The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #560 - Anthony Cumia

00:00:02.000 Hello, freaks. 1.00

00:00:03.000 This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Onnit.

00:00:06.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. Onnit is a human optimization website.

00:00:10.000 What we sell is all things that we have found that benefit you physically and mentally, like strength and conditioning equipment, healthy supplements and foods.

00:00:20.000 I was camping in Alaska for a week earlier. 0.99

00:00:23.000 Hunting deer on Prince of Wales Island and I ate about a thousand of these fucking warrior bars. 0.99

00:00:29.000 I lived off these things. 0.99

00:00:31.000 Buffalo meat with cranberries and pepper.

00:00:33.000 No antibiotics.

00:00:34.000 No added hormones.

00:00:35.000 Gluten free.

00:00:36.000 No nitrates added. 1.00

00:00:38.000 All this shit's healthy. 1.00

00:00:39.000 No MSG. And it gives you 14 grams of protein and only 4 grams of fat in a 2 ounce serving with 140 calories. 0.99

00:00:50.000 Super healthy and natural.

00:00:53.000 It's one of the things that we sell at Onnit.com as well as things along the lines of strength and conditioning equipment like kettlebells and battle ropes and steel clubs and maces and the guy that was just here, Keith Weber, the Extreme Kettlebell Cardio Workout Series.

00:01:08.000 Excellent workout resources.

00:01:10.000 We also have the Onnit Academy that's filled with inspiration and all sorts of informative articles and videos about strength and conditioning and fitness and how it applies to things like martial arts and athletics and various pursuits.

00:01:24.000 If you go to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, and use the code word ROGAN, you will save 10% off any and all supplements.

00:01:34.000 Rejoice, ladies and gentlemen, because Anthony Cumia has flown in the great metal tube from New York, and he's here.

00:01:43.000 Please, finally.

00:01:43.000 Cue the music.

00:01:59.000 What an intro.

00:02:00.000 That's nice, man. 0.92

00:02:01.000 Dude, when you started doing your show in your basement while you were doing the Opie and Anthony show, and you set up a pro studio with a fucking green screen and real professional camera broadcast quality cameras, I was like, we need to fucking do something like that.

00:02:18.000 And that's when Brian and I started out with the Ustream show, directly influenced by not just you doing your show in Long Island, but also the style of show that you guys did on Opie and Anthony.

00:02:31.000 Yeah, which was just pretty much a hangout, you know, talking like real people talk, not professional broadcasters.

00:02:37.000 Hey, so you're in town, you're telling those wacky jokes.

00:02:40.000 What are you talking about lately?

00:02:42.000 That's what I wanted to do with Live from the Compound especially, is make it look as professional as possible, and then have people watch and go, why is this guy like, did he hijack a news set? 0.94

00:02:52.000 Because he's drinking, he's talking about, he's cursing, he's talking about shit that shouldn't be discussed. 0.62

00:02:58.000 And that's kind of why I wanted it to look so good. 0.99

00:03:01.000 I wanted it to look very professional, but be done very unprofessionally.

00:03:06.000 Well, it's unprofessional, but it is professional.

00:03:09.000 Yes, exactly.

00:03:09.000 But not in the sense of what we see every day on the news and that phoniness that you just see every day with those people that don't act like real people.

00:03:18.000 If something happens, a mistake or a blooper or someone yells fuck in the background of somebody doing a live shot, the anchor loses his mind like he just saw a murder. 0.95

00:03:27.000 They freak out. 0.96

00:03:29.000 So I just wanted to bring that look, that professional slick look, To me, who is just sitting there, like I said, drinking, probably hungover.

00:03:38.000 I made the show at 4pm Eastern Time just so I could sleep late.

00:03:43.000 I didn't even think, like, let me research and see what the best time to do a live show.

00:03:48.000 It's like, I could be up by 4pm.

00:03:50.000 So that was pretty much the criteria for that.

00:03:53.000 So it really is being able to do my own thing, which I hadn't been able to do for many years.

00:03:59.000 Well, when you were doing it also while you were doing ONA... Much to management's chagrin.

00:04:04.000 Yeah, they were telling you not to do it, right?

00:04:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:04:07.000 They wanted exclusivity.

00:04:09.000 And I was like, this is completely different from what I'm doing on the O&A show.

00:04:14.000 It's video-based.

00:04:16.000 It's me alone in my house.

00:04:18.000 I'm not bouncing off of Opie and Jim.

00:04:21.000 I rarely have guests.

00:04:23.000 Well, the new show is a lot different than Live from the Compound, because I do have guests.

00:04:28.000 But back then, they were getting on me about exclusivity, and it's like, it's a completely different thing, and it's in my house! 0.99

00:04:34.000 I bought this shit! 1.00

00:04:35.000 Let me just have fun! 1.00

00:04:36.000 It's like a toy!

00:04:37.000 You had no agenda.

00:04:37.000 Well, that's all you were doing.

00:04:39.000 You were just having fun.

00:04:40.000 That was it.

00:04:41.000 I had no schedule, no anything.

00:04:42.000 I would just pop on whenever I wanted to.

00:04:45.000 I had people over the house singing karaoke.

00:04:47.000 With machine guns.

00:04:48.000 With machine guns.

00:04:49.000 Crazy gun guy karaoke and just anything.

00:04:49.000 That was...

00:04:53.000 But that is the freedom of being able to do whatever you want like that.

00:04:57.000 It's amazing.

00:05:00.000 When you're able to do stuff like that, you realize how tied up you were when you worked for the man.

00:05:07.000 Yeah.

00:05:08.000 Do you ever see yourself going back to serious and doing something like that again?

00:05:12.000 Are you too free now?

00:05:13.000 It's, you know...

00:05:15.000 Once you let the dog out of the house, man, it's very hard to keep him in.

00:05:20.000 And I'm loving this.

00:05:22.000 It's so much freedom.

00:05:24.000 It's a lot of fun.

00:05:26.000 I'll be honest, the gig at Sirius was great.

00:05:29.000 It was four hours a day.

00:05:31.000 I made a boatload of money and sat there and joked around with the likes of Jim Norton and Opie and comics would just come through and it was fantastic.

00:05:40.000 It was a lot of fun.

00:05:43.000 But then there were those little instances where management would come in and fuck the whole fun up. 0.95

00:05:48.000 Just fuck it up. 0.89

00:05:49.000 And now to have the ability to just do anything, talk about anything, not have to go through all the logistical red tape bullshit with management. 0.99

00:05:57.000 Keith the Cop is my executive producer here.

00:06:01.000 He's never executive produced anything but probably bruises on perp's heads when he was a cop.

00:06:06.000 But...

00:06:07.000 With three emails, we set up a poker tournament over in Connecticut there.

00:06:14.000 Where is it?

00:06:14.000 Foxwoods or Mohegan?

00:06:15.000 Mohegan.

00:06:16.000 You always get them confused.

00:06:18.000 In no time.

00:06:19.000 And we had been trying to do this with SiriusXM for years.

00:06:22.000 Just let us get a poker tournament together.

00:06:25.000 Nothing.

00:06:26.000 Oh, this, that, we got to sell this.

00:06:28.000 This one, got to talk to that one.

00:06:30.000 And now it's just like, Keith, let's do a poker tournament.

00:06:33.000 Okay, I'll call the guy.

00:06:34.000 And boom, we're done.

00:06:35.000 We're set up.

00:06:36.000 I always feel like satellite radio is the bridge from terrestrial radio to the internet.

00:06:42.000 Very good. 0.98

00:06:42.000 That it's this bridge that allows people to see, oh, this is what it's like if you allow guys to come on and just swear and say whatever the fuck they want and talk the way they... 0.98

00:06:50.000 Like, what you guys did on ONA is you would talk the way you would talk if you were just hanging out. 0.66

00:06:56.000 Right.

00:06:57.000 And there was no other radio show that was doing that.

00:06:59.000 Every other radio show you would go on, the guy who was the host had a very clear agenda.

00:07:03.000 He was pushing the conversation.

00:07:05.000 You were being interviewed.

00:07:07.000 They would ask you probing questions, try to keep you on your heels, try to manipulate the conversation the way it went.

00:07:13.000 On ONA, you would ask questions if you were curious, and then we would all just hang out and talk.

00:07:18.000 Yeah, it was just more like friends hanging out.

00:07:20.000 And that's what, you know, especially with just a room full of guys, that's what we do.

00:07:26.000 We hang out.

00:07:27.000 We goof on each other. 1.00

00:07:29.000 We hope to get a great line in that makes the other guy look like an asshole. 1.00

00:07:33.000 And the person you're goofing on is laughing more than the people that are goofing on him. 0.99

00:07:37.000 That's what friends do.

00:07:39.000 That's how guys hang out.

00:07:40.000 And to have a show like that is a very rare thing.

00:07:43.000 And I think you're absolutely right about that bridge to the internet.

00:07:48.000 When I was on terrestrial radio early in my career, you looked at satellite radio like, what?

00:07:54.000 Who's listening to that?

00:07:55.000 Nobody.

00:07:56.000 It's the graveyard for radio.

00:08:00.000 And then we ended up there when we died in radio, the Sex for Sam thing.

00:08:06.000 And then went over to satellite, and it built.

00:08:08.000 You could feel it, like it was getting momentum.

00:08:10.000 People wanted this.

00:08:12.000 They wanted to hear people speak openly, honestly, and in real language.

00:08:16.000 But then that, again, got fucked by management and people that they're beholden to, that we couldn't speak about anything anymore.

00:08:29.000 Like, I like the idea of speaking about anything. 0.96

00:08:32.000 Anything.

00:08:32.000 And everything.

00:08:33.000 I think it's detrimental to not...

00:08:36.000 Be able to talk and to have people that want to shut other people up based on their ideology or Anything that they're saying.

00:08:44.000 If you want to take someone off the air or shut them up or fire them from their job, I think that's copping out and saying, look, I can't logically argue or intelligently argue, so I just want them quiet.

00:08:58.000 I want them silenced.

00:08:59.000 And don't they know that by hamstringing you, they fuck up their product and they open up the door to the internet? 0.89

00:09:04.000 Yeah.

00:09:05.000 Like, the internet's right there.

00:09:06.000 It's the wolf at the door.

00:09:07.000 It's right there.

00:09:09.000 It was just a matter of the technology catching up to the talent base out there.

00:09:16.000 When you're on regular radio, you're heard by anybody in their car that could just flip on the radio.

00:09:21.000 Satellite, you needed a subscription.

00:09:23.000 You needed the cars to have the radio in it.

00:09:26.000 And in time, that did build up.

00:09:27.000 And there are many satellite listeners.

00:09:30.000 The Internet had that problem with technology in that, you know, You had the product, you just couldn't get it out to everybody in every location that they were in.

00:09:38.000 But now cars are Wi-Fi enabled and people have their phones and they could download podcasts and web shows and play them in their car as they're going to work just like they would radio.

00:09:49.000 So yeah, it's right there.

00:09:51.000 They don't see the danger to their business and yet they keep making the same mistakes to push people away.

00:09:58.000 They're hamstringing themselves.

00:10:00.000 And they're doing it because they want to save sponsors or they don't want people to protest or they want to save...

00:10:00.000 It's amazing.

00:10:06.000 They're a publicly traded company so they have to worry about all that stupid shit. 1.00

00:10:10.000 It's this phony ethical vision that they want to have. 1.00

00:10:14.000 They think that people are looking at them in a certain way and they won't respect them if they don't react to...

00:10:25.000 People like me.

00:10:26.000 And there was really no outcry to have me booted from SiriusXM.

00:10:31.000 No one said anything.

00:10:33.000 They just went, well, we've got to get rid of them.

00:10:35.000 We have the preemptive strike.

00:10:35.000 He's saying racial things.

00:10:37.000 It's also a weird thing, being on a network, like a SiriusXM type thing, where you have all these channels that are like music and Christian radio, and it's like you're selling so much shit, and on top of that, 0.97

00:10:53.000 you've got something like O&A. Which should really be its own individual entity, because it's so uniquely different from the rest of the things you're having.

00:11:00.000 You would think. 0.91

00:11:01.000 Like, if you're fucking going, like, let's see what's on SiriusXM, and you click in right when Jimmy Norton's doing Uncle Paul trying to defend the Seventh Heaven guy, did you fucking hear him yesterday? 0.99

00:11:11.000 Oh my god. 0.99

00:11:11.000 That was hilarious. 0.99

00:11:13.000 Uncle Paul is Jimmy Norton's child molester character that he occasionally breaks out.

00:11:19.000 He's like, first of all, the guy wasn't doing nothing wrong.

00:11:22.000 It's an acting thing.

00:11:24.000 He was practicing for acting. 1.00

00:11:26.000 And he was doing something about having the kid lick the water off the tip of his dick like a gerbil. 1.00

00:11:34.000 You know how the gerbil has that thing? 1.00

00:11:36.000 And then he makes the sounds.

00:11:37.000 It was so awful. 0.99

00:11:38.000 And Opie was cringing and Norton was fucking... 1.00

00:11:41.000 His Uncle Paul was in full bloom yesterday. 1.00

00:11:45.000 It's despicable and hilarious.

00:11:48.000 Yeah, and if you were flipping through the channels, you had no idea.

00:11:51.000 And you just land, let's see what's on channel 103. Yeah, what is that?

00:11:55.000 How the fuck can you just get to that? 0.98

00:11:58.000 What are they thinking in the first place? 0.99

00:12:00.000 You guys should be a specifically different...

00:12:03.000 You should have been on the internet two or three years ago.

00:12:07.000 Exactly.

00:12:08.000 That's a prime example for context, by the way.

00:12:12.000 Everyone is held to this standard now of the same...

00:12:17.000 Our language on Sirius XM Satellite Radio, what we used to say on the ONA show...

00:12:24.000 Was held in the same light as what an anchor man would say on the evening news.

00:12:30.000 Like, years ago you didn't see Walter Cronkite being held to the same standard as George Carlin, and vice versa.

00:12:36.000 Like, you knew the context of who was saying what.

00:12:40.000 Now, no matter what you say, in what context, it's just held to this generic standard of that's awful.

00:12:46.000 So you get somebody like Jimmy doing Uncle Paul, it's looked at like as if Tom Brokaw got on and started just saying that.

00:12:54.000 That's outrageous.

00:12:55.000 We've lost the ability to distinguish the differences in context nowadays.

00:13:00.000 And that's what's really fucking everything up, I think.

00:13:04.000 It's absolutely lost also when you take it out, you extract it, and you put it in quotes and put it on a blog.

00:13:11.000 It's going to look different than it was said.

00:13:12.000 It's going to look awful.

00:13:14.000 It looks terrible.

00:13:15.000 But a show like ONA, what it is is a haven for, like, fun. 1.00

00:13:20.000 It's like one of the few remaining havens where you can tune in and you can hear awful, ridiculous shit, and you can hear Jimmy defending a pedophile. 1.00

00:13:29.000 Yes. 1.00

00:13:30.000 And look, I have daughters, man, and I have little kids, and I thought it was fucking hilarious. 0.94

00:13:35.000 And I'm laughing because I know what it is. 0.95

00:13:35.000 It's hilarious. 0.95

00:13:37.000 He's being naughty.

00:13:38.000 He's being fun.

00:13:40.000 Right.

00:13:40.000 I think people don't want to know anything about context anymore because they don't want to believe that people can hang out in a room like that, talk about stuff like that in a funny way and laugh about it.

00:13:51.000 They don't want to think that people like that exist.

00:13:54.000 And they don't want you to.

00:13:59.000 We're good to go.

00:14:17.000 Yeah, like the idea that if you stop Jimmy from making fun using the Uncle Paul character, you're somehow or another going to stop child molesting.

00:14:24.000 Yeah, you're going to stop that seven heaven guy. 1.00

00:14:26.000 No, he was full bore, balls out for fucking kids. 1.00

00:14:31.000 Jesus. 1.00

00:14:31.000 He even wrote books about it. 1.00

00:14:33.000 He wrote books about it?

00:14:34.000 He wrote two books that supposedly what started the whole thing is one of his victims read both of his books, and one of his books is about sleeping with a babysitter, or it had something to do with a younger kid.

00:14:46.000 It was a sitting baby, actually.

00:14:48.000 What?

00:14:50.000 Yeah, the babysitter is hot. 0.97

00:14:52.000 You know, you get a 19-year-old babysitter.

00:14:55.000 Who didn't have fantasies about that?

00:14:57.000 Yeah, that's a genre.

00:15:00.000 Isn't it?

00:15:01.000 It certainly is. 1.00

00:15:02.000 But he's a fucking real pig, this guy. 1.00

00:15:05.000 A real piece of shit. 1.00

00:15:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:15:06.000 Unbelievable. 1.00

00:15:07.000 He's one of those guys, too, that you never really would have thought it.

00:15:11.000 No way!

00:15:11.000 You watch that Seventh Heaven show, and oh boy.

00:15:14.000 It's fascinating, too, that he admitted to it all in therapy with his wife.

00:15:18.000 Who does that?

00:15:19.000 A guy who really wants a divorce bad.

00:15:22.000 You know, you just do this, we'll get you out of the marriage, but you gotta kinda do this confession thing, your wife is demanding it.

00:15:30.000 And then it's like, uh, was this recorded?

00:15:30.000 Yeah.

00:15:34.000 Well, she apparently recorded it without his knowledge, right?

00:15:37.000 Is that what happened?

00:15:37.000 No, I think what happened is that one of the victims contacted the wife.

00:15:42.000 The wife then tried to figure out what was going on, and they signed all these papers about the whole thing.

00:15:50.000 Deposition?

00:15:51.000 Is that what it's called?

00:15:53.000 And then they recorded it with him knowing.

00:15:55.000 I think it was like...

00:15:56.000 I don't think he knew that it was being recorded.

00:15:58.000 I think his wife recorded it because that was part of the premise was that it's legal for her to record it because he was involved in committing what they consider a violent crime.

00:16:06.000 But that's what also I feel is weird.

00:16:09.000 The use of the term violence.

00:16:11.000 It's obviously a heinous crime. 1.00

00:16:13.000 He took a little kid's hand and put it on his dick. 1.00

00:16:16.000 That's a crime. 1.00

00:16:16.000 But how's that violent? 1.00

00:16:18.000 Like, what made it...

00:16:20.000 Isn't violent...

00:16:21.000 Is there an alternate definition of violence that it can be mental, or does it have to be a physical assault on you?

00:16:29.000 I don't know.

00:16:29.000 Here's what's interesting, because the word assault, that's another one that's getting thrown around a lot in really weird ways.

00:16:35.000 Like, sexual assault.

00:16:37.000 Like, one of the things that's coming up now, like, California just passed this new law called Yes Means Yes, where you have to get actual verbal consent from someone before you have sex with them. 0.99

00:16:46.000 Can we just get back to fucking... 0.95

00:16:48.000 No, because the thing that they're trying to push, and this is a feminine agenda in 2014, is that if you have sex with someone who's been drinking, it's sexual assault. 1.00

00:16:58.000 They want to say that... 0.73

00:17:00.000 Well, a guy got kicked out of Occidental College because him and a girl had sex. 0.72

00:17:04.000 We had Thaddeus Russell on as a professor there. 0.98

00:17:06.000 And he was going, it drives him fucking crazy, but a guy and a girl, young, 18-year-old freshman, they both were drunk, they both were texting each other back and forth.

00:17:16.000 The guy was like, get over here. 0.96

00:17:16.000 Of course they were. 0.96

00:17:18.000 The girl's like, do you have a condom? 1.00

00:17:19.000 She said, do you have a condom?

00:17:20.000 He said, yes.

00:17:21.000 She said, I'm on my way. 0.89

00:17:22.000 She texted her friend, I'm going to go have sex now, went to the guy's house drunk, had sex with them, they were both drunk, and he got accused of sexual assault, and he got kicked out of the college. 0.78

00:17:31.000 Jesus Christ.

00:17:31.000 Despite all the evidence, despite the text messages, she didn't get kicked out, she didn't get expelled.

00:17:36.000 He did, because he's the one with the penis. 1.00

00:17:36.000 Uh-huh. 1.00

00:17:38.000 Because it's sexual assault because she's been drunk. 0.74

00:17:41.000 And it does seem like if she was with it enough to say, hey, you got a condom, and text her friend, that she knew what was going on.

00:17:47.000 Well, it's also absolving someone of responsibility because they're drunk in only a sexual context.

00:17:52.000 You don't do it driving. 0.99

00:17:54.000 She went out with a baseball bat and just started fucking braining people. 1.00

00:17:54.000 You don't do it. 1.00

00:17:57.000 And was like, look, I'm not responsible.

00:17:59.000 I was drunk.

00:18:00.000 Right, right.

00:18:01.000 Yeah, why is it in that case she's not responsible for it?

00:18:05.000 Well, it's because feminists are pushing this. 1.00

00:18:07.000 They're trying to demasculate men. 0.76

00:18:10.000 They're trying to take away masculine behavior. 1.00

00:18:12.000 And masculine behavior is seeking sex. 0.68

00:18:15.000 That's one thing. 0.65

00:18:16.000 So they're trying to say that seeking sex while the woman's intoxicated, even if the man is intoxicated as well, that the man is being sexually assault, sexually aggressive, and is committing sexually assault. 0.62

00:18:28.000 That is spectacular. 0.91

00:18:30.000 Committing sexual assault because you're drunk.

00:18:32.000 How is it assault?

00:18:34.000 Yeah, how is it assault, by the way?

00:18:35.000 It's sex.

00:18:37.000 I don't know.

00:18:38.000 Yeah, if it was...

00:18:39.000 I don't even know.

00:18:41.000 It's so confusing now. 0.99

00:18:43.000 What happened to drunk fucking? 1.00

00:18:44.000 Everyone drunk fucks. 1.00

00:18:46.000 It's excellent. 0.99

00:18:46.000 You've got to have a little bit at least to loosen up, first of all. 0.99

00:18:49.000 It's fun.

00:18:50.000 Get those inhibitions to kind of slither away.

00:18:53.000 Yeah.

00:18:54.000 Now you're having fun.

00:18:55.000 But this idea is that those inhibitions are there for a reason, Anthony, and that sex is bad. 1.00

00:19:00.000 Well, so are the male fucking I-want-to-fuck instincts. 1.00

00:19:04.000 Those have been there for fucking... 1.00

00:19:06.000 since we've been on the earth. 0.99

00:19:08.000 How are those denied now?

00:19:09.000 I love when people try to deny the fact that we still have so many animalistic tendencies... 0.97

00:19:17.000 They get covered up by a suit or the ability to use an iPhone and shit like that. 1.00

00:19:21.000 But the fact is, guys love to fuck. 1.00

00:19:24.000 And they will do things that sometimes aren't the most honest things to get laid. 0.99

00:19:31.000 And this is just the way it is, and there's no changing that.

00:19:34.000 It's just the way it is.

00:19:36.000 That's another thing that they're trying to push, is the ability to withdraw consent after the fact if you feel you were tricked.

00:19:42.000 So you can say yes, have sex with someone, and he's like, guess what, I didn't love you! 0.98

00:19:48.000 And he leaves, and that's rape. 0.99

00:19:51.000 And now it becomes rape. 0.99

00:19:52.000 It becomes rape. 0.95

00:19:53.000 After the fact rape. 1.00

00:19:54.000 Ex post facto. 0.82

00:19:56.000 New rape is what I like to call it. 1.00

00:19:57.000 New rape. 1.00

00:19:59.000 New definitions.

00:20:00.000 It's astounding what's going on in this society.

00:20:04.000 Have we always been just on the precipice of society failing?

00:20:10.000 Or is it worse now? 0.99

00:20:13.000 Because you hear shit from years ago and it's like, that sounds pretty familiar. 1.00

00:20:17.000 I think we were always fucked. 1.00

00:20:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:20:20.000 But we're here, and now, so we see it as the most important fuck that we're getting. 1.00

00:20:26.000 You know, Grandpa's fucking was probably just as bad. 1.00

00:20:29.000 Yeah, everybody's always been fucked, and everybody's always been thinking that society's failing. 0.99

00:20:33.000 Like, I was listening to this Hunter S. Thompson documentary recently, and he was talking about the state of America in 1970-whatever, and it was all falling apart. 0.98

00:20:41.000 And I was like, huh, here we are, 40 years later, it's okay.

00:20:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:20:45.000 Yeah, we're always on the brink of just complete disaster.

00:20:49.000 And I think people like to think that we are.

00:20:52.000 I honestly feel that just based on your own mortality, I think people like to think that they're going to be the last of it.

00:21:00.000 You know, like, if I'm dead, I don't want this carrying on without me.

00:21:03.000 So if there's a cataclysmic event, then everyone goes.

00:21:08.000 And I could be happy by, you know, I'm checking out too.

00:21:11.000 That's like part of the zombie apocalypse fantasy too, right?

00:21:14.000 Yes, exactly.

00:21:15.000 We all want to be part of that.

00:21:16.000 Yeah, Mad Max style.

00:21:17.000 It's all over. 0.99

00:21:18.000 The second you drop dead, someone's alarm goes off and they go to work the next day and the fucking earth spins round and round. 0.99

00:21:24.000 But everyone wants to think like, we're on the brink. 0.99

00:21:27.000 Oh, society, America's gone.

00:21:29.000 Just look at it now compared to years ago.

00:21:31.000 And it's like, no. 0.99

00:21:32.000 No, I think 200 years from now, someone's going to be going, ah, fucking crazy. 0.90

00:21:37.000 And we should still have flying cars by now, right? 0.93

00:21:40.000 You don't want to be the guy that's on his deathbed watching CNN, and they're like, utopia has been achieved.

00:21:45.000 Long life is forever. 1.00

00:21:48.000 Everyone's dick will now grow six inches. 1.00

00:21:50.000 We're all billionaires. 1.00

00:21:52.000 Congratulations.

00:21:53.000 3D printers have come up. 0.99

00:21:53.000 What the fuck happened? 0.99

00:21:55.000 You can make your own house, whatever shape you want. 0.99

00:21:57.000 Material is free.

00:21:58.000 Everything's free.

00:21:58.000 Right.

00:21:59.000 The internet has made everything free.

00:22:01.000 You just download the specs to whatever device you want and now objects, materialism means nothing now because you can have whatever you want whenever you want it. 0.97

00:22:08.000 And there you are fucking checking out. 1.00

00:22:10.000 And you're rotten. 1.00

00:22:11.000 Your fucking liver spots on your hands are blowing up. 1.00

00:22:14.000 Shit! 1.00

00:22:15.000 I missed the boat! 0.99

00:22:16.000 What happened?

00:22:17.000 I missed the boat!

00:22:19.000 But there's also like 40 years in the context of Hunter S. Thompson in 1974 compared to where we are today is nothing if you go back to like Rome.

00:22:28.000 Like if you went back to ancient Rome and any 40 year period they were like ah this will always be here.

00:22:33.000 No.

00:22:34.000 I know and that's what people bring up also.

00:22:36.000 They always bring up that Roman Empire, you know?

00:22:38.000 It's like, well, that fell, and that was a pretty strong and long-lasting, and everyone, yeah, I see it happening, though, now.

00:22:45.000 But that's just the thing.

00:22:47.000 When they bring it up, they think that now is the fall part of the American Empire.

00:22:52.000 Well, they see Rome, like, when Rome fell, remember when we were kids, we'd hear about it, it was always, like, the excess, the vomitoriums.

00:22:59.000 Right, the orgies.

00:23:01.000 You know a vomitorium is just, like, a way to get out of the arena?

00:23:05.000 Like, a vomitorium is not a place where they would go and vomit.

00:23:08.000 Yeah, it was a pathway that the entire crowd would go out of the arena.

00:23:08.000 Really?

00:23:12.000 It had nothing to do with vomit.

00:23:13.000 Because it's like, it's spelling the people, it's kind of, oh, that makes sense.

00:23:18.000 Yeah.

00:23:18.000 But it sounded funny as a kid to just say, like, vomitorium.

00:23:22.000 Yeah, well, that's what we used to think, that it was like some place where they would all get together and fucking throw up and then have orgies and shit. 0.99

00:23:28.000 It was just that whole concept of, yeah, binging and just eating everything. 0.99

00:23:34.000 That's a vomitorium.

00:23:36.000 Oh, there you go.

00:23:37.000 That looks fine.

00:23:38.000 It's just a passage.

00:23:39.000 That doesn't look bad.

00:23:40.000 It's a passage situated below or behind a tier of seats in an amphitheater or stadium to which big crowds can exit rapidly at the end of a performance.

00:23:40.000 Yeah.

00:23:47.000 So when the lion kills the dude, and then everybody wants to get the fuck out of there before it leaps in the stand and starts fucking up the Romans, it would go through the vomitorium. 0.99

00:23:56.000 Right after you hear, are you not entertained? 1.00

00:24:00.000 Well, they would, you know, we would always hear about the vomitorians where they get was bullshit, but then we'd also hear about the Christians versus the lions, all the crazy shit they would do, and have people fight to the death in front of everyone, and the fucking thumbs down if you wanted them dead. 0.99

00:24:14.000 But that was society falling apart, and you compare it to today with our fucking drones and war and the UFC and all this chaos and fear factor. 0.99

00:24:14.000 Thumbs down, thumbs up, yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:24:23.000 I'm a part of a lot of things that are- We really are.

00:24:25.000 The downfall of America.

00:24:27.000 Of society in general.

00:24:29.000 But that's what we would think of, like, oh, this is a sure sign. 0.98

00:24:32.000 It's fucking over. 0.98

00:24:34.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:24:35.000 That's how people think, because they want it to be over, in a weird way, because of your own mortality.

00:24:41.000 If people lived forever, you would never want it to be over.

00:24:44.000 It's like, this is great!

00:24:45.000 They'll change it into something else cool, baby, over time, but I don't want it to be over.

00:24:49.000 But since you are a mortal being, and you have a lifespan, you just want to be like, yeah, no, I go, everyone goes!

00:24:58.000 Everyone!

00:24:59.000 Yeah, it's like the ultimate, like, flip the board game over if you can't win.

00:25:03.000 Yes!

00:25:04.000 I'm dying! 1.00

00:25:07.000 Yeah, like someone with terminal cancer that fucking takes a machine gun and heads it to the mall. 1.00

00:25:11.000 Just open it up. 0.99

00:25:11.000 Right, right. 0.99

00:25:13.000 And that's another thing.

00:25:14.000 People have these ideas of what they would do in certain situations. 0.99

00:25:19.000 Well, no, if I found out I had cancer and stuff, I'd fucking get a gun. 1.00

00:25:23.000 I'd head over to Syria and start shooting ISIS people. 1.00

00:25:26.000 No, you'd be in the hospital with no hair, on chemo, fucking... 1.00

00:25:31.000 Getting pity from your family. 0.99

00:25:33.000 Everyone has this idea, this notion about themselves that are very rarely accurate.

00:25:40.000 Yeah, it's all based on books and movies.

00:25:42.000 It's all based on romantic depictions of what you would do in those scenarios because it makes for a fun read.

00:25:48.000 Right, yeah, yeah.

00:25:49.000 And honestly, we're very rarely that.

00:25:54.000 Well, I think there's a beautiful thing about being influenced by movies and books and songs in that they provide us with entertainment and inspiration, but they also really distort the shit out of realistic scenarios.

00:26:07.000 But I think you're supposed to be able to distinguish between that.

00:26:11.000 Art is one thing and reality is another.

00:26:14.000 Art, I think, is based on reality.

00:26:16.000 But it influences reality so much.

00:26:19.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:26:20.000 Especially with women. 0.91

00:26:22.000 How many women have these, especially young women, that have these distorted perceptions of Channing Tatum movies? 1.00

00:26:28.000 Channing Tatum, that's how men behave, and this is reality.

00:26:31.000 It's going to happen to me.

00:26:32.000 I'm just going to find my prince.

00:26:34.000 Yeah, it's just not the way.

00:26:37.000 Just a bunch of dudes who want to come in you. 0.99

00:26:38.000 And so it really is out there.

00:26:40.000 They're just lying.

00:26:42.000 And both sides.

00:26:43.000 The aggressive male side and the men who are pretending they're not like all the other men because they want to come in you too.

00:26:48.000 And that's the only way they can go about getting in there.

00:26:50.000 Is being unique?

00:26:51.000 Yeah.

00:26:52.000 Or just being like on your side. 1.00

00:26:54.000 Men are shit. 1.00

00:26:55.000 Right, right. 1.00

00:26:56.000 I'm horrified to be a man. 1.00

00:26:58.000 Men are shit. 1.00

00:26:59.000 I'm different. 1.00

00:27:00.000 You see that on Twitter in its most archaic form, which is the White Knight. 0.99

00:27:06.000 I fucking love the White Knight. 0.97

00:27:09.000 I don't think I really verbally go, ugh, when reading anything else but White Knights on Twitter. 0.99

00:27:17.000 When you bash somebody who's a girl, and you call her out on something, and then some guy swoops in, don't take that, you're beautiful, you're a beautiful person, and this, and... 1.00

00:27:31.000 First of all, you just want to fuck her. 1.00

00:27:33.000 You want to do the same thing the guy that's fucking bashing her wants to do. 1.00

00:27:37.000 He's just taking a different angle. 0.98

00:27:40.000 And you swoop in, and what is their mindset?

00:27:43.000 Oh, DM me.

00:27:45.000 You're a good man.

00:27:47.000 They just want love.

00:27:49.000 Love.

00:27:50.000 They just want love.

00:27:51.000 It's not going to get their way.

00:27:53.000 They just want love.

00:27:53.000 It just doesn't happen.

00:27:54.000 I've given up on the concept of love.

00:27:57.000 I honestly don't think it really exists.

00:28:00.000 And this is something a lot of people have called me on.

00:28:02.000 I think love is a cross between lust and an obsession.

00:28:10.000 Not really obsession.

00:28:12.000 I think maybe a fascination kind of a...

00:28:17.000 Just this quick thing that happens.

00:28:19.000 It doesn't last long.

00:28:21.000 It could last maybe a few years.

00:28:23.000 It could last quite a few years.

00:28:24.000 But it's still the same thing.

00:28:26.000 It's lust and this fascination with the person.

00:28:31.000 And that conjures up this mixture that seems like something that's love.

00:28:36.000 In the perfect scenario, you don't think that people can be in love?

00:28:39.000 No.

00:28:40.000 I honestly don't see...

00:28:44.000 Two people.

00:28:45.000 I think honest love would be like, you just never argue.

00:28:51.000 You agree with everything.

00:28:53.000 There's never a snooty, snippy moment.

00:28:55.000 So it just doesn't exist.

00:28:57.000 And in time, it transfers into something more a habit-like.

00:29:03.000 A habitual thing.

00:29:04.000 The lust turns into habit.

00:29:07.000 And the fascination turns into comfort zone.

00:29:10.000 And then you're just together.

00:29:12.000 And you continue to be together.

00:29:14.000 And you don't even know about love anymore.

00:29:17.000 You're not coming home every day.

00:29:19.000 You're not at the office going... 1.00

00:29:20.000 Fuck, I want to be with her. 1.00

00:29:22.000 God. 1.00

00:29:22.000 When you first get together, you're like, I can't even work. 1.00

00:29:25.000 I love this girl.

00:29:26.000 I want to be with her. 0.99

00:29:27.000 I want to fucking smell her hair and kiss her and hug her. 1.00

00:29:30.000 And then you've got to leave. 1.00

00:29:31.000 You're going to the store for ten minutes.

00:29:33.000 Sweetie, oh, I love you.

00:29:35.000 I wish I had enough to go.

00:29:36.000 Come with me.

00:29:37.000 Come to the store. 0.99

00:29:38.000 It's just fucking crazy. 0.99

00:29:40.000 Twenty years of marriage and you're still doing that? 1.00

00:29:43.000 Bullshit. 1.00

00:29:44.000 And you still love the person? 1.00

00:29:46.000 No.

00:29:47.000 You're now in a habitual relationship.

00:29:53.000 I honestly believe this. 0.99

00:29:54.000 He is fucking pissed all over everybody's parade. 0.99

00:29:58.000 There's a bunch of people at work right now listening to this going like this. 0.99

00:30:02.000 Hmm.

00:30:03.000 Am I in love? 1.00

00:30:03.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:30:04.000 Well, you definitely don't get the newness. 1.00

00:30:07.000 But you can still have a great relationship.

00:30:09.000 What is that?

00:30:10.000 It's not love?

00:30:11.000 But the falling in love part is the newness.

00:30:14.000 Well, you know what the newness is? 1.00

00:30:16.000 The newness is a hormonal rush to make babies, and you're supposed to fuck during that time. 1.00

00:30:20.000 Again, biological, yes. 0.99

00:30:21.000 Yeah, that's why relationships, most relationships peter out around three months in.

00:30:26.000 That's when the woman hits her first trimester. 1.00

00:30:28.000 She's already supposed to be pregnant, and you're supposed to be out of there. 1.00

00:30:31.000 Right.

00:30:31.000 And banging a new one.

00:30:32.000 Because people were getting eaten by jaguars on a daily basis, and you had to fuck as many people as you possibly could in order to ensure that the species survived. 0.99

00:30:32.000 Why? 0.99

00:30:40.000 Right.

00:30:41.000 The problem is our high mortality rate, when human beings were in their infancy, our high mortality rate led to very specific types of behaviors that are ingrained in our genetics.

00:30:53.000 And those specific types of behaviors are frowned upon by feminists now. 1.00

00:30:57.000 The very thing that got us to 2014, they're trying to curb back.

00:31:02.000 This deceptive behavior in order to try to get laid.

00:31:06.000 Any type of sex other than the sex that they feel comfortable with.

00:31:10.000 I'm happy that this happened. 1.00

00:31:11.000 If the man's happy, yeah, fuck you on your left. 1.00

00:31:14.000 Pig! 1.00

00:31:15.000 Rape! 1.00

00:31:16.000 It's anything that's not along the lines of their ideal is rape. 0.99

00:31:23.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:31:24.000 And like you said, it's just biological for the preservation of humanity early on.

00:31:31.000 That's how we needed to act.

00:31:33.000 Here's where it gets more fascinating. 0.99

00:31:34.000 The women who are trying to tighten this down as much as possible, no one wants to fuck. 1.00

00:31:41.000 At the very top of the fucking machine, the very top of the machine is run by troll ladies. 1.00

00:31:51.000 Troll ladies. 1.00

00:31:52.000 They're troll ladies. 0.99

00:31:53.000 They're not really sexy, attractive objects of desire. 0.56

00:31:58.000 I think when they speak about how can a man dictate what happens to our bodies kind of a thing, it's the same thing as how can you dictate what happens to a pretty girl.

00:32:09.000 Yeah.

00:32:10.000 Like, you're not a pretty girl, so you don't understand what it's like to be that and to be able to, you know, manipulate men in such a fashion.

00:32:18.000 So she should probably, the troll ladies, should probably steer clear of what they think attractive men and women should do. 1.00

00:32:25.000 And what I find amazing... 0.76

00:32:27.000 The social justice warrior people, one of the things that they love is when transgender people go way overboard and become very overtly feminine. 1.00

00:32:39.000 Like high heels and a lot of makeup. 0.85

00:32:42.000 You go, girl.

00:32:43.000 But if a woman does that, if a woman does that, she's playing into the gender stereotypes. 1.00

00:32:49.000 That is brilliant.

00:32:50.000 Yes! 0.97

00:32:51.000 There's so many hypocrisies like that. 0.81

00:32:53.000 Oh, that's a big one.

00:32:54.000 But that is a giant one.

00:32:56.000 Yeah.

00:32:56.000 Yeah, that's great.

00:32:57.000 Woo, look at you!

00:32:59.000 You go, girl.

00:33:00.000 She, excuse me, it's beautiful. 1.00

00:33:01.000 Did you say he, you fucking asshole? 1.00

00:33:03.000 I'm trying to be gender neutral. 1.00

00:33:05.000 You better not be.

00:33:06.000 You know, I don't want people to be gender binary. 1.00

00:33:09.000 I like queer, because queer is whatever.

00:33:09.000 Yeah.

00:33:12.000 It's everything.

00:33:13.000 Be everything.

00:33:14.000 It's all queer. 1.00

00:33:15.000 Well, I like when I see an application for something, and it says gender, and it says male, female, both, neither. 0.94

00:33:23.000 Those are good.

00:33:24.000 Neither?

00:33:24.000 That would be nice.

00:33:25.000 Neither.

00:33:25.000 Really?

00:33:26.000 I mean...

00:33:27.000 It should just say chromosome.

00:33:29.000 Can we get it down?

00:33:30.000 An X and a Y. What is it?

00:33:31.000 Do you have a Y in there?

00:33:32.000 Okay, you're a dude.

00:33:33.000 No, I'm not a dude!

00:33:33.000 Next.

00:33:34.000 I'm a fucking woman, you piece of shit! 1.00

00:33:36.000 I bet you we can tell. 1.00

00:33:39.000 Not anymore.

00:33:40.000 They're pretty good at it. 1.00

00:33:41.000 They're fucking... 1.00

00:33:41.000 I don't know if they're good at it. 1.00

00:33:43.000 There are.

00:33:43.000 I'm not sure.

00:33:45.000 I don't know.

00:33:46.000 I definitely don't know.

00:33:47.000 But, I mean, have you seen a photo?

00:33:50.000 Of a really good one?

00:33:51.000 Of a really good operation.

00:33:52.000 It's in the wrong spot, though, right?

00:33:54.000 It's in the wrong spot. 1.00

00:33:56.000 Well, when you look, the vaginal canal is a little more upward, and when you have to turn a penis inside out to make a vagina, you see where the penis comes from. 0.99

00:34:07.000 Actually, the transsexual vagina is exactly where you thought it was before you saw a girl naked. 1.00

00:34:16.000 LAUGHTER That's true, right? 0.99

00:34:20.000 Yeah, because I remember the first few times you're trying to get down a girl's pants and you're like, I am so far below the belly button now, where is it?

00:34:30.000 This is like, gotta be here.

00:34:32.000 Oh, what a great adventure that was.

00:34:33.000 I remember my friend Pauly Hudson. 0.97

00:34:35.000 He was the first one to tell me that you had sex. 0.99

00:34:38.000 You went up inside a girl. 0.99

00:34:40.000 I was like, what?

00:34:41.000 I thought you just went straight.

00:34:43.000 Straight in.

00:34:44.000 Yeah, that's what I thought.

00:34:45.000 I was like, you go up?

00:34:46.000 He goes, you never even had sex.

00:34:48.000 I was like, yeah. 1.00

00:34:49.000 You're fucking 12, dude. 0.99

00:34:51.000 I don't know what happens. 1.00

00:34:52.000 You think back at some of the misconceptions you had in your youth about sex, and it really is hilarious. 0.99

00:34:58.000 I was under the impression that you needed what was called at the time a scumbag, which was a condom, a rubber. 0.98

00:35:04.000 They used to call that a condom? 0.99

00:35:05.000 Yeah, that's where a scumbag comes from. 1.00

00:35:08.000 Yeah, a condom was a scumbag back in the old days. 1.00

00:35:12.000 Wow. 0.99

00:35:12.000 And this was when I was a kid, so I never used that term, but I heard my parents say that, my dad's friends. 0.99

00:35:18.000 You know, yeah, I didn't have a scumbag last night, so I fucking shit like that. 0.99

00:35:23.000 I know, it's hilarious. 1.00

00:35:24.000 So I thought you needed one to get a girl pregnant. 1.00

00:35:27.000 I thought the shit that was on it got the girl pregnant. 1.00

00:35:31.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:35:31.000 What? 1.00

00:35:33.000 And I thought you had a fucker in the ass. 1.00

00:35:37.000 Like, I didn't know that there was a vagina. 1.00

00:35:38.000 I just thought, you know, there was an ass. 1.00

00:35:41.000 So you fuck her in the ass with a condom and she has a kid. 1.00

00:35:44.000 Wow. 1.00

00:35:46.000 Holy shit, were you off. 1.00

00:35:48.000 But the fucked up thing is, now I fuck girls don't want to have a kid, so I don't wear a condom and I fuck them in the pussy. 1.00

00:35:53.000 So it did have some kind of an influence on my future... 1.00

00:35:59.000 When I was in high school, and I don't remember where I learned this or if it was taught in class, but I specifically remember something where it was like a real source where they were saying that in order for a woman to get pregnant, that she has to have an orgasm.

00:36:12.000 Because when a woman has an orgasm, it opens up the canal and the eggs get through. 1.00

00:36:17.000 I remember this being some just ridiculously ignorant shit that I was taught. 1.00

00:36:21.000 Yeah, that is. 0.99

00:36:22.000 I would think maybe because of the moisture, you know, it gives a little more...

00:36:28.000 Fluid for the sperm cells to swim up.

00:36:30.000 It was like a door was opening.

00:36:32.000 They were explaining it like a door was opening. 1.00

00:36:35.000 This is like 1980s healthcare shit. 0.99

00:36:37.000 I don't know if they didn't know back then. 1.00

00:36:39.000 It was an older, even textbook where they were just ridiculous. 0.75

00:36:43.000 That sounds like something you'd tell a girl so you could come in there. 1.00

00:36:47.000 Look, I won't give you an orgasm. 1.00

00:36:49.000 You'll be fine. 0.99

00:36:50.000 As long as I don't make you cum, we're not making any babies. 1.00

00:36:53.000 And then after I cum, I'll make you cum. 1.00

00:36:55.000 Pfff! 1.00

00:37:00.000 Yeah, there's nothing better than that. 1.00

00:37:03.000 Well, as long as you do that, and you're a rapist. 0.99

00:37:07.000 Because then the woman can say, I'm withdrawing consent because he tricked me. 0.97

00:37:10.000 He said I was going to get to come after the fact.

00:37:12.000 Now I want to put him in jail.

00:37:13.000 You can't withdraw consent.

00:37:16.000 That's something that can't be done.

00:37:19.000 You consented, and it happened.

00:37:21.000 Nope.

00:37:22.000 Not anymore.

00:37:23.000 The rules have changed.

00:37:24.000 The rules have changed.

00:37:25.000 Male feminists have stepped in. 1.00

00:37:26.000 They're supporting this as well. 1.00

00:37:27.000 It's fucking dangerous. 1.00

00:37:28.000 Very dangerous. 0.99

00:37:30.000 It's dangerous because people are actually...

00:37:32.000 It's affecting people's lives.

00:37:34.000 Like this kid that got expelled from Occidental College.

00:37:34.000 They're going to jail.

00:37:37.000 Meanwhile, the girl didn't. 0.71

00:37:38.000 I mean, that's sexist.

00:37:40.000 That is absolutely sexist.

00:37:40.000 That is sexist.

00:37:41.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:37:42.000 It's confusing.

00:37:43.000 I saw the best white knight tweet once.

00:37:45.000 A guy said, I'm going to stop calling myself a feminist because it's up to women to decide whether or not I do feminism correctly. 1.00

00:37:54.000 He tweeted it.

00:37:55.000 He tweeted it.

00:37:56.000 Wow.

00:37:57.000 I'm putting it all out there, girls. 1.00

00:37:59.000 Somebody should just come over his head and beat him to death with a brick. 1.00

00:37:59.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:38:03.000 Just kick in his front door and just smash him. 1.00

00:38:06.000 You're fucking up everything with your nonsense. 1.00

00:38:09.000 You're stretching the curve out way past the boundaries of reality. 1.00

00:38:13.000 You are out. 1.00

00:38:14.000 You fringe fuck. 1.00

00:38:15.000 You fucking weirdo. 1.00

00:38:16.000 Do you think with that first blow to his head, he'd know exactly why you were there? 1.00

00:38:20.000 Yes. 1.00

00:38:21.000 He'd be like, fuck my tweets. 1.00

00:38:24.000 I was just trying to make the block, man! 1.00

00:38:26.000 You didn't have to say a word.

00:38:28.000 He'd just raise that block and go, no, I'm trying to get laid! 0.54

00:38:31.000 He'd know. 1.00

00:38:33.000 Because he can't possibly have said anything more stupid than that. 1.00

00:38:38.000 What's with these people? 1.00

00:38:39.000 I read it over and over and over again.

00:38:41.000 Just like this.

00:38:42.000 No!

00:38:43.000 It would be a great, ironic website if you were joking around.

00:38:48.000 If you were a guy that was pretending to be a male feminist, you were saying these really preposterous things like that.

00:38:53.000 Dude, you see my website? 0.98

00:38:54.000 It's fucking hilarious. 0.98

00:38:54.000 Check it out. 0.98

00:38:55.000 Just subtle enough. 1.00

00:38:56.000 You sound like a faggot! 1.00

00:38:58.000 Kirsten's genius, then. 1.00

00:38:59.000 Just subtle enough to troll your way into it.

00:39:02.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:39:03.000 It really is amazing how easily people are bamboozled online.

00:39:09.000 And we didn't know this.

00:39:10.000 We didn't have a good bead on the masses before the internet.

00:39:16.000 We knew our friends, but they were pretty much like us because that's how they become your friends.

00:39:21.000 We didn't really know just anonymous people.

00:39:24.000 We knew movie stars and TV stars and our friends.

00:39:29.000 And that was pretty much it. 1.00

00:39:31.000 Strangers you'd see in the store, you might look and go, what an asshole. 1.00

00:39:34.000 And you'd never realize how many assholes are out there until you got to see. 1.00

00:39:40.000 Everyone now has a voice and their pictures, their families, how they live their lives, what they believe in, what they like, what they hate. 0.99

00:39:47.000 And it really does open everybody up to see this world of...

00:39:54.000 Weirdos and strange people.

00:39:56.000 But then we're weird to them.

00:39:58.000 You know, I understand that part. 1.00

00:40:00.000 We're not these perfect beings looking going, look at this asshole, Joe. 1.00

00:40:03.000 Check this idiot out. 1.00

00:40:05.000 Everyone's weird. 1.00

00:40:05.000 Yeah, but to be able to see now what a lot of other people are thinking and how they believe things and how they get tricked so easily, how they believe false news and blogs that just... 1.00

00:40:21.000 Like, they'll read a blog and believe it.

00:40:23.000 Or The Onion.

00:40:24.000 An article from The Onion, which is hysterical.

00:40:27.000 It's a parody site.

00:40:28.000 And I have gotten links.

00:40:30.000 Anthony, check this out!

00:40:32.000 I know you'll be talking about this!

00:40:35.000 It's a joke! 0.99

00:40:37.000 It's worse than The Onion because there's new ones that aren't even funny, that just make shit up. 0.99

00:40:42.000 That makes shit up. 0.99

00:40:43.000 You go to the website, it'll say it's a parody site. 0.99

00:40:45.000 And there's a bunch of them.

00:40:46.000 They're not even remotely funny. 1.00

00:40:48.000 They're just bullshit. 1.00

00:40:49.000 They're just bullshit. 1.00

00:40:50.000 My fucking sister calls me up and says, did you kill a mountain lion with a belt? 1.00

00:40:54.000 I heard that one. 1.00

00:40:55.000 That was great.

00:40:56.000 You should have actually said you did.

00:40:58.000 That's pretty manly right there. 1.00

00:40:59.000 Imagine a fucking mountain lion. 1.00

00:41:00.000 I couldn't even kill a cat with a belt. 1.00

00:41:03.000 Try to get a fucking house cat. 1.00

00:41:04.000 Your cat Beavis, you have a big cat. 1.00

00:41:07.000 You have a serval, right?

00:41:08.000 It's a bengal.

00:41:09.000 A bengal? 0.96

00:41:10.000 Like a serval?

00:41:11.000 Yeah, they're a little smaller than a serval. 1.00

00:41:13.000 Servals are fucking nuts. 1.00

00:41:15.000 You can't even really have one in a house. 1.00

00:41:17.000 They rip it apart.

00:41:18.000 Really?

00:41:18.000 The people that own servals, they have those houses that you go into and you're like, oh yeah, okay, you really don't care about anything.

00:41:24.000 I understand.

00:41:25.000 You live in the mountains somewhere and stuff, and that's cool.

00:41:28.000 But no, it's a Bengal.

00:41:29.000 It's like, I think three generations removed from an Asian leopard and a tabby mix. 0.99

00:41:36.000 And then they breed them with tabbies, tabby, tabby, and then you get this leopard-spotted cool fucking cat. 0.97

00:41:43.000 What does he do, like, around your house? 1.00

00:41:45.000 He's a maniac. 1.00

00:41:47.000 He's fucking, like, really intense and just, like, I'll come down the stairs and I'll be pretty tired, pajama pants on and shit, and he'll fly out of the dining room and, with all of his weight, throw the side of his body against your calf. 1.00

00:42:05.000 And then grab your leg. 1.00

00:42:07.000 Like he's trying to throw you off balance and then grabs you and sinks his teeth into your fucking leg. 1.00

00:42:12.000 So he's trying to take you down. 1.00

00:42:13.000 Yes!

00:42:14.000 He's constantly trying to take people down in the house.

00:42:17.000 There's a video of him, I guess.

00:42:19.000 Yeah, there's a little Beeb.

00:42:20.000 I guess he's outside there.

00:42:22.000 I let him out.

00:42:22.000 Christmas tree.

00:42:23.000 Oh, he's in the Christmas tree.

00:42:24.000 This is when he was a kitten.

00:42:26.000 When you let him out, what does he do?

00:42:28.000 He goes crazy. 0.99

00:42:29.000 He gets this low slink walk, and he's constantly looking around and shit. 1.00

00:42:35.000 It looks like a little wild animal. 1.00

00:42:37.000 It's cool as fuck. 1.00

00:42:38.000 Does he have balls? 1.00

00:42:39.000 No, I had to cut those fuckers right off. 1.00

00:42:42.000 I've read that it's just insane. 1.00

00:42:44.000 They'll just start fucking pissing it and just fuck everything and cum on shit. 1.00

00:42:51.000 He likes when girls have no shoes and socks on, bare feet, walking around the house, and he'll just attack. 1.00

00:42:59.000 And girls are hilarious because they just scream and run, and you run away from a cat. 1.00

00:43:05.000 They fucking love that! 0.95

00:43:06.000 And they're chasing him, and I'll just laugh, and girls running around the house getting... 1.00

00:43:11.000 How much does he weigh?

00:43:12.000 Like, full-grown?

00:43:13.000 Now?

00:43:14.000 Oh, God, I don't even know. 0.99

00:43:15.000 What the fuck would you say he weighs? 0.99

00:43:16.000 No. 1.00

00:43:18.000 What about 16 pounds? 1.00

00:43:19.000 That was a big fucking cat. 1.00

00:43:20.000 Yeah, yeah, he's pretty fucking big. 0.99

00:43:22.000 He's pretty cool, though, as far as a people cat goes. 0.99

00:43:25.000 You come up to anybody that comes to the door and lets you pet him and shit like that. 0.75

00:43:29.000 He fetches, honestly fetches, not even like, you know, oh, he'll sniff it or bring it somewhere. 0.99

00:43:34.000 He brings the thing right back to you, sits there and waits again for you to fucking throw it. 0.98

00:43:39.000 Brings it back. 0.99

00:43:40.000 I used to have a regular cat that did that.

00:43:42.000 It's pretty cool when a cat acts like that.

00:43:44.000 Oh, that's when he was a little guy.

00:43:47.000 He was trying to get my glasses off.

00:43:49.000 Oh, he's so cute.

00:43:51.000 And when I saw this video, I'm like, I will put this online and it will get a fuckload of hits.

00:43:55.000 And it did.

00:43:57.000 He's so adorable.

00:43:58.000 You can't beat a kitten taking your glasses off.

00:44:02.000 Have you thought about getting him a friend?

00:44:05.000 Well, I have a friend who has another Bengal named Freddy. 1.00

00:44:11.000 And she brings Freddy over the house and they brawl and shit. 1.00

00:44:16.000 Do they have fun or do they age? 0.99

00:44:18.000 They love fighting.

00:44:21.000 I have said, if you ever come to New York and come over the house, I would love for you to call one of their fights and I love that.

00:44:31.000 I just come downstairs.

00:44:32.000 I had this thing where I come downstairs because I hear you calling a fight.

00:44:36.000 And I come down and the cats are fighting on the floor and you're calling it.

00:44:40.000 And I just go, Joe, it's my house.

00:44:43.000 What are you doing?

00:44:43.000 It's my cats.

00:44:45.000 That would be awesome.

00:44:46.000 Because they brawl. 0.99

00:44:47.000 It's so fucking cool. 0.94

00:44:48.000 Yeah, there you go. 0.98

00:44:49.000 That's his little fetching.

00:44:51.000 A little fetch maneuver. 1.00

00:44:53.000 And then he comes right back.

00:44:54.000 Oh, wow.

00:44:55.000 He comes right back. 1.00

00:44:57.000 Oh, he must be smart as shit, man. 0.99

00:44:59.000 Yeah, he's pretty cool. 1.00

00:45:01.000 And then he catches, too.

00:45:03.000 You're like, well, not that time.

00:45:05.000 Great.

00:45:06.000 But he's good. 1.00

00:45:07.000 Thanks, B, you fucker. 1.00

00:45:09.000 But that leopard spot pattern is really kind of... 1.00

00:45:12.000 That sold me on it.

00:45:14.000 What made you get him?

00:45:15.000 The leopard pattern.

00:45:16.000 Just the way it looked?

00:45:17.000 Yeah, I kind of...

00:45:19.000 I guess...

00:45:20.000 I guess being alone in a big house for that long, I needed something, since I don't believe in love.

00:45:28.000 So a cat, you dump some food in the little...

00:45:34.000 Oh, that was when...

00:45:35.000 See, you said he's smart. 0.99

00:45:36.000 Here he is with his head stuck in the trash can lid, and he thinks if he puts it back, he can fucking get back out of it. 0.99

00:45:44.000 So it is kind of smart. 0.98

00:45:46.000 That's Freddy, his little pal.

00:45:46.000 It is smart.

00:45:49.000 And then he...

00:45:53.000 He's frustrated.

00:45:55.000 Oh, he does not like that at all.

00:45:56.000 Did he figure out how to get it off or did you have to help him?

00:45:58.000 No, I took it off of him, the poor little guy. 0.97

00:46:00.000 I feel bad for him when he gets himself into dumb situations. 0.99

00:46:03.000 Or he'll jump up on the table that's been polished and shit and just fly right across it. 0.99

00:46:11.000 And without any of that cat grace that you've seen... 0.98

00:46:14.000 Hit the chair, fall down.

00:46:16.000 He's bouncing off of things like a pinball machine.

00:46:19.000 It's really funny, though, to watch.

00:46:21.000 I'm a lonely cat guy in my house, Joe.

00:46:25.000 That's where it's come to.

00:46:26.000 A lonely cat guy in Long Island.

00:46:27.000 That's pretty much it. 0.97

00:46:28.000 You know, I occasionally have some bitches over, though. 1.00

00:46:31.000 You know, you gotta... 0.97

00:46:35.000 With this whole I don't believe in love thing, I've had to convey to girls that do come over the house that I am not a boyfriend.

00:46:44.000 I'm not your boyfriend or anything.

00:46:47.000 How do you do that?

00:46:48.000 You tell them, I'm not your boyfriend.

00:46:48.000 It's a hard thing.

00:46:51.000 I went through so many years, Joe, of being with girls much longer than I should have.

00:46:58.000 A couple weeks?

00:47:00.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:47:01.000 No, I was one of those fucking years guys. 1.00

00:47:04.000 Like, I stayed in a marriage that I hated for nine fucking years. 1.00

00:47:08.000 Nine years. 0.99

00:47:09.000 And I think radio was part of it because I had gotten into radio halfway through the marriage.

00:47:13.000 So the second half, I didn't even pay attention to it. 0.99

00:47:16.000 It was all about fucking radio. 0.99

00:47:18.000 I'm in radio. 1.00

00:47:18.000 This is great. 1.00

00:47:19.000 I'm going to build this and concentrate on that.

00:47:21.000 So whatever burden she was, was outweighed by the pleasure of doing radio.

00:47:27.000 But after nine years, that was it.

00:47:29.000 But I jumped right from that into another relationship that just lasted years.

00:47:34.000 And then after that one, I started thinking, like, maybe I shouldn't tell these girls that I feel for them so much.

00:47:43.000 And now I just say, look, understand what this is.

00:47:43.000 You know?

00:47:47.000 We are not boyfriend and girlfriend.

00:47:50.000 I am not in a relationship with you.

00:47:53.000 And it almost works.

00:47:56.000 I have to fine-tune it.

00:47:59.000 I'm almost there, though.

00:48:01.000 It's a tough sell.

00:48:02.000 Sometimes I don't get the message.

00:48:03.000 And I start getting things.

00:48:05.000 But then when I start getting texts, I'd be like, these are girlfriend texts.

00:48:10.000 We're not in a relationship.

00:48:11.000 Do you say that to them?

00:48:12.000 Yes!

00:48:12.000 I go, this is a girlfriend text.

00:48:14.000 What's an example of a girlfriend text?

00:48:16.000 A girlfriend text.

00:48:18.000 You said I could do this, and then at the last minute you told me that I can't do it with you.

00:48:24.000 I can't go here or do this or something.

00:48:26.000 I'm like, I changed my mind, or I have something else, or I made other plans.

00:48:30.000 It happens.

00:48:31.000 It fell through. 1.00

00:48:33.000 Oh, well, you're treating me like shit. 1.00

00:48:35.000 Hey! 1.00

00:48:35.000 This is... 1.00

00:48:36.000 No!

00:48:37.000 That's a girlfriend. 1.00

00:48:38.000 That isn't a friend.

00:48:39.000 If I call my friend Joe Curry, let's say, and I say, Joe, this weekend I'm having a party at the house.

00:48:45.000 He'll be like, okay.

00:48:45.000 Come on over.

00:48:46.000 And then on Friday afternoon, I call him and say, Joe, no party.

00:48:52.000 It's just not happening.

00:48:53.000 I'm doing something else.

00:48:54.000 All right, cool. 1.00

00:48:57.000 That's like that only if I could fuck Joe Curry. 1.00

00:49:00.000 See, the girls... 1.00

00:49:02.000 You're trying to make that.

00:49:04.000 You're trying to...

00:49:04.000 I'm trying to make it so they understand that they are one of my friends that are girls, that if we want to have sex and stuff, that's great, it's cool and everything, but we can't have this relationship.

00:49:19.000 Where you live here and where we are obligated to go out for certain occasions because you're my top bitch or something or whatever it is. 1.00

00:49:29.000 What about them fucking other guys? 1.00

00:49:31.000 Yeah, that doesn't happen. 0.99

00:49:32.000 No, no. 1.00

00:49:35.000 No, what are you, an asshole? 1.00

00:49:37.000 Yeah, who is this guy? 1.00

00:49:39.000 No, they could.

00:49:40.000 I don't want to hear about it just like I don't want to have to tell them about it.

00:49:43.000 Oh, I've heard this one.

00:49:45.000 Like, oh, who are you going out with tonight?

00:49:47.000 This is none of your business. 1.00

00:49:49.000 It's none of your fucking business. 1.00

00:49:50.000 Oh, is it this girl? 1.00

00:49:52.000 Is it that one?

00:49:53.000 Like, I'm not telling you.

00:49:54.000 Why would I tell you?

00:49:55.000 Why wouldn't you?

00:49:56.000 Ah, God, I don't want to hear this.

00:49:57.000 I just don't want to hear it.

00:49:59.000 But that's, you know.

00:50:00.000 There's certain patterns in relationships that people automatically fall into and they think they're allowed to.

00:50:05.000 Yes.

00:50:06.000 These are allowed patterns.

00:50:08.000 Because it's become commonplace.

00:50:09.000 And that's what I... They've been used to their whole life and that's what this...

00:50:09.000 Yeah.

00:50:15.000 A groove that the guys have fallen into over the years where they know like, oh my god, you just realize at one point you go, uh-oh, I'm in a relationship.

00:50:24.000 I didn't even want to be in one!

00:50:26.000 We were dating or something or just hanging out.

00:50:29.000 Like, why does it always have to turn into a relationship?

00:50:32.000 And I've said to girls before, I've said, relationships are the death knell for a good relationship.

00:50:41.000 Companionship. 0.66

00:50:42.000 All of a sudden now there's obligations, responsibilities, accountabilities, all these things that come along with a relationship take away from the good parts of hanging out, which is we're watching TV, we're drinking, we're fucking, we're going out to dinner, we're not arguing about anything.

00:50:58.000 Is that my phone?

00:51:00.000 Oh, I hope not.

00:51:02.000 How did you manage to avoid...

00:51:05.000 That's your girlfriend. 1.00

00:51:06.000 It's his girlfriend.

00:51:06.000 No, don't worry about it.

00:51:07.000 Oh, it's my girlfriend.

00:51:08.000 She's pissed. 0.54

00:51:09.000 So you avoided children.

00:51:12.000 You got no children.

00:51:13.000 Yes.

00:51:14.000 That's a big one.

00:51:15.000 That is the biggest, because I almost had a kid with my wife, which would have just been... 0.63

00:51:22.000 I'd have had to kill myself, I think.

00:51:24.000 I would have had to do something to get out of it. 0.55

00:51:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:51:29.000 First, she got one of those ectopic pregnancies.

00:51:32.000 Which happens in the fallopian tube and blows up and she like started bleeding internally and boy if I had a future me came back at the moment I was driving her to the hospital I may have made a stop at McDonald's first. 0.89

00:51:45.000 Or you know I might have had to pick a few things up while she was in the passenger seat bleeding to death. 0.99

00:51:52.000 Oh my goodness.

00:51:53.000 Well, you say this because she basically... 1.00

00:51:56.000 I mean, how much money did she take over the years? 1.00

00:51:59.000 That was a bad divorce.

00:52:00.000 It's seven figures she took.

00:52:02.000 Over a long period of time, too, right?

00:52:04.000 Yeah, she got Dominic Barber for her lawyer.

00:52:07.000 You know, famed, bloated Howard Stern attorney, but Dominic Barber was her lawyer, and he was just...

00:52:20.000 Yeah.

00:52:20.000 Amazing.

00:52:34.000 I had to pay her legal bills and mine. 0.97

00:52:36.000 So she hires Dominic Barbera, and he's just this fucking way expensive attorney. 0.88

00:52:41.000 And I think, well, I gotta save some money, so let me hire a cheaper attorney. 0.94

00:52:45.000 Oh, that doesn't work, Joe. 0.98

00:52:48.000 That's ridiculous.

00:52:48.000 I had a guy that would come in with like a manila folder.

00:52:52.000 Into court.

00:52:53.000 And they had hand trucks of those big boxes of legal briefs and stuff on their side.

00:53:02.000 And I'm just like, oh, this is the worst thing ever.

00:53:06.000 And over the course of quite a few years, I had to keep paying her and paying her.

00:53:11.000 And I'm very happy with that.

00:53:11.000 And then it was over.

00:53:13.000 Do you ever communicate with her now?

00:53:15.000 Thank God.

00:53:15.000 No.

00:53:16.000 And if I had kids, I would have to.

00:53:16.000 And I don't have to.

00:53:18.000 I don't understand how that happens.

00:53:20.000 A lot of people say, well, no, you know, over the years we've built up a nice relationship.

00:53:25.000 I'm friends with my ex-wife.

00:53:26.000 It's like, no, you're not.

00:53:27.000 You had to develop something or you would have killed her or yourself or everyone involved.

00:53:33.000 You have a kid, so you have to kind of build some type of relationship with her.

00:53:39.000 I have a buddy who's friends with his ex-girlfriend and his ex-girlfriend is now married to another one of his friends and they have kids together and they get all their kids together and play.

00:53:48.000 That's weird.

00:53:49.000 That's just odd.

00:53:50.000 I don't think it ever goes away. 0.99

00:53:52.000 I don't think that, you fucked her, ever goes away. 0.99

00:53:55.000 No, probably not, right? 0.99

00:53:57.000 Well, the ex-boyfriend and the new husband, they do have a little weird thing with each other.

00:53:57.000 Probably not.

00:54:03.000 The new husband will occasionally criticize the ex-boyfriend in a little bit of an over-excessive way.

00:54:10.000 Wow. 1.00

00:54:11.000 Because he knows that for years he's slipping the dick to the missus. 1.00

00:54:17.000 He pretends to be cool with it, but... 1.00

00:54:19.000 Yeah, but we know.

00:54:20.000 There's a lot of weirdness to it all. 0.99

00:54:22.000 No shit. 0.99

00:54:23.000 There's a lot of weirdness. 0.99

00:54:24.000 Oh.

00:54:25.000 What?

00:54:26.000 Got a little note handed to you?

00:54:27.000 Oh, that's true.

00:54:28.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:54:28.000 Dominic Barbara, the lawyer for my wife.

00:54:31.000 He came to my house a couple of months ago.

00:54:35.000 For what?

00:54:36.000 Knocked on the door.

00:54:37.000 Came to the house.

00:54:38.000 Because he heard that I got fired from SiriusXM.

00:54:42.000 And he was like, I just got out of rehab.

00:54:45.000 Drugs and alcohol ruined my life.

00:54:47.000 I no longer have a law practice.

00:54:50.000 He got arrested for stealing from one of the stores at the Miracle Mile there on Long Island.

00:54:58.000 And he's just, he's destitute now.

00:55:00.000 He was living on his friend's couch.

00:55:02.000 He went from that attorney that was always on Howard's show and made millions of dollars, obviously made some off of me, and then he's just destitute now.

00:55:10.000 So I read the stories in the paper before I got fired and everything, and I've always laughed. 1.00

00:55:15.000 I thought, good, good for him, karma, motherfucker. 0.99

00:55:19.000 And if you crow about karma, isn't that bad, karmically? 1.00

00:55:23.000 I think so.

00:55:23.000 I think it is, too.

00:55:24.000 Whatever. 0.98

00:55:27.000 But he knocked on my door, and I'm looking out the window, and I'm like, I think that's fucking Dominic Barber. 0.98

00:55:33.000 And he comes in, and he was trying to preach to me. 0.95

00:55:35.000 He's saying, I read what happened, and I'm thinking maybe you need help or something.

00:55:41.000 Oh, he wants to be your sponsor? 1.00

00:55:42.000 It's like, fuck. 1.00

00:55:43.000 What the fuck is he talking about? 1.00

00:55:45.000 He probably, A, sees you as an opportunity to get back in the limelight, and B, feels bad that he stole your fucking money. 1.00

00:55:52.000 Maybe. 0.99

00:55:53.000 And he might have been doing one of those 12-step things where he's got to make some kind of reconciliation with me.

00:56:01.000 So he came over, he did that, but then at the end he's like, so you got the new show you're going to be starting up?

00:56:06.000 I'm like, yeah.

00:56:07.000 He goes, you know, I know this advertising thing where this, and then he's pitching some type of Advertising for the show.

00:56:14.000 Yeah.

00:56:15.000 So he left his number. 1.00

00:56:18.000 Bitch, you stole money from me, you fuck. 1.00

00:56:20.000 Get out of here. 1.00

00:56:20.000 Yes, and people were saying that. 1.00

00:56:21.000 They're like, why did you even let him in your house?

00:56:25.000 And they're saying, you should have shot him when he got in the house and said that he was trying to attack you. 1.00

00:56:30.000 He's crazy. 1.00

00:56:31.000 He was on drugs. 1.00

00:56:32.000 He stole money.

00:56:34.000 He's destitute. 1.00

00:56:35.000 Look at his fucking record, man. 1.00

00:56:37.000 And check this knife out that was by his hand here. 1.00

00:56:41.000 Yes, it matches my cutlery set, but...

00:56:44.000 That's a very popular item.

00:56:47.000 Yeah, so people are asking me that, and I don't know.

00:56:50.000 I can't really do that. 0.67

00:56:52.000 I'm not the get-the-fuck-out guy. 0.84

00:56:55.000 I'd rather just come in. 0.99

00:56:57.000 I had a fan come to my fucking house once, just knocked on the door. 0.99

00:57:00.000 And he's like, hey, Ant. 0.99

00:57:02.000 I'm like, hey.

00:57:04.000 He goes, yeah, I found out where you lived.

00:57:06.000 I just thought maybe I could hang out and have a beer.

00:57:09.000 And I'm looking going, all right.

00:57:11.000 I could do this two ways. 0.99

00:57:12.000 I could fucking tell him, get the fuck out of here, and he leaves pissed off, and I have no idea who he is. 0.99

00:57:19.000 Or I can have him come into the backyard, grab a beer, and interrogate him, pretty much. 0.99

00:57:26.000 And that's what...

00:57:27.000 Was done.

00:57:28.000 So he came in, had a beer.

00:57:30.000 We found out everything about him.

00:57:31.000 I gave all the info to Keith.

00:57:32.000 He ran him.

00:57:33.000 And, you know, figured he didn't have any problems.

00:57:36.000 He's a married guy with kids and lives out on Long Island.

00:57:40.000 Stony Brook, I think, somewhere.

00:57:42.000 Yeah.

00:57:42.000 How weird.

00:57:43.000 So there are two ways you could deal with that.

00:57:45.000 And I'd have been wondering, you know, who was that guy?

00:57:48.000 And now he's pissed.

00:57:50.000 Now he's a disgruntled fan.

00:57:52.000 You know, now I can pretty much tell him, hey, you had a beer at my house. 1.00

00:57:54.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:57:55.000 Leave me alone. 1.00

00:57:56.000 You know?

00:57:57.000 But then there's that stalkerish angle where I'm friends with him now.

00:58:00.000 I could just come over anytime.

00:58:02.000 Did he ever do it?

00:58:03.000 Did he ever come by again?

00:58:04.000 No, he didn't, but me and Keith saw him at the Mexican place we were eating at about a month ago, and he came up and was like, hey, how you doing? 0.99

00:58:12.000 I was like, hey, look who it is, the fucking crazy guy. 0.98

00:58:16.000 But he's married, he's got kids, a normal guy. 0.99

00:58:18.000 Yeah, he has a Facebook account, and I see his Facebook posts, his kid rides horses, and he's got a nice place, he holds a job.

00:58:27.000 Just a fan.

00:58:28.000 So it turned out he was just a fan, and you know what?

00:58:32.000 I really don't have any problem with certain fans.

00:58:35.000 A lot of the people that come over to my parties were formerly just fans of the show or people that were on the show.

00:58:41.000 Crazy fucking Big A and my buddy Dennis and all of my poker-playing friends.

00:58:47.000 They were pretty much fans of the show that, through one way or another, hanging out, I figured they were pretty cool and responsible and not going to shoot up or rob my house. 0.98

00:58:58.000 So they come over and... 0.98

00:59:01.000 Well, your house would be one of the worst places to rob anyway because you're armed to the teeth and your fucking house is strategically set up in case anybody breaks into this room. 1.00

00:59:11.000 You're pressing fucking buttons and secret doors are opening. 1.00

00:59:16.000 I got safe rooms and magnetically locked doors that are alarmed. 1.00

00:59:19.000 I'm not kidding.

00:59:20.000 Really?

00:59:21.000 You have magnetically locked doors?

00:59:23.000 Yeah, they just magnetically locked.

00:59:25.000 They got separate alarm systems on them, just separate from the house.

00:59:30.000 And, you know, that's like the gun storage. 1.00

00:59:32.000 Shit like that. 0.99

00:59:33.000 Because you don't want anybody getting into your guns. 1.00

00:59:35.000 How many guns do you have?

00:59:36.000 I'm not even sure.

00:59:37.000 It's probably almost 100, maybe.

00:59:40.000 We're around there.

00:59:41.000 That's a lot of guns.

00:59:42.000 A lot of rifles and stuff.

00:59:44.000 Yeah.

00:59:45.000 But in New York, it's getting very tough to own rifles that...

00:59:50.000 Anything but a lever action.

00:59:51.000 You go to a gun store in New York now, it looks like 1800s. 0.99

00:59:55.000 It's all lever action fucking... 1.00

00:59:57.000 The Rifleman! 1.00

00:59:58.000 Are they bolt actions?

00:59:59.000 Bolt actions, a lot of those, but AR-15s, you just can't find them anymore.

01:00:04.000 Semi-automatics, things like that.

01:00:07.000 And that's a whole other discussion about the effectiveness of banning certain weapons as opposed to banning...

01:00:14.000 Also, didn't they make it so that the magazine size was literally non-existent?

01:00:19.000 Like the legal magazine size for guns?

01:00:22.000 They made it seven rounds.

01:00:23.000 And magazines only come in 5, 10, 15, things like that.

01:00:29.000 So by saying seven rounds and then outlawing the ten round magazine.

01:00:34.000 It was very calculated.

01:00:35.000 They said, we only want you to load seven rounds in your clip, in your magazine.

01:00:40.000 So you go, okay, and we're banning ten round magazines.

01:00:44.000 So it's like, so what you're saying is I can only have five rounds, because that's the only magazine available to me that isn't over the seven-round limit.

01:00:53.000 And so they put the kibosh on that.

01:00:56.000 They figured that was excessive.

01:00:57.000 So now you're allowed to have the 10-round magazine and 10 rounds in it.

01:01:02.000 You are allowed?

01:01:03.000 Yes, they changed it.

01:01:04.000 Oh, so they fought against it.

01:01:05.000 They changed it.

01:01:06.000 Who changed it?

01:01:07.000 It was appealed.

01:01:08.000 The Supreme Court of New York overthrew that.

01:01:12.000 And they're constantly, all of the New York chapters of the NRA and New York Rifle Associations are constantly battling legislation.

01:01:24.000 Supposedly gun control legislation, gun safety.

01:01:27.000 They always call it good stuff.

01:01:29.000 The Safety Act.

01:01:31.000 It's never taking away.

01:01:33.000 Laws never are anti-gun law or take away gun laws.

01:01:38.000 It's a safety law.

01:01:40.000 It's for your pleasure.

01:01:42.000 It's everything.

01:01:43.000 Everything that is given to us by the government, thank you, government, which is supposed to be the people, everything that's given to us is presented in a Look what we're giving you.

01:01:54.000 The Marriage Protection Act, you know, you want to protect marriage. 0.97

01:01:59.000 It's not the fuck the gays law and gays can't get married law. 0.98

01:02:04.000 We're protecting something here. 0.98

01:02:06.000 And that's how it's presented.

01:02:08.000 Because they know that people are going to call them out on being anti-gay.

01:02:13.000 So they're going, no, we're not anti-gay.

01:02:15.000 We're just pro-marriage.

01:02:17.000 It's the same thing with everything the government tries to present to you.

01:02:21.000 It's convenient.

01:02:22.000 It's nice.

01:02:23.000 It's safety.

01:02:24.000 The Patriot Act.

01:02:25.000 How about the Patriot Act?

01:02:26.000 The Patriot Act is another one.

01:02:28.000 If I don't agree with this, I'm not a patriot.

01:02:30.000 It's the Patriot Act.

01:02:31.000 You're anti-Patriot, isn't it?

01:02:33.000 I mean, the hacky thing, obviously, is to bring up 1984 and the way language was used.

01:02:41.000 In that book, and it's so real.

01:02:44.000 It's crazier now.

01:02:45.000 It's all semantics.

01:02:46.000 It's crazier than 1984. Yeah, it is.

01:02:50.000 And I wonder what it's going to be like 50 years from now.

01:02:52.000 I really do.

01:02:53.000 I think the end of the world's coming next week.

01:02:53.000 I don't know.

01:02:55.000 Any day now.

01:02:56.000 You can just see it.

01:02:56.000 Any day.

01:02:57.000 The downfall of society.

01:02:58.000 Please, please, I hope so.

01:02:59.000 I hope so.

01:02:59.000 Like the Ebola thing.

01:03:00.000 Everyone loves talking about Ebola.

01:03:02.000 I'm scared of Ebola.

01:03:03.000 You're not scared of Ebola?

01:03:05.000 I'm scared of the fact that something like that exists.

01:03:08.000 I'm not scared that there's going to be a big outbreak here in this country.

01:03:12.000 Why?

01:03:13.000 I think it's more sanitary conditions.

01:03:22.000 Than it is people getting it from each other.

01:03:26.000 I think in West Africa, you have horrid sanitary conditions. 1.00

01:03:30.000 People are literally living in shit. 1.00

01:03:33.000 There's shit flowing down. 1.00

01:03:34.000 You walk out of your little shack, and there's shit going down the street. 1.00

01:03:38.000 And I think those conditions, and eating bushmeat and shit like that, not what we consider bushmeat, which I love here in the States. 0.99

01:03:47.000 Different bushmeat. 0.97

01:03:48.000 Did you see what he just put up?

01:03:49.000 Plane detail over Las Vegas for fears passenger had Ebola symptoms.

01:03:54.000 Now, could that be the guy that coughed on a plane?

01:03:58.000 Some paranoia, I don't know.

01:04:00.000 Some guy, I just saw on the news before, he was coughing, and then he goes, oh, I got Ebola.

01:04:04.000 He said that to somebody.

01:04:05.000 They pulled him off the plane in space suits.

01:04:08.000 They pulled him off the plane in space suits.

01:04:10.000 That's like saying you have a gun.

01:04:11.000 Right, it's the new I have a gun where...

01:04:14.000 You walk through the airport security.

01:04:16.000 Security, we put your bag up and go, I hope they don't find the bomb in there, right?

01:04:21.000 Hey, we're going to have fun in Vegas!

01:04:22.000 Yeah, no you're not.

01:04:24.000 You're going back here for the old full body cabinet.

01:04:27.000 There's no jokes in Vegas.

01:04:28.000 You're not allowed to have no jokes at the security of the airport, brother.

01:04:31.000 It's amazing people still do that.

01:04:33.000 And this guy said Ebola, and they came in... 0.99

01:04:38.000 Grabbed him and fucking took him off the plane. 0.99

01:04:39.000 With spacesuits. 0.99

01:04:40.000 It's amazing.

01:04:41.000 People are petrified.

01:04:43.000 Well, it's so contagious.

01:04:44.000 And it does have a 100% mortality rate here in this country.

01:04:49.000 Right.

01:04:49.000 One case.

01:04:50.000 Well, there's two people that have it, right?

01:04:52.000 A second person was brought into L.A. from Liberia.

01:04:56.000 They found out that he doesn't have it, though.

01:04:58.000 And this guy in Vegas, supposedly, he just got back from Africa and he puked on the plane, so that's why they thought he might have it.

01:04:58.000 Oh, good.

01:05:04.000 Oh, fucking Christ. 1.00

01:05:05.000 The fucked up thing is, like, planes make people puke. 1.00

01:05:08.000 So if you're puking on the plane... 0.99

01:05:11.000 Yeah, that's why they have a bag in front of your seat.

01:05:14.000 Yeah, there's bags in front of every person for puke.

01:05:16.000 I've never puked on a plane, though, have you?

01:05:18.000 No.

01:05:18.000 I haven't either.

01:05:19.000 Pussies. 1.00

01:05:20.000 Puking on a plane. 1.00

01:05:21.000 Puke on a boat?

01:05:22.000 Nope, I haven't.

01:05:23.000 I've puked on boats.

01:05:24.000 Yeah?

01:05:25.000 Yeah.

01:05:26.000 It sucks, because I love boats.

01:05:28.000 But it gets you? 0.99

01:05:29.000 Yeah, but like, Keith's got one, and I go out on the Great South Bay and shit like that on Long Island, and it's cool. 0.82

01:05:37.000 I got no problem with that.

01:05:37.000 That's fine.

01:05:39.000 But, like, going deep sea fishing, which I love doing.

01:05:44.000 You're having a good time.

01:05:44.000 It's fun.

01:05:45.000 And then, it's so weird how it hits you, seasickness, because you'll just be, yeah, I'm fucking hanging. 0.98

01:05:53.000 What the hell was that? 0.81

01:05:54.000 And all of a sudden you just get sick.

01:05:57.000 Yeah.

01:05:57.000 And you can't do anything.

01:05:59.000 You start puking.

01:06:00.000 Yeah, it doesn't get me for whatever reason, but I know people it does get.

01:06:00.000 It's terrible.

01:06:04.000 Some weird visual inner ear thing.

01:06:06.000 It's your whole vision combined with your balance and how the two, if they're separated too much, If they're not in compliance with each other, it's like, all right, make them vomit!

01:06:19.000 I don't know why.

01:06:20.000 I guess they assume you've been poisoned.

01:06:22.000 Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

01:06:22.000 Your body assumes it's been poisoned and needs to get the poison out.

01:06:27.000 I get it if I'm sitting in the backseat of a car and I'm reading something.

01:06:30.000 Yes, that'll make you queasy.

01:06:31.000 It's like all the bumps and like staring at something all of a sudden.

01:06:35.000 Yeah.

01:06:35.000 We have that swallowing thing where the saliva starts coming up.

01:06:38.000 Awful, right?

01:06:39.000 Yeah.

01:06:41.000 I'm not a friend of puking.

01:06:44.000 The drug that they use to keep you from getting seasick, those little patches, those little things, it's scopolamine.

01:06:44.000 Here's what's funny.

01:06:51.000 That's that same drug as the Colombian devil's breath that they blow on you and they turn you into a fucking zombie. 1.00

01:06:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:06:59.000 Really? 1.00

01:07:00.000 Yeah.

01:07:01.000 That's that same drug.

01:07:02.000 Vice did a documentary on Colombian devil's breath.

01:07:05.000 It's the exact same drug that they use to keep you from getting seasick.

01:07:08.000 It's just the seasick version is a very low, low dose.

01:07:12.000 The Colombians, they'll take this stuff and they blow it in your face and it goes up your nose and you're gone. 1.00

01:07:12.000 Right, yeah. 1.00

01:07:18.000 Wow. 0.81

01:07:19.000 Yeah, they'll blow it in your face and you literally become a zombie. 1.00

01:07:22.000 And you'll move shit for them, commit murder, fucking dig holes. 1.00

01:07:26.000 Does it ever wear off? 1.00

01:07:28.000 Yeah.

01:07:28.000 Oh, okay.

01:07:29.000 That would be frightening.

01:07:30.000 You don't have any recollection.

01:07:31.000 You have no recollection.

01:07:33.000 Yeah, this stuff. 0.93

01:07:34.000 Colombian devil's breath.

01:07:35.000 Have people been arrested and used that as a defense?

01:07:38.000 No, but it's a good idea.

01:07:39.000 They think that it also might be one of the reasons why Haiti is so, Ebola's told, 4,000 in seven months.

01:07:47.000 233 of them are healthcare workers. 0.99

01:07:49.000 That's a lot of fucking people dead. 0.99

01:07:51.000 4,000 people? 1.00

01:07:52.000 That's 1,000 more than 9-11.

01:07:54.000 In seven months.

01:07:56.000 Look at that guy.

01:07:57.000 He's just crawling on the ground.

01:07:59.000 Wow. 0.78

01:08:00.000 That is some real repugnant poverty over there.

01:08:05.000 Well, when I was doing this sci-fi show, we did an episode on hemorrhagic viruses.

01:08:10.000 We did an episode on what they call weaponized weaponry.

01:08:15.000 And we talked to them at the CDC center that they have down in Galveston, Texas, where they have these...

01:08:21.000 We went into the building.

01:08:23.000 They have these four-foot-thick walls with solid glass and concrete and these ventilation systems that suck everything out, and everyone's wearing spacesuits. 0.82

01:08:32.000 They want me to wear a spacesuit and get in there, and I was like, get the fuck out of here. 0.92

01:08:36.000 I'm not going in there. 0.78

01:08:37.000 They're like, it's totally safe.

01:08:39.000 I'm like, no, no, it's not totally safe.

01:08:41.000 It's reasonably safe. 0.99

01:08:43.000 If a fucking earthquake happens, and your system breaks while I'm in there, and I have to fucking take my mask off to work the gear, no, I'm dead. 1.00

01:08:52.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:08:53.000 You bleed. 1.00

01:08:54.000 You bleed from everywhere. 1.00

01:08:57.000 That's fucking crazy. 1.00

01:08:57.000 Your eyes bleed, your asshole bleeds, your mouth, your nose, your body starts to liquefy. 1.00

01:09:02.000 You just start oozing. 1.00

01:09:04.000 It's one of the worst ways to die ever. 1.00

01:09:07.000 Yeah, it's fucking terrible, man. 1.00

01:09:07.000 Breaks down your innards. 1.00

01:09:09.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:09:10.000 And then I guess the guy, Duncan, what was his name?

01:09:14.000 The guy that just recently died?

01:09:15.000 He came over from Liberia?

01:09:17.000 His family is now criticizing the hospital, saying that they might not have given him the care that he...

01:09:23.000 They closed an entire floor.

01:09:25.000 He comes from Liberia, through Brussels, comes here, gets...

01:09:29.000 Do you think they weren't giving him the most attention in that hospital out of any patient?

01:09:35.000 And then the family was like...

01:09:38.000 You know, well, we want an investigation.

01:09:40.000 It's like, you should be thanking every doctor in that hospital. 0.99

01:09:45.000 They should tell the family we're going to have to kill you because you might be contagious. 1.00

01:09:48.000 You might be contagious. 1.00

01:09:49.000 We'll just light the house on fire. 0.78

01:09:51.000 You all in the house? 0.86

01:09:51.000 Good, okay. 0.86

01:09:52.000 Nobody allowed from Africa for a year. 1.00

01:09:55.000 Let's just put a moratorium.

01:09:57.000 You keep your country.

01:09:58.000 We got ours.

01:09:58.000 Come back one year!

01:10:00.000 Yeah.

01:10:01.000 I have friends that go to Africa for hunting.

01:10:03.000 Really?

01:10:04.000 They're still going over there. 1.00

01:10:06.000 Cameron Haynes, he just went over there and shot a bunch of shit with bows and arrows. 0.99

01:10:09.000 Are they Facebooking their pictures? 1.00

01:10:10.000 Oh yeah, he Facebooks his pictures. 1.00

01:10:12.000 They're the type of person that doesn't give a shit. 0.99

01:10:15.000 Yeah, that's good. 1.00

01:10:15.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

01:10:16.000 Every so often those pictures come out and people are like, oh! 0.99

01:10:19.000 Huh?

01:10:20.000 How dare you?

01:10:21.000 You know what's interesting?

01:10:22.000 And my friend Steve Rinella had a really good point about this.

01:10:24.000 The real outrage came when a white girl was doing it. 1.00

01:10:28.000 True. 0.96

01:10:29.000 It wasn't like some old fat man took a picture of him with a lion that he killed and everybody went crazy and it got a million Facebook hits.

01:10:36.000 No.

01:10:36.000 Yeah.

01:10:36.000 There's old fat men that have Facebook pages that are filled with fucking dead unicorns.

01:10:41.000 Yes. 1.00

01:10:41.000 And no one gives a shit. 1.00

01:10:42.000 No one gives a shit. 1.00

01:10:44.000 Because it's an old fat man that nobody wants to have sex with. 1.00

01:10:46.000 But you take one of those hot young chicks, a cheerleader from Texas, and she's got a pink bow, and she's standing over a zebra, and everybody loses their shit. 1.00

01:10:55.000 Why? 1.00

01:10:55.000 And this. 1.00

01:10:56.000 Sexism. 1.00

01:10:56.000 Well, how stupid is that? 1.00

01:10:58.000 People actually thought that Steven Spielberg killed a fucking triceratops. 1.00

01:11:03.000 Fucking amazing. 1.00

01:11:04.000 Or a stegosaurus. 1.00

01:11:07.000 People are so fucking dumb. 1.00

01:11:09.000 People thought that he killed a triceratops. 1.00

01:11:13.000 People are so fucking stupid! 1.00

01:11:15.000 I wonder what you'd use on a triceratops. 1.00

01:11:18.000 They're so fucking stupid. 1.00

01:11:20.000 But there's a lot of people that have those websites where they go to Africa and they kill animals and they put them on their website. 1.00

01:11:26.000 Nobody gives a shit. 1.00

01:11:27.000 So why is it that the hot young girl with the pink bow and everything, she's the one that gets the, oh, you bitch, you cunt. 1.00

01:11:34.000 Well, my friend Steve, he had a bunch of good points about it. 1.00

01:11:37.000 One of the things he said, he said to believe a lot of it is real sexism.

01:11:40.000 That's real sexism. 0.84

01:11:41.000 Like, if it's okay for a guy to do it, but if a girl does it, everybody goes nuts. 0.98

01:11:45.000 And they don't want pretty girls getting involved in that, like, for some reason. 0.99

01:11:50.000 Wow.

01:11:50.000 Like, first of all, there's a lot of people that resent pretty girls.

01:11:54.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:11:55.000 Have a fucking free ride. 1.00

01:11:57.000 Especially if you're a chick that maybe is unattractive and you're also someone who loves animals and you see some pretty girl with a fucking dead zebra and you just shh! 1.00

01:12:06.000 You fucking cunt! 1.00

01:12:08.000 She was a cunt already just because she's privileged. 1.00

01:12:11.000 She's got great bone structure and a big juicy ass and everybody wants to come inside of her. 1.00

01:12:16.000 Fuck her! 1.00

01:12:17.000 And so there's that. 1.00

01:12:17.000 Right? 1.00

01:12:19.000 But now you have a license because she's standing over a fucking leopard. 1.00

01:12:23.000 Which she shot with a bow and arrow and like, this fucking bitch. 1.00

01:12:23.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:26.000 I hope that animal eats you alive. 1.00

01:12:28.000 I hope they make you suffer. 1.00

01:12:30.000 Yes. 1.00

01:12:30.000 You die slowly. 1.00

01:12:31.000 That is it because she couldn't just call her out for being pretty. 1.00

01:12:35.000 She'd look petty.

01:12:35.000 Exactly.

01:12:36.000 And terrible. 1.00

01:12:37.000 And men who know that that girl would never fuck them in a million years, they get angry too. 1.00

01:12:41.000 Right. 1.00

01:12:42.000 And then there's also the men that want to go way overboard to show everybody that they really support animal rights and people who eat animals are assholes and people who shoot zebras are bullshit. 1.00

01:12:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:54.000 It's a fascinating thing because you look at all the restaurants everywhere you go.

01:13:00.000 You can get out of this office right now. 0.95

01:13:01.000 We could drive down the street and every fucking place on the left and the right and the left and the right is fantastic. 0.99

01:13:07.000 Filled with the carcasses of animals that died in ways far more horrible than any fucking zebra suffers when you double lung them with an arrow. 1.00

01:13:19.000 These animals live their lives in pens, in cages, bred specifically for consumption, killed in horrible ways, fed other dead animals when they're not even supposed to be eating animals, just so they can get more protein into them to make them fatter and stupider. 1.00

01:13:36.000 I mean, we're horrible. 0.76

01:13:38.000 It really is great when you take the byproducts that cannot be used for anything else, grind it up, and feed it back to the animals.

01:13:47.000 That's what they did with Mad Cow. 1.00

01:13:49.000 They fucking were feeding them brain matter. 0.99

01:13:52.000 They got diseases that cannibals in New Guinea got. 1.00

01:13:55.000 That's sci-fi shit right there. 1.00

01:13:57.000 That's fucking dark. 1.00

01:13:58.000 That's Soylent Green stuff right there. 1.00

01:14:01.000 It's so fucking gross. 0.99

01:14:02.000 Feed it back to them. 1.00

01:14:03.000 They've already used it. 0.99

01:14:05.000 They've always used it for dog food and animal food and things like that, which I don't necessarily think is that awful, because dogs eat their own assholes. 1.00

01:14:11.000 They eat shit. 1.00

01:14:13.000 They lick each other's balls. 1.00

01:14:15.000 They're not picky. 1.00

01:14:16.000 I mean, does it have protein in it?

01:14:18.000 Yeah, it's probably good for the dog.

01:14:19.000 I don't understand.

01:14:20.000 Yeah.

01:14:21.000 But the hunting thing in Africa is even more exacerbated by the reality of conservation, that these animals were on the verge of extinction, and now they're valuable.

01:14:31.000 So because they're valuable, there's far more of these animals than they've ever been before, like ever in recorded history in Africa. 0.78

01:14:38.000 Like, they have areas of high-fence hunting operations that have these once endangered animals, and they're just fucking roaming free wild everywhere.

01:14:46.000 And these hunters fly in, and they go to these spots, and they kill them. 1.00

01:14:50.000 So it's so fucked up. 0.99

01:14:51.000 It's like, on one side... 0.99

01:14:52.000 Like, you know Louis Theroux, the documentarian from England?

01:14:56.000 You ever seen his documentaries?

01:14:57.000 No.

01:14:58.000 Fascinating guy.

01:14:59.000 Really, really cool guy.

01:15:00.000 And I had him on the podcast before, and we talked specifically about these operations, because he went over there, and he was staying with them for three weeks.

01:15:06.000 And he was saying that these people have these hunting ranches, and without these hunting ranches, these animals would probably be extinct.

01:15:14.000 But because they're valuable and people fly in and hunt them, they're worth money.

01:15:20.000 So he's talking to the guy, and he's trying to figure it out. 0.99

01:15:22.000 And the guy goes on this fucking crazy rant. 0.99

01:15:25.000 The guy goes, you keep asking me the same question. 0.99

01:15:28.000 I'm going to tell you what's up. 1.00

01:15:29.000 Africa is fucked. 1.00

01:15:31.000 Do you not understand it? 1.00

01:15:33.000 Africa is worth money or it's nothing. 1.00

01:15:35.000 These animals, they're worth something.

01:15:38.000 So then they're alive.

01:15:39.000 If they weren't alive, if they weren't worth anything, they wouldn't be alive. 1.00

01:15:43.000 Africa is fucked. 1.00

01:15:45.000 And he just was in that South African accent. 1.00

01:15:48.000 Wow, yeah. 1.00

01:15:49.000 Africa is fucked. 1.00

01:15:50.000 And he's this old guy that's been living in Africa his whole life, and he's just talking about how it just grinds everything. 1.00

01:15:56.000 Like, if it's not valuable, it's not going to stay alive.

01:15:56.000 Yeah.

01:15:59.000 The only reason why these animals even exist still is because people can come over and hunt them.

01:15:59.000 Yeah.

01:16:04.000 And hunt them.

01:16:05.000 How ironic.

01:16:06.000 Right, isn't that?

01:16:07.000 And they pay a lot of money to go over there and hunt these animals, and then the money...

01:16:12.000 From what I've heard, I don't know how accurate it is, isn't it supposed to go to some conservation?

01:16:17.000 A lot of it does.

01:16:18.000 A lot of it does.

01:16:18.000 Well, I would be suspect to anything that goes over to Africa, and that's supposed to go somewhere.

01:16:24.000 When you look at starving nations, and just plain loads of food are going over there, and they're still just as starving, someone's getting rich off of that, and yeah, it's not the people.

01:16:36.000 Well, the numbers of people that are in poverty are so high.

01:16:41.000 It's almost like, yo, what am I going to do with this?

01:16:44.000 We showed an image the other day on the podcast of what Africa looks like size-wise, that you could fit pretty much every other country in the world inside of Africa. 0.98

01:16:54.000 It's a fucking enormous place. 0.93

01:16:56.000 Just the Congo itself is as wide as America. 0.99

01:16:59.000 Yeah.

01:16:59.000 One country, yeah.

01:17:01.000 Imagine the Congo, a fucking giant rainforest filled with wild, crazy monkeys, and some of them, they were mythological until recently. 0.99

01:17:11.000 Yeah! 0.99

01:17:12.000 You remember when we were on the show?

01:17:13.000 We were on Opie and Anthony.

01:17:14.000 A lady called up. 1.00

01:17:16.000 We were talking about the Bondo ape, which has since been proven by DNA and photograph and video evidence. 0.98

01:17:22.000 But I was talking about it based on a National Geographic article, and some woman who was a biologist called up and said it was bullshit, and you guys don't know what you're talking about. 0.98

01:17:31.000 And I was getting angry at her. 1.00

01:17:32.000 I'm like, I'm not making this up, bitch! 1.00

01:17:34.000 This is the Congo. 1.00

01:17:36.000 The Congo's a crazy place.

01:17:37.000 Imagine that, though.

01:17:38.000 I just flew over the entire country, and you look down and you see America.

01:17:43.000 Imagine all of that being a jungle full of wildlife.

01:17:48.000 You don't know everything that's in there.

01:17:51.000 No.

01:17:51.000 And there are pockets of places where there are little communities of one animal, certain things.

01:17:56.000 Their diet dictates where they are, their surroundings, whether they migrate or not. 0.67

01:18:02.000 You're not going to be able to keep tabs on every fucking living thing in one country on the continent that is that big and that covered. 0.71

01:18:12.000 It's just astounding that people are surprised when new things get found. 0.96

01:18:16.000 Yeah, that was a big one though, a new primate and a big six foot tall super aggressive chimpanzee that occasionally walks upright can weigh as much as 400 pounds and they call them lion killers.

01:18:29.000 Oh, man.

01:18:30.000 They say there's two types of chimps, tree beaters and lion killers. 0.70

01:18:33.000 And the tree beaters are the smaller ones that go up into the top of the trees and run, but the lion killers bed on the ground like gorillas. 1.00

01:18:39.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:18:40.000 They're like Planet of the Apes type gorillas. 1.00

01:18:41.000 Yeah, we just watched that on the plane. 1.00

01:18:43.000 They're fucking giant, man. 0.99

01:18:44.000 The last one was not bad. 1.00

01:18:45.000 Yeah, the last one was pretty good. 0.99

01:18:46.000 Fucking a lot of anger in there. 1.00

01:18:47.000 A lot of anger in those monkeys. 1.00

01:18:49.000 Oh, yeah.

01:18:50.000 But this area of the Congo is also where all the Coltrane comes from when they're making cell phones out of stuff. 0.94

01:18:59.000 There's so much minerals and shit that they extract from these areas. 0.89

01:19:02.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:19:03.000 It's a very wealthy nation as far as resources go.

01:19:08.000 And it's the poorest, not nation, continent.

01:19:11.000 And it's the poorest continent ever.

01:19:14.000 Sub-Saharan Africa on the face of the earth.

01:19:17.000 It's astounding to me.

01:19:18.000 And I know it always gets blamed on imperialism and, you know, every other country has come in and raped and ravaged Africa and then left with the wealth and riches and blah blah blah.

01:19:30.000 But, I mean, hasn't that happened with every country?

01:19:34.000 Country and continent on the face of this earth?

01:19:36.000 Pretty much.

01:19:37.000 During some point in history?

01:19:39.000 Well, unless someone comes along and revamps their infrastructure and creates some sort of a central government that's democratically elected and gets rid of the majority of their corruption.

01:19:50.000 The civilization there is so old.

01:19:54.000 And the corruption and the violence is so embedded in their system.

01:19:59.000 To break the momentum of like... 0.97

01:20:01.000 The Congo, that fucking Coney 2012 guy, remember? 0.96

01:20:07.000 Where'd that go? 0.99

01:20:09.000 Well, when the fucking guy that was heading it started beating off naked on a street corner, that hashtag went into the old dustbin. 0.99

01:20:17.000 That was so quick. 1.00

01:20:18.000 That was a fast one.

01:20:20.000 People cared and then didn't care.

01:20:22.000 Like that.

01:20:23.000 That is the hashtag, though.

01:20:24.000 That's like, people care, then they don't care.

01:20:27.000 Yeah, that was the biggest one, though.

01:20:29.000 It was huge.

01:20:30.000 Celebrities get involved, and there was a kit.

01:20:32.000 Like, there was a kit that you could send for that on one day in April, I think, of that year, people were supposed to wake up and just see Kony signs everywhere.

01:20:43.000 And you could send for these big kits where they had Kony stickers and stuff, and one day, people were supposed to get out of bed and go to work and be like, what's happening?

01:20:51.000 Kony everywhere! 1.00

01:20:52.000 And then the guy just started jerking off naked on the corner. 0.99

01:20:55.000 In San Diego, too. 0.99

01:20:56.000 That's it.

01:20:57.000 But they don't play.

01:20:58.000 No, no.

01:20:58.000 They don't play in San Diego.

01:21:00.000 It's fucking conservative. 1.00

01:21:00.000 You can't do that. 1.00

01:21:02.000 They're close to military bases.

01:21:04.000 You can't just be jacking off with a bunch of old rich people. 0.99

01:21:06.000 Donald Rumpfell's neighborhood.

01:21:07.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:21:08.000 All the slacktivists at that point were just like, we need a new hashtag.

01:21:12.000 New hashtag!

01:21:14.000 The point is, like, these warlords that essentially control large parts of the Congo, it's like, to get them out and to revamp the system and deal with the fact that there's a jungle and there's no roads.

01:21:25.000 No roads.

01:21:26.000 Very fuzzy borders.

01:21:28.000 Like, all these borders are constantly moving based on which warlord is warring with the other one and how much land they take and killing, taking resources.

01:21:37.000 Yeah, there needs to be some kind of...

01:21:40.000 Legitimate infrastructure put in place.

01:21:42.000 Yeah.

01:21:43.000 How's that ever going to happen?

01:21:45.000 Well, that's another thing.

01:21:45.000 Who's doing that?

01:21:46.000 We think about it like, oh boy, it's never happened in the time we've been alive, so it won't happen. 0.99

01:21:51.000 This shit takes thousands of years sometimes. 1.00

01:21:53.000 It does, yeah. 1.00

01:21:54.000 Yeah.

01:21:55.000 Well, you look at some of the Middle East with all their oil. 1.00

01:22:02.000 I mean, they were walking around on that shit for years not knowing it. 1.00

01:22:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:22:06.000 It was pretty much... 0.98

01:22:08.000 More civilized, technically advanced cultures that said, hey, let's build these things and start pumping fucking oil out of the ground. 0.95

01:22:16.000 Made them rich, but that's the infrastructure that was put in place by the West and kind of made them who they are now.

01:22:25.000 Well, So why can't it happen in Africa with all those resources?

01:22:29.000 Because the second someone swoops in from the West and decides that they're going to start building things, it's instantly seen as taking advantage and raping the land.

01:22:38.000 But meanwhile, jobs are created when you rape the land, sorry to say, but it does happen. 0.60

01:22:44.000 And I think that's better than just having a population that doesn't even... 0.99

01:22:48.000 Know how to take the shit out of the ground and is literally walking on gold and starving. 0.99

01:22:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:22:54.000 And dying of disease. 1.00

01:22:55.000 Literally walking on gold.

01:22:57.000 Yeah.

01:22:57.000 And they just...

01:22:58.000 But there's no roads. 0.99

01:22:59.000 And there's also this problem, there's fucking trees everywhere. 0.99

01:23:04.000 And you can't cut them down or else you're evil. 0.99

01:23:06.000 Everybody will go terrible. 0.79

01:23:07.000 Evil people. 0.96

01:23:08.000 Oh, you bad person. 0.99

01:23:09.000 You non-green.

01:23:11.000 But if you're in Dubai, you get to everything.

01:23:15.000 Slap down a road and you're good to go.

01:23:17.000 Start drilling.

01:23:17.000 Alright, we got cash.

01:23:18.000 What do you want to do? 0.99

01:23:19.000 Let's build the biggest fucking building ever. 1.00

01:23:21.000 Let's do it. 1.00

01:23:22.000 You got twillions.

01:23:22.000 Go ahead.

01:23:24.000 Twillions and twillions of dollars.

01:23:26.000 Maybe we should then just look at it for what it is and not try to incorporate that into the world we know and we're familiar with and just accept that for what it is.

01:23:40.000 There are going to be people that live in these places that cannot be industrialized and they are going to have to suffer the consequences of living there. 0.96

01:23:47.000 I don't know what else there is unless you want us to deforest, build some roads, get some big cat fucking bulldozers in there. 0.96

01:23:55.000 What's the answer there? 0.97

01:23:57.000 There's not a lot of answers. 1.00

01:23:58.000 Everywhere you go that has a big jungle is fucked. 1.00

01:24:01.000 Yes. 1.00

01:24:02.000 Once you get into the jungle, like, there's fucking people with leaves over their dicks. 0.99

01:24:07.000 What are we going to do here? 0.99

01:24:08.000 When you're fucking around as a kid in the woods, you have been in certain situations where you're like, ah, I'm in the stickers. 0.98

01:24:14.000 Ah, I went off the path. 0.99

01:24:16.000 Oh, I'm this...

01:24:17.000 That's nothing!

01:24:19.000 Like, imagine that, the size of the United States, and a thousand times worse.

01:24:25.000 Now do something in there.

01:24:27.000 Now live! 1.00

01:24:28.000 Yeah, no shit, man. 1.00

01:24:30.000 It's crazy. 1.00

01:24:31.000 That is fucking terrifying, to be living in the jungle, too. 0.99

01:24:34.000 Then you have to think about the bugs. 1.00

01:24:36.000 All the fucking bugs that are there. 0.99

01:24:38.000 When you put a little off on you in the backyard because of the mosquito. 1.00

01:24:42.000 I got bit.

01:24:42.000 Did you see this?

01:24:43.000 I got bit.

01:24:44.000 That's just like those bee beards of mosquitoes.

01:24:50.000 Well, have you ever been in Alaska in the summer?

01:24:52.000 No, I haven't.

01:24:53.000 Alaska's incredible.

01:24:55.000 You go outside.

01:24:56.000 I'm not exaggerating at all.

01:24:58.000 You get out of your car, you step out of your car, and then a swarm of mosquitoes will engulf you. 0.69

01:25:04.000 Like, when Ari and I went fishing last year, and what we had to do is, we pulled up to the spot, and the boat was over there, so we go, alright, you ready?

01:25:12.000 I got the keys.

01:25:13.000 You got everything?

01:25:14.000 Got everything in your hands?

01:25:15.000 Ready?

01:25:16.000 Go! 0.95

01:25:17.000 And we would open the door, slam it, lock it, and just start running.

01:25:20.000 And you had to just run to the boat.

01:25:22.000 Where were you running to?

01:25:23.000 Oh, the boat.

01:25:23.000 To the boat.

01:25:24.000 Because once you park the car, if you stand put, if you just stay there, you just get swarmed. 0.98

01:25:29.000 And then they follow you everywhere, and they're just stinging the whole fuck out of you. 1.00

01:25:32.000 So once you get on the boat and pull out, they don't fuck with you? 0.99

01:25:35.000 They can't find you. 0.99

01:25:36.000 Once you...

01:25:37.000 You're going down the river.

01:25:39.000 Yeah, if you stay put for a while, they'll find you.

01:25:41.000 But the idea is that they detect your carbon dioxide.

01:25:46.000 Oh, right.

01:25:46.000 So they come to your mouth.

01:25:48.000 That's the first thing they come to, and then they find that you're in the air. 0.99

01:25:50.000 And they just start stinging the shit out of you. 0.88

01:25:52.000 I'm talking like thousands of mosquitoes instantaneously arrive. 0.97

01:25:57.000 It's because they have no time.

01:26:01.000 They're only alive for like a couple of months.

01:26:04.000 They're in high gear for everything they do.

01:26:06.000 June rolls around, man. 0.99

01:26:08.000 They fucking roll out, they hatch, and they just start going. 0.99

01:26:11.000 They're only alive till like the end of August. 0.99

01:26:13.000 August is over, it starts getting cold as shit, and it's over again. 0.97

01:26:16.000 Wow. 0.97

01:26:18.000 Yeah.

01:26:19.000 You see animals sometimes just sitting there covered in bugs and they don't seem to mind. 1.00

01:26:23.000 Don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:26:24.000 It's just amazing to me. 1.00

01:26:25.000 Well, they have no options.

01:26:26.000 No, they really don't.

01:26:26.000 Very annoying.

01:26:28.000 That tail, maybe. 1.00

01:26:29.000 They could swat away flies within a fucking two-foot radius of their asshole. 1.00

01:26:34.000 That's pretty much it. 1.00

01:26:36.000 If it's on your fucking eyeball, you're fucked. 1.00

01:26:39.000 Thanks, evolution. 1.00

01:26:40.000 Yeah, thank you. 1.00

01:26:42.000 A fucking tail just flops back and forth, barely does a half-ass job, no pun intended. 0.99

01:26:49.000 At least they put it where they know most of the flies are going to be going, because that kind of makes sense. 1.00

01:26:54.000 Put it by his asshole. 1.00

01:26:55.000 I wonder if that's why cows have tails. 1.00

01:26:57.000 Right? 1.00

01:26:58.000 I wonder if that's why a lot of animals have tails, to swat the flies away from their shitty, stinky asshole. 1.00

01:27:05.000 Really, if you think about it, what fucking purpose is a tail serve on a cow? 1.00

01:27:08.000 Unless it's to swat the fucking flies away. 0.99

01:27:11.000 Yeah, I mean, it's not balancing it. 0.99

01:27:12.000 They don't care either. 0.99

01:27:13.000 Fucking cows, you ever see them? 1.00

01:27:14.000 They got like smooshed shit all over their whole asses. 1.00

01:27:20.000 Green cow shit. 1.00

01:27:21.000 Handle for fucking. 1.00

01:27:22.000 Terrible. 1.00

01:27:23.000 Yeah.

01:27:23.000 Good luck.

01:27:24.000 There's another way to look at it.

01:27:26.000 Good luck. 1.00

01:27:26.000 Good luck fucking a cow. 1.00

01:27:28.000 Has there been a guy ever that's fucked a cow? 1.00

01:27:30.000 For sure, right? 1.00

01:27:31.000 I am sure every animal on the face of this earth has been fucked by somebody. 0.99

01:27:35.000 Can you imagine if people could get animals pregnant? 0.99

01:27:38.000 If people could get animals pregnant, the world would look so strange. 0.99

01:27:41.000 They'd be half human, half horse, half monkey, half cow, half cats.

01:27:47.000 Half beavis.

01:27:49.000 We go nuts sometimes when we see, you know, mixing of the races. 1.00

01:27:53.000 People go crazy.

01:27:55.000 Oh! 1.00

01:27:55.000 Imagine a fucking half-horse person just kind of walking around. 1.00

01:28:00.000 Yeah, nature figured that shit out. 1.00

01:28:02.000 Doesn't work out mathematically. 0.98

01:28:04.000 This does not compute. 0.98

01:28:06.000 And if it does, even if they're close enough to breed, whatever they breed, whatever they fuck and they have a kid, it becomes sterile. 0.99

01:28:13.000 Yeah! 1.00

01:28:14.000 Yeah, like, what, donkeys and mules?

01:28:16.000 A mule, a donkey, and a horse.

01:28:18.000 Or ligers. 0.99

01:28:19.000 Ligers are sterile.

01:28:21.000 Half lion, half tiger.

01:28:22.000 It does seem like there was some type of plan put in place there.

01:28:27.000 You can't do that.

01:28:27.000 A little bit.

01:28:28.000 You could do that, but we're not going to let it go any further.

01:28:31.000 That's why it would be really weird.

01:28:32.000 And that we won't even let get to that point. 1.00

01:28:34.000 Like if somebody fucked a chimp and made a... 1.00

01:28:36.000 What if you could make, like, babies, but the babies couldn't breed? 1.00

01:28:40.000 Some half person, half chimp. 1.00

01:28:42.000 Half person. 1.00

01:28:42.000 I mean, how much different is that than a cow or a tiger fucking a lion? 1.00

01:28:47.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:28:49.000 I mean, that's the idea behind people breeding with Neanderthals, right? 0.85

01:28:53.000 Right, yeah, yeah. 0.96

01:28:54.000 They fucked and they made some sort of a half-hybrid human Neanderthal thing. 0.99

01:28:59.000 That just kind of petered out down the line somewhere. 0.99

01:29:03.000 Yeah.

01:29:04.000 They were too thick.

01:29:06.000 Yeah.

01:29:06.000 You got another note over there?

01:29:08.000 I don't know what that is. 1.00

01:29:09.000 Vice Colombian donkey fucker. 1.00

01:29:10.000 Oh, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:29:11.000 The vice show on the Colombian donkey fucker. 1.00

01:29:13.000 Those poor bastards. 1.00

01:29:16.000 He seemed to be enjoying it. 1.00

01:29:17.000 I saw the clip, and he was a little embarrassed.

01:29:21.000 Barely.

01:29:22.000 A little embarrassed, but barely, yes.

01:29:23.000 But donkey's a convenient size. 0.99

01:29:25.000 I want to know if someone fucked a giraffe. 1.00

01:29:27.000 There's gotta be a dude who figured out a way to get a giraffe to come near the tree. 0.99

01:29:33.000 I think if you're around where there are giraffes, there's so many other fuckable animals. 0.95

01:29:38.000 Yeah, but there's got to be a guy who had goals. 0.92

01:29:40.000 There's dudes who climbed Everest.

01:29:42.000 There's people who ran a sub four-minute mile. 0.99

01:29:45.000 There's got to be a guy who fucked everything else. 1.00

01:29:47.000 It's like, God damn it, I'm going to fuck a giraffe. 1.00

01:29:49.000 I'm going to do this. 1.00

01:29:51.000 And I want to fuck a live giraffe, because it's not fair if you shoot a giraffe. 1.00

01:29:51.000 Ha! 1.00

01:29:55.000 And then fuck it. 1.00

01:29:56.000 Fuck it while it's still warm. 1.00

01:29:57.000 It's even ethical. 1.00

01:29:58.000 It's rude. 0.99

01:29:59.000 And most of, if the animal's a little taller, I heard about animals being stump broke, where you train them and break them to back up to a stump so you can stand on the stump and fuck them. 0.98

01:30:11.000 So the animal's stump broke. 0.97

01:30:13.000 It knows you're backing them into the stump.

01:30:15.000 What?

01:30:16.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:30:17.000 What kind of animal gets stump broke?

01:30:19.000 A horse.

01:30:20.000 A horse?

01:30:21.000 Wow. 1.00

01:30:21.000 If you're going to fuck a horse? 1.00

01:30:23.000 Because I remember... 1.00

01:30:24.000 Because I used to live out here.

01:30:26.000 I actually used to live... 0.99

01:30:27.000 Well, here is the horse fucking capital. 1.00

01:30:29.000 Here is the horse fucking capital. 1.00

01:30:31.000 I lived out in San Juan Capistrano. 0.99

01:30:31.000 It is. 0.99

01:30:34.000 And I had horses and everything like that.

01:30:36.000 And it was always the joke about who, you know, stump broke their horse. 1.00

01:30:40.000 Because it implied that you were fucking your horse. 0.99

01:30:42.000 If it was stump broke. 1.00

01:30:42.000 Oh, God. 1.00

01:30:44.000 Yeah.

01:30:44.000 And then there's that other thing where you'd...

01:30:48.000 I guess a boot broke was the, you have your boots and you shove the goat or the sheep's back legs in your boots and they couldn't go anywhere. 0.98

01:30:56.000 And then another one, you were supposed to go to the edge of an embankment or a cliff and push at the sheep and it would back up because it would be afraid of falling off the cliff and it would back right into your dick and you'd get a little action. 0.97

01:31:10.000 I've heard of that before. 0.99

01:31:13.000 How insane!

01:31:15.000 People get desperate.

01:31:17.000 They get desperate. 1.00

01:31:18.000 I've been without pussy growing up, especially when it was really hard back in the old days to get fucking laid. 0.99

01:31:26.000 And you're desperate, but you never look around at an alternative live source. 1.00

01:31:33.000 You'll fuck everything else. 1.00

01:31:35.000 You grew up in Long Island, right? 1.00

01:31:36.000 Well, Long Island and out here, but...

01:31:38.000 But Long Island, here...

01:31:39.000 As a kid, yeah.

01:31:40.000 These are places where people are.

01:31:42.000 Yes.

01:31:42.000 There's a lot of people.

01:31:43.000 If you're on a farm somewhere in the middle of Bolivia and there's no one around, you just get on the top of the farmhouse and you look around, you don't see shit for as far as the eye can see, and you look at one of these sheep and you look at the sheep vagina and you go, well... 0.99

01:31:56.000 Let me just stick my finger in there, Phil. 0.97

01:31:58.000 You know, Joe, you really do put things in perspective.

01:32:02.000 I'm thinking from my own privileged terms.

01:32:05.000 You're thinking about an urban scenario.

01:32:07.000 Right, where, you know... 1.00

01:32:09.000 These are desperate fucks living in hard times. 0.99

01:32:11.000 He knows he's not going to even see a girl. 1.00

01:32:15.000 Poor bastard. 1.00

01:32:16.000 You could get a shit roll of the dice and live in the Congo. 1.00

01:32:19.000 You could just wake up one day and your feet are dirty and your house is made out of twigs. 0.99

01:32:24.000 That was always the intense fear of the thought that reincarnation might be true.

01:32:30.000 And even though no one really remembers who they were in a previous life or who they were going to be in the next or something, you're always like, I don't want to.

01:32:38.000 Man, I got a good one this time around.

01:32:41.000 I got so fucking lucky. 0.97

01:32:43.000 New York, United States. 0.99

01:32:45.000 White male job. 1.00

01:32:47.000 This fucking is... 1.00

01:32:48.000 I aced this. 1.00

01:32:49.000 And then you get reincarnated.

01:32:51.000 You got Ebola. 1.00

01:32:53.000 You're coughing your blood up in front of a fucking guy fucking a goat. 1.00

01:32:57.000 Or you're a monkey. 1.00

01:32:58.000 Or a monkey. 0.68

01:32:59.000 And you know you used to be a person, but you can't talk.

01:33:01.000 And you're like...

01:33:01.000 And that's all you can do.

01:33:06.000 Bummed out.

01:33:07.000 That would be a bummer. 0.92

01:33:09.000 Beaten off.

01:33:10.000 Do you know what I was?

01:33:10.000 Bummed out.

01:33:12.000 I was in New York.

01:33:15.000 I was a white guy.

01:33:17.000 I was a white guy who had this whole thing where I was telling chicks no girlfriends.

01:33:21.000 No girlfriends.

01:33:22.000 It was great.

01:33:23.000 And they still came over.

01:33:25.000 It's crazy!

01:33:26.000 How many of you think come over because they think, I'm gonna fix him. 1.00

01:33:30.000 This guy with his no girlfriend bullshit. 1.00

01:33:33.000 You think? 1.00

01:33:33.000 I think so. 1.00

01:33:34.000 I think there have been a few that think like, oh, well, he just hasn't found the right girl.

01:33:38.000 And they'll say, they go with it in the beginning, but then they start getting angry with you. 0.99

01:33:43.000 As they realize, oh, this motherfucker's serious. 1.00

01:33:43.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:33:47.000 Oh, wait a minute! 1.00

01:33:48.000 He meant that bullshit! 1.00

01:33:50.000 A lot of guys say these things, but they can't pull it off. 1.00

01:33:53.000 No one really means that when they say it. 0.99

01:33:55.000 Who the fuck do you think you are that you could pull this off? 0.99

01:33:58.000 They get that. 1.00

01:33:59.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:34:00.000 Who the fuck do you think you are? 1.00

01:34:02.000 Who the fuck do you think you are? 1.00

01:34:03.000 Who wants to fuck you, you fucking idiot? 1.00

01:34:06.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:34:07.000 Meanwhile, they already fucked you. 1.00

01:34:08.000 Ha ha. 1.00

01:34:09.000 Rape. 0.99

01:34:10.000 Wait a minute. 0.90

01:34:11.000 I take away consent.

01:34:12.000 Take away consent after the fact.

01:34:14.000 I've taken away consent.

01:34:15.000 Withdraw. 0.88

01:34:15.000 The troll women have spoken. 0.88

01:34:20.000 Standing on the fucking cliff with a horn. 1.00

01:34:23.000 We found another one! 1.00

01:34:26.000 Bring him! 0.78

01:34:27.000 What, are you having fun?

01:34:28.000 What, are you living your life by your own rules?

01:34:30.000 That's it. 1.00

01:34:31.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:34:32.000 People don't like that, I guess. 1.00

01:34:34.000 Do you think, in retrospect, that this whole firing was a good thing?

01:34:37.000 Yes, in retrospect.

01:34:38.000 At first, I was freaked out.

01:34:42.000 It was just before 4th of July. 0.98

01:34:44.000 4th of July weekend, I had this big fucking party, and now I gotta entertain people as I'm just bummed. 0.99

01:34:52.000 Just completely bummed. 1.00

01:34:54.000 And another thing, when we talk about how dumb people are, and you realize how stupid a lot of the masses are by reading their comments on the internet... 0.99

01:35:03.000 I took a picture the next day after I got fired, because it was the big party, of my buddy Carlton, who's a black guy. 0.99

01:35:09.000 And we were in the pool and stuff, and I had my arm around him, and I'm doing a thumbs up, and I'm like, hey, look!

01:35:14.000 Look!

01:35:15.000 People thought I was seriously...

01:35:17.000 They said, you know, the fact that he posts a picture with a black guy to try to let us know, like, look, I have a black friend. 0.91

01:35:23.000 I was like, but that was the goof! 0.74

01:35:25.000 I was parodying that!

01:35:27.000 Duh! 1.00

01:35:27.000 You fucking... 1.00

01:35:29.000 Duh. 1.00

01:35:29.000 It doesn't matter even if they know you were doing that. 1.00

01:35:32.000 They still want to call you out on it because it gives them a license to be upset.

01:35:36.000 Yes.

01:35:37.000 People are always looking online, especially, for a moment where they're allowed to be mad.

01:35:42.000 Isn't that great?

01:35:43.000 Yeah.

01:35:44.000 They want to be mad. 0.99

01:35:45.000 Because life sucks. 0.99

01:35:45.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:35:46.000 For most people.

01:35:47.000 Look, it doesn't suck. 1.00

01:35:48.000 For Anthony, you got a fucking beautiful house. 1.00

01:35:50.000 You make money. 1.00

01:35:52.000 You got your own show now.

01:35:53.000 But for most people, they're trapped in a job that's unfulfilling. 1.00

01:35:57.000 They have to listen to a boss or a fucking company. 0.97

01:36:00.000 That's probably way more restrictive than what Sirius was giving you a hard time for. 0.99

01:36:04.000 And there's no fucking hope in sight. 0.99

01:36:07.000 So anytime they get a chance to vent this anger, this frustration, this existential angst at the very life they're fucking trapped in with a majority of your time, all day, all week, is doing shit you hate. 0.99

01:36:20.000 That's the majority of your life. 1.00

01:36:22.000 Fuck this guy! 1.00

01:36:23.000 He thinks he's gonna trick us with his black friend! 1.00

01:36:27.000 Fuck him! 1.00

01:36:31.000 You did describe a great bad life. 1.00

01:36:33.000 That's a lot of people's lives.

01:36:35.000 It was mine until I was about 35 years old.

01:36:38.000 It was terrible. 0.99

01:36:39.000 And then, like, last night, we're flying here in a beautiful new fucking Airbus. 0.98

01:36:46.000 And the TV is as big as most people's house TVs were a few years back. 0.96

01:36:53.000 And I'm watching the new Planet of the Apes.

01:36:55.000 And I'm sitting in a fully reclined seat...

01:36:58.000 Yeah.

01:37:21.000 For a second.

01:37:23.000 And then it all started gelling where I was, what I was doing. 0.95

01:37:29.000 And if I'm getting pissed because my fucking first run movie at 35,000 feet on my way to... 0.94

01:37:39.000 Joe Rogan's show in Los Angeles isn't working properly. 0.96

01:37:42.000 Not even not working.

01:37:44.000 Just not working good enough for me.

01:37:46.000 I should have thrown myself out of the plane, so I didn't allow myself.

01:37:49.000 I actually chuckled at myself for starting to get mad. 0.96

01:37:53.000 You checked your white privilege.

01:37:54.000 I did check my white privilege, which I implore all of you to do, please.

01:37:59.000 Check your privilege.

01:38:00.000 Check your privilege, people.

01:38:01.000 That's a big thing that they say on college campuses today.

01:38:03.000 Of Of course they do.

01:38:04.000 The young kids are being indoctrinated by the hard left that's running these colleges, and the hard left wants you to check your privilege.

01:38:10.000 Check your privilege. 0.99

01:38:12.000 I still don't know what it is, and I've said what I believe white privilege is, and I've gotten a lot of shit for it. 0.99

01:38:20.000 What do you believe white privilege is? 0.97

01:38:21.000 I think white privilege is something that isn't a privilege.

01:38:25.000 It's been earned over the course of many years.

01:38:29.000 How dare you?

01:38:29.000 I know.

01:38:31.000 It's something where if you act a certain way, do certain things, you get certain prizes for that.

01:38:42.000 Certain gifts.

01:38:43.000 You don't get followed in a store. 0.99

01:38:45.000 Life's not a fucking carnival. 0.99

01:38:47.000 I know. 0.99

01:38:48.000 I know.

01:38:49.000 But, you know, to be followed in a store, and let me tell you something. 0.98

01:38:52.000 When I was a kid, when five of me and my friends and everything would go in at eight, nine years old to a candy store, we got followed in the candy store because the fucking guy knew that people that were stealing candy were the eight-year-old fucking kids that would come into his store. 0.96

01:39:08.000 So he followed us to make sure we didn't steal. 0.97

01:39:11.000 Uh...

01:39:12.000 When people go into stores now and they're followed, they look at the people that have been profiled, yes profiled, over the course of their loss prevention, and say, alright, make sure you keep an eye on these people.

01:39:26.000 We can't individually interview everyone that comes in and find out what their character is.

01:39:31.000 So let's just take the slice of people...

01:39:35.000 That have been doing the most damage to our inventory and follow them around a little.

01:39:40.000 Or, you know, follow them with the camera in the back room. 0.99

01:39:42.000 Black people. 0.96

01:39:44.000 Yeah, because that's pretty much where we have kind of fallen there in the theft of... 0.98

01:39:50.000 Of goods at stores. 0.97

01:39:52.000 I wonder what people want people to do that do live in places where they do get robbed all the time by black people. 1.00

01:39:59.000 I wonder what they expect the store owners to actually do. 0.90

01:40:02.000 I don't know.

01:40:03.000 Just ignore it.

01:40:05.000 Let it happen.

01:40:05.000 Just let it happen.

01:40:07.000 Get robbed. 0.98

01:40:08.000 Do you remember those Korean store owners that were fighting back against the Reginald Denny shit during the riots and the Rodney King days? 0.99

01:40:08.000 Get robbed. 0.99

01:40:17.000 Broke out some guns.

01:40:18.000 Dude, they had to. 0.98

01:40:19.000 I mean, there was some crazy shit going on where they had nothing to do with any verdict. 0.98

01:40:23.000 No, no. 0.99

01:40:24.000 But it was a free ride.

01:40:26.000 It was a free ride.

01:40:28.000 And we got to see a very unique and almost...

01:40:34.000 Almost, like, accepted form of racial violence during that time, where, like, people were literally targeting white people and attacking them, and no one was being outraged.

01:40:49.000 No, there was an excuse for it.

01:40:50.000 There was a, well, you got under They understand the frustration.

01:40:54.000 They're very angry, very frustrated as they lob that planter over that man's head who's laying on the ground.

01:40:54.000 They're very mad.

01:41:01.000 Oh, here comes the toilet bowl lid and there's a lot of blood on the street.

01:41:05.000 But the anger is really the story we have to look at here.

01:41:09.000 It was accepted completely.

01:41:11.000 And I think we saw...

01:41:13.000 Sanctioned, even, maybe.

01:41:14.000 Yes, sanctioned.

01:41:14.000 And we see a lot of stuff that happened in Ferguson.

01:41:19.000 What is this?

01:41:20.000 It's the LA riots.

01:41:22.000 Yeah, the looting.

01:41:22.000 That was crazy.

01:41:24.000 Looting is a weird thing.

01:41:25.000 Like, oh, something went wrong.

01:41:27.000 It's time to steal TVs. 1.00

01:41:29.000 Yes, let's steal some shit. 1.00

01:41:31.000 I need a couch. 1.00

01:41:31.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:41:32.000 Yeah, and it's a very festive thing.

01:41:34.000 Like, the reason that the looting goes on is very grim, and it's usually a very awful thing that happened.

01:41:42.000 But then the looting itself, everyone's smiling.

01:41:45.000 Like, they come out, whoa!

01:41:46.000 They're, like, holding stuff up.

01:41:48.000 No one's mad anymore.

01:41:49.000 Maybe it helps.

01:41:50.000 Maybe it helps.

01:41:51.000 It alleviates tension.

01:41:52.000 Yes.

01:41:53.000 It's a real tension breaker.

01:41:54.000 He's dancing.

01:41:55.000 He's just dancing around.

01:41:56.000 Is he looting, though?

01:41:56.000 He seems to be just dancing.

01:41:58.000 Yeah, they're stealing this huge drill.

01:42:00.000 What is that?

01:42:01.000 It's like a bandsaw.

01:42:02.000 It's like a bandsaw, right?

01:42:04.000 What are you going to do with a bandsaw?

01:42:06.000 They're dragging it on the ground. 1.00

01:42:07.000 What the fuck? 0.99

01:42:08.000 It's always been my dream to make little wooden whales. 1.00

01:42:14.000 Try selling that.

01:42:16.000 Yeah, where are you gonna get a bandsaw?

01:42:18.000 Yo, man, can you guys deliver it?

01:42:20.000 No, you gotta come get it, homie. 1.00

01:42:23.000 We dragged that shit 15 blocks. 1.00

01:42:26.000 They're throwing up gang signs where they're stealing. 1.00

01:42:28.000 Gang signs.

01:42:29.000 That's pretty good.

01:42:30.000 L.A. riots.

01:42:31.000 But I will never forget that photo or the video rather of Reginald Denny getting pulled out of his truck and then that guy took that brick and just smashed him in the head with it.

01:42:41.000 And then did a little victory dance.

01:42:42.000 Yeah.

01:42:43.000 And Reginald Denny was just a truck driver.

01:42:45.000 He didn't do anything.

01:42:46.000 No.

01:42:47.000 He didn't beat anybody.

01:42:47.000 He wasn't a cop.

01:42:49.000 He just happened to be white.

01:42:50.000 I'll tell you what he did wrong.

01:42:50.000 Stepped on the brakes.

01:42:51.000 Yeah.

01:42:51.000 That Yeah, right?

01:42:57.000 Double clutching right through there.

01:42:59.000 Don't you have a lock?

01:43:00.000 What are you doing?

01:43:00.000 Yeah, what are you doing getting out?

01:43:02.000 This is the video.

01:43:03.000 Oh, there it is. 1.00

01:43:04.000 Awful, awful shit. 1.00

01:43:06.000 I remember watching this live. 1.00

01:43:07.000 Poor bastard. 1.00

01:43:09.000 Taked way earlier. 1.00

01:43:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:43:12.000 See how the tape goes.

01:43:12.000 They just...

01:43:13.000 When things go bad and people start rioting, they just completely lose their humanity. 0.99

01:43:19.000 It's something that happens to human beings when you get too much of us together and they're mad about something and chaos is going on, like people are smashing shit and stealing shit. 0.99

01:43:19.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:43:29.000 It's just all the rules go out the window.

01:43:31.000 Everybody accepts it.

01:43:32.000 They call it a mob mentality, but I think it's more than just a mental thing.

01:43:36.000 I actually think there's a physical...

01:43:39.000 Like pheromones, or there's something that's thrown off by people in a group like that that just makes everyone rabid.

01:43:46.000 Yeah, look at everybody chasing after the cars, and the cars are slowing down.

01:43:50.000 Like, some cars, they're leaving alone, but other cars have white people in them. 0.89

01:43:53.000 So they're chasing after the white people, I assume. 0.72

01:43:53.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.72

01:43:56.000 I would assume, too.

01:43:58.000 Did Reginald Danny's truck just break down or something?

01:44:01.000 Seems like it, doesn't it?

01:44:01.000 Oh.

01:44:03.000 Because it doesn't seem like he would just stop right there.

01:44:04.000 Maybe people were in the crosswalk.

01:44:06.000 You know, you don't know.

01:44:08.000 I don't think you think this is going to happen to you.

01:44:10.000 So maybe he stopped to let people go through the crosswalk.

01:44:14.000 Yeah, right?

01:44:15.000 Something.

01:44:16.000 Oh, boy. 0.82

01:44:18.000 They beat the fuck out of that, dude. 0.70

01:44:20.000 They really did. 0.72

01:44:21.000 And he was driving.

01:44:23.000 He was driving real slow.

01:44:24.000 So I told him...

01:44:26.000 That moved to the side to have a seat if I could take him to the hospital.

01:44:30.000 But did you pick him up off the street all by yourself and get him See, this is the other part that they have to do.

01:44:37.000 It's like, well, let's show who took them to the hospital.

01:44:40.000 A black gentleman.

01:44:42.000 Let's show that everybody that they're not all bad.

01:44:46.000 Did this last more than one day?

01:44:48.000 I can't remember.

01:44:49.000 Oh, yeah.

01:44:49.000 Yeah, this went on.

01:44:50.000 There were many deaths, too.

01:44:52.000 Well, Anthony Bourdain's show was fascinating about this because they talked to the Korean folks.

01:44:58.000 They talked to some of the people that had...

01:45:01.000 Shops that had been raided.

01:45:03.000 I feel sorry for your mother. 1.00

01:45:04.000 Koreatown got fucked. 1.00

01:45:05.000 Koreatown got fucked, but there was a line of cops protecting Beverly Hills. 1.00

01:45:10.000 Right, yeah. 0.99

01:45:11.000 There was cop cars literally down the streets. 1.00

01:45:14.000 Whoa, this is fucking nuts, man. 0.99

01:45:17.000 This is Koreatown. 1.00

01:45:17.000 Well, wouldn't you? 1.00

01:45:18.000 Look at that.

01:45:19.000 Everything's on fire in Korea. 1.00

01:45:20.000 Yeah, well, they were also getting mad at Koreans that were on top of the roofs with rifles. 0.99

01:45:24.000 People had shotguns and shit, and they were protecting their businesses. 0.65

01:45:28.000 It's like, yeah, they were protecting Beverly Hills and the wealthy areas, but it's like, what do you put in your safe in your own house? 1.00

01:45:34.000 You don't put, you know, fucking candy bars in there. 0.99

01:45:37.000 You put your valuables in there. 1.00

01:45:38.000 It's the same thing.

01:45:39.000 They want the valuable stuff protected.

01:45:42.000 Yeah, and the people that are spending all the money, paying all the taxes.

01:45:46.000 Exactly.

01:45:47.000 It's just a larger scale of your own personal little life.

01:45:51.000 You want to protect your investment. 0.99

01:45:53.000 What do you think would happen if the fucking raids and the people that were going crazy, if they went into Beverly Hills, start pulling people out of their houses and shit? 0.99

01:46:03.000 You would have absolutely seen the National Guard start just shooting people like it was Vietnam. 0.99

01:46:09.000 Probably, right?

01:46:10.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:46:11.000 That just would have been unheard of. 0.99

01:46:13.000 Isn't that fucked, though? 1.00

01:46:14.000 The Korean people can get fucked over like that, but the moment they move into the Jewish neighborhoods and start yanking people out of their houses in the white neighborhoods. 1.00

01:46:23.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:46:24.000 That would be crazy.

01:46:25.000 Again, though, it's, you know, it's...

01:46:27.000 It's cost-effective to protect the wealthy neighborhoods. 0.99

01:46:32.000 It's still fucked, though. 0.96

01:46:33.000 You know, you're using your police resources to protect your other resources. 0.99

01:46:37.000 There's a price on everything.

01:46:39.000 Do you feel like now, when situations come up, a racial situation, you have more freedom?

01:46:45.000 You don't have this, like...

01:46:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:47:06.000 Incident of pure racism, pulling a guy out because he's white, hit him in the head with a brick. 0.98

01:47:11.000 You're being racist because you're commenting on that and not taking it all into perspective. 0.74

01:47:15.000 What about the context, Anthony, of their life in the disenfranchised Los Angeles neighborhood?

01:47:20.000 Exactly, but then we have a nice debate, a nice little talk about it.

01:47:27.000 That can be done.

01:47:28.000 Why should one side be silenced?

01:47:31.000 And I do feel more freedom to talk openly and not have to walk on so many eggshells when I'm trying to present a point. 0.98

01:47:39.000 Well, that was what the most fucked up thing about you getting fired was. 0.94

01:47:42.000 You didn't even have an opportunity to go on the radio and talk about it. 0.98

01:47:46.000 No.

01:47:47.000 And one of the things that I've talked about on the show before a hundred times, like... 0.99

01:47:50.000 Your style of talking, which is entertaining, is to rant and say crazy shit and swear a lot, and that's exactly what you were doing. 0.99

01:48:00.000 That's what I was doing. 0.94

01:48:02.000 I guess, like you said, if you put quotes around it and print it, it doesn't look...

01:48:06.000 It looks a lot different.

01:48:06.000 Yeah, it looks different.

01:48:07.000 But if you were on the show, and you were doing that, and then Jimmy Norton starts doing Uncle Paul...

01:48:13.000 Yes, exactly.

01:48:14.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:48:16.000 It was nothing different than I'd done on their very airwaves for many years. 0.96

01:48:20.000 And for them to throw me out over that, it was ridiculous. 0.77

01:48:24.000 It made no sense whatsoever.

01:48:25.000 And to demand an apology.

01:48:28.000 Who demanded an apology?

01:48:30.000 Well, there have been some people who have demanded apologies.

01:48:33.000 Some people that think I should have apologized, let's say.

01:48:36.000 Not so much demanded them, but think I should have apologized.

01:48:39.000 And I have always stuck to the point that if I do something wrong, I have and will apologize for it.

01:48:45.000 I was assaulted.

01:48:48.000 In New York City.

01:48:49.000 I was hit about the head.

01:48:51.000 If people don't know the story, there are certain people I'm sure that are listening to this that don't know the story.

01:48:56.000 Sure.

01:48:57.000 So let's give them the whole brief of the story.

01:48:59.000 I was out.

01:49:00.000 I was taking some pictures, early morning pictures of Manhattan.

01:49:05.000 And I posted all the pictures that I took.

01:49:07.000 I wasn't just creeping girls like some people said.

01:49:10.000 Manhattan's an amazing place at four in the morning.

01:49:13.000 It's a giant lit up city with barely anyone in it.

01:49:17.000 And the people that are in it are a little off, including myself, because I was there with a camera.

01:49:22.000 And I was taking pictures.

01:49:23.000 It's amazing.

01:49:25.000 And it's not groundbreaking.

01:49:27.000 I mean, other people have taken amazing pictures of New York City very early in the morning.

01:49:32.000 So I was doing that, and I took pictures of a few of the ladies of the evening that walk around, strippers that were leaving some of the strip clubs, hookers, whatever. 1.00

01:49:40.000 They're hot.

01:49:41.000 It looks great as they're walking on a wet street with the lights behind them and a nice shallow depth of field. 0.99

01:49:47.000 I mean, it just looks like a fucking amazing picture. 0.97

01:49:51.000 So I took a picture of this one... 1.00

01:49:53.000 A woman that was walking down the street, and again, it was very early in the morning, very quiet, and it's a big fucking Canon camera with my iPhone, and she hears the shutter clicking and turns around to look, and she goes, uh-uh, you white motherfucker, don't you take my fucking picture! 1.00

01:50:09.000 And she's coming at me, you know? 1.00

01:50:11.000 So I rattle off a couple of more pictures, because she's coming at me, and just punches me right in the face. 1.00

01:50:17.000 Just punches me right in the face.

01:50:18.000 No ifs, ands, or buts. 1.00

01:50:20.000 And I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? 0.99

01:50:23.000 Don't take my picture. 1.00

01:50:24.000 I was like, well, you could have said that.

01:50:26.000 So we get into a little argument about that. 1.00

01:50:28.000 I call her cunt. 1.00

01:50:30.000 And she just keeps hitting me. 1.00

01:50:32.000 And now out of the woodwork, like fucking Walking Dead, five black guys just start kind of... 0.99

01:50:38.000 Kind of walking around, looking at the scene. 0.99

01:50:40.000 And one says, you best not touch that girl. 0.93

01:50:43.000 And I had my hand up.

01:50:45.000 I was just using my forearm to kind of let her bang into.

01:50:50.000 I wasn't pushing her away or anything. 0.99

01:50:51.000 I just was trying to keep her at a distance so I could see her fucking hands. 1.00

01:50:56.000 And she just was punching me in the side of the head. 1.00

01:50:59.000 It didn't hurt, but it was annoying me that she was doing this. 1.00

01:51:04.000 And then that's when I said one of the most embarrassing things I think I ever said. 0.92

01:51:08.000 I said to one of the black guys, I said, back off, this ain't your show! 1.00

01:51:16.000 I'm Sergeant Barnes. 0.97

01:51:19.000 Back off this ain't your show.

01:51:21.000 This ain't your show.

01:51:22.000 Yeah, I'm Sergeant Barnes from Platoon.

01:51:23.000 Did you drop any N-bombs?

01:51:25.000 No, no.

01:51:26.000 That's one thing.

01:51:27.000 And I didn't drop any in any of my tweets or anything.

01:51:30.000 I just didn't.

01:51:31.000 So who said that you did?

01:51:32.000 Someone said that you did drop an N-bomb.

01:51:34.000 There were plenty of people that said I did.

01:51:36.000 Yeah, people. 1.00

01:51:37.000 More shit gets made up in those situations. 1.00

01:51:40.000 So I said, I'm going to get a fucking cop. 1.00

01:51:44.000 And she goes, get a cop. 1.00

01:51:46.000 I'll just say you were sexually harassing me. 0.60

01:51:48.000 So now I'm like, I'm looking around.

01:51:49.000 There wasn't any cops.

01:51:51.000 I wasn't exactly in Times Square.

01:51:53.000 I was a little north of Times Square at that point. 1.00

01:51:56.000 And I'm waiting to see a cop car just to flag him down and tell him that this fucking bitch is pounding me on the side of the head. 1.00

01:52:03.000 But no cops showed up. 1.00

01:52:04.000 So we kind of break up a little bit.

01:52:07.000 And I just start walking back to my apartment.

01:52:09.000 And I'm pissed.

01:52:10.000 And now within minutes of what happened, I'm actually communicating to the outside world. 1.00

01:52:16.000 Which years ago, you would have time to cool off, and then you'd maybe get on your phone at home, call your friend and say, this fucking bitch was smacking me in the head. 1.00

01:52:23.000 But now minutes after, I still got the adrenaline going. 1.00

01:52:26.000 I'm angry.

01:52:27.000 I'm pissed that this happened, and I'm voicing it on Twitter.

01:52:30.000 And this is what got me in trouble.

01:52:32.000 And I say, I think my biggest crime here...

01:52:35.000 Was the fact that I was talking about the incident and how pissed I was, and then I also added a little social commentary to the same conversation.

01:52:43.000 So people put both of those together and got the impression I was talking about all black people. 0.98

01:52:47.000 Anthony said all black people are violent. 0.98

01:52:50.000 I said no. 0.99

01:52:50.000 I said there's a problem with violence in some segments of the black community, which has been addressed by black leaders, reverends, pastors, community leaders. 0.99

01:52:59.000 It's just been out there. 0.97

01:53:02.000 But you didn't check your white privilege.

01:53:04.000 I didn't check my white privilege and I brought it up that there was a problem.

01:53:08.000 I said, why did this woman jump instantly from zero to physical violence? 1.00

01:53:14.000 There wasn't a talk.

01:53:15.000 I mean, I could think of a lot of situations where I would take a picture and someone might go, hey, I don't want my picture taken.

01:53:21.000 And I'd be, okay, whatever. 0.95

01:53:22.000 Without them instantly coming and resolution number one is punch the person in the face. 0.98

01:53:29.000 That's one on the list. 0.95

01:53:31.000 It's astounding. 0.99

01:53:32.000 But she was probably a hooker, right? 1.00

01:53:34.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:53:35.000 I'm thinking she was a hooker. 1.00

01:53:37.000 Yeah, but I also took a picture of a white hooker, and it turned out to be a beautiful picture. 1.00

01:53:42.000 It was great. 0.99

01:53:43.000 It was amazing.

01:53:45.000 And she didn't punch me in the face, and she knew I was taking the picture, and she didn't mind. 0.99

01:53:50.000 I got a picture of a black hooker once, where she pulled her tit out while she's eating a meatball sub. 1.00

01:53:55.000 It's one of the best pictures I've ever taken in my life. 0.99

01:53:58.000 See if you can find it, Brian.

01:53:59.000 It must have been hung up somewhere.

01:54:01.000 Well, it's in my wall.

01:54:03.000 I took it with an old phone too, like a Motorola flip phone at the time.

01:54:08.000 It wasn't a very good camera.

01:54:10.000 Probably wasn't even a one megapixel camera.

01:54:12.000 But the pictures, it looks like fake.

01:54:14.000 It was the subject that really brought it.

01:54:17.000 You don't need good equipment when you have a great subject like that. 0.87

01:54:19.000 She's fat, she had a big giant tit, she was eating a meatball sub, and she wore a wig. 1.00

01:54:24.000 So all this was going on, and we're in downtown LA. It's like one of the best pictures I've ever taken in my life. 0.95

01:54:29.000 It sounds it.

01:54:31.000 And she was so happy, though.

01:54:32.000 She was so happy.

01:54:33.000 She didn't try to hit me at all.

01:54:35.000 Wow.

01:54:36.000 I just go, can I take a picture?

01:54:37.000 She goes, go ahead, baby. 0.80

01:54:38.000 And she pulls her tit out. 1.00

01:54:39.000 And I took the picture, and she had the sub in her hand. 0.99

01:54:42.000 She pulled her tit out. 0.94

01:54:44.000 That's great. 0.95

01:54:44.000 It was her idea. 0.95

01:54:45.000 See?

01:54:46.000 Good for her.

01:54:47.000 Yeah, nobody got hit.

01:54:48.000 I wasn't armed, though.

01:54:48.000 No one gets hit.

01:54:50.000 That's the other thing.

01:54:51.000 Yeah, that was the other thing that came up.

01:54:53.000 Well, SiriusXM fired me because they said it wasn't the racial thing.

01:54:57.000 They said it was the violent tone of some of my tweets. 1.00

01:55:02.000 And it was because I said, I fucking hope she mouths off to some homeboy like that and he shoots her in the face. 1.00

01:55:10.000 Because at that point, that's what I wanted. 1.00

01:55:10.000 That's what I said. 1.00

01:55:14.000 Because if this bitch is going to be just mouthing off and smacking people, I'm sure she's going to get her ass handed to her at some point if she mouths off to the wrong person. 1.00

01:55:23.000 I, on the other hand, didn't hit her back. 0.99

01:55:26.000 Like I said, I put my forearm up to just keep her from getting closer to me, but that was the only contact, and it was her banging against my arm saying, don't touch me, and punching me in the face. 1.00

01:55:37.000 So, the violent tone of my tweet is what they didn't like.

01:55:41.000 Meanwhile, yes, I am privileged to be able to exercise my actual right, Second Amendment right to bear arms and carry a concealed weapon.

01:55:53.000 In the city of New York.

01:55:54.000 Yeah, you're one of the very rare people. 0.99

01:55:56.000 I mean, if she wanted to punch some dude in the head that's not a cop and think, what are the odds this guy has a fucking license to carry a pistol? 0.99

01:56:06.000 Yeah, a legal license to carry a pistol. 0.99

01:56:08.000 How long did it take you to get that?

01:56:10.000 It was a good year, I guess.

01:56:11.000 A year and thousands of dollars.

01:56:13.000 And I had to fess up with every bit of record of my entire life, pretty much.

01:56:20.000 Like, here.

01:56:21.000 Here's my tax forms.

01:56:22.000 Here's anything I ever did, including a ticket and how it was resolved in 1988. Like a speeding ticket or like a parking ticket?

01:56:30.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:56:30.000 Like a parking ticket.

01:56:32.000 No, not parking ticket.

01:56:33.000 Speeding ticket.

01:56:34.000 Yeah.

01:56:34.000 Wow.

01:56:37.000 You just put it in front of them.

01:56:37.000 Anything.

01:56:39.000 Because if they find something you didn't include, they will say, whoop, nope!

01:56:44.000 So you're playing this weird puzzle game with them to try to get this.

01:56:49.000 And then you need a lawyer.

01:56:51.000 You can't go in there yourself. 0.98

01:56:52.000 Crazy.

01:56:53.000 So you've got to retain a lawyer for probably five Gs.

01:56:55.000 You need to get a lawyer to try to get a concealed carry permit?

01:56:58.000 A gun lawyer. 0.53

01:56:59.000 A gun lawyer. 0.53

01:57:00.000 Yeah.

01:57:01.000 There she is.

01:57:02.000 That's my girl.

01:57:03.000 That is fantastic. 0.98

01:57:04.000 We put a picture over her boobs, so it's legal. 0.98

01:57:06.000 Yeah, but I can make it out. 0.97

01:57:08.000 It's Ann Coulter on her... 0.99

01:57:08.000 It's Ann Coulter over her boobs. 0.99

01:57:10.000 Come on. 0.99

01:57:10.000 But look at that. 0.99

01:57:11.000 That is the greatest picture I've ever taken in my life.

01:57:13.000 That is a good one.

01:57:14.000 Wow.

01:57:14.000 That girl, she was a real woman, and she was happy.

01:57:17.000 She was laughing.

01:57:18.000 That is something.

01:57:20.000 Wow!

01:57:22.000 That's great.

01:57:23.000 I hate this, though.

01:57:24.000 Tracy Morgan. 1.00

01:57:25.000 And she's got a fucking meatball sandwich. 1.00

01:57:27.000 Oh, I do, too. 1.00

01:57:29.000 She has a meatball sandwich in her hand.

01:57:31.000 I mean, it's just an amazing picture.

01:57:32.000 Hey, she's got to eat. 0.97

01:57:34.000 What are you going to do?

01:57:34.000 Yeah.

01:57:35.000 It's just as good as a picture gets.

01:57:38.000 So it takes a long time, a lot of effort, and I think they bank on the fact that a lot of people aren't going to go to that length.

01:57:45.000 And they've turned down a lot of people.

01:57:49.000 Someone did an article a few years back on who they turned down, and it was a lot of people on the Mets and some radio personalities and some pretty big celebrities.

01:57:58.000 So what did you say?

01:57:59.000 Did you have to have a reason that you wanted it?

01:58:02.000 It's pretty good if you have a reason.

01:58:04.000 Personal protection, being famous.

01:58:07.000 Yeah, I get a lot of death threats.

01:58:10.000 Save them up. 0.96

01:58:11.000 Save them, have that.

01:58:13.000 You bring those in and stuff.

01:58:16.000 Like a threat assessment.

01:58:18.000 A threat assessment done by a security guy.

01:58:22.000 And yeah, you get these letters. 0.99

01:58:24.000 I get letters mailed directly to my house that have just all kinds of Nazi propaganda and, you know, just weird shit. 0.99

01:58:33.000 To your house. 0.99

01:58:34.000 To my house.

01:58:35.000 So they know where you live. 0.99

01:58:36.000 It's fucking 2014. You could find out where anyone lives now. 0.96

01:58:39.000 Yeah.

01:58:40.000 It's a secret.

01:58:41.000 When you have all this stuff, you bring it to them and you say, look, these are the threats that I get.

01:58:48.000 You let your lawyer do it.

01:58:49.000 You let the lawyer do it.

01:58:50.000 You give him everything he asks for.

01:58:52.000 The lawyer knows what to ask for.

01:58:54.000 It actually shows that you were a good risk to give that sort of a license to.

01:58:59.000 That's what they're doing.

01:59:00.000 Because you got hit.

01:59:02.000 By this woman, and you never once escalated.

01:59:05.000 I never even thought about it. 0.99

01:59:08.000 Because it's a huge fucking responsibility, having a gun. 0.99

01:59:12.000 It's something that you never not think about. 0.99

01:59:15.000 You need to know that you have this on you, and that kind of leads you into how you handle certain situations.

01:59:22.000 Right.

01:59:23.000 What would you have done if those guys, the five guys that were circling...

01:59:25.000 Back off! 1.00

01:59:27.000 It's not your show!

01:59:28.000 Yeah.

01:59:29.000 If those guys came in...

01:59:30.000 I'd have probably just tried to run.

01:59:32.000 Run into Times Square where there were cops.

01:59:35.000 Like, if...

01:59:36.000 If you're like...

01:59:38.000 If you're going, I have no way out of this. 1.00

01:59:40.000 I am fucked and I am going to die. 1.00

01:59:42.000 Then the gun comes out. 1.00

01:59:44.000 So you would run... 1.00

01:59:45.000 I would run my ass off. 0.99

01:59:46.000 And if they were chasing you and they grabbed a hold of you... 0.91

01:59:48.000 Once they grab a hold of you, again, yeah, it's...

01:59:52.000 Life-threatening situations are very fluid.

01:59:54.000 They change by the second. 0.86

01:59:56.000 So based on what's happening at that very second, if you use deadly physical force, you might be fucked or you might be justified. 0.96

02:00:04.000 That's how crazy it is to try to get a hypothetical involved. 0.96

02:00:10.000 The legality of it.

02:00:11.000 Yeah.

02:00:11.000 So if you're in that situation and she's hitting you and they close in and you just pull the gun out.

02:00:17.000 Yeah, that's brandishing.

02:00:19.000 It could work.

02:00:21.000 It could get you in more trouble. 1.00

02:00:23.000 Someone else could pull one out and go, yeah, I got one of those too, motherfucker. 1.00

02:00:26.000 You know, you're put in a weird situation where it absolutely is the last ditch effort to save your life, is that gun. 1.00

02:00:34.000 It's not your first fucking way to try to save yourself. 0.96

02:00:38.000 I'm not saying that your control is amazing because you didn't shoot her, but your control is pretty amazing that you didn't hit her. 0.99

02:00:44.000 You didn't do anything to harm her.

02:00:47.000 I didn't feel like I was really being injured.

02:00:50.000 She was hitting me with those kind of girl fists. 1.00

02:00:53.000 She had to make her fists weird because she had the long nails, so she really couldn't make a fist. 1.00

02:00:57.000 And then she was kind of doing the side of the head thing, like my ears a little and my cheek. 0.99

02:01:02.000 She wasn't really boxing me, you know?

02:01:05.000 So I never felt like I was on the verge of being knocked out or even injured. 0.86

02:01:11.000 So I was able to keep going and keep reassessing as it went on and realize I'm being kind of dumb staying in this situation.

02:01:20.000 Let me break this off and go home.

02:01:22.000 A lot of people, though, once they get hit, that switch flips, and then they hit back.

02:01:29.000 If it was a guy, I would have reacted in a second and hit him back.

02:01:33.000 And that sounds like, yeah, let me tell you, if it was a dude, I'd have been all over it. 0.54

02:01:36.000 I'd have at least thrown a punch or something. 0.88

02:01:40.000 Turned him into a woman. 0.99

02:01:40.000 But you can't punch a girl. 0.99

02:01:42.000 I don't know.

02:01:43.000 I would have loved to. 1.00

02:01:45.000 I'd have loved to punch her right in the fucking face. 1.00

02:01:48.000 Would have... 1.00

02:01:49.000 Made me so happy! 0.91

02:01:50.000 But would you have punched her in the face if she was punching you?

02:01:53.000 If she was like...

02:01:54.000 If she was really punching me? 0.99

02:01:55.000 Yeah, if she had like her knuckles up and she was fucking trying to knock you out. 1.00

02:01:59.000 Yeah, I would have to have done some defending. 0.97

02:02:03.000 So I... I don't know.

02:02:04.000 I give you a lot of what ifs.

02:02:05.000 That's a hard situation because when you're in it, you know...

02:02:09.000 Just from fighting, when you're in it, it's different than when you're thinking what you would do in a fight.

02:02:15.000 It's weird. 0.98

02:02:16.000 Everyone thinks it's going to be like some fucking action movie fight. 0.99

02:02:20.000 That's where leg kicks come in. 1.00

02:02:21.000 Because it's like you're not even hitting her in the head, just one solid one right above the knee, that meaty part, the shin.

02:02:29.000 Slam! 1.00

02:02:30.000 Slam! 1.00

02:02:30.000 Just one. 1.00

02:02:31.000 One fucking really hard leg kick. 1.00

02:02:34.000 Nobody expects that. 1.00

02:02:35.000 No, no.

02:02:36.000 A chick in high heels, too. 0.99

02:02:37.000 Boom! 0.99

02:02:38.000 Turn the hip over. 1.00

02:02:39.000 Get all that weight into it.

02:02:41.000 Then I might have to deal with her five little helpers there. 1.00

02:02:44.000 That would have been a problem.

02:02:46.000 True.

02:02:47.000 You did the right thing. 0.99

02:02:48.000 You know, I was really waiting for a fucking cop. 0.97

02:02:52.000 I would have loved to have had a cop drive by and go, hey, you know, but I had to just, you know, whatever, and kind of backed off and started walking home. 0.99

02:03:00.000 And tweeting.

02:03:01.000 And tweeting my anger that gets me fired.

02:03:04.000 And then the thought that I should apologize, that anyone that just...

02:03:19.000 Yeah.

02:03:22.000 It's an open forum of that.

02:03:24.000 It's just not a good forum for you.

02:03:26.000 No.

02:03:27.000 Because you're so animated and verbal.

02:03:28.000 But it should be.

02:03:30.000 I should be allowed to post just outrageous things, as should anybody.

02:03:35.000 And if it captures the mood I'm in, then deal with it.

02:03:39.000 This is what just happened to me. 1.00

02:03:41.000 Holy fuck. 0.99

02:03:42.000 Read this and you could really feel how Anthony feels right now. 1.00

02:03:46.000 Or this guy or that guy based on what that feels.

02:03:48.000 Why is that bad?

02:03:50.000 Why is it so bad?

02:04:08.000 How is that a bad thing?

02:04:09.000 How is that a firing offense?

02:04:11.000 Well, they just protect their brand.

02:04:14.000 That's all it is.

02:04:15.000 Any criticism that might be able to come their way might drop down their stock.

02:04:18.000 They're all about...

02:04:19.000 Brand of uncensored, unrestrained entertainment.

02:04:24.000 We're wild!

02:04:24.000 Look out, we're crazy!

02:04:25.000 We got how it stands! 1.00

02:04:26.000 We got Joel Osteen doing his religious show on the fucking channel now. 0.99

02:04:30.000 Who's that? 0.99

02:04:31.000 Who's Joel Osteen?

02:04:34.000 I don't know, but they've been playing commercials for him non-stop on Sirius.

02:04:34.000 Osteen?

02:04:38.000 He's one of these Christian church guys that get everybody to put their hands up in big arenas and close their eyes. 1.00

02:04:44.000 It's fucking insane. 1.00

02:04:47.000 It's insane. 0.99

02:04:48.000 And he now has a show on Sirius.

02:04:51.000 And I'm like, why?

02:04:53.000 He's a huckster. 1.00

02:04:54.000 Yes, a fucking huckster. 1.00

02:04:56.000 So they're stealing money from people by using this huckster, because I'm sure the huckster asks for donations. 1.00

02:04:56.000 One of those guys... 1.00

02:05:01.000 Of course!

02:05:02.000 Donations.

02:05:04.000 Arenas full of misguided people with their hands stretched up to God, their eyes closed, crying their eyes out. 1.00

02:05:12.000 Poor kids that you see standing next to these mutants thinking they're fucked, they don't even have a chance. 0.99

02:05:18.000 Did you ever see Jesus Camp? 0.99

02:05:19.000 What a great documentary that is.

02:05:19.000 Oh yeah.

02:05:21.000 That is a fantastic one.

02:05:22.000 The woman justifying the fact that they're training these kids because in Islamic countries they're training these kids to be jihadists. 1.00

02:05:30.000 Yeah.

02:05:30.000 So we need to do that with Christians.

02:05:32.000 Really?

02:05:33.000 Really?

02:05:33.000 What?

02:05:34.000 Do we? 1.00

02:05:34.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:05:35.000 Is that the solution? 1.00

02:05:37.000 We need Christian suicide bombers? 1.00

02:05:39.000 I played a clip of some church... 1.00

02:05:51.000 Oh, God!

02:06:05.000 And then I played some ISIS videos, and I'm like, see, this is what they're doing, and this is what we're doing, and I swear to you, I don't know what's more dangerous or horrific to watch.

02:06:17.000 It's like, that's our version of extremists, religious extremists. 0.82

02:06:25.000 It's just this, everything is God.

02:06:27.000 You ever hang out with somebody that is a born-again, like, completely into God and Jesus, and it's 24 hours a day?

02:06:35.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:06:35.000 Like, I'm into a lot of shit, and I'm really heavy into a lot of shit, but I take a break sometimes. 0.99

02:06:42.000 I love my radio-control helicopters. 0.99

02:06:44.000 You love Beavis?

02:06:45.000 I love Beavis, and we talked about Little Beav and stuff, but- You love guns?

02:06:49.000 I love guns!

02:06:51.000 But, you know what?

02:06:52.000 It's not 24 hours a day, but you hang out with...

02:06:55.000 That's why you can't hang out with people like that.

02:06:57.000 You'd like to think, like, hey, he's got his beliefs.

02:06:59.000 I'm cool with that.

02:07:00.000 We'll hang out, play some cards and stuff. 0.99

02:07:03.000 Jesus would have fucking folded a Jack 8 offsuit. 0.98

02:07:07.000 I... Have you ever seen Jim Caviezel? 0.99

02:07:10.000 Jim Caviezel, the guy who played The Passion of Christ, he played Jesus.

02:07:13.000 Oh, wow. 0.99

02:07:14.000 He's fucking all in. 1.00

02:07:16.000 All in for Jesus. 1.00

02:07:18.000 Was he before?

02:07:19.000 I don't know.

02:07:19.000 Or did doing the movie do it?

02:07:20.000 I don't know.

02:07:21.000 That was pretty intense.

02:07:22.000 One or the other.

02:07:23.000 He might have been before and he's more so now, but he does these interviews with these religious shows and starts talking about how it hurt him in Hollywood, his religious beliefs and his belief in Jesus and his belief in God.

02:07:35.000 Like, no, no, no.

02:07:36.000 This hurt you.

02:07:37.000 This right here what you're doing.

02:07:39.000 You're on a show, a wacky Jesus show, and you're talking about the impending apocalypse. 0.99

02:07:45.000 You're talking about Armageddon and the fucking Reckoning. 0.98

02:07:50.000 My favorite, though, in this day and age now, and it's relatively new for the... 0.99

02:07:56.000 Religious community is the people and dinosaurs. 1.00

02:07:59.000 That is my favorite thing.

02:08:01.000 Do you know what Sarah Palin said when she was running, she was in Alaska, she told a school teacher up there that dinosaurs and people live together.

02:08:09.000 And that she saw a photo on the internet of a footprint, a human footprint inside a dinosaur footprint.

02:08:09.000 Yeah.

02:08:14.000 Aw, that's nice.

02:08:15.000 At Disney World.

02:08:17.000 And the human said, dinosaur, why did you abandon me during my most needful times?

02:08:22.000 And the dinosaur said, no, that's when I was carrying you.

02:08:24.000 Aw.

02:08:25.000 Footprints.

02:08:26.000 Dinosaur footprints in the sand.

02:08:28.000 Hashtag dinosaur footprints.

02:08:29.000 Dinosaur footprints.

02:08:30.000 Has there been any pests, though, that have seen this street lady or any officers that go, you know, that looks like a girl we arrested a couple weeks ago, or nothing.

02:08:41.000 Nothing.

02:08:42.000 Surveillance footage or nothing.

02:08:44.000 People have said to me, I'm so surprised she hasn't come forward and tried to get something from this or anything, and I know she knows nothing. 1.00

02:08:51.000 She has no clue what she has wrought She's just some fucking dumb hooker who knows nothing about the news, knows nothing about what's going on in the world. 1.00

02:09:02.000 She knows money and dick. 1.00

02:09:05.000 That's it. 0.99

02:09:06.000 You know her corner now and her time that she works at. 0.91

02:09:09.000 They move around.

02:09:11.000 She might be dead. 0.93

02:09:13.000 She might be, you know, whatever.

02:09:14.000 Hookers don't last long. 1.00

02:09:15.000 Maybe some homie shot her in the face. 1.00

02:09:18.000 He's laughing about it. 0.65

02:09:18.000 Oh my goodness. 0.65

02:09:20.000 You're getting fired again now.

02:09:21.000 I know.

02:09:22.000 You should fire yourself for that. 0.99

02:09:23.000 Fire myself.

02:09:24.000 I was saying, since it's my own show now, the Anthony Cumia show, I'm never taking vacation.

02:09:31.000 I'm going to say something so outrageous and then suspend myself for a week. 0.99

02:09:35.000 That way I can go away, come back and go, fucking boss! 1.00

02:09:39.000 What an asshole! 1.00

02:09:40.000 What an asshole. 1.00

02:09:41.000 Do you have any desire to try to go back with Opie and Jimmy? 1.00

02:09:45.000 Do you try to talk them into your sweet side of the woods that you're in now?

02:09:49.000 Well, when they were still working out a contract, because their contract went until October.

02:09:58.000 Which they just re-signed.

02:09:59.000 So they did?

02:10:00.000 They did re-sign.

02:10:01.000 But I got fired in July.

02:10:02.000 So from July to October, there was a lot of speculation.

02:10:05.000 What's going to happen in October when the contract's up?

02:10:07.000 Are they going to re-sign those two?

02:10:08.000 Are they going to bring Anthony back? 1.00

02:10:10.000 Are they just going to tell everyone to go fuck themselves? 1.00

02:10:12.000 And Jimmy and Opie were under contract, so they couldn't just leave. 1.00

02:10:17.000 That's a fucking breach. 0.99

02:10:19.000 They couldn't just leave because I was fired. 1.00

02:10:23.000 But they did re-sign.

02:10:24.000 I think they...

02:10:26.000 They squeeze more money out of them.

02:10:27.000 I think it was very easy to take my money.

02:10:30.000 You could take half of my money, divvy that up, give it to Jimmy and Opie.

02:10:37.000 Now they pocket the rest. 0.97

02:10:39.000 Jimmy and Opie are like, hey, we got a raise, and the show's fucking on the air.

02:10:44.000 So, you know, I don't fault them for it at all, but I wasn't sure what was going to happen in October. 0.50

02:10:44.000 Right. 0.50

02:10:50.000 And that's why I was so adamant about getting this up and running so fast, as was Keith.

02:10:56.000 I was mourning on the couch for like two, three days after I was fired. 0.99

02:11:01.000 I'm like, fuck. 1.00

02:11:02.000 Oh, fuck, fuck. 1.00

02:11:03.000 And Keith comes over and he's like, asshole, you got a fucking studio in your basement. 1.00

02:11:07.000 That is so true. 1.00

02:11:07.000 Come on. 1.00

02:11:08.000 Chop, chop. 1.00

02:11:09.000 You already had it set up.

02:11:10.000 I was the crazy guy that was building the bomb shelter that all the neighbors pointed and laughed at that are banging on the door when the bombs are dropping.

02:11:19.000 Hey! 0.99

02:11:20.000 Let us in!

02:11:21.000 Have you thought about doing something in Manhattan, though?

02:11:24.000 Because it's probably tough to get people to come out to Long Island, right?

02:11:26.000 It is tougher to get people out on Long Island.

02:11:28.000 We've had to send cars for people.

02:11:30.000 But I've had a few pretty fun guests.

02:11:33.000 Andrew Dice Clay came out with his whole family. 1.00

02:11:37.000 Big fat fucking ass! 1.00

02:11:39.000 Yeah! 1.00

02:11:39.000 Oh, gosh! 1.00

02:11:42.000 And he demanded a super stretch limo.

02:11:45.000 He demanded?

02:11:46.000 Like it was the 80s.

02:11:47.000 Oh, that's awesome.

02:11:48.000 Like, who does that anymore?

02:11:49.000 Is this a white limo? 0.73

02:11:51.000 I ask for a black one. 0.98

02:11:52.000 I want the sunroof so I can poke out like the kid in Big. 1.00

02:11:58.000 That fucking Dyson's genius. 0.99

02:12:00.000 That is a genius Dyson person. 0.99

02:12:03.000 So he came over with his whole family and we did the good thing about this is it's my fucking house and I could put the cameras anywhere so I set the cameras up at the back table by the pool. 0.96

02:12:15.000 And we did the whole interview outside. 0.97

02:12:17.000 I got some really hot girl to attend bar, a little rollout bar by the pool, and she just kept coming over and serving drinks and stuff like that. 1.00

02:12:25.000 And it was just a fun, real relaxed hang.

02:12:28.000 The little waterfall of the pool and everything made a really cool atmosphere.

02:12:32.000 And then Colin Quinn, I had him over, and I set the cameras up by the bar that I got in the house.

02:12:38.000 So we were just sitting there at the bar, and it wasn't like...

02:12:41.000 It doesn't have to be in the studio, is what it is.

02:12:45.000 I want to have Kevin Pollack come in at some point and do that from the movie theater and play like an old Columbo episode and we'll just talk and then every so often refer to the show because he does an amazing Columbo.

02:13:00.000 It's hilarious. 0.99

02:13:01.000 And just fuck around like that. 1.00

02:13:02.000 My whole house has become... 1.00

02:13:04.000 Location.

02:13:05.000 I could do it anywhere.

02:13:06.000 The cameras, are they remote?

02:13:08.000 How do they work? 0.98

02:13:10.000 I have big, fucking expensive cameras, and I have lines that I just run down to the TriCaster in the studio. 0.97

02:13:18.000 They're not portable. 0.98

02:13:21.000 We're actually talking about doing high-def photos, or high-def video, but you prefer the TriCaster?

02:13:29.000 You think that's the way to go?

02:13:30.000 The one I have, I'm pretty satisfied with it.

02:13:33.000 I'm always looking into something, see what it is, but I like the control, I like the fact that I can roll video and audio, and it's very easy, integrates well with my computers and stuff.

02:13:45.000 Yeah, I kind of like it.

02:13:47.000 So you run it down to the TriCaster and someone else is working it down in the basement where the studio is?

02:13:53.000 And then you have the cameras that are just operated on long cords?

02:13:53.000 Yeah.

02:13:56.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:13:57.000 I run them right out, you know, through my oil burner closet, out in the vent, and I'm out in the backyard.

02:14:04.000 But we're having the whole thing set up where I have...

02:14:07.000 Sockets where I could plug them in and then we go outside.

02:14:10.000 There'll be a little bay where I could pop all my jacks in and get everything done.

02:14:15.000 That's nice.

02:14:16.000 Yeah, so I could put it anywhere.

02:14:18.000 But I am going to get a wireless also. 0.68

02:14:20.000 So it will put the video signal wirelessly so I could do something from the jacuzzi and shit like that.

02:14:26.000 Because we're having a... 0.98

02:14:27.000 Laney's bringing one of our porn stars very soon. 0.95

02:14:32.000 Yeah, so we're going to... 0.62

02:14:33.000 I want to do it. 1.00

02:14:34.000 Naked from the fucking jacuzzi. 1.00

02:14:36.000 Naked. 1.00

02:14:37.000 I want to just fucking turn on some bubbles so we can keep it family-friendly, sorta, except for her tits just sticking out there. 1.00

02:14:46.000 And then, you know, do it like that. 0.99

02:14:48.000 What do you stream it with?

02:14:50.000 What service do you use?

02:14:51.000 It goes through livestream, but then it also goes to servers that we have set up with some guys down in Tennessee.

02:14:59.000 It's very, very crazy.

02:15:01.000 The logistics of this was the hardest part, because I already had the studio built, pretty much.

02:15:07.000 It was weird, because it was a trial and error.

02:15:09.000 Over the course of years that I'd been building this, so I usually set something up, it worked, or I wanted something better.

02:15:15.000 I'm like, fuck, rip that out, put something else in. 0.81

02:15:18.000 And I was constantly building it, and it just looked like linguine all over the floor, wires everywhere. 0.98

02:15:23.000 And then when we got this rolling, we got some tech guys in there to kind of rip it apart and put it back together again the way it's supposed to be.

02:15:30.000 But for the most part, everything was already there, except for that, you know, we could do the show.

02:15:34.000 Now we've got to get it out to the masses.

02:15:37.000 And there were going to be a lot of people that needed to get this immediately, so we didn't want crash issues and things like that.

02:15:44.000 Are you having a hard time growing it because it's a pay service?

02:15:48.000 Because I'm sure you got an initial rush, right?

02:15:50.000 Right, right.

02:15:51.000 You get that initial rush, and then it's constantly growing, though.

02:15:55.000 Initially, it really took off.

02:15:58.000 Got a lot of subscribers.

02:16:00.000 And I needed to do a subscriber-based show because I knew I had an audience.

02:16:04.000 I was keeping it cheap enough.

02:16:06.000 I wasn't going to charge people a lot of money for the show.

02:16:09.000 What are you, like $6 a month or something like that?

02:16:11.000 It's $7 a month.

02:16:13.000 And then if you do six months, it goes down to like $6.

02:16:15.000 And then a year, it's like $5 a month.

02:16:18.000 So it's relatively cheap.

02:16:20.000 $60 a year.

02:16:21.000 It's like $0.48 an episode.

02:16:24.000 And those poor little African kids... 0.99

02:16:27.000 That takes like 50. So it's cheaper than feeding starving African children.

02:16:33.000 That's my slogan, by the way.

02:16:35.000 How rude.

02:16:36.000 That's my slogan.

02:16:37.000 How rude.

02:16:38.000 It is rude.

02:16:39.000 But I kept the cost low.

02:16:44.000 I kept the cost low and...

02:16:46.000 Are you happy with the growth?

02:16:49.000 It's growing well?

02:16:49.000 Yes, yeah.

02:16:50.000 I'm very happy with the way things... 0.98

02:16:53.000 I would love, you know, hey, here's another fucking 100,000 people. 0.96

02:16:58.000 Let's get them all on board right now. 0.97

02:17:00.000 But it takes time after you get that initial boost.

02:17:04.000 What made you decide to go subscription-based instead of decide to have advertisers?

02:17:09.000 Well, I'm kind of doing both. 1.00

02:17:12.000 Because I'm a greedy fuck. 0.99

02:17:13.000 So I do reads during the show. 1.00

02:17:17.000 I have a few live reads.

02:17:20.000 Just a couple, actually.

02:17:21.000 And then we have other ways that we're advertising on the website and things like that that aren't quite...

02:17:28.000 But we also have the ability with the video to pop up those intrusive little things like you see on TBS. Coming up, Seinfeld!

02:17:36.000 Those can be sold.

02:17:39.000 The video screen behind me with a logo.

02:17:41.000 And the great thing that the advertisers like is they can send videos of their stuff over and play it as I'm doing the read.

02:17:48.000 And most of them don't care what I do.

02:17:50.000 So we got this guy, Dale Bondanza.

02:17:54.000 He does this dalebondanza.com and he's this... 1.00

02:17:57.000 I'm a former fat guy that got skinny and he calls himself a former fat fuck. 0.99

02:18:01.000 But I just decided to, you know, hey, it's Dale Bond Danza! 0.99

02:18:05.000 It's an extravidanza!

02:18:07.000 Based on the old Tony Danza bit from years ago.

02:18:10.000 And he loves it.

02:18:11.000 Like, they just...

02:18:12.000 The advertisers know, and I'm not tied to them.

02:18:15.000 They know if I do something they don't like, that I could just say, well, later.

02:18:20.000 I forgot about that Tony Danza bit. 0.99

02:18:22.000 You fucking killed me once. 0.99

02:18:25.000 There was an audio of this old lady who was in love with Tony Danza. 1.00

02:18:32.000 And you were talking about getting her into the green room.

02:18:35.000 She was online for the Tony Danza talk show that was on for a week or two.

02:18:39.000 And she was online waiting outside at one of the studios in Manhattan.

02:18:44.000 And E-Rock went down with a phone...

02:18:48.000 Welcome to my show!

02:19:03.000 So you enjoy the show?

02:19:04.000 Did you like me on Taxi?

02:19:06.000 And things like that.

02:19:07.000 And then it started being like, well, I could use some relaxation in my dressing room.

02:19:12.000 How about you come back when you come in and, you know, maybe you give Tony a massage?

02:19:16.000 And she's laughing, like, oh, I would do that. 0.99

02:19:19.000 And then it got to the point where it's like, you know, I could use a handjob or something. 0.81

02:19:23.000 And they never broke. 0.60

02:19:25.000 They were always like, oh, oh, oh, oh.

02:19:27.000 They so didn't want to be disillusioned by their celebrity...

02:19:33.000 A crush.

02:19:35.000 They didn't want to think that he was a perv. 0.65

02:19:37.000 Did they ever find out that it was Jew? 0.85

02:19:40.000 No, not those people.

02:19:41.000 The people at the Tony Danza show did.

02:19:44.000 And what did they do?

02:19:45.000 They started having security walk the line and E-Rock's picture was put up.

02:19:52.000 Yeah.

02:19:52.000 Wanted.

02:19:53.000 Do not let this man near the people coming in.

02:19:55.000 I forgot about that. 0.99

02:19:56.000 That was one of the funniest fucking things I've ever heard on the radio. 0.99

02:19:59.000 That was a good one. 0.98

02:20:00.000 I parked somewhere, and I was crying laughing, and I had to go inside for a meeting, and I sat in my car for like an extra ten minutes just listening to that.

02:20:08.000 Yeah.

02:20:09.000 There was one point where I said something, and everyone knew what the next line was, and I was like, Oh, hold on to your hats, kids.

02:20:15.000 Here it comes.

02:20:16.000 Yeah.

02:20:18.000 And all the listeners are like, yes, we know it's coming! 0.99

02:20:22.000 That was some funny shit. 0.99

02:20:24.000 We used to be, and that's what XM was. 0.99

02:20:28.000 We were at XM radio with that.

02:20:30.000 When the merger, ha ha ha ha, merger happened.

02:20:34.000 That's like when, you remember when Germany merged with Poland?

02:20:37.000 Ha ha ha ha!

02:20:39.000 Yeah, the merger happened with Sirius. 0.96

02:20:42.000 They completely took over and did away with all the people at XM that were show-friendly and things like that, and just put us in their building instead of the building we were in, where we were able to go out on the street and just do fun shit.

02:20:58.000 We did Box of Cocks that day, where we put a... 0.97

02:21:02.000 A box. 1.00

02:21:03.000 We lined it with gay porn and just dildos in it and fake rubber dicks. 1.00

02:21:10.000 And then we closed the box and put free kittens, please take, give them a home and left it in the middle of the sidewalk. 0.99

02:21:18.000 And then we just, and we didn't even have a video.

02:21:21.000 We just had audio of like, I think Danny was down on the street.

02:21:24.000 We were upstairs.

02:21:25.000 We were watching out the window, watching people walk by going, oh, she's looking at, she's looking at the box.

02:21:30.000 And then they'd open the box to see if kittens were in there and the reaction was hilarious.

02:21:35.000 And we were doing this on radio.

02:21:36.000 There wasn't even a video to it.

02:21:38.000 And we were just describing it.

02:21:39.000 And the fact that we were laughing so hard, people really could kind of get what was happening.

02:21:44.000 And they just stopped all that with Sirius.

02:21:46.000 So what kind of conversations did they have with you guys as far as what you could and couldn't get away with?

02:21:51.000 That was just it.

02:21:52.000 Nothing.

02:21:52.000 They never had conversations with us when we would ask.

02:21:56.000 It was always this weird...

02:21:58.000 They'd point to the ceiling and talk about the people upstairs.

02:22:02.000 They'll be like, yeah, well, you know, they think. 0.99

02:22:05.000 And I'm like, who the fuck are you pointing at? 0.98

02:22:07.000 Like, I want a name. 0.99

02:22:09.000 I want someone to talk to and say, how can we do this?

02:22:12.000 Not that we can't do something.

02:22:14.000 Please work with us and say, how can we do it?

02:22:17.000 Maybe.

02:22:17.000 Well, we gotta, you know, run it through up the old flagpole and run it through this and we'll green light that as we skylight this and get...

02:22:26.000 Just middle management bullshit that would shine us on every day and we'd realize months and months would go by and we'd go, you know, we haven't done anything.

02:22:36.000 We haven't gone out to do an appearance. 0.96

02:22:38.000 We haven't done a poker tournament.

02:22:40.000 We wanted to do a cruise.

02:22:41.000 We wanted to do a big O&A cruise.

02:22:43.000 Promoted a year in advance. 0.99

02:22:45.000 A cruise ship with all the comics and fans and fucking Q&A's and shit on stage on a cruise ship. 1.00

02:22:53.000 5,000 fucking people! 1.00

02:22:54.000 And do that. 1.00

02:22:55.000 And Sirius came up to us and said...

02:22:58.000 Yeah, that's great.

02:22:59.000 We want a million dollars up front to allow you to do this.

02:23:03.000 What?

02:23:04.000 Yeah, because it was going to be done with the same promotion company that did our virus tour and everything.

02:23:08.000 So they came to us.

02:23:10.000 Sirius wasn't involved at all.

02:23:11.000 It was going to be sold and that, and everyone was going to make money.

02:23:15.000 And if Sirius had a notion to sell, they would be able to sell that and make money off of it.

02:23:21.000 Instead of shaking down the talent to give them a million dollars Upfront to allow us to do a gig that would be huge.

02:23:31.000 They wanted you guys to give them a million dollars.

02:23:34.000 One million dollars.

02:23:36.000 What was the profit potential for this?

02:23:38.000 It was a lot less with a million dollars up front.

02:23:42.000 Just serious.

02:23:44.000 It was going to be pretty lucrative.

02:23:47.000 Pretty lucrative.

02:23:48.000 But to that extent, and just the nerve...

02:23:53.000 Of your company coming to you and saying, we want to shake you down for a million bucks to allow you to do this. 0.99

02:23:58.000 It's fucking mafia tactics. 0.99

02:24:01.000 And there's an ability for them to make money on an appearance like that. 1.00

02:24:07.000 You sell the shit out of it. 0.97

02:24:08.000 You sell with the cruise line. 0.98

02:24:10.000 You do this.

02:24:11.000 I don't know the ins and outs, but I know in terrestrial radio, when we used to do appearances, it wasn't coming out of our pocket.

02:24:11.000 Whatever.

02:24:18.000 That's unbelievable.

02:24:19.000 A million dollars.

02:24:20.000 A million bucks. 1.00

02:24:22.000 Like fucking Dr. Evil. 1.00

02:24:24.000 Are they just dying on the vine?

02:24:28.000 It's easy for me to say, based on the fact that I was thrown out of there, to say, yes, they are!

02:24:33.000 Like we were talking about the end of the world and stuff.

02:24:35.000 Yeah, it's happening tomorrow!

02:24:39.000 But I can't see them sustaining themselves based on what they're doing.

02:24:46.000 It's just a lost cause.

02:24:48.000 They're showing themselves to be as much regular radio as they were trying to be the alternative of.

02:24:54.000 They're showing themselves to be the corporate guy and not the cool show that, you know...

02:25:01.000 Gets away with stuff.

02:25:03.000 Isn't the concept so archaic?

02:25:06.000 When you have the internet and you have a provider, your situation.

02:25:10.000 You and Keith, that's it. 0.99

02:25:13.000 You don't need all these other fucking people. 1.00

02:25:16.000 You can get your own ads. 0.99

02:25:18.000 You guys could both solicit companies to advertise, like, look, I've got X amount of thousands of people every fucking day that are listening and watching. 0.96

02:25:26.000 You can sell your products to that, boom, and then you cut out all the nonsense. 0.80

02:25:30.000 All you need is an agent to handle that stuff for you.

02:25:33.000 So, like, this idea of having this...

02:25:35.000 I mean, I've been to the O&A studios. 0.97

02:25:37.000 You guys are in a fucking giant building in Manhattan that must cost $40. 1.00

02:25:41.000 Fuck loads of money. 1.00

02:25:43.000 Unbelievable. 1.00

02:25:44.000 It's gotta be.

02:25:44.000 It's gotta be insane.

02:25:46.000 It's way the fuck at the top of this building. 1.00

02:25:48.000 You gotta show your ID and they give you a fucking sticker. 1.00

02:25:52.000 My name is... 1.00

02:25:53.000 You go through the thing, you go up to the floor.

02:25:55.000 I mean, it's crazy how much money is involved.

02:25:58.000 You go there, there's receptionists and people walking back and forth and all they're doing is...

02:26:03.000 I mean, they have music.

02:26:05.000 Yeah.

02:26:05.000 But with you guys, I mean, that's one of the reasons why you guys should be a separate entity.

02:26:08.000 Right.

02:26:09.000 Because you don't need any of that.

02:26:10.000 It's the live talk aspect of it that is something different.

02:26:15.000 And the worst part for them is the fact that the most important logistical part of their whole setup is in outer space!

02:26:26.000 Like, if something fucks up at the house, we could pretty much go to Radio Shack and patch something together and fix it. 0.99

02:26:34.000 Their shit's in space. 0.99

02:26:37.000 If something breaks on one of their satellites, what are you going to do? 1.00

02:26:40.000 Send fucking Scott Greenstein up there to fucking fix it? 0.99

02:26:45.000 Good luck! 1.00

02:26:45.000 Yeah, they could be wiped out by a solar flare. 1.00

02:26:48.000 Solar flare, fucking meteors, whatever. 1.00

02:26:50.000 Whatever. 1.00

02:26:51.000 Some errant Russian fucking ship. 1.00

02:26:55.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:26:57.000 Oh, yeah.

02:26:58.000 Well, power outage yesterday.

02:26:59.000 We did.

02:27:00.000 We had a power outage at the house yesterday.

02:27:02.000 I have a generator.

02:27:02.000 Oh, you need a generator, though.

02:27:04.000 I have a giant fucking generator. 0.99

02:27:06.000 It's the size of a truck, and it's in my backyard. 0.99

02:27:09.000 And when the power goes off, this thing will...

02:27:13.000 Automatically kick in.

02:27:14.000 Automatically kick in and I could run everything in my house and probably two more houses with this.

02:27:20.000 For how long? 0.98

02:27:21.000 Until the fucking two 1,000 gallon propane tanks run out that aren't hooked up yet. 0.99

02:27:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:27:30.000 Oh, so your power just went out? 0.99

02:27:32.000 I went out yesterday and stayed off.

02:27:34.000 I did the rest of the show from an iPhone in my kitchen and a light plugged into a battery backup.

02:27:42.000 Perfect.

02:27:42.000 And my laptop to show videos and Keith writing down the sponsors and shit that I have to talk about.

02:27:50.000 It was great. 0.89

02:27:51.000 We went from the most technologically advanced studio to pretty much Bin Laden in the cave.

02:27:59.000 That's hilarious.

02:28:00.000 Keith, it's weirder when you run and crouch behind him than if you just walk.

02:28:04.000 If you just walk, yeah.

02:28:05.000 We just got done saying how this is the opposite of serious.

02:28:09.000 You don't have to do that.

02:28:13.000 I can't hear you when you say that though.

02:28:15.000 That's not on either.

02:28:17.000 When we're at our house doing it and he's on camera, I have to crouch underneath the camera.

02:28:23.000 He does crouch.

02:28:23.000 That's true.

02:28:24.000 But there are times too where people are at the house and they're talking and the doors open and I don't care.

02:28:30.000 I like kind of this ambient noise that people are hanging out.

02:28:34.000 Some people get...

02:28:35.000 I got used to doing, like, live reads with people talking all the time.

02:28:39.000 When commercials would happen on the O&A show, I would do the live reads, and people don't stop talking.

02:28:45.000 Yeah, that was yesterday.

02:28:46.000 Oh, so this is you with the power out.

02:28:47.000 That was good for an iPhone.

02:28:48.000 Jeez.

02:28:49.000 With the power out.

02:28:49.000 It's from the airwaves.

02:28:51.000 It's amazing that you can stream like this.

02:28:53.000 Yeah.

02:28:54.000 So you're doing it all through 4G? Yep.

02:28:57.000 Isn't that amazing?

02:28:58.000 This is taking forever because of red tape. 1.00

02:29:02.000 With the stupid fucking town and there's zoning and permits and everything. 1.00

02:29:08.000 It's a good commercial for the show here on your show. 1.00

02:29:11.000 And the generators would have went on and it would have been great.

02:29:14.000 Keith, I do believe if you go to the alarm system and punch the code in...

02:29:17.000 Yeah, all the alarms were going off in the house for battery backup and everything.

02:29:22.000 But it worked out.

02:29:23.000 I'll get the generator on at some point.

02:29:25.000 The neighbors are going to hate it.

02:29:26.000 It's got like a turbo diesel truck engine in it.

02:29:31.000 Nice.

02:29:32.000 Nice.

02:29:34.000 Yeah, when I was in Colorado we had one of those.

02:29:36.000 It would kick in all the time because the power up there sucked. 0.97

02:29:39.000 Yeah, Long Island sucks because the wind blows and for some reason we're the only place on the face of the earth now that still has wires strung on poles like it's fucking like 1850. And they're all between the property lines. 0.98

02:29:53.000 Yeah, why aren't they underground?

02:29:55.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:29:56.000 That's so stupid. 1.00

02:29:57.000 And they put them between the property lines of everyone's house, but then also in between the property lines are trees. 1.00

02:30:04.000 Because you want, like, trees, and trees and wires, they don't fucking mix. 0.98

02:30:09.000 So the second it gets too windy, the wires rip out of the fucking... 0.97

02:30:13.000 It works, and you lose power. 0.97

02:30:15.000 So you've got this set up here.

02:30:17.000 Back that up a little bit.

02:30:18.000 That's so professional.

02:30:18.000 Oh, yeah.

02:30:20.000 It's beautiful.

02:30:21.000 The background, is that all screens, or is that your actual...

02:30:24.000 That's a green screen, and that's my pool.

02:30:26.000 That's amazing.

02:30:27.000 That's my pool in the backyard done on the green screen.

02:30:31.000 But I can put anything back there.

02:30:32.000 So there's a green screen, but it's all broken up.

02:30:35.000 Like you have some of it's green screen, some of it is...

02:30:37.000 No, that is an entire green screen.

02:30:39.000 Everything.

02:30:39.000 The fake screen behind me, the desk, it's all fake.

02:30:43.000 Wow.

02:30:43.000 It's all fake.

02:30:44.000 So I sit there at a desk in a console, but you don't see it.

02:30:49.000 You see that, and the reflections are in the desk.

02:30:52.000 It's all computer magic.

02:30:54.000 That's amazing.

02:30:55.000 The reflections in the desk are also manipulated?

02:30:58.000 All fake.

02:30:59.000 Man.

02:31:00.000 I could put any video on those screens, so that's what I use when I'm showing video.

02:31:04.000 Who built the desk for you?

02:31:07.000 That isn't a real desk.

02:31:08.000 It's a fake desk.

02:31:09.000 The whole desk is fake?

02:31:10.000 The whole thing is fake right here.

02:31:12.000 I am sitting in a chair in a very relatively small room with a green screen behind me.

02:31:20.000 That's why when something happens, and they were showing some of the rioting in Ferguson and stuff, and they'll just play that on the green screen behind me.

02:31:28.000 And I'll be in the crowd going like, ah, don't hurt me.

02:31:34.000 So, the desk being fake, so do you have green screen in front of you as well?

02:31:38.000 No, it knows how to layer.

02:31:40.000 That's the thing about the TriCaster that I like.

02:31:42.000 It knows how to just layer things like you would in Photoshop, where the background is the back layer, my live video is middle, and then the front layer is that desk and whatever else is in front of me.

02:31:54.000 So, what the odd thing is, I can never...

02:31:57.000 I can never reach over the front of the desk.

02:32:00.000 It's always in front of me, so no matter how far I lean, I can never reach over it.

02:32:05.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

02:32:06.000 Yeah, but it looks like I'm futzing with stuff behind it all the time, and I put my beard down there, or I have my Obama bobblehead doll when I'm talking politics.

02:32:15.000 You know, just everything could kind of be behind the desk, and it looks like I have one.

02:32:19.000 People actually, they come down to the studio and go, this is it?

02:32:22.000 That's it.

02:32:23.000 It looks like a giant, complex studio, and it's really pretty simple.

02:32:28.000 Wow, that's amazing.

02:32:30.000 Yeah, it's fun, man.

02:32:31.000 I've always been into video, and I used Adobe After Effects.

02:32:37.000 It's like Photoshop for video, and just been fascinated with keying and green screening and stuff like that. 0.79

02:32:44.000 The equipment that's available to people now, as opposed to even just a few years ago, is un-fucking-believable.

02:32:51.000 Well, even just when you first started, right?

02:32:53.000 Yeah, when I first started, I was just grabbing a few cameras there at B&H and popping it up and doing a show.

02:33:00.000 And then slowly, trial and error, figuring out how to do things.

02:33:04.000 It's left a lot of electronic waste in a lot of closets around my house.

02:33:09.000 It's like, ah, these lights don't work.

02:33:12.000 What made you decide to do a video-based show, as opposed to the way ONA was, which is primarily audio-based, but you used to have PalTalk?

02:33:20.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:33:21.000 Well, I've always been into more of a visual aspect to a show.

02:33:26.000 And especially nowadays, everything is so visual.

02:33:31.000 LiveLeak and YouTube and stuff.

02:33:32.000 People like watching videos of something and then talking about it.

02:33:36.000 So I'll just pull videos all day and all night and put them in folders and put them on the TriCaster, play them, and be able to just discuss it with people.

02:33:48.000 So it adds a whole other dimension.

02:33:51.000 It is weird in the fact that I can't just roll out of bed and...

02:33:55.000 And go downstairs without showering or something, you know, or shaving.

02:33:58.000 I mean, I don't want to be a complete disaster.

02:34:01.000 I didn't have any hair gel today, so I'm a little frizzy.

02:34:04.000 So it is weird to be on camera the whole time.

02:34:07.000 I'd find that kind of strange.

02:34:09.000 And then one of the things I learned is you can't Play song parodies or anything on a visual thing because you're just kind of sitting there listening to music.

02:34:20.000 We were playing an old Reverend Al song that I did years ago and I realized I'm just sitting there going, yeah, well this is it.

02:34:29.000 Are you listening?

02:34:29.000 It was kind of weird.

02:34:31.000 That video that you just showed, Brian, you guys are sitting right next to each other.

02:34:35.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:34:36.000 Is that weird?

02:34:37.000 Having a conversation where you're sitting right next to each other like that?

02:34:39.000 Like that?

02:34:40.000 No, you get used to it.

02:34:42.000 It's weird.

02:34:43.000 You kind of address each other and then the camera, and it's a little odd.

02:34:47.000 A little odd, but you get used to it pretty quickly.

02:34:50.000 And then we're adding more cameras to the studio itself.

02:34:54.000 But a lot of times, like I said, I'll do it from out by the bar or out by the pool or upstairs by the fireplace, wherever.

02:35:01.000 Do you think you'll eventually have a place in New York, in the city?

02:35:04.000 I would like to.

02:35:04.000 I would like to rent a place and have somewhere to go to do interviews.

02:35:11.000 Yeah, and I think it would be a lot more convenient for me not having cameras strewn all over my house and lights.

02:35:18.000 My house is strewn with cameras and lights.

02:35:21.000 It's just everywhere.

02:35:22.000 Oh, look at it.

02:35:23.000 You got it outside.

02:35:24.000 Yeah, that's outside with me and Jimmy Norton hanging out.

02:35:29.000 It could go anywhere.

02:35:32.000 It doesn't have to be just in the studio.

02:35:35.000 Now, have you had any conversations with Sirius since the firing?

02:35:39.000 They sent me an email when they fired me.

02:35:41.000 It was an email.

02:35:42.000 And I called Greenstein, who is the kind of boss over there.

02:35:46.000 And said, really? 0.99

02:35:48.000 Fucking email after, you know, 10 years with you and, you know, years before with the XM and stuff. 0.99

02:35:54.000 But an email. 0.99

02:35:55.000 And he's, ah, well, you know, I... I was like, no explanation?

02:35:59.000 Nothing?

02:36:00.000 No come in and talk and, you know, give your side or anything?

02:36:03.000 Well, and he just didn't have anything.

02:36:06.000 I said, okay, so I'm fired and that's it?

02:36:08.000 He goes, yeah, there's really nothing.

02:36:10.000 I go, okay, thank you.

02:36:11.000 You'll hear from my lawyer.

02:36:13.000 Okay.

02:36:13.000 Because I have to sue him for the rest of my money.

02:36:16.000 Are you suing?

02:36:17.000 Yeah, why wouldn't I? They owed me from my contract, yeah.

02:36:20.000 I don't think they had legitimate reason to fire me.

02:36:23.000 It had to be something that...

02:36:27.000 What is that word when you do something to a company that puts the company in a bad light?

02:36:33.000 The company itself?

02:36:34.000 Like, disparage.

02:36:37.000 I have something in there that said if I disparage the company. 0.98

02:36:40.000 Now that's me going on and saying, Sirius sucks. 1.00

02:36:43.000 Don't fucking subscribe to them. 1.00

02:36:45.000 Howard sucks. 1.00

02:36:46.000 This sucks. 1.00

02:36:47.000 Everyone sucks. 1.00

02:36:48.000 The bosses are assholes. 1.00

02:36:49.000 They don't know what they're doing. 1.00

02:36:50.000 Like, that's disparaging the company.

02:36:52.000 Me expressing my thoughts that I had expressed on their airwaves for years is not disparaging their company.

02:37:00.000 So I say you owe me from July to October. 1.00

02:37:05.000 Pay up, motherfucker. 1.00

02:37:06.000 When does that go to court? 1.00

02:37:08.000 They're working on it already. 1.00

02:37:09.000 My agent and one of the lawyers is all on top of that shit. 0.99

02:37:13.000 It won't go to court. 0.99

02:37:14.000 All these things, they just settle. 0.99

02:37:15.000 It's like, yeah, I'll take some fucking, I'll take some cash out of you. 0.98

02:37:18.000 Where are they making all their money? 0.99

02:37:20.000 I mean, do they have a lot of subscribers?

02:37:22.000 How does it work?

02:37:23.000 Their subscriber...

02:37:25.000 I don't know how many subscribers they actually have at what they say they subscribe at.

02:37:30.000 Because they count things like when you buy a new car and you get a free subscription, they count that as a subscriber.

02:37:36.000 A lot of people were canceling their subs when they fired me.

02:37:40.000 They were very cool.

02:37:41.000 Thousands.

02:37:43.000 Yeah, canceled.

02:37:44.000 Not me.

02:37:44.000 No, no.

02:37:45.000 I hung in there.

02:37:45.000 Sorry.

02:37:47.000 Thank you.

02:37:49.000 I wouldn't hold it against anybody.

02:37:52.000 Thank you.

02:37:56.000 But they canceled, and everyone was saying, wow, they called me back and said they're going to give me a year subscription for like a third of the price and stuff.

02:38:06.000 And that just adds up as subs.

02:38:08.000 So when they go in front of their shareholders, when they give their quarterly reports, they say, well, ladies and gentlemen, the subs are up!

02:38:17.000 We're doing great.

02:38:18.000 We went from this many subs to this many.

02:38:21.000 Now, meanwhile, if you went from that many to that many paying, and now they're paying a third of the price, you're kind of losing money.

02:38:27.000 They never tell how much money.

02:38:29.000 Their money, actually, they always tell, is that a loss?

02:38:32.000 But their sub's always going up.

02:38:34.000 It's amazing.

02:38:35.000 I don't know how that works.

02:38:35.000 Crazy.

02:38:36.000 The subs.

02:38:37.000 How many subs we have.

02:38:39.000 It's just a very strange business.

02:38:41.000 It's not ratings, share points, things like that that I remember from radio.

02:38:41.000 It is.

02:38:46.000 We need subs. 1.00

02:38:47.000 And I remember the boss of the company, the actual boss. 0.99

02:38:49.000 I don't even remember his fucking name. 0.98

02:38:51.000 That's how little I dealt with him. 0.99

02:38:53.000 I dealt with Scott all the time.

02:38:54.000 But this boss guy, he...

02:38:57.000 He had us up.

02:38:58.000 We met with him once.

02:38:59.000 And he goes, I don't care what you guys do, what you say.

02:39:02.000 He goes, to tell you the truth, I barely ever even listened to your show.

02:39:07.000 Like, he didn't even know what we did.

02:39:08.000 He thought this was good to tell us, by the way.

02:39:10.000 And then he goes, all I care about are subscriptions.

02:39:15.000 That's what I want.

02:39:17.000 Subscription.

02:39:18.000 And it just reminded me of Twilight Zone, where an old boss was like, you gotta push, push, push! 0.99

02:39:24.000 And the guy's like, fucking... 0.99

02:39:26.000 Sitting there in black and white all crazy. 1.00

02:39:28.000 Oh, I care about his subscriptions.

02:39:29.000 That was it.

02:39:30.000 And that just told me right there, like, oh boy, this isn't good.

02:39:33.000 It's too archaic.

02:39:36.000 It's just too archaic.

02:39:37.000 The idea that, like, I get a podcast on my phone and I can stream it live.

02:39:43.000 Like, immediately I press a button on my phone and it starts playing in my car.

02:39:47.000 How is that not the greatest thing?

02:39:49.000 And I can pause it.

02:39:50.000 Yeah.

02:39:51.000 All things that I can't do with Sirius.

02:39:53.000 This idea of a show is on when it's on and that's when you have to be tuning in. 0.86

02:39:58.000 That's ridiculous. 0.95

02:39:59.000 That's archaic. 1.00

02:40:00.000 Well, I think their hope is that, hey, people still turn on their fucking radio in their car. 0.99

02:40:06.000 They do. 1.00

02:40:07.000 I do.

02:40:08.000 I still do it.

02:40:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:40:10.000 The Uncle Paul thing, I heard about it because I was just flipping through the dials and because I turned it on when it was happening.

02:40:18.000 When I was in my car, it was right when Jimmy was doing that.

02:40:21.000 If I had listened from the beginning, I might not have made it to that part.

02:40:24.000 I might have gotten to my destination and not heard the whole show.

02:40:29.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:40:29.000 There's something to that.

02:40:30.000 People still listen to just FM radio. 1.00

02:40:32.000 They just put that fucker on. 1.00

02:40:33.000 Maybe. 1.00

02:40:34.000 How many?

02:40:35.000 Well, you know, the ratings are still there.

02:40:37.000 Yeah, but they're the weirdest ratings of all time.

02:40:40.000 Those books that they hand out.

02:40:41.000 The diary.

02:40:42.000 The Nielsen diary.

02:40:44.000 Arbitron diaries. 1.00

02:40:44.000 That is so stupid. 1.00

02:40:46.000 I wrote it in, and I represent 10,000 people, and we... 0.99

02:40:51.000 Well, not enough diaries got returned from the urban areas, so we're going to flood them with diaries the next month, and then at the end of three months, we average it to get... 0.99

02:41:01.000 Who came up with this shit? 0.98

02:41:03.000 It's 2014. They're using fucking the same system the mercantile used in Little House on the Prairie. 1.00

02:41:10.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:41:11.000 Olsen's mercantile.

02:41:12.000 It is. 0.97

02:41:13.000 The Nielsons are goofy, but the Arbitrons are even more goofy. 0.99

02:41:16.000 Yeah. 0.88

02:41:16.000 That book, that rating book. 0.88

02:41:18.000 Arbitron, that was the one, yeah. 0.97

02:41:19.000 Yeah, that's the goofiest. 0.96

02:41:20.000 That's the goofy book. 0.71

02:41:21.000 They send you a book, and they send you like a dollar or something.

02:41:24.000 How do they know who's listening?

02:41:26.000 They can't know.

02:41:27.000 No, they can't.

02:41:28.000 They really can't.

02:41:29.000 Does Sirius know who's listening?

02:41:31.000 Do they have any idea?

02:41:33.000 I think they do, in some way, shape, or form.

02:41:35.000 They have to, right?

02:41:37.000 Don't they?

02:41:38.000 I would imagine.

02:41:39.000 With that technology?

02:41:40.000 They have to know who's turned into a channel, I would imagine.

02:41:43.000 It would be like an IP address on a website.

02:41:45.000 Like, oh, there's 40,000 people listening to Hot 50s.

02:41:48.000 They've always said it's like one way, but...

02:41:51.000 They've always said it's like a one-way signal.

02:41:53.000 They send it to your radio, but your radio doesn't send anything back to them.

02:41:57.000 When you subscribe, you have to do it from either the phone or a computer with your radio number.

02:42:02.000 So you can't just go to your radio and go, hey, I'm subscribing, click.

02:42:06.000 Kevin Smith was telling me that they know who's listening to what.

02:42:09.000 Yeah?

02:42:09.000 I don't know how he knows.

02:42:11.000 I don't know either.

02:42:12.000 I've never heard a number.

02:42:14.000 They've never given us a number.

02:42:15.000 I think because they know it would be a bargaining chip for a negotiation.

02:42:19.000 I would think that just the information that shows on your display that says, you know, guest today, blah, blah, blah, that there's something sending out that separate from the signal...

02:42:31.000 Or something.

02:42:32.000 But it's not, because they're doing that with a regular radio too now, with HD radio.

02:42:37.000 Yeah, that's true.

02:42:38.000 If you listen to regular radio, it's part, it's embedded in the signal that they're broadcasting.

02:42:43.000 What else is embedded in that?

02:42:44.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 1.00

02:42:46.000 Fucking government. 1.00

02:42:47.000 It's the harp system. 1.00

02:42:51.000 Another good impression.

02:42:52.000 I love Jesse.

02:42:54.000 Oh, what a nut.

02:42:55.000 What about 9-11?

02:42:57.000 9-11.

02:42:58.000 What about patriotism?

02:43:01.000 If you don't think they brought the building down...

02:43:06.000 That was embarrassing, that incident with him and Jimmy Norton.

02:43:10.000 It was embarrassing.

02:43:11.000 Thank you for your service.

02:43:13.000 He was embarrassing.

02:43:14.000 He really was. 0.97

02:43:15.000 It was such a blowhard. 0.87

02:43:16.000 Yeah, well, I used to like him before that. 0.66

02:43:19.000 Yeah, I think something happened to him.

02:43:21.000 Age.

02:43:22.000 Like, age, yeah.

02:43:23.000 There might have been some kind of...

02:43:25.000 A little some kind of brain thing, a little synapse thing, or a blood vessel.

02:43:29.000 I think it's also people that get really conspiratorially minded.

02:43:32.000 They start getting really nutty with that.

02:43:34.000 It starts becoming something they just automatically go to.

02:43:38.000 Yeah.

02:43:39.000 Automatically.

02:43:40.000 There's no room for reasonable discussion on a topic anymore.

02:43:44.000 It automatically goes to, well, what about 9-11?

02:43:48.000 9-11.

02:43:49.000 Explain to me the Patriot Act.

02:43:52.000 Ha! 0.89

02:43:52.000 They had it ready to go! 0.89

02:43:54.000 The Gulf of Tonkin!

02:43:56.000 Yeah, that's another one.

02:43:57.000 Operation Northwax! 0.99

02:44:04.000 Ah, that's fucking hilarious. 0.98

02:44:06.000 I just think, also, they get real high on finding conspiracies and things. 0.98

02:44:12.000 Like, there's several people that I follow online that will find anything that's online and think that there's some fucking grand scheme behind it all. 0.98

02:44:21.000 Like, some guy was going on the other day about what ISIS really was, was some Israeli plot, some fucking... 0.99

02:44:28.000 That's a stretch. 0.97

02:44:29.000 Well, it's just always something, man.

02:44:31.000 It really is.

02:44:32.000 They also don't acknowledge real facts.

02:44:35.000 Sometimes they just throw them away.

02:44:36.000 If they can't put a conspiracy to a fact, it just never existed.

02:44:41.000 Like, well, why didn't they find any plane parts at the Pentagon?

02:44:44.000 Well, they did.

02:44:46.000 They did.

02:44:47.000 No, no, no, they didn't.

02:44:49.000 Okay.

02:44:50.000 It was a missile that hit.

02:44:51.000 So they found this.

02:44:51.000 It wasn't a plane.

02:44:53.000 They found an engine. 0.99

02:44:54.000 They found a part from American Airlines here on the fucking lawn and stuff. 0.99

02:44:58.000 No, they didn't find anything. 0.99

02:44:59.000 Oh, okay.

02:45:00.000 Well, I saw a website, bro.

02:45:02.000 I saw a website, and the website said, to the contrary.

02:45:05.000 Right. 0.95

02:45:06.000 Or you don't think the fucking, right there at the Pentagon, you don't think they could have laid plane parts out on the lawn? 0.99

02:45:12.000 Oh, that's a much more... 0.99

02:45:14.000 A truck pulls up, a guy gets out.

02:45:15.000 Just starts. 1.00

02:45:16.000 Just fucking throwing plain fucking parts out of the lawn. 0.99

02:45:19.000 Can you imagine there's a video of a guy doing that? 0.99

02:45:22.000 Just like, you know, you ever see those trucks that farmers have where they spray seeds out of the back of their truck?

02:45:28.000 And they're doing that, just chucking plain parts.

02:45:30.000 Just throwing plain parts out all over the place.

02:45:32.000 Yeah, that's a piece of a tail, I guess. 0.99

02:45:34.000 We need a fucking turbine over here. 0.98

02:45:37.000 Yeah, there's never a logical explanation for anything, and the easiest explanation is never the one that it could be. 0.99

02:45:44.000 It's always got to be a very complicated, something that would have taken planning on the lines of a movie, but...

02:45:53.000 And once they get it in their head that there is a conspiracy, they look only for everything that supports that conspiracy?

02:45:59.000 Yes.

02:46:00.000 We had this episode on chemtrails at all that sci-fi shows we did.

02:46:05.000 That was the one that more people got so fucking angry at, the chemtrails one.

02:46:10.000 Because we had a guy on who was explaining in very clear scientific terms that jet engines... 0.84

02:46:17.000 When you fly, through condensation in the atmosphere, create clouds.

02:46:22.000 There you go.

02:46:22.000 They create artificial clouds, and these artificial clouds, you could do it over and over and over again all day long.

02:46:29.000 All you have to do is fly through, and they're like, yeah, what about one time there's a video that shows the plane, and it's flying, and it's creating a cloud, and then no cloud, and they turn the jet off, and then they turned it on again.

02:46:41.000 Or, you know how you look up in the sky, and there's a cloud here, but there's not a cloud here?

02:46:47.000 Yeah, because the level of condensation in the atmosphere varies.

02:46:50.000 It varies, and it's different. 0.99

02:46:52.000 And when you fly through it, it makes a fucking cloud! 0.99

02:46:56.000 It's aluminum and barium! 0.99

02:46:58.000 What about 9-11?

02:47:00.000 If you squeeze the air that has moisture in it that's not visible as a cloud right now, but you run it through a jet engine, it's gonna come out the other end as a cloud.

02:47:10.000 Yeah.

02:47:11.000 But let me tell you what it is.

02:47:13.000 It's a weird thing that people want to believe that the government is spraying the skies, and they're down here too.

02:47:21.000 But they're just spraying those skies.

02:47:23.000 And have they been doing that since there's been jet engines?

02:47:26.000 Because there's been contrails, which is what it is.

02:47:29.000 That's the thing that people don't want to admit.

02:47:31.000 They want to pretend that there weren't these contrails.

02:47:34.000 Back when we were young, they used to dissolve very quickly.

02:47:37.000 They would fly, and then the contrails would dissipate quickly.

02:47:40.000 Those are normal contrails.

02:47:42.000 The contrails we're seeing today are chemtrails.

02:47:45.000 Right.

02:47:45.000 Oh, okay.

02:47:46.000 It's aluminum and barium.

02:47:48.000 Aluminum and barium. 0.99

02:47:49.000 Meanwhile, if you fucking sprayed aluminum, it wouldn't look like a goddamn cloud. 0.99

02:47:52.000 You need something that's moisture to look like a cloud. 0.99

02:47:55.000 It needs to be vapor. 0.99

02:47:57.000 Aluminum is never going to be a fucking vapor. 0.99

02:47:58.000 It's heavy. 1.00

02:48:00.000 It's all so dumb. 0.98

02:48:01.000 Another thing I love is the fact that how UFO phenomenon has just disappeared with the advent of everybody having a phone and a camera and stuff. 0.97

02:48:12.000 I think that killed the UFO thing.

02:48:15.000 Because now anything that happens is on camera.

02:48:15.000 It did.

02:48:18.000 Anything.

02:48:19.000 You can't do anything without it being on camera. 0.99

02:48:21.000 The second something happens, 20 people at least, they're holding their fucking phone up. 0.92

02:48:26.000 Now you would think if UFOs were going around with everybody having a camera now, there would be so many great UFO videos. 0.97

02:48:33.000 And there's none.

02:48:34.000 There's a few fake ones.

02:48:36.000 There's like fake ones that have been done on After Effects and great production companies have put out great shaky fucking things and it looks pretty cool. 0.87

02:48:46.000 But there are no fucking, like, go to YouTube and go, authentic, like, it's just not happening. 0.89

02:48:52.000 No, it's true. 0.97

02:48:53.000 And you would think it'd be great.

02:48:54.000 Like, finally, everyone's got a camera. 1.00

02:48:55.000 We're gonna see these motherfuckers. 1.00

02:48:57.000 Gone. 1.00

02:48:58.000 It's true. 1.00

02:48:59.000 I mean, we're seeing videos of mountain lions in fucking parking lots and shit. 1.00

02:48:59.000 It's so true. 1.00

02:49:04.000 There was a mountain lion in San Jose on someone's car.

02:49:06.000 They caught it on a security camera just standing on the hood of his car.

02:49:09.000 That's scary.

02:49:10.000 Big cat, man.

02:49:11.000 A big beavis.

02:49:13.000 A big giant beavis.

02:49:14.000 You see the hawk that took out the little drone?

02:49:16.000 No.

02:49:17.000 That's one of the videos up today.

02:49:19.000 I think it just hit today or yesterday. 0.99

02:49:21.000 Some fucking guy is going... 1.00

02:49:21.000 A hawk swooped down and snatched it. 1.00

02:49:24.000 With his drone, and you see a hawk kind of going around. 0.99

02:49:26.000 This thing comes at the drone, claws fucking out, wham! 1.00

02:49:31.000 Hits the fucking thing. 1.00

02:49:33.000 It's great. 1.00

02:49:34.000 It's great.

02:49:35.000 Let's end on that.

02:49:36.000 Yeah, if you could find it, you'd love it. 1.00

02:49:38.000 It's nature saying, fuck you technology. 1.00

02:49:42.000 I'll show you his boss up here. 1.00

02:49:44.000 It's a rival, yes.

02:49:46.000 It's a rival for another hawk's affections.

02:49:50.000 That's fantastic, though, man. 0.99

02:49:52.000 Hawks by my house always fuck with crows. 0.99

02:49:55.000 Yeah, hawks and crows fuck with each other because hawks will eat crows. 0.99

02:49:58.000 I think a hawk stole one of my chickens. 0.95

02:50:00.000 Oh, really?

02:50:01.000 Man, one of my chickens vanished, and I think it was probably a hawk, because I let them roam, and most of the area where they are, they're protected under the canopy of oaks, so the hawks can't really swoop in. 0.97

02:50:11.000 But if the chickens get stupid, and they go out near the pool... 0.98

02:50:15.000 You should throw out that drop cam that I gave you. 0.99

02:50:17.000 It has night vision, and then you can just watch it anytime you want to.

02:50:22.000 It'll notify you if something crazy is happening and stuff.

02:50:25.000 Those are great.

02:50:25.000 It's HD. Yeah, that's probably a good idea.

02:50:27.000 I saw Big Hawk fly across Canoga last night.

02:50:30.000 Yeah?

02:50:31.000 It was pretty cool.

02:50:31.000 Oh, hawks are out here, man.

02:50:32.000 Yeah, they just fucking... 0.99

02:50:33.000 It dove down and then back up into the trees. 0.99

02:50:35.000 I thought... 0.99

02:50:36.000 Instantly, I thought it was a bat because it was night, and that would have been a big fucking bat. 0.99

02:50:39.000 They have big fucking owls out here. 0.99

02:50:42.000 Owls? 1.00

02:50:42.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

02:50:43.000 Maybe it was.

02:50:43.000 That would have...

02:50:44.000 I'm not a bird guy.

02:50:45.000 I've seen some owls out here that I'm not bullshitting.

02:50:47.000 We're like two and a half, three feet tall.

02:50:49.000 Standing on a post for days on end?

02:50:50.000 Just sit...

02:50:51.000 No. 1.00

02:50:54.000 We have rubber ones on people's houses to keep away stupid birds. 0.99

02:50:58.000 We can't figure out if this thing is not going to chase them. 1.00

02:51:01.000 That really is a dumb bird. 1.00

02:51:01.000 Fucking guy won't leave. 1.00

02:51:02.000 It's the most uncool owl ever. 1.00

02:51:05.000 Have you ever thought about setting up out here, now that you don't have to be in New York?

02:51:08.000 You know, I don't have to be in New York, and that is very cool.

02:51:11.000 No winter.

02:51:12.000 I know, I know.

02:51:14.000 We could do collaborations, my friend.

02:51:16.000 We could do shows any time, any day.

02:51:16.000 I would love it.

02:51:19.000 I would fucking love it. 0.98

02:51:20.000 I'll take you to the range. 1.00

02:51:21.000 We'll shoot our guns together. 0.98

02:51:22.000 God. 0.94

02:51:24.000 You do spin a nice yarn there.

02:51:27.000 If I did move, I would consider a few other places just because of...

02:51:32.000 Like, I can't go to another state that just has ridiculous gun laws, like New York.

02:51:38.000 Well, this place has better gun laws than New York, though. 0.85

02:51:41.000 Believe it or not, yeah.

02:51:41.000 You could buy a handgun pretty easily in LA. Yeah, you'd think it would be harder.

02:51:46.000 But you can't even walk into a gun store in New York if you don't have a pistol license...

02:51:50.000 For New York State.

02:51:51.000 In the city, forget about it.

02:51:53.000 In New York State, let's say you go into a gun store and you're like, oh, I want to see what that Walther PPK is like.

02:51:58.000 Can I hold it?

02:51:58.000 No.

02:51:59.000 You can't even hold a gun in a gun store and go, wow, that's kind of cool.

02:52:03.000 Without a gun license, you've got to show them first.

02:52:06.000 Yeah, New York is way more than California.

02:52:09.000 But California has more archaic hunting laws.

02:52:12.000 In California, they don't allow them to hunt a lot of animals that are really problem animals, like bears and cougars.

02:52:19.000 They used to use dogs to hunt bears.

02:52:21.000 If you don't use dogs to hunt bears, there's three ways to hunt bears.

02:52:25.000 Spot and stalk, which is really tough.

02:52:27.000 You've got to find them and stalk them.

02:52:28.000 And in woods, it doesn't work.

02:52:30.000 Wow.

02:52:30.000 You can only use it on, like, hillsides and in areas where they're going to be out eating berries or, like, grizzlies in large tundra areas.

02:52:37.000 Or you've got to use bait, where you have to leave bait out for them, the bears come from the bait, and then you kill them.

02:52:42.000 It's the only way to do it.

02:52:43.000 Yeah.

02:52:43.000 Like, it's cheating when you use bait for fish.

02:52:45.000 Ha! 0.89

02:52:46.000 That's cheating, too. 1.00

02:52:47.000 Joe's always got a fucking answer. 0.99

02:52:49.000 I love it. 1.00

02:52:49.000 I mean, it is kind of cheating. 1.00

02:52:51.000 That is absolutely true.

02:52:52.000 But how else are you going to get them really go down there with a spear?

02:52:56.000 You don't use bait for most animals.

02:53:00.000 Most animals...

02:53:01.000 It's illegal. 0.99

02:53:03.000 Like, Texas, they kind of allow you to do whatever the fuck you want. 0.98

02:53:03.000 Well, there's some... 0.98

02:53:06.000 You could use bait for deer. 1.00

02:53:07.000 Like, you leave out corn and fucking shoot them in the head and they go to eat. 1.00

02:53:11.000 I think it's fair if you put the bait for the bear on a hook and then have to land them like a fish. 1.00

02:53:16.000 I'm fighting him.

02:53:18.000 Caught on his lip. 1.00

02:53:20.000 That big fucking lip. 1.00

02:53:21.000 He's gone under the leaves. 1.00

02:53:23.000 Smart bear.

02:53:25.000 We're gonna need a bigger tree stand.

02:53:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:53:29.000 But mountain lions, they stopped hunting them altogether, and they're so prevalent now that a six-year-old kid got attacked in fucking Cupertino, where the fucking apple campus is in Cupertino. 0.99

02:53:39.000 Wow. 0.99

02:53:39.000 Yeah, it's the same town as the apple campus. 0.99

02:53:41.000 A six-year-old got attacked by a mountain lion.

02:53:43.000 They're everywhere.

02:53:44.000 There's this one ranch that I hunt at.

02:53:44.000 Yeah.

02:53:46.000 They have a trail cam up at this ranch, and they caught 16 different mountain lions on camera.

02:53:51.000 On the cams.

02:53:53.000 16 different mountain lions.

02:53:54.000 That's right.

02:53:55.000 And people that get eaten by the mountain lions, they're doing exactly what the mountain lion loves, like running or biking.

02:54:03.000 It's always like, yeah, I took a jog in the hills.

02:54:06.000 The mountain lion just sees like, oh, this is great.

02:54:09.000 Like throw something for your toy.

02:54:10.000 Yeah, throw a toy to a cat and watch what he does. 0.98

02:54:14.000 They're so goddamn strong, too. 0.95

02:54:15.000 Can you imagine a cat that's as strong as a house cat but weighs 100 pounds? 0.99

02:54:20.000 Yeah. 0.63

02:54:21.000 And it fucks things up all day.

02:54:22.000 That's what it does. 0.98

02:54:23.000 It's not like this is the first time it's ever killed anything with its face.

02:54:26.000 It's been getting its food delivered like Beavis has in a nice little aluminum tray. 1.00

02:54:31.000 No, it's fucking food. 1.00

02:54:32.000 It catches its food with its face. 1.00

02:54:34.000 It catches fucking food. 1.00

02:54:36.000 You see that guy that got in the cage with the tiger? 0.99

02:54:39.000 And he was cowering in the corner with the tiger like two feet away from him, just staring at him for 15 minutes before the tiger bit him.

02:54:39.000 Yes.

02:54:50.000 That 15 minutes, looking at that... 1.00

02:54:53.000 There are times I'll look at Beavis' face and go, oh shit, I don't even want to fuck with him. 1.00

02:54:56.000 And it's a cat. 1.00

02:54:57.000 Because he's got those fucking... 1.00

02:54:59.000 His eyes turn completely black and he's got that look on his face like, yeah, I could just lunge at your eyeballs right now. 1.00

02:55:06.000 Imagine a tiger head, which is... 0.98

02:55:08.000 If you've seen a full-grown tiger, their heads are fucking bizarre big. 0.97

02:55:12.000 Just from side to side. 0.98

02:55:12.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:55:14.000 And that thing just like...

02:55:16.000 Alright, is it still there? 0.99

02:55:17.000 Yeah, it's still fucking there. 0.98

02:55:18.000 He was also praying a lot and waving his hands up and down. 0.99

02:55:22.000 He was like being agitating.

02:55:24.000 I'd find God at that point somehow.

02:55:27.000 I don't know what I would do.

02:55:28.000 God.

02:55:28.000 There's nothing you can do.

02:55:29.000 The amount of power they have.

02:55:31.000 No, it's just unbelievable power.

02:55:33.000 That muscle...

02:55:34.000 We are very weak in the animal world. 0.99

02:55:36.000 If we didn't have a few fucking sparkles of miracle up in our head, we would be done. 0.99

02:55:42.000 Well, the idea is those sparkles of miracle are what sent us down this road of decay where our bodies develop this fucking soft, fleshy outer layer that tears on rocks and twigs. 0.99

02:55:53.000 You look at a chimpanzee just fucking going through trees, hitting sharp branches. 0.99

02:55:59.000 They're made of leather. 1.00

02:55:59.000 Nothing. 1.00

02:56:00.000 It's amazing. 0.99

02:56:01.000 Leather with muscle corded fucking thick tendons that we don't even understand. 0.98

02:56:06.000 They have tendons that are so much stronger than ours. 0.99

02:56:09.000 Oh, you think they ever wake up just, ow!

02:56:11.000 Nothing.

02:56:12.000 What happened?

02:56:13.000 No, they grab a branch and launch themselves into the air with it.

02:56:17.000 They throw themselves through the sky and catch things and whoosh! 0.99

02:56:22.000 Skin like fucking Easy Rider. 0.99

02:56:25.000 Yeah, they're so different than us. 1.00

02:56:27.000 We're just bags of jello.

02:56:29.000 Yeah.

02:56:30.000 Just fleshy.

02:56:32.000 I had a two-year-old chimp on news radio once. 0.94

02:56:35.000 It was an episode.

02:56:36.000 I don't think we even wound up using the scene.

02:56:38.000 They are adorable.

02:56:39.000 Adorable. 1.00

02:56:40.000 But it was a tiny little chimp, and it fucking slapped me in the back, and I was like, holy shit! 1.00

02:56:45.000 It was hanging on to me. 1.00

02:56:46.000 It was being cute.

02:56:47.000 But then it just whacked me in the back, and I couldn't believe how hard it hit me. 0.99

02:56:51.000 I was like, This is fucking crazy. 0.92

02:56:53.000 Even the small one, because we had one on the ONA show. 0.98

02:56:55.000 Jimmy had worked with a chimp on some MTV thing, and he found out that the chimp was in town, so they invited the chimp on the show. 0.98

02:57:02.000 And it was probably a couple of years old, maybe three, and you could just feel his shoulder. 0.97

02:57:10.000 And it's this rock, just muscle, tight fucking muscle. 0.98

02:57:10.000 It's different. 0.98

02:57:15.000 It's totally different.

02:57:16.000 Yeah.

02:57:17.000 Yeah, we're weak, but we have guns, and we win.

02:57:19.000 But we have guns, and we have tactics, and, you know.

02:57:22.000 Backup generators, propane tanks, iPhones.

02:57:26.000 Radar, sonar, electric toothbrushes.

02:57:29.000 I got quince stuck in my head now.

02:57:31.000 Listen, man, I'm glad we're out of time, but I'm glad you're doing your show.

02:57:35.000 I'm so glad you're doing it the way you're doing it, too. 0.96

02:57:38.000 Not just getting hired by some other radio station that's gonna fucking hamstring you. 0.90

02:57:42.000 Yeah, you'd be in the same boat. 0.96

02:57:43.000 I'd be in the same boat in no time, I think, so...

02:57:46.000 It's kind of nice that this worked out.

02:57:49.000 And it is odd that the inspiration that you got for this from me doing the Compound show and then you doing this was an inspiration to go back to actually do the full show on a scheduled basis.

02:58:00.000 Because I think it was you that told me at some point you got to...

02:58:03.000 You gotta put these things on at the same time, like if you're gonna do it, like when I'm gonna do it, it's gotta be from 4 to 6 p.m.

02:58:10.000 Eastern.

02:58:10.000 The key is just consistency.

02:58:12.000 Consistency, yes.

02:58:13.000 Just gotta make sure that people get into it and it becomes a part of their day.

02:58:16.000 And it's very rewarding for you, too, I'm sure, right?

02:58:20.000 Yeah, absolutely.

02:58:21.000 The feedback, too. 0.98

02:58:22.000 It's fucking cool. 0.95

02:58:23.000 It's just fun to do. 0.98

02:58:25.000 I don't think I ever did so much preparation for any other show I did. 0.93

02:58:30.000 And I'm honest, it's like, I would go in, and not that I would phone it in or anything, but it was kind of easy to sit there with the likes of a Jim Norton and bounce shit back and forth and just start laughing our asses off and goofing.

02:58:44.000 When it's your show, though...

02:58:48.000 I want stuff.

02:58:49.000 I want to know that I'm talking about this, this, that.

02:58:52.000 I want to be very interactive with the audience.

02:58:54.000 We're doing a PalTalk thing where PalTalk is joining us, so subscribers will be able to go to a room in PalTalk.

02:59:01.000 Now I'll be able to just pull up their cameras, put them on my virtual screen, and have a discussion with these people instead of just primarily going to the phones.

02:59:09.000 We get interactivity. 0.99

02:59:11.000 Or if I could just want to surprise them, if someone's just sitting there jacking off, bam, we can pop that up and go, hey, asshole, what are you doing? 1.00

02:59:17.000 Nice. 0.99

02:59:19.000 AnthonyKumia.com.

02:59:20.000 Go watch it.

02:59:21.000 Thank you.

02:59:21.000 Go subscribe.

02:59:22.000 Be a part of it.

02:59:23.000 It's only seven...

The Joe Rogan Experience - October 10, 2014

Joe Rogan Experience #560 - Anthony Cumia

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript