The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #647 - Dom Irrera

00:00:00.000 There's a lot of people listening, a lot of folks.

00:00:02.000 Look at you looking at me.

00:00:03.000 God bless you.

00:00:04.000 Look at you looking at me looking at you.

00:00:05.000 Look at you with your yoga class.

00:00:07.000 I did yoga class for the first time in a while.

00:00:09.000 All stretched out. 0.94

00:00:10.000 It's fucking hard to do, but you feel great. 0.90

00:00:12.000 You ever do it? 0.97

00:00:12.000 Yeah, I kept falling asleep. 0.97

00:00:14.000 I swear to God, I was doing it at the West Side Y in New York.

00:00:17.000 I'd go with my wife.

00:00:18.000 I would always fall asleep.

00:00:19.000 You fell asleep in yoga class?

00:00:21.000 Yeah.

00:00:22.000 I don't even know how that's possible.

00:00:24.000 Well, you know, you lay down and just don't get up.

00:00:29.000 Really.

00:00:30.000 It's hard to do though.

00:00:32.000 I did.

00:00:32.000 I fell asleep a number of times.

00:00:34.000 But I mean, it's hard.

00:00:35.000 The yoga's hard to do.

00:00:36.000 Oh, yeah.

00:00:37.000 Maybe this wasn't that hard.

00:00:38.000 This was just like stretching and stuff.

00:00:41.000 I did hot yoga.

00:00:42.000 Oh, no.

00:00:43.000 No way.

00:00:44.000 As soon as you walk in, you're sweating.

00:00:46.000 I don't like that.

00:00:47.000 But it's good for you.

00:00:49.000 You really stretch out because of it. 0.99

00:00:50.000 But goddamn, it takes a long time to stop sweating. 0.98

00:00:54.000 After you get out of there, I was sweating for like an hour and a half. 0.99

00:00:57.000 Did you drink a lot?

00:00:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:00:59.000 Drank a ton of water before, a ton of water after.

00:01:03.000 But it's so hot in there. 0.98

00:01:04.000 I mean, I don't know how many, 100 plus degrees, whatever the fuck it is while you're in there. 0.98

00:01:08.000 Drinking alcohol must be a good buzz after that. 1.00

00:01:11.000 Yeah, you'd probably die.

00:01:12.000 Nah.

00:01:13.000 Nice cold beer with a shot of vodka?

00:01:15.000 Come on, Joe.

00:01:16.000 A shot of vodka?

00:01:17.000 You heard me, tough guy.

00:01:18.000 I don't drink vodka by the shot.

00:01:19.000 I'm more of a screwdriver sort of a gentleman.

00:01:22.000 Screwdriver?

00:01:22.000 What are you, my aunt?

00:01:23.000 I like a little bit of orange juice.

00:01:25.000 Why don't you have a Tom Collins?

00:01:27.000 Tom Collins.

00:01:28.000 I don't even...

00:01:29.000 I don't even know what a Tom Collins is.

00:01:30.000 I don't either.

00:01:30.000 I just like the name.

00:01:31.000 I know what a Cosmopolitan is, but I don't know what's in it.

00:01:34.000 But I know the broads like it, Dom. 0.95

00:01:36.000 I'll have a Cosmo.

00:01:38.000 There's a few drinks, right, that they're feminized for whatever reason.

00:01:42.000 Those drinks became a woman's drink. 1.00

00:01:45.000 And then there's like vacation drinks, like a pina colada.

00:01:49.000 If you're out with the boys.

00:01:50.000 But you can't get high on them.

00:01:52.000 You get sick first.

00:01:53.000 Really?

00:01:54.000 Oh, that's sweet, yeah. 0.99

00:01:55.000 You can get pretty fucked up on those things. 0.98

00:01:57.000 Get a buzz on the pina coladas and how much ice you gotta drink. 0.98

00:02:00.000 That's true.

00:02:01.000 But the ice is probably good for you.

00:02:02.000 It helps rehydrate you.

00:02:04.000 I'm back on the sauce, by the way.

00:02:05.000 Back up, back down.

00:02:06.000 Back up, back down.

00:02:07.000 You're in, you're out.

00:02:08.000 I swear, I'm never doing it again.

00:02:11.000 That's a danger of being a comedian, though, because I set my alarm, like, if I'm hungover, I got a show at 8 o'clock, I set my alarm for 6. P.M.? Yeah.

00:02:22.000 Whoa.

00:02:22.000 That's sad, I mean.

00:02:23.000 It's ridiculous. 0.85

00:02:25.000 I mean, like, you got, you know, you got kids, you got a life. 0.91

00:02:27.000 I got, I'm a stand-up.

00:02:29.000 Nothing else. 0.99

00:02:29.000 I'm a clown. 0.99

00:02:30.000 I'm a verbal clown. 0.95

00:02:31.000 So, the time between you go to bed and 6pm, all that's spent sleeping? 0.67

00:02:36.000 Well, no, but it's just...

00:02:38.000 I roll over in pain and agony.

00:02:41.000 I lament my mistake for the night.

00:02:44.000 Because the buzz doesn't last nearly as long as the suffering.

00:02:47.000 That's true.

00:02:48.000 That's one thing.

00:02:49.000 If you are willing to go through the hangover just to get to that buzz, that's a big...

00:02:58.000 But you don't.

00:02:58.000 It's the opposite.

00:02:59.000 You go through the buzz and then you get the hangover.

00:03:01.000 I regret it every time.

00:03:03.000 Very few people would go through... 0.84

00:03:05.000 The only way to get drunk is you had to feel like shit for 24 hours first and then you could drink. 0.90

00:03:12.000 Nobody would drink. 0.99

00:03:13.000 Right now, as soon as you said the Ice House was sold out, I thought to myself, me and you, martinis.

00:03:19.000 That's the first thing I thought.

00:03:21.000 Why'd you think that?

00:03:22.000 I don't know.

00:03:23.000 I just had the image of having a martini before you went on.

00:03:25.000 What kind of martini?

00:03:26.000 Like a James Bond type?

00:03:27.000 Shaken, not stirred? 1.00

00:03:28.000 That kind of shit? 1.00

00:03:28.000 A little bit dirty. 1.00

00:03:29.000 A little dirty?

00:03:30.000 I like saying that to a girl. 1.00

00:03:32.000 A little stinky. 0.99

00:03:35.000 Grey goose. 0.85

00:03:37.000 Extra dry.

00:03:37.000 You know what extra dry means?

00:03:38.000 Not really.

00:03:39.000 Straight alcohol.

00:03:40.000 Oh, okay.

00:03:41.000 The other thing is vermouth they put in them, which waters it down a little.

00:03:45.000 That's why it's called a martini instead of a straight glass of vodka.

00:03:48.000 But basically...

00:03:49.000 They're either gin or vodka, but everybody just makes them pretty much strong.

00:03:53.000 What's vermouth?

00:03:54.000 It's like some kind of sweet liqueur that's mixed with...

00:03:57.000 You wouldn't drink it on its own.

00:03:58.000 Huh.

00:03:59.000 So you only drink it in a drink.

00:04:00.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:04:01.000 Yeah, like, olive juice is goddamn delicious. 0.95

00:04:04.000 Delicious. 0.95

00:04:04.000 Especially in a nice martini. 0.95

00:04:06.000 It's good for the blood pressure, too.

00:04:07.000 I'm sure.

00:04:08.000 Juice of salt.

00:04:09.000 Olives are very good for everything, right?

00:04:11.000 Yeah.

00:04:11.000 Olives are fantastic for you.

00:04:13.000 Yeah, the olive oil.

00:04:15.000 That's why all these Italians and French live so long. 1.00

00:04:18.000 And those poor fucking Greek fucks. 1.00

00:04:20.000 Those people, they live on that place where nothing else grows. 1.00

00:04:22.000 Where's that?

00:04:23.000 The island? 1.00

00:04:24.000 They gotta eat olives and shit. 1.00

00:04:26.000 Really? 1.00

00:04:26.000 Oh, it's hard. 1.00

00:04:27.000 Yeah, the places where olives grow, like people that use olives as a staple in their diet, it's very laborious.

00:04:35.000 I have an olive tree in my yard. 0.99

00:04:36.000 It's not easy getting olives out of that fucker. 1.00

00:04:39.000 Did you ever think you'd have an olive tree, Joe, where you grew up? 1.00

00:04:41.000 No, I did not.

00:04:42.000 I didn't ask for it.

00:04:43.000 It was just there when I moved in.

00:04:45.000 But my dogs eat the olives.

00:04:47.000 You don't eat them?

00:04:48.000 Yeah, nope.

00:04:50.000 Nope.

00:04:50.000 You don't just eat them.

00:04:51.000 I would never trust anything that I grew.

00:04:55.000 You know what I mean?

00:04:56.000 I'd still go to the store, even if I had an orange tree.

00:04:59.000 No, I have oranges.

00:05:00.000 I eat those.

00:05:01.000 Lemons, I eat those.

00:05:02.000 I grow tomatoes and kale.

00:05:04.000 I have a garden.

00:05:05.000 I grow a bunch of different kinds of vegetables.

00:05:07.000 I eat them all the time.

00:05:08.000 Kale.

00:05:08.000 They're good.

00:05:10.000 Tomatoes, especially. 0.99

00:05:11.000 You can grow some fucking jam and tomatoes in your yard. 0.99

00:05:13.000 Tomatoes can be delicious. 1.00

00:05:15.000 I've never had a craving for kale.

00:05:17.000 I never woke up in the middle of my, babe, we got any kale?

00:05:20.000 It's always chips and soda.

00:05:22.000 Why is it always the bad stuff you crave?

00:05:24.000 I don't know, but I'm on a good run lately.

00:05:26.000 I came home from the comedy store last night.

00:05:29.000 How'd you do? 0.95

00:05:30.000 Killed. 1.00

00:05:31.000 I destroyed. 0.99

00:05:32.000 Destroyed.

00:05:33.000 And I said, you know what?

00:05:34.000 I was thinking about eating unhealthy, and I said, I'm on a good run right now. 1.00

00:05:38.000 I'm going to go to the fucking supermarket, get a bunch of fresh vegetables, and blend those fuckers up. 1.00

00:05:42.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:05:42.000 And I made a kale shake at like 1 o'clock in the morning. 1.00

00:05:45.000 That's why I like those juices that it's all like green juice and stuff.

00:05:51.000 Because that's a lazy way out, but at least it's healthy.

00:05:53.000 Yeah, there's a good place down the street from here I go.

00:05:55.000 It's called Juicy Lady. 1.00

00:05:57.000 And they have them, you know, you just order them right there.

00:06:00.000 It's nice. 1.00

00:06:01.000 But just get fucking vegetables in your body. 1.00

00:06:04.000 So many people don't drink enough vegetables. 1.00

00:06:07.000 They don't eat enough vegetables.

00:06:08.000 It's like the number one problem, I think, that most people have.

00:06:11.000 They just don't get enough nutrients in their body, and their body's forced to make do.

00:06:15.000 You live a dull existence, like your mind is dull.

00:06:18.000 You know, your body feels dull.

00:06:20.000 I eat a little too much salami.

00:06:22.000 I love salami.

00:06:23.000 I know.

00:06:24.000 That's what God's plan was.

00:06:26.000 If you really love it, you're not going to live long.

00:06:27.000 I found this place.

00:06:29.000 It's called Bordeaux.

00:06:31.000 It's out in Agora Hills.

00:06:33.000 I was just here the other day.

00:06:35.000 And they make their own charcuterie.

00:06:38.000 How do you say it?

00:06:39.000 Charcuterie?

00:06:41.000 Charcuterie?

00:06:42.000 Charcuterie?

00:06:42.000 I don't know.

00:06:43.000 There's, you know, smoked meats.

00:06:44.000 They make their own salamis and hams and stuff like that. 0.98

00:06:47.000 It was fucking fantastic. 0.99

00:06:49.000 When you find someone who's an expert at that shit and they really know what they're doing, I'm going to bring the guy some bear meat and have him turn it into salami. 1.00

00:06:57.000 You going hunting again? 1.00

00:07:01.000 Yes!

00:07:02.000 Have you shot a bear?

00:07:03.000 Yeah.

00:07:04.000 Yeah, I shot a bear.

00:07:05.000 Wow.

00:07:06.000 That's cool.

00:07:06.000 Just come over and eat some.

00:07:07.000 It's delicious.

00:07:08.000 No, I'm good.

00:07:10.000 I'll just stop it in and out.

00:07:11.000 Tastes good, man.

00:07:12.000 People have this idea of, like, people ate bearish for a long time before supermarkets were invented.

00:07:17.000 Well, it's funny how we separate what's really good for us to eat.

00:07:20.000 Like, it's okay.

00:07:21.000 Like, chickens and, you know, there are certain things...

00:07:25.000 Like, I wouldn't think of eating horse or buffalo.

00:07:28.000 I ate some horse in Montreal.

00:07:32.000 Montreal.

00:07:33.000 There's this place called Joe Beef.

00:07:34.000 It's a famous restaurant.

00:07:36.000 Oh, I know it.

00:07:36.000 You know that place?

00:07:37.000 I've been there, yeah.

00:07:37.000 That place is fantastic.

00:07:38.000 Yeah, it's great.

00:07:39.000 And they served us beef two different times.

00:07:42.000 One time, it was like a beef tartare.

00:07:45.000 Or, excuse me, not beef, horse.

00:07:46.000 I was in there with you.

00:07:47.000 Were you?

00:07:48.000 When?

00:07:48.000 Yeah, I think the night of the fight.

00:07:51.000 Mmm, maybe.

00:07:52.000 I'm almost positive we went there.

00:07:53.000 Probably.

00:07:55.000 After that great French kid...

00:07:57.000 George St. Pierre?

00:07:58.000 Yeah.

00:07:59.000 Yeah, most likely.

00:07:59.000 Yeah.

00:08:00.000 I've been there a bunch of times.

00:08:01.000 I probably took you.

00:08:02.000 Yeah.

00:08:02.000 Makes sense.

00:08:03.000 Did you eat the horse?

00:08:04.000 Did you have a horse there?

00:08:05.000 No.

00:08:06.000 I went with Duncan.

00:08:06.000 We had horse tartare.

00:08:08.000 Oh my God, that's really going too far.

00:08:11.000 Like egg and...

00:08:11.000 Oh, so good.

00:08:12.000 I hear the ponies delicious.

00:08:14.000 I'm a donkey guy myself.

00:08:17.000 And we had a horse tenderloin, you know, but it's one of those things like, you know, you say horse to people and it's for some folks Like there's a lady that lives in my neighborhood.

00:08:26.000 I would never tell her that I ate a horse She rides she rides her horse by my house every day and she's real nice, you know Don't let her know that I eat horse I don't eat a horse on a regular basis. 0.91

00:08:36.000 No, you can't.

00:08:37.000 It's too rich. 0.99

00:08:39.000 Donkey cock is a delicacy.

00:08:41.000 We served horse on Fear Factor. 0.92

00:08:44.000 It was one of the biggest issues on the show.

00:08:46.000 Oh, really? 0.56

00:08:47.000 Yeah, as far as people complaining, we serve people horse rectums. 1.00

00:08:52.000 Oh my god.

00:08:53.000 Yeah.

00:08:54.000 And people were so angry.

00:08:56.000 They were so angry.

00:08:58.000 We had so many calls.

00:08:59.000 And this was like, you know, the early days of Fear Factor was essentially before the internet had a real voice.

00:09:06.000 You know, it wasn't.

00:09:06.000 The social media aspect of the internet hadn't really been created yet the way it is now.

00:09:10.000 Right.

00:09:11.000 It was more of like, you know, there was like a few websites and a few blogs and stuff like that.

00:09:16.000 But the Twitter presence, the Facebook, you know, the communities that existed, they didn't exist like they do now.

00:09:23.000 Yeah, it's amazing what world's changed with that.

00:09:26.000 It's amazing.

00:09:27.000 For the good and for the bad, but more for the good than anything.

00:09:30.000 You helped me get on that.

00:09:31.000 You gotta get on it, Dominic, because it's the only way to promote.

00:09:34.000 I had Lou Gatz before you.

00:09:36.000 Yeah, you gotta promote.

00:09:38.000 I mean, it's the best way, because you think about all the stuff that we used to have to do.

00:09:42.000 You know, every time you would go on the road, you'd have to show up days earlier and do all this press.

00:09:46.000 Like, I think Ralphie May was still doing that up until recently, where he would show up at a town, like, weeks out, and do press, and then come back in a week of, and...

00:09:56.000 You know, really try to get the word out that he was going to be there.

00:10:00.000 I'll do press in Philly.

00:10:01.000 Like I told you, I have the Atlantic City gig next week.

00:10:03.000 Yeah, the Atlantic City gig is a great gig for you, right?

00:10:06.000 That's your area.

00:10:07.000 Those are your goombas. 1.00

00:10:09.000 Tropicana next Saturday, and it's 2,000 people.

00:10:12.000 It's the most intimate 2,000 theater I've ever been in.

00:10:15.000 You know how they're built in such a way, like it's kind of an arc, and so half of them are kind of around you.

00:10:21.000 It's really beautiful.

00:10:22.000 You worked at AC at all?

00:10:24.000 Yeah, I've done the Borgata a couple times, but that's it.

00:10:27.000 I've never done the Trop.

00:10:29.000 But the difference is, the Borgata is a four wall, so the casino is not as behind you as they are at the Sands.

00:10:38.000 The Borgata was good, but the Sands is great.

00:10:40.000 Not the Sands.

00:10:42.000 Tropicana.

00:10:42.000 You know why I say the Sands?

00:10:44.000 Because it's the best gig I've had since the Sands.

00:10:46.000 Oh, really?

00:10:46.000 Yeah, that was the first place I ever headlined.

00:10:48.000 Imagine how cool that was, Joe, for me.

00:10:50.000 You know the feeling.

00:10:52.000 I go there with Cher, which is already a big deal.

00:10:55.000 My family and friends are there.

00:10:56.000 And then, you know, nothing like pleasing your sister, your mother, people you love.

00:10:59.000 And then I get the headline there.

00:11:01.000 And I got the headline, and then he had me headline when Whitney Houston couldn't make like a couple nights.

00:11:08.000 And then I opened for her. 1.00

00:11:10.000 What a fucking nightmare. 1.00

00:11:12.000 You opened for Whitney Houston? 1.00

00:11:13.000 Oh my god.

00:11:14.000 She was late all the time.

00:11:15.000 And I'm up on stage, you know, and I told the crowd, I said, look, I'm not jerking you guys off.

00:11:20.000 I said, I'm up here, not because I'm being self-indulgent.

00:11:23.000 She ain't here.

00:11:24.000 And I said, I ain't taking a bullet for her.

00:11:26.000 She ain't here.

00:11:27.000 And then they started cheering.

00:11:28.000 I said, and I'm not going to leave you in the dark.

00:11:30.000 Wow, so you just hung out with them?

00:11:32.000 Well, no, I just stayed on stage.

00:11:33.000 For how long?

00:11:35.000 Oh, like 45 an hour.

00:11:36.000 I was supposed to do 25 minutes, you know.

00:11:38.000 Wow.

00:11:38.000 And where was she?

00:11:40.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:11:40.000 She was probably doing coke and eating pussy. 1.00

00:11:42.000 How dare you? 1.00

00:11:43.000 I can't even believe you said that.

00:11:45.000 Don't you know she has left us?

00:11:47.000 I know.

00:11:48.000 Have some respect for the dead, Dom Herrera.

00:11:50.000 Take it back.

00:11:51.000 I take it back.

00:11:52.000 If it's bad karma, I take it back.

00:11:55.000 I like that part. 1.00

00:11:57.000 Doing coke and eating pussy? 1.00

00:11:59.000 Yeah, I'd like to be there to watch it at the very least. 1.00

00:12:01.000 I haven't either. 1.00

00:12:02.000 But I've eaten some pussy. 1.00

00:12:04.000 How about you? 1.00

00:12:04.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:12:06.000 You know them all.

00:12:09.000 You actually know them.

00:12:10.000 Whitney Houston, that was a weird one, right?

00:12:13.000 Because like when she was doing that movie, My Bodyguard, she was America's Sweetheart.

00:12:17.000 I know.

00:12:18.000 And you know, her and Kevin Costner were in love and she was the superstar and she had that amazing voice.

00:12:23.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:12:24.000 Fuck, man. 1.00

00:12:25.000 She didn't have an amazing voice when I worked with her, though. 1.00

00:12:28.000 She was going down.

00:12:29.000 Oh, really?

00:12:29.000 From the coke and all.

00:12:30.000 Yeah, she was. 0.98

00:12:31.000 Tell you who was fucking great was Natalie Cole. 0.98

00:12:34.000 Really? 0.99

00:12:34.000 Of all the people I opened for, she was fucking talented. 0.99

00:12:37.000 No shit. 1.00

00:12:38.000 Did you ever do that stuff, Joe? 1.00

00:12:39.000 No, no, I never opened for...

00:12:41.000 Well, I did some stuff for MTV where I opened up for Bon Jovi once.

00:12:46.000 Oh, they're good guys.

00:12:47.000 Did you get to hang with them?

00:12:48.000 Yeah, just said hi.

00:12:48.000 They were very nice.

00:12:49.000 Yeah.

00:12:50.000 And I'm trying to think, maybe one or two other bands I think I did.

00:12:53.000 I'm trying to remember.

00:12:54.000 But the Bon Jovi one was weird because it was a theater in the round.

00:12:56.000 It was the first time I ever did it.

00:12:57.000 Oh, I hate theater in the round.

00:12:58.000 It was very weird because there was all this musical equipment on stage, too, and they asked me to...

00:13:04.000 I was warming up the crowd, and I was also supposed to get people to come closer to the stage, and they wanted me to just get attractive people.

00:13:13.000 They wanted me to just get pretty girls to come closer to the stage. 1.00

00:13:16.000 You, stay back! 1.00

00:13:17.000 Yeah, what the fuck? 1.00

00:13:19.000 There's no way to do that without being a lech or a creepy fuck. 1.00

00:13:23.000 Hey, pretty girl, come over here. 1.00

00:13:25.000 What are you girls with the nice ass and the big tits? 1.00

00:13:27.000 Come here. 1.00

00:13:28.000 Like, what do you do to that?

00:13:30.000 I don't remember how I handled it.

00:13:31.000 It was a long time ago.

00:13:32.000 It was, you know, early 90s.

00:13:34.000 My first gig was Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. 1.00

00:13:37.000 Oh, shit! 1.00

00:13:37.000 Asbury Park Convention Center. 1.00

00:13:39.000 Oh, shit! 0.99

00:13:40.000 And a guy says to me, you know, 4,000 people, which was really a lot then. 1.00

00:13:45.000 I was just starting out, you know.

00:13:46.000 And a guy hands me $250.

00:13:48.000 He goes, stay on as long as you can.

00:13:51.000 Right?

00:13:51.000 What does that mean?

00:13:52.000 Yeah, exactly what it said.

00:13:54.000 Exactly what he said.

00:13:55.000 So I go up, and I'm like, remember that Pinche Loaf bit I used to have?

00:13:58.000 Yeah.

00:13:58.000 The Pinche Loaf, the Cafe Squad, the Rose Squad.

00:14:00.000 I was doing that bit.

00:14:02.000 And half the audience was laughing.

00:14:04.000 2,000 people laughing. 0.99

00:14:05.000 The other 2,000, we hate you! 0.98

00:14:08.000 Joan! 0.99

00:14:09.000 They're screaming, right?

00:14:10.000 And I was up there for less than, like, maybe two minutes, and somebody tossed just like a Dixie cup top, just, you know, a light piece of paper.

00:14:18.000 All I had to see was that I was out of there.

00:14:21.000 And the guy goes, you did great!

00:14:23.000 I go, he's only on for two minutes!

00:14:25.000 He goes, nobody lasts that long. 0.99

00:14:27.000 What the fuck do you have comedians for? 0.99

00:14:29.000 You know, it's a change of pace because the band's tuning up. 0.99

00:14:34.000 You can hear the band tuning up.

00:14:37.000 Yeah, that's one thing that's weird about opening for bands.

00:14:39.000 They will tune up while you're on stage.

00:14:41.000 Well, on that level, yeah.

00:14:42.000 I mean, when I worked with Shera, it was classy because she was the one that was by far the best job I ever had opening for anybody. 1.00

00:14:50.000 Because, you know, she had a great crowd. 0.71

00:14:51.000 She had transvestites and grandmothers with their grandchildren.

00:14:56.000 That was the audience?

00:14:56.000 Yeah, eclectic.

00:14:57.000 You know what the security told me?

00:14:59.000 If they ever saw a single straight guy alone and he looked straight, they would track him all night.

00:15:07.000 Because no guy alone goes to a Cher concert if he's straight. 0.97

00:15:11.000 If it's a gay guy dancing and happy, no problem. 0.98

00:15:15.000 So if someone's gonna be like a crazy stalker. 0.98

00:15:17.000 It's gonna be a straight guy.

00:15:18.000 Straight guy.

00:15:19.000 But she was fun to open for.

00:15:21.000 Yeah, you enjoyed working with her, right?

00:15:22.000 Yeah, I really liked her.

00:15:23.000 Do you have like a friendship with her?

00:15:25.000 Do you contact her?

00:15:25.000 Not anymore.

00:15:26.000 But you know, she's very isolated.

00:15:29.000 Yeah.

00:15:29.000 She's a good person and You know, she was like, she used to ask me about the world like she wasn't really in it, because she wasn't really in it.

00:15:36.000 She'd go, what's it like?

00:15:37.000 You know, she asked me about people, and one night we went to, I talked her into going out in Montreal.

00:15:43.000 I said, look, why don't you drop the outfits?

00:15:46.000 Stop wearing a top hat and a cane.

00:15:50.000 And like, maybe nobody will notice you. 1.00

00:15:57.000 I can just picture her with the fucking tails, those coattails, flopping around, skipping back and forth, putting on a rinse. 1.00

00:16:07.000 And she, you know, so we go to an ice cream place and some like old guy, like a French guy, Hey, aren't you the famous one? 0.99

00:16:16.000 What's her name?

00:16:16.000 And that's all she had to hear.

00:16:18.000 She goes, yeah, who could ever forget all what's her name?

00:16:20.000 So then I validated that she can't go out, you know?

00:16:24.000 One guy?

00:16:25.000 That's it?

00:16:25.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:26.000 But we had a good time.

00:16:27.000 You know, we used to, it was a funny thing, in the casino, we would meet, like in the arenas, I would do my act, then they'd have a break, and then she'd come up.

00:16:37.000 So we'd never see each other, except she had like a team prayer, and sometimes I was in that.

00:16:42.000 But one night, we would cross each other.

00:16:46.000 One night, her grandmother and grandfather were there, and she said to me, she goes, you just did a jizz joke with my grandparents there? 0.99

00:16:54.000 And I said, and by the way, your ass is out, and your grandfather's looking at it. 0.99

00:16:59.000 And she started laughing. 0.99

00:17:02.000 Well, was that one video she did where she was on like a battleship?

00:17:06.000 Yeah, To Turn Back Time, I think it was.

00:17:08.000 If I could turn back time.

00:17:10.000 Joe, you got a little sharing.

00:17:12.000 If I could find a way.

00:17:14.000 I like some Cher songs.

00:17:16.000 Yeah, me too.

00:17:17.000 What was that song? 0.98

00:17:19.000 Gypsies, tramps, and thieves. 1.00

00:17:21.000 That's what the people of the town. 1.00

00:17:22.000 I didn't like Half Breed. 1.00

00:17:24.000 Which one's Half Breed? 1.00

00:17:25.000 Half Breed, but I loved the Bob Dylan song she covered. 0.81

00:17:29.000 Look at her. 1.00

00:17:29.000 She's on a goddamn missile. 1.00

00:17:30.000 All I really want to do is baby be friends with you. 1.00

00:17:33.000 She's riding a cannon. 1.00

00:17:34.000 Look at that.

00:17:34.000 Look at that hair.

00:17:35.000 Jesus.

00:17:36.000 Hey, Joe, we put the song on the net...

00:17:39.000 What is it called?

00:17:41.000 iTunes.

00:17:42.000 iTunes or YouTube?

00:17:43.000 Yeah, it's called Just to Disappoint You Further.

00:17:46.000 The one you played last time you were here?

00:17:48.000 Yeah.

00:17:48.000 Beautiful.

00:17:49.000 Were you doing any music back when you were opening for these people?

00:17:53.000 No, but I did one time come out.

00:17:56.000 We were at Madison Square Garden.

00:17:57.000 We weren't at the big room.

00:17:58.000 We were doing the smallest 7500s, the Pelt Forum, where it used to box.

00:18:03.000 And this is so funny about her.

00:18:06.000 The band wants me to go out and fake playing a guitar.

00:18:10.000 And she was singing this song, something about something fire, wheels of fire, some song.

00:18:16.000 And I get out there and I'm playing.

00:18:19.000 I'm not really playing.

00:18:20.000 The guy's behind the scrim, the real guitar player, is playing his ass off.

00:18:23.000 And I'm faking like I'm playing.

00:18:25.000 I'm singing with her on the song.

00:18:27.000 We get down on her knees and we're like looking at each other and singing and screaming.

00:18:32.000 And then I get off and she never said a word about it. 0.99

00:18:35.000 She never said, what the fuck are you doing? 0.99

00:18:37.000 That was great. 0.99

00:18:39.000 I mean, I worked with her for all those years.

00:18:41.000 You know, you'd think she would notice when I was on stage.

00:18:44.000 What was the song?

00:18:45.000 What were you singing?

00:18:46.000 I forget.

00:18:47.000 It was a good rock song.

00:18:50.000 It would be something like Gimme Shelter or something like Anup.

00:18:53.000 Oh, wow.

00:18:54.000 But now, how many different gigs did you do Whitney Houston? 0.70

00:18:57.000 Just a weekend.

00:18:58.000 It was a long weekend, and I think I opened for her three nights, and then it was like a long Memorial Day, July 4th, something like that.

00:19:07.000 And then I did my own headline.

00:19:10.000 It was the first time my headline was on the fourth night, and I did a whole bit about her, like making fun of her and singing and stuff.

00:19:18.000 And the crew was crying laughing.

00:19:22.000 That's hilarious.

00:19:23.000 And her father was such a good guy, and I felt like he said to me, you know, I really like you.

00:19:28.000 I said, oh, thanks.

00:19:29.000 He goes, I love you.

00:19:30.000 I'll work with my daughter again.

00:19:31.000 I said, thank you. 0.99

00:19:32.000 I'm thinking, no fucking way. 0.98

00:19:33.000 I'd rather be at Jimmy's Clam Bar in Bayonne before they shuck the clams. 0.99

00:19:40.000 Have them shuck it in the background, clack, clack, clack, clack.

00:19:43.000 But anyway, it was that bad, huh?

00:19:48.000 Yeah, you know, like I remember saying on stage, because, you know, she's always doing the prayer and Jesus does, you know, I don't know a lot about religious history, but I don't think Jesus had 300-pound bouncers pushing old people away, you know?

00:20:04.000 Did she push old people away?

00:20:05.000 Well, you know, I'm exaggerating. 1.00

00:20:07.000 The diva kind of shit, though. 1.00

00:20:07.000 Yeah, the divas thing. 1.00

00:20:08.000 That I couldn't stand for. 1.00

00:20:10.000 That diva shit is weird, right? 1.00

00:20:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:20:12.000 I remember that I read this article about Gene Simmons was dating Diana Ross. 1.00

00:20:16.000 Wow, that's weird.

00:20:17.000 Yeah, it was real weird.

00:20:18.000 It was way, way back in the day. 1.00

00:20:20.000 And he just couldn't take the diva shit, apparently. 1.00

00:20:23.000 Just couldn't take her being mean to those people. 1.00

00:20:25.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:20:26.000 Like, that was the argument that they had got.

00:20:27.000 But, you know, obviously this is, like, completely third-hand.

00:20:30.000 Oh, no.

00:20:31.000 Remember in the millennium when Barbra Streisand did the MGM Grand?

00:20:37.000 I don't know if you remember that.

00:20:38.000 No.

00:20:38.000 Well, the funniest part, you know how we were all so connected?

00:20:41.000 A friend of mine's brother was a waiter at the MGM and he would bring her room service and he wasn't allowed to look at her.

00:20:49.000 What?

00:20:49.000 So he had to back into the room with the cart and just walk away and not look at her.

00:20:57.000 Is that hilarious?

00:20:58.000 This is Barbra Streisand?

00:20:59.000 Yeah.

00:20:59.000 Yeah, I have a friend who was told the exact same thing.

00:21:02.000 He was a stagehand, and he was told, do not look at her.

00:21:06.000 Do not talk to her.

00:21:07.000 And he violated it.

00:21:10.000 He, you know, it said something to her, like, Ms. Streisand, your cue is going to be done.

00:21:14.000 And she goes, why is he talking to me?

00:21:16.000 Wow.

00:21:16.000 She pointed to him, she looked away and pointed to him.

00:21:19.000 And they act so sweet when they're talking about their charities and all this bullshit. 0.99

00:21:23.000 Sigh. 0.97

00:21:23.000 Yeah, it's weird. 0.97

00:21:24.000 It's weird.

00:21:26.000 The diva thing is a very weird thing. 0.99

00:21:28.000 That getting above everyone where you wanted to be treated like royalty.

00:21:32.000 There is a ballet dancer named Rudolf Nureyev.

00:21:35.000 You ever hear of him?

00:21:36.000 Yeah.

00:21:36.000 Okay, so I used to park cars at the River Cafe in Brooklyn.

00:21:39.000 Did you fuck him? 1.00

00:21:40.000 No. 1.00

00:21:41.000 No?

00:21:42.000 Seemed like one of those guys.

00:21:43.000 I got the second base.

00:21:44.000 I got the crack.

00:21:46.000 Just the crack.

00:21:46.000 Second base to a guy was different than a girl, right?

00:21:50.000 A lot of guys get second base on each other.

00:21:51.000 It's really no big deal.

00:21:52.000 Grab a tit. 0.84

00:21:53.000 I was hoping you'd go with it because I didn't know what I meant.

00:21:56.000 But he used to come in, and he was one of those guys with the cape and everything. 0.97

00:22:00.000 And he fucking hated me, because I called him Rudy. 0.98

00:22:04.000 He hated you? 0.99

00:22:05.000 Yeah, I'd go, hey Rudy, how's it hanging?

00:22:08.000 Because I would always ask him questions about jumping.

00:22:12.000 I said, could you dunk?

00:22:15.000 I said, you could probably touch the rim with your foot.

00:22:17.000 And he never thought I was funny at all. 0.99

00:22:19.000 I was such a wise ass. 0.94

00:22:20.000 He was super serious? 0.99

00:22:22.000 Oh yeah, super, like, talk about the male diva. 0.74

00:22:24.000 The ballet.

00:22:25.000 Yeah.

00:22:25.000 It's my life.

00:22:27.000 I dance, I prance, I spin, I soar through the air and I'm free!

00:22:34.000 I am free!

00:22:36.000 Yeah, I mean, I'm all for people taking themselves seriously in small doses when you're doing important stuff like brain surgery.

00:22:42.000 Yeah, you want that to be serious.

00:22:43.000 Listen, buddy, you're wearing tights.

00:22:45.000 You're wearing tights.

00:22:46.000 You're jumping.

00:22:47.000 I remember John at the cat's line, one thing you don't want to hear your surgeon say is, has anybody seen my lucky scalpel?

00:22:56.000 You know, we did a Dr. Katz in Austin, Texas.

00:22:59.000 It was a lot of fun.

00:23:00.000 How's he doing?

00:23:01.000 He's alright.

00:23:02.000 I saw him in a hotel completely randomly, and he was in a wheelchair.

00:23:07.000 Yeah.

00:23:08.000 He got up and did stand-up, though.

00:23:10.000 He stood up for that.

00:23:11.000 What is wrong with him?

00:23:12.000 What's going on?

00:23:12.000 MS. Ugh.

00:23:14.000 Yeah.

00:23:14.000 You know, Jonathan Katz was the open mic host the first time I ever went on stage.

00:23:18.000 At Knicks?

00:23:19.000 No, Stitches.

00:23:20.000 Oh, no kidding.

00:23:21.000 Yep.

00:23:22.000 Yeah, he was the host.

00:23:23.000 Very first time I ever went on stage.

00:23:24.000 Wow.

00:23:25.000 Yeah.

00:23:25.000 I didn't know that was your first time.

00:23:26.000 Such a nice guy.

00:23:28.000 Yeah.

00:23:28.000 That place used to creep me out because when you walked to the back, the wall was so thin.

00:23:33.000 I was always afraid it was just going to close up on me.

00:23:38.000 So you started with Paul Barkley and those guys.

00:23:40.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:23:41.000 Paul was doing stand-up.

00:23:42.000 They were The Connection.

00:23:43.000 They were The Connection.

00:23:44.000 Paul Barkley owned The Comedy Connection with Billy Downs.

00:23:47.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:23:47.000 And I was doing Nick's Comedy Stop, and I was doing that, I was doing The Connection, and I was doing Stitches.

00:23:54.000 But I started out, my first set ever was at Stitches.

00:23:57.000 That was on, I think it was on Comm Ave at the time.

00:24:00.000 There was two locations for Stitchers.

00:24:02.000 There was one that was right next door to the Paradise, which was a rock club.

00:24:08.000 I saw Jerry Seinfeld perform there once.

00:24:11.000 And then they moved to another location where it was just autonomous.

00:24:16.000 It was just by itself and they connected to it.

00:24:17.000 That was the first time I ever saw somebody get hit in the face with a bottle.

00:24:20.000 Oh my god, who was that?

00:24:22.000 Well, actually the only time I ever saw anybody get hit in the face with a bottle.

00:24:25.000 I wasn't involved.

00:24:26.000 I just happened to be there, and these two guys were arguing at a bar.

00:24:30.000 I mean, it didn't seem like they were arguing that much. 0.98

00:24:32.000 I mean, it didn't get like crazy or heated, and this guy just smashed this guy in the face with a Heineken bottle, and fucking blood was everywhere. 0.99

00:24:39.000 Oh, man. 0.99

00:24:40.000 It was crazy.

00:24:40.000 I just couldn't believe someone could just smash somebody in the face with a bottle so easily.

00:24:45.000 I'll never forget that, because it just made me realize, like, There's certain people out there that are already at nine.

00:24:53.000 Yeah.

00:24:54.000 You know, you might be at zero, you walk into a bar, you're like, hey, how's everybody doing?

00:24:58.000 What's up?

00:24:58.000 How are you?

00:24:59.000 Yeah, I'll have a, you know, martini, extra 30, that's how you like it. 0.97

00:25:03.000 And then, for whatever reason, your elbow touches some guy, he spills his drink a little bit, whatever the fuck it was, I don't know what happened. 0.94

00:25:10.000 I didn't see it. 0.97

00:25:10.000 I mean, I was a good distance away in a crowded bar, but I just happened to look over as these guys were exchanging words, and I saw that guy bottle that guy in the face, and I was like, what? 0.97

00:25:20.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:25:21.000 Well, look, the whole Bora mentality, the guys that will get in a fight because somebody bumps into them, you're going to get bumped into if you're in a crowd. 0.68

00:25:28.000 Yeah, well, if someone bumps in, you know, they say sorry, and that's the end of it, no matter what happens. 0.98

00:25:32.000 Even if you get fucking wet.

00:25:34.000 It's like, 99.9% of the time, nobody's meaning to do that. 0.99

00:25:39.000 But the ability to bottle somebody in the face like that, I mean, that guy was scarred for life.

00:25:45.000 There's no question about it.

00:25:46.000 Oh, sure.

00:25:47.000 For nothing.

00:25:47.000 Nothing.

00:25:48.000 I was never in a fight in a bar.

00:25:50.000 The only fights I've ever been in, they were all about sports.

00:25:53.000 They were all playing sports.

00:25:55.000 Oh, during a game.

00:25:55.000 Yeah.

00:25:56.000 I've seen that.

00:25:57.000 They used to have this thing in Boston, this comics baseball game, like a softball game.

00:26:03.000 Every Monday, I think it was. 0.96

00:26:05.000 And we'd all get together, and the fucking heated screaming matches I would watch these comics get into. 0.98

00:26:12.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:26:14.000 He was fucking out! 1.00

00:26:15.000 I was like, goddammit, you're playing softball. 1.00

00:26:18.000 This is a comedian softball game. 1.00

00:26:20.000 I remember Brian Frazier and this other guy, Matt, were just in each other's face, fucking screaming and spitting at each other. 0.99

00:26:27.000 It was just madness. 0.99

00:26:29.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.56

00:26:32.000 If one guy did something, they touched the other guy, they probably would have beaten each other's brains out.

