The Joe Rogan Experience - April 15, 2015


Joe Rogan Experience #635 - Jim Norton

Topics
dirty comedy clean comedy vagina shaming size matters working out black mold black mold breathing problems Uncle Paul characters internet radio in cars internet connectivity benefits Justine Sacco and her tweet about Africa fat shaming food addiction video games video game addiction video game controls golf addiction sleep apnea and frustration
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Jim Norton
Mentioned
Anthony Johnson Joan Rivers Uncle Paul Jimmy Robinson Jim Norton Johnny Jimi Hendrix Eugene Mellencamp Edgar Mellencamp Carson Louie Bobby Kelly Bill Burr Bobby Kennedy Trevor Noah Chip Philip Seymour Hoffman Ozzy Osbourne Sam Kinison Mike Tyson and 110 more
Joe Rogan Experience #633 - Alex Winter Joe Rogan Experience #636 - Bryan Callen

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 10 minutes

Words per minute

218.08

Word count

28,405

Sentence count

3,005

Harmful content

Misogyny

104

sentences flagged

Toxicity

994

sentences flagged

Hate speech

60

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, the boys talk about broadcasting, holograms, Orson Welles, pot, and the Eagles' new song Warm Smell of Kalitas by the Eagles. They also talk about what it's like to be in the early 20th century, and what it was like growing up in the 80s and 90s listening to the radio and watching old TV shows on the old school radio tower. They also get into the early days of the stock market crash, and they talk about when marijuana was legalized in the U.S. A.K.A. in the late 19th century. This episode was produced and edited by Alex Blumberg and Sarah Abdurrahman. Our theme song was written and performed by Micah Vellian and our ad music was made by Mark Phillips. We were mixed and produced by Matthew Boll. Our editor was Matthew Boll and our editor was Patrick Muldowney. Special thanks to our sponsor, Caff Monster Trucks. and our sponsor Ajinomoto. We are a proud supporter of the podcast and thank them for making great sound quality, editing, and providing great sound effects, and we hope you enjoy listening to this episode. Please rate, review and subscribe to the podcast! if you like what you hear, share it on your socials, and tell us what you think about it on Apple Podcasts, or share it with a friend, or tell us about it in the podcast or whatever else you're listening to us on your podcasting platform, and/or share us on social media. . or tweet us your thoughts on the podcast, we care about this episode! and we'll be listening to it! Timestamps: on Insta: . . . , is a big thank you! , and we're looking out for more like this in the best episode of this episode of the show! on insta , of course, and more like it on Instacademy :) can't wait to do more of this next week's episode? of this podcast, tweet us in the next one! or do you have a review? , tweet us ;) ? we're listening out for your thoughts? or your thoughts/tweet about it? and your thoughts about this one? on , or your review is also on this episode

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Broadcasting.
00:00:01.000 Are we broadcasting?
00:00:02.000 How does this work?
00:00:03.000 I think we are.
00:00:03.000 I think we are brothers in broadcasting.
00:00:05.000 I like that.
00:00:06.000 I think, yeah, if we want to talk about it.
00:00:07.000 Brothers in stand-up and broadcasting.
00:00:09.000 Broadcasting is like, isn't that like a signal, though?
00:00:11.000 Like, doesn't that only...
00:00:13.000 Is that like when you're sending something through the air?
00:00:16.000 Broadcast!
00:00:17.000 I don't know.
00:00:18.000 I mean, don't forget that this didn't exist when that term came up, so that probably would have encompassed this, too.
00:00:23.000 I guess, but broadcast, for whatever reason to me, it feels like you're sending like a wired signal, like the old-school-y TV signal.
00:00:31.000 Yeah, coming off the radio tower, yeah. 0.99
00:00:34.000 Imagine what that must have been like when the first TVs came about, and you're sitting in your house, and all this time you've just been listening to the radio like an asshole. 0.74
00:00:42.000 And then finally, they have this box that you can sit in front of, and you get to see an actual image. 0.65
00:00:48.000 And it's moving around, and you know that the whole country's watching at the same time.
00:00:52.000 They probably reacted to that the way we will react to holograms.
00:00:56.000 Eventually, say you're in a live-action movie.
00:00:59.000 Say movies you can be immersed in holograms.
00:01:01.000 Eventually, that's how... 0.93
00:01:03.000 The way we look at that is how they probably look to TV, because the whole family would just sit around this shitty black and white box and just stare at it. 0.73
00:01:09.000 Oh, the elections are coming! 0.99
00:01:11.000 Fucking boring stuff, but that must have been amazing, like magic in your house. 0.99
00:01:14.000 Well, even just the radio before that was magic, where they could all sit around a broadcast of H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds. 0.99
00:01:21.000 Remember when that story from, I guess it was like...
00:01:26.000 What year was that?
00:01:27.000 It was in the 30s, I guess.
00:01:29.000 Orson Welles, right, with them killing themselves?
00:01:31.000 Yeah.
00:01:32.000 I don't know.
00:01:32.000 I think Snopes attacked that and said there's no evidence in any way to kill themselves.
00:01:36.000 Oh, I didn't know that.
00:01:37.000 It was like one of those urban myth things. 1.00
00:01:39.000 Does that show what a piece of shit I am? 1.00
00:01:41.000 I'm disappointed that no one came in. 1.00
00:01:42.000 I actually went, oh, oh, nerds.
00:01:44.000 I'm so sad about that.
00:01:46.000 It sounds like one of those things that is being pretty hard to prove.
00:01:49.000 We're going to go back to 1930 and find out who killed themselves over an Orson Welles radio broadcast. 0.97
00:01:55.000 People are going to be reluctant to talk about that slow uncle who blew his fucking brains out because he believed the actor man was telling the truth. 0.99
00:02:02.000 He's probably depressed anyway because he's obviously a dope. 0.99
00:02:04.000 He probably lost a lot of money in the market crash.
00:02:06.000 Was it over by 35?
00:02:07.000 I guess it was.
00:02:08.000 When was the market crash?
00:02:10.000 It was 35?
00:02:11.000 No, it was, I think, I want to say early 20s?
00:02:14.000 Was it?
00:02:14.000 29, maybe?
00:02:15.000 35 was, what was Prohibition?
00:02:17.000 33?
00:02:18.000 Well, no, it was in the 20s, too, don't forget, because Borowak Empire's in the 20s, I think, and that's all through Prohibition. 0.90
00:02:24.000 Right.
00:02:24.000 I don't know when it ended.
00:02:25.000 I feel like, I want to say it ended in 33, and then marijuana became criminalized in 35. Was it legal before then or just not known?
00:02:33.000 Yeah, it was legal before then, but they didn't call it marijuana. 0.94
00:02:35.000 It was only called marijuana after William Randolph Hearst started printing these articles about blacks and Mexicans taking this new drug and raping white women, and they called it marijuana. 0.99
00:02:49.000 Oh, wow. 0.99
00:02:49.000 But that was a name for a wild Mexican tobacco. 0.99
00:02:53.000 That's what marijuana was.
00:02:54.000 They used to call it cannabis.
00:02:56.000 That's what it was.
00:02:57.000 It was hemp, cannabis, and they would smoke cannabis.
00:03:01.000 They would smoke hash, and all that stuff was the same plant.
00:03:04.000 But it was really what they were after was hemp.
00:03:06.000 As a commodity.
00:03:07.000 They were trying to make hemp a commodity very difficult to take over for paper and for cotton.
00:03:15.000 They'd made some new invention called a decorticator and it was going to be able to really easily process hemp fibers.
00:03:21.000 That's where all this came from.
00:03:22.000 Oh, okay.
00:03:23.000 Supposedly.
00:03:24.000 Again, it's sketchy stuff.
00:03:26.000 Did they ever call it Kalitas like an Eagles song?
00:03:29.000 That's the only time I've ever heard that.
00:03:30.000 I heard it was Pot, Warm Smell of Kalitas.
00:03:32.000 Is that what they call it?
00:03:33.000 I've never heard of that.
00:03:34.000 That's what I heard in that Eagles documentary.
00:03:37.000 Is that Kalitas rising up through the air? 0.53
00:03:39.000 I always wondered what that name was they were saying.
00:03:42.000 I think it's a name for Pot, Warm Smell of Kalitas.
00:03:45.000 He said the whole song was about show business or L.A. or whatever, but it just made me think.
00:03:49.000 That makes sense.
00:03:50.000 That makes sense.
00:03:51.000 But my point being, there's no point.
00:03:53.000 It was a long-ass time ago. 0.96
00:03:56.000 They had so much less information coming at them every day that just getting that signal from the radio must have been a big fucking deal. 0.95
00:04:04.000 Like, whoa! 0.97
00:04:05.000 Yeah.
00:04:06.000 Yeah, grabbing around with a ball game.
00:04:07.000 They'd all just sit around and look at it. 0.98
00:04:09.000 Imagine just looking at a fucking radio and hanging on the soap operas, the radio soap operas they would do, the weekly ones. 0.99
00:04:16.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:04:17.000 Fuck, man. 1.00
00:04:18.000 All those guys that did the Foley work with the paper, crinkling up as a fire, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. 1.00
00:04:22.000 They had comedies and dramas. 0.51
00:04:26.000 Some of those are really fucking cool to listen to today, too.
00:04:30.000 You're driving, like if you've got a gig you're going to, listen to one of them old-timey suspense radio programs. 0.72
00:04:36.000 Dun-dun! 0.98
00:04:37.000 Yeah.
00:04:38.000 It's like a time machine.
00:04:39.000 Have you heard Tom Papa's?
00:04:41.000 It's called Come to Papa.
00:04:42.000 And we do that.
00:04:43.000 He does them live at the Village Underground.
00:04:44.000 I think he does them here in L.A. Where he'll give us all the script and we'll go out in front of a live audience.
00:04:49.000 And they're awesome.
00:04:50.000 And he's always got like a weird theme, like a Christmas theme or Thanksgiving.
00:04:53.000 And then you wind up reading it and you're getting real audience laughs.
00:04:57.000 And it's so great to act and not have to be off book. 0.99
00:04:59.000 Just hold your fucking script there. 0.99
00:05:01.000 It's like doing a play with a script in your hand. 1.00
00:05:02.000 Wow, and so he does it live in front of an audience and he writes all the scripts out?
00:05:06.000 He does, yeah, but he's cool.
00:05:07.000 Like, we'll go through one rehearsal like that night and then you just, you know, I always change stuff to make it sound like me and he doesn't care.
00:05:14.000 And they're really fun to do.
00:05:15.000 He's got Matt Damon to do them.
00:05:16.000 Wow.
00:05:17.000 Because Tom has really famous friends because he doesn't bother them for photos.
00:05:20.000 So they actually see him as an equal.
00:05:21.000 He's a sweetheart that guy.
00:05:23.000 He is a good dude.
00:05:23.000 I really only hung out with him for the first time when he did my podcast.
00:05:26.000 I had like met him before like I said hi I think maybe at the most but never really talked to him before he came in to do the podcast.
00:05:33.000 He's a great guy. 0.91
00:05:34.000 He's funny too and and he's a weird guy like Tom is one of those guys like he's clean but he fucking murders on stage like you know a lot of times you watch a clean guy up there like oh you stink Papa's so good, man. 0.94
00:05:47.000 He's a guy that you watch in the cell. 0.89
00:05:48.000 You're like, he's totally clean.
00:05:50.000 He can perform in front of any audience, and you can't even hate him.
00:05:53.000 You're like, he's just a funny guy.
00:05:54.000 Well, some people, that's just what they think of, you know?
00:05:56.000 There's nothing wrong with it.
00:05:57.000 I think we all, especially you and I coming up, we kind of got...
00:06:01.000 We were in a time...
00:06:03.000 We pretty much started around the same time, right?
00:06:06.000 Like, you started in the late 80s.
00:06:07.000 1990s.
00:06:07.000 Yeah.
00:06:07.000 I started in 88. So by the time I had come to New York, it was like 90, 91, and you were just getting started.
00:06:14.000 So we were both kind of getting started around the same time.
00:06:16.000 And there was like, there was clean camps back then and dirty camps. 0.82
00:06:20.000 And we were looked at as like the dummies. 0.98
00:06:23.000 Like, ah, these guys are dirty. 0.99
00:06:25.000 Is he funny? 0.99
00:06:26.000 Ah, they're just dirty.
00:06:27.000 And they would look at what you're doing as like it would have less merit. 1.00
00:06:30.000 Because even though he's killing, yeah, he's killing, but he's just, he's talking about getting his dick sucked by a guy. 1.00
00:06:35.000 It's weird stuff. 1.00
00:06:37.000 You know, and people would have this, like, dismissal of it.
00:06:39.000 That doesn't really exist anymore.
00:06:41.000 No, I don't see it as much.
00:06:43.000 I don't hear, maybe, again, because I'm not on the open mic thing anymore, but I don't, I remember that clean and dirty, and I've always thought, they thought there was so much more valor and cleanliness.
00:06:51.000 Yeah.
00:06:51.000 And there's not.
00:06:52.000 Well, it's censorship.
00:06:54.000 That's all it is.
00:06:55.000 Like, do you tell me you don't have those thoughts?
00:06:57.000 Or you just don't want to explore those thoughts on stage?
00:06:59.000 That's okay.
00:07:00.000 You don't have to explore those thoughts on stage.
00:07:03.000 But to pretend that somehow or another there's something wrong with somebody else exploring those thoughts on stage, whatever the fuck they are, that they can't be handled in a clever and hilarious way, everything can be. 0.82
00:07:13.000 Well, they were looking at it like, there's a difference between just being, because you can be hacky and clean, too. 0.99
00:07:17.000 Like, hacky dirty guys suck just as much as hacky clean guys do. 0.97
00:07:20.000 I mean, it's just, you know, guys doing the, I don't find anything to be shocking, but you always know when a guy's up there trying to be shocking. 0.99
00:07:26.000 Yeah.
00:07:26.000 But sometimes someone just has an idea of what it's gonna be.
00:07:31.000 Like, if you hear, oh, it's dirty comedy, like, ah, it's fucking stupid. 0.99
00:07:34.000 But then you'll see someone who's dirty and, like, really clever, and you'll go, wow, I didn't even think of that option. 0.99
00:07:41.000 Right, Stan Hope or Otto when he was alive.
00:07:44.000 Yes, perfect example.
00:07:45.000 There's some really filthy, funny guys.
00:07:47.000 And every truly funny guy that all these people, whether it was Bill Hicks, who could be dirty when he cursed at least, or Pryor or Kinison or Carlin or Lenny Bruce, they were all filthy, and yet all these guys are like, well, dirty comedy. 0.81
00:07:58.000 When you mention them, instead of just going, oh yeah, I'm an ass and I'm wrong, they go, well, you're not him. 0.83
00:08:02.000 Yes, that's exactly what they say. 0.96
00:08:04.000 Yeah, they have to say that because they can't admit they're wrong.
00:08:06.000 I said that to a guy at an open mic night.
00:08:08.000 When I was an open miker, this guy was telling me you can't swear.
00:08:11.000 He was telling me, you know, you've got to stop swearing because you're never going to do TV. You're never going to do TV gigs.
00:08:15.000 If you swear, you're not going to get The Tonight Show.
00:08:18.000 You're not going to get Letterman.
00:08:20.000 You're going to be stuck.
00:08:21.000 You're going to be pigeonholed.
00:08:22.000 Like, you're just going to be one of those guys that's bitter, doing the road, swearing.
00:08:25.000 And I was like, well, what about Kinison?
00:08:27.000 He's like, well, you're not Sam Kinison.
00:08:28.000 I go, well, how did he become Sam Kinison?
00:08:30.000 Right.
00:08:31.000 What about Dice Clay?
00:08:31.000 You're not Dice Clay.
00:08:32.000 Well, this is stupid, because those are the guys I think are really funny. 0.99
00:08:35.000 Right. 0.99
00:08:35.000 What about Pryor? 0.99
00:08:37.000 What if he had listened to you and went totally clean? 0.97
00:08:39.000 Like, this is ridiculous! 0.94
00:08:41.000 Like, what do you like? 0.99
00:08:42.000 What do you like?
00:08:43.000 Well, because I like Kinison, and Pryor, and Hicks, and Carlin.
00:08:48.000 Like, those are what I think are funny, and you're telling me that I can't be like them?
00:08:52.000 I can't do that style? 0.96
00:08:53.000 Like, that's ridiculous. 0.94
00:08:54.000 That's what I think of as comedy. 0.83
00:08:56.000 Like, you and I might have a different idea of what you think of as comedy.
00:08:59.000 For you, it might be Henny Youngman, it might be, you know, whatever, fill in the blank.
00:09:03.000 Fibber McGee and Molly 2. You know, whatever.
00:09:06.000 You know, everybody's got their own style that they're into, but people would be like real adamant in the clean versus dirty camp.
00:09:13.000 I don't think that exists anymore, and I think the internet has sort of like dissolved those boundaries. 0.98
00:09:17.000 Well, as TV has gotten harsher too, it's like, you know, you didn't have, even in 1990, you had cable, but you didn't have channels like FX or all these, HBO wasn't really doing original programming, where you were actually just watching comedy shows that said fucking them all the time, so it was easier for them to do that, but now you just look like a dated douche.
00:09:34.000 If you're like, I don't... 0.97
00:09:35.000 Sometimes I'll work material out, I'll take language out of it, because like, oh yeah, I want to try to do this on TV, so I've got to make sure my Tinder bit is funny, clean, because if I ever want to do it on TV, I don't want the punchline to be cunt lips, and then go, oh no, how do I take that out? 0.69
00:09:48.000 Maybe I can go like, um, can I make a Charlie Callis noise and make it... 0.97
00:09:53.000 That's where you get fucked up, when you have to start editing and cutening it up. 0.90
00:09:56.000 But I've always hated euphemisms anyway. 0.99
00:09:58.000 Like, I hate guys... 1.00
00:10:00.000 There was one guy who was talking about a dick or a pussy, and he would go, hurrah, and he would whistle. 1.00
00:10:04.000 Can you whistle? 1.00
00:10:05.000 Yeah, like, shh, shh, and point down.
00:10:07.000 That was what he referred to.
00:10:09.000 It's like, either say it or don't, but don't whistle.
00:10:11.000 That's not cute.
00:10:12.000 That's not stomach-turning.
00:10:14.000 It's bizarre.
00:10:14.000 It is bizarre.
00:10:15.000 Imagine you're talking to a man, it was just you and him, and he couldn't say pussy. 1.00
00:10:19.000 And he's like, hurrah, whew. 0.99
00:10:21.000 Yeah, unless he was talking about a girl that I might like, then I could see the confusion. 0.99
00:10:25.000 Just really powerful pussies. 0.99
00:10:27.000 You could actually whistle out of it. 1.00
00:10:29.000 Imagine she said just insane pussy muscles just can suck air. 1.00
00:10:34.000 It's probably possible. 1.00
00:10:35.000 If girls can shoot ping pong balls and stuff, like Stan Hope has that joke, or that bit rather, about when he was in Thailand and he went to some crazy lady who shoots bananas out of her pussy. 1.00
00:10:44.000 She's like, would put the banana in and then chop it up, spitting it out one piece at a time. 1.00
00:10:50.000 Wow.
00:10:50.000 How about them apples?
00:10:51.000 Huh?
00:10:52.000 How about that clampdown?
00:10:53.000 It's pretty impressive.
00:10:55.000 It might not be totally true.
00:10:56.000 Who knows?
00:10:57.000 Doug may have embellished a bit.
00:11:00.000 They might have played a scam on him, too.
00:11:02.000 They might have sliced it up in advance. 1.00
00:11:04.000 Either way, anybody shooting anything out of their vagina is pretty goddamn impressive. 1.00
00:11:07.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:11:07.000 It can be done. 0.99
00:11:08.000 It should fall out of a vagina. 1.00
00:11:10.000 Basically, you should stand up and it should just fall out on the floor. 1.00
00:11:12.000 That's the way a pussy should work. 1.00
00:11:14.000 So if you're doing anything above that, you're impressive with your pussy. 1.00
00:11:17.000 I was reading this article that this woman wrote, and I really wish I remember who she was. 1.00
00:11:22.000 But she was arguing that size doesn't matter because if a chick isn't lazy, she can work on her pussy muscles to the point where she could enjoy any dick. 1.00
00:11:30.000 I don't know if that's true or not, but she was kind of like... 1.00
00:11:34.000 I'll tell you what she was doing. 0.98
00:11:35.000 She was loose vagina shaming. 1.00
00:11:38.000 Right. 0.99
00:11:38.000 That's what she was doing. 0.99
00:11:39.000 She was shaming all these girls for not having the effort to also, while sending a signal out, telling guys she's got a tight pussy. 1.00
00:11:48.000 Or she was also telling that guy she's been dating whose cock is small and she knows it's small. 1.00
00:11:53.000 She was trying to make him feel better, so she's built her whole philosophy around, I'm not an idiot dating a guy with a little dick. 1.00
00:12:00.000 Right. 1.00
00:12:00.000 I'm not lazy, so I can enjoy him too. 1.00
00:12:02.000 Right. 1.00
00:12:03.000 Plus, it's easier to suck, and he's probably really good at eating pussy. 1.00
00:12:08.000 Oh my God, yeah. 1.00
00:12:09.000 Someone just told me, some girl just told me a story yesterday, we had dinner, about a guy with a tiny, like a microcock, and she opened her fingers about three inches wide.
00:12:16.000 I'm like, was it that long?
00:12:17.000 And she goes, yeah.
00:12:18.000 And I'm like, how was it? 0.98
00:12:19.000 And she's like, oh, it was fucking awful. 0.91
00:12:21.000 I couldn't feel it. 0.97
00:12:22.000 And I love the honesty.
00:12:23.000 I hate when women go, oh, it didn't matter. 1.00
00:12:24.000 Of course it matters.
00:12:25.000 Of course it matters.
00:12:26.000 Of course it matters.
00:12:26.000 Of course it matters.
00:12:27.000 Yeah, this woman was talking about that, too.
00:12:29.000 Here's where size matters is that women want to feel stuffed. 1.00
00:12:32.000 You want to feel stretched out. 1.00
00:12:34.000 She's like, but you can achieve that feeling by tightening your pussy muscles. 1.00
00:12:37.000 But I think you might have a point there. 0.99
00:12:38.000 Maybe it's a combination of all those things.
00:12:41.000 Maybe there is no right answer. 1.00
00:12:42.000 Maybe, you know, her pussy is okay and her boyfriend's dick is okay. 1.00
00:12:45.000 It's just a combination of all of these things. 1.00
00:12:48.000 And maybe she really is loose vagina shaming. 1.00
00:12:51.000 That's a possibility, too. 1.00
00:12:52.000 She might let all these bitches know, my pussy's Down. 1.00
00:12:55.000 Squeezy. 1.00
00:12:56.000 It's all squeezy.
00:12:57.000 It's a squeezy box. 1.00
00:12:58.000 I don't like a pussy that's too snug. 1.00
00:13:00.000 I like a bit of a sloppy... 1.00
00:13:01.000 Do you? 0.99
00:13:02.000 Yeah, not loose, but a bit of a fucking horror show. 0.99
00:13:08.000 It makes me happy. 0.99
00:13:09.000 You like extra lip and some extra meat flopping around.
00:13:12.000 It drives me crazy.
00:13:13.000 You like that, huh?
00:13:13.000 I'm trying not to...
00:13:14.000 You know, it's funny, man. 1.00
00:13:15.000 I talk so much about my sexual shit. 0.99
00:13:17.000 I'm trying now to be a good boy again. 1.00
00:13:19.000 Like, I'm only four days in to, like, no...
00:13:22.000 I'm trying not to do porn.
00:13:24.000 I'm trying not to dirty intrigue texts.
00:13:26.000 It's very... 0.98
00:13:27.000 I'm blocking so much shit by doing that. 0.96
00:13:30.000 It's almost like I feel connected to nobody. 0.97
00:13:33.000 I'm always disconnected.
00:13:34.000 I don't ever feel like I'm with another person for real.
00:13:37.000 I always feel like I'm just looking at them through a window.
00:13:40.000 So I kind of want to connect and I know I'm blocking myself. 0.92
00:13:43.000 I know that by living this way, this constant fucking obsession and this constant thing for money is blocking me from really living with people. 0.74
00:13:54.000 That's fascinating. 0.98
00:13:55.000 So, the constant looking for prostitutes and the prostitute relationship blocks you from having honest relationships with people.
00:14:03.000 Yeah, because I came into...
00:14:04.000 This is the first time I've ever traveled without a computer.
00:14:07.000 Like, I have two computers now.
00:14:08.000 I got a newer Mac laptop, and I said, this would be my good boy computer.
00:14:12.000 I literally have nothing in there that I'm ashamed of.
00:14:15.000 You could open my work computer... 0.99
00:14:17.000 And there's not one dirty fucking photo on it. 0.99
00:14:20.000 There's nothing. 0.99
00:14:21.000 That's beautiful.
00:14:21.000 It's just work.
00:14:22.000 You're a good boy.
00:14:23.000 I'm trying.
00:14:24.000 And the other one, well, you know. 1.00
00:14:26.000 It's a fucking horror show. 1.00
00:14:27.000 Yeah, exactly. 1.00
00:14:27.000 It's like the West Shore Expressway. 1.00
00:14:29.000 So what you do is put tape around it. 0.99
00:14:32.000 And if you break the seal, then you know you're fucked up. 0.99
00:14:37.000 You gotta seal it up. 0.99
00:14:38.000 You gotta seal it up like a vault.
00:14:40.000 Yeah.
00:14:40.000 And have it be a symbol of your sobriety.
00:14:43.000 Well, I got too much stuff on it that I need.
00:14:44.000 There's too many real photos on it.
00:14:46.000 I gotta clear it off eventually.
00:14:47.000 But if you start looking, you start beating off.
00:14:49.000 Dude, that's the problem. 0.65
00:14:50.000 And I can't delete all my shit, so I actually have an external hard drive that is coded. 0.96
00:14:57.000 It's a passcode, and I have it in a bank vault. 0.98
00:14:59.000 Because I'm not ready to throw it all out yet, but eventually I will.
00:15:02.000 That's hilarious.
00:15:03.000 You brought it to a bank?
00:15:05.000 Yeah, I have a bank wall.
00:15:06.000 I have papers in there and stuff.
00:15:08.000 So my phone has got a few dirty things on it, but I'm going to get rid of them.
00:15:13.000 I want to know what's going to happen.
00:15:15.000 I haven't been like that my whole life.
00:15:18.000 It's almost like there's times where I feel like just put it down.
00:15:22.000 You feel like you're buzzing. 0.97
00:15:24.000 Normally I get off the plane from LA and the first thing I'm doing is texting dirty and I'm trying to go to the hotel and fucking look for all this shit and go to Eros and go to this one and set something up. 0.61
00:15:34.000 So I have no connection with my manager or my friends out here. 0.91
00:15:37.000 There's no real communication because all I'm thinking about is what I'm going to do after and I've got to end this fast so I can go there. 0.88
00:15:43.000 It's like a fucking drug and it's like now I just want to stop I'll tell you why. 0.69
00:15:47.000 I did a scene recently. 0.99
00:15:48.000 I had a scene in a show called The Nick.
00:15:51.000 It was a scene with Clive Owen.
00:15:52.000 It was a very brief scene.
00:15:53.000 And I think I did okay in it.
00:15:57.000 But it was only like five lines.
00:15:59.000 I was ready.
00:15:59.000 I was prepared.
00:16:00.000 I knew my lines.
00:16:01.000 I showed up on time.
00:16:02.000 And I felt good about it, but I didn't feel great.
00:16:05.000 And I didn't feel 100% connected during the scene.
00:16:08.000 And I'm like, what am I so disconnected from?
00:16:12.000 I'm not fucking scared to act with this guy. 0.98
00:16:17.000 I can stand in front of people and fucking do what I do. 0.98
00:16:19.000 There's no reason I can't do a few lines with this person and feel connected. 0.98
00:16:22.000 It wasn't like that kind of an intimidation.
00:16:24.000 It was just like I realized like even in my most comfortable, when I'm prepared, I'm disconnected.
00:16:30.000 The guy named Dove David told me that years ago.
00:16:32.000 He goes, you'd be a really good actor.
00:16:33.000 He goes, but whatever is blocking you.
00:16:35.000 He goes, you got something.
00:16:36.000 All you got to do is get rid of what's blocking.
00:16:37.000 And I've thought about that for years.
00:16:39.000 You know what I mean? 1.00
00:16:39.000 Every time I see stupid Dove, I want to tell him. 1.00
00:16:41.000 I still think about that. 1.00
00:16:43.000 Stupid dog. 1.00
00:16:44.000 But you know what I mean? 1.00
00:16:45.000 It's like I see him all the time.
00:16:46.000 Right. 0.98
00:16:46.000 But it's like that fucking, that thing blocking you, where you feel like I'm just not, there's nothing I'm gonna do that makes me feel like I'm a part of this group. 0.98
00:16:54.000 Well, you should probably add something to your life. 0.98
00:16:57.000 Yeah.
00:16:58.000 What you should do is probably add, like, a new thing to be obsessed with.
00:17:01.000 You know, like, take up a hobby.
00:17:04.000 Start doing something that, like, not something that doesn't sort of have a real end goal, but something that you enjoy participating in.
00:17:13.000 Like, some sort of a...
00:17:14.000 Just to do it.
00:17:15.000 Yeah.
00:17:15.000 Like, you know, for some people it's working out, but working out seems like kind of like...
00:17:19.000 If you do it for that reason, just like, this is my new addiction, working out.
00:17:24.000 It seems like you're...
00:17:26.000 Unless you, like, really wholeheartedly dive into it, it seems like you're gonna get bored with just, like, lifting weights and running at the gym, unless that's your thing.
00:17:34.000 You know, I think that's kind of gotta be done for the benefits of the exercise, if you're really gonna get psycho about that.
00:17:41.000 But maybe a sport or a hobby or something, or, I mean, something...
00:17:46.000 Like a game or even a martial art or something.
00:17:49.000 Something where you're practicing something that you enjoy.
00:17:52.000 I want to read more.
00:17:53.000 You know, like Bill Burr.
00:17:54.000 We had Bill Burr in recently and he's flying helicopters now.
00:17:57.000 And I'm like, this is what your friends are doing.
00:17:59.000 Yeah.
00:18:00.000 Like, as a healthy guy.
00:18:01.000 Bill got married. 1.00
00:18:03.000 I mean, Bill was never a hunk of shit sexually that I know of. 1.00
00:18:05.000 But, you know, here's a guy with a... 1.00
00:18:07.000 A hunk of shit. 1.00
00:18:07.000 But, you know what I mean? 1.00
00:18:08.000 He was always like a pretty straight and narrow guy.
00:18:10.000 And he marries a nice girl and he has a...
00:18:12.000 And I'm like...
00:18:13.000 Why do you have no thing in your life like that?
00:18:16.000 Like a hobby.
00:18:17.000 Just a normal thing.
00:18:18.000 Like, hey, guy wants to fly.
00:18:19.000 I got nothing but time.
00:18:20.000 Right.
00:18:21.000 I'm done with the radio at 10 in the morning, and I want to read more.
00:18:25.000 I literally can't read anymore.
00:18:27.000 I'm so wired up, and I literally have my phone right here.
00:18:30.000 It's constant.
00:18:31.000 So I started reading a little bit more.
00:18:34.000 I'm trying just to shut my brain down.
00:18:35.000 Why don't you go to a flip phone?
00:18:36.000 That's what Ari did. 1.00
00:18:37.000 I saw Ari there, but there's too many legit things I do with it.
00:18:42.000 I send a lot of real texts, and I do like Twitter, and I do like being able to check my email and play chess, and all these things that are not deviant or piggish.
00:18:51.000 A flip phone would annoy me more than it would help me, I think.
00:18:53.000 You need a Jesus app.
00:18:54.000 What's that?
00:18:55.000 A Jesus app.
00:18:56.000 You need something that overwhelms your phone and only lets you use the apps that are wholesome.
00:19:00.000 And in order to use that Jesus app, you probably have to unblock it.
00:19:06.000 You probably have to put all your fingerprints in or something.
00:19:07.000 Ari's upgraded a little bit.
00:19:09.000 Ari's upgraded his phone? 1.00
00:19:10.000 He's on some Samsung Alias 2 bullshit that's still an old fucking iPhone wannabe piece of shit flip phone. 1.00
00:19:16.000 But... 0.99
00:19:16.000 He texted me, asked me if he could get a pocket camera, and I said, yeah, get an iPhone. 0.99
00:19:21.000 And he's got this, he's like, no, I've got this new Samsung Alias deal. 0.86
00:19:25.000 It's almost a shitty iPhone. 0.51
00:19:26.000 He's going back. 0.98
00:19:27.000 He will go back.
00:19:28.000 It's too hard not to in this day and age.
00:19:30.000 You just got to manage it.
00:19:31.000 You can't ignore the new technology.
00:19:33.000 It's like ignoring a car because you drive too much.
00:19:35.000 You just got to balance it. 0.98
00:19:37.000 So does his new shitty phone have apps? 1.00
00:19:40.000 Show me this new shitty phone. 0.99
00:19:42.000 This is it? 0.99
00:19:43.000 So he got something with a keypad?
00:19:45.000 Yeah, but it's got little programs on it.
00:19:46.000 Let me see.
00:19:47.000 Like what apps?
00:19:48.000 What are we talking about here?
00:19:51.000 This is a flip phone?
00:19:52.000 Yeah, it looks like that.
00:19:54.000 How does it...
00:19:54.000 Oh, wow.
00:19:57.000 Oh, how weird.
00:19:58.000 Is it touchscreen or all arrow on the...
00:20:00.000 Oh, so it goes up and back?
00:20:02.000 It goes both ways?
00:20:03.000 How weird.
00:20:04.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:20:05.000 I remember this piece of shit. 1.00
00:20:07.000 This came out like many... 1.00
00:20:08.000 I might have had one of these fucking things. 1.00
00:20:11.000 I might have. 0.99
00:20:12.000 I wonder if that was still in the stylus era.
00:20:14.000 What's wrong with him?
00:20:15.000 The stylus on the Note 4, have you ever tried that?
00:20:18.000 The Samsung Note 4?
00:20:19.000 Oh my god, the Galaxy Note 4. It's fucking amazing. 0.98
00:20:22.000 Is it better than the iPhone 6? 0.99
00:20:24.000 No.
00:20:24.000 No, the iPhone 6 is a better phone.
00:20:27.000 It's just better construction, the apps work better, the camera's better.
00:20:31.000 But the stylus on the Note 4 is pretty slick.
00:20:35.000 You could circle things and it has options.
00:20:38.000 You could copy pictures, send them to your folder.
00:20:42.000 You could save them with the stylus.
00:20:45.000 Say if you're online and you're looking at something, you could just scroll it with the stylus and the stylus will take that photo.
00:20:51.000 Oh, okay.
00:20:52.000 And then you could also, like, write notes on pictures and send them to people. 1.00
00:20:55.000 Like, this is you, stupid. 1.00
00:20:57.000 You could draw a dick and cum coming out of it and put it on someone's picture and just send it to them within seconds. 1.00
00:21:02.000 You could write, like... 0.99
00:21:03.000 I used to write all my stand-up notes by hand.
00:21:07.000 And they even save to Evernote by hand.
00:21:10.000 It's kind of slick.
00:21:11.000 So, like, when I go into my notes...
00:21:13.000 I have certain notes in here that are all done from the Galaxy Note 4. So they're all done by hand.
00:21:22.000 Oh, okay.
00:21:23.000 So it's like my handwriting.
00:21:25.000 It's not just...
00:21:26.000 But it's my handwriting on a little computer.
00:21:29.000 Don't you like...
00:21:30.000 I have a note thing, too.
00:21:31.000 I talk my notes into it.
00:21:32.000 I talk my notes.
00:21:33.000 I like just talking a joke idea into it.
00:21:35.000 Half the time, it misspells it, but it's so much easier, and I find I do so many more ideas that way.
00:21:41.000 I prepare so much more for interviews when I'm just reading a book and spitting notes, and I just email them to myself and print them.
00:21:47.000 Yeah, I know what you mean.
00:21:48.000 The software now is so good at picking up your words.
00:21:53.000 It's incredible. 0.93
00:21:54.000 Whenever I sign something Jim, my dumb phone writes Jen Norton. 1.00
00:21:57.000 Sometimes your phone is just a cunt. 1.00
00:21:59.000 It's like, how stupid are you? 1.00
00:22:00.000 How many times have I said this? 1.00
00:22:01.000 You don't know that Jim is J-I-M. I have a Lexus that has a navigation feature that you're supposed to, you know, take me to 118 Hollywood Boulevard.
00:22:12.000 It's fucking never right! 0.97
00:22:14.000 No. 0.97
00:22:14.000 I mean, never! 0.97
00:22:15.000 I mean, it's so bad!
00:22:17.000 I mean, I try to talk very clearly so that it understands me, and it never gets it right.
00:22:24.000 I have to do it three, four times, and usually I wind up pulling over. 0.99
00:22:27.000 It's one of those ones that won't let you enter it in, because it thinks you're a fucking baby. 0.96
00:22:32.000 You can't do it while you're driving, so you have to pull over, stop your car, and then you can enter an address. 0.98
00:22:36.000 Or you could use the voice feature. 0.99
00:22:38.000 The voice feature sucks a thousand dicks. 1.00
00:22:41.000 It's really bad. 1.00
00:22:43.000 Yeah, that's the word.
00:22:44.000 It brings out such a rage.
00:22:45.000 Like, how do you not have this figured out?
00:22:47.000 But the voice feature on your phone, which is Bluetoothed into your car anyway, is amazing.
00:22:54.000 The Siri, like, Siri, take me to Mann's Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard.
00:22:59.000 Mann's Chinese Theater.
00:23:00.000 Would you like directions?
00:23:01.000 Yes.
00:23:02.000 Boom.
00:23:03.000 You're on your way.
00:23:04.000 I mean, it's really that good.
00:23:05.000 I'll tell you what's frustrating about Siri, though, is when you're talking into it, you need a Wi-Fi connection or whatever, or a good connection.
00:23:11.000 When you do a whole thing, you know, and I feel like, you know, I just don't know what I want to do with my life. 0.98
00:23:16.000 I fire out a whole fucking chapter, and I look, and that fucking cocksucker circle is still spinning, and I realize nothing has been said. 1.00
00:23:22.000 Like, it's just waiting to find somewhere to grab the information from. 0.99
00:23:26.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:23:26.000 So there's times where you've got to just talk.
00:23:28.000 I finally realized you can say comma.
00:23:30.000 Like when I'm writing, you can go comma, period.
00:23:32.000 So I always have to keep stopping it and doing it.
00:23:34.000 Yeah, exclamation point.
00:23:36.000 Yeah.
00:23:37.000 Well, it's really good for that notepad feature.
00:23:39.000 What is it called?
00:23:40.000 The one that's native to the iPhone?
00:23:42.000 I don't know, just notes.
00:23:44.000 I have another one that I used.
00:23:45.000 Well, you know what?
00:23:46.000 There's benefits to both platforms, I think, Android and iPhone.
00:23:52.000 And I like both of them.
00:23:53.000 What I like about Android is that it's open, and that pretty much anybody can create apps for them, and there's just so much more variety. 0.97
00:24:02.000 There's a lot of goddamn people who use it.
00:24:04.000 What you don't like about iPhone is that it's difficult to get your app approved for the App Store, but that's also why so many of these things work so well. 0.98
00:24:12.000 I think in some way it stifles innovation in a small way.
00:24:16.000 You're tethered to the Apple, maybe, but they have such a pursuit of excellence.
00:24:23.000 So I can totally see it from their point of view.
00:24:25.000 And ultimately, the end product is better.
00:24:28.000 Right.
00:24:28.000 But I use two phones.
00:24:29.000 I use this phone for my home stuff, my personal stuff, and then I use a Samsung Galaxy S5, which is waterproof.
00:24:38.000 I like it a lot, man.
00:24:40.000 I have one of those.
00:24:41.000 I never fell in love with it.
00:24:42.000 I like it a lot.
00:24:44.000 There's a lot of good features to it.
00:24:45.000 I think the size is about the right size because this is like five and a half inches.
00:24:49.000 The other one's five inches.
00:24:50.000 I think five inches is the right size.
00:24:51.000 Yeah, they have another newer version that's probably the same as the iPhone 6 Plus.
00:24:55.000 Yeah, the 6, the Galaxy S6. It's just coming out, I think, like in a week or so.
00:24:59.000 Oh, I don't know, they gave us a bunch of, they give us phones at Galaxy, and they're not bad phones, but for me, I'm just, this is, I think there's only one you can just go, that's my phone.
00:25:07.000 Like, you know what I mean? 0.99
00:25:08.000 I try both platforms, and it's like, ah, fuck it. 0.99
00:25:10.000 But meanwhile, if we had an, if you had an Android, and that was the only option when they first came out, like, when the iPhone came out, you'd be like, oh my god, this is fucking amazing! 0.99
00:25:18.000 Yeah.
00:25:19.000 We're just so used to how good the iPhones are now that it makes it difficult for almost everybody else.
00:25:23.000 But even the old iPhones look shitty.
00:25:25.000 I see somebody with a small iPhone, I'm like, where are you from, 1930? 1.00
00:25:28.000 Get a new fucking phone! 1.00
00:25:29.000 Especially the one. 1.00
00:25:30.000 You see that hunk of shit. 1.00
00:25:32.000 Look at this stupid aluminum looking fucking sack of shit. 1.00
00:25:36.000 No flash in the camera. 1.00
00:25:37.000 Dog shit. 1.00
00:25:38.000 Yeah, Steve Jobs really bugged me. 1.00
00:25:39.000 That was on purpose.
00:25:40.000 No flash. 1.00
00:25:42.000 Fucking ass. 1.00
00:25:43.000 But they made a dope phone. 1.00
00:25:45.000 I mean, they changed the whole game.
00:25:46.000 That was only like 2007. It's hard to believe.
00:25:49.000 I know.
00:25:50.000 That pre-2007 we all existed without smartphones.
00:25:53.000 You think of stuff that you ever watched.
00:25:55.000 I watched a movie from the 80s and I started thinking...
00:25:58.000 A lot of people have died in 1989. That person never made a cell phone call.
00:26:03.000 They missed so much by dying in 1989 or 1990. You watch a movie and it just seems so primitive.
00:26:11.000 How did everybody stay in touch without a phone?
00:26:13.000 Wherever you are, you think it can never get more advanced than this.
00:26:18.000 Five years from now, you're like, what a douche I was.
00:26:20.000 I was out in the wilderness by myself.
00:26:22.000 Yeah.
00:26:23.000 You remember calling people on the phone and being psyched when they were home?
00:26:26.000 Yeah.
00:26:27.000 When they weren't home, you just kept calling?
00:26:29.000 Yeah, ring, ring, ring, or machine?
00:26:31.000 Yeah.
00:26:32.000 Do you remember Party Line?
00:26:32.000 We had a Party Line.
00:26:33.000 Did you ever have one of those?
00:26:34.000 No, what's that?
00:26:35.000 In Edison, New Jersey, when I lived there, I was a kid, and you would get a call.
00:26:38.000 It was either for us or the upstairs people.
00:26:40.000 And I think it rang different for the Nortons or for the people upstairs.
00:26:43.000 So if you were quiet, you could just pick it up and listen in.
00:26:47.000 And then you could listen to someone's conversation from upstairs, and sometimes they'd go, I'm on the phone!
00:26:52.000 And you'd have to go, oh, okay.
00:26:54.000 But different families, they shared a line.
00:26:57.000 Wow.
00:26:58.000 Yeah, I think it was called a, I don't know if it was a party line, I believe it was called a party line, but it was.
00:27:03.000 Nothing to do with like 900 numbers.
00:27:05.000 And did that just make it like less expensive or is this the only option?
00:27:08.000 Probably.
00:27:09.000 I think again, this is in the late 70s when I was, you know, 10, 11, 9 years old.
00:27:13.000 Wow.
00:27:14.000 That's crazy.
00:27:15.000 Yeah.
00:27:15.000 I don't remember that at all.
00:27:17.000 I don't know if I experienced that.
00:27:18.000 That might have been on the East Coast.
00:27:20.000 I was on the West Coast back then.
00:27:22.000 I was on the West Coast from my age 7 to 10. Where?
00:27:28.000 I was living in San Francisco.
00:27:30.000 Oh, okay.
00:27:30.000 I guess 7 to 11. At 11 to 13, yeah.
00:27:33.000 7 to 11 in San Francisco, 11 to 13 in Florida, and then Boston.
00:27:40.000 Yeah, so they didn't have the party lines back then.
00:27:42.000 I don't know if they had or if it was just for poorer people.
00:27:44.000 We weren't poor, but we didn't have a lot of money.
00:27:46.000 I mean, my dad think we had to work at that point, or he was in and out of work from trucking, so maybe that was probably just a money-saving thing.
00:27:53.000 We were pretty poor back then.
00:27:54.000 We were on welfare.
00:27:55.000 We drank powdered milk, the whole deal.
00:27:57.000 I don't know if I've ever had powdered milk. 0.92
00:27:58.000 It sucks, right? 0.76
00:27:59.000 It's not good. 0.99
00:27:59.000 No. 0.99
00:28:00.000 Yeah.
00:28:00.000 It's also, like, very nerve-wracking when you're a kid and you know that it's down to powdered milk, you know?
00:28:06.000 And you know that, like, times really are tough.
00:28:09.000 It's just, it's a creepy feeling.
00:28:11.000 You're like, whoa, are we gonna run out of food?
00:28:13.000 You know, like, people would freak out if you ate too much.
00:28:15.000 It's like, you know, being poor is very stressful to everybody.
00:28:19.000 Like, and in comparison to the rest of the world, you're rich.
00:28:23.000 Right.
00:28:24.000 We talked about this before on the show we have not you but the 1% everybody uses that that term the 1% top 1% of ruining everything to be 1% Globally the top 1% globally all you need to make is $34,000 a year Wow I didn't know that. 0.86
00:28:41.000 Yeah.
00:28:43.000 That's, I mean, I wouldn't say if you made $34,000 a year you're poor, but it's not rich.
00:28:50.000 It's certainly, you're in trouble if you have a family. 0.98
00:28:52.000 If you're making $34,000 a year and you have children to feed, that's a fucking, that's not a lot of money. 0.97
00:28:58.000 I guess it all depends on where you live, too. 0.81
00:28:59.000 Even if you're single in New York, or, you know, you make a $34,000 a year, it's very hard to find a comfortable living space in New York and have a good life there if you're only making $34,000 a year.
00:29:07.000 It's almost impossible.
00:29:08.000 I think so.
00:29:09.000 It's almost impossible just for your rent.
00:29:11.000 Your rent might be $34,000 a year.
00:29:13.000 Jesus Christ, $34,000 a year is only, what is that, a little bit more than $2,000 a month?
00:29:17.000 Yeah.
00:29:17.000 Good luck!
00:29:18.000 Good fucking luck finding an apartment in New York for $2,000 a month. 1.00
00:29:22.000 Good fucking luck! 0.99
00:29:24.000 Did you ever see where I lived before I came? 0.99
00:29:25.000 We did a Cribs on Open Anthony in like 2001 when I lived in Florentine. 0.99
00:29:29.000 And there was fucking black mold. 0.96
00:29:30.000 We split a $900 rent between me, him, and his girlfriend at the time. 0.99
00:29:34.000 And when you walk in, there's video of it.
00:29:37.000 They did like a Jim Norton Cribs.
00:29:39.000 And the old producer, Rick and Steve, came to my apartment.
00:29:42.000 And I thought it was a great place. 0.99
00:29:43.000 I had no idea what a fucking cesspool I lived in. 0.99
00:29:48.000 And when you look, there was a picture on the wall of when you moved it, black mold. 0.99
00:29:54.000 I don't know if you can bring that up.
00:29:55.000 It's a video.
00:29:55.000 You don't want the volume, but you can see it for...
00:29:57.000 That's my old place. 0.99
00:29:59.000 There's fucking... 0.99
00:30:00.000 You can zip in a little bit. 0.99
00:30:01.000 As we're walking up these steps here, this was Cliffside Park, New Jersey.
00:30:05.000 Where'd you guys live?
00:30:06.000 This was Cliffside Park, New Jersey, upstairs, about six miles from New York.
00:30:09.000 You could see the river from the end of the block.
00:30:11.000 Cliffside Park.
00:30:11.000 That's all black mold on the wall.
00:30:13.000 And up in the corners.
00:30:15.000 Oh my god. 1.00
00:30:16.000 That shit's really bad for you. 1.00
00:30:17.000 I wonder if that contributed to my breathing problems, because I'm such a bad sleeper. 1.00
00:30:21.000 I guarantee you it did. 0.99
00:30:22.000 But look at it leaking from fucking down... 0.99
00:30:25.000 From that picture? 0.99
00:30:27.000 Behind the picture, yeah.
00:30:27.000 We do move the picture, and I hope it's right now.
00:30:30.000 Yeah, I think we do move it.
00:30:32.000 It doesn't...
00:30:33.000 It's not good.
00:30:36.000 Brace yourself, it says. 0.98
00:30:37.000 Yeah, they put that fucking 2000 graphic. 0.99
00:30:41.000 Oh my god. 1.00
00:30:42.000 That's all black mold?
00:30:44.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:30:44.000 Holy shit, Jim. 1.00
00:30:45.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:30:46.000 That's really bad for you, man.
00:30:48.000 That's insane.
00:30:49.000 Why is it behind that picture like that?
00:30:50.000 I think we had a very leaky living room.
00:30:53.000 When you looked, that was my room.
00:30:55.000 That was Florentine's office.
00:30:56.000 When you looked, I had a...
00:30:59.000 We had a very leaky living room, which you might see, like, we had rain coming in all the time.
00:31:02.000 We used to put, like, four or five buckets in the living room and it would rain.
00:31:06.000 Oh, my God.
00:31:07.000 And it was, yeah, that was our living room.
00:31:09.000 That was where I lived.
00:31:10.000 Did Florentine suffer the same sort of cardiovascular problems?
00:31:14.000 I don't know.
00:31:15.000 You know, like, he had...
00:31:16.000 Jim had so much black mold in his bedroom.
00:31:19.000 He had...
00:31:19.000 That was the roof.
00:31:20.000 It's almost caving in. 0.96
00:31:22.000 Jim had fucking tinfoil against the whole bottom third of his wall just so the black mold he couldn't see it. 1.00
00:31:28.000 What? 0.99
00:31:29.000 What?
00:31:30.000 You know what I think, too, part of my breathing problems were? 0.99
00:31:33.000 I think part of my breathing problems are the way I fucking sexually edge. 0.97
00:31:36.000 I've thought of that. 1.00
00:31:37.000 All that jerking off, and a lot of times I hold my breath. 0.99
00:31:40.000 I don't even know I'm doing it when I'm jerking off. 1.00
00:31:41.000 And I'm like, your breathing fucked up, man. 0.99
00:31:44.000 I really think that that messed up my biorhythms or whatever. 0.99
00:31:47.000 What?
00:31:48.000 My sleep. 0.99
00:31:49.000 You fucked up your sleep by edging? 0.99
00:31:52.000 It's so much like right before bed. 1.00
00:31:54.000 If I do something dirty and I jerk off, I can't sleep, I'm wired. 0.99
00:31:57.000 I think I fucked myself up. 1.00
00:32:01.000 Oh my god. 0.99
00:32:02.000 Well, I know that that black mold stuff definitely can have an effect on you. 0.99
00:32:05.000 Tom Likas had that in his house and he had to demolish like half of his fucking house. 0.98
00:32:10.000 Did it make it? 1.00
00:32:11.000 He was sick all the time. 0.99
00:32:12.000 He felt like shit all the time. 0.99
00:32:14.000 He like just felt terrible. 0.99
00:32:15.000 His immune system was just fucked and he couldn't figure out what was up and then he did some tests and he found out his house was infected with black mold. 0.95
00:32:23.000 How long did he live like that? 0.99
00:32:24.000 Because I was there for about three years maximum.
00:32:26.000 I don't know.
00:32:26.000 It's a good question.
00:32:27.000 I've been out since 2002. Yeah, I don't know.
00:32:32.000 I don't know how much of a pain in the ass it was or how long it lasted or what, but I know that it was an issue. 0.96
00:32:38.000 I don't know the specifics, but I know that he had to demolish a large portion of his house. 0.98
00:32:43.000 It's a big deal. 0.99
00:32:44.000 They have to cut the windows out, and cut the doors out, and cut the walls out, and then spray everything for this fucking mold shit, and kill all this mold. 1.00
00:32:52.000 And they have to make sure they kill all of it. 1.00
00:32:54.000 It's really bad for you. 1.00
00:32:55.000 Yeah, it's super bad for you.
00:32:56.000 That stuff, like, all over your walls like that?
00:32:59.000 Like, you guys were essentially walking through, like, air that was tainted by that fungus.
00:33:05.000 Can you, can you, like, I have trouble taking deep breath once in a while, like...
00:33:10.000 I can now but then I feel like I get something stops me and I can't like Anthony had a great way who said you Anthony Kumi is such a great way of describing anything and he said yeah you have trouble getting that last click and that's a deep breath for clicks and you had that final full breath yeah but there's times where I can't get to that full click like I get that a lot when I'm laying down and I have to prop myself up on my right elbow and And then I can take a deep breath.
00:33:34.000 So I don't know if things are sitting wrong inside or whatever.
00:33:37.000 Well, you know, you can do breathing exercises.
00:33:39.000 I'm not really an expert in these. 0.99
00:33:42.000 I've fucked with them a little bit. 0.98
00:33:43.000 And I do a version of them when I do the isolation tank sometimes where I'll take a one-minute breath in and then a one-minute breath out. 0.99
00:33:53.000 And so I drag my inward breath for one minute.
00:33:56.000 Oh, wow.
00:33:56.000 And then I drag my outward breath for one minute.
00:33:59.000 And it requires a lot of discipline because you start panicking.
00:34:02.000 You know start panicking especially when you're breathing it out because you got to push out the whole breath You know so if I'm breathing in like I don't want to I don't want to give everybody the boring two-minute version of it, but I literally would go like this I'll like clean my system out and get ready and then I'll I
00:34:41.000 don't know how long that was, but the first in was probably only about 30 seconds, probably about half.
00:34:44.000 Yeah, I started getting, I was panicking.
00:34:46.000 About half of what I do.
00:34:47.000 I was panicking watching.
00:34:48.000 So I do a full minute.
00:34:49.000 Are you really breathing out?
00:34:50.000 Because what happens is I'll take a deep breath, and then like 10 seconds into that, my body goes, you're full, and I'm finished. 0.98
00:34:55.000 I fucking can't stand it. 0.95
00:34:56.000 You just gotta do it slow. 0.98
00:34:57.000 So like if you look at the seven right now on that clock right there, and just start it right there, like, and just give yourself a give yourself a little break, and go.
00:35:13.000 God this is a boring podcast.
00:35:18.000 Yeah, I just stopped because you're right.
00:35:20.000 It's like literally people listening to me breathe, and if they were me, they'd be hoping I stopped.
00:35:24.000 Just try it, folks.
00:35:25.000 Just give it a try.
00:35:26.000 Give it a try.
00:35:27.000 And once you get it down, then the way I do it in an isolation tank is I do a 60 count.
00:35:32.000 A count in my head while I'm breathing in slow. 0.99
00:35:35.000 It's fucking hard. 0.99
00:35:36.000 It's hard to hold your breath for a minute. 0.99
00:35:38.000 It seems like it shouldn't be. 0.59
00:35:40.000 It seems like, well, the guys that have the world records, they hold their breath for like seven minutes or some shit like that.
00:35:44.000 Like David Blaine, didn't he hold his breath for like a...
00:35:47.000 14-minute time period.
00:35:49.000 Did he really?
00:35:49.000 Yeah, he had some world record breath.
00:35:51.000 I think there's like a caveat to that.
00:35:53.000 He might have ingested some oxygen before he did or something like that.
00:35:56.000 17 minutes.
00:35:57.000 17 minutes?
00:35:59.000 Whoa.
00:36:00.000 If you ingest oxygen, that helps.
00:36:02.000 I don't know.
00:36:03.000 Brian Count told me that.
00:36:04.000 Take it with a grain of salt.
00:36:05.000 Is that what he did?
00:36:06.000 I think so, yeah.
00:36:07.000 We were literally just breathing on the radio.
00:36:08.000 It's funny.
00:36:09.000 We were just taking deep breaths.
00:36:10.000 It was terrible.
00:36:10.000 Well, luckily it wasn't the radio.
00:36:12.000 Yeah, it was on broadcast. 1.00
00:36:13.000 Our boss would go, what the fuck is wrong with you, Tim? 0.99
00:36:15.000 Yeah, what was that? 0.99
00:36:16.000 But it's a good discipline for breath.
00:36:19.000 And there's all sorts of different yoga breathing called pranayama and a bunch of other different names they have for different styles of breathing.
00:36:28.000 But breath exercises are like you can exercise your lungs with like deep breathing exercises where you actually strengthen your lungs.
00:36:37.000 And you can condition your lungs, and you can get used to breathing in a way.
00:36:42.000 They have a type of breathing they call shamanic breathwork, where you can go into psychedelic states, like real drug-induced states, with no drugs.
00:36:52.000 And you can do it all from this, what do they call it, holo-something breathing?
00:36:58.000 Holotropic breathing, is that it?
00:36:59.000 I've never done it, but Aubrey, my friend Aubrey's done it a bunch of times.
00:37:03.000 How long does it take you to get that way?
00:37:05.000 I don't know.
00:37:05.000 It's a good question.
00:37:06.000 But I think if you took a class in it, you know, someone could show you how to do it.
00:37:10.000 My nose is so stuffy. 1.00
00:37:11.000 I can't breathe for shit. 0.98
00:37:13.000 Holotropic breathing is a practice that uses breathing and other elements to putatively, never use that word, allow access to non-ordinary states of consciousness. 0.99
00:37:22.000 It was developed by Stanislav Grof.
00:37:25.000 A successor to his LSD-based psychedelic therapy following the suppression of legal LSD use in the late 1960s.
00:37:33.000 Oh, that's interesting.
00:37:34.000 So he came up with that.
00:37:36.000 Wow! 1.00
00:37:37.000 What a fucking genius that guy is. 1.00
00:37:39.000 I wonder if the fact he did a lot of acid before that helped. 1.00
00:37:42.000 I bet. 1.00
00:37:42.000 He was always one step away from just being out of his fucking mind. 1.00
00:37:46.000 Just takes two deep breaths and he's high again. 1.00
00:37:48.000 He's trying to teach the rest of us how to do it.
00:37:50.000 The acid probably told him how to teach people.
00:37:52.000 Yeah.
00:37:53.000 You know, the acid's like, listen man, we're going to go away for a little bit.
00:37:55.000 It's going to be a while.
00:37:56.000 People are going to still talk about us, but it's going to be a few years.
00:37:59.000 Probably until the 2000s when really people just say, why exactly is this stuff illegal again?
00:38:03.000 But until then, you can do this.
00:38:04.000 I wonder if it's just like a lot of, you know, you stand up too fast after breathing too fast, you can't like, this is how fucking much it's, I don't sleep for shit, I've bitched about my dumb sleep apnea for years, but I literally will go to the gym to work out, and my trainer has me do, like literally sometimes walking up the steps,
00:38:20.000 I'm tired. 0.82
00:38:21.000 Really? 0.99
00:38:22.000 Yeah, it's fucking awful. 0.99
00:38:23.000 No, you still have the sleep apnea issue? 0.99
00:38:25.000 I have so many masks.
00:38:26.000 So many fans have sent me masks because I'm a stuffy nose. 0.99
00:38:29.000 I hate my fucking nose so much, you have no idea. 0.98
00:38:31.000 It's always congested. 1.00
00:38:32.000 You got a deviated septum operation.
00:38:33.000 Oh yeah, I got it fixed.
00:38:35.000 Nothing happened?
00:38:35.000 Didn't help it?
00:38:36.000 It helped it, but now instead of being completely stuffed all the time, it's partially stuffed most of the time. 0.98
00:38:41.000 It's much better because I have allergies, but I can't get used to the masks because I'm claustrophobic, which fucking stinks. 0.98
00:38:45.000 You should probably live in Arizona. 0.98
00:38:47.000 You should force Opie to move to Arizona to do the show. 0.99
00:38:49.000 It's dry air.
00:38:50.000 Yeah.
00:38:51.000 I don't know if that would help, though. 1.00
00:38:52.000 A lot of hookers. 1.00
00:38:53.000 Yeah, I was in there recently in Phoenix. 0.99
00:38:56.000 Did I partake?
00:38:57.000 I don't think I did.
00:38:59.000 No, I was a good boy in Phoenix.
00:39:01.000 You good boy.
00:39:01.000 I was a good boy.
00:39:02.000 No hooking in Phoenix. 0.89
00:39:04.000 I like Phoenix. 1.00
00:39:05.000 It's a fun fucking town. 1.00
00:39:06.000 They're wild ass people. 1.00
00:39:08.000 It's an interesting town that doesn't get enough respect. 0.98
00:39:11.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:39:11.000 I have a good goddamn time there. 0.98
00:39:12.000 I wanted to hang out with Warren Sapp. 1.00
00:39:14.000 What a weekend he had in fucking Phoenix. 0.99
00:39:16.000 Yeah, he had a good weekend. 1.00
00:39:18.000 Would it involve cocaine and prostitution?
00:39:21.000 I don't know.
00:39:22.000 There was two girls. 1.00
00:39:22.000 I feel like there was some prostitution involved. 1.00
00:39:24.000 He was arrested because there was an altercation in his room. 1.00
00:39:27.000 And these girls, I guess he filmed them sucking his dick on his phone and they wanted more money. 1.00
00:39:32.000 But I wish I could have sat down with them and said, Warren, sometimes when a girl is like that and she's freaking out and they want a few extra hundred and they'll leave, you gotta do it. 0.99
00:39:41.000 Because you're paying... 0.63
00:39:43.000 Yeah, it's shitty and it's not part of the deal. 0.94
00:39:45.000 Yeah. 0.97
00:39:46.000 But you are...
00:39:47.000 If they want, I want $10,000, that's different. 1.00
00:39:50.000 Yeah, that's bullshit. 0.99
00:39:51.000 Yeah, it is. 1.00
00:39:52.000 It's bullshit. 1.00
00:39:53.000 It's a bad business practice. 1.00
00:39:54.000 Demand to see her manager.
00:39:56.000 So, maybe I'm confusing his story, and I believe I am, with Mike Tyson's story, because he was arrested in Phoenix, and he had cocaine on him.
00:40:02.000 When?
00:40:02.000 But this was a long time ago.
00:40:03.000 Oh, yeah, no, this was this possible...
00:40:05.000 Yeah.
00:40:05.000 This past year, yeah.
00:40:07.000 Right.
00:40:07.000 And he lost his gig because he shoved the woman or whatever, allegedly.
00:40:10.000 Oh, no.
00:40:12.000 But there was an altercation between them and him.
00:40:14.000 And I've had that where you can feel, because I don't drink, so maybe I have a better sense for it. 0.99
00:40:18.000 Like, if you're drunk, you might be fucking not thinking. 0.99
00:40:20.000 Right. 0.98
00:40:21.000 But you can feel when it's about to go to a weird place.
00:40:24.000 And a lot of times, you've got to back out and be calm.
00:40:27.000 You know what I mean?
00:40:28.000 Like, I had a girl on time, we would just text dirty.
00:40:30.000 Right. 1.00
00:40:30.000 Shit all the time, and she was threatening. 1.00
00:40:32.000 She didn't know who I was as a comedian, so she was threatening to expose me for my dirty fantasies. 0.99
00:40:37.000 And none of them were things that would be that.
00:40:38.000 They were slightly embarrassing, but none of them were horrific.
00:40:41.000 She was threatening to expose you?
00:40:43.000 She wanted money. 0.87
00:40:44.000 What? 0.70
00:40:44.000 And I kind of said to her, I'm like, first of all, everyone I know knows I'm a pervert. 0.70
00:40:49.000 Everyone that hears you on the radio she was on the radio all the people that oh She didn't know yeah like you have no idea the person you're actually talking to right now So I'm like do what you have to do, but you've literally just made a fucking have committed a felony through text You're trying to blackmail me for money a dope show that yes,
00:41:05.000 I'm like, but then she's like well I wouldn't do it but somebody would I'm like whatever it is I'm like you're attempting to blackmail me, but I wasn't even mad at her But I said to her this is the point I said to her look Why don't we both just talk tomorrow when we have clearer heads and we're not...
00:41:19.000 Let's not fight.
00:41:21.000 I said, let's walk away. 1.00
00:41:22.000 I didn't say, you fucking cunt... 1.00
00:41:24.000 Because sometimes you got to... 1.00
00:41:25.000 I love this.
00:41:26.000 Yeah, I was pointing.
00:41:27.000 People on the...
00:41:27.000 But I said, you got to give people an out once in a while.
00:41:31.000 And that's what Warren Sapp in that moment probably didn't do. 1.00
00:41:34.000 He was probably so angry and like, fuck you, bitch, and fuck you. 1.00
00:41:37.000 And then they're arguing. 1.00
00:41:38.000 And instead of realizing, I got a gig and the cops are going to show up, give her the out. 0.98
00:41:43.000 All right, look...
00:41:44.000 I don't want to fight with you.
00:41:45.000 Let's calm down.
00:41:47.000 Here's an extra 300. Let's walk away.
00:41:49.000 Maybe we'll talk tomorrow and do it again.
00:41:51.000 Then she thinks she might have some more money coming in tomorrow.
00:41:53.000 She might actually be amenable to not screaming.
00:41:56.000 So whatever.
00:41:57.000 I've also heard there was trannies that blackmailed rappers that wanted $30,000 in the lobby. 1.00
00:42:01.000 I've heard stories of that.
00:42:02.000 Wow.
00:42:02.000 Wow, $30,000?
00:42:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:42:04.000 I've had a few trannies tell me that.
00:42:05.000 They're like, yeah, you know, there's been rappers or whatever that fucking got blackmailed by girls. 1.00
00:42:09.000 They start freaking out in the lobby, and the guy's like, all right, come back up. 0.96
00:42:12.000 And they want money.
00:42:13.000 Wow.
00:42:14.000 Being a rapper is a lot of pressure, man. 1.00
00:42:15.000 Being a comic, nobody cares what the fuck you do. 1.00
00:42:17.000 Being a rapper has got to be a motherfucker. 1.00
00:42:19.000 Why is there more pressure? 0.99
00:42:20.000 Because they're not meeting image-wise and stuff. 0.99
00:42:23.000 Oh, yeah, and if they're into the weird shit. 0.99
00:42:25.000 Yeah, you can't show weakness. 0.99
00:42:26.000 You can't... 1.00
00:42:28.000 Eminem can self-deprecate, but that whole side of psychology is harder for those guys, because it's seen as weakness, and it's always got to be you and partying with a fat-ass girl in a car, and I came from nothing, and now I'm the shit, and fuck you, and it's like, God damn! 1.00
00:42:41.000 Started from the bottom, now we're here. 1.00
00:42:43.000 Yeah, that's a good one. 0.99
00:42:44.000 That's a catchy fucking tune. 0.99
00:42:45.000 Started from the bottom, now the whole team here. 0.99
00:42:47.000 Oh, boy, is that a good one.
00:42:49.000 Yeah, it's a smart move.
00:42:50.000 Yeah, it's a weird culture.
00:42:52.000 It's a culture of machismo.
00:42:54.000 It's like one of the most macho forms of music ever in a lot of ways, right?
00:42:58.000 More than rock.
00:43:00.000 I mean, they have ballads too, but I would say...
00:43:02.000 But the guys that were doing it was shooting each other.
00:43:03.000 The guys in rock were never known in being a culture where their friends were getting shot.
00:43:07.000 Right.
00:43:07.000 That's a difference.
00:43:08.000 They took it to a totally new place.
00:43:10.000 The rap game, and especially gangsta rap, I mean, they made, like, East Coast, West Coast rivalries involve gunfights.
00:43:17.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:43:18.000 Like, that shit never existed before. 0.99
00:43:20.000 Where was there ever a guy in rock and roll that was, like, openly like Suge Knight? 0.99
00:43:26.000 There really wasn't.
00:43:27.000 Phil Spector was as close as you're coming.
00:43:29.000 He wasn't a gangster. 1.00
00:43:30.000 He was just a fucking kook. 1.00
00:43:31.000 And the Hendrix manager. 1.00
00:43:32.000 Hendrix had a manager that apparently, according to a guy who was once one of their roadies or their security guys, whatever the fuck it was, he just put out a book saying that he thinks that not only did the manager kill Hendrix, but he killed Hendrix's girlfriend, too. 0.95
00:43:46.000 She's dead, I guess. 0.72
00:43:47.000 Yeah, Hendrix's girlfriend was...
00:43:49.000 She fell or was pushed off of a roof in Soho, like, right after Hendrix died.
00:43:55.000 And, you know, the idea was that she committed suicide, or she knew too much and she was killed.
00:44:01.000 I doubt that he...
00:44:02.000 Here's what I would guess, knowing nothing other than what you just said...
00:44:04.000 She allowed Hendrix to die because she was afraid the cops would find the drugs in the room. 0.96
00:44:08.000 So that was why Hendrix died, because he could have been saved if she had just called the ambulance, but she didn't. 1.00
00:44:12.000 So the manager probably said, do you know how much money you cost me, you dumb fuck, and threw her off the roof? 0.99
00:44:17.000 If that's like Fort Apache, when Ayala throws that kid off the roof, it was probably like that. 1.00
00:44:20.000 That could have been the case. 0.67
00:44:22.000 The book was arguing that Hendricks was leaving the manager, and the manager had a stranglehold on Hendricks for a bunch of stupid reasons, and one of them was that he had faked a kidnapping. 0.83
00:44:34.000 He had kidnapped Jimmy and then rescued Jimmy. 0.55
00:44:37.000 He had some people kidnap him and then said, look, I rescued you.
00:44:40.000 You're gonna be fine.
00:44:41.000 I talked to the mob guys and everything's gonna be okay.
00:44:43.000 And this is what this guy who wrote the book Try to find that, Jamie.
00:44:49.000 Try to find...
00:44:49.000 It was really recent, like within the last year or so, this guy wrote this book.
00:44:54.000 And it was really fascinating.
00:44:55.000 I heard him being interviewed or read it.
00:44:57.000 I don't remember which.
00:44:58.000 But it's pretty interesting, the theories that this guy puts forth.
00:45:03.000 Is the manager alive now or dead?
00:45:04.000 I think the manager's dead, too, but the manager was a notorious criminal.
00:45:07.000 Oh, okay.
00:45:08.000 Like, undoubtedly a bad guy.
00:45:11.000 Naughty boy, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:45:12.000 And they believed that he really did have Jimi Hendrix kidnapped, and then stepped in to save him, you know, to let him know, you know, you better have loyalty to me.
00:45:21.000 I'm going to keep you from all these bad guys.
00:45:23.000 I want to kidnap you. 0.71
00:45:25.000 And, you know, that's a crazy tactic to keep an artist in your stable.
00:45:29.000 Yeah, it's fairly brilliant, though.
00:45:30.000 I mean, if you had a Hendrix in your stable, you know, you gotta pull out all stops.
00:45:34.000 Well, I think he realized that.
00:45:35.000 I think he realized...
00:45:36.000 He probably signed him before he really hit, and then once he really hit, he's like, holy Jesus Christ, look what I got on my hands.
00:45:43.000 Only, like, the greatest rock and roll guy ever.
00:45:45.000 Yep.
00:45:45.000 So what this guy was saying, yeah, Booker, the man who saved Jimi Hendrix from the Mafia.
00:45:50.000 Is that it?
00:45:50.000 That's what I'm asking.
00:45:52.000 American Desperado.
00:45:53.000 Mob kidnapping and water skiing mishap.
00:45:57.000 Maybe.
00:45:58.000 I don't...
00:45:59.000 I think that's just part of it.
00:46:01.000 Yeah, just look up Jimi Hendrix manager killed him.
00:46:05.000 Look up that and see if you find...
00:46:07.000 Oh, God. 0.90
00:46:07.000 The sexist, racist history of SNL. I just looked at that headline. 0.90
00:46:11.000 Oh, God.
00:46:11.000 Good God.
00:46:12.000 How about Rolling Stone? 1.00
00:46:14.000 Boy, they shit the bed. 1.00
00:46:15.000 Yeah, they did. 0.99
00:46:16.000 It's amazing how bad it is now. 1.00
00:46:17.000 That's what they get from putting the fucking Boston Bomber on the cover. 1.00
00:46:21.000 That, that was disgusting. 1.00
00:46:23.000 And then this new thing.
00:46:24.000 Well, not just they put him on the cover.
00:46:26.000 They put him on the cover looking cute.
00:46:28.000 A glamour shot! 0.92
00:46:29.000 A glamour shot! 0.92
00:46:30.000 Looking cute.
00:46:31.000 Yeah, in his new book, yeah, Rock Roadie, Wright claims that Jeffrey told him he plied Hendrix with pills and alcohol in order to kill him and claim on the guitar's life insurance.
00:46:43.000 Wow.
00:46:45.000 Wow.
00:46:47.000 Yeah.
00:46:48.000 Who knows, man.
00:46:50.000 I wonder if that hotel room is still there or if that hotel is gone.
00:46:57.000 I know they took down the one where Bobby Kennedy was killed, the ambassador, is gone.
00:47:02.000 Yeah.
00:47:03.000 They just took that down and put a school there or something.
00:47:04.000 I wonder if that hotel still stands.
00:47:06.000 Look at this, but look at what he said.
00:47:08.000 I was in London the night of Jimmy's death.
00:47:10.000 We went around to Monica's hotel room, got a handful of pills and stuffed them in his mouth and poured a few bottles of red wine deep into his windpipe.
00:47:17.000 Well, doesn't that seem there would be like some sign of struggle?
00:47:20.000 Yeah, what was Hendricks doing?
00:47:21.000 Wouldn't there be like cuts on him or something?
00:47:25.000 Manager was allegedly worried that Hendricks was about to sack him.
00:47:28.000 He had recently taken out a life insurance policy of two million dollars.
00:47:31.000 Hmm.
00:47:31.000 If that's true, that's wild.
00:47:33.000 But Jeffrey is the beneficiary.
00:47:34.000 Mm-hmm.
00:47:36.000 We gotta do it.
00:47:36.000 Jimmy was worth much more to him dead than alive.
00:47:38.000 Jeffrey's quoted is telling, right, that son of a bitch is gonna leave me. 1.00
00:47:41.000 If I lost him, I'd lose everything. 1.00
00:47:42.000 Ah, man, I don't know about all that.
00:47:43.000 Yeah, it's all hearsay.
00:47:44.000 Yeah, yeah, who knows?
00:47:46.000 That meant for a book?
00:47:47.000 Yeah, this guy wants to sell a book and he wants to make money.
00:47:49.000 The guy's dead.
00:47:50.000 The guy can't defend himself.
00:47:52.000 Right. 0.99
00:47:52.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.99
00:47:53.000 Meanwhile, we just spread that rumor. 0.99
00:47:54.000 Absolutely.
00:47:54.000 How about that, Jimmy?
00:47:55.000 That's how you do it.
00:47:55.000 But we did say allegedly.
00:47:57.000 Allegedly.
00:47:57.000 I love saying that.
00:47:58.000 It's a good word.
00:47:59.000 It's a good word.
00:47:59.000 Protect you in a lawsuit.
00:48:01.000 Oh boy, you want to throw out that allegedly?
00:48:03.000 Allegedly is always important.
00:48:05.000 It's a nice little buffer.
00:48:07.000 Yeah, I think even with allegedly, I wonder if...
00:48:09.000 By the way, totally off the subject before I forget.
00:48:11.000 Jones against...
00:48:13.000 Oh my god, Anthony Johnson.
00:48:15.000 What do you think?
00:48:16.000 It's a good fight.
00:48:17.000 It's a very good fight.
00:48:18.000 It's all about whether or not Johnson can get a hold of Jones.
00:48:22.000 Because Jones is...
00:48:24.000 Very good at using his reach, better than anybody ever.
00:48:26.000 He's the very best at utilizing reach, and he's also very good at using techniques to keep people at bay.
00:48:34.000 He uses a straight arm all the time, which is not good because he pokes guys in the eye occasionally.
00:48:40.000 So he's got to make sure if he does do that, he puts palm to the forehead, fingers really pulled back, make sure that the fingers aren't an issue.
00:48:47.000 Because it's a legit technique that comes from Muay Thai.
00:48:50.000 In Muay Thai, you'll see a lot of that.
00:48:53.000 They push off and then a leg kick, push off elbow, push off punch, but there's a lot of pushing off.
00:48:59.000 Because they're doing different than boxing where they're utilizing all these other techniques like kicks and elbows and knees and stuff.
00:49:05.000 So pushing off and then pushing into clinching, all that is like a valid part of that style of striking.
00:49:12.000 And it's probably one of the most effective styles of striking. 0.94
00:49:14.000 Johnson's really fucking good at Muay Thai.
00:49:17.000 He's got a really good Dutch kickboxing coach, this guy Henry Hooft, who is the lead trainer of the Black Zillions, which is a Florida-based crew. 0.97
00:49:26.000 That has a lot of high-level strikers come through.
00:49:29.000 Tyrone Spong trains there.
00:49:31.000 Alistair Overeem was training there for a bit.
00:49:33.000 And they have a lot of big-name guys like Nicky Holtzkin, who's a famous Dutch guy who fights in glory.
00:49:41.000 And a bunch of other guys come in through there.
00:49:44.000 This is like Gokhan Saki.
00:49:45.000 Real, real high-level guys.
00:49:47.000 And so they all train in this one spot.
00:49:49.000 So Johnson is getting super high-level training in kickboxing.
00:49:53.000 There was pictures of him sparring with Rico Verhoeven.
00:49:56.000 Rico Verhoeven is the glory heavyweight champion of the world in kickboxing. 1.00
00:50:00.000 Bad motherfucker. 0.99
00:50:02.000 Just like super technical kickboxer. 0.99
00:50:04.000 So if Johnson's in there sparring with that guy on a daily basis, he's getting some super high quality striking training.
00:50:11.000 And Johnson has lethal power. 0.98
00:50:13.000 He's really a fucking strong dude, man. 1.00
00:50:15.000 He's a destroyer. 1.00
00:50:16.000 He's a destroyer.
00:50:17.000 His power is ridiculous, and it's incredible that this guy started off his career in the UFC at 170, and now he's at 205. At 205, he's just smashing people. 0.78
00:50:27.000 Not only did he not lose power going up 35 fucking pounds of competition weight, not even body weight. 0.92
00:50:34.000 There's a lot of guys like Hendrix. 0.97
00:50:36.000 They'll fight at 170. He'll get to 205 easy in the downtime because he just gets fat, eats a lot of fucking wild pigs and shit. 1.00
00:50:43.000 He's nutty. 1.00
00:50:44.000 He's a nutty Texas guy. 0.98
00:50:45.000 But Rumble would get up to that in meat. 1.00
00:50:49.000 He's got 205 pounds of fucking meat on him. 0.99
00:50:52.000 So he went from 170 to weight cut to 205, comfortable weight cut, and just smashing people. 1.00
00:50:58.000 It's crazy.
00:50:59.000 It's unprecedented.
00:51:00.000 No one's ever done it before.
00:51:01.000 Right.
00:51:01.000 No one's ever, like, gone up not just one weight class, but two weight classes and been a legit threat to the world title.
00:51:08.000 When are they fighting?
00:51:09.000 They are fighting in May.
00:51:11.000 That is May, um, what is the date?
00:51:14.000 23rd?
00:51:14.000 Is it Vegas?
00:51:15.000 Yeah, May 23rd.
00:51:16.000 Come on down. 0.94
00:51:17.000 I may go for that one, man.
00:51:18.000 That's a good one.
00:51:19.000 Go down.
00:51:20.000 Come down.
00:51:20.000 Come hang with us.
00:51:21.000 Tom Segura and Ari Shafir.
00:51:24.000 No, Tom Segura and Tony Hinchcliffe and I are doing the Ka Theater.
00:51:28.000 Oh, is that in MGM? Yeah.
00:51:30.000 Okay.
00:51:30.000 Yeah.
00:51:31.000 Yeah, I go out there.
00:51:32.000 It's the only thing I take off to do is to go see fights.
00:51:34.000 I take off for nothing else.
00:51:36.000 That's awesome.
00:51:36.000 Yeah, I mean, that's a hobby I have is I like to go to UFC and watch.
00:51:39.000 That's my only leisure activity.
00:51:41.000 Well, I tell people, like, one of the funnest times I ever had in Vegas was a time where I didn't have a gig scheduled, and it was you and me and Red Band and Bobby Kelly and Anthony.
00:51:55.000 Remember, we all went to see Dice.
00:51:57.000 Yep.
00:51:57.000 Bobby Kelly was there too, right?
00:51:58.000 He was.
00:51:59.000 Yeah, he was.
00:52:00.000 And we all went to see Dice.
00:52:02.000 We all had a steak dinner like men. 1.00
00:52:04.000 We had a good fucking meal in us. 0.99
00:52:06.000 We went down to the Riviera and watched a show. 0.99
00:52:09.000 Hung out with Dice.
00:52:10.000 And Dice was all happy to see us.
00:52:12.000 We went backstage.
00:52:13.000 We were chilling in the green room. 1.00
00:52:14.000 We had a great fucking time. 0.99
00:52:16.000 That was a lot of fun. 1.00
00:52:17.000 That was a great fucking time. 0.99
00:52:18.000 It was really fun. 0.99
00:52:19.000 It was one of my funnest times ever in Vegas.
00:52:21.000 And it was also a time to sit like an audience member and just laugh. 1.00
00:52:25.000 We were just laughing like idiots. 1.00
00:52:27.000 Well, I watched you when I went out there. 1.00
00:52:29.000 I told you, yours is the first comedy show I sat through in years. 0.99
00:52:33.000 And I mean fucking years. 0.97
00:52:35.000 And it was fun to watch. 0.99
00:52:37.000 It was really enjoyable.
00:52:38.000 I might have seen The End of Ari, who I like, and then I watched you, and it made me laugh.
00:52:42.000 And it was kind of fun just to watch...
00:52:45.000 Somebody perform who I know and like and just enjoy it like you said as an audience member.
00:52:49.000 Well, I did the same to you and Austin.
00:52:51.000 I told you that you kind of changed my thinking about two things. 0.98
00:52:55.000 About the length of a set and also about too many dick jokes. 0.98
00:52:59.000 Right. 1.00
00:53:00.000 Because I would go, God damn, I got too many fucking dick jokes, Matt. 1.00
00:53:03.000 But I saw Norton killed, killed, killed. 1.00
00:53:06.000 50 minutes, non-stop barrage of dick jokes, and I'm howling laughing. 0.99
00:53:11.000 I'm howling laughing. 0.99
00:53:12.000 And I remember thinking, you know what, I like that you just pound them for 50 minutes.
00:53:18.000 I was always like, I gotta do at least an hour 10, maybe an hour 20. I think an hour is my magic number.
00:53:23.000 Yeah, I do an hour now, about an hour.
00:53:25.000 That seems to be like the magic number, where people just get tired to listen to you.
00:53:29.000 So what I do is I bring good guys on the road with me, and the good guys do like at least a half an hour.
00:53:34.000 So either Hinchcliffe will do a half an hour, or if I have Hinchcliffe and Segura, they'll each do like 20 minutes.
00:53:40.000 So there's a nice variety of looks, and then I'll do like an hour, and it's a great show.
00:53:45.000 It's a big pack together, fast.
00:53:47.000 Like when I go to see a movie, I'm so happy with a kick-ass 90-minute movie.
00:53:51.000 That's good.
00:53:52.000 You don't have to give me a three hour movie, man.
00:53:54.000 I don't need a Lord of the Rings. 1.00
00:53:56.000 I don't need to drag that bitch out. 1.00
00:53:58.000 One and a half hours is a good number. 1.00
00:54:00.000 So seeing you and you crush for 50 minutes, it put it in my head.
00:54:04.000 I was like, you know what?
00:54:05.000 I really enjoyed that.
00:54:06.000 And as an audience member, I would really enjoy that.
00:54:09.000 Thank you.
00:54:10.000 I go through my phases where I'm really filthy or I'm not as dirty.
00:54:14.000 It all depends on what's happening in my life. 0.99
00:54:16.000 When I'm single like I am now, I'm dirtier because I'm doing more dirty shit. 0.99
00:54:20.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
00:54:21.000 There's more stuff to report.
00:54:24.000 There's a special coming out Friday the 24th, which is why I'm in L.A. And I'm really happy with it.
00:54:29.000 You always have to say that about your latest project, but I actually really like this one, but I'm already moving on, because I've got to drop all that fucking material, and it's an hour of stuff that I no longer talk about.
00:54:41.000 You know, that's really fun.
00:54:42.000 It's fun to do.
00:54:44.000 I get scared every time I do it.
00:54:46.000 Every time I drop my act and start all over again, I get scared.
00:54:49.000 But it's really fun.
00:54:50.000 What is it called?
00:54:52.000 Contextually inadequate.
00:54:53.000 Yeah.
00:54:54.000 Where'd that come from?
00:54:55.000 It was something about context.
00:54:57.000 I had originally wanted to call it context not included, but I didn't like that as much.
00:55:00.000 And I just thought of like...
00:55:03.000 It's like my greatest fear is to be inadequate like I feel sexually inadequate all the time and Contextually inadequate.
00:55:08.000 I'm afraid that what I'm saying is meaningless So it just tied in it just felt right because it's my two greatest fears So I put them together and made one mediocre special.
00:55:16.000 I hope it's good.
00:55:17.000 I know it's gonna be good.
00:55:18.000 You're hilarious But I thank you but I like it like you know a lot of times you shoot something Normally you like it in hindsight like I'll like something I shot like a year later But, you know, now I'm like, yeah, I'm really happy with this.
00:55:28.000 I'm happy with the pace of it.
00:55:29.000 I'm happy with it.
00:55:30.000 I talk about Cosby.
00:55:31.000 I talk about Anthony getting fired. 0.99
00:55:32.000 You know, just a lot of shit that, you know, felt new. 0.98
00:55:36.000 That's so important because one of the things that happens to comics when they hold on to their material too long is that they don't think like that anymore. 0.99
00:55:43.000 Look at that.
00:55:44.000 I love the Peter Criss.
00:55:45.000 I do.
00:55:46.000 I have all four Kiss solo albums as characters.
00:55:48.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
00:55:49.000 That one's just me.
00:55:49.000 I got H. Freely as Chip.
00:55:51.000 I got fucking one of them as Edgar and one as Uncle Paul. 0.99
00:55:53.000 That's hilarious. 0.98
00:55:54.000 Yeah, and those are just all me on the Sabbath cover.
00:55:57.000 It was Colin's idea because you want to put yourself on album covers, and I had this guy...
00:56:01.000 Put me on all the Black Sabbath records.
00:56:03.000 So every time you refresh the page, it's a different image?
00:56:06.000 Oh, that's hilarious!
00:56:07.000 Yeah, they're just all Sabbath records.
00:56:09.000 That is hilarious.
00:56:10.000 I gotta do some more, though.
00:56:12.000 Is that picture from the last one, was that you when you had a nose operation?
00:56:17.000 Yeah, that was just one of my many apnea photos. 1.00
00:56:19.000 My fucking fat face. 1.00
00:56:22.000 I hate the way that... 1.00
00:56:24.000 No, no, no.
00:56:25.000 You know, Mozzie's first record. 0.96
00:56:27.000 Wow.
00:56:28.000 That's pretty cool, man.
00:56:29.000 And it feels like it's me.
00:56:30.000 It feels like it's my...
00:56:31.000 It's jimnorton.com, and it just feels like it's mine.
00:56:35.000 What I was gonna say is that for me at least Doing new material is really important like at the end of a cycle like see you got a two-year cycle for me It's like two years seems to be if I do a special every one year that it's just too rushed that I'm not honing the material enough I'm not giving my perspective chance enough to grow on stage and it's like I'll do way more than I need to in those two years and then I'll whittle it down to what I really like When that time comes,
00:57:04.000 you know, but then it forces me when I abandon it and start with new stuff, my perspective is always refreshed.
00:57:11.000 I think as a person, you're constantly re-evaluating things.
00:57:15.000 And as a stand-up, you kind of have to be.
00:57:17.000 You have to always be looking for what's funny about something, what's interesting.
00:57:20.000 And that changes.
00:57:21.000 Your material changes, too, you know?
00:57:23.000 And fans have to realize, too, like, you know, I get so, it's amazing, like, how much feedback you get that is exactly the opposite.
00:57:30.000 Like, you'll get one guy will tweet or write, hey, man, fucking Norton, this stuff is so topical, it doesn't hold up. 0.99
00:57:36.000 And then the next person will say, fucking enough with the tranny jokes and sex jokes. 1.00
00:57:41.000 It's like, well, make up your mind, motherfuckers, what do you want? 1.00
00:57:44.000 I can't do it for you. 1.00
00:57:45.000 I can only do, like, what feels right.
00:57:47.000 And the reason I do a lot of topical stuff is, A, it interests me, and B, it's like I talk on the radio every day.
00:57:52.000 That's what's on my mind.
00:57:54.000 It's like when you're fucking reading the paper every day and you're talking about stuff every day, you're formulating opinions because you're talking about something long form for six minutes or ten minutes, and then you just start getting an idea about it, and you create something. 0.51
00:58:06.000 Yeah, but the people that are, like, really wacky hardcore fans, they get upset if you talk about something on the radio, and then that becomes a bit. 0.94
00:58:17.000 They don't know what they want, because the criticism is, again, 50% say this, 50% say that.
00:58:23.000 I think it's even more than 50% say they like being in on the creative process.
00:58:26.000 Like, oh, I remember when you first brought that up.
00:58:28.000 But there's people that are just looking to complain.
00:58:30.000 Yeah.
00:58:31.000 No matter what you do, there's going to be some people that are just looking to be upset.
00:58:34.000 And there's some people that just want to get your attention.
00:58:36.000 They just want you to notice them.
00:58:37.000 They do.
00:58:38.000 And I actually wrote about that when Lindy West and I had that debate about rape jokes.
00:58:42.000 Afterwards, she was getting a lot of rape comments. 1.00
00:58:45.000 Hope you get raped and killed. 1.00
00:58:47.000 And she wrote a big blog about how it was all these rape threats. 1.00
00:58:51.000 And then I wrote something for XO Jane, which I didn't think they were legit rape threats. 1.00
00:58:55.000 If we had been talking about drunk driving, I said, people would have fucking wrote, I hope you're killed by a drunk driver. 0.99
00:58:59.000 It's one of those things where people just want to be heard. 1.00
00:59:01.000 They want to say the worst thing they can say. 1.00
00:59:04.000 I hope you get raped. 1.00
00:59:05.000 It's pretty much the worst thing you can say. 1.00
00:59:06.000 It's like walking into a room and just screaming real loud.
00:59:08.000 Everybody goes, what was that?
00:59:09.000 We noticed you.
00:59:10.000 That's what you wanted.
00:59:12.000 Well, you know what, man?
00:59:12.000 There's always going to be people that are just looking to get upset.
00:59:15.000 And there's always going to be people that are looking to piss people off.
00:59:18.000 They think they can push your buttons.
00:59:20.000 And trolls, like anonymous trolls online, taking them into account as an actual legit threat, you have no idea what you're dealing with.
00:59:28.000 It might be a legit threat. 0.99
00:59:29.000 But it also might be some 13-year-old kid who's a dickhead. 0.90
00:59:33.000 I think the majority of them, this is what I love when they criticize material, or they criticize what you're doing. 0.95
00:59:39.000 The way I've been talking about Opie and Anthony, and a lot of people, he's not telling the truth.
00:59:43.000 Like, what do you want me to say?
00:59:45.000 What do you mean, you're not telling the truth about what? 0.94
00:59:47.000 A lot of these guys just want me to go on the radio and motherfuck Opie, and they think that's what's being honest. 0.91
00:59:53.000 They think that that's what I should do. 0.95
00:59:55.000 Meanwhile, they're posting under anonymous names. 1.00
00:59:58.000 It's like, you fucking cowards. 1.00
00:59:59.000 You fucking afraid for everybody to see who you really are. 1.00
01:00:03.000 Cowards. 1.00
01:00:04.000 Sitting in your house demanding other people do shit that you don't have the moral courage to say your name. 1.00
01:00:09.000 Go fuck yourself. 1.00
01:00:10.000 But they think that's what honesty is. 1.00
01:00:12.000 Like, that's what they want.
01:00:13.000 And it's like, if I don't give them that, instead of realizing maybe that's not where the truth lies for me, they think I'm not being honest.
01:00:21.000 Yeah, but you're evaluating the minds of retards. 1.00
01:00:23.000 Like, you're looking into these really dopey people for logic and reasoning. 1.00
01:00:28.000 There's just a bunch of people that are just cunts. 1.00
01:00:30.000 No matter what you're doing, if you really concentrate too much about what they're saying, you're gonna, you get crazy. 0.99
01:00:35.000 It's like you're taking in crazy input.
01:00:37.000 But there are times where they're right.
01:00:39.000 And there are, like with my stand-up or other things that they've criticized, I, and this is why they annoy me, it's like...
01:00:45.000 It's like, hey dummies, I've actually given you guys credit when you're right. 0.93
01:00:48.000 I really meant it when I've said there are times when they say things that are really smart and intuitive and they fucking nail one of my shitty habits or my verbal crutches or whatever. 0.91
01:00:58.000 They make a lot of very valid points. 0.99
01:01:00.000 And then I'll read that they theorize something about the radio show and it's like, oh my god, did I give you idiots way too much credit? 0.99
01:01:05.000 Well, see what you're saying, the problem with what you're saying is they. 0.99
01:01:08.000 You're saying they.
01:01:09.000 As if they're like one collective unit that has a vote and they'll decide. 0.98
01:01:13.000 And there's a bunch of fuckheads out there and there's a bunch of really cool people out there too. 0.95
01:01:18.000 And sometimes the really cool people, they disagree with you and they have a good point. 0.98
01:01:22.000 Sure.
01:01:32.000 Sure.
01:01:40.000 A dummy who also gets the same amount of voice.
01:01:43.000 Like, you know, you're on Twitter and someone's reaching out to you on Twitter.
01:01:47.000 If you read a dummy's words, you know, he got to you just like the smart guy got to you.
01:01:52.000 They're all receiving.
01:01:54.000 You know, you're receiving all that data in your brain.
01:01:57.000 It's just you got to decide, like, okay, what kind of a person am I taking this advice from?
01:02:01.000 What kind of a person am I receiving this criticism from? 1.00
01:02:04.000 Is he a fucking idiot? 1.00
01:02:05.000 Or is this a cool person who just disagrees with me? 1.00
01:02:08.000 And there's two different types of people out there when it comes to things that are a conflict.
01:02:13.000 There's cool people that you can get involved with conflicts with where you work out each other's differences. 0.98
01:02:19.000 And then there's cunts. 0.99
01:02:20.000 And that's the fine art of anonymous internet Like, you can be anonymous and still not be a cunt. 1.00
01:02:27.000 And that's the thing. 0.99
01:02:28.000 That's what irritates me about that culture.
01:02:31.000 It's like, I have a public email.
01:02:33.000 The real Jim Norton at Gmail is for people to contact me.
01:02:36.000 Not once have I ever gotten an email from somebody.
01:02:38.000 That was reasonable.
01:02:40.000 If it's nasty, I'll answer you nasty, or I'll ignore you.
01:02:43.000 But I've never gotten one that was...
01:02:44.000 And again, guys, you guys had medication. 0.99
01:02:47.000 Fucking slow down with the eight paragraphs. 0.97
01:02:50.000 But if you send me an email and go, look, this is what I don't like about the show, and I feel you guys are doing this too much, I really do read it, and I really do listen to what you say. 0.98
01:02:57.000 A lot of times I don't agree with it, and there's times where I write you back, but I'm not that irrational where somebody will be critical. 0.99
01:03:03.000 Just don't be a dick. 0.98
01:03:04.000 You can't say to me, you know what I mean? 1.00
01:03:07.000 Fucking show stinks. 1.00
01:03:08.000 Right. 1.00
01:03:08.000 Norton, don't be your cunt. 1.00
01:03:10.000 And then you don't respond and they go, see, he can't take criticism. 1.00
01:03:13.000 It's like, well, you're not exactly being fucking, you know, you're not contacting me. 0.99
01:03:18.000 You know, calling someone a cunt is not the act of a friend. 0.99
01:03:21.000 You know, you're not writing me an email and just going, look, man, I think you guys are disloyal to Ant. 0.98
01:03:27.000 There's a lot of loyalty.
01:03:29.000 Issues.
01:03:30.000 Yeah, and it's like, how much more loyal do you want me to be to Anthony?
01:03:33.000 Like, I love Anthony.
01:03:34.000 Like, how can I express to you, like, that's not enough for them.
01:03:37.000 Like, at first they were like...
01:03:38.000 Well, you know, you're not saying you're loyal to Anthony.
01:03:41.000 I'm going to Anthony's show.
01:03:42.000 And then that's not enough.
01:03:43.000 And, like, all he does is say he loves Anthony and goes on his show.
01:03:45.000 What would you like me to do?
01:03:47.000 Anthony and I are fine with how we treat each other.
01:03:49.000 Like, what do you want?
01:03:50.000 Sometimes I think that they just don't know what they want.
01:03:54.000 And I wish you would express to me what you want.
01:03:56.000 Send me an email that makes sense.
01:03:59.000 Unmedicated.
01:04:00.000 And I really will read it and try to accommodate you. 0.99
01:04:02.000 Like, I do want the fucking fans happy. 0.99
01:04:04.000 Right. 0.99
01:04:04.000 And they don't seem to get that. 0.99
01:04:06.000 It's like, I really do...
01:04:07.000 Like, you know, I stand out and meet everybody. 0.99
01:04:09.000 And I don't charge for fucking photos. 0.99
01:04:11.000 You do the same thing. 1.00
01:04:12.000 I've seen you do it. 1.00
01:04:13.000 How much more can I say to fans, I appreciate what you do and I do appreciate your input, than standing there like a fucking dumb jizz bucket. 1.00
01:04:20.000 I don't charge for anything. 0.99
01:04:22.000 Most of you don't buy things on the way out.
01:04:24.000 And I always thank you for coming.
01:04:25.000 Like, what do you want me to do? 1.00
01:04:26.000 Suck your dick in the parking lot? 1.00
01:04:27.000 I'm there. 1.00
01:04:28.000 But again, most people are cool, right?
01:04:30.000 Yes, they are.
01:04:31.000 So you're freaking out about a small percentage that you should just ignore.
01:04:35.000 Actually, I'm not even freaked out. 0.99
01:04:37.000 I'm a little hyper now because I'm drinking this fucking gasoline you gave me. 0.99
01:04:40.000 It's very good. 0.99
01:04:41.000 Caveman coffee.
01:04:42.000 Delicious.
01:04:43.000 But it does hype me up.
01:04:45.000 But I'm not even angry at them.
01:04:46.000 Some of them are really funny.
01:04:48.000 And some of the mean ones are really funny dudes. 0.95
01:04:51.000 And it's like, God, you know more about the show than to be this dumb at this moment. 0.94
01:04:57.000 You know more... 0.98
01:04:59.000 About what we do and about our interactions with each other and it'd be a dope at this moment.
01:05:04.000 But I'm not even that mad at them.
01:05:05.000 It's like some of them just are hilarious.
01:05:07.000 Well, it's also, they're not realizing that you're just a person. 0.52
01:05:11.000 For some reason, when you think of someone as being a famous comedian, you think of them being way out there in New York, or wherever the fuck they are at the moment, you're tweeting at them, and they're tweeting back. 0.85
01:05:22.000 Like, that doesn't even seem real to a kid. 1.00
01:05:24.000 If you're an 18-year-old kid, and you're living in Cleveland, and you get on your iPhone, and you're like, fuck you, you jizzbucket, to you. 1.00
01:05:32.000 And then you're like, fuck you, I didn't say anything to you, asshole. 1.00
01:05:35.000 You're like... 1.00
01:05:36.000 Did Jim Norton really tweet at me?
01:05:37.000 It doesn't even seem real.
01:05:39.000 I love going back at them and having fun with them. 0.97
01:05:42.000 I like sometimes being a dick and then knowing that they're just going to start fighting with other people and it's out of my hands. 0.98
01:05:46.000 It's kind of fun. 0.96
01:05:47.000 Well, I do enjoy going to people's Twitter pages when they all day long are in legitimate fights.
01:05:53.000 Like, one of the things I noticed, this group that likes to call themselves social justice warriors, or they get disparagingly referred to as social justice warriors, there's a bunch of these people that I follow, and some of them that even, I'm on a blocked list.
01:06:06.000 Can you believe that?
01:06:07.000 Oh yeah, I think I am too.
01:06:08.000 I think I know that list.
01:06:10.000 Somebody sent me that because you send out incendiary things and their weak culture of I don't want to read what upsets me.
01:06:17.000 Does that mean jokes?
01:06:18.000 So no, jokes are bad for our culture.
01:06:22.000 My point being, I like to go to their pages because some of them, their entire timeline is them fighting with people.
01:06:32.000 In these horrible, insult-laden, back-and-forth conversations. 1.00
01:06:38.000 And there's that old expression that if you go outside and you run into an asshole, you probably just ran into an asshole. 1.00
01:06:45.000 But if you go outside and everybody you meet is an asshole, it might be you. 1.00
01:06:50.000 Right, you're the common denominator. 1.00
01:06:51.000 It might be you.
01:06:52.000 Yeah.
01:06:53.000 Like if your Twitter feed is just constant complaining about everything in the world, and then arguments with people that are disagreeing with you that end up in horrible insults, Maybe it's you.
01:07:05.000 Maybe it's you.
01:07:06.000 Maybe you don't realize that you're transmitting a signal, and that signal is super cunty. 0.99
01:07:11.000 And what you're getting back is super cunty data.
01:07:14.000 And you think it's the whole world. 1.00
01:07:16.000 The world sucks. 1.00
01:07:17.000 Look, I'm getting rape threats, and I'm getting all these horrible harassment threats. 1.00
01:07:23.000 Maybe you send out a real shitty flag. 1.00
01:07:26.000 You fly a shitty flag, and shit comes back your way. 1.00
01:07:30.000 And people respond to it in a shitty way, and they don't like it. 1.00
01:07:33.000 If somebody insults you publicly, and then you insult them back, They get all of a sudden like, what, you picking on me? 0.60
01:07:40.000 Jim Norton attacked a blogger.
01:07:42.000 You're a heckler. 0.73
01:07:43.000 You've heckled me online. 0.96
01:07:45.000 You've at-mentioned me so I see it. 1.00
01:07:46.000 You basically, here's what they say, like, Jim, I'd like to walk up to you and go, fuck you in your face, and then walk away without you saying anything. 1.00
01:07:54.000 You should. 1.00
01:07:55.000 You should do that to your fans. 1.00
01:07:57.000 Yeah, let them just say, fuck you. 1.00
01:07:59.000 Dude, you don't even love your fans. 1.00
01:08:00.000 They are animals.
01:08:02.000 They really are good, though.
01:08:03.000 The things they tolerate me saying...
01:08:05.000 I was on stage in Denver recently, and the biggest response I got was doing Chip and Uncle Paul.
01:08:10.000 I'm threatening to molest...
01:08:11.000 I'm reminiscing about...
01:08:13.000 I always find a young guy and just talk about, like, yeah, I remember when you was a baby. 0.98
01:08:17.000 They fucking love knowing that I'm going to talk about molesting this man. 0.97
01:08:21.000 Well, it's that character. 0.99
01:08:23.000 It allows you to do things that are totally unacceptable normally.
01:08:27.000 My favorite thing to do in the world.
01:08:28.000 There's nothing...
01:08:29.000 If I could literally...
01:08:31.000 Doing Chip and Uncle Paul and Edgar and all that stuff.
01:08:34.000 Here's why it's so much fun.
01:08:37.000 It's playing the bad guy. 0.99
01:08:39.000 You get to explore that fucking horrible side of... 1.00
01:08:42.000 When we're doing a story about a fucking priest or a molester, just to know that Uncle Paul can step in and go in any direction. 1.00
01:08:49.000 It's so much fun. 0.99
01:08:51.000 Because, you know, as a man, you gotta go, oh, it's terrible, that's wrong, but that's not funny to say.
01:08:56.000 But it is, to me...
01:08:57.000 How long has Uncle Paul been around for?
01:08:59.000 Well, he started, Uncle Paul started, I've been doing characters for years in relationships.
01:09:03.000 Long before I did them on the radio, I did them to annoy my girlfriends.
01:09:07.000 He was Uncle Larry many years ago.
01:09:09.000 There was Roger Davis, Roger D, and this is long before Chip.
01:09:13.000 There was Roger, and Roger had a brother, Lester, who was burned in a fire.
01:09:17.000 You had a whole time, like a whole storyline.
01:09:20.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:09:20.000 Lester was burned everywhere but his knees, and so he would always wear knickers to show off his legs.
01:09:25.000 It was a whole thing.
01:09:26.000 And Uncle Roger, no, Uncle Larry...
01:09:29.000 And then it merged into Chip, who my girlfriend hated so much. 1.00
01:09:33.000 And Chip became the fucking... 1.00
01:09:35.000 Because Chip would embarrass people. 0.99
01:09:37.000 I did that literally before I ever thought I'd do it on the radio.
01:09:40.000 I would be out with girlfriends and embarrass them by doing that.
01:09:43.000 I would just be making bad jokes in the cab. 0.99
01:09:46.000 And my girlfriend, Jen, and even girlfriends before, would just go, just shut the fuck up. 1.00
01:09:50.000 It's not funny. 0.99
01:09:52.000 And it made me so happy...
01:09:59.000 This is what would drive Jen crazy. 1.00
01:10:01.000 We'd be in like a really nice steakhouse and the waiter would come over and she would order like the salmon and then Chip just goes, how much is that? 0.97
01:10:09.000 And would ask the waiter and she was like, do you know how humiliating it is that people think I fucked that guy? 0.99
01:10:15.000 People think I'm fucking this guy. 0.99
01:10:20.000 And that's where they come from. 0.99
01:10:21.000 That visceral reaction, it was real.
01:10:24.000 Like, who was I doing one night that she... 0.96
01:10:27.000 Oh, I would do...
01:10:28.000 I would do...
01:10:29.000 You know how Edgar's one I don't do as much because...
01:10:31.000 Who's Edgar?
01:10:32.000 Edgar's the one with the tiny mouth.
01:10:33.000 He just goes, you're a woman of lower stock. 1.00
01:10:36.000 And that's his thing.
01:10:38.000 But he had a brother, Eugene.
01:10:40.000 And Eugene was always telling her, like, you know, you need to get right with the Lord. 1.00
01:10:45.000 And he would always tell her she was garbage and a whore. 1.00
01:10:48.000 You know? 1.00
01:10:49.000 You tell my girlfriend she was a whore and she was not worthy. 1.00
01:10:52.000 I'm fucking crying. 1.00
01:10:53.000 I'm crying. 0.99
01:10:54.000 But what happened was my girlfriend at the time, who's now my best friend, she's my ex-girlfriend from years ago, she hated Eugene so much.
01:11:01.000 And I mean, it wasn't even funny anymore because we would do it and she would dig her fingernails into my face. 1.00
01:11:07.000 She dug her nails into my face because I think Eugene hit a spot with her. 1.00
01:11:12.000 It's true.
01:11:16.000 I'm crying.
01:11:16.000 It was such a visceral reaction from her that I stopped doing Eugene because she caught me dirty texting with another girl.
01:11:24.000 I told you. 0.98
01:11:25.000 It wasn't even a girl I ever fucked. 0.99
01:11:27.000 It was just a girl. 1.00
01:11:28.000 I told you, my dirty, intriguing. 0.93
01:11:29.000 It was a girl.
01:11:30.000 I was like, I'll pay you $500, baby.
01:11:32.000 I'm such an addict. 0.99
01:11:34.000 I would save my conversations to jerk off to. 0.99
01:11:36.000 I hit the wrong button and I fucking printed it. 0.99
01:11:39.000 Dude, I fucking printed it So she wakes me up one morning. 0.99
01:11:44.000 She goes, Jim... 0.99
01:11:46.000 Wake up!
01:11:46.000 And I knew I was in trouble.
01:11:47.000 So she found these things, and she knew I hadn't fucked the girl, but it was a real strain on the relationship.
01:11:52.000 So I swear to you, as one of the ways of making amends to her, I stopped doing Eugene. 0.90
01:11:58.000 I killed off Eugene Mellencamp because I do a baby boy character named Jelly, who she liked.
01:12:05.000 Who's Jelly?
01:12:06.000 I don't do Jelly publicly.
01:12:07.000 He's too embarrassed.
01:12:08.000 He's just a little boy. 1.00
01:12:09.000 But she thought he was really cute, and Uncle Paul would always molest Jelly and fucking... 1.00
01:12:14.000 And Chip was so stupid. 1.00
01:12:16.000 Chip would always drop jelly off at Uncle Paul's house and he didn't know. 1.00
01:12:18.000 It was a whole fucking inner world. 0.96
01:12:21.000 So, yeah, Chip would be like, what? 0.98
01:12:23.000 Uncle Paul's a good guy.
01:12:25.000 He's helping out.
01:12:25.000 And she would drive her crazy.
01:12:27.000 Oh, my God. 0.99
01:12:28.000 That's so silly. 0.93
01:12:28.000 But it was just a fun way to be. 0.93
01:12:30.000 And she reacted so strongly.
01:12:33.000 And I've said before, I am animating them now.
01:12:36.000 And I'm in a point now where I haven't introduced them.
01:12:39.000 We're working on it.
01:12:40.000 Oh, you're going to do an actual show with A pilot.
01:12:42.000 Oh, yeah, but this is after years of people telling me to do it.
01:12:45.000 What are you going to do it on?
01:12:46.000 I don't know yet, but it's going to be on something...
01:12:49.000 What about Netflix?
01:12:50.000 Nah, they've got a Bill Burr cartoon, and I don't think they're interested, and I want to do it online somewhere.
01:12:56.000 I don't think I'll be able to monetize it.
01:12:58.000 I have a six-minute pilot.
01:12:59.000 I have a second five-minute episode where the audio is all taped already, and I'm looking at what they call animatronics now.
01:13:06.000 Which is a very basic animation.
01:13:09.000 It's like a storyboarding that moves.
01:13:11.000 So it doesn't really look like the characters, but they're just showing you the motion they're going to be in and where they are.
01:13:18.000 But I got to see Chip's face animated.
01:13:20.000 I see what the character looks like and it's getting to where I'm happy with it.
01:13:24.000 Because again, different levels of animation are expensive.
01:13:26.000 It's like two grand a minute.
01:13:28.000 So both of these things are costing me like 20 grand to do total.
01:13:31.000 Which is, alright, that's not that bad if it's an investment and it's mine. 0.96
01:13:34.000 I fucking own it. 0.97
01:13:35.000 Right. 0.95
01:13:35.000 But, you know, to get the animation that's amazing, it's like five grand a minute. 0.95
01:13:38.000 And it's like, I'm not funding that much. 0.98
01:13:40.000 So these are a fucking... 0.99
01:13:42.000 It's a beginning. 1.00
01:13:44.000 And where it will go from here depends on how people respond to it.
01:13:47.000 If they think it's funny and they like it, they might go, that's cool, but we want this, we want that.
01:13:51.000 But I really want to do something with it.
01:13:53.000 So I've got a lot of the characters in the first one.
01:13:56.000 And in the second one, I have a couple of the characters, and I think people will like it.
01:13:59.000 But I literally just did it because after years and years of people telling me to do this stuff.
01:14:03.000 But it's the most fun I have on the record.
01:14:05.000 There's nothing...
01:14:06.000 I can't listen to Jim Norton.
01:14:07.000 I really can't.
01:14:08.000 As a kid, I would always have these weird...
01:14:11.000 I would detach from Jim Norton, and we would fantasize.
01:14:14.000 I had this little baby...
01:14:15.000 this fantasy of me when I was five.
01:14:17.000 Me and Jimmy Robinson were friends.
01:14:19.000 Jimmy Robinson was a boy in a cape.
01:14:21.000 It was me.
01:14:22.000 He was Jim Norton in a cape.
01:14:23.000 But me and Jimmy Robinson hated Jimmy Norton.
01:14:25.000 There was this weird separation.
01:14:27.000 I don't know who I was.
01:14:28.000 I was just this guy.
01:14:30.000 I was five or six.
01:14:32.000 Jimmy Robinson was really cool and good looking.
01:14:34.000 He was five or six.
01:14:35.000 He looked like he was me. 0.99
01:14:36.000 But he rode a tricycle and had a fucking cape and we just... 1.00
01:14:39.000 Jim Norton was fucking shit. 1.00
01:14:41.000 So I've always had this weird detachment. 1.00
01:14:43.000 So I don't like listening to myself any more than anybody else does right now on coffee.
01:14:47.000 But I like watching...
01:14:48.000 I like listening to Uncle Paul or Chip because they don't sound like me. 0.96
01:14:52.000 So I'll go back and listen to fucking Chip and I laugh like I've never heard it before because I don't remember saying it. 0.91
01:14:56.000 I mean I remember doing it but I don't... 0.99
01:14:58.000 In those moments you're not fucking paying attention. 0.92
01:15:01.000 So in those moments you are really thinking like that guy. 0.97
01:15:04.000 Oh, yeah, it's never thought through, ever.
01:15:06.000 And I'll listen sometimes and remember it, and I'll listen to it like somebody who's like, oh, yeah, no, you really are thinking in that...
01:15:12.000 That mindset, like a character.
01:15:14.000 And it's fun, but it's fun to do.
01:15:16.000 And that's why I'm always interested, like, when I'm uncomfortable acting somewhere.
01:15:19.000 And again, I know the difference between standing there with Clive Owen, with a bunch of people playing doctors.
01:15:24.000 That's a real situation. 0.99
01:15:25.000 Instead of just talking to my fucking, you know, dumbball fucking friends on the radio, and Bob Kelly's there. 0.99
01:15:30.000 You know, there's no pressure with your buddies. 0.99
01:15:32.000 But it's almost like, why is one so comfortable, where there's zero planning in it, and it's just going to be, you're talking about whatever you think of for five minutes, and you know it has to be funny, and you know it has to move a story along.
01:15:42.000 Why is that not scary at all?
01:15:45.000 But this is.
01:15:46.000 So something is interfering, I think, to kind of bring it back. 0.99
01:15:49.000 But that's the most fun I have, is doing that shit. 0.98
01:15:52.000 So you've been doing these characters for a long time. 0.99
01:15:55.000 Yeah, I brought them to the radio over time.
01:15:58.000 They became in the radio over time, but they existed long before radio.
01:16:03.000 They existed in my personal life as just a fun way to be...
01:16:06.000 There's so many...
01:16:07.000 Like, my ex-girlfriend was the best, and I'll see her tonight. 0.59
01:16:10.000 She's fucking awesome. 0.90
01:16:12.000 Jennifer... 1.00
01:16:13.000 I've never given her name before, but I've talked about her.
01:16:15.000 Her name is Jennifer Carmody, and she has a podcast.
01:16:17.000 She's really a funny person.
01:16:18.000 And she... 1.00
01:16:19.000 She's the one. 1.00
01:16:21.000 She fucked the characters. 1.00
01:16:23.000 Like, she fucked Chip and Uncle Paul... 1.00
01:16:26.000 And Jen is hilarious. 1.00
01:16:27.000 And she, uh, she fucked Sudley. 1.00
01:16:30.000 Sudley was one I never knew. 0.99
01:16:31.000 Who's Sudley? 0.99
01:16:31.000 Sudley was one who was just dumb and he would drool a lot and he would lick the side of her face and her neck and she hated Sudley. 0.99
01:16:37.000 He was kind of retarded, but he never made it to the radio. 0.99
01:16:40.000 Some things don't translate. 0.82
01:16:41.000 They're just things you do in your personal life.
01:16:43.000 What kind of a cast do you have in your brain?
01:16:45.000 How many people are in there?
01:16:47.000 There was at one point with Jen, and Jen, the reason she's working on this animation with me, because literally her and my manager Jonathan and Club Soda Kenny have dealt with these people in their personal lives more than any of you have ever heard them on the radio.
01:16:59.000 There was at one point with Jen.
01:17:01.000 There was, of course, there was Chip, and there was Jelly, and there was Edgar Mellencamp and Eugene Mellencamp, and I did kill off Eugene.
01:17:07.000 There was Uncle Paul.
01:17:10.000 There was, she remembered Sheldon, who was, there was another one called the Sushi Kid, who was just a guy who kind of talked like Rich Vought, but like sushi, and talked all about sushi.
01:17:22.000 He's the Sushi Kid.
01:17:22.000 The sushi kid?
01:17:22.000 The sushi kid.
01:17:24.000 And then there was fucking Sudley who drooled a lot and always go... 1.00
01:17:27.000 But there was a lot of... 0.99
01:17:28.000 A lot of these characters had no depth to them.
01:17:30.000 And that's why I didn't bring them to the radio.
01:17:32.000 They were only funny contextually in the relationship because Jen got them and I got them.
01:17:36.000 So there was no...
01:17:37.000 They would be one-trick ponies on the radio.
01:17:40.000 They would be... 1.00
01:17:40.000 He just went like Jennifer and he would lick her pussy bad or lick her thighs and it would just gross her out. 1.00
01:17:46.000 So there was no way to translate that. 1.00
01:17:48.000 So one night she fucked... 1.00
01:17:50.000 Chip and Uncle Paul in Sudley, and she said Chip was the worst fuck, which always made me laugh. 1.00
01:17:54.000 She said Uncle Paul was probably the best of the three. 1.00
01:17:56.000 So while you're fucking her, you're in these characters. 0.99
01:17:58.000 Only that time as a goof. 1.00
01:17:59.000 She sucked Chip's dick once, too, because Chip came in one time. 1.00
01:18:04.000 Chip came in one time as a goof, and he was like, fucking Jenny called my bomb. 1.00
01:18:09.000 It was in Montreal. 0.99
01:18:10.000 He bombed at the festival, and she felt bad, so she blew Chip.
01:18:13.000 She was hilarious. 0.53
01:18:15.000 LAUGHTER And who else was there? 0.99
01:18:18.000 There was fucking, at one point... 0.99
01:18:20.000 There's one called The Gossip Kid, which I don't... 0.99
01:18:23.000 He was black, and I don't do him anymore. 1.00
01:18:25.000 He was black? 0.97
01:18:26.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:18:26.000 He was just the one that would kind of sum up all...
01:18:28.000 He almost worked like... 0.95
01:18:29.000 And it was not based on this, it was before I ever saw fucking the... 0.92
01:18:33.000 Remember Harold Perrineau when he did Oz, the guy in the wheelchair, the black guy would kind of narrate? 1.00
01:18:37.000 That's what The Gossip Kid did. 1.00
01:18:39.000 He would just narrate.
01:18:40.000 You know what I mean? 1.00
01:18:41.000 I heard Uncle Paul, you know, I heard the bitch suck Uncle Paul's dick. 1.00
01:18:43.000 It was like that. 1.00
01:18:44.000 And she made her laugh.
01:18:46.000 The Gossip Kid was one of the favorites we would do, but then our relationship ended years ago, so I don't do the Gossip Kid anymore.
01:18:52.000 But the Gossip Kid would sum the characters up.
01:18:57.000 Oh my god!
01:18:59.000 That's hilarious!
01:19:01.000 That's one I'm going to do too.
01:19:02.000 I forgot about him until recently. 0.72
01:19:03.000 I started doing him again to another friend of mine, actually, who was like, that's fucking funny.
01:19:07.000 He comes out on the radio once in a while too. 0.61
01:19:10.000 He'll just do it. 1.00
01:19:11.000 People will always hear me go, who is that bitch? 1.00
01:19:13.000 And that's that character. 0.99
01:19:15.000 But I haven't gone into great depth with it.
01:19:17.000 Jimmy, you need to do a podcast.
01:19:19.000 Just by yourself.
01:19:20.000 Just by yourself, talking to different guests.
01:19:23.000 Just you and a guest.
01:19:25.000 I don't know if it would be... 0.98
01:19:26.000 It would be fucking beautiful. 0.98
01:19:27.000 People hear me so much on the radio. 0.98
01:19:29.000 Maybe if I didn't have radio...
01:19:31.000 I hear you.
01:19:32.000 You know what I mean?
01:19:32.000 People would get bored of me.
01:19:33.000 I think that...
01:19:34.000 They wouldn't get bored of you if you had a podcast.
01:19:36.000 I guarantee you, you would reach a lot of people.
01:19:38.000 And even if you only did it once a week, wouldn't it be a bad idea to have something in the back burner? 0.95
01:19:43.000 Who the fuck knows what's going to happen with Sirius? 0.94
01:19:45.000 That's true. 0.98
01:19:45.000 I mean, they're doing well right now, but the internet is a strange thing. 0.98
01:19:48.000 The internet's going to be in cars.
01:19:50.000 It's going to happen within the next decade.
01:19:52.000 Within the next decade, it's going to be real hard to justify paying for satellite radio.
01:19:56.000 Because someone's going to figure out programs that you could do that mimic satellite radio, and they become native apps on your car.
01:20:03.000 We talked about it before.
01:20:04.000 Whether it's Pandora, or some new thing that we don't even know.
01:20:07.000 They have that Stitcher app now on a lot of Ford cars, where you can...
01:20:13.000 Download podcasts directly from the thing.
01:20:15.000 You have favorites.
01:20:16.000 You save them.
01:20:17.000 So you can have stations that you can click on.
01:20:19.000 You can go to different podcasts.
01:20:21.000 All that stuff is, you know, it's going to be hard to compete with that.
01:20:25.000 Yeah, I think you're right.
01:20:26.000 And I think even less than a decade.
01:20:27.000 I think it'll be a lot sooner than that before the cars have it.
01:20:30.000 No, they're definitely going to have it less than a decade, but I mean, like, how much more time to Sirius?
01:20:34.000 Like, I like Sirius.
01:20:35.000 I like having it.
01:20:36.000 I like switching through the channels and listening to different music, or listening to Howard, then listening to you guys, then listening to...
01:20:42.000 I listen to...
01:20:44.000 There's Ron and Fez.
01:20:45.000 Yeah, Ron and Fez, and there's a bunch of different things you can listen to.
01:20:50.000 There's a lot of different classic vinyl stations that play cool music, you know?
01:20:54.000 Ozzy's Boneyard is my favorite station anywhere.
01:20:56.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:20:57.000 There's some great...
01:20:58.000 What is it?
01:20:59.000 Lost Tracks?
01:21:00.000 What is that one?
01:21:01.000 Deep Tracks?
01:21:01.000 Deep Tracks, yeah.
01:21:02.000 Deep Tracks is like real obscure songs.
01:21:05.000 Hope he likes that one a lot, too.
01:21:06.000 It's a good one.
01:21:07.000 Yeah, I think he probably goes a little deeper in music than I do.
01:21:10.000 I don't listen to most of the music stations except Ozzy's Boneyard and occasionally Hair Nation will listen to it, or the 70s channel.
01:21:15.000 But when you really think about it...
01:21:19.000 The benefit of the internet is a bunch.
01:21:22.000 There's a bunch of different benefits.
01:21:24.000 But one of the big ones is, you can be anywhere.
01:21:26.000 You can be in a parking garage.
01:21:27.000 It's really annoying when you're listening to a good show, and then you go under a tunnel, and it stops.
01:21:31.000 Yeah.
01:21:31.000 Because your satellite connection's gone.
01:21:33.000 Yep, yep.
01:21:33.000 But with cellular connections, you can get a cellular connection way more places.
01:21:38.000 You can get a cellular connection underground.
01:21:40.000 You can get it in parking lot structures.
01:21:42.000 You can get it in a lot of different places that you can't get radio. 0.95
01:21:45.000 And also, like, I was driving on Topanga Canyon yesterday on a fucking sunny day, and the satellite was cutting out. 0.97
01:21:51.000 Oh, really? 0.98
01:21:52.000 Yeah.
01:21:52.000 Just trees.
01:21:53.000 Just the trees.
01:21:54.000 Like, there's areas of Topanga where you're driving through the canyon, and there's just this canopy of trees overhead, and it just blocks out the satellite.
01:22:01.000 Can I piss real quick? 1.00
01:22:02.000 Go piss you son of a bitch. 1.00
01:22:04.000 I'll be right back. 1.00
01:22:05.000 And let's promote Jimmy's special that is on Epix coming up real soon.
01:22:12.000 Contextually inadequate April 24th on epics and epics is the same network that was airing deep web on May 31st which is our friend Alex winter who is here yesterday or the day before yesterday and So epics is doing some fucking cool shit and Jim has already done one special on epics already so this will be his second special on epics and Everybody asks you about tonight at the Ice House is sold out. 0.94
01:22:41.000 Sorry, bitches. 1.00
01:22:43.000 And then the next gig that we have that's a big one is in New York. 0.98
01:22:47.000 That's sold out, too.
01:22:49.000 That's at the...
01:22:50.000 What is it called?
01:22:54.000 What's the name of that joint?
01:22:56.000 What is it?
01:22:58.000 The Grand Ballroom.
01:22:59.000 The Grand Ballroom in New York City.
01:23:02.000 So the next gig that I had that's available, that actually has tickets available, is the Ka Theater at MGM, and that's on the 22nd.
01:23:12.000 So that's, uh, and then we'll be doing some Ice House shows in town between now and then and definitely the Comedy Store.
01:23:18.000 And one of the things we started doing at the Comedy Store is that belly room.
01:23:20.000 Have you done the belly room at the Comedy Store?
01:23:21.000 You know, I don't think I have.
01:23:22.000 I've done the, uh, you know what, maybe I have.
01:23:24.000 What's the, what's the, uh, the one that everybody, the original room or the belly room?
01:23:27.000 The original room is the downstairs room that seats about, I guess like 150. And the main room seats, I think, all full seats 400 people.
01:23:37.000 I've never done it.
01:23:38.000 And then the belly room only seats like 80 or something like that. 0.66
01:23:41.000 It's a tiny-ass room.
01:23:42.000 Like, if you want to stuff people in there, you might get 90. And it's amazing. 0.65
01:23:46.000 I did it last night for this Jeremiah Watkins. 0.90
01:23:49.000 Young kid out here has this show that he used to do called Thunder Pussy, where it was like a podcast that he did it.
01:23:54.000 But a lot of people didn't want to do it on a podcast. 0.73
01:23:56.000 They just wanted to do it on a regular show.
01:23:58.000 So they stopped doing it as a podcast, and now maybe stopped.
01:24:01.000 I don't know if he stopped.
01:24:02.000 Yeah, but he does both.
01:24:04.000 But stand up on the spot is what they call it.
01:24:06.000 And the people yell out topics and you're forced to make jokes or make fun of them.
01:24:11.000 Oh wow, cool.
01:24:12.000 And everybody knows that's what it is.
01:24:14.000 So they know you might stumble a little bit or there might be.
01:24:17.000 Yeah, you're going to have subjects that you just don't have anything.
01:24:19.000 Oh, that's awesome.
01:24:20.000 But you're forced into that situation where you're trying to make comedy.
01:24:22.000 And I've come up with a bunch of bits because of it.
01:24:25.000 Because we've done it like three or four times now.
01:24:27.000 And you come up with like, you know, you might do 15 minutes.
01:24:29.000 You might get three minutes out of it.
01:24:31.000 We're like, wow, this has actually got potential.
01:24:33.000 Hope they're good topics. 0.84
01:24:34.000 Girl farts! 0.97
01:24:35.000 Oh! 0.99
01:24:35.000 Get out of my way! 0.99
01:24:36.000 There's a lot of that.
01:24:37.000 What's the really hard one that they throw out?
01:24:41.000 Economics.
01:24:41.000 Oh boy.
01:24:42.000 Yeah, someone yelled out space travel, you know, economics, space travel.
01:24:47.000 But you're always going to have, like, you know, they don't know.
01:24:50.000 Who knows?
01:24:50.000 You might, like, in that moment, like, someone could yell out...
01:24:54.000 Economics, and you have nothing.
01:24:56.000 Or you could be in the right frame of mind, at the right moment, and you just have this idea.
01:25:00.000 And then you just run with it on stage, and people start laughing hilariously, hysterically.
01:25:05.000 And you're like, oh, there is something in that.
01:25:07.000 I didn't even consider that.
01:25:08.000 But you're forced into this, like, you're forced to run.
01:25:12.000 You're forced to figure out how to run.
01:25:14.000 Right, right, right.
01:25:14.000 You're forced to figure out how to swim.
01:25:15.000 You're just thrown into the water.
01:25:16.000 You figure it out.
01:25:17.000 I like that.
01:25:18.000 I did one similar to that.
01:25:20.000 Paul Provenza has one.
01:25:21.000 What was his called?
01:25:22.000 Set List.
01:25:23.000 Set List.
01:25:23.000 And there was some really hard, weird things on there.
01:25:26.000 But that was kind of fun to go up there and just explore it and see where you go with it and where your mind works. 0.98
01:25:32.000 That's really fun shit to do. 0.96
01:25:33.000 Yeah, it's fun. 0.98
01:25:34.000 It's a good way to start new material, to get the beginnings of a new bit, or the idea of a new bit.
01:25:41.000 You gotta trick yourself, I think.
01:25:43.000 Ari and I were talking about this once, that if you do too many gigs, you don't live your life enough.
01:25:48.000 Absolutely right.
01:25:49.000 Sometimes you have too much gigs and not enough life.
01:25:54.000 Nothing to feed off of.
01:25:55.000 Burr was saying that same thing, actually.
01:25:57.000 Burr was saying that, you know, sometimes he needs to do things, and that's why I think he got into helicopter flying.
01:26:02.000 He actually was doing a bit on helicopter flying. 0.91
01:26:05.000 He decided, well, I'll fucking actually take some lessons. 0.88
01:26:08.000 And then in taking lessons, he actually wound up enjoying it. 0.99
01:26:11.000 Well, it's funny you say that because that's another part of me not wanting to be such a piece of shit anymore sexually because you feed on only the same thing and there's nothing new coming into my life. 0.99
01:26:21.000 There's no new input. 0.99
01:26:22.000 So there's stuff I talk about on the radio, which is topical, and then there's that.
01:26:25.000 And it's like, no, man, there's a whole life out there that you're not enjoying and living.
01:26:30.000 And again, I'm not crying the blues.
01:26:31.000 I make good money.
01:26:32.000 I have a nice apartment.
01:26:33.000 I've been very lucky in comedy, but there's so many fun things to do. 0.99
01:26:37.000 Just go out with someone somewhere without a goal of sexual whatever or just, you know, go away for the night to a little dumb town and go shopping or just do some fucking dumb shit that people do that's fun. 0.97
01:26:47.000 That's relaxing and normal and normal human beings do it. 0.99
01:26:51.000 And not be edging.
01:26:52.000 Not be edging. 0.99
01:26:52.000 It's fucking hours, dude. 0.99
01:26:54.000 I'm telling you, it fucks me up so much. 0.99
01:26:57.000 It's like this weird, uncomfortable, scared feeling I get when I'm done, too.
01:27:02.000 Like, I get very scared like I'm exposed, man.
01:27:05.000 You know what I mean?
01:27:06.000 Like, oh god, she's married. 1.00
01:27:07.000 Her fucking husband's gonna find out. 1.00
01:27:10.000 I talked that girl into jerking me off. 1.00
01:27:11.000 I gave her 500, man, but her fucking husband's gonna shoot me if he finds out. 1.00
01:27:15.000 You like that. 1.00
01:27:16.000 I do in the moment, but as soon as you come, boy, you stop liking it.
01:27:20.000 You know what I mean?
01:27:21.000 Oh god, this is fun. 0.98
01:27:22.000 I'm gonna get killed. 0.99
01:27:25.000 It's really a fucking load coming out really brings you right back to reality. 0.98
01:27:28.000 Isn't it funny though that part of being like a funny guy like the way you are is is Dependent upon like impulsive behavior and thoughts like there's something about like the actual creation of a bit like an Improv line a hilarious improv line a lot of that is like impulsive things sure Yeah, 0.97
01:27:47.000 if somebody will yell something or you just think of something and you say it even though if you thought it through you might not say it.
01:27:52.000 Yeah.
01:27:52.000 Or you tweet it, which is why guys get in trouble.
01:27:55.000 You know what I mean?
01:27:56.000 It is that you're right, that impulsive thinking.
01:27:57.000 It's the thing that makes you great is also the thing that eventually ruins you.
01:28:01.000 My favorite tweet that someone should have never done is that woman who was working for some publicity firm or something like that. 1.00
01:28:07.000 She flew to Africa.
01:28:08.000 Oh, sure.
01:28:09.000 She's like, I'm on my way to Africa.
01:28:10.000 I hope I don't get AIDS. Just kidding.
01:28:12.000 I'm white.
01:28:13.000 LOL. And then she lands, and it's a national fucking scandal. 1.00
01:28:18.000 And she lost her job. 0.99
01:28:19.000 I mean, what are the odds that anyone's going to read that tweet and decide to go after you?
01:28:25.000 You know what it is?
01:28:26.000 They were like, hey, let's get this publicist. 0.99
01:28:28.000 But what she was saying, Justine Sacco, and it was a stupid thing to say, but what she's probably saying is, hey, white people... 0.99
01:28:35.000 Sometimes it might even be a statement about... 0.99
01:28:38.000 How it's unfair that only the black guys... 1.00
01:28:40.000 I don't think she meant, like, fuck black people. 1.00
01:28:42.000 Or do you think she did? 1.00
01:28:43.000 I don't know.
01:28:43.000 No, I think she was just trying to be funny.
01:28:45.000 Maybe.
01:28:46.000 I think she just thought she was being funny. 0.99
01:28:48.000 Going to Africa, hope I don't gay, just kidding, I'm white. 1.00
01:28:51.000 I think she was just being an asshole. 1.00
01:28:54.000 I mean, I don't mean an asshole in a bad way, either. 1.00
01:28:55.000 But being funny, yeah. 0.97
01:28:56.000 Just being funny. 1.00
01:28:56.000 Yeah, being goofy and just being an asshole. 1.00
01:28:58.000 Well, that's something a comic would say. 1.00
01:29:00.000 I mean, tell me a comic wouldn't say that.
01:29:02.000 Absolutely.
01:29:03.000 A lot of comics would say that.
01:29:05.000 The thing is, like getting...
01:29:06.000 I've had a weird thing, too.
01:29:08.000 Because, you know, people get in fire for tweets, and it uprooted our radio show, obviously. 1.00
01:29:13.000 You know, it's very frustrating, and it's stupid. 0.99
01:29:15.000 But then I hear these guys who sent these tweets to Curt Schilling's daughter... 0.99
01:29:21.000 Was Curt Schilling?
01:29:22.000 The pitcher.
01:29:23.000 He was a Red Sox pitcher.
01:29:24.000 He pitched.
01:29:25.000 He had the bloody sock.
01:29:26.000 And he tweeted something about his daughter pitching at a college game. 1.00
01:29:30.000 So these anonymous, these fucking cowards, they tweet this stuff about his daughter that's really nasty. 1.00
01:29:36.000 And some of it, he said, might have been illegal because it was sexual stuff. 1.00
01:29:39.000 I don't know.
01:29:40.000 But they found out who they were and they were both fired from their jobs, or one was.
01:29:44.000 And I was happy that they got fired because I didn't like them. 1.00
01:29:47.000 But I had a real dilemma because the emotional part of me is like, good, fuck these scumbags. 1.00
01:29:52.000 And then the other part of me is, you shouldn't be firing people because they say dumb shit. 1.00
01:29:57.000 But then I'm like, okay, say you're a doctor and you tweet, I hate Jews. 1.00
01:30:01.000 Like, does the hospital not have the right to go, we don't want you working for us. 0.97
01:30:04.000 Our Jewish clientele would legitimately not feel comfortable having you operate on... 1.00
01:30:08.000 Like, I'm just kind of in a quandary about it because I don't know how to feel about any of it now.
01:30:12.000 Like, I'm such a...
01:30:13.000 I'm always like, whatever you say, you shouldn't get in trouble for. 0.95
01:30:17.000 I mean, there is a penalty to speech, but you shouldn't get fired for doing dumb jokes.
01:30:21.000 But if you work...
01:30:22.000 Say if you're working with a guy...
01:30:23.000 Like, say you're in an office, and a guy shares the office.
01:30:26.000 There's a small amount of people.
01:30:28.000 There's like three or four people in the office.
01:30:29.000 And you guys work in and out together, day in, day out.
01:30:33.000 And one of you, you find out, is sending really mean tweets to a baseball player's daughter. 1.00
01:30:39.000 Really evil, vicious shit. 1.00
01:30:41.000 For no reason. 1.00
01:30:42.000 Like, just an asshole. 1.00
01:30:43.000 Doesn't know the girl. 1.00
01:30:44.000 He's just an asshole. 1.00
01:30:45.000 Why the fuck would you want to work with that guy? 1.00
01:30:47.000 Right, that's the truth. 0.99
01:30:48.000 So why can't you fire that guy?
01:30:49.000 Because that guy is negative to the environment of the office.
01:30:53.000 And I'm happy he got fired again, emotionally.
01:30:56.000 Right.
01:30:56.000 But the part of me that contradicts that is going, yeah, but yeah, that was an obvious one.
01:31:01.000 Alright, the guy was a cunt. 0.99
01:31:02.000 But then there's the ones where people are just going for a joke. 1.00
01:31:05.000 Like that lady. 1.00
01:31:06.000 Yeah.
01:31:07.000 And then she gets fired. 0.99
01:31:08.000 So who makes the determination?
01:31:10.000 That's what drives me crazy.
01:31:12.000 I don't know how to feel about it. 1.00
01:31:13.000 I felt disloyal to my own point of view because I was like, fuck those guys. 0.99
01:31:18.000 And I'm telling on myself by saying it, but I don't know. 0.99
01:31:23.000 I just had a bit of a dilemma with this one lately.
01:31:26.000 Well, she was interviewed with, I forget what blog...
01:31:30.000 Excuse me.
01:31:31.000 I hate when I keep doing that, clearing my throat.
01:31:32.000 Me too.
01:31:33.000 I do the same thing. 1.00
01:31:34.000 I just have to defend a fucking child rape child. 1.00
01:31:37.000 No, I did not know. 1.00
01:31:38.000 I have it in there.
01:31:39.000 It's this.
01:31:39.000 Yeah, it's the coffee.
01:31:40.000 It's the butter.
01:31:41.000 It's the butter in the coffee.
01:31:43.000 And she was talking about how it essentially uprooted her entire life.
01:31:46.000 Like, she landed in Africa and didn't even realize what was going on.
01:31:50.000 Slept, you know, probably took a sleeping pill.
01:31:52.000 It's a long flight.
01:31:53.000 Sure.
01:31:53.000 Woke up, didn't even realize what she had caused, and then she had lost her job, and people hated her.
01:32:00.000 People were having conversations about her on CNN, and they were calling her a piece of shit. 1.00
01:32:04.000 It got ugly, like really ugly. 1.00
01:32:07.000 And she kind of went into hiding.
01:32:08.000 And then she got a gig somewhere else.
01:32:10.000 I don't remember where her gig is, nor would I mention it if I did know it.
01:32:15.000 She, you know, she recovered.
01:32:16.000 She recovered and got back on track, but she just made a careless joke. 1.00
01:32:20.000 She thought she was being funny. 0.98
01:32:21.000 She thought she was being silly.
01:32:22.000 And she didn't think that that many people were going to listen to it or read it. 0.62
01:32:25.000 And the intent in what she's doing is different than what those guys saying to Curt Schilling.
01:32:30.000 Exactly.
01:32:30.000 But then there's the thing where, you know, sports guys, like you said, you think they're immune.
01:32:34.000 Like, because people yell stuff all the time at sports figures. 0.99
01:32:37.000 Fucking drop dead, A-Rod! 1.00
01:32:38.000 You suck! 1.00
01:32:39.000 You fucking... 1.00
01:32:39.000 It's like... 1.00
01:32:41.000 What's the like who's to say what's right and that's where I'm kind of just whatever I don't even know what I'm saying Joe I'm just kind of no I know exactly what you're saying I think the sports guys if they're saying something that's absolutely mean and vicious and nasty and you don't want them representing your organization so if you have an organization if you have a team or if you have ESPN it makes sense to me that people are getting fired for saying mean shit But where is it? 0.68
01:33:08.000 It gets problematic when it's a difference of opinion.
01:33:11.000 And it's not necessarily a mean, insulting thing or a negative thing, but it's a philosophical difference of opinion.
01:33:19.000 You know, like sometimes people say things, and although it's not smart what they said, what they said probably shouldn't get them fired.
01:33:27.000 There's just a gray area when it comes to some of these things.
01:33:30.000 Well, if everyone was honest, I would say yeah, but they're not.
01:33:33.000 What happens is a guy like Trevor Noah does his tweets a few years ago, and then they go back, and they know their jokes, but they lie.
01:33:38.000 And they go, look at this hateful thing about Jews.
01:33:40.000 He doesn't lie. 0.75
01:33:41.000 He's anti-Semitic.
01:33:42.000 So they take things that they know are meant for jokes, and they spin them into, this was hate speech. 0.96
01:33:47.000 And it's almost like, because they're such liars, just to get a result...
01:33:51.000 That's where the confusing part comes in because if it was just jokes were left alone.
01:33:55.000 It dilutes their opinion because then, I'm not gonna listen to anything you say.
01:33:59.000 If you say that it's a joke, like you had one joke, she's ten times the woman that she used to be, so I guess she's fat now?
01:34:04.000 Yeah.
01:34:04.000 You're like, oh, he's fat shaming.
01:34:06.000 No, he's making a joke.
01:34:08.000 Yes.
01:34:08.000 Yeah, and are you saying that someone who's ten times the size they used to be isn't fat?
01:34:13.000 Because I say that's pretty fucking dishonest. 0.64
01:34:15.000 Sure, unless they weighed six pounds at one point. 0.99
01:34:17.000 This idea of fat shaming has been driving me fucking crazy. 0.98
01:34:21.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:34:21.000 Like, it's not... 0.98
01:34:22.000 I like the fanny pack, by the way.
01:34:23.000 Thank you very much.
01:34:24.000 Louis wanted to spit in my face this morning when he saw it.
01:34:27.000 Dare he?
01:34:28.000 I know.
01:34:28.000 He said, you have a fanny pack?
01:34:29.000 I have one for you if you want one.
01:34:31.000 I think you get one.
01:34:32.000 I have one of yours, too.
01:34:32.000 Yeah.
01:34:33.000 Nice.
01:34:33.000 I like a good fanny pack.
01:34:34.000 Nice.
01:34:35.000 I do as well.
01:34:35.000 Empty pockets.
01:34:36.000 I got all excited about the fanny pack.
01:34:38.000 You were talking about fat shaming.
01:34:39.000 Yeah, I mean, look, man.
01:34:40.000 It's not cool to be mean to people.
01:34:43.000 It's not cool to, like, point someone out and be mean to them.
01:34:46.000 But...
01:34:47.000 It's not smart to just let it go either.
01:34:50.000 It's not smart to just not ever talk about someone's weight.
01:34:54.000 Like, if you care about someone, you should probably bring up the fact that they're morbidly obese.
01:34:59.000 If you can bring it up and have them realize that there's other options out there and they change their habits, that's not...
01:35:06.000 That's not necessarily fat shaming.
01:35:08.000 If we're all ignoring fat people, we're ignoring people that have eating problems, we're gonna ignore like a serious health problem.
01:35:16.000 That's as much of an addiction as what you were talking about about sex.
01:35:20.000 Sure.
01:35:21.000 It's the same sort of thing. 0.96
01:35:22.000 They get in their head, they get sweaty thinking about ringdings and ho-hos and cakes and burgers and just a fucking sheer joy of gluttony and giving into it. 0.90
01:35:32.000 Yeah, ringdings are fucking awesome though, I gotta be honest. 0.64
01:35:34.000 I have friends that have food addictions, and I've been around them when they satisfy those addictions. 0.96
01:35:38.000 It's like you're watching lions eat.
01:35:40.000 It's the hardest of all of them, food. 1.00
01:35:42.000 It's fucking brutal, man. 0.99
01:35:43.000 You gotta eat. 1.00
01:35:44.000 You have to eat.
01:35:45.000 Right, exactly. 0.98
01:35:46.000 You don't have to go to hookers. 1.00
01:35:48.000 Well, you know, some of us do, Joe. 0.65
01:35:50.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00
01:35:52.000 You'll live if you don't get a hooker. 1.00
01:35:54.000 You won't live if you don't eat. 1.00
01:35:55.000 You have to eat.
01:35:57.000 So they're constantly dancing in and out of this world that they're addicted to.
01:36:02.000 Very hard.
01:36:03.000 It's like you can't not do it.
01:36:04.000 Well, I'm eating healthy.
01:36:06.000 I dated this gal once back in the day who had a bit of a weight problem. 1.00
01:36:09.000 And she and I had a discussion about it once where I was like, I think that you put so much emphasis on this issue.
01:36:19.000 And it was a very minor weight problem.
01:36:21.000 Well, she wasn't... 1.00
01:36:23.000 Morbidly obese by anyone's definition But she did like would gain like a little 10 pounds here a little 20 right there and it bothered her and What bothered her was that it would obsess her all day and she would talk about what she ate I had a fat-free muffin I had a this and I had a that and it became like almost this on Like this this battle that she could never win She was on this crazy yo-yo they could she just she knew that she wasn't supposed to have the ice cream So she had to eat the ice cream,
01:36:49.000 you know it and then whoa The way she fixed it is yoga. 0.91
01:36:54.000 She started doing yoga.
01:36:56.000 And yoga, somehow or another, balanced her brain out.
01:37:00.000 And the effort of doing the yoga boosted her metabolism.
01:37:05.000 And she started eating really healthy because she got more conscious of her body.
01:37:10.000 Instead of just, like, she had to always exercise, she was always, like, pretty fit, but she just would do, like, running or lift a little weights or something like this, but this got her into doing yoga, and then she became, like, really obsessed with eating healthy foods and taking care of her body,
01:37:25.000 and, you know, then she turned out great.
01:37:28.000 That's great.
01:37:29.000 Yeah, she figured it out, which is cool when someone figures it out, but it was bizarre being, you know, I've been next to friends, like, guy friends that have it, But they just go in hog wild and gluttony.
01:37:41.000 But girls don't do that. 1.00
01:37:42.000 They kind of dance around it.
01:37:43.000 So their food addiction is even weirder because, like, my friends that have food addictions, they'll indulge right in front of me.
01:37:49.000 You know, like, let's go, you guys want to go to, you know, fill in the blank.
01:37:52.000 Let's go get some spaghetti and meatballs. 1.00
01:37:54.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00
01:37:55.000 And they sit down and, yeah! 1.00
01:37:56.000 And you see him indulging, like, oh, this is fucking tremendous. 0.97
01:37:59.000 And you know they shouldn't be eating this, but they're eating it anyway. 0.99
01:38:02.000 And it's hard to say something, like, you don't want to be the wet nurse. 0.99
01:38:05.000 But then it's like, you know, I'm 46 and my friends are in their 40s.
01:38:08.000 It's like, you can drop dead at this point.
01:38:10.000 Oh, yeah. 0.65
01:38:10.000 Oh, yeah. 0.65
01:38:11.000 You certainly can.
01:38:12.000 And have.
01:38:13.000 You know, like, Artie worried me when he was in here.
01:38:16.000 I was like, Jesus Christ.
01:38:17.000 And I was telling him about healthy foods and, you know, he's got the pill thing, too, the heroin thing, too. 0.99
01:38:22.000 And it's like, goddamn, dude, you're putting a lot of pressure on your heart. 0.97
01:38:26.000 How long ago did How long did you have him? 0.99
01:38:27.000 Not long ago.
01:38:28.000 Okay, because he looks like he's lost a few pounds actually.
01:38:30.000 I saw him recently.
01:38:31.000 Yeah, we did a gig in Florida and I was like, he looks a little thinner.
01:38:34.000 I'm like, you're making an effort. 1.00
01:38:35.000 He's a funny fuck. 1.00
01:38:36.000 Yeah, he's really funny. 1.00
01:38:36.000 He's fucking funny. 1.00
01:38:37.000 He was so funny on the podcast talking about sports gambling, which he's got a thing for just as bad as you ever think for sex. 0.99
01:38:44.000 Oh, really? 0.99
01:38:45.000 He fucking loves gambling. 1.00
01:38:47.000 He loves gambling and it's that same thing. 1.00
01:38:49.000 It's that that impulsive shit that comics tend to get. 0.99
01:38:53.000 There's like a lot of us get like we have real addiction problems. 0.99
01:38:57.000 They're really funny ones.
01:38:58.000 Like for whatever reason like I know a lot of guys that have either a sexual addiction or some sort of drug addiction or a gambling addiction or some sort of addiction.
01:39:07.000 Like it's a real common thing.
01:39:09.000 I know guys that have relationship addictions.
01:39:12.000 Where their addiction is to be constantly in conflict in their relationships, and they never straighten it out.
01:39:18.000 And they're always scared to be alone, and they're scared to lose a gal, and then they fight like cats and dogs, and they always, I gotta get away from her.
01:39:26.000 And then they never do.
01:39:28.000 But what you're doing is the same sort of crazy thing that a food person does.
01:39:34.000 Right.
01:39:34.000 Where you just back and forth and back and forth, and that conflict becomes like what you were talking about with the sex, where you never see yourself.
01:39:41.000 You never see life.
01:39:42.000 You're looking at it, like you said, through a window.
01:39:45.000 You're never right there.
01:39:46.000 You're never totally present.
01:39:47.000 You're always involved in this inner battle.
01:39:49.000 And that inner battle could be gambling.
01:39:51.000 It could be beating off. 0.99
01:39:53.000 It could be going to hookers. 1.00
01:39:54.000 It could be doing drugs.
01:39:55.000 It could be drinking.
01:39:56.000 Whatever you're trying to not do becomes your thing.
01:39:58.000 It could be food.
01:39:59.000 Whatever you're trying to not do becomes this wrestling match that you're constantly engaged in all day.
01:40:06.000 I've had a bunch of them.
01:40:07.000 I've had a bunch of them.
01:40:09.000 Various games.
01:40:11.000 I've had a bunch of them with video games.
01:40:12.000 Oh, yeah.
01:40:13.000 With playing pool.
01:40:15.000 Like, real bad, man.
01:40:16.000 With video games, it was real bad.
01:40:18.000 I would be sitting there talking to somebody, and I'd be like, this is so much more boring than playing a video game.
01:40:23.000 I want to go play a video game right now.
01:40:25.000 And I just wanted to get away and go play a video game.
01:40:27.000 And I would just go into my office and shut the door and just...
01:40:30.000 Like, finally.
01:40:32.000 Put the headphones on and then I would play.
01:40:33.000 And then I realized, like, wow, this is like...
01:40:35.000 I'm an addict here. 1.00
01:40:38.000 I'm doing addict shit. 1.00
01:40:38.000 How long would you play for? 1.00
01:40:39.000 Like, what's the long period of time?
01:40:40.000 Eight, ten hours.
01:40:41.000 Wow, really?
01:40:41.000 Yeah, twelve sometimes.
01:40:43.000 I would do twelve.
01:40:44.000 I would do like six at night to six in the morning, easy.
01:40:47.000 Like, fueled with caffeine.
01:40:50.000 Almost feeling like I had a heart attack.
01:40:52.000 I used to buy these sodas.
01:40:54.000 I forget the company that made them.
01:40:57.000 They were really cool.
01:40:58.000 And some of them were blue, some of them had jalapeno in them, some of them had extreme amounts of caffeine in them, and guarana, and they had skulls and all these different weird, artsy labels.
01:41:10.000 And there was this supermarket in North Hollywood that used to sell them down the street from my apartment. 0.98
01:41:14.000 And I would go and I would buy them by the fucking crate. 0.98
01:41:17.000 I would buy like everything they had when they would get new shipments in. 0.99
01:41:21.000 I even contacted the people that made the soft drink. 0.99
01:41:24.000 They had a warehouse in the factory and I said, can I come to your warehouse and just buy some cases of your shit? 0.95
01:41:29.000 And it had like all sorts of different hot peppers in it and crazy, but it was super caffeinated and I would drink this stuff and just play video games just all night. 0.94
01:41:39.000 How long did you do that for? 1.00
01:41:40.000 That's the shit. 0.99
01:41:40.000 No, that's not it actually. 0.99
01:41:42.000 Green apple jalapeno soda.
01:41:44.000 It looked a little bit like the stuff in the upper left hand. 0.82
01:41:47.000 There was a bunch of different ones, but they had like skulls and all kinds of weird shit all over the labels.
01:41:54.000 How many years ago is this? 0.55
01:41:56.000 This is in the 90s.
01:41:57.000 And how long did you do it for?
01:41:59.000 I think I quit video games altogether around 2000. I think I realized...
01:42:05.000 I started playing like every now and again in like the early 2000s.
01:42:09.000 I would play like a little every here and then.
01:42:10.000 But I didn't take...
01:42:12.000 I never got into it seriously again.
01:42:13.000 And then I completely stopped playing them around 2002, 2003. Do you look at the graphics now and go like...
01:42:18.000 Yeah, I get scared.
01:42:19.000 Yeah, it's tough.
01:42:21.000 Here's the thing about it. 0.98
01:42:22.000 If you're a gamer and you're like, what the fuck's wrong with you? 0.97
01:42:24.000 You know, you play, you do a lot. 0.98
01:42:26.000 You're right.
01:42:26.000 There's nothing wrong with playing video games.
01:42:28.000 They're fun as hell.
01:42:29.000 Yeah.
01:42:29.000 The problem is, if you have some other stuff that you want to do in your life, you got to know, like, what you, like, if I get addicted to jujitsu, here's a perfect example.
01:42:39.000 I can't do jujitsu but an hour and a half a day.
01:42:41.000 You get exhausted.
01:42:43.000 Like, your body just can't keep up.
01:42:44.000 You can't keep doing it.
01:42:46.000 There's only a certain amount of hours in a day that you can roll. 0.99
01:42:49.000 Because you're straining your fucking cardio, and you're trying to survive, and you're trying to kill, and you're fucking constantly moving, and you're constantly trying to better your position and defend, and after a while you're done. 0.99
01:43:03.000 You're done. 0.99
01:43:05.000 It's not like that with video games. 0.98
01:43:06.000 With video games, if you're addicted to it, you fucking can play eight, ten hours a day. 0.84
01:43:11.000 It's not a problem. 0.93
01:43:12.000 If you get the right caffeine in you, and you've got the right kind of addictive game, especially if you have friends, and you're playing together.
01:43:19.000 We used to play LAN parties.
01:43:21.000 We used to get there and link all of our computers together.
01:43:23.000 Oh my god.
01:43:24.000 We'd be up for days.
01:43:26.000 I would go to Houston and have gigs in Houston.
01:43:28.000 A lot of the guys would be from Houston.
01:43:30.000 We'd meet in Houston and we'd link up our computers together. 0.98
01:43:34.000 And we would play for fucking hours and hours and hours. 0.97
01:43:39.000 And we'd come day after day. 0.99
01:43:40.000 We'd have like a two or three day thing where we'd all get together.
01:43:44.000 Just burn out.
01:43:45.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:43:45.000 Junk food, chips, Mountain Dew, whatever the fuck kind of caffeine you can get into your system. 0.99
01:43:50.000 It's just too fun. 0.99
01:43:52.000 It's a really fun thing to do.
01:43:54.000 Yeah, but I played Asteroids when I was a kid.
01:43:56.000 I was very addicted.
01:43:57.000 But I'm of that ilk, so I never got into them as an adult.
01:44:01.000 Yeah, well, I think they can... 0.62
01:44:03.000 Get there, but as a form of entertainment, they're fucking awesome, and even better today than ever before.
01:44:08.000 You know, it's funny, because I was in one of the Grand Theft Autos, I had like a little line or whatever, and I tried playing it. 0.99
01:44:14.000 Laszlo, this guy Laszlo came in to Opie and Anthony, and I kept, I played it at home once, I backed into the fence six times and said, fuck this. 0.99
01:44:22.000 I am such an uncoordinated twat that I just couldn't make it work. 0.98
01:44:26.000 I literally look back on that, and I go, thank God you backed out of the fence, because I know that it would have been fun.
01:44:33.000 Well, once you figure out how to use the controllers in a video game, and really they become like a part of the way you move, like with Quake, every guy had like a script that he would run, that he would load up, like a profile script for the speed of your mouse, for the shape of your character,
01:44:48.000 for your name, and you can upload it, like you could have it as a text file on your computer, and you upload it into the game, And then like that would be like your speed of your mouse.
01:44:58.000 Some people like the mouse to move really fast.
01:45:00.000 Some people like the mouse to move really slow.
01:45:02.000 Some people like an extended view.
01:45:04.000 Like your POV could change.
01:45:06.000 Like your POV could be either 90 or 120. Some guys would spread it out and give you like a fisheye lens and allow you to see more shit on your screen. 0.98
01:45:14.000 And some guys liked that and some guys didn't.
01:45:16.000 But it was this thing that it became like really specific so that you got super used to the amount of movement that you would do with your fingers And how that would calculate into movement on screen, and your brain synced up to it.
01:45:28.000 So then you didn't even think about moving your fingers.
01:45:31.000 It just automatically happened.
01:45:32.000 And when you're playing 8-10 hours a day, day after day after day, it really becomes part of second nature.
01:45:38.000 Anthony's a big gamer, and he would always play on the computer.
01:45:41.000 He preferred that to Joyce.
01:45:42.000 And I never could understand playing on the computer.
01:45:44.000 Left, right, this key, this key, this key.
01:45:46.000 I couldn't get it.
01:45:47.000 Well, the reason is, when you use a mouse, a mouse and a keyboard is the most accurate form of controller for video games so far.
01:45:55.000 You can get a lot done with one of those Xbox controllers, but you're never going to get the type of pinpoint accuracy in a first-person shooter, especially.
01:46:03.000 Oh, right.
01:46:04.000 That you can with a mouse.
01:46:05.000 With a mouse, you can turn around and, like, look at a guy.
01:46:08.000 Like, there's certain guys that would play.
01:46:10.000 Like, there's this kid.
01:46:11.000 He used to call him Fatality.
01:46:13.000 He used to call himself Fatality.
01:46:14.000 And the I in Fatality was, like, number one.
01:46:17.000 And he was, like, a world champion Quake player.
01:46:20.000 And when you would watch him play, he would make these split-second turns and shoot guys in the face that were falling off of buildings.
01:46:28.000 Like, guys would, like, be jumping off of buildings.
01:46:31.000 And he would spin.
01:46:32.000 And in midair, they would explode.
01:46:34.000 And he just had this this super tight Tuned-in sense of what the cursor was doing on the screen as he was moving And if you watch some of the really high-level Quake guys when they would play in what these things are called They're called demos and they can make a demo and then they could upload the demo and you could watch a match take place from their point of view right and you could see how How well they move in the game and it was just like my god like when you get to the really high levels of the game it's insanely adrenaline filled
01:47:04.000 because you're going down dark corridors people are shooting at you you're shooting at them your health is deteriorating before your eyes you're running to try to get more health you're running to try to get armor and new weapons and you're trying to control the map and waiting for the new weapon to respawn you got to get to this area within five seconds you have to time it all out in your head you have to know the map inside and out It becomes insanely addictive.
01:47:27.000 And the rush, the actual rush that you would get from these games is incredible.
01:47:32.000 I mean, it's just adrenaline pumping, heart beating, three-dimensional graphics, sound.
01:47:38.000 You have headphones on, so you hear three-dimensional sound.
01:47:41.000 Like, if you hear something to the right, that means someone is to your right.
01:47:44.000 Like, they are actually to your right in the game.
01:47:46.000 You run towards them, and there's these corridors.
01:47:50.000 It's amazing.
01:47:51.000 It's an amazing game.
01:47:52.000 And that's just one of them. 1.00
01:47:53.000 Backing into the fence and saying, fuck it, I can't do it. 1.00
01:47:57.000 Well, it's probably good for you because I lost years of my life playing those games. 1.00
01:48:01.000 I mean, I enjoyed it.
01:48:02.000 I enjoyed it, but I guarantee I lost years of my life.
01:48:05.000 It also coincided with a time where I wasn't writing many jokes.
01:48:09.000 Coincidentally.
01:48:09.000 Oh, right, right.
01:48:10.000 Yeah, sometimes if something becomes obsessive, there's a balance.
01:48:13.000 I want to have more fun stuff in my life that I do that's healthy and normal.
01:48:17.000 But, you know, I don't want to get addicted to anything else.
01:48:19.000 I don't want to put down one addiction.
01:48:20.000 And I hope I can just stay away from this one for a while.
01:48:22.000 I've been keeping a running tally.
01:48:24.000 It's the first time I ever did that.
01:48:26.000 A running tally financially.
01:48:29.000 Really?
01:48:29.000 Yes.
01:48:30.000 Of how much you're spending on that stuff?
01:48:32.000 It's quite a bit, huh?
01:48:34.000 It's not, I mean, it's not, you know, I put it this way, in a year have I spent more than Charlie Sheen?
01:48:38.000 Sure.
01:48:39.000 I mean, that one year that he talked $50,000 in a year, I was like, ugh.
01:48:42.000 That's nothing?
01:48:43.000 I wouldn't say it's nothing, but I've done more and I don't make Charlie Sheen money.
01:48:47.000 Wow.
01:48:48.000 Not every year and not up to this point this year.
01:48:51.000 Well, if you can replace it with something...
01:48:54.000 Isn't that what your mom used to tell you?
01:48:55.000 A message that your mom left you?
01:48:58.000 Dr. Phil said, you can go to the gym.
01:49:01.000 And that was in 2003. I put that on my second CD. Mother made a very good point.
01:49:06.000 She said, just go to the gym. 1.00
01:49:07.000 You can meet nice girls.
01:49:09.000 Instead of seeing the ladies of the evening, get in shape.
01:49:11.000 And she was right.
01:49:12.000 I did do that.
01:49:13.000 She called it ladies of the evening, too, right?
01:49:15.000 I don't know.
01:49:16.000 I forget what it was called.
01:49:17.000 It's...
01:49:19.000 Yeah, I don't remember what she called it.
01:49:20.000 I might even have it on my phone.
01:49:21.000 But if you picked up a game, like, I hate to say it, but even golf.
01:49:26.000 Like, golf becomes very addictive.
01:49:27.000 Sure.
01:49:28.000 It takes a lot of time, and guys do it for, like, long hours in the day.
01:49:32.000 But it's also fun.
01:49:33.000 You go with your buddies.
01:49:34.000 You go with Voss.
01:49:35.000 He could annoy you all day.
01:49:36.000 Yeah.
01:49:37.000 And you go and knock. 0.99
01:49:37.000 I mean, Voss plays basically every fucking day, right? 0.99
01:49:40.000 But I don't sleep well enough to pull it off, either. 0.98
01:49:41.000 My sleep's a big issue.
01:49:43.000 And I feel like this is why I get so frustrated and angry and just self-hating, because...
01:49:48.000 I try to do the right thing.
01:49:49.000 Like, I'll put the mask on.
01:49:51.000 Big boy went, got his test.
01:49:52.000 I went to three apnea tests.
01:49:54.000 Still can't do it.
01:49:56.000 Claustrophobic. 0.99
01:49:56.000 I fucking finally fall asleep. 0.99
01:49:59.000 And then I hear... 0.98
01:50:02.000 And I realize that the air is blowing out the side of the mask.
01:50:05.000 It's like everything, nothing syncs up right despite my best efforts.
01:50:09.000 And it's almost like you're always taught if you do the right thing, the right thing. 0.99
01:50:11.000 I've done all the legwork and I'm still getting fucking dogshit results and it makes me nuts. 0.99
01:50:16.000 It makes me so, I want to smash my face through a fucking window because I've done the right stuff and I still can't fall asleep. 0.99
01:50:23.000 And your sleep, maybe someone listening to this can shed some light or help you out in some sort of a way. 0.98
01:50:28.000 Probably not, though, because I bet you've talked about this on the radio enough times where someone has explored all the options with you.
01:50:33.000 Yeah, I have something called complex apnea.
01:50:36.000 It's central apnea, and it's obstructive.
01:50:39.000 Like, I was falling asleep on the plane. 0.99
01:50:40.000 I flew out here today, and it felt like someone just fucking put a sock in my mouth. 0.99
01:50:44.000 It was like... 1.00
01:50:46.000 It was like my fucking dumb tongue lolled back over my throat. 0.99
01:50:50.000 But if it's not that, because I have a mouth guard I use, not the one you use, but I have one that does hold my jaw forward, then it's the central apnea. 0.99
01:50:57.000 When my tongue's not blocking things, my brain just goes, don't breathe.
01:51:00.000 And I don't breathe.
01:51:01.000 So the ASV machine I have, which I've tried CPAP and APAP and BiPAP and all that shit, ASV is the combination that's supposed to work with complex apnea. 0.84
01:51:10.000 It's a very, very intuitive machine.
01:51:12.000 Like it really picks up your breathing and it works with you.
01:51:15.000 Even that I can't sleep with. 1.00
01:51:17.000 Goddamn. 1.00
01:51:18.000 It stinks. 1.00
01:51:18.000 So when you put that thing on, you just can't get a good night's sleep at all? 1.00
01:51:22.000 No.
01:51:22.000 No, because I get claustrophobic.
01:51:24.000 Because the mask is on your face?
01:51:26.000 Yeah, it drives me nuts.
01:51:26.000 I'm stuffy, my douchey nose is stuffy.
01:51:29.000 Fucking Jimmy Norton's cunt nose is stuffy. 1.00
01:51:32.000 It makes me so frustrated. 1.00
01:51:33.000 And you think that the nose thing has something to do with allergies?
01:51:35.000 Yeah, big thing.
01:51:36.000 Big thing.
01:51:37.000 I mean, you know, I think so.
01:51:40.000 Are we all crazy? 0.95
01:51:41.000 Are all comics crazy? 0.88
01:51:42.000 Yeah, but I mean, like, literally...
01:51:45.000 Yeah.
01:51:45.000 I'm not getting the air in there.
01:51:47.000 Physically, it's the truth, you know.
01:51:48.000 Yes, I think those things are both true.
01:51:50.000 I think we are all nuts, and I do think that I just can't breathe well.
01:51:53.000 Do you monitor your diet to keep your diet free of things that cause inflammation or anything?
01:51:59.000 Probably.
01:52:00.000 You know what's funny?
01:52:00.000 I have a feeling that certain things do it, like wheat probably does it to me.
01:52:04.000 I know when I eat sushi, I'm a throat-clearing jerk-off.
01:52:08.000 When I eat things like, you know, even the fat, anything milk-oriented bothers me.
01:52:13.000 So certain foods I can avoid And that makes it easier.
01:52:16.000 I use a Breathe Right strip.
01:52:18.000 Does that help?
01:52:19.000 Yeah, a little bit.
01:52:20.000 I mean, that and plus the mouth guard.
01:52:22.000 The one you got, I want to try to get, but because I have central apnea too, it won't fix it.
01:52:27.000 But the mouth guard has changed my life a little bit because it does keep my throat open.
01:52:31.000 So a lot of times, I am probably choking far less often than I would be normally.
01:52:39.000 So it's helped me a lot.
01:52:42.000 I just talked about this on the radio the other day with Opie.
01:52:44.000 One of the reasons, when Opie and Anthony had their fight recently, and they're actually cool.
01:52:48.000 I missed that fight.
01:52:49.000 I heard Opie talking about it.
01:52:52.000 No, you know what?
01:52:52.000 I heard you talking about Opie crying on the radio talking about it, but I missed the whole thing.
01:52:57.000 Yeah, Anthony had said some shit about Opie, and then Opie had responded. 0.96
01:53:02.000 From what? 0.96
01:53:03.000 What did they say?
01:53:05.000 What the hell did Ann say?
01:53:06.000 He was just talking about how it was difficult to work with him all these years and the stuff with his girlfriend.
01:53:09.000 He went through a history of why there's bad blood.
01:53:11.000 It just got to the point where I could tell on Twitter that those guys were gonna go.
01:53:17.000 I could sense it.
01:53:19.000 And I never said to Ann, are you gonna badmouth Opie?
01:53:21.000 I never said to Opie, what are you feeling?
01:53:22.000 But I could see through their tweets that some things that either one of them were saying were being misinterpreted.
01:53:27.000 It was just gonna happen.
01:53:29.000 So, Ant, you know, Opie said a few things on Twitter or on the show that Ant, I think, misinterpreted or even interpreted right and got mad.
01:53:37.000 A combination of both.
01:53:38.000 So, whatever. 0.99
01:53:39.000 They're fucking snipping at each other. 0.99
01:53:41.000 And then when Opie went back at him the next day, like after Ant really said some stuff on the compound show, Opie came back and he was pissed off. 0.98
01:53:48.000 And I was in a weird position only because I'm like, I'm not going to sit here and just play devil's advocate for Anthony because Ant needs to do that.
01:53:54.000 Like, they need to do that together.
01:53:56.000 And it almost seemed unfair for me to just sit there and now argue with Opie like I'm Anthony's mouthpiece.
01:54:01.000 Right.
01:54:01.000 But you know what I mean?
01:54:02.000 And so I even said I didn't want to do that.
01:54:03.000 There was a couple of points I clarified, things that I thought Ant had made a valid point about.
01:54:07.000 But I wasn't going to just sit there and argue with Opie. 1.00
01:54:09.000 Like, let him and Ant fucking do that shit. 1.00
01:54:11.000 Like, I'm not that codependent. 1.00
01:54:13.000 It's like, let them fuck it. 1.00
01:54:14.000 But it was legit. 1.00
01:54:16.000 People thought it might have been manipulated, but I watched it happen, and nobody wants to do that shit. 1.00
01:54:22.000 That's embarrassing shit, especially a fucking audience like that. 1.00
01:54:25.000 Nobody wants to... 1.00
01:54:26.000 Sob on the air. 0.99
01:54:27.000 It's fucking awful. 1.00
01:54:28.000 Did he sob? 1.00
01:54:30.000 It wasn't...
01:54:31.000 It was a little bit...
01:54:33.000 If I only had a heart.
01:54:35.000 It wasn't that bad, but he kind of caught himself, and he didn't want to...
01:54:40.000 It was like a little bit, but he just, you know, he was over remembering nice stuff. 0.99
01:54:44.000 He was remembering nice shit. 0.98
01:54:46.000 And I forget what I was going to, what was I saying? 0.99
01:54:48.000 I was just talking about something.
01:54:49.000 Why did I go down this road?
01:54:50.000 Um, I don't remember either. 0.97
01:54:51.000 I was talking about my breathing and about my fucking, why did I go down this road? 0.92
01:54:55.000 You're talking about Opie badmouthing them, that they fought back and forth? 0.98
01:55:01.000 No, but there was a reason I went down that road that made me think of those guys.
01:55:05.000 And I don't remember what it was.
01:55:07.000 Hmm.
01:55:08.000 Are there people listening online?
01:55:09.000 Does anybody know?
01:55:10.000 I legitimately just lost my place.
01:55:12.000 Someone will say it right now on Twitter.
01:55:15.000 Yeah, like what was I saying that made me...
01:55:16.000 Because there was a reason I went down the road about them fighting about something that got talked about.
01:55:21.000 It was something I said after or something I thought of that one of them said.
01:55:26.000 I don't know. 0.99
01:55:27.000 God damn it. 0.99
01:55:29.000 I don't know what it was. 1.00
01:55:31.000 Me going down that road was spawned by thinking of something else. 1.00
01:55:36.000 Motherfucker. 1.00
01:55:36.000 God damn it. 1.00
01:55:38.000 I'm not saying... 0.99
01:55:38.000 I'm waiting for someone to put it up. 0.99
01:55:39.000 I am too.
01:55:40.000 Maybe there's a one minute...
01:55:41.000 Oh, I'm looking at Chip's tweets. 0.97
01:55:43.000 No wonder I'm not getting any fucking real information. 0.93
01:55:45.000 Chip's that mentions. 0.91
01:55:46.000 You have...
01:55:47.000 Chip is a separate character that you tweet through?
01:55:50.000 Him and Edgar both have their own Twitter, of course.
01:55:54.000 This way he's saying it to me, of course.
01:55:55.000 Chip has 44,000 followers.
01:56:00.000 Chip is a, you know, yeah, he's a force.
01:56:03.000 Let me see here.
01:56:05.000 Now on Jim Norton's, let's see how many.
01:56:07.000 I'm trying to see if anybody's mad.
01:56:08.000 I apologize for stalling like this.
01:56:10.000 That's hilarious.
01:56:11.000 I didn't mean to go down that road.
01:56:13.000 Someone will find it.
01:56:14.000 We're going to get corrected online.
01:56:15.000 But I want to know because there was a point I was making.
01:56:17.000 You're talking about the mask?
01:56:18.000 Yeah.
01:56:19.000 You said you spoke about the mask on the show.
01:56:20.000 You're talking about it on the show?
01:56:21.000 No, but I don't know.
01:56:22.000 I wouldn't have went down the Opie and Anthony thing.
01:56:25.000 There was something I was thinking of and I literally just lost my place.
01:56:29.000 That's how tired I am.
01:56:30.000 I don't know.
01:56:30.000 You know, let me tell you something.
01:56:31.000 Maybe it'll help you. 0.99
01:56:34.000 You know, what I really liked is that fucking thing that you wrote about Trevor Noah. 0.99
01:56:40.000 Oh, thank you. 0.99
01:56:41.000 That thing you wrote for Time Magazine?
01:56:42.000 Thank you.
01:56:43.000 That was really smart.
01:56:44.000 Thanks, Joe.
01:56:45.000 And really appropriate.
01:56:46.000 And exactly, you were exactly right.
01:56:49.000 The outrage was manufactured.
01:56:52.000 It's recreational outrage. 0.99
01:56:54.000 They found something, a green light to be a dick about, and they decided to be a dick about it. 0.98
01:56:59.000 And you wrote a really well-thought-out piece about that. 0.97
01:57:02.000 Thank you.
01:57:03.000 Yeah, it was just the...
01:57:04.000 Trevor Noah isn't the problem.
01:57:05.000 You are.
01:57:06.000 It's kind of hard sometimes.
01:57:07.000 The good thing about writing is you have a time to edit and you can get your thoughts in a row.
01:57:12.000 Instead of just reacting angrily...
01:57:14.000 You know, like you've had a flood of thoughts come.
01:57:16.000 Norman Lear explained this best.
01:57:18.000 Like, when you have a bunch of thoughts and you just...
01:57:20.000 You want to get them all out?
01:57:21.000 There's been certain things I wanted to write about, but I couldn't because you get blocked by the frustration.
01:57:25.000 What do I want to say?
01:57:27.000 And Norman Lear said, his therapist said to him years ago, picture it like a room that's on fire.
01:57:32.000 Did we talk about this?
01:57:32.000 He said, when everybody rushes for the door, they get stuck.
01:57:36.000 But if everybody walks out of the room one at a time, everyone gets out, and then you can section them off into people by height and people by color and couple them off.
01:57:45.000 That's the way it is with thoughts.
01:57:47.000 So it's almost like all this frustration.
01:57:49.000 I'll just talk it into this thing.
01:57:51.000 Just get it the fuck out one at a time, one at a time, and then formulate it. 0.58
01:57:56.000 Because something like that where you have so many feelings about it... 0.96
01:58:00.000 We try hard not to be self-righteous as comedians.
01:58:03.000 You really try just to make your thoughts known.
01:58:05.000 We all fall into it once in a while.
01:58:07.000 Every person does.
01:58:08.000 But it's hard. 0.98
01:58:09.000 You don't want to because that's a dick quality. 0.96
01:58:12.000 Yeah, well, there's a balancing act where you're creating something. 0.96
01:58:15.000 It's like, what tone am I trying to set here?
01:58:18.000 What's the best way to get this thought out where it's got the most impact?
01:58:22.000 How do I really feel about it versus what's the most entertaining version of it that I could say?
01:58:29.000 You know, how much did I twist it just for humor? 0.93
01:58:32.000 How much did I fuck around with it? 0.97
01:58:34.000 And that's the beautiful thing about stand-up is that it's all coming from your direction. 0.98
01:58:39.000 You can decide where to take it and tweak it.
01:58:42.000 And so you're going to have those little battles in your head about where to take things.
01:58:46.000 Yeah, I mean, I always write stuff.
01:58:49.000 It's funny.
01:58:49.000 This is why fans are great.
01:58:51.000 Because I wrote that piece and people get mad at me.
01:58:53.000 Why didn't you write one about Ant?
01:58:56.000 First of all, I've talked about him on stage and he's on my special.
01:58:59.000 Second of all, they didn't ask me to.
01:59:00.000 I don't call them and ask.
01:59:01.000 They just ask me.
01:59:03.000 I've turned them down for things I didn't think I was qualified to write about.
01:59:06.000 I was like, no, I'm not going to address that.
01:59:07.000 So how does that go?
01:59:08.000 They say, would you like to write something about Trevor Noah?
01:59:11.000 Do you have a relationship with them when they do that?
01:59:12.000 Yeah, they'll write to me and say, would you write...
01:59:15.000 Something about Trevor or they've written me when Robin died like would you like to write something?
01:59:19.000 I'm like yeah But they asked me about Joan Rivers.
01:59:21.000 I said no only because I loved her But I wasn't I just felt like so many people gonna be eulogizing let people who are better qualified to do it because I really didn't know her So if Joan Rivers was like Patrice you would have written something Of course, if they asked me to.
01:59:34.000 But again, it was only like I didn't know her well enough, and I would have been talking about her, but not from a knowledgeable point of view as someone who interacted with Joan a lot.
01:59:43.000 I was a huge fan.
01:59:44.000 I was bummed out that I never got to meet her.
01:59:47.000 I really wish I got to meet her.
01:59:49.000 I was supposed to do a In Bed with Joan, I think they called it.
01:59:52.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:59:53.000 It was a podcast that you climb in bed with her and, you know, she would interview you from bed.
01:59:58.000 And, you know, you just laugh around, joke around with her.
02:00:00.000 I would have loved to have done it.
02:00:01.000 But for whatever reason, scheduling-wise, it had to be moved around.
02:00:06.000 And then, obviously, she died.
02:00:08.000 But it was quite a while after that.
02:00:10.000 First time I met Joan Rivers, I was on a flight coming from...
02:00:12.000 I mean, I loved her.
02:00:13.000 So I was on a flight coming from...
02:00:23.000 We're good to go.
02:00:41.000 Fun banter guy, ever.
02:00:43.000 I stink at fun banter.
02:00:45.000 With anyone.
02:00:46.000 On elevators, my ex would laugh at me, because somebody would walk on and go, oh boy, this elevator's slow, and I'd just go, yes, it is. 1.00
02:00:52.000 Like, I'm a humorless cunt. 0.98
02:00:54.000 But it's not, I just panic. 0.99
02:00:55.000 So I sat down, and then her assistant came over with a piece of the New York Times, and he handed it to me.
02:01:00.000 He's like, Joan said you looked like you needed something to read.
02:01:02.000 So she gave me a piece of her paper, and I wanted to take a photo with her.
02:01:05.000 I'm like, can we take a photo after the plane landed?
02:01:07.000 And she goes, yeah, but not here.
02:01:08.000 So she walked me up to the top, and she goes, hop on.
02:01:11.000 And she had one of those things that they zip through the airport with, and she gives me a ride. 1.00
02:01:16.000 On her fucking thing. 0.99
02:01:17.000 We speed through the airport. 1.00
02:01:19.000 And then we took a photo.
02:01:20.000 Not a good photo of either one of us.
02:01:22.000 But I eventually got her to sign it from someone else.
02:01:25.000 And I had met her a couple of times after that and said brief hellos.
02:01:27.000 I don't think she remembered me.
02:01:29.000 And the last time I spoke to her, I went to Louis C.K. Head on Thanksgiving two years ago.
02:01:34.000 He had Joan Rivers at his house.
02:01:35.000 He had Philip Seymour Hoffman at his house.
02:01:37.000 And he invited me.
02:01:39.000 And I said hi to her.
02:01:41.000 Wow, you went to a dinner party with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Joan Rivers at Louis C.K.'s house.
02:01:47.000 That's an amazing story.
02:01:48.000 Well, this is why Louis is so...
02:01:49.000 Louis would tell a great story.
02:01:50.000 This is why Louis is so incredible, because he's unafraid.
02:01:53.000 Like, someone told me, I think Nick DiPaolo was there, Bobby Kelly.
02:01:55.000 Bobby Kelly was so funny that day.
02:01:58.000 I panicked.
02:01:58.000 I'm just looking at Philip Seymour Hoffman.
02:02:00.000 You know, I said, I'll introduce myself.
02:02:03.000 But I'm not good in those moments. 1.00
02:02:05.000 Bob Kelly's just, yeah, fuck it, dad. 1.00
02:02:06.000 He's breaking balls. 1.00
02:02:07.000 He's the big, funny, ox, shit-talker, bully guy. 0.99
02:02:12.000 Moments like that, I really love Bobby because he's so good at being funny in those moments. 0.99
02:02:17.000 You know, like the ball-breaker from Boston that he is?
02:02:20.000 And Bobby's a guy who, in those moments, no matter who the guy is who tries to alpha Bob, Bob is...
02:02:29.000 A Yorkshire Terrier who would be slaughtered by a pit bull. 0.58
02:02:31.000 Because Bob's a guy who really doesn't back off from anybody.
02:02:34.000 Like, that's why he's funny.
02:02:35.000 Because, like, someone tries to alpha him and be funny.
02:02:37.000 And Bob, hey, not there!
02:02:38.000 And he's just, you know.
02:02:39.000 But that works for him.
02:02:41.000 You know what I mean?
02:02:41.000 So I really admired Bobby that day.
02:02:43.000 Because he was so funny in front of Phillips.
02:02:44.000 We were hopping.
02:02:45.000 All these other people.
02:02:46.000 And Ellen Burstyn was there.
02:02:48.000 You know, and I'm just staring at her like, she was in The Exorcist.
02:02:51.000 Yeah, she was in The Exorcist.
02:02:52.000 She played the mother in The Exorcist.
02:02:53.000 Really?
02:02:54.000 Yeah.
02:02:55.000 What a bizarre party. 0.99
02:02:56.000 Louie knows the fucking weirdest people. 0.99
02:02:58.000 That sounds awesome. 0.98
02:02:59.000 And he was making Thanksgiving, and Joan was helping him.
02:03:02.000 What?
02:03:03.000 I think Nick DiPaolo told me that Louie had never done this.
02:03:05.000 That's why he's got such courage, because he'll do something like that.
02:03:08.000 That's why his show works, because he takes risks.
02:03:10.000 You know, I'm Samuel the Shy Sea Lion. 0.96
02:03:13.000 I just want to sit back until it's all in a row and everything's fucking organized. 0.93
02:03:16.000 So this was a Thanksgiving dinner party? 0.96
02:03:18.000 Oh, this was Thanksgiving, two years ago.
02:03:19.000 Wow.
02:03:19.000 Whoa!
02:03:20.000 And Philip showed up with his kids.
02:03:22.000 Whoa! 0.71
02:03:23.000 That sounds amazing.
02:03:24.000 Yeah, Parker Posey was there. 0.99
02:03:26.000 Holy shit. 1.00
02:03:27.000 And fucking, by the way, I'm at the cappuccino machine. 1.00
02:03:29.000 Bobby and I are trying to make cappuccino, and Philip Seymour Hoffman comes over, and I'm just like, look, we're making cappuccino. 1.00
02:03:34.000 I'm so starstruck like a cunt. 0.99
02:03:36.000 And Bob's just being funny. 1.00
02:03:37.000 Bob's just being him in that moment.
02:03:39.000 He's able to be him and be funny. 0.83
02:03:42.000 And I was fucking so jealous of Bob that he could be so funny there.
02:03:45.000 But anyway, Joan was there, and I was just in awe of her. 0.87
02:03:50.000 I couldn't even speak to her.
02:03:51.000 She was there with Melissa, and it's when she walked out.
02:03:53.000 This is pre or post meeting her on the plane?
02:03:55.000 Oh, post!
02:03:55.000 All of it was post.
02:03:56.000 So she left, and I said, goodbye, it was nice seeing you, Joan.
02:03:59.000 And she went, okay.
02:04:00.000 Like, literally, she had no recognition of me.
02:04:02.000 And I saw Louie after that and I was like, God, it really hurts my feelings that she doesn't know who I am.
02:04:06.000 And I'm not like that around any comedian.
02:04:07.000 I'm not uncomfortable around comedians.
02:04:09.000 I'm not nervous around comedians.
02:04:11.000 Because I figure we all know each other in some way.
02:04:14.000 Right. 1.00
02:04:14.000 But around her, I was always like fucking head down. 1.00
02:04:18.000 I was like John Candy in Stripes when Larroquette's yelling at him. 1.00
02:04:21.000 Shut up! 1.00
02:04:22.000 Okay, sure. 1.00
02:04:23.000 I always had like that thing with Joan Rivers. 0.97
02:04:25.000 Wow. 0.99
02:04:26.000 I didn't want her to not like me because she was just such a fucking icon. 0.98
02:04:30.000 And what did Louie say when you told him that? 0.97
02:04:31.000 He was nice, though.
02:04:32.000 He was smart.
02:04:34.000 Louie's so logical. 1.00
02:04:36.000 Louie's like, she's fucking an 80-year-old woman. 1.00
02:04:39.000 That's a good impression. 1.00
02:04:40.000 But that's how he is.
02:04:41.000 You forget because she's had work done. 1.00
02:04:43.000 She's fucking 80. She doesn't know anybody. 0.99
02:04:45.000 And I'm like, he's right. 0.97
02:04:46.000 Even though she was still fucking totally sharp. 0.92
02:04:49.000 But she was an 80-year-old woman at that time. 0.96
02:04:51.000 So of course, you know, maybe like the faces didn't ring as much of a bell as they should have. 0.98
02:04:55.000 Well, she's also insanely famous for so many fucking years. 1.00
02:04:59.000 Where she's probably all day talking to people that want a piece of her. 0.99
02:05:04.000 Yes.
02:05:04.000 All day they want to talk, they want pictures, they want this, they want that.
02:05:08.000 She probably just can't remember it all. 0.99
02:05:09.000 It's 50 fucking years of that in show business. 0.99
02:05:12.000 Yeah, everybody. 0.98
02:05:13.000 And that's how it was for me with Ozzy Osbourne.
02:05:15.000 Like, I've met Ozzy so many times.
02:05:16.000 And when he finally knew me, like, I knew he knew me.
02:05:20.000 Hey, man.
02:05:22.000 But I knew him.
02:05:23.000 He was like, hey, man, you look great.
02:05:25.000 How are you?
02:05:26.000 And it was like, it was like really the way I would greet Joe Rogan.
02:05:29.000 Like, it was just a buddy. 0.99
02:05:30.000 And like, when that happened, I was like, my fucking life is good. 0.99
02:05:33.000 Wow. 0.99
02:05:34.000 But Joan, I never had that with her, and I wish I had.
02:05:36.000 Because she was one of my longest running idols.
02:05:40.000 I really loved her.
02:05:42.000 And not just because if someone dies, everybody whacks this poetic about them. 0.98
02:05:45.000 But I thought she was fucking great. 0.99
02:05:47.000 She's a ballsy lady. 1.00
02:05:48.000 She was a very ballsy lady. 1.00
02:05:49.000 Very brave.
02:05:50.000 She was braver than any of us because she never said she was sorry.
02:05:53.000 And she had so much to lose as far as, you know, I mean, I interviewed one time, what was his name?
02:05:59.000 Henry Bushkin.
02:06:00.000 He was Johnny's old lawyer, Carson's old lawyer.
02:06:02.000 And he wrote a book recently.
02:06:04.000 I wonder how Carson would have felt about him, the old lawyer, writing a book.
02:06:06.000 But he told all the old stories and I asked him about Joan Rivers.
02:06:09.000 And he had a very interesting perspective on how Carson never would have...
02:06:12.000 He said he wouldn't have cared.
02:06:13.000 He said Carson didn't think she would last in late night because she was a little too abrasive to be watched. 0.99
02:06:17.000 Johnny was a smart fucking guy. 0.98
02:06:19.000 But Henry Bushkin was a really... 0.99
02:06:21.000 Well, didn't Carson go bad on her?
02:06:23.000 Didn't they have some sort of a falling out?
02:06:25.000 Well, Johnny was apparently a cold mother. 0.97
02:06:27.000 His mother was really cold.
02:06:28.000 And boy, did it not...
02:06:29.000 The apple didn't fall far from the tree.
02:06:31.000 Really?
02:06:32.000 He would do...
02:06:33.000 Joan...
02:06:33.000 This is what I... Joan got the show.
02:06:36.000 And her husband, Edgar...
02:06:38.000 Said she should do her own talk show.
02:06:40.000 I believe it started at 11 or 11.30.
02:06:42.000 It was up against Johnny.
02:06:43.000 She did it because she was never considered for the permanent guest host job.
02:06:48.000 And she was hurt by that.
02:06:49.000 And she had had a career.
02:06:51.000 But apparently they had hung out with Johnny and not told him.
02:06:55.000 And I think if she had walked up to Carson and said, Johnny, look, I have this opportunity.
02:06:59.000 According to Henry Bushkin, Johnny's lawyer, Johnny would have wished her well because he didn't think...
02:07:04.000 He didn't think she had the longevity in Late Night just because of how she was. 0.94
02:07:09.000 And he might have been right, because you look at Carson, he was so easy breezy, and he had that fucking way, and he lasted. 0.84
02:07:15.000 And Joan's show lasted a little bit, but it didn't last. 0.94
02:07:18.000 So I don't know.
02:07:19.000 I guess he felt that she had betrayed him, and he never spoke to her again.
02:07:24.000 And I think she tried to call him once, and he hung up on her, and never.
02:07:27.000 She said she sent him a note when his son died.
02:07:30.000 His son drove off a cliff and died.
02:07:32.000 No response. 1.00
02:07:33.000 He was a cold motherfucker, Johnny, man. 1.00
02:07:35.000 When he was done with you, he was done. 1.00
02:07:37.000 Fucking finished. 1.00
02:07:39.000 The son drove off a cliff? 1.00
02:07:41.000 Well, by mistake.
02:07:41.000 I think it was an accident.
02:07:42.000 I don't think it was a suicide.
02:07:43.000 His son, Chris. 0.99
02:07:44.000 And I also heard that fucking when Johnny was eulogizing his son on The Tonight Show, fucking Fred DeCordova, who was his exec producer, gave him the rap sign to move it because a commercial was coming. 0.99
02:07:56.000 And I heard that Carson never forgave him either. 0.98
02:07:58.000 And he was never allowed on the floor of The Tonight Show again.
02:08:01.000 Johnny banished him to upstairs.
02:08:02.000 Wow. 0.99
02:08:03.000 Which again, these are just, you know, third and fourth hand shit stories. 1.00
02:08:06.000 Let's say them anyway. 1.00
02:08:07.000 Absolutely.
02:08:08.000 Repeat them as gospel.
02:08:09.000 Don't you Snopes this. 1.00
02:08:10.000 But the fact that you fucking... 0.99
02:08:12.000 No, those are true. 0.99
02:08:12.000 But the fact that you... 0.99
02:08:13.000 Like, almost like with TV people, what are you thinking when this guy, who is such a god on television, is fucking eulogizing his son... 0.97
02:08:22.000 And you're wrapping him up. 0.96
02:08:22.000 What are you thinking? 0.96
02:08:23.000 That fucking Pampers can't wait five minutes? 1.00
02:08:25.000 Like, what's gonna happen to this show if you let him go? 0.99
02:08:29.000 Speaking of what's going to happen to the show, this one has to end.
02:08:31.000 Yes, it does.
02:08:31.000 We've been talking for a while.
02:08:32.000 This is good, though.
02:08:33.000 Yeah.
02:08:34.000 We've got to do this more often.
02:08:35.000 I love it, dude.
02:08:35.000 When I'm out here, I love doing you, and it's my favorite one to do.
02:08:39.000 I mean, I love Adam, but you I know for so many years, so this is the most fun I have. 0.53
02:08:43.000 We've known each other a long fucking time, dude.
02:08:45.000 Like I said, we met in, like, what, 91 or something like that? 0.98
02:08:48.000 Mid-90s.
02:08:48.000 Yeah, doing the quarter-deck in.
02:08:50.000 I still remember, I told you, I remember your Mike Tyson joke about how scary it must have been when fucking Mike showed up and Brad Pitt was with me. 0.97
02:08:56.000 You're like, you can't go check! 0.96
02:08:57.000 Can I talk you for a second?
02:08:58.000 And you did the Mike Tyson impression.
02:08:59.000 And you were very funny and you were very animated and a very powerful comic.
02:09:05.000 I know you use that word a lot, but that was how you struck me early on. 0.99
02:09:09.000 You had a tremendous amount of fucking force on stage. 0.99
02:09:13.000 And I was up there just meek doing high energy fucking faggity Jimmy. 1.00
02:09:17.000 How we doing? 0.99
02:09:18.000 Like me?
02:09:19.000 How we doing?
02:09:20.000 I always liked you.
02:09:21.000 I always thought you were funny.
02:09:22.000 You were very nice.
02:09:24.000 But it's interesting when you've gone through a journey like that with someone, when you've been friends since you were both starting out.
02:09:29.000 Yeah.
02:09:29.000 You know, it's weird.
02:09:31.000 It's weird when you go back and you look at all the time that's passed and how much each one of us has evolved and grown.
02:09:36.000 You know, it's cool to see someone that you started out with being really successful, too.
02:09:40.000 I'm really psyched for you.
02:09:41.000 Thank you, man.
02:09:42.000 Yeah, I hope people liked the new special.
02:09:43.000 They're going to love it!
02:09:44.000 They love you.
02:09:45.000 I hope so.
02:09:45.000 You're one of the best comics working today.
02:09:48.000 Thank you.
02:09:48.000 I really believe that.
02:09:48.000 Thank you very much.
02:09:49.000 One of the best comics in the world.
02:09:51.000 You're a good man.
02:09:51.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Jim Norton, one of the best comics in the world.
02:09:53.000 You could get him on Twitter, Jim Norton on Twitter. 0.99
02:09:56.000 You could fucking email him. 0.99
02:09:58.000 He'll email you back. 1.00
02:09:59.000 If you're not a douchebag, that's TheRealJimNorton at Gmail.
02:10:03.000 You can see the special April 24th.
02:10:06.000 Friday night.
02:10:07.000 Friday night, April 24th on Epix.
02:10:10.000 And EpixHD.com, I think, if you don't get Epix.
02:10:13.000 Glorious.
02:10:13.000 Thank you, my brother.
02:10:14.000 Thank you, buddy.
02:10:15.000 Always good to hang with you.
02:10:15.000 Yes.