The Joe Rogan Experience - January 20, 2015


Joe Rogan Experience #602 - Ari Shaffir & Duncan Trussell

Topics
improvised musical reality show Nazca lines existentialism and meaning of life ideology atheism and religious ideologies atheists in Congress Reza Aslan book on historical Jesus Foxcatcher movie and Mark Schultz's life changes affirmative action comedy psilocybin medicinal benefits psychedelics Mrs. Eastwood and Company reality show police attitude racism differences stop and frisk calling technicals on people for swearing comics softball league
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Ari Shaffir Duncan Trussell
Mentioned
Duncan Trussell Jamie Kilstein Clint Eastwood Jesse Ventura Chris Kyle John Anthony West Obama Dustin Hoffman Comedy Central Mencia Timothy Leary Daniel Tosh John DuPont Bill Cosby Sisyphus Jarvis Torah Saddam Hussein Michael Moore Willie Hunter and 69 more
Joe Rogan Experience #601 - Katy Bowman Joe Rogan Experience #603 - Justin Wren

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 58 minutes

Words per minute

199.51

Word count

23,728

Sentence count

2,773

Harmful content

Misogyny

62

sentences flagged

Toxicity

821

sentences flagged

Hate speech

81

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Comedian Ari Shafir joins Jemele to talk about his new show on Comedy Central, his new stand-up special, and how he got into the comedy game. He also talks about how he gets possessed by demons, and what happens when they come out of your body when you masturbate. And he explains how to get rid of them. Plus, he tells the story of how he became a vegan, and why he thinks it's the best thing that ever happened to him. And, of course, he talks about what it's like to be a Jewish comedian in the 80s and 90s. And, as always, thank you for tuning into HYPEBEAST Radio and Business of HYPE. Please don't forget to rate, comment, and subscribe to our other shows MIC/LINE, The Anthropology, The HYPE Report, and HYPETALKS. Please remember to rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts, and tell a friend about the show if you like what you think it's funny, insightful, funny, or just a little bit about what you're listening to. Thank you for listening, and Happy Listening! Timestamps: 5:00 - The Joe Rogan Experience 6:30 - I need a new theme song? 7:15 - I m not a comedian, I m a comedian. 8:00 9:40 - I don t need a theme song. 11:00 | I m just here to be funny. 12:50 - What s a baller? 13: How do you like it? 15:00 Is that a good thing? 16:00: What s your favorite part of my life? 17: What do you want me to do? 18:10 - I ve always felt like you re funny? 19:00 I ve got a good day? 21:00 My favorite bit? 22:00 Do you like a good night? 23:00 What s my favorite part? 24:00 Are you? 25:00 Can you think of a good piece of food? 26: What are you a little sapling? 27: what do you think I m going to do with that szn? 29: What kind of thing I m eating? 30:00 A little bit more? 31:00 Have a question or something like that? 32:00

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:08.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:18.000 I need a new theme song.
00:00:20.000 It's time?
00:00:21.000 Yeah.
00:00:22.000 600 episodes, I think it's...
00:00:24.000 Yeah, but you haven't had that for the first 100. Yeah, whatever that is.
00:00:28.000 But it's still 500. I mean, it's great.
00:00:30.000 I love it.
00:00:31.000 I used to like the...
00:00:33.000 Tell Nick Diaz that if he doesn't win, then you gotta get a new theme song.
00:00:37.000 I will never take his voice off the theme song.
00:00:41.000 We'll do a new theme song and we'll incorporate his voice.
00:00:44.000 That was one of the coolest moments of my life.
00:00:46.000 Are you kidding me?
00:00:47.000 Nick Diaz wins.
00:00:49.000 He's got his hands up in the air.
00:00:50.000 He's like, training by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night.
00:00:52.000 I was like, that's the coolest thing that's ever happened to me.
00:00:55.000 Next to the birth of my children.
00:00:57.000 It's right up there.
00:00:58.000 Wow.
00:01:02.000 So, we're all here because we're friends, and this is an intervention, Duncan.
00:01:07.000 I know you thought this was a podcast. 0.99
00:01:09.000 I can't stop masturbating. 0.99
00:01:10.000 You're gonna have to. 1.00
00:01:10.000 You're gonna. 1.00
00:01:11.000 I'm not gonna stop, man.
00:01:12.000 Because, Ari, tell them about the demons.
00:01:14.000 Tell them what happens.
00:01:15.000 Yeah.
00:01:16.000 I don't know if we know this. 1.00
00:01:17.000 When Jews know that when people masturbate, they're actually fucking a demon that's on top of you. 1.00
00:01:22.000 That you can't even see. 1.00
00:01:22.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:01:23.000 When you come, it comes into her belly, and you have demon babies. 1.00
00:01:25.000 The only way to get the Jews out of my body is to jerk off Jews. 1.00
00:01:29.000 Not really. 1.00
00:01:30.000 Wait a minute. 1.00
00:01:31.000 The only way to get the juice out of your body is to jerk off. 1.00
00:01:34.000 The demons out of my body. 1.00
00:01:36.000 Sometimes I get possessed by demons and they swell up in my chest and they cause my penis to expand and to change shape. 0.99
00:01:46.000 You know what I'm talking about? 1.00
00:01:48.000 When the demon gets inside of you and makes your penis change shape. 1.00
00:01:53.000 It's very strange. 1.00
00:01:54.000 I've seen that.
00:01:55.000 He becomes like the Stay Puft marshmallow guy.
00:01:56.000 Yeah!
00:01:57.000 So you get demons too. 0.99
00:01:58.000 So when these things come, the only thing that gets the demon out is if I jerk off a Semitic man. 1.00
00:02:05.000 And then when I do that, I see the demon come out of my penis in the form of this white, salty substance. 1.00
00:02:12.000 And then it goes back to normal? 1.00
00:02:13.000 Your penis? 1.00
00:02:14.000 No, it stays like... 1.00
00:02:15.000 Crazy.
00:02:16.000 Crazy. 0.93
00:02:17.000 It stays aggressive. 0.58
00:02:18.000 It's always screaming, howling at night.
00:02:18.000 Yeah.
00:02:23.000 So we're here.
00:02:23.000 So...
00:02:24.000 So we're here.
00:02:25.000 This is not happening.
00:02:26.000 The new show on Comedy Central.
00:02:28.000 Ari Shafir officially a baller.
00:02:30.000 Just had his new Comedy Central hour special.
00:02:33.000 Paid regular. 1.00
00:02:34.000 That was the coolest shit, man. 0.99
00:02:35.000 The Comedy Store was tweeting photos of the, and Red Band tweeted some too, of the patio. 0.99
00:02:40.000 The filled patio.
00:02:42.000 Everybody out there watching your special on TV while you were performing in the OR. That was the craziest picture.
00:02:47.000 Jeff Scott showed me a picture of you.
00:02:50.000 On stage, live at the store, and on stage.
00:02:53.000 And my special was from that same stage.
00:02:56.000 And you know what's even cooler? 0.98
00:02:57.000 If people come to see you now, I think your new material now is some of the best shit you've ever done. 0.93
00:03:02.000 It's right up there with the best bits you've ever done. 0.99
00:03:04.000 The new shit that you're doing now, the stuff you did in Vegas, it's fucking great, man. 1.00
00:03:07.000 It's really funny shit. 1.00
00:03:09.000 I got like eight of it. 0.99
00:03:11.000 What'd you say?
00:03:12.000 You got about eight minutes of that.
00:03:12.000 You got eight minutes?
00:03:14.000 That's alright, dude.
00:03:15.000 Just keep swinging, you know?
00:03:18.000 I'm like at about 40 right now.
00:03:21.000 But it's 40 that I don't know it that well.
00:03:24.000 Yeah, well, now it's still ever evolving.
00:03:26.000 Like we used to say Jarvis, his friend Jarvis, my friend too Jarvis, he used to say that bits were like cooling metal or cooling honey.
00:03:35.000 So it was like real fluid.
00:03:36.000 Then as it gets cooler, it takes like more and more shape until it becomes like the same thing every time.
00:03:40.000 That's cool.
00:03:41.000 I don't remember.
00:03:41.000 Yeah, remember that?
00:03:43.000 You told me when you were a talent coordinator, you told me that.
00:03:44.000 That's an interesting way to look at it.
00:03:46.000 I've always felt that they grow, though.
00:03:47.000 I've always felt that they're a living thing, and they become sturdy.
00:03:51.000 They start off as little saplings, and they're like, oh. 0.99
00:03:54.000 Sometimes they look impressive, and sometimes they come out, they're fucking trees. 0.98
00:03:58.000 There's certain bits that I've done that were already a tree before they ever got to the stage. 0.97
00:04:03.000 Like the vegan bit that was just on my last special.
00:04:06.000 I wrote that bit all after one conversation.
00:04:09.000 Did you name that bit Jamie Kilstein?
00:04:11.000 Jamie Kilstein, believe it or not, even though he talks a lot about being a vegan, he's not preachy about it.
00:04:19.000 And he also admits that he ate a lot of meat.
00:04:22.000 He's a bad example of that.
00:04:23.000 Jamie Kilstein gets a bad rap.
00:04:25.000 Part of it is because of the conversation that he and I had on the show, but...
00:04:29.000 What was that again?
00:04:31.000 What was that conversation?
00:04:32.000 I don't remember that.
00:04:32.000 If he's out there listening, Jamie Kilstein, I think you're a good dude.
00:04:35.000 I really do.
00:04:36.000 I think he's a genuinely...
00:04:38.000 What he's trying to do, he genuinely thinks he's doing really good things.
00:04:43.000 And he's just...
00:04:44.000 It was about the Daniel Tosh rape thing.
00:04:49.000 You know, Daniel Tosh made that joke where he asked the audience what they wanted to talk about.
00:04:55.000 Some guy yells out rape, and Daniel Tosh starts saying, like, yeah, what a great subject.
00:05:01.000 Like, what's so funny about rape?
00:05:02.000 Is it the humiliation?
00:05:03.000 Is it the violence?
00:05:04.000 Some woman says, actually, nothing is funny about rape. 1.00
00:05:09.000 And he goes, wouldn't it be funny if five guys just raped her right now? 0.96
00:05:11.000 And it became this big... 1.00
00:05:14.000 I mean, first of all, that's the kind of shit that happens at a goddamn comedy club. 1.00
00:05:18.000 You know, we all know that. 1.00
00:05:19.000 And the guy's just trying to be funny while he's on his toes on a stage in the spur of the moment.
00:05:26.000 Yeah, to me it's like a non-issue.
00:05:27.000 Yeah, so Jamie and I disagreed with it heavily because he felt like it's lazy and he felt like it contributed to rape culture, which is a term that gets bandied about.
00:05:38.000 It's a weird term. 0.97
00:05:40.000 Some people think it's a horseshit term. 0.96
00:05:42.000 There is no rape culture. 0.99
00:05:44.000 It's a real thing.
00:05:45.000 That's why if you see the Indian comics from India and stuff, they're super rape jokey. 1.00
00:05:51.000 Are you kidding?
00:05:52.000 No, that's all.
00:05:53.000 That's pretty much like all our comics. 0.87
00:05:55.000 Just talk about rape and gang rape. 1.00
00:05:57.000 Shut up. 1.00
00:05:59.000 There's no Indian comics. 1.00
00:06:01.000 What about Russell Peters?
00:06:03.000 He's Canadian.
00:06:04.000 What about Aziz Ansari? 1.00
00:06:06.000 He's fucking from Houston. 1.00
00:06:07.000 Dude, they're Indians. 1.00
00:06:09.000 How dare you? 1.00
00:06:10.000 They're brown as fuck. 1.00
00:06:12.000 How dare you? 1.00
00:06:12.000 I think there are Indian comics. 1.00
00:06:14.000 There must be, for sure.
00:06:15.000 I don't know.
00:06:16.000 Do they have a scene you think out there?
00:06:17.000 Must.
00:06:18.000 They have a giant movie industry there.
00:06:21.000 Oh, yeah.
00:06:22.000 Their movie industry is bigger than our movie industry.
00:06:24.000 Super porny, right? 0.94
00:06:25.000 Isn't there always long sex scenes as well?
00:06:27.000 If you consider juggling fruit and singing in between a gunfighting scene morning, because all their movies still have musical numbers, where they will start in the middle of a real action movie.
00:06:40.000 When I went to India, we would take Valium and go to this movie theater in New Delhi and just watch their movies, because they're so trippy.
00:06:48.000 But yeah, in the middle of an action movie, it'll stop into a musical number, like a real serious action movie.
00:06:56.000 It's just their culture.
00:06:56.000 Why?
00:06:57.000 They like it.
00:06:58.000 They like it.
00:06:59.000 They like that style of theater.
00:07:00.000 That's just what it's supposed to be.
00:07:01.000 Well, I mean, we used to like it.
00:07:03.000 And if you go back and try to watch those old movies- Oklahoma.
00:07:06.000 Something like that.
00:07:06.000 Well, all those Gene Kelly movies that would start dancing in the street.
00:07:09.000 Oh, yeah.
00:07:09.000 Everybody would stand there and people would dance around them.
00:07:12.000 They had music videos that broke out in the middle of a movie.
00:07:15.000 So they have all these plots.
00:07:16.000 That's a great way to put it.
00:07:17.000 Yeah, they have all these plots.
00:07:19.000 They have real language.
00:07:20.000 They have real dialogue.
00:07:21.000 They have a real storyline.
00:07:23.000 It's so weird, though.
00:07:24.000 Yeah.
00:07:24.000 Why aren't they singing?
00:07:26.000 They wouldn't be singing.
00:07:29.000 Why are they talking in raw?
00:07:31.000 What are you talking about?
00:07:32.000 Well, it's someone's desire, the one person's desire in the middle of a gigantic performance where people are interacting with each other.
00:07:38.000 It's one person's desire to totally steal the spotlight.
00:07:41.000 And the best way to do that...
00:07:45.000 Everybody has to stand around and listen while John, like we're all like support.
00:07:50.000 We're in the back and John's in the center.
00:07:52.000 He's singing.
00:07:52.000 We're snapping.
00:07:53.000 Yeah, and he's got this great point.
00:07:54.000 And we're all like, wow, yeah.
00:07:56.000 And he's singing about life.
00:07:59.000 And everyone's letting him move around.
00:08:01.000 John's singing about life. 0.99
00:08:02.000 Nobody stops and go, what are you fucking doing, man? 0.99
00:08:05.000 Like, why are you saying... 0.98
00:08:06.000 Like, nobody interacts with them.
00:08:07.000 There's no interacting.
00:08:08.000 There's just one guy.
00:08:10.000 Which is what the theater, to some folks, is all about.
00:08:13.000 That moment.
00:08:13.000 On stage, holding the skull.
00:08:16.000 Look upon thee!
00:08:17.000 That reminds me, man.
00:08:18.000 I got a million dollar idea.
00:08:20.000 What's that?
00:08:21.000 Found footage musical.
00:08:22.000 Like, you know those found footage movies, but they find one where, like, people are actually singing.
00:08:28.000 Ha ha ha!
00:08:29.000 Like a real musical.
00:08:31.000 No music is playing.
00:08:34.000 They just start singing. 1.00
00:08:35.000 Like, what the fuck are they doing? 1.00
00:08:38.000 That would be great. 1.00
00:08:40.000 Really bad songs.
00:08:42.000 But like this choppy video.
00:08:44.000 Like, oh, he's not really getting it.
00:08:45.000 It's totally happening right now.
00:08:47.000 I've got a great idea to do with it.
00:08:49.000 An improvised musical reality show.
00:08:54.000 It's all improvised musicals.
00:08:55.000 But they've got to do it in song and dance.
00:08:57.000 That's a great idea.
00:08:58.000 You've got to bring them into a situation.
00:09:00.000 Big brother in song.
00:09:01.000 That's hilarious.
00:09:02.000 And the audience doesn't know, so people are going to interact with them.
00:09:07.000 So they have to sing out to this restaurant or bar.
00:09:11.000 Have you ever seen the video?
00:09:12.000 There's a video with this, bringing it back to activists that sometimes miss the point.
00:09:18.000 There was a video of this lady. 1.00
00:09:20.000 She steps into a chicken restaurant and she starts talking about, this is not food, this is violence.
00:09:26.000 And there's a little girl and she starts saying, And she just wants to live.
00:09:31.000 She just wants to be happy, and she just wants to live.
00:09:33.000 And this little girl was going to die, just like all of her sisters and all of her brothers and her family.
00:09:39.000 A chicken.
00:09:39.000 A turkey?
00:09:39.000 A chicken?
00:09:40.000 And she rescued this chicken. 0.87
00:09:42.000 And so there's videos of the same gal with her chicken at home.
00:09:47.000 It's like...
00:09:49.000 So she goes into a restaurant, disrupts all these people, and tells this whole story, and then explains that it's her chicken. 0.99
00:09:57.000 And then a whole crew of assholes come in behind her with signs, this is not food, it's violence. 1.00
00:10:04.000 It's so weird. 1.00
00:10:06.000 And they're like, we're just running a restaurant.
00:10:07.000 Dude, it seems like a parody.
00:10:09.000 It seems like someone is just badass.
00:10:11.000 Some Tim and Eric type dude.
00:10:13.000 Really?
00:10:13.000 Just put together some badass parody that's so subtle, you're like, not sure.
00:10:18.000 Right. 0.99
00:10:18.000 Like, is this bitch really this crazy that she's referring to this chicken as her girl? 0.99
00:10:22.000 Yeah, it seems sometimes that activists aren't aware of the fact that if their stunt isn't pulled off in the right way, it seems like it could be more detrimental. 0.99
00:10:34.000 It comes off super lame.
00:10:35.000 Of course.
00:10:37.000 The response is going to be to eat more chicken.
00:10:42.000 Just because you're like, I don't want to be associated with this kind of behavior.
00:10:47.000 And if that means eating chicken, then I guess I'll eat more chicken.
00:10:51.000 So it's dangerous to be an activist if you are not really subtle or if you aren't skillful in what you're doing.
00:11:01.000 Being an activist is awesome.
00:11:02.000 Just make sure that you're graceful when you do it.
00:11:04.000 Well, not only that, you have to have a real objective sense of what actions you're putting out there and how those actions are going to be perceived.
00:11:13.000 If you fake it, people can see through it and it seems lame.
00:11:16.000 Well, there's some people that have this idea that their idea, what they're protesting against, is more important than anything that's going to disrupt, anything that's going to involve that, like Greenpeace.
00:11:25.000 Have you seen what Greenpeace did with the Nazca lines? 0.97
00:11:28.000 Oh yeah, they fucked him up. 1.00
00:11:29.000 It's so fucking crazy. 1.00
00:11:31.000 These dumb assholes went to the Nazca lines and they set up a green... 1.00
00:11:36.000 What's Nazca lines? 1.00
00:11:37.000 Nazca lines are these... 0.81
00:11:38.000 They don't even know how old they are.
00:11:40.000 Okay?
00:11:40.000 They're thousands of years old.
00:11:42.000 Meanwhile, I'm like...
00:11:42.000 These lines...
00:11:43.000 They don't even know how old they are.
00:11:45.000 They're thousands of years old.
00:11:46.000 I think they've dated them.
00:11:47.000 You just revealed that you're an immortal.
00:11:49.000 What are they?
00:11:50.000 They've dated them to more than a thousand years.
00:11:52.000 Whatever it is.
00:11:52.000 Animals?
00:11:53.000 There are all sorts of geometric patterns, animals, all sorts of different things.
00:11:58.000 Some of them are animals, some of them are spiders.
00:12:00.000 There are all these weird patterns you can only see from the sky.
00:12:03.000 Yeah, I'm sorry.
00:12:03.000 Oh, patterns.
00:12:03.000 Okay.
00:12:04.000 So they're patterns that are made on these flat plains.
00:12:09.000 And some of them are just a bunch of rocks that are pieced together in these lines.
00:12:13.000 And people have left them undisturbed because they're so cool forever.
00:12:18.000 So you can't just go there and walk around on them. 0.98
00:12:22.000 These assholes went there and they used some of the stones as paperweights. 0.99
00:12:27.000 They picked some of the rocks off the ground to put a sign up. 1.00
00:12:31.000 A Greenpeace sign.
00:12:35.000 Do you got a photo of it, Jamie? 1.00
00:12:37.000 What dicks. 1.00
00:12:37.000 Pull it up. 1.00
00:12:39.000 You're so douchey and arrogant. 0.99
00:12:41.000 It sucks because a lot of what Greenpeace does is really good, which is they stop people from killing whales. 1.00
00:12:46.000 The lines of Nazca. 0.92
00:12:48.000 There's photos, Jamie.
00:12:49.000 Go to photos.
00:12:50.000 Greenpeace-Nazca lines.
00:12:52.000 Duncan, remember when we beat up a seal outside of a Prada store for Greenpeace? 1.00
00:12:57.000 So look what these assholes did. 0.99
00:13:00.000 See how cool that design is? 1.00
00:13:02.000 That pattern? 0.99
00:13:03.000 That pattern has been there for a long fucking time. 0.99
00:13:07.000 Oh, right. 0.99
00:13:08.000 And they were using stones from that to put their sign down.
00:13:12.000 What's that about?
00:13:13.000 With the foot thing.
00:13:14.000 So they weren't disturbing people? 0.99
00:13:16.000 I don't know what the fuck they think they're doing. 0.98
00:13:19.000 They're still disturbing it. 0.99
00:13:20.000 By doing that, like sometimes standing on that... 0.99
00:13:23.000 Look, your fucking footprints are also on that paper. 0.99
00:13:25.000 I can see the bottom of your tread. 1.00
00:13:27.000 You know what that means? 1.00
00:13:28.000 That means you stood on that shit. 1.00
00:13:30.000 You stood on that shit somewhere, and I'm supposed to believe that you're doing this all ethically? 1.00
00:13:35.000 It backfired. 1.00
00:13:35.000 Yeah, it backfired. 1.00
00:13:36.000 They shouldn't have done that.
00:13:37.000 It backfired. 1.00
00:13:38.000 And that sucks, because all the people who are doing good work look like assholes now. 0.99
00:13:43.000 Exactly, exactly. 1.00
00:13:44.000 That sucks. 0.98
00:13:45.000 Yeah. 0.95
00:13:46.000 Okay, so this is the actual...
00:13:49.000 Wow, those are the lines like that?
00:13:51.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:13:52.000 Wow, what makes them?
00:13:53.000 We don't know.
00:13:54.000 That's so cool.
00:13:54.000 They don't know who made them.
00:13:56.000 They really don't know. 1.00
00:13:57.000 That shit? 1.00
00:13:59.000 Wow. 1.00
00:14:00.000 That's not just like movement, like magnetic movement, right?
00:14:04.000 Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:14:05.000 These are made.
00:14:06.000 I mean, someone definitely, definitely, without a doubt, made up.
00:14:08.000 Is that in sand or is that in stone?
00:14:12.000 This is so funny.
00:14:13.000 Some people think the geometric ones could indicate a flow of water that's connected to rituals to summon water.
00:14:20.000 The spiders, birds, plants could be fertility symbols.
00:14:23.000 Other possible explanations include irrigation schemes or giant astronomical calendars.
00:14:29.000 Why isn't everyone trying to figure it out?
00:14:30.000 That looks like a bird.
00:14:32.000 Yeah, well, they're definitely trying to figure it out.
00:14:33.000 There's a dog.
00:14:34.000 There's a monkey.
00:14:35.000 What?
00:14:36.000 No.
00:14:36.000 Have you seen the monkey?
00:14:37.000 Yeah, pull up the monkey, Jeremy.
00:14:41.000 They're so good. 1.00
00:14:42.000 There's a dick butt. 1.00
00:14:44.000 There's a spider. 1.00
00:14:45.000 Dick butt. 0.99
00:14:46.000 What's his name? 1.00
00:14:47.000 If you keep scrolling, you'll find a monkey down there.
00:14:51.000 There's a monkey in one of them.
00:14:52.000 It's really cool. 0.99
00:14:53.000 There's birds with bird feet and shit. 0.99
00:14:56.000 There's a gang of them. 1.00
00:14:57.000 How did Bill Cosby and Ecstasy get mixed in with that?
00:15:00.000 It's weird to see the images.
00:15:01.000 Hashtags.
00:15:02.000 People hashtag everything.
00:15:04.000 Hashtag Bill Cosby.
00:15:05.000 Well, do you remember when they used to do that with websites?
00:15:08.000 They would code certain words into websites, just like a person.
00:15:12.000 Porn, porn, porn, funny, funny. 0.56
00:15:13.000 Yeah, people think it's an alien, that thing, that person with the eyeballs. 1.00
00:15:17.000 Oh, click on that.
00:15:19.000 Whoa.
00:15:20.000 Yeah, but that's how my daughter draws people. 1.00
00:15:23.000 Yeah.
00:15:24.000 So, you know, everybody says it's an alien, it's an alien.
00:15:28.000 Well, maybe.
00:15:29.000 Maybe it's like a two-year-old.
00:15:31.000 Is that Star Trek once?
00:15:31.000 Might be a giant two-year-old.
00:15:33.000 Might be really shitty artists. 1.00
00:15:36.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:15:37.000 For thousands of years, the shitty artists of the Pran Gedi. 1.00
00:15:40.000 Like, I had this conversation with this dude who was trying to tell me about, you know, these images that were on cave walls. 0.94
00:15:45.000 Were, you know, aliens.
00:15:47.000 Depictions of aliens.
00:15:48.000 It was Graham Hancock, who I love.
00:15:50.000 But I was like, come on, man.
00:15:51.000 That might not be an alien. 1.00
00:15:52.000 That could be a lot of shit. 1.00
00:15:54.000 These people... 1.00
00:15:55.000 They want to believe.
00:15:56.000 Not only that, but it was thousands of years ago.
00:15:59.000 Just what they saw back then.
00:16:02.000 I think it was aliens. 1.00
00:16:03.000 That's when they fucked us. 1.00
00:16:06.000 Pull up the monkey, Jamie. 1.00
00:16:08.000 I need to see this monkey.
00:16:09.000 I want to see the thing before.
00:16:11.000 Just type in monkey.
00:16:12.000 Because it's really cool.
00:16:13.000 It's got a curly tail.
00:16:14.000 It's crazy.
00:16:14.000 Wait, go down a little bit.
00:16:15.000 Go down a little bit.
00:16:16.000 Down more, more, more, more, more, more.
00:16:18.000 Up, up a little.
00:16:18.000 Stop.
00:16:20.000 Up.
00:16:21.000 Forget it.
00:16:22.000 I forgot it.
00:16:22.000 It's gone.
00:16:23.000 I can't find it.
00:16:23.000 Well, it was a dog to the left.
00:16:25.000 You see that one to the far left, Jamie?
00:16:26.000 About three down?
00:16:28.000 Oh, it's okay.
00:16:29.000 Let's try to find the monkey.
00:16:33.000 Where's that monkey? 1.00
00:16:34.000 Where's the fucking monkey, man? 1.00
00:16:35.000 Come on. 1.00
00:16:36.000 Why are they hiding the monkey from us?
00:16:37.000 No.
00:16:38.000 Well, if you go to the Wikipedia, you can see the monkey.
00:16:40.000 How do you spell it?
00:16:41.000 Nazca? 0.81
00:16:42.000 Oh, wow, cool.
00:16:42.000 Nazca.
00:16:43.000 All right, see that?
00:16:43.000 Here it is.
00:16:45.000 Looks like it's puking or something.
00:16:47.000 It's on the Wikipedia, if you go to the Wikipedia.
00:16:49.000 Look at the monkey, man.
00:16:50.000 Oh, the way!
00:16:51.000 How big is that?
00:16:52.000 How big is that?
00:16:52.000 How big is that?
00:16:53.000 Look, you can see it there.
00:16:54.000 Oh, it's huge.
00:16:55.000 It's enormous.
00:16:56.000 How big is a person?
00:16:57.000 A toe?
00:16:58.000 I don't know.
00:16:59.000 That's a good question.
00:17:01.000 That's a very good question.
00:17:02.000 But they're really big.
00:17:03.000 I mean, you see when those people were walking around.
00:17:06.000 I mean, these are like...
00:17:07.000 Oh, right.
00:17:08.000 It's weird.
00:17:08.000 They were laying that down.
00:17:09.000 It looks like it was drawn with a finger on a tablet or something.
00:17:13.000 It doesn't look like a shit ton of people spent a long time.
00:17:17.000 Look, the tail kind of wore out.
00:17:18.000 They've had some damage with mudslides, too, apparently.
00:17:22.000 Yeah, but they really, there's all sorts of explanations.
00:17:26.000 So nobody goes there, they just look at it.
00:17:28.000 Yeah.
00:17:28.000 And then the Greenpeace people went there.
00:17:30.000 I think aliens came, visited these people, gave them, like, showed them some incredible shit. 0.99
00:17:36.000 They left. 0.99
00:17:37.000 The people want them to come back.
00:17:39.000 So they draw these shapes on the ground, hoping that they'll return.
00:17:43.000 It's classic cargo cult behavior.
00:17:45.000 That's where it all is, right?
00:17:46.000 In the same place in Peru?
00:17:47.000 Yeah.
00:17:48.000 Yeah, it's just one area.
00:17:50.000 It's really fascinating also because there's what look like landing strips there.
00:17:56.000 Yeah.
00:17:56.000 These long parallel lines.
00:17:58.000 They want them to come back.
00:17:59.000 That's what it is.
00:18:00.000 That's gotta be that.
00:18:01.000 That's what it is.
00:18:01.000 Yeah.
00:18:02.000 They want them to come back.
00:18:03.000 It doesn't have to be. 0.99
00:18:04.000 It could be they just, you know, they just figured out how to draw shit in the ground that you could see from the sky. 0.98
00:18:09.000 Maybe they just thought it was an interesting way to do something. 0.99
00:18:11.000 That they couldn't see.
00:18:12.000 Well, they could, they just couldn't see it really well.
00:18:16.000 You know, you can only really truly see what it is when you're up above it.
00:18:20.000 But I mean, it's not impossible that they could measure it and do it all on the ground.
00:18:24.000 I'm just proposing, you know, being the devil's advocate, like it's not impossible that they did those.
00:18:29.000 You could see the ground.
00:18:30.000 I mean, you're looking down at your feet.
00:18:32.000 It's not like it's invisible to you.
00:18:34.000 If you're gonna get me to help you.
00:18:35.000 Do a 12-mile-wide monkey truck?
00:18:38.000 It's not that big.
00:18:39.000 They're not that big.
00:18:40.000 They're not that big.
00:18:40.000 How big is it?
00:18:41.000 They're, you know, a few hundred feet wide, I think, the really big ones, but they're not like 12 miles long or anything crazy.
00:18:48.000 Maybe I'd do it.
00:18:49.000 The lines themselves, they're superficial.
00:18:51.000 They're only 10 to 30 centimeters deep and could be washed away.
00:18:55.000 Really?
00:18:56.000 Yeah.
00:18:56.000 So that's why nobody goes there because they'll wear it down?
00:18:58.000 It's only ever received a very small amount of rain.
00:19:01.000 But there's issues also that the great changes that we're seeing to the climate, that it might start raining there. 0.99
00:19:08.000 Isn't that fucked? 0.99
00:19:09.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:19:10.000 Or they'll get crops. 0.56
00:19:12.000 Well, at least, you know, everybody's like really hooked up.
00:19:15.000 Yeah, I'll take crops over... 1.00
00:19:16.000 Yeah, crops would be better than the stupid lines, right? 0.99
00:19:19.000 But everybody's really like... 1.00
00:19:21.000 Shut up, eat this. 0.97
00:19:22.000 They have it in their head that, you know, this site is like, it's super important, but we have all the images. 0.99
00:19:29.000 Once we have the images, if the water comes and washes everything away, at least we've documented.
00:19:34.000 We know these people made these things.
00:19:37.000 We don't know why or when.
00:19:38.000 They think it's the Nazca culture, which is like, I think it said here, 400 to 650 AD. So they lived there and maybe carved those things?
00:19:48.000 They think.
00:19:48.000 So that's over a thousand years ago.
00:19:51.000 That's, you know, more than as much as 1500 years ago.
00:19:55.000 Could be longer. 1.00
00:19:56.000 Crazy shit, man. 1.00
00:19:57.000 They don't really have any explanation for why, but there's a lot of, I mean, it could be aliens, right? 1.00
00:20:04.000 I mean, if we can go to Mars, man, we can send a robot to Mars.
00:20:08.000 It's so arrogant to think that we're the only ones that could do that.
00:20:11.000 I've never seen any evidence whatsoever that's even remotely compelling that aliens have visited here.
00:20:17.000 None of it.
00:20:18.000 None of it that's outside of other, like, there's not one thing that stands out where you say that had to be aliens.
00:20:24.000 It couldn't have just been really smart people.
00:20:26.000 Not one thing.
00:20:27.000 Yeah, why wouldn't any of them have left anything?
00:20:29.000 Well, they might have.
00:20:30.000 They might have.
00:20:31.000 When we're looking at the pyramids, what we might be looking at is someone's knowledge and information from another culture.
00:20:38.000 Well, don't the pyramids somehow point to Syria?
00:20:43.000 Sort of.
00:20:44.000 Sort of.
00:20:44.000 Well, it depends.
00:20:45.000 See, there's a thing called the procession, the equinoxes.
00:20:47.000 So the Earth spins.
00:20:50.000 There's like a wobble to the Earth.
00:20:52.000 And so when you see the stars, it's not always the same.
00:20:56.000 And it wobbles like every X amount of thousands of years.
00:21:00.000 So depending upon where you think these were constructed, you would have a different star line.
00:21:06.000 You'd have a different thing you would see. 0.99
00:21:08.000 There's a guy named John Anthony West, who's just amazing when it comes to this shit. 0.96
00:21:13.000 His whole video series, it's called Magical Egypt. 0.98
00:21:16.000 It's so good.
00:21:17.000 If you've never... 1.00
00:21:18.000 It's like, if you're not even interested at all in Egypt, you're like, eh, that's fucking boring, a bunch of people living in the sand like assholes. 1.00
00:21:24.000 If you watch one of these videos... 1.00
00:21:27.000 Who would say that?
00:21:28.000 I would.
00:21:29.000 I love it.
00:21:29.000 I would, if I was high.
00:21:30.000 Just being silly. 0.91
00:21:32.000 If I was just trying to be funny, I would say that. 1.00
00:21:32.000 People living in the sand like assholes. 1.00
00:21:34.000 But his videos just are super in-depth about the construction methods and how big it is and all the magical things about the way they built them. 1.00
00:21:45.000 They think that it was a culture that lived a long fucking time before, we think.
00:21:50.000 Not just like 2,500 BC, but he's of the notion that it's like 10,000 plus BC. And if you go to 10,000 BC, apparently where the lion is, the Sphinx, where it's pointing, would be directly over the constellation Leo.
00:22:07.000 I like the serious theory better, the dog star.
00:22:07.000 Ooh.
00:22:10.000 What is that?
00:22:11.000 It's like Robert Anton Wilson's crazy idea that...
00:22:18.000 We are possibly currently existing in the Sirius Star Cluster and we're having this experience of reality.
00:22:29.000 Pumped into our consciousness as a form of training for something.
00:22:33.000 Like matrix pods?
00:22:35.000 Yeah, matrix pods.
00:22:37.000 So there's like clues left in the simulator pointing back home and just as a little cookie, like even video games, you know?
00:22:46.000 Or maybe people a long time ago were more aware of the fact that this is an interdimensional A kind of Hogwarts for young godlings who have the potential to become universe creators.
00:23:01.000 But before they're released to create their own dimensions, they have to go through this infinite loop again and again and again until you learn that the most important thing is to love the people around you more than you love yourself.
00:23:12.000 And then, boom!
00:23:14.000 Then you can be a god. 1.00
00:23:15.000 Well, yeah, then we can trust you to fuck around with our black hole machine or whatever. 1.00
00:23:20.000 I'm not going to put you in charge of black holes while you're a selfish shithead. 1.00
00:23:26.000 That always seems to me like if that was really like a plot, if someone had designed people with this sort of puzzle in front of them, the plot is, eventually they're going to get intelligent enough to figure out the plot. 0.99
00:23:38.000 That seems to me to be like a really shitty way of doing things.
00:23:42.000 Yeah.
00:23:42.000 It's like, there's God, that's like very- How do you just tell them how to do it?
00:23:45.000 It's very God-like.
00:23:46.000 Yeah.
00:23:47.000 You will learn eventually.
00:23:47.000 It's very God-like.
00:23:48.000 Just tell me.
00:23:50.000 That's not the way you teach kids.
00:23:51.000 Well, in that sense, it's like- You learn eventually.
00:23:53.000 That confusion that people feel, and like the existential angst of being a person where you don't know what the fuck you are, where are you going, what happens when I die, like, almost universally that needs to be plugged up. 0.90
00:24:05.000 Whether it's plugged up with this alien- Yes. 0.97
00:24:09.000 Whether it's plugged up with a Mormon story, whatever.
00:24:13.000 You just got to plug it up.
00:24:14.000 You're talking about that aching feeling of terror.
00:24:21.000 What are we doing here?
00:24:23.000 What are we doing here, though?
00:24:24.000 I understand.
00:24:25.000 There's a great existentialist philosopher slash author, Camus.
00:24:31.000 You ever heard of Camus?
00:24:32.000 Of course I haven't heard of Camus.
00:24:35.000 You haven't?
00:24:36.000 No!
00:24:37.000 The Stranger is one of my favorite books.
00:24:38.000 You'd love him, man.
00:24:40.000 You'd love him.
00:24:42.000 My mother died yesterday, or was it the day before?
00:24:46.000 I can't remember.
00:24:47.000 That's the first line.
00:24:48.000 Yeah, it's really good. 0.99
00:24:50.000 But that thing that you're talking about, that aching fucking thing, his premise, C-A-M-U-S, his premise in a lot of... 0.98
00:25:01.000 Of his ilk, their premise is that that is being human. 0.99
00:25:05.000 Like that awful feeling of having a hole that you are constantly trying to plug up.
00:25:10.000 What's the name of his book?
00:25:12.000 Well, The Myth of Sisyphus, The Stranger.
00:25:15.000 Yeah, The Stranger's a novel.
00:25:16.000 Yeah, try The Myth of Sisyphus if you want to get into the philosophy angle.
00:25:20.000 But it's pretty cool stuff, but it will give you that chilling kind of...
00:25:25.000 How do you spell Sisyphus?
00:25:26.000 S-Y... S-Y-S-Y-P-H-U-S? Sisyphus?
00:25:33.000 Sisyphus.
00:25:34.000 You know what's beautiful?
00:25:35.000 I don't really need to totally know that.
00:25:36.000 No, it'll fill in for you.
00:25:38.000 Throw it in the Google.
00:25:40.000 Next thing you know, it'll be on the Kindle.
00:25:41.000 Crack, crack. 0.87
00:25:42.000 You know Sisyphus.
00:25:44.000 You know who that is?
00:25:45.000 Sisyphus was cursed.
00:25:45.000 Sisyphus.
00:25:47.000 It's a Greek myth.
00:25:48.000 It was cursed by the gods to eternally push a boulder up to the very top of a hill and then to let it roll back down the hill.
00:25:55.000 Right when it gets to the top, it'll roll all the way back down.
00:25:57.000 I love that story.
00:25:58.000 And so this is the...
00:25:59.000 Eternally, right?
00:26:00.000 Forever.
00:26:01.000 So some existentialists look at the human predicament, and they point out the fact that you're going to die.
00:26:09.000 No one will remember you in a few hundred years.
00:26:12.000 Most human achievements that have happened in the past are completely lost, gone, forgotten.
00:26:17.000 Even though they're in history, it's still ultimately a meaningless thing in the sense that you have this...
00:26:22.000 Inevitable personal extinction that's going to happen.
00:26:25.000 And so the predicament in life is one of being Sisyphus.
00:26:30.000 Here we are. 0.97
00:26:31.000 Anything we do, push it up the fucking hell, it's going to like roll back down. 0.99
00:26:34.000 We got to start over. 0.99
00:26:35.000 Push it up the hell, roll back down. 0.92
00:26:37.000 This is a kind of human archetype.
00:26:40.000 For how do we, in the midst of what appears to be meaninglessness in the infinite scale, find meaning in human endeavors when the whole thing's going to get wiped out by the sun?
00:26:54.000 Yeah, some of those philosophers have brought them to God.
00:26:56.000 What's that?
00:26:57.000 Some of those existentialists have brought them to God because they were like, this must be the answer.
00:27:02.000 Weirdly, there are theological or theistic existentialists, like Soren Kierkegaard.
00:27:07.000 Some of them are, and do you believe in God?
00:27:10.000 Yeah, which is weird, but most of them are like, there's nothing.
00:27:12.000 Yeah, then they're the ones who are just like, no, it's just all nausea and confusion, my friends.
00:27:18.000 See, I don't buy that, because I don't buy them knowing.
00:27:22.000 I don't buy anyone that says, no, it's nothing.
00:27:25.000 No, there's nothing.
00:27:26.000 How do you know there's nothing?
00:27:28.000 You have no idea.
00:27:29.000 Yeah, but when there's no examples, there's no proof for something.
00:27:32.000 You don't even bring it up.
00:27:32.000 You're right.
00:27:33.000 Right, you don't bring it up, but you don't say it's not something either.
00:27:39.000 But Ari, you land more in that camp, don't you?
00:27:41.000 It's not.
00:27:42.000 It's not even part of the conversation. 1.00
00:27:43.000 Get out of here with that shit. 1.00
00:27:45.000 What if fish were once bears? 1.00
00:27:50.000 Well, if you look at the fossil record, Mr. Deere...
00:27:53.000 Is there any reason to think that?
00:27:54.000 Otherwise, what are you talking about? 0.97
00:27:56.000 I think there's reason to think that fish or bears or whatever the fuck you want to think if it gets you in the zone. 0.95
00:27:56.000 I think there is. 0.95
00:28:02.000 It's like...
00:28:02.000 Right.
00:28:03.000 Because there's like a...
00:28:04.000 That's like taking two dribbles before you take a foul shot.
00:28:07.000 It's just like ritual.
00:28:08.000 There you go.
00:28:08.000 Ritual makes you feel better.
00:28:09.000 That's fine.
00:28:10.000 That thing you just described, the two dribbles before the foul shot...
00:28:13.000 That's called chaos magic.
00:28:13.000 Yeah.
00:28:15.000 That's the roots of a magical system that's based on the idea that these symbols themselves, they lack any inherent meaning outside of the mind state that they place you in.
00:28:26.000 And so if they help you transform your will into reality...
00:28:32.000 So if that ritual helps you score...
00:28:35.000 If whatever the fucking thing is that you do prior to sitting down to write or prior to whatever it is that your job happens to be, if that actually puts your mind in a state where you are more likely to receive inspiration or you're going to be more graceful or athletic, 0.99
00:28:52.000 then that's all that fucking matters. 0.99
00:28:55.000 Who cares if it's a lie? 0.99
00:28:56.000 Yeah, that's all that matters.
00:28:57.000 The symbols themselves, are you really going to worry over the actual existence of an elephant-headed god that can shrink himself down and ride around on a mouse?
00:29:08.000 If he's got a good family unit over it and you're raised well, then it's like, alright, fine.
00:29:11.000 I don't think the issue is a belief system as much as the issue is getting caught up in an ideology that you can't question. 0.98
00:29:19.000 When you do that, if you want to go in the Thor camp or whatever camp you want to go to and you believe is the grand ruler of the fucking... 0.98
00:29:27.000 Zeus. 0.98
00:29:29.000 Yeah, no matter who it is.
00:29:30.000 Name of God.
00:29:31.000 Odin.
00:29:31.000 Odin, right?
00:29:32.000 Praise Odin.
00:29:33.000 Praise Odin.
00:29:34.000 Yes. 0.98
00:29:35.000 Anytime you can't question anything, you're fucksville.
00:29:39.000 If you have something you believe in, that's probably empowering.
00:29:43.000 What's not empowering is when you subscribe to an ideology.
00:29:46.000 Because if you believe that there's some all-eternal, loving God that's looking over you and judging you every day, and that you have to do your best to make Him proud, that is your Divine Father, He created you, and you know deep in your DNA what the good things you're supposed to do is.
00:30:02.000 If you really go live your life like that, you'll probably live a pretty fucking cool life.
00:30:07.000 Yep. 0.93
00:30:07.000 You'll be really nice to people. 0.93
00:30:08.000 You'd be super righteous. 0.99
00:30:09.000 You'd want to make your daddy God all proud of you and shit. 0.99
00:30:12.000 The problem is when you subscribe to an ideology and that doesn't let you question anything. 0.99
00:30:18.000 The problem is not believing in a God.
00:30:20.000 The problem is now what do you have to do because you believe that God?
00:30:23.000 Well, now you have to stop gay marriage. 1.00
00:30:25.000 You have to stop guys from masturbating. 0.97
00:30:27.000 You have to stop people from doing this and stop people from doing that. 0.82
00:30:30.000 Yeah, you have to listen to me because my way is the right way and the Lord is the true Lord.
00:30:35.000 Islam is the truth.
00:30:37.000 All of that stuff. 1.00
00:30:38.000 It's all the same shit. 1.00
00:30:39.000 It's all the same shit. 1.00
00:30:40.000 The ideology is the problem. 1.00
00:30:41.000 It's not the believing in God. 1.00
00:30:43.000 What does this motherfucker God want you to go do? 1.00
00:30:45.000 Does he want you to strap dynamite to your chest and walk into a cafe? 1.00
00:30:49.000 But God gets associated, just like you were talking about the chicken lady.
00:30:52.000 God gets associated with that. 1.00
00:30:53.000 So you want to be like, no, fuck them and fuck the thing they believe in. 1.00
00:30:56.000 Exactly. 1.00
00:30:57.000 Well, yeah, it's like what happens is there's violent people in the world and they like to be violent.
00:31:03.000 They enjoy it.
00:31:04.000 It gets them off, but they can't rationalize the fact that they enjoy being violent because it seems so monstrous and animalistic.
00:31:11.000 So you need a reason.
00:31:14.000 Religion is a fantastic way to justify every dark activity that humans engage in. 1.00
00:31:21.000 Did you see the thing that popped up on the internet? 0.99
00:31:24.000 Isis's Guide to Having Child Sex Slaves? 0.99
00:31:27.000 Did you see that? 0.98
00:31:28.000 They have a guidebook, which is like, they have questions.
00:31:31.000 There's important questions. 0.98
00:31:32.000 If you have a slave, That's underage that's a girl and you're wanting or I guess a guy I don't I guess they don't like gay people so if you have an underage sex slave that's a girl and you are in isis you're gonna have some questions right the number one being when do I get to her yeah and this is a guidebook where they're like well can you her well if she's able to have sex in this guidebook it says if she's able to have sex Yeah. 0.98
00:31:59.000 But if she's not, then you can enjoy her in other ways. 0.99
00:32:02.000 Like, just don't penetrate her. 0.92
00:32:04.000 But that's a real thing, man.
00:32:05.000 They're putting that and they're quoting...
00:32:06.000 How do we know this is real?
00:32:08.000 And how do we know this is like some CIA plant?
00:32:10.000 We don't know that.
00:32:11.000 And I did think that, like, this could be propaganda.
00:32:11.000 It could be...
00:32:13.000 Yeah, when you brought it up, I thought that.
00:32:14.000 This could be propaganda.
00:32:15.000 It's the first thing.
00:32:16.000 But they are taking slaves.
00:32:17.000 It is a thing that they are taking slaves, and some of those slaves are women. 1.00
00:32:21.000 And if you have a female slave that you've taken, that you've captured from your enemy, then you are going to have some questions about, as a religious person...
00:32:30.000 If you want to live ethically, absolutely.
00:32:31.000 Yeah, what are you going to do? 1.00
00:32:33.000 How do you ethically fuck this girl? 1.00
00:32:35.000 Like when the dishwasher was invented, Jews had to go to the rabbis and said, are we allowed to put milk and meat dishes in here? 1.00
00:32:42.000 What's the ruling here? 1.00
00:32:43.000 That kind of shit. 1.00
00:32:44.000 That kind of logic, they use that based on their slaves and their sex slaves. 1.00
00:32:47.000 What is the answer to that?
00:32:48.000 A lot of Jews have separate dishwashers. 1.00
00:32:50.000 That's hilarious.
00:32:53.000 Oh my goodness, if you want to be kosher. 0.99
00:32:56.000 The main thing is this. 0.98
00:32:58.000 I mean, as awful as the sex slavery is and as ridiculous as that is, the structure is always the same. 0.98
00:33:04.000 Which is a very manipulative, charismatic, power-hungry, narcissistic guy has convinced some dumb people that he has got the line in to God, and as long as they're coming to him to ask him what to do, it's great. 0.99
00:33:19.000 That's the main structure. 0.95
00:33:20.000 The structure needs to be that a certain amount of people believe that there is one person who has contact with an invisible guy, and that that person will tell them what's right and what's wrong.
00:33:32.000 It's very comforting.
00:33:33.000 Yeah, so you don't have to worry about it.
00:33:34.000 You don't have to worry about it.
00:33:35.000 Just go to the guy and ask him.
00:33:37.000 You can finger her. 0.66
00:33:38.000 There's no moral quantities anymore.
00:33:39.000 You can finger her. 0.66
00:33:42.000 It's so dark.
00:33:43.000 But really, when you see what's happening there is this incredibly awful version of S&M. It's sadomasochism.
00:33:52.000 You're going to your daddy to find out... 1.00
00:33:54.000 How the fuck? 1.00
00:33:55.000 It's like this dark state of mass. 1.00
00:33:57.000 That's what it is.
00:33:58.000 It's S&M. You're going to your daddy to find out if you can put milk with whatever in your washing machine.
00:34:04.000 You're going to daddy to find out if you can use birth control. 1.00
00:34:07.000 It's always sex.
00:34:07.000 A lot of times it's sex related.
00:34:10.000 Like the Pope just said something like, didn't he just come out and say, like, you don't have to... 0.76
00:34:14.000 He was talking about how to have sex.
00:34:16.000 You know, they'll tell you you can't use birth control.
00:34:18.000 You know, they tell you things involving sex.
00:34:21.000 Like a man... 1.00
00:34:23.000 Who is connected to an invisible being will tell you how to fuck on this planet. 1.00
00:34:29.000 How crazy is that? 1.00
00:34:31.000 It's so stupid. 1.00
00:34:32.000 I mean, it is stupid. 1.00
00:34:35.000 It is as dumb as it gets. 1.00
00:34:37.000 But when you consider the fact that it is, not only is it real, but it is like these people doing this are behind businesses that are making billions of dollars every year. 0.99
00:34:48.000 And that money is going in the direction of paying for lobbyists to control government and politics.
00:34:53.000 That's when it becomes sinister.
00:34:55.000 That's when it becomes sinister.
00:34:57.000 If you look at it from a big picture perspective, do you think it's possible for people to have gotten where we've gotten as quickly as we've gotten without religion, without some organizing ethical behavior guideline?
00:35:10.000 Because of the big jump early on.
00:35:11.000 Now it's holding us back, but back then it was really helping us.
00:35:14.000 Like, guys, guys, don't kill. 0.70
00:35:15.000 Well, we would be raping and pillaging still.
00:35:18.000 There is a Judeo-Christian way of living, they say, which is just like the basic tenets, like don't murder, don't steal, don't rape.
00:35:25.000 Well, it's almost like an idea of virus that is introduced into a system in order to force growth in a certain direction.
00:35:33.000 I wonder if it would have gotten society without that.
00:35:34.000 I doubt it.
00:35:35.000 I doubt it.
00:35:37.000 Greeks. 1.00
00:35:37.000 Dudes want to fuck. 1.00
00:35:38.000 Didn't the Greeks? 1.00
00:35:38.000 People want to rape. 1.00
00:35:40.000 Yeah, but they had a gang of different gods. 0.98
00:35:42.000 But I think they were kind of like...
00:35:43.000 Greek gods.
00:35:44.000 I think even back then they were...
00:35:45.000 I think even back then...
00:35:47.000 I don't know for sure.
00:35:48.000 You know what?
00:35:48.000 I'm not even going to...
00:35:49.000 What?
00:35:49.000 That part of me that likes to chime in as though I know anything about Greek gods is about to come in.
00:35:54.000 I don't have no idea.
00:35:56.000 I have no idea.
00:35:57.000 I don't know if it's in the Roman ones or the Greek ones.
00:35:59.000 Yeah, I'm not really sure about that, man.
00:36:00.000 But I do think that it's the predicament, regardless of that...
00:36:05.000 Whether that was a kind of caste that needed to be placed on humanity as a whole to allow this growth or this thing to happen.
00:36:15.000 Now we're in a place where it's time to take off the caste. 0.99
00:36:21.000 It's starting to smell like somebody sneezed into a rotting vagina. 1.00
00:36:26.000 Well, it's being replaced with a new one. 0.99
00:36:28.000 It's being replaced with atheism.
00:36:31.000 Atheism is very much a religion.
00:36:33.000 But we take those tenets of like, yeah, we like that one.
00:36:36.000 But I don't mean it in a negative way.
00:36:38.000 I mean, it's like, and religion's the wrong word.
00:36:41.000 It's an organized group.
00:36:42.000 The people that are a part of it, they subscribe to the ideology of this organized group.
00:36:49.000 And are almost, like for a large percentage at least, I shouldn't say almost the majority, but a large percentage are liberal.
00:36:58.000 A large percentage of atheists are liberal people.
00:37:02.000 They tend to lean left with their ideas.
00:37:05.000 I would say if you had to gauge the difference between the Republican side and the Democrat side, like which one has more atheists, it would clearly be Democrat, right? 0.64
00:37:13.000 Is that right?
00:37:14.000 Am I guessing?
00:37:15.000 I'm just guessing, right?
00:37:16.000 I don't know.
00:37:17.000 Let's see if we're right.
00:37:18.000 I would say that seems pretty logical to think that.
00:37:22.000 It does seem logical, but let's see if it's true.
00:37:25.000 Also, they're super into God, the Republicans.
00:37:29.000 They might have some atheists, but the ones that are super under God, those are more Republicans. 0.92
00:37:33.000 But I don't really know.
00:37:33.000 Right.
00:37:34.000 Can you be a single president?
00:37:36.000 Is that even possible in this country?
00:37:37.000 No way.
00:37:38.000 You can't even be a single president?
00:37:38.000 Nope.
00:37:39.000 You can't be like, no, if you haven't figured that out, I hardly doubt it.
00:37:42.000 Yeah, that's something I was wondering, like, what would happen, like, if Obama, is a president allowed to have another job?
00:37:47.000 Like, can Obama start, like, working on comedy?
00:37:50.000 Could he do stand-up if he wanted to at night if he wasn't working?
00:37:54.000 Yeah, I bet he could.
00:37:56.000 That would be amazing.
00:37:57.000 I've done my job.
00:37:58.000 It's 6.30 p.m.
00:37:59.000 I worked an extra hour.
00:38:01.000 I'm clocked out.
00:38:02.000 A lot of the people in Congress are closeted that are atheists.
00:38:07.000 Closeted atheists. 0.77
00:38:08.000 That's hilarious. 1.00
00:38:09.000 Wow, what a bunch of fucking fakers. 1.00
00:38:12.000 It's saying, there's an article about this on ThinkProgress, why all of the atheists in Congress are closeted. 1.00
00:38:18.000 Car closeted.
00:38:20.000 That's hilarious.
00:38:21.000 They won't say it.
00:38:22.000 They have to pretend.
00:38:23.000 They can't.
00:38:23.000 It's not popular.
00:38:25.000 Atheism is not popular.
00:38:27.000 There's a certain thing that people want to do. 0.99
00:38:29.000 They want to say something really stupid and have everybody else go, yeah. 0.99
00:38:32.000 Like, we're not going to think any more than we already have. 1.00
00:38:35.000 Yeah!
00:38:36.000 And when people say, well, I'll tell you what.
00:38:38.000 I meet somebody and they're an atheist. 1.00
00:38:40.000 I punch them in the face. 1.00
00:38:41.000 I just walk away because they're a damn fool. 1.00
00:38:43.000 Who said that? 1.00
00:38:44.000 Steve Harvey.
00:38:45.000 That's right.
00:38:46.000 I heard that.
00:38:47.000 Did he really?
00:38:48.000 I did it in a white voice.
00:38:49.000 Yes, he did.
00:38:51.000 Yes, he did. 1.00
00:38:51.000 You're a damn fool. 1.00
00:38:53.000 You're a damn fool. 1.00
00:38:54.000 And he gets a bunch of applause. 1.00
00:38:55.000 He gets a bunch of claps. 1.00
00:38:56.000 They're just silly in their brain. 1.00
00:38:57.000 They silly. 1.00
00:38:58.000 They silly. 1.00
00:39:01.000 That's not an argument, PJ Harvey or whatever his name is. 0.98
00:39:04.000 Steve Harvey.
00:39:05.000 What kind of moral compass do you operate under?
00:39:07.000 That's the idea.
00:39:08.000 I can't trust you if you don't believe in the symbol that was created a long time ago by people trying to control other people.
00:39:17.000 Once you go, it's silly, so forget it.
00:39:19.000 Well, there's a book I read, and goddammit, I wish I could remember the name of it, but the very first chapter in the book was talking about how fascinating it is that in the...
00:39:28.000 Old Testament, when God is asking for offerings, he only wants stuff that humans like.
00:39:36.000 He only wants the best thing.
00:39:39.000 God never tells priests to ask people for a jar of wasps.
00:39:47.000 Cows, goats.
00:39:48.000 Now, if the same system worked, then the priest would come out and be like, God wants...
00:39:54.000 They do money! 1.00
00:39:55.000 That's what they do, the fucking people. 1.00
00:39:56.000 Jimmy, whatever his name is. 0.99
00:39:58.000 Yeah, but the difference is money, now it's this ambiguous thing, but back then what was kind of interesting is like you would actually ask for like...
00:40:05.000 A car, a home.
00:40:06.000 A fatted calf, or you'd ask for stuff.
00:40:08.000 Wow, only stuff got men who want. 0.94
00:40:10.000 A new iPad.
00:40:11.000 God wants a new iPad.
00:40:13.000 Send your technology.
00:40:14.000 Yeah, God wants...
00:40:16.000 Yeah, donate your computers.
00:40:17.000 Yeah, it's fascinating that way.
00:40:20.000 But I still, I mean, I do, like, I don't know, I think God's an overused word, but I do think there is a...
00:40:25.000 Well, definitely, like, I don't know what God wants.
00:40:27.000 He didn't really tell us officially. 0.99
00:40:28.000 How about we just give him some of this shit? 1.00
00:40:30.000 It's our favorite shit. 1.00
00:40:31.000 Yeah, just give him something nice. 1.00
00:40:32.000 We don't need cows. 0.99
00:40:33.000 Man, that's really fascinating stuff.
00:40:34.000 I've been reading this book, and it's a controversial book, and some people say that it's like...
00:40:39.000 I don't know.
00:40:40.000 I like the book.
00:40:40.000 It's well-written.
00:40:41.000 It's called Zealot by Reza Aslan.
00:40:46.000 It's the historical Christ, and his premise is that...
00:40:52.000 Regardless of his premise, what's really fascinating is he's just talking about what it was like back then, which is that the Romans were occupying that land and that the priests were actually people who used to be like a religious thing,
00:41:09.000 but they would buy their positions from the Romans, so everybody wanted the Romans gone.
00:41:15.000 Oh, right.
00:41:15.000 So like, you know, in the story, in the Bible, Jesus is crucified between two thieves.
00:41:20.000 And so Reza Aslan says that if you look at the actual word for thief, it actually translates into bandit.
00:41:28.000 And bandit is the word that the Romans used to describe people who are trying to overthrow them. 0.84
00:41:33.000 So Jesus, his premises was somebody who was pro-violence, and wanted to overthrow the Romans and there were a lot of other people like him too and so when people were saying they were like the son of God or the Messiah the term Messiah actually meant like the the king of the Jews somebody who was gonna like lead the liberate the Jews from the Romans it's a really great book in the very first chapter time that would be a cool fucking movie It would be really cool,
00:42:01.000 but when they talk about the...
00:42:05.000 Get that same dude to play it.
00:42:06.000 No, I mean, a lot of what he says is like, if you read in the Bible now, they haven't scrubbed all of the violent stuff he said.
00:42:14.000 One thing he said is something about, I will turn you away.
00:42:17.000 I will turn father against son.
00:42:21.000 If you aren't able to leave your family, then you'll never be able to follow me.
00:42:26.000 It's like all these things which are crazy.
00:42:28.000 Follow me to liberty. 1.00
00:42:29.000 We're going to get the fucking Romans out of here, man. 1.00
00:42:32.000 That was the idea. 1.00
00:42:33.000 These assholes are occupying our country. 1.00
00:42:36.000 They've taken over our religion. 1.00
00:42:37.000 We're going to fucking overthrow them. 1.00
00:42:39.000 And they really couldn't understand why God let the Romans in there in the first place. 0.99
00:42:44.000 So that was a real monkey wrench in their idea.
00:42:47.000 We're the chosen people.
00:42:48.000 We're the chosen people. 0.98
00:42:49.000 But it's like, no, you're not really the fucking chosen people because they're guys who are guarding your temples now, wearing Roman outfits. 0.98
00:42:56.000 Yeah, God freed us from slavery. 0.98
00:42:59.000 Now we're sort of half slaves again.
00:43:00.000 What's going on?
00:43:01.000 And they couldn't – it didn't work, man.
00:43:01.000 Exactly.
00:43:03.000 It was like the two – the paradigm did not fit in with their idea that we're the chosen people. 0.99
00:43:08.000 Suddenly there's these fucking Romans occupying everything. 1.00
00:43:11.000 And so a lot of the messiahs – and there were many messiahs before Jesus, by the way. 0.99
00:43:16.000 John the Baptist executed.
00:43:19.000 Why was he executed?
00:43:20.000 He was executed because they looked at him as a threat to the Roman power structure.
00:43:24.000 All these people getting crucified.
00:43:24.000 That was it.
00:43:26.000 And by the way, man, crucifixion was in back then.
00:43:29.000 Like, they were throwing people on crosses every day.
00:43:32.000 So it was like a constant attempt to, like...
00:43:36.000 Silence the Rebellion.
00:43:37.000 That's it.
00:43:38.000 Silence the Rebellion, yeah.
00:43:40.000 Yeah, Silence the Rebellion.
00:43:41.000 It's really interesting.
00:43:42.000 It's really crazy, but those sort of volatile moments in history, crazed, insane, violent moments of control, and then the repercussions of that control, those are like the engines that fuel change and oftentimes fuel innovation.
00:43:42.000 Great book.
00:43:59.000 And I know we look at them as being horrible moments when they're happening, because they are.
00:44:04.000 For everyone involved. 0.65
00:44:06.000 But for the future, I think all these chaotic moments where there's people struggling to get into a position for power, and the fact that nobody can really hold it, and people have their complaints, and the people that are rising up, they have the will of the people, because the will of the people is, we don't want any of this fucking terror anymore.
00:44:20.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, let's go get them.
00:44:22.000 And then they get in, and they become the person they were fighting against.
00:44:26.000 The process repeats itself over and over again.
00:44:28.000 And it seems like objectively, if you look at it, it's like this process of cleansing or filtering, almost like water coming down from a glacier and going through all those rocks until it becomes pure.
00:44:39.000 It's like it's gotta go through all these trials and tribulations. 0.75
00:44:41.000 There's gotta be all these fucking chaotic moments of horror so we understand what horror is. 0.94
00:44:46.000 We never repeat horror. 0.98
00:44:47.000 You gotta have a holocaust to understand where the 60s came from. 0.91
00:44:51.000 You gotta have these bad moments that sort of make you like long for and accomplish the great heights.
00:44:58.000 This is why I just had Alex Gray on my podcast and I'm not gonna try to repeat what he said about the Jews as the chosen people because they're creating psychedelics, but he did one of his premises because Hoffman was a Jew, but the idea is that we needed Scientific materialism,
00:45:17.000 atheism, we needed people to turn their backs on the ancient version of God so that we could understand the universe at a deep enough level to be able to create, to synthesize LSD and all the various, 0.98
00:45:34.000 like, Choose how to be smart to figure that shit out. 0.99
00:45:37.000 Yeah, it's really cool. 0.98
00:45:38.000 It's kind of what you're saying, which is like we needed, like these phases in human evolution are really important because like if you're caught up in a ridiculous version of the deity, then maybe you're not going to be so inclined to study molecular biology or maybe you're not going to be able to study chemistry in the same way.
00:45:56.000 And without studying that stuff, then we wouldn't have some of the psychoactive compounds that I think A lot of people consider as being one of the potential ways that our species can evolve.
00:46:12.000 And so these psychedelics can actually be ways to connect with the thing that the ancient religions were talking about, and then that thing that ended up being like, turned into like a painted clown.
00:46:26.000 You know, that people, somebody had a vision.
00:46:29.000 You know, Moses by the, what was the burning bush?
00:46:32.000 What was it made of, though?
00:46:34.000 It was called Acacia or something?
00:46:36.000 Yeah, the Acacia bush.
00:46:37.000 Which has what in it?
00:46:38.000 DMT. Dimethyltryptamin.
00:46:39.000 So the premise here is... 1.00
00:46:41.000 He just got it in his fucking head? 0.99
00:46:43.000 Well, the idea of what is... 1.00
00:46:44.000 Well, you're translating things from...
00:46:46.000 If you take that out, what would the story really be?
00:46:47.000 Well, if you're translating something from ancient Hebrew, right, and then you're putting into the Latin and then eventually to the English, when you're doing that, the way they explain things is going to come off very different.
00:46:58.000 Have you ever read Russian stories translated to English?
00:47:01.000 It's so bizarre.
00:47:03.000 If you throw it through Google Translate, It's so hard to understand because their language works so much differently.
00:47:10.000 So by saying that, like, God took the form of a burning bush, they easily could be saying he was smoking DMT. That's right.
00:47:17.000 Easily! 0.99
00:47:18.000 Yeah, that could be a sublime fucking lyric. 1.00
00:47:21.000 You dry that fucking bush out, figure out a way to get the fucking DMT out of it, you smoke it. 0.99
00:47:27.000 And especially if that's how they did it, what if they just lit those bushes on fire and then just breathed it all in? 1.00
00:47:32.000 Just got some out of it.
00:47:33.000 Just breathe in, wholesale smoke.
00:47:35.000 What if they did it totally caveman style? 0.99
00:47:38.000 Just take those bushes, hack them down, dry them out, make a fucking tent, like one of those sweat lodges that the Indians do? 1.00
00:47:44.000 Oh yeah, and then just let it fill up. 0.99
00:47:46.000 Hotbox yourself.
00:47:47.000 Hotbox yourself with DMT. And then he saw God and was like, dude, dude, dude, everybody down there, hold on, shh.
00:47:52.000 I got, oh my god, I got some stuff to tell you.
00:47:54.000 Oh my god.
00:47:55.000 But even he's suspect, because God was telling you not to covet your neighbor's wife, not because your neighbor's wife is in a relationship.
00:48:03.000 It's his wife.
00:48:04.000 He owns it.
00:48:04.000 It's your own wife.
00:48:05.000 Everybody leaves my lives alone.
00:48:07.000 The idea was that the guy owns that wife. 0.93
00:48:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:48:10.000 That's crazy.
00:48:11.000 Like this insane, archaic way of thinking that's connected to that time.
00:48:16.000 So we don't, you know, even if Moses did say those things, we have no idea what the actual words that came out.
00:48:16.000 Yeah.
00:48:23.000 If Moses did have this psychedelic experience... 0.98
00:48:26.000 Yeah, it's like, and not only that, like, who the fuck wrote it down? 0.99
00:48:30.000 Was it Moses? 0.97
00:48:31.000 Moses didn't write it down. 0.99
00:48:33.000 If I told you some shit that happened to me when I was a child, and then you were, it was your job to write a book after I died, oh, you would butcher it. 0.99
00:48:40.000 I would butcher your life, you would butcher my life, we would butcher each other's lives. 0.99
00:48:44.000 If Moses wasn't writing it himself. 0.97
00:48:46.000 From Moses, yeah. 0.99
00:48:47.000 If you're not getting his fucking notebook, who knows what was actually said? 0.98
00:48:52.000 That one's supposed to be written the same way throughout history. 0.99
00:48:55.000 They write every letter the same exact way.
00:48:57.000 That's the written Torah.
00:48:58.000 And then the oral Torah is something different.
00:49:00.000 Hebrew is crazy looking, by the way, as a language.
00:49:02.000 It's cool looking.
00:49:03.000 It's beautiful.
00:49:04.000 And it's so strange and psychedelic.
00:49:07.000 They have musical notes on each one of the letters you can read.
00:49:11.000 Really?
00:49:12.000 Yes.
00:49:12.000 You know what to go up and down?
00:49:13.000 It's wild.
00:49:14.000 So you know how to say it while you're talking?
00:49:17.000 Yeah, when you're reading the Torah out loud.
00:49:20.000 Or your Parsha. 1.00
00:49:21.000 Can you read Hebrew?
00:49:23.000 Yeah, of course. 1.00
00:49:23.000 Fucking crazy, man. 1.00
00:49:24.000 I'd like to learn it. 0.99
00:49:25.000 It's so cool.
00:49:26.000 Dude, you lived in Israel, like, doing religious studies.
00:49:31.000 Was it fun? 0.91
00:49:31.000 Yeah, I mean, it was just like a given for a while, but now that I step back and look at it, I was like, that's pretty fucking cool. 0.91
00:49:37.000 Yeah.
00:49:37.000 I thought it was cool.
00:49:39.000 I lived in Israel for two years.
00:49:42.000 Wow.
00:49:43.000 How old were you?
00:49:44.000 18. 18 to 20. Wow.
00:49:46.000 I got drunk there for the first time. 0.99
00:49:46.000 So it was all pre-pussy. 0.99
00:49:48.000 Pre-pussy. 1.00
00:49:49.000 Yeah, pre-pussy. 1.00
00:49:50.000 Wow. 0.99
00:49:51.000 I didn't even do anything back then.
00:49:52.000 Wow.
00:49:53.000 That's a fascinating story, dude.
00:49:54.000 It was so cool.
00:49:55.000 You take the buses and stuff.
00:49:56.000 What's it like there?
00:49:57.000 Everything's made of stone.
00:49:58.000 Jerusalem's, like, the whole city's made of stone.
00:50:00.000 So the old city's all stone.
00:50:01.000 But everywhere else is, like, stone outside, you know, the buildings.
00:50:05.000 It just looks really pretty.
00:50:07.000 Did you go to that wall where the zombies climbed up in that movie? 0.98
00:50:11.000 That was the most ridiculous. 0.97
00:50:13.000 Like, no security cameras! 0.99
00:50:16.000 Why monitor the wall separating us from a mass of zombies?
00:50:20.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:50:21.000 It's so ridiculous. 0.93
00:50:22.000 We're all dancing and having a great time. 0.81
00:50:24.000 And then all of a sudden it's not fine in Overwatch.
00:50:26.000 He escaped too easily a lot in that movie.
00:50:30.000 Like a plane crash and then only the two of you survived?
00:50:33.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:50:33.000 It's pretty ridiculous. 0.99
00:50:34.000 What? 0.98
00:50:35.000 Yeah.
00:50:36.000 It's like Godzilla.
00:50:37.000 Yeah.
00:50:38.000 Same sort of situation.
00:50:39.000 But so you were there from 18 to 20. 18 to 20. I really got drunk there the first time.
00:50:44.000 So what years was that?
00:50:45.000 Well, first I went, my high school does a half year for a senior year.
00:50:50.000 And then the second semester, four to six months, we go to Israel and we do like a tour group.
00:50:55.000 So that was really two and a half years.
00:50:56.000 So what year, calendar year was this?
00:51:00.000 92, I think January of 92. So this is like Clinton presidency.
00:51:04.000 Yeah, I voted absentee ballot for Clinton.
00:51:06.000 That was the only time I ever voted for president.
00:51:08.000 Did you wear religious garb while you were there?
00:51:11.000 I mean, yarmulke and the tzitzit, the tassels.
00:51:14.000 But man, one thing we loved doing, because there was no black people there, only Ethiopians, and they were in a different part of the town of the country. 0.99
00:51:22.000 We would just yell nigger at each other down the street. 1.00
00:51:26.000 Oh, no. 1.00
00:51:28.000 How dare you?
00:51:29.000 Duncan!
00:51:30.000 Hey, Duncan! 1.00
00:51:32.000 You nigger! 1.00
00:51:33.000 Because it doesn't mean anything to me? 1.00
00:51:35.000 It doesn't mean anything to anybody.
00:51:37.000 That's fascinating.
00:51:39.000 Scariest word you could ever yell out.
00:51:41.000 You'd have to do like a full 360 sweep of your surroundings with a helicopter and then parachute down and yell it to feel super confident.
00:51:51.000 It's like the only word that you can yell out.
00:51:53.000 An eh!
00:51:54.000 Anyone in that group is allowed to punch you. 1.00
00:51:57.000 See, if you yell out cunt, if you yell out cunt, women can't just run up to you and punch you, you know? 1.00
00:52:04.000 But if you yell out nigger, people, they have a free pass to just punch you. 1.00
00:52:09.000 White people too? 1.00
00:52:10.000 Well, it's the only racial slur that is a free pass to violence. 0.99
00:52:15.000 Yeah.
00:52:16.000 Like Chinese? 1.00
00:52:18.000 If you yell out chink, most likely they'll look at you like, you motherfucker, you piece of shit. 1.00
00:52:23.000 But there are certain dudes, not all of them, but there are certain dudes that if they catch you yelling out that word, they will fucking punch you. 1.00
00:52:31.000 It's the Prophet Muhammad of words. 0.98
00:52:37.000 But it's crazy if you're in a place...
00:52:39.000 I mean, there's...
00:52:40.000 There's people that just heard you say that that are going to be offended.
00:52:40.000 Guaranteed.
00:52:43.000 They're like, you know, fuck that guy. 1.00
00:52:45.000 You know, who the fuck does he think he is? 1.00
00:52:46.000 Yelling that shit out. 1.00
00:52:47.000 Dropping n-bombs on the podcast. 1.00
00:52:49.000 22 years ago.
00:52:50.000 No, it doesn't even matter.
00:52:51.000 Just the fact that you even just said it now.
00:52:53.000 Just the fact that I'm making fun of how irresponsible it was to say that.
00:52:53.000 Oh, right.
00:52:57.000 Yeah, you remember?
00:52:58.000 I had that bit about the three magic words, and that was one of them.
00:53:02.000 They're like, you can't even say it.
00:53:05.000 Like, you're not even allowed to say the word.
00:53:07.000 In reference to it. 0.63
00:53:07.000 If you're white. 0.63
00:53:08.000 Yeah.
00:53:09.000 It is a really interesting thing, because symbols are harmless, but somehow they justify violence.
00:53:15.000 Like, whenever this ridiculous thing, or an image of the prophet, a word, whenever it's there, it's like that thing itself is meaningless, harmless, but...
00:53:27.000 It allows violent people an excuse to be violent. 0.51
00:53:33.000 And there is nothing, I think, more satisfying than some people to be violent and righteous at the same time.
00:53:43.000 Like American Sniper.
00:53:43.000 Oh yeah.
00:53:44.000 That guy's like pegging like... 1.00
00:53:46.000 God, that was so fucking dumb. 1.00
00:53:48.000 Oh, it's just such propaganda. 1.00
00:53:49.000 It was just such propaganda.
00:53:51.000 You gotta watch it.
00:53:52.000 Over 160 confirmed kills, not one wrong.
00:53:53.000 Even though every time he was like, I don't know what that is in the guy's hand. 1.00
00:53:56.000 Fuck it, I'm taking the shot. 1.00
00:53:57.000 He's never got it wrong. 1.00
00:53:58.000 Only awesome.
00:53:59.000 Such a rah-rah movie.
00:54:01.000 Yeah, it was really like that.
00:54:03.000 The acting was horrible.
00:54:05.000 Have you seen it?
00:54:06.000 The acting was so bad.
00:54:06.000 No.
00:54:08.000 Howard Stern was raving about it this morning. 1.00
00:54:10.000 Oh, fuck you, old man. 1.00
00:54:11.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00
00:54:13.000 Oh my goodness.
00:54:14.000 The acting was horrible from jump.
00:54:15.000 There was no plot.
00:54:16.000 It was just some scenes.
00:54:17.000 The wife was only annoyed. 1.00
00:54:19.000 The entire time.
00:54:19.000 I haven't seen it.
00:54:20.000 She was just like, why are you going out there again?
00:54:23.000 You've never built a relationship. 1.00
00:54:25.000 You haven't written this fucking movie. 1.00
00:54:28.000 People love it though. 1.00
00:54:29.000 And I don't give a fuck. 0.99
00:54:30.000 At the very end, they go... 0.99
00:54:32.000 Okay, so he comes home. 1.00
00:54:34.000 He's all fucked in the head. 1.00
00:54:35.000 He meets some... 1.00
00:54:36.000 He's working out with his wife.
00:54:39.000 He meets some veterans. 0.99
00:54:40.000 He helps them fucking sniper. 0.99
00:54:41.000 And that's how he gets his life together. 1.00
00:54:43.000 He helps them snipe and shit. 0.99
00:54:44.000 And then he picks one guy up. 0.99
00:54:45.000 And he's like, yeah, we're going to go snipe today.
00:54:47.000 And then just at home on the range.
00:54:49.000 And the guy looks at his wife weird.
00:54:51.000 And then it cuts away and goes...
00:54:52.000 Uh, he was killed by a veteran.
00:54:55.000 Yeah.
00:54:55.000 Oh, it was that guy.
00:54:56.000 Yeah, but they didn't even show what happened.
00:54:58.000 They didn't even show it? 0.98
00:54:59.000 It's a fucking two hour and 20 minute movie show every tour. 1.00
00:55:01.000 Fucking four tours. 1.00
00:55:02.000 Combine them! 1.00
00:55:03.000 But they wouldn't show him.
00:55:03.000 Don't forget that they failed to mention.
00:55:04.000 And they just said, oh, he died.
00:55:05.000 And they showed footage of this funeral procession.
00:55:08.000 Also, the guy is like, Jesse Ventura sued that guy.
00:55:12.000 And won.
00:55:12.000 And won.
00:55:13.000 Yeah, that's how ridiculous the movie was. 0.96
00:55:13.000 That was the guy who lied. 0.96
00:55:15.000 Well, it wasn't just that.
00:55:17.000 I just need some time, baby.
00:55:18.000 There's apparently a whole long laundry list of questionable stories.
00:55:22.000 That was that guy?
00:55:23.000 No wonder. 1.00
00:55:24.000 What a garbage-ass movie. 1.00
00:55:25.000 They probably had to take out the plot. 1.00
00:55:27.000 They did.
00:55:28.000 Well, there was a bunch of other things that he did that he said he did.
00:55:31.000 Like one of them was there was a carjacking where two people were shot and killed. 0.99
00:55:35.000 It read like a fucking Mencia talking about himself. 0.99
00:55:38.000 That's how it saw. 1.00
00:55:38.000 Apparently. 1.00
00:55:41.000 No evidence that the carjacking took place.
00:55:43.000 That was that guy.
00:55:43.000 Oh yeah, that guy.
00:55:45.000 And there was another one where he killed a bunch of people in Katrina.
00:55:48.000 He was a sniper in Katrina.
00:55:49.000 He was shooting looters.
00:55:51.000 And he talked about, which is like, okay. 0.99
00:55:53.000 It's one thing if you're shooting terrorists who have rocket launchers, but you're shooting poor people that are stealing shit because they're involved in chaos because the fucking water has come and surrounded the city and there's no resources. 0.99
00:56:07.000 So you're shooting looters. 0.99
00:56:08.000 We should be really fucking careful about who we celebrate. 0.99
00:56:13.000 That's right, man. 0.99
00:56:14.000 If you're shooting looters... 1.00
00:56:16.000 Yeah, you're a murderer. 0.99
00:56:17.000 We're not talking about war. 1.00
00:56:19.000 Even Michael Moore was talking about his uncle.
00:56:21.000 Well, that's what you get for looting.
00:56:22.000 No...
00:56:22.000 That's not what you get for looting.
00:56:23.000 You don't get that for looting. 1.00
00:56:25.000 The death penalty is not made for people who want an ex-fuck. 0.99
00:56:28.000 It's not for a judge to say. 0.99
00:56:30.000 But it's not only that. 1.00
00:56:32.000 It's not delivered from a fucking roof. 0.99
00:56:34.000 It's gonna be delivered because you go to a trial and you have a jury of your peers. 0.99
00:56:39.000 That's what the government is supposed to be established for.
00:56:42.000 Like, to be on a rooftop, you're just murdering people. 0.97
00:56:45.000 This movie was like a full liar. 0.95
00:56:46.000 That's right. 0.98
00:56:47.000 I mean, this is crazy. 0.87
00:56:48.000 You're just murdering people. 1.00
00:56:48.000 Well, Jesse Ventura was a fucking Navy Seal. 1.00
00:56:51.000 He was in what I guess is called the UDT before it was the Navy Seals. 0.99
00:56:54.000 I believe that's the name of the organization.
00:56:56.000 There was a pre-dating name.
00:56:58.000 Jesse Ventura was one of them.
00:57:00.000 Yeah.
00:57:00.000 So apparently this guy told the story about knocking out Jesse Ventura.
00:57:04.000 Jesse Ventura bad-mouthing the troops and bad-mouthing the war, which he said he would never do, never did, never argued with this guy.
00:57:11.000 He never got hit.
00:57:12.000 And he gave the guy an opportunity to retract it.
00:57:17.000 Otherwise, because he wrote about it in his book, he called him Scruffy Face or something like that.
00:57:21.000 But then on radio shows, he admitted that it was Jesse Ventura.
00:57:24.000 So they can do the math.
00:57:25.000 I think he did it on Opie and Anthony, actually.
00:57:27.000 I think that's where it came out.
00:57:28.000 So they realized that it's not true.
00:57:30.000 So the guy got killed.
00:57:32.000 Okay, Chris Kyle gets killed.
00:57:34.000 And now Jesse Ventura goes through with the lawsuit with the guy's wife.
00:57:39.000 Which, that's the...
00:57:41.000 No, she's got all the profits from that. 1.00
00:57:42.000 Yes. 1.00
00:57:43.000 Fuck her. 1.00
00:57:44.000 I'll fucking lie about him. 1.00
00:57:45.000 Leave her. 1.00
00:57:46.000 Stop selling the book.
00:57:47.000 I don't know.
00:57:48.000 Give her a break. 1.00
00:57:49.000 She starts saying, I gave that money to charity.
00:57:51.000 And then it comes out later.
00:57:52.000 She gave 20% of it to charity. 1.00
00:57:52.000 She's a liar, too. 1.00
00:57:54.000 What? 1.00
00:57:54.000 I think as long as her life isn't... 1.00
00:58:00.000 I mean, she's suing the guy who lied.
00:58:03.000 It just so happened that the guy who lied died.
00:58:06.000 Stop selling the book.
00:58:06.000 Take the book down.
00:58:07.000 Well, that's the issue.
00:58:09.000 You're dead right.
00:58:10.000 That's the issue.
00:58:10.000 You're dead right.
00:58:11.000 The issue is random house.
00:58:14.000 Like, who owns the book?
00:58:15.000 But then the issue is, does he represent them when he goes on radio stations and says something that's not even in the book?
00:58:21.000 Does he name the guy in the story in the book, but does it make them responsible?
00:58:25.000 I say it doesn't.
00:58:26.000 I say it does.
00:58:27.000 Not Random House because he said Scruffy Face. 0.99
00:58:29.000 Who the fuck is Scruffy Face? 0.97
00:58:30.000 I know, but then when he says, now I've told you who Scruffy Face is, now what you've printed is libel or whatever it is. 0.99
00:58:35.000 Here's the thing, man. 0.86
00:58:35.000 If he wrote about all that other shit about shooting looters and all that other shit, if that turns out to be not true, which people are saying is not true, you really got to take the whole book back. 0.86
00:58:43.000 Take the book off. 0.99
00:58:44.000 Or repackage it as just falsity.
00:58:46.000 This is what's important to say.
00:58:48.000 Oprah had that book about that guy shattered little pieces or whatever, a thousand little pieces.
00:58:51.000 Yeah, yes.
00:58:52.000 And he was like, that was all a lie. 1.00
00:58:53.000 He goes, yeah, I'm a fucking writer. 1.00
00:58:53.000 And she was like, what? 1.00
00:58:54.000 Or the kid who just said he went to heaven and he came out and said the whole thing was a lie.
00:58:59.000 You know that kid who wrote it?
00:59:00.000 Yeah, they pulled that book too.
00:59:02.000 They pulled it.
00:59:02.000 Said he went to heaven?
00:59:03.000 Yeah.
00:59:03.000 Well, no, there's this cheesy book where a kid goes into a coma, flies around heaven for a while, comes back, writes this bestseller.
00:59:11.000 People are like, I knew heaven was real, and I knew it was like this.
00:59:15.000 I never read it, but it's a funny, it's just a hilarious thing.
00:59:18.000 But the kid actually got religion and felt so guilty about lying that he came out and said the whole thing was a lie.
00:59:25.000 I thought I could get attention.
00:59:26.000 It's not real.
00:59:27.000 And they pulled it.
00:59:29.000 They pulled it.
00:59:30.000 There's a great blog that I read called, if you just Google, Truth, Justice, and the Curious Case of Chris Kyle.
00:59:37.000 It's really well written, which explains all of the various stories and here's why they couldn't be true.
00:59:45.000 He's not casting any judgment, not using any inflammatory language, just trying to explain what may be or may not have been true.
00:59:53.000 It said in the beginning of this movie that was just released, this is all a true story.
00:59:57.000 See, some of it, I'm sure, was.
00:59:59.000 See, that's the thing.
01:00:00.000 I was about to shoot some kid and they go like, if you're wrong about this, you'll fly in Leavenworth.
01:00:04.000 That's your spotter. 0.95
01:00:05.000 That's your spotter telling you you're gonna go to jail forever if you take this wrong shot.
01:00:09.000 Another thing you have to remember, too, is Clint Eastwood. 0.99
01:00:12.000 Clint Eastwood, who used to be the baddest motherfucker in Leavenworth. 0.98
01:00:15.000 He's done now, too. 0.99
01:00:16.000 He's an old dude. 0.85
01:00:18.000 Remember when he talked to the chair?
01:00:20.000 Yes, that's what I was gonna say.
01:00:22.000 When you addressed Obama.
01:00:24.000 Yeah.
01:00:25.000 How did he direct a movie?
01:00:26.000 When I saw the thing...
01:00:27.000 No, seriously, when I saw the thing, all I thought was, oh, this is just clearly wartime propaganda.
01:00:33.000 Seth Rogen tweeted that he compared it to the Sniper movie in Tarantino's movie.
01:00:39.000 I think Rogen backpedaled a little bit.
01:00:41.000 But in Tarantino's movie, Inglourious Basterds, they're watching this...
01:00:45.000 In Germany, they're watching a movie about a sniper.
01:00:48.000 And he's being celebrated.
01:00:51.000 It's a propaganda movie.
01:00:52.000 It's propaganda.
01:00:53.000 American Sniper is propaganda.
01:00:55.000 There's no question about it.
01:00:57.000 So we know that.
01:00:58.000 Then I was thinking like, did Clint Eastwood really direct this? 0.97
01:01:01.000 Because when you see him at the Republican National Convention, he seemed kind of like So then I was thinking, how the fuck is this guy directing this kind of hardcore action movie? 0.97
01:01:12.000 Did they stick his face there because he's this manly, rugged, right-wing Republican hero? 0.93
01:01:18.000 And they knew that that would get more people to watch this movie, which is essentially a lubricated water slide that leads to your nearest recruiting office if you get hypnotized by the thing enough.
01:01:29.000 That's what it is.
01:01:30.000 Oh, you want to fight?
01:01:31.000 You want to fight for justice?
01:01:32.000 I'll tell you this, man.
01:01:33.000 You want to be noble?
01:01:34.000 You don't want to work in the oil fields?
01:01:37.000 You want to be noble?
01:01:37.000 Yeah, go straight to SEAL, even though it's 30. Yeah.
01:01:40.000 You think about a lot of people that are in this country that got born in a shit town with no fucking opportunity. 1.00
01:01:45.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:01:45.000 And you're surrounded by a bunch of dummies, and then you go see this movie. 1.00
01:01:49.000 You're like, holy shit, but... 0.99
01:01:51.000 I think when you make a movie about someone's life story, and this is what... 0.99
01:01:54.000 I was pissed off at Foxcatcher for the same reason.
01:01:57.000 That movie Foxcatcher about John DuPont, who was that crazy old man who shot Dave Schultz, who's an Olympic champion wrestler, and it was based on his brother Mark Schultz in this movie. 0.94
01:02:07.000 They fucked with everything in that movie. 0.96
01:02:10.000 He's so angry. 0.99
01:02:11.000 Mark Schultz has been tweeting like crazy because he's still alive.
01:02:14.000 Beautiful mind, too.
01:02:15.000 He's an Olympic gold medalist.
01:02:16.000 Oh, really?
01:02:17.000 They said they killed him in the movie?
01:02:18.000 Well, no, no, no.
01:02:19.000 John DuPont killed an Olympic gold medalist in the movie.
01:02:22.000 But his brother, Mark Schultz, who the movie and the book is based on, is still alive.
01:02:27.000 And they changed all these aspects of his life for this movie.
01:02:30.000 And he's like, I'm still alive.
01:02:33.000 This is me.
01:02:34.000 This isn't like a Chris Kyle thing where they made the movie after he's dead and who knows what he let put in and not put in.
01:02:42.000 Mark Schultz is saying this didn't happen. 0.98
01:02:44.000 They messed with shit that didn't even make sense. 0.98
01:02:46.000 They had the UFC in their movie, but it was in 1988. There was no fucking UFC until 1993. It didn't even exist. 1.00
01:02:54.000 So they're watching an actual fight between Big Daddy Goodrich, who was the eventual opponent of Mark Schultz. 0.98
01:02:59.000 And a lot of people are like, yeah, Wilgen, you're all the fucking UFC trivia. 0.99
01:03:03.000 Nobody gives a shit. 0.99
01:03:04.000 It's about the story. 1.00
01:03:05.000 No, it's not, dummy.
01:03:06.000 It's about history. 0.63
01:03:07.000 Because why would you make up any aspects of history when you're doing a true story?
01:03:11.000 You don't need to change the timeline for the UFC. That's totally arbitrary.
01:03:16.000 Like, someone deciding to do that is their own creative flair, just jizzing, just cupping their balls and jizzing over history. 0.99
01:03:25.000 And if you did that with that, how the fuck am I going to believe any of the aspects Oh, Jesus. 0.99
01:03:46.000 They, like, fucked with the timeline of his achievements, too, because he had already won the world championships. 0.99
01:03:51.000 I mean, he was already the best wrestler in the world in his weight class, and they were making it look like he needed his brother, and, you know, that he was sucking in. 0.96
01:04:00.000 DuPont, his career was falling apart.
01:04:02.000 He was the best wrestler in his weight class in the world. 1.00
01:04:05.000 Mark fucking Schultz was an animal. 1.00
01:04:07.000 Right. 1.00
01:04:08.000 I mean, if you watch him wrestle when he was... 1.00
01:04:10.000 In his peak form, he was a fucking animal. 0.98
01:04:12.000 And they changed the aspects of his achievements in this movie. 0.99
01:04:18.000 He was already a world champion. 0.56
01:04:20.000 The way they made it, and the way the guy was fucked, and nothing was going right for him, and then he needed this John DuPont situation, and that's why he moved in there. 0.91
01:04:30.000 In A Beautiful Mind, when the wife stuck with him, even though he was going crazy, in the real life, she just left. 0.97
01:04:35.000 As soon as he ran the bathwater on the kid, she was like, I'm out.
01:04:35.000 Of course.
01:04:37.000 I'm divorcing you.
01:04:38.000 Yeah.
01:04:38.000 It's over.
01:04:39.000 There was no, like, we're gonna make it together, baby.
01:04:41.000 Why did he do that?
01:04:42.000 Yeah, and this was like, and American Sniper was like, we're gonna tell the whole story.
01:04:45.000 Like, what whole story? 0.86
01:04:46.000 There was also a shitty father and husband? 0.81
01:04:48.000 I'm thinking about the Ari Shaffir story when it comes out. 0.95
01:04:51.000 They're gonna show him, like, with a bag of mushrooms, but he's, like, weeping as he eats them, like, I can't stop!
01:05:00.000 I'm like, you're calling him like, Ari, you gotta stop eating those mushrooms, man. 0.99
01:05:05.000 And all he's doing is watching child porn. 0.99
01:05:07.000 I don't even know why. 1.00
01:05:07.000 Fuck you. 1.00
01:05:08.000 Why should it be legal? 1.00
01:05:09.000 I can watch it. 0.99
01:05:10.000 I didn't fuck any kids. 0.99
01:05:12.000 Why isn't the video themselves legal? 0.99
01:05:14.000 I'll put some words in your mouth that you've never said that someone could totally see.
01:05:18.000 Put it on a newspaper quote or something and have it come up.
01:05:21.000 Did you ever see Lenny with Dustin Hoffman?
01:05:23.000 You know, I missed it.
01:05:24.000 I didn't see it. 0.98
01:05:24.000 Look, I'm a huge fucking Lenny Bruce fan, so I'm fascinated by him. 0.98
01:05:29.000 I'm not a huge fan of his war. 0.97
01:05:31.000 This is a tricky way to say it.
01:05:33.000 I'm not endorsing it right now.
01:05:36.000 I'm saying if Lenny Bruce was performing at the Laugh Factory and you were at the Comedy Store, I would tell people to go see you.
01:05:42.000 I would go, because it would be freaky just to see him.
01:05:45.000 But you're dealing with a completely different era.
01:05:45.000 Yeah.
01:05:49.000 The world was just way different. 0.95
01:05:51.000 But anyway, there's this great Dustin Hoffman movie where Dustin Hoffman fucking nailed it. 0.95
01:05:51.000 Right. 0.95
01:05:55.000 He sounds just like Lenny Bruce.
01:05:57.000 I mean, he's one of the few times where a guy's on stage and it seems like he's a real comic.
01:06:02.000 Oh. 0.99
01:06:03.000 It's really good, but he says a bunch of shit and you go, did he say that? 1.00
01:06:07.000 How do I know he said that? 1.00
01:06:08.000 I know you know, I know you don't know exactly what came out of his mouth at any given moment. 0.99
01:06:12.000 So a lot of this is just bullshit. 0.98
01:06:14.000 You know, and so if there's a real person, You've got to try your best to make everything as on the money as possible. 0.98
01:06:24.000 And whatever you fill in has got to be directly related to everything you absolutely know happened.
01:06:29.000 But you're not going to be able to fill in stuff like when he tells his wife he loves her for the first time.
01:06:32.000 It's like, I'm guessing this is how it went.
01:06:34.000 It's fine.
01:06:35.000 Unless the wife's alive and she can tell you. 0.93
01:06:37.000 Yeah, then it could help.
01:06:39.000 Other than that, I think what you're talking about is a controversial subject.
01:06:44.000 I think some people say that you've got creative license when things are moving.
01:06:48.000 It didn't even say based on a true story.
01:06:50.000 It said this is a true story.
01:06:51.000 Clint Eastwood, look, he's rah-rah all the way.
01:06:55.000 He's a flag-waving old man. 0.96
01:06:57.000 He sure is.
01:06:57.000 He really is.
01:06:58.000 All those old men stick together. 1.00
01:06:59.000 Well, look, I think Howard Stern is just saying he enjoyed it as a movie.
01:07:05.000 It's supposed to be a very good movie.
01:07:07.000 Like, well made as a movie.
01:07:09.000 Not at all.
01:07:10.000 There was no plot.
01:07:11.000 There was no story.
01:07:12.000 The acting was horrible. 1.00
01:07:14.000 There were some cool, like, fucking sniping shots. 1.00
01:07:17.000 The sniping was cool. 0.99
01:07:19.000 And that was it.
01:07:20.000 But it wasn't much.
01:07:21.000 I don't think you could label...
01:07:22.000 He's not like a war apologist or anything like that.
01:07:26.000 The one bad guy who wants to get the whole time is like, I don't understand.
01:07:29.000 Here's what it comes down to, man.
01:07:31.000 I think I've said on the podcast before.
01:07:32.000 Here's what it boils down to.
01:07:34.000 You want to use military equipment, right?
01:07:36.000 In a movie. 0.99
01:07:37.000 You're not going to get your own fucking tanks, and where are you going to get the military equipment from? 0.99
01:07:41.000 You're going to get the military equipment from the military. 0.99
01:07:44.000 And the military, and you can look this up, they get to have script approval.
01:07:49.000 So the military, they look through your script, and they make sure that the stuff that is in your script is going to get people down to their local recruiting office, and that's why they let you use their machinery.
01:08:00.000 You know they said to Kubrick that there's never been an anti-war movie that hasn't made enlistment go up?
01:08:07.000 Anti-war movies?
01:08:08.000 Yeah.
01:08:08.000 Wow.
01:08:09.000 So you feel like you literally cannot make an anti-war movie, because every single depiction of war makes people go, oh, that's cool.
01:08:15.000 Like Platoon?
01:08:16.000 All of it.
01:08:17.000 All of it.
01:08:17.000 You can see the trend.
01:08:18.000 Right afterwards, enlistment shoots up after those big movies come out.
01:08:21.000 That's so crazy.
01:08:22.000 Even when you see A Saving Private Ryan, the guy gets blown up, the coolest night, but everyone's like, I want to be a snake.
01:08:26.000 Right.
01:08:26.000 You forget the fact they got blown up.
01:08:28.000 Because people like being violent.
01:08:29.000 And this is why Sebastian Junger's book, War, is such an incredible book, because it portrays war with no attempt to be like, this is right or this is wrong.
01:08:39.000 It just says, if you take a... 0.97
01:08:40.000 I can't remember the exact wording, but it's like, if you take a 22-year-old and put them behind one of those giant fucking submachine guns, it feels good! 0.99
01:08:50.000 It's fun to like... 0.99
01:08:52.000 It feels good.
01:08:54.000 People love violence.
01:08:55.000 So, if you can figure out a way to get people to be violent without the guilt that goes along with, like, you're killing other members of your species, then what do you do?
01:09:06.000 You create an imaginary story, right?
01:09:08.000 And the imaginary story in Iraq was the Weapons of mass destruction. 0.56
01:09:12.000 Also, Saddam Hussein! 0.85
01:09:14.000 That's what they said in this movie, like, oh, if I don't do my job, they come to San Diego and knock on your door.
01:09:18.000 That's right.
01:09:19.000 That's apparently another aspect of the book that has been questioned, is that the barrels of weapons of mass destruction that they found.
01:09:29.000 Like, he said that they found, like, chemical weapons.
01:09:31.000 Right.
01:09:32.000 Oh, really?
01:09:32.000 Yeah.
01:09:33.000 Oh, he said, we actually saw them.
01:09:35.000 We laid eyes on them, but they're like, why didn't you tell anybody?
01:09:37.000 What do you mean?
01:09:38.000 Here's a fun Google search.
01:09:40.000 Do a Google search on birth defects in some of the parts of Iraq that we attacked because we used shells that had some kind of radioactive isotope in it, so now the babies are being born with birth defects.
01:09:51.000 Because the other thing people say is, Saddam Hussein gassed his own people, right?
01:09:56.000 He gassed his own people. 0.95
01:09:58.000 Well, what are we doing to them when we're dropping all those bombs?
01:10:01.000 Targeted strikes, man.
01:10:03.000 They know exactly where they're heading.
01:10:04.000 No, they don't.
01:10:06.000 Babies are being born there with severe birth defects because of what we did there.
01:10:10.000 So, I think in a movie like that, you need to at least illustrate the fact that the reason that man was sitting on the tops of buildings in that area killing people was he was It was because he was sent there based on bad information,
01:10:26.000 to say the least.
01:10:28.000 And the people he's killing, like in the very beginning, it's like, anybody over the age of 18, this is like in this scene.
01:10:35.000 Anybody over the age of 18 in this area, this is an evacuation zone.
01:10:39.000 So there's no one here except people that are out to kill us.
01:10:42.000 It's all open game.
01:10:43.000 It's like, oh, wait a minute.
01:10:44.000 So you're The very first shot.
01:10:46.000 So we don't worry about, is this questionable morally?
01:10:49.000 Nope.
01:10:49.000 Anyone who's there, over 18, that's what they're there for.
01:10:52.000 These monsters did not leave the city that we bombed that they lived in when we told them to. 1.00
01:10:58.000 So if they're still here, kill their ass. 1.00
01:11:01.000 And then he still shows restraint. 1.00
01:11:03.000 And then when he finally has to, it's a kid, but he has a fucking grenade launcher. 1.00
01:11:06.000 He waits until the kid's running at the fucking, and about to throw it, and then he shoots him. 1.00
01:11:11.000 But it's totally justified. 1.00
01:11:12.000 They show him shooting a kid?
01:11:13.000 And then the mom. 1.00
01:11:14.000 What the fuck? 1.00
01:11:15.000 But why would the kid be angry? 1.00
01:11:17.000 I mean, really, why would you be angry?
01:11:19.000 They only destroyed your city that you lived in.
01:11:21.000 This is another thing like we were talking about earlier.
01:11:24.000 They're shooting Marines.
01:11:25.000 It's like, why are the Marines right there where they can get shot?
01:11:28.000 Just go thousands of miles away back to America. 0.93
01:11:32.000 What we were saying earlier about ideologies are the problem.
01:11:35.000 And being a nationalistic person, subscribing and being a patriot, subscribing to one nation only, regardless of what the actual act itself is, looking at it like, you know, that's okay because it's one of us.
01:11:46.000 Like, that is an ideology.
01:11:48.000 There you go.
01:11:49.000 That is as much of an ideology as a religion.
01:11:52.000 It's like this unquestioning thing.
01:11:54.000 One of the things that Michael Moore was saying was that he put it on his Twitter that a sniper is a coward, and everybody got really pissed off. 0.99
01:12:04.000 I think the logic behind it is kind of silly. 0.99
01:12:07.000 You have to look them in the eye when you shoot them, like shooting someone in the back is a coward. 0.99
01:12:11.000 Well, in that sense, 90% of war is cowardly. 0.99
01:12:15.000 Yeah.
01:12:15.000 Because you're saying some kind of war is okay, but some kind of...
01:12:19.000 You have rules?
01:12:20.000 You have to look at somebody?
01:12:20.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:12:21.000 Shot in the back, or like, what about from 100 yards?
01:12:23.000 How about rockets?
01:12:24.000 That means no more rockets.
01:12:26.000 No more drones.
01:12:27.000 A lot of the shooting that you do is you're shooting people.
01:12:27.000 Yeah.
01:12:30.000 Like, you don't necessarily look them in the eye when you shoot them.
01:12:33.000 Are you having a duel?
01:12:34.000 Like, what are you doing? 1.00
01:12:35.000 You're standing back to back and walking 10 paces like assholes? 1.00
01:12:38.000 Like, what kind of... 0.99
01:12:38.000 Even if there's a reason to be there, can't you look at some of the negative effects and say we want to pull those back? 0.99
01:12:42.000 Why do 30% of children in Yemen have PTSD now because of drones?
01:12:46.000 We can't say that's a negative.
01:12:48.000 It's really important that that information gets out there when you are putting a movie out that's going to get people.
01:12:54.000 In the same way like when Beverly Hills Chihuahua came out.
01:12:58.000 Everybody bought a Chihuahua and the pounds filled up with Chihuahuas.
01:13:01.000 American Sniper is gonna do the exact same thing for people who are a little confused in what to do in their lives.
01:13:09.000 And they're gonna think, well, I guess the best thing I can do right now is kill people that my government tells me are evil, even though if I study the facts, I find that It's a far more complex issue than that, and maybe my decision should not be to become a hired killer for people who are telling me that I should kill people who more than likely are innocent or just trying to defend their home from an invading,
01:13:36.000 occupying force. 0.70
01:13:37.000 It's really important to realize that.
01:13:39.000 Now, I'm not saying All war is bad. 1.00
01:13:42.000 Because some people will be like, you naive son of a bitch, you don't even realize. 0.99
01:13:45.000 Let me repeat the speech at the beginning of American Sniper. 1.00
01:13:48.000 This is what the dad...
01:13:50.000 God, it was so terrible.
01:13:50.000 Oh, yeah.
01:13:51.000 Here's the speech the dad gives at the dinner table after the American Sniper.
01:13:56.000 What's his name?
01:13:57.000 What was his name?
01:13:57.000 Chris?
01:13:58.000 Chris Kyle.
01:13:59.000 Chris Kyle has just offended his brother from a beating by a bully.
01:14:03.000 And they're sitting around the table.
01:14:05.000 His brother's got bruised up a little bit.
01:14:08.000 Chris Kyle's sitting there and his dad gives this speech.
01:14:11.000 There's three types of people.
01:14:12.000 Wait, wait, wait.
01:14:13.000 Hold on.
01:14:13.000 Before you give the speech.
01:14:15.000 He goes, I was just defending my brother.
01:14:16.000 And he looks at the little brother with a black eye and he goes, is that true? 1.00
01:14:20.000 Like, what do you mean?
01:14:20.000 Obviously.
01:14:21.000 He has a black eye.
01:14:22.000 He just got beat up.
01:14:23.000 That's right.
01:14:24.000 How did you not tell that?
01:14:24.000 That's right.
01:14:25.000 What a shitty movie. 0.99
01:14:26.000 Is that true? 1.00
01:14:27.000 And he goes, yep, all it is.
01:14:28.000 Three types of people in the world.
01:14:30.000 Three types.
01:14:31.000 There's sheeps, and these are the people who believe that there aren't evil people in the world. 0.90
01:14:36.000 And by the way, I'm paraphrasing.
01:14:38.000 I don't want to memorize it.
01:14:40.000 There's the sheeps.
01:14:41.000 These are the people who believe that there aren't evil people in the world and that everything's safe.
01:14:46.000 And then there's the wolves.
01:14:48.000 And these are the people who try to use evil to overpower others.
01:14:54.000 Something like that.
01:14:55.000 And then there's the sheepdogs.
01:14:57.000 And these are the people who defend the sheep.
01:14:59.000 What are you gonna be?
01:15:01.000 He goes, if you're anything, if you're the sheep or the wolf, And he takes his belt off and puts it down. 1.00
01:15:08.000 Whoop your fucking ass! 1.00
01:15:10.000 Yeah! 1.00
01:15:11.000 You gotta be a sheepdog in this family, motherfucker! 1.00
01:15:14.000 Whoop your ass! 1.00
01:15:15.000 Watch it, man. 1.00
01:15:17.000 From the very beginning, it's pure, low-grade propaganda.
01:15:20.000 It really is, like the way Mencia would talk about how soldiers are on their dying breath.
01:15:24.000 Tell them, I'm just glad I got to see Mencia before I die.
01:15:31.000 He was for real telling that story.
01:15:33.000 He was for real telling that story.
01:15:35.000 Oh, that was a story.
01:15:36.000 Yeah.
01:15:36.000 When was this story?
01:15:38.000 I remember going around there. 0.99
01:15:40.000 He'd tell people, like, yeah, I met his fucking buddy in arms when he was dying. 0.98
01:15:44.000 He was like, you know, I got married and did a lot of good things. 0.99
01:15:47.000 But at least I got...
01:15:49.000 At least I got this immense deal before I died.
01:15:55.000 Wow.
01:15:56.000 Ari, I will give you...
01:15:57.000 Imagine if that really did happen, though.
01:15:58.000 That's actually sadder.
01:16:01.000 That's sadder than him lying.
01:16:03.000 It would actually happen. 1.00
01:16:05.000 We're assuming it didn't happen, but people are definitely dumb enough to do that. 0.96
01:16:09.000 You don't understand about the Punisher tour of 2006. It was magical. 0.98
01:16:16.000 Oh my god.
01:16:18.000 Wow. 0.99
01:16:21.000 That's fucking hilarious. 0.98
01:16:22.000 His last words, you know, the guy would be like, but what about him stealing jokes? 0.98
01:16:26.000 His last words, but he did it better.
01:16:31.000 But he did it better.
01:16:32.000 But he did it better.
01:16:34.000 Different in my country.
01:16:36.000 Man.
01:16:39.000 Ari, I will give you $100,000 on your deathbed.
01:16:42.000 You say, at least I got to see Mencia.
01:16:45.000 A hundred thousand?
01:16:46.000 You would really give him a hundred thousand?
01:16:48.000 And how would he use it?
01:16:49.000 Oh, you double-crosser. 1.00
01:16:49.000 He's dead! 1.00
01:16:50.000 This is a terrible fucking deal. 1.00
01:16:51.000 You double-crosser. 1.00
01:16:52.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00
01:16:53.000 Well, you won't need this, and I am one of your best friends, so I'll just take these stacks back. 1.00
01:16:58.000 Upon expiration.
01:16:59.000 At least I can say I got that.
01:17:01.000 Yeah, on your deathbed.
01:17:02.000 By the way, my storyteller show, This Is Not Happy, premieres this Thursday.
01:17:06.000 Oh, yeah.
01:17:07.000 With me, Bobby Lee, and Keegan-Michael Key.
01:17:09.000 And Duncan, we've done these extra stories that we're doing for the web only.
01:17:15.000 They'll all be on YouTube.
01:17:16.000 And Duncan's is premiering tomorrow.
01:17:17.000 That's right.
01:17:18.000 Duncan tells a cool story about going to...
01:17:20.000 Bad LSD trip.
01:17:21.000 Grateful Dead concert?
01:17:22.000 Is there a reason they didn't want to put that on television?
01:17:25.000 The reason is to book another white male was nearly impossible.
01:17:29.000 You had too many white males? 0.99
01:17:30.000 Did you need diversity training?
01:17:31.000 Oh yeah, there was like, who else can we get that's a little not bad.
01:17:35.000 Wait, so you had to go out of your way?
01:17:37.000 You had to go out of your way to look for non-white males? 0.82
01:17:40.000 Yeah.
01:17:40.000 So it's a Jerry Seinfeld type situation?
01:17:42.000 Yeah, they're like, look, we're just gonna get two attacked if you don't get some others.
01:17:45.000 We'll get two attacked. 0.99
01:17:45.000 It's just like, bottom line, it was just like fucking awful. 0.99
01:17:48.000 Well, I mean, they're pissed about the, what is it, the Oscars? 0.98
01:17:50.000 They don't have to get half.
01:17:51.000 But you've got to be representative.
01:17:53.000 That's so crazy.
01:17:55.000 They're pissed about the Oscars. 0.99
01:17:56.000 It's all white people. 0.99
01:17:58.000 Unless black people are being excluded. 0.91
01:18:01.000 Unless Asian people are being excluded. 0.55
01:18:03.000 We've got Bobby Lee!
01:18:05.000 Joey Diaz! 1.00
01:18:06.000 Those are both fucking ethnos. 1.00
01:18:08.000 My problem is you can't have affirmative action comedy. 1.00
01:18:13.000 Yeah.
01:18:13.000 No, you can't.
01:18:14.000 You're going to ruin the whole thing.
01:18:15.000 You can't do that.
01:18:16.000 You can't.
01:18:17.000 Whoever's funny.
01:18:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:18:19.000 But you can do it like this.
01:18:21.000 Show me the pool of people that are qualified.
01:18:23.000 You can show them 100 people.
01:18:24.000 Make two of those.
01:18:25.000 There's only six blacks that are qualified of those hundreds, but pick two of them. 1.00
01:18:29.000 I don't mind being on the internet.
01:18:30.000 I love the internet.
01:18:31.000 That's where I live is on the internet.
01:18:32.000 Those clips, they can be way longer, too, just like we did last year.
01:18:35.000 Completely like, don't worry about anything.
01:18:37.000 No, I love the one that you put that we did that was on the internet.
01:18:40.000 It was fun.
01:18:40.000 It was great.
01:18:41.000 It was actually before the show was even on TV. It's totally awesome to have something on the internet.
01:18:46.000 I was just confused as to what the We're good to go.
01:19:07.000 It doesn't get cancelled.
01:19:08.000 It's on any time you want.
01:19:09.000 It's actually a way better medium for distribution.
01:19:12.000 A YouTube channel is way better, especially now.
01:19:14.000 You have YouTube on Apple TV, so you can go right to YouTube.
01:19:18.000 You can get YouTube on a lot of those little Netflix-type situations.
01:19:22.000 Yes, you can watch it on your TV. You can watch it on your phone.
01:19:25.000 You can watch it anywhere you want.
01:19:26.000 If it's on Comedy Central, you're going to be guaranteed a very large audience.
01:19:30.000 You know, like, million-plus audience of people sitting there watching.
01:19:32.000 A lot of them that aren't even your fans.
01:19:34.000 When you go online, you're going to get all of your fans.
01:19:37.000 Also, they watch it more intently.
01:19:39.000 They see your name right there.
01:19:40.000 It's way easier for them, like, fan-wise.
01:19:42.000 Yeah, fan-wise.
01:19:43.000 That's why I told them, like, we want to do it on TV. And they're like, okay, if it's a no-web.
01:19:45.000 I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.
01:19:46.000 No, no, no.
01:19:47.000 Also, all those stories go on the web.
01:19:48.000 Let's make a cool-looking clip.
01:19:50.000 I couldn't tell a story about trying to buy acid in a parking lot on TV. Exactly!
01:19:55.000 Big J has one that's great about some sex, and a dog is involved, and they're like, you're not doing BCLity on here. 0.92
01:20:02.000 We'll put it on the web, though. 0.71
01:20:03.000 And they're like, fine, golden, I don't care.
01:20:05.000 Isn't that hilarious?
01:20:06.000 I just think that's the way.
01:20:07.000 If I get to choose...
01:20:09.000 Yeah, Duncan said that because I don't even want to.
01:20:11.000 I'd rather be the wet. 1.00
01:20:12.000 You can say whatever the fuck you want. 1.00
01:20:13.000 Yeah, I would. 0.99
01:20:14.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:20:15.000 Because he called me and he's like, can we go through what your story is?
01:20:18.000 The idea being if we can, like, maybe we can make it so it could possibly be on TV. And I said, oh, no, I'd just rather not be on TV because I don't want to worry about that.
01:20:28.000 I don't want to think about that because the story I'm telling is a story about being in high school trying to buy drugs and just the worst slash best acid trip I ever had in my life.
01:20:41.000 You don't even want to have to worry about someone going, can you make it sound a little less pro?
01:20:45.000 I don't even want to get into it.
01:20:46.000 Because I am pro LSD. Do they actually say that?
01:20:49.000 No, but you can see them maybe saying that.
01:20:51.000 But it could happen.
01:20:53.000 No, in my special I go, do more drugs.
01:20:55.000 How good for you.
01:20:56.000 Like, you should do drugs.
01:20:57.000 But do you say specifically what drugs?
01:21:00.000 Uh-huh.
01:21:00.000 Mushrooms and any sort of psychedelic.
01:21:02.000 Hmm.
01:21:03.000 I'm like, you'll never, there's nothing ever bad happen to you.
01:21:05.000 If Jeb Bush gets in office, that could be an issue.
01:21:08.000 Yeah.
01:21:08.000 Well, yeah, I mean, there's a statute of, I mean, you could, could it be an issue?
01:21:12.000 Is that real?
01:21:13.000 No, no, shh, cry.
01:21:14.000 All both of you, stop it.
01:21:15.000 You're going to get ideas in their heads.
01:21:17.000 Stop it.
01:21:17.000 For sure.
01:21:18.000 You're talking about Schedule 1 drugs.
01:21:20.000 Ugh.
01:21:22.000 Oh, Comedy Central's heads?
01:21:23.000 Is that what you're saying?
01:21:24.000 Yeah.
01:21:24.000 You're not worried about the politicians themselves?
01:21:26.000 No, no.
01:21:27.000 I don't know, man.
01:21:28.000 You guys are rebels. 0.99
01:21:28.000 Comedy Central, don't be pussies. 0.99
01:21:29.000 I think with mushrooms, especially, I think mushrooms, like, okay, remember when marijuana was deeply illegal way back in the day? 0.98
01:21:36.000 Uh-huh, uh-huh.
01:21:37.000 And you'd fantasize with your friends about the idea of marijuana becoming legalized, and you could see that it could be on the horizon, maybe, but it was still kind of like, it's never going to be legal. 0.93
01:21:45.000 It's a ridiculous dream. 0.89
01:21:46.000 Yeah. 0.97
01:21:47.000 I think mushrooms is the new marijuana.
01:21:49.000 I think mushrooms is going to, psilocybin is going to become a prescription medication that's given to people to stop smoking.
01:21:49.000 Maybe.
01:21:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly!
01:21:58.000 That's going to happen.
01:21:59.000 Once they start realizing that there are medical benefits, that they keep looking like they're improving, that it's like, they'll try to separate it.
01:22:05.000 Ibogaine's a big one.
01:22:05.000 Ibogaine.
01:22:06.000 Thank God for Doblin.
01:22:07.000 Oh yeah.
01:22:09.000 He's a champion, hero.
01:22:11.000 That guy deserves a Nobel Prize for the work he's doing for psychedelics.
01:22:17.000 Because he's doing stringent, hardcore studies proving that many of these psychoactive compounds have medicinal...
01:22:24.000 Who is that?
01:22:25.000 Rick Doblin.
01:22:27.000 From the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies, MAPS. It's just they do these real hardcore studies where it's undeniable.
01:22:37.000 Oh look, what do you know?
01:22:39.000 Psilocybin helps long-term smokers quit and when you compare it to Chantix, it's like the psilocybin is a million times better.
01:22:48.000 Yeah, it helped with my depression a lot.
01:22:50.000 Yeah, it does.
01:22:51.000 It heals you.
01:22:52.000 It changes the way your brain is functioning.
01:22:54.000 The paths that you're on.
01:22:56.000 I think the paths you're on...
01:22:58.000 Someone tried to explain this to me once.
01:23:00.000 I've always tried to remember the exact way it's explained.
01:23:04.000 But that we want to think of our moments as being moments individual unto themselves.
01:23:10.000 But they're not.
01:23:11.000 They're a chain of unique moments throughout your entire life.
01:23:15.000 Your interpretations of those unique moments... 0.90
01:23:17.000 I'm paraphrasing the shit out of how this guy said it.
01:23:19.000 And then all of your associations with life itself that are connected to your interpretations of these moments and then boom, here you are today. 0.97
01:23:29.000 And you want to think that this is life.
01:23:31.000 But it's only life because of all these pathways that you've carved in the way you view the world.
01:23:38.000 That's cool.
01:23:38.000 As soon as you change those pathways, you open up a whole new world.
01:23:43.000 Because now your associations are different, so now your brain's reaction to life itself...
01:23:49.000 It's just changing your route to work, and all of a sudden you're like, well, look at these doors.
01:23:52.000 You're changing your neurochemistry.
01:23:53.000 You're changing your chemistry.
01:23:54.000 And it's such a great feeling whenever any...
01:23:57.000 That happens just slightly.
01:23:59.000 Because a lot of people are in a cave-in situation when it comes to their lives.
01:24:02.000 They're literally buried under a series of...
01:24:06.000 Antiquated, stale symbols that they're looking at the universe through and they feel trapped.
01:24:12.000 It's like their shoes are too tight.
01:24:15.000 And if like a psychedelic or meditating too, and I really mean that, I'm not just saying that because I'm...
01:24:22.000 I really think meditation has a very similar effect but any of these things they reset those symbol structures in your brain and if you just like if you're in a cave-in and you get an extra inch compared to like being compressed against the wall that's a big fucking deal man oh right so it's slightly percentage difference change just a slight change is like oh thank god i'm 13% less frightened than I was for my entire life.
01:24:48.000 Have you ever heard Tony Robbins talk about changing paths in life?
01:24:51.000 It's a really interesting analogy.
01:24:53.000 He talks about like you're going two cars going the exact same or a boat rather, two boats going exactly the same direction, but one boat just takes a two degree turn.
01:25:03.000 Just two degrees.
01:25:04.000 Yeah.
01:25:05.000 As they go further down, the one boat that took the two degree turn is going to go wider and wider away from the original path.
01:25:12.000 And then each decision that you make that's a good decision takes you closer.
01:25:16.000 Even though it's just like you're just steering your ship just as you go out, it's going to be a much different path, a much different end than if you just stayed on the original path.
01:25:28.000 Yeah, way different.
01:25:28.000 That's incredible.
01:25:28.000 I love that.
01:25:29.000 And psychedelics makes you go, right turn, Claude.
01:25:33.000 Yep.
01:25:34.000 That's right.
01:25:34.000 Woo!
01:25:35.000 Look at Amber Lyon. 0.99
01:25:36.000 The currents try to bring you back, though.
01:25:38.000 Yes.
01:25:38.000 Well, ego tries to bring you back.
01:25:39.000 So you go this way, and the currents kind of bring you back to where you were going.
01:25:41.000 So it's like, you've got to take them again.
01:25:43.000 Well, I've always said that doing psychedelics is like pressing the reset button for your brain.
01:25:48.000 Control-Alt-Delete.
01:25:50.000 That your desktop reboots and there's only one folder on the desktop.
01:25:50.000 Remember that bit?
01:25:54.000 And that desktop says, the folder says, my old bullshit. 0.99
01:25:57.000 And you have two choices. 0.99
01:25:59.000 Either you just create a completely different desktop, look at reality as a completely different, or open up my old bullshit and fall back into these familiar patterns because they're very comforting. 0.98
01:26:09.000 Right.
01:26:10.000 You know, and those moments after the psychedelic experience are so important to grab and hang on to because it gives you this opportunity to make this new way of thinking like a part of your habit.
01:26:21.000 Yeah.
01:26:21.000 And once you get in that habit, whether it's fucking, you know, 30 days or 60 days or 90 days, like people say that once you like have a pattern ingrained in how you behave and think and do...
01:26:32.000 It just takes a consistent approach to that pattern, and then it becomes like a part of you. 0.89
01:26:38.000 That's why people that quit smoking are like, get past the first 90 days and you'll be alright.
01:26:43.000 Right.
01:26:43.000 Jews say if you go sit in the same seat three times, you should just keep sitting there.
01:26:47.000 That's your all-time seat.
01:26:49.000 Wow, that's smart.
01:26:51.000 Yeah, it makes sense.
01:26:52.000 It's like when you take a psychedelic, it's like if your life is a polluted city, like what are those polluted, like what's that?
01:26:58.000 Detroit.
01:26:58.000 Detroit, right?
01:27:00.000 Yeah.
01:27:00.000 And it's like the psychedelic all of a sudden takes you in a helicopter outside the pollution.
01:27:04.000 And so now you're seeing Oh god, the air up here is so fresh.
01:27:08.000 It's so nice down here.
01:27:09.000 But the thing is, the helicopter's gonna land. 0.98
01:27:11.000 It's gonna put you back out into your city, and that's where the job starts, which is like, shit man, it's nice up there. 0.99
01:27:18.000 How can I clean this fucking thing up? 0.97
01:27:20.000 And then that's when you start doing things like exercising, meditating, or that's where you create just a very simple intention in everything you do, which is, as much as possible, I'm gonna try to alleviate the suffering of people around me as much as I can. 0.98
01:27:36.000 Yeah.
01:27:37.000 You know, that might not be a lot.
01:27:38.000 It might just be...
01:27:40.000 It definitely does that, too.
01:27:42.000 We got back from this last UFC, just a little bit of mushrooms.
01:27:46.000 I saw a homeless guy, and I opened my wallet, and I only had 20s. 1.00
01:27:50.000 And I was like, no, fuck it. 1.00
01:27:52.000 There you go. 1.00
01:27:53.000 That's what it does. 0.90
01:27:54.000 In those little moments, man, it shows you that those moments present themselves to you all day fucking long, but if you are stuck in selfishness, you don't see it.
01:28:04.000 Yeah, it's real simple little things.
01:28:06.000 But it's fun.
01:28:07.000 It's a very wonderful... 0.97
01:28:08.000 That kind of simple intention can really de-pollute your subjective city that you've been sucking in shitty gas for the most of your life.
01:28:17.000 There was one time that I saw it that I was... 0.98
01:28:19.000 The only time I was like, I have a guide to somebody, but it was Willie Hunter was on him, and he was shitting on Vine. 0.90
01:28:24.000 He was shitting on some comic who would become a Vine star. 0.98
01:28:27.000 She was a shitty comic, but she became like a... 1.00
01:28:29.000 And he was like, I hate Vine. 0.98
01:28:30.000 We're like, Vine, man.
01:28:31.000 They're fun.
01:28:31.000 They're six-second fun videos.
01:28:32.000 And he's like, no, I hate them.
01:28:33.000 I'm like, what about a six-second YouTube video?
01:28:35.000 You'd watch that. 0.99
01:28:36.000 He was just being shitty. 0.99
01:28:36.000 Whatever. 0.99
01:28:37.000 We're trying to talk about it, and he couldn't stop.
01:28:39.000 Then we started doing the mushrooms, and he was like, I'm a bad person.
01:28:42.000 And everyone's like, no, no, you're fine.
01:28:45.000 And he kept doing it, and eventually I was like, Willie, listen.
01:28:48.000 You're right.
01:28:49.000 That was you being a bad person.
01:28:51.000 He's like, I'm so sorry.
01:28:52.000 But I was like, it's okay, because here's the deal.
01:28:54.000 From now on, you don't have to be that anymore.
01:28:57.000 You can just let that go and let people talk.
01:28:59.000 And he's like...
01:29:01.000 That's what it shows you like you can change but that thing you're talking about where you realize shit I'm a bad person that is There's I can't remember the name in Buddhism There's an actual name for that and it's considered to be a very sweet moment where you need that moment it's fertilizer where you need that moment where you look at your life and and you feel this very specific kind of sadness because you look at all the times you could have been kinder all the times you could have like called that person back all the times you
01:29:31.000 could have made decisions that were pushing your boat in the direction of a better world and you didn't do it and you should feel sad about that but you shouldn't spend your whole life feeling sad about it you should just spend some time there and look at it and think okay Well,
01:29:46.000 that's gone.
01:29:47.000 The past has been devoured by time.
01:29:50.000 There's only this moment now.
01:29:51.000 And so from this point forward, as much as I can, my decisions are going to be based on reducing the suffering of my species.
01:30:00.000 And that means... 0.95
01:30:01.000 Pick up your trash.
01:30:02.000 You litter before doesn't mean you have to keep going forever.
01:30:04.000 Simple.
01:30:05.000 Yeah.
01:30:07.000 Yeah, the path of...
01:30:10.000 Trying to figure out what's the best way in life is obscured by law.
01:30:15.000 Isn't that amazing?
01:30:16.000 There's laws that they've created that make the best tools to find out who you really are illegal. 0.99
01:30:23.000 There's not a therapy in the fucking world that will get a crazy, sociopathic, egomaniacal person to really look at themselves like a bag of mushrooms. 0.99
01:30:32.000 There's nothing. 1.00
01:30:33.000 Nothing. 0.99
01:30:34.000 All those moments in film are like, whoa, I realize now that's all bullshit. 0.98
01:30:39.000 That's recreating a mushroom trip. 0.98
01:30:40.000 People that you know that are untrustworthy, that you can't trust their stories, you can't trust their...
01:30:48.000 Those are the people that we all agree could have the best experience on psychedelics because it'll give them the best view of themselves.
01:30:57.000 But...
01:30:57.000 Yeah.
01:30:58.000 Those are the same type of people that are going to argue against it. 0.99
01:31:01.000 Like, if you ever talk to people that don't want mushrooms to be legal or don't want something like, ah, but then fuck that. 1.00
01:31:07.000 You'll lose your fucking mind. 1.00
01:31:07.000 You think that should be legal? 1.00
01:31:09.000 What about people who have lost their fucking mind on that? 0.99
01:31:11.000 What people have lost their mind? 0.99
01:31:11.000 It's fascinating. 0.99
01:31:13.000 What are you talking about?
01:31:14.000 Movies?
01:31:15.000 In the 40s?
01:31:15.000 Well, there's been some people that have blown their brains out with LSD for sure.
01:31:19.000 There's definitely been some people that had some psychotic episodes.
01:31:21.000 And it can be argued that a lot of those psychotic episodes are people who are control freaks or egomaniacs that are struggling with the reality that's presented to them.
01:31:32.000 Schizophrenics shouldn't try it. 1.00
01:31:33.000 Fuck yeah, for sure. 1.00
01:31:34.000 People with a history of schizophrenia in their family. 1.00
01:31:36.000 What about bipolar people?
01:31:38.000 What about bipolar people?
01:31:39.000 They probably shouldn't try it either.
01:31:40.000 I mean, it's probably a whole slew of people who have abnormal human chemistry.
01:31:45.000 You know what else bipolar people shouldn't try?
01:31:48.000 Caffeine.
01:31:49.000 Really?
01:31:49.000 They shouldn't take caffeine pills.
01:31:50.000 Yeah, you shouldn't do anything that's going to push you into a manic state.
01:31:53.000 It's like, we can't consider...
01:31:55.000 You know, it's like the victim thing about people, the victims of psychedelics...
01:32:01.000 You know, and I know you think climbing up, what is it, the mountain, you think it's ridiculous, but there's a valley there called the, I just read about this on Reddit, I think it's called, there's an area, I think it's called the Valley of Rainbows, and they call it that because of the brightly colored jackets on the corpses that are all laying there dead.
01:32:20.000 And I think psychedelics have the same kind of valley.
01:32:22.000 I think that there is an undeniable valley That must be filled with people who've been pushed into psychotic episodes or who under the influence of a psychedelic made bad decisions, car accidents, all the things that come from irresponsibly using and intoxicating.
01:32:41.000 You've got to admit that's real, but just because that is real doesn't therefore exclude all the people who are saying again and again and again and again I've had amazing times.
01:32:53.000 My relationships are better.
01:32:55.000 Same thing with alcohol.
01:32:56.000 My marriage is healed.
01:32:56.000 Same thing with alcohol.
01:32:57.000 It's like, alright, there's some drunk drivers.
01:32:58.000 Don't drunk drive. 0.97
01:32:59.000 But like, it's pretty fun to get fucked up with your friends once in a while. 0.99
01:33:02.000 You gotta look at the whole fucking picture. 0.99
01:33:05.000 Look at the whole thing. 1.00
01:33:06.000 Don't deny the fact that they're Dangerous chemicals and that people have more than likely completely lost their shit because of them. 0.96
01:33:12.000 Don't deny that, but then also don't deny the benefits in the same way with American Sniper. 0.87
01:33:18.000 Much better movie if that character was actually dealing with the fact that he's blowing people away in a war that has been shown to be based on bad information.
01:33:28.000 Don't you think that when you get to be as old as Clint Eastwood is, don't you think that your faculties have been compromised?
01:33:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:33:36.000 Almost 100%.
01:33:37.000 He's not thinking the same way.
01:33:39.000 Yeah.
01:33:39.000 He's not as sharp.
01:33:39.000 He was.
01:33:40.000 No, honestly.
01:33:41.000 And Million Dollar Baby was really good.
01:33:42.000 Yeah.
01:33:43.000 But this is not that.
01:33:44.000 Also, it's this subject matter that he's prone to go into these very right-wing paths with.
01:33:50.000 And also, you probably can't separate your deep feelings.
01:33:53.000 He didn't have deep feelings about women boxers.
01:33:55.000 Exactly.
01:33:55.000 But he had deep feelings about this, so he's got to be 100% right.
01:33:58.000 Rah, rah, rah.
01:33:59.000 And it's like, alright man, now you're not...
01:34:00.000 Even if you were younger, you still wouldn't be able to see this clearly.
01:34:02.000 It's like when someone talks in their own words, and you get to hear them talk in their own words, you get a sense of like, oh, I see why you created this piece of art.
01:34:12.000 I see why this is your perspective. 0.94
01:34:14.000 And when you saw that Republican National Convention thing, whatever the fuck it was, when he was talking to Obama, that's Glenn Eastwood. 0.98
01:34:21.000 That's who he is. 1.00
01:34:23.000 He's so fucking crazy that he thought that up on the spot. 1.00
01:34:26.000 That was ad-libbed. 1.00
01:34:28.000 He didn't even have anything planned out. 1.00
01:34:29.000 This fucking guy is giving this speech in front of this gigantic group of people. 0.99
01:34:34.000 He's so confident in his ideas that he's gonna ad-lib a conversation with Obama, complete with punchlines. 1.00
01:34:41.000 He comes from a non-video world, too, where he's like, eh, so what, it's a group of a thousand people.
01:34:46.000 Well, he's also just completely confident in his position and life and who he is, and he's a movie star. 0.86
01:34:53.000 He's been a movie star for fucking 100,000 years. 1.00
01:34:56.000 Everybody's been kissing his ass long before the internet came along. 1.00
01:34:59.000 He's also a guy that agreed to do a fucking reality show. 1.00
01:35:02.000 Do you know that? 1.00
01:35:03.000 No.
01:35:03.000 Where his wife was in a reality show.
01:35:05.000 His wife was in some crazy reality show, man.
01:35:07.000 His wife... 0.73
01:35:08.000 I don't know if they're still together.
01:35:09.000 I think they might have got divorced.
01:35:10.000 But she wanted to be a star.
01:35:12.000 So she married Clint Eastwood.
01:35:13.000 She was young and hot. 1.00
01:35:14.000 And then she did a reality show.
01:35:17.000 Didn't know it.
01:35:18.000 Yeah, it didn't last.
01:35:19.000 I'm not sure if he's still with her.
01:35:21.000 There's no drama to it.
01:35:24.000 It's cool.
01:35:24.000 I looked up an interview with Eastwood about directing the movie because I didn't understand how the guy at the Republican National...
01:35:31.000 You were affected by this.
01:35:31.000 Yeah.
01:35:32.000 Oh, I mean, I was just like, oh, wow, this is such blatant propaganda.
01:35:35.000 They're not even trying to make it subtle.
01:35:37.000 This is just like wartime propaganda.
01:35:39.000 They make a movie out of it.
01:35:40.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:35:41.000 That I was curious, like, okay, I wonder how involved Eastwood was in directing this just based on what I saw at the Republican National Convention.
01:35:48.000 Didn't know it was improvised.
01:35:49.000 So now that kind of explains it.
01:35:50.000 I thought maybe he was just suffering from senile dementia or something.
01:35:54.000 It was called Mrs. Eastwood and Company.
01:35:56.000 It was on 2012. It was a reality show.
01:35:59.000 So what did the interview say, though?
01:36:01.000 Well, the interview was, you know, it was just him saying like he had actually been reading the book when they called and he said, let me finish the book.
01:36:09.000 I've got 40 pages left.
01:36:11.000 And so I read it the next day and decided, you know, it's just a basic, basic interview. 0.99
01:36:17.000 But I just, it was, I was just so appalled by the fucking thing. 0.99
01:36:20.000 That was her. 1.00
01:36:21.000 She's pretty goddamn hot. 1.00
01:36:22.000 That's his wife? 0.99
01:36:22.000 It was his wife. 0.99
01:36:23.000 She divorced him.
01:36:24.000 Of course, of course he would marry a super hot person. 1.00
01:36:26.000 She's hot as fuck. 1.00
01:36:27.000 You should. 1.00
01:36:28.000 Kapowza wowza, son. 1.00
01:36:32.000 He's a goddamn movie star. 1.00
01:36:34.000 Yeah, he is. 1.00
01:36:35.000 What do you expect?
01:36:36.000 Yeah, you can't really...
01:36:38.000 Were you going to say you also have something?
01:36:39.000 Oh, yeah.
01:36:40.000 I also have a story that's out on YouTube now.
01:36:42.000 My first story.
01:36:43.000 They put it out.
01:36:43.000 Oh, beautiful.
01:36:44.000 Smuggling weed in Australia. 1.00
01:36:45.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
01:36:46.000 Oh, cool. 0.99
01:36:46.000 Don't talk about that online. 0.99
01:36:48.000 What are you doing?
01:36:49.000 The beginning of it is...
01:36:51.000 You should say this is all a lie.
01:36:53.000 You just got done talking about how truthful you should be.
01:36:56.000 I don't do it anymore.
01:36:57.000 I don't do it anymore because of the results of this story.
01:37:01.000 But even then, you could be admitting to an Interpol-related crime. 0.99
01:37:05.000 No, I don't buy into any of that shit. 0.99
01:37:07.000 They have every bag of garbage from the moment of time and they have them locked up. 1.00
01:37:13.000 By date, labeled.
01:37:15.000 So that if you talk about something, they can go back to this warehouse.
01:37:18.000 And they go, we found it!
01:37:19.000 We found the bag!
01:37:19.000 We got the wrappers!
01:37:21.000 This fucking kid's on the pot! 1.00
01:37:23.000 That you brought those. 1.00
01:37:23.000 Yeah, man. 1.00
01:37:24.000 They'll find your DNA from the wrapper, from your sweat.
01:37:27.000 They'll isolate it.
01:37:28.000 And they'll bring you up into some sort of tribunal the next time you try to go to Sydney.
01:37:32.000 Here's how little I care about that.
01:37:33.000 Just YouTube search.
01:37:34.000 This is not happening.
01:37:35.000 Ari smuggles weed into Australia. 1.00
01:37:37.000 And you can see it right now. 1.00
01:37:38.000 You are a gangster, sir. 0.65
01:37:39.000 You know, man, that makes me think of this movie that's coming out I'm really excited about. 0.87
01:37:43.000 Timothy Leary's kid is releasing this movie about his dad and Richard Alpert, but it's got all this fridge.
01:37:50.000 Bradley Cooper plays Timothy Leary, I heard.
01:37:52.000 What's that?
01:37:53.000 No, this is a documentary.
01:37:54.000 Oh, I missed it. 1.00
01:37:55.000 God damn it. 0.99
01:37:56.000 Sorry, Joe. 0.99
01:37:57.000 Totally. 0.98
01:37:57.000 That's such a slow ball, too, and I just fucking like, what? 0.98
01:38:01.000 Yeah, he was going to give acid to this kid, and he wasn't going to, but then the kid picked up a Bible, so he gave the kid acid. 0.98
01:38:08.000 No, this...
01:38:09.000 We've got to start making the real movies of these things.
01:38:13.000 That would be like their sniper moment.
01:38:15.000 Like, the kid is about to pick up the bottle.
01:38:15.000 Yeah.
01:38:17.000 I can't do it.
01:38:18.000 He gets the eyedropper and squirts it in the kid's mouth.
01:38:20.000 And you see the kid's eyeballs dilate.
01:38:22.000 The kid falls back into a kaleidoscope.
01:38:25.000 Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club.
01:38:28.000 Here's the real Jesus.
01:38:29.000 We hope you...
01:38:32.000 That is what they do, too. 0.98
01:38:34.000 They would do something probably worse, something more ridiculous than that. 0.97
01:38:38.000 Won't smart people be able to see through this? 0.90
01:38:40.000 Yeah, that's not who's watching this, though.
01:38:41.000 Yeah, those sniper movies aren't really for smart people.
01:38:44.000 But it's cool to watch clips of Timothy Leary at the Senate hearings, man.
01:38:48.000 I apologize to my date afterwards.
01:38:49.000 It's cool watching him, like, having to talk to Senate about LSD. It's badass.
01:38:53.000 So he does.
01:38:53.000 You apologize to your date?
01:38:55.000 Yeah.
01:38:55.000 Why?
01:38:56.000 We were talking, and I was like, yeah, I thought that would be better than I was.
01:38:59.000 Sorry.
01:39:00.000 Just a poor pick.
01:39:02.000 I mean, you get to pick the next one.
01:39:03.000 That's hilarious, dude.
01:39:04.000 Poor pick.
01:39:05.000 That's hilarious.
01:39:07.000 There's a lot of stories about this.
01:39:09.000 I'm getting a shitload of tweets of people asking me to substantiate, but there's a lot of stories.
01:39:15.000 It's all over online. 0.93
01:39:17.000 What, him being a liar?
01:39:18.000 Yeah, well, the concerns.
01:39:20.000 I can't say. 0.98
01:39:21.000 I don't know who the fuck is right and who's wrong. 0.98
01:39:22.000 I didn't do any research. 0.98
01:39:24.000 Except the jury decided.
01:39:25.000 The jury decided.
01:39:26.000 In this one case, that Ventura is right.
01:39:28.000 Yeah.
01:39:28.000 And then nothing else has been...
01:39:30.000 They owe Jesse Ventura $1.8 million, apparently.
01:39:34.000 $1.8 million.
01:39:35.000 Good.
01:39:36.000 It should be $1.9 million.
01:39:37.000 I say $1.7 million.
01:39:40.000 It's all so crazy. 1.00
01:39:40.000 What the fuck? 1.00
01:39:43.000 It's never like $1.81374 million. 0.99
01:39:47.000 It's that exact amount is the pain.
01:39:49.000 How do they come up with it?
01:39:50.000 You narrowed it down to the closest $800,000?
01:39:53.000 That's a weird thing, man, to make a movie about a guy that might have been a liar and put those lies in a movie and that gets all frothy.
01:40:04.000 This is a true story.
01:40:05.000 You know what that means. 1.00
01:40:06.000 That means another fucking attack's coming. 1.00
01:40:09.000 Is that what it means? 1.00
01:40:10.000 What do you think?
01:40:10.000 It's all orchestrated already?
01:40:11.000 Because we've got to get people ready to join up.
01:40:13.000 I don't think so.
01:40:14.000 Yeah, I mean, it's better than a draft.
01:40:14.000 Oh, right.
01:40:16.000 I guess if you've got to pick between a draft and non-draft, if that means ridiculous propaganda movies coming out every year, then...
01:40:25.000 You know what I think?
01:40:26.000 I think we should fight no wars with anyone under 50. I think everybody who goes to war should be over 50. World peace.
01:40:35.000 Let's see how quick we fucking settle this thing. 0.99
01:40:37.000 I bet it would be pretty goddamn quick. 0.99
01:40:39.000 A bunch of old people that just don't want any trouble. 1.00
01:40:39.000 Oh. 1.00
01:40:41.000 I mean...
01:40:42.000 It was like, how can we... 0.96
01:40:43.000 Is there a way to solve this without shooting them?
01:40:45.000 It's like those cops were like, he was coming at me. 0.99
01:40:47.000 And it's like, okay, but shooting them to death is the only way to stop a guy from coming at you?
01:40:51.000 Because you think about the consequences of the decision. 0.99
01:40:53.000 Think about the consequences of a decision to fly in a plane to a place where you've never been and shoot someone you've never known, based on the directions by some people who you don't know, who are making you march.
01:40:53.000 Yeah.
01:41:04.000 They're making you go... 1.00
01:41:06.000 They're making you do all this shit, preparing you for... 1.00
01:41:11.000 You have to listen to them unquestionably. 1.00
01:41:14.000 They gotta come home.
01:41:16.000 Imagine that with 50 year olds.
01:41:19.000 It's never gonna happen.
01:41:21.000 We're sleeping in the desert, no way.
01:41:22.000 We're gonna go, wait a minute, wait a minute, why are we shooting these guys?
01:41:24.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute, we're breaking down what door? 1.00
01:41:25.000 Who the fuck are you? 1.00
01:41:26.000 Who the fuck are you and where'd you go to school? 1.00
01:41:28.000 What's your degree in? 1.00
01:41:29.000 And you're gonna tell me about international politics? 1.00
01:41:31.000 Do you even know these fucking Sunnis? 1.00
01:41:32.000 What's the difference between a Sunni and a Shia, sir? 1.00
01:41:34.000 Tell me what the difference is.
01:41:35.000 Do you know?
01:41:36.000 Do you know why these people were at war with each other?
01:41:37.000 Do you know why they hate each other?
01:41:38.000 Do you know why they hate us?
01:41:39.000 Do you know this is Holy Land?
01:41:41.000 Do you know how long this has been Holy Land?
01:41:43.000 Do you know when they're...
01:41:44.000 If you had a group of 50 year old people...
01:41:46.000 Go there and out slug it?
01:41:48.000 Sit down, soldier, when I'm talking to you!
01:41:51.000 Oh, you're loud, so I have to listen?
01:41:53.000 Is that what's going on?
01:41:55.000 Oh, you don't have anything to say, so you're just going to allow it. 0.89
01:41:58.000 Are you going to get in my face and spit? 0.99
01:41:59.000 Is that going to make me intimidated?
01:42:01.000 And so I'll listen. 1.00
01:42:02.000 So I'll just go and kill some people that you say are bad. 1.00
01:42:05.000 If we did that, if we just had only 50-year-olds and above go to war, the whole fucking thing would change. 1.00
01:42:11.000 The whole thing. 0.99
01:42:11.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:42:12.000 It's just, it's easy to send fucking kids. 1.00
01:42:14.000 They don't know any better. 1.00
01:42:15.000 They'd say your cerebral cortex, your frontal lobe, they're saying, like, for young males especially, because of the fucking influx of testosterone. 1.00
01:42:22.000 They're just like dogs. 1.00
01:42:23.000 They're rowdier.
01:42:23.000 They're rowdier.
01:42:24.000 They're not making rational decisions. 0.99
01:42:26.000 Like when you're a 16-year-old kid, your balls are filled with testosterone. 0.97
01:42:29.000 It's a completely new experience. 0.99
01:42:31.000 By the time you've got to be 40 years old, you've had a lifetime of wanting to cum.
01:42:35.000 A lifetime of knowing what that is and knowing how to mitigate it. 0.99
01:42:39.000 When you're 17, 18, you don't know what the fuck is happening to your body. 0.99
01:42:44.000 You add into that masturbation guilt. 0.99
01:42:47.000 People who are actually avoiding masturbation, most of us don't, but there are some who do.
01:42:53.000 So they try it as little as possible.
01:42:55.000 Don't they still put the white gloves on the Marines?
01:42:56.000 When they get caught masturbating, they make them wear a white glove all around.
01:43:00.000 Wasn't that a thing with Marines? 0.93
01:43:01.000 I would wear white gloves on someone who's not masturbating. 1.00
01:43:03.000 That motherfucker's gonna blow. 1.00
01:43:06.000 White glove, white warning. 1.00
01:43:08.000 They should have one of those GoPros over your bunk, and if they don't see you beating off under the sheets, they can fucking ask you questions. 0.97
01:43:15.000 Duncan, you want to come in here and talk to us real quick? 0.97
01:43:17.000 You got anything on your mind? 1.00
01:43:18.000 Like maybe pussy? 1.00
01:43:19.000 Yeah, no shit, man. 1.00
01:43:21.000 Pussy or booties or something on your mind? 1.00
01:43:23.000 You're trying to keep boys assholes? 1.00
01:43:25.000 No, sir, I'm just thinking about killing right now. 1.00
01:43:29.000 Duncan, this is not the type of soldier we're looking for in this here army. 1.00
01:43:32.000 We want well-balanced individuals that make rational choices based on the evidence at hand, not based on lust, not based on a ball full of cum just waiting to fucking jizz all over some new part of the world to spread your fucking seed. 1.00
01:43:45.000 My gun is my cock, the bullets are my jizz, and the brains of the Mujahideen are my pussy friend. 1.00
01:43:56.000 Oh, my God. 1.00
01:43:57.000 In the movie, they told him his best friend had died.
01:43:58.000 They go, Jim's dead, bro.
01:44:01.000 He said, bro.
01:44:02.000 Oh, God.
01:44:04.000 Is it really this bad?
01:44:05.000 Bill died, bro.
01:44:06.000 You got to go see it, man.
01:44:07.000 Oh, my God.
01:44:09.000 It's awful.
01:44:09.000 And you want to get up and leave, but you're like, are you going to call me un-American if I just think the filmmaking of this is bad?
01:44:14.000 That's how manipulative it is.
01:44:16.000 Like, you want to walk out, but simultaneously, you feel like you're being, like...
01:44:19.000 You had to go 218 on this?
01:44:21.000 You couldn't have done this in an hour, an hour 26?
01:44:21.000 This is kind of...
01:44:24.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:44:27.000 It's kind of embarrassing if this turns out that this guy really did make up all this shit. 0.99
01:44:31.000 Because there's another article I'm looking at right now about the criticism of the post-Katrina New Orleans story, like how it's all total horseshit, how they can prove it's horseshit because he wasn't even there at that time. 0.99
01:44:42.000 Yeah, it's like there's a lot of horseshit.
01:44:45.000 I mean, there's Facebook pages.
01:44:47.000 And in the movie, it's all he's just trying to downplay all of his legend, even though now it's like he's the one who was saying it.
01:44:52.000 They'll fry you for this if you're wrong.
01:44:54.000 Good luck with the shot.
01:44:55.000 I know I'm not in... 0.88
01:44:57.000 They'll fry you for it.
01:44:58.000 Yeah, they'll fry you.
01:44:59.000 They'll put you in leavenworth.
01:45:00.000 Why aren't you looking?
01:45:01.000 You're the spotter!
01:45:02.000 Look!
01:45:03.000 You helped him tell if it's an IUD or not!
01:45:06.000 Why are you just crouching behind a wall? 1.00
01:45:08.000 Just fucking up his shot! 0.99
01:45:09.000 I hope you needed extra pressure on this. 1.00
01:45:11.000 There's a Facebook page, I'm not endorsing this, I'm just letting you know, that's dedicated entirely to the subject, and it's Chris Kyle was a murderous liar. 0.96
01:45:20.000 Murderous. 0.99
01:45:21.000 It's a community on Facebook, and it's all a bunch of different posts saying that, you know, saying how much it was bullshit. 1.00
01:45:29.000 This is crazy, man. 0.97
01:45:32.000 Yeah, I guess people don't want to, it's really hard for people to digest the simple fact that war makes a lot of money for a small amount of people.
01:45:42.000 It's a profitable endeavor and if you want to make money in that industry then you've got to convince heroes Because that is a heroic instinct.
01:45:53.000 It's a really sweet impulse.
01:45:55.000 The idea that I will give my life to protect you.
01:45:59.000 To protect people I don't know.
01:46:01.000 That's one of the highest human aspirations.
01:46:03.000 It's like an incredible thing.
01:46:05.000 So you take those people who have this incredible aspiration to give their life to protect people and you lie to them Yeah. 0.89
01:46:15.000 Brainwash them and send them to a place to kill people based on this very incredible... 0.91
01:46:20.000 Noble thing. 1.00
01:46:20.000 Yeah, they made Pat Tillman leave the NFL and fucking give his life. 1.00
01:46:20.000 Noble thing. 1.00
01:46:23.000 And by the way, well, no, Pat Tillman did it on his own.
01:46:26.000 Yeah.
01:46:27.000 But I'm saying, I put it in his mind, we need you to do this.
01:46:28.000 But Pat Tillman was a huge critic once he got over there.
01:46:33.000 You know, he was killed by friendly fire.
01:46:34.000 And there's many people that have speculated they murdered him. 0.97
01:46:36.000 They murdered him because he wouldn't shut the fuck up about how disorganized everything was. 1.00
01:46:40.000 About what a dog and pony show and everything was fucked up. 1.00
01:46:43.000 The people that he had listened to were all assholes. 1.00
01:46:45.000 He was like, this is crazy. 1.00
01:46:47.000 Like, this is not what I signed up for.
01:46:48.000 This is not what I wanted. 0.98
01:46:50.000 There's total chaos, which led to this fucking crossfire situation. 1.00
01:46:54.000 Pat fucking Tillman! 1.00
01:46:55.000 Tell him to stop shooting! 1.00
01:46:56.000 And then they shot him.
01:46:57.000 They shot his whole troop up though, right?
01:46:59.000 Yeah, I mean, look, when you start shooting things, that's the other thing, they become targets.
01:47:03.000 Things become targets.
01:47:05.000 They don't comment on drone mistakes. 0.99
01:47:07.000 They don't comment on the times when it blows up a fucking wedding convention. 0.98
01:47:10.000 Which is most of the time. 0.99
01:47:12.000 There's more mistakes.
01:47:13.000 The innocents, and our policy is not to comment on that.
01:47:15.000 Like, wait, why is that an allowable policy?
01:47:17.000 Yeah, the percentage is terrifying.
01:47:20.000 If you look at the percentage of people that are actually killed by drones that are their intended targets, it's terrifying.
01:47:25.000 Well, they shouldn't be terrorists, but they're not.
01:47:26.000 There is surgical strikes.
01:47:28.000 How crazy is that?
01:47:28.000 Yeah.
01:47:29.000 It's not a scalpel on the end of a fishing pole.
01:47:32.000 Yeah. 0.96
01:47:33.000 It's the idea that surgical is retarded. 0.98
01:47:36.000 If we had drones going overhead, and then I found out who's responsible for it, Yemen, and I'm a little kid, and I'm like, this fucking Yemen drone that's over here killed my kid. 0.99
01:47:44.000 It's like, goddamn right I'm going to want to attack Yemen. 1.00
01:47:47.000 Stop fucking sending that shit over here! 1.00
01:47:48.000 You killed my father! 1.00
01:47:50.000 Yeah, well, not only that, but... 0.98
01:47:51.000 Why wouldn't they want to...
01:47:53.000 If you look at the...
01:47:55.000 We were talking earlier about what you were saying about these invading armies in Iraq and all the people that have PTSD and the birth defects.
01:48:03.000 You've got to go way back to the original Gulf War. 0.98
01:48:06.000 They were using fucking depleted uranium, and everybody forgets about this. 0.99
01:48:10.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:48:10.000 Completely sweeps this under the rug. 0.99
01:48:12.000 It was proven. 1.00
01:48:13.000 They used depleted uranium shells that blew right through fucking tanks. 0.99
01:48:17.000 This incredibly dense nuclear waste that poisons everything around it for, what, 100,000 years? 1.00
01:48:23.000 No big deal.
01:48:24.000 We're expecting those 15-year-olds, who are the 40-year-olds now, to go...
01:48:24.000 And that was 25 years ago.
01:48:28.000 Oh, well, I don't care anymore.
01:48:29.000 No big deal.
01:48:30.000 Yeah.
01:48:31.000 I'll just forget about that time you killed my entire family.
01:48:34.000 Oh, and you're right here?
01:48:35.000 Someone representing your government's right here?
01:48:37.000 Oh, totally cool.
01:48:38.000 But it's something that we're not supposed to talk about, just like the ideologies that we discussed earlier.
01:48:43.000 Just like religion. 0.74
01:48:44.000 It falls into a religion.
01:48:45.000 You gotta talk about it.
01:48:46.000 Nationalism falls into a religion.
01:48:47.000 If you don't all start talking about it, then you can't talk about it.
01:48:51.000 Well, it's also because, like, look, there are bad people.
01:48:51.000 You gotta talk about it.
01:48:54.000 You gotta all keep talking about it.
01:48:55.000 That's why it's all leaked, because everyone's like, I don't have a big deal, right?
01:48:58.000 Everyone talks about it, becomes normalized.
01:48:59.000 You gotta just talk about it at all times.
01:49:01.000 Exactly.
01:49:02.000 With your friends, with whatever.
01:49:04.000 And it doesn't mean that you don't...
01:49:05.000 This is where people get confused.
01:49:06.000 It doesn't mean that there aren't heroes, and it doesn't mean you don't need a defense. 1.00
01:49:09.000 You don't need to be able to protect yourself from some fucking North Korean asshole if that guy decides to start taking over the world. 1.00
01:49:16.000 Like, what if they had massive resources? 1.00
01:49:18.000 We're lucky they're in a resource-starved environment.
01:49:21.000 So you have this communist dictator with nuclear weapons in a resource-starved environment where they have to shut the lights off at night because they can't afford to keep them on. 0.94
01:49:28.000 But if that guy had oil or gold or something crazy and like Saudi Arabia-type money, if like one of those guys became some sort of a fucking world-spreading villain, you need heroes. 0.77
01:49:41.000 You need real soldiers that are willing to fight against bad people. 0.85
01:49:45.000 That's what happened in World War II, right?
01:49:47.000 In World War II, when you had the Nazis and all that, I mean, I'm sure there's all sorts of complexities.
01:49:51.000 They used the justified war argument as proof to get us into sort of way less justified wars.
01:49:51.000 But they used the Nazis.
01:49:57.000 Absolutely.
01:49:58.000 And what we were saying before about religion.
01:50:00.000 It's the best thing to happen to the U.S. Army. 0.97
01:50:02.000 They're like, look, now we can do anything if we just say we're doing the right thing.
01:50:06.000 Exactly.
01:50:07.000 It's exactly the same thing we were saying about religion.
01:50:10.000 It's not that these people are bad people, and it's not that God is bad.
01:50:14.000 No one's saying that.
01:50:15.000 But what we're saying is, look what's being done in the name of this, and look how there's no thinking.
01:50:21.000 Whenever there's no thinking and horrific acts are being done, there's no thinking. 0.99
01:50:25.000 If you're ever in a situation where a fucking little kid has a rocket launcher, everybody should stop what they're doing, get the fuck out of there, and try to figure out, A, how did this happen, and B, how do you fix it? 1.00
01:50:38.000 And the way you don't fix it is by shooting kids. 1.00
01:50:40.000 That doesn't fix shit. 1.00
01:50:41.000 That's just like the mother, my baby! 0.98
01:50:44.000 You know what the Oklahoma PD is doing now? 0.99
01:50:45.000 Oklahoma PD is starting up like youth basketball leagues and they're coaching and stuff so that the youth grow up not going, fuck the police, but like, no, the police are cool. 0.95
01:50:52.000 They help us out and stuff. 0.91
01:50:53.000 That's a great idea.
01:50:54.000 So it's like, look, we can't solve it right now, but 20 years from now, it'll be better than it is now.
01:50:58.000 Well, it's also what's happened in New York when they did the police slowdown where they just wouldn't arrest anybody.
01:51:03.000 Anything after those two kids got or those two Cops got shot by that one guy. 1.00
01:51:08.000 Yeah That one guy who by the way also shot his fucking ex-girlfriend like that was a piece of shit like to People to think he's a hero like Jesus Christ. 1.00
01:51:17.000 He shot his girlfriend first and then he went shot those cops. 1.00
01:51:20.000 He was a psychotic murderous person but because of that act and The cops backed up. 1.00
01:51:27.000 The cops finally stopped fucking with people? 0.99
01:51:30.000 They need to stay where they're at, right there. 0.99
01:51:32.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:51:33.000 Right where they are, right there. 0.98
01:51:34.000 After they get killed.
01:51:35.000 Why are you fighting against cameras?
01:51:36.000 I'm not saying that they should be scared all the time of being murdered, but I'm saying the attitude that they develop, like, okay, we're not going to arrest anybody for anything that's not important.
01:51:44.000 That's all you should have ever been doing.
01:51:46.000 Exactly.
01:51:46.000 Yeah, right.
01:51:47.000 You're not a fucking revenue collector. 0.99
01:51:48.000 It's illegal to sell cigarettes outside, so tell him to get lost. 1.00
01:51:52.000 You'll shake him down. 1.00
01:51:52.000 Or don't do shit. 1.00
01:51:53.000 How about that? 1.00
01:51:53.000 How about you hire a fucking lawyer to go sue that guy, and then you find out he doesn't have any money, he's not going to pay you anyway. 1.00
01:51:59.000 There's your problem. 1.00
01:52:00.000 You've got a problem with tax collecting.
01:52:02.000 If that guy robs somebody, then you bring in the cops.
01:52:06.000 If he comes in and he breaks into your house and steals your TV, then you have the cops.
01:52:14.000 Choking a guy because he's not paying cigarette tax? 0.99
01:52:17.000 What the fuck are the cops? 0.99
01:52:19.000 Yeah, it's not like New York plunged into chaos because they stopped enforcing them. 0.99
01:52:24.000 How about write him a ticket?
01:52:25.000 You know how much nicer the world would be if cops only acted in that slow-down manner?
01:52:25.000 Yeah.
01:52:30.000 But they don't act like that with a big black man. 0.99
01:52:32.000 There's a huge racism thing there. 0.86
01:52:33.000 I mean, it would be incredible.
01:52:34.000 Yeah, they don't act that way.
01:52:35.000 You've been there over the last few months.
01:52:37.000 You moved there like half the...
01:52:39.000 What is your experience like in the difference between racism out here as opposed to racism there?
01:52:43.000 Well, everyone's all joined in.
01:52:44.000 Here we're way more separated. 0.99
01:52:45.000 But it's like, I don't think we see shit. 0.99
01:52:48.000 Like, white people don't even see, like, they're constantly getting, like, you know what resisting arrest is? 0.99
01:52:52.000 Resisting arrest is after the first time somebody's like, hey, let me see your ID, and they grab you, and they push you. 0.99
01:52:57.000 The second time, the same shit happens, a cop pushes you.
01:52:59.000 The fourth time, they say, get out of your car, and they grab your arrest, and they go, come on, man, if you pull back, you've resisted arrest. 0.99
01:53:04.000 Wow.
01:53:05.000 Enough, come on, I'm late for a movie!
01:53:08.000 Let's just talk about this first!
01:53:10.000 You've resisted arrest.
01:53:11.000 Right, and it's up to their discretion whether or not they choose to arrest you or don't arrest you.
01:53:15.000 Some people get off on the exact same charge and they skate, whereas other people get arrested.
01:53:21.000 Like if you're a white guy with a suit and you do a certain thing. 1.00
01:53:24.000 The stop and frisk was based on stop and frisk people, Latinos and blacks, who look like they might have some shit. 1.00
01:53:29.000 Right, you didn't see it on Wall Street. 1.00
01:53:31.000 You didn't see them instigating stop and frisk on Wall Street.
01:53:33.000 So people on Wall Street weren't as outraged about it. 0.99
01:53:35.000 Stop and frisk for shit that shouldn't be illegal in the first place. 0.99
01:53:38.000 Right, so that's like an illegal search. 0.99
01:53:39.000 It's like saying we're going to just search you because we have no reason to search you.
01:53:42.000 Well, it could have been weapons, right?
01:53:44.000 Yeah, but it's generally...
01:53:45.000 They were looking for weapons.
01:53:46.000 They're looking for...
01:53:47.000 I mean, it's dope, man.
01:53:48.000 They want to get you for dope. 1.00
01:53:49.000 Oh, right, then they arrest you for dope. 0.53
01:53:50.000 We're looking for weapons.
01:53:51.000 Oh, weed, huh?
01:53:53.000 Now you go to jail.
01:53:53.000 Oh, it's something that grows out of the earth.
01:53:55.000 It helps cancer.
01:53:56.000 And I'll be able to stop seizures.
01:53:58.000 Yeah, if I'm a cop and I don't like you, and I see something, even if I don't think it's wrong, if I'm a 23-year-old, I'm like, well, I'm going to put you in jail now.
01:54:06.000 I don't even think it's wrong.
01:54:07.000 Wall Street guy with a leather-bound briefcase.
01:54:10.000 It has your engravement of your initials and your family crest on it.
01:54:14.000 They pull you over.
01:54:15.000 They stop and frisk you.
01:54:17.000 Pop open the...
01:54:17.000 You see a bottle of heroin.
01:54:21.000 Heroin pills.
01:54:22.000 But on that bottle has your name on it.
01:54:25.000 Seems to match.
01:54:26.000 Here's your heroin bag.
01:54:27.000 You've registered.
01:54:28.000 You've registered.
01:54:29.000 You've paid your taxes.
01:54:31.000 The king got his price up this.
01:54:31.000 It's absurd.
01:54:33.000 From the doctor as well.
01:54:34.000 You know how I know that people would abuse their privileges based on stuff they don't even believe in?
01:54:37.000 We have a Comedians Basketball League, and we're all playing, and it's a direct league.
01:54:41.000 They call technicals on curses and stuff, and so if you hear somebody curse- Comedians?
01:54:44.000 Yeah, well, they don't know it's a Comedians League.
01:54:46.000 We just made our own Comedians League. 0.99
01:54:48.000 But if we hear somebody cursing, some other comedian, if I hear fucking Jeff Dye curse, I go, oh, he cursed! 0.99
01:54:53.000 He cursed! 1.00
01:54:53.000 And we all try to get a fucking cheap technical off shit that no comic believes cursing should be not allowed. 1.00
01:54:59.000 Right, but isn't that just for fun? 0.99
01:55:01.000 Like, you're only doing it for fun. 0.99
01:55:02.000 Yeah, but we want the fucking benefit. 0.99
01:55:03.000 We're going to abuse our power that we don't believe in. 0.99
01:55:06.000 Ha ha! 1.00
01:55:07.000 Of course, if you're 23, somebody goes, fuck you, cop. 1.00
01:55:09.000 Like, well, I'll look at anything I can to put you in jail right now. 1.00
01:55:12.000 That would be like if we were playing pool, and I go, oh, it's fucking shot. 0.99
01:55:16.000 Oh, give me ball in hand! 0.98
01:55:17.000 Exactly, because I cursed, and you'd actually ask for it.
01:55:20.000 No, no, no, dude, you gotta give me ball in hand.
01:55:21.000 Like, that would be such a...
01:55:22.000 You should be like, I decline that rule.
01:55:24.000 Douchey game!
01:55:25.000 You guys do that playing basketball?
01:55:27.000 You need to stop.
01:55:28.000 You need to get on mushrooms and think about that.
01:55:30.000 Yeah.
01:55:30.000 Calling technicals on people for swearing.
01:55:32.000 I say, when they're technicals like that or not having your jersey, I'm like, we're comics.
01:55:34.000 Nobody remembers to wash their jersey.
01:55:36.000 And it's only comics playing against comics?
01:55:38.000 We made our own league.
01:55:39.000 So it's only you guys.
01:55:40.000 So you have to have done an open mic at least to get on that thing.
01:55:42.000 That's hilarious.
01:55:43.000 Except we have one team.
01:55:44.000 We call them the corporate sellouts, and that's all the agents and managers.
01:55:48.000 Oh, that's funny.
01:55:49.000 You know what you should do? 0.98
01:55:50.000 You should recruit really fucking good players and just get them to do an open mic. 1.00
01:55:54.000 That's what Rick Glassman shit. 0.99
01:55:56.000 And he gets them to do one open mic. 0.99
01:55:56.000 That's what he does. 0.99
01:55:58.000 That's all you'd have to do.
01:55:58.000 Like, no, man.
01:55:59.000 The point is to play the game with comics.
01:56:01.000 We're all having fun.
01:56:03.000 Play the game with comics.
01:56:04.000 Well, we used to have a comics softball league back in Boston.
01:56:07.000 Oh, my God.
01:56:07.000 Really?
01:56:08.000 It would get so competitive.
01:56:10.000 It was so crazy.
01:56:12.000 It was like...
01:56:13.000 Competitive. 0.99
01:56:13.000 People screaming at people over fucking fouls or where the ball was in, the ball was out. 0.99
01:56:19.000 It's like, oh my god. 0.98
01:56:21.000 I remember people in each other's face, throwing their gloves down, screaming at each other.
01:56:24.000 A comics baseball game.
01:56:27.000 But that's Boston, too.
01:56:28.000 Baby babies without their bottles.
01:56:29.000 I was back at Boston.
01:56:30.000 They fixed that club.
01:56:32.000 That's great.
01:56:33.000 The sound system is awesome.
01:56:34.000 You don't have to worry about it anymore.
01:56:36.000 Because everybody had that rumor that was out that the sound system sucked. 1.00
01:56:39.000 It's loud as fuck. 0.99
01:56:40.000 It did feed back once when I got on top of the actual speaker. 0.99
01:56:45.000 That wasn't what I was talking about.
01:56:46.000 But that happens almost everywhere.
01:56:47.000 Unless it's perfect.
01:56:49.000 That's one thing the improv does. 0.89
01:56:50.000 There's never a fuck up.
01:56:52.000 If you're working in improv, the sound system's always perfect, the seating is always perfect, there's never sightline issues. 0.99
01:56:59.000 They don't ever fuck around.
01:57:00.000 You know some clubs that you work out, they're kind of funky? 0.99
01:57:03.000 It's like those stadiums where you can't even see fly balls.
01:57:06.000 Yeah, but clubs are worse because there's often pillars in the room.
01:57:09.000 And if you're behind that pillar and you go to the right side, the people that are behind that pillar literally can't even see you.
01:57:15.000 They're there, but they have to watch monitors in a club.
01:57:18.000 The improv has that nailed.
01:57:20.000 They always say, no, you've got to set this up like that.
01:57:23.000 All of them are like, nope, set it up like that.
01:57:26.000 This way.
01:57:27.000 It's got Todd Glass level approval.
01:57:29.000 Todd Glass.
01:57:30.000 That's Helium. 0.56
01:57:31.000 Helium, he helped them design.
01:57:32.000 Oh, he did?
01:57:33.000 Yeah, Helium in Philly.
01:57:35.000 Listen, I gotta go. 0.99
01:57:36.000 Get the fuck out of here! 0.99
01:57:38.000 Can I say something real quick? 0.99
01:57:39.000 Absolutely.
01:57:40.000 I'm gonna be doing a live Duncan Trussell Family Hour podcast on the 25th, which is this Sunday, in Dallas, Texas.
01:57:47.000 And ticket links are at my website.
01:57:49.000 Good lord, Duncan Trussell.
01:57:51.000 A live Duncan Trussell Family Hour in Dallas.
01:57:53.000 With Johnny Pendleton.
01:57:54.000 With Johnny Pepperton!
01:57:55.000 Please tell me I can go!
01:57:57.000 Please!
01:57:58.000 Is it this weekend?
01:57:59.000 It's this weekend, this Sunday.
01:58:01.000 I'm going to be in Sweden.
01:58:01.000 Where is it?
01:58:02.000 That's in Dallas, and then I'm doing Austin and the Come and Take It Comedy Festival, which is in Houston, too.
01:58:08.000 What is it called?
01:58:09.000 The what?
01:58:09.000 The Come and Take It Comedy Takeover Festival.
01:58:12.000 It's on my website.
01:58:13.000 If you're in Texas, come out and see a podcast.
01:58:16.000 Yee-haw! 1.00
01:58:17.000 And Comedy Central, This Is Not Happening premieres.
01:58:21.000 This Thursday.
01:58:22.000 Every Thursday at 12.30 after midnight for eight straight weeks.
01:58:25.000 Boom, son.
01:58:26.000 Eight different openings.
01:58:27.000 The director's crazy. 0.58
01:58:28.000 Boom, son.
01:58:29.000 And on top of that, the other videos are available all on YouTube.
01:58:34.000 Go to This Is Not Happening on YouTube.
01:58:36.000 Just enter that.
01:58:37.000 They should all be coming up.
01:58:38.000 Good googly moogly, ladies and gentlemen.
01:58:39.000 Dawkins will be out tomorrow.
01:58:40.000 My new one's out today.
01:58:41.000 Alright, I'm gone all week.
01:58:42.000 No more podcasts. 1.00
01:58:43.000 Go fuck yourself. 1.00
01:58:44.000 Thanks, everybody. 1.00
01:58:45.000 See you soon.
01:58:46.000 Oh, June, January 30th.
01:58:48.000 I'm at the Mirage in Las Vegas.
01:58:51.000 Again, back at the Mirage.
01:58:52.000 With Tony Hinchcliffe and Ian Edwards.
01:58:54.000 So we'll see you then.
01:58:54.000 Alright, much love.
01:58:55.000 Bye.
01:58:55.000 Bye.