00:26:38.000 Right there.

00:26:39.000 They probably would have fought to the death. 1.00

00:26:41.000 Over a fucking softball. 0.99

00:26:43.000 Over whether or not a guy's foot had touched the bag before or after the other guy had caught the ball. 1.00

00:26:50.000 What was the big dispute?

00:26:51.000 Joe, it could be Scrabble.

00:26:52.000 If your guys are feisty, they're feisty. 0.99

00:26:55.000 Well, that's what's dumb about it. 0.94

00:26:56.000 It's like, there's nothing on the line here. 0.95

00:26:57.000 There's nothing on the line.

00:26:59.000 This is not professional.

00:27:00.000 It's not even amateur.

00:27:01.000 It's not organized. 0.95

00:27:02.000 Nobody gives a shit if anybody wins or loses. 0.97

00:27:05.000 Yeah. 0.94

00:27:06.000 There's nothing that's worth it.

00:27:07.000 My little cousin, who, thank God, he went to rehab.

00:27:11.000 We're walking down the street.

00:27:12.000 I was doing helium in Philly.

00:27:14.000 Do you ever do that club?

00:27:15.000 Love that club.

00:27:15.000 Yeah.

00:27:16.000 I walk it down and these three kids are waiting for this homeless guy.

00:27:20.000 He's in a sleeping bag to fall asleep because some people had laid money on him.

00:27:24.000 So my cousin all of a sudden is going to be the hero, right? 0.99

00:27:28.000 And the guy said to me, he goes, listen, man, get your boy out of here or I'll fucking murder him. 0.99

00:27:35.000 I'm sure he was holding a piece or something. 0.99

00:27:39.000 Over what?

00:27:40.000 I don't understand.

00:27:41.000 They were waiting for the guy to fall asleep to take his money.

00:27:44.000 They were batting on it?

00:27:44.000 No, just waiting for him.

00:27:46.000 They were going to take the money that people had put on his chest.

00:27:49.000 He was a homeless guy. 1.00

00:27:51.000 And there were three just bad fucking dudes. 0.99

00:27:53.000 Three o'clock in the morning. 0.99

00:27:54.000 I said to my cousin, there's nothing you can win from this.

00:27:57.000 You want to protect him?

00:27:59.000 Call the cops.

00:28:00.000 Don't get yourself involved.

00:28:01.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:28:02.000 Stupid thing. 1.00

00:28:03.000 Getting me killed. 1.00

00:28:05.000 For nothing. 0.87

00:28:06.000 You can run into the wrong people.

00:28:07.000 I mean, that is the world of nightlife, of cities.

00:28:11.000 Yeah, and the people that are most dangerous are the ones that got nothing to lose.

00:28:16.000 Yeah, or they don't even realize they have something to lose.

00:28:19.000 They're not even thinking. 0.99

00:28:20.000 You know, there's a lot of people that are just not planning ahead, or they think life is some fucking movie. 0.99

00:28:24.000 They're going to pistol whip somebody, and that's going to be the end of it. 0.94

00:28:27.000 How many times you see in a movie a guy crack somebody over the back of a head with a piece, and the guy goes down and wakes up an hour later, oh, Oh, what happened?

00:28:34.000 And then he gets in a bunch of fights. 0.99

00:28:36.000 Well, me, movies, fighting is such bullshit, as you know. 0.99

00:28:40.000 First of all, hardly anybody gets knocked out. 0.99

00:28:43.000 Yeah.

00:28:43.000 Everybody gets knocked out in Westerns.

00:28:45.000 One punch.

00:28:46.000 A girl knocks them out.

00:28:48.000 You know what I mean?

00:28:49.000 And fights are so slow.

00:28:52.000 Real fights in real life are a couple of quick punches and people grab people.

00:28:56.000 You know what I mean?

00:28:57.000 Most fights are just a sucker punch.

00:28:59.000 I've seen some fights last a while, but not usually.

00:29:02.000 You know what I mean? 0.90

00:29:03.000 And a lot of times people are basically down deep their pussies, so they want to have a fight that's broken up immediately. 0.95

00:29:10.000 Yeah, what's always shocking to me is when I watch people fight and they don't know how to fight. 0.96

00:29:14.000 Like, you got in a fight and you don't even know what you're doing?

00:29:17.000 Like, I'm terrified to get into a fight, and I've been doing it my whole life.

00:29:21.000 Yeah, because you're smart enough to know how bad it is.

00:29:23.000 But I just can't imagine someone would just not have any skill at all. 1.00

00:29:28.000 Like, have no idea what to do, and somehow or another, you find yourself, fuck you, bitch, and you're throwing... 1.00

00:29:34.000 Crazy punches, you're out of gas almost immediately. 1.00

00:29:36.000 What have you risked your life on?

00:29:39.000 You've taken this crazy chance.

00:29:42.000 It's like you don't know what you're doing.

00:29:43.000 It's like getting on stage and playing guitar when you don't know how to play guitar.

00:29:46.000 You don't know what you're doing.

00:29:47.000 What are you doing? 1.00

00:29:48.000 You're fucking crazy. 1.00

00:29:50.000 Like that time when you get on stage, what if they had given you a real guitar and you had to play and sing with Cher? 1.00

00:29:57.000 I couldn't do anything.

00:29:59.000 I'd be playing chords from Norwegian Wood.

00:30:02.000 Do you play any musical instruments now?

00:30:03.000 No, I play a little bit of guitar, but I'm left-handed, unless I have one in the house.

00:30:09.000 But I'm not any good.

00:30:10.000 Oh, you have to have a different kind of guitar for the left hand.

00:30:13.000 Well, it's completely opposite.

00:30:14.000 It's stringed differently.

00:30:16.000 So do you have it strung upside down?

00:30:17.000 Yeah.

00:30:19.000 There are some I think they make like that.

00:30:21.000 McCartney is left-handed.

00:30:22.000 I used to watch him play bass.

00:30:25.000 When you see those guys that would have like two and three necks in their guitar, is that like a fad?

00:30:29.000 Is that out?

00:30:30.000 I don't know what that, to me it's like so cool.

00:30:33.000 Led Zeppelin, Jimmy Page used to have that.

00:30:35.000 Yeah.

00:30:36.000 But I don't even know what it does.

00:30:38.000 I guess they, you know what, probably they have different chords, the frets are different, so they have like different chords already set up so they can go back and forth.

00:30:46.000 I'm imagining that's what it is.

00:30:48.000 Yeah, I'm imagining, too.

00:30:50.000 I've been on a Hendrix kick the last few weeks. 0.95

00:30:52.000 Fucking great, ain't he? 0.87

00:30:54.000 I mean, I've always been a huge fan. 0.98

00:30:55.000 I mean, that's why I named the show The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:30:59.000 Oh, yeah?

00:30:59.000 That's the reason why.

00:31:00.000 Yeah, I mean, look, right behind me.

00:31:02.000 Hendrix.

00:31:03.000 I'm a huge Hendrix fan.

00:31:04.000 What was he arrested for?

00:31:05.000 Heroin.

00:31:07.000 Toronto.

00:31:08.000 Hollow.

00:31:09.000 He was trying to take it into the country?

00:31:10.000 Yeah.

00:31:11.000 Whoops.

00:31:11.000 That's a good move.

00:31:13.000 Somebody should tell him.

00:31:14.000 He was left-handed as well.

00:31:16.000 Someone should tell him.

00:31:17.000 There's heroin in Toronto.

00:31:18.000 Who else was left-handed?

00:31:20.000 Kurt Cobain.

00:31:21.000 Kurt Cobain was left-handed?

00:31:23.000 You know, there's a high instance of left-handed genius.

00:31:26.000 A lot of left-hands...

00:31:27.000 Look at you, you left-handed genius.

00:31:30.000 Left-handed people, oftentimes...

00:31:32.000 You know, one thing that left-handed people apparently excel at is fighting.

00:31:37.000 There was a study done on left-handed people.

00:31:41.000 They were trying to correlate left-handed people with violence.

00:31:43.000 They were trying to say that left-handed people perhaps are more violent or better at violence.

00:31:50.000 They couldn't make that correlation.

00:31:51.000 This is from a Radiolab podcast.

00:31:52.000 But what they did figure out is that left-handed people are better at fighting.

00:31:57.000 Because and one of the reasons is they're doing everything the opposite way so it confuses everybody my father was a boxer and he taught me to start right-handed If you know if I was ever sparring it like summer camp mm-hmm, and then switch left-handed instead of confused the fuck out Yeah,

00:32:15.000 left hand is weird, because the jab's coming from the wrong side.

00:32:18.000 You're expecting a jab from over here, and it's coming from over here.

00:32:21.000 And then the left hand is the big weapon, instead of the right hand. 0.94

00:32:23.000 It fucks you up, unless you're used to it.

00:32:26.000 But you gotta get used to it. 0.90

00:32:27.000 Like, some guys, they would always have their toughest fights against southpaws. 0.66

00:32:30.000 Like, they would do great against orthodox fighters, but they could never get their rhythm against southpaws.

00:32:34.000 Did you watch the fight?

00:32:35.000 Yeah.

00:32:36.000 Yeah.

00:32:37.000 I'm one of the few people that liked it.

00:32:39.000 See, I didn't like it.

00:32:40.000 I loved it.

00:32:40.000 I enjoyed every minute of it.

00:32:42.000 I thought it was a fascinating fight.

00:32:44.000 You know why?

00:32:44.000 Because you know so much more about martial arts and boxing and stuff.

00:32:48.000 To me, I wanted to see a fight, not a boxing match.

00:32:51.000 You know?

00:32:52.000 Like, I wanted to see anger.

00:32:53.000 There was no anger.

00:32:54.000 Nothing...

00:32:55.000 Did you see Canelo Alvarez, James Kirkland, the next week?

00:32:58.000 The one in the knockout?

00:32:59.000 Yeah.

00:32:59.000 I saw the knockout.

00:33:00.000 Whoa, I was fucking... 1.00

00:33:01.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 0.99

00:33:02.000 You see that look on his face when he was out on his feet? 1.00

00:33:04.000 Oh, yeah.

00:33:05.000 Going down? 1.00

00:33:06.000 Canelo Alvarez is a fucking beast. 1.00

00:33:08.000 He's a bad motherfucker. 1.00

00:33:09.000 But his style is the style that... 1.00

00:33:11.000 That's the Mexican kid, right? 1.00

00:33:12.000 Yeah, the red-headed. 0.91

00:33:13.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:14.000 The red-headed, handsome fella.

00:33:16.000 His style is the kind of style that everybody really wants to see today.

00:33:19.000 Like Gennady Golovkin, like this seek and destroy, destructure something.

00:33:24.000 Yeah.

00:33:24.000 Floyd Mayweather is not that guy.

00:33:25.000 Floyd Mayweather is a wizard.

00:33:28.000 I mean, he really is a magician in there.

00:33:29.000 Well, he's smart.

00:33:30.000 He's not getting hit, and he's defensive, and he's counter-punching, but because of the stuff that you're involved in, I got more used to action.

00:33:40.000 I mean, I know they get locked up sometime on the floor for too long, but it's still pretty funny when even they're locked up and the guy's just pounding the other guy's temple.

00:33:48.000 Well, there's more variables in MMA, and that's what makes it more exciting. 0.96

00:33:53.000 Because you never know what the fuck's gonna happen. 0.97

00:33:54.000 You never know if a guy's gonna kick you or take you down or try to submit you or punch you. 0.98

00:33:58.000 There's just so many different things going on and there's so many different things you have to think about and prepare for and so many different angles that a person could take when things aren't going their way, you know?

00:34:08.000 And that just doesn't exist in boxing.

00:34:10.000 When you're a guy like Manny Pacquiao and you're fighting a guy like Floyd and Floyd's got you figured out after the first round, Good luck.

00:34:16.000 You know, your only luck, the best case scenario is you land a really good left hand, and then you follow up with a combination.

00:34:22.000 And he tried to do that a few times, but Floyd just went into that defensive shell and just shook his head at him.

00:34:27.000 Nope.

00:34:28.000 Didn't do it.

00:34:28.000 Nope.

00:34:29.000 You didn't hurt me.

00:34:29.000 You know?

00:34:30.000 He's just the best ever. 0.99

00:34:31.000 You know, a lot of people give me shit about saying that. 0.95

00:34:33.000 Like, I had an argument with Max Kellerman about it, and he was like, Sugar Ray Robinson's the best ever. 0.99

00:34:39.000 How could he be the best ever?

00:34:40.000 Sugar Ray Robinson lost to Jake LaMotta.

00:34:42.000 You tell me that Floyd Mayweather would lose to Jake LaMotta? 1.00

00:34:44.000 I'm telling you, you're out of your fucking mind. 1.00

00:34:46.000 Floyd Mayweather would box circles around Jake LaMotta. 1.00

00:34:49.000 If they were the same size, Jake LaMotta, as great and tough as he was, would never fucking come close. 0.92

00:34:54.000 You look at what Floyd Mayweather has been able to do to murderous punchers, like Canelo Alvarez. 0.96

00:35:00.000 You know, these guys that just smash everybody else.

00:35:02.000 They can't even touch him.

00:35:03.000 You barely can get close to him.

00:35:05.000 He's a wizard.

00:35:06.000 He is a wizard.

00:35:07.000 I take my hat off to him.

00:35:08.000 You know, Angela Dundee?

00:35:11.000 Sure.

00:35:11.000 He used to come and see me in West Palm all the time, and he knew that I had some history of boxing in my family, and he brought me this great picture of all the Philly fighters.

00:35:21.000 And I was out there at the dinner with him one night, and I started picking his brain a little. 0.99

00:35:25.000 I said, who's the baddest motherfucker of all of them? 0.99

00:35:27.000 He said, who do you think of all the guys that you saw or could beat anybody? 0.99

00:35:31.000 He goes, Sonny Liston, hands down.

00:35:35.000 Wow.

00:35:35.000 He said everybody was afraid of him.

00:35:37.000 He said he had a lot of problems.

00:35:39.000 I don't know what mob ties he had, but apparently heroin.

00:35:43.000 That second Ali fight was definitely thrown.

00:35:46.000 Yeah, you know you could say it's such a joke the way he's faking well He got punched like they call it a phantom punch is not a phantom punch He definitely got punched But he was waiting for the first punch to land so that he could just lay down like you pull that up Jimmy we go watch this it's a Muhammad Ali versus Sonny Liston 2 in Lewiston,

00:36:06.000 Maine.

00:36:06.000 You know I thought it was gonna be Foreman Because of his size and his strength, but he you know he said Liston was the toughest Yeah, well, you know what?

00:36:15.000 Foreman, before Ali beat him, was a different animal.

00:36:17.000 Post-Ali, he was never the same guy, because that air of invincibility was gone. 0.75

00:36:22.000 And then he had that crazy fight, I believe it was with Ron Lyle. 0.72

00:36:25.000 They just fucking blasted each other in the head and knocked each other down like four or five times.

00:36:29.000 Do you remember the punch that he hit George Foreman with in Jamaica? 0.99

00:36:33.000 Picked him up!

00:36:33.000 Not George Foreman, Joe Frazier.

00:36:34.000 Joe Frazier, yeah.

00:36:35.000 He picked him up on a stomach punch.

00:36:38.000 I don't remember what he hit him with, but I remember his legs literally came up off the ground.

00:36:42.000 I never saw that before.

00:36:44.000 Yeah.

00:36:44.000 Incredible.

00:36:45.000 He was a monster. 1.00

00:36:46.000 He was such a fucking murderous puncher. 1.00

00:36:48.000 I was at the Spinks Tyson fight. 1.00

00:36:52.000 Michael Spinks.

00:36:53.000 Yeah, we talked about this a couple times on podcasts.

00:36:55.000 It was scary.

00:36:56.000 We used to up-jump the devil.

00:36:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:36:58.000 Yeah, that's really...

00:36:59.000 You know what?

00:36:59.000 I think we talked about it at the lab factory.

00:37:01.000 I think we talked about it more than once because you were there for one of the most stunning moments in boxing history.

00:37:08.000 Yeah, it was cool.

00:37:08.000 A lot of people thought Michael Sphinx was going to give him a hard time because Sphinx had gone 12 rounds with Larry Holmes and beat Larry Holmes by decision and he was the light heavyweight champion.

00:37:18.000 He was a good boxer.

00:37:20.000 He just had no business.

00:37:21.000 He was so small, too.

00:37:23.000 He was barely 199, you know, and he's fighting Mike Tyson.

00:37:27.000 Tyson wasn't much bigger, you know, in comparison to today's fighters.

00:37:30.000 He was probably like 220. He was built better, though.

00:37:32.000 He was compact.

00:37:34.000 1965, Lewiston, Maine.

00:37:36.000 Watch this.

00:37:37.000 Ali still looking slick, man.

00:37:41.000 Still, to this day, no heavyweight that moves like him, man.

00:37:44.000 No. 0.98

00:37:44.000 Look how fucking good he moved. 0.98

00:37:47.000 So light on his feet for a guy who's 220 pounds or whatever the hell he was. 0.99

00:37:51.000 Side to side, all that head movement.

00:37:53.000 I mean, you can't, look at that.

00:37:55.000 You can't even touch him.

00:37:56.000 Liston would lunge forward with that jab.

00:37:59.000 Good luck.

00:38:00.000 Now here he gets him with the punch, like right as he tries to, Liston tries to crowd him.

00:38:04.000 And it happens with Ollie's face to the camera, so Liston's back to the camera.

00:38:10.000 And he just comes with an overhand right.

00:38:12.000 And as soon as he catches Liston on the jaw, Liston goes down like he got shot.

00:38:17.000 I think it's right here.

00:38:19.000 Right here.

00:38:23.000 Whenever it is, it's when Liston's backs to you.

00:38:28.000 But look how beautiful Ali moves, man.

00:38:31.000 Yeah, it's amazing.

00:38:32.000 I mean, he really did float.

00:38:33.000 And this is the real Ali. 0.69

00:38:34.000 This is the Ali of 1965. Before the army and all that.

00:38:40.000 Yeah, man. 1.00

00:38:40.000 The army fucked him. 1.00

00:38:42.000 That whole thing fucked him. 0.99

00:38:43.000 Because for three years, from 1967 to 1970, he was completely out of commission. 0.97

00:38:49.000 At his total prime.

00:38:50.000 Yeah.

00:38:51.000 Like, watch.

00:38:51.000 We'll show the difference here.

00:38:53.000 Like, when he finally catches, like, Liston, even though Liston's moving towards him, he doesn't even look like he's trying to hit him.

00:39:01.000 I wonder if they gave him a time where he had to get knocked out, too.

00:39:06.000 I mean, it must be probably the first round.

00:39:08.000 Probably because of all the gambling on it.

00:39:09.000 Oh, yeah.

00:39:10.000 I mean, that was everything.

00:39:13.000 Here it is.

00:39:15.000 Boom.

00:39:15.000 Right there.

00:39:18.000 I mean, that. 0.99

00:39:18.000 There's no fucking way. 0.99

00:39:20.000 There's just no fucking way. 1.00

00:39:21.000 What a bunch of bullshit. 1.00

00:39:23.000 And look, the way he's going down. 1.00

00:39:25.000 The way he gets up.

00:39:27.000 Oh, look, he faked.

00:39:28.000 You can see him thinking, I should probably fall down here.

00:39:34.000 And he gets up, finally.

00:39:35.000 And Jersey Joe Walcott is a referee, too, I believe.

00:39:38.000 Yeah, that's Joe Walcott.

00:39:42.000 And something happened there, and now Ali's just tuning him up.

00:39:47.000 No, they stopped the fight.

00:39:48.000 That's it?

00:39:49.000 So I guess he had reached a 10 count.

00:39:51.000 I forgot that he got up after that.

00:39:53.000 Yeah.

00:39:53.000 Here's the knockout in slow motion.

00:39:56.000 What?

00:39:56.000 I mean, he does hit him.

00:39:58.000 Everybody calls it the phantom punch, but watch this punch.

00:40:00.000 He definitely does hit him.

00:40:02.000 As Liston moves forward, he does boom.

00:40:04.000 See?

00:40:05.000 Yeah.

00:40:05.000 Clean hit.

00:40:06.000 No doubt about it.

00:40:09.000 He definitely tagged him, but it wasn't the kind of punch that would put a guy like Liston out.

00:40:16.000 It would probably stun him, but I didn't believe that that was a real one-punch knockout.

00:40:22.000 Now, watch that.

00:40:25.000 And now watch.

00:40:26.000 He came back against the white dude, Jerry Quarry.

00:40:32.000 That was his comeback fight, Muhammad Ali versus Jerry Quarry.

00:40:36.000 And when he fought Jerry Quarry, this was after he had taken all that time off, and his body just looked different, man.

00:40:45.000 He just, like, Jerry Quarry was, like, a really tough guy who, by the way, before he died, couldn't even figure out how to walk.

00:40:52.000 Like, he couldn't figure out where he was, didn't know where his underwear was.

00:40:55.000 Yeah, he was gone.

00:40:56.000 He didn't know, couldn't, if he walked out his front door, he'd never make it back inside.

00:41:00.000 He was just gone.

00:41:02.000 You know, Ali's talking to him here.

00:41:03.000 But if you look at Ali's body, like, as Ali goes back, the thing about Ali was that if he wasn't training for a fight, he wasn't working out. 0.92

00:41:11.000 So he didn't spend those three years lifting weights and running hills and fucking hitting the heavy bag. 0.80

00:41:16.000 He wasn't doing anything. 0.96

00:41:18.000 I mean, he's probably just fighting to keep from getting locked up in jail.

00:41:23.000 You know?

00:41:24.000 But if you look at his body, like, look at it.

00:41:25.000 He's all smooth and there's no muscles.

00:41:28.000 Yeah.

00:41:28.000 Like, look at him.

00:41:29.000 He looks like shit. 1.00

00:41:31.000 I mean, he doesn't look anything like he used to look. 1.00

00:41:34.000 I mean, he's bouncing around a little bit in the beginning, but he's just not the same guy.

00:41:40.000 He still had some pretty big fights at the end.

00:41:42.000 Yeah, he did, but he was never the same guy.

00:41:44.000 I'll never forget Larry Holmes trying to get the refs to stop the fight because he didn't want to beat him up anymore.

00:41:49.000 That was awful.

00:41:50.000 It was his idol.

00:41:51.000 That was awful because that was after Ali had no money left and he was really suffering from Parkinson's already.

00:41:58.000 Was he really?

00:41:59.000 Yeah, he was already kicked in.

00:42:01.000 He was already in really bad shape.

00:42:04.000 Well, you know, as a friend of mine, we used to work as doormen together at Doc Watson's in Philly.

00:42:09.000 It was Randall Cobb.

00:42:10.000 Tex Cobb!

00:42:11.000 And we saw him take a beating from Holmes.

00:42:14.000 Yeah.

00:42:14.000 We were just going, go down, Randall, go down.

00:42:17.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:42:18.000 It was fucking horrible. 0.99

00:42:18.000 That was the fight that made Howard Cosell retire from boxing. 0.99

00:42:22.000 Yeah, I remember that.

00:42:23.000 I'm done.

00:42:24.000 No more.

00:42:25.000 Look at that little monkey run.

00:42:27.000 Ha ha ha.

00:42:29.000 Howard Cosell, who called some of the greatest fights of all time.

00:42:33.000 Yeah.

00:42:33.000 But if you look at Ali here, he still looks good, but it's just not the same Ali.

00:42:37.000 No.

00:42:38.000 Just not the same guy.

00:42:40.000 His body doesn't look the same.

00:42:42.000 He's smooth.

00:42:43.000 Granted, he's had three years off, but he's just...

00:42:46.000 I mean, the old Ali, go now to Ali versus Cleveland Big Cat Williams.

00:42:52.000 And I've always said, if you want to look at, like, Ali in his prime, when Ali was in his prime is when he was fighting this guy, Cleveland Williams. 0.97

00:42:59.000 And Cleveland Williams is this big, fucking scary, murderous puncher. 0.99

00:43:03.000 And Muhammad Ali boxed this guy's fucking face off. 0.99

00:43:08.000 Who was the one that he, when he was doing, what's my name, what's my name? 1.00

00:43:12.000 Oh, um, shit. 0.98

00:43:14.000 Remember that? 1.00

00:43:15.000 Yeah.

00:43:15.000 Because the guy wouldn't call him Cassius Clay.

00:43:17.000 He kept calling him Cassius Clay, yeah.

00:43:18.000 What's my name?

00:43:19.000 What's my name?

00:43:20.000 I forget who that was. 0.99

00:43:22.000 Goddamn, I'd have to look at his record. 0.98

00:43:25.000 But Cleveland Williams is like, look how muscular Williams is. 1.00

00:43:27.000 Williams is a fucking animal. 1.00

00:43:29.000 Murderous puncher. 1.00

00:43:30.000 And he just could not catch Ali.

00:43:32.000 This is Ali in his prime.

00:43:34.000 This is Ali, like, in 67. He was sleek.

00:43:37.000 Look how fast he is.

00:43:38.000 He goes... 0.98

00:43:39.000 But the movement, the side to side, it was like, there was no fucking heavyweights that ever moved like that. 0.98

00:43:44.000 No one. 0.93

00:43:45.000 I mean, he literally moved faster and lighter on his feet than most welterweights.

00:43:50.000 And he was fighting at 200 plus pounds.

00:43:53.000 I mean, I don't know what he weighed in his prime.

00:43:54.000 He was probably about 220 or something like that.

00:43:57.000 You ever see that picture of him and the Beatles?

00:44:00.000 Which one?

00:44:01.000 Classic picture.

00:44:01.000 Just him and the Beatles in Miami.

00:44:03.000 Just a funny thing.

00:44:06.000 I'm trying to find out who that guy was that did that.

00:44:10.000 What's my name?

00:44:12.000 Early career.

00:44:13.000 He's got a bit of a process, Cleveland.

00:44:15.000 Oh, the hair?

00:44:16.000 Yeah, they all used to like that.

00:44:18.000 Sugar Ray Robinson had that, too.

00:44:19.000 The conk, they would call it.

00:44:22.000 Well, you know who also is great?

00:44:23.000 Sugar Ray Leonard.

00:44:25.000 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:44:27.000 Why'd you shut it off, Jamie? 1.00

00:44:29.000 Keep that shit on, son. 1.00

00:44:30.000 I'm trying to find this guy's name. 1.00

00:44:32.000 Jamie, how you doing?

00:44:34.000 Jamie's good over there. 1.00

00:44:35.000 Look at him, sexy bitch. 1.00

00:44:36.000 You sexy motherfucker. 1.00

00:44:38.000 Jimmy Ellis. 1.00

00:44:39.000 Jimmy Ellis?

00:44:40.000 That's who it was.

00:44:41.000 Yeah.

00:44:41.000 Wow.

00:44:42.000 Pretty sure.

00:44:43.000 Pretty sure it was Jimmy Ellis.

00:44:44.000 I thought Jimmy Ellis was a sparring player, too.

00:44:47.000 He probably was.

00:44:47.000 That's probably what happened.

00:44:49.000 Wouldn't knock him out, because he was so mad at him. 1.00

00:44:51.000 Just beat his ass. 1.00

00:44:53.000 Almost positive was Ellis. 1.00

00:44:54.000 I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

00:44:58.000 But if you watch this fight, this, in my opinion, was like the quintessential Ali.

00:45:03.000 And this was, I believe, the last fight before he went away.

00:45:09.000 They just had never seen anybody like this guy before.

00:45:11.000 What did he do in those three years?

00:45:13.000 He wasn't in prison.

00:45:14.000 No, I think, well, actually, I think he fought two more times, and then he went, yeah, he fought Ernie Terrell and then Zara Foley. 0.96

00:45:23.000 He went to, you know, he had to fucking go to court. 0.93

00:45:27.000 Look at this. 1.00

00:45:27.000 God damn, he was fast. 1.00

00:45:29.000 Look at this. 1.00

00:45:30.000 The legs, pap, pap, pap, pap, pap.

00:45:34.000 And then out of there.

00:45:35.000 I mean, he was barely getting hit back then, man. 0.98

00:45:38.000 He was so fucking quick. 0.69

00:45:40.000 And then you see his later fights, like when he fought Joe Frazier, like Rumble in the Jungle. 0.98

00:45:45.000 It was so much slower of foot.

00:45:48.000 Probably had knee problems by then.

00:45:50.000 He took a beating from Frazier.

00:45:52.000 They took a beating from each other.

00:45:54.000 Oh, those were horrendous fights.

00:45:56.000 Those were horrendous fights.

00:45:57.000 His daughter told me, and Maymay's a friend of mine, his daughter.

00:46:00.000 You remember me?

00:46:01.000 Sure.

00:46:02.000 She was always at the store.

00:46:02.000 She's a comic, right?

00:46:03.000 Yeah.

00:46:04.000 I remember the first time I brought her up, and I said, you know, about, oh, no, she brought me up, and I said, Maymay Ali, I said, I was thinking in the back, I wonder if I could beat Ali's daughter in a fight.

00:46:16.000 Ha! 0.89

00:46:17.000 Probably not.

00:46:19.000 Yeah.

00:46:20.000 Well, definitely not the other one, Layla.

00:46:23.000 Layla's beautiful, man.

00:46:24.000 Scary, too. 0.99

00:46:24.000 She'll beat the shit out of you. 0.99

00:46:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:27.000 Beautiful, and she'll beat your ass. 1.00

00:46:29.000 Well, Maymay's an example of how a woman can be pretty and look like her father. 1.00

00:46:33.000 Yeah.

00:46:33.000 Right, right, right.

00:46:34.000 You know, he's got a son, too, that comes around the comedy store, or used to come around the comedy store back in the day.

00:46:39.000 Oh, I don't remember that.

00:46:40.000 Yeah, and Maymay introduced me to him one day, and I was like, whoa, this dude looks exactly like Muhammad Ali.

00:46:45.000 It was crazy.

00:46:46.000 Mm-hmm.

00:46:47.000 And, you know, at the time he was fairly young, the kid.

00:46:50.000 You know, this was like, I want to say 10 years ago, maybe.

00:46:54.000 But Cleveland Williams was like this, like, perfect style fighter to show, like, Muhammad Ali in his best.

00:47:02.000 Like, he just wasn't there, man.

00:47:04.000 He just wasn't there.

00:47:05.000 Well, he's not nearly as quick.

00:47:06.000 Oh, man.

00:47:07.000 Like, look at this.

00:47:08.000 Look at that.

00:47:09.000 That's insane.

00:47:10.000 He was so slick.

00:47:13.000 And he just redefined what it meant to be a professional boxer.

00:47:17.000 He introduced a whole new way of doing it.

00:47:19.000 And now, like, there's a lot of MMA fighters that use this style now.

00:47:24.000 I mean, it's different because they throw kicks and because takedowns are incorporated into it, but a lot of what they call, they call neo-footwork movements.

00:47:32.000 Like, Dominic Cruz is probably the best at it.

00:47:34.000 He's the, uh, Former bantamweight champion and T.J. Dillashaw, who's the current bantamweight champion, both guys are great examples of people that use this kind of misdirection and footwork, like constantly left to right, right to left.

00:47:48.000 But those guys also incorporate switching stances, like they'll fight southpaw and then orthodox and orthodox southpaw, they go back and forth. 0.96

00:47:56.000 Look at this, Ali's just right in front of this dude, and he can't do shit to him. 0.76

00:48:01.000 Go to the knockout where you see, I don't know where it is on this video. 0.97

00:48:05.000 It can't be much further than this.

00:48:07.000 When's your next fight, Joe?

00:48:09.000 The next UFC is next weekend.

00:48:11.000 It's a big one, too.

00:48:13.000 It's Chris Weidman versus Vitor Belfort in Vegas.

00:48:16.000 Look at this.

00:48:16.000 Ding, ding!

00:48:17.000 Ooh, sun!

00:48:19.000 He stands over him with his hands up.

00:48:21.000 Oh yeah, that's real.

00:48:24.000 You can see the way he's breathing.

00:48:26.000 Very different than the way Sonny Liston went down.

00:48:29.000 See that again.

00:48:29.000 Back it up again.

00:48:30.000 I believe he got knocked down twice.

00:48:33.000 I might be wrong.

00:48:35.000 Yeah, he got knocked down twice.

00:48:38.000 So look, this is...

00:48:39.000 Yeah, back it up a little bit.

00:48:41.000 You can see the flurry.

00:48:44.000 No, it was three times.

00:48:46.000 He got knocked down three times.

00:48:46.000 Jeez.

00:48:48.000 Yeah, and then eventually put away.

00:48:50.000 But he just, you know, kept trying to chase him, chase him, chase him.

00:48:53.000 He knocked him down, walking away. 0.99

00:48:56.000 God damn, that was beautiful. 1.00

00:48:58.000 The way he did that. 0.99

00:49:00.000 I've watched this fight, I don't know how many times.

00:49:03.000 This is one of my favorite all-time performances of any boxer.

00:49:07.000 To me, there's certain Mike Tyson fights that are just the quintessential Mike Tyson fight.

00:49:14.000 Like Mike Tyson, the one when he won the title.

00:49:18.000 You know, like that was like a quintessential Mike Tyson fight.

00:49:21.000 Who'd he be? 1.00

00:49:22.000 Fuck is his name? 1.00

00:49:23.000 Fucking shit. 1.00

00:49:26.000 I don't remember his first fight. 1.00

00:49:28.000 I just remember him being the most terrorizing boxer I've ever seen.

00:49:31.000 I can't believe I can't remember this.

00:49:34.000 You know, Joe, when he was at his prime, he used to hit through the defense.

00:49:39.000 Oh, yeah. 0.92

00:49:40.000 Well, he was just so goddamn fast for a heavyweight. 0.90

00:49:44.000 There was nobody like him. 0.77

00:49:45.000 There had been no heavyweights that were anything...

00:49:47.000 Trevor Burbick.

00:49:48.000 There was no heavyweights that were even remotely like that guy.

00:49:51.000 Trevor Burbick was like a big lumbering guy, too.

00:49:53.000 He just couldn't...

00:49:55.000 He had nothing...

00:49:56.000 For Tyson. 0.98

00:49:57.000 You know, Tyson at that time was just so fucking destructive. 0.96

00:50:01.000 He was so good. 0.96

00:50:02.000 But that like, okay, Marvis Frazier, that's like the quintessential Tyson fight.

00:50:05.000 When I think of Mike Tyson and his destructive, just on point, motivated, in shape, just a destroyer.

00:50:15.000 You've seen the Marvis Frazier fight?

00:50:16.000 Oh yeah.

00:50:17.000 That's the quintessential Mike Tyson fight.

00:50:19.000 I felt bad for him, actually.

00:50:20.000 Me too.

00:50:21.000 He shouldn't have been in there.

00:50:22.000 He had no business. 0.99

00:50:24.000 You know, his dad was just this bad motherfucker, and his dad wanted to think that his son was gonna be the guy that beat Mike Tyson. 0.99

00:50:31.000 But, you know, you gotta realize, man, that these guys, like... 0.99

00:50:35.000 Everybody that comes after you will have learned from everything you do, and your momentum will take them to another level.

00:50:41.000 And that's going to happen with everyone.

00:50:42.000 I mean, there's lulls in sports, fighting especially.

00:50:46.000 Fighting especially has lulls.

00:50:48.000 I think basketball and football, they all have lulls, too.

00:50:50.000 Whether you have your superstars, and then there's areas maybe where there's no one that's consummate, or no one is...

00:50:59.000 Like the level of a Jordan or a Kobe Bryant or a LeBron James.

00:51:04.000 There's only a few guys that ever hit that super, super athlete level.

00:51:09.000 They rose above the sport.

00:51:10.000 This is the first time in my life I couldn't name five boxers.

00:51:13.000 Really?

00:51:14.000 Yeah.

00:51:14.000 Right now?

00:51:16.000 I could easily.

00:51:17.000 But it's a weird time for boxing, for sure.

00:51:20.000 I remember when all those welterweights and when Duran and Carlos Palomino and all those guys were fighting.

00:51:26.000 There was a bunch of guys.

00:51:27.000 Well, you know what?

00:51:28.000 Those were on ABC Wild World of Sports.

00:51:30.000 I don't know the heavyweight champ.

00:51:32.000 Vladimir Klitschko.

00:51:34.000 And Deontay Wilder, I think he has one of the titles.

00:51:37.000 But the thing about Vladimir Klitschko is he's just a big Russian guy.

00:51:41.000 And, you know, you would think like a white guy that's the heavyweight champion.

00:51:44.000 This would be a crazy time.

00:51:46.000 Like everybody would be excited to see him.

00:51:48.000 He's the most boring of all heavyweight champions possibly ever.

00:51:53.000 He's just very smart.

00:51:54.000 I mean, not boring to me.

00:51:57.000 Because I think he's got a very intelligent style.

00:51:59.000 I mean, if you're six foot six, the way he fights is the perfect way to fight.

00:52:02.000 He jabs you, jabs you, drops a right hand and clinches.

00:52:05.000 Jab, jab, clinch. 1.00

00:52:06.000 Jab, jab, right hand, clinch. 0.99

00:52:08.000 Well, that clinching with Mayweather the other night, I was actually looking at the time on the Moran left.

00:52:14.000 I was so bored. 0.99

00:52:15.000 I was like, oh, minute 54, I don't feel like watching this shit. 0.99

00:52:18.000 I was watching it with my wife and she was yelling out like, God, this is so boring. 0.99

00:52:23.000 She actually said this.

00:52:24.000 She goes, you should have to get knocked down in order to win. 1.00

00:52:27.000 I go, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. 0.99

00:52:30.000 She goes, well, then it'll be exciting. 0.97

00:52:31.000 Like, to someone who doesn't watch boxing, I could see that that would be really boring.

00:52:35.000 Alyssa Carey said something to me that I thought was interesting.

00:52:38.000 She said, why don't they penalize a guy for holding too much, for clinching?

00:52:42.000 Defending yourself.

00:52:43.000 You're smart.

00:52:44.000 Yeah, but I mean, if they took points off for that, then there wouldn't be as much clinching.

00:52:48.000 Well, they took points off of Klitschko in his last fight, and it actually got kind of interesting.

00:52:52.000 Yeah.

00:52:52.000 Because Klitschko is, you know, he's famous for that.

00:52:55.000 He's famous for holding on to guys, and he's a big fucking dude. 0.99

00:52:59.000 He's huge. 0.99

00:53:00.000 You know, he's six foot six. 0.77

00:53:01.000 So he'll pop you and then grab ahold of you and wrestle you and put a lot of weight on your neck.

00:53:06.000 You know, like they lean on you and make you carry their weight.

00:53:09.000 Like, that's a famous way that guys will kind of...

00:53:24.000 No.

00:53:32.000 Like if you had a LeBron James, like LeBron James became a boxer when he was young instead of became a basketball player and was just as dedicated to boxing as he is to being a basketball player, there's still some crucial elements.

00:53:46.000 You can be a great athlete in other sports, but you wouldn't be a great fighter.

00:53:50.000 I mean, you might be able to be a great baseball player or be a great basketball player, but when it gets down to fighting, There's some intangibles involved in fighting that don't exist in any other sport.

00:53:59.000 You've got to be willing to go out there and risk your health, and no one is there to help you.

00:54:06.000 There's no one there to help you.

00:54:07.000 You can't pass the ball.

00:54:09.000 There's no timeouts.

00:54:11.000 You will go into the fire. 1.00

00:54:13.000 And you have to be able to you got to be able to hold yourself together under Just a barrage of fucking punches and the most dangerous guy in the world Who's your opponent who's trained for eight weeks for this moment just to kick your ass I mean he's been not drinking not partying sleeping all the time just so he can have more energy to fuck you up. 0.99

00:54:36.000 Yeah Well, now the best athletes don't go into boxing. 0.99

00:54:39.000 No.

00:54:39.000 Or baseball.

00:54:40.000 They go into football and basketball, I think.

00:54:42.000 Well, even MMA. You know, we have a hard time finding the best athletes in MMA. There's a few of them now that are just starting to leak into MMA, like guys who are like Olympic caliber wrestlers, who are tremendous athletes.

00:54:54.000 I thought that guy Silva was really good.

00:54:56.000 Anderson?

00:54:57.000 Yeah.

00:54:57.000 Yeah, Anderson is a very good fighter.

00:55:00.000 I mean, he's the greatest of all time.

00:55:01.000 No doubt about it.

00:55:02.000 And he's a very good athlete.

00:55:04.000 But, you know, like a Jordan. 0.79

00:55:07.000 You know, Anderson Silver was not Michael Jordan.

00:55:09.000 You know what I mean?

00:55:10.000 I mean, he was a fantastic fighter.

00:55:12.000 Is he still fighting?

00:55:13.000 No.

00:55:13.000 Well, yes, but he's suspended for quite a while because he tested positive for steroids after he broke his leg.

00:55:19.000 He broke his leg, then fought again, and won, but tested positive for steroids.

00:55:25.000 But the difference, I think, is...

00:55:28.000 I mean, there's no doubt that Anderson is a spectacular athlete and the best MMA fighter of all time. 0.98

00:55:33.000 But I just think the level of competition that's involved in MMA, or at least was, in his division, now that division is fucking stacked with killers.

00:55:42.000 But when he was in his prime, there was a long time where, like, the title challengers were like Patrick Cote or Thales Latis or these guys that, like, really weren't at his level. 0.97

00:55:53.000 But now there's like seven or eight guys in the UFC's middleweight division that are just murderers.

00:55:59.000 So it's one of those things where a guy like Anderson, who is the cream of the crop, the best of the best, pretty much the best ever, and because he's at such a high level, all those guys that are training, that see him and aspire to be him or aspire to beat him,

00:56:15.000 those guys all come up in the gym, and by the time Anderson's done, When the new guy comes along, Chris Weidman, there's like this overwhelming momentum of competition behind him because all these guys have been under the shadow of the greatest ever.

00:56:30.000 So it comes in waves.

00:56:32.000 I saw him do...

00:56:33.000 He was losing the whole fight.

00:56:36.000 Right at the end, he got a guy with his legs around his head.

00:56:42.000 Yeah, Chell Sonnen.

00:56:43.000 Chell didn't have to tap there either.

00:56:45.000 You remember that fight?

00:56:46.000 Yeah.

00:56:47.000 Oh, yeah.

00:56:47.000 I mean, I don't know if Chael was exhausted or if...

00:56:50.000 I don't know what happened.

00:56:51.000 Chael could have got out of that because that wasn't a fully locked-in triangle.

00:56:54.000 People have gotten out of way tighter triangles.

00:56:56.000 But there's a bunch of factors, though.

00:56:59.000 One is Chael kind of was susceptible to submissions, and it was a psychological thing where sometimes he would be winning a fight and he just couldn't take the pressure or something.

00:57:07.000 He would just get submitted. 0.96

00:57:09.000 But that fight in particular was weird because he was that close to winning the fucking middleweight title. 0.99

00:57:15.000 Oh, man, was he close. 0.98

00:57:16.000 He was so close.

00:57:17.000 I mean, he was running away from it.

00:57:19.000 Got him in the last minute, right?

00:57:21.000 Yep.

00:57:21.000 Yeah, the fifth round.

00:57:23.000 And to get caught in a triangle like that, like, he didn't have to get caught in that triangle.

00:57:28.000 He could have played it smart and just held that guy down, kept his posture, and, you know, he got caught, and, you know, he tapped pretty much immediately, and then he tried to, like, not say he tapped. 0.95

00:57:40.000 It was, like, a lot of weird shit that happened there. 0.78

00:57:42.000 Your career is amazing when you think about... 0.98

00:57:45.000 I told you, my friend McGettigan, the guy who prosecuted Sandusky, he said, I think Rogan's the best announcer in any sport right now on TV. It does very nicely.

00:57:54.000 And I remember when I was complimenting you on stage at Laugh Factory, and you said, I'm very uncomfortable with this.

00:57:59.000 But I would love for the people to see you doing stand-up, because you're so good at being serious.

00:58:07.000 If they ever saw your act, it would be explosive to them.

00:58:10.000 Well, you know, I think people like to define people in one way. 0.99

00:58:14.000 Like, you're either silly or you're serious or, you know, you're either sexy or you're goofy. 0.96

00:58:20.000 You know, everybody wants to be defined in one way or another. 0.97

00:58:23.000 It's easier to define people, but we all have, like, various aspects to our personalities.

00:58:29.000 We all have weird subtleties.

00:58:31.000 Yeah, but we're all not at the same, like, at a high level of both.

00:58:35.000 Yeah, but it's just time, you know?

00:58:37.000 I put a lot of time into doing stand-up.

00:58:40.000 It's also talent, Joe.

00:58:42.000 Don't turn away from it.

00:58:46.000 We've seen a lot of people put time in and they've gotten worse.

00:58:49.000 Yeah, but don't you think they're doing it wrong?

00:58:52.000 People put time in, but what are they doing with that time?

00:58:57.000 How much are they looking at themselves?

00:59:00.000 How objective are they?

00:59:01.000 I just don't think they have certain gifts, you know?

00:59:05.000 Like, one of the things I study is us stand-up comedians.

00:59:10.000 And there are some people, you can see them walk on stage, they're putting their bottle of water down, and you know they're going to be good.

00:59:17.000 They got an aura about them.

00:59:19.000 There are some people that are so just needy and not natural.

00:59:23.000 And, you know, the not natural thing is tough, because I don't know what you do about that.

00:59:27.000 No matter how hard you work, just not a natural wit.

00:59:30.000 I was watching somebody last night, and I don't want to name them.

00:59:33.000 Name them!

00:59:34.000 Don't name him.

00:59:35.000 No, I don't want to name him because I wouldn't want to hurt him.

00:59:37.000 Chris Aaliyah?

00:59:38.000 No, Chris Aaliyah's a natural.

00:59:40.000 Brian Cowan?

00:59:42.000 Should I name all my friends?

00:59:44.000 Brian Cowan should be out of the business. 0.98

00:59:46.000 He's a sham. 0.99

00:59:47.000 He's a muck. 1.00

00:59:48.000 That motherfucker. 1.00

00:59:50.000 You know what he is? 1.00

00:59:51.000 He's a poor man Jew. 0.99

00:59:52.000 Let me tell you something.

00:59:53.000 There's no funnier guy for a five-day hunting trip.

00:59:56.000 I love Brian Kelly.

00:59:57.000 I love Brian Kelly, too. 0.78

00:59:58.000 I go on hunting trips with him, and it's five days of gay jokes. 1.00

01:00:03.000 Five relentless, non-stop hilarity. 0.99

01:00:07.000 He just fucking never stops. 0.99

01:00:09.000 Well, he's got that sophisticated side of the MTC. He's so goofy on stage. 1.00

01:00:12.000 He's doing Christopher Walken as a pigeon.

01:00:14.000 This is a really fun Chateaubriand.

01:00:21.000 You know what I mean?

01:00:22.000 He's got all these wines he knows.

01:00:24.000 He knows a lot about wine.

01:00:26.000 He knows where the grapes come from, what part of the country. 1.00

01:00:28.000 He studies that shit. 1.00

01:00:29.000 He's a weirdo when it comes to that. 1.00

01:00:31.000 I was going to do his podcast last week.

01:00:32.000 I never heard from him.

01:00:34.000 He just disappeared?

01:00:35.000 That's so him.

01:00:35.000 I don't know.

01:00:36.000 Oh, that's so him.

01:00:36.000 Dub David also is saying, you know, he's my friend because I love him, but he's always late.

01:00:41.000 Yeah.

01:00:41.000 He's always, you know, but he is a character.

01:00:43.000 Oh, he's, but you can't be a guy like Brian Callen unless you're late, unless you're flaky.

01:00:47.000 Yeah.

01:00:48.000 I mean, that's one of the beautiful things of him.

01:00:50.000 It's one of the reasons why I like hunting with him, too.

01:00:51.000 He can't go anywhere.

01:00:52.000 I'm stuck with him for five days.

01:00:54.000 We're hanging out on an island in Alaska.

01:00:56.000 Oh, I could never do that.

01:00:58.000 We have so much.

01:00:58.000 We have so much fun.

01:01:00.000 I just watched an episode last night of us from the Prince of Wales Island that I hadn't really watched the whole episode before.

01:01:06.000 What's it on?

01:01:07.000 I'd love to see it.

01:01:07.000 It's on the Sportsman's channel, which is like an all-hunting channel.

01:01:12.000 What's it called?

01:01:12.000 It's called Meat Eater, and it's me and Callan.

01:01:16.000 Yeah, I'll send you a link to it.

01:01:17.000 I'll send you a link so you can watch it online.

01:01:19.000 Cool. 0.98

01:01:19.000 It's fucking great. 0.98

01:01:20.000 He's so funny, man. 0.99

01:01:22.000 I mean, you don't get a sense of how really funny he is on the show, because they show a little of us goofing off, but most of it's so inappropriate.

01:01:31.000 You know, he'd be like, we're getting ready, we're going to kill some deer.

01:01:34.000 Tom, you got a piece on you. 1.00

01:01:36.000 All of a sudden, he'll start talking about your cock for five minutes. 0.99

01:01:41.000 It's one of those things where it's funny, and then you're like, how long can you keep doing this? 0.98

01:01:46.000 Then it gets funnier, and then you're like, well, surely this is going to end soon.

01:01:50.000 Nope, it gets funnier and funnier, and then you see him an hour later.

01:01:54.000 You keeping it warm for me? 0.99

01:01:56.000 He's so ridiculous. 0.98

01:01:58.000 Now, who goes out there with you besides you two? 0.99

01:02:01.000 Well, there's Steve Rinella, who's the host of the show.

01:02:04.000 And then usually he brings either Ryan Callahan, who is another very experienced hunter and a guy who runs this clothing company called First Light Clothing Company.

01:02:13.000 It's like an all-hunting clothing company.

01:02:15.000 It's all merino wool stuff.

01:02:17.000 It's kind of funny that, like, all these different, you know, synthetics, all these different things they've created for clothes and for, you know, for textiles.

01:02:26.000 Wool. 0.98

01:02:26.000 Merino wool is still, like, the best shit at keeping you warm. 0.98

01:02:30.000 Just lamb's wool. 1.00

01:02:31.000 It's weird.

01:02:32.000 So that guy, Ryan Callahan, will come with us.

01:02:35.000 Giannis Boutelis, who's one of the other guides that Rinella uses.

01:02:40.000 And, you know, we find a place to go.

01:02:41.000 Like, we went turkey hunting a couple weeks ago.

01:02:44.000 That was up in Napa. 0.99

01:02:45.000 It was fucking crazy. 0.99

01:02:46.000 Yeah, I think you told me about that. 0.99

01:02:47.000 That was great.

01:02:48.000 Because we would go turkey hunting through the day, and then we'd go to like the best restaurants in the world at night.

01:02:51.000 That's what I was thinking.

01:02:53.000 See, I would go there.

01:02:54.000 I would do that.

01:02:55.000 I wouldn't do the island thing.

01:02:56.000 Well, turkey hunting's easy, too.

01:02:58.000 It's great.

01:02:59.000 Well, maybe not easy for you.

01:03:01.000 Are there wild turkeys in nature?

01:03:02.000 Oh, of course.

01:03:03.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:03:05.000 That must sound like such a stupid question. 1.00

01:03:07.000 No, it's a good question. 1.00

01:03:08.000 When the fuck do you ever see a wild turkey in West Hollywood? 0.99

01:03:11.000 I never saw one. 1.00

01:03:12.000 Go to your apartment.

01:03:13.000 I don't see a wild turkey on the way to your house.

01:03:15.000 I see pigeons.

01:03:17.000 You stick a rubber turkey in the ground, like a female turkey, and you've got to hide, because turkeys have really good eyesight. 1.00

01:03:23.000 So you wear camo, and I wore a ghillie suit on my face, and you're completely tucked away behind this mesh camo background.

01:03:32.000 Everything is completely designed to camouflage you from these birds.

01:03:39.000 Minimal movement.

01:03:40.000 You can't move. 1.00

01:03:40.000 They see you move in the fucking bolt. 1.00

01:03:42.000 They're out of there. 1.00

01:03:43.000 And you put the rubber turkey in the ground.

01:03:45.000 You got to make these weird hen turkey noises. 0.99

01:03:49.000 They have all these different kinds of turkey call things that they use to try to generate the sound to call these fuckers in. 0.99

01:03:57.000 And then the turkey comes in to check out the rubber turkey and you blast him. 0.99

01:04:01.000 Boom! 0.99

01:04:02.000 Do you have to shoot him? 1.00

01:04:03.000 Shoot him in the head. 1.00

01:04:04.000 Shoot him in the head with a shotgun. 1.00

01:04:05.000 So you save his body for food? 1.00

01:04:07.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:04:07.000 Yeah, you shoot him in the body, then you're gonna be pecking pellets out of the body. 1.00

01:04:11.000 But I shot him perfect. 1.00

01:04:13.000 Died instantly. 0.94

01:04:14.000 The good thing about a turkey, there's no danger of you missing and him attacking you.

01:04:19.000 That's true.

01:04:20.000 Even a deer will fuck you up if everything goes wrong. 0.99

01:04:23.000 What is it, the wild boar that's so dangerous? 0.99

01:04:26.000 Oh, they're definitely dangerous.

01:04:27.000 Wild pigs, yeah.

01:04:29.000 Yeah, wild boars have these big crazy tusks.

01:04:31.000 You know, Doug Stanhope told me, I didn't even know this, Doug Stanhope told me that his next door neighbor's dog got killed by javelinas.

01:04:39.000 Do you know what a javelina is? 0.99

01:04:41.000 This fucked-up-looking, pig-looking thing. 0.99

01:04:44.000 It's actually from a family called the Peccary. 1.00

01:04:46.000 It looks like it's a pig. 0.98

01:04:48.000 It's, you know, like a distant cousin of a pig, apparently. 0.96

01:04:51.000 Obviously, I'm not a biologist. 0.92

01:04:53.000 But there it is.

01:04:55.000 There's a javelina. 1.00

01:04:57.000 Those fucking evil, cunty looking things, they killed his neighbor's dog. 1.00

01:05:03.000 Like, look at the tusks. 1.00

01:05:05.000 You see the teeth?

01:05:06.000 Look up there. 1.00

01:05:06.000 Look at their fucking tusks. 1.00

01:05:08.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:05:08.000 They're like monsters. 1.00

01:05:09.000 Yeah, they're freaky.

01:05:12.000 Remember that joke, Joe? 1.00

01:05:13.000 Look at those fucking teeth. 1.00

01:05:14.000 Jesus. 1.00

01:05:19.000 Oof. 1.00

01:05:19.000 Look at those lower fucking fangs. 1.00

01:05:22.000 What were you saying, that joke? 1.00

01:05:22.000 Remember that joke about the Irish kid goes up to his father and he says, can I get five dollars for a guinea pig? 1.00

01:05:28.000 His father goes, here's ten dollars, get yourself a nice Irish girl. 1.00

01:05:33.000 People don't know what Guinea means. 0.90

01:05:35.000 No, as soon as I heard the word pig. 0.79

01:05:37.000 Guinea's going out of style.

01:05:39.000 You don't hear that anymore.

01:05:40.000 It's definitely not on the West Coast.

01:05:42.000 Not on the West Coast.

01:05:43.000 In the East Coast you hear it.

01:05:44.000 Yeah, I still hear it. 1.00

01:05:45.000 Hey, you Guinea bastard, I love you. 1.00

01:05:46.000 Yeah, but it's okay. 1.00

01:05:47.000 Like, we call each other guineas, and it's all right. 1.00

01:05:50.000 Italians are very, they're not thin-skinned about names.

01:05:53.000 No, but you grow up being abused constantly. 0.92

01:05:56.000 Hey, you're a little old.

01:05:58.000 I never, you know, I mean, the Irish are not thin-skinned either.

01:06:02.000 No.

01:06:03.000 Well, you know, they, at one point in time, were minorities.

01:06:06.000 I mean, it's interesting when you watch, there's a parallel to boxing, because if you look at boxing in the United States, it's always the immigrants that are at the lower end of the social ladder that were really the best at boxing. 0.93

01:06:17.000 They were fighting their way out.

01:06:18.000 It was Jews for a long time. 0.87

01:06:20.000 There was a lot of Jewish boxers.

01:06:21.000 You know, that's one thing that...

01:06:23.000 There were a lot of Jewish basketball players, too.

01:06:24.000 Yeah, I heard that.

01:06:25.000 Brett Auerbach and all, you know, his generation before that.

01:06:29.000 Yeah, that's interesting.

01:06:30.000 Well, Jews still are big basketball fans.

01:06:33.000 Like, Sussman's a huge basketball fan.

01:06:35.000 There's a lot of Jews in New York, especially, that just love basketball.

01:06:40.000 Woody Allen. 1.00

01:06:41.000 He's had every fucking basketball game with his daughter slash wife. 1.00

01:06:44.000 You know that Sussman story about Steve Scharippa? 1.00

01:06:47.000 Which one?

01:06:48.000 Steve Scharippa, you know, Steve Scharippa, for everybody, he's on The Sopranos, terrific actor, good friend.

01:06:54.000 Yeah, he was...

01:06:55.000 Bacala or something?

01:06:57.000 Richie?

01:06:57.000 Is that what his name was on The Sopranos?

01:06:59.000 I don't know.

01:06:59.000 Big guy.

01:07:00.000 Big guy.

01:07:01.000 Really funny.

01:07:02.000 And he was working in Vegas.

01:07:03.000 This is the time before he was acting.

01:07:06.000 And, you know, Steve knew everybody in Vegas, could get everything comped.

01:07:09.000 And I remember Sussman said to him, Steve, we're going to go to Lake Mead on Saturday.

01:07:13.000 You want to go?

01:07:13.000 He goes...

01:07:14.000 No, I can't go, but I can comp you a boat. 0.98

01:07:17.000 Jeff says to me, who the fuck could comp a boat other than Sharipa? 0.96

01:07:21.000 I forgot about that. 0.98

01:07:22.000 I remember that, though, now.

01:07:24.000 Yeah, Sharipa used to run, before he became a big actor on The Sopranos, he used to run the Riviera.

01:07:30.000 He was a talent booker at the Riviera, which was the first place in Vegas I ever worked.

01:07:34.000 He was one of the funniest guys.

01:07:34.000 Was it?

01:07:34.000 He was hilarious.

01:07:35.000 He still is hilarious. 0.99

01:07:36.000 He's a fucking hilarious dude. 0.98

01:07:38.000 Yeah, he's hilarious. 0.98

01:07:39.000 I'm gonna get him on the podcast. 0.98

01:07:40.000 We've been trying to work out a date because he's always writing books and shit. 0.71

01:07:43.000 He's always got something new coming out, but I love that guy. 0.97

01:07:46.000 He's always been great, too. 0.97

01:07:47.000 He's a fucking hilarious guy. 0.99

01:07:49.000 Well, he has no gray in him. 1.00

01:07:50.000 He either hates you or loves you.

01:07:52.000 That's it. 0.99

01:07:54.000 He's an animal, too.

01:07:55.000 I remember we were in the Riviera showroom, and some guy threw a cigarette on the ground and stepped on it, like, inside the showroom. 1.00

01:08:03.000 And he fucking screamed at this guy in front of everybody, you fucking moron. 1.00

01:08:07.000 What are you doing? 1.00

01:08:07.000 You're going to light this place on fire, you stupid fuck? 1.00

01:08:10.000 Like, pick it up! 1.00

01:08:11.000 Like, this is a guy who's, you know...

01:08:14.000 You know, patron.

01:08:15.000 Right.

01:08:16.000 He's telling the guy to pick it up.

01:08:17.000 You know, Sharipa's enormous.

01:08:18.000 He's a giant dude.

01:08:19.000 Very big.

01:08:20.000 And so the guy came over and picked it up and immediately went back to his seat.

01:08:24.000 But he was always this character.

01:08:27.000 Like, this really funny character.

01:08:29.000 And I believe Drew Carey gave him his first break.

01:08:32.000 Like, Drew Carey put him in something.

01:08:33.000 Like, they were friends, because Sharipa used to book the Riv.

01:08:36.000 And then, like, you could see, like, I feel like it was, like, the opening of one of Drew Carey's comedy specials.

01:08:43.000 Maybe it was.

01:08:44.000 You know, I had a pilot called Dom Time, and it was like a sports talk show, and Steve was my announcer.

01:08:51.000 I asked him to be my announcer, and this is before I had any idea he was even interested in it, because he had that voice, everybody, you know.

01:08:58.000 Dom Irera, how are ya? 0.99

01:09:00.000 Yeah, he's just a fucking character, man. 0.99

01:09:02.000 Just such a character. 1.00

01:09:04.000 And then, all of a sudden, he's on The Sopranos.

01:09:07.000 And I was like, whoa! 0.99

01:09:09.000 And he's fucking killing it! 0.99

01:09:11.000 I mean, dramatic acting, really good, but no experience! 0.99

01:09:16.000 Well, he worked hard.

01:09:17.000 He works with my friend Joanne Beckson.

01:09:19.000 Remember Joanne?

01:09:20.000 She teaches acting.

01:09:22.000 I remember reading the sides for The Sopranos with him in Montreal, and he started to act.

01:09:29.000 And I remember saying to him, Steve, don't act.

01:09:32.000 They want you.

01:09:34.000 They want you.

01:09:35.000 This is what they want.

01:09:36.000 You're already a character.

01:09:38.000 You don't need to act like another character.

01:09:40.000 Just be yourself.

01:09:41.000 Yeah.

01:09:43.000 Yeah, it's cool when something like that happens.

01:09:44.000 I love seeing somebody just take off.

01:09:47.000 Like, all of a sudden, they're doing great.

01:09:49.000 I just love that.

01:09:50.000 I love knowing a guy when they're struggling and then seeing them when they're awesome.

01:09:54.000 Just, that's one of the most pleasurable things to me.

01:09:58.000 Yeah.

01:09:58.000 And there's certain guys that kind of everybody's happy for.

01:10:01.000 Yeah.

01:10:01.000 Like Ray Romano, when he...

01:10:03.000 Sure.

01:10:03.000 And, you know Billy Gardell?

01:10:05.000 He's a great guy.

01:10:06.000 Great guy.

01:10:07.000 And Billy, his manager said, you know, you're so popular, even the bitter guys are happy for you.

01:10:13.000 Something like that.

01:10:15.000 It's true.

01:10:16.000 I never hear a bad word about Billy.

01:10:18.000 He's a great guy. 0.96

01:10:19.000 He's in a weird situation, man, because that Melissa McCarthy chick that he's on that show with is fucking huge.

01:10:25.000 Yeah, but he's still... 0.92

01:10:25.000 She's in every movie. 0.92

01:10:26.000 Yeah, she's very hot. 1.00

01:10:28.000 But he takes it.

01:10:29.000 He enjoys it for her.

01:10:30.000 I mean, he's cool.

01:10:31.000 Oh, no.

01:10:31.000 No doubt.

01:10:32.000 But I'm saying, It's so weird.

01:10:34.000 He's a really good stand-up.

01:10:36.000 Yeah.

01:10:36.000 He's a very good actor, too.

01:10:38.000 For whatever reason, everybody's paying attention only to her.

01:10:41.000 I mean, the whole show was kind of written, right?

01:10:42.000 He's like the straight man for her wacky antics, you know?

01:10:46.000 Right.

01:10:46.000 Yeah, she's in a big movie now.

01:10:48.000 I feel bad for her in some sort of strange way.

01:10:52.000 I feel bad for her because she's so big.

01:10:54.000 She jokes around about it and she talks about how she's having a great time and I imagine she is.

01:11:00.000 She's a huge star. 0.99

01:11:02.000 She's got to get a lot of joy out of killing and having people love her and being so funny because she's really fucking funny. 1.00

01:11:10.000 I mean she makes that show really funny too. 0.97

01:11:12.000 She's really talented.

01:11:13.000 But she's so big.

01:11:15.000 She's so big and just so unhealthy. 0.62

01:11:17.000 And I see all that extra meat on her. 0.99

01:11:19.000 Just all that gelatinous, sloppy, wiggling.

01:11:23.000 Are you really?

01:11:24.000 No.

01:11:25.000 No.

01:11:25.000 But I don't mind that.

01:11:26.000 No, you're not.

01:11:26.000 You do very well.

01:11:28.000 A lot of people would be surprised.

01:11:29.000 I'm aware it was always done very well.

01:11:32.000 I don't know.

01:11:33.000 I do my best, Joe.

01:11:35.000 Whatever happened to that Comedy Central show you did on football? 0.98

01:11:38.000 That was a great fucking show, and I don't even like football. 0.99

01:11:41.000 You know what it was? 0.99

01:11:41.000 It was ahead of its time in the sense that Comedy Central wasn't as big then, and frankly, the show's ratings were good. 0.99

01:11:49.000 It was called Offsides. 0.91

01:11:51.000 But the NFL is so fucking rich that they charge so much for the clips that it wasn't worth it for Comedy Central. 0.98

01:11:59.000 Really? 0.97

01:12:00.000 So that's why it died.

01:12:01.000 It didn't die a miserable, unpopular death.

01:12:04.000 It was popular when it went down.

01:12:05.000 And they still cut a lot of it into NFL films now.

01:12:09.000 So I woke up the other morning, I saw my face with a leather helmet on, and the first thing I thought of was, look how thin my face was!

01:12:18.000 Like I told you, you got the drop coming up in Atlantic City.

01:12:21.000 I'm going down.

01:12:23.000 I was in Philly at Thanksgiving.

01:12:25.000 I'm going down the shore and I see my picture on a billboard.

01:12:28.000 And instead of going, look at that. 0.99

01:12:30.000 I'm a fucking kid from Philly. 1.00

01:12:31.000 I'm on a billboard. 1.00

01:12:32.000 I thought, look how fucking thin my face was. 1.00

01:12:35.000 Get this fucking head fat. 1.00

01:12:37.000 You could lose it. 1.00

01:12:38.000 You just have to make a decision.

01:12:40.000 But I'm so hungry, Joe.

01:12:41.000 I understand.

01:12:42.000 But, like, the decision I made, I don't know.

01:12:44.000 No, you're right.

01:12:45.000 About eating healthy as...

01:12:47.000 Yeah.

01:12:47.000 It's everything.

01:12:49.000 For me, it's everything.

01:12:50.000 I went...

01:12:50.000 Like, I'll go on a streak of, like, three or four days where I don't eat that healthy, and I feel...

01:12:55.000 I really do feel dull.

01:12:56.000 Like, my mind feels dull.

01:12:57.000 The healthiest thing I eat is lean meat.

01:13:00.000 Yeah.

01:13:00.000 Lean meat's very healthy.

01:13:02.000 I love bacon.

01:13:04.000 I love bacon, too.

01:13:06.000 I'm a huge fan of bacon.

01:13:07.000 I love it.

01:13:08.000 I just think that you need moderation.

01:13:11.000 Well, it's just...

01:13:12.000 I think you and I also, we're both very...

01:13:16.000 I think every comic, essentially, that we know...

01:13:18.000 We're very indulgent.

01:13:20.000 I think that's a characteristic of comedians.

01:13:22.000 It's very, very self-indulgent, very indulgent, very impulsive.

01:13:26.000 Like, comics tend to do wild, wacky things. 0.99

01:13:28.000 Like, all of a sudden, I'm in this fucking car, and I'm hanging out with these broads. 1.00

01:13:32.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:13:33.000 You know, like, that's the story that every comic has.

01:13:35.000 Crazy, wild, we're doing coke, drinking.

01:13:38.000 Every comic has some crazy, indulgent story. 0.95

01:13:41.000 You know, like you.

01:13:42.000 I'm setting my alarm clock for 6 p.m.

01:13:44.000 so I can be at my show at 8. Yeah.

01:13:46.000 You know?

01:13:47.000 Well, you have the best of both worlds, because you've got a family life and that.

01:13:50.000 Well, I'm pretty disciplined.

01:13:52.000 But I could get indulgent.

01:13:54.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:13:55.000 You go on the road, and you have a good excuse to go on the road. 1.00

01:13:57.000 You're not going, honey, I'm going on the road just to fuck around. 1.00

01:13:59.000 Right. 1.00

01:14:00.000 You go for a real job, for real money, but you have the luxury.

01:14:03.000 You don't have to get up and do morning radio now.

01:14:06.000 That's a big one for me.

01:14:07.000 I still have to do morning radio to plug the dates.

01:14:09.000 That's hard.

01:14:10.000 That's hard because people are like, oh, you poor baby, you gotta do radio. 0.97

01:14:14.000 The problem is it fucks with your sleep cycle and then that dulls your brain too.

01:14:19.000 Yeah, you're getting up at 3 in the morning your time. 0.85

01:14:21.000 Yeah.

01:14:23.000 Hangovers dull my brain too.

01:14:24.000 If I'm hungover and I try to go on stage, I am just not as good.

01:14:27.000 Joe, I've never seen you drunk.

01:14:29.000 I don't get that drunk.

01:14:30.000 I try not to.

01:14:31.000 I mean, I've been a little lit up.

01:14:32.000 But I've never been.

01:14:33.000 Well, I mean, I certainly have in my day.

01:14:36.000 But I just don't make a practice out of it.

01:14:39.000 I just, I'm too aware of the consequences physically.

01:14:41.000 I do too much stuff with my body.

01:14:43.000 You know, it'd be like if I had a really nice car and I was just like, it'd be fun to piss in that gas tank. 1.00

01:14:48.000 Well, I know what's going to happen in the fucking car. 1.00

01:14:51.000 Right. 0.99

01:14:52.000 You know, I'd like a, you know, a shot and a beer.

01:14:55.000 But that's like kind of where it ends.

01:14:57.000 Maybe I'll have a third drink.

01:14:59.000 Let's have a cocktail, gentlemen.

01:15:01.000 It's a sold-out show, Dom Herrera.

01:15:03.000 We're going to have a good time.

01:15:05.000 Greg Fitzsimmons, Ian Edwards.

01:15:07.000 Is that the show?

01:15:07.000 You and myself.

01:15:09.000 That's a great show.

01:15:09.000 Oh, we're going to have a good time.

01:15:11.000 The greatest club in the world.

01:15:12.000 That's the oldest comedy club on the earth.

01:15:14.000 Really?

01:15:15.000 Mm-hmm.

01:15:16.000 The Ice House is the oldest comedy club in America. 1.00

01:15:18.000 And of course, sorry everybody in the rest of the world, but we invented this shit. 0.99

01:15:22.000 Stand-up comedy is an American invention. 0.99

01:15:24.000 Yeah, but the Laugh Factory guarantees laughs.

01:15:27.000 You see the difference?

01:15:27.000 Buddy, I guarantee.

01:15:29.000 You didn't laugh, I laughed.

01:15:31.000 Sorry.

01:15:32.000 I didn't guarantee for you.

01:15:34.000 How can you guarantee laughs? 0.99

01:15:36.000 That's ridiculous. 0.98

01:15:37.000 I know. 0.97

01:15:39.000 Throw your money back.

01:15:40.000 Dave Chappelle was on stage the other night at the Comedy Store.

01:15:42.000 He was very funny.

01:15:43.000 But he was doing this bit about a bad show that he had.

01:15:47.000 You know, where people would be like, you know, God, it must be so hard.

01:15:50.000 I heard about this.

01:15:50.000 This was recently, right?

01:15:51.000 Yeah, he had a fucking terrible show in Connecticut. 0.98

01:15:55.000 People were walking out on him and stuff? 0.99

01:15:55.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:15:56.000 He's had a couple of those because, you know, Dave's got kind of a slow pace. 0.97

01:16:00.000 And if he gets heckled or if people will heckle him and fuck with him, like, sometimes it goes bad, you know? 0.97

01:16:06.000 And it can go bad because he's so famous, too. 0.99

01:16:09.000 It's like it becomes like this event that he's there.

01:16:11.000 It's not just...

01:16:12.000 Did he do it real long?

01:16:14.000 The other night, no.

01:16:15.000 No, he did like...

01:16:16.000 He popped in.

01:16:17.000 I want to say he did like 20 minutes.

01:16:18.000 Wow. 0.99

01:16:19.000 But he fucking destroyed. 0.99

01:16:20.000 But he had the bit about bombing. 0.99

01:16:23.000 And he goes, man, it must be terrible.

01:16:26.000 What happens?

01:16:26.000 What happens when you get off stage?

01:16:28.000 I mean, it must be awful.

01:16:30.000 Nothing happens.

01:16:31.000 I'm just, whoop, it didn't work out.

01:16:34.000 I still get paid either way.

01:16:35.000 He goes, I get paid for the attempt.

01:16:38.000 Ha ha ha ha.

01:16:39.000 It was really funny. 0.99

01:16:41.000 It was fucking hilarious. 0.97

01:16:42.000 He did have a joke about Floyd Mayweather too. 0.99

01:16:44.000 I don't know if this really happened, but Whitney Cummings, he said Whitney Cummings yelled out in the middle of Floyd Mayweather's fight, she stood up, Floyd Mayweather beats women! 1.00

01:16:53.000 And he goes, and men too, bitch! 1.00

01:17:00.000 And he's laughing while he's doing it. 1.00

01:17:02.000 He's like such a jovial...

01:17:03.000 Did he smoke?

01:17:04.000 Oh, he smokes a lot of cigarettes.

01:17:05.000 He smokes on stage, right?

01:17:07.000 Oh, he smokes a lot of cigarettes.

01:17:08.000 He smokes a lot of cigarettes and he believes a lot of conspiracies.

01:17:11.000 I believe he is one of the people that believes that Bill Cosby was somehow set up.

01:17:16.000 Set up by 30 women? 1.00

01:17:18.000 I don't think he believes that Bill Cosby didn't do it, but I think that there's some folks out there.

01:17:24.000 I had an argument with a dude last night at the Comedy Store about this that works for Live Nation.

01:17:28.000 A fine fellow, not a bad human, but he's perhaps been hanging around with the wrong crowd.

01:17:33.000 And he said, don't you think it's suspicious that it all happened like this right when his show comes out? 0.97

01:17:38.000 I go, he's fucking 70, okay? 0.95

01:17:42.000 He's had a career that's lasted since the 1960s. 0.98

01:17:45.000 He had a series in the 1960s.

01:17:48.000 Yeah, I Spy, right?

01:17:49.000 Yeah.

01:17:49.000 I mean, come on, man.

01:17:50.000 No, it's not a conspiracy. 0.98

01:17:52.000 They're trying to sabotage his career after a hundred fucking years at the top. 0.98

01:17:56.000 Do you know how hard it was for a black man to get a series that wasn't comedically about a step-and-fetcher type black guy in those days? 0.99

01:18:04.000 Right.

01:18:04.000 Well, he was a cop, right?

01:18:06.000 Wasn't he?

01:18:07.000 He was a detective, yeah.

01:18:10.000 That hurts me.

01:18:12.000 That one hurts me.

01:18:13.000 It really hurts me having daughters, too.

01:18:16.000 I've heard it from people before.

01:18:17.000 Girls will tell you that they got roofied, and it's always terrifying, but somehow or another, the girl is telling you he's okay, and they're right in front of you, and you go, wow, it's hard for me to connect to this.

01:18:31.000 God, it's awful, and it's terrible, but it's hard for me to connect to this. 0.99

01:18:35.000 Like, I know it's real, and I know it happens, but when I heard that Bill fucking Cosby was drugging and raping women, allegedly, I should say, allegedly. 1.00

01:18:46.000 They can't make up that many stories. 1.00

01:18:49.000 You could.

01:18:50.000 You certainly could. 1.00

01:18:50.000 You could get 30 crazy bitches, but I don't think they are. 1.00

01:18:55.000 But they're not organized. 1.00

01:18:56.000 No.

01:18:57.000 No, no.

01:18:57.000 I mean, I'm not saying that they are.

01:18:59.000 I'm saying you certainly could.

01:19:01.000 If somebody like some crazy Bill Gates type character wanted to pay 30 people to come up with the same story, they could certainly do it.

01:19:09.000 Alright.

01:19:09.000 Right?

01:19:09.000 I'm not saying that they did.

01:19:11.000 Yeah.

01:19:12.000 I mean, that's beside the point.

01:19:13.000 I mean, I'm just trying to be as open-minded as possible.

01:19:16.000 I'm not a denier in any way, shape, or form. 0.98

01:19:18.000 But what freaks me out is that this is a guy that was loved by fucking millions. 0.99

01:19:27.000 Millions. 0.99

01:19:27.000 And they loved him as this fatherly, sweater-wearing, don't-tell-dirty-jokes, you know? 0.99

01:19:35.000 Like that famous thing from the Eddie Murphy special where he's, you know, getting mad at Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor tells him.

01:19:42.000 To not worry about it.

01:19:43.000 But apparently he did that to Cat Williams?

01:19:45.000 Or Chris Rock, rather?

01:19:47.000 That really bothered me, the way he treated the young black guys because of their language. 0.63

01:19:52.000 And then you find out he's a felon, an unconvicted felon.

01:19:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:19:56.000 Well, he's a rapist, let's say it right. 0.99

01:19:59.000 You know, Joe, when I first started, I was on Star Search, and he was the guest host. 1.00

01:20:03.000 And I heard shit about him then. 0.97

01:20:06.000 Same thing? 0.99

01:20:07.000 No.

01:20:07.000 What'd you hear?

01:20:08.000 Just that he was married, but he was a womanizer. 0.87

01:20:12.000 But there was something creepy about him, even in those days. 0.93

01:20:16.000 That's a long time ago. 0.88

01:20:18.000 Yeah, I mean, there's a big step between a womanizer and a rapist. 0.68

01:20:22.000 Yeah, I know. 0.97

01:20:23.000 The womanizer is a guy who's an enthusiast.

01:20:25.000 He enjoys the ladies, he enjoys the broads.

01:20:29.000 It's hard. 0.90

01:20:30.000 But there's a lack of humanity in someone who's willing to drug a woman. 1.00

01:20:36.000 It's so fucking evil. 0.99

01:20:37.000 Like, we were talking about rape, and I was saying that there's no way I could rape somebody because I have too much compassion, and I could never hurt somebody. 1.00

01:20:47.000 Like, you know, I know it sounds like, oh, big deal, you couldn't rape somebody, but I don't even fucking get it. 0.98

01:20:51.000 Like, how you could be that evil to get hard seeing somebody cry and stuff, you know? 0.99

01:20:56.000 Yeah.

01:20:57.000 God, I'm bringing this podcast down.

01:21:00.000 I'm sorry.

01:21:01.000 No, no, you're not.

01:21:01.000 You know, I think what we were talking about earlier about divas, About this, you know, get out of my way.

01:21:07.000 I'm better than everyone else.

01:21:08.000 I think they're related.

01:21:09.000 Because I think there's a level of stardom that some people reach that the world gets very foggy.

01:21:17.000 Like, obviously Cher is a very nice person. 0.91

01:21:19.000 And she's a very kind person to you and very easy to get along.

01:21:22.000 But detached because of her fame and because of her popularity.

01:21:26.000 Well, to the point where she feels alienated.

01:21:28.000 She was a star at 19. She never knew the real world.

01:21:31.000 That's right.

01:21:32.000 Yeah, Sonny and Cher, man.

01:21:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:21:33.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:21:34.000 That's crazy if you think about it that way. 1.00

01:21:36.000 She's been famous for so long, you kind of forget.

01:21:39.000 19, she was a big star.

01:21:40.000 That's nuts. 0.99

01:21:42.000 Gypsies, tramp sound thieves. 1.00

01:21:44.000 That's what the people of the town called us. 0.93

01:21:47.000 I love that song.

01:21:48.000 But it's in tune.

01:21:50.000 But she's a nice person, you know what I'm saying?

01:21:52.000 She made through that and stayed a nice person, even though she's a quote-unquote diva.

01:21:57.000 She's a diva because she's extraordinarily talented and very respected and loved and all that good stuff. 0.99

01:22:03.000 That thing that makes you like everyone out of my way, you know, you know that Whether it would Diana Ross did it and you saw with the Whitney Houston thing the bodyguards pushing it aside Yeah, the Streisand thing that John Mellencamp he did John Mellencamp friend of mine Omar Not not the tent maker another one more from the wire No?

01:22:26.000 He used to tell me that he was stage managing, and you weren't allowed to talk to him.

01:22:32.000 He had to talk to his manager, and he would say it, like right next to him.

01:22:35.000 And there's a guy like the blue-collar, gritty guy.

01:22:38.000 You know, they didn't like him in Indiana. 0.99

01:22:40.000 I was in Indiana for a fight, and they showed John Mellencamp's picture, and the fucking whole crowd booed. 0.98

01:22:46.000 Why's that? 0.99

01:22:47.000 That's what I said.

01:22:48.000 And they said, because he's a liberal.

01:22:51.000 Oh, really?

01:22:53.000 Because he's...

01:22:54.000 I don't know what he did or said.

01:22:56.000 I don't know what...

01:22:56.000 I don't know.

01:22:57.000 I don't know what it is.

01:22:59.000 But man, there was like a bunch of boos and I couldn't believe it.

01:23:02.000 I was like, this is John Mellencamp.

01:23:04.000 Like, we're in Indianapolis.

01:23:05.000 He's from this area.

01:23:06.000 I was born in a small town.

01:23:09.000 You know, that's him.

01:23:10.000 That's why, like, of all those women that we talked about, I wasn't surprised by any of them.

01:23:16.000 But by John Mellencamp, I thought he was, like, the gritty down-the-earth.

01:23:19.000 Right, right.

01:23:20.000 Like, Bruce Springsteen is notoriously personable. 0.98

01:23:23.000 Like, if you talk to Bruce Springsteen, like, Brian Callen had a conversation with Bruce Springsteen, and he said, you talk to that guy, and you would think that he's a fucking, you know, whatever. 0.96

01:23:32.000 He owns a company, or he's a fucking banker, or he's a normal dude. 0.98

01:23:36.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.98

01:23:36.000 But obviously charismatic and interesting and intelligent, but he doesn't have any airs about them. 0.98

01:23:41.000 I was doing Cone and Bruce came up to visit Max, the drummer.

01:23:46.000 He's in the same group.

01:23:48.000 I know you know that.

01:23:50.000 But Bruce comes up to me and he says, you know, something about stand-up.

01:23:54.000 And I said, if I ever open for anybody.

01:23:57.000 He goes, yes, I have.

01:23:58.000 And I said, you know what?

01:23:58.000 I would never, ever open for you.

01:24:01.000 So why I said what a fucking nightmare I said the curtain goes down and they're all going Bruce and the curtain comes up and I'm standing there with a mic they're going you're not Bruce We want Bruce Whoever the fuck you are get away Those are that's a hard thing when you're opening for somebody when they want the other person That's a shitty thing to say to I've seen people open for other comics and you know bring bring out you know Tosh well I bring out you know on the bill and So it wasn't like I was surprised. 0.98

01:24:31.000 I was on the bill, I was on the marquee.

01:24:33.000 That's big.

01:24:33.000 Yeah, that's big.

01:24:34.000 That's different.

01:24:35.000 Yeah, so people prepare, they know you're part of the program.

01:24:38.000 Well, you remember the whole Bill Burr thing?

01:24:40.000 The Philly thing, yeah.

01:24:42.000 Well, you know, that started with me.

01:24:44.000 Yeah.

01:24:44.000 You know that story.

01:24:45.000 Yeah, well those ONA crowds, the pests, who I'd love, but those guys are fucking notoriously mean. 0.99

01:24:53.000 They're notoriously mean. 0.99

01:24:54.000 If things go bad...

01:24:56.000 But the thing that happened was they were so drunk, all they wanted was Jim Norton.

01:25:01.000 And I love Jim Norton.

01:25:02.000 Right. 1.00

01:25:02.000 The only one that had a great set was Bill, because he berated the fucking people. 1.00

01:25:07.000 Right, right. 1.00

01:25:07.000 And I even told them. 1.00

01:25:08.000 A couple people booed me.

01:25:09.000 I says, you know what?

01:25:10.000 Make it $12,000 for 10 minutes. 1.00

01:25:12.000 Go back to your mother's basements, you fucking retards. 1.00

01:25:15.000 With your emaciated Lazarus looks. 1.00

01:25:19.000 And then I got a cheer.

01:25:21.000 And Bill was still mad.

01:25:22.000 He says to me like I don't know on me.

01:25:24.000 He goes, they boo Dom Herrera?

01:25:26.000 I go, Bill, I am Dom Herrera.

01:25:28.000 Don't worry about it.

01:25:29.000 And I went on the speaker and I just sat there.

01:25:31.000 I was crying laughing.

01:25:32.000 And the funniest thing he said, he put down everything.

01:25:35.000 The Eagles, the Flyers.

01:25:36.000 The Liberty Bell. 1.00

01:25:36.000 Yeah, fuck the Liberty Bell. 1.00

01:25:38.000 Fuck the Liberty Bill. 1.00

01:25:40.000 He's talking about how racist they are. 1.00

01:25:42.000 They've got all the best boxers in the world.

01:25:44.000 You go after a fictitious white guy who's 5'5".

01:25:53.000 You know what he said to me?

01:25:54.000 He said he had to stop doing them because people expected him to lay into them.

01:25:58.000 Oh, yeah.

01:25:59.000 Yeah, there was a point in time after that where that became what he was known for.

01:26:04.000 It could get bad.

01:26:06.000 You could go bad like that.

01:26:07.000 You could get stuck in a character.

01:26:08.000 Yeah.

01:26:09.000 Like, there's guys that are stuck in characters.

01:26:11.000 Oh, God.

01:26:12.000 You know?

01:26:12.000 Like, Dice is stuck in a character.

01:26:14.000 Imagine being a 70-year-old Dice.

01:26:17.000 I think he's funny.

01:26:18.000 I know you and him have problems.

01:26:20.000 I like him.

01:26:21.000 There's one of my...

01:26:21.000 Certain times in life you have friends that don't like each other.

01:26:25.000 That's just one of those deals.

01:26:26.000 He's a friend?

01:26:27.000 I'm a way better friend of you.

01:26:28.000 I'll tell you right now.

01:26:29.000 But I am friends with Dice.

01:26:31.000 I like Dice.

01:26:32.000 But I love you.

01:26:33.000 Thank you.

01:26:34.000 I love you too.

01:26:34.000 You're my brother.

01:26:35.000 Right back.

01:26:36.000 Ditto, my friend.

01:26:38.000 But, like, you know, he kind of became that guy.

01:26:42.000 For folks who don't know, Andrew Silverstein was Andrew Silverstein.

01:26:46.000 And Andrew Silverstein used to go on stage and used to have a variety of different impressions.

01:26:50.000 He used to do a tremendous John Travolta.

01:26:52.000 Because Travolta was excellent.

01:26:53.000 He's an excellent actor.

01:26:55.000 Very good actor, very good impressionist.

01:26:57.000 He'd do all these things, and then he would do the Dice Man!

01:27:01.000 And I jizzed all over her head. 1.00

01:27:04.000 And the Dice Man character in his act...

01:27:06.000 Well, you know who that's from?

01:27:07.000 Buddy Love.

01:27:08.000 What's that?

01:27:08.000 Buddy Love was in The Nutty Professor.

01:27:10.000 That character's directly derivative from that.

01:27:13.000 Really?

01:27:14.000 Yeah.

01:27:14.000 Buddy Love in The Nutty Professor.

01:27:16.000 Is that...

01:27:17.000 The Nutty Professor is Jerry Lewis and he takes a serum and changes it to a different guy.

01:27:21.000 Pull that.

01:27:22.000 I need to see that.

01:27:23.000 When he changed into that guy, that's the character the dice became.

01:27:26.000 Really?

01:27:27.000 Jamie.

01:27:28.000 Yeah.

01:27:29.000 Illuminate the world.

01:27:30.000 Jerry Lewis, Nutty Professor, Buddy Love.

01:27:33.000 I will be in Kilkenny in two weeks.

01:27:35.000 Are you going to go there?

01:27:36.000 Ireland? 1.00

01:27:36.000 Oh, you son of a bitch. 1.00

01:27:37.000 I love it. 1.00

01:27:38.000 I performed in Dublin and Belfast, Northern Ireland.

01:27:41.000 Oh, did you?

01:27:42.000 I've never been to Belfast.

01:27:43.000 Animals.

01:27:44.000 They call me the godfather of Kilkenny.

01:27:46.000 Look at this.

01:27:47.000 Okay, find it.

01:27:48.000 But look, the way he looks.

01:27:50.000 So he became like a slick guy?

01:27:52.000 Is that what it is?

01:27:53.000 Well, yeah.

01:27:54.000 See if you can find something.

01:27:57.000 Hmm.

01:27:59.000 Jerry Lewis as Buddy Love.

01:28:04.000 We've got a world that swings.

01:28:05.000 Whoa.

01:28:06.000 Oh my God, it is.

01:28:07.000 Give me some volume here.

01:28:11.000 Wow, he comes out as a cool guy with a cigarette.

01:28:13.000 His hair is slicked back.

01:28:19.000 Wow, look at the people in the audience back then.

01:28:22.000 The chick was beautiful. 1.00

01:28:31.000 What kind of bullshit is this? 1.00

01:28:39.000 This just shows you how culture evolves. 1.00

01:28:44.000 Have you ever seen the...

01:28:45.000 Look how hot she is. 1.00

01:28:46.000 Good fucking googly moogly. 1.00

01:28:49.000 But the broad on the left of her is going to cock block... 1.00

01:28:53.000 Jerry's going to try to make nice to her, come over and say hi, and the other one's going to drool all over him. 1.00

01:28:58.000 But yeah, he is kind of like...

01:29:00.000 You've got to see the character.

01:29:01.000 See if you can find it.

01:29:03.000 He admitted that he was doing Buddy Love.

01:29:05.000 Really?

01:29:06.000 Yeah, he never said that it was his character.

01:29:09.000 I'm almost positive on that.

01:29:11.000 Wow, I did not know.

01:29:12.000 I never saw that on you, Professor.

01:29:14.000 It was one of his many impressions.

01:29:15.000 I never even saw the Eddie Murphy version.

01:29:18.000 No, I didn't see Eddie's.

01:29:19.000 I saw Jerry Lewis's.

01:29:20.000 I never saw it.

01:29:21.000 So that...

01:29:26.000 That old black magic.

01:29:29.000 How come...

01:29:32.000 We were talking about this the other day. 1.00

01:29:35.000 How come nobody cared about girls' asses back then? 0.99

01:29:37.000 There was no big asses back then. 1.00

01:29:41.000 Girls weren't doing squats. 1.00

01:29:44.000 Like, you go to girls' Instagram pages, they're all wearing fucking yoga pants. 1.00

01:29:47.000 Marilyn Monroe's ass. 1.00

01:29:49.000 She couldn't even be one of the fly girls. 1.00

01:29:51.000 How about that?

01:29:52.000 How about that?

01:29:53.000 Jane Mansfield, Marilyn Monroe.

01:29:55.000 Those girls, I mean, they had a different kind of body. 1.00

01:29:57.000 They were obviously very beautiful, but they did not have, like, there's some ridiculous Instagram girls that have, like, two million followers on Instagram, and they have these giant butts. 1.00

01:30:06.000 Like, look at Marilyn Monroe's ass. 1.00

01:30:08.000 Get a close-up on that, Jamie. 1.00

01:30:09.000 They didn't work out like women today. 1.00

01:30:11.000 That's what I'm saying, Dom.

01:30:13.000 What happened?

01:30:13.000 I mean, that's not a badass.

01:30:15.000 That's a very nice ass. 1.00

01:30:16.000 You wouldn't fuck me out of my room? 1.00

01:30:17.000 I would certainly do that. 1.00

01:30:18.000 But it's a little on the flat side.

01:30:20.000 I'd have to look at her.

01:30:21.000 I'd have to flip her over. 1.00

01:30:23.000 I'd have to look her eye to eye, which is fine with me.

01:30:25.000 I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it.

01:30:26.000 She's a beautiful lady. 0.99

01:30:27.000 I don't think that's her at her best, either.

01:30:28.000 But it's just...

01:30:29.000 That's actually a pretty good one.

01:30:30.000 I'm sure her back's arched up there. 0.95

01:30:32.000 Yeah.

01:30:33.000 Left.

01:30:34.000 Down.

01:30:35.000 Right in the middle.

01:30:36.000 There you go.

01:30:36.000 Yeah.

01:30:37.000 But still, like, you compare that to, like...

01:30:41.000 The style of body that women aspire to today. 1.00

01:30:45.000 I mean, everyone was like, the hourglass figure.

01:30:48.000 Well, the hourglass is very different shaped now. 1.00

01:30:51.000 Like, you look at, like, the fucking Jennifer Lopez style asses. 1.00

01:30:56.000 Oh, I love her body. 1.00

01:30:58.000 Yeah, I mean, girls have just different asses now. 1.00

01:31:02.000 I mean, and it's like really... 1.00

01:31:03.000 The ass has evolved! 1.00

01:31:04.000 It has! 1.00

01:31:06.000 I mean, girls never had asses like that. 1.00

01:31:08.000 This is like a big thing. 0.99

01:31:10.000 Like, we want big, muscular asses now, whereas if you look at Playboy from just a few years ago, there was no girls that had big, giant asses like that. 1.00

01:31:20.000 It didn't exist. 0.99

01:31:22.000 This is a new fad, darling. 0.99

01:31:23.000 I'd rather her ass be a little big than too small. 1.00

01:31:26.000 Oh, definitely. 1.00

01:31:27.000 I like girls with a little body fat on them. 1.00

01:31:29.000 I think it's sexy. 1.00

01:31:30.000 Sickest thing I ever heard was a comedian friend of mine who goes, oh, fuck. 1.00

01:31:34.000 She had such a nice ass. 1.00

01:31:35.000 It was like a little boy. 1.00

01:31:36.000 Holy fucking scary creep. 1.00

01:31:39.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:31:42.000 Did you find any buddy love? 1.00

01:31:45.000 It's gotta exist.

01:31:47.000 It's the YouTube. 0.51

01:31:48.000 The YouTube has everything, goddammit.

01:31:51.000 I just found the full movie. 0.74

01:31:52.000 Oh, okay.

01:31:53.000 Alright. 1.00

01:31:53.000 Cut through that shit. 1.00

01:31:55.000 Get to the heart of the matter. 1.00

01:31:57.000 So, in The Nutty Professor, did he take like a potion and he became this cool guy?

01:32:01.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:32:01.000 That's what it was.

01:32:02.000 It was just real geeky.

01:32:06.000 It's just weird the style of movies and of entertainment.

01:32:11.000 Like when he was sitting there singing that terrible song in front of all those people.

01:32:16.000 It's like people actually went to see something like that and they enjoyed it.

01:32:20.000 You know, the world has changed in so many weird ways, man.

01:32:24.000 So many weird ways that it's like, it's hard to keep up with it, or it's hard to put it into perspective unless you go back and watch old stuff.

01:32:34.000 Is this his character?

01:32:37.000 Yeah.

01:32:38.000 Yeah.

01:32:39.000 Here it is.

01:32:41.000 She's crazy about me also.

01:32:44.000 Now, last weekend, Junior, you ordered your drink.

01:32:49.000 About last night.

01:32:50.000 Would you like to explain what happened?

01:32:51.000 I told you I was gonna tell you.

01:32:53.000 It's, uh...

01:32:55.000 Why don't we kind of table it a while, sweetie, huh?

01:32:58.000 I mean, all the kids that are kind of waiting, you know?

01:33:00.000 It's Dullsville out.

01:33:02.000 I'll be back.

01:33:03.000 You take five.

01:33:04.000 And I love you, baby.

01:33:05.000 Mean it sincerely.

01:33:06.000 You wait for me, huh?

01:33:08.000 Oh, there you are, sweets.

01:33:10.000 Thanks a lot.

01:33:13.000 So all these girls come running up to the table, and he's gonna play the piano.

01:33:17.000 He's drinking.

01:33:18.000 Does a shot.

01:33:25.000 She's gorgeous, isn't she?

01:33:26.000 I need to find out what it is.

01:33:28.000 He's got something.

01:33:29.000 I think I'll do a...

01:33:31.000 Do a tune that I'm gonna...

01:33:35.000 Record for a poverty record.

01:33:38.000 Sounds like Sinatra a little.

01:33:39.000 Well, his formula's wearing off, right?

01:33:42.000 Isn't that what's supposed to be happening here?

01:33:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:33:44.000 He's like Mr. Cool Guy.

01:33:46.000 Isn't that hilarious?

01:33:47.000 The idea that he can't continue to act like this, that it's impossible. 1.00

01:33:51.000 Stupid premise. 1.00

01:33:54.000 See? 1.00

01:33:55.000 It's coming out.

01:33:58.000 You're near me.

01:34:02.000 Hey, lady! 1.00

01:34:05.000 Riboflavin! 0.93

01:34:20.000 What's happening?

01:34:22.000 Look, she's turning to her friend.

01:34:23.000 What's happening?

01:34:27.000 I think that'll be it for a while.

01:34:32.000 He's got to run away and turn back into the professor.

01:34:36.000 The nerdy professor who can't get the girls.

01:34:39.000 I feel like the girl on our wedding night whose absent-minded husband goes home to his mother for dinner. 0.99

01:34:46.000 Boy, movies suck back then. 0.96

01:34:48.000 Jesus Christ, could you imagine? 0.99

01:34:50.000 I mean, that's almost like a parody of a movie.

01:34:53.000 Yeah.

01:34:53.000 I mean, it's almost like a parody.

01:34:55.000 Have you ever seen, like, some of the old Liberace stuff, back when Liberace was a heartthrob?

01:35:00.000 No.

01:35:01.000 Oh my God.

01:35:02.000 Pull up when Liberace winks at me.

01:35:05.000 This is one of my favorite things.

01:35:07.000 When I think about...

01:35:07.000 Wait, he acted like he was straight, Joe?

01:35:09.000 Oh, yeah.

01:35:10.000 Forever!

01:35:11.000 For the longest time, they would always ask him, Liberace, when are you going to get married?

01:35:15.000 Well, I'm just trying to find the right girl, but it's hard. 0.99

01:35:19.000 But when you watch this, when you watch, like, him, and you realize, when Liberace winks at me, like, this was like, crank this shit. 0.99

01:35:27.000 I like when guys that are gay try and act like they're straight. 1.00

01:35:30.000 Look at this. 0.94

01:35:32.000 This is a girl sitting at home.

01:35:34.000 She's writing, like, a fan letter.

01:35:37.000 And Liberace's on the TV. And watch when he winks, it makes a crazy noise.

01:35:45.000 Like watch this.

01:35:49.000 Look at this.

01:36:05.000 You've got the other thing playing on the background, Jamie.

01:36:07.000 Hold on. 1.00

01:36:08.000 Get it together, bitch. 1.00

01:36:10.000 Hold on. 1.00

01:36:11.000 Pause it.

01:36:12.000 Don't go to your Twitter. 1.00

01:36:14.000 Jesus Christ, you fuck. 1.00

01:36:15.000 Jeremiah Watkins. 1.00

01:36:16.000 How dare you?

01:36:17.000 What have you done?

01:36:17.000 You've ruined this whole Liberace moment.

01:36:19.000 What have you done?

01:36:20.000 Here we go.

01:36:20.000 Go back to it.

01:36:23.000 So natural.

01:36:28.000 Look at this.

01:36:29.000 That's what happens when Liberace winks at me.

01:36:35.000 Get it, liver.

01:36:36.000 Look at that clink when he winks.

01:36:45.000 That's what happens when Liberace winks at me.

01:36:54.000 Here it comes.

01:36:55.000 Listen to this.

01:36:58.000 Oh, God.

01:36:59.000 The clink when he winks is just so weird. 0.97

01:37:03.000 And when he sits there at the candle No one can hold a candle over to him I mean, okay, I can kill it.

01:37:12.000 But I mean, he didn't even sing, you know, this.

01:37:15.000 The girl's singing, and his famous thing was playing the guitar.

01:37:19.000 Or playing the piano, rather.

01:37:21.000 But it was enough.

01:37:22.000 That's all you needed.

01:37:23.000 I mean, there he didn't.

01:37:24.000 I mean, he sang in some other songs, right?

01:37:26.000 He sang, right?

01:37:28.000 Didn't Liberace sing?

01:37:31.000 Somewhere over the rainbows.

01:37:33.000 He had to have sung.

01:37:35.000 Man, maybe he didn't.

01:37:36.000 I don't remember him singing.

01:37:38.000 Really?

01:37:39.000 That doesn't mean he didn't sing.

01:37:40.000 I wasn't a big fan.

01:37:41.000 You were a huge fan.

01:37:43.000 I was a big fan.

01:37:45.000 Yeah, the poster right next to the Farrah Fawcett poster.

01:37:49.000 But it's weird when you look at old culture, when you look at things that were just...

01:37:53.000 Here he goes.

01:37:54.000 Is he singing?

01:37:56.000 He's singing.

01:37:57.000 The Liberace Show.

01:38:00.000 He's not mic'd.

01:38:02.000 People who need people.

01:38:04.000 Oh, he's talking the song.

01:38:09.000 They're the luckiest people. 1.00

01:38:11.000 Oh, kill that. 1.00

01:38:12.000 Kill that before we both turn gay. 1.00

01:38:14.000 In the world. 1.00

01:38:14.000 We could all turn gay just watching that. 1.00

01:38:16.000 That fucking documentary or that movie, rather, they did about him for HBO with Matt Damon and, um, the fuck's his name? 1.00

01:38:24.000 Kirk Douglas or Michael Douglas? 0.99

01:38:26.000 Michael Douglas, yeah.

01:38:26.000 Jesus Christ, that was good.

01:38:28.000 Did you ever see that?

01:38:28.000 No, no.

01:38:29.000 I heard it was really good.

01:38:30.000 It was so good.

01:38:31.000 It was so good and so crazy.

01:38:33.000 Who played Liberace?

01:38:34.000 Douglas.

01:38:35.000 Douglas?

01:38:35.000 Yeah, Michael Douglas.

01:38:36.000 And Matt Damon played his boyfriend.

01:38:38.000 Oh, God, that must have been funny.

01:38:39.000 He's such a good actor.

01:38:41.000 He's a good actor.

01:38:41.000 But he had all this crazy plastic surgery to look like Liberace, the boyfriend, did in real life.

01:38:47.000 So they got all this prosthetics on Matt Damon to make his chin stick out.

01:38:51.000 And at the beginning of the film, he's beautiful Matt Damon, how he really looks.

01:38:56.000 But then as the film goes on, yeah, look at him.

01:39:00.000 He starts to get all of this plastic surgery.

01:39:03.000 Oh, my God.

01:39:03.000 Yeah, see if they have...

01:39:04.000 He looks like a newscaster.

01:39:05.000 He looks like Diane Sawyer.

01:39:08.000 Yeah.

01:39:09.000 I shouldn't say that.

01:39:10.000 It was really good.

01:39:11.000 It's really good.

01:39:13.000 Because I don't think it was too overblown.

01:39:16.000 I think it was really, like, fairly realistic.

01:39:18.000 Imagine how much fun he had playing that.

01:39:21.000 I don't know if you remember Hollywood Shuffle.

01:39:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:39:24.000 I got to play a gay friend of mine who I went to college with, and his name, we used to call him Vinny the Binny.

01:39:31.000 And the reason I got the character was my wife and I were going down to a college reunion, and this is when he got gayer and gayer because he was a hairdresser on the Broadway, and he's a really good dude.

01:39:40.000 He's driving me down, and I go, Vinny, you want a beer?

01:39:42.000 He goes, no thanks, Don, but you have one.

01:39:46.000 They did that little laugh.

01:39:47.000 Mm-hmm.

01:39:49.000 Whatever happened to Robert Townsend?

01:39:51.000 He's another one.

01:39:52.000 I don't know. 0.98

01:39:52.000 That guy was a killer. 0.98

01:39:53.000 Remember he used to do those HBO specials where he'd have all the different comics up and he had these elaborate sets and he was hosting it and he had all those movies.

01:40:03.000 The movie was so funny with Damon and Kenan Waynes and John Witherspoon.

01:40:08.000 He had a bunch of good movies. 0.96

01:40:10.000 Joe, when we shot that movie, we were fucking crying laughing. 0.85

01:40:14.000 What happened to him, man? 0.99

01:40:15.000 I don't know.

01:40:16.000 I don't know.

01:40:18.000 You know, he stole a bit of mine, and that's how I got in the movie.

01:40:22.000 Remember my school for Italians?

01:40:23.000 Yeah.

01:40:24.000 Is there a school where I teach Italians how to be more Italian?

01:40:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:40:28.000 And he had a school for actors, black actors, teaching black actors how to be more black.

01:40:33.000 Right?

01:40:33.000 So it was basically a rip-off.

01:40:35.000 Right.

01:40:35.000 And we're watching a Georgetown-Villanova game at his house, and he shows me this thing.

01:40:40.000 And I said, well, Robert, that's...

01:40:41.000 You know, he wanted me to do a part in the movie, but he was also showing me...

01:40:44.000 I just wanted to let you know I kind of borrowed something...

01:40:47.000 I said, but that's mine.

01:40:48.000 I said, you know, I wouldn't even let him do it.

01:40:51.000 And he goes, I never saw you do it. 0.99

01:40:53.000 I go, we worked together every fucking night. 0.98

01:40:55.000 We did improvs on stage together. 0.99

01:40:57.000 How could you not see it?

01:40:58.000 Your mind shut down?

01:41:02.000 People will say that.

01:41:03.000 People will say that.

01:41:04.000 I've seen guys say that, that work with guys and then steal a bit and say, I never saw you do it. 0.99

01:41:09.000 Like, bitch, you saw him do it. 1.00

01:41:10.000 You saw him do it a hundred times, maybe. 0.99

01:41:13.000 That was a big thing at the Laugh Factory.

01:41:14.000 That was one of the reasons why I stopped going to the Laugh Factory.

01:41:16.000 It doesn't happen in any way.

01:41:17.000 You should come back.

01:41:18.000 Oh, by the way, June 9th, if you're available.

01:41:21.000 What day is that?

01:41:22.000 It's a Tuesday.

01:41:22.000 It's my next one.

01:41:23.000 I'm in.

01:41:25.000 I'm in, Dom.

01:41:26.000 I want to get you and Joey back again.

01:41:28.000 Oh, wait a minute.

01:41:29.000 Yeah.

01:41:29.000 No, I'm good.

01:41:30.000 Oh, good.

01:41:30.000 Yeah.

01:41:31.000 The 9th, I'll be...

01:41:32.000 Yeah, I'm in Irvine that weekend.

01:41:35.000 Yeah, I'm in.

01:41:36.000 We'll get Diaz with us.

01:41:38.000 Let's do it.

01:41:38.000 I love Diaz.

01:41:39.000 Let's do it. 1.00

01:41:40.000 Diaz was on fucking fire last night. 0.99

01:41:43.000 The funniest guy in the world, ever. 0.98

01:41:46.000 He's the funniest guy of all time. 0.64

01:41:48.000 Fucking great. 0.99

01:41:48.000 Last night at the fucking OR in the Comedy Store, I was crying. 0.99

01:41:53.000 I mean, tears were rolling down my hair, my eyes rather. 0.99

01:41:56.000 Does he say it?

01:41:57.000 Does he say your whole name, too?

01:41:58.000 Yeah.

01:41:59.000 Oh, yeah.

01:41:59.000 Dom Herrera.

01:42:00.000 Listen, Dom Herrera. 1.00

01:42:00.000 I'll tell you right now, these fucking bitches, they got nothing for me. 1.00

01:42:04.000 Yeah, he tells everybody's full name. 1.00

01:42:07.000 How great is it to see a guy like him peeking now?

01:42:09.000 I love it.

01:42:10.000 Me, too.

01:42:11.000 I love it.

01:42:11.000 Well, you know, I was the biggest Joey Diaz supporter of all time.

01:42:15.000 I would take him on the road with me when agents... 0.95

01:42:17.000 I used to have this old agent that fucking hated Joey. 0.96

01:42:20.000 And he would say, I just don't think the guy's talented. 0.97

01:42:22.000 I don't know why you're taking him with me.

01:42:23.000 You're out of your mind. 0.97

01:42:24.000 I go, you're out of your mind.

01:42:25.000 I think this guy's holding you back.

01:42:27.000 I think it makes your show look bad. 1.00

01:42:28.000 Please shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:42:30.000 You don't know what you're talking about. 1.00

01:42:31.000 Just stop.

01:42:32.000 Just stop talking.

01:42:33.000 And that guy has vanished.

01:42:34.000 That's very generous of you.

01:42:36.000 I mean, you did it with Ari.

01:42:37.000 And I love those guys.

01:42:39.000 But, I mean, it was great that you had the power and the unselfishness to help those guys' careers.

01:42:44.000 Well, one of the things about the Comedy Store, where we all work on a regular basis, we get to see guys who are good and guys who are not good, you know?

01:42:51.000 And Ari said to me once, like, when you took me on the road, you know, I wasn't funny.

01:42:55.000 I go, that's not true.

01:42:56.000 You were funny.

01:42:57.000 You just weren't funny all the time. 0.98

01:42:59.000 But the times you were funny, you were really fucking funny. 0.98

01:43:02.000 Yeah, remember Ask a Jew? 0.98

01:43:03.000 Yeah.

01:43:03.000 That was great.

01:43:07.000 He's a fucking great comic. 0.99

01:43:09.000 He just needed to develop. 0.99

01:43:11.000 I mean, it's all it is, but he had that ability. 0.99

01:43:15.000 I mean, maybe it would be like two out of three bits would be killer and one of them wouldn't be so hot, but those two were fucking killer. 0.97

01:43:23.000 Most comics are notoriously hard on themselves. 0.98

01:43:26.000 I'm very, very self-critical.

01:43:28.000 It's one of the reasons why I don't like compliments. 0.92

01:43:31.000 I dissect the shit out of my act, but it's also what makes it good. 0.97

01:43:36.000 It's because I try to cut it out and trim the fat. 0.98

01:43:38.000 So that's Ari's opinion as well.

01:43:40.000 He was looking at himself like, I wasn't good back then.

01:43:42.000 I was like, that's not true.

01:43:44.000 You had the ability.

01:43:46.000 To be very, very funny.

01:43:47.000 It just didn't always work out.

01:43:49.000 It's because you were still learning to be a comic.

01:43:51.000 So I knew that.

01:43:52.000 I knew that about Duncan.

01:43:54.000 I knew that about Diaz.

01:43:55.000 And I knew that about Ari.

01:43:57.000 Because I saw them there all the time.

01:43:58.000 I knew they had it.

01:44:00.000 They just had to do it.

01:44:01.000 Yeah, I didn't know.

01:44:01.000 I mean, I especially didn't know Duncan because he never mentioned it.

01:44:04.000 I would call him for spots.

01:44:05.000 He would take my spots down.

01:44:07.000 We always had a good time.

01:44:08.000 I always liked the kid.

01:44:09.000 He never even told me he was a comedian.

01:44:10.000 Then all of a sudden he's doing an X-rated ventriloquist...

01:44:14.000 Well, the satanic ventriloquist.

01:44:17.000 Little Hobo? 0.99

01:44:17.000 Yeah, Little Hobo is fucking awesome. 0.99

01:44:19.000 Somebody stole Little Hobo. 1.00

01:44:21.000 He had to get a new Little Hobo. 1.00

01:44:22.000 God, who the fuck would steal your puppet? 1.00

01:44:24.000 Some asshole. 1.00

01:44:25.000 Whoever you are, you fuck. 1.00

01:44:27.000 I hope Little Hobo haunts you in your sleep. 1.00

01:44:30.000 Stole Little Hobo.

01:44:31.000 How rude.

01:44:34.000 Those guys are just...

01:44:36.000 I got to see them in the beginning.

01:44:41.000 I got to see Duncan one of his first times ever on stage.

01:44:44.000 Ari, same thing.

01:44:45.000 I got to see Ari when he was essentially an open-miker.

01:44:47.000 We became friends when he was an open-miker.

01:44:49.000 And Diaz, he had had a few years in his belt in Denver and in Seattle.

01:44:53.000 He had a few years, but he was still putting it together.

01:44:56.000 But I just knew, man.

01:44:57.000 I would just see those sparks, those moments.

01:45:01.000 Remember when we were laughing at the Laugh Factory when he just plants his feet and just has that rant?

01:45:09.000 He destroyed the Laugh Factory two weeks ago.

01:45:12.000 Was it two weeks ago we did your show?

01:45:14.000 He destroyed it, but I'm telling you, it wasn't like last night.

01:45:16.000 Last night, I don't want to say the bits that he was doing because they're all new bits.

01:45:20.000 I don't want to say what the premises were. 0.99

01:45:23.000 Holy fuck, we were crying. 0.99

01:45:25.000 It was like, you know, the audience was pretty good size, you know, maybe a hundred people, but all the comics in the back of the room, we were just crying. 1.00

01:45:31.000 Just crying.

01:45:32.000 I mean, literally, tears pouring down my eyes.

01:45:35.000 I watched this whole set and then went home.

01:45:37.000 And Adam, you know, Adam said, it's so crazy.

01:45:39.000 Like, you've known that guy for so fucking long, and you still laugh that hard, and you still go in to see his sets. 0.52

01:45:44.000 He's free! 0.92

01:45:45.000 He's better.

01:45:46.000 He's free.

01:45:47.000 He's so free.

01:45:48.000 I remember he used to follow me at the Lyft, at the Comedy Store.

01:45:51.000 So we had, like, a small friendship, but we were always buddies.

01:45:56.000 And he used to get so nervous.

01:45:57.000 Yeah.

01:45:58.000 And he was so different.

01:45:59.000 He really broke through, but it shows you about this.

01:46:02.000 That doesn't happen to athletes.

01:46:04.000 You don't break through at 40 or 50. Yeah, right?

01:46:07.000 You're done.

01:46:08.000 Yeah, it's interesting because Joey's like 51 now, I think, or 52. He's never been better.

01:46:13.000 Never been better.

01:46:14.000 And didn't really catch...

01:46:17.000 For like, maybe I just want to say like five, six years ago, people started to know who he was.

01:46:21.000 And you know how I could tell the difference?

01:46:22.000 When I would take him on the road.

01:46:23.000 I'd take him on the road, and people would, like, I would do a theater or something like that, and Joey would go on stage, and people just wouldn't know who he was.

01:46:30.000 And they would start laughing after a while, but they would give a nice, polite round of applause when he got on stage.

01:46:36.000 Now when Joey goes on stage, I film it sometimes just to show people.

01:46:39.000 I put it on YouTube.

01:46:41.000 You can find it on YouTube.

01:46:43.000 Find Joey Diaz going on stage. 0.98

01:46:46.000 It's fucking insane. 0.98

01:46:48.000 I think Joey Diaz going on stage in Denver. 0.99

01:46:50.000 One of the reasons why I did a theater in Denver was because Wendy had banned Joey.

01:46:55.000 She uses him now. 0.99

01:46:56.000 They smoothed it over and he actually works a club now.

01:46:59.000 But he had some instance back in his old drug-using days. 1.00

01:47:04.000 He was out of his fucking mind. 1.00

01:47:05.000 And they banned him from the club. 1.00

01:47:07.000 You know, common shit. 1.00

01:47:08.000 Richard Pryor's... 1.00

01:47:09.000 Sam Kinison got banned from the Comedy Store about a hundred times, you know?

01:47:12.000 I know, I was there. 0.99

01:47:14.000 Joey goes on stage, and the fucking round of applause was so crazy. 0.99

01:47:19.000 I had a film. 1.00

01:47:19.000 It was insane. 1.00

01:47:21.000 They knew who he was.

01:47:22.000 And this was like...

01:47:24.000 Two years ago, maybe, I want to say?

01:47:26.000 So, it was a few years in, and he was just starting to realize that they had caught on. 0.99

01:47:31.000 So for the longest time, it's like I had been singing this guy's praises, and nobody knew who the fuck he was. 0.99

01:47:37.000 They just didn't get it. 0.97

01:47:39.000 And then finally, you find it?

01:47:41.000 It's Toronto.

01:47:41.000 It's Toronto?

01:47:42.000 Alright.

01:47:42.000 No, it's not Toronto.

01:47:43.000 That's me.

01:47:44.000 That's me.

01:47:45.000 Stop.

01:47:45.000 No, that's not Joey Diaz.

01:47:47.000 That's Joe Rogan goes on stage at Massey Hall, you silly bitch. 1.00

01:47:51.000 It's not me. 1.00

01:47:52.000 Joey can't even get to Toronto.

01:47:54.000 Trust me.

01:47:55.000 Joey.

01:47:56.000 You gotta say Joey Diaz goes on stage.

01:47:59.000 There's a video. 1.00

01:48:00.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

01:48:03.000 How dare you. 1.00

01:48:04.000 He can't get to Canada.

01:48:06.000 Yeah, I know.

01:48:07.000 They won't let him in.

01:48:08.000 Yeah, he told me.

01:48:09.000 I was trying to work with him somewhere.

01:48:11.000 Armed kidnapping.

01:48:13.000 Yeah.

01:48:14.000 He brings somebody to another room.

01:48:16.000 Kidnapping and armed robbery.

01:48:17.000 He had a machine gun.

01:48:18.000 He stole coke from somebody.

01:48:19.000 Did he really?

01:48:21.000 You know, sometimes we split the bill at the Ice House, him and I. Yeah, yeah.

01:48:25.000 Those are great shows.

01:48:26.000 A lot of fun.

01:48:27.000 I told you what he said to me the first time we did it.

01:48:30.000 I said, Joe, whatever you want to do.

01:48:31.000 You want to go on first, second, whatever?

01:48:32.000 He goes, I'll tell you what, Don Marrera. 0.98

01:48:34.000 Why don't you go to the first show and close the first show, close the second, so you don't have to follow a pig like me that late. 0.99

01:48:42.000 And then you can go to the Laugh Factory doing another set. 0.57

01:48:46.000 Not only are you making me the easy spots, but you're writing my itinerary too.

01:48:50.000 Yeah.

01:48:51.000 He's a character.

01:48:52.000 There's nobody like that guy.

01:48:54.000 I think we're very lucky.

01:48:56.000 All of us are.

01:48:57.000 Just so we know each other.

01:48:58.000 I feel very lucky that I know you.

01:49:00.000 I enjoyed that moment we had with me and him at the Comedy Store in the parking lot.

01:49:06.000 It's just fun and relaxing. 0.99

01:49:08.000 Well, you know, Brian Cowan was talking about this the other night because his wife made him go on some fucking horrendous double date. 0.98

01:49:14.000 And he's hanging out with this guy who's just apparently really obnoxious and annoying. 0.97

01:49:20.000 And his wife was like, I thought they were fine.

01:49:22.000 And he goes, do you understand that I could be right now at the comedy store hanging out with the funniest people on earth? 1.00

01:49:28.000 And I'm hanging out with this idiot who wants to brag about his boat or whatever the fuck he was talking about, some blowhard. 1.00

01:49:34.000 So what's it like to bomb? 1.00

01:49:35.000 That must really be...

01:49:38.000 Anybody ever ask you that?

01:49:40.000 Yeah.

01:49:40.000 I get that.

01:49:41.000 It's like, what's it like to buy? 0.89

01:49:42.000 How much do you think I'd fucking bomb if I work all over the world?

01:49:45.000 We gotta get Don Marrera over here in New Zealand. 1.00

01:49:48.000 I always say it's like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother. 1.00

01:49:51.000 It's the best way to describe it. 1.00

01:49:53.000 That's a nice image.

01:49:53.000 But the problem is...

01:49:54.000 I don't have that kind of time.

01:49:55.000 Maybe...

01:49:55.000 That's a lot.

01:49:56.000 We'll just be real quick.

01:49:57.000 I'm not saying to climax.

01:50:00.000 You know, you can get through 10 in a short period of time if you've got a good head movement.

01:50:06.000 We've got to get out of here.

01:50:07.000 Your car's supposed to be picking you up right now. 1.00

01:50:09.000 This motherfucker's probably angry. 0.99

01:50:11.000 I'm at the Tropicana next Saturday, 23rd. 1.00

01:50:14.000 The Tropicana in Atlantic City, ladies and gentlemen.

01:50:16.000 That's Dom Herrera's hood right next to powerful Philadelphia.

01:50:19.000 Joseph, thank you for having me on.

01:50:20.000 Thank you, my brother.

01:50:21.000 See you tonight.

01:50:21.000 Love you.

01:50:22.000 Yeah, we're going to have fun.

01:50:23.000 We're at the Ice House Sold Out tonight. 0.99

01:50:25.000 Sorry, bitches. 1.00

01:50:26.000 But we'll probably be doing another show next Wednesday night, too, because I've got a big Vegas show next Friday. 0.99

01:50:31.000 I've got to fucking tune up. 0.97

01:50:33.000 A little bit of this. 0.99

01:50:37.000 Dom Herrera, I love you, brother.

01:50:38.000 Love you, too, man.

01:50:40.000 All right, ladies and gentlemen, we'll be back tomorrow with Adam Scorgy, the producer of The Union and The Culture High, and he'll be here tomorrow.

01:50:47.000 Thank you.

01:50:49.000 That's fun, man.

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 13, 2015

Joe Rogan Experience #647 - Dom Irrera

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript