The Joe Rogan Experience - February 03, 2014


Joe Rogan Experience #448 - Tom Segura

Topics
LegalZoom.com vitamin supplementation effects vitamins and supplements slavery comparisons and homophobia Russia dictatorship simulation theory Thomas Edison elephant experiment peanut allergy DNA change heroin addiction generalizations slut shaming taking a shit satellite radio censorship
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Tom Segura
Mentioned
Tommy Bunz Thomas Edison Jesus Christ Anthony Joe Rogan Podcast Uriah Faber Opie Brian Holtzman Frank Mir Kenny Powers Jamie Vernon Roger Ebert Jake Radio Rotten Tomatoes Melissa Etheridge Christy Brinkley Abel Trujillo Howard Stern Eddie Bravo Tom Segura and 84 more
Joe Rogan Experience #446 - Andreas Antonopoulos Joe Rogan Experience #449 - Justin Martindale

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 55 minutes

Words per minute

190.75

Word count

33,479

Sentence count

3,704

Harmful content

Misogyny

143

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,366

sentences flagged

Hate speech

115

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of the pod, Joe talks about his weekend in NYC with the people behind Squarespace and how awesome they are. Also, we talk about the new Higher Primate t-shirts that are available for purchase on the site, and how much better they are than the ones you would have expected. And of course, we have a new sponsor, LegalZoom, who makes it so easy to do stuff that you used to struggle to do, like incorporating a LLC, making a will, and all the other things you'd have to go through more than once to get an issue to an attorney. You can become an outrageous LLC starting at $99.99, and then go home and protect your family with a stupid amount of money that can be simply eliminated with an outrageous form that's simply $99 for your family. That's an outrageous amount of shit you can do easily and easily for a family that will be able to protect you and your family from all the bullshit you do in the office. You can do it in a way that saves you a lot of time, money, and you can protect them from all of the bullshit they do in their office. You don't have to be a lawyer, you can be an outrageous person who does it for free. And you don't even have to pay for it. It's not even $99, it's just $99! that's $99 and you get out of the office with a bunch of stuff you can easily. That's outrageous! We also have a free trial and 10% off your first purchase! You'll get 10% all year long when you use code JOEJOEJoe. That means you get a FREE trial and a whole bunch more than $99 starting at .99 and then you get an additional $10% off of the first purchase at $1,000. That includes shipping, shipping, handling, and shipping, plus a free copy of the book, and an extra $5,000 in the book that comes with the book. We're giving you a discount on the book and all kinds of other goodies! I'm giving you $5 and shipping it to you get to write a review on my website, and I'll be helping you an amazing deal on the next episode of Just One Joe. Just JOE is giving you an ad-free version of Just The Word Joe. Just One JOE!

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:02.000 Hey, you fuckers. 1.00
00:00:03.000 What are you doing? 1.00
00:00:05.000 Got to meet the Squarespace people this weekend in Manhattan with the great Tommy Bones!
00:00:11.000 Tommy Bones in the house, ladies and gentlemen. 0.99
00:00:14.000 And they couldn't be fucking cooler. 0.98
00:00:16.000 They were exactly what I thought they'd be. 0.99
00:00:17.000 Bunch of smart-looking young cats.
00:00:22.000 Very cool guys.
00:00:23.000 It was really fun. 0.98
00:00:24.000 New York was fucking fantastic. 1.00
00:00:27.000 Goddamn, that was fun. 1.00
00:00:28.000 It was a great time. 0.98
00:00:29.000 Woo! 0.99
00:00:30.000 It was fun in so many ways. 1.00
00:00:31.000 That fucking show was intense. 1.00
00:00:33.000 The show, well, we'll talk about that later, but the Squarespace guys were cool as fuck. 0.99
00:00:37.000 And it's always nice when you have a sponsor that not only you believe in, but you meet the people that are behind the sponsorship, the company, whatever, and they're really cool. 0.81
00:00:47.000 And they were super happy, too.
00:00:49.000 You could tell that their product is actually awesome.
00:00:52.000 That so many people use it and enjoy it.
00:00:55.000 What Squarespace is is a website that allows you to make your own websites.
00:00:58.000 Super easy to do.
00:01:00.000 If you can do any of the normal functions on your computer, drag and drop and click and point and all that shit, you can make a website.
00:01:07.000 Kara Santamaria, who was on the podcast last week, runs her website through Squarespace.
00:01:10.000 She was talking about how easy it is for her to organize all of her media.
00:01:13.000 If you've got a store, you can put an online store up Super quick and easy with Squarespace.
00:01:20.000 They have awesome support 24-7.
00:01:23.000 If you're confused and you can't figure out what to do, they can help you through it.
00:01:27.000 And they also have it so that if you're a musician, you can sell music on your site.
00:01:32.000 There's so much cool shit about Squarespace, and the most beautiful thing is I've never heard one person say that it's not awesome.
00:01:39.000 I love it.
00:01:40.000 I love Squarespace.
00:01:41.000 You guys use it?
00:01:42.000 Well, I've been to the site a lot, and I work with them too, and I feel like it's...
00:01:48.000 The thing that I always think about is the fact that in today's day and age, it blows your mind when someone still doesn't have a website.
00:01:54.000 If you have this as a tool, it just makes sense.
00:01:58.000 No matter what, if you cut grass, it's like, why wouldn't you have, hey, go here and you see me and contact me here and see what I do?
00:02:06.000 You have no excuse to not have a site.
00:02:07.000 So easy.
00:02:08.000 Yeah, we gave away four different one-year memberships to Squarespace and four new Higher Primate t-shirts.
00:02:16.000 Which have all been restocked.
00:02:17.000 The higher primary t-shirts have been restocked. 0.98
00:02:19.000 I'm sorry I'm slow with that shit. 0.99
00:02:21.000 But I'm a busy little boy. 0.98
00:02:23.000 Now, for a free trial and 10% off your first purchase at Squarespace, go to squarespace.com and enter in the code JOE. That's it.
00:02:32.000 Just JOE. Remember when there was numbers behind it?
00:02:35.000 Apparently not anymore.
00:02:36.000 They give up. 1.00
00:02:37.000 They realize that shit is ridiculous. 1.00
00:02:40.000 JOE 1, JOE 2, JOE 3, JOE... Stop! 1.00
00:02:44.000 It's only one Joe.
00:02:45.000 I'm right, there's plenty of Joes. 1.00
00:02:47.000 That's not true at all.
00:02:48.000 Nah. 0.99
00:02:48.000 There's a goddamn pile of them. 0.99
00:02:52.000 That is the most overused name in the world, probably. 0.99
00:02:56.000 Right next to Juan and Jose.
00:02:57.000 In the world of podcasts, there's only one JoJo.
00:02:59.000 Oh, you're so sweet.
00:03:01.000 That's why you're here.
00:03:03.000 Go to Squarespace.
00:03:06.000 And they have also launched a logo creator where you can create a clean, simple logo design yourself in minutes. 0.88
00:03:14.000 How fucking awesome is this website?
00:03:16.000 And could it get more awesome? 0.96
00:03:18.000 I say it can't.
00:03:20.000 So go there and enjoy.
00:03:23.000 Code Word Joe.
00:03:24.000 We've also been sponsored for quite a while now by LegalZoom, another outstanding website that makes it so easy to do shit that you used to normally struggle to do, like any sort of a legal issue, incorporating, forming an LLC,
00:03:39.000 or making a will, all those things.
00:03:42.000 You used to have to go to an attorney probably more than once.
00:03:45.000 You'd have to fill out a bunch of paperwork, pay a bunch of money, Way cheapier, that's a new word, to do on LegalZoom.
00:03:55.000 LegalZoom, you can form an LLC starting at $99.
00:03:58.000 That's outrageous. 1.00
00:03:59.000 If you think about how much fucking time it takes to actually go to a lawyer's office, drive there, park, take the bus, whatever the fuck you do, get out, go in, sit there, go through all the bullshit, pay a stupid amount of money, and then go home. 1.00
00:04:15.000 That's... 1.00
00:04:16.000 All that can be eliminated simply and easily for $99 on LegalZoom.
00:04:20.000 You can protect your family with a will for just $69, get a living trust, power of attorney.
00:04:26.000 They get the job done right, ladies and gentlemen.
00:04:28.000 Nine out of ten customers would recommend the service to their friends and family. 1.00
00:04:32.000 And you know that I know that one out of every ten people is a fucking idiot, for sure. 1.00
00:04:37.000 At least. 1.00
00:04:38.000 Well, that accounts for that one out of ten.
00:04:40.000 I don't know.
00:04:41.000 All this point and click, you can't even do it for me?
00:04:46.000 This is clever marketing.
00:04:47.000 Look, it says here, you get the personal legal plan, and that's for babies.
00:04:51.000 But a business legal plan, that's for adults.
00:04:54.000 That is interesting.
00:04:55.000 I would think that that's actually for family.
00:04:57.000 That's how I would look at it.
00:04:58.000 You need a will, though.
00:04:59.000 You need a will.
00:05:00.000 If you don't have a will and you're an adult, you know you're going to die.
00:05:03.000 Well, the government just says, we'll take it.
00:05:05.000 Yeah.
00:05:06.000 Just snatch up most of your money. 0.95
00:05:07.000 And you've got to fucking scrap for it and figure out who deserves it. 0.99
00:05:10.000 Yeah, that sucks, right? 0.99
00:05:12.000 That they get to tell people. 0.86
00:05:13.000 I wonder what the actual laws are as far as, I'm saying the government scratches up all your money, but I know they definitely get a little bit...
00:05:18.000 Yeah.
00:05:19.000 I don't know how it works. 0.99
00:05:20.000 You know what's fucked, man? 0.99
00:05:22.000 What's really fucked is inheritance tax, which means that say if you, Tommy Buns, leave behind a child some money, like say one day you're a wealthy man and you work your ass off and you love the shit out of your kid, your kid wants to be a surfer or whatever the fuck, 0.99
00:05:38.000 and you're like, I'm going to give my kid all my money. 0.98
00:05:40.000 Well, your kid doesn't get all your money.
00:05:41.000 Your kid gets the money that is left over after he pays taxes on the money that you already paid taxes on.
00:05:49.000 Right.
00:05:49.000 It's money that you earned.
00:05:51.000 Is that a state tax?
00:05:52.000 Is that what that is called?
00:05:53.000 Yeah.
00:05:53.000 It's creepy.
00:05:55.000 It's just like a piece.
00:05:57.000 But you had your piece.
00:05:58.000 Yeah.
00:05:58.000 This is all clean money.
00:05:59.000 It's like if a guy gives you $100, he says, Tommy, I like you, and I know you would want $100.
00:06:04.000 I'm going to give you $100.
00:06:05.000 Do you really have to report that for earning, and do you have to pay taxes on that?
00:06:08.000 That's a gift. 1.00
00:06:09.000 What are you doing, you creepy cunts? 0.99
00:06:11.000 You know when someone's working for someone and someone's not. 1.00
00:06:14.000 You know when someone's actually getting a paycheck or someone's getting a gift, and you know that inheritance is money that somebody already fucking paid for, man. 0.56
00:06:21.000 If you want to leave your kid $10,000 and it turns out to be $6,000, Why not?
00:06:27.000 Why isn't it $10,000? 1.00
00:06:28.000 Why do you get $4,000, you fucking creeps? 0.99
00:06:30.000 It changed hands, so we get paid again. 0.99
00:06:32.000 They double taxed.
00:06:34.000 That's why you need to leave your kids money in Bitcoin.
00:06:39.000 It would have been better if you said that without stumbling through it.
00:06:41.000 Or maybe cash in a mattress. 0.63
00:06:43.000 At least stuff it in there. 0.99
00:06:44.000 Yeah, I mean, I have a hole in the ground with a fucking vault in it. 0.96
00:06:48.000 It's bizarre that people think it's okay to pay taxes on something twice. 0.99
00:06:53.000 Here's another issue, too, when it comes to taxes and inheritance and shit. 0.98
00:06:58.000 People who are broke... 0.98
00:07:00.000 There's a lot of people that are ambitious, and they're hardworking, and they're struggling, and they're trying to put it together, but there's a lot of also people that are broke that are cunts, and they want everybody else to be broke too, and they think that somehow if you pay more taxes, it's going to help the economy or help them. 0.73
00:07:14.000 No, it's not. 0.98
00:07:15.000 It's going to give money to some fucking people that are going to be incompetent with it. 0.99
00:07:18.000 Let's be honest about what the fuck's going on with your taxes. 1.00
00:07:21.000 It's not going to fix the fucking homeless problem. 0.99
00:07:24.000 It's not going to fix the school system if you take 10% of this guy's money that his dad left him. 0.99
00:07:29.000 Just stop.
00:07:29.000 You're stealing.
00:07:30.000 You're stealing and you're throwing it into an incompetent system.
00:07:33.000 That has nothing to do with LegalZoom.com.
00:07:36.000 LegalZoom.com in the past 12 years has helped over 2 million Americans.
00:07:40.000 And they've saved a ton of money.
00:07:41.000 Their online process could not be easier, and they will take care of you from start to finish.
00:07:46.000 And you get a special discount from listening to this podcast.
00:07:48.000 Make sure you enter Rogan in the referral box at checkout for more savings.
00:07:52.000 LegalZoom is not a law firm, but they can connect you with a third-party attorney and provide you with self-help services.
00:07:58.000 Third-party attorney is really important.
00:08:01.000 There are independent attorneys that they can connect you with. 0.99
00:08:03.000 So if you freak out and you're in the middle of filling out this shit and you're like, God damn it, I can't do this. 0.98
00:08:07.000 They will connect you to a lawyer, which you were going to have to do in the first place before you found out about LegalZoom. 0.99
00:08:12.000 But most likely, you're not going to need it.
00:08:13.000 You're not one of those 1 out of 10, are you? 1.00
00:08:15.000 You fuckwit. 0.99
00:08:16.000 Anyway, go to LegalZoom.com and see how they can help you out today. 0.98
00:08:21.000 Use the code word ROGAN. We're also brought to you by Onnit.com.
00:08:25.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. We are a human optimization site. 0.98
00:08:30.000 We sell you the best shit we can find, whether it's protein powder or supplements like Digest Tech and a digestive enzyme supplement or the finest hemp protein powder we can get. 0.99
00:08:43.000 We sell all shit that I think can be used to benefit your life. 0.99
00:08:50.000 To optimize your health. 1.00
00:08:51.000 To sharpen your focus.
00:08:53.000 To heighten your mood.
00:08:54.000 To make you feel a little groovier.
00:08:56.000 To give your life what it needs.
00:08:59.000 On at 180. It's one of my favorite things that I take with me on the road every time.
00:09:03.000 And it's a nutrient-based, rejuvenating energy drink mix.
00:09:08.000 I mean, when I say energy, I don't mean like a speed.
00:09:11.000 It's like AlphaBrain. 0.93
00:09:12.000 It's got a bunch of different shit in it, but it's got Shroom Tech, it's got 5-HTP from New Mood, it's got all the neurotransmitter support of AlphaBrain with a bunch of different shit into it as well. 0.96
00:09:25.000 It's great when I travel, when I do UFCs or something and I have to Spent a lot of time on planes and also working out when I'm there and dehydrated and, you know, God forbid if you're out drinking. 0.97
00:09:40.000 This will help.
00:09:41.000 It will help in a big way.
00:09:43.000 Give your body the nutrients it deserves, ladies and gentlemen.
00:09:47.000 It will change your life. 0.98
00:09:48.000 There's a lot of fucking talk online about From a lot of salacious headlines about multivitamins don't work. 0.99
00:09:54.000 When you look into those multivitamins don't work claims, what you find is that the tests that they were using in order to determine that multivitamins don't work were really ridiculous. 0.98
00:10:06.000 What they're doing is they're saying that people who are over 65 who have had heart attacks Don't benefit from multivitamins, synthetic multivitamins.
00:10:17.000 That's essentially one of their main points of their study.
00:10:22.000 Their study had three parts to it.
00:10:24.000 It's a really bizarre study.
00:10:26.000 One of them was that They showed that high-dose multivitamins had no effect on the progression of heart disease and heart attacks of virus.
00:10:36.000 The other one was the male physicians over 65 showed no improvement in cognitive decline using generic multivitamin supplementation. 0.97
00:10:45.000 So what they're doing is they're taking people that are really fucked up already and dying, old people. 1.00
00:10:50.000 They're giving them multivitamins that are synthetic. 0.99
00:10:53.000 Generic.
00:10:53.000 Generic, and they're not showing improvement in cognitive decline.
00:10:57.000 Well, let's be honest.
00:10:58.000 First of all, When someone's having cognitive decline, it's over.
00:11:02.000 You're not going to get younger.
00:11:04.000 You're going to get older.
00:11:05.000 There's almost nothing that improves cognitive decline in people who are old and they're falling apart.
00:11:12.000 Almost nothing.
00:11:13.000 Unless there's some new miracles that come out.
00:11:16.000 So what they're saying is essentially vitamins can't do miracles.
00:11:19.000 They can't do any of the miracles that modern science and modern medicine hasn't been able to do either.
00:11:24.000 There's no medicines that they can give you that slow cognitive decline in old people.
00:11:29.000 I mean, you can maybe cut out a few things in your life that you're doing that are hurting you, like drinking or cleaning up your diet, giving yourself less inflammation. 0.99
00:11:38.000 There's a bunch of things you can do to slow down the process, but when you're fucking dying, you're fucking dying, man. 0.99
00:11:45.000 So, for someone to make a study saying that vitamins don't work and they're a waste of money, based on these, that shit is so irresponsible. 1.00
00:11:55.000 It's so irresponsible. 0.99
00:11:56.000 And this is coming from, we don't even sell multivitamins.
00:11:59.000 You know, I think that the best vitamins that you can get into your body are the closest to how nature intends them, meaning food-based vitamins.
00:12:10.000 Nutrients that are based on actual food, not synthetics.
00:12:13.000 And synthetics, I'm sure, are better than nothing. 0.95
00:12:16.000 The idea that they're not is ridiculous.
00:12:18.000 The idea that there's a reason why they know that vitamin C cures scurvy, prevents scurvy.
00:12:24.000 There's a reason why they know that when you have a lack of calcium, your body can get osteoporosis.
00:12:31.000 This is all facts and science. 0.95
00:12:34.000 People love to shit on things that are controversial when they do not have all the evidence. 0.98
00:12:40.000 They love to be a naysayer. 1.00
00:12:42.000 They love to call bullshit. 1.00
00:12:44.000 And they love to call bullshit when they're fucking wrong. 1.00
00:12:46.000 And with vitamins and supplementation, I think they're wrong in a huge way. 1.00
00:12:51.000 I prefer to get my vitamins.
00:12:54.000 Look, I take a lot of different nutrients and a lot of different vitamins.
00:12:56.000 But I prefer to get my vitamins mostly from green drink powders.
00:13:01.000 Powders that are essentially dehydrated greens.
00:13:04.000 We sell superfoods on, we call them earthgrown nutrients, on Onnit.com, and it's based on that idea.
00:13:14.000 Based on the idea that the things that are the closest to what you eat in the real world if you have a healthy diet, are they going to be the things that your body digests the best.
00:13:24.000 And what we have in this superfood, powerfood diet, First of all, we have various greens.
00:13:36.000 We have antioxidants.
00:13:37.000 The greens that we have All these earth-grown nutrients, it's essentially food that they just take the water out and all the nutrients are left.
00:13:45.000 Is it as good as eating fresh vegetables?
00:13:48.000 Absolutely not.
00:13:49.000 But it's close.
00:13:50.000 It's close enough so that if your diet is off, if you're not getting enough vegetables, if you're not getting enough raw nutrients and minerals, you're gonna have a much better time adding something to your diet than just allowing your body to be in that sort of a situation where it's at a deficit.
00:14:07.000 We're going to have some doctors on, some scientists in the near future that are extreme advocates for multivitamin supplementation.
00:14:15.000 And we've had many conversations with these people because of these sort of salacious headlines that people are really pissed off because they've seen some...
00:14:24.000 Improvement in their patients with various things.
00:14:27.000 I mean, there's been several studies that have showed improvement in preventing infectious illnesses, improvement in mood and stress, cognition, work stress, and even juvenile delinquency, a noted help.
00:14:41.000 Multivitamins. 0.99
00:14:41.000 And these are not bullshit studies on the Daily Mail or some shit. 0.99
00:14:47.000 This is all on PubMed sites. 0.98
00:14:51.000 These are all published papers.
00:14:54.000 And the effect of multivitamin and mineral supplementation on juvenile delinquency amongst American school children.
00:15:00.000 A randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled trial. 0.99
00:15:03.000 So, shut the fuck up about vitamins don't help you. 0.99
00:15:06.000 Because they do. 1.00
00:15:07.000 They are the building blocks of life.
00:15:10.000 They are nutrients.
00:15:11.000 They are what you need in order to live your life optimized.
00:15:15.000 And obviously, I'm not a scientist. 0.82
00:15:18.000 And obviously, I barely get through The shit that I do understand, but the reality of all this stuff is that the more healthy nutrients you get into your body, the better your body is going to work. 0.97
00:15:28.000 It's really that simple. 0.94
00:15:29.000 Use the code word ROGAN and you will save 10% off any and all supplements.
00:15:36.000 One of the key points about Onnit supplements is we have a 90 pill, 30 day, 100% money back guarantee.
00:15:42.000 You don't even have to return the product.
00:15:44.000 If you try something like Alpha Brain or Shroom Tech and you don't like it, you just say you don't like it and you get your money back. 1.00
00:15:50.000 You can't just keep doing that every month, you silly bitch. 1.00
00:15:52.000 But the idea is that we're selling you something that we believe in so much that we want to make it as accessible as possible. 0.99
00:15:59.000 We want to make it so that When you have this relationship with us, if you're buying these supplements, you feel like this is good.
00:16:07.000 This is an ethical, good way to do this.
00:16:09.000 They sell me something at a reasonable rate that is the best stuff that they can find, and if I don't agree with it, I get my money back. 0.98
00:16:18.000 No one does that, and the reason why we do it is because we are selling you the best shit we can find. 0.99
00:16:23.000 The shit that we use. 0.99
00:16:25.000 Everything we sell we use. 1.00
00:16:26.000 I use all the strength and conditioning equipment.
00:16:29.000 I use all the supplements.
00:16:31.000 And I talk too much.
00:16:32.000 Onnit.com.
00:16:33.000 O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word ROGAN. Save yourself 10% off any and all supplements.
00:16:37.000 And the Higher Primate shirts.
00:16:39.000 They're all in stock. 0.99
00:16:41.000 I know I'm fucking real slow at getting them bitches going. 1.00
00:16:44.000 But they're all in stock now. 0.98
00:16:46.000 And some new ones coming.
00:16:47.000 That's higherprimate.com.
00:16:49.000 Boom! 0.99
00:16:49.000 Tommy Bunz is here. 0.99
00:16:52.000 Cue the music.
00:16:55.000 Joe Rogan Podcast.
00:16:56.000 Check it out.
00:16:57.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:16:59.000 Train by day.
00:17:00.000 Joe Rogan Podcast by night.
00:17:02.000 All day.
00:17:05.000 Now that Nick Diaz doesn't fight in the UFC or hasn't fought in the UFC for a long time, that soundbite is even cooler.
00:17:11.000 Yeah, it is.
00:17:12.000 It's a lucky moment in time.
00:17:16.000 Hilarious.
00:17:17.000 Yeah, this weekend, Tommy Buns and I were in New York having a good time in the Big Apple.
00:17:23.000 That was fun, man.
00:17:24.000 That was fun.
00:17:25.000 That was a good time.
00:17:25.000 The show was insane.
00:17:26.000 They were the nicest fucking people on the planet Earth. 0.99
00:17:28.000 So nice. 0.99
00:17:29.000 Yeah.
00:17:30.000 Yeah, you don't always luck out when you start talking about sizable crowds, when you start talking about over a thousand people.
00:17:35.000 Yeah.
00:17:35.000 But for them to be that nice felt like a room of...
00:17:38.000 Well, it was kind of a screwy situation.
00:17:42.000 Excuse me.
00:17:42.000 Because we were at this old venue and this place, the only way you could get to the 10th floor where the auditorium is, is you had to take an elevator.
00:17:53.000 And out of the bank of four elevators, two of them were broken.
00:17:56.000 And don't forget, the building had thousands of people in it for other massive events.
00:18:02.000 Two massive events.
00:18:03.000 The Stern Show party, like Stern had a birthday bash.
00:18:06.000 Yeah, which was humongous.
00:18:07.000 Yeah, he was on one floor.
00:18:09.000 And there was, what was that other?
00:18:10.000 The Seahawks Super Bowl party was on.
00:18:12.000 Exactly.
00:18:13.000 Yeah, there's a Seahawks party there.
00:18:14.000 Thousands of people.
00:18:16.000 And then our show was sold out for months.
00:18:19.000 So it was like, it was madness.
00:18:21.000 And it was all these people having to go from floor to floor on elevators.
00:18:24.000 Yeah.
00:18:25.000 It's so weird, too, to do a room that big that is not a ground floor room.
00:18:31.000 10th floor. 0.99
00:18:33.000 It's old as shit. 1.00
00:18:35.000 The place is old as shit. 1.00
00:18:36.000 It's really fucking cool. 1.00
00:18:38.000 The building is badass. 0.97
00:18:39.000 There's a lot of those old buildings in New York City that you feel different when you're in them.
00:18:46.000 When was this building made?
00:18:48.000 1909?
00:18:49.000 Whoa.
00:18:49.000 And you're walking around it.
00:18:51.000 First of all, they're solid as fuck. 0.99
00:18:53.000 Think about a building that's been there for a hundred fucking years and it's still rock solid. 1.00
00:18:58.000 I mean, they made some goddamn buildings back then. 0.99
00:19:00.000 But on top of that, it's just got all this history in it. 0.99
00:19:05.000 All these people have been through it and...
00:19:08.000 It had some strange design, I guess a flaw, or I don't know what you would say, but just a byproduct of the design.
00:19:16.000 There was a wind whistling through the entire hotel.
00:19:20.000 So bizarre.
00:19:21.000 The entire, it was not a hotel, the entire convention center, whatever you call it, Manhattan Center.
00:19:25.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:19:26.000 The entire place, like, a 30-mile-an-hour wind.
00:19:29.000 Like, you would open doors and wind would come in, but it was warm!
00:19:33.000 But you couldn't find the source.
00:19:34.000 You couldn't be like, oh, this window's open.
00:19:36.000 That's where the wind's from.
00:19:37.000 It was some sort of an effect of all these doors being open and the wind coming in from the front door.
00:19:42.000 So the wind would come in from the front door with such momentum that it would go down these hallways and literally make it upstairs so you'd be on the 10th floor and the wind would come whistling through.
00:19:52.000 I mean, strong wind!
00:19:54.000 And the weird thing is that to get to the room to bike to backstage, you go up to the 10th floor and you go down eight hallways with turns.
00:20:04.000 So you feel like you're in this weird labyrinth.
00:20:06.000 There's not like you go, well, this door's open, it's right here, that's where wind's coming from.
00:20:10.000 You weave all the way into this area and And then the wind is hitting you from every angle.
00:20:15.000 Yeah, and it's warm.
00:20:17.000 It's not even cold wind because it's freezing outside, but by the time the wind gets to you, it's been heated up by the building.
00:20:24.000 Yeah.
00:20:24.000 So we got, it's like some sort of an internal baby tornado thing going on.
00:20:29.000 It was, yeah.
00:20:29.000 You know how with tornadoes, I think part of what causes tornadoes and some hurricanes is the two different...
00:20:39.000 Yeah, I knew that about hurricanes.
00:20:46.000 Dude, even when we went into the green room...
00:20:57.000 We felt that wind.
00:20:59.000 Yeah.
00:21:00.000 And I was like, oh, because there's a curtain there.
00:21:02.000 You move the curtain and there's no window.
00:21:03.000 I thought a window was open.
00:21:05.000 I just didn't know.
00:21:06.000 It was confusing where it was coming from.
00:21:09.000 How is it hitting us right now?
00:21:10.000 Yeah, it's really weird.
00:21:12.000 And when you think about wind in buildings, I think about things like, remember that movie Backdraft?
00:21:18.000 Oh yeah.
00:21:19.000 I was scared to open doors.
00:21:22.000 That when you are in a fire, when you open windows and you open doors, it affects the amount of oxygen coming to the fire and sometimes it's almost like an explosion that comes at you.
00:21:34.000 Wind and air and heat and temperature, we deal with them so often on a stable basis.
00:21:41.000 Air-conditioned rooms, especially in California, pretty stagnant climates, pretty static climate.
00:21:47.000 But when things change radically and have these weird effects, you realize how bizarre the whole idea really is in the first place. 0.98
00:21:55.000 Fucking air, invisible air around us all the time, whipping around and moving, and you can feel it when it blows on you, but you don't see shit. 0.99
00:22:01.000 You don't see shit. 1.00
00:22:02.000 It's also like one of the basic kind of building blocks of the world, of life. 0.99
00:22:08.000 Yeah.
00:22:08.000 And I think most people know very little, like me, about it.
00:22:10.000 Like you kind of go like, how do I not know more about how that works?
00:22:14.000 Yeah.
00:22:14.000 And I don't.
00:22:15.000 I'm just like, yeah, I know oxygen feeds fire.
00:22:17.000 And that's kind of my little extent of my knowledge about it. 0.98
00:22:20.000 It would be weird if Manhattan put a big fucking wall around it. 0.99
00:22:24.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:22:25.000 That would be the way to avoid the window.
00:22:28.000 That would certainly, yeah.
00:22:29.000 Just put a huge wall.
00:22:31.000 But the top of the buildings would still be wiggling.
00:22:34.000 Probably, yeah.
00:22:36.000 Well, they engineered that in them.
00:22:38.000 The fact that they can sway, right?
00:22:40.000 Yeah.
00:22:40.000 I mean, all new buildings will definitely, like buildings in the last 20 years, all will have sway, especially if they're built, well, I'm sure in New York, but like San Francisco, LA, you know, they expect them to have tolerance for earthquakes.
00:22:56.000 I was in Ray Kurzweil's house in San Francisco.
00:22:59.000 He's that Google guy.
00:23:00.000 He works for Google now.
00:23:02.000 The guy who works with artificial technology, he's this proponent of the idea of the transcendental man, that one day we're going to be able to transcend our biological existence and either become a part of a computer or download consciousness into computers.
00:23:20.000 Fascinating, fascinating dude. 0.97
00:23:21.000 But he lives on the top of this fucking building. 0.99
00:23:24.000 This is San Francisco, man. 1.00
00:23:25.000 This is a crazy place to live. 1.00
00:23:27.000 This fucking thing moves, man. 1.00
00:23:30.000 Don't you feel weird about those Malibu homes on sticks? 1.00
00:23:34.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00
00:23:35.000 Those people are crazy. 1.00
00:23:37.000 They're crazy as shit. 1.00
00:23:38.000 Remember when we were in New York this weekend, when we were flying in, we flew over areas that Hurricane Sandy hit in New Jersey. 0.99
00:23:44.000 And you see where buildings used to be. 0.99
00:23:47.000 You see these areas where shit is just wiped out. 0.99
00:23:50.000 Yeah, scary. 1.00
00:23:51.000 It's fucking real scary, man. 0.97
00:23:53.000 It doesn't happen that often. 0.98
00:23:55.000 No, but when it does. 1.00
00:23:56.000 But when it does happen, you're fucked. 1.00
00:23:58.000 And it can happen. 0.99
00:23:59.000 We just, we're basing everything on such a short timeline.
00:24:02.000 You know, our ideas of what weather is possible is only based on the last couple of hundred years.
00:24:08.000 It's true.
00:24:08.000 It's based on a couple of years, and then you also only live so long.
00:24:12.000 Like, when you're talking about, like, history, time and history, you know, a human lifespan is not even, like, you don't even measure how often something happens by...
00:24:22.000 So we only refer to things happening through, like...
00:24:26.000 Oh, it hasn't happened since, like, my grandfather was around.
00:24:28.000 That's not that long ago. 0.97
00:24:29.000 That ain't shit. 0.98
00:24:30.000 You know? 0.99
00:24:30.000 Yeah, that happened fucking yesterday in terms of history, so it happens pretty often, actually. 0.99
00:24:34.000 To put it in perspective, think about the lifetime of, like, say, a housefly. 0.98
00:24:38.000 What do they live?
00:24:38.000 They live, like, seven days, ten days or something like that.
00:24:41.000 Okay, let's find out.
00:24:42.000 How long does a housefly live?
00:24:44.000 I think it's a couple of days.
00:24:46.000 Yeah, think about how many horrific things have happened in modern recorded history, weather-wise.
00:24:52.000 If you lay that out over stuff we don't know about, really bad natural disasters happen all the time.
00:24:59.000 Seven days.
00:25:00.000 That's how long a fly lives?
00:25:02.000 Yeah, most of them.
00:25:02.000 Seven days, sometimes as long as two months.
00:25:05.000 Whoa, that's a big difference.
00:25:06.000 I'm an old-school pimp, man. 0.99
00:25:07.000 I've been around here for a minute shitting in this house. 0.97
00:25:10.000 Just think about how little change happens over the course of seven days in the world. 0.98
00:25:13.000 I mean, sometimes yes, sometimes no, but the idea of basing the weather on what happens in seven-day increments is fucking completely ridiculous, because we know about seasons. 0.99
00:25:21.000 Well, seasons don't exist to a goddamn fly. 0.99
00:25:24.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:25:24.000 During Grandfather's Day, the world was frozen. 0.99
00:25:28.000 Things were dark.
00:25:29.000 Life was terrifying. 0.99
00:25:31.000 There was no shit anywhere to land in. 0.99
00:25:34.000 My pappy was around last month. 1.00
00:25:36.000 When the shit would drop, it would freeze instantly. 0.99
00:25:38.000 We couldn't lay eggs. 0.99
00:25:39.000 You know, I mean, that's what their version of the world would be.
00:25:42.000 Yeah, sure.
00:25:43.000 Yeah.
00:25:43.000 But then you talk like 10 generations later.
00:25:46.000 It's sort of like a Game of Thrones type of thing where they're talking about the winter being months or years instead of months.
00:25:52.000 I still haven't seen that show.
00:25:53.000 No.
00:25:54.000 How dare you! 0.99
00:25:55.000 I know.
00:25:56.000 One of the things about winter is winter is varying lengths in this crazy world that they live in.
00:26:00.000 Sometimes winter lasts for years.
00:26:02.000 For years?
00:26:03.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:26:03.000 Fuck that. 1.00
00:26:04.000 The wind is coming. 1.00
00:26:05.000 Man, they're all terrified of winter.
00:26:06.000 They're all terrified of winter. 0.99
00:26:08.000 It gives you a good perspective because we know that winter's going to be, even if it's in Iowa, even if it's somewhere like Michigan, it's fucking cold as shit, it's four months, you know, tough it up, suck it up, you'll be all right. 0.98
00:26:20.000 But if winter was 40 years... 0.98
00:26:22.000 You've got to move.
00:26:24.000 I don't want to hear your argument for why you stayed.
00:26:26.000 Yeah, but you know what I'm saying?
00:26:27.000 You know, the thinking behind that?
00:26:29.000 It's like, that really is what it's like, the difference between living in Michigan and living in California.
00:26:34.000 Yeah.
00:26:35.000 I mean, there's some places where people live that have pretty extensive and sometimes brutal winters.
00:26:41.000 Nothing compared to 40 years, but I'm saying you go further north into Canada, there's definitely cities that have...
00:26:48.000 You could argue that it's pretty seriously winter by October.
00:26:52.000 Yeah.
00:26:52.000 And then it just gets varying degrees of worse.
00:26:56.000 They're like, this isn't winter yet.
00:26:58.000 I know it's five out, but wait until next month.
00:27:00.000 And you're like, okay.
00:27:01.000 And then you go into November, December.
00:27:04.000 Those are freezing.
00:27:05.000 January, February the worst.
00:27:06.000 And it's still cold in that place in March and sometimes into April.
00:27:10.000 Snows in May.
00:27:11.000 Yeah.
00:27:11.000 Yeah, so you're talking about...
00:27:12.000 Like Edmonton?
00:27:12.000 Go to Edmonton.
00:27:13.000 Yeah, fuck that. 1.00
00:27:14.000 You can catch a crazy snowstorm in May. 1.00
00:27:16.000 Cold as fuck. 1.00
00:27:16.000 Shit goes wrong. 1.00
00:27:17.000 It's cold as fuck. 1.00
00:27:18.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:27:18.000 I ran into a couple in Phoenix that came to the shows, the shows down there, and they live in Edmonton. 0.99
00:27:24.000 And they said they take the summer off, or the winter off.
00:27:27.000 The winter off, yeah.
00:27:27.000 They just go to Arizona.
00:27:28.000 It's like, fuck this. 1.00
00:27:29.000 Fuck this, yeah. 1.00
00:27:30.000 Yeah, especially Phoenix. 1.00
00:27:32.000 Phoenix is great.
00:27:33.000 In the summertime, it's crazy.
00:27:35.000 But in the wintertime, it's beautiful. 0.99
00:27:37.000 That 130 degrees in the summertime is fucking retarded, though. 1.00
00:27:40.000 It's horrible. 1.00
00:27:41.000 That and, like, in Vegas, you're like, what the fuck are we doing? 0.99
00:27:44.000 Yeah, it gets, like, 110 all the time. 0.99
00:27:47.000 Where you're just out there cooking, like a hair dryer in your face.
00:27:50.000 And if you happen to, like, walk on a pavement, oh my god, or get into a car, and you're looking at the thing, you turn the car on, it says, like, 122 on your dashboard, and you're like...
00:27:59.000 It's happening.
00:28:00.000 That's the sun.
00:28:01.000 Yeah.
00:28:02.000 Yeah.
00:28:02.000 It's horrible.
00:28:03.000 But these people, they lived most of their life in Edmonton, and they were like, fuck this. 1.00
00:28:07.000 When you think about it, everybody would if they could. 0.99
00:28:09.000 Yeah.
00:28:09.000 I mean, there's no such thing as like, I really, you know, I understand people that like the seasons and all that and, you know, the change, but nobody wants to be around 20 below for extensive periods of time usually.
00:28:21.000 That's, you know, reasonable.
00:28:22.000 I think you kind of want to get out of that naturally after a while.
00:28:25.000 Did you ever see that show, Life Below Zero?
00:28:28.000 Uh-uh.
00:28:29.000 It's one of those Alaska shows where people are living in these strange climates, and there's this woman who operates this refueling station, and it's, I think, a hundred and something miles north of the Arctic Circle.
00:28:46.000 So this crazy lady... 1.00
00:28:47.000 It hurts inside to think of that. 1.00
00:28:49.000 This is a badass bitch. 1.00
00:28:50.000 She's by herself up there. 1.00
00:28:51.000 And she was attacked by a bear once.
00:28:53.000 I don't know how she survived, but it broke her leg and I think maybe her hip too and bit into her head.
00:28:58.000 Is that her?
00:28:59.000 Yeah, that's her. 0.60
00:29:00.000 Does she have a beard? 0.99
00:29:00.000 She's got a little something going on there. 0.99
00:29:02.000 You would too if you were an old lady.
00:29:04.000 Okay.
00:29:04.000 The more the best.
00:29:05.000 Yeah, normally she doesn't look like that. 1.00
00:29:07.000 She doesn't have the frosting face.
00:29:09.000 Don't be cruel to my woman.
00:29:10.000 I just saw a beard and I was like, she has my beard.
00:29:13.000 She's a tough broad, man.
00:29:15.000 And I've been trying to figure this lady out. 0.76
00:29:17.000 I watch this show all the time and I'm trying to figure this lady out. 1.00
00:29:20.000 I think...
00:29:21.000 This is what it is.
00:29:22.000 I think she's a tough lady that enjoys challenges. 1.00
00:29:25.000 And so, like, her life is better for her when it's just this constant struggle against nature and the elements.
00:29:32.000 She enjoys it.
00:29:33.000 She seems to, like, thrive off of it.
00:29:35.000 I think that's a, you know, there's individuals you put, you set up circumstances for, it's better for them.
00:29:42.000 Like...
00:29:43.000 In a big picture, some people work better with structure, and some people work better with no structure.
00:29:48.000 And I think you keep progressing along that line.
00:29:51.000 Some people can thrive in harsher situations.
00:29:56.000 This is ideal for some people, but I think it's not for a lot.
00:30:00.000 There's a minimum amount of people that actually...
00:30:03.000 Want to be and will thrive in an environment like that.
00:30:07.000 Well, everyone is always looking for Phoenix to go to in the middle of the winter.
00:30:12.000 Everyone is looking for comfort.
00:30:13.000 Right.
00:30:14.000 And what these people are doing is going the exact opposite way.
00:30:17.000 And they're saying, we're just looking to make it exciting and struggle every day, but we choose to do it this way.
00:30:25.000 Like, these are all what you call subsistence hunting people.
00:30:28.000 Meaning they live completely off the land.
00:30:31.000 They get their vegetables, they grow them, they get their fish. 0.96
00:30:35.000 That woman right there, that Inuit woman, her fucking whole family has had massive loss because of people falling through the ice and drowning. 0.98
00:30:43.000 She lost her mother, I think, or her brother. 1.00
00:30:47.000 She lost several close family members, fell through the ice and fucking froze to death. 1.00
00:30:53.000 You know, I mean, this is some harsh shit. 1.00
00:30:56.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:30:57.000 This world is crazy.
00:30:58.000 And they have to do it.
00:30:59.000 That's the only way you're going to get fish.
00:31:00.000 So they're out there on this river.
00:31:01.000 This flowing river.
00:31:03.000 The top of it freezes and you're standing on it.
00:31:05.000 And if you fall through, that's a wrap, son.
00:31:08.000 That's it.
00:31:08.000 It's over.
00:31:08.000 But there's no other way.
00:31:09.000 There's no other way to get the fish out of there.
00:31:11.000 But she also has... 0.55
00:31:12.000 There's purpose...
00:31:13.000 For her being up there, in other words, it's a refueling, like she's there for a service or no?
00:31:18.000 She's just there.
00:31:19.000 No, that woman, that's how they live. 1.00
00:31:21.000 That's just how she lives.
00:31:22.000 That's how they make their money.
00:31:23.000 They don't have jobs.
00:31:25.000 They just get fish out of the river.
00:31:28.000 I mean, there's several groups of people.
00:31:30.000 But you were looking at that Inuit woman and her husband.
00:31:33.000 Yeah, different groups, yeah.
00:31:35.000 Yeah, there's four or five different groups that they follow.
00:31:36.000 Do they sell fish, or is it just fish to eat?
00:31:38.000 They sell some things.
00:31:39.000 They do a lot of trading, though.
00:31:41.000 They'll trade, like, give you a half of a caribou.
00:31:43.000 I need a...
00:31:44.000 Some fan belts for my car to repair my snowmobile or what have you.
00:31:48.000 They travel by snowmobile everywhere.
00:31:50.000 Everywhere.
00:31:51.000 So when they're outside, they're outside, man.
00:31:52.000 There's no, like, heated trucks where they're driving around in.
00:31:56.000 No, sir.
00:31:56.000 No.
00:31:57.000 It's a crazy hard life.
00:31:59.000 Yeah.
00:32:00.000 But they like it.
00:32:01.000 They do like it.
00:32:02.000 Well, this one lady is really fascinating because she's... 1.00
00:32:06.000 I mean, it's hard to tell what someone's really like when you've got a camera in their face.
00:32:10.000 Yeah.
00:32:10.000 It's hard to tell who they are, if they're relaxed and you're just talking to them.
00:32:13.000 Like...
00:32:14.000 Sometimes it takes months to get to know someone to find what goes on behind the scenes inside of their head.
00:32:19.000 So you don't really know that lady that well from watching her on that show. 0.99
00:32:23.000 But what you can tell is there's something that she's enjoying about being up there in this really scary environment where she's already been attacked by a fucking bear. 0.99
00:32:33.000 Jesus. 0.99
00:32:34.000 And those are grizzly bears.
00:32:36.000 These are the big brown bears.
00:32:38.000 They're not like black bears that you can scare away. 1.00
00:32:41.000 They're there to fuck you up. 1.00
00:32:43.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:32:44.000 She hunts caribou and fucking small birds and whatever she could find up there. 1.00
00:32:49.000 That's where she gets her meat. 1.00
00:32:50.000 You think the bear was like, I see your beard, I'll give you a break.
00:32:53.000 We both have beards?
00:32:58.000 No, I think the bear, she probably shot him or something.
00:33:01.000 I don't know what the full story is.
00:33:03.000 There's not really much topping badass stories as much as I got attacked by a bear and I killed that bear.
00:33:11.000 Yeah.
00:33:11.000 Like, what's a better story than that?
00:33:12.000 Maybe a shark?
00:33:14.000 Yeah, but sharks...
00:33:15.000 The idea of you fighting off a shark...
00:33:18.000 It's crazy.
00:33:18.000 You don't have much chance.
00:33:19.000 Yeah.
00:33:20.000 But if you did, if you're like, you know, that's why I got this half arm right here. 1.00
00:33:23.000 It's like if a shark kicks your ass on a shore. 0.99
00:33:26.000 On a shore, yeah. 1.00
00:33:26.000 Say if you have a giant knife in your hand, and the shark kicks your ass on a shore. 1.00
00:33:31.000 Like, a shark deserves it. 1.00
00:33:33.000 Yes. 1.00
00:33:34.000 Because you were just fucking... 1.00
00:33:35.000 Well, how's a shark going to get you on the ground? 1.00
00:33:37.000 You can take a great white shark, put it on the beach. 1.00
00:33:39.000 I will fuck that thing up. 1.00
00:33:40.000 There's no chance. 1.00
00:33:41.000 I will get behind him and I'll stab him right in his stupid brain. 1.00
00:33:44.000 I'll find it, a little pea brain. 1.00
00:33:46.000 I'll chop away at the top of his head. 0.99
00:33:47.000 Do a little dance afterwards. 1.00
00:33:48.000 And I'm sure he'll open his jaws and shit. 1.00
00:33:50.000 Whatever, dude. 1.00
00:33:50.000 You're not in the ocean. 1.00
00:33:51.000 You're fucked. 1.00
00:33:52.000 This is my world, bitch. 1.00
00:33:53.000 My house. 1.00
00:33:53.000 Yeah, you're not going to bite me. 1.00
00:33:54.000 I'm going to stick fucking a knife in your brain and then I'm going to eat you. 1.00
00:33:57.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:33:58.000 But if you're in the water, you have about the same amount of chance, except the only thing that saves you is that sharks are stupid. 0.62
00:34:04.000 So if there's some way that you could, like, jab it in the nose with, like, a harpoon, if you had, like, one of those fish harpoons, like dudes who go, what do they call it, spearfishing? 0.97
00:34:14.000 Yeah.
00:34:14.000 Like, shoot the spears?
00:34:15.000 Sure. 0.99
00:34:15.000 Yeah, the spear guns. 0.99
00:34:16.000 If you could, like, stab it in the nose with that, you might be able to get it the fuck away from you because you know that they're kind of sensitive in their nose. 0.99
00:34:22.000 But you might not. 0.99
00:34:23.000 Yeah.
00:34:23.000 Most likely you will probably not.
00:34:25.000 Most likely you'll miss, and it'll bite your arm off, and you'll bleed out, you know?
00:34:29.000 Yeah.
00:34:30.000 Yeah.
00:34:30.000 They swim pretty fucking fast, too.
00:34:32.000 Unless you can swim, like, 40 miles an hour, which I don't think... 0.97
00:34:35.000 Some homeless guy in California yesterday got attacked by a mountain lion.
00:34:38.000 Yeah, that's crazy. 1.00
00:34:39.000 Yeah, a guy got fucked up. 0.99
00:34:41.000 Homeless guy, was he hiking? 1.00
00:34:43.000 Yeah, he was outside.
00:34:44.000 He was, like, camping.
00:34:45.000 He got attacked by a mountain lion.
00:34:47.000 Yeah, not good.
00:34:49.000 They're, you know...
00:34:51.000 Unusual homeless activity.
00:34:52.000 They're gonna have more and more of that.
00:34:54.000 They don't really camp when they're homeless.
00:34:56.000 It's more just homeless.
00:34:57.000 They're always camping.
00:34:58.000 They're the best campers.
00:35:00.000 Homeless people are constantly camping. 1.00
00:35:02.000 Well, it depends on what kind of homeless, obviously. 0.59
00:35:03.000 This guy, it seems like he might have been a crazy person.
00:35:07.000 Had a long week of being homeless in the city.
00:35:09.000 I'm going to go up to the hills for a little bit.
00:35:11.000 Yeah, man.
00:35:12.000 Little me time.
00:35:14.000 That ain't fun, man. 0.97
00:35:15.000 No, that sucks. 0.91
00:35:16.000 It's going to happen more. 0.95
00:35:17.000 You know, this is something we talked about on the Opie and Anthony show when we were in New York.
00:35:21.000 Yeah.
00:35:21.000 We talked about mountain lion attacks and Yeah, man.
00:35:25.000 And here there's a...
00:35:27.000 Sexy group of people right there.
00:35:29.000 Yeah, that was...
00:35:29.000 Who's that guy in the back?
00:35:30.000 Oh, that's me.
00:35:31.000 That's Tommy Buns!
00:35:33.000 Ricky Gervais, Jim Norton, and Opie and Anthony and us.
00:35:37.000 A lot of fun.
00:35:37.000 A lot of fun room, man.
00:35:38.000 Fuck yeah, it was a lot of fun. 0.99
00:35:39.000 It was a good time. 1.00
00:35:40.000 It was so cool meeting...
00:35:41.000 I'm a big fan of Ricky Gervais.
00:35:42.000 Yeah, he's a nice guy, man.
00:35:43.000 Super nice guy.
00:35:44.000 Very nice guy.
00:35:45.000 Real easy to talk to.
00:35:46.000 Very interesting wolf fact that you learned also about the jaw, the biting.
00:35:51.000 Yeah, they have a bite that's like five times more powerful than a pit bull.
00:35:54.000 I couldn't believe that either, man. 0.57
00:35:56.000 Crazy.
00:35:56.000 I definitely thought he was making that up.
00:35:58.000 Exaggerating.
00:35:58.000 Yeah, exaggerating it.
00:35:59.000 Well, you know, sometimes it's like someone tells you something that's just not correct.
00:36:04.000 Right.
00:36:04.000 And you repeat it.
00:36:05.000 I've done that before.
00:36:06.000 Of course.
00:36:07.000 And sometimes, you know, you're not even intending to, like, mislead.
00:36:11.000 You heard something, or you think you remember the number, and you're like, I think it's this number, and you just throw it out.
00:36:16.000 I've done that.
00:36:16.000 I thought it was going to be bigger, obviously.
00:36:19.000 I think a wolf bites harder.
00:36:20.000 But I didn't think it was going to be five times.
00:36:22.000 Five times. 1.00
00:36:23.000 Fucking bananas. 1.00
00:36:25.000 Elk bones. 1.00
00:36:26.000 They can snap the leg bone of an elk.
00:36:29.000 That's insane. 0.91
00:36:30.000 What a crazy animal. 1.00
00:36:33.000 You know, the idea that people think that's a dog, that's so silly. 0.94
00:36:36.000 And now when you think about, like, just that, whatever you already knew about them, you think about that added stat, and you think about the fact that they hunt in packs.
00:36:45.000 Think about three or four of those mouths, what that's possible doing in how quick amount of time.
00:36:51.000 You know, I mean, like, they ambush you. 1.00
00:36:53.000 You know, they come this way, that way, and pretty soon you're looking around like, oh, shit. 0.99
00:36:58.000 And that's what... 1.00
00:36:58.000 It happens to animals. 1.00
00:36:59.000 They get trapped.
00:37:01.000 It's so funny.
00:37:02.000 Steve Rinella, my friend, the hunter guy from the show Meat Eater, was talking about there was this one thing where people were talking about running and trying to keep up with wolves.
00:37:15.000 Could a man try to keep up with the wolf?
00:37:17.000 And one of the ways that they tested it is they took these wolf dogs and they let these wolf dogs go and then they had these people run through the mountains and see if they can keep up with the wolf dogs.
00:37:26.000 You know, see, like, wolves can run faster, but sometimes people can run longer and steadier pace.
00:37:33.000 Well, the wolf's dogs, wolf dogs are not wolves.
00:37:37.000 And he was like, the way he described it is like, that's like taking an alien.
00:37:41.000 And an alien comes down and finds the fattest, most out of shape guy with the worst diet and says, run as fast as you can.
00:37:48.000 We want to see how fast humans can run.
00:37:50.000 Oh, really?
00:37:51.000 That's the equivalent of that?
00:37:54.000 Isn't that a great analogy?
00:37:55.000 Because a wolf is a wolf.
00:37:57.000 They're not dogs.
00:37:58.000 They're not getting fed.
00:37:59.000 They're out there running down elk and biting their legs in half.
00:38:02.000 Right.
00:38:03.000 And this is not a wolf dog. 1.00
00:38:06.000 They're fucking wolves. 1.00
00:38:08.000 Did you watch this? 1.00
00:38:10.000 Past season of Eastbound and Down, when he gets his kid a wolf.
00:38:14.000 Did you see that or no?
00:38:15.000 No. 0.99
00:38:16.000 It's so ridiculous. 0.96
00:38:17.000 Did you see that, Brian? 0.98
00:38:19.000 Yeah.
00:38:20.000 What's his name?
00:38:22.000 Kenny Powers.
00:38:23.000 Gets his kids a pet wolf.
00:38:26.000 And he just keeps it in the garage.
00:38:28.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:38:29.000 And it's on a big chain, like a chain fence.
00:38:33.000 He's keeping it padlocked.
00:38:35.000 And it's just like, growling at the kids.
00:38:38.000 And he's like, go feed it.
00:38:39.000 And they're like, Have to throw meat at the wolf.
00:38:42.000 Such a great show.
00:38:44.000 That's what he got. 0.99
00:38:47.000 This is so ridiculous. 0.95
00:39:08.000 Spirit Guide. 0.62
00:39:10.000 Spirit Guide.
00:39:13.000 Because of this opportunity, our family's going to be taken care of forever.
00:39:16.000 Who knows?
00:39:17.000 Next stop is Space Camp.
00:39:19.000 That show is so funny.
00:39:25.000 It's so good.
00:39:26.000 It's such a good show. 0.98
00:39:27.000 That dude is goddamn hilarious. 0.97
00:39:29.000 He's hysterical, man. 0.97
00:39:30.000 Did you see him in This is the End?
00:39:31.000 Yes. 0.99
00:39:32.000 Holy shit, is he good. 1.00
00:39:34.000 I mean, that movie, I ran into... 1.00
00:39:39.000 What the fuck's his name? 0.95
00:39:40.000 Craig Robinson, the other night, at the Improv, who's in it, where I was telling him, I go, dude, that movie is so goddamn funny, and you were so funny in it, you know? 0.99
00:39:47.000 And we were talking about the Kenny Power scene, like, when he comes in.
00:39:51.000 I mean, like, the movie's outstanding, and then he comes in, and just the whole thing goes to this whole new level of craziness.
00:39:57.000 He's hilarious, man.
00:39:58.000 This guy's hilarious.
00:39:59.000 I love that character.
00:40:00.000 Kenny Powers? 1.00
00:40:01.000 That really cocky, fucking complete idiot character, but just subtle enough of an idiot that like that kind of shit. 1.00
00:40:08.000 You know, I'm not going to be around a lot, so it's important that he has a strong role model. 1.00
00:40:12.000 Doesn't grow up to be a pansy. 0.99
00:40:14.000 He's such a buffoon. 1.00
00:40:16.000 So fucking funny. 1.00
00:40:18.000 Those kind of characters are really funny, man. 0.99
00:40:21.000 You know the best part about that character?
00:40:22.000 I read interviews with him and the other guys, Jody Hill, I think, and Ben, I can't remember his name, but they all are behind this, and they're saying how a lot of people appreciate the character and think it's funny for what it is, and then some people are big fans on another level where they're like,
00:40:39.000 yeah, he's right.
00:40:40.000 Like, Kane Powers is...
00:40:41.000 That's how I think, too. 0.99
00:40:43.000 Like, they're that kind of fan where they're like, fuck yeah, man. 0.99
00:40:47.000 That's exactly how I am. 1.00
00:40:48.000 We're fucking Americans, man. 1.00
00:40:50.000 That's who we are. 1.00
00:40:51.000 Tired of this bullshit. 1.00
00:40:52.000 Getting a wolf from my kid, too. 1.00
00:40:54.000 It's fucking badass. 1.00
00:40:56.000 You know your shit, Kenny. 1.00
00:40:57.000 Yeah, it's annoying if that dude's your fucking neighbor, but on TV they're awesome. 1.00
00:41:01.000 Awesome. 0.99
00:41:02.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:41:02.000 Fucking phenomenal. 0.99
00:41:03.000 But it's almost better than a reality show. 0.97
00:41:06.000 Because if a reality show, like if you had a guy like Kenny Powers and you gave him a reality show, he would become famous and he would get annoying.
00:41:12.000 Like, essentially that's what you got with the Duck Dynasty people. 1.00
00:41:16.000 You've got a reality show where, oh, whoops, you made someone famous who's a fucking idiot and a homophobe. 1.00
00:41:22.000 And they go, I don't get it. 1.00
00:41:24.000 Why would a man choose a man? 0.97
00:41:26.000 They're not choosing dummy, you know?
00:41:28.000 But now this guy's on TV, he's famous. 1.00
00:41:30.000 And then you look on Facebook, and you've got all these knuckleheads with their fucking... 0.99
00:41:34.000 What about freedom of speech? 0.99
00:41:36.000 You know, I support Duck Dynasty and the Fourth Amendment, whatever amendment it is, First Amendment. 0.99
00:41:41.000 Bitch, you didn't read the Constitution. 1.00
00:41:43.000 Shut your hole. 1.00
00:41:44.000 And that show, I'm amazed. 0.98
00:41:47.000 I mean, I get that, like... 1.00
00:41:47.000 Stupid as fuck. 1.00
00:41:49.000 The fact that, like, that they're, you know, you're following this family and you feel like this is how they really are... 1.00
00:41:54.000 It's all set-ups.
00:41:55.000 Like, the show is, like, way overproduced.
00:41:59.000 So obvious.
00:41:59.000 Of course.
00:42:00.000 All those guys were at AVN, even.
00:42:01.000 That was creepy.
00:42:02.000 They were just hanging out at AVN. Like, they have...
00:42:04.000 They have set-up.
00:42:05.000 Duck Dynasty guys.
00:42:06.000 With their duck beards?
00:42:08.000 Yeah.
00:42:08.000 It was really weird.
00:42:10.000 They were at AVN, which is the Porn Awards.
00:42:12.000 Porn Awards.
00:42:12.000 They were there, like, the weekend.
00:42:14.000 Why were they there?
00:42:15.000 Because that's the cool thing they do.
00:42:17.000 So they were there for the whole weekend doing press?
00:42:21.000 No, they were just hanging out.
00:42:22.000 And they were at porn events.
00:42:24.000 So they're normal. 1.00
00:42:26.000 They like watching people fuck. 1.00
00:42:27.000 Good for them. 1.00
00:42:28.000 I applaud that, but just not men's anuses.
00:42:31.000 It is essentially like a Kenny Powers in real life.
00:42:34.000 That's the problem with them in real life, is my point.
00:42:36.000 So it's like having a guy like this in a TV show, Eastbound and Down, is actually even better, because it's so good, it's better than a reality show. 0.99
00:42:45.000 Because a reality show, you'd be making that asshole famous, and there'd be people on Facebook, I fucking agree with him, man! 0.99
00:42:51.000 I support him! 1.00
00:42:54.000 Fucking support the shit out of him and his right as an American. 1.00
00:42:58.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:42:58.000 You know, these ideas that... 0.99
00:43:01.000 What is this?
00:43:02.000 This is Will Ferrell and Kenny Powers.
00:43:04.000 Will Ferrell owns a car dealership. 1.00
00:43:07.000 It's the best fucking shit ever. 1.00
00:43:09.000 Is this from Eastbound and Down? 1.00
00:43:11.000 Yeah.
00:43:11.000 I need to watch that whole season, man.
00:43:13.000 I really do.
00:43:14.000 But...
00:43:15.000 Yeah, there's a lot of those people in real life, and sometimes folks, all they need is, like, one example like that, and that little shift.
00:43:24.000 Like, you could have people on the fence who are just thinking about, like, waking up and going, you know, what do I care if someone's gay, man?
00:43:30.000 What is it in me that gets mad about these gay people? 1.00
00:43:34.000 And why do I, you know, say they're going to burn in hell? 1.00
00:43:36.000 Maybe I should just fucking relax. 0.99
00:43:37.000 And then they see that guy on TV, and they see he's been kicked off TV. You know what? 0.98
00:43:41.000 That's it! 1.00
00:43:42.000 I'm fucking headed up to here with these queers! 1.00
00:43:44.000 I'm like, There's a tipping point where a guy like that on a television show and that whole debate getting out there without any real rational response from either the media, from A&E, from anybody. 0.99
00:43:57.000 No one gets on TV and says, look, we're here to make a big statement about this.
00:44:03.000 This is what's wrong with this, and this is why we have a problem with it.
00:44:07.000 It's not about freedom of speech.
00:44:08.000 It's not about speaking your mind.
00:44:10.000 It's about what's on your mind, man.
00:44:12.000 What is on your mind? 0.98
00:44:12.000 Your mind is that they're gonna burn in hell? 0.98
00:44:14.000 Your mind is some fire and brimstone if someone is in love with another man and marries them? 1.00
00:44:20.000 You're an idiot, okay? 1.00
00:44:21.000 You're a dangerous idiot. 1.00
00:44:22.000 You're taking people that I know for a fact are born that way. 1.00
00:44:26.000 I'm no scientist, but I know a gay kid in my neighborhood.
00:44:29.000 He's five.
00:44:30.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00
00:44:31.000 He's fucking gay, okay? 1.00
00:44:33.000 There's nothing wrong with that, but he's gay. 1.00
00:44:34.000 This kid's gay. 1.00
00:44:35.000 His parents are trying to get him to play football. 0.92
00:44:37.000 He doesn't want to have nothing to do with football.
00:44:38.000 He's always dressing up in dresses.
00:44:40.000 He puts girls' clothes on. 0.99
00:44:41.000 He plays with dolls. 0.98
00:44:43.000 He's a gay kid, okay? 0.99
00:44:45.000 He likes boys.
00:44:46.000 It's the weirdest thing to see from the jump, but his parents are very supportive.
00:44:51.000 You know, I mean, they wanted him to try boy things.
00:44:53.000 He's not really into it, but there's no hate going on, so he's going to be okay.
00:44:57.000 You haven't tried baiting him out of him yet?
00:44:58.000 Yes. 0.95
00:44:58.000 No, but what happens if a kid like that is watching television, and he realizes he's gay, and maybe he's 12 or 13, and he's thinking about sex, and he's watching this, and he feels horrible about himself. 0.95
00:45:10.000 Which he probably does, because that definitely happened.
00:45:12.000 Right, over nothing.
00:45:13.000 Over something he can't control.
00:45:15.000 Over something he's born with.
00:45:16.000 That's why it's dangerous.
00:45:17.000 It's just as dangerous as being critical about people for a bunch of other things they can't control.
00:45:22.000 It's just as dangerous as being racist.
00:45:23.000 People don't understand that.
00:45:25.000 They don't see it that way.
00:45:26.000 But a person... 0.71
00:45:27.000 I don't know why anybody would want to choose to hang out with a black man over hanging out with a white man. 0.92
00:45:32.000 I mean, I just don't get it. 0.55
00:45:33.000 There's more there.
00:45:34.000 That's the same statement.
00:45:36.000 It's the same statement.
00:45:37.000 It really is.
00:45:38.000 There's no difference, man.
00:45:39.000 That's the parallel when people talk about, like, oh, you know, it's not the same thing you've been through and are, like, comparing the civil rights movement to this.
00:45:49.000 But, like, the thing that's similar is that you're just...
00:45:53.000 I think?
00:46:09.000 That's the same thing as putting down somebody and not wanting them to have the rights just because they were born with a certain sexual orientation.
00:46:16.000 That's the parallel.
00:46:17.000 Well, people don't want anyone to make the comparisons to civil rights.
00:46:21.000 They don't want anyone to be able to compare to slavery.
00:46:23.000 Yeah, because then they're like, oh, we really are wrong.
00:46:25.000 Well, no, because what I'm saying is people, like, civil rights people don't like it because they feel that it somehow or another diminishes the horrors of slavery.
00:46:34.000 Like, there's an issue that people have with, like, comparing something to racism.
00:46:38.000 And black people, in particular, have an issue with gay people comparing themselves and the plight of gay Americans to racism.
00:46:47.000 I've seen it. 1.00
00:46:48.000 I've heard people scream and yell about it, about it's not the same, and fuck you, and some people, gay is a choice. 1.00
00:46:56.000 I've seen a lot of weirdness, almost as if... 1.00
00:46:59.000 They're worried that it somehow or another diminishes what's horrible about slavery, which is ridiculous. 0.93
00:47:05.000 Slavery was horrible, still is. 0.98
00:47:07.000 Racism was horrible, still is.
00:47:09.000 But so is homophobia.
00:47:11.000 That's just as horrible.
00:47:12.000 The people that think it's not, it's just because you're not gay. 0.89
00:47:16.000 It's that simple. 0.95
00:47:17.000 If that was who you are, and people were angry about who you are, it would be just as bad as you being born Chinese and people hate Chinese people. 1.00
00:47:25.000 And you're like, what the fuck, man? 1.00
00:47:26.000 I didn't do anything. 1.00
00:47:27.000 You hate me because of the way I was born? 1.00
00:47:29.000 It's the same goddamn thing. 0.99
00:47:31.000 And the idea is, well, yeah, well, nobody ever owned gay people. 1.00
00:47:35.000 They killed them. 0.99
00:47:37.000 It's in the Bible. 1.00
00:47:38.000 It's in the Bible that you should be put to death for lying with another man. 0.94
00:47:41.000 You don't think that they've been persecuted? 0.99
00:47:44.000 There's a hundred different religions where it's illegal or against their rules to be gay.
00:47:49.000 You could start with Islam and work your way up through a bunch of other different ones.
00:47:55.000 There's countries that don't even...
00:47:57.000 Yeah, Russia! 1.00
00:47:58.000 Fucking Russia! 1.00
00:47:59.000 Russia, that's insane. 1.00
00:48:01.000 Insane! 0.99
00:48:01.000 Yeah, that Russia is... 0.99
00:48:02.000 They have discriminatory laws against gay people. 0.97
00:48:05.000 They do.
00:48:05.000 And Putin came out, because we were about to have the Winter Olympics there, and said that gay athletes have nothing to worry about, they're not going to be discriminated against when they're in Russia for the Winter Olympics, but...
00:48:21.000 Rules still apply where you're not supposed to be talking about it to anybody and giving your opinions on.
00:48:29.000 So we're not going to do anything to you because you're gay and you're here, but don't be talking about it. 1.00
00:48:34.000 Yeah, and stay away from kids. 0.99
00:48:36.000 And stay away from kids, which was the most...
00:48:38.000 Really?
00:48:39.000 Whoa.
00:48:39.000 That's the part that I didn't mention.
00:48:41.000 That's a big whoa.
00:48:43.000 That's a big whoa.
00:48:43.000 Yeah, I mean, look, they are fostering an environment of hate and fear.
00:48:49.000 We should look at that very carefully as people that understand human nature, okay?
00:48:54.000 Let's look at...
00:48:56.000 What you would want if you were trying to dominate a nation and control it in a sort of a dictatorship form.
00:49:01.000 Yeah.
00:49:02.000 Which is essentially what Putin's got going on there.
00:49:04.000 Yeah.
00:49:05.000 I mean, say he was voted in or what.
00:49:07.000 The guy's not going anywhere if he get voted out, you know?
00:49:10.000 I mean, he left his term, put in someone who worked for him, and then took over again after that guy was gone.
00:49:15.000 I mean, he's running Russia, okay?
00:49:17.000 Yeah, definitely.
00:49:17.000 The way to run, the way to be a dictator, the way to run an empire is through fear, through control and fear.
00:49:23.000 And as many enemies as you have that you have to protect the people from, the better.
00:49:27.000 And so one of the things that dictators do is they start pushing people against other people.
00:49:33.000 If you can get people to be inter-conflicted amongst the ranks of the normal civilians, you can guarantee that they're going to be busy.
00:49:40.000 They're going to have conflict.
00:49:41.000 They're not going to be able to deal with taxes or the rules or the military, choices the military's making. 1.00
00:49:47.000 They're so busy with their own shit, worried about these people going after this group and this ethnic group going after that group and, you know, the gays are going to touch their kids. 1.00
00:49:56.000 I mean, there's... 1.00
00:49:57.000 And then, you know, fostering violence against gay people is going to foster anger from gay people against straight people. 0.65
00:50:04.000 I mean, there's a blowback on both sides. 0.93
00:50:06.000 You guarantee conflict. 0.94
00:50:09.000 Yeah, it's so, it's so, it guarantees that it's so crazy, outrageous to, you know, suggest, like imply that gays will want children, you know? 1.00
00:50:19.000 It's almost like he's trolling. 0.51
00:50:21.000 Yeah, like the idea that they're not, you know, adults with natural, you know, sexual behavior just happens to be for a different...
00:50:29.000 But that they would not be able to control themselves and be attracted to. 1.00
00:50:35.000 It's so stupid. 1.00
00:50:37.000 It's so crazy and so stupid. 1.00
00:50:39.000 I think a thing, by the way, about why you say black people sometimes get more fired up about the comparison is, in my experience... 1.00
00:50:49.000 A lot of black people that come from, like, really Christian homes, they're more intolerant towards gay people a lot of times.
00:51:02.000 The ones who come from really Christian homes. 0.93
00:51:04.000 Oh, yeah.
00:51:04.000 Yeah, there's a lot of that.
00:51:05.000 Well, that's what happened with Proposition 8 in California.
00:51:09.000 I mean, that was a real embarrassment where they repealed gay people's right to marry. 0.97
00:51:14.000 That was an embarrassment. 0.98
00:51:16.000 And a disproportionate amount of black people voted for that. 0.98
00:51:19.000 Yeah.
00:51:19.000 It was a weird number.
00:51:21.000 It was like over 50%.
00:51:22.000 But I think even like outside of the Christian homes, you would find, I think in a lot of cases, more homophobia in the black community.
00:51:31.000 I think it exists more.
00:51:32.000 That's so weird.
00:51:34.000 Yeah, I do.
00:51:34.000 I think it does.
00:51:35.000 How much black work have you done?
00:51:39.000 I can dance.
00:51:40.000 I can do a lot of things.
00:51:42.000 I'm saying that black people are 13% of our population. 0.87
00:51:48.000 All I'm saying is that I think a bigger percentage of the population is homophobic. 0.97
00:51:53.000 I'm getting it from just having spoken and been exposed to a lot of black people.
00:51:59.000 What's amazing, apparently, a lot of these African American churches organized drives to vote against Proposition 8. But I was saying that the church community is bigger in black culture.
00:52:15.000 That's a bigger thing.
00:52:17.000 And I think that that... 0.97
00:52:19.000 They're pretty openly, most of the time, saying that it's bad, that gays are bad. 0.72
00:52:25.000 So I think that that kind of breeds that homophobia more in that community. 0.94
00:52:31.000 I'm not saying that all black people are homophobic or that they're all preaching that and all doing that. 1.00
00:52:36.000 I'm saying that I think that exists more in that culture, in that community.
00:52:41.000 That's interesting.
00:52:43.000 There's not just that, but Mormons also spent a lot of money.
00:52:49.000 Mormons very much.
00:52:50.000 I mean, I think a lot of people have given the credit to the Mormons for defeating that Prop 8, right?
00:52:56.000 Yeah.
00:52:56.000 Well, they put a lot of money into it, apparently.
00:52:58.000 A lot of money, yeah.
00:52:59.000 Which is, I had a joke about it in Talking Monkeys in Space.
00:53:02.000 Oh yeah, about... 1.00
00:53:04.000 That Mormons should be afraid of gay people because if you're dumb enough to be a Mormon. 1.00
00:53:08.000 Yeah, that's right. 1.00
00:53:09.000 That was really funny. 1.00
00:53:10.000 Pretty much, someone can talk you to being a Mormon, they can talk you in the suck of their dick. 1.00
00:53:15.000 It's just a matter of how much time they spend with you. 1.00
00:53:17.000 Yeah, then you break down the whole, you know, what Mormonism is.
00:53:22.000 Which is like, right, isn't it?
00:53:24.000 The guy was like, no, I got all the rules.
00:53:26.000 They gave them to me. 0.96
00:53:27.000 But, you know, what's interesting is that this also becomes another point of contention because now black people are being persecuted by gay people. 0.94
00:53:37.000 Right.
00:53:38.000 I mean, it puts this weird thing.
00:53:39.000 So there's another battle taking place.
00:53:41.000 Yeah, I mean, I don't believe in those kind of conspiracies.
00:53:44.000 Mm-hmm.
00:53:46.000 necessarily that like the whole social structure of this country is organized keep people poor so there's conflict and keep people rich so they keep voting for corporations they want to protect their wealth yeah this is and keep the the divide between the two and every now and then you know organized chaos in a way that we were sort of kind of hinting that maybe Putin or someone does but if you're gonna do it this is the way to do it yeah the way to do it is to take like what's your ordinary like liberals okay let's let's break down liberals Liberals,
00:54:14.000 like, left wing, they're almost always voting pro-minority.
00:54:19.000 They vote pro-minority and almost always pro-gay rights. 0.62
00:54:22.000 So what better to separate that mess and cause confusion amongst the ranks is to get those two factors on your enemy, these two, like, static, constant factors, and have them duking it out.
00:54:34.000 Right.
00:54:34.000 So now you have people who support gay rights and people that support the idea that gays should be married duking it out with black people, with minorities and Christian minorities who almost universally vote Democratic.
00:54:50.000 So it's like, whoa, that was a tricky thing you did there.
00:54:53.000 Oh, right.
00:54:54.000 Because by causing trouble between those groups of people, you essentially weaken the entire party.
00:54:59.000 And that's what happens. 1.00
00:55:01.000 If you connect black people and gay people, that black people keep gay people from voting, the whole left wing becomes a fucking mess. 1.00
00:55:09.000 It becomes chaos, because white guilt runs rampant through the left, through Democrats, so many, especially educated Democrats, Who are filled with white guilt. 1.00
00:55:21.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:55:22.000 And they don't want to come down on black people. 0.89
00:55:25.000 And they don't want to come down on black people even for something as heinous as Proposition 8. Yeah. 0.96
00:55:29.000 Because if Proposition 8 was being supported by a bunch of church-going white people, much more like it was being read, you know, strictly by Baptists, but white Baptists. 0.55
00:55:39.000 Yeah.
00:55:39.000 And there was all these white Baptist leaders on TV talk.
00:55:41.000 You would marginalize them as fools, as buffoons. 1.00
00:55:44.000 They would joke about them. 1.00
00:55:45.000 But people weren't doing that about black people.
00:55:47.000 Right.
00:55:48.000 It was this weird sort of like touchy subject, tough to do.
00:55:52.000 You know, you didn't see people like mocking all these black people, like whether it's on The Daily Show or whether it's on any of these left-wing websites.
00:56:01.000 We're mocking black people for the majority of them voting for this. 1.00
00:56:05.000 Right. 0.98
00:56:05.000 Yeah, you didn't see that. 0.98
00:56:07.000 No, the whole thing gets very tricky.
00:56:10.000 Yeah, it's interesting, too.
00:56:12.000 The big thing now is, for the last few years, people trying to figure out how the Republican Party can really compete again, win the White House and win certain other elections.
00:56:28.000 And one of the things that keeps being brought up is that The younger, there's certain constants among the left and the right.
00:56:37.000 Like if you go abortion, you know who's pro-life, who's pro-choice.
00:56:41.000 And with the gay thing is that The far right won't, you know, support that, right? 0.83
00:56:49.000 They're not going to support it.
00:56:50.000 But the younger generation of new voters, even ones who are conservative, have conservative values, grew up in a world where it's more welcoming to the gay community.
00:57:03.000 And they're not necessarily—like, moderate ones can be— I tell you, you're always going to try to win over, right?
00:57:10.000 Somebody who's not an extremist.
00:57:12.000 They're leaning left now, younger voters, because of some of these extreme constants.
00:57:18.000 And so it's like, if that party, the right, could...
00:57:25.000 I think it most certainly would.
00:57:27.000 Yeah, and would they then be able to compete more for these maybe younger voters, you know, the more open-minded young people who feel like that's a basic right?
00:57:36.000 It's kind of an interesting way to look at it.
00:57:38.000 Like, if you change your position on that, do you then get somebody who you want elected?
00:57:43.000 You get a lot of the no-nonsense people that just happen to vote left because of social issues.
00:57:49.000 Right.
00:57:49.000 You would get those.
00:57:50.000 And that's a pretty substantial number.
00:57:52.000 70% of black people voted in favor for Proposition 8. 70% of black people voted that gay people shouldn't be allowed to be married and that they should take that right away from them. 0.90
00:58:04.000 That's incredible. 1.00
00:58:06.000 That's fucking gross. 1.00
00:58:08.000 That's gross and terrifying. 1.00
00:58:11.000 It's funny because I'm reading an article on Huffington Post. 0.97
00:58:14.000 Stop blaming California's black voters for Proposition 8. That's what it says?
00:58:18.000 Yeah.
00:58:19.000 Okay.
00:58:19.000 Don't blame them.
00:58:20.000 Because a lot of other people voted for it as well. 0.93
00:58:22.000 But if you don't think that it's embarrassing and gross that 70% of black people voted for some silly law that takes away the right for people that are in love to get married, I think maybe it is because, I mean, obviously it's religious. 0.95
00:58:37.000 That's the big thing. 0.97
00:58:38.000 Yeah.
00:58:39.000 Yeah, that's the big thing. 0.99
00:58:40.000 Maybe it's like black dudes who just don't want to get married at all. 1.00
00:58:43.000 They're like, man, fuck this. 1.00
00:58:43.000 No one should get married. 1.00
00:58:44.000 Let's stop it with gay people. 1.00
00:58:46.000 If less of them get married, less of us have to get married, let's cut the shit. 1.00
00:58:50.000 That's the black agenda. 1.00
00:58:50.000 I'm tired of divorce, dude. 1.00
00:58:51.000 Let's end marriage, man. 0.66
00:58:52.000 I'm tired of divorce.
00:58:53.000 I don't know.
00:58:54.000 It's just how people are raised.
00:58:57.000 That's all it is.
00:58:59.000 People change later on in life.
00:59:02.000 If you're young, you think a certain way.
00:59:05.000 Some of those people will be converted to thinking differently with time.
00:59:10.000 You know, anybody...
00:59:12.000 You can have your own ideas in this life.
00:59:14.000 You can have your own thoughts and you can have your own unique point of view.
00:59:17.000 The real problem is when your ideas start fucking with other people's lives for no reason. 0.63
00:59:23.000 Your ideas are... 1.00
00:59:26.000 Based on just some shit that you believe that's 2,000 plus years old. 1.00
00:59:32.000 If you want to believe the gay thing in the Bible, man, you're really cherry picking. 1.00
00:59:37.000 Because there's a lot of other shit in there too, along with gay people. 1.00
00:59:40.000 You're not supposed to wear two different types of clothes. 1.00
00:59:43.000 You're not supposed to wear silk and cot.
00:59:45.000 That's punishable by sins upon your life.
00:59:50.000 Smash your hand with rocks.
00:59:51.000 There's some great old...
00:59:54.000 You know, sayings that they used to say.
00:59:56.000 But one of them is like, you threaten with death if you rend your clothes, if you tear your clothes. 0.98
01:00:02.000 So like people who have like holes where their knees are and shit like that, fashion, in the Bible you're supposed to die for that. 0.99
01:00:08.000 You're supposed to be put to death for that. 0.99
01:00:10.000 Man, there's some neighborhoods we could really wipe out right now. 0.98
01:00:13.000 We could go in there and clean house.
01:00:14.000 You're gone, Silver Lake.
01:00:16.000 Yeah.
01:00:17.000 Well, Silver Lake doesn't do that anymore.
01:00:19.000 Oh, they have a new fashion?
01:00:20.000 Yeah, they're cardigans now, right? 1.00
01:00:22.000 Oh, shit, maybe. 1.00
01:00:22.000 Aren't they like all hipsters? 1.00
01:00:24.000 Here's 19 things the Bible forbids other than homosexuality. 0.97
01:00:28.000 I put this on Twitter the other day because it's just... 1.00
01:00:31.000 It's so fucking silly. 0.98
01:00:32.000 Here's the exact quote in Leviticus. 0.99
01:00:35.000 Uncover not your heads, neither rend your clothes, yet ye die, and lest wrath come upon all the people.
01:00:43.000 Okay, so if you don't uncover not your heads, which means don't uncover your head, keep your head covered.
01:00:50.000 Got it. 0.84
01:00:51.000 Okay, if you don't keep your head covered, that means you're going to die and wrath will come upon all the people. 1.00
01:00:56.000 So everyone not wearing a hat, you fucked us up. 0.96
01:01:00.000 Imagine if that was the key, that all we had to do was all wear hats, and God was like, good, peace on earth. 0.84
01:01:06.000 I love hats. 0.99
01:01:07.000 I wrote that shit down a long time ago. 1.00
01:01:09.000 You motherfuckers didn't listen. 1.00
01:01:10.000 Everyone's caught up in this gay shit. 1.00
01:01:12.000 I want hats! 1.00
01:01:13.000 I want fucking everyone wearing a hat! 0.99
01:01:15.000 Wear a hat. 1.00
01:01:16.000 By God, God's orders are wear Kangals. 1.00
01:01:19.000 I got stock in that company.
01:01:20.000 It's like God's hair nut.
01:01:22.000 Like, if you work in a restaurant, you have to wear a hair nut. 1.00
01:01:25.000 God's like, you're not wearing hats, you fuck! 1.00
01:01:27.000 Make a soup over here, man. 1.00
01:01:28.000 Make no mistake, folks.
01:01:29.000 I'm not paraphrasing.
01:01:32.000 I'm directly quoting this from the English translation of the Bible.
01:01:35.000 Uncover not your heads.
01:01:36.000 Jesus!
01:01:37.000 Maybe it meant your other head.
01:01:38.000 Yeah, maybe. 1.00
01:01:40.000 Maybe it keeps your dick covered, but they didn't call that a head back then. 1.00
01:01:44.000 They called it a mushroom cap. 1.00
01:01:45.000 They thought it was a mushroom.
01:01:47.000 Yeah.
01:01:48.000 Yeah, you're not supposed to trim your beard, by the way.
01:01:50.000 Neither shall thou mar the corners of thy beard.
01:01:54.000 Oh.
01:01:55.000 How come they're not going crazy about that?
01:01:57.000 The President of the United States is clearly shaving his beard.
01:02:02.000 Death will come upon us.
01:02:04.000 It's not convenient. 1.00
01:02:06.000 So fucking stupid. 1.00
01:02:07.000 You know what's even more stupid? 1.00
01:02:08.000 Really religious people with religious tattoos. 1.00
01:02:11.000 Because that's in the Bible too, fuckface! 1.00
01:02:14.000 You're not supposed to get tattoos! 1.00
01:02:15.000 Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you.
01:02:22.000 I am the Lord.
01:02:23.000 Cuts in your flesh for the dead. 0.54
01:02:24.000 Like, instead of, like, marking a picture of your mom. 0.94
01:02:28.000 Like, Eddie Bravo's got a...
01:02:29.000 Kat Von D did a tattoo of his grandma on his chest.
01:02:32.000 It's beautiful.
01:02:33.000 And it reminds him of his grandma.
01:02:35.000 Against the Bible!
01:02:36.000 Death.
01:02:37.000 Yeah, man.
01:02:37.000 You're not supposed to...
01:02:38.000 I mean, that's essentially what it is.
01:02:39.000 You print something on you.
01:02:41.000 It's a tattoo.
01:02:41.000 So if we followed all the rules of the Bible, it would just be like a murderous rampage constantly in the world.
01:02:47.000 We would be so fucked. 1.00
01:02:49.000 Slaughtering everybody. 1.00
01:02:50.000 Everyone would be fucked. 1.00
01:02:51.000 Well, how about every Catholic would burn at the stake, okay? 1.00
01:02:55.000 You would all die in hell. 1.00
01:02:57.000 Because you're not supposed to drink wine in church. 1.00
01:03:00.000 You're not supposed to do that.
01:03:02.000 It says in the Bible, Leviticus 10.9, Do not drink wine, nor strong drink, though...
01:03:10.000 This is so weird.
01:03:12.000 Nor thy sons with thee when ye go into the tabernacle of the congregation, lest ye die. 0.97
01:03:20.000 Okay, so what that means is you drink wine in church, you die.
01:03:22.000 But everybody drinks wine in church!
01:03:24.000 Part of the Holy Sacrament.
01:03:25.000 Was there even a quote that he said, like, I don't even want you to make a church, I'd rather you...
01:03:29.000 Yes, well that was Jesus.
01:03:30.000 See, the Jesus stuff is very, it's much different. 0.95
01:03:33.000 The Jesus stuff, you gotta get your piss on? 0.95
01:03:35.000 All the...
01:03:36.000 The Jesus stuff is very different because Jesus and most of what a lot of people quote about that is all from the New Testament and the New Testament is even sketchier than the Old Testament.
01:03:46.000 The Old Testament is sketchy because it was originally written in ancient Hebrew and the oldest versions of some of these stories are actually the Dead Sea Scrolls which are written in Aramaic and they're actually on animal skins that they found in an area of Israel called Qumran and they found these clay pots and inside these clay pots They found these ancient,
01:04:06.000 ancient scrolls.
01:04:07.000 And some of them are so fucked up that they have to piece them together with, like, tweezers. 0.98
01:04:12.000 And they've spent years and years and years and years deciphering these things, man. 0.98
01:04:17.000 And, you know, you can see them online, actually.
01:04:19.000 They have photos.
01:04:20.000 Let me see.
01:04:20.000 I think there's a website, Dead Sea Scrolls, online.
01:04:24.000 But...
01:04:26.000 That's the only version of the Bible that's in Aramaic.
01:04:30.000 Yeah, Dead Sea Scrolls Online, it's actually dss.collections.img.org.
01:04:40.000 Just look up Dead Sea Scrolls Online and Google it.
01:04:42.000 Get a new address. 1.00
01:04:44.000 Yeah, that shit's ridiculous. 1.00
01:04:44.000 Well, it's some academic. 1.00
01:04:46.000 But you can read these scrolls.
01:04:48.000 Like, click on each one, Brian, and you can actually get an image of the actual scroll itself.
01:04:52.000 Wow.
01:04:54.000 And all that stuff's on animal skins.
01:04:56.000 So this is in Aramaic, which is the only version of the Bible I think that they know of that's in Aramaic. 0.84
01:05:02.000 So all this shit that we're reading here is the stuff that's from essentially the oldest stories of the Bible. 0.62
01:05:10.000 The New Testament was actually commissioned by Constantine. 0.99
01:05:14.000 The Roman Emperor Constantine.
01:05:16.000 There's big chunks missing from this.
01:05:18.000 So there could be a word that says, don't, instead of do it.
01:05:21.000 You know what I mean?
01:05:22.000 Well, it's clearly, you know, they don't have the full work.
01:05:25.000 But it's pretty amazing that they even have that.
01:05:27.000 Because, you know, this is thousands and thousands and thousands of years old.
01:05:30.000 And it's made out of an animal skin.
01:05:32.000 I mean, it's really pretty incredible that it exists at all. 0.99
01:05:36.000 I mean, even if it's only pieces of it, but it's so cool that they found this shit in clay pots. 0.96
01:05:41.000 And these, of course, were stories that were told in like an oral tradition for a thousand years before anybody figured out how to write them down. 0.97
01:05:50.000 But then you're dealing with the New Testament, which was Constantine and a bunch of bishops put together.
01:05:56.000 So it's much more recent.
01:05:57.000 They actually know who the people were who put it together.
01:06:00.000 And it was all like way after Jesus was dead.
01:06:03.000 Isn't that crazy?
01:06:04.000 Isn't that crazy, though, when you really stop and think about the fact that some dudes wrote this down?
01:06:12.000 Not just some dudes, but an emperor who clearly wanted to convert all of his people to Christianity to control them. 0.75
01:06:18.000 But that we still are like, well, this is the thing we've got to follow.
01:06:21.000 Yeah.
01:06:21.000 Well, the dude, Constantine, didn't even get baptized until, like, right before he died.
01:06:25.000 Like, you know, I mean, I think, you know, he had to get baptized so that the next people could say, no, no, no, we got him.
01:06:30.000 He's good.
01:06:31.000 You know, stay Christian. 0.99
01:06:32.000 Everyone stays Christian. 0.98
01:06:33.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:06:33.000 Because if he dies and he's not baptized, you have to admit to the entire world that this guy, you know, somehow or another is going to hell.
01:06:40.000 The guy who converted everybody to Christianity ran the Roman Empire that way. 0.95
01:06:45.000 And hired all these bishops to put together the Bible.
01:06:49.000 That's where the New Testament comes from.
01:06:50.000 So when you're dealing with the New Testament, you're dealing with an even squirrelier piece of work.
01:06:54.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99
01:06:55.000 Because it's like, what dubious fucking origins? 0.99
01:06:58.000 Like, you're telling me Constantine's got a direct line to God? 0.99
01:07:01.000 Some murderous Roman Empire guy, he's got a direct line to God? 1.00
01:07:06.000 Bitch, just get the fuck out of here. 1.00
01:07:08.000 Get my face right here. 1.00
01:07:09.000 The oldest, oldest shit is ridiculous. 1.00
01:07:11.000 The newer, older shit is ridiculous. 1.00
01:07:14.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:07:14.000 If there was no Bible at all, man, somebody would try to make one up. 1.00
01:07:18.000 Of course.
01:07:18.000 Some dude would be right now writing it.
01:07:21.000 Do you ever think about...
01:07:21.000 You know how every year or a few years a story will come about where a guy's like, I'm Christ.
01:07:27.000 Like, I'm Jesus Christ.
01:07:28.000 I'm back.
01:07:29.000 And then, you know, whatever. 1.00
01:07:30.000 He'll fucking die in a shootout or some shit or get arrested. 1.00
01:07:35.000 Do you ever think about the fact that, like... 1.00
01:07:37.000 2,000 years ago, somebody could have been like, I'm God.
01:07:40.000 And that's that guy?
01:07:42.000 It's just that it happened long ago and nothing happened to him?
01:07:44.000 Of course.
01:07:44.000 If you're just really good at it, you could dominate a huge group of people.
01:07:49.000 And by the way, you could also have some really cool shit to say as well as being a fucking nut. 1.00
01:07:54.000 Like Deepak Chopra. 1.00
01:07:56.000 Like Deepak Chopra, we were talking about him on ONA. He's got some really cool shit to say. 0.98
01:08:01.000 He's a silly man. 1.00
01:08:02.000 He says a lot of silly shit. 1.00
01:08:03.000 Like, I used to be an atheist until I realized I was God. 1.00
01:08:06.000 That was one of his quotes.
01:08:07.000 Because we're all God?
01:08:08.000 Is that that kind of thing? 0.99
01:08:08.000 What the fuck ever? 0.99
01:08:10.000 Shut up. 1.00
01:08:10.000 You're not God. 1.00
01:08:11.000 You know?
01:08:12.000 Turn some water into wine.
01:08:13.000 You can't do it? 1.00
01:08:14.000 Shut your mouth. 0.99
01:08:15.000 We're all God. 0.99
01:08:15.000 You're God. 0.99
01:08:16.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:08:16.000 I get it.
01:08:17.000 That's silly. 1.00
01:08:17.000 Shut your mouth. 1.00
01:08:19.000 Don't say shit like that. 1.00
01:08:20.000 It's stupid. 1.00
01:08:21.000 It makes people marginalize you. 1.00
01:08:22.000 Marginalizes the whole idea of universal consciousness when you talk in such fucking vague and silly terms. 0.99
01:08:27.000 Well, Joseph. 0.99
01:08:28.000 Oh, we're all God.
01:08:29.000 Oh, please, go on.
01:08:30.000 Go on with your Gucci sunglasses.
01:08:32.000 Civilization theory, you're a God, though.
01:08:33.000 If that was true.
01:08:34.000 Well, simulation theory, no.
01:08:36.000 You're part of a program.
01:08:38.000 And you're running this program somehow or another in the background.
01:08:42.000 Simulation theory is not that you're...
01:08:44.000 You're thinking of, like, the secret more.
01:08:46.000 You're thinking, instead of simulation theory, you think of the power of suggestion or the power of positive thinking or the idea...
01:08:54.000 I was thinking of me somewhere in the future, just sitting there watching myself sleep.
01:08:58.000 Or, you know, like...
01:08:59.000 I'm the one that started the program and I'm kind of playing a game right now of me right here.
01:09:05.000 You know what I mean?
01:09:05.000 I don't think anybody thinks that.
01:09:07.000 I think that.
01:09:08.000 That you created this whole thing?
01:09:09.000 I think that somewhere in the future I'm sitting here doing a simulation of myself.
01:09:14.000 Well, and I don't think people think that they created it.
01:09:16.000 I think most people think that it's just something that's running that you're a part of.
01:09:19.000 But if you think that you actually created itself, you know, why don't you know how to create anything now?
01:09:24.000 Like how come you're not like a computer programmer?
01:09:26.000 You lost all that knowledge in the simulation?
01:09:29.000 No, because this me is just a program.
01:09:31.000 So you, it's like you can marginalize yourself in your computer program.
01:09:35.000 So you could be like some super genius who knows all and say, I am going to give myself limited knowledge and information in this life.
01:09:41.000 It's a realistic simulation. 0.99
01:09:43.000 As a goof, to make life more difficult, I'm going to make myself really dumb and lazy. 0.99
01:09:48.000 And I'm going to give myself a club foot. 0.99
01:09:51.000 And I'm going to give myself one hand that works, another hand that's like semi-paralyzed from birth.
01:09:57.000 Like, it's so crazy.
01:09:59.000 Like, we're all doing it. 0.59
01:10:00.000 We're all creating our own universe and just some people did a really shitty job of designing themselves.
01:10:04.000 No, that's just to make it look realistic.
01:10:06.000 You have to have, like, legless people around there. 1.00
01:10:08.000 Okay, so they're not you, so they're not real.
01:10:10.000 Right, right.
01:10:10.000 That's Melissa Etheridge type thinking.
01:10:13.000 Is that what she thinks?
01:10:14.000 Melissa Etheridge says that she gets on an airplane, she's really happy for all the other people on the airplane because she knows that airplane's not going to crash because she's on it because she's sort of creating her world.
01:10:24.000 That's awesome.
01:10:25.000 The power of suggestion.
01:10:26.000 I'm really, really proud of her.
01:10:27.000 I love it.
01:10:28.000 Well, maybe she's right.
01:10:30.000 Here's the thing.
01:10:32.000 It's so easy to goof on her or anybody who thinks that way, but we can't prove that's not the case.
01:10:38.000 We can't.
01:10:39.000 We can't prove what kind of power your consciousness has over the world itself.
01:10:45.000 We assume there's a lot of random factors that come into play in life.
01:10:50.000 Whether it's with car accidents or meteor impacts or disease, name it, fill in the blank.
01:10:59.000 But we don't know that.
01:11:01.000 And there's a lot of things about being a person that are very strange.
01:11:05.000 There's a lot of things about our interactions with each other, about energy, about the amount of energy you put out and what you get back, the way you interact with humans.
01:11:14.000 And how do we not know that those things in some way or another, the way you interact with people, flavor not just your relationships with those people, but the entire reality that you live in?
01:11:26.000 Mm-hmm.
01:11:26.000 It's very possible that there's more flexibility and that the world is more malleable than we think it is.
01:11:34.000 And that we have everything defined in terms of what something weighs or how much distance this is.
01:11:39.000 But these are just sort of crude static factors in a constantly changing and moving world.
01:11:46.000 And the human mind interacting with that world might be much more significant than we think it is.
01:11:53.000 It's one of the The smallest,
01:12:16.000 tiniest thing.
01:12:17.000 It's magic.
01:12:18.000 It's all magic.
01:12:19.000 When you get into quantum mechanics, when you get into string theory, subatomic particles, when you get into really complex mathematics and different experiments they do on the smallest, tiniest, measurable parts of the world,
01:12:35.000 it's all magic.
01:12:36.000 It's all empty space.
01:12:38.000 I mean, atoms are mostly empty space.
01:12:40.000 Inside these subatomic particles, they're moving and they're still at the same time.
01:12:45.000 They blink in and out of existence.
01:12:47.000 They go somewhere and they disappear and then they come back.
01:12:50.000 We have no idea where they go.
01:12:52.000 We just know they go somewhere.
01:12:53.000 They exhibit magic.
01:12:55.000 The lowest measurable part of the universe itself is magic.
01:13:00.000 The smallest portions that we can measure are magic. 0.68
01:13:03.000 So just because everything is big and this table is made out of oak and this microphone is metal, that doesn't mean shit. 0.98
01:13:10.000 I mean, it means shit if I hit you over the head with this, it's gonna fucking hurt because that's the rules we've chosen. 0.96
01:13:14.000 But the actual reality itself, it's very malleable. 0.99
01:13:19.000 There's a lot of weirdness to the world.
01:13:20.000 I don't think Melissa Etheridge is totally right.
01:13:22.000 I think there's a lot of hubris involved in thinking that you have the answer and that you thinking good thoughts and, you know, this plane is never gonna crash.
01:13:31.000 I don't believe that.
01:13:33.000 I mean, this is coming also from a person who suffered from cancer.
01:13:37.000 So it's like, I think it's a self-serving philosophy to think that way.
01:13:43.000 You might be right, but to say you're right, I think, is crazy.
01:13:48.000 Yeah, and you can't dictate.
01:13:50.000 I mean, I think positive thinking is a good thing, too.
01:13:52.000 Yeah.
01:13:52.000 It's not all safe because you walked in the room.
01:13:54.000 But it might be. 0.99
01:13:55.000 That's what's fucked. 0.95
01:13:56.000 It might not be. 0.99
01:13:58.000 Might be, meaning it might be because it's her?
01:14:00.000 Or it might be because of...
01:14:01.000 Because of anybody.
01:14:02.000 Anybody.
01:14:02.000 Anybody who thinks a certain way.
01:14:04.000 Anybody who lives their life with... 1.00
01:14:06.000 It sounds like bullshit. 1.00
01:14:08.000 Trust me. 1.00
01:14:08.000 If people are going crazy right now listening to this, I agree with you. 1.00
01:14:11.000 It sounds like bullshit. 0.99
01:14:13.000 Most likely, it's not true. 0.99
01:14:15.000 But it might be true.
01:14:16.000 We can't prove that it's not.
01:14:18.000 We don't know all of the interactions that the human mind and consciousness have on the universe itself.
01:14:26.000 We don't know.
01:14:26.000 We assume that it's as simple as you are responsible for your life, you're responsible for your actions, you're responsible for where you drive and where you go to school, what comes out of your mouth.
01:14:37.000 We assume that that is just a part of the mathematical interaction of human beings in this culture, in this society, in this civilization.
01:14:44.000 But we're not totally sure.
01:14:45.000 It is possible that your thinking and that your mind itself might affect reality.
01:14:51.000 Because the reality that you see and the reality that I see is just what's in front of us.
01:14:55.000 We assume that this is constantly going on behind the scenes.
01:14:58.000 You assume that when you go home and you sit in front of the TV, you assume I exist.
01:15:05.000 Until I text you, you don't know for sure.
01:15:07.000 Until you call me or we meet and we high-five and get on a plane, go tell some jokes, we don't know that we exist.
01:15:14.000 We just assume, based on the evidence that I've accumulated, when I go home, I assume that you, Tommy Buns, live your life. 1.00
01:15:23.000 But I don't know what the fuck you do. 0.99
01:15:25.000 The whole thing could be a joke. 0.99
01:15:27.000 My life could be non-real.
01:15:29.000 In your world, I could be just what happens when you come around the program that is Joe Rogan.
01:15:35.000 Right.
01:15:35.000 I might not be real.
01:15:37.000 You leave this room and you go out and this whole thing might shut down.
01:15:42.000 And the only time it turns on is when you're watching.
01:15:44.000 Sort of like the difference between particles being observed and not being observed. 0.95
01:15:48.000 They exhibit different behavior because they're interacting with whatever the fuck it is that measures them. 0.76
01:15:53.000 It all goes back to reality is what you make of it. 0.98
01:15:56.000 Maybe.
01:15:58.000 Well, maybe, but you can really...
01:16:02.000 If you decide to live your life within that thought that reality is what I make of it, you dictate everything.
01:16:12.000 In a lot of ways, you do.
01:16:13.000 In a lot of ways, you do.
01:16:14.000 When people die, they always say they see the light.
01:16:17.000 When they come back to life, when they die, they always see the light.
01:16:20.000 They always say, like, I saw my...
01:16:22.000 Family was all there and it was all cloudy.
01:16:24.000 People were smoking weed.
01:16:25.000 What if that was just you waking up going, oh yeah, this was a whole program that I did and my family's here and we're all just hanging out.
01:16:34.000 Well, that's a joke that I used to do about the aliens.
01:16:37.000 The simulation theory, what it really is, the reason why aliens exist, that's us. 0.97
01:16:42.000 Aliens are us in the future, and what we are is we're people that fucked up, and we evolved too far. 0.93
01:16:48.000 We eliminated all the fun out of the world. 1.00
01:16:50.000 We eliminated sex, blowjobs, muscle cars, cigarettes. 0.80
01:16:54.000 We took out whiskey. 0.52
01:16:56.000 We eliminated all human conflict, and what are we left with? 1.00
01:17:00.000 We're left with boring bullshit. 0.99
01:17:02.000 We don't have bodies. 1.00
01:17:03.000 We have these weird stick bodies anymore. 0.98
01:17:04.000 We don't have dicks. 1.00
01:17:06.000 Somewhere along the line, people realize that dicks and vaginas are causing huge fucking problems. 1.00
01:17:10.000 There's too many women out there that are getting pregnant to keep a man. 1.00
01:17:13.000 There's too many men out there that are raping. 1.00
01:17:15.000 There's too much nonsense. 0.98
01:17:16.000 There's too many people that are having babies that really don't support these children correctly. 0.69
01:17:20.000 So sex and sexual urges being what's responsible for breeding, we gotta factor that out.
01:17:26.000 We gotta take that out of the equation.
01:17:27.000 So one day, they got everything Like, changed and evolved to a point where they eliminated all the variables in the world.
01:17:39.000 They have too much power and they eliminated sex and emotions.
01:17:43.000 And we don't like it.
01:17:44.000 So we plug ourselves in to a simulated version of the roaring 20s of the digital age.
01:17:52.000 It's not a coincidence that we are, at this moment in time, the craziest moment the world has ever known, where the world and the universe is constantly changing every second of every day.
01:18:01.000 It's not a coincidence at all.
01:18:03.000 In fact, this is what we asked for.
01:18:05.000 We asked to be born in this time.
01:18:07.000 We right now...
01:18:08.000 I mean, I said this on stage Friday night, but I believe it.
01:18:12.000 We live in the greatest time to be alive ever.
01:18:15.000 This is the strangest, wildest, most...
01:18:19.000 They're the most possibility-filled time in life.
01:18:23.000 There's so many things going on constantly.
01:18:26.000 There was something in the news today that the first monkeys were born that have...
01:18:31.000 They altered the genetics of them.
01:18:35.000 I'll pull it up on Twitter because this is such a strange...
01:18:40.000 strange... 0.92
01:18:46.000 When I posted it, everybody was like, wait a minute, isn't this how fucking Planet of the Apes got started? 0.81
01:18:50.000 But it is how Planet of the Apes got started. 0.89
01:18:53.000 These idea, first monkeys with customized DNA, programmed genetic mutations.
01:18:59.000 So they are programmed genetic mutations, and these monkeys were born.
01:19:05.000 So they're working on creating a perfect monkey. 0.99
01:19:09.000 They're going to alter the genes of these monkeys, and they're going to continue to alter genes of the monkeys until essentially they have a monkey that's as smart as a fucking person. 1.00
01:19:18.000 Really? 1.00
01:19:18.000 Or a monkey that has a giant dick. 1.00
01:19:20.000 Or a monkey that grows wings and flies like a bat. 0.99
01:19:24.000 This program's in place?
01:19:25.000 This is something that's being planned?
01:19:26.000 The monkeys are born.
01:19:27.000 These monkeys are born.
01:19:28.000 We live in a fantastic time.
01:19:30.000 And the idea being that what the aliens are, when everybody has these archetypal experiences, it's always these things that look very similar to what you would expect human beings to eventually become.
01:19:43.000 If you go back to the lower hominids, you go back to monkeys, you go back to chimpanzees, you go back to the great apes, And you look at them in comparison to us, what do you see? 0.97
01:19:53.000 Well, they have more hair, they look much stronger, they're much more physically fit.
01:19:58.000 You take the average person that works in an office, the average man, and you compare them to the great apes. 0.99
01:20:05.000 They're all fat and they're skinny, they have no muscle.
01:20:09.000 What is going to be next? 0.98
01:20:10.000 What's going to be next?
01:20:11.000 Well, what's going to be next is that we're going to continue the trend to not need brawn, to not need biological strength.
01:20:17.000 The brains are going to get bigger.
01:20:20.000 Telekinesis, the ability to control things with the mind, the ability to talk without using language, so the mouth is going to shrink up. 0.97
01:20:26.000 The environment's going to be all fucked, so you're going to have to need built-in sunglasses. 1.00
01:20:30.000 You've got these fucking gigantic black eyes that are going to evolve because we're going to ruin our fucking atmosphere. 1.00
01:20:34.000 I mean, they literally are what we'd expect us to look like a million years from now. 1.00
01:20:38.000 We would expect human beings to slowly but surely evolve into that.
01:20:42.000 If we used to be hairy little furry rodents, which is what we were, the idea of, you know, there was no primates 65 million years ago, okay?
01:20:51.000 When the great extinction event happened that killed off the dinosaurs, the giant piece of rock from the sky that hit the Yucatan, there was no primates. 0.61
01:20:59.000 Primates, somehow or another, Evolved out of that, out of the shrews and the monkey and the rats and whatever the fuck survived.
01:21:06.000 Whatever mammalian life forms survived. 0.97
01:21:08.000 It's so crazy to think of.
01:21:09.000 That's only 65 million years ago, man.
01:21:11.000 That's as far back as we know.
01:21:14.000 For sure, there was no people, no way, no how.
01:21:17.000 And it's a blink of an eye.
01:21:19.000 In terms of the universe, it's a blink of an eye, 65 million years ago.
01:21:22.000 Yeah.
01:21:22.000 So we're so positive that things got wiped out at 65 million years ago.
01:21:27.000 So positive.
01:21:28.000 So positive that's when the dinosaurs died off.
01:21:30.000 So from then on, somehow or another, people were created.
01:21:33.000 That's nothing! 0.99
01:21:34.000 That's a goddamn blink of the eye! 0.99
01:21:36.000 And if you look at how much different we look than the early monkeys, What's next? 0.99
01:21:43.000 Aliens is next.
01:21:44.000 That's next.
01:21:45.000 It's 100% next.
01:21:46.000 That's what you would think.
01:21:47.000 If we're going to continue this trend of no hair, hair loss on the arms and the body, people are getting less hairy, people are getting less strong, they're getting smaller, you're using your fingers and Eventually you're going to use Google Glasses so you're just going to talk to it.
01:22:00.000 Eventually it's going to be able to read your mind so you don't have to talk. 0.99
01:22:02.000 Your fucking vocal cords are going to shrink up. 1.00
01:22:04.000 We're going to all agree to genetically alter ourselves so we don't have penises anymore. 1.00
01:22:08.000 As soon as they come up with a fucking thing that you can program into that takes you in a wild sexual ride of simulation that you could never achieve with your actual real dick, you'd be like, I don't need this stupid thing anymore. 1.00
01:22:20.000 Your dick is going to be just as dumb as a horse. 1.00
01:22:22.000 Your dick is going to be like something that you're like, remember when people used to fuck with dicks? 1.00
01:22:26.000 You gotta laugh about it. 1.00
01:22:28.000 Just like when sending a fucking pigeon with a note wrapped around its leg. 0.99
01:22:31.000 Why would I do that when I can text you? 1.00
01:22:33.000 You wouldn't.
01:22:33.000 You wouldn't.
01:22:34.000 But what about the actual having the writing in your hand? 0.99
01:22:37.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.98
01:22:38.000 The dude will send me a selfie with a big smile and a thumbs up and it gets to me in one second. 1.00
01:22:42.000 I have to rely on some stupid pigeon. 1.00
01:22:44.000 That's going to be what sex becomes. 1.00
01:22:45.000 Sex is going to become some silly thing that we don't need to do anymore. 0.98
01:22:48.000 Because we're going to have some integrated... 0.70
01:22:51.000 Pleasure system that's in our mind where we're going to be able to just go.
01:22:55.000 Get that release. 1.00
01:22:56.000 You're going to be able to fuck anyone you want, man. 1.00
01:22:58.000 You're going to be able to have insane sex with Christy Brinkley when she was 21. You're going to be able to fuck the hottest woman on the planet. 1.00
01:23:06.000 You're going to be able to have sex with a hundred Beyonce's. 1.00
01:23:08.000 The Wu-Tang Clan. 1.00
01:23:09.000 In a room. 1.00
01:23:09.000 The whole Wu-Tang Clan is going to suck your dick. 1.00
01:23:11.000 Awesome. 1.00
01:23:11.000 Whoever you want. 1.00
01:23:12.000 You're going to literally be able to do whatever you want whenever you want to do it.
01:23:16.000 Once they figure out, look at this Oculus Rift thing.
01:23:20.000 What we're seeing when we see Oculus Rift is the first photograph.
01:23:23.000 Do you ever see those first photographs where they used to have a thing?
01:23:26.000 They would throw a tent over their back.
01:23:28.000 They'd be hiding in this box.
01:23:31.000 You ever see the really old cameras?
01:23:33.000 The way they used to set up?
01:23:34.000 Oh, right.
01:23:34.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:23:34.000 That's right.
01:23:34.000 They would throw a towel over the top of their head.
01:23:36.000 That's right.
01:23:37.000 And they would point this thing and everybody had to stay still for a minute.
01:23:40.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:23:40.000 Don't fucking move. 0.99
01:23:41.000 Don't fucking move. 0.99
01:23:42.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:23:43.000 That's what we're seeing with Oculus Rift.
01:23:45.000 What do you think physically will be the evolutionary change of humans?
01:23:49.000 They'll shrink?
01:23:50.000 Do you think we're shrinking?
01:23:51.000 We're eventually going to get to the point where we don't need...
01:23:53.000 People are getting bigger now, but that's because of protein.
01:23:56.000 Protein intake, because people understand diet better.
01:23:59.000 And as far as athletes, you're dealing with hormonal manipulation, growth hormone, testosterone.
01:24:05.000 You're also dealing with massive scientific advances in strength and conditioning training.
01:24:10.000 And then also...
01:24:12.000 There's some selective breeding, big people dating big people.
01:24:15.000 Is that Christy Brinkley?
01:24:16.000 Yes, this is her today.
01:24:17.000 60. She's jamming. 1.00
01:24:19.000 Jesus.
01:24:20.000 You've got to see her moving around, too.
01:24:22.000 It's not an illusion.
01:24:23.000 It's not an illusion created by the photograph.
01:24:26.000 I mean, she definitely looks like an older, mature woman, but I would send it home. 1.00
01:24:31.000 I would send it home.
01:24:33.000 She's 60?
01:24:34.000 Yep.
01:24:34.000 Send it home.
01:24:35.000 I'd have to be real careful, because I am a fucking animal. 0.99
01:24:38.000 You know what I'm saying, buddy? 1.00
01:24:38.000 You think you'd hurt her? 1.00
01:24:39.000 Yeah.
01:24:40.000 You know what I'm saying, buddy?
01:24:41.000 I've got that hip strength.
01:24:42.000 I've got lower back muscles.
01:24:43.000 They're thick.
01:24:44.000 They're cords.
01:24:46.000 Cettabell swings? 1.00
01:24:47.000 All that shit, son. 1.00
01:24:48.000 I do a lot of those. 1.00
01:24:49.000 I do a lot of those.
01:24:50.000 Do it with Christy. 1.00
01:24:51.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
01:24:52.000 Well, they're going to get to a point where you're going to be able to reverse aging. 1.00
01:24:58.000 Unquestionably, they're working on that.
01:25:00.000 And they're already doing tests on that on other animals.
01:25:04.000 I feel like this path is going to lead us to just... 1.00
01:25:07.000 Be born and just lay down with a fucking monitor in front of us like and just you sip your fucking nutrients in a cup and never stand up and just plug into whatever you want to be. 0.99
01:25:18.000 We're gonna get our nutrients the same way those wireless pads are when you know you take one of those new cell phones we get sitted on something and it just charges you don't even have to plug it in. 1.00
01:25:27.000 That's how we're gonna get our nutrients.
01:25:28.000 Our nutrients are gonna be delivered through our car seats.
01:25:31.000 As we drive to work, we're going to get nutrients.
01:25:33.000 You're going to drive to work naked, and the nutrients are going to just be absorbed by your body skin.
01:25:38.000 I mean, why not your skin?
01:25:40.000 I mean, you rub testosterone cream on, testosterone cream absorbs right through your skin. 0.99
01:25:44.000 They're going to fuck it, and you're going to be able to sit in your little Honda on your way to work, and your car is going to feed you. 1.00
01:25:51.000 I believe it. 1.00
01:25:52.000 No shitting, no farting. 0.98
01:25:54.000 No farting. 0.99
01:25:54.000 Yeah, and if you want to feel a Henry VIII orgy of food and big fucking turkey legs, you just program that. 0.99
01:26:02.000 Punch in that program and take you on a journey to Henry VIII land. 0.99
01:26:07.000 You'll dine at a gigantic oak table with enemy heads hanging from the fucking ceiling. 0.98
01:26:13.000 It's pretty awesome to think of all the worlds you could create and just jump into it in a second. 0.99
01:26:18.000 It's coming, dude.
01:26:19.000 We are just so...
01:26:22.000 I'm comfortable with the world that we live in now.
01:26:24.000 It seems so normal to us.
01:26:26.000 But you have a lamp on your table over there. 1.00
01:26:29.000 You got a goddamn lava lamp sitting next to you. 1.00
01:26:31.000 This weird gooey shit is bouncing up and down. 1.00
01:26:34.000 Someone figured out a way to have electricity The shit that creates lightning come through the walls in these weird pipes. 0.99
01:26:44.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:26:44.000 You got the wrong one there, silly face. 1.00
01:26:46.000 You can't see it. 0.99
01:26:47.000 Push that in front of the assault lamp.
01:26:50.000 Pull that thing over so people can see what we're talking about.
01:26:53.000 Grab the bottom of it.
01:26:54.000 Grab the bottom of it.
01:26:55.000 Here?
01:26:55.000 Yeah.
01:26:55.000 Watch out.
01:26:56.000 It's going to fall.
01:26:57.000 It's not going to fall.
01:26:59.000 Look at that thing. 0.99
01:27:01.000 If you brought that thing back in time, if you brought that thing, just a simple-ass stupid lava lamp, if you brought that back in time and showed someone from King Arthur's time, they'd kill you. 1.00
01:27:13.000 Definitely. 1.00
01:27:13.000 You use sorcery! 1.00
01:27:16.000 My lord!
01:27:18.000 There's electricity in the walls.
01:27:19.000 There's lightning in the walls!
01:27:21.000 We're going to die! 0.99
01:27:23.000 You're going to die. 1.00
01:27:24.000 Stick a fork in that hole in the wall and you're dead. 1.00
01:27:25.000 Every person has a hole in their house where you stick a fork in and you're dead. 0.98
01:27:30.000 Yeah.
01:27:32.000 That's crazy, isn't it? 0.99
01:27:33.000 It's ridiculous! 1.00
01:27:34.000 You might not die. 1.00
01:27:35.000 You might just get really fucked up. 1.00
01:27:37.000 I got lucky as a kid. 1.00
01:27:38.000 I stuck a key into an outlet.
01:27:40.000 Oh, my God.
01:27:41.000 And I don't know how the...
01:27:42.000 I guess it had maybe the shutoff, you know...
01:27:45.000 Yeah, circuit breakers.
01:27:46.000 Right, but I stuck it in.
01:27:48.000 Oh, my God.
01:27:49.000 Sparks flew...
01:27:50.000 I mean, flew out of it.
01:27:51.000 The key broke in half.
01:27:53.000 Like, the burnt end stayed in.
01:27:54.000 It burned, charred.
01:27:55.000 Jesus. 0.99
01:27:55.000 And it broke, and I was just like, I think I fucked up in here. 0.99
01:27:59.000 Like... 0.97
01:28:02.000 I did the same thing, but I took a wire.
01:28:04.000 My idea is it's going to transfer electricity from the top outlet to the bottom outlet.
01:28:08.000 And so I put it in there, and I remember my dad was watching Incredible Hulk at the time, because that's why I was in the kitchen hiding.
01:28:13.000 And so I put in the wire, sparks, and fire.
01:28:15.000 It felt like it was fire, but I'm sure it was just sparks.
01:28:17.000 If we had done that in the 50s, we'd just be dead, probably, right?
01:28:21.000 Well, if you had done that during the days of direct current, it would have been very different.
01:28:25.000 Very different.
01:28:26.000 Do you remember the Thomas Edison experiments they did when Thomas Edison was trying to warn people against the effects of alternating current?
01:28:37.000 They cooked an elephant.
01:28:39.000 They hook this elephant up to these wires and barbecue this elephant? 0.86
01:28:46.000 No.
01:28:47.000 You never seen that?
01:28:47.000 It's pretty crazy.
01:28:49.000 Thomas Edison, interesting cat, because obviously great genius and inventor and responsible for a lot of pretty incredible things, but also was doing battle with the concepts that were being endorsed by other scientists, like even Nikola Tesla,
01:29:05.000 who was an alternating current guy.
01:29:07.000 He believed in ultimate current, and Edison, his whole thing was set up on direct current. 0.98
01:29:13.000 So if you watch it, pull that video up, because it's fucking crazy.
01:29:17.000 Like this is, again, when you think about human beings, it's not that long ago, man. 0.95
01:29:21.000 Yeah.
01:29:21.000 You know?
01:29:22.000 I mean, this is, what was it?
01:29:23.000 19 what?
01:29:24.000 When did this happen?
01:29:31.000 Jesus.
01:29:32.000 1903. 1903. So this is when people were just starting to figure out what the fuck electricity could do.
01:29:39.000 And they have this elephant chained up, and Thomas Edison's like, look, I'm going to show you guys what happens if you don't fucking listen to me! 0.98
01:29:48.000 So he did this just to disprove the other guys. 0.96
01:29:50.000 Yes, but watch what he does.
01:29:52.000 They have this thing connected to this, and they just charge it up and zap this elephant.
01:29:57.000 Look, he's cooking right now. 1.00
01:29:58.000 Damn, dude. 1.00
01:29:58.000 This poor elephant is just standing there, and boom, it falls over dead. 1.00
01:30:03.000 Damn. 1.00
01:30:04.000 And that's in your house. 1.00
01:30:06.000 That's in your walls. 1.00
01:30:07.000 And Edison was trying to let you know, like, listen to me, bitch. 1.00
01:30:11.000 Like, what a crazy fuck that guy is. 1.00
01:30:13.000 He didn't just try to prove it with science. 1.00
01:30:14.000 He said, okay, I'm going to show you.
01:30:17.000 I'm going to take something bigger than you, and I'm going to cook it.
01:30:20.000 I'm going to cook it with electricity.
01:30:21.000 In, like, two seconds.
01:30:21.000 Yeah, so let's not...
01:30:22.000 So that must have been, like, a huge, like, wave of fear and paranoia after that. 0.96
01:30:27.000 Like, they cooked a fucking elephant with this new type of electricity. 0.93
01:30:31.000 Because in that case, what did he... 0.99
01:30:33.000 He hooked it up...
01:30:34.000 He cooked it!
01:30:34.000 They covered it with wires.
01:30:36.000 I mean, they connected it with wires and then fucking just electrocuted the shit out of it. 0.99
01:30:41.000 Jesus Christ. 0.99
01:30:42.000 That was Thomas Edison!
01:30:44.000 Could you imagine if in 2014, okay?
01:30:47.000 If, you know...
01:30:49.000 100 plus years later, they did that.
01:30:51.000 Do you imagine if someone tried to prove something?
01:30:53.000 If they tried to prove, you know, we are on the verge of wireless electricity, ladies and gentlemen, in order to tell you what is wrong with wireless electricity. 0.92
01:31:03.000 Here's, you know, Marty McFuckface, and Marty McFuckface, the scientist, shows us. 0.95
01:31:08.000 Here we are in Times Square, ladies and gentlemen. 0.98
01:31:10.000 This is an elephant.
01:31:11.000 It is connected to this receiver, and we're going to broadcast wireless electricity to his brain.
01:31:17.000 Watch what happens.
01:31:18.000 This poor elephant. 1.00
01:31:19.000 Fucking ears stick out, strip. 1.00
01:31:22.000 Starts bleeding from his eyeballs and falls face first. 1.00
01:31:25.000 PETA would be all over it. 0.91
01:31:27.000 Everyone would freak out. 1.00
01:31:28.000 That dude would get killed immediately. 1.00
01:31:30.000 They would kill him. 1.00
01:31:31.000 If they didn't kill him, they would beat him. 1.00
01:31:33.000 They would torture him to the end of time. 1.00
01:31:35.000 He's an asshole. 1.00
01:31:37.000 You're not even eating an elephant. 1.00
01:31:39.000 It's not like a cow that you electrocute it and then you eat it.
01:31:43.000 No, you're just killing it. 0.93
01:31:44.000 You're killing it to prove a point.
01:31:47.000 That's just a hundred plus years ago, man.
01:31:49.000 It's really not long ago at all.
01:31:50.000 It's not at all!
01:31:51.000 If you really stop and think about how much different people are, 2003 it was?
01:31:56.000 Or, well, 1903, really?
01:31:58.000 Yeah, 1903. Think about that.
01:31:59.000 Dude, behaviors change so much.
01:32:01.000 If you measure by decades, it's crazy how much.
01:32:04.000 How about you measure by movies? 0.81
01:32:06.000 Men used to slap women across the face all the time. 0.99
01:32:09.000 Slap women! 1.00
01:32:10.000 James Cagney. 0.64
01:32:11.000 Heroes!
01:32:12.000 Heroes.
01:32:13.000 Heroes. 0.84
01:32:15.000 Heroes used to smack women right across the face. 1.00
01:32:17.000 John Wayne style.
01:32:19.000 Get a hold of yourself.
01:32:21.000 Smack! 1.00
01:32:21.000 Smack! 1.00
01:32:22.000 And the woman would just stand there and take it. 1.00
01:32:24.000 And then they'd start making out.
01:32:25.000 That's Sean Connery in that interview talking about it.
01:32:27.000 You've seen that, right?
01:32:28.000 Yeah. 0.66
01:32:28.000 If she doesn't listen, if she doesn't listen, just smack you around. 0.66
01:32:33.000 He was saying that women have a way of getting you to do that.
01:32:37.000 Uh-huh. 0.99
01:32:38.000 Dude, you're dating the wrong bitches. 1.00
01:32:40.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:32:41.000 Smacking them. 0.66
01:32:41.000 For sure. 0.66
01:32:42.000 You're dating the wrong women. 0.98
01:32:43.000 All women don't do that. 1.00
01:32:45.000 Hell no.
01:32:45.000 You're choosing to date that style of person.
01:32:49.000 Yeah.
01:32:49.000 There were people 200 years ago that wouldn't cause you to hit them.
01:32:52.000 They wouldn't torment you.
01:32:54.000 Not everybody wants to be constantly in conflict. 1.00
01:32:57.000 It's such a stupid state. 1.00
01:32:58.000 He's drawn to the conflict. 1.00
01:32:59.000 That's why.
01:33:00.000 He's an actor.
01:33:01.000 He's an actor.
01:33:02.000 As awesome as he is, he's an actor.
01:33:04.000 He's an actor.
01:33:05.000 But he also, you know, he's coming from a different era.
01:33:07.000 For sure. 1.00
01:33:08.000 But he looked at, I think that was Barbara Walters, he was like, I'm going to smack you next if you keep that shit up. 0.99
01:33:13.000 Pull that up so we can watch that. 1.00
01:33:15.000 It's fucking business. 1.00
01:33:16.000 It's Sean Connery saying you should hit women. 1.00
01:33:20.000 I mean, and this happened a long time ago. 0.99
01:33:23.000 Yeah, it's probably 20 plus, maybe 25 to 30 years ago, I'm guessing.
01:33:28.000 Obviously not a long time ago in terms of what we've been saying the entire podcast.
01:33:31.000 Right.
01:33:31.000 But he's an old school dude.
01:33:32.000 He's going to be in his late 70s or something by now, right?
01:33:34.000 Yeah.
01:33:35.000 But what I'm saying is you couldn't do that today.
01:33:37.000 Hell no.
01:33:38.000 The culture has evolved quite a bit.
01:33:40.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:33:41.000 We couldn't do that today.
01:33:41.000 A few years go by.
01:33:42.000 It's not the worst thing to slap a woman now and then.
01:33:45.000 As I remember, you said you don't do it with a clenched fist.
01:33:47.000 It's better to do it with an open hand.
01:33:49.000 Yeah.
01:33:50.000 Remember that?
01:33:50.000 Yeah.
01:33:51.000 Yeah.
01:33:52.000 I didn't love that.
01:33:53.000 I haven't changed my opinion.
01:33:55.000 What did she say?
01:33:55.000 I would love that?
01:33:56.000 Is that what she said?
01:33:57.000 Hold on a second.
01:33:58.000 Hold on.
01:33:58.000 Hold on.
01:33:58.000 Hold on.
01:33:59.000 What did she say?
01:34:00.000 First, it's better to do it with an open hand.
01:34:03.000 Yeah.
01:34:03.000 Remember that?
01:34:04.000 Yeah.
01:34:04.000 Yeah.
01:34:05.000 I didn't love that.
01:34:07.000 I haven't changed my opinion.
01:34:08.000 You haven't?
01:34:09.000 No, not at all. 0.98
01:34:10.000 You think it's good to slap a woman? 1.00
01:34:12.000 No, I don't think it's good. 0.80
01:34:13.000 You don't think it's bad?
01:34:14.000 I don't think it's that bad.
01:34:16.000 I think that it depends entirely on the circumstances and if it merits it.
01:34:20.000 What would merit it?
01:34:21.000 If it merits it.
01:34:21.000 Well, if you have tried everything else, and women are pretty good at this, they can't leave it alone.
01:34:29.000 They don't want to have the last word, and you give them the last word, but they're not happy with the last word.
01:34:36.000 They want to say it again and get into a really provocative situation.
01:34:42.000 Then, I think it's absolutely right.
01:34:52.000 Somebody added that in the video.
01:34:53.000 That scared me. 1.00
01:34:55.000 That's stupid. 1.00
01:34:56.000 Someone ruined a good interview. 1.00
01:34:58.000 But the idea behind that is fascinating.
01:35:02.000 Yeah, I mean, all he's really saying is, I don't like a yappy broad. 1.00
01:35:04.000 That's really what he's trying to say.
01:35:06.000 Well, you need to break up with him, dude. 1.00
01:35:07.000 He's fucking out of his mind. 0.99
01:35:09.000 They're not all like that. 1.00
01:35:10.000 It's so crazy.
01:35:11.000 Not all men are like that, and not all women are like that.
01:35:13.000 You know what's so great about that?
01:35:14.000 The only great thing about that is, you know when you call somebody out, She was calling him out on national television, and his defense instincts kicked in.
01:35:25.000 Or when she said, she was like, he realized they're probably just having a nice chat.
01:35:29.000 She brings that up, and he was like, immediately, his face changed.
01:35:33.000 Then he goes, yeah, I haven't changed my position on that.
01:35:35.000 He was really like, I'm going to do battle with you now.
01:35:38.000 He likes conflict.
01:35:39.000 That's a guy who wants to have conflict.
01:35:42.000 Well, I think...
01:35:43.000 I think he's just really confident, and I think he believes in what he's saying, and he thinks that Barbara Walters is trying to catch him and expose that and have him back down.
01:35:55.000 I'm just like, I'm not gonna back down.
01:35:56.000 I'm not gonna back down. 1.00
01:35:58.000 I date crazy bitches, and sometimes I have to smack them. 1.00
01:36:00.000 Smack them around. 1.00
01:36:00.000 But those are the ones that like to fuck, because they fuck like wild animals, and that's what I need in my life. 1.00
01:36:05.000 I'm so hungry. 1.00
01:36:05.000 At 60 years old, I already get my dick hard. 1.00
01:36:07.000 Yeah, he's not very young, exactly. 1.00
01:36:09.000 A screaming bitch that, you know, lets me send it in. 1.00
01:36:12.000 Yeah, no, he's not young at all. 1.00
01:36:14.000 Not young, man.
01:36:15.000 No.
01:36:15.000 With some people, the aphrodisiac, the stimulant, is not just sexual.
01:36:21.000 It's not just how the person looks.
01:36:24.000 It's not just being attracted to them.
01:36:26.000 Sometimes it's drama.
01:36:29.000 There's a lot of people that get sucked up into this idea of fighting and then making up and then to make up sex.
01:36:37.000 Yeah.
01:36:38.000 Super common.
01:36:39.000 Yeah. 0.84
01:36:39.000 Because we all have been there before where you break up with someone and you're like, it's over and it's like fucking devastating and it's heartbreaking. 0.84
01:36:46.000 And then one day you run into them and it might be just a month later or two months later or whatever.
01:36:50.000 Maybe you both have dated other people, whatever.
01:36:52.000 And then you hook up.
01:36:54.000 And it's incredible. 0.98
01:36:55.000 The sex is incredible.
01:36:57.000 And you're nice to each other, and you're like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry too.
01:37:00.000 And you're like...
01:37:00.000 And it's incredible.
01:37:04.000 It's such a heightened type of sex, makeup sex.
01:37:08.000 Because sometimes people need to put things into perspective. 0.68
01:37:11.000 They need the benefit of time.
01:37:14.000 They need the benefit of...
01:37:17.000 Having all these emotions run through your head, having all these bad feelings, but then having them all slow down and relax, and time puts things into perspective. 0.99
01:37:27.000 And then you see each other then, and you're like, ugh, what the fuck? 0.98
01:37:30.000 And all you can think of then is the good times. 1.00
01:37:32.000 It's real hard to think about these really stupid, petty, bad times in relationships once the relationship is over. 0.97
01:37:39.000 You really mostly just think about the good stuff about that person. 0.99
01:37:42.000 Right. 1.00
01:37:42.000 And so then you start fucking again. 1.00
01:37:44.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
01:37:46.000 I bet Sean Connery threw his dick around a lot back over time. 1.00
01:37:51.000 But then again, what happens after that? 0.99
01:37:52.000 You get fucking tired of each other again. 0.97
01:37:54.000 You fall back in your same old ways and you get tired with each other. 0.95
01:37:58.000 And how do you fix that, ladies and gentlemen?
01:38:01.000 That's right. 1.00
01:38:02.000 Smoke some weed and fuck, and you will appreciate each other like you just met. 1.00
01:38:07.000 That's good advice. 1.00
01:38:09.000 That's fucking great advice. 1.00
01:38:10.000 There's no better enhancement to sex than marijuana. 1.00
01:38:15.000 The people who fuck and don't smoke pot, you are missing out on 50% of your sex. 1.00
01:38:21.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:38:21.000 You really are. 1.00
01:38:22.000 You don't know what you're missing. 0.95
01:38:24.000 If I could give you something that's not dangerous And that will make sex 50% better.
01:38:30.000 Do you know what that would be worth on the open market? 1.00
01:38:33.000 I mean, there's stupid pills that you take that are supposed to make your dick grow that don't do a goddamn thing. 1.00
01:38:39.000 There's stupid people out there that are cutting rhino horns off to make their cocks hard. 1.00
01:38:44.000 That doesn't work. 1.00
01:38:45.000 There's so much money in, like, enhancing sex.
01:38:49.000 And the number one thing to enhance sex, it just flies under the radar.
01:38:53.000 The one thing that works like a charm.
01:38:57.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00
01:38:57.000 If you are in love or you are in lust or you have someone that you like to fuck, how about that? 1.00
01:39:03.000 And that person likes you to fuck them? 1.00
01:39:04.000 Get together and smoke some pot before you do it. 1.00
01:39:06.000 Don't get crazy.
01:39:08.000 Don't smoke so much.
01:39:09.000 You're paranoid and you freak out and you can't get it up.
01:39:11.000 Just a little bit.
01:39:12.000 Just a little bit.
01:39:14.000 Every touch will feel more...
01:39:18.000 Spectacular.
01:39:19.000 You'll feel like electricity through fingers, the warmth of your bodies, the sensation will be so pleasurable. 1.00
01:39:27.000 People that don't smoke pot and fuck, you're missing out on a giant chunk of what sex is. 1.00
01:39:32.000 Yeah, or do it, you know, smoke and go touch a stranger. 1.00
01:39:35.000 Or do mushrooms.
01:39:36.000 You want to go deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep. 0.99
01:39:40.000 Have sex on mushrooms. 0.99
01:39:41.000 Never done that. 0.99
01:39:42.000 It's crazy.
01:39:42.000 It's like two kaleidoscopes.
01:39:44.000 It's hard to do.
01:39:45.000 Colliding.
01:39:46.000 It's hard to do?
01:39:46.000 It's really hard to do.
01:39:47.000 I thought, like, I was fucking this really tall girl once, and I was on mushrooms, and I thought she was an alien. 0.99
01:39:51.000 I was like, it just might, it just, because you start playing tricks on yourself. 0.95
01:39:55.000 Yeah, I don't want to do that.
01:39:56.000 You always play tricks on you and stuff.
01:39:57.000 I don't want to do that.
01:39:58.000 Don't.
01:39:59.000 Don't listen.
01:40:00.000 You won't think you're an alien.
01:40:02.000 Have you done it with my show?
01:40:03.000 You know your wife's not an alien.
01:40:04.000 It's crazy.
01:40:06.000 Yeah, look, obviously the way you get affected by mushrooms is different than the way I do.
01:40:10.000 I think everybody's different.
01:40:13.000 That's one of the weird things about psychedelics or pot or anything.
01:40:17.000 Yeah, it affects everybody.
01:40:17.000 Yeah, I've heard people talk about what pot does to them, and I'm like, okay, I don't know what's going on in your head, but that's not me.
01:40:23.000 It shuts me down.
01:40:24.000 I just don't want to talk to anybody or sit down.
01:40:26.000 It shuts me down.
01:40:28.000 All right.
01:40:29.000 Okay.
01:40:29.000 I don't get it, but everybody's got their own weird personality traits.
01:40:33.000 One strand that you, you know...
01:40:36.000 Well, I just think there's a lot of weird personality traits.
01:40:40.000 You know, there's a lot of weird biological traits.
01:40:43.000 People have a lot of different things going on.
01:40:45.000 It's like people with alcohol.
01:40:47.000 I mean, there's people that are the worst drunks ever, that are super nice people, and there's also people that they have a couple of drinks and they just become friendlier.
01:40:57.000 Nothing goes wrong at all.
01:40:58.000 I know.
01:40:58.000 It's really fascinating because I look back, there's friends that would want to punch me.
01:41:04.000 Not because I did something.
01:41:06.000 Every time they drank, they were physically violent people.
01:41:10.000 I'm like, Jesus Christ.
01:41:11.000 And then there's the person who's just hugging you, like, I love you, man.
01:41:15.000 You're like, They had the same amount of drinks, and this is the behavior that comes out.
01:41:20.000 It's too bad, almost.
01:41:21.000 It bums you out.
01:41:22.000 Like, oh man, you can't drink.
01:41:24.000 Really, we can't have you drinking.
01:41:26.000 Yeah.
01:41:27.000 And that's not...
01:41:28.000 Uncommon.
01:41:29.000 At all?
01:41:29.000 No, no.
01:41:30.000 It's probably like one out of a hundred people.
01:41:31.000 Yeah.
01:41:32.000 Less than that, I think.
01:41:33.000 I think less, yeah.
01:41:33.000 Yeah.
01:41:34.000 That's like a food allergy almost.
01:41:35.000 Mm-hmm.
01:41:37.000 Well, that was something that they, another thing that I had up on Twitter today that's pretty fascinating about food allergies.
01:41:42.000 They figured out a way to fix kids' allergies to peanuts.
01:41:48.000 Really?
01:41:48.000 The DNA of peanut-allergic kids changes with immune therapy, study finds.
01:41:54.000 Wow.
01:41:54.000 That's cool.
01:41:55.000 And this is on Science Daily.
01:41:56.000 So this is, again, not like a goofy website.
01:41:59.000 It's from Stanford.
01:42:00.000 And the idea is that treating a peanut allergy with oral immunotherapy changes the DNA of the patient's immune cells.
01:42:08.000 According to a new study, the DNA change could serve as the basis for a simple blood test to monitor long-term effectiveness of the allergy therapy.
01:42:18.000 That's pretty badass, man. 0.99
01:42:20.000 There's a lot of fucking foods that people are allergic to. 0.99
01:42:22.000 Some people are deathly allergic to shellfish. 1.00
01:42:25.000 We had that on Fear Factor.
01:42:27.000 This dude ate some roaches.
01:42:30.000 And roaches are, they have the same enzyme, apparently, as shellfish.
01:42:35.000 So if you're allergic to roaches, or you don't know, if you're allergic to shellfish, you're also allergic to roaches.
01:42:41.000 Really?
01:42:42.000 Yeah.
01:42:43.000 So this dude went into anaphylactic shock?
01:42:46.000 Well, his throat started closing up.
01:42:49.000 He was having a hard time breathing.
01:42:51.000 He was swelling.
01:42:52.000 That's what happens.
01:42:53.000 He knew he probably was a shellfish guy, but didn't think about the roach.
01:42:56.000 Well, we didn't know.
01:42:57.000 Nobody knew.
01:42:58.000 It was the early days of Fear Factor.
01:43:01.000 Wow.
01:43:02.000 Yeah.
01:43:03.000 That show is just so lucky that no one died.
01:43:06.000 Yeah.
01:43:07.000 So lucky.
01:43:08.000 That dude definitely could have if he didn't have right medics around, you know?
01:43:12.000 What are you guys doing over there?
01:43:13.000 What's going on?
01:43:15.000 70 bags of heroin found in Philip Seymour Hoffman's apartment.
01:43:19.000 Oh my god. 1.00
01:43:20.000 Poor fucker. 1.00
01:43:21.000 He just got back on it, right? 1.00
01:43:22.000 Like a couple years ago?
01:43:23.000 He was like really clean for like most of his life and then he just...
01:43:27.000 He had a problem a while ago.
01:43:29.000 Then he was cleaning for a while.
01:43:31.000 And then they talked about him going...
01:43:33.000 I remember reading about him going to get help, like, I want to say within the last year to do something, you know, like some type of rehab thing in the last year.
01:43:42.000 And then, yeah, that's really a bummer, man.
01:43:45.000 Well, the thing about him, too, is he died with a needle in his arm.
01:43:47.000 In his arm, yeah.
01:43:48.000 So he really overdid it.
01:43:50.000 Well, he just did it.
01:43:52.000 Yeah.
01:43:52.000 He's not the only one, either, that's dying.
01:43:54.000 Apparently, there's quite a few people who've died in the East Coast.
01:43:57.000 From heroin?
01:43:58.000 Recently.
01:43:59.000 Yeah, they're thinking there's a bad batch of heroin or a strong batch of heroin or something.
01:44:03.000 Wow.
01:44:04.000 He was so good. 1.00
01:44:05.000 Holy shit, was he a talented actor, that guy. 1.00
01:44:08.000 Man, unbelievable. 1.00
01:44:09.000 Boogie Nights.
01:44:09.000 Well, I think that some of the people that are able to encapsulate those incredible characters, they're able to fit themselves into those characters...
01:44:18.000 A lot of those people are fucking crazy, like Robert Downey Jr., you know, crazy, you know, would go off on wild benders and drugs. 0.83
01:44:26.000 There's a lot of those people that are, like, really good at acting that are sort of attracted to that. 1.00
01:44:30.000 To that chaos.
01:44:31.000 Yeah, or maybe it's just...
01:44:33.000 A part of what makes them a great actor.
01:44:36.000 Yeah, I think if you're a great, great actor, you have a sensitivity that's maybe heightened.
01:44:42.000 You're sensitive emotionally all around.
01:44:46.000 Sometimes when you're that sensitive, you can be drawn in certain other directions.
01:44:51.000 But Hoffman was just a genius actor. 1.00
01:44:54.000 Yeah, he was a bad motherfucker. 1.00
01:44:56.000 It's sad when you see a guy like that just succumb to their demons. 1.00
01:45:01.000 It really is too bad.
01:45:02.000 That's a weird one, too.
01:45:03.000 That heroin one's a weird one.
01:45:05.000 Because people are talking about legalizing all drugs, that all drugs should be legal.
01:45:10.000 And in a way, I support that.
01:45:12.000 But in another way, I'm like, it would suck to see more people do heroin.
01:45:18.000 It really would.
01:45:19.000 Crystal meth.
01:45:19.000 Because what I'm seeing now with pills, I've met several people.
01:45:23.000 I know several people.
01:45:24.000 I know one guy very well that died from pills.
01:45:27.000 I know one guy very close to my family who fucked up his entire life on pills, and he's still a mess, and he used to be a great guy, and he's just a wreck. 0.91
01:45:34.000 And it's all opiates. 0.98
01:45:36.000 All opiates.
01:45:37.000 You know? 1.00
01:45:37.000 And then you see this guy, and you go, like, fuck, man. 1.00
01:45:40.000 Like, if it was legal, would it be even more prevalent? 1.00
01:45:43.000 Like, I would hope not.
01:45:44.000 But, God, it's just...
01:45:46.000 I'm just anti-heroin.
01:45:49.000 I think heroin's a terrible drug to live your life with.
01:45:52.000 It just...
01:45:53.000 Yeah.
01:45:53.000 There's nobody, really, who's, like, doing well, thriving with heroin, you know?
01:45:59.000 The crazy thing is how long some people can function.
01:46:02.000 Yeah.
01:46:02.000 Yeah, and there's people that can function, and there's people that actually probably never get to the point where they're not able to function.
01:46:09.000 You know, there's people that can keep it in check, but I think for the most part, it just goes downhill for you.
01:46:16.000 Well, one of the problems with these pill people is that they're not even trying to get high.
01:46:20.000 They're trying to not be sick.
01:46:22.000 Right, because your body's craving it.
01:46:24.000 Yeah, you get so addicted to these opiate pills that your body is just trying to get to a base level.
01:46:31.000 It's not trying to get high as much as it's trying to get out of a deficit.
01:46:36.000 So you give it these pills and then you sort of feel normal for a while.
01:46:41.000 Yeah.
01:46:41.000 It's just so scary.
01:46:43.000 Yeah, it is.
01:46:43.000 I mean, I know somebody who had a bad drinking problem and would like, when it went into, you know, withdrawal, would drink never really to get drunk.
01:46:53.000 It was because he was such an alcoholic that, you know, he would drink just to not be shaking and sweating.
01:47:02.000 Yeah, that's one I don't understand because I've had many drinks.
01:47:07.000 I don't get the alcohol one.
01:47:09.000 I don't understand how that could be addictive to somebody.
01:47:14.000 But I do understand, obviously, because I've met many people who are addicted to it.
01:47:18.000 But just for me, it's just...
01:47:20.000 I don't understand it.
01:47:21.000 It just seems...
01:47:22.000 It's just so strange that their body is craving alcohol.
01:47:26.000 Like, it's not just an emotional thing.
01:47:29.000 I mean, they say that that's what happened with Amy Winehouse. 0.99
01:47:32.000 That she died from going cold turkey.
01:47:34.000 Really?
01:47:35.000 Yeah.
01:47:36.000 She only had alcohol in her system when she died.
01:47:38.000 She didn't have any drugs. 0.99
01:47:39.000 And her body just went into... 0.99
01:47:41.000 Yeah, they suspected she tried to quit drinking and it just sent her over the edge. 0.93
01:47:48.000 Yeah.
01:47:49.000 It happens.
01:47:49.000 I believe it, man.
01:47:50.000 I'm just glad I don't have that fucking... 1.00
01:47:53.000 That gene. 0.99
01:47:53.000 Yeah, or, you know, I mean, I've never... 0.99
01:47:56.000 I drink once.
01:47:58.000 If I drink once in a week and I have too many drinks, I'm like, man, I'm not drinking.
01:48:02.000 I don't drink again for weeks, man.
01:48:04.000 Really?
01:48:04.000 Yeah.
01:48:06.000 That's just my own makeup.
01:48:08.000 When you used to hang out more locally at comedy clubs every night, you used to probably go through that where you're at a club every single night.
01:48:14.000 Did you drink more back then?
01:48:15.000 Not really, because I never, I never, ever drink before sets.
01:48:19.000 So the most I ever did was drink after sets.
01:48:23.000 But if I was just doing spots and hanging out a little bit, I'd be more worried about, like, you know, I'd be worried about driving home.
01:48:28.000 So it wasn't a regular practice for me.
01:48:30.000 Like, I've just never been that big of a drinker, you know?
01:48:33.000 I mean, I'll have more drinks on the road.
01:48:36.000 But sometimes, a lot of times, I go to clubs.
01:48:39.000 And Saturday will be the first time I ask for a drink, and they'll all say, like, oh, we didn't know you drank.
01:48:44.000 And I'm like, what, were you talking about it?
01:48:46.000 And they're like, yeah, we thought it was so weird that you don't drink.
01:48:49.000 And I was like, no, I'm just done now, you know, so.
01:48:53.000 Yeah, alcohol is fun.
01:48:55.000 It's fun.
01:48:56.000 It's fun to drink.
01:48:56.000 It's fun to get drunk.
01:48:57.000 But the problem is the effect on your body is just so bad.
01:49:00.000 And Tommy and I have been talking about this because for the last two weeks I haven't drank.
01:49:04.000 I tried to see what it's like to have nothing.
01:49:07.000 I'd like a glass of wine with dinner on Friday night.
01:49:10.000 But one glass of wine, that's it.
01:49:11.000 No getting hammered.
01:49:13.000 No getting drunk.
01:49:13.000 No getting buzzed.
01:49:14.000 No nothing.
01:49:16.000 You feel remarkably better when Monday rolls around.
01:49:19.000 Remarkably.
01:49:20.000 So it's been two weeks in a row that I did this.
01:49:22.000 Like, my endurance is up.
01:49:23.000 I mean, it sounds so, duh.
01:49:25.000 You know, it sounds so obvious.
01:49:27.000 But you just think, if you're out at a comedy club, you're hanging out with your buddies, you want to do a shot? 1.00
01:49:32.000 Yeah, fuck it, let's do a shot. 1.00
01:49:33.000 Let's do another one. 1.00
01:49:34.000 Okay, let's have a beer.
01:49:35.000 Three or four drinks, you feel like it's nothing.
01:49:37.000 And it really is nothing.
01:49:38.000 But the difference between three or four drinks and no drinks is pretty significant in how much better you feel.
01:49:44.000 It's tremendously different.
01:49:45.000 I mean, a few weeks ago, I had a few drinks, and I really feel like it took me totally to recover, was like 48, 72 hours, to feel 100% better.
01:49:54.000 It was crazy.
01:49:55.000 It took like three days to feel that much better.
01:49:57.000 I never drink at home.
01:49:58.000 I only drink if I go out.
01:49:59.000 I never sit at home and open up a beer or anything.
01:50:03.000 Unless it's at night, and then the girls are about to go to bed, I need to have one more drink in her. 1.00
01:50:08.000 Oh, how dare you? 0.98
01:50:10.000 You know that's rape to a lot of feminists? 1.00
01:50:13.000 By the way. 0.97
01:50:13.000 Yeah. 0.97
01:50:14.000 Do you know that?
01:50:14.000 You're aware of that?
01:50:15.000 Yeah.
01:50:15.000 You're going to push that.
01:50:16.000 Mr. Connery. 0.95
01:50:17.000 You're going to shove that down your throat. 1.00
01:50:18.000 You're going to be a rapist. 1.00
01:50:19.000 Nightcoat. 1.00
01:50:20.000 But you know what's funny about that whole feminist thing is that they're saying that that works the other way around, too, with women and men. 0.99
01:50:25.000 That if the man is drunk and the woman is sober, the woman is raping the man. 0.97
01:50:27.000 I feel that way.
01:50:28.000 I 100% support that. 0.97
01:50:30.000 I've been raped. 0.95
01:50:31.000 They have to say that. 1.00
01:50:32.000 What's ridiculous is that they have to say that.
01:50:34.000 They can't say there's a double standard. 0.79
01:50:36.000 Right.
01:50:36.000 Nobody wants to admit there's double standards.
01:50:38.000 Right.
01:50:38.000 Double standards don't exist.
01:50:40.000 Especially in the super liberal, left-wing, progressive world.
01:50:44.000 It's the same on both sides.
01:50:46.000 So I was reading this book. 0.78
01:50:58.000 Yes, ladies, that is rape. 1.00
01:51:01.000 Like, what are you talking about? 1.00
01:51:02.000 The guy has a few drinks, he's buzzed, and he comes over and he wants to fuck, and you have sex with them, you're a rapist. 1.00
01:51:08.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:51:08.000 That is so fucking dumb, and so symptomatic, so, like, symbolic of, like, what's wrong with that sort of rigid, like, liberal thinking. 1.00
01:51:20.000 There are no double standard thinking. 1.00
01:51:23.000 I mean, one of the major differences is that in that situation, we are thrilled to be raped. 0.96
01:51:28.000 Right? 0.91
01:51:29.000 It's not rape! 1.00
01:51:30.000 It's not rape.
01:51:32.000 Whether the man has limited inhibitions or not, that man wants to have sex. 1.00
01:51:38.000 If a guy comes to your house, it's like if a guy goes to a bar, gets drunk, take a cab to your house, let's make it a responsible story, the guy takes a cab to your house and you throw him on the bed and fuck him. 1.00
01:51:49.000 That's not rape. 1.00
01:51:51.000 It's just not.
01:51:52.000 No.
01:51:52.000 It's just not.
01:51:53.000 It's just not.
01:51:54.000 And pretending that it is, because you don't want women to be taken advantage of, and they'll compare it to like Steubenville, like the girl who was, she was so drunk that she was unconscious and these guys raped her. 0.90
01:52:05.000 Oh yeah, it was horrible. 0.98
01:52:06.000 That's unbelievably horrible.
01:52:08.000 Yeah. 0.65
01:52:09.000 Unbelievably horrible and disgusting and it's a crime and it's evil. 0.99
01:52:13.000 Because saying that a man being drunk, having sex with a woman is that man being raped, diminishes the impact of what's horrible about something like Steubenville. 0.99
01:52:25.000 Right, a real rape. 1.00
01:52:25.000 Yeah, because you're being silly now. 1.00
01:52:27.000 You're saying something that is so preposterous that anyone with any logic... 0.99
01:52:33.000 Could immediately pick apart. 0.94
01:52:34.000 Anyone who's had any experience, anyone who's a man, by the way, who's a heterosexual man, who knows what it's like to have a couple of drinks and want to go have sex. 0.62
01:52:43.000 Like, the idea that that is somehow or another rape, because you went over someone who obviously you like, you obviously like this person, you most likely have had sex with them before, you go over to their house.
01:52:54.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:52:55.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00
01:52:56.000 I would even argue that if you're a man and you took a cab to that woman's house and she handcuffed you to a bed and blindfolded you and put a ball gag in your mouth and fucked you, that you also had a good time. 1.00
01:53:08.000 Like, it wasn't something that you were fighting, you know? 0.99
01:53:11.000 Or even if you wanted to. 1.00
01:53:12.000 Well, I'm not into getting tied up, so it's on you, fucker. 1.00
01:53:15.000 Tie me up. 1.00
01:53:16.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:53:17.000 Have you ever been in a situation where you felt rape, like you had a girl in your bed and you didn't want to have sex with her? 1.00
01:53:22.000 You have a girl in your bed. 1.00
01:53:22.000 You're a man, you have a girl in your bed. 1.00
01:53:24.000 What are you doing?
01:53:25.000 Like, if you're a man, you have a girl in your bed. 1.00
01:53:27.000 What kind of stupid game are you playing? 1.00
01:53:29.000 Cannot right now. 1.00
01:53:30.000 Don't rape me. 0.89
01:53:31.000 I just don't feel good about our relationship yet. 1.00
01:53:33.000 Shut up. 0.99
01:53:34.000 If you're a grown adult, you're not a ten-year-old. 1.00
01:53:37.000 You're not someone who's confused about biology and about sexuality and about, you know, stimulation and attractedness. 1.00
01:53:45.000 No, you're a fucking adult. 1.00
01:53:47.000 You can't get raped. 1.00
01:53:49.000 Can't get raped by a girl. 1.00
01:53:50.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00
01:53:51.000 Brian could.
01:53:51.000 It's one thing if you like...
01:53:53.000 Brian could.
01:53:53.000 The only thing that can be really crazy is if, okay, here's a scenario.
01:53:57.000 Some sort of a survival situation where you're fleeing the country and you have your friend's wife with you and you have to stay in a hotel together because there's only enough money for one hotel room and just going to get some sleep and then get on the road. 1.00
01:54:12.000 You're like, I'll sleep on the floor, you take the bed, and then while you're sleeping, you wake up and she's sucking your dick. 1.00
01:54:16.000 You're like, okay, you just fucking ruined my life. 1.00
01:54:19.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00
01:54:19.000 You ruined my life by being crazy and sucking my dick while I'm sleeping. 1.00
01:54:22.000 Hey, you know, you're kind of raping me. 1.00
01:54:24.000 Stop. 1.00
01:54:24.000 Stop it. 1.00
01:54:25.000 I wouldn't have said yes for you sucking my dick if I was awake. 1.00
01:54:27.000 Wait, wait a couple minutes, now stop it. 1.00
01:54:31.000 That is probably one of the very few scenarios that I could see where there could be argued that a woman rapes a guy.
01:54:38.000 Yeah.
01:54:40.000 What's the one?
01:54:41.000 It's a single white female. 1.00
01:54:43.000 They kind of have that scenario.
01:54:44.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:54:45.000 Where a girl pretends to be someone else. 0.91
01:54:46.000 And she tries to pretend, and he's like, what's going on?
01:54:48.000 She's like, blah, blah, blah. 1.00
01:54:49.000 She's just choking on his cock. 1.00
01:54:51.000 And then he's like, it's not even you. 1.00
01:54:52.000 So he got duped, right? 0.79
01:54:53.000 That's another one that's kind of rapey. 0.54
01:54:55.000 Yeah, that's kind of rapey.
01:54:57.000 But still finished, and we'll talk about it.
01:55:03.000 But a woman being drunk... 1.00
01:55:05.000 Is always rape. 0.85
01:55:06.000 If the woman's drunk, they want that to be rape. 1.00
01:55:09.000 They want it...
01:55:10.000 I mean, obviously, there's a broad spectrum of intoxication.
01:55:15.000 You know?
01:55:16.000 Like, one drink?
01:55:17.000 Two drinks?
01:55:18.000 Three drinks?
01:55:18.000 Four drinks?
01:55:19.000 Like, one drink is...
01:55:20.000 You can make good decisions on one drink.
01:55:23.000 You can.
01:55:23.000 But you're drinking.
01:55:24.000 Two drinks, you can still make really good decisions on drinks.
01:55:27.000 But you're drinking. 1.00
01:55:28.000 So, like, if you have sex with someone who can make good decisions and it's two drinks in, the idea that you say that's rape, you're a crazy person. 1.00
01:55:35.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:55:35.000 You're a crazy person. 1.00
01:55:36.000 You're a person who's dangerous because you're fucking up the whole idea and argument, the whole conversation about alcohol intoxication. 1.00
01:55:44.000 You're ruining it by being unreasonable. 1.00
01:55:46.000 By taking this hard, rigid stance, you diminish the effect of something like Steubenville, where they are getting someone so fucked up and taking advantage of someone who's so fucked up. 0.97
01:55:57.000 Yeah, and the way to kind of state your position is, are you going to look at those two and say they're equivalent? 0.98
01:56:03.000 If you say they're equivalent, then okay, I guess we have your point of view on the severity of each of them. 0.75
01:56:11.000 But I think a reasonable person looks at those and you realize that they're not, so it's kind of ridiculous. 0.66
01:56:15.000 Well, it's a completely illogical stance to take.
01:56:18.000 That it's an on and off switch.
01:56:20.000 It's either on, there's an alcohol drink in the system, it's that way, it's rape. 0.99
01:56:26.000 There's no alcohol, it's not rape.
01:56:28.000 Same act.
01:56:29.000 Same act, yeah. 0.99
01:56:29.000 It's ridiculous. 0.99
01:56:30.000 It's clear that there's a certain point where someone is unable to make clear decisions. 1.00
01:56:36.000 They're fucked up. 1.00
01:56:37.000 They're intoxicated. 1.00
01:56:38.000 But where that lies is very blurry.
01:56:42.000 And it's different for every person.
01:56:43.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:56:44.000 And some, not some girls, goddammit, a lot of girls like to get drunk and get fucked. 1.00
01:56:48.000 They like to have sex with people they want to have sex with when they have a few drinks. 1.00
01:56:52.000 They like it a lot. 0.99
01:56:54.000 So the idea that people say that that's rape because of whatever, because you want to push this ridiculous progressive agenda and this idea that anyone having a couple of drinks is somehow or another so incapacitated that they're like a child,
01:57:10.000 like we have to protect them.
01:57:12.000 Yeah, I guess they're not making the distinction that there's a difference between a woman choosing to have drinks and go have sex and a woman who has had too many drinks and someone is taking advantage of her.
01:57:27.000 I mean, they're two totally different things.
01:57:29.000 Well, not only that, there's also the woman and the man.
01:57:32.000 If they're both drinking, then what happens?
01:57:34.000 The woman is almost always in the clear. 0.81
01:57:37.000 No one is accusing her. 0.96
01:57:38.000 No one's saying, you know, this woman raped me. 1.00
01:57:40.000 We had drinks together and she raped me. 0.99
01:57:42.000 How many drinks did you have, too? 0.99
01:57:43.000 How many drinks did she have, too? 1.00
01:57:45.000 Yeah, man, she raped you. 1.00
01:57:46.000 No one says that! 1.00
01:57:47.000 Right.
01:57:47.000 But they do say it to the guy.
01:57:49.000 They would say it to the guy. 0.87
01:57:50.000 And the girl could say, oh, I got too drunk to consent, and then, you know, Tumblr talk, progressive think, everybody's like, oh, it is rape to have sex with someone who's drinking. 0.92
01:57:58.000 No, no, it's rape sometimes to have sex with someone who's drinking. 0.73
01:58:02.000 To say that you're not responsible for your own actions sexually, but you are when you're driving a car, you are when, you know, you assault someone, you know, you're responsible. 0.99
01:58:11.000 If you kick someone's ass and hurt them, and you're like, I'm so sorry, I was drunk. 0.99
01:58:15.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:58:15.000 You're responsible for that. 1.00
01:58:17.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:58:17.000 You are fucking responsible for your actions. 0.99
01:58:19.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:58:19.000 But you're not sexually. 0.99
01:58:21.000 You know, if your girlfriend comes home and she's hammered and she beats the fuck out of you and hits you over the head with a hammer and you go to the hospital, your fucking head's gashed open. 1.00
01:58:29.000 She can't say, I was drinking. 1.00
01:58:31.000 Yeah.
01:58:31.000 So I'm not responsible for that violence.
01:58:33.000 But if she comes over your house and she's drunk and she fucks you, Then you're a rapist, because you didn't take into account the fact that she's not responsible for our actions, because she's had a couple of drinks. 0.99
01:58:47.000 It's madness! 1.00
01:58:48.000 That's total madness.
01:58:49.000 It's so illogical, and they're so rigid on this because they want to support 100% women and women's rights and the idea of not supporting rape culture, the idea of diminishing rape in society.
01:59:01.000 But by being so rigid and by being preposterous and illogical, you ruin the whole discussion because we're on your side.
01:59:10.000 You and I are 100% on their side as far as someone being drunk and you take advantage of that person.
01:59:17.000 Right. 0.98
01:59:17.000 That's disgusting. 0.98
01:59:18.000 What they're trying to say is that there is no scale.
01:59:21.000 Exactly.
01:59:21.000 It's just, it's black and white.
01:59:22.000 It's black and white.
01:59:23.000 And you can't say that because you ruin the whole discussion.
01:59:25.000 Right. 1.00
01:59:26.000 You ruin it because we all know, most of us know, people who like to drink and fuck. 1.00
01:59:31.000 It's so common. 1.00
01:59:32.000 Yeah.
01:59:33.000 It's so normal.
01:59:34.000 They drink to get frisky.
01:59:36.000 People are married!
01:59:37.000 They drink and they start making out, and it's great.
01:59:40.000 It's not bad.
01:59:41.000 They loosen the inhibitions.
01:59:44.000 It's not bad. 1.00
01:59:45.000 The idea that alcohol is bad across the board for everybody is fucking stupid. 1.00
01:59:51.000 It's stupid, yeah. 1.00
01:59:52.000 It's stupid. 1.00
01:59:53.000 It's just bad for your body. 1.00
01:59:55.000 That's the only thing you can prove, for sure, that's bad for your body.
01:59:58.000 It's just one of those weird things, man.
02:00:01.000 Where people who are intelligent, who have good intentions, and there's good meaning behind what they're trying to do, they fuck it all up with their ego, and they fuck it all up with their rigid thinking, and they fuck it all up because they're not being open and objective about the entire discussion of the situation.
02:00:17.000 Yeah, it's the same thing, I feel like, with judging people as black and white. 0.66
02:00:22.000 I feel like most people are more complicated and have varying degrees of good and bad.
02:00:29.000 They're a complicated species.
02:00:31.000 You could easily put generalizations.
02:00:34.000 There was a generalization...
02:00:36.000 Someone was talking about stand-up comics, and they were saying that comedy clubs are filled with angry men, and that's what comedy clubs are.
02:00:43.000 That's a giant generalization.
02:00:45.000 What if Sarah Silverman and Eliza Schlesinger are on stage?
02:00:49.000 There's still angry men that are... 0.96
02:00:51.000 No, it's silly. 0.98
02:00:52.000 It's silly. 0.96
02:00:53.000 Some comedians are angry men. 0.77
02:00:55.000 So are some mechanics. 1.00
02:00:57.000 So are some fucking bouncers. 1.00
02:00:59.000 Some people that work in finance, they're angry men. 1.00
02:01:04.000 Some of them aren't. 1.00
02:01:06.000 Generalizations are fucking stupid. 1.00
02:01:07.000 They're gross. 1.00
02:01:08.000 It's so funny because when I hear those things, I always think of comics that I know... 0.90
02:01:13.000 What always pops in my mind is just silliness.
02:01:16.000 I think of all the goofy, silly kind of... 0.83
02:01:21.000 Well, us, hanging out on the weekend. 0.62
02:01:23.000 What do we do?
02:01:24.000 We're laughing all the time.
02:01:25.000 We're laughing 90% of the time. 0.99
02:01:27.000 We're not angry at shit. 0.98
02:01:30.000 Look, we all know dudes who are, but we all know an equal or greater amount of dudes who aren't. 0.97
02:01:37.000 Like Norton, we're hanging out with Norton all weekend. 0.98
02:01:39.000 Norton's fucking great. 0.98
02:01:40.000 He's not angry. 0.99
02:01:41.000 He comes off fake angry for jokes, for funny.
02:01:45.000 But he's filled with humility.
02:01:48.000 He's a very self-objective guy.
02:01:51.000 He's always being introspective and talking about the way he behaves, the way he thinks.
02:01:57.000 He's always criticizing himself.
02:02:01.000 The idea that he's this angry guy.
02:02:04.000 I was going to say that is that people also assume that...
02:02:08.000 They'll say the anger with respect to, like, somebody doing something on stage, and they'll have no idea that that person's not like that offstage, that that's a heightened, you know, version of themselves for their act.
02:02:21.000 For humor.
02:02:22.000 Yeah, it's for humor, of course.
02:02:23.000 It's like, you know, like, Brian Holtzman, who's one of my favorite comedians, and for some, whatever reason, just never really caught on with people.
02:02:31.000 He used to, his whole act was this angry man... 0.99
02:02:35.000 Who would say cruel, evil shit, and we would be dying laughing. 0.98
02:02:39.000 Because he's not like that at all. 1.00
02:02:41.000 If you talk to Holtzman offstage, he's laughing, he's shaking people's hands.
02:02:44.000 Hey, how are you?
02:02:45.000 What's going on?
02:02:46.000 Good to see you.
02:02:46.000 Hey, good time up there.
02:02:47.000 You were really funny.
02:02:48.000 He's a funny guy.
02:02:50.000 But then he would do this character onstage where it was just like...
02:02:53.000 Like, Susan Smith, when she drowned her kids, he was like, I heard those were bad kids.
02:02:58.000 I heard those kids sat that close to the TV. They didn't pull away their blocks.
02:03:02.000 They were always spilling their milk. 1.00
02:03:03.000 Those fucking kids would not be missed. 1.00
02:03:05.000 And it was so horrible, but so funny. 1.00
02:03:09.000 You had to be there to see it happen when the tension was in the room, because it was like two weeks after that woman drowned her kids, you know?
02:03:16.000 That's a hilarious position to take.
02:03:18.000 I heard those kids were bad.
02:03:20.000 That's how he says it. 1.00
02:03:22.000 They always fucking spilt their milk. 1.00
02:03:23.000 They didn't put away their blocks. 1.00
02:03:25.000 They sat that close to the TV. Those kids would not be missed.
02:03:28.000 And the way he would say it was just so fucking... 0.97
02:03:31.000 The key, too, in those types of jokes is that you can never pull back on it. 0.97
02:03:35.000 Once you say it, you gotta go all in.
02:03:38.000 Like, no, they were really bad kids.
02:03:39.000 I'm telling you, I know.
02:03:41.000 You have to believe what you're saying.
02:03:44.000 Yeah.
02:03:45.000 And it's not real.
02:03:46.000 No, of course not. 0.99
02:03:47.000 That's the whole fucking... 0.99
02:03:48.000 That's why we know we can laugh at it. 0.99
02:03:51.000 It's a real issue with progressives, this idea that you're going to silence that kind of thinking and talking.
02:03:57.000 You know, silence those kind of jokes.
02:04:00.000 And I see the point.
02:04:01.000 I see that you're trying to make a kinder, gentler world for people to live in, but...
02:04:06.000 I really feel like concentrating on jokes is a bad idea.
02:04:10.000 It is.
02:04:11.000 It ruins the whole idea of trying to make people, or at least diminishes the whole idea, of trying to make people nice in real life when they really mean it and really care.
02:04:21.000 Because you're not focusing on that.
02:04:23.000 Instead, you're focusing on when they don't mean it and they're joking around.
02:04:27.000 And the idea that somehow or another that joking around fuels the actual act...
02:04:32.000 The actual act of violence or the actual act of rape or the actual act of anything evil or mean because joking around about it somehow or another gives a green light? 0.98
02:04:43.000 That's such a silly idea. 0.99
02:04:45.000 That's so silly. 0.97
02:04:46.000 If you have a problem with rape or if you have a problem with violence, if you have a problem with assaults, do something that remedies the root cause of that, and you'll find that it's not jokes. 0.97
02:04:57.000 It's not stand-up.
02:04:58.000 Nobody who watched a comedy show was inspired to go rape somebody. 1.00
02:05:02.000 The idea behind that is fucking ridiculous. 1.00
02:05:04.000 The idea that it gives a green light. 1.00
02:05:06.000 You watch a comedy show, and someone talks about beating the shit out of people. 0.99
02:05:09.000 It gives a green light to go out and beat the shit out of people. 1.00
02:05:11.000 That's... 0.99
02:05:12.000 No, that's a defective person if that's the case. 1.00
02:05:14.000 Yeah, a person's out of their fucking mind. 0.99
02:05:16.000 You can't make your art only for defective people. 1.00
02:05:19.000 It's fucking stupid. 1.00
02:05:20.000 It is. 1.00
02:05:21.000 But it's a lot of that progressive mindset, this progressive black and white mindset, this left-wing liberal mindset that it ruins those discussions.
02:05:31.000 Right.
02:05:31.000 Because, yeah, we do need to be nicer to each other.
02:05:34.000 Fucking yeah, for sure, we need less racism. 0.97
02:05:37.000 Absolutely, we need less sexism. 0.99
02:05:39.000 Absolutely, we need less assault.
02:05:41.000 We need less rape. 1.00
02:05:42.000 We need less violence.
02:05:43.000 We need less road rage.
02:05:45.000 We need less everything all across the board.
02:05:47.000 We need less of that.
02:05:48.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:05:49.000 But we're on your side and you're making us look like there's something wrong with us because we want to drink and fuck. 0.99
02:05:56.000 You're making us look like there's something wrong with us because we enjoy a ridiculous joke that someone doesn't really mean, that's really cruel and nasty. 0.99
02:06:03.000 Yeah. 0.98
02:06:04.000 Yeah, if you really think that comedy is the problem, you're just going to make yourself look ridiculous.
02:06:14.000 You're going to get very few people that agree with your point of view.
02:06:17.000 Just get people to stop talking about anything that could be offensive.
02:06:21.000 And you're just going to end up not making the progress you were wishing for.
02:06:25.000 Yeah, and the idea of trigger warnings.
02:06:28.000 What's trigger warnings?
02:06:29.000 When people write blogs, like super progressive people, when they write blogs, if they talk about rape or anything, violence or crime, they will put trigger warning in there.
02:06:40.000 A trigger warning to let you know that something horrible is coming up.
02:06:45.000 And it might trigger post-traumatic stress.
02:06:48.000 Really?
02:06:48.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:06:49.000 Say if you got beat up and robbed and someone's writing about a robbery, they'll put trigger warning in the title or trigger warning in the thing and then explain what they're talking about so that you get warned that they're going to talk about assault or you get warned that they're going to talk about rape or sexual aggression or whatever the fuck it is. 0.99
02:07:08.000 Jesus. 0.99
02:07:09.000 Trigger warning.
02:07:09.000 Trigger warning.
02:07:10.000 It's a fascinating aspect of our society that you want to protect people From just even thinking about something that might have happened to them that's bad.
02:07:19.000 It might upset you.
02:07:20.000 Yeah, so that subject, whatever that subject is, is either off limits or severely limited because of the fact that someone actually has been victimized in real life. 0.91
02:07:28.000 That's kind of really ridiculous to me. 0.96
02:07:30.000 Yeah, it's ridiculous. 0.91
02:07:31.000 Well, I mean, because you don't get trigger warnings when you're not doing it. 1.00
02:07:35.000 Aside from reading that fucking blog... 0.99
02:07:37.000 There's no trigger warnings on signs when you walk down the street. 0.99
02:07:40.000 There's no trigger warnings that when you have a conversation with somebody who you might not know well, they're not going to be like, real quick, in a moment, I'm going to bring up fighting.
02:07:48.000 Just giving you a heads up.
02:07:49.000 Wouldn't trigger warnings be a trigger warning?
02:07:51.000 Like, wouldn't you think about rape if you give a trigger warning?
02:07:55.000 Well, no, it wouldn't be a trigger warning, but it would certainly be a trigger.
02:07:58.000 Right.
02:07:58.000 And, you know, every movie, essentially, every violent movie is a trigger to people who have experienced violence.
02:08:04.000 Of course. 0.98
02:08:05.000 Every fucking television show on crime, which almost all of them are. 0.99
02:08:09.000 I mean, what percentage of television shows, dramas are on crime? 0.99
02:08:13.000 What percentage was Chicago Police or CSI or this or CSI Miami, New York, CSI The Moon?
02:08:20.000 There's... 0.99
02:08:20.000 Fucking 100 Law and Orders. 0.99
02:08:22.000 They're all on crime. 0.99
02:08:24.000 If you've experienced any violent crime in your life, you know it's a horrible, horrific, traumatic event.
02:08:30.000 Post-traumatic stress from crime victims is huge.
02:08:33.000 Yet every show on television that's a drama, like a huge percentage of them, it's probably like 30% of all nighttime dramas are based on crime.
02:08:46.000 Violent crime.
02:08:47.000 Murders.
02:08:48.000 Dude, violence is so, it's so crazy when you watch shows and they have violent scenes, you know? 0.99
02:08:57.000 The edited version has the violent fucking, like, a guy's getting his head fucking blown off. 0.99
02:09:03.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:09:03.000 And then they'll be like, that's right, fudge you. 0.99
02:09:05.000 And you're like, they just bleeped, fuck. 1.00
02:09:08.000 Ooh! 1.00
02:09:08.000 You know, because we can't handle hearing that. 1.00
02:09:11.000 I'm tired of this hogwash.
02:09:13.000 And you're like, what?
02:09:14.000 That's what he said?
02:09:14.000 No, he said something else.
02:09:15.000 But we can't handle that. 1.00
02:09:17.000 But we did see him pull out a 12-gauge and blow the guy's fucking guts all over the place. 0.98
02:09:22.000 Well, how about The Walking Dead? 0.99
02:09:23.000 Watch The Walking Dead. 0.78
02:09:24.000 The Walking Dead, they're cutting people's heads off. 0.96
02:09:26.000 They're blowing people's heads up with guns. 1.00
02:09:29.000 But they never say fuck. 1.00
02:09:31.000 Never say fuck. 1.00
02:09:33.000 It's so ridiculous. 1.00
02:09:34.000 And I bet you, you know, you can't also... 1.00
02:09:35.000 God forbid they show a woman's breast. 1.00
02:09:39.000 That would make your head. 0.93
02:09:40.000 No, you can't do that. 0.99
02:09:40.000 No pussies at all. 0.99
02:09:42.000 Don't show me where the babies come from or where the babies are made. 0.99
02:09:45.000 Can't handle it.
02:09:45.000 But you can show me a lady with a samurai sword who cuts people in half.
02:09:49.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:09:49.000 She kills regular people, too. 0.99
02:09:51.000 She doesn't just kill zombies. 1.00
02:09:52.000 She kills regular people. 1.00
02:09:52.000 A bunch of the people kill regular people. 1.00
02:09:54.000 They've killed a bunch of regular people on that show.
02:09:56.000 It's fine.
02:09:56.000 It's fun.
02:09:57.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:09:58.000 I can't handle hearing shit. 1.00
02:10:00.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00
02:10:01.000 We're weird. 1.00
02:10:02.000 So weird. 1.00
02:10:03.000 What a stupid culture. 1.00
02:10:05.000 You know what I can't stop thinking about? 1.00
02:10:07.000 The guy that farted at the sink.
02:10:13.000 The airport.
02:10:14.000 We talked about it for 10 minutes afterwards. 0.84
02:10:16.000 Well, dudes fart when they pee. 0.87
02:10:18.000 When you go to the bathroom, dudes are constantly farting.
02:10:20.000 In public restrooms. 1.00
02:10:21.000 Yeah, but we were at the sink, and the dude was washing his hands, and he caught a monster fart. 0.63
02:10:26.000 And I told Tommy about it, and I was like, dude, this guy, he broke the rules.
02:10:32.000 Yeah, I walked out just before this happened.
02:10:33.000 I unfortunately missed the incident, but you said it immediately.
02:10:37.000 And I kept wrapping my head around it, and I think what I've come to the conclusion is Is that if you do that, all I'm looking for is for you to acknowledge it.
02:10:45.000 Yeah.
02:10:45.000 Oops.
02:10:46.000 Yeah.
02:10:46.000 You need to say something.
02:10:47.000 Yeah.
02:10:48.000 I want you to say something about that.
02:10:50.000 Because I was thinking about how an old guy one time farted next to me on a tram in the airport. 0.94
02:10:59.000 And I was like, geez, he let a fucking pretty big fart. 0.98
02:11:02.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:11:02.000 And I looked at him and he goes, snuck out of me. 0.99
02:11:04.000 And I was like, alright.
02:11:05.000 And it kind of took away what was upsetting him.
02:11:10.000 I was like, well thank you for acknowledging your fart right now. 0.95
02:11:13.000 Yeah, this guy was just washing his hands and he just...
02:11:16.000 The sink is not the urine.
02:11:17.000 I don't think he'd get a pass there.
02:11:19.000 Yeah, it was...
02:11:19.000 I don't even do the urinal.
02:11:21.000 Who does that?
02:11:22.000 Do you?
02:11:22.000 It was definitely a gray area.
02:11:24.000 It was definitely a gray area.
02:11:24.000 Yeah.
02:11:25.000 People fart all the time at the urinals.
02:11:26.000 That's so common.
02:11:27.000 Yeah, I heard a lot of farts at urinals.
02:11:28.000 But if you get done, zip up, walk all the way around, you wash your hands, in the middle of washing hands, you just unload.
02:11:36.000 And no one said a word.
02:11:37.000 Everyone just let it go.
02:11:40.000 And then we got outside, and I was like, yo, dude, how do you feel about this?
02:11:43.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:11:44.000 Yeah.
02:11:44.000 I can't stop thinking about it.
02:11:46.000 And then we're trying to figure out what kind of farts girls cut when they're in the bathroom and whether or not they wash their hands and fart on each other. 1.00
02:11:52.000 Probably not as much.
02:11:53.000 Not as much, but they definitely drop heat in there.
02:11:55.000 For sure.
02:11:56.000 Well, once they close that door, I think they allow themselves.
02:11:58.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:11:59.000 They allow themselves to fucking fart it up. 1.00
02:12:01.000 Mm. 1.00
02:12:03.000 Yeah.
02:12:04.000 You know?
02:12:04.000 They let them rip.
02:12:05.000 Yeah.
02:12:06.000 Once they get in that door, they close that door, they just...
02:12:08.000 You have to. 1.00
02:12:09.000 If you're taking a shit, you're going to fart. 1.00
02:12:12.000 But I wonder if they fart while they're washing their hands. 1.00
02:12:14.000 These are the things that I think of.
02:12:15.000 Yeah, absolutely.
02:12:16.000 I wonder about what we need more of this in the world. 1.00
02:12:19.000 Do you mask your farts when you shit in a public restaurant? 1.00
02:12:22.000 No. 1.00
02:12:22.000 No. 1.00
02:12:22.000 Let it out. 1.00
02:12:23.000 You got to do what you do.
02:12:24.000 What do you hold up to the camera? 0.97
02:12:24.000 I love girl farts. 0.97
02:12:26.000 You're an idiot. 1.00
02:12:28.000 Jesus Christ, you have that on your phone? 1.00
02:12:29.000 Yeah. 0.94
02:12:30.000 I love girl farts? 0.99
02:12:31.000 Yeah. 0.91
02:12:31.000 40 year old man, he's got that on his phone. 0.91
02:12:36.000 It's a huge fetish now.
02:12:38.000 It's actually a website.
02:12:39.000 It is.
02:12:39.000 It's amazing.
02:12:40.000 It's always been.
02:12:41.000 Yeah, it's amazing. 1.00
02:12:42.000 There's been fart porn forever where dudes like sniff farts right out of a girl's ass. 1.00
02:12:46.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:12:47.000 They're naughty.
02:12:48.000 We played some fart clips on our show and we were talking about it and the guy wrote in and he was like, I have a big time fart fetish.
02:12:57.000 And we were like, what's the thinking about it?
02:12:59.000 And he was like, I think it's just back to the taboo of it that the pretty girl is not supposed to.
02:13:04.000 So he's...
02:13:05.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
02:13:06.000 Yeah, that she's being a dirty girl. 1.00
02:13:08.000 Yes, and that's what we love. 0.95
02:13:09.000 And he loves, you know, a pretty girl doing it is like the ultimate thing.
02:13:12.000 Yeah, that's the thing about people is like they want people to be naughty.
02:13:15.000 Right.
02:13:16.000 Just because we feel so, most people at least, feel so confined by the rules.
02:13:20.000 And I think women so, even more so than men.
02:13:23.000 Women even more so than men because, you know, society wants you to be a lady. 1.00
02:13:27.000 Yeah, behave a certain way, sure. 0.97
02:13:29.000 You know, and there's slut shaming. 1.00
02:13:30.000 You're not allowed to be a slut. 1.00
02:13:31.000 You're not allowed to do what you want to do. 1.00
02:13:33.000 You know, like if a woman wants to go out and fuck a bunch of different guys, like if a woman wants to fuck two guys in a night, she's a terrible person. 1.00
02:13:41.000 Sure. 1.00
02:13:41.000 Like, if you find out about that, oh my god, she went to this guy's house, she fucked him, then she left, then she went to this other guy's house and fucked him. 1.00
02:13:48.000 What a whore. 1.00
02:13:49.000 National champion. 1.00
02:13:50.000 Like, girls would be like, what a whore. 1.00
02:13:51.000 But if you told me, so he decides, he leaves this girl's house, and he's like, you know what, fuck, I can call somebody else. 1.00
02:13:58.000 He calls somebody else, and he goes and fucks her, and we're like, ah! 1.00
02:14:01.000 That guy's an animal. 1.00
02:14:02.000 It wasn't even done? 1.00
02:14:04.000 He wanted to fuck more? 1.00
02:14:05.000 That guy's crazy. 1.00
02:14:06.000 That is crazy, though, that we don't, you know, that we have that double standard for that. 0.61
02:14:10.000 I mean, I remember...
02:14:11.000 In college, a guy, a friend, going into a sorority house and banging girls in the same house on the same night in different rooms.
02:14:20.000 And, like, yeah, we all were like, that's fantastic!
02:14:22.000 You're such a hero.
02:14:23.000 Like, you're such a wonderful person.
02:14:25.000 And, like, we were all so happy with his story. 0.99
02:14:28.000 But if a girl went to a fraternity house, fucked one guy, said goodnight, honey, left, and then knocked on the door, hey, cracker man? 1.00
02:14:34.000 She's fucking out of her mind. 1.00
02:14:36.000 Dirty bitch, you fucking whore. 1.00
02:14:38.000 But we really should applaud her. 1.00
02:14:39.000 I mean...
02:14:40.000 Well, or not.
02:14:41.000 Either way, we should let her do whatever she wants to do. 1.00
02:14:44.000 She's just fucking people. 1.00
02:14:46.000 What do you care? 1.00
02:14:47.000 Are they going to stay together forever?
02:14:48.000 They're in college.
02:14:49.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00
02:14:51.000 If you have a problem with a girl who fucks one guy and then fucks another guy that night, you're silly. 1.00
02:14:54.000 Yeah, you are. 1.00
02:14:56.000 You could be one of those guys. 1.00
02:14:58.000 All you gotta do is throw your dick in front of her. 1.00
02:14:59.000 Obviously she likes him. 1.00
02:15:00.000 So that suppression leads to a reaction.
02:15:05.000 Just holding back leads to this need to let it go.
02:15:09.000 And the girl just farts right in that dude's face. 1.00
02:15:13.000 Guy's like, I can't believe you did that, you dirty bitch. 1.00
02:15:16.000 I'm a dirty, farty bitch. 1.00
02:15:17.000 I'm a farty bitch. 1.00
02:15:19.000 Fart my mouth again. 1.00
02:15:21.000 It's so funny the people that own this I Love Girl farts are actually watching right now.
02:15:26.000 Don't promote that. 1.00
02:15:28.000 So stupid. 1.00
02:15:29.000 Oh my gosh, that snuck out of me. 1.00
02:15:32.000 I'm a bad girl. 0.99
02:15:35.000 The smell and the fucking noise and the whole thing. 1.00
02:15:40.000 The naughtiness of it all. 1.00
02:15:41.000 We hold it in.
02:15:43.000 Boston girls farting? 0.99
02:15:44.000 We have a thing about people shitting, too. 1.00
02:15:48.000 No one wants to admit they just took a shit. 1.00
02:15:50.000 We want to hide it and cover it up with noise and fans. 0.99
02:15:54.000 We want to light matches.
02:15:56.000 Yeah, it is weird. 0.99
02:15:58.000 I mean, I don't like those single-stall unisex bathrooms when you've got to shit. 1.00
02:16:04.000 I've got to shit. 1.00
02:16:04.000 And then someone's like, you're going in there? 1.00
02:16:06.000 And you're like, ah, fuck, man. 1.00
02:16:08.000 Why don't you go in first? 1.00
02:16:10.000 No, you're going to shit on top of me. 1.00
02:16:11.000 No, I know. 0.99
02:16:12.000 But you get that, you know, like, I feel like I can't relax.
02:16:15.000 Or you can say, can I please use the restroom?
02:16:17.000 Like, if you're at a meeting.
02:16:19.000 If you're having a meeting or something like that, you can say, I'll be right back after you use the restroom. 1.00
02:16:22.000 But you can't say, look, I gotta shit. 1.00
02:16:24.000 I gotta shit. 1.00
02:16:24.000 I can't keep talking to you guys. 1.00
02:16:25.000 I gotta take a shit. 1.00
02:16:26.000 You say, I use the restroom. 0.99
02:16:27.000 It's ambiguous.
02:16:28.000 Okay, go ahead.
02:16:29.000 And you leave.
02:16:30.000 You know, you can't say, I'm so sorry.
02:16:32.000 I was late for this meeting. 0.99
02:16:33.000 I got here on time, but I had to shit. 1.00
02:16:35.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:16:35.000 Right, right. 1.00
02:16:36.000 You can't say that.
02:16:37.000 No.
02:16:37.000 You gotta be upset.
02:16:38.000 You gotta go to the restroom, and then you know that the clock's running. 1.00
02:16:41.000 So, because if you come back 15 minutes later covered in sweat, they're like, wow, you took a monster shit, huh? 0.99
02:16:46.000 Like, you can't really put that out there. 1.00
02:16:49.000 You gotta go, fuck, now I gotta grind this thing out quick. 0.99
02:16:51.000 And sometimes that's what you have to do. 1.00
02:16:53.000 Sometimes you have to take a 10-minute heater.
02:16:55.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:16:55.000 Like, sometimes you just, you take a shit and it comes out clump, clump, and you're like, God, there's a lot more up there. 0.99
02:17:00.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:17:00.000 God damn it. 1.00
02:17:01.000 Happened on the flight yesterday. 1.00
02:17:02.000 Oh, no. 0.99
02:17:03.000 As soon as I sat down, I wanted to go to sleep, and I was like, I gotta take a shit. 0.99
02:17:06.000 And it was during takeoff, so then you're waiting for it to hit 10,000 feet, and then you're waiting for them to turn the seatbelt sign off. 1.00
02:17:14.000 And I go in there, and I'm like, this is gonna be, this is like a fucking marathon shit. 0.99
02:17:20.000 Oh, no. 0.99
02:17:20.000 But I didn't have time for it, so I really dropped half of it off just so I could fall asleep. 0.99
02:17:24.000 Oh no.
02:17:25.000 Yeah, and then later on I finished.
02:17:28.000 It was pretty dramatic. 0.99
02:17:29.000 It's one of the weird things about your body is that there's like this intangible sense of how much shit is in there. 0.99
02:17:35.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:17:36.000 You know, like, when you're taking a shit, like, you have that feeling, that weird feeling, like, I smell a shit, or I feel a shit brewing. 1.00
02:17:43.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00
02:17:43.000 I feel a shit cooking in the oven. 1.00
02:17:45.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:17:45.000 And then once you're taking that shit, you got this pressure thing. 1.00
02:17:48.000 Like, you know it's in there. 1.00
02:17:49.000 Yeah.
02:17:49.000 You know it's up there, and there's a certain amount.
02:17:52.000 Like, goddammit, this isn't ready.
02:17:53.000 This isn't done. 0.76
02:17:54.000 This isn't ready, yeah.
02:17:55.000 All right.
02:17:55.000 I'm going to have to empty it, and then I'll have to come back later.
02:17:58.000 Yeah, and that's the worst.
02:18:00.000 You like when it's all gone. 1.00
02:18:02.000 Certain foods, too, will trigger just amazing amounts of shit that come out of you, where you're just like, is my body mostly shit? 1.00
02:18:11.000 Like, am I just a walking, talking shit machine? 1.00
02:18:14.000 Because sometimes... 1.00
02:18:17.000 The amount that will come out of me is just incredible to me.
02:18:21.000 I cannot get over what's coming out of me.
02:18:23.000 If you think about how much food you eat, though, think of your entire day. 0.99
02:18:28.000 If you shit once a day, think about breakfast in there, and then lunch in there, And then your dinner in there. 0.99
02:18:34.000 Like this giant mound of food that goes into your body. 1.00
02:18:37.000 And then snack, like you might have a protein bar along the way.
02:18:40.000 And then you have all this, you drink thing.
02:18:42.000 You might drink milk, which has got some solids in there.
02:18:44.000 And then slowly but surely compress that into just logs. 1.00
02:18:50.000 Big ropey shit logs. 0.99
02:18:52.000 It's amazing it's not really bigger. 1.00
02:18:53.000 Now picture a pretty girl squatting over your face and letting that all over you. 1.00
02:18:57.000 Yeah!
02:18:59.000 Well, that's under glass.
02:19:02.000 Big thing for some guys. 0.99
02:19:05.000 Some guys like women shitting on glass coffee tables. 1.00
02:19:09.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:19:10.000 I've always heard that about Stallone.
02:19:12.000 That was like one of those rumors.
02:19:14.000 Probably made up.
02:19:14.000 It's probably like the Richard Gere gerbil thing.
02:19:16.000 Yeah.
02:19:16.000 Someone decided to say it, and then it sounds cool, so people repeat it.
02:19:21.000 Yeah, well, Stallone likes to get on the tables, and girls take big, juicy shits on those tables. 1.00
02:19:27.000 He loves it. 1.00
02:19:28.000 He doesn't even want to fuck them. 1.00
02:19:29.000 He just wants them to shit. 1.00
02:19:30.000 I'd like to watch people shit over a glass table just to see it come out. 1.00
02:19:34.000 Maybe once. 1.00
02:19:35.000 Really?
02:19:35.000 Sure.
02:19:36.000 What about a guy like Joey Diaz?
02:19:37.000 I think that's the one.
02:19:38.000 That would be at the top of my list.
02:19:39.000 What if he fell and landed on a table and the table shattered and you died?
02:19:43.000 That'd be horrible. 1.00
02:19:44.000 Glass went through your neck, shit was in your eyeballs, and you died knowing that shit was all over your face and feeling the hot blood rush out of your neck. 1.00
02:19:51.000 Wow. 1.00
02:19:52.000 Sorry, dog.
02:19:53.000 Sorry, dog.
02:19:53.000 I slipped.
02:19:54.000 Whoops.
02:19:55.000 I had too much sodium. 0.99
02:19:56.000 I think that it would be much more interesting to watch Diaz shit than some model. 1.00
02:20:00.000 I'd like to see him have explosive diarrhea on a glass table. 1.00
02:20:03.000 Well, I would like to see a girl who's, like, addicted to stimulants, like, who's trying to be really skinny, and just how little she actually shits in a day. 1.00
02:20:11.000 Just the hair comes out.
02:20:12.000 Probably shocking to see, like, little tiny poops. 0.60
02:20:15.000 Curly, squirrely turd comes out.
02:20:17.000 Slightly bile, little yellow smell to it.
02:20:20.000 Like, what's going on?
02:20:21.000 Sorry, that's a big one.
02:20:22.000 Do you eat anything?
02:20:23.000 No. 1.00
02:20:24.000 Half of her shit is pills. 1.00
02:20:28.000 Half broken pills come out? 1.00
02:20:30.000 Yeah, like non-dissolved pills in little clumps.
02:20:34.000 Yeah, but I mean, it would be fun to watch a couple times.
02:20:37.000 Maybe watch?
02:20:38.000 I don't know about fun, but maybe fascinating.
02:20:41.000 Yeah, fascinating.
02:20:42.000 I think as an art exhibit, we were talking about art a lot this weekend, it'd be great to set up a live exhibit.
02:20:47.000 I've always thought of this, where you have like 10 people... 0.97
02:20:50.000 50 feet up, and they're butt naked, and they have different body types, and they're sitting on glass toilets with glass tubes coming down, and then the exhibit is you walk around and they all shit at the same time. 0.92
02:21:03.000 Like, that'd be kind of a fun... 0.99
02:21:04.000 And they flush it, and you see these glass tubes fill up with shit and come tumbling down. 0.99
02:21:09.000 Yeah! 0.99
02:21:09.000 And then you go... 0.99
02:21:10.000 Into a septic at the bottom, a giant large tank filled with shit. 1.00
02:21:14.000 That's all glass. 0.99
02:21:15.000 And you have different colored hair, and you're like, this is my creation.
02:21:19.000 If you wanted to buy this, it's $15 million.
02:21:23.000 We were talking with this dude who explained to us this weekend about how...
02:21:29.000 We were talking about expensive photography.
02:21:32.000 Because we saw this really expensive photography piece.
02:21:35.000 And he was talking about the scam or the strategy involved in high-powered, high-priced artwork.
02:21:42.000 And that what sometimes what a dealer will do is they get a bunch of people that are really into art.
02:21:49.000 And what they'll do is they'll seed these houses with people's art.
02:21:55.000 You're breathing to the mic. 0.98
02:21:56.000 It's freaking me the fuck out. 1.00
02:21:57.000 One of you motherfuckers. 1.00
02:22:01.000 Is it you? 1.00
02:22:01.000 Might be you, buddy. 1.00
02:22:02.000 Really?
02:22:03.000 Yeah, I heard it several times.
02:22:04.000 Over here.
02:22:05.000 You're freaking me out.
02:22:08.000 Anyway, the guy said...
02:22:09.000 These things pick up a lot.
02:22:11.000 Eddie Bravo was the worst.
02:22:12.000 He was like...
02:22:13.000 Oh, yeah.
02:22:14.000 I forgot about that.
02:22:15.000 I'm like, Eddie, you hear that?
02:22:16.000 I didn't even hear that.
02:22:17.000 You don't hear that?
02:22:18.000 People hear it. 1.00
02:22:19.000 Fucking weirdo. 1.00
02:22:20.000 Anyway. 1.00
02:22:22.000 Right.
02:22:42.000 Oh, amazing.
02:22:43.000 Thank you so much.
02:22:43.000 And so then this gets around to these people that are in this small community of people who buy expensive art.
02:22:50.000 Where'd you get that?
02:22:51.000 Oh, it's a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
02:22:53.000 You know, the Sebring Gallery actually gifted it to me because I buy a lot of pieces from them.
02:22:59.000 He's actually putting on an exhibit next month.
02:23:01.000 Oh, amazing.
02:23:01.000 And then so they'll seed these plugs.
02:23:03.000 They'll send like four or five pieces off.
02:23:06.000 Right.
02:23:07.000 It could be an unknown guy who doesn't have a price point really yet.
02:23:10.000 Exactly.
02:23:11.000 But he's talented.
02:23:12.000 And so that's how they sort of stimulate the environment.
02:23:15.000 And what he said in his words, create heat.
02:23:18.000 And so then they'll have a gallery exhibit and this guy's work will be up.
02:23:22.000 And it's really good work.
02:23:23.000 But people are already bought into it because, oh, Rothschild has a piece.
02:23:30.000 Above his bed that's worth $50,000.
02:23:33.000 It's amazing.
02:23:33.000 Well, the best part I was fascinated with is that if they get that out there, they cede the stuff to these important people, and then they make sure that the people that were gifted show up to the gallery so that when other people with money are there,
02:23:49.000 that person's like, yeah, I have one of those. 0.95
02:23:52.000 And they're like, oh shit, you have one of those? 0.99
02:23:53.000 It's weird, right? 0.99
02:23:54.000 Yeah, I want one of those too.
02:23:56.000 It's very strange, man.
02:23:58.000 Yeah, and it's kind of the fear, I think, the base of the fear.
02:24:04.000 Yeah, yeah, as we talked about this, Exit Through the Gift Shop is exactly kind of the same mentality where the guy who was documenting Banksy was like, I'll be an artist.
02:24:16.000 Now he still is.
02:24:17.000 Yeah, yeah, and he makes crazy money, and there's no history of him, there's no origin of work being built.
02:24:26.000 It was just one day, it was like, here's a bunch of work, here's an overwhelming amount of work that I kind of didn't really create, and then everybody was willing to...
02:24:35.000 Yeah, but you can do that.
02:24:36.000 They marketed it.
02:24:37.000 It's really interesting, man.
02:24:38.000 You can do that.
02:24:39.000 You can set people up.
02:24:41.000 I mean, it's the hype machine.
02:24:43.000 It's like, okay, how many times have there been a Comedy Central special, and you'll see the Comedy Central special coming up, and they'll have a bunch of people that are...
02:24:56.000 Yeah.
02:24:59.000 Yeah.
02:25:09.000 Yeah.
02:25:18.000 Movies are big in that. 1.00
02:25:19.000 Fuck yeah, they are. 1.00
02:25:21.000 Of course. 1.00
02:25:21.000 The whole critics thing, the whole, like, the funniest thing I've seen this year. 1.00
02:25:25.000 Mm-hmm.
02:25:26.000 New shows, five stars, blah, blah, blah.
02:25:29.000 This guy, that guy.
02:25:29.000 This critic said, I've never, ever had such a good time.
02:25:33.000 Wow.
02:25:34.000 We had a good time.
02:25:35.000 And you know there's some dudes, when it comes to movies, that you could just always count on. 0.99
02:25:40.000 There's some dudes that are just bullshitters. 0.99
02:25:42.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
02:25:43.000 It's a big bullshit business. 1.00
02:25:44.000 They just love shitty movies. 1.00
02:25:46.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:25:47.000 And then there's some other dudes, like, they'll criticize films.
02:25:49.000 Like, Roger Ebert was a famous guy.
02:25:52.000 Like, people would be, like, really upset at some of the movies that he criticized.
02:25:56.000 Yeah.
02:25:56.000 The way he criticized them.
02:25:58.000 Yeah, people put so much into his critiques of films.
02:26:02.000 I never was really...
02:26:03.000 I read a number of them.
02:26:06.000 I remember...
02:26:07.000 I don't remember which one, but I remember disagreeing on some stuff that he liked.
02:26:11.000 And I was like, whoa.
02:26:12.000 And I don't have a problem with that.
02:26:14.000 I just feel like...
02:26:17.000 I really feel like everybody is a critic.
02:26:19.000 We all get to say what we like and don't like.
02:26:22.000 And if you can find somebody that you line up a lot with their beliefs, that might be the person for you to trust.
02:26:28.000 But if it's not, then I don't give him really any more...
02:26:36.000 We're good to go.
02:26:55.000 And there's some pretty eloquent reviews by people who don't do it for a living.
02:26:59.000 I've read many reviews that people, like, you know, they have those Rotten Tomato reviews. 0.95
02:27:05.000 Some of those Rotten Tomato reviews are really fucking good, man. 0.93
02:27:08.000 They're really concise. 0.96
02:27:09.000 And they're just regular folks.
02:27:10.000 It's a person who enjoys the movie or didn't enjoy the movie and said, here's what I think about this.
02:27:15.000 I think that that site is a better indicator because it gathers, you know, basically averages out, you know?
02:27:23.000 So if a lot of people that watch movies say this is awesome, there's a pretty good chance it's going to be a pretty decent movie. 0.94
02:27:29.000 If they all say this is fucking garbage, it's not very likely that's a good movie. 0.90
02:27:35.000 Yeah, but when you take professional reviewers, or professional reviewers, how can you be someone who just... 0.99
02:27:42.000 Your art is reviewing other people's art.
02:27:45.000 Because that's essentially your contribution.
02:27:47.000 Your contribution is reviewing other people's art. 1.00
02:27:49.000 Yeah, who the fuck are you? 0.99
02:27:50.000 And then you find out that Ebert actually wrote his own script. 1.00
02:27:53.000 He made dog shit. 1.00
02:27:54.000 He made a dog shit movie. 1.00
02:27:55.000 He wrote and he directed a piece of fucking garbage. 1.00
02:27:58.000 So he failed at the thing that he was praised for being a critic of. 1.00
02:28:02.000 Valley of the Dolls, right?
02:28:03.000 Yeah.
02:28:03.000 I don't know.
02:28:05.000 Yeah, it was supposed to be unbelievably bad. 1.00
02:28:08.000 You suck at it. 1.00
02:28:09.000 It's sexy though. 0.99
02:28:10.000 It's like having the best, like the most respected comedy critic was like one of the worst stand-ups of all time.
02:28:17.000 Exactly.
02:28:18.000 That's exactly what it's like. 0.99
02:28:19.000 But a guy who never got out of open mic nights was fucking terrible. 0.99
02:28:23.000 But everyone's like, he knows fucking stand-ups. 0.99
02:28:25.000 And you know, he would say, here's the problem with Tom Segura's last special. 0.99
02:28:29.000 Tom has this, you know, pendantic way of distributing his jokes. 1.00
02:28:33.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00
02:28:34.000 Fucking heck. 1.00
02:28:35.000 Yeah, it's exactly that. 0.99
02:28:37.000 Yeah, it is.
02:28:37.000 Well, the idea of being a critic, too.
02:28:39.000 There's only one reason why people become critics.
02:28:42.000 It's because they don't have anything to contribute. 0.98
02:28:46.000 There's no critics that are critics because, you know, I'm brilliant at writing books, and I'm amazing at doing paintings and art, but what I really like to do is judge other people's shit. 0.97
02:28:56.000 That's my favorite thing. 0.90
02:28:57.000 No, they usually want to be authors.
02:28:59.000 They want to be screenwriters.
02:29:01.000 They want to be someone who's doing that thing, but they don't have it in them.
02:29:05.000 So they become a critic.
02:29:06.000 That's one of the beautiful things about things like Rotten Tomatoes.
02:29:09.000 They're just regular people.
02:29:10.000 They don't have to write a review of this.
02:29:13.000 They write a review of it because they're inspired to.
02:29:16.000 Right.
02:29:17.000 Which is probably like how we should treat artwork.
02:29:21.000 We should look at people's, you know, you look at an average, you know, oh, Rotten Tomatoes gave it 80%.
02:29:26.000 And then you look at the reviews, you go, okay, I see what this guy's saying.
02:29:30.000 Without giving away too much, here's what I didn't like.
02:29:32.000 Without giving away too much, here's what I liked.
02:29:34.000 Yeah.
02:29:36.000 Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.
02:29:37.000 Yeah, I think it was the sequel and he co-wrote it.
02:29:40.000 But I remember seeing it.
02:29:41.000 It was, you know, sexy. 0.96
02:29:42.000 There was a lot of sex in it, a lot of hot chicks and stuff. 1.00
02:29:45.000 But yeah, it's a total stupid stoner 70s movie. 1.00
02:29:48.000 We should watch it and get really high and do commentator. 1.00
02:29:51.000 Absolutely.
02:29:51.000 Carry on it.
02:29:52.000 Russ Myers, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.
02:29:55.000 So this is a movie that he wrote?
02:29:56.000 He co-wrote.
02:29:58.000 It was...
02:30:00.000 Co-written with Roger Ebert for 20th Century Fox.
02:30:02.000 See, you can't criticize that, though.
02:30:04.000 Because unless you know who the other person is, and unless you know what Roger's contributions were, you know? 0.97
02:30:10.000 I mean, he was a part of a dogshit movie, but I've been a part of dogshit shows. 0.99
02:30:14.000 You know, there's a lot of those things that we did on The Man Show that were dogshit. 0.97
02:30:18.000 But if you know about the behind-the-scenes struggles to even get dogshit made, you'd realize how difficult it is to have something represent what you wanted to do.
02:30:28.000 Especially if it was like his first movie he tried to make.
02:30:30.000 Who knows how many people were involved in this?
02:30:32.000 Who knows how high on coke the producers were? 0.99
02:30:34.000 Who knows how fucking crazy the actors were? 0.99
02:30:37.000 Who knows? 0.99
02:30:38.000 It's so hard to tell.
02:30:39.000 And even if you read like his copy of the script, who knows how much editorial control he had on it, over it.
02:30:45.000 Who knows what the studio decided they wanted added or removed.
02:30:51.000 It's hard.
02:30:52.000 Unless you read their individual work.
02:30:55.000 If you write a blog entry and you wrote it all by yourself, now I know that's your work.
02:31:00.000 I know your work.
02:31:01.000 Right.
02:31:01.000 But a show?
02:31:03.000 Something like the Jessel Neck Offensive.
02:31:05.000 How much control do you think they had?
02:31:07.000 How much input did Comedy Central have?
02:31:11.000 How much input did the producers have?
02:31:12.000 Right.
02:31:13.000 Yeah, I don't know.
02:31:14.000 The standards and practice people say, you can't say this, you can't say that, change it to this, and that waters it down, but it's good enough, let's do it anyway.
02:31:21.000 Right.
02:31:21.000 Who knows, you know?
02:31:23.000 I don't know why I chose the Jessel Necronism, but I did. 1.00
02:31:26.000 Yeah.
02:31:27.000 You know.
02:31:28.000 You imagine this as a representation of what he wants, but you don't know that he's actually, I mean, getting on exactly what he wants all the time, right?
02:31:37.000 Yeah, which is the beautiful thing about podcasts and the beautiful thing about stand-up is you don't have to have something in it that you don't like.
02:31:43.000 Yeah, it could be exactly what you want.
02:31:45.000 It's a limited amount of people who are involved.
02:31:48.000 The smaller the number, the purer the vision or the purer the product of what you're doing from one source...
02:31:56.000 It's weird when you get like giant groups of people that are like All voting and deciding on what should be on a movie.
02:32:03.000 Putting their input on how a TV show should be.
02:32:06.000 What the monologue should be.
02:32:08.000 It's not going to work.
02:32:09.000 You can't have that.
02:32:10.000 The only way those things work is if you have...
02:32:12.000 The less people, the better.
02:32:14.000 That's why the things that don't have...
02:32:17.000 Directors who really prove themselves and talent that really proves themselves can get...
02:32:22.000 They have that power of less and less notes.
02:32:24.000 That's why that work is a lot of times better. 0.97
02:32:26.000 People aren't telling really Tarantino You gotta change all this shit now. 0.78
02:32:31.000 He's putting the movie out there that he wants to put out there. 0.93
02:32:34.000 Yeah.
02:32:35.000 That's why it's good.
02:32:37.000 South Park, perfect example.
02:32:38.000 Yeah.
02:32:39.000 It's really Trey Parker. 0.97
02:32:40.000 It's one fucking guy, and Matt Stone is involved in it as well, and all the writers are involved as well, but without having this one guy, if you've watched that one-hour thing that they did, what was it called? 0.97
02:32:52.000 The Countdown to... 0.99
02:32:54.000 Seven Days to Air.
02:32:55.000 Really fascinating.
02:32:57.000 Really?
02:32:57.000 Yeah, really fascinating because you get to see his process, the creative process, how many other people input things and what's involved in the creating of things.
02:33:07.000 But their show is so successful and so awesome that Comedy Central just leaves it alone.
02:33:12.000 It's so great, man.
02:33:13.000 They just back away.
02:33:14.000 Yeah.
02:33:15.000 As is The Daily Show.
02:33:16.000 The same sort of situation. 0.99
02:33:17.000 They don't fuck with that. 0.99
02:33:17.000 They don't fuck with it. 0.99
02:33:18.000 They just leave it alone. 0.99
02:33:19.000 And then Louis has that famous deal where he just takes less money and he delivers an episode.
02:33:25.000 They don't even know the episode.
02:33:27.000 Beautiful.
02:33:28.000 He just drops it.
02:33:28.000 Here's the episode.
02:33:29.000 It's the best way.
02:33:30.000 Well, look.
02:33:31.000 When you've got a guy who's as talented as Louis...
02:33:33.000 If you want him on your network, the best way to get him on your network is to get him.
02:33:37.000 Let him do it.
02:33:38.000 Let him do it.
02:33:39.000 They're smart enough to get out of their own way.
02:33:41.000 It's a beautiful thing that they figured out to do that with him.
02:33:44.000 Just step back, get out of their own way, and let him do it.
02:33:47.000 And unfortunately, I feel like a lot of entertainment would be a lot better if they would embrace that a little bit more.
02:33:54.000 There's so many people giving their input.
02:33:57.000 On television.
02:33:58.000 I mean, people would die if they realized the amount of people telling you to do things and cut things out in TV. It's crazy.
02:34:05.000 Yeah.
02:34:06.000 It's just...
02:34:07.000 It's hard.
02:34:09.000 It's hard to get things done.
02:34:12.000 On a network, you know, because every spot that they have is valuable.
02:34:17.000 Every slot, every 30-minute slot, especially during prime time, it's extremely valuable.
02:34:24.000 It's worth so much to have those things there that they have to be real careful because if it's a hit, they can make so much money in advertising.
02:34:32.000 If you have a new Chappelle show and it becomes a new cultural icon sort of a thing, oh my God, it's worth money.
02:34:39.000 So much money. 0.99
02:34:39.000 So because of that, these non-creative fucking people get involved in the creative process to try to optimize money. 0.99
02:34:45.000 Fuck that all up, man. 1.00
02:34:48.000 That's the one you want to walk away from and leave alone the most. 1.00
02:34:51.000 When we did Opie and Anthony on Friday, they were talking about that, about radio being sort of ruined because of all this input that now...
02:35:00.000 All these restrictions, you can't just be wild anymore.
02:35:04.000 You can't just do what you actually want to do, say what you actually want to say.
02:35:07.000 You've got to worry about being suspended.
02:35:08.000 You've got to worry about being fined.
02:35:10.000 Even on satellite radio, they were still fined.
02:35:14.000 Yeah, and they have taboo topics like, just don't even bring this up ever.
02:35:19.000 Yeah.
02:35:19.000 I mean, they took a hiatus from satellite for a while, but they were still on regular radio.
02:35:25.000 Yeah, that's so bananas.
02:35:27.000 And the hiatus was because they had some crazy homeless guy get on and say he wanted to rape, who was it, the Blackwood Condoleezza Rice? 0.90
02:35:36.000 Oh, right. 1.00
02:35:37.000 There's some crazy homeless guy saying a bunch of nutty shit. 0.99
02:35:40.000 And because of that, they got, I'm pretty sure they got suspended from satellite, but they were allowed to be on regular radio. 0.99
02:35:48.000 That doesn't even happen.
02:35:49.000 Wasn't that, let's see, Opie and Anthony suspended from satellite radio.
02:35:52.000 I know that the Playboy radio on Sirius Radio, which is now, I think, Vivid Radio, they used to have, up to like a month ago, they had these rules that you weren't allowed to talk about incest, you weren't allowed to talk about drugs, including marijuana, you weren't allowed to talk about all this shit, and it's like, wait, this is Playboy radio,
02:36:07.000 and you can't talk about marijuana?
02:36:09.000 Yeah, XM suspended them for 30 days. 0.97
02:36:12.000 Yeah, that's ridiculous.
02:36:13.000 Can't talk about marijuana on Playboy Radio? 1.00
02:36:15.000 What the fuck? 1.00
02:36:16.000 What fucking stupid shit is that? 1.00
02:36:19.000 That's so dumb. 1.00
02:36:20.000 So they were on censored radio while they were suspended from uncensored radio. 1.00
02:36:26.000 That's so crazy.
02:36:28.000 For something someone else said.
02:36:29.000 That's so crazy.
02:36:31.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:36:31.000 Well, it's more idiotic thinking. 1.00
02:36:34.000 There's a lot of idiotic thinking out there. 1.00
02:36:36.000 But, you know, it's also... 1.00
02:36:37.000 Let's be honest. 1.00
02:36:38.000 It's idiotic to have some fucking homeless guy on saying he wants to rape Condoleezza Rice. 1.00
02:36:42.000 Like, what you should do is say, don't do that anymore because it's stupid and gross. 1.00
02:36:46.000 That guy's nasty. 1.00
02:36:47.000 Like, why do you have this fucked up, mentally ill person in your studio saying stupid shit like that? 1.00
02:36:53.000 Like, that's not good. 1.00
02:36:54.000 Right.
02:36:55.000 But it's...
02:36:56.000 Suspending them for that?
02:36:58.000 Yeah, just don't do that again.
02:36:59.000 The people should let them know that they don't like that. 0.98
02:37:03.000 Like, hey man, that was fucking gross. 1.00
02:37:05.000 Why you got this guy saying he's going to rape some woman? 1.00
02:37:08.000 Some woman who works in the White House? 1.00
02:37:09.000 That's crazy.
02:37:11.000 How long were they suspended for?
02:37:12.000 30 days.
02:37:14.000 If it wasn't for them, though, I would have never done this.
02:37:17.000 You know, and we'd never done it this way either.
02:37:19.000 Because every other show that I ever did, every other radio show that I ever did, was always like real structured.
02:37:25.000 Like you would go in there, they would have their bits, they would have their news guy that would interrupt every 15 minutes, they would do their traffic thing, they had all this stuff that you had to go through and do.
02:37:34.000 But when you do Opie and Anthony, you would just sit there and hang out with them.
02:37:37.000 It was just a loose, open, hang conversation.
02:37:41.000 And it was so much more fun to do that way. 0.98
02:37:44.000 And I remember doing it thinking, God damn, this is the way to do it. 0.99
02:37:48.000 Why don't they fucking do this on every radio show? 0.99
02:37:50.000 You still will sometimes, every once in a while... 0.98
02:37:53.000 We'll stop in and do radio somewhere else, right?
02:37:56.000 In a certain town, will you still give them aside from O&A or no?
02:38:00.000 I think I do O&A and Kevin& Bean regularly.
02:38:06.000 Sometimes I'll call in to another station, but there's not that many of them anymore.
02:38:11.000 These disc jockeys have been all choked out.
02:38:14.000 They've been choked out by Jack TV or Jack Radio.
02:38:17.000 All right, all the pre-programmed stuff.
02:38:20.000 I tell you, that Jack Radio is pretty sweet, though.
02:38:22.000 Have you ever listened to it before?
02:38:23.000 It's just music.
02:38:24.000 There's no DJs anymore is the point.
02:38:26.000 There's no radio personalities in the point.
02:38:29.000 So those morning radio shows are all just choked out.
02:38:32.000 Some radio is so, so goddamn awful to do stuff. 1.00
02:38:34.000 Yeah, but if you want good music and you don't want To listen to fucking idiots babble, which is a lot of what you get on those morning shows. 1.00
02:38:44.000 Yeah, something like Jack is great. 1.00
02:38:45.000 Oh, yeah.
02:38:46.000 No, I'm saying some of it is so...
02:38:48.000 The guys doing morning shows, some of them are still so bad.
02:38:52.000 They're dinosaurs.
02:38:53.000 Yeah.
02:38:54.000 They're done.
02:38:55.000 That whole style only existed when there was a small amount of people that were allowed to broadcast.
02:38:59.000 Yeah.
02:39:00.000 You know, and then when the restrictions came down and they had to be as generic and as politician-like as possible, you got this top 40 nonsense where you have people who talk like this.
02:39:11.000 Our next guest, you know, you're talking in some weird fake robot voice.
02:39:16.000 You're plugging into this system and doing, you know, what's expected of you and there's no individuality to it.
02:39:23.000 There's no uniqueness to it.
02:39:26.000 It's too restrictive an environment for creativity. 0.91
02:39:30.000 That's why when a guy like Howard Stern came along, it was just like he blew the roof off of the business because all of a sudden a guy came along that wasn't scared to take on controversial stances, to say outrageous shit, to say really funny things, 0.82
02:39:47.000 and to try to entertain people in this really bold and crazy way. 0.86
02:39:50.000 Yeah.
02:39:52.000 And attack other people who are his competitors.
02:39:54.000 Like, openly attack them. 0.99
02:39:56.000 Like, who the fuck ever did that? 0.99
02:39:57.000 Yeah, that was also a strategy I didn't know. 0.99
02:40:00.000 But it was like, when he was new in a market, a radio guy was telling me that, like, if he came into a new market, the first thing he would always do is attack that guy's show so that, like, he was playing in a new city and the former number one show...
02:40:18.000 Would be being made fun of on Howard's show, so that listeners would be like, oh shit, he's making fun of this guy, and create that buzz in that new city, right?
02:40:28.000 It creates drama in the new city, and then people are either saying, you know what, he's right, this show is fucking lame that we've been listening to, or he would pull the people that were going to like him anyways from that new city, and then either it worked out or it didn't. 1.00
02:40:44.000 And it's low fruit anyway because a lot of them really do suck. 0.98
02:40:48.000 So it's easy to do. 0.99
02:40:49.000 You just go in there and jack them.
02:40:50.000 Just pointing out the obvious.
02:40:53.000 He would play their show on his show.
02:40:56.000 Well, Opie and Anthony does that, too.
02:40:58.000 They do that, too, yeah.
02:40:58.000 What they do is they were doing Jocktober.
02:41:03.000 So throughout the month of October, they were like really corny, shitty radio shows. 0.74
02:41:09.000 They would highlight them, play them, and then just destroy them. 0.96
02:41:12.000 Oh, my God.
02:41:13.000 And Anthony is so good at like destroying things.
02:41:18.000 And so is Norton.
02:41:19.000 Yeah.
02:41:19.000 And so they would play these radio and pause them and just crush them and just go off on them for like 10 minutes and then come back to them and let them play some more and then crush them some more.
02:41:29.000 Imagine how brutal, like if you're that guy and you hear that, it's so fucking terrible.
02:41:33.000 You find out that ONA got a hold of your radio show today for Jocktober and then the pests get a hold of you. 0.98
02:41:38.000 Oh, God. 1.00
02:41:39.000 Because the ONA pests are fucking savages. 1.00
02:41:43.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:41:43.000 They're animals. 1.00
02:41:45.000 Those huge, huge O&A fans.
02:41:46.000 Oh, yeah.
02:41:47.000 Just listen religiously every day.
02:41:49.000 When they decide to go after somebody, they'll torture you on Twitter. 1.00
02:41:53.000 They'll torture your fucking Facebook page. 1.00
02:41:55.000 Holy shit. 1.00
02:41:56.000 They'll fucking attack you. 1.00
02:41:57.000 They'll attack you, as will the Stern fans. 1.00
02:41:59.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:42:00.000 I mean, imagine you have your little radio show. 1.00
02:42:03.000 In Des Moines, and then you get home in your fucking mailbox. 1.00
02:42:06.000 You're like, what's all this fucking hate mail? 0.99
02:42:08.000 Yeah, which is one thing that I wanted to bring up. 0.98
02:42:11.000 We won the Stitcher Award for the best overall podcast.
02:42:15.000 And, you know, agree or disagree, that's all good.
02:42:19.000 But someone from some...
02:42:23.000 I'm not even going to bother mentioning because I think it was actually someone who was like one of the sound guys from the podcast told people to do this, told people to send some hate our way.
02:42:31.000 And I got all these fucking angry people on Twitter that were angry that this other show didn't win. 0.99
02:42:38.000 And, look, you know, first of all, I think contests are stupid, okay? 1.00
02:42:44.000 I'm glad that people like the show, but I don't give a fuck if we won a contest. 1.00
02:42:49.000 I think contests are dumb as fuck. 0.99
02:42:50.000 I've never asked to win a contest. 1.00
02:42:52.000 It's nice that people acknowledge that they enjoy it.
02:42:55.000 I like that. 1.00
02:42:56.000 But if you're going after someone else for winning something, and somehow or another, you know, you think it takes away from the show that you like, you're a fucking idiot. 1.00
02:43:07.000 Is this a bigger show? 1.00
02:43:08.000 No, no. 0.99
02:43:10.000 I've never even heard of them until this wave of fucking hate started coming my way. 0.99
02:43:14.000 That's super lame. 1.00
02:43:15.000 And just reading it, it was like, this is so stupid. 1.00
02:43:18.000 You don't have to like a show, but if you're mad that your show didn't win and another show did, you're a fucking dunce to just go out and push a bunch of hate. 1.00
02:43:27.000 All that means is that the show that you represent, the show that you like... 1.00
02:43:32.000 It has a bunch of assholes for fans. 0.99
02:43:33.000 I don't know why that is. 0.99
02:43:35.000 I don't know who's responsible for that, but it's so unnecessary.
02:43:39.000 I mean, we live in 2014. We, on this podcast especially, As a rule, support other people.
02:43:47.000 As a rule.
02:43:48.000 I'm constantly telling people about other podcasts that I love, whether it's Hardcore History with Dan Carlin or whether it's Danielle Belele, Danielle Belele's podcast or Tom Segura's podcast or whether it's anybody, Joey Diaz, Ari Shafir,
02:44:04.000 we constantly promote people's podcasts when they come on.
02:44:07.000 When Cara Santa Maria was on here the other day, I was telling her, start a podcast.
02:44:11.000 You should do a podcast.
02:44:12.000 Yeah.
02:44:13.000 And if somehow or another you like her podcast more than you like my podcast, good!
02:44:17.000 That means you like something. 0.99
02:44:19.000 I don't give a fuck. 0.99
02:44:20.000 There's plenty of people in this world. 1.00
02:44:22.000 There's 300 million fucking people in this country alone. 0.98
02:44:25.000 And this podcast reaches people all over the planet. 0.99
02:44:29.000 I get emails and text messages, or tweets rather, from New Zealand, from Australia, from Japan.
02:44:35.000 I get them from Afghanistan.
02:44:37.000 I get them constantly from all over the world.
02:44:40.000 There's plenty of people.
02:44:41.000 It's so cool.
02:44:42.000 Who knows how many millions that is that have access to podcasts?
02:44:47.000 You should listen to whatever you like.
02:44:50.000 The idea that somehow or another, your show is being stiffed by some... 0.98
02:44:57.000 Maybe they organized some fucking thing where they tried to win it or something like that. 0.98
02:45:02.000 It's possible. 0.99
02:45:02.000 They were upset that they did that, and so this is the blowback. 0.99
02:45:06.000 But it's probably that same sort of strategy.
02:45:07.000 Get us to talk about it.
02:45:08.000 Get us to be angry about it.
02:45:10.000 And it pumps up that other show.
02:45:11.000 Yeah, I had somebody try to bait us on that too.
02:45:15.000 Meanwhile, I hope that other show does great.
02:45:17.000 I hope it's something I can listen to.
02:45:18.000 I hope I enjoy it.
02:45:20.000 I'm not against any other shows.
02:45:23.000 I love what I love.
02:45:26.000 If there's someone out there that wins some Stitcher Award or some iTunes Award or something like that and we didn't, I'll listen to it because I want to know if it's good.
02:45:36.000 Maybe I'll find it enjoyable and it'll be something I can listen to on a plane sometime and have a good time.
02:45:41.000 I'm really sorry we got our listeners to send you that hate man.
02:45:43.000 Ha! 0.89
02:45:44.000 I was about to bring that up.
02:45:45.000 I was trying to work it in slowly.
02:45:48.000 We didn't even talk about the UFC. Oh yeah.
02:45:51.000 Crazy ass fucking UFC. That was pretty crazy. 1.00
02:45:52.000 A lot of fights I heard in the stands.
02:45:54.000 Yeah, I heard some people got stabbed.
02:45:55.000 Two people got stabbed. 0.57
02:45:57.000 Crazy. 0.73
02:45:58.000 Another guy threw a chair at a woman. 0.99
02:46:00.000 Jesus.
02:46:01.000 Did he throw it at somebody else and the woman got hit?
02:46:03.000 Is that what happened?
02:46:04.000 We didn't get clarity on that, but it was intense in the stands.
02:46:07.000 It was funny because it was...
02:46:08.000 How did he get a chair in the stands?
02:46:10.000 I think the chair was in...
02:46:12.000 Higher up when they have the freestanding area where there actually are chairs.
02:46:18.000 Oh, I see, I see, I see.
02:46:19.000 So someone threw it down?
02:46:21.000 I'm not sure how it was thrown.
02:46:22.000 They were just talking about that a chair got thrown and hit a girl.
02:46:25.000 That a dude threw it.
02:46:27.000 But the stabbing...
02:46:28.000 It made sense that something like that happened because we were all...
02:46:31.000 I realized that sometimes fights happen in the stands and you look and it just kind of...
02:46:36.000 It fizzles out really quickly.
02:46:38.000 And in this case, it was...
02:46:42.000 You heard a huge shouting, screaming from this area.
02:46:47.000 And we all turned and were watching it.
02:46:48.000 And then I realized that 30 seconds later, there's a fight going on and everybody is looking in the stands.
02:46:56.000 Because there's so much action in there and people are scared.
02:47:00.000 What fight was going on while this was happening?
02:47:01.000 Man, this had to have been...
02:47:05.000 Oh, it was Jamie Varner and Abel Trujillo.
02:47:07.000 Was it that fight?
02:47:08.000 That's what someone said.
02:47:09.000 Yeah, it was later on.
02:47:11.000 So it wasn't one of the early fights.
02:47:13.000 I want to say it's probably about...
02:47:16.000 Yeah, that makes sense.
02:47:17.000 Six, seven fights in.
02:47:18.000 So that would be Varner Trujillo. 1.00
02:47:20.000 That was a crazy fucking fight. 1.00
02:47:21.000 That fight makes people want to stab people. 1.00
02:47:23.000 Yeah, and that was the...
02:47:25.000 That fight was bananas. 0.92
02:47:26.000 We're looking at six or seven decisions in a row up to that point.
02:47:29.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:47:30.000 But Jamie Varner and Abel Trujillo just fucking assaulted each other. 0.99
02:47:34.000 They threw down. 0.99
02:47:36.000 Varner looked like, in the beginning, like, he seemed like he was moments away from closing it out.
02:47:41.000 He hit him hard and fast, and he had him in trouble, and you just didn't know if he was going to close it out right then.
02:47:48.000 But then...
02:47:49.000 Towards the end of the fight, he looked like he was going to get him again.
02:47:52.000 Well, he had him in a north-south choke, too, for a while.
02:47:54.000 He burnt his arm out in the first round because he was trying to choke him out with that north-south choke. 0.91
02:47:59.000 So he had him on the ground, had a dominant position, had a choke, couldn't finish the choke, and then they got up and were fucking slinging knuckles at each other. 0.98
02:48:06.000 Man, yeah. 0.90
02:48:07.000 It was one of the wildest, most aggressive fights.
02:48:09.000 The way I described it, those punches were like, what did you say about my mother punches? 0.99
02:48:14.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99
02:48:14.000 That's the way I described it, because they were just, they were so ridiculous. 0.99
02:48:17.000 I feel like throughout the fights, we were seeing a number of haymakers thrown, man. 0.92
02:48:21.000 Like, a lot of just over-the-top, running, throwing punches.
02:48:24.000 It was pretty intense.
02:48:26.000 There was a lot of, there was, I mean, people complained about it.
02:48:29.000 Like, that always happens online.
02:48:30.000 People complain.
02:48:31.000 But I thought there was some fights that weren't the most dramatic because they were evenly matched and they went to decision.
02:48:38.000 But that Varner fight and then, of course, the main event was a huge disaster.
02:48:44.000 The stoppage, the premature stoppage.
02:48:47.000 It was too bad. 0.95
02:48:49.000 First of all, it was too bad because Hennon Burrell looked fucking sensational. 0.92
02:48:54.000 I mean, he cracked Uriah Faber with this big punch. 0.96
02:48:56.000 And he hurt him with a bad leg kick before that, man.
02:49:00.000 Leg kick was like a whip.
02:49:03.000 Yeah.
02:49:21.000 He was looking at the referee when he was hammerfisting Uriah because he wanted the referee to stop the fight.
02:49:26.000 Which, of course, look, he's the champion.
02:49:28.000 He wants to retain his title.
02:49:29.000 It's worth a lot of money to him.
02:49:31.000 It's very valuable.
02:49:32.000 It's also a point of pride.
02:49:36.000 But he had Uriah really badly hurt.
02:49:38.000 It would have been way better if you could finish him off legitimately.
02:49:42.000 If you finished him off where there's no controversy.
02:49:46.000 But Herb Dean stopped the fight kind of early.
02:49:49.000 But on Herb's side, he didn't know.
02:49:51.000 What if he stopped the fight and Uriah, after Hennenborough got off of him, rolls over onto his back and he's unconscious?
02:49:59.000 He's getting cracked, he's hurt, he's wobbling, he's hanging on, and he's just had his hands up and he's getting hit with punches.
02:50:05.000 I didn't think it was quick enough to stop the fight, or I didn't think it was bad enough to stop the fight, but I'm not a referee, man.
02:50:10.000 I'm not in there right next to the guys.
02:50:12.000 He is, and he made a bad call.
02:50:15.000 But it's because he wanted everybody to be safe.
02:50:17.000 It's the right call to make if you're concerned with being safe.
02:50:21.000 This is the Jamie Varner, Abel Trujillo fight.
02:50:24.000 Boom! 0.99
02:50:24.000 That's the punch that landed. 0.99
02:50:26.000 Oh my god, that's crazy.
02:50:28.000 But the way they were winging at each other, look at this.
02:50:30.000 They're winging punches at each other.
02:50:32.000 Oh, Trujillo hit him so perfect too.
02:50:35.000 And he was chasing after Trujillo.
02:50:37.000 I mean, the whole thing was so crazy.
02:50:40.000 It was one of the wildest Donny Brooks style fights, one of the most slobber knocker fights I've ever seen.
02:50:49.000 It's the fight that gets an audience excited.
02:50:52.000 That's the kind of fight that people are fired up about.
02:50:55.000 I just feel sorry for Uriah Faber a little bit.
02:50:58.000 Yeah, that he didn't have a chance to actually...
02:50:59.000 Come back. 0.94
02:51:00.000 He's a fucking durable guy, too, because he might have been able to get out of that and survive and come back. 0.97
02:51:06.000 We saw with Frankie Edgar versus Grey Maynard, he was hurt even worse than Uriah Faber was, but look, he came back and he won. 0.97
02:51:12.000 Or he came back and he made a draw out of it.
02:51:14.000 Who was it that thought, was it Martin that got out of a crazy armbar?
02:51:18.000 Or was he putting it on?
02:51:21.000 No, that was Martin was putting it on, and he put it on... 0.99
02:51:26.000 Fucking who? 0.99
02:51:26.000 Russian guy. 0.99
02:51:27.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:51:28.000 Magomedov.
02:51:29.000 Magomedov.
02:51:29.000 Yeah, that was a crazy fight.
02:51:31.000 The first round, he dominated that dude on the ground and got a real good, deep arm bar.
02:51:37.000 And the guy was screaming in agony when he was trying to get out of it.
02:51:40.000 Like, you could see his arms hyper-extended, screaming in agony.
02:51:44.000 And managed to get out of it and actually managed to win the fight.
02:51:47.000 Yeah, that was incredible.
02:51:48.000 That was absolutely incredible seeing him get out of that. 1.00
02:51:49.000 Fuck yeah. 0.99
02:51:50.000 There was some great fights. 1.00
02:51:52.000 Jose Aldo's a fucking beast. 0.99
02:51:53.000 And so is that kid, Ricardo Lamas, man. 1.00
02:51:56.000 Ricardo Lamas is a tough fucking kid. 0.98
02:51:59.000 We also saw Alistair and Frank Mir. 0.99
02:52:05.000 Yeah.
02:52:05.000 Dude, that knee to the face.
02:52:08.000 Yeah.
02:52:09.000 I know a friend, so I have really good seats.
02:52:11.000 I was, like, K-side. 0.94
02:52:13.000 And that knee was right in front of us.
02:52:16.000 Yeah.
02:52:17.000 And you hear it, and we saw Frank's eyes roll back.
02:52:20.000 I was certain, first of all, I just heard his jaw get cracked in half.
02:52:24.000 And I also thought, because he stumbled big time, I thought he was...
02:52:28.000 Going down.
02:52:28.000 Absolutely, yeah.
02:52:29.000 Yeah, he didn't want to go down. 0.99
02:52:30.000 Look, Frank Mir is a tough motherfucker, man. 0.99
02:52:32.000 He's tough. 0.99
02:52:32.000 He's tough, and he's experienced, and the dude has just been there, done that. 0.99
02:52:36.000 It's hard to take him out, you know?
02:52:39.000 That's why it was so impressive that Josh Barnett took him out so fast in the first round. 0.99
02:52:43.000 Frank's fucking tough, man. 0.98
02:52:44.000 He kept trying to win. 1.00
02:52:46.000 He was trying to win, and he was getting hit pretty good.
02:52:49.000 Yeah.
02:52:50.000 Almost had a guillotine at one point in time, but Alistair popped out of it.
02:52:53.000 But, you know, maybe if Frank got that earlier in the fight before he'd taken all that punishment, maybe he'd have had more strength.
02:52:57.000 It's incredible to be able to take that abuse and still be in it, though.
02:53:01.000 Well, Alistair fought conservatively.
02:53:03.000 He kind of admitted to it, that he was worried because he had lost two fights in a row, and he wanted to make sure he played it safe and got the win.
02:53:08.000 By the way, was it Trujillo that you asked something like...
02:53:12.000 Did it hurt?
02:53:12.000 And he was like, I hurt like a mug.
02:53:14.000 Yeah, he did, yeah.
02:53:15.000 Oh, he was totally honest about it.
02:53:17.000 I mean, yeah.
02:53:18.000 Alright, so we ran out of time, man.
02:53:19.000 We're going to turn into a pumpkin soon.
02:53:21.000 Tom Segura on Twitter, ladies and gentlemen.
02:53:23.000 T-O-M-S-E-G-U-R-A. And the podcast with his lovely and talented wife, Christina Pazitzki, is called Your Mom's House.
02:53:30.000 And it is, in fact, the shit. 0.99
02:53:32.000 And they do a live version of this podcast. 0.99
02:53:34.000 A lot of times, Tom and Christina will do gigs.
02:53:37.000 Well, they'll do stand-up.
02:53:39.000 And then they'll also do the podcast. 0.89
02:53:41.000 And it's got a fucking huge following now. 0.74
02:53:43.000 And it's beautiful to see, man. 0.97
02:53:44.000 It's fun.
02:53:45.000 I love that it's growing and expanding and that you have these shows now and all these people know all the stuff that you guys talk about on a regular basis so they're really into it.
02:53:52.000 It's so much fun.
02:53:53.000 It's a party and it's a good time.
02:53:55.000 We're doing live podcasts.
02:53:57.000 It's like a whole different type of performance for us.
02:53:59.000 So we're doing it all over, man.
02:54:01.000 San Francisco, New York, Houston, Seattle.
02:54:03.000 It's going everywhere.
02:54:04.000 It's beautiful.
02:54:05.000 And they're all free, of course.
02:54:07.000 What is the website?
02:54:08.000 To listen to, yeah.
02:54:09.000 We're on iTunes or you go to yourmomshousepodcast.com.
02:54:12.000 Beautiful.
02:54:14.000 And thank you to Squarespace.
02:54:16.000 Squarespace.com.
02:54:17.000 Use the code word Joe and save 10% off your first purchase.
02:54:22.000 Thanks also to LegalZoom.com.
02:54:24.000 Use the code word Rogan in the referral box at checkout and get some more savings.
02:54:29.000 Thanks to Onnit.com.
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02:54:36.000 Thank you everybody who came to New York this weekend. 0.97
02:54:39.000 We had a great fucking time. 0.98
02:54:40.000 It couldn't have been a nicer crowd. 1.00
02:54:42.000 You guys were cool as fuck. 0.98
02:54:43.000 And even though over 1,000 people had to get upstairs through two elevators, we mentioned at the beginning of the show that we're going to start late because of that. 0.99
02:54:51.000 And everybody cheered and they were happy.
02:54:53.000 And we got everybody seated before the show started.
02:54:56.000 I can't thank you guys enough.
02:54:58.000 It's a real honor.
02:55:05.000 We're good to go.
02:55:21.000 Sometimes he's on CNN, and he's also got a great show on Sirius XM as well. 1.00
02:55:26.000 So we got a lot of shit coming up, you fucks. 1.00
02:55:27.000 And we love you. 1.00
02:55:29.000 We love you.
02:55:30.000 Love for all.
02:55:31.000 Big kiss.