The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #549 - Big Jay Oakerson

00:00:02.000 Good googly moogly, ladies and gentlemen.

00:00:04.000 This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.

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00:00:55.000 What's it called?

00:00:56.000 Ticket.

00:00:57.000 Report ticket?

00:00:58.000 Yeah, Ticket.

00:00:59.000 Support.

00:01:00.000 Support, not report.

00:01:01.000 They got a support ticket for Dunkin' Trussell and they were like, is this Dunkin' Trussell, Dunkin' Trussell?

00:01:06.000 They were trying to figure it out.

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00:02:20.000 We're also brought to you by LegalZoom.

00:02:23.000 LegalZoom is an awesome way that you can handle a lot of legal issues without leaving your house.

00:02:28.000 It used to be that you would have to go to a lawyer and make an appointment and pay a lot of money to resolve simple things like power of attorney, living trusts, wills.

00:02:38.000 You can do all that stuff online now through LegalZoom.

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00:02:53.000 They even allegedly, I mean, I've seen it on the website, offered divorce, but I would like to look at how many people have actually got divorced through LegalZoom.

00:03:01.000 Yeah, it was a grueling 10 years with LegalZoom. 0.99

00:03:04.000 Yeah, shit. 1.00

00:03:05.000 People duke it out, man. 1.00

00:03:06.000 I was listening to this interview where this guy was talking about how much money he had to pay.

00:03:11.000 Some famous guy, I don't need to mention his name, but he was talking about how much money he had to pay out in a divorce.

00:03:16.000 Freaking out about it.

00:03:17.000 That's war with some people, man.

00:03:19.000 Or that old story you used to say about how your friend had to pay for his own wife's lawyers.

00:03:24.000 That's true. 0.98

00:03:24.000 That's ridiculous. 0.98

00:03:25.000 I'm going through it. 0.80

00:03:26.000 I wonder if I could use LegalZoom.

00:03:27.000 You going through one?

00:03:28.000 You getting divorced?

00:03:30.000 What's his name?

00:03:31.000 Gary.

00:03:32.000 Why would they let us get married? 0.99

00:03:34.000 Why would they let us get married to begin with? 1.00

00:03:36.000 Men fucking fight. 1.00

00:03:37.000 We can't be marrying each other. 1.00

00:03:40.000 Anyway, go to LegalZoom.com.

00:03:42.000 Dad, why are you marrying him?

00:03:44.000 And see if you can get divorced from your boyfriend. 1.00

00:03:48.000 Is it a boy?

00:03:48.000 Your husband?

00:03:49.000 Whatever.

00:03:49.000 Yeah, my dad.

00:03:50.000 Whenever a gay dude says my husband, I always just go, okay. 1.00

00:03:53.000 It takes a second. 0.81

00:03:55.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:03:55.000 To prove you're okay with it, too.

00:03:56.000 I'm not judging, but like you said, husband, right?

00:03:59.000 Your guy?

00:04:00.000 All right.

00:04:00.000 Oh, okay.

00:04:01.000 Well, don't you believe it's possible?

00:04:01.000 All right.

00:04:03.000 I'm not homophobic at all, but if I see, and I live in New York, where if you see two guys making out, you're still like, weird.

00:04:08.000 Yeah, it is.

00:04:09.000 It is weird.

00:04:10.000 It's awkward a little still.

00:04:12.000 Well, it's always going to be if you're heterosexual, because for the most part you don't see it until you reach an adult age and then you're out in the wild with the wild homosexuals that just frequent these thoroughfares and these avenues. 1.00

00:04:24.000 If you're in the wrong spot, like if you're going down Santa Monica Boulevard, we should probably just start the podcast right here.

00:04:30.000 Joe, is there different levels of that where you look and see two people kissing and you're just like, you know what?

00:04:34.000 I'm a little hungry for that.

00:04:36.000 Or like, oh my god, that's hot.

00:04:38.000 Is it at all on and off, you think?

00:04:41.000 To who?

00:04:42.000 What are you saying?

00:04:43.000 Like if you're walking down the street and see...

00:04:45.000 Who, me?

00:04:45.000 Are you asking me?

00:04:46.000 Anybody.

00:04:47.000 If I walk down the street and I see two guys kiss each other, do I ever say, is that hot?

00:04:51.000 No, no, no.

00:04:52.000 Is it completely hilarious and weird or is it mildly like, oh, I see what they're doing there?

00:04:58.000 You should have thought this question out way, way before you tried to express yourself in such a complex manner.

00:05:05.000 It just seems very...

00:05:06.000 I wonder if there's different levels.

00:05:08.000 That's hilarious and creepy and weird sometimes.

00:05:10.000 Well, it depends on what the guys look like.

00:05:12.000 No, it doesn't!

00:05:13.000 Because there's a broad spectrum of masculine to feminine homosexuals, just like there are... 1.00

00:05:18.000 Women look different. 1.00

00:05:20.000 If you run into two of a certain type of women making out, it's not fun. 0.99

00:05:26.000 But if you, you know, it's uncomfortable.

00:05:28.000 But if you run into women that are just, for whatever reason, they flow together well, visually. 0.88

00:05:33.000 But if two Brad Pitts were kissing or a Brad Pitt and a George Clooney...

00:05:36.000 It would never be hot to me because I'm a straight male.

00:05:39.000 What it would be, I would sympathize.

00:05:42.000 I would say, you know, it's weird that I would judge and then I would hope that they don't run into anybody that's mean.

00:05:48.000 I'd do that.

00:05:49.000 Would you take a photo?

00:05:50.000 No, that's rude.

00:05:51.000 You have to if you saw them just making out against a telephone pole.

00:05:56.000 Depends.

00:05:56.000 If they start taking their pants off, I'd probably start filming.

00:06:00.000 Start going after it. 1.00

00:06:01.000 But then you get caught with gay porn on your phone. 1.00

00:06:03.000 And then illegally acquired gay porn. 1.00

00:06:05.000 You're a bad person and you're a creep. 1.00

00:06:07.000 Yeah, you're not supposed to be just filming people. 0.99

00:06:07.000 Is that illegal? 0.99

00:06:09.000 I don't think you're supposed to just film people.

00:06:12.000 I don't know what the rules are.

00:06:13.000 I guess if you do something publicly, it should be assumed that you're filming it.

00:06:17.000 But if you just took film with some guys, make it out and put it on YouTube.

00:06:20.000 Yeah, but if you make a website called Joe News, you can just say your news.

00:06:23.000 You just hang one of those signs around your neck, like when they do for TV shows, like...

00:06:26.000 Press! 0.92

00:06:27.000 ...filming in progress, if you walk through a Zoom that you will be shown.

00:06:31.000 Yeah.

00:06:31.000 LegalZoom.com.

00:06:32.000 Use the code word, Rogan.

00:06:34.000 LegalZoom could help you out with all these questions, probably.

00:06:36.000 I don't think they can.

00:06:37.000 Yeah, you can hire an attorney.

00:06:39.000 LegalZoom is developed by top attorneys to provide self-help services at your specific direction, but they are not a law firm. 0.99

00:06:45.000 They will provide you with a third-party attorney, though, if the shit hits the fan. 0.95

00:06:49.000 I have to say all this before we get done with this. 0.99

00:06:51.000 Otherwise, I'll be stuck in this commercial for an hour.

00:06:55.000 Anyway, we've used LegalZoom.

00:06:57.000 Brian used it to form Death Squad.

00:07:00.000 Aubrey used it to make Onnit.

00:07:03.000 It's an awesome service.

00:07:04.000 So you go to LegalZoom.com and use the code word ROGAN. And last but not least, we're brought to you by Onnit.com.

00:07:10.000 That is O-N-N-I-T, a human optimization website.

00:07:13.000 And Onnit is...

00:07:14.000 Right now releasing the newest of our artistic kettlebells, the werewolf kettlebell, the legend bells.

00:07:21.000 We have the zombie bells, of course, which I think we're out of.

00:07:25.000 I think that's what's going on on the website here.

00:07:28.000 I don't see the zombie bells.

00:07:29.000 We're out of them.

00:07:30.000 We still have the great apes. 0.92

00:07:31.000 We still have some of those, and I'm sure we'll have the zombie bells back because they were fucking awesome.

00:07:36.000 We got some other ones that are coming out, too.

00:07:38.000 We got some new ones.

00:07:39.000 Oh, that's nice, man.

00:07:40.000 Yeah, the werewolf's dope. 1.00

00:07:42.000 It's heavy as fuck, too. 1.00

00:07:43.000 The werewolf is a big one. 1.00

00:07:45.000 It's 65 pounds, 28 kilograms.

00:07:47.000 62 pounds.

00:07:49.000 So it's a good one to work out with.

00:07:50.000 They look so cool, but they hurt.

00:07:52.000 They hurt if you do any kind of, like, where you flip it over on your wrist.

00:07:56.000 I used to do one with a skull, and yeah, it would just crack my wrist.

00:07:58.000 Well, what you've got to do is, first of all, you've got to make sure that the face is outside, facing the opposite direction.

00:08:04.000 That's a simple solution, I guess.

00:08:06.000 Yeah, that's what you do.

00:08:07.000 But that's hard to do when you're tired.

00:08:09.000 But the other thing is you've got to learn the technique of, like, punching through.

00:08:13.000 Like, when you swing a kettlebell, there's a certain amount of control that you develop with it where it doesn't ever hurt your arm.

00:08:18.000 Because, like, a lot of times, people, when they're starting out especially, they'll put, like, wrist things on.

00:08:23.000 Like, they're trying to get an eagle to land on their arm.

00:08:25.000 Yeah.

00:08:26.000 We have big cushioned things so that when the kettlebell flips and hits it, it doesn't hurt.

00:08:30.000 But you get to know what's moving.

00:08:33.000 You're supposed to twist it, sort of.

00:08:35.000 Yeah, you twist it towards you first, and then as you're going up, you sort of punch through it.

00:08:40.000 If you do it in a smooth motion, it never really slams into your arm.

00:08:45.000 But the thing is, if you're doing them right, you're going to get tired.

00:08:47.000 And when you get tired, that's when your technique suffers. 0.99

00:08:49.000 That's when you can fuck yourself up. 0.99

00:08:51.000 Oh, technique suffering is... 0.99

00:08:52.000 I've done some...

00:08:53.000 Doing CrossFit, I did so much back damage because I just never worked hard on good form.

00:08:58.000 It's so important.

00:08:59.000 Yeah, welcome to the club.

00:09:00.000 There's so many people that have hurt themselves doing that kind of stuff, those powerlifting exercises.

00:09:05.000 You know, especially Steve...

00:09:09.000 Maxwell, who's a real expert in fitness.

00:09:12.000 He's in incredible shape.

00:09:14.000 He's 62 years old.

00:09:15.000 He's just an animal and just a wealth of knowledge.

00:09:18.000 He's not a fan of those type of workouts because he said that those powerlifting workouts should all be done with very strict form and very heavy weights and very low reps.

00:09:26.000 He's like, so they're essentially taking these These workouts that are all about this one big explosion and the most you can get up, and they're doing them over and over and over and over and over and over. 0.95

00:09:37.000 And some people can get away with that, but some people get really fucked up.

00:09:41.000 Well, they also have the element of competition to it, which I never really bought into because I was just trying to lose a lot of weight and get in shape.

00:09:47.000 So I looked at it as, like, whatever was on that board was my workout, but there was a competition element, so it is funny that they spend...

00:09:53.000 About the first 15 minutes of any CrossFit class I've done is showing you the form of today's workout.

00:09:58.000 This is the proper deadlift.

00:09:59.000 This is the proper, you know, like, clean, power clean.

00:10:03.000 And then they do that for 15 minutes, and then they go, all right, as fast as you can now for seven minutes.

00:10:08.000 It's so crazy.

00:10:09.000 And, you know, and these people are competitive people, and they want to win, so guys just, like...

00:10:14.000 You just see how they're bent over the wrong way.

00:10:17.000 Putting so much stress on your back.

00:10:19.000 For anybody that's thinking about doing any kind of workout with either kettlebells or even just regular weights, just dumbbells or barbells, please start off slow.

00:10:27.000 If you've never done any workout before, what working out is all about is tearing down your muscle fiber and then it heals.

00:10:34.000 And when it heals, it gets stronger.

00:10:35.000 You have to tear it down.

00:10:37.000 And then you have to recover.

00:10:38.000 The recovery is one of the most important parts, and that's one of the things that fucks up a lot of athletes. 0.62

00:10:43.000 It's one of the number one issues when it comes to wrestlers, like a lot of wrestlers, because they're so mentally tough, they overtrain, they fuck their body up because their body's never getting the proper rest.

00:10:52.000 You know, if you're not a competitive athlete that's in some sort of a program where you can't decide how much workout you have to do because you have to follow the team, if you're not in that kind of an athletic program and you can do it yourself... 0.98

00:11:03.000 Be fucking smart about it. 1.00

00:11:04.000 It's hard to do because everybody wants to just, God damn it, I've been a fat ass. 1.00

00:11:08.000 I've been eating donuts and drinking Cokes. 0.99

00:11:11.000 I'm going to clean up my diet and I'm going to work out like an animal.

00:11:13.000 If you do it too hard, too quick, you'll rip things apart.

00:11:16.000 You will.

00:11:16.000 Your body's not developed for it.

00:11:19.000 You've got to build up to those kind of workouts.

00:11:21.000 That's why steroids, what they do is they help you heal fast so you can work out harder.

00:11:27.000 Exactly.

00:11:27.000 That's such a funny misconception always about steroids where even in movies they would make it like they stick steroids in Drago's arm and he could just win fights.

00:11:36.000 People always treated Barry Bonds like that.

00:11:38.000 They were like, he takes steroids, he injects it in his arm so he can crack home runs.

00:11:41.000 It still requires a ton of exercise and workout.

00:11:44.000 Those guys work harder still than anybody else.

00:11:47.000 But you definitely have an advantage over everybody else who works hard if you're on it.

00:11:51.000 Without an argument.

00:11:51.000 I mean, none of these guys are taking it and then just being world beaters.

00:11:55.000 They're taking it and working out like demons and then being world beaters.

00:11:58.000 Yeah, there's a lot going on with that stuff.

00:12:01.000 But the real problem with it is it crashes their endocrine systems.

00:12:04.000 It fucks up their body.

00:12:05.000 I was watching this thing on Bodybuilders, man. 0.97

00:12:08.000 This video.

00:12:08.000 I was watching this online where this guy was interviewing a bodybuilder.

00:12:11.000 I responded to him.

00:12:12.000 It's in my timeline yesterday. 1.00

00:12:14.000 It's the craziest shit ever. 0.99

00:12:15.000 This dude who was a big-time competitive bodybuilder talked about how he got into it and talked about all the stuff that he was dumping into his body, and it's like, whoa! 1.00

00:12:23.000 Fucking pain pills every day, Vicodin, steroids, this, that. 0.98

00:12:28.000 His kidney was like 30. His kidney was ready to go. 1.00

00:12:31.000 They were like, dude, you're going to be on dialysis in a year.

00:12:34.000 It's over.

00:12:35.000 You're going to have to need new kidneys. 0.86

00:12:36.000 You're just crashing the whole party. 1.00

00:12:40.000 Just big giant purple fucking grape monster with needle marks and fucking veins everywhere. 1.00

00:12:48.000 And they just get addicted. 1.00

00:12:50.000 They get addicted to that thing of sticking chemicals in your body and making your body bigger and training like a monster.

00:12:55.000 You'd call them a junkie, too, if you saw what they did.

00:12:59.000 They had a plate.

00:13:00.000 I mean, I grew up with them.

00:13:01.000 My stepfather was a competitive powerlifter, so he knew a lot of friends who were bodybuilders and stuff, and you'd see these guys have a plate of pills in front of them every day.

00:13:09.000 Oh, my God.

00:13:10.000 Wow.

00:13:11.000 That's so crazy. 0.93

00:13:12.000 He has a junkie behavior. 0.74

00:13:13.000 Yeah, that's not healthy, folks.

00:13:15.000 But yeah, junkie behavior, it exists in a lot of forms.

00:13:18.000 It exists in gambling.

00:13:20.000 Gambling is the big one.

00:13:21.000 I'm around so many people.

00:13:23.000 I know so many people that have really crazy gambling problems.

00:13:26.000 That video that you just put up, Keith is going to be on the podcast.

00:13:28.000 We're working it out right now.

00:13:30.000 It looks like he'll be on October 10th.

00:13:32.000 Really looking forward to having him on and talking to him.

00:13:35.000 The video is the best workout video I've ever had.

00:13:38.000 The Extreme Kettlebell Cardio Workout Series.

00:13:41.000 They're so brutal.

00:13:42.000 That's all you need, folks.

00:13:43.000 You don't need a gym membership.

00:13:44.000 A DVD costs $30. 0.99

00:13:46.000 You take one kettlebell, a 35-pound kettlebell, and it will fuck you up. 0.78

00:13:51.000 I mean, literally, you don't need any more equipment. 0.89

00:13:53.000 And that kettlebell will be around to the end of time.

00:13:56.000 It's solid metal. 0.91

00:13:57.000 Those things, they're so fucking durable. 0.87

00:13:59.000 You never have to worry about them breaking. 0.68

00:14:01.000 I mean, you buy one, you have that for life.

00:14:03.000 You can pass those things, including the artistic ones.

00:14:06.000 The werewolf and the chimpanzee, those are solid cast steel.

00:14:09.000 I mean, those are iron kettlebells.

00:14:11.000 These are like the old Russian metal.

00:14:14.000 I guess it's...

00:14:16.000 I guess it's iron, but the Russians were the ones who developed these things, this design. 0.97

00:14:21.000 I mean, there's some of them, they make some of them that are like aluminum on the outside, and they're kind of weighted on the inside.

00:14:25.000 These are not those.

00:14:26.000 These are solid, solid metal, and they're awesome.

00:14:29.000 You can't get, like, any better quality kettlebells.

00:14:32.000 We found the best ones you can get online.

00:14:34.000 And they're a little more awkward in some ways to lift with than some of the, like, what they call competition kettlebells that are larger kettlebells but lighter.

00:14:42.000 But that awkwardness, I think, is good. 0.75

00:14:45.000 You know, everybody's trying to be fucking comfortable. 0.99

00:14:47.000 With these goddamn things, they're difficult to use, and that's how I do my squats now. 0.99

00:14:52.000 I put a 70 in each hand, and I do those things. 0.99

00:14:55.000 Jesus. 1.00

00:14:56.000 Go all the way down to your ass touches your calves and just think you're fucking fighting for your life. 1.00

00:14:56.000 It's awesome. 1.00

00:15:02.000 Think that werewolves are chasing you and shit while you're holding on to it? 0.99

00:15:05.000 I do. 0.99

00:15:06.000 I think that, like, my life's in danger.

00:15:08.000 I think I'm, like, I'm on a hunting trip and I'm trying to get up a tree and a bear's chasing me or something.

00:15:12.000 Do you have, like, the werewolf ones, like, are, like, right here going, I'm coming!

00:15:17.000 It's funny, someone referred to that kind of training as like apocalypse training.

00:15:21.000 Yeah.

00:15:22.000 You know, it's all functional movement.

00:15:23.000 Yeah.

00:15:23.000 What could you do?

00:15:24.000 That functional movement is like, it's huge.

00:15:27.000 Yeah.

00:15:27.000 Like pull-ups and stuff like that, even just those basic movements.

00:15:30.000 Like, it's amazing how I can't do a pull-up still.

00:15:32.000 Like, if I was...

00:15:33.000 I remember I always feel that feeling if you were like falling from a building and in movies they'll catch themselves in a ledge and they're like...

00:15:40.000 I was just going to delay me dying for a couple more seconds.

00:15:40.000 Yeah.

00:15:43.000 Like, I couldn't possibly pull my body.

00:15:45.000 Maybe.

00:15:46.000 Maybe with an adrenaline shot, I shoot up, but something tells me if I had to pull my own body weight up a building, I'd be gone.

00:15:52.000 If you had to catch yourself by your hands, you'd have to be like one of those parkour dudes.

00:15:56.000 Those super gymnast dudes.

00:15:56.000 Sure.

00:15:58.000 Most of us would just spaz off the building and fucking crash to our death. 1.00

00:16:02.000 Or if they had coke nails, they would probably like... 1.00

00:16:04.000 Like werewolf coke nails?

00:16:07.000 Have you ever seen those Russian guys who go out on the cranes? 1.00

00:16:10.000 Yeah.

00:16:10.000 And do chin-ups and stuff?

00:16:11.000 Dude, I can't watch that shit. 0.99

00:16:12.000 It makes my legs feel weird. 1.00

00:16:15.000 Onnit.com.

00:16:16.000 O-N-N-I-T. We don't have to end this. 0.98

00:16:17.000 We can't end this, rather.

00:16:19.000 We don't have to do any music. 1.00

00:16:21.000 Fuck it. 1.00

00:16:21.000 We're just talking. 1.00

00:16:22.000 Use the code with Rogan.

00:16:23.000 Save 10% off any and all supplements. 0.97

00:16:25.000 A lot of new shit in. 0.98

00:16:27.000 Including, if you haven't had it yet, the Warrior Bars, which are the most awesome fucking thing ever. 0.99

00:16:32.000 This thing that we had made, it's an ancient Lakota recipe. 0.94

00:16:36.000 It's organic buffalo meat.

00:16:38.000 I'm bringing stacks of these when I go up to Alaska.

00:16:41.000 No antibiotics, no added hormones, and it's got 14 grams of protein and 140 calories.

00:16:47.000 Four grams of fat for every two-ounce serving.

00:16:50.000 Very healthy for you. 1.00

00:16:51.000 All kinds of cool shit on it. 0.97

00:16:52.000 And again, use the code word Rogan, save 10% off any and all supplements. 0.96

00:16:56.000 Brian, cue the music! 0.98

00:17:01.000 Is it fucking up again? 0.98

00:17:02.000 No, you said you didn't want to do music, so I unplugged it. 0.98

00:17:05.000 Oh, you already unplugged it? 1.00

00:17:07.000 That's how wonky our fucking system is. 0.99

00:17:09.000 We need a better system where you can't just unplug. 0.99

00:17:12.000 Oh, no, I mean, I usually unplug it just so nothing bad happens. 0.97

00:17:16.000 Like, in the middle of it, I get, like, an instant message or something, and you're like, what the fuck was that?

00:17:19.000 Do you get instant messages on your iPad?

00:17:21.000 No, but I'm saying if something like that were to happen, you know?

00:17:24.000 Gotcha.

00:17:24.000 Big J! What up, dog?

00:17:26.000 Yeah, buddy.

00:17:27.000 Thanks for coming in, man.

00:17:28.000 It's very exciting.

00:17:28.000 Thank you for having me.

00:17:29.000 What is that?

00:17:30.000 Is that an e-cigarette you're puffing on? 0.99

00:17:32.000 You know, Congress is trying to fucking ban those, finally. 0.99

00:17:34.000 That's fine. 0.99

00:17:35.000 They're stepping in.

00:17:36.000 The government's stepping up and ending these evil, evil e-cigarettes that are stealing money from the mouths of the babies of the families that own the tobacco companies.

00:17:45.000 Which is Marlboro.

00:17:48.000 Who makes your preferred brand?

00:17:51.000 And I do the Logic Zero, no nicotine.

00:17:51.000 Logic.

00:17:55.000 That's no nicotine.

00:17:57.000 So it's like just a habit thing.

00:17:57.000 Oh, I see.

00:18:00.000 Crutch, yeah, but I haven't.

00:18:03.000 I actually looked yesterday on my 29 days from a year.

00:18:05.000 That's interesting.

00:18:06.000 That's interesting, like a zero tobacco thing that just fills the habit.

00:18:11.000 Pure water vapor, yeah.

00:18:13.000 Wow, and there's no feeling whatsoever.

00:18:15.000 Do you get like a little mental thing that happens?

00:18:18.000 A mental thing, yeah.

00:18:19.000 When I get the itch to go, like the things I've always wanted to do.

00:18:22.000 What are you putting up?

00:18:24.000 New York just said that now e-cigarettes are allowed to have paid commercials during movies now.

00:18:30.000 What?

00:18:31.000 They haven't had that for 16 years since regular cigarettes were allowed.

00:18:35.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:18:36.000 You mean before the movie plays?

00:18:38.000 Yeah, like paid product placements.

00:18:40.000 But wait a minute, that's not a product placement.

00:18:40.000 Oh.

00:18:42.000 Is that before the movie or in the movie?

00:18:44.000 Paid product placements in films has been off-limits for tobacco companies for 16 years.

00:18:48.000 So now they're allowed to have paid...

00:18:50.000 In movies, they're allowed to be paid.

00:18:53.000 So what you're saying is if you watch The Incredibles or whatever, they're smoking e-cigarettes.

00:18:59.000 They're going to be paid for that.

00:19:00.000 I don't know why I said The Incredibles.

00:19:01.000 I was going to say, what's the November Man?

00:19:08.000 What's the new one?

00:19:10.000 So if he's smoking an e-cigarette, it's one of those things.

00:19:14.000 Right.

00:19:15.000 If he gets paid to do it.

00:19:16.000 That's so weird.

00:19:18.000 They do that on television.

00:19:20.000 You know, like, you'll only be able to use, like, Mac computers on some shows.

00:19:23.000 It's so weirdly obvious, too.

00:19:25.000 I just remember American Idol, like, every judge happened to be drinking a Coke turned out to the right.

00:19:29.000 Yeah.

00:19:30.000 Well, there's that, too, and there's just...

00:19:32.000 There's also, like, on certain shows, like, you'll see everything, even movies, you'll see, like, every product is a Sony...

00:19:38.000 And they'll close up on the Sony phone when someone gets a phone call, so you see the Sony logo, and it'll be on a Vio laptop, and you go, oh, Sony has a deal in this movie.

00:19:48.000 Actually, when it's not Sony, it seems like they always use Apple computers, and they always have the sticker over the Apple logo or iPhones, but they have the Apple logo covered up for some reason, like every single TV show.

00:20:00.000 So it's almost like Apple's like, no, you have to pay us to show the Apple logo.

00:20:05.000 No, you got it totally wrong.

00:20:07.000 It's the opposite.

00:20:08.000 They don't get paid by Apple, so they cover it up.

00:20:11.000 That's what it is.

00:20:12.000 If Apple paid them...

00:20:13.000 Yeah, they're like, we're not going to advertise your thing.

00:20:15.000 But isn't it weird that it seems like every show does use Apple products in all their shows?

00:20:19.000 They want to, you know?

00:20:20.000 There's like a cult of Apple in Hollywood, for sure. 0.99

00:20:23.000 You know, I'm not sucking my own dick, but I did a show called P. Diddy's Bad Boys of Comedy on HBO. And that was, it turns out, that was just an entire season of a TV show to promote Sean John clothing. 0.99

00:20:35.000 Really?

00:20:36.000 And they made you, you had to wear Sean John clothing, yeah.

00:20:38.000 You had to wear it when you did stand-up?

00:20:40.000 So they dressed me up in, like, hip-hop clothes.

00:20:42.000 It's great.

00:20:42.000 It's really amazing.

00:20:43.000 You had to wear their clothes to do stand-up on their show.

00:20:45.000 Yeah, and all they could find in my size was a short-sleeve, like, zip-up sweater that said, Sean John.

00:20:51.000 I'm Oh my god.

00:20:52.000 And I was about 70 pounds heavier than I am now.

00:20:54.000 Wait a minute.

00:20:55.000 You did stand up with a Sean John shirt on because they made you wear it?

00:20:59.000 Oh yeah.

00:21:00.000 I mean, I did BET's Comic View with it.

00:21:01.000 My pant leg rolled up in my first year of comedy, I think.

00:21:04.000 One pant leg rolled up, like LL Cool J. I bought it in full wigger. 1.00

00:21:08.000 I went hard on it.

00:21:09.000 Did you?

00:21:10.000 For how long?

00:21:11.000 Just, you know what it was? 0.94

00:21:12.000 I figured out, I started out in a black comedy room, and I just found out I could fucking destroy if I just went right to them on that level. 0.98

00:21:20.000 Now, I actually loathe that kind of comedy. 0.96

00:21:23.000 And it's fun to expose that. 0.86

00:21:24.000 Like the white guy who goes into a black room and just like, come on, y'all! 1.00

00:21:28.000 You know when you buy a bitch a drink, and then that bitch walk away? 1.00

00:21:32.000 I'm gonna go dancing with that drink, bitch! 1.00

00:21:34.000 I bought it! 1.00

00:21:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:36.000 You know, every joke's like, you up in a club!

00:21:38.000 Yeah.

00:21:38.000 Well, there's a few white guys who take on that role with zealous intention.

00:21:44.000 Yeah?

00:21:44.000 There's a few of those white guys.

00:21:46.000 There's always, like, one or two of those out there that, like, get known as a white guy who does black rooms.

00:21:52.000 Oh, man.

00:21:52.000 Yeah.

00:21:53.000 Gary Owen. 1.00

00:21:54.000 When I watch him, it blows my goddamn mind. 0.99

00:21:57.000 It's like listening to... 0.99

00:21:57.000 I have no idea. 0.99

00:22:00.000 What's funny is that when you...

00:22:02.000 If they turn the microphones off on the audience, you'd be like...

00:22:06.000 And you said there's all black people in the audience.

00:22:08.000 You'd be like, well, they're probably furious, right, at what's happening. 0.99

00:22:10.000 Like, they're basically being called clowns. 0.98

00:22:12.000 Like, they won't understand a white guy unless he does this. 1.00

00:22:15.000 And then you turn on the volume of the audience, and they're just roaring, high-fiving, just losing their shit in the audience. 0.99

00:22:20.000 You're like, really? 0.98

00:22:20.000 It's such like a... 0.98

00:22:22.000 It's such a grand scheme pander.

00:22:24.000 It blows my mind.

00:22:25.000 You're allowed to do that pander though.

00:22:27.000 As long as it's like positive, you're allowed to do that pander.

00:22:31.000 If you do it good.

00:22:32.000 It seems phony.

00:22:34.000 It seems so phony.

00:22:35.000 It seems really phony.

00:22:36.000 Because there's guys I worked with in the black circuit when I started that like...

00:22:40.000 Fantastic comics, black...

00:22:41.000 Bill Burr used to do some of those rooms, you know?

00:22:44.000 But isn't it weird that, like, no one has any issue whatsoever with a black guy who does, like, alternative comedy?

00:22:52.000 Like that really deadpan, you know, very white, nerdy comedy. 0.86

00:22:57.000 No one would say he's taking on the affectation of the white nerds.

00:23:02.000 No, but I'll tell you what. 1.00

00:23:03.000 That guy eats shit in a real black comedy room. 1.00

00:23:07.000 The black nerd? 1.00

00:23:07.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:23:08.000 Right, right. 0.99

00:23:09.000 The black nerd is not accepted by... 1.00

00:23:09.000 The black nerd. 1.00

00:23:10.000 No. 1.00

00:23:11.000 Well, the white guy who acts like a black guy eats shit in a lot of white comedy clubs. 1.00

00:23:16.000 Yeah, that's what happened when I first came to New York and I was gay. 1.00

00:23:19.000 Look at you! 1.00

00:23:20.000 It was ridiculous. 0.99

00:23:23.000 Wow! 0.99

00:23:23.000 Look at that pumpkin face. 0.99

00:23:24.000 It's so crazy that they make you wear their clothes.

00:23:27.000 This lady would not stop hunting. 1.00

00:23:29.000 You couldn't say no.

00:23:31.000 Couldn't say no.

00:23:32.000 It was a part of the deal.

00:23:34.000 Wow.

00:23:34.000 Yeah.

00:23:34.000 There was also some contract where, in that words, he was your manager for three years beyond that show or something.

00:23:42.000 Really?

00:23:42.000 He got a managerial cut of anything, because assuming anything you got...

00:23:47.000 Moving forward from P. Diddy's Bad Boys of Comedy somehow was because of P. Diddy.

00:23:51.000 That's no joke, man.

00:23:52.000 I've seen that in reality show contracts. 0.58

00:23:54.000 I've seen that where friends were thinking about going on a reality show, and they brought the contract to someone, and it turns out, say, if they created some new show, like a Real Housewives type show, and then you became the breakout star and took off and had cookbooks and shit like a lot of these chicks do and started making bank. 1.00

00:24:13.000 They get a big, fat piece of that, man.

00:24:15.000 That's not all yours on some of these contracts.

00:24:18.000 Oh yeah, because it'll even be called Oxygen Networks, whatever chick presents... 1.00

00:24:23.000 Yeah, it could be.

00:24:24.000 I mean, you're allowed to use that in your credit, as seen on Sean Diddy's Bad Boys Comedy.

00:24:30.000 You're allowed to use that.

00:24:31.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:24:32.000 What a ridiculous show. 0.99

00:24:33.000 But they'll own you. 0.95

00:24:34.000 They're saying that you have no value other than the value that they gave you.

00:24:39.000 I mean, they own it.

00:24:40.000 They don't benefit from having a talented person on their show that rewards them and gives them ratings, which in turn gives them more advertising.

00:24:48.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:24:49.000 They want a piece of your future prosperity.

00:24:52.000 Your future prosperity based on you being an entertaining person that they put on television.

00:24:58.000 So not only do they want to pay people just a shit tiny amount of money, then they want to script what they're doing, but then treat them like they're not even actors.

00:25:05.000 They treat them like they're these weird slaves. 0.88

00:25:07.000 These robots that they made to put out there in the world.

00:25:09.000 Yeah, because no actors let anybody do that. 0.95

00:25:12.000 You don't get on a sitcom and they say, okay, we own all your book sales and your fucking, you know, anything you do in the movies or anything from here on out.

00:25:20.000 But the reality stars, though, Are you totally against it? 0.53

00:25:22.000 Because there's some issue of the reality stars that are completely made by the network.

00:25:27.000 They are.

00:25:27.000 So what, though?

00:25:29.000 How is it any different than actors?

00:25:32.000 Because actors are better at it?

00:25:33.000 Because they treat it as a craft?

00:25:35.000 Because there is a skill there.

00:25:36.000 Yeah, there's something that's like... 0.99

00:25:37.000 What about the ones that suck?

00:25:41.000 But I mean, do you think Snooki should always give some kickback to MTV to some degree? 0.95

00:25:48.000 Chef Gordon Ramsay?

00:25:50.000 I think those are his shows.

00:25:53.000 I don't know.

00:25:53.000 He's on like four different shows.

00:25:55.000 Yeah, but I think those are his shows.

00:25:56.000 Yeah, he creates those.

00:25:57.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:25:58.000 He's a pretty famous dude.

00:25:59.000 That's not a good example.

00:26:00.000 And he also has a skill.

00:26:02.000 It's like he's a world-renowned chef.

00:26:04.000 It's not like Snooki.

00:26:05.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:26:06.000 You're talking about a guy who's already famous.

00:26:08.000 It depends on what you do, though.

00:26:10.000 If you're like the guy who's on The Bachelor and he owns like a horse stable, if after that show the horse stables business picks up huge, Dude, I think that's crazy talk.

00:26:28.000 I think a person who's working for you when they're doing something like that, if you're a producer of a television show or an executive in a network or what have you...

00:26:36.000 I don't know who's getting the money.

00:26:38.000 You hire someone.

00:26:39.000 You're hiring someone because you think that they're going to be the best performer in this production that you're putting on.

00:26:45.000 Let's stop pretending they're reality shows. 1.00

00:26:47.000 The only reality show is fucking cops. 1.00

00:26:50.000 You know how you know it's a reality show? 1.00

00:26:51.000 Because one of the guys got shot and killed the other day because it's real.

00:26:54.000 Really?

00:26:55.000 Yeah, one of the sound guys.

00:26:57.000 And they filmed the whole thing like regular cops style.

00:26:59.000 Yeah, the guy got shot and killed. 1.00

00:27:00.000 The fucking sound guy did. 1.00

00:27:02.000 That's the only real reality show. 0.99

00:27:03.000 There's videos out there?

00:27:04.000 No, it hasn't been released.

00:27:05.000 Yeah, it's a really recent thing.

00:27:07.000 But when you're watching a lot of these shows, whether it's about selling cars or whether it's about being in a pawn shop...

00:27:14.000 It's all rigged.

00:27:15.000 Yep, it is.

00:27:16.000 Everybody knows what the subject's going to be beforehand.

00:27:19.000 They know what the scenario is.

00:27:22.000 They're painting.

00:27:22.000 So you're basically an actor.

00:27:24.000 You're some quasi-actor, okay?

00:27:26.000 They can't put you on the show. 1.00

00:27:30.000 Say if we do fucking Big J's Grill House, and I decided, fuck it. 1.00

00:27:35.000 I should do it. 1.00

00:27:36.000 I'm going whole hog.

00:27:37.000 And then you see like a hog spinning around on a thing.

00:27:40.000 I do stand-up comedy, but I also love cooking.

00:27:43.000 So I decided to open up.

00:27:44.000 And then they, what, they own you?

00:27:46.000 They own you?

00:27:47.000 They own a piece of you forever? 1.00

00:27:48.000 That's more shit. 1.00

00:27:49.000 The reason why they want you on the show in the first place, whether you're some crazy housewife that fucking gets pilled up and starts screaming at people, or whether you're Charlie Sheen, if he ever does a reality show, the reason why they want you is because they think people are going to tune into you and they're going to benefit from that. 1.00

00:28:04.000 They can't own you because they made you. 1.00

00:28:06.000 Fuck off! 1.00

00:28:07.000 No, you're right. 1.00

00:28:08.000 Who are you talking about originally?

00:28:09.000 I can't even remember who you're talking about.

00:28:11.000 I'm not talking about anybody in specific.

00:28:12.000 I'm talking about these reality shows.

00:28:14.000 These reality shows where they take people, and we're talking about him being forced to wear those shirts, and I'm saying that these shows, like him saying that he was going to be managing him for three years afterwards, they connect people in these weird ways where they'll own you for a long time.

00:28:32.000 After your thing, they'll get a kickback.

00:28:34.000 But I guess you're right.

00:28:34.000 Even in the example that I use, I guess Snooki really, she was cast to do something.

00:28:38.000 Of course she was.

00:28:39.000 In essence, she is an actor.

00:28:40.000 When that camera's on you, man, let's be real.

00:28:43.000 It's very difficult for people to be themselves.

00:28:46.000 It's just very difficult.

00:28:47.000 When the camera's on you and they say, ready, go, you're performing.

00:28:51.000 Whether you're performing in some weird sort of sitcom-ish reality show that's just not based on reality. 0.99

00:29:00.000 I know what the fuck is really going on. 0.97

00:29:02.000 Did you see Alan Thicke's show? 1.00

00:29:04.000 What?

00:29:05.000 Alan Thicke had this reality show.

00:29:07.000 You would watch him and you'd go, why didn't you just do a sitcom?

00:29:10.000 Because it's just so set up.

00:29:11.000 It's so set up.

00:29:12.000 Everything is set up.

00:29:13.000 Yeah, the Gene Simmons thing is like that too, right?

00:29:14.000 Exactly.

00:29:15.000 It's sad and I love Gene Simmons.

00:29:17.000 I love Gene Simmons.

00:29:18.000 Do you have a Kiss shirt on?

00:29:19.000 Yeah.

00:29:19.000 I love Kiss.

00:29:20.000 I found a letter the other day.

00:29:22.000 Paul Stanley's coming in.

00:29:23.000 I found a letter the other day that I wrote to some magazine when I was 11 years old.

00:29:30.000 Like a Kiss letter.

00:29:31.000 Yeah, my mom saved it.

00:29:32.000 So I'm going to bring it in and read it to Paul Stanley.

00:29:35.000 What's his new show?

00:29:36.000 Don't they have a new show?

00:29:37.000 Gene Simmons has a new show.

00:29:38.000 Him and Paul Stanley have some arena football show.

00:29:40.000 I don't know what they're doing.

00:29:43.000 I don't know what they're doing.

00:29:45.000 But the reality show, those are hard to watch.

00:29:48.000 Especially with ones like, why is Mark Wahlberg doing a reality?

00:29:52.000 He's killing it in life. 0.88

00:29:54.000 Yeah, but he's getting exposed as being a doofus by his reality show. 0.96

00:29:58.000 That's what I mean. 0.88

00:29:59.000 It makes him look like...

00:30:00.000 It just looks like a desperate move when it's not.

00:30:03.000 It's a narcissistic move, I guess.

00:30:05.000 I don't even think it's that.

00:30:05.000 I think he probably wants to help all those other people out.

00:30:08.000 That's helping his brothers.

00:30:09.000 Yeah, he's helping his brothers and his family out.

00:30:11.000 It's admirable.

00:30:11.000 He's sick of helping them, like, actually helping them, like, giving them money, so it's like, come earn a little bit, I guess.

00:30:16.000 Having him a part of it, without a doubt, I mean, he's a mega movie star.

00:30:19.000 Having him a part of it ensures its success.

00:30:22.000 People want to see Mark Wahlberg hanging around with his family, period.

00:30:25.000 I'll watch a show, a reality show that I find interesting to some degree, at least give it a couple chances.

00:30:31.000 I very much enjoy Mark Wahlberg.

00:30:34.000 Yeah.

00:30:35.000 Couldn't even drum up a reason to give it a shot to watch that.

00:30:39.000 It's hard.

00:30:40.000 Other than to watch it for the wrong reasons.

00:30:42.000 And if he's welcoming that, that's kind of weird.

00:30:44.000 Well, what we were saying earlier I think is really true about these reality shows being completely scripted.

00:30:49.000 But the reason why is because these kind of shows can happen where they're just boring.

00:30:54.000 Nothing's happening.

00:30:55.000 You know, if the Kardashians aren't fighting with their mom or fighting with their boyfriend or this guy's out of rehab or that girl's pregnant, it's always like something you're tuning into.

00:31:02.000 There's always some chaos.

00:31:02.000 So they know how to hook you up.

00:31:04.000 Oh, the best one is the best show by far.

00:31:07.000 And I recommend it, actually.

00:31:09.000 Like, watch it.

00:31:09.000 It's great.

00:31:10.000 Even if you skim through it on DVR. The Bad Girls Club.

00:31:13.000 You ever see that?

00:31:14.000 I've heard of it.

00:31:15.000 I could watch that over and over.

00:31:16.000 I can't force myself. 1.00

00:31:17.000 They're pieces of shit. 1.00

00:31:18.000 I mean, these chicks are garbage. 1.00

00:31:21.000 And every week they fight... 1.00

00:31:23.000 Don't put it in the end of it online.

00:31:24.000 They fight over...

00:31:26.000 Just immediately, out of the gates. 1.00

00:31:28.000 It's like, this bitch thinks she's cute. 1.00

00:31:30.000 And they're like, what'd you say, bitch? 1.00

00:31:31.000 And then they... 1.00

00:31:33.000 Hospital fights.

00:31:34.000 Fights that get in the hospital.

00:31:35.000 Well, that's how they stay on television.

00:31:37.000 Oh, yeah.

00:31:37.000 And then the producers come out and they say, like, look, we let you guys fight.

00:31:41.000 You know, it happens.

00:31:41.000 But you hit her in the eyeball with a high heel.

00:31:45.000 So we're going to have to ask you to leave.

00:31:47.000 And that's like a teary, like, you know, I'm going to miss my girls. 0.62

00:31:50.000 It's ridiculous. 1.00

00:31:52.000 Hit her in the eyeball with a high heel. 1.00

00:31:54.000 Yeah, man. 0.98

00:31:55.000 And people will take things to the next level because that's how you get noticed.

00:31:58.000 If you don't take things to the very next level, you don't get noticed.

00:32:02.000 Yeah, it works.

00:32:02.000 I mean, that's why...

00:32:03.000 I mean, the UFC is such a great example of that.

00:32:05.000 Buried boxing, you know what I mean?

00:32:07.000 It sort of has.

00:32:08.000 Well, the problem with boxing is there's only like a few big stars.

00:32:12.000 There's like a few fights that you want to see.

00:32:14.000 And...

00:32:15.000 They're just going to punch, like the Floyd Waverweather, Maidana fight this past weekend.

00:32:20.000 Mayweather's a master.

00:32:21.000 He's a master boxer.

00:32:22.000 It's beautiful to watch.

00:32:23.000 I mean, he really knows how to fight.

00:32:24.000 I mean, he's just one of the rare, like him and Bernard Hopkins, James Toney is a good example.

00:32:30.000 Just the real Andre Ward, just boxing masters.

00:32:34.000 Like, if you understand how difficult it is, what they're doing, it's amazing to watch.

00:32:38.000 Yeah, but you're watching a guy paint a really beautiful picture where...

00:32:41.000 In MMA, you get that too, and you get to satisfy that gladiator urge that you want to see two guys fight.

00:32:47.000 My ears perk up on any time I see people fighting on the street or anything.

00:32:52.000 Yeah, that's human DNA. Well, just the added elements of takedowns and chokes and slams, and it makes it more crazy kicks.

00:33:00.000 And if you're a guy who's a fighter, if you're a young man who can box...

00:33:03.000 The reason why there's no stars, I think, is you're almost like, I could probably learn some spin kicks and really...

00:33:08.000 That's such a much more glorious way to win.

00:33:11.000 Anthony Pettis' cage kicks wins are the prettiest thing you've ever...

00:33:16.000 Better than any...

00:33:17.000 Or at least...

00:33:19.000 Tied with any great Tyson knockout.

00:33:22.000 And I love Tyson knockouts. 0.97

00:33:23.000 Yeah, without a doubt.

00:33:23.000 Brian, what are you doing?

00:33:24.000 There's that fight that we were talking about earlier where a student, a black girl, attacks a teacher and starts slapping him. 0.65

00:33:33.000 Don't say what it is.

00:33:33.000 Let's show it.

00:33:34.000 Are we going to get in trouble for this?

00:33:36.000 No.

00:33:37.000 Is this World Star Hip Hop? 0.70

00:33:38.000 No, I think it was on the news.

00:33:40.000 So this is like someone filmed it with their iPhone.

00:33:43.000 Is that what happened?

00:33:43.000 Yeah.

00:33:46.000 Oh, don't worry about shit. 1.00

00:33:50.000 Whoa, shit! 1.00

00:33:54.000 Oh my god, she's attacking the teacher. 1.00

00:33:58.000 Whoa, this is crazy!

00:34:00.000 This chick is just swinging at the teacher. 1.00

00:34:03.000 Oh, he judo hip-tossed her and held her down. 0.70

00:34:12.000 Whoa, that's crazy.

00:34:14.000 That school needs crazy Joe Clark. 1.00

00:34:16.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:34:17.000 They need to lean on me, principal. 1.00

00:34:18.000 I think I would have went more crazy. 0.96

00:34:20.000 He handled it way better than if that chick started slapping me. 1.00

00:34:23.000 Well, this gets into the subject of what we were talking about the other day with Anthony Cumia getting hit on the street while he's taking photographs.

00:34:31.000 People don't react well.

00:34:32.000 That guy reacted very well to getting hit.

00:34:34.000 He didn't hit back.

00:34:35.000 A lot of people just hit back when they get hit.

00:34:40.000 Especially if you're a man and you're hitting a woman. 0.99

00:34:42.000 Anytime people are hitting people, if a woman hits you, it's fucking dangerous, man. 0.99

00:34:46.000 Getting punched in the face is... 0.99

00:34:48.000 Everybody thinks that a woman can punch you in the face and you're going to be fine. 1.00

00:34:52.000 There's a lot of women that will knock you the fuck out, man. 1.00

00:34:55.000 Especially if they connect on your jaw. 0.99

00:34:57.000 You can't be hitting people.

00:34:59.000 And if you do hit people, man, you've got to be really careful who you're hitting.

00:35:04.000 Because if they hit you back, like if that guy just decided to tee off on that chick, I mean, you see the way he threw her to the ground?

00:35:09.000 That's a guy who knows martial arts, for sure.

00:35:12.000 And he was avoiding all of her hitting him, but he wasn't hitting her back.

00:35:15.000 But if he did, man, you're running in flailing your arms and some guy uncorks one on your face.

00:35:20.000 You fall back, you're unconscious.

00:35:21.000 You're going to bounce your head off the ground. 1.00

00:35:23.000 And sometimes people die from that shit. 1.00

00:35:24.000 Yep. 1.00

00:35:25.000 And that's a real problem.

00:35:26.000 When people get knocked out, they fall down, and they hit their head on the ground and die.

00:35:31.000 It's like you're pretty much maybe having a really bad car accident with your face.

00:35:35.000 Yeah, it's just like that.

00:35:37.000 The ground is completely...

00:35:39.000 Like, there's...

00:35:42.000 It resists 100%.

00:35:44.000 There's no give to it.

00:35:46.000 If you fall on dirt, you're going to be probably okay.

00:35:49.000 If you fall on a grassy area, you'll get a concussion.

00:35:52.000 But you might crack your head wide open if you fall on concrete.

00:35:56.000 I've seen it, man.

00:35:57.000 Like a bowling ball.

00:35:58.000 You ever dropped a bowling ball?

00:35:59.000 That sound?

00:36:00.000 Imagine that's your head.

00:36:01.000 Yeah, and the amount of distance that your head travels.

00:36:04.000 If you're a six-foot-tall man and someone knocks you out, you're probably going to travel a good five and a half, six feet.

00:36:10.000 I mean, depending on how you're standing, you go unconscious, that's a lot of distance, probably more than six feet, because you're going to fall back first, too.

00:36:20.000 I mean, there's probably going to be a lot of momentum connected to your head bouncing off that concrete.

00:36:25.000 It's awful.

00:36:26.000 It's awful. 1.00

00:36:27.000 Those fucking videos freak me out, man. 1.00

00:36:29.000 Oh, the fight videos? 1.00

00:36:31.000 Yeah.

00:36:31.000 There's some crazy face kicks and stuff.

00:36:32.000 I can't believe...

00:36:33.000 I'm almost so shocked at the mentality of someone that can inflict that kind of harm on somebody.

00:36:39.000 I always think that there's a lot of them out there that people aren't aware of.

00:36:44.000 So I'm not shocked when I see it. 0.95

00:36:46.000 I'm always like, I fucking knew it. 0.88

00:36:48.000 I know there's people like that out there. 0.95

00:36:49.000 I know there's people that have experienced just... 1.00

00:36:52.000 Awful shit from the time they were born. 0.99

00:36:54.000 If you grow up in a household where everybody's beating the fuck out of everybody, and you go to school, and people beat the fuck out of everybody, and you see abuse, and you see people are going to jail left and right, and life has no value, and you're seeing people die, that's what you're seeing. 1.00

00:37:08.000 When you watch those world star hip-hop tapes where a dude's out cold, and guys are running by just punting him in the head, I've seen a bunch of those.

00:37:15.000 Yeah, me too.

00:37:16.000 It's shocking that someone can do it to somebody else.

00:37:19.000 That's a wake-up call for people, man.

00:37:21.000 Unless you're...

00:37:21.000 If your life was directly threatened, and you were in that kind of a rage, maybe...

00:37:27.000 I mean, once somebody's down...

00:37:28.000 I don't know, I've been in a...

00:37:29.000 I'd say for a guy my age, a decent amount of street fights in my life, but I've never...

00:37:35.000 I've never had, like, a kill urge, ever.

00:37:38.000 You know, I've lost, I've won, but even when I win, like...

00:37:41.000 When it's over, it's kind of over.

00:37:42.000 You know what I mean?

00:37:42.000 I've never, like, tried to put somebody, like, you know, hospitalized.

00:37:45.000 I guess it would depend on why you're fighting, right?

00:37:48.000 Yes, but that's almost my point.

00:37:49.000 But even if, like, I don't know... 0.99

00:37:50.000 What if it was a guy beating the shit out of your girlfriend? 1.00

00:37:53.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:37:54.000 Sure.

00:37:54.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:37:54.000 Like, what if you pulled up somewhere and just got there right when a guy was beating the shit out of your girlfriend?

00:38:00.000 I'm not saying not to knock him out, but I mean, like, to punch somebody's head, like, I don't know. 0.99

00:38:04.000 I just don't know where my killer rage kicks in. 0.88

00:38:06.000 Like, actual murderous rage, I don't know where that level is in me.

00:38:09.000 Yeah, I think...

00:38:10.000 I think it's pretty deep.

00:38:11.000 I'm a pretty mellow dude.

00:38:12.000 Yeah, but I think if you were confronted...

00:38:14.000 I mean, you might be.

00:38:15.000 I don't know you.

00:38:16.000 But if you were confronted by someone that you were trying to protect, someone that you cared about very much, and you're trying to protect them, that's when people get murderous, when they feel like someone is trying to murder someone you love.

00:38:28.000 That's when people get murderous.

00:38:29.000 That's a very common one.

00:38:32.000 But as I'm saying, my point is being like, I promise whatever the situations were, On the World Star Hip Hop videos where guys are getting face-punted, I promise they weren't...

00:38:40.000 It wasn't calling for that.

00:38:42.000 Yeah, you most likely...

00:38:43.000 Punting a guy who's already unconscious. 1.00

00:38:45.000 Well, I've seen a few of them where it's people just being drunk idiots. 1.00

00:38:47.000 Yeah, laughing. 1.00

00:38:47.000 Yeah, or talking shit, or starting a fight when they were too drunk and they got knocked out, and then once they were out, everybody just started taking free shots at them. 1.00

00:38:54.000 Did you ever see that... 0.99

00:38:55.000 It's literally the worst people in the world...

00:39:00.000 Quite possibly.

00:39:01.000 And I think you would agree, especially someone who's trained in martial arts, which you have.

00:39:05.000 Have you ever seen that video of the guy, the weird homeless black guy, who's crazy and he goes into the karate studio? 0.98

00:39:11.000 Oh yeah, and they kill him.

00:39:13.000 I don't know if he's dead, but...

00:39:15.000 That was supposedly what happened, was he died.

00:39:17.000 I mean, the noise he's making after that excess... 0.77

00:39:20.000 And what's ridiculous about it, it was such a... 0.51

00:39:24.000 A cock-wagging, because the reason that guy went so far is because when he was trying to do a show-off like, oh, let me stand up and fight this guy, and shut him up, he wasn't doing very good. 0.99

00:39:36.000 The karate guy was not beating his ass in this fight. 0.99

00:39:39.000 This weirdo was actually giving him a hard time to some degree. 0.99

00:39:42.000 Well, the other guy knew how to fight a little bit.

00:39:44.000 You know, the other guy knew how to fight a little bit.

00:39:45.000 The guy got killed?

00:39:46.000 Yeah, he definitely had to.

00:39:47.000 You think so, really?

00:39:48.000 Yeah, enough that he had been in fights before.

00:39:50.000 You know, he wasn't totally helpless.

00:39:52.000 The guy beat the shit out of him, but you were right. 0.62

00:39:55.000 In the beginning, he wasn't getting the best out of it. 0.77

00:39:57.000 Yeah.

00:39:57.000 I think the guy had probably...

00:39:59.000 I mean, he must have had some street fighting. 0.57

00:40:01.000 And he was also crazy. 0.87

00:40:02.000 He was crazy. 1.00

00:40:03.000 But the guy thought he was going to knock him around a bit and make him look stupid, but it was taking him long. 0.99

00:40:10.000 We should Snopes that, because I don't even know if that's true. 0.98

00:40:13.000 You know, man kills homeless man in Karate Academy.

00:40:20.000 I feel racist for assuming he's homeless.

00:40:22.000 I don't know if he's homeless.

00:40:23.000 I think he is.

00:40:24.000 I mean, that's what the story always was. 1.00

00:40:26.000 Yeah, the guy's black and crazy. 1.00

00:40:26.000 He's probably homeless. 1.00

00:40:28.000 In Karate Academy.

00:40:31.000 Snopes.

00:40:33.000 Let's see.

00:40:36.000 KarateInstructorUnofficial.com Murder of Mentally Challenged Man...

00:40:42.000 Yeah, it seems like it really happened, man.

00:40:45.000 But I mean, those face stomps, what kind of human being does that?

00:40:48.000 Terrible people.

00:40:49.000 But I mean, the kind of guy who gets a buzz cut and grows a mustache and works in a karate school?

00:40:54.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:40:54.000 That guy seems like...

00:40:56.000 Not that you can't be crazy and be all those things, but doesn't it seem like a guy who's a little put together?

00:41:00.000 Well, the guy who was the main guy was a Marine.

00:41:05.000 He's a karate instructor.

00:41:06.000 And he let his student, who fought this guy, and his student allegedly actually killed this guy.

00:41:17.000 It's like the real life Cobra Kai's.

00:41:19.000 They found a real evil karate teacher.

00:41:21.000 Yeah, but there's a thing, man, that people do.

00:41:25.000 There's a video, Brian, if you want to pull it up.

00:41:28.000 Well, actually, you probably shouldn't see someone getting killed, right?

00:41:31.000 It's brutal.

00:41:32.000 I mean, it's online.

00:41:34.000 It's a tough one to watch, even.

00:41:37.000 Well, he was up for assault on the 18th of the month on an unregulated charge.

00:41:44.000 Wow.

00:41:46.000 So, I don't know what the fuck actually happened. 0.99

00:41:47.000 If it's true, you think with that kind of evidence, should that guy die? 1.00

00:41:52.000 Okay, this is stupid, man. 1.00

00:41:53.000 They don't know what the fuck they're talking about. 1.00

00:41:55.000 Hold on a second. 0.99

00:41:55.000 This is one of the things that says, Sources in the medical and law enforcement community tell us that indeed the victim must have died. 0.99

00:42:03.000 The snoring at the end is so-called agonal breathing and a sign of massive brain damage and impending death.

00:42:11.000 That's just not true.

00:42:12.000 It isn't true.

00:42:12.000 When you get knocked out, you snore.

00:42:14.000 Whoever said that has never seen someone get knocked the fuck out. 0.94

00:42:17.000 When people get knocked out, they have that horrible snoring. 0.95

00:42:20.000 It happens all the time.

00:42:21.000 That's really scary. 0.99

00:42:23.000 Scary as shit. 1.00

00:42:24.000 Scary as shit. 1.00

00:42:25.000 The first time I saw it, I was 16. I saw somebody laid out, just... 1.00

00:42:31.000 It doesn't mean they're going to die.

00:42:32.000 That's not true at all.

00:42:33.000 So, whoever wrote this story, I don't believe them now.

00:42:35.000 This guy should come out and do a show.

00:42:39.000 It'd be funny if he just comes in and has a diagonal face.

00:42:41.000 His face has just got the guy's footprint in it still.

00:42:46.000 There's a video of it, and there's all these stories of it, but none of them substantiate any legal stuff.

00:42:52.000 I guess you'd have to look into it deep enough. 0.98

00:42:54.000 But apparently this shit was a long time ago. 0.99

00:42:57.000 Yeah, it looked like it was a long time ago. 1.00

00:42:57.000 But I mean, based on the theory that if he did die, do you think that guy deserves to die, the guy who did it? 1.00

00:43:03.000 The guy who died deserves to die, or the guy who killed him? 0.90

00:43:06.000 The guy who killed him. 1.00

00:43:07.000 Well...

00:43:07.000 With that kind of evidence, like it's clearly from that.

00:43:10.000 It's clear that they were fighting.

00:43:12.000 I don't know what the conversation was that led that guy to be fighting that guy.

00:43:18.000 I don't know if he said, I'm going to come in and fight to the death.

00:43:21.000 I don't know.

00:43:21.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:43:22.000 Do you know what I'm saying?

00:43:23.000 I don't...

00:43:24.000 It didn't seem like that kind of a dark underground, like, Kumite situation.

00:43:27.000 It's like some place in Des Moines, Iowa.

00:43:30.000 Right.

00:43:30.000 I think it was somewhere in Georgia.

00:43:32.000 But anyway, the guy was a schizophrenic. 0.53

00:43:35.000 So it really doesn't matter what he said. 1.00

00:43:37.000 He's crazy. 0.99

00:43:38.000 I mean, that's what... 0.99

00:43:38.000 It happened in Virginia. 0.99

00:43:39.000 December 13, 1984. And he's obviously crazy, too. 0.98

00:43:43.000 He's obviously crazy. 1.00

00:43:43.000 That's the thing. 1.00

00:43:43.000 He walks in and you're like, this guy's a... 1.00

00:43:45.000 And you could have...

00:43:46.000 That guy literally also could have hugged him, and that would have ended the situation.

00:43:51.000 Do you know what I mean? 0.99

00:43:51.000 There's a thing that happens in martial arts schools, though, where if you're running a martial arts school, crazy people will show up, and they'll start shit. 0.99

00:44:00.000 I've seen it. 0.99

00:44:01.000 I've seen it firsthand.

00:44:02.000 I've seen it at my Taekwondo school.

00:44:04.000 My instructor would take guys like that that would come into schools, and he would make them spar with black belts. 0.79

00:44:10.000 And put them just like, you know, you go, okay, so you know how to fight.

00:44:14.000 You're a pretty good guy, right?

00:44:15.000 We're going to do some sparring here.

00:44:16.000 Okay, you have your gear?

00:44:18.000 We have gear for you.

00:44:19.000 Do you have your gear?

00:44:20.000 And they would like lure these guys in because they would come to school and they would go, you are a false master. 0.99

00:44:26.000 You are a false master. 0.56

00:44:27.000 You don't truly know martial arts. 0.97

00:44:29.000 And, you know, they try to reason with them.

00:44:31.000 Listen, sir, you know, you can...

00:44:33.000 Was it the Wu-Tang Clan?

00:44:35.000 You can watch a class, but you can't yell things out.

00:44:37.000 Like, people... 0.97

00:44:37.000 There's nutty people that'll come in that have, like, real mental issues. 0.97

00:44:41.000 And they can be dangerous. 0.86

00:44:42.000 You know, they also could be martial arts trained, too.

00:44:44.000 There's a lot of people that just learned...

00:44:48.000 We're good to go.

00:45:12.000 Sure.

00:45:18.000 Sure.

00:45:21.000 Yeah.

00:45:23.000 Didn't seem like that in this video. 0.97

00:45:24.000 In this video, it seemed like they lured the guy in, set him up, and then beat the shit out of him to death.

00:45:29.000 The saddest part is at one point, during when they're just kind of like, it almost seems like slapboxing, the homeless guy stops him and he goes, you're good. 0.88

00:45:37.000 He gives him like a compliment.

00:45:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:45:39.000 And he goes, you're good. 0.99

00:45:40.000 Yeah, it's kind of a fucked up video, man. 0.99

00:45:42.000 And he starts saying, don't stop. 0.99

00:45:44.000 At one point, he does tell him to stop, and then it just gets so...

00:45:46.000 The guy won't stop.

00:45:47.000 And he's stopping on him while he's down. 0.85

00:45:49.000 It's gross.

00:45:50.000 Mm-hmm.

00:45:51.000 I don't know if the guy died, but if the guy did die, yeah, that's basically murder.

00:45:57.000 Perfect example.

00:45:58.000 What we said is, where would that murderous rage come out?

00:46:01.000 Would it come out if someone was trying to kill your mom?

00:46:04.000 You probably would.

00:46:05.000 You probably would come out.

00:46:06.000 But this guy wasn't in that scenario.

00:46:08.000 The guy was saying, don't.

00:46:10.000 He was saying, stop.

00:46:12.000 He had given up.

00:46:13.000 A healthy person backs away at that point.

00:46:17.000 It's merciless.

00:46:18.000 It's just complete...

00:46:19.000 The guy was so offended somehow. 0.99

00:46:22.000 But I wonder if they just got away with shit like that and this was the only one that people saw. 0.98

00:46:27.000 I wonder if this had happened more than once. 0.99

00:46:29.000 Because if a guy's willing to beat a guy to death like that and then dispose of a body, and this is the only piece of evidence that some schizophrenic guy was murdered... 0.99

00:46:38.000 Like, that motherfucker's probably killed a bunch of people before. 1.00

00:46:40.000 And he's a Marine. 1.00

00:46:41.000 That's the other thing.

00:46:42.000 We don't know what kind of action he saw. 1.00

00:46:44.000 You know, if you're serving your country and you're used to killing people on a regular basis, then you come back home and some fucking crazy schizo guy wants to come into your karate school and talk shit, yeah, you'll let a guy kill him. 1.00

00:46:56.000 Like, why not? 1.00

00:46:56.000 You've been killing people for years. 1.00

00:46:58.000 In the 80s, that was like how they Yelp reviewed karate schools. 0.88

00:47:02.000 Like, how many homeless guys have you killed?

00:47:03.000 Yeah. 0.54

00:47:05.000 Three homeless guys and counting.

00:47:07.000 I was a part of many challenge matches where people showed up at the school and I got to watch them fight friends.

00:47:14.000 I fought dudes that just showed up at the school.

00:47:16.000 That was a super common thing.

00:47:18.000 But you can, more or less with that, you deliver a couple, really?

00:47:22.000 Oh yeah, we took a lot of those guys to the hospital after we beat them up.

00:47:26.000 We'd bring them to the hospital after they sparred.

00:47:28.000 But easily could have happened to me.

00:47:30.000 I mean, I was good, but there's a lot of good guys that came in, too.

00:47:34.000 There were?

00:47:34.000 Yeah, guys that had talent.

00:47:37.000 And when they say they wanted to fight, would you put on gloves?

00:47:39.000 Depends.

00:47:40.000 Depends on what they said.

00:47:42.000 A lot of it was bare knuckle.

00:47:44.000 Really?

00:47:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:47:45.000 Because you didn't know what they wanted to prove.

00:47:48.000 What I've never, and I've never been good at, even back in school when it was the...

00:47:54.000 Meet me at the library.

00:47:56.000 I'd throw a punch then.

00:47:58.000 See, I never...

00:47:59.000 When the guy would say it because I was like, if I gotta think about it until three, I probably won't show.

00:48:02.000 Like, I'll probably chicken out, like, later.

00:48:04.000 Like, I'm angry now.

00:48:05.000 Let's just do it.

00:48:06.000 Let's get into it.

00:48:07.000 That's probably the best way to get everything broken up and keep it from being, like, something that no teachers or adults know about.

00:48:13.000 The problem is if you go in a field, meet me in the field, then it's like...

00:48:17.000 Children of the Corn.

00:48:18.000 Someone can get killed, yeah.

00:48:19.000 Because Lord of the Flies.

00:48:20.000 I had to do that a few times. 0.92

00:48:22.000 And it was with bullies, and it always sucked, but always it turned out me beating them up. 0.74

00:48:26.000 So it was great. 0.79

00:48:26.000 What kind of bullies did you beat up? 0.79

00:48:29.000 All girls. 0.60

00:48:30.000 One is now a cop, and the other guy, I think, is dead. 0.99

00:48:34.000 Yeah, most of the guys who talk the most shit, though, just never had to really be confronted with somebody stepping up to it. 0.99

00:48:41.000 When you're a kid, everyone's kind of... 0.99

00:48:43.000 I mean, I bought into it, too.

00:48:44.000 That's why I said, but whatever was instilled in me by my dad and step-pop was very much like...

00:48:49.000 Get it going while you're angry.

00:48:51.000 You know what I mean?

00:48:51.000 Don't wait for it.

00:48:52.000 And that's what I was going to ask when they'd come in.

00:48:55.000 They'd say like, you know, Rogan, go teach this punk a lesson.

00:48:59.000 Did your heart pump? 0.99

00:49:01.000 Yeah, you'd get nervous as fuck. 0.99

00:49:02.000 But the idea behind it was my instructor was training a bunch of people for national tournaments. 0.95

00:49:08.000 So the idea was like, these guys can't hang with you.

00:49:11.000 You're a national level competitor.

00:49:12.000 And this is a good thing to experience because it's very dangerous.

00:49:15.000 So you're going to have to perform under some very real pressure.

00:49:19.000 like people just swinging at your face and you know you're dancing around inside this closed area looking to knock each other out and it happened a lot it happened I mean I'm not a lot but it happened every three four months over the course of like seven years that I was there every three or four months some guy from another school We'd come into town and would want to show people up.

00:49:38.000 You'd want to show everybody how much better his style was, and people would duke it out.

00:49:42.000 It was crazy when you stop and think about it.

00:49:45.000 This is all pre-UFC, and there was a lot of delusional people, too.

00:49:49.000 There was a lot of people that thought that their martial art literally could not be beaten.

00:49:52.000 They did a certain type of Wing Chun, and if they could go to a Taekwondo school and spar, they would just run through people.

00:49:57.000 There would be no way they could stop them.

00:49:58.000 Did you get half off your monthly dues if you won the fight?

00:50:01.000 I didn't pay after a certain amount of time.

00:50:05.000 I taught. 0.94

00:50:06.000 If you kill three homeless people, you don't have to pay.

00:50:08.000 When I was a kid, I started out when I was really young.

00:50:12.000 When I was 15, I was completely dedicated, and I was there every day.

00:50:16.000 So they would give me things to do.

00:50:18.000 They would give me, like, I would clean things, or I would teach classes.

00:50:21.000 I taught a lot of private lessons.

00:50:22.000 Like, the people that are first starting out, you have to learn in private lesson form.

00:50:27.000 And since I advanced really quickly and I'd spent so much time there, I was pretty good at breaking down the technical aspects of certain moves.

00:50:33.000 You know what's funny?

00:50:34.000 And pardon the handjob here, but I think you're a fantastic comedian.

00:50:39.000 Super funny.

00:50:41.000 And you have such the origin story of a guy who would not be.

00:50:46.000 But yet I know a few people like that too, people that are very strict in life about certain things.

00:50:51.000 Mike Vecchione, hilarious comedian.

00:50:53.000 He's a very regimented guy, grew up football, he was good at it, he excelled wrestling, went to Penn State, wrestling there.

00:51:02.000 Hilarious comedian, but usually that doesn't breed the funny guy.

00:51:05.000 Yeah, I think people have...

00:51:07.000 Usually like the introvert or the weird kind of like social awkward guy or the class clown type goes on to that.

00:51:13.000 That's usually someone who's like a strict like, you know, usually that story becomes like, you know, I have four kids. 0.99

00:51:18.000 They all wear dockers and fucking sweaters. 1.00

00:51:21.000 No one says fucking. 1.00

00:51:23.000 I'm not strict. 0.98

00:51:25.000 I just get into things.

00:51:26.000 I'm just very motivated.

00:51:29.000 I wouldn't say I'm disciplined as much as I get more obsessed.

00:51:35.000 I'm disciplined at things that I'm obsessed about.

00:51:37.000 But I'm not a strict person in any other way.

00:51:39.000 I'm not strict socially.

00:51:41.000 Usually the comics, a guy who's in shape...

00:51:45.000 And doing comedy and cares about that and cares about his health.

00:51:48.000 It tends to not always be. 0.99

00:51:49.000 It's usually a guy that's like some fucking some pig the other day. 1.00

00:51:54.000 This fat broad because at 165 pounds you slob. 1.00

00:51:58.000 Just being like that and you're like, who's relating to this? 0.97

00:52:01.000 Right, right.

00:52:01.000 And you definitely transcend that.

00:52:04.000 But I'm saying it's weird that I don't think that always happens.

00:52:08.000 I think it's more of an odd thing.

00:52:09.000 It could happen.

00:52:11.000 It's when all of your...

00:52:15.000 Like, flaws kind of become your virtues in comedy, you know? 0.99

00:52:18.000 So the nerd who got beat up, now he's telling his stories about getting beaten up and now girls will fuck him because he knows how to tell it funny. 0.99

00:52:23.000 Do you know what I mean? 0.99

00:52:24.000 That's usually the origin story.

00:52:25.000 Yeah, but it doesn't have to be.

00:52:26.000 See, that's the cool thing about comedy is there's so many versions, you know?

00:52:30.000 Like, black guys have always had that thing where they're allowed to dress up really cool on stage, wear gold chains and crazy leather outfits.

00:52:38.000 Like, remember Eddie Murphy in Delirious and in Raw?

00:52:40.000 But it's the entire difference...

00:52:42.000 Of black comedy and white comedy.

00:52:44.000 If you're going to take by those circuits, I said there's definitely comics that bridge both worlds.

00:52:49.000 But the difference in white mainstream comedy is very self-deprecating. 0.99

00:52:54.000 It's like, my little dick, fat guy, bald, whatever it is. 1.00

00:52:58.000 And black is very like, so I'm slanging the dick, right? 1.00

00:53:01.000 And it's just like... 1.00

00:53:02.000 I mean, the fucking... 0.99

00:53:04.000 A stool at a black comedy club is probably owed a lot of money in civil court to just like... 1.00

00:53:10.000 Just been fucked. 0.98

00:53:11.000 I mean, yeah, just like off to the side stages with a bunch of like broken up stools like from gang rapings. 1.00

00:53:17.000 I mean, there's so like...

00:53:18.000 But when I would watch...

00:53:20.000 I grew up like a big fan of comedy and watching like everyone in the 80s that I would watch to getting to where Def Jam became the thing.

00:53:28.000 I loved all that too.

00:53:29.000 And I just didn't even know, I almost didn't even notice the difference. 1.00

00:53:32.000 That comedy had taken a turn to like, you know, how good you are at fucking and how big your dick is. 1.00

00:53:37.000 Well, it's, comedy can be anything, man. 1.00

00:53:41.000 It's just gotta be funny.

00:53:42.000 That's what people don't understand.

00:53:44.000 Like, if anybody wants to say that...

00:53:46.000 Like, I've heard people say this.

00:53:47.000 This is like a social justice warrior thing that they say.

00:53:49.000 That real comedy always punches up.

00:53:52.000 Meaning, like, get at the bad person that's above you, dominating you, the boss, the president.

00:53:58.000 Real comedy punches up. 0.98

00:53:59.000 and you know you don't pick on any people that are below you but the reality is sometimes punching down is fucking hilarious sure it's not it's not always but it's about what what is the subject matter like what it like you could like i remember louis ck doing a bit about how his kid is a fucking asshole sure and it was really fucking funny because first of all you knew he wasn't serious right it was i mean he was talking about his kid like in a frustrated way About a kid just being a kid. 0.96

00:54:27.000 I'm sure he loves his kid like he loves life itself. 0.97

00:54:30.000 But because he's punching down. 1.00

00:54:33.000 He's like shitting on his kid for being an asshole. 1.00

00:54:36.000 And it's hilarious. 1.00

00:54:38.000 There's no rules.

00:54:39.000 There's no rules like a guy has to be self-deprecating. 1.00

00:54:42.000 The guy's saying, so I'm slinging that dick, right? 1.00

00:54:45.000 I'm giving that good dick. 1.00

00:54:46.000 You know when you're giving that good dick and you feel that asshole reverberating off your ball sack every time you come down home? 1.00

00:54:53.000 Blah-da-loop. 1.00

00:54:54.000 Blah-da-loop. 1.00

00:54:55.000 You could be crying laughing listening to that.

00:54:57.000 Crying laughing.

00:54:58.000 Or you could be crying laughing listening to a guy who talks about it.

00:55:01.000 We can never get laid.

00:55:03.000 The variable in those things is just...

00:55:06.000 Is it funny or is it not funny?

00:55:08.000 That's the important variable.

00:55:09.000 Me and my buddy watched a Nick Cannon special.

00:55:12.000 You want to have fun, man.

00:55:13.000 Get stoned and just watch a Nick Cannon special.

00:55:15.000 It's just...

00:55:17.000 I love watching just ridiculously horrible comedy.

00:55:21.000 It's my favorite thing in the world.

00:55:23.000 I can't do it.

00:55:24.000 And just watching Nick Cannon buy an hour of television so he can slowly but surely peel down from a tuxedo to a tank top is... 0.98

00:55:33.000 First of all, he has a backdrop that's just a million light bulbs, so when he moves, it's going to give you a fucking seizure. 0.96

00:55:40.000 And his jokes are all like, you know you meet a girl up in a club and you're all like, spladoosh! 0.84

00:55:45.000 Just noises, and then apparently Mariah Carey was texting that night, like live tweeting or whatever, and she goes, I told you my baby was funny!

00:55:55.000 Oh my god.

00:55:56.000 Did she say that?

00:55:57.000 I love that.

00:55:57.000 If you want to watch a show that'll just bring joy to your life, have you ever heard of Bill Bellamy's Who Got Jokes?

00:56:03.000 No.

00:56:04.000 Oh, wow.

00:56:05.000 I'm scared.

00:56:06.000 Just take a weekend and really dig into it because it's a...

00:56:10.000 I don't think I have it in me.

00:56:11.000 It's a comedy.

00:56:12.000 Yeah, you don't like watching bad comedy?

00:56:14.000 No.

00:56:14.000 This is...

00:56:15.000 It's on TV One, which is a black TV network.

00:56:20.000 I didn't know there existed.

00:56:21.000 Yeah.

00:56:22.000 It's called TV One and Bill Bellamy hosts it.

00:56:25.000 Is it a new show?

00:56:26.000 No.

00:56:27.000 It's done now, I think, too.

00:56:29.000 Tommy from Martin.

00:56:30.000 But it airs on marathons on this network.

00:56:33.000 Tommy from Martin is called the Pope of Comedy.

00:56:36.000 He sits in a throne and judges.

00:56:38.000 As three comics come out...

00:56:40.000 And they do the first round is just their set in front of an audience.

00:56:45.000 And there's three people from the audience picked at random to be the judges where they give a score from one to five, five being the best, one being the worst.

00:56:53.000 Everyone gets a five. 0.99

00:56:55.000 And if you give someone a four, the audience loses their shit. 1.00

00:56:58.000 They get very mad at you. 0.99

00:56:59.000 That's round one.

00:57:00.000 The comedy has always got awful.

00:57:03.000 And then it's unprepared usually.

00:57:06.000 It looks like these guys didn't know they were going to do a TV show that day.

00:57:10.000 And then round two they come out and they do some kind of like challenge that you don't know what.

00:57:14.000 So they have a heckler in the audience or somebody comes out like they're a producer and hits you in the face with a pie and you got to keep going.

00:57:20.000 And then they judge you on a score from one to five.

00:57:24.000 And it's just horrible, horrible comedy.

00:57:27.000 But it makes me laugh.

00:57:28.000 Why does that make you laugh?

00:57:31.000 Just like, because it works.

00:57:33.000 I'm amazed by, I'm very interested, and there's actually a science to comedy.

00:57:40.000 Don't you find that interesting?

00:57:40.000 There's an actual science.

00:57:42.000 You can just say the right words.

00:57:44.000 Have you ever seen Comedy Hypnotist?

00:57:46.000 No.

00:57:47.000 Never seen one of those guys?

00:57:48.000 Mm-mm.

00:57:48.000 Dude.

00:57:49.000 You gotta see a comedy hypnotist if you get a chance.

00:57:51.000 A real one.

00:57:52.000 I just assume it's fake, yeah.

00:57:54.000 No.

00:57:55.000 No, not fake at all. 1.00

00:57:56.000 There's something that really stupid people are susceptible to. 1.00

00:57:59.000 That you're not susceptible to. 1.00

00:58:01.000 Someone can say some things to you on stage...

00:58:05.000 Snap their finger and some people literally go into a trance.

00:58:08.000 Sure.

00:58:09.000 They can do it.

00:58:09.000 Those people will laugh at anything, too.

00:58:12.000 They're dumb as fuck. 1.00

00:58:13.000 I think what the reality of this world is that there's people that are... 1.00

00:58:18.000 their brains don't work so good.

00:58:21.000 They just don't. 0.99

00:58:22.000 And there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it. 0.96

00:58:24.000 It's not about education. 0.96

00:58:25.000 It's not about how much information you give them.

00:58:28.000 It's not about the environment they're in.

00:58:29.000 They have nine-volt brains.

00:58:31.000 No, I know. 0.66

00:58:32.000 And what's funny is, the audience has never communally stood up to someone who's like, that's hacky. 0.59

00:58:39.000 The audience never says that.

00:58:40.000 It's always being judged by other comics.

00:58:42.000 In general, when there's a hacky comic on stage, usually he's destroying.

00:58:47.000 It depends on where you're at, right? 0.99

00:58:48.000 I mean, if you're in LA or New York, those guys could be beat and shit. 0.99

00:58:52.000 Possibly. 0.91

00:58:52.000 But forums like this, where comics and people get to talk, and there's so much inside information out now, I think it kind of weeds through that happening. 0.91

00:59:00.000 And now I think the audiences are a little smarter in some circles.

00:59:03.000 But they have to be fans.

00:59:04.000 Do you remember going to see comedy when you first started to go to open mic nights and see guys that you thought were really funny? 0.77

00:59:12.000 And then, like, a year later, you fucking couldn't even be in the room when they're on stage. 0.57

00:59:15.000 Oh, I mean, the people I worshipped when I started, I was like, just the way he kills, you know? 0.99

00:59:21.000 Like, I gotta do a joke where I open up and say, DJ, put that shit on one more time. 0.98

00:59:25.000 And I gotta, because everyone had to have one of those. 0.99

00:59:27.000 I used to get down to underwear on stage.

00:59:29.000 Used to get down to my underwear posing to the 2001 theme.

00:59:33.000 Oh, God.

00:59:35.000 And then one day, no one left.

00:59:37.000 I didn't do it ever again.

00:59:38.000 I went to see this guy when I was in Boston.

00:59:42.000 Before I did stand-up, I went to see this comedy at Play It Again Sam's.

00:59:46.000 It was like this movie house that had stand-up in the basement.

00:59:49.000 And this guy did these fake ad-libs.

00:59:52.000 And I knew they were fake while it was happening.

00:59:55.000 I didn't understand comedy.

00:59:56.000 But he pointed to me and he goes, and this guy's over here saying this...

01:00:00.000 But I didn't say anything.

01:00:01.000 I don't remember what it was.

01:00:02.000 But I remember he's like, what?

01:00:04.000 I couldn't believe that he was pretending that there was some sort of a weird interaction between us for the rest of the audience.

01:00:12.000 And so I realized that this guy was just bullshitting, and his acts was kind of this fake dance.

01:00:17.000 And then as I got to know him, I kept seeing him over and over and over again.

01:00:20.000 He was doing the same thing.

01:00:21.000 Every time he would set this bit up, he would point to a guy in the audience, and he's like this, and he would say the same thing.

01:00:27.000 He had his fake ad-libs with the crowd.

01:00:31.000 There was no variation.

01:00:32.000 So if you saw them more than once, the act was done.

01:00:34.000 Like, the veil had been lifted.

01:00:37.000 And it doesn't bring any joy to watch, like, that level of shitty comedy, like, happen? 0.87

01:00:41.000 No. 0.71

01:00:41.000 It makes me sad. 0.71

01:00:42.000 Like, it makes me laugh.

01:00:43.000 So I used to...

01:00:44.000 Any show when it comes...

01:00:45.000 I just can't believe sometimes when you watch somebody and they're on television and their first joke is, now I know what you guys are thinking.

01:00:53.000 Actually, I had a guy open for me one time on the road where he had a joke.

01:00:58.000 I forget what it was about, but whatever it was, the crowd never laughed in the middle of it.

01:01:03.000 And he goes, so my family used to run a funeral home.

01:01:07.000 He goes, now you guys laugh, but no one laughed at that.

01:01:13.000 But every time he goes, now you guys laugh.

01:01:16.000 That's always funny.

01:01:18.000 Now, I know what you're thinking.

01:01:19.000 You see me, and I'm like...

01:01:21.000 It happens a lot.

01:01:24.000 I feel like you should never, and a lot of us do, but you should never get on television with your first ever set.

01:01:30.000 You know, when you go on the road, and me, you know, when I go on the road and someone opens for me, I'm generally getting somebody doing their first set.

01:01:38.000 You remember that?

01:01:39.000 Like, every time you get on stage, it was the introduction, like, so, my name's Jay, and I blah blah blah. 0.98

01:01:44.000 You know, it's like, first day girl comedy, so I'm so-and-so, and I'm a total slut, and I sex with my friends, and... 0.93

01:01:52.000 But that first set makes it on TV a lot now because there's so many forums. 0.98

01:01:56.000 Yeah, but that's just life.

01:01:58.000 You just got to move on.

01:01:59.000 Just deal with it. 0.99

01:02:00.000 It's probably not good to have your first set, but if you've been doing stand-up for 10 years or whatever it is when you get your first set on TV, six years, just fucking accept it sucks. 0.99

01:02:08.000 Just accept that it sucks and move on. 0.99

01:02:10.000 And you won't know it sucks until you see it. 0.97

01:02:12.000 You got to watch it on TV later in your career when you're better. 0.94

01:02:17.000 And you go...

01:02:18.000 But I'm almost saying I'm surprised that the behind the scenes don't catch up to like...

01:02:22.000 It seems like there's no...

01:02:24.000 They don't take any cues from the actual community of comedy itself.

01:02:29.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:02:30.000 What do you mean?

01:02:30.000 They're like, this guy's been doing comedy for five months.

01:02:32.000 Of course he should be on Letterman.

01:02:34.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:02:34.000 Oh, the behind the scenes people.

01:02:36.000 No, they're always looking for someone to come along that's a prodigy that figures it out after four months.

01:02:40.000 It's so weird, but I don't know if they do that person any favors.

01:02:42.000 Well, they definitely don't. 0.99

01:02:43.000 They don't give a fuck, though. 0.99

01:02:44.000 All they care about is what can they sell. 0.99

01:02:47.000 Just like the reality show, if you've noticed, if you've watched the video, I've moved into a new chair, ladies and gentlemen.

01:02:52.000 I don't know if this one's going to make it.

01:02:54.000 I don't know.

01:02:54.000 I think the other thing is better.

01:02:56.000 The no-back thing's better.

01:02:57.000 But they're just trying to sell you.

01:03:01.000 Sure.

01:03:01.000 If they can sell the hookahs, you've only been doing stand for five months, they're not going to protect you.

01:03:06.000 They're not going to go, oh, that big J, he's got potential for the future.

01:03:09.000 Let's not put his five-month-old comedy set. 1.00

01:03:12.000 No, fuck you. 1.00

01:03:13.000 Get on TV. Who gives a shit? 1.00

01:03:15.000 Sink or swim. 1.00

01:03:16.000 There's many more people they have to pay attention to. 1.00

01:03:18.000 They don't give a fuck about it. 0.99

01:03:19.000 Oh, look, I'm sure the fucking, what's it, the Hunger Games people are pretty thrilled that J-Law's snatch is out there. 1.00

01:03:25.000 That's huge for them. 0.99

01:03:26.000 Just drew a whole new audience to that show.

01:03:29.000 Yeah, I don't know how those two are connected, but we're talking about someone being hacked now.

01:03:34.000 That's not what I was talking about.

01:03:35.000 I thought you were saying about selling things.

01:03:37.000 I was saying the companies that don't care, like the movie companies don't care how she gets exposed.

01:03:42.000 It does them a good job.

01:03:44.000 They don't protect her.

01:03:46.000 They don't come out.

01:03:47.000 They would have protected her, I'm sure.

01:03:49.000 They probably wouldn't have let it be released.

01:03:51.000 But it's to their benefit now that it is.

01:03:53.000 I kind of guess so.

01:03:55.000 Yeah, but it's a different thing.

01:03:58.000 I was like, did it have nothing to do with it?

01:04:00.000 I'm like, no.

01:04:00.000 There was a connection in my mind.

01:04:02.000 There was something there.

01:04:03.000 I guess.

01:04:04.000 I guess.

01:04:06.000 I've only seen the first one.

01:04:07.000 Now I want to watch more after seeing her naked. 1.00

01:04:10.000 Right, which is good for the company. 0.99

01:04:11.000 So the movie company, even though it's like they pay her and she has a relationship with them, they don't give a fuck if something to her detriment builds up their movie. 0.97

01:04:19.000 Yeah, I could see that, probably. 0.73

01:04:21.000 Yeah, probably after it's over, they probably would have protected her from it getting out, but once it's out, they're like, hey, look, in the long run, we're going to do Brooke.

01:04:28.000 She looks great.

01:04:29.000 I sat around the office and...

01:04:32.000 It's true.

01:04:33.000 She looks great.

01:04:34.000 The only way you're ever going to get protected as a comic is if you have a manager.

01:04:39.000 And the manager will say, listen, Jay, let's keep hitting the clubs and wait a year.

01:04:44.000 Wait a couple of years.

01:04:46.000 Just work.

01:04:46.000 Where's that manager at?

01:04:48.000 Jeff Sussman.

01:04:50.000 My guy.

01:04:51.000 It's hard.

01:04:52.000 You've got to develop comedians.

01:04:55.000 You've got to treat them as a long-term project.

01:04:57.000 You can't move people into a house before you even put a roof on it.

01:05:00.000 And you can't pretend it's done when it's not done.

01:05:02.000 And when you see a young guy that's got potential, I mean, everybody that we've ever met, they go through periods.

01:05:08.000 Like you were talking about your black comedy period.

01:05:10.000 Sure.

01:05:11.000 People go through these weird phases where they're trying to find themselves as, I hate to use the word, but artists.

01:05:16.000 Yeah.

01:05:16.000 Trying to find myself as an artist, man.

01:05:20.000 But the thing is, there's a video of you five months in, and then it's terrible, but there's a way better video two years later.

01:05:27.000 Well, if someone watches both, they go, oh, Jay got better.

01:05:30.000 There's nothing wrong with...

01:05:32.000 Oh, I did BET's Comic View thrice.

01:05:36.000 Three times.

01:05:36.000 Really?

01:05:37.000 Yeah.

01:05:37.000 Who was hosting?

01:05:39.000 The first one ever was Lester Barry, who was a Black Circuit comic.

01:05:46.000 It's very religious.

01:06:07.000 Nice.

01:06:09.000 No!

01:06:10.000 So I'd smoke cigarettes, and I'm going to go outside and smoke a cigarette.

01:06:14.000 She goes, okay, wait a second.

01:06:14.000 She goes, everyone, Jay's going to smoke.

01:06:16.000 If you want to smoke, go out now with him, and everyone's got to be back in here in 15 minutes.

01:06:21.000 And then she tried to give me all of their food tickets, so I'd be responsible for them. 0.73

01:06:26.000 It was very bizarre.

01:06:27.000 Just because you're white? 0.57

01:06:27.000 Yeah, I assume so. 0.57

01:06:29.000 Wow. 1.00

01:06:30.000 That said, a lot of the black comics would do things like, I'm going to go out and smoke, and then go fuck a chick for five hours. 1.00

01:06:36.000 Try to come back 15 minutes before the show starts. 1.00

01:06:38.000 That did happen.

01:06:39.000 Well, what'd they want you to do?

01:06:40.000 Just hang out all day waiting for the show to start?

01:06:42.000 Oh, they put you there at nine in the morning until I went on at midnight.

01:06:46.000 What?

01:06:46.000 Yeah, because they just don't want...

01:06:48.000 They just wrangle everybody because they don't believe anyone's going to stay.

01:06:53.000 They have no belief they're going to stay there.

01:06:55.000 They've done entire shows about how hacky they are.

01:06:58.000 Like, they'll do a show where the same joke gets repeated by different comedians.

01:07:02.000 Well, yeah.

01:07:03.000 And so I went and did it.

01:07:05.000 Kevin Hart ended up hosting, I think, one of the last ever seasons.

01:07:09.000 But it was called One Mic Stand.

01:07:12.000 Or something like that.

01:07:13.000 I think that's what it's called.

01:07:13.000 One Mic Stand.

01:07:14.000 But it wasn't called Comic View.

01:07:16.000 And Kev called me and asked me if I wanted to do it or if I would do it.

01:07:20.000 And I said, yeah, but I don't want to do Comic View anymore.

01:07:22.000 He goes, it's not Comic View.

01:07:23.000 It's different.

01:07:24.000 They're flying people out now.

01:07:25.000 They're doing it all right and set it up good.

01:07:27.000 And when I signed the contract, it's Comic View Presents One Mic Stand.

01:07:31.000 They gave us a big speech before we taped anything.

01:07:34.000 And the guy was like, we're changing Comic View.

01:07:37.000 It's going to be different.

01:07:38.000 And the guy specifically said...

01:07:40.000 No more stool humping and DJ hit it and pulling out fake teeth. 0.99

01:07:46.000 And I mean, we weren't three comics in before a guy was wearing fake teeth and fucking a stool. 0.99

01:07:52.000 I mean, not even... 0.99

01:07:54.000 Fake teeth?

01:07:54.000 And by the way, when he's giving this speech...

01:07:57.000 To it, these same guys who are getting ready to fuck stools and put in fake teeth are doing like, you know, like staring at him, give the speech, and like nodding their heads like Pacino's speech on any given Sunday. 0.97

01:08:07.000 It's like an emotional, powerful speech, how we're changing comic view now. 0.99

01:08:10.000 And then they went and put their fake teeth in. 0.98

01:08:12.000 And they're like, yeah, let's go out there and show the world something. 1.00

01:08:15.000 And then two minutes later, you're like, DJ, put that shit back on. 1.00

01:08:18.000 You can fuck a bitch with fake teeth to this one. 1.00

01:08:24.000 Those black circuits made for some great, great, great stories. 1.00

01:08:27.000 I had a guy one time, this is a true story.

01:08:30.000 Kev used to host a club in Atlantic City, Kevin Hart, called Sweet Cheeks.

01:08:36.000 Sweet Cheeks.

01:08:36.000 Violent.

01:08:37.000 It was like a pimps and players ball. 0.99

01:08:39.000 No bullshit. 0.99

01:08:40.000 It was like everyone was wearing like zoot suits and shit and bringing like three chicks apiece and they were all dressed up fancy, but they'd interrupt dancing to do a comedy show. 1.00

01:08:50.000 In the middle of the fucking night, like 2, 3 o'clock in the morning. 0.99

01:08:54.000 What? 0.99

01:08:55.000 Yeah, and I was hosting at one time for Kev.

01:08:58.000 He couldn't do it, and they hated me.

01:09:00.000 They absolutely didn't like me at all, and I was going to bring a comic on stage, and I go, alright, buddy, I'm going to bring you up next to go, what's your name?

01:09:08.000 And he goes, Ignit Nigga. 0.98

01:09:10.000 And I was like, dude, don't make me say that, please.

01:09:13.000 And he's like, that's my name, man.

01:09:15.000 That's my stage name.

01:09:16.000 And I begged him to let me call him by his regular name.

01:09:19.000 And I go, it's not going to go good if I stay.

01:09:20.000 He goes, it's fine, man.

01:09:21.000 I'll explain.

01:09:22.000 It's my name, you know.

01:09:23.000 He set you up.

01:09:24.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:09:24.000 When he went on stage, he goes, you going to let that white boy call me a nigga? 0.99

01:09:27.000 And I left. 0.99

01:09:28.000 I just left the show.

01:09:29.000 I drove home.

01:09:29.000 Yeah, that was like, it was a dangerous place, man.

01:09:32.000 The bouncer outside was a bounty hunter also.

01:09:36.000 So he would run IDs for everybody that walked in.

01:09:38.000 Like, he'd get five people a night on warrants.

01:09:41.000 Wow.

01:09:42.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:09:43.000 He was a bounty hunter and an ID checker.

01:09:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:09:46.000 That's like fishing in a fucking swimming pool. 1.00

01:09:48.000 Really, yeah. 1.00

01:09:49.000 That's so not fair.

01:09:50.000 That seems like you're shooting deer in a stock pond.

01:09:54.000 Yeah.

01:09:55.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:09:55.000 That just seems really fucked up. 0.99

01:09:57.000 Especially at a nightclub. 0.99

01:09:59.000 Yeah, and it was just like...

01:10:01.000 And a pimps and players nightclub.

01:10:03.000 Yeah, they threw chicken wings at me one time.

01:10:05.000 Wow.

01:10:06.000 And I think I was doing that joke where I was getting down to my underwear. 0.99

01:10:10.000 Who the fuck wants them to do comedy at 2 o'clock in the morning in a place where they have dancing? 0.99

01:10:15.000 I used to do these ski trip shows that were like black ski trips, and black people don't even ski at all. 1.00

01:10:22.000 They'd go, and it's like a bus thing. 0.99

01:10:24.000 They'd go to this hotel, and they'd all just like fuck each other. 1.00

01:10:28.000 Everyone would just fucking drink green alcohol. 1.00

01:10:32.000 What's green alcohol? 0.99

01:10:33.000 Just like whatever, you know, like Tangerays and something.

01:10:36.000 The drinks were always great, like thug passion.

01:10:38.000 I like that thug passion.

01:10:40.000 So it's like mixed drinks.

01:10:41.000 Yeah, and I'd go up there and open. 0.99

01:10:43.000 Sometimes I would headline for these, like, black ski trips, and they just fucking hated it. 1.00

01:10:48.000 They wanted no parts of the comedy show. 0.98

01:10:50.000 I never understand why they force...

01:10:52.000 Comedy into places where it doesn't need to be at all.

01:10:55.000 Well, people make money, you know?

01:10:57.000 I'm sure Kevin Hart got a nice piece of pie.

01:10:59.000 Maybe.

01:11:00.000 I mean, well, he was very young.

01:11:02.000 We were like, brand new in comedy.

01:11:03.000 Yeah, but I mean, if somebody offers it, you're like, yeah, we can do a show there. 1.00

01:11:06.000 Fuck it. 1.00

01:11:07.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:11:08.000 I mean, the bar shows in New York, that's become such a thing.

01:11:10.000 Bar shows.

01:11:11.000 Bar shows.

01:11:11.000 Yeah.

01:11:12.000 And I go to them with this expectation.

01:11:15.000 What blows my mind about it, I think bar shows are a cool thing to have as far as open mics, basically, little produced shows.

01:11:21.000 You can get people on, but I'll hear my friends or younger comics who I know, and I'll be like, where are you at tonight?

01:11:28.000 And they go, so-and-so.

01:11:29.000 I go, oh, well, do this other thing with me. 1.00

01:11:30.000 Like, don't go to that bullshit bar show. 0.98

01:11:32.000 And it's like, I've been booked for this for three months. 1.00

01:11:35.000 Whoa.

01:11:35.000 Yeah, they call you.

01:11:36.000 It's like, you want to do my bar show?

01:11:38.000 It seats about 25 people.

01:11:41.000 You know, you get like a drink ticket or half price off drinks and it's on Tuesday at, you know, 9 p.m. 0.98

01:11:46.000 somewhere in Nowhereville, fucking Brooklyn. 0.93

01:11:49.000 And then it's like, oh yeah, I guess I can do it. 0.99

01:11:50.000 And it's like, you know, okay, so I'm looking at, like, I have my book open here, like, December?

01:11:54.000 It's like May?

01:11:55.000 Like, they really booked these things far out.

01:11:56.000 Is that just because there's so many comics in New York?

01:11:59.000 It is. 0.98

01:12:00.000 I think it's a lot of it becomes, like, people just getting their friends on and shit, probably, if I had to guess. 0.99

01:12:04.000 Right. 0.95

01:12:04.000 Because a lot of these shows have become, like, legit to some degree. 0.95

01:12:07.000 Well, if it's a good show, if it's well run, it's very valuable to comedians.

01:12:12.000 Sure.

01:12:12.000 Like, you know you go to Wednesday Night Comedy Juice, the improv.

01:12:15.000 It's always going to be packed.

01:12:16.000 It's a great place to work out material.

01:12:18.000 Like, that becomes valuable.

01:12:19.000 That's the improv, though.

01:12:20.000 Yeah, but you know what I'm saying?

01:12:21.000 Sure.

01:12:21.000 So shows like that become valuable, and then little side gigs.

01:12:25.000 Like, what is that place you were talking about?

01:12:26.000 Three of Clubs?

01:12:27.000 Is that what it is?

01:12:27.000 Three Clubs, yeah.

01:12:30.000 There's tons of bar shows, but the old Red Rocks has one now that's in the corner.

01:12:34.000 But the problem is New York is a billion times more bar shows than L.A. So all the local comics in L.A., they'll get that one shitty bar show, but it's like a month away when they get booked.

01:12:46.000 How many rooms are there all told in New York, if you had to guess?

01:12:50.000 You live in Manhattan?

01:12:51.000 Yeah.

01:12:52.000 How many rooms do you think?

01:12:53.000 How many stand-up rooms are in the city?

01:12:55.000 Actual clubs?

01:12:55.000 Yeah.

01:12:56.000 We could run through them, really.

01:12:57.000 Stamp New York, Comic Strip.

01:12:59.000 Cellar.

01:13:00.000 Cellar.

01:13:01.000 Gotham.

01:13:02.000 The Stand.

01:13:03.000 Stand.

01:13:04.000 Caroline's.

01:13:05.000 Caroline's.

01:13:07.000 Then there's Greenwich Village Comedy Club, New York Comedy Club, Broadway Comedy Club.

01:13:10.000 New York Comedy Club's still around.

01:13:12.000 Yeah.

01:13:13.000 Dangerfields?

01:13:13.000 Bought by a new guy Dangerfields.

01:13:14.000 We're at 10. There is LOL Comedy Club in Times Square.

01:13:22.000 LOL. Yeah.

01:13:24.000 How dare they?

01:13:24.000 And then there's like places, there's like, and then like some rooms too.

01:13:27.000 There's Joe Coy there every week.

01:13:31.000 Times Square LOL. LOL. Chicks love him, LOL. He's a good dude, I'm not fucking with him. 1.00

01:13:39.000 11, we're at 11. No, 12. And then there's like, oh, Eastville Comedy Club? 0.89

01:13:43.000 13, I think.

01:13:45.000 Yeah.

01:13:46.000 I mean, it's pretty nuts.

01:13:48.000 Yeah, so that's the major clubs.

01:13:50.000 It's real clubs.

01:13:50.000 Did you get Gotham?

01:13:51.000 Did we say Gotham?

01:13:51.000 I did say Gotham.

01:13:52.000 So that's the major clubs.

01:13:55.000 Yeah.

01:13:55.000 And then on top of that, you've got how many bar shows, do you think?

01:13:59.000 In the city or around even the boroughs?

01:14:01.000 Just in the city.

01:14:02.000 Just in Manhattan? 0.99

01:14:03.000 I mean, there's got to be fucking 10 a night, if I had to guess. 0.99

01:14:08.000 10 a night? 0.99

01:14:08.000 At least. 0.99

01:14:09.000 Wow.

01:14:10.000 That's crazy.

01:14:11.000 It's also like the people that live in New York and go to New York, they're more into plays and live performances than I think the West Coast is.

01:14:19.000 Well, if you're a young person or any person who's got free time at night and you're looking for some entertainment, it's one of the best places in the world to go.

01:14:27.000 You can go to The Cellar.

01:14:28.000 You can go to Caroline's.

01:14:29.000 I mean, you can see live comedy in New York every night of the week.

01:14:32.000 You can see Killers.

01:14:33.000 You can see, you know, Attell and C.K. and all these different people show up at clubs.

01:14:37.000 I mean, it's one of the best places in the world to go out and see live comedy.

01:14:42.000 Oh, New York, yeah.

01:14:43.000 Fantastic.

01:14:44.000 Yeah, I mean, like, just to go out.

01:14:46.000 I mean, that's what people, if they've never been to New York before, they're like, there's so many restaurants, there's so many this, there's so many that. 0.97

01:14:52.000 It's a fucking mad scene.

01:14:54.000 I drove by the Laugh Factory last night out here, and it was like, the line was, like, wrapped around the building. 0.99

01:14:57.000 That's because Jamie doesn't let people in.

01:14:59.000 He wants that line to be wrapped around the building.

01:15:00.000 He doesn't just, like, let people in.

01:15:02.000 He makes you stay outside to keep that line out.

01:15:04.000 Oh, really?

01:15:05.000 And then we're signing up for tomorrow.

01:15:08.000 A lot of them is like the open mic nights.

01:15:10.000 The open mic nights, they make people sit out there from 9 o'clock in the morning, whatever the fuck the sign-up time is, and they have to wait in line until they get picked, and then they go on next week.

01:15:20.000 They don't even go on that week. 0.94

01:15:22.000 They wait in line all day, and they go on the next week.

01:15:26.000 Why?

01:15:26.000 Exactly.

01:15:28.000 We've been rallying against this.

01:15:29.000 Is it just like a control thing?

01:15:31.000 Exactly.

01:15:32.000 It's a ridiculous idea that he has that in doing so, he makes the club look more special.

01:15:37.000 Because there's always a big line.

01:15:38.000 It's tough to get in.

01:15:39.000 Why put your thumb on people that could eventually say, this is my home, this is the club that showed me the love.

01:15:45.000 Why?

01:15:46.000 Yeah.

01:15:46.000 I never got that.

01:15:47.000 It's that same evil shit that makes producers put someone on a reality show and then try to own everything about them for the next 10 years or whatever the fuck it is. 1.00

01:15:55.000 It's the same thing. 1.00

01:15:56.000 It's that greedy thing that people do out here. 0.99

01:15:58.000 This weird, creepy fucking behavior where... 0.98

01:16:02.000 The people that are coming up are not respected as potential equals. 0.99

01:16:05.000 And if they do somehow or another make it through, it's never through their own merit.

01:16:09.000 It's because of the good nature and your generosity that's led them to this position of being a good showbiz person.

01:16:20.000 I find it weird with any comedy club that doesn't have comics hanging out at it.

01:16:24.000 They want people to hang out, comedians to hang out.

01:16:28.000 That place, the Laugh Factory, that's the one thing that I've always heard.

01:16:31.000 No, they don't let you hang out there.

01:16:33.000 You can hang out there.

01:16:35.000 There's a club upstairs.

01:16:36.000 I know, I think, but that's only to a certain group of the big guys.

01:16:41.000 But the average comic is what always tells me that.

01:16:45.000 I did a club on the road one time where there was, like, young comics hanging out, so I was, like, I talked to them for a little while, and I was, like, you know, if you guys want to go on, like, you know, you can put you guys on, like, you guys, each one do, like, seven minutes or something, go for it.

01:16:58.000 And they told me, and I confirmed with the club that they go, oh, no, the club doesn't do guest spots at all.

01:17:04.000 I'm, like, at all?

01:17:04.000 I go, I thought it's kind of up to the, is it up to, like, the headliner if he, like, doesn't care?

01:17:08.000 Like, is it fine?

01:17:09.000 They go, no, that's just their policy, don't do it.

01:17:11.000 I go, oh, and I talked, when I talked to the manager guy, I was, like, why would you...

01:17:15.000 Discourage comics from hanging out.

01:17:17.000 It's very like, you know what I mean?

01:17:17.000 It doesn't make, it's not a friendly environment.

01:17:19.000 Right.

01:17:20.000 Well, Wendy Curtis, you know. 0.98

01:17:22.000 That's kind of the thing is you work those shitty open mic shows.

01:17:24.000 So eventually maybe they'll give you a shot at like hosting a weekend or, you know, doing something like that, guest spots.

01:17:29.000 Do you know Wendy from Comedy Works in Denver?

01:17:31.000 I know who she is.

01:17:33.000 She had a great way of describing it.

01:17:35.000 She goes, why would you sell widgets and not have a widget development team?

01:17:42.000 If you want to sell other people's widgets, you can make your own in-house widgets.

01:17:46.000 What are you doing when you're running a comedy club?

01:17:49.000 You're not developing any local talent?

01:17:51.000 You don't develop any of it?

01:17:52.000 It's one of the things, they were moving improvs into town, and she was saying, what are you guys going to do for developing local talent?

01:17:57.000 And they were like, nothing.

01:17:58.000 She was like, what?

01:17:59.000 That's alien.

01:18:01.000 She's developed a bunch of comedians out of that club. 0.98

01:18:03.000 She has a whole system of taking people from MCs to middle acts to headliners. 1.00

01:18:09.000 It's this really well thought out, really conscientious system of helping these artists.

01:18:18.000 Sometimes they have their babies, though.

01:18:19.000 When people come to New York, yeah, it's always a coin flip of someone's like, what city are you from?

01:18:23.000 And, you know, Miami.

01:18:24.000 Like, oh, what was your home club? 1.00

01:18:25.000 Like, oh, the owner there was a piece of shit. 1.00

01:18:27.000 Treat me like an asshole. 1.00

01:18:28.000 What'd you say about babies? 1.00

01:18:29.000 Some of them are babies?

01:18:31.000 No.

01:18:32.000 What'd you say?

01:18:32.000 Did I say babies?

01:18:34.000 Yeah, but I don't know.

01:18:35.000 Because you were saying that people complain about their home club.

01:18:39.000 When someone moves to New York from their home club, where they started, it's a coin flip whether they're going to say it was a great experience, they're very supportive of them. 0.99

01:18:48.000 They get behind some people, the local clubs, and then some, they're just like, they're such shitty people. 0.88

01:18:53.000 I never understand being shitty to local talent. 0.98

01:18:56.000 There's crazy people who own clubs, crazy people who own dance clubs, crazy people who own restaurants.

01:19:01.000 There really tends to be a certain personality type, yeah. 0.99

01:19:03.000 You gotta be a hardcore motherfucker to own a bar, you know, and to own a comedy club and just want to deal with comedians all the time, you gotta be either someone who loves comedy or an insane person. 0.88

01:19:12.000 Do you get frustrated when people that are around comedy enough, even if it doesn't make sense in their life, they're like, I'm gonna try, and they start doing open mics or you like, go for it. 0.99

01:19:21.000 What do you mean?

01:19:22.000 Do you get like, I know there's club owners in New York even that just fucking start doing comedy after owning the club for like three years, they're like, I'm doing it, I'm gonna give it a shot. 0.72

01:19:31.000 Why not? 0.51

01:19:31.000 Who knows? 0.51

01:19:32.000 Maybe they'll be good.

01:19:33.000 They hire bookers and the bookers start trying to do comedy.

01:19:35.000 It's very weird.

01:19:36.000 Well, Eleanor Kerrigan, she was a waitress at the comedy store forever.

01:19:41.000 I knew her as a waitress for more than 10 years.

01:19:43.000 Now she's a real professional comic. 1.00

01:19:46.000 She started many, many years in being around comedy.

01:19:50.000 Did she have no thought about doing it ever?

01:19:52.000 Nope.

01:19:52.000 She's an actress.

01:19:55.000 She was an actress.

01:19:55.000 She did a lot of acting.

01:19:56.000 She was in wrestling.

01:19:57.000 She did some pro wrestling. 0.99

01:19:59.000 And then somewhere along the line, she just decided, fuck it, I'm going to go on stage. 0.99

01:20:03.000 And she started doing stand-up. 0.99

01:20:05.000 Yeah, I mean...

01:20:06.000 Now she's a pro.

01:20:07.000 She's funny.

01:20:08.000 I mean, it's crazy.

01:20:09.000 I mean, she's smart.

01:20:10.000 So she understands what's funny and what's not funny.

01:20:12.000 She knows what's hack and what's not.

01:20:14.000 So she didn't fall into any pitfalls.

01:20:15.000 Maybe I feel the ego strike because I feel like when it's done...

01:20:18.000 Kurt Metzger?

01:20:20.000 You know Kurt?

01:20:21.000 Yeah, sure. 0.99

01:20:22.000 Kurt's never had a girlfriend that hasn't eventually been like, well, if this shithead can do it, I can do it. 0.98

01:20:27.000 And they've never vocalized that. 0.95

01:20:28.000 But in my mind, if my chick was like, I want to do comedy, I'd be like, what do you think?

01:20:32.000 It looks super simple?

01:20:34.000 You think it's that easy?

01:20:34.000 You just go, you know what?

01:20:35.000 I'm going to do your stupid thing. 1.00

01:20:36.000 It looks a lot more fun than my stupid thing. 1.00

01:20:38.000 Well, it's also when they're around comics, they see how fun it is, and they see how comics think, and then they start thinking like comics and saying ridiculous shit. 1.00

01:20:46.000 Sure. 0.98

01:20:46.000 If you're around a chick long enough, she'll start seeing how you pick things apart and make jokes. 0.98

01:20:53.000 Like, if you're around someone who's really funny at work, you know, and this, like, I used to have this boss who was a private investigator.

01:21:00.000 Dude was hilarious.

01:21:01.000 He was just instantly hilarious.

01:21:03.000 Just would find things that were goofy about people and you would just howl with this guy.

01:21:08.000 And I learned a lot, like, being around him, I started doing that, too.

01:21:12.000 Like, you start, like, seeing how he would find these patterns.

01:21:15.000 Like, he was very predatory. 0.59

01:21:17.000 Like, the patterns that we find that were fucked up in people and just attack those patterns. 0.86

01:21:20.000 And it's like, you pick it up in relationships, people pick it up in friendships.

01:21:25.000 So, you know, Kurt is a funny dude. 0.96

01:21:27.000 I get these chicks were probably around him, and they're like, you know what, I can fucking do this. 0.93

01:21:31.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:21:31.000 I see what's going on here. 0.98

01:21:32.000 I guess it means you can make it look effortless, maybe, but like...

01:21:35.000 Sort of, but also fun.

01:21:38.000 It's definitely fun, sure. 0.99

01:21:39.000 If you were not enjoying your life and not enjoying your job, but you saw a guy like you having the fucking time of his life, cracking jokes, making shit, you're like, God damn it, I think I could do that. 0.98

01:21:48.000 He looks way better than a regular job if you're a person that has a regular job. 0.99

01:21:54.000 And then someone like Big J comes along and you're hanging out with him and you're watching how he does it. 0.98

01:21:58.000 You're like, this fucking guy's barely working here. 0.99

01:22:00.000 Sure. 0.99

01:22:01.000 He's just laughing about shit and writing it down and then figuring out a way to say it on stage in a funny way. 1.00

01:22:05.000 Fuck selling insurance. 1.00

01:22:07.000 How many people did you grow up with before comedy that genuinely are happy for you? 1.00

01:22:14.000 Like really feel it.

01:22:16.000 What do you mean?

01:22:17.000 Like, do you have, like, friends from before comedy still?

01:22:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:22:20.000 And are they, like, genuinely happy for your success and, like, dig what you do?

01:22:24.000 I have one friend from, like, growing up that I'm still friends with, and it's because he's the only one of my friends that is doing what he wanted to do also.

01:22:32.000 You have to have that self-security before you can, like...

01:22:35.000 I go back to Philly constantly.

01:22:38.000 Barely.

01:22:38.000 I mean, I hung out with a lot of people growing up.

01:22:41.000 No one comes out. 0.98

01:22:42.000 No one gives a shit. 0.99

01:22:43.000 Really? 0.99

01:22:44.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:22:44.000 None of them give a shit at all. 0.99

01:22:45.000 None of them come to your shows, you mean? 0.99

01:22:47.000 Once in a while, one of them will pop up, but a lot of times they'll say they're coming and they don't show up. 0.99

01:22:50.000 I mean, I stopped giving a shit years ago. 0.98

01:22:52.000 I realized it all at one time because a bunch of them did come out once. 0.99

01:22:56.000 And afterwards, they were like, good job, man.

01:22:58.000 So we're all going over.

01:22:59.000 It's like dollar beer night at the so-and-so.

01:23:01.000 You want to hang?

01:23:01.000 I'm like, well, hang here for a few minutes, catch up, and whatever.

01:23:04.000 They go, the place kind of closes in like an hour, and you're like, alright, bye, fuckfaces, I guess. 0.99

01:23:09.000 So what did you want them to spend more time? 0.97

01:23:12.000 I didn't even dote over me, but I haven't seen these people in a while, and I was genuinely curious about what's going on with them.

01:23:16.000 But you didn't want to go to their spot.

01:23:18.000 But I just also, they were very dismissive of the whole thing.

01:23:21.000 They're like, thanks dude, pretty good job.

01:23:23.000 It just seemed very like, if they would have been like, wow dude, this is a pretty extraordinary thing you're doing. 0.99

01:23:30.000 I'm not saying they had to say those words, but if they showed that at all, it makes them have to face the fact that he said he was going to be a pilot, but he's working at a fucking gas station. 0.75

01:23:39.000 Do you attribute it to jealousy, or do you just disinterest, or what do you attribute it to? 0.95

01:23:44.000 It might be a little bit of both.

01:23:46.000 Who knows?

01:23:46.000 I know when I first started doing it, again, like you said, the way you did Taekwondo, it's a heavy commitment, especially because I started going after the first year of just doing it in Philly.

01:23:56.000 Keith Robinson grabbed me, Kurt Metzger, and Kevin Hart and started taking us up to New York.

01:24:00.000 And when I did that, I started not being able to do all the bullshit with my friends that we were doing. 0.58

01:24:05.000 I wasn't part of like Dollar Beer Night anymore, you know what I mean? 0.99

01:24:08.000 Or any of that shit. 0.59

01:24:09.000 So they feel like you kind of left them. 0.85

01:24:11.000 And, but when I would come back and be like, hey guys, I'm doing this cool thing, like come check this out.

01:24:15.000 They were just very like, eh, I don't care.

01:24:18.000 You know, and it's like, oh no, I'm going to go do this neat show in Atlantic City or whatever.

01:24:22.000 Well, isn't that the case always in life when you're growing up?

01:24:24.000 There's certain people that you grow up with because they went to school with you and they were your friends and some folks evolve and develop and change and grow and some people stagnate and actually develop problems for themselves to distract themselves.

01:24:36.000 Like, Have you had circumstantial friendships in comedy?

01:25:00.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:25:01.000 Like that.

01:25:01.000 You hung with someone for a little while.

01:25:04.000 DeRosa did.

01:25:05.000 He lived with me for a while when he first moved to New York.

01:25:08.000 When he moved out, and we were tight.

01:25:09.000 We were together every day.

01:25:10.000 We drove in together to the city from Queens and hung out all the time.

01:25:14.000 And I still describe me and Joe as friends.

01:25:16.000 He's my buddy, for sure.

01:25:18.000 But I'm probably the 30th person he would call if he had good news in his life.

01:25:23.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:25:23.000 Right.

01:25:24.000 I'd probably hear it third-hand first.

01:25:25.000 Right.

01:25:26.000 And we have no beef at all. 0.98

01:25:27.000 And when I see him, we love to catch up and bullshit and have a good time. 0.91

01:25:30.000 But you know what I'm saying? 0.93

01:25:31.000 So what's the issue?

01:25:33.000 You need more from him?

01:25:35.000 I'm just saying I need more from him.

01:25:37.000 I need him to call me too.

01:25:38.000 I think he's angry at my racisms also. 0.91

01:25:41.000 Oh, that Anthony Cumia thing the other day was just so ridiculous.

01:25:44.000 He did our show, and on the show he went on this long thing that was very jilted lover-ish in a lot of ways about Kumia not calling.

01:25:53.000 I'm like, why don't you just call him?

01:25:54.000 And also recognize that the guy's busy.

01:25:56.000 No, he defended all these other people, but he didn't defend me.

01:25:59.000 I'm like, oh, come on, man.

01:26:00.000 Because he didn't talk about you online.

01:26:04.000 You're upset at him.

01:26:05.000 And then there was this accusations of racism that they also didn't discuss.

01:26:11.000 It was so...

01:26:14.000 All of it could have been handled better.

01:26:16.000 Did you watch him go on the Anthony show?

01:26:18.000 Yeah.

01:26:18.000 Yeah, I listened to it.

01:26:20.000 I mean, look.

01:26:21.000 How'd that end?

01:26:22.000 He should have never just written him off.

01:26:25.000 If a guy's your friend and he's involved in some sort of a public crisis like Anthony was, you know, first of all, you have to recognize there's a tremendous amount of stress involved in any sort of physical altercation.

01:26:37.000 So don't expect people to behave rationally after someone punched him.

01:26:40.000 That's one.

01:26:41.000 And then two, don't expect people to behave rationally after gigantic groups of people start calling you a racist and saying what you're doing by writing all these things.

01:26:52.000 It's essentially a hate crime.

01:26:54.000 You get fired from your job.

01:26:55.000 People rally for you to get fired from your job.

01:26:57.000 Other people rally for you to get rehired.

01:27:13.000 Yeah, Joe made a little bit about him.

01:27:15.000 Yeah, and I love Joe.

01:27:17.000 He's a great guy.

01:27:17.000 Oh, yeah, absolutely.

01:27:18.000 That's what makes Joe a really funny comic, is that he obsesses on things.

01:27:22.000 He thinks about things until he finds out what's really funny about them, and then he figures out a way to do it on stage, and figures out a way to cut it down to a really funny joke.

01:27:29.000 He's a great comic.

01:27:30.000 Sure. 0.99

01:27:31.000 That same sort of curiosity, sensibility, obsession, all the combination of things mixed together in a stew, sometimes you can fuck with your personal life. 0.98

01:27:40.000 I think that's probably what happened there. 0.82

01:27:43.000 You know, that if it was a more rational circumstance for Anthony, more rational response by Joe, I think they could have had a conversation about it and worked it through.

01:27:51.000 And I think they did, kind of, on the show.

01:27:53.000 I just don't understand how Joe, in any way, shape, or form, had a feeling where it was like this effect to him in some way.

01:27:58.000 I don't know how people think, man.

01:28:00.000 I got tweets that were like, you know, cancel SiriusXM, stand by Ant.

01:28:05.000 And I just, you know, I just didn't.

01:28:08.000 And not that I don't, I did Anthony Cumia's podcast after that and talked to him.

01:28:13.000 I understand why he did what he did.

01:28:16.000 I think he shouldn't have done it the way he did it.

01:28:17.000 I think there's a better way to handle it.

01:28:19.000 I think he does too, though.

01:28:20.000 Of course he does, but I'm saying, but I just think, like, I don't know, but I agree that Sirius fired him.

01:28:26.000 I wish he didn't get fired.

01:28:28.000 I wouldn't have done it myself, but I'm not blown away.

01:28:30.000 When they said he's fired, I wasn't like, wait, what?

01:28:34.000 I completely understand that they fired him. 0.99

01:28:36.000 The shit that'll rain down on them, it wasn't worth it to them, so they fired him. 0.99

01:28:39.000 Yeah, I understand it too. 1.00

01:28:40.000 A business call.

01:28:40.000 It is kind of a business call, but it's also a business call to not do it.

01:28:44.000 You have to decide what helps your business.

01:28:47.000 Giving that guy an opportunity to express himself on the show would have generated a tremendous amount of ratings.

01:28:52.000 Absolutely.

01:28:53.000 And I think if he'd done it eloquently, which I'm sure he would have, there would have been a tremendous amount of support for keeping him on the show.

01:29:00.000 I think that his...

01:29:02.000 His argument and his assertion about the black community has always been there's a violence problem in the black community.

01:29:08.000 It's not that he's racist against all black people.

01:29:10.000 What his point has always been is that there's a lot of folks that are not willing to concede that there's a violence issue.

01:29:17.000 And he thinks there is an issue.

01:29:18.000 You know, where he and I, I don't know what his take on the social ramifications or the reasons for this racial issue or this violence issue in the black community.

01:29:28.000 You know, I think it's an economic thing.

01:29:30.000 What I've always pointed to is the gypsies. 1.00

01:29:32.000 Gypsies in England and Ireland who are constantly getting involved in crime and fighting and they're wild motherfuckers and they're white. 1.00

01:29:41.000 You know, it's those type of people, people that live in these economically challenging situations where there's a lot of bad people around them and a lot of crime and violence. 1.00

01:29:50.000 That's the atmosphere you live in. 0.99

01:29:52.000 That's the soup you fucking were born into and shit's hard to deal with for everybody. 0.99

01:29:58.000 And I think that what he did is also, it's a function of that form of media, like doing things in 140 characters. 1.00

01:30:07.000 You can't express yourself very good in 140 characters. 0.98

01:30:10.000 And if you take, even if you take something from something you said in this podcast and put it in 140 characters in quotes and put it on a tweet, it can make it look like a real piece of shit, you know? 0.98

01:30:19.000 Well, but what he did really was like... 0.98

01:30:21.000 He just tweeted out what he should have just said while he, you know, punched a piece of plywood.

01:30:27.000 Or, no, he should have said it on the radio.

01:30:28.000 No, no, absolutely.

01:30:29.000 But by then, he could have gotten a way to say it.

01:30:33.000 He said it eloquently.

01:30:35.000 I'm talking about in that moment of fury, you need to call a friend who's going to go, I know, dude, right?

01:30:40.000 I know you're so right.

01:30:41.000 And then 15 minutes later, when you calm down, you go, of course, I don't hate every black person. 0.83

01:30:45.000 It's like he vented...

01:30:48.000 And I said, and he's such a guy who's used to preaching to the choir, and he forgot that there's, like, regular people behind that choir that are going to be like, wait, what?

01:30:55.000 Waiting to hear, catch something like that.

01:30:57.000 It's way easier to take your tweet and retweet it than it is to say, hey, you've got to listen to Anthony on SiriusXM this morning. 1.00

01:31:04.000 When he was going off about how there's a violence problem in the black community and all the crazy shit that he screamed and yelled about. 1.00

01:31:09.000 That's one thing. 0.98

01:31:10.000 But to someone to just take those tweets and retweet them or take them and cut and paste them and put them in a blog completely outside of the context of who you are, what your style of communicating with has always been on the show.

01:31:22.000 The style of communicating on the show has always been him screaming.

01:31:25.000 He's always done that.

01:31:26.000 So when he does that in a Twitter form, it's par for the course.

01:31:30.000 I mean, that's what he does.

01:31:31.000 It's just when he does it on the radio...

01:31:33.000 The people that are going to be upset at that, they would have to listen to the whole thing to get to that.

01:31:38.000 They would have to listen to that chunk.

01:31:40.000 Someone would have to alert them to it.

01:31:42.000 They'd have to listen to it all play out.

01:31:44.000 All they have to do is just hear it, see it, retweet it.

01:31:46.000 See it, retweet it. 0.99

01:31:48.000 See it on a blog and then a bunch of fucking outrage attached to it and all these accusations. 0.99

01:31:52.000 But what do you do at that point? 0.98

01:31:54.000 I mean, in your opinion, do you...

01:31:56.000 Come out in high defense of yourself?

01:31:59.000 Or do you just go...

01:32:01.000 Sit back and go...

01:32:02.000 Look, my...

01:32:02.000 His resume kind of speaks for itself.

01:32:04.000 Like, you can just look at his body of work and know it's like he's clearly not a...

01:32:08.000 Outwardly racist.

01:32:10.000 A lot of close people to his world are black. 0.96

01:32:12.000 A lot of people will disagree with you there. 0.94

01:32:15.000 A lot of people will disagree with you.

01:32:16.000 That's a fact.

01:32:16.000 A lot of people will take a lot of the things that he said on the radio show, cut him out of context, put it up and say that these are more pieces of evidence that he's racist.

01:32:27.000 I don't think he's racist.

01:32:28.000 I think he's frustrated.

01:32:29.000 I think that he, like a lot of people that have been involved in these type of scenarios...

01:32:34.000 You only see the person's attacking you, and you only see the group that they're attached to. 0.99

01:32:39.000 And if I lived in New York and I had to deal with a lot of bullshit on a regular basis, I don't know how much bullshit he deals with, but whether it was bullshit coming from Irish people, or it's bullshit coming from, you know, Asian people that are fucking with me all the time. 1.00

01:32:52.000 I mean, if you're living in a group where there's a certain number of people from X community that are causing a lot of crimes, You're always going to have some frustration. 1.00

01:33:00.000 You're always going to be upset about that.

01:33:02.000 I don't know where his head's at.

01:33:04.000 I've never had long, uncensored conversations with him about this.

01:33:08.000 I've talked to him on the radio, and I love talking to him.

01:33:11.000 So if I had a guess, I would say no, I don't think he's racist.

01:33:14.000 I think he's just not scared of speaking his mind about very controversial issues that very easily Come across as racism when he's describing things like very real statistics, like crime statistics.

01:33:29.000 They're undeniable. 0.99

01:33:30.000 I mean, if you look at crime statistics and the amount of young African-American men that are in jail, it's fucking bananas. 1.00

01:33:36.000 It's bananas representative of the population as a whole, like this small amount of people that are black and then the large amount of black guys that are in jail. 0.99

01:33:44.000 You would go, okay, well, is that evidence of racism?

01:33:48.000 That that's why they're being prosecuted or is it evidence that they're committing far more crimes?

01:33:53.000 Is it a combination of both?

01:33:54.000 Is it a lack of social awareness that has allowed these inner cities to get completely out of hand, these impoverished neighborhoods?

01:34:01.000 Yeah, I think that. 0.99

01:34:02.000 But all the fury is just going to be that he was like, you know, some black bitch basically, you know, to be so dismissive. 0.99

01:34:07.000 No one's caring about the statistics he's throwing out. 0.99

01:34:09.000 They're only focusing... 1.00

01:34:10.000 But my point is, you can get those facts out If it had been a bunch of Irish people and he was like, you know, this Mick Ginger fuck just punched me, you know, cunt just punched me in the face. 1.00

01:34:21.000 Because he's white, he could do it, but if he was black. 1.00

01:34:24.000 But then his tweets would resonate more.

01:34:27.000 It wouldn't make any kind of news, but at least it would resonate more if he had some kind of facts and figures to support, you know, whatever. 0.98

01:34:33.000 Mick Ginger fucks attacking people. 1.00

01:34:33.000 The Mick Ginger fucks violence problem. 1.00

01:34:35.000 Joe, don't you find it interesting, though, that after all this recent shit about him being racist, that he doesn't just kind of back off and just for like a year talk about cupcakes or something like that? 0.99

01:34:46.000 No, why would he? 0.94

01:34:46.000 He's actually pushing it almost to the point of like, he's really proving freedom of speech and everything. 0.94

01:34:56.000 Like he's almost trying to make a point about, you know.

01:34:59.000 What are the examples you're talking about?

01:35:01.000 Well, like, you know, after all this thing of him being racist on Twitter, then he started going off on Ferguson, you know, all the Ferguson stuff.

01:35:10.000 But what did he, you see, when you talk about things like that, like, do you know specifically what he said about Ferguson?

01:35:14.000 I can pull it up, I don't have that memory.

01:35:17.000 What we know is about what Joe DeRosa talked about the other day, but he didn't cite any specifics either.

01:35:21.000 So I don't know what Anthony said about Ferguson.

01:35:23.000 If I knew, then I can comment on it specifically.

01:35:26.000 Well, I mean, I follow him on Twitter, and he's still doing silly things.

01:35:31.000 What do you think about Ferguson?

01:35:33.000 Yeah, you've got to give examples to make sense.

01:35:34.000 I'll just start pulling stuff up, but I didn't really want to go that deep into that point.

01:35:38.000 What I'm saying is, you can go on his Twitter and see what I'm talking about.

01:35:42.000 He doesn't back off.

01:35:43.000 Well, he doesn't have to.

01:35:44.000 Yeah, he doesn't back off for a reason, it seems like.

01:35:46.000 I think most people, if you got that much, like, you lost your job, you got in trouble on Twitter about a certain subject, then I'm like, alright, I'm not going to talk about Pi for a while.

01:35:55.000 Definitely.

01:35:55.000 No, because he's got his new show.

01:35:57.000 Yeah, and he immediately...

01:35:59.000 Made like a chunk of money.

01:36:00.000 You know, it's like a Netflix subscription type thing.

01:36:02.000 So he immediately made like a gang of money off that, I assume.

01:36:06.000 I don't know.

01:36:07.000 I don't know how well he's doing, but I hope he does well.

01:36:10.000 I thought that it would be probably smarter if he did it through subscription.

01:36:18.000 Through advertisers.

01:36:19.000 Because if you do it through advertisers, that way he's going to get a large number of people that are going to listen to it because if it's free, but he's kind of hamstringing himself by making a subscription service.

01:36:28.000 I think it's tough.

01:36:28.000 To make it cost money, you're definitely cutting people out of it, but I think there'll be an initial thing, but you have to get people to latch on board.

01:36:36.000 It's really hard to get people to pay for shit on the internet in this day and age. 0.88

01:36:41.000 There's so much awesome stuff that's free. 0.99

01:36:42.000 Howard Stern gives you, like, you know, I mean, you basically are paying for Sirius for, like, that or ONA, and you can't argue that, like, Stern Channel gives you, like, tons of energy.

01:36:50.000 You know, for what you're paying, like, he gives you a lot of different stuff.

01:36:53.000 It's, like, him all day and other shows and...

01:36:55.000 And his old content and just like fun productions and stuff.

01:36:58.000 Yeah, but that's not online.

01:36:59.000 That's on Sirius.

01:37:00.000 It's like if you subscribe to Sirius.

01:37:02.000 Is that what you're saying?

01:37:02.000 You can get that online too.

01:37:03.000 Yeah, but I'm saying it's for making people pay for something.

01:37:05.000 But he did 20 some years of giving it for free.

01:37:08.000 So now you can get people to pay for it.

01:37:09.000 I'm confused.

01:37:10.000 But we're talking about two different things.

01:37:11.000 We're talking about satellite radio or we're talking about internet subscription.

01:37:14.000 Does he have an internet subscription thing?

01:37:15.000 Well, is that the same thing?

01:37:16.000 I mean, it is.

01:37:17.000 You could watch it online.

01:37:18.000 Stern's thing.

01:37:19.000 Well, sort of, but it's satellite radio.

01:37:21.000 You're working for a company.

01:37:22.000 I mean, it's not like what Anthony's doing.

01:37:24.000 Anthony's doing a completely independent internet subscription thing.

01:37:27.000 I was confused.

01:37:28.000 I thought, like, Howard had something like that.

01:37:29.000 But Howard went from being for free to basically cost money to listen to him if you want to.

01:37:33.000 I'm saying Opie going from, like, you know, he did years of free and then years of...

01:37:38.000 You know, he wasn't a specific charge for SiriusXM.

01:37:42.000 Me and Anthony.

01:37:43.000 Yeah, he wasn't.

01:37:43.000 But now he's asking for...

01:37:45.000 A Netflix amount of money for one show.

01:37:49.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:37:51.000 He's not really giving you anything besides that two-hour show.

01:37:54.000 It's very different.

01:37:55.000 Because, first of all, Sirius is in so many cars when you buy it.

01:37:58.000 When you buy it, you get a 90-day subscription.

01:38:00.000 And it plays, and you get to listen to...

01:38:03.000 Stern, you get addicted to it, and listen to all the different music channels, you get addicted to it.

01:38:07.000 But you're paying for satellite radio.

01:38:08.000 You're not paying for a specific show on the internet.

01:38:11.000 There's a complete total difference in what you're getting.

01:38:13.000 To get something on the internet is what I'm saying.

01:38:16.000 It's very difficult to get people to pay for something that's on the internet.

01:38:20.000 It's not difficult to get people to subscribe to satellite radio, especially because satellite radio is in their car.

01:38:25.000 But zillions of people are like Netflix, and that's all internet-based.

01:38:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:38:28.000 But Netflix gives you...

01:38:30.000 Thousands of options.

01:38:31.000 That's the point I'm making.

01:38:32.000 It's hard to get people to pay for, like, one two-hour show a day, four days a week.

01:38:36.000 Netflix is movies and television shows.

01:38:38.000 I mean, if you're paying for Netflix, you're paying for something that you can watch on television.

01:38:42.000 I mean, I guess you could watch Anthony's show on TV, but that's not how most people are probably watching it.

01:38:47.000 I bet the majority of the people that listen to a show are getting it...

01:38:51.000 Yeah.

01:38:51.000 They're getting it on...

01:38:52.000 Like as an audio thing that they listen to on the subway or something.

01:38:55.000 Or in their car.

01:38:56.000 That's what most people do with these things.

01:38:58.000 It's just hard... 0.99

01:38:59.000 It's hard to get people to pay for shit online. 1.00

01:39:01.000 You know? 0.99

01:39:02.000 I mean, people are trying to do it like Drive Plus...

01:39:04.000 Drive is a YouTube channel that I really love.

01:39:07.000 It's all about various sports cars and the inner workings of them, and they do all these really cool in-depth pieces.

01:39:15.000 They just changed their format, and it became Drive Plus, and they made people subscribe to it.

01:39:21.000 And the very video they did it to, the first one, was one that I was a part of, this Shark Works company that makes these cars.

01:39:28.000 And the comments were just filled with pissed off people. 0.97

01:39:32.000 People were so fucking mad. 0.87

01:39:34.000 I mean, they were so mad that all of a sudden they were going to be forced to have to pay, I forget what the amount a month is. 0.99

01:39:40.000 I don't think it was a lot, like five bucks or something.

01:39:43.000 I don't remember though.

01:39:44.000 And the entire comments for the video was all about people being angry that they had to pay for it.

01:39:50.000 I wonder what Hulu's thing was with their fall off or whatever when they went from, hey, have it all for free to like, now we charge you.

01:39:57.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:39:57.000 I bet they lost a lot of people.

01:39:59.000 I mean, that's just what happens. 1.00

01:40:00.000 People don't want to pay for shit. 0.99

01:40:02.000 But Netflix is so good. 1.00

01:40:03.000 There's so much stuff.

01:40:04.000 And they have their own independent programming, like that House of Cards show.

01:40:09.000 Chelsea Handler's going to do a show on it. 1.00

01:40:12.000 They're actually becoming like a network. 0.95

01:40:15.000 So if you pay X amount a month for it, the amount of content that they have access to is fucking incredible.

01:40:22.000 I like that plan, too.

01:40:23.000 They just release the season as a whole right away.

01:40:26.000 Yeah.

01:40:26.000 That really does make for, like...

01:40:28.000 Well, there's also some weird shit that goes on with them with, like, cable internet providers and different internet providers.

01:40:34.000 Like, now they're going to have to pay more because they use up more. 0.91

01:40:38.000 Like, they have to cut deals.

01:40:39.000 Otherwise, they throttle back Netflix users. 0.61

01:40:42.000 There's a lot of, like, weird, shady shit when it comes to, like, bandwidth and how much bandwidth it's worth and how much bandwidth gets soaked up by different applications. 0.95

01:40:51.000 What shitty Ben Affleck, Justin Timberlake movie are you going to make about that? 0.97

01:40:55.000 Guys fighting for bandwidth. 0.98

01:40:56.000 Behind the scenes wars.

01:40:59.000 Bandwidth wars.

01:41:01.000 Yeah, it's tricky, man. 0.89

01:41:02.000 If you're trying to sell shit online, unless you're a Netflix, like if HBO became an online thing only, even with all their awesome shows that they have, that would be tough. 0.97

01:41:13.000 Although, that said, the hipsters have dominated that world, and a lot of them don't do cable at all and just get a subscription to HBO Go and Showtime.com and all that stuff, and they watch all their shit like that. 0.97

01:41:25.000 Well, there's a lot of people that do it through iTunes. 0.56

01:41:27.000 Yeah.

01:41:28.000 You do, like, Apple.

01:41:29.000 You know, you get an Apple TV thing.

01:41:31.000 Yeah, and I get a subscription to all those things.

01:41:32.000 You know, it could probably cost you somewhere like 50 bucks a month, and you pretty much have access to everything, like, the next day.

01:41:39.000 Pretty close. 0.99

01:41:39.000 I mean, there's a lot of shit you can get. 0.99

01:41:41.000 I mean, I use iTunes for... 0.99

01:41:44.000 I use the Apple TV to watch that show, The Strain.

01:41:47.000 And I tried to watch it on regular TV. Oh my god.

01:41:51.000 The fucking commercials make you hemorrhage. 1.00

01:41:53.000 You can't believe how often the fucking commercials come on. 1.00

01:41:57.000 It's like a couple minutes in, bam, there's another commercial. 1.00

01:41:59.000 And then a couple minutes after that, bam, there's another commercial.

01:42:02.000 Like, oh my god.

01:42:03.000 Like, they just assault you with commercials.

01:42:05.000 I keep cable, DirecTV for a few reasons.

01:42:08.000 One, the football package is huge.

01:42:10.000 But two, there's also something that makes me feel like an adult having cable.

01:42:16.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:42:17.000 Like, you're supposed to have cable.

01:42:18.000 I don't know why...

01:42:19.000 But it really does.

01:42:21.000 I stopped now, but for a long time, well beyond needing one, I always had a house phone, like a landline.

01:42:27.000 So I was like, you're supposed to have a landline, just in case.

01:42:30.000 But it's just gone all, I bought into the cell phone now.

01:42:33.000 Well, it's also like, you don't ever want to have something that you can't just turn off. 0.98

01:42:37.000 The beautiful thing about a cell phone is you shut that bitch off and nobody can get in touch with you. 1.00

01:42:43.000 But, um, yeah, like, those, uh, a lot of people do that Netflix thing now where they don't have cable, they just have Netflix and they use, like, their computer for shit and then hook up one of those, uh... 0.98

01:42:53.000 I do it right now. 0.79

01:42:54.000 I just went.

01:42:55.000 And it's great because you can just target what you want instead of listening to background noise, pretty much.

01:43:00.000 Yeah, it's probably smart to keep you from watching as much stuff, too.

01:43:04.000 You're not just flipping through the channels.

01:43:07.000 Sometimes there's a search process.

01:43:08.000 They're like, what do I want to see here?

01:43:11.000 Sometimes it'll take a half an hour just looking for a good movie to watch.

01:43:14.000 It's just a wasted half hour here.

01:43:16.000 But having cable, I'll never seek out the movie Breaking ever again.

01:43:20.000 But I'll watch the last 45 minutes of it three times a week if it pops on.

01:43:25.000 Yeah, if I'm flipping through the channels and Roadhouse comes on, it's like 2 o'clock in the morning.

01:43:28.000 You're not going to stop watching Roadhouse. 1.00

01:43:30.000 I'm going to watch that shit. 1.00

01:43:31.000 It's like a gift of the universe. 1.00

01:43:33.000 If you're alone in a hotel room flipping through the channels and Roadhouse comes on and you're on the road, you'll start laughing.

01:43:38.000 You gotta watch it.

01:43:39.000 You owe it to the Jeff Healy band to do it.

01:43:41.000 I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice.

01:43:44.000 How I know when that is, I will tell you.

01:43:47.000 My mom used to come home from work in the middle of the night and feed my little brother and we didn't have cable and we had a VCR and we had Roadhouse and she would watch Roadhouse every night.

01:43:56.000 My mother knows every line to Roadhouse. 1.00

01:43:59.000 That's ridiculous. 0.97

01:44:00.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:44:00.000 It was a VHS? Miho. 0.97

01:44:02.000 Yeah, VHS. Oh my god.

01:44:04.000 I had that and Hard to Kill on the same tape, and we watched it constantly.

01:44:10.000 You know what's amazing?

01:44:11.000 If you go back in time to when those video stores were out, like the local video stores, like every community had a local video store, like a mom and pop video store. 0.97

01:44:20.000 And then the Blockbuster came in, and fucking, oh my god, Blockbuster's gonna shut down all these mom and pop video stores. 0.95

01:44:25.000 In a lot of ways they did, except Blockbuster didn't have porn. 0.99

01:44:28.000 That's what kept them alive.

01:44:29.000 So if you wanted to get the porn, you'd have to go to the mom-and-pop video stores.

01:44:32.000 If you came back to that day when those things were all, like, everywhere, and you said, within a couple decades, these won't even exist anymore.

01:44:41.000 They're gonna be gone.

01:44:42.000 You're gonna get everything out of the air.

01:44:43.000 People will be like, what?

01:44:45.000 Yeah, you're just gonna press a button on a machine, and you're gonna get it out of the air.

01:44:48.000 Specifically for porn, what you had to go through, too.

01:44:51.000 Like, our franchise in Philly, we had a place called West Coast Video.

01:44:56.000 You know that at all?

01:44:57.000 And there was just these red boxes.

01:44:58.000 Everything was like in a red box.

01:44:59.000 There was no, like, the covers were up on the wall, but you got a red box.

01:45:03.000 And the beauty of that was I would try to just, like, find, like, my mom and step-pop would rent porno movies when I was younger, I guess, for themselves.

01:45:13.000 And I would...

01:45:13.000 They'd leave it in the VCR. We only had one VCR, so I guess they'd watch it when I'd stay at my grandmom's, and I'd come and I'd see the title of it.

01:45:20.000 And they'd always find titles that weren't very porn-sounding.

01:45:24.000 And then I would go, I'd stay at my grandmom's the next night, and I would tell her, like, hey, if I reserve movies, go pick them up, and I would reserve...

01:45:30.000 I'd send my little grandma in to go pick up porn movies for me. 1.00

01:45:34.000 She'd be like, you want me to make popcorn and we'll watch it together?

01:45:36.000 I'm like, I'm going to probably watch it later.

01:45:39.000 Did she ever call you on it?

01:45:41.000 No, but one time I never returned one and they ended up calling.

01:45:45.000 You tried to keep it.

01:45:46.000 I just tried to keep it.

01:45:47.000 It was terrible.

01:45:47.000 It wasn't even a porn.

01:45:48.000 It was one I rented.

01:45:49.000 It was like a Skinamax-y type thing.

01:45:53.000 I had a friend that if the videos were really good, he would not bring them back.

01:45:56.000 He was like, I'll take the penalty.

01:45:58.000 I need to keep this one.

01:45:59.000 Porns?

01:45:59.000 Yeah.

01:46:00.000 Oh, I had a guy take me to court for that, for not returning.

01:46:05.000 Really?

01:46:05.000 And then eventually, the only reason I got off the hook eventually is that it was a mom and pop place and it went under.

01:46:09.000 It was called Wow Video.

01:46:11.000 There was a mom-and-pop place when I used to hang out at this pool hall in White Plains, New York, and there was a mom-and-pop place across the street that they found out had Tracy Lord videos that were illegal.

01:46:21.000 Wow.

01:46:22.000 And the guys at the pool hall found out about it, and so they took them all, and they paid the penalty on all of them.

01:46:29.000 They're like, these are valuable because she's underage. 0.99

01:46:32.000 And I'm like, bro, that shit's illegal. 1.00

01:46:34.000 What the fuck are you doing? 1.00

01:46:35.000 Why are you watching that? 1.00

01:46:37.000 She means she looked like she was of age. 0.93

01:46:40.000 She had large breasts and she was enjoying it sexually. 1.00

01:46:45.000 She had those big banana tits too. 1.00

01:46:47.000 Yeah, they were weird tits. 1.00

01:46:48.000 Beautiful girl. 0.99

01:46:50.000 But anyway, she was fucking like 17 years old or 16 years old at the time when she was making these. 0.99

01:46:55.000 Big muff. 0.98

01:46:55.000 These guys found out about it. 0.98

01:46:57.000 Yeah, well the whole deal.

01:46:58.000 She was a woman.

01:46:59.000 Yeah.

01:47:00.000 I mean, she looked like a woman. 1.00

01:47:01.000 She's obviously a little girl, but if you looked at her like, what is that?

01:47:04.000 You would say, well, that's a naked woman. 1.00

01:47:05.000 Yeah.

01:47:06.000 You know? 1.00

01:47:06.000 No, no, she's 16, you piece of shit. 1.00

01:47:08.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:47:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:47:09.000 How would I know? 1.00

01:47:10.000 You showed me her naked.

01:47:12.000 Do you watch the documentaries? 1.00

01:47:14.000 Like, her boyfriends were, like, in their mid-20s, early 30s and shit. 0.97

01:47:18.000 Like, none of them had any idea. 0.88

01:47:19.000 You mean the guys on the show or actual boyfriends?

01:47:22.000 Her boyfriend.

01:47:23.000 The show. 0.95

01:47:24.000 I'm calling the porn video the show.

01:47:26.000 The guy in the show?

01:47:27.000 She dated porn stars for a while.

01:47:30.000 Oh, she dated them.

01:47:31.000 Remember that guy Tom Byron?

01:47:32.000 Uh-huh.

01:47:32.000 Remember when there was only like four dude porn stars?

01:47:34.000 Yeah, there was like Peter North, Tom Byron.

01:47:36.000 He's always the first one because he shot the biggest loads. 0.94

01:47:38.000 Isn't it weirdly gay if that's the reason? 1.00

01:47:40.000 It's gayer that he did gay porn. 0.99

01:47:42.000 Did he before that? 1.00

01:47:42.000 Yeah, he did gay porn. 1.00

01:47:44.000 Oh, wasting those big loads on dude butts? 1.00

01:47:46.000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

01:47:48.000 I don't know about wasting them.

01:47:50.000 He seemed to be enjoying it.

01:47:52.000 And this is pre-Viagra. 0.98

01:47:53.000 So he was really getting hard for gay guys. 0.87

01:47:55.000 He stayed in there like...

01:47:57.000 He stayed in the game a really long time simply because of those loads. 0.98

01:48:02.000 They were ridiculous. 0.73

01:48:03.000 The fact that I know what you're talking about... 0.97

01:48:04.000 Like, if you brought it up about any other performer, you'd be like, I'm calling him a performer.

01:48:09.000 What do you call them? 0.99

01:48:10.000 What do you call a guy who fucks chicks? 1.00

01:48:12.000 This artist? 1.00

01:48:12.000 Adult artist? 1.00

01:48:13.000 Peter North?

01:48:14.000 This powerhouse.

01:48:16.000 Well, that's what everybody knew.

01:48:17.000 Those are the things you knew. 1.00

01:48:18.000 Ron Jeremy can count down from ten and come, and Peter North shoots fucking face-covering loads. 0.99

01:48:24.000 What do you mean everybody knows that? 0.99

01:48:25.000 I didn't fucking know that. 0.99

01:48:26.000 You guys didn't know that? 0.99

01:48:27.000 How do you know that?

01:48:30.000 All his porns is what he would do.

01:48:32.000 Really? 0.98

01:48:32.000 He'd start counting down from ten, or he has the girl count down, and then when she says one, he pulls out and blows a load on her. 0.98

01:48:37.000 No kidding.

01:48:37.000 Really?

01:48:38.000 I had no idea.

01:48:39.000 I had no idea about that either.

01:48:40.000 Yeah, that's a weird thing to know, Simon.

01:48:41.000 Why don't you guys take a little time to get to know the hedgehog?

01:48:44.000 How many have you watched? 0.93

01:48:44.000 How many porns have you watched? 0.93

01:48:46.000 Oh, tons. 0.94

01:48:47.000 I had a nice stack collection.

01:48:50.000 Yeah, and all the tapes were red.

01:48:52.000 They were always like shitty colors, too. 0.74

01:48:54.000 Red videotapes. 0.64

01:48:56.000 Yeah, right? 1.00

01:48:56.000 The cheapest fucking stuff. 1.00

01:48:58.000 I had a friend who had two VCRs, this black dude named Frank. 1.00

01:49:02.000 He would just make a compilation of his favorite...

01:49:05.000 They were great to borrow. 1.00

01:49:07.000 No, because whatever it was, it was like, fat-ass white bitches. 1.00

01:49:10.000 And then it would just be like, oh... 1.00

01:49:12.000 So he was like the first compilation guy.

01:49:15.000 Yeah.

01:49:15.000 Because they have compilations now that you can get online.

01:49:17.000 Way before the internet.

01:49:18.000 But I think if I was a...

01:49:20.000 I'd have a severe problem if I grew up with the internet.

01:49:23.000 It was good that I had to really work to get my porn.

01:49:27.000 You'd have a severe problem if you had instant access.

01:49:29.000 Absolutely.

01:49:30.000 I think a lot of people do.

01:49:31.000 I think a lot of people do have a problem.

01:49:32.000 And I think it's... 0.99

01:49:33.000 As someone who has a daughter, I fucking hate that... 0.99

01:49:37.000 You know, facial cum shots is part of the common day. 0.99

01:49:40.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:49:40.000 Like, that's what you do right out of the gate sexually now. 0.99

01:49:42.000 Anal sex, too. 1.00

01:49:43.000 Right out of the gate sexually. 1.00

01:49:45.000 No one...

01:49:46.000 A girl's like... 1.00

01:49:48.000 And I said, I'm not going back to that. 0.97

01:49:50.000 Well, I'm 36 years old, but I do remember in school, like, the girls who fucked, it was kind of quiet. 0.99

01:49:56.000 And the ones who everybody knew fucked, they were kind of shitty to them. 1.00

01:50:00.000 They kind of got like, you know, like, oh, she's a slut. 1.00

01:50:02.000 Which was just all the guys wishing they were fucking, you know, wishing they were fucking her. 1.00

01:50:07.000 But still, like, vilify. 1.00

01:50:09.000 You know, I think the internet's just, like, made that completely, like, 16-year-old girls talking about who sucks dick better. 1.00

01:50:15.000 That's crazy. 0.99

01:50:15.000 Is that really what's going on? 0.99

01:50:17.000 Are you there when this is happening?

01:50:18.000 Or are you just hearing rumors?

01:50:19.000 It's happening.

01:50:19.000 No, it's happening.

01:50:20.000 No, no, no.

01:50:21.000 I'm sure.

01:50:21.000 I have siblings who are very younger than me, because I have a stepfather, so I have a sister who's still in high school.

01:50:28.000 Oh. 0.99

01:50:29.000 So, I mean, like, she's, you know, hopefully to the best of my knowledge not doing this stuff, but they were doing a thing a few years ago where the kids would wear the colors, you snap off the color, that means, like, you know, finger your asshole in the locker room, and then you go do it. 0.98

01:50:42.000 And the girls would always be like, ugh, so unfair. 1.00

01:50:44.000 And they would just go do it?

01:50:46.000 Just go do it, yeah.

01:50:47.000 Because it was the rule, the bracelet rule that they were doing.

01:50:50.000 If that was going on, I would never be a comic, that's for sure.

01:50:53.000 I would have gotten nothing done.

01:50:54.000 Do you really believe that, though?

01:50:56.000 Yeah.

01:50:57.000 Nah, you would eventually become a comic.

01:50:58.000 You would just get bored of it eventually.

01:51:00.000 Maybe, but I mean, even now, at one point I lived with a guy who worked for the cable company, so he got unblocked. 0.94

01:51:06.000 Just a shitty Playboy channel. 0.72

01:51:08.000 Like, how benign the Playboy channel is. 0.99

01:51:11.000 Right.

01:51:11.000 And if I was playing Madden on the loading screens on PlayStation 2, I would constantly flip back, like...

01:51:18.000 Back and forth to the Playboy channel? 0.98

01:51:19.000 Just to see whatever it was, because there'd be a girl with her pussy out, and that would just, for some reason, I'd be like, I'm gonna watch that for a minute, and then go back to the loading screen. 1.00

01:51:25.000 Remember when they had fake porn? 0.99

01:51:28.000 The, like, Emmanuel series on, like, Showtime?

01:51:31.000 Yeah.

01:51:31.000 You'd watch these weird movies, it was like...

01:51:34.000 Kind of, it wasn't, it was romance that wasn't designed for women.

01:51:37.000 It was like romance that was designed for like couples or men to watch.

01:51:41.000 So it eventually got to people having sex, but all you really saw was like, you saw breasts and you saw the man like... 0.90

01:51:50.000 Fake-humping the girl, but you saw no penetration. 0.97

01:51:54.000 But you could tell their organs were misplaced. 0.99

01:51:56.000 Their sexual organs were not lined up correctly. 0.99

01:51:58.000 She's blowing them, but she's head-butting them in the chest. 1.00

01:52:01.000 Yeah, and if he was banging her, like, where's her pussy? 1.00

01:52:05.000 Sitting there, belly button. 1.00

01:52:06.000 It's weird.

01:52:06.000 Some strange place.

01:52:07.000 None of it made any sense.

01:52:09.000 But they were like, fake moan.

01:52:13.000 And they were always on late at night. 1.00

01:52:15.000 They still have that crap, man. 1.00

01:52:16.000 Do they? 1.00

01:52:16.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:52:17.000 I couldn't jerk off that now if I tried for a long... 0.97

01:52:20.000 There's no way. 0.88

01:52:21.000 I'm too far gone.

01:52:22.000 Ugh.

01:52:23.000 Yeah, you can't go back.

01:52:24.000 You could if you were, like, trapped, though. 0.88

01:52:27.000 Like, if you were, like, in the Amazon jungle for, like, six months, and then all of a sudden you got to a hotel room, like, oh my god, TV, and you flip through the channels, and Carry On, Emmanuel was on, and it was, like, a little shitty filter, because the cameras they used back then were dog shit, so it was, 0.87

01:52:42.000 like, there was no HD. It was, like, really low resolution and kind of fuzzy, and Oh, I used to be able to jerk off to, like, the Girls Gone Wild, like, promo video on, like, E! Channel at night.

01:52:51.000 But, I mean, it's just, like, it's just such a thing of the past.

01:52:54.000 I couldn't even...

01:52:55.000 Everyone was like...

01:52:56.000 How could you do that?

01:52:57.000 Why you couldn't get so excited to the fappening thing, all the celebrity nudes that came out, is because...

01:53:03.000 Still Images.

01:53:04.000 I can't jerk off to Still Images anymore. 0.94

01:53:07.000 Yeah, and the only thing that's hot about it... 0.95

01:53:09.000 Well, they're hot, but it's just that they're famous.

01:53:12.000 And you know them from something else. 0.92

01:53:13.000 Yeah, that's a weird thing about porn stars.

01:53:16.000 It's like...

01:53:17.000 People used to have this idea, at least, that the really beautiful women weren't porn stars. 1.00

01:53:22.000 The really beautiful women were like Cindy Crawford or, you know... 1.00

01:53:25.000 Whoever.

01:53:26.000 Fill in the blank.

01:53:27.000 Farrah Fawcett.

01:53:27.000 Those are the really beautiful ones.

01:53:29.000 And the porn stars are really a couple notches behind. 0.99

01:53:31.000 But there's porn stars today that are fucking tens. 0.99

01:53:35.000 They're unbelievably beautiful. 1.00

01:53:37.000 Like, you look at them, you're like, that girl could be Lindsay Lohan.

01:53:40.000 She could be a supermodel. 1.00

01:53:42.000 She could be anything.

01:53:42.000 And she's just getting plowed.

01:53:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:53:46.000 Slanging that good dick. 1.00

01:53:47.000 You know what I'm talking about? 0.99

01:53:48.000 But they've also, like, removed, like, the, uh...

01:53:53.000 Excitement of that because it's so out there.

01:53:54.000 There's still something more exciting.

01:53:56.000 If you saw a girl that was hot at the gas station and somehow you were able to see her 10 minutes later do something where you opened the door by accident and she was naked, that's way more exciting.

01:54:05.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:54:06.000 I guess.

01:54:06.000 Because you're seeing them, it's from a different context.

01:54:10.000 Like a porn star you know you're going to see. 0.53

01:54:12.000 If that same porn star happened to be the star of a sitcom and you saw her naked, that would make that so much more exciting. 1.00

01:54:18.000 But the fact that you know her from sucking dick, like seeing her pussy isn't that exciting. 1.00

01:54:23.000 I get it. 1.00

01:54:24.000 I see what you're saying.

01:54:25.000 Yeah, unless you weren't being inundated with porn.

01:54:29.000 See, if you're being inundated with porn, I think that's the real issue, is you get numb to the porn.

01:54:33.000 And then what the real excitement is, like, oh, I'm not supposed to be seeing this porn, so it makes it exciting. 0.99

01:54:39.000 My favorite kind is the home video shit. 1.00

01:54:41.000 If you weren't getting inundated with porn, and then you saw some porn, some naked sex, you'd be like, whoa, this is great. 1.00

01:54:47.000 You'd get excited. 0.97

01:54:49.000 I think it's just a numbness thing.

01:54:51.000 That's what it is, yeah. 0.99

01:54:53.000 I think I also used to be able to jerk off in fucking three minutes. 0.99

01:54:57.000 Now it's a whole process because you're like, I can find a better video. 0.99

01:55:00.000 It's like a challenge to yourself.

01:55:02.000 And then the head shake you make it yourself when you're just jerking off to that third one you found like 40 minutes later, you're like, come on, man. 0.68

01:55:08.000 I could have made phone calls. 0.80

01:55:10.000 I got emails to send. 0.99

01:55:11.000 Could have got a lot of shit done. 0.99

01:55:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:55:13.000 And here I am, right back at the same stupid bachelorette party gangbang. 1.00

01:55:17.000 Well, it's like those monkey tests they do with cocaine and heroin. 1.00

01:55:21.000 They give the monkeys heroin, they take the heroin once a day, and they're straight. 1.00

01:55:25.000 They give the monkeys coke, and they just keep hitting that coke button until their fucking hearts explode. 0.99

01:55:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:55:30.000 You know, there's something about giving guys access.

01:55:34.000 Just constant 24-hour porn. 1.00

01:55:36.000 I mean, that's where all that gagging shit and gaping and fucking all the abuse porn. 1.00

01:55:41.000 It's got to become violent. 1.00

01:55:42.000 Well, it comes out of, like, what's next?

01:55:44.000 We've done all this.

01:55:45.000 What's next? 1.00

01:55:45.000 We're going to fucking pee in girls' butts. 1.00

01:55:47.000 Okay? 1.00

01:55:48.000 Okay, how about we pee in girls' butts and we attach a straw to that pee and we make them drink it out of their own butt? 1.00

01:55:53.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

01:55:54.000 That guy's in jail, I think. 1.00

01:55:55.000 Yeah, he is in jail.

01:55:55.000 He's out now.

01:55:56.000 Is he?

01:55:57.000 Did you ever see that documentary?

01:55:58.000 Max Hardcore.

01:55:59.000 Max Hardcore.

01:55:59.000 Did you ever see that documentary called Hardcore, where the girl comes over from England?

01:56:03.000 No.

01:56:05.000 It'll make you furious at that guy.

01:56:07.000 Did you ever see that before? 0.99

01:56:08.000 I think I saw clips of it on eFuck. 0.99

01:56:10.000 It's a girl who comes from England, a porn producer who's like, you're a beautiful baby, you're going to just... 0.98

01:56:15.000 Basically, it starts out where you're just going to do pictures and lesbian porn, and then before you know it, they get to sets, and it's like, well, I thought you said we were just going to watch today. 0.78

01:56:22.000 It's like, no, baby, come on. 0.99

01:56:24.000 I told him you're doing this anal porn today. 1.00

01:56:26.000 She's like, well, I said no anal. 1.00

01:56:27.000 And he's like, well, it's more money if you do it. 0.99

01:56:30.000 And it's really watching him then break a girl down.

01:56:32.000 So at one point...

01:56:34.000 Max Hardcore, I believe it is, is getting ready to do something terrible to her.

01:56:37.000 After crying, she said she didn't want to do it.

01:56:42.000 The first thing he does is he walks into a room when she's going to meet Max Hardcore for the first time.

01:56:46.000 A bunch of people in this room and the documentary crew.

01:56:49.000 He walks in, he shakes everyone's hand and goes over to her.

01:56:52.000 It seems very real. 1.00

01:56:54.000 Pulls her panties down and stuffs his dick in her asshole. 1.00

01:56:57.000 She makes a face like it's pretty real. 1.00

01:57:00.000 And she gets weeded out, and then he goes, let's go upstairs, and he starts talking into a scene.

01:57:03.000 She says she doesn't want to do it.

01:57:05.000 He gets really... 0.77

01:57:06.000 First thing he tries to do is, like, hit her with the baby. 0.98

01:57:09.000 You're beautiful. 0.98

01:57:10.000 Like, you're going to make a lot of money.

01:57:11.000 This is a great thing.

01:57:12.000 People want to see your beautiful body.

01:57:13.000 He does that for about five minutes.

01:57:15.000 And then he kicks right into... 1.00

01:57:17.000 You stupid bitch. 1.00

01:57:18.000 Yeah, whatever. 1.00

01:57:18.000 Go back to England and tell your kid you can't take care of her and you fucking... 1.00

01:57:21.000 Okay. 1.00

01:57:22.000 You're gonna waste my fucking time. 0.99

01:57:23.000 And then she agrees to do it and the documentary guys step in and they turn the camera off and it just says, like, at this point, we thought she wasn't responsible for herself anymore and they pulled her out of it. 0.99

01:57:31.000 Okay, is this 100% confirmed?

01:57:35.000 Are you sure that this wasn't in any way set up?

01:57:37.000 That that's why, you know, like, there's a lot of these porn scenarios where they do, like, casting couches.

01:57:42.000 No, no, no, no.

01:57:43.000 They really are casting couches.

01:57:45.000 No, I know that.

01:57:45.000 But there's other ones that they do where it's totally rigged.

01:57:48.000 Yeah, I think most of them are always rigged.

01:57:49.000 This is a full-length, like, two-hour documentary.

01:57:52.000 It's about this girl.

01:57:53.000 That was just one scene. 1.00

01:57:55.000 Right, but they showed him fucking her in the ass? 1.00

01:57:58.000 She's not opposed to that. 1.00

01:58:00.000 Okay, but...

01:58:00.000 She goes...

01:58:01.000 Yes.

01:58:01.000 Yes, they say...

01:58:02.000 Well, they don't show his dick going in because it's just not the way... 0.99

01:58:04.000 It's a documentary guy, so it's like if it happened in the corner over there. 0.99

01:58:07.000 Uh-huh.

01:58:07.000 So they're not showing the actual sex.

01:58:10.000 Yes, they show.

01:58:10.000 They just don't show the penetration.

01:58:11.000 But you see him put his dick around and her make a face and get weird about it. 0.99

01:58:15.000 I don't know if that's... 0.99

01:58:16.000 I don't know if that's a setup.

01:58:18.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:58:18.000 Like, do you know that that's not a setup?

01:58:20.000 No.

01:58:20.000 Obviously, I can't confirm it to 100%, but she goes through a weird thing in this documentary.

01:58:25.000 This sounds like a real documentary.

01:58:27.000 I mean, if it was a porn documentary, they would show real porn. 0.87

01:58:30.000 Yeah, no, there's no penetration.

01:58:32.000 That doesn't necessarily mean it's true.

01:58:33.000 That's not necessarily true.

01:58:35.000 I mean, I don't know.

01:58:36.000 I see what you're saying.

01:58:37.000 Like, it sounds like it could be real, but it also could be something that they set up.

01:58:41.000 I don't know.

01:58:42.000 Of course.

01:58:42.000 Oh, well, anything could be, you know?

01:58:43.000 Yeah, I mean, it's that same world, you know what I'm saying?

01:58:47.000 That world of the fake auditions that turn into sex. 0.97

01:58:50.000 But this isn't a jerk-off-able thing. 0.95

01:58:52.000 In any way. 0.93

01:58:53.000 It's just gross. 1.00

01:58:54.000 This whole thing is terribly like, what the fuck is this guy doing to this girl? 1.00

01:58:57.000 I was like, is he really doing that? 0.99

01:58:58.000 It's not a...

01:58:59.000 Oh, okay.

01:58:59.000 It's not...

01:59:00.000 There's no fancy set around.

01:59:01.000 You see the documentary guys, even the guys talking to each other.

01:59:05.000 Is this like, should we do something? 1.00

01:59:08.000 So he's just an evil guy that's out of control, abusing the shit out of chicks and putting it on video. 1.00

01:59:13.000 I've heard him on Howard Stern, man. 1.00

01:59:14.000 He seems like a pretty horrible dude, but I'm speaking a little out of school.

01:59:17.000 What did you hear? 0.95

01:59:18.000 He seemed like a horrible dude.

01:59:19.000 Yeah, this is a real documentary.

01:59:20.000 Hold on a second.

01:59:21.000 Would you hear that he seemed like he was a horrible dude?

01:59:23.000 It was on Howard Stern, just the way he talked. 0.96

01:59:24.000 They had girls come in that want to be porn stars, and he's just like... 0.97

01:59:27.000 He's just a mean. 0.99

01:59:27.000 He's like, well, you're a little fat, but I can work with that. 0.99

01:59:30.000 You're the right pig on your face. 0.99

01:59:32.000 He's just kind of like a gruff... 1.00

01:59:35.000 Like shitty guys. 0.99

01:59:36.000 Maybe it's a character, for all I know. 0.99

01:59:38.000 Yeah, I know, but I heard...

01:59:40.000 But why be the villain?

01:59:41.000 I mean, the guy did go to jail, but again, I don't even know what that was for.

01:59:43.000 Well, I'll tell you exactly what it was for.

01:59:45.000 He went to jail for obscenity.

01:59:47.000 Oh, really?

01:59:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:59:48.000 Obscenity laws.

01:59:49.000 It's a very scary thing.

01:59:51.000 Look, I don't think that what he...

01:59:53.000 See, it's a tricky situation because I think anybody with any ethics or morals that looks at that guy and the kind of videos he did, you don't want to be attached to that.

02:00:02.000 It's disgusting.

02:00:03.000 I mean, even if it is fake, it's still like, man, why does this get you off? 1.00

02:00:09.000 You're being fucking horrible to these people. 0.99

02:00:12.000 If that's really what gets you off, what kind of a human being are you? 1.00

02:00:14.000 And what kind of a product are you selling?

02:00:17.000 But the way they got him is, there are certain places that have really strict obscenity laws.

02:00:23.000 And so they prosecuted him in Florida, in this one area that had these really brutally strict obscenity laws.

02:00:29.000 So they went after this guy.

02:00:30.000 They targeted him. 1.00

02:00:32.000 I think they saw the videos and they decided this is a piece of shit. 1.00

02:00:35.000 We need to put this guy in jail. 1.00

02:00:37.000 In their eyes, the prosecutor's eyes, I think, if I had a guess, that they found a guy who had made this sort of evil business off of a loophole.

02:00:48.000 And that loophole was the freedom of expression.

02:00:50.000 Sure.

02:00:51.000 That he's allowed to have his own artistic interpretation of what's porn and what's not porn. 1.00

02:00:55.000 But to anybody like you that's a normal guy who watches it, you're like, this guy's a piece of shit. 1.00

02:00:59.000 Like, he's making movies for fucking evil people. 1.00

02:01:02.000 Yeah, to want to get off to that is a very bizarre thing to me. 0.99

02:01:05.000 It is.

02:01:06.000 It's definitely very bizarre.

02:01:07.000 But it's also like, at what point in time is it censorship?

02:01:11.000 At what point in time is like, who's to say that you can't...

02:01:14.000 I mean, if you made a movie, okay?

02:01:16.000 This is a totally unrelated thing.

02:01:18.000 But if you made a movie about a guy who was a horrible serial killer, right?

02:01:23.000 Yeah.

02:01:23.000 And he's very sadistic and it's part of the entertainment.

02:01:26.000 This guy's very sadistic. 1.00

02:01:27.000 And then as long as someone catches that guy and kills him, most of us are like, wow, that was a fucked up movie. 0.99

02:01:33.000 But they got him in the end. 0.99

02:01:34.000 The problem with this is nobody gets it in the end.

02:01:37.000 Except the girl.

02:01:38.000 Girl gets it in the end. 1.00

02:01:39.000 You know what I mean?

02:01:40.000 Like the girl gets abused and it's about abuse and that's it. 0.78

02:01:42.000 There's no narrative. 0.97

02:01:44.000 There's no like story arc where someone comes along and they fucking find this guy and they lock him up in jail at the end and everybody feels safe. 0.98

02:01:53.000 No, it's just awful. 0.95

02:01:54.000 From the beginning to the end, it's awful, and then it ends.

02:01:56.000 There's no plot.

02:01:57.000 It's just him violating somebody.

02:02:00.000 Yeah.

02:02:01.000 But it rolls on without him, though.

02:02:03.000 I mean, there's like a thousand Max Hardcores.

02:02:05.000 I'm sure, right?

02:02:06.000 Those guys, they'll put on E-Fucked... 0.75

02:02:09.000 I've seen them do those... 0.99

02:02:11.000 the compilations of like just not even the sex part just the guys being mean to the chick it's like they bring in like awful like unattractive women and they shit on them and then fuck them it's very weird yeah they smack them there's a lot of physical abuse there's like physical abuse that would be illegal and you would actually go to jail for like you can't smack a chick in the face but like yeah you can't you can't really sign a waiver to say that's okay I guess like you sort of can I mean like wrestling right But isn't it different if it's a guy smacking a woman? 0.99

02:02:41.000 I mean, let's be honest.

02:02:43.000 Isn't it?

02:02:44.000 Morally?

02:02:44.000 If a guy smacking a guy in a wrestling...

02:02:46.000 If they're doing a pro wrestling match and a guy smacks a guy, these guys are agreeing to this.

02:02:52.000 They're both guys.

02:02:53.000 If two girls are doing it, they're both girls. 1.00

02:02:55.000 But if a guy does it to a girl... 1.00

02:02:57.000 But I mean, there has to have been pro wrestling storylines where the guy accidentally swings and smacks the girl.

02:03:04.000 That's part of the storyline.

02:03:05.000 Or movies.

02:03:06.000 I mean, I just watched a thing the other day.

02:03:08.000 Triple H puts Stephanie McMahon in the pedigree.

02:03:12.000 Well, in movies, for sure.

02:03:13.000 There's been domestic violence in movies, without a doubt. 0.99

02:03:16.000 But they're not really hitting.

02:03:18.000 That's the actual contact.

02:03:19.000 No, but in pro wrestling, there is contact.

02:03:21.000 Yes, that's the difference.

02:03:22.000 In pro wrestling, they're actually hitting.

02:03:24.000 There's absolutely TV shows and movies that they hit each other in.

02:03:28.000 No, you see a woman hit a man, you never see a man actually hit a woman in a movie, not a recent movie.

02:03:33.000 Well, I bet you there is, in the last year, some show that has a man hit a woman and it's a real hit.

02:03:40.000 No, they can make it.

02:03:41.000 No.

02:03:42.000 No.

02:03:42.000 Jersey Shore had that happen, but that wasn't set up.

02:03:44.000 You can make it look like it's a real hit.

02:03:47.000 Jersey Shore.

02:03:47.000 You can make it look like it, but I've never seen a woman cough a man, or a man cough a woman in the face where I thought it was real.

02:03:56.000 That Jersey Shore, Snooki got punched in the face by a dude.

02:03:59.000 Yeah, that was real.

02:04:00.000 100%.

02:04:00.000 That was 100%.

02:04:01.000 Yeah, I got jawed her. 1.00

02:04:02.000 She got blasted.

02:04:03.000 So that's the type of thing you can't fake.

02:04:05.000 I mean, she just got popped. 1.00

02:04:07.000 That guy was a fucking savage. 1.00

02:04:08.000 That guy was a school teacher. 1.00

02:04:10.000 I know.

02:04:10.000 And an MMA fighter.

02:04:11.000 Was he really?

02:04:12.000 Yeah.

02:04:13.000 I mean, he just uncorked on her face.

02:04:15.000 I guess MMA's been around long enough now.

02:04:17.000 Finally, there's some guys coming out and disgracing the sport a little bit.

02:04:20.000 There's always going to be crazy people in everything. 1.00

02:04:23.000 Soccer players, fucking whatever. 1.00

02:04:26.000 Competition. 1.00

02:04:26.000 Aggressive types. 1.00

02:04:27.000 Polo athletes.

02:04:28.000 Sure. 1.00

02:04:28.000 There's people that are nuts. 1.00

02:04:29.000 You're going to run into people. 0.85

02:04:31.000 I mean, the most unlikely scenario, if it's a competition, you know, you're going to run into...

02:04:36.000 Not even if it's not a competition. 0.99

02:04:37.000 There's probably asshole dentists that'll punch you in the face if they're doing shots. 1.00

02:04:41.000 And then sometimes it works out. 1.00

02:04:42.000 Those MMA guys, it works out great.

02:04:44.000 Remember that?

02:04:44.000 Was that a World Star Hip Hop video with the...

02:04:47.000 Was it down in D.C.? Kind of an unassuming white dude.

02:04:50.000 Oh, Ryan Hall. 0.64

02:04:52.000 Dropped a big black guy, right? 1.00

02:04:53.000 And the guy gave up eventually. 0.99

02:04:54.000 And then it shows like partying with the black dudes later. 0.97

02:04:57.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:04:58.000 Yeah, he mounted him. 1.00

02:04:59.000 He didn't even kick his ass. 1.00

02:05:00.000 Just held him down and just out-grappled him. 1.00

02:05:02.000 Just let him know.

02:05:02.000 Yeah, let him know that it's going to get worse.

02:05:05.000 That's so awesome.

02:05:06.000 Yeah, well, especially if you haven't grappled.

02:05:08.000 Before you get tired so quick, you're like, okay, okay, get off me.

02:05:11.000 Like, you don't have enough energy left to attack him.

02:05:13.000 Like, there's nothing left.

02:05:14.000 I love bullies getting knocked out video.

02:05:17.000 I do love those.

02:05:18.000 Those make me happy.

02:05:19.000 It's nice when you see that.

02:05:20.000 As comics, I think where you said the thing about punching up earlier, it really is like we do seek justice to some degree.

02:05:26.000 For sure.

02:05:26.000 I just have a problem with the statement that all good comedy is punching up.

02:05:31.000 That's just not true.

02:05:32.000 There's a lot of good comedy that's punching sideways.

02:05:35.000 There's a lot of good comedy that's punching down.

02:05:37.000 But there's no...

02:05:38.000 But Louis C.K. shitting on his daughter. 1.00

02:05:40.000 There's no, like, lack of justice there. 1.00

02:05:43.000 Do you know what I mean?

02:05:43.000 In that regard?

02:05:44.000 Because you said you kind of know.

02:05:45.000 Not only is it implied, it's very obvious he's kidding.

02:05:49.000 He loves his kid.

02:05:49.000 Nobody makes an outward...

02:05:51.000 And it's funny.

02:05:52.000 No one does make an outward thing about that.

02:05:53.000 The fights people choose to pick...

02:05:55.000 When I did a...

02:05:56.000 Interestingly enough, with the daughter thing...

02:05:58.000 When I did Fallon... 0.99

02:05:59.000 I talked shit about my daughter for the first two minutes of it. 0.99

02:06:04.000 And then I did Michael Vick jokes... 0.99

02:06:08.000 And thousands of hate mails the next day poured in over these Michael Vick jokes.

02:06:12.000 I say that he was on my team, so I have to love him because he was on my team at the time.

02:06:17.000 He was on the Eagles still.

02:06:20.000 I know he's a terrible dude and did some terrible things, but while he's on my team, just win. 0.78

02:06:24.000 I'll throw him a dog, let him tear it apart like a werewolf in the end zone if he scores.

02:06:28.000 And I said I'd mail him a box of puppies with a photograph of me shushing if he wins the Super Bowl. 0.98

02:06:33.000 And it killed in the room.

02:06:36.000 But then all the hate mail came in for that.

02:06:38.000 And it was such a weird thing. 1.00

02:06:39.000 Not one person was like, how do you shit talk your daughter like that? 1.00

02:06:43.000 You're telling a joke about shitting on her Father's Day present or something she got for you. 1.00

02:06:46.000 It's like, no one cares. 0.95

02:06:48.000 But there was petitions online for a public apology from me.

02:06:52.000 For imaginary dogs.

02:06:53.000 Dogs that don't exist.

02:06:55.000 Well, once things happen, people get excited and they want action.

02:06:59.000 They want you to apologize.

02:07:01.000 And if they can force you into action, they've won some sort of an online contest.

02:07:05.000 You know, they've decided, they've written a blog about it, they've started a hashtag, make Jay Oakerson, hashtag make Jay apologize.

02:07:13.000 Yeah, it's so bizarre to get that wound up about.

02:07:16.000 Comedy ever.

02:07:17.000 I don't get it.

02:07:18.000 How about everything, man? 0.98

02:07:19.000 I mean, every fucking YouTube video that comes out has a thousand comments. 0.97

02:07:22.000 People are duking it out in the comment section, and people get fired up about almost everything and anything. 0.98

02:07:27.000 And if they have the license to be offended, if people have the license to be offended, like, they can think that what you said is not funny, you know, they can think that what you said is cruel, but this license to be offended.

02:07:38.000 Aren't you blown away?

02:07:39.000 I don't want him ever on my show again.

02:07:40.000 This is my show.

02:07:41.000 I like this show.

02:07:42.000 Aren't you blown away, though, how offended people get?

02:07:44.000 I feel like comedy should be void of that.

02:07:47.000 Of course. 0.99

02:07:48.000 Sometimes I feel like we're treated like we're speaking to fucking Congress. 0.98

02:07:53.000 Yeah, we're giving affidavits in court. 0.99

02:07:54.000 There's a laughing microphone behind me on a sign.

02:07:58.000 You see what's going on.

02:08:00.000 People are just getting attention.

02:08:01.000 I mean, if you talk about it and you engage them and they get to be upset about you and find other folks that are upset about it as well, everybody gets to have a little bit of attention about it.

02:08:10.000 That's why, you know, it's obviously one of the most famous moments on the show, but that's why I was always, I was, I was very tight with Kilstein, like Jamie Kilstein at one point, and like as a comic coming out against comedy, that blew my mind so much when that happened.

02:08:24.000 Yeah, the thing about Tosh.

02:08:26.000 I still once in a while go back and watch that whole thing because I'm trying to get where he was coming from with that.

02:08:32.000 Where he's coming from is a very rigid ideology.

02:08:35.000 There's a very rigid ideology of what the people that are talking down on it would call the social justice warriors.

02:08:44.000 They talk about it in a mocking sense, social justice warriors.

02:08:47.000 But social justice warriors, the idea behind the super male feminists, very liberal, a lot of them vegan, this whole idea of do the least amount of harm possible. 1.00

02:08:59.000 They have a very rigid ideology when it comes to certain things.

02:09:02.000 They don't leave any room for certain things to be discussed in a mocking manner.

02:09:07.000 And I think that you get stuck in that world, if you're in that world, they have very rigid rules.

02:09:14.000 They don't think you should ever say a joke about rape. 0.99

02:09:17.000 What was really fucked up is Jamie had one about rape. 0.99

02:09:19.000 It was about men getting raped, and it was okay. 1.00

02:09:22.000 It's like, you just can't have any mocking jokes about any woman getting raped. 0.97

02:09:28.000 Even if the Daniel Tosh situation was such an obvious line.

02:09:32.000 She yells out during his... 1.00

02:09:34.000 No one knows the scenario.

02:09:36.000 Tosh was on stage, and he was asking the audience what they wanted to talk about.

02:09:40.000 Because occasionally, someone will yell out a subject, and it'll be pretty funny.

02:09:44.000 And then you may be able to come up with a bit from it.

02:09:46.000 Who knows?

02:09:47.000 He's just having a good time with the crowd, being loose, ad-libbing. 0.95

02:09:49.000 Some guy yells, talk about rape! 1.00

02:09:51.000 And he starts listing off all the things that's not funny about rape.

02:09:55.000 Like, what are you talking about?

02:09:56.000 What is it?

02:09:58.000 The humiliation?

02:09:59.000 The physical violence?

02:10:01.000 What part do you think is funny?

02:10:02.000 And this woman self-righteously yells out, actually, there's nothing funny about rape. 1.00

02:10:07.000 As if he didn't know that.

02:10:09.000 As if he wasn't saying that exact same thing. 0.99

02:10:10.000 And he goes, wouldn't it be funny if five guys raped her right now? 0.98

02:10:14.000 And then everybody starts howling, laughing. 0.99

02:10:16.000 Why?

02:10:16.000 Because it's a funny thing to say in that moment.

02:10:17.000 Sure. 0.99

02:10:18.000 And to argue against that, saying that promotes a culture that accepts rape, is completely ridiculous. 0.98

02:10:26.000 What it promotes is... 0.99

02:10:28.000 We're good to go.

02:10:56.000 Did you see what Law& Order SVU did with that story?

02:11:02.000 What they made that into?

02:11:03.000 They did?

02:11:04.000 Really?

02:11:04.000 Oh, yeah.

02:11:05.000 You know, they do the pull from the headlines.

02:11:06.000 So they had the guy...

02:11:07.000 First of all, they referred to him as like...

02:11:09.000 They're like, where are you going?

02:11:10.000 We're going up to the college campus to watch that new rape comic is in town.

02:11:14.000 They call him a rape comic.

02:11:16.000 No!

02:11:16.000 It's Jonathan Silverman.

02:11:17.000 Plays him.

02:11:18.000 That's hilarious.

02:11:18.000 He goes, the new rape comic in town.

02:11:20.000 So he goes up there and his jokes are all about fucking chicks against their wills to some degree. 1.00

02:11:25.000 But everyone loves him. 0.99

02:11:26.000 He's getting huge applause and cheers. 0.99

02:11:29.000 Oh my god, that's so ridiculous. 0.91

02:11:32.000 What's funny about that is that one scene, after they suspect... 0.99

02:11:45.000 Wow.

02:11:49.000 Wow.

02:11:50.000 Wow. 0.95

02:11:53.000 First thing they do that made me laugh was the whole SVU team goes and sits front row at his comedy show, is what they do first, and they're just sitting there staring and shaking their heads, and you almost want to go, you guys are actually being a pretty shitty audience.

02:12:06.000 At the end of the day, it's like, if you're going to sit there and stare, at least sit in the back. 0.77

02:12:10.000 That seems like kind of a weird, like, you're making the show get weird and rapey by staring, staring at him, but then what they do, the big payoff, is at the end of the whole episode, they make that he was also a rapist. 0.98

02:12:22.000 I actually tweeted out, I was like, pretty fucking irresponsible. 0.73

02:12:25.000 Like, that's a really irresponsible thing for a show like that to do. 0.99

02:12:29.000 You would think that it, by the way, the kind of people that actually would be rapists, they would be talking about how rape is awful.

02:12:35.000 Because they would probably be trying to throw people off the face. 0.91

02:12:39.000 They wouldn't be like raping all the time and then joking about raping all the time. 1.00

02:12:43.000 Like that sounds like the exact opposite of what you would do if you were trying not to get busted being a fucking rapist. 1.00

02:12:49.000 Crack joke? 0.99

02:12:50.000 What are you trying to loosen people's expectations? 0.98

02:12:52.000 Remember there was a comedian rapist? 0.91

02:12:54.000 Remember that? 0.98

02:12:55.000 Oh yeah.

02:12:56.000 The guy would backtrack his schools? 0.99

02:12:57.000 He would go to colleges and he would rape girls at colleges and he would ask them to pray for him. 0.98

02:13:02.000 Really? 0.99

02:13:03.000 Vince Champ.

02:13:05.000 Yeah, but then he would go like those block bookings, like he would go do one school, pick out the chick, go to the next school, and then double back.

02:13:14.000 So I think he pulled it off for a while.

02:13:16.000 I didn't know he had a strategy.

02:13:17.000 Did he have a strategy?

02:13:18.000 From what I understand, I could be wrong about that, obviously, but I've heard that from several sources.

02:13:23.000 It was like a doubling back thing.

02:13:25.000 He won Star Search in 1992, and he's serving a 55- to 70-year sentence for rapes he committed at college campuses on his stand-up circuit.

02:13:34.000 How many did they say?

02:13:35.000 How many rapes? 0.99

02:13:35.000 There's a bunch. 0.99

02:13:36.000 I don't know, man.

02:13:37.000 The story I'm looking for has been removed from the internet.

02:13:40.000 How many rapes were there? 1.00

02:13:41.000 Well, there were so many rapes. 0.95

02:13:43.000 It was in the late 90s. 1.00

02:13:44.000 Fucking rapes. 1.00

02:13:45.000 It was in the late 90s. 1.00

02:13:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:13:48.000 I don't know how many girls he raped, but he would have asked them to pray for him, which is really fucked. 1.00

02:13:55.000 Rape's the last thing a chick wants to hear while you're raping them. 1.00

02:13:58.000 Even you feel bad about the rape. 0.99

02:13:59.000 I think rape, there always has to be, like, it seems to me like there's got to be a shut up or I'll do this element to it because I feel like you just couldn't.

02:14:09.000 It's like professional wrestling, like how you couldn't suplex somebody, like a vertical suplex that doesn't want to be suplexed.

02:14:14.000 You couldn't possibly do it to someone. 0.99

02:14:16.000 I feel like How could you fuck someone who's really snapping their legs shut and fighting? 1.00

02:14:20.000 That almost seems like it's an impossible task. 1.00

02:14:22.000 Are you serious?

02:14:24.000 Physically?

02:14:25.000 For real?

02:14:26.000 Yeah, I mean, to some degree...

02:14:28.000 It happens all the time.

02:14:29.000 Obviously, it can happen.

02:14:30.000 No, but I think there's always an element. 0.99

02:14:31.000 I think eventually the girl kind of has to do some kind of like, just get this fucking over. 1.00

02:14:35.000 If you physically fight the entire time, I feel like you almost couldn't pull it off. 0.97

02:14:39.000 Um, I don't know, man.

02:14:41.000 I think a guy could probably pull it off.

02:14:43.000 I think they do.

02:14:44.000 I don't even know what you're saying. 0.99

02:14:46.000 Like, guys definitely rape. 0.88

02:14:48.000 No, no. 0.84

02:14:48.000 And girls fight to the jack. 0.84

02:14:50.000 Jesus Christ, does it make it sound like I say guys don't rape, guys rape? 0.61

02:14:53.000 No, no, no. 0.99

02:14:53.000 But girls fight them off, and they still rape them. 0.99

02:14:55.000 That shit happens all the time. 1.00

02:14:57.000 I think men are just bigger. 1.00

02:14:59.000 You know, big, strong men and small women, it's probably, they hold you down. 1.00

02:15:04.000 It seems pretty obvious.

02:15:05.000 You mean booze?

02:15:07.000 Is that what you're saying?

02:15:08.000 She's not going to be wet.

02:15:09.000 I'm not even talking about that.

02:15:10.000 I'm talking about the evidence of someone non-stop physically flailing around to completely subdue someone's...

02:15:17.000 Have you ever just playfully wrestled with a girl? 0.98

02:15:20.000 With your girlfriend or something?

02:15:22.000 My chick, if I try to hold her arms and I tickle her and she's flailing, I don't think I can control her. 1.00

02:15:27.000 She's not a big girl at all.

02:15:29.000 I control my girlfriend.

02:15:30.000 She can't move. 1.00

02:15:31.000 Brian kicks ass on bullies, controls his girl. 1.00

02:15:34.000 He's a fucking savage. 1.00

02:15:35.000 Dude, you can stop a rape and rape. 1.00

02:15:37.000 Don't even, you know, forget all personal appearances.

02:15:40.000 Put that aside. 0.99

02:15:41.000 He's a savage. 0.98

02:15:43.000 Jesus Christ. 0.92

02:15:44.000 I can control my girl. 0.94

02:15:47.000 Yeah, you could, look, man, if you know how to wrestle, you could hold a chick down pretty goddamn easy. 1.00

02:15:51.000 It's not hard.

02:15:52.000 You could hold a dude down.

02:15:54.000 But you have to hold her down and accomplish something that's, like, sort of intricate to some degree.

02:16:02.000 I don't know.

02:16:02.000 This is a weird thing to speculate.

02:16:05.000 Let's break it down.

02:16:06.000 How would you do, Brian?

02:16:07.000 Let's take it around the horn.

02:16:08.000 It'd be jiu-jitsu-y.

02:16:10.000 First of all, I'd do a classroom judo throw.

02:16:13.000 Jiu-jitsu and spit.

02:16:14.000 I think that it'd probably be...

02:16:17.000 Especially if there's a lot of violence involved, right?

02:16:21.000 Like hitting, choking.

02:16:23.000 I don't think it would be hard.

02:16:25.000 I mean, it would obviously...

02:16:27.000 It wouldn't be as easy as...

02:16:29.000 Normal sex. 0.81

02:16:30.000 No, I'm almost making the point.

02:16:32.000 I'm saying by the time actually the sex part happens, I feel like there's just a give up to some degree.

02:16:38.000 Man.

02:16:39.000 Yeah, I guess.

02:16:41.000 You can see me appearing at the Tomahawk University, announcing my college tour.

02:16:49.000 It's called the Don't Worry, I Don't Believe I Could Possibly Rape You Tour.

02:16:54.000 Hey, everybody has their own confidence level.

02:16:58.000 What they can pull off and can't pull off in this life.

02:17:00.000 If you feel like you're limited in that regard.

02:17:03.000 I can never dunk a basketball and I can never rape.

02:17:05.000 Those are the two things I physically can't pull off. 1.00

02:17:07.000 It is a fucked up thing, man, that's so common in the animal community, like violence and sex. 0.98

02:17:14.000 I was watching this documentary, or was listening to this podcast, rather, about Tasmanian devils and how vicious Tasmanian devils are with each other, and that while they're having sex, they always bite each other. 0.99

02:17:28.000 We're good to go.

02:17:45.000 Something that's contagious.

02:17:47.000 By some strange manner of evolution, these cancerous cells would burst and infect the cells around them.

02:17:54.000 And so all these Tasmanian devils started dying off because they started developing these cancerous, contagious tumors.

02:18:02.000 And they were constantly biting each other in the face.

02:18:04.000 So they would be biting into these tumors, and the tumors would literally make tumors on the other animals.

02:18:12.000 Jesus.

02:18:13.000 Yeah, but... 1.00

02:18:13.000 Just constantly attacking and fucking mangling each other. 1.00

02:18:17.000 Like, that's what they did. 1.00

02:18:19.000 They were just constantly, like, biting when they fucked. 1.00

02:18:22.000 And they make these crazy noises, man. 0.99

02:18:24.000 This guy who is a... 0.99

02:18:26.000 Have you ever listened to Radiolab?

02:18:27.000 You know what I'm talking about?

02:18:28.000 Yeah.

02:18:28.000 Amazing podcast.

02:18:30.000 It's an amazing podcast.

02:18:31.000 And the podcast is all, you know, it's all, like, really interesting things that are, like...

02:18:38.000 One of them they had about the problems with trying to communicate with dolphins and...

02:18:43.000 Just really fascinating, fascinating stuff.

02:18:45.000 One of them was on the apocalypse, like what the asteroid impact did and how many animals were killed off and what the original humans probably looked like.

02:18:54.000 The thing that became a human that was alive back then, this fucking burrowing underground mammal-rodent type thing. 0.64

02:19:01.000 But they were doing this radio lab one on these Tasmanian devils and this cancer that was spreading. 1.00

02:19:06.000 It was fucking madness, man. 0.98

02:19:08.000 I don't like to dig into stuff like that too much. 0.99

02:19:10.000 It gives me genuine anxiety, especially apocalypse stuff.

02:19:13.000 Yeah.

02:19:14.000 Like, you know, it's like, oh, there's always just a chance a meteor the size of Texas could destroy the Earth. 0.99

02:19:19.000 Which is weird that that became like a thing with these animals, that they would bite and fuck while they're biting. 0.99

02:19:24.000 They're biting each other in the face and... 0.99

02:19:26.000 And that's not a discussion.

02:19:27.000 That's just nature.

02:19:28.000 It's just the nature of it.

02:19:29.000 They constantly do it.

02:19:32.000 Apparently they just bite. 1.00

02:19:33.000 They're just always fighting over meat and fucking biting each other in the face. 1.00

02:19:37.000 The praying mantis fucks and kills immediately. 1.00

02:19:39.000 So does Black Widow, right? 1.00

02:19:42.000 Yep.

02:19:42.000 That's real common in the insect community.

02:19:45.000 I saw an ant once. 0.99

02:19:46.000 This weird fucking ant that takes... 0.99

02:19:50.000 They're almost all females and there's occasionally males. 1.00

02:19:52.000 And when they find a male, they bite his legs off. 0.94

02:19:56.000 They bite his legs off and the male's like slightly larger. 0.90

02:20:00.000 They bite his legs off and they carry him into the hive to breed.

02:20:04.000 And then they wind up killing him.

02:20:05.000 They make him write a book. 0.97

02:20:06.000 They just cripple him.

02:20:08.000 He has, like, wings, I think, too.

02:20:09.000 Is that the story of misery?

02:20:12.000 You make him write a book with your favorite character?

02:20:14.000 Yeah, we got it so weak. 1.00

02:20:16.000 We're such pussies. 0.99

02:20:17.000 You know, we have a conversation about how difficult it would be to rape somebody, and it's, like, dangerous, subject to tread. 1.00

02:20:22.000 You look into the nature world, it's like, sex without rape, they're like, what are you talking about?

02:20:26.000 It doesn't even happen.

02:20:27.000 I want it, I take it.

02:20:28.000 Yeah, that's how you make sure that the genes survive.

02:20:32.000 Well, yeah, and the lion has to get through all the male lions.

02:20:36.000 He has to prove his worth.

02:20:37.000 And then eventually, he's going to get pushed out by some new young lions.

02:20:41.000 You know, because he wants to keep like a few chicks around. 1.00

02:20:43.000 And some new young lions are going to, and then he's going to be out there on his own.

02:20:46.000 They say that's like the biggest problem in Africa.

02:20:49.000 It's like a metaphor for SNL. The new lion comes in.

02:20:52.000 The old one gets sent out to pasture.

02:20:54.000 Tim Meadows.

02:20:54.000 I never watched that show.

02:20:56.000 But like with African villages, the real problem that they have is when a lion gets cast out and the females don't get their food anymore.

02:21:06.000 Then the lions have to go get their own food. 0.98

02:21:08.000 And a lot of those old males, they start to get crippled and slow and they chip teeth off and shit. 1.00

02:21:13.000 Then they become super dangerous because they can't get the normal game animals they're used to getting. 0.99

02:21:18.000 So then they start snatching people.

02:21:20.000 Just, oh yeah, they still keep proving themselves?

02:21:22.000 Well, there was a leopard, there was a story about a leopard, it was in the news yesterday, about a leopard in India that they think is responsible, one individual leopard, responsible for 15 deaths, 15 different people, that it targets drunk people, and that it waits, yeah, 0.99

02:21:38.000 how fucked is that? 0.98

02:21:39.000 Well, yes. 1.00

02:21:41.000 Leopard waits.

02:21:42.000 Picks a spot.

02:21:42.000 Yeah, well, people, you know, they go out and they start partying, and this leopard has apparently developed this taste for drunk people.

02:21:48.000 Like, he knows that when people come out of these bars, they're slow, and they don't know what the fuck's going on, they're not on the ball, and they get jacked. 0.69

02:21:58.000 It's almost weird to walk out of anywhere in the world of a bar and there's a leopard waiting for you. 0.98

02:22:03.000 Even in India.

02:22:04.000 India is scary with leopards.

02:22:05.000 In fact, in India, I find it more weird that there's a bar than a leopard waiting to kill you.

02:22:09.000 I feel like there's bars in India.

02:22:11.000 Well, you know what's interesting?

02:22:12.000 India, everybody always thinks of as being this place of peaceful meditation and yoga, right?

02:22:17.000 Right.

02:22:19.000 Desert, camel. 1.00

02:22:20.000 But you hear about all these goddamn gang rapes. 1.00

02:22:23.000 India has these horrible stories of people getting gang raped on buses and women dying. 1.00

02:22:28.000 Don't you hear about those quite a bit?

02:22:30.000 Sure, yeah.

02:22:31.000 I wouldn't have normally associated that with India.

02:22:34.000 We don't think of that. 0.99

02:22:36.000 But it's like when you have a billion people, you've got a lot of crazy shit going on. 0.98

02:22:40.000 You've got a billion people stuffed onto a continent. 0.99

02:22:43.000 Can you imagine?

02:22:43.000 I mean, the young people anywhere are picking up on, especially with internet and everything, picking up on the culture of all that stuff.

02:22:49.000 So if you go to South Africa, there's street gangs.

02:22:52.000 And they think they're Bloods and Crips because that's what they see.

02:22:55.000 Really?

02:22:55.000 Sure, yeah.

02:22:56.000 I mean, it's not...

02:22:56.000 I don't think they're directly affiliated, but there's street gangs, that kind of thing, in South Africa.

02:23:02.000 It's a weird place like that.

02:23:03.000 Do you remember when there was an Ice Cube song about moving the Crips and the Bloods to the Midwest?

02:23:09.000 Yeah.

02:23:10.000 No.

02:23:11.000 What was the song?

02:23:12.000 Yeah.

02:23:13.000 Steady Mobbin, I think it was.

02:23:15.000 Road Trip?

02:23:16.000 Yeah.

02:23:17.000 It was something like that, where these gangbangers got too hot in LA, so they set up gang affiliates in the middle of the country.

02:23:26.000 Oh, those are.

02:23:26.000 Those, like, southern ones, like, those documentaries HBO would do about the white boy gangs.

02:23:31.000 Like, just a bunch of dudes wearing, like, bandanas over their face and carrying haycickles.

02:23:36.000 Like, what a terrifying thing coming your way.

02:23:38.000 It's, like, the children of the corn with do-rags on.

02:23:41.000 What was that show?

02:23:42.000 It was, like, Banging in the Suburbs?

02:23:43.000 Banging in Little Rock.

02:23:44.000 Banging in Little Rock, that's right.

02:23:45.000 That's what it was, yeah.

02:23:47.000 Wow, that's right. 1.00

02:23:48.000 And, like, really, it's, like, white trash guys. 1.00

02:23:49.000 Like, get him, Gary. 0.99

02:23:50.000 That scared a lot of people.

02:24:05.000 Yeah, and it's terrifying.

02:24:07.000 Especially when you see it in the South, it's weird because it's already kind of a scary area of swampy, overgrown hedges and stuff.

02:24:13.000 And then there's a dude with an Uzi wearing a red flannel in swampy Louisiana weather. 1.00

02:24:21.000 Yeah, fuck. 1.00

02:24:23.000 And if you're scared of it, you're racist. 1.00

02:24:27.000 Just don't hit back. 0.98

02:24:28.000 You know, I tell you what, I've talked about some shit on this podcast and gotten, you know, a lot of people's reactions about it, but one of the biggest reactions I ever got about anything I said was that I was talking about Jon Jones, and I said, I wonder how much of, like, why he's not popular is racism. 0.96

02:24:41.000 I wonder if people are racist. 0.61

02:24:43.000 Even if you even say you wonder that someone might be racist, like, if someone's reaction to something, it's probably, like, flipping of me to say, like, that's, like, especially when you're not considering it before you're saying it, you're just discussing a subject because you think it's interesting.

02:24:57.000 It's such a charged subject, you gotta have like a fully formed idea before you say it.

02:25:02.000 But just the mere possibility that some people could be racist.

02:25:07.000 People are so angry.

02:25:08.000 Not even saying you're racist.

02:25:09.000 Not saying the only way that you couldn't like the guy was because of racism.

02:25:13.000 I said, I wonder how much of it is racism.

02:25:14.000 I wonder if it's a factor.

02:25:16.000 Because I always wonder about racism.

02:25:17.000 I think he gives reasons beyond that.

02:25:19.000 I think it's a fair question.

02:25:20.000 I mean, he gives reasons to dislike him beyond race.

02:25:23.000 But, you know, at the same time, why?

02:25:25.000 Yeah, some people will just...

02:25:26.000 Is it ridiculous the notion that people will just blindly...

02:25:31.000 You know what I mean?

02:25:32.000 I don't know.

02:25:34.000 We're leaving a world of apologies.

02:25:35.000 Don't apologize for asking.

02:25:36.000 Well, it's just such a highly charged subject.

02:25:39.000 It's a fascinating thing that it's so highly charged.

02:25:42.000 That, you know, even a mere suggestion. 0.94

02:25:44.000 And if people thought in some way that I meant, if you don't like them, it's because you're racist, then that's my shitty job of communicating an idea. 0.78

02:25:53.000 Because that's certainly...

02:25:54.000 Was never what I was thinking.

02:25:55.000 But what I was thinking was, I think, I know for a fact, when I was a kid, I used to root for white guys. 0.95

02:26:01.000 I just did.

02:26:03.000 Like when Jerry Cooney fought Larry Holmes, I remember very clearly being embarrassed that I rooted for Jerry Cooney because he was a white guy. 0.98

02:26:11.000 Because I remember Larry Holmes boxed the shit out of him. 0.95

02:26:15.000 And he just picked him apart.

02:26:17.000 And before that, I mean, Jerry Cooney was a really good fighter.

02:26:21.000 He beat Ken Norton.

02:26:22.000 He knocked him out.

02:26:23.000 Devastating knockout.

02:26:24.000 He was a good fighter.

02:26:26.000 But Larry Holmes was a master at the time.

02:26:30.000 I should have been appreciating what Larry Holmes was able to do to this guy who had been able to knock out some really good fighters.

02:26:36.000 That Larry Holmes was just using his skill.

02:26:39.000 But I had been rooting for Jerry Cooney. 0.99

02:26:41.000 So when he lost, I was like, damn! 0.98

02:26:43.000 But it might have been because he was the underdog, too. 0.99

02:26:46.000 No, I was a kid. 0.99

02:26:47.000 I was dumb. 0.99

02:26:47.000 I know I was rooting for him because he was white. 0.99

02:26:49.000 I know I was.

02:26:50.000 I was probably, like, I was a senior or a junior, maybe a junior in high school.

02:26:55.000 So I guess I was, like, 16. And, yeah, I was just dumb. 0.97

02:26:58.000 I mean, it wasn't that I was racist. 0.99

02:27:00.000 But how dumb? 0.98

02:27:02.000 You could have just been going what you attached to the most, like what you related to the most. 1.00

02:27:06.000 Most certainly.

02:27:06.000 I could be that guy.

02:27:08.000 Yeah, most certainly, most certainly.

02:27:11.000 Yeah.

02:27:11.000 But I did it a little bit when I was 20, but not nearly as enthusiastically with Tommy Morrison.

02:27:18.000 Screaming?

02:27:18.000 I love you, white boxer!

02:27:20.000 No, with Tommy Morrison, I was keeping an eye on him.

02:27:25.000 How'd you feel after Ray Mercer?

02:27:27.000 How'd you feel after that?

02:27:28.000 That was the worst knockout I've ever seen in my life.

02:27:30.000 That knockout was so good that my friend Kevin, who was a huge fan of Tommy Morrison, wasn't even bummed out. 0.97

02:27:36.000 He was like, damn, that dude's awesome. 0.96

02:27:38.000 Just saying that Ray Mercer was so awesome. 0.98

02:27:41.000 Even though he was rooting for Tommy Morrison, it was such a brutal knockout that he just wanted to see Ray Mercer fight again.

02:27:46.000 It was so good.

02:27:46.000 Cut to Ray Mercer whispering in a guy's ear a few years later, like, please take a dive.

02:27:50.000 I'll give you half the money.

02:27:52.000 Who did he say that to?

02:27:53.000 I forget, but it was like a court TV case.

02:27:55.000 Oh, that's right.

02:27:56.000 Oh, my God.

02:27:57.000 When they were in the clinch, he goes, take a dive.

02:27:59.000 I'll give you half the money.

02:28:00.000 Who was that?

02:28:01.000 Was it Bobby Chez?

02:28:02.000 No.

02:28:03.000 Who was it that he had a fight with?

02:28:04.000 He had a fight with someone, and it was important.

02:28:07.000 If he lost the fight, he was not going to get a title shot.

02:28:11.000 That's right, or allegedly.

02:28:13.000 He asked someone to take a dive.

02:28:14.000 I don't know if that's true.

02:28:14.000 Have they ever been proven?

02:28:15.000 Was it ever proven?

02:28:16.000 You can look it up.

02:28:17.000 I think he may have been found guilty of that.

02:28:20.000 Maybe.

02:28:20.000 I don't know.

02:28:21.000 Did you ever watch that documentary, speaking of boxing, about the guy, what was his name, where they made his, like, inside of his gloves...

02:28:28.000 Billy Resto.

02:28:29.000 Yeah.

02:28:30.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

02:28:30.000 They fucked who he fought. 1.00

02:28:31.000 Billy Collins Jr., I think. 0.99

02:28:33.000 He claims he didn't know.

02:28:35.000 Yeah, that was Panama Lewis.

02:28:37.000 That was the same guy who doctored up Aaron Pryor's drink.

02:28:41.000 He said, don't give me that water.

02:28:43.000 Give me the other one, the one that I fixed. 0.97

02:28:45.000 And then he gives it to Aaron Pryor, and Aaron Pryor goes out there like a fucking bat out of hell and knocks out Alexis Arguello in the next round. 0.97

02:28:50.000 And they said it was some sort of a stimulant. 0.98

02:28:52.000 Aaron Pryor wind up having a bit of a drug problem.

02:28:56.000 So it could have been related in that way. 0.98

02:28:58.000 But it's just weird how the fucking ferocity of the reactions when I brought up this racism thing. 0.77

02:29:06.000 Maybe it was like irresponsible on my part, but I'm sort of happy that I brought it up anyway just because I'm fascinated by the response. 0.97

02:29:14.000 And I'm fascinated by no black people disagreed with me.

02:29:17.000 That's the weird thing.

02:29:19.000 The weird thing is the guys who disagree... 0.99

02:29:20.000 I mean, I don't know everybody who disagreed with me on Twitter, so I'm kind of talking out of my ass here.

02:29:24.000 But the people that I interact with on a regular basis, whether they're comics or whatever, they all thought it was... 0.97

02:29:30.000 The black guys all thought it was very valid. 1.00

02:29:33.000 That there's a certain amount of... 0.98

02:29:36.000 Extra judgment that you give a cocky young black athlete. 1.00

02:29:40.000 I was like, that's fascinating. 0.51

02:29:41.000 I wonder if that's true.

02:29:43.000 Even just paying attention to that, that's something I wonder.

02:29:46.000 I wonder what of a factor it is.

02:29:48.000 And it's not the only factor.

02:29:51.000 Look, there's 350 million people in this country. 0.99

02:29:55.000 And if a million people like you and a million people hate you, this is a fucking wide variety of reasons. 0.93

02:30:01.000 But to say that out of all the millions of people who know who you are, That there aren't a certain percentage of them that are racist seems disingenuous. 0.98

02:30:09.000 I mean, it seems like there's a certain amount of people across the board that are going to be racist.

02:30:13.000 If you have 350 million people, I don't know how many people you're going to get that are racist, but there's got to be a certain percentage that has to be factored in there.

02:30:21.000 So, you know, saying you wonder how much of it is...

02:30:24.000 Yeah.

02:30:24.000 I think the interesting thing is that I think Floyd Mayweather...

02:30:28.000 People that hate him, I bet there's a lot more racism involved in that than Jon Jones. 0.98

02:30:32.000 Jon Jones gives you pretty valid reasons to be like, this guy's sort of a dick. 0.83

02:30:35.000 Just publicly, from what you see, you know, I don't know anything of him other than what I see in the press and on the shows. 0.94

02:30:41.000 But I mean, like, Mayweather's a guy, you know, you see, he's like, you know, the press is talking to him, he's like throwing $100 bills on the ground, you know, he's just like...

02:30:49.000 He's a master showman in that regard, too, though.

02:30:51.000 But that...

02:30:53.000 Personality feeds into someone who's got racism in their heart.

02:30:56.000 That's really...

02:30:57.000 That fires them up. 0.99

02:30:58.000 Well, I've read some horrific shit about... 0.99

02:31:00.000 Well, I've read some racist shit about both guys, about Jon Jones and about Floyd Mayweather. 1.00

02:31:05.000 But this recent barrage of shit about people, like how much hate they have for him after he fought Maidan and lost. 0.99

02:31:12.000 You know, I don't know if they were betting on Maidan. 0.99

02:31:14.000 I don't know what it is, but that's also how he sells tickets.

02:31:17.000 I mean, he sells tickets by people wanting him to lose.

02:31:21.000 Sure. 0.99

02:31:21.000 But he's so fucking... 0.99

02:31:22.000 Good. 0.99

02:31:23.000 You can barely hit him.

02:31:24.000 If he gets tagged once or twice hard in a fight, it's shocking and rare.

02:31:28.000 But there's a lot of fights where he'll go the entire fight just boxing someone's face off and not get hit at all.

02:31:34.000 So for every Sugar Shea Mosley who connects or every Maidana right hand that lands, there's a lot of rounds where he's not even getting hit.

02:31:41.000 He's just slipping out of things and moving and doing things to you that you didn't expect and moving in a way that you didn't anticipate and Being nowhere near you when you're looking to hit him.

02:31:51.000 You know, he's a master, but he's also a master of manipulation.

02:31:54.000 I mean, he's playing the heel, where I think John is just a young guy figuring it out on his own while he's one of the baddest men on the planet at 25 years of age.

02:32:05.000 And he's had this ridiculous rise to success that happened in a really short period of time.

02:32:11.000 Like, From the time he was like 21 years old to the time that he's 25, starts martial arts and becomes the light heavyweight champion. 0.98

02:32:18.000 I mean, that's fucking crazy.

02:32:20.000 I mean, he had a martial art background because he was a really good wrestler and did know some kicking and punching and stuff before he started into MMA. But he got into MMA because he got his girlfriend pregnant. 0.99

02:32:30.000 And he, you know, he couldn't go to college. 0.98

02:32:32.000 He wanted to do the right thing and said, all right, fuck it, I'll start fighting. 0.99

02:32:35.000 And then got into it. 1.00

02:32:35.000 I mean, he's a crazy road for anybody to take. 1.00

02:32:38.000 And to be that popular and that famous at 25, yeah, you're gonna fuck up, man. 0.98

02:32:42.000 But there was a... 0.98

02:32:43.000 You're gonna make mistakes.

02:32:44.000 You got to watch...

02:32:45.000 Can you almost pinpoint what it is when the switch flipped on him?

02:32:48.000 I remember, like, I went to UFC 101 in Philly, Forrest Griffin versus Silva, and there he was walking around, John Jones.

02:33:01.000 And I remember my buddy Dave was with me.

02:33:03.000 He was like, there's John Jones, man.

02:33:04.000 He's like, that guy's badass.

02:33:05.000 He's going to be the next champion.

02:33:06.000 He was just really pumping him up, saying how great he was and how fun of a young boy.

02:33:10.000 And then I started paying attention to him more, and he was amazing. 0.99

02:33:12.000 And then just one day, it just seems like people were like, what a dick. 0.99

02:33:15.000 Some people, yeah. 0.99

02:33:16.000 Yeah, but people want you to be perfect.

02:33:18.000 They're looking for flaws, too. 1.00

02:33:20.000 When you're such a bad motherfucker. 1.00

02:33:21.000 The Machida thing was the first thing I saw. 1.00

02:33:23.000 He didn't do anything wrong in that.

02:33:24.000 What do you mean?

02:33:25.000 I thought it was weird that he dropped him afterwards.

02:33:26.000 I know it's an aggressive situation, but I think dropping a guy that he said he knew was unconscious was kind of shitty for a sport.

02:33:32.000 I thought this was all supposed to be handshakes at the end and stuff.

02:33:35.000 I see what you're saying.

02:33:36.000 I see what you're saying.

02:33:37.000 I think it's still in combat mode, though.

02:33:39.000 Sure.

02:33:40.000 You could hear, but when he walks over, it's funny, Greg Jackson, you could hear him say to him, he goes, John, go win these people back and go check if he's okay.

02:33:48.000 That's true.

02:33:48.000 He says, he goes, go check if he's okay.

02:33:49.000 Go get some fans.

02:33:51.000 Yeah.

02:33:51.000 Yeah, go get some fans.

02:33:52.000 Yeah, no, that's true. 0.97

02:33:53.000 I think, but also I think to be a bad motherfucker at that high level, like a lot of times these guys are so intense that they get completely caught up in it and they're just trapped in the moment. 0.98

02:34:03.000 I think... 0.98

02:34:04.000 I know the dude.

02:34:05.000 I know him from backstage.

02:34:07.000 I know him from when he's not fighting.

02:34:09.000 And he's really friendly.

02:34:10.000 He's a really cool dude.

02:34:12.000 But I wouldn't want to be fighting him. 0.90

02:34:13.000 I think if you're competing against him, all those dudes that are at the top of the heap, they're pretty fucking ferocious.

02:34:19.000 And some guys are better at keeping it together in scenarios like that, where they don't drop the guy.

02:34:25.000 But some guys aren't.

02:34:26.000 You know, I mean, Dan Henderson was one of the greatest of all time.

02:34:28.000 One of the most famous moments in his career is he knocked out Michael Bisping with his vicious right hand.

02:34:33.000 And Bisping went soaring.

02:34:35.000 I mean, he was out cold.

02:34:36.000 And Henderson dropped one on him afterwards.

02:34:39.000 I remember that.

02:34:40.000 And then talked about it in the post-fight interview, how he dropped one on it.

02:34:43.000 I mean, that's common.

02:34:44.000 He said the last one was running his mouth kind of thing.

02:34:47.000 Exactly.

02:34:47.000 Babalu, who's another famous mixed martial arts fighter, great fighter, who fought in a bunch of different organizations.

02:34:55.000 He lost his gig with the UFC, partially because he held onto this guy after he was done choking him, and then talked about it in the post-fight press interview with me.

02:35:06.000 That guy was, I mean, not doing anything that B.J. Penn hadn't done.

02:35:11.000 B.J. Penn did the same thing to Jens Pulver.

02:35:13.000 Like, Pulver was tapping, he still fucking hung on to it because they were angry at each other. 0.93

02:35:17.000 But Pulver didn't go out, you know? 0.94

02:35:19.000 And for whatever reason, him holding that choke for an extra couple of seconds was okay.

02:35:23.000 Whereas Boba Lou's guy went out and then he talked about it.

02:35:25.000 But everybody knows why they do it.

02:35:26.000 Sure. 1.00

02:35:27.000 They do it because they're fucking caught up in all the trash talking and all the bullshit and... 0.99

02:35:32.000 It is important that a fighter let go when a referee tells him not to, but it's understandable how these guys get caught up in that. 0.99

02:35:39.000 It's understandable.

02:35:40.000 They've got to stop doing it, but what John did technically, there's nothing wrong with it.

02:35:45.000 Because when the referee came over to him, he didn't keep hanging on to it.

02:35:48.000 That would have been a more egregious example.

02:35:51.000 More, you know...

02:35:53.000 But it is one of those things where you appreciate, like Nate Marquardt fought this guy Damian Maia, knocked him out with one punch.

02:36:00.000 Damian was dazed but still conscious.

02:36:02.000 And Marquardt hovered over him and pulled back.

02:36:05.000 Realized he was out of it.

02:36:06.000 The referee stepped in and stopped it. 0.95

02:36:07.000 But Nate easily could have dropped a bomb on him.

02:36:09.000 And he didn't, and it was a really classy move.

02:36:12.000 And people really respected that, that he did that.

02:36:13.000 And I made sure I talked about it in the commentary that it was a very classy move.

02:36:17.000 Roy Jones used to do that.

02:36:19.000 Roy Jones used to almost look at the ref like, stop this.

02:36:21.000 He did that with Vinny Pazienza.

02:36:23.000 He looked over at the ref and he's like, come on, man, stop the fight.

02:36:25.000 And the referee said, no, he said, okay.

02:36:27.000 And then he went, ba-bing! 0.99

02:36:28.000 And dropped him again.

02:36:31.000 Yeah.

02:36:32.000 I mean, there's moments.

02:36:33.000 Isn't moments an interesting thing?

02:36:34.000 Once you lose your mojo, man, isn't it amazing if Roy Jones overnight went from still doing amazing things and then he lost and he lost again and he lost...

02:36:43.000 It can go...

02:36:44.000 Once you stop...

02:36:46.000 Believing in yourself as an athlete, it is a lot to do with you believing you're indestructible.

02:36:51.000 Once you see that chink in your own armor, man, getting that energy back up to do it again must be really, really hard. 1.00

02:36:58.000 Yeah, I guarantee.

02:36:59.000 And there's a lot of other factors involved in Roy, too, because he went up to heavyweight and then really had to dehydrate himself and weaken himself very badly, getting back down to light heavyweight again.

02:37:09.000 And then he got knocked out.

02:37:11.000 I mean, he fought...

02:37:12.000 Glenn Johnson, right?

02:37:14.000 No, Glenn Johnson knocked him out after... 0.99

02:37:16.000 God damn it, I can't believe it. 0.99

02:37:17.000 Tarver? 0.99

02:37:18.000 Yes, Antonio Tarver.

02:37:19.000 Tarver knocked him out.

02:37:21.000 Tarver was the first guy to stop him.

02:37:22.000 And he did it in a fight where it was a rematch of a fight that they had that was very close.

02:37:26.000 And then Roy went up to heavyweight, he boxed John Ruiz and beat him for the title, then came down to light heavyweight.

02:37:33.000 And in losing that 25 pounds, he really... 0.95

02:37:35.000 He dehydrated the shit out of himself. 0.99

02:37:37.000 He looked terrible. 0.99

02:37:38.000 He looked like he had starved.

02:37:40.000 He lost all of his hardness to his muscles.

02:37:44.000 He looked terrible.

02:37:45.000 It was a really ugly weight cut. 0.99

02:37:47.000 And he might have been on some shit to get up to heavyweight too. 0.99

02:37:50.000 That's possible. 1.00

02:37:51.000 And then you get off that shit, your hormone levels crash. 1.00

02:37:54.000 That's a speculation. 1.00

02:37:55.000 But the bottom line was, Tarver knocked him out.

02:37:57.000 And when Tarver connected, and Tarver's a big puncher, and we connected and knocked him out, Roy was never the same.

02:38:03.000 Yeah.

02:38:29.000 And when you get knocked out by a guy, when you get your brain scrambled, it takes a long time.

02:38:35.000 Freddie Roach is a genius.

02:38:37.000 And one of the things that he did brilliantly with Manny Pacquiao is after Pacquiao got knocked out, he told him, you're not going to fight for a year.

02:38:45.000 He's like, take your head out of this.

02:38:48.000 That was a bad knockout.

02:38:51.000 And Freddie is a guy who suffers from trauma-related Parkinson's himself.

02:38:55.000 He's got the shakes from his career in boxing.

02:38:58.000 And so, because of that, he's super, super aware of damage.

02:39:01.000 And he's like, look, you could be okay, but you've got to heal up.

02:39:04.000 There's no contact for a long time.

02:39:06.000 You're going to not fight for a year.

02:39:08.000 And then he came back a year later, and he looked great.

02:39:10.000 He looked like Manny Pacquiao.

02:39:13.000 And I think that rest time is super important, that recuperation time.

02:39:17.000 It's very important when a guy gets knocked out.

02:39:19.000 And so we saw Roy get beat by that guy, or get beat by Tarver, and then beat again by Johnson in a really scary way.

02:39:26.000 Yeah.

02:39:27.000 Yeah, that's when he went through the ropes.

02:39:28.000 Well, he went down and banged his head off the ground.

02:39:32.000 And he was stiff.

02:39:33.000 At the end of the fight, he was stiff in this weird, scary way.

02:39:38.000 And it didn't look like the kind of punch that would do that to you.

02:39:42.000 It didn't look like the kind of punch that would really put you in a catatonic state like that. 0.99

02:39:47.000 That was scary as shit, man. 0.99

02:39:49.000 It was also scary because Roy Jones, you know, he used to be invincible. 0.99

02:39:53.000 Yeah, that's what I mean.

02:39:54.000 Watching that happen to people is very, you know, watching like, you know, Michael Jordan number 45 come back on the Washington Wizards.

02:40:01.000 You know, you're like, ah.

02:40:02.000 Well, it's like watching Michael Jordan play baseball.

02:40:05.000 Yeah, that was the first thing.

02:40:07.000 He's human!

02:40:08.000 Yeah, that was definitely the first thing.

02:40:10.000 But to come back, because he came back and then was pretty great again, but then by the time he came back on The Wizards that one time, it was like, why even?

02:40:16.000 You never wanted to believe it wouldn't be good anymore.

02:40:18.000 I never saw that.

02:40:19.000 I never saw him come back.

02:40:21.000 That was tough to watch.

02:40:22.000 I had that with being from Philly.

02:40:24.000 Iverson, when he came back, did like 16 games before he left again.

02:40:29.000 Doesn't Iverson have some weird situation where like when he gets to be 50, he gets like some giant chunk of money?

02:40:34.000 Apparently, yeah.

02:40:35.000 With Reebok, he has some kind of like...

02:40:37.000 They're like set aside.

02:40:38.000 Putting money in trust or something like that.

02:40:39.000 Weird.

02:40:40.000 But he's broke now, right?

02:40:41.000 That's what they say.

02:40:43.000 They said he was begging for money. 1.00

02:40:44.000 Well, actually, it turned out it was bullshit, right? 1.00

02:40:46.000 Wasn't that a bullshit story? 0.99

02:40:47.000 He's not begging for money. 0.99

02:40:48.000 They just retired his number.

02:40:49.000 He looks fine. 0.88

02:40:50.000 No, somebody was saying that he was outside of a mall asking for money, but then I think that turned out to be a bullshit rumor that someone started.

02:40:57.000 Yeah, that's absolutely... 0.99

02:40:58.000 I heard Marilyn Manson lives above a fucking liquor store here in LA. He might. 0.99

02:41:04.000 He might do that just to be a fucking crazy person. 1.00

02:41:07.000 Marilyn Manson is the real deal, dude. 1.00

02:41:08.000 Talk to Stan...

02:41:09.000 Do you know Stan Hope?

02:41:10.000 No, he's...

02:41:11.000 Marilyn Manson is my favorite rock star of all time.

02:41:13.000 Do you know Stan Hope?

02:41:14.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:41:15.000 You need to talk to Stanhope about Manson.

02:41:17.000 They hung out?

02:41:17.000 Oh, good lordy.

02:41:19.000 Really?

02:41:19.000 Oh, I don't want to say anything on the air.

02:41:21.000 It's not my place.

02:41:22.000 But go ask.

02:41:24.000 He's not playing games.

02:41:26.000 Sounds like an absence story.

02:41:27.000 Nope.

02:41:28.000 It involves a lot of different things.

02:41:30.000 You need to hear it all from Stanhope.

02:41:32.000 I will.

02:41:33.000 I will look into that.

02:41:33.000 Or Malin Manson.

02:41:34.000 Or talk to Tate Fletcher.

02:41:35.000 Tate Fletcher's hung out with him, too.

02:41:37.000 I never met Marilyn Manson because for the same reason every time I see Dice, I never really talk to him.

02:41:42.000 Because I'm like, if this guy's a douchebag to me, it's going to just destroy my thing.

02:41:45.000 Dice would be cool to you.

02:41:46.000 If you're a comic, yeah, you'll be cool.

02:41:48.000 I wrote him on Bobby Kelly's podcast.

02:41:50.000 They made me read it.

02:41:51.000 I wrote him.

02:41:51.000 I got stoned one night and just...

02:41:53.000 This is...

02:41:54.000 This should have happened 15 years ago, not a year and a half ago.

02:41:58.000 I wrote him some Facebook-y love letter, and the return thing was like, this is actually Dice's assistant.

02:42:03.000 He doesn't really check his own personal thing.

02:42:06.000 I was like, yes!

02:42:07.000 Oh, I gave him references to who to ask about me.

02:42:10.000 Oh, no!

02:42:13.000 How long had you been doing comedy when you did that?

02:42:16.000 14 years.

02:42:18.000 LAUGHTER It was a year and a half ago, that's what I'm saying.

02:42:21.000 I got stoned and I was like...

02:42:23.000 You know what it was?

02:42:24.000 I got stoned and I was listening to Dice Man Cometh.

02:42:28.000 And Dice Man Cometh...

02:42:30.000 Look, as a professional adult comic now, doing it many years, I see the holes in everyone's game all the way...

02:42:37.000 You know what I mean?

02:42:38.000 There's no pedestal that I have on...

02:42:39.000 Except for the fact that Dice, when I was younger, loved him.

02:42:42.000 It was my favorite thing in the world.

02:42:43.000 It was part of the reason...

02:42:45.000 I would be funny.

02:42:46.000 I would go to school and recite Dice lines.

02:42:49.000 It was also a bonding thing that me and my step-pop started dating my mom and staying over and everything like that.

02:42:55.000 He would let me watch Dice.

02:42:56.000 He brought that into my life.

02:42:57.000 That was our bonding thing.

02:42:58.000 We both just loved Dice.

02:43:00.000 So now when I see him, just one of those guys, just like you, that somehow we haven't crossed paths.

02:43:06.000 I've seen him once in a while.

02:43:07.000 I'm like, I'm going to go talk to him, and I just don't.

02:43:09.000 Well, if I'm ever around him and you're around him, I'll introduce you.

02:43:12.000 He's great.

02:43:13.000 He's fun.

02:43:13.000 He's been on the podcast a bunch of times.

02:43:15.000 He's been great on the podcast, yeah.

02:43:16.000 I hung out with him and Norton and Anthony and...

02:43:19.000 God, it was a bunch of us.

02:43:21.000 And Brian and who else was with us?

02:43:23.000 Was Bobby Kelly?

02:43:23.000 No, it wasn't Bobby Kelly.

02:43:24.000 It was Bobby Kelly?

02:43:25.000 Yeah, Bobby Kelly was there too.

02:43:27.000 Yeah, and we all saw him.

02:43:28.000 We went to his show in Vegas.

02:43:31.000 Yeah, at the Riviera.

02:43:32.000 Nice.

02:43:33.000 Which is the classic venue.

02:43:35.000 It's the only place I've ever played.

02:43:36.000 Hasn't changed since 1970. I mean, they haven't done a goddamn thing. 0.98

02:43:40.000 They've washed the floor. 0.97

02:43:41.000 That's it.

02:43:41.000 He's at the comedy club?

02:43:42.000 Yeah, upstairs.

02:43:43.000 Right across from the Dancing Girls show?

02:43:45.000 No, he was at the above thing, the theater.

02:43:47.000 They used to have the Frank Marino drag show, the drag queen show.

02:43:50.000 Did you ever see that?

02:43:51.000 No.

02:43:52.000 Oh, it was great.

02:43:53.000 He's, like, the Lady is the Queen, I think.

02:43:55.000 Like, he has, like, a book out about, you know, being a cross-dresser.

02:43:59.000 He used to do a whole show where he would, like, cross-dress this guy.

02:44:03.000 And he's, like, a famous cross-dresser for Vegas.

02:44:05.000 Like, one of those guys where, like, you really didn't see him or hear about him anywhere else, but if you're in Vegas, like Frank Marino, you'd see his name on these cabs, like the little triangle that sits on top of the cab.

02:44:17.000 You know what I'm talking about?

02:44:17.000 The little billboard things that they have that they rent out.

02:44:20.000 And so Dice had that room.

02:44:22.000 It was like the upstairs room.

02:44:23.000 It's a larger room.

02:44:24.000 And we went to see it.

02:44:27.000 We're howling like little school children.

02:44:29.000 And then after it was over, we were hanging out backstage. 0.99

02:44:31.000 And I was like, holy shit, I'm backstage with Dice. 0.88

02:44:34.000 I was thinking about being a kid and listening to his... 0.97

02:44:37.000 It was a cassette in my car.

02:44:38.000 Yeah, tapes.

02:44:39.000 Dice rules.

02:44:40.000 Yeah.

02:44:40.000 It was just Dice, I think.

02:44:42.000 The first one was just Dice.

02:44:44.000 And I was listening to it with this girl I was dating.

02:44:46.000 We were crying, laughing.

02:44:47.000 We thought it was so funny.

02:44:49.000 Because back then it was like so shocking what he was saying.

02:44:53.000 Anytime someone dismisses Dice, I always go, uh...

02:44:56.000 He goes, he's having a hard time making friends, so I go to see the psychotherapist. 1.00

02:45:00.000 And I'm like, hey doc, I'm having a hard time making friends, you fucking cocksucker. 1.00

02:45:06.000 Ha ha ha ha! 1.00

02:45:07.000 I'm like, if you tell me that's not funny, you just don't know what funny is.

02:45:09.000 That's funny.

02:45:11.000 Well, he...

02:45:12.000 You know, if you know his story, that dice part was a character.

02:45:16.000 Yep.

02:45:17.000 Oh, yeah, no, I know the whole...

02:45:17.000 I mean, just from being a fan, but I heard him on your thing, too, tell the whole story and everything.

02:45:21.000 But it's weird that he acknowledges it being a character and still, in a weird way, chooses to live as the character.

02:45:27.000 Yeah.

02:45:27.000 He likes it.

02:45:28.000 He likes being that guy. 1.00

02:45:29.000 He likes wearing wrestling fucking gloves. 1.00

02:45:31.000 Joey Buttafuoco sweatshirts and shit. 1.00

02:45:34.000 Just the cut. 1.00

02:45:35.000 Weightlifting gloves.

02:45:36.000 Oh, he's going to do flash dance?

02:45:37.000 The flash dance shirts?

02:45:40.000 He used to wear the Gold's Gym jacket everywhere.

02:45:43.000 The way he came out on the one he did in the round, the special, was the headband with the big feathered staying alive hair.

02:45:54.000 Well, you ever hear him talk about how he tried to move back to Brooklyn, too?

02:45:56.000 Uh-uh.

02:45:57.000 Oh, it's hilarious.

02:45:58.000 Really?

02:45:59.000 Yeah.

02:45:59.000 He just tried to move back with those animals.

02:46:02.000 After he became the Dice Man, I'm going to go back to the neighborhood.

02:46:06.000 Get a nice place.

02:46:08.000 Put up a fence and hide behind it.

02:46:11.000 You can't just be hanging around with those people?

02:46:13.000 It's an interesting...

02:46:14.000 I'd be curious to find out if Larry the cable guy...

02:46:18.000 Like, he's like, hey, babe, I gotta run to the hardware store or whatever.

02:46:21.000 You know, I'm sure he doesn't do that.

02:46:22.000 But whatever I have to go out for, if he has to go throw on, like, a sleeveless flannel shirt, if he can go back...

02:46:27.000 I mean, he's like a tucked-in shirt guy.

02:46:29.000 Well, he...

02:46:30.000 That is a complete and total character.

02:46:32.000 Yeah, Dan Whitney.

02:46:33.000 But does he...

02:46:35.000 I mean, is he almost committed to living his life now as Larry the Cable?

02:46:38.000 I mean, he sort of has to.

02:46:39.000 I think he kind of has to.

02:46:39.000 I mean, if he ever went out as Dan Whitney or did an interview, like on The View, he's one of the few real characters in stand-up.

02:46:46.000 Whereas, like, if he went on The View, I don't know why I keep saying The View, but if he went on the Jimmy Fallon show, The Tonight Show, and he went on as Dan Whitney, it would probably blow his whole fucking thing. 0.95

02:46:57.000 Well, isn't that what happened? 0.63

02:46:58.000 You can almost pinpoint the change in Dice's career trajectory was when he cried in Arsenio Hall.

02:47:04.000 He humanized himself too much, which some people probably thought was a cool thing, but when he cried about...

02:47:09.000 Like, you know, Dice Man's supposed to come out and be...

02:47:11.000 You know, they were taking his movie out of the theater.

02:47:13.000 That was his beef.

02:47:14.000 And he got teary-eyed.

02:47:15.000 But if before he... 1.00

02:47:17.000 You know, Dice is supposed to come out and be like, Fuck you! 1.00

02:47:19.000 Don't see my movie, you twats! 1.00

02:47:21.000 Wow! 0.84

02:47:22.000 But he cried in Arsenio Hall, and it was real...

02:47:25.000 It was a genuine moment, and that's just, you know, that's not who Dice is.

02:47:28.000 Well, I think he was also under some insane pressure.

02:47:31.000 Like, if you don't remember what it was like back then, like, there were so many people that were angry to me.

02:47:36.000 I mean, he had, like, some hateful comedy.

02:47:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:47:39.000 Like, the things that he was making fun, like, the way he was making fun of it, it's like...

02:47:44.000 If you go back and listen to Eddie Murphy Raw, if you go back and see some of the gay stuff, it was really aggressively anti-gay. 0.75

02:47:53.000 Homophobic.

02:47:53.000 The comic strip in New York, I've told this on so many radio shows, but it does make me laugh that how things have changed and no one...

02:48:00.000 It comes down on Eddie Murphy ever for this stuff, but they have two of his gold albums on the wall. 0.97

02:48:04.000 And the first one, track four, is just called Faggots. 1.00

02:48:08.000 And then track one on the next album is because it says Faggots and in parentheses it says Revisited. 0.98

02:48:16.000 We didn't cover it all on the first go-round. 0.95

02:48:20.000 Well, in that way, social justice warriors, as it were, are kind of important because that's the only reason why a lot of this change has taken place is because of how outraged people got.

02:48:32.000 If people just kept quiet about it back then.

02:48:35.000 So in a way, taking it too far sort of bounces back and has a healthy middle.

02:48:43.000 You know what I mean?

02:48:44.000 In some ways, there's always going to be the far left.

02:48:46.000 But in a lot of ways, the far left tempers the far right.

02:48:50.000 It's because the standard changes.

02:48:53.000 It moves back and forth. 0.97

02:48:55.000 If you let people go and be as racist and as homophobic and as hateful as they want and don't do anything about it, they kind of never realize that what they're doing is shitty. 0.86

02:49:07.000 But because of the blowback, like Dice, all that crying and everything that he did, that's probably a direct result of blowback. 0.85

02:49:13.000 He was constantly experiencing people that were protesting.

02:49:16.000 Remember, he got kicked off of MTV for life.

02:49:19.000 And I remember Kurt Loder saying about how unfunny it was.

02:49:23.000 Unfunny to who?

02:49:24.000 To you? 0.99

02:49:25.000 Okay, I guarantee you if he did that late night at the comedy store, it would fucking crush. 0.97

02:49:29.000 So, like, are you recognizing this as a character, or do you think this is a real person who's saying these real things, and do you think there's any comedy in this play that he's putting on, which is essentially he's pretending to be this awful guy! 1.00

02:49:43.000 Oh, you cocksucker! 1.00

02:49:46.000 Yeah, say he's gonna fuck a guy's chick in front of him. 1.00

02:49:49.000 It's obvious that he doesn't really mean that. 1.00

02:49:51.000 I mean, he's like, five minutes left.

02:49:53.000 That's what he's doing.

02:49:53.000 There's some craziness to it.

02:49:55.000 I mean, it's a character.

02:49:57.000 I mean, is there a difference between that character and the bad guy character in a movie where the guy is running around killing people or raping people?

02:50:05.000 Is there a difference?

02:50:07.000 I mean, it is just fiction.

02:50:08.000 Like, how come we don't hold the actor responsible because the actor didn't write it?

02:50:13.000 If he wrote it and he wanted to be the bad guy, would we be upset at him?

02:50:16.000 No, it's like, for the comedian...

02:50:18.000 Well, for that kind of comedy...

02:50:19.000 But I mean, but there's also...

02:50:20.000 You don't have to do a character to say...

02:50:23.000 I feel like the entire disclaimer of everything goes to, like I said earlier, there's a laughing microphone behind you on a wall.

02:50:30.000 You know what I mean?

02:50:31.000 I'm not addressing the State of the Union.

02:50:36.000 You know what I mean?

02:50:36.000 I'm up here telling you, it's clearly...

02:50:39.000 That was all my thing about with the Tosh, the lady getting so mad. 1.00

02:50:42.000 It's like, do you believe for one split second that Daniel Tosh is pro-rape and has slipped through the cracks to find himself massive television success?

02:50:50.000 Do you believe that?

02:50:51.000 That doesn't happen.

02:50:52.000 No.

02:50:53.000 It doesn't happen.

02:50:53.000 That would have reared its head before.

02:50:54.000 It's not what they're saying.

02:50:56.000 What they're saying is they've found a green light.

02:50:58.000 They've found a green light to be outraged.

02:51:00.000 And, you know, also some people are way more sensitive than others.

02:51:03.000 You know, being called out in front of all those people, having everybody laugh at what he said to her, probably sucked for her.

02:51:09.000 Sure.

02:51:10.000 So she decided that she was, for whatever reason, you know, she was justified in proving her point, or making her point, or expressing herself.

02:51:18.000 Which, you know, you should be allowed to express yourself, but the idea that he's supposed to apologize for that, like, if you look at what it was on paper, and then they hear comics agreeing with him, that was just disappointing.

02:51:27.000 But your outrage is supposed to come at, like, oppression, injustice, whatever.

02:51:32.000 You're not supposed to, like, rage against the art of You know what I mean?

02:51:35.000 Like...

02:51:35.000 In a clear...

02:51:36.000 The creatives? 0.99

02:51:37.000 ...fucking around situation where someone's just fucking around. 1.00

02:51:40.000 It's clear. 0.99

02:51:40.000 I mean, he's ad-libbing. 0.99

02:51:41.000 This is not a thought-out piece, you know, where he's advocating a woman, a random woman getting raped for no reason other than... 0.58

02:51:48.000 But it's also not a Klan rally is what I'm saying.

02:51:49.000 Yeah.

02:51:50.000 You're in an environment of this is what it is.

02:51:52.000 Well, you know what, man?

02:51:53.000 Some people would be really happy if everybody was exactly like them.

02:51:56.000 If everybody had the same sensibilities, sensitivities, everybody had the same ideas about what's important to talk about, what you can't talk about, what's taboo, what's okay.

02:52:06.000 You know... 0.74

02:52:07.000 There's plenty of people out there that agree and disagree and they're fucking going at it back and forth. 0.97

02:52:12.000 That's what's fascinating. 0.92

02:52:14.000 That's what's fascinating about trying to find out where's the middle ground.

02:52:17.000 How much of it is me being crazy?

02:52:19.000 How much of it is me just tapping into one mindset with whatever thing you support or disagree with?

02:52:25.000 You know, anything.

02:52:25.000 Whether it's the style of comedy that people do or the kind of music that people are into.

02:52:30.000 Some fucking kid got arrested because he took some lyrics to a song and put the lyrics up as a tweet. 0.99

02:52:37.000 And they arrested him. 1.00

02:52:38.000 Because it was like some fucking crazy... 1.00

02:52:40.000 Copyright? 1.00

02:52:40.000 Some song about school shootings. 1.00

02:52:42.000 Oh, I was going to say, it wasn't for the actual copyright of the song.

02:52:45.000 No, no, no.

02:52:46.000 They arrested him because he tweeted some, and the band, I forget what the band's name was that came to his defense, but they're like, this is the lyrics to our song.

02:52:57.000 It's like an anti-school shooting song.

02:52:59.000 But it's like talking about where this all comes from.

02:53:03.000 I don't know if it's an anti-school shooting song, but it's just a song.

02:53:06.000 And it's coming from, like, the rage of, like, where's this guy feeling?

02:53:10.000 What is this guy doing?

02:53:10.000 And this guy tweeted this, these lyrics.

02:53:13.000 Like, if you tweet something from a movie about, like, kill them all, let God sort them out, like, does that mean I'm going to go out and kill people? 0.56

02:53:20.000 I mean, Gus Van Sant made a whole, basically, a Columbine movie. 0.98

02:53:23.000 Yeah, right?

02:53:24.000 Remember what he did in that movie, though?

02:53:26.000 What he added in, for some reason, was before they went to do the murder, they just got in the shower together and made out.

02:53:32.000 What movie was that?

02:53:34.000 Elephant.

02:53:35.000 He just added that in there.

02:53:36.000 Before they went to go shoot, it was all the same thing.

02:53:38.000 Filming themselves and planning the whole thing for weeks and getting the guns together.

02:53:42.000 And then right before school that morning, they just hopped in the shower together and started making out.

02:53:46.000 The two dudes?

02:53:46.000 Yeah.

02:53:47.000 Nothing about that ever in the real story.

02:53:49.000 That was how he made it like, you know, oh no, this isn't the Columbine story.

02:53:52.000 These kids were making out in a shower first.

02:53:54.000 Wow, that's pretty clever of him.

02:53:57.000 Hilarious.

02:53:57.000 And on that note, Big Jay Oakerson, thank you very much, brother.

02:54:01.000 This was a lot of fun.

02:54:01.000 This was amazing.

02:54:02.000 Thank you so much.

02:54:02.000 I think we could do like a hundred of these.

02:54:04.000 Yeah, well, anytime I come out, dude, I'll be happy.

02:54:06.000 Anytime.

02:54:06.000 How often are you out here?

02:54:07.000 I'm trying to come out more.

02:54:08.000 I'm trying to come out like three times a year, at least.

02:54:10.000 Beautiful.

02:54:10.000 And you're on Ari Shafir's Storyteller Show that's online, and are you doing the other one tonight?

02:54:15.000 I'm doing the one for TV tonight.

02:54:16.000 I think there's probably some tickets available.

02:54:18.000 Ari was upset that they weren't moving quick enough.

02:54:22.000 People just didn't know about it.

02:54:23.000 But they're available for free.

02:54:24.000 Contact Ari Shafir on Twitter and he will respond to you and get you tickets for free.

02:54:28.000 Big Jay Oakerson on Twitter.

02:54:30.000 What's your website?

02:54:31.000 Big J Comedy.

02:54:33.000 Big J Comedy, ladies and gentlemen.

02:54:35.000 Thank you, brother.

02:54:35.000 Thanks for having me.

02:54:36.000 Fun times.

02:54:37.000 Amazing.

02:54:37.000 Thanks to our sponsor.

02:54:38.000 Thanks to Squarespace.

02:54:39.000 Go to squarespace.com.

02:54:40.000 Use the code word ROGAN and save 10% off your first purchase at squarespace.com.

02:54:45.000 Entering the code word ROGAN. Thanks also to LegalZoom.

02:54:49.000 Enter the code word ROGAN at the referral box at checkout.

02:54:52.000 LegalZoom. 0.81

02:54:53.000 An awesome way to do legal shit from the comforts of your own home. 0.98

02:54:56.000 And last but not least, thanks to Onnit.com. 0.90

02:54:58.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word ROGAN and save 10% off any and all supplements.

02:55:03.000 Alright, we'll be back tomorrow with Rupert Sheldrake.

02:55:06.000 And then Thursday with Graham Hancock.

02:55:08.000 See you soon.

02:55:09.000 Bye-bye.

02:55:09.000 Big kiss.

The Joe Rogan Experience - September 15, 2014

Joe Rogan Experience #549 - Big Jay Oakerson

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