The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #558 - Honey Honey

00:00:09.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:11.000 Train by day!

00:00:12.000 Joe Rogan Podcast by night!

00:00:14.000 All day!

00:00:16.000 Ladies and gentlemen, my friends, honey, honey, Ben, Suzanne, you're back.

00:00:22.000 What's up?

00:00:23.000 What's up, guys?

00:00:24.000 Man, it's so weird without the ads.

00:00:26.000 Yeah, it's better that way.

00:00:27.000 We smoosh them in later.

00:00:29.000 We're boring people.

00:00:30.000 You have to sit there and listen in five minutes. 0.99

00:00:32.000 I like hearing about the dick pills. 0.99

00:00:34.000 Is it still dick pills, Suzanne? 0.99

00:00:36.000 No, no, no, no flashlights. 0.98

00:00:38.000 It's been a while.

00:00:38.000 Our first...

00:00:39.000 Our first podcast with you, you had dick pills, I'm pretty sure, and Red Band took one. 1.00

00:00:43.000 You were talking about having a boner for like six hours. 0.99

00:00:46.000 No, that was totally unrelated. 0.99

00:00:47.000 He was getting some shit at gas stations. 0.99

00:00:49.000 We weren't selling that. 0.99

00:00:51.000 That was the beginning of a bad addiction, though.

00:00:53.000 I went deep.

00:00:55.000 What was it?

00:00:56.000 There's no sponsorship involved for that.

00:00:58.000 No, it's just Mexican Viagra where they take Viagra and mix it with acorns and call it a supplement.

00:01:03.000 You're not supposed to.

00:01:04.000 You don't know what you're eating.

00:01:04.000 Did it work?

00:01:05.000 Oh, it worked.

00:01:06.000 What it is, is like, if you would buy, Aubrey explained it to us, the hustle.

00:01:10.000 If you would buy, like, you know, super rocket pills at the gas station, and it says guaranteed erection and all this jazz, they're just selling you Viagra, but they're doing it without a prescription.

00:01:20.000 And so they're just putting Viagra in these pills and then saying, oh, this is our super secret supplement. 0.99

00:01:26.000 And when people find out it works, they buy the shit out of it. 0.92

00:01:29.000 It's a way to buy Viagra without a prescription. 0.96

00:01:31.000 Is that legal?

00:01:31.000 Well, how does it work?

00:01:31.000 It's not, but the fines are very low.

00:01:34.000 Really?

00:01:35.000 Yeah.

00:01:35.000 And who's regulating that?

00:01:37.000 That's a good question.

00:01:38.000 Well, the FDA... The boner police?

00:01:40.000 They regulate it if they find out that it's actually Viagra, but a lot of times they don't find out.

00:01:44.000 There's a million different names, and apparently they get a small fine. 0.99

00:01:48.000 What Aubrey said is some of the companies will change their name and then restart up under a different name and do the same fucking shit. 1.00

00:01:54.000 Oh my god. 1.00

00:01:54.000 Ben, what are we doing playing music? 1.00

00:01:56.000 We should be getting boners for God's sake. 0.99

00:01:58.000 Brian, I have a question.

00:01:59.000 They just change a name.

00:02:01.000 Do you just take it and then...

00:02:02.000 No.

00:02:04.000 Some of them times it doesn't work.

00:02:06.000 It's kind of like mushrooms where it's based on what you eat, I find.

00:02:09.000 Isn't this never good, though?

00:02:11.000 That seems like a disintegrating motion.

00:02:15.000 You're doing like the knuckles blow up.

00:02:17.000 You guys don't do that?

00:02:19.000 Yours doesn't work like that?

00:02:20.000 Mine does not.

00:02:21.000 Now I'm getting sad.

00:02:22.000 I wish I had those extra effects.

00:02:25.000 Go to the gas station.

00:02:26.000 I was going to say, should we go to the convenience store and come back? 1.00

00:02:29.000 Apparently some of them at the gas station are just bullshit. 1.00

00:02:33.000 Some of them are just like some goofy herbs. 1.00

00:02:35.000 But how great of a placebo is that?

00:02:37.000 Maybe it just works anyway.

00:02:39.000 It could if you really think you got the super hard-on pills, the super Chinese Viagra. 0.96

00:02:44.000 Well, you just went global with it, and I was about to ask the question.

00:02:48.000 Isn't there a Chinese supplement where they're using rhinoceros horn, ground rhinoceros horn? 0.99

00:02:53.000 That's been a big fucking issue. 0.97

00:02:55.000 Yeah, I was at the airport the other day, and they had this big rhino photo that said, I am not medicine. 0.99

00:03:01.000 And it was talking about the use of rhino horns in some eastern medicines.

00:03:06.000 Yeah, there's some people that really believe it.

00:03:08.000 They believe it can bring good luck.

00:03:10.000 It can cure things.

00:03:12.000 It can cure cancer.

00:03:13.000 It's kind of amazing how you can set a trend, you know what I mean?

00:03:17.000 Well, obviously, that's a terrible trend, but it takes one person to be like, I ground up this rock I found in my backyard, and I'll give you some for 50 bucks.

00:03:29.000 That was my childhood.

00:03:32.000 They sell a Rhino 7, it's the best one.

00:03:35.000 It's called Rhino 7. Look at the explosions.

00:03:39.000 Look at the rhinos running through fire. 0.94

00:03:42.000 How bad would your life suck if you saw a rhino running through fire?

00:03:46.000 Could you imagine if you're in a forest fire and you're trapped and you're standing there?

00:03:50.000 What are you talking about?

00:03:50.000 I saw that last night.

00:03:51.000 And a rhino...

00:03:52.000 I'm just kidding.

00:03:54.000 What?

00:03:55.000 What?

00:03:57.000 Do you have cleats on?

00:03:59.000 The rhino is running through this burst of fire.

00:04:03.000 That would be one of the worst things on Earth that you could ever see.

00:04:07.000 That's kind of how I imagine your life.

00:04:08.000 Honestly.

00:04:09.000 We had bear talk earlier with Joe.

00:04:12.000 Bear talk with Joe.

00:04:14.000 I got more questions, man.

00:04:16.000 Okay.

00:04:16.000 What kind of questions?

00:04:17.000 Well, so you were telling us that it's a predator.

00:04:23.000 Yes.

00:04:24.000 So it's in a different species of reaction in the sense of how it's perceiving everything around it.

00:04:29.000 Bears are omnivores.

00:04:31.000 Sometimes they'll ignore any game because they find a big patch of blueberries and they'll even ignore meat that's being left out.

00:04:39.000 They don't care.

00:04:39.000 They'll find a patch of blueberries on a hill and they'll just go to that.

00:04:43.000 Their sense of smell is incredible.

00:04:45.000 So they are super sensitive though.

00:04:46.000 If you're over there, they know you're there.

00:04:48.000 Oh yeah.

00:04:49.000 They know you're there unless you're really far away.

00:04:53.000 You could be like 100 yards away or 200 yards away with the right wind.

00:04:57.000 They might not know you're there.

00:04:58.000 But if they're near you and there's no wind, most likely they know you're there.

00:05:03.000 If the wind is blowing towards them, they definitely know you're there.

00:05:05.000 They can just smell you.

00:05:06.000 That's crazy.

00:05:07.000 Their sense of smell is way better than a dog's, and a dog's sense of smell is insanely better than a person's. 0.51

00:05:13.000 You know, it's really hard for them to measure what animals have the best sense of smell.

00:05:19.000 It's very difficult to really kind of quantify it, but what's even more difficult is us even imagining how good a dog's sense of smell is.

00:05:28.000 Because it's a totally different perception at that point, right?

00:05:30.000 They might be able to smell like fear.

00:05:33.000 Totally.

00:05:34.000 And it's like seeing an infrared or something like that.

00:05:38.000 The world just opens up in a completely different way.

00:05:40.000 Is there like a fear pheromone that you emit?

00:05:42.000 I guess there must be, right?

00:05:44.000 There's gotta be. 0.99

00:05:44.000 I think there's weird shit that you smell when you're around people that you don't like. 0.99

00:05:48.000 Definitely. 0.98

00:05:49.000 Or people that freak you out, or people that might have bad intentions.

00:05:52.000 They have a weird smell.

00:05:55.000 Absolutely.

00:05:56.000 I have a nose like a bloodhound.

00:05:57.000 Do you?

00:05:57.000 Yeah.

00:05:58.000 It's really weird.

00:05:59.000 Can you track bad guys?

00:06:00.000 I really can.

00:06:01.000 I swear to God.

00:06:02.000 So far, this room is okay.

00:06:06.000 Everybody's doing great.

00:06:07.000 Did you give Jamie a good sniff?

00:06:09.000 I did, Jamie.

00:06:10.000 You smell great.

00:06:11.000 You passed the test.

00:06:14.000 Yeah, I couldn't imagine, like, smelling everybody's farts, like, in a city.

00:06:18.000 Like, if you're at a mall.

00:06:19.000 That's a lot of farts.

00:06:20.000 Like, if you're a dog and you're at the mall.

00:06:22.000 I can imagine it, though.

00:06:22.000 You're in a sea of farts.

00:06:23.000 Yeah, but if you're a dog, you're eating shit, so you're into it. 1.00

00:06:26.000 That's true. 1.00

00:06:26.000 You don't mind at all. 1.00

00:06:27.000 They don't have any cultural context.

00:06:29.000 You know?

00:06:31.000 Yet.

00:06:31.000 I have faith that they will evolve.

00:06:35.000 And we will see it.

00:06:36.000 What do you mean?

00:06:37.000 Look at Jumpy the dog.

00:06:39.000 I mean, he is way ahead of schedule. 1.00

00:06:40.000 Do you think dogs of today look back at the dogs of like 500 years ago and go, what about your fucking idiots chasing their tail? 1.00

00:06:47.000 You Neanderthals. 1.00

00:06:48.000 Freaking out when they heard the first siren.

00:06:50.000 But they had their heroes that we don't even know about.

00:06:53.000 You remember that one dog?

00:06:56.000 The dog to save the guy?

00:06:57.000 The first one to bury the bone.

00:06:59.000 You know my friend Steve Rinello was telling me that they used to do shows where they would take a raft filled with animals and they would push them off of the big waterfall.

00:07:10.000 What is it?

00:07:12.000 Niagara Falls?

00:07:13.000 Jesus, that's terrible.

00:07:14.000 People would pay to watch it.

00:07:15.000 They would stay on the sidelines.

00:07:16.000 And they would push a raft of animals off Niagara Falls to their death.

00:07:21.000 What?

00:07:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:07:22.000 Some early 1900s shit. 1.00

00:07:24.000 Why? 1.00

00:07:25.000 Because people, you know, it was a show.

00:07:27.000 Like, people could see the show.

00:07:28.000 Like, they would pay to see.

00:07:29.000 So they would load this raft up with exotic animals that were freaking out, trying to figure out how to get off the raft, and then just send them over the top. 1.00

00:07:37.000 Sick sons of bitches. 1.00

00:07:38.000 Wow. 1.00

00:07:39.000 How weird.

00:07:40.000 Yeah.

00:07:41.000 That doesn't sound even entertaining.

00:07:43.000 I'm depressed now.

00:07:44.000 Okay.

00:07:45.000 It's definitely not entertaining.

00:07:46.000 It's definitely disgusting.

00:07:47.000 It definitely should be illegal.

00:07:49.000 It definitely should be punished.

00:07:50.000 But if you were there while that raft is headed towards the apex...

00:07:56.000 Do you keep looking or do you go, I don't want no part of this? 0.99

00:07:58.000 That was like the primitive form of all the fucking Facebook shit of like, distractify. 0.99

00:08:05.000 It was like, let's just watch something absolutely asinine or horrifying because there's that shock factor. 0.99

00:08:12.000 But I feel like that's not too far off from watching dogfighting, even though there's gambling and betting involved.

00:08:19.000 But like, people that can handle that kind of thing, I think there's just like...

00:08:24.000 I think there's some sort of, I can't relate to this, but I think that there's some sort of innate primal instinct to want to see something terrible so it's more terrible than what you can experience in your everyday life.

00:08:39.000 Maybe feel better about it or something. 0.88

00:08:41.000 Or people are just sick and disgusting. 0.98

00:08:43.000 I think either or, right? 0.99

00:08:44.000 It doesn't have to be one or the other.

00:08:46.000 I mean, it could be both.

00:08:48.000 Are you sure?

00:08:49.000 Like, that's for real?

00:08:50.000 Like, people actually really did that?

00:08:51.000 Like, that's not a joke?

00:08:52.000 Oh, yeah.

00:08:52.000 No, it was real.

00:08:53.000 It was like a show.

00:08:54.000 Oh, my God.

00:08:55.000 People would pay to see it.

00:08:56.000 Yeah.

00:08:58.000 We were just talking about this earlier, actually.

00:09:00.000 What do you got?

00:09:00.000 What are you pulling up?

00:09:00.000 We were just trying to find pictures of it.

00:09:01.000 Oh.

00:09:02.000 We were just talking about this earlier.

00:09:03.000 Not sure if I want to see it.

00:09:04.000 About being sensitive, and I was telling Joe that there's some...

00:09:11.000 You guys were talking about being sensitive?

00:09:12.000 Being sensitive.

00:09:13.000 That's what you were talking about.

00:09:15.000 I brought the feminine energy today. 1.00

00:09:17.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:09:18.000 She does. 0.99

00:09:19.000 And whiskey.

00:09:20.000 And the whiskey.

00:09:21.000 Feminine energy and the cure for the feminine energy. 1.00

00:09:24.000 Whiskey.

00:09:24.000 It's true.

00:09:26.000 But, you know, we were talking about TV and there's certain...

00:09:31.000 Whenever I'm witnessing, whether it's in a TV show or a movie or real life, some people really losing or people...

00:09:40.000 Just being absolutely terrible to one another, especially when someone is trying their best and they just get kicked when they're down.

00:09:47.000 That just guts me.

00:09:49.000 Because you're a genuinely nice person.

00:09:51.000 It crushes my soul.

00:09:52.000 You're a genuinely nice person who would never do that, so you see it and it drives you crazy.

00:09:56.000 One of the things that drives us crazy is the horrible things that we hope we never see in ourselves.

00:10:02.000 You know, like when we see something really pathetic, or horrible or mean or vicious, there's part of us that like...

00:10:09.000 knows it's evil and knows it's bad and people are being hurt and that part of us, without a doubt, is angry or upset at that situation.

00:10:17.000 But there's also a part of us that hopes that we're never like that.

00:10:20.000 I think that's part of what you see even when you see a murderer or we see someone whose life has gone totally out of control and off the rails and into the woods.

00:10:30.000 You just go, God, could that have been me?

00:10:33.000 That's one of the things that freaks you out the most.

00:10:35.000 It opens up the spectrum of what we're capable of.

00:10:38.000 You see some person who shows up at their job and just starts shooting people.

00:10:42.000 And you go, what brought her to do that?

00:10:45.000 It's usually not her.

00:10:46.000 I don't know why I said her.

00:10:47.000 Has it ever been her?

00:10:48.000 Is there ever been a woman mass shooter? 1.00

00:10:50.000 That's a really good fucking question. 1.00

00:10:51.000 You were just talking about this. 0.99

00:10:53.000 Maybe one or two.

00:10:54.000 There was this Esquire article.

00:10:55.000 That's a very good question.

00:10:56.000 About mass shooting.

00:10:59.000 It's not even at all.

00:11:01.000 Yeah, there's an Esquire article about it.

00:11:02.000 Let's not get any ideas out there, ladies. 1.00

00:11:04.000 Let's just keep it cool.

00:11:05.000 Keep it cool.

00:11:06.000 Everybody, stay calm.

00:11:08.000 And it was really interesting, because half the article was just like a history of maybe just the last ten years of mass shooting.

00:11:15.000 There's been a ridiculous amount of...

00:11:17.000 Why mass shootings are always male? 0.95

00:11:19.000 It's in Time Magazine. 1.00

00:11:21.000 Except there's a big fucking stupid pull-down menu that we can't get out of the way. 1.00

00:11:25.000 Way to go. 1.00

00:11:26.000 How about you use Squarespace, you fucks? 1.00

00:11:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:11:28.000 Make yourself a really useful website.

00:11:30.000 Was that one of the ads that just happened?

00:11:31.000 Are we just going to slip them in?

00:11:33.000 Why don't you use a flashlight to do it?

00:11:34.000 That was an ad from earlier.

00:11:37.000 Rhino horn.

00:11:39.000 Squarespace isn't even on today's ads, so stop it.

00:11:42.000 Just stop it.

00:11:43.000 They make an excellent website.

00:11:45.000 That's all I'm saying.

00:11:46.000 The other half of the Esquire article was about this dude who was foiled in his mass shooting attempt, and he went to prison, but they didn't.

00:11:54.000 It was like Frank Abagnale.

00:11:55.000 You know how he was this world-traveling counterfeiter, and eventually they caught him, and he started working for the FBI. Oh, I'm not aware of that.

00:12:04.000 Okay.

00:12:05.000 Catch Me If You Can, movie.

00:12:06.000 Leo DiCaprio.

00:12:07.000 That's about that guy?

00:12:08.000 That's about that dude.

00:12:09.000 And this was a similar situation where they found this mass shooter who didn't actually get to carry out his plan and then started to use him to get into the psyche of these dudes.

00:12:18.000 And he talks about the process.

00:12:21.000 It starts with isolation, but the turning point was him starting to feel like he realized he was better than everybody.

00:12:28.000 It was loneliness and alienation and then like, wait, but the reason is I'm the best and they're the worst.

00:12:35.000 And he created his plan.

00:12:36.000 So all these guys created this.

00:12:38.000 Ben, are you trying to tell us you're a serial killer?

00:12:40.000 Is this your subtle way of telling us that you are a mass shooter in waiting? 0.94

00:12:46.000 Are you ready to pop? 0.85

00:12:48.000 Don't at me like this.

00:12:48.000 Are you ready to pop, bro?

00:12:49.000 Come on. 0.99

00:12:50.000 Questions like that, you're gonna fucking find out. 1.00

00:12:53.000 Well, mental illness is a terrifying thing, because I don't know what's going on in your brain, I don't know what's going on in your brain. 0.99

00:13:00.000 I can only guess, based on all the time we've hung out together, that it's nothing scary.

00:13:06.000 You know what I mean?

00:13:06.000 I'm telling you, everybody smells good in here, okay?

00:13:08.000 Everybody smells good.

00:13:09.000 I agree.

00:13:10.000 It's okay.

00:13:10.000 I don't smell any crazies or bad guys.

00:13:12.000 Woman in California postal shooting had history of bizarre behavior. 1.00

00:13:15.000 How many did she shoot? 0.59

00:13:18.000 Six.

00:13:19.000 That qualifies.

00:13:20.000 Do you know that the woman who, there was a woman secret service agent that got overpowered by that guy that ran into the White House?

00:13:28.000 There was a woman Secret Service agent that was on the first line of fire. 1.00

00:13:31.000 She was on the front line.

00:13:33.000 The guy got in and got a hold of her and overpowered her. 0.83

00:13:36.000 That's no good.

00:13:37.000 That's terrifying.

00:13:38.000 He got past her.

00:13:39.000 He got past her.

00:13:41.000 Was that recently?

00:13:42.000 Yeah.

00:13:43.000 A few days ago.

00:13:43.000 Okay, I know what you're talking about.

00:13:44.000 It's scary as shit, man. 1.00

00:13:46.000 This is scary as shit. 1.00

00:13:47.000 Well, they just got outed for all this stuff, man. 0.99

00:13:49.000 Did you hear about all the shots fired on, I can't remember what part of the West, excuse me, the White House?

00:13:54.000 No.

00:13:54.000 There were like seven shots fired into the White House.

00:13:56.000 When was that?

00:13:57.000 The Secret Service didn't know about it for a couple days.

00:13:59.000 What?

00:13:59.000 Yeah.

00:14:00.000 Was it like sniper fire or something?

00:14:02.000 Yeah, someone just popped off a cover.

00:14:04.000 Oh my god.

00:14:04.000 Yeah, and didn't the woman who ran, she just resigned?

00:14:08.000 I mean, it's a whole fucking thing. 0.98

00:14:09.000 And then there was one woman who got shot who was outside in her car, and she did something in her car, remember? 0.99

00:14:15.000 She drove her car onto the lawn.

00:14:18.000 Is that what it was?

00:14:19.000 Weren't we there?

00:14:20.000 What?

00:14:20.000 We were in D.C. We were.

00:14:22.000 We were playing at the 930 Club.

00:14:24.000 I've done that place.

00:14:25.000 Oh, it's so great.

00:14:26.000 That's a great spot.

00:14:27.000 Club that size in the country.

00:14:29.000 It's awesome. 0.96

00:14:30.000 We've got to tell the story just because it's so fucking good. 0.87

00:14:34.000 One of Honey Honey's favorite live show activities is putting spirit animals on our stage. 0.98

00:14:41.000 Preferably like birds of prey.

00:14:43.000 I want to play guitar underneath your story.

00:14:45.000 Yeah, ooh, I like it.

00:14:46.000 I like it, I like it.

00:14:47.000 I'll make it appropriate.

00:14:48.000 So we used to have this mascot who was a ceramic rooster. 0.98

00:14:52.000 It was fucking great. 0.97

00:14:54.000 And we took this rooster everywhere. 0.99

00:14:56.000 It's on our Instagram page.

00:14:58.000 I can show you.

00:14:59.000 A ceramic rooster.

00:15:01.000 How large is this rooster?

00:15:03.000 Rooster size.

00:15:04.000 It's pretty average.

00:15:05.000 Pretty accurate.

00:15:06.000 To scale.

00:15:08.000 How do I show this to you?

00:15:09.000 I'm not really good at this stuff.

00:15:11.000 Anyway...

00:15:13.000 We get to the venue and the rooster gets shattered by one of the employees by accident.

00:15:19.000 And our tour manager at the time, Sam, Sam really had an attachment to this rooster.

00:15:25.000 We heard him upstairs.

00:15:26.000 We were downstairs and we just heard this.

00:15:29.000 No!

00:15:31.000 We're like three balconies up and we knew that he'd gotten the news.

00:15:33.000 But what's so great about 930 Club is that they're a really incredible team.

00:15:39.000 Like the whole establishment, like there's a real family vibe.

00:15:42.000 And one of the employees, incredible illustrative artist, draws up a card. 0.99

00:15:51.000 With this beautiful photo, like, drawing of a rooster with a big tear coming down his face that says, sorry about your cock. 0.99

00:15:57.000 And the whole venue signed it. 0.97

00:15:59.000 All the employees in the venue signed it, and we still have it.

00:16:02.000 And it was just one of the coolest things ever.

00:16:05.000 And, you know, that's actually a legendary venue.

00:16:08.000 Like, the people there are just phenomenal.

00:16:11.000 The sound quality is one of the best sounding rooms we've ever played.

00:16:13.000 It's a great spot.

00:16:14.000 Yeah.

00:16:14.000 I did that place years ago.

00:16:16.000 It's a great spot.

00:16:17.000 It's awesome.

00:16:18.000 We got cupcakes.

00:16:19.000 I'm going to D.C. soon.

00:16:20.000 I'm doing the Warner Theater. 0.99

00:16:21.000 Oh, damn. 0.99

00:16:22.000 On the 18th. 1.00

00:16:24.000 Of this month?

00:16:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:16:25.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:16:26.000 Next weekend. 1.00

00:16:27.000 Are you just touring all the time now?

00:16:28.000 Yeah.

00:16:28.000 What are you doing, man?

00:16:29.000 I'm just telling jokes.

00:16:31.000 I just did my Comedy Central special in Denver in November, so what I'm doing right now is writing new jokes.

00:16:39.000 Hey, thanks.

00:16:39.000 A shitload of new jokes.

00:16:40.000 It's fun.

00:16:41.000 How do you approach that? 1.00

00:16:44.000 You write, and then you take those ideas, and you fuck with them on stage. 0.99

00:16:48.000 You really don't know. 1.00

00:16:49.000 Last night I did a bunch of new shit. 0.99

00:16:51.000 I didn't know where it was going. 0.98

00:16:53.000 But I kind of had ideas where it would probably go, and then there's some things you change when you're in the fly, because you kind of realize on the fly that it'd be better if I said it like this, or it'd make more sense if I said it like that, or I could also say this.

00:17:08.000 Under the pressure of trying to forge the idea on stage, you come up with some...

00:17:13.000 Do you ever like bounce it off of anybody, like a teammate?

00:17:16.000 You just go for it?

00:17:17.000 Yeah, I don't want to do that.

00:17:19.000 Do you iPhone it? 1.00

00:17:20.000 You're just sitting in your car and you come up with shit? 1.00

00:17:22.000 Both. 0.99

00:17:23.000 I iPhone it and I also, a lot of times I iPhone it into print form.

00:17:27.000 I use that thing, that notepad, you know, the notepad you use, the little, press the little microphone, talk into it.

00:17:34.000 It's unbelievable.

00:17:35.000 Have you ever tried it?

00:17:36.000 No, but didn't you have a Droid the last time I saw you?

00:17:38.000 Yeah, I got rid of it. 0.99

00:17:39.000 So you switched that shit up. 0.99

00:17:41.000 No, but then I got a new one, so I have a new Droid. 0.99

00:17:43.000 Whoa, Redman has the massive one.

00:17:44.000 Yeah, he's got the giant iPhone.

00:17:45.000 That's nothing compared to your phone.

00:17:47.000 Don't be intimidated. 0.98

00:17:48.000 I got one of those Galaxy Note 5s, or Galaxy S5s, and I fucking love it. 0.87

00:17:55.000 Yeah, it's great.

00:17:56.000 Joe, can I ask you a writing question?

00:17:58.000 You can ask me anything you want.

00:17:59.000 I don't really know how to put it.

00:18:00.000 Check this out.

00:18:01.000 Watch what I'm talking about. 0.99

00:18:03.000 Honey Honey Band is fucking badass. 0.99

00:18:06.000 Sweet guy. 0.99

00:18:07.000 Watch this.

00:18:08.000 Wow, I love this positive reinforcement. 1.00

00:18:09.000 Honey, honey, band is fucking... 1.00

00:18:11.000 Dude, she listens. 1.00

00:18:12.000 That's amazing, right?

00:18:13.000 Mine doesn't work like that.

00:18:15.000 It worked exactly.

00:18:16.000 I mean, it's got all the words.

00:18:17.000 Jesus.

00:18:18.000 And you just talk into it, and it prints it up.

00:18:20.000 And so, I like doing that when I'm driving, because if I have an idea, I could record it, and maybe that's the way to go sometimes.

00:18:26.000 Don't forget that idea for later.

00:18:28.000 Make sure you save that one.

00:18:29.000 I'm going to make this a sculpture.

00:18:31.000 This should be a sculpture.

00:18:32.000 I don't know what it's going to be. 0.99

00:18:34.000 A dude with his pants off, and a fucking Texas... 1.00

00:18:37.000 Belt buckle. 1.00

00:18:38.000 Did you know that the new Siri now does Shazam?

00:18:40.000 So you could just do that, what song is this?

00:18:43.000 I've never seen Shazam or anything. 1.00

00:18:47.000 Siri, you badass bitch. 1.00

00:18:48.000 That is a large phone, Redman. 1.00

00:18:50.000 Does that even fit in your pocket?

00:18:52.000 He puts it in the front.

00:18:53.000 Is that a large phone in your pocket?

00:18:55.000 A lot of room in the front.

00:18:57.000 A lot of extra room.

00:18:59.000 A lot of extra space.

00:19:00.000 Once you get off that room...

00:19:02.000 Some shrinkage.

00:19:04.000 I had a writing question.

00:19:06.000 Okay.

00:19:06.000 But I don't know.

00:19:07.000 Sorry for being demanding.

00:19:08.000 No. 1.00

00:19:09.000 This is your fucking place. 1.00

00:19:10.000 Look, he's about to go off the rails. 1.00

00:19:12.000 I like it.

00:19:12.000 I like it when you're demanding.

00:19:14.000 I like it.

00:19:14.000 Okay.

00:19:15.000 Well, see, I don't know if this truly applies, but I feel like a lot of people who write stuff, song, comedy, whatever, When you're young, it comes, or maybe not young, there's a certain point, like an initial point where it comes very unconsciously, you know?

00:19:27.000 Just kind of flows out in a sense of like, okay, I'm just expressing myself.

00:19:31.000 And then later on down the road, there's this conscious element that you have to like retrain yourself to do something consciously that you maybe used to do subconsciously.

00:19:39.000 Am I presuming too much?

00:19:41.000 Well, I think with comedy, it might be the exact opposite.

00:19:44.000 Interesting. 1.00

00:19:44.000 Because in comedy, in the beginning, you suck so hard that you're terrified of every stupid fucking word you're writing down. 1.00

00:19:50.000 You have very little confidence in anything that you're thinking. 1.00

00:19:53.000 But then as you get older, you kind of understand what you think is funny about something.

00:19:57.000 And you...

00:19:58.000 It also becomes like a different...

00:20:00.000 So that's more of a conscious act though, right?

00:20:03.000 Sorry to interrupt.

00:20:04.000 Well, not necessarily that it's more of a conscious act, but you understand what you're trying to do now. 0.99

00:20:09.000 Because when you're young, what you're trying to do is you're trying to kick ass. 0.95

00:20:13.000 Like, I'm going to get this joke and it's going to be so awesome. 0.98

00:20:16.000 It's like I was trying to explain to a friend, like, if you made an album, like if you guys decided to make an album, like Honey Honey Band is going to make an album and our goal is to sell the most fucking records of all time.

00:20:26.000 So that's what we're gonna do with this album. 0.99

00:20:27.000 We're gonna make the fucking album that sells more fucking records. 1.00

00:20:31.000 We're gonna make a million dollars or billion million dollars because I want a fucking yacht and I want a jet and a Bentley. 1.00

00:20:38.000 So, if you approached writing your songs, and that's all you were thinking about, it would fuck you up hard. 1.00

00:20:44.000 Yeah. 0.89

00:20:44.000 Like, you would somehow or another lose your connection. 0.89

00:20:47.000 That happened to me when I was an actor.

00:20:49.000 What did you want? 1.00

00:20:51.000 Fucking money. 1.00

00:20:52.000 I wanted to survive. 1.00

00:20:54.000 And I worked for a little while, and I had, like, a good two years.

00:20:58.000 And it was like, once I moved to L.A., I was living in New York, and I moved to L.A., and I stopped working.

00:21:07.000 And then every time I went to an audition, I was just so desperate.

00:21:11.000 I couldn't focus on what was right in front of me.

00:21:13.000 I had to focus on what would happen if I got the job.

00:21:16.000 I think people can smell that.

00:21:17.000 I'm not kidding.

00:21:18.000 Oh, yeah.

00:21:18.000 I was totally desperate.

00:21:20.000 But also, as a side note, that's how I started playing music because I sort of got thrown off course.

00:21:28.000 I was totally lost.

00:21:29.000 I moved to L.A. I didn't have any friends when I got here.

00:21:32.000 I had a boyfriend and we broke up.

00:21:34.000 And yeah, super sad.

00:21:35.000 And then I wrote these terrible sad songs.

00:21:38.000 Stop it.

00:21:40.000 I know. 1.00

00:21:41.000 It's so pathetic. 0.96

00:21:43.000 But it's true, like, you know, that end result, it's totally, you're absolutely right as far as, like, you know, creativity goes. 0.97

00:21:50.000 It's kind of, like, not up to you to...

00:21:51.000 Yeah.

00:21:52.000 I think I like, I really love being friends with guys like you guys because I don't know anything about music.

00:21:58.000 So I get to appreciate it from this like really innocent point of view.

00:22:02.000 Like, ooh, that sounds awesome.

00:22:03.000 Like, I don't know anything about chords. 0.99

00:22:05.000 I don't know how you do shit with your voice. 0.98

00:22:07.000 We don't know anything about chords either. 0.99

00:22:08.000 And that's kind of what I'm talking about.

00:22:11.000 No, in the sense of like, so we get to this point, and this happens to a lot of people who go to conservatories or like really study this shit, is that they have this technical understanding all of a sudden, and now they have to spend the rest of their career figuring out how to forget about that stuff.

00:22:24.000 And just like, how do I come at this like you're talking about?

00:22:28.000 Like someone who doesn't really understand it, coming from an emotional place where you're actually using it for what it's supposed to be used for.

00:22:34.000 Yeah, I think maybe it's just like exercising too much focus in one area.

00:22:39.000 I think it's probably that technical proficiency is probably very important in music, but it's also like nurturing a creative viewpoint, where if you're doing something, let's put it this way, if you're doing something and you're just studying, this is not to knock studying music and practicing,

00:22:56.000 but if you're practicing, say, a very particular song, and you're doing that song over and over and over again, I'm sure you're gaining technical proficiency, but Should there be an equal amount of time where you just explore making your own sounds, using your own lyrics,

00:23:12.000 having your own thoughts, or should you do the classical music version of music, which is consistently performing Bach, Beethoven, songs that have been done.

00:23:22.000 They're in the can already.

00:23:24.000 You're just recreating them.

00:23:25.000 I think it's a little bit of everything.

00:23:27.000 Did you want to say something?

00:23:28.000 It is kind of a little bit of everything, right?

00:23:29.000 You beat me too.

00:23:30.000 You got it.

00:23:30.000 Take the flow.

00:23:31.000 Okay.

00:23:32.000 Well, yeah, it is a little bit of everything because, you know, obviously there's muscle memory when you're playing.

00:23:38.000 So if you're in shape, it's just like working out.

00:23:41.000 I'll do exercises of classical music just to have my chops up.

00:23:47.000 Can you do it for us?

00:23:48.000 Yeah.

00:23:49.000 No.

00:23:50.000 No?

00:23:50.000 No.

00:23:50.000 I'll do some.

00:23:51.000 I mean...

00:23:52.000 No, I was talking about my violin.

00:23:55.000 But you sound great.

00:23:56.000 No, you do your martial arts warm-up.

00:23:58.000 Can you keep going?

00:23:59.000 And we'll do this.

00:24:00.000 Just stretch.

00:24:02.000 Just move around a lot.

00:24:03.000 It's not that impressive.

00:24:06.000 I've just been working on this new piece.

00:24:08.000 Just a warm-up piece.

00:24:09.000 Yeah?

00:24:10.000 It's pretty...

00:24:10.000 It's cool.

00:24:10.000 It's like a...

00:24:11.000 It's got Keith Jarrett.

00:24:13.000 It's very, um, almost Led Zeppelin-like.

00:24:16.000 Well, I... I could see, I could hear like Robert Plant.

00:24:22.000 Babe! 1.00

00:24:25.000 Babe, babe, babe, babe, babe! 0.94

00:24:29.000 I'm gonna leave you.

00:24:32.000 I'm gonna leave parts of you, girl. 1.00

00:24:35.000 And then we were like... 0.99

00:24:37.000 I fucking left! 0.99

00:24:41.000 Oh my god. 0.99

00:24:42.000 We just started a band, dude.

00:24:44.000 This is amazing.

00:24:45.000 I feel it.

00:24:45.000 I feel it, baby.

00:24:46.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:24:47.000 It's inside of me. 1.00

00:24:48.000 From now on, I'm wearing big sunglasses, wigs, large hats.

00:24:51.000 I want attention. 1.00

00:24:52.000 We want to be able to see your dick through your pants. 1.00

00:24:54.000 You can see my dick through my pants no matter what. 1.00

00:24:56.000 Whether you want to or not. 1.00

00:24:58.000 There are no pants big enough.

00:24:59.000 It's angry.

00:25:00.000 It's aggressive.

00:25:01.000 It's on the move.

00:25:02.000 It's angry. 1.00

00:25:03.000 Angry dick. 0.99

00:25:03.000 Constantly pressing the boundaries of cloth. 0.99

00:25:06.000 He's such a sweet guy, but he's got a mean dick. 1.00

00:25:09.000 Everybody look out. 1.00

00:25:10.000 It's a little fucking honey badger on my pants. 1.00

00:25:12.000 It's all mad dick Rogan coming down the street. 1.00

00:25:15.000 It's not even that big. 0.99

00:25:16.000 It's just crazy.

00:25:17.000 Crazy Pete's big, dude!

00:25:19.000 That's the rule!

00:25:20.000 Yeah, but think about it. 0.99

00:25:21.000 If you had, like, a fucking drunk kangaroo or a wild, vicious rat, I'd be more scared of the rat. 0.99

00:25:26.000 You know, the kangaroo's, like, wobbling, didn't look explosive. 0.99

00:25:28.000 I don't know.

00:25:29.000 Well, you could get the plague from a rat. 0.99

00:25:32.000 Rats scare the fuck out of me, man. 0.98

00:25:33.000 Yeah, me too. 0.98

00:25:33.000 We've talked about it on the podcast before. 0.98

00:25:35.000 I had a bad situation with a rat once at a pool hall in New Jersey.

00:25:38.000 Me and my friend John went to this place to play pool, and there was this... 0.99

00:25:41.000 Fucking huge rat. 0.99

00:25:43.000 I'll never forget. 1.00

00:25:44.000 Just big, giant, fucking crazy yellow teeth. 1.00

00:25:48.000 Scared the shit out of me. 1.00

00:25:49.000 All you think about is getting bitten by the rat. 0.98

00:25:52.000 I have a great rat story, and I really want to tell this.

00:25:55.000 This is a good one.

00:25:56.000 So, back in the dizzy...

00:25:58.000 No.

00:25:59.000 Would you ask her to play music?

00:26:01.000 Play music!

00:26:02.000 Come on! 0.61

00:26:02.000 She's not interested. 0.61

00:26:03.000 I like this.

00:26:04.000 Wait, let me, let me, this, well, it's pretty dark, so, like, you know what, whatever moves you.

00:26:08.000 Let me, let me paint this with my tone poems.

00:26:11.000 Dark. 0.73

00:26:11.000 Dark? 0.73

00:26:12.000 We're looking for dark?

00:26:13.000 So, um, I used to work in retail back in the day.

00:26:16.000 Can we name this story?

00:26:17.000 Yeah, let's call it, um...

00:26:19.000 Rats blood.

00:26:20.000 Rats blood.

00:26:21.000 Okay, that's actually really loud.

00:26:23.000 Rats blood.

00:26:24.000 Oh, okay, I'll stop. 0.89

00:26:25.000 I'm sorry.

00:26:25.000 Suzanne Santo.

00:26:27.000 Rats blood.

00:26:28.000 Rats blood.

00:26:29.000 So, I was working in retail, and it was a horrible job. 0.94

00:26:31.000 It was, like, totally degrading as a human, and all you would do was fold clothes all day, and it was really expensive, and these... 0.94

00:26:39.000 People would come in and spend ridiculous amounts of money on clothes and they were just shitty and mean and rude and rich, whatever. 0.90

00:26:46.000 Not that that all constitutes, but it was just an unpleasant experience. 0.97

00:26:49.000 Right. 0.98

00:26:50.000 And from whether it was a customer or the staff, my employers were just not kind and they didn't give a shit about you. 0.94

00:26:59.000 I knew I was kind of walking on thin ice because I wasn't enthusiastic about being there. 0.94

00:27:04.000 It was just a job.

00:27:06.000 And one day before the biggest sale of the year where people, like ladies, freak out. 0.85

00:27:14.000 I came into the store and that weekend there had been like, there had been indications and evidence that there were rodents because, and I, you know what, I knew it were rats because I could smell them, I swear to God.

00:27:24.000 I was like, I could smell, literally when someone says I can smell a rat, there's a musty smell to them. 0.99

00:27:29.000 You can fucking smell them. 0.99

00:27:31.000 I never saw that. 0.99

00:27:31.000 Oh, it's totally, because my first house in LA, I moved into off of a Craigslist ad had rats and I knew, I was like, that smell, I know that smell. 0.99

00:27:39.000 That was from my old house.

00:27:41.000 That's a rat.

00:27:42.000 So, long story short, The exterminators come in and set traps the night before, so Saturday morning when this big sale starts, all the girls were like, oh my god, do you think they caught something?

00:27:54.000 I don't know.

00:27:55.000 We walk into the store and there's one dead rat upstairs, there's one in the trap downstairs, another one downstairs, and then there was another, there was a trap that had been deployed And there was a big,

00:28:11.000 large piece of a tail.

00:28:13.000 And blood.

00:28:14.000 I'm talking blood all over the clothes, all over the wall, but no rat.

00:28:19.000 And one of the girls had walked into the front of the store. 1.00

00:28:24.000 And also, you should know, there was a line forming outside of people that wanted to get in to get this end of the year sale.

00:28:31.000 One of the girls walks in. 1.00

00:28:33.000 She goes, oh, what's that?

00:28:34.000 And it was the size of a cat.

00:28:35.000 And it was the rat that got out of the trap, that like lost its tail, was in the middle of the store, bleeding, and it was like this big.

00:28:45.000 Everybody's freaking out.

00:28:46.000 One of the girls was ballsy enough to throw a trash can over it. 1.00

00:28:49.000 So it's like...

00:28:49.000 It's like screaming.

00:28:52.000 At this point, it is time to open the store.

00:28:59.000 People are knocking on the window.

00:29:01.000 We were able to create a diversion and put some clothes racks so you couldn't see the trash can.

00:29:07.000 You let people in while there was a rat in the trash can?

00:29:09.000 From the window.

00:29:11.000 Nobody was let in.

00:29:12.000 It was screaming.

00:29:15.000 We called the exterminator.

00:29:19.000 Oh, it gets so much better.

00:29:20.000 The exterminator comes back. 0.99

00:29:21.000 We're like, dude, there's a fucking live rat in the store. 0.99

00:29:24.000 We can't open the doors. 0.99

00:29:25.000 We have a sale.

00:29:26.000 There's a line around the block.

00:29:28.000 Everybody's on the phone.

00:29:29.000 Everybody's freaking out.

00:29:31.000 The exterminator shows up.

00:29:33.000 And he walks in.

00:29:35.000 He's like, oh, yeah, that's a problem.

00:29:37.000 And he's like, well, I don't have my pellet gun.

00:29:40.000 And the next thing I know, he walks out to his truck, and he comes back with a 2x4.

00:29:44.000 And he's like, you ladies might want to step back. 0.99

00:29:48.000 Kicks the trash can open and just fucking splat. 0.99

00:29:52.000 It was so awful. 1.00

00:29:55.000 It was like watching him fucking blow up a watermelon in the middle of the store. 0.99

00:30:02.000 So then, oh, it gets so much better. 0.99

00:30:05.000 So after he kills the rat, and it's like guts and entrails are all over the place, the store manager is like, ladies, we need to clean this up and open this door. 0.99

00:30:14.000 I was like, are you fucking serious?

00:30:16.000 So they're like, buckets of bleach and whatever clothing has the blood on it, just take it out. 0.98

00:30:21.000 We'll cancel it out later.

00:30:23.000 So we're cleaning.

00:30:24.000 We're running around.

00:30:26.000 And I'm not kidding you.

00:30:28.000 The door's open.

00:30:30.000 Five minutes.

00:30:31.000 And the manager, who's my age, calls me upstairs and she's like, Suzanne, can I have a word with you?

00:30:37.000 And I'm like, yeah, yeah, sure, whatever.

00:30:38.000 Go upstairs. 0.99

00:30:40.000 And I get fucking fired. 0.99

00:30:42.000 She was like, look, you know, we've been wanting to talk to you about, you know, your performance here. 0.99

00:30:47.000 And like, I don't feel...

00:30:47.000 I know that you want to be a musician.

00:30:49.000 She said, want to be. 1.00

00:30:49.000 And I was like, fucking cunt. 1.00

00:30:51.000 I am a musician, goddammit. 1.00

00:30:53.000 But anyway, I was like... 0.97

00:30:55.000 You couldn't fire me before you made me clean up the rat's blood?

00:30:58.000 I had to clean up the blood and then get fired? 1.00

00:31:01.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 1.00

00:31:03.000 Like, it was one of those moments where I literally, I lost my shit. 1.00

00:31:05.000 And then she was like, well, you can stay for the rest of the day if you want. 0.99

00:31:08.000 I was like, you think I want to stay here? 0.99

00:31:10.000 And look at you, I hate you! 0.99

00:31:13.000 It was horrible. 0.98

00:31:14.000 But it's such a good story.

00:31:18.000 So, going through it was all worth it at the time.

00:31:22.000 Well, it was just, I'd never, like, I'd never experienced, like, any, it's such a fantastical story.

00:31:28.000 That's a very good story.

00:31:30.000 It's crazy.

00:31:30.000 Isn't it funny how a story that is absolutely horrible at the time becomes awesome?

00:31:36.000 Oh, yeah.

00:31:36.000 Those are the good ones.

00:31:37.000 It was a low point, though, because it was so insulting.

00:31:40.000 When someone just degrades you like that, she said, I know you're trying to be a musician, but your heart's not in it.

00:31:47.000 And I was like, of course.

00:31:48.000 Your heart's not in solid pants.

00:31:50.000 Yeah, I don't want to solid pants. 0.96

00:31:51.000 And cleaning up rat innards. 0.88

00:31:52.000 Exactly. 0.93

00:31:53.000 You're right. 1.00

00:31:54.000 Smashing fucking rats with two by fours. 1.00

00:31:56.000 I don't care about your sweaters. 1.00

00:31:59.000 You need to examine your priorities.

00:32:01.000 My friend Steve Rinell was explaining this to me this weekend about struggle.

00:32:06.000 And it's a very important, interesting point.

00:32:09.000 And he was talking about working, like, struggling really hard, doing something that sucks, is not fun at the time.

00:32:15.000 But it's fun later on for a long time.

00:32:18.000 Whereas something that comes really easy, like fun, like rollercoaster riding...

00:32:23.000 It's fun at the time, but after it's over, has no fun attached to it anymore.

00:32:29.000 I was like, whoa, that is crazy.

00:32:31.000 If you think about it that way, there's fun stored up in chaotic experiences.

00:32:34.000 I don't know, he's obviously never been rollercoaster high.

00:32:37.000 Yeah, but even if you have, it's still 30 seconds.

00:32:40.000 Whoa, we did it, it was crazy! 0.99

00:32:41.000 And then you kind of tell it, but you just told a fucking harrowing story of a rat trapped in Under a trash can shrieking while a bunch of chicks are banging on the window trying to save some money. 1.00

00:32:52.000 And it's like this fucking rat's... 1.00

00:32:54.000 And the guy comes in and smashes it. 1.00

00:32:56.000 That is a great fucking story. 1.00

00:32:58.000 That at the time, you must have been like, fuck this job. 1.00

00:33:00.000 And you fucking fired me, you fucking cunt. 1.00

00:33:02.000 Oh, that day. 1.00

00:33:03.000 Like, immediately afterwards.

00:33:04.000 Yeah.

00:33:05.000 But look how great it is now.

00:33:06.000 It's like there's been...

00:33:07.000 There's like energy stored up in that moment that's come through in a big way.

00:33:14.000 I think witnessing amazing, crazy, like, acts of nature like that in any respect, I'm sure you've seen crazy things out in the wilderness, you know?

00:33:22.000 It's just like, oh my god.

00:33:23.000 Well, I've been talking about this, like, the last few days I've been really happy.

00:33:27.000 Like, I'm always pretty happy.

00:33:29.000 That's great. 0.99

00:33:29.000 But really fucking happy because I'm not in the fucking rainforest in Prince Edward's Prince of Wales Island. 0.99

00:33:37.000 In Alaska, sleeping in a wet tent. 0.99

00:33:40.000 And I'm like, dude, the houses are awesome! 1.00

00:33:42.000 Electricity is the shit. 1.00

00:33:43.000 Were your socks wet? 1.00

00:33:44.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

00:33:45.000 Everything was wet. 1.00

00:33:46.000 My sleeping bag was wet.

00:33:47.000 My clothes were wet.

00:33:48.000 I turned my light on.

00:33:49.000 I had a miner's light on, one of those little things that you put on a little headband.

00:33:53.000 It sits over the forehead, like a third eye.

00:33:56.000 Your enlightenment eye.

00:33:57.000 I turned this thing on in my tent, and I just saw, like it was raining dew drops.

00:34:04.000 Literally, everywhere you looked, the entire air, all the air was filled with moisture.

00:34:09.000 Nothing stays dry.

00:34:10.000 What were you eating?

00:34:11.000 It's impossible.

00:34:12.000 We just ate freeze-dried foods.

00:34:14.000 We were drinking right out of the lake.

00:34:16.000 How long were you there?

00:34:16.000 Five days.

00:34:17.000 We were drinking right out of the lake. 1.00

00:34:19.000 Did you have giardia filters and shit? 0.99

00:34:22.000 There's no giardia because there's no beavers up that high. 0.99

00:34:25.000 Not only that, it's a lake that's made entirely of rainwater.

00:34:28.000 It's not fed by a river or anything.

00:34:30.000 What did it taste like?

00:34:30.000 It just rains so much.

00:34:31.000 It's just pure rainwater.

00:34:33.000 Wow.

00:34:33.000 What?

00:34:34.000 Yes.

00:34:34.000 So there's no tributaries or anything?

00:34:36.000 Nothing.

00:34:36.000 It's 160 inches of rain a year.

00:34:39.000 It's the rainiest spot in North America.

00:34:40.000 So you just dip your canteen and drink it.

00:34:42.000 With everything huge?

00:34:43.000 Oh my god.

00:34:44.000 I'll show you some pictures after the podcast's over.

00:34:47.000 It's amazing.

00:34:48.000 It's so humbling, but...

00:34:50.000 Beautiful, amazing, solitary, really wild, but when you get back home, you feel great.

00:34:56.000 I think that's the balance.

00:34:58.000 I don't think the balance is living by yourself.

00:35:01.000 I don't think the balance is going all Ted Kaczynski.

00:35:03.000 I think the balance is going out to nature.

00:35:07.000 I'm going out on a limb.

00:35:10.000 But I think the balance is going out into nature and being around people.

00:35:14.000 It's like both.

00:35:15.000 Definitely.

00:35:16.000 It's like both.

00:35:16.000 Like a nice...

00:35:17.000 Well, we need to exchange that energy, whether it's like physical contact or just, you know, attention.

00:35:25.000 Well, it's perspective and seeing the stars.

00:35:27.000 That's a huge one.

00:35:28.000 Huge.

00:35:29.000 Giant.

00:35:29.000 You know, we just got to go to Hawaii fairly recently.

00:35:32.000 And you look up at the stars...

00:35:34.000 Did you go to the Keck Observatory?

00:35:36.000 No, we didn't.

00:35:36.000 You gotta go.

00:35:37.000 Where is it?

00:35:39.000 It's in Hawaii.

00:35:40.000 It's on the Big Island.

00:35:41.000 Oh, that's where we were. 1.00

00:35:42.000 Shit. 1.00

00:35:42.000 Maybe we'll go back there. 1.00

00:35:43.000 I'm scheduling my next trip.

00:35:45.000 I'm going to make sure if I go there, that I go there when there's no moon out. 0.94

00:35:49.000 Because the last time I went, it was fucking amazing. 0.54

00:35:51.000 But the moon was out. 0.96

00:35:52.000 So you don't see anything but the moon and a few stars.

00:35:54.000 But the time before I went, it was all stars.

00:35:57.000 It was no moon.

00:35:58.000 It's insane.

00:35:59.000 You can't believe...

00:36:00.000 You almost get angry that you can't see that every day.

00:36:03.000 Everybody should see it on a regular basis.

00:36:05.000 If you can't do it every night, it should happen regularly, weekly, monthly, whatever.

00:36:09.000 Because it just sets you back to the point of understanding what is actually going on, where you are.

00:36:14.000 Yeah.

00:36:14.000 You know what I mean?

00:36:15.000 Yeah.

00:36:15.000 Yeah, I think we're blocked off.

00:36:16.000 We're in a car with, like, super tinted windows.

00:36:19.000 Yeah.

00:36:19.000 We look so cool.

00:36:20.000 We can't see.

00:36:21.000 We're obviously successful.

00:36:22.000 It's dark out. 0.99

00:36:23.000 We can't see shit. 0.99

00:36:24.000 What is that? 0.99

00:36:25.000 We're obviously successful or being abducted.

00:36:27.000 It's one or the other.

00:36:29.000 Maybe porn being filmed in the next.

00:36:31.000 One or the other.

00:36:34.000 But when we're flying around through the galaxy and we don't realize it, we can get cocky.

00:36:39.000 But when you're standing on that Keck Observatory and you're looking up and you see the very defined Milky Way galaxy, it's so crazy.

00:36:49.000 You're literally on some sort of a spaceship with no roof, and you're flying through the galaxy.

00:36:57.000 That's what it feels like.

00:36:58.000 It's everything.

00:36:59.000 You just feel so small. 0.98

00:37:01.000 It's like, wow, this is fucking huge. 0.98

00:37:02.000 It's such a great feeling of small. 0.99

00:37:04.000 Yes.

00:37:05.000 Because it's not really that you feel small.

00:37:07.000 It's that you realize the enormity of it.

00:37:10.000 Yeah.

00:37:11.000 Everything.

00:37:12.000 The whole package.

00:37:13.000 It's not even that you feel small.

00:37:14.000 It's just like it's humbling. 0.99

00:37:16.000 And I think that's one of the reasons why people are so goddamn cocky. 0.99

00:37:19.000 I think we fucked up by making lights everywhere at night. 0.99

00:37:23.000 You know what? 0.99

00:37:25.000 No, I think it's what you said.

00:37:26.000 It's a balance.

00:37:27.000 It's like people need to remember to get away and reflect and be out.

00:37:31.000 Shut it down. 1.00

00:37:33.000 Turn the fucking phone off. 1.00

00:37:34.000 Don't look at your Facebook page. 1.00

00:37:36.000 Go be outside.

00:37:37.000 Just take it in.

00:37:38.000 I kind of felt like that when I spent a summer surfing.

00:37:41.000 I'm not a good surfer, but I used to live by the beach and I diligently would go with a friend of mine who was teaching me how to surf and I had so many moments where I was getting tossed around and where I was scared.

00:37:57.000 And you just feel like, this is the ocean.

00:38:00.000 This is huge.

00:38:02.000 This is so much bigger than me.

00:38:05.000 And I had so much respect for Great Mother Nature.

00:38:11.000 I really did.

00:38:12.000 I would have these moments where I would get up at 6 in the morning with my friend and go surfing and then have this awareness for the rest of my day. 0.95

00:38:19.000 It's pretty fucking cool.

00:38:21.000 I would imagine that the people that surf frequently, that's their hobby, have a real essence about them. 0.92

00:38:30.000 This is definitely a spiritual connection.

00:38:32.000 Totally.

00:38:33.000 It was in alignment with this energy that's so much more powerful than you when you're riding that wave.

00:38:38.000 Even people that just, like, go to the beach every day.

00:38:41.000 Yeah.

00:38:41.000 Or all the time.

00:38:42.000 Like, that's one of the reasons my beach towns are so chill.

00:38:45.000 Isn't something about the salt alkalizing or something?

00:38:48.000 It's probably really good for you.

00:38:50.000 Yeah, it's very cleansing.

00:38:51.000 I would imagine.

00:38:52.000 If you go by Santa Monica and you watch the waves, you'll see the mist.

00:38:56.000 You can see the mist.

00:38:57.000 People are breathing that. 0.99

00:38:58.000 And the air is clean as shit. 1.00

00:39:01.000 There's a fucking hundred million cars and the air is clean there because it's all coming off the ocean. 1.00

00:39:05.000 It's just a totally different sort of vibe. 0.98

00:39:06.000 It's a totally different life.

00:39:09.000 Why aren't we living by the beach, guys?

00:39:10.000 So we had both of those.

00:39:11.000 Let's live our dreams.

00:39:12.000 The beach and the stars.

00:39:13.000 But the stars. 1.00

00:39:14.000 I think of the motherfucker of all motherfuckers. 1.00

00:39:16.000 It's like the beach. 1.00

00:39:17.000 And the forest, too, though. 1.00

00:39:18.000 Forest is a motherfucker. 1.00

00:39:19.000 That's big. 1.00

00:39:20.000 Are you talking about Hawaii still?

00:39:22.000 Well, everywhere.

00:39:23.000 I mean, Hawaii is amazing, too.

00:39:25.000 I was in Hilo.

00:39:26.000 I went through Hilo, and you drove up by the mountain.

00:39:29.000 Wait, is that the canyon?

00:39:30.000 No, Hilo is just one of the cities in Hawaii.

00:39:33.000 Are you thinking about Kona?

00:39:34.000 No, it's not Kona.

00:39:35.000 It's on the Big Island.

00:39:36.000 Waipu.

00:39:36.000 We were talking about Waipu.

00:39:38.000 We were there.

00:39:38.000 There was this...

00:39:39.000 Canyon.

00:39:40.000 Is that what...

00:39:41.000 By the waterfall?

00:39:42.000 Yeah.

00:39:43.000 There was this literally thousand foot waterfall running right off the northwest coast of the island, I think.

00:39:49.000 Of the Big Island?

00:39:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:39:50.000 Wow.

00:39:51.000 It looked like Jurassic Park.

00:39:52.000 It was legitimately like...

00:39:54.000 Didn't they film that there?

00:39:55.000 Probably.

00:39:56.000 I would imagine they did.

00:39:57.000 Did they?

00:39:57.000 I think they did on Oahu.

00:39:59.000 They did Lost.

00:40:00.000 Yeah, they filmed Lost there.

00:40:01.000 Oh, okay.

00:40:02.000 It was so amazing.

00:40:03.000 We went in July with some really good friends of ours, and I've personally never been anywhere tropical, so that was my first time.

00:40:11.000 Hawaii was your first tropical trip?

00:40:12.000 Yeah, like two months ago.

00:40:14.000 It's the best one.

00:40:15.000 But it's such a crazy one, too, because it's not just tropical.

00:40:17.000 You know, there's the rainforest, there's like the volcanic fields. 0.98

00:40:20.000 The people are cool as shit. 0.97

00:40:22.000 I love Hawaiian people. 0.99

00:40:24.000 You know, people always say, like, you'll hear that, like, Hawaiians are, like, negative towards white people, you know, or negative towards mainlanders, but I just think there's too many of us that are douchebags. 0.57

00:40:33.000 I think that's what it is. 1.00

00:40:34.000 We come over there and, like, you know how much my fucking airplane ticket costs to get over here to your fucking stupid island, man? 1.00

00:40:41.000 And these people are thinking, my ancestors came over here in a fucking canoe, bitch. 1.00

00:40:47.000 They're tough people. 1.00

00:40:48.000 We met this guy named Kavika.

00:40:53.000 We were staying in a place that was literally right on the beach so we could walk out 20 yards and be snorkeling.

00:40:59.000 And he was just instructing us about the wildlife.

00:41:04.000 Don't touch that.

00:41:06.000 We learned a little too late, though.

00:41:07.000 He got...

00:41:08.000 Well, we learned in a way that he would have just shrugged off, you know, he just brushed it off his shoulder.

00:41:14.000 This dude got an urchin or some sort of spine.

00:41:16.000 They're like the spider urchin, the black spiky ones.

00:41:19.000 I got one of those in my foot.

00:41:20.000 Me too, man.

00:41:21.000 This dude had it impaled through his wrist.

00:41:24.000 Whoa.

00:41:24.000 And you can't take it out.

00:41:25.000 It's too brittle.

00:41:26.000 He had it in his wrist for a year.

00:41:28.000 It just happens and it slowly disintegrates.

00:41:29.000 Before your body pushes it out, yeah.

00:41:30.000 You know?

00:41:30.000 It's like, okay, that's...

00:41:32.000 Whoa.

00:41:32.000 And like, we both had...

00:41:33.000 You had one on your thumb.

00:41:34.000 Yeah.

00:41:35.000 And I had one on my foot.

00:41:36.000 And like, I felt it for like three months.

00:41:38.000 You know?

00:41:39.000 Like, it was...

00:41:39.000 I'd have these moments where I'm like, ah!

00:41:40.000 You know, I went for a jog or whatever. 0.99

00:41:42.000 And I'm like, my fucking pinky toe. 0.99

00:41:44.000 It's all... 0.99

00:41:44.000 It's all swollen! 0.99

00:41:46.000 But it's a great reminder, too.

00:41:47.000 It's just like, that's like the stars.

00:41:49.000 I honestly think so. 0.98

00:41:50.000 When you have that kind of interaction with nature, and it's still there, and you think, fuck, that hurts, but it's because I did this. 1.00

00:41:54.000 It's because I was in that environment, and I need to be exposed to that shit. 0.99

00:41:58.000 Well, you gotta get some of them scuba shoes, girl. 1.00

00:42:00.000 Well, I had them on, and it was just that one little spot where you could get right through it.

00:42:04.000 But, you know, it's okay.

00:42:06.000 I'm over it. 0.96

00:42:06.000 I was totally barefoot, like a retard. 0.96

00:42:08.000 Oh, Jesus. 0.97

00:42:09.000 With a four-year-old.

00:42:10.000 Did you step on it?

00:42:10.000 Yeah, I stepped on it.

00:42:11.000 Oh, my God. 0.99

00:42:12.000 But the guys at the hotel, they knew some shit, and they had some sort of vinegar solution, and they put it on it. 0.99

00:42:18.000 I put it on it for like 20 minutes, and it was pretty good. 0.99

00:42:21.000 I worked out that night, and it felt better.

00:42:23.000 I felt like if I worked out on it, too, I'd kind of smash it all up, whatever's in there, and it would slowly make its way out.

00:42:29.000 Well, and they make it, urchins make it really clear. 0.80

00:42:32.000 They're not like, surprise, I got you. 1.00

00:42:33.000 They're like, I'm a spiky fucking thing. 0.99

00:42:36.000 Don't touch me. 0.99

00:42:37.000 Well, before I kicked it, I saw it and I reached for it and then I was like, Suzanne, maybe don't do that. 1.00

00:42:42.000 And I was going to pick one up like a fucking idiot. 1.00

00:42:45.000 How would you do that? 1.00

00:42:46.000 Because I was fascinated.

00:42:47.000 I've never been anywhere tropical.

00:42:49.000 I know, but it's like you see like a rusty blade and you're like, I've never seen one of those.

00:42:52.000 Let me pick that up in my tongue.

00:42:54.000 I wonder what it tastes like.

00:42:57.000 You know what was amazing, though?

00:42:58.000 The sea turtles.

00:42:59.000 Oh, yeah.

00:43:00.000 They look like angels.

00:43:02.000 I swear to God, they looked into my soul.

00:43:04.000 They were just right there.

00:43:07.000 Do you guys want to drink more of that whiskey?

00:43:09.000 Yeah, I'll have some more.

00:43:10.000 I'm a big fan of all those animals.

00:43:13.000 We went swimming with dolphins, which was amazing.

00:43:15.000 I had my four-year-old with me in the water.

00:43:18.000 I was holding on to her, and she's snorkeling with me.

00:43:20.000 Oh my god. 0.99

00:43:21.000 I want to expose her to as much crazy shit early so it seems normal to her. 0.99

00:43:27.000 I've already started teaching her martial arts. 0.99

00:43:29.000 Really?

00:43:30.000 Oh my god.

00:43:31.000 And the six year old is pretty good.

00:43:34.000 They probably take to that stuff really naturally.

00:43:36.000 I think there's certain aspects of certain movement that are just normal and natural for people if you teach them how to do it.

00:43:42.000 But I think there's also learned experience and DNA. But anyway, the point is, she wasn't scared of going in the ocean and being with the dolphins.

00:43:48.000 She didn't know any better.

00:43:49.000 She's four.

00:43:50.000 If I waited until she was nine and I said it, she might go, what?

00:43:53.000 What if there's a shark?

00:43:55.000 But she's four.

00:43:56.000 I'm like, it'll be fine.

00:43:57.000 She's like, okay.

00:43:59.000 We're in there swimming around.

00:44:00.000 I was on Kauai.

00:44:01.000 I've been to Kauai twice, the time that we were talking about, and one other time I was on Kauai, and I saw a family, and we were on a dock, and the dock was probably 10 feet off the water, right? 0.99

00:44:12.000 And there's a bunch of family members in the water, and then a dude dangling a little kid off the side, and the kid's like, ah, fuck! 0.97

00:44:18.000 And then they just drop it. 0.99

00:44:19.000 Sploosh!

00:44:20.000 Oh my god.

00:44:20.000 And then they save it and it's fine.

00:44:22.000 But that's how they get used to it.

00:44:25.000 I don't know if I'm into that.

00:44:26.000 Either you're traumatized or you're Michael Phelps.

00:44:30.000 I don't think it works that way.

00:44:32.000 I think it might.

00:44:33.000 Ben, is that how Michael Phelps learned to swim?

00:44:35.000 I don't think so.

00:44:35.000 Why would you ask me like I know that?

00:44:36.000 Well, because you just referenced him.

00:44:39.000 No, but the point is that I think that could...

00:44:41.000 Yeah, you have no data to back up your claims that I can create a Michael Phelps.

00:44:44.000 Hold on.

00:44:45.000 I was taking a little poetic license.

00:44:49.000 Did you hear Michael Phelps got a second DUI? I saw that.

00:44:52.000 Give that man his weed back. 1.00

00:44:53.000 He likes to party.

00:44:55.000 Give him his weed back.

00:44:56.000 You're testing him for weed all the time.

00:44:57.000 That's the problem.

00:44:58.000 No wonder why he's drunk.

00:44:59.000 Yeah, we are.

00:45:00.000 We got plenty more where that comes from. 1.00

00:45:02.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:45:03.000 Plenty more. 1.00

00:45:04.000 Just to defend my Michael Phelps statement one more time.

00:45:06.000 We were talking earlier.

00:45:07.000 Jesus.

00:45:07.000 Shitty stories.

00:45:09.000 Hold on, I'm not ready.

00:45:11.000 I'm on deck.

00:45:13.000 Ben is slow with the cheers.

00:45:15.000 I'm really sorry for serving you guys your drink so slow. 0.99

00:45:19.000 Damn, he turns it around on us. 0.98

00:45:21.000 Ben, I'm supposed to drive tonight and you just poured me a bucket of whiskey. 0.99

00:45:24.000 Would I ever say no to you?

00:45:26.000 We have a car service.

00:45:27.000 Can you call it Uber?

00:45:28.000 No, no, we have a real car service.

00:45:30.000 It's on staff.

00:45:31.000 Did you hear about the Uber driver who hit the guy in the face with a hammer?

00:45:36.000 Hit the guy in the back seat?

00:45:37.000 The passenger with a hammer?

00:45:39.000 I thought they were in the front seat.

00:45:40.000 I don't know.

00:45:40.000 Oh my god.

00:45:41.000 The passenger.

00:45:42.000 And I'm sure these stories are going to just keep coming out, but first kind of uber freak out that I'd heard of. 0.99

00:45:47.000 God damn it. 1.00

00:45:48.000 I was like, yeah, okay, this shit actually is unregulated. 1.00

00:45:50.000 Maybe the guy who was in his seat was like really bad. 1.00

00:45:52.000 He could have been a dick. 0.99

00:45:53.000 What's he doing with a hammer in his car? 1.00

00:45:55.000 Brian, am I crazy?

00:45:56.000 You know what I'm talking about? 1.00

00:45:56.000 Maybe the guy was trying to bite his dick. 1.00

00:45:58.000 Uber hammer attack may clarify firm's responsibilities. 1.00

00:46:01.000 Wow. 1.00

00:46:02.000 Damn. 0.99

00:46:03.000 Well, they've definitely been... 0.99

00:46:03.000 Is that the guy who got hit with a hammer? 0.99

00:46:05.000 Wow!

00:46:05.000 Oh, yeah, look at him.

00:46:06.000 Oh, my God.

00:46:08.000 You know, for getting hit with a hammer, he doesn't look too bad.

00:46:10.000 But, you know what?

00:46:10.000 Can I tell you something?

00:46:11.000 I felt...

00:46:12.000 I don't know.

00:46:13.000 They've been expanding at a pretty miraculous rate.

00:46:16.000 Like, Uber and Lyft are just growing and growing, like, more and more.

00:46:19.000 So, if you're getting, you know, a higher volume of employees coming in, you're going to get a crazy in there.

00:46:26.000 Every now and again, right?

00:46:27.000 Good point.

00:46:27.000 Rational, Suzanne.

00:46:28.000 Proper rational, Suzanne.

00:46:30.000 Ask me another one.

00:46:31.000 I feel ready.

00:46:32.000 What can we do about peace in the Middle East, Suzanne?

00:46:35.000 Pass.

00:46:38.000 Smart move.

00:46:39.000 Know what you know.

00:46:40.000 Thank God.

00:46:41.000 Know that you don't know what you don't know. 0.99

00:46:42.000 Well, that's what every fucking person on Earth should say. 0.99

00:46:45.000 You know what? 0.97

00:46:46.000 I don't feel equipped or comfortable to get into that conversation, but I did tell you, you know, I'm reading a lot of Chomsky lately, and it's such an argumentative subject that, like, I'd rather just talk about, you know...

00:46:58.000 Rats being killed.

00:46:59.000 The wilderness and rats.

00:47:00.000 And retail stores.

00:47:01.000 Good call. 0.99

00:47:02.000 Because it's, you know what, like, but also I feel like a fucking pansy at the same time. 0.98

00:47:05.000 I was thinking about this this morning. 0.88

00:47:07.000 Like, what do you stand for?

00:47:09.000 Like, do you sit on the sidelines and let it, you know, like, you have your relationship with it and you let it sort of transpire the way it's going to or...

00:47:18.000 But there's already too many players on the field.

00:47:20.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:47:20.000 I agree.

00:47:21.000 There's already 15 a side and they don't need more people being like... 0.97

00:47:25.000 But without tooting our fucking horn here, Ben, we have a platform that is continuing to grow and I'm not saying that that's not... 0.98

00:47:36.000 What we're here for. 0.99

00:47:37.000 We're here to play music and spread love and be what we are.

00:47:44.000 But at the same time, we also have an opportunity to, if there's something really important that we believe in, to talk about it.

00:47:52.000 Now, I'm not saying I want to talk about peace in the Middle East because, again, I don't feel qualified for that. 0.86

00:47:57.000 But I had this reckoning this morning where I was like, what are you going to do, Suzanne?

00:48:02.000 How are you going to handle this kind of energy if that's the right thing to do?

00:48:08.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:48:09.000 I'm kind of babbling.

00:48:10.000 No, no, no, you're not.

00:48:12.000 It's that angst of not really being able to fix some of the primary concerns of our culture.

00:48:17.000 Well, it's like doing our part.

00:48:19.000 I think you just had the perfect answer, which is we don't know. 0.98

00:48:22.000 And it doesn't help the situation to just introduce energy into it, to be like, ah, that's fucked up. 0.99

00:48:28.000 It's like, yeah, we all know it's fucked up. 0.96

00:48:30.000 I think there's people that are compelled to fix the system. 0.98

00:48:32.000 There's people that are compelled to point out the flaws in the system.

00:48:35.000 There's people that are compelled to inspire others.

00:48:38.000 Maybe that's where you guys are.

00:48:40.000 You might inspire others with your words or your music or your combination of your talent and your points of view might influence people's ideas.

00:48:48.000 In turn, that sets.

00:48:50.000 I think whenever someone who makes a lot of sense or someone who speaks in a way that makes you realign your perceptions of the world, when they communicate with folks and they put something in their head, those people may spread those ideas out and add to them and it goes further and further and further.

00:49:10.000 And then eventually, all of that influences the culture in a more positive way.

00:49:14.000 Yeah.

00:49:16.000 Most protests, or most, I mean, there's very few, like, really, like, angry, violent reactions.

00:49:25.000 What they do is they cause people to become defensive, they cause people to re-examine the situation, but what causes people to really change themselves?

00:49:33.000 It's almost always inspiration.

00:49:35.000 It's almost always wanting to be inspired. 1.00

00:49:37.000 Like, if you see someone, like, have you ever gone to see, like, someone perform live, and you just go, fuck! 0.99

00:49:42.000 And you just want to go home and play, and you just want to go home and practice, right? 0.99

00:49:46.000 Like, that fuel.

00:49:47.000 You know, like, sometimes you'll go see a movie, and it's just, it's so good, you just want to go to the gym, you know?

00:49:53.000 You know what I mean?

00:49:54.000 Like, sometimes these things happen.

00:49:56.000 You know what I'm talking about?

00:49:57.000 Absolutely. 0.99

00:49:58.000 Sometimes you're in your car, and a fucking song comes on, and it just changes your state, you know? 0.98

00:50:03.000 You just, all of a sudden, you just feet, you get that feeling washes over you. 1.00

00:50:07.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

00:50:08.000 You know? 1.00

00:50:10.000 Those things...

00:50:11.000 For you and you, Ben and Suzanne, for you guys, this is your avenue.

00:50:17.000 This is your avenue for change.

00:50:19.000 You just really set me in.

00:50:20.000 Honestly, I've been thinking about this a lot.

00:50:23.000 I really appreciate that.

00:50:25.000 Everybody doesn't need to try to fix the world.

00:50:28.000 Everybody can't fix the world.

00:50:29.000 We were talking about this on the drive over here a little bit.

00:50:33.000 It's not about fixing the world.

00:50:34.000 It's just about making sure that I'm...

00:50:36.000 I don't want to say doing what I'm supposed to do.

00:50:40.000 Doing your part?

00:50:41.000 Not sitting out when I... But I think the point of what he's saying is by following through on something you're passionate about, that is the best thing you can do because it creates those environments for other people.

00:50:58.000 And having opinions.

00:51:00.000 Yeah.

00:51:00.000 And expressing yourself once you've established...

00:51:03.000 Like what you guys are doing, you're establishing your music, establishing your art, and then you have opinions.

00:51:09.000 And then people go, God, those guys seem so cool and they make sense.

00:51:12.000 That doesn't make sense.

00:51:13.000 Not all the time.

00:51:14.000 You know what's crazy, though?

00:51:15.000 To me.

00:51:16.000 I was...

00:51:18.000 I've become more and more comfortable with opinions changing, and my own opinions changing, because I think I've actually been, which I didn't understand it as this, but it's a conservative mindset to be like, no, this is my opinion, I'm sticking to it.

00:51:29.000 I've been reading this Dylan book, and that's the reason I'm bringing it up.

00:51:34.000 It's fascinating, because I'm reading all these interviews with him throughout his career, and I just got to 1980, right? 0.97

00:51:39.000 And this is him, like, counterculture figure, like, fuck you guys, I'm talking about what I want to do. 0.98

00:51:46.000 In 1980, he's a born-again Christian. 0.99

00:51:49.000 Legitimately.

00:51:49.000 I didn't know that until the drive over here.

00:51:51.000 I was like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:51:51.000 Christ is the way and the light. 0.99

00:51:53.000 This is what I believe in.

00:51:54.000 Bob Dylan was a born-again Christian?

00:51:56.000 110%.

00:51:56.000 Honestly.

00:51:57.000 And it's amazing to see this dude who's so comfortable in just inhabiting what he's experiencing at that time.

00:52:03.000 He's looking it up, Ben.

00:52:04.000 This is what I'm doing.

00:52:05.000 He wants to double-check. 1.00

00:52:06.000 No, this shit is from the host's mouth. 1.00

00:52:10.000 Wow. 1.00

00:52:11.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:52:12.000 But it's a shocker to see these words, because this is just my upbringing. 0.99

00:52:16.000 When someone talks about Jesus that openly, I get kind of freaked out because of my shit, I guess. 0.99

00:52:22.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:52:22.000 But to hear him talk about this, it just, like, realizes people fucking change. 0.99

00:52:29.000 This is a BobDylanJesus.com page. 0.96

00:52:32.000 There you go.

00:52:32.000 Oh, my God.

00:52:34.000 The details.

00:52:35.000 How fascinating.

00:52:36.000 Bob Dylan's Jesus years.

00:52:37.000 Yeah.

00:52:38.000 Bob Dylan's for Jews for Jesus. 0.76

00:52:40.000 So many different people.

00:52:42.000 Yeah.

00:52:42.000 He's an artist.

00:52:44.000 Yeah.

00:52:44.000 You know, he takes chances.

00:52:46.000 When you really see in this, just in reading these things, this dude was using a persona and still is.

00:52:53.000 Like, Bob Dylan is something, he sets it aside from himself, and that's how he figured out how he could create.

00:52:57.000 You know what I mean? 0.93

00:52:58.000 He's like, that's Bob Dylan, and I can kind of remove myself and do whatever the fuck I want. 0.74

00:53:03.000 Now I'm kind of, not blameless, but like... 0.86

00:53:07.000 Disassociated almost.

00:53:08.000 Wow.

00:53:09.000 I don't know about all that.

00:53:10.000 Oh, I guess there's a documentary.

00:53:15.000 There's a documentary.

00:53:17.000 There's a film.

00:53:18.000 This is a film.

00:53:20.000 Inside Bob Dylan's Jesus Years is a film.

00:53:22.000 Ben, who's the guy from The Who?

00:53:24.000 Which guy from The Who?

00:53:25.000 Pete Townsend?

00:53:26.000 Pete Townsend. 0.93

00:53:27.000 Oh, he was the one that got caught looking at child porn.

00:53:30.000 No!

00:53:30.000 But he got cleared.

00:53:31.000 He got cleared, man.

00:53:33.000 Baba O'Reilly?

00:53:34.000 What's that?

00:53:35.000 Yeah, that's a Who song.

00:53:35.000 Right.

00:53:36.000 He got cleared. 0.93

00:53:36.000 About the masturbation. 0.93

00:53:38.000 He got cleared, but what does that mean? 0.99

00:53:39.000 That means, like, this is a dude who's been sexually molested as a child in his life, and he was doing, like, a project trying to expose shit, you know, being like, this is fucked up, you know, and he kind of got outed for... 0.88

00:53:51.000 And look, I mean, I'm not an expert on it, so I hope this doesn't bite the situation. 0.89

00:53:55.000 Right, I hope you're right.

00:53:57.000 I hope you're right.

00:53:57.000 I definitely don't want him to be a trial molester.

00:54:01.000 Healthy viewpoint.

00:54:02.000 Yeah, I try to look towards the positive at all.

00:54:07.000 But he's an odd guy.

00:54:10.000 He is.

00:54:11.000 He made a statement about homosexuality or about being a woman, about he had been a woman in his life.

00:54:19.000 And it was very strange because it was like this...

00:54:21.000 He had been a woman like in a past life? 0.60

00:54:23.000 No, in a sexual sense. 0.83

00:54:25.000 Like he had been the receiving end of male sex. 0.92

00:54:29.000 So he had like played... 0.99

00:54:32.000 Are we talking about butt sex? 0.99

00:54:34.000 What are we talking about? 0.99

00:54:35.000 I think you'd have to talk...

00:54:36.000 Did Brian just go...

00:54:37.000 Pete Townsend...

00:54:41.000 You creeper.

00:54:42.000 Here, I'll read you the quote.

00:54:44.000 I'm so excited about my protein powder, Joe.

00:54:46.000 I'm glad you're happy.

00:54:47.000 I really am.

00:54:48.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Ben Jaffe is going to be bulking up.

00:54:51.000 What are you doing to bulk up? 0.98

00:54:53.000 Well, first of all, my back is hooked, so I'm doing a lot of core shit. 0.97

00:54:57.000 This is his quote. 0.98

00:54:58.000 I know how it feels to be a woman because I am a woman.

00:55:03.000 Fine.

00:55:03.000 I'm just telling you.

00:55:06.000 Sure.

00:55:07.000 Unsuccessfully.

00:55:08.000 What's more important, man?

00:55:09.000 Your back is temporarily hurt? 0.81

00:55:11.000 Or the time where Pete Townsend talked about being gay? 0.71

00:55:17.000 Okay, sorry.

00:55:17.000 Did he talk about being gay?

00:55:18.000 Did he talk about when he had his first period? 1.00

00:55:23.000 I don't know if you call it a period when it's a man's butt. 0.99

00:55:26.000 It's not like an egg got dropped. 0.99

00:55:27.000 I'm just checking. 1.00

00:55:28.000 You are not a woman for having butt sex. 1.00

00:55:30.000 I'm sorry. 1.00

00:55:30.000 Yeah, you're not, right? 1.00

00:55:32.000 You're not.

00:55:33.000 Do you accept a woman who's like a transgender woman?

00:55:36.000 Do you accept that as a pure woman?

00:55:38.000 Sure.

00:55:39.000 Absolutely.

00:55:40.000 What does that mean, pure woman? 1.00

00:55:42.000 And you're like, listen, bitch, I know you ain't got no period. 1.00

00:55:44.000 You need to stop pretending every month. 1.00

00:55:47.000 You're freaking out.

00:55:48.000 Maybe I'm having my period. 1.00

00:55:48.000 You don't have your fucking period! 1.00

00:55:50.000 You used to have a penis! 1.00

00:55:52.000 Right? 1.00

00:55:53.000 I'll call you Dolores, but you stop bitching about your fucking period! 1.00

00:55:56.000 What transgender woman is bitching about her period that you've been hanging out with? 1.00

00:56:00.000 If you don't think there's some transgender woman out there bitching about her period, you have no imagination. 1.00

00:56:05.000 I guarantee you, of all our transgender friends out there that are listening, I'll fucking, I'll bet you. 0.99

00:56:12.000 Wait, first of all, let's backtrack. 0.99

00:56:14.000 So you had Buck Angel on the show?

00:56:16.000 Yes, Buck Angel. 0.81

00:56:18.000 Was that a dream?

00:56:19.000 We talked about it?

00:56:19.000 We talked about Buck Angel.

00:56:20.000 I always wanted to have him on the show. 0.99

00:56:22.000 He's cool as fuck. 0.99

00:56:24.000 He's fucking awesome. 0.98

00:56:24.000 He's a really nice guy. 0.98

00:56:26.000 He's a really nice guy.

00:56:27.000 And it's, you know, I'm very flexible with my ideas about, like, gender.

00:56:32.000 Totally.

00:56:33.000 I don't begrudge anybody their own sexual proclivities, their own ideas about gender conformity and about gender identity.

00:56:42.000 I have been in this battle with a lot of transgender people over the last year or so, but it's purely because of one individual. 1.00

00:56:50.000 Who's that?

00:56:50.000 It's purely because of a woman who used to be a man.

00:56:53.000 She was a man for 30 years and started MMA fighting. 0.98

00:56:58.000 I know who you're talking about. 1.00

00:57:00.000 I said a bunch of rude, mean shit. 0.99

00:57:03.000 There's some things that we don't know that you know that I know. 1.00

00:57:06.000 You know what I mean?

00:57:07.000 I'm not okay with that. 1.00

00:57:09.000 I said a bunch of rude, mean shit. 0.99

00:57:11.000 You know, that if I, like, thought about the possibility that it would make other transgender people feel bad, I probably wouldn't have said it again. 0.99

00:57:17.000 But the reality is that it's one thing to say that you're a woman, but it's another thing to say that there's not some crazy mechanical advantages to the male frame that you don't lose when you transition to being a woman.

00:57:30.000 It's not...

00:57:30.000 There's a one...

00:57:31.000 There's a 10%...

00:57:35.000 Was she accepted into the league?

00:57:38.000 Is it a league?

00:57:56.000 Which we can.

00:57:57.000 Which we can. 0.99

00:57:58.000 Why can't a woman decide she wants to beat the shit out of a man and see if she can do it? 1.00

00:58:02.000 If they both weigh the same. 0.99

00:58:03.000 No reason.

00:58:04.000 Why not?

00:58:04.000 Hey, Joe.

00:58:05.000 Hey, Ben.

00:58:06.000 How's her record?

00:58:06.000 Hi, Agenda.

00:58:07.000 How's her record?

00:58:08.000 How's her record?

00:58:09.000 The record.

00:58:09.000 Did she win a lot?

00:58:11.000 Oh, yeah.

00:58:12.000 That's like every time.

00:58:14.000 It's not just win.

00:58:15.000 Win in, like, really quick, violent ways.

00:58:17.000 That's horrible.

00:58:18.000 Okay.

00:58:18.000 Yeah.

00:58:18.000 Well, she lost once, though.

00:58:19.000 She lost once to some badass bitch. 1.00

00:58:21.000 She lost once. 0.98

00:58:23.000 But it was just like, you know, all due respect, not trying to be mean, her skill level is very rudimentary.

00:58:30.000 I watched her movements, and there's nothing substantial about it.

00:58:34.000 There's, like, there's some MMA fighters.

00:58:35.000 But is it just brute force?

00:58:37.000 Well, no.

00:58:38.000 There's definitely technique involved.

00:58:40.000 She definitely knows a lot of technique.

00:58:42.000 She definitely trains hard.

00:58:43.000 There's no doubt about it, because she's fighting five-minute rounds. 1.00

00:58:46.000 I don't know if they fight five-minute rounds in a lot of these female organizations. 1.00

00:58:49.000 Sometimes they lower the number of minutes.

00:58:51.000 But she's definitely talented. 1.00

00:58:53.000 She definitely can fight. 1.00

00:58:54.000 There's no doubt about it.

00:58:56.000 It's not like she's some horrible amateur that has no idea what she's doing.

00:58:59.000 She's knocking people out. 1.00

00:59:01.000 Whether or not she's knocking...

00:59:04.000 You know, what they would call cisgender.

00:59:05.000 That's what they like to call it.

00:59:06.000 Transgender people like to call people that were born a certain gender called cisgender.

00:59:10.000 What is that?

00:59:11.000 I don't know what it stands for.

00:59:11.000 No one knows.

00:59:12.000 No one knows.

00:59:12.000 It's popcorn.

00:59:13.000 Why do you call it popcorn?

00:59:14.000 You just do.

00:59:15.000 Okay.

00:59:16.000 You pop the corn.

00:59:17.000 You pop the corn.

00:59:19.000 I think I do know why they call it popcorn.

00:59:21.000 Why is Kool-Aid Kool-Aid?

00:59:22.000 I don't know.

00:59:23.000 Is it a band-aid?

00:59:25.000 It's not that cool.

00:59:26.000 It'll give you diabetes.

00:59:27.000 Sorry.

00:59:28.000 Oh, yeah.

00:59:29.000 Oh, yeah.

00:59:30.000 See, but for the first few fights, she didn't admit that she used to be a man.

00:59:34.000 Ooh, that's weird. 1.00

00:59:35.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:59:36.000 And she said that it wasn't something they required of her, and she thought it was a mental... 1.00

00:59:39.000 Did someone help her?

00:59:40.000 A medical, yes.

00:59:42.000 Okay.

00:59:42.000 Or, I don't know.

00:59:43.000 I don't know.

00:59:43.000 I shouldn't say.

00:59:44.000 I don't know exactly how it came out. 0.96

00:59:46.000 But the people that fought her that didn't know that she used to be a man were pretty fucking upset. 0.60

00:59:50.000 Honestly, this is so interesting. 0.86

00:59:52.000 This is fascinating that at this day and age, this is an argument that we have.

00:59:57.000 You have to label something and then it's like, well, is it this or is it that?

01:00:02.000 And it's both things. 0.94

01:00:05.000 Is Buck Angel the butchiest of lesbians or is Buck Angel a man? 1.00

01:00:12.000 You know what I mean? 0.98

01:00:14.000 First of all, I respect Buck and I think that he's great.

01:00:18.000 We met him.

01:00:19.000 He's great.

01:00:19.000 But at the same time, I'm just kind of fascinated by the whole conversation to begin with.

01:00:25.000 Yeah.

01:00:27.000 Sorry, go ahead.

01:00:28.000 I was just going to say, I think to most rational people, it doesn't really make a difference.

01:00:33.000 It's like self-definition.

01:00:34.000 You can call yourself whatever you want.

01:00:36.000 I think it's when people start proselytizing about it.

01:00:38.000 That's a problem.

01:00:40.000 Because then, I don't know, it's invasive.

01:00:42.000 In this issue, my only concern is that it's a personal safety issue.

01:00:46.000 Sure. 0.93

01:00:46.000 And there's sort of like a, I don't know, fuck, I don't want to get involved in an argument with anyone on the internet, but it almost sort of feels like an unfair advantage. 0.93

01:00:56.000 Well, no, it's an unfair advantage. 0.96

01:00:57.000 It is.

01:00:57.000 It is an unfair advantage.

01:00:58.000 It doesn't mean that the woman isn't going to win.

01:01:01.000 The other woman isn't going to win. 1.00

01:01:03.000 What it does mean is just that the physical advantage, it's often like you can overcome physical advantage with technique, but you shouldn't have to.

01:01:11.000 There's a certain amount of physical advantage where I don't know.

01:01:13.000 I don't think the studies have really been done on fighters.

01:01:17.000 I think there's been some studies on athletes and athletes' reaction, but I think the difference between being a man who transitions into being a woman and competing in Olympic volleyball It's very different than being a man who used to be a woman who transitioned to combat sports.

01:01:31.000 Because you're essentially dealing with having an advantage in dealing out concussions.

01:01:37.000 And that's a big deal.

01:01:39.000 There's a difference in the way we're shaped.

01:01:42.000 You know, and the broader shoulders of the male, the larger hands, the more narrow hips, the different geometry of the body.

01:01:50.000 The beautiful curve of the brow.

01:01:52.000 Yes.

01:01:53.000 Tell me more, Ben. 0.97

01:01:56.000 The sweat dripping off the buttocks. 0.93

01:01:58.000 Well, gotta go.

01:01:59.000 We'll see you guys later.

01:01:59.000 The jar is so wide.

01:02:01.000 We'll be fine in here without Jesus' aid. 1.00

01:02:02.000 Accommodate my cock and balls. 1.00

01:02:05.000 Careful, he's got an angry dick, remember? 1.00

01:02:07.000 It's very furious right now. 1.00

01:02:09.000 All this fucking transgender talk is making it angry. 1.00

01:02:12.000 Joe, Joe, I have a question. 1.00

01:02:14.000 Have you ever fought a woman?

01:02:16.000 No.

01:02:17.000 No.

01:02:17.000 I sparred with them.

01:02:18.000 Okay.

01:02:18.000 Way, way, way back in the day in Taekwondo.

01:02:21.000 Never in kickboxing, but in Taekwondo classes sometimes you have to spar with them.

01:02:24.000 But I never hurt one.

01:02:25.000 Yeah.

01:02:26.000 I love playing basketball with women. 1.00

01:02:28.000 Do you?

01:02:28.000 Honestly.

01:02:29.000 Yeah.

01:02:29.000 I bet you do.

01:02:29.000 No, I really do.

01:02:30.000 Everybody gets sweaty.

01:02:31.000 Nice way to meet people.

01:02:31.000 Doesn't mean anything.

01:02:32.000 You bump up against each other.

01:02:32.000 Do you bump up against each other?

01:02:34.000 Okay.

01:02:34.000 No, sure.

01:02:35.000 You make your jokes.

01:02:36.000 That's fine.

01:02:36.000 I got a valid point here.

01:02:38.000 That's okay.

01:02:38.000 Get it out.

01:02:39.000 Have you ever gotten a boner while playing basketball?

01:02:42.000 Have you ever gotten a semi?

01:02:44.000 What?

01:02:44.000 Did that come out?

01:02:45.000 No, but honestly, everybody chills out and everyone just plays.

01:02:48.000 I think it's kind of more on your volleyball tip in the sense that people are playing the game then. 0.96

01:02:53.000 It's not about like, I'm going to fucking elbow this guy in the face. 0.96

01:02:55.000 I'm going to play physical. 0.98

01:02:56.000 It's like people are actually applying the techniques of basketball.

01:02:59.000 There's some serious basketball drama.

01:03:01.000 It's almost like when dudes...

01:03:04.000 Well, in general, like extracurricular...

01:03:06.000 I'm not talking about martial arts and actual training that you're involved with.

01:03:12.000 My experience with extracurricular sporting activities are kickball and basketball and softball.

01:03:18.000 Those are huge in my world.

01:03:19.000 It's amazing because people get so into it.

01:03:23.000 And the ones that get angry...

01:03:25.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:25.000 And you're like...

01:03:26.000 We're here to have fun, but at the same time, that kind of sometimes also makes it more fun because then there's that guy that everybody can be like, wow, look at fucking, I don't know, Ted. 0.93

01:03:35.000 When we were in Boston, we used to have a comedian softball game. 0.92

01:03:39.000 Okay.

01:03:39.000 Every Monday.

01:03:40.000 Oh my God.

01:03:40.000 I think it was.

01:03:41.000 Comics would get together and fucking yell at each other. 1.00

01:03:43.000 It was fucking safe! 1.00

01:03:44.000 We'd scream at each other over softball. 0.99

01:03:46.000 Oh, it's so funny!

01:03:47.000 It's the jam!

01:03:48.000 P.S. Honey Honey is very athletic.

01:03:50.000 We love all sports, so if you guys want to get down...

01:03:52.000 You guys, alright.

01:03:53.000 I love it.

01:03:54.000 Throwing the gauntlet down.

01:03:55.000 We swing a heavy bat, you know what I'm saying? 0.99

01:03:57.000 Yeah, fucking Roadkill Ghost Choir right now. 0.99

01:04:00.000 You know Roadkill Ghost Choir? 0.99

01:04:01.000 Yeah, I've been going back and forth with them on Twitter.

01:04:03.000 Really?

01:04:03.000 What?

01:04:04.000 They opened a show for us.

01:04:05.000 Oh, they're the best. 0.99

01:04:06.000 They're really fucking good, man. 0.98

01:04:07.000 That's amazing. 0.99

01:04:07.000 What a small world. 0.99

01:04:08.000 You guys are the best.

01:04:09.000 No, it's okay.

01:04:10.000 They're also awesome.

01:04:11.000 Everybody can be the best.

01:04:11.000 I really like those guys, though, a lot.

01:04:13.000 They're awesome. 0.88

01:04:13.000 They're fucking badass. 0.88

01:04:14.000 They sent me one of their CDs. 0.97

01:04:16.000 It's cool.

01:04:17.000 Ben, was that in Nashville?

01:04:18.000 I'm a producer.

01:04:18.000 Here's my card.

01:04:19.000 Hey, I love it! 0.99

01:04:20.000 This has got a dick on it. 0.99

01:04:22.000 What is this? 0.99

01:04:23.000 This is a hotel kit. 1.00

01:04:25.000 Who the fuck are you? 1.00

01:04:27.000 Is that a suggestion? 1.00

01:04:29.000 What are you doing?

01:04:29.000 We're just throwing it at this.

01:04:31.000 Sometimes you gotta lay it out.

01:04:32.000 What it is.

01:04:33.000 Who knew this podcast would be so...

01:04:35.000 Dark. 0.73

01:04:36.000 ...homo-friendly. 0.56

01:04:38.000 They should all be homo-friendly. 1.00

01:04:40.000 Everybody should be friends.

01:04:42.000 You know what we shouldn't be?

01:04:43.000 We shouldn't be hetero...

01:04:45.000 We shouldn't be hetero-negative.

01:04:48.000 Hetero-exclusive.

01:04:49.000 That's what we shouldn't be.

01:04:49.000 First of all, I did not mean to say that.

01:04:51.000 I think you did.

01:04:52.000 I think you came from a deep part of yourself that is speaking to millions of people.

01:04:56.000 First of all, I'm part gay.

01:04:57.000 Secondly...

01:04:58.000 How much?

01:04:58.000 20%?

01:04:59.000 I don't know.

01:05:00.000 I can...

01:05:00.000 20% sexy.

01:05:02.000 50% is confusing.

01:05:04.000 I would say I'm 35. Damn. 1.00

01:05:07.000 Like every few years. 1.00

01:05:08.000 That's a good number.

01:05:09.000 Every few years, give a chick a drunken sloppy kiss. 1.00

01:05:11.000 Yeah.

01:05:12.000 Yeah.

01:05:12.000 That's fun.

01:05:13.000 Nothing wrong with that.

01:05:14.000 No.

01:05:15.000 Men are not granted those kind gestures.

01:05:19.000 Go ahead.

01:05:19.000 No.

01:05:20.000 Go ahead.

01:05:20.000 Ask anything.

01:05:21.000 Have you ever kissed a man?

01:05:22.000 Never.

01:05:22.000 Okay.

01:05:23.000 Never.

01:05:25.000 Do you want to?

01:05:26.000 No.

01:05:27.000 But I did allow myself to ponder.

01:05:30.000 Yeah?

01:05:31.000 Well, you got to.

01:05:31.000 When I was wondering about this Mick Jagger, David Bowie thing.

01:05:35.000 Yes.

01:05:35.000 And I was thinking, okay.

01:05:38.000 Okay, am I really wrapped up tight and connected to this idea, not just of heterosexuality, but of lifelong heterosexual practice exclusively?

01:05:50.000 Like, am I so wrapped up in that that I couldn't give a man a kiss? 1.00

01:05:54.000 And then I was like, you better shut the fuck up, homo. 1.00

01:05:57.000 I said that to myself. 1.00

01:05:58.000 I said that to myself.

01:06:00.000 Trying to plant these thoughts in my head. 0.99

01:06:01.000 You gaybashed yourself. 1.00

01:06:02.000 Yes, I gaybashed myself. 0.72

01:06:04.000 Because I was trying to...

01:06:05.000 I was wondering.

01:06:05.000 I was like, okay, these guys...

01:06:07.000 I always...

01:06:08.000 I do little things where I will try to...

01:06:14.000 Experience things or go places or put my mind or my consciousness in an unusual situation because I think that when you have unusual experiences, even if you watch unusual DVDs or go to a strange place, you take in new information.

01:06:31.000 That new information interacts with all the other information in your head and you form maybe new creative ideas.

01:06:36.000 So I think as a person who tries to be creative, it's good to have as many experiences as possible.

01:06:40.000 Totally.

01:06:41.000 Boom! 0.99

01:06:45.000 There's a certain line that I go, I just don't think I can do that. 1.00

01:06:48.000 When I look at Mick Jagger and David Bowie, I wonder if they were like, fuck it, fuck everything, man. 1.00

01:06:54.000 Fuck homophobia. 1.00

01:06:57.000 Fuck, I'm a man, you're a man. 1.00

01:06:59.000 Fuck, I'm only attracted to women. 1.00

01:07:02.000 That's a quintessential rock star, though. 1.00

01:07:04.000 I think those are dudes with a different spectrum than you, though.

01:07:08.000 Maybe.

01:07:08.000 It could also be drug-induced delirium.

01:07:13.000 And going through the...

01:07:15.000 I think those dudes at that time had probably been through enough to say, I've been to the limit.

01:07:23.000 I've seen the edge of the cliff.

01:07:25.000 But that's the old adage. 1.00

01:07:26.000 If you suck enough dicks one day, you're going to want to have sex with a woman. 1.00

01:07:31.000 Like if a gay guy gets to some breaking point. 1.00

01:07:34.000 I feel like that all the time. 1.00

01:07:35.000 He's had a hundred million dicks in his ass and mouth. 1.00

01:07:38.000 He's like, enough! 1.00

01:07:38.000 Blizzard of dicks. 1.00

01:07:39.000 Enough! 1.00

01:07:40.000 I want a woman. 1.00

01:07:42.000 Well, it doesn't happen.

01:07:43.000 But does it happen the other way?

01:07:44.000 Where a man, a straight man, has so many different female partners that one day he needs... 1.00

01:07:51.000 Okay, they fucked. 1.00

01:07:53.000 I want to be the guy that says it. 1.00

01:07:56.000 Who is the little spoon? 0.99

01:07:58.000 Let me tell you something.

01:07:59.000 If you're lying on someone's shoulder and they put their arm around like that, what you do is you reach up at the left arm, you protect the neck.

01:08:05.000 It's very important.

01:08:07.000 Don't use the thumb like this.

01:08:10.000 You want to do it like this.

01:08:11.000 You want to cup it and don't let go of that wrist.

01:08:13.000 Pin it down to your chest.

01:08:14.000 Dan, you gotta shrimp out.

01:08:16.000 I know you guys know about shrimp out.

01:08:18.000 Hello!

01:08:19.000 Hashtag shrimp out.

01:08:20.000 Oh man, everybody, it's so great.

01:08:22.000 It's so great at the show.

01:08:23.000 Sometimes people will just be like, Ben, shrimp out!

01:08:26.000 And it's like, yeah!

01:08:28.000 It's so funny.

01:08:30.000 That is the only podcast.

01:08:32.000 What a beautiful thing.

01:08:32.000 What a beautiful part of our history here, Joe.

01:08:35.000 Oh, that's Lou Reed.

01:08:36.000 Wasn't that Lou Reed?

01:08:37.000 Um, is he cussing?

01:08:38.000 That's David Bowie.

01:08:39.000 I know David Bowie, but that looks like Lou Reed on the left.

01:08:42.000 It is Lou Reed.

01:08:42.000 Yeah.

01:08:43.000 David Bowie's a goddamn... 1.00

01:08:44.000 Or Steve Guttenberg. 1.00

01:08:45.000 David Bowie's a goddamn freak. 1.00

01:08:47.000 He's a slut. 1.00

01:08:48.000 Just slinging dick all over town. 1.00

01:08:49.000 He's another fucking man. 1.00

01:08:49.000 He's the man. 1.00

01:08:50.000 Oh, dude.

01:08:51.000 Do you know what?

01:08:51.000 Ground Control, Major Tom.

01:08:53.000 I think that is the ultimate form of...

01:08:55.000 That's Elton John.

01:08:56.000 But that's a great song, too. 1.00

01:08:57.000 Same shit. 1.00

01:08:58.000 I'm talking about space. 1.00

01:08:58.000 Sorry, Ground Control, Major Tom, whatever. 1.00

01:09:00.000 You guys are just adorable. 0.99

01:09:02.000 That's fucking so cute. 0.99

01:09:04.000 Let me bond with John. 0.98

01:09:05.000 Why aren't you wearing matching t-shirts?

01:09:07.000 I didn't know.

01:09:08.000 Give it time.

01:09:09.000 Give it time.

01:09:10.000 I didn't get my penguin package. 0.99

01:09:12.000 Oh, damn! 0.99

01:09:13.000 Remember when you were kids and people would have fake alligator shirts? 1.00

01:09:16.000 We would give you some of our stuff, but your muscles are too big. 1.00

01:09:20.000 I wear your shit. 1.00

01:09:21.000 You won't fit. 1.00

01:09:22.000 Fuck, we should have brought your dress. 1.00

01:09:23.000 We have new shirts. 1.00

01:09:24.000 Hold on, can I say something that's very relevant and important to this podcast?

01:09:28.000 You have a listener.

01:09:29.000 Who made us a piece of artwork.

01:09:30.000 Be careful what you say.

01:09:31.000 Well, look, dude, we've treated him with the utmost legal respect.

01:09:34.000 I'm not even kidding.

01:09:35.000 He made two bills.

01:09:37.000 His name is Bill Patterson.

01:09:38.000 And he put two dollar bills.

01:09:41.000 They were one dollar bills.

01:09:42.000 Yeah, I've seen that.

01:09:43.000 We made shirts out of that, dude.

01:09:44.000 That's like our merch.

01:09:45.000 That's a great picture. 0.98

01:09:45.000 It's fucking awesome. 0.98

01:09:46.000 We have to get you guys t-shirts. 0.98

01:09:48.000 Oh, my God.

01:09:48.000 Why didn't we bring those?

01:09:49.000 Fucking drop the bra. 1.00

01:09:51.000 Guys, we live in the same town now. 1.00

01:09:53.000 Whoa.

01:09:54.000 I think it's going to be fun.

01:09:55.000 You guys aren't living in Tennessee anymore.

01:09:55.000 We don't have apartments.

01:09:56.000 Do you have a spare bedroom?

01:09:58.000 We'll get you a place to stay.

01:10:00.000 When are we going hunting?

01:10:01.000 When do you want to?

01:10:02.000 All the time.

01:10:03.000 What do you want to shoot?

01:10:04.000 Now. 0.98

01:10:04.000 What do you want to eat? 0.98

01:10:06.000 It's looking like we're here in November.

01:10:08.000 I might...

01:10:10.000 Okay.

01:10:10.000 Honey, honey.

01:10:11.000 Let's talk about this later.

01:10:11.000 Honey, honey goes pig hunting.

01:10:13.000 I'm down with that.

01:10:14.000 Wild pig hunting.

01:10:14.000 We have the most likelihood of success, like, of anything that we could do in, like, a close range.

01:10:19.000 But we have to take you guys.

01:10:20.000 Have you shot rifles before?

01:10:21.000 Yeah.

01:10:22.000 Yes?

01:10:22.000 Both of you?

01:10:22.000 But come on.

01:10:23.000 Yes.

01:10:23.000 Oh, yeah.

01:10:24.000 Together.

01:10:25.000 With two fingers on the same trigger, brother.

01:10:27.000 I'm just kidding.

01:10:28.000 That never happens.

01:10:29.000 It's a band.

01:10:30.000 Yeah.

01:10:31.000 Music!

01:10:32.000 They're a team!

01:10:34.000 My whiskey almost just came out my nose.

01:10:36.000 You posted something, and I mistakenly thought it was you.

01:10:38.000 My friend Cameron Haynes.

01:10:40.000 Drawing a bow on an elk. 0.97

01:10:41.000 But it really made me think, the caption underneath it, because it was talking about the practice and the discipline that it took to be able to make that shot and not hit the deer in the fucking haunch so it's crippled for the rest of his life but not dead. 0.88

01:10:53.000 And that gave me a new respect for hunting, honestly, because I was like, I don't want to go out there and shoot something... 0.92

01:10:58.000 Yes.

01:10:59.000 You don't trophy hunt, though.

01:11:01.000 No, it's not about trophy hunting.

01:11:02.000 It's about not being a good enough shot or not being skilled enough to be able to kill the animal in a humane way.

01:11:09.000 Well, it is possible, if you go out hunting, that you could miss.

01:11:14.000 And Cam has missed.

01:11:16.000 Cameron Haynes has missed.

01:11:17.000 Steven Ranello is my friend who's a master hunter.

01:11:20.000 He has missed.

01:11:20.000 And they have all wounded animals.

01:11:22.000 It is a part of the process.

01:11:24.000 If you deny that part of the process, you're being dishonest.

01:11:28.000 But you need to practice due diligence to make sure that you minimize that in as much as is possible.

01:11:53.000 I'm glad to be with you guys. 0.99

01:11:56.000 Holy shit! 0.98

01:11:57.000 Happy to be with you guys. 1.00

01:11:58.000 That's a really loud engine.

01:11:59.000 In the bunker.

01:12:01.000 Is that the Ebola plane?

01:12:02.000 Oh, Jesus. 1.00

01:12:03.000 What the fuck was that? 0.99

01:12:05.000 So we're, uh, we're sitting here. 1.00

01:12:06.000 Holy shit, I thought Redman was doing something weird. 0.85

01:12:08.000 And it, it almost sounded, it's so loud, like a jet, it sounded like, uh, That was right over here. 0.99

01:12:14.000 Like a fucking jet was gonna crash in Canoga Park. 0.90

01:12:16.000 Hey, if this is it right now, like... 0.98

01:12:18.000 I love you guys, too.

01:12:20.000 I love you.

01:12:21.000 I mean that.

01:12:22.000 I do.

01:12:22.000 This is okay.

01:12:23.000 We've been talking about meteor impacts on the show lately.

01:12:26.000 Yeah.

01:12:28.000 Brian Callen and I got obsessed with meteor impacts.

01:12:31.000 We were on Prince of Wales.

01:12:32.000 We started talking about all the various meteor impacts and super volcanoes that have happened over the past X amount of years.

01:12:40.000 Brian's back.

01:12:41.000 Anything?

01:12:41.000 Did you get any info?

01:12:41.000 What's the intel?

01:12:43.000 We should probably, like, start checking the news sites.

01:12:45.000 What do you think?

01:12:46.000 There was, like, top gun jets flying...

01:12:48.000 Oh, well, you know, Obama's in town.

01:12:51.000 Still? 1.00

01:12:52.000 I heard some shit this morning, too. 1.00

01:12:53.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:12:53.000 It's mayhem. 1.00

01:12:54.000 They came to get mayhem.

01:12:55.000 Was he here today as well?

01:12:57.000 Because he was here yesterday.

01:12:58.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:12:59.000 Maybe he left today and he's on one of those fucking jets. 1.00

01:13:01.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:13:02.000 Find out.

01:13:03.000 I'm sad now.

01:13:04.000 Is this going to be like, this is the end here at the podcast?

01:13:07.000 Do you have enough snacks?

01:13:10.000 We're almost out of whiskey!

01:13:12.000 Oh my god! 1.00

01:13:13.000 If we could get the fucking Taliban in the same room and give them some hash and we all eat it together, we could work this motherfucker out. 1.00

01:13:19.000 You know, we'll bring the entertainment musical part. 1.00

01:13:23.000 Musical entertainment.

01:13:24.000 What's going to happen is we're going to read, like, it's going to be the end of the world, and we only have, like, five minutes left, and then you two are going to kiss, and it's going to be...

01:13:31.000 Me and Ben, or me and Suzanne?

01:13:32.000 This is very important.

01:13:34.000 If we could do a three-way kiss.

01:13:35.000 If it's the end of the world, since this is it...

01:13:38.000 I say three-way kiss.

01:13:40.000 If this is our last time here on Earth, Brian, will you please say world?

01:13:43.000 World?

01:13:44.000 Thank you.

01:13:46.000 World.

01:13:46.000 He says W-R-L-L-O-D. World.

01:13:50.000 World.

01:13:51.000 World.

01:13:52.000 World.

01:13:53.000 Peace.

01:13:53.000 I'm like, if it's the end, you could say world once.

01:13:55.000 I know you know how to say it. 0.99

01:13:56.000 Guys, that was fucking crazy. 0.98

01:13:57.000 Yeah, that wasn't good. 0.99

01:13:58.000 That was weird.

01:13:59.000 That was so loud.

01:14:00.000 We're inside of a building. 1.00

01:14:01.000 You know, like a pretty thick ass fucking regular ass. 1.00

01:14:03.000 Everyone's outside. 1.00

01:14:04.000 We're going to be okay.

01:14:05.000 Are people standing outside?

01:14:05.000 Everyone's outside.

01:14:06.000 Really?

01:14:07.000 Yeah.

01:14:08.000 That's why we should really look at Twitter.

01:14:09.000 Oh my god.

01:14:10.000 Yeah, okay.

01:14:10.000 What is it?

01:14:11.000 Anybody catch anything? 0.99

01:14:13.000 I guarantee it's just some people fucking showing off. 0.99

01:14:16.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:14:17.000 They're probably jerking off while they're flying really low. 0.99

01:14:18.000 I quit. 1.00

01:14:19.000 I quit this fucking job. 1.00

01:14:21.000 What's the best way? 1.00

01:14:22.000 Zero G jerk. 0.99

01:14:23.000 Jerk off while you're flying, go a thousand miles an hour, fifteen feet off the ground. 1.00

01:14:26.000 Go. 0.95

01:14:27.000 I couldn't do it, man.

01:14:29.000 Too much pressure.

01:14:30.000 I could do it.

01:14:31.000 Well, even if you don't come, at least you can say you did it.

01:14:33.000 Then what's the point? 0.98

01:14:34.000 I was jerking off. 0.97

01:14:35.000 Did you really do it then? 0.99

01:14:36.000 Most people won't even question you any further. 0.88

01:14:38.000 I was jerking off in a jet fifteen feet off the ground going a thousand miles an hour. 1.00

01:14:42.000 Was your dick hard? 1.00

01:14:43.000 Why are you asking me that? 1.00

01:14:45.000 Leave me alone. 1.00

01:14:46.000 All you have to do is just start pulling on your dick and technically speaking you were jerking off. 1.00

01:14:50.000 You flaccid. 1.00

01:14:52.000 You don't have to enjoy it. 1.00

01:14:53.000 I think you have to be out and really going to town to be jerking off. 1.00

01:14:59.000 That's not true though because you don't have a penis. 1.00

01:15:00.000 A man can be three quarters hard, half hard and still have the saddest orgasm of the year. 1.00

01:15:06.000 You know what?

01:15:07.000 I'll be honest with you.

01:15:08.000 The joke of shame.

01:15:08.000 I know what you're talking about.

01:15:09.000 Girls can have fucking mini-orgasms, too. 1.00

01:15:11.000 And it's like, that was okay. 1.00

01:15:13.000 Yeah, but it's not shameful.

01:15:15.000 It's not shameful.

01:15:15.000 There's a feeling of guilt, man.

01:15:17.000 Here's the difference. 0.85

01:15:18.000 If a girl calls up a friend that's a guy, say, a girl calls up a boyfriend and says, I was just masturbating. 0.83

01:15:25.000 I had like a half an orgasm. 0.93

01:15:27.000 Yeah.

01:15:27.000 The guy will go, I'll come over and take care of that.

01:15:31.000 Wait, first of all, Joey Diaz, you need to take care of that.

01:15:37.000 Sounds like a vocal fryer.

01:15:38.000 But if a guy calls up a girl he has sex with and he goes, I couldn't even totally get it up. 0.95

01:15:43.000 I just came all over myself. 0.99

01:15:44.000 Gross! 1.00

01:15:45.000 You're fucking gross! 1.00

01:15:46.000 The girl would be like, click. 1.00

01:15:50.000 No, I'd be like, do you want to watch a movie?

01:15:52.000 Yeah, she'll be like, do you want to just spoon then?

01:15:54.000 Do you want to watch Breaking Bad reruns?

01:15:57.000 Yeah.

01:15:58.000 What?

01:15:58.000 That's so hot.

01:15:59.000 Say it again.

01:16:00.000 Oh, no.

01:16:02.000 Up, done, see ya.

01:16:03.000 Yeah, what?

01:16:04.000 Do you guys think we're okay outside?

01:16:06.000 No.

01:16:07.000 Should I call my mom? 1.00

01:16:07.000 Fuck the world. 1.00

01:16:08.000 We were just talking about non-voting. 1.00

01:16:10.000 We were.

01:16:11.000 We definitely were. 1.00

01:16:12.000 Being beaten down by this fucking stupid system that's been in place since we were babies. 1.00

01:16:16.000 We didn't ask for this stupid system. 1.00

01:16:18.000 We were born into it. 1.00

01:16:19.000 This goofy-ass system. 1.00

01:16:21.000 You dummies! 1.00

01:16:22.000 How do we work our way out of it without being involved? 0.92

01:16:25.000 We'll get Ben trying to fix the world.

01:16:26.000 Hold on, I have a yellow notepad and I'm going to take notes.

01:16:29.000 This is what I honestly think.

01:16:30.000 I think it's happening whether we like it or not.

01:16:32.000 It just takes a lot of time and it's very confusing.

01:16:34.000 It's very confusing along the way and we're in the middle of it.

01:16:37.000 It's a hurricane. 0.98

01:16:38.000 We're in the middle of the storm and we've taken this crazy weather, fucking cows and semis flying through the air. 0.99

01:16:44.000 We've taken it as being normal. 0.99

01:16:45.000 Did you just quote the movie Twister?

01:16:46.000 No, I sort of did.

01:16:49.000 Visually in my mind, I was thinking about a news footage of one of the most impressive news videos I ever saw was this Dallas video, we played on the podcast, of these semi-trailers in a tornado that were flying through the air, just spinning around in the air like they were paper cups,

01:17:05.000 and they were semis.

01:17:07.000 That's terrifying. 0.99

01:17:07.000 That's another testament of the fucking miraculous thing, the ocean. 0.99

01:17:12.000 I got you, dog. 1.00

01:17:13.000 Nature gives zero fucks. 0.99

01:17:14.000 So I have an idea. 0.95

01:17:16.000 I have an idea.

01:17:16.000 Please.

01:17:17.000 Hold on, I'll write it down.

01:17:18.000 About the subject matter that we were discussing.

01:17:22.000 Subject matter.

01:17:23.000 Stop writing it down.

01:17:25.000 So, I think the world is in a crazy place, as we were discussing.

01:17:30.000 Yes.

01:17:31.000 And, you know, there are people that are really, really, really fucking smart intellectually, can analyze and overanalyze and just inside out... 0.69

01:17:39.000 Ben's right there.

01:17:41.000 He's right there.

01:17:42.000 Just call it what it is.

01:17:44.000 Just say it.

01:17:45.000 His name's Ben. 1.00

01:17:46.000 No, Ben, you're a fucking brilliant motherfucker, and I love you, and I'm so glad you're my partner. 1.00

01:17:50.000 I love you, too. 1.00

01:17:53.000 We're having a good time.

01:17:54.000 But...

01:17:55.000 He's got his issues, let's be honest.

01:18:00.000 I'm not a good listener.

01:18:02.000 You're a great listener.

01:18:03.000 What are you talking about?

01:18:05.000 Stop bringing yourself down. 1.00

01:18:08.000 Did you say mako penis? 1.00

01:18:09.000 Micro. 1.00

01:18:10.000 Oh, micro.

01:18:11.000 It's all about precision, bro.

01:18:13.000 Precision.

01:18:14.000 No, it's not.

01:18:15.000 I'm staying out of this one.

01:18:15.000 Guess what?

01:18:16.000 There's not a lot of precision involved when you're caught in a sleeve.

01:18:20.000 What is important...

01:18:22.000 Is that a foreskin joke? 0.72

01:18:25.000 Because Ben's Jewish. 1.00

01:18:26.000 No, a vagina being a physical sleeve. 1.00

01:18:29.000 Sleeve, hood, what's the difference? 1.00

01:18:31.000 That envelops the penis. 1.00

01:18:32.000 That's all I'm saying. 0.99

01:18:33.000 Hold on, now I really do need to write this down. 1.00

01:18:35.000 The penis goes in the vagina. 1.00

01:18:36.000 It's inside. 1.00

01:18:37.000 Well, you can go outside.

01:18:40.000 You've got to be really good at it.

01:18:42.000 You've got to be really good at it.

01:18:44.000 The slapping and the crying.

01:18:45.000 You can't spit in everyone's mouth.

01:18:48.000 You can't try it on everyone.

01:18:50.000 You gotta know.

01:18:50.000 I'm gonna need to be proven wrong on that.

01:18:51.000 It's like a terrible joke.

01:18:53.000 You have to know when you can get away with it.

01:18:55.000 And you don't know why you know, but you do know you know.

01:18:57.000 I'm so glad I didn't tell my mom about this podcast today.

01:18:59.000 I'm so glad. 0.95

01:19:00.000 When a girl sticks her tongue out and you just spit on it, and she just swallows it, and you know, this party is about to get fucking serious. 0.95

01:19:08.000 Oh my god. 0.91

01:19:08.000 When she doesn't even flinch. 0.91

01:19:09.000 I just got intimidated. 0.98

01:19:10.000 You grab it in the back right here and you spit in her mouth. 1.00

01:19:13.000 And she just reaches her head up and tongues you and whoa. 1.00

01:19:17.000 And then she's like, I know I'm about to get some double penetration. 0.99

01:19:20.000 You can't even believe you spit in her mouth. 1.00

01:19:22.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:19:22.000 And you can't even believe that she just swallowed it to let you know how gangster she is. 0.96

01:19:25.000 No, there's a camera in that room.

01:19:27.000 No, no, no, no.

01:19:28.000 Ben, why do you gotta go there?

01:19:30.000 I don't know.

01:19:30.000 It's all I need to do.

01:19:31.000 Ben, why did you have to take the beauty out of it?

01:19:33.000 I just want to capture it.

01:19:34.000 There's a lot of beauty in spitting in people's mouths. 0.99

01:19:36.000 I saw Tate spit in someone's mouth. 1.00

01:19:38.000 Were you there?

01:19:38.000 Remember that one?

01:19:39.000 Don Barris gets it almost once a week.

01:19:41.000 I was going to say something really deep and sensitive.

01:19:45.000 My friend Tate is a complete and total savage. 0.89

01:19:47.000 OG savage. 0.98

01:19:48.000 Original death squad crew. 0.97

01:19:50.000 Tate is an animal. 0.99

01:19:51.000 He was making out with this girl once and she goes spit in my mouth. 1.00

01:19:55.000 He just pulls her hair back and Fucking spits right in front of everybody. 1.00

01:19:59.000 I didn't look around. 1.00

01:20:00.000 Again!

01:20:00.000 It's happening again!

01:20:02.000 Did we run outside?

01:20:03.000 Jamie just ran outside.

01:20:04.000 Jamie, bring your camera.

01:20:06.000 Brian ran outside too. 0.99

01:20:07.000 What the fuck is going on? 0.99

01:20:09.000 Is this going to be Red Dawn? 1.00

01:20:10.000 I think we're pretty close to a naval base.

01:20:11.000 I don't think this is that big of a deal.

01:20:13.000 If this is Red Dawn, I'm so grateful to be where we are.

01:20:15.000 Here's the problem, white privilege. 0.99

01:20:18.000 We're sitting here in fucking Canoga Park thinking about what's going on. 0.99

01:20:23.000 Did you just call us white privilege? 0.99

01:20:24.000 Me too.

01:20:25.000 Me too.

01:20:26.000 This fighter jet's going over.

01:20:27.000 That doesn't have anything to do with race, brother.

01:20:30.000 Do you think it's Russia?

01:20:31.000 And it's all going to make sense.

01:20:32.000 What I'm saying is, we look at war as something that happens in another place.

01:20:38.000 And we support war. 0.89

01:20:39.000 If we do support war, we never think that it has to come anywhere near us.

01:20:44.000 We never think that it has to come anywhere near us.

01:20:46.000 We just don't.

01:20:47.000 We think that it's happening in Iraq.

01:20:49.000 It's happening in Afghanistan. 1.00

01:20:50.000 It's been happening there for 12 fucking years. 1.00

01:20:55.000 More than that. 1.00

01:20:56.000 Thousands of years.

01:20:57.000 Sure.

01:20:57.000 But with us.

01:20:58.000 Yeah, no, I get it.

01:20:58.000 What'd you see, Jamie?

01:20:59.000 He's going to make sure it's okay.

01:21:01.000 Well, he is one of the best investigative reporters in the Los Angeles era.

01:21:05.000 So if Brian Redman is on the case, he's out there smoking a cigarette.

01:21:12.000 He's going to come back inside.

01:21:13.000 He's going to go, I was looking.

01:21:13.000 He is smoking a cigarette, isn't he?

01:21:15.000 Of course he is. 1.00

01:21:16.000 Motherfucker. 1.00

01:21:16.000 Of course he is. 1.00

01:21:17.000 He can't help himself.

01:21:18.000 He's a junkie. 1.00

01:21:19.000 Poor bastard. 1.00

01:21:20.000 You don't need to do that, Susan. 1.00

01:21:21.000 Those vape pens don't work.

01:21:23.000 Do you want to go out there with them and smoke a cigarette?

01:21:24.000 No, I don't smoke anymore.

01:21:26.000 I don't smoke anymore.

01:21:27.000 And I quit my vape pens.

01:21:29.000 I found out there was formaldehyde in them. 0.98

01:21:32.000 That might be fucking R.J. Reynolds propaganda. 0.99

01:21:35.000 Whatever, I feel fine. 0.99

01:21:36.000 I don't smoke them anymore.

01:21:37.000 I have more energy.

01:21:38.000 You felt bad before?

01:21:38.000 No, I definitely felt more like tension.

01:21:42.000 Look at you.

01:21:44.000 You know what?

01:21:45.000 I've been taking the yoga.

01:21:47.000 Dang it.

01:21:47.000 The yoga.

01:21:49.000 I feel so at peace and I'm so happy.

01:21:51.000 I'm serious.

01:21:52.000 Yoga's so good.

01:21:53.000 It's so good. 0.97

01:21:54.000 Whenever I do it, I go, God damn, I should do this more often. 0.99

01:21:56.000 It's fucking great. 0.99

01:21:57.000 What kind of yoga do you do? 0.99

01:21:59.000 I do a bunch of different kinds, but I like fucking Bikrams, man. 1.00

01:22:02.000 People talk shit about Bikrams. 0.99

01:22:04.000 I like calling it hot yoga because apparently, I don't even feel bad saying this, Bikram, the guy who developed this brand, which is a series of poses, and he kind of... 0.99

01:22:13.000 Took for himself as his own. 0.97

01:22:15.000 Is a douche.

01:22:18.000 Allegedly.

01:22:19.000 I don't know.

01:22:20.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:22:21.000 He's just going to give you enlightenment through the head of his penis. 1.00

01:22:24.000 Everybody has a different method. 1.00

01:22:26.000 Some have koans. 1.00

01:22:27.000 Is the sound of one hand clapping any more offensive than him trying to fuck you? 1.00

01:22:31.000 Speaking of enlightenment. 1.00

01:22:31.000 I'm going to say yes. 1.00

01:22:34.000 Go ahead and answer that confidently.

01:22:35.000 But you just said yes.

01:22:36.000 Sure.

01:22:37.000 You said it's more offensive.

01:22:38.000 It's more...

01:22:39.000 The sound of one hand clapping is more offensive.

01:22:41.000 I misspoke. 0.99

01:22:41.000 You fucked it up. 0.99

01:22:42.000 I'm sorry.

01:22:42.000 I blew it.

01:22:42.000 You just sound like a rape apologist right there.

01:22:45.000 You asshole. 1.00

01:22:47.000 Hate. 1.00

01:22:47.000 Everyone's got their opinion. 1.00

01:22:48.000 White privilege. 1.00

01:22:49.000 Rape apologist. 1.00

01:22:51.000 Asshole. 1.00

01:22:52.000 Oh, man. 1.00

01:22:53.000 Asshole. 1.00

01:22:54.000 I'm part South American. 1.00

01:22:55.000 Oh, okay.

01:22:56.000 Well, at least you're Spaniard. 1.00

01:22:57.000 Yeah.

01:22:59.000 I'm thinking native, actually.

01:23:01.000 Whoa.

01:23:01.000 Yeah.

01:23:01.000 Went there.

01:23:02.000 A little bit.

01:23:04.000 Redemption.

01:23:04.000 I'm driving.

01:23:06.000 Joey Diaz always says that about our pal Eddie Bravo.

01:23:08.000 Eddie Bravo will get a couple of drinks and get a little freaky.

01:23:11.000 Eddie Bravo's great.

01:23:11.000 I love Eddie Bravo.

01:23:12.000 I love that guy.

01:23:12.000 He's my brother.

01:23:13.000 But Eddie Bravo, he even adopted the phrase, Joey Diaz called it when the Indian comes out, because South Americans are essentially, like Mexicans especially, are Indians mixed with Spaniards.

01:23:28.000 Like the Incas?

01:23:30.000 Yes.

01:23:30.000 Okay.

01:23:31.000 And Spaniards. 0.98

01:23:32.000 The Incas and the Spaniards. 0.99

01:23:34.000 That's the root of a lot of people from Mexico.

01:23:37.000 That's why there's like Spaniard, like Oscar de la Hoya looking Mexicans. 0.99

01:23:41.000 And then there's...

01:23:43.000 The Oaxacans. 0.97

01:23:44.000 That's more of a...

01:23:45.000 Well, there's some Mexicans that look very Native American.

01:23:47.000 Right.

01:23:48.000 Yeah, but that's what Joey Diaz would say.

01:23:50.000 The Indian's coming out. 1.00

01:23:51.000 Look at Eddie Bravo, that fucking Indian's coming out. 1.00

01:23:54.000 Because Indians and their notorious issues with alcohol. 1.00

01:23:57.000 Dude, my...

01:23:58.000 Dude, you raised your hand like you were.

01:24:01.000 Well, my grandmother is half Ojibwa, Chippewa Indian.

01:24:05.000 Do you get money from the casino?

01:24:07.000 No, not the casino, but if I wanted to go to school and live on a reservation, I could receive the benefits.

01:24:13.000 I know, I'm white as goat cheese, but it's true. 1.00

01:24:16.000 You're half a grandma.

01:24:17.000 My Grammy, yeah.

01:24:17.000 Grandma's half, so mom's a quarter.

01:24:19.000 Yeah, so I'm pretty much drunk after two drinks. 0.99

01:24:22.000 I'm fucking wasted. 0.99

01:24:23.000 You're an eighth? 1.00

01:24:24.000 I'm an eighth.

01:24:25.000 Wow.

01:24:26.000 You get money up to your 16th, right?

01:24:30.000 Getting money, that's very complicated.

01:24:33.000 You have to live on a reservation. 0.99

01:24:36.000 Are you willing?

01:24:37.000 No.

01:24:38.000 At one point I thought about it, but I'm in Los Angeles.

01:24:43.000 I don't want to move back to Minnesota.

01:24:45.000 Not that I lived in Minnesota ever, but that's where a lot of my family is from.

01:24:49.000 Is there a reservation here?

01:24:49.000 Oh, there's a couple of reservations.

01:24:51.000 Yeah, there's the casinos.

01:24:51.000 Some of the casinos are owned by Native Americans.

01:24:54.000 Well, yeah, I know that, but I didn't realize it was a reservation this year.

01:24:58.000 You got a fun fact?

01:24:59.000 I got a fun fact, too.

01:25:00.000 You go first.

01:25:00.000 It's actually an unfun fact, but in the state of California, in the casinos, why do I know this?

01:25:04.000 Because I like to gamble.

01:25:06.000 You can't throw dice.

01:25:07.000 It's illegal to throw dice in the state of California.

01:25:10.000 So, if you want to play craps, which I love to play, they have a deck of cards and they flip two cards and then you attribute that to...

01:25:19.000 That's gross! 0.99

01:25:20.000 What, you have to use cards instead of fucking dice? 1.00

01:25:22.000 You can't roll the cards. 0.99

01:25:23.000 Red man, what's going on?

01:25:24.000 Are we gonna live?

01:25:25.000 There's just fighter jets everywhere.

01:25:28.000 I'm telling you, it's Red Dawn.

01:25:29.000 Did you lock the door on your way back in?

01:25:30.000 Why don't you look up fighter jets LA? Yeah, there's a lot of people like, hey, we're hearing all these fighter jets, and then in San Francisco there was a couple of hours earlier.

01:25:39.000 We have to accept the fact that we're doing some creepy shit in other countries, and if it comes back to haunt us, look, these people are We're good to go. 0.89

01:25:51.000 We're good to go. 0.99

01:26:12.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:26:13.000 So I gotta say something.

01:26:14.000 The power that that dude travels around with.

01:26:16.000 Well, that position.

01:26:18.000 If it was Mitt Romney, the same power.

01:26:20.000 Sure.

01:26:20.000 I'm not attributing it to him, but we were talking to a friend.

01:26:23.000 Where is Mitt Romney?

01:26:25.000 I don't know.

01:26:26.000 What's he been doing?

01:26:27.000 About it.

01:26:28.000 He's reading the Mormon Bible.

01:26:30.000 Let's talk about that.

01:26:31.000 Fine.

01:26:34.000 You know what I think?

01:26:37.000 You do know what you think.

01:26:38.000 You know what he thinks?

01:26:40.000 You don't, because you didn't say it.

01:26:42.000 Actually, most of the time I do, to be honest with you. 1.00

01:26:44.000 We share the same goddamn brain. 1.00

01:26:46.000 If you had to think, what would you think he'd be thinking right now? 1.00

01:26:48.000 He's like, oh, I want to play guitar.

01:26:50.000 No, no, he was talking about Obama.

01:26:52.000 He was talking about Obama wielding power.

01:26:55.000 What were you going to say?

01:26:56.000 No, I was just, you know, Ben, do you want to talk?

01:27:00.000 Yeah, I was talking to him.

01:27:01.000 No, it's okay.

01:27:02.000 He's thinking, Suzanne, I want to talk and you interrupted me.

01:27:05.000 Listen, you guys are just both polite.

01:27:08.000 That's why this is awkward.

01:27:09.000 We're nice people. 0.69

01:27:09.000 If one of you is a bulldog, you just control this conversation. 0.69

01:27:13.000 There's this mean kid in junior high who used to call me bulldog. 1.00

01:27:16.000 That fucking motherfucker. 1.00

01:27:17.000 He had a crush on you. 1.00

01:27:18.000 Of course he did.

01:27:19.000 You know what, but he...

01:27:21.000 Where's he now?

01:27:22.000 Bad game.

01:27:25.000 Why didn't you develop sooner?

01:27:27.000 Well, here's what you need to learn about a lot of dudes.

01:27:29.000 Nobody teaches us how to talk to girls. 0.86

01:27:32.000 We just sort of have to figure it out when we're 13. And we do a terrible job for the first 7 or 14 years of our lives.

01:27:38.000 And then somewhere around 30, we slowly start to get it together.

01:27:41.000 That's why a lot of girls date older guys, and then you get into trouble. 1.00

01:27:45.000 Why were you better then?

01:27:46.000 What was your approach?

01:27:47.000 It's what I was talking about with writing before earlier.

01:27:49.000 I think you just let it flow.

01:27:50.000 Oh, you let it flow back then.

01:27:51.000 I wasn't too worried about it.

01:27:52.000 Now you calculate it.

01:27:53.000 Now you're looking for Mrs. Ben.

01:27:54.000 No, I'm being okay.

01:27:55.000 I'm getting better.

01:27:57.000 Better?

01:27:57.000 Mm-hmm.

01:27:58.000 How bad were you at your worst?

01:27:59.000 When you're like, I've hit rock bottom.

01:28:02.000 Probably 24, 25. What were you doing back then?

01:28:04.000 It's just kind of like an air of desperation in everything I said.

01:28:07.000 Oh, that's so sad.

01:28:08.000 Really?

01:28:09.000 Yeah, sure.

01:28:09.000 I've never had like the single years.

01:28:13.000 You know what I mean?

01:28:14.000 I've always been like the girlfriend.

01:28:16.000 One girlfriend, next girlfriend. 0.93

01:28:17.000 Yeah.

01:28:19.000 The single years are great if you're successful.

01:28:23.000 But if you're unsuccessful, it's horrible and lonely.

01:28:26.000 It can be very sad.

01:28:27.000 Well, and there's also that sort of, like, stigma of, like, I'm the man.

01:28:31.000 I need to take the lady out and impress her. 1.00

01:28:33.000 But it's like, I've been sleeping on my friend's couch for two months.

01:28:35.000 Do you want to go out?

01:28:37.000 Yeah, there's also that thing that you realize, like, when you're really struggling as an artist, I guess, as a musician.

01:28:44.000 Definitely as a comedian, it's very similar.

01:28:46.000 But you don't, you know, you know.

01:28:48.000 You don't have any money, you don't have nothing.

01:28:50.000 You have pure wits. 1.00

01:28:52.000 I don't believe in that shit, though. 1.00

01:28:53.000 That could go a long way. 1.00

01:28:54.000 I think that if wherever you're at and who you are and where you're going is up to whatever, I don't fucking know. 0.96

01:29:02.000 Allah? 0.96

01:29:04.000 The ether.

01:29:05.000 The ether?

01:29:06.000 Can we go with Buddha?

01:29:07.000 Stop playing guitar.

01:29:08.000 Can we say Buddha?

01:29:09.000 Yeah, sure.

01:29:10.000 Buddha. 0.96

01:29:11.000 But, you know, when you meet somebody that's like, I think you're fucking awesome. 0.53

01:29:14.000 I don't care that you're not where you want to be financially or professionally. 0.67

01:29:19.000 I think you're awesome. 0.99

01:29:20.000 What you need to do is run a background check on that motherfucker and find out if he's just using you for your apartment. 1.00

01:29:26.000 Definitely. 0.99

01:29:27.000 When was the last time?

01:29:28.000 How come you never go home, man?

01:29:29.000 Where's your clothes? 1.00

01:29:32.000 You didn't even have your own toothbrush, you fucking weirdo. 1.00

01:29:36.000 You're wearing my deodorant. 1.00

01:29:38.000 Go ahead.

01:29:38.000 Sorry.

01:29:39.000 Man, I dated two guys that wore women's deodorant. 1.00

01:29:42.000 I like it.

01:29:43.000 It smells like peaches.

01:29:44.000 But I wear men's deodorant, so take that for what it's worth. 0.98

01:29:47.000 What kind of men's deodorant do you wear?

01:29:49.000 I wear Dove.

01:29:49.000 Actually, it's in my purse.

01:29:51.000 Brian Callen just told me about some natural...

01:29:52.000 I love the way it smells.

01:29:53.000 It's so clean.

01:29:53.000 Brian Callen just told me about some natural deodorant that I have to try.

01:29:57.000 He said it's like an aloe vera-based deodorant that really works.

01:30:00.000 It's a natural deodorant.

01:30:01.000 And he's the first one to tell you that natural deodorants are most... 0.99

01:30:04.000 Most of the time they're bullshit. 0.99

01:30:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:30:06.000 They don't last long usually. 1.00

01:30:07.000 It's usually they last a couple hours, but it depends how smelly you are. 1.00

01:30:10.000 I'm a stinky motherfucker. 1.00

01:30:12.000 Yeah, you are. 1.00

01:30:12.000 Do you want some deodorant? 1.00

01:30:13.000 I've got some right here.

01:30:15.000 Strong enough for a man, made for men. 0.99

01:30:20.000 Yeah, I'm not that guy.

01:30:23.000 Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? 0.99

01:30:25.000 No.

01:30:26.000 No, if I put it on, there's going to be problems.

01:30:28.000 Okay.

01:30:29.000 What type of problems, Joe?

01:30:31.000 Like my...

01:30:31.000 Like your pit hair is going to get stuck in my deodorant.

01:30:34.000 My smell will go to war with that wimpy-ass fucking flowery foodie bullshit. 1.00

01:30:37.000 I said I wear men's deodorant. 1.00

01:30:39.000 No, I understand, but...

01:30:40.000 Yeah, I got your back.

01:30:40.000 Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?

01:30:43.000 Was that like sure?

01:30:44.000 What was that?

01:30:44.000 Secret.

01:30:45.000 Secret.

01:30:46.000 Secret.

01:30:46.000 It's strong enough for a man, but it's made for a woman.

01:30:50.000 Isn't that funny how, like, one advertising slogan like that can just fucking give a hoot, don't pollute? 0.99

01:30:56.000 That's stuck. 0.95

01:30:57.000 Skittles, like, taste the rainbow.

01:30:58.000 Ooh.

01:30:59.000 It's great!

01:31:00.000 It's the real thing.

01:31:01.000 Coke.

01:31:02.000 The real thing.

01:31:03.000 Coke's the real thing.

01:31:04.000 It'll clean your car battery.

01:31:06.000 That's for sure.

01:31:07.000 What?

01:31:07.000 Yeah.

01:31:07.000 I had a Coca-Cola yesterday, which I hadn't had years.

01:31:11.000 You had a few sips, and I had the other few sips.

01:31:13.000 You drained the whole thing when you weren't there.

01:31:14.000 No, you didn't, because I had a...

01:31:15.000 Okay.

01:31:16.000 How do you feel about yourself as a man?

01:31:18.000 Kind of bad.

01:31:19.000 Honestly, I wasn't into it.

01:31:21.000 When we find out that some people drink like eight or nine of those in a day.

01:31:24.000 That's crazy.

01:31:24.000 That is horrifying.

01:31:25.000 Or like, you know, when we're on the road, you see truckers come in with like a fucking big gulps, like the whole thing, and they'll fill the whole thing up with Mountain Dew, and the whole time I'm like, oh my god, cancer. 0.86

01:31:34.000 Like, I just think about that. 0.95

01:31:35.000 It's so bad for you.

01:31:36.000 I was driving across the country recently, and I looked at some truckers.

01:31:39.000 Sorry, I love everybody. 1.00

01:31:41.000 Don't drink that shit. 1.00

01:31:43.000 Just drink water, and then drink beer later, the good stuff. 1.00

01:31:46.000 I've been saying that for years.

01:31:47.000 I was looking at the back of some trucker's truck, and they were advertising four more drivers, and they said 50 cents a mile or something.

01:31:53.000 And the average is 6,000 miles.

01:31:55.000 You can't exceed a certain mileage limit.

01:31:57.000 And I realize what these dudes are doing, because sometimes I actually think about this, because we drive so much, and I'm like, if this doesn't work out, what am I qualified to do?

01:32:04.000 Music is what I meant.

01:32:06.000 I could be a truck driver, honestly, because I've driven so fucking much. 0.87

01:32:09.000 Sometimes I think about this. 0.99

01:32:10.000 You don't fucking believe that. 0.98

01:32:11.000 There's just thoughts that come into my head. 0.99

01:32:13.000 Why do you think about that? 0.99

01:32:14.000 You masochist. 0.94

01:32:14.000 Why do I think about that? 0.94

01:32:16.000 I don't know, just like a residual, hey man, you got like a fear, you know, residual fear from saying, okay, you're confronting something.

01:32:25.000 Yeah, I'm sorry I called you a masochist.

01:32:26.000 Yeah, no, I think it's a very natural thing, you know what I mean?

01:32:29.000 I'm going into a risky thing.

01:32:31.000 You know what, you could always come work for my, we could sell pizza together.

01:32:36.000 That's the truth.

01:32:36.000 I always think about that.

01:32:37.000 Like, oh shit, if this doesn't work, we'll move back to Cleveland and work at Santos Pizza and Pasta. 0.99

01:32:41.000 That's part of the reason I've invested in you so much because I know there's a backup contingency. 0.99

01:32:45.000 Look, I support you.

01:32:45.000 Honey Honey Band.

01:32:46.000 Follow them on Twitter and Instagram.

01:32:48.000 Honey Honey Band.

01:32:49.000 Don't stop talking.

01:32:52.000 They want you to love them.

01:32:54.000 Hey, speaking of advertisements...

01:32:56.000 Let's just talk about what you want to talk about.

01:32:59.000 It's fine.

01:32:59.000 We should talk about our tour.

01:33:01.000 Are you guys battling it out right now?

01:33:02.000 This is it, dude.

01:33:03.000 If this were...

01:33:04.000 Is your tour going out right now?

01:33:06.000 Joe, you don't even know.

01:33:07.000 Does it get ugly? 0.99

01:33:08.000 It gets fucking real, man. 0.99

01:33:09.000 It gets fucking real. 0.99

01:33:10.000 I don't want to hear that. 0.98

01:33:12.000 But that's real life.

01:33:13.000 That's natural.

01:33:14.000 But I want to think that you guys are the way you are when you're here all the time.

01:33:17.000 I want to think that you are the way everybody was on Cheers and they sat around the bar.

01:33:22.000 I don't want to think that anybody got on prescription antidepressants.

01:33:26.000 Where's that guy?

01:33:26.000 That's Taxi.

01:33:27.000 What are you talking about? 1.00

01:33:28.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 1.00

01:33:29.000 Go watch the Jets outside. 1.00

01:33:31.000 Woody Harrelson!

01:33:31.000 Woody Harrelson was in Cheers!

01:33:33.000 I was born in 1985. Wait, I thought he was in Cheers.

01:33:37.000 No, his wife was in Cheers. 0.97

01:33:38.000 Goddammit, thank you.

01:33:39.000 You were born in 1985?

01:33:40.000 Yes, sir.

01:33:41.000 That's when I graduated from high school.

01:33:42.000 I was 17. You were a baby.

01:33:44.000 Oh, my God.

01:33:44.000 And I was like, hi, baby.

01:33:45.000 I turned 30 in January.

01:33:46.000 Hi, little baby.

01:33:47.000 Oh, my God.

01:33:48.000 Are you scared?

01:33:48.000 Yeah, we're pre-30, man.

01:33:49.000 Now I'm excited.

01:33:50.000 You're both beautiful.

01:33:51.000 Hey, thanks, babe.

01:33:51.000 Thanks, Jeff.

01:33:52.000 Looking good.

01:33:53.000 I think you do, too, honestly.

01:33:54.000 Thank you, sweet darling.

01:33:55.000 Thank you very much.

01:33:56.000 You're very symmetrical.

01:33:57.000 Thank you.

01:33:58.000 I feel symmetrical.

01:33:58.000 Yeah.

01:34:00.000 In an odd way.

01:34:01.000 My geometry's off, though.

01:34:03.000 What do you mean?

01:34:04.000 Can I ask you?

01:34:06.000 You're a beautiful specimen of a man. 0.99

01:34:07.000 Can I completely fucking take a left-hand turn here? 0.96

01:34:11.000 This is something, because I think of questions in my life, and honestly, you're the only dude I can think of that might answer them. 1.00

01:34:17.000 Here comes some gay shit. 1.00

01:34:20.000 Again. 1.00

01:34:20.000 You know what? 1.00

01:34:21.000 Now you've made me timid.

01:34:22.000 I'm going to take a second.

01:34:24.000 I thought we were open here.

01:34:26.000 We don't know if the world's going to end in the next 20 minutes. 1.00

01:34:28.000 You know a lot about this shit. 0.99

01:34:29.000 Well, we have enough weed if it ends in the next 20 minutes. 0.99

01:34:31.000 If it goes more than an hour, we're going to have to go outside.

01:34:34.000 Okay, I want to be Seth Rogen's character.

01:34:36.000 We're going to have to call speed weed.

01:34:37.000 And this is the end.

01:34:38.000 Okay.

01:34:39.000 Oh, that was a great movie.

01:34:40.000 I know. 0.99

01:34:41.000 Goddamn, that movie was funny. 0.99

01:34:42.000 I want to go up into the light. 0.98

01:34:43.000 It's a rated movie, right?

01:34:44.000 When the demons come. 1.00

01:34:46.000 Fucking, what's his name? 1.00

01:34:47.000 Eastbound and Down? 1.00

01:34:48.000 Danny McBride?

01:34:49.000 Danny McBride.

01:34:50.000 He's the man.

01:34:51.000 He's the man.

01:34:52.000 He's the man.

01:34:53.000 He's one of my favorite people ever.

01:34:54.000 Love that guy.

01:34:55.000 You gotta get him on the podcast.

01:34:56.000 I would love to.

01:34:57.000 He probably wouldn't do it, but if he did, I'd hug him.

01:35:01.000 Would you kiss him on the mouth? 1.00

01:35:02.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

01:35:03.000 Is that what's all it took to get him on the podcast? 1.00

01:35:05.000 Is this a status thing so it begins?

01:35:08.000 No, I love him.

01:35:09.000 I'd kiss you on the mouth. 0.93

01:35:10.000 If I had to kiss you on the mouth to get you back on the podcast, I'd kiss you on the mouth. 1.00

01:35:14.000 Can I ask my fucking question? 1.00

01:35:15.000 What's your question? 1.00

01:35:17.000 I just have a weed question.

01:35:18.000 I might bite your lower lip just as a weed question. 0.80

01:35:20.000 Ben's gonna become derailed.

01:35:22.000 What's your question?

01:35:23.000 I already am.

01:35:23.000 He's a little...

01:35:24.000 Did you guys argue before you got here?

01:35:26.000 Is this what's going on?

01:35:26.000 No, today was a really good day.

01:35:28.000 Like Ice Cube?

01:35:29.000 Good day?

01:35:30.000 Or like first day on Celexa.

01:35:36.000 Oh my god.

01:35:38.000 I don't even care about my question anymore.

01:35:40.000 What was your question, brother?

01:35:40.000 It's just about weed.

01:35:41.000 So I used to smoke a ton of weed.

01:35:43.000 Just too much weed. 1.00

01:35:44.000 What happened, pussy? 1.00

01:35:44.000 You're not even 30. No, I can't. 1.00

01:35:47.000 I hit the wall.

01:35:48.000 I don't feel like this is a safe space.

01:35:50.000 I got to lie!

01:35:51.000 This doesn't feel like a safe space anymore.

01:35:53.000 I'm confused.

01:35:55.000 Am I on a planet?

01:35:57.000 Hey guys, Ben is in a safe space.

01:35:59.000 Stick up for me.

01:36:00.000 I will.

01:36:00.000 Sort of in a safe space.

01:36:01.000 There's a werewolf right out that door.

01:36:03.000 You know what doesn't help? 1.00

01:36:04.000 I know, and I'll fucking beat the shit out of that werewolf. 1.00

01:36:06.000 I love you so much. 0.99

01:36:07.000 You know what doesn't help?

01:36:08.000 A lot when...

01:36:09.000 God, am I being misogynistic?

01:36:11.000 When I'm struggling and you come up and save me.

01:36:14.000 It's kind of like, oh.

01:36:15.000 Yeah, you are being misogynistic.

01:36:16.000 No, that's a little misogynistic.

01:36:21.000 No, Suzanne was a man. 0.99

01:36:23.000 If you were Sam instead of Suzanne, and a man had to save you every time you fucking hit the wall, then the dream would have come down. 1.00

01:36:30.000 He'd be like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:36:31.000 First of all, I think you need to let go of that. 1.00

01:36:34.000 We're partners, so we take care of each other.

01:36:36.000 Still haven't asked my question.

01:36:37.000 And I know you can answer your question, but you are being misogynistic. 0.99

01:36:40.000 If I were a dude and I was like, yo, bro, my fucking dude's got something to say. 0.99

01:36:45.000 Did you guys know that Brody Stevens is 84% gay? 0.99

01:36:48.000 Who's Brody Stevens?

01:36:49.000 I don't know who that is either.

01:36:50.000 Is that your dad?

01:36:54.000 Inside joke.

01:36:55.000 Who's Brody Stevens?

01:36:56.000 He might as well be.

01:36:57.000 I'd love him like a father.

01:36:59.000 What's your question?

01:37:00.000 Ben, what's your question?

01:37:01.000 Okay.

01:37:02.000 Okay.

01:37:02.000 So I didn't smoke weed for a while and I do it every once in a while.

01:37:04.000 And I feel like I get a cognitive boost when I do it.

01:37:08.000 Am I crazy?

01:37:09.000 No.

01:37:09.000 What is that?

01:37:10.000 What element of marijuana slash THC is doing that?

01:37:14.000 Well...

01:37:15.000 It's like cocaine.

01:37:16.000 P.S. There's a rule.

01:37:17.000 Ben can't smoke weed when we're working because he's like, you want to do this?

01:37:21.000 You want to do that? 0.99

01:37:21.000 Oh, that's a great fucking idea. 0.99

01:37:23.000 Just to frame the situation, if we have to do an all-night drive, I'll smoke because I can't fall asleep. 0.99

01:37:31.000 Literally, if I smoke, it would be about five hours before I go to sleep.

01:37:34.000 Well, I would imagine it's because the way your body reacts to cannabis is that your body, your creativity starts to fire up.

01:37:44.000 And your mind starts to embrace different possibilities than you would do if you were sober.

01:37:51.000 It relaxes your inhibitions a little and lets you pursue ideas that maybe because of the fact that you're in this precarious position in your career, in your life, and that you're constantly filled with angst like most 30-year-old men.

01:38:04.000 29. Fuck, I'm 47. I'm filled with it. 0.99

01:38:08.000 No, you're not.

01:38:08.000 Yes, I'm 47. What the fuck, Joe?

01:38:10.000 Wow, you guys fucking did it. 1.00

01:38:12.000 But Red Band's 40. Yeah. 1.00

01:38:13.000 You got some youthful motherfuckers. 1.00

01:38:14.000 But we don't work. 1.00

01:38:15.000 Oh, right.

01:38:16.000 We don't have real jobs.

01:38:18.000 Yes, you do.

01:38:19.000 No, they don't.

01:38:20.000 I'm telling you.

01:38:20.000 I'm telling you I don't.

01:38:21.000 What's a real job?

01:38:22.000 Do you make a living?

01:38:25.000 No, no, no.

01:38:25.000 Trust me.

01:38:26.000 Trust me.

01:38:26.000 A real job is doing something you don't want to do, but you do it anyway.

01:38:30.000 We don't have real jobs.

01:38:31.000 Brian, do you have a real job?

01:38:31.000 Look, I was getting literal.

01:38:33.000 Brian doesn't have a real job.

01:38:33.000 I don't have a real job.

01:38:34.000 There's no real jobs here.

01:38:35.000 There's no real jobs.

01:38:36.000 That's a big part of aging is to regret and despair.

01:38:39.000 You're not in the weeds anymore.

01:38:41.000 You're smoking weeds.

01:38:43.000 Perfectly said.

01:38:44.000 That's the perfect way to say it.

01:38:48.000 My point being, everybody who smokes weed, who doesn't smoke it very often, it has a big impact on you.

01:38:58.000 Marijuana is one of those things where it hits you when you don't do it a lot.

01:39:02.000 It hits you harder, faster, and more profoundly.

01:39:06.000 Because you have these things in your brain, allegedly, apparently, from what I've read, Called cannabinoid receptors that are literally designed to accept the influence of cannabis.

01:39:17.000 And that's what they're there for.

01:39:19.000 And it comes from a just gigantic history of human beings consuming cannabis.

01:39:24.000 These cannabinoid receptors are also fired, they believe, when people do long-distance running, like jogging.

01:39:30.000 People say they get that runner's high.

01:39:32.000 It has a similar sort of an effect.

01:39:34.000 So endorphins, you mean?

01:39:35.000 Well, there's a bunch of different things that happen inside the mind.

01:39:37.000 There's different neurotransmitters that get activated.

01:39:40.000 There's dopamine and serotonin.

01:39:42.000 A lot of those are exercise related.

01:39:43.000 But a lot of those are also related to the consumption of psychedelic plants.

01:39:47.000 And marijuana is a big one.

01:39:49.000 It's a giant part. 0.97

01:39:50.000 See, we have this fucking idea that everything that is the way it is from the time that we've been alive and our parents have been alive and the fucking just say no to drugs from the The Reagan administration was here, that this is the way the world has always been. 0.95

01:40:03.000 It's not. 0.99

01:40:04.000 The world has been about consuming cannabis for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. 0.80

01:40:09.000 But we're growing up in a society where fucking financial interests have figured out a way to control the consumption of gigantic amounts of people, the consumption of one of the most fantastic plants the world has ever known. 0.97

01:40:22.000 So, when you do get a hold of one, and it It fires you up and you start thinking about shit and you're flying through space and you have all these ideas. 0.97

01:40:29.000 What it is is because it's awesome. 0.95

01:40:33.000 That's why.

01:40:34.000 That's the only reason. 0.99

01:40:36.000 Why you smoke it and you just can't shut the fuck up because you're driving across country? 0.99

01:40:39.000 Those are thoughts that you're caging up in your mind. 0.98

01:40:42.000 Like you've got a pinata of ideas.

01:40:45.000 And you come along with a hatchet.

01:40:47.000 And the hatchet, it's in the shape of a joint.

01:40:49.000 And you fire up that joint and it just... 1.00

01:40:52.000 Shop away at that stupid fucking fake elephant. 1.00

01:40:55.000 And candy comes pouring out. 1.00

01:40:57.000 And that candy is these ideas that you've been sort of containing in your mind and storing up and processing with no outlet.

01:41:05.000 And just backing up.

01:41:07.000 Chemically, what's doing that?

01:41:10.000 I'm obviously not a neuroscientist.

01:41:12.000 Oh, okay.

01:41:13.000 And I probably have brain damage.

01:41:14.000 So what you should do, if I would suggest, if I wasn't me, I would say, don't listen to that dude.

01:41:19.000 He's probably got a couple good ideas that he memorized from some website.

01:41:23.000 But everything else is most likely nonsense.

01:41:26.000 So what you should do is Google.

01:41:27.000 Google the marijuana's effects on the mind.

01:41:29.000 And just... 1.00

01:41:30.000 There's a lot of bullshit out there. 1.00

01:41:32.000 P.S. I think it affects everyone very differently. 1.00

01:41:37.000 Which is also strange.

01:41:38.000 The same weed that we could smoke together.

01:41:40.000 Is it though?

01:41:40.000 Because that's everything.

01:41:41.000 It's peanuts.

01:41:42.000 Some people eat fish.

01:41:44.000 Some people eat shellfish and they die.

01:41:46.000 But I think that's a minority.

01:41:47.000 That's a tiny minority.

01:41:49.000 No, no, no.

01:41:49.000 Come on.

01:41:50.000 No, it's not a minority.

01:41:52.000 It's a minority in terms of it's less than 100% of the population.

01:41:56.000 It's less than 50%.

01:41:57.000 It's probably less than 10% of people who are allergic to like Whatever, cats.

01:42:01.000 There's people that'll die if they're in a room filled with cats.

01:42:04.000 Yeah.

01:42:05.000 You know?

01:42:05.000 It's true.

01:42:06.000 Biodiversity's real.

01:42:07.000 Well, it's like you could drink a glass of wine and be fine. 1.00

01:42:10.000 You could drink a glass of vodka and be a fucking lunatic. 1.00

01:42:15.000 Yeah, but nobody... 1.00

01:42:16.000 The way that your body receives these things is complex and, you know...

01:42:20.000 But that's just alcohol by volume.

01:42:22.000 Sure.

01:42:23.000 A glass of wine only has a certain amount.

01:42:25.000 A glass of vodka has much more.

01:42:27.000 Yeah.

01:42:28.000 I was just basically talking about what you were just saying is that every person is different.

01:42:31.000 Everything affects them differently.

01:42:33.000 Definitely.

01:42:33.000 I'm really sensitive to weed.

01:42:36.000 Do you get high just being in this room? 0.99

01:42:37.000 I'm fucking off my rocker right now. 0.99

01:42:40.000 Also, I'm kind of drunk. 0.99

01:42:41.000 Let's find out.

01:42:41.000 I'm kind of drunk.

01:42:42.000 It's hard to tell.

01:42:43.000 I'm a little drunk.

01:42:45.000 Do you guys want to hear my stone chord?

01:42:48.000 Yes.

01:42:48.000 Yeah.

01:42:49.000 But I have to pee.

01:42:50.000 Go pee.

01:42:51.000 Okay.

01:42:51.000 Whenever I talk about being stoned, I go like this.

01:42:57.000 I'll see you later.

01:43:07.000 Let's have the bands back together.

01:43:10.000 In the sunshine of your life.

01:43:16.000 That's beautiful, man.

01:43:17.000 That is beautiful.

01:43:18.000 Yeah.

01:43:21.000 But I think it affects you, to answer your question, in all earnestness.

01:43:26.000 I think it's just because you don't do it a lot.

01:43:28.000 Okay, I can accept that.

01:43:30.000 But I just got curious.

01:43:32.000 Well, when I take time off, it does that.

01:43:34.000 Okay.

01:43:36.000 I'm just curious about what specific process is happening to make me feel like, holy shit, I actually have access to all these different thought patterns now.

01:43:45.000 You know, I don't...

01:43:45.000 Let me give you some advice, my friend.

01:43:47.000 Yes, yes, please tell me. 1.00

01:43:48.000 When a hard-on comes, don't question how I got my dick so hard. 1.00

01:43:53.000 Just accept the fact that your penis is in fact ready. 1.00

01:43:57.000 Don't think of pills. 1.00

01:43:59.000 Okay.

01:44:00.000 Look, your body is flowing in a wash of chemicals. 0.99

01:44:04.000 Is it your fault that the baby Jesus did not bless you with the proper dick chemicals? 0.99

01:44:08.000 No, it is not. 0.98

01:44:10.000 I just gotta accept it.

01:44:11.000 I gotta live with what I got.

01:44:12.000 You don't have to live with what you got.

01:44:14.000 What are you talking about?

01:44:15.000 What's my choice?

01:44:15.000 Because people are smarter than the creator.

01:44:18.000 People have figured Viagra. 1.00

01:44:20.000 You know, the creator said, listen, I want you to hit about 52, 53, and you dick's gonna punch out. 1.00

01:44:27.000 Dick's going to go, that's about it. 1.00

01:44:28.000 I just got to say this.

01:44:29.000 My dad was 63 when he had me. 1.00

01:44:31.000 Do you watch him fuck? 1.00

01:44:33.000 Every time. 1.00

01:44:34.000 Every time.

01:44:35.000 He probably takes...

01:44:35.000 Every single time.

01:44:37.000 He probably takes bamboo and ties it to his dick and stretches it out to keep it hard. 1.00

01:44:43.000 Tapes it in place. 1.00

01:44:44.000 Thank you for saying that beautiful thing.

01:44:46.000 When you watch him, do you just look back at it?

01:44:48.000 Like, hate it?

01:44:49.000 It's kind of like I'm seeing my own future.

01:44:52.000 Duct tape and kite string. 1.00

01:44:53.000 He just keeps his cock. 1.00

01:44:55.000 No, but I'm serious. 0.99

01:44:55.000 I'm proud of my dad about this, honestly, because I have a very old dad. 0.99

01:44:59.000 My dad's super fucking old. 0.97

01:45:00.000 How old's he now? 0.99

01:45:01.000 Guess.

01:45:02.000 80. Nope.

01:45:03.000 1,000.

01:45:04.000 Almost.

01:45:05.000 92. 92. 93. Oh my god, how's he doing?

01:45:10.000 He just broke his hip.

01:45:13.000 But he's okay.

01:45:14.000 He's doing great, man, because he's keeping...

01:45:15.000 He has a seriously...

01:45:17.000 He is all the way there.

01:45:19.000 He's with you.

01:45:19.000 You know what I mean?

01:45:20.000 And he's keeping the attitude. 0.96

01:45:21.000 He recognizes that if he gets depressed, which is totally reasonable, the fact that if he falls down, which is what happened, he tripped, fell down, and fucking broke the ball off of his hip. 0.96

01:45:31.000 Just by falling down. 0.94

01:45:33.000 His bones are that brittle.

01:45:34.000 But he knows that if he accepts that as, I don't know, as serious as some people might, he's done.

01:45:42.000 He's literally done.

01:45:44.000 So he's with it, man.

01:45:46.000 He's positive.

01:45:47.000 He's feeling good.

01:45:48.000 That's all of our future. 0.99

01:45:50.000 I mean, we're all going to be 93 if we don't get hit in the head by a fucking meteor or if those jets don't mean business. 0.99

01:45:56.000 This could be the last day. 0.99

01:45:58.000 I would have enjoyed it.

01:46:00.000 That's one of the big problems of being a person, is that we all have the ability to understand that we're finite.

01:46:07.000 We all know it, we rationalize it, we have it in our head, but it never sort of reaches our immediate consciousness.

01:46:14.000 It always sort of sits in the periphery as some future possibility.

01:46:19.000 You know what I think is the trickling down of that?

01:46:23.000 Mindset is us looking at our times as unique in terms of how desperate things are or how close we are to the edge of something.

01:46:33.000 The idea that, okay, this is it.

01:46:36.000 Look at all this chaos in the world.

01:46:38.000 I think it's always been like that.

01:46:40.000 But our way of communicating with mortality is saying, no, this time is unique.

01:46:45.000 Well, this time is unique, though.

01:46:47.000 Well, of course it's unique in the sense that the events that are happening now have never happened before.

01:46:51.000 I think that's the number one draw of it.

01:46:53.000 I mean, it's nice to be nostalgic and look at it in relationship to the times that were unique in the 70s and the 60s and the 40s.

01:47:03.000 Every time has been the pinnacle of human interaction.

01:47:08.000 Exactly.

01:47:09.000 Like, at this moment right now, 2014, we are at the front of the line.

01:47:13.000 Of what it is to be a person.

01:47:15.000 We really are.

01:47:16.000 We're at the front.

01:47:17.000 We're at the front with phones.

01:47:19.000 We're at the front with social media.

01:47:20.000 We've evolved.

01:47:21.000 With this. 0.99

01:47:22.000 This is fucking crazy. 0.99

01:47:24.000 With podcasts. 0.98

01:47:25.000 What we're doing right now.

01:47:26.000 The ability to talk to people.

01:47:29.000 Like, do you really be Ben?

01:47:30.000 Do you really be Suzanne?

01:47:31.000 Do you really be me?

01:47:32.000 Brian is sort of him. 0.99

01:47:35.000 But even he is confused as to what the fuck is going on. 0.98

01:47:40.000 Brian, you look fucking amazing, dude. 0.99

01:47:41.000 You look fucking great. 0.99

01:47:42.000 We just learned that Brian's 40 years old. 1.00

01:47:44.000 He's a sexy bitch! 1.00

01:47:46.000 Skin like a newborn, honestly. 1.00

01:47:47.000 Look at his mustache.

01:47:48.000 Got all his hair, keeping the weight off.

01:47:49.000 He's got a good woman in his life.

01:47:51.000 Should go to...

01:47:52.000 Dinner.

01:47:53.000 He doesn't have a job.

01:47:54.000 I have a show after this.

01:47:56.000 I'm doing the Ice House in Pasadena, and then I'm doing the improv.

01:47:59.000 Does this mean we're not hanging out after?

01:48:01.000 We're hanging out.

01:48:02.000 Can I backtrack for one second?

01:48:04.000 What you just said, Ben, calm down.

01:48:06.000 Sorry.

01:48:06.000 We live in the same town.

01:48:07.000 What you were just saying about where we're at right now evolved, and we're on this podcast, and we're speaking in our truth, in our own way.

01:48:18.000 That gives me hope.

01:48:19.000 Because all of the sort of sanitized media and the things that you are given on a regular basis and the information that's coming through, I'm always doubtful.

01:48:31.000 I'm always weary and nervous.

01:48:35.000 I just don't believe it.

01:48:37.000 I mean, I'm sure there's some actual...

01:48:41.000 You know, reality to it, but I think there's always an agenda with major media market and whatever.

01:48:47.000 Right, right, right.

01:48:48.000 Are we talking about different things here?

01:48:49.000 No, no, [...

01:48:51.000 But as far as, you know, you were talking about, like, the current state of, like, our mortality and, you know, our visual of, like, ooh, it's really bad or it's how it is.

01:49:03.000 I think that...

01:49:06.000 The way that we perceive the world now, you have options.

01:49:11.000 And options like podcasts or really learning about someone else's viewpoint from their, like right out of the horse's mouth on a podcast that's not funded by, you know, a major oil company or something.

01:49:28.000 Right.

01:49:29.000 That's where I feel a little more comfort.

01:49:31.000 Right.

01:49:32.000 Am I confusing anybody?

01:49:34.000 No, no.

01:49:34.000 We're having this conversation.

01:49:36.000 We're friends.

01:49:37.000 It doesn't matter.

01:49:38.000 We're doing a different thing than we would be doing if we were just hanging out.

01:49:41.000 Sure.

01:49:42.000 Because we know that people are listening.

01:49:43.000 So we're doing this different thing where we're trying to be really clear.

01:49:46.000 You're doing a great job of trying not to talk over Suzanne.

01:49:50.000 I'm not good at that.

01:49:51.000 It's okay.

01:49:52.000 I'm working on it.

01:49:55.000 What we're doing is there's no other influences other than us.

01:49:58.000 We know what we're doing.

01:49:59.000 We have this idea that, okay, we're putting out something that people are going to receive and it's going to be entertaining.

01:50:04.000 And we have our minor biases.

01:50:07.000 We're in a band. 0.85

01:50:09.000 We sound a record deal and all this shit, but we're not – I understand what you're saying. 0.94

01:50:13.000 I think I'm just trying to be super literalist. 0.78

01:50:15.000 I'm sorry.

01:50:16.000 No, I don't even think it's that.

01:50:17.000 We do this all the time.

01:50:19.000 It's a weird form of expression, right?

01:50:22.000 It's a weird form of expression where you're talking, but you also know that people are listening.

01:50:28.000 But the beautiful thing is...

01:50:31.000 There's no interruptions, and no one is telling you yes or no.

01:50:35.000 Like, there's no publicist that's standing over your shoulder saying this is bad for your career.

01:50:39.000 There's no bean counter who's saying, listen, Ben, if you admit to gay thoughts and wanting to kiss Brian Redman on the mouth because of his beautiful mustache, this is going to cost us 14 records an hour.

01:50:53.000 Worth it. 0.93

01:50:54.000 Worth every penny, babe.

01:50:55.000 Look at that mouth. 0.99

01:50:56.000 Come on.

01:50:57.000 We'll take that. 0.99

01:50:57.000 I mean, they might fucking break it. 0.99

01:50:59.000 I don't even see that as a bad thing. 0.98

01:51:00.000 That's not even a sacrifice. 1.00

01:51:01.000 Yeah, those 14 people are cunts. 0.99

01:51:02.000 Yeah, there's no free lunches. 1.00

01:51:04.000 Cunty fucking shitty. 1.00

01:51:05.000 Don't ever lose that cunty charm. 1.00

01:51:06.000 Let me express my love. 1.00

01:51:08.000 Never losing my cunty charm or my fucking fanny pack. 1.00

01:51:11.000 Both of those things stay to the To the grave. 1.00

01:51:14.000 You have a fanny pack, Joe?

01:51:16.000 Do I sell them?

01:51:16.000 Yes, I do.

01:51:17.000 Have I run out of them?

01:51:19.000 Yes.

01:51:19.000 Are you selling coffee?

01:51:21.000 Are you selling coffee?

01:51:22.000 No, this is my buddy.

01:51:23.000 This is Tate.

01:51:24.000 No interest in this business. 1.00

01:51:26.000 I want a goddamn fanny pack. 0.99

01:51:27.000 I mean, other than friendship interest. 1.00

01:51:29.000 No financial interest.

01:51:29.000 But we talked last time about bulletproof coffee.

01:51:32.000 Yeah, Caveman Coffee is my friend Tate and my friend Keith Jardine.

01:51:36.000 They have this company that they sell.

01:51:38.000 Single source coffee from this farm.

01:51:40.000 Is it Colombia or Nicaragua? 0.99

01:51:42.000 I think it's, I want to say Columbia, but it's just the fucking salt of the earth. 0.96

01:51:46.000 Those dudes are, I love Keith, and Tate is my brother, so I wear this shirt. 0.95

01:51:51.000 It's a good looking shirt.

01:51:51.000 Out of respect!

01:51:52.000 Yeah, word.

01:51:53.000 Respect!

01:51:54.000 Wait, where's your show?

01:51:55.000 Can we go to your show later?

01:51:56.000 Yeah, you want to come?

01:51:57.000 Yeah, I've got the Ice House at- In Pasadena?

01:51:59.000 Yeah, at 8, and then I'm at the Improv 10 o'clock show tonight. 0.99

01:52:02.000 Holy shit! 0.99

01:52:03.000 Man, you work! 1.00

01:52:04.000 Well, I'm working on some new shit, so I've got to bang out some new jokes. 0.98

01:52:09.000 My Comedy Central special airs November 21st, so I'm in this weird scramble, trying to reconstruct the scaffolding of my next hour. 0.97

01:52:17.000 Right now, it's really exciting.

01:52:18.000 We can't wait to see it.

01:52:19.000 We're very excited.

01:52:20.000 Thank you so much.

01:52:21.000 Man, thank you for putting our song in it.

01:52:23.000 Oh, dude.

01:52:24.000 Did you know that?

01:52:24.000 No.

01:52:25.000 Of course I did.

01:52:26.000 I picked it.

01:52:26.000 Punk'd it.

01:52:27.000 I love that song.

01:52:28.000 Yeah, the beginning trailer is me asleep in a field in the mountains of Colorado, and your song is playing in the background.

01:52:36.000 And I run to the...

01:52:38.000 Oh, my God.

01:52:38.000 Thank you so much.

01:52:39.000 We're going to be in Denver next week.

01:52:41.000 Oh, snappa. 1.00

01:52:42.000 You hired it.

01:52:43.000 Where are you guys at?

01:52:45.000 We're going to be in Aspen.

01:52:47.000 We're going to play in the Larimer Lounge in Denver.

01:52:50.000 Oh, sweet.

01:52:50.000 And then Beaver Creek, which is...

01:52:51.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:52:53.000 Beaver Creek. 1.00

01:52:54.000 We're going to Texas.

01:52:55.000 We're going to New Mexico.

01:52:56.000 Albuquerque!

01:52:56.000 Dallas!

01:52:57.000 We're going to Louisiana.

01:52:58.000 Monroe! 1.00

01:52:58.000 You ain't fucking around! 1.00

01:52:59.000 You're going to Monroe! 0.99

01:53:00.000 Hey, y'all.

01:53:01.000 We end in California here in Los Angeles on November 1st.

01:53:07.000 What is in California?

01:53:08.000 What is it?

01:53:08.000 Our last show of the tour.

01:53:10.000 Do you want to come?

01:53:11.000 If I'm here...

01:53:11.000 Hold on.

01:53:12.000 November 1st?

01:53:12.000 Hold on.

01:53:13.000 You want to party?

01:53:13.000 Hold on.

01:53:14.000 It's a Saturday.

01:53:15.000 Listen, we've got to be really careful.

01:53:16.000 It's a fun day.

01:53:17.000 Day after Halloween.

01:53:18.000 I know.

01:53:19.000 So you have to take your...

01:53:21.000 Your monkey suit off.

01:53:22.000 What time is it?

01:53:23.000 My monkey suit?

01:53:24.000 You mean my chest hair?

01:53:26.000 No.

01:53:26.000 You're telling me to shave?

01:53:28.000 Never.

01:53:29.000 Not for a second.

01:53:30.000 I don't want subtlety.

01:53:31.000 No.

01:53:31.000 I want directions.

01:53:32.000 November 1st.

01:53:34.000 We want you exactly as you are.

01:53:36.000 I want you...

01:53:38.000 Oh, sorry.

01:53:39.000 I'm going to be in...

01:53:39.000 Stop it, Joe.

01:53:40.000 British Columbia.

01:53:41.000 Stop breaking our hearts.

01:53:42.000 I'm hunting.

01:53:43.000 Hey, we should...

01:53:45.000 Biscuits.

01:53:46.000 We should go hunting.

01:53:48.000 We should also do another show together because that would be really fun. 1.00

01:53:51.000 Fuck yeah. 0.98

01:53:51.000 I mean, we did the one December 21st, 2012. That was fucking awesome. 0.98

01:53:54.000 That was like almost two years ago. 0.96

01:53:56.000 I was so excited because Bill Burr was backstage and I just love him so much.

01:54:00.000 I love him so much too.

01:54:01.000 He came down to hang out with us.

01:54:02.000 He's great.

01:54:03.000 He's awesome.

01:54:04.000 He's a sweet guy, too.

01:54:05.000 He's a really, really, genuinely good guy.

01:54:09.000 For comics, to see other comics that are really supportive and friendly is so important.

01:54:14.000 So he just showed up to hang out with me and Joey and Duncan. 0.94

01:54:17.000 That's fucking awesome. 0.96

01:54:18.000 And you guys. 0.95

01:54:19.000 You didn't want to hang out with us.

01:54:21.000 Do you like him?

01:54:21.000 I don't know him personally.

01:54:23.000 I like his podcast, man.

01:54:24.000 I think it's cool.

01:54:25.000 I hear good things, but I don't know him too much.

01:54:29.000 I don't hang out with him.

01:54:29.000 Maybe do a double podcast.

01:54:31.000 Whatever, whatever.

01:54:32.000 Whatever, whatever.

01:54:34.000 If you want to do it two years after the end of the world show, that would be fucking pretty badass.

01:54:38.000 Bring it on.

01:54:39.000 We should do that.

01:54:40.000 Just to prove that we're still alive.

01:54:41.000 Two years.

01:54:42.000 Like, Mayans were wrong. 0.99

01:54:43.000 X 24 months.

01:54:44.000 Still here.

01:54:45.000 Still here. 0.99

01:54:46.000 Although, we don't know because those fucking fighter jets that just went overhead. 0.99

01:54:49.000 What's going to happen? 1.00

01:54:51.000 Somebody's going to die.

01:54:52.000 I'm not scared.

01:54:53.000 Eventually, they're going to run out of gas.

01:54:54.000 They're going to have to land.

01:54:56.000 People will overwhelm them with slingshots.

01:54:59.000 Yeah.

01:54:59.000 I know.

01:55:00.000 If the world ended and we were right here, it would be cool.

01:55:02.000 Joe, with all of your adventures that you go on, space travel, is that on the docket? 0.99

01:55:08.000 Put some fucking ice and whiskey in that glass. 1.00

01:55:10.000 Let's talk about this shit. 1.00

01:55:13.000 This is what I think. 1.00

01:55:16.000 I'm available for space travel about a decade into successful space travel for civilians.

01:55:23.000 Meaning, once Richard Branson has hit the 2029 mark, and pretty much no one's dying anymore.

01:55:30.000 The singularity would have come at that point.

01:55:31.000 That's good.

01:55:32.000 Let them get all the kinks out. 1.00

01:55:35.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:55:35.000 Iron that shit out. 1.00

01:55:36.000 Let those over-eager motherfuckers... 1.00

01:55:38.000 You don't want to be on the ship that doesn't make it. 1.00

01:55:41.000 Remember that?

01:55:42.000 Lance Bass?

01:55:42.000 He signed up early.

01:55:44.000 He's all about NASA, yeah.

01:55:46.000 Well, how about the people?

01:55:46.000 There's over 100,000 people that have signed up as potential people to live on Mars.

01:55:55.000 Be the first people to move to Mars.

01:55:57.000 Did someone just growl?

01:55:59.000 No, he made a noise. 0.99

01:56:00.000 That's fucking weird. 0.99

01:56:01.000 How do you do that? 0.99

01:56:02.000 You just breathe in?

01:56:03.000 Are you an alien?

01:56:04.000 I think he has a male face.

01:56:06.000 And it makes different noises.

01:56:07.000 That'll do it.

01:56:10.000 Please stop.

01:56:12.000 I'm so scared.

01:56:14.000 Who needs pills, Brian? 1.00

01:56:16.000 Could you imagine if you moved to Mars and you found a fucking sign? 1.00

01:56:19.000 You were digging, like trying to plant tomatoes. 0.99

01:56:22.000 I think about it all the time. 1.00

01:56:23.000 A sign that said, get the fuck out of here, quick. 0.99

01:56:25.000 What? 1.00

01:56:26.000 Do you guys remember that movie with Ice Cube and it was about like Mars, fuck, what was it called? 0.99

01:56:33.000 Friday? 0.98

01:56:33.000 It was a horror film and people die. 0.98

01:56:37.000 It's very dark.

01:56:37.000 Oh, it was a John Carpenter movie.

01:56:39.000 Yeah.

01:56:39.000 Yeah, I remember that.

01:56:40.000 I remember seeing that when I was a young teenager.

01:56:43.000 God, I don't remember too much about that, but it was some Mars movie.

01:56:47.000 Yeah, well, it kind of had like a zombie feel to it, which I just don't like.

01:56:53.000 The idea of Mars, to me, is like living in the shittiest neighborhood of all time.

01:56:58.000 There's no plants.

01:57:00.000 There's no life.

01:57:01.000 Bad air quality.

01:57:01.000 You can't go outside and even breathe the air.

01:57:04.000 You're relying on human inventions to keep oxygen.

01:57:05.000 You've been wearing the same shirt for two weeks. 1.00

01:57:07.000 How about the rest of your life, bitch? 1.00

01:57:08.000 Okay, fine. 1.00

01:57:09.000 Don't call me...

01:57:10.000 Not you.

01:57:11.000 The person on the island of Mars itself.

01:57:17.000 You know, the really scary thing about Mars is when they keep finding all this water on it.

01:57:21.000 They keep finding all these, like, former rivers and former lakes.

01:57:24.000 And it makes you...

01:57:25.000 It really cements in your head that, like, Earth could be just like that one day.

01:57:32.000 Like, we could get hit with... 0.99

01:57:34.000 Not like what killed all the dinosaurs, but something fucking crazier. 0.99

01:57:38.000 We can get hit with some... 0.99

01:57:39.000 Instead of five miles wide...

01:57:41.000 Well, yeah, that can happen.

01:57:42.000 Yeah.

01:57:43.000 Hypernovas, like in a nearby galaxy, just cooks everything. 0.85

01:57:47.000 And sometimes, asteroidal impacts, planets collide, and the fucking entire atmosphere of the planet changes. 0.55

01:57:55.000 It's not just common, it's the standard. 0.98

01:57:58.000 Every fucking planet, if you look at the moon, if you look at Earth, everything's littered with impacts. 0.98

01:58:05.000 Every planet we've ever found, littered with asteroidal impacts. 1.00

01:58:08.000 People are actually robots.

01:58:09.000 Just kidding.

01:58:10.000 Do you think that we have the technological capacity to prevent that kind of thing?

01:58:18.000 Because we'd know it was coming at this point.

01:58:21.000 Or at least there's a good chance of it.

01:58:23.000 This is what I think.

01:58:24.000 Tell me.

01:58:24.000 Everything other than what is absolutely positive that we can do, whether it's air travel, whether it's travel into space, space stations, is essentially theoretical.

01:58:35.000 Unless we've done it, they don't know.

01:58:37.000 We can do it.

01:58:38.000 They assume that we can get away with going to Mars.

01:58:41.000 But it could very well be that they get out into deep space and they find out that the magnetosphere and the atmosphere of the Earth is protecting us in ways from long trips Special risks, especially radiation,

01:58:57.000 asteroids, micrometeors.

01:58:59.000 What, sir?

01:58:59.000 You get your hands up?

01:59:00.000 Yes.

01:59:01.000 Yes, Ben.

01:59:01.000 Ben from Honey Honey.

01:59:03.000 What is the magnetosphere?

01:59:05.000 Well, there's a surface of the Earth, right?

01:59:09.000 You've got your dirt, you've got your water, you've got what you can touch.

01:59:12.000 And then above it, you have various layers of gases.

01:59:15.000 You have oxygen, you have the magnetosphere, you have an ozone.

01:59:21.000 There's a bunch of things that surround the Earth.

01:59:24.000 So the magnetosphere is one of the layers of the Earth? 0.91

01:59:27.000 I would do a piss-poor job of describing it because obviously my education is piss-poor.

01:59:32.000 But essentially what's going on is you have the atmosphere of the planet and it goes from, say, like one inch, you know, like touching the ground to, you know, X amount of miles up in the sky until we essentially start calling it space.

01:59:45.000 And then from there on you have the Van Allen radiation belts which engulf the Earth, these radiation belts which, you know, are like a donut-shaped Like, band of radiation that encircles the Earth.

01:59:58.000 And then, outside of that, you have deep space.

02:00:01.000 And there's no protection out there.

02:00:02.000 All that other stuff, the atmosphere, all the other stuff, protects us from things like gamma rays, from solar flares, from supernovas. 0.90

02:00:11.000 If, like, there was some sort of a supernova in a nearby galaxy and gamma rays went flying through the fucking galaxy.

02:00:16.000 Now, this is stuff that's unique to Earth, or just unique to planets in general? 0.95

02:00:21.000 Neither.

02:00:21.000 I mean, atmospheres, we know for a fact there's atmospheres in many planets, in many different solar systems that we've found throughout the universe, including binary solar systems, which mean they have two different stars, and we've also detected simple gases, like different gases.

02:00:38.000 That exists on Earth, whether it's hydrogen or oxygen.

02:00:41.000 They've detected those on a lot of planets now.

02:00:43.000 It was just like a decade ago when they didn't know how many planets there were out there.

02:00:47.000 I was just guessing.

02:00:47.000 But now they're just spotting them left and right.

02:00:50.000 A lot of it, they spot the star, and then they see the wobble of the star.

02:00:54.000 And they recognize that something is spinning around the star, and that something most likely is a planet.

02:01:00.000 And then they can determine the mass of the planet, and then they can zoom in on that spot and find out if it's got... 0.90

02:01:07.000 Hydrogen or oxygen or whatever the fuck is on that planet.

02:01:10.000 How do you feel about the likelihood that there are other planets like ours and there are other beings? 0.93

02:01:15.000 It's 100%.

02:01:16.000 Yeah, it's crazy. 0.99

02:01:17.000 This is what's really fucked up. 0.63

02:01:19.000 Not only is there most likely other planets like us, but from the way it's been explained to me, the universe is so big that if infinity is real, and there's no reason to believe that it's not... 0.94

02:01:33.000 What infinity means, if the universe truly has no boundaries, and if there's infinite numbers of universes, like the same idea exists an infinite number of times, like an unmeasurable, impossible number, that there's another Suzanne, another Ben out there sitting on these shitty OfficeMax leather shoes.

02:01:52.000 I know that other Suzanne is like a C-cup. 1.00

02:01:54.000 I'm comfy.

02:01:55.000 Come on. 1.00

02:01:56.000 The other Suzanne's got nipple rings and a dick. 1.00

02:01:59.000 No. 1.00

02:02:00.000 Well, maybe.

02:02:00.000 That'd be cool.

02:02:01.000 Why not just switch it up? 1.00

02:02:02.000 I guarantee you there's another Suzanne out there with a dick that has eyeballs. 1.00

02:02:06.000 It's a big dick, though. 1.00

02:02:08.000 Every possibility that you could think of exists. 0.99

02:02:11.000 This is what's really fucked up about the concept of infinity.

02:02:15.000 Infinity literally means there's no boundaries. 0.90

02:02:17.000 There's no end.

02:02:18.000 So, it's not like you get through a certain amount of time.

02:02:20.000 The raw carbon building blocks for life.

02:02:23.000 We've run out. 0.99

02:02:23.000 We've made all the giraffes and the fucking cactuses and the palm trees. 0.99

02:02:27.000 We don't have any room for a Suzanne with a giant dick. 1.00

02:02:30.000 Incorrect. 1.00

02:02:31.000 We have another fucking... 0.99

02:02:32.000 There's an infinite number of universes with infinite solar systems, infinite galaxies, and inside one of those, somewhere, a billion, trillion, fucking zillion miles away, there's another Suzanne. 0.99

02:02:44.000 But this is coming from a point of complete, not complete, but like a decent amount of ignorance, but what...

02:02:50.000 You can speak English, so...

02:02:53.000 I was under the impression that there's still the understanding that the universe is contracting to a certain degree.

02:03:01.000 Well, it's supposed to be currently expanding, but will eventually contract.

02:03:05.000 But that speaks to perimeters. 1.00

02:03:09.000 Well, the problem is, when you talk about this kind of stuff, especially if it's a guy like you, who's a musician, or a guy like me, who's an idiot, we don't know what the fuck we're saying. 1.00

02:03:17.000 We don't know what the fuck we're saying. 1.00

02:03:19.000 So, we're just basically parroting. 0.98

02:03:22.000 No, that's the truth.

02:03:24.000 Neil deGrasse Tyson, Michio Kaku, astrophysicist-type dudes.

02:03:28.000 Actually, like, do the calculations and figure it out.

02:03:31.000 And I think that there's a lot of debate about what we know and what we're sure of.

02:03:37.000 And sometimes those things come into question.

02:03:39.000 Like, lately there's a guy, there's a new guy who is claiming that black holes don't exist.

02:03:43.000 And this is, like, a really recent study that a lot of people are taking very seriously.

02:03:48.000 And this guy has said that black holes, as we know them, do not exist.

02:03:52.000 Chris Cornell is in this room, though.

02:03:54.000 What's that?

02:03:54.000 There's five in this room there.

02:03:55.000 Five black holes?

02:03:56.000 My hole's not black.

02:03:58.000 It's not even brown.

02:03:59.000 It's like a red.

02:04:01.000 You should get that looked at.

02:04:03.000 Here it is.

02:04:04.000 This is the theory.

02:04:05.000 Black holes do not exist.

02:04:07.000 But think about, like, the Big Bang.

02:04:09.000 This did not...

02:04:10.000 The Big Bang did not exist 100 years ago. 0.99

02:04:12.000 100 years ago, people were riding around on horses and fucking doing Annie Oakley fucking shooting galleries looking at a fucking mirror and shooting over their shoulder. 0.98

02:04:21.000 It was the greatest thing you could ever do. 0.99

02:04:23.000 No one knew what the fuck the Big Bang was.

02:04:25.000 No one had any idea why the stars were in the sky. 0.92

02:04:27.000 And now we know, but this guy, this recent guy, excuse me, it's a woman.

02:04:33.000 What?

02:04:35.000 Then, probably wrong.

02:04:37.000 How dare you? 1.00

02:04:39.000 You fucking bitch. 1.00

02:04:41.000 I'm sorry, ma'am. 1.00

02:04:42.000 I was only kidding.

02:04:44.000 Her name is Professor Laura Mersini.

02:04:48.000 H-O-U-G-H-T-O-N. Houghton?

02:04:53.000 Houghton?

02:04:53.000 She said she is still in shock from the find.

02:04:57.000 Previously, scientists thought the stars were much larger than the sun collapsed under their own gravity and formed black holes when they died.

02:05:08.000 During this process, they released a type of radiation called Hawking radiation, but new research claims the star would lose too much mass and wouldn't be able to form a black hole.

02:05:18.000 If this is true, The theory that the universe began as a singularity followed by a Big Bang could also be wrong.

02:05:25.000 I don't understand a word I just said.

02:05:29.000 It's quite interesting.

02:05:31.000 She's saying by the dissolution of the star, it can't have this ultimately dense, ultimately small, infinitely dense, infinitely small ball of matter which creates the Big Bang.

02:05:41.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:05:45.000 We're dumb and even bothering to have this conversation because I think this shit is... 1.00

02:05:48.000 This is beyond the great minds of our time. 1.00

02:05:52.000 This is one of those things where there's no conclusion.

02:05:54.000 I think I just blacked out.

02:05:57.000 Good.

02:05:58.000 I really started to...

02:05:59.000 Time to move in.

02:06:01.000 Yeah, you guys want to talk about music or something?

02:06:02.000 Do you guys want to hear a song?

02:06:03.000 Yeah, set up the microphones.

02:06:04.000 Give her a guitar. 1.00

02:06:06.000 She wakes up, she'll start singing like an angel.

02:06:09.000 I was with you the whole time, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

02:06:13.000 Well, I'm not even with me.

02:06:14.000 What just happened?

02:06:15.000 I'm not even with me.

02:06:16.000 I don't understand it.

02:06:17.000 Here, I'll do my questioning.

02:06:18.000 Here's what it says.

02:06:19.000 Please.

02:06:20.000 When a huge star, many times the mass of the sun, comes to the end of its life, it collapses in on itself and forms a singularity, creating a black hole where gravity is so strong that not even light itself can escape.

02:06:36.000 At least, that's what we thought.

02:06:39.000 A scientist has sensationally said it is impossible for black holes to exist.

02:06:48.000 And she even has the mathematical proof to back up her claims.

02:06:54.000 I should be working for Team MZ. If true, her research could force physicists to scrap their theories of how the universe began. 0.95

02:07:04.000 Ha ha.

02:07:05.000 The research was conducted by Professor Laura Marcini-Houghton from the University of North Carolina.

02:07:15.000 Oh, I lost interest.

02:07:17.000 Oh, man.

02:07:18.000 Did you say Harvard?

02:07:19.000 You didn't.

02:07:19.000 Did you say MIT? I didn't hear that.

02:07:21.000 I heard the University of North Carolina.

02:07:22.000 Are you getting snobby on us, Joe?

02:07:24.000 Don't do that.

02:07:25.000 I am Ivy League in heart.

02:07:26.000 Come on.

02:07:27.000 Where did you go to school?

02:07:29.000 UMass Boston for three years.

02:07:31.000 You went to UMass?

02:07:32.000 Barely.

02:07:33.000 Damn. 0.99

02:07:33.000 I went to UMass Boston for three years. 0.99

02:07:35.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:07:36.000 Wasted my time. 1.00

02:07:36.000 I only went in the continuing education program. 1.00

02:07:40.000 I didn't even take my SATs.

02:07:42.000 Me either.

02:07:43.000 Thank you.

02:07:44.000 Holla.

02:07:44.000 I did.

02:07:45.000 Good for you.

02:07:46.000 How'd you do, Ben?

02:07:46.000 Ben's a smart one.

02:07:47.000 I did fucking okay, yeah. 0.99

02:07:48.000 You lowlifes. 1.00

02:07:50.000 Oh, damn. 1.00

02:07:50.000 I'm a pro living a life without proving yourself at 18. I guess I'll drunk drive myself home. 1.00

02:07:55.000 That's true.

02:07:55.000 So true.

02:07:56.000 BS, not doing that.

02:07:57.000 No.

02:07:57.000 False, not doing that.

02:07:58.000 Uber, it's here.

02:07:59.000 It's real.

02:08:00.000 Yeah, but we have a car here.

02:08:02.000 Yeah, we have a car service.

02:08:03.000 No, but we have...

02:08:04.000 It's going to be okay.

02:08:06.000 Do you guys have marijuana?

02:08:08.000 What do you think?

02:08:14.000 What were we talking about?

02:08:15.000 Proletariat?

02:08:15.000 UMass Boston?

02:08:16.000 Yeah. 0.81

02:08:17.000 I only went because I was worried that people thought I was a loser.

02:08:20.000 When I got out of high school, I had no idea what I was going to do, and I kept telling everybody, I'm just going to take a year off.

02:08:24.000 And when I would tell girls that, they would look at me with such disdain. 1.00

02:08:28.000 Fuck! 1.00

02:08:28.000 That's what I did, and I didn't say it to any girls. 1.00

02:08:31.000 Absolutely.

02:08:31.000 You had to go to college because that's what everybody in your class did, and if you said you weren't going or you didn't know by you graduated high school, people were like, ugh.

02:08:41.000 Shit, I didn't go. 0.99

02:08:42.000 It's the worst. 1.00

02:08:42.000 I didn't experience that kind of discrimination. 1.00

02:08:45.000 Well, it's not discrimination.

02:08:46.000 It's wanting you to live up to a certain quality of work ethic and standard.

02:08:52.000 Where I grew up, I lived in Newton, Massachusetts. 0.99

02:08:56.000 Fucking Newton. 0.99

02:08:57.000 Newton. 1.00

02:08:58.000 Newton.

02:08:58.000 Mush.

02:08:59.000 Newton North, they called each other Mush.

02:09:01.000 It's one of the only places on Earth where Mush, like, what up, Mush? 0.99

02:09:06.000 Mush. 0.99

02:09:06.000 You seen this fucking broad Mush? 0.99

02:09:08.000 She's got a big ass, Mush. 1.00

02:09:10.000 Mush mouth. 1.00

02:09:10.000 Girls didn't have big asses when I was in school. 1.00

02:09:12.000 What does mush mean? 0.99

02:09:13.000 It doesn't mean anything.

02:09:14.000 Okay.

02:09:14.000 But there's an area of Newton called the lake.

02:09:17.000 Is that like the audible comma?

02:09:18.000 No.

02:09:19.000 No.

02:09:19.000 It's like dude.

02:09:20.000 It's their version of dude.

02:09:22.000 Just checking.

02:09:22.000 It's their version of dude.

02:09:24.000 Dude.

02:09:25.000 Okay.

02:09:25.000 That's all I want to know.

02:09:26.000 It was mush.

02:09:27.000 Okay.

02:09:27.000 I grew up in Newton South and I didn't get mush.

02:09:30.000 But my good friends Kevin Chason and my good friends Nick Dottilio, they both went to Newton North.

02:09:36.000 Okay.

02:09:37.000 Okay?

02:09:37.000 Okay.

02:09:38.000 And Newton North was different than Newton South.

02:09:39.000 Jimmy Lawless went to Newton South.

02:09:41.000 He was also my good friend.

02:09:42.000 And we, uh...

02:09:43.000 His name is Lawless?

02:09:44.000 Jimmy? 0.99

02:09:44.000 Jimmy motherfucking Lawless. 0.99

02:09:46.000 Still my friend to this day. 0.96

02:09:48.000 Why are your friends so cool with cool names?

02:09:48.000 Sean Lawless.

02:09:50.000 Michael Lawless.

02:09:51.000 He changed his name. 1.00

02:09:51.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:09:51.000 That's his name, son. 1.00

02:09:53.000 Come on.

02:09:53.000 Just like Eddie Bravo.

02:09:54.000 That's another one of my friends with a real name.

02:09:56.000 More proof.

02:09:57.000 We're living in a simulation.

02:10:00.000 You guys are itching to rock this.

02:10:03.000 No, we're not.

02:10:03.000 That's not true.

02:10:04.000 We're patient, man.

02:10:04.000 I know you are.

02:10:05.000 No, we're not.

02:10:06.000 You say what you need to say.

02:10:06.000 I want to hear more about your friends and their cool names.

02:10:09.000 Mush.

02:10:09.000 It wasn't cool.

02:10:10.000 They were trapped.

02:10:10.000 They were living in a place where it snows six months out of the year.

02:10:13.000 You know, I lived in Mass, too.

02:10:14.000 There was a Prince song called Sometimes It Snows in April.

02:10:18.000 Yeah.

02:10:18.000 It's a very sad song.

02:10:21.000 I was in my Audi Fox.

02:10:32.000 Okay, I was coming home from my gig where I was driving a private investigator that lost his job.

02:10:39.000 He lost his Come on!

02:10:51.000 Come on! 0.61

02:11:05.000 Sometimes it snows. 0.96

02:11:06.000 And I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of Boston. 0.94

02:11:10.000 I can't deal with snow in April. 0.99

02:11:12.000 Did you get the winter blues?

02:11:13.000 Like, would you get bummed and stuff?

02:11:14.000 I got blues all the time. 0.99

02:11:15.000 I was a loser. 0.94

02:11:17.000 I think that's fair. 0.96

02:11:18.000 Everybody does that. 1.00

02:11:19.000 Well, if you're super desperate and you're trying to carve your path in this world with a rabid desperation, like I was, you're always feeling like shit. 1.00

02:11:27.000 Sure. 1.00

02:11:28.000 Because if you're not feeling like shit, you're feeling complacent, nothing gets done. 1.00

02:11:32.000 Sure. 0.99

02:11:32.000 Well, you know, the blues come and go. 0.99

02:11:34.000 That's just inevitable, I think, at this point.

02:11:36.000 And when you accept it and you figure out what it is and what it means and you just keep having an understanding with yourself.

02:11:45.000 And it's important that a certain type of people, like people that you listen to, like someone like you or like you or like you guys, name their reality.

02:11:55.000 Like talk about the reality and talk about the blues.

02:11:57.000 And then everybody goes, oh, I get it.

02:12:00.000 It's just a part of struggling.

02:12:01.000 Like a part of struggling is...

02:12:05.000 I think you guys are super talented.

02:12:07.000 We've been friends for years now, and I've always thought you guys were super talented.

02:12:11.000 From the moment I saw that one song where you guys were on top of the roof, and you were singing Angel of Death, I love you guys so much too.

02:12:18.000 I think you guys are amazing.

02:12:19.000 But when you connect with something like that, and you see someone who's doing something that makes you feel good when you see it, and you want to spread it to these other people, it's like...

02:12:35.000 What is that?

02:12:37.000 I mean, what that is at its best is like there's this weird light that you can find in the deep, dark tunnels of human creativity that makes you feel better about the struggle.

02:12:48.000 I like the fact that you guys haven't made it.

02:12:51.000 I'm really sorry.

02:12:54.000 I wish you had made it.

02:12:55.000 I wish you were multi, multi, multi millionaires.

02:12:57.000 I think that's going to change soon.

02:12:59.000 I know it's going to!

02:13:00.000 And I know you're not going to change.

02:13:02.000 I appreciate you saying that, man. 0.98

02:13:04.000 I love that I met you guys when you were in the fucking... 0.99

02:13:08.000 You were in the goddamn roots of it all. 1.00

02:13:11.000 You were swinging. 1.00

02:13:13.000 You guys are sleeping on couches and fucking jamming out. 0.99

02:13:17.000 You guys did that December 21st show that we did at the Wiltern. 0.99

02:13:20.000 Yeah, that kept us afloat.

02:13:22.000 2012. That was like a fucking lifesaver. 0.99

02:13:24.000 Thank you. 0.99

02:13:25.000 Thank you for that. 0.99

02:13:26.000 You guys fucking crushed it. 0.99

02:13:27.000 I'll never forget. 0.99

02:13:28.000 So did you, by the way.

02:13:29.000 Joey Diaz and Eddie Bravo came backstage after you guys got off stage before Duncan went up.

02:13:35.000 Or Joey went up.

02:13:37.000 And he came up stage.

02:13:39.000 Yeah, it was Joey and then Doug Stanhope.

02:13:41.000 So before Joey went up, you guys were on stage. 0.99

02:13:44.000 You were fucking killing it. 0.98

02:13:45.000 And Joey came backstage with Eddie Bravo and they're both shaking their head back and forth. 1.00

02:13:49.000 And they just go, that's a badass bitch. 1.00

02:13:52.000 That is a badass bitch. 1.00

02:13:54.000 They kept saying that. 1.00

02:13:55.000 And then Joey goes, God damn, those motherfuckers are talented. 1.00

02:13:59.000 And Eddie Bravo was just shaking his head, God damn, those motherfuckers are talented. 1.00

02:14:02.000 And then they both go, how are they not famous as fuck? 1.00

02:14:05.000 How are they not famous as fuck? 1.00

02:14:06.000 Like, it became like a conversation before the rest of the show went on. 1.00

02:14:10.000 Like, you guys were just fucking crushing it. 0.99

02:14:13.000 I don't even remember what song it was, but they were just, Eddie Bravo was holding his hands on his head like the fucking Home Alone kid. 0.99

02:14:19.000 He was like, God damn, they're They're really good. 0.99

02:14:22.000 And I go, I told you, dude, they're really good. 0.99

02:14:25.000 He's such a nice dude.

02:14:26.000 They're both nice dudes.

02:14:27.000 Thanks, man.

02:14:28.000 Thanks for saying all that really sweet stuff. 0.97

02:14:30.000 I like the fact that I knew you guys when you weren't shit. 0.96

02:14:35.000 It's all down from here. 0.98

02:14:37.000 But you were.

02:14:37.000 You were, but you weren't.

02:14:38.000 It's like, I love the fact that there's something out there that's as good or better than anything else.

02:14:44.000 But people don't know yet.

02:14:45.000 They don't know yet. 0.97

02:14:46.000 And you guys are out there just fucking chipping away at it. 1.00

02:14:49.000 And slowly people are going, holy fuck. 1.00

02:14:52.000 And that's what happens in this world. 1.00

02:14:54.000 And it makes it better.

02:14:55.000 Honestly, I feel good about it.

02:14:58.000 You know what I mean?

02:14:59.000 I feel all this time we're putting in now, and who cares what happens?

02:15:03.000 Let me tell you something, Ben.

02:15:04.000 I don't picture you in bed with David Bowie.

02:15:06.000 It's going to happen. 1.00

02:15:06.000 I don't see that shit happening. 1.00

02:15:07.000 That's weird. 0.99

02:15:07.000 I do. 0.99

02:15:08.000 No, it's not manifesting that for years.

02:15:10.000 You're taking a longer, stronger road.

02:15:12.000 You're going to know who you are by the time you get in bed with David Bowie.

02:15:15.000 You're going to go like, homie, I love your music. 0.99

02:15:18.000 I love your music. 0.99

02:15:21.000 I'm going to fucking give you a hug and then I'm going to go home. 0.99

02:15:24.000 Express ourselves differently. 0.99

02:15:28.000 Mutual respect.

02:15:29.000 No touching.

02:15:30.000 I think it's super important to go through that struggle. 0.99

02:15:33.000 I think that if you guys had somehow or another started out together and then a week later someone came along and went, holy shit, you guys are fucking great! 0.97

02:15:41.000 Well, no, we've had that, but it didn't... 0.96

02:15:44.000 But if it did...

02:15:46.000 But that's what's so cool about...

02:15:48.000 Everyone has a different way to get there, a different vehicle. 0.97

02:15:54.000 I think about that a lot because we've been through so much shit together. 0.80

02:15:59.000 We've been through so much in our personal lives and in the career. 0.94

02:16:03.000 I feel really lucky for that because...

02:16:07.000 I have so much information and experience and understanding of what this business entails.

02:16:14.000 We've booked our own shows.

02:16:15.000 We've been our own manager at times. 0.99

02:16:17.000 We've done all the shit. 0.99

02:16:18.000 And if we had blown up when we were young, I don't know what would have happened. 0.99

02:16:25.000 That's a terrifying thought.

02:16:28.000 We talk about this a lot, but essentially, being good people and having a legitimate reason for doing this, not like some masturbatory, oh, I just want to be the best. 1.00

02:16:40.000 That's not why we play music, and that's stupid and narcissistic. 0.98

02:16:46.000 We have had all these crazy experiences and difficult times, and Was that somebody's stomach? 0.99

02:16:54.000 What was that?

02:16:55.000 Was that me?

02:16:56.000 Keep it going.

02:16:57.000 Keep it going. 0.97

02:16:58.000 That's the demon inside you. 0.77

02:17:00.000 Probably. 1.00

02:17:01.000 Keep lying, woman. 1.00

02:17:02.000 We're close to our goal.

02:17:05.000 God, I told you it was the end of the world.

02:17:08.000 Those spider jets.

02:17:09.000 He's doing it now.

02:17:12.000 Do you snore?

02:17:14.000 Male power. 0.97

02:17:14.000 Oh my god, I have to wear a mouthpiece. 0.97

02:17:16.000 Do you really?

02:17:16.000 What does that even mean?

02:17:17.000 What do you mean?

02:17:18.000 My neck is not a normal neck.

02:17:19.000 You see that neck? 0.99

02:17:20.000 You're an alien! 0.97

02:17:22.000 It's not supposed to be...

02:17:23.000 A lot of wrestlers and people who do a lot of moving their head around... 1.00

02:17:28.000 You develop too many muscles in your neck and your tongue will fall over your ear hole and clog that bitch up. 1.00

02:17:35.000 So I wear a mouthpiece. 1.00

02:17:37.000 Damn. 1.00

02:17:38.000 Yeah, to keep my tongue from falling back into my air hole. 1.00

02:17:40.000 It's called sleep apnea.

02:17:42.000 Oh yeah, we know what that is.

02:17:43.000 No, I don't want to die either.

02:17:44.000 Guys have died.

02:17:46.000 I know.

02:17:46.000 Okay, valid.

02:17:47.000 You choke in your sleep a few times a night. 1.00

02:17:49.000 Just give up like a bitch. 1.00

02:17:52.000 My sister has sleep apnea and I used to live with her. 1.00

02:17:56.000 Oh, let's talk about her.

02:17:57.000 Oh, she's great. 0.89

02:17:59.000 Hey, you know what?

02:17:59.000 She's opening a juice shop in Cleveland.

02:18:02.000 Holy shit! 1.00

02:18:02.000 And I support that. 1.00

02:18:03.000 What's it called?

02:18:04.000 I love juice shops.

02:18:05.000 What's it called?

02:18:05.000 It's called Daily Press Juice.

02:18:06.000 When is it up?

02:18:08.000 It's going to be up very soon, actually.

02:18:10.000 Allegedly.

02:18:11.000 Dreams have failed in the past.

02:18:13.000 Hey, Joe!

02:18:13.000 Joe, don't you dare.

02:18:15.000 Don't make me go tell your family and you guys. 1.00

02:18:18.000 I'll tweet the shit out of her. 0.99

02:18:19.000 Please do. 0.99

02:18:20.000 Let me know when it's up.

02:18:21.000 She's so great.

02:18:21.000 I will tweet.

02:18:23.000 I'll only been...

02:18:24.000 We should stop drinking.

02:18:26.000 I'll only been a tweet.

02:18:26.000 No, we're fine.

02:18:27.000 Shut up. 0.99

02:18:28.000 We love you so much. 0.99

02:18:31.000 I love you so much, too.

02:18:32.000 I've only been to Cleveland once.

02:18:34.000 I'll go back.

02:18:35.000 Hey, next time you're there, you should meet my family.

02:18:37.000 They're really cool.

02:18:38.000 Allegedly.

02:18:39.000 Allegedly.

02:18:40.000 If you're in Cleveland, we'll be there.

02:18:42.000 We'll make a point to be there together.

02:18:43.000 We'll have a party.

02:18:44.000 Let's do this.

02:18:45.000 How about we book a show with you guys and me in Cleveland?

02:18:48.000 And we'll see if Joey can do it too.

02:18:50.000 I love that so much.

02:18:51.000 I need to not invite my parents.

02:18:53.000 Jesus Christ.

02:18:53.000 Keep your parents at home.

02:18:54.000 Yeah, we'll keep them at home. 1.00

02:18:55.000 Let's get fucked up. 0.99

02:18:56.000 Where do we do this? 1.00

02:18:58.000 Oh, state theater.

02:18:59.000 Would you guys...

02:19:00.000 Aim for the stars.

02:19:01.000 Would you guys...

02:19:02.000 Red Band, what do you think about that?

02:19:03.000 Do your set.

02:19:04.000 Would you guys do this? 0.99

02:19:05.000 Would you guys do your set and then play in the background while Joey's on stage and I'm on stage just fuck around and play music? 1.00

02:19:11.000 Like mellifluous shit? 1.00

02:19:11.000 Yeah, dude, we score that shit. 1.00

02:19:13.000 You see what I'm saying? 1.00

02:19:14.000 Just have fun.

02:19:14.000 Heck yeah.

02:19:16.000 It's done.

02:19:17.000 Be like jazz.

02:19:18.000 Be like beat.

02:19:19.000 Beat poetry. 0.97

02:19:20.000 Like the gay guy from Star Trek. 1.00

02:19:21.000 Make it so. 0.95

02:19:23.000 Which one?

02:19:24.000 Zachary Quinto?

02:19:25.000 No, it's the... 0.98

02:19:25.000 I call him the gay guy. 0.98

02:19:27.000 Are we talking contemporary? 0.97

02:19:29.000 No, the new one!

02:19:30.000 Vintage.

02:19:31.000 Not even the new, new, new, new one. 0.99

02:19:33.000 The fucking semi-new one. 0.99

02:19:34.000 What's his name? 0.99

02:19:35.000 Guys, have we been going for three hours?

02:19:37.000 Because it feels like...

02:19:37.000 Picard.

02:19:38.000 Picard.

02:19:39.000 It's only 6.30. 0.93

02:19:40.000 He's gay? 0.98

02:19:41.000 This is amazing. 0.91

02:19:42.000 He's gay. 0.99

02:19:43.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

02:19:44.000 Your gaydar is from the 1950s and it runs on coal. 0.96

02:19:49.000 What? 0.91

02:19:50.000 Are you talking about me?

02:19:51.000 No, Brian. 1.00

02:19:52.000 He just asked me if the fucking guy from Star Trek is gay, the bald guy. 1.00

02:19:56.000 I'm like, do you not even pay attention? 1.00

02:19:58.000 Do you not understand your surroundings?

02:20:01.000 What's that guy's name?

02:20:02.000 Patrick Stewart.

02:20:04.000 He's a beautiful man.

02:20:05.000 Him and Gandalf should get together.

02:20:08.000 They probably have.

02:20:09.000 Yeah, I think there's pictures about that.

02:20:11.000 Good for them.

02:20:12.000 God bless them.

02:20:13.000 Somebody give Jennifer Lawrence a hug if you're near her. 0.98

02:20:16.000 I want you to tell her it's going to be okay.

02:20:18.000 You're beautiful. 1.00

02:20:19.000 Don't worry about those assholes that have seen you naked. 1.00

02:20:21.000 You're beautiful. 1.00

02:20:22.000 Don't worry about it.

02:20:24.000 What's happening?

02:20:25.000 Is Patrick Stewart gay?

02:20:26.000 The Guardian falsely outs Captain Picard after he congratulates Ellen Page on coming out.

02:20:31.000 What year is this, though?

02:20:33.000 Uh...

02:20:34.000 Yesterday.

02:20:35.000 2011. 2014, February 20th, 2014. Well, he might not be gay.

02:20:39.000 Yeah, because Ellen Page came out this year. 1.00

02:20:41.000 Who cares?

02:20:42.000 I hope he's happy. 1.00

02:20:44.000 Who gives a fuck if he's gay? 1.00

02:20:45.000 Who gives a fuck... 1.00

02:20:48.000 This is a gay-friendly podcast. 1.00

02:20:49.000 You know what?

02:20:51.000 I'm a gay-friendly person.

02:20:52.000 I'm also a trans-friendly person.

02:20:54.000 I really am. 0.91

02:20:55.000 Even though I don't want trans women beating the fuck out of cis women, I'm a trans-friendly person. 0.98

02:21:00.000 I'm a dwarf-friendly person. 0.99

02:21:03.000 Little people? 0.61

02:21:05.000 Whatever it is.

02:21:06.000 I'm black-friendly, Filipino-friendly, Asian-friendly, white-friendly, straight male-friendly.

02:21:12.000 Joe, you're a lover.

02:21:12.000 You're a lover.

02:21:13.000 I'm a lover.

02:21:14.000 I love everybody.

02:21:15.000 I really do.

02:21:16.000 You bring a lot of positivity to you.

02:21:17.000 I think that we're all locked up in conflict, man.

02:21:20.000 And I think there could be a lot less of it. 0.93

02:21:21.000 And if there was, we'd figure a lot more shit out and we'd get a lot more shit done and be nicer to each other and make the whole experience just a little bit easier, a little more well-loved. 0.96

02:21:30.000 Well, you know what? 0.98

02:21:31.000 We're all in this together.

02:21:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:21:32.000 No matter who the fuck you are. 1.00

02:21:34.000 Top, bottom, middle, taint. 1.00

02:21:37.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:21:37.000 I've been watching a lot. 1.00

02:21:39.000 The taint feels so good sometimes.

02:21:40.000 It just touches it just right.

02:21:42.000 I've been paying attention to a lot of people.

02:21:45.000 This is over the life.

02:21:46.000 There's a process that happens when I put out a special.

02:21:49.000 And one of the big things that happens is after the special's out, I scramble.

02:21:53.000 I go in this mad panic state where I have to come up with a bunch of new material.

02:21:57.000 And it's good and it's bad.

02:21:59.000 It's like your next record.

02:22:00.000 Yeah.

02:22:00.000 And sometimes I have some rough sets.

02:22:02.000 Okay. 0.99

02:22:02.000 Come to see me while I'm working out new shit. 0.99

02:22:05.000 Come a year later, you'll be so happy. 0.99

02:22:07.000 It'll all work out.

02:22:08.000 But along the lines of doing all this, I start exposing myself to a bunch of different things.

02:22:14.000 I try to expose myself to as many things as possible.

02:22:17.000 It's really scary.

02:22:18.000 It's scary to try to come up with new material.

02:22:21.000 It's scary to tread down new patterns and not have formulated bits you can call upon that you absolutely know they're going to be effective.

02:22:29.000 But that's what life is about. 0.74

02:22:34.000 Just to be some supportive friends here, you're so fucking brilliant. 0.99

02:22:40.000 This podcast just got gay. 0.98

02:22:43.000 I thought we were into that.

02:22:44.000 I thought it was gay friendly.

02:22:45.000 I thought it was gay like two hours ago.

02:22:46.000 We talked about this. 0.95

02:22:47.000 It got G-H-E-Y like protein.

02:22:50.000 Like whey protein. 0.99

02:22:51.000 Gay. 1.00

02:22:54.000 Gay like whey. 1.00

02:22:55.000 What Susanna's trying to say is we believe in you. 0.95

02:22:58.000 I believe in you guys too.

02:23:00.000 It's not important that you believe in me.

02:23:01.000 It's important that we believe in each other.

02:23:04.000 I believe I can fly.

02:23:07.000 Oh my god, Space James.

02:23:09.000 I'm sorry, I'm not good with compliments.

02:23:11.000 I try to shut them off whenever possible.

02:23:13.000 We feel secure with complimenting you and you not accepting them at this time.

02:23:17.000 Thank you. 0.99

02:23:18.000 They fucked me in the past. 1.00

02:23:19.000 I don't trust them anymore. 1.00

02:23:21.000 No, come on. 0.85

02:23:22.000 Can you guys play punk kid?

02:23:23.000 We'll snuggle you afterward.

02:23:24.000 I assumed that was a part of our package deal in getting you guys on the podcast.

02:23:28.000 You know what?

02:23:29.000 I just realized I'm going to play this acoustic guitar.

02:23:31.000 I don't know if it's going to hit this microphone.

02:23:33.000 Should I do one of these, Jamie?

02:23:34.000 You got two microphones there.

02:23:35.000 Are you cool with that?

02:23:37.000 Okay, I'm going to aim it at the 12th fret.

02:23:40.000 Whoa, it's floating! 1.00

02:23:41.000 This piece of shit. 1.00

02:23:43.000 I think it's okay. 1.00

02:23:44.000 Goddammit, Jamie. 0.97

02:23:45.000 Hold on, I can...

02:23:45.000 No, no, it's not Jamie.

02:23:47.000 Jamie will fix it.

02:23:47.000 It's maybe just gravity.

02:23:49.000 No, no, no. 0.71

02:23:49.000 It's a fake goddammit, Jamie. 0.71

02:23:50.000 No, Jamie, you're so great.

02:23:53.000 How's it going?

02:23:54.000 How's it going?

02:23:57.000 This is drunk talk.

02:23:59.000 I'm a little ticked. 1.00

02:24:00.000 I'm a little fucked up. 1.00

02:24:01.000 Ben. 0.99

02:24:02.000 I'm glad I don't have to drive for another hour.

02:24:03.000 Are we going to be able to sing this song?

02:24:04.000 We might not make it through this one.

02:24:05.000 I know.

02:24:05.000 We'll be fine.

02:24:06.000 We'll do our best.

02:24:07.000 We love you. 0.99

02:24:08.000 Look, Twitter's lighting up like a goddamn Christmas tree right now. 0.99

02:24:11.000 They're so happy. 0.99

02:24:12.000 I can't hear anything.

02:24:13.000 I'm going to turn this off.

02:24:14.000 This is authentic.

02:24:15.000 People love it.

02:24:16.000 Brian loves it.

02:24:17.000 I look down, look to the table.

02:24:19.000 He loves it.

02:24:20.000 Heart on.

02:24:21.000 No!

02:24:23.000 That's not what I meant. 1.00

02:24:24.000 I mean, his feet were tapping, you fuck. 1.00

02:24:28.000 Ben, are you doing headphones? 1.00

02:24:30.000 I'm doing one in, one out.

02:24:32.000 Okay.

02:24:32.000 I might do one in, two.

02:24:33.000 I'm not sure. 0.99

02:24:35.000 Will you guys just shut the fuck up and sing this? 1.00

02:24:38.000 Play the fucking music! 1.00

02:24:39.000 Okay. 1.00

02:24:40.000 Okay.

02:24:42.000 You ready?

02:24:43.000 Are we doing this now?

02:24:44.000 How are we starting this one?

02:24:45.000 Punk kid?

02:24:47.000 I don't even...

02:24:48.000 Okay.

02:25:01.000 I bet you were a punk kid when you were young.

02:25:05.000 I bet you were a punk kid when you were young. 1.00

02:25:08.000 Blashing your cut, tearing shit up. 0.99

02:25:11.000 I bet you were a punk. 1.00

02:25:13.000 Cause it takes one to know one.

02:25:18.000 Prodigal son. 0.61

02:25:19.000 Yeah, I bet you were a punk. 1.00

02:25:40.000 Oh, honey, you're a fucker. 1.00

02:25:48.000 I bet you made your mama cry when you were young. 1.00

02:25:51.000 I bet you made your mama cry.

02:25:54.000 Signing the cross, ripping her off, cutting it down to size. 0.93

02:26:00.000 Just a good one with a bad son.

02:26:13.000 How's it working out for you?

02:26:17.000 Who's coming round for you?

02:26:38.000 You fall so fast.

02:26:42.000 Laying on your own dead way.

02:26:44.000 You're not an innocent man.

02:26:47.000 Oh no.

02:27:16.000 I'm feeling bad for how you do Yeah, I'm feeling bad for how you do Cause somewhere along the line Somebody gave it to you On the right side and the wrong side No matter how you do I feel for you I feel for you How's that working out for you?

02:27:44.000 Who's coming out for you?

02:27:47.000 Say you stuck all your bad love. 1.00

02:27:54.000 Oh, honey, you're a fucker. 1.00

02:27:58.000 You're a fucker. 1.00

02:28:11.000 That was beautiful. 1.00

02:28:12.000 I don't know about that. 0.99

02:28:13.000 Damn, I love that song. 0.97

02:28:16.000 I think I should have worn these the whole time. 0.99

02:28:18.000 It's fantastic. 1.00

02:28:19.000 You don't need that shit. 1.00

02:28:20.000 I love that song. 1.00

02:28:21.000 I fucking love that song. 0.99

02:28:22.000 I've heard that song a hundred times. 1.00

02:28:23.000 What?

02:28:25.000 Easily, easily, without a doubt.

02:28:26.000 That's why I picked it. 0.97

02:28:28.000 That's the song that had this cool, fucking, fun riff to it. 0.97

02:28:35.000 I just had to hear that song over and over and over again. 0.99

02:28:38.000 Geez.

02:28:38.000 I played that song, I'm not bullshitting.

02:28:40.000 I played that song close to a hundred times.

02:28:42.000 What? 1.00

02:28:42.000 If I had to stop and guess, I played it one time at the gym, I put it on repeat, and I got on the stair climber, and I went a half an hour, and I listened to your fucking song for a half an hour. 1.00

02:28:53.000 That's fucking awesome! 0.98

02:28:54.000 Because I was trying to figure out what song to use for the beginning of the special. 0.94

02:28:57.000 And I had a bunch of your songs, your old songs, your new songs, and, uh...

02:29:01.000 We have so many new songs.

02:29:02.000 Mm-hmm.

02:29:03.000 I'm about to do...

02:29:05.000 And I listened to that song over and over again for half an hour.

02:29:08.000 It's actually the elliptical.

02:29:10.000 I misspoke.

02:29:11.000 Not on the stair climber.

02:29:12.000 You know what?

02:29:12.000 Better on the joints.

02:29:13.000 Better on the joints.

02:29:15.000 Allegedly.

02:29:16.000 I don't think stair climber's bad for the joints.

02:29:17.000 It just gives the joints some work.

02:29:19.000 That's true. 0.99

02:29:20.000 Bitch-ass joints. 1.00

02:29:21.000 Go to work. 1.00

02:29:22.000 Speaking of joints.

02:29:22.000 Stop being scared.

02:29:24.000 Stop being scared of all elliptical and shit. 0.99

02:29:27.000 What else? 0.99

02:29:29.000 Yeah, speaking of that.

02:29:30.000 I got electrocuted.

02:29:31.000 What?

02:29:32.000 When that song started.

02:29:33.000 I don't know if it's that amp that's plugged into something or not.

02:29:36.000 Are you okay?

02:29:36.000 I'm sorry, Brian.

02:29:37.000 That's the gay. 1.00

02:29:38.000 It's coming out of your sweat. 1.00

02:29:39.000 You do so badly.

02:29:40.000 It happens all the time.

02:29:42.000 Does it really happen all the time?

02:29:43.000 I like how you said so badly and not so bad.

02:29:46.000 Badly?

02:29:47.000 Yeah, that's what I get those adverbs working, man.

02:29:49.000 I know.

02:29:49.000 You feel so bad.

02:29:51.000 I'm working on it, you know?

02:29:53.000 Are you?

02:29:53.000 Proper grammar.

02:29:54.000 Yeah, grammatically correct.

02:29:56.000 I actually really care about that stuff.

02:29:58.000 In what way?

02:29:58.000 Do you accidentally write Y-O-U-R when you meant Y-O-U apostrophe R-E? Y-O-U-R. And you tweet it and you go, fuck!

02:30:05.000 Oh, no, no, no. 1.00

02:30:06.000 That's worth trashing a tweet and getting it back up again.

02:30:09.000 No, no, no, no.

02:30:09.000 No, I really care about that.

02:30:10.000 I'm not kidding.

02:30:11.000 Like, twos and twos.

02:30:12.000 There's, there's, and there's.

02:30:14.000 Oh, I know it.

02:30:14.000 This is all I care about.

02:30:15.000 Don't write you are to me.

02:30:18.000 You are?

02:30:19.000 Are you lazy? 0.90

02:30:20.000 You can't write Y-O-U-R. Are you scared that you don't know which one is Y-O-U apostrophe R-E and Y-O-U-R? I don't think he's talking to you, Suzanne.

02:30:29.000 I think it's kind of bringing it to a larger audience.

02:30:31.000 I just wanted to take it to a literal major point.

02:30:34.000 But I'm confused.

02:30:36.000 Joe, I'm going to be so high, just so you know.

02:30:39.000 What do you think about emojis, Joe?

02:30:43.000 You'll be fine. 1.00

02:30:44.000 Holy shit. 0.99

02:30:45.000 Everybody's going to be fine. 0.99

02:30:46.000 Ben, this is like the Cheshire Cat.

02:30:47.000 That's a lot of weed smoke.

02:30:48.000 We're like Alice, and this is the Wonderland of podcasts.

02:30:51.000 That's some weed smoke.

02:30:52.000 You and I are both Alice.

02:30:53.000 I've told you I'm 47, smoking weed for a little while.

02:30:56.000 Joe, we really want to talk about DMT. I know you do.

02:31:05.000 Fair enough. 0.99

02:31:06.000 If I could get the CIA high and let them know that I'm on the same fucking page as them... 0.99

02:31:10.000 Oh, I know it. 0.99

02:31:10.000 Listen, bro, I'm not anti-American. 0.99

02:31:12.000 I used to own a Mustang.

02:31:13.000 But I need you people to know...

02:31:15.000 You did not.

02:31:17.000 We're sorry.

02:31:18.000 Shelby Mustang GT500. How the fuck dare you? 0.99

02:31:22.000 I've had a bunch of American cars. 0.99

02:31:24.000 Right now I don't have currently any American cars.

02:31:27.000 Jesus.

02:31:28.000 What are we working with right now?

02:31:29.000 But when we did this video for your song, the Punk Kid song, we used your riff, I was driving a new Shell, one of those new Challengers.

02:31:39.000 Challenger SRT Hellcat.

02:31:41.000 How did you know it was a Dodge? 0.98

02:31:43.000 Because I pay attention, goddammit. 0.95

02:31:45.000 Pay attention to what? 0.96

02:31:46.000 I sent you an email.

02:31:47.000 No, no, no.

02:31:48.000 It wasn't an email.

02:31:49.000 It was a tweet or an Instagram.

02:31:52.000 I was there.

02:31:54.000 Yeah.

02:31:55.000 Guys, am I allowed to smoke in the marijuana party?

02:31:57.000 Oh, I didn't know Ben wants to be a part of this party. 1.00

02:32:00.000 Shit, Ben, I am driving. 1.00

02:32:00.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

02:32:01.000 We've got to get a sandwich after this podcast.

02:32:03.000 We've talked about this.

02:32:04.000 For the record.

02:32:05.000 We've talked about this.

02:32:06.000 I'll let up a freshet.

02:32:07.000 What'd you talk about, specifically? 1.00

02:32:09.000 Do you guys nag each other, like, married chicks that don't fuck? 1.00

02:32:12.000 Um... 1.00

02:32:13.000 Pretty much.

02:32:14.000 Danger zone.

02:32:16.000 Look, do you know what, though? 1.00

02:32:18.000 We got Kenny Loggins up in this motherfucker. 1.00

02:32:20.000 Is it... 1.00

02:32:20.000 Highway to the danger zone. 1.00

02:32:25.000 I think you should sing the next song.

02:32:26.000 No.

02:32:28.000 Ben, oh my god, you're gonna get high.

02:32:30.000 I have zero musical talent.

02:32:31.000 I know, that's the point.

02:32:32.000 Hey, why don't you not make a big deal of it?

02:32:33.000 That's gonna help.

02:32:34.000 That's gonna help both of us.

02:32:36.000 Friends just let friends be.

02:32:37.000 I love Ben, okay? 0.57

02:32:39.000 I don't have anything invested in Ben not fucking up his words. 0.71

02:32:42.000 No, no, no. 0.94

02:32:43.000 I'm great.

02:32:44.000 I feel great.

02:32:45.000 I'm going to be ultimately supportive and loving towards you.

02:32:47.000 You guys are the weirdest non-sexual couple I've ever met.

02:32:50.000 Yeah, it's too much sexual tension, I think. 0.88

02:32:51.000 I think you guys just need to put a finger in or something.

02:32:54.000 You might have to one day.

02:32:54.000 Look, the night is young, guys.

02:32:56.000 We're going to hit the town after this.

02:32:59.000 You guys might wind up married.

02:33:01.000 Is that possible? 0.98

02:33:02.000 So one day you guys get super famous and fucking flail away in the weeds of extracurricular relationships. 0.98

02:33:07.000 Ben and I will probably get married when we're in our 70s. 0.99

02:33:09.000 Maybe 60s.

02:33:10.000 No!

02:33:11.000 Forties!

02:33:12.000 Forties, so we still have some action under our belts? 1.00

02:33:14.000 Listen, there's a certain number of years you can put on your body when no one wants to fuck you anymore. 0.99

02:33:19.000 Here's what we're gonna do. 1.00

02:33:19.000 Unless you're like a classic. 1.00

02:33:20.000 We're gonna check in with you to make sure you're cool with it.

02:33:23.000 And then we'll try to take you for a spin. 0.67

02:33:25.000 I'm cool with it right now. 1.00

02:33:26.000 You want to take this shit to the next level, I'm cool with it. 0.98

02:33:27.000 Would you be the officiant? 1.00

02:33:28.000 Yeah, will you fucking... 1.00

02:33:29.000 Married? 1.00

02:33:30.000 Yeah, I've married people before.

02:33:32.000 I believe that.

02:33:33.000 I believe that in a heartbeat.

02:33:34.000 I'm an ordained minister. 1.00

02:33:35.000 Damn! 1.00

02:33:36.000 I'm not kidding. 1.00

02:33:37.000 Like one of those online churches.

02:33:40.000 I'm not kidding.

02:33:41.000 I'm not kidding.

02:33:41.000 They send me emails all the time.

02:33:43.000 I'm good.

02:33:44.000 I literally did marry a couple.

02:33:47.000 That's amazing.

02:33:48.000 That one fear factor together. 1.00

02:33:49.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:33:50.000 I married them in Vegas. 1.00

02:33:51.000 Oh, my God.

02:33:52.000 They were cool.

02:33:53.000 Are they still married, Joe?

02:33:54.000 Are they divorced?

02:33:54.000 Yeah.

02:33:55.000 I hope so.

02:33:56.000 I ran into someone a long time ago that knew them.

02:33:58.000 Ben, if you want me to make him function, am I driving?

02:34:01.000 Just blow it on her, homeboy. 1.00

02:34:02.000 Oh, you got an Uber. 0.94

02:34:04.000 No, I can't do it.

02:34:05.000 Don't worry, don't worry.

02:34:06.000 We're good.

02:34:06.000 I'll do it after we sing.

02:34:08.000 Oh, she went in for it. 0.96

02:34:14.000 She went in for it.

02:34:15.000 She went in for it.

02:34:16.000 No one called Suzanne Shinto a push head. 1.00

02:34:18.000 Listen, I'm trying to make something happen here, ladies and gentlemen.

02:34:21.000 This is my second person I've convinced into smoking weed this month.

02:34:25.000 Number one was Graham Hancock.

02:34:27.000 Graham Hancock!

02:34:29.000 A friend of mine, his name is BC, is going on...

02:34:33.000 You have a friend named Beastie?

02:34:34.000 His name is BC, and he's going on one of Graham Hancock's tours in Egypt, man. 0.98

02:34:40.000 He's super fucking punk. 0.98

02:34:41.000 I love the shit out of that guy. 0.99

02:34:42.000 And he was on the podcast, and he had taken a three-year break from marijuana, and he was talking about how he missed it. 0.99

02:34:47.000 Well, he realized he was kind of abusing it.

02:34:49.000 He was doing it all day.

02:34:50.000 And he was using it as a crutch.

02:34:52.000 And he did ayahuasca.

02:34:53.000 And he recognized the fact that he was using it as a crutch.

02:34:56.000 And then on the podcast, he was talking about how he missed it.

02:34:58.000 Yeah.

02:34:59.000 And so he took one, maybe two hits.

02:35:01.000 And then just...

02:35:03.000 Opened up like a flower.

02:35:05.000 Is that when you kissed him on the mouth?

02:35:07.000 No!

02:35:08.000 There's a reason why the table is so wide.

02:35:11.000 I don't trust my instinct.

02:35:13.000 I love him so much.

02:35:15.000 Just checking.

02:35:16.000 I just like to make sure.

02:35:18.000 He started talking with this great passion about these ancient civilizations that probably existed in Egypt and the resistance to accepting them. 0.96

02:35:26.000 And he has all this fucking beautiful rap that's like a song. 0.86

02:35:30.000 It's like a song when he really locks into it, when he really locks into this discussion of these ancient civilizations. 0.99

02:35:36.000 It's such a passion for him that he's constructed the narrative in this really beautiful, melodic sort of like a play.

02:35:47.000 So when he tells it to you, it's hypnotic.

02:35:49.000 You know, he's talking to you.

02:35:50.000 He's gone so deep into that stuff, man.

02:35:52.000 That's incredible. 0.99

02:35:53.000 And every year some new shit comes out that makes him more... 1.00

02:35:57.000 Where is that shit coming from? 1.00

02:35:59.000 What do you mean? 1.00

02:36:00.000 Which stuff? 0.99

02:36:00.000 So there's new shit. 0.99

02:36:01.000 Is that archaeology or something? 0.99

02:36:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:36:04.000 Well, there's every year.

02:36:05.000 If you don't know Graham Hancock...

02:36:08.000 Graham wrote an amazing book called The Fingerprints of the Gods.

02:36:13.000 Fingerprints of the Gods or Footprints of the Gods?

02:36:16.000 Fingerprints.

02:36:17.000 I think it's footprints.

02:36:20.000 Footprints is the two feet in the beach and stuff.

02:36:24.000 Footprints of the Gods?

02:36:25.000 Fingerprints.

02:36:26.000 Fingerprints of the Gods.

02:36:29.000 Okay, fingerprints.

02:36:30.000 Anyway, sorry.

02:36:31.000 I forget.

02:36:32.000 I've read it, and I forget.

02:36:33.000 It's just a title.

02:36:34.000 It's just a word.

02:36:35.000 Just a noise you make with your mouth.

02:36:37.000 But the idea behind it was that...

02:36:40.000 What he believed is that there are established areas of the world where there's archaeology that they can't quite explain.

02:36:48.000 Massive stones, cut with extreme precision, moved into position.

02:36:53.000 Well, isn't that what Stonehenge is?

02:36:54.000 Well, Stonehenge is nothing.

02:36:56.000 A place called Baalbek in Lebanon.

02:36:58.000 Something greater than Stonehenge? 1.00

02:37:00.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:37:01.000 Dude. 0.99

02:37:02.000 Enlighten me.

02:37:02.000 There's a bunch of them.

02:37:03.000 There's not just one.

02:37:04.000 There's a bunch of them.

02:37:06.000 The oldest pyramids have survived much longer than the newer pyramids.

02:37:10.000 There was a certain era.

02:37:11.000 I don't know about all that.

02:37:12.000 Well, that's in the book.

02:37:13.000 That's in Graham Hancock's book.

02:37:14.000 But the pyramid thing is really under dispute between people that are real legit Egyptologists and people like John Anthony West, who's this brilliant alternative Egyptology thinker, and Graham Hancock, and a lot of these revisionist guys.

02:37:29.000 There's still some debate as to what's correct and what's not correct.

02:37:32.000 But there's been a lot of evidence that dates the Great Pyramids, like the Pyramid of Giza, to 2500 BC. And that doesn't jive with this guy Robert Schock, who's a geologist at Boston University, and this guy John Anthony West and Graham Hancock,

02:37:49.000 who believe that there's all sorts of evidence that there was massive erosion that probably came from rainfall.

02:37:56.000 And one of them was on the inside, the enclosure of where the Sphinx was built.

02:37:59.000 So where the Sphinx was built, it was sort of cut out of this, you know, big stone quarry.

02:38:04.000 And the stones that were cut out were presumably smooth, but over like thousands and thousands of years have become like contoured.

02:38:12.000 And the debate is whether or not that contour is because of erosion with sand and wind or because of water.

02:38:19.000 And there's a bunch of geologists that have got behind the water, and they're saying, this is water erosion.

02:38:24.000 This is consistent with water erosion.

02:38:25.000 The number one being the most prominent, Robert Schock, who is a geologist at Boston University.

02:38:31.000 He's done a bunch of papers on this and explained that what we're probably looking at is thousands of years of rainfall that's eroded these things, which would predate the construction of this area, the cutout, the flat wall of this area, to like 9,000 B.C.,

02:38:47.000 Which they don't have any civilizations that they knew of before, like, that age. 0.98

02:38:52.000 Like, it was making that kind of shit. 0.94

02:38:53.000 But then they found some stuff in Turkey called Gobekli Tepe. 0.98

02:38:57.000 They found this, like, big structure that's like this...

02:38:59.000 They're just uncovering it now.

02:39:00.000 I think they've only got, like, 10% of it uncovered.

02:39:03.000 So every...

02:39:03.000 And this is 14,000 years old.

02:39:05.000 Between 12 and 14,000 years old. 0.94

02:39:07.000 So every year, like, they find more shit that makes Graham Hancock's theories, like, look more and more plausible.

02:39:13.000 And then he's got, together with a bunch of other people that know about, like... 0.95

02:39:17.000 Asteroidal impacts.

02:39:18.000 This guy, Randall Carlson, he's an expert on extinction events.

02:39:23.000 Asteroidal impacts and extinction events.

02:39:25.000 What has there been besides the dinosaur thing? 0.61

02:39:28.000 There's been a fuckload of them! 0.91

02:39:29.000 Bring it, dude! 0.99

02:39:30.000 There's been a fuckload of them! 0.96

02:39:31.000 What are you talking? 0.95

02:39:32.000 They think they happen all the time, man.

02:39:34.000 They think they happen every 12, 13,000 years.

02:39:36.000 Okay, so 12, 13,000 years ago, what went extinct as a result of an asteroid explosion?

02:39:42.000 I don't even know what I'm saying.

02:39:43.000 They believe.

02:39:44.000 There's a lot of guesswork when it comes to anything that's like 12,000 years ago.

02:39:49.000 There's a lot of like, what the hell happened?

02:39:50.000 Who knows?

02:39:52.000 We like to think of 12,000 as like, look, if you have $12,000, you can't buy a house.

02:39:57.000 I really want $12,000.

02:39:59.000 If you buy a car for $12,000, don't expect to impress anybody.

02:40:07.000 $12,000 is not much.

02:40:09.000 So 12,000 years, eh, what is that?

02:40:12.000 It doesn't seem like that much. 0.98

02:40:13.000 But it's a fucking long time! 0.99

02:40:18.000 That's a lot of years. 0.97

02:40:18.000 And 12,000 years ago, it's very possible that Earth was smashed. 0.97

02:40:23.000 All over the place with these asteroid impacts.

02:40:26.000 They keep finding all this stuff.

02:40:29.000 Like they found recently, they found these micro diamonds that indicate some sort of impact.

02:40:34.000 And then they found this stuff called nuclear glass.

02:40:36.000 It's like called tritonite or something like that.

02:40:39.000 And it comes from impacts.

02:40:40.000 From these giant rocks just slamming into the earth.

02:40:43.000 And it's all, all over like Europe and Asia.

02:40:46.000 It's all around 12,000 years ago.

02:40:49.000 Does that speak to any extinction that happened?

02:40:52.000 Or is it the kind of thing where like, okay, these had an impact in a different part of the world, so it didn't affect the environment like the dinosaur.

02:41:02.000 I'm totally talking out of school. 0.99

02:41:04.000 I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. 0.95

02:41:05.000 I have no scholarly degrees on any of these subjects. 0.98

02:41:08.000 You're very convincing.

02:41:09.000 But the way it's been explained to me is there's a great mystery involving what happens when you have some big extinction event, where you have no saber-toothed tigers left, you have no woolly-toothed mammals.

02:41:24.000 What happened?

02:41:24.000 How'd they all die?

02:41:26.000 And they've pinpointed a very specific time and it corresponds the same time they're finding this stuff all over the place.

02:41:33.000 This stuff when they do the core samples. 0.97

02:41:35.000 So some it's very like this somewhere around 12,000 years ago, we got fucked up! 0.81

02:41:42.000 Giant rocks from the sky just came down and fucked everything up and a few few people made it, you know, who knows how many?

02:41:50.000 So the humans were actually present then?

02:41:53.000 Most likely.

02:41:54.000 Yeah, 100%.

02:41:55.000 12,000 years ago is not that long.

02:41:57.000 Weird.

02:41:58.000 We probably looked exactly like us.

02:42:00.000 Oh, totally.

02:42:03.000 Tattoos.

02:42:04.000 I don't mean like that, but I mean like our structure.

02:42:07.000 Like if you took a dude, they probably didn't get as much food, so they were probably like smaller.

02:42:13.000 But if you took a person...

02:42:14.000 Same brain, though.

02:42:14.000 Very similar.

02:42:15.000 If you took a person...

02:42:17.000 You know, a regular person from 12,000 years ago put them in a movie theater and walked by them while you were sitting in your seat.

02:42:24.000 You have no idea.

02:42:25.000 It looked like you.

02:42:26.000 I mean, it was us.

02:42:28.000 Jesus Christ.

02:42:29.000 So those people probably had to start all over.

02:42:32.000 But depending on where, this is what I'm trying to understand, is depending on where the asteroid...

02:42:39.000 Why did you make me smoke weed?

02:42:41.000 It's going to go great.

02:42:43.000 It's just going to get better.

02:42:44.000 I lost my sparkle.

02:42:46.000 It's there.

02:42:48.000 What sparkle did you lose?

02:42:50.000 I lost my sparkle.

02:42:51.000 What happened?

02:42:53.000 Please continue what you were saying.

02:42:54.000 I'm just going to hang.

02:42:56.000 Why'd you lose your sparkle? 0.94

02:42:58.000 I don't know.

02:43:00.000 See, this is what I'm saying.

02:43:01.000 I'm not a good weed smoker.

02:43:03.000 You're a fine weed smoker.

02:43:04.000 I think you're killing it.

02:43:05.000 I think you guys should talk and I should not put this on the internet.

02:43:08.000 Do you want to play a show?

02:43:09.000 No!

02:43:10.000 Are you sure?

02:43:11.000 I think that would be awesome.

02:43:16.000 Fingerprints of the Gods by Graham Hancock.

02:43:19.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Fingerprints of the Gods.

02:43:21.000 Available at Amazon.com. 0.99

02:43:22.000 God damn it! 0.98

02:43:23.000 Too much? 0.99

02:43:24.000 No, I feel bad. 0.99

02:43:25.000 Is Amazon super fucked up, Joe? 0.99

02:43:27.000 No. 1.00

02:43:28.000 No, if it did, it would have missiles and tanks. 0.98

02:43:31.000 It's definitely not super fucked up. 0.99

02:43:33.000 I think if you're looking at like a scale of fucked up, Amazon's nowhere near like super fucked up. 0.97

02:43:39.000 They're super convenient. 0.99

02:43:42.000 You get on that Amazon one crook. 1.00

02:43:44.000 Are they running shit and chasing people out of the fucking business? 1.00

02:43:49.000 I don't know, man. 1.00

02:43:50.000 Crushing things?

02:43:51.000 Is that what they're doing?

02:43:52.000 I don't know.

02:43:53.000 I don't know.

02:43:53.000 That's got to be a general result.

02:43:55.000 Are we talking Amazon.com?

02:43:56.000 Yeah. 0.78

02:43:57.000 Oh man, they make life so fucking convenient. 0.91

02:43:59.000 But is that sacrificing anything else? 0.97

02:44:02.000 I ask because I don't know.

02:44:03.000 I don't know.

02:44:04.000 That depends.

02:44:04.000 I mean, the people that they're sort of affecting are the big business, like Target.

02:44:12.000 Whatever.

02:44:13.000 You can buy your toilet paper, your dish soap, your laundry detergent on Amazon, and it'll show up in two days.

02:44:19.000 What about the small internet vendors?

02:44:22.000 It's not that tailored.

02:44:27.000 Sometimes there's intricate vitamin supplements or whatever, but for the most part, it's the...

02:44:36.000 Yo, I'm good.

02:44:38.000 No, no, no, I'm massaging my chest. 0.99

02:44:40.000 This show is out of fucking control. 0.98

02:44:43.000 But this is kind of the weird stuff I'm talking about. 1.00

02:44:45.000 Are you touching your nipples? 0.99

02:44:46.000 I don't know if Amazon's bad, but I'm not inclined. 0.99

02:44:51.000 We don't know what's going to happen.

02:44:52.000 We're fine.

02:44:53.000 We're amongst friends.

02:44:53.000 How are we going to get home?

02:44:55.000 We're amongst friends.

02:44:56.000 We're amongst friends.

02:44:58.000 Jesus Christ, relax.

02:44:59.000 I don't know.

02:45:00.000 Maybe it was too much of a question.

02:45:02.000 Wait, can I go back to Amazon? 1.00

02:45:03.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:45:04.000 I think Amazon is amazing. 1.00

02:45:06.000 Super convenient.

02:45:07.000 It kind of takes a little dig at the big business for convenient purposes. 0.99

02:45:15.000 If you have Prime, you can get all this shit in two days. 0.95

02:45:17.000 But it's not like you can get an intricate, tailored item that you need for the most part. 0.98

02:45:25.000 Sure.

02:45:26.000 I guess that makes sense.

02:45:27.000 I don't necessarily think it cuts out business as much as it grows their business and they're very efficient and it's convenient for people. 0.98

02:45:36.000 But they kind of have a monopoly on the, like, we're going to ship shit for you thing. 0.91

02:45:41.000 Well, do they have a monopoly on it? 0.98

02:45:43.000 I don't know.

02:45:43.000 I don't think they do.

02:45:45.000 I think a lot of people sell things online.

02:45:49.000 They're just really good at figuring out that you can make it super convenient in one click.

02:45:56.000 I mean, they're one of the few companies that started that, right?

02:45:59.000 Here's why I think it's a monopoly, though.

02:46:00.000 And this is just for me.

02:46:01.000 Can you think of one other company that does the same thing?

02:46:04.000 You're on Amazon. 1.00

02:46:06.000 They sell your shit on Amazon. 1.00

02:46:08.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:46:10.000 Wait, how much are they selling that for? 1.00

02:46:12.000 I think it's on sale.

02:46:14.000 Oh, no. 1.00

02:46:15.000 Shit. 1.00

02:46:15.000 They just dropped the price. 1.00

02:46:17.000 Why are you talking shit? 1.00

02:46:18.000 Amazon dropped the price. 1.00

02:46:19.000 It's a great service.

02:46:20.000 Very convenient. 1.00

02:46:22.000 I'll show you, bitch. 1.00

02:46:22.000 Smack. 1.00

02:46:22.000 I think... 1.00

02:46:23.000 Hey, P.S., I love Amazon.

02:46:25.000 Very thankful to them.

02:46:25.000 I love Amazon, too.

02:46:26.000 I'm kind of...

02:46:27.000 I get like...

02:46:27.000 If I get drunk at night, like...

02:46:29.000 Ben's not a big fan of Amazon.

02:46:31.000 Just kidding. 1.00

02:46:31.000 I will just order shit on Amazon like a jerk. 1.00

02:46:33.000 Just ask me questions. 1.00

02:46:35.000 What are you asking?

02:46:36.000 Do you have a question?

02:46:37.000 No, I did.

02:46:38.000 I already asked it.

02:46:39.000 Anyway.

02:46:41.000 Oh, man.

02:46:42.000 It's nothing wrong with it.

02:46:43.000 They're just the best at it.

02:46:45.000 They're great.

02:46:46.000 Order. 1.00

02:46:46.000 They send you your shit. 1.00

02:46:47.000 Sorry if you can't keep up. 1.00

02:46:49.000 Yeah, but now there's Alibaba. 0.98

02:46:51.000 So that might change shit. 0.98

02:46:53.000 What's that? 0.99

02:46:54.000 Alibaba is like the Amazon...

02:46:55.000 Yeah, I don't know what this is either.

02:46:56.000 Okay, Alibaba...

02:46:58.000 Let's do this.

02:46:58.000 How do I not know something that you know?

02:47:00.000 I've heard about Alibaba because I was passing.

02:47:03.000 This is how much I think life is a simulation.

02:47:05.000 I was passing by this newspaper rack and there's this dude and it was like, Alibaba now worth more than Google, Facebook, Apple.

02:47:12.000 Biggest publicly traded company in the world.

02:47:14.000 I think. 0.99

02:47:15.000 And I was walking by and I was like, what the fuck am I doing? 0.99

02:47:20.000 What is this? 0.99

02:47:21.000 What am I looking at? 0.99

02:47:22.000 What the fuck is Alibaba? 0.99

02:47:25.000 That was Pete Townsend's side project. 0.99

02:47:30.000 What is Alibaba?

02:47:32.000 As far as I understand it, it's...

02:47:34.000 The movie Aladdin.

02:47:37.000 Do you know?

02:47:38.000 Alibala? 0.54

02:47:39.000 Sorry.

02:47:39.000 That startup that made unbelievable tons of money.

02:47:41.000 It's like an Asian equivalent of Amazon. 0.94

02:47:44.000 They facilitate businesses trading with consumers.

02:47:48.000 Yeah, I know what it is.

02:47:49.000 So it's like Amazon for China?

02:47:50.000 What you do is you're hiring companies to do things for you.

02:47:55.000 So if you want a thousand wallets with your face on it, you can get a company to do that.

02:48:02.000 I don't think it's a manufacturer.

02:48:05.000 No, no, they just, it's like a directory of manufacturers.

02:48:08.000 Or like a distribution network.

02:48:10.000 Middleman, okay.

02:48:11.000 Yeah, and it's basically, it's similar to Amazon, but it's just gotten so big, and because China is such a huge marketplace, it just went global, and it's, at least at the time that it was going out, the biggest globally traded company, or was going to be, on the precipice of that.

02:48:27.000 Wow.

02:48:29.000 When you think about the numbers of people too, the Asian market is like, think about how many people are in China.

02:48:35.000 It's like a billion plus, right?

02:48:37.000 1.6 billion.

02:48:38.000 Oh my god, is it that high?

02:48:39.000 Yeah.

02:48:41.000 Is that real?

02:48:42.000 Six billion?

02:48:43.000 Probably more than that.

02:48:45.000 So, like, close to a million, like, say, two hundred, like, one point, a billion, two million.

02:48:55.000 A thousand million plus another six hundred million.

02:48:57.000 Sorry, six hundred thousand million.

02:49:00.000 More than what we are.

02:49:02.000 Yeah.

02:49:04.000 That's insane.

02:49:05.000 Because we're at 350 million, right?

02:49:07.000 Yeah.

02:49:08.000 Oh my god. 0.99

02:49:09.000 Just think about how many goddamn people that is. 0.99

02:49:11.000 It's bad, isn't it? 0.99

02:49:12.000 No.

02:49:13.000 What's bad?

02:49:13.000 You're fine.

02:49:14.000 I'm having a moment with Jamie.

02:49:15.000 Just stop and think.

02:49:16.000 Think about how many more. 0.99

02:49:18.000 Am I being a dick? 0.98

02:49:19.000 No, I love you guys so much. 0.94

02:49:21.000 Everybody's good.

02:49:22.000 Just think about the numbers.

02:49:23.000 Think about how many Chinese folks there are.

02:49:25.000 And then add that to Asian folks. 0.96

02:49:28.000 That's another billion.

02:49:29.000 Can I drink this?

02:49:29.000 Yeah, sure.

02:49:30.000 Have some more.

02:49:31.000 Thanks.

02:49:31.000 Think about that.

02:49:32.000 Asian folks.

02:49:33.000 What's going on?

02:49:34.000 That's a lot.

02:49:34.000 Asian folks like China...

02:49:37.000 India.

02:49:38.000 India is another billion, right? 0.96

02:49:40.000 Mm-hmm.

02:49:40.000 Close to it.

02:49:41.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:49:42.000 Fucking dude. 1.00

02:49:43.000 Japan. 1.00

02:49:44.000 Indonesia.

02:49:45.000 You know, that whole area. 0.99

02:49:47.000 God damn, that's a lot of people. 0.99

02:49:49.000 It's amazing, though. 0.99

02:49:49.000 It's really... 0.99

02:49:50.000 Man, it's exciting.

02:49:51.000 Have you been...

02:49:52.000 When was the last time you were in Japan?

02:49:53.000 We are a swarm.

02:50:00.000 We're a swarm on this planet.

02:50:02.000 We're a swarm.

02:50:03.000 There's billions of us.

02:50:04.000 You were like this when you did it.

02:50:06.000 We are a swarm.

02:50:07.000 I was trying to be like Wonder Woman.

02:50:09.000 I was thinking strong Linda Carter.

02:50:11.000 Again, we're all this together. 0.99

02:50:13.000 We're all the fucking swarm bees and beehive. 1.00

02:50:15.000 We're a swarm. 1.00

02:50:16.000 I'm breaking the honey.

02:50:17.000 There's a lot of us.

02:50:19.000 I know.

02:50:19.000 You knew that was coming.

02:50:20.000 No, I didn't.

02:50:20.000 No, come on.

02:50:22.000 So, it's the low-hanging fruit.

02:50:23.000 I mean, that was obvious. 0.99

02:50:24.000 There is a fucking lot of us. 0.99

02:50:26.000 There sure is, Joe. 0.99

02:50:28.000 You know?

02:50:28.000 I mean, there's still plenty of space.

02:50:30.000 Don't get me wrong.

02:50:31.000 Which is why some of us, us good friends, should band together, live in a commune.

02:50:36.000 Are you calling cult already?

02:50:38.000 I'm just saying, I want in.

02:50:40.000 It starts out you call it a commune.

02:50:40.000 We want in on your chickens and your hunting excursions.

02:50:43.000 The police call it a cult.

02:50:46.000 Chickens.

02:50:46.000 This is all this chicken conversation.

02:50:48.000 Oh my god.

02:50:48.000 Farm fresh eggs every morning.

02:50:49.000 Hello.

02:50:50.000 I think that would be like one of the best things you could do other than plant vegetables.

02:50:54.000 Plant vegetables is equally satisfying.

02:50:57.000 It's a beautiful thing.

02:50:57.000 Do you plant your own vegetables?

02:50:58.000 Yeah.

02:50:59.000 It's cool.

02:51:00.000 No.

02:51:01.000 To be able to pull vegetables out of the ground.

02:51:03.000 I mean, I don't do enough of it.

02:51:05.000 I would like to do all of my vegetables, like planted garden vegetables.

02:51:08.000 I just think that would be the coolest thing, to have a complete, direct relationship with all the food you eat.

02:51:15.000 That would be amazing.

02:51:18.000 We're missing that, right?

02:51:19.000 So, like, if you eat a chicken, are you like, thank you, Harriet, the chicken, for your faithful duty of fulfilling our dietary needs?

02:51:29.000 No.

02:51:30.000 Okay.

02:51:31.000 I just go lizard.

02:51:32.000 You eat lizards?

02:51:33.000 No, I just go lizard part of the brain.

02:51:36.000 Is that like shrimping out mentally? 0.95

02:51:38.000 No, if you're going to kill a chicken, you just go lizard. 0.68

02:51:41.000 You can't have a lot of compassion.

02:51:43.000 Oh, I see, I see.

02:51:44.000 You know what, I can hang, honestly, as far as the spirit animal connections go, chickens don't feel connected to them.

02:51:52.000 Cows, pigs, goats, I feel it.

02:51:56.000 It's a different thing with mammals.

02:51:57.000 I don't want to, oh yeah.

02:52:00.000 You know, chickens are weird.

02:52:02.000 They're dinosaurs.

02:52:03.000 They're a strange bird that probably doesn't make sense.

02:52:06.000 They don't look into my soul. 0.99

02:52:07.000 They don't fucking fly. 0.99

02:52:09.000 We're keeping them around. 0.99

02:52:10.000 We're the reason they're around.

02:52:12.000 Yeah.

02:52:12.000 What are we looking at?

02:52:14.000 Why are you putting a picture?

02:52:16.000 You're looking at the time.

02:52:17.000 Why are you doing that?

02:52:18.000 So if you wanted to play another song.

02:52:20.000 We don't have to play another song.

02:52:22.000 We could just talk.

02:52:23.000 Brian, don't worry about it, buddy.

02:52:25.000 We're talking about chickens.

02:52:27.000 Yeah, we're just having fun.

02:52:28.000 And their souls.

02:52:30.000 This is what happens after we light up a joint.

02:52:33.000 Chickens and cows and goats.

02:52:36.000 There's so many differences in their spiritual connectivity.

02:52:41.000 We're going now.

02:52:42.000 You got it.

02:52:43.000 You painted the picture.

02:52:44.000 You dared me to smoke the gunge.

02:52:47.000 This is what you get.

02:52:48.000 Susie, Susie, it's okay.

02:52:49.000 Try his job.

02:52:50.000 This is bad, isn't it?

02:52:52.000 No, it's fine.

02:52:53.000 We're talking about virtual farms.

02:52:56.000 Joe, I have a question.

02:52:59.000 Ben, please, give your hand up.

02:53:01.000 You guys are in class today.

02:53:03.000 Thank you for calling me.

02:53:03.000 Keep raising your hands.

02:53:05.000 This is like Lord of the Flies in here, dude.

02:53:07.000 Someone's gotta pass the bone.

02:53:09.000 You know what I mean?

02:53:09.000 Lord of the Flies?

02:53:11.000 Jesus, Ben.

02:53:12.000 Violent, Ben.

02:53:13.000 I'm sorry.

02:53:14.000 Jesus.

02:53:15.000 That's not what the whole book was about, man.

02:53:17.000 Eventually, it was about violence.

02:53:19.000 Okay, that's that story.

02:53:20.000 We're making our own.

02:53:21.000 It's so dark.

02:53:22.000 Okay.

02:53:22.000 It's getting dark.

02:53:23.000 I want to say Lord of the Flies.

02:53:24.000 I still have my question.

02:53:25.000 I'm sorry.

02:53:25.000 If you had a Lord of the Rings reference, I would have been more excited.

02:53:27.000 But you had to go with Flies. 0.56

02:53:29.000 Sorry.

02:53:29.000 I'm sorry, guys.

02:53:32.000 Vegetables.

02:53:33.000 What you're growing in your garden, is it native to here?

02:53:37.000 Good question.

02:53:38.000 That's a very good question.

02:53:39.000 He's such a thinker, Benjamin.

02:53:40.000 Yeah, that's a good question.

02:53:41.000 It is.

02:53:43.000 What is, if you're going to grow lettuce, what's lettuce, like a regular romaine lettuce?

02:53:53.000 What's that native to?

02:53:54.000 I have no idea.

02:53:55.000 North America.

02:53:55.000 Romania.

02:53:56.000 I mean, we grow it in Ohio.

02:53:58.000 Right.

02:53:58.000 I mean, it's just a regular North American plant.

02:54:01.000 I don't think it's a desert plant.

02:54:01.000 I don't think the weather doesn't have to be...

02:54:04.000 Jesus Christ.

02:54:05.000 You know, it could just be...

02:54:07.000 You just need to have sunlight.

02:54:08.000 Guys, we got Google.

02:54:09.000 That's all I'm saying.

02:54:11.000 There's some crops that need more sunlight. 0.99

02:54:14.000 That should be a fucking t-shirt. 0.99

02:54:16.000 That should be a t-shirt. 1.00

02:54:17.000 Will you stand there like this?

02:54:19.000 Guys, we got Google.

02:54:20.000 Guys, we got Google.

02:54:21.000 That's all I'm saying.

02:54:21.000 No, I don't want to align myself to that brand.

02:54:23.000 That's a shirt.

02:54:23.000 That's a meme, bro.

02:54:24.000 It's going to happen.

02:54:25.000 Now you're going to meme.

02:54:26.000 Remember I got memes last time?

02:54:27.000 Ben Jaffe's getting memed. 1.00

02:54:29.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:54:29.000 Put your finger back up like that. 1.00

02:54:31.000 It was great. 1.00

02:54:31.000 You are memed the fuck. 1.00

02:54:31.000 Somebody freeze-creamed that. 1.00

02:54:33.000 You memed the fuck on here, son. 0.99

02:54:35.000 It's very important you get memed there. 1.00

02:54:36.000 Because you're saying it.

02:54:37.000 It's not going to happen.

02:54:38.000 That's how it works.

02:54:39.000 That's not how it works.

02:54:41.000 I don't know how it works.

02:54:42.000 No one knows how it works.

02:54:43.000 We don't know.

02:54:44.000 Last time it was Butter My Scone.

02:54:48.000 Butter My Scone?

02:54:49.000 I think we should play a song.

02:54:50.000 Okay.

02:54:50.000 Unless it's not...

02:54:52.000 Which one do you want to...

02:54:53.000 Well, Joe?

02:54:54.000 Please.

02:54:54.000 Do you want us to play a song?

02:54:55.000 Anything.

02:54:56.000 Ben, what should we play?

02:54:58.000 We were trying to figure this out before.

02:54:59.000 Do you want ballad or non-ballad?

02:55:02.000 I want whatever you guys want to play. 1.00

02:55:04.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:55:05.000 Okay. 1.00

02:55:06.000 Fuckity fuck. 1.00

02:55:07.000 You want a paper, rock, scissors? 1.00

02:55:08.000 For what?

02:55:08.000 What's the choices?

02:55:10.000 I'll be ballad, and you'll be, um...

02:55:14.000 No, what are the songs?

02:55:16.000 Oh, oh, oh, oh, Burned Me Out and Bad People.

02:55:18.000 I think we should do Burn Me Out.

02:55:20.000 I think it's a beautiful song.

02:55:23.000 Okay.

02:55:24.000 Is it possible to make a request for any time in the future?

02:55:27.000 Yes, sir.

02:55:28.000 Could you do Let's Get Wrecked? 1.00

02:55:30.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

02:55:31.000 Yeah, we could do that. 1.00

02:55:32.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:55:33.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:55:34.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:55:35.000 They double, oh, shit. 1.00

02:55:36.000 Well, that's going to be, I mean, can we put that on ice for a second? 1.00

02:55:42.000 For a second?

02:55:43.000 Yeah, because...

02:55:44.000 Yeah.

02:55:44.000 We don't have the necessary instruments.

02:55:46.000 We could do an acoustic version.

02:55:48.000 That's what I'm talking about.

02:55:49.000 I'm not asking you to bring in a band.

02:55:51.000 But it's not as good as the other stuff that we had prepared. 1.00

02:55:52.000 Oh, shit! 0.99

02:55:53.000 I think we could do a cool one. 1.00

02:55:55.000 Alright.

02:55:56.000 I'm not playing guitar, though.

02:55:57.000 No, no.

02:55:57.000 I'll do that.

02:55:58.000 Okay.

02:55:59.000 I'm so scared.

02:55:59.000 I have no idea what you guys are arguing over.

02:56:02.000 That's what I love about being musically...

02:56:04.000 But I'm fine.

02:56:05.000 If you don't...

02:56:06.000 Listen, if you guys are more comfortable doing something else, please don't listen to me.

02:56:09.000 Let's do Burn Me Out. 0.99

02:56:11.000 Well, now I feel like a dick. 0.93

02:56:12.000 You don't have to do that. 0.98

02:56:14.000 No, no, don't.

02:56:15.000 I don't want to put you on the spot.

02:56:16.000 That's not fair. 0.99

02:56:16.000 Damn it, Joe. 0.99

02:56:17.000 We just want you to be happy. 1.00

02:56:18.000 I'm happy already.

02:56:19.000 You got me stoned.

02:56:20.000 We can stop this thing right now. 1.00

02:56:21.000 Shit's weird. 1.00

02:56:21.000 I put my glasses on. 1.00

02:56:22.000 We can end this shit before it gets ugly. 1.00

02:56:24.000 And we'll all be happy. 1.00

02:56:27.000 Okay. 1.00

02:56:28.000 Okay, so, fuck. 1.00

02:56:31.000 Judges? 1.00

02:56:32.000 Play whatever you want, please.

02:56:33.000 Whatever you guys want to want.

02:56:35.000 Go ahead.

02:56:37.000 Any song that's in your head right now.

02:56:40.000 Ben, what's in your head?

02:56:41.000 What's in your head, Ben?

02:56:42.000 Let's do Burn Me Out.

02:56:43.000 Do we have four minutes?

02:56:43.000 Burn Me Out.

02:56:44.000 Burn Me Out. 0.84

02:56:45.000 Is it a four-minute song? 1.00

02:56:47.000 Don't worry about this fucking stupid clock. 1.00

02:56:50.000 Ben, I can see your ankles. 1.00

02:56:51.000 That's what they look like. 1.00

02:56:53.000 Ride that bitch. 1.00

02:56:53.000 It's a heartbreaking song. 1.00

02:56:54.000 Ride into the rocks.

02:56:55.000 Come on, stop. 1.00

02:56:56.000 No, it is.

02:56:56.000 It's beautiful.

02:56:57.000 We're going to ride this boat into the rocks, kids.

02:57:00.000 Okay.

02:57:00.000 This is called Burn Me Out.

02:57:02.000 WJRE. Late night.

02:57:05.000 You creeper.

02:57:06.000 710 Pacific. 0.98

02:57:07.000 It's weird if I have a boner.

02:57:08.000 Honey, honey. 0.89

02:57:10.000 Yeah, you're a girl. 1.00

02:57:11.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:57:12.000 Come on, Joe. 1.00

02:57:13.000 Just go with it.

02:57:13.000 Jesus Christ.

02:57:14.000 Ben, Suzanne.

02:57:16.000 Oh, that sounds weird.

02:57:17.000 Jesus.

02:57:17.000 Thank you.

02:57:18.000 Let's check that out.

02:57:19.000 Hold on.

02:57:21.000 Why don't you use the tuner on that amplifier?

02:57:24.000 Excellent.

02:57:26.000 Look, guys, don't say I never had a good idea. 0.99

02:57:29.000 What kind of wonky-ass nonsense bullshit type...

02:57:30.000 So, no, but seriously, let's take an opportunity to say that we're going on tour and we really, really want to see you guys, whoever is listening, if you're in the cities, on our website. 0.97

02:57:40.000 Yes.

02:57:40.000 They're posted on our website.

02:57:42.000 And what's that website, Suzanne?

02:57:44.000 HoneyHoneyBand.com HoneyHoneyBand.com We're going to be in Texas, in Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, Louisiana, California.

02:57:53.000 HoneyHoneyBand.com We're going to be in the state of your mom's house.

02:57:56.000 The YouTube video might, just so the audio listeners will be...

02:58:00.000 Ustream.

02:58:01.000 Yeah, Ustream.

02:58:02.000 Yeah, Ustream.

02:58:04.000 If you give out on me, I understand. 1.00

02:58:05.000 You weak-ass bitch. 1.00

02:58:08.000 You can only do three hours. 1.00

02:58:10.000 Have we been doing a podcast for three hours?

02:58:12.000 Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

02:58:14.000 Okay.

02:58:15.000 Ustream is strong.

02:58:16.000 They're going to hang in there.

02:58:16.000 I feel this.

02:58:17.000 This is a new ballad.

02:58:19.000 I feel this.

02:58:21.000 Hopefully it'll be on our record.

02:58:23.000 If not, you'll have it here forever.

02:58:25.000 Here it is.

02:58:25.000 Okay.

02:58:26.000 It's called Burn Me Out.

02:58:30.000 Yeah.

02:58:31.000 Yeah.

02:58:52.000 Oh, babe, I gotta say I learned the hard way with you Your words like books had me hooked like summertime Cooking up my mind all the way through I guess I held on too tight I broke

02:59:22.000 my fingers on your floor that night and I lost my faith in my own breath Who knew that love could feel like death?

02:59:39.000 But it's not your concern And all I really learn Is all your roundabout All men they burn me You say that God knows the way But

03:00:12.000 I'm standing in the dark I soaked you up You rung me out here on a line Messing up my time in the park Oh,

03:00:28.000 but it's not your concern Oh man,

03:00:48.000 they burned me out.

03:00:55.000 It don't feel good this goodbye, but by and by we'll go.

03:01:35.000 I won't put it all on you I am well aware that I caused us trouble too And I won't look back on you with anger No, I won't Even if you do the same or if you don't Oh,

03:01:57.000 but it's not your concern Cause all your rounds are roundabouts Oh man,

03:02:16.000 they burn me out They just burn, burn me out Alright. 0.99

03:02:37.000 That was fucking cool. 0.99

03:02:39.000 That was fucking cool. 0.99

03:02:42.000 God. 0.94

03:02:43.000 You guys are awesome.

03:02:45.000 You're awesome, Joe.

03:02:46.000 It's so cool to be friends with you guys, for real.

03:02:48.000 Oh, man. 0.93

03:02:49.000 I'm so goddamn impressed. 0.60

03:02:52.000 I just love when I see someone, like when I see...

03:02:58.000 like a band that like taps into this weird like very consistent kind of special energy that comes from like songs that just flow your songs like your songs are so like representative of you guys you know it's weird knowing you guys as friends and then like seeing your writing and seeing the music and the singing together and seeing like the new songs being created it's really fascinating it's so weird I have no skill musically or talent or knowledge or

03:03:29.000 nothing.

03:03:29.000 Stop that.

03:03:29.000 That's not true.

03:03:30.000 That's not true at all.

03:03:31.000 That's 100% true.

03:03:32.000 No, I'm telling you. 0.99

03:03:33.000 So when I see someone who can sing and people who can put music together, fascinating shit, man. 0.99

03:03:40.000 That was awesome. 0.98

03:03:41.000 Thanks, man.

03:03:42.000 Thanks for having us.

03:03:44.000 Anytime.

03:03:45.000 Anytime. 1.00

03:03:45.000 You guys are the shit. 1.00

03:03:47.000 This is awesome. 1.00

03:03:48.000 To this day, only band I've ever worked with.

03:03:51.000 We would never work with anybody else.

03:03:54.000 Well, Everlast.

03:03:55.000 Oh, but never on the road.

03:03:58.000 Never for a show.

03:03:59.000 We've talked about doing it. 1.00

03:04:00.000 That would be the shit. 1.00

03:04:01.000 You guys, Everlast, Joey Diaz. 1.00

03:04:07.000 We love to go on the road.

03:04:08.000 I feel like it's a lot like comedy, or stand-up at least.

03:04:11.000 I don't know.

03:04:12.000 I've never done stand-up, but I just feel like performing, it's kind of the same.

03:04:16.000 Energy or idea, you know? 0.91

03:04:19.000 I mean, I think it's all like whatever the fuck you're trying to get out of you through whatever medium, whether it's playing the violin or doing stand-up. 0.95

03:04:29.000 It's all what's trying to get out of you. 0.99

03:04:31.000 Whether it's building a house, whether it's fucking putting a car together. 0.95

03:04:36.000 When people do things, they're trying to express something about their own curiosity and creativity is trying to put something together so they can show it to other people and go, look! 0.97

03:04:46.000 Look!

03:04:47.000 Whether it's, you know, creating a book or creating an idea that turns into a song, that turns into a hit, that turns...

03:04:53.000 It's like we're trying to get something.

03:04:55.000 We're like, look at that, look, look, look, look.

03:04:57.000 Look, I found this.

03:04:58.000 I found this in the other dimension.

03:05:00.000 Dimension of creativity.

03:05:01.000 I brought it back.

03:05:02.000 Look, look, look, look, look.

03:05:03.000 All you have to do is you sit down by yourself and you tune in.

03:05:07.000 You just got to tune in and you write everything down and you figure it out and then you practice it and look, look, look what I got now.

03:05:12.000 I mean, that's what you're doing. 0.96

03:05:14.000 That's what anybody who's creating anything, whether they're creating a movie, they're figuring out how to, like, go deep in the imagination and, like, pull something out of their fucking head and hold it up for you. 0.97

03:05:26.000 Yeah. 0.97

03:05:27.000 And what's so cool?

03:05:28.000 Sorry.

03:05:29.000 No, I'm serious.

03:05:30.000 I was into that.

03:05:32.000 You just blacked out, son.

03:05:33.000 No, no, no.

03:05:34.000 We lost each other.

03:05:34.000 I blacked out, too.

03:05:36.000 I don't remember my last words.

03:05:37.000 I'm with you, my friend.

03:05:38.000 I'm with you too, but I don't know why.

03:05:40.000 I'm just unity.

03:05:41.000 Stay together.

03:05:42.000 Yeah, let's do it.

03:05:43.000 Stay to the road.

03:05:44.000 Stay off the moors.

03:05:46.000 Stay alert, stay alive.

03:05:47.000 What did you call me?

03:05:48.000 I said stay alert, stay alive.

03:05:50.000 Did you call me Susan?

03:05:51.000 No, I said Susan all the way.

03:05:55.000 That's my new tattoo, Susan all the way.

03:05:59.000 Yes!

03:05:59.000 Oh my god!

03:06:01.000 That should be a trend.

03:06:03.000 Hashtag. 0.98

03:06:06.000 If you're thinking about doing that, I'm fucking kidding. 0.99

03:06:08.000 Don't get that tattooed. 1.00

03:06:09.000 Jesus Christ.

03:06:10.000 If you do, you and I are going to spend some time together.

03:06:13.000 Whoa, Jesus.

03:06:14.000 Just kidding.

03:06:16.000 That's pretty...

03:06:17.000 There was way too big of a gap between what you said and the words.

03:06:21.000 Just kidding.

03:06:22.000 I'm drunk and a little stoned.

03:06:24.000 The gap was giant.

03:06:25.000 That gap was too big.

03:06:26.000 It was too great.

03:06:27.000 That was fun.

03:06:28.000 We should drop what I just said.

03:06:30.000 We're fine.

03:06:31.000 We're together.

03:06:31.000 We're all friends.

03:06:33.000 Whatever.

03:06:34.000 I'm just going to keep forcing ahead with this.

03:06:36.000 I don't know when we stop.

03:06:37.000 I think we're supposed to stop.

03:06:38.000 We're talking about all this.

03:06:40.000 We're talking about this.

03:06:41.000 Whatever we want.

03:06:41.000 This is the internet.

03:06:42.000 What you just said about the well of creativity.

03:06:45.000 The exciting point to me about that is it's all the same thing.

03:06:50.000 It's the same well.

03:06:51.000 And the only difference then is just some sort of technical aspect.

03:06:55.000 Did you learn to do stand-up?

03:06:57.000 Did you learn to play the guitar?

03:06:58.000 Did you learn to make movies?

03:07:00.000 It doesn't make a difference.

03:07:02.000 You know, that's just...

03:07:04.000 Like what the path of your creativity flows through.

03:07:07.000 Yeah.

03:07:07.000 Whether it's your painting, or whether it's your music, or whether it's your, whatever it is, the path of your creativity, whatever it flows through.

03:07:15.000 Yeah, and it's like a raw technical element and that's it.

03:07:19.000 So what really matters is where you're coming from, from that well perspective, you know?

03:07:24.000 Maybe, but the other thing is that I feel like certain people are just drawn to certain type of activities, certain disciplines, certain things.

03:07:36.000 And when they resist that, there's huge issues with humans.

03:07:41.000 Totally.

03:07:41.000 That's exactly what we were talking about earlier.

03:07:44.000 And it's like a huge loss of confidence for people.

03:07:47.000 Creative suppression.

03:07:48.000 You feel bad.

03:07:49.000 It's bad.

03:07:50.000 You feel like...

03:07:51.000 It's almost like there's a just grand puzzle going on.

03:07:55.000 And you're just kind of going towards what's pulling you.

03:08:00.000 And is it healthy that it's pulling you in this direction?

03:08:03.000 Examine it.

03:08:04.000 Figure it out.

03:08:04.000 Figure out what it is.

03:08:05.000 And if you resist it, because you go, well, it's not a sure thing.

03:08:08.000 Or it's not...

03:08:09.000 How do you feel about conformity, then, in that respect?

03:08:12.000 Like, you being Joe, you know, and then you're in certain social settings or whatever, do you, you know, are you malleable?

03:08:21.000 Can you change into a way that, like, you're like, yeah, I'm with this crowd, or...

03:08:26.000 Oh, I can talk to anybody.

03:08:28.000 I can sit in a room full of born-again Christians and have a friendly conversation with them.

03:08:32.000 I probably couldn't have a decade ago.

03:08:35.000 But somewhere along the line, I've realized it doesn't matter if you're right or I'm right. 0.99

03:08:41.000 It's not a fucking game. 0.56

03:08:43.000 Okay, and so instead of quantifying it as a game, which is like a thing that guys love to do, we love to do it. 0.98

03:08:51.000 We want to be right.

03:08:52.000 I think just people love to do it.

03:08:53.000 People love to do it, but guys specifically.

03:08:55.000 God, that makes me feel better. 0.97

03:08:57.000 Guys like to fucking win arguments, you know? 0.99

03:09:00.000 It's a barbarian thing. 1.00

03:09:02.000 It's some fucking weird, you know, pub sword fight shit left over from the fucking dark ages. 0.99

03:09:10.000 I don't know if it's a gender-specific thing. 0.99

03:09:14.000 I think sometimes you just want to connect with people.

03:09:16.000 It's not so much about dudes or ladies.

03:09:19.000 I used to feel really guilty about being able to conform so easily because I love everybody.

03:09:25.000 I can hang out all the time and then I was like, did I just exploit myself or exploit parts of myself to fit in here?

03:09:34.000 You know what I mean?

03:09:35.000 But at the same time, I think it's okay to just have accessible aspects of yourself to connect with people.

03:09:44.000 Yeah, I mean, absolutely.

03:09:46.000 I mean, are you going to occasionally run into the wrong people?

03:09:48.000 But I don't think that's like a male...

03:09:49.000 I think that's across the board.

03:09:52.000 Yeah, no, that's across the board.

03:09:53.000 I agree.

03:09:54.000 Especially the way you just said it.

03:09:56.000 I think, I don't know, being argumentative or like driving towards conflict.

03:10:04.000 Men are, women are, we all are, right?

03:10:06.000 It's not really gender dependent.

03:10:09.000 But I think there's an extra sort of dominator trait that a lot of men tend to have that want them to win arguments.

03:10:18.000 Look, I'm going to win this podcast.

03:10:19.000 Ha! 0.89

03:10:20.000 How do you win it?

03:10:21.000 I'm just saying.

03:10:23.000 I'm feeling like the dominant one.

03:10:25.000 Guys, guys.

03:10:26.000 I'm on top.

03:10:26.000 We'll allow that.

03:10:27.000 I feel like we're all winning this podcast.

03:10:29.000 I like the way you talk. 1.00

03:10:31.000 You're like a fucking politician. 1.00

03:10:33.000 God, you're such a peaceful lover. 1.00

03:10:35.000 I got a new name for you.

03:10:36.000 I got a new name for you.

03:10:37.000 This is what you just did.

03:10:38.000 It's Cheesus.

03:10:40.000 Cheesus.

03:10:41.000 In queso emergency.

03:10:43.000 In queso emergency.

03:10:45.000 You're the cheesy savior.

03:10:47.000 You're Cheesus.

03:10:48.000 Pray for Cheesus.

03:10:50.000 Do you know who told us that joke?

03:10:51.000 In queso emergency.

03:10:52.000 Ben's mother.

03:10:53.000 Swear to God.

03:10:54.000 Jesus?

03:10:54.000 Vivian Jaffe.

03:10:55.000 She told you the Jesus joke? 0.96

03:10:57.000 She told me...

03:10:58.000 Say it again.

03:10:59.000 I swear to God, I thought I was making that up.

03:11:01.000 No, Ben...

03:11:02.000 Have you guys heard that before?

03:11:03.000 Is there a Jesus joke?

03:11:04.000 The cheesy Jesus?

03:11:05.000 Yes!

03:11:05.000 Listen, Ben's going to tell you right now.

03:11:07.000 Ready?

03:11:07.000 This is the mom from Wisconsin?

03:11:08.000 This is the Jesus joke. 0.97

03:11:10.000 Oh.

03:11:10.000 In queso emergency, in queso emergency, pray for Jesus.

03:11:15.000 Oh my God.

03:11:17.000 Oh my God.

03:11:18.000 Come on! 0.61

03:11:20.000 I'm sorry, but that is an acceptable racial, not racist joke.

03:11:25.000 I feel like we should go out with that.

03:11:26.000 I don't feel like there was any anger involved in that joke. 1.00

03:11:29.000 I feel like it was all done in the spirit of love and the reality of the way some motherfuckers talk. 0.99

03:11:34.000 It's not bad. 0.99

03:11:36.000 The way they speak English is better than the way I would speak Spanish. 0.81

03:11:40.000 And my mom is half Ecuadorian.

03:11:43.000 Amazing fact.

03:11:44.000 We're even safer now, Joe.

03:11:47.000 Oh my god.

03:11:48.000 Did you guys think our friendship would go to the next level on this podcast?

03:11:53.000 It has, and I knew it.

03:11:55.000 I knew it would.

03:11:56.000 How dare you?

03:11:57.000 No, I wasn't doubting.

03:11:58.000 I was just like, wow. 0.75

03:12:00.000 This is the least musical and most silly of all the podcasts we've ever done.

03:12:06.000 Do you think our friends will still like us when we leave here?

03:12:08.000 It doesn't matter.

03:12:09.000 If they don't, it's on them.

03:12:11.000 You're right.

03:12:11.000 What did we do that's so horrible?

03:12:12.000 We had some fun.

03:12:13.000 What did we do?

03:12:14.000 We had a few good friends, had a bunch of laughs together.

03:12:18.000 What did we do?

03:12:18.000 We had a potential air raid.

03:12:20.000 Air raid?

03:12:21.000 I heard jets.

03:12:22.000 Apparently, I googled it.

03:12:24.000 There was a jet that invaded the airspace. 1.00

03:12:28.000 No shit! 0.99

03:12:29.000 I don't know. 1.00

03:12:29.000 Russia. 1.00

03:12:30.000 Or a plane.

03:12:30.000 Some sort of a plane.

03:12:32.000 That was 2013. Should I stop picking fights?

03:12:34.000 Yeah, it was just because Obama's in town.

03:12:37.000 Incorrect.

03:12:37.000 I just Googled it and looked at the first one.

03:12:40.000 I didn't even look at the date.

03:12:41.000 I was trying to participate in the conversation.

03:12:43.000 You don't think there's going to be smoldering...

03:12:45.000 2013, that's what happened.

03:12:47.000 Do you want to find out about the 2013 event, which I was accidentally referencing?

03:12:57.000 Joe, why do you have to do shows after this?

03:12:59.000 Because the ball keeps rolling.

03:13:05.000 You gotta keep rolling.

03:13:08.000 It's impossible not to.

03:13:10.000 If you don't snooze, you lose.

03:13:13.000 That's Brian.

03:13:14.000 DJ Redband. 0.99

03:13:16.000 Are you spinning some shit over there? 0.99

03:13:18.000 Well, sorry. 1.00

03:13:19.000 Oh my god.

03:13:22.000 HoneyHoneyBand.com Uh uh uh uh uh uh.

03:13:25.000 Is that where they should go?

03:13:27.000 Yes, sir.

03:13:28.000 Honeyhoneyband.com.

03:13:29.000 Also Twitter and Facebook.

03:13:31.000 Honeyhoney.com.

03:13:32.000 Twitter.

03:13:33.000 Facebook. 0.89

03:13:34.000 Was a porn site.

03:13:35.000 Used to be a porn site.

03:13:36.000 Oh my god.

03:13:37.000 A good porn site?

03:13:38.000 Boom. 0.96

03:13:39.000 Or like a beekeeper fetish?

03:13:41.000 I would call it...

03:13:42.000 Was it a beekeeper fetish?

03:13:44.000 Weird. 1.00

03:13:44.000 A lot of weird fucking... 1.00

03:13:45.000 Rudimentary level. 1.00

03:13:46.000 Fucking grabbing. 0.99

03:13:47.000 There were no bleached buttholes on that site. 1.00

03:13:49.000 They were using the fucking beekeepers out there to choke each other. 1.00

03:13:52.000 I have to stop. 1.00

03:13:53.000 What?

03:13:55.000 Autoerotic asphyxiation due to gee chokes on beekeepers' outfits? 1.00

03:14:00.000 My cheeks hurt.

03:14:01.000 Good collar choke on a beekeeper. 0.97

03:14:05.000 Is this still going?

03:14:07.000 The people are listening to this?

03:14:08.000 This podcast, we can end this right now.

03:14:10.000 Honey Honey Band on Twitter, Honey Honey Band on Instagram, and of course Facebook. 1.00

03:14:17.000 You guys are the shit. 1.00

03:14:19.000 This was fun. 0.99

03:14:19.000 Thank you so much. 0.99

03:14:20.000 I enjoyed this.

03:14:21.000 This was a lot of fun.

03:14:22.000 This was really fun.

03:14:23.000 You guys are always, as always, awesome.

03:14:25.000 Brian Redman, ladies and gentlemen, deskwad.tv. 0.99

03:14:28.000 Go there, buy some t-shirts, support the deskwad empire, and that's it, you fucks. 1.00

03:14:35.000 Next weekend, I will be in Philadelphia, and I will be in Washington, D.C. Philadelphia on the... 0.99

03:14:45.000 17th, I'll be at the Tower Theater and then the Warner Theater in Washington, D.C. Dirty, dirty, dirty freaks. 0.98

03:14:53.000 So, uh, I'll see you guys soon. 0.98

03:14:55.000 And, uh, we have a lot more podcasts this week, ladies and gentlemen.

03:14:58.000 Keith Weber!

03:14:59.000 Anthony Cumia!

03:15:01.000 It's gonna get crazy.

03:15:02.000 So, we'll see you soon.

03:15:03.000 Much love.

03:15:03.000 Big kiss.

03:15:20.000 Thank you, boo.

The Joe Rogan Experience - October 10, 2014

Joe Rogan Experience #558 - Honey Honey

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript