The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #468 - Duncan Trussell, Christopher Ryan

00:00:02.000 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, or perhaps good evening, if you're in an internet time zone.

00:00:07.000 What does that even mean?

00:00:08.000 If you're somewhere else on the planet, that's what I'm trying to say.

00:00:11.000 This episode, and by the way, we just had another thing where we had to go forward in time.

00:00:16.000 Did you get that right?

00:00:16.000 Yeah.

00:00:17.000 It's tough.

00:00:18.000 Jumped forward.

00:00:18.000 Freaked me out.

00:00:19.000 Especially when you're at a bar, hammered.

00:00:22.000 My dad was an hour late picking me up at the airport yesterday.

00:00:25.000 Of course, because he forgot.

00:00:26.000 This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com.

00:00:28.000 Here's a way to save time.

00:00:30.000 Other than that... 1.00

00:00:32.000 Going to the post office to send your packages is always a pain in the ass. 0.99

00:00:36.000 Getting them measured on a scale. 1.00

00:00:38.000 If you're running a small business and you're selling shit online, if you're not, you should do that because it's way better than having a boss. 0.86

00:00:46.000 But stamps.com is a way that you can do it all from the comfort of your own home. 0.95

00:00:50.000 With your own home computer and a regular printer, you can print U.S. postage right there in your office.

00:00:57.000 They give you a free digital scale, if you use the code word JRE, in their $110 bonus offer, which includes $55 of free postage and a free digital scale that you are not to use for mushrooms.

00:01:11.000 And you can measure your packages and print official U.S. postage right there from your office and send it through stamps.com.

00:01:20.000 It saves you a ton of money.

00:01:23.000 You know, all you have to do is package everything up, print it up, put the labels on, give them to the postman.

00:01:27.000 Thank you.

00:01:27.000 You cut a whole process out.

00:01:30.000 If the postage changes, Stamps.com is on the ball ahead of time, so you don't have to worry about it. 0.98

00:01:35.000 And you really shouldn't be fucking complaining about postage. 0.96

00:01:38.000 I'm so tired. 0.98

00:01:39.000 Stamps went up to 49 cents.

00:01:40.000 Oh my god.

00:01:41.000 That is the bargain of the universe.

00:01:44.000 49 cents and you can take a piece of paper across the country.

00:01:47.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:01:47.000 That's fucking ridiculous that you would even complain about that. 0.99

00:01:50.000 And some dude in shorts will bring it to your door. 1.00

00:01:52.000 And they have a car that has a steering wheel on the wrong side of the road.

00:01:55.000 Exactly.

00:01:56.000 And doors that don't close.

00:01:56.000 That's his commitment.

00:01:57.000 His commitment to delivering you mail.

00:01:59.000 Yep.

00:02:00.000 Anyway, go to Stamps.com.

00:02:01.000 Before you do anything, click on the microphone on the homepage and type in J-R-E. That's Stamps.com J-R-E. We're also brought to you by Ting.

00:02:10.000 Wating is a mobile company that does things...

00:02:13.000 Well, they like to try to cut out all the bullshit that you normally get when you have cell phone service. 0.98

00:02:19.000 All the bullshit like early termination fees and these add-ons that you weren't aware of when you signed up for... 0.98

00:02:32.000 We're good to go. 0.99

00:02:35.000 We're good to go.

00:02:49.000 would save money if they used Ting.

00:02:51.000 Ting is also a company that uses the Sprint backbone.

00:02:54.000 So it's a real cell phone provider. 0.98

00:02:56.000 It's not some mickey mouse shit that somebody slapped together with duct tape. 1.00

00:02:59.000 It's fucking Sprint. 1.00

00:03:00.000 And you can get a cell phone from them. 0.99

00:03:03.000 One of the highest end Android phones available.

00:03:06.000 Like they have the HTC One, which is a beautiful phone.

00:03:09.000 They have the Samsung phones, the Galaxy S4, the Galaxy Note 3. They have all the high end beautiful Android phones.

00:03:17.000 And you just feel better about the transaction.

00:03:20.000 It doesn't feel icky. 0.99

00:03:23.000 It feels like you're giving them money for a good service, but you're not getting fucked with any weird shit that they tack on. 0.99

00:03:29.000 Sounds like a burner phone, Joe. 1.00

00:03:30.000 Sounds like what senators used to pick up mail hookers. 1.00

00:03:33.000 And drug dealers in Baltimore. 0.92

00:03:36.000 No, it's an awesome company.

00:03:37.000 Go to rogan.ting.com and save $25 off your first device.

00:03:41.000 You know, they're also working with iPhones now.

00:03:43.000 Yes.

00:03:43.000 Just recently, they started allowing iPhones.

00:03:46.000 Yeah, which is great, but the iPhone thing, I've got a weird thing going on with them because of this Bitcoin thing.

00:03:54.000 I think Bitcoin is a fascinating subject.

00:03:58.000 And yeah, there's going to be people that blow a lot of money on it.

00:04:01.000 It's going to go up and down.

00:04:03.000 I mean, there's a lot going on with it.

00:04:05.000 People may be trying to sabotage it.

00:04:07.000 But the bottom line is you can't get an Apple Bitcoin wallet app.

00:04:11.000 They canceled their app.

00:04:12.000 The app had 120,000 downloads.

00:04:14.000 I don't know, but that's disrespectful to the community, to the Bitcoin community, in my opinion.

00:04:19.000 I don't know if Bitcoin's ever going to work out or not work out, but I do know that I don't want to support a company that does something like that.

00:04:26.000 If these applications are doing something deceptive, then I think there should be some sort of a press release explaining what deceptive practices were being done by these apps that made you remove them. 0.93

00:04:37.000 But I find it odd if I can get all these different Bitcoin wallets for Android, but when I look on an iPhone, there's fucking nothing.

00:04:45.000 That can't be a coincidence. 0.95

00:04:47.000 You can't tell me that... 0.67

00:04:49.000 That Google is so negligent that they allow these people to get on their network and sell these apps, and no one is stopping all the exploits, no one's stopping all the bullshit, or is Apple just keeping them from coming on their platform? 0.81

00:05:05.000 Who knows? 0.72

00:05:06.000 It's interesting.

00:05:07.000 Yeah.

00:05:07.000 But I think this is a...

00:05:09.000 A critical time for something like a Bitcoin.

00:05:12.000 Because it's not even about...

00:05:13.000 It might not even be about Bitcoin.

00:05:15.000 It might be about what Bitcoin becomes.

00:05:18.000 And, you know, people saying it's not perfect. 0.96

00:05:20.000 They want to kill it. 0.97

00:05:21.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1.00

00:05:22.000 Slow the fuck down. 1.00

00:05:23.000 Why would you kill this? 1.00

00:05:25.000 Like, what is this?

00:05:25.000 Let's look at what this could be.

00:05:27.000 Because what it is right now is like some sort of a computer program and a new form of currency.

00:05:33.000 But if you kill it, it never grows into what it could have become. 0.99

00:05:38.000 Money used to be fucking knots on a rope. 1.00

00:05:40.000 It used to be these weird handmade coins made of precious metals. 0.99

00:05:45.000 And now it's paper.

00:05:47.000 Now it's numbers.

00:05:49.000 It's ones.

00:05:50.000 It's zeros.

00:05:50.000 It's numbers in a computer somewhere.

00:05:52.000 You can't tell me that money can't evolve like everything else, like a fucking processing system, like a computer, like a television. 0.90

00:06:01.000 Things get more complex, they get better, they tighten down, they figure out, you've got all these smart people working on this Bitcoin thing. 0.89

00:06:08.000 There's a lot of really intelligent people invested in this idea of making the economy more stable with this sort of a currency. 0.96

00:06:16.000 A currency that can't be fucked with. 0.93

00:06:19.000 Or traced. 0.99

00:06:20.000 That's fascinating.

00:06:21.000 Isn't it more anonymous?

00:06:23.000 Yes, yes.

00:06:24.000 It's more anonymous.

00:06:25.000 You know what, man?

00:06:26.000 I think that the idea of only going the way we're going and only using the methods that we're using right now, it's ridiculous. 0.92

00:06:34.000 I think it's ridiculous.

00:06:36.000 Well, and also, the upper level of currency trading has been virtual for a long time.

00:06:42.000 You know, when banks borrow overnight rates and all that kind of stuff, there's no movement of paper going on.

00:06:48.000 It's just a computer click here or there.

00:06:50.000 Yeah, we got way off track.

00:06:51.000 This is supposed to be a Ting commercial. 0.97

00:06:54.000 But I get fucking crazy when it comes to these things. 0.96

00:06:56.000 Yeah, I'll tell you. 0.98

00:06:57.000 Sorry to interrupt you.

00:06:58.000 I met a guy at a wedding years ago who's a world-famous seashell expert.

00:07:02.000 I sat with him at the same table, so we were chatting.

00:07:05.000 Boring wedding. 1.00

00:07:06.000 Sounds like a boring fucking conversation. 1.00

00:07:08.000 No! 1.00

00:07:08.000 No, but check it out. 1.00

00:07:10.000 How dare you?

00:07:11.000 It came up because Cassie mentioned Mozambique, and he's like, oh, I've been to Mozambique four times collecting shells.

00:07:17.000 It's like this amazing place.

00:07:19.000 I mean, the guy goes all over the world.

00:07:20.000 Anyway, he told me, you know how we're talking about currency, when the Dutch supposedly bought Manhattan Island from the Indians for wampum, right?

00:07:28.000 They paid them in wampum, right?

00:07:30.000 Yeah.

00:07:30.000 And what wampum was, as most school kids know, is seashells sewn onto a belt, right?

00:07:36.000 But what he told me was that they're a particular type of seashell that only grew in this one bay that was controlled by this one tribe, so they sort of had a monopoly.

00:07:46.000 It's like the America... 0.93

00:07:47.000 The dollar at this point, the reserve currency, right?

00:07:50.000 And it would emanate out from there.

00:07:52.000 So what the Dutch did was they went and figured out what shell it was, and they figured out how to cultivate that mollusk themselves. 0.95

00:08:00.000 So within a couple of years, they had an unlimited supply of- Counterfeit.

00:08:05.000 Counterfeit money.

00:08:06.000 Exactly.

00:08:07.000 People have always been creeps.

00:08:09.000 That's the story. 0.99

00:08:10.000 And all currency, you can fuck with all currency, by definition, whatever, you know. 0.99

00:08:16.000 It always has been that way. 0.99

00:08:17.000 Yeah, but now it's all virtual.

00:08:20.000 There's not even a coin to fake anymore.

00:08:22.000 Well, isn't that the whole...

00:08:23.000 I guess we've already done these commercials, right?

00:08:24.000 Did we say rogan.ting.com?

00:08:26.000 We did, right?

00:08:26.000 So let's just not even play music.

00:08:27.000 Just keep going.

00:08:29.000 It feels weird when you break up conversations like this.

00:08:32.000 But wasn't the idea about gold and precious minerals being there's very few of them.

00:08:36.000 There's a finite amount so that this is a good thing to base money on because people sort of always kind of recognize there's got to be a way to put a cap on it.

00:08:44.000 Yes.

00:08:45.000 The way to keep this thing, it doesn't totally make sense for controlling everything.

00:08:52.000 Think about what money really is.

00:08:54.000 It's so bizarre.

00:08:55.000 Because it's not human, okay?

00:08:58.000 It's not thinking, but it seems to be an organism.

00:09:01.000 It seems to be something that requires you to love it, so it allows you to connect yourself to all these material items that fill up this weird hole in your idea of the world.

00:09:15.000 I'll tell you what it is.

00:09:17.000 It's a Western god.

00:09:20.000 Right?

00:09:20.000 Because it's power hungry.

00:09:21.000 It accumulates power.

00:09:23.000 It's jealous.

00:09:24.000 It doesn't want any other currencies in existence.

00:09:26.000 It wants to control the market.

00:09:27.000 And it only works if everybody believes in it.

00:09:32.000 That's a dark way to put it.

00:09:34.000 I've heard it put a positive way, which is it just represents the life flow.

00:09:39.000 It represents this flow of energy that's always coming through the universe, and it's kind of like one manifestation of that energy flow.

00:09:46.000 And if you look at it like that, instead of demonizing it, which I've definitely done in the past, and just see it as this thing that sort of...

00:09:53.000 It's like we know when you throw paint on the invisible man or something, you know?

00:09:58.000 It reveals this kind of...

00:10:02.000 Yeah.

00:10:14.000 I mean, don't you think there are predictable things that happen to a person's life when a bunch of money comes into it?

00:10:19.000 Yeah, no doubt.

00:10:20.000 I think money is objectively toxic.

00:10:23.000 You think so? 1.00

00:10:24.000 I think it's literally toxic when you consider all the disgusting people who handle that shit, all the fear sweat that soaks into it. 1.00

00:10:34.000 And cocaine, huh? 1.00

00:10:35.000 Lots of cocaine.

00:10:36.000 I don't think that money is inherently toxic.

00:10:38.000 I think people with power are inherently toxic.

00:10:40.000 Yeah.

00:10:41.000 I don't think it has anything to do with money.

00:10:43.000 I think the real corrupting factor of money is that they want someone...

00:10:48.000 Everybody wants it.

00:10:51.000 So if everybody wants it, someone at some point in time is going to try to control the flow of other people acquiring it because then it will interfere with them.

00:11:00.000 And so then it becomes this chimpanzee competition thing.

00:11:03.000 It's not that money is toxic, because you could take wealthy people who make a lot of money, who do a lot of good things with it, and they seem to be really nice.

00:11:11.000 And they have this ability to help and affect all sorts of other folks.

00:11:15.000 Like Bill Gates.

00:11:16.000 I don't know anything about Bill Gates, but what I know about watching Bill Gates is his constant charity work.

00:11:23.000 He's constantly giving away money.

00:11:24.000 Okay, but let's take this back to where you started, right?

00:11:26.000 With Apple shutting down the Bitcoins.

00:11:29.000 The way Bill Gates got rich, the way Microsoft got where they are, is by shutting down competition.

00:11:35.000 Every time somebody rose that would challenge Windows, they would shut it down, buy them out, drive them out of business.

00:11:40.000 They're like the Walmart of software. 0.50

00:11:42.000 That's why everybody bitches about how shitty Windows is, but you can't not use Windows if you're in a big company in the 90s. 0.99

00:11:49.000 Well, that's also because they got a stronghold on the market when Apple was shit. 0.99

00:11:53.000 I mean, Apple was really bad. 0.99

00:11:54.000 And they didn't let anybody else come up.

00:11:57.000 Well, Apple wouldn't let anybody sell their operating system and just attach it to a computer.

00:12:01.000 When you buy an Apple computer, you buy it from them.

00:12:03.000 They used to have clones.

00:12:05.000 They used to have these Apple clones you could buy.

00:12:07.000 And then they shut those clones down.

00:12:09.000 People got really pissed. 1.00

00:12:10.000 And businesses also, like, the old Apples were dog shit. 1.00

00:12:14.000 They were bad. 0.98

00:12:15.000 And when Windows came out, there were so many good things about Windows operating system as opposed to the old OSX. There's something about the way the operating system worked that it was really bad with multitasking.

00:12:29.000 I thought it was the other way.

00:12:31.000 I thought that Apple operating systems sort of led the way and Windows copied them.

00:12:37.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:12:39.000 There's definitely some copying back and forth from each other.

00:12:42.000 But the original way of using a user interface, a graphic user interface, it was invented by Xerox.

00:12:47.000 They invented the first computer that worked like that.

00:12:49.000 Everything else was a terminal that you'd have to just punch in code.

00:12:51.000 They figured out how to do that first.

00:12:53.000 And then Apple and then Windows copied that.

00:12:56.000 But so what?

00:12:57.000 It's just a graphic user interface.

00:12:58.000 I mean, like, what's going on behind the scenes?

00:13:01.000 Well, the old days...

00:13:03.000 Before OSX, Apple had no memory protection, no preemptive multitasking. 0.91

00:13:08.000 The old operating systems for Apple were really shitty.

00:13:12.000 So then they changed it to go with the Windows platform, to go with the Intel platform, when they couldn't get anything more out of that IBM computer that they used to sell.

00:13:20.000 They couldn't get any more juice out of it.

00:13:22.000 And then the Windows computers were getting up to 1 GHz.

00:13:24.000 So they just jumped ship and went to Intel and had to change everything.

00:13:27.000 Oh, you're talking about the chip?

00:13:28.000 Yeah, they had to change their processors.

00:13:30.000 They had to change their processors.

00:13:32.000 And by the way, if I butchered any of this, real true computer geeks, I apologize.

00:13:35.000 I know.

00:13:36.000 I'm imagining thousands of them.

00:13:37.000 I'm so impressed.

00:13:38.000 Whatever the multitasking thing?

00:13:40.000 Yeah, preemptive multitasking.

00:13:41.000 Wow.

00:13:42.000 The ability to do...

00:13:43.000 Well, I think a lot of times when...

00:13:45.000 Like, today, Windows is awesome with that.

00:13:47.000 So is Mac.

00:13:48.000 You can run a bunch of different programs at the same time.

00:13:51.000 But it used to be...

00:13:52.000 Like, if you wanted to...

00:13:53.000 iTunes wasn't around back then, but if Yeah.

00:14:09.000 But one of the reasons is the operating system is far more complex, and it's a Unix-based operating system now.

00:14:16.000 So when Apple came around with OSX, it was so far ahead of anything else.

00:14:21.000 Windows looked like a dinosaur in comparison.

00:14:24.000 That's when I switched over.

00:14:26.000 The guys in the Fear Factor office had these Apple computers with OSX. For whatever reason, Hollywood has always been super, super Apple.

00:14:35.000 Like everything.

00:14:36.000 Like Apple evangelists on sets.

00:14:38.000 Graphics.

00:14:39.000 But then, yeah.

00:14:39.000 Not just that.

00:14:40.000 But remember when Apple shit all over Final Cut? 0.98

00:14:43.000 Remember that? 0.96

00:14:43.000 They did that update to Final Cut and just nerfed it and turned it into this baby machine or something. 0.96

00:14:49.000 Well, Redband stopped using it.

00:14:51.000 Well, so did my brother.

00:14:52.000 My brother's a video editor in DC and he switched to PC. And the new Windows system is pretty amazing, man.

00:14:59.000 I've used it.

00:15:00.000 It's really cool.

00:15:01.000 I like it a lot.

00:15:02.000 New Windows system for video editing?

00:15:04.000 Is that what you mean?

00:15:04.000 Well, no, just the new Windows, the operating system itself is so much different.

00:15:09.000 If you're used to, like, whenever you stopped using it, if you revisit it now, it's pretty cool, man.

00:15:14.000 Oh, sure, it's cool.

00:15:15.000 I still use Mac, though, but I think one cool thing about Windows is that it gives you the freedom.

00:15:22.000 To fuck up your whole computer. 0.98

00:15:23.000 To fuck up your computer. 1.00

00:15:24.000 And that's cool, man. 0.99

00:15:25.000 There's always some with Apple, you always feel like your hands are tied a little bit, you know? 0.99

00:15:29.000 They're always trying to control shit. 0.99

00:15:31.000 They took Flash away. 0.99

00:15:32.000 Remember when they did that? 0.99

00:15:33.000 Right after I learned to code an action script a little bit, those motherfuckers started launching photon missiles into Flash. 1.00

00:15:40.000 And ever since then, I've had a sour taste over Apple. 0.99

00:15:44.000 Well, I think there was a reason.

00:15:46.000 There was a bunch of security exploits with Flash, though, wasn't there?

00:15:48.000 Who cares? 0.99

00:15:50.000 Let me destroy my goddamn computer if I want to. 1.00

00:15:53.000 And my life. 1.00

00:15:53.000 It's that attitude of like, the older I get, the more grating it becomes when you realize you're being protected from destroying yourself. 1.00

00:16:02.000 It's like, stop it.

00:16:03.000 Let me do this if this is what I'm compelled to do.

00:16:06.000 Well, especially when it's been proven that the things you're trying to prevent you from doing aren't harmful oftentimes.

00:16:11.000 Like pot.

00:16:12.000 Yes!

00:16:13.000 Think about the money that's been spent on keeping pot illegal.

00:16:15.000 Of course, everyone distrusts you now. 0.99

00:16:17.000 They're never going to listen to a goddamn word you said. 0.99

00:16:19.000 You try to keep pot from them. 1.00

00:16:21.000 Yes. 0.98

00:16:21.000 It's one of the dumbest things the government has ever done is try to keep pot from people. 0.98

00:16:25.000 No shit. 1.00

00:16:25.000 Because you smoke it, you find out it's awesome, you don't die, and then you start distrusting everything. 1.00

00:16:31.000 Right. 0.98

00:16:31.000 Well, masturbation. 0.98

00:16:33.000 Think about how many people thought they were going to die from masturbation, right? 0.99

00:16:36.000 You lose your mind, you get hair on your palms.

00:16:38.000 But when did that end?

00:16:39.000 That wasn't my time.

00:16:41.000 No, well, unless you're Catholic.

00:16:43.000 No, no, I'm talking about earlier times, early 20th century, 19th century.

00:16:47.000 I never heard that you were going to go blind or anything.

00:16:49.000 Oh, yeah.

00:16:49.000 There were medical books in the 19th century.

00:16:52.000 Kellogg had this whole thing about it.

00:16:54.000 Yeah.

00:16:55.000 It causes insanity.

00:16:56.000 Insanity.

00:16:57.000 It causes hair to grow on your palms.

00:17:00.000 Yeah, isn't that weird about Kellogg?

00:17:03.000 Kellogg from Kellogg Cereal, right?

00:17:05.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:17:05.000 He had a thing.

00:17:06.000 He was very...

00:17:07.000 You ever see that? 0.99

00:17:08.000 He hated people who masturbate? 0.99

00:17:11.000 He had a thing about that. 0.99

00:17:12.000 I mean, the whole thing with cornflakes. 0.99

00:17:14.000 The reason cornflakes were invented was to stop boys from masturbating. 0.87

00:17:18.000 Yeah, how was the idea behind that? 0.54

00:17:20.000 You explained this to us before, didn't you?

00:17:22.000 Yeah, the idea is that spicy foods excite the sensibilities, and so if you eat something that tastes interesting, you're going to want to come.

00:17:31.000 And also graham crackers.

00:17:33.000 Graham was another of these big anti-masturbation evangelizers, so they invent these really intentionally bland foods to give to teenage boys.

00:17:42.000 You know why they like that? 0.95

00:17:42.000 You know why they like to keep the teenage boys from jerking off? 0.95

00:17:45.000 So that when they finger their assholes, they immediately cum. 1.00

00:17:51.000 Exactly. 1.00

00:17:52.000 Exactly.

00:17:53.000 It's like veal.

00:17:55.000 Keep him in the dark.

00:17:57.000 Oh, that's so true.

00:17:59.000 Kellogg, the guy... 0.99

00:18:00.000 Just to make him so fucking horny, just anything. 1.00

00:18:02.000 Spin your finger, father. 1.00

00:18:04.000 Just anything.

00:18:05.000 Just touch me.

00:18:06.000 Squirt. 0.99

00:18:08.000 Fucking Mount Vesuvius. 1.00

00:18:10.000 Confusion. 1.00

00:18:10.000 Jizz. 1.00

00:18:11.000 Shits. 1.00

00:18:12.000 What am I gay now? 1.00

00:18:13.000 Shits. 1.00

00:18:14.000 Yeah, it's like, what if your cow could milk itself? 1.00

00:18:16.000 That would be bad.

00:18:21.000 And it can climb fences.

00:18:23.000 A cow that does yoga and can reach its own teats. 0.99

00:18:27.000 A cow that's so smart it realizes how fucking huge it is, it can just run through that fence anytime it wants us. 0.99

00:18:33.000 With shitty wooden fences they used to keep cows in with? 0.99

00:18:35.000 That's unbelievable. 0.97

00:18:37.000 You know how they train elephants?

00:18:39.000 You see these elephants that are chained to something and the elephant could just pull it out?

00:18:44.000 Right.

00:18:44.000 The way they train them is when they're babies, they chain them to something really heavy that they can't pull.

00:18:50.000 And then the elephant for the rest of its life is like, oh man, when that chain's on, it can't pull.

00:18:54.000 Yeah.

00:18:55.000 I have a friend who keeps cows.

00:18:58.000 He's got these grass-fed cows and he's got his big farm and he butchers a cow every year.

00:19:04.000 And guess what? 1.00

00:19:05.000 Those fucking cows know it. 1.00

00:19:07.000 Oh, when the butchering's coming. 1.00

00:19:08.000 They know something's going on.

00:19:09.000 They don't know that they can...

00:19:10.000 He doesn't have like an old schooly wooden fence.

00:19:13.000 He's got like a real fence that could keep the cows in.

00:19:15.000 But he doesn't...

00:19:17.000 What are you doing there, man?

00:19:18.000 I'm taking a picture of... 0.99

00:19:19.000 He's drawing dicks on his pad. 0.75

00:19:22.000 Of Dunkin' Doodles, man.

00:19:23.000 We have pads now.

00:19:24.000 We're trying to be very sophisticated.

00:19:27.000 The pads are great if you need to write something down in the middle of a show.

00:19:29.000 I always wanted to have something like that.

00:19:30.000 I've got preemptive multitasking written down here.

00:19:33.000 I'm going to remember that.

00:19:35.000 It might be a totally made-up thing.

00:19:37.000 That's how I avoid writing.

00:19:38.000 Your friend's cows are paranoid, huh?

00:19:40.000 Oh, dude. 1.00

00:19:41.000 We went into his yard where the cows are, and the cows fucking run from you. 0.99

00:19:44.000 And they run from you, and this idea that people like to have of eating grass-fed meat is being totally cool. 1.00

00:19:53.000 Listen, grain-fed cows, bullshit. 0.98

00:19:56.000 But organic grass-fed meat, hey, those cows lived a great life. 1.00

00:19:59.000 Guess what?

00:20:00.000 No, they don't.

00:20:01.000 They live in fear. 1.00

00:20:02.000 Those fucking things are penned in, and you don't think they know that every now and then one of them disappears? 0.99

00:20:06.000 Did you ever read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? 0.99

00:20:10.000 It's a futuristic...

00:20:11.000 There was a restaurant called The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, and you could go to that restaurant and watch the universe end like somehow it was in a time portal, but cows would come to your table.

00:20:23.000 And they could talk and they would suggest which parts of them you should eat.

00:20:28.000 Oh my god, that's so creepy.

00:20:30.000 If the world keeps going the way it's going, that will eventually happen.

00:20:34.000 We'll eventually bestow upon cows the ability to want to die, have no problem serving humans, give them a very simple mind, and then have them trot around on two legs and walk around on their hind feet and explain what parts of their body they want you to eat.

00:20:47.000 That's it.

00:20:48.000 Yeah, they don't even have to die right away, right?

00:20:50.000 They can just have amputations.

00:20:52.000 So it keeps it really fresh.

00:20:53.000 Yeah, that could be. 0.99

00:20:55.000 I feel like we're talking about the fucking military, too. 0.97

00:20:58.000 There's a cartoon, I think it was in the New Yorker, it had a little frog coming out of the kitchen in a restaurant, right? 0.98

00:21:05.000 Come through the door and he's on a skateboard and he's got the two things like this and it says special frog legs.

00:21:12.000 Man, that's harsh.

00:21:14.000 Oh, that's rough.

00:21:15.000 That would be worse, though.

00:21:16.000 You'd have to actually take off the pelvis. 1.00

00:21:17.000 I mean, you're not just cutting off.

00:21:19.000 You're cutting off the leg at the socket for a frog leg.

00:21:21.000 That's an amazing thing when you've convinced something to want to die.

00:21:25.000 Once you've done that, you are in control. 1.00

00:21:29.000 If you've got a being that you have convinced to die for you, fuck. 1.00

00:21:34.000 So powerful. 1.00

00:21:36.000 Just call him a hero.

00:21:38.000 Yeah, call him a hero cow.

00:21:40.000 The sale would be that these cows have no problem dying.

00:21:44.000 They actually want to die, and they have no fear.

00:21:47.000 So what we're worried about is pain and fear.

00:21:50.000 Oh, we remove their pain sensors.

00:21:52.000 They don't feel any pain.

00:21:53.000 They just wander around, and when you take them into the back room to slaughter them, it doesn't even freak out their friends. 0.98

00:21:58.000 They have an orgasm the whole way through. 0.99

00:22:00.000 It's like an ecstasy trip.

00:22:02.000 What about laboratory meat?

00:22:03.000 Have you seen this?

00:22:04.000 That they're growing meat in a laboratory?

00:22:06.000 It's incredibly expensive. 0.97

00:22:07.000 So that's got no brain at all. 0.96

00:22:08.000 Right. 0.98

00:22:08.000 Right? 0.98

00:22:09.000 So the fear and the pain are removed. 1.00

00:22:11.000 It probably tastes like shit. 0.99

00:22:12.000 It's not as fun, you know? 1.00

00:22:14.000 Not as fun.

00:22:15.000 It's a blast.

00:22:16.000 For whom?

00:22:17.000 Not as fun for the person that gets to kill the animal.

00:22:19.000 Well, you know, they're going to, I mean, right now, I don't know what kind of meat they're growing, but eventually they're going to grow human meat.

00:22:25.000 Oh, for sure.

00:22:25.000 And the question's going to be, if you grow human meat in a lab, is it okay to eat then?

00:22:30.000 Yeah, for sure that's coming, right?

00:22:31.000 I feel like.

00:22:33.000 Or is that cannibalism?

00:22:34.000 Very interesting.

00:22:35.000 Because it didn't come off a human, it just was grown.

00:22:38.000 It'll certainly be thought of as cannibalism by a lot of people. 0.62

00:22:41.000 You know what's really interesting about cannibalism?

00:22:44.000 Do you know what causes cannibalism?

00:22:48.000 Hunger?

00:23:09.000 He wrote about how he studied different islands in the South Pacific, some of which were cannibalistic and some of which weren't in different societies around the world.

00:23:18.000 And what he found was that the societies that were cannibalistic had no domesticable animal that didn't eat the same food as humans. 0.99

00:23:28.000 In other words, you aren't going to raise dogs for meat because dogs eat the same shit that humans eat, right? 0.99

00:23:34.000 You want to raise animals for meat like goats That don't eat stuff that humans eat. 0.99

00:23:39.000 So they're not competing for the same original food source, right?

00:23:42.000 Then it's supplementary food, right?

00:23:44.000 So, like, if you look at the Aztecs, there was nothing in Mexico that they could raise, that they could domesticate and raise for meat that didn't eat what humans ate. 0.57

00:23:52.000 So they were protein-starved.

00:23:54.000 So when they were in a battle and they killed a bunch of dudes, they would eat them.

00:23:57.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:23:58.000 Right?

00:23:59.000 Whereas Europeans who killed just as many people, if not more, weren't eating them.

00:24:03.000 Then consider that a sacrilege because in Europe you had pigs, you had goats, you had chickens, you had all these things that were easy to domesticate that humans had been living on for a long time.

00:24:12.000 So it's really a historical accident who's cannibalistic and who isn't.

00:24:17.000 Could you imagine if you were a European settler trying to make it across the country during the days of the Native Americans? 0.78

00:24:27.000 Like when, you know, 1700s, 1600s, whenever they did that.

00:24:31.000 And you'd after the first wave that had already gone over and basically committed genocide on many populations.

00:24:37.000 And so you were the enemy.

00:24:38.000 And you were trying to make it across the country without running into one of these people that might eat you.

00:24:44.000 Yeah.

00:24:44.000 You mean like a wagon train kind of people?

00:24:47.000 Yeah.

00:24:47.000 The Comanches.

00:24:48.000 Oh, yeah.

00:24:48.000 I mean, the Nez Perce, apparently, according to Steve Rinella.

00:24:51.000 My friend Steve Rinella is a real historian on Native American history and just the history of the colonization of this country.

00:25:00.000 But he told me these great stories about the Nez Perce Indians who were known for cannibalism. 1.00

00:25:06.000 They would butcher people.

00:25:08.000 Really? 0.60

00:25:08.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.60

00:25:09.000 They would eat them like the same way they would eat cattle. 0.98

00:25:11.000 So if they would catch people, some enemy or something like that, they would kill them and eat them. 0.53

00:25:15.000 And they made a regular habit of it.

00:25:17.000 And not only that, they would play games.

00:25:20.000 Like they told this one dude, they took all his clothes off and they let him run.

00:25:25.000 And they said, if you can get away, you can survive.

00:25:27.000 And they killed his friend in front of him, butchered him, started eating him.

00:25:30.000 And they told him...

00:25:32.000 If he can get away, they're going to give him a 20 minute head start or whatever count they had, if he can get away.

00:25:38.000 And the guy survived.

00:25:39.000 The guy made it to the river, went into a beaver den, naked, swam up into a beaver den to hide.

00:25:46.000 Yeah, naked.

00:25:47.000 Was the beaver in there?

00:25:48.000 It might have been. 0.51

00:25:50.000 Think how bad that would suck if you get eaten by a beaver running from cannibals. 0.81

00:25:56.000 A beaver just killed a person recently. 0.90

00:25:57.000 I believe it.

00:25:58.000 They're scary, dangerous creatures, man.

00:26:00.000 They chomp through trees.

00:26:02.000 A hunter got killed by a beaver.

00:26:03.000 He got bitten by a beaver in the leg and he bled out. 1.00

00:26:05.000 Like, you don't realize this thing can take a fucking tree down with its face. 1.00

00:26:08.000 Yes. 1.00

00:26:09.000 Beavers, you don't want to get bitten by a fucking beaver. 1.00

00:26:11.000 No, you don't. 1.00

00:26:12.000 So this asshole climbs into this beaver den naked, okay, to get away from these Nez Perce Indians, and then he winds up walking some, like, 100 miles or some fucking crazy shit. 1.00

00:26:22.000 Naked. 1.00

00:26:22.000 Almost starving to death, just eating what he could find and kill along the way, naked. 1.00

00:26:28.000 Naked. 1.00

00:26:28.000 Badass. 1.00

00:26:29.000 Just to get the fuck away from these Nez Perce Indians who ate his friend in front of him. 1.00

00:26:32.000 So that sounds more like the Iroquois. 0.99

00:26:35.000 That sounds like eastern... 1.00

00:26:36.000 Look at this fucking beaver. 1.00

00:26:37.000 Oh, a beaver attack. 1.00

00:26:39.000 Yeah, look at that muddy little devil. 1.00

00:26:41.000 Look at it.

00:26:42.000 It's ready to defend its turf.

00:26:43.000 It's stalking.

00:26:44.000 That's weird.

00:26:45.000 Jesus Christ.

00:26:46.000 Run! 0.68

00:26:46.000 Is that a beaver? 0.68

00:26:49.000 Yeah, that looks like a beaver.

00:26:51.000 Yeah, it's got the flat tail. 0.99

00:26:51.000 That's a beaver that's going to fuck you up. 0.99

00:26:53.000 I mean, beavers can eat trees, man. 1.00

00:26:56.000 You don't want to fuck with a beaver. 0.99

00:26:58.000 And this guy was so scared of these Indians, he climbed into the beaver's house in the water in the night. 1.00

00:27:02.000 In the night.

00:27:03.000 Because if you find one of these beaver dens, like Ronella showed me how to find them, when you're going down the river, you see these stacks of sticks, this weird sort of formation.

00:27:11.000 He's like, that's a beaver den.

00:27:12.000 And you could tell by looking at it whether or not it's used or whether it's abandoned. 0.99

00:27:16.000 But this guy didn't know that shit because it was at nighttime. 1.00

00:27:19.000 So he's running down this road and just jumps into the river and finds a beaver den and just says, fuck it, let's take a chance. 1.00

00:27:25.000 Swims up into it in the middle of the night. 1.00

00:27:27.000 Fucking A, man. 0.99

00:27:28.000 They're so cool beavers when you consider that how... 1.00

00:27:31.000 Radically they change environments.

00:27:33.000 That they make lakes happen.

00:27:35.000 That's amazing.

00:27:36.000 They actually make lakes. 0.54

00:27:38.000 There's a great documentary on beavers that I saw.

00:27:41.000 Why do they call vaginas beavers? 1.00

00:27:42.000 That's one of those things I've always kind of like. 0.91

00:27:44.000 Fur.

00:27:45.000 It's the old days.

00:27:46.000 It used to be fur.

00:27:47.000 But so many other things have fur.

00:27:48.000 Did you see that thing that they had on Vimeo recently?

00:27:51.000 It's been going around the internet, how wolves change the course of rivers.

00:27:54.000 Yeah, I saw that.

00:27:55.000 It's amazing.

00:27:56.000 You haven't seen it?

00:27:57.000 No.

00:27:57.000 Oh my god, Duncan, you gotta see this.

00:27:59.000 It's incredible.

00:28:00.000 Yeah.

00:28:00.000 It's a piece, play a little expert.

00:28:03.000 It's Yellowstone.

00:28:04.000 It's Yellowstone, and the introduction of wolves...

00:28:07.000 They've dwindled the population of deer and elk down, and because they've made the populations lower, the soil around rivers has gotten less erosion because more plants are growing on it, and then more rodents are surviving,

00:28:25.000 more rabbits are surviving, and then more bears, and bears kill the fawns, and it changes literally because of the fact that there's more beavers.

00:28:34.000 It's changing the course of the river itself.

00:28:37.000 Yeah, they're amazing.

00:28:38.000 Wolves?

00:28:39.000 It's amazing.

00:28:40.000 They're predation.

00:28:41.000 ...has been the discovery of widespread trophic cascades.

00:28:46.000 A trophic cascade is an ecological process which starts at the top of the food chain and tumbles all the way down to the bottom.

00:28:55.000 Oh, that's cool.

00:28:56.000 And the classic example is what happens...

00:28:58.000 This is so badass.

00:28:58.000 And more badass because this guy has an English accent.

00:29:01.000 ...when wolves were reintroduced in 1995. Now, we all know that wolves kill various species of animals, but perhaps we're slightly less aware that they give life to many others.

00:29:18.000 Before the wolves turned up, they'd been absent for 70 years.

00:29:22.000 The numbers of deer, because there was nothing to hunt them, had built up and built up in the Yellowstone Park.

00:29:27.000 And despite efforts by humans to control them, they'd managed to reduce much of the vegetation there to almost nothing.

00:29:34.000 They'd just grazed it away.

00:29:36.000 But as soon as the wolves arrived, even though they were few in number, they started to have the most remarkable effects.

00:29:44.000 First, of course, they killed some of the deer, but that wasn't the major thing.

00:29:48.000 Much more significantly, they radically changed the behaviour of the deer.

00:29:53.000 The deer started avoiding certain parts of the park, the places where they could be trapped most easily, particularly the valleys and the gorges.

00:30:01.000 And immediately, those places started to regenerate.

00:30:04.000 In some areas, the height of the trees quintupled In just six years, their valley size quickly became forests of aspen and willow and cottonwood.

00:30:16.000 And as soon as that happened, the birds started moving in.

00:30:20.000 The number of songbirds and migratory birds started to increase greatly.

00:30:25.000 The number of beavers started to increase because beavers like to eat the trees.

00:30:30.000 And beavers, like wolves, are ecosystem engineers.

00:30:33.000 They create niches for other species.

00:30:35.000 And the dams they built in the rivers provided habitats for otters, muskrats, and ducks, and fish, and reptiles, and amphibians.

00:30:44.000 You know he went to a fancy school and he was paddled.

00:30:49.000 The number of rabbits and mice began to rise, which meant more hawks, more weasels, more foxes, more badgers.

00:30:57.000 Ravens and bald eagles came down to feed on the carrion that the wolves had left.

00:31:01.000 Bears fed on it too, and their population began to rise as well, partly also because there were more berries growing on the regenerating shrubs.

00:31:10.000 And the bears reinforced the impact of the wolves by killing some of the calves of the deer.

00:31:18.000 But here's where it gets really interesting. 0.93

00:31:20.000 My erection began to grow with the wolves.

00:31:24.000 We should probably not play all of this video because it's theirs. 0.89

00:31:28.000 It's not ours.

00:31:29.000 But that's a fascinating thing.

00:31:32.000 And you only hear one side of that.

00:31:34.000 You hear that the wolves are dangerous.

00:31:36.000 People are scared.

00:31:36.000 The wolf population is growing.

00:31:38.000 And that's the part I usually hear.

00:31:40.000 But it's fascinating to hear that all this was going on as well.

00:31:43.000 You know what I was thinking when we were listening to that is how much pleasure that guy was taking in his own accent.

00:31:48.000 And it's something I often notice with British people and French, not so much Spanish, and I don't notice it with Americans speaking English.

00:31:56.000 I never get into how my voice sounds while I'm speaking the way that guy obviously was.

00:32:03.000 Right.

00:32:03.000 But he's a presenter.

00:32:05.000 He's trying to be dramatic, don't you think?

00:32:06.000 He was trying to, yeah, he was like the Lord of the Forest or something.

00:32:10.000 That guy should do every nature documentary ever.

00:32:12.000 I love it.

00:32:13.000 That's what I think.

00:32:14.000 His voice made me more excited.

00:32:15.000 He kept calling it the Yellowstone.

00:32:18.000 The Barry.

00:32:19.000 The Yellowstone.

00:32:21.000 Well, if you know.

00:32:22.000 But the British have, I mean, their accent is much more tied into identity.

00:32:27.000 And I think different parts of identity than American accent.

00:32:30.000 Yeah.

00:32:30.000 American accent is regional.

00:32:32.000 Whereas the British accents are regional but also class-based.

00:32:36.000 So that guy, in speaking the way he's speaking, is telling you he went to Eton, and then he went to Cambridge, and his parents had lots of money, and his family's had lots of money for a long time.

00:32:46.000 A British person listens to three words and knows where that guy's from, where he went to school, his whole scene.

00:32:51.000 Really?

00:32:52.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:32:53.000 So it's sort of like we can recognize accents from the South.

00:32:57.000 Yeah, right.

00:32:58.000 All we have is regional, and we don't even have that much because we all grew up watching a lot of the same TV shows.

00:33:03.000 There's still regional.

00:33:04.000 There is, yeah.

00:33:06.000 If you have any friends in New York or Boston or Baltimore, Baltimore's a weird one.

00:33:11.000 They've got a weird sort of half-Southern thing going on down there.

00:33:14.000 But there's no, I don't think there's any equivalent in England to like my accent, right?

00:33:21.000 You hear me talk, you don't know where I'm from.

00:33:22.000 You don't know any of my parents had money, didn't have money where I grew up, nothing, right?

00:33:27.000 There's nothing like that in England.

00:33:28.000 You talk, people know.

00:33:30.000 That's interesting.

00:33:31.000 Yeah.

00:33:31.000 I like those...

00:33:32.000 You know, there's linguists who can listen to your accent.

00:33:35.000 Not everybody, but apparently there's people who are trained to listen to any accent, and they can tell you within, like, 50 miles where you lived.

00:33:43.000 A lot of the time, they're really good at it.

00:33:45.000 Like, they can identify...

00:33:47.000 They're trained to do that.

00:33:48.000 They're, like, forensics people, you know?

00:33:50.000 Like, if you hear someone's voice, it says everything about them.

00:33:53.000 There's some words that are indicators, too, like...

00:33:56.000 I lived in western Pennsylvania when I was a kid for a while.

00:33:59.000 And there's some words I'll say, like if someone's trained that way, that they can pick it up like... 0.99

00:34:03.000 I hate black people. 1.00

00:34:04.000 Like that? 1.00

00:34:06.000 You can identify where someone's from when they say that.

00:34:08.000 This guy over here.

00:34:10.000 Can you though?

00:34:11.000 You can't.

00:34:12.000 No, you can't.

00:34:13.000 Well, no, I mean, there are stereotypes for that, you know, because there are, like, there's bigots everywhere, but there is a stereotype.

00:34:21.000 There's a lot of stereotypes attached to, like, a rebel flag on your truck.

00:34:27.000 It says a lot.

00:34:28.000 It does.

00:34:31.000 You are sort of like, when you're saying like the South will rise again, you are pointing to a time when slavery was okay. 0.84

00:34:39.000 Hey, that's how you see it, my friend.

00:34:42.000 What I see is a bunch of people that are very proud about the Southern heritage.

00:34:46.000 They like that part of the country.

00:34:47.000 I was raised in the South.

00:34:49.000 I love that part of the country.

00:34:50.000 I really do.

00:34:51.000 I would like the South to rise again, minus the slavery.

00:34:54.000 So you're Neil Young and you're Lynyrd Skynyrd in this conversation.

00:34:59.000 Why does that have to be included?

00:35:02.000 What, the slavery?

00:35:03.000 Yeah, why does it have to be included in the South?

00:35:05.000 Well, because that flag, that's why everyone has a problem with that flag, because that flag indicates a war that was partially fought over keeping slaves, over the right to keep slaves.

00:35:17.000 Like, you wanted to keep your slaves.

00:35:19.000 Right. 0.99

00:35:19.000 And these sons of bitches up north were telling you that you couldn't do that anymore, and that's a big problem for your economy. 0.99

00:35:26.000 Because, you know, you weren't just making money from the slaves working, but the slave trade itself, you were making tons of money, too. 0.99

00:35:33.000 So, therefore, that flag just inherently spells racism.

00:35:37.000 It doesn't have to.

00:35:38.000 No, but it does, though, to me.

00:35:39.000 I mean, a lot of times, it just does.

00:35:41.000 I mean, I'm a pretty open guy, but if I see that flag, I think racism.

00:35:45.000 Well, yeah.

00:35:46.000 It's like anytime people...

00:35:47.000 Yeah, it's a problem.

00:35:49.000 It's unavoidable, right?

00:35:50.000 It's unavoidable because that's what happens.

00:35:52.000 It's like anytime you see the swastika, you don't think Ganesh.

00:35:56.000 Exactly.

00:35:57.000 Isn't that funny?

00:35:57.000 Yeah, you think Nazis.

00:36:00.000 Yeah, if you try to have a swastika tattooed on your body today, you're a real piece of shit. 1.00

00:36:04.000 But at one point in time, swastika was in the Eastern... 1.00

00:36:09.000 Many different...

00:36:10.000 There were some Native American people.

00:36:12.000 Hindu, Native Americans, yeah.

00:36:14.000 It was an old symbol.

00:36:15.000 In fact, that old symbol, there's a place in somewhere in the valley, like Canoga Park or something like that.

00:36:20.000 There's this really old place that was built by people from India.

00:36:25.000 And there's swastikas on it.

00:36:26.000 And they have a big sign there explaining...

00:36:29.000 Yeah, look at this.

00:36:30.000 Ganesh with a swastika.

00:36:32.000 They had a big sign there explaining what the original meaning of that symbol means.

00:36:37.000 Because today, that's the symbol of hate.

00:36:39.000 Yep.

00:36:40.000 Which is crazy.

00:36:41.000 I heard there's some movement that's trying to take the swastika out of the Nazi idea.

00:36:49.000 They want to bring the symbol back somehow.

00:36:51.000 There's people who are trying to show that it's...

00:36:54.000 You can't. 0.99

00:36:54.000 Hitler fucked up that mustache and he fucked up the swastika. 0.99

00:36:58.000 Those two things you'll never see again. 0.99

00:37:00.000 He really did. 1.00

00:37:01.000 He was such a cunt. 1.00

00:37:02.000 You can't wear the same mustache as him. 1.00

00:37:03.000 Think about how many people with regular mustaches are just total pieces of shit and it's okay to wear that mustache. 1.00

00:37:08.000 You don't get associated with that person's behavior. 1.00

00:37:11.000 Some comedian had a bit about whether there were lots of Germans named Hitler.

00:37:16.000 Because now you never meet anyone whose last name is Hitler.

00:37:21.000 Hitler's descendants decided not to have kids. 0.69

00:37:25.000 There was a decision.

00:37:25.000 Oh, really?

00:37:26.000 Yeah, something like that.

00:37:27.000 What?

00:37:28.000 Interesting.

00:37:29.000 To end the family line?

00:37:31.000 Do you guys think Hitler actually died?

00:37:34.000 Or do you believe the idea that he went to South America?

00:37:37.000 Did you hear that?

00:37:37.000 That's the most recent one.

00:37:38.000 The FBI saying that Hitler went to Argentina.

00:37:40.000 The FBI is saying that.

00:37:42.000 It's one of those internet things.

00:37:45.000 I'm not saying that the FBI. I'm saying it's one of those internet things where someone has supposedly found a freedom of information article from 1947 that shows that Hitler escaped in a fucking submarine. 0.99

00:37:57.000 I think he might have. 0.97

00:37:58.000 Why not?

00:37:59.000 It's all redacted.

00:38:00.000 Half of it's redacted.

00:38:02.000 Look, this is it. 0.78

00:38:03.000 Get the fuck out of here with this. 0.96

00:38:04.000 This is a piece of paper that someone put online. 0.98

00:38:07.000 That's what that is. 1.00

00:38:08.000 Unless I hear better, Hitler is not in fucking Argentina, you assholes. 1.00

00:38:13.000 Not anymore. 1.00

00:38:14.000 They found his body, didn't they?

00:38:16.000 He was kind of cute at that age.

00:38:18.000 Sorry, he just had the picture of Hitler.

00:38:20.000 He looked a bit like, you know.

00:38:21.000 He was sultry.

00:38:22.000 Joe, would you have spanked him? 1.00

00:38:25.000 No.

00:38:26.000 Good God!

00:38:27.000 I'd have been afraid of him. 0.99

00:38:30.000 Yeah, that guy fucked up a lot of things. 0.99

00:38:32.000 But I don't know, man. 0.99

00:38:33.000 I kind of believe he escaped.

00:38:35.000 Why don't you believe that?

00:38:37.000 Well, just because it's Hitler. 0.88

00:38:38.000 So what?

00:38:39.000 Because if you're Hitler... 0.79

00:38:40.000 How's it going to get out of there, man?

00:38:44.000 An escape tunnel.

00:38:45.000 There was no body?

00:38:47.000 No, the body, apparently the body that they found, the dental records or the body itself was not the body of a man.

00:38:53.000 It was like a woman's body. 0.99

00:38:54.000 There's like...

00:38:55.000 What?

00:38:56.000 Yeah, look it up. 1.00

00:38:58.000 No, you look it up, bitch. 1.00

00:39:00.000 You're the one with the crazy story. 1.00

00:39:01.000 If I look it up, then it'll be disproven.

00:39:05.000 I don't want to look it up.

00:39:06.000 They say that they incinerated his body, or supposedly his body was set on fire, and then the bones don't match the bones of a male, and then he went to South America and lived a really good life.

00:39:18.000 You really believe that?

00:39:19.000 Well, a lot of Nazis definitely did go to South America.

00:39:22.000 Yeah.

00:39:22.000 That's a fact.

00:39:23.000 And a lot of Nazis got hired by Nassau.

00:39:25.000 Yeah.

00:39:26.000 Oh, yeah.

00:39:26.000 Operation Paperclip.

00:39:27.000 Bring him to California.

00:39:28.000 Wernher von Braun, in fact.

00:39:30.000 The Simon Wiesenthal Center said that if Wernher von Braun was alive today, he'd be prosecuted for crimes against humanity.

00:39:35.000 Jesus.

00:39:36.000 Stop and think about that. 0.82

00:39:37.000 The guy who was the head of NASA was a hardcore Nazi. 0.71

00:39:40.000 They hung the five slowest workers, whether it was every day or once a week, whatever it was.

00:39:47.000 They would hang them in front of their rocket factory in Berlin.

00:39:50.000 They would just take the five slowest workers and hang them.

00:39:52.000 And one of the guys, there was a documentary that this guy did on the moon landings, and he started interviewing people that were in the concentration camps that knew, like, had seen Wernher von Braun walk in, had seen all these different, like, high-level Nazi scientists walk in.

00:40:08.000 There's the rocket factories.

00:40:09.000 Wernher von Braun's rocket factories used Jewish slaves and murdered them. 1.00

00:40:13.000 So, I mean, he's a fucking, he was a monster, and he was the head of NASA. Jesus. 1.00

00:40:19.000 Yeah, he was a real monster.

00:40:21.000 I mean, people try to sugarcoat that because of the fact the guy did amazing things with rocketry.

00:40:25.000 But, you know, it's, well, it wasn't his idea.

00:40:27.000 Well, you got to understand that.

00:40:28.000 Please. 0.99

00:40:29.000 They hung the five slowest fucking people in front of his rocket factory in Berlin. 0.99

00:40:35.000 And then the United States took him aboard. 0.99

00:40:37.000 That tendency to sugarcoat murder is so fucked up and it happens all the time and it's really an odd thing. 0.99

00:40:45.000 It's a black and white thing. 0.99

00:40:46.000 People want someone to be good or evil. 0.99

00:40:48.000 They don't want someone to be evil and also amazing because that's too fucked up. 0.99

00:40:53.000 If you're good or you're bad. 0.98

00:40:56.000 That's why they sugarcoat.

00:40:57.000 And that's why they defend. 0.99

00:40:59.000 There was a recent thing where someone was talking about this guy who had done a bunch of fucked up shit and lied about a bunch of things. 0.98

00:41:07.000 And his friends were saying, yeah, but what about this? 0.99

00:41:10.000 He did this.

00:41:11.000 They were saying all these positive things that he did.

00:41:13.000 I'm like, that doesn't matter.

00:41:14.000 He still did those other things.

00:41:16.000 It doesn't make those other things non-existent. 0.97

00:41:19.000 If you're doing something fucked up, you're cheating people, you're lying, whatever you're doing, you're fucking people over, you're doing something evil to people. 0.83

00:41:27.000 If you're also doing something good, it doesn't mean you didn't do the evil thing. 0.98

00:41:31.000 They don't go away.

00:41:33.000 And vice versa.

00:41:34.000 Vice versa as well.

00:41:36.000 There's some saying, we judge our heroes by their finest moment and our criminals by their worst. 1.00

00:41:41.000 So you're a great guy, you fuck up, you do one thing, whatever. 0.99

00:41:45.000 And that's how we judge you for the rest of your life. 0.99

00:41:48.000 Yeah, I've met some people that have committed some fucked up crimes and they turned out to be really good people. 0.94

00:41:53.000 Joey Diaz is a perfect example. 0.97

00:41:55.000 You know, if you look at Joey Diaz on paper, he went to jail for armed kidnapping of a drug dealer with a machine gun. 1.00

00:42:01.000 I mean, he did some crazy fucking shit. 0.99

00:42:03.000 But if you know Joey Diaz as a human being, he's one of the sweetest guys you'll ever meet in your life. 1.00

00:42:08.000 He's so friendly.

00:42:10.000 He's so funny.

00:42:11.000 I mean, every time the phone rings and it's Joey, I get excited to talk to him.

00:42:15.000 But if you just looked at him on that instance of his life, in a cocaine-fueled rage, kidnap some guy, you would think he's a terrible person.

00:42:25.000 Yeah, that's a strange thing, isn't it?

00:42:27.000 When, like, somebody gets convicted of something that they did, and then they've done, like, 20 years in prison, and they're probably different.

00:42:34.000 They've probably changed, but they have to stay in there for their entire lives.

00:42:38.000 A lot of young men.

00:42:39.000 I don't know if you guys, if we talked about this, but a couple weeks ago I interviewed a guy named Bruce Lisker for my podcast who was in prison in California.

00:42:47.000 San Quentin, for a lot of it, for 26 and a half years for killing his mother when he was 17, which he did not do.

00:42:57.000 And man, he is amazing.

00:42:59.000 He's an amazing dude.

00:43:00.000 He's like, he is so not bitter.

00:43:03.000 It's unbelievable.

00:43:04.000 And I asked him at the beginning of the podcast, I was like, dude, when...

00:43:08.000 I thought when I met you that I would be sitting next to a ticking time bomb of a guy explosive with rage, and you're so chilled out.

00:43:17.000 I feel like I'm sitting here with Mandela.

00:43:19.000 And he said, they tried to destroy my life for 26 and a half years.

00:43:23.000 I'm not going to finish the job for them.

00:43:25.000 Wow, cool.

00:43:27.000 He's a great guy.

00:43:28.000 He's right near here, if either of you want to meet him.

00:43:30.000 He's a wonderful dude. 1.00

00:43:31.000 Man, I love that attitude, because that attitude is saying, fuck you to your past. 1.00

00:43:36.000 And it's like, you know, because when you meet people who are rationalizing being an asshole from their past, you know, they have this story they keep telling about their shitty family, their abusive parents, their awful, whatever it is. 1.00

00:43:50.000 You have empathy for them, but simultaneously you realize how they're recreating that story every time they bring it up, every time they talk about this awful thing that happened to them. 0.89

00:44:00.000 It's like in Buddhism it's compared to making a necklace, like beading a necklace, and every moment you're sort of recreating yourself again and again and again.

00:44:10.000 And when people have experiences like that and they're like, no.

00:44:13.000 I'm not gonna let that be the anchor that pulls me down into a negative life.

00:44:17.000 I can reinvent myself in this very moment right now, regardless of whatever happened to me, regardless of my past, that's all gone.

00:44:27.000 It's really cool.

00:44:47.000 You know, and his experience of prison was very moving and not really what I was expecting.

00:44:56.000 Like he said, you know, sexual abuse and that sort of thing was not an issue for him.

00:45:02.000 And fighting like four or five times, he had to like stand up to someone. 0.98

00:45:07.000 And he said he got, I think, if I remember correctly, he said like he got his ass kicked, but he had to establish that there was a limit. 0.97

00:45:13.000 You couldn't push him past. 0.99

00:45:15.000 That was...

00:45:15.000 The main thing.

00:45:16.000 But he's a cool guy.

00:45:18.000 And yeah, the way I met him was that what happened was his father died.

00:45:24.000 His father never believed that he killed his mother. 0.99

00:45:26.000 And in fact, the way he got into it was so fucked up. 0.99

00:45:29.000 He's 17. He goes in. 0.99

00:45:31.000 The detective who was running the investigation just had a bug up his ass and decided he did it and would not be swayed from that conclusion, right? 0.98

00:45:41.000 But there was no evidence. 1.00

00:45:43.000 The evidence was manufactured, fucked around. 0.97

00:45:45.000 Anyway, so what they told him was, plead out. 0.82

00:45:48.000 And they said, you're 17, you say you did it, you'll do juvie for a year or two, then you'll do one or two years in a medium security, and you're out, right?

00:45:58.000 So he took the advice.

00:45:59.000 His father encouraged him to take the advice from the lawyer.

00:46:02.000 He pleaded guilty, went in, and then he started getting interviewed by psychiatrists, prison psychiatrists, right?

00:46:09.000 And they kept reporting that he wasn't showing remorse.

00:46:12.000 Well, of course he's not showing remorse.

00:46:13.000 He didn't do it!

00:46:15.000 Right.

00:46:15.000 Right?

00:46:16.000 So this charade that he could just sign the paper and go in for a few years and be out was bullshit because he had to go through 100% and actually act as if he had done it and he was so remorseful and crying and oh my god. 0.99

00:46:30.000 And he couldn't do that because the guy's got some fucking integrity, right? 0.98

00:46:33.000 So that's why he was in for 26 and a half years. 0.98

00:46:37.000 Oh my god.

00:46:38.000 Yeah, and so his father died and he left some money, 15 grand or something, and he used that money to hire a private detective to go back and sort of refigure, look at the evidence again. 0.97

00:46:49.000 This guy did, ran, blew through the money, but the detective, by the time the money was gone, was like convinced that this was all bullshit. 0.99

00:46:56.000 So he was like, fuck it, I'm doing it pro bono. 1.00

00:46:59.000 And he kept going at it. 0.99

00:47:00.000 And then he got a couple of guys from the LA Times to write about the case.

00:47:05.000 And my aunt saw the article and sent $100 to the fund to help him.

00:47:10.000 And they became friends.

00:47:12.000 And that's how I got to know him.

00:47:13.000 Wow.

00:47:13.000 Cool.

00:47:14.000 That's incredible.

00:47:15.000 Yeah.

00:47:15.000 That's incredible.

00:47:16.000 So what happens when a prosecutor does something evil like that?

00:47:19.000 Is that guy criminally responsible now?

00:47:22.000 No, the detective.

00:47:24.000 Well, not the prosecutor.

00:47:25.000 Whoever was.

00:47:25.000 Because the prosecutor is relying on the evidence presented by the police, right?

00:47:29.000 So the detective was the one who's setting him up.

00:47:32.000 Who set him up, who lied about the evidence, who then...

00:47:35.000 Here's the kicker, as Bruce said.

00:47:38.000 The guy who got me thrown into jail got me out.

00:47:41.000 And the way he got me out was by pushing too hard.

00:47:44.000 Because what he did was this same detective throughout his career, every time Bruce's case came up for parole...

00:47:51.000 Or probation, I don't know which it is.

00:47:55.000 This guy would come to the hearing, and you talk about how terrible he was, how evil he was, and blah, blah, blah.

00:48:02.000 He came to a hearing like 25 years into it, and he said, not only is this guy definitely guilty, but I have found more evidence now, 25 years later, because there was money missing from the mother.

00:48:15.000 And so one of the ideas was the motive was to rob his mother of a couple hundred dollars.

00:48:20.000 And this detective said, I went back and I got into the house, you know, new owners and all that, and they claimed that they had found the money and In the crawl space in this kid's former bedroom.

00:48:32.000 Right?

00:48:33.000 So, you know, now the case is even stronger than it was 25 years ago.

00:48:37.000 Denied.

00:48:38.000 Bomb.

00:48:38.000 That this detective goes back, interviews all the people who had owned the house, and they all said, we never called the police.

00:48:45.000 We never found any money.

00:48:46.000 I have no idea what that guy's talking about. 0.99

00:48:49.000 The detective just made that shit up. 1.00

00:48:51.000 Wow. 1.00

00:49:04.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:49:11.000 Oh my God. 1.00

00:49:12.000 So the guy's entire career was just setting people up and treating them like a commodity.

00:49:16.000 Nobody knows.

00:49:17.000 And you know why nobody knows?

00:49:18.000 Because the LAPD is not investigating.

00:49:21.000 They're not opening up his cases.

00:49:23.000 They're not going back and looking at this.

00:49:24.000 What?

00:49:25.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:49:25.000 It's a fucked up thing, man. 0.99

00:49:27.000 So this guy, I mean, listen to the podcast. 0.99

00:49:29.000 If anyone who's interested, it's on my podcast, Tangentially Speaking.

00:49:32.000 It's like two or three episodes back.

00:49:34.000 Bruce Lisker.

00:49:35.000 He tells the whole story. 1.00

00:49:36.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

00:49:37.000 It's fucked up. 1.00

00:49:37.000 This cop is retired with full benefits. 1.00

00:49:40.000 Okay.

00:49:40.000 Oh my god!

00:49:41.000 How is that possible?

00:49:43.000 That's a criminal!

00:49:44.000 They did an internal investigation for about a year to turn in the results, right?

00:49:51.000 This guy from Internal Affairs, who's an honorable cop, did the investigation.

00:49:57.000 Found that this case was definitely a setup, right?

00:50:00.000 Only looking at this one case, right? 0.99

00:50:02.000 Definitely a setup, complete bullshit, manufactured evidence, etc. 0.91

00:50:06.000 A couple weeks before the year was over and the report would be officially filed, his superiors took him off the case and squashed it. 0.96

00:50:14.000 No report was ever filed.

00:50:16.000 Jesus.

00:50:17.000 Oh my God.

00:50:17.000 And the cop who led that investigation, I said to him, Bruce, like, have you been in touch with this guy?

00:50:23.000 How's his career going?

00:50:24.000 He said he's shunned by the police.

00:50:26.000 So he's still working, but nobody's pals with him. 1.00

00:50:31.000 What the fuck? 0.99

00:50:33.000 It's that culture. 1.00

00:50:35.000 Well, it's that culture of, you know, shunning rats, you know, culture of going after the people that investigate.

00:50:42.000 But if those people didn't investigate, look what happened in Miami during, you ever see the movie Cocaine Cowboys?

00:50:49.000 Documentary about Miami?

00:50:50.000 Miami was so crazy at one point in time that the entire police graduating squad of, you know, the whatever, the academy, the police academy, graduating class, the entire group was either arrested for corruption or murdered.

00:51:05.000 Wow.

00:51:06.000 Is this when Don Johnson was on the force?

00:51:08.000 No, no.

00:51:09.000 I mean, I guess probably it was about that era. 0.98

00:51:12.000 It was the 1980s, and the stories that they tell are fucking unbelievable. 0.98

00:51:18.000 Cocaine Cowboys and Cocaine Cowboys 2 are some of the best fucking documentaries ever. 0.98

00:51:22.000 Miami has more banks per capita than anywhere else in the country. 0.97

00:51:26.000 That's hilarious.

00:51:27.000 It's all cocaine money.

00:51:29.000 That's what built that country.

00:51:31.000 It really should be a country.

00:51:34.000 You know, Miami's wild.

00:51:36.000 It's really like a country, like a different country. 0.96

00:51:38.000 And all those Cubans, all those pissed off Cubans. 1.00

00:51:41.000 Yeah, pissed off at Castro. 0.89

00:51:43.000 And he's right over there, 90 miles away, across the ocean.

00:51:46.000 It's one of these things, man, like, you know, like...

00:51:49.000 When you watch cops and you realize what you're actually watching is just people getting arrested for something that shouldn't be illegal, it's really hard to enjoy it anymore.

00:52:00.000 Like, you know, like a victorious cop who's found some drugs on a person and then acts like he's doing some heroic thing?

00:52:07.000 It's like, what are you doing?

00:52:08.000 You're just chaining up a skinny guy who wanted to feel good, man.

00:52:12.000 You're not...

00:52:17.000 Oh, did you hear about this case where there are undercover cops in a high school?

00:52:37.000 Pretending to be friends for a whole semester, and then they bust some guys because they got them weaned?

00:52:41.000 Yeah.

00:52:42.000 Well, that happened with a woman, a 25-year-old woman in Florida. 0.95

00:52:45.000 She was a beautiful woman, and she seduced a 17-year-old boy.

00:52:48.000 Honor student.

00:52:49.000 Yeah, honor student.

00:52:50.000 Get her some weed. 1.00

00:52:51.000 And now the kid has a felony on his record.

00:52:53.000 So you can never run for office.

00:52:55.000 There's a lot of things you can never do.

00:52:57.000 It's so predatory and terrible.

00:52:59.000 I mean, it's like if there was a...

00:53:02.000 Maybe there's not enough illegal stuff out there, so they have to make stuff up because there are not enough bad people.

00:53:08.000 That's the problem.

00:53:09.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:53:10.000 It's certainly not that.

00:53:11.000 There's plenty of bad people.

00:53:12.000 They just don't want to have to find them.

00:53:13.000 You go to find bad people, you have to deal with dangerous situations.

00:53:16.000 If you could just coerce some 17-year-old boy to sell you weed and then lock him in a cage, and you still get that little check on your win column...

00:53:24.000 You're happy to do it because it perverts what the action is.

00:53:28.000 The noble law enforcement officer, the noble soldier, those are really important aspects of any society that wants to stay safe because we don't have perfect humans yet.

00:53:38.000 We don't have a perfect race.

00:53:39.000 We don't have a perfect culture.

00:53:41.000 So what you're dealing with is just an organism that is following the rules and they...

00:53:47.000 Subvert and pervert these rules in order to be successful.

00:53:50.000 The same way people cheat on their SATs.

00:53:52.000 The same way people take steroids and get caught in the Olympics.

00:53:55.000 The same way, you know, all these different things that people do that they're not supposed to do, but they do because they just want to win more than they want anything else.

00:54:03.000 Yeah, this is a very American thing, too.

00:54:06.000 You know, I live in Spain for 22 years, right?

00:54:08.000 Spanish cops and American cops, completely different.

00:54:12.000 Now, they're different for cultural reasons having to do with the military, I think, first of all.

00:54:17.000 I think a lot of American cops are ex-military.

00:54:20.000 They come back.

00:54:20.000 There are no jobs.

00:54:21.000 Best job opportunities are in law enforcement.

00:54:26.000 We're good to go.

00:54:51.000 If you break the rule, that's illegal.

00:54:54.000 European legal system is a different – the trigger is not that you broke the rule.

00:55:00.000 The trigger is that somebody complained, that you bothered somebody.

00:55:04.000 So there are no Spanish cops flying over the city with infrared cameras on helicopters looking for grow rooms. 0.69

00:55:10.000 They're just not doing it. 0.99

00:55:12.000 Because unless someone complains, they don't give a shit. 0.99

00:55:17.000 It's the same thing with parking. 0.99

00:55:18.000 It's like, if you're blocking traffic, they'll give you a ticket. 0.99

00:55:21.000 If you're just parking in an area where the thing says from 3 to 6 and not from 4 to 2 or whatever it is, they don't give a fuck. 0.94

00:55:28.000 I mean, I've experienced it directly with them where I'm parking my motorcycle and there's this big, long line of motorcycles on the Ramblas, in the pedestrian area of the Ramblas in Barcelona. 0.94

00:55:38.000 And I go to this cop and I know you're not allowed to park there, but there are like 15 motorcycles.

00:55:43.000 And the cops stand in there and I say to him, can I park here or what?

00:55:46.000 And he's like, no, but normally we won't do anything.

00:55:50.000 It's like, that's a cop.

00:55:51.000 That's definitely a better way of doing it than what we're doing over here.

00:55:55.000 Yeah.

00:55:56.000 If you're a judge and you've put someone in jail for their entire lives for a drug, how do you sleep at night?

00:56:06.000 Well, how about worse?

00:56:06.000 Minimum mandatory sentencing.

00:56:08.000 The judges can't even decide, right?

00:56:10.000 Under the Reagan administration, they passed these laws saying, well, if you've got one to four ounces of marijuana, that's five years.

00:56:17.000 Doesn't matter who you are.

00:56:19.000 Well, you shouldn't be a judge.

00:56:20.000 Don't be a judge.

00:56:21.000 A lot of judges resigned.

00:56:23.000 Yeah, I hear what you're saying.

00:56:24.000 A lot of judges resigned because of that.

00:56:26.000 Because they said, what am I doing?

00:56:28.000 It's a table.

00:56:30.000 I'm not making any decisions here.

00:56:31.000 Well, how about that guy in Pennsylvania that was purposely locking kids up to get paid? 0.99

00:56:36.000 Holy shit. 0.99

00:56:37.000 He was getting paid. 1.00

00:56:38.000 He was getting payoffs.

00:56:39.000 And so he was putting kids in detention centers, juvenile detention centers, when they were young. 0.89

00:56:44.000 They were like teenagers, taking them away from their mothers and getting them raped, getting them beat up, putting them in with all these abused kids. 0.75

00:56:50.000 Some of them were committing suicide. 0.99

00:56:52.000 It's so crazy.

00:56:53.000 That guy ruined lives and did it for money, and he just got locked in a cage. 0.99

00:56:57.000 Every one of those kids, every one of those kids that he sentenced should get, as an adult, a day to beat the fuck out of them. 0.77

00:57:04.000 There should be a tag, like you pull a tag like you're hunting deer, and they all throw their money. 0.99

00:57:09.000 Because there's thousands of kids that should get to beat the fuck out of this guy.

00:57:13.000 And what you hope is you get a really early hunting season. 0.99

00:57:15.000 At least piss on him or something. 1.00

00:57:17.000 No, beat the fuck out of him. 1.00

00:57:18.000 Yeah, don't let him have fun. 1.00

00:57:19.000 Almost beat him to death.

00:57:20.000 Sentenced to 28 years for selling kids to the prison system.

00:57:23.000 Look at that.

00:57:24.000 Look at that. 1.00

00:57:26.000 28 fucking years. 1.00

00:57:27.000 Look at that piece of shit. 1.00

00:57:29.000 I would love to plant some knuckles on that guy's face. 1.00

00:57:32.000 If I was a kid, especially, that this guy put away, I would love to beat the shit out of that guy. 1.00

00:57:37.000 He should be beaten to death by every kid that he did that to. 1.00

00:57:41.000 Fuck that guy. 1.00

00:57:43.000 When you start realizing that the criminals have done the exact same thing that pedophiles do, like, pedophiles, they will get jobs working at schools because they want to be around kids all the time. 1.00

00:57:55.000 They're predatory and they do that.

00:57:57.000 In the same way criminals, the really smart criminals, they recognize that the best place to be if you're a criminal is in the legal system working there.

00:58:06.000 That's the best place to be. 1.00

00:58:07.000 If you're a judge and a criminal, you're fucking set, man. 1.00

00:58:11.000 You're a judge. 0.99

00:58:12.000 If you're a criminal and you're a senator, if you're a criminal and you're in the government, that's where the top crème de la crème of the criminals go to the fucking legal system and into the government because that's where they have the most power and are the least likely to get busted. 0.97

00:58:28.000 You know? 1.00

00:58:29.000 The dumb criminals are the ones who stay on the other side of the law. 1.00

00:58:32.000 The smart criminals are the ones who infiltrate, get in there, and then start exploiting people in the exact same way. 1.00

00:58:38.000 And then they don't get arrested.

00:58:39.000 They arrest. 0.98

00:58:40.000 That's where it's fucked up. 0.99

00:58:41.000 Because, let's face it, in the laws of the land, it is not criminal to put A skinny guy in handcuffs, take away his house, throw him in jail, ruin his life. 0.98

00:58:54.000 In this land, it's not legal.

00:58:56.000 It's not criminal.

00:58:58.000 But in the law, in a greater truth, it's a criminal act.

00:59:02.000 In the same way that in Nazi Germany, it wasn't criminal to incinerate Jews. 0.56

00:59:06.000 You could do that.

00:59:07.000 But from history's perspective, it was an atrocity.

00:59:12.000 So in the same way, it's an atrocity in a very small scale.

00:59:15.000 If you're...

00:59:16.000 Destroying people's lives over nothing! 0.98

00:59:18.000 I know we've talked about this a million times, and I don't know if there's even much you could do except shake your fist at some monolithic power that seems to have infiltrated everything and hope for the best, but goddammit, man. 1.00

00:59:29.000 Aren't you a little terrified that one day you'll end up with fucking... 0.99

00:59:33.000 Ankle manacles on wearing that bright safety orange thing as you get sucked through that satanic maze of lawyers and eventually just land in a tiny little cell. 1.00

00:59:43.000 That can happen.

00:59:44.000 It certainly can, especially if you do something that threatens some other powerful organization.

00:59:51.000 If you want to sell some sort of a drug that's not sanctioned that might interfere with the selling of another drug.

00:59:57.000 When they fucked up is when they made it legal to have private prisons. 0.98

01:00:01.000 They fucked up when they turned opening a prison to a business. 0.99

01:00:05.000 That's just a mess. 0.99

01:00:07.000 When they did that, man, not just private contractors to build a prison, but private prisons themselves that don't have to give you access.

01:00:16.000 They don't have to let you look around.

01:00:18.000 Like Louis Theroux was on the podcast from England, the BBC shows.

01:00:22.000 Yeah, I saw that.

01:00:23.000 And he was talking about private prisons.

01:00:24.000 You can't even get in there.

01:00:26.000 You can't film in there.

01:00:28.000 Public prisons, you're way better off.

01:00:31.000 Definitely.

01:00:32.000 Private prisons, you're essentially being used as a battery, you know, a human battery to generate money.

01:00:39.000 And what do you call it when corporate power and governmental power fuse?

01:00:44.000 Satan.

01:00:45.000 Fascism.

01:00:46.000 Yeah.

01:00:46.000 Fascism.

01:00:47.000 Which brings us right back around to where we started.

01:00:49.000 Yeah.

01:00:50.000 Corporate government interfusion is fascism. 0.99

01:00:53.000 That's what it fucking is, and that's where we're going. 0.99

01:00:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:00:56.000 Because you're right, because once it's privatized, then you get that shit in Pennsylvania. 0.99

01:01:00.000 Because part of the contracts, I don't know if you've seen these, the contracts guarantee an occupancy rate of 98 to 99 whatever percent. 0.99

01:01:09.000 It's in the contract that the state signs when they...

01:01:13.000 Like, well, you know, if we don't have enough people in the prison, we pay penalties, we do that, blah, blah.

01:01:18.000 So it makes business sense to make sure that you have that occupancy rate.

01:01:23.000 I mean, once you do that, then it's not about people anymore.

01:01:26.000 It's about corporate power.

01:01:27.000 Oh, it's so dark. 1.00

01:01:29.000 Yeah, it's fucking dark. 0.99

01:01:30.000 That is always the big philosophical question. 0.96

01:01:32.000 Like, what if everyone in the world decided to no longer break the law?

01:01:37.000 What would they do?

01:01:38.000 What would they do if everyone drove the speed limit just for a day?

01:01:41.000 If everyone in Los Angeles drove the speed limit for a month, like nobody ever made a single traffic violation, what would they do?

01:01:48.000 If they have a quota, what is that quota based on?

01:01:51.000 Is it based on a zero-sum evolutionary point?

01:01:54.000 Like, there's no way we're going to ever evolve past this, so we'll never stop speeding, we'll never stop crashing into each other, we'll never stop...

01:02:01.000 We're banking on complete failure.

01:02:04.000 Banking on no growth.

01:02:05.000 Because if there's growth, what are you going to adjust?

01:02:08.000 You're going to say, well, I guess we can't rely on speeding tickets anymore because people don't speed? 1.00

01:02:13.000 The fuck? 0.99

01:02:14.000 That's like a $50 million a month bill that the city gets. 1.00

01:02:18.000 They're not going to fucking change that. 1.00

01:02:19.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:02:20.000 Google cars. 1.00

01:02:21.000 What's going to happen when all the cars are self-driving?

01:02:23.000 Who's going to get tickets? 0.55

01:02:24.000 It's going to suck. 0.97

01:02:24.000 There's going to be no sexiness anymore. 0.97

01:02:26.000 Well, you could fuck in the back seat when you're going up the five, man. 0.99

01:02:32.000 Half the thing is wrong there. 1.00

01:02:33.000 You shouldn't be in the back seat.

01:02:35.000 You should be driving like a man. 1.00

01:02:36.000 First of all, you should hear an engine that's fucking up the environment.

01:02:39.000 It's half the fun.

01:02:40.000 That's the yin and the yang. 0.98

01:02:41.000 The ones that fuck up the environment the most are the sexiest. 1.00

01:02:44.000 They smell like gas when you hit the fucking gas. 1.00

01:02:47.000 You smell it. 1.00

01:02:48.000 They overflow when you let off.

01:02:49.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:02:50.000 It's so funny.

01:02:52.000 Man, it is cool, though, how we are moving in the direction of being able to just perpetually put ourselves on autopilot.

01:02:58.000 Because you know how they have those new cyber suits that you can put on and lift really heavy things?

01:03:04.000 You know they're going to make miniature cyber suits where you can have them walk your body around so you don't even have to walk.

01:03:10.000 You can put yourself on autopilot.

01:03:13.000 You can press a button on your suit and it gets you out of bed and walks you into the kitchen bathroom.

01:03:19.000 The atrophy of the body.

01:03:20.000 Brushes your teeth for you.

01:03:22.000 Yeah.

01:03:22.000 We have a real problem with overpopulation too.

01:03:25.000 We do in this area.

01:03:26.000 Meaning overpopulation in certain areas.

01:03:28.000 There's a few spots in the country where it's just like, you can't have this many people shoved in together.

01:03:33.000 It's just not wise.

01:03:35.000 It's not sustainable.

01:03:37.000 You're keeping it up right now on red line. 1.00

01:03:40.000 If it stops raining, we're fucked. 1.00

01:03:41.000 If the gas flow stops and you can't run trucks that carry vegetables, we're fucked. 1.00

01:03:46.000 The trucks also bring in meat. 0.98

01:03:48.000 The water has to be pumped from Colorado.

01:03:50.000 There's an earthquake.

01:03:51.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:51.000 You've got it all in one place.

01:03:54.000 There's so many things that could go wrong, and one of the big ones is that we're all congested into this one area.

01:04:00.000 It's like a giant game of musical chairs. 0.94

01:04:02.000 Everybody knows the music is going to stop, and you're going to be fucked, most likely, and not have a seat. 1.00

01:04:07.000 But everybody's like, fuck it, fuck it, let's just keep going. 0.99

01:04:10.000 Man, I was talking to this guy the other night, and I was saying, I don't know if I'm going to have kids, and I'm starting to feel happier and happier about that. 1.00

01:04:18.000 And he looks at me, and he's like, That is a very selfish perspective to have.

01:04:24.000 He just likes saying that to you.

01:04:25.000 It's the opposite of selfish.

01:04:27.000 He's not even thinking about that. 1.00

01:04:28.000 I'm like, what the fuck are you saying, man? 0.99

01:04:29.000 I guarantee you that guy's not even thinking that. 1.00

01:04:31.000 What he's doing is being a parrot. 0.76

01:04:33.000 That's selfish. 1.00

01:04:34.000 You're a selfish person. 1.00

01:04:35.000 I get to squawk at you. 1.00

01:04:37.000 Oh, Duncan!

01:04:38.000 You don't even mind your own children! 1.00

01:04:40.000 I'm moral high ground above you! 1.00

01:04:43.000 I love children, in fact, more than I love anything in this world, so fuck you, Duncan! 1.00

01:04:48.000 He was attaching it to, like, how by not having kids, you're somehow not contributing to society somehow. 1.00

01:04:54.000 And he was, like, really, like, he really thought he knew what he was talking about. 0.87

01:04:59.000 And, you know, I quoted that Jack Kerouac quote where he said, to have a child is to damn a being to death. 0.53

01:05:06.000 Have you ever heard that? 0.84

01:05:11.000 You know, every time you have a baby, you're giving something the death penalty.

01:05:17.000 It's a gross thing that people do where they claim moral high ground because they're breeding.

01:05:21.000 I hated it when I was not a father, and now that I'm a father, I still hate it. 1.00

01:05:25.000 It's stupid. 1.00

01:05:26.000 You don't have to have children. 1.00

01:05:28.000 You just have to be cool. 1.00

01:05:29.000 If you want people to like you, you don't have to have a fucking baby. 0.99

01:05:33.000 Just be a nice person and people will like you. 0.99

01:05:36.000 Be a nice person and you'll have a positive impact on this life.

01:05:38.000 It doesn't make you or break you whether or not you reproduce.

01:05:42.000 It just doesn't.

01:05:43.000 It can enhance your life.

01:05:45.000 Like many experiences, it certainly has enhanced mine.

01:05:48.000 But you don't have to do it.

01:05:49.000 I've met some amazing people that have never had kids and don't want kids.

01:05:53.000 And they're still great to be around.

01:05:55.000 I love them.

01:05:56.000 There's nothing wrong with that.

01:05:58.000 But there's so many people that when they get locked into something, whatever it is, it's the way to go. 0.99

01:06:03.000 If you're not going that way, you're fucking selfish. 0.99

01:06:07.000 No, Duncan. 1.00

01:06:09.000 You don't even want to take care of a baby.

01:06:11.000 I don't.

01:06:11.000 But you have a little dog, don't you?

01:06:13.000 And I don't want to take care of that. 1.00

01:06:15.000 I can't take care of a fucking baby. 1.00

01:06:17.000 I'm just kidding. 1.00

01:06:17.000 I love my little fox. 1.00

01:06:18.000 I like cats. 0.99

01:06:19.000 I always say, man, when they invent a baby that knows to shit in this little sandbox from birth, I'll get a baby. 0.97

01:06:24.000 And if they're furry and cute. 0.98

01:06:26.000 Other than that, I mean, the only reasons I'm ever slightly regretful about the fact that I'll never have kids are selfish reasons.

01:06:35.000 See, I'm not thinking for the kid.

01:06:37.000 I'm thinking like, well, you know, I'll never have that experience of this.

01:06:40.000 I'll never have that experience of that.

01:06:41.000 I'll never, you know, my little girl lying on my, you know, back while we read or like, I'll never have those experiences.

01:06:47.000 But that's all about me.

01:06:49.000 Right.

01:06:49.000 You know, as far as there's it's neutral.

01:06:52.000 You bring a kid in, you don't bring a kid in, whatever.

01:06:54.000 That's a wash, right?

01:06:55.000 Yeah.

01:06:55.000 And obviously for the planet, it's a hugely destructive thing to have a child, especially an American child.

01:07:02.000 See, I don't buy that.

01:07:02.000 This is why I don't buy that.

01:07:03.000 Because everyone that I know that's awesome is a person.

01:07:08.000 The idea that a hugely destructive thing is bringing a person into this life, you're going to bring...

01:07:13.000 If you create a good person...

01:07:15.000 What you're going to do is you're going to bring into this world someone who's going to interact with countless people in their life and most likely have a good personality and shed a good example of what a human being can be.

01:07:27.000 That's the potential of having a person.

01:07:29.000 Yeah, but they're still going to use a lot of resources.

01:07:31.000 But so what?

01:07:32.000 What are we going to do?

01:07:32.000 What happens in the world?

01:07:34.000 How about we all kill ourselves and we don't have to worry about the world? 0.99

01:07:36.000 How about we kill ourselves for the world? 1.00

01:07:38.000 This poor world is choking on our bullshit and sewage. 1.00

01:07:40.000 Let's kill ourselves. 1.00

01:07:41.000 You sound like Charles Manson. 1.00

01:07:42.000 You're the guy who was just bitching about overpopulation, Jack.

01:07:44.000 That's why we're here.

01:07:45.000 Oh, no, no, no.

01:07:45.000 Don't get me wrong.

01:07:46.000 I'm not playing both sides of the fence.

01:07:48.000 We're here.

01:07:49.000 This is what I'm saying.

01:07:50.000 I'm saying we're here.

01:07:51.000 We should just enjoy the fact that we're here.

01:07:53.000 But our unborn children aren't here.

01:07:54.000 Don't worry about bringing kids into the world.

01:07:56.000 We're going to bring kids into the world.

01:07:58.000 We're going to keep breeding.

01:07:59.000 What we should do is try to figure out how to be sustainable.

01:08:01.000 Obviously, not you or I. We're not going to keep breeding.

01:08:03.000 You say you won't, but one day, an errant load.

01:08:06.000 Dude, I'm 52 years old.

01:08:08.000 An errant load.

01:08:09.000 The guy who was the president, whose children are still alive today, had kids when he was like 60-something.

01:08:16.000 Man, I've got one ball.

01:08:16.000 I'm almost 40. I've taken acid almost my entire life.

01:08:19.000 My sperm look like Tibetan perfume. 0.76

01:08:21.000 No, acid does not affect the sperm. 0.99

01:08:24.000 Your one ball survived cancer.

01:08:25.000 The other ball gave up, tapped out.

01:08:27.000 Exactly.

01:08:27.000 This ball's a super ball.

01:08:28.000 Survivor. 1.00

01:08:29.000 This ball's like, fuck you, I'm cancer-free, bitch! 1.00

01:08:32.000 You could have easily gotten cancer in both balls. 1.00

01:08:34.000 By the way, I'm not saying I'll never... 0.99

01:08:35.000 I mean, I don't know if I'll have kids.

01:08:36.000 I'm not saying don't have kids.

01:08:38.000 I just find it interesting how people really do think you should have a kid.

01:08:44.000 You know, I think you're right, man.

01:08:45.000 The idea is if you feel like having a child, have a child.

01:08:48.000 What's that saying?

01:08:50.000 Only have a kid if you can't live without a kid.

01:08:53.000 You know, like if you just have to have a child.

01:08:55.000 Have a child and then raise a...

01:08:56.000 You know, somebody had Gandhi.

01:08:58.000 Somebody spit out Tesla. 0.65

01:09:00.000 Or not.

01:09:00.000 But it's true.

01:09:01.000 Or not.

01:09:02.000 It's either one is fine.

01:09:04.000 Life is about us interacting with each other.

01:09:06.000 Not just interacting with babies.

01:09:08.000 Not just interacting with people that are genetically related to you.

01:09:11.000 Interacting with all of us.

01:09:13.000 And if you can contribute in any way.

01:09:15.000 There's a lot of people that are great parents that contribute to this world by being a great parent, by raising someone who's going to influence other people.

01:09:22.000 And a lot of them don't necessarily get too much credit for that. 0.98

01:09:24.000 But I think it's like you get credit for making a great painting and being a fucking complete schizophrenic outside of that. 0.98

01:09:31.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:09:31.000 And everybody's like, oh, he's a brilliant genius. 0.99

01:09:32.000 But you don't get credit for raising a human being and developing the personality of a human being or assisting in the development of a person's perceptions and views of the world.

01:09:42.000 That's an incredible resource.

01:09:43.000 Yeah.

01:09:43.000 And the idea that every one of them is just fucking up the world, whatever.

01:09:48.000 The world's fucked, period. 0.99

01:09:50.000 We're 2014, alright? 1.00

01:09:53.000 The direction that we're going in is fucked. 1.00

01:09:56.000 It's all fucked. 1.00

01:09:57.000 There's too many of us, there's too much pollution, it's not changing, the global warming is happening, whether you like it or not, whether you blame it on democratic vagina sponsors, whatever you do, it doesn't matter. 1.00

01:10:08.000 Yeah. 0.91

01:10:09.000 Live!

01:10:10.000 Just live.

01:10:10.000 Be alive.

01:10:11.000 The justifications of having a baby or not having a baby, all of them are bullshit. 1.00

01:10:15.000 They're all bullshit. 1.00

01:10:16.000 Just be nice. 1.00

01:10:17.000 Just do it, live your life, and be nice.

01:10:20.000 You don't buy it, huh?

01:10:22.000 Joe Rogan is Nelson Mandela.

01:10:24.000 Ha ha ha ha!

01:10:25.000 Wait, you don't buy- Most people don't know what we're talking about.

01:10:29.000 I know, I know.

01:10:30.000 We played it before the show.

01:10:31.000 Yeah, I saw a thing the other night I was watching- Sorry to interrupt you, Duncan.

01:10:36.000 I wasn't interrupting, I was asking you- No, he was asking you a question.

01:10:38.000 Asking me if I buy what?

01:10:39.000 You don't buy his- You're a person, I'm guessing, whose opinion is you should, as an environmentalist, not have kids.

01:10:48.000 Well, I mean, look, my whole worldview is layered, right?

01:10:52.000 It's like there's an optimist inside a pessimist surrounded by an optimist.

01:10:56.000 It's like atmospheric layers. 0.99

01:10:58.000 So essentially, I agree with Joe that who gives a shit? 1.00

01:11:00.000 It's fucked. 1.00

01:11:01.000 That's the optimism, right? 1.00

01:11:03.000 But within that, I don't know if that sounds like optimism, but that's what it is because it's like, well, if it's fucked, then I don't need to worry, right? 0.96

01:11:11.000 So I can be optimistic and happy. 0.99

01:11:18.000 Scourge on the planet.

01:11:19.000 We're sucking up the resources, spewing out toxins, destroying everything.

01:11:24.000 And some of us do that at a higher rate than others.

01:11:27.000 Americans at a higher rate than anyone, right?

01:11:29.000 We create more carbon, more plastic, more everything.

01:11:32.000 We use more energy.

01:11:33.000 So having an American baby from an environmental point of view is not a good thing for the trajectory of the planet. 1.00

01:11:40.000 Now, Within Joe's context, it's all fucked anyway. 0.98

01:11:44.000 The trajectory's going over a cliff, so have a good time. 0.99

01:11:47.000 I agree on both levels.

01:11:49.000 The only thing that's going to help that is human innovations.

01:11:51.000 At this point in time, the momentum of creating things is so out of control that the only thing that's going to be able to put a halt to it is a human being that's really smart, that figures out how to do it sustainably.

01:12:01.000 A human being...

01:12:02.000 That figures out what one or series or a group or a movement that figures out how to engineer society the same way we've engineered many other aspects of our society or our world that make us able to walk down the street and not worry about getting eaten by a lion.

01:12:17.000 So engineers should have babies. 1.00

01:12:18.000 Also, I don't know how helpful it is to think of...

01:12:21.000 I mean, I know what you mean. 0.98

01:12:22.000 We're fucked and all that language, but... 0.99

01:12:24.000 But we're not. 1.00

01:12:25.000 I don't think we are.

01:12:26.000 And I think we're getting in that trap of thinking of our species as a plague on the planet.

01:12:33.000 If you think of the species as a plague, then you're basically saying, well, I too am a plague.

01:12:39.000 Then I am the cancer.

01:12:41.000 I'm walking. 1.00

01:12:42.000 I'm a living parasite. 0.99

01:12:43.000 Sure. 1.00

01:12:43.000 And if you think you're a living parasite, then that means you're going to start acting like a parasite, because why wouldn't you? 1.00

01:12:48.000 You're a parasite. 1.00

01:12:49.000 So, I think it's the language is weird, because you're saying nature is malfunctioning right now. 0.99

01:12:54.000 You're saying, this planet is a malfunctioning planet.

01:12:57.000 Nature's gone wrong.

01:12:58.000 Look at terrible nature.

01:12:59.000 It made all these little humans, and they're ruining the earth. 0.99

01:13:02.000 But it's like, how dare you say nature's fucking up? 0.99

01:13:05.000 It's nature. 0.99

01:13:06.000 You're a piece of it.

01:13:08.000 You know?

01:13:08.000 You're a tiny little piece.

01:13:09.000 It's like a little droplet of water in a river, being like, This is an evil river!

01:13:14.000 It's tearing up the shore!

01:13:16.000 Look what it's done!

01:13:17.000 Okay, so by that logic, how dare you get chemotherapy for cancer?

01:13:22.000 It's part of the whole.

01:13:23.000 It's your organism having its mutations that just happened.

01:13:27.000 I think the mutations of cancer are similar to the mutation that's happened to our species, where it's a thing that grows out of control and threatens to destroy the host.

01:13:38.000 Well, first of all, let me just say, when I said, how dare you, I don't really mean how dare you.

01:13:41.000 No, I know.

01:13:42.000 I'm just following the logic.

01:13:44.000 And number two, as far as getting chemotherapy, which I didn't get, but if you do have cancer and you get chemotherapy, what you're doing is healing yourself.

01:13:53.000 So that's why you do it.

01:13:54.000 You get chemotherapy.

01:13:55.000 But you're interfering with the flow of nature.

01:13:57.000 Well, I think the flow of nature is healing.

01:14:00.000 Nature is regenerative, and heals are a part of it.

01:14:03.000 You get to decide what part you want to be in.

01:14:04.000 So then I believe that by reducing human population to the very, very small level where it's not impacting the planet, that's the natural healing process of the planet.

01:14:14.000 Well, no, it's nature.

01:14:15.000 It's your nature to think that.

01:14:16.000 Just like it's the nature of someone who is afraid to die to figure out a way to survive.

01:14:22.000 The nature of a person who's worried about their finite existence creating immortality.

01:14:26.000 It's also natural.

01:14:28.000 All of it's natural.

01:14:29.000 The human curiosity itself is natural.

01:14:31.000 Human innovation, human imagination, all those things are natural.

01:14:34.000 So we just live in a much more complex world that we've created because we've created all these other variables within our nature that we don't like to think of as natural. 0.98

01:14:43.000 But really, plastic is fucking natural. 0.97

01:14:45.000 It comes out of people. 0.99

01:14:47.000 They pull it out of the ground. 0.99

01:14:48.000 It's not like we make it in a fucking portal. 0.96

01:14:50.000 We zap it out of the multiverse and print it up the 3D printer. 0.97

01:14:55.000 No, we're fucking taking things out of the earth and we make it. 0.50

01:14:58.000 Everything's natural. 0.98

01:14:58.000 Every fucking component of the universe that we can measure is in fact natural. 0.98

01:15:02.000 Black holes are natural. 1.00

01:15:04.000 The word natural is a shit word because everything's fucking natural. 1.00

01:15:07.000 It's a redundant word every time you use it. 0.99

01:15:09.000 The whole world is natural, even plastic. 1.00

01:15:11.000 I think unnatural is a shit word. 0.99

01:15:13.000 Man-made is what you should call it. 1.00

01:15:15.000 Man-made, yeah.

01:15:16.000 Man-created.

01:15:17.000 And that's also, by the way, nature. 1.00

01:15:19.000 Just like a fucking beehive's nature. 0.99

01:15:21.000 It's all nature. 1.00

01:15:22.000 I don't want to shuffle around feeling like I'm a goddamn crab lice chewing through the planet Earth. 0.97

01:15:28.000 Well, you are, but you're not to me. 0.94

01:15:32.000 You're not to each other.

01:15:34.000 We're not to each other.

01:15:34.000 I mean, how many people do you know that claim to be conscious and then they throw a cigarette out the window and you watch them do it?

01:15:40.000 Now I notice that because I've seen you.

01:15:43.000 If you want Joe to attack you, throw a cigarette down in front of him because every time it's like a...

01:15:49.000 In the woods, man.

01:15:50.000 The guy that did it in the woods.

01:15:51.000 The supposed Sasquatch hunter.

01:15:54.000 No, that is true.

01:15:55.000 When you see somebody who's like, when you watch them throw the cigarette down, it is an odd moment where you're like, what is that?

01:16:01.000 I never noticed it before because I never really just thought about it.

01:16:05.000 Well, that guy, we were in Utah for the sci-fi show.

01:16:08.000 And this guy, we drove, we flew in.

01:16:10.000 We had a great time together.

01:16:11.000 We flew in, we drove through Utah in the summer.

01:16:14.000 It was so beautiful.

01:16:16.000 Unbelievably green and lush. 0.99

01:16:18.000 Utah is fucking beautiful, man. 0.99

01:16:20.000 So it's northern Utah. 0.99

01:16:21.000 Yes.

01:16:21.000 Wow, whatever.

01:16:22.000 Yeah, it was about two hours drive.

01:16:24.000 And we get all the way there, and the guy, within five minutes, he's smoking cigarettes.

01:16:27.000 He smells like gin.

01:16:29.000 Was it gin he smelled like, you think?

01:16:31.000 I don't know the kind of booze.

01:16:32.000 And he's telling us about how he met Bigfoot the first time he went looking.

01:16:37.000 He found a bulletproof wolf that appeared out of the mist. 0.99

01:16:40.000 And I'm like, oh, shit. 0.99

01:16:42.000 So then the guy, he doesn't have a cigarette on him anymore. 1.00

01:16:45.000 We're in the fucking woods, man. 0.98

01:16:47.000 And I'm like, where's your cigarette, man? 0.99

01:16:49.000 And he threw it on the ground.

01:16:50.000 He just stepped on it on the ground.

01:16:51.000 I was like, come on, man. 1.00

01:16:53.000 What the fuck are you doing? 1.00

01:16:53.000 Was it a filter or unfiltered? 1.00

01:16:55.000 Yeah, a filter.

01:16:57.000 Filters don't biodegrade.

01:16:58.000 Well, even unfiltered.

01:16:59.000 Come on, man.

01:17:00.000 I don't want to walk through this.

01:17:01.000 Unfiltered in like two days it'll be gone.

01:17:03.000 It's paper.

01:17:03.000 You know, I don't want to see it.

01:17:05.000 It's garbage. 0.98

01:17:06.000 If it stays for a week, it's annoying for a week. 0.98

01:17:08.000 It's annoying for zero amount of time if you take it and you put it in your pocket.

01:17:12.000 It's a creep move.

01:17:13.000 It's a creepy, selfish move when people throw them out the window of their car when they're driving on the highway. 0.89

01:17:17.000 That's a creepy, selfish person. 0.98

01:17:19.000 Because if you've got any awareness at all, the last thing you do is throw a fucking cigarette out the window, especially in California, where that's responsible for what percentage of the fires that happen out here? 1.00

01:17:29.000 Right. 0.99

01:17:29.000 I mean, a lot of them are from people throwing cigarettes out the window. 0.99

01:17:31.000 You guys ever read Edward Abbey?

01:17:33.000 Nope.

01:17:33.000 Desert Solitaire?

01:17:34.000 He was probably the most famous author who lived in Utah.

01:17:37.000 He lived down in the southeast around Moab.

01:17:41.000 Which is all red rock and arches. 0.99

01:17:43.000 It's fucking beautiful. 0.96

01:17:44.000 Completely different from where you guys were. 0.88

01:17:46.000 But if you ever go back, go down there.

01:17:48.000 It's amazing. 0.98

01:17:49.000 That's where those dudes swing through the arches and stuff, doing all that crazy shit. 0.99

01:17:52.000 That's where that asshole Boy Scout guy got arrested for pushing over one of those rocks. 0.99

01:17:57.000 Oh yeah, exactly. 1.00

01:17:58.000 Oh yeah. 1.00

01:17:59.000 Idiots. 1.00

01:18:00.000 Idiots and filming. 1.00

01:18:01.000 Good idea. 1.00

01:18:02.000 It had been there for millions of years.

01:18:04.000 Anyway, Edward Abbey's this funny, like cantankerous, kind of like, who were we talking about earlier?

01:18:10.000 Gonzo, Hunter S. Thompson, kind of that kind of character, right?

01:18:13.000 And he wrote this book where he was cruising down the highway throwing cans of beer out the window, like he'd finish the beer and throw it out the window.

01:18:21.000 And he was very popular among environmentalists.

01:18:24.000 In fact, Earth First, that movement started based on one of his books called The Monkey Wrench Gang. 0.99

01:18:30.000 But anyway, Edward Abbey was like, fuck it, the beer can's not the litter, the highway's the litter. 1.00

01:18:35.000 Don't build the fucking roads, right? 1.00

01:18:37.000 The garbage is already here. 1.00

01:18:39.000 So, I mean, it's an interesting kind of twist.

01:18:41.000 That's a justification if I ever heard one.

01:18:43.000 What a douchebag throwing cans out the window and saying the road shouldn't be there. 1.00

01:18:47.000 Fuck you! 1.00

01:18:48.000 Fuck you! 1.00

01:18:48.000 Fuck you, you pretentious asshole. 1.00

01:18:50.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:18:51.000 Read his book.

01:18:52.000 Read his book.

01:18:53.000 You know about Earth First.

01:18:55.000 Cans flying out the window. 1.00

01:18:56.000 That guy's a douchebag. 1.00

01:18:57.000 All right. 1.00

01:18:58.000 Without having read a word of his book.

01:18:59.000 I don't have to.

01:19:00.000 I might add. 1.00

01:19:00.000 He's a tin can throwing asshole. 1.00

01:19:01.000 I told you one thing that would get under your skin. 1.00

01:19:05.000 That's a bad thing, man.

01:19:05.000 You guys know about Earth First, though?

01:19:07.000 Right.

01:19:07.000 But what we're doing is basically highlighting what we talked about earlier.

01:19:11.000 Is that someone can be a cunt. 0.99

01:19:13.000 And also be really awesome at something. 1.00

01:19:16.000 Yeah.

01:19:16.000 And that's what it is.

01:19:17.000 And you're defending him, but you can't defend him. 1.00

01:19:20.000 He's a cunt. 1.00

01:19:20.000 No, wrong. 1.00

01:19:22.000 See?

01:19:22.000 You're doing it!

01:19:23.000 You can't even help yourself!

01:19:24.000 And you know why you're wrong?

01:19:25.000 Because we don't even know that he actually did it.

01:19:30.000 This is a book.

01:19:31.000 So he wrote a book where he may have just said he did it as a way to make a point.

01:19:35.000 But by saying he did it, now he's giving permission to all these other people to throw tin cans out the road. 1.00

01:19:39.000 And the next thing you know, it's raining tin cans out of every asshole's fucking... 1.00

01:19:44.000 It's the handful that ruined it for the rest of us. 1.00

01:19:48.000 It's more of a cunt move to pretend that you did it and not really have done it, thereby greenlighting actual cunts. 0.99

01:19:54.000 I'm throwing cans out. 0.99

01:19:55.000 I'm an environmentalist.

01:19:56.000 You're like, no, he wrote really good.

01:19:59.000 He was awesome.

01:20:00.000 Here's a guy who gets, what, 12 miles per gallon in your muscle car?

01:20:04.000 No, wait a minute.

01:20:04.000 My car is a six-cylinder.

01:20:07.000 But also, Joe's never claimed to be an environmentalist.

01:20:11.000 That's the difference.

01:20:12.000 Why are you claiming that you understand how muscle cars work?

01:20:16.000 I don't have a muscle car.

01:20:17.000 No.

01:20:17.000 9-11.

01:20:18.000 It's a very light car.

01:20:19.000 Because you were saying earlier, like, with the muscle cars, and you've got to hear the burn in the fuel.

01:20:24.000 But I don't drive one of those.

01:20:26.000 You don't drive one?

01:20:27.000 No.

01:20:27.000 So you're just like Edward Abbey.

01:20:29.000 You're just throwing out this bullshit, giving permission to muscle car owners. 0.99

01:20:33.000 I have a different kind of muscle car. 0.98

01:20:34.000 I have a different kind, but the kind that I have is not like that.

01:20:36.000 It doesn't eat up a lot of gas.

01:20:37.000 No, this is my... 0.99

01:20:38.000 Here's where I take issue with Edward Abbey saying that the goddamn street is wrong. 1.00

01:20:44.000 It's already trash. 1.00

01:20:45.000 Fuck you, Edward Abbey. 1.00

01:20:47.000 I like driving on concrete. 1.00

01:20:49.000 It's fun.

01:20:50.000 I like the roads.

01:20:53.000 He's on it.

01:20:54.000 He's using it.

01:20:55.000 Yeah, I just think that the moment you start saying, like, no, this thing itself is the corruption.

01:21:00.000 You're the corruption, Abby.

01:21:02.000 How about that? 0.62

01:21:02.000 Like, just deal with your own self. 0.62

01:21:04.000 I think that's what it comes down to. 1.00

01:21:06.000 Deal with the fucking pollution inside of you. 1.00

01:21:08.000 You know, that's got to be it. 1.00

01:21:10.000 Deal with what's going on in the tiny little acreage of nature that you are.

01:21:16.000 That's it.

01:21:17.000 First start in there and then like before you're looking at roads and deciding that roads are evil or whatever.

01:21:22.000 First start in there, I'm talking to myself.

01:21:24.000 I waggle my finger at just about everything and call it evil. 0.97

01:21:28.000 So I'm a hypocrite in that.

01:21:30.000 But I do think that the more you can pull your tentacles out of the world with all your tentacles pointing at this is bad and that's bad and that's bad and bring it back into you and see if you can find peace in there. 0.69

01:21:42.000 Find tranquility in there.

01:21:44.000 If you can find equilibrium in yourself, you're probably going to stop doing a lot of the things that are causing pollution in the world, I bet.

01:21:51.000 Maybe not, but I would bet that if you could find a way to find stability and peace, you're going to treat people better.

01:21:59.000 You're not going to be so inclined to...

01:22:01.000 To do selfish things.

01:22:03.000 When you're happy, you oftentimes become less selfish.

01:22:06.000 Don't believe me? 1.00

01:22:08.000 Chomp on some fucking ecstasy. 1.00

01:22:10.000 Eat some really good MDMA and then see how you start acting. 1.00

01:22:15.000 And you're seeing the way you act when you're in a bliss state.

01:22:18.000 And generally, what do you do when you're on ecstasy? 0.98

01:22:21.000 How often do you hear, yeah man, I got on ecstasy and then got in a fucking bar fight. 1.00

01:22:25.000 I just felt like beating the shit out of that guy as being a real dick. 0.99

01:22:28.000 It's like when you wake up from getting high on ecstasy, your regrets always involve being too effusive with your friends. 1.00

01:22:35.000 Like, I'll come to after an ecstasy trip and be like, oh god.

01:22:38.000 What? 0.99

01:22:39.000 I fucking told him I loved him. 0.99

01:22:41.000 I told him how important he was in my life and that I'm going to miss him. 0.99

01:22:46.000 You know what I mean?

01:22:47.000 Those are your regrets. 1.00

01:22:48.000 When you wake up after booze, you're like, oh, holy shit. 0.98

01:22:52.000 I told that guy he looks like he's in Game of Thrones. 0.99

01:22:55.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:22:58.000 It's internal environmentalism.

01:23:00.000 I just don't think there's any way to justify littering like that.

01:23:04.000 And you're justifying littering like that because there's something already bad there. 0.89

01:23:07.000 It's a silly proposition.

01:23:09.000 I think that if you sat down and talked to the guy, he'd probably agree. 1.00

01:23:13.000 I mean, unless he's an asshole. 1.00

01:23:14.000 Do you think you could ever justify throwing cans out the window? 1.00

01:23:17.000 Could you ever justify throwing cans out your window? 1.00

01:23:20.000 I'd like to go to his house and shit on his carpet. 0.99

01:23:22.000 It's not a justifiable action. 0.99

01:23:24.000 You're ruining things for everybody else, and if everybody did it, the whole thing would be ruined.

01:23:28.000 Like, when you drive through, like, the boulder, like, if you ever drive from Boulder up into the mountains, you don't see any garbage, man.

01:23:36.000 It's amazing.

01:23:36.000 It's beautiful.

01:23:37.000 Cars drive through there every day. 0.98

01:23:38.000 Nobody throws shit out the window. 0.99

01:23:40.000 They have a great respect for what that place looks like. 0.99

01:23:43.000 It's very rare that you see any garbage on the ground.

01:23:45.000 But what if everybody was like that guy and just threw cans out the window?

01:23:48.000 You know, oh, this shouldn't be here.

01:23:49.000 Yes, it should. 0.64

01:23:51.000 It should, because that's how you use cars, dummy.

01:23:52.000 And otherwise, it takes a long time to get anything done. 1.00

01:23:55.000 So either we all don't use cars, and we all walk around the city, or you shut the fuck up and stop throwing cans out the window, asshole. 1.00

01:24:01.000 That's stupid. 1.00

01:24:03.000 You're in a car and you're throwing cans out the car because of the roads. 1.00

01:24:05.000 Get the fuck out of here with this. 1.00

01:24:08.000 Smack that guy. 1.00

01:24:09.000 Take his keys and throw them into the river. 1.00

01:24:12.000 Go get your keys, stupid. 1.00

01:24:13.000 But don't let this, listeners, don't let this discourage you from reading Desert Solitaire. 1.00

01:24:18.000 I'm sure the book's great. 1.00

01:24:19.000 He's still an asshole. 1.00

01:24:20.000 Look what you're doing. 1.00

01:24:21.000 You're still defending him because of his writing ability.

01:24:23.000 Desert Solitaire. 1.00

01:24:23.000 That's the name of the game he plays when he drives his car and throws his cans at fucking desert animals. 1.00

01:24:31.000 Yeah, we shouldn't do that. 0.99

01:24:32.000 We shouldn't do that.

01:24:33.000 You know, as often happens, I'm cursed by seeing both points of view.

01:24:37.000 You have to be.

01:24:38.000 I think he's making the larger point that civilization itself is the toxin.

01:24:43.000 And I agree with that. 1.00

01:24:45.000 So stupid. 1.00

01:24:45.000 If it wasn't for civilization, you'd get eaten by wolves. 1.00

01:24:47.000 It would be ridiculous. 1.00

01:24:49.000 Life would suck a fat dick if it wasn't for civilization. 1.00

01:24:52.000 What about you, man? 1.00

01:24:53.000 You're no hunter-gatherer.

01:24:54.000 If you didn't have civilization, what would you be doing?

01:24:56.000 See, that's a completely empty argument, which goes back to the idea that if, you know, You're born into a world, into a time and place.

01:25:03.000 What am I going to do?

01:25:04.000 Say, hey mom and dad, sorry, I'm going to go be a hunter-gatherer, you know? 0.99

01:25:07.000 I mean, what the fuck? 0.99

01:25:08.000 I'm not going to use my phone, I'm not going to drive a car. 1.00

01:25:11.000 You're enjoying civilization.

01:25:12.000 That completely invalidates any conversation because no one can ever criticize civilization at all because we all participate in it.

01:25:21.000 So that's...

01:25:21.000 That doesn't make sense.

01:25:23.000 No, that's not saying that no one can criticize civilization.

01:25:25.000 Well, you're saying I should be a hunter-gatherer?

01:25:27.000 No, I'm saying civilization isn't all evil.

01:25:29.000 It is what it is.

01:25:32.000 It's like a growth.

01:25:33.000 There's no denying that.

01:25:34.000 It's certainly like a growth or a movement.

01:25:37.000 It is what it is, but it's not necessarily all bad.

01:25:40.000 It's oftentimes amazing.

01:25:41.000 But you're moving to a different conversation, which is, is it all good?

01:25:45.000 Is it all bad?

01:25:46.000 Of course not.

01:25:47.000 What I'm objecting to is the idea, because I'm going to be dealing with this a lot in this book, the idea that you can't criticize civilization if you participate in it. 0.99

01:25:56.000 That's bullshit. 0.94

01:25:57.000 But no one's saying that. 0.99

01:25:58.000 That's not the argument.

01:25:59.000 The argument isn't that you can't criticize civilization.

01:26:02.000 It's that civilization, much like almost everything, is incredibly nuanced.

01:26:06.000 There's a lot of parts to it. 0.93

01:26:07.000 And some of the parts, I feel like most of the parts are fucking amazing.

01:26:11.000 Most of the parts of not having to worry about most of the diseases that used to wipe out the population. 0.99

01:26:16.000 Not having to worry about gathering your food, not having to worry about sewage, not having to worry about information and education, not having to worry about social structures, not having to worry about being fucking invaded by rival Mongol herds and shit. 0.98

01:26:28.000 The amazing aspects of civilization, in my opinion, far outweigh the cancerous element of the very human being. 0.99

01:26:35.000 Exactly.

01:26:35.000 And now let me flip the whole thing back on you and say the reason you feel that way is that you were raised in civilization.

01:26:41.000 So just like the Navajos call themselves the people, and the Apache call themselves the people, and the Iroquois, everybody believes that the time and place they live in is the place to be.

01:26:51.000 And so a lot of your information about comparing civilization to pre-civilized times is mutated and distorted by the fact that you are from this time and place, right?

01:27:03.000 You've got a vested interest in believing that.

01:27:04.000 For example, you said, oh, I wouldn't want to have to worry about dying from all these diseases everyone died from.

01:27:09.000 Fact is, like the top five killers of human beings, all those diseases jumped over to humans from domesticated animals.

01:27:17.000 So they didn't exist in any important sense before civilization.

01:27:23.000 Oh, there's no doubt that everyone...

01:27:24.000 There was no tuberculosis, no influenza, no smallpox.

01:27:27.000 Sure.

01:27:28.000 I'm well aware of that.

01:27:29.000 And there's no doubt that everyone in every point in time throughout history was in the time that they were in and the best time for human beings, according to them.

01:27:39.000 We justify that.

01:27:40.000 We always justify that.

01:27:41.000 Or we look back in the past with nostalgia.

01:27:44.000 And that's what I think you do a little bit.

01:27:46.000 Sure.

01:27:46.000 And I do as well.

01:27:47.000 I'm not saying that civilization is the only way to live life and if we were living back in the tribal days of 6,000 plus years ago in the Amazon or whatever the fuck it was when people were living without any possibility of anything being any different.

01:28:01.000 The difference between us now and then is the incredible possibilities that civilization provides.

01:28:05.000 I personally find those things enriching and fascinating and I would rather hang out with people of today We don't always say what we mean.

01:28:25.000 I want to add something here.

01:28:27.000 When I'm walking around a group of people...

01:28:30.000 I've noticed that the way that I'm categorizing that experience shapes the experience itself.

01:28:38.000 Absolutely.

01:28:38.000 So if I'm walking through a group of people and I'm thinking, here I am among the locusts.

01:28:46.000 Look at them devouring the earth.

01:28:48.000 If I think like that, then suddenly I am living in a... 1.00

01:28:52.000 I'm just basically another sticky little bit of scabies on some herpes-infested prostitute's vagina. 1.00

01:29:02.000 But then if I look around and think, wow, man, these are all expansions of the Earth. 1.00

01:29:07.000 These are all expressions of the universe.

01:29:09.000 Here is the universe expressing itself, and this is nature.

01:29:13.000 Sure, I'm not in South America.

01:29:15.000 I'm not surrounded by green and trees, and I don't hear the sounds of the jungle, but I am still surrounded by the natural world, taking a very specific form of manifesting in a specific way we call civilization.

01:29:28.000 And the moment I see it like that, suddenly things get better.

01:29:32.000 It feels like I make connections more.

01:29:35.000 It seems like it talks to you.

01:29:37.000 We talk to each other.

01:29:38.000 We are the universe talking to itself.

01:29:40.000 So do you believe in God?

01:29:43.000 I believe in a higher intelligence.

01:29:45.000 I think the word God is a real confusing word, but as a term of convenience, I'll say, sure, I believe in God.

01:29:50.000 The reason I ask is that that's essentially how I look at religion.

01:29:53.000 It's like people can choose...

01:29:55.000 To believe in something like that because it makes their immediate experience more pleasant.

01:30:01.000 Well, not to get into semantics, but I think you should separate religion from belief in God.

01:30:05.000 Because I think you pull those things away.

01:30:08.000 And then you get into this idea of like, oh, you're just making yourself feel better.

01:30:12.000 And so you're sort of deluding yourself to try to turn your eyes away from the raging fires of hell.

01:30:18.000 Right, because the fact is the locust vision and the enlightened beings and magic of the universe vision are both true.

01:30:24.000 Exactly.

01:30:25.000 I leave open the possibility of a higher intelligence just based on the fact that if you look at the senses that some animals provide, there's a lot of animals, a lot of life forms on this planet that literally don't have the senses to detect us.

01:30:38.000 Because we're not involved in their world on a regular basis. 0.95

01:30:41.000 Certain animals, you wave your hand over a slug, they have no fucking idea you're there. 0.98

01:30:45.000 They don't care. 0.98

01:30:46.000 There's certain animals that are like that, that don't have the ability to perceive whether it's fungus or whether it's microorganisms or whatever it is.

01:30:54.000 Why would we assume that this is the end of the line?

01:30:57.000 Why would we assume that in our complex, very limited in fact, we have so few senses we have them numbered, I mean, why would we assume that those are the only senses to be had and there's not some sort of next step, next dimension?

01:31:12.000 The difference between oceanic creatures with no eyeballs and a person living in a penthouse in Manhattan might as well call that a different dimension.

01:31:21.000 Sure.

01:31:21.000 You might as well, because it kind of is.

01:31:23.000 And why would we assume that this is the end of the line, that our ability to perceive and adjust our material world is the only one like that out there, and there's not something way more advanced that exists in the very fiber of the universe itself that we can't detect yet because we're primitive?

01:31:40.000 Well, it's like size, right?

01:31:42.000 We assume size and time...

01:31:46.000 We judge it from here.

01:31:48.000 Like, our experience is the zero in our number system, right?

01:31:51.000 But, you know, like, things become infinitesimally small and they become infinitesimally large.

01:31:58.000 So we're not at the middle of anything because there are no ends to it, right?

01:32:02.000 But we just sort of randomly choose it and say, well, this is normal.

01:32:05.000 Anything smaller than this is small.

01:32:06.000 Anything bigger is bigger.

01:32:07.000 Anything that goes faster than my experience of time is speeded up.

01:32:12.000 And anything that goes slower is slowed down. 0.99

01:32:14.000 It's like, well, what the fuck? 1.00

01:32:15.000 Your assumption is bullshit there because it's based on nothing. 1.00

01:32:18.000 Yeah, light travels faster than what, you? 1.00

01:32:20.000 Hold on. 1.00

01:32:21.000 Wait a minute, you fucking crazy bitch. 1.00

01:32:25.000 It's also the assumption of the birth and the death of the universe itself. 1.00

01:32:29.000 I've always wondered why we need to attribute these biological characteristics like birth and death to the universe.

01:32:35.000 Would we automatically do that with no assumptions?

01:32:38.000 No, we do it based on our own personal limitations.

01:32:41.000 The fact that we know that we live and die.

01:32:44.000 Other things live and die.

01:32:45.000 We're pretty sure planets live and die.

01:32:47.000 We're pretty sure suns have a life and then they birth.

01:32:50.000 We know it.

01:32:51.000 Supernovas, we know that suns die out.

01:32:53.000 We know our sun has a certain amount of time left and then it's over.

01:32:56.000 We know it.

01:32:57.000 So we just assume that the whole universe is like that.

01:32:59.000 Yeah, well, we use the term die to refer to that moment of radical change that happens in everything in the universe when it goes from being from one form to the next.

01:33:09.000 But it isn't really a death. 0.93

01:33:10.000 It's just a radical, radical fucking change, you know? 0.98

01:33:13.000 Interesting, yeah. 0.98

01:33:15.000 We don't talk about the death of water when it becomes ice.

01:33:17.000 No.

01:33:18.000 You know, although melting has a little bit of death in it, maybe.

01:33:20.000 Well, it's just change.

01:33:22.000 We're just like, that's the thing.

01:33:23.000 It's like we're in this constantly morphing, changing thing, this constantly changing world.

01:33:29.000 And you get to, I think what you said about we're existing in all these dimensions.

01:33:33.000 One is the dimension where it's a bunch of locusts chewing up a living planet.

01:33:37.000 Another dimension is where the living planet has sprouted sensory...

01:33:44.000 Sensory, I don't know what you call it.

01:33:46.000 Sensory organs.

01:33:47.000 Sensory organs, which are, yeah, right.

01:33:49.000 It's that, or it's like that.

01:33:50.000 Which are human beings.

01:33:50.000 I think it was Carl Sagan who said, human beings are the universe looking back at itself.

01:33:55.000 Yes, there's that.

01:33:56.000 And then these are considered, like, Ram Dass talks about this, how there's these channels that you can dial into, and you get to decide what channel you want to dial into.

01:34:04.000 So if you want to live in, like, the Fox News dimension...

01:34:07.000 You can live there, where you're constantly, your fists are clenched, you're watching Bill O'Reilly, everything Obama does makes you want to fucking kill yourself or kill somebody else, and your stomach is bubbling, you're chain-smoking and listening to Rush Limbaugh and beeping at anyone who cuts in front of you in the wrong way. 0.66

01:34:23.000 That's a dimension. 0.96

01:34:24.000 You're in a dimension.

01:34:25.000 You're in a specific universe where you're at war with all these liberals, blah, blah, blah.

01:34:30.000 Ann Coulter is the goddess, whatever.

01:34:33.000 But there are all these different channels that you can tune into, And one of them is this channel where you just believe that everything's perfect.

01:34:42.000 And that is blasphemy to a lot of people. 0.99

01:34:45.000 They don't want to fucking hear that. 0.98

01:34:46.000 They don't want to hear that everything's perfect. 1.00

01:34:47.000 Because then they say, look at the fucking radiation! 1.00

01:34:50.000 Fukushima! 1.00

01:34:50.000 Holocaust! 1.00

01:34:51.000 People dying!

01:34:52.000 Cancer kids! 1.00

01:34:52.000 The hyenas are killing the fucking elk! 1.00

01:34:57.000 We're all dying. 1.00

01:34:58.000 Everything's on fire.

01:34:59.000 The sun's going to supernova.

01:35:01.000 How dare you say everything's perfect, you know?

01:35:03.000 But if you start just playing around with that idea and tuning into that idea that, no, no, no, this is perfect.

01:35:09.000 This is a beautiful universe.

01:35:11.000 I look at the Hubble telescope and I see those incredible...

01:35:15.000 Just deep fields of stars out there, and I see the supernovas, and I see all these things, and I don't think, oh god, the violence of the supernova as it evaporates everything around it.

01:35:26.000 I don't think, oh god, the monster black hole sucking this dimension into it, and I don't think any scientist or cosmologist would look at that and be like, that is violence happening and evil.

01:35:35.000 Yet somehow when it gets down to us, these little fucking little meaty things, that's where the thing's malfunctioning now? 0.96

01:35:42.000 The black hole's fine. 0.98

01:35:43.000 It's not evil.

01:35:44.000 That's not a demon. 1.00

01:35:45.000 The black hole's sucking fucking light into it. 1.00

01:35:49.000 That's not evil. 1.00

01:35:51.000 But suddenly when it comes down to us, it's like, yeah, we're monstrous!

01:35:55.000 Yeah, asteroids kill the dinosaurs.

01:35:57.000 Yeah! 1.00

01:35:57.000 Fucking chunk of metal flying 45,000 miles an hour through space. 1.00

01:36:02.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:36:02.000 Slams into the earth and is several miles deep within the first couple seconds. 0.99

01:36:06.000 I say, forgive...

01:36:11.000 But you're right, too.

01:36:13.000 You know, that's the thing.

01:36:14.000 You get to pick where you want to be. 0.99

01:36:16.000 That guy throwing cans out the window is still a douchebag. 0.95

01:36:18.000 Do you know that locusts and grasshoppers are the same animal? 0.97

01:36:22.000 No, I didn't.

01:36:23.000 It's the same species?

01:36:25.000 Same animal.

01:36:25.000 Exact same animal.

01:36:26.000 Yeah, what happens is you've got a bunch of grasshoppers, right?

01:36:29.000 If there's not enough food...

01:36:32.000 Below a certain caloric intake, they metamorphize into locusts and they swarm and take off.

01:36:39.000 Wow.

01:36:40.000 Isn't that fun?

01:36:41.000 I'm thinking about that a lot as a metaphor for human nature, right? 0.98

01:36:44.000 Because we're talking about how fucked up the word nature is. 0.95

01:36:46.000 And everybody's always asking me, having written this book and whatever. 0.97

01:36:49.000 Is it human nature to do this?

01:36:51.000 Human nature to do that?

01:36:52.000 It's like talking about locusts and grasshoppers.

01:36:55.000 I think we become a different kind of being based upon our context.

01:37:01.000 That's not just insects.

01:37:03.000 That's wild pigs as well.

01:37:05.000 Wild pigs and domestic pigs are the same exact animal.

01:37:08.000 And Steve Rinello is explaining that, that wild pigs, I forget the exact term, what the pig, you know, what gender it is, but when they move out, like you get a wild pig and you release it out into the wild, within three weeks they start changing.

01:37:25.000 Like their body changes.

01:37:26.000 Really?

01:37:26.000 Their snout extends, their hair becomes darker and coarser, and their tusks grow.

01:37:31.000 Like the Hulk. 1.00

01:37:31.000 Yeah, they grow these fucking crazy prongs. 1.00

01:37:34.000 When you see a wild boar, that's the same thing as a domestic pig. 1.00

01:37:37.000 It's literally the same animal.

01:37:40.000 Very interesting.

01:37:40.000 It's an animal that morphs when it has to take care of itself.

01:37:43.000 Yeah.

01:37:44.000 If you leave a wild pig in it, yeah, there they are.

01:37:46.000 Look at the differences between those two animals.

01:37:47.000 Those are the same animal, the exact same animal.

01:37:50.000 But the one on the right is wild and the one on the left is domesticated.

01:37:53.000 So, human beings, there you are.

01:37:55.000 On the left.

01:37:56.000 On the right...

01:37:57.000 Hunter-gatherers. 0.97

01:37:59.000 Sasquatch, maybe? 0.74

01:37:59.000 No, no. 0.74

01:38:00.000 Still human beings.

01:38:01.000 That's the point.

01:38:01.000 Still human beings.

01:38:02.000 Yes. 0.99

01:38:03.000 Yeah, except wild pigs fuck up their environment. 0.98

01:38:06.000 Yeah, hunter-gatherers, I'm sure. 0.93

01:38:08.000 No, they don't. 1.00

01:38:10.000 Wild pigs, they fuck up the golf course is what they fuck up. 1.00

01:38:13.000 They fuck up farmland. 1.00

01:38:15.000 They don't fuck up... 1.00

01:38:15.000 Farmland, that's not their environment. 1.00

01:38:18.000 That's the point.

01:38:18.000 They're disruptive to our official environment.

01:38:21.000 Well, it's not a point because they're not from here.

01:38:23.000 They're not indigenous species.

01:38:24.000 We brought them in entirely.

01:38:26.000 Which gets back to why the Aztecs were cannibals, by the way. 0.80

01:38:29.000 If pigs had existed in North America, they wouldn't have been. 0.97

01:38:32.000 Yeah, pigs are so crazy with how they reproduce. 0.99

01:38:36.000 Deer only reproduce once a year, so they spit out a couple of fawns.

01:38:40.000 Pigs reproduce all year round.

01:38:42.000 They shit them out every three or four months, and they shit out like eight or nine of them, or a good litter. 0.89

01:38:47.000 But I saw a bunch of wild pigs, and they had a whole crew behind them. 0.97

01:38:51.000 Oh, yeah.

01:38:51.000 They travel in these packs.

01:38:54.000 This is one video of wild pigs running through the woods.

01:38:57.000 I don't know.

01:38:58.000 I put it on my Twitter a while back.

01:38:59.000 It's probably really hard to find it.

01:39:00.000 But if you just find this video, it's the most insane thing you've ever seen.

01:39:03.000 It's like you're watching the Lord of the Rings and a goblin army is trudging through the town. 0.72

01:39:09.000 That's cool. 0.90

01:39:09.000 They're crazy, man. 0.90

01:39:10.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:39:11.000 We went hunting them and we were in this place called Tejon Ranch.

01:39:14.000 Where that door is, which is probably, what, 20 feet away, 30 feet away?

01:39:18.000 That close, pigs were fighting in the bushes.

01:39:21.000 And we're standing there with rifles, and the bushes are rattling like it's Jurassic Park.

01:39:26.000 And you hear...

01:39:31.000 Going at it with each other and they have tusks and these crazy looking, wild, shaggy, dark things.

01:39:37.000 That's the same as Babe. 1.00

01:39:40.000 It's the same goddamn animal depending upon the circumstances. 1.00

01:39:43.000 If they have to fend for themselves, if you take out all the aggression of the natural world so they don't have to be on point from the moment they're born, they don't have to be aware of predators, little piggies, they're not afraid of shit. 1.00

01:39:57.000 It's the same animal. 0.99

01:39:57.000 Same animal as a wild boar. 0.99

01:39:59.000 Without civilization.

01:40:00.000 Yeah.

01:40:01.000 The universe is very complex, man.

01:40:03.000 And there's so much adaptability within the natural world, in quotes, the world of organisms.

01:40:10.000 There's so much adaptability.

01:40:12.000 It's absolutely, totally, completely fascinating.

01:40:14.000 Getting back to your point about higher beings and why do we assume that we're the end of some spectrum, you know?

01:40:20.000 Right.

01:40:21.000 And another indication for me is just there are, I mean, I'm no mathematician, but there are some like mathematical principles that are just too fucking beautiful to be random. 0.86

01:40:31.000 And I mean, I've had experiences traveling, I'm sure you guys have had experiences where it's like, holy shit, that can't have just happened. 0.62

01:40:38.000 You know, there's no rational way to understand how that just happened. 0.78

01:40:42.000 But a sort of universal one, which I ended Sex at Dawn with is the sun-moon thing.

01:40:48.000 Do you know about this?

01:40:50.000 Okay, so the moon is obviously a fraction of the size of the Earth, right?

01:40:54.000 One-fourth.

01:40:57.000 One-fourth, really?

01:40:58.000 Is that right?

01:40:59.000 Yeah.

01:40:59.000 I would have thought much smaller than that.

01:41:00.000 No, it's extraordinarily large for a moon.

01:41:02.000 In fact, that's one of the reasons why a lot of the ancients thought of it as a planet.

01:41:05.000 Hmm.

01:41:06.000 Huh.

01:41:07.000 Yeah, it doesn't move like a planet, though.

01:41:09.000 No, it stays.

01:41:10.000 There's no regressive motion.

01:41:12.000 It doesn't spin.

01:41:12.000 It spins around us, but it doesn't spin in the air.

01:41:15.000 Right.

01:41:15.000 It just floats around us.

01:41:16.000 The same side is always facing us.

01:41:18.000 Anyway, so the Moon's much smaller than the Earth, and the Sun is far, far, hundreds of thousands of times larger, right?

01:41:23.000 And as you said, the Moon is very important.

01:41:26.000 Obviously, it's important to every civilization or every culture that's ever existed.

01:41:31.000 The Moon is often seen as feminine because of the changes and its association with menstruation and so on and so forth.

01:41:37.000 And the Sun, obviously, is super...

01:41:39.000 Those are the two most important things that anyone's ever thought about in terms of immediately obvious symbols.

01:41:45.000 And...

01:41:47.000 We're good to go.

01:42:03.000 It equals the diameter of the sun divided by the distance so that those two things appear exactly the same.

01:42:09.000 And you have these solar eclipses where the disk of the moon perfectly covers the disk of the sun. 0.98

01:42:16.000 That is mathematically like, how the fuck did that happen? 0.67

01:42:19.000 There's no reason, mathematically, for that to happen. 0.94

01:42:22.000 Isn't that a gravitational law, though?

01:42:23.000 No, no, it's not.

01:42:25.000 It's not.

01:42:26.000 In fact, I talk to people about this.

01:42:28.000 You look at what the moons of Jupiter look like from the surface of Jupiter, they have no relation to the size of the sun seen from the surface of Jupiter.

01:42:38.000 Right, but Jupiter's a gas planet, right?

01:42:40.000 Isn't that different?

01:42:42.000 Don't look at me, man.

01:42:43.000 Jupiter's not a gas planet.

01:42:44.000 It's not.

01:42:44.000 Saturn is.

01:42:45.000 Jupiter's not a gas giant?

01:42:47.000 I don't think so.

01:42:48.000 We can look it up.

01:42:49.000 I know there's...

01:42:50.000 Did you guys just watch Cosmos the other night?

01:42:52.000 Yes.

01:42:53.000 Yeah, so...

01:42:54.000 Because there's a thing called Bode's Law that, based on the amount of mass that a planet has, you can accurately predict where the next planet will be.

01:43:02.000 And it works, apparently.

01:43:05.000 It's a Jovian planet.

01:43:07.000 It's a large planet that is not primarily composed of rock or any solid matter.

01:43:13.000 Yeah, it's a gas giant.

01:43:15.000 There's four gas giants.

01:43:16.000 Hold on a second.

01:43:16.000 Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune.

01:43:18.000 Those are all gas giants.

01:43:19.000 What happens if you fall into a gas giant? 1.00

01:43:21.000 You're fucked. 1.00

01:43:22.000 But do you just fall through it? 1.00

01:43:24.000 It's a big swirling ball of death.

01:43:27.000 Well, it says not primarily.

01:43:29.000 There's no condo.

01:43:30.000 There's some solids within it, right?

01:43:32.000 I mean, it's like a conglomeration of...

01:43:34.000 It's just not primarily composed of solid matter.

01:43:37.000 Is it muddy in there? 0.99

01:43:38.000 No, it's just fucking hurricanes of death. 0.98

01:43:41.000 There's storms that have been going on since the beginning of time that are bigger than our planet. 0.99

01:43:45.000 Right, the red spot.

01:43:46.000 Yeah, it's just a storm.

01:43:47.000 It's an Earth-sized storm that's been going on forever.

01:43:50.000 Which is the one with that crazy shape at the top that spins around?

01:43:53.000 Is that Jupiter?

01:43:54.000 Saturn.

01:43:55.000 You know what I'm talking about?

01:43:56.000 Oh, yeah, that's Saturn.

01:43:58.000 It's got like a hexagon at the top of it.

01:44:00.000 Yeah, it's really bizarre.

01:44:01.000 It almost looks like a design.

01:44:03.000 But so is everything.

01:44:06.000 The lower you get and start looking at different aspects of nature, everything gets like...

01:44:11.000 Look at ice crystals under a microscope.

01:44:13.000 Oh, man.

01:44:14.000 It's like salt.

01:44:15.000 Look at salt.

01:44:16.000 Sand.

01:44:16.000 Graves of sand.

01:44:17.000 Have you seen that book?

01:44:18.000 Yeah, it's amazing.

01:44:18.000 This guy who takes micro photographs of grains of sand?

01:44:21.000 It's amazing. 0.99

01:44:21.000 Fucking wild, man. 0.99

01:44:23.000 All different colors and little pieces of seashells and coral. 0.99

01:44:27.000 They're all these wild crystalline things.

01:44:30.000 You assume every grain of sand is the same.

01:44:33.000 Yeah.

01:44:33.000 Some jewels.

01:44:34.000 They're amazing.

01:44:35.000 Yeah.

01:44:35.000 See, that's it.

01:44:36.000 Once you start tuning into that channel that we're talking about now, suddenly the locusts are gone.

01:44:42.000 Now the world's amazing.

01:44:44.000 It's like, wow, look at this beautiful place that we're in.

01:44:48.000 Oh, there you go.

01:44:48.000 Pictures of sand.

01:44:49.000 Yeah, wow.

01:44:50.000 And, you know, those aren't uniform, but, I mean, there are many things in nature that are.

01:44:53.000 I mean, the Fibonacci sequence that exists in flowers and pine cones and all these different things, I mean, it's essentially perfect geometric patterns.

01:45:00.000 And that, to me, is God.

01:45:01.000 And there it is right there all the time, right next to you.

01:45:04.000 If you just take a little bit of time to get yourself out of the perception, whatever the perception is that you've become accustomed to.

01:45:12.000 And that is, like, that's what they call...

01:45:14.000 I mean, in, like, occult systems or in magic, that's, like, one of the first things you want to do is to, like...

01:45:20.000 Pull yourself out of whatever your conditioned patterns are so that you could see the world as living, even for a moment. 0.99

01:45:28.000 I really love chaos magic because it's like a postmodern form of magic that isn't based on, like, this magic is real, like Harry Potter shit. 0.80

01:45:35.000 It's based on, if you can change the way you feel, Then you're going to change your life. 0.93

01:45:41.000 If you can induce certain mood states inside of you, then you're going to be more inspired.

01:45:49.000 You're going to write better.

01:45:50.000 You're going to be a better athlete.

01:45:51.000 So that's what it is.

01:45:52.000 The rituals that you use to induce those states, that's what magic is.

01:45:59.000 That's one form of magic.

01:46:01.000 The idea is one really fun experiment you can do.

01:46:04.000 It's really cool, man.

01:46:06.000 This is in a book I read about chaos magic.

01:46:09.000 Go to, like, a place where there's shitloads of people, and you put yourself in a intentionally paranoid state.

01:46:17.000 Not paranoid as in you're afraid, but paranoid as in the sense that everything happening around you is the universe conversing with you.

01:46:24.000 For, like, 15 minutes, now the universe is talking to you.

01:46:27.000 So every accident, every moment, every t-shirt that has something written on it, every song that you hear is related to answering whatever your question is.

01:46:36.000 It's like an oracle or something like that.

01:46:38.000 And because our minds consist not just of the conscious, but also the subconscious, suddenly you'll start seeing reflections of your subconscious in the workings of the world around you.

01:46:49.000 And that can answer your question or give you some kind of, like, information that you're seeking.

01:46:54.000 It really is the information coming from the world or inside of you.

01:46:56.000 It doesn't matter if you find a solution that gives you a course of action to take that betters your life, you know?

01:47:03.000 So, it's good to not think that we're...

01:47:05.000 I don't mean to keep going back to this, but if you think that you're a...

01:47:23.000 I think there's no denying that there's several factors involved in your life and shaping your life.

01:47:34.000 And I think there has to be some impact other than attitudinal, if that's a word, that comes out of the way you perceive things.

01:47:41.000 That it might not just be, oh, well, you're looking at things the wrong way, you're going to be sad.

01:47:46.000 No, it might be that you're shaping the energy that you produce, that you're shaping what you put out, you're shaping how people receive you, and that may in turn shape the very physical world around you the same way wolves change rivers.

01:47:58.000 Yeah.

01:47:59.000 And in the end...

01:48:03.000 The love you take is equal to the love you make.

01:48:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:48:07.000 I mean, basically, they figured that shit out in the hippie days. 1.00

01:48:09.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:48:10.000 And isn't that what they meant at the end of that great song?

01:48:12.000 It's a fun experiment.

01:48:13.000 And then the government came in and threw gas on the whole thing. 0.99

01:48:15.000 Just get yourself all worked up in a nice paranoid froth, which I am quite good at doing, and then go into the world and you'll notice everyone's a dick. 1.00

01:48:23.000 Have you ever noticed that when you're really, you know, like all of a sudden it's like, God, man, everyone's being such a fucking cunt today. 1.00

01:48:28.000 It's so true. 1.00

01:48:28.000 Every time I'm in L.A., I notice that, man. 1.00

01:48:32.000 Traffic creates aggression within me.

01:48:37.000 It's what you were saying earlier.

01:48:38.000 People cut you off.

01:48:39.000 You get all angry.

01:48:40.000 When I was traveling a lot, I first noticed this sort of phenomenon.

01:48:44.000 I always thought of it as the on-the-crowded-bus phenomenon.

01:48:48.000 I get on the bus in Mexico, whatever.

01:48:50.000 All the seats are taken.

01:48:51.000 I'm standing there.

01:48:52.000 It's a five-hour bus ride.

01:48:53.000 I'm, like, tired.

01:48:55.000 You know, I haven't slept.

01:48:56.000 I've got diarrhea. 0.98

01:48:58.000 And I'm sort of, like, leaning on the seat and the dude whose shoulder my ass touches occasionally is kind of getting uptight. 1.00

01:49:04.000 And I'm thinking, what an asshole that guy is, you know. 1.00

01:49:07.000 Fuck, I'm standing here, you know. 1.00

01:49:09.000 Least he could do is let me lean on the seat without giving me shit, whatever. 1.00

01:49:12.000 And then the guy gets up, gets off the bus, I sit down, someone else is standing there, and their ass starts touching my shoulder, and I get pissed off! 0.99

01:49:19.000 And I'm like, it all depends on where I am, you know? 0.99

01:49:24.000 Like, I am such a fucking hypocrite because my perception of this situation is not accurate. 0.97

01:49:30.000 It's, you know, or it is accurate in both cases, but both cases are true. 0.99

01:49:36.000 Now imagine this.

01:49:37.000 Imagine in either of those situations, you had just met a girl and fallen in love. 0.99

01:49:42.000 And you don't give a shit. 0.99

01:49:43.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:49:44.000 Exactly.

01:49:44.000 Now all of a sudden, because you're in love, it doesn't matter if someone's rubbing against you.

01:49:48.000 It doesn't matter. 1.00

01:49:48.000 A fucking dog could probably come and start chewing on your ankle and it's going to suck, but you're not... 1.00

01:49:53.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:49:54.000 So that's why...

01:49:54.000 And honestly, that's why I traveled so much.

01:49:56.000 Because traveling put me in the state of mind where nothing bothered me.

01:49:59.000 But the idea is... 0.99

01:50:00.000 Because I always felt so lucky and happy to be wherever the fuck I was. 0.98

01:50:04.000 So here's the big question. 0.98

01:50:06.000 Can we induce that state of feeling love, in love, whatever you want to call it, minus a condition?

01:50:13.000 So in other words, is there a way to actually, do we have the control or is it already inside of us to find this place where we're constantly experiencing that feeling of intense love wherever we go?

01:50:25.000 Because if you're feeling that the traffic doesn't suck, nothing really sucks.

01:50:29.000 You know, I said this on Ari's podcast, which is like, Do something you love with someone you hate and something you hate with someone you love.

01:50:37.000 And you'll see how potent the state of feeling and love is. 0.98

01:50:41.000 Because if you do something you hate with someone you love, you don't hate the fucking thing anymore. 1.00

01:50:44.000 But if you do something you love with someone who sucks... 1.00

01:50:47.000 It's no fun. 0.99

01:50:48.000 It's a miserable situation.

01:50:50.000 Yeah.

01:50:51.000 Yeah, I mean, there's also the question of, are you trying to have...

01:50:57.000 Asking for this state of love and bliss and whatever it is that mystics are always guiding us toward, is that an illegitimate request?

01:51:06.000 Is that an ultimately selfish request?

01:51:10.000 You're saying, I want pleasure without pain.

01:51:12.000 I want light without darkness.

01:51:13.000 I want bliss without despair.

01:51:16.000 Aren't those things...

01:51:18.000 Is there light without darkness?

01:51:20.000 For now.

01:51:22.000 For now.

01:51:23.000 You'll get your darkness later.

01:51:25.000 You'll get plenty of darkness coming your way.

01:51:27.000 For now.

01:51:28.000 Well, that's sort of how I feel.

01:51:30.000 I feel like, you know, I've had a...

01:51:32.000 You know, if I tallied up my life, I would say it's 90% great.

01:51:36.000 I would say more than 90%.

01:51:38.000 Look where you're at right now.

01:51:39.000 Yeah, no, whatever.

01:51:40.000 I mean, but again, that's one of those things like pick your perspective and the valley looks different depending on what mountain you're standing on.

01:51:46.000 You know, it's always...

01:51:48.000 This condition is 100% great.

01:51:50.000 Yes.

01:51:51.000 Nothing's 100% great.

01:51:53.000 No, this right now, this condition, right now we're in, is 100% great.

01:51:56.000 There's nothing negative about it.

01:51:57.000 We're putting out all this conversation.

01:51:59.000 A lot of people are enjoying it.

01:52:00.000 They're thinking.

01:52:01.000 We're sparking ideas.

01:52:02.000 We're having a good time together as friends.

01:52:04.000 We're having a good time talking and stimulating each other.

01:52:07.000 I mean, these podcasts are awesome.

01:52:08.000 It's a really cool and unique moment.

01:52:10.000 So for me right now, I'm having a 100% good time.

01:52:13.000 And this is what I'm judging.

01:52:14.000 I'm judging life on this moment.

01:52:16.000 This moment which it's all about maintaining your balance on this tightrope.

01:52:20.000 How long can you stay at this moment?

01:52:22.000 That's it, man.

01:52:23.000 The razor's edge, right?

01:52:24.000 That's what they say in Buddhism.

01:52:25.000 Walking the spiritual path is as tricky as treading upon the edge of a razor.

01:52:30.000 Yes.

01:52:30.000 Yeah, beautiful book about a traveler.

01:52:32.000 I love the movie, too.

01:52:33.000 And a seeker.

01:52:34.000 I like the movie, too, The Razor's Edge.

01:52:35.000 I never saw the...

01:52:36.000 Bill Murray.

01:52:37.000 Oh, Bill Murray. 0.99

01:52:38.000 That's fucking great. 0.99

01:52:38.000 That's right. 0.99

01:52:39.000 Yeah.

01:52:39.000 But, yeah, man, that's the thing.

01:52:42.000 And I love, like, the other day, man, I was taking a walk. 0.99

01:52:45.000 And I hit that fucking place. 0.99

01:52:47.000 By the river. 1.00

01:52:48.000 The LA River.

01:52:49.000 I keep having that by the LA River when I go for these walks and I'll hit this place where it's like, oh.

01:52:54.000 This is amazing.

01:52:56.000 This feels so good.

01:52:58.000 And then I'll think, I want this feeling to last forever.

01:53:02.000 And then it's gone.

01:53:03.000 Because I'm trying to grasp at it. 0.98

01:53:04.000 I'm trying to fucking hold it. 0.98

01:53:06.000 You know, that's that Neil Young song. 0.98

01:53:09.000 Love is a rose, but you better not pick it.

01:53:12.000 It only grows when it's on the vine.

01:53:14.000 Handful of thorns, and you know you've missed it.

01:53:16.000 Lose your love when you say the word mine.

01:53:18.000 Yeah.

01:53:19.000 You know, when you're trying to grab it, when you want it to last, when you're like, no, I don't want it to go away.

01:53:24.000 It flees in terror.

01:53:26.000 How awesome is Neil Young?

01:53:27.000 He's the greatest, man.

01:53:28.000 You should get him on this podcast.

01:53:30.000 He's so cool.

01:53:31.000 You know, he makes his own biodiesel.

01:53:33.000 He makes his own gasoline.

01:53:35.000 He has a farm, and he makes his own gasoline to run a diesel truck with.

01:53:38.000 He used to live right here in Topanga.

01:53:40.000 Really?

01:53:40.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:53:41.000 He's the coolest.

01:53:42.000 Where's he now?

01:53:42.000 I want to stalk him.

01:53:43.000 He's a bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:53:44.000 I want to stalk him. 1.00

01:53:44.000 I think he's still in LA somewhere. 1.00

01:53:46.000 I was working at Greatwood Center for the Performing Arts in Mansfield, Massachusetts at a Neil Young concert once.

01:53:52.000 And it was the craziest concert ever because people couldn't hear well.

01:53:58.000 The setup wasn't very good that day for whatever reason, and so the people in the top, there was so much talking.

01:54:04.000 The top area was like this grassy area.

01:54:07.000 There was so much talking.

01:54:08.000 It was like riots almost.

01:54:10.000 And then people started lighting fires, and people had snuck in booze, and they had to shut the concert down.

01:54:14.000 They had to literally stop the concert because there was so much chaos, and it was all in a Neil Young concert. 0.99

01:54:20.000 That sucks. 0.98

01:54:21.000 It was wild. 1.00

01:54:22.000 It was wild.

01:54:23.000 It was wild being there.

01:54:24.000 I put a jacket on over my security jacket. 1.00

01:54:26.000 I was like, fuck this. 0.99

01:54:28.000 I'm blending in the crowd. 1.00

01:54:29.000 I zipped up and got the fuck out of Dodge. 0.91

01:54:31.000 I think that was one of the last shows I ever worked. 0.99

01:54:33.000 I was like, this job's just too fucking crazy. 0.94

01:54:35.000 It's too dangerous. 1.00

01:54:36.000 When shit goes wild and you see this whole field filled with people partying, they're all fucked up, drunk, and they're lighting fires. 0.99

01:54:46.000 I mean, it was just craziness. 0.99

01:54:47.000 And then people are beating the shit out of each other randomly, like you find little packets of people beating the shit out of each other. 0.97

01:54:52.000 Just brawling? 0.86

01:54:53.000 Yeah, yeah, brawls just broke out.

01:54:55.000 At a Neil Young concert.

01:54:56.000 I mean, that's not Neil Young's crowd. 0.84

01:54:59.000 Listen, everybody in Massachusetts will punch you in the face, okay?

01:55:02.000 Be well aware of that. 0.95

01:55:04.000 It is true. 0.89

01:55:05.000 Everybody in Massachusetts that you're in an argument with, you have a very good shot of getting punched in the face.

01:55:09.000 That's just a fact.

01:55:10.000 Man, did you see that video of that riot that broke out at the basketball game?

01:55:15.000 A riot broke out in the crowds?

01:55:19.000 I'm not shocked.

01:55:20.000 When humans stampede, it's scary.

01:55:22.000 Happens all the time in Brazil at soccer matches.

01:55:25.000 Well, they decapitated that guy.

01:55:27.000 The referee got in a fight with someone in the crowd.

01:55:32.000 A fan tried to stab the referee.

01:55:35.000 And the referee wound up stabbing the fan.

01:55:38.000 Or the fan was attacking the referee. 0.92

01:55:39.000 The referee stabbed him and killed him.

01:55:41.000 Then the audience came down. 0.99

01:55:44.000 And ripped the guy apart, decapitated him, and removed his limbs. 0.52

01:55:49.000 The referee. 1.00

01:55:51.000 The fans murdered the referee and cut his head off.

01:55:54.000 And it wasn't just one fan that did this.

01:55:56.000 It was like 28 people that did this. 0.90

01:55:58.000 They tore this guy apart and cut his limbs off and cut his head off. 0.79

01:56:01.000 See? 0.99

01:56:02.000 Everything's perfect.

01:56:06.000 Well, the Buddhists say no snowflake ever falls in the wrong place.

01:56:09.000 No snowflake ever falls on the wrong decapitated neck.

01:56:16.000 It's all with the universe in plan. 1.00

01:56:18.000 Don't go fucking stabbing people and you won't get dismembered in front of a large crowd of soccer fans. 0.99

01:56:24.000 Yeah, I mean, they've arrested a few people, but I don't know how that works. 0.99

01:56:27.000 How many people can you charge for murder?

01:56:29.000 Look at this Brazilian soccer referee beheaded by angry fans who put his head on a stake after he stabbed a player.

01:56:33.000 Jesus!

01:56:35.000 That is old school.

01:56:37.000 Wow, they put his head on a stake.

01:56:39.000 Man, all those primeval ways of dealing with things, all those horrible...

01:56:44.000 Lacrosse.

01:56:45.000 You know how lacrosse started?

01:56:46.000 No.

01:56:47.000 It was a substitute for war among the Iroquois and the people... 0.91

01:56:51.000 Who lived in northeast U.S. and part of Canada.

01:56:54.000 So what they did was they developed this game, and there was no field initially.

01:56:58.000 There was like a hoop that they would put on a stick in one part of the woods and the other one in the other part of the woods, and they had the sticks and all that. 0.98

01:57:07.000 And you would, like, fuck people up. 0.99

01:57:09.000 You'd kill people along the way. 1.00

01:57:11.000 You'd, like, stab people with your stick. 0.72

01:57:13.000 And I don't know if this is true in all cases, but in many cases, the losing team, whoever was still surviving, would then be tortured and killed.

01:57:23.000 So it was actually a substitute for war.

01:57:25.000 Kind of like chess.

01:57:26.000 Why not just go to war?

01:57:27.000 Well, that's what the Mayans did as well. 0.77

01:57:29.000 You know, it's easier.

01:57:31.000 By the way, that doesn't sound like a substitute for war.

01:57:34.000 It's a channeling of war.

01:57:36.000 Well, it's limited.

01:57:37.000 It limits war.

01:57:38.000 It limits it, right.

01:57:39.000 Women and children aren't kids. 1.00

01:57:41.000 Right, right, right.

01:57:42.000 Yeah.

01:57:43.000 And also, I mean, being tortured among those people, when you were talking about the nez per se earlier, I was thinking that sounded to me like the people in that part of North America and the East, because there was a lot of torturing and eating of victims. 1.00

01:57:58.000 But that was seen as honorable.

01:58:01.000 If you were vanquished in battle and captured...

01:58:04.000 And eaten? 0.94

01:58:05.000 And you would be tortured and killed, running the gauntlet, you know? 0.98

01:58:09.000 That's from those tribes. 0.99

01:58:11.000 And they would get everybody out there, old ladies, everybody, and you'd have to run down through this line, and they'd hit you with spiked sticks, and they'd just fuck you up as you went down this corridor. 0.99

01:58:21.000 These are the hunter-gatherers? 0.99

01:58:23.000 These are the perfect people.

01:58:24.000 Well, some were agricultural, but yeah.

01:58:27.000 These are the perfect people that he talks about.

01:58:29.000 See, you guys...

01:58:30.000 Everything's perfect.

01:58:31.000 This is good training for me.

01:58:32.000 The universe is perfect.

01:58:33.000 You guys are actually harder to argue with than academics.

01:58:38.000 Did you ever hear academics don't have any humor?

01:58:41.000 That's true. 0.98

01:58:41.000 Humor is the hardest thing to argue with because you look like a fool when people are laughing at you, no matter whether your point is good or not. 0.98

01:58:46.000 Yes. 0.96

01:58:46.000 In Sunday's New York Times, I was quoted saying, Ted is many things and humorless is generally one of them. 0.96

01:58:54.000 Well, you're right.

01:58:55.000 Yeah, I know.

01:58:56.000 You're right.

01:58:56.000 It's unfortunate that you can't have both.

01:58:59.000 Yeah, what they did to Sarah, I think we probably talked about their whole Sarah Silverman thing.

01:59:03.000 Eddie Wong.

01:59:04.000 They made Eddie Wong stay. 0.99

01:59:05.000 Eddie Wong's a fucking famous chef. 0.99

01:59:07.000 They made him stay with other people. 0.99

01:59:09.000 They made him stay like he was a college kid.

01:59:12.000 And then they trashed him when he left to come do your thing.

01:59:14.000 He's like, I'm taking an afternoon off.

01:59:16.000 No, you can't leave. 1.00

01:59:17.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

01:59:18.000 They make you talk to people. 1.00

01:59:19.000 They make you sleep where they want you to sleep.

01:59:21.000 They provide awesome content, but it's another one of those examples of just because something does something awesome doesn't mean it's not inherently fucked as well as being awesome. 0.98

01:59:30.000 Werner Von Braun was a cunt, but he was also a brilliant rocket scientist. 0.99

01:59:34.000 He was our cunt. 1.00

01:59:35.000 It was eventually our kind. 1.00

01:59:36.000 I mean, it's just a part of the world.

01:59:39.000 There's nothing perfect out there.

01:59:41.000 People try, but so far it's never been achieved.

01:59:44.000 All right, let me throw this against the wall and see if it sticks.

01:59:46.000 There may be something inherently cuntish about people who are high achievers. 0.92

01:59:52.000 They're just competitive. 0.93

01:59:53.000 It's just you don't have to be inherently cuntish to be successful. 0.96

01:59:56.000 But you don't have to be. 0.95

01:59:58.000 No, wait a minute.

01:59:59.000 Don't switch it around, right?

02:00:00.000 No, I'm saying.

02:00:00.000 I'm saying that people who are high achievers – there's a book called The Psychopath Test.

02:00:05.000 Right.

02:00:05.000 Where he shows – John Ronson shows that executives, high-achieving executives, bankers, stockbrokers, military people, politicians have a much higher rate of psychopathy than normal people.

02:00:19.000 Right.

02:00:20.000 Right?

02:00:20.000 So there's something about being a high achiever.

02:00:23.000 You're willing to throw people under the bus. 0.97

02:00:25.000 You're willing to stab people in the back. 0.99

02:00:27.000 You're willing to do what it takes. 0.98

02:00:28.000 You've got the fire in the belly.

02:00:30.000 You've got ambition.

02:00:31.000 Ambition itself is, and I know there are exceptions to this, but I think ambition itself is psychologically pathological.

02:00:39.000 Because you don't want to be where you are.

02:00:41.000 You want to get somewhere else.

02:00:43.000 Ambition without honor.

02:00:44.000 Ambition without ethics.

02:00:45.000 Ambition without morals.

02:00:47.000 Ambition without a code.

02:00:48.000 That's when you run into problems.

02:00:49.000 It's not the ambition itself. 0.98

02:00:51.000 It's the ambition represented in a form of fuckery. 0.98

02:00:55.000 It's represented in cheating. 0.99

02:00:57.000 It's represented in evil behavior.

02:01:00.000 There's absolutely ethical competition.

02:01:03.000 And Anything less than ethical competition should be dishonorable and it should be preferable to be poor.

02:01:10.000 And that's the problem.

02:01:11.000 There's a lack of honor and there's a lack of a code. 0.51

02:01:14.000 And one of the reasons being is that our society and the rules that have been thrust upon us In many ways, it's so ridiculous that we reject it.

02:01:23.000 Yeah, you shouldn't probably walk across the street randomly anywhere and jaywalk and make people slam on their brakes.

02:01:28.000 But you shouldn't make me pay money because I walked across the street.

02:01:31.000 Why do you get money?

02:01:33.000 What is jaywalking?

02:01:34.000 What is that?

02:01:35.000 There's a lot of those things.

02:01:36.000 There's a lot of those things.

02:01:37.000 Parking tickets. 0.99

02:01:39.000 All sorts of stupid things about speeding quotas, where fundamentally, yeah, you probably shouldn't speed, you shouldn't put people in danger, but who the fuck are you to pull people over and make them write paper? 0.99

02:01:50.000 What? 0.99

02:01:50.000 Because we elected someone to be in a position to control the traffic and this is your solution? 0.99

02:01:56.000 This is a stupid fucking solution, man. 1.00

02:01:58.000 This whole thing sucks. 1.00

02:01:59.000 You guys need to steal money from people every year just to pay your fucking salaries. 1.00

02:02:02.000 You're not even funded. 1.00

02:02:03.000 You're funded by the fact that people are getting robbed.

02:02:06.000 You're pulling people over for rolling through a stop sign. 1.00

02:02:09.000 You're a cunt. 1.00

02:02:10.000 You know, the whole thing's cunt-ish. 1.00

02:02:12.000 You're in a cunt business. 1.00

02:02:13.000 And that seems fundamentally to be the problem, is that we don't have codes, that we don't have a clear ethical structure for our society that's based on being nice to people and raising nice children and stopping abuse at the fundamental level of childhood and child-rearing and making and developing shitty human beings that further... 0.99

02:02:37.000 I think we do have a code, though.

02:02:39.000 Well, I don't think it's very clear.

02:02:41.000 No, it's not clear, but I think ultimately the code is get away with whatever you can get away with.

02:02:46.000 But that's not true, because there's many people that are very happy because they've succeeded in life without doing that.

02:02:52.000 Okay, we celebrate.

02:02:53.000 I don't remember which coach it was who said, winning's not the biggest thing, it's the only thing.

02:02:58.000 We celebrate that.

02:03:00.000 That's what you say when you're trying to motivate players.

02:03:02.000 It doesn't mean that that's what people really feel.

02:03:05.000 But have you seen the Alan Watts animation, the South Park animation?

02:03:09.000 Have you seen that?

02:03:09.000 I've seen some of them, yeah.

02:03:10.000 Have you ever seen the Alan Watts South Park animation?

02:03:12.000 Can we play that?

02:03:13.000 You know what I'm talking about?

02:03:14.000 I can find it for you.

02:03:15.000 I'll find it.

02:03:16.000 It's so good.

02:03:16.000 Aren't there a bunch of them?

02:03:17.000 There's one that I'll find that's totally related to this.

02:03:20.000 Hold on.

02:03:20.000 Go ahead, Duncan.

02:03:21.000 Thank you.

02:03:22.000 People celebrate people that have a code.

02:03:26.000 The celebrated code is not do anything you can.

02:03:27.000 But I'm saying on a social level.

02:03:30.000 Look at who gets the most money.

02:03:32.000 Who gets the most money?

02:03:33.000 Not ethical people.

02:03:35.000 But we don't celebrate that in its entirety.

02:03:37.000 We don't celebrate making the most money at all costs.

02:03:40.000 We don't celebrate that.

02:03:41.000 We hate those people.

02:03:41.000 Well, we do celebrate it.

02:03:42.000 No, we do celebrate it by giving them the money.

02:03:44.000 That's the point.

02:03:45.000 That's the structure of celebration.

02:03:47.000 But that's not celebrating.

02:03:47.000 We look down on those people.

02:03:48.000 We get angry at those people. 1.00

02:03:48.000 They don't give a fuck. 1.00

02:03:49.000 But they do. 1.00

02:03:50.000 No, they don't.

02:03:51.000 They don't.

02:03:51.000 See, that's where we disagree.

02:03:52.000 I think every person who's not completely out of their fucking mind thinks about what other people think about them. 0.99

02:03:57.000 All right, then we're back to money being toxic. 0.99

02:03:59.000 But I'm just saying on a...

02:04:00.000 But no, we're not.

02:04:01.000 We're not necessarily money being toxic.

02:04:03.000 It's a simplification, I think.

02:04:05.000 You are slippery.

02:04:06.000 All I'm trying to say is on a social level, social construct, most resources go to those who win at whatever their thing is.

02:04:18.000 Best if they're in banking and finance, because that's where more money's going these days, and not if they do it unethically.

02:04:26.000 The society rewards winning.

02:04:30.000 We talk about politicians who have the fire in the belly, who have the ambition, who have the need to be leaders and so on.

02:04:36.000 Those are not healthy people.

02:04:38.000 The people who should be our leaders are the people who aren't interested in being our leaders.

02:04:41.000 Yes, I agree with you on that.

02:04:42.000 So there's a structural distortion in our society that celebrates something that, on an ethical level, we don't agree with.

02:04:49.000 Can I show you guys this thing?

02:04:50.000 Because it really sums up what you're talking about.

02:04:52.000 Play that video.

02:04:53.000 It's so good.

02:04:53.000 The South Park people animated all these Alan Watts things.

02:04:56.000 It's so good.

02:04:59.000 We don't hear anything.

02:05:00.000 In music, one doesn't make the end of a composition...

02:05:05.000 The point of the composition.

02:05:07.000 If that was so, the best conductors would be those who played fastest.

02:05:12.000 And there would be composers who wrote only finales.

02:05:17.000 People go to conferences just to hear one crashing chord, because that's the end!

02:05:24.000 But we don't see that as something brought by our education into our everyday conduct.

02:05:31.000 We've got a system of schooling that gives a completely different impression.

02:05:36.000 It's all graded.

02:05:37.000 And what we do is we put the child into the corridor of this grade system with a kind of, come on, kitty, kitty, kitty.

02:05:45.000 And, yeah, you go to kindergarten, you know.

02:05:47.000 And that's a great thing because when you finish that, you'll get into first grade.

02:05:52.000 And then come on, first grade leads to second grade, and so on, and then you get out of grade school, you've got high school, and it's revving up, the thing is coming, then you're going to go to college, and by a joke then you get into graduate school, and when you're through with graduate school, you go out and join the world.

02:06:07.000 And then you get into some racket where you're selling insurance.

02:06:11.000 And they've got that quota to make.

02:06:13.000 And you're going to make that.

02:06:14.000 And all the time this thing is coming.

02:06:16.000 It's coming.

02:06:17.000 It's coming.

02:06:17.000 That great thing.

02:06:18.000 The success you're working for.

02:06:20.000 Then when you wake up one day about 40 years old, you say, my God, I've arrived.

02:06:25.000 I'm there.

02:06:27.000 And you don't feel very different from what you always felt.

02:06:30.000 And there's a slight letdown because you feel there's a hoax.

02:06:33.000 And there was a hoax.

02:06:35.000 A dreadful hoax.

02:06:36.000 They made you miss everything.

02:06:38.000 We thought of life by analogy with a journey.

02:06:42.000 With a pilgrimage which had a serious purpose at the end and the thing was to get to that end.

02:06:47.000 Success or whatever it is or maybe heaven after you're dead.

02:06:51.000 But we missed the point the whole way along.

02:06:53.000 It was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or to dance while the music was being played. 1.00

02:06:59.000 Live your life, bitches. 1.00

02:07:01.000 Yeah, isn't that cool? 1.00

02:07:02.000 Alan Watts is a bad motherfucker. 1.00

02:07:04.000 Yes, he was, man. 1.00

02:07:05.000 Yeah, totally.

02:07:06.000 So that's the ambition that you're talking about.

02:07:08.000 It's like when people are always rushing at and rushing at, trying to get to this- That's just a lack of balance.

02:07:14.000 When we're talking about the bankers and the people that are handling the money, what percentage of our population is actually bankers versus what percentage of our population is actually ambitious?

02:07:22.000 Versus what percentage of the resources of our society go to those people.

02:07:26.000 We have a corrupt system.

02:07:27.000 It's insane.

02:07:28.000 It's just a corrupt system, and once people are in power, they're very reluctant to give away any of that power.

02:07:32.000 And so they keep lobbying and bribing, essentially, people to keep the laws in place.

02:07:37.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:07:38.000 The reason I'm arguing so vociferously about this is that I think that you're right.

02:07:43.000 It's not clear because we've got a two-track system.

02:07:45.000 We've got an ethical system that tells kids, be nice to each other.

02:07:49.000 You know, blah, blah, blah.

02:07:51.000 The golden rule.

02:07:52.000 But the structure underlying the fundamentals of our society are sending the opposite message. 1.00

02:08:00.000 They're saying, fuck everybody. 1.00

02:08:02.000 Get yours. 1.00

02:08:03.000 I don't think they are, though.

02:08:05.000 This is why it's a simplification, because we obviously have rules in place to keep people from stealing.

02:08:09.000 We obviously have rules in place to prevent fraud.

02:08:11.000 But as Duncan said, not if they're inside the system.

02:08:14.000 That's the point.

02:08:15.000 If you steal $100 million...

02:08:16.000 That's what House of Cards is all about.

02:08:18.000 Nobody went to jail for what happened in Wall Street.

02:08:21.000 Nobody.

02:08:21.000 All those banks you talked about in Miami laundering drug money, they've been doing it for decades, hundreds of millions of dollars a year.

02:08:29.000 Nobody's ever gone to jail for that.

02:08:31.000 Right, but that's not out in the public, and that's not out in the open.

02:08:34.000 What's out in the public and what's out in the open is what we hear about in the news.

02:08:40.000 Exactly.

02:08:40.000 It's the poor people getting hauled away, the skinny guy in handcuffs.

02:08:44.000 So what I'm saying is there's this...

02:08:45.000 Fundamental hypocrisy at the heart of American society, and many other societies, but particularly American society, where the ethical message is in direct contradiction with the fundamental values of the way the society is structured.

02:09:00.000 I see what you're saying then about corruption being because of human ambition and that human ambition, when it gets into positions of power, ultimate power corrupting ultimately, that there's almost no way to avoid it.

02:09:13.000 That maybe it's just that human beings should never be in that kind of a position of power.

02:09:17.000 Maybe something like a corporation where you can go outside of the laws of human one-on-one interaction.

02:09:24.000 Maybe something like that just really should have never been allowed to take place.

02:09:27.000 Because as soon as you allow people to have groups and those groups to have massive influence and then them to benefit personally from that massive influence, the decisions that they make affect so many people and are so gigantic, they're almost anti-human.

02:09:41.000 Yeah.

02:09:52.000 Exactly.

02:09:56.000 Exactly.

02:09:59.000 Ambition is what a problem is.

02:10:01.000 The problem is when it gets funneled into these giant groups.

02:10:04.000 Because one person on their own doesn't really have that much power.

02:10:07.000 They have the power that they can physically do whatever they can do with people around them. 0.72

02:10:11.000 But most of the time when you're fucking around and you're one person and you're subjugating a bunch of different people, they all attack you. 0.96

02:10:18.000 They'll go after you. 0.96

02:10:19.000 What the problem is when things become so big, they can no longer be attacked.

02:10:23.000 And shame is no longer an effective form of controlling.

02:10:26.000 It doesn't mean anything to that. 0.96

02:10:27.000 Because, like, hey, I don't give a shit if I'm, like, destroying the Amazon with my oil wells because my friends like me. 0.90

02:10:34.000 Because I throw good parties and I take them out on my god. 0.98

02:10:37.000 We all do it.

02:10:37.000 We're all doing it.

02:10:38.000 Everyone's doing it.

02:10:38.000 I'm destroying the Amazon.

02:10:39.000 You're destroying it.

02:10:40.000 We'd all be together in it and we'd sort of justify it in some sort of a way.

02:10:43.000 Yeah.

02:10:44.000 There's the locusts.

02:10:45.000 Louis Theroux was on.

02:10:46.000 He was talking about Fred Phelps and that crazy Baptist church, Westboro Baptist Church. 1.00

02:10:50.000 He spent three weeks with the guy. 0.98

02:10:52.000 And he said that one of the weirdest aspects of his trip was that after three weeks, although it didn't change his views of the world, he thought all the things they were saying, you know, God hates fags and all that, was very horrific. 0.94

02:11:01.000 It became normal and commonplace.

02:11:04.000 It became like the impact of it was less because he had been around it for so long that he had been sort of acclimated to it.

02:11:10.000 And he thinks it's one of the ways that these people get away in their own mind with doing this and sort of connecting it to the idea that this is God's word is because they just get so accustomed to it.

02:11:20.000 They get acclimated to madness.

02:11:22.000 They get tuned in.

02:11:23.000 As do we all.

02:11:24.000 As do we all.

02:11:25.000 Right?

02:11:25.000 That's the thing.

02:11:26.000 That's what we're so good at.

02:11:27.000 But you get to decide what you want to harmonize with.

02:11:29.000 And if you're like, that's what I'm saying.

02:11:32.000 A little bit.

02:11:33.000 A little bit if you can.

02:11:34.000 If you can. 0.98

02:11:35.000 But if you're a child or if you're raised in a terrible fucking place where you can't get out and you're stuck there as an adult. 0.98

02:11:41.000 Books, man. 0.98

02:11:42.000 Books are the greatest tuning forks there.

02:11:44.000 If they exist.

02:11:45.000 But then it brings back to the internet.

02:11:46.000 Because that's what I always say is the great savior of the human being.

02:11:49.000 Because the internet connects all the ideas together to everyone, everywhere, whenever it's available.

02:11:53.000 But you have to decide what you're going to look for.

02:11:56.000 That's the main thing.

02:11:57.000 What are you mining for? 1.00

02:12:00.000 If you're mining for demons, there's a part of this mine that's filled with fucking demons. 1.00

02:12:04.000 But you can harmonize. 1.00

02:12:07.000 That's the thing.

02:12:07.000 You can tune in, for sure.

02:12:09.000 And there are lots of different ways to do that.

02:12:12.000 It isn't hopeless.

02:12:13.000 This is that joke.

02:12:15.000 I've actually given up the joke, because I can't make it funny, but I've been saying it.

02:12:19.000 Being...

02:12:20.000 In the United States, it's like being a cell in the body of a very healthy serial killer.

02:12:26.000 You know?

02:12:27.000 And it's like...

02:12:28.000 So the...

02:12:31.000 The thing to do is not to try to destroy the organism or try to, like, you're not going to be able to fight against an entire thing.

02:12:37.000 It's to fix yourself.

02:12:39.000 That's what it is.

02:12:40.000 Fix yourself.

02:12:41.000 But you fix yourself, then you become the cancer cell.

02:12:45.000 Because you're disruptive to the dominant logic of your host, right?

02:12:51.000 Yeah, but hopefully, it's not hopefully, like, the idea is, like, if, you know, you get one really fucking happy person, and that happy person is going to change the people around them. 0.80

02:13:01.000 True. 0.59

02:13:01.000 Well, that nun, did you hear about this nun who just went to prison? 0.59

02:13:04.000 She's like in her 80s in Pennsylvania.

02:13:06.000 She was one of these nuns who broke into some top secret defense lab in Pennsylvania or Maryland.

02:13:14.000 They went in at night and nobody caught them and they like went.

02:13:17.000 And they didn't hurt anything, but they were demonstrating how unsecure the information there was and how easy it would be.

02:13:24.000 And they stayed there peacefully and got arrested.

02:13:27.000 I think it was a nun and two priests.

02:13:29.000 And she just went to prison. 0.99

02:13:32.000 I mean, she became, you know, disruptive to...

02:13:35.000 Look at Snowden as another example.

02:13:37.000 Yeah, sure.

02:13:37.000 Bradley Manning.

02:13:39.000 Snowden.

02:13:40.000 I mean, Manning and Snowden.

02:13:41.000 Like, if you look at that, they tuned into a higher frequency, which is the frequency of justice, of truth, of what's right, a higher ethic.

02:13:50.000 He tuned into that, and he...

02:13:51.000 He sacrificed everything for it.

02:13:54.000 Now he's a hero.

02:13:55.000 And he's created change.

02:13:57.000 Big time change in the body of the serial killer.

02:13:59.000 It is that he didn't fix it, but goddammit, that's not going away.

02:14:03.000 People aren't forgetting the fact that they're being monitored.

02:14:05.000 That didn't go anywhere.

02:14:06.000 That's constantly going to be...

02:14:08.000 That would be an example of a serial killer having something go from the subconscious to the conscious.

02:14:15.000 You know, where suddenly the serial killer is like, ugh.

02:14:18.000 It's a kidney stone. 1.00

02:14:19.000 Shit, I'm killing people every day. 1.00

02:14:23.000 I don't know if this is really good. 1.00

02:14:25.000 It created a little bit of indigestion in society. 1.00

02:14:30.000 And one person did that.

02:14:32.000 That's one person doing what he thinks right.

02:14:35.000 So what happens if we get five of those people?

02:14:37.000 And then what happens if you get 20 of those people?

02:14:40.000 The change could be so drastic and radical that it would make your head spin.

02:14:44.000 Well, I think he's going to be looked at in the future as a revolutionary.

02:14:47.000 He's going to be looked at as a guy who sacrificed his own safety to save the culture.

02:14:51.000 And, you know, when you see that guy do that video conference from South by Southwest and there's a giant standing ovation, what other person who's being shielded by another country, a country that we always think of as evil, gets treated like that?

02:15:03.000 What other criminal that's running from the long arm of the government He's hiding.

02:15:09.000 Literally, he calls himself like a large house cat.

02:15:11.000 That's what he says.

02:15:12.000 He has the life of a domestic house cat.

02:15:14.000 Because he doesn't go outside.

02:15:16.000 Wow.

02:15:16.000 He just lives inside the house.

02:15:18.000 And if he did go outside, it would be Russia, which also sucks. 1.00

02:15:21.000 Yeah, it sucks. 1.00

02:15:22.000 And he's probably on some giant list of death wishes. 1.00

02:15:26.000 I mean, of people who they want dead. 1.00

02:15:28.000 It's too bad the WikiLeaks guy is as fucked up as he is. 1.00

02:15:33.000 He's fucked up in what way? 1.00

02:15:34.000 Well, he's apparently a real asshole and very egotistical and manipulative and narcissistic. 1.00

02:15:40.000 I wouldn't reserve judgment until I met him. 1.00

02:15:42.000 I really would.

02:15:43.000 Can you imagine how much character assassination has been doctored up about that guy?

02:15:48.000 If you're going to come up with one guy to character assassinate, it would be Julian Assange. 0.99

02:15:52.000 He looks like a douchebag. 0.98

02:15:53.000 He's got silver hair. 0.99

02:15:54.000 There's videos of him dancing. 1.00

02:15:56.000 It's so easy to just say that guy's a cunt. 1.00

02:15:59.000 But I don't know that guy. 1.00

02:16:00.000 God forbid any video of me seriously dancing emerges on the fucking internet. 1.00

02:16:05.000 Anyone could easily take a point of view of either one of us, especially if they, you know, had us stuck in a house somewhere, that you were a total piece of shit. 1.00

02:16:13.000 Because you become some gigantic controversial figure and you might have jeopardized American safety by releasing military secrets and there's so many variables there that it's so easy to label you a cunt. 1.00

02:16:24.000 Plus you look like a cunt. 1.00

02:16:26.000 You know, he looks like a cunt. 1.00

02:16:27.000 His fucking silvery hair and his fucking posh accent. 1.00

02:16:31.000 Fuck that guy. 1.00

02:16:31.000 That's what everybody thinks. 1.00

02:16:32.000 And then you hear all this crazy shit about him, you know, being creepy to women and, oh, I saw that coming. 0.99

02:16:38.000 Yeah, right. 1.00

02:16:39.000 Yeah, well, that's definitely a setup, that whole rape thing. 1.00

02:16:42.000 Well, it's certainly a really transparent way to try to get him out of the country. 0.99

02:16:46.000 I mean, that's the most transparent shit ever. 0.97

02:16:48.000 Oh, you're not worried about the WikiLeaks thing? 1.00

02:16:50.000 You're worried about he might have had sex with someone?

02:16:51.000 Yeah.

02:16:52.000 Yeah, someone who actually invited him over for another night after the event. 1.00

02:16:57.000 And what she was pissed off about wasn't that he fucked her, it's that he fucked her without a condom. 1.00

02:17:01.000 Yeah, in the middle, they were lying naked in bed. 1.00

02:17:03.000 Right. 0.97

02:17:04.000 He got a boner, he stuck her in, and she got mad. 0.99

02:17:06.000 Come on. 0.94

02:17:07.000 Even if she did get mad, which, by the way, she does have every right to get mad. 1.00

02:17:10.000 How'd that become an international incident? 0.96

02:17:12.000 How is that something where you're fucking locking some guy up? 0.98

02:17:14.000 Right. 0.96

02:17:14.000 What kind of a balance does that show when you look at what people are getting arrested for and not getting arrested for? 0.96

02:17:20.000 Yeah, that's a shithead thing to do, and that girl shouldn't hang out with that guy anymore. 1.00

02:17:24.000 But if you did go out with him again afterwards, well, people are allowed to make mistakes. 1.00

02:17:27.000 But you're not allowed to lock that guy up in a fucking house for a year and have armies waiting with loaded guns standing outside to take his fucking head off before he can testify. 0.99

02:17:37.000 Yeah, that's it, man. 1.00

02:17:38.000 That's the thing.

02:17:39.000 It's creepy when you think about the trajectory, because I remember they were talking about, yeah, okay, well, what if he does go back to stand trial?

02:17:45.000 Is there a possibility that there's an extradition policy where they could put him back in the United States?

02:17:50.000 And I'm like, well, yeah, they do have an extradition policy.

02:17:52.000 And then it's like, okay, so wait, there's an extradition policy.

02:17:55.000 He goes to the United States.

02:17:55.000 Is there any potential he could be executed for what he did?

02:17:59.000 I'm like, well, it's a little unlikely, but yes, he could be executed.

02:18:04.000 He will no doubt be arrested and jailed forever.

02:18:06.000 And probably killed in jail before he even gets to trial.

02:18:10.000 Maybe not.

02:18:10.000 Maybe he'll be stuck Manning style in solitary confinement naked in a cold cell where you barely stay alive.

02:18:17.000 Being given fucking larium like I was telling you. 1.00

02:18:19.000 Did you know about that? 1.00

02:18:21.000 Fucking chemical waterboarding. 1.00

02:18:22.000 Just being given fucking larium. 1.00

02:18:24.000 Read my friend's book. 0.99

02:18:25.000 The answer to the riddle is me.

02:18:26.000 It's great. 1.00

02:18:27.000 He got amnesia in fucking India. 1.00

02:18:29.000 Because larium will explain to people. 1.00

02:18:31.000 People don't know what larium is.

02:18:33.000 Well, larium is an anti-malaria drug that for a small percentage of people who take it, it can accumulate in your brain.

02:18:43.000 And then suddenly, in my friend's book, he describes it as...

02:18:48.000 Putting your thumb on top of a hose on one of your neurons.

02:18:53.000 I'm sure I'm saying it wrong, but it's like basically all your... 0.99

02:18:56.000 I'm going to say it in my own way, the dumb way. 1.00

02:18:59.000 It's like your brain juice goes spraying all in the wrong places, and then you end up completely losing your fucking mind. 1.00

02:19:06.000 My friend forgot who he was, had no idea who he was. 1.00

02:19:10.000 He...

02:19:11.000 Lost all of his memories.

02:19:13.000 Had to be reminded of what his life was.

02:19:16.000 Had to go through all his pictures. 0.99

02:19:17.000 This is all in this fucking great book. 0.95

02:19:19.000 And I do want to plug it because he's one of my best friends. 0.97

02:19:21.000 The answer to the riddle is me. 0.90

02:19:23.000 So fucking good. 0.88

02:19:24.000 But in this book, he talks about the history of Larium. 0.99

02:19:27.000 And then he talks about how at goddamn Guantanamo Bay, they're giving this drug to people who they know, that they know causes amnesia and insanity. 0.95

02:19:35.000 They're giving it to people in Guantanamo Bay in massive doses. 0.98

02:19:39.000 And apparently there's no malaria there. 0.98

02:19:41.000 There's no mosquitoes that cause malaria there, so why the fuck are they giving these people this drug? 0.99

02:19:47.000 It's sinister, man. 0.98

02:19:48.000 So they're giving them the drug just to erase their memory. 0.99

02:19:51.000 It's essentially like their version of what the aliens do to you after they check your butt. 0.99

02:19:55.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:19:56.000 Exactly.

02:19:57.000 They're wiping... 1.00

02:19:58.000 They're just fucking with their brains. 1.00

02:20:00.000 It's a psychedelic. 1.00

02:20:01.000 When your brain malfunctions on larium, it's basically like you're on acid for a couple of months.

02:20:06.000 Like, you don't just lose your memory.

02:20:08.000 Walls bend. 0.98

02:20:09.000 There's a suicide note in his book of a guy who was just talking about how it's been like three years and he's still exactly as fucked up as he was when he started taking larium. 0.97

02:20:19.000 It's a note to his family. 0.96

02:20:21.000 But the point is...

02:20:22.000 And that's a guy who was never charged with a crime, by the way.

02:20:25.000 Right.

02:20:25.000 Exactly.

02:20:27.000 That's what I'm saying. 0.99

02:20:28.000 So fucking Assange comes back here. 0.99

02:20:29.000 It's not just like they're going to lock him up. 1.00

02:20:30.000 It's like they're going to be injecting all kinds of weird shit into his body. 0.98

02:20:34.000 They're going to be filling him with weird chemicals. 0.99

02:20:36.000 That's spooky, man.

02:20:38.000 It's very spooky.

02:20:38.000 It's very spooky and it's very strange how many people don't see it that way.

02:20:42.000 How many people say, well, if everybody did that, they gave away the United States secrets.

02:20:47.000 What is the United States?

02:20:48.000 It's a collection of humans.

02:20:50.000 And at the very top of that collection, what exactly are they doing?

02:20:53.000 They're doing what?

02:20:54.000 They're doing this? 1.00

02:20:55.000 They're shooting missiles at fucking minivans filled with kids? 1.00

02:20:58.000 They're working for corporations. 1.00

02:20:59.000 What are they doing?

02:21:00.000 They're extracting money.

02:21:02.000 National interest!

02:21:03.000 Hey, speaking of books, did you and Louis Theroux talk about his dad at all?

02:21:06.000 No.

02:21:07.000 You know who his dad is?

02:21:08.000 No.

02:21:08.000 His dad's a really well-known writer.

02:21:10.000 Really?

02:21:11.000 Yeah.

02:21:11.000 Didn't know that.

02:21:12.000 He's probably the most famous travel writer in the world, Paul Theroux.

02:21:15.000 He wrote The Mosquito Coast, great movie, Harrison Ford.

02:21:18.000 Oh, yeah.

02:21:18.000 That's great.

02:21:19.000 No kidding.

02:21:19.000 I don't think he brought that up.

02:21:21.000 It was a great conversation, though.

02:21:22.000 He was really fascinating.

02:21:23.000 I watched the first half of it.

02:21:24.000 He's great.

02:21:25.000 He's such a cool guy.

02:21:27.000 Very nice guy.

02:21:28.000 He thinks I'm in a cult, though.

02:21:29.000 He thinks I've started a cult.

02:21:31.000 I could tell.

02:21:32.000 He was examining me.

02:21:33.000 Is he based in LA? He is now.

02:21:36.000 But the way he does his shows, you can tell he looks for cults everywhere.

02:21:42.000 Did you tell him to shave his head? 0.99

02:21:44.000 Peculiar Americans. 0.99

02:21:45.000 I stopped telling him that. 0.99

02:21:47.000 Told him a couple times.

02:21:48.000 Tells everybody to shave their head.

02:21:50.000 Well, he's got a big beard now.

02:21:52.000 He's got the Jesus beard. 0.78

02:21:53.000 He broke out the beard on the website.

02:21:54.000 It was the first time he ever did it.

02:21:56.000 It was on the podcast.

02:21:57.000 First time he ever showed the beard.

02:21:58.000 I was very proud of that.

02:22:00.000 So what about this LSD-tainted meat in a Walmart?

02:22:04.000 Who's injecting LSD into those people?

02:22:06.000 On Reddit, they said...

02:22:08.000 I didn't examine this, but they said that LSD, if you cooked it in meat...

02:22:15.000 It wouldn't last.

02:22:16.000 It's a very delicate chemical.

02:22:18.000 Good point.

02:22:19.000 I've heard that also about the French case where the CIA dosed all these people's bread.

02:22:25.000 There was supposedly an experiment that the French town, the CIA dosed an entire town.

02:22:31.000 Wait a minute.

02:22:32.000 I suspect that story might be a mixture.

02:22:38.000 St. Vitus' Fire, I think it's called.

02:22:42.000 There's a story about the witch hunts.

02:22:45.000 And some anthropologists went back and looked at towns that had the most sort of crazy witch hunts in the medieval period.

02:22:54.000 And he found that the year previous to that, there had been an unusually high level of rain.

02:23:00.000 And so ergot, which is a fungus that grows on rye and wheat and some other grains, had grown a lot more.

02:23:07.000 And ergot also contains...

02:23:09.000 LSD. I think it's actually a late frost, but I think you're right.

02:23:13.000 I think it's a late frost that's the issue.

02:23:16.000 So it was in the bread.

02:23:18.000 Yeah, this was not that case, though.

02:23:20.000 This was something different.

02:23:21.000 That's one of the things that they used with the Salem witch trials.

02:23:24.000 The Salem witch trials they blamed on ergot.

02:23:26.000 Oh, really?

02:23:27.000 Yeah.

02:23:27.000 They think that when all these people were freaking out about being hexed, and that's probably what was going on.

02:23:32.000 They were probably having really intense psychedelic experiences. 1.00

02:23:35.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:23:45.000 Ooh. 1.00

02:23:48.000 Ooh. 1.00

02:24:04.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:24:18.000 But I don't know what the reference to this is, because this is in the Telegraph. 1.00

02:24:22.000 Is the Telegraph like the Daily Mail, or is it more legit?

02:24:25.000 I think it's in between.

02:24:27.000 Close.

02:24:27.000 It's not the Guardian.

02:24:28.000 Yeah.

02:24:29.000 Well, they have all these scientists. 0.98

02:24:31.000 Well, they definitely were fucking around with LSD. Mm-hmm. 0.99

02:24:34.000 The old Co-Intel Pro thing.

02:24:35.000 Oh, they did that with...

02:24:36.000 There's plenty of videos where they did that with soldiers.

02:24:39.000 Yeah.

02:24:39.000 And that's also what the Harvard LSD studies, it's what created the Unabomber.

02:24:43.000 The Unabomber was a part of the Harvard LSD studies, and when they did him, after he got dosed up, he became a fucking nut. 0.98

02:24:50.000 That's what happened with him. 0.98

02:24:51.000 Ted Kaczynski was in the Harvard LSD studies.

02:24:57.000 There's a documentary on it called The Net.

02:24:59.000 And it's about that very situation. 0.99

02:25:02.000 Ted Kaczynski being a part of the Harvard LSD studies, they don't know what the fuck they did to those kids. 1.00

02:25:07.000 They dosed the shit out of those kids. 0.99

02:25:09.000 And he went from there to become a professor, saved up all of his money from school just to be able to buy this cabin in the woods, live there, and plot the demise of technology. 1.00

02:25:18.000 Yeah, he became a fucking complete nutter. 0.98

02:25:21.000 I mean, whether or not he was a nutter before that, who knows? 0.99

02:25:23.000 But the fact remains is that guy was a part of the Harvard LSD studies.

02:25:27.000 And, you know, they're very secretive about what actually went on in those studies.

02:25:31.000 Which studies are we talking about?

02:25:32.000 At the Divinity School?

02:25:33.000 I'll tell you right now.

02:25:34.000 Ted Kaczynski will find...

02:25:36.000 They did studies with Divinity School students at Harvard, and then Leary and Alpert now...

02:25:42.000 Ram Dass gave psilocybin, I think it was, to some of their students, but relatively light doses as far as I know.

02:25:51.000 Yeah, but that's the problem when you say that, as far as I know.

02:25:54.000 I don't know what they did either, but if I was fucking up a bunch of people's brains and afterwards people came to interview me, I'd say relatively small doses.

02:26:04.000 We didn't create any Unabombers or anything. 0.99

02:26:05.000 Have you guys seen that image of ergot under a microscope?

02:26:09.000 Have you seen it?

02:26:09.000 I'm sure, yeah.

02:26:10.000 Have you seen that, Joe?

02:26:11.000 It looks like mushrooms.

02:26:12.000 It's amazing.

02:26:14.000 Okay, this is, yeah, here it is.

02:26:17.000 This is...

02:26:18.000 In 1959, Ted Gizinski was...

02:26:22.000 He was absolutely a part of it.

02:26:25.000 80 sophomores administer a series of scales of questionnaires dealing with various dimensions of personality.

02:26:31.000 Picked 25 subjects, some extremely high, some extremely low, and some in the middle of each of these scales.

02:26:35.000 Studied 25 subjects over a year period by the multi-form method of assessment.

02:26:41.000 Come up with 700 rank orders using a computer...

02:26:56.000 Does it say anything about LSD? Yes.

02:27:02.000 This is part one of this whole thing.

02:27:06.000 They also...

02:27:07.000 No evidence LSD was ever used.

02:27:11.000 Hold on a second. 0.98

02:27:13.000 This is all very complicated shit, apparently, and it's hard to discern what exactly was going on during these studies. 0.98

02:27:20.000 By the way, I just want to put in... 0.99

02:27:22.000 I don't mean to interrupt you.

02:27:24.000 No, it's okay, man.

02:27:25.000 While you're looking at it, I want to put in a good word for the Unabomber. 1.00

02:27:28.000 Good dude? 0.52

02:27:29.000 I'm not convinced that he's a nut.

02:27:33.000 What?

02:27:34.000 I think that he took his line of reasoning too far, obviously. 0.99

02:27:39.000 He's killing people.

02:27:40.000 But we could say the same thing about all sorts of... 0.99

02:27:56.000 There's a difference between pedophiles and pederasts. 0.55

02:28:01.000 And it's something I didn't really understand until I started talking about pedophiles and somebody wrote to me and pointed out that a pedophile is someone who has sexual attraction for people that we consider too young to be appropriate, whether that's at 18 or 16 or 12 or whatever.

02:28:17.000 Generally prepubescent though.

02:28:20.000 And a pederast is someone who acts on it.

02:28:23.000 And that's an important distinction because I remember reading this thing in Dan Savage's column where somebody wrote in to him and said, look, I'm attracted to kids sexually.

02:28:32.000 I would never touch a kid.

02:28:35.000 But it's in me.

02:28:36.000 I can't help it.

02:28:37.000 It's in me.

02:28:38.000 I want to.

02:28:39.000 And I want to get therapy.

02:28:41.000 I want someone to help me strengthen my resolve never to do this.

02:28:46.000 But by law, American therapists have to report you if you express a sexual desire toward children.

02:28:53.000 So this guy is fundamentally prohibited from seeking any help.

02:28:58.000 There are no, like, group therapy sessions.

02:29:01.000 There's no—if you're that—you've got that in you, and we know that, you know, kinks of all sorts get placed in a personality and you can't get it out, but you can learn to deal with it, choose how to enact it or not enact it. 0.96

02:29:14.000 But— Pedophiles have no opportunity for that.

02:29:17.000 In Canada, they do, but in the United States, they can't.

02:29:19.000 Yeah, they sealed the records from Harvard, class of 1962. They sealed all the records on Kaczynski, and they won't release them.

02:29:29.000 But it was absolutely a part of something called the Murray Study.

02:29:32.000 And the Murray Study was, the Murray Center seals Kaczynski data. 1.00

02:29:38.000 This is fucking fascinating shit, man. 1.00

02:29:40.000 They might have cooked that dude's brain. 1.00

02:29:41.000 They might have cooked that dude's brain and created a monster. 1.00

02:29:44.000 But you're right, though.

02:29:46.000 He sees the future of the industrial society.

02:29:48.000 That is what he was describing.

02:29:50.000 You're right, that he sees, like, oh my god, this can only go one way.

02:29:53.000 But in his crazed state, where he wasn't able to dance and play music like Alan Watts suggested, he was only able to focus on the finish line of the machines taking over the world.

02:30:03.000 Yeah, and he turned into the monster.

02:30:05.000 He's a way bigger monster than the society that he was trying to destroy. 1.00

02:30:08.000 And what a disservice he did for his message because now there's a fucking mail bomb underlining everything he did. 0.99

02:30:14.000 So even if there was a bunch of good stuff, he shit all over his own work because he didn't have the foresight to understand that you're using the tools of the people that you're so angry at to try to change the people you're so angry at. 0.99

02:30:28.000 Like every terrorist, right? 0.96

02:30:30.000 Yeah.

02:30:30.000 Well, everybody who thinks that they're right.

02:30:32.000 The net is the documentary.

02:30:34.000 The Unabomber, LSD, and the internet.

02:30:36.000 Really fascinating stuff.

02:30:37.000 I recommend it.

02:30:38.000 Very interesting.

02:30:39.000 And, you know, the reality of the United States experimenting, whether or not they really did this with this French town, I should probably throw that into Snopes, right?

02:30:48.000 Maybe Snopes will be able to tell me that's not true.

02:30:51.000 Let's snope it.

02:30:54.000 Snopes is great.

02:30:55.000 It's a heartbreaker, though, sometimes.

02:30:57.000 Yeah, but those heartbreaks are important.

02:30:59.000 Okay, French bread, Snopes.

02:31:02.000 They must have it.

02:31:03.000 Oh, it's just the message board.

02:31:05.000 The message board is really tricky.

02:31:07.000 They haven't.

02:31:08.000 Now that you mention it, though, I have read about that, and not that that makes it true, but...

02:31:13.000 I have heard about that in the past.

02:31:15.000 Well, they do.

02:31:16.000 I mean, we know that the CIA was dosing people.

02:31:19.000 Oh, sure.

02:31:20.000 There's no question that they did do it.

02:31:22.000 And that's one of the problems with being a black and white sort of a person. 0.85

02:31:26.000 Like being a yes, the government's good, or no, the government's bad. 1.00

02:31:31.000 It's really hard to be either or, because there's a lot of crazy shit going on. 0.95

02:31:34.000 And I find that a lot of these people that are Never willing to entertain any conspiracy theories at all. 0.99

02:31:40.000 One of the reasons why they do it is because they don't want to be thought of as a fool. 0.69

02:31:43.000 They want to be a no-nonsense person.

02:31:45.000 And a no-nonsense person almost always sides with the official story.

02:31:49.000 Which is nonsense.

02:31:51.000 Yeah, which is nonsense.

02:31:52.000 Many, many times.

02:31:54.000 My favorite one is just the idea of the conspiracy of 9-11.

02:31:58.000 I've had this with many people that are no-nonsense type, and you say, do you believe that 9-11 happened?

02:32:04.000 And if they say yes, you go, well, then you believe in conspiracies. 0.99

02:32:07.000 No matter who did that, that was a fucking conspiracy. 0.99

02:32:11.000 I forget who... 0.99

02:32:12.000 I would like to give someone credit for that quote.

02:32:15.000 I don't remember who it was, though.

02:32:16.000 It was one of us, I think.

02:32:18.000 I don't know who it was.

02:32:19.000 Might have been me.

02:32:20.000 I don't know.

02:32:20.000 It might have been somebody else.

02:32:22.000 But I remember thinking that for the first time is such a great and elegant way to describe the potential for conspiracy.

02:32:29.000 And that people don't want to look at the potential for conspiracy.

02:32:32.000 They want to pretend...

02:32:34.000 That everything is exactly as CNN tells you. 1.00

02:32:37.000 And other than that, it's just a bunch of shit that's a little wishy-washy to protect terrorism, you from terrorism. 0.99

02:32:44.000 Yeah, or depending on what side of the fence you're on, you know? 0.99

02:32:48.000 If you're getting cluster bombs dropped on you by robots, then that's a terrorist act.

02:32:54.000 The most terror. 1.00

02:32:55.000 It's a fucking robot that can't even tell whether or not you're the right guy to go after. 1.00

02:32:58.000 Truly is a terror inducer. 1.00

02:33:00.000 I mean, the United States induces terror in so many people all the time.

02:33:04.000 Well, how about these latest revelations that they use metadata to find cell phones?

02:33:08.000 They used the data that says that this is your cell phone, and they want to get you, so they shoot a missile at the cell phone, hoping you're near it.

02:33:18.000 Like, that is one of the most evil, indiscriminate acts of destruction and murder that you could ever possibly engage in. 0.99

02:33:23.000 You don't care if there's babies next to that cell phone playing fucking Candy Chase on it or whatever these fucking games are that kids play these days. 0.99

02:33:31.000 Candy Cluster, whatever it is. 1.00

02:33:32.000 Candy Crush.

02:33:33.000 Candy Crush.

02:33:33.000 Saga.

02:33:35.000 You're just shooting at a phone.

02:33:36.000 I mean, the idea that you're just shooting at a phone.

02:33:39.000 That's insane.

02:33:40.000 Have you seen...

02:33:41.000 Then you see Obama in Between Two Ferns.

02:33:45.000 Did you see him with Galifianakis in Between Two Ferns?

02:33:48.000 When did he do that?

02:33:48.000 Today.

02:33:49.000 It came out today.

02:33:50.000 Whoa.

02:33:50.000 And you just see this really...

02:33:52.000 He seems so affable. 0.83

02:33:53.000 He's like the sweetest murderer. 0.99

02:33:56.000 You look at him and you're like, God damn it, man. 0.99

02:33:57.000 He just seems really hip and cool. 0.98

02:34:00.000 But it is interesting how they are using...

02:34:04.000 You know, they're getting savvy.

02:34:05.000 You know what I mean?

02:34:06.000 They're really smart about getting their stuff out there.

02:34:09.000 Well, I think he is cool.

02:34:10.000 I just think you can't be anything other than the President of the United States when you're the President of the United States. 0.98

02:34:15.000 It's like, people used to say to me, why don't you say more funny shit when you're hosting Fear Factor? 0.97

02:34:19.000 Well, because that wasn't my job. 0.97

02:34:20.000 My job was to sort of host Fear Factor.

02:34:22.000 His job is, I mean, terrible analogy, I know, I'm not making Fear Factor in the President of the United States, but I don't think, I think he might, it might be a good analogy because I think he's an actor.

02:34:32.000 I think he plays a role, and that role is the role of the leader of the free world.

02:34:36.000 And I don't think anybody's...

02:34:37.000 There's no leader. 0.99

02:34:38.000 There's a bunch of fucking people that influence whoever is in the position that they call the leader. 1.00

02:34:43.000 And we don't see them. 0.99

02:34:45.000 Yeah, and I don't think we're ever going to really get a handle on how the whole thing is fucking working. 0.86

02:34:49.000 I just don't think we will, but you can get a good indication either one or two things about Obama.

02:34:55.000 We think he's affable and he's very friendly and nice, which I agree with.

02:34:58.000 So if that's the case, why has he done things differently once he got into office than what he said he would do before he got into office? 0.90

02:35:05.000 Is it because once you got in there, he realized that this world is way more fucked and way scarier than anybody could possibly imagine that's not inside the White House?

02:35:13.000 Or is he just being influenced by some unbelievably powerful machine that he can't do anything about, so he's forced to sort of placate these people that got him into positions of power and do their bidding regardless of what his campaign promises are?

02:35:25.000 Either option is not good.

02:35:27.000 But you do look at the economy now, and it seems to be doing good.

02:35:30.000 There's job growth.

02:35:31.000 What?

02:35:32.000 Says who? 0.65

02:35:32.000 The stock market's going up. 0.65

02:35:34.000 That's why they say it's good, because the stock market's going up.

02:35:36.000 But you even look at, you know, the employment numbers are going up a little bit, but look at what kind of jobs those are.

02:35:42.000 They're all low-paying jobs.

02:35:44.000 So, you know, it's like they fuck with the metrics to make the message what they want it to be, right?

02:35:49.000 Well, it's just, yeah, I am not an Obama fan, not an Obama defender. 0.96

02:35:54.000 I just can't swallow the fact that he's okay blowing up wedding parties and stuff with drones. 0.99

02:35:59.000 And also, it's hard for me to swallow the fact that he doesn't have the balls to come out, and maybe he can't, but I wish he'd stick up for Snowden and be like, this is a whistleblower, he did a good thing, let's pardon this motherfucker. 0.99

02:36:10.000 Well, how about his campaign campaign? 0.98

02:36:13.000 They had to change the literature on his campaign website because they kept it up for the longest time.

02:36:17.000 But there was a very specific chapter or part about whistleblowers.

02:36:22.000 Marijuana is becoming legal under his presidency.

02:36:25.000 Marijuana seems to be becoming legal.

02:36:27.000 Is that something that you just can't stop? 0.97

02:36:28.000 I mean, at one point in time, when is this country going to have an Arab Spring moment if they keep fucking with us and taking away personal liberties? 1.00

02:36:34.000 There's going to come a moment where people are not going to want to deal with it anymore. 0.82

02:36:37.000 One of the things that's pretty easy to give up on is marijuana.

02:36:40.000 Because by golly, look at what's going on in Colorado.

02:36:43.000 They're profiting from it.

02:36:44.000 It's become part of the economy that is always there, but now it's officially a part where they're paying taxes.

02:36:50.000 They're making millions of dollars in taxes in Colorado for marijuana since February.

02:36:57.000 There will never be an Arab Spring here because the powers that be here are too smart. 1.00

02:37:01.000 What they do is every time the pressure builds up too much, they let out a little pressure by allowing to be elected a cool-seeming black dude, for example, or by allowing the legalization of marijuana, for example.

02:37:13.000 That lets a little pressure off.

02:37:15.000 Things, I think, at the end of the Bush presidency and with the economic collapse, the people were angry enough, you know, That something was going to happen.

02:37:23.000 So they just, like any good negotiator, give something you can afford to lose to keep the other person from pulling out of the deal.

02:37:30.000 I think that's what happens in this country.

02:37:32.000 I think the mistake that happens in Arab countries or other countries where their hands are tied by some empire system...

02:37:39.000 They can't play those games or they're not predisposed to do that.

02:37:43.000 They don't want to give up any power.

02:37:44.000 So I think in this country, that's the problem.

02:37:46.000 We're being numbed by technology.

02:37:48.000 We think we tweet something.

02:37:50.000 We've done a revolutionary act.

02:37:51.000 And every time things really get serious, they'll give a little.

02:37:54.000 Same thing in the Depression, right?

02:37:56.000 Things were really serious.

02:37:57.000 First, they attacked anyone who had anything to do with communism in the 20s, the Red Scare.

02:38:02.000 You know, then the Depression comes along.

02:38:04.000 They allow Roosevelt to get in there.

02:38:06.000 We're good to go.

02:38:21.000 We'd have to have massive support of the people that got you into power to fundamentally restructure things.

02:38:26.000 There's no motivation for them to do that.

02:38:28.000 Right.

02:38:28.000 They like it the way it is.

02:38:29.000 Which is the problem that we were talking about earlier with corporations.

02:38:33.000 They don't act in the interest of human beings, yet they're conducted and they're made out of human beings.

02:38:38.000 I mean, they're constructed from human beings and they don't like human beings.

02:38:42.000 Yeah.

02:38:43.000 But it's sort of like, I mean, and I hate doing this because it's a beautiful, it celebrates music.

02:38:49.000 It's kind of like music, right?

02:38:51.000 I mean, is music made from guitars and violins and pianos?

02:38:55.000 Or is music something else?

02:38:57.000 I kind of feel like corporations are like that.

02:39:00.000 They're like some sort of spirit or something that imbues the participants.

02:39:04.000 Right.

02:39:05.000 Oh, that's so weird.

02:39:06.000 So all the people in a corporation are all possessed by this spirit, and they don't even know they're possessed by it, even though their entire lives are centered around it.

02:39:15.000 So the spirit is manifesting through the corporation, and you're basically seeing one of the old-school deities that people used to worship way back in the day manifesting in a modern way through this organized coven I think?

02:39:33.000 I think?

02:39:52.000 The whole universe is in a constant state of change.

02:39:55.000 Our idea is that somehow or another we're going to reach some point of peace where everything's going to calm down and we can enjoy our society and our golden years.

02:40:04.000 It's never going to happen.

02:40:05.000 It's going to be in a constant state of yin and yang, a push and pull to the very end.

02:40:11.000 I mean, the existence that we're currently participating in seems to have those laws pretty firm. 0.98

02:40:17.000 The tide goes in, the tide goes out, the fucking planets spin around the stars, the stars explode eventually, the planets dry up, stardust becomes more people, more people figure out the atom, they split that bitch, they fucking start making nuclear weapons, they shoot to the moon, it just keeps going on and on and on. 0.92

02:40:34.000 Like, an endless cycle of the same thing happening over and over and over again, constantly changing... 0.98

02:40:40.000 Constantly moving forward.

02:40:42.000 Complexifying.

02:40:42.000 Pulling in and pulling out.

02:40:43.000 It's complexifying.

02:40:45.000 That's this thing I just read.

02:40:46.000 Have you heard about this, how complexity doesn't seem to fit into the idea of a universe cooling down?

02:40:52.000 Because of entropy, which is the opposite.

02:40:54.000 Yeah, it kind of flies in the face of everything, that things are becoming more and more complex.

02:40:58.000 Because if the energy is running out, things should not complexify.

02:41:04.000 They should simplify.

02:41:05.000 Is that correct?

02:41:06.000 Well, that's entropy, yeah.

02:41:08.000 It's running down to nothing.

02:41:10.000 So it doesn't make sense that things are complexifying and there's some kind of...

02:41:14.000 Who knows what that means?

02:41:16.000 But it might indicate that we're like...

02:41:19.000 The flow of time itself, we're just perceiving it the wrong way.

02:41:24.000 We're like, actually, what we think is the past going into the future is actually the future pouring into the past.

02:41:31.000 And the thing that's pouring into the past is some kind of...

02:41:35.000 Super complex harmonized thing.

02:41:38.000 So maybe it is possible, Joe.

02:41:40.000 Maybe it is possible the great giant orgy, the entire planet just filled with humans somehow synced up together.

02:41:47.000 Not the Borg, not soulless, emotionless things, but somehow we all connect and all of a sudden the universe is just spitting out UFOs.

02:41:57.000 Or the planet is, you know?

02:41:58.000 Suddenly we're like spreading through all of space after we've like first harmonized.

02:42:03.000 We're change machines.

02:42:05.000 You know, that's what we are.

02:42:06.000 We're a part of this whole gigantic organism that's known as the Earth, and it's a part of a gigantic organism known as the solar system, which is a part of a gigantic organism known as the universe.

02:42:17.000 I mean, it's just one piece of the thing, and we're change machines.

02:42:20.000 And the multiverse.

02:42:21.000 As Michael McLuhan said.

02:42:22.000 Yeah, and McLuhan said that we are human beings are the sex organs of the machine world.

02:42:27.000 And that's essentially what we're doing.

02:42:29.000 I mean, our whole struggle and...

02:42:34.000 This desire for achieving things has a lot to do with that It has a lot to do with us being a part of this weird process Which is why that guy said it was selfish of you not to have kids Because he's spouting the ideology of the machine world, of which we're the sexual organs. 0.88

02:42:49.000 He's also a dickwad who wants to get some brownie points by saying someone else is wrong. 0.96

02:42:53.000 Breed! 0.95

02:42:54.000 Why won't you breed?

02:42:55.000 Speaking of breeding and people getting involved in your business, why is it that right-wingers are so uptight about abortion?

02:43:01.000 Because most abortions are poor people, and you would think their whole thing is demonizing poor people, so you would think that fewer...

02:43:10.000 You know, non-white poor people would be a good thing from a right-wing perspective, and yet they're participating in creating more of them by making abortion a problem in this country. 1.00

02:43:20.000 It's a strange thing I've never understood.

02:43:22.000 It's a Jesus thing.

02:43:22.000 They don't want you killing babies, and they look at that idea of choice being killing babies, and babies are the greatest things you could ever do.

02:43:30.000 How could anybody want to kill babies?

02:43:32.000 Then why are they against birth control?

02:43:35.000 Well, only the super religious ones are against birth control.

02:43:39.000 You'd have to get to, like, Catholics. 1.00

02:43:40.000 It's very rare that you hear politicians talking about not being pro-birth control.

02:43:45.000 Whoa, whoa.

02:43:46.000 Not in most of the southern states where they only teach abstinence.

02:43:51.000 Abstinence only sex ed in school.

02:43:52.000 I think it's pretty rare for someone to actually stand on a platform of being anti-birth control in 2014, whether it's condoms or anything.

02:44:01.000 I think it's much more prevalent than you think.

02:44:04.000 Maybe.

02:44:04.000 I think it's standard Fox News rhetoric.

02:44:07.000 Oh, is it really?

02:44:08.000 Yeah.

02:44:08.000 Sex without consequences.

02:44:11.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00

02:44:12.000 Sex without consequences. 1.00

02:44:13.000 Fox perverts are banging each other. 0.99

02:44:15.000 So it's anti-pleasure, because they don't want people having sex without consequences. 0.99

02:44:19.000 Did you say Fox News perverts are banging each other? 1.00

02:44:21.000 I guarantee it. 0.89

02:44:22.000 Ah, Jesus, man.

02:44:23.000 Who gets to bang Megan? 1.00

02:44:25.000 What's her name?

02:44:26.000 You do.

02:44:26.000 I wish.

02:44:29.000 She's got to get close to the hive. 0.99

02:44:31.000 Okay, what about hate-fucking? 1.00

02:44:33.000 Are you a hate-fucker, Duncan? 1.00

02:44:35.000 No. 1.00

02:44:37.000 I've never understood that. 0.99

02:44:39.000 The thing like you're fucking someone because you're mad at them? 0.99

02:44:42.000 I guess, yeah. 1.00

02:44:43.000 That just seems horrible.

02:44:45.000 I mean, the only time I would entertain the idea would be the Megan, whatever her name is, and Sarah Palin. 1.00

02:44:53.000 You would hate fuck Sarah Palin? 1.00

02:44:54.000 I think I would. 1.00

02:44:56.000 I'd try to hate fuck her, but I bet I'd fall in love with her halfway through. 1.00

02:45:00.000 You think so? 1.00

02:45:01.000 Sure, why not?

02:45:01.000 What do you think would really appeal to you the most about her?

02:45:04.000 Because I bet she's fucking cool. 0.98

02:45:06.000 Oh, come on. 0.99

02:45:07.000 She's so far from cool.

02:45:09.000 This is the terror of it all, man.

02:45:10.000 It's like, don't confuse the persona with a person.

02:45:13.000 Who knows what's underneath there?

02:45:15.000 I guarantee she's super charismatic, and you just end up being like, God, this is amazing.

02:45:19.000 Yeah, sure, fits me.

02:45:21.000 I don't care.

02:45:21.000 I want to see what it's like, Sarah.

02:45:24.000 Wow.

02:45:25.000 Fist me.

02:45:26.000 Do you think she fists people? 1.00

02:45:27.000 I don't know.

02:45:27.000 Well, that's not the Megan I was thinking of, but yeah.

02:45:30.000 Megan McCain's kind of cool, actually.

02:45:32.000 I was thinking of Megan Kelly, I think.

02:45:34.000 Oh, I know what you're thinking of.

02:45:35.000 You're thinking of...

02:45:36.000 She's very hot. 0.99

02:45:37.000 She's very, like, hot and really mean. 1.00

02:45:40.000 Mean, uptight, like, very American kind of... 1.00

02:45:43.000 And there's some of those women who do the financial shit, you know? 1.00

02:45:48.000 They're just so smoking hot. 1.00

02:45:50.000 And then they open their...

02:45:51.000 Is that Megyn Kelly?

02:45:53.000 Yeah, see?

02:45:53.000 Look at that.

02:45:54.000 She's hot as fuck. 1.00

02:45:55.000 That doesn't even look like... 1.00

02:45:56.000 You know she's standing on someone's face right now. 1.00

02:46:00.000 That's her I-wanna-fuck-you pose. 1.00

02:46:02.000 A guy's not allowed to do that pose, by the way, if you're a newscaster. 1.00

02:46:05.000 You can't sit there with your fucking legs spread open, your gym shorts, the blue ones with the white pinstriping. 1.00

02:46:10.000 Do you guys see that thing where the newscaster says, it's in New York, and the guy's like, keep fucking that chicken. 1.00

02:46:17.000 Have you seen that? 0.99

02:46:18.000 No.

02:46:18.000 Oh, pull that up.

02:46:19.000 That is the funniest thing ever. 1.00

02:46:21.000 Keep fucking that chicken. 1.00

02:46:21.000 It's live, like 6 p.m. 1.00

02:46:23.000 news. 1.00

02:46:24.000 Why does it say keep fucking that chicken? 0.99

02:46:25.000 It's like a banter between the weatherman and the sports guy. 1.00

02:46:30.000 Yeah?

02:46:30.000 Oh, it's less than a minute.

02:46:32.000 I mean, if you pull it up, I don't want to talk about it too much.

02:46:35.000 Did he just make a mistake?

02:46:36.000 I have no idea.

02:46:37.000 That's why I'm asking.

02:46:38.000 I thought you guys might have a theory. 1.00

02:46:39.000 Keep fucking that chicken. 1.00

02:46:41.000 He says that. 1.00

02:46:42.000 That's hilarious.

02:46:42.000 And you'll see the woman's face when he says it.

02:46:46.000 The newscaster woman just loses her shit. 1.00

02:46:48.000 That's really fun. 1.00

02:46:49.000 I'm sure if you just Google, keep fucking the chicken, it's there. 0.99

02:46:53.000 That's so funny when people on the news act normal for a second and it horrifies everyone. 0.98

02:47:00.000 It's really hilarious to see their reactions.

02:47:02.000 It takes a tough man to make a tender forecast, Nick.

02:47:04.000 I guess that's me. 1.00

02:47:06.000 Keep fucking that chicken. 1.00

02:47:07.000 Okay, I'll do this. 1.00

02:47:08.000 Before we continue, the law symbol is called lots of real.

02:47:12.000 You sure that's real?

02:47:13.000 I don't think it's real.

02:47:14.000 I think it's real.

02:47:15.000 It's Ernie and...

02:47:20.000 Yeah, she looked at her face.

02:47:23.000 You think that's real?

02:47:24.000 I think it's real.

02:47:25.000 They apologized for it?

02:47:28.000 They did?

02:47:28.000 Hmm.

02:47:29.000 Well, he just got a little crazy.

02:47:31.000 Who knows, man? 1.00

02:47:32.000 These weirdo Illuminati people, they probably do fuck chickens. 1.00

02:47:35.000 Yeah, maybe it's like a thing. 1.00

02:47:36.000 He just didn't want to tell anybody.

02:47:38.000 It slipped out. 1.00

02:47:39.000 Yeah, he probably fucks a rotisserie chicken. 1.00

02:47:42.000 I bet he buys rotisserie chickens and fucks them. 1.00

02:47:44.000 It would probably work. 0.99

02:47:47.000 Ernie Anastas, right, right. 1.00

02:47:49.000 Keep fucking that chicken. 1.00

02:47:50.000 What does that mean? 1.00

02:47:51.000 Did he explain why?

02:47:52.000 Who cares about the apology?

02:47:53.000 You want to know what's it referencing?

02:47:56.000 That's probably on drugs, man.

02:47:58.000 I think they had a conversation before they were on air. 0.99

02:48:02.000 Where the one guy was talking about fucking chickens and joking about it and the other guy just referred to it. 0.98

02:48:07.000 No, no, no. 0.99

02:48:07.000 Isn't a chicken a name for like a twink? 0.99

02:48:11.000 Isn't it a gay term like a chicken? 0.97

02:48:12.000 Now you're going deep. 0.99

02:48:13.000 No, Google search it.

02:48:15.000 Let's look it up.

02:48:15.000 I think it is.

02:48:16.000 Why would you look it up? 1.00

02:48:17.000 You can fuck chickens because they have a cloaca. 1.00

02:48:20.000 Where the egg comes out and the sex organs are all in the same hole. 1.00

02:48:25.000 Cocks do not have cocks. 1.00

02:48:27.000 That's a weird thing.

02:48:28.000 They don't?

02:48:28.000 They don't.

02:48:29.000 Yeah, they have the cloaca, which is this hole where they do what's called a cloacal kiss, where the male and the female will line up their cloacal holes and a little thing from the sperm shoot out of the male into the female. 0.97

02:48:44.000 Wow.

02:48:44.000 Hold on, guys.

02:48:45.000 I've been vindicated.

02:48:46.000 Can you pull that up, please?

02:48:48.000 Twink.

02:48:49.000 It says the term chicken are also preferred down here where I highlighted it.

02:48:52.000 They call them chickens.

02:48:53.000 Fox, plum, chick, or chicken are preferred.

02:48:55.000 Wow. 1.00

02:48:56.000 Look at that poor bastard. 0.99

02:48:57.000 Imagine if you were on Wikipedia and you looked under twink and they got a picture of you. 1.00

02:49:03.000 Boy, you are a fucking twink, man. 0.99

02:49:07.000 Who is that guy? 1.00

02:49:07.000 That's like an old statement. 1.00

02:49:09.000 That's funny.

02:49:10.000 You want to know the word twink?

02:49:11.000 Look up a picture of yourself in the dictionary.

02:49:15.000 It's a name there.

02:49:16.000 Brent was the best amateur twink performer.

02:49:20.000 Oh my god.

02:49:22.000 Well, so he's proud. 0.86

02:49:23.000 He's a proud twink.

02:49:24.000 Wow.

02:49:25.000 You gotta be careful, man.

02:49:26.000 We can only have twink around, ectomorphic build. 1.00

02:49:28.000 You can only have twink around for another couple years before someone gets unbelievably offended by it and calls you a piece of shit. 1.00

02:49:34.000 LBDQ. You can't say twink. 1.00

02:49:35.000 Okay, I've been living in Portland for like five days at this point, and I've already offended some lesbians. 1.00

02:49:42.000 Yeah, you're going to overdose on political correctness in that silly town. 0.99

02:49:45.000 It's so intense up there. 0.98

02:49:46.000 I was sitting in a camper the other night and this woman says, I remember what it was, and this woman says, well, that's living in the white man's world.

02:49:55.000 And I said, I'm not white, I'm Irish.

02:49:58.000 You're not white, you're Irish? 0.93

02:50:00.000 I'm Irish.

02:50:00.000 It's different.

02:50:02.000 Did she get offended?

02:50:03.000 Did she get offended at that?

02:50:04.000 No, no, but she was confused by it.

02:50:07.000 The late 19th, early 20th century in the United States and, of course, in England, the Irish were considered beneath Africans on the scale of evolved human beings.

02:50:20.000 That's interesting because they came last to this country?

02:50:23.000 Is that what it was?

02:50:24.000 No, just because they were, like, rougher, harder to deal with, you know, farted in public a lot, you know, things we all know and love about the Irish. 1.00

02:50:33.000 Is that a thing?

02:50:35.000 Farting in public?

02:50:36.000 No, I just made that up.

02:50:37.000 Sure, it's certainly a thing.

02:50:38.000 Happens everywhere.

02:50:39.000 No.

02:50:40.000 You don't think it happens everywhere?

02:50:42.000 Farting in public or just openly farting in public?

02:50:44.000 I've never heard it ascribed to Irish people. 0.73

02:50:46.000 Drunks.

02:50:47.000 No, I'm joking.

02:50:47.000 People drink.

02:50:48.000 George Carlin.

02:50:49.000 Yeah, beer.

02:50:50.000 Yeah.

02:50:51.000 If you're drinking beer, you're cutting farts.

02:50:52.000 George Carlin had that whole thing where he's like, you know, how come he talked about the Irish oppression and, you know, jobs for Irish and all that.

02:51:00.000 But he was like, and what the hell is with the fighting Irish? 0.99

02:51:03.000 Yeah.

02:51:03.000 Notre Dame, the Fighting Irish.

02:51:05.000 How is that not offensive? 0.99

02:51:06.000 If you had the lazy Mexicans take the field, or the chiseling Jews. 1.00

02:51:13.000 The chiseling Jews. 1.00

02:51:15.000 That's a great term, the chiseling Jews. 1.00

02:51:18.000 He's great.

02:51:19.000 Yeah, he was awesome.

02:51:20.000 He's the best.

02:51:21.000 That's funny.

02:51:22.000 All right, gentlemen.

02:51:23.000 I think we're at three hours.

02:51:24.000 Are we at three hours?

02:51:25.000 Yes! 0.99

02:51:26.000 These things fucking fly by. 1.00

02:51:28.000 They fly by. 0.99

02:51:29.000 They've been amongst the most popular podcasts that I do.

02:51:32.000 And I know you guys are saying the same thing.

02:51:34.000 This is pretty cool.

02:51:35.000 Yeah, the one we did together last time, I guess mine was the third, right?

02:51:40.000 Has twice as many...

02:51:46.000 We're good to go.

02:51:51.000 We're good to go.

02:52:06.000 I don't know if you guys saw, I created a page that archives them.

02:52:09.000 Okay, cool.

02:52:10.000 I'm happy to transfer it wherever we decide to do it, but for the moment, it's on chrisryanphd.com, and you'll see Tri-Podcast tab, and that's where the first three are archived.

02:52:20.000 It's just a link that leads back to your site and your site.

02:52:23.000 Cool.

02:52:23.000 We were talking before the podcast started about trying to figure out a name, but we're not even close.

02:52:27.000 Old Men in the Snow, though, is pretty badass because of your description of what it is.

02:52:31.000 Right.

02:52:31.000 But would people...

02:52:32.000 Is it funny without knowing the story?

02:52:34.000 No, you have to tell the story, though.

02:52:36.000 Just tell people the story, because I don't think you did while the podcast was going on.

02:52:39.000 It was before the podcast started.

02:52:40.000 Oh, we were talking about techniques that adolescent boys develop, the good ones anyway, for not coming.

02:52:49.000 And some people think of baseball stats or whatever.

02:52:53.000 Just something non-sexual to get your head away from what you're doing.

02:52:57.000 Which in itself is kind of a weird thing to be...

02:52:59.000 You're having the best experience of your life and you're trying not to notice.

02:53:03.000 Nature wants you to come instantly and just shoot a load into a chick and make a kid. 1.00

02:53:06.000 And you want to have a good time.

02:53:07.000 It's a strategy.

02:53:08.000 It's very zen.

02:53:09.000 Well, it goes back to Sex at Dawn. 0.98

02:53:11.000 It's, you know, a sperm competition. 0.99

02:53:13.000 Yes. 0.78

02:53:13.000 Nature's designed you to shoot your load, get out of the way so the next guy can. 0.78

02:53:17.000 Exactly. 0.99

02:53:17.000 And that's why, by the way, we're turned on by seeing gang bangs and dudes fucking. 0.99

02:53:21.000 Maybe you are. 1.00

02:53:23.000 Yeah.

02:53:24.000 Anyway, so my technique was to think about old people trudging through the snow.

02:53:29.000 Like World War II, you know, Crimean refugees trudging through that Russian winter, freezing.

02:53:36.000 Yeah, like that.

02:53:37.000 A babushka... 0.90

02:53:38.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:53:39.000 That makes me not want to come.

02:53:41.000 Yeah, think of what that guy's feet smell like.

02:53:42.000 Sorry, guys.

02:53:43.000 I can't come now. 1.00

02:53:44.000 Yeah, that guy's asshole. 1.00

02:53:45.000 Is that a guy? 1.00

02:53:46.000 Would you live the rest of your life if that guy's asshole was permanently an inch from your face? 1.00

02:53:50.000 Oh, it is a guy. 1.00

02:53:52.000 Yeah, what would you do for the rest of your life?

02:53:53.000 Well, you can live.

02:53:54.000 You can do everything you want.

02:53:55.000 You can go biking. 1.00

02:53:57.000 If you go to the movies, that guy's asshole will always be... 1.00

02:54:01.000 No, right here, to the right. 1.00

02:54:03.000 You can move it around, but it always has to stay sort of like the moon is in your orbit. 1.00

02:54:07.000 That guy's asshole, his raw asshole... 1.00

02:54:08.000 His asshole orbits your head right near your face. 1.00

02:54:10.000 You know what? 1.00

02:54:10.000 After a week or two, you wouldn't even notice it anymore. 1.00

02:54:13.000 You say that, I would kill myself. 1.00

02:54:14.000 I would kill myself. 1.00

02:54:15.000 I'd push that guy with me off a fucking cliff. 1.00

02:54:17.000 I'd enjoy my life. 1.00

02:54:19.000 Farting in your face all day.

02:54:20.000 Everything's perfect. 1.00

02:54:21.000 No asshole ever lands in the wrong place. 0.99

02:54:23.000 That's what the Buddhists say. 0.99

02:54:25.000 Hare Krishna.

02:54:26.000 Yeah, okay.

02:54:27.000 Both of you guys.

02:54:28.000 And thus, ladies and gentlemen, that very conversation highlights the differences between us.

02:54:34.000 Okay, follow everybody on Twitter, Duncan Trussell, D-U-N-C-A-N-T-R-U-S-S-E-L-L. And our friend Chris Ryan, ChrisRyanPhD.

02:54:44.000 On Twitter, Chris's podcast is Tangentially Speaking, and it's ChrisRyanPhD.com.

02:54:49.000 You can get everything on there.

02:54:51.000 And DuncanTrussell.com, Duncan Trussell's Family Hour, is his podcast.

02:54:55.000 Both are awesome.

02:54:56.000 And if you're tired of hearing me, listen to some of that.

02:54:59.000 Alright?

02:54:59.000 Get in there.

02:55:00.000 Bye!

02:55:00.000 We're also brought to you by Ting.

02:55:02.000 Go to rogan.ting.com. 0.98

02:55:03.000 Enjoy awesome cell phone service with none of the bullshit. 0.97

02:55:06.000 And get 25% off. 0.98

02:55:09.000 No, what do you get?

02:55:10.000 $25.

02:55:10.000 $25 off of your first Ting device when you sign up.

02:55:14.000 That's rogan.ting.com.

02:55:16.000 $25 off your first device.

02:55:18.000 We are also brought to you by stamps.com.

02:55:21.000 Go to stamps.com. 0.97

02:55:22.000 Click on the old schoolie microphone and enter in the code word JRE for a $110 bonus offer, which includes free postage, $55 worth of free postage, and a free digital scale, and a lot of good shit. 0.73

02:55:38.000 All right, and we're also brought to you by Onnit.

02:55:40.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word ROGAN and save 10% off any and all supplements.

02:55:47.000 Next week, we've got a lot of cool guests coming up, ladies and gentlemen.

02:55:50.000 We've got Dr. Carl Hart who's going to be on the podcast.

02:55:53.000 Matt Viterasera, former UFC welterweight champion of the world.

02:55:57.000 Amber Lyon. 0.99

02:55:58.000 We've got a lot of shit happening. 0.99

02:56:00.000 Thanks for tuning in. 0.98

02:56:01.000 Thanks for all the love.

02:56:03.000 Have a good time. 1.00

02:56:04.000 We'll see you in Dallas in a couple days, you fucking savages. 1.00

02:56:06.000 Bye! 1.00

The Joe Rogan Experience - March 11, 2014

Joe Rogan Experience #468 - Duncan Trussell, Christopher Ryan

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Summary

Transcript