The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #636 - Bryan Callen

00:00:01.000 Oh shit, we're live! 1.00

00:00:03.000 Beatboxing, Brian Callen shows another hidden skill. 1.00

00:00:07.000 This last weekend, we just learned he speaks fluent gay rapist French. 0.98

00:00:12.000 I speak French, it's true! 1.00

00:00:15.000 The hardest things I ever laughed at is you doing your French rapist character. 0.98

00:00:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:00:20.000 Talking to Steve Rinella about, explaining to him how to, assuming you were saying tighten up his ass because you were going to come inside of it. 1.00

00:00:27.000 Something like that. 0.99

00:00:29.000 But you were doing it all in perfectly enunciated French.

00:00:32.000 That's right.

00:00:32.000 I think you shocked him.

00:00:33.000 I did.

00:00:34.000 He was crying.

00:00:35.000 He was laughing so hard he was actually crying.

00:00:36.000 The camera guy, the camera guys who are pros. 0.99

00:00:40.000 These guys are goddamn pros. 0.99

00:00:42.000 They keep it together. 0.99

00:00:43.000 The guy gave in and was laughing out loud while holding the camera.

00:00:47.000 He was like, ah!

00:00:49.000 He couldn't help it.

00:00:50.000 We were all crying. 0.99

00:00:51.000 And also, he knew this was never going to get on the fucking Sportsman channel. 0.98

00:00:54.000 It's not going to get on the Sportsman channel. 0.91

00:00:56.000 I wish they would release it on the web.

00:00:59.000 They should.

00:01:00.000 The ravine comer.

00:01:01.000 Why don't we have those?

00:01:02.000 The footage is there.

00:01:04.000 I think there's some concern that the hunting folk would abandon us. 0.98

00:01:09.000 Oh, because they don't like French rapists and ravine comers? 1.00

00:01:12.000 The hunting folk don't like these goddamn comedians coming in and gaying up our fine American pastime. 1.00

00:01:18.000 The hunting folk... 1.00

00:01:21.000 Some of the hunting folk, look, most hunting people are like most people. 0.99

00:01:26.000 Most people are cool as fuck. 0.98

00:01:28.000 I maintain this. 0.99

00:01:29.000 I really do believe this.

00:01:31.000 I believe that most people are great.

00:01:33.000 It is a very small percentage of people.

00:01:35.000 It took me a long-ass time to figure this out.

00:01:38.000 Just the sheer numbers.

00:01:40.000 It's just that when something goes wrong, it's so disturbing for us that we get upset and we lump all other folks into the same category that that person came from, almost to protect ourselves.

00:01:51.000 Yeah.

00:01:51.000 And, you know, it's a prejudice.

00:01:53.000 And, like, having a prejudice towards people who live in the South or having a prejudice towards anything.

00:01:58.000 It's all the same.

00:02:00.000 Any kind of prejudice.

00:02:01.000 Against another team, their fans. 0.98

00:02:03.000 It's not a nicer prejudice because they just have a Southern accent and they live down there and you think it's cute to think they're retarded. 0.99

00:02:10.000 Right. 1.00

00:02:11.000 No, that's goddamn prejudice. 1.00

00:02:12.000 Those are people. 1.00

00:02:13.000 Right. 1.00

00:02:13.000 If you thought they were retarded because they were black, you'd be a piece of shit. 1.00

00:02:17.000 Right. 1.00

00:02:17.000 Right? 1.00

00:02:17.000 But you can think that they're retarded just because they talk like this. 1.00

00:02:21.000 Like, some of them that talk like this are actually super intelligent people. 0.53

00:02:24.000 That's right.

00:02:24.000 Because they choose to keep their accent.

00:02:26.000 I've spoken to professors that have, like, a strong Houston, Texas accent. 0.99

00:02:31.000 And the guy was genius as fuck. 0.99

00:02:33.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00

00:02:34.000 Exactly.

00:02:35.000 Smarter than me.

00:02:36.000 We are tribal.

00:02:37.000 People are just tribal. 0.76

00:02:38.000 It's really easy to do that.

00:02:40.000 Those guys over there, I don't like people from West Virginia or whatever. 1.00

00:02:43.000 I don't like them goddamn comedians. 1.00

00:02:45.000 They're smoking weed and they're talking hunting and that's not what hunting's about. 1.00

00:02:48.000 What hunting's about is how I do it.

00:02:50.000 I get up in the morning and I face the east.

00:02:53.000 Or is that Muslims? 1.00

00:02:54.000 No, that's Muslims. 1.00

00:02:55.000 Now see, now you're a traitor and now you just exposed yourself. 1.00

00:02:57.000 No, no, no, no, no. 0.98

00:02:58.000 You exposed yourself.

00:02:59.000 I meant I praise Jesus to the east, west, north, and south.

00:03:03.000 No, you said the east means you're...

00:03:04.000 No, no, no, no.

00:03:05.000 I swear to God, I am not a pale-faced terrorist.

00:03:09.000 I think you are.

00:03:10.000 What is that expression?

00:03:11.000 There's an expression.

00:03:12.000 Oh, clean skin.

00:03:13.000 Clean face?

00:03:14.000 Clean skin terrorist?

00:03:15.000 I don't know.

00:03:16.000 I haven't heard of it.

00:03:16.000 That expression is for like the Timothy McVeighs.

00:03:19.000 The ones you don't see coming.

00:03:21.000 Because they look like good old-fashioned American boys. 0.76

00:03:24.000 What is the term?

00:03:26.000 See if you can find what that term is, Jamie.

00:03:27.000 Militia.

00:03:27.000 I think it's called clean skin terrorist.

00:03:30.000 That's what they they think of as like some Homegrown nutty dude. 0.98

00:03:34.000 I was listening to this fucking radio lab podcast about these dudes these white supremacist dudes that were planning this mass murder and they were infiltrated by the FBI Jesus it was fascinating man Goddamn that national public radio podcast radio lab is one of the best things ever not just like on podcast but as far as like If it was a movie, 0.97

00:03:57.000 it would be one of the best things ever. 0.98

00:03:58.000 If it was a TV show, it would be one of the best things ever.

00:04:18.000 I have never.

00:04:19.000 I've listened to great professors.

00:04:20.000 I've never heard anybody kind of break down history as a story where you just can't wait for the next podcast.

00:04:26.000 And then Radiolab, which I've always listened to NPR, and sometimes they have those on there, but Radiolab is pretty amazing.

00:04:33.000 It's off the charts amazing.

00:04:35.000 It's so good.

00:04:36.000 So it is clean-skinned.

00:04:37.000 A clean-skinned terrorist is a potential attacker with a spotless record whose documents don't arouse suspicion.

00:04:44.000 Wow.

00:04:45.000 Well, you gotta think, like, every terrorist, every dude who blows a fuse, there has to be, like, there's a moment where you could get to, like, a certain age.

00:04:55.000 You could be, like, pretty nutty and get to a certain age without a criminal record.

00:04:58.000 Yeah.

00:04:58.000 And then, all the time, you're, like, building up for the one big nutty event.

00:05:02.000 Those are the scary guys that inside, live inside, and then they're just waiting for action.

00:05:07.000 Yeah, they're terrified, and they just, they're fantasizing, they're going over their head, going over their head, and then they finally explode.

00:05:13.000 Now, how do those guys get made?

00:05:15.000 Is that nature or nurture?

00:05:17.000 Isn't that the ultimate question?

00:05:19.000 Because if we could stop all people that would wantonly want to create war for profit, if we could stop all people that would act in the name of global aggression for financial gain, if we could stop all that,

00:05:34.000 we would all do it, and then we would have a way crazier world.

00:05:37.000 If we had a world where Everybody was basically really nice.

00:05:41.000 Yeah.

00:05:42.000 Although you're suggesting, and the way you frame that is you're assuming that people that are aggressive or create aggression or are the aggressors are doing it only for, and a lot of people think this, only for certain And always has to be.

00:06:18.000 Absolutely.

00:06:19.000 I don't think you'll ever get rid of aggression, and you probably shouldn't.

00:06:24.000 I think it's part of the order of the universe.

00:06:27.000 What I think you have to do is this.

00:06:30.000 The biggest threat is, you know, one thing that's always kind of confounding about life is that it takes so long to build something.

00:06:37.000 It takes so long to build a complete human being.

00:06:40.000 It takes so long to build something like the Sistine Chapel.

00:06:43.000 And it's so easy to destroy.

00:06:45.000 One motivated fanatic with a large enough bomb on his back could blow up St. Peter's Cathedral or could kill I don't know how many people.

00:06:55.000 And that's what's so hard is that the things that take so long to build are so easy to destroy.

00:07:02.000 As technology grows, it's going to become more and more a factor and more and more a reality where one person or a small group can get their hands on devastating technology to destroy something impossibly huge.

00:07:16.000 So that's the bigger question.

00:07:17.000 I think aggression is always going to be around and... 0.73

00:07:21.000 When you say, you know, I wonder how those people are made, I don't know that it's going to be done by that one crazy, because one crazy can't get his hands on massive amounts of weaponry.

00:07:29.000 He's usually one guy, and he carries a gun, and he does enough damage.

00:07:32.000 Well, how about these kids in the Boston bombings?

00:07:35.000 I mean, they were fairly clean-skinned terrorists, right?

00:07:38.000 They were, and they killed, I think, six people.

00:07:41.000 I can't remember what the thing is, but that's always tragic.

00:07:45.000 What I'm saying is that The bigger threat is less aggression and more sort of warped ideology that moves and motivates a large group of people into aggression.

00:07:55.000 Right.

00:07:55.000 That's what I worry about.

00:07:57.000 And that's where I think, you know...

00:07:58.000 So when you say aggression, you don't mean aggression like hostile, takeover of countries type aggression.

00:08:04.000 You mean just like male behavior?

00:08:06.000 Like, what do you mean when you say aggression?

00:08:09.000 I think aggression in this context is...

00:08:12.000 It's like a military sense.

00:08:15.000 Something that causes massive destruction, irreparable harm to infrastructure and to populations.

00:08:22.000 For example, what's going on in Iraq with ISIS, right?

00:08:26.000 When you hear the news, if you just listen to the news, ISIS is this terrible group of fanatics. 0.99

00:08:30.000 Yes, they are, and they kill lots of people. 0.87

00:08:32.000 It's a much deeper problem.

00:08:34.000 You know, they're talking about, what do you do about ISIS? Well, do you bomb the shit out of them? 1.00

00:08:37.000 Problem is, they're ingrained in the Sunni towns and population, and they have a lot of support by the Sunnis. 1.00

00:08:42.000 Why?

00:08:43.000 Why do these fanatical guys have support from the Sunni population?

00:08:47.000 It has nothing to do with whether those Sunni people who are good people, like you just said, most people are really good people.

00:08:54.000 They are giving support to a fanatical group of people because they are their best hedge and their best bet against what's called Shia aggression in their eyes. 0.98

00:09:03.000 So the Shia who dominate the south of Iraq, who sit on most of the oil down there. 0.99

00:09:09.000 If the Sunnis don't cut out a little place for themselves using this crazy group called ISIS, they could be left in the future in real fucking trouble. 1.00

00:09:20.000 And so again, now we're talking about they're using aggression, in their eyes, as a form of self-defense. 0.98

00:09:27.000 If you were a Sunni Iraqi, you'd have a very different idea and context of what ISIS is, as opposed to you and I, who get our information.

00:09:36.000 And again, there's nothing to admire about those guys. 0.98

00:09:38.000 They're ruthless killers.

00:09:39.000 But it's just interesting that you and I look at that as aggression on one side.

00:09:44.000 A lot of those people are using ISIS as self-defense.

00:09:47.000 Aggression is justified. 0.98

00:09:48.000 Yeah, they're terrible, but we need them against the Shia. 1.00

00:09:51.000 So, it's hard for someone who lives in California in 2015 to wrap their head around what's going on in other parts of the world right now.

00:10:01.000 Unless you...

00:10:02.000 I mean, even what I've seen of it, I haven't seen enough.

00:10:06.000 My seeing of it is all two-dimensional.

00:10:09.000 I couldn't imagine. 0.99

00:10:11.000 I couldn't fucking imagine. 0.92

00:10:13.000 It's one of the biggest problems we're gonna have with people that have seen it and don't have to imagine it anymore, trying to forget it, trying to be normal again. 0.97

00:10:22.000 And you ask a fucking hell of a lot of people, and how do you help them through that?

00:10:28.000 And what kind of counseling, mental health counseling? 0.97

00:10:31.000 I hope it's comprehensive.

00:10:32.000 It's a really good question because they always say after a war and after the revolution and after whatever happens and a country settles, everybody always forgets about the victims.

00:10:41.000 There's never really any kind of infrastructure to help people in Sierra Leone that got their arms hacked off, that saw their kids killed in front of them and stuff like that.

00:10:49.000 Is it possible that because of the ability that we have right now to translate languages so quickly, you know, which is really unprecedented?

00:10:58.000 It's something that people don't think about that much, but there's all sorts of software now, just on a regular phone, that can look at images and translate them to English on your screen.

00:11:07.000 You could ask questions and have those questions immediately translated into Spanish.

00:11:14.000 There's all these programs they have now.

00:11:16.000 It's way easier to understand other languages than it ever has been before.

00:11:21.000 To decipher actual texts in real time that really never existed before.

00:11:26.000 And that kind of technology is going to slowly but surely break down a lot of barriers and a lot of like ideas that we have about each other.

00:11:35.000 Well, less so language and I think more so the fact that we can not only see suffering in real time with cameras and the internet, but we are also starting to see that cultures, whether they're Indian or South Korea, are really similar to Americans.

00:11:50.000 You know, with K-pop, I mean, Korea's got all their K-pop and stuff, but more importantly, when you see their artistic expressions, they're making movies, Slumdog Millionaire, you see an Indian kid who has the same dreams and aspirations as anybody does.

00:12:03.000 I think that goes a longer way in bringing people into sort of a collective notion, and it already has, people like Steven Pinker would argue, that...

00:12:12.000 That it's becoming easier to identify with other people's suffering because we identify with a lot of aspects of how they live their lives to begin with.

00:12:24.000 It's no longer like, who are those strange people with dark skin?

00:12:27.000 Nowadays, you know, people are dressing the same no matter where you go.

00:12:32.000 You know, and I got recognized on the plane from a woman from Bombay, from Mumbai, because she watches How I Met Your Mother.

00:12:39.000 And told me all her friends love How I Met Your Mother.

00:12:42.000 And she was flipping out that the guy from How I Met Your Mother was sitting next to her.

00:12:46.000 And she had a heavy accent.

00:12:48.000 She was talking like, I can't believe I'm watching.

00:12:51.000 Wow.

00:12:52.000 All my friends, can I take a picture?

00:12:54.000 She was so excited.

00:12:56.000 And she had this heavy Indian accent.

00:12:58.000 And I thought, that never would have happened.

00:13:01.000 No, never would have happened.

00:13:02.000 And so we are sharing artistic experience.

00:13:06.000 We're sharing experience in high relief, usually in movies and TV. And that's, in a lot of ways, that's going to go a lot farther than being able to download a language, because that's always going to take more time.

00:13:18.000 Well, if we all just spoke the same language, it would be really fucking boring. 1.00

00:13:22.000 That's true. 0.99

00:13:23.000 But it would be really cool if we understood what the fuck everybody was saying all the time. 0.99

00:13:29.000 You know, I think it would smooth out a lot of shit between people. 0.99

00:13:34.000 I really got to think that like if we could have like real-time conversations with like Kim Jong-un You know if you could have a real-time conversation with that dude and sit down and go what is your life like? 0.89

00:13:47.000 Explain to me like what was childhood like for you?

00:13:49.000 What's the environment around you all the time?

00:13:52.000 He's a real live king.

00:13:54.000 He's a monarch.

00:13:55.000 One of the few remaining.

00:13:58.000 He lives like a king and was raised like a prince.

00:14:01.000 And Dennis Rodman's his homeboy.

00:14:03.000 Dennis Rodman was a great spokesman for him, wasn't he? 0.99

00:14:06.000 Dennis Rodman comes down and hangs with that dude and plays basketball and shit and then leaves. 0.99

00:14:11.000 Like, what kind of fucking bizarro reality TV world are we living in where Dennis Rodman just hops on private jets and hangs out with the king of North Korea? 0.98

00:14:21.000 Be the greatest reality show ever made. 0.98

00:14:24.000 Him and Kim Jong-un.

00:14:26.000 Me and the king.

00:14:29.000 It's like Rocky Marziano hanging out with Mussolini.

00:14:31.000 What do they talk about?

00:14:32.000 What do they talk about?

00:14:34.000 Look at them there together having a good old time.

00:14:37.000 Do you think he's freaked out at all about the amount of metal that's in Rodman's face?

00:14:41.000 I know I am.

00:14:42.000 God, look at that.

00:14:43.000 That is such a strange thing.

00:14:46.000 Yeah, look at him.

00:14:47.000 He's a king.

00:14:48.000 Didn't he have his own uncle eaten by wild dogs or something?

00:14:52.000 What?

00:14:52.000 Yeah.

00:14:53.000 Oh, that's right.

00:14:54.000 He assassinated him.

00:14:56.000 That's his uncle.

00:14:57.000 I was thinking about Rodman.

00:14:58.000 I was like, Rodman did that?

00:15:00.000 Had his uncle killed.

00:15:02.000 I blame the weed.

00:15:03.000 Look at that haircut.

00:15:05.000 His uncle apparently was trying to organize a coup.

00:15:08.000 Yeah.

00:15:08.000 So he killed, I believe he killed everyone in the family except the wife.

00:15:14.000 And he gave the wife like a raise.

00:15:17.000 Really?

00:15:18.000 Promoted her to a better position. 0.99

00:15:20.000 Really?

00:15:21.000 After he killed her husband.

00:15:22.000 Yeah.

00:15:22.000 Interesting.

00:15:23.000 Yeah.

00:15:24.000 Something along those lines.

00:15:25.000 I might be making that up. 1.00

00:15:26.000 It's real Game of Thrones shit. 0.99

00:15:28.000 Yeah, it is. 1.00

00:15:29.000 I mean, he really did kill his uncle and then his uncle's sons, so his uncle's sons couldn't take revenge on him.

00:15:35.000 Yeah.

00:15:35.000 Jesus Christ.

00:15:36.000 The Russians were good at that. 1.00

00:15:37.000 Khrushchev used to do that, and Stalin.

00:15:40.000 Oh, my God.

00:15:40.000 You get rid of everybody.

00:15:42.000 Saddam Hussein used to do that. 0.91

00:15:43.000 Saddam Hussein.

00:15:44.000 Who was it that was talking about that?

00:15:45.000 It was Helmut Schroeder, one of the ex-German premiers, went to meet.

00:15:50.000 He said, I want to say hi to the ambassador.

00:15:54.000 The German ambassador, who I've known for 10 years, they said he was, unfortunately, he was executed for treason.

00:16:02.000 And he was like, he'd known him for a long time, and he was really kind of taken aback, and he was like, oh, that really makes me upset.

00:16:08.000 And he goes, well, can I see the family?

00:16:10.000 I got to know the family.

00:16:11.000 I'd like to give them my condolences.

00:16:12.000 The family is no longer around either.

00:16:15.000 And he told that story, I think it was on Charlie Rose or something, where, oh, they killed his whole family.

00:16:21.000 That's real.

00:16:23.000 I mean, and again, like you were saying, we have no idea what it's like.

00:16:27.000 We're so lucky.

00:16:28.000 We're so lucky we can walk away from things we don't like.

00:16:31.000 Because most of the world has to live with something they don't like, including a government that tells them what to do and tells them where to live and tells them where they're going.

00:16:40.000 I don't know if this is propaganda or not. 0.98

00:16:43.000 I don't know if it's bullshit or not. 0.98

00:16:44.000 I'm just telling you what I read. 0.99

00:16:46.000 That they were putting people in jail if they didn't cry hard enough when Kim Jong Il died.

00:16:53.000 Yeah.

00:16:54.000 Some of them were getting six months of hard labor.

00:16:57.000 For not crying hard.

00:16:58.000 Yes, because they were not grieving hard enough.

00:17:01.000 So you see these pictures of them beating their chest and crying, party members, crying for, you know, nobody wanted to be the first person to stop crying, so they're crying for hours.

00:17:12.000 Oh my god, this is madness.

00:17:15.000 Yeah.

00:17:15.000 That's like group madness.

00:17:18.000 That's what North Korea is. 0.98

00:17:20.000 It's like group madness.

00:17:22.000 It's like you're watching what happens when you allow these really ancient, horrific methods of dictatorship.

00:17:30.000 And they do even worse. 0.98

00:17:31.000 If you really fucked up, they'll put you in the coal mines and you never leave. 0.99

00:17:36.000 You never come out of the coal mine. 1.00

00:17:38.000 So you don't get any sunlight.

00:17:39.000 So your skin starts to fall off.

00:17:40.000 But you don't leave.

00:17:41.000 You're not getting up.

00:17:42.000 You're living in the coal mine.

00:17:44.000 Oh my god.

00:17:45.000 It is so bad.

00:17:45.000 Punished for not crying.

00:17:46.000 Thousands of North Koreans face labor camps for not being upset.

00:17:49.000 Six months in labor, yeah.

00:17:50.000 Oh my god.

00:17:52.000 Upset enough about the death of Kim Jong-il.

00:17:56.000 That is insane.

00:17:58.000 It's amazing.

00:17:59.000 I guess that's the only way to run a culture.

00:18:03.000 If you're going to run it that way as a dictator, you have to have everybody absolutely terrified all the time so no one takes a chance.

00:18:10.000 Wow.

00:18:11.000 How can you maintain that? 0.99

00:18:13.000 How the fuck are they maintaining that? 0.99

00:18:15.000 If your family might get put in jail or killed, you'll do it. 0.99

00:18:19.000 I know, but I mean, it's amazing.

00:18:21.000 I mean, it has to be at like a boiling point.

00:18:23.000 Could you imagine?

00:18:24.000 Look at that.

00:18:25.000 These poor people.

00:18:26.000 Even the kids, they move you and they move you.

00:18:31.000 You're designated where you live in North Korea, the neighborhood you live in.

00:18:35.000 If your family was... 0.91

00:18:38.000 Against or for the original founder of North Korea, Kim Jong Il's father, if they were in opposition to him, you live in a very shitty neighborhood.

00:18:48.000 If they were a lie to him, three generations later, you live in a good neighborhood.

00:18:52.000 Oh my god.

00:18:53.000 That's crazy.

00:18:54.000 Good stuff there.

00:18:55.000 Nice guy.

00:18:56.000 He apparently was mad during the famine in the 90s that people were eating the dogs, were eating Korean dogs.

00:19:03.000 He's like, they're our national, you know, the Jindo is like one of our national treasures, and these people are eating the dogs. 1.00

00:19:10.000 He was all irritated.

00:19:11.000 He's a good guy.

00:19:14.000 Yeah, that's the worst country in the world, and it's always rated that way.

00:19:18.000 It's just so crazy to think that someone's able to pull that off in this day and age.

00:19:24.000 Well, he's got nuclear weapons.

00:19:25.000 Thank you, Pakistan.

00:19:27.000 It's just...

00:19:28.000 I just have a hard time believing that that can be maintained, but yet here it is.

00:19:34.000 The fact that it's still here in 2015 is pretty nuts.

00:19:38.000 This is like really late in the terms of civilization to have a full-on dictator like that.

00:19:45.000 We're like, look at those people crying again.

00:19:48.000 Could you imagine any sort of a scene like that in America if a guy died who was the king?

00:19:55.000 God, look at that.

00:19:56.000 Look at all that.

00:19:57.000 So these poor people are just faking crying.

00:20:01.000 Yeah.

00:20:01.000 Everybody terrified to not...

00:20:04.000 They all have handkerchiefs.

00:20:05.000 ...to stop crying too soon.

00:20:07.000 God.

00:20:07.000 Oh my God.

00:20:09.000 It's it is it's it's madness It's probably what a lot of history was about when you had a king and they were he was absolute ruler and If he was a sociopath luckily if you if you're lucky you got a good king Somebody wasn't crazy goddamn dude. 1.00

00:20:23.000 That is the nuttiest shit of all nutty shit The fact that there's a still a country of millions of people that live like that. 1.00

00:20:29.000 Yeah, I know God damn. 1.00

00:20:32.000 That's terrifying. 0.99

00:20:33.000 And whenever, you know, people talk about privilege, white privilege, black privilege, whatever kind of privilege you might have, heterosexual privilege, here's the biggest privilege.

00:20:44.000 Not having to live like those folks.

00:20:46.000 Exactly.

00:20:47.000 That's number one above all else.

00:20:49.000 But isn't that the reason, one of the big reasons to at least read the newspaper or a little history or know what's going on in the world?

00:20:56.000 Have some perspective any way you can get it.

00:20:58.000 Yeah, that term, white privilege, people don't like that term.

00:21:03.000 People get mad, which usually means there's some validity to it. 0.51

00:21:08.000 If anybody says white privilege and you see a white dude roll in his eyes, you might have a little racist in you, buddy.

00:21:17.000 I might have a weird conversation with you and have to go, wait, what? 0.95

00:21:20.000 No, Obama's not a Muslim. 0.64

00:21:22.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:21:23.000 I had a conversation with a friend like that. 0.68

00:21:25.000 In the middle of the conversation, he goes, Obama's the biggest Muslim in the country.

00:21:29.000 I go, no, he's not.

00:21:30.000 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:21:31.000 Why are you saying shit like that, man? 1.00

00:21:33.000 There's no evidence that he's a Muslim at all. 1.00

00:21:36.000 No, none.

00:21:36.000 Zero.

00:21:37.000 By the way, his dad was Kenyan and Muslim, but he didn't know his dad very well.

00:21:40.000 He grew up in Hawaii, right?

00:21:41.000 But the dude's not living some secret life where he's ready to blow up America from the inside.

00:21:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:47.000 That's what these dumbasses think. 1.00

00:21:48.000 He doesn't have a callus on the middle of his head where he prays every day, which is... 1.00

00:21:51.000 Do they really get a callus?

00:21:52.000 You're supposed to.

00:21:53.000 If you're very pious in Islam, you get a darker... 1.00

00:21:56.000 The skin in that area where you touch your head to the floor is darker than the rest of your skin. 0.95

00:22:01.000 That's when you know somebody's really, really religious.

00:22:04.000 So it's like the cauliflower ear of the Islam world. 1.00

00:22:06.000 Correct.

00:22:07.000 Wow, it's a badge of courage.

00:22:08.000 Pretty wild, right? 1.00

00:22:08.000 What happens if you're a pussy and you want a little pillow, a little soft pillow? 1.00

00:22:12.000 Do they get mad at you? 1.00

00:22:13.000 Don't the Orthodox Jews wear something like that when they pray? 0.99

00:22:18.000 I don't know.

00:22:19.000 I do not know what their practice is.

00:22:22.000 Well, I know you're thinking about things.

00:22:24.000 They're showing these guys with dark spots in their forehead.

00:22:27.000 Oh my god.

00:22:28.000 Jeremy just pulled up all these photos of these guys with these super dark spots in their foreheads.

00:22:32.000 Yeah, that's when you know that you gotta just know that he's very religious.

00:22:36.000 Look at that old dude with the glasses down there. 0.91

00:22:38.000 He's got like a hole in his head.

00:22:39.000 Well, that is Yaziri. 0.95

00:22:42.000 Scroll down a little bit, Jerry?

00:22:43.000 That's Osama Bin Laden's right-hand man, that guy. 0.92

00:22:45.000 Yeah, that guy right there.

00:22:46.000 He's a bad guy. 1.00

00:22:46.000 He's got a hole in his head. 1.00

00:22:48.000 Yeah, Zawahiri. 0.97

00:22:49.000 That's the Egyptian doctor who is Osama Bin Laden's right-hand man. 1.00

00:22:54.000 He's still at large.

00:22:55.000 Can you make that photo larger?

00:22:56.000 Is that possible?

00:22:57.000 Still at large.

00:22:58.000 Bad guy.

00:22:59.000 Jesus Christ.

00:23:00.000 Access forbidden.

00:23:01.000 Yeah, he's a doctor too.

00:23:03.000 Jesus Christ.

00:23:04.000 Look at his forehead, dude.

00:23:05.000 Yep.

00:23:06.000 That man, I never heard of this before.

00:23:09.000 This is insane.

00:23:10.000 Brian Callen, you teach me something new every time we talk. 1.00

00:23:13.000 You smart bitch. 1.00

00:23:14.000 Come on. 1.00

00:23:15.000 Look at that forehead, man.

00:23:17.000 That's crazy. 0.93

00:23:18.000 That dude has worn a hole in his head.

00:23:20.000 Yeah.

00:23:21.000 That's like, it looks, I mean, it's hard to tell because it's fairly low resolution, but whatever that is.

00:23:27.000 Not a good guy, by the way.

00:23:29.000 He and Osama were good buddies.

00:23:32.000 He's still alive.

00:23:32.000 He's still out there.

00:23:33.000 They don't know where he is.

00:23:34.000 Whoa.

00:23:34.000 The Egyptian doctor.

00:23:36.000 That's amazing.

00:23:38.000 Yeah.

00:23:38.000 Very religious.

00:23:39.000 And very violent.

00:23:41.000 We live in a movie.

00:23:42.000 We really do.

00:23:43.000 We really live in a movie.

00:23:45.000 We live in a movie.

00:23:46.000 And it's a weird one.

00:23:47.000 You mean just the fact that we're Americans or in general?

00:23:50.000 The whole world is theater.

00:23:52.000 I mean, it really is.

00:23:53.000 I mean, obviously it's real.

00:23:55.000 But what I'm saying is, the way it's playing out, it's so goofy, it seems like a work of fiction.

00:24:01.000 The North Korea thing seems like a work of fiction. 0.76

00:24:04.000 The uber-pious gentleman dressed like a genie who's worn a hole in his head from praying... 1.00

00:24:12.000 That guy is a character in a fucking movie. 0.99

00:24:15.000 Oh, and by the way, they can't find him. 1.00

00:24:17.000 He's out there, he's a doctor, he's evil, he's probably got millions of dollars, and they can't find him.

00:24:23.000 When does Batman come in?

00:24:26.000 Where's Batman?

00:24:28.000 It's true, right?

00:24:29.000 It's also weird, like, people hatch plans and they pull them off.

00:24:32.000 Like, they just get together and they go, listen, you guys, we're gonna hijack plans and fly them into buildings.

00:24:38.000 You know?

00:24:40.000 Benghazi?

00:24:41.000 Yeah.

00:24:42.000 Anyway, I mean, there's a bunch of different things, different events that have happened all over the world where people kept their mouth shut, plotted them, and executed them.

00:24:51.000 Dan Carlin says this beautifully.

00:24:53.000 He talks about, we always talk about how they live in the age of terrorism.

00:24:55.000 He said, well, they live in the age of terrorism actually since 1914. And he tells them a It's a fascinating story.

00:25:01.000 If you don't know the origins of World War I, it's very important because World War I and World War II are connected.

00:25:07.000 World War II is the continuation of World War I. And about 80 or 90 million people lost their lives because of those two wars.

00:25:13.000 And oh, and it destroyed all of old Europe. 0.92

00:25:15.000 Oh, and it changed the entire map of the world.

00:25:17.000 Oh, and all of us live in its wake in a much deeper and more turbulent way than you can imagine.

00:25:24.000 In fact, let me keep going.

00:25:26.000 If you want to know about the Middle East, really, you've got to study World War I. If you don't, No historian will take you seriously.

00:25:32.000 And Dan Carlin said something fascinating.

00:25:34.000 I don't know if you know the story.

00:25:35.000 He said, World War I and the world you live in was changed by one man.

00:25:40.000 And his name was Karvilo Princip.

00:25:42.000 And he was a Serbian terrorist.

00:25:44.000 And he found out that the Archduke Ferdinand of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, doesn't matter, was coming to town.

00:25:51.000 And they had control of Serbia.

00:25:53.000 And Serbia was looking for their independence. 0.99

00:25:55.000 So they said, we're going to kill this guy. 0.98

00:25:57.000 And he was in an open car with his wife.

00:25:58.000 And he was in a parade, and one of the Serbian terrorists came running out with a grenade or a bomb, threw it at the car, and it had a faulty thing, and it blew up under the other car, and six people were very badly injured.

00:26:11.000 I think one person was killed.

00:26:13.000 But guess what?

00:26:14.000 Archduke Ferdinand, he survives.

00:26:16.000 He goes.

00:26:17.000 He makes a full account.

00:26:18.000 They apologize to him.

00:26:19.000 And remember, this was in Serbia.

00:26:22.000 It was in Sarajevo, which was a sort of a colony, if you will, of the Serbo-Hungarian, of the Austrian-Hungarian Empire.

00:26:29.000 Here was the next in line for the, in charge of the Austro-Hungarian Empire.

00:26:34.000 Now check this out.

00:26:35.000 Listen how crazy this is.

00:26:36.000 I know the story.

00:26:37.000 I've listened to the podcast.

00:26:38.000 Oh, you did?

00:26:38.000 Okay.

00:26:38.000 But go ahead and keep saying it if you want.

00:26:40.000 It's just awesome.

00:26:41.000 So now, they say, well, we missed our assassination attempt.

00:26:46.000 This guy, Carvillo Princip, who was part of this whole group, goes in for a sandwich.

00:26:52.000 And as the Archduke Ferdinand said, let's get you out of here, he says, no, I want to go to the hospital and I want to check on all the survivors of this bombing.

00:27:00.000 They said, okay.

00:27:00.000 So they go down a road and the guy misses his turn.

00:27:04.000 And he misses his turn, and now he decides to back up.

00:27:07.000 And as he's backing up, the car stalls.

00:27:09.000 And they've got to kind of figure it out. 0.99

00:27:10.000 And as the car stalls because he missed a turn, a guy named Carvillo Princip, part of this Serbian thing, comes walking out with a sandwich, and he goes, what the fuck? 0.98

00:27:18.000 There's the Archduke Ferdinand. 0.98

00:27:20.000 He's just right in front of me. 0.96

00:27:21.000 And he shoots him. 1.00

00:27:22.000 And he shoots his wife. 0.93

00:27:24.000 And that was because the driver missed a turn and was backing up, and Carvillo, by coincidence, just sees the Archduke and shoots him.

00:27:31.000 And that pin, as Dan Carlin says, that created the hand grenade that was World War I and World War II was because a driver missed a turn and because one terrorist, one 20-year-old guy, had a gun in his hand and said, that guy's a bad guy,

00:27:46.000 and shot him.

00:27:47.000 And our world has changed forever because of that strange missed turn.

00:27:53.000 And that's part of what's fascinating about history.

00:27:55.000 That's an amazing podcast.

00:27:56.000 Which one is that?

00:27:57.000 Do you remember the name of it?

00:27:58.000 Yes.

00:27:58.000 It's called Countdown to Armageddon.

00:28:00.000 Yes.

00:28:01.000 And it is awesome.

00:28:02.000 And I'm glad we get a chance to.

00:28:03.000 Blueprint for Armageddon.

00:28:05.000 Blueprint for Armageddon.

00:28:06.000 I'm so glad I had a chance to drive in a car with you.

00:28:09.000 We had a long trip.

00:28:10.000 Oh, man.

00:28:10.000 And we could listen to Dan Carlin's The Mongol thing.

00:28:13.000 You opened a whole can of worms for me, man.

00:28:15.000 Dude, because I've been telling you how crazy that was, like, forever.

00:28:19.000 I'm like, you just gotta listen to this podcast.

00:28:20.000 When people say that to me, though, it's hard to take them seriously.

00:28:22.000 Oh, I just gotta listen to another podcast.

00:28:25.000 I know.

00:28:25.000 Oh, Christ.

00:28:25.000 No, no, no.

00:28:26.000 Jesus Christ.

00:28:27.000 But if you just listen to Wrath of the Cons, you will be a changed human being.

00:28:30.000 A hundred percent. 0.98

00:28:31.000 You will understand what it was like to live in that time, as best as anybody could ever describe it, in a way that is so ultimately paralyzingly terrifying that 900 years later, whatever the fuck it is. 0.97

00:28:45.000 Oh, you mean because you're huddled in your church with your family and they're at the gates and they're bashing your gates down and you know they're going to come in and kill everybody? 0.91

00:28:53.000 That was like, what, 800 years ago?

00:28:55.000 Yeah, about 700 years ago. 0.99

00:28:57.000 Jesus fucking Christ, dude. 1.00

00:28:58.000 And you were going to get your head cut off. 1.00

00:29:00.000 You were going to die by stabbing or cutting. 1.00

00:29:03.000 It's going to suck. 1.00

00:29:03.000 And they were launching bodies. 1.00

00:29:06.000 They would light bodies on fire and launch them with catapults to land on the thatch roofs.

00:29:10.000 Human fat burns better, apparently, when you really light it on fire.

00:29:14.000 It can catch things on fire better. 1.00

00:29:16.000 They were so fucking ruthless. 0.99

00:29:19.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:29:19.000 Well, I was thinking about how they lived. 0.99

00:29:20.000 Like, you know, you and I, we go hunting.

00:29:23.000 So we live outside and for four days or three days sometimes.

00:29:26.000 And it's miserable.

00:29:28.000 And we wake up and we're freezing and we're wet and we're like, this blows.

00:29:31.000 Can't wait to get back to civilization.

00:29:32.000 But we do it because we love it.

00:29:34.000 It brings us close to objective reality.

00:29:36.000 We're like, I feel a little tougher, a little more manly.

00:29:39.000 You know, the Mongols, I was thinking about how they lived.

00:29:41.000 I was kind of trying to picture it.

00:29:42.000 They're on a horse by the time they're three.

00:29:43.000 They live in the Tartars.

00:29:45.000 Yeah.

00:29:45.000 Just stop and think about that.

00:29:46.000 Yeah.

00:29:46.000 Let's just start there.

00:29:47.000 Three.

00:29:48.000 Throw the kid on a horse.

00:29:49.000 I have a four-year-old. 1.00

00:29:50.000 She's not riding any fucking horses. 1.00

00:29:51.000 Fuck no! 1.00

00:29:52.000 The horses are giant! 1.00

00:29:53.000 A wild horse in the tartar steps?

00:29:56.000 Barely broken?

00:29:58.000 And they used to have like 20 of them per guy.

00:30:01.000 Yeah, they could whistle.

00:30:01.000 I had no idea.

00:30:03.000 And their horse would show up.

00:30:03.000 I never had heard that.

00:30:05.000 I didn't know how the...

00:30:06.000 That was one of the most terrifying things.

00:30:08.000 It's like how well organized they were.

00:30:10.000 Well, because that's how they would hunt.

00:30:12.000 So they would hunt on horseback.

00:30:13.000 They were such trick riders.

00:30:15.000 If you've been on a horse since you were three, you can do anything on a horse, right?

00:30:17.000 You can shoot an arrow on a horse.

00:30:19.000 You're just much faster.

00:30:20.000 But here was where the clinical reality came in.

00:30:23.000 I thought to myself, their lives were so violent to begin with.

00:30:26.000 First of First of all, the staple was mare milk and blood from their horse, which they would mix.

00:30:32.000 They'd mix the milk and the blood and they would drink it.

00:30:34.000 I wonder what that does to you chemically, what that taste of blood does to you?

00:30:38.000 Not good.

00:30:38.000 Probably not.

00:30:39.000 Fucking Christ. 1.00

00:30:40.000 How many parasites did they have in their body by the time they were like 10 years old? 1.00

00:30:44.000 God knows.

00:30:44.000 Or none.

00:30:45.000 And they would chase, because they would ferment the milk, and the way they would hunt animals, they would do the same with humans.

00:30:52.000 They would sort of push them all into one area, then create an opening for them to run through, and then they'd be waiting with a party there.

00:30:59.000 They were so, just daily existence was so physical and violent, you know?

00:31:03.000 And they had ultimate disdain for people that lived behind walls.

00:31:06.000 Yeah.

00:31:07.000 They lived in felt tents.

00:31:09.000 Yeah.

00:31:09.000 And that was like their whole thing.

00:31:11.000 It's like the actual description of what they were calling Genghis Khan.

00:31:16.000 Something about ruler of all who dwell in the felt tents.

00:31:20.000 Something crazy like that.

00:31:22.000 Dude, they would show up in town and they would say, look, I guess you guys weren't aware that you owe Genghis Khan money.

00:31:28.000 Yeah.

00:31:29.000 Or Genghis, they like to say Genghis.

00:31:31.000 It was Genghis when John Wayne did it.

00:31:33.000 I grew up with Genghis. 0.59

00:31:34.000 I'm calling him Genghis, dude. 1.00

00:31:35.000 I swear to God, that's the only thing with Dan Carlin.

00:31:37.000 I was like, dude, call it Genghis.

00:31:38.000 Genghis Khan.

00:31:40.000 His real name is Temuchin.

00:31:41.000 But Dan Carlin, what he does so good is make it utterly fascinating.

00:31:47.000 He's such an expert narrator.

00:31:50.000 He's a storyteller.

00:31:50.000 He's an expert.

00:31:52.000 I mean like a real master at it.

00:31:54.000 So when he's telling you these stories, it's not just really cool information, which it most absolutely is, but it's the way he's written it all and put it together and worded it. 0.92

00:32:05.000 It's just fucking brilliant!

00:32:07.000 He lives in Portland, right? 0.98

00:32:08.000 It's brilliant! 1.00

00:32:09.000 Give out his fucking address. 1.00

00:32:10.000 What if the Mongols come? 1.00

00:32:11.000 You're right. 1.00

00:32:12.000 Shit, man. 1.00

00:32:13.000 I'm just going to be in Portland a little bit. 1.00

00:32:14.000 I want to invite him.

00:32:14.000 What are you trying to do to him, man?

00:32:15.000 Getting weird.

00:32:16.000 Dan, if you're listening to this, come to my show in Portland.

00:32:18.000 He's a great guy.

00:32:19.000 You'll love to hang out with him.

00:32:20.000 He's a super cool guy.

00:32:22.000 Real fun.

00:32:22.000 I've had him on the podcast a few times.

00:32:24.000 Yeah, I'd love to meet him. 0.98

00:32:26.000 He's doing a goddamn national service with that thing. 0.99

00:32:28.000 100%. 1.00

00:32:29.000 World service, I should say.

00:32:30.000 I shouldn't say national, because it's on the internet.

00:32:32.000 I could not agree more.

00:32:33.000 It's so much more entertaining than any other history thing I've ever witnessed, watched, listened to.

00:32:41.000 I mean, I've spent enough time over the past 20 years at least listening to different kinds of, like, the turning points in European history and, you know, from the teaching company.

00:32:49.000 Really good professors.

00:32:50.000 Nothing compares to that guy.

00:32:52.000 Nothing.

00:32:52.000 Well, there's so many good podcasts right now.

00:32:54.000 You know, I was talking with someone yesterday about how many good TV shows there are today, as opposed to, like, when we were kids.

00:33:03.000 Yeah.

00:33:04.000 You know, like we were kids, like what was a really good show on TV? M.A.S.H. I guess M.A.S.H. was a really good sitcom.

00:33:11.000 Mary Tyler Moore.

00:33:12.000 What was like a really good drama?

00:33:14.000 Was there any...

00:33:14.000 Oh, Hill Street Blues?

00:33:15.000 Hill Street Blues.

00:33:16.000 That was great.

00:33:17.000 But that's the only one I can think of offhand.

00:33:19.000 But Hill Street Blues is later.

00:33:20.000 That was like in the...

00:33:21.000 wasn't that in...

00:33:22.000 It was the 80s?

00:33:22.000 85?

00:33:23.000 Was it really?

00:33:23.000 Actually it was 81. Why do I have that all fucked up in my head?

00:33:27.000 Oh, I think I have it fucked up with NYPD Blue. 0.97

00:33:29.000 That's what it is. 0.79

00:33:30.000 Yeah.

00:33:30.000 Yeah, that's what it is.

00:33:31.000 What else?

00:33:32.000 What was another good drama?

00:33:33.000 I can't think of a good drama right now.

00:33:34.000 But compare that to what's available today.

00:33:37.000 Compare that to Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, House of Cards, Homeland.

00:33:48.000 Jesus Christ!

00:33:49.000 It's nuts!

00:33:50.000 It's nuts.

00:33:51.000 You can't even keep up.

00:33:52.000 It's an assault of wizard shows. 0.96

00:33:53.000 They're so goddamn good. 0.91

00:33:54.000 And you've got to be good because they have those HBO shows now. 0.96

00:33:59.000 Those HBO shows took everything to a totally different level.

00:34:02.000 When they put out The Sopranos, the whole game changed.

00:34:07.000 Yeah.

00:34:07.000 All of a sudden you're like, Jesus, this is better than a movie.

00:34:10.000 This is a movie that's forever.

00:34:11.000 Because they made a character.

00:34:12.000 It used to be the rule was the character has to be somebody you like who you want to bring in your living room every week.

00:34:18.000 That was the rule.

00:34:18.000 And when you went to pitch a show and your character wasn't quote-unquote likable, people were like, nah, it's not going to work.

00:34:24.000 Along comes Tony Soprano.

00:34:27.000 Huge adulterer. 1.00

00:34:29.000 Murderer. 1.00

00:34:29.000 Kills his friends. 1.00

00:34:31.000 Oh! 0.95

00:34:31.000 He orders the assassination of his friend and tells his son to do his homework in the same breath. 0.95

00:34:35.000 Talk about a dichotomy.

00:34:37.000 And, of course, as human beings, we're like, well, that's real life.

00:34:41.000 That's how I feel sometimes.

00:34:42.000 He was the greatest mob character in the history of mob characters.

00:34:49.000 Over the top, down the hill, through the valley, up the mountain, through the ocean. 1.00

00:34:55.000 Everyone else can suck his dick. 1.00

00:34:57.000 All of them. 1.00

00:34:58.000 They all can suck his dick. 1.00

00:34:59.000 He's the greatest of all time. 1.00

00:35:01.000 I think me and Schaub and a couple other people were talking about the best overall character on TV ever.

00:35:06.000 Tony Soprano.

00:35:07.000 Yeah, I think it's got to be Tony Soprano.

00:35:09.000 Either that or Walter White.

00:35:11.000 Walter White's a good bet, too.

00:35:12.000 I was torn between the two, and I think I ultimately went with Walter.

00:35:15.000 But I might say now, because of peer pressure, Tony Soprano. 0.97

00:35:19.000 Yeah, you know, there's there's been some goddamn good ones. 0.74

00:35:22.000 There's it like But that his character had we had so much time to get to know him. 0.73

00:35:29.000 Yeah, you know And that's just what was so different was that it was wasn't like television style like Show making.

00:35:37.000 It was movie making.

00:35:39.000 But it was a new thing because it was really complex and you could do it over a long time.

00:35:46.000 You could have a season and you're telling a story over months and months and you're getting people addicted.

00:35:52.000 It's a completely different experience.

00:35:54.000 And you realize at a certain level that show changed everything.

00:36:00.000 That show changed everything.

00:36:02.000 It was just so next level. 0.98

00:36:04.000 I never give a fuck about mob shows. 0.97

00:36:07.000 Was there even one before that? 0.98

00:36:09.000 In a way it wasn't even a mob show.

00:36:11.000 In a way it was a guy running two families.

00:36:12.000 A crime family and his own family.

00:36:14.000 That was the idea.

00:36:18.000 You were looking at a human being, and what I think they did an amazing job was, as evil as he was, they were putting him in impossible situations. 1.00

00:36:25.000 You couldn't run that fucking crime family without being a complete motherfucker. 1.00

00:36:30.000 Yet, he had to run his own family, make his marriage work and all that shit. 1.00

00:36:34.000 I think a lot of people identified with how impossible life is that way. 0.90

00:36:38.000 Yeah, it's an extreme example, but you know, it's it is really it's like we could almost If you were born that guy and that guy's family and that guy's life and that guy's neighborhood with that guy's experiences You would be in the exact same situation as he is right now a chain of events from the time you were shot out of your mother's vajayjay That's right has led you to where you're at.

00:36:58.000 It's just like looking at those North Korean people man should they pull themselves up by their bootstraps like What should they do? 1.00

00:37:04.000 Like, to anyone to say that, hey, hey, you know what?

00:37:08.000 Hey, everybody's got it hard.

00:37:09.000 My friend Mike, he was born in Africa, but he said, I want to be American.

00:37:13.000 So he got in a car, he drove to the airport, he bought it.

00:37:15.000 No, you know those guys?

00:37:17.000 Like, if they wanted to, they could do it. 1.00

00:37:19.000 Like, do you know what the fuck you said, you anecdotal asshole? 1.00

00:37:22.000 You tell one shitty story about some supposed friend that probably doesn't even exist that was born in the steppe, I remember the argument with Saddam Hussein. 1.00

00:37:29.000 It was like, if you make the sanctions strong enough, his people will get so miserable that they'll overthrow the government. 0.94

00:37:35.000 Oh, Christ.

00:37:36.000 Oh, yeah? 1.00

00:37:36.000 You try overthrowing that guy when he kills your whole family. 1.00

00:37:38.000 Yeah, the ruthlessness that these people operate under.

00:37:41.000 Like, if you live in America and you haven't experienced war and you start talking about stuff like that, like, stop!

00:37:47.000 You've got no idea. 0.96

00:37:47.000 You're talking crazy. 0.96

00:37:49.000 Yeah.

00:37:49.000 Do you remember, there was a time during the debates, like, John McCain, I think...

00:37:55.000 I think anytime you've got Sarah Palin as your fucking running mate, you're hamstrung, right? 0.98

00:38:00.000 I mean, it's basically over. 0.99

00:38:02.000 Because no one rational is going to say yes to that.

00:38:05.000 You've got someone of really clearly marginal, marginable intelligence.

00:38:11.000 It's very marginal, right?

00:38:12.000 If you look at the way she communicates, she's obviously not very bright.

00:38:16.000 She's certainly very myopic in her experience and her perspective.

00:38:21.000 She's got that down-home folksy thing going on, but it seems very poorly thought out.

00:38:27.000 There are people that are down-home and folksy.

00:38:29.000 When you talk to them, their way of communicating, you can still get through that conversation.

00:38:35.000 This is an intelligent, nuanced person with a lot of This is just the way they talk.

00:38:42.000 Maybe they're from Wisconsin.

00:38:43.000 Maybe it's like Doug Durant.

00:38:45.000 Our friend Doug.

00:38:46.000 Yeah.

00:38:46.000 From Wisconsin.

00:38:47.000 Very much.

00:38:48.000 Very smart guy.

00:38:49.000 Brilliant.

00:38:49.000 Yeah.

00:38:50.000 Brilliant guy.

00:38:50.000 Yeah.

00:38:51.000 If you underestimated him because he's a farmer in Wisconsin.

00:38:54.000 Yeah.

00:38:55.000 You'd be in for a surprise.

00:38:56.000 Yeah.

00:38:57.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:38:57.000 Like, the idea that someone has to fit into any particular, you know, style of communication.

00:39:04.000 Right.

00:39:04.000 Just to be recognized.

00:39:05.000 Well, I got a kick.

00:39:06.000 We were in Napa, and we were talking about, what was the wine?

00:39:09.000 It was Caymus, which is a high-end wine, like $200 bottle.

00:39:12.000 And she was saying that the guy who makes the wine, I mean, when you buy Caymus wine in a restaurant, Please be ready to spend, if it's special select, $325.

00:39:19.000 And you'd think, this is a genius winemaker.

00:39:22.000 And she was like, he's a farmer.

00:39:23.000 At heart, he's a farmer.

00:39:25.000 He grows good grapes and then kind of does the thing that he was told.

00:39:28.000 But at the end of the day, Wagner's a farmer.

00:39:30.000 And you would underestimate him.

00:39:32.000 You saw him in his overalls, and you'd be like, well, that guy's one of the best winemakers in the world.

00:39:36.000 Well, those folks that we were talking to up in Napa, the Rinella's friends' friends, they were all farmers.

00:39:42.000 They were grape farmers.

00:39:43.000 They were the nicest people.

00:39:45.000 They really were.

00:39:46.000 How about that food?

00:39:46.000 They were so cool.

00:39:47.000 The food was delicious. 1.00

00:39:48.000 As soon as I saw that guy, and I saw that he was cooking tri-tips, I'm like, this motherfucker, I guarantee you could cook the shit out of a tri-tip. 0.99

00:39:55.000 I remember you said that. 0.99

00:39:55.000 Old California dudes, old rancher California dudes, they know how to cook those tri-tips. 0.99

00:40:01.000 Because a tri-tip is a very peculiar type of meat.

00:40:04.000 It's very lean, and you can't overcook it.

00:40:06.000 You've got to cook it the right amount.

00:40:07.000 There's not a lot of fat on it.

00:40:08.000 But if you know how to nail it, and for whatever reason, California ranchers, they had a special grill for it.

00:40:15.000 I think it's called a Santa Maria grill.

00:40:17.000 And it cranks.

00:40:18.000 And as you're cranking, you raise or lower it above the heat.

00:40:22.000 And you want to make it.

00:40:23.000 It's like you have to.

00:40:24.000 This is back. 1.00

00:40:25.000 They learned how to do this shit before they had thermometers. 1.00

00:40:27.000 It was just how the fork would go into it. 1.00

00:40:29.000 They could figure out how done it was just by how the fork felt.

00:40:32.000 How it slid into it.

00:40:34.000 So I saw that dude.

00:40:35.000 And I saw he was cooking tri-tips.

00:40:36.000 I'm like, oh, we're eating here, dude.

00:40:38.000 Because we were thinking about going to a restaurant.

00:40:40.000 Best restaurants in the world. 0.85

00:40:41.000 And we actually forewent them because it was so goddamn good. 0.98

00:40:44.000 That guy was cool as fuck when we started talking to him. 0.99

00:40:47.000 Damn it, do you remember his name? 0.99

00:40:48.000 No. 0.99

00:40:49.000 I want to say Mike.

00:40:50.000 I know his son is a model for...

00:40:53.000 Was it Rick or Mike?

00:40:54.000 His son, who was a nice guy, was there, is a model. 0.98

00:40:56.000 I forgot to give him a shit for it, but his son was a model for romance novels. 0.99

00:41:00.000 Vampire romance ones. 0.99

00:41:01.000 Yes!

00:41:01.000 A lot of vampire ones.

00:41:02.000 Ah, you know you've made it when you're a model for vampire romance novels. 1.00

00:41:06.000 Damn it, I forgot his name too, but he was cool. 0.92

00:41:08.000 Very, very friendly guy. 0.98

00:41:09.000 Yeah.

00:41:09.000 But he's just a devastatingly handsome guy.

00:41:12.000 But I interrupted you anyway.

00:41:12.000 I interrupted you with my tangential story about that because you reminded me of it.

00:41:16.000 You were making a larger point.

00:41:18.000 What was I saying? 1.00

00:41:19.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:41:19.000 Jamie? 1.00

00:41:20.000 Whatever it was, it couldn't be that important.

00:41:22.000 Exactly.

00:41:23.000 Keep it rolling! 0.52

00:41:24.000 Keep it rolling here!

00:41:25.000 I don't even remember at all.

00:41:27.000 Hey man, we went turkey hunting, you guys.

00:41:29.000 Look at this quote from the Denver police.

00:41:31.000 The Denver police, they put out a tweet.

00:41:34.000 No, that's not what it was, Jamie.

00:41:36.000 It was more hilarious.

00:41:38.000 Scroll down a little bit.

00:41:39.000 It was the 420 tweet.

00:41:42.000 There it is.

00:41:43.000 No.

00:41:44.000 They had like a rollin', rollin', rollin'.

00:41:47.000 It's on my Twitter, dude.

00:41:48.000 Just go to my Twitter and you'll find it.

00:41:51.000 But it's actually kind of hilarious.

00:41:54.000 I retweeted it, I think.

00:41:56.000 That's a good picture of you there.

00:41:57.000 That's some successful.

00:41:59.000 Look at that.

00:42:00.000 In Denver, I said even the police are high on 420. Look at this.

00:42:03.000 This is the police.

00:42:04.000 We see you rolling, but we ain't hating.

00:42:07.000 Ha ha.

00:42:08.000 Seriously, though.

00:42:09.000 Hashtag Denver.

00:42:10.000 Please remember to hashtag consume responsibly this 420 weekend.

00:42:14.000 Good for them.

00:42:15.000 That's the police department.

00:42:16.000 I like the police department in Denver.

00:42:18.000 They have little music things there.

00:42:20.000 What are those?

00:42:20.000 Emojis?

00:42:21.000 Little music emojis?

00:42:22.000 Good for them.

00:42:23.000 Good for them.

00:42:24.000 I love it.

00:42:24.000 Is that the nicest police department of all time?

00:42:26.000 I mean, they might be.

00:42:28.000 See, ladies and gentlemen, this is what happens when you let a state get stoned.

00:42:33.000 This is what happens.

00:42:34.000 This is exactly what I've been telling you forever, and it's in action right now.

00:42:37.000 This is the police are nicer.

00:42:40.000 First it was fluoride in the water, and nobody was getting cavities, and now it's weed.

00:42:43.000 Way to go, Colorado.

00:42:45.000 Is fluoride in the water good, dude?

00:42:47.000 Is that real?

00:42:48.000 I think in the 50s, what they found was there are certain communities in Colorado that were not getting cavities.

00:42:53.000 I think it's in Colorado.

00:42:54.000 And they couldn't figure out why.

00:42:56.000 Why weren't the kids getting cavities?

00:42:57.000 And they found there was a high level of fluoride in the water.

00:42:59.000 Naturally.

00:43:00.000 Yeah.

00:43:00.000 That does happen, right?

00:43:03.000 There's some waters that have higher levels of fluoride, like natural fluoride.

00:43:07.000 Yeah.

00:43:08.000 And apparently, that's one of the things that's supposed to be not good when you drink distilled water.

00:43:13.000 Right.

00:43:14.000 Because you want all those minerals and all that other jazz that's in water.

00:43:18.000 Very much so.

00:43:19.000 I think, and I believe if you use distilled water on a plant, a lot of times a plant dies.

00:43:23.000 That's what I was told.

00:43:24.000 From a farmer.

00:43:25.000 But some people think that fluoride ultimately is not good for your body.

00:43:29.000 Is there any science that goes with that?

00:43:31.000 Because people love to quote, they always say this one thing, hey man, it calcifies your pineal gland.

00:43:36.000 And I'm like, have you done any lab biopsies?

00:43:40.000 We have a pretty big control group, like the entire population of the United States over the past 50 years.

00:43:46.000 I don't see a lot of people with calcified pineal glands.

00:43:49.000 I don't know if that's even a real thing, first of all.

00:43:52.000 I don't either, I don't know.

00:43:53.000 Isn't it their third eye?

00:43:54.000 Isn't it pineal gland? 0.99

00:43:55.000 Yeah, that's what they're saying.

00:43:57.000 Well, mine always feels all stiff.

00:43:59.000 I can't see out of it, I'll tell you that much.

00:44:00.000 And then there's this other one that they say, maybe Snopes this, Jamie, they say, did you know that fluoride in the water was pioneered by the Nazis for mind control? 0.54

00:44:09.000 Dude, did you know that, man?

00:44:11.000 So think about that.

00:44:13.000 Think about that, man.

00:44:15.000 I drink rainwater.

00:44:16.000 I will think about it because you haven't thought about it.

00:44:18.000 Listen, dude, you don't even know.

00:44:21.000 I'm online every day.

00:44:22.000 What was the last time you read a book besides Twilight?

00:44:24.000 Infowars.com.

00:44:25.000 I knew it.

00:44:26.000 Manual of Life.

00:44:28.000 Infowars.com.

00:44:31.000 I've read a book besides Twilight.

00:44:33.000 If you're a guy and you're reading Twilight, just come out of the closet.

00:44:36.000 Just come out of the closet.

00:44:38.000 You can be like what you like.

00:44:40.000 It's alright.

00:44:41.000 Like what you like, man.

00:44:42.000 I was at the Chateau Marmont and that guy sat at the table.

00:44:46.000 What guy?

00:44:46.000 Me and my buddy Frank Willow were the main vampire, the heartthrob.

00:44:50.000 Oh, the fucking guy from Twilight? 0.99

00:44:52.000 Uh-huh. 1.00

00:44:53.000 Robert...

00:44:55.000 Pattinson?

00:44:56.000 Yes, and he sat at my table, and I stared at him.

00:44:58.000 I didn't say hi.

00:44:59.000 He was very nice.

00:45:01.000 He got up and he's like, nice to meet everybody.

00:45:02.000 I was like, see you later.

00:45:05.000 That's my story about him.

00:45:07.000 That's an amazing story.

00:45:08.000 Thank you, buddy.

00:45:09.000 Dude, you should write that down.

00:45:11.000 I met him.

00:45:13.000 There's a guy named Jon Stewart that I used to work with on Fear Factor.

00:45:17.000 The greatest, hilarious dude.

00:45:20.000 Just a guy who'd been in show business forever, and he was a straight total pro.

00:45:26.000 Alright, ladies and gentlemen, it can't get any better than this.

00:45:29.000 He's just one of those guys.

00:45:30.000 He would move the contestants through.

00:45:32.000 Everybody was smiling when they talked to him. 1.00

00:45:34.000 Just one of those motherfuckers. 1.00

00:45:36.000 He's Kristen Stewart's dad. 1.00

00:45:39.000 Oh, wow.

00:45:40.000 Yeah.

00:45:41.000 Makes sense.

00:45:41.000 Yeah, of course.

00:45:42.000 She was raised by a wild man. 1.00

00:45:43.000 He's a cool motherfucker. 1.00

00:45:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:45:45.000 He's the coolest.

00:45:45.000 Long hair, scraggly hair.

00:45:47.000 That's great.

00:45:48.000 His daughter's a movie star.

00:45:49.000 Old school dude, man.

00:45:50.000 He's been around forever.

00:45:51.000 Just a super sweet guy, too.

00:45:52.000 She probably grew up around sets, acting.

00:45:54.000 Mm-hmm.

00:45:55.000 Yeah, probably.

00:45:55.000 But back then, like, she did a couple movies, and I was like, dude, why are you letting your daughter do that?

00:45:59.000 Doesn't it freak you out that she's, like, gonna get famous at a young age?

00:46:03.000 And she wasn't worried about it. 0.99

00:46:04.000 And then, obviously, she became this giant fucking movie star. 1.00

00:46:08.000 So I'm like, dude, lucky you didn't listen to me. 0.99

00:46:11.000 Yeah, get her out of asking.

00:46:12.000 I was telling you to pull your daughter out. 1.00

00:46:14.000 She could be selling insurance right now. 1.00

00:46:16.000 She became a gigantic fucking movie star. 1.00

00:46:18.000 So don't listen to me ever. 1.00

00:46:19.000 How about that?

00:46:19.000 If I give you advice.

00:46:21.000 But who knows, man.

00:46:23.000 Truth about fluoride doesn't include the Nazi myth.

00:46:25.000 Okay, so the Nazi is a myth. 0.54

00:46:27.000 History shows, actually, that in Nazi Germany, one of the first things they did was add fluoride to the water in the ghettos where the Jews stayed.

00:46:35.000 Matt Leffler of Cleveland told the county commissioner Tuesday before—well, what does it say here?

00:46:40.000 If he's saying—okay, this is not saying whether it's real or not real or who knows.

00:46:47.000 This is just a story on it.

00:46:50.000 We should figure out, like, what is the actual truth?

00:46:52.000 Where does the story come from?

00:46:53.000 Here it goes.

00:46:54.000 What does the story come from?

00:46:55.000 There's no teeth to this claim.

00:46:56.000 Yeah, I can almost guarantee you that it is indeed an urban myth, said Andy Hollinger, who handles the media relations at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum.

00:47:06.000 Well, okay.

00:47:10.000 Hmm.

00:47:10.000 Okay.

00:47:12.000 It seems like it's not real then, right?

00:47:14.000 Or it could be.

00:47:16.000 Was it about Nazis fluoridating water?

00:47:18.000 It was communists?

00:47:19.000 What?

00:47:20.000 Okay.

00:47:20.000 So it seems like more than likely it was an urban myth.

00:47:24.000 Now, what about, this is the thing, Jamie, Google this.

00:47:29.000 Fluoride calcifies the pineal gland, because I just want to.

00:47:32.000 Let's get to the bottom of this.

00:47:33.000 Get to the bottom of this nonsense. 1.00

00:47:34.000 Fluoride shit. 1.00

00:47:35.000 How many studies have been done on the pineal gland? 1.00

00:47:38.000 What happens if, what's fluoride doing in there?

00:47:40.000 When are they gonna clone hair?

00:47:41.000 That's what I want to know, ladies and gentlemen.

00:47:44.000 You can get hairier.

00:47:46.000 Fluoride deposition aged human pineal gland.

00:47:49.000 Hmm.

00:47:50.000 Ooh.

00:47:51.000 So, is it saying?

00:47:52.000 The purpose was to discover...

00:47:53.000 Scroll down.

00:47:55.000 Purpose was to discover whether fluoride accumulates in the aged human pineal gland.

00:48:00.000 The aims were to determine a...

00:48:03.000 F concentrations of the pineal gland, wet, whatever that means, corresponding muscle, wet, and bone, ash.

00:48:11.000 B, calcium concentration of the pineal.

00:48:16.000 Pineal muscle and bone were dissected from 11 aged cadavers.

00:48:21.000 Okay, what is it saying?

00:48:24.000 Too much reading.

00:48:25.000 I'll take a I'll take a calcium pineal gland and then holes in my teeth. 0.99

00:48:28.000 Holes in my teeth suck. 0.99

00:48:29.000 Here it goes, right here. 0.95

00:48:31.000 Fluoride does not accumulate in the brain.

00:48:34.000 Well, wait a minute.

00:48:34.000 Okay, so it's not.

00:48:35.000 So you would really do that though?

00:48:37.000 You would take calcium in your pineal gland?

00:48:39.000 It means saying it's not real, but what if it was real?

00:48:42.000 Yeah.

00:48:42.000 You would take that over holes in your teeth?

00:48:43.000 That's right.

00:48:44.000 I don't want holes in my teeth.

00:48:45.000 I don't use my pineal gland.

00:48:48.000 Do I? I do?

00:48:50.000 It makes melatonin. 1.00

00:48:51.000 Oh shit. 0.99

00:48:52.000 They believe now that it makes dimethyltryptamine, that really heavy-duty psychedelic. 1.00

00:48:56.000 Oh, okay.

00:48:58.000 It makes a bunch of different things. 1.00

00:49:00.000 Shit. 1.00

00:49:01.000 Well, I'll take melatonin pills and have good teeth. 1.00

00:49:03.000 You know what it looks like?

00:49:04.000 The weird thing about the pineal gland.

00:49:06.000 Have you ever seen the...

00:49:07.000 Look up Egyptian image pineal gland. 0.99

00:49:11.000 The actual side...

00:49:15.000 View of the pineal gland.

00:49:17.000 I didn't even know it was actually real.

00:49:18.000 I always thought it was like the third eye.

00:49:20.000 Yeah, it's a real. 0.98

00:49:21.000 That's what's really fucked up. 0.97

00:49:22.000 Look what it looks like. 0.98

00:49:23.000 It looks like that thing.

00:49:24.000 Hmm.

00:49:25.000 A lot.

00:49:26.000 That Egyptian symbol. 0.66

00:49:28.000 Oh, wow.

00:49:28.000 A lot.

00:49:29.000 Like, if you look at the actual structure of the pineal gland and that eye, what is that eye supposed to represent?

00:49:34.000 That's interesting. 1.00

00:49:35.000 Probably someone super smart is watching you, bitch. 1.00

00:49:38.000 That's what it looks like to me. 0.99

00:49:39.000 I mean, it's super, super similar in appearance, what the pineal gland looks like and what that thing looks like if it's dissected.

00:49:48.000 I'm sure the Egyptians did their share of cutting brains up. 1.00

00:49:52.000 I mean you look at that thing nestled in there.

00:49:53.000 So that's where the pineal gland is, way inside the brain?

00:49:56.000 I thought it was right in your forehead.

00:49:58.000 No, it's like, it's like, look where your eyeballs are, right?

00:50:02.000 Yeah.

00:50:02.000 And then it's like literally like right here and back.

00:50:06.000 Like right where your brain still is, right in there.

00:50:10.000 Apparently they think that this uncertain like lower animals, like snakes I think, or reptiles, that thing actually has a retina and a lens on it.

00:50:21.000 I don't see where it says pineal gland on this thing.

00:50:25.000 I think that's back up there, Jamie.

00:50:30.000 That's what the gland is. 0.96

00:50:31.000 I mean, that's where it is.

00:50:33.000 It looks like that's the thalamus.

00:50:34.000 No, see, where does it show it?

00:50:36.000 Does it have a button?

00:50:37.000 I think that's the thalamus, buddy.

00:50:39.000 At least according to that.

00:50:41.000 Pineal gland, part one, right there.

00:50:44.000 See?

00:50:45.000 Pineal gland on the right, and there, the eye.

00:50:48.000 Okay.

00:50:48.000 That's what they're saying here.

00:50:50.000 Neither of us know what the fucking pineal gland looks like. 0.99

00:50:54.000 Oh, there it is. 0.99

00:50:54.000 The pineal gland looks like it's at the base. 0.99

00:50:57.000 How freaky is that?

00:51:00.000 I don't know.

00:51:01.000 It's nuts.

00:51:03.000 Just the knowledge that your brain is making all these weird chemicals all the time, and keeping them in balance is super important.

00:51:11.000 And you can do it with exercise, and you can do it with having positive thinking, getting outside in the sun.

00:51:18.000 It's also, what is the brain?

00:51:20.000 What really is it?

00:51:22.000 Yeah, what really is it?

00:51:23.000 You know, that's what kind of blows my mind.

00:51:26.000 It's some sort of, as it's functioning, you know, as it's all lit up, right?

00:51:31.000 It's some sort of a portal to everything in the universe.

00:51:35.000 And that's really what the brain is.

00:51:37.000 And eventually that thing will get to a point where it's capable of communicating with anybody within any reasonable distance instantaneously.

00:51:50.000 So as this brain continues to get stronger, accumulate more information, accumulate more technological breakthroughs that allow it to do more things and manipulate matter more, as long as it stays alive, As long as the human organism stays alive,

00:52:06.000 you've thought of it as a giant super thing.

00:52:09.000 It's something that if you're looking at the in terms of like the creation of the earth, right?

00:52:15.000 The earth is billions of years old.

00:52:17.000 It took a long fucking time to go from the first version of the earth all the rocks The lava and the water and shit to what we have today takes a long ass time Well, I think the human organism takes a long ass time to become what it really is and what it really is is like the universe figured out how to build something that can make a universe and Well, 0.95

00:52:42.000 I was going to say that the human brain is going to get to a point where it's able to replicate itself and then improve on itself. 0.97

00:52:48.000 You'll be able to download other people's brains and you'll be able to send your download to other people's brains and you'll have an experience of what it's like to be that person.

00:52:56.000 There's some people that resist this, because they say, look, we already right now don't know nearly enough about the biological functions of the human body.

00:53:03.000 We already right now don't know.

00:53:05.000 I absolutely understand that, and I agree that they're right.

00:53:09.000 I'm not disputing that at all.

00:53:11.000 What I am saying, though, is it might not even matter. 0.96

00:53:14.000 They might be able to come up with technology that completely circumvents all the biological bullshit that we have to deal with as far as processing proteins and phytonutrients and all that horseshit. 0.96

00:53:24.000 We could possibly bypass that one day. 0.92

00:53:27.000 Like by meshing with machines?

00:53:29.000 Yes, I think it's going to happen.

00:53:31.000 I really do.

00:53:32.000 I know you had Aubrey de Grey on your podcast.

00:53:34.000 I had him on mine.

00:53:35.000 I'm having them on again.

00:53:36.000 Oh.

00:53:36.000 I had them on my show, but I'm having them on the podcast real soon.

00:53:40.000 Yeah, because I was talking, and he was talking about there are seven different, I guess, a cell, there are seven different ways a cell degenerates.

00:53:46.000 And they're working on figuring out ways to stop that degeneration.

00:53:50.000 It's a mechanical issue at this point, but they're isolating how a cell breaks down, why it does, and they're going to try to figure out a way to stop it.

00:53:57.000 You know, I said nanotechnology and stuff.

00:54:01.000 There's a chance that all your work could be circumnavigated by just that inexorable rise toward, you know, just kind of pushing us way beyond our biology with machines.

00:54:10.000 And he was like, yeah, maybe, you know?

00:54:12.000 I just think if you look at it in terms of the long haul, let's just assume that people are able to stay alive and not blow each other up or not get hit by a meteor for the long haul.

00:54:23.000 Let's give us a hundred years. 0.92

00:54:25.000 Do you have any idea how goddamn crazy technology is going to be in a hundred years? 0.87

00:54:31.000 So if anybody looks like it's poo-pooing us, we don't have the capabilities, don't you think that that's what they said back when they lived in caves? 0.95

00:54:39.000 Yeah.

00:54:39.000 We gotta block that hole.

00:54:41.000 We can't do it.

00:54:41.000 We don't know how.

00:54:42.000 They had to figure out how to make a fucking door, okay? 0.99

00:54:45.000 Somebody had to figure out how to make a door to a cave. 1.00

00:54:47.000 Somebody had to figure out fire.

00:54:48.000 Somebody had to figure out stone tools.

00:54:50.000 And then we learn from them.

00:54:52.000 It all keeps steamrolling.

00:54:54.000 And apparently, the brain is evolving as well.

00:54:58.000 The brain is evolving in the way that it interfaces with computers, the way we process information.

00:55:03.000 It's all our way of...

00:55:06.000 The allocation of resources mentally is very different now than it was before you could just ask Google a question.

00:55:13.000 Some weird shit's gonna happen to the very brain itself if we start adding things to it, if we start putting in little transmitters or little things, little ways to wirelessly interface with each other.

00:55:26.000 You and I have talked about this, that experiment that they did where they sent a word, they sent a couple words from one person to the other person through the internet and they received the word. 0.96

00:55:37.000 They were blindfolded.

00:55:39.000 They take all these steps to make sure that the way they were receiving it was only brain to brain. 1.00

00:55:44.000 Like, dude, we're getting, like, these are the baby steps of some really crazy shit. 0.97

00:55:51.000 And if we could just stay alive, if you could stay alive for like a hundred years, the world will be unrecognizable. 0.98

00:55:57.000 Well, they say that's the case in 40 or 50. Ray Kurzweil says in 40 or 50 years it's going to be...

00:56:02.000 You might be right.

00:56:02.000 Yeah, because it's moving so exponentially.

00:56:05.000 And the minute machines start replicating themselves or building better machines, it comes with a very dark side, but it also comes from a very promising side.

00:56:13.000 Biologists reject it.

00:56:14.000 Biologists reject it.

00:56:16.000 That makes sense though.

00:56:16.000 A lot of them do.

00:56:17.000 But a lot of them do because they think that they don't know enough about the human mind to even come close to saying that we could replicate it or download consciousness into a computer.

00:56:28.000 And that seems to be the truth.

00:56:30.000 What I think is it's going to be the case of technology reaching a level of capability that we can't even fathom.

00:56:42.000 We can't fathom it.

00:56:44.000 It's too far away from our little pea brains right now.

00:56:48.000 There could be kind of an interface that we can't even imagine.

00:56:52.000 I think that if you can imagine it, I think that the human imagination exists because that is a window into what is actually possible.

00:57:02.000 In other words, you know, I think that if you can imagine it, it's going to be a matter of time before it actually becomes something you can measure and see with your eye, your ear, or an instrument.

00:57:12.000 I think it's going to be something you can actually touch.

00:57:15.000 I think anything that, like you're talking about, downloading the human brain, communicating the way we communicate with radio waves, the way we text, texting each other with our brains, I don't think that's magic.

00:57:26.000 I don't think it's far-fetched.

00:57:27.000 I think if you look at the way science seems to be developing, it's a matter of when, not if.

00:57:33.000 It's so weird.

00:57:33.000 If you think about what a human being is, if you think about, like, I've been watching a lot of nature documentaries lately, man.

00:57:40.000 I've gone through one of these weird stages where I just started watching documentaries on various animals.

00:57:47.000 And just the cruelty of the environment that they live in, the cannibalism and the attacking each other and just...

00:57:55.000 Life eats life. 1.00

00:57:56.000 Oh, it's fucking chaos, man. 1.00

00:57:58.000 We watched this documentary on baboons. 1.00

00:58:00.000 These baboons fucking each other up. 1.00

00:58:02.000 And you're like, Jesus Christ! 1.00

00:58:05.000 Trying to protect their babies.

00:58:06.000 The show should have been called Dead Baby Baboon. 1.00

00:58:10.000 Because they showed like 10 fucking dead baby baboons. 0.98

00:58:14.000 This scientist on TED Talk was talking about how humans are not the only animals that just kill each other because, you know, Because, you know, the animals kill out of dominance or food and stuff. 0.99

00:58:25.000 No, no, no.

00:58:26.000 He said, let me tell you something.

00:58:27.000 This baboon showed up.

00:58:28.000 He studies baboons.

00:58:29.000 Baboon shows up in this whole group. 1.00

00:58:31.000 And he's kind of an asshole. 1.00

00:58:32.000 He's just loud. 1.00

00:58:33.000 He's just not being respectful to the other males. 1.00

00:58:35.000 He's just running around, kind of trying to fuck the women without going through the necessary baboon steps you got to. 1.00

00:58:42.000 And he's just loud and being a pain in the ass. 1.00

00:58:44.000 Well, the next morning, he said, he goes, I knew this baboon was going to get it. 1.00

00:58:48.000 I just didn't know how.

00:58:49.000 Next morning?

00:58:50.000 He shows the picture.

00:58:51.000 All they find is the baboon's face.

00:58:53.000 The baboon's face basically tore him asunder, threw him in every direction, and just his perfect face going, ah! 1.00

00:59:00.000 Like that, just a silent scream was left on the ground.

00:59:03.000 Whoa.

00:59:04.000 That's what they do. 1.00

00:59:05.000 Cut his face off. 1.00

00:59:06.000 Cut his face off. 1.00

00:59:07.000 With what? 1.00

00:59:07.000 Their teeth? 1.00

00:59:08.000 Yeah, they just bit his head off.

00:59:09.000 They bit his head away from his face, basically.

00:59:12.000 Yeah.

00:59:13.000 They got some big teeth.

00:59:14.000 They do.

00:59:15.000 They have ferocious looking teeth, man.

00:59:17.000 They're weird. 1.00

00:59:17.000 They're like a dog fucked a monkey. 1.00

00:59:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:59:20.000 That's what it's like.

00:59:20.000 Exactly right.

00:59:21.000 It's really what it's like.

00:59:22.000 It doesn't look like any other animal.

00:59:23.000 It's such a weird dog-monkey combination.

00:59:25.000 Shitty pet.

00:59:27.000 Shitty pet.

00:59:28.000 You think?

00:59:29.000 If a baboon was in a movie, like if they didn't exist, but they were in like Lord of the Rings, it would be a terrifying animal.

00:59:36.000 Like an animal that lived in the forest that was thinking about stealing your baby, you know?

00:59:41.000 They eat human babies, man. 0.99

00:59:43.000 Well, my...

00:59:44.000 So would chimps, too, by the way.

00:59:45.000 We threw a birthday party for one of my kids, and they brought a baboon.

00:59:49.000 Oh, no.

00:59:50.000 Yeah, and I was like, that's a big baboon. 0.98

00:59:52.000 Yeah, we're just not going to pet her.

00:59:53.000 She was very submissive.

00:59:55.000 She would fall to the ground and let you pick bugs from her back. 1.00

00:59:58.000 That's how they show submission.

01:00:00.000 Right.

01:00:01.000 But, nervous!

01:00:02.000 She was nervous!

01:00:03.000 She had big teeth! 1.00

01:00:04.000 And she was large!

01:00:05.000 I was like, let's keep about 10 yards back. 1.00

01:00:08.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:00:10.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:00:10.000 Well, that's not fair. 1.00

01:00:11.000 That animal shouldn't be there.

01:00:12.000 It's not fair to the animal.

01:00:14.000 I agree.

01:00:14.000 You're putting the animal without even understanding its language.

01:00:17.000 You're putting it in this incredible stressful situation where it's around kids. 1.00

01:00:21.000 Look at the fucking teeth on that thing. 1.00

01:00:24.000 That's a male. 1.00

01:00:25.000 Oh my god! 1.00

01:00:27.000 They're monsters. 0.96

01:00:28.000 Yeah. 0.85

01:00:29.000 Just monsters.

01:00:30.000 Look at the teeth.

01:00:32.000 It's like a werewolf.

01:00:33.000 It is. 0.89

01:00:34.000 What an insanely crazy looking animal.

01:00:37.000 Like, if that was in a movie, and that was chasing after Bilbo Baggins, You would totally buy it.

01:00:44.000 You'd be like, oh my god, that's a werewolf.

01:00:46.000 How is that not a werewolf? 1.00

01:00:48.000 I mean, look at the fucking teeth on that thing. 1.00

01:00:51.000 Those are giant teeth, man. 1.00

01:00:54.000 Those fangs are so disproportionately large.

01:00:59.000 Do the females have teeth like that? 1.00

01:01:01.000 Probably. 1.00

01:01:02.000 Damn, look at that thing. 1.00

01:01:04.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:01:06.000 Oh my god!

01:01:08.000 Dude, blow that picture up. 1.00

01:01:09.000 Look at the fucking face on that thing. 1.00

01:01:13.000 Yeah, but look at the female genitalia in the other picture. 1.00

01:01:16.000 That's what I'm looking at. 0.96

01:01:17.000 Look at that. 0.99

01:01:18.000 Yeah, that's just retarded. 1.00

01:01:20.000 But what a face, too! 0.98

01:01:22.000 Like, this is real. 0.99

01:01:23.000 Like, okay, if human beings didn't exist, if we just didn't exist at all on Earth, This fucking thing would be out there just like it is now. 0.99

01:01:36.000 If we never existed. 0.99

01:01:38.000 If we never figured out houses. 0.99

01:01:41.000 We died off a long fucking time ago. 0.98

01:01:43.000 That thing would be out there just like that. 0.99

01:01:46.000 That thing would be out there a million years from now.

01:01:49.000 Just like that. 1.00

01:01:50.000 Look at that fucking monster. 1.00

01:01:53.000 I mean, we made it to 2015 with cell phones and jet airplanes and microwave ovens and TVs and laptops and that fucking primate that came up with us? 1.00

01:02:04.000 This fucker didn't make it out of the neighborhood. 0.99

01:02:07.000 That's what they always say is the fundamental difference between human beings and animals, even though we're an animal. 1.00

01:02:11.000 We're the only animal with potential.

01:02:13.000 We're the only animal that continues to evolve.

01:02:16.000 We evolve within our own lives.

01:02:18.000 Yeah.

01:02:19.000 And if you're really observant of yourself and correcting of yourself, you'll continually evolve.

01:02:25.000 Yeah.

01:02:25.000 You're going to be smarter and better.

01:02:27.000 Ten generations in that baboon, they're all going to be the same way. 1.00

01:02:30.000 Well, that's interesting that you said that, because I keep saying Radiolab, but there was another podcast they did about instincts and Really?

01:02:50.000 A dictator?

01:02:55.000 Something happened, I forget what the actual event was, that caused them to be submissive to each other and grooming each other.

01:03:02.000 And then they just kind of kept up with it.

01:03:04.000 And then they came back years later expecting to see the same sort of violent behavior that they had witnessed before.

01:03:10.000 But no, they had developed this peaceful baboon tribe. 0.99

01:03:15.000 Because there was no threat.

01:03:17.000 Well, it was a way lesser threat. 1.00

01:03:18.000 They're still fucking baboons. 1.00

01:03:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:03:20.000 But apparently the way they dealt with each other was way more relaxed. 1.00

01:03:24.000 And it was really confusing to these biologists who observed it.

01:03:28.000 It was very unexpected, I should say.

01:03:30.000 I shouldn't say confusing.

01:03:31.000 I mean, it was a welcome discovery, I'm sure.

01:03:33.000 You're realizing, like, wow, how much of behavior, okay, like we're talking about North Korea and we're talking about America in 2015. Look at the difference between the way the cultures are allowed to communicate and express themselves.

01:03:45.000 Just by this podcast, you could see the difference between someone who lives in a crazy...

01:03:51.000 But this crazy dictatorship that they're living in is happening in the same timeline.

01:03:56.000 It's happening right now. 0.99

01:03:57.000 Well, it goes back to also when you first started this podcast about talking about most people are great and there's a couple of assholes. 0.99

01:04:02.000 It takes only a couple of assholes in charge to change the character of an entire society to and make people behave in a very crazy way. 0.99

01:04:11.000 Those baboons changed when you took away the alpha. 1.00

01:04:13.000 I wonder if North Koreans would be crying for three hours straight if they didn't have a fucking alpha male running their tribe who was that much of a fucking monster. 1.00

01:04:22.000 Obviously not. 1.00

01:04:23.000 I wish I could remember the exact specifics of what caused them to chill out.

01:04:27.000 I didn't remember.

01:04:28.000 Too much information in my head.

01:04:30.000 I'm having a real problem with that lately.

01:04:32.000 I gotta regulate the amount of information that's going in my head and then go over it with a fine-tooth comb.

01:04:37.000 I feel like I'm taking in, all day, way too much data.

01:04:42.000 I feel that way, too.

01:04:43.000 I can't really remember names and specifics.

01:04:46.000 I have to start talking in general terms because I'm afraid I'll make a mistake.

01:04:50.000 I'm talking really about individual stories and individual subjects of news, especially, because I feel like if you got online every day and started scouring the news and looking for interesting things and seeing the The latest video.

01:05:04.000 Did you see the silverback gorilla that slammed into the cage at the zoo?

01:05:07.000 No.

01:05:08.000 Oh, ready?

01:05:09.000 Tighten up your belt.

01:05:11.000 My favorite.

01:05:11.000 Okay, there's a little kid that starts doing some chest thumps.

01:05:14.000 No.

01:05:14.000 Yes, she does.

01:05:16.000 And the silverback ain't hearing it.

01:05:18.000 Watch this. 1.00

01:05:19.000 This is fucking crazy, dude. 0.99

01:05:22.000 So you see the little kid. 1.00

01:05:23.000 You can see her in the corner.

01:05:23.000 She's pounding her hands on her chest.

01:05:25.000 Look at this.

01:05:28.000 Why is there...

01:05:29.000 We never fixed that? 0.99

01:05:30.000 Damn! 0.99

01:05:31.000 The shitty video quality thing? 1.00

01:05:33.000 Those little things we bought didn't fix it? 0.76

01:05:35.000 Look at Coco the Gorilla with Robin Williams.

01:05:38.000 We still have that really super shaky video for some reason.

01:05:41.000 Yeah, Coco the gorilla.

01:05:42.000 I can't believe he let that thing touch him.

01:05:45.000 They're a lot less dangerous than that.

01:05:47.000 They say gorillas have their own personality, so some can be really mean and some can be really sweet. 1.00

01:05:51.000 I'm sure she was super sweet, but if she wanted to just pull your dick off and stuff it through your eyeball, she could anytime she wanted to. 1.00

01:05:58.000 I think Coco might be a guy, isn't it? 1.00

01:06:00.000 Is it?

01:06:00.000 I think it's a girl.

01:06:02.000 Look at her.

01:06:03.000 Oh, wow.

01:06:04.000 So he just pulls him down to him.

01:06:06.000 Dude, look at that. 0.67

01:06:08.000 Oh my god.

01:06:09.000 Can you go full screen on that?

01:06:10.000 Or is that when it screws up?

01:06:13.000 Look at Robin Williams.

01:06:14.000 He's a good man.

01:06:15.000 Oh my god.

01:06:15.000 Well, that's like an alien, dude.

01:06:17.000 You know?

01:06:17.000 Oh, look at that.

01:06:18.000 Wow, it kisses his hand. 1.00

01:06:20.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:06:22.000 What an amazing time. 0.99

01:06:24.000 This is a bizarre video.

01:06:26.000 I guess I wouldn't be so nervous.

01:06:28.000 That thing looks really peaceful.

01:06:30.000 Look at him!

01:06:31.000 Wow, it took his glasses and put his glasses on?

01:06:34.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:06:35.000 See, that's when it gets really weird.

01:06:37.000 And you go, what are we dealing with here?

01:06:40.000 This is like a life form that speaks...

01:06:44.000 Some sort of a sign language with human beings, so it understands what you're saying.

01:06:48.000 It just can't vocalize the noises that we wanted to in order to communicate. 0.51

01:06:54.000 But man, that is a crazy animal right there. 1.00

01:06:58.000 If that thing didn't exist, fuck Bigfoot. 1.00

01:07:01.000 I'll just say it right now. 1.00

01:07:02.000 Fuck Bigfoot and his dirty, crusty ass. 1.00

01:07:06.000 Bigfoot's not nearly as cool as a goddamn gorilla. 1.00

01:07:08.000 Look, he's saying tickle me. 1.00

01:07:09.000 You're gonna tickle a gorilla. 1.00

01:07:11.000 Hee hee hee!

01:07:11.000 Isn't that nuts?

01:07:12.000 He signs tickle.

01:07:13.000 I just want to see how much stronger that thing is than me.

01:07:16.000 Oh, what are you talking about?

01:07:17.000 You can't even fathom it.

01:07:19.000 It's a different level.

01:07:20.000 It's not even the same.

01:07:21.000 It's just not fair.

01:07:22.000 It's like, how much stronger are you than a flower?

01:07:24.000 Well, how about just Brendan who grabbed me around the waist the other day and he was like, yesterday I was trying to get out.

01:07:29.000 First of all, I tried to shoot a single leg on him.

01:07:31.000 Look at that. 0.99

01:07:31.000 No, keep going. 0.99

01:07:32.000 Look at this.

01:07:34.000 This is so crazy.

01:07:36.000 It's just looking at that body.

01:07:38.000 Look at him laughing.

01:07:39.000 It's so nuts.

01:07:40.000 That'd be a great pet. 0.65

01:07:41.000 They're laughing and tickling each other.

01:07:42.000 A great pet.

01:07:43.000 You're hilarious.

01:07:44.000 I want one so bad. 0.73

01:07:45.000 Keep a gorilla in your house until he decides that he wants to eat your food right now. 1.00

01:07:50.000 Yeah, wow.

01:07:50.000 They actually are strict vegetarians, which people find shocking.

01:07:54.000 Yeah, they are.

01:07:55.000 And people are like, hey man.

01:07:57.000 Not the chimpanzee.

01:07:59.000 This is totally evidence that you can eat an all-plant diet and you can be immensely massive and muscular.

01:08:06.000 Or it's evidence that gorillas are different than people. 0.95

01:08:11.000 Well, they always say, well, bulls are so strong and they're total vegetarians.

01:08:14.000 All right, go eat grass and then run a mile.

01:08:16.000 See how you feel.

01:08:17.000 Yeah, good luck with that.

01:08:19.000 You have four stomachs? 0.99

01:08:20.000 Whatever the fuck it is? 0.99

01:08:21.000 Yeah, we're different, man. 1.00

01:08:22.000 That's a gorilla.

01:08:23.000 It's different than a person.

01:08:24.000 It needs only broccoli.

01:08:26.000 Coco checks his ID. That is hilarious.

01:08:30.000 Signs tickles.

01:08:33.000 I went to the Santa Barbara Zoo like maybe six months ago or so and they have gorillas there and You just get like right up next to them in the in the glass and you look in and you see them walking around and they're you know, they're essentially just A few yards from you just right there walking around. 0.98

01:08:50.000 Yeah, it's kind of fucked up. 0.87

01:08:51.000 You mean in San Diego? 0.99

01:08:52.000 Santa Barbara. 0.99

01:08:53.000 Yeah It's kind of fucked up, because you really shouldn't be able to just look at a gorilla. 0.99

01:08:57.000 Because if you just look at them in real life, they run at you. 0.98

01:09:01.000 They make a- you ever seen the bluff charge that they make?

01:09:03.000 That is- pull a video of that.

01:09:05.000 Terrifying.

01:09:06.000 Gorilla makes- silver black- silverback makes bluff charge. 1.00

01:09:10.000 Do we figure out why this is so dumb damn shitty? 1.00

01:09:12.000 Crack the safety glass! 1.00

01:09:14.000 After- yeah, here he goes.

01:09:15.000 Look at this.

01:09:15.000 Boom!

01:09:18.000 Damn! 1.00

01:09:19.000 Do you have any idea how fucking strong he must be? 1.00

01:09:21.000 Ugh! 0.99

01:09:24.000 And that was just because she was pounding her chest.

01:09:26.000 Isn't that nuts?

01:09:29.000 Man gets charged by, what does that say?

01:09:32.000 Gorilla?

01:09:33.000 The second one now?

01:09:34.000 Yeah.

01:09:34.000 Is that the one I think that's the one we're seeing?

01:09:36.000 Largest silverback. 0.99

01:09:37.000 500 pounds.

01:09:38.000 Try that one.

01:09:39.000 Bluff-charged.

01:09:40.000 Ooh! 0.96

01:09:41.000 500-pound silverback.

01:09:43.000 Ooh, look at the belly on that thing. 1.00

01:09:44.000 Dude, you got a belly. 1.00

01:09:45.000 That's parasites, bro. 0.99

01:09:46.000 Is that what that is? 0.98

01:09:47.000 I don't know, but that's a crazy belly.

01:09:48.000 I'm disgusted and ashamed.

01:09:50.000 Do you think that gorilla cares about his gut?

01:09:53.000 I don't think so.

01:09:55.000 Is that a girl you think or a guy?

01:09:57.000 I think it's a guy.

01:09:58.000 That looked very girl-like for some reason.

01:10:01.000 Like, maybe she was pregnant. 0.99

01:10:02.000 Oh, maybe she was. 0.99

01:10:03.000 Yeah, I feel like that's probably why...

01:10:04.000 There's the silverback. 0.67

01:10:05.000 That's probably why the silverback's gonna bum-rush the show. 0.99

01:10:08.000 There's the silverback. 1.00

01:10:09.000 Can you imagine these assholes are actually, and I say assholes with all due affection and admiration, but these dudes are in the middle of the fucking jungle just walking around with cameras in front of wild gorillas. 0.99

01:10:22.000 Yeah, not to mention there are a bunch of really bad people in the Rwandan jungles. 1.00

01:10:26.000 Yeah.

01:10:26.000 I think Joseph Kony hangs out there sometimes.

01:10:29.000 Yeah.

01:10:31.000 And his Hutu militias. 0.67

01:10:33.000 What a freaky animal a gorilla is.

01:10:36.000 Yeah.

01:10:37.000 Super intelligent thing that's enormous.

01:10:40.000 Possibly strong and possibly strong.

01:10:43.000 It just eats vegetation and is so strong it could just rip you apart with its hands.

01:10:48.000 And that's how it gets by.

01:10:50.000 It gets by not by killing everything around it. 1.00

01:10:53.000 It gets by by being able to kill so many things that everybody just goes, fuck that. 1.00

01:10:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:10:59.000 That's why they nest on the ground. 1.00

01:11:01.000 It's unbelievable. 0.98

01:11:02.000 If a gorilla wanted to pull himself up a tree, it would be pretty fucking easy. 0.97

01:11:05.000 Yeah. 0.90

01:11:06.000 But they don't nest in trees.

01:11:07.000 And part of it, I'm sure, that's a pregnant gorilla, dude. 1.00

01:11:09.000 She's pregnant. 1.00

01:11:10.000 Part of it, because she looks like a female. 1.00

01:11:12.000 Yeah, she's pregnant. 1.00

01:11:13.000 Because I'm a biologist.

01:11:14.000 I don't know if you know.

01:11:17.000 She just looks less horrifically strong than the male is.

01:11:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:11:22.000 She's more like soft and fuzzy.

01:11:24.000 Didn't they find out recently they used tools?

01:11:26.000 Well, they definitely will dig with sticks. 1.00

01:11:31.000 They'll dig to get roots and shit. 0.99

01:11:33.000 Well, they're all vegetation. 1.00

01:11:34.000 That's what they eat.

01:11:35.000 They're all about vegetation.

01:11:38.000 I'm sure that they have probably figured out some sort of tool to do something.

01:11:44.000 I mean, it just makes sense.

01:11:45.000 Yeah.

01:11:46.000 I mean, it's not like they're building the wheel or, you know, constructing houses.

01:11:51.000 I think it's interesting that that thing is still food to a bear.

01:11:52.000 Look at the size of that thing.

01:11:54.000 A grizzly bear is that thing, right?

01:11:55.000 Look at the size of that thing.

01:11:57.000 I don't know about all that.

01:11:59.000 Oh, it's 500 pounds.

01:12:00.000 How much does a grizzly weigh?

01:12:01.000 A lot more.

01:12:02.000 Yeah.

01:12:02.000 A lot more.

01:12:03.000 But it's a different kind of weight.

01:12:05.000 Is it?

01:12:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:07.000 I mean, a grizzly bear is a ridiculously strong animal, but a fucking big five, six hundred pound gorilla He might fuck a grizzly bear up. 1.00

01:12:18.000 He might smack a grizzly bear in his head. 1.00

01:12:21.000 Grizzly bear might be stupid to tangle with this thing. 1.00

01:12:23.000 Hard to hurt, he looks like. 1.00

01:12:24.000 Look at his head.

01:12:26.000 Well, the grizzly bears are impossible to hurt.

01:12:28.000 Have you ever seen them bite each other?

01:12:29.000 Yeah.

01:12:30.000 It's insane.

01:12:30.000 So what's the bear going to do?

01:12:32.000 Unless he knows jiu-jitsu, the gorilla's got to get behind him and choke him out. 0.64

01:12:34.000 What's the gorilla going to do? 0.95

01:12:35.000 The gorilla's going to just smack him in the head. 1.00

01:12:38.000 Just pound them, bite them, throw them, maybe freak the fucking bear out into thinking that this thing is way scarier than a bear. 1.00

01:12:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:48.000 But as far as if they went to the death, depends on how big the bear is and how big the gorilla is.

01:12:52.000 I would guess.

01:12:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:12:55.000 Gorillas are so fucking smart, though. 0.99

01:12:56.000 I would think that they would figure out a way to fuck a bear up. 0.99

01:13:00.000 Would you, though? 0.98

01:13:00.000 Depends on where they are. 0.98

01:13:02.000 Because they're wild, too.

01:13:03.000 I mean, the reason why they have those giant canines, that's to fight. 0.99

01:13:07.000 Yeah.

01:13:07.000 You know, they fight other gorillas.

01:13:09.000 Yeah.

01:13:09.000 It's just a matter of, does he have, like, a grizzly bear?

01:13:13.000 You know what's interesting about the way grizzly bears kill?

01:13:16.000 It's really kind of creepy.

01:13:17.000 It seems that animals that kill a variety of things, or animals that eat a variety of things, I should say, are real omnivores, which bears are real omnivores, They don't necessarily kill things before they start eating them.

01:13:30.000 Right.

01:13:31.000 They just hold them down.

01:13:32.000 I know.

01:13:33.000 There have been a lot of, like in Grizzly Man, I think the guy started getting his legs eaten first.

01:13:37.000 Yeah, and for like seven minutes, the video goes on.

01:13:40.000 Jesus Christ.

01:13:41.000 The lens cap's on, but you're just hearing the sound of him screaming.

01:13:44.000 Ugh! 0.99

01:13:44.000 And her screaming, and this is going on for seven fucking minutes while this bear's eating him alive. 0.99

01:13:50.000 And that's how they kill you. 1.00

01:13:51.000 They eat you alive. 1.00

01:13:52.000 Oh fuck, that's not good. 1.00

01:13:53.000 All they want to do is hold you. 1.00

01:13:55.000 Because they're so much bigger.

01:13:58.000 They're so much bigger than you.

01:14:00.000 So the thing has this paw on my chest and he's just whooping down on my quads. 1.00

01:14:04.000 Mostly your gut or your asshole. 1.00

01:14:06.000 They'll go asshole first. 1.00

01:14:08.000 What? 1.00

01:14:09.000 Yeah, apparently that's how coyotes always kill. 1.00

01:14:11.000 They kill asshole first. 1.00

01:14:13.000 What? 1.00

01:14:13.000 Like deer. 1.00

01:14:14.000 Like they found deer that were locked up together.

01:14:17.000 I mean, it's like sometimes when deer, I know you know this.

01:14:20.000 They may, yeah.

01:14:20.000 Well, the men are fighting.

01:14:22.000 Oh, right.

01:14:22.000 And the men, their horns, because they slam heads together, sometimes they wedge their horns together in a way that they literally can't get out.

01:14:31.000 Right.

01:14:31.000 And there's a video of these, you can find this video of these two bucks that are connected together and one of them is dead.

01:14:39.000 Because it was eaten alive by these coyotes and the coyotes ate it asshole first. 0.99

01:14:44.000 So the whole back legs and the haunches and the assholes all torn out. 1.00

01:14:48.000 Like they ate all that. 1.00

01:14:50.000 Damn! 1.00

01:14:51.000 And this other deer is still connected to him. 1.00

01:14:53.000 Well, he must have been like, eat a little more, please.

01:14:55.000 No, it's like that, but it's a video, and the actual carcass is still attached to the other one.

01:15:06.000 It's not like that.

01:15:07.000 It looks awful.

01:15:08.000 It doesn't look like a full deer.

01:15:10.000 It looks like the bottom half is halfway...

01:15:13.000 No, that's not it.

01:15:15.000 Okay.

01:15:16.000 No.

01:15:16.000 I guess you start with that.

01:15:17.000 One of you does.

01:15:17.000 See if you can find it.

01:15:18.000 One of them can't drink.

01:15:20.000 I forget the exact way it was phrased in the title.

01:15:25.000 Something about Hunter's Rescue Buck One Dead One Alive.

01:15:32.000 I don't know.

01:15:32.000 It might be it.

01:15:33.000 That's weird.

01:15:35.000 It might be it.

01:15:36.000 So weird.

01:15:38.000 It's hard to tell. 1.00

01:15:39.000 God, that video looks like shit. 1.00

01:15:41.000 It's just pictures. 1.00

01:15:42.000 It was wobbly.

01:15:43.000 Oh, okay.

01:15:43.000 It's just pictures.

01:15:44.000 That's why.

01:15:45.000 Oh. 0.98

01:15:46.000 I was like, that's the most ridiculous video ever. 0.97

01:15:49.000 That's not it. 0.97

01:15:50.000 The actual one was these two.

01:15:51.000 It doesn't matter.

01:15:52.000 You can find it, folks, if you've got more time than us. 1.00

01:15:54.000 But they lock horns, they get stuck, and the coyotes just eat them asshole first. 0.99

01:15:59.000 That's how they do it. 1.00

01:15:59.000 I don't want it to turn me over and eat my butt. 1.00

01:16:02.000 How about you just stare in your buddy's eyes while you're connected together by the head while he's getting his asshole eaten? 1.00

01:16:08.000 He's like, save me! 1.00

01:16:09.000 I'm like, I can't! 0.99

01:16:11.000 Fucking stuck. 0.99

01:16:12.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:16:12.000 Because coyotes never catch, I mean, they catch fawns. 0.99

01:16:15.000 They never catch a full-grown buck like that.

01:16:18.000 A full-grown buck, a big 150-pound animal with giant horns.

01:16:21.000 Delicious.

01:16:22.000 Coyotes are like, that's too much work. 0.62

01:16:23.000 Yeah.

01:16:24.000 For the most part.

01:16:25.000 I bet you had died already and then the coyotes came in because the other one was kicking them away. 0.54

01:16:28.000 They were like, let's just eat this end.

01:16:29.000 I wonder.

01:16:30.000 It doesn't move.

01:16:31.000 But they're connected together by the head.

01:16:34.000 Hmm.

01:16:34.000 I don't know.

01:16:35.000 Hmm.

01:16:36.000 Who knows?

01:16:37.000 Interesting.

01:16:37.000 Very interesting.

01:16:38.000 But the point being, this is my whole point at the beginning of all this nonsense.

01:16:43.000 I think that the need for separateness, like the need to defend yourself, the need to attack, the need for aggression, was all instilled in whatever animal the human being ultimately became,

01:16:59.000 all instilled in To allow it to stay alive through the darkest times, the most primal times. 0.99

01:17:06.000 Because without that aggression, guess what, fuckface? 0.99

01:17:08.000 You're not going to make it to 2015. If you remove aggression from human history, we're bear food, we're coyote food, we're mountain lion food, we're, you know, fill in the blank. 0.99

01:17:17.000 If you remove the need to figure out a way to stop You need to have a certain amount of personal sovereignty and a certain amount of aggression.

01:17:28.000 You have to fight off anything that is predatory, anything that is going to threaten the survival of your very species until you figure out how to get it together.

01:17:38.000 So, from the beginning when people made the first houses, to figuring out how to make gates to keep other people out, to figuring out how to keep themselves safe from predatory animals, and all those steps were like super necessary to get to today.

01:17:53.000 But, at a certain point in time, when do we outgrow that expression?

01:17:59.000 We're so dominant over all the other animals.

01:18:01.000 We don't have to worry about that anymore.

01:18:03.000 And the only problem we have with each other, it seems to be like allocation of resources.

01:18:07.000 I was about to say.

01:18:08.000 That's the big one.

01:18:08.000 You watch how fast people devolve as soon as there's a limited source of water.

01:18:13.000 And your kindergartner or whatever may not have enough water for the day.

01:18:18.000 That's when things get really interesting.

01:18:20.000 It's all a question of just what...

01:18:22.000 I mean, most tribes that fought, there was always that situation.

01:18:26.000 It was a fight over resources or water rights or whatever it might be.

01:18:29.000 Do you know that they're pioneering a new desalination plant in San Diego?

01:18:33.000 Mm-hmm. 0.98

01:18:34.000 They're going to spend some untold fucking buckets load of cash. 0.98

01:18:39.000 Yeah, and they're going to make this desalination plan. 0.86

01:18:42.000 If that's true, what you want to do is buy real estate on Catalina Island, because it's going to be a road that leads out there, because we're going to dry out the ocean.

01:18:52.000 People are creeps.

01:18:54.000 Desalinization is... 0.99

01:18:57.000 Sucking the ocean off every day.

01:19:00.000 We're just going to be pulling billions of gallons.

01:19:03.000 People are like, if we don't stop drinking out of the ocean, it will be dry by 2075. By 2075, all the water will be in golf courses and bottled water facilities.

01:19:15.000 There'll be no water in the whole ocean.

01:19:17.000 Just a big, dry hole.

01:19:20.000 Well, they did that, what, to the Aral Sea?

01:19:23.000 The Aral Sea was the ecological disaster that was the Aral Sea and then it dried up in Russia?

01:19:30.000 Is that what it's called, the Aral Sea?

01:19:31.000 And it dried up because people pulled the water out of it?

01:19:34.000 It just became an ecological disaster for a lot of reasons and apparently the algae grew so much and there was too much hydrogen in the water and then there's a thousand things and they were siphoning the water off with dams and rivers and it became a disaster.

01:19:46.000 Dried up Arkel Sea, eco-disaster.

01:19:48.000 Arrow Sea.

01:19:49.000 There you go.

01:19:50.000 Arrow?

01:19:51.000 Arrow.

01:19:51.000 And you can look out there.

01:19:53.000 Oh, Arrow.

01:19:53.000 Arrow Sea.

01:19:54.000 You can look out there and you can just see boats that are just on dry land.

01:19:58.000 Huge ocean liners.

01:19:59.000 Now, these things, like, how quick do these things happen?

01:20:04.000 Like, when a sea dries up, do they get a 10-year window?

01:20:08.000 Well, I think the Arrow Sea took about 40 years to dry up.

01:20:12.000 But look at the boats out there.

01:20:13.000 That used to be sea.

01:20:14.000 That was all sea.

01:20:15.000 All of it.

01:20:15.000 Think about that.

01:20:17.000 And because of mismanagement and using the water irresponsibly for agriculture, and so damming up parts of it, running off parts of it, they literally got rid of the sea.

01:20:28.000 And that's the eco-disaster.

01:20:31.000 So this was all because of human engineering?

01:20:33.000 Yes.

01:20:34.000 Oh my god!

01:20:35.000 So that was a natural sea, and human engineering led it to dry up.

01:20:40.000 That's insane.

01:20:41.000 Yeah, it's also very common, that kind of short-sighted thinking. 0.99

01:20:45.000 But it is also fascinating because you're looking at the underlying mechanisms of the very thing we were talking about, that this human animal is like figuring out all kinds of shit all the time.

01:20:58.000 And it has the power to reshape land now and make areas uninhabitable with an error, you know, or bring them to life with an error, like the Salton Sea. 0.54

01:21:10.000 Right.

01:21:10.000 The Salton Sea for like a long time, like a couple of decades, was this amazing spot where people would go on vacation.

01:21:18.000 They called it like California's Riviera.

01:21:22.000 There was a sea that they created by opening up the Colorado River.

01:21:25.000 It was an accident.

01:21:27.000 The whole thing was an accident.

01:21:29.000 And now it's an eco-disaster, too.

01:21:32.000 It is?

01:21:32.000 Oh yeah.

01:21:33.000 Now it's horrifically salty and filled with runoff from all the agriculture all across the state. 0.99

01:21:41.000 I mean, all that shit that's trickling down from up north. 0.98

01:21:45.000 And all the water systems that's going into there, a lot of it, you're getting runoff from farms. 1.00

01:21:50.000 Damn. 1.00

01:21:50.000 You're getting all sorts of shit. 1.00

01:21:51.000 Look at all those fish. 1.00

01:21:52.000 That's where it is, man.

01:21:54.000 They have millions of fish die off.

01:21:56.000 The Salton Sea, that's millions. 1.00

01:21:58.000 Damn. 0.99

01:21:58.000 The Salton Sea has so many dead bones on its beaches that its beaches are actually dried fish bones. 0.99

01:22:06.000 Wow.

01:22:07.000 There's entire beaches that are completely covered with white, dead fish bones.

01:22:13.000 And you're walking in it and you don't realize it until you look down on it.

01:22:16.000 That's crazy.

01:22:18.000 All that is fish bones. 1.00

01:22:20.000 Damn! 0.99

01:22:20.000 See that? 0.99

01:22:21.000 That person's walking, taking footsteps in fish bones that are so plentiful that they look like sand.

01:22:32.000 And this still has fish in it?

01:22:35.000 When Saddam Hussein was in power in Iraq, there was an area, I think in the south of Iraq, and there lived people called the Marsh Arabs, who had been there for millennia.

01:22:47.000 And when he found out that a lot of the Iranian forces were using it as sort of a hotbed of insurgency and also using it for strategic stuff for the Iran-Iraq war, He, in one of the greatest ecological disasters ever committed by one man,

01:23:05.000 drained the entire marsh.

01:23:07.000 And if you go to pictures, go to pictures of the marsh Arabs in Iraq in the 70s, and you'll see what it looked like. 0.88

01:23:13.000 They'd been living there for thousands of years, thousands!

01:23:16.000 It goes all the way back to Alexander the Great, and he drained it in the course of less than a year and burned it.

01:23:23.000 Well, that gets back to what we were talking about when we were in the car, and we were talking about hardcore history.

01:23:29.000 In the Mongols. 0.97

01:23:30.000 Look at that.

01:23:30.000 Look at that the way they used to live.

01:23:32.000 Some people just take things.

01:23:34.000 That's a painting though.

01:23:36.000 Some people just take things to a completely different level when it comes to like aggression and psychotic behavior and it becomes a total game changer.

01:23:46.000 It's just like no one knows what to do.

01:23:48.000 It takes hundreds of years to recover from what this person does.

01:23:51.000 They say that the Middle East never really recovered from what the Mongols did in 1220 or something.

01:23:57.000 Whatever it was, somewhere in the 1200s.

01:23:59.000 They were saying about Iraq.

01:24:00.000 That was one of the big ones.

01:24:02.000 Baghdad, at one point in time, was one of the cultural centers of the world.

01:24:07.000 Filled with intellectuals.

01:24:08.000 But after the Mongols came, the description was that the river ran red with blood and black with ink.

01:24:14.000 Yeah.

01:24:14.000 So all the Islamic scholars, who at the time, like, people have this idea of Islam, especially when it comes to history, like the history of the world, as being this barbaric or very violent group that's willing to kill you because you draw their cartoon character guy.

01:24:31.000 Yeah, obviously there are people like that out there that believe in that.

01:24:37.000 But if you go back to the history of the religion, at one point in time, they were at the front of the line.

01:24:43.000 When it came to science and philosophy, they were at the front of the line.

01:24:47.000 And a lot of people argue that what the Mongols did literally changed the age of the Enlightenment for them.

01:24:54.000 That's right, because what they did, the Chinese and the Middle East, It allowed the Europeans, who are nowhere close to as technologically advanced as philosophically or even as culturally advanced as, say, the Middle East, 0.85

01:25:09.000 it allowed them to gain ground on both China and the Middle East because of what the Mongols did to them, because it had destroyed in the course of, you know, Over the years just destroyed the centers of their civilization, their infrastructure, their canals for agriculture, 0.92

01:25:25.000 all of their, just essentially their culture.

01:25:28.000 Killed their best and their brightest.

01:25:31.000 Yeah, it's really amazing how many people they killed.

01:25:34.000 When you look at the number that Dan Carlin cites, it's somewhere around 50 million, they believe, that died within his lifetime as a result of the decisions that he made and the orders that he had carried out.

01:25:46.000 Somewhere around 50 million people.

01:25:48.000 Well, he believed, you know, one of the things he ends, yeah, he ends the thing with saying, say what you will, the force of his nature, the strength of his nature, he truly believed he was This divine spirit who had a mission to remake the world in his mind's eye.

01:26:09.000 Like, he was the center of the universe and everything belonged to him and his legacy.

01:26:14.000 What a crazy way to think to begin with.

01:26:18.000 And the fact that it worked, and he did it all on horseback.

01:26:21.000 Yeah.

01:26:21.000 Did it all on horseback, and he had an amazing ability, which one of the things I found most unique about this narration by Dan Carlin was when he was talking about how the guy would, when he would find people that were really talented, that were the enemy, he would recruit them.

01:26:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:26:38.000 Like a guy shot him off of his fucking horse. 1.00

01:26:40.000 Shot his horse from under a man. 1.00

01:26:41.000 And then he made him one of his generals.

01:26:43.000 Yep.

01:26:43.000 And he named him the Arrow.

01:26:45.000 Yeah.

01:26:45.000 They call this guy Jebby.

01:26:47.000 Jebby, the Arrow.

01:26:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:26:48.000 Like the idea that you would take a guy who tried to fucking kill you and shot your horse out from under you and then say, dude, you're a pretty fucking good shot. 1.00

01:26:55.000 You give him some knuckles. 1.00

01:26:56.000 Hey, you want to fucking kill everybody in the world together? 1.00

01:26:59.000 Like, all right, I'm in. 1.00

01:27:01.000 All right. 0.97

01:27:01.000 These guys, they, you know, had an orgy together or something, did some opium and had a good old time. 0.97

01:27:06.000 Yeah, he could spot talent.

01:27:08.000 Well, he would take people that were, he would capture people, and he would find out, does anybody do anything? 0.99

01:27:14.000 Any of you motherfuckers have any skills? 1.00

01:27:15.000 Because if you don't have any skills, I'm going to kill you. 1.00

01:27:17.000 But if you've got some skills, let me know what you do. 0.99

01:27:19.000 Right.

01:27:19.000 You know?

01:27:20.000 And people would say, hey, I'm a surgeon.

01:27:21.000 Or, hey, were there even surgeons back then?

01:27:24.000 Probably.

01:27:24.000 I could have been a surgeon back then.

01:27:26.000 How about that?

01:27:26.000 You would have been like, I'm a black belt in jiu-jitsu.

01:27:28.000 What's that?

01:27:29.000 Come roll with me. 1.00

01:27:30.000 Yeah, I'll show you some shit. 1.00

01:27:31.000 You would. 1.00

01:27:32.000 You'd survive.

01:27:32.000 Oh, I would have to.

01:27:34.000 That's what I'd have to do. 1.00

01:27:35.000 I'd be like, come on, one of you bitches, let's wrestle. 1.00

01:27:37.000 Just get them in a guillotine real quick. 1.00

01:27:40.000 I bet they knew some shit, actually. 1.00

01:27:42.000 When you think about it, like Mongolian wrestling. 0.99

01:27:45.000 But do you think it went back as far as 1200?

01:27:47.000 It had to have.

01:27:48.000 It had to have. 0.99

01:27:49.000 I don't know much if they talked about it because they were so busy killing each other with arrows and swords and shit and spears and catapults. 0.97

01:27:57.000 I don't think the wrestling was like paramount. 0.96

01:28:00.000 You're talking about a group of people though that That fought with their hands, up close, eyeball to eyeball, and did it.

01:28:06.000 And all the guys that we're talking about who were coming into your village or your town had plenty of experience with that in that space.

01:28:15.000 Like, when you're fighting for your life, when you're really killing somebody, I'd imagine it's a very different muscle.

01:28:20.000 If you're using very different muscles, you're using a very different mindset.

01:28:23.000 So I would imagine they had a lot of martial sense.

01:28:27.000 They probably were pretty good with hand-to-hand combat.

01:28:30.000 Yeah, they probably knew...

01:28:32.000 I mean, you think about the early days of martial arts.

01:28:35.000 There was most certainly a lot of faulty technique and faulty ideas.

01:28:40.000 They had not taken the most effortless path or the most technical path.

01:28:47.000 They hadn't figured it out yet.

01:28:49.000 There's certainly some evidence...

01:28:51.000 That indicates that, because by the time we got the highest versions of martial arts in the 50s and the 60s and the 70s, if you really compare some of the top guys to what's possible today, it seems like it's evolved many,

01:29:06.000 many, many, many, many, many, many times.

01:29:08.000 I think so. 0.99

01:29:09.000 I think Hector Lombard's putting a beat down on any fucking Mongol there is. 1.00

01:29:12.000 Every one that ever walked the earth. 1.00

01:29:14.000 Hector Lombard's punching through your fucking stupid Mongol face. 1.00

01:29:16.000 No doubt. 1.00

01:29:17.000 But those Ruslan Provodnikov type dudes, that's like the same type of dude. 0.91

01:29:22.000 That's like, that guy's an animal. 0.95

01:29:24.000 Do you see those pictures of him in the post-fight where he pissed black? 1.00

01:29:28.000 No. 0.85

01:29:29.000 Yes.

01:29:29.000 He put it on his Instagram.

01:29:30.000 He's doing his urine sample and he pissed black. 1.00

01:29:33.000 God. 0.93

01:29:34.000 Yeah, him and Lucas Batiste.

01:29:35.000 I haven't even seen the fight yet.

01:29:36.000 I got it saved in my DVR. Lord, have mercy.

01:29:40.000 They went to war, apparently. 0.99

01:29:42.000 It's a fucking unbelievable fight, apparently. 0.99

01:29:44.000 I haven't seen it. 0.99

01:29:45.000 Was this UFC? HBO Boxing.

01:29:47.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

01:29:48.000 Oh, Provodnikov. 0.68

01:29:49.000 I'm sorry. 0.97

01:29:50.000 Black urine shows real brutality of boxing. 0.99

01:29:54.000 Like, look at his Instagram. 0.99

01:29:55.000 Go to his Instagram.

01:29:57.000 Look at that.

01:29:57.000 Look at that picture, man.

01:29:59.000 That's not a Diet Coke. 0.97

01:30:00.000 That's his piss.

01:30:01.000 What?

01:30:01.000 Yep.

01:30:02.000 That's what his urine came out like.

01:30:04.000 Oh, no.

01:30:05.000 After 12 rounds of war. 1.00

01:30:08.000 God damn it. 1.00

01:30:09.000 That's crazy. 0.99

01:30:10.000 Yeah.

01:30:11.000 How about that fight with Bradley?

01:30:13.000 It's the craziest fight I've ever seen in my life.

01:30:14.000 Amazing fight.

01:30:15.000 And I think that the genetics that come from that area...

01:30:21.000 You know, there's from Siberia and from the steppe and Mongols and there's like the genetics of survivors of hundreds of years, thousands of years of oppression and war.

01:30:33.000 It's almost a distillation of like the strongest survive, just to be born and live to maturity.

01:30:41.000 People don't like that because it seems to indicate some sort of cruelty of nature.

01:30:46.000 But I think to really not be objective about it is real cruelty.

01:30:51.000 Because then if you're not expressing it for what it really is, you're not seeing it for what it really is and expressing it in an honest way, if you're expressing it through an ideology, you're doing everybody a massive disservice.

01:31:05.000 Because it's pretty obvious that aggression was necessary and beneficial to get us to here.

01:31:11.000 I think everybody recognizing that would help the idea of like, okay, so if we really did need to do certain military actions in order to stop certain psychos from growing and marching forward and taking over giant chunks of land,

01:31:28.000 just like they have throughout the Mongol days, and this person, and Philip Alexander the Great.

01:31:33.000 There's always been someone that does that, right?

01:31:34.000 So you need some sort of defense to hold that off.

01:31:37.000 Are we agreed?

01:31:38.000 And then anybody who doesn't agree, then you got a real kumbaya problem.

01:31:42.000 Because you got to go, listen, dude, have you ever seen really crazy people?

01:31:46.000 Have you ever been around someone who's willing to kill you for money, for fame, for your women, for your water rights?

01:31:55.000 There's people out there that aren't playing by the rules you're playing by.

01:31:59.000 Where did you grow up?

01:32:00.000 Pasadena.

01:32:00.000 That's a great place.

01:32:02.000 Pasadena is a great place.

01:32:03.000 Not the Tartar Steps? 1.00

01:32:04.000 Yeah, it's not Istanbul, you fuck. 0.99

01:32:06.000 You know, it's not in the middle of Baghdad in a place that doesn't even have a roof anymore because the soldiers blew it off with their robot flying thing. 1.00

01:32:16.000 No.

01:32:16.000 It changes you.

01:32:17.000 Yeah, of course it does.

01:32:19.000 Of course it does.

01:32:19.000 So anybody that doesn't think you need some sort of military force until that is all eradicated.

01:32:24.000 So that becomes like the real question. 0.97

01:32:26.000 You gotta figure out how do you eradicate all the shitty pockets of life on earth? 0.98

01:32:32.000 And I don't mean like eradicate the people. 0.99

01:32:33.000 I mean eradicate the problems that make those people shitty. 0.87

01:32:36.000 That's a good way to say it, by the way, because you have to eradicate the problems and the way a country, the institutions that give rise to evil people. 0.99

01:32:45.000 If you have a society that's structured, if you have institutions that are structured so that the only way to get ahead is if you're an amoral motherfucker. 0.97

01:32:56.000 Then you're going to have people like Genghis Khan et al rise to the top. 0.98

01:33:02.000 It's the way a society is structured.

01:33:04.000 You know, they always talk about we have to cure poverty or whatever.

01:33:07.000 The United States is powerful because of its strength of institution.

01:33:10.000 It's powerful because we have courts that mean something, because we have property rights, where you own a house and you actually are secure as an American that somebody's not going to come in and take your house.

01:33:20.000 Very few countries share that luxury today in 2015. Yeah.

01:33:26.000 And courts that are objective, that just because you have a lot of money, and I know there are exceptions to this, but just because you have a lot of money, you're getting off for sure.

01:33:33.000 No.

01:33:34.000 We have courts where if you have a lot of money and you kill somebody and you get caught, you have big problems.

01:33:39.000 If you're a cop and you're caught on video shooting somebody, you have big problems.

01:33:41.000 Well, cops don't have a lot of money, but rich people have been able to really finagle systems with good lawyers.

01:33:47.000 I mean, that is a problem.

01:33:48.000 It is.

01:33:48.000 It certainly is a problem.

01:33:49.000 But not to the extent that it is in so many other countries.

01:33:51.000 The corruption is not as blatant as it is in so many other countries.

01:33:54.000 I think there's no denying that.

01:33:55.000 I think the real question becomes of one of the customary actions that we've taken.

01:34:02.000 Because what I mean by that is, if you look at people from where we are right now, at the, you know... 0.94

01:34:08.000 21st century 2015 and you consider what people were like just maybe a hundred years ago 200 years ago like there's never really been a time where people have had this method of communicating with each other so when we used to we didn't not only do we not know what was going on in Japan we had no connection to it you would read some stuff on paper that There's a guy from Japan that wants to fuck us up. 0.95

01:34:36.000 This is crazy.

01:34:38.000 And you would have no connection to those people, and you just knew there's some people over there, just like Lord of the Rings, just like, you know, fill in the blank, any war movie from, you know, the Mongols to whatever, the Romans. 0.99

01:34:52.000 This idea that you would have this group of people that was waiting to come over and fuck you up. 0.91

01:34:57.000 That doesn't really work anymore. 0.98

01:34:59.000 It doesn't.

01:35:00.000 Because there's satellites everywhere.

01:35:01.000 We see everything.

01:35:03.000 We send information to everybody.

01:35:05.000 But this has all happened inside of our lifetime.

01:35:07.000 So there's been a change that's taken place that I don't think we're really fully aware of yet.

01:35:12.000 There's this weird connection thing that we have to literally everybody on the world.

01:35:17.000 Well, also remember that when you had an enemy, even in World War II, the first thing you did was you got your soldiers to believe that that enemy over there, they were subhuman.

01:35:29.000 They weren't human.

01:35:30.000 They were subhuman, and you see it over and over again.

01:35:33.000 Again, that's becoming harder and harder to do.

01:35:35.000 Dan Carlin, not to bring it back to him, was also talking about how when you fought an enemy in World War I, and you encountered your first line of Germans or whatever, you didn't know...

01:35:47.000 How far back that line went?

01:35:50.000 You didn't know if there were a million of them, or if there were just 100,000 or 2,000.

01:35:55.000 So you just fought sort of not knowing not only the effect you were having on their forward momentum, but also on their general population to begin with. 0.95

01:36:07.000 Like, you just were fighting, and when they stopped fighting, then you'd find out, holy shit, there were a million of them. 0.95

01:36:12.000 We just fought these guys. 0.96

01:36:13.000 So...

01:36:13.000 Just think about that.

01:36:14.000 Now we know where their regiments are.

01:36:16.000 We know how far back they go.

01:36:17.000 We know exactly how many people there are.

01:36:19.000 We can plan accordingly.

01:36:20.000 Well, not only that, we can talk to each other.

01:36:22.000 Yeah.

01:36:23.000 That's a huge thing.

01:36:24.000 That's what was missing.

01:36:25.000 What was missing was the only people that were talking to each other were generals.

01:36:28.000 Yeah.

01:36:29.000 I mean, the generals and presidents were the only people talking to each other. 1.00

01:36:32.000 Listen, bitch, we're going to fuck you up. 1.00

01:36:33.000 No, we're going to fuck you up for God. 1.00

01:36:35.000 Right. 1.00

01:36:35.000 Bitch, God's on our side. 1.00

01:36:37.000 And wars would start because of these alliances. 1.00

01:36:39.000 And they would just be like, well, we're going to fight and break this alliance.

01:36:43.000 And then you'd find out about it as a citizen.

01:36:45.000 You'd be like, but I'm farming my land. 0.99

01:36:46.000 I want to know how the fuck the Japanese got together with the Germans and the Italians. 0.99

01:36:51.000 How the fuck did that happen? 0.99

01:36:53.000 Which war? 0.98

01:36:53.000 World War II. I mean, I know how it happened, but how the fuck, if you look at the personalities of the different groups of people and the languages they speak, three completely different fucking languages, three completely different types of people, and all their different They had a lot of trade and a lot of connection. 0.98

01:37:10.000 I mean, but one of the things that the Germans, I mean Hitler, wanted to create an axis, sort of an axis, sort of a new world order. 0.97

01:37:18.000 And he had a great deal of respect for the Japanese.

01:37:21.000 He considered the Japanese the Aryans of the East.

01:37:24.000 And he had enormous respect for the British.

01:37:27.000 Really?

01:37:27.000 You consider them the Aryans of the East?

01:37:29.000 Yes.

01:37:29.000 How convenient.

01:37:30.000 He loved their idea of Bushido, which was the idea of the way of the warrior.

01:37:34.000 Japan had been in a low-grade war, a civil war, for really a thousand years.

01:37:39.000 I mean, it was just constant battles between feudal shoguns, like these fiefdoms. 0.99

01:37:45.000 Like a shogun would run fiefdoms.

01:37:47.000 He'd hire mercenaries, and they would just fight for land.

01:37:49.000 And that went on for really...

01:37:52.000 Three hundred and tens years and about a thousand years.

01:37:55.000 That's why their swordsmen and their ability, they were legendary archers and they were just legendary and ferocious.

01:38:03.000 I mean, when the Portuguese were trading with them, they came back and the first thing they said to their European rulers is they said, hey...

01:38:13.000 We're good to go.

01:38:19.000 We're good to go.

01:38:32.000 And, you know, that proved this tiny island took over a great deal of the world.

01:38:38.000 They were insanely warlike and impossibly disciplined.

01:38:44.000 And their version of martial arts to this day is being taught.

01:38:48.000 I mean, once you understand all the, like, Lyoto Machida, who lost this weekend, but still, you know, a great all-time fighter.

01:38:56.000 I mean, he's an amazing martial artist, and his style is Shotokan-based.

01:39:00.000 It's...

01:39:00.000 It's based on that style of karate.

01:39:02.000 Judo is a Japanese invention, right? 1.00

01:39:04.000 So, well, it's really jujitsu is as well.

01:39:06.000 I mean, Brazilian jujitsu was modified by the Gracies. 1.00

01:39:09.000 It's modified by Helio and Carlos.

01:39:12.000 They modified it and turned jujitsu into what it would ultimately become.

01:39:17.000 They spent much more time on the ground fighting than the judokas. 0.99

01:39:21.000 But a lot of the judokas even, like a lot of their techniques, Came from there was an infusion of techniques where there's like some sort of a blurry crossroads between catch wrestling and judo and some catch wrestlers Also taught in Japan like Karl Gotch and Billy Robinson those guys taught a lot of people in Japan like Sakuraba was a student of catch wrestling And so he imparted that,

01:39:44.000 like, sort of a lot of catch wrestling submission holds, that style of attacking.

01:39:49.000 He incorporated that in a lot of MMA fights and started a lot of people, not just in Japan, but all over the world, fighting that style.

01:39:56.000 So I think there's, like, there's many different versions of what Japan has brought out to the rest of the world.

01:40:02.000 There's many different versions.

01:40:03.000 But as far as, like, martial arts, it's one of the biggest contributors, like, ever.

01:40:09.000 They just figured out Aikido, they figured out Judo, they figured out Jiu Jitsu, they figured out submissions in a way that you really can't find parallel at the time.

01:40:20.000 I definitely think that Jiu Jitsu is better now than ever before and I credit that to the Brazilians. 0.99

01:40:25.000 I credit that to the Gracies. 1.00

01:40:28.000 Brazil, to this day, still has a huge number of super high-level Jiu-Jitsu guys.

01:40:33.000 Worldwide, it's evening out way more than it ever has before.

01:40:37.000 But, I mean, just the overall output and the origins of it, and the fact that it's still called Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

01:40:42.000 Everybody calls it BJJ for a reason.

01:40:44.000 They deserve all the credit.

01:40:46.000 And there's still guys like Jacare, which Jacare did this weekend at Chris Camozzi, that armbar setup.

01:40:51.000 God!

01:40:51.000 That transition.

01:40:53.000 He's a magician.

01:40:54.000 Artistic.

01:40:55.000 Artistic.

01:40:55.000 It's one of the most spectacular forms of applying a submission in a scramble that I've ever seen.

01:41:03.000 Me too.

01:41:04.000 I didn't even know he was doing it.

01:41:05.000 How do you defend against that?

01:41:07.000 You can't defend against that.

01:41:09.000 He's an artist.

01:41:10.000 I was going to put it on my Twitter feed.

01:41:12.000 I'll retweet it earlier today.

01:41:14.000 But I think Grappling World on Twitter, I think that's the ones who put it up.

01:41:19.000 They put up a little 15-second gif, I guess it is, whatever it is, on Instagram, and you get to watch it.

01:41:27.000 It's insane.

01:41:28.000 He's so good. 0.96

01:41:29.000 He's so goddamn good. 0.94

01:41:30.000 It makes you wonder, though, with the Japanese, going back to them, how good they were as swordsmen, what they could have done to you as a samurai. 0.98

01:41:37.000 That's again, I think what we were talking about with the Mongols like they spent so much time on Weapons because that's how you fought most of the time like how much time were they really spending on learning how to kick people in the face? 1.00

01:41:50.000 Yeah, it's probably like a A lot of what we think about the way people used to kick and punch is based on movie depictions of it.

01:41:59.000 And in movies, like Enter the Dragon or any of these kind of crazy movies, they're trying to do the most impressive stuff.

01:42:05.000 So they're throwing wheel kicks and jumping roundhouse kicks and jumping sidekicks.

01:42:09.000 But in real combat, Bruce Lee wrote very extensively about real combat situations.

01:42:14.000 He was always...

01:42:16.000 Like completely fascinated by the concept of utilizing minimum effort Incorporating all the best techniques from all different martial arts and only doing what's effective in discarding what's useless and he you know that Tao of Jeet Kune Do He wrote like extensively about all sorts of different martial arts even like lifted whole packages Like paragraphs from other martial arts books and put them in there and people will say like,

01:42:39.000 oh, he's plagiarizing.

01:42:41.000 Well, no, no, no.

01:42:41.000 What he was doing was collecting all the information.

01:42:45.000 You know, whether he attributed it to this book or he should have or I don't know.

01:42:49.000 Yeah, I agree.

01:42:50.000 Intellectually, probably, it's not the most honest thing to do, to not credit.

01:42:53.000 Maybe he did credit.

01:42:54.000 But my point is, what his art was, was absorbing everything.

01:42:59.000 He didn't invent any new techniques.

01:43:01.000 But what he did was he took the best stuff out of everywhere.

01:43:05.000 And he incorporated a system based on his knowledge at the time.

01:43:08.000 He took in judo from Gene LaBelle.

01:43:10.000 He had armbars.

01:43:11.000 I don't like the way you're talking about him.

01:43:13.000 I don't like the way you're talking about him in the past tense.

01:43:16.000 Are you suggesting he's dead?

01:43:17.000 Personally, he's dead, brother.

01:43:18.000 Wow.

01:43:19.000 Guess you haven't read these secret...

01:43:21.000 History of the Japanese mafia.

01:43:23.000 Yeah.

01:43:24.000 But my point was that, like, that guy, what he had done is really kind of, not just unprecedented, but he was like the first big blip of this new concept.

01:43:37.000 This new concept of just do what's useful.

01:43:39.000 What was possible?

01:43:40.000 No, do what's useful.

01:43:42.000 Everybody else before was in a tribe.

01:43:44.000 I was in the Shotokan Karate tribe.

01:43:46.000 You're in the, you know, Gong Fu tribe. 0.97

01:43:48.000 This guy's in the Judo tribe.

01:43:50.000 And there was very little exchanging of information.

01:43:53.000 You know, I only started exchanging information when I started getting involved in kickboxing because I didn't have good boxing technique.

01:44:00.000 So I started working out at a boxing gym and then I started hanging out with a dude who was doing some Muay Thai as well.

01:44:05.000 And then I started learning about, like, leg kicks and all these different things, and I remember thinking, God damn, I was so wrong.

01:44:10.000 Like, the camp of Taekwondo was good for a bunch of things, but it wasn't good for any of these things these guys were doing to me. 0.99

01:44:16.000 I'm like, damn it, there's some holes in this motherfucker. 0.99

01:44:18.000 And that's the only way you would find out. 1.00

01:44:20.000 The only way you would find out is by exploring these other martial arts.

01:44:23.000 But until Bruce Lee came along, that was, like, taboo. 0.98

01:44:27.000 You were a traitor. 1.00

01:44:28.000 If you went to a different gym to train, you were a fucking traitor. 1.00

01:44:33.000 I remember having been a wrestler, and then I went to Iowa at Dan Gable's camp for, I think it was two weeks, it was a nightmare, three weeks. 0.99

01:44:40.000 And I got to wrestle with some of those NCAA, like Jim Zaleski, those Hawkeyes.

01:44:46.000 Oh, Christ.

01:44:47.000 And as a 17-year-old, and having wrestled, I knew I had a real appreciation for what a really good D1 college wrestler was about, you know?

01:44:56.000 Mm-hmm.

01:44:57.000 Not because I rolled around with those guys, but not because they were teaching us.

01:45:02.000 But I knew what tough high school wrestlers were like.

01:45:06.000 And then to think about D1 wrestlers, and then I'd start taking Taekwondo when I went to Washington, D.C. And I used to say to some of my friends, I'd be like, just know that if you're in a bar and you see a dude with closed-up ears, and he looks like he wrestles in college, that's the guy to be afraid of. 0.97

01:45:20.000 Buy him a beer.

01:45:21.000 Buy him a beer, man.

01:45:22.000 Buy him a beer.

01:45:23.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:45:23.000 Even if you punch him, you better punch him right. 0.99

01:45:25.000 I remember knowing, I was like, I don't know if my kicks are going to work against a dude with a neck like that.

01:45:30.000 Well, in a way, it's kind of what we were talking about when we were talking about the Mongols, where the Mongols lived this life of constant strain and effort, and they were so strong, and the strong survive anyway, as far as how many...

01:45:45.000 I mean, they lived in tents, man. 0.99

01:45:47.000 These motherfuckers were constantly at war. 1.00

01:45:48.000 I'm sure their genes were like... 1.00

01:45:51.000 What they had was warrior genetics, you know?

01:45:53.000 And those people, when they encountered regular soft people that lived inside these cities, they were like predators to them. 0.99

01:46:02.000 I mean, they had disdain for these people, like they were sheep, like they were cattle, because they were so fucking strong. 0.99

01:46:09.000 I mean, you're dealing with a guy who's a goddamn amateur wrestler, a serious competitive amateur wrestler. 0.99

01:46:13.000 You're dealing with a kid who's probably been wrestling since he was a baby. 0.99

01:46:17.000 Ugh.

01:46:17.000 It's all reaction for him.

01:46:18.000 Everything's reaction.

01:46:19.000 Not only that, his body has developed by throwing bodies around.

01:46:24.000 Density.

01:46:25.000 And much like you can't understand what it's like to lock up with that gorilla, you can't understand how much stronger a Division I wrestler is than you.

01:46:34.000 You really don't know.

01:46:35.000 No.

01:46:36.000 Unless you ever wrestle with one of those dudes and have them grab a hold of your wrists and pin you down and get out of submissions like it's nothing and you feel their posture power, they're like several times stronger than you expect.

01:46:49.000 They're several times.

01:46:50.000 That's right.

01:46:51.000 If you get a guy who's like, look, here's a perfect example.

01:46:54.000 Habib Nurmagomedov. 0.99

01:46:56.000 Okay, that motherfucker's a world Sambo champion. 0.97

01:46:58.000 It's a different kind of wrestling, but the point is he uses all wrestling. 0.99

01:47:02.000 If you watch him fight, he's a relentless grappler. 0.96

01:47:06.000 And when he gets a hold of dudes, they're shocked at how fucking strong he is. 0.74

01:47:11.000 I rewatched that Dos Anos fight and the way he was on him. 0.97

01:47:14.000 I'm shocked. 0.72

01:47:14.000 Dos Anos is a monster. 0.72

01:47:16.000 Monster. 1.00

01:47:16.000 And he was just, he was like a, like an octopus, just like a fucking, just wouldn't get off his back. 1.00

01:47:21.000 He's a motherfucker, dude. 1.00

01:47:22.000 And he motherfuckers everybody like that. 1.00

01:47:24.000 He motherfuckers everybody like that. 1.00

01:47:26.000 I'm so excited about this fight with Cowboy, because I really want to see what Cowboy does to stop him, and I really want to see how he does with Cowboy, fighting Cowboy on top, because Cowboy's guard is fucking nasty. 0.99

01:47:38.000 You know, I don't think we've ever seen anybody threaten Habib with any sort of submission attempts before.

01:47:43.000 And I wonder what would happen.

01:47:45.000 I mean, Dos Anjos didn't get a chance, man.

01:47:47.000 But Dos Anjos has never been, like, a guard player.

01:47:49.000 You know, he's not a big-time guard player.

01:47:51.000 He's more of a top-smash-you guy.

01:47:52.000 Yeah, he's really good, man. 0.97

01:47:54.000 He's so goddamn good. 0.94

01:47:55.000 Like, what he did to Pettis was like, whoo! 1.00

01:47:57.000 That motherfucker's strong, too. 1.00

01:48:00.000 He's strong and aggressive. 1.00

01:48:02.000 With Donald and Khabib, I wonder... 0.99

01:48:05.000 First of all, I think Donald has better hands and feet.

01:48:08.000 Well, he definitely does.

01:48:09.000 He definitely is a better striker, but Khabib is just so much stronger when it comes to grappling.

01:48:15.000 But Donald, unlike the other guys, is dangerous off his back.

01:48:19.000 Donald has a nasty triangle.

01:48:21.000 He's also taller, right? 0.78

01:48:22.000 Yes, he is.

01:48:23.000 He's long.

01:48:24.000 He's got an awesome check knee to the body.

01:48:26.000 He throws that check knee with the left side. 0.97

01:48:28.000 He fucks guys up. 0.94

01:48:29.000 And he mirrors it a lot of times, or hides it behind punches. 0.99

01:48:32.000 Like Donald, you'll see, will throw punches where he's not even intending to hit you. 0.93

01:48:36.000 He's just getting you look at these, and if you think of moving in, and then, boom, that knee comes to the body, he fucks guys up with that. 0.66

01:48:43.000 He's putting on a show for you, man. 0.97

01:48:44.000 He's dancing like a cobra.

01:48:46.000 Yeah.

01:48:46.000 You know, he hides kicks behind punches, like he did that when he fought Jim Miller.

01:48:51.000 He showed him the right hand, and boom, the neck kick was right behind it. 1.00

01:48:56.000 Damn. 1.00

01:48:56.000 You're looking at that right hand, and this fucking neck kick comes along, bang, and your legs go out. 1.00

01:49:01.000 He's a motherfucker, dude. 1.00

01:49:01.000 If he beats Khabib, and this is going to be crazy. 1.00

01:49:04.000 He's a motherfucker! 1.00

01:49:05.000 They're both motherfuckers. 1.00

01:49:06.000 Donald's a motherfucker, and Khabib's a motherfucker. 1.00

01:49:09.000 That could be easily a world championship fight. 1.00

01:49:12.000 That's easily world championship caliber fighters.

01:49:15.000 I love when they asked him about Conor McGregor, and Khabib says, he's a very good fighter, but if he won't come to 155, he's welcome.

01:49:24.000 I make him welcome.

01:49:27.000 He's welcome.

01:49:29.000 Good job keeping that guy off you if you're supposed to be fighting 10 pounds lighter than you are.

01:49:33.000 Good luck!

01:49:34.000 Especially if you're not a wrestler first.

01:49:36.000 Yeah, well, listen, man, I wouldn't say that Conor can't fight at 155. What I would say that if he's competing successfully at the top at 145, like he is right now, the transition time, unless he's doing some Mexican supplements, is going to be a long transition time to put on the right amount of weight to compete at that level.

01:49:53.000 It's a world of difference, right?

01:49:54.000 Yeah, because he's pretty elite at 145 in his movement, in his endurance.

01:49:59.000 Like, he's not having any problems.

01:50:00.000 And he hasn't, granted, he hasn't been in a real war.

01:50:03.000 And that's what everybody really wants to see.

01:50:05.000 Everybody really wants to see him against a wrestler.

01:50:07.000 Because everybody we've seen has tried to stand up with him.

01:50:10.000 Got nasty hands, man. 0.97

01:50:12.000 Nasty power. 0.96

01:50:13.000 Nasty accuracy.

01:50:14.000 Super aggressive with his striking. 0.54

01:50:17.000 Disdainful, almost, with his stance and his movement towards you.

01:50:20.000 It's shocking, his confidence. 0.98

01:50:22.000 And I think that fucks with a lot of people's heads, man. 1.00

01:50:24.000 A lot of people, when he comes at you, and he's been talking shit about you for months already, made you feel like an asshole, you can't... 1.00

01:50:31.000 Wait till I get you in the cage. 1.00

01:50:32.000 You know, everybody's thinking, like...

01:50:34.000 And then by the time you get in there, you've suffered a mental beating already, whether you know it or not.

01:50:40.000 You're at a deficit.

01:50:41.000 I asked him where his confidence comes from.

01:50:44.000 I said, how did you...

01:50:45.000 He has two belts.

01:50:47.000 He was a European national champion in boxing.

01:50:50.000 He's got another belt for something else.

01:50:51.000 But I said, where does this come from?

01:50:53.000 He said, it's my work ethic.

01:50:54.000 I said, I know, but a lot of guys work hard.

01:50:56.000 He goes, they think they work hard, but they don't.

01:50:59.000 If it does not involve the fight game, it does not involve me.

01:51:03.000 Wow.

01:51:03.000 And that was it.

01:51:04.000 He goes, other guys have extracurricular activities.

01:51:06.000 I don't.

01:51:07.000 I count my money and I fight.

01:51:08.000 And those are the two things I like to do.

01:51:10.000 He's a game changer.

01:51:12.000 He's a game changer.

01:51:13.000 He's like Chael times two. 0.78

01:51:15.000 Best thing that ever happened to Jose Aldo's career and profile.

01:51:19.000 Unless it goes down the way Conor thinks it's gonna go down, then it's probably the worst thing. 0.99

01:51:23.000 To have some guy come along and humiliate you, and then fuck you up, and you leave with a check. 0.84

01:51:27.000 You were one of the best pound-for-pound fighters in the world, but if Conor could do to him what he did to Dustin Poirier, that would be the most shocking thing we've ever seen inside the octagon. 0.99

01:51:35.000 It'll be crazy.

01:51:36.000 Do you compare Dustin Poirier as a fighter to Jose Alvarez?

01:51:38.000 Of course not.

01:51:39.000 No, and that's no disrespect to Dustin, because I think Dustin was doing himself a disservice by cutting down to 145. I think he looked fucking sensational in his last fight.

01:51:46.000 He looked amazing at 55. He looked comfortable, he looked thick, he was moving well, he was still fast as shit. 0.99

01:51:53.000 I think Dustin's a big boy, and I think those guys that cut down to 45 like that... 1.00

01:51:58.000 Fuck it's your body's getting tortured and you can kind of bounce back from it and you when you're younger It's easier than when you get older when you've been in the game a long time and your body's been taking kicks and punches and You know you're dehydrating in every few months and then rehydrating and like after a while That's shit is gonna pay you're gonna pay a price. 0.98

01:52:18.000 It's gonna pay its toll and I think that a guy who is a really good fighter that cuts less weight and has a less great advantage but has a full healthy body and all of the endurance that comes with that and all the peace of mind, 0.99

01:52:36.000 knowing that you slept well and ate well and your body feels like really rested, you probably are better off somewhere on the comfortable side of that than on the comfortable side of too dehydrated.

01:52:47.000 Because those are the people that wind up looking almost like, there's points where they're almost helpless because their body has dehydrated so much and the gruelingness of the fight.

01:52:56.000 There's some guys you never see do it.

01:52:58.000 Some guys pull it off like Benson Henderson.

01:53:00.000 He pulls it off, man.

01:53:01.000 He pulls it off.

01:53:02.000 You never see that guy tired.

01:53:04.000 You never see that guy worn out and he loses a lot of weight.

01:53:07.000 But then when you saw him fight against Brandon Thatch, what you saw is one guy who's enormous, Thatch, who's a huge Huge for 170. He cuts a lot of weight.

01:53:17.000 So big.

01:53:17.000 And Benson wasn't cutting hardly any weight at all, if any, to fight at 170 because he usually fights at 155. Worked fucking great!

01:53:24.000 And part of it you have to consider is that Benson is a guy with way more experience, way more ways to win, and a way better ground game. 0.95

01:53:32.000 I mean Benson has a legitimate black belt ground game and his Manager and trainer John Crouch, he's legit as they come.

01:53:40.000 Like Benson is super good on the ground.

01:53:43.000 He's very good on the ground. 0.94

01:53:44.000 Despite the fact that Pettis caught him in that armbar, that was just so goddamn quick and perfect. 0.77

01:53:48.000 Yeah.

01:53:48.000 But when you look at his real ground game, like when he fought Thatch, you realize like, you know what man?

01:53:53.000 It might be better if he fought bigger guys and he was healthy.

01:53:57.000 It might be better because he's so technical.

01:53:59.000 It's like the guys who rely on slugging it out and smashing and Hulk smashing dudes, those guys have to be really big for their weight class.

01:54:07.000 But the guys who fight like Benson or like Frankie, super technical, super endurance, constantly on you, always cutting angles, always making you work, always pushing you, always putting pressure on you.

01:54:17.000 I think Benson Henderson is...

01:54:20.000 You know, can keep me with anybody in 70s, certainly Robbie Lawler and any of those guys and Johnny Hendricks.

01:54:27.000 He's kind of a very similar, he's just as tall, might be a little shorter, but for the most part, I think that there's nobody in the 70-pound weight class that I think gives him a beating, including Carlos.

01:54:37.000 Well, you know, I mean, he could be a champion in 170. I mean, everybody says that's ridiculous because it's so...

01:54:42.000 But look, man, that fucking weight class is nuts. 0.99

01:54:45.000 Anybody on any given night in that weight class could be a champion. 1.00

01:54:48.000 Same with 55. Rory McDonald could be a champion.

01:54:51.000 Robbie Lawler is the champion.

01:54:53.000 I mean, either one of those guys could be champion.

01:54:57.000 Condit could still be champion.

01:54:59.000 Woodley could be champion.

01:55:00.000 Hector Lombard could be champion.

01:55:02.000 Oh, I forgot about Hector.

01:55:03.000 I keep forgetting about guys like Hector.

01:55:05.000 He's out for a year.

01:55:06.000 Yeah, steroids.

01:55:07.000 For the juices, my friend.

01:55:09.000 He had the juices.

01:55:10.000 I thought he said that anybody who does steroids should be banned for life.

01:55:12.000 Didn't he say something like that?

01:55:13.000 Someone gave him a drink, my friend, and he did not know what was in it.

01:55:17.000 Somebody rubbed oil on his body when he wasn't looking.

01:55:20.000 There's some translation issues between Spanish and English and the pharmacy.

01:55:25.000 I don't know, man. 0.99

01:55:26.000 Who fucking knows? 0.99

01:55:27.000 Oh, God. 0.99

01:55:27.000 I always forget, though, whenever we talk about the 85-pound weight class, 70 pounds, I forget about him, and I forget about guys like Yoel Romero. 0.99

01:55:34.000 Well, he's 70 now.

01:55:35.000 He went down to 70. Hector's at 170, but Yoel Romero, he's another beast, man.

01:55:41.000 It was a bummer that he didn't get to fight Jacare this weekend.

01:55:43.000 That would have been insanity.

01:55:45.000 What happened to him?

01:55:46.000 His knee?

01:55:46.000 He got hurt.

01:55:47.000 He hurt his knee. 1.00

01:55:47.000 Damn it. 1.00

01:55:48.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:55:49.000 That was an insane fight, and then it became an insane demonstration. 1.00

01:55:54.000 See if you can find that gif of Jacare, Armbar, and Chris Camozzi.

01:55:58.000 I think if I had to put money on the Yoel Romero-Jacare fight, I'd go with Jacare because I still think Yoel Romero, if he's fighting five rounds, if it's four and five, he starts to gasp because there's so much muscle to feed.

01:56:14.000 So the top one is the guard pass, which was equally ridiculously impressive.

01:56:19.000 And the bottom one is the actual armbar, Jamie.

01:56:22.000 Yeah, that's the guard pass.

01:56:24.000 Look at his neck.

01:56:25.000 Look at all the weight he put on him with the one shoulder where his whole body's up.

01:56:29.000 Please turn off ad block. 1.00

01:56:30.000 Fuck you, man. 1.00

01:56:33.000 Bitches running scripts on your shit Find it on another go to another website But anyway point being this This this era that we're living in right now is like greatest ever for martial arts I think I don't think there's ever been a time ever in my life where I've seen this level of execution on a scale like this it just didn't exist before and It didn't exist when you combine the skill level of the kickboxers, 1.00

01:57:01.000 like the glory kickboxers, skill level of the guys that are coming out of Thailand. 0.99

01:57:05.000 It's just all a sharing of ideas, right?

01:57:08.000 Everybody's sharing their own techniques.

01:57:09.000 That's the other thing.

01:57:10.000 Well, you can watch them online now, too.

01:57:12.000 That helps a lot.

01:57:14.000 I just think that, overall, jujitsu, Muay Thai, kickboxing, and MMA, I don't think there's ever been a time that has been even close to To be represented the way martial arts are represented today.

01:57:28.000 But that's just part of it.

01:57:29.000 The real impressive thing was the transition to that.

01:57:33.000 They were in a scramble.

01:57:34.000 That's just the end of it.

01:57:35.000 They were in a scramble and Jacare dove on his arm and threw a leg over and then hooked him under his leg to keep him from rolling out of it. 0.99

01:57:46.000 So crazy.

01:57:46.000 And then scooted his hips to the left.

01:57:48.000 And I was watching and I was like, that is art.

01:57:50.000 That's ballet, man.

01:57:51.000 He's a master.

01:57:52.000 I think you knew what was happening right away.

01:57:54.000 Yeah, I knew he was going for the arm.

01:57:56.000 As soon as I saw him, I think I probably yelled it out.

01:57:59.000 He's diving for an arm.

01:58:00.000 But I could tell that he does that all the time.

01:58:02.000 Some guys don't like to do that because it's a tricky transition between, like, sometimes from the back, some guys will say, you know what?

01:58:08.000 This guy is defending the choke too good.

01:58:10.000 I'm going to set up the arm bar.

01:58:11.000 Like, Husamar Paul Jarez did that to Ivan Salivari.

01:58:16.000 He went from the back to an arm bar.

01:58:19.000 There's a video of him doing that same exact transition to...

01:58:23.000 To Jason Miller.

01:58:25.000 I think that he's got a lot of techniques like that where he can transition from the back to something else, Jacare does.

01:58:34.000 He's got levels of transitions that other people just don't know.

01:58:38.000 I was watching Kamozi, and I was seeing Kamozi trying to figure out what Jacare was doing while he was doing it, and it was so high-level, dude.

01:58:48.000 It was so high-level.

01:58:50.000 If you're a guy who does jiu-jitsu, And you watch how this transition flows.

01:58:57.000 This is not, you gotta go through, it's before that.

01:58:59.000 It's really choppy.

01:59:00.000 Yeah, but it's before that.

01:59:01.000 It's not, they missed the whole thing.

01:59:03.000 See, this is just an armbar.

01:59:05.000 This is an armbar, and it's impressive.

01:59:07.000 But that's not what's impressive.

01:59:08.000 What was impressive was the full transition.

01:59:10.000 Go to that Grappling World Instagram.

01:59:13.000 Grappling World on Instagram.

01:59:15.000 That's where I said you could see the whole thing.

01:59:17.000 But the way he does it, it's like you have to have this insane knowledge of where to put your legs in the transition, where he's going to likely wind up, where his leg's going to kick, and there's so much data that he's calculating, and it's all based on technique.

01:59:31.000 Just like very it's minimal effort like none of that that he did was strength and that's like the most pure expression of martial arts. 0.99

01:59:39.000 I mean he's certainly strong as fuck.

01:59:41.000 Strength certainly aided him in pulling off the move, don't get me wrong, but what I'm saying is that move was pulled off because of his perfect technique. 0.98

01:59:48.000 I mean, you have to be a physically strong person to do anything to a jiu-jitsu person, but there was no resistance there.

01:59:55.000 If you look, there was defense, but the way he moved into that position, he was never resisted.

02:00:00.000 Right.

02:00:00.000 Because he was so far ahead of Comozzi, technically.

02:00:03.000 Like, in the dive, Comozzi's like, oh shit, he's diving! 0.93

02:00:05.000 Where's his legs going? 1.00

02:00:06.000 Oh fuck! 1.00

02:00:07.000 He was already ahead of him. 1.00

02:00:07.000 He was way ahead of you. 1.00

02:00:09.000 He's way ahead of you.

02:00:10.000 That's why when you roll with really good guys, they are ahead of you.

02:00:13.000 They've been there before.

02:00:14.000 They've seen what you're going to do.

02:00:15.000 They can predict what you're going to do.

02:00:17.000 And sometimes if they're really good, they can get you to think you're going to do something.

02:00:21.000 You do that, they already know you're going to do that, and then they capitalize on it.

02:00:24.000 That's what makes Jacare truly special.

02:00:26.000 There's two runnings right now for the number one contender after this Chris Weidman-Vitor Belfort fight.

02:00:32.000 There's Jacare, who won on the court, and then Luke Rockhold.

02:00:36.000 And I think Luke Rockhold made a giant statement by beating Machida and smashing him.

02:00:40.000 Didn't Luke Rockhold beat Jacare in Strikeforce?

02:00:43.000 Yes, he did.

02:00:44.000 He did.

02:00:45.000 What's your take on that?

02:00:46.000 It's a very good fight.

02:00:47.000 Look, I think Rockhold against anybody is a very good fight. 1.00

02:00:50.000 Rockhold is a motherfucker, dude. 1.00

02:00:51.000 No denying it now. 1.00

02:00:53.000 Not a good looking guy either.

02:00:55.000 The only reason why anybody gets laid is because Rockhold didn't get there first.

02:00:59.000 It's just a fact. 0.99

02:01:00.000 If Rockhold got there first, there would be no pussy for anybody else. 1.00

02:01:02.000 That's the bottom line. 1.00

02:01:03.000 He's a handsome bastard. 0.99

02:01:04.000 But more importantly, what he does inside the octagon is super unusual, man. 0.99

02:01:09.000 He's a long guy.

02:01:10.000 It's like Javier Mendes explained it to me in the cage after the fight when I was congratulating him and Bob Cook.

02:01:16.000 Javier said he's long and he's strong.

02:01:18.000 You usually don't get those two together.

02:01:20.000 Oh. 0.99

02:01:20.000 Because he's a long dude, but he's also yoked as fuck. 0.99

02:01:23.000 He's not like a long skinny, Hodger Gracie type grappler dude. 0.99

02:01:27.000 He's long and he's yoked. 0.98

02:01:29.000 And he trains on a daily basis with Kane motherfucking Velasquez and Daniel motherfucking Cormier. 0.97

02:01:37.000 So every day this guy's going to war with the biggest killer the heavyweight division has ever known outside of Fedor. 0.95

02:01:44.000 There's just two guys that you can never consider to be the greatest heavyweights ever.

02:01:47.000 There's one who's in the UFC, Kane Velasquez, and one from Pride, Fedor.

02:01:52.000 Both of whom don't have...

02:01:56.000 If I saw him on the beach, I would be like, that guy used to work out.

02:01:59.000 That's what I'd say.

02:02:00.000 Perfect way of describing Fedor.

02:02:02.000 Yeah.

02:02:02.000 He used to work out.

02:02:03.000 Well, in the day, the earlier days of his career, he was a little thicker.

02:02:07.000 Like, there's been this picture of him standing in front of the kettlebells.

02:02:10.000 Kettlebells, yeah. 0.99

02:02:10.000 What a great picture to jerk off to. 0.99

02:02:13.000 100%. 0.99

02:02:14.000 I've dropped a number of loads.

02:02:15.000 Straight loads, but still.

02:02:17.000 I'm a straight man.

02:02:18.000 I just admire you.

02:02:19.000 I love that.

02:02:20.000 Ah, you Russian bear. 1.00

02:02:21.000 You fucking Russian bear. 1.00

02:02:23.000 The size of your tendons are bigger, right? 1.00

02:02:25.000 Your traps.

02:02:25.000 Yeah, there he is.

02:02:26.000 Oh, God.

02:02:27.000 Long legs.

02:02:27.000 Stud.

02:02:28.000 All-time great.

02:02:28.000 High insertion calves.

02:02:30.000 I mean, it's hard to say...

02:02:32.000 He doesn't shave his chest, does he? 0.99

02:02:34.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 0.99

02:02:35.000 It's hard to say who would have won in a fight in his prime versus Kane in his prime because they came in in two totally different eras. 0.99

02:02:42.000 And if you want to look at accomplishments, Boy, it's really hard to discount Fedor beating Krokop, Fedor beating pretty much everybody they put in front of him in Pride.

02:02:54.000 I mean, he really beat some of the best in the world.

02:02:57.000 And the heavyweight division in Pride back then was probably, outside of Tim Sylvia and Frank Mir, who in their prime could give anybody a hard time, That was probably the strongest heavyweight division the world has ever known.

02:03:11.000 Because everybody, first of all, was allowed to do all sorts of Mexican supplements.

02:03:15.000 This is true. 0.99

02:03:16.000 You could do whatever the fuck you wanted, and you were dealing with guys who were fighting for a lot of fucking money. 0.99

02:03:21.000 I mean, you got, think about it, you got Alexander Emelianenko, you got Crow Cop. 1.00

02:03:27.000 You got Krokop in his prime when he was head-kicking Vanderlei to sleep, you know?

02:03:32.000 Oh my good, googly moogly.

02:03:34.000 You got Minotauro who was fighting off his back and triangling Mark Coleman off his back.

02:03:40.000 Like, Coleman in his prime! 0.76

02:03:43.000 Crazy. 1.00

02:03:43.000 Coleman was strong as fuck, dude. 1.00

02:03:45.000 There was nothing to triangle, just a head and shoulders. 0.99

02:03:48.000 Minotauro, when he was off his back, was special, dude.

02:03:51.000 He represented a thing that no one had ever seen before. 0.89

02:03:54.000 A real, legit Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt who's a fucking bonafide heavyweight who strangles guys off his back. 0.84

02:04:02.000 Why do they call him Minotauro? 0.89

02:04:03.000 Because he was like the Minotaur, you got lost in the maze of his jiu-jitsu, or what was it?

02:04:08.000 Mmm, that's a good question.

02:04:09.000 I don't know.

02:04:09.000 Well, I'm gonna guess that's what it is.

02:04:11.000 Because you don't want to get lost in Minotauros' maze.

02:04:13.000 Maybe.

02:04:14.000 Maybe it's just like he's half bull.

02:04:16.000 You know?

02:04:16.000 That might be true.

02:04:17.000 Because he's so fucking strong. 0.99

02:04:18.000 Yeah. 0.96

02:04:18.000 That guy was tough. 0.96

02:04:19.000 Shit! 1.00

02:04:20.000 Jesus! 1.00

02:04:21.000 Just another level.

02:04:22.000 Yeah, just another level of toughness.

02:04:24.000 So you think about Minotauros.

02:04:26.000 Okay.

02:04:26.000 Fedor beats him in his prime.

02:04:29.000 And Fedor beat Crow Cop in his prime. 0.88

02:04:32.000 Josh Barnett and him never fought when Josh was in his prime.

02:04:37.000 Kevin Randleman, remember that?

02:04:38.000 He beat Kevin Randleman.

02:04:39.000 He suplexed him.

02:04:40.000 No, Kevin Randleman suplexed him, and then he got him in an armbar just moments later.

02:04:44.000 So he's not good enough.

02:04:46.000 I'll break this.

02:04:47.000 Okay, top.

02:04:48.000 That was the craziest transition. 1.00

02:04:50.000 Dude, he was a motherfucker. 1.00

02:04:52.000 He was a motherfucker. 1.00

02:04:53.000 Fedor was a motherfucker. 1.00

02:04:54.000 His timing with those shots. 1.00

02:04:56.000 Fantastic.

02:04:57.000 And his ability to knock guys out, insane.

02:04:59.000 And Andrei Orlovsky knocked him out.

02:05:02.000 In the air.

02:05:02.000 But that was, by the way, a fight where Orlovsky was picking him apart.

02:05:05.000 Yes, it was.

02:05:06.000 And that was a fight where a lot of people looked at and went, hmm, this guy's got some holes.

02:05:10.000 And it was also a fight where he was criticized by his old trainer.

02:05:13.000 His trainer was saying, you know, he's up to his old tricks.

02:05:15.000 He won with a trick.

02:05:16.000 He's like, but he didn't prepare for this properly.

02:05:19.000 His trainer was vocal about that.

02:05:21.000 Yeah, because Arlovsky was training with Freddie Roach, I think.

02:05:23.000 I think you're right.

02:05:24.000 Yeah.

02:05:24.000 Well, Arlovsky got crazy and went with that flying knee.

02:05:26.000 And if he didn't go with that flying knee...

02:05:29.000 Who knows what would happen?

02:05:30.000 If he continued to pick him apart like that, it could have been crazy.

02:05:33.000 It could have been crazy to watch Fedor get kickboxed.

02:05:36.000 But Arlovski, at least on paper, was a very formidable kickboxing threat.

02:05:42.000 He had one-punch knockout power, laser-straight right hand.

02:05:46.000 He threw a right hand that, when he knocked out Paul Bluntello early in the first round, he threw a right hand that was like a bolt.

02:05:52.000 It's like, pchoo! 1.00

02:05:53.000 Comes off his shoulder, hits you in your chin, you don't even know what the fuck happened. 0.99

02:05:56.000 He's so fast. 1.00

02:05:58.000 Ridiculous. 0.95

02:05:58.000 When Arlovsky was in his prime, dude, people were terrified of him. 0.95

02:06:02.000 Remember the first time he came in there, this 240-pound guy who moved like a small man.

02:06:06.000 Yeah.

02:06:07.000 With that ponytail.

02:06:08.000 Well, when Fedor got to him, he had lost a few, and he'd been out of the UFC, and, you know, he was fighting for affliction, you know, but still, he still was pretty formidable.

02:06:18.000 So Kane, him, and five rounds.

02:06:21.000 Who knows?

02:06:21.000 That's the problem.

02:06:22.000 You'd have to have a time machine, you'd have to coordinate.

02:06:25.000 What version of Kane?

02:06:27.000 Before the first fight with Junior Dos Santos?

02:06:30.000 Before the second fight with Junior Dos Santos? 0.98

02:06:33.000 Junior Dos Santos knocked him out in the first fight, and then they went to fucking war for two fights in a row.

02:06:39.000 And those fights, you gotta think, man, Fedor obviously lost a step somewhere along the way, and you have to attribute it, if you don't attribute it to his focus, I don't know what his focus was in training, if his coach is saying something like that, it could be that he was kind of getting tired of fighting, 0.99

02:06:56.000 or it could be the goddamn wars he went through. 0.97

02:06:59.000 I mean, nobody rides for free when it comes to those crazy fucking ten minute rounds they would fight. 1.00

02:07:05.000 Sparring sessions that he would go through. 0.97

02:07:07.000 You know, we were talking to Tony Jeffries about this, and he was calculating.

02:07:12.000 And he had 106 fights, 26 of which were pro, I think.

02:07:16.000 And he said, if you look at all the rounds I fought to prepare for those 106 fights, and this is when I became an amateur.

02:07:22.000 It's not when I was a kid.

02:07:24.000 He calculated he took over 55,000 shots to the head. 0.99

02:07:28.000 God damn it. 0.99

02:07:29.000 55,000. 1.00

02:07:30.000 That's so crazy.

02:07:31.000 And that's typical for a lot of boxers.

02:07:33.000 Because you've got to take into account the five jabs, just the five jabs you take around, even if they're light, when you're sparring.

02:07:41.000 It's so crazy.

02:07:42.000 Yeah.

02:07:42.000 It's so crazy when you, you know, when you just think about all the different micro injuries and different times the brain's rattling against the skull, different little things that have, little connective tissue that's separating or twisting or popping or...

02:07:58.000 I know, but don't you need some of that in life?

02:08:00.000 I was going to ask you...

02:08:01.000 Had trauma?

02:08:02.000 No, well, somebody in Dan Collins' podcast, this French general, I think, or a British general, said, we have to have war because if man doesn't have war, we'll dissolve into materialism.

02:08:12.000 I thought, all right, whatever.

02:08:13.000 That sounds like a general.

02:08:14.000 But there is something to be said about a conflict-free world, as we were talking about.

02:08:20.000 And I was wondering, and I was just trying to draw a through line to the people I really connect with, my really good friends, the friends that I have... 0.98

02:08:28.000 I better be on that list, bitch. 1.00

02:08:29.000 You are. 0.99

02:08:30.000 But it's not that they're all fighters, necessarily, but they definitely have and continue to sort of live in a world that is not, of course, like the Mongols, but they keep themselves a little uncomfortable. 0.98

02:08:44.000 They are always in touch with kind of coming up with their own, with a sense of reality. 0.92

02:08:49.000 Well, that's why I told you before, you're the only dude that I'd ever ask to go to Montana to sleep when it's fucking nine degrees outside in a little cloth house. 0.97

02:08:57.000 That's real. 0.99

02:08:57.000 It was horrible. 0.99

02:08:59.000 Well, none of the other comics we know are really going to hack that.

02:09:03.000 I don't think Duncan, and I love him, and Tony Henschliff are going to like hiking up those mountains in that cold.

02:09:09.000 Tony might get down with it.

02:09:11.000 I'm telling you.

02:09:11.000 Tony might get down with it.

02:09:13.000 That little fucker, he's a determined little weasel. 1.00

02:09:16.000 Really? 1.00

02:09:16.000 I shouldn't say weasel. 1.00

02:09:18.000 I meant to say, I'm not weasel.

02:09:19.000 He's the golden pony.

02:09:20.000 He's the golden pony.

02:09:21.000 I meant badger. 0.99

02:09:22.000 He's a determined little, he's like, weasels are tough little fucking animals, by the way. 0.99

02:09:26.000 That's a weird thing. 0.99

02:09:27.000 Like, weasel became somehow or another. 1.00

02:09:29.000 No, they're tough as shit. 1.00

02:09:29.000 Became an asshole. 1.00

02:09:30.000 Like, weasels kill cobras, don't they? 1.00

02:09:32.000 Oh, yeah.

02:09:33.000 Well, I think there are other weasels that kiss mongoose.

02:09:35.000 They're the mongoose family, yeah. 1.00

02:09:36.000 They're tough little fuckers. 1.00

02:09:37.000 But when you say weasel, you're like, oh, the dude's weasel. 1.00

02:09:39.000 Right. 1.00

02:09:40.000 I mean, he's not to be fucked with. 0.99

02:09:43.000 Tony will rise up. 1.00

02:09:44.000 He will figure out.

02:09:45.000 With a pack on his back and that cold?

02:09:47.000 Eh, you know what, man?

02:09:48.000 Physically, he's not exactly designed for it. 1.00

02:09:50.000 He's not designed for it, but he's a tough little fucker. 1.00

02:09:54.000 Right. 1.00

02:09:54.000 Look at that. 1.00

02:09:55.000 This photo of a baby weasel flying?

02:09:57.000 That's it.

02:09:58.000 Photoshop.

02:09:58.000 No, it's not.

02:10:00.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

02:10:01.000 Someone caught this.

02:10:02.000 It's real life.

02:10:02.000 Someone caught this?

02:10:03.000 A baby weasel?

02:10:04.000 How did he get on this bird?

02:10:05.000 I don't believe it.

02:10:07.000 What?

02:10:07.000 Why don't you believe it?

02:10:08.000 It could happen.

02:10:09.000 Really?

02:10:09.000 Yeah.

02:10:10.000 How?

02:10:10.000 The world's crazy.

02:10:12.000 Why is that so weird?

02:10:13.000 That's amazing. 1.00

02:10:14.000 Some baby weasel figured out how to jump on this fucking bird's back. 1.00

02:10:17.000 I'm telling you right now, I think it's completely photoshopped. 0.99

02:10:19.000 Listen, we know weasels exist.

02:10:21.000 We know birds can fly.

02:10:23.000 Why would it be so hard to imagine?

02:10:25.000 Perhaps you're right.

02:10:25.000 Perhaps the weasel jumped on its back and they went on an adventure.

02:10:28.000 With all the fucking variables in the world when it comes to wildlife that this couldn't take place. 0.99

02:10:33.000 Watch this. 0.99

02:10:34.000 I don't think that bird would be able to hang on.

02:10:36.000 No.

02:10:37.000 It's a lot of weight.

02:10:39.000 But also that weasel doesn't have any strength.

02:10:41.000 That's a baby.

02:10:42.000 That bird's not letting that weasel on him.

02:10:44.000 Jamie, please snopes this and get back to us with the final results.

02:10:48.000 It's actually real.

02:10:49.000 Wow.

02:10:49.000 Come on.

02:10:50.000 Jamie says it's actually real.

02:10:51.000 I'm still crying. 0.99

02:10:52.000 I'm still calling bullshit. 1.00

02:10:53.000 Don't call bullshit. 1.00

02:10:54.000 Wow, there's another picture of it. 1.00

02:10:55.000 Weasel catches a ride on a woodpecker.

02:10:57.000 What does that guy do with it? 1.00

02:10:58.000 That guy's a liar. 1.00

02:10:58.000 That guy fucked that woodpecker. 1.00

02:11:00.000 That's Ariel Sharon. 1.00

02:11:00.000 Is he? 1.00

02:11:01.000 I don't know.

02:11:02.000 That's the guy who caught it on camera?

02:11:03.000 Wow.

02:11:04.000 Better not be lying, dude.

02:11:06.000 He's lying.

02:11:06.000 Those hacksores dudes are gonna find you.

02:11:10.000 They'll find you.

02:11:10.000 You can't lie to them.

02:11:12.000 Yeah.

02:11:12.000 They have elite skills with the Photoshop layers.

02:11:16.000 Remember that? 0.99

02:11:16.000 Like, these Photoshop guys were going over the fucking image that Obama's birth certificate. 0.99

02:11:20.000 Look, it's clearly been doctored in Photoshop. 0.99

02:11:22.000 God.

02:11:23.000 Photoshop! 1.00

02:11:24.000 They're ridiculous. 0.98

02:11:25.000 Do you know anything about that, Jamie? 1.00

02:11:26.000 What?

02:11:27.000 The layers of the Photoshop argument when it comes to Obama's...

02:11:30.000 No, I don't know anything about that.

02:11:31.000 Obama's birth certificate was doctored in Photoshop.

02:11:34.000 I'll show you.

02:11:35.000 Doctored!

02:11:36.000 If you watch, if you take it apart, the image is several files.

02:11:42.000 Some of them...

02:11:43.000 Files! 1.00

02:11:44.000 He's from fucking Kenya! 1.00

02:11:47.000 Several... 1.00

02:11:47.000 From several fouls! 1.00

02:11:49.000 How about this?

02:11:50.000 How about he's from Hawaii, which is not America anyway? 0.93

02:11:52.000 How about that?

02:11:53.000 You know what? 1.00

02:11:54.000 How about he's from a fucking... 1.00

02:11:55.000 He's from a country we stole from a really nice group of people. 1.00

02:12:00.000 Yeah, they were sweet.

02:12:00.000 We say it's an island.

02:12:01.000 It's just a small country.

02:12:03.000 That's what it is.

02:12:04.000 I agree.

02:12:05.000 Hawaiians are Hawaiians.

02:12:06.000 They're not Americans. 1.00

02:12:07.000 I mean, they are American, and since they...

02:12:09.000 We'll take them in, protect them with the Constitution and the military of the United States of America...

02:12:15.000 Pearl Harbor, never forget!

02:12:17.000 They're in our protectorate.

02:12:19.000 Look at Barack. 0.98

02:12:20.000 But what I'm saying is, Hawaii, oh shit, there's two different pictures and they photoshopped them in there? 0.98

02:12:28.000 Maybe. 0.98

02:12:28.000 Hmm. 0.98

02:12:29.000 Where's the hand?

02:12:31.000 Where's that left hand?

02:12:32.000 Interesting. 0.99

02:12:32.000 He's got an upper ass in that second picture. 0.99

02:12:34.000 Interesting. 0.99

02:12:35.000 Hmm.

02:12:35.000 This is not real.

02:12:36.000 Hmm.

02:12:37.000 Oh, these are hilarious.

02:12:39.000 These are hilarious.

02:12:40.000 Chunk of ear edge missing?

02:12:42.000 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1.00

02:12:43.000 It's not even a high-resolution photo, you fucking weirdos. 1.00

02:12:45.000 So annoying. 0.99

02:12:46.000 Don't they understand the difference between looking at something with a white background and looking at something with a black background?

02:12:51.000 Go up to that ear. 1.00

02:12:52.000 I'll disprove this right now, you fucking dummy. 1.00

02:12:54.000 See the difference? 1.00

02:12:55.000 See where the transition is?

02:12:56.000 The transition is right where the white meets the black. 0.96

02:12:58.000 You know why it happens? 1.00

02:12:59.000 Because the fucking camera picks it up like that. 0.99

02:13:01.000 Again, to bring it back, this is becoming the Dan Carlin podcast, but he said something really cool about how people like conspiracy theories because it's really hard to believe that the random just happens or that one man, like Lee Harvey Oswald, can change the course of history with a bullet. 0.99

02:13:16.000 And that's a lot harder to believe than, you know, a group of people who were very organized ended up doing what they did.

02:13:22.000 And it's human.

02:13:23.000 We all want a logical explanation, not a random one, not the fact that we're fragile enough that one man can fuck everything up with a good bullet or a good bomb.

02:13:34.000 It's that time where that was possible.

02:13:36.000 I wonder if that's possible today.

02:13:39.000 And it's certainly to a lesser extent.

02:13:41.000 There's a weirder connection that people share today than they've ever done before.

02:13:47.000 And I wonder how much we realize about how that shaping works.

02:13:52.000 Societies, how it's shaping just human civilization as a human, you know, we were talking about before as a gigantic superorganism.

02:14:00.000 Superorganism that relied on aggression to get to a certain point of innovation, and then once it got to that certain point of innovation, when does it no longer need aggression, and when does it need like a realization of what it actually is?

02:14:13.000 Instead of aggression, when does it need a realization like, listen, listen, the only way it's gonna work out for everybody is we gotta act for everybody.

02:14:21.000 That's the only way.

02:14:21.000 If the human race just treats everybody that way, like, you have to, like, find where the weak spots are, prop them up, figure out why they're fucked up, engineer them correctly, you know, as far as social engineering, education, counseling, you know, love, whatever.

02:14:35.000 Are you saying that we should do unto others is that we'd have them do unto us?

02:14:38.000 Exactly.

02:14:39.000 As Rabbi Hello and a guy named Jesus Christ said.

02:14:41.000 And once you get to a point where you have something called the internet and people can exchange these ideas and exchange these points of view and these expressions, like this is how I feel about you, this is how you feel about me when you communicate like this.

02:14:56.000 You can communicate like this in a real time in a way that's never happened before.

02:15:00.000 So they're not like these weird people in Germany that you don't know that are, they have this guy standing on top of a podium and he's screaming shit out and you're like, what's going on over there? 0.76

02:15:09.000 Why are they all marching? 0.89

02:15:10.000 Why are they all goose-stepping like that?

02:15:12.000 What are they doing with the Jews? 1.00

02:15:14.000 Like, what the fuck is going on over there? 0.99

02:15:15.000 And you're reading things about it in the paper and you're trying to take these little printed words and piece them into a narrative that makes sense in your head. 0.99

02:15:23.000 You're reading the New York Times every morning to find out what's the news with Europe.

02:15:27.000 What's going on over there with our boys?

02:15:29.000 And you want to look into the paper trying to find out how the score is of the war.

02:15:33.000 And you're listening to the radio at night. 1.00

02:15:36.000 The fucking radio! 1.00

02:15:37.000 You're listening to the radio! 1.00

02:15:39.000 It's crazy.

02:15:39.000 You're explaining.

02:15:40.000 You would go to the movies and they would show a clip, a highlight war reel clip of the news while you were waiting for your movie to start.

02:15:47.000 I know. 1.00

02:15:48.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:15:49.000 It was very controlled, too. 1.00

02:15:51.000 Your information was controlled.

02:15:52.000 War was actually kind of...

02:15:57.000 Presented in a very sanitized way as well, and in many ways still is.

02:16:02.000 Like the idea that when you get hit with a heavy artillery, you come apart.

02:16:06.000 There are not holes in your body.

02:16:07.000 We don't show a lot of that stuff.

02:16:09.000 Probably shouldn't.

02:16:11.000 Well, shouldn't we? 0.99

02:16:13.000 Wouldn't it be good for people to know what the fuck they're signing up for? 0.96

02:16:17.000 I know that the logic was always that you censored media during wartime and didn't let them show the really horrific stuff because it was bad for morale among troops and at home. 0.98

02:16:30.000 Does that make sense to you?

02:16:32.000 I don't know enough about what it's like to motivate young men to go to battle.

02:16:38.000 I don't know enough about what it's like to be a general or a person in power when I'm in a wartime situation.

02:16:43.000 I don't know what it's like to have the very existence of my country under threat the way we were in World War II when those kinds of policies were made.

02:16:52.000 So I don't know, man.

02:16:54.000 I think I'd have a very different point of view if I was.

02:16:57.000 That's all.

02:16:58.000 And I think we'd all have very different points of view and would do very, very different things and behave maybe a lot like the leaders we criticize if we were under the kinds of responsibilities and pressures that the leaders we talk about were under.

02:17:15.000 I think that if I were the emir, the caliphate of Baghdad, and I knew that the Mongols were doing what they were doing to people and they were on the way to see me, I'd be pretty ruthless With any kind of dissent, any kind of Mongol sympathy, 0.96

02:17:32.000 and I would be pretty ruthless with anybody who wasn't pitching in for the very survival of my town.

02:17:39.000 Right, because the consequences are so high of not taking it seriously and not being aggressively prepared.

02:17:44.000 Yes.

02:17:44.000 The question becomes, like, how, if ever, is it possible...

02:17:48.000 Because of the fact that we can communicate with each other all across the world instantaneously, how is it possible that we move past the idea of armed conflicts entirely?

02:17:58.000 Like, isn't it possible?

02:17:59.000 It is possible, and it's already kind of happening.

02:18:01.000 How can you say that when we're going to war?

02:18:05.000 I mean, we're in the middle of, like, pulling out of Iraq and Afghanistan while maintaining thousands of troops.

02:18:10.000 Yes.

02:18:11.000 We have bases all over the world.

02:18:13.000 Yes. 1.00

02:18:13.000 There's this ISIS shit that's going on. 1.00

02:18:15.000 Because overall, if you look at the number of violent deaths from 2000 until 2015, according to Steven Pinker in his very well-researched book called The Angels of Our Better Nature, essentially said, proves and makes the case that Fewer people have died violently in that span of time, 0.99

02:18:36.000 even with the Congo, even with the Middle East, even with all the things that go on, in comparison to any other time of epoch, any other time in history.

02:18:43.000 And it seems that a lot of countries, like China, for example.

02:18:49.000 Yes, rattles its sword at Taiwan and things, but China gains a great deal more from being an economic powerhouse.

02:18:55.000 The military powerhouse just isn't, and I maintain this case with Iran. 0.96

02:18:59.000 Iran wants hegemony. 0.98

02:19:01.000 Iran wants control over parts of the Middle East. 0.85

02:19:03.000 Iran has a lot of influence over the Shia-Sunni schism in the Middle East, etc.

02:19:08.000 I think Iran gains a lot more, and we could create incentives for Iran, and we are trying to, at least parts of the government are.

02:19:15.000 Some people disagree with this.

02:19:16.000 I feel like If you created a situation where Iran saw that there was much more to be gained from joining the economic community and playing ball in accordance with its laws than in getting weapons of mass destruction.

02:19:30.000 They're all scared that those chicks are gonna find out they don't have to wear burqas in America. 1.00

02:19:35.000 There it is!

02:19:36.000 Cover your face! 1.00

02:19:38.000 They're gonna come over on boats and they're gonna seek out black dick like a magnet. 1.00

02:19:42.000 Like a magnet to steal filings. 1.00

02:19:44.000 Perhaps.

02:19:45.000 They're tired of being suppressed.

02:19:46.000 They want to twerk on some dude in a club. 1.00

02:19:48.000 Maybe. 0.93

02:19:49.000 With no crazy funky religious outfit on.

02:19:51.000 And they can escape, you know why? 0.99

02:19:52.000 Because no one knows what the fuck they look like. 0.99

02:19:54.000 They could just blend right in. 1.00

02:19:55.000 Good luck with your passport photo when it's looking through a fucking lid of a garbage can like Oscar the Grouch. 1.00

02:19:59.000 In and out, baby. 1.00

02:20:00.000 That's what your fucking passport looks like. 1.00

02:20:02.000 You see your eyeballs. 1.00

02:20:03.000 They have to take their shit out for their passport, right? 1.00

02:20:06.000 Don't they? 1.00

02:20:07.000 Are they allowed to?

02:20:07.000 It's like stealing their soul or something, right?

02:20:10.000 Well, the minute that a lot of Saudi women go to places like London and Kuwait, guess what comes off immediately? 1.00

02:20:16.000 Their headdress, the whole burka thing.

02:20:18.000 And they go shopping and they dress in sexy outfits and they're just like, yeah.

02:20:23.000 Suppression, man.

02:20:24.000 It's just amazing that you've got countries that in 2015 still make women dress like they're in Star Wars. 0.65

02:20:32.000 But there's another reason for it.

02:20:34.000 There's another reason for it.

02:20:35.000 There's another very logical reason for it.

02:20:37.000 Logical?

02:20:37.000 Well, I'm just saying, if you're a religious man, and if you are trying to create a productive society, the logic went, if you have women walking around looking all sexy and naked,

02:20:54.000 which was a lot of the Middle East, if you have that, what happens is we're thinking about fucking and not producing. 1.00

02:21:03.000 So you gotta cover your chicks up. 1.00

02:21:06.000 Damn it, if you want to get any work done. 0.99

02:21:08.000 That's not true, though. 0.99

02:21:09.000 I agree. 1.00

02:21:09.000 Because America produces like a motherfucker. 1.00

02:21:12.000 How about that? 1.00

02:21:13.000 How about that?

02:21:14.000 We got hot freaks over here. 1.00

02:21:16.000 It's so true. 0.84

02:21:17.000 Freedom.

02:21:18.000 Freedom.

02:21:18.000 Is that what she looked like, really?

02:21:20.000 Princess Leia.

02:21:21.000 Is that a real body?

02:21:22.000 Yeah, it is. 1.00

02:21:22.000 Damn, she had a banging body. 1.00

02:21:23.000 Yes, she did. 1.00

02:21:24.000 That was real, too. 0.99

02:21:25.000 That was pre-suck and tuck. 0.99

02:21:28.000 God bless her. 1.00

02:21:29.000 You know?

02:21:30.000 She didn't have no lipo.

02:21:31.000 Couldn't look more bored.

02:21:33.000 She was beautiful at the time.

02:21:35.000 Very exotic, I must say.

02:21:37.000 Princess Leia.

02:21:38.000 What a steel bro.

02:21:39.000 She made out with her brother. 1.00

02:21:40.000 Remember that shit? 1.00

02:21:41.000 I love it. 1.00

02:21:42.000 She kissed her brother on her lips and his dick got hard. 1.00

02:21:44.000 Is that true? 1.00

02:21:45.000 It had to.

02:21:46.000 He didn't know that it was his sister.

02:21:47.000 That's rude.

02:21:48.000 Your sister comes along and gives you a real kiss. 0.95

02:21:50.000 With a body like that? 0.74

02:21:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:21:51.000 Sis, you got some tits on you. 1.00

02:21:52.000 She didn't even bother telling you that she's... 1.00

02:21:54.000 Did she know at the time?

02:21:55.000 Did she know?

02:21:56.000 No, no one knew.

02:21:57.000 Did you ever have to do a love scene when you were an actor back in the day?

02:22:00.000 I wasn't an actor.

02:22:01.000 I was never really an actor.

02:22:02.000 I did acting work.

02:22:03.000 I had to do some serious...

02:22:06.000 Love scenes.

02:22:06.000 It's always awkward and weird.

02:22:08.000 I bet, man.

02:22:09.000 Because I'm an actor.

02:22:09.000 It's awkward and weird as it is being in a car with you for six hours, driving it up to turkey hunt.

02:22:13.000 How about that, huh?

02:22:15.000 We had a good time, dude.

02:22:16.000 We did have a good time.

02:22:17.000 We always have, I will always hunt, because it's just people like, why are you going?

02:22:21.000 It has nothing to do with killing the animals. 0.99

02:22:23.000 For me, I get to hang with you, and we get to be idiots and laugh. 0.99

02:22:26.000 It was like I was saying, there's not a whole lot of dudes I'd ask to sleep in a tent. 0.99

02:22:29.000 You know?

02:22:30.000 Come on, man, we're going to go.

02:22:31.000 We're going to go to some place.

02:22:32.000 I'm calling my TV star, famous comedian friend, going, come on, dudes.

02:22:36.000 We're going to go.

02:22:37.000 We're going to sleep under the stars in Montana.

02:22:39.000 Napa Valley.

02:22:40.000 We're going to go shoot deer, and then we're going to eat them over a campfire.

02:22:44.000 Are you in?

02:22:45.000 Turkey hunting was interesting.

02:22:46.000 I can't give it away, but I will say that I killed between zero and ten birds.

02:22:51.000 That's a good number.

02:22:52.000 You know, turkey hunting is very exciting.

02:22:54.000 It's fun.

02:22:55.000 But the only issue that I have, and I don't really have an issue with it...

02:23:00.000 But the only thing that I would say if it came to, like, preference of time that I would spend hunting, I would spend less time turkey hunting and more time doing other things because of the fact that you can't get anything more than a turkey.

02:23:12.000 Yeah.

02:23:13.000 You stay there all day, you shoot this turkey, you got one turkey.

02:23:17.000 And that's great.

02:23:19.000 I mean, it'll be delicious.

02:23:20.000 I'm sure I haven't cooked it yet.

02:23:21.000 I've got it in the...

02:23:22.000 Oh, I told everybody I killed a turkey.

02:23:23.000 Or did you?

02:23:23.000 No, Renell had a picture of it.

02:23:25.000 He put it on his Instagram, so I'm fine.

02:23:27.000 But it...

02:23:29.000 It's just a turkey.

02:23:30.000 You know, we tasted some of it.

02:23:31.000 We ate some breast.

02:23:32.000 It tastes just like turkey.

02:23:32.000 It tasted like turkey.

02:23:33.000 It was good, but the breast tasted identical to turkey.

02:23:37.000 Apparently the legs are like a little tougher.

02:23:39.000 And the one that I got was apparently a good one to eat because it was fairly young.

02:23:43.000 And those are like more tender.

02:23:44.000 Called the Jake.

02:23:45.000 It wasn't a Tom.

02:23:46.000 A Jake.

02:23:47.000 And they just don't, here's the deal, you know, there's not that much food there.

02:23:51.000 No.

02:23:52.000 You know, it's like it'll feed a family and then maybe you might have sandwiches the next day.

02:23:55.000 If you shoot a deer, like if you go out and you shoot a deer and you spend those nights sleeping in the tent in Montana and you're successful, you're going to come back with 50 or 60 pounds of meat.

02:24:07.000 Incredible.

02:24:08.000 I mean, you've got back straps and loins and burger and you're making sausage out of it and you've got all...

02:24:14.000 Just butchering it. 1.00

02:24:15.000 Just butchering it is a bitch. 1.00

02:24:17.000 We did it for hours. 0.99

02:24:19.000 We butchered it and we joked around.

02:24:21.000 We had a great time.

02:24:22.000 Or that moose. 0.76

02:24:22.000 See, if I shoot one of those, that moose, I'm going to be eating that moose forever. 0.76

02:24:27.000 One of the greatest pictures I've ever seen.

02:24:28.000 That picture and the Fedor picture with kettlebells are the two pictures I use in my fantasy files.

02:24:35.000 Listen, that picture is like what it means to eat animals.

02:24:41.000 That is a moose leg.

02:24:43.000 I don't know how much that thing weighed, but it was heavy.

02:24:46.000 100 pounds?

02:24:47.000 Well over 100 pounds.

02:24:48.000 Well over 100 pounds.

02:24:49.000 It was a 900 pound moose.

02:24:51.000 Jesus Christ.

02:24:51.000 Which isn't even that big.

02:24:53.000 Look at the power.

02:24:54.000 My friend, Ben, he shot one that was about 1,400 pounds.

02:24:58.000 What?

02:24:58.000 It was much bigger than mine.

02:25:00.000 It's huge antlers. 0.97

02:25:01.000 It was ridiculous. 0.80

02:25:03.000 But that moose is going to feed me for a year. 0.83

02:25:06.000 I need to come over and get some moose meat.

02:25:07.000 Still haven't had any.

02:25:08.000 Come on over, man.

02:25:09.000 You have good cuts?

02:25:10.000 Yeah.

02:25:11.000 Well, let me show you how to cook it, because it's not easy.

02:25:13.000 No.

02:25:13.000 It's a different thing.

02:25:14.000 It's different than deer.

02:25:16.000 That's a gladiator animal that you're eating.

02:25:18.000 Yeah.

02:25:19.000 First of all, when you eat the meat, I'm going to have you over.

02:25:21.000 We'll come over the house, and you and I will sit down.

02:25:23.000 We'll have a meal together.

02:25:24.000 I'll cook you a real moose steak.

02:25:26.000 You're going to eat it. 1.00

02:25:27.000 When you eat it, you're going to be like, holy shit. 1.00

02:25:29.000 Because it makes you, it's almost like a stimulant. 0.99

02:25:32.000 There's so much energy in that meat.

02:25:34.000 Listen, I've done that with deer meat.

02:25:37.000 I ate deer meat every day for 10 days.

02:25:39.000 I am telling you, and I'm not hokey, you get a rush.

02:25:45.000 Like I had an extra kick in my body.

02:25:49.000 It only makes sense if you look at their body.

02:25:51.000 Their flesh is so healthy.

02:25:53.000 Their tissue is so rich and red and dark.

02:25:56.000 You're dealing with an extremely healthy animal that is surviving against really hardcore predators.

02:26:03.000 I mean, it's running away from mountain lions and wolves.

02:26:07.000 This is existence.

02:26:08.000 Right.

02:26:08.000 For a moose, it's wolf packs.

02:26:10.000 You know, if you make it from the time you're a calf to the time you're a full-grown moose, good luck.

02:26:15.000 Did you ever show you that picture that I had?

02:26:17.000 We came across one that had been torn apart by wolves?

02:26:20.000 No.

02:26:21.000 Yeah, when we were up there hunting, we came across a moose calf.

02:26:25.000 Wow.

02:26:26.000 When we were actually moose hunting.

02:26:29.000 And this thing had been torn apart.

02:26:31.000 So you were up in wolf country?

02:26:32.000 Oh, yeah.

02:26:33.000 Not only was I up in wolf country, I was up in a place where they don't even have a limit on how many wolves you can kill.

02:26:39.000 Because there are just so many.

02:26:40.000 They want you to kill wolves all day. 1.00

02:26:42.000 Damn! 1.00

02:26:42.000 They set up bait. 1.00

02:26:44.000 You can do whatever you want. 1.00

02:26:45.000 Because they're such a motherfucker? 1.00

02:26:46.000 They're such a motherfucker, and they don't have a handle on them at all. 1.00

02:26:49.000 The guy that I lived up there, that stayed at this place, rather, that lives up there, his neighbor lost a cow to a wolf. 0.99

02:26:56.000 Well, when we were in Napa Valley, the farmers I was talking to, they used to keep emus, which are miniature ostriches and lambs, and said, the mountain lions wreaked havoc.

02:27:10.000 The mountain lion would come in and pull those emus over the fence, the seven-foot fence, and they'd just find feathers on the top of the fence. 0.93

02:27:18.000 There goes our emu and lambs, too, just eat the shit out of a lamb. 0.94

02:27:23.000 Well, the place where you and I were staying up in... 0.99

02:27:25.000 That's where I was.

02:27:25.000 Yeah, the place where you and I were staying, they lost all their sheep.

02:27:29.000 To mountain lions.

02:27:30.000 To mountain lions.

02:27:30.000 This farm that we were at.

02:27:32.000 I mean, they had all these cows and shit. 0.99

02:27:33.000 Think about if you have to survive the winter and a mountain lion and wolves are... 1.00

02:27:37.000 You'll start hating mountain lions and wolves.

02:27:39.000 That's why they got hunted.

02:27:40.000 There's a totally different idea that you and I have about them.

02:27:43.000 Like, you know, you look at a wolf, you look at it, it's like a dog.

02:27:45.000 They don't, that's not a dog to them. 1.00

02:27:47.000 That's a dangerous fucking thing. 1.00

02:27:49.000 Starvation. 1.00

02:27:49.000 Yeah, it's starvation. 1.00

02:27:50.000 It's a dangerous fucking thing. 0.99

02:27:51.000 I'm trying to find these guys. 1.00

02:27:52.000 When you're in the frontier and wolves took care of all your livestock, you...

02:27:56.000 Your kids couldn't eat.

02:27:57.000 Yeah, man.

02:27:58.000 Well, it hasn't been...

02:28:00.000 Okay, I found the pictures.

02:28:00.000 It hasn't been that long ago that human beings really had to worry about wolves.

02:28:06.000 That's why those...

02:28:06.000 The big bad wolf and all those different...

02:28:09.000 Well, those legends go on in Europe forever.

02:28:12.000 That's what we found.

02:28:13.000 Oh, my God.

02:28:13.000 That was probably...

02:28:14.000 We had gotten there probably the night after or the day after.

02:28:18.000 Oh, so it still had, like, blood on it.

02:28:20.000 Still had some meat on it.

02:28:21.000 Wow.

02:28:21.000 Yeah, and what you didn't expect, what I didn't expect was the hair everywhere.

02:28:26.000 Oh! 0.60

02:28:26.000 All that stuff that you see on the ground in that picture, Jamie, you can pull it up, it's on my Instagram. 0.60

02:28:30.000 That's hair! 1.00

02:28:30.000 If you find a body of a moose calf, it's from four or five months ago. 1.00

02:28:36.000 Damn! 0.99

02:28:37.000 The hair was all over the place. 0.99

02:28:39.000 It looks like the leg still has...

02:28:39.000 Yeah, they would have come back.

02:28:41.000 They probably were going to come back and finish off the rest.

02:28:44.000 Or they were just full and they were going to go somewhere else and get something else.

02:28:47.000 But they always know where it is.

02:28:48.000 They'll come back.

02:28:49.000 Where was that?

02:28:49.000 That was in BC, like northern BC. British Columbia.

02:28:52.000 Yeah.

02:28:53.000 Dude.

02:28:54.000 When you meet people at the airport, just a random guy at the airport saw that I had a camo jacket on and asked me if I was hunting.

02:29:01.000 He talked to me about how much he likes to kill wolves.

02:29:04.000 Yeah, these city people, they just don't understand.

02:29:07.000 They live down there in Vancouver, and they're making all the laws for up here, and we're the ones who have to hear them howl and wonder how many of them there are out there, and they kill your livestock, and they kill your dogs.

02:29:20.000 Different perspective.

02:29:22.000 They're wolves like the movies, like Little Red Riding Hood.

02:29:25.000 Like, look out, little girl. 0.97

02:29:26.000 Don't go off in the woods alone, because there's wolves out there.

02:29:30.000 Slick, too.

02:29:31.000 Oh, they're so smart.

02:29:32.000 They follow.

02:29:33.000 What's our next hunt?

02:29:35.000 Are we going to pig hunt?

02:29:35.000 I don't know.

02:29:37.000 Let's pig hunt.

02:29:37.000 We could pig hunt.

02:29:38.000 You know what I was thinking?

02:29:39.000 I was thinking we should go caribou hunting.

02:29:43.000 Ooh.

02:29:44.000 Real cold.

02:29:45.000 Alaska.

02:29:45.000 That's too cold.

02:29:46.000 Caribou.

02:29:47.000 No, it's not.

02:29:47.000 You're going in August.

02:29:49.000 Oh, I'll go then.

02:29:50.000 Yeah, they migrate in August.

02:29:51.000 All right.

02:29:52.000 What about before that?

02:29:54.000 I don't know.

02:29:54.000 We'll figure something out.

02:29:55.000 I want to kill a pig up in Sacramento. 1.00

02:29:57.000 Whoa, you're crazy. 1.00

02:29:57.000 You're violent. 1.00

02:29:58.000 What happened to you? 1.00

02:29:59.000 I want to eat a pig. 0.99

02:30:00.000 I need some pig. 1.00

02:30:01.000 I love pork. 0.61

02:30:01.000 I still have some from the pig I shot. 0.61

02:30:03.000 You do?

02:30:03.000 Yeah, I'll cook some at the house.

02:30:04.000 I made a ham, like, maybe...

02:30:07.000 Do you still have all my hunting gear at your house?

02:30:09.000 I have your hunting gear.

02:30:11.000 I made a ham.

02:30:12.000 That's us.

02:30:12.000 We're turkey hunting.

02:30:13.000 Look at that.

02:30:14.000 We're so sexy.

02:30:14.000 Look at me.

02:30:15.000 But I made this ham that I slow cooked on the smoker for like six, seven hours. 1.00

02:30:21.000 Goddamn. 0.99

02:30:21.000 I brined it for like four or five days. 0.99

02:30:24.000 Jesus.

02:30:24.000 You brine it, like you take ice, put it in a cooler, you take this brine, it's mostly like salt and sugar and some spices, and you dunk this ham in there and then surround everything with ice and put it in like a Yeti cooler.

02:30:37.000 Mmm.

02:30:37.000 And then, look at that.

02:30:39.000 Wow.

02:30:41.000 You're getting to be quite the meat cooker.

02:30:43.000 I'm getting good at cooking meat.

02:30:44.000 Like, I'm no chef.

02:30:45.000 I don't have skills.

02:30:46.000 I don't know what I'm doing.

02:30:47.000 But I do know how to smoke meat.

02:30:49.000 I knew how to grill steaks.

02:30:51.000 I cooked a cowboy cut last night.

02:30:54.000 Yeah, he's like a real chef.

02:30:56.000 Like, he could be like a real chef.

02:30:57.000 I tell people he made me beaver.

02:30:59.000 I said it's some of the best meat I've ever had.

02:31:01.000 Get out of here! 0.99

02:31:02.000 Those are some ribs that I cooked.

02:31:04.000 You're so funny that you post.

02:31:06.000 I follow you on Instagram, obviously.

02:31:08.000 I love food.

02:31:09.000 You're always posting meat.

02:31:10.000 That's what I cooked last night.

02:31:11.000 Cowboy cut of ribeye. 0.99

02:31:13.000 Damn it, that looks good. 1.00

02:31:13.000 Come on, son. 1.00

02:31:14.000 That's artwork to me.

02:31:15.000 Is that moose?

02:31:16.000 No, that's ribeye steak. 1.00

02:31:17.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:31:17.000 That's a regular steak. 1.00

02:31:19.000 I got a cowboy cut, a big, thick.

02:31:22.000 It was probably like maybe three inches thick.

02:31:25.000 At least one, two...

02:31:27.000 Two and a half, maybe?

02:31:28.000 It was a fat, thick one where I had to use a thermometer to cook it.

02:31:31.000 So I cook it on the outside.

02:31:33.000 You sear the outside on these things called grill grates.

02:31:36.000 I got to show you this smoker I got.

02:31:39.000 It's a Yoder.

02:31:41.000 It uses direct heat as well as indirect heat.

02:31:45.000 You ever seen those things, those pellet smokers?

02:31:46.000 No.

02:31:47.000 Well, this one, you can sear it on one side, and then you move it over to the other side, and then you just leave the temperature at what you wanted.

02:31:52.000 For me, it was like 400 degrees.

02:31:53.000 So I drop it down to 400 degrees, and I have a thermometer in it.

02:31:56.000 It tells me when the temperature, the internal temperature, hits like 125. And then I watch it carefully until it gets to be about 130. And then pop that bitch out and let it sit for 10 minutes. 1.00

02:32:05.000 So you're roasting it. 0.99

02:32:06.000 You're starting it off grilling it.

02:32:07.000 Right.

02:32:08.000 You're starting it off grilling it.

02:32:09.000 It's direct fire, like fire literally below these grates.

02:32:12.000 Yeah. 0.92

02:32:12.000 And you sear the shit out of it. 0.92

02:32:14.000 I don't mean the shit out of it. 0.98

02:32:16.000 You don't want to burn it. 0.93

02:32:16.000 But you want to sear it for, depending upon the thickness of the meat and the temperature that you're searing it, I don't do it for more than like two and a half minutes a side. 0.93

02:32:25.000 And I just really just like cook the outside.

02:32:27.000 You know, you're burning off any possible bacteria that's on the outside.

02:32:32.000 You get a nice crust and a good...

02:32:34.000 Like a delicious like top area of it where it's like real crispy and you got like Kosher salt and black pepper and a little bit of garlic powder I mix on there and I let it sit for like an hour before I put it on the grill It's an art form to it man It is because like I put post pictures of it because I like what other people do to like I like looking at people's Instagrams and shit that they're making and My father-in-law can cook the greatest steaks.

02:32:57.000 He uses hickory chips, and he smokes it that way on the grill.

02:33:03.000 He's just a master with a grill.

02:33:04.000 I try to replicate it, I just can't do it.

02:33:06.000 There's two different styles of cooking steaks.

02:33:08.000 Some people like the Argentine style, which is like a slow grill, slow and low.

02:33:13.000 They'll cook like a steak slowly.

02:33:16.000 I like my meat to be a little raw though.

02:33:18.000 It's just like rare.

02:33:19.000 No, but I mean they can certainly still cook it rare.

02:33:22.000 They just cook it at a low temperature.

02:33:24.000 They don't like American style grilling a steak.

02:33:27.000 You see that steak hit the thing and you flip it or you move it a little and then you flip it and then you push it off to the side.

02:33:35.000 And you always put the lid on it and you let it rest.

02:33:37.000 Like, you gotta let it sit.

02:33:39.000 Like, you grill the top of it, but unless it's a really thin steak, that's not gonna really get the center where you want it.

02:33:45.000 It'll be really rare in the center.

02:33:46.000 So what you do is you put it, like, if you have a, like, either one of those Weber's or I have a Kamado, you put a top lever to it so that the heat is not really underneath it anymore, cooking it from the bottom.

02:33:58.000 It's cooking all around it.

02:33:59.000 And then you put it on the top, close the lid, and it'll drop down, like, maybe 350 degrees or somewhere around there.

02:34:05.000 And then you cook it slowly for the next, like, depending upon the thickness of the steak, I don't usually like to go more than five minutes.

02:34:11.000 And then I pull it off of there.

02:34:12.000 So what I've done is I've seared the shit out of the outside with, like, really hot flames and a hot grill grate, and everything is just like...

02:34:21.000 It's really cooking the outside of it, but then slow cooking it after that, so you get that crust on the outside. 0.92

02:34:27.000 I had a Wagyu steak in Utah where they put it in a plastic bag and they boil it in water.

02:34:34.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:34:35.000 That's a new thing.

02:34:36.000 Such a weird thing. 0.99

02:34:37.000 God damn, it was good! 0.98

02:34:39.000 Snake River Farms is really popular right now. 0.99

02:34:42.000 They have new ones that they sell that you put a pot of water, and then you stick this heater element in it, and it cooks it for you.

02:34:52.000 You just sit it on the counter, or sit it on your stove, but it's not the stove that's cooking it.

02:34:57.000 It's this device that you have in the water, so it'll keep the water steady 135 degrees, which is medium, medium-rare.

02:35:04.000 So you would just do that and it would cook it perfectly. 0.94

02:35:07.000 Like you couldn't fuck it up. 0.94

02:35:08.000 It couldn't overcook it. 0.96

02:35:09.000 And then you take it and they cook the outside of it with like a torch.

02:35:13.000 Right.

02:35:13.000 Like you take a butane torch and they crispy sear the outside of it and it's supposed to be amazing.

02:35:18.000 I've had it.

02:35:19.000 It's incredible. 1.00

02:35:20.000 I don't like that Wagyu shit, though. 1.00

02:35:22.000 I don't like that fatty. 1.00

02:35:23.000 I had Wagyu sent me from Snake River Farms, which apparently, like, I went to Mastro's, and the guy goes, well, Snake River Farms is the best.

02:35:31.000 Dude, I don't know what they do there.

02:35:32.000 I don't know what they do with those cows. 1.00

02:35:34.000 I'm just telling you it's the best steak ever.

02:35:36.000 It's better than venison.

02:35:37.000 It's better than anything I've ever had.

02:35:38.000 You might like different things than I like because I've tried that Wagyu.

02:35:42.000 I've given it a bunch of tries.

02:35:43.000 I've had Kobe.

02:35:45.000 Too fatty.

02:35:46.000 I like lean.

02:35:46.000 Something about this is just...

02:35:47.000 That's what I like about that tri-tip that we had.

02:35:52.000 I like lean too.

02:35:53.000 I'm more of a lean guy.

02:35:54.000 I don't like a lot of fat and this was an exception.

02:35:57.000 Maybe they're just the preparation.

02:35:58.000 Maybe the chef just nailed it. 0.99

02:36:00.000 No, because they send me my own steaks and I just cooked it in fucking butter and I was just still like the best steak I've ever had. 0.98

02:36:07.000 All right, well, I'll give it another shot. 0.99

02:36:08.000 I've had it before.

02:36:09.000 I didn't like it.

02:36:10.000 I felt like I was eating a patient.

02:36:11.000 I'll call them the guy.

02:36:12.000 I think I know the guy.

02:36:13.000 I'll have them send you some steaks.

02:36:15.000 I felt like I was eating a bedridden patient. 0.99

02:36:17.000 If you tell your cow, just stuffed Froot Loops down its fat face and got it drunk every night and then killed it. 0.80

02:36:22.000 I'm curious to see what you think of the Snake Rivers.

02:36:24.000 Yeah, I'll try it.

02:36:25.000 They have it to a size.

02:36:25.000 Apparently, there's other places that do Wagyu, and then there's Snake River Farms.

02:36:31.000 Everybody who's in the...

02:36:32.000 They all say, well, that's the Cadillac.

02:36:34.000 That's the Mercedes.

02:36:35.000 That's a Ferrari of snakes.

02:36:37.000 Again, another Japanese invention. 1.00

02:36:39.000 Those slick bastards. 1.00

02:36:40.000 Rub them with beer, don't they? 1.00

02:36:42.000 And they do all kinds of weird shit with the cows. 0.99

02:36:44.000 They don't let it move. 0.99

02:36:45.000 Not very nice.

02:36:46.000 The whole culture, when you think about one small island, just think about what they did to revolutionize the car industry.

02:36:51.000 They made cars reliable.

02:36:52.000 Yeah.

02:36:53.000 Yeah, with insane cooperation.

02:36:58.000 And I'll give you an example.

02:36:59.000 With the Toyota plant, this is back in the day.

02:37:02.000 This was 20 years ago.

02:37:03.000 In Toyota company, they could start from when they started with the one piece that they were going to put the car together.

02:37:10.000 On the assembly line, it took five minutes to assemble an entire Toyota.

02:37:15.000 How about you take ten, guys?

02:37:16.000 Just make sure the bolts are tightened down. 0.99

02:37:18.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

02:37:20.000 How about that? 1.00

02:37:20.000 Don't rush my car. 1.00

02:37:21.000 I know.

02:37:22.000 Five minutes!

02:37:22.000 Make sure this bolt's on.

02:37:23.000 Five minutes?

02:37:24.000 That seems like a little quick.

02:37:26.000 Maybe slow down.

02:37:27.000 I think so, but they have it down to a science.

02:37:29.000 They always say that Japan was so heavily influenced by one factor.

02:37:34.000 A lot of people in a very small area.

02:37:37.000 And it required a great deal of cooperation, but even more importantly, because of typhoons, Their architecture was made from rice because you didn't want a wind to blow stone on you and die.

02:37:52.000 So the reason that the origami like, you know, they have like sliding glass doors and I mean paper, a lot of their houses were made of, the inside was made of paper.

02:37:59.000 Well the problem with that is when you have walls that separate you that are made of paper.

02:38:04.000 You can hear what goes on in the room next to you. 0.98

02:38:07.000 And if you have a couple that's fucking or whatever or crying or arguing, now you're privy to their business. 0.98

02:38:15.000 And what that did was they said, how are we going to run a society like this? 0.99

02:38:19.000 This is weird.

02:38:20.000 I mean, I know he's listening to me and then I'm listening to him.

02:38:24.000 And what a lot of social scientists talk about is this idea that the Japanese got so Super good at actively not hearing things they're not supposed to.

02:38:34.000 And it was like this sort of social contract where first of all you never mentioned that you heard anything.

02:38:40.000 Second of all you didn't even gossip because you didn't hear it.

02:38:44.000 Hi.

02:38:45.000 Hi.

02:38:46.000 Hi.

02:38:47.000 Hi.

02:38:49.000 I'm not listening.

02:38:50.000 I'm not listening.

02:38:51.000 I am jacking off, but I'm not listening.

02:38:53.000 What a bizarre culture that they exhibited so many unique traits and characteristics and had so many unique strengths.

02:39:03.000 I mean, if you think about their contributions just to martial arts alone, for one island like that, it's unprecedented.

02:39:11.000 I mean, Brazil is obviously an enormous country, and they had a massive influence on it as well.

02:39:17.000 Holland is a small country.

02:39:19.000 They had a massive influence on kickboxing and Muay Thai.

02:39:22.000 And on the economy of the world.

02:39:26.000 The Netherlands owns a lot of...

02:39:28.000 They are an economic powerhouse.

02:39:31.000 And responsible for setting up shop in Africa.

02:39:34.000 And I believe in a place called New York.

02:39:38.000 New York!

02:39:40.000 That's right.

02:39:41.000 If I can make it there.

02:39:44.000 I was just there.

02:39:45.000 I always confuse Denmark, Holland.

02:39:48.000 The Netherlands is the same as Holland.

02:39:51.000 Yeah, all of that area. 1.00

02:39:52.000 Yeah, you can fuck up. 1.00

02:39:53.000 You're a Dane? 1.00

02:39:54.000 You're from Denmark?

02:39:54.000 What does that mean?

02:39:55.000 Are you Dutch?

02:39:57.000 Are you Swedish?

02:39:58.000 So you're from the Netherlands?

02:39:59.000 You're Dutch?

02:39:59.000 You're from Holland?

02:40:00.000 It's always confusing.

02:40:01.000 They also figured out weed and hookers a long time ago. 1.00

02:40:04.000 They're great. 1.00

02:40:05.000 They figured out a lot of shit. 1.00

02:40:06.000 They're like, how about you just get tested and do whatever you want to do? 1.00

02:40:10.000 The only issue with the Japanese is that their challenge has always been innovation. 1.00

02:40:14.000 Like, they're really good at mimicry and making things better.

02:40:16.000 And the reason for that is because of the way their society is structured.

02:40:21.000 So that if you are someone who comes up with a better way to do something than your boss, your boss would lose face.

02:40:26.000 And so that's why a lot of things stayed rather stagnant.

02:40:30.000 Even though they were good, it was very hard for them to sort of keep up with the...

02:40:34.000 So not as much innovation comes out of Japan.

02:40:37.000 They don't really have a Silicon Valley the way we do.

02:40:40.000 Wow.

02:40:41.000 That's an interesting way of describing it.

02:40:44.000 If you have a boss and you go out to drink, the boss drinks a higher caliber whiskey than you do.

02:40:50.000 Really? 1.00

02:40:51.000 What a dick. 1.00

02:40:51.000 So he'll drink Cuddy Sark and you'll drink something on lower. 1.00

02:40:53.000 Boss is a shithead. 1.00

02:40:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:40:55.000 Give up the good booze, son.

02:40:56.000 Listen, man.

02:40:57.000 Come on, bro.

02:40:58.000 You make more money.

02:40:59.000 Give up the good booze.

02:41:00.000 Come on.

02:41:01.000 We work together.

02:41:02.000 Let's be friends here.

02:41:03.000 Authority.

02:41:04.000 And also very chauvinistic.

02:41:05.000 But they did some amazing improvements on existing things.

02:41:10.000 That's their unique characteristic, their unique traits, especially when it comes to automobiles, automobiles and electronics.

02:41:19.000 Like the NSX. It forced Ferrari and Porsche to change the way they were making cars.

02:41:24.000 They came out with this fucking NSX. I want to say like 91 or 92 was the first NSX. And it was basically like a super-evolved sports car. 0.96

02:41:34.000 For the time, it had these ridiculous things that they had built into it, like baffles in the fuel lines to make sure that the weight always stayed completely central.

02:41:44.000 They wanted to have a pure 50-50 weight balance so it's a mid-engine car, so the engine is behind the passenger seat.

02:41:51.000 All these unique innovations to the suspension, geometry, and the way it handled was just like it was on rails, man.

02:42:00.000 It was not even a high-horsepower car.

02:42:02.000 It was like 275, I think initially, maybe 290 towards the end of its production line.

02:42:08.000 It wasn't like that speedy.

02:42:10.000 It was just bulletproof.

02:42:12.000 It was all aluminum.

02:42:14.000 No one had ever done that before.

02:42:15.000 No one had ever made an all-aluminum sports car.

02:42:17.000 I remember getting in that car with you when you first got it.

02:42:20.000 It's amazing.

02:42:21.000 And you were just like, you were telling me about it.

02:42:23.000 The engineering is unprecedented, and they lost money on everyone they sold.

02:42:27.000 Wow.

02:42:27.000 They didn't make money on that car.

02:42:29.000 It was a flagship car, just to show you. 0.99

02:42:31.000 Look, not only are we going to make something that's better than any of your shit, it's not going to break down, ever. 0.98

02:42:38.000 It looks awesome, and we're going to lose money selling it. 1.00

02:42:43.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:42:43.000 Damn. 1.00

02:42:44.000 Just shut your mouth. 1.00

02:42:46.000 Damn. 1.00

02:42:46.000 And they kind of do that with, the Nissan does that now with this thing called the GTR. They have this car, the GTR. It's actually more expensive now than it used to be for a while. 1.00

02:42:55.000 It's like they're barely breaking even on it.

02:42:57.000 But I think now they realize it has such a demand that you can kind of charge more money.

02:43:01.000 And they've continued to innovate it.

02:43:03.000 They continue to...

02:43:04.000 It's like a samurai sword.

02:43:05.000 They built the samurai sword, and I want to say the NSX came out in like 2007 or something like that.

02:43:09.000 I might be off.

02:43:10.000 But from that time, they've just made a better version every year.

02:43:14.000 Every year.

02:43:15.000 Every year.

02:43:16.000 Every year.

02:43:16.000 That's what it looks like now.

02:43:17.000 Wow.

02:43:18.000 In 2015...

02:43:19.000 How much that cost? 1.00

02:43:20.000 That's a hundred and something thousand, but it is a fucking spaceship. 0.99

02:43:26.000 Really? 0.98

02:43:27.000 I rented one of those when I was in Austin at, um, budget, no, um, Hertz. 0.99

02:43:32.000 Hertz Rent-A-Car will let you rent a fucking NSX. That's hilarious. 0.98

02:43:35.000 So I rented an NSX, and me and the Hinchcliffe machine were fucking tooling around. 0.96

02:43:40.000 Just sipping around? 0.98

02:43:41.000 Dude, that thing is the fastest fucking thing I've ever driven. 0.98

02:43:44.000 It doesn't look like it either. 0.98

02:43:45.000 That's what I like about it.

02:43:46.000 It's such a, you know, it's kind of an understated sports car.

02:43:49.000 That's not a GTR. What is that?

02:43:51.000 It's got different taillights.

02:43:52.000 It's a Mazda.

02:43:53.000 No, I think it's just got unique taillights.

02:43:55.000 Is that a real one?

02:43:58.000 Maybe.

02:43:59.000 The real taillights, go back to the previous image that you had.

02:44:02.000 That's the real taillights.

02:44:03.000 They're really cool looking.

02:44:04.000 It's a spaceship, man.

02:44:06.000 The way it handles, it's all like, the thing that people don't like about it, the people that don't like it.

02:44:12.000 Most people love it.

02:44:12.000 But the thing that people are a little perturbed about it, look at that.

02:44:15.000 Okay, so that's the Nissan.

02:44:17.000 I kept thinking we were looking at an Acura.

02:44:18.000 No, there's a new Acura NSX that's coming out as well, but it probably won't be.

02:44:22.000 Go back to that image, that rear-end image that you were just showing. 0.99

02:44:25.000 Look at that fucking thing. 0.99

02:44:26.000 That might as well be in Star Wars. 1.00

02:44:29.000 Look at the fucking way it's built. 0.99

02:44:30.000 And all of that is aerodynamics. 1.00

02:44:32.000 Like all that shit you see around the back end, all that shit around the pipes, that's all designed for downforce. 0.97

02:44:38.000 Extreme amounts of downforce. 0.99

02:44:40.000 Downforce is super important to me.

02:44:41.000 Well, that's why it has that tail in the back of it. 0.98

02:44:43.000 That's all about keeping the ass end down because this thing has such fucking insane power that sometimes they can catch flight. 0.99

02:44:52.000 Like, there's one in the Nürburgring. 1.00

02:44:54.000 So that's why you have that goddamn wing? 0.99

02:44:56.000 The wing. 1.00

02:44:57.000 Yes.

02:44:58.000 Yes.

02:44:58.000 But still, because of that, sometimes they get back-end heavy, which means the front end comes off the ground, and they go flying through the air.

02:45:06.000 What?

02:45:06.000 Yeah.

02:45:06.000 It happened recently at the Nürburgring.

02:45:08.000 The Nürburgring.

02:45:09.000 Look up this.

02:45:10.000 GTR crash at Nürburgring.

02:45:12.000 It's a crazy thing to watch, because you realize this is not just a crash.

02:45:16.000 This is a guy that has no control of his car, because the car's wheels aren't touching the ground.

02:45:20.000 Right.

02:45:20.000 It's flying.

02:45:22.000 It's crash, not grass.

02:45:25.000 Okay, go to videos.

02:45:27.000 That's it, right there.

02:45:28.000 Bam! 1.00

02:45:29.000 Watch this shit. 1.00

02:45:30.000 Oh, you motherfucker. 1.00

02:45:31.000 Watch this shit. 1.00

02:45:32.000 This hurts my, like, my anticipation hurts my, like, adrenal glands. 1.00

02:45:37.000 Look at this.

02:45:37.000 Whoa!

02:45:38.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:45:38.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 0.71

02:45:40.000 Yep.

02:45:40.000 Oh, that's crazy.

02:45:41.000 Yeah, watch that again.

02:45:42.000 He's going around the corner.

02:45:43.000 Somebody died, man.

02:45:45.000 Somebody died in this.

02:45:45.000 Yes, they did.

02:45:46.000 Got hit by the car?

02:45:47.000 Yeah, got hit by the car.

02:45:48.000 Look at this.

02:45:49.000 He's coming over the hill, and it just catches flight.

02:45:51.000 Like, he's scraping along the back bumper, like, just skipping through the air. 0.99

02:45:57.000 Fucking crazy. 0.97

02:45:58.000 The front end came so far off the ground that the car literally... 0.99

02:46:04.000 Was bumper to the ground.

02:46:06.000 Like, look at that.

02:46:06.000 The bumper's on the ground.

02:46:07.000 Dude, it went upside down even.

02:46:09.000 How fast is he going?

02:46:10.000 The wheel actually caught it from going upside down.

02:46:12.000 It goes back forward again and it flips.

02:46:14.000 Oh, he's going ridiculously fast.

02:46:15.000 But that's not what the problem was.

02:46:17.000 The problem was he lost control.

02:46:18.000 I mean, it's not about going fast.

02:46:20.000 It's about when do you go fast and when do you slow down.

02:46:22.000 And you've got to know, like, a...

02:46:25.000 A circuit, like the Nürburgring.

02:46:27.000 The Nürburgring is the most famous of all circuits when it comes to testing a car's lap time.

02:46:33.000 Like, if you can get a really fast lap time at the Nürburgring, it's worth millions of dollars.

02:46:37.000 Because that car will be the new king of the Nürburgring.

02:46:39.000 The GCR was like, I think, one of the best production cars in terms of lap times.

02:46:44.000 The fastest for the longest time was a Corvette ZR1. This is fucking insane. 0.99

02:46:51.000 650 horsepower Corvette. 0.99

02:46:53.000 But now the new Corvette Z06 is even faster than that.

02:46:55.000 And every year everyone's trying to get a faster lap time on that track.

02:47:00.000 But here's the problem with that track.

02:47:01.000 That track sort of mimics the real world in a sense that it's not like a flat line.

02:47:06.000 It's not like a flat circle like a NASCAR thing.

02:47:09.000 But there's ups and downs and twists and turns.

02:47:12.000 I mean, you're changing levels.

02:47:13.000 You're going up and down.

02:47:14.000 It's what you get from a real, it's a real test of a car's.

02:47:17.000 It's a real test of a car's ability in the real world.

02:47:19.000 So that is particularly disturbing.

02:47:21.000 Because that guy's coming off that hill like that with the kind of power that a real GT-R that you could buy in a store has.

02:47:28.000 And he's going flying through the air.

02:47:30.000 So you have to stop and think.

02:47:31.000 Look how beautiful that is.

02:47:33.000 My God.

02:47:34.000 Is that where the crash took place?

02:47:36.000 That's the Nurburgring.

02:47:37.000 Oh my god.

02:47:38.000 Look how beautiful it is.

02:47:39.000 Around it.

02:47:40.000 It's amazing.

02:47:41.000 Two things I've never understand when people stand too close to car races like that with no protection and guys who are watching golf when the guy tees off and they're literally right in the line of fire.

02:47:50.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

02:47:51.000 This especially though, right?

02:47:53.000 Look how beautiful that is, man.

02:47:55.000 You're flying around next to this unbelievable countryside.

02:47:59.000 It's so gorgeous.

02:48:00.000 There are parts of Germany and parts of Switzerland and parts of France that are just like that that blow your mind.

02:48:05.000 Then you go into these little towns and they've been there for A thousand years.

02:48:08.000 The issue with this racetrack, though, apparently is that it gets a lot of inclement weather.

02:48:14.000 Like, you'll watch a bunch of laps. 0.99

02:48:16.000 They'll do what's raining out and shit. 0.98

02:48:18.000 Like, in the UK, you know, like Top Gear. 0.99

02:48:20.000 It's one of the hilarious things about Top Gear is that so often they're testing cars and it's raining.

02:48:28.000 Like, Chris Harris, who's a guy I've had on the podcast before, is, like, one of my favorite automotive journalists.

02:48:33.000 So many times he's driving a car and it's raining out.

02:48:36.000 Really?

02:48:37.000 And he's testing it in the rain.

02:48:38.000 Yeah, it's in the UK. It rains all the fucking time out there. 0.99

02:48:40.000 Why do you think, and maybe this is, maybe not so, but is race car driving more popular in Europe than it is in the United States? 0.99

02:48:47.000 I would say so, yeah.

02:48:48.000 Formula One. 0.98

02:48:48.000 We just like dumb racing. 0.98

02:48:50.000 We're like, it's going left! 0.98

02:48:52.000 Again!

02:48:53.000 He's going left!

02:48:54.000 Swapping paint!

02:48:55.000 Swapping paint!

02:48:56.000 This is crazy!

02:48:58.000 Why does he have a southern accent?

02:48:58.000 Because that's most of the people that listen.

02:48:59.000 Damn it. 0.99

02:49:00.000 What if I did it like... 1.00

02:49:01.000 You're contradicting yourself.

02:49:02.000 What accent would be for this kid?

02:49:04.000 Why can't you speak this way?

02:49:05.000 It looks like they're swapping paint at the moment.

02:49:08.000 They're going left.

02:49:09.000 I'm in love with this Chevron car.

02:49:11.000 This gaining ground on him, I tell you, man, it's unbelievable!

02:49:14.000 The way he continues to turn left baffles the mind.

02:49:18.000 It's outragedly.

02:49:18.000 He's doing irreparable damage to his reputation and to his chassis.

02:49:22.000 How can he do it with such accuracy?

02:49:25.000 The art form.

02:49:26.000 Outrageous.

02:49:27.000 Now they're fighting.

02:49:28.000 It's a weird culture, the English man. 1.00

02:49:31.000 They're also the regal-ness and the way they have like set up all these different sort of patterns that they follow.

02:49:38.000 Yeah, it's all about self-control.

02:49:42.000 Do you play snooker?

02:49:43.000 A man plays snooker.

02:49:46.000 A hooligan will be playing eight ball at the bar.

02:49:50.000 But a gentleman prefers snooker.

02:49:53.000 Knowing your place.

02:49:54.000 Knowing your place.

02:49:55.000 Discipline.

02:49:56.000 The British were always very disciplined about, like, protocol.

02:49:59.000 What's to be done, what's not to be done.

02:50:02.000 Made good soldiers. 0.95

02:50:04.000 Until they figured out, Americans figured out, just shoot at that white stripe that they keep in the middle of their chest. 0.92

02:50:09.000 That was a long time ago! 1.00

02:50:10.000 Dumbasses. 1.00

02:50:11.000 That shit didn't even work. 1.00

02:50:12.000 But it's all the same thing. 1.00

02:50:14.000 Yeah. 0.89

02:50:14.000 People, they're folly. 0.89

02:50:15.000 They need to learn. 0.65

02:50:16.000 Well, they were wearing wigs and they had wool coats on in the heat. 0.98

02:50:19.000 It sucked. 0.58

02:50:20.000 What was that about? 0.98

02:50:21.000 Like, what was the wig thing about?

02:50:22.000 Like, the powdered wigs?

02:50:23.000 Like, why did they have powdered wigs?

02:50:25.000 There was always a form of, even the French up until World War I wore, you know, lots of, like, very, like, feathers and very brightly colored clothing.

02:50:34.000 Peacocks.

02:50:34.000 Yeah.

02:50:35.000 As a soldier, first of all, you had a uniform, and our uniform is going to be much more grandiose.

02:50:40.000 We have more money than you people do.

02:50:42.000 We're of higher birth, so our soldiers are decorated with the honor that is bestowed on the greatest army there is.

02:50:49.000 We're a sparkling jewel.

02:50:51.000 All of that.

02:50:51.000 Our sabers are polished.

02:50:54.000 Shiny.

02:50:55.000 Shiny and bright colors.

02:50:57.000 Think about how birds, it's the same thing. 1.00

02:50:59.000 Until Vietnam, those motherfuckers started hiding in holes in the ground and shooting at us. 1.00

02:51:03.000 And the Brits always just wore khaki. 1.00

02:51:05.000 The Brits were just fucking down-home khaki motherfuckers. 1.00

02:51:08.000 They were just like, yeah, you guys wear all your stuff. 1.00

02:51:10.000 We're going to wear our khakis.

02:51:12.000 I wonder who figured out hunting, like camo for hunting.

02:51:15.000 Like, who was the first person to invent camo?

02:51:17.000 I think it goes back to millennia.

02:51:19.000 You think so? 1.00

02:51:20.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:51:20.000 Like leaves and shit, right? 1.00

02:51:21.000 Yes, they were covering themselves in leaves, waiting in the cold for dinner. 0.99

02:51:25.000 Mmm fuck yeah, they made it you didn't it's true you didn't get to this point trust me Trust me you with your fucking ironic glasses on that don't even have a real Lens like people wear like clear glass Fashion has always been another thing that we... 0.98

02:51:43.000 Fashion has always been there. 0.99

02:51:46.000 People's appearance.

02:51:47.000 I mean, you know, if you look at indigenous cultures that have had very little contact, they're still putting bones to their nose and wearing feathers and peacocking men and women. 0.99

02:51:56.000 But the eyeglass one is one of the weirdest ones.

02:52:00.000 Well, a friend of mine's mother, he couldn't get a job.

02:52:03.000 It wasn't a friend of mine.

02:52:04.000 A friend of mine told me this story about this kid.

02:52:05.000 He's Puerto Rican.

02:52:06.000 And he couldn't get a job.

02:52:07.000 And his mother said, he was a great student, he's a great guy, just couldn't get a job.

02:52:11.000 He was trying to work on Wall Street.

02:52:12.000 His mother went out and bought him a pair of glasses.

02:52:15.000 Wow.

02:52:15.000 Just clear glasses.

02:52:16.000 And he got every job he went in for.

02:52:18.000 He had glasses on.

02:52:19.000 They went, this guy must read. 0.99

02:52:20.000 And he got every fucking good job. 0.99

02:52:22.000 His mother was genius. 0.99

02:52:23.000 He said, I'm going to put some glasses on you.

02:52:25.000 Watch this.

02:52:25.000 It's also the only, like, handicap that is sexually arousing.

02:52:30.000 100%.

02:52:31.000 Like, men like a secretary-looking chick with glasses on.

02:52:33.000 Women like men with glasses. 1.00

02:52:35.000 Really?

02:52:35.000 Do they?

02:52:36.000 Oh, yeah.

02:52:36.000 Tell me about it.

02:52:36.000 What do you do?

02:52:37.000 You put glasses on?

02:52:38.000 I have to use my reading glasses sometimes, which I resist all the time.

02:52:41.000 And my wife went, that's really sexy. 1.00

02:52:44.000 Oh, she likes old dudes. 0.56

02:52:45.000 She likes gray in my beard.

02:52:46.000 She likes guys that are dying.

02:52:47.000 Loves old guys.

02:52:48.000 She loves old men. 0.99

02:52:50.000 She loves him wrinkly.

02:52:52.000 Wrinkles!

02:52:52.000 We're almost out of time.

02:52:53.000 I understand that you're going to be in Sacramento doing your stand-up comedy this weekend, Brian.

02:52:57.000 Tell us about it, and what can we expect at the Punchline?

02:53:00.000 I'm glad you asked, Joe.

02:53:01.000 I'm going to be at the Sacramento Punchline, tearing it up this Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and I am under the impression, I've been talking to TJ Dillashaw and Uriah Faber, and there's a chance they might come out and see me, because they're friends of mine, and I couldn't be more excited about that.

02:53:15.000 Yes, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Joe, and I want to say one more thing.

02:53:18.000 What?

02:53:19.000 You know I've got a podcast called The Fighter and the Kid.

02:53:21.000 I heard that it gets 1.5 million downloads a month.

02:53:24.000 Is that true?

02:53:25.000 That's the rumor, and the rumor's true. 0.99

02:53:27.000 Wow.

02:53:28.000 More importantly, I'm going to be having...

02:53:30.000 There was a documentary called Lady Valor, and I'm going to be having the Navy SEAL who became a woman, Kristen Beck, on our podcast, and I am very excited.

02:53:41.000 We're going to record it soon.

02:53:42.000 That's amazing.

02:53:42.000 Keep the camera on him, Jamie.

02:53:44.000 This is a surprise.

02:53:45.000 That's right, ladies and gentlemen.

02:53:46.000 We're going to record it soon.

02:53:47.000 Jeez, Joe's taking the shirt off, and you've got a body. 0.95

02:53:50.000 You look like a naked silverback. 1.00

02:53:52.000 This is a surprise, dude. 0.99

02:53:53.000 Oh, sorry, buddy.

02:53:54.000 Oh, I love it!

02:53:54.000 Okay, here we got the surprise coming, you guys.

02:53:57.000 Christmas comes early, ladies and gentlemen.

02:54:00.000 Our biggest promoter.

02:54:01.000 You're looking at not just a shirt, but a cultural phenomenon.

02:54:04.000 This shirt, this Master Kim's 1984 Taekwondo National Champion shirt from the Fighter and the Kid, they sold 800 of them in about six minutes.

02:54:13.000 That's right, ladies and gentlemen.

02:54:14.000 They flew off the shelves.

02:54:16.000 Can't keep them in stock!

02:54:17.000 They bought new ones.

02:54:18.000 They were gone by the end of the day.

02:54:20.000 There it is.

02:54:20.000 Their twice restocked shirt.

02:54:22.000 This motherfucker right here. 1.00

02:54:23.000 A cultural phenomenon that is the fighter and the kid. 1.00

02:54:26.000 Now, what does that feel?

02:54:26.000 We're running out of time.

02:54:27.000 But that's got to be trippy, like, to know that you guys, like, you guys are, like, that show is taking off, man.

02:54:32.000 It really is.

02:54:33.000 It's a good fucking podcast. 0.94

02:54:34.000 I appreciate it, and a lot of it has to do with your support, and we just try to keep it inspiring and funny. 0.97

02:54:41.000 It's one of those things, I think it's chemistry.

02:54:43.000 I'm just doing it and showing up, and you never expect it to be...

02:54:46.000 You're not managing success.

02:54:47.000 I just show up and do it.

02:54:48.000 But I think Brendan and I have a great chemistry.

02:54:51.000 It's very unusual.

02:54:52.000 He's hilarious.

02:54:53.000 You guys are hilarious together, too.

02:54:55.000 It's a very, very funny chemistry.

02:54:57.000 We crack each other up.

02:54:58.000 Yeah.

02:54:58.000 And we try to stay as authentic as we can.

02:55:00.000 That's...

02:55:01.000 That's rare, and both really good dudes, you know?

02:55:04.000 And that comes through in the show.

02:55:05.000 Like, I know a lot of people that, like, on the underground, especially, like, that guy won me over. 1.00

02:55:09.000 Fucker. 1.00

02:55:09.000 Like, they listen to the fighter and the kid, and like, get used to him. 1.00

02:55:12.000 I'm telling you, like, I was telling, I've been telling Dana White this forever.

02:55:15.000 I'm like, the guy's a great guy.

02:55:16.000 Like, you know, like, you gotta get to know him.

02:55:18.000 Well, Brendan doesn't take himself seriously.

02:55:19.000 He's very aware of his faults, and he's always working on them.

02:55:23.000 He's a guy who constantly grows. 1.00

02:55:25.000 He's so silly. 1.00

02:55:26.000 He says hilarious shit. 1.00

02:55:28.000 Did you see the Instagram I posted of him wearing that hat? 1.00

02:55:31.000 Yes, the sailor hat.

02:55:31.000 I was like, I can't be friends with you.

02:55:32.000 He kept going, all hands on dick. 1.00

02:55:34.000 All hands on dick, everybody. 0.99

02:55:36.000 Like, we don't even know the people we're playing volleyball. 1.00

02:55:39.000 He's got his hands on his knees, this giant UFC fighter going, all hands on dick. 0.96

02:55:44.000 That's always fun for everybody else involved. 1.00

02:55:46.000 He's a silly goose. 0.99

02:55:47.000 On the outside trying to figure out what's happening. 1.00

02:55:48.000 Yeah.

02:55:48.000 Okay.

02:55:51.000 Making his macho face.

02:55:53.000 With his cauliflower ear. 1.00

02:55:54.000 He's so silly. 0.99

02:55:55.000 He's a funny dude. 0.98

02:55:57.000 Fighter and the Kid is available on iTunes.

02:55:59.000 It's a hilarious podcast.

02:56:00.000 It really is fun.

02:56:01.000 And you guys get some great guests.

02:56:02.000 And Lady Valor, that's going to be very interesting.

02:56:05.000 I want to talk to her.

02:56:06.000 I want to have her on.

02:56:07.000 That's an insane story.

02:56:08.000 And I'll ask better questions than you. 1.00

02:56:09.000 So what I'll do is I'll just watch you guys fuck it up first. 0.99

02:56:12.000 And I'll come in. 0.99

02:56:13.000 I've been trying to think what to ask her.

02:56:15.000 I'm so excited, man.

02:56:16.000 Oh yeah, we went turkey hunting.

02:56:18.000 This podcast is supposed to be about that.

02:56:20.000 I know.

02:56:20.000 We missed it.

02:56:21.000 We also did a podcast last week, folks.

02:56:23.000 If you want to get it, it's available on iTunes.

02:56:25.000 It's just in the car with an iPhone.

02:56:27.000 Just Brian and I driving, having fun talking shit for like two hours or something. 1.00

02:56:31.000 Talking important shit. 0.99

02:56:32.000 The Fighter and the Kid podcast. 0.99

02:56:34.000 The Punchline in Sacramento this weekend.

02:56:37.000 Friday, Saturday, Sunday?

02:56:38.000 Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

02:56:39.000 Thursday, Friday, Saturday. 1.00

02:56:41.000 A fucking phenomenal club. 0.99

02:56:42.000 If you live up there and you haven't been there, it's an iconic club. 0.99

02:56:46.000 It's one of the best set-up clubs in the country. 0.98

02:56:48.000 And this weekend, Brian motherfucking Callen. 0.98

02:56:51.000 Brian Callen with a Y-B-R-Y-A-N Callen on Twitter. 0.99

02:56:54.000 Much love.

02:56:55.000 Sacramento, Sacramento. 1.00

02:56:56.000 You fuckers. 1.00

02:56:57.000 See you soon. 1.00

02:56:58.000 Punchline SAC. Punchline Sacramento.

02:57:00.000 Alright, that's it.

02:57:01.000 I'm at the COD Theater May 22nd with Tom Segura and Tony Hinchcliffe, the COD Theater at the MGM in Vegas.

02:57:06.000 That's all I got coming up.

02:57:08.000 See ya!

02:57:08.000 Oh, this weekend in Montreal, but it sold out.

02:57:10.000 Alright, much love, you fuckers. 1.00

02:57:12.000 See you soon. 1.00

The Joe Rogan Experience - April 20, 2015

Joe Rogan Experience #636 - Bryan Callen

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