:24:51.000 Exactly.
00:24:51.000 You've got to be in the mood.
00:24:52.000 Especially if you're really wanting it.
00:24:54.000 Yeah.
00:24:54.000 Well, then it looks better.
00:24:56.000 That's when it becomes delicious.
00:25:00.000 When you're all excited.
00:25:02.000 So there's many things that have caused people to start menstruating later in life.
00:25:08.000 Yeah, primarily less breastfeeding, less amount of time, and higher fat diets.
00:25:14.000 What percentage of women breastfeed? 1.00
00:25:17.000 Yeah, and you're going to want to look on...
00:25:20.000 Cross-cultural stuff, too.
00:25:21.000 No, I'm going to go to the first website I find, and I'm going to say it like it's a fact, because that's what you do.
00:25:27.000 That's how it goes.
00:25:28.000 The CDC, Center for Disease Control, would they know?
00:25:31.000 Yeah, they'll know about America, sure.
00:25:33.000 More mothers are breastfeeding, but overall rates are still low.
00:25:37.000 90% of families exclusively breastfeed for six months.
00:25:43.000 Wow.
00:25:44.000 How many?
00:25:44.000 90%.
00:25:46.000 And they're saying that's low?
00:25:49.000 They're saying that overall the rates are still low is what they're saying in this article.
00:25:54.000 I don't understand that.
00:25:55.000 It doesn't make sense.
00:25:56.000 It's on CBS News, too. 1.00
00:25:57.000 What are you saying, you fucks? 1.00
00:25:59.000 Did I read this wrong? 1.00
00:26:00.000 Is that possible?
00:26:02.000 You know, and breastfeeding also relates to what we were talking about earlier with the bacteria and the intestinal fauna and all that.
00:26:08.000 Babies that are born vaginally pick up bacteria, especially skin bacteria, that stays with them for life.
00:26:16.000 Whoa.
00:26:16.000 And they found that babies who are born through cesarean don't have that and are more likely as a result to get infections and various fungal infections in their skin.
00:26:25.000 Sweet. 0.98
00:26:25.000 I got pussy bacteria on me. 0.98
00:26:28.000 Yeah, you want to get as much of that as you can. 1.00
00:26:30.000 And then breastfeeding as well. 0.99
00:26:32.000 The first few days of breastfeeding, I think it's called colostium.
00:26:36.000 There's a substance that comes from the breast that isn't... 1.00
00:26:39.000 It's mostly stuff other than milk.
00:26:42.000 Really high fat.
00:26:43.000 Colostrum?
00:26:44.000 Colostrum.
00:26:45.000 I think that's the word.
00:26:45.000 How dare you just spit that out like you know what you're talking about.
00:26:48.000 You don't even know how to say it.
00:26:49.000 But I know what it tastes like.
00:26:51.000 You could order that.
00:26:52.000 You could buy it at Whole Foods.
00:26:54.000 From cows.
00:26:55.000 Oh, from cows.
00:26:56.000 You don't want cow colostrum? 0.99
00:26:58.000 Sure you do.
00:26:59.000 It's healthy.
00:27:00.000 It's rich in human growth hormone, or cow growth hormone.
00:27:05.000 It's very similar.
00:27:06.000 So listen to this statistic.
00:27:07.000 This is pretty crazy.
00:27:08.000 They're not saying how many people do it.
00:27:09.000 What they were saying was if 90% did, this is how much lower health risks we would have.
00:27:14.000 Oh, right, right.
00:27:15.000 I can't read and talk at the same time.
00:27:16.000 But infants who are breastfed for the first six months have a 72% lower risk of hospitalization for lower respiratory tract infections and a 64% reduced risk for non-specified gastronomical tract infections.
00:27:30.000 58% risk reduction for the intestinal infection necrotizing enteroculitis in preterm infants and a 27 to 42% reduction in allergic diseases in breastfed infants.
00:27:50.000 That's amazing. 0.99
00:27:52.000 You would be an asshole to not breastfeed your kid if you could because you're setting this kid up for a life of much more likely infections, much more likely allergic reactions. 1.00
00:28:03.000 Those are big numbers. 1.00
00:28:05.000 Yeah, and that's just the stuff that happens when it's still a kid.
00:28:09.000 There's evidence that there are lifelong changes in immune response based on whether or not a kid was breastfed.
00:28:15.000 The World Health Organization recommends that babies should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life and then receive a combination of breast milk and easily digestible foods through the age of two.
00:28:24.000 Wow.
00:28:25.000 You should still have breast milk up to the age of two.
00:28:27.000 Research shows that if 90% of families exclusively breastfed for six months, almost 1,000 infant deaths could be prevented annually.
00:28:35.000 And $13 billion would be saved in medical costs each year, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office on Women's Health.
00:28:44.000 I mean, I know there's some issues that some women have. 1.00
00:28:46.000 Some women's aerials aren't set up for breastfeeding. 1.00
00:28:50.000 And some of that can be helped with pumps, too, apparently. 0.99
00:28:53.000 And, you know, some people, they just don't have the fucking time, unfortunately. 0.97
00:28:57.000 And also, it's a social thing, you know? 0.98
00:28:59.000 In the United States, it's still seen as a shameful, you know, sort of something you should do in the bathroom.
00:29:05.000 States where it's illegal to do it in restaurants or in public. 0.97
00:29:09.000 There's a lot of bullshit women have to contend with in addition to the biological stuff. 1.00
00:29:13.000 Yeah, doing it in public is a rough one. 0.99
00:29:15.000 In Spain, it's like everywhere.
00:29:17.000 In India, women are breastfeeding everywhere. 1.00
00:29:18.000 Yeah, but those are Spanish tits and Indian tits. 1.00
00:29:21.000 No one cares. 0.99
00:29:21.000 You know, you got a nice American corn-fed tit, and you can't just have that out there in the breeze. 0.99
00:29:25.000 I sat next to one on a plane just last week away home from Vegas, and the whole time I just had my sunglasses on staring at her nipples. 1.00
00:29:32.000 That's great. 1.00
00:29:33.000 You're a fucking creep. 1.00
00:29:34.000 Would you? 1.00
00:29:35.000 No, I wouldn't.
00:29:36.000 I'd be respectful. 1.00
00:29:37.000 You're the reason why people are afraid to do that, you fuck. 1.00
00:29:40.000 Wait, was this a corn fed? 1.00
00:29:41.000 That's so stupid, man. 1.00
00:29:43.000 Why would you do that? 1.00
00:29:44.000 Because she was hot. 1.00
00:29:44.000 You're just being an asshole. 1.00
00:29:46.000 Okay, anyway, more than 70% of American women don't follow the new recommendations. 1.00
00:29:50.000 So that means that 30% of women breastfeed. 0.98
00:29:54.000 That's crazy.
00:29:56.000 So this is a more accurate statistic as to how few actually breastfeed.
00:30:00.000 70% of American women don't exclusively breastfeed their babies for the first six months.
00:30:05.000 So they might be mixing formula in with that.
00:30:07.000 I'm not sure.
00:30:08.000 I'm not sure how it works.
00:30:10.000 But that's not good.
00:30:12.000 You ever heard about what Nestle did in Africa?
00:30:15.000 No.
00:30:16.000 With the formula?
00:30:17.000 They had a bunch of formula that was too old.
00:30:21.000 It was expired.
00:30:22.000 They hired guys to go around Africa wearing lab coats, looking like doctors.
00:30:28.000 Trying to convince women to use this formula because they were just going to throw it away, so they sold it really cheap in Africa. 1.00
00:30:36.000 Now, these are women who otherwise would breastfeed, which is really good for their kids, right? 1.00
00:30:39.000 But because these guys are wearing lab coats and speaking with authority and all this scientific bullshit, a lot of women... 1.00
00:30:46.000 Tens of thousands of women started buying this formula, mix it with the really shitty water that they've got there, and all these babies die all over Africa. 1.00
00:30:55.000 Nestle got in big.
00:30:57.000 This was like in the 80s or 90s.
00:30:59.000 There was a worldwide boycott of Nestle because of this.
00:31:02.000 It's corporations.
00:31:03.000 It's the idea that you have to make money for your company, period.
00:31:07.000 You have to make money.
00:31:08.000 Do you see today, the Supreme Court agreed to hear a case to decide whether or not corporations have religious rights.
00:31:16.000 What?
00:31:16.000 They've already determined they have the right of free speech, which is translated into unlimited spending on political parties because that's considered speech, Citizens United.
00:31:26.000 And now today they agreed to hear a case because these companies that are owned by religious radical right-wingers don't want to have insurance for the employees that cover birth control.
00:31:39.000 So they say it's their right as a corporation not to do this, even though it's the national law.
00:31:44.000 And the Supreme Court's going to hear the case.
00:31:47.000 Wow.
00:31:48.000 That's hilarious.
00:31:50.000 Yeah.
00:31:51.000 I mean, when people talk about Frankenstein, you know, this whole idea like, or will robots ever take over?
00:31:57.000 It's like, dude, it's done.
00:31:59.000 Yeah.
00:31:59.000 Look at a corporation as something we created, legal structure that we created, that has already got more power than governments or religions.
00:32:09.000 It's taken over governments.
00:32:11.000 Even if you talk to people, they say, yeah, but there are good people in that company. 0.99
00:32:15.000 Sure there are, but the company doesn't give a shit, right? 0.99
00:32:18.000 Because they'll die and they'll have new people. 0.99
00:32:20.000 It's like a structure that has taken control of the planet and we're just part of the structure. 0.60
00:32:26.000 We're like working for this monster.
00:32:29.000 Yeah, it's all about ones and zeros.
00:32:31.000 And when it comes down to only being responsible for your bottom line and having an obligation to shareholders to increase the money every month, that gets really weird because it is sort of a machine.
00:32:43.000 And it's each person has to go home and say, hey, what can we do?
00:32:46.000 It's business.
00:32:47.000 It's business.
00:32:48.000 It's what we do.
00:32:48.000 What do we do?
00:32:50.000 We're plugged into this weird machine.
00:32:52.000 And what are the machines doing? 1.00
00:32:54.000 As best I can tell, their entire purpose is taking part of the earth and turning it into shit. 1.00
00:33:01.000 You know? 0.99
00:33:02.000 Like, destroying everything that's beautiful and digging big holes and turning it all into plastic that then floats in the ocean.
00:33:09.000 Some, you know, and when you're involved in the manufacturing process, most.
00:33:13.000 Except for Ting.
00:33:14.000 Ting is good. 0.87
00:33:15.000 They're not really corporations.
00:33:17.000 It's sort of a company kind of a thing.
00:33:18.000 I gotta say, one of the times I was on your show, you were talking about Ting. 0.96
00:33:21.000 And I had an iPhone.
00:33:23.000 I don't know if you remember it. 0.99
00:33:23.000 I was like, damn, I would get Ting if I didn't have this fucking iPhone. 0.99
00:33:26.000 But I got so tired of bullshit with phone companies, like the hidden charges and the sneaky bullshit. 1.00
00:33:33.000 And I really admire this philosophy of like, hey, here it is. 0.99
00:33:37.000 You get what you pay for. 0.99
00:33:38.000 We're not gonna fuck around with you. 1.00
00:33:39.000 I ended up selling my iPhone. 0.99
00:33:40.000 I got a Samsung just so I could go with Ting. 0.96
00:33:42.000 Good for you.
00:33:43.000 Which one did you get?
00:33:44.000 The Galaxy S4. It's a nice phone.
00:33:47.000 Yeah, I saw you went with the other one there.
00:33:48.000 I got this bad boy. 0.96
00:33:50.000 That's a monster.
00:33:51.000 Yeah, this is the Note.
00:33:52.000 Oh, you got the Note.
00:33:53.000 I thought you got the...
00:33:54.000 This is the Note 3. You had another one a few months ago.
00:33:57.000 I got an HTC One.
00:33:58.000 Yeah, I saw that. 1.00
00:33:59.000 Yeah, this is the shit, though. 1.00
00:34:01.000 This is the one I really love. 0.99
00:34:02.000 Still using it?
00:34:03.000 Oh, yeah. 0.98
00:34:03.000 I love the fuck out of that phone. 0.98
00:34:04.000 Does that have the little pen? 0.99
00:34:05.000 Yes, the stylus.
00:34:06.000 I write my comedy notes on it.
00:34:08.000 I don't need to bring a notepad with me anymore because I have an endless supply of pages.
00:34:12.000 And I can file them on the phone.
00:34:14.000 I can shuffle through all my notes.
00:34:16.000 I can put them in folders.
00:34:18.000 It's amazing.
00:34:19.000 Dude, I've got to stop coming on this show.
00:34:21.000 It costs me money every time.
00:34:22.000 I've got to buy a new phone.
00:34:23.000 I'm going to have to go buy a note and get a Porsche.
00:34:25.000 Well, the Galaxy S4 is pretty sweet.
00:34:28.000 It is sweet.
00:34:29.000 You don't really need to get another phone.
00:34:30.000 It is beautiful.
00:34:31.000 I mean, just the screen, looking at photos.
00:34:33.000 I don't watch videos and stuff on the phone, but I like looking at the photos.
00:34:36.000 And man, like, go back to an iPhone after that, it looks so small.
00:34:41.000 The internet is the biggest difference in the experience.
00:34:43.000 I mean, because the Note is enormous. 0.86
00:34:45.000 When you're looking at a screen, if you're looking at a photograph on the screen, or if you're looking at a website, I mean, it's goddamn huge. 0.68
00:34:52.000 I mean, look how big that is.
00:34:54.000 I mean, it really is like a tablet.
00:34:56.000 You get an awesome view.
00:34:58.000 And, you know, I carry a purse.
00:35:01.000 How dare you?
00:35:02.000 A murse.
00:35:02.000 I like it.
00:35:03.000 I wish everybody did.
00:35:04.000 Yeah, so you've got room for that in there.
00:35:07.000 Yeah, I put it in my back pocket.
00:35:08.000 It fits easy.
00:35:08.000 Oh, really?
00:35:09.000 Yeah, it's no issue at all.
00:35:10.000 But I'm 100% in favor of the murse.
00:35:13.000 I think I'm disgusted by the fact that we can't wear a purse.
00:35:17.000 It's rude.
00:35:17.000 We can.
00:35:18.000 We just have to take back the murse.
00:35:19.000 Take it back.
00:35:20.000 Yeah.
00:35:20.000 I consider it more than a murse.
00:35:22.000 I consider it my koi chain cane bag.
00:35:25.000 Really?
00:35:26.000 Remember koi chain cane?
00:35:27.000 Yeah, I do.
00:35:28.000 Kung Fu?
00:35:29.000 Yeah, he had a bag.
00:35:30.000 That's right.
00:35:30.000 He had a little leather satchel.
00:35:32.000 Yeah, a little leather thing.
00:35:33.000 He kept his necessaries.
00:35:35.000 I tried keeping my laptop in one of those because I wanted to look more sophisticated.
00:35:38.000 I feel like I'm in my 40s now.
00:35:40.000 I should probably grow up.
00:35:42.000 But it didn't work.
00:35:43.000 I went back to the backpack.
00:35:44.000 Backpacks are more effective.
00:35:45.000 Wait for your 50s.
00:35:47.000 No, I give up.
00:35:48.000 I just got this new shirt.
00:35:49.000 It's like a hoodie.
00:35:50.000 I don't have it on right now, but it has a fanny pack built into it, kind of.
00:35:56.000 So you have your two hands in your pockets, and then there's this middle thing that's just like a fanny pack.
00:36:02.000 It zips up?
00:36:02.000 Yeah, it's a Velcro.
00:36:04.000 You just open it up, and it's not the hundreds.
00:36:07.000 That's like a baby step.
00:36:08.000 That's the gateway drug to fanny packs. 0.94
00:36:11.000 Yeah, and it's cool because I use it like crazy, and it just looks like you have a little stomach of gear.
00:36:16.000 Yeah, and some girls like guts. 1.00
00:36:18.000 You'll find them that way. 0.93
00:36:20.000 There's girls out there that have fetishes. 1.00
00:36:22.000 Just like guys like pretty feet, some girls like guts. 1.00
00:36:24.000 Really?
00:36:25.000 Yeah, I've heard.
00:36:26.000 Not enough of them.
00:36:27.000 Not enough of them?
00:36:29.000 It's an evolutionary advantage.
00:36:31.000 There's more guts out there, so they start gravitating towards them in order to ensure that their seed gets spread.
00:36:36.000 Right, and a lot of the guys with the guts have money.
00:36:39.000 Yeah, I think a lot of people have given up on quality and they just, you know, just want to get the job done.
00:36:44.000 And you pour it in a storm.
00:36:45.000 Guts are warm.
00:36:46.000 Well, physical attributes are not nearly as necessary as they used to be.
00:36:50.000 When our society gets more and more safe, you know, it's less and less a requirement to be physically sound or strong or not look like you're going to keel over it in a minute.
00:36:59.000 Now they have life insurance policies. 0.94
00:37:01.000 It's actually beneficial if you marry a fat guy with a bad heart. 0.98
00:37:05.000 Exactly. 0.99
00:37:05.000 Hey, ladies. 0.99
00:37:06.000 Keel when you will.
00:37:07.000 Yeah, if you marry a guy who's got sleep apnea, he's 100 pounds overweight, and he's also on a gang of pills, just wait it out.
00:37:16.000 Get a nice life insurance policy.
00:37:18.000 Make sure the medical stuff is all documented.
00:37:21.000 He's going to kick over eventually.
00:37:23.000 How long can he last?
00:37:24.000 Get him involved in sports.
00:37:25.000 Say, honey, I want you to start losing weight. 0.95
00:37:27.000 Let's go scuba diving. 1.00
00:37:28.000 Get him involved in some stupid shit that he can't do. 1.00
00:37:32.000 That ticker will just give the fuck out. 1.00
00:37:34.000 And then you rake it in. 0.97
00:37:36.000 Hand gliding.
00:37:36.000 It's evolutionary, right?
00:37:38.000 I mean, there's got to be...
00:37:39.000 Gold diggers have to be a part of evolution, right? 1.00
00:37:43.000 I mean, it has to be some form of an equation.
00:37:48.000 Is that a serious question?
00:37:49.000 Not really.
00:37:50.000 It's like we were talking about corporations being machines.
00:37:54.000 I did write a book about that.
00:37:56.000 Yeah.
00:37:56.000 Yeah, all right.
00:37:59.000 Gold digging?
00:38:00.000 Yeah.
00:38:01.000 Well, we wrote... 1.00
00:38:02.000 In our book, actually, we say, Darwin says your mother's a whore. 1.00
00:38:05.000 I had business cards that had that quote on the book. 0.99
00:38:09.000 Because Darwin's theory is that women traded sexual access for goods and services. 1.00
00:38:15.000 Right.
00:38:16.000 Gold diggers, essentially.
00:38:17.000 And the sort of mainstream view since Darwin has been that that's women's nature. 1.00
00:38:23.000 And that men's nature is to be the provider, and so the women are trying to rope in the best provider and all that. 1.00
00:38:28.000 But we basically call bullshit on that in our book. 0.98
00:38:31.000 How do you call bullshit on it? 0.96
00:38:33.000 Well, you know, aside from all the evidence that our ancestors did not evolve in nuclear families, in our bodies, it's 300 pages of evidence. 0.99
00:38:45.000 But essentially what we say is, no, women have sex for the same reason men do. 0.58
00:38:49.000 It feels good and it's a way to bond with somebody.
00:38:51.000 It's not about getting something from the dude, because when you actually look at hunter-gatherer societies, hunters go out of their way to make sure that nobody knows who killed the animals.
00:39:02.000 Like, the hunters will exchange arrows and stuff before they go hunting.
00:39:06.000 The guy who brings the animal back to the village often generally is not the one who killed it.
00:39:11.000 There are all these very powerful ways that societies make sure that nobody gets proud and nobody gets too much credit and everything's spread around evenly.
00:39:21.000 It's fierce egalitarianism is what the scientists call it. 0.99
00:39:25.000 And it's not because they're noble savages or some shit. 0.97
00:39:29.000 It's because that's the best way to mitigate risk in a hunter-gatherer society. 0.99
00:39:33.000 Right?
00:39:34.000 So like you go hunting today, you get a deer.
00:39:36.000 I didn't get one.
00:39:37.000 I might not get one for a week, right?
00:39:39.000 You're not going to get one every day.
00:39:40.000 It's sporadic.
00:39:41.000 You come back, you don't have any refrigeration anyway, so it's not like you could keep it all for yourself and your wife and your kids, right?
00:39:48.000 And it mitigates risk when everybody eats.
00:39:51.000 Whether you get it or I get it, we all eat.
00:39:53.000 Plus, we're all really highly interdependent. 0.99
00:39:57.000 So the last thing we need is you and me fighting over who's a better hunter and who's fucking whose wife and all this kind of bullshit because that splits up the group. 0.99
00:40:05.000 So what we argue in Sex at Dawn is that human sexuality was actually a way to bond the group together. 0.99
00:40:11.000 And people were having sex with different people simultaneously and raising children together.
00:40:16.000 And this obsession with Paternity, which is assumed to be part of our DNA, is actually a response to agriculture, which is just 10,000 years ago, which is like 5% or less of our existence as a species.
00:40:29.000 So it's a response to staying put, which allowed people to make much larger civilizations.
00:40:34.000 Yeah, in a nutshell.
00:40:37.000 Essentially, when people stayed put, they could accumulate resources, whether it's domesticated animals or land or buildings or wheat or whatever.
00:40:46.000 And so once that happens, then there's a completely different sense of property, right?
00:40:52.000 Because in a hunter-gatherer society, there's very little property because they're nomadic. 0.95
00:40:56.000 So you don't want to carry shit around, right? 0.97
00:40:58.000 And whatever there is, is shared. 0.97
00:41:02.000 And when you shift to agriculture, suddenly there's a lot of property and it's not shared.
00:41:07.000 It's hoarded.
00:41:08.000 It's controlled by individual families or people.
00:41:11.000 So that's when paternity becomes a big deal because you've spent your life Accumulating all these resources, you want them to go to your sons, right? 0.61
00:41:19.000 And it's also, interestingly, the first time that people really understood that sex caused babies.
00:41:26.000 Because before that, everybody's just having sex and women are having babies. 1.00
00:41:30.000 There's no reason to think that sex is causing the babies, right? 0.99
00:41:33.000 But then when you've got domesticated animals and you see like, oh, okay, the black bull fucked that white cow, and now we got these black and white calves. 0.97
00:41:40.000 Oh, right, I get it, right? 0.88
00:41:42.000 So you start putting that together when you're living around a lot of domesticated animals and breeding.
00:41:47.000 And so that's when women became the property of men. 0.99
00:41:51.000 If you read the Old Testament, it says, Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
00:41:56.000 It's about property.
00:41:57.000 Yeah.
00:41:57.000 It's not about respecting his marriage.
00:41:58.000 Read it in context. 0.51
00:42:00.000 Nor his house, nor his ox, nor his slaves, nor his she-ass, whatever a she-ass is. 0.99
00:42:05.000 So it's, you know, keep your hands off your neighbor's stuff, and the wife is just part of his stuff. 0.99
00:42:10.000 So that's radically different from the way men and women interacted in hunter-gatherer societies, where women had very high status, equal to or sometimes higher than men's, because the women supplied over half of the calories that people lived on.
00:42:24.000 The gathering is what brought the food in every day.
00:42:27.000 The hunting was an occasional bonus.
00:42:31.000 So the women were involved in plants and harvesting fruits and vegetables? 1.00
00:42:35.000 Small rodents, yeah.
00:42:37.000 Small rodents?
00:42:38.000 Yeah.
00:42:38.000 Ladies, take care of the small rodents.
00:42:40.000 We'll go get the elk.
00:42:41.000 You can't handle anything large.
00:42:44.000 So because they brought in small rodents, they were the kings.
00:42:47.000 That kind of makes sense.
00:42:47.000 Well, they were like mom.
00:42:49.000 They were there day in, day out.
00:42:51.000 Dad's like, hey, you know, like occasional party.
00:42:54.000 Dad brings home a deer or something.
00:42:56.000 Wow, that's interesting.
00:42:57.000 How do they know this for sure?
00:42:59.000 Well, you look at, well, which aspect of it?
00:43:02.000 The whole story?
00:43:03.000 The aspect of women being, you know, having a... 1.00
00:43:05.000 The higher status and all that?
00:43:07.000 Matriarchal. 1.00
00:43:08.000 In that case, primarily, you're looking at anthropological research that's been done by people on hunter-gatherers, right?
00:43:14.000 There's still some hunter-gatherers in the world, and in the 60s and 70s, there were a lot more, and a lot of...
00:43:20.000 People wrote their research on that.
00:43:22.000 So there's a pretty sizable research on hunter-gatherers.
00:43:25.000 And what you find is universalities.
00:43:28.000 So whether you're talking about Inuits in Greenland or Australian Aboriginal people or Papua New Guinea or the upper Amazon, you find these similar or universalities among all the different groups.
00:43:40.000 So you say, okay, look, if this is common to all these groups from all over the world, then it is universal.
00:43:47.000 Characteristic of hunter-gatherer societies.
00:43:49.000 And we know our ancestors were hunter-gatherers, so therefore we can extrapolate.
00:43:54.000 Wow, that's interesting.
00:43:55.000 So what about money?
00:43:56.000 How did that factor into it?
00:43:58.000 Because when you started not just accumulating material possessions, but actually start figuring out finances and figuring out money and the monetary compensation for work and things along those lines, like how did that factor into the male-female relationship?
00:44:12.000 Because men physically being stronger were able to do things, being more aggressive were probably pushier when it comes to acquiring that money, and then they found themselves in an imbalanced position where the men Have more financial worth than the woman. 0.61
00:44:26.000 Yeah, and the women generally have zero financial worth. 1.00
00:44:30.000 It's not just that the men are, you know, slightly higher.
00:44:32.000 You look at women in societies like early agricultural societies in the Middle East and, you know, as recounted in the Bible and so on.
00:44:41.000 A woman's only access to the things she needs, food, shelter, status, things like that, is through a man. 1.00
00:44:50.000 It's through her father and then through her husband.
00:44:52.000 Well, the Middle East, they take it to the next level.
00:44:54.000 You can't even show your face.
00:44:56.000 Yeah, because you're the property of the man.
00:44:58.000 He doesn't want that being shown. 1.00
00:45:00.000 You're walking around with a fucking tent over your head every day. 1.00
00:45:05.000 You want to talk about the weak-ass approach to life? 1.00
00:45:10.000 They can't drive. 0.95
00:45:11.000 In 2013, Saudi Arabian women are battling to drive. 0.92
00:45:15.000 They're risking their lives to drive.
00:45:18.000 They won't let them drive.
00:45:22.000 Dude, you guys gotta relax your grip. 1.00
00:45:25.000 All you Saudi Arabian men, you're fucking yourself over. 1.00
00:45:28.000 Has no one taught you what having character is? 1.00
00:45:33.000 Has no one taught you what being a bitch is? 1.00
00:45:35.000 What kind of a man wants to keep his wife from driving and wants her to wear a sleeping bag everywhere she goes? 1.00
00:45:43.000 You're fucking ridiculous. 1.00
00:45:45.000 The idea is ridiculous. 1.00
00:45:47.000 She can't show her face like this? 0.99
00:45:49.000 She's got to go through life like she's a bank robber? 1.00
00:45:52.000 That's so fucking dumb. 1.00
00:45:54.000 In 2013, the fact that that still exists, I mean, what is that an echo of? 1.00
00:45:58.000 What caused all that?
00:46:00.000 The scarcity thing?
00:46:01.000 Well, I think it's an echo of these early days when women became the property of men. 0.99
00:46:06.000 And honestly, you know, someone I was talking to recently, just at dinner, an American woman, said in the 60s, in the 60s, she couldn't open a bank account without her husband or father co-signing. 1.00
00:46:21.000 It's because she was a silly bitch. 1.00
00:46:22.000 She's going to go crazy with her money and buy purses. 1.00
00:46:24.000 I don't think so.
00:46:25.000 We have no money for baby formula.
00:46:26.000 I don't think so.
00:46:27.000 Yeah, I mean, it's not that long ago that we were... 0.99
00:46:30.000 We're still, you know, fucking women over in lots of ways. 0.99
00:46:34.000 But as far as that, you know, the whole Middle Eastern thing, I think that's a reflection of this notion that women are the property of men. 0.99
00:46:42.000 Now, why were women the property of men? 0.97
00:46:45.000 Partly it's, as you said, questions of upper body strength and the way men organize politically more effectively than women did.
00:46:52.000 So men took control of a lot of stuff.
00:46:54.000 Also the need for armies because agricultural societies expand.
00:46:59.000 And that gets us into what we were saying earlier about corporations.
00:47:02.000 That's when you get these institutions where growth is a central characteristic of that institution.
00:47:11.000 I think it was Edward Abbey who said, growth for its own sake is the ideology of the cancer cell.
00:47:16.000 It's also the ideology of corporations, of agricultural societies.
00:47:20.000 We talk about growth, right?
00:47:22.000 Oh, this year's growth rate is whatever.
00:47:25.000 Everything's always got to be right.
00:47:27.000 100,000 new jobs introduced by the president.
00:47:29.000 Exactly, right.
00:47:31.000 One of the things I'm talking about in this book I'm working on now, it's called Civilized to Death, is the whole idea of progress. 0.96
00:47:39.000 It stops making sense if you're going in the wrong fucking direction.
00:47:42.000 If you're going the wrong way, the last thing you want is progress. 0.99
00:47:44.000 You want regress.
00:47:46.000 We don't want growth.
00:47:48.000 We've got to contract, get fewer people...
00:47:52.000 Yeah.
00:47:53.000 Using fewer, you know, fewer resources.
00:47:55.000 That was a fascinating thing that Terence McKenna once said about a mushroom trip.
00:47:59.000 He asked a mushroom, how could he possibly, how could anyone possibly save the path that humans are on?
00:48:05.000 And they said very simply and very easily, each parent, each couple should reproduce once.
00:48:12.000 You know, two people, they have one kid, everybody relaxes.
00:48:16.000 The whole, the resources relax, everything relaxes. 0.99
00:48:19.000 Like, there's plenty of fucking people, okay? 0.98
00:48:21.000 There is zero worry that people are gonna go extinct. 1.00
00:48:24.000 Right.
00:48:25.000 But then the problem is, how do you go to those people, like those crazy people that were on that TV show that had 19 children?
00:48:31.000 Remember those people?
00:48:32.000 First of all, what is she in labor for, like, three seconds? 1.00
00:48:36.000 Does he actually have sex with her, or does he just jerk off into the abyss? 0.97
00:48:43.000 Like, how are those babies actually fertilized? 1.00
00:48:48.000 How could you tell that woman she can't do that?
00:48:50.000 I mean, I think it's a freak show.
00:48:52.000 I think resources-wise, I have three kids.
00:48:56.000 It's hard.
00:48:56.000 It's hard to give them all the time that they deserve.
00:49:00.000 Me and my wife have discussed that when it comes to the possibility of having more children.
00:49:04.000 I said, I think we should really concentrate on raising the ones we have.
00:49:07.000 They're fun, and it's great.
00:49:09.000 They need a lot of time.
00:49:11.000 Children need a lot of time, and I enjoy giving them that time.
00:49:14.000 But I think that if you have another kid around everyone gets a little bit less time and I think in that getting less time there's some benefits the independence aspect of it as long as there's love and there's comfort but I also think you can teach kids a lot of shit you know and you can teach them a lot especially if you really are into it and you concentrate on it and you read a lot of books on it which I'm really involved in the idea of raising kids like I'm raising little human beings so The conversations that I have with them are all geared towards that.
00:49:44.000 Like, it's geared towards enlightening them as to the world.
00:49:48.000 And it's sort of guiding them as how to treat people, how to be nice to people, how to be nice to your sister.
00:49:53.000 Be nice to people.
00:49:55.000 Don't get angry at things for no reason.
00:49:57.000 Look at it this way instead of that way.
00:49:58.000 And I think that, you know, you're going to miss a lot of that when you have 15, 16 kids. 1.00
00:50:02.000 You guys just shut the fuck up. 1.00
00:50:04.000 Just shut the fuck up. 1.00
00:50:06.000 Organize teams. 1.00
00:50:06.000 You, you're responsible for your little brother. 1.00
00:50:08.000 You, you're responsible for her.
00:50:09.000 And that's what those people did.
00:50:11.000 Every kid has a chore.
00:50:12.000 That's how you raise zombies. 0.99
00:50:14.000 These kids, they're not going to know what the fuck is going on in the world. 0.99
00:50:17.000 They're going to need someone to help them. 0.99
00:50:19.000 Every day is spent doing tasks.
00:50:21.000 And your life is basically religion, homeschooling, and these tasks.
00:50:26.000 That's those kids.
00:50:27.000 That's the 19 people.
00:50:28.000 What are they?
00:50:29.000 The Duggans?
00:50:29.000 Is that what they're called?
00:50:30.000 I think so.
00:50:31.000 Yeah.
00:50:31.000 See if you can find that.
00:50:32.000 I mean, look, I don't think you can tell those people not to do that.
00:50:36.000 I think this is America.
00:50:37.000 No.
00:50:37.000 America's got its faults, but...
00:50:39.000 But think about it. 0.94
00:50:40.000 They only neutralize, like, eight gay couples.
00:50:44.000 Neutralize?
00:50:44.000 What do you mean?
00:50:44.000 Well, I mean, like, if they've got 19 kids, you average it out.
00:50:47.000 Like, you've got eight gay couples who don't have any kid, or adopt a kid, which takes it out of the other pool. 0.99
00:50:54.000 Mathematically, you can have outliers like that.
00:50:57.000 Because there are lots of people like me who don't have kids.
00:51:00.000 I think the way to do it is to remove the stigma around not having kids and to encourage...
00:51:11.000 What Sarah Hurdy calls alloparenting, and this gets back to the whole hunter-gatherer thing.
00:51:16.000 Kids are raised by everybody.
00:51:18.000 They say, oh, two parents are better than one.
00:51:21.000 Yeah, that's true.
00:51:22.000 But you know what?
00:51:22.000 Five parents are better than two.
00:51:24.000 It takes pressure off you because you get frustrated.
00:51:27.000 You get tired.
00:51:27.000 Their mother gets tired.
00:51:29.000 And it also, it's enriching for the adult.
00:51:31.000 I love being around kids for a couple of hours, you know?
00:51:34.000 Right.
00:51:35.000 Yeah, no, I know what you're talking about.
00:51:36.000 And I can flee, you know?
00:51:37.000 We had a party at my house the other day, and there was a gang, for Halloween, there was a Halloween party, and there was a gang of kids over.
00:51:44.000 And it was fun.
00:51:45.000 It was fun talking to other people's little kids and, you know, seeing how they're different and how they behave different.
00:51:50.000 They have different ideas about stuff.
00:51:52.000 You know, there's nothing wrong with that.
00:51:54.000 This is the family.
00:51:55.000 The 19 folks that live at home together.
00:51:57.000 Nice house though for 19...
00:51:59.000 Guy must be making some good bank.
00:52:01.000 Be paying for all those kids. 1.00
00:52:04.000 Maybe he just loves to fuck. 1.00
00:52:05.000 It's all this religion stuff just to keep them all around. 1.00
00:52:09.000 Just loves sending it in.
00:52:13.000 19 kids seems a little excessive, but again, I don't think... 0.99
00:52:16.000 It's always anal. 0.99
00:52:18.000 Not for really religious people. 0.99
00:52:20.000 I think it's in the Bible.
00:52:21.000 Oh, really?
00:52:21.000 People pick and choose what they like about the Bible.
00:52:24.000 That's why they get religious tattoos.
00:52:25.000 Did you ever think that...
00:52:27.000 Were you raised religiously?
00:52:29.000 Uh, 21?
00:52:30.000 That's a family of 21?
00:52:31.000 Yeah, there's this new one called the Bates family, I guess, and they have 21. Oh God, they're taking on the fucking Duggars. 1.00
00:52:35.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:52:36.000 The Bates.
00:52:36.000 They're still growing.
00:52:38.000 Look at that creepy fuck on the left. 1.00
00:52:40.000 Uh, yeah, I was released Catholic. 1.00
00:52:42.000 I went to Catholic school.
00:52:43.000 All right.
00:52:43.000 And, uh, I went only for one year.
00:52:45.000 Uh-huh.
00:52:46.000 Luckily, my mom and my dad split up when I was about five years old.
00:52:51.000 It's like that old world New Jersey sort of Italian and Irish mix. 0.99
00:52:57.000 Everyone was fucking Catholic. 0.99
00:52:59.000 Everyone went to Catholic school. 1.00
00:53:01.000 But for me, it was very enlightening.
00:53:04.000 I gave up on religion when I was six years old.
00:53:07.000 I gave up on religion in Catholic school.
00:53:10.000 I was like, obviously, this is not real.
00:53:13.000 Like, this is very obviously...
00:53:15.000 Not buying this. 1.00
00:53:16.000 I was like, if there's a God, and I wasn't saying that there was no God, but I was like, this shit is just crazy people. 1.00
00:53:21.000 This is just more crazy people that have figured out how to control a bunch of assholes and scare the shit out of them. 1.00
00:53:27.000 I could see that as a six-year-old, that this crazy lady who was teaching this class was just an evil, demented woman. 1.00
00:53:33.000 A hateful, horrible woman who had nothing to do with what everybody had told me God was about. 0.99
00:53:38.000 Yeah. 0.96
00:53:40.000 Yeah.
00:53:41.000 Yeah, my parents were raised Catholic in that part of the country, and I saw a lot of that. 0.99
00:53:45.000 But I was thinking recently, like, you know, you're talking about anal sex and Christians and all that. 1.00
00:53:51.000 I wonder if we're sort of shooting ourselves in the foot, those of us who are trying to, you know, move away from shame and hang-ups and stuff. 0.99
00:53:59.000 I wonder if the people with the shame actually have better sex. 0.99
00:54:03.000 Because it's intense. 0.97
00:54:05.000 No. 1.00
00:54:05.000 You don't think like a priest fucking a nun out behind the church in the woods knowing God's watching. 1.00
00:54:11.000 You don't think that's like a really intense fuck? 1.00
00:54:14.000 No, because I think you're dealing with so much guilt. 0.99
00:54:17.000 That neutralizes you.
00:54:18.000 I hate guilt.
00:54:19.000 Yeah, guilt's useless. 0.99
00:54:20.000 Guilt's fucking gross. 0.99
00:54:21.000 It's one of the worst feelings you can ever feel. 0.98
00:54:23.000 I mean, I think there's reasons for it.
00:54:26.000 It's to guide your behavior in a way that you don't have any guilt.
00:54:29.000 But it's also, you can get fucked over and create associations very early on about things you really shouldn't be guilty about. 0.99
00:54:35.000 Like masturbation. 0.99
00:54:37.000 Right. 1.00
00:54:37.000 Like someone was telling me, hey, you know, man, you should cover your camera on your laptop because there's a camera on the laptop and the fucking NSA can spy in on you. 1.00
00:54:46.000 And I'm like, good, they'll catch me beating off. 0.98
00:54:48.000 Right.
00:54:48.000 That's all you're going to get.
00:54:49.000 I'm not doing anything bad.
00:54:50.000 I'm beating off occasionally.
00:54:52.000 Yeah.
00:54:52.000 Right.
00:54:52.000 Am I supposed to be ashamed of that?
00:54:54.000 But for some people, it is a shame. 0.99
00:54:56.000 Like, wait, Mr. Ryan, we have photographic evidence of you masturbating. 0.98
00:55:00.000 Like, good, release it. 0.98
00:55:02.000 Let the internet see.
00:55:03.000 Release the hounds.
00:55:05.000 Let them know that I'm just like them. 1.00
00:55:06.000 This is just my dick, okay? 1.00
00:55:08.000 It hurts. 1.00
00:55:09.000 I gotta get rid of some stuff.
00:55:10.000 I've often thought, like, that would be a great political campaign.
00:55:14.000 The guy or the woman who says, all right, I'm running for president, and let's get this out on the table right here.
00:55:20.000 I tripped a lot in college.
00:55:22.000 I've tried coke.
00:55:23.000 I've tried heroin. 1.00
00:55:24.000 I fucked whores. 1.00
00:55:25.000 Just get it all out there and see how the country responds to that. 1.00
00:55:29.000 Well, this guy from Toronto is essentially doing that.
00:55:33.000 Rob Ford.
00:55:34.000 You know who Rob Ford is?
00:55:35.000 Sure, I know.
00:55:36.000 Rob Ford.
00:55:36.000 What are you pulling up, Brian?
00:55:37.000 Rob.
00:55:38.000 NSA spied on porn habits as a part of a plan to discredit radicalizers.
00:55:42.000 Yeah, like if you're into tranny porn, they shouldn't take you seriously. 0.99
00:55:46.000 Sorry, we're not allowed to say tranny anymore. 1.00
00:55:48.000 Transgender. 1.00
00:55:49.000 Transgender porn. 1.00
00:55:50.000 Can't say tranny. 1.00
00:55:51.000 They get upset.
00:55:52.000 But cabbies, you can still call cab drivers cabbies.
00:55:54.000 So let's hang on to that while we can. 0.98
00:55:57.000 Let's hang on to that before the fucking super sensitive police breaks that down too. 0.98
00:56:01.000 They're cab professionals. 1.00
00:56:04.000 They're not cabbies, asshole. 1.00
00:56:07.000 You cisgendered asshole. 1.00
00:56:09.000 I get so much of that stuff, man. 1.00
00:56:11.000 Of course you do.
00:56:12.000 There's a lot of disenfranchised people out there that want to blow a horn at anybody who'll be an earshot.
00:56:17.000 But it's so frustrating.
00:56:18.000 I just had this today because yesterday I released a podcast episode with a transgender person.
00:56:23.000 Yes.
00:56:23.000 Tell me about this.
00:56:24.000 A wonderful person.
00:56:25.000 I met her at a party and at first I didn't realize she was transgender. 1.00
00:56:30.000 What's her dick taste like? 1.00
00:56:32.000 Coconut. 1.00
00:56:33.000 Coconut.
00:56:34.000 Now that you mention it.
00:56:36.000 But anyway, so I released this thing and I get an email today from someone I know who's cool, who's smart, and she's like, she's a lesbian.
00:56:44.000 And she's like, well, you know, she was upset because the transgender person dresses like a conventional woman and associates with... 0.66
00:56:54.000 I think?
00:57:11.000 Yeah, I had a discussion. 1.00
00:57:12.000 The assholes stick together. 1.00
00:57:14.000 I had a discussion with this radical feminist woman about... 1.00
00:57:17.000 The discussion originally started talking about transgenders and about how transgender man to woman is a woman now.
00:57:25.000 And I'm like, hmm, okay.
00:57:27.000 That's interesting.
00:57:28.000 I'm more than willing to call them a woman.
00:57:30.000 I'm more than willing to call them whatever new name they want or whatever they want to be called. 1.00
00:57:36.000 Names to me are fucking ridiculous. 0.99
00:57:38.000 I understand that we need them. 1.00
00:57:40.000 I can't be like...
00:57:41.000 Ah!
00:57:42.000 Oh! 0.60
00:57:43.000 Yeah!
00:57:43.000 I know all you.
00:57:44.000 Why do I have to call you Chris?
00:57:45.000 Why do I have to call him? 0.88
00:57:47.000 It's silly. 1.00
00:57:48.000 And they're coming out of the fucking Bible, you know? 1.00
00:57:50.000 St. Christopher, St. Joseph. 1.00
00:57:52.000 Yeah, a lot of them.
00:57:53.000 They're random.
00:57:54.000 A lot of them are random.
00:57:56.000 You know, by numbers.
00:57:57.000 But what we were talking about, which got really weird, was we were talking about traditional roles and things that women do that discredit other women.
00:58:07.000 And she was talking about makeup and high heels. 0.99
00:58:09.000 And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:58:11.000 Okay, I know for a fact that if you see a transgender man wearing makeup and high heels, you don't have a problem with that at all, do you?
00:58:19.000 And she was like...
00:58:20.000 You're right. 0.99
00:58:21.000 And I go, well, what the fuck is that about? 1.00
00:58:23.000 I go, if a guy is dressing up like a woman, if he has a sex change, he becomes a woman, you're like, you go, girl. 1.00
00:58:28.000 But if a woman wants to wear high heels and let her ass hang out of a skirt, you think that there's something wrong with her. 1.00
00:58:34.000 I'm like, that's ridiculous. 1.00
00:58:36.000 You're just closed-minded. 0.99
00:58:38.000 You're just very rigid in what you expect from other people. 0.73
00:58:41.000 And yeah, for sure, there's some women out there that put on a big show to get sexual attention. 1.00
00:58:48.000 Much like a peacock male spreads his feathers.
00:58:51.000 I mean, they're trying to get attention and it's effective.
00:58:53.000 I think a lot of the problem that people have with that, that they don't want to admit, is that it bothers them that people are attracted to that.
00:59:00.000 It bothers them that people are not as attracted to them. 0.65
00:59:03.000 You know, there's a lot of ugly women who are mad at pretty women. 1.00
00:59:05.000 I mean, it's not fair. 0.96
00:59:07.000 Life is not fair. 0.99
00:59:08.000 And until they come up with some sort of a genetic remedy, which I believe is within a hundred years, they're going to be able to take you and turn you into whatever the fuck you want. 0.93
00:59:16.000 If you want to be a unicorn, if you want to be the Hulk, you know, I think they're going to be able to do to your body whatever.
00:59:21.000 I think there's going to be elasticity to our genetics and the design of the human being will invariably be manipulated.
00:59:28.000 They're going to change it.
00:59:29.000 So you're going to be able to look like a beautiful woman if you want to.
00:59:31.000 And I think when that comes, man, it's going to be a weird time because, first of all, it's only going to be available to the elite at first. 1.00
00:59:37.000 There's going to be these glowing, perfect specimens that everyone's going to want to fuck. 1.00
00:59:41.000 No one's going to want to fuck a regular person with a mole. 1.00
00:59:44.000 Oh, she's got fucking weird teeth. 1.00
00:59:46.000 And maybe they'll become exotic. 1.00
00:59:48.000 Or they'll become exotic.
00:59:49.000 Most likely not, though.
00:59:50.000 Most likely to be like cell phones.
00:59:51.000 Only rich people have them at first, and then within a few decades, everyone's going to have them because it's going to get cheap.
00:59:57.000 I don't wonder how weird it'll be, though, because I think we'll be trained for it by our avatars online.
01:00:02.000 So we'll be accustomed to taking these other forms, you know?
01:00:06.000 Well, there's that thing, though.
01:00:07.000 I mean, this is the thing about competition.
01:00:10.000 And the thing about it really does boil down to that.
01:00:13.000 People feel like if you're attractive, you're taking something away from them.
01:00:19.000 Right.
01:00:20.000 Like, I was at a wedding once.
01:00:21.000 Yeah.
01:00:22.000 And the bride at the wedding was furious because some other woman that one of the guests had brought in was dressed really sexy. 1.00
01:00:32.000 And she had this banging body. 1.00
01:00:35.000 And the bride was fucking crying. 1.00
01:00:38.000 Like that this was her big day, and this fucking bitch came in, and she's wearing this out. 1.00
01:00:43.000 And it wasn't anything crazy. 1.00
01:00:45.000 It wasn't like she was wearing fishnets and a bra and was like, Kapow! 1.00
01:00:49.000 Why get married? 1.00
01:00:50.000 Look at this shit. 1.00
01:00:51.000 This is out here on the market, fucked face. 1.00
01:00:54.000 And you're settling for cold mashed potatoes. 1.00
01:00:56.000 And the woman was attractive as well. 0.99
01:00:58.000 The bride was attractive too. 1.00
01:00:59.000 And they were clearly in love, and it should have been a celebration.
01:01:02.000 It should have been joy. 1.00
01:01:03.000 And all she could think of was this bitch was upstaging her on her fucking day. 1.00
01:01:08.000 This bitch was like, why the fuck did he bring that bitch? 1.00
01:01:10.000 You know, why the fuck did she dress that way at my wedding? 1.00
01:01:12.000 Apparently, like, no one knew her. 0.99
01:01:14.000 She was a guest, you know, a friend of the guest. 0.99
01:01:17.000 Fuck, you know, that competition thing is weird because people feel like you're taking something from them. 0.99
01:01:24.000 If you always wanted to play basketball, but you're 5'8", and like me, I'm 5'8", and I wish I was as tall as that Mao Ying guy, whatever the fuck his name is. 1.00
01:01:34.000 What's his name? 0.98
01:01:35.000 The big giant Chinese guy? 1.00
01:01:36.000 Yao Ming?
01:01:37.000 Whatever his name is.
01:01:38.000 Shaquille O'Neal.
01:01:39.000 Let's go with Shaq.
01:01:40.000 I did Fear Factor with Shaq, and I stood roughly dick height to him, and it looked like I was his child. 1.00
01:01:45.000 What'd his dick taste like? 1.00
01:01:46.000 Didn't taste bad. 1.00
01:01:47.000 Didn't taste bad.
01:01:48.000 It tasted like a basketball.
01:01:49.000 A little rubbery.
01:01:51.000 A little on the rubbery side.
01:01:53.000 Very dark.
01:01:55.000 You know, it's like you can't get mad at Shaq for being seven feet tall, okay?
01:01:59.000 If you want to play basketball, obviously, that's not the hand of cards you're dealt, my friend.
01:02:04.000 Right. 0.99
01:02:04.000 And who gives a shit? 0.99
01:02:05.000 Because, I mean, the assumption underlying all these things is zero-sum thinking, right? 0.99
01:02:10.000 You know that?
01:02:10.000 You're familiar with that?
01:02:11.000 Yes, famine thinking.
01:02:12.000 Right, exactly.
01:02:13.000 And famine thinking came onto the scene after agriculture.
01:02:17.000 Before agriculture, hunter-gatherers, the way anthropologists describe it is there is an assumption of plentitude in hunter-gatherer societies.
01:02:25.000 And in farming societies, in every society since then, there's an assumption of scarcity.
01:02:30.000 It's a completely different way of looking at the world.
01:02:33.000 You also see it in—we were talking about religion—you see it in agricultural societies.
01:02:38.000 The gods are angry, jealous, temperamental, perverse.
01:02:42.000 The gods in hunter-gatherer societies are giving.
01:02:46.000 They're not even giving.
01:02:48.000 They're just like a source of richness, right?
01:02:50.000 It's a completely different way of looking at life, the world, each other.
01:02:54.000 It's amazing. 1.00
01:02:55.000 But they never invented shit. 0.99
01:02:57.000 They invented sharper arrows and things along those lines. 0.99
01:03:00.000 There was no cell phones.
01:03:01.000 If we're all hunter-gatherers, there'd be no internet.
01:03:03.000 There'd be no podcast right now.
01:03:05.000 You wouldn't be wearing glasses. 0.99
01:03:06.000 Shit would be weird. 0.99
01:03:08.000 I probably wouldn't need glasses. 1.00
01:03:10.000 You'd be healthier?
01:03:11.000 Do you think the glasses...
01:03:12.000 Is chemtrails making your vision go bad?
01:03:14.000 Yeah, the chemtrails in my eyes.
01:03:16.000 It's the birth control pills in the water.
01:03:19.000 World Health Organization works for the new world order.
01:03:24.000 The people that lived in these hunter-gatherer societies, though, they were very happy.
01:03:28.000 I don't necessarily want to do what they do, but they were very happy.
01:03:32.000 Well, you know, yeah.
01:03:33.000 I mean, this is what this book's about, right? 0.79
01:03:35.000 Sex at Dawn, by the way. 0.99
01:03:36.000 People are, what's this fucking book's name? 0.99
01:03:38.000 Oh, actually, I was thinking of the other one, the one I'm working on now. 0.99
01:03:41.000 Oh, the new book.
01:03:41.000 It's called Civilized to Death.
01:03:43.000 And it's about the modern world in conflict with our evolved nature.
01:03:48.000 But Get Sacks at Dawn now, read that before the new book comes out.
01:03:51.000 When is the new book going to come out?
01:03:52.000 About a year after I write it.
01:03:54.000 You haven't even started?
01:03:55.000 How dare you.
01:03:56.000 How dare you come in, mispronounce colostrum. 1.00
01:04:00.000 Fucking son of a B. You son of a B. I'm busy. 1.00
01:04:04.000 I'm busy. 0.91
01:04:04.000 Listen, you are. 0.91
01:04:05.000 You are very busy. 0.99
01:04:05.000 Duncan got me into this podcasting shit. 0.99
01:04:08.000 I didn't even know what a podcast was when I met Duncan. 0.98
01:04:12.000 Well, I'm glad you did.
01:04:14.000 It's so much fun.
01:04:15.000 I love it.
01:04:15.000 I wouldn't write books.
01:04:17.000 If I could do this for a living, I would just hang out and talk to cool, interesting people.
01:04:20.000 It's a more effective way of distributing information, too.
01:04:23.000 I'm amazed how many people listen.
01:04:24.000 We're getting like 15,000, 20,000 downloads at this point.
01:04:27.000 That's a lot.
01:04:28.000 That's really good.
01:04:29.000 Not Rogan numbers, but...
01:04:30.000 Well, whatever.
01:04:31.000 We started out, Brian and I, we got like 100 the first day we did it.
01:04:34.000 100 people watching on Ustream.
01:04:37.000 You guys are doing the video from the get-go.
01:04:39.000 Yeah, we started doing a video.
01:04:41.000 We're one of the few that doesn't, we don't do any editing of our shows.
01:04:46.000 They air warts and all, they go out there.
01:04:49.000 You know, some people, originally the big knock was that that was very unprofessional, that we should edit it.
01:04:54.000 But there's sort of a thrill to it that people know.
01:04:59.000 I think people appreciate the authenticity.
01:05:01.000 Yeah.
01:05:02.000 Yeah, it's like you're here.
01:05:04.000 And also, the conversations that we're having, like this conversation with you, you can not just acquire information much more easily than reading, but it also stimulates your desire to acquire new knowledge in a way that I don't even know if reading does.
01:05:19.000 It's like you get inspired by a variety.
01:05:22.000 It's almost like a magazine.
01:05:23.000 You get inspired by a variety of different ideas, and then you can go pursue those ideas on your own.
01:05:28.000 But they open up doors, and doors to me too, not just to the listeners.
01:05:33.000 There's a lot of just having these conversations, being able to sit down with a guy like you for three hours and just talk.
01:05:39.000 How would we do that?
01:05:40.000 If we did that normally, if we decided to have dinner together, we would be, what are you going to eat?
01:05:44.000 Oh, this here is really good.
01:05:46.000 And we'd be with other people, and they'd be having their thing.
01:05:50.000 You're right, it's extremely efficient.
01:05:52.000 I mean, my favorite thing about it is exactly what you said.
01:05:55.000 It gives me a reason to sit down for a while with someone who otherwise might not make time for me or have time.
01:06:04.000 They've got to think about their effectiveness.
01:06:06.000 Well, and also the committing to sitting down for like three hours because we're calling it a show.
01:06:11.000 The committing to just sitting here and doing this.
01:06:13.000 You know, it's not like checking your phone or I'm gonna...
01:06:16.000 What's on TV? When does this start?
01:06:18.000 Is this season of that in?
01:06:20.000 And, you know, look at this magazine I got.
01:06:22.000 Who took this picture?
01:06:23.000 You know what I mean?
01:06:24.000 All that stuff.
01:06:25.000 Yeah.
01:06:25.000 It's like life is a distraction.
01:06:27.000 This is almost like...
01:06:29.000 Yeah.
01:06:29.000 You're gonna lock yourself in.
01:06:31.000 Clink.
01:06:32.000 Across the table, in a weird way, we would never really sit.
01:06:34.000 You know, we'd sit on a couch.
01:06:35.000 You'd be over there, I'd be over here, we'd just chatting. 1.00
01:06:38.000 Watching a fucking TV, probably. 0.99
01:06:40.000 Yeah, most likely. 1.00
01:06:40.000 Which would be taking most of our time. 1.00
01:06:42.000 Or there'd be a music playing or something.
01:06:44.000 There'd be something going on where you're adding to the distraction of life itself.
01:06:49.000 Feeding each other flowers.
01:06:51.000 Feeding roses.
01:06:52.000 Feeding you a big fast food tray of roses.
01:06:55.000 What a strange dream. 1.00
01:06:56.000 I think Shaq's dick tasted like rose petals. 1.00
01:06:58.000 I would wonder what some one of those weirdo dream expert people would decipher that. 1.00
01:07:05.000 What would be their...
01:07:06.000 Google it.
01:07:07.000 There's a lot of dream dictionaries online.
01:07:08.000 Well, you remember Stanley Krippner.
01:07:10.000 He's a dream expert.
01:07:11.000 Yeah, I don't know what he would say about that.
01:07:13.000 Feeding a man roses.
01:07:16.000 Without the thorns, interestingly.
01:07:18.000 Yeah, it was just petals.
01:07:18.000 It was just petals.
01:07:20.000 Maybe it's deer because I know the deer.
01:07:22.000 So did you bag one?
01:07:24.000 Yes.
01:07:25.000 Was it buck season?
01:07:26.000 Doe season?
01:07:27.000 Well, it's both.
01:07:28.000 It's kind of a sad story.
01:07:30.000 Oh, it was fawn season?
01:07:31.000 No, no, no.
01:07:32.000 I didn't shoot one of those.
01:07:33.000 But eating rose petal dream interpretation.
01:07:36.000 Really?
01:07:37.000 It's on my Islamic dream.
01:07:39.000 Oh, my God.
01:07:41.000 My Islamic dream.
01:07:42.000 Please shut this off.
01:07:44.000 Shut this off before we get jihad.
01:07:46.000 Exactly.
01:07:47.000 I had nothing to do with that.
01:07:50.000 I shot a buck and wounded a doe.
01:07:53.000 I dropped my rifle because I fell, and apparently the scope was off on the rifle.
01:07:58.000 And the animal got wounded in its leg, and we had to follow it, but we couldn't find it.
01:08:03.000 We found a blood trail, and we followed it for several hours the next day, even looking for it.
01:08:08.000 We couldn't find the deer, so it got wounded.
01:08:10.000 It was very, very depressing.
01:08:12.000 Very sad.
01:08:13.000 And it was like two extreme opposites.
01:08:16.000 The buck I shot died instantly.
01:08:19.000 It was like, I have a large caliber rifle.
01:08:23.000 .270 Winchester?
01:08:24.000 .300 Win Mag.
01:08:25.000 .300.
01:08:26.000 And the idea behind it was like, I want to make sure that nothing gets wounded.
01:08:29.000 I want it to be as painless, as quick as possible.
01:08:32.000 I had my rifle sighted the day before.
01:08:35.000 We went to a range.
01:08:36.000 I shot a gang of rounds.
01:08:37.000 I shot 90 rounds before the day before we left and another 20 the day of.
01:08:42.000 And I've been practicing a lot.
01:08:44.000 So my accuracy is excellent.
01:08:46.000 I was ready to do it.
01:08:47.000 The idea behind it is very simple.
01:08:49.000 I mean, hunting is a very thrilling thing.
01:08:53.000 What I want to do this year, and this is in no judgment of anybody who's not doing it, but I want to be able to know exactly where all my meat comes from.
01:09:00.000 And I want it all to be wild meat.
01:09:03.000 I think it's better for you.
01:09:04.000 I think it's an ethical, much more ethical way than factory farming, certainly, and even more than agriculture, because that animal is living its life completely free and wild until the moment you pull that trigger.
01:09:17.000 And so my idea was to get all those ducks in a row, make sure that I'm shooting at an animal that I'm definitely going to hit.
01:09:24.000 The crosshairs are lined up on it perfectly. 0.99
01:09:27.000 Fucking scope is off. 0.99
01:09:29.000 Scope is off and the animal got hit in the shoulder. 0.99
01:09:31.000 So I wasn't sure if that was what the case was or if I just missed.
01:09:35.000 There's so much adrenaline going on and it's so depressing and so sad.
01:09:40.000 So I went to a range and I went with a marksman too.
01:09:45.000 And one of the guys we were with knows how to sight rifles, and he's like, yeah, this is off.
01:09:49.000 This is off quite a bit.
01:09:50.000 It was off by like six inches at 100 yards, which is quite a bit. 0.99
01:09:54.000 I mean, when you fall, and I was walking around these slippery hills with snow everywhere and logs, and These big, stupid moon boots that I was wearing that were insulated boots that were good to like 40 below zero, but you can't fucking walk in them. 0.99
01:10:09.000 I mean, they're enormous and they're stiff. 0.99
01:10:12.000 Their ankles don't bend, so you're like Frankensteining it.
01:10:15.000 Exactly, like ski boots.
01:10:16.000 Horrible.
01:10:16.000 But they keep your feet warm.
01:10:17.000 But I fell, and it was a huge, huge, depressing moment.
01:10:22.000 Very, very sad.
01:10:23.000 I mean, look, the animal will die, and it's probably dead already.
01:10:26.000 And if not, the coyotes will eat it anyway.
01:10:28.000 It's part of the cycle of life.
01:10:30.000 And they're trying to get rid of as many deer as they can up there.
01:10:32.000 They have a lot of deer.
01:10:33.000 And the deer are damaging a lot of their...
01:10:36.000 They're trying to replant forests up there.
01:10:38.000 And the deer eat all the saplings.
01:10:39.000 They eat the leaves off the oak trees and things along those lines.
01:10:42.000 They kill people in auto accidents.
01:10:44.000 They do, but I was obviously trying not to do that.
01:10:48.000 Yeah.
01:10:48.000 I was trying to make sure that it died instantly, like the first one.
01:10:52.000 The buck I shot was dead within seconds. 0.96
01:10:54.000 It was boom.
01:10:55.000 Then did you have it cleaned?
01:10:57.000 No, I did it.
01:10:58.000 I did it.
01:10:59.000 Oh, you gutted it?
01:11:00.000 Yeah, we gutted it, butchered it, everything.
01:11:01.000 Hung it up on a tree?
01:11:02.000 It took hours.
01:11:03.000 We did it in a garage.
01:11:05.000 We skinned it and the whole deal.
01:11:06.000 And it took hours to cut it down into portions.
01:11:09.000 But this is the right way to do it.
01:11:11.000 The last time we did it, we sent it to a butcher.
01:11:13.000 I have no idea if that was even my deer that I got back.
01:11:16.000 It tasted delicious.
01:11:17.000 It was awesome.
01:11:18.000 But I didn't see it.
01:11:19.000 I didn't see the whole process.
01:11:20.000 And to me, it's like I was missing a step.
01:11:23.000 I wonder that when you get the ashes back from someone who's been cremated. 1.00
01:11:26.000 Fuck no. 1.00
01:11:27.000 Like, really? 1.00
01:11:28.000 How do I know what's in here?
01:11:30.000 It's a stack of newspaper.
01:11:31.000 It's not your grandma. 1.00
01:11:32.000 It's like cocaine, and they just mix it with shit. 1.00
01:11:35.000 Yeah, it's just like they cut it. 1.00
01:11:36.000 They cut your grandmother with newspaper. 1.00
01:11:39.000 You might want to check out that book I mentioned earlier, The Omnivore's Dilemma, Michael Pollan.
01:11:44.000 Because the idea of that book was just, he said, I want to make one meal.
01:11:50.000 Where I know where everything came from.
01:11:52.000 Yeah.
01:11:52.000 Well, I'm doing that now.
01:11:53.000 I'm growing vegetables.
01:11:54.000 I ate broccoli from my garden last night.
01:11:56.000 I have a pretty serious garden now, and it's getting bigger.
01:11:59.000 And I have chickens now.
01:12:00.000 I have 14 chickens, and I just ordered seven more.
01:12:04.000 I'm getting seven more.
01:12:04.000 Where do you order them from?
01:12:05.000 Like, online?
01:12:05.000 There's a chicken factory.
01:12:07.000 I don't know.
01:12:08.000 I'll tell you.
01:12:08.000 I'll show you.
01:12:09.000 It's a lab that makes chicken. 0.84
01:12:10.000 You order them online.
01:12:11.000 They send them through the U.S. Postal Service, actually.
01:12:13.000 Really?
01:12:14.000 Nice.
01:12:14.000 They get there next day.
01:12:15.000 Yeah, and they're fine.
01:12:16.000 What do they call?
01:12:16.000 The Reds?
01:12:17.000 Something Reds? 0.65
01:12:18.000 Do you know what the breed is?
01:12:20.000 There's a gang of different breeds.
01:12:21.000 We have a bunch of different types of chickens. 0.62
01:12:23.000 So you're getting eggs from them?
01:12:24.000 Yeah, I get fresh eggs every day from these chickens. 0.97
01:12:27.000 And then on top of that, I'm getting vegetables from the garden.
01:12:30.000 And I'm trying to go...
01:12:31.000 By the end of 2014, my goal is to be all game meat.
01:12:35.000 Because I think if you're going to be a meat eater, and I've been a meat eater my whole life, I want to know where the food comes from, one.
01:12:41.000 I mean, it's great if you can go to a farm that you know the guy's taking care of his cows.
01:12:45.000 Like Doug Duren, the guy whose farm that I hunted on this weekend, he has cows, and he grass feeds them.
01:12:51.000 He even gave me some of his meat, and I was happy to get that.
01:12:54.000 He gave me a couple of steaks.
01:12:56.000 You know exactly where that came from.
01:12:57.000 I know exactly what he feeds it.
01:12:58.000 He knows exactly what that cow's been through. 1.00
01:13:00.000 There's no hormones, no bullshit. 1.00
01:13:01.000 They're just cows eating grass. 1.00
01:13:03.000 This is what it's supposed to be.
01:13:04.000 Right.
01:13:05.000 But most of the time, you don't know what that relationship is between the farmer or the butcher.
01:13:10.000 And you can assume it's bad.
01:13:12.000 If it's industrial.
01:13:13.000 Certainly if it's factory farm.
01:13:15.000 And also the fact that most of the steak that we're getting is fed grain.
01:13:18.000 And those animals are not supposed to be eating corn. 1.00
01:13:21.000 And antibiotics out the fucking ass. 1.00
01:13:23.000 One of the reasons being is because their body doesn't process corn well. 1.00
01:13:27.000 So they get all these abscesses and all these issues with their stomachs.
01:13:31.000 Look, you know...
01:13:34.000 Again, I'm not trying to judge.
01:13:36.000 I'm not saying go out and do what I'm doing.
01:13:39.000 But I think knowing what I know about the whole process, seeing documentaries like Food, Inc., and just knowing what I know about, I don't want to do that.
01:13:49.000 I don't want to be a vegetarian.
01:13:51.000 But if I had a choice between being a vegetarian and keeping the factory farm system in place the way it is, I'd probably go with being a vegetarian.
01:14:00.000 I would just eat eggs.
01:14:01.000 I would just eat eggs and vegetables and things along those lines.
01:14:05.000 But I like meat.
01:14:06.000 And I think there's a lot of health benefits.
01:14:09.000 I think there's a lot of health benefits to meat.
01:14:11.000 I really do.
01:14:12.000 I find it delicious.
01:14:14.000 And I've always said this, but it's not like those animals are going to live forever and become magic.
01:14:18.000 I mean, they have a short lifespan. 0.98
01:14:20.000 Deer, if the deer is lucky as fuck, they hit five years old. 0.99
01:14:25.000 They have to be lucky as fuck to not get eaten by a predator, hit by a car, shot by a hunter. 0.99
01:14:32.000 Or froze to death, which is the big issue with deer. 0.99
01:14:36.000 Especially in non-farmlands. 0.99
01:14:38.000 See, in the place where we're at, these deer are fat as fuck because they're grazing on crops. 0.99
01:14:42.000 They're eating alfalfa. 0.99
01:14:44.000 A lot of these places, they actually grow food plots just for deer. 0.97
01:14:49.000 Because deer hunting, first of all, the opening day is fucking crazy. 0.94
01:14:54.000 We were out there. 0.98
01:14:55.000 It was like 5.30 in the morning.
01:14:56.000 We were out there an hour before it got light.
01:14:58.000 And you hear, as soon as the sun starts cracking, you hear, boom!
01:15:03.000 Boom! 0.99
01:15:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:15:05.000 It's like you're at a war zone.
01:15:06.000 Deer Day in Pennsylvania.
01:15:08.000 It was a school holiday.
01:15:09.000 Remember that?
01:15:09.000 I remember seeing people driving home from hunting with a dead deer strapped to their pinto.
01:15:15.000 Yep.
01:15:15.000 Yep.
01:15:16.000 Yeah.
01:15:16.000 Yeah.
01:15:17.000 Yeah, you got to be careful first day of deer season.
01:15:19.000 Yes, you do.
01:15:20.000 A lot of dogs and cows get shot and hunters.
01:15:22.000 Yes, yes.
01:15:23.000 So were you wearing like an orange camo?
01:15:25.000 Yeah.
01:15:26.000 No, no, no.
01:15:26.000 Orange.
01:15:27.000 Just orange, bright orange vest.
01:15:28.000 We were in a blind, sitting there at zero degrees outside.
01:15:31.000 Up in a tree.
01:15:32.000 No, no, no.
01:15:32.000 One time I went up in a tree, but it was for a short amount of time.
01:15:36.000 I only hunted up in a tree for about an hour.
01:15:38.000 Most of the time was in a blind that was on the ground.
01:15:42.000 It's intense because it's nothing, nothing, nothing.
01:15:45.000 You're waiting.
01:15:45.000 You're freezing.
01:15:46.000 I mean, fucking freezing. 0.99
01:15:47.000 It's fine if you're walking around. 0.99
01:15:49.000 If you're well-insulated and you're walking around, it's actually kind of pleasant because you feel warm because your clothes are good.
01:15:55.000 You're wearing wool and down and all these different things. 0.98
01:15:58.000 But when you just sit down, nothing fucking keeps you warm. 0.90
01:16:01.000 You have to tense your body and release and tense your body and release. 0.97
01:16:04.000 Those chemical bags?
01:16:06.000 Those help.
01:16:06.000 Those help.
01:16:07.000 They keep your feet warm.
01:16:08.000 I didn't figure out those until the second day.
01:16:10.000 They made a big difference.
01:16:11.000 And you put them in your gloves.
01:16:12.000 You hold onto these little bags.
01:16:13.000 And they help.
01:16:14.000 But your face is still falling off. 1.00
01:16:16.000 You're still sitting there freezing your dick off. 1.00
01:16:18.000 Your nose will not stop running. 1.00
01:16:19.000 But it's quiet, quiet, quiet.
01:16:21.000 Nothing, nothing, nothing.
01:16:22.000 And focus.
01:16:23.000 You hear a snap. 0.99
01:16:24.000 And you look over like, oh shit, there's a deer. 1.00
01:16:26.000 Oh shit, there's a deer. 1.00
01:16:28.000 Yeah, it was pretty exciting. 1.00
01:16:29.000 Very exciting.
01:16:30.000 We had to decide whether or not the deer was big enough for me to shoot.
01:16:33.000 Because this guy is trying to raise large deer on his property.
01:16:38.000 But since they're trying to get rid of as many as possible right now because they're growing, he kind of gave us the green light to shoot a younger deer.
01:16:44.000 So the deer was only like two years old.
01:16:45.000 They like them to grow like five years.
01:16:47.000 They get these big, crazy antlers.
01:16:50.000 Big antlers are cool, but I was doing it for meat.
01:16:53.000 That's what I want to do it for from now on.
01:16:55.000 I want to just try to do that every few months and bring back 100 pounds of meat or shoot an elk, shoot a large animal, and just try to live off wild animals.
01:17:06.000 You know, my wife's from Africa, from Mozambique.
01:17:09.000 I'm leaving in two days.
01:17:10.000 We're going to Mozambique.
01:17:11.000 First time ever for me to be in Africa.
01:17:13.000 Whoa.
01:17:14.000 But...
01:17:15.000 One time we were, she was raised in a rural, her grandmother's house was in a village, an African village, and she spent weekends out there all the time.
01:17:24.000 So anyway, one day we're in Amsterdam.
01:17:26.000 We're sitting in Amsterdam.
01:17:27.000 It's a beautiful spring day by a canal, and these little ducks go by, and she's looking at these ducks, like really staring at these ducks, and she's got a weird look on her face.
01:17:36.000 I say, what are you thinking?
01:17:38.000 She said, oh, I was just thinking how much I'd love to kill that duck and rip its guts out and stuff it with garlic and herbs and rosemary. 0.99
01:17:45.000 Look at my grandmother. 0.98
01:17:47.000 My wife grew up ringing necks of chickens and ducks and geese.
01:17:53.000 It's no big deal for her.
01:17:55.000 It's like whatever.
01:17:56.000 That's what you do. 0.97
01:17:56.000 She thinks we're silly. 0.97
01:17:57.000 Americans are ridiculous with our disconnect from where things came from. 1.00
01:18:01.000 Well, there's this woman that I know who's raising her son to be a vegan. 0.99
01:18:05.000 She wears a leather jacket, she's got leather shoes on, and she eats meat.
01:18:09.000 Oh, but he's got to be a vegan.
01:18:11.000 She wants the kid to be a vegan. 1.00
01:18:11.000 The kid's fucking three. 1.00
01:18:13.000 That's fucked up. 1.00
01:18:13.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:18:15.000 Somebody needs to call Child Protective Services.
01:18:17.000 I mean, I don't know what kind of B12 they're giving the kid.
01:18:20.000 I mean, hopefully they're giving them B12. They say a lot of people that they get their B12 actually from insects.
01:18:26.000 From just the amount of insects that you eat inadvertently.
01:18:28.000 That are mixed into your burger?
01:18:30.000 Yeah, mixed into your vegetables.
01:18:31.000 Oh, not burgers.
01:18:32.000 I started taking B12 every day a couple weeks ago.
01:18:34.000 Such a great energy boost. 1.00
01:18:36.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00
01:18:36.000 It's great for your body, too. 1.00
01:18:37.000 You know, Shroom Tech Sport, one of its big ingredients, besides the Cordyceps mushroom, is B12. Fantastic for endurance.
01:18:43.000 I mean, they used to give it to us intramuscularly when we were wrestling.
01:18:47.000 If, like, someone was feeling tired or down, they'd shoot you, give you a shot of B12. Because a lot of guys were drained as fuck from losing weight. 0.99
01:18:56.000 Didn't Air Force pilots use that as well? 0.99
01:18:58.000 Oh, yeah.
01:18:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:18:59.000 A lot of people. 0.80
01:18:59.000 The best way is the shot. 0.80
01:19:02.000 There's sublingual.
01:19:04.000 There's actually a good company that makes a spray that you use sublingually that works pretty good, but nothing beats the old injectoroni.
01:19:11.000 Bang! 1.00
01:19:12.000 B12 right in your system.
01:19:14.000 Yeah, that's a big issue with vegans, not getting B12, because primarily I think it comes from animals.
01:19:20.000 But they've actually brought this vegan couple to trial for manslaughter, murder, whatever it was, because their child died from malnutrition because the kid wasn't getting enough B12. Their baby died because they didn't give it the proper vitamins because they insisted on a vegan diet.
01:19:38.000 So in not harming animals, they harmed their child.
01:19:42.000 Life eats life.
01:19:43.000 That's a real issue.
01:19:45.000 Factory farming is evil.
01:19:46.000 I agree.
01:19:46.000 I'm with you.
01:19:47.000 I think it goes along with the same thing that we were talking about earlier with corporations being that we lost the script and humanity is not favored over finances, over ones and zeros.
01:19:59.000 Humanity should be favored above all else.
01:20:01.000 It should be the most important thing.
01:20:03.000 Exactly.
01:20:03.000 The corporations should be serving us.
01:20:04.000 Yes.
01:20:05.000 How did we end up serving the corporations?
01:20:07.000 Well, they are us, and they are because it's a game, because it's a cumulative game.
01:20:13.000 You can figure out how to acquire more, and there's clear benefits to being The guy who has the giant mansion who gets driven around in a Rolls Royce.
01:20:21.000 He's got a G5. He flies his own jet.
01:20:24.000 There's all those benefits in being that ruthless fuckhead. 0.99
01:20:28.000 But you know, maybe I'm going to sound like one of these vegans here, but I've known a lot of these guys with the yachts and the mansions, and they're not really happier. 0.99
01:20:39.000 They're not actually happier.
01:20:41.000 In fact, a lot of them are much less happy, certainly, than people suppose. 1.00
01:20:46.000 Because when you get that much shit, then your life becomes about your shit. 1.00
01:20:50.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:20:51.000 You got that much money.
01:20:52.000 Where are you going to invest it?
01:20:53.000 People are always trying to get it from you.
01:20:57.000 What is it?
01:20:57.000 Freedom's another word for nothing left to lose, right?
01:21:00.000 That's a different kind of freedom.
01:21:01.000 But I think there's a middle path.
01:21:02.000 And I think we make a mistake by assuming that people are...
01:21:07.000 Necessarily going to be happier when they get more.
01:21:10.000 No, money is one...
01:21:11.000 There's a broad range of needs that a human has.
01:21:16.000 And in this society, you need a little money.
01:21:18.000 Because you need to be able to figure out how to pay for food and shelter.
01:21:22.000 The studies do show that happiness goes up.
01:21:25.000 From like $7,000 a year to $40,000 a year.
01:21:29.000 And then after $40,000 a year, it tapers off.
01:21:32.000 Yeah, I was thinking once your needs are met.
01:21:34.000 Once your needs are met, everything after that is not about happiness.
01:21:39.000 I was explaining this to a friend of mine that one of the big things that happened to me when I started doing well and started making enough money, I mean, it was not rich by any stretch of the imagination, but when I first started doing well as a comedian was that I didn't feel worried anymore.
01:21:54.000 Like about where my bills are getting paid.
01:21:56.000 Because every month was like a fucking terrifying struggle to pay for food and pay for gas. 0.94
01:22:03.000 It was always like barely under the wire. 0.98
01:22:05.000 I'm paying my rent three days late every month because I didn't have it.
01:22:09.000 It was always like that.
01:22:10.000 And once that was alleviated, it was a huge pressure release.
01:22:14.000 That's what makes you happy.
01:22:15.000 When you can go to a restaurant and not worry about what you order.
01:22:19.000 That makes you happy.
01:22:20.000 Everything after that...
01:22:22.000 You get used to.
01:22:23.000 You get used to a big house.
01:22:24.000 It's just as nice to have a small house.
01:22:26.000 Sometimes a small house is better.
01:22:28.000 It's cozier.
01:22:28.000 Everybody's connected.
01:22:30.000 That's the thing.
01:22:31.000 The greatest predictor of happiness, once you get past that level of subsistence or you can take a vacation, you're not worried about paying your bills and all that, The greatest predictor of happiness is community, a sense of community, interconnection with other people.
01:22:47.000 Shooting ourselves in the foot with the wealth is that one of the things that happens with wealth is that we become isolated and insulated from other people.
01:22:56.000 What's the difference between comfort and numbness?
01:23:01.000 I used to travel backpack all over the world.
01:23:04.000 And sometimes I'd meet somebody and they'd be like, you don't know, man, you gotta come with me on my private jet.
01:23:10.000 We stay at the five-star hotels.
01:23:12.000 Those people didn't see anything.
01:23:14.000 The five-star hotels are the same wherever you go.
01:23:17.000 It's a different beach out front, but that's it.
01:23:20.000 You're not really meeting any of the local people.
01:23:22.000 Yeah.
01:23:23.000 I mean, yeah, whatever.
01:23:25.000 You know what I'm talking about.
01:23:26.000 Yeah.
01:23:27.000 There's an isolation that comes with money.
01:23:29.000 And I'm not just talking about wealthy people.
01:23:31.000 I'm talking on a social level as well.
01:23:33.000 We're much more, Americans are much more isolated socially than Indians or Cubans or Brazilians of lower classes. 0.65
01:23:42.000 We pay for the money is what I'm saying.
01:23:45.000 Yeah, I see that.
01:23:48.000 I mean, it makes sense.
01:23:49.000 And I think that society as a whole gets really weird when you have cities, too.
01:23:54.000 You know, Jim Norton, who's a good buddy of mine, lives in an apartment in New York City.
01:23:58.000 And he lives in a building with probably a thousand people.
01:24:01.000 I mean, I don't know how many people live in the building.
01:24:02.000 I go...
01:24:03.000 We're good to go.
01:24:22.000 And you have a little chitchat.
01:24:23.000 Well, hey, if you ever need anything, I'm next door.
01:24:25.000 That doesn't even go on.
01:24:26.000 And there's a thousand people living in a box stacked on top of each other.
01:24:31.000 And that is the norm.
01:24:33.000 Instead of the village.
01:24:35.000 Like, one of the things that I found really fascinating about your book was Sex at Dawn.
01:24:40.000 Was the way you described the interconnectedness of these small societies, that the idea of promiscuity that we have today, our idea of it is someone going to a bar and picking up a total random stranger and having sex with someone all willy-nilly and crazy.
01:24:57.000 That's not what promiscuity originated as.
01:25:00.000 It originated as just having sex with a bunch of different people that were also in the tribe, and it was the norm. 0.59
01:25:06.000 And you knew them.
01:25:07.000 Yes.
01:25:07.000 Like you've known them for years.
01:25:09.000 Yeah.
01:25:09.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:25:10.000 So we try to make a big point of that so that people wouldn't get confused by our use of the word promiscuity. 0.93
01:25:17.000 Because as you say, it means now screwing a stranger.
01:25:21.000 And people don't recognize that in prehistory there really weren't any strangers. 0.93
01:25:25.000 Yeah.
01:25:25.000 You know?
01:25:26.000 So you're talking about that apartment building and how nobody knows each other.
01:25:30.000 It reminds me of a book I just read recently researching this other one.
01:25:33.000 It's called Paradise Built in Hell.
01:25:36.000 And it's studies of the way people react to disasters, you know, and contemporary mainstream economic theory, which is sort of based on the idea that we're all selfish and trying, you know, self-optimizers,
01:25:51.000 always looking for advantage for ourselves.
01:25:53.000 That's sort of like built into economic theory.
01:25:56.000 Would predict that in disasters that people would be even more like that.
01:26:00.000 You know, they'd be even more protective of their resources.
01:26:04.000 Whereas what actually happens is that in disasters, people start helping each other, strangers.
01:26:10.000 You know, like those people in that building, that's when they'll meet each other when there's an earthquake, right? 0.96
01:26:14.000 And like, holy shit, did you feel that? 0.96
01:26:17.000 Or, you know, Twin Towers, people were so happy after that. 0.90
01:26:20.000 And I think that's also why people...
01:26:23.000 Enjoy.
01:26:24.000 I'm not sure enjoy is the right word, but you ever heard of Sebastian Junger?
01:26:29.000 Yes.
01:26:30.000 His book War?
01:26:31.000 I saw him being interviewed about that.
01:26:33.000 He's a CNN correspondent.
01:26:34.000 Is that what he is?
01:26:35.000 Well, he's a war correspondent.
01:26:38.000 War correspondent.
01:26:38.000 And he was embedded with a marine platoon in the Korendal Valley for like six months in Afghanistan.
01:26:45.000 And this was like they were at the tip of the spear, right, where they were getting attacked every day because they were like...
01:26:51.000 In this point in a valley where the Taliban were above them on the mountain shooting down into their base.
01:26:57.000 It was just a horrible thing.
01:26:58.000 So he was there for six months, I think.
01:27:02.000 And he was being interviewed about the book.
01:27:04.000 It's called War. 0.88
01:27:05.000 And they said to him, so why did these guys do that?
01:27:10.000 I mean, they don't care about geopolitics.
01:27:13.000 They're not thinking about oil pipelines and Chinese expansion, whatever the guys in the Pentagon are thinking of.
01:27:20.000 Why the hell do they do it?
01:27:21.000 And his answer was, love.
01:27:24.000 Right?
01:27:25.000 That's what makes these guys go to war.
01:27:26.000 Love for each other.
01:27:28.000 That they have a sense of community when you're under fire, right?
01:27:31.000 Like we talked about a disaster in New York or an earthquake or whatever.
01:27:35.000 But imagine like every damn day is an earthquake and you're with the same dudes every day and you're depending on each other constantly.
01:27:42.000 It creates deep bonds of love that people really miss when they're gone. 0.70
01:27:48.000 And I think those are the bonds our ancestors had.
01:27:51.000 Yeah, there's an intensity to life in those circumstances.
01:27:54.000 And an immediacy.
01:27:55.000 Yeah.
01:27:55.000 You know, because any day, I mean, you were out hunting.
01:27:58.000 When you fell, that gun could have gone off and you could be dead now.
01:28:00.000 No, I didn't have bullets in the chamber. 0.98
01:28:02.000 I'm not retarded. 0.99
01:28:03.000 Okay, well, I'm illustrating a point. 1.00
01:28:05.000 A hunter gathers out with his fucking, you know, poison-tipped arrows. 0.99
01:28:09.000 If he trips, you know, that could be... 1.00
01:28:09.000 Well, yeah, you could fall and break your neck. 1.00
01:28:11.000 Or a leopard can kill you, or a snake can get you, or, you know, whatever.
01:28:14.000 You can...
01:28:15.000 The immediacy of death is, I think, something...
01:28:18.000 It's a tonic.
01:28:19.000 It makes life immediately exciting.
01:28:23.000 Do you think that maybe that's one of the reasons why people feel so unfulfilled, is that they're not experiencing highs and lows, they're just experiencing a drone...
01:28:30.000 Like a daily drone of traffic and a job that's mundane.
01:28:33.000 Is that what causes all this depression?
01:28:36.000 Yeah, I think so.
01:28:37.000 And suicides and all sorts of horrible results of this.
01:28:44.000 What I said earlier, what's the difference between comfort and numbness?
01:28:48.000 Right?
01:28:49.000 Comfort is...
01:28:50.000 Think about what we associate with comfort.
01:28:52.000 Pillows, blankets, sleeping bags, jackets.
01:28:55.000 Oh, great.
01:28:56.000 Cushions.
01:28:57.000 Things that stop us from feeling.
01:28:59.000 Right?
01:29:00.000 That's what comfort is.
01:29:01.000 It's a lack of feeling.
01:29:02.000 It may be a lack of negative feeling, but if you block negative feeling, you're also blocking positive feeling.
01:29:09.000 Antidepressants.
01:29:09.000 They don't just make you stop being depressed.
01:29:11.000 They make you stop feeling.
01:29:13.000 They take the highs and the lows.
01:29:15.000 They take numbness.
01:29:16.000 They make you numb.
01:29:16.000 They create numbness.
01:29:17.000 Exactly.
01:29:18.000 Yeah, there's a lot of people that I've talked to that have had them and then gotten off of them.
01:29:21.000 They've just lost time.
01:29:23.000 It's like, That year meant nothing.
01:29:26.000 There was missing time.
01:29:28.000 That year was just a series of things that went on that I had no emotional connection to whatsoever.
01:29:33.000 And that's the antidote for this crazy society that we live in that's completely unnatural.
01:29:37.000 And all the reward systems that are set up in our bodies from thousands of years of DNA and learning, all that stuff is just never appeased.
01:29:49.000 There's no real thrills.
01:29:52.000 Your real thrill is like going and buying some illegal drug from someone and just closing your door and doing it when no one knows. 1.00
01:29:59.000 Fuck you, I'm doing heroin. 1.00
01:30:01.000 Yeah, and there's a ritual. 1.00
01:30:03.000 I mean, a lot of the junkies find the hardest thing about kicking heroin is the loss of ritual and community.
01:30:10.000 The junkie community.
01:30:12.000 The junkie community.
01:30:13.000 You're hanging out with the same people.
01:30:15.000 You've got this thing in common. 0.99
01:30:16.000 You've got the ritual, the burning, the measuring, the syringes, the whole shit. 1.00
01:30:21.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:30:22.000 I mean, I've been interviewing a lot of addiction specialists recently.
01:30:25.000 Did you have Carl Hart on here?
01:30:26.000 No.
01:30:27.000 Oh, he's cool.
01:30:28.000 He's a really interesting guy.
01:30:30.000 Carl Hart.
01:30:30.000 What does Carl Hart do?
01:30:31.000 K or C? C. He's a neurology professor at Columbia University.
01:30:36.000 H-A or H-E-R? H-A-R-T. H-A-R-T. No, I think I sent you an email about him because he was coming out to do the Bill Maher show like a month ago or something.
01:30:45.000 He's got a book out called High Price.
01:30:49.000 It's sort of an autobiographical account of him being born in Miami, wrong part of town.
01:30:56.000 He's a black guy, low income, and I don't remember if it's his brother or his buddies growing up.
01:31:05.000 Most of them are in jail. 0.65
01:31:07.000 He grew up in that inner city drug scene, right?
01:31:11.000 And through good luck and some people who were impressed by him, he ended up getting a PhD and now he's a tenured professor at Columbia.
01:31:19.000 But he's a dude from that world.
01:31:21.000 And so he's talking about drugs with a very knowledgeable, realistic understanding of what they are and what kind of people use them and why they use them.
01:31:31.000 And so he argues that Drugs aren't addictive.
01:31:35.000 What's happening is these people are in this absolutely impossible situation. 1.00
01:31:39.000 And as you say, they go get the drugs and get behind a door and say, fuck you, because it's like the only escape they've got. 1.00
01:31:48.000 Yeah, they're unfulfilled. 1.00
01:31:49.000 The idea of the hunter-gatherer being a fulfilling life, like that lifestyle being a fulfilling life, has really been appealing to me lately.
01:31:56.000 It's one of the reasons why I started this project of 2014 to live off only game meat.
01:32:01.000 Because I started seeing these documentaries, like the Warner Herzog documentary on the taiga, Happy People.
01:32:07.000 Oh, that's a fantastic film.
01:32:08.000 Isn't it amazing?
01:32:08.000 I mean, I love everything Herzog's done.
01:32:10.000 Yeah.
01:32:11.000 I've seen all of them.
01:32:12.000 But that's a wonderful one, yeah.
01:32:14.000 There's a realness to those people.
01:32:15.000 And then there's also these Alaska shows that I like, like Life Below Zero is one of them, where it's all people that live either below or right above the Arctic Circle, or right below or above the Arctic Circle.
01:32:28.000 Some of them 140 miles above the Arctic Circle. 0.98
01:32:30.000 I mean, they're just fucking freezing their ass off. 0.98
01:32:32.000 But they're happy. 0.99
01:32:33.000 They have a task.
01:32:35.000 It's not my life.
01:32:36.000 It's not what I want to do.
01:32:37.000 Yeah.
01:32:37.000 They're missing a lot of things that I enjoy, but there's something about this life that they're living that creates these stable, happy people.
01:32:46.000 If you look at reality shows, reality shows drive me fucking crazy, and I think they should because there's something about putting people on television for no reason and then following them because they're on television for no reason.
01:33:00.000 Keeping up with the Kardashians. 0.95
01:33:02.000 The Kardashians are just some normal folks.
01:33:04.000 I'm sure they're no better or no worse than most of our neighbors.
01:33:07.000 But when you're following these unexceptional people that have nothing to contribute, they're not doing anything.
01:33:13.000 They're not releasing songs, they're not writing books, they're not contributing to the cultural awareness.
01:33:19.000 There's nothing going on there, but yet you follow them anyway because they're being broadcast and it becomes something that you lock into.
01:33:26.000 You're dealing with people of an exceptionally low character, nonsense talking, you listen to the things they care about, the things they say.
01:33:34.000 They're essentially children eating the fat of this society, this oozing, big, fat, sloppy society that just lets them pull up to the trough and feed.
01:33:46.000 And because of that, they never are pressured to develop character and true identity and be exceptional people in the way that these hunter-gatherer people are.
01:33:55.000 I've watched these subsistence shows.
01:33:57.000 You're dealing with these really solid people.
01:33:59.000 They get up. 0.99
01:34:00.000 It's fucking 20 below zero. 0.99
01:34:01.000 They have to feed their dogs. 0.99
01:34:02.000 They have to pull together these salmon wheels to gather up all these fish so that they can feed their dogs. 1.00
01:34:08.000 If they don't get 200 fish, 200 pounds of fish, they're going to have to kill one of their fucking dogs. 1.00
01:34:12.000 Because they can't feed the goddamn thing, so they have to put it out of its misery. 1.00
01:34:15.000 And this one guy was talking about how he had to kill all his dogs one year. 1.00
01:34:17.000 He had to kill all his fucking dogs because he couldn't feed them. 1.00
01:34:20.000 I mean, they're different kinds of people than someone like, I hate red shoes! 1.00
01:34:23.000 Why did you give me red shoes?
01:34:25.000 Oh my god, my feet are fat.
01:34:27.000 They're not fat. 1.00
01:34:27.000 Shut up. 1.00
01:34:28.000 She knows my feet are fat. 1.00
01:34:29.000 And then you cut away.
01:34:31.000 She's always telling me my feet are fat.
01:34:33.000 And then when I say my feet are fat, she's like, no, they're not. 1.00
01:34:35.000 Well, make up your mind, bitch. 1.00
01:34:36.000 I mean, that kind of nonsense distraction when you come home from a day of work and you're all fucked up on Zoloft and you're just staring at this stupid fucking show. 1.00
01:34:46.000 Like, what is that? 1.00
01:34:47.000 What is that?
01:34:49.000 I mean, is that like some sort of a way that this machine... 0.98
01:34:53.000 It has of getting us to continue to contribute, continue feeding this machine, continue buying things and becoming a part of this weird process we have where all we do is just create new items and blocks of fucking things and stuff your house filled with shit that you buy and everything that you buy just continues to contribute to this process of constantly creating new shit. 0.98
01:35:19.000 That's it, man. 0.99
01:35:19.000 Keep running on the wheel. 0.99
01:35:21.000 Instead.
01:35:21.000 All they care about is that the wheel keeps spinning faster and faster if possible.
01:35:25.000 It doesn't matter why, right?
01:35:27.000 I mean, I remember listening to this interview with a football coach a few years ago.
01:35:32.000 It was a great, great moment.
01:35:34.000 I don't remember who he was, but they said, what's the key to being a great coach?
01:35:37.000 He said, well, you've got to be smart enough to really understand the game, but not smart enough to see how little it all matters.
01:35:46.000 I thought, well, that sums up just about everything, you know? 1.00
01:35:49.000 Because if you think about it, you realize, like, this is all bullshit. 0.98
01:35:52.000 You know, the entire enterprise of Western civilization is not leading to happiness. 0.99
01:35:58.000 It's leading away from happiness.
01:36:01.000 Higher suicide rates, higher depression rates, higher lack of life satisfaction. 0.98
01:36:07.000 Plus, we're destroying the fisheries, we're destroying the fucking planet, you know, bit by bit. 0.99
01:36:15.000 Right. 0.98
01:36:37.000 In the book, I'm not advocating that we go back to hunter-gatherer societies, although partial steps like what you're doing are great.
01:36:45.000 Not because it's going to save the world, but because it'll enrich your life and your kids' lives.
01:36:50.000 But the whole I'd miss this or that thing is kind of like a non-issue because if you were raised in that society, then you wouldn't know to miss it.
01:37:01.000 So it's not about you or me becoming hunter-gatherers.
01:37:04.000 It's about looking at these two approaches to life.
01:37:09.000 Independently.
01:37:10.000 And saying, okay, the people who are born and raised in those traditions, what's the outcome?
01:37:14.000 Who's happier?
01:37:15.000 Who's better off?
01:37:16.000 Who has greater life satisfaction?
01:37:18.000 Who has better health?
01:37:19.000 You know, look at all these different parameters.
01:37:21.000 There's a great book, Don't Sleep, There Are Snakes.
01:37:26.000 It's about the Pinacha people of the upper Amazon.
01:37:29.000 This missionary went to live with him.
01:37:32.000 And he's the only Westerner who speaks their language.
01:37:34.000 It's a very unusual language.
01:37:36.000 Daniel Everett.
01:37:38.000 And so he went to live with them, learned the language, and eventually they convinced him to adopt their spiritual traditions rather than the other way around.
01:37:49.000 He abandoned the church.
01:37:51.000 I don't remember which church sent him.
01:37:53.000 But he talks a lot about happiness, satisfaction.
01:37:57.000 He says some psychologists came and visited the village when he was there.
01:38:02.000 And these are hunter-gatherer people with very little contact with the outside world.
01:38:06.000 And the psychologist said, man, I've never seen anyone happy this much.
01:38:13.000 And he said the way you judge it is you take videos and you look at how much of the time they're laughing or smiling.
01:38:19.000 And he said they laugh about everything.
01:38:21.000 Their house falls down.
01:38:22.000 They're laughing.
01:38:23.000 Someone, you know, you're embarrassed.
01:38:25.000 You laugh.
01:38:25.000 Like, everything is about laughter.
01:38:27.000 It's a very interesting society, a real look into the mentality of these people.
01:38:33.000 One of the things that's really striking about them is that they don't, you know, we're talking about focus, right?
01:38:38.000 They don't have a sense of future or past that extends beyond focus.
01:38:43.000 It didn't pass beyond the generation of the grandfathers.
01:38:46.000 So when the missionary showed up and started talking about Jesus, They'd be like, okay, did you know this guy?
01:38:53.000 And he's like, no, no, this was a long time ago.
01:38:56.000 Did your grandfather know him?
01:38:58.000 No, no, this was before my grandfather.
01:39:00.000 End of conversation.
01:39:01.000 They were done.
01:39:01.000 They're done.
01:39:02.000 That's like, then it's meaningless.
01:39:04.000 Wow.
01:39:05.000 You know, there's no connection between you and this story.
01:39:08.000 I don't want to hear about this. 1.00
01:39:09.000 Fuck it. 1.00
01:39:09.000 They just walk away. 1.00
01:39:10.000 That's intelligent.
01:39:11.000 Absolutely not interesting.
01:39:13.000 Yeah.
01:39:13.000 I mean, it doesn't, you know, obviously it's nice to have history.
01:39:16.000 You know, we have a lot of it and you can learn a lot from reading about Yeah.
01:39:23.000 Yeah.
01:39:25.000 Yeah.
01:39:42.000 It's like, come on.
01:39:45.000 We don't buy it.
01:39:47.000 If you're talking about a guy who's got a half-million-dollar house, and he drives a Cadillac and works all day, and you're like, well, listen, we've decided to start a commune, and we're going to be really happy.
01:39:59.000 We're going to grow our own food.
01:40:00.000 What are we going to do for money?
01:40:02.000 We're not going to have any money. 0.99
01:40:03.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99
01:40:04.000 Look at this house I got. 1.00
01:40:05.000 Look at this car.
01:40:06.000 Come on, I need to pay for gas.
01:40:07.000 It costs a lot of money, just electric bills, $500 a month.
01:40:12.000 People get this idea in their head that this thing that you're doing, this part of this role that you're playing in this society, is the only way to be happy.
01:40:21.000 It's inevitable, yeah.
01:40:22.000 To step outside of that and have a radical restructuring of what you do is really impossible.
01:40:27.000 You know why? 1.00
01:40:28.000 Because you're always going to have to pay taxes on that fucking house. 1.00
01:40:32.000 Even if you buy your house, even if you own your land, eh, you don't. 0.99
01:40:35.000 Sorry. 0.99
01:40:36.000 Every year you have to pay fucking property tax. 1.00
01:40:38.000 Period. 1.00
01:40:38.000 In Spain, it doesn't work that way. 1.00
01:40:40.000 It shouldn't work that way.
01:40:41.000 Yeah, you pay the tax up front when you buy it, and then you're done.
01:40:44.000 That's it.
01:40:44.000 It's yours.
01:40:45.000 Unless you're talking about gigantic chunks of land, like if someone's got a goddamn huge cattle ranch that's got 3,000 acres.
01:40:52.000 It's obvious they're using up a lot of resources, a lot of water. 0.54
01:40:56.000 You should probably pay some sort of a tax on that. 0.98
01:40:58.000 If you're just a guy who's got a $150,000, $200,000 house and you worked your whole life to earn that house and you bought it and paid for it, you should be fucking done. 0.97
01:41:07.000 Just like you're done with your car. 0.99
01:41:08.000 You don't have to keep paying your fucking car every year. 0.99
01:41:11.000 You don't have to like, what's your car worth this year? 1.00
01:41:12.000 Well, you owe us 10% of that, boy.
01:41:14.000 I paid it already.
01:41:15.000 What are you talking about?
01:41:16.000 I paid sales tax. 1.00
01:41:17.000 You guys got a cut when I bought the fucking thing. 1.00
01:41:20.000 Why do you keep getting a cut every year? 1.00
01:41:22.000 What is this property tax nonsense? 1.00
01:41:24.000 It's stupid. 1.00
01:41:25.000 It's ridiculous and it keeps you on the tit. 1.00
01:41:27.000 It keeps you on the tit. 0.95
01:41:28.000 You can never just go off the grid.
01:41:31.000 One of the shows that I watch is a show called Mountain Men.
01:41:33.000 And there's a guy named Eustace Conway, and he lives in North Carolina.
01:41:37.000 And this guy is totally off the tit, all right?
01:41:40.000 All he does is live off the tit.
01:41:42.000 He's got a generator that uses river water.
01:41:45.000 The river water spins this wheel that creates electricity, and that's how he powers his bandsaws.
01:41:50.000 He cuts his own wood, he has like a couple thousand acres out there.
01:41:54.000 And he lives off deer meat that he shoots, he lives off chickens that he raises, and he's off the land, grows his own kale, the whole deal.
01:42:01.000 But his big dilemma? 0.99
01:42:02.000 Paying his fucking property tax every month. 0.99
01:42:04.000 So every year, you know, he's got to figure out how to sell things. 1.00
01:42:09.000 He's got to chop wood and sell wood.
01:42:10.000 He's got to do all these different things. 1.00
01:42:12.000 When really, he paid for all that shit. 1.00
01:42:14.000 We should just leave that guy alone. 1.00
01:42:16.000 He's not hurting anybody by living off the land that he paid for. 1.00
01:42:19.000 Like, get the fuck off his back! 1.00
01:42:21.000 But they're always going to do that. 1.00
01:42:23.000 They're always going to keep you tied in if they can.
01:42:26.000 If they can figure out a way to keep sucking money out of you.
01:42:29.000 And... 0.94
01:42:30.000 It's essentially a justification for the incompetent system. 0.98
01:42:33.000 The system is so fucking filled with just gross misspending and misappropriation and mismanagement of funds. 0.99
01:42:43.000 Just so gross and sloppy and bureaucratic. 1.00
01:42:47.000 They need everybody to be on the tit in order to feed that stupid inefficient machine. 1.00
01:42:53.000 Hear, hear, man. 1.00
01:42:55.000 Hear, hear.
01:42:55.000 When you were talking about Alaska and getting off the grid and all that...
01:43:00.000 You know, I had a transformative experience the first time I went to Alaska.
01:43:04.000 I was in college in New York.
01:43:07.000 I was studying literature.
01:43:08.000 And one of my teachers, who was a visiting professor that I got to be friends with, was the youngest person to ever be a professor at Oxford.
01:43:16.000 He's like a real big shot at Oxford.
01:43:18.000 I mean, since 1261 or something, this guy's the youngest person to ever be a professor there.
01:43:23.000 Wow.
01:43:23.000 How old was he?
01:43:24.000 21 when he was a full dog. 0.98
01:43:25.000 What a gangster.
01:43:27.000 Anyway, he's a very well-known guy.
01:43:29.000 Indira Gandhi was his godmother.
01:43:31.000 He's written a bunch of books and all this.
01:43:33.000 And he was a friend of mine, and I skipped my junior year of college.
01:43:39.000 So I had one more year of undergraduate, and then I was going to go to Oxford for my PhD, thanks to this guy and his connections.
01:43:46.000 I was going to study literature there, do a PhD, and by the time I was 30, be teaching somewhere, hopefully have tenure and be all set for life.
01:43:54.000 So I skipped my junior year because I found a loophole in the student handbook where I could scam through, which I've done every school I've ever been in, every job I've ever had, I find some scam.
01:44:05.000 So I scammed my way out of junior year and I said, I'm going to go to Alaska because I want to see the frontier.
01:44:11.000 So I hitchhiked from New York to Alaska.
01:44:15.000 Had all these freaky adventures, as you can imagine, right? 0.99
01:44:18.000 Went to prison, got shot at, you know, all this crazy shit happened. 0.98
01:44:23.000 And I met people along the way who picked me up, especially like in the Yukon and Alaska, who were so fucking kind. 0.99
01:44:32.000 Yeah.
01:44:32.000 So...
01:44:36.000 We're good to go.
01:44:54.000 The fancy-schmancy literature and philosophy that I was studying, right? 0.99
01:44:58.000 I had the collected poems of D.H. Lawrence in my backpack, and they'd never heard any of this shit, right? 0.82
01:45:05.000 When I compared them to my professor friends back at school, I was like, wait a minute, these people don't know any of this, you know, elite knowledge, but they're really happy people, and they're healthy people, and they have good families, 0.86
01:45:20.000 and they're decent, and they're kind, and they're generous to me.
01:45:23.000 And then I imagine one of them, you know, stumbles into Princeton, New Jersey, or where I was going to school in upstate New York, and my professor friends, you know, come upon them.
01:45:33.000 They'd laugh at them.
01:45:35.000 They wouldn't help them.
01:45:36.000 They wouldn't be kind to them. 0.99
01:45:37.000 And my professor friends had to call a fucking electrician to change a light bulb, right? 0.99
01:45:41.000 So it's like, well, wait a minute. 0.99
01:45:43.000 What do I want to do in this life?
01:45:45.000 Where am I going? 1.00
01:45:46.000 So that's when I just said, all right, fuck it. 1.00
01:45:48.000 No grad school. 0.99
01:45:49.000 And I wrote to the guy, like, sorry, not going to Prince or Oxford, not going to do any of this.
01:45:55.000 Till I'm 30, I'm not going to make a commitment to anything.
01:45:58.000 No job, no woman, no grad school, no med school, nothing. 1.00
01:46:02.000 I'm just going to float around the world and have adventures. 0.99
01:46:05.000 Wow, that's a fucking cool story. 0.98
01:46:07.000 I love that idea. 0.99
01:46:09.000 That's really cool.
01:46:10.000 I found that, I didn't go to the Yukon, but I went to Anchorage.
01:46:14.000 Recently with Ari, right?
01:46:15.000 You guys went fishing.
01:46:16.000 We went fishing.
01:46:17.000 Were you in the Kenai Peninsula?
01:46:21.000 South of Anchorage?
01:46:23.000 Quite honestly, I don't remember.
01:46:25.000 I don't remember what river we were on.
01:46:26.000 I don't remember anything.
01:46:27.000 We had a great time.
01:46:29.000 We caught some salmon and we did a show up there.
01:46:32.000 But I felt that way as well about the people that Right.
01:46:36.000 There's a self-sufficiency to a lot of the folks that live up there.
01:46:39.000 I mean, even in Anchorage, which is a city, you know, it's a real city.
01:46:43.000 They have, you know, hotels and gas stations and the whole deal.
01:46:46.000 We went to the movies there.
01:46:47.000 It was 10 o'clock at night.
01:46:48.000 It was bright out.
01:46:49.000 Yeah.
01:46:49.000 It's very weird.
01:46:50.000 Yeah, in the bars with no windows.
01:46:52.000 Yeah, you can't.
01:46:53.000 You can't have windows because people are in there drinking. 1.00
01:46:55.000 You don't want to see the fucking sun come to your eye and let you know what a loser you are. 1.00
01:46:58.000 Exactly. 1.00
01:46:59.000 Yeah, and people will make better decisions if there's light on them.
01:47:02.000 We don't want that, so...
01:47:03.000 Do they still have, like, handgun permits where you have to leave your gun at the door when you go into the bar?
01:47:07.000 Some places, yeah.
01:47:08.000 Like a gun check.
01:47:09.000 Yeah, you have to check your guns when you come in because everybody's got guns. 0.99
01:47:13.000 Get shit-faced, then you pick up your gun on your way out. 0.99
01:47:15.000 Yeah, that's the best time to get it after you've gotten in a bar argument. 0.99
01:47:19.000 But you find people, they were very kind and very cool and very competent, as you were saying, and they're just...
01:47:26.000 They're people that are also dealing with nature in a way different level.
01:47:30.000 They're dealing with weather.
01:47:32.000 Real weather.
01:47:34.000 And we don't have to do that. 0.99
01:47:36.000 Especially in California, which is the most ridiculous and retarded state in the country as far as the way people behave on the norm. 1.00
01:47:43.000 Don't get me wrong, I love it here and there's a lot of cool people here and all my best friends are here. 0.98
01:47:48.000 But the reality of California is that we don't have to deal with weather at all.
01:47:52.000 The worst thing we have to do is press a button.
01:47:54.000 Oh my god, it's hot.
01:47:55.000 You press a button, it's not hot anymore. 0.79
01:47:57.000 I mean, as long as the power stays on, really not that fucking hard to deal.
01:48:01.000 But if you're living in Alaska, you have to take precautions every year.
01:48:05.000 You have to keep a candle in the back of your car.
01:48:07.000 You have to keep matches.
01:48:08.000 You have to keep blankets with you at all times.
01:48:10.000 Because your car could break down, you could be at the side of the road, no one could be on the road, and that candle might keep you alive.
01:48:16.000 You have to light that candle in your car with all the doors shut, and that's the only way you're going to stay warm and stay alive.
01:48:22.000 There's a lot of that kind of thinking going on there. 0.98
01:48:24.000 And then when someone sees you pulled over to the side of the road, they're not like, oh, who's this creepy fuck in Sherman Oaks that's pulled over to the side of the road with his hazards on? 0.99
01:48:32.000 I'm not stopping for this guy. 0.99
01:48:34.000 They're like, oh, who is this person, this kindred soul out here in the middle of the woods that got fucked, and this could be me. 0.95
01:48:42.000 Hey, come on in. 0.98
01:48:43.000 Exactly.
01:48:43.000 Exactly.
01:48:44.000 Do you guys have cell phone service?
01:48:45.000 No, if we drive five more miles, we get cell phone service.
01:48:47.000 Hop in the car, I'll take you to where we can call somebody.
01:48:49.000 Yeah.
01:48:50.000 Yeah, there's not...
01:48:51.000 But your professor friends, to not pick them up would be right where they live.
01:48:57.000 That's the crazy thing about it.
01:48:58.000 It's like, you're right that the professor probably wouldn't pick up someone who was broken down on the side of the road, but they're right to not doing that if you live in a city. 0.99
01:49:07.000 Because you never know what the fuck you're going to get. 0.99
01:49:10.000 Exactly. 0.98
01:49:10.000 Yeah, you gotta participate in the world you're born into, whether you agree with it or not. 0.98
01:49:16.000 Sorry to interrupt you, but what you said about California, that also ties to the origins of civilization, actually, in a funny way.
01:49:26.000 One of the leading theories for why Europe became more advanced, used in quotes, is because people had to I had to think twice there.
01:49:37.000 People, they had winter.
01:49:39.000 So when you build a house, it has to be better engineered.
01:49:42.000 The best engineers, you know, the best cars, German, you know, they're not Italian. 1.00
01:49:46.000 Because in architecture and all this stuff you see in Europe, the Mediterranean countries are sloppy.
01:49:53.000 The houses aren't insulated.
01:49:55.000 The fittings aren't right.
01:49:58.000 People show up late.
01:50:00.000 The whole mentality is kind of lazy, fair, whatever.
01:50:03.000 Well, that's the weather.
01:50:04.000 It's a reflection of the weather.
01:50:05.000 It's a reflection of the fact that they're not battling weather for their lives.
01:50:10.000 So there is a competence and a sort of carefulness and a checklist.
01:50:15.000 If you're a pilot, you use a checklist because if you don't, you're a dead pilot.
01:50:20.000 It's like that in northern climates as well.
01:50:22.000 It develops a certain kind of approach to life that's much more competent.
01:50:27.000 And then on the other hand, you've got places like Brazil where the weather's fantastic and the people are like laughing and they're on the beach, they're smiling and very friendly and very warm. 0.98
01:50:36.000 And that's also because they don't have to deal with any bullshit. 0.95
01:50:40.000 They're all wearing flip-flops. 0.99
01:50:41.000 I mean, nobody has to worry about nothing.
01:50:43.000 No matter what the time of the year is, it never gets cold.
01:50:48.000 There's people in Rio that are surfing 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
01:50:52.000 They can do whatever they want.
01:50:53.000 There's no sharks down there either.
01:50:55.000 I think recently someone got bit by a shark in Brazil.
01:50:57.000 It was a really, really rare situation.
01:51:00.000 So they're like surfing in perfect water.
01:51:02.000 It's like bath water.
01:51:03.000 Beautiful waves.
01:51:05.000 Hot!
01:51:06.000 Hot, hot.
01:51:07.000 Hot.
01:51:08.000 Everything's great.
01:51:08.000 I know you like Werner Herzog.
01:51:10.000 Yeah.
01:51:11.000 You ever see a documentary called Bus 107?
01:51:14.000 No. 0.99
01:51:15.000 It's not Werner Herzog, but it's a documentary that will blow your fucking mind. 0.99
01:51:20.000 I know you're into Grizzly Man, too. 0.97
01:51:22.000 Love it.
01:51:23.000 Yeah.
01:51:23.000 Oh, yeah.
01:51:24.000 The music in Grizzly Man.
01:51:26.000 Oh, no, no.
01:51:27.000 I'm thinking of Into the Wild.
01:51:28.000 Oh, yeah.
01:51:29.000 Yeah.
01:51:30.000 Anyway, this film, is it Bus 107?
01:51:32.000 No.
01:51:33.000 Is that coming up?
01:51:33.000 It's Bus 1-something.
01:51:35.000 I don't remember which number, but it's a Brazilian documentary, and it's available with subtitles.
01:51:40.000 It's about this guy who tries to hijack a bus, and his idea is just to grab some money and jump off the bus, but...
01:51:50.000 I think?
01:52:16.000 You know, it's like the OJ, you know.
01:52:18.000 Bus 174. 174. A highly recommended documentary for insights into Brazilian life and just something you'll never see.
01:52:28.000 It's like Grizzly Man in the sense that there's a lot of...
01:52:43.000 Wow. 1.00
01:52:44.000 That's fucked. 1.00
01:52:48.000 Okay, I'll check that out. 0.99
01:52:49.000 Yeah, I think that a certain amount of nature, having to deal with a certain amount of adversity, develops character.
01:52:57.000 It's one of the issues that I have with modern life as far as people just getting a nice, safe job, is that You don't really have to deal with too much adversity.
01:53:09.000 There's not a lot of risk involved, not a lot of fear.
01:53:12.000 And parents like that for their children.
01:53:13.000 Like, take a safe job, Johnny.
01:53:15.000 You know, you get in the union, you got a good career there.
01:53:19.000 Good government job.
01:53:19.000 Yeah, but when you do that, when you reduce those risks, you also reduce the excitement of life.
01:53:26.000 You take away some of the thrill of life.
01:53:28.000 Yeah.
01:53:28.000 My whole life I've been a thrilled junkie, you know, in more ways than one.
01:53:33.000 I've avoided the fear, like the drugs and the things that can really fuck up your life.
01:53:38.000 I've avoided all those because I've seen them happen before.
01:53:41.000 But if I didn't avoid them, I for sure would have got hooked on something.
01:53:45.000 You know, I'm a crazy person.
01:53:47.000 You have an addictive personality? 1.00
01:53:49.000 Fuck yeah, for sure, 100%. 1.00
01:53:50.000 Yeah, but I funnel it into being addicted to positive things. 1.00
01:53:54.000 Right.
01:53:54.000 Like I get addicted to martial arts, or I get addicted to stand-up comedy, or I get addicted to, you know...
01:53:58.000 Things that I like, but they're thrills.
01:54:05.000 That's what I'm addicted to.
01:54:06.000 I'm addicted to martial arts.
01:54:08.000 One of the things about it that was so exciting is regular life became so much more manageable when four or five days a week I was fighting for my life.
01:54:18.000 It's like there was a reality of a mad scramble with some crazy brown belt who's got a nasty guard and you guys are doing battle. 1.00
01:54:28.000 He's trying to choke the blood out of your neck.
01:54:30.000 And because of that, everything else I would do would be so much less threatening.
01:54:37.000 And so much more in context.
01:54:39.000 It would give it a context and it would give it a perspective.
01:54:42.000 And it also cleanses the mind to be terrified.
01:54:46.000 Yes.
01:54:47.000 Yes.
01:54:47.000 I mean, I rode a motorcycle for seven years in Spain.
01:54:51.000 I had a BMW. Oh my god, in Spain?
01:54:52.000 I rode it every day, every night.
01:54:55.000 That's so crazy.
01:54:56.000 Yeah, I used it for work.
01:54:58.000 How many accidents?
01:55:00.000 You know what?
01:55:01.000 A lot of near misses.
01:55:04.000 Some crazy near misses, but I never dropped it.
01:55:07.000 Whoa, that's amazing.
01:55:08.000 I've dropped other motorcycles.
01:55:10.000 I almost died on a motorcycle in, well, I almost died on that one, but that's another story.
01:55:15.000 But the first time I almost, I took a bike, a trail bike, I laid it down and slid under a barbed wire fence.
01:55:23.000 Oh my God!
01:55:24.000 When I was like 14. Oh my god, that could have just shredded you.
01:55:28.000 And then the next time I was in Thailand, I was in Chiang Mai, Thailand, and I rented this Suzuki 185, like a small light bike, and I did like a six-day trip around the Golden Triangle in northwest Thailand,
01:55:43.000 which borders Burma and Laos.
01:55:46.000 And it's where, like, 80% of the heroin in the world comes from.
01:55:49.000 It's also where I tried heroin, which was a weird time.
01:55:54.000 Did you try an injection?
01:55:56.000 No, I smoked it.
01:55:58.000 I met these two British guys.
01:56:00.000 It was such a weird thing.
01:56:02.000 And I remember exactly when it was because I got up early, like 7 o'clock in the morning, to watch Mike Tyson fight James Bonecrusher Smith.
01:56:11.000 Oh, I remember that.
01:56:13.000 And it was being shown in this little bar cafe in Chiang Mai near where I was staying, and I got up early because I wanted to see it, and these two British dudes and me were the only ones there.
01:56:23.000 And they were junkies.
01:56:26.000 And they were, like, super high-class dudes.
01:56:28.000 Like, one of them, his uncle was in Parliament, and the other was the son of a very famous writer, whose book I had read, actually.
01:56:35.000 Wow.
01:56:35.000 I won't say his name, but very well-known.
01:56:38.000 He won the Booker Prize, and big deal.
01:56:41.000 Anyway, these two were junkies, and they were in... 0.68
01:56:43.000 So the one dude was in Thailand, ostensibly to be an actor in the taping of Good Morning, the film of Good Morning Vietnam.
01:56:54.000 The Robin Williams film that they were taping at the time in Bangkok.
01:56:57.000 That was the story he gave his parents. 1.00
01:57:00.000 Bullshit. 1.00
01:57:00.000 He was just getting high all the time. 1.00
01:57:02.000 And then his friend was like, I gotta go save him.
01:57:04.000 And then so he came and now he's getting high all the time.
01:57:08.000 And I met the two of them with this Mike Tyson fight.
01:57:12.000 And so I had always, you know, my thing about drugs is I'm not, I don't have an addictive personality.
01:57:17.000 I'm too lazy to be addictive, honestly, really.
01:57:20.000 So I do things.
01:57:21.000 I get the thrill out of it.
01:57:22.000 And I try to be careful about it.
01:57:24.000 And, you know, I like to do things in the place that it comes from, right?
01:57:28.000 I've done ayahuasca in Brazil and peyote in Mexico.
01:57:31.000 And so I'm in northern Thailand in Chiang Mai.
01:57:34.000 It's going to be the cleanest, best quality heroin ever.
01:57:37.000 And I meet these two guys and they're into it and they've got all the contacts and all that.
01:57:42.000 And so we got to be friends, and they invited me to get high, and I was like, okay, look, I've never done this before.
01:57:49.000 They, no, no, we got you, no worries.
01:57:51.000 So we're sitting in their room, and we did the Chase the Dragon, where you put the heroin on tinfoil, because the flame can't touch the heroin.
01:58:01.000 It's like...
01:58:02.000 It'll ruin it?
01:58:03.000 Yeah, I can't go to prison for saying this, right?
01:58:05.000 No.
01:58:05.000 Talking about this.
01:58:06.000 No, this is all fiction.
01:58:07.000 But you know what?
01:58:07.000 Non-Americans, if you admit that you have ever used illegal drugs, they stamp your passport.
01:58:12.000 You're never allowed in the country.
01:58:14.000 I have two friends that happened to.
01:58:15.000 So if you're in another country and you start talking about using drugs, like on another podcast, they can- Well, I don't know.
01:58:21.000 I don't know about podcasts, but what happened with this friend, she was coming back from Amsterdam.
01:58:24.000 She was a judge in the Cannabis Cup competition.
01:58:28.000 She lives in Vancouver.
01:58:40.000 Wow.
01:58:46.000 Wow.
01:58:47.000 And another guy I know is a psychiatrist, a Canadian psychiatrist, who had worked with LSD psychotherapy.
01:58:53.000 And they stopped him at the drive-through border, you know, at Vancouver, and interviewed him.
01:58:59.000 They Wikipedia'd him, and they're like, oh, you did research with LSD. Have you ever used LSD? He said, yeah, stamp.
01:59:08.000 Wow.
01:59:08.000 Dude's never allowed in the country.
01:59:10.000 That's crazy.
01:59:11.000 Wow.
01:59:12.000 Is that only America?
01:59:14.000 As far as I know.
01:59:16.000 Canada's rough.
01:59:16.000 If you get drunk driving in America, good luck getting into Canada.
01:59:19.000 Oh, really?
01:59:20.000 Oh, yeah.
01:59:20.000 Yeah, a lot of fighters have issues getting into Canada for fights.
01:59:24.000 A lot of comedians have issues.
01:59:25.000 A lot of comedians have had issues getting into the Montreal Comedy Festival, which is one of the big events for stand-up comedians.
01:59:31.000 Because of drunk driving?
01:59:32.000 Yes, because of drunk driving convictions.
01:59:33.000 Or any domestic violence or anything like that.
01:59:35.000 Yeah, Eddie Bravo had...
01:59:38.000 An arrest for having a gun on him legally.
01:59:41.000 He was working for a check cashing place and he used to have to carry large sums of cash in his car to another location.
01:59:48.000 And so he would leave with the check cashing company and he had a registered concealed carry permit for a gun.
01:59:55.000 And so he got pulled over for something, and he had to tell the cop, officer, I work for a check-catching company.
02:00:02.000 I have a legal registered handgun in my car right now.
02:00:05.000 It's loaded.
02:00:06.000 And then they go, okay, hold on a second.
02:00:08.000 We're going to put you in handcuffs.
02:00:09.000 We're going to run this.
02:00:10.000 So they run it.
02:00:11.000 They go, okay, checks out.
02:00:12.000 They let him go.
02:00:13.000 Because it was not even supposed to be on his record, because it was all legal.
02:00:17.000 It doesn't matter.
02:00:18.000 Every time he goes to Canada, they sit him down.
02:00:21.000 Tell us about this.
02:00:22.000 You have a gun inside you right now?
02:00:25.000 You take a gun?
02:00:27.000 You try to go for the border?
02:00:28.000 No, no, [...
02:00:30.000 I was working for a company.
02:00:32.000 I was allowed to have this company.
02:00:33.000 He's got an extra hour every time he goes into Canada.
02:00:37.000 That happened to me, actually.
02:00:38.000 They push him into immigration.
02:00:39.000 Going into Canada.
02:00:40.000 What was your issue?
02:00:41.000 Well, they asked me if I'd ever been convicted of a crime, and I said no.
02:00:46.000 And...
02:00:46.000 I go sit down, and then they call me over, and they said, the guy's like, you said you'd never been convicted of a crime, correct?
02:00:53.000 I said, yeah.
02:00:54.000 He said, is there anything you'd like to say about Fairbanks, Alaska in 1983?
02:01:00.000 And I was like... 0.97
02:01:02.000 Yeah, I got busted in Fairbanks, you know, for eating a Snickers bar in a fucking grocery store and not paying for it. 0.98
02:01:09.000 But I did three days. 0.98
02:01:10.000 It was Memorial Day weekend.
02:01:12.000 I did four nights in the prison.
02:01:14.000 And then the guy said, you know, 20 hours of community service and this will disappear from your record if you don't get arrested in a year.
02:01:22.000 So I always say no, because I wasn't convicted of anything.
02:01:26.000 And they said it would be taken from my record.
02:01:29.000 And the guy's like, no.
02:01:30.000 The fact that you were not Alaskan, so you're from out of state, meant they couldn't strike it from your record.
02:01:36.000 And it's on your FBI record, which is what we get in Canada. 0.97
02:01:40.000 You're a snicker thief. 0.98
02:01:41.000 Yeah, I'm a snicker thief. 0.90
02:01:43.000 So he's a cool guy.
02:01:43.000 I did four days in a federal medium security prison with no underwear.
02:01:48.000 For a Snickers?
02:01:49.000 For a Snickers bar.
02:01:50.000 What do you mean with no underwear?
02:01:51.000 Were you wearing anything or just naked?
02:01:53.000 I was wearing shorts.
02:01:54.000 And why'd you tell us that?
02:01:55.000 Yeah, why didn't you have pants at the grocery store?
02:01:57.000 Why'd you tell us about no underwear?
02:01:58.000 Because it makes it more harrowing.
02:02:00.000 Come on, man.
02:02:01.000 I was 19 years old.
02:02:04.000 Yeah.
02:02:05.000 Were you very twinkish?
02:02:06.000 I was twinkie.
02:02:07.000 I was very twinkie, yeah.
02:02:08.000 So you were worried it was all going to go down in four days.
02:02:10.000 I mean, I would have been worried if I were wearing, you know, anything. 0.99
02:02:14.000 A fucking Snickers bar? 0.99
02:02:16.000 Yeah, isn't that under the amount of money that they could even bust you for something? 1.00
02:02:20.000 Maybe not in the 80s.
02:02:21.000 Reagan was the president. 0.99
02:02:22.000 They were trying to fucking be tough on crime. 0.99
02:02:24.000 Just say no. 0.99
02:02:25.000 Yeah, and also I had a...
02:02:26.000 I mean, what happened was we got in from this 10-day hitch with these two guys I'd met on the ferry coming up the Inside Passage. 0.58
02:02:34.000 And we had this long hitch through the Yukon Territory, all this crazy shit. 0.94
02:02:39.000 And we get to Fairbanks, so the first place we go is the laundromat because we stank, right? 0.98
02:02:45.000 We didn't have that special soap.
02:02:47.000 Defense soap.
02:02:47.000 Defense soap.
02:02:49.000 And so we went to the laundromat.
02:02:50.000 We put everything possible in the washer.
02:02:53.000 So all three of us were wearing shorts with no underwear, boots with no socks, and a jacket with no shirt.
02:02:58.000 And then one of the guys was like, oh, he wanted to go to the grocery store because there was a pay fund.
02:03:02.000 He was going to call his girlfriend to let her know that he'd arrived on time. 0.99
02:03:06.000 And I was like, fuck it, I'll go over with you. 0.99
02:03:07.000 And the other guy is going to stay with the bags, our backpacks and all that shit and watch the clothes. 1.00
02:03:12.000 So I went with him. 0.92
02:03:14.000 Somebody was on the phone.
02:03:15.000 We started pushing a card around.
02:03:17.000 We were like Soviet immigrants, like, oh, so many kinds of food here.
02:03:21.000 Because we'd been living in the woods eating nuts and chocolate and LSD for the last 10 days.
02:03:26.000 And so he opened a thing of kefir.
02:03:30.000 It's the first time I'd ever heard of kefir, which is like liquid yogurt.
02:03:33.000 Yeah.
02:03:33.000 And drank that.
02:03:34.000 Great for your body.
02:03:35.000 Acidophilus.
02:03:36.000 And I, for some reason, ate a Snickers bar, even though I'd been eating chocolate.
02:03:41.000 Not much imagination there.
02:03:43.000 And then he used the phone, we ditched the cart, and we left.
02:03:47.000 And so some security guy had seen us and turned into a thing.
02:03:50.000 This cop showed up.
02:03:53.000 And I had a knife in my boot and some grass in my pocket, both of which were legal at the time in Alaska.
02:04:00.000 But it was enough to make this cop not like me at all.
02:04:04.000 And he was like this, you know, Napoleonic cop kind of situation.
02:04:09.000 And he didn't like...
02:04:10.000 Smart-ass college kids from outside coming into Alaska in the summer.
02:04:14.000 Stealing Snickers bars. 0.99
02:04:15.000 Fucking around, yeah. 1.00
02:04:16.000 Fucking around with Kiefer. 1.00
02:04:17.000 So he handcuffed us and took us to prison, Fairbanks Correctional Center. 0.99
02:04:22.000 Did you not have the money for the Snickers bar?
02:04:24.000 Yeah, we had plenty of money.
02:04:25.000 You just didn't want to pay for it?
02:04:26.000 But it was like, well, you tell it to the magistrate.
02:04:29.000 Oh, you mean for that? 0.99
02:04:30.000 No, that was just like, I don't know what the fuck that was. 1.00
02:04:32.000 You're just young and being silly. 1.00
02:04:33.000 We're just dumb and maybe there was a line or something. 1.00
02:04:36.000 I don't remember. 0.99
02:04:37.000 We pretended we were shopping. 0.96
02:04:38.000 So we put dog food and shit in the carts and we ate our stuff and put the package like we were going to pay for it when we checked out. 0.99
02:04:47.000 Right, right, right. 0.92
02:04:48.000 So I don't know. 0.98
02:04:49.000 We were just being dumb. 0.86
02:04:51.000 But, yeah, so we ended up being taken to this prison, and I had a pipe, too. 0.57
02:04:57.000 Yeah, because I remember when we did the intake, the guy, like the prison dude who booked us and, you know, did the whole intake thing.
02:05:05.000 I was joking with him.
02:05:06.000 I was like, yeah, I'm not going to get that pipe and grass back, am I? And he was like, I don't think so, man.
02:05:11.000 I was like, well, you know, it wouldn't bother me if it just disappeared and was never even registered, because grass is hard to come by in Alaska.
02:05:17.000 Right.
02:05:18.000 It wasn't that.
02:05:18.000 Yeah.
02:05:19.000 And so we sort of had a little understanding, like, I'm cool, you're cool. 0.99
02:05:22.000 Because he was like, what the fuck? 1.00
02:05:24.000 Snickers bar? 1.00
02:05:25.000 Why would this guy...
02:05:26.000 What's wrong with that cop?
02:05:27.000 Did you, like, hit him or something? 1.00
02:05:28.000 No, you know, he just had a hair up his ass. 0.99
02:05:31.000 Right. 0.99
02:05:31.000 So this guy was cool. 0.99
02:05:33.000 He saved us.
02:05:34.000 Because what he did is he said, look, I'm not going to put you guys in with the general population.
02:05:38.000 You're going to sleep in the gym at night.
02:05:41.000 You've got some cots.
02:05:42.000 You sleep in the gym.
02:05:43.000 You never let the other one out of your sight the whole time you're here.
02:05:48.000 You go to the bathroom together.
02:05:49.000 You go to the showers together.
02:05:51.000 You watch each other's back and you'll get through it all right.
02:05:54.000 Whoa.
02:05:55.000 And we did.
02:05:55.000 It was wild.
02:05:57.000 And this was like 83, I guess.
02:05:59.000 And so there's a lot of money in Alaska, right, from all the oil.
02:06:04.000 So the prison was plush.
02:06:06.000 It was like every meal was all you can eat.
02:06:08.000 Really?
02:06:09.000 Salad bar, whole wheat rolls, white rolls.
02:06:12.000 Wednesday was prime rib day where the cops could pay a buck to eat with the prisoners.
02:06:17.000 Really?
02:06:18.000 Yeah.
02:06:18.000 But the catch was you only had 20 minutes each meal.
02:06:22.000 So I remember like one day we're sitting there at this table.
02:06:25.000 We're like 19, maybe 20, something like that.
02:06:28.000 We're sitting at this table and the guy across the table looked like Charles Bronson.
02:06:34.000 You remember him?
02:06:34.000 The stash and the tats and all that.
02:06:36.000 And we were just like, this dude was shoveling it in and he looks up at one point and he says, this is the best fucking prison I've ever been in. 0.98
02:06:43.000 Huh? 0.98
02:06:47.000 Yikes.
02:06:47.000 He's got a laundry list of prisons that don't meet that criteria.
02:06:51.000 Didn't meet the standard.
02:06:52.000 His story was he found a dude with his wife And he beat him with a lead pipe.
02:06:59.000 And he didn't know if he was dead.
02:07:01.000 But as soon as it happened, he got in his car.
02:07:04.000 He was from like New Mexico or Arizona.
02:07:06.000 He got in his car and drove to Alaska.
02:07:08.000 Wow.
02:07:08.000 Because he knew he'd get picked up.
02:07:10.000 And he wanted to get picked up in Alaska because he'd heard the prisons were much better.
02:07:13.000 That's hilarious.
02:07:14.000 So he might have beat a guy to death and said the way to deal with this is to go to a place that has awesome prisons.
02:07:19.000 And that place just happens to be on the exact opposite of the continent. 1.00
02:07:24.000 That's fucking far as shit. 1.00
02:07:25.000 It's a long drive. 1.00
02:07:26.000 How long does it take to drive to Alaska?
02:07:27.000 Can you actually drive straight to Alaska?
02:07:29.000 Yeah, the Alcan Highway.
02:07:30.000 Whoa, what is that like?
02:07:32.000 It's bumpy.
02:07:34.000 Or at least it was in the 80s.
02:07:35.000 Shitties, huh?
02:07:36.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:07:37.000 Because, you know, every winter it gets all torn up.
02:07:39.000 Yeah, how many lanes is it?
02:07:40.000 Most of it's two lanes.
02:07:42.000 One on each side?
02:07:44.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:07:44.000 So you can get stuck behind some asshole that wants to go 40 miles an hour? 1.00
02:07:47.000 Well, there's a lot of passing. 1.00
02:07:49.000 I mean, a lot of it's just flat.
02:07:52.000 Because the Yukon's tundra.
02:07:54.000 Right.
02:07:55.000 It's just flat, scrub, plants. 0.88
02:07:59.000 I can't imagine someone driving all the way the fuck to Alaska. 0.93
02:08:02.000 That just seems insane. 0.98
02:08:03.000 I just drove to L.A. from Vancouver by way of Utah.
02:08:07.000 Jesus.
02:08:08.000 How long did that take?
02:08:09.000 Ten days.
02:08:11.000 Ten days.
02:08:11.000 But we stopped and went hiking in Utah.
02:08:13.000 Okay.
02:08:14.000 You made a trip out of it.
02:08:15.000 Yeah.
02:08:15.000 How many hours was it actual driving?
02:08:18.000 I don't know.
02:08:19.000 It's about 6,000 kilometers, I think, which is around, what, 4,000 miles, something like that?
02:08:25.000 3,800?
02:08:25.000 Yeah, something like that.
02:08:27.000 I think it's 2.2 per...
02:08:29.000 Yeah.
02:08:29.000 Yeah, 2.2 kilometers per mile.
02:08:32.000 Something along those lines.
02:08:32.000 100 kilometers is 60 miles.
02:08:34.000 Something along those lines.
02:08:35.000 Yeah.
02:08:36.000 Like 60 miles an hour is 100 kilometers.
02:08:38.000 62, I think 62 miles an hour.
02:08:40.000 Yeah.
02:08:41.000 That's...
02:08:41.000 Utah's great.
02:08:42.000 Yeah, Utah's amazing.
02:08:43.000 It's so beautiful, man.
02:08:45.000 Moab.
02:08:45.000 Oh.
02:08:46.000 Yeah, we were in Moab, and then...
02:08:49.000 I'd been wanting to go to Moab since the early 80s because I'd read this book called Desert Solitaire by Edward Abbey.
02:08:55.000 You ever read that book?
02:08:56.000 No.
02:08:56.000 Oh, it's a great book.
02:08:58.000 Essays about the desert.
02:09:00.000 Edward Abbey was like a redneck philosopher hippie. 0.92
02:09:06.000 I mean, he just integrated these worlds.
02:09:09.000 He was like a...
02:09:09.000 Who's the singer?
02:09:11.000 Willie Nelson.
02:09:11.000 He was like a Willie Nelson kind of author, you know?
02:09:14.000 Right.
02:09:14.000 Country guys from Pennsylvania originally, but he moved out west in the 60s and got a job as a fire lookout in Arches National Monument or one of those parks or maybe it was Canyonlands right there.
02:09:28.000 And spent the summer by himself in this house, you know, just with this incredible view, looking for lightning strikes.
02:09:34.000 And he wrote essays and the book became this cult word of mouth classic.
02:09:40.000 It's probably sold a million copies by now.
02:09:43.000 Wow.
02:09:43.000 It's a great book.
02:09:44.000 So I'd wanted to go there since I read that book in the early 80s, and this was the first chance I got, and man, it's amazing. 0.97
02:09:51.000 Yeah, I have a good buddy who was living outside of Salt Lake for a while, and then he had to move to Arizona, and he fucking hates it.
02:09:58.000 He had to move there for work, but he just ranted and raved about how great Utah was.
02:10:03.000 And then I went up there this winter to go skiing for the first time.
02:10:06.000 I suck at skiing. 0.55
02:10:07.000 That's beside the point. 0.92
02:10:09.000 It's so beautiful up there. 0.97
02:10:10.000 So goddamn gorgeous. 0.93
02:10:11.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:10:12.000 Rolling hills.
02:10:13.000 And then we were there this summer.
02:10:15.000 We went there for the winter to ski, and then I was there this summer filming the TV show, the sci-fi show.
02:10:21.000 One of the things we did was in Utah, and everything was fucking green and gorgeous, and you just get to see what it looks like when it's not covered in snow.
02:10:28.000 It's like, oh my god, this is paradise. 0.57
02:10:30.000 Go to the Red Rock Country.
02:10:31.000 Yeah.
02:10:32.000 Down Moab.
02:10:33.000 Yeah.
02:10:33.000 You know, the arches.
02:10:34.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:10:35.000 It's just phenomenally beautiful.
02:10:38.000 There's still some sweet spots in this country. 0.99
02:10:41.000 Yeah, I mean, the thing for me, I shit on America a lot. 0.99
02:10:46.000 Anyone who follows my Twitter feed sees me bitching about America constantly. 0.99
02:10:50.000 But the thing America's got that Europe doesn't have is just incredible natural beauty and large scale.
02:10:58.000 You know, it's not some little park, you know.
02:11:01.000 Like the Grand Canyon, Yosemite...
02:11:03.000 Yeah, I mean, but they're just massive chunks of amazing...
02:11:07.000 All these parks around Moab are amazing. 0.99
02:11:10.000 Alaska, the whole fucking state is just off the charts, man. 0.99
02:11:14.000 Yeah, really nice. 0.99
02:11:15.000 We were in Seattle for the sci-fi show, and Duncan and I went to Mount Rainier.
02:11:21.000 And we drove off.
02:11:23.000 By the way, it's only like 50 miles outside of Seattle.
02:11:26.000 And you're in the mountains.
02:11:27.000 From Seattle, it's like a cloud.
02:11:31.000 It's massive.
02:11:32.000 Massive and gorgeous.
02:11:33.000 It sort of highlights that city.
02:11:34.000 I think it's one of the reasons why that city is so cool.
02:11:36.000 It's got the ocean there to keep you humble, and then it's got this massive mountain. 1.00
02:11:40.000 It's like, listen, bitch, you ain't shit. 1.00
02:11:43.000 Relax. 1.00
02:11:44.000 But when we drove up there, Duncan and I just could not stop rolling down the window and just sticking our heads out and go, God, is this real?
02:11:50.000 It's so gorgeous.
02:11:52.000 Just deep, rich green with low clouds everywhere because you're pretty high altitude up there in the mountains and it's just the fog and the clouds and the trees and it's just so alive in the air.
02:12:04.000 You feel like you could eat it.
02:12:05.000 Is that when you were squatching?
02:12:07.000 We were squatching.
02:12:08.000 It's a technical term.
02:12:09.000 I'm glad you used that.
02:12:11.000 I follow your movements.
02:12:13.000 Yeah, people who are not squash enthusiasts, they don't know the right terms.
02:12:17.000 They might say, you're out bigfooting.
02:12:19.000 That's not correct.
02:12:20.000 No.
02:12:20.000 We're squatching.
02:12:22.000 Bigfooting, that's snowshoeing.
02:12:23.000 You might be out wasting your time.
02:12:25.000 Hey, easy! 0.99
02:12:26.000 Well, one of the things that the guy said that we went squatching with, this guy Steve, very cool guy.
02:12:33.000 Both guys we went with were very, very nice guys.
02:12:36.000 They seem cool, actually, in the show.
02:12:38.000 Very, very cool guys.
02:12:39.000 They seem pretty chill.
02:12:40.000 Yeah, and one of the things that they said was like, look, man, even if there's no Bigfoot, we're still out here camping.
02:12:45.000 Yeah.
02:12:46.000 We're having a good time.
02:12:47.000 It's beautiful woods that we're in.
02:12:49.000 And I like that attitude.
02:12:51.000 Well, that's what people say about fishing and hunting as well, although it sounds like your trip wasn't as enjoyable sitting in a freezer.
02:12:59.000 It was enjoyable still.
02:13:00.000 I liked it.
02:13:01.000 I like suffering a little bit.
02:13:03.000 I think it's important. 0.98
02:13:04.000 It's an excuse to get the fuck out of here. 0.98
02:13:05.000 Go out in the woods and hang out with your buddies and have a good time. 0.95
02:13:09.000 The guy who owned the land, his name is Doug, he took me to this one spot.
02:13:13.000 We went hunting and I went up in the tree stand and he likes to do a lot of his hunting walking around.
02:13:19.000 And so he said, let's split up for a little bit.
02:13:22.000 I'll go this way, you sit in the tree stand and maybe me walking around, sometimes it'll scare a deer towards you.
02:13:28.000 And when I was sitting there, it was just me alone for like an hour and there wasn't a single sound.
02:13:34.000 Every now and then I'd hear like a little squirrel chip, but there's no TV cameras this time.
02:13:38.000 We'd basically finished filming what we need to film for the show.
02:13:41.000 So just me sitting up there in the stand, like looking around, waiting for a deer to show up, but just soaking in the beauty of the woods.
02:13:48.000 And it's the driftless area of Wisconsin, which means it's the area that the glaciers didn't flatten out.
02:13:53.000 So it's all hilly and gorgeous and woodsy everywhere and just...
02:14:12.000 Yeah, you mentioned weather earlier, and we were talking about the cleanliness of fear.
02:14:19.000 Yeah.
02:14:21.000 There's something about weather that I find deeply relaxing, like a strong, like a storm, a tropical storm, a hurricane.
02:14:30.000 You know, I'm like one of those guys, I would tie myself to a tree and just like watch the hurricane come through.
02:14:36.000 Well, you can't do that.
02:14:37.000 You get hit in the face by a car.
02:14:39.000 That's the downside, yeah. 1.00
02:14:40.000 You're like tied, a fucking tree comes by and takes your head off. 1.00
02:14:44.000 You shouldn't do that. 1.00
02:14:45.000 You can't duck, yeah.
02:14:46.000 But I agree with you, though.
02:14:47.000 As long as I know it's not life-threatening, a good thundershower is beautiful.
02:14:51.000 Well, even if it is life-threatening, that's even more cleansing. 0.98
02:14:54.000 Because it's good to be fucking terrified. 0.98
02:14:56.000 A little bit. 0.98
02:14:57.000 For me, anything that reminds me of how insignificant I am is really liberating. 0.89
02:15:05.000 And the problem is when I get caught up in my ego and whatever the bullshit is that I need to deal with and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 0.74
02:15:13.000 And I forget how, you know, it's like the football coach who, you know, isn't smart enough to know how little it all matters, you know? 0.95
02:15:20.000 It's like I never want to forget how little it all matters. 0.98
02:15:23.000 Because then you're screwed. 0.99
02:15:25.000 I agree with you 100%. 0.99
02:15:26.000 I think it's really important.
02:15:27.000 I think, as we were saying about weather, that dealing with weather is important too.
02:15:32.000 Just to know that you're humbled by nature upon occasions.
02:15:35.000 It's one of the things I like about it when it rains in LA, and everybody has to go, oh, okay, yeah, this could happen too.
02:15:41.000 There's people that complain about it, but I love the fact that they're introduced to the reality of the fact that you're living on a planet with an ecosystem, and it's variable.
02:15:49.000 It's very variable.
02:15:50.000 Right.
02:15:50.000 Yeah, something that cuts through your...
02:15:53.000 I mean, I used to love it when the lights...
02:15:54.000 Your apathy.
02:15:55.000 Yeah, and your...
02:15:57.000 Complacency.
02:15:58.000 Yeah, your complacency.
02:15:59.000 Exactly.
02:16:00.000 I mean, one of the cool things, and I've lived in India for months at a stretch, and one of the cool things there is that electricity would go out, like, constantly, you know?
02:16:09.000 That's so cool.
02:16:10.000 Yeah.
02:16:10.000 No, it's not.
02:16:11.000 No, it is cool. 0.99
02:16:11.000 Fucking terrible. 0.99
02:16:12.000 That sucks. 1.00
02:16:13.000 Your food goes bad while they're all covered in flies. 1.00
02:16:16.000 That sucks. 0.95
02:16:18.000 Keep me from going there, please. 0.99
02:16:20.000 You've never been to India?
02:16:21.000 No, no, no, no.
02:16:21.000 Oh, dude, you've got to hit India.
02:16:24.000 I don't, though.
02:16:24.000 That's what's interesting.
02:16:25.000 You don't?
02:16:25.000 I don't.
02:16:27.000 I don't even like Indian food.
02:16:28.000 I love Indian food. 0.98
02:16:30.000 I fucking love it, yeah. 0.80
02:16:31.000 There's a dish named after me. 0.99
02:16:33.000 Lamb Rogan Josh.
02:16:35.000 Oh, you know.
02:16:35.000 It's not named after me.
02:16:36.000 It just happens to have a name.
02:16:37.000 Wait a minute.
02:16:37.000 I had that last night.
02:16:38.000 It's delicious. 0.97
02:16:40.000 And somebody, oh, fuck, someone last night told me that story, showed me that recipe in her cookbook, And said that something about the person who named it got you confused with Seth Rogen or something, or Josh somebody. 0.99
02:16:54.000 No, it's an old dish. 0.98
02:16:55.000 Is it an old dish?
02:16:56.000 Yes. 1.00
02:16:56.000 What the hell was that bullshit story that you were telling me? 1.00
02:16:59.000 That person's fucking retarded. 1.00
02:17:00.000 Oh my god, you're hanging out with a monkey. 1.00
02:17:03.000 That dish has been around forever.
02:17:06.000 Let's find out how long Lamb Rogen Josh has been around.
02:17:09.000 I was hanging with this really sweet woman in Vancouver one night, and Lay Lady Lay came on.
02:17:16.000 And she said, do you know Dylan wrote that song for his dog?
02:17:20.000 I said, what?
02:17:22.000 And she said, yeah, his dog's name was Lady, and he wrote the song for the dog.
02:17:27.000 Her ex-boyfriend had told her that.
02:17:29.000 This is from Persia.
02:17:31.000 It's one of the signature recipes of Kashmiri cuisine.
02:17:35.000 Rogan means clarified butter or fat in Persian, while Josh means heat, hot, boiling, or passionate.
02:17:43.000 Rogan Josh thus means cooked in oil at intense heat.
02:17:46.000 Another interpretation of the name Rogan Josh is derived from the word Rogan meaning red color.
02:17:53.000 The same Indo-European root that is the source of the French rogue and the Spanish rojo.
02:18:01.000 And josh meaning passion or heat.
02:18:04.000 So there you go. 1.00
02:18:04.000 So this is old shit, man. 1.00
02:18:06.000 It's not named after you. 1.00
02:18:08.000 No, no. 1.00
02:18:09.000 She's an asshole. 1.00
02:18:11.000 She should do a Google search before she fucking spreads her nonsense. 1.00
02:18:15.000 It's not me or that beautiful Seth Rogen fellow. 0.99
02:18:19.000 Which, by the way, I watched his last movie, This is the End. 0.99
02:18:24.000 Holy shit, is that funny. 0.99
02:18:27.000 There are some fucking funny, funny, funny moments in that movie. 0.99
02:18:33.000 How good is Craig Roberts in that movie? 0.98
02:18:35.000 Michael Cera was my favorite.
02:18:37.000 Oh, he was great, too.
02:18:40.000 How about Kenny Powers?
02:18:43.000 How about Kenny Powers? 0.99
02:18:44.000 Oh my god, it's a fucking amazing movie. 0.99
02:18:47.000 Scary movie, awesome. 0.99
02:18:47.000 Scary, yeah, yeah, yeah, but fun, man. 0.99
02:18:49.000 They're all just taking the piss out of themselves.
02:18:52.000 That's what I love about it.
02:18:53.000 I love how Craig Robinson has a towel everywhere he goes.
02:18:57.000 He sweats so much, which is so true about Craig in real life.
02:19:00.000 He's always got a towel on stage with him.
02:19:02.000 Oh, that was a really, really funny movie, man.
02:19:05.000 That was a good movie.
02:19:05.000 Did I ever tell you, there's this one video of a fight that broke out in a gymnasium, and everyone even used to have towels more back then, because the towel thing's kind of new.
02:19:15.000 In the last ten years, rappers started having towels all the time and stuff.
02:19:19.000 The towel thing is new?
02:19:21.000 Yeah, like where they just carry around the towel all the time.
02:19:24.000 I don't know that.
02:19:25.000 You ever see that?
02:19:25.000 Yeah.
02:19:26.000 So there was this fight that broke out in this gymnasium, and they showed, the video lasted until everyone got out of the gymnasium, and on the ground was just towels and the stickers from people's hats.
02:19:35.000 It was hilarious.
02:19:37.000 It looked like it was a joke.
02:19:39.000 That's hilarious.
02:19:39.000 A big rap battle with towels and stickers.
02:19:43.000 Yeah, remember when they used to wear the tag on their hat?
02:19:47.000 Yeah.
02:19:48.000 Hanging from their hat like Minnie Pearl from the Old Opry?
02:19:50.000 She was the original gangster. 0.97
02:19:52.000 Yeah.
02:19:52.000 Minnie Pearl from the Grand Old Opry.
02:19:56.000 She always had a tag on her hat, man.
02:19:58.000 I don't know what that was about.
02:20:00.000 Did you hear about that waitress in New Jersey? 0.86
02:20:02.000 Yes.
02:20:03.000 Oh my god.
02:20:03.000 Yes.
02:20:04.000 It's a fucking gross story. 1.00
02:20:06.000 You know the story? 1.00
02:20:07.000 Not yet.
02:20:08.000 About the lesbian woman?
02:20:10.000 She was working as a waitress in this restaurant. 1.00
02:20:13.000 Oh, and she got some nasty note?
02:20:14.000 Yeah, she got some nasty note that said, we're not going to leave a tip because we don't agree with your life story.
02:20:18.000 Right.
02:20:19.000 Apparently, it's a hoax.
02:20:20.000 No.
02:20:21.000 Yes.
02:20:22.000 Seriously?
02:20:23.000 Yes. 1.00
02:20:23.000 And the family started getting shit. 1.00
02:20:25.000 I didn't hear that. 0.99
02:20:26.000 So the family brought in the actual original receipt.
02:20:28.000 You know how you get a customer copy and a merchant copy?
02:20:32.000 Yeah.
02:20:33.000 Well, the customer copy was the one that she left.
02:20:35.000 But the merchant copy, she left blank.
02:20:38.000 You know, sometimes people fuck up and they fill out the wrong one.
02:20:41.000 Well, they had the customer copy.
02:20:43.000 They had a copy of it.
02:20:45.000 They saved it.
02:20:46.000 And the merchant copy, I don't know if somebody photoshopped it. 0.95
02:20:50.000 I don't know what the fuck happened.
02:20:51.000 You can reprint these out, so all she did is just reprint it out and then write it on there. 0.97
02:20:56.000 And she wrote on it in a hoax to try to draw attention to herself.
02:21:00.000 And people have been sending her money and stuff.
02:21:02.000 Yes, thousands and thousands of dollars that she was going to use and she was going to send to something else.
02:21:07.000 I don't know.
02:21:08.000 Who knows?
02:21:09.000 We're accusing her of hoaxing it, but it might have been something that her...
02:21:14.000 Her staff did.
02:21:15.000 Right.
02:21:16.000 It could have been a hoax on her.
02:21:17.000 Yes.
02:21:17.000 No one knows.
02:21:18.000 We shouldn't definitely not accuse someone or say that she did it or that she was a liar, but somebody fucking hoaxed it. 0.87
02:21:27.000 What's interesting is that, I don't know if you heard the family said that, the only thing they could think of is that the hostess says Dana is going to be, or Dan's going to be your waiter. 0.95
02:21:37.000 And we'll be here in a second.
02:21:38.000 And then when she came up, they go, oh, you're definitely not a Dan, you know, or something like that, because her real name's Dana.
02:21:45.000 And so she kind of might have taken it as, oh, they're calling me a guy, you know, and that's why she got mad at these people.
02:21:51.000 Yeah, but that still doesn't mean that you should hoax that and write a fake, I mean, obviously.
02:21:56.000 So they actually did leave her a tip?
02:21:57.000 Yes, they left her 20% or 18%.
02:22:00.000 What?
02:22:00.000 Yeah, credit card statements.
02:22:01.000 Yeah, they left her, like, the right amount.
02:22:03.000 It reminds me, like, five years ago I read this story in the International Herald Tribune about a guy, this relates to what we were saying earlier, a rich guy, millionaire, big house, who decided to give it all up and, you know, give everything away and live a simple life because that was happy,
02:22:20.000 it would make him happier and this and that, right?
02:22:22.000 So when I started working on Civilized to Death, I had this clipping that I had kept for years.
02:22:28.000 And so I Googled the dude to see, you know, what's happened with this guy.
02:22:32.000 Is he still happy or does he get another job?
02:22:34.000 What's going on?
02:22:35.000 Turns out the whole thing was a hoax.
02:22:38.000 Oh, wow.
02:22:38.000 That he owed a bunch of money and he figured out that he would get more money if he auctioned his house.
02:22:45.000 So what he did was he said, like, and he went to a public relations company and they came up with this whole plan.
02:22:51.000 Wow.
02:22:51.000 That, like, he was going to renounce his wealth and all that.
02:22:54.000 But really behind the scenes he had to make money to pay off creditors, whatever it was.
02:22:58.000 And the guys going around the world, still, giving talks, charging lots of money to give talks about how wonderful it is to give up all your money. 0.99
02:23:05.000 It's all a fucking hoax. 0.98
02:23:07.000 Oh my god, that's hilarious. 1.00
02:23:10.000 This family apparently, not only were they not homophobic, they actually wouldn't vote for Governor Christie because he didn't agree with gay marriage.
02:23:19.000 So this family was very progressive. 0.99
02:23:20.000 So it's like, you know, whoever did it fucked up. 0.99
02:23:24.000 They fucked the wrong people. 0.99
02:23:25.000 Well, they just did something gross. 1.00
02:23:27.000 They did something gross and fake.
02:23:28.000 But that's the world that we live in, man. 0.85
02:23:31.000 Until we figure out how to tell whether or not people are lying, we're going to be dealing with this nonsense for a long time.
02:23:37.000 Well, she's the one that came out and said, look what these people said and put it on her Instagram or whatever she did. 1.00
02:23:43.000 That's actually a good point.
02:23:44.000 And so that showed the wrong amount on there.
02:23:48.000 And so they have a credit card statement going, no, this is the right amount.
02:23:53.000 Here is my actual copy of receipt.
02:23:54.000 So she had to have done it.
02:23:57.000 Most likely, unless someone tricked her and took the good bill away and then wrote on the other one a fake signature.
02:24:04.000 You have to find out the signatures match.
02:24:06.000 And then wrote on the one with a fake signature. 0.99
02:24:08.000 Find out who the fuck wrote that. 0.99
02:24:10.000 They have handwriting experts. 1.00
02:24:11.000 They can tell if it's a woman's writing or a man's writing.
02:24:14.000 Or transgender. 0.99
02:24:15.000 Hey, easy! 0.99
02:24:16.000 A cabbie.
02:24:17.000 Could be a cabbie's writing.
02:24:18.000 Could be a cabbie.
02:24:19.000 Yeah, I don't know.
02:24:20.000 I think you're going to have bigots for sure.
02:24:25.000 You're always going to have bigots.
02:24:26.000 But you're also always going to have people that are crying out for attention and pretend they've been a victim of bigotry. 0.98
02:24:32.000 You're going to have rape. 1.00
02:24:33.000 But you're also going to have false rape accusations too. 0.98
02:24:36.000 It's like, that's one of the reasons why I'm...
02:24:39.000 I'm really against gender identity in the fact that, not gender identity, but sticking with your gender, like uniformly and prejudicely, like always. 0.98
02:24:52.000 I'm on team penis, you know? 0.99
02:24:53.000 I think that's ridiculous. 1.00
02:24:54.000 I think sticking with your race, just as ridiculous. 1.00
02:24:58.000 Sticking with your nationality, equally ridiculous. 1.00
02:25:00.000 I've met fantastic people in England. 0.99
02:25:02.000 I've met some awesome folks in Canada. 1.00
02:25:04.000 It's stupid. 1.00
02:25:05.000 It's like to categorize people or to like, I'm a fucking Patriots fan and those Giants can suck it! 1.00
02:25:11.000 It's the same thing. 1.00
02:25:13.000 You're doing the same thing. 1.00
02:25:13.000 It's dumb. 1.00
02:25:14.000 And it's just as dumb on all sides. 0.99
02:25:17.000 And until that's resolved, you're going to always have these cloudy situations. 0.98
02:25:23.000 It's impossible for someone to rape a woman, which is never going to happen, probably, until we figure out...
02:25:30.000 There's no...
02:25:31.000 I mean, there's a lot of steps before there's no violence and no rape.
02:25:35.000 There's going to be a lot of steps before there's no theft.
02:25:38.000 Probably we're not going to see it in our lifetime, but...
02:25:42.000 We're good to go. 1.00
02:26:01.000 They almost automatically think, oh, she fucking hates men. 1.00
02:26:04.000 They're just really into women. 0.99
02:26:06.000 It creates like a rift when you hear a men's rights organization. 0.52
02:26:10.000 What do you think?
02:26:10.000 I think misogynists.
02:26:12.000 I think fat, lazy misogynists who women don't like, so they come up with a bunch of reasons why women suck. 1.00
02:26:17.000 That's not necessarily correct on either side, but it's still the automatic stereotype that... 1.00
02:26:24.000 Waitress who lied about an anti-gay tip has told far worse lies. 0.98
02:26:27.000 She used to tell her friends that she had survived brain cancer, that she did when in Afghanistan and all her people and her army thing blew up and she was the only survivor, which she never even toured in Afghanistan.
02:26:40.000 That's pretty incriminating.
02:26:43.000 That's not good.
02:26:44.000 Let's get off her. 1.00
02:26:45.000 I don't want to dwell on that poor soul.
02:26:47.000 You know, I agree with what you're saying.
02:26:49.000 I think that the The source of all these problems is scale.
02:26:58.000 It gets back to population levels and the size of communities, right?
02:27:02.000 Have you ever heard of Dunbar's numbers?
02:27:04.000 Yeah.
02:27:05.000 So when you get above Dunbar's number, other people become abstractions, right?
02:27:09.000 Like Stalin. 0.67
02:27:10.000 150 people.
02:27:11.000 Right.
02:27:12.000 Stalin said one death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic, right?
02:27:16.000 So it's...
02:27:17.000 And it does become like that.
02:27:19.000 So if you're, you know, like in her case, she might say, well, I wasn't lying to anybody.
02:27:24.000 I didn't know those people, right?
02:27:26.000 You know, people sending me money, obviously they can spare it, you know, and I need it. 0.98
02:27:32.000 You know, you can make all sorts of excuses because you're not talking directly to the person you fucked. 0.99
02:27:36.000 Right. 0.98
02:27:37.000 And it's the same thing in the legal system.
02:27:40.000 You get minimum mandatory sentencing. 0.99
02:27:42.000 So all these people are going away to fucking prison for 15 years of their life. 0.98
02:27:47.000 And the judge is like, this dude's sitting right in front of me. 0.99
02:27:50.000 I can see this person as an individual.
02:27:52.000 He doesn't deserve this.
02:27:54.000 But because it's institutionalized, I have to do it.
02:27:59.000 I really think that as long as we're living in these massive societies where we're constantly dealing with people we don't know in any personal way, there's always going to be that sense of emptiness and the abuse of trust.
02:28:13.000 Yeah, I think you're 100% right.
02:28:15.000 I think we have a real hard time dealing with large numbers of people.
02:28:19.000 You get this weird detachment, like I was saying about Jimmy Norton living in this box with a thousand people that he doesn't know.
02:28:27.000 And also, I wanted to get back to this we were talking about earlier about New York after the Twin Towers.
02:28:32.000 We filmed Fear Factor in New York and I think it was 2002 or maybe 2003 at the latest and it was palpable how friendly people were and what a change it had made and what a sense of community.
02:28:46.000 We had a woman who was with us who may or may not have smoked some of my weed and She was one of the crew and may or may not have been ready for some of my weed and blacked out and actually fainted on the street. 0.99
02:29:01.000 We had to catch her.
02:29:03.000 We were all sitting around.
02:29:05.000 I'm like, you guys want to get high?
02:29:06.000 Maybe.
02:29:07.000 Allegedly I said that.
02:29:08.000 We went outside and she literally lost consciousness.
02:29:12.000 The fireman came and When the firemen came over, first of all, they could have been more friendly, and, you know, they were really nice to her and everything, but the amount of love the firemen were getting from people on the street, like, waving to them, honking at them, you know, like,
02:29:28.000 yelling, shouting nice things across the street, you know?
02:29:31.000 Somebody yelled something about, you know, I love first responders, or something along those lines, and they waved to them, and there was, like, this feeling of appreciation and camaraderie.
02:29:41.000 Think about the American soldiers going into France in World War II, the amount of love they were getting.
02:29:46.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, man, yeah. 0.99
02:29:48.000 Save us from this fucking horror. 0.97
02:29:50.000 Yeah, I mean, it's real life, and that's the thing, man. 0.99
02:29:53.000 We can go through an entire lifetime without ever really experiencing real life.
02:29:57.000 We don't see death. 0.99
02:29:59.000 I mean, I don't know how many dead bodies you've seen, but, you know, I think my grandmother is the only dead body I ever saw, and I had to kiss her on the fucking lips, which was pretty creepy. 0.98
02:30:08.000 Yeah, I saw my grandfather. 0.98
02:30:10.000 Yeah.
02:30:10.000 Same sort of situation.
02:30:12.000 Do you ever, you know this mortician, Ask a Mortician, Caitlin Doughty?
02:30:18.000 She would be a funny guest for you to meet or just to hang out.
02:30:21.000 She's like a hip, young, sexy mortician. 1.00
02:30:26.000 She's got a show called Ask a Mortician that gets hundreds of thousands of hits. 0.99
02:30:30.000 A hip, young, sexy mortician.
02:30:32.000 Ask a Mortician. 0.99
02:30:34.000 That sounds ridiculous.
02:30:35.000 I had her on my podcast.
02:30:37.000 She was fantastic. 0.66
02:30:39.000 She's... 1.00
02:30:40.000 She's just fascinated by death, and there she is.
02:30:44.000 Whoa.
02:30:44.000 She's pretty hot.
02:30:47.000 Damn, she's hot from mortician, but still. 1.00
02:30:51.000 That's just so weird. 0.99
02:30:53.000 Can't do it.
02:30:54.000 Sorry, too crazy.
02:30:54.000 And her story is cool, man.
02:30:56.000 How cool could it really be?
02:30:58.000 Well, she's... 0.99
02:30:59.000 I mean, it's really cool because, you know, the thing is we come to these moments in our lives where we have to face death and we get some creepy dude in a bad suit, you know, selling us overpriced.
02:31:08.000 By the way, what's going on with a $12,000 hermetically sealed stainless steel coffin? 0.98
02:31:13.000 What the fuck are we saying with that? 0.99
02:31:15.000 Yeah, we're saying we're ripping you off. 0.99
02:31:17.000 Yeah.
02:31:18.000 Joey Diaz has a good line on that because one of his buddies that he went to school with, his family owned a funeral parlor and they were just pretty open about what a rip-off it is and how they scam you and how they get you in a period where you're in great grief and they say,
02:31:33.000 you know, wouldn't you like to represent your family in a very beautiful way and we can offer this fantastic walnut line coffin.
02:31:39.000 This is the finest velour interior.
02:31:44.000 Finest galore.
02:31:45.000 And, you know, these people, they don't want to feel bad that they're not taking care of their loved ones.
02:31:50.000 Of course.
02:31:51.000 So they spend insane amounts of money.
02:31:53.000 And then there's a scam where even if you want to accremate someone, you still have to embalm the body.
02:32:00.000 So they have to embalm the body, prepare it for preservation.
02:32:04.000 You know, the embalming, Caitlin, and I talked about this, that's American.
02:32:08.000 Nobody else embalms bodies.
02:32:09.000 Really?
02:32:09.000 Yeah.
02:32:09.000 Yeah.
02:32:10.000 This whole, like, take out the blood, put in toothpaste.
02:32:12.000 That's American.
02:32:13.000 And you know where it came from?
02:32:15.000 Where?
02:32:15.000 Civil War.
02:32:16.000 Really?
02:32:17.000 Yeah, because they wanted to...
02:32:18.000 So many guys are dying, and their families wanted to bury the body back home on the farm.
02:32:23.000 You know, so the guy dies down in, you know, wherever, Georgia.
02:32:27.000 They have to get the body back to Pennsylvania.
02:32:28.000 It's going to rot, you know, because it's going in a wagon behind a horse or something.
02:32:32.000 So that's when they started the embalming thing so they could get the bodies back home.
02:32:37.000 And it just took off and became an American tradition.
02:32:40.000 And it became also one of those things where it becomes part of the system.
02:32:44.000 Once something is in the system, it becomes an issue where it's really difficult to change that.
02:32:51.000 It's like one of the problems with making drugs illegal.
02:32:54.000 It's like, well, okay, what about all these people that make their living off arresting people for drugs?
02:32:58.000 Right.
02:32:59.000 You know, and that's one of the main issues as far as lobbying is concerned is prison guard unions.
02:33:06.000 Prison guard unions spend a lot of money to make sure that certain drugs remain legal or illegal.
02:33:10.000 And the companies that make these private prisons.
02:33:13.000 Yes.
02:33:14.000 You know, the state has to guarantee them a 98% occupancy rate.
02:33:18.000 Oh.
02:33:18.000 So you've got to come up with the bodies.
02:33:20.000 Oh my god, that's so fucking crazy. 0.97
02:33:23.000 A funny example of that is in Spain... 0.99
02:33:25.000 Well, funny, but, you know, less tragic, I guess, example.
02:33:28.000 In Spain, they've got an industry of dubbing films and TV shows.
02:33:33.000 And it's really advanced.
02:33:35.000 So, like, the guy who does Woody Allen always does Woody Allen.
02:33:38.000 So Spanish people associate that voice with Woody Allen.
02:33:41.000 And apparently it's a real art form, right?
02:33:44.000 Whereas in Portugal...
02:33:46.000 Subtitles.
02:33:46.000 Everything's been subtitled forever.
02:33:48.000 So there's no tradition of dubbing.
02:33:50.000 There's no dubbing industry in Portugal.
02:33:53.000 So you go to Portugal, everybody speaks English.
02:33:56.000 The guy checking you, you know, taking your money at the gas station speaks English.
02:34:02.000 Yeah.
02:34:10.000 Yeah.
02:34:24.000 Just so they don't lose their jobs, you know?
02:34:26.000 That's fascinating.
02:34:28.000 Yeah, hundreds of millions of euros spent, if not billions, on English classes, and it's completely unnecessary.
02:34:35.000 Just get rid of those 30 guys who make a living dubbing. 0.79
02:34:38.000 And everybody will have to learn English.
02:34:40.000 Or not!
02:34:41.000 Well, they won't have to learn it because they'll grow up watching it on TV and hearing it.
02:34:44.000 Wow.
02:34:45.000 Yeah.
02:34:45.000 That's wild.
02:34:47.000 Yeah, there's a lot of weird things like that where something becomes a part of the system, and even though it's illogical, it just remains because it's a tradition.
02:34:53.000 That keyboard right in front of you.
02:34:55.000 Yeah, QWERTY. Yeah.
02:34:56.000 Folks don't know.
02:34:57.000 Explain that.
02:34:58.000 Well, the layout of the keyboard, the placement of the letters, is the way it is because of frequency of use.
02:35:07.000 And so they tried to space the letters out so that you wouldn't hit two letters that were next to each other where the arm came up on the typewriter so that the arms would tangle.
02:35:19.000 So they tried to make it so that The arms that came up would be spaced out, so they laid out the keyboard that way.
02:35:27.000 So it's a very inefficient way to have a keyboard because it's based upon the demands of a machine that no longer exists.
02:35:35.000 It's not based upon ease of use.
02:35:38.000 Which, I mean, really, that's a metaphor for society in general, is what I've been saying the whole time, you know?
02:35:44.000 Like, the interests of the corporation, the interests of these institutions, supersede the interest of the person.
02:35:51.000 So people always say to me when I get into these arguments about human nature, like, yeah, but we're people, we can decide, you know, we can free will, yada, yada, yada.
02:35:59.000 But, you know, you do want a shoe that's more or less shaped like a foot.
02:36:03.000 Yeah.
02:36:04.000 Right? 1.00
02:36:05.000 If your shoe strays too far from the shape of a foot, you're fucked. 1.00
02:36:09.000 Right. 1.00
02:36:09.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:36:10.000 And so, yeah, the keyboard's a good example of that.
02:36:13.000 Have they made one that's like, oh, this would be the...
02:36:16.000 Oh, yeah.
02:36:16.000 There's a much more efficient key layout, but the problem is you would have to, first of all, you'd have to change your key.
02:36:22.000 You'd have to bring it to a place and get it done, or if you have an actual external keyboard, you can get it and learn it.
02:36:28.000 But it's really weird.
02:36:30.000 And you'd have to relearn.
02:36:32.000 So there's this vested interest.
02:36:34.000 I can type pretty goddamn fast, and I don't have to look at it.
02:36:37.000 I can just do it where I'm talking to you. 0.67
02:36:39.000 As long as I feel those little nubs on the F and the J, I'm good to go.
02:36:43.000 But I know where the system is.
02:36:45.000 I know where everything is.
02:36:47.000 Apparently, though, it's not the best way.
02:36:49.000 And the other way is statistically quite a bit faster.
02:36:53.000 It's like Esperanto.
02:36:55.000 What's that?
02:36:56.000 Esperanto is this...
02:36:58.000 Like an artificial language that was invented, I think late 19th century.
02:37:03.000 Not Ebonics.
02:37:05.000 Do you know that I, on my resume, I have Ebonics to English translator.
02:37:12.000 That's a good move.
02:37:13.000 I have been paid.
02:37:14.000 Really?
02:37:15.000 I have been paid to translate from Ebonics to English.
02:37:18.000 So you're like that lady on the movie Airplane. 0.99
02:37:20.000 I speak jive.
02:37:20.000 I speak jive.
02:37:21.000 Exactly.
02:37:23.000 This friend of mine was...
02:37:24.000 How much did you get paid for that?
02:37:26.000 I got paid pretty...
02:37:26.000 I mean, whatever.
02:37:27.000 It was back when I was teaching English in Spain.
02:37:29.000 I was living in Barcelona.
02:37:30.000 This friend of mine was...
02:37:32.000 A Spanish woman was a translator for an independent film festival that they have every year in Barcelona called InEdit.
02:37:38.000 And so she calls me up and she says...
02:37:41.000 Hey, Chris, do you understand black people? 0.99
02:37:45.000 And I thought she meant conceptually, you know?
02:37:48.000 I was like, yeah, definitely, some, you know, whatever, as much as I understand anyone.
02:37:54.000 And she's like, no, no, the way they talk, like, oh, yeah, whatever.
02:37:57.000 So the story was that that year, the films were all about the original bebop guys, the origins of hip-hop in Brooklyn in the 70s, I guess.
02:38:06.000 And Delta Bluesmen.
02:38:08.000 And so these Spanish translators who spoke English very, very well would listen to these dudes and they couldn't understand what they were saying.
02:38:15.000 So they had me come down.
02:38:16.000 At first they had called a black guy, but he was British and he didn't understand them, right?
02:38:21.000 So then they're like, well, I know a white guy, but he's American.
02:38:24.000 So my job was to go down, sit there next to a translator, watch this DVD with the pause thing, and just, you know, pause.
02:38:31.000 And like, you know, the dude would be like...
02:38:33.000 Yeah, we're up in my crib, and it's like, stop.
02:38:35.000 That means they went back to his apartment.
02:38:37.000 I didn't even have to translate it into Spanish.
02:38:40.000 I also was the in-house editor and translator for the biggest porn company in the world.
02:38:45.000 Whoa.
02:38:46.000 Private, yeah.
02:38:47.000 In-house translator?
02:38:49.000 And editor, yeah.
02:38:50.000 So you had to translate American porn to Spanish?
02:38:54.000 Again, what I pretty much did in that job was translate from bad English to better English.
02:39:01.000 Because they had someone else who would, like, do the rough translation, and then they'd email me the documents, and I just had to go through and clean it up.
02:39:08.000 And they're funny things like, for example, in German, tail, the word tail refers to penis. 0.78
02:39:17.000 So I remember one of the first ones I was translating, it was like for some hardcore porn mag, you know? 0.97
02:39:23.000 And there were two dudes...
02:39:26.000 Wagging their tails?
02:39:27.000 Yeah, and one of the dudes, or the woman looked at the dudes and was like, oh, you guys have nice tails, or nice tail. 1.00
02:39:35.000 And I was like, whoa, wait a minute, in English, tails, you know, the woman, it's completely different. 0.56
02:39:40.000 But anyway, that was a weird gig.
02:39:42.000 That was the gig that, strangely enough, led me to meet Paulo Coelho, the Brazilian writer.
02:39:49.000 You know him?
02:39:50.000 No.
02:39:50.000 He wrote The Alchemist, like the best-selling book in the history of humanity.
02:39:55.000 What is The Alchemist about?
02:39:57.000 The Alchemist is a story about the prodigal son.
02:40:03.000 It's what Joseph Campbell called the hero with a thousand faces, right?
02:40:07.000 It's a guy born in southern Spain, goes on a quest, goes through northern Africa, meets all these characters, and they give him challenges and tests and things, and then he goes through the tests and he goes back home and he finds the treasure he was looking for all the time,
02:40:23.000 right?
02:40:24.000 The Odyssey.
02:40:25.000 It's the same story.
02:40:26.000 It's not a good book.
02:40:26.000 I'm not recommending it.
02:40:28.000 It just sold more books than any book since the Bible.
02:40:31.000 Really?
02:40:31.000 Yeah, it's a huge bestseller.
02:40:33.000 Wow.
02:40:33.000 Paulo Cuello is an industry.
02:40:35.000 Like, you go to a bookstore, there will be a Paulo Cuello stand with...
02:40:39.000 But they're not good books. 0.99
02:40:41.000 It's new age bullshit. 0.97
02:40:42.000 You know, it takes the oldest story in the world, retells it and calls it new and makes a lot of money. 1.00
02:40:50.000 People love new age bullshit though, don't they? 0.99
02:40:51.000 They do. 0.99
02:40:52.000 There's this, the knowing that something's wrong and searching for an answer and finding one that has the most mystical qualities attached to it. 0.99
02:40:59.000 That's new age bullshit, isn't it? 0.99
02:41:00.000 It is. 1.00
02:41:01.000 Do you know Jamie Ian Swiss, the magician?
02:41:04.000 No.
02:41:05.000 I was interviewing him.
02:41:06.000 He's like the world's most famous close-up magician. 1.00
02:41:09.000 He'll do shit in front of you on a table that will blow your fucking mind. 1.00
02:41:13.000 Anyway, he said smart people are the easiest to trick. 1.00
02:41:18.000 Really?
02:41:18.000 Yeah, because their attention is predictable.
02:41:23.000 You know where they're going to look.
02:41:24.000 You can pull their attention where you want.
02:41:26.000 They're well-trained.
02:41:27.000 Kids are really tough because kids will look where they're not supposed to look. 0.99
02:41:31.000 And he said he hates doing magic for New Agers because they already believe in all this bullshit. 0.98
02:41:37.000 So it's like, you already believe that Crystal's going to save you? 0.99
02:41:41.000 Then what I do isn't really going to impress you. 0.84
02:41:44.000 It's like selling fake real estate to mentally handicapped people. 1.00
02:41:48.000 Yeah, there's no challenge.
02:41:50.000 What are you doing here? 0.99
02:41:50.000 It's like what Bernie Madoff did, that's a goddamn scam. 0.99
02:41:54.000 A very sophisticated scam and probably there's a lot of satisfaction in tricking all these really smart people to give you your money. 0.99
02:42:00.000 Yeah, but it's also very simple, right?
02:42:02.000 You know, you just lure them in with more money.
02:42:04.000 More money.
02:42:04.000 You know what works for them.
02:42:06.000 Even though people were looking at the numbers going, this is fucking, this doesn't even make any sense. 0.98
02:42:09.000 Like, where's this money coming from? 0.99
02:42:10.000 Like, this doesn't make any sense.
02:42:11.000 You can't do that trick on someone who's not greedy.
02:42:14.000 It's true, right?
02:42:15.000 Yeah.
02:42:15.000 Someone who's frugal and smart and conservative, they're like, hmm, this does not seem like it makes sense.
02:42:20.000 Ooh, I'm going to get out.
02:42:21.000 I don't need it.
02:42:22.000 But Spielberg's like, listen, I'm telling you, the guy's giving me 20% on my investment.
02:42:25.000 Da-da-da-da-da. 0.90
02:42:26.000 So many people lost money with that guy too.
02:42:28.000 Like big, big, big people. 1.00
02:42:30.000 Lots of fucking money. 1.00
02:42:31.000 Lots of money. 1.00
02:42:33.000 Yeah.
02:42:33.000 I was working in the 80s after Alaska.
02:42:36.000 I went there two years and then I got this job in the Diamond District.
02:42:38.000 You lived there for two whole years?
02:42:39.000 Well, two summers.
02:42:40.000 I worked in a cannery the first year and on a boat the second year.
02:42:43.000 A fish cannery?
02:42:45.000 Salmon, yeah.
02:42:45.000 What do they do?
02:42:46.000 How do they do that?
02:42:47.000 Do they boil the fish and then just chop them in a cube?
02:42:48.000 Oh, no, man.
02:42:49.000 It was very intense.
02:42:51.000 I worked in Kenai, Kenai Packers.
02:42:54.000 Still remember them.
02:42:55.000 Respect.
02:42:57.000 And I lived in my tent up on the bluff.
02:43:00.000 You lived in a tent?
02:43:01.000 Yeah, all summer.
02:43:02.000 Like an individual tent?
02:43:04.000 Like a small tent?
02:43:05.000 Yeah.
02:43:05.000 Or like a big tent where a bunch of people are living in?
02:43:07.000 No, it was just my tent.
02:43:09.000 Not like a circus.
02:43:10.000 No, it was a three-man geodesic dome tent, and at one point we got eight people in there having a party.
02:43:18.000 Yeah, that was pretty fun in the rain.
02:43:20.000 We all had to sit with our legs over each other.
02:43:23.000 In a circle, and we're passing the wine and the joints around in the circle.
02:43:27.000 Oh, wow.
02:43:28.000 Playing footsies.
02:43:29.000 That was the first time I ever saw anyone light a fart.
02:43:31.000 That was a historic moment in my life.
02:43:35.000 I've never seen that.
02:43:36.000 I saw it in a video online.
02:43:38.000 Can I show you?
02:43:38.000 Nope.
02:43:39.000 It eliminates the stink.
02:43:42.000 Yeah.
02:43:42.000 It kills the methane, right?
02:43:44.000 Yeah.
02:43:45.000 So I was living there.
02:43:46.000 So the way it works is the fish come in.
02:43:50.000 And, you know, you can get jobs because when the fish come in, they have to process them, like, fast, because they're rotting, right?
02:43:55.000 So the fish come in, they go through this—they come off the boats, they go through this machine, this big, clanking, you know, machine that they call the chink. 0.99
02:44:07.000 And I thought it was called the chink because it, like, you know, chink, chink, chink, chink, chink, chink. 1.00
02:44:10.000 And one day I asked one of the foremen, and he said, oh, no, it's called the chink because Chinese used to do that job.
02:44:17.000 Yeah.
02:44:18.000 And the job was to rip off the head and get as much of the guts as possible.
02:44:25.000 So then the fish go onto these conveyor belts and they come down the slime line.
02:44:30.000 And that's where I was.
02:44:31.000 I was a slime monkey the first year.
02:44:33.000 So you stand there.
02:44:35.000 It's piping, cold water spraying on a cutting board.
02:44:38.000 You're wearing rain gear.
02:44:41.000 Ear plugs because it's so loud.
02:44:43.000 You got a knife in your hand, gloves, and you're just gutting the fish all day.
02:44:47.000 You're getting what the chink missed. 1.00
02:44:49.000 Sometimes it missed everything, so you have to take off the head, the fins, get the guts, get the bloodline off the spine and the back.
02:44:56.000 And then you put it on, you put all that guts, all that stuff into a chute, which I later learned goes into tanks that are sold to pharmaceutical companies.
02:45:06.000 Because the fat from the internal organs and the head of the salmon is the base for a lot of cosmetics.
02:45:12.000 Whoa! 0.71
02:45:13.000 And then the other, the fish, assuming the fish is in decent condition, goes onto another conveyor belt and then it goes down into the canning section where it's chopped.
02:45:23.000 And placed in these cans, so it's just chopped right through.
02:45:26.000 Dude, you have lived some really crazy adventures.
02:45:29.000 You've had a pretty wild and broad life.
02:45:32.000 Well, that was the point, right? 1.00
02:45:33.000 I wanted, I mean, when I was 20, I was like, you know, fuck it, I'm going to die someday. 0.99
02:45:38.000 But it's so romantic that you actually, like, engineered that. 0.99
02:45:42.000 You know, a lot of people don't, you know, they say that maybe they have a rich, crazy life, but it's because they were an alcoholic and they were running from the law.
02:45:48.000 But with you, like, you made a conscious decision to have this adventure.
02:45:52.000 Yeah, it was definitely intentional.
02:45:54.000 And I mean, it helped that I didn't want to have kids, right?
02:45:58.000 So that removed that whole area of problem for me.
02:46:02.000 And it also helped that my parents were sort of upper middle class and really good people.
02:46:08.000 And they were like, you know, the only thing my dad said that first year in Alaska, I called, I said, look, I'm going.
02:46:14.000 I'm going to Japan.
02:46:15.000 I'm just like, forget college.
02:46:16.000 I'm alive, you know?
02:46:18.000 Also about the time I discovered acid, by the way, which helped.
02:46:22.000 I wonder.
02:46:23.000 Connection, maybe?
02:46:24.000 And my dad was like, look, Chris, you know, I'll support you in anything you do.
02:46:28.000 But please, for me, go back to school.
02:46:31.000 Finish.
02:46:31.000 Get your degree.
02:46:32.000 Because it's going to be so hard to go back later.
02:46:34.000 So for my dad, and really, to this day, that's like the only thing he's ever stepped in and said, Please, trust me on this.
02:46:41.000 I went back to school, but I said, I'm not going to live in the dorms. 0.99
02:46:44.000 Because I went to this school full of rich, spoiled assholes. 0.99
02:46:48.000 I mean, George Bush's niece was in my class. 1.00
02:46:51.000 The heir to the Spalding fortune was in my class.
02:46:55.000 So I lived in my tent in the woods behind the art museum.
02:47:00.000 That's awesome.
02:47:01.000 Yeah.
02:47:02.000 Dude, I love talking to you, man.
02:47:03.000 It's so much fun.
02:47:04.000 We're out of time, but we could do this all day.
02:47:06.000 Yeah, yeah, it's fun.
02:47:07.000 We could do this like a hundred times a year.
02:47:08.000 You got a gig tonight, right?
02:47:09.000 Yes, yes.
02:47:10.000 We're at the Ice House. 1.00
02:47:11.000 It's sold out, though, so go fuck yourselves, folks. 1.00
02:47:12.000 If you're trying to buy a ticket, too late. 1.00
02:47:14.000 Tough shit. 1.00
02:47:14.000 You snooze, you lose. 1.00
02:47:15.000 I was going to ask for one.
02:47:16.000 You could get in.
02:47:18.000 Come on, son.
02:47:18.000 You sit on my lap.
02:47:19.000 Get some rose petals. 0.99
02:47:21.000 Listen, he's going to look at you like you looked at that nipple on the plane. 0.97
02:47:23.000 Get some rose petals. 0.97
02:47:25.000 Feed each other rose petals.
02:47:26.000 Think about breastfeeding on planes. 0.88
02:47:30.000 Let's do this again, man.
02:47:31.000 Yeah, anytime.
02:47:32.000 Bring Duncan in here.
02:47:33.000 Well, Duncan, who knows.
02:47:35.000 We'll talk about that off the air.
02:47:36.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:47:37.000 That would be great.
02:47:38.000 Duncan, Daniele, the whole crew.
02:47:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:47:41.000 Daniele Bolelli came on.
02:47:42.000 We've been doing that more lately, having a couple people on.
02:47:45.000 We had Brian Callen and Tom Rhodes on last week.
02:47:48.000 I had Dan Carlin and Daniele Bolelli.
02:47:51.000 That was really fun.
02:47:52.000 So we'll do this again.
02:47:53.000 Yeah.
02:47:54.000 Anytime.
02:47:55.000 I really enjoy it. 0.98
02:47:56.000 Sex at Dawn. 0.98
02:47:56.000 Please buy it. 0.98
02:47:57.000 Go buy it. 0.99
02:47:57.000 It's a fucking fantastic book. 0.99
02:47:59.000 And if you're thinking about breaking up with your relationship, it'll push you over the edge. 0.99
02:48:03.000 I'll tell you that. 0.99
02:48:04.000 It'll give you that extra push you might need if you're in a bad one to be free and to go fucking with no underwear in Alaska. 0.99
02:48:10.000 Hey! 0.99
02:48:12.000 We will see you tonight.
02:48:13.000 If you want to come down, it'll be tonight as Red Band, Matt Fultron, Sam Tripoli, Brian Callen, Dom Herrera.
02:48:21.000 We're going to have a hell of a show.
02:48:22.000 It was supposed to be Greg Fitzsimmons, but unfortunately he has to pick up his mom at the airport.
02:48:26.000 But Greg will be here on the podcast this Friday.
02:48:30.000 So we should have a good time as well.
02:48:31.000 And Greg has a new special out that I listened to on the way home from the Irvine Improv a couple of months ago. 0.94
02:48:37.000 And it's really fucking funny. 0.90
02:48:39.000 Really good stuff.
02:48:40.000 So we will see you soon, my friends.
02:48:43.000 Mad love to all of you.
02:48:44.000 Thanks to Carbonite for sponsoring the podcast.
02:48:46.000 Go to Carbonite.com.
02:48:48.000 Type in the offer code JRE for a free trial.
02:48:52.000 Thanks also to Ting.
02:48:54.000 Go to Rogan.Ting.com and save yourself some money on an awesome company, a company that really does have an ethical solution to all your cell phone needs.
02:49:05.000 Thanks also to Onnit.com.
02:49:07.000 Go to O-N-N-I-T.com.
02:49:09.000 Use the code name ROGAN and save yourself some money.
02:49:12.000 But this Friday we have an even better deal. 0.99
02:49:15.000 This is Black Friday and shit's going to get crazy. 0.99
02:49:18.000 Save massive amounts of money. 0.98
02:49:20.000 25% off supplements, 15% off foods, 10% off fitness packages, plus an additional 5% off orders over $150 or 10% off orders over $250.
02:49:29.000 So for big orders that's like 35% off supplements and 20% off fitness.
02:49:34.000 It's very powerful.
02:49:36.000 And that's it.
02:49:37.000 You got something going on?
02:49:37.000 Yeah, this weekend I'll be with Joey Diaz in San Diego at the American Comedy Coast Saturday.
02:49:41.000 I'm going to be at his show, but he has shows Friday and Saturday.
02:49:44.000 And then December 11th, I'll be in San Jose Improv at the Comedy Palace with...
02:49:48.000 Brody Stevens and Sam Tripoli and probably a bunch of other comics there.
02:49:52.000 Good googly moogly.
02:49:54.000 You can't miss it.
02:49:55.000 December 13th, I'm at the Crest Theater in Sacramento with the lovely twink Tony Hinchcliffe.
02:50:01.000 And then on the 27th, I'm at the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada with Joey Diaz and Brian Cowan. 0.99
02:50:10.000 Shit shall be crazy. 0.96
02:50:12.000 Alright, we love the fuck out of people and we will see you soon. 1.00
02:50:15.000 Keep it together, bitches. 1.00
02:50:16.000 We're all in this... 1.00
02:50:17.000 As one.
02:50:18.000 Big kiss.