The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #798 - Alison Rosen

00:00:00.000 Do-do-do.

00:00:01.000 Do-do-do-do.

00:00:03.000 Alison Rosen.

00:00:05.000 Joe Rogan.

00:00:06.000 We made it happen.

00:00:07.000 Finally.

00:00:08.000 It's going down.

00:00:09.000 Years in the making.

00:00:10.000 Here I am.

00:00:12.000 I know.

00:00:12.000 It's one of those things where we talked about it like 30 times.

00:00:15.000 I know.

00:00:15.000 Well, thank you so much for having me.

00:00:17.000 It's my birthday, no less. 0.99

00:00:18.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:00:19.000 Happy birthday. 1.00

00:00:20.000 Thank you.

00:00:20.000 You're 21 now, right?

00:00:21.000 That's right.

00:00:22.000 Finally.

00:00:22.000 I'm going to have my first drink.

00:00:24.000 Wow, legal.

00:00:25.000 I've got so much to explain.

00:00:26.000 Well, I've been drinking for years, illegally.

00:00:29.000 Come on.

00:00:29.000 You shouldn't admit that on the internet.

00:00:31.000 How old are you for real?

00:00:32.000 Are you allowed to say?

00:00:33.000 Or are you one of those people?

00:00:34.000 No, it's obscene.

00:00:36.000 It's obscene how old I've become.

00:00:38.000 How old are you?

00:00:39.000 41. Whoa, that's not obscene.

00:00:41.000 I'm 48. Really?

00:00:42.000 Yes, that's obscene.

00:00:44.000 I'm almost 49. Feels obscene.

00:00:45.000 I'm almost 50. Happy almost birthday.

00:00:48.000 Yeah, I'll be 50 in a couple months and a year.

00:00:51.000 Whoa.

00:00:52.000 How do you feel about that? 1.00

00:00:53.000 Sexy as fuck. 0.99

00:00:55.000 I feel great. 0.99

00:00:56.000 I feel like you're making almost 50 look good.

00:00:58.000 I also feel like there's a hair stuck to my lip.

00:00:59.000 So for anyone who's watching and if there's like a fuzzball on my face, I'm sorry.

00:01:04.000 It's just a 41-year-old thing.

00:01:05.000 I don't think we have...

00:01:06.000 Our HD's not that strong.

00:01:08.000 Oh, really?

00:01:09.000 I don't think it is.

00:01:09.000 I should have just left it there then.

00:01:11.000 Whatever it is, the lint that I've collected since arriving deep in the valley.

00:01:15.000 One thing I do realize, though, as I get older, is maintaining health is like an effort.

00:01:22.000 You have to be a lot more aware of making sure you eat the right stuff, making sure you exercise on a regular basis.

00:01:31.000 Don't get out of shape, because if you get out of shape, it's way harder.

00:01:33.000 You can't get back in.

00:01:34.000 It's way harder to get back in.

00:01:36.000 Right.

00:01:37.000 Now, you are such a healthy guy.

00:01:39.000 Did you ever go through a phase when you were younger of being unhealthy?

00:01:44.000 Not really, no.

00:01:45.000 I never went through, like, a binge drinking or fat phase.

00:01:49.000 Right. 1.00

00:01:49.000 I mean, like, I've gotten overweight slightly before, but even then, I'd look at myself, I'm like, you fucking disgusting slob. 1.00

00:01:56.000 Like, get it together. 0.99

00:01:57.000 I just, um, it's...

00:01:59.000 You know, there's two schools of thought on it.

00:02:01.000 One school of thought is that if you spend too much time on your body that you're vain and it's a frivolous pursuit because you're going to die anyway and it's all pointless.

00:02:11.000 But I feel like that's kind of a cop-out because I think that you only have this one meat vehicle to get you through this life.

00:02:20.000 And if it was a car, you'd maintain it.

00:02:22.000 If you have a nice car, what do you do?

00:02:23.000 You take care of the oil, you know, you get it serviced.

00:02:27.000 You deal with all the stuff that makes it run nice.

00:02:30.000 Right.

00:02:30.000 And I think that you've got to do that with your body.

00:02:32.000 At least for me.

00:02:33.000 I have to do that with my body.

00:02:35.000 If I don't, I don't feel... 1.00

00:02:36.000 I feel like I'm slacking off in a way that's lazy and irresponsible and stupid. 0.99

00:02:44.000 I just see too many people with health consequences because they don't take care of their bodies. 0.99

00:02:49.000 I think it depends.

00:02:50.000 I think if you're saying it's self-absorbed and it's vain and it's shallow to care about your body, and if you're saying that as an excuse to allow yourself to not get into shape, Then I think that you're not really facing what's going on.

00:03:07.000 And that thing where you're like, oh, it's just shallow.

00:03:10.000 You're not really addressing what the actual resistance is.

00:03:13.000 I don't know.

00:03:14.000 I think, for me, I got into a phase where I was going to a personal trainer, and I got really into it.

00:03:22.000 And for the first time, all this stuff that I'd heard my whole life about how...

00:03:27.000 Because I'm not a sports person, so about how sports can affect the rest of your life.

00:03:31.000 I never understood that.

00:03:32.000 I never understood the mental part of it.

00:03:34.000 But for that time, and I'm not really in that place anymore, but for the time that I was super into it, I felt better.

00:03:42.000 I definitely did.

00:03:43.000 And I felt like I can put in effort in the gym and the effects...

00:03:50.000 Not in terms of what you see on my body, but how I feel are immediate.

00:03:55.000 And also that thing of like, this is a challenge for me, but I'm going to dig deep and I'm going to do it.

00:04:02.000 And I set these little goals for myself almost every day that I could overcome.

00:04:07.000 And that was kind of insane, that feeling, how good I felt when I did something that I didn't think I could do.

00:04:13.000 And it was happening, you know, multiple times a week.

00:04:16.000 Yeah.

00:04:16.000 I just think it's almost, I mean, it's not overlooked with a lot of people, but with some people it is overlooked.

00:04:21.000 And I think it's unfortunate because it's thought of as like a vain pursuit, a pursuit of vanity.

00:04:26.000 And it really restructures the way your brain functions.

00:04:30.000 When you regularly exercise and your body pumps out all those endorphins and you release all that stress and your body sweats and it just feels like...

00:04:41.000 It's flowing better.

00:04:42.000 Your decisions are better.

00:04:45.000 The way you feel about things is better.

00:04:47.000 You leave the gym.

00:04:48.000 You have a smile on your face.

00:04:50.000 You're driving your car.

00:04:51.000 The sun feels better.

00:04:52.000 Right.

00:04:52.000 Well, and that thing where it's like, I did something healthy for me today.

00:04:57.000 Can I ask a question about something that you said earlier that actually kind of ties into all of this?

00:05:01.000 You said that the times of your life where you would get a tiny bit overweight, you'd look in the mirror and you'd think like, oh, you... 0.99

00:05:07.000 I forget exactly what you said, but like, oh, you disgusting fat slob or something. 1.00

00:05:10.000 Right. 0.99

00:05:10.000 I've been thinking a lot lately about the ways that we talk to ourselves because I can be so, so brutal on myself. 0.99

00:05:19.000 And I've really, as I've gotten older, and I think we've made it clear, I'm very old.

00:05:25.000 I've tried to go more gentle on myself because it's like I don't speak to anyone the way I speak to myself.

00:05:31.000 But I do...

00:05:34.000 Well, here's the question.

00:05:35.000 Do you think there's... 0.97

00:05:37.000 Good that comes out of being really shitty to yourself.

00:05:41.000 The good is the reaction to that, where you don't like that feeling, and then you do something different. 0.99

00:05:45.000 Because I think if you just look at yourself and you look in the mirror and go, fucking awesome!

00:05:49.000 And you tuck your gut into your shirt and tuck your shirt into your pants and you just go about your day and then have a heart attack, I don't think you're gonna get the results that you really want. 0.96

00:05:59.000 I think if you want your body to work well, Mm-hmm. 0.97

00:06:23.000 I fucking tried to brush my teeth with deodorant. 0.97

00:06:25.000 I had deodorant out, and I had my toothbrush. 0.99

00:06:28.000 I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? 0.98

00:06:29.000 My brain was so scrambled from just getting hammered. 0.98

00:06:33.000 I'm like, that's just a bad feeling.

00:06:35.000 It's fun while you're doing it.

00:06:37.000 I believe there's an expression, I forget who, was it Oscar Wilde?

00:06:41.000 All things in moderation, including moderation.

00:06:43.000 Yes.

00:06:44.000 I think it's a great expression.

00:06:45.000 I think you gotta enjoy your life, but man, that feeling after indulging is...

00:06:50.000 Well, your body's just wrecked.

00:06:52.000 It's a terrible feeling. 1.00

00:06:53.000 And I think the only way to, for me at least, to move past that is to go, all right, fuck face. 1.00

00:06:58.000 No more of that stupid shit. 1.00

00:06:59.000 And then get on the right track. 1.00

00:07:02.000 See, I would find...

00:07:04.000 Back when I used to indulge in everything more, the feeling of indulging and the feeling of I'm doing something that I don't think I'm really okay with the fact that I'm doing it made me feel estranged from myself.

00:07:18.000 And then it's like I wanted to keep the party going.

00:07:20.000 There were so many nights because I don't indulge in much anymore because it was kind of getting out of hand.

00:07:27.000 And this is many years ago that I'm talking about because I've been on the planet.

00:07:30.000 A lot of years.

00:07:32.000 I'll stop with that.

00:07:35.000 That's a true podcaster.

00:07:38.000 Some people might find this annoying.

00:07:41.000 I'm not sure when I'll stop with it, but I think I'll stop with it.

00:07:44.000 But, you know, I would be out and it would be 1.30, 2.30.

00:07:50.000 The time when most people would just go home and I didn't want to go home because I didn't want to be with myself.

00:07:56.000 I just wanted to go home with whatever guy I was talking to in the moment.

00:08:00.000 Okay, so you just wanted to escape.

00:08:03.000 Yes, yes.

00:08:05.000 I wanted to escape and then I wanted to escape myself.

00:08:07.000 Wow, that's interesting.

00:08:09.000 That's a very honest way of looking at it.

00:08:11.000 I think a lot of people feel like that.

00:08:13.000 Like a lot of what the partying is, is distraction from their own problems or their own goals that they haven't tried to go after, those sort of nagging problems in their life they're not working on.

00:08:28.000 Totally.

00:08:28.000 The mind works in such a weird way where you chase after distractions sometimes with all this vigor, but you don't do the same with the actual real issues in your life.

00:08:42.000 You don't chase after them.

00:08:44.000 Right.

00:08:45.000 Because there's no immediate gratification in doing so.

00:08:49.000 Yeah, but there's not...

00:08:51.000 I mean, even the immediate gratification and chasing after distractions, it's so obvious what you're doing while you're doing it.

00:08:58.000 Not always to yourself, though.

00:08:59.000 No.

00:09:00.000 Well, I guess not.

00:09:02.000 It is if you're paying attention, but most times you're not.

00:09:04.000 Yeah.

00:09:05.000 It's weird how many different sort of like mechanisms the brain has in place to protect you from all the blind spots.

00:09:13.000 Right.

00:09:14.000 From discomfort.

00:09:15.000 Yeah.

00:09:15.000 And all the things that are wrong with your approach, you know?

00:09:19.000 Yeah.

00:09:20.000 I mean, I sort of feel like...

00:09:21.000 Well, now tell me, is this a self-absorbed way to go through the world?

00:09:24.000 I kind of feel like the point of being on this earth...

00:09:28.000 One of the points is self-awareness and to figure out what you're doing and why you're doing it and to kind of become self-actualized.

00:09:36.000 It certainly helps you be more efficient at what you're doing and also realize what it is you actually enjoy.

00:09:42.000 Yeah.

00:09:43.000 I think at the end of the day, it's an experience and it's an experience that restarts every day.

00:09:49.000 You know, you go to bed, it shuts off, you wake up and you go, here we go again.

00:09:53.000 And you assume that this is the same life and you assume that you're not just waking up in some sort of computer program that pretends that you have 41 years of memories.

00:10:09.000 Right.

00:10:35.000 I think?

00:10:47.000 Meditation is really important, too.

00:10:49.000 That's a big one that a lot of people don't like to do.

00:10:52.000 Spend time alone, by yourself, doing nothing.

00:10:56.000 Do 20 minutes a day.

00:10:57.000 Just sit down and breathe.

00:11:00.000 Sit down and think, and it will help you tremendously.

00:11:03.000 Because we're on momentum all the time.

00:11:06.000 Yes.

00:11:06.000 I actually...

00:11:08.000 Yesterday, I began to feel overwhelmed just from a bunch of stuff going on.

00:11:16.000 And in the moment, I was just like, I felt kind of shaky.

00:11:19.000 And I'm happy to say I did not go to the kitchen and try to find something to eat.

00:11:23.000 Sort of my old things that I would have done, I made myself take some deep breaths and tried to calm down.

00:11:30.000 I don't know how well it worked, but at least I felt like that was a healthy way to deal with it in the moment.

00:11:34.000 Well, I think it definitely worked, right?

00:11:35.000 Because you're talking about it, so...

00:11:37.000 That's true.

00:11:37.000 Well, I'm here today, so...

00:11:38.000 And you made it!

00:11:39.000 But you know what I mean?

00:11:40.000 Like, you're aware that you wanted to reset your thinking.

00:11:46.000 So you spent some time, and you took some deep breaths, and you reset your thinking.

00:11:49.000 I think that's real important for people, because how many times do you just get in a momentum...

00:11:55.000 You just react.

00:11:56.000 I used to date this girl. 0.99

00:11:57.000 She used to have crazy road rage. 1.00

00:11:58.000 It was hilarious.

00:11:59.000 Because she wasn't like a big girl or a dangerous girl or anything like that. 1.00

00:12:02.000 But when someone cut her off, she's like, you motherfucker! 1.00

00:12:04.000 And she would gun the gas and get beside them and swerve in front of them. 1.00

00:12:10.000 Jeez. 0.98

00:12:10.000 She was so crazy. 0.98

00:12:11.000 She's from Chicago. 0.98

00:12:12.000 Chicago people.

00:12:14.000 I'm just kidding.

00:12:15.000 But she was just really aggressive that way. 1.00

00:12:18.000 And I had to tell her, I go, you can't do that with me in the car.

00:12:21.000 I go, because we could die. 1.00

00:12:23.000 This is fucking stupid. 1.00

00:12:25.000 And she was just so caught up in the momentum of her emotions and this motherfucker thinks he can cut me off. 1.00

00:12:34.000 Bitch. 1.00

00:12:36.000 It was like this thing that she had done all the time and she had never thought about it. 1.00

00:12:42.000 Right.

00:12:42.000 And in addressing it and calming down and breathing, she's like, yeah, I guess I should probably stop doing that.

00:12:47.000 But it's this momentum of this pattern of behavior that's cut so deep.

00:12:53.000 It's such a groove that you always comfortably fall into.

00:12:56.000 Well, it's like you're...

00:12:58.000 Butter coffee.

00:12:59.000 It's that bulletproof coffee in my throat.

00:13:02.000 It's like written into your operating software.

00:13:05.000 There are certain people that are programmed to see the world in a way where it's like people are trying to screw me over and I'm not going to let that happen.

00:13:16.000 And so they'll see it everywhere, even where it isn't.

00:13:18.000 It skews the coffee in my throat.

00:13:20.000 Ahem, ahem, ahem, ahem.

00:13:21.000 I gotta stop drinking this stuff.

00:13:23.000 We should come up with a better way.

00:13:25.000 Maybe that emulsified MCT oil, maybe that's the move.

00:13:28.000 Without the butter, give it a shot. 0.84

00:13:30.000 That's the next move.

00:13:32.000 Sorry.

00:13:32.000 No, that's it.

00:13:33.000 That's what I was saying, yeah.

00:13:34.000 Yeah, I think everybody does that.

00:13:36.000 I think it's normal. 0.98

00:13:38.000 And especially if you have been fucked over before, then you start thinking, oh, it's everywhere. 1.00

00:13:43.000 Goddammit, these fucking people, they're everywhere. 1.00

00:13:45.000 Yeah, I'm not going to be blindsided again. 1.00

00:13:47.000 It's when you actually do actually get fucked over, like in a business deal or with someone who's trying to fuck you over financially or something like that. 0.99

00:13:55.000 It's very disturbing. 0.99

00:13:56.000 It's like, oh, this is a real criminal.

00:13:59.000 I'm involved with a criminal.

00:14:00.000 Someone's trying to rob me.

00:14:01.000 Has that happened to you?

00:14:02.000 Yeah, definitely.

00:14:03.000 And when it does happen, you just realize like, whoa, okay.

00:14:07.000 All right, well, some people, this is what they do.

00:14:10.000 And you have to now throw that into the mix.

00:14:12.000 Like, this is a possibility.

00:14:14.000 Some people just kind of try to steal money from you.

00:14:16.000 For me, I would need to go back...

00:14:19.000 Still affecting my throat.

00:14:22.000 Excuse me.

00:14:23.000 I would begin to think about everything and I would be like, when was the point at which this started?

00:14:30.000 And I'd have to kind of reconsider everything.

00:14:32.000 And that is my own obsession with, sort of like we were talking before, the way that I can prevent this happening in the future is to really understand how this happened now.

00:14:43.000 But I think I get a little too...

00:14:46.000 I mean, I can really, like, I can ruminate on something too much.

00:14:52.000 Yeah, I think we all can.

00:14:53.000 You know, I think also if something's important to you and you, you know, you really, you want something to work out well, whether it's a podcast you're doing or a comedy show or something like that, you can kind of obsess on things too much.

00:15:06.000 Yeah.

00:15:07.000 You can get so involved in the details that you kind of, you know, the old expression, you can't see the forest for the trees.

00:15:13.000 Totally.

00:15:13.000 But like what we were saying earlier about the, or I was saying about trying to talk to myself differently, this might make people barf because it's so hippy-dippy new age, like Stuart Smalley almost, but...

00:15:27.000 Lately, I've been thinking, like, is that a loving behavior towards myself that I'm engaging in?

00:15:33.000 So if I'm ruminating about something or obsessing about something or thinking about something that's upsetting me, like, is that, am I being loving towards myself?

00:15:41.000 And then in thinking that way, after I finish vomiting, I think, like, it allows me to actually kind of move on and, like, put those thoughts down.

00:15:51.000 Right.

00:15:51.000 Which is a pretty new thing for me because I have been at the mercy of my thoughts always.

00:15:56.000 Right.

00:15:57.000 Well, for me, I think I try to avoid a lot of negative behavior and negative thinking because if I allow it, and I always think of myself as like, okay, if I was giving myself advice,

00:16:12.000 how would I do it?

00:16:27.000 Yeah.

00:16:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:16:38.000 Making sure that I don't fuck cuz like bitch I'm right here. 1.00

00:16:41.000 I know what you're doing stupid You know don't don't do don't get dumb and I've been dumb and I think we have all been dumb and I just think All that self-love and self-help is great But not if it allows you to continue the same patterns over and over again and still love yourself. 1.00

00:16:57.000 That's yes That's where you have to really be honest and make sure that you're rigorously honest with yourself Yeah, you can still love yourself and tell yourself you're a fat fuck Sometimes that's the most loving thing. 1.00

00:17:10.000 I gently, lovingly tell myself, I'm a fat fuck. 1.00

00:17:14.000 You say it was a giant sweet smile. 1.00

00:17:17.000 That's the loving part.

00:17:20.000 It's not bad, to be honest.

00:17:22.000 You still love yourself, even if you've been eating cake all day. 0.99

00:17:25.000 Like, look, I love you, but you're going to fucking die of an insulin crash here. 0.99

00:17:29.000 But see, that's where it's like, is it loving? 0.99

00:17:32.000 Man, I'm really married to this barfy idea.

00:17:36.000 Is it loving to eat cake all day?

00:17:38.000 No.

00:17:39.000 You're not treating yourself right if you're doing that.

00:17:42.000 You know what the real problem is?

00:17:43.000 That mouth pleasure is not even that good.

00:17:46.000 Like the mouth pleasure that you get from eating cake is the first bite.

00:17:49.000 I'm thinking about that.

00:17:50.000 I know what you mean.

00:17:51.000 It's like the first bite or the second bite, maybe.

00:17:54.000 But then when you get deep into it, it's kind of sickening.

00:17:56.000 Yes.

00:17:57.000 You just keep going.

00:17:58.000 Like my kid had a birthday party the other day. 1.00

00:18:02.000 We were eating her cake and I was like, oh fucking Christ, this stuff is so disgusting. 1.00

00:18:06.000 A tiny little bit. 0.99

00:18:08.000 Because I'm like, you get into it, and especially if you don't eat a lot of cake, like after like the third or fourth bite, you're like, ugh, like this fucking pasty frosting and sugar and... 0.97

00:18:19.000 Are you one of those people who pushes all the frosting to the side and is like, oh, it's too sweet. 0.98

00:18:23.000 I can't.

00:18:24.000 I'll just have a bite of the wheat germ.

00:18:26.000 No, I go for the frosting first.

00:18:28.000 Okay, same.

00:18:28.000 Yeah, everybody does.

00:18:29.000 That's where the love is.

00:18:30.000 Although, that's true.

00:18:32.000 I gave up carbs for about a year.

00:18:34.000 All carbs?

00:18:35.000 Mm-hmm.

00:18:35.000 All carbs.

00:18:36.000 Like, I was very strict about it.

00:18:38.000 I was looking at...

00:18:40.000 I was trying not to overdo.

00:18:42.000 I was kind of trying to do like strict Atkins.

00:18:46.000 So eventually I allowed more vegetables in.

00:18:49.000 But at the beginning I was trying not to go overboard with that.

00:18:53.000 But then I stopped.

00:18:55.000 What was your response to that?

00:18:56.000 Your body's response?

00:18:58.000 At the beginning, so my story is I was pretty overweight growing up and into my 20s.

00:19:07.000 And then, I mean, I had kind of gone up and down.

00:19:09.000 And then I finally lost the bulk of it and I've kept it off for years.

00:19:12.000 But about a year ago, it started creeping back on a little bit because I'm doing IVF. I'm trying to get pregnant and I'm shooting myself with hormones all the time.

00:19:21.000 And all the things in the past, all the ways in the past that I'd kept the weight off, because it had been, you know, about 10 years of really being careful with my calories and exercising and all that, like it just wasn't working anymore. 0.91

00:19:33.000 And it was freaking me the fuck out.

00:19:36.000 So that's when I started going to a personal trainer.

00:19:41.000 And that's when It was not his advice.

00:19:45.000 I don't know what made me decide to do it.

00:19:47.000 I was like, maybe if I just cut out all carbs, that'll help.

00:19:49.000 So at the beginning, I did lose weight.

00:19:52.000 But then it no longer helped in terms of the...

00:19:56.000 Then at a certain point, I realized, oh...

00:19:59.000 The weight comes on at a certain point in the IVF cycle and then comes back off in between cycles and goes back.

00:20:04.000 And I realized that I had been freaking out, but it's just cycling on its own.

00:20:09.000 For people that are freaking out right now, in vitro fertilization.

00:20:11.000 Yes. 0.99

00:20:12.000 What the fuck is IVF? Sorry. 0.99

00:20:15.000 In vitro fertilization is where they fertilize your eggs outside of your body.

00:20:22.000 In vitro is in glass, is what it means.

00:20:25.000 And it's a way that people who can't get pregnant naturally can get pregnant.

00:20:30.000 And it involves...

00:20:34.000 It's a whole thing.

00:20:37.000 So anyway, it was affecting my weight.

00:20:40.000 I believe that now that is what was affecting my weight, but I was freaking out at the time.

00:20:44.000 So initially there was some weight loss, and then that stopped.

00:20:48.000 But I found...

00:20:51.000 For a while, I enjoyed living within very strict guidelines.

00:20:57.000 It was just easier when we go to a restaurant. 0.93

00:20:59.000 Because I used to joke that I would like to be buried in a bread basket with a fuckton of butter. 0.85

00:21:04.000 Like, bread and butter is my thing. 0.94

00:21:07.000 And...

00:21:23.000 That's what you miss.

00:21:32.000 I know!

00:21:34.000 Out of all the things you can miss?

00:21:36.000 I know.

00:21:37.000 Well, healthy choice dinners as well. 1.00

00:21:38.000 What the fuck are you doing with that processed bullshit? 1.00

00:21:42.000 I know. 1.00

00:21:43.000 I had stopped eating the processed bullshit. 1.00

00:21:44.000 God, that's all bullshit. 1.00

00:21:45.000 I missed the bullshit. 1.00

00:21:47.000 I missed the wood pulp. 1.00

00:21:50.000 What is wood pulp?

00:21:51.000 It's probably some kind of filler in there.

00:21:53.000 What do you mean?

00:21:54.000 There's wood pulp in your food?

00:21:56.000 In Parmesan cheese, I think.

00:21:58.000 What?

00:21:58.000 Didn't that come out recently?

00:21:59.000 What?

00:22:00.000 Right?

00:22:01.000 Jamie knows.

00:22:02.000 Jamie, what are you talking about?

00:22:03.000 What kind of Parmesan cheese?

00:22:05.000 In just the bottle of Kraft Parmesan cheese, it came out that a certain percentage of it is like wood shavings or something.

00:22:12.000 What?

00:22:13.000 Jesus Christ, why are they putting wood in your cheese?

00:22:18.000 At the end of the day, wood is just plants, though.

00:22:21.000 That's right.

00:22:21.000 Parmesan cheese you sprinkle.

00:22:23.000 What?

00:22:25.000 Cellulose.

00:22:26.000 Okay.

00:22:26.000 Hotly contested, but perhaps not for reasons you might think.

00:22:28.000 FDA investigation found that a Pennsylvania company, Castle Cheese Incorporated, had doctored its so-called Parmesan with a mix of cheap cheddar cheese and cellulose, also known as wood pulp.

00:22:39.000 Oh.

00:22:39.000 Well, if you say cellulose, that doesn't sound as bad.

00:22:41.000 Yeah, cellulose just sounds like fiber from plants.

00:22:45.000 Right, like plant material.

00:22:46.000 Yeah.

00:22:47.000 Hmm. 1.00

00:22:48.000 Well, there shouldn't be plant material and fucking cheese, you cunts. 1.00

00:22:52.000 Assholes. 1.00

00:22:53.000 Just go to jail for that. 1.00

00:22:54.000 Putting fucking wood and cheese. 1.00

00:22:56.000 You can't just do that. 0.99

00:22:56.000 And you can't mix cheddar cheese with wood and call it Parmesan. 0.99

00:23:01.000 Assholes. 0.99

00:23:01.000 No, it should have its own new variety name. 0.99

00:23:05.000 Yeah.

00:23:05.000 Wood pulp cheesy thing.

00:23:07.000 Right.

00:23:07.000 Just call it that.

00:23:08.000 Yeah.

00:23:09.000 People would buy it.

00:23:10.000 My mouth is watering.

00:23:12.000 Well, you're eating lean cuisine.

00:23:13.000 I'm just saying, I don't know what it is in the processed frozen dinners that I like, but that's what I like.

00:23:19.000 Sort of like when I smoked, I was like, yeah, I think it's the fiberglass in the cigarettes that I like.

00:23:23.000 When my wife was pregnant, she liked Tonino's pizza rolls. 0.99

00:23:27.000 You know, those little fucking disgusting things. 0.99

00:23:29.000 I've not had them, but I've seen them in the freezer section. 1.00

00:23:32.000 I was buying them for them. 1.00

00:23:33.000 I can't believe you're actually willing to eat this shit. 1.00

00:23:36.000 She ate healthy most of the time, but she would just want to veg out and sit there holding onto her beach ball stomach. 1.00

00:23:42.000 She would just eat Tonino's pizza rolls.

00:23:45.000 Now, how are you towards your wife and your kids in terms of...

00:23:49.000 I beat them.

00:23:50.000 I tie them up. 1.00

00:23:50.000 I do whatever the fuck I want. 1.00

00:23:52.000 I win. 0.99

00:23:54.000 In terms of...

00:23:56.000 Yeah, and in terms of being like...

00:24:00.000 Rigorously honest or letting them kind of come to their own conclusions.

00:24:04.000 Well, I don't need to do that with my wife. 0.99

00:24:08.000 She's on the ball.

00:24:10.000 She's pretty healthy, too.

00:24:12.000 But she also likes to indulge. 1.00

00:24:14.000 She's pretty balanced in terms of...

00:24:17.000 How she approaches diet and exercise and healthy eating and then occasionally indulging.

00:24:23.000 She's balanced.

00:24:24.000 Luckily, that's not an issue.

00:24:26.000 And for my kids, with kids, the big struggle is trying to keep them from eating too much sugar.

00:24:31.000 I don't want to be that guy that says you can't have sugar.

00:24:34.000 She has some kids in her class.

00:24:35.000 One of my daughters does.

00:24:37.000 This is one kid in particular that's on this insane diet like he doesn't eat any sugar There's nothing processed and the kids freaking out all the time because all around them kids are eating cake and having all these things and I feel like that can set you up psychologically So in a bad way where you develop this where you want to binge later?

00:24:56.000 Well Yeah, I think when your parents tell you not to eat, you want to eat. 0.95

00:25:02.000 When parents tell you not to be a slut, it's the first thing you want to do, right? 0.99

00:25:06.000 It's what everybody does. 0.99

00:25:07.000 Don't drink.

00:25:07.000 I can't wait to drink.

00:25:09.000 Suppression is just not good for human beings.

00:25:12.000 And so what I try to tell them is, you can have a little sugar, but you have to be aware that sugar is just not good for your body.

00:25:18.000 It tastes good, but it has consequences.

00:25:20.000 So when we'd go Halloween trick-or-treating, we'd let them have a couple of pieces of candy.

00:25:25.000 You know? 1.00

00:25:26.000 You just can't sit and eat that shit until you go into a coma. 1.00

00:25:29.000 It's not good for you. 1.00

00:25:30.000 So sometimes they repeat it, like, I don't like when I eat too much sugar.

00:25:33.000 It just makes me feel terrible. 1.00

00:25:35.000 And then sometimes, like, my youngest is fucking crazy. 1.00

00:25:38.000 My youngest is like a little barbarian. 1.00

00:25:41.000 She'll eat sugar and then run around the house roaring. 1.00

00:25:45.000 Like, she just stormed the beaches. 1.00

00:25:47.000 She, like, throws her arms back, like, rah! 0.93

00:25:50.000 And she'll, like, run around the house, like, sugared up. 1.00

00:25:52.000 I'm like, this is insane.

00:25:53.000 We just gave her rocket fuel or something.

00:25:55.000 Because you think about, like, a little tiny body, right?

00:25:58.000 My youngest is five.

00:26:00.000 She's almost six.

00:26:01.000 And she's, I don't know what she weighs, probably, like, less than 50 pounds. 1.00

00:26:04.000 So if you give her a fucking candy bar, like, how much sugar is in a goddamn candy bar? 1.00

00:26:09.000 And it's going in that tiny little body. 1.00

00:26:10.000 And she just reacts to it.

00:26:12.000 She's like, rah! 1.00

00:26:14.000 She'll just chase me. 1.00

00:26:15.000 She'll kick me. 1.00

00:26:16.000 She fucking tries to tackle me. 1.00

00:26:18.000 She just goes nuts. 1.00

00:26:19.000 She's really, really physical. 0.92

00:26:21.000 And when she's sugared up, it's super obvious.

00:26:25.000 As long as she's burning it off, I feel like let her just run around until she gets crazy and burn it off. 1.00

00:26:31.000 It's like her five-hour energy.

00:26:32.000 Yeah, much worse.

00:26:33.000 It doesn't really last five hours.

00:26:35.000 It lasts about 40 minutes.

00:26:36.000 And then there's a crash.

00:26:38.000 Like, Daddy, I don't feel...

00:26:40.000 Okay.

00:26:40.000 Daddy, I'm tired.

00:26:42.000 I just want to lie here.

00:26:44.000 It's hilarious.

00:26:46.000 Because, you know, they don't have any experience in life.

00:26:50.000 So when they taste the sugar, it tastes good.

00:26:53.000 They eat it.

00:26:54.000 They have this feeling like, oh, I have a sugar rush coming on right now.

00:26:57.000 Nope.

00:26:57.000 They don't think like that.

00:26:58.000 They just go...

00:26:59.000 I need to run!

00:27:02.000 Right now!

00:27:04.000 But, you know, I'm not 100% strict, but I do make them eat vegetables.

00:27:08.000 That's the one thing I do. 0.94

00:27:09.000 I make them eat vegetables, and I try to keep them away from shitty food. 0.90

00:27:13.000 And I just try to explain why it's good. 0.96

00:27:15.000 Like, this is why Daddy likes to eat this.

00:27:17.000 Like, they always mock me that I don't eat bread, and, you know, they like to stick things in front of my face that they eat and I don't eat.

00:27:23.000 But most of the time, I don't suppress them.

00:27:26.000 I try to just keep a health...

00:27:27.000 Like, even when they do something wrong, one of the first things that I say is, I did way worse than you.

00:27:34.000 Like, if they did something wrong, I said, I used to do that all the time when I was your age.

00:27:38.000 As a matter of fact, I think you're smarter than me.

00:27:40.000 Like, you're better at it than me.

00:27:42.000 And I always do that.

00:27:43.000 I always reinforce that every mistake you've made, I've made.

00:27:47.000 Everything you've done, I've done.

00:27:48.000 If you lied, I've lied.

00:27:49.000 Like, if I catch them lying about something, not telling the truth, I just say, look, I just want to tell you.

00:27:53.000 When I was little, I lied all the time.

00:27:55.000 And I didn't want to lie, but I didn't want to get in trouble.

00:27:58.000 And so I would just lie.

00:27:59.000 Is that true or is that a lie, though?

00:28:00.000 I did some lying.

00:28:01.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:28:03.000 Definitely.

00:28:03.000 I think every kid has.

00:28:05.000 But I just wanted to enforce in their head, I'm not going to not love you.

00:28:12.000 This is a part of life.

00:28:13.000 I think that's so great.

00:28:14.000 That's such a respectful way to raise your kids.

00:28:18.000 That's how I try to treat them like they're little human beings that I know more than they know.

00:28:22.000 I don't think of them as my kids in that like I own them.

00:28:25.000 I think of them like they're my kids in terms of I love them deeply, but not like I don't own you.

00:28:31.000 You're a little human being.

00:28:32.000 And I also think that setting them up like that gives them a certain amount of autonomy and a certain amount of independence that I think is like really critical to develop early on so that's not a giant shock when you turn 18. Yeah.

00:28:43.000 You know, like, slowly build them into this idea.

00:28:46.000 You are a little autonomous human being.

00:28:49.000 And I'm always gonna be here.

00:28:50.000 Like, if you need advice, if you need a hug, if you need, you know, you always got a place to sleep, you don't have to worry.

00:28:56.000 Like, everything's fine.

00:28:57.000 Like, don't go through life with fear and hunger.

00:29:00.000 You know, you don't have to worry about that.

00:29:02.000 You have a family.

00:29:03.000 But, you're your own thing.

00:29:04.000 Like, what are you into?

00:29:05.000 You into music?

00:29:06.000 What are you into?

00:29:07.000 You like space?

00:29:08.000 You know, what are you into?

00:29:09.000 You like reading books? 1.00

00:29:10.000 Like, what's your fucking thing? 1.00

00:29:11.000 Find your thing. 0.98

00:29:12.000 And I never had that chance as a kid, you know, and I think looking at my life like back at like the things that Happened to me that made me sort of like rebel and made me sort of reinforce the idea that I need to be independent I need to get the fuck away from all these people I need to have stop all this negative input coming from all these different directions like I sort of In having children get a chance to re-engineer what

00:29:42.000 I would have liked about my own childhood.

00:29:44.000 Did you have an oppressive upbringing?

00:29:47.000 It wasn't oppressive.

00:29:48.000 It just was, there wasn't a lot of attention.

00:29:52.000 It was like, I just, my parents really just weren't into it.

00:29:55.000 Right.

00:29:56.000 I think there's a lot of latchkey kids in our generation.

00:30:00.000 I used to just walk out the door when I was seven and wander through the neighborhood.

00:30:06.000 I did a Fisherman's Wharf magic show when I was eight years old. 0.99

00:30:10.000 Who the fuck lets their eight-year-old? 0.99

00:30:12.000 My daughter just turned eight. 1.00

00:30:14.000 One of my daughters did.

00:30:15.000 And I couldn't imagine her just walking out my house in San Francisco and wandering down the street and being by herself with no one.

00:30:24.000 I can't imagine that.

00:30:25.000 And so I would think about, like, what my parents let me do and, you know, made me independent in a lot of ways.

00:30:32.000 But God, it put me in so much danger.

00:30:33.000 There's so many times.

00:30:35.000 Yeah, I think if you're forced to be an adult when you're a child, you pay for it somehow later.

00:30:42.000 I'm sure.

00:30:44.000 I'm sure there's pros and cons.

00:30:47.000 If you can get through it all, you have a more... 0.67

00:30:51.000 Comprehensive view of the world and the dangers it provided, but I mean I was almost molested when I was like eight by some fucking creep at a library that I was hanging out at and a librarian saved me I was Looking through I was in a monster movies when I was a little kid. 0.52

00:31:05.000 I was really into like Dracula and Frankenstein shit So I was looking through these books and this guy came up to me. 0.87

00:31:12.000 He's like really weird and He said, you know, you like monster books?

00:31:17.000 And I go, yeah.

00:31:18.000 And he goes, I really love monster books.

00:31:20.000 I've got some monster books in my car.

00:31:21.000 Do you want to see them?

00:31:22.000 It's like I've got Dracula in my pants.

00:31:24.000 Exactly.

00:31:24.000 So I'm like, okay.

00:31:25.000 You know, I didn't know any better.

00:31:26.000 And so I started walking with him in the library and starts yelling at me because she had seen me there before.

00:31:31.000 And, you know, she's a real nice lady. 0.99

00:31:32.000 And she's like yelling, Joseph, you get away from that man.

00:31:35.000 He just got out of prison.

00:31:36.000 Jeez.

00:31:37.000 And the guy ran.

00:31:38.000 He ran.

00:31:40.000 And I just started crying.

00:31:41.000 I couldn't believe it. 0.99

00:31:44.000 And, you know, I remember thinking at the time, like, who the fuck just lets a little kid just wander around like they do? 1.00

00:31:51.000 Right. 0.99

00:31:51.000 At the time you thought that? 0.99

00:31:53.000 Yeah.

00:31:54.000 I remember thinking that at the time. 0.95

00:31:55.000 Like, why the fuck am I just wandering around here? 0.99

00:31:57.000 Did you tell your parents? 0.99

00:31:59.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:32:00.000 What's fucked up is my mom didn't remember it.

00:32:03.000 I talked to my mom about it recently. 0.83

00:32:04.000 She didn't remember.

00:32:05.000 I'm like, how do you not remember this guy trying to molest me when I was eight?

00:32:09.000 Right.

00:32:09.000 I got upset at her.

00:32:11.000 What was her reaction to you getting upset?

00:32:13.000 It was just that latchkey thing.

00:32:15.000 Like, yeah, you're fine.

00:32:16.000 Look, nothing happened.

00:32:17.000 You know?

00:32:18.000 Right.

00:32:18.000 It's like they had this attitude.

00:32:20.000 Well, I think for the longest time that was the attitude of like, look, I kept you physically safe, you're in clothing, you went to school, whatever it is, you know, so what's the problem?

00:32:29.000 And it's like, well, there's all the whole emotional side of things.

00:32:33.000 Yeah.

00:32:33.000 Well, I think when you look at our generation versus our parents' generation and their parents' generation, if you just go back a couple generations to like my grandparents' days, My grandparents are immigrants.

00:32:45.000 They came over on a boat from Italy and Ireland.

00:32:47.000 And when you think about what their life was like versus what our life is like today, we're barely even related.

00:32:55.000 We're so different with our access to information, with the understanding that people have about raising people, about communicating with people, about talking to yourself.

00:33:04.000 Even your reference to going to the library is anachronistic.

00:33:07.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:09.000 It is, right?

00:33:10.000 I mean, imagine you having that kind of a conversation with your parents when they were your age about loving yourself.

00:33:15.000 Am I being loving myself? 0.99

00:33:17.000 They'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

00:33:19.000 Go out there and farm. 0.99

00:33:20.000 Even I feel that way towards myself, though.

00:33:22.000 I guess I'm an old soul.

00:33:24.000 I think you're introspective. 0.91

00:33:27.000 You're looking at yourself, you know, am I being a dork? 0.85

00:33:30.000 What is this? 0.87

00:33:31.000 It's more that than anything, I think.

00:33:33.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:35.000 So you're trying to get pregnant? 1.00

00:33:36.000 Yes.

00:33:37.000 Yes.

00:33:38.000 We actually haven't transferred any of the embryos.

00:33:40.000 We've just been collecting them and they're frozen.

00:33:45.000 And we are about to start the first transfer in the next couple weeks.

00:33:51.000 Whoa.

00:33:51.000 So...

00:33:52.000 You're making up Frankenstein, baby.

00:33:54.000 That's right.

00:33:54.000 Some science involved.

00:33:55.000 I know.

00:33:56.000 I was listening to...

00:33:57.000 I know you and Whitney Cummings were talking about that.

00:34:01.000 And it is crazy.

00:34:03.000 And a weird thing is that you could have...

00:34:08.000 Let's say of all of our embryos, two of them are good and will create babies.

00:34:13.000 If they happen to be implanted at the same time, then I will give birth to twins.

00:34:17.000 But if not, and we go another round, then I could have kids a couple years apart.

00:34:24.000 You end up doing all this weird math of how many should I implant to maximize the chance of getting pregnant, minimize the chance of multiples. 0.71

00:34:32.000 I don't know.

00:34:33.000 It's weird.

00:34:34.000 They take your egg and they take your husband's sperm and they mix it up in a lab somewhere. 0.98

00:34:38.000 Yes, well... 1.00

00:34:39.000 Do they do it with lightning bolts and shit? 1.00

00:34:41.000 Mm-hmm. 0.99

00:34:41.000 They raise the table up to the sky? 0.99

00:34:43.000 Exactly, yeah.

00:34:45.000 Everything goes dark for a second and very quiet.

00:34:48.000 It's alive!

00:34:50.000 Yeah, it's exactly like that.

00:34:52.000 It's crazy that they can freeze the embryos.

00:34:54.000 That's the freakiest one.

00:34:56.000 And I think normally, or I think traditionally what they do is they take the eggs and then they take the sperm and they put it together in a Petri dish and then just kind of let it do its thing.

00:35:08.000 But for certain people, they do something called ICSI, which is, let's see if I can, it's intracytoplasma something.

00:35:18.000 Sperm injection.

00:35:19.000 So they take the sperm and they literally inject it.

00:35:24.000 And I don't know how.

00:35:25.000 They must have the tiniest little needle into the egg.

00:35:28.000 Hmm.

00:35:29.000 So it's even more minute.

00:35:31.000 Yeah, it's kind of crazy that they can do that.

00:35:33.000 I'm worried about that because what if you catch a weak load that way?

00:35:37.000 Like a weak load gets lucky.

00:35:38.000 I would always want the strong sperm to bust through the egg. 0.94

00:35:42.000 Right. 0.88

00:35:42.000 Instead to get some... 0.88

00:35:43.000 Well, I think that they're using analysis to get rid of the weak ones.

00:35:49.000 They do sperm analysis? 1.00

00:35:50.000 They do.

00:35:51.000 Oh my God, that's like the first thing.

00:35:53.000 Like Bud's camp for sperm and the weak ones, they ring the bell.

00:35:57.000 They take all the sperm, they drive them far into the mountains, they drop them off, they give them one peanut, and they say, we'll come back for you in three weeks, and if you're still here, we're going to inject you into an egg. 1.00

00:36:07.000 They give you a Swiss Army knife and a fucking piece of shoe straight and figure it out, stupid. 1.00

00:36:11.000 Right, they take away your shoelaces, and they say, you have a lot of thinking to do. 1.00

00:36:17.000 You've been very bad sperm. 1.00

00:36:18.000 It's time to make a person stupid. 1.00

00:36:20.000 No, but I get what you're saying in terms of natural selection. 0.99

00:36:26.000 IVF is circumventing all of that because it's taking a whole bunch of women who are past the age that they can get pregnant naturally and it's allowing them to get pregnant. 1.00

00:36:38.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:36:40.000 It's fucked up. 0.97

00:36:41.000 It is in a way, but if you make an awesome person that way, is it not? 0.99

00:36:45.000 Well, I mean, yeah.

00:36:47.000 There's also that argument, which is, but the people who are doing it are people who have tried to be responsible and wait until they're at a point in life when they can have kids versus like a 22 or 23 year old who, and I'm sure there's plenty of great, actually I've never met them,

00:37:03.000 but they're probably out there who've had kids that young and it all turned out well.

00:37:06.000 Mm-hmm.

00:37:07.000 They can get pregnant pretty easily, usually, but I feel like most people in their early 20s aren't really ready to have kids yet.

00:37:15.000 I just feel like we're getting emotionally ready later, but our biology is staying the same.

00:37:22.000 Yeah, 100%.

00:37:23.000 Well, that's one of the things that I always think about when I think about my mom.

00:37:26.000 My mom had me when she was 21. It means she got pregnant when she was 20. And when she was 21, she had a baby.

00:37:32.000 When I was 21, I was a fucking moron. 1.00

00:37:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:35.000 I can't imagine being forced to raise a kid when I was 21. I was so irresponsible. 1.00

00:37:40.000 I couldn't take care of myself.

00:37:42.000 And I think the natural process of people getting pregnant really young...

00:37:47.000 I mean, like, how strange is it with human beings that you're essentially able to get pregnant when you're 13?

00:37:51.000 Right.

00:37:52.000 That's crazy.

00:37:54.000 That's crazy. 1.00

00:37:54.000 That's fucking crazy. 1.00

00:37:56.000 So... 0.99

00:37:57.000 My daughter, who has just turned eight, she's got five years, she can get pregnant. 1.00

00:38:03.000 That's insane.

00:38:04.000 She's a tiny little thing, a little person, a little baby person.

00:38:08.000 Right.

00:38:08.000 And that little baby person can have a baby inside of them.

00:38:11.000 That's madness.

00:38:12.000 It's just our biology is so irresponsible in that way.

00:38:17.000 It really is.

00:38:18.000 It really is.

00:38:19.000 Yeah, it's just such a weird holdover from a time that we can't even remember when it made sense to get pregnant at 13. Well, yeah, we can't remember.

00:38:28.000 But that's the weirdest thing about biology, right?

00:38:31.000 Is that the changes that take place naturally, they occur over long periods of time, hundreds of thousands, if not millions of years.

00:38:39.000 But the changes taken place in our culture and our society over the last thousand years has been insane.

00:38:46.000 The massive amount of difference between living in 2016 versus 2016 is just, you can't even, it's barely like the same life.

00:39:00.000 Do you think the amount of change that we have recently is the same amount of change that Heather has always been historically, though?

00:39:08.000 Or do you feel like things are speeding up?

00:39:10.000 They're definitely accelerating.

00:39:11.000 They're accelerating because of technology, 100%.

00:39:13.000 It's just the world we live in today is alien compared to the world of 1,000 years ago or even a few hundred years ago. 0.98

00:39:21.000 If you went 200 years ago and showed them how people are living today, they'd be like, holy shit.

00:39:27.000 Even the crazy science fiction authors of the 1800s, Jules Verne and Orson Welles and all these crazy people that had all these great ideas about the future, they never thought of the internet. 0.87

00:39:40.000 The internet is bizarre.

00:39:42.000 The idea that it's not going to be metal spaceships that change us.

00:39:45.000 It's not going to be laser beams.

00:39:47.000 We're not going to live in the sky.

00:39:48.000 No.

00:39:49.000 Way crazier than that.

00:39:50.000 We're going to live in this one spot, but everything's going to be there for you.

00:39:54.000 Right.

00:39:55.000 Wirelessly.

00:39:55.000 And we're all gonna be connected in that way, globally.

00:39:58.000 Yeah, wirelessly. 0.99

00:39:59.000 That's the most fucked up thing. 0.98

00:40:01.000 When I was sitting at home the other day and somebody sent me a YouTube video and I was watching this crazy YouTube video. 0.99

00:40:06.000 And as I'm watching, I'm like, how bizarre is that?

00:40:08.000 Someone just sent me something.

00:40:10.000 I press it, and now here I'm watching it.

00:40:13.000 And it's playing out in front of me, like, not even two seconds after I've got the text message.

00:40:19.000 I'm watching this thing.

00:40:21.000 Yeah, I was listening to you recently talk about how you don't think that the human brain is really...

00:40:28.000 Ken really knows how to process celebrity and that's why we end up putting the Kardashians on a pedestal or something because we're biologically historically wired to follow I

00:41:01.000 don't think that the human brain knows how to deal with technology, information, the internet, all of that.

00:41:08.000 Because it's like...

00:41:16.000 I don't know.

00:41:37.000 Yeah.

00:41:38.000 Yeah.

00:41:39.000 And also one person who you ordinarily wouldn't be in contact with.

00:41:44.000 Right.

00:41:44.000 You wouldn't want to hang out with them.

00:41:46.000 You didn't like them.

00:41:46.000 They decided to start judging you.

00:41:48.000 But that's also the flip side of it is...

00:41:52.000 What you can do with your podcast is reach people that you would never contact.

00:41:56.000 You can reach the world.

00:41:58.000 And so you're going to have people reach back.

00:42:00.000 It's part of what some people like about it is the ability to comment on something.

00:42:05.000 And some of it's not valid at all.

00:42:06.000 But you're going to get criticisms that are just not valid.

00:42:08.000 They don't make any sense.

00:42:10.000 And I should say, that level of connection and that interaction is, I think, the best part of it. 0.98

00:42:16.000 And there is just this sort of dark side that comes with it of like, yeah, you're going to hear some shit you wish you hadn't heard. 0.91

00:42:22.000 But for the most part, it's amazing. 0.98

00:42:24.000 Yeah, for the most part, it's amazing.

00:42:26.000 The thing that you were talking about with the Kardashians, that was something that Neil deGrasse Tyson just Instagrammed the other day.

00:42:33.000 That was a conversation that he and I had when I did his podcast and I really firmly believe that that there's something about pointing a camera at someone and putting them on a screen that you you look at them and it hijacks your reward system the reward system that's designed to you know say if there's like some The mother of this tribe,

00:42:55.000 and she's been alive for a long time, and she has all this wisdom, and so when she talks in front of the fire, everybody sits down and listens.

00:43:02.000 Why do they listen?

00:43:03.000 Well, because she survived.

00:43:04.000 She's achieved.

00:43:06.000 She's someone who you have to pay attention to because she knows things.

00:43:09.000 And you know she knows things, so when she starts talking, you listen. 0.98

00:43:12.000 That can all be hijacked by a fucking reality TV show camera on Bravo and next thing you know it's Real Housewives and some pilled up bitch is screaming at her friend and you know like we pay attention to them. 1.00

00:43:25.000 A friend of mine was at one of the people from that Real Housewives show has this restaurant. 0.99

00:43:33.000 Is it Sir?

00:43:34.000 And does it have to do with Vanderpump Rules?

00:43:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:43:36.000 Which I've recently become obsessed with.

00:43:37.000 Yeah, that lady's a fucking nut. 1.00

00:43:39.000 Lisa Vanderpump. 1.00

00:43:40.000 They're all nuts. 1.00

00:43:41.000 They're fucking so crazy. 1.00

00:43:42.000 But anyway, when my friend was at the restaurant, she said that that lady walked in and people started losing their shit. 1.00

00:43:48.000 Like, she's here, she's here, she's here. 0.99

00:43:50.000 Well, that's probably why they're at the restaurant.

00:43:51.000 Yeah.

00:43:52.000 To see her, yeah.

00:43:52.000 Oh, yeah.

00:43:53.000 And they were freaking out.

00:43:54.000 They couldn't believe it.

00:43:55.000 They were getting their phones out.

00:43:56.000 They're looking up at her.

00:43:57.000 I'm like, this is an incredibly...

00:44:02.000 Unexceptional person.

00:44:03.000 I mean, there's nothing about her.

00:44:06.000 She holds a dog.

00:44:06.000 I mean, she has a restaurant dynasty.

00:44:07.000 She talks.

00:44:08.000 She's got restaurants. 1.00

00:44:08.000 But you know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:44:09.000 When you're listening to her talk, there's nothing that makes you compelled to listen to her.

00:44:14.000 There's no really fascinating words coming out of her mouth.

00:44:19.000 She doesn't have any skill. 0.57

00:44:20.000 She's not an artist.

00:44:22.000 She's not a singer. 1.00

00:44:23.000 There's nothing there.

00:44:24.000 Well, and then you get to the...

00:44:26.000 Sometimes I sort of get stuck in this mental eddy of like, well, what this person has created is a very watchable reality show.

00:44:36.000 Sure.

00:44:37.000 Like in terms of content, Kris Jenner...

00:44:40.000 Look at what she's created.

00:44:41.000 But I don't know.

00:44:42.000 Is that art?

00:44:43.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:44:44.000 Well, we love assholes. 1.00

00:44:46.000 People love watching assholes. 1.00

00:44:48.000 We love people screaming at each other. 1.00

00:44:50.000 We love people sniping at each other. 0.97

00:44:51.000 We love people doing shitty things to each other. 0.68

00:44:53.000 And we love scenes that last 10 seconds. 0.57

00:44:56.000 10 seconds, boom.

00:44:57.000 Cut to the next thing.

00:44:58.000 10 seconds, boom.

00:44:59.000 Cut to the next.

00:44:59.000 Like, what's happening now?

00:45:00.000 Oh, what's happening now?

00:45:01.000 They know the exact amount of time.

00:45:03.000 It's almost like they've got an algorithm.

00:45:04.000 Like, when to change the camera scene.

00:45:06.000 When to change the angle.

00:45:08.000 Yes.

00:45:09.000 Have you ever...

00:45:09.000 I'm gonna guess you have not ever seen Vanderpump Rules?

00:45:12.000 No.

00:45:13.000 I have recently become, like I said, sort of addicted to it.

00:45:17.000 And at the beginning, my husband would be like, so what is going on?

00:45:20.000 He'd wander in, like, what's going on now?

00:45:22.000 I'm like, I honestly don't even know.

00:45:24.000 It's like watching the screensaver I had in college, which was just fractals.

00:45:28.000 It's just watching beautiful tan people yell at each other.

00:45:31.000 It's mesmerizing, and it kind of calms me down, but I'm not really paying attention.

00:45:37.000 I'm just observing.

00:45:39.000 Well, I used to watch the Beverly Hills Housewives show just to get upset.

00:45:42.000 And, you know, you see these pilled up ladies yell at each other and then disappear to the bathroom. 1.00

00:45:46.000 And then they would go to the bathroom.

00:45:47.000 She's on pills! 1.00

00:45:48.000 She's on pills! 1.00

00:45:49.000 They'd bitch at each other and stuff. 0.99

00:45:51.000 And it was weird. 0.92

00:45:54.000 Like, they would try to hurt each other's feelings on camera.

00:45:57.000 It was, like, so obvious.

00:45:58.000 Yeah.

00:45:59.000 I know.

00:45:59.000 Well, that's another thing, is that...

00:46:02.000 Specifically with all of those shows, I can feel the producer slightly off camera feeding them lines.

00:46:10.000 And it's like there's this drama that in real life wouldn't...

00:46:14.000 Like, really?

00:46:14.000 Are you really that upset about that?

00:46:17.000 Because suddenly six people are upset about something that seems like not a big deal.

00:46:21.000 And I feel like that existed on paper before they did those scenes. 0.97

00:46:24.000 Well, more importantly, your entertainment has been observing fools. 0.99

00:46:28.000 Like, you've put fools on for half an hour on television. 0.99

00:46:32.000 And that now becomes what your mind focuses on. 0.98

00:46:37.000 Instead of something really, truly interesting, instead of something enlightening or something entertaining, you're watching fools reluctantly with this weird, guilty feeling. 0.86

00:46:46.000 Like, what am I doing? 0.86

00:46:47.000 Why am I watching this?

00:46:48.000 And then you realize, like, these are people that you would never want to hang out with in real life. 1.00

00:46:53.000 And here on this stupid show... 1.00

00:46:54.000 I mean, I'd like to invite them on my podcast, but I hear what you're saying. 0.99

00:46:56.000 But what's weird is, if that was a drama, if it was a drama, it was a show, and it was all completely made up, it wouldn't be nearly as interesting.

00:47:04.000 Because the narratives are really boring.

00:47:06.000 Mm-hmm.

00:47:06.000 It's like, we're going to go get chews.

00:47:08.000 We're going to go down the store together.

00:47:09.000 And Debbie needs chews. 1.00

00:47:10.000 She doesn't think she needs chews, but I'm telling her she needs fucking chews. 1.00

00:47:13.000 But I can't believe she chose those shoes. 0.99

00:47:15.000 I would not wear those shoes, but I'm not going to tell her that.

00:47:18.000 And there's that one girl who just says what's on her mind. 0.99

00:47:20.000 You know, people think she's a bitch, but she just speaks. 1.00

00:47:23.000 She keeps it real. 1.00

00:47:24.000 She keeps it real.

00:47:24.000 She speaks her mind.

00:47:25.000 I'm just going to keep it real.

00:47:27.000 I'm just going to keep it real.

00:47:29.000 She says what everyone else is afraid to say, except for the six other people who are also saying it.

00:47:34.000 We all think it, but we won't say it.

00:47:36.000 And she's the one who says it.

00:47:37.000 She'll just go right in your face. 1.00

00:47:38.000 She doesn't care.

00:47:39.000 She doesn't care.

00:47:41.000 That's Bethany for you. 0.99

00:47:43.000 But I know a couple of those people in real life, like from that show.

00:47:46.000 From Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?

00:47:48.000 And they're really sad.

00:47:50.000 Like really depressed and really sad.

00:47:52.000 And the blowback from being on that show is atrocious.

00:47:57.000 Like, there's social media blowback.

00:47:59.000 They read the comments.

00:48:00.000 There's so much hate, I know.

00:48:01.000 And they get devastated. 0.99

00:48:03.000 Like, do you remember when Kelsey Grammer's wife was on that show for one fucking season? 1.00

00:48:06.000 And she tried to, like, be, like, some... 0.98

00:48:09.000 She tried to really play it up. 0.99

00:48:10.000 And they'll fucking hate the wave, the tsunami of hate. 0.99

00:48:15.000 Well, that's the thing, I think, that kind of happens from what you're saying about, like, we're watching Fools, is you're not, like, I'm watching a great piece of... 0.99

00:48:26.000 Right. 0.97

00:48:32.000 That you're somehow better than the people you're watching.

00:48:35.000 So I think people, it's like they become punching bags. 1.00

00:48:38.000 And that must suck. 1.00

00:48:40.000 It has to suck. 0.99

00:48:42.000 Because, well, Kelsey Grammer, of course, and her were getting a divorce. 0.98

00:48:45.000 And before they got a divorce, she got on the show.

00:48:48.000 And when she got on the show, it was like really weird stuff.

00:48:50.000 Like she was hanging out with like actors and hopping on the motorcycle with them.

00:48:54.000 And he's my friend. 0.99

00:48:55.000 And they drive a good looking guy with fucking great hair. 0.99

00:48:57.000 And Kelsey Grammer's fat and gross and She's riding off. 1.00

00:49:00.000 She's kind of hot. 1.00

00:49:01.000 She used to be in Playboy. 1.00

00:49:02.000 So the whole thing was like, what is going on here? 1.00

00:49:05.000 And she just had this crazy fucking shitty attitude and was flaunting it in front of all these people's face. 1.00

00:49:12.000 But the thing is, I had met her before that and she wasn't really like that at all. 1.00

00:49:15.000 Right.

00:49:15.000 It was her.

00:49:17.000 It's this thing they do.

00:49:18.000 They feel like they have to play it up.

00:49:20.000 And then I met her.

00:49:22.000 I saw her at a party in the middle of that show when the hate was coming down. 0.99

00:49:27.000 And she looked like the weight of the fucking world was weighing on her. 0.99

00:49:31.000 Because so many people hated her. 0.99

00:49:33.000 And then she got off the show. 1.00

00:49:34.000 She was like, fuck this. 1.00

00:49:35.000 She was very smart in that way. 1.00

00:49:38.000 But Kelsey Grammer had some interview where he did. 1.00

00:49:40.000 He said, that's what she always wanted, so I gave her what she wanted.

00:49:43.000 And I knew she wasn't going to really want it.

00:49:45.000 What's what she always wanted?

00:49:46.000 Fame.

00:49:46.000 That's what she always wanted.

00:49:47.000 Because that was the whole thing.

00:49:49.000 Like, she had this little video that she did at the beginning of the show.

00:49:51.000 And the beginning of it was like, you know, I've always been in Kelsey's shadow, but it's time for me to step out.

00:49:57.000 Oh, God, that's the beginning of all those shows.

00:50:00.000 Let the world know who I am.

00:50:02.000 Let my star shine.

00:50:03.000 You know, one of those things.

00:50:05.000 And... 1.00

00:50:05.000 The fucking, just the green monster of hate that descended upon her. 1.00

00:50:12.000 You could feel it. 1.00

00:50:13.000 And I know a couple of those people that are on that show and that overwhelming negative message that you put out by being that person and the response to millions of people hating you. 1.00

00:50:26.000 Like literally millions of people saying you're a dumb cunt. 1.00

00:50:29.000 Like, it's devastating. 1.00

00:50:30.000 It's devastating.

00:50:32.000 Because people directly respond to whatever message that you're putting out there.

00:50:37.000 And that message is compelling. 0.99

00:50:39.000 That fucking Beverly Hills Housewife bitchy message is compelling. 1.00

00:50:44.000 That, like, I'm going to personify that low, petty, craven bitchiness that probably exists in all human beings. 1.00

00:50:54.000 I'm going to be the embodiment of it. 0.96

00:50:55.000 You think that that...

00:50:58.000 Like, in terms of what you put out in the universe, just brings it back to them?

00:51:01.000 I think, well, it's a distraction, obviously, right?

00:51:03.000 Those shows are a distraction.

00:51:04.000 Like all shows.

00:51:05.000 I mean, you could say that about great shows like Game of Thrones.

00:51:07.000 It's a distraction, ultimately.

00:51:09.000 It's entertaining.

00:51:09.000 And what is entertaining?

00:51:10.000 You're sitting there, and you're pretending these things are happening, and you get to just go off with them.

00:51:16.000 You get to go...

00:51:16.000 But there's something different about...

00:51:18.000 You know that Tyrion Lannister isn't really Tyrion Lannister.

00:51:22.000 When you see these people, this is them.

00:51:25.000 This is their actual...

00:51:27.000 This is their clothes they wear.

00:51:29.000 This is them talking to these other people.

00:51:31.000 There's cameras on them.

00:51:32.000 So it's this bizarre distortion of what is reality.

00:51:36.000 And also, it's been real clear. 0.96

00:51:39.000 There's a formula that's been established where if you can be the bitch on the show that makes a lot of noise and you can keep it real, you can speak your mind, that girl gets a lot of attention. 1.00

00:51:49.000 You can get a daytime talk show. 0.98

00:51:50.000 And when that girl gets a lot of attention, they keep the camera on her. 1.00

00:51:52.000 When they keep the camera on her, the other girls go, that fucking bitch is getting all this camera time. 1.00

00:51:56.000 Like, I know a couple of those girls that are outside of it. 1.00

00:51:58.000 And they'll bitch that, you know, Brandy this and that. 1.00

00:52:02.000 And that's why they're fucking paying attention to her. 1.00

00:52:04.000 But that fucking bitch and blah, blah, blah. 1.00

00:52:05.000 So they ramp it up. 1.00

00:52:07.000 They'll ramp up.

00:52:08.000 They're like, I've decided that this season I'm going to be more bitchy.

00:52:11.000 Or this season I'm going to be more forceful.

00:52:14.000 Because I've just sat back.

00:52:15.000 I'm not going to let them edit me.

00:52:17.000 They edit me.

00:52:18.000 I know what they're doing.

00:52:18.000 So what I'm going to do is I'm not going to give them anything to edit.

00:52:20.000 Everything they do, I'm going to fucking hit them like this. 0.99

00:52:22.000 This is how I feel. 1.00

00:52:23.000 You get caught up in this wave of crazy.

00:52:27.000 Right, of trying to manipulate the manipulators.

00:52:29.000 Yeah, and then you see it in their faces.

00:52:31.000 They're popping pills and drinking all the time.

00:52:34.000 And dealing with what they asked for.

00:52:37.000 They wanted this fame.

00:52:38.000 And so they get it.

00:52:40.000 But then they also get the hate part.

00:52:43.000 Craziness.

00:52:44.000 Have you seen, you know a lot of famous people, In general, have you seen anyone enjoy fame?

00:52:51.000 Because I feel like from what I've seen, it's a thing that people have to learn to manage, but it's never what they thought it was going to be.

00:53:01.000 Kevin Hart doesn't seem to have a problem with it.

00:53:03.000 Kevin Hart's an interesting guy.

00:53:05.000 Because he's a super positive guy.

00:53:07.000 Super positive, super motivated. 0.97

00:53:08.000 Even when people shit on him, he doesn't shit on them back. 0.97

00:53:11.000 He'll goof around with some comics that will go after him. 0.99

00:53:14.000 He'll mock them and make fun of them.

00:53:16.000 But he's always laughing.

00:53:19.000 He's a really, really, really ambitious guy.

00:53:22.000 So I think his level of what he's looking for, this is just part of the equation, and he just keeps going.

00:53:28.000 He wants to be an Oprah.

00:53:30.000 He wants to be a mogul.

00:53:31.000 That's his goal.

00:53:34.000 So he seems to be handling it better than anybody I've ever met.

00:53:37.000 But for most people, I think we all agree.

00:53:39.000 We've had conversations about it.

00:53:41.000 I've had a conversation about it with a bunch of different celebrities.

00:53:44.000 And one thing that everybody seems to agree is you don't want to ever get as famous as Tom Cruise.

00:53:48.000 There's like a level of fame you don't want to hit.

00:53:51.000 You don't want to be Brad Pitt.

00:53:52.000 A buddy of mine is friends with Johnny Depp.

00:53:55.000 And he says, Johnny Depp can't go anywhere.

00:53:57.000 Like, he hangs out with them.

00:53:59.000 There's these guys with earpieces that follow them everywhere.

00:54:01.000 And they were in London, staying at Johnny Depp's house.

00:54:04.000 And he went to step outside to go get some cigarettes.

00:54:06.000 And he walks outside, and there's these guys, like, standing there with earpieces on.

00:54:10.000 Do you need a ride?

00:54:11.000 Do you need to take you anywhere?

00:54:12.000 And he's like, this guy can't go anywhere.

00:54:14.000 Like, he goes to a restaurant.

00:54:15.000 He goes to a restaurant, and they swarm on him.

00:54:18.000 They swarm on him.

00:54:19.000 Whereas some people can go to a restaurant and they can look over and they go, oh, that's Doug Stanhope.

00:54:23.000 Oh, you look over, oh, that's Ron White.

00:54:25.000 And they're famous, but it's not a crazy thing to see them.

00:54:30.000 Here's a perfect example.

00:54:32.000 Me and Kevin James were filming a movie and we were in Boston and we were hanging out in his hotel.

00:54:38.000 And we're joking around and laughing.

00:54:41.000 And out the window, we're in front of this restaurant.

00:54:45.000 Tom Cruise was at this restaurant.

00:54:47.000 And we looked out the window.

00:54:50.000 We saw Tom Cruise.

00:54:51.000 We see people taking pictures of Tom Cruise.

00:54:53.000 And then we see people on the street running.

00:54:57.000 Towards the restaurant. 1.00

00:54:58.000 Fucking running. 1.00

00:54:59.000 Like, running. 1.00

00:55:00.000 Because they heard that Tom Cruise was there.

00:55:01.000 And we're watching this.

00:55:03.000 And, you know, the glass is right here.

00:55:04.000 We're pressing up against the glass so we can look at an angle.

00:55:07.000 And I stop and I go, how crazy is this?

00:55:09.000 I go, here you are.

00:55:10.000 You're a movie star.

00:55:11.000 And you're, like, creaning your neck to try to get a glimpse at Tom Cruise on the street.

00:55:18.000 Right.

00:55:18.000 At a restaurant across the street from you.

00:55:20.000 He's a king of queens right there.

00:55:22.000 But he's that famous that famous people freak out when he's around.

00:55:27.000 Like he's way too famous.

00:55:29.000 He's hit some weird, bizarre level.

00:55:33.000 Stratospheric, deity level.

00:55:34.000 Doesn't make any sense.

00:55:36.000 Yeah.

00:55:37.000 It's so weird that people do that.

00:55:39.000 Mm-hmm.

00:55:40.000 I'm not saying I'm not one of them.

00:55:43.000 If you want to be in movies, if you want to be a superstar and you want to be in those gigantic blockbusters, that happens.

00:55:51.000 It can happen.

00:55:52.000 It doesn't happen to a lot of people, but for every Samuel Jackson, there's a hundred dudes who try to be like that. 0.97

00:55:57.000 But for Tom Cruise, that is as famous as a person fucking gets, in America at least. 0.93

00:56:03.000 There's no more famous person than that guy. 0.98

00:56:05.000 So when you see that, it's compelling in some sort of strange way. 0.99

00:56:10.000 You know, even for a movie star like Kevin James, he's a fucking famous guy. 0.91

00:56:14.000 He's filming a movie, starring in the movie, looking out the window, can't believe he's seeing Tom Cruise. 0.96

00:56:18.000 It's weird!

00:56:21.000 Celebrity in some way, it's like currency.

00:56:24.000 And I don't mean for the person who is the celebrity.

00:56:26.000 I mean for the person who...

00:56:28.000 You're like, I am seeing something that most people don't get to see.

00:56:31.000 Most people only see...

00:56:33.000 In terms of most people's relationship with Tom Cruise, you see Cocktail and Top Gun and all his most recent films that I'm not naming because I don't know them.

00:56:42.000 Excuse me.

00:56:42.000 But...

00:56:44.000 Here you are just seeing him at a restaurant.

00:56:45.000 That's something that most people don't get to see.

00:56:47.000 It's like the rarity or the scarcity of it.

00:56:51.000 You know what else I was thinking in terms of what it does to our brain when you see someone's face that's huge and when you're sitting in a darkened theater and someone's face is 50 feet tall?

00:57:03.000 That kind of replicates The way your parents and all adults appear to you when you're a baby.

00:57:10.000 Like it's a baby, you're just sitting there and there's these faces that are huge and they show up and they're over you and they're gone and I don't know.

00:57:17.000 Do you know that that's what a lot of psychologists believe are the origins of alien abduction memories?

00:57:23.000 I did not know that.

00:57:24.000 They believe the origins of alien abduction memories have to do with birth.

00:57:28.000 And that's why that clinical strange setting of being pulled out of your mother's womb, of seeing the light of those in this really white, sterile environment that seems cold and harsh, and the people with the masks on,

00:57:45.000 surgical masks and big eyes, That you see these things and they become iconic in your head.

00:57:51.000 And you think of them not in terms of like a person with a mask on, But in terms of this, like, very strange distortion of reality.

00:58:01.000 And these are the first images that a person has.

00:58:03.000 That's so interesting.

00:58:04.000 A human brain when they're a baby is very, very tiny, but obviously it's still a human brain.

00:58:10.000 And so we don't really know how much data they store in terms of memories.

00:58:16.000 Right.

00:58:18.000 We don't have a context.

00:58:19.000 They can't talk about it.

00:58:21.000 Some people will claim they have certain memories from early childhood, and it might be correct. 0.99

00:58:26.000 But it also might be some sort of a rehashing of memories to the point where it's not really a memory.

00:58:34.000 Right, it's something you've heard.

00:58:35.000 Well, it's remembering how to describe a memory you once had.

00:58:39.000 Like the memory itself probably doesn't exist anymore.

00:58:41.000 You have a memory of how you told the memory and that like really sort of distorts it too.

00:58:47.000 But think of like visually, you've never seen anything. 0.65

00:58:51.000 You've been in a womb and then all of a sudden you get pulled out and you get pulled out by a guy with a fucking giant light behind him and he's got a mask on and he's looking at you and you're pulling.

00:59:01.000 All you see is eyes and his face and so They believe that gets distorted into this iconic giant head, black giant eyes, and the cold sort of clinical... 0.67

00:59:16.000 The antiseptic room, this white room with the light.

00:59:20.000 And that's why everyone has these abduction scenarios.

00:59:23.000 They all deal with medical exams that are pretty preposterous. 0.95

00:59:28.000 I mean, they're always going up your butt with stuff. 0.95

00:59:31.000 And I think that... 0.97

00:59:32.000 That's right where the aliens go.

00:59:34.000 Yeah.

00:59:35.000 I think that has to do with...

00:59:36.000 I think it's vulnerability. 0.99

00:59:37.000 Because you think about your butt and you're like, hey, get out of there. 0.98

00:59:40.000 Everybody thinks like that, right? 0.99

00:59:42.000 So I think...

00:59:43.000 That's the one thing you'd be terrified of, like if the aliens had ultimate control over you, if you couldn't move your body, what are they gonna do?

00:59:50.000 They're gonna touch my body! 1.00

00:59:51.000 They're gonna go inside my body, they're going in my butt! 1.00

00:59:53.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:59:55.000 I think that really makes a lot of sense.

00:59:59.000 I'd never heard that before, but that's really interesting.

01:00:02.000 That does make sense.

01:00:03.000 Yeah, I mean, how good do your eyes work when you come out of your mother?

01:00:07.000 Not that well.

01:00:08.000 No, everything's hazy.

01:00:10.000 Everything's hazy and weird.

01:00:11.000 Cold.

01:00:12.000 Also, you've never seen light before, so you've seen this extreme light.

01:00:16.000 It's a powerful light source because everything has to be really bright so you can really get a good look at everything and make sure you're stitching up the vag good, you know, and getting in there and looking at the baby and making sure everything's in place and then putting that baby in an incubator like, whoa!

01:00:30.000 And then if you're a boy, oftentimes circumcising.

01:00:34.000 They don't do it right there, do they?

01:00:35.000 No, I guess they wait a few days.

01:00:37.000 Still do that.

01:00:38.000 God, I get text messages or tweets all the time from people that support my stance on circumcision.

01:00:45.000 I think it's barbaric.

01:00:47.000 I do too.

01:00:47.000 It's creepy.

01:00:48.000 It's crazy.

01:00:50.000 And it's unnecessary nowadays, I believe.

01:00:53.000 100% unnecessary.

01:00:54.000 There's this nonsense that it somehow or another prevents AIDS. Like, get the fuck out of here. 0.99

01:00:59.000 There's no data. 0.96

01:01:00.000 Zero.

01:01:00.000 If you go look at the actual studies that try to back it up, they'll talk about it in third world countries.

01:01:05.000 Like, there's still no data. 1.00

01:01:07.000 You can't tell me that the same exact result couldn't be cleaning your dick. 1.00

01:01:12.000 How about just clean your dick and don't cut a baby's dick? 1.00

01:01:15.000 Right. 1.00

01:01:16.000 I know, because the amount of pain that I think the baby must feel.

01:01:20.000 Oh, well, it's also traumatic.

01:01:22.000 It's like you're taking away a certain amount of the child's freedom and decision-making really early on, and you're cutting them.

01:01:31.000 You're cutting them for no reason. 0.99

01:01:33.000 They're screaming, and a lot of babies lose their dicks, by the way. 0.99

01:01:36.000 Super common. 0.97

01:01:37.000 Infection's really common.

01:01:39.000 Babies die from it.

01:01:40.000 I mean, it's not like one has ever died from it.

01:01:42.000 A bunch die.

01:01:43.000 Right. 1.00

01:01:44.000 And there's a real problem with traditional Jewish methods because the mohel actually sucks on the penis. 1.00

01:01:52.000 I'm not making any of this up. 1.00

01:01:53.000 No, I know.

01:01:53.000 I'm just grimacing.

01:01:54.000 It's disgusting.

01:01:55.000 And they transfer herpes to the baby sometimes, and the babies die. 1.00

01:01:59.000 And not just one, but many babies have died from getting herpes from a rabbi sucking on the baby's penis. 1.00

01:02:06.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00

01:02:07.000 Yeah.

01:02:07.000 I was watching this YouTube video once of this guy defending this practice.

01:02:12.000 And he was, you know, an old rabbi and he was talking about how, you know, it's in the faith and if you believe in God and, you know, God came up with it the right way.

01:02:21.000 Does that make sense?

01:02:22.000 I don't understand the link between cutting a piece of Foreskin, or cutting the foreskin, and God. 0.75

01:02:33.000 Like, I don't, that doesn't work.

01:02:35.000 I'm a not-religious person in general, so these things often don't link up in my head, but it's like, how?

01:02:41.000 I don't, I just don't get it.

01:02:42.000 How does that have anything to do with God? 1.00

01:02:44.000 It's ancient shit. 1.00

01:02:45.000 It's back when people were stupid as fuck and didn't have any data. 1.00

01:02:48.000 It's really what it is. 1.00

01:02:49.000 It's ancient. 1.00

01:02:50.000 I want to think that we are just as stupid now as we were then. 1.00

01:02:52.000 No. 1.00

01:02:53.000 Yeah, I guess we're not.

01:02:54.000 We're not. 1.00

01:02:55.000 We're not as stupid as people that lived in the 1920s. 1.00

01:02:58.000 Try to watch a movie from like 1940 and watch how dopey people were. 1.00

01:03:03.000 Like, God, everyone was so dumb. 0.99

01:03:05.000 They didn't even know how to be in color. 1.00

01:03:07.000 They were so strange and childlike in a lot of ways.

01:03:13.000 The other thing is, they didn't have the access to information, they didn't live as long, and they didn't have anybody around them that had access to information the way they do. 0.94

01:03:22.000 For every scholar and every person who was deeply embedded in intellectual pursuits, you had millions and millions of people that just didn't give a fuck and were just trying to get by. 0.98

01:03:34.000 So I cut you off. 0.98

01:03:35.000 You were saying that you were watching a rabbi talk about the importance of circumcision? 1.00

01:03:42.000 The importance of circumcision and doing it the traditional way where you suck on the baby's penis. 0.99

01:03:46.000 He was talking about that there's antiseptic properties in saliva and it helps stop the bleeding. 1.00

01:03:53.000 Like, fuck you. 1.00

01:03:55.000 Just don't cause the bleeding. 1.00

01:03:57.000 You don't have to stop it. 1.00

01:03:59.000 I was so furious watching this asshole dressed like a wizard talking about sucking on baby dicks after they cut them. 1.00

01:04:04.000 I just wanted to beat the fuck out of them. 1.00

01:04:05.000 I really did. 1.00

01:04:06.000 Watching, I was like, you make me so angry with your stupid thinking that you're justifying cutting a baby's dick and you're talking about some dumbass old ancient bullshit that was written by morons who thought the world was flat. 1.00

01:04:19.000 And you want to continue that in 2016 because it's tradition. 1.00

01:04:23.000 It's like...

01:04:24.000 It makes me mad.

01:04:26.000 It makes me really mad. 1.00

01:04:28.000 Because you're talking about fucking babies. 1.00

01:04:30.000 If you're a grown adult and you get sucked into some stupid cult that wants to cut your dick and let that old dude suck on it. 1.00

01:04:37.000 Alright, man. 1.00

01:04:38.000 How old are you?

01:04:39.000 You're 35?

01:04:39.000 Good luck.

01:04:40.000 Don't do it.

01:04:41.000 I'd say don't do it, but good luck. 0.99

01:04:43.000 But when you do it to a baby, it just makes me fucking... 0.99

01:04:45.000 Fucking furious. 0.99

01:04:47.000 And to see this guy just encloaking himself in tradition and using it to justify these objectively barbaric practices, if you stand back and look at it and analyze it, what benefit is there? 0.99

01:05:03.000 What are the risks and what's the consequences and what are we doing here? 1.00

01:05:06.000 Are you sucking on a baby's dick, dude? 1.00

01:05:08.000 Are you talking about sucking baby dicks? 1.00

01:05:11.000 What? 1.00

01:05:11.000 How is that? 1.00

01:05:13.000 How is it real?

01:05:14.000 Like, how is that guy not in jail?

01:05:16.000 Yeah, how does that exist in this modern world?

01:05:18.000 Imagine, though, if he wasn't in a religion.

01:05:21.000 Right. 1.00

01:05:22.000 Imagine if he just liked cutting baby dicks and then sucking on them. 1.00

01:05:25.000 You'd fucking have him killed. 1.00

01:05:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:05:26.000 But the fact that he can do that, he can... 1.00

01:05:29.000 And be regarded as an elder and a scholar. 1.00

01:05:31.000 Well, he's got crazy robes on and shit. 1.00

01:05:33.000 He's got, like, gilded gold around this stupid fucking outfit that he's wearing. 1.00

01:05:38.000 And I'm like, oh my god, you fool. 1.00

01:05:40.000 Are you angry that you were circumcised, assuming you were? 1.00

01:05:44.000 No, because my dick looks perfect. 1.00

01:05:47.000 If I had a chance to do it over again, I would definitely say don't do that. 0.99

01:05:51.000 But no, it doesn't make me angry.

01:05:53.000 There's nothing I can do about it.

01:05:55.000 But it's just a foolhardy practice.

01:05:58.000 It doesn't help anybody.

01:06:00.000 Mm-hmm.

01:06:01.000 It's not like, you know, imagine if there was like an improvement that you could make.

01:06:05.000 You know, like everybody was born, unfortunately, with this flap of skin on their forehead.

01:06:11.000 But if you remove that flap of skin, you know, you can read people's minds.

01:06:15.000 You know, my God.

01:06:16.000 Oh, first in line.

01:06:17.000 Take that flap of skin off. 0.94

01:06:18.000 Let's read each other's minds.

01:06:19.000 It'd be amazing.

01:06:20.000 They found a hack.

01:06:21.000 There's like a biohack.

01:06:23.000 But that's not it.

01:06:24.000 In fact, it lessens the pleasure. 0.99

01:06:28.000 It changes the way your penis feels, allegedly. 0.99

01:06:31.000 I wouldn't know, but that's what they say. 0.99

01:06:33.000 There's a whole group of people that work to bring their foreskin back.

01:06:37.000 How do you do that?

01:06:39.000 Apparently you stretch the skin slowly over time until it regenerates a foreskin.

01:06:45.000 I didn't know that was possible.

01:06:47.000 Well, it never regenerates a real foreskin because it's always going to be folded over in some sort of a strange way.

01:06:53.000 But the reaction is that it reignites or re...

01:06:59.000 whatever it is, the mucus membranes. 0.99

01:07:02.000 So the tip of your penis... 0.97

01:07:07.000 It's supposed to have like almost like a liquid mucusy sort of membrane over it. 0.99

01:07:12.000 That's all dried out now when dudes get circumcised. 0.99

01:07:14.000 So it desensitizes your penis. 0.99

01:07:17.000 And when your penis is encased in foreskin, then the foreskin is pulled back. 0.99

01:07:22.000 It's much more sensitive and supposedly much more pleasurable. 0.85

01:07:25.000 You know, who knows if that was a part of the reason why they started doing it in the first place, or if it was a hygiene issue at the time, people didn't know that much about washing.

01:07:33.000 Who knows?

01:07:34.000 Who knows what was the initial urge?

01:07:36.000 You know, I'm sure it's under debate, but...

01:07:39.000 Did you see the headlines yesterday about how science has, they've developed this, some substance that...

01:07:49.000 Second skin. 0.96

01:07:49.000 Yeah, second skin. 0.96

01:07:50.000 Maybe they could use it for that.

01:07:52.000 Yeah, I guess.

01:07:53.000 Yeah, but that seems like it would actually do the opposite.

01:07:57.000 Well, maybe if you kept it on every day.

01:08:00.000 No, I guess you're right.

01:08:00.000 I think...

01:08:02.000 If you kept it on every day.

01:08:03.000 The thing about that second skin, though, that's interesting is that they think that they're going to be able to use it for medication.

01:08:09.000 Like for people that have psoriasis or eczema, they can put medication on and then put that second skin on.

01:08:15.000 The second skin will actually hold the medication in place.

01:08:18.000 Yes, that second skin thing's a trip. 1.00

01:08:20.000 Yeah.

01:08:21.000 I was watching, they did it to this old lady's face, and it just whoop. 1.00

01:08:25.000 What did it look like?

01:08:27.000 Like normal.

01:08:28.000 Oh, really?

01:08:28.000 It's invisible.

01:08:30.000 It's like Invisalign for your face, but better because you can kind of see Invisalign.

01:08:34.000 It's going to change the way people's faces look. 1.00

01:08:36.000 But the people that did the Joan Rivers thing that just filled their face up with rubber and stretched it all out, they're fucked. 1.00

01:08:42.000 They're fucked. 1.00

01:08:43.000 Like all the early adopters of surgery and fillers and all that craziness that people have done to their lips and... 1.00

01:08:51.000 There's this lady that I know. 1.00

01:08:53.000 Well, I don't call her monster face to her face, but there's a type of look that I call monster face. 1.00

01:09:00.000 Yeah, a lot of women have it. 1.00

01:09:02.000 Yeah, but that monster face thing, what happens is they stretch their face out so much that their mouth is way too big.

01:09:09.000 Like, their lips go way over here.

01:09:11.000 They're not supposed to go over here.

01:09:13.000 No.

01:09:13.000 But they're doing this...

01:09:14.000 Oh, because they're just pulling it all back?

01:09:16.000 They're pulling their face back so much that when they smile and they open their mouth, you start doing the Fibonacci sequence in your mind and you go, something's wrong.

01:09:24.000 Right.

01:09:24.000 Because there's a natural...

01:09:25.000 Like, your nose is the correct size for your eyes and your lips and your chin and your face.

01:09:30.000 And we all have, like...

01:09:32.000 There's a symmetry to a human face.

01:09:34.000 And there's a sequence that...

01:09:35.000 The Fibonacci sequence, you can actually...

01:09:37.000 I didn't know that Fibonacci had to do with facial features and stuff.

01:09:41.000 I've heard of Fibonacci, but I didn't realize.

01:09:43.000 It has to do with a lot of different features that exist in nature, like pine cones, nautilus shells.

01:09:49.000 I've heard it used when...

01:09:51.000 So I used to play in a band and some of my Fred's hand recording studios, and I know that it was used to figure out acoustic nodes, I think, some pattern of sound waves.

01:10:01.000 Well, Tool did a whole song with the Fibonacci sequence.

01:10:06.000 They figured out a way to incorporate the sequence into the way the lyrics are structured and the way the beats are structured.

01:10:15.000 But the ratio of a person's face gets distorted with plastic surgery.

01:10:20.000 And it's one of the things that's upsetting about people.

01:10:23.000 When you see someone, they've got crazy fake lips.

01:10:25.000 You're like, whoa, what's going on with your lips?

01:10:27.000 Or, what happened to her nose?

01:10:28.000 What is going on with her eyes?

01:10:31.000 When we change things.

01:10:33.000 What is this, Jamie?

01:10:35.000 Sequence in nature.

01:10:36.000 Oh, there it is.

01:10:38.000 So it's showing the sequence as applied to the human face.

01:10:44.000 But it's applied to everything, apparently.

01:10:48.000 But I think when you see it, that's pretty cool, you see it in sunflowers.

01:10:52.000 When you see it in human faces after surgery, I think that's one of the reasons why there's an automatic repelling response.

01:11:02.000 It's unnatural.

01:11:04.000 What I wonder is, because I feel like I'm really good at spotting plastic surgery, but I wonder how many people walk by and I don't...

01:11:12.000 Like people who have good plastic surgery where you just don't notice it and you just think they're attractive.

01:11:17.000 Like that must exist.

01:11:18.000 There's definitely some subtle plastic surgery that they've done really well.

01:11:21.000 Yeah.

01:11:22.000 Like there's some subtle facelifts and some things along those lines that...

01:11:26.000 Okay, another person I know.

01:11:28.000 I know this lady. 0.97

01:11:28.000 She's like 60 and she looks hot. 0.97

01:11:30.000 She's pretty hot. 1.00

01:11:31.000 And she's had a gang of shit done. 1.00

01:11:33.000 Maybe too much. 1.00

01:11:34.000 She maybe obsesses a little bit and nips and tucks, but you look at her, you're like, God damn, she's 60? 0.99

01:11:41.000 She looks really good. 0.98

01:11:42.000 Right.

01:11:42.000 But they do a little of this, a little of this, but then I know a monster face.

01:11:48.000 And she's got a mouth that looks like it could eat a baby's head. 1.00

01:11:52.000 She looks like a monster. 1.00

01:11:54.000 Her cheeks are huge. 0.98

01:11:56.000 Is she happy with how she looks? 1.00

01:11:57.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.99

01:11:58.000 I don't know her that well. 0.99

01:11:59.000 But her cheeks are like this.

01:12:00.000 They're all stuffed up with rubber.

01:12:02.000 They do weird stuff where it looks like they just had mouth surgery.

01:12:05.000 Yeah.

01:12:06.000 Their jaws are swollen because they feel like puffing out their face removes some of the wrinkles.

01:12:13.000 What's funny in a town that prizes being skinny so much, I see so many people, men too, have these like balloony faces because they're just filled with, I don't know if it's Botox or Juvederm, I don't know.

01:12:26.000 I have not had any of that done, so I don't really know.

01:12:30.000 But it's like, yeah, their faces, it looks like they're puffing them out.

01:12:37.000 They're filled with irritant is what it is.

01:12:39.000 Yeah, well there's an actual physical substance in there that's making their face thicker to get rid of the lines.

01:12:46.000 Yeah, all that stuff is going to go away.

01:12:48.000 They're on the verge of releasing...

01:12:51.000 There's a guy in Germany that created this procedure called Regenikine.

01:12:56.000 And Regenikine is they take your blood, they spin it in a centrifuge and they heat it up.

01:13:00.000 And then they take the...

01:13:02.000 There's like a yellow serum that gets developed in your blood.

01:13:05.000 And it's a direct response to the heat.

01:13:08.000 Your body reacts as if it's in a flu and it produces these radical anti-inflammatories.

01:13:12.000 They take these anti-inflammatories and they inject it into injured areas.

01:13:15.000 And all these athletes like Kobe Bryant and Peyton Manning.

01:13:18.000 That's so crazy.

01:13:19.000 I just read about this.

01:13:20.000 The wonderful athlete Kim Kardashian did it.

01:13:24.000 They call it a plasma facial.

01:13:25.000 Okay, that's different.

01:13:27.000 But it's still the blood and the centrifuge.

01:13:29.000 Yeah, but it's not heated up.

01:13:32.000 That's... 1.00

01:13:32.000 Bullshit? 1.00

01:13:34.000 No, no, no, no, no, no. 1.00

01:13:36.000 It's a type of plasma.

01:13:39.000 What's it called?

01:13:43.000 I forget what they call it, but it's similar.

01:13:44.000 It's similar.

01:13:45.000 I forget the procedure's name.

01:13:47.000 Something plasma...

01:13:48.000 Plasma... 1.00

01:13:49.000 Fucking... 1.00

01:13:50.000 God damn it. 1.00

01:13:51.000 Why did I not remember this? 0.98

01:13:52.000 Anyway, it's similar, but not the same.

01:13:56.000 This Regenikine thing involves heat, and it involves your blood's response to the heat, and then taking that serum and injecting it back.

01:14:02.000 My point being, the same doctor that created this procedure created a new procedure that restarts the body's production of collagen.

01:14:10.000 So what wrinkles are is your body loses its elasticity and it starts to give in and starts to get sloppy and loose and that's why people get facelifts.

01:14:19.000 Well, with his new procedure, he's going to restart your body's production of collagen.

01:14:24.000 You're going to develop collagen like a 20-year-old. 0.98

01:14:27.000 Which is fucking freaky. 0.98

01:14:29.000 Because that's all it is. 0.97

01:14:30.000 It's not something like you're asking people to...

01:14:35.000 Be able to jump 10 feet higher.

01:14:37.000 It's not insurmountable.

01:14:39.000 It's just a simple matter of the body not producing as much as something that it used to produce.

01:14:43.000 So they figured out a way to get it to do so instead of pulling your face back and stuffing it with rubber and all that stuff.

01:14:49.000 Are there health benefits to that or is that just vanity?

01:14:52.000 Because earlier we were talking about...

01:14:56.000 Is being in the gym all the time about vanity?

01:14:59.000 I would say if you're 80 and you need to look 20, that's vanity.

01:15:03.000 I mean, ask me when I'm 80, but it's like, why does everyone need to look so young?

01:15:06.000 Well, you look better when you're 20. So if you want to look better, do it.

01:15:10.000 It's really simple.

01:15:10.000 Is it vanity?

01:15:11.000 Well, is it vanity when you cut your hair?

01:15:13.000 Is it vanity when you wear nice clothes?

01:15:14.000 Is it vanity when you wash your face?

01:15:16.000 Is it vanity when you wear makeup?

01:15:17.000 I think about...

01:15:18.000 I especially used to think about that all the time because I really wanted a nose job.

01:15:23.000 For the longest time.

01:15:25.000 I never got one.

01:15:25.000 Sometimes I still look in the mirror.

01:15:27.000 Good for you.

01:15:27.000 You don't need to do that.

01:15:29.000 You have a beautiful nose.

01:15:30.000 Thank you. 1.00

01:15:31.000 That's a mindfuck. 0.99

01:15:34.000 What is a mindfuck? 1.00

01:15:35.000 Like, what's wrong with my nose? 0.99

01:15:36.000 Yes. 0.92

01:15:37.000 Yeah, and my fear is always like, well, what if I end up with some stupid tiny nose that doesn't look right on my face, and then I can't get it back, and plus, I feel like that's just going too far.

01:15:49.000 But then I think, but, you know, I had braces, so my teeth look different than they would have looked otherwise, and I straighten my hair, and I look better with straight hair, I look better with straight teeth, like, I've...

01:16:01.000 All these little things.

01:16:02.000 So why is that one different?

01:16:05.000 And it just is because it involves, you know, undergoing a procedure and I sort of don't...

01:16:11.000 Well, here's the thing.

01:16:12.000 I don't agree with doing it, but still, it's like, where do you draw the line?

01:16:17.000 If you were born with a weird hump on your nose and they straighten that out and all of a sudden you're beautiful.

01:16:21.000 Yeah.

01:16:22.000 That can happen.

01:16:23.000 That can happen.

01:16:24.000 I mean, there's people who were born with distortions.

01:16:26.000 So why is that okay, but just a nip-tuck we've decided is not?

01:16:29.000 Okay.

01:16:29.000 Well, it's not that it's not okay.

01:16:31.000 I mean, you can do whatever the fuck you want, but it's a rabbit hole. 0.99

01:16:34.000 Yes. 0.99

01:16:34.000 And if you go down that, I want to get a nose job rabbit hole, you might go, I think my eyebrows would be better if they're an inch wider. 0.99

01:16:41.000 Oh, are you saying they would be?

01:16:42.000 No.

01:16:42.000 But, you know, you'd be like, I think there's got to be a way to make my lips just a little thicker.

01:16:48.000 Well, I've thought of that, too.

01:16:49.000 I'm not looking for this, but I want this.

01:16:51.000 A tiny bit.

01:16:52.000 Just a little...

01:16:54.000 That's what stops me from starting any of that is that I don't want to be monster faced.

01:16:59.000 Yeah, you can get monster faced easy.

01:17:00.000 Because it's so easy to go like, oh yeah, you know, my upper lip is not as full as my lower lip.

01:17:04.000 Maybe I could change that.

01:17:05.000 Or like, I feel like I'm beginning to get lines here.

01:17:08.000 Maybe I could do something.

01:17:08.000 You know, it's like there's all those...

01:17:10.000 Stick some injections in there and some filler in there.

01:17:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:17:11.000 Just fucking... 1.00

01:17:12.000 If I'm a little fatter around the outside of my lips, but I don't have the wrinkles, I'll be happier. 1.00

01:17:17.000 Or like, hey, maybe some of this fat can be moved here. 0.99

01:17:19.000 Next thing you know, there's an alien up your butt. 0.99

01:17:21.000 Yeah, well, it happens if people take some of the fat out of their inner thigh and they inject it in their ass, and all of a sudden it looks like they're wearing a diaper. 1.00

01:17:27.000 I know a lady who had that done. 1.00

01:17:29.000 Really?

01:17:29.000 How about that?

01:17:29.000 Who are you hanging out with?

01:17:31.000 She's got a diaper. 1.00

01:17:31.000 I don't live where all these white people live. 1.00

01:17:33.000 All these older white people with money. 0.81

01:17:35.000 Yeah. 0.90

01:17:36.000 They just panic and start sticking stuff in their body.

01:17:39.000 But she looks like she's wearing a diaper. 1.00

01:17:40.000 She's got these little popsicle legs. 1.00

01:17:43.000 Like she doesn't... 0.98

01:17:44.000 Was she unhappy with her flat butt before? 1.00

01:17:46.000 I don't know her. 0.95

01:17:47.000 I don't know her that well.

01:17:48.000 Okay. 1.00

01:17:48.000 I just know that she had some stuff injected in her ass. 1.00

01:17:51.000 She's not the only one I know who's done it either. 1.00

01:17:52.000 I know quite a few people who've done it.

01:17:54.000 It's a bizarre practice.

01:17:55.000 Are you familiar with waist training?

01:17:57.000 I only learned about this recently.

01:17:59.000 That's another crazy thing. 0.99

01:18:00.000 But I was at the grocery store and I saw this woman with this gigantic ass, gigantic thighs, like big. 1.00

01:18:09.000 Tiny, tiny, tiny little waist. 1.00

01:18:11.000 Yeah, keep talking.

01:18:12.000 I was so turned on!

01:18:14.000 Yeah, keep talking.

01:18:15.000 No, it was very unnatural looking.

01:18:18.000 A friend of mine got with this girl once and they hooked up and they got together and they started fooling around and she had a thick waist and it freaked him out.

01:18:27.000 He said that she was boxy.

01:18:30.000 He said she went from her shoulders down to her hips and it was a straight line.

01:18:34.000 And I was like, it freaked you out?

01:18:36.000 Like how?

01:18:36.000 He goes, I had to leave.

01:18:38.000 I go, what?

01:18:39.000 I had to leave?

01:18:39.000 I go, so the geometry of her body, like the fact that it didn't go, I go, she's pretty?

01:18:44.000 And he goes, I never met the girl.

01:18:46.000 I go, she's pretty.

01:18:47.000 He goes, yeah, she's beautiful.

01:18:48.000 I go, hold on.

01:18:49.000 She's beautiful, but her body was too square? 0.99

01:18:52.000 Did you notice that before you got together?

01:18:55.000 He goes, I didn't think it would be a big deal, but when we got together, it was a big deal.

01:19:00.000 And I'm like, whoa.

01:19:03.000 Well, at least he's trying to look at the things that really matter.

01:19:07.000 What kind of woman does your friend normally... 1.00

01:19:09.000 I'm sorry I'm being so fucking judgmental. 0.99

01:19:11.000 You get angry. 0.97

01:19:11.000 I really am! 0.97

01:19:13.000 Instead of just being like a nose job or braces or nip and tuck, it's all this one thing, like the boxy body, like this fucking piece of shit. 1.00

01:19:22.000 Well, you know why? 0.99

01:19:23.000 Because I walk around with like, there's like 19 things about me I'm not into, but I'm like, oh, whatever.

01:19:30.000 People won't notice.

01:19:32.000 And then, like, I never even thought of the level of boxiness of a body being something...

01:19:37.000 I mean, I'm married, so I'm not out there trying to impress people with my body not being boxy.

01:19:43.000 I can be boxy.

01:19:44.000 I've got that freedom.

01:19:45.000 But I'm just saying, I didn't know I needed to worry about that!

01:19:49.000 Well, you don't need to worry about it unless you're hanging out with my retarded friend. 0.97

01:19:52.000 But if you were... 0.99

01:19:54.000 Well, is he retarded? 0.99

01:19:55.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:19:56.000 He's definitely retarded. 1.00

01:19:57.000 When it comes to that kind of stuff? 1.00

01:19:58.000 He's retarded when it comes to everything. 1.00

01:19:59.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

01:20:00.000 But I was just amazed that he left this girl's place because she had a boxy body. 0.99

01:20:06.000 I mean, would he have had sex with her otherwise? 0.99

01:20:08.000 Yes. 0.99

01:20:09.000 He would have stuck it in the box's box?

01:20:11.000 The box's box, yes.

01:20:12.000 I feel like that joke could have come off better.

01:20:14.000 Not happy with the execution.

01:20:17.000 Invite me back someday and I'm really going to have that one perfected.

01:20:20.000 Well, that's our first go at it.

01:20:21.000 I'll have a different face by then, but that joke will be so good.

01:20:24.000 I'll have to pretend to ignore it.

01:20:25.000 Yeah.

01:20:27.000 I remember I was in the Irvine Improv.

01:20:30.000 No, Brea.

01:20:31.000 Brea Improv.

01:20:32.000 We were in the green room and we were waiting to go on and we were just barbecued high, like really, really stoned.

01:20:39.000 And was watching TV and it was Comedy Central was on. 0.99

01:20:42.000 It was Comedy Central, one of those shows where before she died, what the fuck's her name? 0.99

01:20:50.000 Joan Rivers? 0.99

01:20:51.000 Joan Rivers.

01:20:51.000 Joan Rivers had full-on rubber face.

01:20:54.000 And she was on the screen and when you're really high, things like that just glaringly stand out.

01:21:01.000 And I just held my hand up to my face like the Home Alone kid.

01:21:04.000 I was like, oh no.

01:21:06.000 Oh, no.

01:21:07.000 Like, what is going on here?

01:21:09.000 Like, how is anybody...

01:21:10.000 How are we just, like, letting this go on? 0.99

01:21:14.000 How come someone doesn't step in and go, what the fuck are you doing? 1.00

01:21:17.000 You can't do this. 1.00

01:21:18.000 This is crazy.

01:21:19.000 Her whole head was just rubber and inflated.

01:21:22.000 Yeah.

01:21:23.000 And nothing was moving.

01:21:24.000 Nothing was moving.

01:21:25.000 The forehead wasn't moving.

01:21:26.000 The cheeks weren't moving.

01:21:27.000 I'm like...

01:21:28.000 Whoa, this is a total new kind of face that never existed before.

01:21:32.000 That we see on TV all the time.

01:21:34.000 All the time.

01:21:35.000 That always shocks me or frightens me, that idea that what if I couldn't have any expressions?

01:21:41.000 Yeah.

01:21:42.000 What if...

01:21:43.000 Couldn't do this.

01:21:43.000 Yes.

01:21:44.000 Yeah, that's normal.

01:21:45.000 You can't do that.

01:21:46.000 But that's so important, I think.

01:21:48.000 That's so important for if you're going to be on camera, having a face that displays emotion is important.

01:21:54.000 So why would you want to hobble yourself to that degree?

01:21:56.000 That's really interesting you brought this up because I was watching boxing this weekend and Canelo Alvarez fought Amir Khan and they're doing this thing now in boxing.

01:22:06.000 It's really weird.

01:22:08.000 Where when the post-fight ring announcer is interviewing the fighters, it was Max Kellerman, who's interviewing the fighters.

01:22:18.000 He's asking these questions.

01:22:19.000 They have these girls stand right there. 1.00

01:22:23.000 These really pretty girls, like stand like as if they're his friends.

01:22:27.000 They stand right next to him. 0.98

01:22:29.000 And it's so fucking distracting. 0.74

01:22:32.000 And this one girl, I don't know if she has Botox or if her face is just naturally shiny. 0.99

01:22:36.000 She looks like really young.

01:22:38.000 I don't think she has Botox.

01:22:39.000 But she's just sitting there with a smile, half expressionless.

01:22:44.000 She probably can move her face. 1.00

01:22:45.000 It's probably all in my head. 1.00

01:22:46.000 But all I'm thinking of is, her fucking head's frozen. 1.00

01:22:50.000 She's only 29 years old. 1.00

01:22:51.000 Her face isn't moving.

01:22:53.000 Young people do Botox now. 1.00

01:22:55.000 What?

01:22:56.000 How old?

01:22:57.000 Vanderpump rules.

01:22:58.000 Sorry to bring it up again.

01:22:59.000 But why would they do that?

01:23:00.000 Why would they do that if their face is not wrinkled?

01:23:02.000 According to one of the guys, it's a preventative.

01:23:06.000 Here is...

01:23:07.000 They're getting interviewed.

01:23:09.000 See the girl behind him?

01:23:10.000 Yes.

01:23:10.000 She's very pretty.

01:23:11.000 Beautiful girl. 1.00

01:23:12.000 Her fucking forehead hasn't moved in months. 1.00

01:23:14.000 That goddamn thing is frozen. 1.00

01:23:16.000 Her face looks plastic. 1.00

01:23:17.000 Does it?

01:23:18.000 To me.

01:23:19.000 This is pretty hot.

01:23:20.000 See?

01:23:21.000 That's a certain amount of plastic.

01:23:22.000 I'll tolerate.

01:23:24.000 But it was freaking me out.

01:23:26.000 I was like, why is her skin frozen?

01:23:29.000 Right.

01:23:29.000 Is that just...

01:23:30.000 See her in the back? 1.00

01:23:31.000 It's hard to tell.

01:23:31.000 Yeah.

01:23:32.000 But there's like a shininess to foreheads when they do that shit. 0.99

01:23:37.000 There's like an artificial shininess to it. 0.98

01:23:40.000 It's not even that it's pulled back, but you've zapped it.

01:23:45.000 You've zapped it and froze it.

01:23:46.000 Right.

01:23:47.000 All the little tiny micro-muscular things aren't happening.

01:23:50.000 And it's botulism.

01:23:53.000 I know. 1.00

01:23:54.000 You're injecting botulism into your fucking face to keep it from moving. 1.00

01:23:59.000 You're paralyzing your face. 1.00

01:24:00.000 Mm-hmm.

01:24:01.000 I know a lady who did it, and it went bad. 1.00

01:24:03.000 She got a cheap one done, and her eye drooped down like this.

01:24:06.000 Oh no, did it ever come back?

01:24:07.000 Yeah, six weeks later. 0.99

01:24:08.000 For six weeks, she looked like fucking Arturo Gotti. 1.00

01:24:11.000 It was like somebody had been baiting on her with jabs. 0.99

01:24:14.000 Yeah, I know of someone whose side of her mouth, and she was a newscaster. 1.00

01:24:19.000 Side of her mouth drooped for weeks, too.

01:24:21.000 But it came back.

01:24:22.000 What did she do? 0.80

01:24:23.000 She's a newscaster. 1.00

01:24:24.000 Shit. 1.00

01:24:25.000 I don't know if she went on... 1.00

01:24:26.000 I only heard about it from other people.

01:24:28.000 She was freaking out.

01:24:29.000 She was freaking out about it.

01:24:31.000 Oh, my God.

01:24:31.000 Yeah.

01:24:33.000 Fucking... 1.00

01:24:33.000 What a weird problem to have. 1.00

01:24:36.000 I injected too much botulism in the side of my face, and now I drool when I eat.

01:24:41.000 That's what...

01:24:43.000 What honestly scares me about all that stuff is the idea of something going wrong.

01:24:47.000 I just don't trust anyone enough to let them do that.

01:24:51.000 Also, when they inject the botulism, there's a lot of different levels of people that are good at it and shitty at it.

01:24:59.000 There's people that think more is better, so stick more of that stuff in there. 0.99

01:25:04.000 And just freeze the whole fucking thing. 0.99

01:25:06.000 People do it to their arms. 1.00

01:25:07.000 Did you know that?

01:25:08.000 They do it to different parts of their body.

01:25:09.000 Yeah.

01:25:10.000 I recently heard, though, about how it can be a migraine cure.

01:25:15.000 That makes sense.

01:25:16.000 And it's like 39 tiny injections in different places in your head.

01:25:19.000 And it helps with migraines.

01:25:21.000 That kind of makes sense.

01:25:22.000 If migraines are pressure and pressure is caused by tension, you release those tension.

01:25:27.000 Right.

01:25:27.000 So what do people do when they put it in their arms or why?

01:25:30.000 People don't like the way their elbows look and shit. 0.98

01:25:32.000 Oh. 0.99

01:25:32.000 Oh, that's different, Jamie. 0.99

01:25:34.000 That's the oil stuff.

01:25:35.000 Yeah, that's oil.

01:25:36.000 See with that guy?

01:25:37.000 Yeah.

01:25:37.000 Those are not real muscles.

01:25:38.000 That's something called- Oh, but it looks so real.

01:25:42.000 We're looking at a video or an image of a guy who's on something called Synthol.

01:25:47.000 And Synthol is something that people who are into bodybuilding do where they inject it into their muscles and it's oil that inflates the size of the muscle.

01:25:57.000 It doesn't change the strength of the muscle, but it makes your muscles like blow up and look complete.

01:26:02.000 Look at that guy with the red t-shirt on.

01:26:03.000 Look at these guys.

01:26:04.000 Like look at this. 0.99

01:26:07.000 They inject their muscles and make them fucking enormous. 0.99

01:26:11.000 And not just a little bigger, way bigger than normal. 0.99

01:26:14.000 No, it's really gross looking.

01:26:17.000 Well, it doesn't look real at all.

01:26:18.000 No.

01:26:19.000 It's crazy.

01:26:20.000 But it's a form of body dysmorphia where these guys think it looks good.

01:26:25.000 You know?

01:26:25.000 It's like...

01:26:26.000 When a girl gets size 78 double E tits, they get crazy. 1.00

01:26:32.000 They start thinking that that's the way to go, and it never looks big enough for them. 0.97

01:26:36.000 And they just want to get bigger and bigger and bigger.

01:26:38.000 It's like anorexics, bodybuilders.

01:26:41.000 Body dysmorphia is a real thing.

01:26:43.000 It's like what you were saying, looking at your own nose.

01:26:45.000 You're like, just change this and do something with it.

01:26:48.000 You stare at it long enough, you start finding things you don't like about it.

01:26:52.000 You just go through the looking glass, and everything gets distorted.

01:26:56.000 I kind of think almost...

01:26:59.000 It really seems that almost all women have a certain amount of body dysmorphia. 1.00

01:27:04.000 I know I certainly do, especially having been pretty overweight and then now whatever I am and then, you know, it's like I don't know how to regard myself in the mirror.

01:27:12.000 And by the way, I don't need anyone to tell me how to regard myself unless it's positive.

01:27:17.000 Well, you're circumventing comments.

01:27:19.000 Well, I just realized I was sort of inviting some stuff.

01:27:23.000 Thank you, but no thank you.

01:27:25.000 But yeah, most women in this culture don't really have a sense of what they look like.

01:27:33.000 I think there's also an issue with improvement in general.

01:27:37.000 I think that also can be applied to people that just get way too rich and way too successful.

01:27:42.000 It can be applied to looking at your own body, looking at your mind, looking at your face.

01:27:49.000 Your face in particular, you can improve the way you look, right?

01:27:54.000 You can wear makeup, you can change your hairstyle, and when you can do something, you're always never sure when you're done.

01:28:01.000 So if you're making a painting, how hard is it to make a painting and walk away?

01:28:06.000 No, I'm just going a little more.

01:28:08.000 And the process of improvement, you can get caught up in it where you lose your objectivity and you can't see it the way other people can see it.

01:28:19.000 And I think that is a big part of what body dysmorphia is.

01:28:23.000 Yeah.

01:28:24.000 Perfectionism.

01:28:25.000 Yeah, we have this desire to improve things, right?

01:28:28.000 I think I'm going to renovate my house. 0.98

01:28:32.000 The next thing you know, you're going fucking crazy and tearing walls down and rewiring things. 0.98

01:28:36.000 What is that? 0.99

01:28:38.000 Tweaking, right.

01:28:39.000 It's like this thing where you can't just appreciate.

01:28:41.000 You have to constantly change things.

01:28:44.000 And if that's applied to your face, Or your waist, with the waist training that you're about to get into, where they wear those corsets and suck themselves in and compress their organs and also hinder organ function. 0.96

01:29:00.000 It can fuck with the way you're... 0.98

01:29:01.000 Because you're not... 0.99

01:29:02.000 Everything's not supposed to be fucking jammed in like that. 0.99

01:29:05.000 You can change the shape of your organs. 0.97

01:29:07.000 It's just soft tissue.

01:29:09.000 If you wear a corset enough...

01:29:11.000 I saw a guy with a corset the other day.

01:29:13.000 Really?

01:29:13.000 Where?

01:29:14.000 Where?

01:29:14.000 Well, I'm assuming he was a guy because he had a beard, but in this day and age, you're not allowed to assume that anymore.

01:29:19.000 He was at Universal City Walk, or the park, you know, the rides, and he had a pink corset on and Birkenstocks.

01:29:31.000 It was a dude.

01:29:32.000 Such mixed messages, because the Birkenstocks are like, I'm going to just be comfortable.

01:29:37.000 The corset's like, no, I'm not.

01:29:39.000 I think his message was, this is how he likes to dress.

01:29:43.000 But it was a pink corset and it was stuffed into this thing and then he had wacky hair and a beard and kind of women-y clothes.

01:29:52.000 Some parts of the clothing he was wearing were women's.

01:29:55.000 Like the corset?

01:29:56.000 Yeah.

01:29:57.000 The shirt as well was like a woman's shirt. 1.00

01:30:00.000 It was very odd.

01:30:01.000 Just sounds like an uncomfortable ensemble.

01:30:04.000 I don't know what kind of childhood he had, but maybe he's just going to fight that to the day he dies.

01:30:09.000 I don't understand what some people like.

01:30:14.000 I don't like some things that other people like.

01:30:17.000 I don't know what's going on in their head when they look at something and they go, that looks amazing.

01:30:22.000 But some people, that is what they like.

01:30:26.000 For him, maybe it's that. 0.99

01:30:28.000 People that like to dress up like furries, What is it about putting on a fucking giant mascot outfit of a squirrel that really gets your rocks off? 0.99

01:30:40.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:30:40.000 I don't get it, but I don't think I have to. 0.99

01:30:44.000 No.

01:30:45.000 You don't have to.

01:30:47.000 In terms of things like fetishes, I don't know that someone can...

01:30:54.000 Understand the mindset of someone who's into that.

01:30:57.000 I feel like that is so baked into your operating software, to use that term again, that it's like, I don't know that if I were to explain it, someone else would get it.

01:31:09.000 I don't think that's like that.

01:31:11.000 I think that's more like, I like the smell of vanilla or I don't like the smell.

01:31:14.000 Or it turns my stomach.

01:31:16.000 Right.

01:31:16.000 What's weird when you find out that some fetishes are just sort of burned into your mind at a very young age when you're sexually maturing like Dr. Chris Ryan is a friend of mine has been on the podcast before he was talking to me about children especially boys when they're in a certain level of puberty like I think it's like ages between 11 and 14 any sort of sexual encounters that they have during those age can almost permanently Mm

01:31:47.000 -hmm.

01:31:51.000 Mm-hmm.

01:32:05.000 They become attracted to men blowing them for like forever.

01:32:10.000 It becomes like a weird fetish.

01:32:13.000 It's imprinted.

01:32:14.000 I forget the term he used. 0.98

01:32:16.000 But is he suggesting that therefore then they're gay or they're not gay, they just are into dudes blowing them? 0.98

01:32:21.000 Exactly. 0.99

01:32:22.000 That's what he's suggesting. 0.94

01:32:23.000 I mean, I'm sure there's all sorts of, there's both, but I think what he's saying is that some men can be even attracted to gay porn or attracted to the idea of guys blowing guys and not be gay, which is, you know, we don't like to, 0.74

01:32:38.000 we like to make things very clean the way we categorize things.

01:32:41.000 We like to have like very clean and obvious categories.

01:32:45.000 Right, but if we're all on a spectrum, then the categories break down for different people.

01:32:50.000 I forget what term he used about this imprinting.

01:32:54.000 I think that younger people are much more comfortable with the fluidity of sexuality and with everything.

01:33:02.000 I mean, I remember when I was in college, There was a fair amount of girls making out with girls, but in front of guys. 0.64

01:33:13.000 Like, look at me, I'm so wild, I'm making out with a girl.

01:33:15.000 And I feel like that's now...

01:33:18.000 You know what?

01:33:18.000 I actually don't know.

01:33:19.000 I was going to say, I feel like that happens all the time now, but I sound like a blue hair or something.

01:33:23.000 I don't actually know.

01:33:24.000 I think people are experimenting with the idea of...

01:33:29.000 Doing things that are outside of the confines of normal patterns.

01:33:34.000 And because they don't like who their parents are and they don't want to be like them, so they want to be able to rebel.

01:33:39.000 One of the best ways to rebel is to exhibit behaviors or indulge in behaviors that are forbidden or they're outside of patterns.

01:33:48.000 Right.

01:33:49.000 There's this girl at the comedy store, one of the waitresses, was telling me about her friend She said it was hilarious the way he said it because he said, I know I'm not gay because I've had sex with guys and I didn't like it.

01:34:03.000 And she said, I think that was one of the most heterosexual things that a guy could say.

01:34:07.000 And we were laughing.

01:34:08.000 I go, I guess so, right? 1.00

01:34:10.000 I'm like, you don't really know if you like sucking a dick until you suck a dick. 1.00

01:34:14.000 And that's what he was saying. 1.00

01:34:15.000 He's like, I didn't know. 0.96

01:34:16.000 He goes, I had sex with a guy. 0.99

01:34:18.000 I blew him. 0.98

01:34:18.000 I didn't like it at all. 0.98

01:34:20.000 And I'm never doing it again.

01:34:24.000 I appreciate his commitment to finding out, to not prejudging.

01:34:30.000 I think that people did that in the 70s in particular.

01:34:35.000 There was a bunch of rock stars that experimented with gay sex, like Pete Townsend did it, and Mick Jagger and David Bowie supposedly did it. 0.87

01:34:44.000 I think it was common that people were experimenting with gay sex, Boundaries. 1.00

01:34:50.000 And they were challenging where those boundaries are, where they begin and where they end.

01:34:55.000 And we also know that, like, homosexuality in particular was very, very common a long time ago.

01:35:01.000 You know, even pedestry, you know, that's a word, right?

01:35:07.000 Pedestry, isn't it? 1.00

01:35:09.000 Fucking kids? 1.00

01:35:10.000 Yeah, fucking kids. 1.00

01:35:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:35:12.000 Being a pederast.

01:35:13.000 Yeah.

01:35:14.000 That was super common.

01:35:17.000 Pederasty?

01:35:17.000 Yeah.

01:35:17.000 Is that the word maybe?

01:35:18.000 One of those.

01:35:19.000 It's somewhere in...

01:35:19.000 Pedophile.

01:35:20.000 We're so close to the... 0.55

01:35:21.000 Yes.

01:35:21.000 The word.

01:35:22.000 Pedophiles. 0.99

01:35:23.000 There's a difference between being a pederast and a pedophile. 0.95

01:35:26.000 One of them is they get attracted to it. 0.56

01:35:28.000 One of them is they engage in it.

01:35:30.000 Interesting.

01:35:31.000 But that was super common, like really common, amongst like really respected people, you know, like Socrates, Plato.

01:35:39.000 There's a lot of people that were, they acknowledged that they had young boyfriends, like little tiny young people. 0.99

01:35:46.000 It's fucked. 0.99

01:35:47.000 But back then it wasn't fucked. 1.00

01:35:49.000 And homosexuality through, I mean, the Greeks and the Romans, and they constantly engaged. 0.99

01:35:56.000 And homosexual behavior. 0.89

01:35:58.000 That's weird about, like, depictions of them in modern media.

01:36:02.000 They don't indulge in that.

01:36:04.000 Like, that's, like, not a part of, like, the movie 300. You know what I mean?

01:36:08.000 Right. 0.99

01:36:09.000 And a bunch of dudes buttfucking each other. 1.00

01:36:10.000 But if we're led to... 0.98

01:36:13.000 You're right.

01:36:13.000 Yeah.

01:36:14.000 Why is there not someone on set who's, like... 0.99

01:36:17.000 More butt-fucking. 1.00

01:36:18.000 Yeah, we've gone over the texts. 0.99

01:36:21.000 It seems like we're not showing an ample amount of butt-fucking amongst dudes. 0.97

01:36:26.000 What's interesting is that it could have been so accepted and then there could have been such a change where up until recently it's like people who were truly gay did not feel comfortable being gay. 0.98

01:36:39.000 You know, that it could change that much.

01:36:41.000 I wonder if it's cultural.

01:36:43.000 I don't know.

01:36:44.000 It could be religion, but it could very well be what did you grow up with.

01:36:50.000 I think a lot of what people are is what did you grow up with.

01:36:54.000 If you look at the variations, you talk about the spectrum of cultural behaviors that exist in human beings.

01:36:59.000 It's wide and varied and in some places extremely bizarre.

01:37:05.000 And so you look at, like, isolated tribes in particular, and you look at some of their strange practices.

01:37:11.000 Like, there's this group in New Guinea.

01:37:14.000 They call them the semen warriors of New Guinea. 0.93

01:37:17.000 And one of the things they do is they take young boys away from their mothers very early on.

01:37:22.000 They live in these bachelor groups. 0.95

01:37:24.000 And it's all just child rape. 0.99

01:37:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:37:27.000 I mean, and they think that the only way a young boy can grow up and develop is if he ingests semen. 0.99

01:37:35.000 Yeah, it's fucking crazy. 0.99

01:37:37.000 And this has been going on for thousands of years apparently, this isolated tribe that does this. 1.00

01:37:43.000 And these are like fierce warriors who fucking kill their enemies and eat them and shit. 0.99

01:37:48.000 A lot of cannibalism exists in some isolated tribes, especially around New Guinea for some strange reason. 1.00

01:37:55.000 What I would think would be fascinating would be talking to the person who escaped that.

01:38:00.000 Assuming there are.

01:38:01.000 I mean, they must.

01:38:03.000 The tribes must shed members occasionally.

01:38:06.000 And then where do they go and what do they do?

01:38:08.000 Well, I mean, in a lot of ways, it's cult behavior.

01:38:12.000 I have a friend who used to be in the Moonies.

01:38:14.000 I know a dude who grew up a Mooney.

01:38:17.000 I know a dude who grew up a Christian scientist, a Jehovah Witness. 0.60

01:38:21.000 I know a couple of Jehovah Witnesses.

01:38:22.000 Me too.

01:38:22.000 Former Jehovah's Witnesses.

01:38:23.000 Ooh, that's weird, man.

01:38:25.000 That's a weird one.

01:38:26.000 Yeah.

01:38:26.000 And my friends who are Jehovah's Witnesses, they are no longer practicing, but their families still are.

01:38:33.000 Oh, jeez.

01:38:33.000 And that creates all sorts of problems.

01:38:34.000 Like my friend...

01:38:37.000 Who her mom didn't come to her wedding because I forget because what something about her wedding wasn't Jehovah's Witness approved.

01:38:48.000 So her mom couldn't go.

01:38:51.000 Jesus Christ.

01:38:52.000 Yeah.

01:38:53.000 How specific mom. 0.88

01:38:55.000 Yeah.

01:38:56.000 Alright, I have a Joe Rogan question.

01:38:57.000 I have noticed that you post a lot of images that show the brutality of nature.

01:39:05.000 Yeah.

01:39:07.000 And I'm wondering, what about that aspect of nature appeals to you?

01:39:11.000 Well, it's not even just the brutality of nature, just nature in general.

01:39:14.000 Those photos that I have over there that...

01:39:17.000 What's such a dude's name?

01:39:19.000 CJM Photography.

01:39:20.000 CJM underscore photography sent us.

01:39:23.000 Those are these wolves in Yellowstone.

01:39:26.000 I just think...

01:39:26.000 I just am fascinated by wildlife.

01:39:30.000 See those wolves?

01:39:31.000 They're incredible.

01:39:32.000 They're amazing, right?

01:39:33.000 Yeah.

01:39:34.000 There's the actual photo itself.

01:39:36.000 I'm just really, really fascinated by wildlife.

01:39:40.000 And for whatever reason, wild predators fascinate me more because they're scary.

01:39:45.000 And just because the way they live is so explosive and dynamic and...

01:39:53.000 And final, you know, like when the image of the bear that I posted the other day, it was eating the sheep and pulling the fetus.

01:40:00.000 Yeah, the fetal sheep that it pulled from a carcass.

01:40:03.000 It killed the sheep and then was pulling the fetus out of its body.

01:40:07.000 It's like, that is just so ruthless and brutal.

01:40:11.000 There's something about that aspect of nature that's just insanely...

01:40:18.000 When I say attractive, I don't mean I love it.

01:40:21.000 I'm like, yeah, eat it up.

01:40:23.000 Eat it up.

01:40:24.000 I'm excited by it.

01:40:25.000 You're drawn to it.

01:40:25.000 I mean, I'm drawn to it and compelled to view it and fascinated by the fact that these animals exist with us on this planet alongside us right now in the wild.

01:40:38.000 And it's one of the more amazing aspects about North America.

01:40:43.000 North America has these wildlife preserves, these places like Yellowstone, these state and national parks, where they have these animals that are wandering around.

01:40:56.000 And any given time, you can go to Yellowstone and you can see bison and wolves and bear.

01:41:04.000 And they don't mean whether you're there or whether you're not there.

01:41:07.000 That is how they live.

01:41:09.000 They live in the same way they've lived for millions of years.

01:41:11.000 In this really barbaric, raw, natural world where it's just about breeding and killing animals.

01:41:18.000 And trying to keep the numbers as high as possible while riding it out until the alpha male gets too old to defend its territory and then gets forced out and eventually dies and freezes to death.

01:41:30.000 And it's this intense, long-running cycle.

01:41:34.000 I'm just really, really fascinated by wildlife in general.

01:41:39.000 Do you think that...

01:41:43.000 Because I wondered if there's an element of it that you feel like people don't face that that's our true nature to a degree and what we come from.

01:41:55.000 Because I can post nature images and it can be like, look at these puppies.

01:41:59.000 Look at a puppy befriending a duckling.

01:42:01.000 That's what I post.

01:42:02.000 It's not really nature, though.

01:42:04.000 Well, natural images.

01:42:05.000 I'm saying like, you know, there's...

01:42:07.000 People often don't focus on the stuff that you're presenting.

01:42:11.000 It's like, you know it's there, but it's like, I don't want to think about that.

01:42:13.000 It's icky.

01:42:14.000 It makes me uncomfortable.

01:42:16.000 Do you delight?

01:42:19.000 Is there a part of you that wishes people would recognize that that is a reality more?

01:42:24.000 No.

01:42:25.000 I mean, yes, for sure.

01:42:26.000 But that's not why I'm putting it up.

01:42:28.000 I'm putting it up just because it's compelling to me. 0.99

01:42:30.000 When I see things that are cool, I'm just like, look at this fucking wolf. 0.99

01:42:33.000 This is wild. 0.99

01:42:34.000 Look at that.

01:42:34.000 And I feel compelled to put it up.

01:42:36.000 But I think our life, the way we live in cities and in urban areas, is insanely filtered in terms of our interactions with the rest of the world.

01:42:48.000 Especially when we're consuming things that come from the outside.

01:42:53.000 And then it comes, not just as far as animals, but even plant life, even just gardens and nature.

01:43:03.000 I think we buy too much vegetables from the store.

01:43:06.000 We buy too many vegetables from a box, from a shelf, and we stick it in a plastic bag and we drive it away.

01:43:14.000 I think we would all do ourselves a lot of good if we grew some.

01:43:18.000 We kind of understood this process like I grow vegetables and I put them in a salad and I chop them up and you know and cook them and eat them and there's something Incredibly satisfying about being there for the entire process knowing that this is a seed I put in the dirt I put the fertilizer up at the water and here it is in a salad and There's a connection to your food To this the life form that you're consuming itself in that way that I don't think you get any

01:43:48.000 other way and I think I think that the filter that we've created by civilization by Supermarkets by restaurants and things like that.

01:43:57.000 I think it's unhealthy because I think it keeps us from a true complete understanding of our position in this whole thing right that that bear is The only difference between that bear and the space that you're in right now is just distance.

01:44:11.000 Like, that bear could be right over there.

01:44:14.000 I mean, it's wandering around on the earth.

01:44:16.000 It doesn't have fences around it.

01:44:17.000 It's just distance that keeps it from being in Woodland Hills walking down the street.

01:44:22.000 That's really all that stops it.

01:44:25.000 It's terrifying.

01:44:25.000 Yeah, it's got its own environment.

01:44:27.000 It's got its own range.

01:44:29.000 And so it stays in that range and it eats the animals that are in that range.

01:44:32.000 But not even just terrifying, just the idea that that is a life form that coexists with us.

01:44:37.000 And our life form, we have figured out a way to isolate it in these very strange tribal systems, in these communities and civilizations and cities.

01:44:48.000 Industry, yeah.

01:44:50.000 And so that's the most appealing thing about wildlife and wild predators, especially predators, because that's what we're afraid of the most.

01:44:56.000 We're afraid of being consumed by one of these things that just consumes.

01:45:01.000 They're consuming machines.

01:45:02.000 They're just walking through the woods looking for something to consume.

01:45:06.000 And that's what they do. 1.00

01:45:07.000 They try to fuck and they try to kill things to eat them. 1.00

01:45:10.000 This is so bizarre that that's all going on right now constantly all the time. 1.00

01:45:15.000 But most of our interactions with animals are puppies, dogs, or cat.

01:45:21.000 Hey, sweetie, here's a can of food. 0.68

01:45:23.000 Open the can. 1.00

01:45:23.000 Don't even think about ground up fucking chickens that got stuffed into that can. 1.00

01:45:27.000 We're weird. 1.00

01:45:28.000 We're weird.

01:45:29.000 And I think...

01:45:29.000 We're disconnected.

01:45:31.000 100%.

01:45:31.000 Yeah.

01:45:32.000 But I'm engrossed in it.

01:45:35.000 I'm just constantly watching nature documentaries and paying attention to articles about it.

01:45:41.000 And I'm fascinated by it.

01:45:43.000 Are you interested in desensitizing yourself to horrific images?

01:45:50.000 Like, I've had people on my podcast before.

01:45:52.000 It's usually people who came up in tech who...

01:45:56.000 We're good to go.

01:46:17.000 I think it's a really negative feeling to watch like a reporter get his head cut off by the Taliban or something like that.

01:46:22.000 It's a really negative feeling that I don't want.

01:46:24.000 I remember I watched this ISIS video, one of the last ones that I watched, of these guys shooting these guys.

01:46:30.000 They had them face down.

01:46:32.000 They shot them all. 0.96

01:46:33.000 And you see their bodies reacting to the bullets and then they climb over this guy and they cut his head off. 0.71

01:46:38.000 And I'm watching them dig into this guy's neck with this knife and pull his head up and yell, Allah Akbar, and hold it up.

01:46:45.000 And I remember thinking, as I'm watching that, like, okay, I get it.

01:46:48.000 I get it.

01:46:49.000 I'm not watching these anymore.

01:46:50.000 I get it.

01:46:51.000 I know those guys exist.

01:46:52.000 I've got it in my database.

01:46:53.000 It's there. 0.99

01:46:54.000 I don't need to be feeling like shit all day for the rest of the day thinking, like, how the fuck does everything go so bad that someone's making a YouTube video gunning people down and cutting their head off with a pocket knife? 0.99

01:47:05.000 Like, it's just... 1.00

01:47:07.000 What? 0.99

01:47:10.000 You know that that guy lived to be 30-whatever years old before he's shooting this guy and cutting his head off.

01:47:16.000 What is his experiences in his life that led him to be at the point where he wants to project this horrific image to the rest of the world to put fear and terror into the eyes of the beholders?

01:47:29.000 What is it that he's trying to do?

01:47:30.000 What has gone wrong?

01:47:32.000 Right, what's he trying to say?

01:47:33.000 And again, it's what you were saying about the spectrum.

01:47:36.000 In the spectrum, there's horrific behaviors versus beautiful behaviors.

01:47:41.000 There's this broad...

01:47:43.000 And I think there's something to be said for knowing the darkness.

01:47:49.000 Just so that you can understand.

01:47:51.000 Like, this is also in the mix.

01:47:53.000 This is also in the equation. 0.93

01:47:54.000 Don't look for it everywhere, because it'll fucking freak you out. 0.93

01:47:58.000 Yeah. 0.93

01:47:58.000 But knowing that it's there, it's probably better. 0.93

01:48:01.000 Yeah, don't pretend it doesn't exist.

01:48:02.000 Yeah.

01:48:03.000 Because I think if you pretend it doesn't exist, that means that you pretend it doesn't exist in yourself. 1.00

01:48:09.000 And then all of a sudden you're getting drunk and being an asshole. 0.99

01:48:12.000 Yeah, a friend of mine sent me an article about this girl who went over to Syria to try to love her way through the country, and she was raped and killed really quickly. 1.00

01:48:23.000 And when he said it to me, I remember reading this article and thinking, like, why would someone be so naive that they think they could just go and hug all these people and wander through this land, and then she's gang-raped and killed by these Muslim guys.

01:48:38.000 And it's just... 0.97

01:48:41.000 There's a lot of people that don't want to believe that some people had a really shitty upbringing. 0.97

01:48:49.000 They had a shitty deal. 0.96

01:48:51.000 They were born in a terrible part of the world. 0.90

01:48:53.000 They were exposed to horrific things very early on, and their programming is...

01:48:57.000 It's ugly.

01:48:58.000 It's dark and ugly and filled with trauma and pain and suffering and violence. 0.67

01:49:03.000 And that is who they are.

01:49:05.000 But that is a reality.

01:49:06.000 That's why the people that are total 100% anti-military, good luck with all that.

01:49:12.000 Good luck with it, because what you're saying is you hope for the compassion of all these people in the world that it matches up with yours.

01:49:20.000 Well, guess what?

01:49:20.000 It doesn't.

01:49:21.000 Because there are parts in the world where these people are 30 years old, and for 30 years they have been exposed to horrific violence, and that is what they do.

01:49:30.000 And unless they die, this is just how they behave, and you are going to run into them, and most likely they're going to enact horrific violence on people you know or on you.

01:49:41.000 There's a lot of people like that.

01:49:43.000 That exists.

01:49:44.000 I used to be a total pacifist growing up, so when I was young.

01:49:51.000 And, you know, now I recognize that that's unfortunately a beautiful but naive way to go through the world because you just – it's just – it's not realistic to have no military and to think that you never need it because you do. 0.81

01:50:06.000 You need to be able to show strength and you need to be able to be protected and you need to crush bullshit when it happens in different places. 0.86

01:50:14.000 And I hate that though. 0.97

01:50:16.000 Yeah.

01:50:17.000 I don't love having to have come to that conclusion.

01:50:19.000 I prefer the idea that you can just hug people and make a difference.

01:50:25.000 It'd be beautiful, and it works in small groups.

01:50:28.000 It works in some places.

01:50:29.000 But look at North Korea.

01:50:31.000 You've got a dictatorship. 1.00

01:50:32.000 You've got some evil fuck who's running an entire country, and he keeps people entirely under his thumb. 1.00

01:50:39.000 I mean, literally an entire country under this guy's thumb. 1.00

01:50:43.000 Think about what's going on right now in the Congo.

01:50:45.000 Think about what's going on right now all throughout the darker aspects of the world where people are poor and there's violence everywhere.

01:50:54.000 There's a lot of places in the world today that are the apocalypse.

01:50:58.000 They're there.

01:51:00.000 Like, there's a crazy Vice piece on Liberia.

01:51:03.000 I don't know if you ever go to Vice.

01:51:05.000 Do you ever read Vice.com?

01:51:06.000 Yeah.

01:51:07.000 Jesus Christ, they have this video on Liberia, and this guy, they call him General Butt Naked, because he would go into fights naked, and he was part of this...

01:51:18.000 Civil war that was going on in Liberia.

01:51:19.000 But he was a cannibal. 0.90

01:51:20.000 He killed babies from these neighboring tribes. 1.00

01:51:23.000 He would go over and kill the children and eat their heart. 0.99

01:51:26.000 And they thought that eating the piece of a child's heart would protect you in battle. 1.00

01:51:32.000 They would cover themselves with the blood of these innocent children and run through these fucking neighborhoods. 1.00

01:51:38.000 It just... 1.00

01:51:39.000 Horrific, horrific stuff.

01:51:41.000 And that's going on right now.

01:51:42.000 Liberia right now is a terrifying, terrifying place. 0.99

01:51:47.000 And if it happened in Los Angeles, you'd say, holy shit, the apocalypse is here. 0.99

01:51:52.000 The apocalypse is here on Earth. 0.98

01:51:55.000 It's just not in Woodland Hills.

01:51:57.000 It's not in Studio City.

01:51:58.000 It's not in Beverly Hills.

01:52:00.000 But it's here.

01:52:01.000 It's on Earth. 0.99

01:52:03.000 Yeah, sometimes I'll, like, that, the awareness of how much fucked up shit is happening all over the place is when I am tuned into that frequency, like, I feel very overwhelmed and just like, fuck, I don't know what to do with that. 0.96

01:52:18.000 Not that I have to do anything, but I mean, I don't know what to do with that, because... 0.93

01:52:23.000 Like, on my show, my show is twice a week, and on a Thursday show, I've started featuring...

01:52:29.000 I have a friend of mine who's a dog trainer, and she goes to specifically the Downey Shelter, but other shelters...

01:52:48.000 I think?

01:53:05.000 I think when it says, is no longer available.

01:53:08.000 And I used to just think, oh, someone adopted that dog.

01:53:10.000 It's like, no, that dog got put down.

01:53:12.000 And so now that I'm aware of all this, I find I get emotionally attached to each dog that I don't personally know.

01:53:19.000 And I'm overwhelmed with the sadness of that.

01:53:23.000 And then I think, like, this is nothing compared to the horrendous awfulness on every level.

01:53:29.000 It's hard to...

01:53:30.000 That thing of, like, I want to make the tiniest difference in one little life...

01:53:35.000 It's easy for me to just feel overwhelmed to try to even be doing anything because there's always something so much worse.

01:53:44.000 Yeah, that's a good way of describing it.

01:53:45.000 There is always something so much worse.

01:53:49.000 But I think in some weird way that also makes us appreciate when things are good. 0.54

01:53:54.000 And that's one of the more unique aspects of today is that you can pay attention to some of the horrific parts of the world and go, wow, we are so fucking lucky that we're not trapped in North Korea. 0.81

01:54:05.000 We're so lucky that we're not living in the Congo. 1.00

01:54:08.000 We're so lucky that I mean, my friend Justin, he builds wells in the Congo, and he goes to the Congo and he's there for like six months at a time.

01:54:18.000 Just got malaria for the second time.

01:54:20.000 And he's, I mean, he's just a gem of a human being.

01:54:25.000 And he is part of this charity called Fight for the Forgotten, where he goes and helps these pygmies build water wells and maintains them for them and stuff like that. 0.98

01:54:37.000 But this guy's experience when he talks about the horrific plight of these people and all the gone through and all the persecution they've experienced, it just really, you leave and you want to be nicer to people.

01:54:51.000 You want to You listen to him talk and you listen to his experiences and you, one, have hope because a guy is willing to leave Dallas, Texas and fly down to the Congo and become a part of these people's lives and try to help them and elevate them.

01:55:05.000 So there's all this hope for humanity in that.

01:55:07.000 This person that has no real connection with these folks other than just meeting them once and then falling in love with their tribe.

01:55:14.000 That is possible, but it also makes you realize, like, God, we're looking for problems today.

01:55:20.000 We're looking for things to be...

01:55:22.000 Should I fix my nose?

01:55:23.000 What should I do?

01:55:24.000 You know what I mean?

01:55:25.000 But things could be so much worse.

01:55:28.000 And again, it comes back to that spectrum and the spectrum of information that we can access today.

01:55:34.000 It's almost...

01:55:35.000 I mean, the brain is really not...

01:55:37.000 It's not really available...

01:55:41.000 To tune in to all these different parts of the world all the time.

01:55:44.000 And so you could...

01:55:45.000 It's so easy to lose focus.

01:55:46.000 It's so easy to lose perspective.

01:55:49.000 It really is.

01:55:50.000 I just...

01:55:50.000 I went to France a couple weeks ago, a week ago.

01:55:55.000 Did you go to Paris?

01:55:56.000 I did.

01:55:56.000 Were you scared?

01:55:59.000 No.

01:55:59.000 We originally were going to go in December, and we rescheduled.

01:56:04.000 Even though I know that the chances of anything actually happening are so small.

01:56:09.000 And it's almost that thing of like, I'm not that special that something's going to happen to me, you know?

01:56:13.000 But I think there just is that.

01:56:15.000 After the attack, we started thinking, maybe this is, you know, why were we going in the winter anyway?

01:56:20.000 Everyone says it's not the best time to go, so let's just postpone it.

01:56:23.000 Because we had always been debating, should we go in December or April?

01:56:27.000 But then after...

01:56:29.000 I wasn't scared once we made the decision to go, but I wondered, are we making the wrong decision?

01:56:35.000 But once I was there, I was absolutely...

01:56:37.000 I also moved to New York shortly after 9-11, and once I was there, I was not scared.

01:56:43.000 I feel like for me, the fear is more in contemplating going there.

01:56:48.000 But anyway...

01:56:51.000 Being there, being in another country where my daily thoughts aren't like, oh, I've got to check Twitter all the time and I've got to do this, like whatever the bullshit of my daily life is.

01:57:02.000 Having that instead be replaced with, I'm just trying to remember how to say this word and trying to communicate with people and hoping they can understand me and looking at all this beautiful art and everything that you do.

01:57:17.000 It really, upon coming back, I'm finding readjusting into my daily routine is more difficult and I don't want to. 0.93

01:57:25.000 I don't want to go back to Caring so much about minute bullshit.

01:57:31.000 I feel like that's kind of the gift of travel, not local travel, not small trips, but the gift of going to another country or being around people who speak a different language, is that it kind of takes your brain and treats it like a snow globe. 0.92

01:57:45.000 And then everything kind of gets readjusted.

01:57:47.000 And you remember that there's so much more than whatever it is you've been waking up and thinking about.

01:57:53.000 Yeah.

01:57:53.000 Also that their world is so vastly different.

01:57:57.000 The language is different.

01:57:58.000 The sounds they make are different.

01:57:59.000 Their traditions are different.

01:58:01.000 Their customs are different.

01:58:03.000 The food they eat is different.

01:58:04.000 The neighborhoods they walk down and live in are different.

01:58:07.000 Their established patterns are just different. 0.98

01:58:10.000 And then when you experience those different patterns and different cultures and different cities, I think it makes you just go, oh yeah, it's a big fucking world.

01:58:20.000 Right, because it's so easy to think that your life is very similar to the life that everyone else is living.

01:58:30.000 I was thinking, and by the way, it's not like I was in the rainforest or something.

01:58:35.000 I recognized I was in a place that, all things considered, is actually pretty similar to where we are, but we went out to Giverny one day and sort of drove through the countryside.

01:58:46.000 What's that?

01:58:46.000 Was it Giverny?

01:58:47.000 That's where Monet lived and what he painted.

01:58:51.000 It's his house and there's the gardens that he painted.

01:58:54.000 Oh wow, you can go visit his house?

01:58:56.000 It's really cool.

01:58:58.000 But I was thinking, what if you just lived out here?

01:59:03.000 What is that life like?

01:59:05.000 You're in the countryside.

01:59:09.000 What do they do?

01:59:10.000 What goes on?

01:59:11.000 To me, it feels like very little goes on.

01:59:15.000 But that's probably not true.

01:59:16.000 Well, I think it's similar to the drive up to San Francisco.

01:59:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:59:20.000 You ever drive up to San Francisco, you take the five, and you stop at one of those, like, farm towns, and you're like, what in the fuck? 0.99

01:59:27.000 Yeah. 0.67

01:59:27.000 You know, and I want to go to a restaurant, talk to some kid who's, like, washing dishes, and go, hey, man, you grew up here? 0.67

01:59:32.000 What's it like?

01:59:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:59:33.000 What the fuck did you do? 1.00

01:59:34.000 What do you guys do? 1.00

01:59:34.000 How much meth do you guys have? 1.00

01:59:36.000 Like, what's going on?

01:59:37.000 That's where people get, like, super desperado in drugs, too, because they're just choking for it.

01:59:42.000 Some kind of crazy escape.

01:59:44.000 You'll just drive into some town of 3,000 people in the middle of nowhere and you're like, what?

01:59:48.000 Yeah.

01:59:49.000 What is this? 1.00

01:59:51.000 And there's a lot of right-wing shit up there, too. 0.99

01:59:54.000 That was one of the weirdest things. 0.99

01:59:55.000 I always think of California as being pretty left-wing, pretty open-minded, pretty liberal.

02:00:01.000 I grew up in Orange County, so I did not have that sense of it.

02:00:05.000 When you drive up through the farm areas, you'll see these gigantic Mitt Romney for president signs.

02:00:12.000 This was during the election.

02:00:13.000 But I remember driving up there going, Obama is the real enemy of our country. 0.91

02:00:21.000 These big-ass billboards that people had put up. 0.99

02:00:24.000 Not just a thought that they had, but they wanted to project it out to everybody driving up there buying apples or whatever the fuck they're buying. 0.98

02:00:30.000 Right. 0.99

02:00:31.000 Apples are meth.

02:00:32.000 Yeah, or meth.

02:00:33.000 Where part of Orange County are you from?

02:00:35.000 Corona Del Mar area.

02:00:38.000 That's like super right wing, right?

02:00:39.000 Very.

02:00:40.000 Yeah, it was very homogenous.

02:00:43.000 Very, very white.

02:00:44.000 Very blonde. 0.62

02:00:45.000 Very blue-eyed.

02:00:45.000 Very athletic.

02:00:47.000 It's a good place to get filler.

02:00:47.000 Yes, it really is.

02:00:49.000 Get a lot of filler out there.

02:00:51.000 That's their cash crop. 0.79

02:00:53.000 Very athletic, is that what you said?

02:00:54.000 Yes, very athletic.

02:00:55.000 In what way?

02:00:56.000 Just that the kids that I went to school with were just very good at sports.

02:01:01.000 And they valued that.

02:01:04.000 And, you know, I definitely did not feel like I fit in.

02:01:07.000 I was round and soft and pasty and had black hair and brown eyes and just could not keep up.

02:01:17.000 I always joke that it was like a Lenny Riefenstahl wet dream there.

02:01:22.000 It was just very, the pride of white people there.

02:01:29.000 And I resented growing up there.

02:01:31.000 And then once I got older, I realized why my parents moved there.

02:01:36.000 Because I was born in Oakland, and apparently it was getting kind of rough.

02:01:39.000 So they fled with the rest of the white people. 0.78

02:01:44.000 To Orange County, where it's incredibly safe and everything's manicured and the schools are nice and, you know, it's safe being the prominent thing, I think.

02:01:55.000 And growing up, I was like, why? 0.99

02:01:57.000 Why the fuck? 0.99

02:01:59.000 Would you choose this place where we are so different in every way than everyone here? 1.00

02:02:03.000 I didn't get it.

02:02:04.000 And then, you know, as an adult, I go back and I see it is, it's nice and it is peaceful and it is calm.

02:02:12.000 And I get why you'd want to raise your kids there. 0.98

02:02:15.000 It is weird that you get these groups of white people together and they just calm the fuck down. 1.00

02:02:21.000 I'm just looking to sit with a bunch of other white people and calm down. 1.00

02:02:26.000 I'm doing the Irvine improv this weekend, and Irvine's like the safest city in America, like fucking 100 years running or something crazy. 0.97

02:02:34.000 I grew up in a boring town, and I thought Irvine was more boring. 0.96

02:02:38.000 It is more boring.

02:02:39.000 But it's a great place to do stand-up.

02:02:41.000 Nice folks.

02:02:42.000 Yeah.

02:02:43.000 Are we excited?

02:02:46.000 What was your path to get on the Adam Carolla show?

02:02:49.000 What was your path to get into podcasting?

02:02:52.000 Okay, so I started writing for magazines and newspapers very young.

02:02:57.000 How old were you?

02:02:58.000 I was 18, and I did some stuff for the LA Times.

02:03:01.000 That's awesome.

02:03:01.000 Thank you.

02:03:02.000 You must be a fucking bang-up writer. 0.99

02:03:04.000 Thank you. 0.99

02:03:06.000 I'm okay with words and stuff.

02:03:08.000 You must be.

02:03:08.000 18?

02:03:09.000 I thought I was good.

02:03:10.000 I was very in love with myself.

02:03:12.000 Okay.

02:03:13.000 I was like, LA Times today, you know, my stars just...

02:03:16.000 I really thought as a freelancer, because then I went to college, freelanced all through college, came back to Orange County, began writing for People and for Rolling Stone, and it happened fast, and I was young, and I was like...

02:03:32.000 There's just no stopping me.

02:03:33.000 And I didn't realize that, like, no, it kind of just, it's not like I do this today and then cover a Vanity Fair tomorrow.

02:03:40.000 Like, first of all, there's only so far I'm going to be able to get if I'm staying in Orange County.

02:03:44.000 And I ended up, like I said, playing in a band, writing for the OC Weekly.

02:03:48.000 What did you do in the band?

02:03:49.000 I played guitar.

02:03:50.000 Did you really?

02:03:51.000 I played drums, too.

02:03:52.000 I was the drummer initially, and there were three of us.

02:03:56.000 And I was like, you know, don't get too in love with me because I'm not staying in Orange County.

02:04:00.000 I moved back to Orange County and I was there for five years after college.

02:04:03.000 And the entire time I was like, this is not where I'm supposed to be.

02:04:06.000 This is not what I want to do with my life. 1.00

02:04:09.000 I'm sure I was such an unpleasant asshole to be around. 0.99

02:04:12.000 Do you live in Los Feliz now? 1.00

02:04:13.000 No.

02:04:14.000 No, I've changed!

02:04:18.000 But back then, yeah, it was like, you know, in year four of the band, like, don't get too used to this!

02:04:23.000 I'm not staying here!

02:04:25.000 This place is lame!

02:04:26.000 Yeah, and especially, I feel bad because a couple of the people in the band...

02:04:30.000 I mean, they're still in bands.

02:04:32.000 They really wanted to make this happen. 0.97

02:04:34.000 And I was like, this is just my stupid little thing I'm doing on the side while I'm pursuing what I'm really trying to pursue. 0.97

02:04:41.000 I love the college I went to. 0.99

02:04:42.000 I'm glad I went to college.

02:04:43.000 I believe in college, but I also think it can make you a little bit insufferable.

02:04:47.000 And that's who I was when I graduated.

02:04:49.000 So I was writing.

02:04:51.000 At a certain point, I was like, the life that I want to lead is headed this way, but the one I'm leading is going this way, and I've got to bridge the gap.

02:05:02.000 So I moved to New York.

02:05:03.000 I made the decision to move to New York.

02:05:04.000 And then 9-11 happened like six days after I made the decision.

02:05:07.000 And I was like, I don't care.

02:05:08.000 I'm going anyway.

02:05:10.000 Even though I... No, I'm glad I did, though.

02:05:12.000 And what was the thought process behind New York?

02:05:15.000 I... It's the most cosmopolitan, most happening.

02:05:19.000 Well, for writing.

02:05:20.000 Because that was my...

02:05:21.000 You know, writing for magazines was my thing.

02:05:23.000 And writing in general, it was kind of the...

02:05:26.000 It was where all that took place.

02:05:28.000 All the people that I was talking to when I was freelancing for national magazines were based in New York.

02:05:32.000 It just seemed like the place to go for that.

02:05:35.000 I wanted to be in a city.

02:05:38.000 I remember my band toured and I met this guy.

02:05:41.000 I was walking around San Francisco and San Francisco felt like such a city to me.

02:05:45.000 I was like, I really want to be in a place that has the feel of a city.

02:05:49.000 And I met this guy who worked at the venue that we were playing.

02:05:53.000 And he was telling me that he was moving to Brooklyn because San Francisco just wasn't enough of a city for him.

02:06:00.000 And I remember that was blowing my mind because I was like, this feels like such a city to me.

02:06:04.000 If this isn't a city enough, what am I doing in these cow pastures in Orange County?

02:06:09.000 So I made the decision to move and then eventually moved and I was there for about nine years.

02:06:17.000 First couple years, much more difficult than I thought.

02:06:23.000 I felt weirdly insecure and I hadn't expected to feel socially insecure, but I had left everything I knew.

02:06:29.000 I didn't know where I fit in suddenly.

02:06:34.000 Especially after having been in the band, like my whole life during the time I was in the band was, and also I wrote about music before I was ever in the band.

02:06:42.000 So my life was going to shows or playing shows and I had a group of friends and a community that I really missed once I left them.

02:06:50.000 So then I was in New York and I was like, I don't have friends and I don't have a job and I'm freelancing but it's not enough.

02:06:56.000 I don't know what I'm doing and I feel very alone and I feel uncomfortable and weird.

02:07:00.000 Thankfully, that went away.

02:07:02.000 It just took longer than I thought it would.

02:07:05.000 Got a job at Time Out New York, where I worked for a number of years.

02:07:09.000 And while I was at Time Out New York, they were looking for editors to go on television to talk about events going on in the city.

02:07:17.000 So I said, I'm like, I'll do it.

02:07:20.000 And it was Channel 4, so WNBC. They really liked me and they wanted me to keep coming back and doing it every Saturday morning.

02:07:31.000 So initially they were going to have a group of editors doing it and they decided they just wanted me, which I thought was great because I was so destined for greatness.

02:07:40.000 I'm like, it's all happening.

02:07:42.000 That's how I felt.

02:07:44.000 I hope it's clear that I'm trying to be self-deprecating. 0.99

02:07:47.000 I worry I'm coming off as an asshole. 0.96

02:07:51.000 Anyway, I began doing that a lot and I realized I really enjoyed that. 0.97

02:07:55.000 I enjoyed that performance element, I guess.

02:07:58.000 I liked going on camera.

02:08:00.000 Started doing other TV stuff.

02:08:03.000 And then I was aware of YouTube and I was experimenting with YouTube and I was putting my television clips.

02:08:11.000 I started doing a lot of news stuff.

02:08:13.000 I was putting my television clips on YouTube and then I don't know what made me decide one day, like, what if I just recorded myself?

02:08:22.000 What if I just did, just talked, you know, did question and answer, like talked directly to my little bit of an audience that I'm beginning to have because I had a blog as well.

02:08:31.000 And so I did that and the response to that was so overwhelming.

02:08:35.000 I was like, oh, people don't care if it's polished when you're dealing with the internet.

02:08:38.000 It's more about the immediacy and it's more about you talking to them.

02:08:41.000 So I started getting into that, started doing various web shows.

02:08:44.000 And then I created a show called Alison Rosen is Your New Best Friend on Ustream.

02:08:49.000 And I would do that.

02:08:51.000 It was a talk show from my living room that I would do for three hours every Sunday evening.

02:08:56.000 And it was not that dissimilar, there's so many negatives in that sentence, from the podcast that I have now.

02:09:03.000 That's where I started a lot of the segments that I do now, was on that show.

02:09:06.000 And by the way, I remember when I was Ustreaming, you were also on Ustream.

02:09:11.000 And oftentimes on the front page of Ustream, it would have me and you, way back when.

02:09:16.000 Crazy, man.

02:09:16.000 Are you still on Ustream?

02:09:18.000 Yeah.

02:09:19.000 We don't stream on Ustream anymore because We were doing it, and we're trying to do it simultaneously with YouTube, but there's something wrong with our TriCaster.

02:09:28.000 I see.

02:09:28.000 Still sucks, right?

02:09:30.000 Doesn't really want to do it? 0.98

02:09:31.000 It would work.

02:09:31.000 It's just not solid, and then one would drop off.

02:09:34.000 It crashes.

02:09:35.000 Right.

02:09:35.000 So we had to choose one platform.

02:09:38.000 Yeah.

02:09:38.000 And the thing about YouTube is YouTube lets you pause, and it lets you backtrack while you're actually watching it.

02:09:44.000 Ustream doesn't support that feature.

02:09:46.000 And there's more users that are watching YouTube, so we just decided to jump ship.

02:09:53.000 Yeah.

02:09:53.000 I had begun to wonder, is the audience there for online streaming visual stuff in the same way that they're there for podcasts?

02:10:08.000 I remember listening, I was friends with Doug Benson and listening to his podcast and I got this curiosity about podcasts.

02:10:14.000 And then I heard that Adam Carolla was looking for a news girl.

02:10:18.000 And I was still in New York at the time.

02:10:21.000 And I tried to send them my stuff, and I didn't hear anything.

02:10:24.000 And I'm like, okay, well, I did what I can, and no one's getting back to me.

02:10:28.000 And then, very rapidly, someone in my family got sick, and I moved from New York to California to be with them because we didn't...

02:10:38.000 It turns out that person is actually doing very well now.

02:10:41.000 But at the time, it wasn't clear what direction it was going to go, and so it didn't make sense to stay in New York.

02:10:47.000 When this was happening.

02:10:48.000 So I moved back kind of suddenly.

02:10:50.000 And then around the time that I was lying on my parents' couch being like, what the hell did I do?

02:10:56.000 Why did I... I don't think that I made the right move and coming back, I got an email from Mike August and I think the entire message was in the subject line and it was just like...

02:11:05.000 You know, Adam Crowell show this day, this time, you know, can you come in?

02:11:09.000 And I said, sure.

02:11:10.000 So I did and I auditioned and then they narrowed it down to like four of us and then I auditioned again and then I got the job.

02:11:17.000 So, yeah, it was nice.

02:11:20.000 Do you like doing your own thing better?

02:11:23.000 Um, I began doing my own thing while I was still there, and I really enjoy doing my own thing.

02:11:30.000 Yeah, I also really liked being on that show, too.

02:11:34.000 You know, I'm grateful for the four years that I had there, and there's a lot of positive memories, also a fair amount of things that I think that was fucked up, but... 0.68

02:11:47.000 You can't just say that. 0.84

02:11:49.000 But I just did.

02:11:50.000 But if you do, you have to elaborate.

02:11:54.000 You don't have to.

02:11:55.000 I don't want you to.

02:11:56.000 I feel like you do want me to.

02:11:57.000 I don't.

02:11:58.000 Don't want you to do what you don't want to do.

02:12:00.000 You know, whenever I talk about it...

02:12:03.000 It's funny.

02:12:05.000 I was thinking about this the other day.

02:12:07.000 Whenever I talk about...

02:12:07.000 No, I was thinking about this today.

02:12:09.000 Because I was thinking about this show.

02:12:11.000 And if it was going to come up or not.

02:12:14.000 Whenever I talk about all the stuff that happened on that show near the end when I was no longer on the show...

02:12:21.000 I simultaneously afterwards wish I had said nothing and wish I had said more.

02:12:26.000 It's so weird.

02:12:27.000 And I was like, why do I have those dual competing feelings?

02:12:32.000 And I think the reason is because I have mixed feelings about the whole thing.

02:12:36.000 Like, there's part of me that's so thankful for my time on the show and thankful that I was given that opportunity and, you know, we toured and I learned so much and I had the best time and all that.

02:12:47.000 And there's part of me that's like... 0.99

02:12:49.000 Hey, fuck you for not respecting me enough as a human being to have a conversation with me. 1.00

02:12:54.000 I sat next to you for four years. 1.00

02:12:56.000 Oh, you mean about the way you were dismissed?

02:12:59.000 Yeah.

02:12:59.000 Yeah, that makes sense.

02:13:01.000 I think that I still have mixed feelings about everything, but I'm aware of how fortunate I was, and I'm grateful for so much, and I also feel like there were certain elements of it that I think were fucked up, like I said.

02:13:17.000 Where was I going with all that, though?

02:13:19.000 You were talking about the bad aspects of it.

02:13:23.000 Oh, yeah.

02:13:23.000 Well, no, you were saying, do I like doing my own thing?

02:13:27.000 Yes, I do.

02:13:29.000 But there's elements I miss.

02:13:31.000 Well, you were good on the show.

02:13:33.000 Thank you.

02:13:33.000 I remember that's where we met, you know, the times that you...

02:13:36.000 I thought you and I had some interesting exchanges were on the show where you were really tuned in.

02:13:42.000 Like, I feel like...

02:13:43.000 I really love Adam, but I feel like Adam is like you go over a guy's house and there's just a bunch of locked doors.

02:13:50.000 And you can hang out with him in the living room.

02:13:52.000 When it's time to leave, you leave.

02:13:53.000 And you never get to see what's in those locked doors.

02:13:55.000 Yeah, you don't always feel like or ever feel like you connect.

02:13:59.000 Yeah.

02:14:00.000 But that's just him.

02:14:01.000 You know, it's his personality.

02:14:03.000 He's just... 0.99

02:14:04.000 He's got that radio persona or the TV persona, whatever the fuck it is. 0.99

02:14:12.000 And it's like, this is his range. 0.99

02:14:15.000 This is where he's going down.

02:14:16.000 And so when you and I would have conversations on the show, one of the things that I like is you would ask these provocative questions.

02:14:23.000 You would probe and do things that I don't think necessarily he does.

02:14:26.000 I thought it was an interesting mixture.

02:14:28.000 Yeah.

02:14:29.000 Thank you.

02:14:30.000 Yeah, I thought so too.

02:14:33.000 So it was a surprise to me to find out that he was unhappy.

02:14:38.000 Did you guys argue or anything?

02:14:39.000 No.

02:14:40.000 Do you mean on air?

02:14:41.000 Yeah, either one.

02:14:43.000 Never off air.

02:14:44.000 Never off air.

02:14:45.000 Everything was always really cordial and I thought...

02:14:48.000 I honestly thought everything was fine.

02:14:50.000 I thought everything was good.

02:14:51.000 I thought we were in a good place.

02:14:51.000 I was very, very surprised to find out how wrong I was about how he was feeling about everything.

02:14:59.000 And I only found that out because I was fired.

02:15:03.000 And then he did an episode where he...

02:15:06.000 Talked about everything and it was like I was kind of blown away by all the and I didn't listen to it for a while but people were tweeting me a lot of people were tweeting me these things like why'd you do this why'd you do this and I'm like I didn't do any of that like that is all it's not true and it was when you're saying that you have to explain what you're talking about okay I'm trying to think of like one of the one of the shining exam well Is this going to be

02:15:36.000 one of those simultaneous things?

02:15:39.000 Simultaneously too much and not enough?

02:15:39.000 It is because I think the part that makes me the most uncomfortable is getting into the weeds with all the details because it just sounds so petty.

02:15:46.000 Then don't talk about it.

02:15:47.000 Okay.

02:15:47.000 It's okay.

02:15:48.000 You don't have to bring it up.

02:15:49.000 It's no big deal.

02:15:53.000 Yeah.

02:15:53.000 It's weird though.

02:15:54.000 I don't know why I'm so afraid to get to talk about it either.

02:15:58.000 Well, you know that there's going to be a bunch of people that have opinions.

02:16:01.000 Yes.

02:16:01.000 And it's all going to come down on both sides.

02:16:03.000 There's going to be supportive people and there's going to be negative people.

02:16:05.000 Right.

02:16:05.000 And they're going to try to tweet it at them.

02:16:07.000 This fucking bitch is saying a bunch of things. 1.00

02:16:08.000 You gave her an opportunity. 1.00

02:16:10.000 And she's not getting over it either.

02:16:14.000 I feel like they're going to say that.

02:16:15.000 How long ago was it that you left?

02:16:18.000 It was tail end of 2014. Yeah, get over it.

02:16:24.000 It's two years.

02:16:25.000 Well, that's the funny thing is that I am totally over it, but it does come up.

02:16:28.000 Of course, it's going to.

02:16:29.000 On things like podcasts.

02:16:30.000 Well, I mean, obviously, it's got a giant show.

02:16:33.000 Yeah.

02:16:34.000 You know, it's going to come up.

02:16:36.000 Honestly...

02:16:38.000 It was a good thing for me to go off on my own.

02:16:43.000 Were you starting to go off on your own while you were doing his show?

02:16:46.000 Were you doing another show from his studio thing?

02:16:48.000 Because he's got like a bunch of different little...

02:16:50.000 I was doing my show on his network.

02:16:52.000 Oh.

02:16:52.000 And then you stopped and started doing it on your own?

02:16:55.000 Well, I got kicked off of...

02:16:58.000 I got the boot.

02:17:00.000 And you kicked off the network too?

02:17:02.000 Yeah.

02:17:02.000 Wow.

02:17:03.000 I was surprised by that as well.

02:17:05.000 It was just a whole, like, we're done with you.

02:17:09.000 So I began doing my show on my own.

02:17:14.000 Did it make you reexamine how you do your show?

02:17:19.000 In what way?

02:17:20.000 Was there a part of you that was like, okay, is there something about me that's annoying?

02:17:25.000 Is there something about me that's grating?

02:17:28.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:17:29.000 Like, why did this happen?

02:17:30.000 Well, you know what I said to you early in the podcast where I could tell.

02:17:34.000 I go, well, there's a podcaster's mind because you're worrying.

02:17:38.000 Some people are going to look at this.

02:17:39.000 They're going to approach it a certain way.

02:17:41.000 You're constantly examining.

02:17:42.000 If you're trying to do a podcast, you're constantly examining, okay, am I talking too much?

02:17:47.000 Is this boring?

02:17:48.000 Is this repetitive?

02:17:49.000 How do I juice this up?

02:17:51.000 How do I make this exciting?

02:17:53.000 When you recovered from that and you're like, okay, now I'm on my own, does it make you tentative?

02:17:59.000 Do you say, okay, I have to maybe be less bold or maybe more cautious or maybe more aware?

02:18:07.000 I think that all the extra attention that was on me after it happened made me I speak in the way that I'm speaking right now,

02:18:26.000 which is super unnatural and really halting and examining every word before I say it.

02:18:30.000 You know, it did.

02:18:31.000 It did.

02:18:34.000 Because...

02:18:34.000 Okay, now I'm just going to talk about some of it.

02:18:36.000 Immediately afterwards, when there were all these people coming to me, people tweeting at me like, why didn't you do this?

02:18:41.000 Why didn't you do this?

02:18:42.000 I wanted it to set the record straight.

02:18:45.000 And someone that I... A mentor, someone that I look up to, but who doesn't come from podcasting, who comes from old media, was like, don't take the bait, Allison.

02:18:56.000 Don't do it.

02:18:57.000 When the dust settles, do not get in there.

02:19:02.000 Just allow, just be, you know, take the high road because everyone can see what's happening.

02:19:09.000 And it may, like that night I had planned to be like, here's my side of the story.

02:19:14.000 Here's my response to this, to this, to this, to this.

02:19:17.000 Like I was going to get into it because it, there was so much It's untruth out there.

02:19:26.000 And I had very simple like, no, let me read.

02:19:29.000 Here's the email.

02:19:30.000 Here's what this said.

02:19:31.000 Here's this.

02:19:32.000 This is not the way it went down.

02:19:33.000 You guys are getting a distorted version of things.

02:19:37.000 But then I listened to this guy and I was like, that makes a lot of sense.

02:19:42.000 So I am just going to say thank you for the great time that I had on the show and I wish you the best.

02:19:49.000 And I did that.

02:19:51.000 And then for the next two months, I chafed against that because it's like, I agree that that is a great position to take.

02:20:00.000 But if you have an audience, if you have a podcast, that podcast, depending on the kind of podcast you have, but for the most part, it's predicated on the relationship you have with the listeners and the fact that you are honest with them and you're transparent and you're authentic,

02:20:15.000 genuine self.

02:20:16.000 So all of a sudden, I did not know how to be my authentic, genuine self while also trying to not discuss this thing that was such a big thing, obviously.

02:20:30.000 And so I was kind of like vacillating and going back and forth.

02:20:35.000 And being authentic in every way other than this one topic that I wasn't talking about.

02:20:39.000 And then at a certain point, I'm like, why am I not talking about it?

02:20:42.000 It feels so weird to not be talking about it.

02:20:44.000 So then I finally did talk about it.

02:20:46.000 And it was a couple months later.

02:20:52.000 And that specifically is a thing where I'm like, I wish I had never said any of that.

02:20:56.000 But you're talking about it now, though.

02:20:58.000 I'm talking around it.

02:20:59.000 I'm talking around it.

02:21:00.000 Yeah, but even in doing so, you're still discussing it.

02:21:02.000 Yeah.

02:21:03.000 You're spending an enormous amount of time thinking about it and discussing it.

02:21:07.000 Right.

02:21:08.000 I mean, you and I discussed it, too.

02:21:10.000 Right.

02:21:11.000 And my thoughts were pretty much the same.

02:21:14.000 Just don't.

02:21:14.000 Don't bother.

02:21:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:21:16.000 Just kick ass. 1.00

02:21:16.000 Go do your shit. 1.00

02:21:17.000 Don't worry about it. 1.00

02:21:18.000 And there's going to be times where people just don't.

02:21:22.000 It doesn't work.

02:21:24.000 It doesn't gel.

02:21:24.000 Maybe it gelled for you more than it gelled for him, or maybe the opportunity was better for you than it was for him.

02:21:31.000 People shouldn't be forced to have to work together, especially in show business.

02:21:35.000 Oh, that I 100% agree with, by the way.

02:21:37.000 In no way was I ever like, he shouldn't have made this decision.

02:21:41.000 It's not fair.

02:21:42.000 Seems weird to me that he kicked you off his network, though.

02:21:44.000 That doesn't make any sense.

02:21:45.000 That seems like there was something more to it.

02:21:47.000 Because if you guys stopped working together and he just kept you on his network and helped promote you and pumped you up, that seems more amicable.

02:21:55.000 It makes sense.

02:21:56.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:21:58.000 That's what I'm saying about how it didn't make sense to me.

02:22:00.000 He is pissed.

02:22:03.000 And I don't know why.

02:22:05.000 What are you going to do?

02:22:06.000 Yeah.

02:22:08.000 Do your own show.

02:22:09.000 That's what I'm...

02:22:10.000 That's what you did.

02:22:10.000 I think I'll start doing that.

02:22:11.000 You've already been doing it.

02:22:12.000 Yeah.

02:22:13.000 How's it going?

02:22:13.000 Are you enjoying it?

02:22:14.000 It's going really well.

02:22:15.000 You're doing it twice a week?

02:22:15.000 Yeah, twice a week.

02:22:17.000 Monday is a one-on-one, and Thursday there's a panel of us.

02:22:21.000 And it's going really well, and I really like it, and yeah, everything's good.

02:22:27.000 Well, there you go.

02:22:28.000 Just don't worry about it.

02:22:29.000 I'm not worrying about it.

02:22:31.000 But you are.

02:22:32.000 Because you talked about it, right?

02:22:34.000 When I talk about it, I worry about the fact that I just talked about it.

02:22:37.000 And I can't get to the bottom of why that is.

02:22:40.000 I mean, like I said before, I think it's because I'm of different minds about it.

02:22:43.000 But it might just be because there's so much immediate online response anytime I... That's one of the more difficult things about anything that you're putting out there, whether it's a talk show or a podcast or fucking even an album or anything.

02:23:00.000 It's the navigating the response and the social media response, which is just so different than the response that you would have gotten.

02:23:08.000 A few decades ago, or a decade ago.

02:23:11.000 It's so different.

02:23:12.000 It's a different world, and no one knows exactly how to handle it.

02:23:15.000 Right.

02:23:15.000 I mean, they can give you really good advice, but no one's done it.

02:23:18.000 No one said, well, in the 30 years of my career, when Twitter came along, you know, they don't really have that to say.

02:23:25.000 So...

02:23:27.000 The paralysis by analysis.

02:23:30.000 Ooh, that's good.

02:23:31.000 Yeah, what you were just talking about.

02:23:32.000 That's a fighting term.

02:23:33.000 Yeah.

02:23:34.000 You know, like you analyze things too much when you're fighting and you freeze up and you don't know what to do.

02:23:39.000 He who hesitates is lost. 0.97

02:23:41.000 So when you're unfortunately incapable of being yourself because you're worrying about criticism, that's also something that cunts want. 0.98

02:23:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:23:50.000 They want to be able to fuck with you to the point where I see her. 1.00

02:23:54.000 You know, Allison reads my tweets. 1.00

02:23:55.000 I see her.

02:23:56.000 She worries about what she says now because of me. 1.00

02:24:00.000 And then they're like, yeah, good job on Rogan's podcast, you fucking dumb bitch. 1.00

02:24:04.000 Talk about yourself much? 1.00

02:24:05.000 Yeah.

02:24:05.000 Oh, no, I'm sure.

02:24:07.000 Oh, easy.

02:24:08.000 Right.

02:24:08.000 And then you think about that the next time you talk, and then they creep into your head.

02:24:12.000 That's why I try to not expose...

02:24:14.000 To the degree that I can, I try not to expose myself to it because I think to myself...

02:24:21.000 This is not helping me to be good at anything.

02:24:25.000 This is not making a better show when I do my own show. 1.00

02:24:28.000 This is making me concerned that these 18 idiots are upset with something, you know? 0.99

02:24:32.000 Well, it can give you a different perspective. 1.00

02:24:36.000 Occasionally someone can say something that will illuminate some aspects of your own behavior that maybe you weren't aware of.

02:24:41.000 It is possible. 0.99

02:24:42.000 But it's also possible that you can tap into a river of cunts and just drown. 0.99

02:24:48.000 And you can also... 0.98

02:24:50.000 I've swum in those rivers.

02:24:52.000 Swam?

02:24:54.000 Do you see a video that I posted the other day about one of the most dangerous rivers in the world?

02:25:00.000 And it's insanely deceptive.

02:25:02.000 I tweeted it yesterday, I believe.

02:25:04.000 This is crazy.

02:25:05.000 It's this place in England.

02:25:07.000 And it's this river that, if you look at it, it looks like a calm, just sort of...

02:25:14.000 Meandering river just doesn't look anything exceptional but the way it's cut into the to the ground what you're seeing is not the entire river there's an underlying aspect of it with torrential currents so if you get stuck in it if you go in it you literally can't escape you get smashed up against the rocks and you get killed like here play this oh yeah it looks so plastic yeah look at this play it jamie I reckon it is the most dangerous stretch of water anywhere on

02:25:44.000 earth.

02:25:44.000 How crazy is that?

02:25:46.000 Yeah, it looks so calm.

02:25:48.000 What's the name of this video?

02:25:50.000 The most dangerous stretch of water in the world.

02:25:54.000 The strid, is that what it says?

02:25:56.000 Yeah, the strid at Bolton.

02:25:57.000 Strid at Bolton.

02:26:04.000 This is what the river looks like about 100 metres upstream.

02:26:07.000 Same river, all that water went down.

02:26:10.000 Thanks to the local geology, the river basically turns on its side, gouging out passages and tunnels in the rocks below.

02:26:17.000 Those banks are actually overhangs.

02:26:20.000 There isn't any riverbed just below the surface, it's a deep, boiling mass of fast and deadly currents.

02:26:28.000 There are claims that falling in has a 100% fatality rate.

02:26:32.000 There's no way to confirm that, of course, because a local person doesn't die in river doesn't make the news, but it has claimed a lot of lives.

02:26:40.000 There are even tales from the 12th century of a young boy, set to be the future King of Scotland, who died trying to jump across those waters.

02:26:49.000 And anything or anyone that falls in might not come out in any recognisable form.

02:26:53.000 It could just get pulverised against the rocks underwater over And over and over again.

02:27:00.000 I'd try and put a camera in, but then I'd have to get close to the edge.

02:27:04.000 And the edge isn't sharp, it just curves towards the water and it's covered in slippery moss.

02:27:11.000 Besides, the water is opaque and brown with peat stain.

02:27:14.000 You'd see nothing.

02:27:15.000 Is it survivable?

02:27:17.000 It's one of those things where you really have to look at it.

02:27:20.000 So, people listening to this, go and check out the video.

02:27:22.000 What is it?

02:27:23.000 Is it on Vimeo?

02:27:23.000 What is it on?

02:27:24.000 It's on YouTube?

02:27:26.000 The video is much better representation because what they do is they show you what the river looks like at its widest part, which is enormous.

02:27:34.000 And then it cuts down into a small area that you can jump across.

02:27:37.000 And it's so much water rolling through such a small area. 0.75

02:27:42.000 That it creates this intense current and just fucking bizarre, right?

02:27:47.000 But it's like an optical illusion because it just looks like a stream. 0.72

02:27:50.000 Yeah, it looks like nothing.

02:27:51.000 It's flowing, yeah.

02:27:51.000 Meanwhile, it's super deep and raging underneath it and you just can't...

02:27:56.000 It's like the subconscious. 0.99

02:27:57.000 Ooh, deep, yeah, deep, a river of cunts. 0.96

02:28:04.000 But, you know, that's like in a lot of ways. 0.98

02:28:07.000 That's what you're dealing with.

02:28:08.000 I don't know how we got to that.

02:28:10.000 That's what it was, right? 0.98

02:28:10.000 River of cunts. 0.98

02:28:11.000 That's what we were talking about. 0.96

02:28:13.000 Yeah.

02:28:14.000 Even for them, you know, the people that are doing that, a lot of times they don't even realize the harm they're doing to themselves in their own psyche by just lashing out at people.

02:28:23.000 I went to this guy's page yesterday.

02:28:25.000 He was tweeting at someone I know, like some really negative shit, and I went to his page, and his entire Twitter page was just him shitting on various famous people and trying to get them to respond to him. 0.97

02:28:37.000 Like, what a bizarre life. 0.99

02:28:39.000 Right.

02:28:41.000 It's got to be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem to be just constantly lashing out at famous people and trying to get them to respond to you, just trying to insult them, trying to troll them.

02:28:53.000 Right.

02:28:55.000 Bizarre.

02:28:56.000 Bizarre.

02:28:57.000 It always makes me wonder, is it young people?

02:28:59.000 Is it like people who are in that phase of life where you're young and you're angry?

02:29:04.000 Some of them.

02:29:04.000 And you just need an outlet.

02:29:06.000 Some of them, yeah.

02:29:07.000 Some of them, it's older men.

02:29:09.000 Some of it's men, you know, like if you ever ran into a man who's like in his 50s, never had a family, never been married, there's a weirdness to those folks.

02:29:17.000 Yeah.

02:29:18.000 There's a real weirdness to these older set-in-their-ways guys that never really settled down with anybody.

02:29:25.000 You'll run into them occasionally and you're like, whoa, you're surviving without a heart.

02:29:30.000 You know what I mean?

02:29:31.000 You're like one of these people that's, you're missing organs or something like that.

02:29:34.000 You're missing a critical aspect of what it means to be a person.

02:29:38.000 Right.

02:29:39.000 I noticed a fair amount of hate that I was getting years ago.

02:29:48.000 I noticed a pattern that I would oftentimes discover, like I would get some shitty comment and then I would go to the person's page and they had a newborn.

02:29:59.000 And it was like a lot of brand new dads.

02:30:01.000 And that really surprised me. 0.98

02:30:03.000 That like it's brand new dads who are writing shitty things. 0.97

02:30:07.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:30:08.000 And my husband's theory is like, yeah, because they're not getting sex.

02:30:12.000 Wow, that's a weird theory.

02:30:14.000 I know, right?

02:30:14.000 I would think it's more that they're tired.

02:30:16.000 I would say it's more...

02:30:18.000 Well, I mean, I think his theory...

02:30:20.000 Yes, they're tired and there's been this huge change in their relationship.

02:30:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:30:26.000 Or they're just assholes and the baby didn't cure it. 0.99

02:30:29.000 The thing that was most overwhelming to me, having a baby, was how compassionate I felt for other people. 1.00

02:30:37.000 How I felt like, oh, these other people that are all fucked up are just babies. 0.97

02:30:41.000 They were babies that were just exposed to the wrong stimuli, the wrong life, the wrong emotions, the wrong family, the wrong... 0.99

02:30:52.000 We're good to go.

02:31:11.000 And you tell me about your life experience, you know, born in, you know, Oakland, moving to Orange County, I got to get out of here, I'm going to ban, but I'm going to leave, now I'm in New York, and you know, and then all these different interactions and different engagements, and then boom,

02:31:27.000 now you're here.

02:31:27.000 And you're the sum total of these experiences and your reflections on these experiences.

02:31:33.000 And it's one of the reasons why people that have lived fucked up lives are the most interesting.

02:31:38.000 And people that have these mundane self-absorbed existences are the most boring because they really haven't had the trials and tribulations. 0.99

02:31:47.000 They really haven't had those moments where they had to question themselves and try to figure out what the fuck they're doing with themselves.

02:31:52.000 When you do that and you hit those low points and then rebound, that's where life's lessons happen. 0.73

02:31:58.000 I agree.

02:31:59.000 And it's kind of weird as a parent because I don't want my kids to face adversity.

02:32:03.000 I want my kids to have a really fun time.

02:32:05.000 But I also know that unless they do, unless they do face disappointment and some adversity, at least some, they're not going to get a full...

02:32:18.000 Yeah.

02:32:39.000 How much of my resilience would I have?

02:32:41.000 And how much resilience do people have where they don't experience life outside of their very small existence, their very small community, their very small pattern of life experiences?

02:32:56.000 Right.

02:32:56.000 That sort of letting my kids go through adversity, that part I know is going to be hard for me because I'm the kind of person where if there's someone in the corner that has an itch, I'm like, let me come over and scratch it for you.

02:33:08.000 I don't want you to feel discomfort.

02:33:09.000 I'm very tuned in to...

02:33:13.000 Are you going to be a helicopter parent?

02:33:14.000 I hope not.

02:33:16.000 Older women, when they have children later in life, that's when they're most likely helicopter parents. 1.00

02:33:21.000 There's a lot of helicopter parents in my kids' school.

02:33:24.000 I probably will be.

02:33:26.000 I want to be the right level of helicopter parent to keep my kids safe. 0.98

02:33:32.000 And happy, but not fuck them up with bean smothering. 0.99

02:33:37.000 That's going to be the challenge for me, I think. 0.99

02:33:40.000 It's tough action.

02:33:41.000 It's interesting.

02:33:42.000 Everybody does it different.

02:33:44.000 And kids come out different. 0.96

02:33:47.000 And then there's also, like, my two kids are so fucking dissimilar. 0.98

02:33:51.000 They're so dissimilar. 0.97

02:33:52.000 What's the age difference?

02:33:54.000 One of them is almost seven, or one of them is actually just turned eight, rather, and one of them is almost six.

02:34:00.000 So, out of the box, the six-year-old is the one who eats candy and becomes a barbarian.

02:34:06.000 She's so much different.

02:34:07.000 She's six soon.

02:34:09.000 But she's so much different than her sister.

02:34:12.000 They're just so different.

02:34:14.000 And they grew up in the same loving household, same amount of attention, same amount of resources.

02:34:21.000 You know, obviously slightly different life experiences.

02:34:23.000 You know, different, of course.

02:34:25.000 Different friends, different things.

02:34:26.000 But it's not just that.

02:34:27.000 It's the innate personality.

02:34:30.000 Like, they come out of the box different.

02:34:32.000 Well, that's something I wonder.

02:34:33.000 I mean, when you're saying that sitting here, I'm the sum total of everything I've experienced.

02:34:39.000 Yes.

02:34:40.000 But I also think, how much is just genetic?

02:34:44.000 It's definitely there too.

02:34:45.000 It's also the variabilities.

02:34:48.000 It's not just genetics that are variable.

02:34:51.000 It's like those genetics vary.

02:34:54.000 Brothers and sisters are different.

02:34:57.000 I wonder what the combination is.

02:34:59.000 How much of your husband is going to be in your kid and how much of it's you?

02:35:03.000 And is it a 50-50 split?

02:35:05.000 Right.

02:35:05.000 And how much is that other guy?

02:35:07.000 Yeah.

02:35:08.000 And do your genes just dominate his?

02:35:10.000 Have you ever seen a person who's blonde-haired and blue-eyed and the kid doesn't look anything like him?

02:35:16.000 Like, oh, your genes got dominated.

02:35:18.000 Right.

02:35:20.000 I don't know.

02:35:21.000 It's interesting.

02:35:22.000 My sister, who has the same coloring as I do, has a blonde, blue-eyed baby.

02:35:27.000 And it's so weird.

02:35:28.000 Her husband is blonde and blue-eyed, but I just believed that the dark genes would dominate, and they did not. 0.99

02:35:37.000 Viking genes took over. 0.66

02:35:38.000 I guess so, yeah.

02:35:39.000 Yeah, it can happen.

02:35:41.000 It's interesting also, not just that, like, the genetic variables, which are truly fascinating, personality variables, all these different things, but also...

02:35:54.000 How they interact with each other, which is going to be so much different than how you interact with them and watching kids interact with each other and getting annoyed at each other and trying to work that out and watching their own little personality disputes that they have and how they navigate those and little tools they have.

02:36:11.000 Like my youngest one cries at everything.

02:36:13.000 Everything is like, I can't believe she did that.

02:36:15.000 And she'll go way overboard.

02:36:18.000 And I'm like, settle down.

02:36:19.000 Relax.

02:36:20.000 Because they figure out, if I cry, I get hugs.

02:36:23.000 And someone picks me up.

02:36:24.000 And so that's the move.

02:36:25.000 So anything that goes wrong, I'm just going to start crying.

02:36:27.000 So I'll watch her.

02:36:28.000 She'll do something wrong. 0.98

02:36:30.000 Her sister will get pissed at her. 1.00

02:36:32.000 And then she'll run away crying that her sister did something. 0.91

02:36:35.000 I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

02:36:36.000 Hold on.

02:36:37.000 I just watched it.

02:36:38.000 I watched that whole thing go down.

02:36:40.000 That's not how it went down.

02:36:41.000 Yes, it is!

02:36:42.000 And then the cries will get bigger.

02:36:44.000 So it becomes like you don't want your kid to be a crybaby.

02:36:48.000 You also want your kid to recognize that you know exactly what went on, but you also want to let them know that it's okay.

02:36:56.000 So that's where I've always...

02:36:58.000 Gone to the, I did the exact same thing when I was your age.

02:37:01.000 And I think that's a big one.

02:37:03.000 Like, letting them know.

02:37:04.000 And then, you know, letting it go, too.

02:37:06.000 Don't harp on it.

02:37:07.000 Just let it go.

02:37:08.000 All right, come on.

02:37:09.000 Give me a hug.

02:37:09.000 Let's go play with some stuff.

02:37:10.000 Like, let it go.

02:37:11.000 Because they learn themselves.

02:37:13.000 They see themselves that things don't work.

02:37:15.000 They see themselves that they got called out on their manipulation. 0.99

02:37:17.000 Like, oh, I fucking ran my crying game. 0.99

02:37:21.000 I shut down today. 0.98

02:37:23.000 But no one's getting mad, you know, so it's not like I'm a terrible person, I need to feel awful, but that crying game don't work on daddy.

02:37:30.000 Yeah, I like that, the idea that the stakes aren't that high.

02:37:33.000 Yeah.

02:37:33.000 I think I grew up with the feeling at all times that the stakes were very high.

02:37:39.000 Yeah.

02:37:39.000 And, you know, I have parents who have that, the stakes are high attitude towards everything, where it's like, the stakes are very low here, but they're just very, you know...

02:37:51.000 Prone to anxiety and prone to overreacting people.

02:37:59.000 It's also those stakes are entirely dependent upon what's the full extent of the possibilities that things can go right or wrong.

02:38:09.000 Right, like what's the worst that could happen?

02:38:11.000 And if it's not a big deal, then so it happens just...

02:38:14.000 You'll fix it.

02:38:15.000 Right, but it's a perspective issue.

02:38:17.000 If you're living in the Congo, whatever issue came up wouldn't come up at all. 0.99

02:38:20.000 I guarantee you these people that are trying to find water don't look at their nose and go, God, I've got to figure out a way to get out of the Congo and get to Beverly Hills, get my fucking nose fixed. 0.97

02:38:29.000 You keep talking about my nose. 0.98

02:38:31.000 I'm not talking about your nose.

02:38:32.000 You're talking about my nose.

02:38:33.000 Nope, I'm talking about a Congo person's nose. 1.00

02:38:35.000 You're just making it about you.

02:38:36.000 You're talking about my nose, and I get what you're saying.

02:38:39.000 You're telling me that you think I should get plastic surgery.

02:38:42.000 Are you going to leave this?

02:38:43.000 That's what I'm getting from this.

02:38:45.000 I felt like the entire time I was on Joe Rogan's podcast, he was judging my nose, and I don't want to talk about it, but I don't want to talk about it.

02:38:52.000 So it's like one of those things where I feel like I could say too much or too little simultaneously.

02:38:58.000 I want to thank you.

02:38:59.000 Thank you for talking about my nose.

02:39:01.000 But hey, I didn't like the way you talked about my nose. 0.96

02:39:05.000 The fucking entire podcast was a thinly veiled slight at my nose. 0.97

02:39:08.000 I mean, he asked me questions. 0.99

02:39:10.000 And now I go online and people are tweeting me half-truths about my nose.

02:39:14.000 You know what people are going to do?

02:39:15.000 They're going to subtly Photoshop your nose just slightly bigger.

02:39:18.000 And you're going to look at the picture like, oh my god, do I look like that? 0.99

02:39:20.000 And then you're going to go to the bathroom and look at your nose and go, what the fuck? 0.99

02:39:23.000 Well, thank you for giving them this bang-up idea. 0.99

02:39:26.000 Well, I know this guy who photoshops his radio personality and he takes him and he does like these subtle weird things to his face.

02:39:35.000 He makes his teeth bigger and he makes them balder and he makes his hands smaller and he makes his shoulders like more narrow but just slightly. 0.99

02:39:45.000 Well, you look at him and you go, what the fuck is going on with him? 0.99

02:39:48.000 And it drives the radio guy, I think, probably crazy. 0.99

02:39:52.000 Does he know that the guy's doing it though?

02:39:54.000 Or does he just think that he's becoming disproportional?

02:39:57.000 Yeah, I think he knows.

02:39:58.000 Okay.

02:39:58.000 Well, some of the pictures of the guy's more obvious, and some of them he's more subtle.

02:40:02.000 But the fact that...

02:40:04.000 That's not what he really looks like.

02:40:06.000 But the fact that someone could take what you look like and make it different...

02:40:11.000 But just slightly. 1.00

02:40:12.000 But just slightly will fuck with you. 1.00

02:40:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:40:14.000 That's weird. 1.00

02:40:15.000 That's weird. 0.99

02:40:17.000 It's weird that you know your ears aren't too big, but if somebody stretches your ears out just a little bit and makes them poke out of your hair, you're like, what the fuck? 0.99

02:40:24.000 What's going on with my ears? 0.92

02:40:26.000 The Photoshop thing is a weird thing.

02:40:30.000 It's weird that people could do that.

02:40:31.000 It's also weird that people use it to manipulate their own image.

02:40:34.000 I know a male comedian who smooths his skin out and does a glamour filter on his pictures.

02:40:41.000 It looks so...

02:40:42.000 Bad. 1.00

02:40:43.000 Fake as fuck. 1.00

02:40:44.000 Yes. 1.00

02:40:44.000 It looks bizarre. 1.00

02:40:46.000 Like super...

02:40:47.000 And then you see him in real life.

02:40:48.000 You're like, hey. 1.00

02:40:49.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:40:50.000 What are you... 1.00

02:40:50.000 Right. 1.00

02:40:51.000 Do you have chicken pox since last time I saw your photos? 1.00

02:40:55.000 Did you get in a fight with a fucking salt gun? 1.00

02:40:57.000 There's... 1.00

02:40:58.000 I think...

02:41:00.000 Those things, the ability to manipulate faces and the Photoshop thing and what they do to models, you know, where they thin out their waist and widen their butts.

02:41:09.000 Have you seen those reality versus the Photoshop images?

02:41:13.000 Yes, it's always overwhelming the amount of stuff that's changed.

02:41:16.000 And then, I wish I could remember what I was watching, but it was something where they were showing that they can do this to moving images.

02:41:22.000 So movies, you know, like they showed the real version of the actress in whatever movie versus what you saw on screen.

02:41:28.000 And it was sort of the equivalent of the photoshopped magazine cover.

02:41:33.000 Yeah.

02:41:33.000 I mean, we're going to get to a point very soon where actors are unnecessary.

02:41:37.000 Because if you look at some of the incredible CGI that they're able to do now, where they're so close to absolutely recreating a human being, they're not going to need actors, maybe voiceover actors.

02:41:51.000 And then even that, maybe they'll get to their point where their audio software can manipulate the human voice in the same way that you could do with music software, where you could use GarageBand and create songs without knowing any guitars.

02:42:05.000 So, actors who are listening, time to start a podcast.

02:42:09.000 Ha! 1.00

02:42:09.000 It's almost over, bitches. 1.00

02:42:11.000 But it's not, because you're never going to be able to recreate a Daniel Day-Lewis. 0.97

02:42:15.000 Someone who can go that deep into something.

02:42:17.000 It's almost...

02:42:19.000 It's almost like until he does it, you don't know it can be done.

02:42:24.000 His intense commitment to a character is so bizarre.

02:42:30.000 And it's also part of what you love about watching that guy in a movie is that you know that's Daniel Day-Lewis.

02:42:36.000 You know, doing that first, not first blood, what is it called?

02:42:39.000 There Will Be Blood.

02:42:41.000 There Will Be Blood character.

02:42:43.000 Like, you know that's him.

02:42:44.000 You know that's Daniel Day-Lewis. 1.00

02:42:46.000 But you also completely believe he's this fucking guy. 1.00

02:42:49.000 Right. 1.00

02:42:50.000 And it's half of the thrill.

02:42:51.000 It's not just that someone does the Cirque du Soleil.

02:42:57.000 You know, like, look at the guy Flip.

02:42:58.000 You know that that's a person that had to practice that.

02:43:01.000 And they had to get so proficient that they could do something that looks impossible.

02:43:05.000 Right.

02:43:06.000 And then do it line by line out of order.

02:43:11.000 That's something I was thinking about recently.

02:43:14.000 I think my conception of acting is almost like comes from a theater world where it's like you put on a costume and then you go be a different person for two hours or whatever.

02:43:25.000 Like a theater movie amalgam.

02:43:28.000 But I shot this pilot recently And, you know, everything was shot out of order, as things are when they're shot.

02:43:36.000 And it kind of gave me this insight into like, oh, so much of the skill is just your ability to pick it up out of order and act it out, even though, you know, it's so piecemeal.

02:43:51.000 Yeah.

02:43:52.000 Well, when Daniel Day-Lewis did the Lincoln movie, apparently, he was in character as Lincoln the entire time.

02:43:58.000 Talked to people as Lincoln.

02:43:59.000 Everything he did as Lincoln.

02:44:00.000 He ate as Lincoln.

02:44:01.000 Went to bed as Lincoln.

02:44:03.000 Woke up as Lincoln.

02:44:04.000 That's crazy.

02:44:04.000 It's a little much.

02:44:06.000 I agree. 0.98

02:44:07.000 Probably a nutty dude to hang around with. 0.96

02:44:09.000 Probably super annoying in that way.

02:44:11.000 Does Christian Bale do that kind of stuff too?

02:44:14.000 You hear stories.

02:44:15.000 In some way.

02:44:15.000 I mean, you saw The Machinist.

02:44:17.000 Did you ever see that movie?

02:44:18.000 You never saw that?

02:44:18.000 No, I know I should though.

02:44:20.000 It's on my list.

02:44:20.000 Do you know what he did?

02:44:21.000 He lost a whole bunch of weight, right?

02:44:24.000 He got to death's door.

02:44:26.000 I mean, literally got to death's door.

02:44:28.000 He looked like an Auschwitz victim. 0.79

02:44:30.000 I mean, it's...

02:44:31.000 I don't know how a person allows themselves to do that.

02:44:35.000 There we are.

02:44:36.000 That's not a good image, Jamie.

02:44:38.000 That's not a real image from the movie.

02:44:39.000 That's like a digital recreation.

02:44:41.000 That's him for real.

02:44:42.000 Oh yeah, I saw.

02:44:44.000 I've seen that picture. 1.00

02:44:45.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

02:44:46.000 I mean, he got to the point where his body was shriveled away. 1.00

02:44:50.000 He had no body fat and he was dying. 1.00

02:44:53.000 He played a guy with severe insomnia that started to have hallucinations and was losing his fucking mind. 1.00

02:45:02.000 Really crazy shit. 0.99

02:45:05.000 Someone takes it to that level, but that's like one of the badges of honor when it comes to those types of actors. 1.00

02:45:12.000 Robert De Niro used to do that.

02:45:14.000 Remember in Ranging Bull?

02:45:15.000 He got an incredible shape, he got really lean, looked like a boxer, and then, for the end of the movie, got really fat.

02:45:21.000 He played Jake LaMotte all swollen and filled with spaghetti.

02:45:26.000 But who was it who had that famous quip who's like, why don't you just try acting?

02:45:31.000 Yeah, I forget who it was.

02:45:33.000 I want to say Sir Laurence Olivier.

02:45:35.000 That's what I want to say too.

02:45:36.000 Let's just say it, whether it's true or not.

02:45:38.000 Yeah, but meanwhile, what if Sir Laurence Olivier played Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull?

02:45:43.000 Would it have sucked?

02:45:44.000 Would it not have been as good? 0.97

02:45:45.000 I suspect it would not have been as good.

02:45:47.000 Probably what not have been.

02:45:49.000 When he played that guy in Cape Fear, to get in the kind of shape that he got in, remember when he was doing those chin-ups?

02:45:58.000 You believe that he was this rage-filled ex-con that was coming to get revenge.

02:46:04.000 It seems like he approached life that way.

02:46:08.000 It wasn't just that he was acting.

02:46:10.000 It's like he had adopted this mindset and had it fully ingrained into who he was portraying on screen.

02:46:17.000 It's why those movies are so good.

02:46:19.000 Maybe that is the difference between, you know, superstar, powerhouse, really compelling acting and just sort of average acting is that they really are living it versus they're acting it out in a moment.

02:46:32.000 Yeah.

02:46:33.000 I mean, you have to take it to the utmost, but that's also why it's so frustrating to watch Robert De Niro in The Intern.

02:46:39.000 Like, Jesus Christ.

02:46:40.000 Did you see that?

02:46:41.000 No.

02:46:42.000 I watched the clips of it on an airplane. 0.99

02:46:44.000 I was like, what the fuck am I... I took my headphones off. 0.99

02:46:46.000 What the fuck am I watching? 0.99

02:46:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:46:48.000 Stupid-ass movie. 1.00

02:46:49.000 But it's just, like, this is a guy that was a part of, like, some of the great cinematic masterpieces. 1.00

02:46:54.000 He was in The Godfather.

02:46:56.000 He was in Raging Bull.

02:46:58.000 I mean, he just, like, the list goes on.

02:47:00.000 Taxi Driver. 0.99

02:47:01.000 I mean, he was in some fucking masterpieces. 0.99

02:47:05.000 Meet the Fockers. 0.99

02:47:06.000 Wasn't he in that?

02:47:07.000 Yeah.

02:47:08.000 Probably where it started.

02:47:09.000 You probably realize, like, I don't even have to act. 1.00

02:47:11.000 Just remember these stupid words they want me to say and just get some fat money. 1.00

02:47:16.000 Huh? 1.00

02:47:17.000 Yeah, maybe.

02:47:18.000 I don't know.

02:47:19.000 Yeah.

02:47:20.000 Well, that's kind of like, I feel like Al Pacino has just become a caricature of Al Pacino.

02:47:25.000 Well, he has a rant, like, clause in every contract.

02:47:28.000 Where's my rant?!

02:47:30.000 He's got a rant in every fucking movie. 1.00

02:47:33.000 It all started from that devil movie when we played the devil. 1.00

02:47:36.000 Remember when he had to go on that long ass rant as the devil? 0.98

02:47:39.000 Come on. 1.00

02:47:39.000 As if the devil would have some verbose bullshit ass rant. 1.00

02:47:43.000 Right. 1.00

02:47:43.000 The devil doesn't need words. 1.00

02:47:44.000 Oh, but he's good at words. 0.92

02:47:46.000 The devil just eat a plate of babies in front of you. 0.70

02:47:48.000 He doesn't have to say anything. 1.00

02:47:50.000 Then shit fire. 1.00

02:47:51.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:47:52.000 Exactly.

02:47:54.000 I gotta get out of here, Alison Rosen.

02:47:56.000 This is fun.

02:47:57.000 Thank you so much.

02:47:57.000 I would love to.

02:47:58.000 And people can get your podcast everywhere, right?

02:48:00.000 Yes.

02:48:01.000 iTunes.com slash Alison Rosen or AlisonRosen.com or everywhere. 1.00

02:48:07.000 Everywhere, fuckers. 1.00

02:48:08.000 So wherever you are, Alison Rosen is your best friend. 1.00

02:48:11.000 Is your new best friend, but also your best friend.

02:48:14.000 Yeah.

02:48:14.000 Well, okay.

02:48:15.000 There you go.

02:48:15.000 Thank you.

02:48:16.000 Thank you for having me.

02:48:17.000 My pleasure. 0.99

02:48:18.000 See you next week, you fucks. 1.00

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 11, 2016

Joe Rogan Experience #798 - Alison Rosen

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