The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #476 - Honey Honey

00:00:05.000 Good googly moogly, ladies and gentlemen. 0.76

00:00:08.000 Come on with your bad self.

00:00:10.000 What are you missing out of your life, folks?

00:00:12.000 What are you missing out of your life?

00:00:13.000 You're missing Lumosity.com. 1.00

00:00:15.000 Get your fucking brain in order. 1.00

00:00:16.000 Stop playing Angry Birds. 1.00

00:00:18.000 Or keep playing Angry Birds.

00:00:20.000 Essentially know that you're wasting your time, whereas you could be playing games that are actually good for your dome.

00:00:25.000 That's what Lumosity is.

00:00:26.000 Lumosity is problem-solving games that are scientifically designed and based on your needs.

00:00:34.000 If you go to lumosity.com, they give you a bunch of different options to fill out.

00:00:38.000 You click the Get Started Now button.

00:00:41.000 You enter in your information.

00:00:43.000 And then you start asking it, or it starts asking you, like, what specific things you want to work on?

00:00:50.000 Do you want to work on memory?

00:00:51.000 Do you want to work on, you know, all sorts of different...

00:00:55.000 It's trying to get me to sign in here.

00:00:57.000 I don't know why it's trying to do that.

00:00:59.000 Lumosity.com forward slash show.

00:01:04.000 Why is it doing something weird here that it didn't do before?

00:01:09.000 Anyway, scientifically designed to challenge your brain and do it like a game.

00:01:15.000 So it makes it fun.

00:01:17.000 I enjoy playing the games. 0.98

00:01:18.000 It only takes a few minutes a day, and over time you can actually track your progress online and compare yourself to others if you're one of those motherfuckers that has to compare yourself to others. 0.92

00:01:27.000 There was this one guy, I remember this documentary about one of the smartest men in the world, and he worked as a bouncer in a bar in Long Island. 0.97

00:01:34.000 And I'm like, uh, no you're not.

00:01:37.000 Okay?

00:01:38.000 You're not because you work as a bouncer in a bar and like on. 1.00

00:01:41.000 You're just not the fucking smartest guy in the world. 0.99

00:01:43.000 And he was this guy who was rambling on and on. 1.00

00:01:45.000 He was super verbose and using a lot of big words and going on about, you know, he's the first guy ever that's come the closest to ultimate meaning.

00:01:53.000 Do you remember that guy?

00:01:54.000 No. 1.00

00:01:54.000 Big fat-faced dummy. 1.00

00:01:55.000 I thought he was very, very convinced. 0.99

00:01:59.000 Why?

00:01:59.000 Because he got a good number on a Mensa test.

00:02:02.000 So he's good at figuring out how to count up numbers.

00:02:06.000 Socially, he's a mess. 0.84

00:02:08.000 Unable to see how goofy he sounds saying he's the smartest man in the world. 0.99

00:02:11.000 No self-deprecating skills.

00:02:13.000 Thinks he's a badass because he's a bouncer at a bar in Long Island.

00:02:16.000 And think it's some sort of a Runyon-esque character.

00:02:20.000 Just a rebel.

00:02:22.000 He's a bouncer, but he's the smartest man in the world.

00:02:25.000 No, you're not. 1.00

00:02:26.000 If you were smartest man in the world, you would realize being a bouncer at a fucking bar in Long Island sucks a fat dick. 1.00

00:02:31.000 And you'd get a better job. 1.00

00:02:33.000 Dummy! 1.00

00:02:33.000 That job's dumb. 1.00

00:02:35.000 I guess I'm going to quit my job as a bouncer now. 0.99

00:02:37.000 I was a security guard at one point in time.

00:02:39.000 I'm not above.

00:02:40.000 I'm not above, don't get me wrong, but you can't claim smartest guy in the world and that's where you found yourself, at 40. So shut your hole. 0.99

00:02:46.000 And go to Lumosity. 0.99

00:02:47.000 Go to lumosity.com slash joe.

00:02:50.000 That's lumosity.com slash joe.

00:02:52.000 Click the start training button and then start playing your very first game.

00:02:56.000 Lumosity.com slash joe.

00:02:58.000 It's very interesting.

00:03:00.000 It's a fun way to do things that... 0.95

00:03:03.000 You know, ordinarily it would feel just like games, but these games actually are scientifically designed through something called neuroplasticity, which I'm too stupid to understand.

00:03:13.000 You can even play them from your iPhone, iPad, with a free Lumosity app. 0.69

00:03:17.000 So lumosity.com forward slash Joe.

00:03:21.000 Go check it out.

00:03:23.000 Freaks!

00:03:24.000 We're also brought to you by Onnit.com.

00:03:26.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. Ana is a human optimization website, and what we sell is everything that we find that benefits you, whether it's physically, whether through strength and conditioning equipment, or exercise DVDs, or whether it's nutritionally,

00:03:41.000 through things like the new Warrior Bar that we just started selling, which is made out of organic buffalo meat and cranberries.

00:03:49.000 It's fantastic. 0.98

00:03:49.000 Fucking delicious. 0.98

00:03:50.000 14 grams of protein, no antibiotics, no added hormones, gluten-free, no nitrates. 0.99

00:03:59.000 It's a fucking yummy thing that you can eat and you don't have to feel bad about eating it because it's actually good for you. 0.93

00:04:06.000 140 calories, 4 grams of fat per 2-ounce serving and 14 grams of protein from lean meat. 0.99

00:04:13.000 It's the bomb diggity, sons and daughters. 0.97

00:04:18.000 Other than that, we sell just the best shit that we can find, whether it's hemp protein powder or whether it's this earth-grown nutrient supplement that we've just recently started packing, which is fantastic. 0.98

00:04:29.000 It's filled with all sorts of really healthy things for your body. 0.98

00:04:33.000 Antioxidants, green blends full of micronutrients, things like spirulina and alfalfa.

00:04:41.000 If you go to the website and read out of any of the products that we sell, there's a detailed explanation of what the ingredients are, why we chose them, what they do, what the science on them is.

00:04:52.000 Every supplement we have has reference scientific papers that are We've written about the individual ingredients and, of course, AlphaBrain by itself, which is a combination of already proven ingredients that we put together to try to form some sort of a synergistic effect, and we had positive results through a double-blind placebo trial,

00:05:10.000 the results of which are available on Onnit.com, and there's also a new, much larger study that's going on, ongoing.

00:05:18.000 100% money back guarantee on all supplements as well.

00:05:20.000 You have a 90-pill, 30-day, or a 30-pill, 90-day, rather.

00:05:25.000 30-pill, 90-day, 100% money back guarantee.

00:05:28.000 You don't even have to return the product. 0.58

00:05:30.000 Just say it sucks, and you get your money back.

00:05:32.000 No one's trying to rip you off. 1.00

00:05:33.000 We're just trying to sell you awesome shit. 0.97

00:05:34.000 Go to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word ROGAN and save 10% off any and all supplements. 1.00

00:05:41.000 Get on it, you dirty freaks. 0.99

00:05:43.000 Honey, honey is here. 1.00

00:05:44.000 Why fuck around? 1.00

00:05:47.000 Young Brian, cue the music. 1.00

00:05:53.000 What, you dirty freaks? 0.99

00:05:58.000 Listen, we had an issue. 0.99

00:06:00.000 We had a little sound issue.

00:06:01.000 We wanted to make sure that everything was clean and smooth since you guys are here.

00:06:06.000 Sound is a very important part of what you do.

00:06:09.000 I don't have to tell you this.

00:06:11.000 It is a key to your lifestyle. 1.00

00:06:13.000 So, hey, what's up, fuckers? 1.00

00:06:15.000 What are you doing? 1.00

00:06:16.000 You know, we're chilling.

00:06:17.000 We're so excited to be in California.

00:06:19.000 Yeah, what happened?

00:06:20.000 Nashville lost its charm?

00:06:21.000 Well, it was snowing when we left, let's put it that way.

00:06:25.000 Was it really?

00:06:25.000 Yeah, it was snowing, and it's really interesting because the whole city really shuts down.

00:06:30.000 Like, schools close, and I'm talking like a mild dusting.

00:06:35.000 They just don't know what to do with it?

00:06:36.000 Well, it's like rain out here.

00:06:38.000 If it rains here, people freak out.

00:06:39.000 Well, worse though, right?

00:06:41.000 The freakout, you mean?

00:06:42.000 Yeah, Joey, was it Tom Segura Joey was with?

00:06:45.000 I forget who he was with in Oregon.

00:06:47.000 They were up in Oregon doing shows, and a freak snowstorm blanketed the city, and then it got icy rain below it.

00:06:55.000 So it was snow on top of icy rain.

00:06:57.000 It was just the whole city just shut down.

00:06:59.000 I mean, if they don't have the, you know, the salt trucks and all that stuff, and if people don't know how to drive it, they really shouldn't, you know?

00:07:07.000 But it's really interesting.

00:07:08.000 I mean, they closed school for like three days, and, you know, the roads were really fine.

00:07:13.000 Right.

00:07:14.000 It was just, it was amazing.

00:07:15.000 What do you guys think about Nashville?

00:07:17.000 Has the charm worn off?

00:07:19.000 Are you bored with it already?

00:07:20.000 Man, when we were just talking, we came back the other night.

00:07:23.000 We got into L.A. yesterday.

00:07:25.000 I walked into this bar, and all these people that I knew were there, and all these friends, and it just felt good, man.

00:07:31.000 And there's friends.

00:07:32.000 Nashville's interesting because when you first get there, it's such an open community, and people welcome you in, and everyone's sweet, and you have friends, and all of a sudden, you go out to a bar and you know people.

00:07:41.000 But there's a difference when you see people you've been with for eight years, ten years.

00:07:45.000 It just feels good.

00:07:46.000 Right, right.

00:07:47.000 So coming back, I don't know. 0.86

00:07:48.000 It's so goddamn beautiful. 0.89

00:07:49.000 I got kind of wistful. 0.81

00:07:50.000 Do you guys...

00:07:51.000 Do you miss, like, the largeness of the city?

00:07:54.000 Or is it the people, the attitude?

00:07:57.000 Like, did you feel different?

00:07:58.000 Like, a different vibe?

00:08:00.000 I've never lived in Nashville.

00:08:01.000 Yeah.

00:08:01.000 But did you get, like, a different vibe from the people?

00:08:04.000 Yeah.

00:08:04.000 I mean, the...

00:08:05.000 Well, first of all, I mean, you can drive around the whole city in, like, 15 minutes.

00:08:09.000 I mean, it's just...

00:08:10.000 You're...

00:08:12.000 The days feel longer because you're not stuck in your car trying to get here to there like you do in LA. Everything is really accessible, which is great because as far as our productivity and working on the record, which is kind of why we went there, to write and have all this space.

00:08:30.000 Still not done.

00:08:31.000 We didn't do it there.

00:08:32.000 We keep coming back here to work on it.

00:08:34.000 Yeah, it's true.

00:08:36.000 So it's really interesting.

00:08:37.000 There's a number of reasons why.

00:08:40.000 It's a much more affordable town and all that stuff.

00:08:42.000 But when I come to California now, I really feel like this intense energy.

00:08:48.000 You're vibrating.

00:08:49.000 It's so exciting.

00:08:50.000 You kind of feel like it's like this shock of you're just awake and there's all this stuff happening. 0.99

00:08:58.000 There's so many fucking people. 0.99

00:09:00.000 Right. 1.00

00:09:01.000 And Nashville's great.

00:09:02.000 It's just like really chill.

00:09:05.000 Is that good?

00:09:07.000 Sometimes.

00:09:08.000 But when you have it for a long time, you kind of get a little stir crazy.

00:09:12.000 It just doesn't have the diversity.

00:09:13.000 Look at my crazy eyes.

00:09:15.000 What can I do next?

00:09:16.000 The diversity?

00:09:18.000 Here it's a completely different...

00:09:19.000 Game in terms of that.

00:09:21.000 There's this really interesting smush going on of, like, Bible Belt, conservatism, and freaky people.

00:09:27.000 You know, there's kind of the freaky people area, but that's spreading.

00:09:30.000 Freaky people are spreading.

00:09:31.000 We're weirdos.

00:09:32.000 Weirdos always win.

00:09:33.000 We always win. 0.98

00:09:34.000 It's more fun to be a weirdo. 1.00

00:09:35.000 That Bible Belt shit, once you catch a few of them fucking kids, you know, and doing weird shit, they were supposed to be all highfalutin. 1.00

00:09:43.000 Yeah, it's kind of game over there. 1.00

00:09:44.000 Yeah, it's game over.

00:09:45.000 They start losing credibility.

00:09:46.000 Mm-hmm. 0.99

00:09:47.000 I definitely feel a little more self-aware in Nashville as far as my fucking potty mouth and my just being Loud and obnoxious. 0.99

00:09:57.000 Because there's a lot more... 0.99

00:09:58.000 I feel like there's a lot...

00:10:00.000 No, I am.

00:10:00.000 I'm pretty obnoxious.

00:10:01.000 I mean, we all spend much time together.

00:10:04.000 You picked it up.

00:10:05.000 But I think people are a little more reserved there.

00:10:08.000 Of course, yeah.

00:10:09.000 I generally really enjoy playing there.

00:10:13.000 I think it's one of my favorite places to play.

00:10:14.000 I love the people there.

00:10:15.000 I love the small town thing about it, too.

00:10:17.000 I just think people are super friendly there.

00:10:19.000 But I wonder if I would go crazy if I lived there.

00:10:22.000 The Bible Bell thing would probably drive me crazy.

00:10:24.000 But you can avoid it.

00:10:25.000 Yeah.

00:10:25.000 And honestly, it seems fairly segregated.

00:10:28.000 It's like you just don't walk down that street.

00:10:30.000 That's hilarious.

00:10:31.000 Yeah, it's pretty amazing.

00:10:31.000 That street, people believe in dinosaurs.

00:10:33.000 This street, not so much.

00:10:35.000 Oh, really?

00:10:36.000 Somebody tweeted me something with some woman, you know, that was talking about that dinosaurs must have probably drowned, and she wasn't trolling.

00:10:43.000 That Noah didn't have room for them on the ark, so they probably all drowned. 0.66

00:10:47.000 No!

00:10:47.000 They would have eaten him.

00:10:48.000 It was on her Facebook page and someone sent me a tweet, can you believe this silly bitch? 1.00

00:10:52.000 And it was to her Facebook page because it was so ridiculous that random people that didn't even know her were going to her Facebook page and be like, bitch, are you fucking crazy? 1.00

00:11:00.000 Dinosaurs drowned? 1.00

00:11:02.000 It's fucking Russell Crowe's fault. 1.00

00:11:03.000 He decided to do this goddamn Noah movie and the whole thing gets stirred up again. 1.00

00:11:07.000 Russell Crowe? 0.99

00:11:07.000 I haven't seen anything about that. 0.99

00:11:08.000 He's Noah! 1.00

00:11:11.000 It's Darren Aronofsky, who's apparently a bad motherfucker. 0.99

00:11:20.000 He's done a lot of pretty badass movies, right? 0.98

00:11:22.000 What else has he done?

00:11:24.000 Oh, God.

00:11:25.000 Did he do Gladiator?

00:11:27.000 I don't think so.

00:11:27.000 You know what?

00:11:28.000 I don't want to out myself as Darren...

00:11:30.000 I don't know who that is.

00:11:31.000 Have you seen the ads for Noah?

00:11:33.000 Nope.

00:11:34.000 It looks intense. 1.00

00:11:35.000 Damn. 0.99

00:11:36.000 It looks exciting. 0.99

00:11:37.000 I would love to give him a French braid.

00:11:39.000 Would you really?

00:11:39.000 Sure.

00:11:40.000 Like Rocket Jamaica style?

00:11:41.000 Look, he's checking.

00:11:42.000 What's going on?

00:11:43.000 He's like the Denzel.

00:11:45.000 Of white people? 0.79

00:11:46.000 Yeah.

00:11:47.000 No.

00:11:47.000 He kind of does his.

00:11:48.000 What did he say?

00:11:49.000 Denzel never got fat.

00:11:52.000 It's fat right now.

00:11:54.000 That's muscle.

00:11:55.000 He just looks warmer.

00:11:56.000 Man corrupted this world.

00:11:58.000 Whoa.

00:11:58.000 Filled it with violence.

00:12:00.000 That guy's no cardio. 0.75

00:12:01.000 He must be disabled. 1.00

00:12:08.000 I love movies like this.

00:12:10.000 I freak out.

00:12:11.000 You love this movie?

00:12:12.000 Yeah, it's kind of fun.

00:12:13.000 I like movies like this.

00:12:14.000 Like, you know, I don't want to, you know, fantasy kind of.

00:12:17.000 Like, Lord of the Rings.

00:12:18.000 I'm so gay for Lord of the Rings. 0.66

00:12:19.000 Oh my god.

00:12:20.000 Yeah, I really enjoy Lord of the Rings too.

00:12:22.000 I love fantasy movies.

00:12:23.000 They're fun.

00:12:24.000 I had high hopes for the new Conan movie.

00:12:27.000 Didn't really work out.

00:12:28.000 When did that come out?

00:12:29.000 It was terrible.

00:12:29.000 I missed that one.

00:12:30.000 Piece of shit. 1.00

00:12:30.000 But it was good, like, halfway into it. 1.00

00:12:32.000 I was like, it's still pretty good.

00:12:33.000 And then, ah!

00:12:35.000 The new Conan is the guy from Game of Thrones who played the barbarian dude that was banging Khaleesi.

00:12:42.000 Love that guy.

00:12:43.000 Mm-hmm.

00:12:44.000 Bet you do.

00:12:45.000 Bet your eggs love him, too.

00:12:47.000 Yeah.

00:12:49.000 I met that dude.

00:12:50.000 He's a very nice guy, too. 1.00

00:12:51.000 Big, giant, handsome bastard. 0.99

00:12:53.000 And he was the perfect Conan. 1.00

00:12:55.000 Isn't he married to Lenny Kravitz's daughter or something?

00:12:57.000 Could be.

00:12:58.000 I don't know.

00:12:59.000 Yeah, the guy's pimping.

00:13:00.000 That'll work.

00:13:01.000 That'll last.

00:13:03.000 Sorry.

00:13:04.000 Way to be optimistic.

00:13:06.000 No, the guy, he's awesome.

00:13:07.000 I mean, he's just too handsome to be running around there.

00:13:10.000 Yeah.

00:13:11.000 Married to anybody.

00:13:12.000 That's a problem.

00:13:12.000 But the movie was, like, it held promise.

00:13:16.000 You know, it looked like it was going to be good, but like all these fucking movies, it eventually falls apart, unfortunately. 0.98

00:13:22.000 But I gave it a shot. 0.99

00:13:23.000 I don't even remember that coming out.

00:13:24.000 Did it get good reviews?

00:13:25.000 Nope. 1.00

00:13:26.000 Dog shit reviews. 1.00

00:13:27.000 It just wasn't that good. 1.00

00:13:28.000 But he's the perfect Conan. 0.99

00:13:30.000 If they had a good writer, like if you got James Cameron involved and he put together some Avatar-type Conan movie, it would be the shit. 0.98

00:13:37.000 Because the guy's the perfect Conan. 0.99

00:13:38.000 The guy can act his ass off.

00:13:40.000 He's good. 1.00

00:13:41.000 He really would have been Conan, but they gave him a dogshit movie. 0.99

00:13:45.000 That's a bummer. 0.98

00:13:46.000 It is.

00:13:46.000 Yeah.

00:13:47.000 And you can't turn that role.

00:13:48.000 It's a huge role.

00:13:49.000 You can't turn it down and then everything else falls through.

00:13:52.000 Poor guy.

00:13:52.000 Well, nobody remembers anyway.

00:13:53.000 You guys didn't remember.

00:13:54.000 Nobody remembers.

00:13:55.000 Yeah, I had no idea.

00:13:55.000 I think making movies must be hard.

00:13:57.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:13:58.000 That's the sense I get. 1.00

00:13:58.000 It's impossible. 1.00

00:13:59.000 It's so easy.

00:14:00.000 So yeah, you do it at home.

00:14:02.000 There's so many people involved.

00:14:04.000 There's too many people. 0.99

00:14:05.000 The beautiful thing about what you guys do is, you fucking talk amongst yourselves. 1.00

00:14:10.000 You say you want more of this, and he says he wants more of that, and together you find some sort of a happy medium and you create your shit. 0.99

00:14:16.000 Could you imagine if you had a bunch of money people? 0.98

00:14:19.000 Well, I'm not saying it's easy at all.

00:14:21.000 It's less intervention than...

00:14:24.000 Making a movie, man, you've got hundreds of people that have their say.

00:14:28.000 You have so many people that you have to...

00:14:31.000 Well, it depends on what kind of movie you're making.

00:14:33.000 If you're making an independent movie, you have your independent opinion.

00:14:36.000 You guys still have to deal with actors. 0.99

00:14:39.000 Some actor wants to do a fucking monologue in the middle of the scene. 0.99

00:14:41.000 You're like, bro, that's not the part. 1.00

00:14:43.000 The part is not...

00:14:43.000 He doesn't do a monologue, man.

00:14:45.000 I'll do it if I can do a monologue.

00:14:47.000 Well, it's a different movie, then.

00:14:48.000 Ad-libbing. 0.98

00:14:48.000 The guy's deaf. 0.98

00:14:49.000 He can't talk.

00:14:50.000 Well, I just feel like...

00:14:51.000 He could be like the end.

00:14:52.000 Psych!

00:14:53.000 Here's what I had to say.

00:14:55.000 It's always about making choices.

00:14:56.000 It's just a choice.

00:14:57.000 It's just, when you deal with a lot of people, it's very difficult to have a creative vision that goes through.

00:15:03.000 Do you guys have any, like, does your manager ever say, look, you need more jokes or more songs about this or more songs about that?

00:15:10.000 We've had stuff like that before.

00:15:12.000 Is it gross?

00:15:13.000 Yeah, well, I mean, at the end of the day, it's like if you...

00:15:16.000 Have we really?

00:15:17.000 Well, yeah.

00:15:19.000 You know, back in the day...

00:15:20.000 I think we're too difficult to work with like that.

00:15:22.000 We don't have a manager right now.

00:15:24.000 Maybe that's what happened.

00:15:25.000 I met your manager.

00:15:26.000 Did I meet your agent or your manager?

00:15:28.000 He was our manager, then he became an agent.

00:15:31.000 Yeah, and that was an amicable thing, but just, I don't know, kind of like the tides of time.

00:15:35.000 Yeah, like, I don't like you.

00:15:36.000 You don't like me.

00:15:36.000 Let's get out of here.

00:15:37.000 That's like amicable divorces.

00:15:39.000 There was love.

00:15:40.000 When people say amicable divorces, like, well, it's amicable.

00:15:43.000 No, it's not amicable.

00:15:44.000 You got so sick of each other that you went to court, okay?

00:15:47.000 Don't tell me it's amicable. 0.99

00:15:48.000 You might like each other still as human beings, but that shit ain't amicable. 0.96

00:15:52.000 You don't live together anymore. 1.00

00:15:53.000 You don't fuck. 1.00

00:15:54.000 You guys got divorced, son. 1.00

00:15:58.000 I heard a new term for that today, though.

00:16:00.000 What?

00:16:00.000 Because I was reading about the Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.

00:16:02.000 It just came up.

00:16:03.000 I wasn't looking for it.

00:16:03.000 Oh, no.

00:16:03.000 Are they splitting up?

00:16:04.000 It's an unconscious...

00:16:05.000 Wait, wait, wait.

00:16:06.000 Conscious unpartnering.

00:16:08.000 Conscious unpartnering.

00:16:10.000 Gwyneth Paltrow splitting up with her man?

00:16:12.000 Dispartnering.

00:16:12.000 So sad.

00:16:13.000 Look, I'm a fucking romantic. 0.99

00:16:16.000 Hey, I bet you are. 1.00

00:16:17.000 Let love live.

00:16:18.000 I believe it.

00:16:19.000 Hey, Melissa, there's nothing wrong with love.

00:16:21.000 But I'm also really bad at relationships.

00:16:22.000 How long do you want to live with Gwyneth Paltrow for, though?

00:16:25.000 Or that guy from Coldplay. 1.00

00:16:26.000 I'm sure he's a fucking whiny vagina, too. 1.00

00:16:29.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:16:30.000 Christ.

00:16:30.000 I mean, anybody who writes and sings those songs, beautiful songs, as they may be, why are you not like...

00:16:36.000 A lot of tears.

00:16:37.000 A lot of single tears. 0.99

00:16:38.000 How come your songs aren't about celebrating the fact that you're a fucking rock star? 0.99

00:16:43.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:16:43.000 How come your songs aren't celebrating the fact that... 0.99

00:16:45.000 Maybe that's what we should do, Ben, and then it'll actually come to fruition.

00:16:48.000 It truly is.

00:16:52.000 Woo-hoo! 1.00

00:16:54.000 It's a celebration.

00:16:56.000 You're unbelievable.

00:16:57.000 Cool and the Gang knew how to do it.

00:16:59.000 Yeah, Stevie Wonder knew how to do it. 1.00

00:17:00.000 But most people, I bet most of the bands that you listen to write depressing shit a lot of the time. 0.98

00:17:06.000 Is that easier? 0.98

00:17:07.000 It's just easy to access that stuff or easier.

00:17:10.000 Is it easier also to not be like sort of a superficial dummy who's singing about happiness?

00:17:17.000 Like if you sing about moodiness, like you're automatically deep and meaningful.

00:17:21.000 Yeah, bro.

00:17:22.000 I can remember that movie 21 Grams.

00:17:24.000 You remember that movie?

00:17:25.000 God, I just saw that recently.

00:17:26.000 It's so sad.

00:17:27.000 It's so sad.

00:17:28.000 And I made a decision after I saw that movie.

00:17:30.000 I said, never again will I go see a movie that's trying to make me sad. 1.00

00:17:34.000 I don't buy the idea that it's deep because it makes you feel like shit. 0.99

00:17:40.000 I don't buy it. 0.99

00:17:41.000 I know what you're doing.

00:17:42.000 This is a game here. 0.98

00:17:44.000 Everything falls apart, everything goes to shit, and at the end you feel all this loss, and then I leave. 0.99

00:17:49.000 I know what you did. 1.00

00:17:50.000 You guys fucked me. 1.00

00:17:51.000 You pretended that you were doing something deep. 1.00

00:17:53.000 You're just doing something depressing. 0.99

00:17:55.000 Depressing and deep are not the same goddamn thing. 0.97

00:17:58.000 What are your thoughts on... 0.98

00:17:59.000 I recently saw that movie...

00:18:01.000 Was it The Lone Ranger?

00:18:03.000 Wait, no, not The Lone Ranger. 1.00

00:18:07.000 Johnny Depp is not a fucking Indian, okay? 1.00

00:18:10.000 Not the Lone Ranger. 1.00

00:18:12.000 The one with Mark Wahlberg.

00:18:14.000 Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

00:18:15.000 The Lone Soldier?

00:18:16.000 Lone Survivor?

00:18:17.000 Lone Survivor.

00:18:18.000 God, Samsonite.

00:18:20.000 But that was based off of a true story and actually has some relevance as far as the reality that we live in right now.

00:18:27.000 Yes, definitely.

00:18:28.000 But that is a little bit different. 0.98

00:18:31.000 That's not necessarily like, hey, I'm making this movie to fuck you up. 0.99

00:18:35.000 But it really fucked me up. 0.99

00:18:37.000 I had to go drive around for like 20 minutes after I left the movie theater.

00:18:40.000 And it was, I mean, did you see it?

00:18:43.000 I watched part of it.

00:18:45.000 Those movies kind of bum me out.

00:18:47.000 Yeah.

00:18:47.000 Marcus Luttrell is a guy I've met at the UFC a few times.

00:18:50.000 Okay.

00:18:51.000 The guy who's the story is based on.

00:18:53.000 He's actually in the movie.

00:18:54.000 He had a part.

00:18:55.000 He did.

00:18:56.000 Yeah.

00:18:56.000 But he, you know, his real story.

00:18:59.000 You've met him?

00:19:00.000 Yeah.

00:19:00.000 Wow.

00:19:00.000 I have a real hard time watching dramatizations with Marky Mark.

00:19:05.000 And someone else playing these guys.

00:19:07.000 I know it was awesome, and I'm not putting him down.

00:19:09.000 I love Mark Wahlberg.

00:19:10.000 I'm a huge fan.

00:19:11.000 I thought he was great in that movie with The Rock. 0.99

00:19:13.000 He's fucking great. 0.99

00:19:14.000 Kid's a great actor. 0.99

00:19:15.000 It's not that.

00:19:16.000 It's just I know he's Marky Mark.

00:19:18.000 He'll always be Dirk Diggler, though.

00:19:19.000 Yeah, whoever he is.

00:19:21.000 He's Mark Wahlberg.

00:19:22.000 I know he's Mark Wahlberg, and I know who the guy is.

00:19:24.000 I know that guy, Marcus Luttrell, is a real person.

00:19:27.000 So when I'm watching a recreation...

00:19:29.000 It's weird, but I can't separate myself from the art.

00:19:32.000 I enjoy them much more in works of fiction than I do in recreations.

00:19:36.000 I never enjoy recreations, because I'm always like, that didn't fucking happen like that. 0.99

00:19:40.000 That's probably bullshit. 0.98

00:19:41.000 So you weren't pumped about Titanic, is what you're saying? 0.99

00:19:43.000 Well, Titanic is different, because it had Leonardo and Kate...

00:19:48.000 And the chemistry there just went right to the tinker.

00:19:50.000 I knew it, you softy.

00:19:51.000 He was like a tramp and a young man with passion and poetry in his heart.

00:19:57.000 No, it's just, I think, I don't like recreations, you know? 0.97

00:20:00.000 I just, I know there's too much fuckery involved in the creation of those things. 0.84

00:20:05.000 So are you more of a kind of like a frozen guy? 0.95

00:20:07.000 I love Frozen.

00:20:08.000 See?

00:20:09.000 I saw it twice.

00:20:10.000 Here we go.

00:20:10.000 I love this.

00:20:10.000 I have a five-year-old and a three-year-old.

00:20:12.000 They love it.

00:20:13.000 You come over to my house at any point in time and you hear, Let it go!

00:20:16.000 Let it go!

00:20:17.000 Can't hold me back anymore!

00:20:19.000 They'll start singing at the drop of hat.

00:20:21.000 They jump up on the couch and start singing.

00:20:23.000 That's amazing.

00:20:23.000 Hey, little girls love princesses, man.

00:20:25.000 There's nothing you can do about that.

00:20:26.000 There's this rapper that has the second best song, but he's like, man, I could have had the number one song if it wasn't because of the Frozen soundtrack.

00:20:33.000 Can you imagine that? 0.98

00:20:35.000 Frozen's a good fucking movie, man, for little kids. 0.99

00:20:38.000 It's not a good movie for adults, but as an adult, you can enjoy it. 0.99

00:20:42.000 I find that there's a lot of these movies that they're made for little kids, but they do a really good job, and you can actually sit and enjoy the movie with your kids.

00:20:51.000 I saw Mr. Peabody's movie.

00:20:53.000 The Lego movie is a perfect example. 1.00

00:20:55.000 It's a good fucking movie. 0.99

00:20:56.000 You didn't see that by yourself, did you not? 1.00

00:20:57.000 Easy there.

00:20:58.000 Yeah, I did.

00:20:59.000 It was a good movie.

00:21:00.000 And it brought me up.

00:21:00.000 I felt like I was walking out with a whole bunch of friends.

00:21:06.000 I saw Mr. Peabody in the Wayback Machine this weekend, whatever the fuck it's called. 0.98

00:21:11.000 It's really good. 0.98

00:21:11.000 First of all, the animation is fucking amazing. 0.98

00:21:14.000 Oh, the dog. 0.99

00:21:15.000 The dog that made a time machine.

00:21:16.000 That looks dope. 0.99

00:21:16.000 It's fucking badass. 0.99

00:21:17.000 It's fun. 0.98

00:21:18.000 I didn't see it. 0.99

00:21:19.000 Damn it. 0.99

00:21:19.000 It's interesting. 0.99

00:21:20.000 It's fun.

00:21:22.000 And it's also just what they can do with animation now when they're operating the time machine. 0.99

00:21:28.000 You're like, God damn. 1.00

00:21:29.000 They make shit look beautiful. 1.00

00:21:31.000 Make Scooby-Doo look like Dog shit! 1.00

00:21:34.000 You know, you stop and look at the kind of... 1.00

00:21:36.000 Like, this is Mr. Peabody.

00:21:38.000 Really?

00:21:38.000 This was good?

00:21:39.000 Yeah.

00:21:39.000 No, you gotta see the Time Machine series when he actually uses the Time Machine.

00:21:45.000 You gotta find...

00:21:45.000 Look for it and find a video when they operate the Time Machine.

00:21:49.000 You see the graphics involved.

00:21:50.000 It's like, oh my god.

00:21:51.000 These kids today, they're so spoiled with beauty.

00:21:55.000 It's true.

00:21:56.000 I liked Up.

00:21:57.000 I was a big fan of Up when that came out. 0.99

00:21:59.000 But that's depressing as fuck. 0.99

00:22:00.000 That guy's essentially suicidal. 0.99

00:22:02.000 No, I think it's good to have a little darkness for kids.

00:22:05.000 You have to get a little introduction into reality.

00:22:07.000 You're one of those broads. 1.00

00:22:07.000 I am. 1.00

00:22:08.000 I am.

00:22:08.000 Because, I'll be honest with you, I'm not going to get into details, but I had a real solid shattering of my idealism in my adulthood that was really intense.

00:22:18.000 And...

00:22:19.000 It's interesting when you sort of...

00:22:21.000 I mean...

00:22:23.000 I could have prepared you for that.

00:22:24.000 Well, yeah. 1.00

00:22:25.000 Fuck, yeah. 1.00

00:22:25.000 No, I'm kind of fucking around, but I'm not fucking around. 1.00

00:22:27.000 No, but I'm serious. 0.98

00:22:28.000 As far as, like, you know, the princess reality for little kids, you know, if you sort of had this, like, fairy tale.

00:22:35.000 Right.

00:22:36.000 It's just...

00:22:36.000 And not in an aggressive way.

00:22:39.000 So, my ex-boyfriend wrote this book that is actually...

00:22:42.000 It's a children's book.

00:22:43.000 It's called Kate's First Mate.

00:22:45.000 And it's about relationships, but it's written as a children's book.

00:22:48.000 And it's actually really amazing.

00:22:50.000 And he...

00:22:50.000 Sells it like hotcakes and all these like kind of little hipster stores in California and it's published and it's a really interesting look at, you know, choosing a partner for, you know, when you're a kid and just sort of rather than like Prince German comes in on a...

00:23:07.000 White horse.

00:23:08.000 You know, it just sort of has this really great way to kind of just give a small introduction to kids about, you know, reality.

00:23:16.000 And sometimes it doesn't work out and you go through the storm and then you come out, you know, captaining the ship with your partner.

00:23:22.000 You know what's interesting, man?

00:23:24.000 Man?

00:23:25.000 You know, man.

00:23:25.000 Yeah, bro.

00:23:26.000 People?

00:23:27.000 Friends?

00:23:27.000 Babe.

00:23:28.000 What's interesting, friends, is how much they're trying to take, when they take old stories and they pull all the teeth out of them.

00:23:37.000 Like, it's really kind of fascinating.

00:23:39.000 Like, the Big Bad Wolf or any of these stories, like, there's this trend.

00:23:46.000 What is this?

00:23:47.000 There's a lot of people that think Disney's Frozen. 0.98

00:23:49.000 It's teaching kids to be gay. 0.99

00:23:51.000 Disney's gay propaganda. 0.98

00:23:54.000 Excellent. 0.97

00:23:57.000 What's gay about Frozen? 0.91

00:23:58.000 They said that the main character with the other girl... 0.65

00:24:02.000 I never saw it, so I don't know.

00:24:03.000 The main character?

00:24:05.000 The sister?

00:24:06.000 That they're gay? 0.97

00:24:06.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:24:07.000 Oh my god.

00:24:08.000 Just don't even click on that. 1.00

00:24:09.000 That's just morons. 1.00

00:24:10.000 And about bestiality too because of the animals we're friends and it's teaching kids about bestiality. 1.00

00:24:15.000 What about your pet?

00:24:16.000 You should bring that person on the podcast.

00:24:18.000 I'd like to see that one.

00:24:19.000 Not even.

00:24:20.000 I didn't know where the podcast is. 1.00

00:24:22.000 Fuck all these fucking dummies. 1.00

00:24:25.000 God damn it. 1.00

00:24:26.000 I don't remember what we were talking about. 0.99

00:24:28.000 How they took the old stories.

00:24:30.000 Yeah, they take all these stories, like The Big Bad Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood, and they kind of dress it down.

00:24:39.000 They take away all the violence and scariness out of it, and you get a version of it.

00:24:43.000 Wait, are you talking about for kids?

00:24:43.000 For kids.

00:24:44.000 Oh, okay.

00:24:44.000 Like Rapunzel.

00:24:45.000 Here's a perfect example. 1.00

00:24:47.000 Yeah, that shit was scary. 1.00

00:24:48.000 The real ones were really scary. 1.00

00:24:49.000 That witch, she took Rapunzel, cut her hair off, and pretended that the guy was climbing her hair, and then pushed him off, and he got blinded. 0.99

00:24:58.000 That's the original story. 0.99

00:24:59.000 He fell into a briar bush, and his eyes got fucking gouged out. 0.98

00:25:03.000 That's the original story. 0.98

00:25:04.000 If you read the original one, you're like, whoa!

00:25:06.000 All that Brothers Grimm stuff.

00:25:08.000 Hansel and Gretel, you know, like sticking out a dead chicken bone, they think it's their finger.

00:25:12.000 Yeah.

00:25:14.000 Yeah, and the wolf ate Little Red Riding Hood, and the grandmother.

00:25:18.000 She died in the original one?

00:25:20.000 In the original one, she was eaten by the wolf, and then somehow or another the hunter cut her out of the wolf or something like that.

00:25:27.000 You know what?

00:25:27.000 I do remember that.

00:25:28.000 Yeah, the grandma and her, they're both okay.

00:25:31.000 Cut them out.

00:25:32.000 Yeah, let's bring it back to real town, you know?

00:25:35.000 This is what's really happening.

00:25:36.000 Well, it's just weird how they try to slowly but surely over time take the teeth out of a lot of those things.

00:25:43.000 It's like if you go back and watch cartoons from when I was a kid, they were all about violence.

00:25:49.000 Cartoons were all about anvils falling on people's heads and explosions spinning a duck's beak around a circle.

00:25:55.000 Yeah, but then you have some really terrible things that...

00:25:59.000 There's never one thing, one reason to blame for when there's like a school shooting or something like that.

00:26:04.000 But then that is the basis of changing the whole, you know, viewing demographic and, you know, watering it down so it's not as violent.

00:26:12.000 Like, you know, I don't really have an opinion on it.

00:26:16.000 But that's where it comes from.

00:26:18.000 I don't know if there's a direct correlation between viewing violence and enacting violence.

00:26:22.000 I'm really not sure if there is, nor am I sure if it's ever been proven.

00:26:26.000 Because you see more violence now than ever, and I would say that it's probably the least violent time we've ever existed on Earth. 0.91

00:26:33.000 But I know that kids have done shit they saw in commercials, or in cartoons, rather. 0.95

00:26:37.000 My cousin Mikey hit his brother over the head with a frying pan because he thought it was going to turn into one of their shapes. 0.99

00:26:42.000 I've heard that!

00:26:42.000 I've heard other people do that!

00:26:43.000 The head boners fucking cracked him over the head because he thought it was going to turn into the shape of a frying pan. 1.00

00:26:49.000 He fucking walked up to his little brother with a bong! 1.00

00:26:52.000 And you hear screaming and the dad beat the shit out of him. 1.00

00:26:56.000 It was craziness. 0.99

00:26:57.000 Oh, man.

00:26:58.000 Yeah, it was dark.

00:26:59.000 It was dark.

00:26:59.000 How did he come out?

00:27:00.000 Is he okay? 1.00

00:27:00.000 He's fucked up. 1.00

00:27:01.000 That kid's always been fucked up. 1.00

00:27:02.000 I avoided him ever since I was like seven. 0.99

00:27:04.000 Right when I got out of Catholic school, I avoided my cousin, too.

00:27:09.000 I don't know.

00:27:10.000 It might not even have been my cousin, Mikey.

00:27:12.000 Mikey may have actually been his neighbor, now that I think about it.

00:27:15.000 Either way, not good to hit kids in the head with a frying pan.

00:27:18.000 And he learned it from a television show.

00:27:20.000 Something to avoid.

00:27:20.000 Some cartoon.

00:27:21.000 You bong! 1.00

00:27:21.000 And your head is like... 1.00

00:27:23.000 You gotta do that thing.

00:27:25.000 It shakes it back. 0.99

00:27:27.000 Nobody ever dies, but everybody gets blown to fucking smithereens. 1.00

00:27:31.000 I mean, all the shit that happened to Wally Coyote. 1.00

00:27:33.000 And, you know, at the end, he would pop his head up and fucking dust would fall off of him. 1.00

00:27:38.000 He's fine. 1.00

00:27:39.000 That fucker. 1.00

00:27:41.000 But it was all violence. 1.00

00:27:43.000 There's none of that today.

00:27:44.000 You will never see a kid's show today that has violence in it.

00:27:48.000 They just don't have it.

00:27:49.000 Everything's cutesy pie.

00:27:50.000 I don't know.

00:27:50.000 Kung Fu Panda was pretty hardcore.

00:27:52.000 We're raising pussies. 0.98

00:27:54.000 No one shot the panda. 1.00

00:27:56.000 Pandas should have been hit with a fucking missile. 0.99

00:27:58.000 Yeah, there was a lot of guns in old folklore and rifles. 1.00

00:28:01.000 Were there?

00:28:01.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:28:02.000 Cannonballs? 0.83

00:28:02.000 A little bit. 0.83

00:28:03.000 But no one got hurt, right?

00:28:04.000 No, there was no serious injury.

00:28:06.000 Humans were hurt, though.

00:28:07.000 That's important.

00:28:07.000 Humans were hurt?

00:28:09.000 Feelings.

00:28:09.000 Oh, feelings are more valuable sometimes.

00:28:12.000 But at the same time, you have this whole world of really fucked up abstract cartoons and shit, right, that is available to kids. 0.97

00:28:19.000 It's not presented to them, really. 0.98

00:28:20.000 But if you Google some weird stuff...

00:28:23.000 You can find anything you want.

00:28:24.000 You can be a five-year-old now. 1.00

00:28:26.000 If you're a five-year-old that's Googling, your parents are doing a shitty fucking job. 1.00

00:28:30.000 Maybe so. 1.00

00:28:31.000 You don't leave five-year-olds in front of a fucking computer, ever. 0.99

00:28:34.000 Yeah, I don't have kids. 1.00

00:28:34.000 I can't. 1.00

00:28:35.000 I have no kids.

00:28:35.000 No, it's a lot older than each.

00:28:37.000 I was a nanny back in the day.

00:28:38.000 You were saying something.

00:28:39.000 No, no.

00:28:40.000 That was it.

00:28:40.000 I just figured this was me assuming or guessing that you can get into some weird stuff, too.

00:28:45.000 You could if you had no oversight.

00:28:48.000 Yeah.

00:28:48.000 But you should have oversight when you're five.

00:28:50.000 It's like we were talking about...

00:28:52.000 When I did a magic show on Fisherman's Wharf when I was eight, why did I do that?

00:28:56.000 Because nobody was watching me. 0.93

00:28:57.000 It's ridiculous. 0.54

00:28:59.000 Anybody tells you I was raised correctly, I point to that and go, do you think an eight-year-old should be able to just walk down the street and not tell anybody where he's going? 0.99

00:29:08.000 That's ridiculous. 0.95

00:29:09.000 That's not a good move. 0.98

00:29:12.000 That's pretty profound, though, that you were, like, did you take the train or something?

00:29:16.000 You walked.

00:29:17.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:29:18.000 Was it nighttime? 1.00

00:29:19.000 Yeah, no, it was during the day.

00:29:20.000 I lived pretty close to Fisherman's Wharf, and I noticed that people were doing these one-person shows on Fisherman's Wharf.

00:29:26.000 They had, like, a little box out, and people would throw money in it.

00:29:28.000 So I did a magic show.

00:29:29.000 Wow.

00:29:30.000 That's amazing.

00:29:31.000 And it's almost good that no one stopped you, right? 1.00

00:29:34.000 You didn't have oversight and you figured your shit out. 1.00

00:29:35.000 Maybe something horrible could have befallen you. 1.00

00:29:37.000 I almost got raped by some dude. 1.00

00:29:39.000 Did you? 1.00

00:29:40.000 But you didn't.

00:29:40.000 Yeah, I got lucky.

00:29:41.000 The librarian saw the guy and yelled.

00:29:44.000 I was ready to go out to this guy's car.

00:29:46.000 Are you serious?

00:29:47.000 Yeah.

00:29:47.000 No way.

00:29:47.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:29:48.000 Oh my god.

00:29:49.000 I was the same age.

00:29:50.000 I was really into monsters, like monster books and stuff like that.

00:29:54.000 So I was at the library in the monster section, pulling out these books.

00:29:57.000 And this guy came up to me and told me that he had monster books in his car.

00:30:01.000 And I didn't know any better.

00:30:02.000 I was only eight years old.

00:30:04.000 So I was like, okay, you got monster books?

00:30:06.000 I thought it was just a guy with monster books.

00:30:07.000 You're like, I'll sit in your lap for some monster books.

00:30:09.000 And as I was walking towards the car...

00:30:12.000 As I was walking towards the car, the librarian started screaming, you know, you get away from him.

00:30:17.000 That guy just got out of prison.

00:30:20.000 Really?

00:30:20.000 Jesus Christ.

00:30:21.000 Yeah, apparently he was like a known pedo, and they would have to watch him when he would go to the library because he'd go scouting around for kids.

00:30:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:30:28.000 That's some scary shit. 1.00

00:30:29.000 I had some weird stuff when I was a kid. 0.99

00:30:32.000 There was this older boy who was in the neighborhood and I was a little tomboy.

00:30:39.000 I'd always be playing in the backyard, I don't know, chopping trees, whatever.

00:30:44.000 We grew up on an acre.

00:30:46.000 Yeah.

00:30:46.000 And I had this really interesting moment where I was in the backyard and I was obsessed with fishing.

00:30:52.000 I loved to fish.

00:30:53.000 I still do.

00:30:55.000 And I always talk about it.

00:30:57.000 You know, I was really weird.

00:30:57.000 Didn't have a lot of friends.

00:30:59.000 And this older boy was like maybe 14 and I was 9 or 10. Comes out of the wood line.

00:31:06.000 He's like, hey, Suzanne, there's a largemouth bass in the creek.

00:31:09.000 You've got to come see it right now.

00:31:11.000 You've got to come see it.

00:31:12.000 And I remember it like being like, Okay, let me get my shoes.

00:31:15.000 Okay, I've got to go to the house.

00:31:16.000 I think my parents are out.

00:31:18.000 My sisters and I would always...

00:31:19.000 When we were kids, everybody would be running around playing baseball.

00:31:23.000 There was a pack of kids.

00:31:25.000 My sisters were home, but I didn't know where they were.

00:31:28.000 I ran upstairs to get my shoes.

00:31:30.000 Then all of a sudden, I had this moment of...

00:31:32.000 I was totally terrified.

00:31:36.000 All of a sudden, I felt like...

00:31:38.000 Really weird.

00:31:39.000 And I went upstairs in my bedroom, which overlooked the backyard, and I watched him and I didn't leave.

00:31:44.000 I got really scared.

00:31:46.000 And I watched him and I watched him kind of wait around for a while and leave.

00:31:51.000 And like later, this kid was like...

00:31:54.000 Years later, he was blowing up squirrels in his treehouse.

00:31:58.000 He was hurting the neighborhood animals and got into some serious trouble.

00:32:02.000 He was a violent kid.

00:32:04.000 And now as an adult, there's no way there was a large amount of bats in the creek.

00:32:08.000 It was like this tiny little creek.

00:32:09.000 And I really do, when I think about it, I feel like I avoided a really weird situation. 0.98

00:32:14.000 Who fucking knows? 0.98

00:32:15.000 Who fucking knows? 1.00

00:32:16.000 I mean, you might have been the first one that he killed. 0.99

00:32:18.000 The circumstances were right.

00:32:20.000 I don't know.

00:32:21.000 You never know.

00:32:22.000 It's so funny.

00:32:24.000 I don't remember everything, but I will never forget that feeling.

00:32:27.000 I was just terrified.

00:32:28.000 I didn't want to go back.

00:32:30.000 And you never know.

00:32:31.000 Certain circumstances, people are really close to doing something fucked up and never do it until a circumstance arises. 0.79

00:32:37.000 That might have been the circumstance that pushed the guy over the edge. 0.93

00:32:40.000 Well, the person that blows up animals in their treehouse has some serious issues, if you ask me.

00:32:45.000 Well, anybody who tortures animals, that's one of the first things they look for. 1.00

00:32:49.000 When you find out that your son has been nailing a squirrel to a board and sticks up its ass and stuff like that, that kid's a monster. 1.00

00:32:58.000 You've got a bunch of bad connections, and you should take the little fucker fishing. 1.00

00:33:03.000 Take them out in the middle of the ocean. 1.00

00:33:08.000 Sorry, it didn't work out.

00:33:11.000 Well, see you later.

00:33:13.000 Sorry, pal.

00:33:14.000 I raised a monster. 0.94

00:33:15.000 Take it out to the ocean.

00:33:18.000 Still love fishing, though.

00:33:20.000 Fishing's great.

00:33:21.000 We rented a pontoon boat in Tennessee.

00:33:24.000 That was really fun.

00:33:25.000 We went out with a bunch of friends.

00:33:27.000 Didn't catch a fish, but man, drank a whole bunch of beer.

00:33:30.000 Got a suntan, if you can believe that.

00:33:33.000 White is goat cheese.

00:33:34.000 It's very rare.

00:33:35.000 So are you guys going to move back?

00:33:37.000 What are you going to do?

00:33:38.000 We've got to make some money first.

00:33:41.000 We've got to finish this record.

00:33:42.000 Can we live in your basement?

00:33:43.000 My basement is an isolation tank.

00:33:47.000 Hey, did we talk about that?

00:33:48.000 Thank you for putting us in that tank.

00:33:49.000 Oh, did you get in it?

00:33:50.000 Yeah, we met Crash.

00:33:52.000 How was the experience?

00:33:54.000 No, we didn't talk about it.

00:33:55.000 How was it?

00:33:55.000 It was awesome.

00:33:58.000 I kind of freaked out at one point.

00:34:00.000 Did you?

00:34:00.000 Yeah, because I started to get really...

00:34:03.000 I was like, oh my god, what if Crash forgot to open the air thing?

00:34:10.000 And I started to like...

00:34:11.000 Then I was like, I can't breathe.

00:34:12.000 I can't breathe.

00:34:12.000 And I was trying to find the door, and then I got the water in my eye, and I was like, ah!

00:34:16.000 Oh my god, you panicked.

00:34:18.000 Disaster.

00:34:19.000 Oh yeah, I lost it.

00:34:20.000 You panicked.

00:34:21.000 How dare you?

00:34:21.000 Super cute.

00:34:21.000 It was a real cute, precious moment I had naked in that tank.

00:34:26.000 Wow.

00:34:28.000 That's hilarious.

00:34:30.000 Yeah, next time, relax.

00:34:31.000 I know.

00:34:31.000 Well, you know, story not.

00:34:33.000 You'll be fine.

00:34:33.000 It's hard.

00:34:33.000 That's a new experience.

00:34:35.000 Yeah.

00:34:35.000 That is not something I'm accustomed to.

00:34:38.000 That's the thing about it.

00:34:39.000 It's not one of those things you get used to the first time.

00:34:41.000 You get better at it.

00:34:43.000 My body's so used to it that I get in there and my body goes, oh, we're in the tank.

00:34:47.000 And then I just let go immediately.

00:34:49.000 But when I first started doing it, I'd be like, I had all this busy work.

00:34:53.000 I'd want to itch something.

00:34:54.000 It's like meditation.

00:34:55.000 Yeah.

00:34:56.000 Yeah.

00:34:56.000 But now you can just settle in.

00:34:59.000 But you can come up with some great ideas in there, too.

00:35:01.000 It's like you never get a chance to be alone with yourself like you do in that tank. 1.00

00:35:05.000 If you really want to be a moody, depressing fuck and write some shit that's going to make people cry, that's the spot. 1.00

00:35:12.000 That's the spot. 1.00

00:35:14.000 Or figure things out.

00:35:16.000 I just think there's no better place for me to figure things out.

00:35:20.000 Like anytime I have real problems in my life, anytime there's any disputes or anytime I'm doing something I don't want to be doing, I get in that tank and it sort of provides me with the resources to come up with the right answers.

00:35:33.000 Because other than that tank, you don't get alone time like that.

00:35:36.000 You never get alone time from your body.

00:35:38.000 Do you meditate?

00:35:38.000 Or that's where you meditate?

00:35:39.000 No, I don't ever meditate outside the tank.

00:35:41.000 Except, I guess, a little bit doing yoga.

00:35:44.000 I guess a little bit of that's meditation, but it's yoga.

00:35:46.000 It's the whole thing.

00:35:48.000 The tank is just the mind. 0.98

00:35:50.000 But I don't fuck around with regular meditation. 0.99

00:35:53.000 To me, it's like running when you have a car. 0.99

00:35:56.000 Like, I want to get to Vegas.

00:35:58.000 Probably better drive.

00:35:59.000 It'd take a lot longer to walk.

00:36:01.000 Why would you walk to Vegas?

00:36:03.000 Ohm.

00:36:04.000 This is what ohming is.

00:36:06.000 It's walking to Vegas.

00:36:07.000 Ohm.

00:36:08.000 I don't know.

00:36:09.000 I'm into it.

00:36:11.000 I'm not going to lie.

00:36:12.000 I'm already calming down just listening to you do that. 1.00

00:36:16.000 If you get a tank in the basement and ohm in the tank, it's some next level shit. 0.99

00:36:23.000 I owe them in the tank. 0.99

00:36:24.000 I owe them in the tank.

00:36:26.000 I do these breathing exercises in the tank where I breathe in for one minute and then I breathe out for one minute. 1.00

00:36:32.000 Holy shit! 0.99

00:36:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:36:33.000 One slow minute breathing in and one slow minute breathing out. 1.00

00:36:38.000 Breathing out is really hard.

00:36:38.000 So when was it that you discovered that you in fact actually were Jason Bourne?

00:36:43.000 You know, the first Jason Bourne movies I enjoyed, but the new one with that fucking guy, Jeremy Renner, there's too much fake karate going on. 0.99

00:36:53.000 There's too much shit that the body can't do. 0.99

00:36:55.000 I'm not buying it. 1.00

00:36:56.000 Why can't you let us live in our fantasy world? 0.99

00:36:58.000 The guy's living in the fucking frozen north in his underwear. 0.99

00:37:00.000 They come and get him. 1.00

00:37:01.000 They activate him.

00:37:02.000 Nothing's wrong with that.

00:37:03.000 The guy's going to get hypothermia. 1.00

00:37:04.000 He's a fucking human. 1.00

00:37:06.000 Jumping off of buildings, landing on people's heads, no ankle tweaks. 1.00

00:37:09.000 Movies aren't real?

00:37:11.000 Nothing.

00:37:11.000 I'm not buying it.

00:37:13.000 And here's the big one.

00:37:14.000 Doesn't have sex with anybody. 0.93

00:37:15.000 I know. 0.96

00:37:16.000 That is a bummer.

00:37:16.000 That's a super bummer.

00:37:17.000 It's ridiculous. 0.87

00:37:18.000 Spies don't do that. 0.99

00:37:19.000 Spies are boning everywhere.

00:37:20.000 Well, it's what we're doing here. 0.99

00:37:21.000 The pussification of the American male is almost complete. 1.00

00:37:26.000 Our superheroes don't even get pussy. 1.00

00:37:28.000 James Bond fucked everyone, okay? 1.00

00:37:30.000 He was from England, goddammit, and he fucked everyone. 1.00

00:37:33.000 He fucked everyone. 1.00

00:37:34.000 He drank. 1.00

00:37:35.000 We even know how he takes his fucking martinis. 1.00

00:37:38.000 Shaken, never stirred. 1.00

00:37:40.000 We know how he likes his drugs. 1.00

00:37:43.000 That's fucking the murderer's drug distribution. 1.00

00:37:46.000 He got mad pussy, fucked him. 1.00

00:37:48.000 He had so much pussy, he had a movie called Octopussy. 1.00

00:37:52.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:52.000 I mean, Jesus fucking Christ. 1.00

00:37:54.000 No, he's a winner. 1.00

00:37:55.000 Meanwhile, Jeremy Renner saves the girl who's hotter than the surface of the fucking sun. 0.99

00:38:00.000 He's hanging out with her all movie long. 0.99

00:38:03.000 Obviously, she's enthralled with him.

00:38:04.000 And the end of the movie is so symbolic of the neutering of the American male that even these super badass murdering superstars sit on the boat together and they're sitting across from each other.

00:38:19.000 Why do you think that is?

00:38:20.000 Why do you think they didn't give us some action?

00:38:22.000 Did you see the movie?

00:38:23.000 I want to know how they got out of that.

00:38:25.000 There was a very intense, intimate look into each other's eyes.

00:38:30.000 Barely! 0.98

00:38:31.000 Like, once the credits roll, we're going to bone.

00:38:33.000 No, no, no.

00:38:34.000 I didn't see that.

00:38:35.000 Why couldn't you bone before the credits rolled?

00:38:37.000 I didn't see that at all.

00:38:39.000 I didn't see what you're seeing.

00:38:41.000 Oh, yeah.

00:38:41.000 I didn't see any boning going on ever in their future.

00:38:43.000 No, no, no.

00:38:43.000 It was unspoken, Joe.

00:38:44.000 I think his dick's broken. 1.00

00:38:46.000 I think in order to be able to flip like that... 1.00

00:38:48.000 No way. 1.00

00:38:48.000 I think Jeremy Renner's dick is working fine. 1.00

00:38:49.000 In real life, I'm sure it works great. 0.99

00:38:51.000 But that Jeremy Renner in the movie, the Jason Bourne guy...

00:38:55.000 It wasn't Jason Bourne.

00:38:57.000 He was the new guy.

00:38:57.000 He was the...

00:38:58.000 I don't know what I'm talking about.

00:38:59.000 He was the after-born. 0.94

00:39:00.000 He was the...

00:39:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:39:01.000 Whatever his fucking name was. 1.00

00:39:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:39:03.000 Born with a broken dick. 1.00

00:39:05.000 The guy's kicking everybody's ass, and this girl clearly wants to throw down. 1.00

00:39:10.000 She's like staring at him, like, oh my god, you're the best, you saved my life over and over again. 1.00

00:39:13.000 And you're single, and I'm single, like, what are we fucking around for? 0.81

00:39:16.000 And he's just standing there, staring at her. 1.00

00:39:19.000 Like, I am your robot, I will kill for you, but I cannot fuck. 1.00

00:39:23.000 He didn't have any romantic attachment to her. 1.00

00:39:25.000 There's no kissing.

00:39:26.000 There's no hugging.

00:39:27.000 I don't think we can blame that on the next Jason Bourne guy, whatever his name is, because it's not his fault.

00:39:34.000 No, he's symptomatic of a problem we have in society.

00:39:39.000 The sexuality of the American male is a dangerous thing. 0.99

00:39:42.000 The neutering of the American male is a lot of people's goals. 0.70

00:39:48.000 Ultimately, as we move away from our primate warring lifestyle into this transcendental...

00:40:11.000 When Bush comes to shove.

00:40:18.000 When Bush comes to shove.

00:40:20.000 I think it's all the same thing.

00:40:21.000 I think we're moving away from animal instincts.

00:40:24.000 And so even in our superheroes, we want no animal instincts. 1.00

00:40:27.000 He's just a killing martial arts robot who doesn't want to fuck. 1.00

00:40:30.000 At the end of it, he sits down there and there's no threat whatsoever that he only saved all those people because he wants to fuck her. 0.99

00:40:36.000 But don't you think that's because the people that wrote the movie wanted to widen their audience instead? 0.98

00:40:41.000 Well, that's one way of looking at it, but why would that be appealing?

00:40:45.000 Why would that be appealing?

00:40:46.000 Definitely.

00:40:46.000 More people watch porn than almost anything on the internet.

00:40:49.000 It's some insane amount of bandwidth allocated to porn.

00:40:53.000 I thought porn wasn't real.

00:40:55.000 That's only Brian's dad. 0.80

00:40:59.000 Sorry, Gary.

00:41:00.000 Sorry, Gary.

00:41:02.000 Go all together.

00:41:03.000 One, two, three.

00:41:04.000 Sorry, Gary.

00:41:08.000 You're taking it out of context like you always do, Brian. 1.00

00:41:12.000 I'm tired of your bullshit. 0.99

00:41:14.000 Just because you're on the internet doesn't mean you have to get back at me for everything that ever happened. 1.00

00:41:18.000 Oh, man.

00:41:19.000 Yeah.

00:41:19.000 I don't know.

00:41:20.000 I don't know what it is, but I think there is a move, without a doubt, to moving away from animal instincts.

00:41:26.000 So I think it's inevitable.

00:41:27.000 But I think there's a female empowerment thing going on, and that's an animal instinct, right? 1.00

00:41:30.000 What female empowerment do you think? 1.00

00:41:32.000 Well, I'm actually, and I'm just going to go with it, but I... Was stumbling across some pornography.

00:41:37.000 And for the first time...

00:41:39.000 How was that?

00:41:40.000 Well, I was brushing my teeth and I stepped on a sock and went flying forward and my head hit a certain key on the laptop. 0.83

00:41:48.000 It was for YouTube, not your porn!

00:41:51.000 I'm just going to barrel through this because I thought it was interesting.

00:41:54.000 It was purely sociological.

00:41:57.000 So there's like this...

00:41:58.000 Now I'm picturing you beating off.

00:42:00.000 I bet he beats off like this.

00:42:04.000 I don't even think about it.

00:42:07.000 Is there crying involved?

00:42:10.000 Sometimes they don't give me what I need.

00:42:12.000 As he comes, he goes, Yummy!

00:42:14.000 Now I realize the path that I'm going down.

00:42:17.000 I feel like I should wheel around and go, No, no, no.

00:42:19.000 Neutrally American Male by Joe Rogan.

00:42:21.000 Well, this was the first...

00:42:22.000 It was like a casting couch scenario, right?

00:42:25.000 Where they usually have the casting couch.

00:42:27.000 This isn't just in porn.

00:42:28.000 This is just in general.

00:42:29.000 Right.

00:42:29.000 Those are Greg Fitzsimmons' favorites.

00:42:31.000 Yeah.

00:42:31.000 You bring in a chick and you kind of debase her and, you know, make her...

00:42:36.000 Do whatever you want her to do.

00:42:38.000 But this flipped it around completely and had this chick completely dominating a whole group of guys. 1.00

00:42:43.000 There's a whole series of them.

00:42:44.000 I've never seen that before. 0.99

00:42:46.000 That's rare as fuck, dude. 0.99

00:42:47.000 You're talking about trends. 0.99

00:42:48.000 It's coming around, though.

00:42:48.000 It's coming around.

00:42:49.000 And Suzanne had this on her phone?

00:42:51.000 Is it bookmarked? 0.98

00:42:53.000 Damn, Ben, how'd you get my passcode? 0.99

00:42:55.000 Bookmarked. 0.99

00:42:55.000 Double bookmarked. 0.99

00:42:56.000 Put in the cloud.

00:42:57.000 Save the cloud.

00:42:58.000 Yes and yes.

00:42:59.000 Email.

00:42:59.000 Ask to be involved.

00:43:03.000 I don't know.

00:43:04.000 I mean, for women, yeah, most certainly.

00:43:06.000 But it's also like, think about the fantasies that exist for men, the really unrealistic fantasies of, you know, you order a pizza and the pizza girl comes over and she's wearing a bikini and next thing you know, she's blowing you and your friend, you know, and you're both banging her.

00:43:19.000 Is that realistic?

00:43:20.000 Is that coming around?

00:43:21.000 No, and it doesn't represent real life.

00:43:22.000 It represents what people want.

00:43:23.000 She just came over to take a shower. 1.00

00:43:25.000 But I mean, if you wanted like porn for women, porn for women I don't think would even be that. 0.92

00:43:30.000 I think porn for women would probably be far more romantic, you know?

00:43:35.000 Also, I think there's a difference between the visual aspect, like what men find appealing, what women find appealing. 0.65

00:43:41.000 It's like women are into like books, like Fifty Shades of Grey type pornography. 1.00

00:43:47.000 I don't know about that.

00:43:48.000 But some women are into less visual representations of sexuality. 0.74

00:43:52.000 They don't watch it as much, you know?

00:43:55.000 I mean, women don't watch it as much as men do, historically.

00:43:58.000 You never know how much stigma is involved with that.

00:44:00.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:44:01.000 This website is fucking gross and weird, so women stay away from it. 1.00

00:44:05.000 Not necessarily they don't want to. 0.99

00:44:06.000 But I don't know about that, because women watch what they want when they're alone. 1.00

00:44:09.000 You're alone.

00:44:10.000 It makes a difference if it's actually, like, real.

00:44:13.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:44:13.000 Like, if it's not...

00:44:16.000 If a woman's actually coming, that's the best one, if you ask me, as far as staged porn. 1.00

00:44:22.000 Right.

00:44:22.000 Because if it's just for the dude...

00:44:26.000 Right, there's a lot of that, too, right?

00:44:28.000 It plays out for the dude.

00:44:28.000 You can kind of sniff that out.

00:44:30.000 I'm not trying to give myself up here.

00:44:31.000 Sniff it out.

00:44:33.000 You're a pointer.

00:44:36.000 She's coming.

00:44:38.000 That's exactly how it is.

00:44:40.000 He really did eat her out.

00:44:42.000 She likes him.

00:44:46.000 Yeah, I see. 0.95

00:44:48.000 I think a lot of women are into porn. 1.00

00:44:50.000 Don't get me wrong.

00:44:50.000 I'm not delusional.

00:44:52.000 But I think that there's a lot more women are into literature pornography than men are into literature pornography. 0.81

00:45:01.000 Like, almost no men are into literature pornography.

00:45:04.000 It's very rare.

00:45:05.000 That's so funny.

00:45:05.000 I'm reading this book called 1Q84, a Murakami book, and it's really interesting.

00:45:12.000 1Q84? Yeah.

00:45:13.000 What is it about?

00:45:13.000 Yeah.

00:45:14.000 It's, um, God, it's hard to explain.

00:45:18.000 It's fiction, and it's kind of a spin.

00:45:23.000 There's a lot of 1984, kind of, like, the author is, you know, truly a Orwell fan, and there's just kind of a lot of nuances as far as, like, this kind of, I don't want to say apocalyptic,

00:45:38.000 but, um, God, the...

00:45:42.000 It's about a lot of confusing things, but technically it's a romance.

00:45:45.000 But there's all this sort of, there's kind of like two worlds colliding.

00:45:51.000 There's sort of like, there's two moons in the sky, and there's kind of this really interesting concept.

00:45:56.000 But there's a lot of graphic sexual content.

00:46:00.000 Yeah.

00:46:00.000 And Ben and I were sitting on a plane.

00:46:03.000 He was like, Jesus, every time I look over, there's a boner going on, there's a taut nipple. 0.76

00:46:10.000 This is an 800-page book, and every single time I glance over, I see something. 0.78

00:46:15.000 It's really funny, because it's a really great story. 0.95

00:46:20.000 And I'll be honest with you, I'm not one that's like, yeah, I need a fucking dirty novel to, you know, whatever. 0.96

00:46:26.000 Butter my scone. 0.95

00:46:28.000 But I definitely... 0.98

00:46:30.000 Fucking interesting choice of analogies. 0.95

00:46:34.000 But I definitely... 0.98

00:46:35.000 We've been traveling a lot.

00:46:36.000 We've had a few flights for shows recently.

00:46:38.000 Why scone?

00:46:39.000 Look at it, you know.

00:46:40.000 Come on.

00:46:41.000 I'm looking at it.

00:46:42.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:46:43.000 So when I'm reading it in public and I'm sitting on an airplane, I feel like I pull the book closer to myself because I'm just like, oh my God, what if...

00:46:51.000 It's just, you know, it's such a...

00:46:53.000 Well, it's interesting that books can have sexuality, like raw sexuality mixed in with a story, but they can't have that in a movie. 0.97

00:46:59.000 Like, a movie can never have people, like, graphically fucking. 0.96

00:47:03.000 What about that movie you just saw? 0.99

00:47:04.000 I just saw a movie of people graphically fucking. 0.99

00:47:06.000 It was called Blue is the Warmest Color. 0.99

00:47:08.000 There's a French, you know what I'm...

00:47:09.000 Oh, it's French?

00:47:10.000 Yes.

00:47:10.000 Oh, William?

00:47:12.000 Remember Brown Bunny?

00:47:14.000 Do you remember that?

00:47:14.000 Yeah.

00:47:15.000 That guy is like blackballed because of that movie.

00:47:17.000 Is he really?

00:47:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:47:18.000 What is his fucking name? 1.00

00:47:20.000 Vincent Gallo. 1.00

00:47:20.000 Vincent Gallo? 1.00

00:47:21.000 Yeah.

00:47:22.000 I literally saw these people reviewing that movie informally.

00:47:29.000 They were talking about it. 1.00

00:47:30.000 And they were like, he's a piece of shit. 1.00

00:47:31.000 He'll never work again. 1.00

00:47:32.000 Really?

00:47:32.000 Wow.

00:47:33.000 And all because he made that Chloe Sven... 1.00

00:47:35.000 Were they just having Dick Envy? 1.00

00:47:37.000 She just sucked his dick on screen and he came all over her on screen. 1.00

00:47:41.000 You actually see him orgasm in the movie. 1.00

00:47:43.000 But the movie is, before that, a real movie. 0.92

00:47:46.000 It's like, this is just a sex scene in a movie where you actually get to see the sex.

00:47:51.000 And they decided to just go for it.

00:47:53.000 So they decided to make a movie and have...

00:47:55.000 Why is it okay to have a sex scene where you don't see sex?

00:47:59.000 But when you have a sex scene where you see sex, they were angry at him because he made them watch that.

00:48:05.000 I was listening to this man and these two women talk about it, and their specific point was that they were angry that he made them watch that.

00:48:14.000 He made them watch that scene.

00:48:15.000 They already knew that that was going to...

00:48:16.000 I mean, if they...

00:48:17.000 If they were watching the movie, everybody had to know that that was happening.

00:48:21.000 I think they were one of the first people to see it, and I think everybody that went in to see that movie knew there was a controversial thing like that had gotten out, but I don't think they realized. 0.99

00:48:31.000 You're going to watch Vincent Gallo literally put his dick in a girl's mouth, and it was a long scene. 0.97

00:48:37.000 It wasn't like for a brief American Werewolf in London, you see the wolf, and then it cuts to black. 0.99

00:48:42.000 No, this is like, it wasn't just you saw his dick and you saw her mouth and then cut, you know, that might have been...

00:48:48.000 So I guess, do you think that, I mean, I didn't see the movie, so I don't really have the point of reference. 0.97

00:48:52.000 I didn't either, but I watched the one scene.

00:48:53.000 But I mean, do you think that that was like, hey, I want to do this just to do this, or do you think it was really a form of artistic expression?

00:49:00.000 I personally think it was a form of artistic expression that he also wanted to do.

00:49:05.000 I think it's both.

00:49:06.000 And I think that's part of what people got angry about with the idea. 0.82

00:49:11.000 When I see a guy act really well, I'm looking at dick-wagging already. 0.53

00:49:17.000 I mean, that's what you're doing in your expression. 0.89

00:49:22.000 In your expression of the powerful, the anger of your acting.

00:49:27.000 I'm looking at your tears.

00:49:29.000 You're screaming at someone.

00:49:30.000 I'm also aware that you're aware that you're awesome.

00:49:34.000 At doing that. 0.99

00:49:35.000 And in me being aware that you're aware that you're awesome in doing that, there's a certain amount of inherent dick-wagging.

00:49:41.000 It's one of the reasons why people have, like, an almost automatic distaste for some famous men, or some powerful men, or men that are in the public spotlight. 0.97

00:49:50.000 It's because they know they have to be at least somewhat enamored of themselves, which is a form of dick-wagging. 1.00

00:49:55.000 So when you're doing that dick-wagging, and then you're also sticking your dick in Chloe's vagina-zizzi's mouth... 1.00

00:50:03.000 I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ, man. 1.00

00:50:05.000 You're double dickwagon. 1.00

00:50:07.000 That's what you're doing. 1.00

00:50:07.000 You're dickwagon because you're up there on the big screen and you're dickwagon because you're standing there in these ridiculous fucking tailored weird clothes because you want to be interesting with your fucking handmade shoes. 1.00

00:50:19.000 I just want to hit you. 1.00

00:50:22.000 But you didn't see the movie. 0.99

00:50:23.000 I saw the scene.

00:50:24.000 I don't really want to hit him.

00:50:26.000 I'd probably get along with that dude.

00:50:27.000 I'd probably like him.

00:50:28.000 You should bring him on the podcast. 0.68

00:50:30.000 He's probably a freak.

00:50:30.000 You should totally bring him on the podcast.

00:50:32.000 That's really interesting.

00:50:33.000 Well, he wasn't around for a while, and then he did a vodka commercial.

00:50:36.000 There was a vodka commercial that he was a part of some big vodka campaign.

00:50:40.000 But I don't know, like...

00:50:41.000 What kind of films he's been in since then.

00:50:43.000 But I do know that there was...

00:50:45.000 From my limited amount of experience in show business.

00:50:48.000 Because I kind of...

00:50:49.000 When I started doing Fear Factor, I basically divorced myself almost entirely of the acting world.

00:50:55.000 Sure.

00:50:56.000 And I was only in it for like five years when I was doing news radio.

00:50:58.000 And then when I started doing that, I was just out of that world.

00:51:02.000 So I never hung out with those people.

00:51:04.000 I'm not around those people.

00:51:05.000 But when I did, my limited interaction with people...

00:51:09.000 That led me to think that they're probably, like, almost universally, people wanted him blackballed because of that movie.

00:51:16.000 Wow.

00:51:17.000 Like, it was so common.

00:51:18.000 Well, it definitely crosses the boundary of, like, you know, if you have, like...

00:51:22.000 When people have controversial sex scenes that come up, like, I kind of remember Eyes Wide Shut.

00:51:27.000 That's just what comes to mind. 0.99

00:51:28.000 When that movie came out, people were like, oh my god, you know, there's some serious shit in there. 1.00

00:51:32.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:51:32.000 And then, you know, keep pushing the envelope. 0.99

00:51:35.000 But I think, you know, an actual sex scene in a non-quote-unquote-pornographic film, it's like, all of a sudden all the filmmakers are like, oh, what the fuck? 0.99

00:51:45.000 You know, why'd you, you totally like, you know. 0.99

00:51:47.000 Like cheating almost, you can do that?

00:51:48.000 And now everybody's paying attention to it?

00:51:50.000 Yeah.

00:51:51.000 Well, it's not the formal kind of traditional sense of a sex scene, so I'm sure filmmakers would be a little bit perturbed. 0.99

00:52:01.000 But I don't give a shit. 0.99

00:52:02.000 That's just my take on it. 0.99

00:52:04.000 Apparently, Homeboy's still doing movies.

00:52:06.000 Good for him.

00:52:07.000 Buffalo 66 was a really interesting movie, too.

00:52:10.000 Brown Bunny was in 2004, and he did a couple of movies since then. 0.93

00:52:17.000 Here and there, like little parts and weird shit.

00:52:20.000 Joe, do you ever get movie offers or anything like that these days? 0.93

00:52:24.000 Yeah.

00:52:24.000 Yeah, not good ones.

00:52:26.000 But yeah, it's never worth it.

00:52:29.000 Because even if one of them was a big movie, but it wasn't that much money, and I had to go somewhere for a couple of weeks.

00:52:36.000 And I was like, you've got to pay me a lot of money, and it's got to be worth my while.

00:52:40.000 It's going to be interesting for me to want to do it.

00:52:42.000 Or I've got to know somebody in it that I'm going to enjoy hanging out with.

00:52:46.000 Otherwise, I'd rather just do a free podcast.

00:52:49.000 Sounds ridiculous.

00:52:50.000 Yeah. 0.73

00:52:51.000 I'd rather do a set at the Ice House.

00:52:53.000 At a certain point in time, it's like, what do you want?

00:52:55.000 Do you want a bunch of money or do you want to do things that you enjoy doing?

00:52:59.000 And the more you say, I want a bunch of money, the less you're going to do things you enjoy doing.

00:53:04.000 And the more you say, I want to do things I enjoy doing, somehow or another, the more money you start making.

00:53:09.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:53:11.000 Ben, that's it.

00:53:11.000 Let's do that.

00:53:12.000 You're already doing it.

00:53:14.000 Actually, you know what?

00:53:14.000 I'll be honest with you.

00:53:16.000 Please do.

00:53:17.000 I think I'm always honest, actually.

00:53:21.000 Well, please don't.

00:53:22.000 Don't tell me that.

00:53:24.000 Make it seem like it's a special moment.

00:53:25.000 No, we've had a really great year so far.

00:53:28.000 It's the same conversation I've had with everybody.

00:53:30.000 We've had a really great year so far as shows that have been coming in.

00:53:34.000 We've had a few private gigs where those are really fruitful.

00:53:40.000 You know, someone's like...

00:53:41.000 Literally, we actually...

00:53:42.000 This was amazing.

00:53:43.000 We played a...

00:53:44.000 A gig for a birthday party, but it was a very well set up.

00:53:50.000 It was the 21st birthday party.

00:53:53.000 This girl's 20, 21 years old.

00:53:55.000 But her father's a Microsoft exec.

00:53:59.000 And they are fans of our band.

00:54:00.000 And it was such a great opportunity to make new friends, but also, you know, get...

00:54:07.000 We're good to go.

00:54:24.000 It's sort of like, we've been doing this for eight years, you know?

00:54:28.000 And it's nice to have those things when they come up and not have to have a side job right now. 0.97

00:54:33.000 Yeah, well, you guys are really fucking talented. 0.80

00:54:35.000 And the world is very strange right now when it comes to music. 0.98

00:54:39.000 It is.

00:54:40.000 Thanks, man.

00:54:40.000 The way to distribute things has gone topsy-turvy.

00:54:44.000 It's hard, man.

00:54:45.000 Record companies are whacked.

00:54:46.000 Yeah, that stuff, you just have to do it on your own.

00:54:50.000 The internet.

00:54:50.000 Well, the internet, you can do live shows.

00:54:53.000 There's a thing called Stage It, and we've done a few of those, and we're actually going to do one soon.

00:54:58.000 But touring, you know, touring.

00:55:00.000 Yeah.

00:55:01.000 Because you can't sell records anymore.

00:55:03.000 It's not the same.

00:55:03.000 You can, but not like...

00:55:04.000 It's not the same.

00:55:06.000 No, it's not like...

00:55:07.000 But we actually...

00:55:08.000 Like, when we went to Europe, we actually just got off the road this past...

00:55:11.000 At the end of last year, we opened up for a guy named Jake Bug. 0.99

00:55:15.000 Fuck Jake Bug. 1.00

00:55:16.000 I'm tired of this bullshit. 1.00

00:55:16.000 It was... 1.00

00:55:17.000 Well, we got...

00:55:18.000 You can't bite the hand that...

00:55:20.000 Man, we...

00:55:20.000 I'm totally kidding.

00:55:21.000 I don't even know who Jake Bug is.

00:55:22.000 It was amazing.

00:55:23.000 I just felt like saying that.

00:55:24.000 No, he's like a British rock sensation.

00:55:28.000 Oh, cool.

00:55:28.000 And he took us overseas with him, and it was amazing.

00:55:30.000 It was...

00:55:31.000 Really hard. 0.99

00:55:32.000 We got our asses handed to us in the UK. What do you mean? 0.99

00:55:37.000 Rowdy crowds.

00:55:38.000 And we played as a duo.

00:55:39.000 A duo?

00:55:40.000 In front of 6,000 people.

00:55:41.000 When we play as a full band, you get drums and bass and it's like...

00:55:45.000 Rowdy crowds, man.

00:55:47.000 England has a lot of crazy rowdy crowds, too.

00:55:49.000 England was rough on us, but Europe was amazing.

00:55:52.000 They were probably some of the best crowds we've ever had.

00:55:56.000 Wow.

00:55:57.000 You guys have opened for quite a few famous people.

00:55:59.000 Who else were you guys opening for?

00:56:01.000 What did we do last?

00:56:03.000 We did Sheryl Crow. 0.87

00:56:04.000 We opened some shows for her.

00:56:04.000 Yeah, that's what I was talking about.

00:56:05.000 What was that like?

00:56:06.000 It was great, man.

00:56:07.000 What does she like to hang out with?

00:56:08.000 She's super sweet. 1.00

00:56:09.000 Yeah, she's amazing. 1.00

00:56:11.000 Everything she did, she'd have these little speeches during her set talking about how she needed to.

00:56:16.000 We had a Kickstarter at the time.

00:56:18.000 She's so sweet.

00:56:18.000 I don't think she really understood the concept of it.

00:56:20.000 She gave speeches to get you guys some money at your Kickstarter?

00:56:23.000 Yeah, but she'd say things like, vote for Honey Honey. 1.00

00:56:28.000 She's so goddamn sweet. 0.84

00:56:30.000 She was amazing. 0.94

00:56:33.000 She's got a beautiful voice, man.

00:56:35.000 And she's a beautiful woman.

00:56:37.000 She's like an empire builder, too.

00:56:40.000 It's so cool to see the people in her position who figured out, okay, I've had a successful music career, but I can just branch out now and create this whole universe of Sheryl Crow.

00:56:49.000 Right, right, right.

00:56:50.000 Yeah, I enjoy her music, man.

00:56:53.000 One time I was in my car and my friend Eddie was in the car with me and he asked me if I could give his girlfriend a ride somewhere.

00:57:01.000 So she hopped in the car and Sheryl Crow was playing. 0.96

00:57:04.000 And it was like, is this a joke?

00:57:07.000 Like, are you playing this as a joke?

00:57:08.000 And I'm like, I like Sheryl Crow.

00:57:10.000 I was like, no, you don't like Sheryl Crow.

00:57:12.000 It became like an argument with her and I whether or not I like Sheryl Crow.

00:57:15.000 You're being ironic.

00:57:15.000 Like, you're being ironic.

00:57:16.000 I go, no, my favorite mistake is like a great fucking song. 0.99

00:57:19.000 Oh, it's such a great song. 0.99

00:57:20.000 It's a beautiful song.

00:57:21.000 She's like, no, you're like a monkey. 0.97

00:57:24.000 Like, you're like eight. 0.72

00:57:25.000 She's like mocking me.

00:57:26.000 It was all just fun.

00:57:28.000 It was in good fun.

00:57:29.000 She's like, shouldn't you be listening to like death metal or something or something with a confederate flag attached to it?

00:57:36.000 Rage Against the Machine, you seem more like a rage guy.

00:57:38.000 From doing your show, we have all these dudes come out.

00:57:40.000 I know we've told you this before.

00:57:42.000 These dudes come out tatted up, six foot five.

00:57:45.000 We're playing a ballad and just be like, screaming before the show during the ballads.

00:57:51.000 It's amazing.

00:57:51.000 We have the nicest fans ever.

00:57:54.000 They're the best.

00:57:55.000 And everyone always asks about you.

00:57:56.000 They're like, what's he like? 0.83

00:57:58.000 And I'm like, he's fucking awesome. 0.96

00:57:59.000 He gives great hugs. 0.97

00:58:01.000 He's really good at pool.

00:58:03.000 I'm going to tell him that now.

00:58:04.000 When we guys did...

00:58:06.000 When we guys...

00:58:06.000 Is that a word?

00:58:08.000 When we did that show together, December 21st, 2012 show, that was fun as shit. 0.57

00:58:13.000 That was the first and only time I've ever done a show like that where it was Doug Stanhope, Joey Diaz, you guys...

00:58:19.000 Let's do another one. 0.98

00:58:20.000 Yeah, fuck yeah, I'm in. 1.00

00:58:22.000 Let's do it. 1.00

00:58:23.000 I'm totally down.

00:58:24.000 We could totally do that again.

00:58:25.000 That was really fun.

00:58:27.000 It was really interesting, too.

00:58:28.000 Let's do it in Nashville.

00:58:29.000 Weird people out.

00:58:30.000 What's that?

00:58:30.000 Do it in Nashville?

00:58:31.000 Yeah.

00:58:32.000 I kind of...

00:58:33.000 I have a friend who has a club in Nashville.

00:58:35.000 I'm in town.

00:58:36.000 I do his club.

00:58:37.000 This ain't easy.

00:58:37.000 Yeah.

00:58:38.000 He supports comedy.

00:58:41.000 It's like these small clubs.

00:58:43.000 There's a weird thing with me with certain small clubs.

00:58:46.000 I kind of have to do them.

00:58:48.000 I have to support them.

00:58:49.000 And that's one of them.

00:58:50.000 There's not a lot of comedy out there.

00:58:52.000 I feel like he's an island.

00:58:54.000 And I know he gets good acts there on a regular basis, but I always feel the need.

00:58:59.000 The Ice House is another one.

00:59:00.000 I would never do a theater in Pasadena.

00:59:02.000 It's never going to happen.

00:59:03.000 If I'm in Pasadena, I do the Ice House.

00:59:05.000 Just because the owner is my friend and he supports comedy.

00:59:10.000 Loyalty. 0.97

00:59:10.000 That's fucking awesome. 0.97

00:59:11.000 Well, it's that. 0.99

00:59:12.000 It's also...

00:59:13.000 I don't need to do anything else.

00:59:16.000 You know what I mean?

00:59:16.000 It's not like a desperate moment where if I don't do the theater, my kids are going to be hungry.

00:59:20.000 Dude, you were on fire.

00:59:22.000 That End of the World show was amazing.

00:59:24.000 There was something magical happening that night.

00:59:26.000 It was pretty fun.

00:59:27.000 It was fun.

00:59:27.000 And Doug Stanhope.

00:59:28.000 What a guy.

00:59:28.000 He's awesome.

00:59:29.000 And Joey.

00:59:30.000 And Joey Diaz is awesome, too.

00:59:32.000 That show couldn't have been more fun.

00:59:33.000 It was beautiful.

00:59:34.000 It was a beautiful show.

00:59:36.000 The audience was so nice, too.

00:59:37.000 They were so fun, and they enjoyed it so much.

00:59:40.000 It was just so cool.

00:59:42.000 You know, that's the one most surprising thing about all this, is not just the connection to all these people that we've somehow or another fostered, but how nice they are.

00:59:51.000 Like, when we do shows.

00:59:53.000 I did a show the other day in Chicago, and after the show, I took pictures with people for two hours.

00:59:59.000 Right.

00:59:59.000 We went outside, and I said, anybody who wants to take a picture, I said, I'll be here until the last one you leave.

01:00:03.000 That's great.

01:00:04.000 I stood behind a table, and I said, this is what we're going to do.

01:00:08.000 I'll do five minutes on this side, five minutes in the middle, and then five minutes on that side, and then we'll keep switching.

01:00:13.000 And we just went every five minutes.

01:00:15.000 And I set my timer on my phone.

01:00:16.000 And at five minutes, I'd be like, all right, I'm moving, I'm moving.

01:00:19.000 And I'd go do this side.

01:00:20.000 Dude, that's incredible.

01:00:20.000 It was just a swarm of people around these tables.

01:00:23.000 Good for you. 0.97

01:00:25.000 What my point was, was for two hours, nobody was a dick. 0.76

01:00:29.000 Not one person. 0.99

01:00:30.000 Everyone was cool as fuck. 0.98

01:00:32.000 Not one person. 1.00

01:00:33.000 Why would they be a dick, though? 0.99

01:00:33.000 This was actually Dallas. 0.99

01:00:35.000 I did it in Chicago, too, but the most recent one was Dallas.

01:00:37.000 But it was just no one at all.

01:00:40.000 Like, nothing.

01:00:41.000 Not one person.

01:00:42.000 No one tried to cut in line. 0.99

01:00:44.000 No one was a shithead. 0.99

01:00:45.000 Oh, I see. 1.00

01:00:45.000 I thought you meant a dick to you. 1.00

01:00:46.000 I'm like, why would they be a dick to you? 0.99

01:00:47.000 Well, we've seen a little bit of that. 0.87

01:00:49.000 You see people, not even with us necessarily, we tour with other acts, and people at the merch booth get aggressive with whoever's signing and say, hey, this is what I want.

01:00:57.000 Basically, you owe this to me, that kind of mentality.

01:01:00.000 It does happen.

01:01:01.000 I think it all...

01:01:02.000 I mean, I don't know.

01:01:04.000 Because I'm trying to figure out how this happened.

01:01:06.000 Because it never happened to me before.

01:01:08.000 Like, before the podcast and before...

01:01:12.000 Social media.

01:01:13.000 Essentially when I was dealing with people, I was dealing with people that knew me from something else.

01:01:17.000 They knew me from Fear Factor, or they knew me from the UFC, or they knew me from news radio, or they knew me from comedy.

01:01:24.000 Those were the options.

01:01:25.000 It wasn't they knew me.

01:01:26.000 These people just all know me.

01:01:28.000 It's weird.

01:01:29.000 It's totally different.

01:01:30.000 It's like, they say hi, like they know me.

01:01:33.000 You know, like, dude, what's up?

01:01:34.000 And I'm like, what's up?

01:01:35.000 What's going on?

01:01:36.000 You know, it's very strange.

01:01:37.000 But they do.

01:01:38.000 I mean, you get to reveal these really amazing parts of yourself and your mind on your podcast.

01:01:46.000 And I think that's such a great thing about what you're doing and what, you know, most podcasts, if they're good ones, you know, you create good conversation.

01:01:55.000 You create...

01:01:57.000 Real situations of conversation, and people get to witness that, and that's so cool.

01:02:01.000 Well, they also get to be a part of it, you know, because they get to see the whole thing.

01:02:05.000 Like, one of the things I like about this podcast, we don't edit it.

01:02:08.000 It goes out live.

01:02:09.000 It's all, you know, it is what it is.

01:02:12.000 And because of that, you kind of get to see who everybody really is.

01:02:16.000 If it was really produced, and there was all these fast edits, and there was all this, you know, really pre-planned segments, and it would feel...

01:02:24.000 Feel less like you were really there.

01:02:27.000 You might enjoy it still, but you wouldn't feel like you'd know the people that well. 0.99

01:02:31.000 And people that are stuck in some shit spot, wherever the fuck you are, if you're in Bangor, Maine, or not to besmirch Bangor, it's a fine community. 0.97

01:02:40.000 But if you're anywhere, if you're in some weird spot and you don't have a lot of cool people around you, you can listen to Honey Honey Talk. 0.99

01:02:47.000 You can listen to Adam Carolla.

01:02:49.000 There's a bunch of people that you're going to get to listen to the way they think.

01:02:53.000 And I know for a fact that part of who I am has been formed by listening to people far smarter and more experienced in my self-talk.

01:03:01.000 And that their thoughts shaped my reality.

01:03:05.000 And so to be able to introduce other people to...

01:03:10.000 The thoughts and ideas that have shaped my reality, my thoughts and ideas that I've gotten from those thoughts and ideas, and other people's thoughts and ideas that continue to shape my reality.

01:03:20.000 It's not just me putting on a show, it's me being a part of it, and the audience be a part of it too.

01:03:25.000 Everyone's a part of it.

01:03:26.000 It's like...

01:03:27.000 I'll tell you what. 0.75

01:03:28.000 I think that it's an incredible thing that you're doing that and you're continuing to do that because if the majority of people are watching bullshit reality shows, you know, where they're scripted and staged and they're supposed to be these candid examples... 1.00

01:03:44.000 Of really asinine shit. 0.99

01:03:46.000 It really annoys me, you know, like Real Housewives. 1.00

01:03:48.000 And it's like trying to make something like, oh, you're wearing the same dress as me or whatever the fuck be important and I'm going to fight you. 0.95

01:03:56.000 I don't even know. 1.00

01:03:57.000 I don't watch that shit. 1.00

01:03:58.000 Because I think it's bad for you. 1.00

01:04:00.000 I think that it lowers your...

01:04:05.000 Vibration.

01:04:06.000 You know what I mean?

01:04:07.000 And when you're doing what you're doing, which is being – I think you're brilliant.

01:04:13.000 I'm not trying to be weird.

01:04:14.000 But you have this incredible mind and you share it with people and lots of different people and you have these situations.

01:04:19.000 It's really great to listen to and you're right.

01:04:22.000 People learn from it.

01:04:23.000 Well, I'm definitely not brilliant, but what I am is curious and I have a lot of free time.

01:04:28.000 Call it what you want. 0.96

01:04:29.000 I keep thinking about shit because I have the ability to do so. 0.99

01:04:33.000 I don't know if people were born to do anything in life. 0.99

01:04:37.000 I don't know if anybody was born to do anything in life.

01:04:39.000 But I think, for sure, if you follow your passion, you feel like you were born to do this.

01:04:44.000 For sure, if you actually do what you enjoy out of life.

01:05:12.000 Did he really say that?

01:05:14.000 Yeah.

01:05:14.000 You know why?

01:05:15.000 Because he's a weak bitch. 1.00

01:05:17.000 He's a weak bitch, and he's worried that he possibly wasted his life writing shitty articles like this. 1.00

01:05:22.000 And in fact, he did. 1.00

01:05:23.000 And he was also talking about how fortunate he is, personally, to do what he does, but all these self-deprecating throws to poverty in it, and all this nonsense in it.

01:05:32.000 Essentially what he was doing was he was writing a thing that was downplaying greatness and inspiration. 1.00

01:05:41.000 And when someone says follow your passion, you know, if anybody that says don't do that is a fucking idiot. 1.00

01:05:47.000 Because here's the thing. 1.00

01:05:48.000 If you love making guitars, okay, and you just love guitars, you love making guitars, and you say, God, I would love to make guitars for a living.

01:05:55.000 Someone! 0.99

01:05:56.000 No one fucking does that, okay? 1.00

01:05:58.000 There's a guy out there and he gets up every morning and he makes fucking guitars. 0.99

01:06:02.000 And if that's what he loves to do, that guy loves life. 1.00

01:06:05.000 We're not talking about breathing underwater, fuckface. 1.00

01:06:08.000 We're not talking about flying to the moon with a fucking rubber band. 1.00

01:06:10.000 We're talking about making guitars. 1.00

01:06:12.000 If your passion is making guitars, and you read that asshole's article where it says don't follow your passion, fuck you, stupid. 1.00

01:06:19.000 Fuck you, you weak dummy, you fucking disease of ideas. 1.00

01:06:23.000 You're a disease idea. 1.00

01:06:25.000 That's what you are. 1.00

01:06:26.000 You're a rotten little weak man with poor hormones. 1.00

01:06:29.000 And you can't figure out that your passion doesn't necessarily mean rich. 1.00

01:06:34.000 I'm so tired of rich people saying, follow your passion. 1.00

01:06:36.000 Shut the fuck up! 1.00

01:06:38.000 What difference does it make if they're rich? 1.00

01:06:40.000 Everyone should say follow your passion.

01:06:42.000 That's how buildings got made.

01:06:44.000 That's why airplanes were invented. 1.00

01:06:46.000 That's why you could watch fucking television. 0.99

01:06:48.000 Because someone followed their passion. 0.99

01:06:50.000 What happens when you read Lord of the Rings?

01:06:52.000 You're reading someone's passion!

01:06:53.000 You're wearing clothes.

01:06:54.000 You're wearing passion.

01:06:56.000 You're listening to music.

01:06:57.000 You're listening to passion. 1.00

01:06:58.000 I'm reading your stupid fucking article. 1.00

01:07:01.000 Your lack of passion is your passion. 1.00

01:07:03.000 Your lack of following your passion is what you're so passionate about portraying. 1.00

01:07:09.000 Shut up, dummy. 1.00

01:07:10.000 Amen. 1.00

01:07:10.000 Shut up. 1.00

01:07:11.000 Amen. 1.00

01:07:11.000 I'm going to hold you down and I'll butter your scone, you fuckhead. 1.00

01:07:17.000 Oh, no! 1.00

01:07:18.000 It's too late.

01:07:19.000 They got you.

01:07:20.000 Who did it?

01:07:21.000 Did you do that right?

01:07:22.000 No, who's the name?

01:07:22.000 What's the name of it?

01:07:23.000 Diego Peru 420. Powerful Diego Peru 420. And fuck you, dummy.

01:07:31.000 Follow your passion guy again. 1.00

01:07:33.000 Honey, honey's following their passion.

01:07:35.000 I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.

01:07:37.000 I get the feeling you're still not watching this.

01:07:39.000 I don't really mean that guy.

01:07:40.000 I just point out, if that guy listens to this, Joe Rogan hates me.

01:07:44.000 He besmirched me.

01:07:45.000 I don't really hate that guy at all.

01:07:47.000 I would advise against further communications in that sort of thing.

01:07:52.000 Don't be a naysayer.

01:07:53.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:07:53.000 Let somebody have their fucking moment. 1.00

01:07:55.000 Let somebody fail if they're going to fail or succeed. 0.99

01:07:58.000 I understand his point.

01:07:59.000 I truly understand his point.

01:08:02.000 But, you know, I mean, but his, all of his, you know, I was talking, one of the things that Richard Brown said, you should have a couch in your kitchen.

01:08:08.000 And this guy was, like, taking issue with if your kitchen is big enough to have a couch in it.

01:08:12.000 Like, stop.

01:08:13.000 Stop.

01:08:14.000 That doesn't mean you're rich. 1.00

01:08:15.000 A lot of people can get a fucking couch in their kitchen. 1.00

01:08:17.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:08:18.000 You know, like, I hate that real obvious pandering. 1.00

01:08:21.000 Like, I can't afford to have a couch in my kitchen.

01:08:24.000 My kitchen's not big enough.

01:08:26.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:08:26.000 Like, well, fucking whatever, dude. 0.99

01:08:30.000 You know, you're talking nonsense. 1.00

01:08:31.000 There's a better message than that.

01:08:33.000 It's not, you know, it's not don't follow your passions.

01:08:37.000 It's not you're better off keeping your passions as your hobby. 0.96

01:08:40.000 That is absolutely ridiculous. 0.98

01:08:42.000 And the only person that would say that... 0.99

01:08:44.000 Doesn't it have you guide any choice in life?

01:08:45.000 That doesn't make any sense.

01:08:46.000 The only person that would say that is a person who hasn't followed their passions and doesn't make a living off of it.

01:08:50.000 Because if you can make a living off of it...

01:08:52.000 I do not work.

01:08:54.000 I don't work.

01:08:55.000 I don't have any jobs.

01:08:57.000 Even my jobs are not jobs.

01:08:59.000 And I'm not the only one.

01:09:01.000 I know people that make pool cues.

01:09:03.000 My friend Eric, he makes pool cues.

01:09:05.000 He makes beautiful pool cues.

01:09:06.000 He doesn't work.

01:09:07.000 I mean, he makes pool cues.

01:09:09.000 He loves it.

01:09:09.000 He makes them for free and gives them out to people sometimes because he loves doing it.

01:09:13.000 He loves wood.

01:09:14.000 He loves creating things.

01:09:15.000 He started doing it while he was in the military.

01:09:17.000 He did it as a hobby just for fun because he loves doing it.

01:09:21.000 And so when he's making money doing it, he's not really working.

01:09:24.000 What he's doing is following his passion.

01:09:26.000 And if you could figure out a way to do that for money, goddammit, why would you ever try to encourage someone to not do that? 0.79

01:09:34.000 That's so crazy.

01:09:36.000 Even what we were talking about before, if you just start doing it, eventually the money is going to reveal itself.

01:09:40.000 Hopefully.

01:09:41.000 You know, the support.

01:09:41.000 Maybe it's not, you know, your whole lifestyle is being provided for, but you can do something with it.

01:09:45.000 Yeah, hopefully. 0.97

01:09:46.000 Unless you, like, make weird shit, like custom badminton rackets that nobody wants to buy. 0.92

01:09:51.000 I was going to say, like, toothpick teepees or something. 0.99

01:09:53.000 That's your passion.

01:09:55.000 Some days it's going to catch on. 1.00

01:09:56.000 People sell weird shit. 1.00

01:09:57.000 People do sell weird shit. 1.00

01:09:59.000 It's amazing. 0.99

01:10:00.000 And sometimes weird shit's worth a lot of money. 0.94

01:10:01.000 Like I saw something, it was a Fabergé egg that someone found in like a garage sale or something like that, and it was worth like 10 million bucks. 0.98

01:10:10.000 Did you see that?

01:10:11.000 No.

01:10:12.000 Pull that article up.

01:10:13.000 Fabergé egg found, they were like trying to collect scrap.

01:10:15.000 But I looked at it, I was like, oh my god, I wouldn't give you a dollar for that. 0.98

01:10:18.000 If you had that in my house, I'd fucking push it out the door. 0.93

01:10:21.000 You tried to leave that in the house, I was like, no, no, no, you can't leave this here. 0.99

01:10:24.000 It's so funny.

01:10:26.000 Recently, I was a...

01:10:28.000 I saw this article on Beanie Babies, and it was worth like $10,000. 0.97

01:10:33.000 And I was like, holy shit, my grandmother sent us all these Beanie Babies. 0.98

01:10:37.000 Oh, wow. 0.99

01:10:38.000 Look at that.

01:10:39.000 Fabergé egg, worth up to $20 million, found by scrap metal dealer.

01:10:43.000 What are you going to do with it?

01:10:44.000 How is that worth $20 million?

01:10:45.000 I would put that in my bathroom. 1.00

01:10:46.000 That is so dumb. 0.99

01:10:47.000 The idea that that's worth $20 million. 1.00

01:10:50.000 It's so silly, but you know, you've got to let somebody have their passion.

01:10:54.000 Faberge egg, that's what I said. 0.90

01:10:56.000 Yeah.

01:10:56.000 Booty traps.

01:10:57.000 I mean, I guess.

01:10:58.000 Maybe it's really beautiful up close.

01:11:00.000 So recently, I saw this article on Beanie Babies, and there's a collection in my parents' basement given to us by my grandparents when we were kids.

01:11:11.000 My grandma would send us the Princess Diana Beanie Baby, and there's like a hundred of them.

01:11:18.000 And so I was like, I was like, Ma, Ma, I'm gonna go in the basement.

01:11:21.000 I think I'm gonna make some money. 0.97

01:11:22.000 I was like, looking up all this shit, hoping I could sell something on eBay. 0.98

01:11:26.000 Because they were going for like $15,000. 0.99

01:11:28.000 What?

01:11:28.000 People would buy one.

01:11:29.000 Oh my god.

01:11:30.000 But it had to be like, it was really weird.

01:11:32.000 It had to be like...

01:11:35.000 There would be like a technical flaw on the tag, and somebody out there would pay $15,000 for whatever.

01:11:43.000 It's so weird.

01:11:44.000 Oh, because it was really rare?

01:11:45.000 Yeah, I didn't come up with anything good.

01:11:47.000 I was really bummed.

01:11:47.000 But I was downstairs in the basement for like an hour and a half trying to come up with something.

01:11:52.000 So the ones that you found, what do you think they were worth?

01:11:54.000 I'm a hustler.

01:11:55.000 Oh, nothing.

01:11:57.000 Maybe like $10.

01:11:58.000 Oh.

01:11:58.000 Yeah.

01:11:59.000 10 bucks to 15 grand.

01:12:00.000 You know what?

01:12:00.000 The sentimental value of my grandmother, Florence, Santa Sousa, is amazing.

01:12:05.000 I see.

01:12:06.000 I understand.

01:12:07.000 Yeah, she's great.

01:12:08.000 It is weird how things become like super worth money.

01:12:12.000 You know, very, very expensive and it doesn't make sense.

01:12:16.000 Oh, yeah.

01:12:16.000 I saw a watch and it was $500,000.

01:12:20.000 Wow.

01:12:21.000 And apparently it's this amazing hand-built watch, but it wasn't like covered in diamonds or anything like that.

01:12:26.000 It was just this amazing hand-crafted watch.

01:12:30.000 But it's still just a watch.

01:12:32.000 Just because it's handcrafted.

01:12:34.000 If someone gave you a handcrafted spoon, how much more would that be worth in a regular spoon?

01:12:39.000 It depends.

01:12:39.000 Was the handcrafted spoon made by Jimi Hendrix?

01:12:42.000 Okay, that's a good point. 0.99

01:12:43.000 Then, fuck yeah, I'd be pumped about that spoon. 0.99

01:12:45.000 I'd pay a few grand for a handcrafted spoon made by Jimi Hendrix. 0.99

01:12:48.000 I would never eat soup without that spoon.

01:12:50.000 Yeah, that would be your spoon.

01:12:52.000 And you'd be mad if somebody bit it.

01:12:53.000 I'd wear that spoon around my neck.

01:12:55.000 Because I don't like guitars.

01:12:56.000 You'll find guitars for $200,000, $250,000.

01:12:59.000 But most of the people that buy them don't play them.

01:13:01.000 Yeah.

01:13:02.000 What?

01:13:03.000 Glass box.

01:13:04.000 What?

01:13:05.000 Well, they're like legendary.

01:13:06.000 They're irreplaceable.

01:13:09.000 Wow.

01:13:10.000 What is it, like a 55 gold top?

01:13:12.000 The 59 Les Paul Goldtop is worth a ridiculous amount of money.

01:13:17.000 How much?

01:13:18.000 I don't know.

01:13:19.000 It depends.

01:13:19.000 It always flexes, but you could probably sell one for like a hundred grand.

01:13:23.000 It's like that with old cars now.

01:13:25.000 You know, there's certain like old Barracudas that are worth over a million dollars. 1.00

01:13:30.000 And it's just a Plymouth, a shitty old Plymouth.

01:13:34.000 And the ones they want are the ones that are completely stocked. 0.86

01:13:39.000 Like, no new wheels, no new tires, no new interior, everything stock, everything from the factory, little push-button radio, and people will pay exorbitant amounts of money.

01:13:50.000 Well, that's passion.

01:13:50.000 Coming back to passion again.

01:13:51.000 There's a guitar.

01:13:51.000 You just have to find one person.

01:13:53.000 Oh, it's a 58. Oh, is that to say 59?

01:13:55.000 59, yeah.

01:13:56.000 59 less, Paul. 0.99

01:13:57.000 You just need one person to give enough of a shit to say that that's worth $100,000, and then it is. 0.99

01:14:03.000 Losing it, guys. 0.99

01:14:03.000 That's true. 0.99

01:14:04.000 It's like, as soon as it becomes a demand, right?

01:14:06.000 Mm-hmm.

01:14:07.000 Yeah, this is a weird thing, especially if there's a finite amount.

01:14:09.000 Like, there's a finite amount of 1972 Volkswagens.

01:14:13.000 Yeah.

01:14:14.000 If you find a 1972 Volkswagen bug, there's only a few of those that were ever made.

01:14:19.000 You know, how many of them are there left?

01:14:21.000 You know, if you get a pristine one.

01:14:23.000 It becomes very valuable.

01:14:25.000 What's so interesting about that is that some people actually make a business out of just the taste-making trend-setting in general.

01:14:31.000 They might not even be a car maven, but they can be privy to the oncoming trend of...

01:14:39.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:14:40.000 Yes.

01:14:40.000 Totally.

01:14:41.000 All of a sudden, everybody wants those 79 or whatever you said Volkswagen.

01:14:43.000 Yeah.

01:14:44.000 And then you could just be this trader.

01:14:47.000 Uh-huh.

01:14:48.000 eBay middleman.

01:14:48.000 You don't mean traitor.

01:14:50.000 No, no.

01:14:50.000 You mean traitor.

01:14:50.000 Traitor.

01:14:51.000 Traitor. 0.99

01:14:52.000 Yeah, this is a sweet old Volkswagen. 1.00

01:14:54.000 My buddy Jimmy Lawless used to have one of those when we were 18, piled around in this fucking little tiny Volkswagen. 0.97

01:15:00.000 Was he named Jimmy Lawless at 18? 0.96

01:15:02.000 Yeah, his name was Jimmy Lawless his whole life.

01:15:04.000 That's pretty hardcore.

01:15:05.000 No, Jimmy was a good dude.

01:15:08.000 That's a badass name.

01:15:09.000 It is.

01:15:10.000 I was always jealous.

01:15:11.000 We've recently come across some great names.

01:15:13.000 I met somebody in England and his last name was Dragon. 0.99

01:15:16.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:15:16.000 Do you wake up every morning just feeling like you're fucking awesome? 0.99

01:15:19.000 Johnny Dragon. 0.97

01:15:19.000 We met a Rocket, too. 0.97

01:15:20.000 Rocket! 0.99

01:15:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:15:21.000 There was a Rocket.

01:15:22.000 One of my best friends named Eddie Bravo. 0.90

01:15:24.000 That's ridiculous. 0.80

01:15:25.000 Yeah, that guy's pretty cool. 0.99

01:15:26.000 Eddie Bravo's a ridiculous name. 0.86

01:15:27.000 People didn't believe it's a real name. 0.98

01:15:28.000 They're like, come on, son, that ain't your name.

01:15:30.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:15:31.000 That's his fucking name. 1.00

01:15:33.000 Yeah, I was stuck with Joe. 1.00

01:15:35.000 Joe Rogan.

01:15:36.000 It's very boring.

01:15:37.000 No, it's a great name.

01:15:38.000 That's alright now.

01:15:38.000 I mean, it's...

01:15:39.000 I made something out of it.

01:15:40.000 A lot of people know it.

01:15:40.000 It's not much.

01:15:42.000 It's easy to spell. 1.00

01:15:44.000 Schwarzenegger's the baddest motherfucker of all time because they came up to him and they told him, you gotta change that shit. 1.00

01:15:48.000 And he's like, I don't think so. 1.00

01:15:50.000 I like it.

01:15:51.000 I changed my name.

01:15:51.000 I keep it.

01:15:52.000 I shortened my last name.

01:15:54.000 What is the original?

01:15:55.000 Santa Suso. 0.99

01:15:56.000 Damn, that's even better. 0.99

01:15:59.000 When you go solo. 0.99

01:16:02.000 Sorry, dude.

01:16:03.000 I'm sorry.

01:16:05.000 Dude, why are you trying to drive a wedge in the band?

01:16:09.000 Who's a bigger honey supporter than me?

01:16:12.000 I'd love the both of you guys together. 0.88

01:16:14.000 I'm bullshitting. 0.86

01:16:15.000 I just can't help it. 0.96

01:16:16.000 I can't help it.

01:16:17.000 I have bad instincts.

01:16:18.000 My comedian instincts. 0.99

01:16:20.000 They always say something fucked up. 0.99

01:16:22.000 I fight them all day. 1.00

01:16:23.000 I fight them all fucking day. 1.00

01:16:26.000 You know what? 1.00

01:16:28.000 We've weathered the storms over the years.

01:16:31.000 It's been rough.

01:16:32.000 I'm sure. 0.98

01:16:33.000 It's been fucking rough. 0.96

01:16:34.000 Well, you guys get along remarkably well. 0.98

01:16:37.000 One of the things I really enjoy about hanging out with you guys is how, look, no one gets along 100% of the time.

01:16:45.000 It just doesn't work.

01:16:46.000 There's no human beings.

01:16:47.000 Whether it's mother and son, whether it's father and daughter, whether it's brothers and sisters, whether it's friends and neighbors, no one gets along 100% of the time.

01:16:57.000 There's going to be bumps.

01:16:59.000 But you guys are, you have a great energy about you.

01:17:02.000 Like, you guys are friends.

01:17:04.000 You guys are co-creators.

01:17:07.000 You're collaborators.

01:17:09.000 And, you know, you have a very unique bond because of that.

01:17:12.000 And it's interesting to pal around with you guys.

01:17:14.000 Like, to go to dinner with you and hang out with you.

01:17:17.000 Because your bond is, it's unique, but it's also very pure.

01:17:21.000 And that sounds gross to say that.

01:17:24.000 I hate my own words.

01:17:26.000 Well, we figured out a fight pretty early on.

01:17:28.000 Honestly.

01:17:28.000 You figured out how to fight with each other and not have it destroy.

01:17:32.000 Well, you don't insult each other.

01:17:37.000 I had a friend, we were having this conversation a while back.

01:17:41.000 He was talking about his wife, and he's like, everything's fine, but man, when we fight, we both go for the drugular right away.

01:17:50.000 That's tough.

01:17:51.000 Yeah, and I go, what do you mean go for the jugular? 0.81

01:17:53.000 And he goes, well, you know, we know the one thing that really fucks with each other, so we automatically go to that.

01:17:59.000 And I go, okay, who's the first person that's doing that?

01:18:02.000 I don't want to say who it was.

01:18:03.000 You know what?

01:18:04.000 I think in any situation where you're...

01:18:08.000 You're introduced to conflict.

01:18:12.000 Sometimes you want to fight. 0.99

01:18:15.000 You can be quick with your words, whatever, and say mean shit, but that's kind of pointless. 0.99

01:18:21.000 At the end of the day, usually you're fighting, depending on who you're fighting with, but it's your loved ones, at least in my disposition. 0.99

01:18:28.000 And I love them.

01:18:30.000 I don't want to hurt them.

01:18:32.000 So when you approach...

01:18:44.000 Ebony and I Because we have to fight so hard for, sometimes, not all the time, for this union, for our project and what we care about so much. 0.99

01:18:59.000 And so you have to be a good listener, and you have to be humble, and you have to put your fucking foot in your mouth sometimes. 0.98

01:19:06.000 And when I approach a confrontation with my sister or my mom, my family and I, we love each other. 0.99

01:19:12.000 We love each other so much.

01:19:13.000 We fight hard. 0.96

01:19:14.000 And it sucks, and it's painful. 0.92

01:19:17.000 What do you mean? 0.99

01:19:17.000 You fight, get angry at each other? 0.99

01:19:20.000 Yeah, there's a lot of stuff.

01:19:21.000 I'm not going to get into it, but stuff happens.

01:19:23.000 Have a couple more drinks.

01:19:25.000 What's your DPDs? 1.00

01:19:27.000 You fucking watch yourself. 0.99

01:19:29.000 But the point is that if you approach any conflict or confrontation, literally, and I'm not trying to be weird, with love, and you're like, I love this person, and you listen... 0.99

01:19:41.000 I think more often than not, you can really come to a resolve or just a better understanding of that person.

01:19:47.000 You will continue to learn more about people in your life.

01:19:49.000 It's not like you have this all-encompassing knowledge of somebody.

01:19:53.000 And that's the useful side of fighting, too, because then we're hammering shit out that makes us not get along.

01:19:58.000 Maybe we'll get along more in the future.

01:19:59.000 Right.

01:19:59.000 Figure out what it's been.

01:20:01.000 Maybe there's been something you've been doing. 0.98

01:20:02.000 Unless you like to fight, which sucks, and I don't. 0.84

01:20:04.000 Well, then you need to get away from those people. 0.98

01:20:06.000 Yeah.

01:20:06.000 I had a girlfriend once that really liked to fight.

01:20:10.000 That sucks. 0.94

01:20:10.000 Well, you know, it's alright. 0.94

01:20:12.000 I got rid of her. 1.00

01:20:12.000 She had great sex though. 1.00

01:20:13.000 Sorry. 1.00

01:20:13.000 She was a crazy bitch. 1.00

01:20:14.000 She liked to fuck. 1.00

01:20:15.000 But there was one moment where we're heading out to some party and I guess she was stressed out or something like that so she yelled at me like out of nowhere. 0.99

01:20:25.000 And this is the first time she ever yelled at me and I go, hey listen, we can't talk like this.

01:20:30.000 You can't have this conversation with me like this.

01:20:32.000 You're not allowed to yell at me.

01:20:34.000 I go, none of my friends yell at me.

01:20:35.000 No one yells at me.

01:20:36.000 I don't yell at them either.

01:20:37.000 I go, if you're my friend, I go, why would you yell at me?

01:20:41.000 You don't yell at me if you're more concerned with it just exploding, throwing up your own energy than you are with the repercussions it's going to have on the people around you.

01:20:53.000 That's an ultimately very selfish thing to do.

01:20:55.000 And I go, we can't ever talk like that.

01:20:57.000 And she just immediately deflated.

01:21:01.000 Like, all of her anger, like, went away.

01:21:02.000 It was a very weird moment, and we just sat down and we had a conversation.

01:21:05.000 But did you say it kind of in that tone?

01:21:06.000 Exactly in that tone.

01:21:07.000 Yeah, the tone is everything.

01:21:08.000 That's pretty powerful, man.

01:21:10.000 Tone is powerful.

01:21:11.000 Well, it was pretty powerful, but she couldn't help herself.

01:21:13.000 I don't know what it was.

01:21:14.000 It was something in her childhood, because we wound up staying friends, but we broke up, and then she started dating some new guy, and...

01:21:22.000 She calls me up and she's like really frustrated.

01:21:25.000 She's really frustrated because she can't keep yelling at this.

01:21:28.000 She can't keep from yelling at this guy.

01:21:30.000 She keeps yelling at him and she doesn't know what to do. 0.96

01:21:32.000 She's like, I yell at him and he takes it and I fucking keep yelling at him and I don't know what to do. 0.98

01:21:37.000 He lets me bully him so I start fucking bullying him and I can't even stop myself. 0.80

01:21:45.000 You know, if you grow up with that, with yelling, and it's really funny. 0.97

01:21:50.000 My mom is awesome, but I grew up with a lot of yelling. 1.00

01:21:52.000 My mom yelled a lot, and I was bad.

01:21:55.000 But this is kind of hysterical.

01:21:57.000 We had a family bird.

01:21:59.000 It was a boy, but his name was Abby.

01:22:01.000 And he was an African gray. 0.93

01:22:03.000 And they're really smart. 1.00

01:22:04.000 They're really fucking smart animals. 0.99

01:22:06.000 And they repeat a lot of things. 0.99

01:22:08.000 And literally, my sisters, I grew up with, Carla and Jodi, the bird would go, Carla!

01:22:14.000 Jody!

01:22:15.000 And then it would go, Suzanne!

01:22:17.000 And it would have this total slur of screaming words that you couldn't understand, but it was pretty accurate. 1.00

01:22:25.000 Because I got yelled at a lot, and my mom would yell at me. 0.98

01:22:28.000 And so it was always this reminder, like when I would walk in the room, sometimes the bird would be like, Suzanne! 1.00

01:22:33.000 You fucking dumb cunt! 1.00

01:22:35.000 God, my mom never called me a cunt. 1.00

01:22:37.000 That would be horrible. 0.99

01:22:38.000 That would be a really bad thing.

01:22:39.000 She meant it, though. 1.00

01:22:40.000 Whatever the fucking noise she made, it's the same thing as calling you a cunt. 1.00

01:22:44.000 But it's funny. 1.00

01:22:44.000 We love each other so much, but we fought a lot. 1.00

01:22:47.000 Oh, that's rough.

01:22:50.000 But yeah, yelling is a difficult thing to...

01:22:53.000 As an adult now, it's really funny.

01:22:58.000 I went the other way.

01:22:59.000 My mom, she would just freeze me out. 1.00

01:23:01.000 So I just go into deep silence.

01:23:03.000 Oh, that's worse.

01:23:05.000 Sometimes it's better if someone has enough caring for you that they yell at you and fight with you.

01:23:09.000 You work it out.

01:23:10.000 Everybody gets tired at the end of working it out.

01:23:12.000 A lot of talking, yeah.

01:23:13.000 But this girl, she wasn't a bad person.

01:23:17.000 And growing up later and becoming a dad, I kind of really feel for her. 0.98

01:23:21.000 Because I think that what happened with this girl was she was just programmed in a really shitty way by dummies. 0.98

01:23:29.000 And she grew up in Florida, and there were a bunch of dummies around her. 1.00

01:23:33.000 Cereal capital of the United States? 0.98

01:23:35.000 Cereal killer capital? 0.99

01:23:36.000 Yeah, not cereal.

01:23:37.000 There's a lot of Coco Pops there. 1.00

01:23:39.000 Captain Crunch by the fucking weirdos. 0.99

01:23:44.000 You know, I think that's a lot of who we are. 0.99

01:23:47.000 It's like how we were programmed when we were young.

01:23:49.000 And this girl, she wasn't a bad person. 0.97

01:23:52.000 She was just battling with her programming as she was trying to be an actress, which, fucking good luck with all that. 0.96

01:23:58.000 It's really funny. 0.96

01:23:59.000 Sorry, Ben, go ahead.

01:24:00.000 I was just going to say, isn't that what the neuroplasticity concept is?

01:24:03.000 You can change that stuff. 0.99

01:24:05.000 You can, but, you know, neuroplasticity is all nice and good, but if you're that fucked up, I recommend MDMA. I don't think that neuroplasticity is really going to fucking get you to the dance. 0.98

01:24:15.000 But what does that do? 0.95

01:24:16.000 Just kind of blast it all into pieces?

01:24:19.000 It makes you understand love in a weird, pure form, you know?

01:24:22.000 I mean, and people could say it's a drug, but that drug, by the way, exists in everyone's brain right now as we speak.

01:24:29.000 What you're dealing with with dopamine and MDMA is elevated dopamine levels, elevated feelings of love and passion and connection to each other.

01:24:39.000 Somebody sent me this video.

01:24:41.000 It's really kind of interesting.

01:24:42.000 You probably find it, Brian.

01:24:43.000 It's Joe Rogan talks indirectly about rave culture.

01:24:47.000 And it was me talking about...

01:24:53.000 We're good to go.

01:25:15.000 99.9% of those people are on ecstasy. 0.99

01:25:19.000 You're looking at 15,000 people that are in this huge football arena and they're dancing around and touching each other and having a great fucking time. 0.98

01:25:29.000 Why are they having such a great time? 0.99

01:25:30.000 How come they can get together and smoosh up like that and no one's a dick? 0.99

01:25:33.000 I'll tell you why. 0.99

01:25:34.000 Because they're all on ecstasy.

01:25:36.000 And when I say 99.999, there's that point whatever. 1.00

01:25:41.000 Those people are assholes. 1.00

01:25:42.000 There shouldn't be a dick. 1.00

01:25:43.000 But not necessarily... 0.86

01:25:44.000 Can I be honest with you?

01:25:45.000 I think that also...

01:25:47.000 I read this book on collective joy.

01:25:50.000 It's really interesting because...

01:25:52.000 Like, back to our primitive tribal selves, like, you know, when there would be, like, rain dances and the tribes would dance and they would all move together, you know, there would be this collective sort of consciousness that people would have coalescing between them.

01:26:07.000 And, like...

01:26:09.000 I recently have reconnected with dancing.

01:26:12.000 Like, I went to a party and there was a DJ and, you know, I had like a couple drinks, whatever, but like I wasn't on drugs at the time.

01:26:21.000 And, you know, rarely, but let's get into that later.

01:26:25.000 But the dancing, the movement with the sound is a powerful thing.

01:26:31.000 Drugs or no drugs.

01:26:32.000 And I think there's something really interesting about it as far as a collective, you know, group of people in harmony, you know?

01:26:39.000 As a comedian, that's what I essentially do for a living.

01:26:43.000 As a comedian, what you're doing is connecting all these minds together in some sort of a harmonious tribal function.

01:26:52.000 That's why the smaller the tribe, usually, generally, the better it works.

01:26:57.000 But one of the weird things about this connection with the Internet is that people are getting used to larger and larger numbers.

01:27:03.000 We've had shows with 3,000 plus people and it feels like it's intimate.

01:27:08.000 It feels intimate, like everyone's tuned in.

01:27:10.000 3,000 people and they're all tuned in.

01:27:13.000 I mean directly tuned in, responsible, like they feel like they're a part of what's going on.

01:27:18.000 But when you really feel it more is when you can see everybody.

01:27:23.000 It's like 300 people is, I think, the number.

01:27:27.000 When you get above 300 people, things get squirrely.

01:27:30.000 You can handle it if the people are the right people, but most of the time you're better off with 300 people.

01:27:35.000 But what you're essentially doing is you're conducting a tribal bonding moment.

01:27:41.000 Everybody's experiencing the same vibe.

01:27:43.000 We had that moment in St. Paul.

01:27:46.000 We had a show last week in St. Paul, and every once in a while we just get to play to a group of about 300 people.

01:27:53.000 You know, being seated with our music helps because when we're a duo it's not really rhythmically heavy.

01:28:00.000 So you have a seated group of people and they're just so willing and kind of vulnerable to us taking charge and there's this energy that goes way beyond what we can do.

01:28:10.000 And all of a sudden, it's a show between us and them, and they're putting in more than we are.

01:28:15.000 And those experiences, I don't know, they haven't happened as often as we'd like, but they seem to be happening more, and it's an amazing feeling.

01:28:25.000 It's kind of a weightlessness when you're performing.

01:28:27.000 You don't have to think about it anymore.

01:28:28.000 We all need the audience.

01:28:32.000 For you and for comedians, I think we need it in a different way, but it's similarly important.

01:28:40.000 An audience is there to let you know that they're tuning in to all this work that you've done.

01:28:47.000 They get all the things that you've said.

01:28:48.000 They understand all the stuff that you've done.

01:28:51.000 You know, labored on and formed into these rhythmic sort of pieces, which is what a song really is.

01:29:02.000 And for comedians, it's not just like... 0.97

01:29:05.000 It's fucking 100% mandatory. 0.97

01:29:08.000 You can't even write it without them. 0.98

01:29:10.000 The writing changes when you're around them.

01:29:12.000 When they become a part of it and their laughter, each crowd you perform in front of helps shape the material.

01:29:19.000 It changes the material from week to week.

01:29:23.000 Without those other people, without the involvement of the other people, it really doesn't even exist.

01:29:29.000 It's weird.

01:29:30.000 I never think about this show, but I was just thinking about American Idol when we were talking about this. 1.00

01:29:35.000 You think about it every day, you fucking liar. 0.99

01:29:38.000 He's like, when is it going to be my time? 1.00

01:29:39.000 I never think about this show.

01:29:42.000 Never!

01:29:43.000 I'm over the hill, man.

01:29:45.000 It's like a competition culture, and I think that fucks it up.

01:29:48.000 I think that fucks it up a lot. 0.99

01:29:49.000 It helps the people that make it, but it doesn't because then the fucking money just lines up. 0.98

01:29:54.000 What's that dude's name? 0.98

01:29:55.000 Pockets?

01:29:56.000 What's his name?

01:29:56.000 Simon?

01:29:57.000 I don't think he does it anymore, does he?

01:29:59.000 But he's in a giant mansion on the top of the hills.

01:30:03.000 I feel like we have talked about this before on the podcast, but it's important to bring up again.

01:30:07.000 And I think things like the American Idol microwave mentality is really toxic to people to have this...

01:30:21.000 You know, all of this stuff happening, you know, you won this thing.

01:30:24.000 It's like you won the lottery.

01:30:25.000 The lottery is, you know, more often than not, a really terrible thing for people.

01:30:31.000 And, you know, it's tough, you know.

01:30:36.000 Being a musician and then seeing that...

01:30:37.000 You know, we've had several...

01:30:38.000 It's really funny.

01:30:39.000 We've had several invitations to be on these competitive shows.

01:30:43.000 And people are like, we really want you to be a part of it.

01:30:45.000 And it always just feels so wrong to me.

01:30:47.000 It always feels like you lose a lot to begin with.

01:30:53.000 The people that are involved want to take all of your publishing and stuff like that and own you in a way.

01:30:59.000 And that does kind of come back to what you were talking about before.

01:31:02.000 It's like, we want you to sound like this and do this and sing this. 0.99

01:31:04.000 And fuck that, you know? 0.99

01:31:06.000 But at the same time, not to talk about us, but just the mentality of the princess, like the fairy tale, is rough on people. 1.00

01:31:16.000 You know, I don't like it.

01:31:18.000 Sorry.

01:31:19.000 I agree with you a thousand percent, but that's not a real number.

01:31:23.000 I really do.

01:31:25.000 I think that I entered a contest once in Boston, the WBCN Comedy Riot.

01:31:32.000 It was the only contest I ever entered.

01:31:34.000 I lost in the finals. 0.99

01:31:36.000 Oh, I was like, did you fucking slay it? 0.99

01:31:37.000 No. 1.00

01:31:38.000 Damn it. 1.00

01:31:38.000 No, a nice guy won. 1.00

01:31:40.000 Can't begrudge the gentleman who won.

01:31:42.000 He was a very nice guy. 0.95

01:31:44.000 But it was just like, the idea of it was so silly.

01:31:49.000 I guess you can judge based on what's best for you.

01:31:54.000 What do you find the best?

01:31:56.000 But you can't have a music contest where you have a rap band and a country band and a rock band and a folk band.

01:32:03.000 You can't.

01:32:04.000 Because there's no best.

01:32:06.000 There's the best for you.

01:32:07.000 If it's me, it's very likely a rap band is never going to win.

01:32:11.000 There's a few rappers, unless it's like Nas or something like that.

01:32:15.000 There's a few rappers who really...

01:32:18.000 Who really connect with me, you know, where I really feel like I appreciate what they're doing as an art form.

01:32:24.000 Too much of it is just braggadocious nonsense, you know?

01:32:28.000 Well, hip-hop's tough, too, because it's just hard to hear what they're saying.

01:32:31.000 Yeah, what?

01:32:32.000 Yeah, what?

01:32:33.000 What?

01:32:34.000 Yeah, what?

01:32:34.000 That's kind of what our new record is going to sound like.

01:32:37.000 I like it.

01:32:38.000 Go with it.

01:32:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, honey, honey.

01:32:40.000 But it could be like some Dee Antwoord songs, you know, are fucking perfect. 0.97

01:32:45.000 I think you're freaky and I like it. 0.95

01:32:46.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:32:47.000 I love that.

01:32:48.000 I think you're freaky and I like it a lot. 1.00

01:32:49.000 I love that crazy bitch. 1.00

01:32:52.000 Oh, we need to see some of these interviews with her because apparently she just reams out everyone who interviews her. 1.00

01:32:58.000 Yeah, that bitch is crazy. 1.00

01:33:00.000 I'll have her on the podcast. 1.00

01:33:01.000 We need to put on this whole, you know, tough exterior. 1.00

01:33:03.000 I'll tie that bitch up. 1.00

01:33:04.000 David chose friends with her. 1.00

01:33:06.000 He hangs out with them all the time.

01:33:06.000 Good, perfect.

01:33:07.000 Let's do it.

01:33:07.000 Let's make it happen.

01:33:08.000 Those guys signed a shirt for me.

01:33:10.000 I got a shirt, a t-shirt from them.

01:33:11.000 That's pretty dope.

01:33:12.000 They're badass.

01:33:13.000 I love...

01:33:14.000 We saw them at Coachella.

01:33:15.000 Or I saw them at Coachella before we played.

01:33:17.000 Yeah.

01:33:18.000 They're gangster.

01:33:20.000 They're pretty badass.

01:33:21.000 But, I mean, unless it's something really unique like that, it's hard for me to get into too much rap because it's just not my tune.

01:33:28.000 Whatever it is, it's not my frequency.

01:33:29.000 I'm a big fan of the Black Keys.

01:33:33.000 I'm a big fan of a band.

01:33:35.000 I don't know if you guys heard of them.

01:33:35.000 They're called Honey Honey.

01:33:37.000 What?

01:33:38.000 They're probably one of my favorites.

01:33:39.000 Sounds pretty lame.

01:33:40.000 No, it's not lame, but if a lot of your friends are around and they're like football players or something like that, don't play it in front of them.

01:33:48.000 Oh, upcoming tours. 1.00

01:33:50.000 They wind up, fuck you. 1.00

01:33:51.000 Hey guys. 1.00

01:33:52.000 Where are you guys at?

01:33:53.000 We're doing a little run in April.

01:33:55.000 I would like to offer you something right now.

01:33:57.000 You cannot say no.

01:33:59.000 I would like to tweet all of your dates.

01:34:01.000 Let me know any times you're anywhere.

01:34:03.000 Aw, man.

01:34:03.000 Thank you.

01:34:03.000 I'd be more than happy.

01:34:05.000 I'd do it with everybody.

01:34:06.000 Thank you.

01:34:06.000 Thank you, Joseph.

01:34:06.000 I'd do it with everybody and no one gets annoyed.

01:34:09.000 Everybody is happy about it because they find out...

01:34:11.000 We always think you're going to get annoyed.

01:34:12.000 We get weird about it. 1.00

01:34:13.000 Yeah, we feel weird asking for shit. 0.99

01:34:15.000 I don't get annoyed. 0.99

01:34:16.000 We just want to play pool and drink beers.

01:34:18.000 I barely drink.

01:34:19.000 I appreciate that you guys feel weird, but it's no work at all for me.

01:34:25.000 And I would probably feel weird if I was asking you.

01:34:28.000 So don't feel weird.

01:34:30.000 We'll tweet for you anytime.

01:34:32.000 How about we make a deal? 0.99

01:34:33.000 You fucking tweet for me too. 1.00

01:34:35.000 Done. 1.00

01:34:36.000 Are you tweeting me?

01:34:37.000 I'll tweet for you.

01:34:38.000 Let's make it happen, okay?

01:34:39.000 We made an agreement.

01:34:40.000 Look, it's on tape, so we can't go back on it. 0.52

01:34:42.000 Anytime you're anywhere, every time you're anywhere, unless I'm hunting in Alaska, which I will be doing soon, I'm going to the Brooks Range to fuck up a moose's day. 0.93

01:34:52.000 Oh my god.

01:34:53.000 That deer is delicious.

01:34:54.000 Do you know how to butcher it?

01:34:55.000 What happens?

01:34:56.000 I know the whole deer.

01:34:56.000 What are you going to wear?

01:34:57.000 What do you do?

01:34:58.000 That's all I'm doing, man. 0.98

01:34:59.000 All I'm doing these days is fucking every day I do podcasts, then I get home from podcasts, I shoot bows and arrows. 0.99

01:35:04.000 Oh my god. 0.99

01:35:05.000 I shot 150 arrows yesterday with a 90-pound bow. 0.99

01:35:08.000 I'm not fucking around. 0.98

01:35:09.000 Can we come? 0.98

01:35:09.000 I want to go. 0.98

01:35:10.000 Fuck yeah, bitch. 1.00

01:35:11.000 Dude, I fucking love that shit. 1.00

01:35:12.000 Listen, both of you guys can come. 1.00

01:35:13.000 We've got to sing songs, though, and scare away the bears.

01:35:15.000 I'll do it.

01:35:17.000 They hate our shit, which is weird. 0.99

01:35:18.000 Well, Steve Rinella, who's the host of this show that I do called The Meat Eater, I've done his show twice and I'm committing to doing it like four times a year where we go out and hunt. 0.99

01:35:27.000 It's an amazing show.

01:35:28.000 The guy's a brilliant author.

01:35:30.000 He's incredibly well read.

01:35:31.000 Just a brilliant guy who also happens to be a really badass hunter who is really into what they call fair chase hunting.

01:35:40.000 And the fair chase hunting is he won't hunt in a caged environment.

01:35:44.000 He's not going to hunt.

01:35:44.000 Even if it's 10,000 acres, if there's a fence up, he's not hunting there.

01:35:48.000 He will hunt wild land, mostly public land, but it has to be a wild animal.

01:35:55.000 And one of the things that we're trying to figure out is something we could do together.

01:35:59.000 My thought of what we can do together is take people who have never hunted before hunting, like Honey Honey.

01:36:05.000 Dude, I'm so down for that.

01:36:06.000 Are you down? 0.98

01:36:08.000 Would you like to hunt something ugly that people aren't really into, like pigs first? 0.99

01:36:13.000 It's a good one. 0.99

01:36:15.000 We heard that there's some crazy...

01:36:16.000 I love bacon.

01:36:18.000 I got a place.

01:36:19.000 And these dudes, there's like a culture of dudes up there who go out knife hunting boars.

01:36:24.000 I'm not going to force you guys to do that.

01:36:25.000 I'm not interested in that either.

01:36:27.000 Okay, that's fine.

01:36:28.000 But there's a place called Tejon Ranch, and we have a relationship with them, and they're only an hour and a half north of here.

01:36:33.000 Oh my gosh.

01:36:33.000 It's the biggest ranch in California.

01:36:36.000 270,000 acres. 1.00

01:36:38.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:36:38.000 And they have 50,000 pigs. 1.00

01:36:40.000 Oh my god. 0.77

01:36:41.000 It's insane. 0.99

01:36:42.000 They're infested with pigs. 0.97

01:36:43.000 So wait, what is our weapon of choice?

01:36:46.000 Are we bow and arrow?

01:36:47.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:36:48.000 Are we rifling?

01:36:48.000 It takes a long time to get good with a bow and arrow.

01:36:51.000 Like hundreds and hundreds of...

01:36:52.000 We're good to know how long we've been.

01:36:54.000 I have a bow and arrow hunt scheduled for June.

01:36:56.000 I show stars.

01:36:57.000 One of the reasons... 1.00

01:36:59.000 Dude, if you killed a fucking wild pig with a shooting star, you'd be my new hero. 1.00

01:37:03.000 I wouldn't suck your dick, but I'd let you lay it on my forehead and take a picture. 1.00

01:37:06.000 That's fine. 1.00

01:37:07.000 I'd probably get me there, to be honest.

01:37:10.000 You must train. 0.99

01:37:12.000 But it's really hard to fucking... 1.00

01:37:14.000 It's really hard to shoot a pig with a bow and arrow. 1.00

01:37:16.000 I'm sure. 0.99

01:37:17.000 With a throwing knife, it's virtually impossible.

01:37:19.000 With a star, goddammit, you're talking fantasy.

01:37:22.000 But with a rifle, we can get the job done.

01:37:24.000 With a rifle, it's not hard at all.

01:37:26.000 We've shot some rifles.

01:37:27.000 Mm-hmm.

01:37:28.000 You need a really good hunting rifle and a good guide, but this place, Tejon Ranch, is, like I said, an hour and a half north of L.A., and it's enormous.

01:37:37.000 And it's all wild.

01:37:38.000 Oh, my God.

01:37:38.000 There's no fences.

01:37:39.000 It's just a huge piece of property that these animals congregate on.

01:37:42.000 So do you hunt at night?

01:37:42.000 No, during the day.

01:37:43.000 Okay.

01:37:44.000 It's illegal to hunt at night.

01:37:45.000 Oh, is it?

01:37:46.000 Yeah.

01:37:46.000 And hard to see also.

01:37:47.000 I just thought I'd create another challenge.

01:37:49.000 Well, you can use night vision.

01:37:49.000 Night vision?

01:37:49.000 Did you go night vision on that shit?

01:37:50.000 In Texas, they do. 1.00

01:37:51.000 That's crazy.

01:37:52.000 I've never actually hunted. 0.99

01:37:54.000 I've been thinking about it, though, honestly, because I started eating meat again, and I just realized, like, if I'm willing to take this shit shrink-wrapped from a freezer in a store, I need to be okay with killing this. 0.98

01:38:05.000 Well, while we speak, I have a ham that's brining that I shot a couple of months ago. 0.98

01:38:10.000 Did you really? 0.97

01:38:11.000 I shot a pig, yeah. 1.00

01:38:11.000 Holy shit, Joe, that's amazing. 1.00

01:38:13.000 At Tejon Ranch. 1.00

01:38:14.000 Wow.

01:38:14.000 I shot that deer, too, that head right in front of you.

01:38:17.000 It's beautiful!

01:38:19.000 I would put that on my wall.

01:38:20.000 It was slightly more beautiful when it was wandering around, but way more delicious after it's boned out.

01:38:25.000 Did you bleach it and do all that?

01:38:27.000 No, I brought it to a guy who does that professionally, and they take the brains out and bleach it down. 0.66

01:38:33.000 You don't want to keep some stinky brains. 0.97

01:38:35.000 Yeah, that's pretty gross. 0.98

01:38:36.000 You know how they do it?

01:38:37.000 They use a type of bug that they use to clean off cadaver bones.

01:38:43.000 It's called a super worm.

01:38:45.000 I know about this because we actually fed it to people on Fear Factor.

01:38:49.000 I did know that! 1.00

01:38:50.000 Oh man, that's fucked up. 0.99

01:38:52.000 It's pretty dope. 0.99

01:38:53.000 It takes a while, too.

01:38:54.000 They leave the skull with these superworms for quite a while, and they just go to work, and they chew off every single ounce of flesh.

01:39:02.000 You take the skull, you put it into...

01:39:04.000 How long does that take?

01:39:05.000 I don't know.

01:39:06.000 I think it takes a few weeks.

01:39:08.000 The worms eat.

01:39:09.000 No, but I mean, so then they have this skull.

01:39:10.000 They move on to the next skull. 0.99

01:39:12.000 Then the next guy's got a fucking loose head. 0.99

01:39:14.000 So they have their superworm 18 that just goes from cadaver to cadaver? 0.99

01:39:17.000 Well, there's this thing that they do where you can get a head mounted after you shoot a deer, like a trophy.

01:39:24.000 You can get it mounted, and they take it, and they put glass eyes in it, and they leave the skin on, and they do a taxidermy thing, which is a little odd.

01:39:35.000 So where were you when you shot this guy?

01:39:37.000 This guy?

01:39:38.000 Which one?

01:39:39.000 This guy right here.

01:39:41.000 Oh, the predator?

01:39:43.000 That's a friend of mine's buddy.

01:39:44.000 I got him tickets for the UFC. I wish I could remember his name off the top of my head.

01:39:49.000 I want to say Steve.

01:39:50.000 He's a special effects guy.

01:39:52.000 And the guy, Pat McGee, did the American Werewolf that's out in the front area.

01:40:01.000 You're going to be going up against those.

01:40:03.000 Alaska?

01:40:04.000 No.

01:40:05.000 You know what?

01:40:06.000 This show, Meat Eater, they know exactly what they're doing.

01:40:10.000 They know where to go.

01:40:11.000 You're always going to deal with bears, but you just have to make sure that you scare them off and keep an eye on them.

01:40:17.000 And there's a lot of guys with guns.

01:40:18.000 You don't want to hurt the bears, but you don't want the bears stealing your caribou.

01:40:22.000 You've got to be real careful. 0.96

01:40:23.000 Well, it's not even fucking, what is that, 20 worst pieces of terrible taxidermy? 0.95

01:40:29.000 Yeah, there's like cross-eyed. 0.99

01:40:31.000 That's fucking Look at that puma. 0.99

01:40:34.000 That puma came near me. 1.00

01:40:35.000 Hello.

01:40:35.000 Hey.

01:40:36.000 Hey, man.

01:40:37.000 You know where the bus stop is?

01:40:40.000 Oh, that's awful. 0.98

01:40:40.000 What the hell? 0.98

01:40:41.000 Oh, man. 0.97

01:40:42.000 Yeah.

01:40:43.000 That is weird.

01:40:44.000 Look at that cat.

01:40:45.000 That is weird.

01:40:46.000 Some people mix them together, too.

01:40:48.000 Suzanne, when you get back, we're going to sing some songs.

01:40:50.000 Oh, yeah.

01:40:51.000 Yeah, sure.

01:40:52.000 Look at that. 1.00

01:40:54.000 That's a guy who shot the front legs out with a fucking missile. 1.00

01:40:59.000 That is weird. 0.99

01:41:00.000 Hey, guys!

01:41:04.000 I mean, it's a weird thing.

01:41:06.000 I would never shoot an animal just to make a trophy out of it.

01:41:08.000 Never.

01:41:09.000 In a million years.

01:41:10.000 But if I found an animal in my backyard and it was dangerous and I shot it and they said, do you want to make a trophy out of it? 1.00

01:41:17.000 I'd be like, fuck yeah. 0.99

01:41:19.000 It's all about context. 1.00

01:41:20.000 That wolf is ridiculous. 0.97

01:41:23.000 Hi, guys. 0.97

01:41:24.000 Here for the party.

01:41:26.000 Do you know that there's a concern right now that wolves might eventually start to re-emerge in Paris?

01:41:32.000 I've not heard that.

01:41:33.000 They're starting to make their way closer and closer towards Paris, and they're really worried right now that there might be a moment in the somewhat near future when wolves once again are in Paris.

01:41:44.000 How are they going to last?

01:41:45.000 Well, that's the crazy thing, man.

01:41:47.000 They just get moved down.

01:41:47.000 They kill people.

01:41:48.000 Wolves killed like 40 people in Paris in the 1400s. 1.00

01:41:52.000 Shit. 1.00

01:41:53.000 Yeah, it's like a famous incident. 0.99

01:41:55.000 I'll pull it up right now.

01:41:57.000 The Wolves of Paris.

01:41:58.000 There's a few books about it also. 0.99

01:42:00.000 Yeah, it's fucking scary as shit, dude. 0.98

01:42:01.000 I mean, is that where American Werewolf in Paris comes from? 0.99

01:42:04.000 No.

01:42:05.000 That's because the American Werewolf in London needed a sequel.

01:42:08.000 Look at this cover!

01:42:11.000 That's a beautiful little cutie pie.

01:42:14.000 And I love wolves. 1.00

01:42:15.000 People are like, oh, you're fucking, you want to kill all the wolves. 1.00

01:42:18.000 I don't. 1.00

01:42:19.000 I love wolves.

01:42:20.000 Don't get me wrong.

01:42:21.000 I love wolves out there being all wolfy. 0.99

01:42:24.000 My problem is when wolves come anywhere near people I care about, I want them dead! 1.00

01:42:30.000 I want their family dead! 1.00

01:42:33.000 Who's the shirtless dude? 1.00

01:42:34.000 Wolves in Paris. 0.99

01:42:36.000 The other guy's got a little tiny little coyote dick he's trying to pass off as a wolf. 0.98

01:42:42.000 Wolves of Paris. 0.99

01:42:43.000 Is that his band or his book?

01:42:45.000 I think it's a book.

01:42:47.000 It's a sequel to Fifty Shades of Purple that comes out after Fifty Shades of Grey. 0.99

01:42:52.000 They run out of shit to talk about with colors, so they go with animals. 0.98

01:42:55.000 Wolves of Paris. 1.00

01:42:57.000 When I was in Paris, he had a wolf amulet on.

01:43:01.000 He ball gagged me.

01:43:03.000 Yeah, so you missed a lot.

01:43:07.000 In Paris, in 1450, 40 human beings were killed by wolves.

01:43:12.000 Jesus!

01:43:13.000 Yeah, we were talking about wolves.

01:43:16.000 No, regular wolves.

01:43:18.000 There's an issue right now where wolves are getting closer and closer to Paris, and they're worried about wolves re-emerging in Paris because they have very strict environmental...

01:43:27.000 Present day?

01:43:27.000 Yes.

01:43:28.000 Really?

01:43:29.000 Yeah, they have very strict environmental rules.

01:43:33.000 As far as animals you're allowed to kill and not kill, and wolves...

01:43:37.000 What kind of wolves?

01:43:38.000 Like the regular kind?

01:43:40.000 Like timber wolves?

01:43:41.000 Well, there's really only one kind of wolf.

01:43:45.000 I got explained that by this guy Steve Rinella that I do this hunting show with. 0.98

01:43:50.000 Like pigs. 0.99

01:43:51.000 There's only one kind of pig. 0.99

01:43:53.000 When you talk about wild pigs, there is literally only one type of pig.

01:43:57.000 Wild or domestic is the same thing.

01:43:59.000 It's called suscroffa.

01:44:00.000 That's the type of animal.

01:44:02.000 Okay.

01:44:03.000 I didn't know that.

01:44:04.000 But wolves, same thing.

01:44:06.000 There's just wolves.

01:44:07.000 Gray wolf, timber wolf.

01:44:08.000 It's essentially like the difference between human beings.

01:44:12.000 There's human beings that live in Jamaica.

01:44:14.000 There's human beings that live in Tennessee.

01:44:16.000 Different colors, what have you.

01:44:17.000 But they're just human beings.

01:44:18.000 That's it.

01:44:18.000 Bus sizes.

01:44:19.000 Exactly. 0.99

01:44:20.000 They have bigger dicks. 1.00

01:44:23.000 Wolves, that was one of the issues with wolves that were brought in from Canada. 0.97

01:44:28.000 Because they brought in wolves to Canada and they repopulated Yellowstone.

01:44:33.000 Yeah, really?

01:44:34.000 Yeah, and a lot of other places.

01:44:35.000 Did we play that, Jamie?

01:44:36.000 We did play that.

01:44:37.000 Wolves change rivers.

01:44:38.000 Did we play that?

01:44:39.000 Mm-hmm.

01:44:39.000 Yeah, we did.

01:44:40.000 There's a great documentary for those who have not seen it.

01:44:43.000 It's called Wolves Change the Course of Rivers in Yellowstone.

01:44:48.000 And it's amazing.

01:44:50.000 And it's fascinating how just the reintroduction of wolves to...

01:44:56.000 Yellowstone National Park has actually changed the way the rivers flow. 1.00

01:45:00.000 It's fucking incredible shit. 0.99

01:45:02.000 I'm not anti-wolf. 1.00

01:45:03.000 I'm not anti-anything.

01:45:04.000 I am not anti... 0.99

01:45:05.000 I talk shit, okay? 0.98

01:45:07.000 I don't mean what I say. 0.99

01:45:08.000 People need to understand that.

01:45:09.000 I'm really happy to know that the wolves are repopulating.

01:45:12.000 I'm not. 1.00

01:45:13.000 I hope they die in a fire. 1.00

01:45:14.000 Wolves are one of my spirit animals. 1.00

01:45:15.000 Cunty little shitty dogs that want to eat babies. 1.00

01:45:19.000 You say that unless you were alone with a wolf. 1.00

01:45:21.000 I am a lone wolf, don't you know?

01:45:23.000 You're like Chuck Norris and Lone Wolf McQuaid.

01:45:29.000 I have an affinity for birds of prey and wolves and things like that.

01:45:33.000 Have you ever met an eagle in the wild?

01:45:35.000 No, but I would freak out.

01:45:38.000 I love them so much.

01:45:39.000 What's so funny?

01:45:41.000 Have you ever met an eagle in the wild?

01:45:43.000 I can't wait until the day.

01:45:44.000 I know it's going to happen one day.

01:45:46.000 Are you going to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

01:45:48.000 I have.

01:45:48.000 I sure have.

01:45:49.000 I will say no more.

01:45:51.000 An eagle in the wild is very different than an eagle that's in a zoo.

01:45:54.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:45:55.000 I've never seen an eagle in the wild.

01:45:56.000 I've seen many flying around. 1.00

01:45:58.000 Fucking Brian. 0.99

01:45:59.000 Growing up. 1.00

01:45:59.000 Mocking my work. 1.00

01:46:00.000 I have a lot of family in Minnesota.

01:46:02.000 They don't have eagles in Minnesota.

01:46:03.000 Are you kidding me?

01:46:04.000 They call themselves eagles.

01:46:06.000 Come on, Rogan. 1.00

01:46:07.000 They're like gang members in fucking Irvine. 0.99

01:46:10.000 That's like the eagle capital. 0.99

01:46:11.000 I don't think it's the eagle capital.

01:46:13.000 I was in Alaska with Ari Shafir.

01:46:16.000 We went salmon fishing.

01:46:18.000 We saw a bunch of eagles. 0.98

01:46:19.000 It was fucking freaky. 0.99

01:46:21.000 Did you call any to your arm, your outstretched arm? 0.99

01:46:26.000 Oh, there's none of that going on, dude. 0.99

01:46:28.000 They'll eat your face. 0.96

01:46:29.000 The only thing they're looking at you is like, can I carry this guy away? 0.87

01:46:33.000 Hmm, too big. 1.00

01:46:35.000 If you were a baby, they would fucking eat your asshole. 1.00

01:46:41.000 Eagles are essentially dinosaurs that made it. 1.00

01:46:44.000 That's all they are.

01:46:45.000 What do you think about the Oculus Rift app purchased by Facebook?

01:46:49.000 Isn't that great?

01:46:49.000 Amazing.

01:46:50.000 I'm very fucking excited about that, actually.

01:46:52.000 I'm just excited that there's more financial resources behind the process of Oculus Rift. 0.89

01:46:58.000 Rather, not the process, the technology.

01:47:01.000 Yeah.

01:47:03.000 Facebook seems cool.

01:47:05.000 One of the things we were talking about recently that I find very encouraging about this new tech money is that these guys, whether it's the Google people or the Facebook people, they seem ethical.

01:47:21.000 You know, they seem, they're making a shitload of money, but their intentions seem fairly pure.

01:47:28.000 Yeah, and it's gotten more serious just from this purchase, where before it was still kind of like, you know, not many people knew about it.

01:47:35.000 Not a fringy.

01:47:35.000 Yeah, now it's, you know, everyone's going to know about this in a couple years, so I think it's good.

01:47:40.000 I couldn't agree more.

01:47:41.000 I couldn't agree more. 1.00

01:47:42.000 I love that fucking Zuckerberg fucking weirdo. 1.00

01:47:45.000 Yeah, I think he's beautiful. 1.00

01:47:46.000 I'll give him a kiss right in the mouth if he's in the room.

01:47:48.000 You have a Facebook page, Joe?

01:47:50.000 I do.

01:47:50.000 I have a fan page.

01:47:52.000 I can't respond to emails, so please don't.

01:47:56.000 I just can't get into the habit.

01:47:58.000 Not to you.

01:47:58.000 I'm not saying that to you.

01:47:59.000 I'm saying that to other people.

01:48:00.000 Please don't, Ben. 0.99

01:48:01.000 I'm tired of your fucking emailing me, dude. 0.99

01:48:03.000 Joe, what are you doing now? 1.00

01:48:04.000 Shut up! 1.00

01:48:05.000 Are you hunting now? 1.00

01:48:05.000 There's no way. 1.00

01:48:06.000 It's impossible.

01:48:07.000 Let me show you my knife.

01:48:08.000 Is that a euphemism?

01:48:11.000 Do I have to?

01:48:13.000 Let me show you my blade.

01:48:15.000 Show you my pocket knife.

01:48:16.000 Why, it's shaped like an elephant's trunk.

01:48:20.000 It's dull, but it'll cut your soul.

01:48:24.000 Effective.

01:48:25.000 Vaguely effective.

01:48:28.000 What are you guys going to play?

01:48:29.000 Oh, sorry.

01:48:30.000 We're going to play a song called Big Man.

01:48:31.000 My Good Friends, the only band I've ever worked with ever in real life.

01:48:37.000 What are you going to play?

01:48:37.000 Big Man?

01:48:40.000 That's the song we're going to play.

01:48:42.000 Oh yeah, Real Life.

01:48:43.000 When are you going to play with us, Joe?

01:48:44.000 When are you going to play some drums?

01:48:45.000 I feel like you could get some drums together.

01:48:47.000 I want to just watch.

01:48:48.000 I don't do too many things.

01:48:50.000 I'm not playing any drums.

01:48:52.000 Supergroup.

01:48:53.000 Bet you're playing mean skin flute. 0.95

01:48:55.000 Words.

01:48:56.000 Come on. 1.00

01:48:58.000 The penis. 1.00

01:49:00.000 Obvious here. 1.00

01:49:02.000 Is this okay, guys?

01:49:05.000 Hit it.

01:49:05.000 Let it go.

01:49:06.000 Where are these?

01:49:07.000 Hey, hey, hey! 0.55

01:49:08.000 How's that work?

01:49:38.000 Oh, how they cried when the big men died.

01:49:44.000 They spilled buckets out their eyes.

01:49:53.000 Playing white faces and playing grey stones.

01:50:00.000 He took that white cocaine up.

01:50:29.000 When he went down, there was a trembling pull.

01:50:39.000 Then they came far and wide to the funeral.

01:50:46.000 When the people showed up, they were broken willed.

01:50:53.000 They drank all day and For that big man, baby Down by the river and the railroad tracks Baby ain't happy that he's gone But now I won't bring him back to life now I

01:51:45.000 think?

01:51:55.000 You can cry your head off, baby Let it roll right off your bones It's all part of some big plan, maybe But no one should ever die long No one should ever die long Bones buried young Bones buried deep

01:52:25.000 Bones that won't shake Now lay to sleep And he looks down Oh, he looks up He was a good man That was enough Sing for that big man, 0.99

01:52:53.000 baby Down by the river and the railroad tracks Baby ain't happy that he's gone That won't bring him back to life now Sing for that big man, baby Down by the river and the railroad tracks Baby ain't happy that he's gone That won't bring him back to life now God damn! 0.99

01:53:21.000 That was fucking awesome. 0.99

01:53:24.000 I thought it was awesome. 0.98

01:53:25.000 That's a beautiful song. 1.00

01:53:27.000 Shit. 1.00

01:53:28.000 Thanks. 0.99

01:53:29.000 Is that one of the ones that's going to be in the new special?

01:53:32.000 Yeah, that's what we're shooting for.

01:53:34.000 Do you guys have a name?

01:53:35.000 For the record?

01:53:36.000 For the record?

01:53:37.000 No.

01:53:38.000 No?

01:53:39.000 Not yet, but we're open to ideas.

01:53:41.000 But, you know, can I be honest?

01:53:43.000 We're really...

01:53:45.000 We're working with a new dude this weekend.

01:53:47.000 That's why we're here.

01:53:48.000 A new producer?

01:53:49.000 Yeah, and we're really, really honored and excited that he really wants to work with us.

01:53:54.000 And it's kind of, sort of like a trial run.

01:53:56.000 So fingers crossed, he's our guy.

01:53:59.000 Awesome.

01:53:59.000 Yeah.

01:54:00.000 But it's fucking hard. 0.98

01:54:02.000 Listen, I know it is. 0.98

01:54:05.000 It's easy for me to say I know it's hard, but I've watched you guys.

01:54:09.000 I at least know from observing your struggle, and I have friends that are musicians, and I have friends like Everlast who's made it, and friends who are still struggling.

01:54:21.000 I know it's a crazy business.

01:54:23.000 It ain't easy. 1.00

01:54:24.000 You know, but you guys are talented as fuck, and I'll buy your shit all day. 1.00

01:54:28.000 You know, I'm honored to be friends with you guys, but if I wasn't friends with you guys, I would buy the fucking shit out of your music. 1.00

01:54:35.000 I love it. 0.99

01:54:36.000 I became a fan when I saw that Angel of Death acoustic version that you guys did on a roof somewhere.

01:54:44.000 Here in L.A., back in the Disneyland.

01:54:46.000 It's so cool that you can find someone like that.

01:54:50.000 I can see you guys on this video.

01:54:52.000 And then we can connect.

01:54:52.000 Yeah, and then all of a sudden we're hanging.

01:54:54.000 We're friends.

01:54:55.000 It's awesome.

01:54:56.000 We live in awesome times, man.

01:54:57.000 It's just beautiful.

01:54:58.000 It's beautiful.

01:54:59.000 And there was no middleman.

01:55:00.000 We all made that happen together, you know?

01:55:03.000 Just great. 0.98

01:55:04.000 It's fucking incredible. 0.90

01:55:06.000 That's what's been happening more and more, too, is being able to just talk to the people who are supporting us. 0.90

01:55:11.000 Why don't we do a Honey Honey podcast?

01:55:13.000 Why don't you guys start doing a podcast? 1.00

01:55:15.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

01:55:18.000 Talking to the mic. 1.00

01:55:20.000 Yeah, especially when you guys are on the road, you could just put two mics and do it in a hotel room.

01:55:26.000 Like, Suzanne, I saw that little thing you did where you were interviewing the cat. 1.00

01:55:31.000 Shut the fuck up! 1.00

01:55:33.000 I saw that! 1.00

01:55:33.000 Bruce Wayne! 1.00

01:55:34.000 Yeah, I saw you interviewing the cat.

01:55:36.000 That's my little homeboy.

01:55:37.000 That was before we ever met. 1.00

01:55:37.000 We got some ridiculous shit. 1.00

01:55:39.000 We used to do some fun stuff. 1.00

01:55:40.000 We should fucking do that again. 0.95

01:55:42.000 Before we ever met, I saw that. 0.98

01:55:44.000 And I was like, these are like some really genuine people.

01:55:47.000 I'm like, you guys are cool.

01:55:48.000 Because I think there's a weird thing that everyone does, including me, who's met...

01:55:52.000 I've met a lot of people that are on television or a lot of people that are...

01:55:56.000 You know, artists or, you know, musicians or actors or comedians or whatever.

01:56:00.000 I met a lot of people with varied responses.

01:56:03.000 It's like sometimes you meet them and you're bummed out that you met them. 0.67

01:56:06.000 And then sometimes you meet them and you're like, wow, these people are pretty fucking badass.

01:56:10.000 I get kind of squeamish when there's somebody I really, really like and I know I'm going to meet them.

01:56:14.000 Yeah.

01:56:15.000 Like with Cheryl, I was like, oh God.

01:56:17.000 Please be nice. 0.71

01:56:18.000 Which turned out to be fucking awesome, you know? 0.81

01:56:19.000 Yeah.

01:56:19.000 And sometimes you just have to like...

01:56:23.000 Yeah.

01:56:23.000 You have to sort of just accept, like sometimes the musicians or actors or whatever, you love their work, and then they turn out to be a douche.

01:56:30.000 You could still love their work.

01:56:31.000 It's just, you know, you have to separate it, you know?

01:56:34.000 Yeah, and it's not saying that they have to be that way either.

01:56:37.000 It's just, it's also saying that...

01:56:40.000 If you meet a guy or a girl and they're just extraordinarily talented but incredibly troubled, you've got to realize that there's like a balance going on with human beings.

01:56:50.000 There's this weird balance and it doesn't always work out right.

01:56:54.000 You know what's interesting though?

01:56:56.000 It's shifting a lot more.

01:56:57.000 You know, you get people like Jimmy Fallon, who are these, like, I love Jimmy Fallon.

01:57:01.000 He's a sweetie. 0.98

01:57:02.000 He's creating this realm of, like, joy, comedy, like, brilliant shit, you know? 0.98

01:57:09.000 And, like, he's got this, like, great childhood, like, this great family he loves. 0.98

01:57:14.000 Well, he seems like a sweet guy, too.

01:57:15.000 Yeah, and I think there's room for that. 0.98

01:57:18.000 You don't have to be fucked up to be an artist anymore, you know? 0.98

01:57:21.000 And you never really did. 0.99

01:57:23.000 Are you calling Jimmy Fallon an artist? 1.00

01:57:24.000 You gotta slow the fucking horse down. 1.00

01:57:26.000 Are you kidding me? 1.00

01:57:26.000 That guy's a shit. 1.00

01:57:28.000 Of course he's an artist. 1.00

01:57:29.000 Nobody does a better Neil Young impression than Jimmy Fallon.

01:57:32.000 Well, I also think that he's probably, I mean, he's probably one of the best talk show hosts ever.

01:57:37.000 He really cares.

01:57:38.000 You can just tell.

01:57:39.000 He is a genuine guy.

01:57:40.000 There's this coming off of him.

01:57:42.000 He seems like a genuinely nice guy.

01:57:44.000 And so is Jimmy Kimmel, by the way.

01:57:46.000 Jimmy Kimmel is a genuinely nice guy.

01:57:48.000 He's a sweetheart.

01:57:50.000 I heard someone said something about Jimmy Kimmel. 0.99

01:57:52.000 He was a dick to Rob Ford. 0.99

01:57:55.000 Okay, come on, man. 1.00

01:57:57.000 The guy's fucking the Toronto mayor, and he smokes crack. 0.99

01:58:01.000 If you only have seven minutes with that guy, I'm sorry, but we gotta get down to business. 1.00

01:58:06.000 I can't allow you to fucking talk about your favorite football team for six minutes and then, hey, what about that crack thing? 0.93

01:58:12.000 We gotta get busy right away. 1.00

01:58:14.000 And if it looks like I'm being a dick, I'm so sorry, but you smoke crack. 1.00

01:58:19.000 You're the fucking mayor of Toronto, son! 1.00

01:58:21.000 Come on, you gotta give up a certain amount of decorum when you're addressing such issues. 1.00

01:58:25.000 Yeah, you gotta hand it to Jimmy Kimmel where he interviewed Jay Leno after the night show swap.

01:58:30.000 I thought that was incredible, man.

01:58:31.000 Well, you know what, man? 0.99

01:58:33.000 Jimmy Kimmel let Jay Leno know what the fuck is up. 0.99

01:58:35.000 That's what he did. 1.00

01:58:36.000 Yeah, you gotta hand it to somebody who's gonna, like, have the balls to go to real town, you know?

01:58:40.000 My only problem with that is that Jay Leno was also being sort of, in a sense, enabled or thrust into that situation by the network.

01:58:49.000 Because the network, why would the network change everything around if they didn't want to?

01:58:55.000 I mean, like, why are you getting upset? 0.92

01:58:56.000 Like, if Conan O'Brien went into that position and then all of a sudden the fucking show exploded and became this monster mega-hit that everybody thought it would be... 0.94

01:59:13.000 Yeah, I think it's awkward.

01:59:28.000 Like, the battle between, you know, this guy and that guy, and they're gonna, who's the best, and like that, you see that talk show war show with Letterman and Jay Leno, where it shows how Letterman and Jay Leno were, like, battling with each other, and Letterman always wanted to do the Tonight Show.

01:59:45.000 Late Night, I think.

01:59:46.000 What was it called, Late Night?

01:59:47.000 I think it was called Late Night.

01:59:48.000 And Jay Leno hid in the closet and heard these NBC executives plotting against him while he was in the closet.

01:59:55.000 Are you serious?

01:59:56.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:59:56.000 So he knew what to say to them.

01:59:58.000 He knew how to fuck with them, to let them know. 0.99

02:00:01.000 So he did a bug sweep of the room to try to find the bug. 1.00

02:00:04.000 He was hiding in the closet.

02:00:06.000 Hilarious, really.

02:00:07.000 But...

02:00:08.000 It doesn't seem like that's the right way to do it.

02:00:12.000 And I like that what Jimmy Kimmel did was stand up for another talk show host. 0.99

02:00:17.000 And just say the shit that everyone was thinking. 0.99

02:00:20.000 I just like it when that happens with public. 0.99

02:00:22.000 I just love that he decided that it was something that he wanted to do.

02:00:25.000 I love that he's so strongly in support Of Conan that he decided to show solidarity in his interview with Jay Leno.

02:00:35.000 You use this word genuine a bunch of times.

02:00:38.000 I think that's like the fucking nucleus of all this stuff, like of the podcast, of your genuine conversations and your genuine messages and stuff like that.

02:00:47.000 There's a lot of interesting things happening like Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. 0.88

02:00:51.000 Yeah.

02:00:52.000 And you get somebody who's not afraid to speak the truth. 1.00

02:00:54.000 That's really powerful shit. 1.00

02:00:56.000 Well, yeah. 1.00

02:00:58.000 Both of them.

02:01:00.000 Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel.

02:01:01.000 I think you have the sense that they like themselves.

02:01:04.000 They're happy with who they are.

02:01:06.000 They're not dissatisfied.

02:01:08.000 And they should.

02:01:09.000 Everybody should. 1.00

02:01:10.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:01:10.000 Everybody should. 1.00

02:01:11.000 For sure. 0.97

02:01:12.000 But Jimmy Kimmel, when I took over the Man Show with Doug Stanhope, he could have been a total dick about that. 0.97

02:01:18.000 Easily. 0.97

02:01:19.000 He could have been rude.

02:01:20.000 He could have made fun of us.

02:01:21.000 And it didn't turn out well.

02:01:22.000 It turned out to be a disaster.

02:01:24.000 I didn't know that he had a bad relationship with the people that were producing it.

02:01:29.000 They had real issues.

02:01:31.000 Legal issues, issues over content, issues over ownership. 0.99

02:01:36.000 There was a lot of bullshit that went down, apparently. 0.98

02:01:38.000 I don't know the real roots behind it, but I didn't know that. 0.98

02:01:41.000 I thought these guys just didn't want to do it anymore, and now we can do it.

02:01:44.000 And I didn't talk to them about it, but he was never a dick about it, not even a little bit.

02:01:49.000 He sent me an email, was very friendly about it. 0.93

02:01:54.000 The possibility to be a douchebag was there, and he would have been right.

02:01:59.000 And he chose not to do it. 0.89

02:02:01.000 He would have been right. 0.96

02:02:01.000 But he wouldn't have even been a douchebag. 0.96

02:02:04.000 He would just make it something that it wasn't.

02:02:08.000 I've always respected that guy, but I've respected him even more because of that.

02:02:12.000 Because if I was in his position, I might make fun of me. 0.81

02:02:15.000 I might be shitty to me.

02:02:17.000 And when I did his show, he was super cool after the fact.

02:02:21.000 I apologize to him for doing a shitty version of the Man Show.

02:02:25.000 But there was no animosity.

02:02:28.000 He's just a good guy.

02:02:30.000 You can tell that.

02:02:31.000 That somehow or another gets through the TV. It gets through the wires.

02:02:35.000 It reaches you.

02:02:37.000 Somehow or another it gets in there.

02:02:39.000 And I don't know how much of that you can fake.

02:02:41.000 You know, you can fake something.

02:02:44.000 You can fake a smidgen, a smidge here or there.

02:02:48.000 But a genuine niceness, like that Jimmy Fallon exudes. 1.00

02:02:52.000 Damn, I don't know if an asshole knows how to do that, you know? 1.00

02:02:55.000 I don't know if an asshole knows how to hit that frequency. 1.00

02:02:59.000 Did you guys see the video of them, of U2 and Jimmy Fallon on the opening night? 1.00

02:03:05.000 No.

02:03:06.000 Oh my god.

02:03:07.000 Listen, one of the most transformative moments of my life over the last year was falling asleep on the couch.

02:03:15.000 You know, whatever.

02:03:17.000 I worked out, I had something to eat, and I was sitting on the couch.

02:03:20.000 And a lot of times, I watched like...

02:03:23.000 I watched, like, bow hunting shows, or I watched MMA fights. 1.00

02:03:28.000 I'm a fucking caveman. 1.00

02:03:29.000 If you came over and looked at my DVR, you'd be like, what the fuck is going on here? 1.00

02:03:33.000 I just like what I like, okay? 0.97

02:03:35.000 I'm not judging myself.

02:03:36.000 But I fell asleep.

02:03:38.000 And I woke up, and it was the premiere of the Jimmy Fallon first season, first episode of The Tonight Show.

02:03:46.000 And as I woke up, U2 was singing the acapella version of Ordinary Love, or acoustic version, rather, of Ordinary Love.

02:03:56.000 And, Jamie, pull it up.

02:03:58.000 Is that from the Frozen soundtrack?

02:04:00.000 U2 on Ha Ha Ha.

02:04:02.000 Is it, though?

02:04:03.000 No.

02:04:04.000 Listen.

02:04:06.000 It's a brilliant new song from U2. But it's not just that it's brilliant.

02:04:09.000 It's one of those moments where you're watching in Bono. 0.99

02:04:15.000 You're watching just a fucking brilliant artist. 0.99

02:04:19.000 Say what you want about that guy. 0.99

02:04:21.000 Say what you want about his political ties and his charitable causes and his sunglasses indoors at night.

02:04:29.000 Say what you want about that guy. 1.00

02:04:30.000 That guy is a bad motherfucker. 0.99

02:04:33.000 And whatever it is out there that makes things great, whatever it is where you're watching Pink singing while she's spiraling around over an audience and never losing tune and knowing that it's completely live, or whether it's Bono sitting on that fucking couch and you two behind him playing and Jimmy Fallon is sitting there and Will Smith is sitting there and It's so undeniably brilliant that I 1.00

02:05:03.000 woke up from a nap sitting on the couch to woke up just in time for them to be joking around and then go into that song.

02:05:13.000 Like, the universe wanted me to see this. 0.98

02:05:17.000 It's fucking perfect. 0.98

02:05:19.000 It's a perfect moment of entertainment. 0.99

02:05:21.000 It has perfect music.

02:05:24.000 It has a perfect response.

02:05:26.000 It has a perfect moment being the premiere of Jimmy Fallon's version of The Tonight Show.

02:05:33.000 It has perfect being one of the greatest actors ever.

02:05:37.000 Will Smith is sitting there. 0.99

02:05:39.000 A huge fucking movie star. 1.00

02:05:42.000 People who don't think he's a badass motherfucker have never seen him play Muhammad Ali. 1.00

02:05:47.000 The audience is standing up and they're all on their feet screaming. 0.99

02:05:50.000 There's not a guy with a sign, stand up, stand up, clap, applaud.

02:05:54.000 Like if you go to those, like if you go to Tonight Shows, Chapin, at least the old ones, they used to have a guy who would tell you when to applaud.

02:06:00.000 There's like signs would light up or a guy would like hold up a sign. 0.99

02:06:03.000 That was some beautiful shit, right? 0.99

02:06:05.000 That was amazing. 0.99

02:06:06.000 And I love the roots. 0.99

02:06:07.000 God damn, I love them. 0.99

02:06:09.000 I love the band. 1.00

02:06:10.000 I love Jimmy Fallon.

02:06:11.000 But I love that moment.

02:06:13.000 That moment.

02:06:13.000 I'll never forget that.

02:06:15.000 Sitting by myself.

02:06:17.000 Gym shorts. 0.97

02:06:19.000 I'm still sweaty, like staring at the TV, and it comes on, and I'm just like, God damn, I just saw something. 0.99

02:06:27.000 I just saw a fucking shooting star. 0.99

02:06:28.000 I saw an asteroid hit. 1.00

02:06:30.000 I saw some freaky shit, you know? 0.99

02:06:32.000 I mean, that's crazier than an asteroid. 0.99

02:06:33.000 That's only happened once.

02:06:35.000 Asteroids have hit the Earth many times, you know?

02:06:37.000 I mean, how many times has there been a big hole I think?

02:07:00.000 Unless you believe in true infinity.

02:07:02.000 And that's the monkey wrench.

02:07:04.000 Because true infinity means if there is a you, that the world is what you see.

02:07:13.000 Everything exists in the exact same form.

02:07:17.000 Not only once, but infinitely.

02:07:20.000 So not only are there so many possibilities in the concept of infinity.

02:07:26.000 Infinity meaning infinite possibilities.

02:07:28.000 We can't even imagine what that means.

02:07:29.000 What that means is that everything that you've ever experienced, everything that I've ever experienced, you looking exactly like you, you looking exactly like you, you with the same creepy dude who tried to sneak you into the woods to see a fucking largemouth bass,

02:07:45.000 All of that exists in the exact same order, in the exact same form, in an infinite number of times.

02:07:53.000 So that's how crazy infinity is. 0.99

02:07:56.000 Wrap your fucking head around that. 1.00

02:07:58.000 I'm trying to. 1.00

02:07:58.000 I'm like, wait a second. 1.00

02:08:00.000 So somewhere out there, it's not just one right there.

02:08:05.000 Not only that, U2 is playing...

02:08:07.000 You're not supposed to say U2. It's like U2. I say it like U2. Shouldn't say it that way.

02:08:13.000 But U2 right now is probably playing an infinite amount of times all over the universe and at the exact same moment.

02:08:20.000 At the exact same moment, the exact same words are coming out of the exact same mouth.

02:08:25.000 That experience, everything that has ever happened, the idea of that never happening again...

02:08:30.000 Like there's something that looks exactly like you on the other side of the world?

02:08:31.000 For sure.

02:08:32.000 Not on the other side of the world, but on the other side of the universe.

02:08:34.000 The idea of everything that has ever happened being unique in comparison to the creation of the world is so preposterous. 0.50

02:08:42.000 The idea that we're so fucking important because we are able of saying We're good to go.

02:09:03.000 But how would it be possible for there to be other planets? 0.94

02:09:05.000 That's way crazier. 0.99

02:09:07.000 And there's a fucking shit ton of those, dude. 0.99

02:09:09.000 How would it be possible that there's water in space? 0.99

02:09:11.000 Oh, there's a lot of it. 1.00

02:09:12.000 In fact, that's what you're seeing when you see a comet, stupid. 1.00

02:09:15.000 You're seeing water flying off the back of that thing. 1.00

02:09:17.000 That's water! 0.99

02:09:18.000 That's a fucking Earth-sized chunk of water flying through space. 1.00

02:09:21.000 Holy shit! 1.00

02:09:23.000 You know, yeah, the whole thing is nuts. 1.00

02:09:24.000 It's not nuts that you don't exist not just once but an infinite amount of times.

02:09:28.000 That's more likely than a star.

02:09:32.000 That's more likely than a black hole. 0.99

02:09:34.000 That's more likely than just the idea of people breathing air and staying alive and fish sucking air out of water and some fucking weird contraption called gills. 0.99

02:09:45.000 That's nuts. 0.99

02:09:46.000 All of it's nuts.

02:09:47.000 The fact that it exists the same place in the same form all over the universe in an infinite amount of times in exactly the same order.

02:09:55.000 That seems like likely.

02:09:57.000 If you think how nuts it is.

02:10:00.000 That's why when you see a moment like U2 on the Jimmy Fallon show singing that song, you're witnessing a universal, unique moment.

02:10:11.000 Universal through everything, through the whole thing.

02:10:14.000 That feeling you get when you get goosebumps, the whole universe got goosebumps for that.

02:10:18.000 Well, it's interesting that you woke up for it.

02:10:20.000 It's like you're in tune with that kind of thing.

02:10:22.000 No, I got lucky.

02:10:24.000 I probably had a pee.

02:10:26.000 Fair enough.

02:10:27.000 I drank a lot of coconut water.

02:10:29.000 I drank some of that delicious C2O coconut water.

02:10:32.000 I probably had a pee.

02:10:34.000 Most likely.

02:10:35.000 But maybe not.

02:10:36.000 I mean, I'm not convinced that reality is real.

02:10:38.000 I'm not convinced you guys are even here.

02:10:40.000 We're not.

02:10:41.000 Me neither.

02:10:41.000 No, no, we're not.

02:10:42.000 All this YouTube internet stuff is kind of an approximation of it, isn't it?

02:10:46.000 Because now we can.

02:10:47.000 We just watched it again, and we're experiencing it in a different way, but that moment has been captured, and that moment can now repeat itself in our controlled medium, right?

02:10:55.000 So maybe this is us piecing together all these things that you're talking about.

02:11:00.000 I hope if you see it, the first time you see it, it's before I said anything about it to you.

02:11:05.000 The last thing I want is to flavor that moment with my own...

02:11:09.000 I think that was just a tremendous performance.

02:11:12.000 If somebody sees it and you hear me talking about it, shut it off and go watch the real thing.

02:11:17.000 If somebody puts it on YouTube, watch the real thing.

02:11:19.000 We could be flavored by something.

02:11:20.000 Might as well be flavored by Joe.

02:11:22.000 Oh, please.

02:11:23.000 Maybe salt would be better.

02:11:24.000 Salt and a little cumin.

02:11:26.000 It's really good for you.

02:11:28.000 It's anti-inflammatory.

02:11:29.000 Oh, God.

02:11:33.000 But, you know, do you guys feel those moments on stage and realize that you're tapping into something unique when that happens?

02:11:40.000 When you hit that...

02:11:42.000 You know, we were talking about it when we were playing pool.

02:11:44.000 Sometimes you just hit this weird stride where everything's just falling into place and it feels automatic.

02:11:49.000 And you know there's that moment, I'm sure, it's got to be very similar to the moment like that in comedy with your music.

02:11:59.000 There's got to be moments where you guys are just flowing.

02:12:02.000 There was a moment, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, but there was a moment where... 0.98

02:12:08.000 You were on stage, and you were singing, and it was at the December 21st show, the 2012 End of the World show, and both Joey Diaz and Eddie Bravo came off stage, and they both, at the same time, go, that's a badass bitch! 0.99

02:12:23.000 That's a badass bitch! 1.00

02:12:24.000 That's a badass bitch, Eddie Bravo! 1.00

02:12:26.000 That's a badass bitch! 1.00

02:12:27.000 Goddamn, those motherfuckers are talented! 1.00

02:12:30.000 And Eddie's like, that's a badass bitch! 1.00

02:12:32.000 Goddamn, those guys are talented! 1.00

02:12:33.000 Damn! 0.99

02:12:34.000 But it was that moment where we had never done a show with a musical act before, and a lot of my friends were skeptical. 0.98

02:12:40.000 They were like, what are you guys going to do?

02:12:42.000 How does that work together?

02:12:44.000 I go, I think the music probably shouldn't be in the middle because it would interrupt the flow of the comedy, but I think it would enhance the beginning of the comedy.

02:12:51.000 And I think, you know, so we do it this way.

02:12:53.000 And so when we did it, and you guys got on stage, it was the first time that Eddie had ever seen you guys live. 0.98

02:13:00.000 And, you know, he was like, holy shit, they're good. 0.99

02:13:03.000 He was like, the lyrics, the fucking music, the choices they made, he just was like shaking his head. 1.00

02:13:10.000 But I'll never forget that moment where they both walked off stage because they were both shaking their heads. 0.99

02:13:16.000 Because Joey was going to go on stage next and do some stand-up.

02:13:20.000 We got so lucky to be involved with this.

02:13:22.000 Well, we're lucky too.

02:13:23.000 We're all lucky. 0.99

02:13:24.000 We're lucky as shit. 0.99

02:13:27.000 This show would be completely uninteresting if it was just me talking every week. 0.99

02:13:31.000 I disagree.

02:13:32.000 I think you have a lot to say and it's very interesting.

02:13:34.000 People have heard it already. 0.99

02:13:35.000 By now I've run out of shit to say. 0.99

02:13:36.000 I repeat myself. 0.99

02:13:38.000 I don't even like listening to me anymore.

02:13:42.000 But we're all lucky, for reals.

02:13:45.000 You know, including people listening. 0.95

02:13:46.000 We're all in on this in some fucking weird way. 0.92

02:13:48.000 We're all in on this thing together. 0.76

02:13:50.000 It's just that folks like you and I and Red Band and whoever's on the mic out there, you're a part of the lightning rod. 0.98

02:13:59.000 You're part of the lightning rod that distributes all this shit, but we're all in it together. 0.96

02:14:02.000 We don't even know what we're doing. 0.99

02:14:03.000 We don't even know why we're doing it. 0.65

02:14:05.000 We just start doing it, and then somewhere along the line we realize we love it, and the next thing you know, you're singing songs, or you're telling jokes, or you're fucking making guitars, whatever it is, you know, you find that thing. 0.57

02:14:16.000 Two big teepees. 0.92

02:14:17.000 Yeah, two big teepees.

02:14:18.000 You find that weird thing out there in the world, you know, whatever it is. 0.99

02:14:23.000 And if you don't, goddamn, keep looking. 0.99

02:14:27.000 Keep looking. 1.00

02:14:28.000 This is rousing, man. 1.00

02:14:29.000 Holy shit. 0.99

02:14:30.000 I'm kind of like, really, I don't even know what to do. 0.99

02:14:31.000 I'm rousing myself up.

02:14:32.000 I don't even know if I'm honest.

02:14:36.000 This is all literature.

02:14:38.000 It's all fiction.

02:14:39.000 It's coming from the universe.

02:14:41.000 Play another song?

02:14:43.000 Yeah, sure.

02:14:43.000 I gotta, like, reacclimate myself.

02:14:45.000 Yeah, me too.

02:14:46.000 I'm a...

02:14:46.000 Do you want to play this one?

02:14:48.000 I'm trying to think.

02:14:49.000 I feel like we should play an uplifting one, but...

02:14:51.000 No, you don't have to play an uplifting one.

02:14:53.000 If you want to make the folks cry, maybe we'll have a little yin and yang.

02:14:56.000 Okay.

02:14:56.000 A peak and a high and a low.

02:14:59.000 Whatever you want.

02:15:00.000 We're gonna put some yang on. 0.94

02:15:01.000 Can I make a request?

02:15:03.000 We may not be able to fulfill it, but you can...

02:15:05.000 How dare you?

02:15:06.000 How's that not possible?

02:15:08.000 Um, will you guys play L.A. River?

02:15:20.000 That's one of the cool things about music.

02:15:23.000 You guys can take requests.

02:15:24.000 Have comedians take requests?

02:15:27.000 We haven't played this in a while.

02:15:28.000 I will really try not to mess it up. 0.95

02:15:29.000 That's just Thunder Pussy. 1.00

02:15:31.000 That kind of request is great. 0.98

02:15:59.000 Went down to the banks of the Elway River Have to hop a chain link fence Concrete walls on the L.A. River Water lapping up on the cement Oh,

02:16:21.000 but I love my new home Listen to the big city sound Watching that L.A. River roll down by the trains Dip my fingers in the warm black

02:16:51.000 water All red skin on my knees Sail my boat down the L.A. River Thought I saw a body in the leaves Oh, but I love my new home Listen to the big city sound Watchin' that L.A. While the trains pass Chinatown Listen 0.73

02:17:53.000 to the big city sound Watching that LA river roll down by the trains past Chinatown Oh shit. 1.00

02:18:25.000 We got through that one. 0.99

02:18:27.000 That was beautiful. 1.00

02:18:29.000 I love that fucking song. 1.00

02:18:31.000 That was badass. 1.00

02:18:33.000 Holy shit. 0.99

02:18:34.000 That was really cool. 1.00

02:18:37.000 Man.

02:18:39.000 I like the banjos making a comeback.

02:18:41.000 I like that.

02:18:42.000 Big time.

02:18:43.000 You know, the banjo gets thrown under the bus a lot.

02:18:46.000 What happened?

02:18:46.000 How'd the banjo get her a, you know...

02:18:48.000 The hillbillies. 1.00

02:18:49.000 Oh, those motherfuckers. 1.00

02:18:51.000 You know what? 1.00

02:18:52.000 It's okay.

02:18:52.000 I got inundated.

02:18:54.000 I like being the underdog.

02:18:55.000 I'm from Cleveland, you know?

02:18:56.000 It's like, you gotta just, you gotta come back up. 1.00

02:19:00.000 Fucking banjo. 0.99

02:19:01.000 Deep respect for Drew Carey. 1.00

02:19:03.000 Oh, man.

02:19:03.000 I met Drew Carey.

02:19:05.000 He's a great guy.

02:19:06.000 I met him at Swinger's, the diner.

02:19:09.000 Oh, okay.

02:19:10.000 Yeah, he's there like every day almost.

02:19:12.000 He's a great guy.

02:19:13.000 And I walked up to him.

02:19:14.000 I don't normally do this kind of thing, but I'm a hometown hero lover.

02:19:18.000 And I was like, Drew, my name's Suzanne.

02:19:21.000 I'm from Parma, Ohio, which is what the show was based on.

02:19:23.000 I think we talked about this on the podcast.

02:19:25.000 Yeah, did we? 0.95

02:19:25.000 And he was so fucking nice. 0.95

02:19:26.000 And he actually tweeted at us. 0.59

02:19:28.000 I threw a tweet at him, and he was super cool.

02:19:31.000 Really nice guy.

02:19:32.000 He's a sweetheart.

02:19:33.000 He's a genuine nice guy.

02:19:35.000 Yeah.

02:19:35.000 It's nice.

02:19:36.000 Nice when you run into people that are genuinely nice.

02:19:38.000 It's cool, you know? 1.00

02:19:39.000 And when they're not, fuck them. 1.00

02:19:42.000 Maybe you caught them on a bad day, too. 1.00

02:19:44.000 You can't really judge somebody.

02:19:45.000 Could be.

02:19:46.000 Could be.

02:19:47.000 We've all been there.

02:19:48.000 Yeah.

02:19:48.000 We've all been there.

02:19:50.000 You guys gonna move back to LA? Come on.

02:19:52.000 I want to.

02:19:53.000 We need to make this record and then make some more dope. 1.00

02:19:57.000 Make some more cash.

02:19:59.000 Make it rain.

02:19:59.000 You know what I was thinking though, when you were talking about the banjo, I remember about Nashville.

02:20:03.000 Something that's amazing about Nashville is it has this real wellspring of music, which is...

02:20:08.000 What'd you just do?

02:20:11.000 Yeah, there's a lot of music in Nashville, right?

02:20:13.000 But there's a lot of traditional music and stuff that's like, hey, it's American.

02:20:17.000 And not in a bad way.

02:20:19.000 Bluegrass music, I mean, it didn't come out of Nashville specifically, but that region, you have traditional music, and you're not really in touch with that in many other places.

02:20:27.000 Like here, there's a great music scene, but there aren't people who are keeping a flame alive, as far as I know.

02:20:33.000 That's interesting.

02:20:33.000 So they're keeping a bluegrass flame alive?

02:20:36.000 They really are. 0.99

02:20:37.000 Like, American Roots music is huge, and there's people that are dedicated to just, like, spreading this shit, making sure people know about it. 0.89

02:20:45.000 And that's, I mean, that's why the banjo's still around, you know, because someone... 0.53

02:20:50.000 Yeah, I mean, there's always been a respect that rock and roll guys pay to things like bluegrass or the blues.

02:21:00.000 I'm sure you guys know the song, one of my all-time favorite Skynyrd songs, The Ballad of Curtis Lowe.

02:21:05.000 Do you know that song?

02:21:07.000 It's about him picking up bottles and returning them so he could give money to this guy Curtis Lowe so he could sing him a song.

02:21:16.000 Because this guy would sit out and They'd give him money and he'd buy wine with it and he would sing songs for people. 0.98

02:21:22.000 And it's just a fucking beautiful song. 0.95

02:21:25.000 But it's not just a beautiful song. 0.98

02:21:26.000 It's a beautiful song that Skinner did just in honor of these unknown blues guys.

02:21:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:21:36.000 That are responsible for all this shit. 0.99

02:21:38.000 You know, it's like you look at Jimi Hendrix. 1.00

02:21:39.000 He didn't exist without these guys.

02:21:41.000 I was reading about some guy, you know, this is like the recording era in the 40s and 50s.

02:21:46.000 You'd have, they'd just zone in on these blues guys.

02:21:49.000 They'd find them on the street.

02:21:50.000 This guy Blind Willie McTell.

02:21:51.000 And they'd bring him up to New York and they'd cut songs with him, give him like 25 bucks.

02:21:56.000 Seriously.

02:21:57.000 And send them back and make millions.

02:21:59.000 Make millions of dollars.

02:22:00.000 And 20 years after he's put out all these records, this guy, like Atlantic Records, this guy, Amit Erdogan, finds him on the street still and he's just doing his thing.

02:22:08.000 Wow. 1.00

02:22:09.000 That's fucked. 1.00

02:22:10.000 And there's a whole community of these guys, man. 1.00

02:22:13.000 Well, there was quite a few that definitely got taken advantage of, for sure.

02:22:16.000 And there's all this weird lore behind it all, too.

02:22:20.000 I was fascinated by Robert Johnson.

02:22:24.000 Yeah, the crossroads.

02:22:25.000 Yeah, the crossroads.

02:22:26.000 He sold the soul to the devil.

02:22:28.000 I would have thought the devil would give him better songs.

02:22:31.000 I mean, the songs are pretty good.

02:22:34.000 They're really good.

02:22:35.000 But they're really good for the time.

02:22:37.000 I would think the devil would have mad universal magic.

02:22:40.000 Like, there's songs...

02:22:42.000 That for whatever reason, they just don't quite hang in there.

02:22:47.000 They don't quite hold up.

02:22:49.000 There's some old songs, you listen to them, they're fascinating, but they don't quite touch you.

02:22:56.000 And then you get to a certain point where they're like, okay, this song will exist forever.

02:23:02.000 And my register is songs like Whole Lotta Love.

02:23:06.000 Like Zeppelin, Whole Lotta Love. 0.98

02:23:08.000 Like, I don't give a fuck what happens. 0.98

02:23:10.000 I don't care if they invent time travel. 0.99

02:23:12.000 I don't care if you've got, like, robots on Pluto that put your body in suspended animation and print a 3D copy of it that breathes carbon dioxide and it wanders around on the surface.

02:23:26.000 I don't care.

02:23:26.000 You're not going to make a better song than Whole Lotta Love.

02:23:29.000 You might make a different song.

02:23:31.000 It might be different, but it's not going to be better.

02:23:33.000 It's not possible to be better.

02:23:34.000 There's something about that...

02:23:42.000 There's just something about the beauty of Palmer's voice and the sounds of the guitar and Jimmy Page is hitting it perfect and it's the time.

02:23:53.000 It's the time.

02:23:55.000 There's marijuana smoke in the air and everyone's on LSD and it's just...

02:24:02.000 It's just a different time.

02:24:04.000 They captured this rare moment where the universe gave birth to flowers.

02:24:08.000 The universe gave birth to these artistic flowers in the form of human expression.

02:24:13.000 They were birthed out of the human consciousness and imagination.

02:24:16.000 Yeah, they're the pioneers.

02:24:18.000 They kind of started this thing.

02:24:20.000 But it's interesting now...

02:24:23.000 Juxtaposed to like music made today where there's so many manufactured sounds and stuff.

02:24:28.000 It's not like, hey, this is what the drums sound like in my friend's basement. 0.97

02:24:32.000 You know, fucking awesome.

02:24:34.000 But doesn't it seem like things that are... 0.97

02:24:37.000 I hate the word organic, but it seems like the right word you used to describe people like the black keys.

02:24:43.000 Yeah, they're awesome, but they didn't come up with that sound.

02:24:48.000 They didn't come up with the blues.

02:24:50.000 They just executed really well.

02:24:51.000 Neither did Zeppelin.

02:24:52.000 It's like the Robert Johnson thing.

02:24:54.000 Pioneers, that's a great word, and I also think not a fitting one necessarily, maybe ever, because somebody always did it.

02:25:01.000 That's true.

02:25:02.000 Isn't that so true?

02:25:05.000 Isn't that what's unique about the whole thing?

02:25:09.000 There's no real pioneers.

02:25:10.000 Everyone is sort of handing a torch off, and there's these moments where someone comes up with a whole lot of love, and you're like...

02:25:17.000 You made a black diamond that weighs a thousand pounds.

02:25:20.000 You figured out a way to make some universally weird and unusual and important object.

02:25:28.000 And they probably weren't even trying.

02:25:29.000 They're just kind of filtering this stuff.

02:25:31.000 It's like a set of circumstances and experiences.

02:25:34.000 Okay, these British dudes hear this music.

02:25:36.000 They're from this weird working class town. 0.84

02:25:38.000 They wear really tight pants.

02:25:39.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:25:40.000 Flop the bulge.

02:25:41.000 And there's some of them that, you know, sometimes you have to step back away from them to realize how great they really were.

02:25:47.000 Like, if you don't listen to Sweet Home Alabama for six months, that's what you have to do.

02:25:52.000 It's like, if you don't have sex for like six weeks, when you do have sex, it'll be so amazing. 0.96

02:26:00.000 Because every touch will be like...

02:26:02.000 The power of the touch will be inflated beyond belief.

02:26:05.000 All of it, the sparks, the energy.

02:26:08.000 But the only way for that to build up is you've got to take some time off.

02:26:12.000 And Sweet Home Alabama is overplayed to death. 0.98

02:26:14.000 They beat the fuck out of that song. 0.98

02:26:17.000 Because it's so good. 0.95

02:26:18.000 But sometimes you can forget.

02:26:20.000 You forget how good it is.

02:26:21.000 But it's still a good roll in the hay is what you're saying?

02:26:24.000 All you need is a little time off.

02:26:26.000 You need a little time off and you realize that's God trying to speak through some fat, long-haired Florida boys.

02:26:34.000 That's God speaking through them. 0.98

02:26:36.000 Man, I'm trying to find the correlation between not having sex for six weeks and then listening to Seattle.

02:26:40.000 Because you have to be careful.

02:26:42.000 Familiarity breeds contempt.

02:26:44.000 To me, we're just...

02:26:48.000 Familiarity breeds contempt.

02:26:49.000 You know sweet Alabama inside and out. 1.00

02:26:52.000 You can't appreciate what it really is.

02:26:53.000 What it really is is these guys found a lightning rod to the universal constant. 1.00

02:26:58.000 They just hit that fucking button. 1.00

02:27:01.000 Sweetheart! 1.00

02:27:02.000 Alabama. 0.99

02:27:05.000 And this is 19-whatever, 70, who the fuck knows? 1.00

02:27:08.000 The cars were all dog shit. 1.00

02:27:10.000 Fucking oil crises and fucking Nixon and Jimmy Carter. 1.00

02:27:16.000 Everybody's a mess. 1.00

02:27:17.000 And then all of a sudden these fat guys out of Florida. 1.00

02:27:21.000 Ugly, white trash, fat guys. 1.00

02:27:23.000 Sweet home. 1.00

02:27:25.000 Not even fat all the time.

02:27:27.000 Like in the beginning, I actually kind of sang.

02:27:28.000 And that's kind of a happy song, man.

02:27:29.000 That's like a joyful song at moments, right?

02:27:31.000 They were amazing. 0.99

02:27:33.000 Whatever the fuck they were for that brief moment of time, you know, before that plane crash, they were amazing. 0.99

02:27:39.000 Leonard Skinner, to this day, if I have, like, a list of shit on my iPod, and I'm, like, in an airport or something like that, and I'm scrolling through, and I see my little Skinner folder, I'm like, fuck, you gotta go to Skinnerd. 0.99

02:27:51.000 Gotta go to Skinnerd, man. 0.95

02:27:52.000 It's like ACDC, I feel the same way. 1.00

02:27:54.000 Fuck yeah! 0.99

02:27:55.000 Even if every song sounds like an ACDC song, like, they don't vary at all. 1.00

02:27:59.000 Doesn't matter.

02:28:00.000 That's like a chemical rush when you put that stuff on.

02:28:04.000 They're so unique in that.

02:28:08.000 You hear that?

02:28:10.000 They have such a marching sort of style. 1.00

02:28:14.000 Yeah, that's browsing shit. 0.99

02:28:16.000 So many guys come into the cage, into mixed martial arts fights, and even in boxing fights. 1.00

02:28:22.000 They listen to ACDC? Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:28:24.000 Thunderstruck's a big one. 1.00

02:28:25.000 You know, we had a really kind of defining moment of our lifetime.

02:28:30.000 I would say, not lifetime, but we saw Black Sabbath.

02:28:34.000 We were overseas.

02:28:35.000 We were in Amsterdam.

02:28:37.000 And it actually happened to then Thanksgiving as well.

02:28:41.000 And a friend of ours got us tickets to see Black Sabbath.

02:28:45.000 And, you know, you got to think, like, how much longer does Ozzy got?

02:28:49.000 You know, you don't want to miss it if you have an opportunity.

02:28:52.000 And it was amazing.

02:28:53.000 Like, it was really...

02:28:55.000 You really saw his energy was so genuine.

02:28:59.000 It really was.

02:28:59.000 You could tell he was having a blast.

02:29:01.000 He couldn't sing for shit. 0.99

02:29:02.000 I mean, he was so off-key that he was almost back in-key. 1.00

02:29:05.000 Like, it was so far off an octave that it was almost back in, but it was so entertaining to see him because he really felt...

02:29:12.000 Like, you felt his energy was, like, across the whole...

02:29:15.000 Like, it was called the Ziggo Dome.

02:29:17.000 Right.

02:29:17.000 It was this huge, you know, place and...

02:29:20.000 It was a really crazy experience to see Ozzy Osbourne up on stage doing his thing.

02:29:27.000 He's got his signature moves. 0.98

02:29:29.000 Between each song, he'd be like, I can't fucking hear you! 0.98

02:29:32.000 And then everyone's screaming! 0.99

02:29:35.000 And it was crazy.

02:29:36.000 But it was really, really great to see.

02:29:38.000 He's legendary.

02:29:39.000 Brian, you remember when we went to see Steel Panthers, right?

02:29:43.000 Yeah, in Vegas.

02:29:45.000 We went to see Steel Panthers in Vegas?

02:29:46.000 When did we see them?

02:29:47.000 And the dude who's the lead singer does the most insane...

02:29:53.000 Impression of Ozzy Osbourne.

02:29:55.000 I mean, pitch, movement, like the way he shuffles on stage.

02:29:59.000 He does Crazy Train. 1.00

02:30:01.000 And it's like, holy shit. 0.99

02:30:03.000 It's so good, it makes you want to go see Ozzy Osbourne. 0.99

02:30:05.000 It really is so good.

02:30:07.000 That's a bizarre place that they have, right?

02:30:09.000 Bands like Steel Panther.

02:30:10.000 It's amazing, but it makes you want to see somebody else.

02:30:13.000 Well, they have...

02:30:14.000 They're not just a band.

02:30:16.000 They're like a show.

02:30:17.000 Yeah, you guys sound like a review, right?

02:30:19.000 Well, it's...

02:30:20.000 Yeah, it's almost like a little bit of that.

02:30:31.000 Is this them doing it?

02:30:34.000 It's hard to tell, but this audio is hard to hear. 0.98

02:30:37.000 When we see it live, though, it's fucking insane.

02:30:39.000 I mean, he sounds like Ozzy Osbourne in his prime. 0.97

02:30:43.000 I mean, exactly.

02:30:44.000 It's brilliant.

02:30:47.000 Yeah, it made you want to go see Ozzy before it's too late.

02:30:51.000 Who knows how they're keeping that guy alive.

02:30:54.000 There was a good 20 to 30 minute drum solo that went on.

02:30:57.000 It was being transported.

02:30:58.000 You were in the 70s.

02:31:00.000 You were there, yeah.

02:31:00.000 You went back and this is what people did.

02:31:02.000 I don't smoke weed very often, but I did in Amsterdam and it was crazy.

02:31:06.000 I mean, you're just like... 0.99

02:31:07.000 Fuck yeah, I'm going to get high at Black Sabbath. 0.99

02:31:10.000 I remember one time I was writing. 1.00

02:31:11.000 I'm really bad at it.

02:31:12.000 I was coming home on a plane and I was writing.

02:31:15.000 And a lot of times when I write, I'll eat like a pot edible before I get on the plane.

02:31:18.000 And this one was particularly strong.

02:31:20.000 And for whatever reason, I decided to play Crazy Train over and over and over again.

02:31:25.000 I put it on repeat.

02:31:26.000 Interesting choice. 0.98

02:31:27.000 And I played that song for fucking five hours while I was writing. 0.99

02:31:30.000 All the way from New York back to L.A. It was five hours of Crazy Train. 0.99

02:31:36.000 Oh my God.

02:31:36.000 Yeah.

02:31:38.000 It's just one of those things.

02:31:39.000 It's like you catch a great groove.

02:31:42.000 Just ride it.

02:31:43.000 That's interesting.

02:31:43.000 I've never thought about writing to other music because usually I'm writing music, but that'd be, you know, like listening.

02:31:50.000 Why does it sound exactly like crazy?

02:31:51.000 I could never study when I was in school.

02:31:55.000 I could never really study if there was music in the background because I'd be really distracted by it.

02:31:58.000 Most of the time I feel the same way, but I needed comfort.

02:32:01.000 Yeah.

02:32:01.000 That's really cool.

02:32:03.000 Just five hours.

02:32:03.000 I was too high.

02:32:04.000 That's dedication.

02:32:05.000 I needed comfort.

02:32:06.000 But it's also when you get super high, patterns start to, once they become very recognizable by the mind, the mind settles into this idea that there's not going to be any interruptions in those patterns.

02:32:19.000 So like crazy train essentially becomes like a three minute and 35 second ohm.

02:32:25.000 That's great.

02:32:26.000 This is helping me because I'm really bad at being high.

02:32:29.000 I'm so bad.

02:32:30.000 I lose my sparkle.

02:32:32.000 In what way?

02:32:34.000 I'm not present. 0.99

02:32:37.000 I can't really focus on a conversation and I feel very self-aware and I want to take a fucking nap. 0.99

02:32:42.000 I hear you. 0.99

02:32:43.000 I totally understand those things.

02:32:45.000 They're very, very logical.

02:32:48.000 But I think that what I like about it is that terrible feeling of everything going completely off the rails.

02:32:55.000 And then you get back to reality, you take a deep breath, you go...

02:32:58.000 We're okay.

02:33:01.000 Everything's okay.

02:33:02.000 Because it gives you such a bizarrely introspective perspective and such an intensely sensitive view of the world that when the ride is over, you get off and you go, okay, we're fine now.

02:33:17.000 Okay, this is helpful.

02:33:18.000 Thank you.

02:33:18.000 It's like going on a really shitty vacation so work feels better.

02:33:20.000 So you appreciate your job.

02:33:22.000 Yeah. 0.75

02:33:23.000 Well, it's not even that it's shitty.

02:33:24.000 It's just that in its uniquely terrifying moments, it reveals to you the beauty of just placid reality when everything's just relaxed.

02:33:35.000 See, I used to smoke all the time, but I hit this rut of massive anxiety.

02:33:42.000 Well, you don't really remember.

02:33:43.000 Was it your 23rd and 24th year?

02:33:46.000 Is that what you said?

02:33:46.000 Yeah, it was about two years.

02:33:48.000 That was about high for two years.

02:33:49.000 Yeah, it was pretty crazy.

02:33:50.000 It was really tough to work with you then.

02:33:51.000 I love you, but those were some tough times.

02:33:54.000 It shaped you as a man.

02:33:55.000 All those journeys you went on.

02:33:56.000 I can't remember anything.

02:33:57.000 Those cosmic voyages to despair.

02:34:01.000 Twisty, turny roads into the night where your car starts to sputter.

02:34:05.000 Well, for you, meat is like cocaine.

02:34:05.000 You're like...

02:34:06.000 It is.

02:34:07.000 It's very much an upper.

02:34:08.000 Really?

02:34:08.000 Yeah.

02:34:09.000 That's interesting.

02:34:10.000 Yeah, it's really tough to be around.

02:34:12.000 Tough to be around.

02:34:13.000 You know, it's interesting how they will prescribe certain kind of uppers to people that are hyperactive, and it sort of balances that out.

02:34:21.000 Adderall's really fun, let me tell you.

02:34:23.000 I've heard that from several people this week.

02:34:26.000 It feels like the two times I've taken Adderall recreationally, sorry.

02:34:32.000 I felt like I was on mushrooms.

02:34:33.000 It was the best thing ever.

02:34:34.000 Actually, we were in Paris.

02:34:35.000 We were in Paris on tour.

02:34:37.000 What jacks up your dopamine?

02:34:38.000 And I took an Adderall and we went to the Eiffel Tower and I had the best time ever.

02:34:45.000 I felt amazing.

02:34:47.000 Wow.

02:34:47.000 Yeah, it was super fun.

02:34:48.000 That's insane.

02:34:49.000 And we had a really fun show.

02:34:50.000 I mean, I wouldn't...

02:34:52.000 Did you do the show on Adderall?

02:34:54.000 No, no, no.

02:34:55.000 It was way earlier in the day.

02:34:56.000 Oh, so the Adderall was worn off?

02:34:58.000 Yeah, I don't like to be...

02:35:01.000 How long does it take to wear off?

02:35:02.000 I don't know, six hours?

02:35:04.000 Oh my god! 0.91

02:35:04.000 Yeah, it was fucking awesome! 0.91

02:35:06.000 Holy shit! 1.00

02:35:07.000 You're the second person! 1.00

02:35:08.000 Hannibal Buress said it the other day, too.

02:35:09.000 It was really fun.

02:35:11.000 Buress?

02:35:11.000 I say his name wrong all the time.

02:35:13.000 Buress.

02:35:13.000 With shows and stuff like that, you definitely, like, you gotta be present.

02:35:17.000 You know, you don't want, I have to be in control of all of my faculties as much as possible. 0.99

02:35:22.000 Yeah, no, I totally understand, but something that lasts for six hours, that seems like, fuck. 0.99

02:35:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:35:27.000 Boners that last for six hours.

02:35:29.000 Yeah.

02:35:29.000 That's a problem.

02:35:30.000 We've talked about that two days.

02:35:32.000 All of it's a problem.

02:35:34.000 All of it's a problem.

02:35:35.000 God.

02:35:36.000 That's crazy.

02:35:37.000 Did you wear a fanny pack or something?

02:35:39.000 I actually just took one last night, so I'm on it right now.

02:35:42.000 Do you have wood right now?

02:35:44.000 TMI, Brian.

02:35:45.000 I don't know if I want to know.

02:35:46.000 TMI. I feel uncomfortable.

02:35:49.000 I'm amazed how you can feel comfortable every year.

02:35:52.000 Just knowing he's breathing.

02:35:54.000 So you're saying you went out last night, or did you just stay home alone?

02:35:57.000 Sometimes he just fires one of them up just to let everybody know what's up.

02:36:00.000 I got a massage last night, so I just did it before that.

02:36:05.000 A massage in quotes, air quotes.

02:36:07.000 You creeper.

02:36:08.000 It's just better that way.

02:36:10.000 Listen, we live in trying times.

02:36:12.000 It wasn't even a rubbing tug? 1.00

02:36:13.000 You just wanted to fuck with the massage therapist? 1.00

02:36:16.000 What an asshole. 1.00

02:36:18.000 What an asshole. 1.00

02:36:20.000 This giant fucking snake coming out of the top of his pants. 1.00

02:36:23.000 What is that? 1.00

02:36:24.000 Is that a turtle head?

02:36:25.000 What is that?

02:36:26.000 What is that?

02:36:28.000 What's that pink thing? 1.00

02:36:29.000 Can we go back to talking about passion and fun?

02:36:32.000 Well, you know what?

02:36:33.000 We need to talk about everything.

02:36:34.000 That's the problem.

02:36:35.000 You can't just talk only about passion. 1.00

02:36:37.000 People get bored of the same goddamn speeches over and over again. 0.99

02:36:40.000 You brought up the boner anyway. 1.00

02:36:42.000 I did!

02:36:43.000 Story of my life!

02:36:44.000 I would bring it up if I was a chick, too.

02:36:46.000 You're welcome. 0.95

02:36:47.000 If I was a chick, I'd be bringing up boners all day. 1.00

02:36:49.000 So explain to me, boners. 0.91

02:36:51.000 Do you know when they're coming?

02:36:52.000 What are you guys doing later?

02:36:53.000 I'd be like, is it like, does it give you like a whisper?

02:36:55.000 Do you hear like whistling in your ears?

02:36:57.000 You know the demon boners on its way? 0.98

02:37:00.000 The howling between the worlds opens up just a creak and... 1.00

02:37:04.000 And the boner spirits come flying through your fucking nervous system. 1.00

02:37:08.000 Boner spirits. 1.00

02:37:09.000 You feel them.

02:37:10.000 Boners. 0.93

02:37:11.000 Yeah.

02:37:13.000 I had an interesting conversation with this girl once and she was talking about the difference between a woman getting excited and a man getting excited is that it's pretty obvious if a man's excited. 0.99

02:37:26.000 But a woman could be a prostitute and she could totally pretend to be excited and not give a fuck. 1.00

02:37:33.000 But a man has this one thing that he has to show. 1.00

02:37:37.000 And so if he's acting excited but he doesn't have an erection, they're like, hey...

02:37:43.000 Something's wrong here.

02:37:43.000 What are you doing?

02:37:43.000 Are you being deceptive here?

02:37:44.000 Liar. 1.00

02:37:45.000 What's going on here? 1.00

02:37:46.000 You are full of shit. 1.00

02:37:48.000 It's interesting how nature set that up. 1.00

02:37:50.000 It's way easier to lie to dudes.

02:37:52.000 It's also way easier to lie to dudes.

02:37:56.000 I disagree, though.

02:37:57.000 I mean, God, we're totally getting down.

02:37:59.000 But if you're not wet, you're not wet.

02:38:02.000 And that's got to be disappointing for a dude.

02:38:05.000 Yeah, but that's...

02:38:06.000 I mean, come on.

02:38:07.000 There's a difference.

02:38:08.000 We don't know any better.

02:38:09.000 You know there's a difference. 0.97

02:38:10.000 We're retarded, apparently. 0.64

02:38:11.000 I could convince myself otherwise. 1.00

02:38:14.000 Men are retarded. 1.00

02:38:15.000 It's easy for us to... 0.99

02:38:16.000 Yeah, you know, she's not... 0.98

02:38:18.000 She wasn't wet, but she was so horny. 1.00

02:38:19.000 You know the difference between your spit and the real juice. 0.96

02:38:22.000 The problem is she's on this new pill.

02:38:24.000 She's probably going to get off and go organic. 1.00

02:38:27.000 She's probably gluten free. 1.00

02:38:28.000 It does make a difference.

02:38:29.000 I'm sure it does.

02:38:30.000 Being on birth control and not on birth control. 1.00

02:38:32.000 It's like a mind fuck. 1.00

02:38:33.000 I bet it does. 1.00

02:38:34.000 It's insane. 0.99

02:38:35.000 You have better orgasms. 0.97

02:38:38.000 The whole thing. 0.99

02:38:39.000 Off of it.

02:38:40.000 You come out from this.

02:38:41.000 Yeah.

02:38:42.000 Yeah.

02:38:43.000 I'm sure.

02:38:44.000 It's like a muted sexual side to yourself.

02:38:47.000 I'm sure. 0.99

02:38:48.000 But your boobs get bigger and that's fun. 1.00

02:38:50.000 It's letting your body think that it's pregnant. 0.99

02:38:52.000 Yeah it's really weird.

02:38:53.000 That's what it is.

02:38:54.000 It's letting your body think that it's pregnant. 0.99

02:38:55.000 I don't think I would ever go back on anything like that.

02:38:59.000 It's crazy.

02:39:00.000 It's probably not the smartest thing for your body, right?

02:39:02.000 But it helps people in some things, like girls who have acne a lot of times will get on it.

02:39:06.000 It actually gave me acne.

02:39:08.000 Whoa.

02:39:08.000 Yeah, it was a real bummer.

02:39:10.000 Yeah.

02:39:11.000 It's interesting still, also, that they've never figured out a solution like that for men.

02:39:15.000 Like a pill solution.

02:39:17.000 And I wonder if it had the same sort of compromising aspects... 0.99

02:39:21.000 Well, there's Accutane if you want the hard stuff, but that's pretty fucked up. 0.99

02:39:24.000 I think we're talking about boners. 0.99

02:39:26.000 Right! 0.93

02:39:28.000 I mean something that makes men sterile.

02:39:31.000 Like a sterilizer.

02:39:32.000 Yeah.

02:39:33.000 Well, that's a horrible...

02:39:35.000 Like a temporary sterilization.

02:39:37.000 Listen to what you just said.

02:39:38.000 That's a horrible thought.

02:39:40.000 But the pill is like the irreversible side of it.

02:39:43.000 Well, the vasectomy is reversible, is it not?

02:39:44.000 And apparently it's like a walk-in procedure.

02:39:46.000 I don't know if it's 100% reversible.

02:39:50.000 I think sometimes they can, you know, I mean, you have to go to a really good doctor that knows what they're doing.

02:39:53.000 But I think there definitely can be complications whenever you...

02:39:56.000 Start cutting and stitching stuff back up.

02:39:59.000 It is unfortunate that all of the pressure lies on the woman. 0.97

02:40:01.000 Yeah, it is.

02:40:02.000 It is.

02:40:03.000 And you're right, I did just kind of reveal it like that. 1.00

02:40:05.000 Now that I think about it, it's horrifying to me to think of fucking with the testicles, but at the same time, it's totally routine to be like, take that pill. 0.99

02:40:12.000 Yeah, do you know what if I get an IUD? That shit is fucked up. 1.00

02:40:15.000 I went into shock. 1.00

02:40:17.000 Did you really?

02:40:18.000 Yeah, I went into shock.

02:40:19.000 Like, I literally, you know, had like...

02:40:23.000 It's called vasovag...

02:40:25.000 I don't know how to describe it.

02:40:27.000 I can't remember the actual word.

02:40:29.000 Vasodilation?

02:40:30.000 Your body doesn't reject it.

02:40:32.000 I'm just repeating words I've heard online.

02:40:35.000 It's close, but it's like...

02:40:36.000 Wikipedia?

02:40:36.000 There's a word for it.

02:40:38.000 Transcontent's a railroad? 0.52

02:40:40.000 But it's intense, you know?

02:40:41.000 The Gadsden Purchase.

02:40:42.000 It's great.

02:40:43.000 It's really funny.

02:40:43.000 I'm sorry.

02:40:44.000 I'm sorry.

02:40:45.000 We're talking about... 1.00

02:40:45.000 You're going in shock because you got a robot fucking turned into your vagina. 1.00

02:40:50.000 We're like coming up with witty words. 1.00

02:40:53.000 Sorry.

02:40:54.000 No, I'm over it.

02:40:55.000 I feel better.

02:40:56.000 It's okay. 0.99

02:40:56.000 I can fucking hang with the boys. 0.99

02:40:57.000 It certainly is rude, not just of us, but of culture, to sort of make that distinction. 1.00

02:41:05.000 It would be disgusting for a guy to take a pill that makes you sterile, like kills your sperm. 0.99

02:41:10.000 You'd be turned off by that. 0.98

02:41:11.000 Do you think they thought of it and just didn't put it on the market?

02:41:13.000 I think there's a certain valuable asset sort of mindset that goes along with the idea of fertility.

02:41:22.000 And I think that virility and fertility are very important to men.

02:41:27.000 And the idea of killing all your spermies with a pill seems scary. 0.72

02:41:33.000 If you're really going to totally commit, you would get an operation. 1.00

02:41:36.000 If you weren't going to totally commit, the idea of cooking them with some sort of an evil compound Just freeze that shit. 0.99

02:41:44.000 You'll be fine. 1.00

02:41:45.000 Yeah, but...

02:41:46.000 It can't come out the same way.

02:41:48.000 It's like vegetables.

02:41:49.000 Yeah, probably.

02:41:50.000 Would you cook with frozen vegetables?

02:41:51.000 It's like drinking V8. Would you rather cook with frozen vegetables?

02:41:54.000 Not necessarily.

02:41:55.000 Yeah, something's wrong there.

02:41:57.000 Something's wrong.

02:41:58.000 We don't know what it is.

02:41:59.000 I totally get it.

02:42:01.000 If I was a chick, I'd be really bummed out if somebody wanted me to take a pill that made my body think that it's pregnant and then also kills your libido. 0.79

02:42:10.000 Which is probably what nature would do, like, almost automatically if you're pregnant. 1.00

02:42:15.000 Probably like, okay, slow down, hooker. 1.00

02:42:18.000 Slow down. 1.00

02:42:19.000 You don't need any more dick. 1.00

02:42:20.000 You got a baby on the way. 1.00

02:42:22.000 Take it down a notch.

02:42:23.000 It's an interesting, like, when you go through your relationships, like, obviously if you're dating, it's not as much of a problem, you know, because you use condoms and that's fine, honestly.

02:42:33.000 Like...

02:42:34.000 But if you're really serious with somebody and then you get to that point where you're like, I love you.

02:42:39.000 I don't want to use this anymore.

02:42:41.000 Let's kick it up a notch. 0.99

02:42:43.000 Then you get to that point where you have to figure out, well, shit, how do I want to manipulate my body To have more pleasurable sex or a more intimate connection, if you will. 0.99

02:42:57.000 Or, you know, let's have a risk that we're going to take and it may or may not make a baby. 1.00

02:43:07.000 That's fucking terrifying. 0.99

02:43:08.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:43:09.000 The idea may or may not make a person is a fucking tricky thing. 0.87

02:43:13.000 Especially when you're young musicians trying to travel the road and... 0.95

02:43:18.000 Yeah, I don't want to get anybody pregnant on the road. 1.00

02:43:20.000 That would fucking suck. 0.98

02:43:20.000 What would happen if you had to visit your baby daddy in Tennessee? 0.98

02:43:24.000 You got some guy pregnant in Tennessee. 0.99

02:43:25.000 That's awful. 0.96

02:43:26.000 Imagine if chicks could get guys pregnant. 1.00

02:43:28.000 Boy, dudes would be such prudes. 0.97

02:43:30.000 It would be hilarious.

02:43:31.000 If girls could get us pregnant, it would be a total role reversal. 1.00

02:43:37.000 What the fuck are you crying about? 1.00

02:43:38.000 I could jerk off. 1.00

02:43:38.000 I'd just fucking jerk off. 1.00

02:43:40.000 I'll be fine over here, just jerking off. 1.00

02:43:42.000 I don't need anybody getting me pregnant. 1.00

02:43:44.000 We'd just get tons of abortions. 1.00

02:43:47.000 Everyone would be getting abortions every day. 1.00

02:43:49.000 But what if you were a dude who had this weird sort of genetic desire to breed?

02:43:55.000 What if you had all these male aggressive qualities that we associate with being male, but also the need to get pregnant? 1.00

02:44:04.000 The universe hit a switch on you. 1.00

02:44:07.000 There's weirder shit when it comes to fucking frogs that can switch sex and weird fucking bugs. 1.00

02:44:14.000 Some people love to get pregnant just to say that they're pregnant. 1.00

02:44:17.000 I'm not kidding. 0.99

02:44:18.000 It's really fucking weird. 0.87

02:44:19.000 You meet a lot of people out there, and it's just like... 0.99

02:44:23.000 Do you think they're really getting pregnant just to say they're pregnant? 1.00

02:44:26.000 Or do you think they just like to fuck? 1.00

02:44:27.000 Maybe they're not getting pregnant, but sometimes they enjoy the... 1.00

02:44:32.000 It's like an accomplishment portion, right?

02:44:34.000 Well, it definitely gets you congratulations almost immediately.

02:44:38.000 Well, I definitely feel like it can be...

02:44:39.000 Let me rephrase that, because go for it, everybody.

02:44:42.000 If you want to get down, procreate, more power to you.

02:44:47.000 But you have to admit, you've seen people exploit it.

02:44:50.000 Yes.

02:44:51.000 In a way that it's like, do you really want to have this life that you're creating or do you just love your Facebook updates?

02:44:59.000 You know what I mean?

02:45:00.000 Right.

02:45:00.000 There's an interesting aspect.

02:45:02.000 I think it's someone I know posted a photo of the pregnancy test.

02:45:13.000 Right.

02:45:13.000 On the Facebook.

02:45:15.000 It was like, you peed on that. 1.00

02:45:18.000 That's fucked up. 1.00

02:45:20.000 I think as a person who's never given birth, your perspective would radically change if you have a baby inside of you. 1.00

02:45:28.000 That's true.

02:45:29.000 And I've never been pregnant.

02:45:30.000 But it's also like what people choose to and not to share on Facebook.

02:45:35.000 Right.

02:45:36.000 That gets real squirrely. 0.98

02:45:39.000 Sometimes you go on someone's Facebook, especially if it's someone you know, and they write a bunch of really personal shit about a relationship or something. 0.91

02:45:47.000 Also, it's a really private thing, yeah. 0.80

02:45:48.000 I'm going to walk away from this.

02:45:51.000 I'm certainly not going to comment.

02:45:52.000 You go, girl. 0.99

02:45:54.000 Good things come to those who wait or some fucking Maxwell House coffee commercial. 1.00

02:46:00.000 Like, whatever, you know, blah, blah, blah, sorry to hear, you're in the dumps. 0.99

02:46:06.000 Why are people broadcasting stuff like that to the whole world?

02:46:09.000 We actually had a friend, Ben, remember the guy who was like, he was like, that's it, I'm done, I'm on the edge.

02:46:14.000 People really reach out, man.

02:46:15.000 And you reach out to him because you're a good man.

02:46:18.000 Ben had somebody that he knew, we're not going to...

02:46:20.000 Say his name.

02:46:21.000 It would be good for everybody involved.

02:46:23.000 Norman Rockwell.

02:46:25.000 Norman, your painting seems so cheery.

02:46:28.000 Americana, you captured it. 0.98

02:46:30.000 I think people are fucking lonely. 0.99

02:46:33.000 That's it, right? 0.98

02:46:34.000 That is an outlet that everyone has access to.

02:46:37.000 Nobody's going to listen to them in real life, so they can put it out there and maybe someone will listen to them digitally.

02:46:43.000 It's a powerful and yet terrifying thing sometimes because then you get people that are fucking annoying and then people that are really serious in a dark way.

02:46:52.000 It's such a weird balance.

02:46:55.000 I can never tell how I feel about it because social media is...

02:46:59.000 Great for a band like us because that's how you stay afloat.

02:47:03.000 Right.

02:47:04.000 You know, that's how you stay present.

02:47:05.000 Right.

02:47:05.000 Because we're not a signed band.

02:47:07.000 We're not on the radio.

02:47:08.000 But at the same time, then there's like your personal circle, your personal friends. 1.00

02:47:13.000 And that's some crazy shit. 0.94

02:47:15.000 You know, sometimes you just get these people that like... 0.99

02:47:18.000 They want to reveal these really personal things, and I never know what to do. 0.99

02:47:24.000 I just block that shit. 0.99

02:47:26.000 And I think it can be off-putting, but it's also important, too, for people to be able to get shit out, right? 1.00

02:47:32.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:47:32.000 I was listening to something, and they were talking about these mental health things. 0.98

02:47:37.000 Talk to people.

02:47:38.000 I think it's good to talk to people, man.

02:47:40.000 Yeah, talking to people is definitely the best.

02:47:44.000 Yeah.

02:47:44.000 It is.

02:47:45.000 You're right.

02:47:45.000 I'm sorry.

02:47:46.000 I heard something about mental health workers in Africa, right?

02:47:49.000 And they were over there and all these African tribes, people or more native people, were kind of rejecting these mental health workers because they'd come in.

02:47:56.000 Oh, yeah.

02:47:56.000 And these people, these African people would say, well, they come in here and they don't say anything about dancing.

02:48:03.000 They don't say anything about putting it out for the community.

02:48:07.000 They don't say anything about turning these feelings, depersonalizing them as evil spirits.

02:48:12.000 They just tell us to come into a room with a stranger, a dark room with a stranger and talk about their problems. 1.00

02:48:19.000 Talk about the bad shit. 1.00

02:48:22.000 And they'd say, we don't want this kind of Western feel. 1.00

02:48:25.000 We want to just get it out and do it together and dance and hang, you know?

02:48:30.000 And I'm not saying Facebook is really doing that, but there's a certain similarity there between like, man, share it.

02:48:36.000 It's all right.

02:48:37.000 Well, it is eventually, I think.

02:48:39.000 There's excessive sharing, though.

02:48:40.000 Well, there's excessive sharing, and it's all about the comfort that people have in discussing very personal relationship stuff, or very personal...

02:48:58.000 Morbid thoughts or worries about your own finite life or whatever it is.

02:49:04.000 Sometimes you read someone's Facebook page and you want to know whether or not you should reach out to them. 0.99

02:49:09.000 Read some weird moody thing that they wrote and you go, whoa, what the fuck is he saying here? 0.99

02:49:14.000 Is this some shit that I'm going to read and then wish that I called him when I hear that something went wrong? 0.99

02:49:21.000 We all worry about that kind of stuff. 0.99

02:49:23.000 But I think that What we're doing by connecting with each other on things like Twitter, and then things like Facebook, and then ultimately whatever the new ones are that keep coming, because it seems like it's never going to stop.

02:49:38.000 This Oculus Rift Facebook connection, who knows where the hell that's going to lead.

02:49:42.000 But that could lead to some insane place.

02:49:45.000 I mean, Oculus Rift, if you've never put it on before, Duncan has one of these things.

02:49:48.000 You slap the helmet on, maybe he'll let you use it.

02:49:51.000 It's amazing.

02:49:52.000 And right now, it's in its infancy.

02:49:54.000 What is it?

02:49:54.000 I don't know anything about it.

02:49:55.000 Oh, how dare you.

02:49:57.000 Teach me.

02:49:58.000 Oculus Rift is a new version of virtual reality that they're developing games for.

02:50:03.000 And they have a few demos right now and they're making some new games.

02:50:06.000 But most of what you're getting when you look at the tech these days is essentially samples of what's potentially possible.

02:50:14.000 A door into whatever this is that's so intoxicating that Facebook, how much did they pay for it?

02:50:20.000 I think it was $300.

02:50:22.000 $300 is a good bargain.

02:50:24.000 It's just a dev kit right now, so right now it's really...

02:50:27.000 No, no, no.

02:50:27.000 I mean, how much did Facebook pay?

02:50:29.000 Oh, $2 billion. 0.99

02:50:30.000 I thought you were being silly. 0.98

02:50:32.000 You're like $300. 0.99

02:50:34.000 I'm like, damn, I wish I'd known I would give them $4. 1.00

02:50:36.000 Shit. 1.00

02:50:37.000 But $2 billion? 1.00

02:50:39.000 Hello?

02:50:40.000 That's how crazy this technology is.

02:50:41.000 You put this headset on, and you look around, and you see the sky.

02:50:45.000 You see leaves falling from the trees.

02:50:46.000 You see birds flying around.

02:50:48.000 Three-dimensional environment.

02:50:50.000 What?

02:50:50.000 Yeah, and they have this one...

02:50:52.000 Can you interact with it?

02:50:53.000 You can walk around in it.

02:50:55.000 Right now, you can't interact with it, but unquestionably it's coming.

02:50:59.000 I want to text Duncan and say, I want to wear your helmet, but that might be weird.

02:51:02.000 No, it won't.

02:51:02.000 He'll let you do both.

02:51:07.000 You should specify which one you like first, or whether or not together, because that would be fucking crazy.

02:51:12.000 With the helmet on, you'd be like, what am I feeling?

02:51:14.000 But what am I seeing? 1.00

02:51:15.000 I see leaves falling, but someone's fucking me in the ass. 1.00

02:51:17.000 They really got to figure it out, though, because it still makes a lot of people sick. 1.00

02:51:22.000 And every time I let people use it, they're like, most of them are like, no, this is, I can't, I have to sit down.

02:51:28.000 Well, I tried it and it didn't make me sick. 0.99

02:51:30.000 I think it's the universe trying to weed out weak bitches. 1.00

02:51:33.000 Did you do the roller coaster one? 1.00

02:51:35.000 No, I'm just kidding.

02:51:36.000 The one I did was so mild.

02:51:38.000 I'm completely kidding, because all I did was walk around in the backyard.

02:51:41.000 It didn't make me sick.

02:51:42.000 But I have heard...

02:51:43.000 I get sick when I read my laptop in the back of a car.

02:51:47.000 Like, if I'm in the back seat and someone else is driving, I try to read my laptop...

02:51:50.000 So how are you with things like Call of Duty, like 360 video games? 0.99

02:51:54.000 I can't do that shit. 0.99

02:51:55.000 It's like watching the Blair Witch Project. 1.00

02:51:57.000 I don't play them because I get addicted to games.

02:52:00.000 I have an issue.

02:52:01.000 Seriously, peaky?

02:52:03.000 Peaky?

02:52:03.000 I've had a little bit of nothing.

02:52:05.000 You a little crazy with Call of Duty? 0.83

02:52:07.000 Well, it just makes you pukey. 0.92

02:52:08.000 Oh, pukey! 1.00

02:52:09.000 It makes me super, super nauseous.

02:52:10.000 I thought you said peaky.

02:52:11.000 I was like, I'm not sure what you mean.

02:52:12.000 I feel like I hear myself slurring and I want to stop talking now, so goodbye.

02:52:16.000 Listen, I think we're out of time.

02:52:18.000 We're going to turn into a pumpkin in any second now.

02:52:21.000 But it's always awesome hanging out with you guys.

02:52:23.000 I'm honored to be your friend.

02:52:25.000 I love you guys. 1.00

02:52:26.000 You're the shit. 0.99

02:52:27.000 You're such positive, awesome, fun people to be around. 1.00

02:52:30.000 I can speak for Brian.

02:52:32.000 We're honored to be friends with you.

02:52:34.000 I'm tired of speaking for you, Brian. 1.00

02:52:35.000 Speak for yourself, bitch. 1.00

02:52:37.000 I love you guys. 1.00

02:52:38.000 Love you, Brian.

02:52:39.000 He said it.

02:52:40.000 He means it, too.

02:52:41.000 He tells me when you're not around.

02:52:44.000 Thanks to our podcast sponsors.

02:52:46.000 Thanks to... 0.99

02:52:47.000 God damn it. 0.99

02:52:48.000 Why don't I ever... 0.99

02:52:49.000 Luminosity.

02:52:50.000 Yeah, I know what it is.

02:52:50.000 I just don't know what their code is.

02:52:54.000 Lumosity.

02:52:54.000 Make them all the same.

02:52:55.000 Hold on.

02:52:56.000 I'll find out, Lumosity.

02:52:57.000 I won't leave you hanging, you freaks, because I love your website.

02:53:01.000 I think you just said that Joe sent you.

02:53:03.000 When you're signing up, there's a place to actually choose.

02:53:06.000 No, it's actually...

02:53:07.000 You're wrong again, Brian.

02:53:08.000 It's Lumosity.com slash Joe.

02:53:12.000 So go to Lumosity.com slash Joe and click the Start Training button and start playing your first game.

02:53:19.000 Lumosity, it's a bunch of cool games designed...

02:53:22.000 To increase your brain's ability to function faster because of exercise.

02:53:28.000 The idea is it's a gym for your mind.

02:53:30.000 Now what I said there, your brain's ability to function faster.

02:53:34.000 Take into account that I am certainly not a scientist by any stretch of the imagination.

02:53:39.000 Nor do I know if those games really truly...

02:53:41.000 I read studies that they say that games, video games especially, enhance cognitive function in some strange way. 0.88

02:53:48.000 What the fuck do I know, though, folks, huh? 0.78

02:53:50.000 Am I there while they're doing these tests, huh? 0.98

02:53:53.000 What I'm saying is Lumosity is fun and accomplishes a lot of the things that they've attributed to video games. 0.96

02:54:03.000 You can even design games specifically for the shit that you're interested in.

02:54:08.000 And I'm giving Lumosity a full commercial because I'm not sure if we did it the first time because it got sort of eliminated by an accidental Mac explosion. 0.77

02:54:16.000 Anyway, Lumosity.com forward slash Joe.

02:54:21.000 I will see you guys on Friday with the great Dennis McKenna.

02:54:24.000 Dennis is bringing in a good friend of his. 0.98

02:54:27.000 And we're going to have a crazy podcast that is most likely going to blow your fucking mind. 0.97

02:54:32.000 So, tune in then as well. 0.95

02:54:34.000 And I will see you guys April 3rd in Miami.

02:54:40.000 At the Fillmore Theater with the great Tony Hinchcliffe and the other two dates.

02:54:46.000 Baltimore on April 25th and Orlando on April 18th.

02:54:50.000 Both those dates are almost sold out.

02:54:52.000 So hop on it, freaks. 1.00

02:54:53.000 Alright, much love.

02:54:54.000 See you soon.

02:54:55.000 Big kiss.

02:54:55.000 Honey, honey.

02:54:56.000 Honey, honey band on Twitter.

02:54:58.000 Holla! 1.00

The Joe Rogan Experience - March 26, 2014

Joe Rogan Experience #476 - Honey Honey

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript