The Joe Rogan Experience - June 21, 2016


Joe Rogan Experience #811 - Jim Breuer

Topics
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Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Jim Breuer
Mentioned
Bigfoot Donald Trump Jesus Christ Kennedy Obama Vince McMahon Jamie Dude Hulk Hogan Charlie Prescott Bush John Lennon Robert Von Beringe Lee Harvey Oswald Bobcat Goldthwait Hillary Clinton Tim Heidecker Guido Orlandi Jim Brewer Axl Rose and 73 more
Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - June 18, 2016 - Part 1 Joe Rogan Experience #814 - Ari Shaffir

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 41 minutes

Words per minute

180.27

Word count

29,186

Sentence count

4,043

Harmful content

Misogyny

129

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,072

sentences flagged

Hate speech

84

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Comedian and actor Dave Chappelle stopped by The Late Show with David Letterman s office to reminisce about his days in the early days of stand-up comedy. Dave also reminisced about his time on the hit TV show Hardball and how he got into martial arts. Dave and Dave also talked about how they first met and became friends and how they became fast friends. Dave also shared some of his favorite memories of growing up in New York and Dave's early days as a comedian. The guys also discussed how they met and fell in love with each other and how Dave became one of the funniest people I've ever met. They also discussed some of their favorite memories together and what it was like growing up together in the 90s and early 2000s. And of course, some of Dave's favorite memories from his days on Hardball. This episode was brought to you by Comedy Central and produced by LaCie. Thanks to everyone for all your support, stay tuned in and stay tuned for Part 2 next week for the next episode of Comedy Central's Hardball with Dave Chapele and Dave Chapelle. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, Share, and Subscribe to Comedy Central. It's a great place to find out what's going on in the world of comedy and standup comedy and what they're listening to! and what's trending! and more! You can be a part of something bigger than just comedy and it's better than you know who's listening to it! . Thank you for listening and supporting us! Cheers, EJ & Dave is a big thank you! -Jon Sorrenta Jon Sorrentino -Drew is a good friend of mine and I hope you enjoy this episode. - Jon is a very good friend and I can't wait to see you in the future of comedy, too! -Jon is a friend of yours, too. Jon is an amazing and I know he's a good guy and I'm going to help you grow a little more than that's good at it too! Jon will be back in the next one... - JUICY!! -JON is going to be back soon! -JORDY AND JORDY BONUS CONTENT: JON IS BACK!

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 I'll never forget.
00:00:00.000 Five, four, three, two, one.
00:00:04.000 Yes! 0.97
00:00:06.000 How the fuck has it been so many years and you haven't been on here? 1.00
00:00:10.000 This is ridiculous. 0.99
00:00:11.000 Timing, everything. 0.91
00:00:12.000 There's times you go super busy.
00:00:15.000 And you too.
00:00:16.000 It's really good seeing you. 0.95
00:00:17.000 It's fucking awesome seeing you, man. 0.94
00:00:18.000 It's really awesome seeing you. 0.96
00:00:20.000 This is a weird thing because we're having this conversation and people are listening to it, but at the same time...
00:00:25.000 You know, you're one of my favorite people, and I've fucking known you forever. 0.94
00:00:28.000 We were friends when we were both hungry, scrappy, young comedians with no idea what the fuck was going to happen. 0.98
00:00:36.000 Right. 0.98
00:00:37.000 You know, we were both like, well, what the fuck is going to happen in the future? 0.97
00:00:41.000 You know? 0.75
00:00:42.000 There's a bond that you have with people that, like, you and I were essentially in the same place in our lives, in the same place in our comedy careers, at the same time.
00:00:52.000 And, you know, I tell everyone...
00:00:55.000 What I liked about you, how real and honest you were. 0.92
00:00:59.000 And you were also like, all you want to do is play pool, which I didn't know shit about pool.
00:01:04.000 And you're like, dude, it's alright, it's alright, we're going to play pool. 1.00
00:01:07.000 And I would suck! 0.99
00:01:08.000 And I could tell you'd get bored real quick. 1.00
00:01:11.000 You'd go to pool halls, and you'd fucking work out. 0.97
00:01:14.000 Dude, you want to go to the gym? 0.99
00:01:16.000 Like, alright, we'll go to the gym.
00:01:17.000 But you'd be there for like an hour and a half.
00:01:20.000 And I gotta say, as I watched your whole career grow and grow and grow, I can tell when the fighting came along, the UFC, am I wrong to say you probably were the happiest?
00:01:34.000 That was not the greatest job for you ever.
00:01:37.000 It was pretty fucking awesome. 0.80
00:01:38.000 Because you never changed. 0.93
00:01:39.000 All I knew you as...
00:01:41.000 A tough guy, honest guy, played billiards, worked out. 0.99
00:01:46.000 I've heard you say, dude, I'll fucking choke you out right now. 0.98
00:01:49.000 This guy's... 0.99
00:01:50.000 Dude, we're at a craft table for a Disney show.
00:01:54.000 What show is this?
00:01:56.000 What was the baseball show?
00:01:59.000 Oh, hardball.
00:02:00.000 That's right, dude. 1.00
00:02:00.000 You were the fucking pioneer. 1.00
00:02:02.000 Horrifying. 1.00
00:02:03.000 Dude, I have a photo of us.
00:02:05.000 It's a monkey.
00:02:06.000 I have a photo of us that I have to bring in.
00:02:08.000 I have to bring it in. 1.00
00:02:10.000 Fuck! 1.00
00:02:11.000 I know exactly where I put it. 1.00
00:02:13.000 I don't have to find it.
00:02:13.000 I know exactly.
00:02:14.000 It's you and me from, like, 1993. We look like babies.
00:02:18.000 We are babies!
00:02:19.000 We look like babies.
00:02:21.000 And with Ruthann.
00:02:22.000 Remember?
00:02:23.000 The agent?
00:02:23.000 Yes!
00:02:24.000 Yes!
00:02:24.000 Yeah, dude.
00:02:26.000 Dude, that was a funny role.
00:02:28.000 That was one of my favorite examples of a show that could have been a really funny show written by really funny guys, and the networks just jizzed all over it. 0.99
00:02:38.000 They just stuck their own thumb up their ass. 0.99
00:02:41.000 Just, oh, this is mine now! 1.00
00:02:44.000 And they ruined it.
00:02:46.000 They ruined it.
00:02:48.000 Dude.
00:02:48.000 But you were there at the pilot.
00:02:50.000 But you're on the craft line.
00:02:54.000 All right.
00:02:54.000 Craft services.
00:02:55.000 Which, to me, that was the greatest part of even filming anything.
00:02:58.000 I was still, I was still, this is free.
00:03:02.000 Like, oh my god. 0.98
00:03:02.000 So there was a guy, young fucking little guy, just, he probably wants to be an actor, but he's serving rice to us. 0.98
00:03:10.000 And he has a shirt that says, I love karate. 0.99
00:03:13.000 And you... 1.00
00:03:15.000 Just fucking this. 1.00
00:03:17.000 Here it comes. 1.00
00:03:17.000 You're all hopped up. 1.00
00:03:20.000 And he goes, dude, you take karate?
00:03:22.000 And the kid goes, yeah.
00:03:24.000 Dude, I don't know if he said kickboxing or whatever he said. 0.98
00:03:30.000 Karate sucks. 1.00
00:03:31.000 It's the fucking worst. 1.00
00:03:34.000 There's no way you're not mischaracterizing this conversation. 1.00
00:03:37.000 No!
00:03:37.000 There's no way it happened like that.
00:03:40.000 Like, I just walked up to a guy dealing rice and was like, dude, karate sucks.
00:03:43.000 No, no, no. 0.58
00:03:43.000 He had a shirt. 0.58
00:03:45.000 He had a karate shirt.
00:03:46.000 Right.
00:03:46.000 And that was enough to set me off?
00:03:48.000 No, no, no.
00:03:48.000 You started poking questions for him.
00:03:50.000 You were, like, asking his intelligence.
00:03:52.000 You said, okay, man, what's your, uh...
00:03:55.000 We'll get you into karate.
00:03:57.000 And then he would go something like, you know, I like the martial arts.
00:04:00.000 And then you would say, dude, you should take this.
00:04:02.000 And he'd be like, nah, I think karate guy would win it. 0.99
00:04:04.000 And then I saw you just like, dude, I'm telling you right now, fucking crush you. 0.93
00:04:10.000 But the point of the conversation was, I couldn't, I just never saw anyone like you in my life. 1.00
00:04:17.000 I... You're like a fucking... 1.00
00:04:20.000 That moment we go, this guy is so... 1.00
00:04:24.000 You were fearless.
00:04:26.000 I've never seen anyone so fearless in my life.
00:04:29.000 And I've always looked up to you for that. 0.89
00:04:32.000 Sounds like I'm a douchebag. 0.93
00:04:34.000 No, it doesn't!
00:04:35.000 I've definitely never been fearless.
00:04:36.000 I'm not a fearless person.
00:04:37.000 Is that how you just took that?
00:04:38.000 No, no.
00:04:39.000 Okay.
00:04:40.000 No, no.
00:04:41.000 Alright.
00:04:41.000 No, not at all.
00:04:42.000 I'm fucking around. 0.98
00:04:43.000 But I've never been fearless. 0.99
00:04:45.000 I'm scared of everything.
00:04:46.000 But this is how you respond to it.
00:04:49.000 It's how you respond to fear.
00:04:51.000 Whether or not you're scared of the unknown.
00:04:53.000 Right.
00:04:54.000 You know?
00:04:54.000 Most people shy away from the unknown, you know?
00:04:59.000 That is very true.
00:05:00.000 Well, it's hard to get honest because sometimes there's a lot of deeper factors and there's a lot of eyes on you.
00:05:06.000 You know, if your kids' eyes are on you, you want to expose them to stuff, so it's a little like I'm afeard to be...
00:05:12.000 I fear being a little too honest at times.
00:05:15.000 Right, I see what you're saying.
00:05:16.000 But I don't know if that's right or wrong.
00:05:18.000 Right, I know, but you're kind of protecting yourself, or your kids, in a lot of ways, from how you are, because you don't want them to kind of be as wild and crazy as you were when you were young, like with the pot thing and stuff like that.
00:05:31.000 Well, like, here, let me ask you this.
00:05:33.000 Okay.
00:05:34.000 If you're...
00:05:36.000 Let's see, how old you have...
00:05:40.000 How old...
00:05:40.000 Three daughters.
00:05:41.000 Okay.
00:05:42.000 Okay.
00:05:43.000 I have three daughters.
00:05:44.000 If one daughter goes...
00:05:45.000 And you can tell they're starting to kind of get into pot.
00:05:47.000 Right.
00:05:49.000 They want to grow faster.
00:05:51.000 You want to let them...
00:05:52.000 Don't you think you were doing it when you were like 14?
00:05:54.000 Yeah.
00:05:54.000 14, no.
00:05:55.000 I'm going to say...
00:05:59.000 17 is...
00:06:00.000 I was a late bloomer.
00:06:01.000 See, I got into it a little bit with some friends when I was like 12 and 13. Yeah.
00:06:06.000 We got some pot.
00:06:07.000 12?
00:06:08.000 Yeah.
00:06:09.000 Wow.
00:06:09.000 Yeah.
00:06:10.000 But I didn't get it. 0.99
00:06:12.000 Damn, that's my middle daughter. 1.00
00:06:13.000 Yeah, it happens, dude. 1.00
00:06:15.000 You leave them alone. 1.00
00:06:16.000 Leave those little fuckers alone. 1.00
00:06:17.000 They get a hold of some music. 1.00
00:06:20.000 That's what it is, man. 0.99
00:06:22.000 You know, with us, we would go over to this fucking dude's house, and we'd listen to Bad Company, and we'd get some pot. 0.98
00:06:31.000 See, I was still into sports at that time, so when I discovered it, I was into the metal. 0.98
00:06:40.000 Right.
00:06:41.000 So we would go in the basement, and we'd turn on, and when I heard, and I don't know if that's another weird part of me, why was I attracted to that?
00:06:50.000 I heard that fast, furious, and that made me apeshit.
00:06:56.000 It's great for a young guy. 0.97
00:06:58.000 For a young guy, that's the music that sort of represents your hormones.
00:07:02.000 You know? 1.00
00:07:08.000 You're fucking 17, you're like, yeah! 1.00
00:07:12.000 And also, you're suppressed all the time. 1.00
00:07:15.000 Everyone's like, calm down.
00:07:16.000 Settle down.
00:07:17.000 Not so loud.
00:07:18.000 Right. 1.00
00:07:19.000 Stop fucking each other. 1.00
00:07:20.000 Hold on! 1.00
00:07:22.000 And then some music comes out.
00:07:24.000 And it just, you know...
00:07:26.000 It releases all that madness.
00:07:27.000 Yeah, it comes out.
00:07:29.000 You can feel it.
00:07:30.000 You feel the music understands you.
00:07:33.000 I know, but I fear...
00:07:34.000 Here's my biggest fear as a dad. 1.00
00:07:37.000 Getting addicted to shit. 1.00
00:07:39.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:07:40.000 And getting pregnant.
00:07:42.000 Yeah, well those things are both the realities that everybody faces when you're young.
00:07:47.000 You know, and also biologically everybody faces it seems like with pills.
00:07:51.000 I know so many people that have gotten addicted to pills.
00:07:55.000 I mean, it's an epidemic.
00:07:58.000 I've known, if I had to sit down, out of all the people that I've been close enough to to call on a regular base and say, how you doing, what's going on, you know, have a conversation with them, maybe a dozen have been hooked on pills.
00:08:10.000 And I know three people that have died from it.
00:08:13.000 Well, there weren't, I don't remember pills when we were kids.
00:08:18.000 They didn't happen.
00:08:19.000 They didn't exist at all.
00:08:20.000 Well, there was some... 0.97
00:08:21.000 You would hear, like, some people would get in, like, Vicodins and shit like that, but those were always, like, crazy people. 0.96
00:08:27.000 Don't you think, kind of, though, because they're all prescription pills, most of them. 0.89
00:08:33.000 Yeah.
00:08:34.000 Yeah, no.
00:08:35.000 Yeah, no, absolutely.
00:08:36.000 Definitely, right?
00:08:36.000 Definitely.
00:08:37.000 So if they're prescribed, doesn't it seem as like, oh, they figured out how to legalize really bad drugs?
00:08:45.000 Yeah, well, they definitely did.
00:08:47.000 They figured out a loophole.
00:08:48.000 And they'll trust us more because we'll wear these white lab coats.
00:08:51.000 And we hand it to them and we write out the little card and just take three of these a week.
00:08:57.000 He'll never be able to stop.
00:08:59.000 That's another suppressed guy.
00:09:00.000 I bet that guy listens to some death metal from Finland. 1.00
00:09:04.000 And he gets in his fucking car after selling heroin all day with a lab coat on. 1.00
00:09:15.000 That's a dark way to make a living. 1.00
00:09:17.000 Hope your back feels better!
00:09:17.000 There was an article about this one family.
00:09:19.000 That's messed up.
00:09:20.000 It's insane.
00:09:21.000 There was an article about this one family that has a, um...
00:09:25.000 Has, like, a giant stake in that market, and they've made billions and billions of dollars.
00:09:30.000 And it was breaking down, like, how much money they made, and how many people are hooked on it, how many prescriptions there are.
00:09:35.000 And it's like, they're drug dealers.
00:09:37.000 Legalized.
00:09:38.000 Yeah.
00:09:38.000 Well, if you looked at this in the future, like, when they look back and they say, oh, remember those opium dens that the cowboys had?
00:09:44.000 Remember from Wyatt Earp?
00:09:45.000 Was it Wyatt Earp? 0.99
00:09:47.000 Wild Bill Hickok, one of them fucking movies, they went to the opium den, the Chinese people got them all fucked up on opium, and we were like, whoa, those are dark times. 1.00
00:09:55.000 This is way worse than that! 1.00
00:09:57.000 I agree.
00:09:58.000 And it's happened underneath our noses.
00:10:03.000 But don't you think, how do you stop that?
00:10:06.000 That's a good question.
00:10:07.000 Because you can talk about it forever, and I think...
00:10:11.000 I think you've talked about it enough.
00:10:12.000 I even brought up to people, and it's sort of the old, again, you face it, what do you do now?
00:10:18.000 We can talk about it forever, but what do you actually do?
00:10:21.000 Do you just talk about it?
00:10:22.000 Let it seep into people?
00:10:25.000 You think he's telling the truth, or you think they know what they're saying?
00:10:28.000 Let them decide for themselves?
00:10:31.000 Anything you're going to let your kid figure out for themselves, you're depriving them of information, right?
00:10:37.000 So I think what you've got to do is be really honest about it.
00:10:41.000 And with my oldest daughter, the young girls don't know that I smoked the weed, but we just had conversations about it.
00:10:48.000 I said, listen, there are some things that are dangerous, and there are some things that are just not dangerous at all.
00:10:53.000 And pot is the one that's not dangerous at all.
00:10:56.000 Like, my wife and I had a conversation with her about it, and, you know, it's a weird sort of a conversation, because you're talking to someone who's on the verge of being an adult.
00:11:05.000 Right.
00:11:06.000 So you're kind of bullshitting them still, but not really.
00:11:09.000 Of course.
00:11:09.000 Whereas if they were an adult, you'd be like, look, pot's not hurting anybody.
00:11:12.000 I smoke pot before I go to bed.
00:11:13.000 I do, too.
00:11:14.000 And then everybody would laugh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you know what, for me, I like it right before I have a little nookie-nookie, you know what I'm saying?
00:11:19.000 And then, you know, you have these little conversations with people, with adults.
00:11:22.000 But when the kids are like, shh, shh, Shh!
00:11:23.000 They're coming in!
00:11:24.000 They're coming!
00:11:25.000 Don't tell them!
00:11:26.000 Don't tell them!
00:11:26.000 Right.
00:11:27.000 You want to keep somehow or another this innocuous thing from the kids.
00:11:31.000 But meanwhile, you'll sip a glass of wine in front of them.
00:11:33.000 I'll drink a glass of wine from my kids all the time.
00:11:35.000 I've let them try wine.
00:11:37.000 I've let them try a sip of wine.
00:11:38.000 Try it. 0.80
00:11:38.000 Oh, disgusting! 0.80
00:11:40.000 And then it becomes a funny thing they talk about.
00:11:42.000 Remember that time I tried the wine?
00:11:43.000 Oh my god, so gross!
00:11:45.000 But it's socially accepted. 0.95
00:11:47.000 Yeah. 0.97
00:11:48.000 To let them taste how disgusting adults taste in beverages are. 0.93
00:11:52.000 But smoking pot in front of them or around them would be horrific. 1.00
00:11:57.000 It's so foolish. 0.99
00:11:58.000 Did you know? 1.00
00:12:00.000 Did you know anyone?
00:12:01.000 I remember I knew a kid and he was up the street and he smoked pot with his parents.
00:12:08.000 And they said, oh man, you gotta go in there and smoke pot with your parents.
00:12:11.000 My initial, I don't know, my instinct was like, oh, that's weird.
00:12:16.000 It's just weird.
00:12:17.000 I can't have, that's weird.
00:12:19.000 I guess it is.
00:12:20.000 But I don't know.
00:12:22.000 Yeah.
00:12:22.000 I mean, it's not really.
00:12:24.000 If having a drink with your dad's not weird, how come you can't, having a beer with your dad is not weird, right?
00:12:30.000 I'll give you for instance.
00:12:31.000 Okay.
00:12:31.000 Sorry.
00:12:32.000 My dad?
00:12:35.000 He never drank with me.
00:12:37.000 He never said...
00:12:38.000 But he was... 1.00
00:12:39.000 Everyone else would say, this guy is fucking... 1.00
00:12:42.000 Like, Brewers, you're dead. 1.00
00:12:43.000 This guy's nuts. 1.00
00:12:44.000 Like, my father's nuts? 1.00
00:12:45.000 I didn't see that side of him at all. 0.90
00:12:47.000 So...
00:12:49.000 Not until it was my 21st birthday. 1.00
00:12:52.000 I just knew him as his fucking dad. 1.00
00:12:55.000 World War II vet and shit like that. 1.00
00:12:57.000 Serious guy. 0.99
00:12:58.000 Very serious.
00:12:59.000 Never laughed in his life.
00:13:00.000 I think he laughed twice.
00:13:02.000 The filthier, the funnier.
00:13:04.000 And his laugh was just like, that was killing him. 1.00
00:13:08.000 You're fucking killing him. 1.00
00:13:11.000 I swear to God. 1.00
00:13:16.000 When I was 21...
00:13:20.000 He said, let's go have a beer.
00:13:21.000 You're a man now.
00:13:23.000 So we went to this place, Swamp Water Owls.
00:13:26.000 I was in Florida.
00:13:28.000 And went out and had a couple beers.
00:13:31.000 He's saying some...
00:13:32.000 He doesn't talk. 1.00
00:13:34.000 He'll say stupid jokes. 1.00
00:13:36.000 And I don't really understand. 1.00
00:13:38.000 So I'm bored.
00:13:39.000 I go outside, catch a buzz. 0.99
00:13:42.000 This will help the fucking night. 1.00
00:13:44.000 I come back in. 1.00
00:13:45.000 Catch a buzz, mean, smoke a little weed.
00:13:46.000 Yes.
00:13:47.000 I come back in, and there's a crowd around him.
00:13:52.000 And I swear to God, because he was older, I thought he was down.
00:13:56.000 Everyone was looking at the old man on the floor. 0.98
00:13:58.000 I go there, and he's fucking holding court with the whole bar. 1.00
00:14:03.000 And he's killing. 1.00
00:14:04.000 He's destroying. 0.86
00:14:06.000 And... 1.00
00:14:08.000 So then I turned around like, who is this fucking guy? 0.99
00:14:11.000 I want to hire him. 0.99
00:14:12.000 He's fucking hilarious. 0.97
00:14:13.000 And I just couldn't understand. 0.98
00:14:14.000 I never saw this man.
00:14:16.000 So I had a beer.
00:14:17.000 He had a beer.
00:14:18.000 We caught buzzes.
00:14:19.000 And I never saw my father as funny.
00:14:22.000 And I said, why didn't you show me this side early?
00:14:26.000 I would hear this from all my friends. 0.99
00:14:28.000 He goes, you weren't fucking ready. 0.99
00:14:30.000 LAUGHTER That's hilarious! 0.99
00:14:37.000 But I kind of feel that way with certain kids.
00:14:41.000 Do you know what I mean? 1.00
00:14:42.000 Where I can see this fucker... 1.00
00:14:44.000 Like, for instance, I can say, I think this kid... 1.00
00:14:48.000 You know what?
00:14:49.000 If they go in that direction, I think they'll be okay.
00:14:53.000 This one...
00:14:54.000 It's not so much doing it, it's...
00:14:57.000 This one ain't gonna stop.
00:14:59.000 Yeah, they do have different personalities like that, right?
00:15:02.000 Yeah, and you've seen, like, it's almost like, I'm gonna let you out of the fence. 0.99
00:15:07.000 Don't, listen, don't go past that fucking tree. 0.99
00:15:11.000 They're in the woods. 1.00
00:15:12.000 Fucker went in the woods. 1.00
00:15:13.000 Did I not say don't go in the fucking, he's in the woods. 1.00
00:15:17.000 And then they come back like, oh, I'm sorry. 0.99
00:15:20.000 It's, Yeah.
00:15:22.000 I fear this one's gonna go whoosh.
00:15:25.000 Some kids' freedom is super intoxicating.
00:15:27.000 You gotta wonder what it is.
00:15:29.000 Is it anything that we set up in those kids when they were young?
00:15:32.000 Did we suppress them too much and so they just had this intense desire to be free?
00:15:37.000 Because I think there's something to that.
00:15:39.000 This desire to protect someone It kind of backfires when you're raising kids in some ways.
00:15:46.000 Because if you try to protect them too much, then they resent you.
00:15:50.000 And then they push back the other way.
00:15:53.000 That's why, like, girls who have, like, really strict parents when it comes to sex were always, like, the biggest freaks. 1.00
00:16:00.000 Like, we all knew that.
00:16:01.000 Right?
00:16:01.000 Catholic school girls were the biggest freaks of all time.
00:16:05.000 It wasn't even close. 0.65
00:16:07.000 Yeah.
00:16:07.000 Well, it was that, or, like, a broken home.
00:16:10.000 Yeah.
00:16:10.000 Yeah.
00:16:11.000 No one's around.
00:16:13.000 I hate daddy.
00:16:15.000 Well, it's only any negative pressure, right? 0.95
00:16:19.000 Any negative comes out in one way or another.
00:16:21.000 It might come out like you, in humor, or it might come out in anger, it might come out in addiction. 0.98
00:16:26.000 But any negative pressure that you experience as a child, whether it's bullying, going to a new neighborhood, parents break up, no attention, alcoholism in the family, whatever the fuck it is, it just finds its way to the sun. 0.97
00:16:45.000 You know? 0.97
00:16:46.000 You're right.
00:16:46.000 That's where all our music comes from.
00:16:48.000 I mean, that's where all the best stuff comes from.
00:16:50.000 It comes from some kind of pain.
00:16:53.000 Some kind of, like, need to never feel that pain again.
00:16:55.000 Need to celebrate the happiness of life because you felt that pain and you understand it.
00:17:03.000 Right?
00:17:03.000 Isn't that what...
00:17:04.000 No, it definitely is.
00:17:04.000 How high am I? No, no, no.
00:17:06.000 But you try to...
00:17:07.000 When did it start with you?
00:17:09.000 Like, when's the first time where you saw something?
00:17:11.000 You went, oh my...
00:17:12.000 Whoa.
00:17:13.000 With kids?
00:17:14.000 Yeah.
00:17:15.000 From the jump, dude.
00:17:18.000 Just from the jump.
00:17:19.000 Just from the time they're little tiny babies.
00:17:21.000 You start looking at them and you go, these are little calculating beings.
00:17:25.000 This isn't simply a baby.
00:17:27.000 Like, we have these narrow classifications for human beings.
00:17:30.000 Like, oh, he's an old man. 1.00
00:17:32.000 He wouldn't try to fuck her. 1.00
00:17:34.000 Or, he's a young kid. 1.00
00:17:37.000 He doesn't understand. 1.00
00:17:38.000 No, they fucking understand. 1.00
00:17:39.000 They understand. 0.99
00:17:40.000 They just don't have all the words yet.
00:17:42.000 They understand a lot more than you think they do.
00:17:45.000 And they're just constantly calculating.
00:17:47.000 They're constantly taking in data.
00:17:49.000 And we're still doing it, man.
00:17:51.000 I mean, you and I are better at talking now in our 40s than we were in our 20s.
00:17:57.000 You just brought back...
00:18:00.000 I feel like I just went to therapy.
00:18:02.000 This is amazing.
00:18:03.000 I just found where my anger came.
00:18:05.000 While you were talking, I was getting visuals and flashbacks of where it really started.
00:18:10.000 My sister, I remember my sister got horrible divorce.
00:18:16.000 Horrible divorce.
00:18:17.000 She was getting hit.
00:18:19.000 Right?
00:18:19.000 So I just remember my mom getting those phone calls and blah blah blah.
00:18:24.000 And...
00:18:26.000 Dude, it's so...
00:18:27.000 It's not funny, but...
00:18:29.000 So, I remember going there.
00:18:31.000 We'd go in the middle of the night, get there, and, you know, she'd be bruised. 0.99
00:18:34.000 You could tell she was hit, which is already... 0.99
00:18:37.000 You're fucking traumatized. 0.99
00:18:39.000 You're seven, eight years old. 0.99
00:18:43.000 And you just...
00:18:44.000 You witness the violence.
00:18:46.000 And then, um... 0.99
00:18:48.000 I remember the fucker came at the house, didn't know we were there. 0.99
00:18:53.000 And my dad was like, hey man, why don't you be a man? 1.00
00:18:57.000 Why don't you be a man? 0.99
00:18:58.000 And he said, if you were an old man, I'd fucking make you eat them words. 0.99
00:19:03.000 I remember my father going, he's trying to get out. 0.99
00:19:06.000 My mom's like, gotcha, you know, don't fucking, please, please. 1.00
00:19:08.000 But I remember that anger. 0.99
00:19:12.000 And then that's how I discovered fucking Metallica. 0.99
00:19:16.000 Whoa, from that exchange? 0.99
00:19:18.000 That aggression, I needed something to...
00:19:21.000 Oh, right. 1.00
00:19:21.000 I would go in my basement and tear shit. 1.00
00:19:24.000 And so how old are you at the time? 1.00
00:19:26.000 I'd tell them off.
00:19:27.000 I'd pretend I was 14. Like, dude, I've been taking fucks. 1.00
00:19:29.000 I'm gonna fucking kill you now, motherfucker! 1.00
00:19:32.000 You're my sister! 1.00
00:19:33.000 You're my fucking sister! 1.00
00:19:36.000 You know what I used to have a lot of? 1.00
00:19:38.000 Internal arguments, like I shoulda saids.
00:19:41.000 I would have these I shoulda saids that would go on for hours. 1.00
00:19:45.000 I'd be in my fucking car in traffic. 1.00
00:19:46.000 Yeah, if you fucking thought about it this way. 1.00
00:19:49.000 You know, like you'd come up with some better thing that you could have said or some slicker thing that you could have said. 0.99
00:19:56.000 Well, I still do that.
00:19:58.000 Don't you still do that?
00:19:59.000 I gave up on it.
00:20:00.000 I force it out.
00:20:01.000 I weed it like it's a weed in the garden.
00:20:05.000 No.
00:20:05.000 I'll do it for a good half hour in the bathroom.
00:20:08.000 On the road?
00:20:09.000 Are you kidding me?
00:20:10.000 I try not to, man.
00:20:11.000 I try not to.
00:20:12.000 I try to, as much as I can, focus my thoughts on things that are actually beneficial to me.
00:20:18.000 So if it's something like that where I know what it is.
00:20:20.000 I know what it is. 1.00
00:20:21.000 I ran into some fucking idiot. 1.00
00:20:23.000 I know what it is. 1.00
00:20:24.000 I'm not going to dwell on it.
00:20:25.000 Right.
00:20:26.000 You know what I mean?
00:20:26.000 Just I'm going to move by.
00:20:27.000 Right.
00:20:28.000 Instead of making that a part of my life.
00:20:30.000 I don't want anybody's goofy behavior to be a part of my life.
00:20:33.000 It's so exhausting.
00:20:34.000 It's exhausting.
00:20:36.000 It's so exhausting.
00:20:36.000 It's not necessary.
00:20:37.000 You can figure out a way.
00:20:38.000 It's an exercise.
00:20:39.000 It's not easy to do.
00:20:41.000 But when you get frustrated by someone, you've got to learn how to just concentrate on the things that you want to concentrate on.
00:20:47.000 Just don't let the other things in.
00:20:48.000 And then after a while, you get stronger at it.
00:20:50.000 It's like a weight.
00:20:51.000 Or it's like a muscle, rather.
00:20:53.000 You lift weights with it, it gets stronger. 0.99
00:20:55.000 So, like, putting your intention on things that you actually enjoy, instead of festering on some fucking stupid argument you might have had with your girlfriend two months ago, or with your boss last week, or... 1.00
00:21:05.000 Or the jackass retard on Twitter. 1.00
00:21:08.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
00:21:08.000 Or someone on Twitter, yeah. 1.00
00:21:09.000 Or someone you ran into at the gas station and said something fucking stupid to you for no reason, and you said, I should have fucking smacked that guy. 1.00
00:21:15.000 You know, you just get that... 1.00
00:21:17.000 In your head, you hunt him down at night.
00:21:19.000 You closing up?
00:21:20.000 Just you?
00:21:24.000 Just you.
00:21:25.000 Yeah.
00:21:26.000 You can't let those things grow.
00:21:28.000 That's what it is.
00:21:29.000 When you feed them, they grow.
00:21:31.000 They do grow.
00:21:32.000 And then it gets easier for them to grow. 1.00
00:21:34.000 It's almost like they've set the fucking seeds, a matrix of seeds in your head, where any other retarded thought would just fucking sprout wings and fly away real quick. 1.00
00:21:42.000 You can't let them. 1.00
00:21:43.000 It happens the most, too, when you're growing.
00:21:47.000 Like, as a person.
00:21:48.000 Every time I think I'm growing, I'm like, wow.
00:21:51.000 I'm expanding in life.
00:21:53.000 It's like, bring him down.
00:21:55.000 Show him his weakness.
00:21:57.000 Say he can't handle Twitter.
00:21:59.000 That's what happens to me. 1.00
00:22:00.000 I'll get a fucking tweet from... 0.99
00:22:01.000 I don't know who this person is. 1.00
00:22:03.000 I don't care who this person is.
00:22:05.000 I can hear...
00:22:06.000 It took me a little while to get over that.
00:22:08.000 You know what, man?
00:22:09.000 I don't blame them.
00:22:10.000 I used to blame them, and I still make fun of them, but I think it's a tool, Twitter is, that is too weird.
00:22:20.000 It's never existed before.
00:22:23.000 There's never been this ability...
00:22:26.000 With an anonymous name to just be shitty to someone or just communicate with someone or even have any kind of contact with someone, positive or negative.
00:22:33.000 Because I think there's a lot of people out there that are addicted to the positive, too.
00:22:36.000 I mean, like girls on Instagram that are taking yoga booty pictures. 0.94
00:22:40.000 And by the way, don't stop.
00:22:42.000 I'm not saying stop.
00:22:43.000 I'm not saying stop.
00:22:44.000 All I'm saying is...
00:22:45.000 Just balance it out.
00:22:46.000 Those pictures are wonderful.
00:22:47.000 Keep them coming, girls. 1.00
00:22:49.000 I'm not saying don't take pictures of your well-sculpted butt. 0.99
00:22:52.000 You should enjoy the praise that you get from your labor in the gym. 0.67
00:22:55.000 Not saying that.
00:22:56.000 But I think definitely people, they get that becomes addictive to them.
00:23:00.000 They start gravitating towards it.
00:23:02.000 Of course they do.
00:23:03.000 It's like the war of the...
00:23:05.000 It's a war of the minds.
00:23:07.000 Keep their minds occupied 24-7.
00:23:11.000 Is this a conspiracy?
00:23:12.000 It's a conspiracy?
00:23:13.000 Is that what a conspiracy is?
00:23:14.000 Could you imagine if they created Twitter because they knew?
00:23:17.000 They were like, look, we have to figure out a way to control people in the age of information.
00:23:20.000 Well, here's the thing.
00:23:20.000 Let them just communicate with each other freely.
00:23:22.000 They'll start so much conflict, they'll never be able to deal with us taking over the world.
00:23:26.000 And every time they get along, we'll stir the pot just a little bit.
00:23:32.000 Yeah, let's keep race relations in check. 1.00
00:23:35.000 Everything's always going to be chaos.
00:23:36.000 Show them someone getting beaten by an officer immediately.
00:23:40.000 Do you have that tape from 1980?
00:23:42.000 Yes, boost it up and make it look like today.
00:23:45.000 Send the thunder.
00:23:53.000 Introduce some new phrases that get them upset that mean nothing.
00:23:58.000 I think I'd like to see a debate.
00:24:00.000 Well, surely my crowd is angrier than yours.
00:24:03.000 Really?
00:24:04.000 Let's have a battle off.
00:24:06.000 Let's limit the words they're allowed to say freely.
00:24:08.000 We need more restricted words. 0.92
00:24:10.000 How about retard? 1.00
00:24:11.000 That's an easy one to stop. 1.00
00:24:12.000 Let's get rid of retard. 1.00
00:24:14.000 I always was repulsed by retard. 1.00
00:24:17.000 You know what? 0.96
00:24:17.000 I've always found tranny to be quite offensive. 0.96
00:24:19.000 Let's make tranny on the list as well. 1.00
00:24:21.000 They're not going to go for it!
00:24:22.000 We're pushing too hard!
00:24:24.000 They're going to push back!
00:24:25.000 Oh, they'll forget Meatly. 0.99
00:24:26.000 Oh, really?
00:24:27.000 I say...
00:24:28.000 Let's just have a little quick race walk.
00:24:30.000 Yes.
00:24:30.000 Why don't we pass a bill on transgenders and put it in the limelight?
00:24:34.000 Because we all know everybody talks about that every day.
00:24:38.000 You know what we can never resolve?
00:24:40.000 Gay marriage. 0.58
00:24:40.000 We need it. 0.58
00:24:41.000 It's our peace.
00:24:42.000 We must move it.
00:24:43.000 Don't lose the queen.
00:24:44.000 You lose the queen, you lose the game.
00:24:48.000 That's our... 0.94
00:24:49.000 Gay marriage is our queen on a chess table of a social construct. 1.00
00:24:54.000 When I was a little kid, they were arguing about gay marriage.
00:24:57.000 When I moved from San Francisco to Florida, I was probably like, I think I was 11 years old.
00:25:02.000 And I remember that was a big thing that people were upset.
00:25:05.000 They were trying to make gay marriage. 0.93
00:25:06.000 And so that was like 1970-something.
00:25:09.000 They're still arguing about it.
00:25:10.000 It's the same cycles.
00:25:12.000 And nobody, nobody...
00:25:15.000 Nobody sees it.
00:25:16.000 It's weird.
00:25:17.000 It's crazy.
00:25:19.000 Don't you get every four years the same thing?
00:25:22.000 Here's the debates. 0.99
00:25:24.000 Gay. 0.98
00:25:24.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:25:25.000 Gay marriage. 0.86
00:25:26.000 Abortion. 0.99
00:25:27.000 Abortion's a big one. 0.98
00:25:28.000 Abortion.
00:25:28.000 How do you feel on abortion, Mr. Trump?
00:25:32.000 How do you feel about killing babies?
00:25:37.000 How do you feel about that? 0.97
00:25:38.000 Are we cool with it?
00:25:40.000 As long as I don't see the baby, I don't get to see it. 1.00
00:25:42.000 Oh, no, no, no, you don't see shit. 0.99
00:25:44.000 We put a vacuum cleaner up there. 0.99
00:25:46.000 There's nothing between you and the tissue at all.
00:25:49.000 You don't see anything.
00:25:50.000 Okay, cool.
00:25:51.000 As long as I don't see it.
00:25:53.000 Well, how big do they get?
00:25:54.000 How big do they get before they suck them out of there?
00:25:56.000 Yeah.
00:25:57.000 They can get pretty big.
00:25:58.000 Nobody wants to have this conversation.
00:26:01.000 You into that?
00:26:02.000 Coming inside people feels so good that nobody wants to have this conversation.
00:26:07.000 Everyone's like, just keep it around.
00:26:09.000 Just keep it around.
00:26:10.000 Stop describing it in an uncomfortable way. 0.97
00:26:14.000 I'm describing it in as fucking mellow and factual way as possible. 1.00
00:26:21.000 And it's uncomfortable as fuck. 0.99
00:26:23.000 Like, what abortion actually is, and I'm not saying that you shouldn't be able to do it, I'm 100% pro-choice, I'm 100% a woman has a right to do whatever she wants with her body, and I definitely don't think a man should be able to tell you what to do with your body. 0.98
00:26:35.000 100%.
00:26:35.000 But, at the end of the day, that's a little baby, and you're using a vacuum to suck it out of your body.
00:26:41.000 Like, it's odd.
00:26:43.000 But it's not odd.
00:26:44.000 It's not like a judgment because I agree with it.
00:26:47.000 I think you should be able to do it.
00:26:48.000 But isn't there an up to a point?
00:26:50.000 Because it's like three cells.
00:26:52.000 Like it's enough cells to fit on the very tip of a pin.
00:26:55.000 And it just gets sucked out of the vacuum.
00:26:57.000 Okay.
00:26:58.000 I don't really see the issue.
00:26:59.000 You know?
00:27:00.000 If you're like a tribal guy in the woods, there are guys get the girl pregnant. 0.99
00:27:07.000 They realize we're not going to be able to fucking afford this one. 0.99
00:27:10.000 And... 0.99
00:27:12.000 You're Charlie's wife or Bukbu's wife. 1.00
00:27:16.000 You can't tell me they're not eating berries or fucking running hard into a tree. 0.99
00:27:24.000 You know what I mean? 1.00
00:27:28.000 They have an abortion stomp that they saw at a perfect angle and this is where you run if you have the cum in your body and you don't want your baby. 0.99
00:27:41.000 You run towards the abortion stump. 1.00
00:27:44.000 And you just fucking take one right in the gut. 1.00
00:27:48.000 It's like a perfectly shaped tree. 1.00
00:27:51.000 Goddamn. 0.99
00:27:52.000 Yeah, for sure. 0.99
00:27:52.000 Somebody must have figured it out somewhere along the line. 0.99
00:27:54.000 There's got to be a way to stop this fucking kid. 1.00
00:27:57.000 But the point is, dude, you're a sex edge. 1.00
00:28:02.000 If I had that as sex education in fifth grade, I would have thought everything a lot differently. 0.90
00:28:09.000 If I had you come in and describe it all, listen, I know you guys are getting into it, and, you know, these are the risks, and you said everything you just said, like, wow.
00:28:20.000 I would have changed my whole perspective on moving forward.
00:28:24.000 Well, you know...
00:28:26.000 You put the egg.
00:28:27.000 The egg shoots into the thing.
00:28:28.000 That's what they teach you in school.
00:28:29.000 Yeah, they teach you nonsense.
00:28:30.000 Coming in people feels awesome.
00:28:32.000 And there's a reason for that.
00:28:34.000 Nature's trying to get you to make more people.
00:28:36.000 Because nature's still the same setup that was around when we died real young.
00:28:40.000 When there wasn't that many of us.
00:28:41.000 You could wipe out some... 0.95
00:28:43.000 You know, we were shitting in the street. 0.63
00:28:45.000 People were getting plague.
00:28:46.000 You know, they'd have rats that would carry these diseases and fleas and ticks. 1.00
00:28:51.000 We're not that far.
00:28:53.000 We're only like a gene off from tossing our own feces.
00:28:55.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:28:56.000 A gene off.
00:28:57.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99
00:28:59.000 So why do you have we have to come a lot gonna make a lot of people just to keep this fucking party rolling? 0.79
00:29:04.000 And I think that's one of the things that's going on today when you're seeing people become more like a lot of men are gravitating towards being more effeminate and then you hear these phrases like toxic masculinity like phrases that we never heard we were young that almost like denigrates The concept of masculinity in some sort of a weird abstract way, 0.99
00:29:22.000 but I think it's because we realize, hey, we don't need to fuck as much anymore. 0.97
00:29:26.000 We don't need to go to war as much anymore. 0.99
00:29:29.000 We're progressing into some sort of a digital universe that we're moving into, and it's not going to require so much chimp meat. 1.00
00:29:37.000 You know, so much chaos and blood.
00:29:40.000 So I think as a culture, people are sort of moving away.
00:29:43.000 That's why when something like the UFC comes around, or heavy metal, or something just openly aggressive, guys like you or I will go, YES! Let me be me!
00:30:00.000 Let me be me!
00:30:02.000 How about the...
00:30:03.000 Oh my god.
00:30:05.000 Stop trying to drag me to the future.
00:30:06.000 That should be politics.
00:30:09.000 That should be...
00:30:10.000 I would see that as politics one day.
00:30:13.000 Someday it will be.
00:30:15.000 You want to be the governor?
00:30:16.000 Get in the ring. 1.00
00:30:18.000 There was a fucking photo that I took off of Twitter today, I think. 0.99
00:30:22.000 Somebody put it up. 0.99
00:30:23.000 I'll find out who put it up.
00:30:25.000 But it was just a little sign that was outside some place in Texas that said, instead of having a president, why don't we just all agree really hard to be cool?
00:30:39.000 And I saw that and I was like, well that's so fucking simple, but isn't that going to be what it is one day?
00:30:45.000 Like isn't it kind of moving into that sort of a direction?
00:30:48.000 I hope so.
00:30:48.000 Isn't that what it's going to be one day?
00:30:49.000 I hope so.
00:30:50.000 Just everybody be cool.
00:30:51.000 Just relax.
00:30:52.000 I think that's what's... 0.93
00:30:53.000 We're moving away from all of the fucking weird base physical needs that we constantly have to feed. 0.93
00:31:04.000 Right. 0.97
00:31:04.000 We're moving away from those. 0.97
00:31:06.000 But don't you think whoever is aware of that, anticipates that, and they're already counteractoring?
00:31:16.000 You mean, like, the powers that be?
00:31:18.000 The powers that be?
00:31:19.000 The evil cabal of geniuses sitting in an old room with books, leather-bound books in the wall. 1.00
00:31:29.000 If you have a leather-bound book, you're an asshole. 1.00
00:31:31.000 How about that? 1.00
00:31:31.000 If you're one of those guys with a bunch of books behind you? 1.00
00:31:34.000 First edition, in leather.
00:31:37.000 Gold-flating.
00:31:39.000 I don't think they can manipulate it nearly as much as we think they can.
00:31:44.000 I think they definitely manipulate the things they can, and I think this world has gotten so out of hand that it's on its own.
00:31:50.000 It's working on some kind of crazy, instinctual momentum towards progress.
00:31:55.000 I think those old dudes... 0.92
00:31:57.000 For sure killed Kennedy.
00:31:59.000 For sure.
00:32:01.000 I've seen the arguments for, I've seen the arguments against.
00:32:04.000 Somebody killed Kennedy, and it wasn't just Lee Harvey Oswald.
00:32:08.000 Everybody's got this either-or thing, you know?
00:32:11.000 Like, Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.
00:32:12.000 I don't think so.
00:32:14.000 I think he definitely was in on it, though.
00:32:15.000 I think there's a gang of people in on it.
00:32:17.000 I think he was one of the people that was in on it.
00:32:19.000 It's highly likely. 1.00
00:32:21.000 That Lee Harvey Oswald was out of his fucking mind. 1.00
00:32:24.000 Crazy asshole, working for the government, doing some weird shit in Russia, comes back over here and marries a Russian lady. 1.00
00:32:31.000 There's all sorts of wackiness to it. 1.00
00:32:35.000 I'm just rambling.
00:32:38.000 But what is all that?
00:32:39.000 That was back in the 60s.
00:32:41.000 That's what all that is.
00:32:42.000 No, but what is all that meant?
00:32:43.000 Manipulation.
00:32:45.000 It's all manipulation.
00:32:45.000 They were trying to figure out how to retain control.
00:32:48.000 Kennedy wanted to break up the Federal Reserve.
00:32:51.000 Well, a bunch of people.
00:32:52.000 First of all, he wanted to get rid of the CIA. He wanted to get rid of the NSA. He wanted to get rid of a bunch of agencies, either the CIA or the NSA. One of those he wanted to dissolve.
00:33:01.000 He wanted to get rid of the Internal Revenue Service.
00:33:03.000 He wanted to get rid of the Federal Bank.
00:33:05.000 Like, Kennedy had some radical ideas.
00:33:08.000 He wanted to change a lot of things about the way the world was. 0.99
00:33:12.000 And he also wanted pussy. 1.00
00:33:14.000 And mass. 1.00
00:33:15.000 Did you ever read...
00:33:16.000 No one ever heard...
00:33:18.000 Did you ever hear the whole speech?
00:33:20.000 Which one?
00:33:21.000 The famous one he did? 0.98
00:33:23.000 It's always the end, ass not, you know, that thing. 0.81
00:33:27.000 But did you ever hear the whole speech? 0.99
00:33:28.000 No.
00:33:29.000 I'm sure I did, but I don't remember it.
00:33:31.000 It's everything what you're saying. 1.00
00:33:31.000 He was a bad motherfucker, dude. 1.00
00:33:33.000 He was a bad motherfucker. 1.00
00:33:34.000 He was saying, like, you know, hey, listen, there's enough means we can all... 1.00
00:33:37.000 Yeah.
00:33:38.000 ...get along. 1.00
00:33:39.000 Oh, Jesus, we have a fucking hippie... 1.00
00:33:41.000 Did you ever hear the stuff that he said about secret societies? 1.00
00:33:44.000 No.
00:33:45.000 Dude, play this, because this is bananas.
00:33:48.000 I get exhausted from that stuff.
00:33:49.000 I know.
00:33:50.000 You can't.
00:33:50.000 I'm not saying I... You can't.
00:33:51.000 No, look, I have...
00:33:52.000 Believer, don't be. 1.00
00:33:53.000 My friend Eddie Bravo, who I love to death, he loves every single one of them.
00:33:56.000 Every conspiracy that comes along, he dives into it. 0.99
00:33:58.000 Fucking hook, line, sinker. 1.00
00:34:00.000 He loves them. 1.00
00:34:00.000 I love them, too. 1.00
00:34:02.000 They're fun.
00:34:02.000 They're fun, man.
00:34:02.000 They are fun.
00:34:03.000 They're fun.
00:34:03.000 Because at the end of the day, I just got my little house and my little lawn, and...
00:34:07.000 Dude, Vince Foster, look it up.
00:34:09.000 Ooh! 0.96
00:34:11.000 Did you ever hear about that guy who was running drugs through Mena, Arkansas?
00:34:17.000 Yeah, he was in that movie.
00:34:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:34:19.000 They were dropping coke out of planes.
00:34:21.000 His name was Barry Seals.
00:34:22.000 He was working for the CIA, dropping coke out of planes. 1.00
00:34:26.000 And these kids found it.
00:34:28.000 They killed the kids.
00:34:30.000 Was that the game show guy?
00:34:32.000 Who was the game show guy?
00:34:33.000 Oh, yeah.
00:34:35.000 Don Barris, yeah.
00:34:37.000 No, Don Barris is our friend.
00:34:39.000 What was his name?
00:34:40.000 Didn't they make a movie about that guy?
00:34:42.000 Yeah, Chuck Barris.
00:34:43.000 Chuck Barris.
00:34:45.000 Yeah, it was kind of like a fake movie.
00:34:49.000 Pretending that he was a hitman or something.
00:34:51.000 I fell asleep watching it once.
00:34:53.000 It was one of those movies.
00:34:55.000 So, you know, I would get exhausted with this talk.
00:34:57.000 It used to be really, really...
00:35:02.000 Paranoid?
00:35:02.000 Hey, listen, listen, listen.
00:35:03.000 It's not paranoid, just you go, what do you do about all that?
00:35:06.000 It's a shorter version of a longer speech book.
00:35:09.000 Okay, good.
00:35:09.000 Good, perfect.
00:35:09.000 The shorter version, what I want to hear.
00:35:11.000 I know, it's exhausting, dude. 0.94
00:35:13.000 This will get off the shit out of you. 0.97
00:35:16.000 Ladies and gentlemen, the very word secrecy is repugnant in a free and open society. 0.96
00:35:23.000 And we are, as a people, inherently and historically opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths, And to secret proceedings.
00:35:33.000 We decided long ago that the dangers of excessive and unwarranted concealment of pertinent facts far outweigh the dangers which are cited to justify it.
00:35:46.000 Even today, there is little value in opposing the threat of a closed society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions.
00:35:55.000 Even today, there is little value in ensuring the survival of our nation if our traditions do not survive with it.
00:36:04.000 And there is very grave danger that an announced need for increased security will be seized upon by those anxious to expand its meaning to the very limits of official censorship and concealment.
00:36:19.000 That I do not intend to permit to the extent that it's in my control.
00:36:24.000 And no official of my administration, whether his rank is high or low, civilian or military, should interpret my words here tonight as an excuse to censor the news, to stifle dissent, to cover up our mistakes, or to withhold from the press and the public the facts they deserve to know.
00:36:45.000 For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy That relies primarily on covet means for expanding its sphere of influence, on infiltration instead of invasion,
00:37:01.000 on subversion instead of elections, on intimidation instead of free choice, on guerrillas by night instead of armies by day.
00:37:12.000 It is a system which has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly knit, Highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, intelligence, economic,
00:37:28.000 scientific, and political... 1.00
00:37:30.000 He was a bad motherfucker. 1.00
00:37:31.000 We could just listen to that whole speech and just bail on this podcast. 1.00
00:37:34.000 But what does everyone give the trophy to?
00:37:39.000 What does it say on every poster?
00:37:43.000 What is he most famous for?
00:37:47.000 All they took was that last end of the speech.
00:37:50.000 You said, ask not.
00:37:51.000 Right.
00:37:52.000 Which a country could do for you.
00:37:55.000 That all should have been on now.
00:37:57.000 So that is all part of the same speech?
00:37:59.000 Is that the same speech? 0.75
00:38:00.000 I am partly retarded.
00:38:04.000 I'm not going to act like I'm a historian here.
00:38:06.000 It is the same guy who said that.
00:38:08.000 And you never hear that speech.
00:38:09.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:38:09.000 It shows you the other part.
00:38:10.000 We never heard that.
00:38:11.000 Yeah. 0.63
00:38:13.000 That's the sickest speech I've ever heard by any president. 0.94
00:38:16.000 Ever! 0.72
00:38:17.000 Then again, I don't listen to any of them.
00:38:18.000 Two minutes in, I'm out. 1.00
00:38:21.000 Well, it's hard to listen to them because you know it's horse shit. 1.00
00:38:23.000 Horse shit. 1.00
00:38:24.000 And they all talk like presidents. 1.00
00:38:26.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:38:27.000 Like, they don't just talk to you.
00:38:29.000 They all talk to you in this, like, there's a pattern they're locked into that you can't read.
00:38:36.000 When someone talks to you as if you were a person in the audience.
00:38:42.000 You know what I mean?
00:38:43.000 There's a pattern in the way he's talking.
00:38:46.000 They don't reveal much about their actual emotions.
00:38:49.000 They put on a mask.
00:38:50.000 When you do a speech like a politician, you're putting on a verbal mask.
00:38:55.000 And you're not allowing people to see much of you.
00:38:58.000 That's why when we see a little bit.
00:39:00.000 You know?
00:39:01.000 Like when Hillary Clinton shrieks. 1.00
00:39:04.000 And people are like, why is everybody concentrating on that?
00:39:06.000 Because you're getting to see a little bit of her.
00:39:08.000 You see a little bit of her through the mask.
00:39:10.000 She's got this two-inch thick political mask that she's put... 1.00
00:39:14.000 It's coats of paint that have now hit two inches thick from all the years of doing this.
00:39:21.000 So when you hear a shriek...
00:39:22.000 It's no different than if you watch a third grader in a play.
00:39:27.000 Right.
00:39:28.000 When those kids come out, it's the same monotone.
00:39:32.000 Yeah, they don't know their lines.
00:39:34.000 They don't care about their lines.
00:39:35.000 When I watch the politicians talk, it's no different. 0.97
00:39:39.000 It's more fucking painful to watch that than my third graders horrifying play every single year they do. 0.94
00:39:47.000 Well, that's one of the things that bummed me out the most about Obama. 0.97
00:39:51.000 When I first saw him, when he was first in office, when he was first running for president, I was like, this guy's gonna be like a new Kennedy.
00:39:57.000 Like, this guy's gonna be like this guy who changes everything with the way he talks and the policies that he creates.
00:40:04.000 He's a young, articulate...
00:40:07.000 I mean, he's essentially close to our age.
00:40:09.000 He's like three years older than us.
00:40:11.000 He grew up in our age.
00:40:13.000 He grew up in our era.
00:40:14.000 But don't you think...
00:40:15.000 He's put in that situation...
00:40:20.000 Somewhere along the line, they're like, listen, you had a nice...
00:40:23.000 You have a nice little run here, but there's some other rules you need to abide by.
00:40:30.000 You understand?
00:40:31.000 I like how you say that with a southern accent.
00:40:33.000 I don't know why I pitched southern.
00:40:34.000 It sounded scarier.
00:40:36.000 It's a bit meaner.
00:40:38.000 It scares me more.
00:40:40.000 If a northerner gives me a threat, for some reason, southerner scares me more, because I really...
00:40:46.000 There's more menace than that.
00:40:47.000 You know who it was?
00:40:48.000 The Burt Reynolds movie.
00:40:49.000 Which one? 1.00
00:40:50.000 The fuck was that movie? 1.00
00:40:51.000 When they were in the swamp? 1.00
00:40:52.000 It was the first movie?
00:40:53.000 Deliverance.
00:40:54.000 Deliverance.
00:40:55.000 Remember? 0.99
00:40:55.000 Squeal like a pig. 0.99
00:40:56.000 Remember that? 0.99
00:40:57.000 Scary. 1.00
00:40:58.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00
00:40:59.000 Traumatized. 1.00
00:40:59.000 That was when people grew up in the East Coast, in the Northeast. 1.00
00:41:03.000 Yeah.
00:41:03.000 You heard those movies?
00:41:05.000 You saw those movies around there?
00:41:06.000 That was like our introduction to scary Southern people.
00:41:09.000 Oh.
00:41:11.000 So what did you want Obama to come out and do?
00:41:14.000 I thought I was looking at the future.
00:41:17.000 I thought I was looking at someone who was going to change everything.
00:41:20.000 I thought, here's this guy who's everything we always wanted.
00:41:24.000 Bush was this guy who was almost anti-intellectual in a way.
00:41:28.000 It seemed like he would take these real shortcuts to the way he thought and the way he expressed himself.
00:41:33.000 Real obvious shortcuts.
00:41:34.000 He didn't express himself in a way where he was trying to get really intelligent people to say, okay, this guy is well thought out. 0.96
00:41:43.000 What he was doing was he was expressing himself in a way where he was trying to get really dumb people to think he's one of them. 0.90
00:41:51.000 And there's two different kinds of people. 0.94
00:41:53.000 There's someone like Obama when he was running for office.
00:41:57.000 Well, here's a good example.
00:41:58.000 Ron Paul is a great example.
00:42:00.000 Ron Paul is obviously very intelligent, and he speaks to both the intelligent people and to the people that might not understand all the concepts that he's discussing when it comes to big government or intervention in foreign policy,
00:42:15.000 intervening in foreign countries.
00:42:19.000 When he does it, it's like very clear and concise and particularly well-chosen words So, Obama was that guy. 0.99
00:42:28.000 To me, Obama was the opposite of the guy who was appealing towards dumb people. 0.71
00:42:34.000 Obama was appealing towards youth and hope. 0.96
00:42:38.000 Hope and change was the big part of the...
00:42:40.000 All these years later, what's really changed that much?
00:42:44.000 Joe, think about this, though.
00:42:47.000 You get to that part.
00:42:49.000 I get it.
00:42:49.000 I'm with you a thousand percent.
00:42:52.000 But...
00:42:53.000 but the realistic like a realistic view don't you think where you look at every great hero and there's that fear of death like oh i like some of these uh concepts you're talking about kids are nice kids look real nice over there so uh you want a little change it's awesome um Let me show you a little video of Mr. Kennedy's. 0.99
00:43:19.000 The last guy who had that big dumb fucking speech. 0.98
00:43:22.000 Remember John Lennon? 1.00
00:43:24.000 Wasn't he cute?
00:43:25.000 Huh?
00:43:25.000 Do you think they killed John Lennon?
00:43:27.000 Imagine. 0.93
00:43:27.000 Oh, they send out a wacko. 0.93
00:43:29.000 Oh, a fucking wacko son of a bitch. 1.00
00:43:33.000 But isn't it more likely that people are obsessed with John Lennon because he's an amazing artist? 1.00
00:43:39.000 Yes, could be.
00:43:40.000 Like that little girl that got shot in Florida last week. 0.98
00:43:42.000 Horrifying.
00:43:43.000 Horrifying.
00:43:43.000 But do you think that she was a part of the Illuminati?
00:43:46.000 Was there like some sort of a plan to stop her and her message of freedom? 1.00
00:43:50.000 Or was it just a crazy fuck that was in love with her? 1.00
00:43:53.000 Just a young girl who was a singer. 1.00
00:43:54.000 I went for crazy fuck. 1.00
00:43:56.000 Yeah, most likely. 1.00
00:43:57.000 It could be crazy fuck. 1.00
00:43:58.000 I know that. 1.00
00:43:59.000 A lot of crazy fucks. 1.00
00:43:59.000 I'm just saying. 1.00
00:44:01.000 I think everyone wanted that, from any politician.
00:44:05.000 But the minute that politician, you can't deny that the first guy that actually has free reign, and he faked everyone out, and he got to that point...
00:44:17.000 It's got to be nearly impossible to go, listen, if they shut off the phone, if they shut all communication down right now, it's because they don't like what I'm saying.
00:44:27.000 Boom.
00:44:27.000 Until you have that brutal honesty, you're never going to have that hero.
00:44:32.000 Could you imagine if Obama did that?
00:44:32.000 No, if he did it, the whole world would have changed.
00:44:35.000 What if he gets out of office and tells everybody exactly what the fuck happened? 0.97
00:44:38.000 Why didn't he say that when he was president? 1.00
00:44:39.000 Because it would kill his kids. 0.97
00:44:42.000 Oh no, one's very sick. 0.86
00:44:46.000 This is terrible.
00:44:47.000 The government.
00:44:48.000 They're watching.
00:44:48.000 They're listening to everything we say.
00:44:50.000 The NSA. They recorded it.
00:44:51.000 Isn't that really funny?
00:44:52.000 They're bored watching me.
00:44:53.000 Yeah.
00:44:54.000 What are you going to do?
00:44:55.000 They're really bored watching me.
00:44:57.000 Here he goes again. 1.00
00:44:58.000 Another fucking speech to a 17-year-old. 1.00
00:45:00.000 This is another thing. 1.00
00:45:01.000 People think that there's this gigantic conspiracy to watch over everybody.
00:45:04.000 And I'm going to bring up the guy who broke into the White House.
00:45:08.000 You know the story about the guy who broke in the White House?
00:45:09.000 No.
00:45:10.000 The guy who broke in the White House got arrested a couple months before.
00:45:13.000 You know, only two people have ever broken into the White House.
00:45:15.000 I do remember this.
00:45:16.000 One was from like 1912. A guy broke in.
00:45:18.000 They tackled him quick.
00:45:19.000 This one was from a year and a half ago. 0.99
00:45:23.000 And the guy who broke in, he got arrested, I think it was in September, but he got pulled over in July with four rifles, two handguns, and a fucking machete in his car, plus a map of Washington with an X where the fucking White House is.
00:45:41.000 So he gets pulled over with that two months before he winds up breaking into the White House. 0.96
00:45:48.000 This is how poorly they're watching us.
00:45:50.000 This idea that there's a bunch of evil geniuses that are watching 300 million people's every move. 0.99
00:45:56.000 It's ridiculous. 0.97
00:45:57.000 They can't watch anything. 0.95
00:45:59.000 There's not enough people. 0.99
00:46:01.000 And the people that are watching, they don't give a fuck. 0.99
00:46:03.000 They want to go home. 0.99
00:46:05.000 Right.
00:46:05.000 You're right.
00:46:05.000 The guy broke into the White House, and one of the things that he was doing, he ran across the lawn, and the guy who was supposed to be watching the dogs took his earpiece out, because he was talking to his girlfriend on the cell phone.
00:46:16.000 Wow!
00:46:16.000 He had a second radio, they keep a backup radio, he forgot that in his locker.
00:46:20.000 This is the kind of people that are guarding the world.
00:46:23.000 So this idea that there's these super geniuses that are in control of every move and they hired a hitman and hypnotized him Manchurian candidate style. 0.72
00:46:33.000 Where were you?
00:46:33.000 I was talking to my girlfriend.
00:46:35.000 Do you know how hard it would be to talk someone into killing someone for you and then getting shot and kill themselves or getting locked up in jail for the rest of their life? 0.99
00:46:42.000 Do you know how fucking hard that would be? 0.99
00:46:44.000 Really hard. 0.97
00:46:45.000 It would be almost impossible to count on that guy to pulling it off, too.
00:46:49.000 Because you would have to get someone who's probably never killed somebody before.
00:46:52.000 That's going to be their first killing? 0.62
00:46:54.000 You're going to go kill John Lennon and then get locked up in jail for the rest of your life? 0.56
00:46:57.000 You're convinced this guy's going to do this? 0.68
00:46:59.000 Like, how are you going to get this guy to do this? 0.99
00:47:00.000 Most of them are going to fuck it up. 0.99
00:47:02.000 Like, where are all the fuck-ups? 1.00
00:47:05.000 You know, how come a bunch of people haven't fucked up and missed and not pulled it off? 0.99
00:47:09.000 No, they're always successful. 1.00
00:47:10.000 Because they're just fucking crazy people. 1.00
00:47:13.000 They're just fucking crazy people. 1.00
00:47:14.000 I agree. 1.00
00:47:15.000 For all those ones that we think there's some grand conspiracy, it's much more likely that people are retarded. 1.00
00:47:21.000 Way more. 0.91
00:47:22.000 Could be. 0.98
00:47:24.000 But there's a few fucking real ones like that Kennedy speech where he must have known. 0.99
00:47:28.000 He was in deep. 0.99
00:47:30.000 He must have known. 0.99
00:47:31.000 He knew about sculling bones and all those crazy little fraternities that those guys belong to where they'd fuck each other and take Polaroids and blackmail each other for the rest of their lives. 0.95
00:47:43.000 If we don't go to war with Libya, certain cache of photos will be released to the press. 0.96
00:47:50.000 You know?
00:47:51.000 Right?
00:47:52.000 It's really that simple.
00:47:53.000 Probably. 0.90
00:47:54.000 Probably compromise them when they're young in some sort of a weird way and get them to do gay stuff. 1.00
00:48:03.000 Probably, right? 0.64
00:48:04.000 I have no clue.
00:48:07.000 If you were running one of those Yale clubs, that's the best way to shut them all up.
00:48:12.000 Well, of course. 1.00
00:48:14.000 Yeah, get some gay porn on them. 1.00
00:48:17.000 Right? 1.00
00:48:18.000 Of course, and then start your own religion.
00:48:22.000 16mm in some dark dungeon in Connecticut.
00:48:26.000 This is you, right, Charlie?
00:48:28.000 Yeah, they got the fraternity logo on.
00:48:31.000 What's the Skull and Bones logo look like? 0.97
00:48:34.000 Something fucking cool. 0.98
00:48:35.000 Something death metal. 1.00
00:48:41.000 Maybe even all the Scotland Bone shit came out of the same pressure, you know? 0.99
00:48:45.000 Could have been. 1.00
00:48:46.000 All those rich, rich guys with their rich fucking dads who aren't paying attention to them, and they're going to boarding schools. 1.00
00:48:51.000 Oh, look at it. 1.00
00:48:53.000 Ooh.
00:48:53.000 You can't, whatever you do, don't make a t-shirt with that on it, with your name on it.
00:48:57.000 People would be so upset.
00:48:58.000 So what is, I don't even know what this is.
00:49:01.000 What is this?
00:49:02.000 Scull and bones. 0.99
00:49:03.000 I'd butcher it. 0.94
00:49:04.000 We'll be here too long. 0.98
00:49:05.000 Yeah, I'd butcher it too.
00:49:07.000 It's a fraternity, a group that a lot of former presidents belong to, like John Kerry belonged to it.
00:49:14.000 George Bush.
00:49:16.000 It's just a Yale fraternity, like a club, a secret club of many, many people who wind up being leaders in the free world.
00:49:25.000 Well, yeah, pull it up so I stop butchering it.
00:49:29.000 But it's one of those things that people point to when they look at evidence.
00:49:32.000 The 15, what does it say?
00:49:33.000 The 15 most powerful what?
00:49:35.000 Members of Skull and Bones.
00:49:36.000 The most famous secret society in America, Skull and Bones, was co-founded at Yale in 1832 by the father of a future president and has come to signify everything that attracts and repulses the public about, in quotes, the elite.
00:49:50.000 Rumor has it that Yale junior class members are tapped for membership each fall by some measure of leadership, influence, and breeding.
00:49:57.000 Among the business titans, poets, politicians, and three U.S. presidents that are rumored to be members, we've picked out our honorable poets. 0.99
00:50:05.000 What fucking poets in the- what? 1.00
00:50:07.000 They're talking out of their ass. 1.00
00:50:08.000 That's one of those things that sounds good. 1.00
00:50:09.000 Wow, look at this.
00:50:10.000 Look at all the members.
00:50:11.000 William Howard Taft, class of 1878, former president.
00:50:17.000 Amos Alonzo Stagg, class of 1888, Yale's greatest football player.
00:50:22.000 What did he do?
00:50:23.000 Bunch of sports stuff.
00:50:27.000 Okay.
00:50:27.000 Sports stuff, back and forth.
00:50:29.000 Black people figured out sports.
00:50:30.000 I don't count those.
00:50:31.000 I really don't.
00:50:33.000 Don't let them play.
00:50:34.000 Don't let them play yet!
00:50:35.000 Were you playing when LeBron James was alive?
00:50:37.000 No.
00:50:37.000 You're barely playing basketball, okay?
00:50:40.000 William Averill Harriman.
00:50:42.000 Look at this guy.
00:50:43.000 Future governor of New York.
00:50:44.000 A presidential candidate. 0.98
00:50:46.000 I'll say a bunch of people that we've never fucking heard about. 0.96
00:50:48.000 But people that were governors. 0.98
00:50:50.000 Look at that.
00:50:51.000 Prescott Bush.
00:50:53.000 Listen to that.
00:50:54.000 Pull that up.
00:50:55.000 If you thought W was a wild man in his college years, you should have met his granddaddy.
00:51:00.000 Prescott, the future senator from Connecticut, was apparently a real cut-up who, along with some other bonesmen, is believed to have dug up and absconded with the skull of the legendary Native American warrior Geronimo during World War I. Whoa, he stole Geronimo's skull?
00:51:17.000 That's pretty gangster. 0.98
00:51:19.000 By the way, New Haven is a shithole. 0.99
00:51:27.000 No offense to anybody in New Haven. 0.99
00:51:29.000 Is it better?
00:51:30.000 No, it's not.
00:51:31.000 No.
00:51:31.000 Is it bounced back?
00:51:32.000 Is it gentrified yet?
00:51:33.000 There used to be a comedy club there.
00:51:34.000 Remember that place?
00:51:35.000 Joker's Wild?
00:51:37.000 I don't remember it.
00:51:38.000 Was it in a hotel?
00:51:40.000 No, no, it was just a comedy club there.
00:51:42.000 I don't remember it.
00:51:43.000 Yeah, a wild dude owned it. 0.95
00:51:44.000 Crazy guy. 0.81
00:51:45.000 Saw him beat a guy up with his shoe. 0.99
00:51:49.000 He beat a guy up in a shoe? 1.00
00:51:51.000 Yeah, some guy was talking shit. 1.00
00:51:52.000 I forget what happened. 1.00
00:51:54.000 I forget what caused the fight because I was on stage and he pulled his shoe off and hit the fucking guy in the head with the wooden part of his shoe, his heel of his shoe. 0.97
00:52:03.000 Yeah, so I don't know what the guy did to him. 0.99
00:52:05.000 The guy must have hit him or something, but he was a wild man.
00:52:07.000 But that whole area was like super sketchy.
00:52:11.000 Like driving around to the club.
00:52:12.000 It's a little dark and creepy.
00:52:14.000 Mmm.
00:52:14.000 It was borderline, like, uh...
00:52:19.000 Sketchy.
00:52:19.000 Yeah.
00:52:20.000 It's weird that Scull and Bones is there.
00:52:23.000 I don't know.
00:52:24.000 Are you scared?
00:52:25.000 No, I'm not scared. 0.94
00:52:26.000 You're scared the shit out of me, man. 0.93
00:52:27.000 What? 0.85
00:52:28.000 Prescott Bush character?
00:52:29.000 That?
00:52:29.000 He scares you?
00:52:30.000 Scares.
00:52:31.000 It's Darth Vader!
00:52:32.000 Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!
00:52:35.000 You know what's interesting?
00:52:36.000 They talked us into believing that George Bush was from Texas.
00:52:41.000 Where is he from?
00:52:42.000 Connecticut.
00:52:43.000 How about that?
00:52:43.000 Maine and Connecticut.
00:52:45.000 His dad was from Maine, right?
00:52:47.000 Didn't they grow up in Maine?
00:52:50.000 Pretty sure.
00:52:54.000 Right?
00:52:55.000 They're both on this list.
00:52:56.000 I was just trying to see if it said that.
00:52:57.000 Yeah, no, there's a gang of people on that list that wound up being president.
00:53:01.000 Just stop and think about how crazy that is.
00:53:03.000 Bunch of people who wound up being president.
00:53:07.000 You get to vote.
00:53:09.000 You get to vote. 1.00
00:53:12.000 Do you think that maybe they hired Donald Trump to just act like a total complete shithead because they knew there were so many Republicans that are shitheads, they could just get him to the podium and then he would crumble under the weight of Hillary Clinton. 1.00
00:53:26.000 It's the greatest professional wrestling act ever. 1.00
00:53:30.000 It really is.
00:53:33.000 I'm gonna build walls.
00:53:38.000 How many shirts have we sold?
00:53:40.000 14, 15 billion.
00:53:42.000 The extra, extra, extra larges are flying off the shelves.
00:53:46.000 The wall just got 10 foot bigger.
00:53:49.000 That's what I said.
00:53:50.000 That's what I told him.
00:53:52.000 His delivery's very pro-wrestling.
00:53:56.000 His delivery's super pro-wrestling. 1.00
00:53:58.000 He's professional, fuck it. 1.00
00:54:00.000 It's brilliant. 1.00
00:54:01.000 Let's watch that wall speech.
00:54:02.000 Let's watch the part where he says the wall just got ten feet bigger.
00:54:05.000 Because it is a guy in a movie.
00:54:10.000 Don't we want to make America great again?
00:54:19.000 The president of Mexico said they will not under any circumstances He's more over the top than you!
00:54:26.000 What is your comment?
00:54:27.000 I said, the wall just got ten feet higher.
00:54:31.000 Look at that guy behind him.
00:54:33.000 Pause for a second.
00:54:34.000 Pause for a second. 0.99
00:54:35.000 That guy behind him, that silly man, right to... 0.99
00:54:38.000 Is he whistling with his teeth? 0.99
00:54:40.000 We're looking at him on the left.
00:54:41.000 That guy.
00:54:42.000 The guy right over his right shoulder.
00:54:43.000 That guy?
00:54:44.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:54:44.000 See that guy?
00:54:45.000 Yeah.
00:54:45.000 That guy's a problem.
00:54:48.000 Because guys like that, they're not supposed to make it this far.
00:54:50.000 They're supposed to be eaten by wolves a long time ago.
00:54:53.000 They're supposed to be like that guy that keeps surviving in Game of Thrones.
00:54:56.000 It's with the wildling lady, but that guy's more badass.
00:54:59.000 He keeps figuring out a way to survive.
00:55:01.000 But this guy, there was a Duncan Trussell podcast he did recently with Tim Heidecker.
00:55:06.000 And Tim Heidecker, who's from Tim and Eric, hilarious, amazing guy.
00:55:11.000 He nailed it.
00:55:13.000 And one of the things that he said that just really resonated in my head is he said, there's always been this desire that people have to identify with the strong man and to give in, to submit to the strong man.
00:55:25.000 And that's what he is.
00:55:27.000 He's this strong, super confident man.
00:55:29.000 And that guy over his shoulder is the kind of guy that looks like, you know, probably a nice guy, probably a sweetheart.
00:55:36.000 Maybe he eats a little more than he should.
00:55:39.000 Doesn't go to the gym when he should and you know alarm clock goes up. 0.99
00:55:42.000 It's hard for him to get motivated So he's just not he doesn't have a lot of get up and go and he looks at this fucking Trump guy with his orange skin His crazy hair make your hair like like Kennedy. 0.98
00:55:54.000 Could you imagine giving that dude a pot cookie and a mirror? 0.98
00:55:58.000 And go hey, bro What's going on up here?
00:56:02.000 What is this?
00:56:04.000 What's going on?
00:56:04.000 What are you doing?
00:56:05.000 This is madness. 0.98
00:56:07.000 Like, you're better off having bald spots than that. 0.70
00:56:10.000 If you have, you know, you just go, like, short, trimmed hair with some bald spots, like, just, that's way more gangster than what you're doing. 0.85
00:56:16.000 Like, what you're doing is kind of crazy.
00:56:18.000 Like, no one's, that doesn't...
00:56:19.000 No one's saying anything.
00:56:20.000 Hair does not look like that.
00:56:21.000 It just doesn't look like that.
00:56:22.000 Ever.
00:56:23.000 In the wild.
00:56:24.000 In the wild.
00:56:26.000 What you've done is you've used some sort of chemicals to concoct something.
00:56:32.000 You've concocted this resemblance of what your hair used to look like.
00:56:36.000 And his face, is that the lighting?
00:56:39.000 No, he's orange, bro.
00:56:41.000 Or is he really that red and orange?
00:56:42.000 They do him up.
00:56:43.000 He's got some people that do him up.
00:56:45.000 And the kind of people that do him up are probably the kind of people that really like him.
00:56:48.000 And they kind of like some orange skin. 0.80
00:56:50.000 They want to fight.
00:56:51.000 Well, it's warping.
00:56:53.000 They want to fight.
00:56:55.000 It is! 0.62
00:56:58.000 It's white people war paint! 0.97
00:57:03.000 Make me redder.
00:57:05.000 But why doesn't he do the under eyes?
00:57:06.000 Like, if you're gonna do your face like that, do you think he wears, like, giant goggles when he gets in the tanning booth?
00:57:11.000 Is that what's going on?
00:57:13.000 Like, why are his eyes so white?
00:57:15.000 Why are his eyes just white?
00:57:17.000 Surely he knows what he looks like, right?
00:57:19.000 He has to.
00:57:20.000 But then you look at his hair and you go, well, why is he doing that then?
00:57:23.000 You know?
00:57:24.000 Why didn't he just Jason Statham it?
00:57:26.000 He just tapped into, he just watched Fox News and just went, okay, these guys need a hero.
00:57:32.000 I think he's just got an extraordinary sense of confidence.
00:57:37.000 In some weird way.
00:57:39.000 People are attracted to confidence.
00:57:41.000 Yeah, well, that's what Heidecker was saying.
00:57:43.000 Heidecker was saying that this desire to submit to the strong man is like, what's going on here?
00:57:49.000 And I'm like, ah, I bet that's right.
00:57:50.000 I bet that's a lot of it.
00:57:52.000 Because we've been talking about these guys that campaign for him, like how excited they are.
00:57:59.000 I don't follow politics at all, so I apologize.
00:58:02.000 I read papers.
00:58:04.000 It turned off a while ago.
00:58:05.000 But just from sitting back and watching, he was the only guy, and I don't know if it was planned that way, or like I said, it's professional wrestling.
00:58:14.000 Like, here's what's going to happen.
00:58:16.000 You're going to go here, and then you're going to bow out.
00:58:18.000 Oh, why do I have to fight? 0.99
00:58:19.000 I've been doing this fucking 20 business. 1.00
00:58:20.000 You're going to bow out! 1.00
00:58:23.000 The Poles love him!
00:58:24.000 Now stop it! 1.00
00:58:25.000 I'll put you back in the fucking office where you... 1.00
00:58:27.000 I'm just saying! 1.00
00:58:28.000 He's pissed now. 1.00
00:58:29.000 He's been in government 15 fucking years. 0.99
00:58:31.000 Because he would go up on the podium and the only thing what people responded to, he would call people out. 0.99
00:58:38.000 And people loved that.
00:58:40.000 They already give that to you 24-7 in shows like Kardashians and all that.
00:58:45.000 It's a Twitter...
00:58:46.000 Insult!
00:58:47.000 Insult! 1.00
00:58:47.000 That's the new fucking little guy's power. 1.00
00:58:51.000 He gets up there, he insults people. 1.00
00:58:53.000 I'm calling you out, CBS! He does.
00:58:57.000 You're a jerk and you know it. 1.00
00:58:59.000 Be like, I've never seen anyone. 1.00
00:59:00.000 He's not a politician!
00:59:04.000 How is it working? 0.99
00:59:05.000 It's fucking brilliant. 0.96
00:59:07.000 Keep the hair more yellow. 1.00
00:59:08.000 Fuck it, I love it. 1.00
00:59:10.000 Shut the fuck up! 1.00
00:59:13.000 Get the lighting going! 1.00
00:59:14.000 Script, get his fucking lights. 0.99
00:59:15.000 What's going on there, Jamie? 0.99
00:59:18.000 Sorry, I got too far out.
00:59:19.000 No, you're perfect.
00:59:21.000 You know, you've got it nailed.
00:59:23.000 I mean, that is a guy who's a manager in a pro wrestling show.
00:59:28.000 That's the manager.
00:59:29.000 If he was representing Bruno San Martino and he's leading him towards the squared circle, he'd be like, yes, yes.
00:59:36.000 This is Hulk Hogan's manager, Donald Trump.
00:59:39.000 This is what he's going to do.
00:59:40.000 If he loses and Hillary wins, he's going to manage Hulk Hogan, and Hulk Hogan's going to have to go back to WWE. He's going to make a comeback.
00:59:49.000 Because Gawker is not going to pay him, and so he spent all the Gawker money, and that's going to be the plot.
00:59:55.000 He spent all that Gawker money because he thought, I thought we lived in a country that abided by the rules!
01:00:02.000 I thought when you go to court and you lose, you pay up!
01:00:07.000 Yeah!
01:00:08.000 So I bought a house in Florida.
01:00:10.000 I really like this house.
01:00:11.000 I don't want to lose it.
01:00:13.000 So Vince and I came to an arrangement. 1.00
01:00:16.000 I come back here and kick your candy ass, President! 1.00
01:00:22.000 Is he the President of WWE's ass? 1.00
01:00:25.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:00:25.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:00:26.000 Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan, they have a match because Vince always wanted to have a match with Hulk Hogan and they go at it.
01:00:32.000 And he makes 50 trillion dollars.
01:00:36.000 Oh, look at that.
01:00:36.000 Donald Trump and Vince McMahon.
01:00:38.000 It's already happened?
01:00:39.000 He was on it a couple years ago.
01:00:41.000 I think he shaved his head.
01:00:42.000 I'm telling you!
01:00:42.000 He shaved his head?
01:00:43.000 He shaved Vince's head?
01:00:46.000 Oh good lord.
01:00:47.000 It's so funny though.
01:00:48.000 Look at this.
01:00:48.000 This is hilarious.
01:00:50.000 What a good show.
01:00:52.000 Vince is a smart man.
01:00:54.000 I'll tell you that.
01:00:55.000 He's brilliant.
01:00:55.000 Guy's making a lot of money.
01:00:56.000 Why doesn't he run for president?
01:00:57.000 He'd win.
01:00:58.000 He would win. 1.00
01:00:59.000 He'd fucking win. 0.99
01:01:00.000 How scary is that? 0.99
01:01:01.000 If Donald loses, he might win.
01:01:04.000 Dude.
01:01:06.000 It doesn't scare you that that many people, there's people that still believe in Bigfoot.
01:01:12.000 Wait a minute.
01:01:13.000 Back off.
01:01:13.000 Ghost.
01:01:15.000 And?
01:01:16.000 I had Bobcat Goldthwait in here a couple weeks ago arguing that Bigfoot footage was real.
01:01:21.000 No you didn't.
01:01:25.000 Bobcat is a Bigfoot believer.
01:01:26.000 No, he's not.
01:01:28.000 I don't believe you.
01:01:28.000 Yes, he is.
01:01:28.000 No, no, no.
01:01:28.000 I'm 100% serious.
01:01:30.000 No, no, no.
01:01:30.000 For real.
01:01:30.000 He's got a movie.
01:01:31.000 He's got this movie called Willow Creek.
01:01:33.000 It's really good.
01:01:34.000 It's not a comedy.
01:01:36.000 It's a horror movie about Bigfoot.
01:01:39.000 It's like Blair Witch style.
01:01:40.000 But he doesn't believe it's real.
01:01:41.000 He really believes it's real.
01:01:42.000 He went to the Bigfoot conference recently.
01:01:44.000 He has to sell that.
01:01:44.000 Nope.
01:01:45.000 Nope.
01:01:45.000 No, I know Bobcat.
01:01:46.000 He really believes it's real. 0.99
01:01:47.000 He not only does he believe, he believes that that video, that Patterson footage of the fucking dude in the monkey suit. 0.99
01:01:53.000 The old one? 0.99
01:01:53.000 Yep, that one. 0.99
01:01:54.000 He thinks that's real.
01:01:55.000 100% he thinks that's real.
01:01:56.000 No, he doesn't.
01:01:56.000 Yes, he does.
01:01:57.000 Yes, he does.
01:01:58.000 I know, it seems crazy, right?
01:01:59.000 I think he was playing you.
01:02:01.000 No, a lot of people do. 1.00
01:02:02.000 Every time we talk about this, I get fucking hate tweets from Bigfoot lovers. 0.99
01:02:06.000 There's Bigfoot lovers? 0.99
01:02:07.000 Oh, Bigfoot lovers.
01:02:08.000 I love Bigfoot.
01:02:09.000 I love it.
01:02:10.000 There's fans on TV. There's fans.
01:02:12.000 I love Bigfoot and I love the ghosts that they always find.
01:02:15.000 They're all Trump supporters.
01:02:17.000 It's weird.
01:02:18.000 Right.
01:02:21.000 But no, for real, Bobcat really is a Bigfoot believer.
01:02:25.000 Wow, that's odd to me.
01:02:27.000 I don't see him as really thinking that way.
01:02:29.000 Well...
01:02:30.000 I don't know what it is.
01:02:31.000 It clings to it.
01:02:32.000 My mom... 0.85
01:02:33.000 That's how I realized my mom was a little dopey, because as a kid... 1.00
01:02:37.000 Now I'm being serious.
01:02:39.000 They watched the Bigfoot show, and I'm thinking as a little kid, I believed it. 0.92
01:02:43.000 They would interview literally people on a rock...
01:02:46.000 Going like a hippie and was like, yeah, he was just hanging out.
01:02:49.000 He was kind of moving his head.
01:02:50.000 And my mom go, I believe it.
01:02:52.000 My father's going, Jesus Christ.
01:02:55.000 There probably was something at one point in time.
01:02:58.000 No, there wasn't.
01:02:58.000 Well, there was definitely an animal called Gigantopithecus.
01:03:01.000 You know about that?
01:03:02.000 No.
01:03:02.000 What is it?
01:03:03.000 Oh, Jim Berger.
01:03:04.000 Pull up the photo of Gigantopithecus next to a human being.
01:03:07.000 It was a huge bipedal hominid that they found bones of in Asia in the 1920s.
01:03:13.000 There was an apothecary shop in China, and an anthropologist was in there, and he was studying some of the teeth they had, and he recognized this enormous tooth to be a primate tooth of unknown origin.
01:03:25.000 He's like, this is way too large to be a gorilla.
01:03:28.000 Like, what is this, and where'd you get it?
01:03:30.000 So the people brought him to this apothecary shop.
01:03:34.000 There's a photo of a recreation of a Gigantopithecus next to a guy.
01:03:38.000 The orangutan.
01:03:39.000 No, no, no, no.
01:03:41.000 No, there's a...
01:03:42.000 Just go back to the images, please.
01:03:44.000 Go back to images.
01:03:45.000 Scroll down.
01:03:46.000 You'll definitely find it.
01:03:47.000 It's Gigantopithecus next to a person.
01:03:49.000 Can I just...
01:03:50.000 It just shows you in scale.
01:03:51.000 But it was a...
01:03:51.000 So they found bones.
01:03:53.000 Okay.
01:03:53.000 And they found lower jaw bones that would indicate it was a bipedal ape.
01:03:57.000 Okay.
01:03:58.000 So I guess it's the position of the jaw is different if you're on all fours than if you stand up.
01:04:02.000 So that's it right there.
01:04:04.000 Okay.
01:04:05.000 So this thing lived as recently as 100,000 years ago and maybe more soon, but this is like, they didn't even know about it until 1920 when they got these bones.
01:04:14.000 So in 1920, they had those bones and they had them once carbon dating was invented.
01:04:21.000 They dated those bones to 100,000 years ago.
01:04:23.000 So that was a real animal.
01:04:24.000 Can I just tell you?
01:04:26.000 If you, you need to change the whole edge.
01:04:29.000 I would go to school every day if this was school.
01:04:33.000 You would learn about Bigfoot and weed and jiu-jitsu. 0.99
01:04:38.000 Everywhere we went today, we just sat there like, dude, fucking, I'm not coming, I'm going back to school tomorrow. 0.99
01:04:45.000 Well, there's cool shit to learn, man. 1.00
01:04:47.000 This is cool shit. 0.99
01:04:48.000 Like, this is cool anthropology. 0.99
01:04:50.000 I'm not sure if I buy it, though, because...
01:04:51.000 Oh, you have to.
01:04:52.000 Yeah, but dude, listen.
01:04:54.000 That's a real animal.
01:04:55.000 Well, that's a 100% confirmed animal.
01:04:59.000 But how's it confirmed?
01:05:00.000 They just found it.
01:05:01.000 Who found it?
01:05:03.000 Archaeologists.
01:05:03.000 They dug up an anthropologist.
01:05:05.000 They studied these bones.
01:05:06.000 We're getting $400,000 this year in funds. 0.99
01:05:10.000 If we don't find a goddamn tooth or something, we gotta find... 0.99
01:05:13.000 Well, I dug every fucking place we can, Charlie. 0.99
01:05:16.000 There's a place I know. 0.99
01:05:18.000 It's not a conspiracy.
01:05:19.000 Interesting.
01:05:20.000 It's just another way to get money.
01:05:21.000 Yeah, but they have the bones.
01:05:22.000 You can go see the bones and other anthropologists study the bones.
01:05:25.000 We found the bones and said, get the guy with the white coat.
01:05:28.000 We approximately say that I would say estimated 13,000 possibly, sorry, that's 130,000 years ago that this thing roamed the earth.
01:05:42.000 Oh wow, that's what I can hope.
01:05:45.000 Put it out in the real special ones.
01:05:48.000 Time Magazine and the, what's it called? 0.99
01:05:50.000 What was the fucking monkey called? 0.99
01:05:52.000 Gigantopithecus. 1.00
01:05:53.000 And the Gigantopithecus just discovered. 1.00
01:05:56.000 Read all about it and pay $10, you dumb motherfuckers. 1.00
01:06:01.000 But why is that any weirder than a gorilla? 1.00
01:06:03.000 A gorilla I can see and we physically can see it.
01:06:06.000 Yeah, but almost not.
01:06:08.000 You know, they didn't even know mountain gorillas existed until the 20th century.
01:06:12.000 Because white people never went that way.
01:06:14.000 Yeah, exactly. 1.00
01:06:15.000 When they first got photos of mountain gorillas, they were like, what in the fuck? 0.99
01:06:19.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:06:19.000 They're like, these are real? 0.99
01:06:21.000 1920s?
01:06:21.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:06:22.000 Find out when they first discovered the mountain gorilla.
01:06:24.000 I want to say it was the early 1900s.
01:06:28.000 And, you know, that's an animal that we just take for granted, is definitely being real.
01:06:32.000 There's a lot of those, Jim.
01:06:34.000 I know.
01:06:35.000 There's a guy who's been dedicating his entire life to trying to find a giant sloth in the Amazon.
01:06:40.000 This guy is convinced that the giant sloths in the Amazon still live.
01:06:44.000 Mountain Grill was first discovered by a German officer in 1902. 1902. Captain Robert Von Beringe.
01:06:53.000 Prior to this time, only lowland gorillas were known to exist.
01:06:56.000 The mountain gorilla subspecies is derived from the Captain Robert Von Beringe's last name, Gorilla Beringe?
01:07:04.000 Beringe? 0.99
01:07:05.000 What is that?
01:07:06.000 Gorilla Beringe Beringe?
01:07:07.000 That's his name?
01:07:09.000 Robert Von Beringe.
01:07:11.000 Why do they have to have it twice?
01:07:12.000 Gorilla Beringe Beringe?
01:07:14.000 What's around in 1902?
01:07:16.000 Like, what's going on?
01:07:17.000 Not a lot.
01:07:17.000 Photos are only 40 years old.
01:07:19.000 Think of that. 1.00
01:07:20.000 Before that, they were drawing shit. 1.00
01:07:22.000 That's how crazy that is. 1.00
01:07:24.000 Like sticks.
01:07:25.000 Yeah.
01:07:25.000 And drawing and...
01:07:26.000 Well, I mean, painting.
01:07:28.000 I mean, you know, Michelangelo and all that. 0.99
01:07:29.000 All that shit was before that. 0.96
01:07:30.000 But that was how you got images back then. 0.99
01:07:32.000 You had to paint them.
01:07:33.000 I mean, we don't really...
01:07:35.000 We take photographs for granted so much.
01:07:37.000 We don't realize that the photograph was invented in the 1800s.
01:07:42.000 I mean, that's not that long ago.
01:07:44.000 Alright, now why was this guy even, think about this, 1800s, you don't really have great shoes.
01:07:49.000 Why are you just going up in an area why there's, because he's nowhere near from Africa.
01:07:53.000 Where was the guy from?
01:07:54.000 Well, there was a lot of explorers back there in Africa because they had found it and they started to colonize certain aspects of Africa, like they colonized South Africa, which is why they all have- Which is a nice word for enslaving. 1.00
01:08:06.000 Yeah, Dutch. 0.73
01:08:07.000 The Dutch came to Africa and they enslaved people and they made these settlements and they tried to make settlements in the Congo itself, but the jungle just swallowed everything.
01:08:18.000 Always.
01:08:18.000 They would spend all this money and have boats go down there and they built these beautiful mansions in the Congo.
01:08:24.000 But the Congo always ate it up. 1.00
01:08:26.000 It's just too wild.
01:08:27.000 They just couldn't tame the Congo. 0.94
01:08:29.000 They thought they were going to go there and figure out how to tame that thing.
01:08:32.000 Teach them all about Noah's Ark and things like that and their ABCs.
01:08:39.000 They just couldn't survive.
01:08:40.000 Welcome back in six months.
01:08:40.000 You couldn't survive in the jungle itself.
01:08:42.000 Like, the jungle itself was just so fucking wild. 0.93
01:08:46.000 There's no taming the Congo. 0.94
01:08:48.000 Like, you would have to have, like, a full-scale western invasion to tame the Congo.
01:08:53.000 We would have to clear-cut and start chopping down giant swaths of the forest and putting up malls and blowing coal into the air and lighting everything on fire, and we still wouldn't win.
01:09:04.000 It's just too much of it.
01:09:05.000 It's too big.
01:09:06.000 Too big and too crazy.
01:09:09.000 The Congo gets all the shows? 0.98
01:09:10.000 No, what's those shows where they throw you out there, try to survive?
01:09:13.000 Oh, Naked and Afraid?
01:09:13.000 They don't go to the Congo.
01:09:15.000 They don't go to the Congo.
01:09:16.000 It's the one place they haven't been yet. 1.00
01:09:18.000 You ain't gonna make it, bitch! 1.00
01:09:19.000 We don't have enough insurance to cover you in the Congo. 1.00
01:09:22.000 Naked and Afraid means eaten.
01:09:24.000 You get eaten.
01:09:25.000 But can you imagine?
01:09:26.000 It's 1902. Think of everything you've seen in your life at that moment.
01:09:30.000 Yeah.
01:09:30.000 Right?
01:09:30.000 It's not a whole lot to see.
01:09:32.000 Right.
01:09:33.000 And you're going up the mountains and surely there was a tribe guy or something that was like...
01:09:39.000 Give him that little term like, don't go up there.
01:09:43.000 He didn't know what he was saying.
01:09:44.000 Finally go up there.
01:09:46.000 Imagine first time encountering a gorilla.
01:09:52.000 Jesus.
01:09:52.000 You've never seen anything like that in your life.
01:09:55.000 Is that a fucking... 1.00
01:09:56.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00
01:09:57.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:09:58.000 I've seen maybe a hippo.
01:10:00.000 Is that a hippo?
01:10:01.000 Like, can you imagine just squaring off and if that thing- you ever see like when a gorilla charges?
01:10:08.000 Jesus.
01:10:09.000 And that guy, that guy, I would have flipped out.
01:10:11.000 Yeah, imagine being in a time when there was no photographs and visiting the jungle in Africa and seeing all the wildlife.
01:10:20.000 Seeing a lion. 0.99
01:10:21.000 Seeing a fucking lion. 1.00
01:10:22.000 And what are you in that's going to protect you from it? 1.00
01:10:24.000 A lot of guys had been eaten.
01:10:26.000 Who is this, James?
01:10:27.000 Supposedly the picture, I was just reading a story about when they found it.
01:10:30.000 This is like his encounter.
01:10:31.000 The first one they shot?
01:10:33.000 Yeah, they found him going up a volcano or something, it said.
01:10:36.000 Wow.
01:10:37.000 And they were tracking him and it took him hours to even find it.
01:10:40.000 And a hyena ate half the body by the time they got some of it or something.
01:10:43.000 Whoa.
01:10:44.000 This is a picture.
01:10:44.000 A hyena ate half the body by the time they got to it?
01:10:47.000 Yeah.
01:10:49.000 They said they shot two.
01:10:51.000 They killed two.
01:10:52.000 They shot two.
01:10:52.000 I'm not sure how they killed it.
01:10:53.000 It didn't say, but they retrieved it by rope, and they found it.
01:10:56.000 It was about 200 pounds, the one they found.
01:10:58.000 Dude, Africa is still crazy. 1.00
01:11:01.000 Have you been there?
01:11:01.000 No.
01:11:02.000 I was going to go to Tanzania this summer, but I heard that you have to take all kinds of crazy shots.
01:11:06.000 No, no, no.
01:11:06.000 You take malaria shots?
01:11:09.000 Yeah, I think you take two shots.
01:11:11.000 Yeah, but for kids?
01:11:12.000 Yeah.
01:11:14.000 Did you take your kids to Africa?
01:11:15.000 Yeah.
01:11:16.000 Did you?
01:11:16.000 Yeah.
01:11:17.000 Where'd you guys go?
01:11:18.000 Tanzania.
01:11:19.000 Did you?
01:11:19.000 Yeah, it was sick.
01:11:20.000 Was it?
01:11:21.000 Dude.
01:11:24.000 You can follow...
01:11:25.000 There's a tribe there that you can follow for like two, three days.
01:11:31.000 They take you hunting.
01:11:33.000 Yes.
01:11:34.000 There was a part of where I got really spooked out because the guy we were with who just has a spear...
01:11:40.000 He's just sitting there with a spear.
01:11:42.000 And he's like, you know, stay here, stay here.
01:11:44.000 And he was going after some little animal.
01:11:46.000 And it was just me and my daughter.
01:11:47.000 I'm like, oh my god.
01:11:48.000 What?
01:11:48.000 Yeah.
01:11:49.000 You're spear hunting with an African? 1.00
01:11:51.000 Yes.
01:11:52.000 Did you ever think of that?
01:11:53.000 Like, here I am from Florida.
01:11:54.000 Now I'm spear hunting with some African dude and my kid.
01:11:57.000 I know. 1.00
01:11:58.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00
01:11:59.000 It was weird. 1.00
01:12:00.000 But it was awesome.
01:12:02.000 It was really awesome.
01:12:03.000 You should go on it.
01:12:04.000 I should.
01:12:04.000 You'd lose your mind.
01:12:05.000 No, I should.
01:12:06.000 I have a friend who went there, and he was on a hunting trip, and poachers were in the area, and when they see poachers, they just start shooting at them.
01:12:15.000 Shooting at the poachers?
01:12:16.000 Just shooting at them. 0.98
01:12:17.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:12:17.000 And he's like, you have to shoot them when you see them, because they will shoot you, and they will kill you, and they were getting shot at by poachers. 1.00
01:12:23.000 I'm like, so you were in a gunfight with poachers? 1.00
01:12:25.000 Yeah, because they want that tusk. 0.91
01:12:27.000 They didn't kill anybody.
01:12:28.000 It's not even tusk.
01:12:29.000 A lot of it is just meat.
01:12:30.000 It's like these people are just starving to death.
01:12:32.000 It's crazy.
01:12:33.000 Is that who's coming in to get it?
01:12:34.000 Oh, there's all sorts of different variables.
01:12:38.000 You've got people that are poaching for like rhino horns and their ivory tusks and stuff like that.
01:12:42.000 That's all you really hear about.
01:12:44.000 But then you've got people that are poaching just for meat.
01:12:46.000 They go on someone's private land and they kill the animals and they call them a poacher. 1.00
01:12:50.000 What they really are is just fucking poor people. 1.00
01:12:52.000 That's it. 1.00
01:12:53.000 So anyway, these people, you know, sometimes the poachers will shoot at them and they shoot at the poachers.
01:12:59.000 And so when they're asking, I'm like, what do you do if you shoot one of these?
01:13:02.000 And he goes, most of the time we let the hyenas sort it out.
01:13:06.000 Wow!
01:13:07.000 Let the hyenas sort it out.
01:13:09.000 Can you imagine you're shooting people and just leaving them for hyenas to eat?
01:13:15.000 You've got human-eating hyenas in your backyard, essentially.
01:13:19.000 And you're watching it.
01:13:21.000 And you're accustomed to it now.
01:13:24.000 They must have seen it at least once, right?
01:13:26.000 They must have come upon a guy that they just shot, checked on the body, and seen the hyenas tearing it apart.
01:13:32.000 With that noise.
01:13:35.000 They're the creeps.
01:13:38.000 They're the creepiest.
01:13:40.000 They're so weird. 0.59
01:13:41.000 So weird looking with their big back legs.
01:13:44.000 Or their big front legs and shorter back legs.
01:13:46.000 They're mysteriously dark.
01:13:49.000 They're all lopsided.
01:13:51.000 They're not like flat.
01:13:52.000 You know, like a dog is flat.
01:13:54.000 Hyenas are like a ramp. 1.00
01:13:57.000 Yeah, they slope.
01:13:59.000 They slope downward.
01:14:00.000 They have really big jaws. 1.00
01:14:03.000 Look at that fucking thing. 1.00
01:14:04.000 Look at the size of their head. 1.00
01:14:07.000 Hyena industry and some interesting facts.
01:14:10.000 Oh, history.
01:14:11.000 What is history?
01:14:12.000 Go back to that picture again, please. 1.00
01:14:15.000 Look at the fucking mouth on that thing. 1.00
01:14:17.000 And they don't fear. 1.00
01:14:18.000 They'll go after lions. 0.99
01:14:19.000 Dude, look at the teeth on that thing. 0.99
01:14:21.000 That's insane.
01:14:22.000 That doesn't even look real. 0.99
01:14:23.000 If that was in a movie, you'd be like, fuck, I'm glad that's not real. 1.00
01:14:28.000 Africa's just so gangster. 1.00
01:14:31.000 That's the real deal. 0.99
01:14:33.000 Yeah.
01:14:33.000 You know what's weird is like, that is where life started.
01:14:37.000 And where life started, it's where it's the most ferocious.
01:14:41.000 Think about all the different animals.
01:14:43.000 Did you know that there was a lot of animals like this that lived in North America?
01:14:49.000 There was a hyena that was like a fast-running hyena, a type of hyena.
01:14:54.000 Here?
01:14:54.000 Mm-hmm.
01:14:55.000 In North America.
01:14:56.000 This guy named Dan Flores, he's got this book on the American Serengeti, and he was on my buddy Steve Rinella's podcast talking about it.
01:15:05.000 He's a wildlife historian.
01:15:07.000 Yeah.
01:15:08.000 A nature historian.
01:15:09.000 Yeah.
01:15:09.000 And he was talking about how crazy the animals were in North America just, you know, 100,000 years ago.
01:15:15.000 They don't even know what caused the mass extinction, but there was a bunch of...
01:15:19.000 They had a lion here that was bigger than the African lion.
01:15:22.000 It was called the steppe lion.
01:15:24.000 So is this from the divide?
01:15:27.000 Because I didn't realize that too.
01:15:28.000 Yeah, the continental divide.
01:15:31.000 The Bering Strait.
01:15:32.000 Yeah, but there was also like just mass extinctions here for some strange reason.
01:15:35.000 And they really don't know?
01:15:36.000 They don't know, no.
01:15:37.000 You know, horses, like Native Americans didn't have horses. 1.00
01:15:41.000 The Europeans brought the horses to the Native Americans.
01:15:44.000 I didn't know that.
01:15:44.000 Yeah, but here's where it gets really crazy.
01:15:47.000 Horses evolved in North America.
01:15:49.000 Horses evolved in North America and went extinct.
01:15:52.000 The only horses that survived were the horses that had been captured or had gone across the Bering Strait and made it into Asia.
01:15:58.000 Those are the horses that survived.
01:15:59.000 So then when like Arabian stallions and shit came back from there into North America again, they had literally originally evolved in North America. 0.50
01:16:08.000 All the canines evolved in North America. 0.87
01:16:11.000 Like wolves, hyenas, dingoes, all those things originally came from North America.
01:16:19.000 Coyotes, maybe not dingoes.
01:16:22.000 Isn't that Australian? 0.95
01:16:23.000 It's Australian, but...
01:16:24.000 Do you think they brought them over there, though? 1.00
01:16:26.000 They brought a lot of shit over to Australia. 1.00
01:16:29.000 Australia's filled with animals that don't belong there. 1.00
01:16:31.000 Yeah, and they don't belong anywhere else.
01:16:33.000 No.
01:16:33.000 Well, there's a lot of...
01:16:34.000 Well, there's like kangaroos, which are only there.
01:16:37.000 Panda bear.
01:16:38.000 Is panda bear there?
01:16:39.000 Panda bear. 0.98
01:16:40.000 Not panda bear, the freaking koala bear. 0.98
01:16:42.000 Oh, koala bear. 0.98
01:16:43.000 Koala bear. 1.00
01:16:43.000 They got some weird shit, man. 1.00
01:16:45.000 But they also have like... 1.00
01:16:46.000 Panda bear.
01:16:47.000 They have a ridiculous amount of animals living there.
01:16:50.000 And then they brought in cats to kill some of the animals, and then the cats got out of control.
01:16:54.000 Now they have a feral cat problem.
01:16:57.000 They also have.
01:16:58.000 You know what scares me?
01:16:59.000 I would never...
01:17:01.000 They have too many things that can eat and kill you.
01:17:04.000 I think more than Africa. 0.71
01:17:05.000 You can't swim in the ocean and they get the saltwater crocs.
01:17:08.000 Oh, the worst saltwater crocs and the worst shark attacks.
01:17:12.000 South Africa and Australia have the worst shark attacks.
01:17:18.000 The snakes.
01:17:19.000 They got the worst snakes.
01:17:21.000 Bugs, spiders. 0.99
01:17:22.000 All kinds of spiders that'll fuck you up. 0.99
01:17:23.000 They try to oust them. 1.00
01:17:25.000 But the people are cool as fuck. 1.00
01:17:27.000 Australian people are some of the coolest fucking people you'll ever meet. 0.99
01:17:31.000 I'm a big fan. 0.99
01:17:32.000 I'm a big fan of Australian people.
01:17:34.000 If you had to move, is that where you'd go?
01:17:37.000 Well, that's a good spot to move because it's on the other side of the world.
01:17:40.000 So if we blow this thing up...
01:17:43.000 And we need somebody with a greenhouse in Sydney.
01:17:45.000 That's the move.
01:17:46.000 Because if we don't make it, if America doesn't make it, like say if Yellowstone blows.
01:17:51.000 If Yellowstone blows up and kills everybody on the continent, you're going to have to go somewhere where the transition would not be that difficult.
01:17:58.000 And Australia, I think, is the furthest away where the transition would be easy.
01:18:03.000 What if it got too crazy and it was way too many people?
01:18:06.000 In Australia?
01:18:06.000 And they literally were like, you can't, we're cutting the borders.
01:18:09.000 They do that, you know, in Australia.
01:18:11.000 That's one of the reasons why Australia is so awesome. 0.99
01:18:12.000 When a bunch of immigrants show up in a boat, they're like, eh, not so fast, fuckface. 1.00
01:18:16.000 They turn them around, they send them to some shitty island. 1.00
01:18:19.000 We got our own ruse here. 0.98
01:18:20.000 They make them eat bugs.
01:18:21.000 Yeah, it's not good.
01:18:23.000 It's not good.
01:18:23.000 I'm not kidding, man.
01:18:25.000 They're brutal.
01:18:26.000 Their anti-immigration policy is widely criticized, but it's one of the reasons why apparently it's so...
01:18:33.000 Who was it that told us about that?
01:18:34.000 Josh Zeps?
01:18:35.000 Was he the first one that told us about that?
01:18:38.000 One of the guests who was from Australia, I believe it was Josh, was explaining how crazy they are about stopping immigration. 1.00
01:18:47.000 Illegal immigration is like a no-no over there.
01:18:49.000 They just won't let it happen.
01:18:50.000 That would...
01:18:52.000 That's like a scene of a movie.
01:18:54.000 Something goes down here.
01:18:56.000 Yeah, man.
01:18:57.000 Millions of people going down there, and they're not letting you in now.
01:19:00.000 There's so many of them.
01:19:00.000 Sorry, I can't let you in.
01:19:01.000 There's so many people from all over the world, but there's only 20 million people in all of Australia or something like that.
01:19:06.000 I think Australia itself, the whole continent of Australia, has the same amount of people as California.
01:19:13.000 Really?
01:19:14.000 Yep.
01:19:14.000 And it's as big as the United States.
01:19:16.000 Because you can't live on a lot.
01:19:17.000 Is there a lot of desert there? 1.00
01:19:18.000 Well, you can't if you're a pussy. 1.00
01:19:20.000 What if you're a fucking man and just move out? 1.00
01:19:22.000 23 million. 1.00
01:19:23.000 So it's probably less than California.
01:19:25.000 Yeah, California is probably like 30 million.
01:19:27.000 If I had to guess, how many people are in California?
01:19:30.000 No?
01:19:30.000 Official population is probably going to be a little under, but easily, that money.
01:19:34.000 Yeah, they're not counting Mexicans either.
01:19:36.000 No offense to my Mexican friends, but... 0.99
01:19:38.000 Listen, I wouldn't have my fucking paperwork either. 1.00
01:19:41.000 Fuck it. 1.00
01:19:42.000 No, 38. 38 million? 1.00
01:19:44.000 Jesus Christ!
01:19:45.000 And that's not even including illegal aliens, right? 0.99
01:19:49.000 You know another fucking crazy thing? 0.99
01:19:51.000 Somebody brought this up somewhere recently. 0.99
01:19:54.000 I forget who it was.
01:19:55.000 Maybe I read it somewhere.
01:19:57.000 They were talking about what percentage of Native Americans are in Mexico.
01:20:04.000 Mexico has a lot of people that a good percentage of their genes are Native American.
01:20:09.000 The same as the people that came from Siberia.
01:20:13.000 In Mexico?
01:20:14.000 Yeah.
01:20:15.000 I believe that.
01:20:16.000 The genetic differences between Mexicans and Native Americans is very small.
01:20:21.000 Well, there's a lot of times, and I'm not to offend anyone, I'm just being honest, where I can see that a lot.
01:20:29.000 I couldn't tell, is that person Mexican or is that person a Native American?
01:20:34.000 I swear to God. 0.96
01:20:35.000 I just did the other day at freaking CityWalk. 0.91
01:20:39.000 I was trying to be racist and I wasn't sure which way to go.
01:20:42.000 How do I culturally appropriate?
01:20:44.000 A sombrero or a feather?
01:20:47.000 Interesting, right?
01:20:48.000 No, yeah.
01:20:51.000 Makes sense.
01:20:52.000 Yeah, they all came down from Asia. 1.00
01:20:54.000 Along with all these fucking crazy animals that this guy Dan Flores is talking about. 0.99
01:20:59.000 They had a single short-faced bear. 0.99
01:21:01.000 Is that what it's called, Jamie?
01:21:04.000 Short-faced bear. 0.99
01:21:04.000 This fucking enormous, terrifying bear that they think was one of the reasons why people didn't come to North America sooner because they were so dangerous. 0.99
01:21:11.000 They were huge, like bigger than grizzlies and super predatory. 0.99
01:21:15.000 And so like when people were coming across the Bering Stray, they were probably just getting picked off.
01:21:19.000 Ugh! 0.97
01:21:20.000 Look at that thing. 0.92
01:21:21.000 Ugh! 0.97
01:21:22.000 Look at it.
01:21:22.000 It's giant and it's chasing down a buffalo in this photo.
01:21:25.000 You ever watch some YouTube videos? 1.00
01:21:27.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00
01:21:28.000 The grizzly just chasing the moose down the street. 1.00
01:21:31.000 Yeah.
01:21:31.000 It just takes him down and he knows he's gonna get him.
01:21:35.000 The moose is half eaten.
01:21:37.000 Still running.
01:21:38.000 Just looking back.
01:21:40.000 He's like, I'm gonna catch up to you.
01:21:43.000 It's horrifying.
01:21:45.000 It's scary, but it's also real.
01:21:48.000 God, these things still exist and can eat you at any moment.
01:21:51.000 We're still part of the wild.
01:21:52.000 Oh, we are.
01:21:53.000 We've just made cities.
01:21:54.000 Here's one.
01:21:55.000 That's the one I'm talking about.
01:21:57.000 Yeah, chasing this buffalo. 0.77
01:21:58.000 A giant-ass grizzly chasing a buffalo. 0.90
01:22:00.000 He's half torn up already. 0.97
01:22:02.000 God, he's so big.
01:22:04.000 They say that that buffalo got burned in some sort of a volcanic fire or something like that.
01:22:10.000 That was an already injured buffalo.
01:22:13.000 Look at him.
01:22:14.000 He's already had enough.
01:22:15.000 Oh, that bear is so terrifying.
01:22:18.000 Look at his mouth.
01:22:19.000 He's foaming.
01:22:20.000 He is foaming.
01:22:20.000 Look, he's got an air.
01:22:22.000 He's in the air, dude.
01:22:24.000 And he probably weighs 500 pounds.
01:22:26.000 At least.
01:22:27.000 And he's booking it down the street. 1.00
01:22:29.000 Shit, he probably weighs more than 500 pounds. 1.00
01:22:30.000 If that's a buffalo, he's probably like 600 or 700 pounds. 0.99
01:22:34.000 What am I guessing?
01:22:35.000 What do you weigh?
01:22:35.000 What am I, fat shaming a bear?
01:22:38.000 Why do I care what he weighs?
01:22:40.000 I'm obsessed with a number.
01:22:42.000 Did you see...
01:22:43.000 I don't know if you're watching, but I just watched it on the plane.
01:22:47.000 What's the Leonardo DiCaprio one?
01:22:49.000 Where he gets...
01:22:50.000 Oh, the Revenant.
01:22:51.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:22:52.000 Did you see the scene?
01:22:53.000 Yeah.
01:22:54.000 The bear scene?
01:22:55.000 Yeah.
01:22:57.000 That's the first time, actually, I don't know what you think of it, but that's the first time where I saw how quick that can happen.
01:23:04.000 I thought they made it real how a bear can just, within a second he's on you, it's over.
01:23:09.000 They're so big, and they move so much faster than a person can.
01:23:13.000 We judge everything based on what we can do.
01:23:16.000 Like, we see an animal, we're like, okay, if I had to run towards him right now, how long would it take? 0.95
01:23:20.000 But the timeline that an animal can close in on you versus what you can do to them is so goddamn different.
01:23:26.000 Like, you just don't understand how fast they are. 0.97
01:23:31.000 Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage. 0.86
01:23:35.000 But you live in New Jersey. 0.94
01:23:37.000 New Jersey's got a crazy bear problem.
01:23:39.000 They're overrun with bears in some areas.
01:23:42.000 Um...
01:23:44.000 There's bears, but...
01:23:46.000 They're black bears.
01:23:47.000 Yeah, no one...
01:23:48.000 Not as scary.
01:23:49.000 They get spooked out really easily.
01:23:51.000 Yeah.
01:23:52.000 They're scavengers. 0.99
01:23:53.000 They're just looking for garbage. 1.00
01:23:54.000 They don't care about you. 1.00
01:23:55.000 They are for the most part.
01:23:57.000 They definitely do turn predatory though when they get really hungry.
01:24:00.000 Some of them are predatory.
01:24:01.000 I know a guy who was camping with some dude.
01:24:04.000 It was his first hunting trip and he got attacked in his tent by a 500 pound predatory black bear.
01:24:10.000 Huge, hungry, older black bear.
01:24:13.000 Just took a chance.
01:24:14.000 Went in the tent and just tried to jack him in his tent.
01:24:16.000 His friend shot the bear, shot through the bear and hit him in the wrist.
01:24:20.000 So he wound up getting a broken wrist from the rifle.
01:24:24.000 And they chased the bear out of the tent and shot it in the woods.
01:24:28.000 Wow. 1.00
01:24:29.000 How about that for your first fucking camping trip? 1.00
01:24:32.000 No! 1.00
01:24:34.000 Tony, no.
01:24:35.000 You're not gonna see animals.
01:24:37.000 That could be bears.
01:24:39.000 Everything's fine.
01:24:40.000 Most of the time nothing happens.
01:24:42.000 Most of the time they run away.
01:24:42.000 But they killed that kid at Rutgers.
01:24:44.000 Was it like a year and a half ago?
01:24:45.000 The kid who got eaten at Rutgers.
01:24:47.000 Rutgers?
01:24:48.000 Yeah.
01:24:48.000 Yeah, he was a kid from Rutgers outside in the woods and took a photo of the bear right before it ate him too.
01:24:55.000 They got a photo of the very bear that wound up killing him.
01:24:58.000 Apparently they ran and they saw the bear and they freaked out and ran and when they ran the bear chased them.
01:25:05.000 And one of them...
01:25:06.000 What kind of bear was it?
01:25:07.000 Black bear.
01:25:08.000 A black bear?
01:25:09.000 I didn't even know they ate meat.
01:25:10.000 There it is.
01:25:11.000 Hiker snap photo of bear before fatal attack in West Milford.
01:25:14.000 That's the bear right there.
01:25:17.000 Yeah, I mean, if they have an opportunity to eat you, they eat you.
01:25:21.000 They eat each other.
01:25:22.000 I mean, if you kill a black bear and leave it there, the other ones will eat it.
01:25:26.000 Wow, that's scary. 0.99
01:25:27.000 Yeah, they're a gangster.
01:25:28.000 That's near my house. 0.96
01:25:30.000 Yeah, that's a real animal, dude.
01:25:33.000 I mean, you guys have a lot of them in New Jersey.
01:25:35.000 Yeah, we saw them a couple times in the last two, three years.
01:25:38.000 They would come up on my back deck and tear down the bird feeder.
01:25:42.000 Whoa.
01:25:43.000 Just right outside the...
01:25:44.000 And they're big creatures.
01:25:46.000 Yeah, how big was the one you saw?
01:25:48.000 Um...
01:25:50.000 Maybe like...
01:25:51.000 Like a big dog?
01:25:52.000 No!
01:25:53.000 It's a little bigger than a dog.
01:25:55.000 Like a couple hundred pounds, probably.
01:25:57.000 300? 1.00
01:26:00.000 That's a fucking big animal, man. 1.00
01:26:02.000 Look at that thing. 1.00
01:26:03.000 Holy shit! 1.00
01:26:04.000 Bear takes a dip in New Jersey's family pool. 1.00
01:26:07.000 Yeah.
01:26:07.000 That's a big one, too, man.
01:26:10.000 Goddamn, that's a big-ass bear to find swimming in your fucking pool. 1.00
01:26:14.000 Holy shit! 1.00
01:26:16.000 Look at the size of him! 1.00
01:26:17.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:26:19.000 See, that's a mature old bear that doesn't give a fuck. 0.99
01:26:24.000 Right. 0.99
01:26:25.000 That's just so weird that they live with people in New Jersey of all places. 0.98
01:26:29.000 There's two wacky black ones. 1.00
01:26:32.000 There's a good video in my nephew's neighborhood where the two black bears are going at it.
01:26:40.000 Oh, Far Rockaway?
01:26:41.000 Yes.
01:26:41.000 Is that the one?
01:26:42.000 Yeah, I've seen that.
01:26:42.000 We played that before.
01:26:44.000 And then there's one in Jersey that walks on its hind legs.
01:26:48.000 Yeah.
01:26:48.000 Did you see that one?
01:26:49.000 Yeah.
01:26:50.000 It's Bigfoot, bro.
01:26:51.000 That's what Bigfoot is.
01:26:52.000 Go Bobcat! 0.99
01:26:54.000 Bobcat!
01:26:54.000 I found a new Bigfoot video for you.
01:26:56.000 I think that's exactly what we're seeing.
01:26:59.000 Bears can do that apparently all the time. 0.85
01:27:01.000 They can walk on their hind legs.
01:27:02.000 They just don't do it very often.
01:27:04.000 Look at that thing. 0.92
01:27:05.000 That's weird.
01:27:06.000 But he walks through the neighborhood like that, too.
01:27:08.000 If you were, like, at dusk, right?
01:27:11.000 Right.
01:27:12.000 And it was really dark out, and you saw that thing walking through, like, a glint of moonlight, you would swear it was a giant gorilla.
01:27:18.000 Yeah, that's Bigfoot.
01:27:20.000 That's Bigfoot.
01:27:21.000 Listen, I know him before, I joked at Bigfoot, but I saw him last night.
01:27:26.000 Look at that thing! 0.99
01:27:27.000 But for real, like, a black bear can easily get to be seven feet.
01:27:30.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:27:31.000 So if you got a seven-foot black bear and you see it walking through the woods, or even a fucking six-and-a-half-foot black bear when you're shitting your pants... 0.99
01:27:37.000 Look at that! 0.99
01:27:38.000 Yeah.
01:27:38.000 You're gonna swear it's way bigger than it was.
01:27:40.000 He's just walking on his hind legs.
01:27:42.000 Nobody ever underestimates a giant two-foot, you know, walking on two-leg gorilla.
01:27:47.000 You don't underestimate the size of that thing.
01:27:49.000 You overestimate it.
01:27:50.000 Right.
01:27:50.000 You know?
01:27:51.000 If it's six feet tall, you say he was fucking eight feet tall. 0.99
01:27:54.000 Right. 0.99
01:27:55.000 Yeah.
01:27:56.000 Oh my god.
01:27:58.000 New Jersey's pretty rural.
01:27:59.000 People don't realize that.
01:28:00.000 They think of New Jersey as being like where Tony Soprano lived.
01:28:05.000 Yes.
01:28:05.000 Or they think it's Newark Airport.
01:28:08.000 Hoboken.
01:28:09.000 Hoboken.
01:28:10.000 Yeah.
01:28:10.000 There's a lot of woods in Jersey.
01:28:11.000 And you also have the shore.
01:28:13.000 And the Jersey Devil.
01:28:14.000 And the Jersey Devil.
01:28:16.000 Have you ever seen it?
01:28:17.000 I might have heard him.
01:28:20.000 I might have heard him.
01:28:22.000 What does it sound like?
01:28:24.000 It's a little bit like a screech owl.
01:28:27.000 Ooh.
01:28:28.000 Yeah.
01:28:28.000 It's really eerie.
01:28:29.000 Maybe it's just a screech owl.
01:28:30.000 It could be.
01:28:31.000 That's the problem.
01:28:36.000 There it is.
01:28:37.000 There's the Jersey Devil. 0.99
01:28:38.000 It looks like a camel fucked a dragon. 0.99
01:28:41.000 I will say this. 0.99
01:28:43.000 I will say this.
01:28:44.000 One night, my wife and I were sleeping and on the roof.
01:28:49.000 This really did happen.
01:28:51.000 It sounded like something landed on that roof.
01:28:55.000 That was me, bro.
01:28:56.000 Look at it.
01:28:57.000 It's a goat with wings.
01:28:58.000 Is that the Jersey Devil caught?
01:29:00.000 What is that?
01:29:00.000 An actual photo?
01:29:01.000 Look at this.
01:29:03.000 See, here's the thing, right? 0.99
01:29:05.000 Jersey Devil doesn't scare me as much as a fucking alligator that pulls babies out of Disneyland and drags them into the lagoon. 0.99
01:29:11.000 That's a real thing. 0.99
01:29:13.000 Can you imagine?
01:29:15.000 I've been in that with my kids.
01:29:19.000 I've been in that.
01:29:20.000 They need to have signs.
01:29:22.000 I think they do.
01:29:23.000 It says, don't go in the water.
01:29:25.000 It didn't say that's filled with dinosaurs?
01:29:26.000 It didn't say there's man-eating dinosaurs in there.
01:29:30.000 That's where I think the problem's gonna lie for them.
01:29:33.000 If you're from Florida, I still live there.
01:29:35.000 You heard about it all the time.
01:29:36.000 Small dogs, a two-year-old toddler.
01:29:39.000 I lived there too.
01:29:40.000 I lived in Gainesville between ages of...
01:29:43.000 What year was it?
01:29:46.000 It was like the early 70s.
01:29:48.000 We lived there for like three years at Gainesville.
01:29:50.000 Wow, you were young.
01:29:50.000 Yeah, around Lake Dallas.
01:29:53.000 Look at that thing. 0.92
01:29:54.000 Oh, they climb fences now.
01:29:55.000 Have you seen this?
01:29:56.000 This is so scary.
01:29:58.000 But I talked about this in the podcast recently.
01:30:00.000 When I was a kid and we lived there, they were endangered.
01:30:02.000 And so you couldn't hunt them.
01:30:04.000 Nobody hunted them.
01:30:05.000 And now they have so many of them that they give out hunting tags like for that Swamp People show.
01:30:10.000 You ever watch that show where they kill alligators?
01:30:12.000 Horrifying.
01:30:12.000 That guy had 500 tags.
01:30:14.000 He could kill 500 alligators. 1.00
01:30:16.000 How many fucking alligators do they have where you give someone 500 tags? 1.00
01:30:20.000 Yeah, it's crazy. 0.99
01:30:21.000 You've got a real problem then.
01:30:22.000 I would say so.
01:30:22.000 Look at this guy.
01:30:23.000 He's climbing a fence.
01:30:25.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00
01:30:27.000 Look at that fucking thing. 1.00
01:30:28.000 I mean, that is straight out of 200 million years ago. 1.00
01:30:33.000 That's a dinosaur.
01:30:34.000 I don't think they've changed in 100 million years or something crazy like that.
01:30:38.000 There's some nutty number.
01:30:39.000 It's like 50 million, something like that.
01:30:42.000 Like how long dinosaurs or alligators have been exactly the same.
01:30:47.000 You're just food.
01:30:49.000 Just food.
01:30:50.000 That's all you are.
01:30:51.000 I don't see your wife or kids.
01:30:53.000 I just see food.
01:30:54.000 It's not like you look at the baby deer with the mama deer and you go, I can't shoot her.
01:30:58.000 She's got the baby.
01:31:00.000 You hear about the Splash Mountain alligator that someone posted this video of?
01:31:03.000 What?
01:31:04.000 What?
01:31:04.000 This alligator was, like, right next to Splash Mountain.
01:31:08.000 I'll pull up the...
01:31:09.000 Where?
01:31:09.000 There's a worker.
01:31:10.000 In Disney?
01:31:11.000 Yeah, watch how close the people get to it.
01:31:14.000 Oh, wow!
01:31:14.000 This worker's, like, smacking it away with a stick.
01:31:16.000 What?
01:31:17.000 This was in, like, 2009, I think.
01:31:20.000 Whoa! 0.99
01:31:20.000 Okay, how do you not just kill that thing? 0.99
01:31:22.000 You gotta kill it. 1.00
01:31:24.000 Look, it's little enough right now that you can kill it. 1.00
01:31:26.000 That's a little baby alligator. 0.99
01:31:28.000 Well that's a small alligator, right?
01:31:33.000 No!
01:31:34.000 Wow, he's right next to it.
01:31:35.000 He's right next to it.
01:31:37.000 Yeah, look at that.
01:31:38.000 Oh my god. 1.00
01:31:39.000 They just tolerate that kind of shit in Florida. 1.00
01:31:41.000 That seems like a really little alligator, by the way. 1.00
01:31:44.000 He's little, but he could do a little damage. 1.00
01:31:46.000 I'll fuck that alligator up. 1.00
01:31:47.000 I'll tell you right now, I will fuck that alligator up. 1.00
01:31:49.000 I'll grab it by its tail, and I'll bounce its head right off that sidewalk over and over again, and I'll turn it into a dick holster. 1.00
01:31:58.000 I'll make him cradle my balls for the rest of time. 0.99
01:32:02.000 Look at this guy's gonna get a net and try to scoop it up. 1.00
01:32:05.000 What is this asshole doing with a net? 1.00
01:32:06.000 You need a gun, son. 1.00
01:32:08.000 He's got like the end of the pool skimmer. 0.94
01:32:10.000 Go get yourself a crossbow. 1.00
01:32:12.000 Shoot that fucking thing right in its caveman brain. 1.00
01:32:16.000 Caveman brain. 1.00
01:32:17.000 Wow. 0.66
01:32:18.000 What's wrong with me?
01:32:19.000 That's a lizard.
01:32:20.000 I mean, that's a heartless, thoughtless creature that exists to eat things.
01:32:25.000 That's it.
01:32:26.000 That's all it does.
01:32:27.000 They're coming, too.
01:32:28.000 There's more of them now than they've ever been before. 0.99
01:32:30.000 And this trend continues, you've got a real fucking problem. 0.96
01:32:33.000 Because when I was living there, I'm trying to figure out what year. 0.99
01:32:37.000 I was born in 67. We lived in Florida until I was 11. No, we lived in San Francisco from age 7 to 11. So...
01:32:46.000 I was 11 years old.
01:32:47.000 Somewhere around then.
01:32:48.000 What year was that?
01:32:49.000 What year?
01:32:49.000 73?
01:32:50.000 I'm way too stupid. 1.00
01:32:51.000 If it was 73, you're probably about 5 years old. 1.00
01:32:53.000 6 or 7 years old.
01:32:54.000 No.
01:32:55.000 73, I was 6. Yeah, so...
01:32:58.000 So somewhere around...
01:33:00.000 We're talking somewhere around 1977. Okay?
01:33:03.000 Okay, so you're like...
01:33:04.000 10 to 12. These are kind of prime.
01:33:07.000 These are big years.
01:33:07.000 So just think about this year, 1977. Now think about 2016. So in 77, they're protected.
01:33:12.000 In 2016, you can kill 500 of them. 1.00
01:33:15.000 What the fuck is it going to be like 50 years from now? 1.00
01:33:19.000 What is it going to be like in 2066? 0.95
01:33:22.000 Are you going to be able to go anywhere near there?
01:33:24.000 Or is it just going to be some crazy Congo-type situation?
01:33:27.000 Or every time you get out of your car, something's trying to eat you and kill you?
01:33:31.000 I think they're gonna...
01:33:32.000 America will, under the guise of President Trump, President Trump will guide us.
01:33:39.000 He lives in Florida.
01:33:40.000 I live in Florida! 1.00
01:33:44.000 We will kill them all! 1.00
01:33:46.000 We will have golf! 1.00
01:33:50.000 He likes golf, right?
01:33:51.000 He's a golf guy.
01:33:52.000 Is he? 1.00
01:33:52.000 Yeah, he's got golf courses and shit. 1.00
01:33:54.000 He designs golf courses. 0.99
01:33:55.000 So he's not going to tolerate people getting eaten by...
01:33:57.000 What if, like, Jack Nicklaus, one of those older dudes, was at an event, and something just... 1.00
01:34:03.000 That big 15-footer that they got on video the other day just says, enough is enough, and jumps out and grabs him right by his polyester pants, right by the dick. 0.99
01:34:12.000 Just right over. 1.00
01:34:14.000 Back, front, front, with the eyes, the dick side, and then the bottom is on the asshole side, and just clamps him right up the middle, like a paperclip, and drags him into the water. 0.99
01:34:25.000 Drags him into the water and flips him a couple times. 0.99
01:34:28.000 Because it doesn't give a fuck about CBS filming some golf show. 0.98
01:34:31.000 No. 1.00
01:34:32.000 Doesn't give a fuck. 1.00
01:34:33.000 It's not going to not kill you, because this is CBS Golf Day. 1.00
01:34:37.000 That's right.
01:34:39.000 Why, the women are doing wonderful today. 1.00
01:34:41.000 Women golfers have really come a long way. 1.00
01:34:44.000 Oh, Jesus! 1.00
01:34:45.000 Alligator comes out, eats a lesbian. 1.00
01:34:48.000 Drags her. 1.00
01:34:48.000 Just drags her right into the water. 1.00
01:34:51.000 Doesn't give a fuck about your show. 1.00
01:34:54.000 She's got a 50 million year old brain. 1.00
01:34:56.000 There's three brain cells in there just trying to find things.
01:34:59.000 Things they can eat.
01:35:00.000 Eat. 1.00
01:35:01.000 Eat fuck. 1.00
01:35:02.000 Eat fuck. 1.00
01:35:02.000 Eat fuck. 1.00
01:35:03.000 Take nap in water. 1.00
01:35:07.000 They found Nile crocodiles in Florida.
01:35:09.000 Did they?
01:35:10.000 Yeah.
01:35:11.000 They found quite a few of them.
01:35:12.000 They have a shoot on site thing for Nile crocodiles now. 1.00
01:35:15.000 They say if you see them, you have to kill them. 0.99
01:35:17.000 Because they've already found, I believe they've found four. 1.00
01:35:20.000 And they're definitely laying eggs.
01:35:23.000 They're definitely breeding.
01:35:24.000 And if they found four, there could be hundreds.
01:35:28.000 Like, they literally don't know how many Nile crocodiles there are in Florida.
01:35:31.000 And you're not going to eradicate them.
01:35:32.000 So you just have to do your best to try to curb the population. 1.00
01:35:35.000 Dude, this is like modern-day Tarzan shit. 1.00
01:35:38.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
01:35:39.000 Ha-ha! 1.00
01:35:40.000 They are trying to civilize those tribal people!
01:35:44.000 From the beginning of time!
01:35:47.000 Now we put the jungle to them!
01:35:49.000 Send them great white sharks! 1.00
01:35:50.000 Send them alligators! 1.00
01:35:52.000 Do you think it's a coincidence that it's all happening in Florida?
01:35:56.000 Tony Montana, cocaine cowboys, all the coke, all the pills, okay, all the oxys.
01:36:01.000 Florida gave out more oxy prescriptions than the rest of the country combined.
01:36:04.000 Really?
01:36:05.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
01:36:05.000 All that shit's going on there with alligators and Nile crocodiles and fucking vipers in people's yards. 1.00
01:36:11.000 All these crazy snakes and pythons and people just, eh, I don't want to take care of it anymore. 1.00
01:36:16.000 They throw it out their fucking back door. 0.99
01:36:18.000 Right. 1.00
01:36:18.000 That's what they did in Florida. 1.00
01:36:20.000 Right, the pythons.
01:36:21.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:36:22.000 10, 15, 20. They get huge and they eat people.
01:36:25.000 Oh yeah. 1.00
01:36:26.000 Fuck yeah, they'll eat people. 1.00
01:36:27.000 They'll eat everything. 1.00
01:36:28.000 You go to sleep.
01:36:29.000 That's another thing.
01:36:30.000 Just lives to eat.
01:36:32.000 And it sizes you up.
01:36:34.000 Makes its way through your air ventilation system.
01:36:36.000 It's as fat as the pipe that your air conditioning comes out.
01:36:39.000 Look at this.
01:36:40.000 Nile crocodile identified in South Florida.
01:36:42.000 Jesus Christ, this is just last month.
01:36:44.000 This is another one. 1.00
01:36:45.000 Fuck, man. 1.00
01:36:46.000 May 21st. 1.00
01:36:47.000 Those are goddamn dangerous. 0.99
01:36:49.000 They are really scary. 0.99
01:36:50.000 Those are the things that eat the wildebeest, right?
01:36:52.000 Exactly.
01:36:53.000 They're really scary.
01:36:54.000 Because they're way bigger and way more aggressive.
01:36:58.000 Like, you can't be anywhere near them.
01:37:00.000 They're very different, like, temperament-wise than alligators.
01:37:02.000 Send them the beast. 0.96
01:37:04.000 Yes.
01:37:05.000 Yes.
01:37:05.000 But we don't have weapons.
01:37:07.000 But we have beasts.
01:37:09.000 Allow them to buy their own beasts and they'll leash them upon themselves. 1.00
01:37:13.000 I love that idea. 1.00
01:37:14.000 Let them unleash their own punishment through their stupidity. 1.00
01:37:18.000 Their weakness is greed. 1.00
01:37:20.000 They will continue till they kill themselves. 0.79
01:37:23.000 What about the ones who are strong? 0.99
01:37:25.000 Get them pills.
01:37:26.000 Make them weak.
01:37:28.000 OxyContin!
01:37:30.000 Oxy doesn't sound like something that'll kill you.
01:37:32.000 Sounds like a cool chick that we know. 1.00
01:37:34.000 She plays in a band.
01:37:35.000 Hey, where's Oxy?
01:37:37.000 Oh, uh, Oxy went to visit her family in Sweden.
01:37:40.000 Oh, that's cool.
01:37:41.000 She's so badass. 0.99
01:37:43.000 That's Oxy, you know?
01:37:44.000 Oxy! 0.99
01:37:45.000 Hey, Oxy's back!
01:37:47.000 She's got beautiful hair.
01:37:48.000 Big smile.
01:37:49.000 If it was like a Scooby-Doo band, Oxy would be like their friend that comes over and plays along with them.
01:37:55.000 Like, you know, she's pretty, but there's not even a hint of any sexual attraction with anybody. 0.99
01:37:59.000 Oxy doesn't fuck. 1.00
01:38:00.000 No one fucks. 1.00
01:38:01.000 No, she just makes the situation better. 1.00
01:38:03.000 Yeah, yeah, she's just cool.
01:38:05.000 She comes back over and the band plays a cool song and credits roll.
01:38:08.000 Oxy.
01:38:09.000 Programming.
01:38:11.000 Programmed America and fed them alligators.
01:38:13.000 Apparently alligators taste really good.
01:38:15.000 No, they don't.
01:38:16.000 No?
01:38:16.000 No.
01:38:17.000 What makes you say that?
01:38:18.000 You've eaten them?
01:38:19.000 At least that's what they said they were.
01:38:21.000 Oh, you've had like those alligator... 0.75
01:38:22.000 Gator tail and fried gator.
01:38:24.000 Yeah.
01:38:25.000 They say you gotta eat it fresh.
01:38:26.000 They say you gotta eat it fresh, but apparently it has more protein per pound of meat than any other wild game.
01:38:32.000 Really?
01:38:33.000 Yeah, it's up there as high as anything else.
01:38:36.000 Higher than even elk and buffalo and bison and things like that.
01:38:41.000 I hated it.
01:38:42.000 Find out if that's true.
01:38:44.000 I don't want a lot of people.
01:38:45.000 It was chewy. 1.00
01:38:47.000 I thought it tasted like shit. 1.00
01:38:48.000 A little fishy. 1.00
01:38:49.000 But I think that's because it's prepared bad. 0.98
01:38:51.000 I think you're getting it from some sort of like fucking Fridays or something like that, like kind of a chain. 0.91
01:38:56.000 They say if you get it the right way, fresh, and then cook it like the correct way, it's apparently very delicious. 0.93
01:39:03.000 Or probably just, yeah.
01:39:05.000 Yeah, you're probably right.
01:39:07.000 I might get it, because I didn't...
01:39:08.000 I remember the restaurant was like a special, so it was probably like a trial run, and some guy's cousin was like, trust me, you just cut these up.
01:39:16.000 Yeah.
01:39:16.000 And you fry them, they're amazing.
01:39:18.000 46 grams of protein per serving. 1.00
01:39:21.000 Holy shit. 1.00
01:39:22.000 That's insane. 1.00
01:39:24.000 Let's start eating them.
01:39:25.000 That's incredible.
01:39:26.000 I think that's way more than anything else.
01:39:28.000 Gator.
01:39:29.000 I'll try, I'll find something.
01:39:29.000 The new meat.
01:39:31.000 The other meat.
01:39:32.000 That's incredible.
01:39:36.000 Hold on a second.
01:39:36.000 This is only 3.2 ounces.
01:39:39.000 For 3.2 ounces, it's 46 grams of protein.
01:39:42.000 That's insane.
01:39:45.000 That is what it says, right?
01:39:46.000 It says 3.2 ounces?
01:39:47.000 Yeah, that's what it says.
01:39:48.000 Dude, that's incredible.
01:39:51.000 That's...
01:39:52.000 I mean, it makes sense. 1.00
01:39:54.000 You're eating a goddamn dinosaur, you know? 1.00
01:39:56.000 Dinosaur. 1.00
01:39:57.000 You're eating its tail.
01:40:00.000 That's what you eat.
01:40:00.000 It's all muscle.
01:40:01.000 Yeah, it's all muscle.
01:40:02.000 They cut it up into, like, steaks.
01:40:05.000 Better be prepared good, though.
01:40:07.000 Yeah, I would like to try it. 0.99
01:40:09.000 I mean, I'm just talking out of my ass. 0.99
01:40:10.000 What's that? 1.00
01:40:11.000 Twice as much as domestic beef.
01:40:12.000 Whoa! 0.71
01:40:13.000 Twice as much as domestic beef. 1.00
01:40:15.000 Well, why don't we feed people fucking alligators, man? 1.00
01:40:18.000 Why don't we give it a run? 0.99
01:40:19.000 Yeah, because all these people are worried about, you know, like, large-scale consuming of beef and the harm on the environment. 1.00
01:40:26.000 We gotta kill these goddamn alligators. 1.00
01:40:28.000 Start eating them. 1.00
01:40:28.000 Start fucking eating them. 1.00
01:40:30.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:40:30.000 Grow alligator farms and kill these fucking cunts. 1.00
01:40:32.000 And you'll lose weight. 1.00
01:40:34.000 Because you're eating pure protein.
01:40:36.000 Right?
01:40:37.000 So you're...
01:40:38.000 I don't know.
01:40:38.000 Does it?
01:40:38.000 I'm asking.
01:40:39.000 Probably.
01:40:39.000 You probably get all ramped up.
01:40:41.000 I bet if you eat that stuff, it's probably like super primal. 1.00
01:40:44.000 If you're eating an alligator, your dick probably gets hard as a rock. 1.00
01:40:51.000 I mean, have you ever thought of that? 1.00
01:40:53.000 No.
01:40:54.000 It's gotta happen.
01:40:56.000 It only makes sense.
01:40:58.000 Like, why else would dudes eat like mountain lions?
01:41:00.000 Do you know people eat mountain lions?
01:41:03.000 Yeah, the loin, the muscles and the back straps, the muscles that are on the outside of the spine, that's where the tenderloin is on a beef cow, like inside, connected to the spine.
01:41:16.000 That's the same meat they like to get off of mountain lions.
01:41:20.000 But, I mean, why would anybody eat that? 1.00
01:41:22.000 Unless you were A, really hungry, or B, it makes you drink hard as a fucking crowbar. 0.99
01:41:28.000 Can you imagine if we all fouled out? 0.99
01:41:31.000 There's like a type of food that just makes you rock hard.
01:41:34.000 And they're trying to give you pills where actually here's the answer.
01:41:38.000 You need to eat mountain lions.
01:41:39.000 You need to start eating mountain lions. 1.00
01:41:41.000 Crocodiles and shit. 0.99
01:41:44.000 I just think we're just so disconnected from these animals that we have some sort of a weird fairytale idea what these things are, just wandering around Disneyland. 1.00
01:41:54.000 They should have guys that they hire to go kill these fucking things. 1.00
01:41:57.000 Why are you letting these things live? 1.00
01:41:59.000 You guys are out of your mind.
01:42:01.000 There's too many of them.
01:42:02.000 They're going to keep breeding.
01:42:03.000 They eat everything.
01:42:04.000 They're going to eat dogs and cats and children. 1.00
01:42:06.000 Oh, the gators.
01:42:07.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:42:08.000 They're going to fucking keep eating things. 0.99
01:42:09.000 Like, you guys and this idea that all life is sacred. 1.00
01:42:12.000 Your life is fucking sacred, stupid. 1.00
01:42:15.000 They're going to eat you. 1.00
01:42:16.000 They're going to eat you.
01:42:17.000 Well, I want to eat them.
01:42:18.000 Well, they're going to eat you.
01:42:19.000 They're definitely going to eat you.
01:42:21.000 They're going to eat you, yeah.
01:42:21.000 And if you don't eat them, then there are going to be so many of them that they're definitely going to eat you.
01:42:25.000 Yeah.
01:42:26.000 What kind of simple wildlife biologist strategy do I have? 0.99
01:42:30.000 Is kill everything, man! 0.99
01:42:32.000 No, you don't understand. 0.99
01:42:33.000 They help the environment.
01:42:35.000 They do that.
01:42:36.000 That's one thing about coyotes.
01:42:37.000 Everybody hates the coyotes out here. 1.00
01:42:40.000 You know how many rats we would have if it wasn't for these fucking coyotes? 1.00
01:42:42.000 That's right. 1.00
01:42:43.000 What would you rather have?
01:42:44.000 Mm-hmm.
01:42:45.000 What would you rather have?
01:42:45.000 I think coyotes are cool.
01:42:47.000 Of course.
01:42:47.000 And I lost a chicken in one recently.
01:42:50.000 Did you really?
01:42:51.000 You got chickens?
01:42:51.000 How many chickens did you get?
01:42:52.000 I just got five new ones.
01:42:53.000 I've got 24 now for eggs.
01:42:56.000 They're like pets.
01:42:58.000 So do you let them walk around the field?
01:42:59.000 Do they eat fleas and ticks and all that? 0.82
01:43:02.000 They eat everything.
01:43:03.000 They eat all kinds of bugs.
01:43:04.000 They're little dinosaurs, man.
01:43:06.000 They're really cool.
01:43:07.000 But you can pick them up and...
01:43:10.000 But I got the new ones.
01:43:11.000 They're little chicks. 1.00
01:43:11.000 They've actually gotten pretty big really quickly. 1.00
01:43:13.000 It's crazy how quick they turn from a chicken to a little chicken.
01:43:18.000 What happens if you start...
01:43:19.000 What do you do with the other chicks? 1.00
01:43:21.000 Just reintroduce them.
01:43:22.000 There's my chicks. 1.00
01:43:23.000 These are the new ones.
01:43:26.000 Do you have a little farm?
01:43:27.000 I have a large hen house.
01:43:30.000 It's really big.
01:43:31.000 So they can wander around in there and they're all protected from the coyotes.
01:43:35.000 It's an enormous thing.
01:43:37.000 But then I also let them out in the yard.
01:43:39.000 But I've got to keep them away from my dog. 1.00
01:43:40.000 He's decided that he can kill them. 0.99
01:43:42.000 Because the coyote honeydicked him. 0.99
01:43:47.000 Yeah, the coyote became friends with him and then talked him into going and breaking into one of the side coops and killing one of the chickens.
01:43:53.000 Seriously?
01:43:54.000 Yeah.
01:43:55.000 You have to take chickens. 0.98
01:43:56.000 They brood sometimes, which is they get this thought. 0.99
01:43:58.000 There's no rooster if they're not getting fucked all the time. 0.97
01:44:01.000 They're laying these eggs for no reason because there's no chickens ever going to come out of those eggs because they're not fertilized. 0.98
01:44:06.000 So these eggs are just, it's just free food.
01:44:08.000 It's basically the product of you giving them food.
01:44:11.000 They lay an egg and you eat that egg.
01:44:13.000 It's really interesting, right?
01:44:15.000 But the hens sometimes they get crazy because these eggs never become chicks. 0.85
01:44:19.000 So they think they're supposed to like sit on the egg.
01:44:22.000 And it becomes a chick.
01:44:23.000 And so they start pulling their feathers off and they do what's called brooding.
01:44:26.000 And it'll take a long cycle.
01:44:27.000 It takes like 28 days for them to get over it.
01:44:29.000 Unless you catch them early in the brood and you separate them from the rest of the chickens and you put them in a stand, like where they, you put them in a smaller cage where they have to stand on a bar.
01:44:40.000 And once they do that, because they're not in a nest, they're not sitting in a nesting box, it goes through the cycle in their brain.
01:44:46.000 They're little simple, little reptile brains.
01:44:48.000 And then you bring them back into the chicken coop and they act like a regular chicken.
01:44:51.000 But otherwise, it's like a health problem.
01:44:54.000 They don't eat.
01:44:54.000 They start pulling their feathers off of their body.
01:44:58.000 It gets really weird.
01:44:59.000 So I had them separated.
01:45:01.000 And the dog, I have a huge dog, the coyote talked the dog into knocking over the chicken coop to get at the chicken.
01:45:10.000 Like, the coyote probably wouldn't have been able to do it on its own, because it's not big enough.
01:45:13.000 But my dog is a mastiff. 1.00
01:45:14.000 And so the coyote honey-dicked my fucking dumbass dog. 1.00
01:45:21.000 That's like... 1.00
01:45:22.000 So he came out and he's like, listen, man.
01:45:24.000 We're buddies.
01:45:24.000 You're a coyote, technically.
01:45:27.000 No, I'm just a house pet. 1.00
01:45:29.000 Well, they can fuck, too. 1.00
01:45:30.000 They can fuck. 1.00
01:45:31.000 Dogs and coyotes fuck all the time. 1.00
01:45:33.000 Wow, he duked them. 1.00
01:45:34.000 Yeah.
01:45:35.000 They make babies, man.
01:45:36.000 We ran into...
01:45:37.000 When I was filming Fear Factor once, we were filming on this real rural area, and these people had a bunch of puppies that were half coyote and half Labrador.
01:45:47.000 Huh.
01:45:48.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:45:48.000 Coyote came over and fucked their dog, man. 1.00
01:45:51.000 That was out here. 1.00
01:45:52.000 Yeah, like a dirty criminal. 1.00
01:45:54.000 Sneaking into your yard, fucking your daughter. 1.00
01:45:56.000 Like, oh my goodness. 1.00
01:45:57.000 A little scape convict.
01:46:01.000 I don't want you hanging out with them coyotes.
01:46:03.000 It was cold out, too, and these puppies were all huddled up together, and we're like, whoa, now what happens?
01:46:07.000 What happens now?
01:46:08.000 What are you guys going to do? 0.99
01:46:09.000 They're trying to give them away, and everybody's like, I don't want a half a fucking coyote. 0.99
01:46:13.000 Exactly. 0.99
01:46:13.000 What the hell's that kind of thing? 0.99
01:46:14.000 Eat my newborn? 0.98
01:46:15.000 Well, it's a weird thing, because they really are all wolves.
01:46:19.000 Everything's a wolf.
01:46:20.000 That's why they can all breed with each other.
01:46:21.000 It's so strange. 1.00
01:46:23.000 A hippo can't breed with an elephant, but a wolf can fuck a chihuahua. 1.00
01:46:30.000 And make it pregnant. 1.00
01:46:31.000 Cuz they're all dogs.
01:46:33.000 Yeah.
01:46:34.000 Or all dogs come from wolves.
01:46:37.000 That's so strange. 0.99
01:46:38.000 Like, if a wolf can figure out how to fit his dick in a chihuahua, and shoot a load in that chihuahua, that chihuahua can conceivably have wolf-chihuahua puppies. 1.00
01:46:49.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:46:50.000 Fuck. 1.00
01:46:50.000 And what would it look like? 1.00
01:46:52.000 Like an alien.
01:46:54.000 Like an alien.
01:46:55.000 Like a crazy- Yeah, it looked like Bigfoot.
01:46:57.000 Dude.
01:46:59.000 You ever seen those werewolf cats?
01:47:01.000 Yeah, they scare me.
01:47:02.000 And there's also some weird...
01:47:03.000 Is that a conspiracy?
01:47:04.000 You ever see the weird blue dog thing?
01:47:06.000 Whoa, what is that, Jamie?
01:47:08.000 Typed in Chihuahua wolf breed.
01:47:10.000 It's called a wolf sable.
01:47:11.000 What?
01:47:12.000 Yeah.
01:47:13.000 Is that a hybrid?
01:47:14.000 It's an AKC registered breed.
01:47:16.000 Oh, whoa.
01:47:17.000 A little tiny wolf chihuahua.
01:47:20.000 I'm sorry, would you ask, Jim?
01:47:21.000 I don't even remember.
01:47:22.000 LAUGHTER You asked if I had seen something.
01:47:26.000 It was some weird blue-eyed dog-looking thing.
01:47:32.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?
01:47:34.000 No.
01:47:34.000 Has an attack there which just looks weird and creepy, and they got a video of it running along a fence or something.
01:47:40.000 Oh, chupacabra?
01:47:41.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:47:42.000 You know what they think that is?
01:47:43.000 What is that?
01:47:43.000 They think it's a coyote with mange.
01:47:45.000 They think that when coyotes get mange, and it's real common with animals, they get its mites, and the mites, they develop this horrible skin disease, and they lose all their hair, and their skin becomes black and fucked up. 0.89
01:47:59.000 And it gets burnt by the sun. 0.93
01:48:01.000 It looks awful.
01:48:01.000 It just looks awful.
01:48:03.000 And yeah, they look like that.
01:48:05.000 So that's a chupacabra.
01:48:06.000 What it is, it's a coyote that just doesn't have any hair.
01:48:10.000 Yeah.
01:48:12.000 And I think there's quite a few animals, like if you go down that photo right there, look at that thing.
01:48:18.000 Yeah, I mean, it's probably in constant pain, you know? 0.98
01:48:22.000 I mean, its skin is just all fucked up. 1.00
01:48:25.000 A lot of times there's like open sores all over their body. 0.98
01:48:29.000 There's a dog, or a wolf, a bear rather, that has mange too.
01:48:34.000 Chimps get it sometimes too.
01:48:35.000 Right.
01:48:35.000 Have you ever seen those hairless chimps?
01:48:37.000 Yeah.
01:48:38.000 A lot of times that's what's going on with them too, they got mange.
01:48:41.000 I had a dog that had mange, man.
01:48:43.000 Sad.
01:48:43.000 I rescued her.
01:48:44.000 She had mange.
01:48:45.000 And they gave me this ointment to give.
01:48:48.000 But once I started feeding her good food, her hair all came back real quick. 0.95
01:48:52.000 I just washed her with some certain type of shampoo. 0.73
01:48:54.000 And then within a couple months, all the mange was gone.
01:48:57.000 Her hair was all big and fluffy and healthy.
01:49:00.000 Yeah, mange is a...
01:49:01.000 But that's what the chupacabra is.
01:49:03.000 Just a coyote with mange.
01:49:05.000 It looks real, though.
01:49:05.000 I saw it like a year ago.
01:49:07.000 I didn't know what it was going on.
01:49:08.000 If you saw that, man.
01:49:09.000 If you saw something like that outside.
01:49:10.000 No, I didn't see it in person.
01:49:10.000 But if I saw something like that, I'd freak out.
01:49:12.000 Yeah, you'd think it is a monster.
01:49:13.000 I'm convinced there's aliens.
01:49:15.000 Yeah.
01:49:15.000 That's why the Mexicans believe in the chupacabra.
01:49:18.000 That's what it is.
01:49:18.000 That's their, but they can see that where the Bigfoot, though.
01:49:22.000 It's not a Bigfoot. 1.00
01:49:23.000 Because coyotes will fucking kill your chickens and shit, you know? 1.00
01:49:26.000 And that's probably... 1.00
01:49:27.000 Don't you think coyote kill a kid?
01:49:28.000 Oh, yeah.
01:49:28.000 Absolutely, right?
01:49:29.000 Definitely.
01:49:30.000 They killed this girl in Toronto a few years back.
01:49:33.000 It was a 19-year-old singer.
01:49:36.000 She's a country music singer. 0.88
01:49:37.000 It was a really promising young artist in Toronto.
01:49:41.000 And she's going for a walk, and they kill her in the forest.
01:49:45.000 During the day?
01:49:46.000 Mm-hmm.
01:49:47.000 That's a bad way to die, too, man. 1.00
01:49:49.000 Because they eat you asshole first. 1.00
01:49:51.000 That's right. 1.00
01:49:52.000 That's what they do.
01:49:52.000 They tear you apart.
01:49:53.000 They tear you apart. 1.00
01:49:55.000 And for some reason, coyotes, when they kill a deer, and I'm assuming they do the same thing when they kill a human being, they start with your asshole. 1.00
01:50:03.000 And I'm sure they try to suffocate you, too. 1.00
01:50:06.000 I don't know, man. 1.00
01:50:07.000 I don't know what the fuck they do. 0.99
01:50:08.000 You think they just start tearing into it? 1.00
01:50:09.000 They might just start ripping you apart.
01:50:11.000 Especially if they felt like they could hold you down.
01:50:13.000 Because wolves do that to animals all the time.
01:50:15.000 They just chew at their legs, bring them down, and then just start pulling them apart while they're still alive.
01:50:20.000 Yeah.
01:50:21.000 Yeah, my buddy found a moose that was getting attacked by wolves, and they found it, and it looked like it had been getting chewed on for over a day, and it was still alive.
01:50:32.000 This moose was all fucked up, and half of its hindquarters were chewed off, and these wolves were just pulling it apart slowly, and they had been eating it for a day. 0.77
01:50:41.000 Oh! 0.98
01:50:41.000 Yeah, still alive. 0.98
01:50:44.000 Brutal.
01:50:44.000 Yeah.
01:50:44.000 That's just being, again, like a settler, just going around.
01:50:48.000 It goes to your brother.
01:50:49.000 Your brother just got to you.
01:50:51.000 Why does your brother just get torn up?
01:50:53.000 Yeah, and they're reintroducing those.
01:50:54.000 That's just even more interesting.
01:50:55.000 They're bringing them back to all these different parts of the West. 0.95
01:50:58.000 And if you can get to those people that poisoned them back in the 1800s, if you can get them and bring them to the future, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you brought them here? 0.99
01:51:05.000 You know we used to kill these fucking things? 0.98
01:51:07.000 You guys brought them here? 1.00
01:51:09.000 This way they have to stay in the areas outside of all their pleasures.
01:51:14.000 They can't go hiking, sir.
01:51:16.000 Do you understand?
01:51:17.000 There's nowhere to escape if they go swimming.
01:51:20.000 We have the crocodiles for this mile there.
01:51:23.000 That's genius.
01:51:24.000 The best way.
01:51:25.000 So now, they must find other means of entertainment.
01:51:27.000 That's where we come in, sir.
01:51:30.000 Ah, television.
01:51:31.000 I think he's buying a square.
01:51:33.000 I don't want this deal.
01:51:34.000 Hiking is too dangerous, sir.
01:51:36.000 It's very dangerous.
01:51:37.000 You've got bears. 0.97
01:51:38.000 Black bears now, which we used to trust them.
01:51:41.000 They're just like deer, just bigger, but now they eat people, sir.
01:51:45.000 Yeah, nature's the great educator.
01:51:47.000 You go out there and nature balances you out, puts things back into perspective, and we simply can't have that. 0.99
01:51:54.000 We need them stupid and electronically connected. 0.99
01:51:57.000 And we need to grab all these dummies that are doing this and start new societies with them. 1.00
01:52:03.000 Why won't they learn the damn Bible? 0.99
01:52:05.000 And why won't they sit down and listen when I talk about Ponce de Leon? 0.99
01:52:10.000 It anchors me!
01:52:25.000 You know what always kills me?
01:52:27.000 Like straight edge guys. 0.92
01:52:28.000 Like guys who don't smoke, they don't drink, but they're into like super hardcore music where they all like strut around and they throw their arms up in the air like they're fucking Wreck-It Ralph.
01:52:40.000 You know?
01:52:41.000 They do the Wreck-It Ralph dance.
01:52:42.000 I just went to a show and it was in Jersey and I I'm fascinated how...
01:52:51.000 I'm not really fascinated.
01:52:52.000 It's just tribal. 0.59
01:52:55.000 Watching grown men still go around, slam as hard as they can into each other, just vent shirts coming off when they shouldn't come off.
01:53:04.000 Some of those guys are in their 40s.
01:53:06.000 They don't care. 0.99
01:53:07.000 Fat.
01:53:07.000 This is the first time they drank in three months.
01:53:10.000 And they're just smashing into each other.
01:53:13.000 Oh, yeah.
01:53:14.000 Hurting each other.
01:53:15.000 That's nuts.
01:53:16.000 Yeah.
01:53:16.000 Colliding.
01:53:18.000 Yeah.
01:53:19.000 Old Indians used to do that. 1.00
01:53:21.000 Did they?
01:53:21.000 I think so.
01:53:22.000 At least that's the show in the movies.
01:53:24.000 I wonder how much that stuff's real.
01:53:26.000 How much is that?
01:53:27.000 We don't know what they really did.
01:53:29.000 I don't know.
01:53:30.000 If they ran around.
01:53:31.000 I don't know.
01:53:31.000 We weren't there.
01:53:32.000 That's a good question.
01:53:32.000 I was not there.
01:53:34.000 And who was really there?
01:53:36.000 If you had the opportunity to go and view any culture from the past, like if you could be completely invisible and walk around amongst the Romans or cave people or Native Americans before the Europeans came, what would you choose?
01:53:50.000 Wow, that's a really hard question.
01:53:51.000 Yeah.
01:53:55.000 Um, I think...
01:53:58.000 I don't know when the time would be, but the first time...
01:54:04.000 Where anything was trying to be colonized.
01:54:06.000 Like changed.
01:54:08.000 From being what your regular...
01:54:09.000 Like the first time a boat showed up in Polynesia or something like that and some white people got out.
01:54:14.000 Right.
01:54:14.000 We're used to being in the fields every day and, you know, this guy hunts and this guy watches after the boys and teaches them and this one's over and we're all, you know...
01:54:27.000 And then all of a sudden they come out and they're building like, you guys need to...
01:54:30.000 This is how you live. 0.96
01:54:32.000 You need clothes because their cocks are hanging out. 1.00
01:54:36.000 The women are staring at their fucking balls two feet from the ground. 1.00
01:54:39.000 What are these things? 1.00
01:54:40.000 What the fuck is going on here? 1.00
01:54:42.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00
01:54:44.000 This guy's got a fucking... 1.00
01:54:46.000 Look at his ear. 1.00
01:54:47.000 It's chopped off. 1.00
01:54:48.000 His fucking teeth... 1.00
01:54:49.000 He's got bones in his fucking ear. 1.00
01:54:51.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00
01:54:53.000 Can I get a Bible?
01:54:56.000 Listen.
01:54:59.000 There's this thing called Noah's Ark.
01:55:00.000 Sit down! 1.00
01:55:01.000 These fuckers don't pay attention. 1.00
01:55:03.000 Can you fucking round them up? 1.00
01:55:04.000 Call Tommy and the boys. 0.99
01:55:06.000 We're gonna need about 40. These fucking things climb trees. 1.00
01:55:08.000 What is your character's name? 1.00
01:55:09.000 I love this guy.
01:55:10.000 He needs to come back more often.
01:55:12.000 This is the colonization guy.
01:55:14.000 They climb trees, Joe!
01:55:15.000 They climb trees!
01:55:17.000 What do you mean? 1.00
01:55:18.000 They fucking, they don't even, they don't even, with their hands, they just fucking climb! 1.00
01:55:23.000 He's up there for 20 minutes eating a goddamn leaf. 1.00
01:55:26.000 I don't know what the fuck is going on. 1.00
01:55:28.000 I'm getting eaten by ants. 1.00
01:55:29.000 He's laughing.
01:55:31.000 Yeah.
01:55:32.000 Yeah.
01:55:33.000 Sorry.
01:55:33.000 No, that's a good thought.
01:55:36.000 That might be one of the most important times ever, right?
01:55:39.000 When the people came from Spain and landed in the West Indies.
01:55:43.000 When Columbus and the Pinta...
01:55:46.000 That's where they landed, right?
01:55:46.000 The West Indies?
01:55:48.000 And they encountered the people that were living there, the native people.
01:55:51.000 I think I would choose that.
01:55:54.000 I would choose that.
01:55:55.000 It's like the thing that you could see. 0.90
01:55:58.000 To know that this experience right now is going to fucking change the future of the world. 0.52
01:56:03.000 And I want to know the why. 0.90
01:56:05.000 Why? 0.99
01:56:06.000 They wanted spices and shit. 1.00
01:56:07.000 That's what they wanted. 1.00
01:56:08.000 They wanted gold and salt.
01:56:11.000 So again, why?
01:56:12.000 So why are you like, alright, listen, we need to train them to be like us?
01:56:17.000 That's the part I go, how do we get from...
01:56:20.000 It doesn't happen overnight where you're running after something with a stick or you're just farming them all somewhere in a classroom.
01:56:28.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:56:29.000 We have to work to make money to give this guy fucking something. 0.99
01:56:32.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:56:33.000 Is it, again, like the fittest?
01:56:37.000 One tribe is now starving and now, I don't know.
01:56:40.000 Well, they wanted to expand their territories. 0.99
01:56:43.000 I mean, it's like Game of Thrones type shit. 0.97
01:56:45.000 The king wants to bring back more gold, and so he commissions a fleet, and he hires a captain, and he promises the captain riches beyond his wildest imagination if you go to these foreign lands and bring back salt. 0.99
01:56:57.000 And so these fucking people would get in these wooden crafts that barely had enough food for them to survive and make it across that goofy-ass ocean. 0.98
01:57:07.000 Who knows? 0.99
01:57:07.000 There was no weather report. 0.99
01:57:09.000 There was no iPhone app. 0.99
01:57:11.000 They had no idea what the fuck was coming. 0.95
01:57:13.000 And they were in a boat in the ocean and a lot of them didn't make it. 0.99
01:57:16.000 Like probably like a good percentage. 0.97
01:57:18.000 Like a healthy 10 to 15 percent never fucking made it. 0.95
01:57:21.000 I bet you more. 0.98
01:57:22.000 I wonder.
01:57:24.000 There's a lot of shipwrecks, though.
01:57:26.000 People find them all the time.
01:57:27.000 And they find them filled with gold.
01:57:29.000 That's what's crazy, man. 0.95
01:57:30.000 They found a ton of them where people have gotten super fucking rich. 0.83
01:57:33.000 Where they found, like, Roman coins that are made out of gold worth a billion dollars or something like that off the coast of this place or that place. 0.92
01:57:41.000 The power of greed. 0.99
01:57:44.000 Yeah, they brought back too much gold and their fucking wrath sank. 1.00
01:57:47.000 Well, think of that. 0.99
01:57:47.000 How desperate are you? 0.99
01:57:50.000 To go, okay, we're running out of places to find gold. 0.99
01:57:54.000 Let's just, let's just fucking, but I've heard people have died. 1.00
01:57:57.000 Who gives a fuck? 1.00
01:57:58.000 What are we gonna do? 1.00
01:57:58.000 He's beheaded fucking people. 1.00
01:58:00.000 We gotta get him gold. 1.00
01:58:02.000 Like how desperate, like when, how desperate you gotta be to go, we're gonna go, we're gonna start hitting other countries and fucking fighting India, whatever we gotta do. 0.99
01:58:11.000 Think about how terrifying it must be to have a boat filled with gold and you're trying to bring it back to Spain and you realize you brought too much gold and the boat starts going under and you're in the middle of the ocean, but you can't throw the gold overboard. 0.70
01:58:24.000 There's discussions.
01:58:25.000 Sir, we've got to get rid of some of this gold!
01:58:29.000 And you're looking out and it's dark out, right? 0.92
01:58:31.000 It's just the blackness of sea and the water is slowly leaking in through the panels in the fucking, in the galley at the bottom of the boat. 0.96
01:58:38.000 We can't keep taking this water on! 0.99
01:58:41.000 We've got to get rid of this fucking gold! 1.00
01:58:43.000 And they have a sword fight in there and they duke it out and they all wind up dead. 1.00
01:58:47.000 All chopped up and bleeding and the fucking boat just sinks to the bottom because they had, they couldn't make a decision whether or not they should throw the gold overboard. 0.97
01:58:55.000 I'm not wearing this coat overboard, it's my life. 0.98
01:58:59.000 Even today, you could drop a GPS pin, but what are the guarantees you could go back to that location and retrieve it?
01:59:06.000 What if you dropped it at the bottom of the Marianas Trench, and it's a mile and a half down.
01:59:12.000 It's just gone.
01:59:13.000 Good luck.
01:59:14.000 Good luck fishing it out.
01:59:15.000 You gotta, oh, it's cool, dude.
01:59:16.000 We got a treble hook.
01:59:17.000 My dad's got like a deep sea saltwater set up.
01:59:21.000 I could fix it.
01:59:23.000 My dad's got the ultimate set of tools.
01:59:26.000 The ultimate fishing pole, man.
01:59:29.000 We're gonna dive.
01:59:30.000 Dude, I hold my breath like a champ.
01:59:32.000 I'm just gonna get under that water and bring up one coin at a time.
01:59:36.000 Oh my god.
01:59:37.000 They died because they were greedy.
01:59:39.000 They died because their boat sank with too much gold. 1.00
01:59:42.000 Fuck, man. 1.00
01:59:43.000 That's crazy. 1.00
01:59:44.000 Or maybe the boat just sank and it just so happens they had a lot of gold on board and a lot of times they made it with that much gold on board.
01:59:50.000 Right. 0.89
01:59:51.000 Yeah, but there weren't any fucking engineers that had done stress tests on the wood and knew exactly how much water could take. 0.98
01:59:59.000 How to negotiate. 0.99
02:00:00.000 Under pressure.
02:00:01.000 We live in such easy times.
02:00:03.000 Just carry a credit card.
02:00:05.000 That's right.
02:00:07.000 But I like that whole concept that the animals are coming back.
02:00:10.000 They're coming back, dude.
02:00:11.000 I mean, it is what it is.
02:00:13.000 If you look at Florida, like again, I was talking about living there in 1977. We're talking about a very short period of time between now and then.
02:00:21.000 It's not that long.
02:00:23.000 It's just not.
02:00:25.000 40 years is not long at all when you're talking about biology.
02:00:28.000 It's a short amount of time for a radical change like that.
02:00:32.000 For an animal to go from endangered to ultra-prevalent in eating people on a regular basis.
02:00:38.000 Think of even this.
02:00:40.000 The girl that was...
02:00:42.000 Yes, she's in Africa and all that. 0.99
02:00:45.000 But I don't know if they just kept it quiet or secret or whatever.
02:00:48.000 Maybe it's happened many times in the past, but this one particular time, the chick is in the front seat, and she's taking pictures, and her window's down. 0.94
02:00:56.000 Oh, yeah.
02:00:57.000 And the lion just literally would have grabbed her and pulled her out.
02:01:02.000 Killed her in front of everybody.
02:01:04.000 That was the Game of Thrones editor. 0.96
02:01:06.000 For real.
02:01:07.000 Oh, really?
02:01:08.000 Yeah, she was an editor.
02:01:09.000 Oh, my God.
02:01:10.000 In the Game of Thrones.
02:01:11.000 Yeah.
02:01:13.000 Apparently they told her not to roll the window down, too.
02:01:16.000 You know, I guess it's just so tempting.
02:01:17.000 You feel safe.
02:01:18.000 You're in that car.
02:01:19.000 But the lion saw that opening, and there's a female lion, too.
02:01:23.000 But think about that.
02:01:24.000 Those lions, they tell you when you go over there.
02:01:27.000 Oh, yeah.
02:01:28.000 They tell you, listen, they think it's just a big animal, so they're not really going to...
02:01:33.000 You've just got to stay still.
02:01:35.000 And don't move.
02:01:37.000 Don't make any jerky noise.
02:01:39.000 And he'll think that it's a big animal.
02:01:43.000 And so that's your sales pitch.
02:01:44.000 You're sitting there in the open and the lion's looking at you going, he just thinks he's not going to jump.
02:01:52.000 They told me.
02:01:53.000 They would have told me if people had been eating before, right?
02:01:56.000 I would want to be in the back of that helicopter. 1.00
02:01:59.000 Like that scene in Predator where Jesse Ventura's got the gun loaded and he's calling everybody a bunch of slack-jawed faggots. 1.00
02:02:06.000 That's the only way I would want to go. 1.00
02:02:08.000 I'd want to go with a bunch of dudes with fucking bandoliers filled with bullets and locked and loaded with giant steroid-filled muscles just ready to... 0.99
02:02:20.000 It never runs out of ammunition either. 0.99
02:02:22.000 Yeah, I don't need a camera.
02:02:23.000 I'll put a GoPro on my head.
02:02:24.000 We'll capture the whole thing and sort out the pictures later.
02:02:27.000 Let's just get through this.
02:02:29.000 Let's just get through this. 0.99
02:02:31.000 I'm not opening up the fucking window. 0.99
02:02:32.000 No, I'm not opening up the fucking window to take a picture of a giant cat. 1.00
02:02:36.000 It kills things every day with its face. 1.00
02:02:38.000 No, keep the fucking- Dolores! 1.00
02:02:40.000 Keep the window rolled up! 1.00
02:02:42.000 You crazy bitch! 1.00
02:02:45.000 And you see that paw that looks like a catcher's mitt. 1.00
02:02:49.000 With fangs.
02:02:51.000 Clamp! 1.00
02:02:52.000 Gets ahold of your tit and just yanks you out of the car. 1.00
02:02:55.000 Digs into your rib cage. 0.97
02:02:57.000 Oh my god, I don't even mean to laugh. 0.80
02:02:58.000 It's horrifying. 0.99
02:02:59.000 You're sitting there with your fucking Mets shirt on, listening to some good music on your iPod, and it just paws through that window and digs those claws deep into the fucking bones in your ribs and carries you off like when you pick up a little piece of sashimi with a chopstick. 1.00
02:03:15.000 Right. 1.00
02:03:16.000 It's that simple.
02:03:17.000 Yeah.
02:03:20.000 You come right out of that window in a second.
02:03:22.000 It would take you 10 minutes to climb out of it.
02:03:25.000 That's why we all need guns.
02:03:28.000 The lions are coming!
02:03:30.000 The lions!
02:03:32.000 Do you think that after shootings happen, the sales in guns go up?
02:03:39.000 Oh yeah, for sure.
02:03:40.000 100%.
02:03:41.000 Skyrocket.
02:03:41.000 People get scared, too, when all the rhetoric starts getting around about ending the Second Amendment, taking away people's rights to guns.
02:03:47.000 It's the best thing in the world for ammunition companies and rifle companies.
02:03:50.000 Jamie, there's a video that people are throwing around on Instagram.
02:03:54.000 I don't know.
02:03:54.000 I wanted to ask if this is true.
02:03:56.000 There's a...
02:03:57.000 Some people from another country, they're speaking a foreign language.
02:04:00.000 They're talking in front of a lion carcass.
02:04:02.000 They're taking a photo, and then another lion comes and jacks him off camera.
02:04:06.000 Oh, wow!
02:04:07.000 But it looks so fake.
02:04:09.000 Oh, it does?
02:04:09.000 Yeah, it looks so convenient.
02:04:11.000 The framing of it, where the lion gets into frame and then jumps over the camera to get the person as they scream, and you hear the noises in the background.
02:04:20.000 I watched it, I was like, man, this is way too theatrical.
02:04:23.000 It's way too well-framed. 1.00
02:04:25.000 This has got to be bullshit. 1.00
02:04:27.000 That was my initial instinct. 0.99
02:04:29.000 But what's interesting...
02:04:30.000 Oh, Kings MMA put it on their Instagram page.
02:04:33.000 My friend Rafael Cordero, who's one of the best Muay Thai instructors in the world, trains a bunch of world champions, Fabricio Verdum, Rafael Dos Anjos, a lot of people.
02:04:44.000 He's a great guy, too.
02:04:45.000 He put it on his page, and he was... 0.99
02:04:47.000 It's funny because he put a caption in, you know, the Brazilian version of English, you know, you are in his house now, like that kind of shit. 0.98
02:04:55.000 Like, here it is. 0.99
02:04:56.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:04:57.000 Look at this.
02:04:57.000 It's a big line.
02:04:58.000 Whoops.
02:04:59.000 Go back.
02:05:00.000 Here it is.
02:05:01.000 Look at the, um, his words are interesting.
02:05:07.000 Humans' mentality.
02:05:08.000 They think it's a sport to kill lions. 0.90
02:05:11.000 Well, I guess the lion's brother wasn't going for that.
02:05:15.000 Bon appetit, Mr. Lion.
02:05:17.000 We feel your pain, see? 1.00
02:05:20.000 Looks fake as fuck, right? 0.99
02:05:23.000 Yeah, let me see her again. 0.99
02:05:26.000 It'll replay itself.
02:05:28.000 He ran straight to the person who had the gun.
02:05:30.000 This is their house and nobody can cross that line.
02:05:32.000 That's so hilarious.
02:05:35.000 See, the line comes back into focus.
02:05:37.000 I don't buy that at all.
02:05:39.000 I just think that's fake.
02:05:40.000 Can I see it again?
02:05:41.000 I think I'm going to agree with you.
02:05:44.000 I want to see her.
02:05:45.000 I got to watch her reaction.
02:05:51.000 Okay.
02:05:53.000 That's right.
02:05:55.000 Okay, good stuff. 1.00
02:05:57.000 Fuck! 1.00
02:05:58.000 No, the... 1.00
02:05:59.000 She would've never... 0.67
02:06:14.000 And then the lion comes back.
02:06:16.000 See, all those things, there's so much off there.
02:06:19.000 First of all, why did the lion just abandon these people that are shooting it?
02:06:22.000 Did it kill them and walk off real quick?
02:06:24.000 That doesn't make sense.
02:06:25.000 Because there's two of them.
02:06:26.000 If it killed two of them, I think it would have killed one and ragdolled it around a little bit and then gone to the second one.
02:06:32.000 It would have taken longer than 10 or 15 seconds. 0.88
02:06:35.000 You can add that side effect.
02:06:36.000 Yeah.
02:06:38.000 And then the rifle went off and nothing happened.
02:06:41.000 They missed totally.
02:06:42.000 They missed twice.
02:06:43.000 All that stuff seems fake.
02:06:46.000 The framing is the big one. 1.00
02:06:48.000 And then their acting seems like shit, too. 1.00
02:06:50.000 I thought they were speaking another language. 1.00
02:06:51.000 Apparently...
02:06:53.000 Speaking English.
02:06:54.000 But, that goes back to...
02:06:56.000 You know when I think about things like that, Joe?
02:06:58.000 I literally sit there and go, humans will believe anything without even a thought process.
02:07:04.000 We'll just believe it.
02:07:05.000 Yeah, no, it's the video.
02:07:07.000 I saw it.
02:07:08.000 But don't you think that's...
02:07:09.000 I completely saw it.
02:07:10.000 That's also a smart video to make because that's what people want to see.
02:07:13.000 People hate trophy hunting.
02:07:14.000 They hate this idea that people go over there and shoot these lions and then prop them up and look with a big smile on their face next to some weird animal that they just shot, some majestic beast.
02:07:24.000 Right.
02:07:25.000 It's weird, man.
02:07:26.000 It's all weird. 0.99
02:07:27.000 What's weird, too, that people are celebrating that this fucking lion came by and jacked him. 0.99
02:07:33.000 Went after the lady with the gun. 0.99
02:07:35.000 You know, like, everybody's, like, all happy.
02:07:37.000 The comments are all happy.
02:07:40.000 Like, I'm not into killing lions, but I'm definitely not into lions killing people.
02:07:45.000 And I don't think that it's, like, a revenge thing.
02:07:49.000 Like, that lion would have killed them no matter what.
02:07:51.000 They killed. 0.72
02:07:52.000 They're lions.
02:07:53.000 That's what they do.
02:07:54.000 Yeah, I get it.
02:07:58.000 I'll sit there and I'll go, like hunting?
02:08:01.000 To me, like hunting?
02:08:06.000 He's on a reserve.
02:08:08.000 If you are going lion hunting or whatever, if someone owns the land...
02:08:11.000 Not only that, most of these things are high fence operations where these lions are fenced in.
02:08:17.000 Right.
02:08:18.000 It's like a cheap shot to me.
02:08:20.000 It's more than that.
02:08:21.000 I mean, it's kind of like shooting a dangerous pet that someone has.
02:08:27.000 Right.
02:08:28.000 But technically they're free, but...
02:08:30.000 Are they?
02:08:31.000 A lot of them are not free.
02:08:33.000 No, that's what I'm saying.
02:08:33.000 They're not free.
02:08:34.000 They've been caught, and they tell you...
02:08:35.000 They breed them in the wild.
02:08:38.000 In these enclosures.
02:08:40.000 I mean, not in the wild.
02:08:41.000 In captivity.
02:08:42.000 They breed them, and then they release...
02:08:44.000 Sometimes they release them...
02:08:46.000 And these lions have a very specific area that they travel in, and then they release them, and the lions don't know where to go, so they just hang out and wait.
02:08:53.000 So when they release them, then in the morning, the hunter, in quotes, comes out and sees this lion just hanging out, because the lion doesn't have anywhere to go, doesn't belong there, it's not his territory, doesn't exactly know what to do, so he just finds a place to lie down.
02:09:06.000 So he'll go under a tree and just lay there, and they'll walk over and shoot these lions. 0.99
02:09:10.000 It's fucking weird, man. 0.99
02:09:12.000 It's like, what is that? 0.99
02:09:13.000 Like, that is barely hunting under the loosest possible definition of the term.
02:09:20.000 It's barely hunting.
02:09:23.000 You know?
02:09:24.000 Lion, lion's video's fake.
02:09:26.000 Yeah.
02:09:27.000 I knew it. 1.00
02:09:28.000 See, you can't get me, bitch. 1.00
02:09:32.000 That's a real person with a real lion. 0.99
02:09:35.000 Oh, that's why it looked odd.
02:09:37.000 See, I thought it was almost like a fake lion.
02:09:39.000 The dead lion might be in the fake part and they might have actually...
02:09:42.000 The moving lion might have been real.
02:09:44.000 I'll read more on that.
02:09:46.000 It's so weird.
02:09:47.000 But you know what's weird about this whole thing?
02:09:48.000 You know, after Cecil the Lion got killed in Zimbabwe?
02:09:51.000 Now they have to kill 200 lions because they have an excess of lions.
02:09:56.000 Because nobody wants to go there and nobody wants to hunt lions anymore because of the blowback.
02:10:01.000 That they experienced from the Cecil thing.
02:10:04.000 So now they're assassinating him.
02:10:06.000 What's the Cecil thing?
02:10:06.000 You know that guy, that dentist that killed that famous lion?
02:10:09.000 Yes, yes, yes.
02:10:10.000 Remember that?
02:10:10.000 That's Cecil the lion.
02:10:12.000 Okay.
02:10:12.000 Remember that whole outrage was really crazy.
02:10:14.000 Everybody got nuts about that.
02:10:16.000 And because of that, nobody wanted to go there to hunt.
02:10:19.000 So now they have the lions that are decimating the undulate population.
02:10:22.000 So they had to kill 200 lions.
02:10:26.000 200 lions that would have brought them, you know, I think they'd get $50,000 a lion.
02:10:31.000 When hunter comes and pays to hunt the lion? 1.00
02:10:35.000 So think about that shit. 1.00
02:10:36.000 They're like losing money. 1.00
02:10:37.000 It's a fucked up place, man. 1.00
02:10:39.000 It is a crazy place. 1.00
02:10:40.000 Louis Theroux has a beautiful documentary, if you've never heard me yap about it before.
02:10:44.000 But it's a documentary about him.
02:10:46.000 It's on YouTube.
02:10:48.000 Him going on this African hunting expedition with all these Americans. 0.99
02:10:52.000 It's really strange.
02:10:53.000 Really strange.
02:10:54.000 Jungle Street Wars.
02:10:55.000 What's that?
02:10:57.000 No, that's what I'm saying.
02:10:57.000 That's what it sounds like.
02:10:58.000 Frickin' jungles, street wars with the animals.
02:11:00.000 But if you really think about it, you know, people get mad here because they don't live like that.
02:11:05.000 They haven't seen, well, until like Orlando, you haven't seen a wild animal snatch a family member, a friend, a child.
02:11:16.000 So they're accustomed to like...
02:11:18.000 Whatever.
02:11:19.000 That thing tears me to pieces.
02:11:21.000 I still...
02:11:22.000 I remember my mom getting eaten by that thing.
02:11:25.000 So yeah, no, I have no problem selling him off, taking that thing out.
02:11:28.000 Yeah, there was a recent...
02:11:30.000 There's this guy named Jim Shockey, and he's got this great show called Uncharted.
02:11:33.000 He's just sort of an adventurer.
02:11:35.000 He travels all over the world.
02:11:36.000 And they hired him to go to Mozambique.
02:11:39.000 Because all these people were getting killed by crocodiles.
02:11:41.000 So he goes to Mozambique to hunt crocodiles.
02:11:44.000 And while they were there, someone in the camp got killed and eaten by a crocodile.
02:11:47.000 Some woman was washing clothes and got dragged into the water. 1.00
02:11:51.000 You know, you talk to them and like those that those people don't they don't have any problem with someone coming over and shooting a crocodile No, because they said they see it.
02:12:01.000 Yeah, there'll be no protests, right?
02:12:03.000 We don't make movies about this There was an article in the New York Times after the Cecil thing by someone from Zimbabwe that said in Zimbabwe we do not cry for lions and Yeah.
02:12:35.000 You can't say anything until you live that way of life.
02:12:40.000 That drives me nuts.
02:12:42.000 People just, well, you know what's going on over there.
02:12:45.000 No, I really don't.
02:12:46.000 It's so far away and it's so different than anything we can ever even possibly imagine happening in North America.
02:12:53.000 Dude, I'm just worried about my teenagers getting pregnant and addicted.
02:12:58.000 My mom's gonna be 90 years old. 1.00
02:13:01.000 They're trying to kick her out of her assistant living because she's run out of money. 1.00
02:13:06.000 Oh, God.
02:13:07.000 And her Medicare kicked in and all of a sudden they're like, yeah, no, we're not taking Medicare, so you gotta find a place for her.
02:13:16.000 You know, she's been here all...
02:13:17.000 It's like, dude, that's why sometimes when I go in this direction...
02:13:22.000 I love going there, but at the end of the day, my stance is always, what am I... So now what?
02:13:29.000 So now what?
02:13:31.000 But I love the fascination of thinking of it all.
02:13:35.000 How crazy it all is.
02:13:36.000 But at the same time, I go, all right, I gotta take out the garbage now. 0.99
02:13:40.000 I gotta talk to this kid about fucking doing this and see if I can find some money for my mother. 0.99
02:13:45.000 Keep her alive for another month. 1.00
02:13:48.000 It's just shit like that, you know what I mean? 0.99
02:13:50.000 Yeah, you can't be worried about Cecil. 1.00
02:13:51.000 So I'm not worried about fucking Cecil. 0.99
02:13:53.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:13:54.000 I'm not worried about...
02:13:55.000 I feel horrible in bad events, but at the end of the day, I can't control unless it's right here.
02:14:01.000 Or maybe I can, and I don't know about it.
02:14:03.000 Yeah.
02:14:05.000 But I like thinking about all of it.
02:14:07.000 Well, the actual variables, when you stop and think about the future, they get real grim and weird.
02:14:13.000 They have to to get better, no?
02:14:15.000 Well, it's not even that.
02:14:16.000 Like, your body. 0.89
02:14:17.000 Like, as I'm getting older, one of the things that I'm realizing as I get up in the morning, especially if I work out hard, it's fucking harder and harder to do that.
02:14:25.000 Like, slowly but surely, my body's not going to be able to do all the stuff that I want it to do anymore.
02:14:30.000 It's just not going to work anymore.
02:14:31.000 It doesn't matter how much discipline I have, how well I eat...
02:14:35.000 There's going to come a point in time where things just don't work anymore.
02:14:39.000 It's just a fact.
02:14:40.000 That's the reality of life.
02:14:41.000 Yep.
02:14:42.000 You wake up stiff like...
02:14:43.000 And every day you're going to wake up a little more stiff.
02:14:46.000 A little more stiff.
02:14:47.000 A little more stiff.
02:14:48.000 A little more stiff.
02:14:50.000 A little more stiff.
02:14:51.000 And it doesn't go away in a day or how many times.
02:14:54.000 So the chiropractor, now I'm going to take Ning Chung Pao, the new thing to come out from 8 in the morning to 9.30.
02:15:01.000 That back fat area of me is going to hurt for 3, 4, 5 months, and I don't know why.
02:15:07.000 And I'll have 14 different people telling me different things.
02:15:10.000 Just take this pill.
02:15:13.000 It'll make you feel bad.
02:15:14.000 We have been alleviating suffering in Americans for more than 30 years now.
02:15:19.000 30 years?
02:15:20.000 Do you hear that count?
02:15:21.000 30 years.
02:15:21.000 Wow.
02:15:22.000 Look at my lab coat.
02:15:23.000 Do not trust me.
02:15:25.000 Oh, I trust you 100%.
02:15:26.000 I'm a pen protector.
02:15:27.000 Note my pen protector.
02:15:28.000 I'm a cautious person.
02:15:30.000 You must be really smart.
02:15:31.000 Oh, look, I have a clipboard.
02:15:33.000 Yes, you do.
02:15:34.000 I'm looking at the charts and the results.
02:15:36.000 And that handwriting is completely trustworthy.
02:15:39.000 You can't understand a word I wrote.
02:15:41.000 No, but I see a lot of X's and Y's in numbers.
02:15:43.000 Do you know how many people overdose and die because of poor handwriting?
02:15:49.000 Or they used to.
02:15:50.000 Now they do everything electronically.
02:15:52.000 My wife, when she was going through chemo, she would take this other thing that would balance her out. 0.99
02:15:59.000 And she went there and they gave her the wrong thing and the wrong dose.
02:16:06.000 And she came home And she looked like the creature from the Black Lagoon. 0.84
02:16:12.000 She started getting lumps all over her body, all over her hands.
02:16:16.000 And they're like, yeah, no, that's the, uh...
02:16:19.000 Yeah, no, it's normal.
02:16:21.000 That's usually, you know, it's one of the side effects.
02:16:23.000 She's like, no, I haven't had this side effect yet.
02:16:25.000 This is freaking me out.
02:16:27.000 Some other things were going on with her. 0.99
02:16:29.000 And sure, she had no fucking hair already and no... 1.00
02:16:31.000 It's awful when people go through it. 0.99
02:16:33.000 They look like aliens.
02:16:34.000 People stare at you like, oh my gosh, I'm just gonna be dead. 0.99
02:16:38.000 They're sick. 0.75
02:16:39.000 Look at their skin. 0.99
02:16:40.000 Jesus Christ.
02:16:41.000 I support her because she wears the bandana.
02:16:44.000 So you got that going on, and I think the end of the week they're like, listen.
02:16:53.000 Sorry, I just realized the dosage was wrong and that's why.
02:17:00.000 And the good news is, the good news is, you won't need it next time because you already met your needs for that type of thing.
02:17:09.000 But it's good because what you got was really good.
02:17:12.000 So what they try to do is avoid any sort of malpractice lawsuit?
02:17:16.000 Well, probably.
02:17:17.000 Yeah.
02:17:18.000 Because you don't know.
02:17:19.000 Like, here's what I gave you.
02:17:20.000 See the X, Y's clips and all that. 0.67
02:17:22.000 I just don't understand why their handwriting would be so shitty. 0.99
02:17:25.000 Like, unless they don't give a fuck. 1.00
02:17:26.000 Like, if you're writing a prescription for someone, if I was going to write a prescription for Xanax, but Xanax was like a lot like Xanolamethan, which fucking kills your dick like a fucking sniper. 1.00
02:17:38.000 And this is how you're going to do it. 1.00
02:17:40.000 Do it.
02:17:40.000 And you just sort of...
02:17:42.000 I mean, you look at some of the writings that a doctor's written down prescription-wise, and you're like, no one can read that.
02:17:49.000 No one can understand that.
02:17:50.000 There's a website that charts them, like bad prescriptions, like bad handwriting prescriptions.
02:17:55.000 Now, class, here's the most important question of the day.
02:17:59.000 Why, can someone tell me why, when we sign these prescriptions, and don't forget, you're a doctor now.
02:18:07.000 You're very busy.
02:18:09.000 You're on call, you're 24-7, you're on call at the hospital.
02:18:12.000 Why do we make this type of signature?
02:18:16.000 We're not really sure.
02:18:17.000 Yes, Charlie in the back?
02:18:18.000 To make sure we could never really be sued.
02:18:23.000 Excellent choice, Charlie!
02:18:24.000 So they make a signature that anybody could forge?
02:18:27.000 Forge?
02:18:29.000 Or...
02:18:29.000 Yeah, I didn't say that.
02:18:31.000 My buddy Guido Orlandi.
02:18:32.000 He's a pool cue maker.
02:18:34.000 He's a great guy.
02:18:35.000 And Guido had a signature.
02:18:36.000 I'm not bullshitting.
02:18:38.000 I'm gonna blow up a spot. 0.87
02:18:39.000 I'll show it to you.
02:18:40.000 I don't want to show it to everybody else, so you steal Guido's empire.
02:18:44.000 Yes, show me.
02:18:45.000 This was his signature.
02:18:47.000 I'm not kidding.
02:18:48.000 He made an O. He made a weird O. So his wife forged that shit and cleaned him out when he got divorced.
02:18:55.000 And he fucking hated life after that, man. 1.00
02:18:58.000 He was so angry, so bitter, so crushed. 1.00
02:19:02.000 And I was like, how the fuck do you think you could just get by with that crazy signature? 0.99
02:19:05.000 But he... 0.99
02:19:06.000 But why would you?
02:19:07.000 Don't you...
02:19:09.000 He's a guy who wanted to simplify his life.
02:19:11.000 He's a very smart guy.
02:19:13.000 And he decided to simplify his life.
02:19:15.000 That's how he did it.
02:19:16.000 He's like, oh, I don't want this crazy signature.
02:19:17.000 You make me sign things? 0.98
02:19:18.000 I think signing things is stupid, so I'll just do that. 0.99
02:19:21.000 That's my signature. 0.98
02:19:22.000 He wrote it on everything.
02:19:24.000 But he thought he was slick.
02:19:26.000 Look at this.
02:19:27.000 Doctor's prescription.
02:19:28.000 Wow.
02:19:29.000 Look at that. 1.00
02:19:30.000 Why don't you just give me a bullet? 1.00
02:19:32.000 Shoot me right in the fucking head. 1.00
02:19:34.000 This is crazy! 1.00
02:19:36.000 Reading that is insane.
02:19:37.000 Like, no one can read that.
02:19:39.000 I bet he can't even read that.
02:19:41.000 It's amazing.
02:19:42.000 7,000 people annually die from bad handwriting.
02:19:46.000 It used to be way worse, though.
02:19:47.000 This is 2006. Yeah.
02:19:49.000 Okay, so that's probably what it is.
02:19:50.000 They figured out, all right, how much is it costing us in lawsuits and publicity?
02:19:54.000 14 billion.
02:19:55.000 How much have we made in the last two years, sir?
02:19:59.000 That would be 50 trillion.
02:20:00.000 All right, then this is not a battle, then.
02:20:03.000 It's worth the overdoses, please.
02:20:05.000 Talking about pennies.
02:20:07.000 I think doctors should work maximum four hours a day, unless they have to do surgery.
02:20:11.000 They should be well rested and taken care of, and there should be more of them.
02:20:14.000 And let me ask you this, Jamie.
02:20:16.000 How many people die from malpractice?
02:20:18.000 Guess this.
02:20:19.000 Let's guess this.
02:20:19.000 I say...
02:20:21.000 A day?
02:20:22.000 A year?
02:20:22.000 A year.
02:20:23.000 How many a year?
02:20:24.000 Malpractice.
02:20:25.000 Yeah. 0.97
02:20:25.000 Just fuck-ups. 0.97
02:20:26.000 Just mistakes, accidents.
02:20:29.000 Um...
02:20:30.000 I'm gonna say, like, two million.
02:20:32.000 What?!
02:20:33.000 That's way too high.
02:20:34.000 I was gonna say 30 grand!
02:20:34.000 I was gonna say 30!
02:20:35.000 Oh my god!
02:20:36.000 Mine's a slaying! 1.00
02:20:38.000 It's a fucking... 1.00
02:20:39.000 A manslaughter! 1.00
02:20:41.000 Mine's a complete manslaughter! 1.00
02:20:43.000 Just crocodiles running across the land like fucking fields of buffalo! 1.00
02:20:53.000 98,000. 1.00
02:20:54.000 Whoa.
02:20:55.000 Yeah, I was off by a little bit.
02:20:57.000 Holy year.
02:20:57.000 Oh, okay.
02:20:58.000 This is 15 years ago, though.
02:20:59.000 So this is 2009. They did this.
02:21:02.000 You would think it'd be 10 times better today, though, no? 0.99
02:21:04.000 Fucking A, man. 0.98
02:21:05.000 So the number should be like 20. It's still crazy. 0.99
02:21:08.000 Maybe 15. That's a nutty number, man.
02:21:10.000 98,000 people die.
02:21:12.000 Is that just America?
02:21:13.000 Due to errors.
02:21:14.000 Yeah.
02:21:17.000 Check out this mistake that was made on a prescription.
02:21:21.000 Can you guess what that says?
02:21:23.000 Methadone?
02:21:24.000 Methadone.
02:21:24.000 Yeah, no, it says methadate, which is, this is for a child.
02:21:28.000 Where's the T? Yeah, there's no T. This is supposed to be the T. Oh my god.
02:21:32.000 And so a child got methadone?
02:21:34.000 Yeah.
02:21:34.000 And died?
02:21:35.000 Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
02:21:36.000 I just lost it.
02:21:37.000 I don't even want to hear it.
02:21:39.000 And think of that, you're the one.
02:21:40.000 It's an ADHD medicine.
02:21:42.000 Oh my god.
02:21:43.000 I think of this. 0.99
02:21:44.000 Well, you know, that's fucking crazy anyway. 1.00
02:21:46.000 Giving that shit to a kid. 1.00
02:21:47.000 You gave that to your kid and trusted. 1.00
02:21:50.000 And the kid's like, I don't want it.
02:21:52.000 I don't want it.
02:21:53.000 Trust me, honey.
02:21:54.000 You need it.
02:21:55.000 You saw the man with the coat.
02:21:57.000 The man with the lab coat tells you that you need this.
02:21:59.000 This is going to make you popular in school.
02:22:01.000 And you saw the kids at the Rite Aid counter.
02:22:05.000 They're very trustworthy. 0.97
02:22:07.000 You interrupt in class because you've got something wrong with your brain.
02:22:10.000 The doctor's going to fix it.
02:22:11.000 This test shows that and proves that.
02:22:13.000 This test shows right here there's something wrong in your little second grade brain.
02:22:18.000 Sweetie, it's in a clipboard.
02:22:20.000 It's right.
02:22:21.000 It's believable and here's the best part.
02:22:24.000 We're covered for it.
02:22:27.000 We're covered for this insurance.
02:22:29.000 Honey, are we covered for the kid?
02:22:30.000 The kid?
02:22:31.000 Is everything covered?
02:22:32.000 They're covered for everything.
02:22:34.000 Oh, beautiful.
02:22:34.000 Thank you for having this job and support us, Carl.
02:22:37.000 Methadone.
02:22:38.000 Hmm, what's methadone?
02:22:39.000 Guess it's good.
02:22:40.000 Guess it's gonna help him.
02:22:41.000 Methadone.
02:22:42.000 Now, I'm researching this, Bob, and it says this could kill you and this should never be given to children.
02:22:51.000 What about the days before Google?
02:22:54.000 When your doctor could give you some advice and you had no idea whether or not it was the right advice or not.
02:22:59.000 But how about even trusting this scenario?
02:23:01.000 When you look it up and it fiercely says, don't give this, and you go, well, it was the doctor who said that I should.
02:23:08.000 Dude.
02:23:09.000 How crazy is that?
02:23:10.000 It's crazy. 1.00
02:23:11.000 And the idea that you can't even make a T, you lazy cunt. 1.00
02:23:15.000 You're writing a prescription for a fucking kid and you can't even cross a T? For a child. 1.00
02:23:19.000 Let's see.
02:23:20.000 What is this kid named?
02:23:24.000 Heroin.
02:23:25.000 While she's checking her phone.
02:23:27.000 He's thinking about some new Jaguar he's going to buy.
02:23:30.000 Right.
02:23:30.000 Going to buy a vacation home this summer after all my surgery money.
02:23:33.000 I can hear the noise coming out of my muffler.
02:23:37.000 I'll get a new gal. 1.00
02:23:39.000 I'm successful.
02:23:42.000 Perhaps I should smoke a pipe while I'm driving around my Jaguar.
02:23:46.000 Give me one of them so sophisticated.
02:23:48.000 English hats that had like beaks on both sides.
02:23:50.000 Try to bring you down.
02:23:52.000 You grew up in the Bronx!
02:23:54.000 Stop putting on airs! 1.00
02:23:56.000 Shut up, peasant. 1.00
02:23:57.000 I've elevated my status. 1.00
02:24:00.000 I still feel status is elevated.
02:24:02.000 Driving around.
02:24:03.000 Smoking my pipe. 1.00
02:24:04.000 You gotta be a classy bitch to drive around with a pipe. 1.00
02:24:07.000 Right? 1.00
02:24:08.000 Yes.
02:24:09.000 Would you like to come in my yard and see the new zebra and giraffe I just purchased?
02:24:23.000 That face! 1.00
02:24:27.000 I'm just thinking if this is my neighbor, I'll be like, fuck. 1.00
02:24:29.000 I should probably just humor this guy and go see a zebra just so he doesn't hate me. 1.00
02:24:32.000 I don't want to live next to this crazy fucking zoo owner. 1.00
02:24:36.000 He's going to make some poisonous snake. 1.00
02:24:38.000 You mocked me for my zebra and giraffe, and now the poisonous snake is in your rear.
02:24:43.000 Strange.
02:24:44.000 We could have been friends. 1.00
02:24:45.000 This damn giraffe just ate all your bushes, Claire. 1.00
02:24:49.000 I've had it with this fucking zookeeper. 1.00
02:24:51.000 Fucking zookeeper. 1.00
02:24:53.000 Imagine your next-door neighbor is a goddamn zookeeper. 1.00
02:24:56.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00
02:24:57.000 This is what you hear at night. 1.00
02:25:06.000 The fucking noises! 1.00
02:25:10.000 The fucking noises! 1.00
02:25:21.000 The beast. 1.00
02:25:22.000 The beast noises.
02:25:27.000 They're the worst.
02:25:29.000 Imagine you're in your Land Rover Defender, trying to get away from the encampment.
02:25:33.000 You're driving away and you get a flat.
02:25:35.000 And you're like, what should we do?
02:25:36.000 Well, we should definitely wait until the morning.
02:25:38.000 We can't see.
02:25:39.000 I don't have a light.
02:25:40.000 We can't see.
02:25:41.000 I can't change it. 1.00
02:25:42.000 And then, as you're sleeping in that fucking Land Rover, you hear... 1.00
02:25:45.000 And you look out there, there's 30 of them with their paws on the fucking hood. 1.00
02:25:56.000 And you hear way, way, way in the distance. 0.99
02:25:59.000 Way in the distance!
02:26:02.000 Oh, that sound.
02:26:11.000 Oh! 0.60
02:26:16.000 They're all running.
02:26:18.000 This guy's explaining to me, elephants, why they kill elephants.
02:26:21.000 He's like, it's not just that people want to go over and trophy hunt these things.
02:26:27.000 Sometimes the elephants will move into a village, and these farmers, they have these plots of food for the village, and that's all they have.
02:26:34.000 And these elephants move in and just eat everything. 0.97
02:26:36.000 It's not a goddamn thing they can do. 0.98
02:26:38.000 There's nothing you can do. 0.97
02:26:39.000 Nothing they can do.
02:26:40.000 A dinosaur just came in, and it's the way he's been living forever, and he's gonna throw a spear.
02:26:46.000 Maybe there's three of them, or four of them.
02:26:49.000 They're coming from every angle now. 0.99
02:26:51.000 What the fuck are you gonna do? 1.00
02:26:51.000 And so you have all these vegetables that you're growing for your family, and you're fucked. 1.00
02:26:56.000 How long did it take you to build this fucking hut? 1.00
02:26:59.000 Gone in ten seconds. 1.00
02:27:01.000 They just jack you.
02:27:02.000 And if they think you're a threat in any way, they just eliminate that threat. 0.96
02:27:05.000 Just go pick you up and throw you. 1.00
02:27:07.000 Yeah.
02:27:08.000 Dude.
02:27:09.000 Go ahead, get your spear.
02:27:11.000 Did you see where your little friend just landed?
02:27:12.000 Yeah, because I was arguing.
02:27:13.000 I was like, why would they ever need to kill an elephant?
02:27:16.000 Like, you don't ever need to kill an elephant.
02:27:18.000 And the guy was like, actually, here's what goes on.
02:27:20.000 And I was like, oh.
02:27:22.000 So they hire people to go and kill the elephant.
02:27:25.000 Or they'll give someone a permit to kill the elephant, and then that person pays.
02:27:31.000 Like 50,000 bucks or something like that, and they'll come and kill the elephant. 0.95
02:27:34.000 So some guy like that, those hunters, the fake hunters from that thing, they'll pose with it and show the ivory and everything like that, and then they give all the meat to the village, and then the village gets 50 grand.
02:27:45.000 We got charged when I was in Africa, and the guy was like, listen, they'll charge, but it's always to spook you.
02:27:58.000 And my nine-year-old...
02:28:01.000 It's in the Jeep in front of us with another kid and whatever and we were by a herd and this thing turned around and then The one we thought was going to charge, a different one charged.
02:28:18.000 They called it a teenager.
02:28:19.000 It ran and went right for my kid's Jeep, hit the Jeep, and then pushed it about 10 feet.
02:28:26.000 And I went through everything where it's going to knock over the vehicle and then just start smushing.
02:28:33.000 And this guy got out of the van and he starts clapping.
02:28:38.000 He's clapping.
02:28:39.000 Blah, blah, [...
02:28:43.000 And the thing kind of stopped and shook his head and then went back off.
02:28:49.000 It was those things...
02:28:53.000 I can't imagine living there and just what you said, because just that flash where the kid was just in a Jeep.
02:29:00.000 There was no stopping us.
02:29:02.000 This thing, once it started moving, there was no worry.
02:29:05.000 Okay, you have like two seconds to react.
02:29:08.000 There is no, it's coming, it's coming, it's coming!
02:29:12.000 He was far away and within seconds, he was on it and I watched in shock.
02:29:19.000 So they just don't want people driving through, is that what it is?
02:29:22.000 They're animals of territory.
02:29:24.000 And they also, they've seen, they've probably seen hunters, so they associate now with jeeps.
02:29:29.000 It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, is this thing going to shoot us?
02:29:31.000 Well, I don't care, but I lost my brother.
02:29:33.000 I'm taking it out.
02:29:34.000 They have crazy memories, apparently.
02:29:36.000 Yeah.
02:29:38.000 Isn't that the vehicle that came when we were at the watering hole and he sliced my...
02:29:42.000 Get it. 1.00
02:29:44.000 Fuck. 1.00
02:29:45.000 Get it. 1.00
02:29:46.000 Get it.
02:29:47.000 You know, I don't see myself going over there.
02:29:50.000 Nah, I think you'd like it.
02:29:53.000 I'm being serious. 1.00
02:29:53.000 You were on a fucking spear hunt. 1.00
02:29:55.000 Yeah, but it was awesome. 1.00
02:29:56.000 Stay back.
02:29:59.000 I think about that now.
02:30:00.000 I go wish I'm crazy.
02:30:01.000 I hear behind you.
02:30:05.000 Hon, you alright? 1.00
02:30:06.000 Fucking cobra. 1.00
02:30:09.000 See, I didn't even think about stuff like that. 1.00
02:30:10.000 What the heck was I thinking?
02:30:11.000 Some cobra.
02:30:12.000 Bouncing or funny.
02:30:18.000 The moon's out, so I can't really tell what it is. 0.99
02:30:20.000 Imagine how fucked up you have to be. 0.99
02:30:24.000 To be a cobra. 1.00
02:30:26.000 You're growing poison in your head and you shoot it out of your teeth. 1.00
02:30:31.000 You bite people and inject them. 1.00
02:30:33.000 You're literally a walking needle. 1.00
02:30:35.000 You're a needle. 1.00
02:30:36.000 Yes. 1.00
02:30:37.000 You're a walking overdose needle. 1.00
02:30:39.000 A poison needle. 1.00
02:30:40.000 Yeah.
02:30:40.000 Poison needle.
02:30:42.000 And some of them, you're just 100% death.
02:30:45.000 Some of them, it's 100%.
02:30:46.000 Not enough people get bitten to make enough anti-venom, you're never gonna get it.
02:30:52.000 You're never gonna get it in time.
02:30:53.000 Yeah, who's carrying that?
02:30:54.000 Yeah, you gotta carry it with you everywhere?
02:30:56.000 It only lasts a little while.
02:30:58.000 Who's carrying that?
02:30:59.000 You gotta keep making it.
02:31:00.000 They make it with horses, too.
02:31:01.000 Did you know that?
02:31:02.000 What?
02:31:02.000 Like rattlesnake venom, anti-venom.
02:31:04.000 They shoot horses up with it.
02:31:07.000 They take a rattlesnake, they inject rattlesnake venom in the horse, the horse collects the antibodies, produces antibodies, and they take those antibodies out, and that's like the serum that they use.
02:31:18.000 Really?
02:31:19.000 At least they used to do it that way.
02:31:20.000 Pretty sure they still do, though.
02:31:21.000 I know it's an issue for vegans, because if vegans don't want to use any animal products, and they get bitten by a snake, like, they have to compromise.
02:31:31.000 There has to be some...
02:31:32.000 There has to be some compromise here.
02:31:36.000 Yeah.
02:31:38.000 I don't get all that.
02:31:39.000 I get it, but I don't get it.
02:31:41.000 I get it.
02:31:41.000 I get it.
02:31:42.000 They want to be nice.
02:31:43.000 They want to be righteous.
02:31:44.000 They want to be a good person.
02:31:45.000 Is it nice?
02:31:46.000 Is it the fight for...
02:31:47.000 It doesn't matter.
02:31:48.000 ...just cruelty in general?
02:31:49.000 I think, ultimately, cruelty's terrible.
02:31:52.000 You know?
02:31:52.000 Our real problem is factory farming.
02:31:55.000 Our real problem is the cruelty to animals.
02:31:58.000 It's not eating animals.
02:31:59.000 A real problem, I mean, because they're gonna die.
02:32:01.000 They're gonna live, they're gonna die, and I know you could say that argument about people, too.
02:32:04.000 Why don't you see people then?
02:32:06.000 Because people are people, and we're different than cows, okay?
02:32:11.000 Yeah, but don't you see that- I can't believe I have to tell you this.
02:32:12.000 Listen, we all know this.
02:32:14.000 Yeah.
02:32:15.000 This is what I always say, we all know all of this.
02:32:17.000 Mm-hmm.
02:32:18.000 You can go to a factory and see it, you can go to any factory, anything, chickens, everything you love, right down to plants.
02:32:25.000 Yep.
02:32:27.000 Anything.
02:32:28.000 It's all been manufactured.
02:32:30.000 Well, now what are you going to do?
02:32:32.000 What are you going to do?
02:32:32.000 Are you just going to bark?
02:32:33.000 Are you going to go down the street with a little sign?
02:32:35.000 Yeah, and these poor chickens are not really grass-fed.
02:32:40.000 Where at the same time, you're buying the t-shirt to watch the brand new show!
02:32:47.000 And who are you going to vote for?
02:32:49.000 How many shirts did we buy today, Bob?
02:32:53.000 Make America great again!
02:32:56.000 Build a wall!
02:32:57.000 Build a wall!
02:33:01.000 They're building walls in Wisconsin!
02:33:04.000 They're building walls in North Dakota!
02:33:07.000 They're building walls in half America! 0.86
02:33:14.000 The only way to keep the Mexicans out of each individual state is wall them all off. 1.00
02:33:17.000 If we wall them all off, we can keep them from getting in. 0.99
02:33:19.000 Once we find them, we have them walled off in the air, then we get them, we send them to Mexico. 1.00
02:33:23.000 The only way is not one wall.
02:33:24.000 We need 50 walls.
02:33:25.000 And a wall over each individual state.
02:33:28.000 That way we can contain anyone who causes a problem. 0.99
02:33:31.000 First we'll start with Mexicans and we'll work our way up to really rude white people. 1.00
02:33:36.000 If you wear any type of cloth around your head, you shall be prostituted! 1.00
02:33:47.000 But what about do-rags?
02:33:49.000 What if those come back?
02:33:49.000 That's why I say that.
02:33:51.000 Do-rags all of a sudden become huge! 1.00
02:33:54.000 We had 14 mishap beheadings today.
02:33:58.000 Okay, but there's going to be a racial problem, because do-rags, they might have some pushback on that, but what about the bandana that Bret Michaels from Poison wears? 0.96
02:34:08.000 That's a tough, that's a gray zone.
02:34:11.000 Because he's white. 0.82
02:34:12.000 It's a gray zone. 0.86
02:34:13.000 That's white privilege. 0.99
02:34:14.000 He's a gang. 0.98
02:34:15.000 He's in a gang.
02:34:15.000 He's a rocker.
02:34:17.000 Yeah, that's a gang.
02:34:18.000 So you need tattoos and you need to sing.
02:34:21.000 You need at least one song.
02:34:22.000 Yeah.
02:34:23.000 And he's got more than one.
02:34:24.000 Every rose has its thorn.
02:34:27.000 He's wearing the forbidden garb.
02:34:29.000 He's allowed to.
02:34:30.000 He's a rocker.
02:34:31.000 He's a rocker.
02:34:31.000 Beautiful hair.
02:34:32.000 Not real.
02:34:33.000 Beautiful, though.
02:34:35.000 Interesting look.
02:34:36.000 Axl Rose, too.
02:34:37.000 But Axl Rose. 1.00
02:34:38.000 Darn. 0.99
02:34:40.000 Axl Rose can kind of pull it off better for whatever. 1.00
02:34:44.000 Oh, that's strange.
02:34:45.000 It's a strange look.
02:34:46.000 Yeah.
02:34:47.000 I don't know.
02:34:48.000 It's his thing though, man.
02:34:49.000 You know?
02:34:50.000 Maybe it's a good move if you dress like that all the time. 1.00
02:34:54.000 That way when you take that shit off, nobody recognizes you anywhere you go. 1.00
02:34:57.000 Maybe that's the move. 1.00
02:34:59.000 Right?
02:35:00.000 That could be.
02:35:01.000 That could be the move.
02:35:02.000 Wear the bandana.
02:35:03.000 Beautiful eyes.
02:35:04.000 Look at them.
02:35:05.000 Beautiful, man.
02:35:06.000 Is that real?
02:35:07.000 You think you put that through like one of them Instagram filters?
02:35:12.000 Whoa.
02:35:13.000 Hey, why are you pulling your pants down, bro? 1.00
02:35:15.000 Put a fucking shirt on! 1.00
02:35:16.000 Get a good six-pack, though. 1.00
02:35:17.000 Didn't know he was so built.
02:35:19.000 Alright, enough, Jamie.
02:35:20.000 I'm getting hard.
02:35:21.000 Let's move on.
02:35:23.000 Jim Brewer.
02:35:24.000 What are you doing in town, man?
02:35:25.000 See, now...
02:35:26.000 But hold on.
02:35:27.000 Okay.
02:35:28.000 I get...
02:35:28.000 I get...
02:35:31.000 As much as that drives me nuts, and I can tip my hat...
02:35:38.000 To him just going, alright, I'm in the system.
02:35:41.000 I gotta create my wrestling character.
02:35:45.000 Here's my character.
02:35:46.000 I live in this system.
02:35:47.000 We're all slaves.
02:35:48.000 Are we not all slaves to something?
02:35:50.000 Do you think he's thinking like that?
02:35:51.000 No, I don't know.
02:35:52.000 He's probably just making money, man.
02:35:53.000 It's good business.
02:35:54.000 I just bought a boat.
02:35:55.000 He's got a new place in Miami.
02:35:57.000 Jeez.
02:35:58.000 He doesn't have to worry about nothing.
02:35:59.000 What is that picture?
02:36:00.000 What's going on there?
02:36:01.000 Why does he have lipstick on?
02:36:03.000 Why not?
02:36:03.000 It worked.
02:36:03.000 It worked for a while.
02:36:05.000 Remember?
02:36:05.000 They all were glammed up.
02:36:07.000 Remember the early Guns N' Roses, even, he was glammed up.
02:36:09.000 They were very glammed up.
02:36:10.000 Teased up hair.
02:36:11.000 Remember?
02:36:12.000 People forget that.
02:36:13.000 No, they were a hairband.
02:36:14.000 Remember Welcome to the Jungle?
02:36:15.000 Remember the video for that?
02:36:16.000 Full-blown hair.
02:36:17.000 He had that almost like Afro look at that. 1.00
02:36:20.000 When he landed...
02:36:22.000 When he landed in LA, remember?
02:36:24.000 Right.
02:36:24.000 Look at this hair!
02:36:27.000 Look at this hair!
02:36:28.000 Yeah, makeup.
02:36:29.000 There's eyeliner.
02:36:30.000 Is that eyeliner or is it...
02:36:30.000 No, that's a shadow.
02:36:31.000 They're beautiful.
02:36:32.000 It's just natural.
02:36:33.000 Natural beauty. 1.00
02:36:35.000 They were the baddest motherfuckers at the time. 1.00
02:36:37.000 Crazy how hard that was for them to handle. 1.00
02:36:40.000 That was a wild, quick-ass ride.
02:36:42.000 It's interesting to see them touring again now.
02:36:44.000 You know, they did Coachella.
02:36:45.000 I saw some videos of it.
02:36:47.000 Looked wild.
02:36:48.000 Sitting out there, he had a broken foot, so he was doing all his dancing from a chair.
02:36:52.000 Did you see it?
02:36:53.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:36:56.000 Your fucking rock stars are getting old. 1.00
02:36:58.000 They're dancing from a chair. 1.00
02:37:00.000 They're doing like the chair wiggle.
02:37:01.000 I felt like I went to professional wrestling when I was 10. And it was Andre the Giant was the ref.
02:37:09.000 And I already bought my shirts.
02:37:10.000 It was Bob Backlund against Dusty Rose, the American Dream.
02:37:16.000 And I noticed they weren't hitting each other.
02:37:19.000 And then I noticed they were stomping their foots every time they elbowed.
02:37:24.000 And then I saw Andre the Giant take a chair and not really hit him, and I was shattered.
02:37:30.000 You saw it in real life.
02:37:31.000 And I went, oh no!
02:37:33.000 This is all just a show?
02:37:36.000 How does that happen?
02:37:37.000 Look at this.
02:37:38.000 He's got a foot brace. 1.00
02:37:40.000 Keith Richards would have shot himself up with heroin and danced like a fucking man. 1.00
02:37:46.000 I bet Keith Richards has never done a show from a chair. 1.00
02:37:48.000 But don't you think this is...
02:37:49.000 Don't you think...
02:37:50.000 It's fake?
02:37:52.000 Not only that, but it's freaking brilliant.
02:37:55.000 It's brilliant?
02:37:55.000 I think he hurt his leg.
02:37:56.000 I think that's all it is.
02:37:57.000 No, no, no.
02:37:58.000 It's just the whole thing there.
02:38:00.000 Like, who talked to him like, you want...
02:38:02.000 This is...
02:38:03.000 They're going to make $50 billion.
02:38:06.000 Whatever they're going to...
02:38:07.000 $50 billion.
02:38:09.000 This was the top grossing ever.
02:38:13.000 Historic.
02:38:14.000 Mm-hmm.
02:38:16.000 You'll never beat it.
02:38:18.000 That's how much money we all care for below having. 1.00
02:38:22.000 Wow.
02:38:23.000 Yeah, definitely. 0.97
02:38:24.000 They brought him a fuckload of money.
02:38:26.000 That's how they got Axl to lay off the Botox and get in the chair. 0.96
02:38:30.000 Dude, you got a chair for you? 1.00
02:38:32.000 You got a fucking cast? 1.00
02:38:34.000 Don't worry about it, dude. 1.00
02:38:36.000 You can't dance anymore.
02:38:37.000 You hurt your foot.
02:38:38.000 Of course you can't dance.
02:38:39.000 Wink.
02:38:40.000 Wink.
02:38:40.000 Wink.
02:38:42.000 They probably saw him dance. 1.00
02:38:44.000 He's so fat and fucked up. 1.00
02:38:45.000 Now they probably broke his leg. 1.00
02:38:46.000 They probably came at him with a baseball bat. 1.00
02:38:48.000 The promoter's like, I got a fucking plan! 1.00
02:38:51.000 Crack! 1.00
02:38:53.000 You fucking fat junkie! 1.00
02:38:56.000 You're gonna do this from a chair! 1.00
02:38:59.000 Put a cast on him! 1.00
02:39:01.000 Put him in the fucking chair! 1.00
02:39:03.000 Imagine. 1.00
02:39:05.000 Yeah, they just broke his leg because he was so fat.
02:39:07.000 He showed up.
02:39:08.000 He showed up so fat, they got mad. 1.00
02:39:10.000 Fuck, come over here! 1.00
02:39:11.000 There's only one way. 1.00
02:39:11.000 We gotta hurt him. 1.00
02:39:12.000 What?
02:39:13.000 Why you gotta hurt him?
02:39:14.000 Wow! 1.00
02:39:14.000 Because we can't have him fucking dancing with his gut hanging out. 1.00
02:39:17.000 Just sit him down in the fucking chair, put a cast on him. 1.00
02:39:21.000 Didn't Dave Grohl break his leg while he was performing? 1.00
02:39:25.000 Yeah, I think, and that's his throne he was using.
02:39:27.000 That was his throne, right.
02:39:28.000 Yeah, because he had like a left leg injury.
02:39:30.000 So Axl just borrowed his left leg injury chair.
02:39:34.000 What?
02:39:36.000 Or is it a right leg?
02:39:37.000 It's reversed in both images.
02:39:39.000 Oh, Dave had a right leg injury.
02:39:40.000 Axl at a left.
02:39:41.000 That's pretty gangster. 1.00
02:39:43.000 Get your fucking foot taped up. 1.00
02:39:46.000 Did he fall off the stage or something? 1.00
02:39:48.000 Jesus Christ.
02:39:49.000 I liked it. 1.00
02:39:50.000 He's a bad motherfucker. 0.99
02:39:51.000 Foo Fighters are awesome, man. 1.00
02:39:54.000 You know, that guy went through Nirvana.
02:39:55.000 I'd like to sit him down and see what he thinks about that Courtney Love documentary.
02:39:59.000 What's that?
02:40:00.000 Talk to someone.
02:40:01.000 I think we can maybe get in touch with them.
02:40:03.000 Interesting.
02:40:05.000 That would be cool.
02:40:07.000 What is the Courtney Love thing?
02:40:08.000 Oh, there's some crazy documentary that thinks that Courtney Love killed Kurt Cobain.
02:40:12.000 Have you seen that?
02:40:14.000 What's it called?
02:40:16.000 That one is soaked in bleach.
02:40:18.000 Yeah.
02:40:19.000 It's got reenactments, too.
02:40:22.000 It's super sketchy.
02:40:22.000 Oh, it's a reenactment?
02:40:23.000 Yeah.
02:40:24.000 It was super sketchy.
02:40:26.000 Whenever you have reenactments, you're like, what?
02:40:28.000 And the guy who's a reenactor is like the actor from, I think, Thinner.
02:40:34.000 From the movie Thinner with Stephen King.
02:40:36.000 He's like a semi-famous actor.
02:40:38.000 Is that who it is?
02:40:39.000 Is it the same guy?
02:40:40.000 It's all in the documentary?
02:40:42.000 Yeah, he plays the cop in the reenactments, and it's like, okay.
02:40:47.000 That's the guy who plays Kurt, but there's a guy who plays the detective.
02:40:51.000 It's a weird documentary, because it's like, man, you can say anything you want in a documentary if you use a bunch of reenactments, and you're pretending that you were there while this happened, but...
02:41:00.000 You see my white coat.
02:41:03.000 Yeah.
02:41:05.000 It's a documentary.
02:41:06.000 It's true if I say documentary.
02:41:09.000 We have a script.
02:41:10.000 We have a storyboard.
02:41:12.000 It's reality, which means it is real.
02:41:15.000 We're shooting it in 4K. You get to wear the goggles and everything.
02:41:20.000 You'll be part of the system.
02:41:22.000 That will come out very soon.
02:41:23.000 Don't tell him our secrets.
02:41:25.000 Sorry!
02:41:26.000 Jim Brewer.
02:41:29.000 So, we've got to end this, and then we're going to come back, and Jim Brewer is going to stay with me as we talk to the great Russell Brand.
02:41:38.000 That will be next.
02:41:39.000 We're going to do the Jim and Joe show.
02:41:41.000 It's about time.
02:41:42.000 We should have done this years ago.
02:41:43.000 Joe, this was cool.
02:41:45.000 Thank you.
02:41:46.000 We're going to keep doing it.
02:41:47.000 It was cool. 0.90
02:41:47.000 I'm fucking so happy you're here, man. 0.90
02:41:49.000 I'm having a great goddamn time. 0.99
02:41:50.000 I'm happy too. 0.98
02:41:50.000 We'll be back with Russell Brand in a little bit. 0.98
02:41:53.000 See you soon, you fuck. 1.00