The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #830 - Neal Brennan

00:00:01.000 I got stories. 0.99

00:00:01.000 I got that magnetic shit I did to my brain. 0.99

00:00:06.000 Live. 1.00

00:00:06.000 Now? 1.00

00:00:07.000 Is it happening?

00:00:07.000 It's happening.

00:00:08.000 Wow.

00:00:08.000 Right now.

00:00:09.000 Crazy how it works out like that, right?

00:00:11.000 Yeah.

00:00:11.000 What were you just about to say?

00:00:13.000 Magnetic shit? 1.00

00:00:13.000 I was about to say I did some magnetic shit to my brain. 1.00

00:00:16.000 What? 0.99

00:00:16.000 Yeah, I feel like I'm your depression correspondent. 0.99

00:00:21.000 Like, I go out and do crazy shit. 0.99

00:00:23.000 I did that. 0.99

00:00:25.000 Alright, so it's called...

00:00:26.000 I talked about it last time I was here.

00:00:27.000 I was gonna do it.

00:00:29.000 I did ketamine, which I gotta say I cannot recommend.

00:00:35.000 Really?

00:00:35.000 Yeah.

00:00:36.000 I did three, no, actually I did six sessions, which was crazy.

00:00:42.000 Did it, but the side effects long term were my eyes burnt for straight up two to three months every day.

00:00:50.000 Burnt?

00:00:51.000 Yeah, burnt like I needed drops constantly.

00:00:53.000 Like you stare at the sun burnt?

00:00:56.000 No, like irritated.

00:00:59.000 Like you got something in them?

00:01:00.000 Yeah, more like that.

00:01:02.000 And I just felt like kind of grogging out of it for a couple months.

00:01:06.000 Really?

00:01:06.000 Yeah.

00:01:07.000 Then I did...

00:01:09.000 Let's explain that, though, because we're kind of glossing over it.

00:01:11.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:01:11.000 Well, I talked about it last time I was here, but...

00:01:13.000 Did you?

00:01:13.000 Yeah.

00:01:14.000 Yeah, because I got a lot of people...

00:01:16.000 Did you talk about you were gonna do it or you...

00:01:17.000 I don't...

00:01:18.000 Maybe I was gonna do it.

00:01:19.000 I think you had done it.

00:01:20.000 Yeah, I had done it.

00:01:21.000 And it was still too early to tell.

00:01:23.000 But I remember running into you in the hall at a comedy store and you were super happy with it.

00:01:27.000 It was amazing.

00:01:28.000 The first time I did it, the first two sessions were great.

00:01:30.000 And then after that, I kind of hit a plateau and I just kind of felt like...

00:01:36.000 Just kind of like groggy for...

00:01:39.000 I'm not kidding, like a couple months.

00:01:41.000 So the first session you did, you get this positive benefit from it.

00:01:44.000 What's the point in continuing?

00:01:47.000 Because the treatment is six sessions.

00:01:50.000 The protocol.

00:01:51.000 Yeah, that's the protocol.

00:01:53.000 So, hold on, I think I have video of it too.

00:01:56.000 I know I have video.

00:01:58.000 Twitching and...

00:01:59.000 No, it's not even that interesting.

00:02:01.000 You're just basically in a hospital room.

00:02:04.000 Right, but the experience itself, you said, was full-blown psychedelic. 0.99

00:02:09.000 Straight up fucking 100% tripping balls. 0.99

00:02:14.000 And this is all FDA approved? 1.00

00:02:17.000 It's FDA approved as an anesthetic.

00:02:21.000 Right.

00:02:21.000 It's not FDA approved.

00:02:23.000 Actually, you know what?

00:02:24.000 It's getting there.

00:02:24.000 I think it is there, actually.

00:02:26.000 Because otherwise we wouldn't be able to talk about it.

00:02:27.000 Yeah.

00:02:28.000 It is approved as an off-label depression treatment. 0.98

00:02:33.000 Off-label's tricky shit, isn't it? 0.97

00:02:35.000 Yes, because there's no... 0.99

00:02:37.000 They don't know.

00:02:39.000 Yeah.

00:02:39.000 Maybe.

00:02:40.000 I mean, that's all of them in some ways.

00:02:42.000 Especially with antidepressants, it's all like, yeah, this might...

00:02:45.000 This mic could do something, maybe not.

00:02:47.000 I like that there's stuff that they can do to you that is definitely beneficial, but it's just, you know, your insurance isn't going to cover it.

00:02:54.000 If you have the cash, you can pay for it.

00:02:56.000 Yeah, that's kind of the situation I was in, where it's like, nobody was going to pay for it, but if you want to roll the dice, and I rolled the dice and I got to say, hmm.

00:03:06.000 But you, do you think that if the initial treatments that you had, the first couple that you really had good responses from, if you just stopped there, you'd have a different opinion of it?

00:03:16.000 I don't know.

00:03:17.000 That's the thing, if I just did it once, it kind of felt like, you ever do acid?

00:03:20.000 Yes.

00:03:21.000 You know that like ping, that like super clear feeling you get?

00:03:24.000 Yes.

00:03:24.000 That's how I felt the day I saw you.

00:03:26.000 I did acid for the first time, like, I want to say four months ago?

00:03:30.000 Oh wow.

00:03:31.000 Five months ago?

00:03:31.000 That's great.

00:03:32.000 What did you think?

00:03:33.000 Loved it.

00:03:33.000 Yeah?

00:03:34.000 You didn't find it too intense?

00:03:35.000 No.

00:03:35.000 Okay.

00:03:36.000 Because it can be speedy as fuck. 0.99

00:03:37.000 I'm so used to edibles and float tanks. 0.99

00:03:41.000 Yeah.

00:03:41.000 That I think it's very introspective.

00:03:45.000 It was very clean.

00:03:47.000 Like the idea behind it.

00:03:49.000 Like the feeling behind it.

00:03:52.000 The thought process behind it.

00:03:53.000 I was like, ooh, this is like...

00:03:54.000 It's a mind clarifier.

00:03:56.000 It's like...

00:03:57.000 You know, Bill Hicks used to call it a squeegee in your third eye, like mushrooms?

00:04:01.000 It felt very clarifying, if that makes any sense.

00:04:06.000 Yeah, it makes total sense.

00:04:08.000 I felt great.

00:04:09.000 I felt really good.

00:04:11.000 I felt really friendly.

00:04:15.000 During?

00:04:15.000 Yeah, man.

00:04:16.000 Like, real happy.

00:04:17.000 You must have had good stuff, because a lot of times it can be speedy, and it ends up feeling like mushrooms and, I think, maybe meth.

00:04:25.000 Oh, combined.

00:04:26.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:04:27.000 So you end up with this just, like, intense fucking... 0.99

00:04:29.000 It's not the goddamn problem is that it's illegal. 1.00

00:04:32.000 Okay. 0.97

00:04:32.000 So you're getting weird versions of it. 0.97

00:04:34.000 Here's the doctor putting the IV in my arm.

00:04:37.000 Okay.

00:04:37.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:04:38.000 Can I see it?

00:04:39.000 Yeah.

00:04:40.000 Oh, Christ.

00:04:43.000 Did you take this with a 1980s phone?

00:04:45.000 No, that's just the way it's saved or whatever.

00:04:48.000 Why is it saved so little?

00:04:50.000 I don't know.

00:04:53.000 This is bizarre.

00:04:55.000 Did you blow it up?

00:04:56.000 No, I can't.

00:04:59.000 So this doctor is...

00:05:00.000 He looked like Bob Shapiro, O.J.'s counsel.

00:05:03.000 O.J.'s lead counsel.

00:05:05.000 So you just go into a regular doctor's office and...

00:05:12.000 He just sticks this thing in your arm.

00:05:13.000 Sticks a thing in your arm and off you go.

00:05:15.000 Now the doctor, has he tried it himself?

00:05:18.000 He would not say, but he said it with a wink that he had.

00:05:24.000 He was like, I won't comment either way on whether I've done it myself.

00:05:28.000 Yeah, all those guys, they wanted to keep it on the sneak tip.

00:05:31.000 Yeah, but clearly he had.

00:05:33.000 So yeah, I would say for the first session was amazing.

00:05:37.000 That's when I saw you.

00:05:39.000 And then after that, it got a little dicey.

00:05:41.000 Now, what does it feel like when you're in?

00:05:46.000 It felt like I was in a pod.

00:05:48.000 A pod.

00:05:49.000 In like a small, it's a small world after all, like pod.

00:05:54.000 I'm going into the pod now, crossing my arms, and like a little boat just going along.

00:06:01.000 Through rooms.

00:06:02.000 And the rooms, I would say, were designed, like, kind of a bit like, uh, what's the, uh, Clockwork Orange, like the milk bar thing, a bit like white walls, white breathing walls.

00:06:19.000 Breathing?

00:06:19.000 Yeah, breathing.

00:06:20.000 I'd say they were breathing.

00:06:21.000 Yeah, they were inhaling and exhaling.

00:06:24.000 But I was never freaked out.

00:06:27.000 And then there was like kind of digits on it, like the Matrix.

00:06:31.000 It had like a green hue to it. 0.98

00:06:34.000 My biggest worry when I was in it was like, I'm so out of it, if there's an earthquake, I'm fucked. 0.95

00:06:41.000 And I would get like wide shots of California. 0.95

00:06:45.000 I would get like wide shots of California and think about like the hospital crumbling...

00:06:51.000 And then me trying to get out and going like, I can't go, man.

00:06:54.000 You're not going to have to go without me.

00:06:55.000 Give me 40 minutes and I'll catch up to you guys.

00:06:58.000 So that was my biggest worry.

00:07:00.000 But for the most part, it was just like a fairly pleasant...

00:07:03.000 I just couldn't get over the fact that this was happening in a doctor's office.

00:07:07.000 Right. 1.00

00:07:07.000 Just like a regular ass fucking doctor. 1.00

00:07:10.000 Like literally waiting room with other physicians and their patients, old weirdos, shitty magazines. 1.00

00:07:17.000 And then you go in and you trip your fucking head off. 0.99

00:07:21.000 And so you're sitting in like a regular chair? 1.00

00:07:24.000 It's a reclinable bed.

00:07:26.000 Oh, that's nice.

00:07:27.000 Like a craftmatic type thing.

00:07:28.000 Oh, yeah, it's real nice.

00:07:28.000 They spared no expense.

00:07:30.000 So you're sitting in this craftmatic adjustable bed.

00:07:34.000 You get the needle in the arm and they leave it in there for how long?

00:07:38.000 40 minutes.

00:07:39.000 40 minutes.

00:07:40.000 Now, if an earthquake happened, could you just pull the needle out of your arm?

00:07:42.000 I was so out of it, I don't think I could have.

00:07:45.000 I think once the drip happened...

00:07:47.000 Like, it's in you for a while.

00:07:50.000 So once the drip happens, you probably have however long.

00:07:53.000 I mean, it's a 40-minute trip, apparently, but I don't know if it's based on one.

00:07:57.000 I don't know how much is going in at once.

00:07:59.000 Now, that stuff, ketamine is weird because it was a tranquilizer, right?

00:08:04.000 For animals, a veterinary tranquilizer?

00:08:06.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:08:07.000 It's a horse tranquilizer, and they use it as an anesthesia for humans.

00:08:11.000 Yeah, I've heard of that.

00:08:13.000 The guy was an anesthesiologist.

00:08:15.000 He was.

00:08:16.000 Don't they use that in wartime because it's easy to carry around?

00:08:19.000 I believe they have in wartime because you can use very small amounts and it puts people under.

00:08:25.000 You know what that sounds like?

00:08:27.000 That sounds like a Joe Rogan fact.

00:08:28.000 I don't know for sure, but it sounds like...

00:08:31.000 Yes.

00:08:32.000 I think I'm pretty sure that's the case.

00:08:34.000 I'm pretty sure I was listening to a podcast where they were talking about various forms of anesthesia and sort of the evolution of using anesthesia and that ketamine worked really good in the field because you could have a very small amount and you would, you know,

00:08:49.000 put someone under pretty deeply.

00:08:51.000 Yeah, I don't know what if it's local.

00:08:53.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:08:54.000 Like, I don't know if you could have done surgery.

00:08:56.000 It wasn't like I couldn't feel myself.

00:08:57.000 Right, right.

00:08:58.000 It was more like I had no interest in it.

00:09:00.000 What do you got here?

00:09:01.000 Following FDA approval in 1970, what is that?

00:09:05.000 Anesthesia was first given to American soldiers during the Vietnam War.

00:09:08.000 Oh, there you go. 0.97

00:09:11.000 Yeah, there's a lot of shit on Reddit about it as an antidepressant, as a treatment for depression. 0.99

00:09:18.000 So, for you, you heard about this how? 0.99

00:09:24.000 I don't know.

00:09:24.000 I want to say, if you just Google depression treatments, it's probably page two.

00:09:30.000 Or alternative depression treatments is probably what I Googled.

00:09:34.000 Now, we've had these conversations before, you and I, about depression and different treatments.

00:09:39.000 How much exercise do you do?

00:09:41.000 Did we talk about this before?

00:09:42.000 Yeah, a decent amount.

00:09:43.000 I run probably three, four days a week.

00:09:45.000 That's pretty nice.

00:09:46.000 Yeah.

00:09:46.000 That's supposed to be one of the best things for depressions.

00:09:49.000 Yeah.

00:09:49.000 Cardio.

00:09:50.000 But, like, I've never gotten a runner's high, if that makes sense.

00:09:53.000 Really?

00:09:53.000 I think I have a shortage of dopamine in my brain, just naturally.

00:09:58.000 Like, I just think I don't have a ton of dopamine.

00:10:00.000 Like, I don't...

00:10:00.000 Joy is not a thing I think I've ever experienced.

00:10:03.000 What?

00:10:04.000 I repeat, joy is a thing that I don't think I've ever experienced.

00:10:07.000 I'll experience adrenaline rushes and, like, ego, but I'll never be truly, like...

00:10:15.000 Really?

00:10:16.000 Joyous, yeah. 0.56

00:10:16.000 It stinks. 0.56

00:10:17.000 It fucking stinks. 0.99

00:10:18.000 Because it's something I believe in. 0.99

00:10:21.000 I just don't...

00:10:22.000 I've accomplished things, I've done...

00:10:24.000 You know what I mean?

00:10:24.000 But I never get this sense of like, this real...

00:10:28.000 You know, in very small doses.

00:10:31.000 Extremely.

00:10:31.000 Like micro doses.

00:10:32.000 So, like, let me put it into perspective, like, career-wise.

00:10:35.000 Like, you had a nice Comedy Central special.

00:10:38.000 They put a lot of hype behind it.

00:10:40.000 I watched it.

00:10:41.000 You did really well.

00:10:41.000 Got a great response.

00:10:43.000 How'd you feel when all that was over?

00:10:45.000 I felt cool.

00:10:46.000 Cool.

00:10:47.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:10:48.000 Like, I felt like...

00:10:48.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:10:49.000 Like, alright, good shit, man. 1.00

00:10:51.000 Keep going. 1.00

00:10:52.000 See what else.

00:10:52.000 Yeah.

00:10:53.000 But I was never, like...

00:10:54.000 During Chappelle's show, I never got, like, a...

00:10:56.000 I'm the king of the world.

00:10:57.000 You know what I mean?

00:10:58.000 Like, never that sort of, like, huge...

00:11:01.000 Uh...

00:11:03.000 Something that would make you want to scream you feel so good?

00:11:06.000 Right.

00:11:06.000 Do you get that much?

00:11:07.000 All day.

00:11:09.000 24-7.

00:11:10.000 I just hold it in.

00:11:11.000 Just trying not to scream?

00:11:13.000 If you want to take a break, if you want to go up on the roof.

00:11:16.000 I'm the worst guy to talk to this about, because I don't really get depressed.

00:11:19.000 I've been depressed before.

00:11:21.000 But, answer my question, the joy question.

00:11:23.000 I'm joyful all the time.

00:11:24.000 Are you really?

00:11:25.000 So that wasn't a joke.

00:11:26.000 No, I'm pretty happy.

00:11:27.000 That's great.

00:11:28.000 Here's the good news.

00:11:28.000 You seem happy.

00:11:29.000 Yeah.

00:11:30.000 Like, I buy it.

00:11:31.000 I'm not like, Joe Rogan thinks he's happy.

00:11:33.000 You seem happy.

00:11:34.000 I have a lot of friends.

00:11:36.000 That's a big part of it.

00:11:37.000 I have a lot of cool friends.

00:11:39.000 I love having a family.

00:11:41.000 I love what I do, like my jobs.

00:11:44.000 My day is filled with stuff I enjoy doing.

00:11:49.000 I'm just lucky.

00:11:51.000 Yeah, but I have many of the same things.

00:11:54.000 I just don't feel that sense of satisfaction you have.

00:12:01.000 Now, has it varied?

00:12:02.000 Have you had higher and lower feelings of satisfaction?

00:12:06.000 Yeah, I think when I'm working a lot, I feel pretty satisfied.

00:12:09.000 Oh, okay.

00:12:10.000 So, accomplishments or task and goal oriented.

00:12:17.000 It's satisfying to do a special or direct a commercial or write a TV show.

00:12:24.000 Well, I'll tell you one thing.

00:12:25.000 I say I'm filled with joy and I'm happy all the time.

00:12:27.000 When I'm not working or I'm not accomplishing anything or if I get real lazy, I can get depressed.

00:12:34.000 Somebody else told me that.

00:12:35.000 They said that a very, very joyous guy told me when he gets injured, that takes it out of him.

00:12:41.000 It can.

00:12:42.000 I've been injured a gang of times.

00:12:45.000 I've had a bunch of surgeries from athletic injuries.

00:12:49.000 But for me, if I go into lulls, like if I'm not accomplishing things or in the past, I don't allow myself to get into those anymore because it's just not a good feeling.

00:13:00.000 And it doesn't even necessarily have to be...

00:13:04.000 Like a career-oriented thing, but I have to have things that I'm enjoying.

00:13:09.000 It could just be like I'm really into doing yoga.

00:13:11.000 So I'm doing yoga every day, and I do it, I get it done, and now I feel great.

00:13:16.000 But if I'm not doing something, my brain, for whatever reason, needs tasks.

00:13:21.000 It needs stuff to do.

00:13:22.000 It needs stuff to figure out.

00:13:24.000 It needs puzzles.

00:13:26.000 If I don't get that, I have a real issue.

00:13:29.000 Yeah, agreed.

00:13:30.000 Do you like big, long-term goals?

00:13:32.000 Yes.

00:13:32.000 It's just like, yeah, you do.

00:13:34.000 Yeah, I like things that are hard.

00:13:34.000 I tend to like micro things.

00:13:36.000 I like those too.

00:13:37.000 I like things that are due in like a week.

00:13:40.000 As opposed to something that's like, yeah, whenever you're...

00:13:42.000 Like, I'm outlining a movie right now, and I'm like, yeah!

00:13:45.000 But I wish it were more like...

00:13:46.000 Bang, bang. 0.99

00:13:47.000 Yeah, like, I'm meeting about it tomorrow, like, specifically to...

00:13:50.000 So to, like, kind of focus myself.

00:13:52.000 Like, you write a joke, and then you go up and do it tonight, and it kills.

00:13:56.000 Like, yeah.

00:13:57.000 Yeah, oh, that's...

00:13:57.000 Okay, that's something that...

00:13:59.000 That's joy.

00:14:00.000 That's pretty damn near joy, yeah. 0.98

00:14:02.000 Killing, or just writing a joke and not killing it. 0.91

00:14:03.000 Writing a joke and it kills, it's like... 0.94

00:14:07.000 That feeling, man.

00:14:08.000 Don't you wish you could give that to people who don't do stand-up?

00:14:11.000 Yep, I sure do.

00:14:13.000 It's it.

00:14:14.000 I've had this conversation with people before that don't do stand-up, and I'm like, man, I wish I could tell you what it's like to crush in front of 5,000 people.

00:14:22.000 It's like finding $100,000.

00:14:25.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:14:26.000 That's how it feels.

00:14:27.000 It feels like, oh, I just found $100,000, and you know what led me there?

00:14:32.000 My personality and my experience.

00:14:35.000 And your work ethic.

00:14:36.000 And your work ethic.

00:14:36.000 That's exactly right.

00:14:37.000 That's a big part of it.

00:14:38.000 You feel like, oh, it's so personal.

00:14:42.000 Yeah.

00:14:42.000 It feels like this could only, if it's a good joke, only you could have written it.

00:14:47.000 Well, even if other people could have written it, you wrote it.

00:14:51.000 This thing came out of the sky.

00:14:54.000 It chose you.

00:14:55.000 Yeah, it chose you.

00:14:58.000 Whatever it is.

00:14:59.000 So that I will say is like, that's a sense of euphoria.

00:15:03.000 But I think in some ways I try to kind of contain it a little bit.

00:15:08.000 In that, where I'm like, whoa, you know what I mean?

00:15:11.000 Like, this thing, I don't know what to do with this feeling.

00:15:14.000 Because it's the kind of thing where you just want to, like, go up and kiss women. 1.00

00:15:18.000 Like, hey, foot of theirs, and smack people on the ass, and like, I just fucking wrote a fucking closer. 1.00

00:15:25.000 What the fuck did you, you know what I mean? 1.00

00:15:26.000 Like, you just feel like a musical. 0.99

00:15:29.000 Tony Hinchcliffe had this new joke, and he did it, and he came off stage, like, right after he did it, and he was literally, like, Like fist pumping.

00:15:39.000 He was just so fired up because it killed.

00:15:42.000 He was so fired up.

00:15:44.000 It's like he was charged with electricity.

00:15:46.000 Yeah.

00:15:47.000 That's nice when you can allow yourself to just like...

00:15:49.000 Yeah.

00:15:50.000 And you can do it in a way that no one gets jealous or feels like you're preening yourself.

00:15:54.000 You gotta hang out with better people.

00:15:55.000 No, I don't, but we're hanging out with basically the same people.

00:15:58.000 Yeah, but I'm saying, like, if that's the problem, you know, and we've all been there before, too, like, where things are going well, and you're hanging around with someone, and they get super weird and creepy with you, and they withdraw, and you're like, oh.

00:16:09.000 Yeah, what do you, yeah, what do you just kind of like, what do you want me to, do you want me to fail?

00:16:13.000 Well, there's people that do definitely want you to fail, but what they definitely don't want you to do is highlight the fact that they're not succeeding.

00:16:20.000 Well, yeah, but that's what most people consider—a lot of people consider your success their failure.

00:16:26.000 Yeah, that's such a bizarre way of looking at it.

00:16:28.000 I know.

00:16:28.000 It's so common, though.

00:16:30.000 Like, what evolutionary benefit does that have?

00:16:33.000 Well, finite resources.

00:16:36.000 Yeah.

00:16:36.000 I think that's what it comes from.

00:16:38.000 Right.

00:16:38.000 I think it just comes from their—you know when people go, ah, there's enough jobs for everyone?

00:16:42.000 You and I both know, no, there's not.

00:16:44.000 Nope. 0.97

00:16:45.000 There's enough jobs for talented people, but if you don't feel like you're talented, then you are fucking panicked all the time. 0.75

00:16:54.000 And then it's a self-fulfilling prophecy because that sort of famine thinking is really bad for progress. 0.91

00:17:01.000 If you're a person who's really worried about other people getting things and you start thinking in a jealous manner about other people's success, that fucks up your own ability to express yourself.

00:17:12.000 Yeah.

00:17:12.000 And that fucks up your ability to succeed.

00:17:14.000 It depends on how it hits you.

00:17:16.000 It can be a motivator, I believe.

00:17:18.000 Sure, definitely. 0.99

00:17:19.000 Where you're like, fucking he got it? 0.99

00:17:21.000 You know? 1.00

00:17:22.000 I can't get whatever that is.

00:17:24.000 But it's hard to, you gotta kind of wrestle it into a positive way.

00:17:29.000 Because if you get upset that somebody else got something, then usually it's a bitter motivator and it doesn't lend itself to success.

00:17:36.000 But I don't think I've ever had something where I was like, that should have been mine!

00:17:42.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:17:42.000 Have you ever had that, where it was like a job that you were like...

00:17:47.000 Definitely when I was younger, for sure.

00:17:48.000 What sorts of things were they?

00:17:50.000 I'm sure looking back, they're absurd.

00:17:51.000 Yeah, absurd.

00:17:52.000 Things that I didn't deserve.

00:17:54.000 You know, like someone else getting a television show, or someone else headlining a certain place.

00:18:00.000 For comics, it's not a finite situation.

00:18:05.000 There's a limited amount of resources.

00:18:08.000 There's so many different clubs, and there's so many different topics, and there's so many different jobs.

00:18:13.000 I think that's one of the reasons why comics are so ruthless when it comes to plagiarism. 0.96

00:18:18.000 Because, like, say if you have a really unique idea, and this idea has come to you from the universe, and you're sketching it out and putting it together, and some fucker comes in and sees this and says, ah, I can fucking snag that. 0.82

00:18:30.000 I've started looking at jokes as inventions. 0.99

00:18:33.000 And it's like, you stole my fucking invention. 1.00

00:18:36.000 That's my invention, dude. 1.00

00:18:38.000 My inventions are word inventions.

00:18:40.000 Or premise inventions or whatever.

00:18:43.000 So it's intellectual property.

00:18:45.000 You know that that's mine.

00:18:48.000 So to steal it is worse than plagiarism.

00:18:51.000 It's like copyright infringement.

00:18:53.000 It's both.

00:18:54.000 Yeah, it's like...

00:18:57.000 It's unforgivable.

00:18:58.000 It also cuts in and creates that weird, competitive, finite resources mentality.

00:19:06.000 Yeah.

00:19:06.000 It creates it.

00:19:07.000 It creates like a mindfuck. 0.95

00:19:08.000 Yeah.

00:19:08.000 Because then all of a sudden you start thinking, like, oh, well, this is not like a community of like-minded people that are supporting each other.

00:19:17.000 There's like some parasites in here. 0.98

00:19:19.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00

00:19:19.000 And there's some vampires. 1.00

00:19:21.000 It's people with different standards, because we all more or less have...

00:19:25.000 I don't know if it's learned in the comedy community, or we all come into it with certain standards, but there is that thing of, like, there's an acceptable...

00:19:35.000 You know what I mean?

00:19:36.000 Like, it's almost like not closing with a super dirty joke if the person after you isn't a dirty comic.

00:19:41.000 You know what I mean?

00:19:42.000 Especially if you care about them.

00:19:43.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:19:44.000 Yeah.

00:19:44.000 There's certain unwritten rules that you want to, like...

00:19:47.000 Comradery.

00:19:47.000 Yes.

00:19:47.000 Yeah.

00:19:48.000 That you don't want to fuck people over. 0.99

00:19:49.000 And then when somebody else does some shit like that, and you're like... 1.00

00:19:52.000 Wait a minute. 0.99

00:19:54.000 But the way I thought of it, it's like, let's write another one. 0.99

00:19:58.000 I mean, obviously it's the worst and it's unforgivable, but I've had people steal shit from me. 0.99

00:20:03.000 Yeah, it's gonna happen. 0.99

00:20:04.000 But it fucks up the best part about stand-up.

00:20:07.000 Like last night at the store, I was hanging around with Stanhope and Michael Kosta and all these guys.

00:20:14.000 We're just laughing and hanging around.

00:20:16.000 There's a cool camaraderie.

00:20:17.000 Costa's been great lately.

00:20:18.000 Michael Costa's been hit astride. 0.99

00:20:20.000 The kind of jokes he's writing are fucking great. 0.98

00:20:22.000 Very funny guy and really nice guy, too. 0.97

00:20:24.000 Yeah, such a sweet guy.

00:20:26.000 But that place is filled with that kind of cool camaraderie.

00:20:30.000 That's the point to me.

00:20:32.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:20:33.000 That's really the fun of it.

00:20:36.000 Like, what you've done with, like, your people and other comics and, like, your group, whatever you want to call it.

00:20:43.000 But, like, that's the point of, like, that's my favorite part of it.

00:20:47.000 And there's no close second.

00:20:49.000 It's not money.

00:20:51.000 It's literally, like, a vibe.

00:20:53.000 And it's connecting with somebody.

00:20:54.000 Yeah, I agree.

00:20:55.000 It's all hugs.

00:20:57.000 You know, you go to the store on any given night, it's all hugs.

00:21:00.000 It's all a bunch of guys that appreciate each other and girls, you know, people who are really funny, get together.

00:21:05.000 And that place right now, it's hotter than it's ever been.

00:21:09.000 Last night, Tuesday night, sold out, just packed.

00:21:13.000 Main room, original room, and belly room.

00:21:16.000 Packed.

00:21:16.000 Yeah.

00:21:17.000 It's crazy.

00:21:18.000 And by the way, it should be.

00:21:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:21:20.000 The shows are fucking bananas. 0.99

00:21:22.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:21:23.000 The shows at the Comedy Store are fundraisers anywhere else in the world.

00:21:26.000 Yeah.

00:21:27.000 But here, it's just like, you know...

00:21:28.000 Ron White, Joey Diaz, Duncan Trussell, Ari Shafir. 0.98

00:21:31.000 I mean, it's fucking crazy. 0.97

00:21:32.000 The lineup's bang, bang, bang. 0.99

00:21:33.000 You just see killer after killer. 1.00

00:21:35.000 Ian Edwards, like, holy shit. 0.99

00:21:36.000 Yeah, Jesselnik. 0.99

00:21:38.000 Yeah, oh my god, all the time.

00:21:40.000 The lineups are amazing, but it's also the feel.

00:21:43.000 You feel like, man, I think we are in a golden era.

00:21:47.000 It feels like, wow, we're really lucky to be here right now.

00:21:51.000 Yeah, I mean, yeah.

00:21:52.000 There are guys like you that almost created it in a way, by going back to the store and by validating it, and then your fans go, and then it's a self-fulfilling thing.

00:22:01.000 But yeah, it definitely feels like...

00:22:03.000 I don't know what...

00:22:04.000 I feel like, although, did you watch the roast?

00:22:06.000 The roast battle?

00:22:06.000 Yeah.

00:22:07.000 I thought it was fucking great. 0.96

00:22:08.000 I didn't watch it on Comedy Central. 0.99

00:22:10.000 Oh, no.

00:22:10.000 I was in part of it, I think.

00:22:12.000 In Montreal?

00:22:13.000 No, I was in the part that was in the belly room, where they filmed it.

00:22:16.000 Oh, they did a special that I didn't watch.

00:22:18.000 There's the five parts that they did for Montreal, and it was great.

00:22:22.000 I heard it was really good.

00:22:23.000 It was great.

00:22:24.000 I heard Ralphie May.

00:22:25.000 Yeah, Ralphie.

00:22:26.000 I heard he took a beating.

00:22:27.000 Yeah, he saw his...

00:22:28.000 But again, the thing with...

00:22:30.000 I saw his soul.

00:22:31.000 He saw his entire career flash in front of his eyes.

00:22:34.000 But what do you expect... 0.98

00:22:36.000 When you're doing a roast, it's like, I know if I do a roast, people are gonna fucking kill me on Chappelle. 0.98

00:22:42.000 Right. 0.98

00:22:43.000 Repeatedly.

00:22:44.000 Right, of course.

00:22:45.000 So now I'm just like, alright, let's judge this level of how hard you're gonna hit me.

00:22:48.000 Yeah.

00:22:49.000 So, Ralphie got hit on a Wade joke, which is like...

00:22:52.000 Wade and his divorce, his family.

00:22:54.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:22:54.000 Oh, right.

00:22:55.000 That's hardcore.

00:22:56.000 Yeah.

00:22:57.000 Family, like, left him.

00:22:59.000 Yeah.

00:22:59.000 So he's alone.

00:23:00.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:23:01.000 He's fat. 0.99

00:23:02.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:23:03.000 Depressed.

00:23:03.000 Yeah.

00:23:04.000 And then someone just kept teeing off on him.

00:23:06.000 Who was he roasting?

00:23:08.000 Was it Mike Lawrence?

00:23:10.000 Mike Lawrence, who won, is really funny.

00:23:13.000 Yeah.

00:23:13.000 He's a really funny dude.

00:23:14.000 But apparently, Ralphie just didn't take it so well.

00:23:17.000 Yeah.

00:23:18.000 Well, I'm happy he didn't take a swing at him.

00:23:20.000 Was it that close?

00:23:21.000 It was like, you know, it had that, even on TV, it was that feeling of like, oh, I could see this going a certain way. 1.00

00:23:30.000 Fuck, man. 0.99

00:23:30.000 I don't want to do that. 0.99

00:23:31.000 I don't want to say that to people.

00:23:33.000 I don't want to say anything that's going to make somebody, I definitely don't want anybody saying that to me that's going to make me feel like that.

00:23:38.000 What's funny is there's a zoom in on Ralphie's face, and as you're watching it, you're like, did they zoom in or did I zoom in?

00:23:47.000 Like, wait a minute.

00:23:49.000 Did I imagine that zoom in, or did they do that?

00:23:52.000 Oh, Christ. 1.00

00:23:54.000 That is a goddamn brutal show. 1.00

00:23:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:23:57.000 But good for comedy, man.

00:23:58.000 Really good for comedy.

00:23:59.000 Yeah, it's a good format.

00:24:00.000 It's a cool format.

00:24:01.000 They figured out a new format.

00:24:03.000 Great joke writer format.

00:24:04.000 Yeah.

00:24:05.000 It's fair.

00:24:06.000 It's literally just head-to-head.

00:24:08.000 And it rewards good jokes.

00:24:09.000 They laugh at the...

00:24:10.000 It's like...

00:24:12.000 Madison Square Garden, they say people know basketball there.

00:24:15.000 NBA players say people know basketball.

00:24:17.000 That's how it feels at the roast battle.

00:24:19.000 People know comedy, and they reward high level of difficulty jokes.

00:24:25.000 Yes, I agree.

00:24:26.000 And also, I think one of the things that roast battle is really good for comedy is it's pushing the boundaries of acceptable jokes.

00:24:34.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:24:34.000 And this is a weird time where people are fucking... 0.97

00:24:38.000 You know, this whole idea about punching up. 0.99

00:24:41.000 There's so much horseshit involved in what is and is not acceptable in stand-up today.

00:24:47.000 And it's a bunch of people that are trying to control behavior and thinking. 0.78

00:24:51.000 And that just doesn't fly in that world.

00:24:54.000 It's the pushback.

00:24:55.000 What Roast Battle is, is the pushback to this PC era that we're in right now.

00:24:59.000 If they could prove to me...

00:25:02.000 That joking leads to action, I would pay more attention.

00:25:08.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:25:09.000 What doesn't?

00:25:10.000 I know, but if they could say, yeah, Hitler made a lot of jokes about invading Austria.

00:25:15.000 He used to do tons of bits about Austria.

00:25:18.000 And then eventually he brought the hammer down.

00:25:21.000 Like, if you could prove some sort of, you know, the A and B, A plus B equals C, then yeah, then it's like, okay, I agree. 0.97

00:25:29.000 But you also know that racism and all that shit is like, it ain't about joking.

00:25:35.000 It's about like, A, it's about, a lot of times it's about poverty, it's about class, it's so many other things that aren't necessarily comedy. 0.98

00:25:44.000 Yeah, and even a poverty of ideas.

00:25:46.000 I mean, it's a thought process poverty.

00:25:49.000 It's poor thinking.

00:25:50.000 I mean, that's what racism really is. 0.98

00:25:52.000 And what jokes are is, like, you know that there's a certain amount of racism, and you play on it, and there's a wink as you're doing it, like, in a joke form, and there's some racist shit that people can say to each other in that joke battle or the roast battle. 0.99

00:26:09.000 That is fucking hilarious. 0.99

00:26:11.000 Yes. 1.00

00:26:12.000 Yeah, there were black people who can't swim. 1.00

00:26:13.000 I mean, there were 9-11 off the fucking... 1.00

00:26:16.000 Tons of 9-11 jokes. 0.99

00:26:18.000 George Perez and Sarah Tiana were roasting, and Sarah Tiana was roasting him about... 1.00

00:26:22.000 Sarah Tiana is insanely good at that shit. 1.00

00:26:24.000 She's amazing. 1.00

00:26:25.000 She's like one of those things where it's like someone can talk real fast somewhere. 1.00

00:26:28.000 You're like, I didn't even know you could do this shit. 0.99

00:26:30.000 Like, she's like double-jointed or something. 1.00

00:26:32.000 Like, wait, what?

00:26:33.000 Sarah, you can do the splits?

00:26:35.000 All right.

00:26:36.000 It comes off even crazier because she's so sweet.

00:26:39.000 Yeah.

00:26:39.000 And she's got this smiling, pretty face.

00:26:42.000 Which I believe!

00:26:43.000 Yes!

00:26:43.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:26:44.000 Like, there is no hatred in her roast.

00:26:46.000 No.

00:26:47.000 But she knows where the soft spots are.

00:26:50.000 Yeah.

00:26:50.000 And that's where she sticks the blade.

00:26:53.000 Yeah, and dude, she came in second. 1.00

00:26:55.000 She just kind of ran out of steam.

00:26:58.000 They'd write a lot of jokes.

00:27:00.000 Oh yeah, man.

00:27:00.000 It's brutal.

00:27:02.000 So yeah, but congrats to Sarah. 0.91

00:27:05.000 So Hinchcliffe did it with a suit of armor on?

00:27:08.000 Yes, and would have won. 0.80

00:27:12.000 But fucked up his last joke, maybe? 0.83

00:27:15.000 It was really close. 0.97

00:27:17.000 And his last joke was a clanker.

00:27:19.000 I think his first joke and his last joke. 1.00

00:27:21.000 But Hinchcliffe's good at that shit, too. 1.00

00:27:23.000 Oh, he's really good at it. 1.00

00:27:25.000 Hinchcliffe is mean.

00:27:26.000 He knows how to get after it.

00:27:28.000 Certain guys you can tell, he means what he says.

00:27:32.000 He's up there, he's doing a documentary.

00:27:34.000 He's not...

00:27:36.000 He's doing a documentary about his thoughts.

00:27:38.000 It's not a lot of like, there's art to it, but it's like, oh, this is all based on a true story.

00:27:41.000 Yeah.

00:27:42.000 Well, I'm just happy that Comedy Central has taken, that's a big chance.

00:27:46.000 And they've taken quite a few big chances recently.

00:27:48.000 Like, I think with Ari Shaffir's show, this is not happening.

00:27:52.000 Yeah.

00:27:52.000 That was a big chance.

00:27:53.000 And that show is really racy, really out there. 0.98

00:27:57.000 Some of the stories are fucking completely outrageous. 0.94

00:28:00.000 So they've got that. 0.97

00:28:01.000 And then they're taking chances with this as well.

00:28:05.000 And it's off the beaten path.

00:28:07.000 This is a new thing.

00:28:08.000 This is not like another guy's doing a talk show.

00:28:12.000 Oh, great.

00:28:13.000 I think they're following the sort of what's working live.

00:28:16.000 Yes.

00:28:17.000 And smartly going, how do we televise it?

00:28:19.000 Because the truth about Comedy Central is the ratings are so bad at this point that they, relative to what they were, that I think they're like, it's Kent Alterman just going like, I like that.

00:28:31.000 Let's do that.

00:28:32.000 Right.

00:28:32.000 And leaving shows on that are not particularly highly rated because he likes it.

00:28:37.000 If they do that, though, I think that's the right way to go.

00:28:39.000 If they just find what people actually enjoy, like L.A. right now has a comedy scene, a big comedy scene, and Roast Battle is one of the highlights of the comedy scene.

00:28:49.000 Everybody goes to see it, man. 0.99

00:28:51.000 Last night, there's a fucking line. 1.00

00:28:53.000 Rose Bell started at midnight. 1.00

00:28:54.000 I got there at 10, and the line was already around the fucking outside of the patio of the store. 0.96

00:29:00.000 All waiting to get in. 0.94

00:29:01.000 Yeah, because I think people didn't know about it until this week, literally, the TV show.

00:29:05.000 Because of the show.

00:29:06.000 That definitely had an impact.

00:29:08.000 But it's cool to see.

00:29:09.000 It's cool.

00:29:10.000 That's great.

00:29:10.000 It's fair.

00:29:11.000 Yeah.

00:29:12.000 That's what it is. 0.99

00:29:12.000 It's like, okay, this is fucking... 0.99

00:29:14.000 There's a little goddamn justice right here. 0.99

00:29:16.000 Like, a funny thing that people were doing live. 0.97

00:29:19.000 And I think, like, famous people judges helps.

00:29:22.000 But, like, for the most part, it's just...

00:29:23.000 It's funny to watch.

00:29:24.000 It's fun to watch these people go head-to-head.

00:29:26.000 I heard that Whoopi Goldberg was awful.

00:29:30.000 She was just, like...

00:29:32.000 Why are you making that face?

00:29:33.000 Yeah, I would agree.

00:29:36.000 Whoopi was never like a comic, do you know what I mean?

00:29:39.000 Well, Whoopi was a comic, but it wasn't really real.

00:29:43.000 Not like a club comic.

00:29:45.000 She did it.

00:29:45.000 Yeah, but to me, she did that one-woman show, which was in a theater, was not stand-up, and then she did Comic Relief, where she was doing a monologue with two other dudes.

00:29:55.000 I'm pretty sure she did comedy clubs, too.

00:29:57.000 Okay, maybe.

00:29:58.000 I'm pretty sure I saw her.

00:30:00.000 Sometimes, Joe, things pass you by. 0.97

00:30:04.000 And, uh, certain, certain shit, it's like, you kinda... 0.97

00:30:08.000 Well, when she was going back and forth with Jesselnik, and she said, I have Oscars? 0.99

00:30:12.000 Yeah, she's like, all the shit I got, and Jesselnik was like, a bunch of shit from the 80s? 0.99

00:30:17.000 Which is like... 0.99

00:30:18.000 Well, that doesn't make you funny, either.

00:30:20.000 Oh, exactly.

00:30:21.000 It's like, yeah, you brought an Oscar to a comedy show.

00:30:25.000 Not only that, it's the opposite of being funny.

00:30:28.000 Like, talking about your accomplishments is the opposite of, like, a good comeback.

00:30:34.000 Yeah.

00:30:34.000 Somebody said they were in an argument with somebody, and the person goes, I have a million dollars!

00:30:41.000 I'm just like, okay, buy your way out of this fucking conversation. 1.00

00:30:44.000 Well, if someone calls you a loser, you're a fucking loser, and you're like, well, I'm actually one. 1.00

00:30:50.000 Yeah, there are, no, I'm not saying you should never bring up having a million dollars. 1.00

00:30:55.000 Like if someone says, you broke, bitch. 1.00

00:30:56.000 Yeah, you broke, motherfucker. 1.00

00:30:57.000 Yeah, you can't be like, I actually have a lot of money, so you can't say that. 1.00

00:31:01.000 Yeah, there are certain things in which I've succeeded.

00:31:05.000 So yeah, but The Sourceman, it's cool.

00:31:08.000 It's magical again.

00:31:09.000 Well, not even that again.

00:31:11.000 I've been there on and off for 20 plus years.

00:31:14.000 It's never been as good as it is now.

00:31:16.000 No.

00:31:16.000 And it's because it's the right way.

00:31:18.000 Adam's booking good people.

00:31:19.000 He's not booking...

00:31:20.000 He's not booking like...

00:31:24.000 Viruses.

00:31:25.000 Do you know what I mean? 0.71

00:31:25.000 He's not booking people that when you're on the show with them, you're like, how the fuck am I only getting two spots? 0.71

00:31:30.000 Or how am I only getting four spots and this guy's getting three?

00:31:33.000 Whatever.

00:31:33.000 Like where you see a guy that just kind of is a bummer comedically.

00:31:37.000 Like that has no merit.

00:31:38.000 Right.

00:31:39.000 That has no merit whatsoever comedically.

00:31:41.000 They used to have that because I think there was just a lot of people left over from like the 80s.

00:31:45.000 Yeah.

00:31:46.000 There was some weird...

00:31:47.000 A lot of legacy acts.

00:31:49.000 Yeah, that's a good way to put it.

00:31:51.000 Yeah.

00:31:52.000 But now there's young people coming up that are really funny.

00:31:56.000 There's guys like Ron White, who are really established, who love hanging out there now.

00:32:01.000 Ron's there all the time now.

00:32:02.000 And it's cool.

00:32:03.000 He's like a part of the community now.

00:32:05.000 Yeah, you're there a lot.

00:32:06.000 Burr's there a lot.

00:32:08.000 Jesselnik's there a lot.

00:32:09.000 Dave when he's in town.

00:32:10.000 Yeah, Chappelle, Louie.

00:32:12.000 And that back bar, too. 0.99

00:32:13.000 God damn, we were at the back bar last night. 0.99

00:32:15.000 I'm like, how fun is this place? 0.99

00:32:17.000 It just makes you feel like tingly when you're there.

00:32:20.000 Yeah, you do.

00:32:21.000 It feels like you're in a movie about this time.

00:32:24.000 Yeah.

00:32:25.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.88

00:32:27.000 It's fucking awesome, man. 0.59

00:32:28.000 It's awesome. 0.92

00:32:30.000 Yeah, so I did that.

00:32:33.000 So the ketamine, I will say I cannot recommend.

00:32:38.000 But you recommended for one session? 1.00

00:32:41.000 Look, ketamine as a drug is interesting as fuck. 0.99

00:32:44.000 The thing that I felt the day I saw you may have just been that LSD hangover-like feeling. 0.99

00:32:50.000 That hangover of where you're not hungover, but you're not yourself.

00:32:56.000 You feel that high-pitched clarity.

00:32:59.000 Right.

00:33:00.000 That squeak.

00:33:02.000 But beyond that, it just became...

00:33:04.000 Now, I complained to the guy, and he said, you're the only person who's ever felt like this.

00:33:09.000 The fogginess?

00:33:10.000 Yeah.

00:33:12.000 And a little nausea as well. 0.98

00:33:15.000 How great are those balls, by the way? 0.95

00:33:16.000 They're awesome. 0.96

00:33:17.000 Yeah, amazing.

00:33:18.000 This is a WOD workout of the day, I think they call it.

00:33:22.000 WOD Supernova.

00:33:23.000 This is the tiny one.

00:33:24.000 This is a little one.

00:33:25.000 The big one is actually even better.

00:33:27.000 Yeah.

00:33:27.000 But you stick it on your back when you're sitting down.

00:33:29.000 Oh, yeah.

00:33:29.000 You can use it on your head ever.

00:33:31.000 No.

00:33:31.000 My head?

00:33:32.000 Dude, you got shit in your head. 1.00

00:33:34.000 You got muscles in your head you don't even know. 1.00

00:33:36.000 Bro, you got muscles you don't even know about, bro.

00:33:38.000 Bro, my head is yoked.

00:33:40.000 Bro, everybody knows that about you. 1.00

00:33:43.000 My fucking head is ripped, bro. 1.00

00:33:44.000 I bet you have, like, weird shit up there. 1.00

00:33:48.000 So yeah, so I did the ketamine, can't recommend it. 0.99

00:33:51.000 Then I tried something called TMS, which is short for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation.

00:33:58.000 Joe, I've got a video and it's going to be full frame.

00:34:02.000 Send it to Jamie, he'll put it up on the big screen.

00:34:04.000 Oh yeah, how do I send it?

00:34:08.000 Yeah, that's probably the best way.

00:34:10.000 Okay, hold on.

00:34:13.000 So, I've been really interested in this idea of stimulation, the outside of your brain, after listening to a Radiolab podcast called Nine Volt Nirvana.

00:34:23.000 Is that the memory one?

00:34:25.000 No, it's one where they're talking about skill acquisition.

00:34:28.000 Okay, yeah, that's what I mean, with the sharpshooter.

00:34:31.000 Yes.

00:34:32.000 Yes.

00:34:32.000 This is too big to send to you.

00:34:34.000 Oh.

00:34:35.000 But if you send it through Google, it'll go to Google Drive, and they'll upload to him with the password.

00:34:40.000 Thank you.

00:34:42.000 Guy's got a muscly head. 1.00

00:34:44.000 Yo, my fucking head. 1.00

00:34:45.000 He knows things. 1.00

00:34:46.000 My head is powerlifting.

00:34:48.000 I remember when I was a kid, they did this CAT scan on Marvelous Marvin Hagler.

00:34:54.000 Marvin Hagler, who was one of the greatest boxers of all time, had very large muscles around his temples.

00:35:02.000 Like extraordinarily large.

00:35:05.000 Like not just a little bit bigger than everybody else's, but like two or three times larger than the average person.

00:35:12.000 Like essentially he has headgear.

00:35:13.000 You can see he had veins.

00:35:14.000 Yeah, he had like thick veins that I remember.

00:35:16.000 Yeah, he had headgear.

00:35:18.000 He essentially had muscle headgear around his temples, like in the side of his head. 0.99

00:35:23.000 And they were like, what in the fuck? 0.98

00:35:25.000 And they didn't know if this was something that was developed from years of biting down on a mouthpiece. 0.99

00:35:31.000 And there's a lot of guys that did a bunch of different exercises for their jaw itself.

00:35:36.000 Like, I remember Jerry Cooney had a thing that he put in his mouth.

00:35:39.000 It was like a thick rubber cable that had, like... 0.99

00:35:47.000 You know what's funny about boxing shit? 1.00

00:35:50.000 Is that shit doesn't make you fear the guy a little bit more? 1.00

00:35:54.000 Like, he'll use fucking tape, bro. 1.00

00:35:56.000 He don't give a fuck, bro. 1.00

00:35:57.000 He's chewing on tape, bro. 1.00

00:35:59.000 He's chewing on tape over there, bro.

00:36:01.000 So guys, they were actually lifting weights with their jaw.

00:36:05.000 Which makes sense.

00:36:06.000 I mean, you could power lift with your jaw.

00:36:09.000 Some guys chew gum, too.

00:36:10.000 That was another thing they would do. 1.00

00:36:11.000 They'd get like a stack of bazooka, like that bubble gum that turns into cement after you chew it for a couple minutes, and they just take that shit and... 0.98

00:36:18.000 Which totally makes sense, because if your jaw is loose and weak... 0.97

00:36:26.000 And if you look at guys with big jaws, like a guy like a Mark Hunt or something like that.

00:36:30.000 That's another thing.

00:36:31.000 Rub the ball on your jaw, you're not going to believe how rough and...

00:36:38.000 I have a knot in my jaw right now. 1.00

00:36:41.000 Suck a lot of cock. 1.00

00:36:42.000 Not a ton, but enough to get by. 1.00

00:36:47.000 You gotta do what you gotta do.

00:36:48.000 You know what I mean?

00:36:49.000 I want spots.

00:36:50.000 Whenever I get a massage and then they work your head, I get so excited.

00:36:54.000 I'm like, yeah, I rub my head.

00:36:56.000 It feels so good.

00:36:57.000 My daughter was rubbing my head the other day. 0.66

00:36:59.000 She's like, does this feel good?

00:37:00.000 I said, actually, that feels really good.

00:37:02.000 Yeah.

00:37:02.000 And you immediately become an eight-year-old boy.

00:37:04.000 Really?

00:37:05.000 What are you doing?

00:37:06.000 Oh, my head.

00:37:08.000 It feels so good to rub my head.

00:37:13.000 Yeah, it feels good.

00:37:14.000 It's an area like your feet.

00:37:15.000 Like, it feels good to get your feet rubbed.

00:37:17.000 It feels good to get your hands rubbed.

00:37:18.000 You ever get your hands massaged?

00:37:19.000 Yeah.

00:37:20.000 You would think, that hand's not going to feel good.

00:37:22.000 Like, you shake someone's hand, it doesn't feel anything.

00:37:24.000 But if someone, like, rubs your hand, they start pulling your fingers, and they make them pop and stuff, and they massage your palms and the tips of your fingers and all the little connective muscles and all the tissue in between the fingers.

00:37:38.000 It feels great.

00:37:39.000 Yeah.

00:37:40.000 I need to get a massage.

00:37:41.000 I haven't gotten a massage in forever.

00:37:43.000 Really?

00:37:43.000 You strike me as a guy that would get a massage three days a week?

00:37:45.000 I used to get them all the time.

00:37:46.000 It's been too busy.

00:37:47.000 It's been a month at least.

00:37:50.000 Yeah.

00:37:50.000 Maybe more.

00:37:51.000 Maybe two months.

00:37:52.000 I used to get them all the time.

00:37:53.000 But I get them.

00:37:54.000 I get a guy who does a lot of rolfing.

00:37:57.000 He uses a metal bar on me and digs it into my muscle.

00:38:00.000 My nose?

00:38:01.000 Yeah.

00:38:01.000 What?

00:38:02.000 That's what rolfing.

00:38:03.000 Apparently, they go up your sinuses.

00:38:04.000 No.

00:38:05.000 I've never seen it. 1.00

00:38:06.000 Bro, they fuck with your brain, bro. 1.00

00:38:07.000 Yo, bro! 1.00

00:38:08.000 They massage your fucking brain, bro! 1.00

00:38:09.000 Bro, I'm saying. 1.00

00:38:11.000 Yeah, rolfing, they're supposed to go all that shit. 1.00

00:38:14.000 Whoa. 1.00

00:38:14.000 Your sinuses? 1.00

00:38:15.000 Yeah.

00:38:16.000 All right.

00:38:17.000 Incoming.

00:38:17.000 Makes me nervous.

00:38:19.000 Yeah, so this TMS thing, transcranial magnetic stimulation, covered by Blue Cross.

00:38:25.000 Huh.

00:38:25.000 Yeah.

00:38:27.000 So, yeah, that's what, like, it was really, really good.

00:38:31.000 Like, I, for a lot of my life, I felt like I had a...

00:38:35.000 All right?

00:38:36.000 I had, like, a thing.

00:38:39.000 Like, it almost felt like a metal...

00:38:41.000 Weight, like a bit of like five pound weight on my upper left forehead, my left.

00:38:47.000 And then, so I went to this.

00:38:50.000 Whoa, dude.

00:38:52.000 That sound is like an MRI sound.

00:38:55.000 Yeah, that's what it is.

00:38:56.000 It is?

00:38:57.000 Yes, it's basically the same exact magnet as an MRI. But it's just glued to your head.

00:39:01.000 Yeah, they put it on your head.

00:39:03.000 It's pretty simple.

00:39:04.000 The first time they measure it, they have to get to like the exact spot.

00:39:07.000 There's another video where my finger is pulsing that you'll enjoy.

00:39:10.000 And what is it doing to you?

00:39:12.000 Like, what's the benefit?

00:39:14.000 It's basically magnetizing and electrifying.

00:39:18.000 It's waking up, basically, dead synapses, according to them.

00:39:25.000 Really?

00:39:26.000 Yeah.

00:39:26.000 So it's waking up dead synapses.

00:39:29.000 Waking them up.

00:39:32.000 So they're dormant?

00:39:34.000 That's what they say.

00:39:36.000 You don't even look into it. 0.97

00:39:37.000 You're like, go ahead, shoot me out.

00:39:38.000 Yeah, what is it? 1.00

00:39:40.000 Can I do kill me and end this at the same time? 0.98

00:39:42.000 I mean, I don't have kids, man. 1.00

00:39:44.000 So I'm like, yeah, I don't give a shit. 0.98

00:39:45.000 Whatever it's going to cost me, I'm happy to do it. 0.99

00:39:48.000 If you had kids, you think you wouldn't do it?

00:39:50.000 I think if I had kids, I'd be like, you know, sort of more cautious about it.

00:39:56.000 Really?

00:39:56.000 Yeah, probably.

00:39:57.000 Because I'm not like reckless, but I'm not like...

00:40:02.000 I do research.

00:40:03.000 It's also vague anyway, the research.

00:40:06.000 It's also like, we think it does this.

00:40:08.000 Most antidepressants, they think they know what's happening.

00:40:12.000 They don't actually know.

00:40:13.000 Yeah, that's a weird one.

00:40:15.000 Yeah.

00:40:16.000 When you think about how many people are prescribed these things, and then there's not really a direct understanding of how it impacts each person.

00:40:24.000 Like, they'll tell you, hey, we'll try this medication, and if it doesn't work, we'll try another one.

00:40:28.000 Yeah.

00:40:29.000 Does this one work for you?

00:40:30.000 We'll just cycle through it.

00:40:31.000 And how do you know if it's working for you or if you're having a good time in your life and so you're feeling better because maybe you started a new relationship and a new job and it's going well and hey, everything seems pretty good.

00:40:43.000 Dude, I was on medications that made me nauseous for a year and a half before I was like, you know what?

00:40:49.000 I literally thought I was nauseous because I was eating too many Lifesavers. 0.97

00:40:52.000 Not even fucking kidding. 0.96

00:40:54.000 Literally, I was like, I gotta take it easy on these Lifesavers because every night I throw up on the way to the Laugh Factory. 0.97

00:41:01.000 And then I realized, like, you know, Neil, you're taking a pretty high dosage of Zoloft.

00:41:06.000 You might want to just take it down a notch.

00:41:08.000 That Zoloft stuff is supposed to be really weird for your discerning of what matters and what doesn't matter.

00:41:15.000 Like, Like, it's hard to...

00:41:17.000 I've never done it, so it's hard for me to describe it, but the people that I've talked to that have done it said one of the issues that they had with it is nothing had...

00:41:27.000 The bad things didn't feel bad anymore, but the good things didn't feel good either.

00:41:32.000 Well, that's the thing with a lot of antidepressants is they raise the floor and they also lower the ceiling so that it narrows your band of experience, basically.

00:41:44.000 Whew.

00:41:44.000 Which, but if you're severely depressed, it can be very...

00:41:48.000 Like, ketamine, apparently, is a lifesaver, truly, for...

00:41:52.000 They may start administering it in emergency rooms for suicide cases.

00:41:58.000 Really?

00:41:59.000 Yeah, because it does...

00:42:00.000 I mean, it's basically a hallucinogen.

00:42:03.000 So, you know hallucinogens will make you, like...

00:42:05.000 Yeah.

00:42:06.000 See things differently.

00:42:07.000 So they're starting to...

00:42:09.000 At least they're talking about administering it as a sort of almost like a...

00:42:16.000 Whatever that drug is that you can do.

00:42:18.000 Almost like an EpiPen for...

00:42:20.000 For suicide victims or suicide...

00:42:23.000 Thought thinkers.

00:42:24.000 Thinkers.

00:42:25.000 Yeah.

00:42:25.000 About to do it.

00:42:26.000 Yeah.

00:42:28.000 So the TMS, Transcranial Magnetic Simulation, half an hour of that doesn't feel like much. 0.97

00:42:37.000 Feels like a shitty woodpecker. 1.00

00:42:41.000 Like a fucking sleepy woodpecker is sort of going at your head. 1.00

00:42:45.000 But you're not like, hey, get out of here. 1.00

00:42:46.000 You're just kind of like, okay, okay.

00:42:48.000 How much longer?

00:42:49.000 And I would just sit there and watch TV. And how many times are you supposed to do it?

00:42:54.000 You do it 40 times.

00:42:56.000 4-0?

00:42:56.000 4-0 times half an hour.

00:42:59.000 And how deep are you in right now?

00:43:00.000 I'm done.

00:43:01.000 You did all 40?

00:43:02.000 Yeah, I did all 40 in the fall.

00:43:04.000 Wow.

00:43:05.000 And I'm telling you, it lasted.

00:43:07.000 And you can go back for sort of pick-me-ups whenever you feel like you need it.

00:43:16.000 So I'm telling you, this is the thing that has worked best for me.

00:43:20.000 Better than ketamine?

00:43:21.000 Way better than Zoloft. 0.99

00:43:23.000 I was on what's an SSRI, a strategic selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, and went off it once I did this magnet shit. 0.95

00:43:36.000 So you're off everything? 0.98

00:43:37.000 Yeah.

00:43:37.000 Wow!

00:43:38.000 And you feel great?

00:43:39.000 Yeah.

00:43:40.000 Just no joy?

00:43:41.000 Well, no joy.

00:43:42.000 If you never had it, you didn't lose nothing.

00:43:47.000 I just look at you, you kids have fun.

00:43:49.000 I'll be over here with no joy.

00:43:51.000 Yeah, but I'm not miserable.

00:43:52.000 And also, there's no physical manifestation.

00:43:55.000 That's the biggest thing.

00:43:56.000 The head thing, the feeling like there was a plate on my head, getting rid of that was really, really, really great.

00:44:04.000 So when you say like a plate on your head, like there was a pressure?

00:44:07.000 Yeah, I have a little weight.

00:44:09.000 A little weight and a little pressure.

00:44:11.000 Did you get nervous that there was something in there?

00:44:13.000 No, because there were times where I'd go off of antidepressants and I'd have my jaw muscles and muscles in my temple would be so tight that I'd need to use like a massager on them.

00:44:25.000 So I knew that it was all sort of connected.

00:44:30.000 You got your ding on.

00:44:32.000 Was that me?

00:44:34.000 Pretty sure.

00:44:34.000 Bro, is that my ding?

00:44:35.000 Unless it's me.

00:44:36.000 Might have been your ding, bro.

00:44:38.000 Might have been me, bro.

00:44:40.000 Yep.

00:44:40.000 Yeah, it's your ding.

00:44:41.000 Fucking dork. 1.00

00:44:44.000 So that was a big one. 1.00

00:44:46.000 That was really helpful.

00:44:48.000 Then I did...

00:44:49.000 I was in New York for a couple months, did that show, Three Mics, which I think I told you the premise.

00:44:55.000 Yeah, you told me, but say it on here.

00:44:57.000 So the premise is, on stage, I put three mics, equidistant, apart from each other, One is for stand-up.

00:45:05.000 One is for one-liners that I just couldn't fit anywhere. 0.96

00:45:09.000 And then one is for true sort of emotional confession-y type shit. 0.98

00:45:15.000 Talking about depression. 0.99

00:45:17.000 Talking about... 1.00

00:45:18.000 Shit with my dad. 1.00

00:45:23.000 I won't spoil the surprise, but pretty heavy shit between me and my dad when he died, or right before he died. 1.00

00:45:30.000 And then the second monologue is about... 0.98

00:45:34.000 Kind of about like celebrity and dealing with having a partner and then breaking up and becoming my own guy and all that shit.

00:45:44.000 So it's basically like it ends up being probably 40 minutes of stand-up, 45 of stand-up and a half hour of true stories.

00:45:51.000 And then five minutes of one-liners.

00:45:54.000 And did you do it after you had completed your treatment?

00:45:57.000 I did it, yes.

00:45:59.000 I did it after, yeah.

00:46:00.000 And in the middle of it, I actually stopped taking everything.

00:46:02.000 In the middle of recording or practicing?

00:46:04.000 In the middle of, no, in the middle of the run.

00:46:06.000 I had an eight-week run, I think, in New York.

00:46:09.000 And, uh, and...

00:46:11.000 I stopped everything in the middle of it.

00:46:13.000 Not suddenly, just like, I don't think I need it.

00:46:15.000 Wow.

00:46:16.000 Yeah.

00:46:17.000 Now, what's the difference when you get off medication?

00:46:20.000 What was the difference in the way your brain was functioning?

00:46:24.000 I can almost tell how well my brain's functioning.

00:46:29.000 If I'm not depressed or not slowed down by depression, my associations are much quicker.

00:46:35.000 Like, if you're just, like, the simplest thing of, like, that guy looks like so-and-so.

00:46:41.000 Like, sort of a little roast.

00:46:42.000 Like, a little, like, what is that shirt? 0.99

00:46:44.000 Fucking looks like the kind of shirt you... 0.98

00:46:45.000 Like, if I'm not depressed, I can think of those quickly. 0.99

00:46:49.000 If I'm depressed, there were times where I'd get...

00:46:51.000 Depression would affect my memory.

00:46:53.000 Where I couldn't remember...

00:46:55.000 The test I would always do in my head is...

00:46:58.000 There's a guy who directed Gone with the Wind and The Wizard of Oz back-to-back...

00:47:05.000 Jesus.

00:47:05.000 Yeah, and I would try to remember his name.

00:47:08.000 His name is Victor Fleming.

00:47:09.000 But if I was depressed, I couldn't remember it. 0.99

00:47:12.000 Like, it affects your fucking... 0.99

00:47:13.000 Do you think it's a resource thing? 1.00

00:47:16.000 Like, your brain is so concentrating on the depression and feeling like shit, it just doesn't have the resources? 0.99

00:47:22.000 I think it... 0.99

00:47:23.000 I tend to think it's more a dead synapse thing.

00:47:27.000 And I think it's an energy...

00:47:29.000 I think depression is a lack of energy in the brain.

00:47:33.000 And maybe you're right.

00:47:34.000 Maybe it's all going to one place, but that's my own personal interpretation of it.

00:47:39.000 Well, that makes sense in that way, in that definition, that aerobic exercise would benefit people that have depression.

00:47:45.000 Because they say that this particularly running and long-form aerobic exercise, it does something to stimulate brain growth and brain function.

00:47:56.000 They also say, like, if you want to remember something, there was a thing last week or two weeks ago about memory, where if you want to, you should study, then exercise.

00:48:07.000 And you'll have a better memory.

00:48:09.000 That makes sense. 1.00

00:48:10.000 You'll remember the shit you had, you studied. 1.00

00:48:13.000 For me, there's nothing like physically writing something down with a pen. 1.00

00:48:18.000 Yeah, I think there's something to that too, for sure.

00:48:20.000 Like, where you see, because it is like two senses, you're hearing it in your head, it's three, you're hearing it in your head, you're seeing it with your eyes, and you're actually physically forming the thoughts.

00:48:31.000 Yeah, and I actually do say the words out too.

00:48:33.000 When I write something down, I actually say it.

00:48:36.000 Like a slave.

00:48:37.000 Like a slave, I write it down. 0.97

00:48:38.000 You go like, and then, like an illiterate person, you'll be like, and then... 0.93

00:48:42.000 I was like a slave.

00:48:43.000 Slaves actually weren't allowed to write.

00:48:45.000 And then I went to the store.

00:48:48.000 How dark is that?

00:48:49.000 No reading.

00:48:51.000 No writing.

00:48:51.000 You're trying to keep them from getting smart.

00:48:53.000 Well, I had the thought yesterday, black people probably didn't wear eyeglasses until they couldn't. 1.00

00:48:59.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:49:01.000 Right.

00:49:01.000 Nobody tested them.

00:49:02.000 Certainly not bifocals.

00:49:04.000 Yeah.

00:49:04.000 Yeah, they weren't being tested for vision.

00:49:07.000 Yeah, you think about it for a second and all you can do is do a loud exhale.

00:49:13.000 Yeah, we've been talking about perspective recently a lot.

00:49:16.000 It's come up a few times about how insane, like yesterday we were talking about slavery, we were talking about the Confederate War, the Civil War rather, and the Confederate flag.

00:49:24.000 And we were just talking about how insane it is that slavery was 1865, it was abolished.

00:49:29.000 Like that is, that's a week ago.

00:49:32.000 Yeah.

00:49:32.000 And you also think it ended immediately.

00:49:35.000 It didn't fucking end immediately. 0.97

00:49:36.000 No. 0.95

00:49:36.000 It ended like, hey, guys, it's like at the club where they turn the lights on. 0.95

00:49:42.000 There's still people, there's stragglers, there's people that don't want to leave.

00:49:45.000 Then it just shifted over to sharecropping, which was like, yeah, it's subsistence farming.

00:49:50.000 You're still going to live here.

00:49:52.000 A lot of people were sharecroppers.

00:49:54.000 I read a book called Some of My Best Friends Are Black, which seems ironic that I would read that book, but it's about integration.

00:50:02.000 Ironic because some of your best friends are black.

00:50:04.000 Yeah, ironic.

00:50:05.000 But it's about integration, I should say.

00:50:08.000 And it's written by a guy named Tanner Colby.

00:50:10.000 It's an insanely white name. 0.75

00:50:12.000 It's about as white as it gets. 0.89

00:50:14.000 It's literally off the charts.

00:50:15.000 Like, if you were going to build a white name, it would be Tanner Colby.

00:50:20.000 He's always wearing a golf shirt.

00:50:22.000 No, he might as well be.

00:50:24.000 But he really went deep into integration.

00:50:27.000 What was interesting was...

00:50:30.000 I highly recommend the book, but he said, when you think about integration, your resistance, you go, yeah, white people didn't want it.

00:50:37.000 Black people didn't want it either. 1.00

00:50:39.000 Black people were like, we don't want to hang out with those motherfuckers. 1.00

00:50:42.000 Black people didn't trust white people any more than white people trusted them. 1.00

00:50:46.000 It was a mutual suspicion. 0.98

00:50:48.000 At least black people had a case. 1.00

00:50:51.000 White people had no case. 1.00

00:50:52.000 I think a lot of racism is basically white people fearing karmic retribution. 0.89

00:50:59.000 I think fear of black people is like... 0.93

00:51:03.000 There's a karma coming at me. 0.98

00:51:05.000 It's almost like too black, and you think, if they did something to me, I kinda have it coming. 1.00

00:51:13.000 Historically.

00:51:13.000 So let me just kind of like ease...

00:51:16.000 Even if you don't have it coming, they can make the argument.

00:51:19.000 Yeah, and it's not a long argument, and it's a good argument.

00:51:22.000 So that was interesting.

00:51:25.000 And again, I think I've talked about it, maybe I haven't talked about it here, that one of the biggest proponents of integration and ending redlining, you know about redlining?

00:51:34.000 Redlining was a thing where banks would only give loans to people who lived. 0.79

00:51:40.000 They would circle lines and maps.

00:51:43.000 They'd circle neighborhoods and go, if you live in that neighborhood, you can't get a loan.

00:51:46.000 And guess whose neighborhoods they circled? 0.97

00:51:48.000 Black people. 0.99

00:51:50.000 So black people couldn't move. 1.00

00:51:53.000 And the biggest, the guy who ended it was Mitt Romney's dad. 0.85

00:51:57.000 Well, how about Baltimore?

00:51:59.000 Where Baltimore, they had literal areas of the town where they would not sell to black people.

00:52:05.000 Yeah, that's still, they can't, you can't, what do you have, cash?

00:52:09.000 You can't move. 0.98

00:52:10.000 They literally can't fucking move. 0.95

00:52:12.000 You could buy within that neighborhood, but you just, for the most part, couldn't get loans no matter what you did. 0.98

00:52:18.000 And isn't it ironic that in a lot of those neighborhoods, the saving grace financially is white people gentrifying the neighborhoods and making them, like, super rich again.

00:52:29.000 Yeah, that's the saving grace for people that were lucky enough to buy, which has happened more, that's happened a fairly good amount in Brooklyn.

00:52:38.000 But it's not for the neighborhood.

00:52:39.000 For the renters, it's atrocious.

00:52:41.000 They're getting pushed out.

00:52:42.000 So it's like, look, you wanted the neighborhood to be worth something, and yeah, yeah, yeah, but we can't afford it.

00:52:46.000 Yeah.

00:52:46.000 And people are buying up these houses and redoing them and then selling them for shitloads of money.

00:52:51.000 Well Bensonhurst, which was always like this horrible neighborhood, Bensonhurst is going through this wave of gentrification now.

00:53:00.000 All of Brooklyn's going through it.

00:53:01.000 Yeah.

00:53:01.000 Like the entire borough is going through it.

00:53:03.000 It's crazy.

00:53:03.000 Except the poor Italian neighborhoods are pretty much the same.

00:53:07.000 But yeah, like the whole...

00:53:10.000 Bed-Stuy.

00:53:11.000 Yeah, Bed-Stuy, Fort Greene.

00:53:13.000 Yeah.

00:53:13.000 Like Bensonhurst.

00:53:15.000 Those are the ones that we always associated with that deep Italian racism. 1.00

00:53:22.000 The Spike Lee racism. 0.58

00:53:23.000 The baseball bat racism.

00:53:25.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:53:25.000 The wife-beater baseball bat.

00:53:28.000 Real good Italian racism. 1.00

00:53:30.000 Real Italian with sauce. 1.00

00:53:33.000 With the fucking ragu. 1.00

00:53:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:53:35.000 The real stuff. 1.00

00:53:36.000 Yeah.

00:53:38.000 With Man and Goat.

00:53:39.000 Did you ever do stand-up in those areas?

00:53:42.000 I did stand-up in Bensonhurst once.

00:53:45.000 No.

00:53:46.000 Yeah, there was a gig out there.

00:53:48.000 God, I'm trying to remember where it was.

00:53:49.000 But it was, I mean, I might as well have been in a Spike Lee movie.

00:53:52.000 Yeah, I'm sure.

00:53:53.000 Did they like you?

00:53:54.000 I think at the time they did.

00:53:56.000 Did you...

00:53:57.000 It's hard to remember.

00:53:58.000 Play it up.

00:53:59.000 Not like you play it up, but did it feel like...

00:54:02.000 Well, you could pass for Italian.

00:54:03.000 Are you Italian?

00:54:03.000 I am Italian.

00:54:04.000 Oh, there you go.

00:54:05.000 That's why you passed for it.

00:54:05.000 I have one quarter Irish, but most of it is Italian.

00:54:09.000 Yeah, you seem Italian.

00:54:10.000 Like, you look Italian. 0.83

00:54:11.000 I mean that in the nicest possible way, Joe.

00:54:13.000 Well, when I went to Italy recently, I was like, okay.

00:54:17.000 Now I see what's going on. 1.00

00:54:18.000 Those are some talking motherfuckers, huh? 1.00

00:54:20.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:54:20.000 They talk up a storm. 1.00

00:54:21.000 But what was interesting is my driver, we got a cab, and the driver was fucking hilarious. 0.95

00:54:28.000 And not intentionally. 0.99

00:54:29.000 Hilarious in that this guy could not stop staring at women.

00:54:33.000 He would, like, hit the brakes to look at them better.

00:54:35.000 Oh, look at this.

00:54:36.000 Oh, jeez.

00:54:37.000 Cat-calling was invented by Italian dudes, basically. 1.00

00:54:40.000 They're pigs. 1.00

00:54:41.000 I mean, in the most beautiful way. 0.99

00:54:44.000 Like, it's kind of, like, hilarious that this guy... 0.99

00:54:46.000 I mean, he knew he wasn't gonna get to fuck these women, but in his mind, like, you had to slow down. 1.00

00:54:51.000 You gotta whistle. 1.00

00:54:52.000 You gotta stick your head out the window. 1.00

00:54:53.000 Hey, look at this fucking girl with the fucking thing. 1.00

00:54:55.000 Hey, blah, blah, blah, blah. 1.00

00:54:56.000 Yeah.

00:54:57.000 Yeah, and they whistle and they...

00:54:59.000 But they so stare.

00:55:03.000 They're like staring at these women. 1.00

00:55:04.000 There's this framed poster that I have on my wall at home.

00:55:08.000 It's an American girl in Italy.

00:55:11.000 And all the dudes are whistling in the background? 1.00

00:55:12.000 And they're grabbing their dicks. 0.98

00:55:13.000 And it's like 1954. And I remember looking at that when I was a kid thinking, wow, this lady in this photo is probably like 100 years old now, right? 0.97

00:55:23.000 Or dead.

00:55:24.000 More likely dead.

00:55:25.000 But these guys, this isn't something they learned from watching The Sopranos.

00:55:30.000 Like, here it is.

00:55:31.000 This is the photo.

00:55:31.000 Yeah, no, I know it well.

00:55:33.000 Absolutely. 1.00

00:55:34.000 That guy grabbing his dick. 1.00

00:55:35.000 And look at the old man who's got his arms inside the jacket. 1.00

00:55:39.000 The jacket just thrown over his shoulders. 0.98

00:55:41.000 This is fucking good over here. 0.95

00:55:43.000 A couple guys sharing a nice Vespa on the right side. 0.98

00:55:48.000 The guy in the scooter.

00:55:49.000 By the way, not the finest broad we've ever seen either.

00:55:54.000 Well, it's hard to tell because she's got this look on her face like, oh my god.

00:55:58.000 Yeah.

00:55:58.000 Oh my god.

00:55:59.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:56:00.000 I guess it's all relative. 0.98

00:56:01.000 Yeah, but it's just that it's a girl by herself walking past this cafe and all these pigs. 0.94

00:56:08.000 There is this weird thing in their harassment, which is like a maternal respect to it.

00:56:17.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:56:18.000 It's like, you're beautiful like my mama.

00:56:23.000 So that's like built into it.

00:56:25.000 Whereas American harassment doesn't really have that. 0.99

00:56:28.000 Whereas Italian harassment, there's a certain little fucking, little maternal, like, hey mama, my sweet mama. 0.98

00:56:35.000 Because those guys, there was a big thing a few years ago in 60 Minutes where Italian guys don't move out. 0.98

00:56:40.000 So they'll be in their mid-30s and their moms don't want them to move out. 1.00

00:56:44.000 They don't want to move out.

00:56:46.000 They're like, I may not get married.

00:56:48.000 No one can compare it to mama.

00:56:51.000 This is Italian guys in Italy?

00:56:52.000 Italian guys in Italy, yeah.

00:56:54.000 But that's always been an issue of Italian guys in the East Coast, too, that live in America.

00:56:57.000 Yeah.

00:56:58.000 Yeah, well, they got it from their...

00:57:00.000 Would you ever live in Italy, do you think?

00:57:03.000 No.

00:57:04.000 Go on.

00:57:06.000 Go on.

00:57:08.000 No, no.

00:57:09.000 Well, first of all, I can't speak Italian, and I don't have enough time.

00:57:12.000 I mean, I just didn't...

00:57:13.000 To learn, yeah.

00:57:14.000 Not really interested.

00:57:15.000 Second of all...

00:57:15.000 Did you like the lifestyle, though, I guess is my question.

00:57:17.000 I loved being there.

00:57:18.000 I love it.

00:57:19.000 I don't need to, like, live somewhere to experience it for a week or so.

00:57:22.000 I think we were there for eight days.

00:57:24.000 It's beautiful, man.

00:57:25.000 Like, we went to the Amalfi Coast. 0.98

00:57:27.000 Holy shit, is that pretty. 0.99

00:57:29.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:57:29.000 Pretty. 0.99

00:57:30.000 And I think the Vatican...

00:57:32.000 The Vatican is a life-changing experience.

00:57:34.000 Go on.

00:57:35.000 Why do you say that?

00:57:36.000 It's immense.

00:57:37.000 Oh, it's hilarious.

00:57:38.000 First of all, they have a 4,000-year-old obelisk in the center of the town.

00:57:45.000 I mean, you look at some of the artifacts and some of the stuff that they've collected there. 0.98

00:57:50.000 There's so much shit there that it's just laying around. 0.98

00:57:53.000 Stuff that would be under two-inch thick glass in America, you could walk up and touch it. 1.00

00:57:58.000 Their new shit would be our oldest shit. 1.00

00:58:01.000 It's amazing. 1.00

00:58:02.000 There was a church, I remember, in Rome.

00:58:04.000 I used to go there pretty often because I was dating a girl who lived there.

00:58:07.000 That's a long-distance relationship.

00:58:09.000 Yeah, that sure is.

00:58:10.000 It wasn't that serious, Joe.

00:58:13.000 Do you use the word dating in air quotes?

00:58:16.000 Yeah, I don't know how to say it.

00:58:17.000 I knew a girl. 0.92

00:58:18.000 I knew a girl. 0.92

00:58:19.000 We were dating.

00:58:20.000 Yeah, I knew a girl over in Rome. 0.99

00:58:24.000 And, no, she was telling me, yeah, they have a piece of Jesus' cross.

00:58:29.000 And it was, like, believable?

00:58:30.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:58:31.000 Like, I don't even think they made a big deal out of it.

00:58:34.000 Like, there weren't a ton of signs about it.

00:58:36.000 Like, that would be like a huge attraction.

00:58:39.000 That would be like the number one attraction in certain states in America.

00:58:43.000 Well, there's a church in Ethiopia that is purported to contain the lost Ark of the Covenant.

00:58:52.000 And they know where the church- and they have the Ark of the Covenant?

00:58:55.000 Well, this is what is weird. 0.99

00:58:57.000 The people that guard this church, they all have like cataracts and shit, and it's a very strange thing. 0.99

00:59:05.000 This is all from Graham Hancock's book. 0.98

00:59:08.000 Where it's one of the first things that got him into this idea of, like, lost civilizations, and that the idea that people had come up with, like, a pretty high level of sophistication in their societies, but then the societies would crumble,

00:59:24.000 either due to natural disasters or war or whatever, and then they would have to sort of rebuild civilization.

00:59:31.000 But...

00:59:32.000 He was investigating this one church in Ethiopia where the people that guard this church in Ethiopia, it's like a very specific sect and they won't allow anyone to get into the sacred, secret areas of it.

00:59:46.000 And the speculation was that somewhere inside that church is the lost Ark of the Covenant and that the reason why these people have cataracts and the reason why these people have all these issues, like health issues, it could possibly be that What's in that Lost Ark of the Covenant is some sort of a toxic element,

01:00:06.000 whether it's nuclear or whether it's chemical or whether...

01:00:09.000 It would stand to reason if you watch the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

01:00:13.000 That makes those guys' faces melt, right?

01:00:15.000 Sure does.

01:00:15.000 I don't know what could be substantiated, if anything, about that.

01:00:19.000 Makes your face melt unless you close your eyes.

01:00:21.000 You know, like one of those things.

01:00:24.000 Or, well, look, if someone came up with some sort of a nuclear reactor, you know, there was a kid that got arrested.

01:00:31.000 I'm going to close my eyes if there's a nuclear blast and just hope for the best.

01:00:34.000 That's a move.

01:00:34.000 It's like when Bugs Bunny would jump out of an airplane right before it hit the ground.

01:00:39.000 That's exactly right. 0.98

01:00:40.000 But there was a kid that they found, I forget where he was, but he was building a nuclear reactor in his fucking backyard. 0.98

01:00:49.000 I want to say he was 17. Yeah. 0.98

01:00:51.000 And someone found it, somehow or another they found it, they're like, what the fuck are you doing? 0.99

01:00:56.000 Yeah.

01:00:57.000 But if this kid can do that in 2016, the idea is if there was some sort of super highly advanced lost civilization that had reached an incredible level of sophistication when it came to, You know, the ability to manipulate matter and possibly even come up with some sort of a reactor and that that was what the Ark of the Covenant was.

01:01:19.000 That's why it was so sacred and fascinating because they realized it had immense power.

01:01:23.000 But that power was probably like some sort of a small reactor.

01:01:27.000 That would be cool.

01:01:28.000 I hope.

01:01:29.000 Wouldn't that be cool?

01:01:30.000 That should all end up being true?

01:01:32.000 Well, they know for sure that they've found batteries.

01:01:35.000 They've found batteries in Baghdad and I believe in some of the ancient Egyptian sites that what it is is a very ancient sort of method of creating a battery.

01:01:50.000 That's 100% confirmed.

01:01:52.000 That I believe.

01:01:53.000 Yeah, and that's confirmed.

01:01:54.000 They know that they did come up with something, and they figured out a way to use that battery.

01:01:59.000 There it is right there.

01:02:00.000 That's the Baghdad battery.

01:02:01.000 Oh yeah, that makes sense.

01:02:02.000 How old? 1.00

01:02:03.000 That's old as fuck. 0.99

01:02:04.000 I want to say it's at least 3,000 or 4,000 years old. 1.00

01:02:09.000 Find out how old that fucker is. 1.00

01:02:12.000 Let's guess. 1.00

01:02:13.000 I say it's 4,000 years old.

01:02:15.000 3,000.

01:02:16.000 I'm going to go with 3. I'm going to go 2. 2?

01:02:19.000 2,000?

01:02:20.000 Hmm.

01:02:23.000 Let's see.

01:02:25.000 What does it say?

01:02:27.000 No?

01:02:28.000 Well, they must be able to carbon date it, right?

01:02:31.000 1938?

01:02:32.000 They found it in the 1930s?

01:02:34.000 Hmm.

01:02:36.000 So does it say how old it is?

01:02:38.000 That's all I want to know.

01:02:40.000 Yeah.

01:02:40.000 Speculation?

01:02:41.000 What is it, speculation?

01:02:43.000 Some believe that it was...

01:02:45.000 Doesn't say age.

01:02:47.000 Supporting elements, battery, hypothesis.

01:02:52.000 Nothing?

01:02:52.000 See if you can find it.

01:02:54.000 But see if you can find, actually before you see if you can find that, see if you can find the thing about the guys who guard the Ark of the Covenant in Ethiopia. 0.99

01:03:02.000 Because apparently these monks that guard it, they all have fucked up eyes.

01:03:07.000 That was one of the things that Graham Hancock thought was like super disturbing when he started investigating it. 1.00

01:03:11.000 He's like, why do these guys have all cataracts and shit? 0.98

01:03:15.000 What's happening? 0.99

01:03:16.000 Yeah.

01:03:16.000 But if somebody can come up with a battery, obviously there's a big step between a battery and some sort of a reactor.

01:03:21.000 But if this kid in his fucking backyard is building a reactor, who knows? 0.98

01:03:27.000 They had enough, a high level of sophistication. 1.00

01:03:33.000 They had a high enough level of sophistication where they were able to construct the pyramid, right?

01:03:37.000 Look at the Great Pyramid.

01:03:39.000 It's an incredible piece of engineering.

01:03:42.000 2,300,000 stones, all cut so precisely you can't get a razor blade in between the rocks.

01:03:49.000 I mean, especially if you look in like the king's chamber. 0.99

01:03:51.000 How high up at the pyramid do you think you needed to be to get pussy? 1.00

01:03:55.000 Do you know what I mean? 1.00

01:03:58.000 Like, is there stairs?

01:04:00.000 No, but I'm saying in terms of what you did, what your position was.

01:04:05.000 Oh, that's another one.

01:04:06.000 I'm on the pitch.

01:04:07.000 I got an office on the 8th floor of the pyramid. 0.99

01:04:09.000 Bitch, I'm on the point. 1.00

01:04:10.000 I don't want to hear this. 0.99

01:04:11.000 My office is up at the point.

01:04:12.000 Come up and have a cigar.

01:04:14.000 If you worked on it, builders probably didn't.

01:04:16.000 Although, I don't know if jobs were considered a big deal back then.

01:04:21.000 They used to think they were slaves.

01:04:22.000 They don't think they're slaves anymore.

01:04:23.000 They stopped thinking they were slaves about a decade ago, I think, when they uncovered some of the little camps that the people used to live in, and by the food that they were eating, and by the quality of the clothes and the plates, they think they were skilled workers.

01:04:39.000 They don't think they were slaves.

01:04:41.000 And which makes sense, because you're talking about something that 2,300,000 stones, I think the way they described it was if you cut in place 10 stones a day, it would take you 664 years.

01:04:53.000 Yeah, so how long do they think it took?

01:04:55.000 They weigh between 2 and 80 tons.

01:04:57.000 They don't know.

01:04:58.000 They don't know how long it took.

01:04:59.000 But they know that it was constructed somewhere in the neighborhood of 2,500 BC based on carbon dating.

01:05:07.000 So they don't even know exactly which pharaoh built it.

01:05:13.000 They get real weird with what they go on in terms of what's the evidence that someone made this.

01:05:20.000 One of them is the Sphinx.

01:05:23.000 The way they decided to attribute the Sphinx to one guy, where there's a passage that it says that it came to him in a dream that if he uncovered the Sphinx, that he would be the Pharaoh.

01:05:38.000 He would become the Pharaoh of Egypt.

01:05:39.000 If he uncovered it.

01:05:41.000 And so the speculation by the people that are sort of backdating history is that the Sphinx could have entirely been covered in sand.

01:05:48.000 It could be incredibly ancient.

01:05:50.000 Because when Napoleon found it, it was covered in sand.

01:05:54.000 When people found it in the 1800s, there's actually photographs of it before they had dug it out and excavated it.

01:06:00.000 Actual photographs.

01:06:01.000 Is the thing about shooting the nose off, is that a fake thing?

01:06:03.000 Supposedly it's true. 0.98

01:06:04.000 Somebody fucked the nose up. 0.98

01:06:06.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:06:06.000 Whether it was Napoleon or one of his crew, that's... 0.98

01:06:09.000 I don't know if they know that for sure.

01:06:12.000 I know they do know that the nose and the face are different from the original nose and face.

01:06:17.000 The original face, they think, was a lion.

01:06:21.000 Well, that's amazing, like, just people's love of faces.

01:06:25.000 Like, there's a human...

01:06:27.000 You've ever heard...

01:06:28.000 I feel like I've talked about it, where there was a...

01:06:30.000 They put...

01:06:34.000 Yeah.

01:06:49.000 And they chose watching video of the leader of the pack.

01:06:52.000 Wow.

01:06:53.000 Yeah.

01:06:53.000 It's this thing in human beings like needing kind of gods.

01:06:59.000 Needing some sort of Pillar or needing something to like...

01:07:06.000 It also speaks to just charisma. 0.81

01:07:08.000 Isn't it possible also though that what they really needed is to get the fuck out of that cage and that the leader of their pack on a video maybe like let them know like maybe someone's gonna let me out of here. 0.96

01:07:19.000 Maybe just pay attention. 0.98

01:07:20.000 Maybe.

01:07:21.000 Yeah, but that's also something to like there's something about certain people you just like watching.

01:07:28.000 Like there's a certain element.

01:07:30.000 It's charisma.

01:07:31.000 Charm. 0.85

01:07:31.000 Whatever you want to say. 0.85

01:07:33.000 Certain people that you see them and you're like, okay.

01:07:35.000 It's the definition of charisma is you want to say yes before you know what the question is.

01:07:41.000 And these monkeys got it, Joe.

01:07:44.000 They got that charisma?

01:07:45.000 They got the eight factor.

01:07:47.000 I like how you're doing the Italian thing with your fingers. 0.99

01:07:48.000 They fucking got that thing. 0.99

01:07:50.000 They got this thing. 0.99

01:07:51.000 Well, that sort of makes sense when you think about kings and pharaohs and the fact that there's always been this alpha character.

01:07:59.000 There's always been this one ruler.

01:08:01.000 For pretty much every civilization, every single city, every single state, every single country always has that one charismatic leader that stands in front of the people and lifts his hands up and everybody cheers.

01:08:13.000 Well, that's the thing that people underestimate, and I don't think we should talk about Trump for a long time, but he's got a lot of charisma.

01:08:21.000 Say what you want about the guy, he's got a ton of charisma.

01:08:24.000 He's got a weird kind of charisma.

01:08:25.000 Yeah.

01:08:26.000 He's got like this mean guy charisma where you want him to like you, so you say things.

01:08:31.000 That you don't even believe.

01:08:33.000 Yeah, because you want him to like think that you're on his side, so he won't come after you.

01:08:37.000 Yeah.

01:08:37.000 It's like a bully charisma.

01:08:39.000 Yeah, that's absolutely right, but it's charisma nonetheless. 0.89

01:08:41.000 Like that's the, and that's the thing about stars and movie stars and shit like that, is like you're watching this guy, you watch Denzel Washington waiting for him to snap, He never does, but you can tell he's gonna.

01:08:57.000 He just doesn't. 0.66

01:08:59.000 It's like Robert Downey Jr. I feel like with Robert Downey Jr., you're watching a guy not do cocaine.

01:09:04.000 Yeah.

01:09:05.000 He wants to do everything in him wants to do cocaine.

01:09:09.000 Ha! 0.89

01:09:10.000 So you're watching a guy actively not do cocaine from second to second.

01:09:15.000 That's such a good analysis.

01:09:18.000 Yeah.

01:09:18.000 That's so true.

01:09:20.000 You're just watching this guy, this thing, this car accident that never happens.

01:09:24.000 Yeah, you're watching a guy struggle slightly with sobriety.

01:09:30.000 Yes.

01:09:30.000 You see it on him.

01:09:33.000 It's kinetic.

01:09:35.000 And that little bit allows him to be snarky and weird and get away with it.

01:09:40.000 Yeah, because daddy didn't get his medicine.

01:09:41.000 Wow.

01:09:43.000 But you could almost do that with a lot of dramatic stars.

01:09:46.000 Comedy stars less so.

01:09:48.000 But there's something about Tom Cruise that's that.

01:09:50.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.

01:09:51.000 Right?

01:09:52.000 Like, you're just watching.

01:09:53.000 I don't know if he's not going to snap.

01:09:55.000 He's almost going to, like, fly away or something.

01:09:57.000 Well, he'll snap if you talk about, like, psychiatric drugs.

01:10:01.000 Yeah.

01:10:02.000 Like he did on Brooke Shields.

01:10:04.000 Yeah.

01:10:05.000 Matt Lauer.

01:10:06.000 You're glib, Matt.

01:10:07.000 You're glib.

01:10:08.000 That was amazing.

01:10:10.000 That was a perfect example of why really big time movie stars should not have podcasts.

01:10:16.000 You're 100% right.

01:10:18.000 You're absolutely right. 1.00

01:10:21.000 But it's also a testament to his charisma that he said that and we're still like, ah, fuck it. 1.00

01:10:26.000 I need him to be a movie star. 1.00

01:10:29.000 More than I need him to agree with me about religion.

01:10:32.000 Yeah, he bounced back. 0.99

01:10:34.000 But what's really interesting is what he bounces back on, like he's most successful, is these wackadoo fucking science fiction movies. 0.98

01:10:42.000 That's where he's done the best since that. 0.96

01:10:45.000 The Day After Tomorrow thing or the whatever that one was? 0.99

01:10:48.000 Yeah, whatever the fuck it was. 0.99

01:10:49.000 Edge of Tomorrow? 0.99

01:10:50.000 Beginning?

01:10:50.000 What is it?

01:10:51.000 There's two of them.

01:10:52.000 He did two of them.

01:10:53.000 He did two.

01:10:54.000 He did...

01:10:56.000 Well, the Mission Impossible, those are his bread and butter at this point.

01:10:59.000 That too.

01:11:00.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:11:01.000 But that Edge of Tomorrow movie was a good movie. 0.98

01:11:03.000 Fucking very good. 0.96

01:11:04.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:11:05.000 You know what was a really good movie?

01:11:07.000 Deadpool?

01:11:08.000 Did you see Deadpool?

01:11:08.000 Yes!

01:11:09.000 I couldn't fucking believe how much I love Deadpool. 0.95

01:11:12.000 I saw it on an airplane. 0.97

01:11:13.000 Me too.

01:11:13.000 And it kept cutting out, and it was still excellent.

01:11:16.000 Yes!

01:11:17.000 Like, I'm not gonna say it was perfect, but there were some...

01:11:21.000 Moment to moment, it was as good a movie as I can remember.

01:11:24.000 Yeah, for a superhero movie, it's probably as good as it gets.

01:11:27.000 Yeah, I totally agree.

01:11:29.000 Yeah, that was a really good movie.

01:11:30.000 Yeah, I was very, very pleased with that movie.

01:11:32.000 Because I had no expectations.

01:11:34.000 Yeah.

01:11:34.000 And at the end, he still gets to bang the girl.

01:11:37.000 So there you go.

01:11:37.000 The way they banged that banging montage was great.

01:11:41.000 And then him putting up a picture of what's his name?

01:11:44.000 On his face.

01:11:45.000 Yeah.

01:11:45.000 It's just like, God, that's really fun.

01:11:47.000 It's like where they let writers write well.

01:11:50.000 Like, yeah, that's a funny idea.

01:11:52.000 So we'll just do that.

01:11:53.000 Well, I saw Ghostbusters.

01:11:55.000 I didn't see it.

01:11:56.000 Which I feel awful about. 0.99

01:11:58.000 There's some funny shit in Ghostbusters. 0.98

01:12:01.000 Like, overall, it's not a good movie. 0.99

01:12:04.000 It's just not a good movie. 0.99

01:12:05.000 But they did some funny shit. 0.99

01:12:07.000 They came up with some funny... 0.99

01:12:09.000 And I almost want to know, like, man, what could this have been if you let whoever came up with all that funny shit just make a movie out of it? 0.97

01:12:17.000 Were they scenes or was it dialogue? 0.96

01:12:19.000 Scenes.

01:12:20.000 Scenes and dialogue.

01:12:21.000 There were scenes and...

01:12:22.000 It was such a combination of things, that movie.

01:12:24.000 And it so had the feeling...

01:12:27.000 Of the hands of the producers and the executives.

01:12:30.000 It so had a feeling.

01:12:31.000 Well, that's what you...

01:12:32.000 In some ways, the thing I liked about Deadpool was I was watching it going, the producers of this movie did a good job where they were like, this moment doesn't work.

01:12:42.000 Make it work.

01:12:43.000 Right.

01:12:43.000 They micromanage.

01:12:45.000 I worked on Chris Rock's movie Top 5 a little bit.

01:12:48.000 I just consulted for a couple weeks.

01:12:50.000 And the producer is this guy named Scott Rudin who's like a famous producer and what I couldn't believe was the level of detail that guy was worried about.

01:12:59.000 It was he busted Chris's balls for a year about the script literally made him rewrite and rewrite and rewrite and rewrite and rewrite and then on set the guy was worried about shirts and And buttons.

01:13:09.000 And that's what I realized.

01:13:11.000 Like, okay, these Deadpool producers, whereas it feels like maybe on Ghostbusters, you have to get lucky, too, with Studio.

01:13:18.000 You all have an agreed-to set of what's good.

01:13:23.000 And then you build the movie from there.

01:13:25.000 Also, there's a problem that the movie had a very clear agenda to be a pro-woman movie.

01:13:32.000 Which it gets...

01:13:33.000 I mean, there's nothing wrong with being pro-woman.

01:13:37.000 But if that's what you're trying to do...

01:13:39.000 It's just not enough of a...

01:13:39.000 It's like a...

01:13:40.000 It's a goofy...

01:13:41.000 It's not a theme for a movie...

01:13:43.000 A comedy movie, it feels like... 0.99

01:13:44.000 Well, all the men are buffoons. 0.99

01:13:46.000 They're not just buffoons. 1.00

01:13:47.000 They're cartoonishly retarded. 1.00

01:13:49.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:13:50.000 Like Chris... 0.99

01:13:51.000 Whatever the fuck his name is? 0.99

01:13:52.000 Hemsworth, yeah. 1.00

01:13:52.000 Thor is so retarded, it doesn't even make sense. 1.00

01:13:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:13:56.000 He's so fucking stupid, it doesn't make sense. 1.00

01:13:58.000 But they keep him around because he's beautiful. 1.00

01:14:00.000 And that's like the joke.

01:14:01.000 Well, that's a funny...

01:14:02.000 But I like these revenge jokes.

01:14:04.000 Where it's like, so you're just gonna do...

01:14:06.000 What men did? 0.95

01:14:07.000 How long is this going to last?

01:14:09.000 Like, what's the next?

01:14:10.000 Which is easy for a man to say. 0.87

01:14:11.000 Like, hey, do something else, honey.

01:14:13.000 But it just feels like there's got to be a next...

01:14:16.000 There's a lot of retribution right now.

01:14:20.000 That's a lot of what Twitter is.

01:14:21.000 It just wasn't believable.

01:14:23.000 A lot of what Twitter is, how so?

01:14:24.000 It's a lot of people...

01:14:27.000 It's like digital lynch mobs of people, and that are rightly so. 0.98

01:14:30.000 They'll go after people for saying something fucked up about race. 0.95

01:14:33.000 Like they went after Justin Timberlake a few weeks ago because he said something we're all the same. 0.97

01:14:38.000 And then it's like, but you can't say that, and it just becomes this mob of people, and it's purely about racial revenge.

01:14:46.000 Hmm.

01:14:47.000 As far as I'm concerned. 0.99

01:14:48.000 Well, it's definitely about people having the opportunity to shit on somebody. 0.98

01:14:53.000 People that didn't have the opportunity before, and now they have it. 1.00

01:14:57.000 It's like they have social cachet, and they have social power, and they use it for the same bullshit that white people used it for. 0.99

01:15:05.000 Well, it's not even just black people doing it. 0.99

01:15:08.000 It's a lot of white people calling people out on weight. 0.91

01:15:10.000 Any sort of marginalized group.

01:15:13.000 Literally any group.

01:15:14.000 But this movie...

01:15:16.000 There's a bunch of problems with the movie. 0.99

01:15:20.000 But the fact that all the men in the movie were ridiculous. 1.00

01:15:25.000 All the men in this movie were buffoons. 1.00

01:15:27.000 All the men in the movie... 1.00

01:15:29.000 Like Bill Murray gets fucking killed in it. 1.00

01:15:32.000 Spoiler alert. 1.00

01:15:33.000 I mean...

01:15:35.000 It's weird.

01:15:36.000 It's weird.

01:15:37.000 It's like, it's an agenda-driven movie more than they wrote something, they figured, well, it'll work if you do this, or it'll work if you do that. 0.93

01:15:44.000 Like, they didn't even have romantic interests in the movie, because men were just so retarded. 1.00

01:15:51.000 Yeah. 0.82

01:15:51.000 Like, the women didn't have boyfriends, they didn't have husbands, they didn't have, like, they had Chris Talmsworth. 0.82

01:15:58.000 Yeah.

01:15:58.000 But that's it.

01:15:59.000 And he was just eye candy.

01:16:00.000 Well, the thing I always tell people is when you're writing about a specific gen, like for a long time, women in comedy, women in comedy movies were props or they were like Andy McDowell always used to be like the love interest.

01:16:14.000 Andy McDowell?

01:16:16.000 And she was always just like this warm, sort of like vaguely disapproving.

01:16:20.000 It's either like you're disapproving of the guy or you're approving to a fault.

01:16:25.000 Because if there's a movie about a certain gender, which is usually men, the women in their lives, for the plot to advance, they'd either have to be for the plot or against the plot.

01:16:38.000 Right.

01:16:38.000 So then women started complaining, like, well, you see us as these binary, goofy things, and obviously women in life are more complex than that.

01:16:46.000 So now that women are starting to get their own movies, and it's about groups of women, you see it's a writing problem. 0.99

01:16:54.000 You're in a trap where the men in Bridesmaids were goofy as fuck. 0.99

01:16:59.000 It was an Irish cop in Milwaukee? 1.00

01:17:01.000 Tell me more, because I've never seen that in my fucking whole life. 0.99

01:17:05.000 A guy who's just like, and Bridesmaids is a fucking masterpiece for the most part. 0.98

01:17:10.000 Just that part, I was kind of like, wait, so he's a cop and he's got an endless appetite for wig, even though she's not interested and was dicky to him, but he's still, he'll take her back, whatever. 0.83

01:17:23.000 And it becomes about, he's basically the only man in the movie, and it's kind of a goofy part.

01:17:28.000 And it's because it's about a group of women, and that's just the purpose that men have in that plot. 0.68

01:17:35.000 You know what I mean?

01:17:36.000 But they always, people take it as like this, a sexism thing, and I just take it as like a screenwriting thing.

01:17:42.000 Well, it is that, definitely, but one of the problems that people have found when they're talking about this movie is that you can't criticize it, because if you criticize it, you're sexist.

01:17:52.000 Yeah.

01:17:52.000 And no, it's not a good piece of art.

01:17:55.000 Yeah, there you go.

01:17:56.000 It's not really well done.

01:17:58.000 But there's moments in it.

01:17:59.000 And Paul Feig, who did Bridesmaids that I'm talking about.

01:18:02.000 Same guy.

01:18:02.000 Same guy who did it.

01:18:04.000 Well, whatever, he's done it twice now.

01:18:06.000 But I think he knows he's a really good writer.

01:18:09.000 He knows it's hard to write because it's never been...

01:18:14.000 I always tell people this and I go, show me a good example of...

01:18:17.000 Of a movie about a group of guys where the woman isn't just...

01:18:20.000 Even in Deadpool, she's a prop, but they make fun of it. 1.00

01:18:25.000 She's a stripper, she's in love with him unconditionally, even though his face turns into a monster, she still wants him to eat her pussy. 1.00

01:18:32.000 And they make fun of it, yeah, they make fun of it in a funny way, like they meet up, they meet cute, and then they think about how damaged they both are. 1.00

01:18:39.000 That was perfect to me.

01:18:40.000 Right. 0.99

01:18:40.000 Because it was brief, and it's like, the thing they always complain about when you're developing movies, it's like, I don't buy this couple, and it's like, yeah, it's a fucking movie. 0.99

01:18:48.000 Right.

01:18:49.000 Sorry, like, they're just not, I don't buy a lot of real couples.

01:18:51.000 Well, not only that, they have to spell it all out in two hours.

01:18:54.000 Yeah, and they have to meet and fall in love within five minutes. 0.93

01:18:57.000 Well, there's a lot more to a relationship than that. 0.99

01:18:59.000 Yeah, yeah, we can't show you all that other shit. 0.99

01:19:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:19:01.000 Because that takes hours, days and weeks and months, and you fuck. 1.00

01:19:05.000 That is correct. 0.99

01:19:06.000 The sad thing about the movie, the Ghostbusters movie, is there was some stuff in it that was really clever.

01:19:11.000 There was funny stuff.

01:19:13.000 And in the beginning, I was enjoying it.

01:19:15.000 I was like, you know what?

01:19:16.000 I bet people are not giving this thing a fair shake.

01:19:19.000 And then as it got on, and I was like, oh, this is just so clunky.

01:19:24.000 There's parts of it that were just so clumsy and just poorly. 0.99

01:19:28.000 I gotta see it because every single one of those women are fucking home run hitters. 1.00

01:19:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:19:34.000 Melissa McCarthy is fucking funny, man. 0.99

01:19:36.000 Dude, Wig is fucking funny. 1.00

01:19:38.000 Who's Wig? 1.00

01:19:39.000 Christian Wig? 0.87

01:19:40.000 Which one's she? 0.97

01:19:42.000 She was in Bridesmaids.

01:19:43.000 I don't know what she was.

01:19:45.000 Oh, she's the auburn-haired woman? 0.99

01:19:48.000 Yeah.

01:19:49.000 And Leslie's a fucking monster. 1.00

01:19:51.000 She's handicapped in it. 1.00

01:19:53.000 They give her some clunky lines. 0.98

01:19:56.000 And then the girl from SNL, Kate McKinnon, is really, really funny.

01:20:01.000 She was really funny in it.

01:20:02.000 She was very funny in it.

01:20:04.000 Look, it's not that bad.

01:20:06.000 I mean, I didn't hate it.

01:20:07.000 I went to see it with my kids.

01:20:08.000 They enjoyed it.

01:20:09.000 But there were some moments I laughed pretty hard.

01:20:13.000 Great.

01:20:14.000 But most of it not.

01:20:16.000 Yeah, it's hard to make funny movies, man.

01:20:19.000 You know, it's like, at the end, the way they wrap it up, you're like, oh, Christ. 0.98

01:20:23.000 Like, get the fuck out of here. 0.98

01:20:25.000 It's like, it's so clumsy. 0.97

01:20:27.000 Oh, it's just so awkward.

01:20:29.000 Somebody told me there were no stakes in the movie.

01:20:31.000 It was just like, yeah, there's ghosts and we're gonna fight them.

01:20:33.000 Yeah.

01:20:34.000 And, uh, we got them.

01:20:36.000 Yeah.

01:20:37.000 Yeah.

01:20:37.000 It is weird.

01:20:39.000 It's hard to do a movie.

01:20:41.000 Making a funny good movie is really hard.

01:20:44.000 A big budget movie.

01:20:46.000 A big budget with a legacy and a release date.

01:20:51.000 Yeah, and if there was no Ghostbusters before it, there had never been a Ghostbuster movie, and this was the first ever Ghostbuster movie.

01:20:57.000 We wouldn't be talking about Ghostbusters.

01:20:59.000 It would be different.

01:21:00.000 Yeah.

01:21:01.000 Well, maybe people would enjoy it more, and maybe they wouldn't be so handicapped because they had to sort of connect with the legacy and tie all these loose ends in, and they could kind of do it any way they want. 0.59

01:21:13.000 But that's really a part...

01:21:15.000 Whenever you're trying to redo an old movie, even if you do a great job...

01:21:19.000 Like, remember Jason Statham redid The Mechanic?

01:21:21.000 Like, dude...

01:21:22.000 I didn't know that was a remake. 0.99

01:21:23.000 You're doing a fucking Charles Bronson movie? 0.99

01:21:26.000 You didn't know? 1.00

01:21:26.000 Oh, I didn't even know that. 1.00

01:21:27.000 No.

01:21:27.000 Oh, my God.

01:21:28.000 No.

01:21:28.000 Charles Bronson and that handsome fella from the 70s who went crazy.

01:21:35.000 Oh, God damn it. 0.99

01:21:37.000 What is his name? 0.99

01:21:38.000 Robert Blake?

01:21:38.000 No, that was another one.

01:21:40.000 What is his name?

01:21:42.000 Charles Bronson in The Mechanic.

01:21:44.000 What is the other... 0.61

01:21:45.000 He was this really handsome actor who became like a crazy alcoholic.

01:21:51.000 He was really huge.

01:21:53.000 Jan Michael Vincent?

01:21:54.000 Yes.

01:21:55.000 I was going to guess Nick Nolte, but he would have been the next one.

01:21:57.000 He was really huge back then.

01:21:59.000 Like, he was a beautiful man. 0.99

01:22:00.000 That's a goddamn frame right there. 0.99

01:22:01.000 Look at that hair and those tombstones in the back. 1.00

01:22:04.000 Bronson.

01:22:05.000 Bronson's one of my all-time favorites.

01:22:07.000 He was great.

01:22:07.000 He was posing.

01:22:08.000 It's what we call graphic right there, Joe.

01:22:10.000 Yes, perfect.

01:22:11.000 And by the way, no video.

01:22:12.000 That's film, ladies and gentlemen.

01:22:14.000 That's organic.

01:22:16.000 It's American.

01:22:17.000 Back then, when they would do a movie like this, too, you didn't get that many movies every week.

01:22:23.000 It's not like today.

01:22:25.000 Jan Michael Vincent played his protege, and Charles Bronson was a hitman.

01:22:30.000 You saw this in the theater?

01:22:32.000 TV. I think I saw it on television the first time.

01:22:37.000 It was 1972. I don't think I've ever seen a Charles Bronson movie.

01:22:41.000 What?

01:22:42.000 They're just all revenge movies, right? 1.00

01:22:43.000 Who the fuck are you? 0.99

01:22:45.000 This is not a revenge movie necessarily. 1.00

01:22:47.000 I mean, in some ways it kind of is.

01:22:49.000 Death Wish is a revenge movie, right?

01:22:51.000 Yes.

01:22:52.000 Death Wish was a white man's dream. 0.99

01:22:55.000 The white man is going to go out. 1.00

01:22:57.000 They raped his daughter or something? 1.00

01:22:58.000 A bunch of dark-skinned people? 0.98

01:23:00.000 I don't remember exactly what the premise behind it was.

01:23:04.000 I don't know who that guy is, but he's interesting.

01:23:07.000 But Charles Bronson and Jan Michael Vincent, they had this movie, which was a classic movie at the time, and then it was redone with Jason Statham and this other guy who is a really good actor.

01:23:23.000 Ben Foster.

01:23:23.000 That's his name?

01:23:24.000 Ben Foster?

01:23:25.000 Who was in that movie, 30 Days of Night?

01:23:28.000 Did you ever see that movie?

01:23:29.000 No, I didn't see that, but he was good in another movie with Woody Harrelson.

01:23:36.000 Yeah.

01:23:37.000 About Iraq.

01:23:39.000 Yes.

01:23:40.000 I know what you're talking about.

01:23:40.000 I don't remember the name.

01:23:41.000 He's great in everything, that fucking guy. 0.99

01:23:43.000 He's such a good actor. 1.00

01:23:45.000 There he is.

01:23:45.000 All creepy looking.

01:23:47.000 So he played the Jan Michael Vincent character, which is an interesting sort of twist on things.

01:23:53.000 It wasn't a bad movie.

01:23:55.000 It was a pretty good movie.

01:23:56.000 I enjoyed it, as far as a mindless action movie.

01:23:59.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:24:00.000 But you're redoing a fucking Charles Bronson movie, man. 0.99

01:24:03.000 As soon as you try to redo... 1.00

01:24:06.000 A Charles Bronson movie.

01:24:07.000 Do you have any desire for remakes?

01:24:09.000 I'm never like, oh, thank God they're remaking it, because I just would rather watch the original.

01:24:13.000 Yeah.

01:24:14.000 Because it contains everything I want, which is the actual movie and then the memories I have of it.

01:24:19.000 I like when they remade the Hulk, because they kept doing it over and over and over again. 0.94

01:24:23.000 Well, yeah, that's just a funny fucking guy trying to bit that's never going to work. 0.96

01:24:30.000 But they did it with Eric Bana. 1.00

01:24:31.000 That was shit. 1.00

01:24:32.000 That was the super emotional one, right? 1.00

01:24:34.000 That was the Yang Li one that was very emotional.

01:24:37.000 Yes.

01:24:37.000 I gotta say, I didn't really like the last Avengers.

01:24:41.000 I should say the first Avengers, because it just seemed like they just spent the whole movie just like, Hey, you guys wanna...

01:24:48.000 Hey, you gotta come fight.

01:24:49.000 And they'd be like, Nah, I don't wanna.

01:24:51.000 No, you gotta come.

01:24:52.000 Alright, I'll come.

01:24:53.000 And then they had a big fight at the end. 0.92

01:24:54.000 But the Hulk one was especially shitty.

01:24:56.000 I saw The Avengers right after I saw Ex Machina, which was one of my all-time favorite movies.

01:25:02.000 Ex Machina was very good, yeah.

01:25:03.000 Incredible. 1.00

01:25:04.000 So I saw that one week, and then I saw The Avengers the next week, and I was like, this is shit. 1.00

01:25:08.000 This is clunky. 1.00

01:25:10.000 Clunky-ass fucking movie. 1.00

01:25:13.000 But Homeboy played a way better Hulk. 1.00

01:25:15.000 What the fuck's his name? 0.99

01:25:16.000 Mark Ruffalo? 0.99

01:25:18.000 Ruffalo and then Ed Norton did it too.

01:25:20.000 Ed Norton was in the original.

01:25:21.000 No, he did the second one.

01:25:22.000 What is the Hulk's deal?

01:25:23.000 He just doesn't want to fight?

01:25:25.000 He's very strong, but he's not interested?

01:25:28.000 No.

01:25:29.000 He was a scientist.

01:25:30.000 The scientist was doing an experiment.

01:25:32.000 He was exposed to massive levels of gamma radiation.

01:25:35.000 And when he gets angry, you don't want to know him when he's angry.

01:25:39.000 I understand.

01:25:39.000 I'm not interested in that yet.

01:25:41.000 Plus, he's angry all the time.

01:25:42.000 That's Mark Ruffalo.

01:25:44.000 I'm always angry.

01:25:44.000 That's the secret.

01:25:45.000 Oh, is that true?

01:25:46.000 That's the secret.

01:25:47.000 Got it.

01:25:48.000 Yeah, so he's a rageaholic.

01:25:50.000 Yeah, he just keeps it together and he's but at any moment He could just let it go and when he decides to let it go And he can't control it because why isn't it just one of these things like in the Avengers?

01:26:00.000 It seemed like they were like hey come help us with this specific guy Yeah, and he did tough to get him to pay attention But that's the premise, right?

01:26:12.000 He can't guide it because it just seems like, hey, Hulk, come.

01:26:15.000 And he's like, but you guys are going to make me get angry?

01:26:18.000 It seems like a small price to pay. 0.99

01:26:20.000 Like, yeah, fucking get a little bit angry, guy. 1.00

01:26:23.000 We need you to save the world, you piece of shit. 1.00

01:26:25.000 Save the world, you fucking selfish fucking animal. 1.00

01:26:27.000 Well, when they go to find him the first time, he's in Bangladesh. 1.00

01:26:30.000 Yeah, he was in like a, remember, save the children type thing.

01:26:36.000 Yes, yes.

01:26:37.000 I feel like I've given money.

01:26:40.000 To support whatever the Hulk is working.

01:26:42.000 Whatever Dr. Bruce Banner is working on. 0.99

01:26:44.000 And they come and get him with fucking rifles drawn and everything like that. 0.99

01:26:47.000 Didn't you realize? 1.00

01:26:48.000 You can't do that.

01:26:50.000 That violates the whole premise of what he is.

01:26:52.000 All he has to do is get mad.

01:26:54.000 Just read the dossier.

01:26:55.000 You don't have anything but guns?

01:26:56.000 How are you going to stop them?

01:26:58.000 They're like, don't move.

01:26:59.000 I'm like, oh Jesus, you got me.

01:27:00.000 No, you don't have...

01:27:01.000 Don't move!

01:27:02.000 Oh, don't move, really?

01:27:03.000 Don't move? 0.98

01:27:04.000 What if I fucking move? 0.99

01:27:05.000 What if I fucking... 0.99

01:27:08.000 What are they going to do? 1.00

01:27:08.000 They're going to shoot him before he moves? 1.00

01:27:10.000 They can't do anything. 1.00

01:27:11.000 It's stupid. 1.00

01:27:11.000 If you have bad news for the Hulk, wait until just the right moment to tell him. 1.00

01:27:16.000 And also your wife fucking somebody and then you fucking run off. 0.99

01:27:20.000 Well, maybe that would be the way that you would get him to stop being the Hulk. 1.00

01:27:22.000 Just give him ecstasy.

01:27:23.000 Oh, that's funny.

01:27:24.000 Yeah.

01:27:26.000 That's the new treatment for the Hulk. 0.75

01:27:28.000 Just keep him on very micro doses of ecstasy all day long.

01:27:31.000 I know a ketamine guy if you need that.

01:27:34.000 I also am a little mad that Lou Ferrigno is not involved, because he, to me, was the ultimate Hulk with the ripped jorts, the ripped jean shorts. 0.98

01:27:45.000 That is always going to be the problem with the Hulk, is how the fuck are those pants still on? 0.99

01:27:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:27:50.000 It should be a dick flapping. 1.00

01:27:51.000 Oh, for sure. 0.99

01:27:52.000 Mark, look, I can't even wear pants from someone who weighs 20 pounds less than me.

01:27:57.000 I can't.

01:27:57.000 Just to add to the 70s, it says brown corduroys.

01:28:01.000 That's how we used to do it back then, Joey. 1.00

01:28:03.000 Brown fucking corduroys. 0.99

01:28:05.000 Well, it was supposed to be purple. 1.00

01:28:06.000 The Hulk always had purple pants.

01:28:08.000 Oh, that's interesting. 0.99

01:28:09.000 For whatever weird fucking... 0.99

01:28:12.000 See, it's blue jeans. 0.99

01:28:13.000 But if you go to the cartoon Hulk, you'll see that he always had purple pants.

01:28:19.000 Green and purple are a better mix than green and brown.

01:28:21.000 Watch The Hulk's Pants.

01:28:23.000 P-A-N-T-S. You've watched Pumping Iron, right? 1.00

01:28:27.000 Look at that.

01:28:27.000 See?

01:28:28.000 Oh, he's purple.

01:28:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:28:29.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00

01:28:30.000 Yeah, I've seen Pumping Iron. 0.99

01:28:32.000 You see the new one?

01:28:32.000 Generation Iron?

01:28:33.000 No.

01:28:34.000 No.

01:28:35.000 Good?

01:28:35.000 It's on Netflix.

01:28:37.000 Yeah?

01:28:37.000 It's a banger.

01:28:38.000 Really?

01:28:39.000 It's a banger.

01:28:40.000 It's also got one of my favorite moments in a documentary ever, which if you want to bring it up, and you don't laugh at this, then you're not yourself.

01:28:48.000 This is like an alien test.

01:28:49.000 Like, no, this is Joe Rogan.

01:28:51.000 I believe it's Joe Rogan.

01:28:52.000 If you laugh at this...

01:28:53.000 Well, then now you're setting it up.

01:28:54.000 It's a weighted moment.

01:28:55.000 I know.

01:28:56.000 Is that good?

01:28:57.000 It's that good.

01:28:58.000 Wow.

01:28:58.000 It's the funniest moment I've ever seen in a documentary.

01:29:00.000 Really?

01:29:01.000 Yes.

01:29:02.000 Are you going to spoil it already?

01:29:03.000 No, I'm not going to spoil it already.

01:29:04.000 Should we play it?

01:29:05.000 Yeah, if you bring it up on Netflix, I will show you where it is.

01:29:09.000 Might not be able to do that.

01:29:11.000 It's 54 minutes in.

01:29:16.000 I recommend this clip a lot.

01:29:17.000 Don't you think the clip is probably on YouTube if it's that strong?

01:29:20.000 Maybe.

01:29:21.000 What is it?

01:29:22.000 Why don't you look up Generation Iron Horse.

01:29:26.000 Generation Iron Horse scene.

01:29:28.000 Separate words.

01:29:31.000 Interesting.

01:29:32.000 I stand by it.

01:29:33.000 So, is it just a new film about bodybuilders?

01:29:36.000 Yeah, it's a new film about bodybuilders.

01:29:37.000 Is this it?

01:29:37.000 Alright, back it up.

01:29:38.000 Back it up.

01:29:39.000 Pause it.

01:29:40.000 Okay. 1.00

01:29:41.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

01:29:42.000 You gotta hear the guy set it up. 1.00

01:29:44.000 Go all the way to the back of the clip.

01:29:46.000 I don't think it's long enough.

01:29:48.000 If you show me another one, the guy talks about...

01:29:52.000 You see what it is.

01:29:53.000 Uh-huh.

01:29:54.000 Guy riding a horse.

01:29:55.000 Right.

01:29:55.000 If you go back to...

01:30:01.000 And the thing is...

01:30:02.000 He talked about how he never gets injured.

01:30:05.000 He's literally talking about, I never get injured.

01:30:08.000 People say I get injured.

01:30:08.000 That wasn't even a real injury.

01:30:11.000 The past two injuries I've had weren't in the gym.

01:30:13.000 They were outside the gym.

01:30:14.000 So I haven't been hurting the gym since 2003. Come on.

01:30:22.000 Let's go.

01:30:23.000 Come on. 1.00

01:30:30.000 Oh shit, the horse is bucking him. 1.00

01:30:35.000 Son of a bitch! 1.00

01:30:41.000 The horse just decided enough. 1.00

01:30:42.000 Yeah, the horse has had enough of him talking about never being injured. 0.99

01:30:46.000 He's talking about not getting injured and the horse throws him off the fucking horse. 0.99

01:30:52.000 It's such fucking poetry to me. 1.00

01:30:54.000 And he lands hard. 0.99

01:30:55.000 He lands hard and says, oh Jesus, as he lands.

01:31:01.000 He's so big.

01:31:03.000 You would think that guy's like, well I guess he's kind of protecting a little bit, all that muscle.

01:31:08.000 Do you see that car accident sculpture?

01:31:11.000 Yes.

01:31:12.000 Yeah, that's right up your alley.

01:31:13.000 Yeah.

01:31:14.000 Well, explain what you're talking about.

01:31:15.000 There's an art installation.

01:31:18.000 Someone made a sculpture of what the human body would need to look like to withstand a car accident.

01:31:25.000 To evolve in order to be able to withstand car accidents. 0.98

01:31:30.000 I don't know how the fuck they figured this out, though. 0.95

01:31:32.000 That's one of the weird things. 0.98

01:31:33.000 I was like, why are their arms so skinny?

01:31:35.000 That's one image of it.

01:31:38.000 Because there's nothing important in the arms.

01:31:41.000 Yeah, bones though.

01:31:42.000 It's to protect your brain and your heart.

01:31:45.000 Is that what it is?

01:31:45.000 Yeah.

01:31:46.000 Why does it have nipples? 0.99

01:31:47.000 What are all those nipples all over the ribcage? 1.00

01:31:51.000 I think those are like padding. 0.99

01:31:53.000 Maybe those are nipples. 0.99

01:31:54.000 Whatever it is. 0.99

01:31:55.000 Those are like when you first get nipples when you're 14. What are those things? 0.98

01:32:02.000 Ridges?

01:32:05.000 Isn't it funny that what we look at today when we see a person, we think it's normal.

01:32:11.000 But it's just what we're used to.

01:32:13.000 It's just what happened.

01:32:14.000 It's just what we are. 0.99

01:32:15.000 I mean, people are fucking weird looking. 0.98

01:32:18.000 By the way, they didn't do this guy any favors with the facial hair and the haircut. 0.99

01:32:22.000 Yeah, it's a weird goatee.

01:32:23.000 Like, why?

01:32:24.000 Like, he looks extra monkey-ish.

01:32:26.000 He looks very odd. 0.98

01:32:28.000 It's really disgusting. 0.88

01:32:30.000 Yeah, it's a weird choice. 0.99

01:32:31.000 And also, like, the line to heaven down to his pecker. 0.50

01:32:35.000 That hairline?

01:32:36.000 Yeah.

01:32:36.000 It's a weird hair trail.

01:32:39.000 Like, what is going on there?

01:32:40.000 It looks like a constellation or something.

01:32:43.000 Yeah.

01:32:44.000 Or like a Tesla coil.

01:32:46.000 Yeah.

01:32:49.000 Radiating air.

01:32:50.000 Yeah, it's a, I don't know, I guess.

01:32:52.000 Do you have a Tesla?

01:32:54.000 You don't, right?

01:32:54.000 No, I do not.

01:32:55.000 Oh, you made the observation, or maybe it was you or Burr made the observation, what if there's a power outage?

01:33:00.000 Yeah, well, there's that for sure, but I drove one for a day, and I was shocked at how quick the battery went down.

01:33:06.000 Oh, really?

01:33:07.000 Yeah.

01:33:08.000 I drove it from here to my house, to the improv, to my house, to here again, and it was more than half dead.

01:33:18.000 And how many miles was it?

01:33:20.000 80?

01:33:20.000 100?

01:33:21.000 That's not even 60. That's too bad.

01:33:24.000 That's interesting.

01:33:25.000 Yeah, I mean, maybe 70, 80, maximum.

01:33:29.000 Maximum 80. And it was more than half dead.

01:33:32.000 So, like, when they say you can go 300 miles without a charge, or what are they saying?

01:33:36.000 250?

01:33:37.000 250 miles? 1.00

01:33:38.000 That's under ideal conditions on the highway, 65 miles an hour, drafting behind a fucking semi. 0.99

01:33:46.000 It's not stop-and-go traffic. 0.99

01:33:49.000 It's not speeding up, slowing down.

01:33:55.000 It's not lights.

01:33:57.000 It's not ready.

01:33:59.000 It's not ready.

01:34:00.000 I think it's ready.

01:34:01.000 I mean, depending on how far you need to go, half full is still pretty good.

01:34:04.000 Well, sure, you could use it.

01:34:05.000 Because the average person only drives 35 miles a day.

01:34:08.000 Yeah, I mean, for sure you could use it as a daily driver if you could plug it in every night.

01:34:12.000 But it's not ready for me to adopt.

01:34:14.000 It's just too limited.

01:34:16.000 The fact that it takes so long to recharge, like you can charge in for a certain amount of time and it'll give you like 80%, or the idea that maybe they could swap batteries.

01:34:25.000 You pull into a place and they take your batteries out and give you new batteries.

01:34:29.000 But then you've got to trust that they're connecting the batteries right.

01:34:32.000 You've got to trust that the batteries are good.

01:34:35.000 You gotta trust who had the batteries before.

01:34:37.000 Did anybody drop them or crack them? 1.00

01:34:38.000 Are they gonna light my fucking car on fire now? 0.99

01:34:40.000 Because that was one of the issues they were having with people in the room. 0.99

01:34:43.000 The Chevy Volt, I have, and there's been no...

01:34:45.000 I get 300 miles a gallon.

01:34:48.000 I've got...

01:34:48.000 That's a hybrid though, right?

01:34:49.000 Yeah.

01:34:50.000 Well, the Teslas, when they first came out, were developing issues where the underbody would get hit by rocks and would start fires.

01:34:58.000 And then, do you remember the Fisker?

01:35:00.000 Fisker Karma?

01:35:01.000 Yeah.

01:35:01.000 Do you know what killed that thing?

01:35:03.000 No, what happened?

01:35:04.000 Remember that big storm that hit the East Coast?

01:35:06.000 There was a big storm that hit the East Coast.

01:35:08.000 The sandy one?

01:35:09.000 Yeah, I think that was a couple years back.

01:35:11.000 Yeah.

01:35:12.000 Destroyed a lot of houses in Long Island.

01:35:14.000 Yeah, that was Hurricane Sandy.

01:35:15.000 They hit a port.

01:35:17.000 The storm hit a port where these things were parked.

01:35:20.000 And apparently, when they get up to door height in water, they explode.

01:35:27.000 Look at this.

01:35:28.000 This is the...

01:35:29.000 See that?

01:35:31.000 See all those fires going on over there in the distance across the river?

01:35:34.000 Oh, that's the Transformer.

01:35:35.000 That's not the cars.

01:35:36.000 That's the Transformer.

01:35:37.000 That's the Transformer on the East Village.

01:35:40.000 Is this a different video?

01:35:42.000 It says Sandy Con Ed Explosion.

01:35:44.000 Oh, you got the wrong...

01:35:46.000 But there's one that's like this.

01:35:48.000 It's pretty similar.

01:35:50.000 Find the video of the...

01:35:51.000 I heard you can't see any fires.

01:35:54.000 Maybe I'm wrong.

01:35:55.000 Maybe they don't have a video of it.

01:35:58.000 See if you can find it.

01:36:00.000 Anyway, point being, those things, when you get them wet, they blow up, which is not good.

01:36:04.000 No, it's not great.

01:36:05.000 People don't like that.

01:36:06.000 So that company went under.

01:36:07.000 Yeah, I have a Volt.

01:36:08.000 It's been great.

01:36:09.000 That's a good move.

01:36:10.000 Like, a hybrid is a really good move.

01:36:12.000 Yeah.

01:36:12.000 Because you get, like, gas and electricity, and you can kind of run on both.

01:36:16.000 40 electricity every charge, and I can charge it in four hours for a full charge.

01:36:21.000 And pickups good, drives good. 0.94

01:36:24.000 Yeah, I'm not like, I never really need, like, the only time I'm using pickup is when I'm driving like a dickhead. 0.94

01:36:30.000 Right. 0.84

01:36:31.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:36:31.000 So if I try not to drive like that, but if I'm cutting people off and doing shit like that, then you need, yeah, I need pickup because I'm an asshole. 1.00

01:36:38.000 Right. 0.99

01:36:38.000 But for the most part, I don't need pickup, like, day to day. 0.99

01:36:42.000 You can only go so fast.

01:36:44.000 Well, one of the cool things about a Tesla is the idea of driverless driving. 0.98

01:36:48.000 That is fucking amazing. 0.95

01:36:50.000 And I don't blame Tesla at all for the guy dying recently. 0.99

01:36:54.000 The autopilot one.

01:36:57.000 I think they've determined that autopilot didn't have anything to do with that.

01:37:00.000 He was watching Harry Potter.

01:37:02.000 He was?

01:37:03.000 Yeah.

01:37:03.000 It was proven.

01:37:05.000 It was still playing.

01:37:06.000 It was like Greg Giraldo's joke about...

01:37:08.000 About rappers watching porn when they get into an accident and they're on the side of the road and the porn is still playing. 0.99

01:37:15.000 Rappers watching porn? 0.99

01:37:16.000 I think it was rappers. 0.99

01:37:17.000 It was people having...

01:37:20.000 Everyone on Cribs had monitors in their cars.

01:37:24.000 In their SUVs. 1.00

01:37:26.000 And he was talking about if you got into an accident and you're dying and it's still playing fucking dumb shit on your monitor. 1.00

01:37:30.000 It's still playing porn? 1.00

01:37:31.000 Yeah, I think it was porn. 0.96

01:37:33.000 There was a guy who got killed in Michigan. 1.00

01:37:35.000 He was jerking off while he was driving. 0.99

01:37:37.000 His car flipped. 0.99

01:37:38.000 He was jerking off to his phone.

01:37:39.000 Just wait, man. 0.60

01:37:40.000 Yeah, he can't wait.

01:37:41.000 His car flipped and he died and he died with his pants down.

01:37:44.000 His phone was still playing the porn when they pulled his lifeless body from the wreckage.

01:37:50.000 That's a long clip, by the way.

01:37:52.000 More than a dozen Fisker Karma hybrids caught fire and exploded. 1.00

01:37:55.000 No video, just pictures, I guess.

01:37:56.000 So we're wrong.

01:37:57.000 Yeah.

01:37:57.000 So we have false memories.

01:37:59.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:37:59.000 God damn it. 0.99

01:38:00.000 That's what happened with Trump on 9-11. 0.99

01:38:02.000 Yes.

01:38:03.000 Didn't he help?

01:38:04.000 Celebrators.

01:38:05.000 Oh, yeah.

01:38:05.000 In New Jersey.

01:38:06.000 Saw him all the way across the river.

01:38:08.000 Yeah.

01:38:09.000 Well, some people must have celebrated.

01:38:10.000 So what?

01:38:12.000 I don't think anybody was so...

01:38:14.000 I mean, I don't think anybody in Jersey... 0.94

01:38:15.000 I'm sure people were like, yes, but I don't think people were going outside and fucking... 0.96

01:38:19.000 Who knows? 0.99

01:38:20.000 Because that'll get you popped.

01:38:21.000 Maybe.

01:38:22.000 Back then, they didn't know.

01:38:23.000 Well, no one... 0.98

01:38:24.000 I mean, that's a fucking chaotic moment to be able to predict what's going to happen. 0.98

01:38:28.000 Yeah, who did it. 0.99

01:38:29.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:38:30.000 Who knows what was going on then?

01:38:31.000 They didn't know.

01:38:32.000 When that first happened...

01:38:34.000 Yeah.

01:38:34.000 I mean, they could have been, instead of celebrating, they could have been just going, whoa, that's crazy!

01:38:39.000 Yeah.

01:38:39.000 Well, you know what's funny is I think I saw it happen, but I was in Paris and I saw, like, someone said, like, I am very sorry what happened to your country.

01:38:50.000 And I was like, what are you talking about?

01:38:51.000 Like, the World Trade Center?

01:38:52.000 And I'm like, what?

01:38:53.000 And then I ran to a monitor and saw, but in my head...

01:38:58.000 I saw it live, but I just didn't.

01:39:01.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:39:02.000 Like, that's the faultiness of memories, which is creepy. 0.99

01:39:06.000 That you can't, it's like you say shit with absolutely no certainty at this point. 0.99

01:39:10.000 Memories are very bad. 1.00

01:39:12.000 Yeah.

01:39:12.000 And I have some super clear memories that I can verify, but I've also got a lot of fuzzy ones.

01:39:19.000 And the problem is when people start attaching all sorts of emotions and all sorts of different things to memories and then they start distorting them and then repeating the distortion of the memory till that becomes the memory and then in their mind like there's people that have been involved in business deals and they think that they were so wronged and everything went so terrible and this piece of shit and then my wife left me and then when you break down to them no no no that didn't happen at all This is what happened.

01:39:49.000 Like, they don't want to hear the real... 0.94

01:39:51.000 Right, and those are people, I think, that are a little bit crazy.

01:39:53.000 I'm talking about, you ever be arguing with your wife, and you're like, I didn't say that, and then you think like, did I say that?

01:40:00.000 Especially if you're barely paying attention.

01:40:03.000 That's the key.

01:40:04.000 Long-term relationship keys, just gotta be able to hit the fade button, and they just...

01:40:09.000 Do you think that's helpful?

01:40:10.000 They drown out.

01:40:11.000 And do you think she realizes it?

01:40:13.000 What?

01:40:13.000 Do you think she knows that?

01:40:14.000 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:40:15.000 What did you say?

01:40:16.000 What did you say?

01:40:16.000 Yeah, you just fade out.

01:40:19.000 But that's exactly the kind of conversations you start having.

01:40:21.000 Like, what did you just say?

01:40:22.000 I just lost everything.

01:40:24.000 What did you say?

01:40:24.000 Yeah, I crashed.

01:40:26.000 So then we're going to light it all on fire.

01:40:27.000 What?

01:40:28.000 Yeah.

01:40:28.000 Okay, now I have to pay attention.

01:40:30.000 What are you going to light on fire?

01:40:31.000 Who's going to light what on fire?

01:40:33.000 Yeah, but that's the thing about relationships.

01:40:34.000 It's all kind of important, but none of it's that important.

01:40:37.000 In retrospect.

01:40:39.000 Hindsight.

01:40:40.000 But in the day, on the second of, it's...

01:40:42.000 Sometimes.

01:40:43.000 Yeah.

01:40:43.000 The most nonsensical thing could be so important, Neil Brennan.

01:40:47.000 Yeah.

01:40:47.000 So important.

01:40:48.000 You have many daughters.

01:40:50.000 Well, my situation is pretty comfortable and easy to manage, but I have some friends that have some bad relationships with their wives, and it's basically when they get together, it's just who's going to win today's wrestling match. 0.94

01:41:03.000 How many people do you know with marriages that you envy?

01:41:07.000 Let's say you weren't married.

01:41:11.000 That's a good question.

01:41:12.000 Not many.

01:41:12.000 Because that's the thing.

01:41:13.000 Not many.

01:41:16.000 Most of them, especially from the outside, it looks like way too much work.

01:41:20.000 Yeah.

01:41:21.000 And it looks like disastrous happenings once it breaks off, which is different than a boyfriend-girlfriend.

01:41:28.000 If a guy and a girl are dating, and they just decide to call it off, like, this isn't working, that's it.

01:41:34.000 Yeah, there's very little cleanup.

01:41:37.000 Yeah, well, that's it.

01:41:38.000 Yeah.

01:41:38.000 But if you are some man or some woman even, like a woman who makes a shitload of money, and she has a husband that's kind of a layabout, and then...

01:41:48.000 That's starting to happen, by the way. 0.99

01:41:49.000 Fuck yeah, it is. 1.00

01:41:50.000 Fuck yeah, it is. 1.00

01:41:51.000 And then all of a sudden this dude wants a ton of alimony. 1.00

01:41:54.000 Yeah.

01:41:55.000 Like, whew.

01:41:56.000 Yeah.

01:41:57.000 Like, Jesus Christ.

01:41:58.000 And this woman, who doesn't even like this guy anymore, has to pay him, you know, 10% or 15% of her salary every week, and she's just like, I can't even believe this.

01:42:09.000 Like, that has always been the case with men and women. 0.94

01:42:13.000 With the man having to pay the woman. 0.67

01:42:16.000 Alimony's been around forever, right?

01:42:17.000 Child support, alimony.

01:42:18.000 But now that it's, in more and more cases, becoming the woman paying the man. 0.72

01:42:22.000 Talk to Roseanne Barr about how much she had to pay Tom Arnold.

01:42:26.000 And you're like, what?

01:42:29.000 It's legalized stealing mixed in with prostitution.

01:42:34.000 It's a long con prostitution. 1.00

01:42:37.000 Yeah, in many ways.

01:42:39.000 And it's involving the legal system and the banks. 0.99

01:42:42.000 And as soon as there's a system that's set up where people are profiting off that system, good luck prying it from their fucking hands. 0.98

01:42:50.000 That's the political system that we have right now, but it's also the marriage system. 1.00

01:42:55.000 If you've talked to someone who's gone through horrific divorces and had to deal with the financial implications or complications, it gets insane.

01:43:04.000 Well, that's what a buddy of mine was like.

01:43:05.000 My wife, the sad thing is, the deal she's going to get, I offered her two years ago.

01:43:11.000 But she's just dragging it out.

01:43:13.000 They want to drag it out because it costs you money in legal fees, too.

01:43:15.000 That's right.

01:43:16.000 And you're still connected to them, and they're punishing you if you want to get the divorce, even if you don't want to get the divorce.

01:43:22.000 Exactly.

01:43:23.000 There's a reason why they want to get divorced. 1.00

01:43:25.000 They're mad at you for some shit. 0.99

01:43:27.000 My friend has to pay his ex-wife for the rest of her life. 1.00

01:43:32.000 And he has a new wife.

01:43:33.000 He has a family.

01:43:34.000 He's got kids.

01:43:35.000 She doesn't have a new husband, though.

01:43:36.000 No.

01:43:37.000 If she has a new husband, then the money cuts off. 0.99

01:43:40.000 So he has to pay her hundreds of thousands of dollars Every single year for the rest of her life. 0.99

01:43:46.000 It's almost like he fucked her so hard she can't work anymore. 0.99

01:43:50.000 That's what the court's saying. 1.00

01:43:52.000 Well, that's what it is.

01:43:53.000 How feeble were, I guess, societally...

01:43:59.000 Women had it so much worse in the 70s when these laws were made. 1.00

01:44:03.000 But it seems like there needs to be some kind of correction.

01:44:06.000 You can't have it so that if a guy is married to a woman, he has been not married to her more than he has been married to her.

01:44:15.000 He was married to her for like 12 years.

01:44:17.000 He's been divorced for like 14. But it doesn't matter.

01:44:21.000 He still owes all that money.

01:44:25.000 Like because they broke up, He has to pay her because they went past 12 years being married or whatever the number was.

01:44:32.000 He has to pay her for the rest of her time on earth.

01:44:36.000 Like, he might not have any relationship to her.

01:44:39.000 He is responsible for her survival forever.

01:44:42.000 And not just survival, but living really well.

01:44:45.000 Like, that's stealing.

01:44:47.000 I guess the question is, how important were the women who got these laws passed? 1.00

01:44:52.000 Meaning, what do you think you're doing That is entitling you to this money.

01:44:58.000 And this goes for men now, too.

01:44:59.000 Because it's like, well, how good of a husband are you that you deserve half of her income forever? 0.99

01:45:06.000 Clearly you weren't that good because shit didn't work. 1.00

01:45:08.000 Right. 1.00

01:45:08.000 So there should be a penalty right there. 1.00

01:45:10.000 There's not.

01:45:11.000 I don't think they usually get half forever.

01:45:13.000 Or whatever.

01:45:14.000 But they get a giant chunk.

01:45:15.000 Yeah, a chunk and then a stipend.

01:45:18.000 Yeah, they get a monthly payment.

01:45:20.000 It's just strange that someone could...

01:45:23.000 People meet each other and then it doesn't work out anymore.

01:45:26.000 They like each other, they spend time, then they don't want to spend time.

01:45:29.000 And when they don't want to spend time, to all of a sudden legally obligate them to send money.

01:45:34.000 We're not talking about someone who, by virtue of their relationship, could no longer move her body. 0.99

01:45:42.000 If a man and a woman gets together, the man has to pay because once a man starts fucking a woman, they eventually go paralyzed. 1.00

01:45:46.000 It's just how it works. 1.00

01:45:48.000 It's just nature.

01:45:49.000 Yeah, if that was the case, well, yeah, you have to take responsibility for having sex because the man does something to the woman's body. 0.99

01:45:54.000 By the way, guys would still claim, like, I didn't even, that wasn't even me, man. 0.99

01:45:58.000 Other guys are fucking harder. 0.97

01:46:00.000 You think I'm the only one? 1.00

01:46:01.000 You think I could even fuck a woman fucking into a vegetable? 1.00

01:46:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:46:07.000 It's stealing.

01:46:08.000 But it's also like you're cornering a person and forcing them to just get thrust into this weird legal system.

01:46:17.000 So this weird legal system...

01:46:20.000 As this thing is spiraling down, the legal system is pulling money out of it.

01:46:27.000 So there's this guy who's earning all this money.

01:46:31.000 He works 12 hours every day.

01:46:33.000 He's constantly hustling and doing deals and this and that, and he's putting it all together.

01:46:38.000 And while he's getting divorced to this woman...

01:46:41.000 They're going through the court system, and the court system in this two-year fight is spinning this whole thing back and forth, and you need to get more, man, because you have to consider his earning potential is going to increase over the next few years, and it wouldn't have happened if you weren't around.

01:46:58.000 I mean, your stability in the relationship is part of the reason why he had the confidence to pursue these business deals, and you should be compensated for it.

01:47:04.000 Well, that's what I wonder.

01:47:04.000 Who were these wonderful Lawyers.

01:47:22.000 Or argue the laws, for sure.

01:47:24.000 There's a strong benefit to there being an extreme financial consequence for getting divorced.

01:47:30.000 A strong benefit to the people that profit from taking people to divorce court.

01:47:35.000 And by the way, that benefit doesn't exist Like, the other way.

01:47:41.000 Like, if your lawyer saves you a fuckload of money, he doesn't get a percentage of what he saves you.

01:47:47.000 Yeah.

01:47:48.000 But if the lawyer on the other side, if they can figure out a way to get the court to rob you, like, and you've got to give your wife $50 million or something like that, that lawyer gets a chunk of that.

01:48:01.000 Mm-hmm.

01:48:01.000 Like, he gets paid if he's successful.

01:48:03.000 They're incentivized for the law to remain what it is.

01:48:06.000 Right, to attack the rich guy, to attack the man or the rich woman, the resound bar situation.

01:48:11.000 But that's the way they get the money.

01:48:13.000 They don't get the money if you don't get penalized. 1.00

01:48:16.000 Like, if you go into the case scot-free and, you know, and go, I'm not paying that bitch shit. 1.00

01:48:22.000 This relationship is over. 1.00

01:48:24.000 And the jury says, we agree.

01:48:26.000 Mr. Brennan, you can rock. 1.00

01:48:28.000 And so you're like, that's right, bitch. 1.00

01:48:30.000 All you're doing is going to pay your lawyer's hourly rates. 0.99

01:48:32.000 And there's no financial benefit to getting this done quickly. 0.99

01:48:38.000 The financial benefit is to drag this fucking thing off for two years and then let you know, hey, we got out of it. 0.98

01:48:44.000 And the law is the law. 0.99

01:48:45.000 It's like mandatory minimum sentencing.

01:48:48.000 Exactly.

01:48:48.000 There's nothing they can really do unless you have a prenup or you can get a litigator or whatever the...

01:48:59.000 We're a mediator.

01:49:01.000 I think you can pay less than normal with a mediator.

01:49:05.000 There's also...

01:49:06.000 Here's another situation.

01:49:08.000 Someone was talking to me about a Donald Sterling type sugar daddy situation.

01:49:12.000 And they were saying that it's awful that these men get preyed upon by these vicious women. 1.00

01:49:18.000 I'm like, if you don't know that that girl is fucking you because you're rich, if you have... 1.00

01:49:26.000 A hundred billion dollars, and you're 90 years old, and this girl tells you she loves you, and she's with you all the time, she's acting perfect, you don't know that she wants that money. 1.00

01:49:36.000 And by the way, if she's fucking you, she deserves a lot of money. 1.00

01:49:40.000 At least as much as you're gonna get. 1.00

01:49:42.000 At least half.

01:49:42.000 Yes!

01:49:43.000 If you're a Donald Sterling type character and you've got some 25 year old super hot stripper that you're laying pipe to, you gotta pay her a lot. 0.99

01:49:52.000 Because what she's doing is, first of all, very difficult to do. 0.99

01:49:56.000 She's pretending to be attracted to you and you're disgusting. 0.98

01:50:00.000 It's acting and basically surgery. 0.98

01:50:04.000 It's the worst parts of acting and surgery.

01:50:09.000 And it's super valuable to you.

01:50:11.000 Like if you're that old rich guy and you have a 25 year old wife.

01:50:14.000 You can get anything on earth except young girls. 1.00

01:50:18.000 You gotta pay.

01:50:19.000 Literally you can get anything you want.

01:50:21.000 Like Lamborghinis cost less.

01:50:23.000 They're more accessible to you than a young girl that's actually attracted to you.

01:50:27.000 A young girl that's actually attracted to you doesn't exist. 0.79

01:50:30.000 They're unicorns.

01:50:30.000 Yes.

01:50:31.000 It's a leprechaun.

01:50:32.000 Yes.

01:50:33.000 Mythical creatures.

01:50:35.000 They do not exist.

01:50:37.000 Only in your imagination do they exist. 0.99

01:50:39.000 But if you keep her, like, constantly, like, covered in diamonds and furs and whatever the fuck she needs and crocodile skin purses and Chinese named shoes and whatever the fuck you need. 1.00

01:50:52.000 Do you believe that it is possible to be legitimately attracted to a Donald Sterling type? 0.99

01:50:59.000 I think there are women with big enough father issues that like, yeah, I'm legitimately attracted to him like I would be a 20-year-old.

01:51:06.000 I would never say that anything when it comes to attraction is impossible.

01:51:11.000 Yes, exactly. 0.99

01:51:11.000 Because there's chubby chasers, there's people that are into weird shit, man. 0.99

01:51:15.000 There's people that are into weird shit. 1.00

01:51:17.000 And there's a lot of women that find older men hot. 1.00

01:51:20.000 They like the idea of some white-haired old dude laying dick into them. 1.00

01:51:25.000 Whoa! 1.00

01:51:27.000 Who knows, man?

01:51:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:51:29.000 Yeah, people like weird shit. 1.00

01:51:30.000 People like furries. 1.00

01:51:32.000 There's a lot of people that are really into being a furry.

01:51:34.000 I also have no problem with prostitution on its face.

01:51:40.000 Like, I don't have a...

01:51:40.000 Like, why do I care?

01:51:41.000 Why is it okay to get a massage? 0.98

01:51:43.000 It's not okay to get a handjob. 0.97

01:51:44.000 Right. 0.98

01:51:45.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:51:46.000 Stupid. 1.00

01:51:46.000 It's too good. 1.00

01:51:47.000 Yeah.

01:51:48.000 Well, we're regulating sex like we're Puritans. 0.81

01:51:51.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:51:51.000 It's preposterous. 0.96

01:51:52.000 But it's also...

01:51:54.000 You have to think, if it was legal, would it encourage or would it discourage the sex trade?

01:52:00.000 Like, in terms of, like, you have to worry about, like, sex slaves.

01:52:04.000 You know, those are real issues.

01:52:07.000 And it's an issue that's completely unresolved, because people on both sides of it claim they're right, and they both seem to have a good argument. 0.98

01:52:14.000 And then also the argument is, like, isn't it possible that there's a big fucking difference between a sex slave and a woman who, like, maybe she's like a young girl living in New York City, the rent's really high, she decides to fuck some rich guys for money. 0.98

01:52:26.000 Like, why is that worse than working at Denny's? 0.99

01:52:30.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:52:31.000 Why is it worse?

01:52:32.000 I would go a step further, which is, let's say it is an emotional problem.

01:52:37.000 She was molested, she gets treated, whatever. 0.99

01:52:41.000 That's no different than the reason most people I know are in showbiz.

01:52:47.000 And I don't see anyone picketing that.

01:52:49.000 That's true.

01:52:50.000 It's based on an emotional stunt.

01:52:52.000 Right.

01:52:53.000 And why is it sex?

01:52:55.000 Why is sex the only thing that you can't take money for?

01:52:59.000 Because Jesus.

01:53:00.000 That's really why.

01:53:02.000 Because Jesus.

01:53:03.000 Come on, man.

01:53:03.000 That's a weird thing that sex is the only thing that you can't take money for ever.

01:53:07.000 You can't take money for it.

01:53:09.000 Yeah.

01:53:09.000 But you can.

01:53:11.000 You just gotta be slick about it.

01:53:13.000 You can, yeah.

01:53:13.000 Well, they dress it up.

01:53:15.000 They call it dinner.

01:53:16.000 Yeah, if a girl's your sugar baby. 1.00

01:53:19.000 Yeah.

01:53:20.000 Is it sugar baby?

01:53:20.000 No, sugar would be they would pay.

01:53:23.000 Sugar daddy and sugar baby is your baby.

01:53:25.000 Is that what it is?

01:53:26.000 Sugar daddy, yeah.

01:53:27.000 Okay.

01:53:27.000 So, whatever the girl's name, whatever you would call her, if she's dating some super billionaire type Richard Branson type character and he just gives her a salary, Like, what if she's got a salary?

01:53:39.000 It's like, look, baby, you get $5,000 a week to just go crazy with and give you a credit card.

01:53:44.000 It's got a $50,000 limit. 1.00

01:53:46.000 Here's your fucking Bentley. 1.00

01:53:47.000 Here's the keys. 1.00

01:53:48.000 You're all set.

01:53:49.000 Woo! 0.99

01:53:50.000 She's on the payroll. 1.00

01:53:51.000 Is that a prostitute? 1.00

01:53:53.000 Roger Ailes, the guy at Fox News, had that. 0.99

01:53:56.000 He did?

01:53:56.000 On staff, yeah.

01:53:57.000 And it was an open secret.

01:53:59.000 How many did he have?

01:54:00.000 He had one, but then he would just harass everybody else.

01:54:03.000 Really?

01:54:03.000 Yeah, she was on staff for years.

01:54:05.000 She was a researcher.

01:54:06.000 Researcher.

01:54:07.000 Yeah.

01:54:07.000 Maybe she really was a researcher.

01:54:08.000 I'm sure she must have done something worthwhile.

01:54:11.000 Yeah, definitely.

01:54:14.000 At least something.

01:54:16.000 Something to write up a memo or something.

01:54:18.000 Is that a business partner? 0.93

01:54:21.000 Well, that's the thing of, like, this thing of sex.

01:54:24.000 If you look at sex as this holy sacrament, then it is—if you look at every ejaculation as a holy sacrament, which the church would have you believe, and then they get into government and they make laws, whatever, then it's not legal.

01:54:38.000 But if you look at it like a milking or even a teeth cleaning or a haircut— Or anything that you need, any service that you need fairly regularly, then all laws are nonsense for the most part.

01:54:55.000 Isn't part of the problem, too, is the immediately accessible nature of the sex is troublesome to some people? 0.81

01:55:02.000 Because if you have a relationship with someone who's basically fucking you for your money, at least you have this relationship with them and you hang out with them for long periods of time. 0.87

01:55:12.000 You have to spend time with them. 0.99

01:55:12.000 There's a lot of time that's not having sex. 0.99

01:55:15.000 So you actually have to be friends with them in some sort of a way. 0.96

01:55:18.000 But the sex for money thing, you just show up and you go, yeah, I'd like to pay for sex. 0.99

01:55:24.000 And then you go and you have the sex and you're like, here's your money, thanks, bye. 0.97

01:55:28.000 People have a problem with the brevity of it.

01:55:30.000 Like, well, he's not even entangled here.

01:55:32.000 Yes, it's too transactional.

01:55:35.000 It goes against God.

01:55:38.000 To their minds, it goes against God.

01:55:40.000 It's like, that's not what God...

01:55:41.000 God wants you to sit there and be bored.

01:55:44.000 Yeah.

01:55:45.000 And go on a drive and help listen to their... 1.00

01:55:48.000 They listen to your stupid stories. 1.00

01:55:50.000 You listen to their stupid stories. 1.00

01:55:52.000 You bore the fuck out of each other. 1.00

01:55:53.000 You comfort each other. 0.97

01:55:54.000 Those are the rules.

01:55:55.000 Yeah.

01:55:55.000 That's how we do things.

01:55:57.000 That's the fucking rules. 1.00

01:55:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:55:59.000 You can't just be going in there all willy-nilly, getting paid money for sex. 0.99

01:56:03.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:56:03.000 It's too... 0.97

01:56:04.000 It's like too...

01:56:05.000 And I guess because...

01:56:08.000 Sex can create life. 0.63

01:56:09.000 You know, the other thing is the pill is pretty new, man.

01:56:12.000 That's true, too.

01:56:12.000 You know?

01:56:13.000 Abortion and the pill are both pretty new, and the laws haven't really caught up.

01:56:17.000 Well, it's just, you shouldn't be able to tell people what they can or can't do with their body that doesn't hurt anybody other than them.

01:56:25.000 Yeah.

01:56:25.000 Like, you can't tell someone that they can't play rugby.

01:56:28.000 You can't say, no, you can't play rugby, because rugby, they run into each other, and you're gonna get hurt.

01:56:32.000 What do you think's gonna happen in the NFL? I don't know enough about it, but what I do know is that there's a lot of people that have some serious fucking brain damage from playing football. 0.98

01:56:44.000 There's no doubt about it. 0.97

01:56:46.000 I've met people that have played for it, that are pretty open about it, and then I met Michael Irvin.

01:56:52.000 I don't know what issues he suffered from it, but that guy is sharp as a tack.

01:56:57.000 He's sharp as a tack when you talk to him.

01:56:59.000 Well, he offset it with cocaine.

01:57:00.000 Is that what it is?

01:57:01.000 Balance it out?

01:57:02.000 I don't know now, but yeah.

01:57:04.000 Super intelligent, analytical guy.

01:57:06.000 A lot of them are very smart, but it's a late-onset thing for a lot of guys.

01:57:10.000 Yeah, no, for sure.

01:57:12.000 I was talking to a guy who plays, and he was saying, like, I said something about he plays whatever, and he goes, yeah.

01:57:18.000 He's like, it's not that hard. 1.00

01:57:20.000 He goes, on offense, you have to remember more shit. 0.99

01:57:25.000 He goes, but there are times on defense where I'll... 1.00

01:57:29.000 Blackout and not know what's going on.

01:57:31.000 And you just keep playing.

01:57:34.000 Which is like, phew.

01:57:35.000 Jesus.

01:57:36.000 Yeah, it's like, alright.

01:57:38.000 So is the blackout from memory or from stress?

01:57:41.000 It's from impact.

01:57:42.000 Jesus Christ.

01:57:44.000 Yeah, cranial impact.

01:57:45.000 And it sounds like that's all of them.

01:57:47.000 He didn't say it like...

01:57:48.000 He said it completely, like, conversationally.

01:57:51.000 He didn't say it like...

01:57:54.000 Right.

01:57:54.000 I've got a problem, mister.

01:57:55.000 Oh, man.

01:57:56.000 Well, I think they're used to so much trauma.

01:57:59.000 Yeah.

01:57:59.000 They're used to running at each other full clip.

01:58:02.000 Yeah.

01:58:02.000 We don't think of it as being the most violent sport because we think of MMA as being more violent because you're actually trying to hit the person.

01:58:09.000 That's the goal is to try to hurt them with your hands or your feet.

01:58:12.000 Yeah.

01:58:13.000 But it's not nearly as powerful, someone running into you.

01:58:16.000 Like, someone running into you, that's a crazy amount of force.

01:58:19.000 Into your head, with their head.

01:58:21.000 I think that's where the league may be headed, is no helmets.

01:58:24.000 Sometimes they go flying through the air, like you see guys get clipped.

01:58:28.000 And spin.

01:58:29.000 And they spin, or they disgravitate.

01:58:32.000 Somebody just knocked a 200-plus pound man through the air like a pillow.

01:58:37.000 Yeah.

01:58:38.000 Like, that's a car accident.

01:58:40.000 Yeah.

01:58:40.000 That guy just got hit by a truck.

01:58:41.000 He got hit by a 300 pound truck.

01:58:44.000 Every play I think someone died.

01:58:47.000 I'm not even kidding.

01:58:48.000 When you watch it, you go, oh, that guy's dead.

01:58:51.000 He's definitely dead.

01:58:52.000 I know I'd be dead if that happened to me. 0.99

01:58:54.000 But it goes to that weird thing where they have powerful, more powerful fucking mandibles and weird muscles. 0.99

01:59:02.000 I think they build up a tolerance. 0.99

01:59:04.000 I don't know about all that.

01:59:06.000 I think after a while they all just go down.

01:59:08.000 What is this?

01:59:11.000 Oh, my God.

01:59:12.000 Yeah.

01:59:13.000 Jesus Christ.

01:59:14.000 Look, they're running at each other.

01:59:15.000 Running.

01:59:16.000 Here comes another guy.

01:59:17.000 Look out.

01:59:17.000 Boom.

01:59:19.000 Boom.

01:59:20.000 Oh, that was just a good play.

01:59:20.000 That's nothing.

01:59:21.000 That was an excellent play.

01:59:22.000 Oh, that was good.

01:59:23.000 But look, there's something dope about it, right?

01:59:26.000 Like with this guy.

01:59:27.000 Oh, my God.

01:59:28.000 He took a hard hit there, and he kept going.

01:59:30.000 It's completely elemental.

01:59:32.000 It's the most basic instinct ever.

01:59:35.000 In the world.

01:59:36.000 It's like running from a scary thing.

01:59:38.000 Yeah.

01:59:39.000 That's true.

01:59:40.000 There's that element of it that works.

01:59:42.000 It's so primal that you're like, God, it's so exciting.

01:59:45.000 Oh! 0.60

01:59:46.000 Yeah.

01:59:48.000 That guy got lambasted.

01:59:50.000 Yeah, there's something about you're running from someone who's trying to harm you as well.

01:59:55.000 It's the most basic. 0.99

01:59:56.000 Some primal shit. 1.00

01:59:56.000 Yeah, primal, the monster, the lion, the whatever's coming to get you. 1.00

02:00:01.000 And then there's the warfare element, like the ground warfare of capturing, taking the hill or whatever.

02:00:09.000 I get why it works.

02:00:11.000 I think they just gotta get rid of the helmets.

02:00:13.000 It's amazingly difficult to maneuver your body the way these guys are doing.

02:00:18.000 Yeah.

02:00:18.000 Did you watch the OJ documentary?

02:00:20.000 No.

02:00:21.000 One of the big takeaways is how good OJ was at football.

02:00:31.000 Because I'm not old enough to remember O.J. playing football.

02:00:34.000 So I heard he ran for 2,000 yards, but one of the episodes, five parts, one of the parts is basically just about that, about how nice he was at football.

02:00:45.000 Wow.

02:00:45.000 And he did it in 14 games, and he was like, it's crazy.

02:00:52.000 Well, you know, one of his doctors said that if he had to rerun the trial today, he would bring up CTE. Yeah.

02:01:00.000 Which is...

02:01:01.000 That's a weird thing to do because then they would have to admit that he actually did it because the trial...

02:01:06.000 Yeah.

02:01:07.000 But can you let...

02:01:08.000 Yeah, then they have to make a law about that.

02:01:11.000 What's weird, too, because we all know he's in jail for those murders.

02:01:14.000 Yeah.

02:01:15.000 They ain't calling it that.

02:01:16.000 They're not calling it that?

02:01:16.000 No.

02:01:17.000 No, they found a loophole, and they're like, yeah, I don't see any reason to not use this.

02:01:21.000 He's in jail for souvenirs.

02:01:23.000 He's in jail for...

02:01:24.000 That's a really...

02:01:25.000 The fifth part, if you've got to watch it, by the way, I demand it.

02:01:29.000 Okay.

02:01:29.000 I absolutely demand it.

02:01:31.000 Because it recontextualizes something that you think you know everything about.

02:01:34.000 Right.

02:01:35.000 And it talks to Mark Furman.

02:01:37.000 Mark Furman's justification for not being racist is...

02:01:41.000 I'm not racist.

02:01:42.000 When I was out on the street, if somebody wanted to go with me, I'd fight him straight up.

02:01:47.000 And that's his reasoning.

02:01:49.000 Like, so therefore, I'm not racist.

02:01:54.000 Where you're just like, woo!

02:01:55.000 But at the same time, I kind of like Mark Furman after watching the movie.

02:01:58.000 Really?

02:01:58.000 Kind of.

02:01:59.000 Like, meaning, I understood his...

02:02:02.000 He makes sense to himself.

02:02:05.000 You know what I mean?

02:02:06.000 Like, you see his lodge and go, alright, I know why he thinks the way he thinks.

02:02:11.000 But, uh, not like I'm a fan of the guy, but you know what I mean.

02:02:14.000 I hear you.

02:02:15.000 I know what you're saying.

02:02:16.000 But, uh, but, yeah, like, it's an amazing movie.

02:02:19.000 And could you, could, if they did say it was CTE... Then we kind of lost the book.

02:02:25.000 It's like temporary insanity.

02:02:26.000 Right.

02:02:27.000 Well, not really.

02:02:28.000 You'd have to really quantify what kind of an effect CTE had on him.

02:02:33.000 You'd have to be able to figure it out.

02:02:35.000 Like, is it responsible for you going, man, I don't know.

02:02:38.000 Should I? And take that from, man, I'm thinking about doing this, too.

02:02:42.000 Or is it completely responsible?

02:02:45.000 Like, how much of the CTE is responsible for your decision-making process?

02:02:48.000 Yeah.

02:02:49.000 Well, there are guys that say they black out behaviorally.

02:02:52.000 They black out.

02:02:53.000 And you have to believe them.

02:02:55.000 You have to think that there's for sure going to be some severe neurological implications of getting smashed in the head over and over again by big gigantic dudes like that.

02:03:08.000 CTE suffering.

02:03:09.000 You must have gotten a bunch of concussions, right?

02:03:11.000 For sure. 0.99

02:03:11.000 What were the vomiting and grogginess and all that shit? 0.99

02:03:15.000 I don't know, man. 0.99

02:03:16.000 I don't know. 0.93

02:03:16.000 I do remember sparring sessions, just sparring sessions, where I got my bell rang and I'd go home and lay in bed and my fucking head would be throbbing and aching, just boom, boom, boom, just sitting there. 0.93

02:03:29.000 Every heartbeat. 0.97

02:03:30.000 And you're thinking, what am I doing with my brain?

02:03:33.000 That's what I was thinking.

02:03:34.000 Yeah.

02:03:35.000 There's not even any money in this. 0.74

02:03:37.000 I'm getting punched in the head all the time. 0.60

02:03:39.000 Yeah.

02:03:39.000 Because I was doing a lot of sparring.

02:03:41.000 Oof.

02:03:42.000 And wearing headgear?

02:03:44.000 No!

02:03:45.000 No!

02:03:45.000 God, no!

02:03:46.000 Why?

02:03:46.000 Headgear, I couldn't see kicks coming.

02:03:48.000 I didn't like headgear.

02:03:49.000 Headgear's weird when you're throwing kicks.

02:03:51.000 Would other guys wear them?

02:03:52.000 Guys wear them.

02:03:53.000 I mean, a lot of UFC fighters wear them.

02:03:55.000 A lot of people don't.

02:03:56.000 I had a problem with them.

02:03:57.000 I tried to wear the ones where there's a bar that goes across your face to protect your nose.

02:04:02.000 That's the worst. 1.00

02:04:03.000 You can't see shit. 0.99

02:04:05.000 For me, I had to go like the Mike Tyson style, which is one that Mike Tyson used to wear, where a lot of his face was exposed. 0.98

02:04:12.000 A lot of people kind of criticized it because they said that he was more open to cuts, and there's a reason why they had those big cheek.

02:04:18.000 But you can't see left and right, like peripherals.

02:04:20.000 If you're sparring a guy and he throws real wide stuff on you, especially kicks, guys who sneak kicks around your shoulder, you literally don't see them until they're on your neck.

02:04:31.000 And it's not good.

02:04:32.000 I didn't like it.

02:04:33.000 I was like, I'd rather get hit.

02:04:34.000 With no headgear on...

02:04:36.000 Well, then you have a chance.

02:04:37.000 Yeah.

02:04:37.000 I feel like I can move with it better.

02:04:40.000 You're still in a bad spot, but the real issue is cuts.

02:04:44.000 Because a lot of guys get cut in sparring.

02:04:47.000 You might collide heads, you might an elbow or something like that.

02:04:49.000 And when that does happen, the problem is then it could delay a fight.

02:04:53.000 And if you're an MMA fighter and you're training for it, it's probably pretty smart to wear headgear.

02:04:57.000 But it doesn't really protect your head that much.

02:05:00.000 In fact, there's an argument that it acts as more of a fulcrum point.

02:05:04.000 Because the headgear makes your head larger.

02:05:07.000 So you can like...

02:05:08.000 Yeah, that's interesting.

02:05:08.000 The weight and everything, it actually can make your head move more.

02:05:11.000 Well, it's funny what happens to your brain, which is it just goes flying against your skull.

02:05:17.000 There's nothing technical about it.

02:05:20.000 It just goes like, boop!

02:05:22.000 Yeah.

02:05:22.000 And it can't maintain signal while that's going on.

02:05:27.000 It can't maintain order.

02:05:29.000 And especially if you get hit in the base of your head, like one of the scariest kicks that you can get hit with, that a lot of guys get hit with, is neck kicks.

02:05:37.000 You get necked.

02:05:39.000 And when you get neck kicked, guys go down like they got shot.

02:05:44.000 Because of what gets hurt? 0.52

02:05:48.000 It just shuts your brain off.

02:05:49.000 Oh, it's like this thing?

02:05:51.000 The jugular punch thing?

02:05:53.000 No, it's the shin slams basically against the base of your skull.

02:05:57.000 It's like really the back of the head.

02:05:59.000 The shin is basically a switchblade on your leg.

02:06:02.000 Here, Google this.

02:06:04.000 Ernesto Hoost K.O.'s Maurice Smith.

02:06:08.000 Maurice Smith is a good friend of mine, and he's a former UFC heavyweight champion, former world Muay Thai fighter, Muay Thai champion. 1.00

02:06:16.000 He's a bad motherfucker. 0.97

02:06:17.000 But he fought this guy who was just one of the greatest of all time, Ernesto Hoos, and he got caught with a kick to his neck. 1.00

02:06:24.000 And I knew how tough Maurice is, and I knew how good of a fighter he is.

02:06:27.000 So when you see a guy who's at the level that Maurice is, watch this.

02:06:32.000 Boop! 0.95

02:06:33.000 See how he threw that over the top of his head?

02:06:36.000 It's like the top of his spine.

02:06:36.000 Yeah, and he just shut Maurice off.

02:06:38.000 Look at this.

02:06:39.000 He slides on the outside and he lifts his head up.

02:06:43.000 It lifts his foot up, rather, and goes over the shoulder, where Maurice doesn't even see it coming until it's already too late, and it hits the back of his head.

02:06:51.000 It's crazy.

02:06:52.000 And that's his foot, which isn't even that hard.

02:06:55.000 Well, it's still hard.

02:06:56.000 It's Ernesto Hoos' foot, but it could be way worse.

02:06:59.000 You're right.

02:07:00.000 If it was a little bit further back, then it would have been his shin.

02:07:02.000 Like his shin, it's over.

02:07:04.000 But a lot of guys knock guys out dead cold with a foot.

02:07:06.000 Well, that's an elite.

02:07:07.000 You can't punch the back of the head in boxing, right?

02:07:09.000 Right.

02:07:09.000 But you can kick guys, and when you land, it oftentimes lands in the back of the head, and no one ever thinks there's anything wrong with it.

02:07:15.000 It's real weird.

02:07:16.000 It's a super gray area.

02:07:17.000 So you can't punch in MMA? Exactly.

02:07:19.000 You cannot punch the back of the neck and head, but you can kick. 0.82

02:07:22.000 Exactly.

02:07:23.000 That's very odd.

02:07:24.000 It's so odd.

02:07:25.000 Well, it's an issue with kickboxing as well, because some of the best techniques land on the back of the head.

02:07:31.000 Like here's another one that does all the time too, wheel kicks.

02:07:34.000 Like someone will throw a wheel kick, like a spinning heel kick, and they'll catch a guy, boom, right on the back of the head.

02:07:40.000 It happens all the time.

02:07:41.000 And technically, it's an illegal place to hit someone, but because head kicks are like...

02:07:49.000 That's sort of like the ultimate striking weapon.

02:07:51.000 Like if you knock someone out, like knocking someone out with a head kick is like the ultimate striking weapon.

02:07:56.000 Because it's everything we always wanted to see in karate movies, you know?

02:08:00.000 So because of that is so encouraged to like whoosh!

02:08:03.000 The guy just knocked him, he kicked him in the head! 1.00

02:08:05.000 Holy shit! 0.99

02:08:06.000 Because it's so encouraged, we don't think about the implications of kicking someone in the back of the head, which is probably way worse than punching someone in the back of the head. 0.99

02:08:14.000 But it happens all the time in kickboxing and all the time in MMA. It's one of those weird things where nobody wants to talk about it, but everybody knows it's the case.

02:08:22.000 You're kicking a guy in a totally illegal spot.

02:08:26.000 Do fighters acknowledge how double the standard is?

02:08:29.000 They all know it.

02:08:29.000 They all know it for sure.

02:08:30.000 Everybody knows it.

02:08:31.000 Especially everybody who's been hit by one of those or hit somebody with one of those.

02:08:35.000 You know where you're hitting them.

02:08:36.000 A lot of times you're hitting the back of the head.

02:08:38.000 Where can you punch?

02:08:40.000 You can punch all the back? 0.91

02:08:42.000 All over the body. 0.99

02:08:42.000 You can punch the legs. 0.99

02:08:44.000 You can't punch the groin. 1.00

02:08:45.000 But you can punch somebody in the ass. 1.00

02:08:48.000 You can punch in the back? 1.00

02:08:49.000 You can punch him in the back. 0.99

02:08:50.000 You can't punch the spine. 0.98

02:08:51.000 You cannot punch above the shoulders.

02:08:53.000 Or you can't elbow strike the spine.

02:08:54.000 There's some weird rules.

02:08:55.000 Actually, we were talking about this yesterday.

02:08:58.000 Jamie and I looked up.

02:08:59.000 Jamie said they came up with some new rules.

02:09:01.000 And one of them involves knees to the head to a downed opponent.

02:09:05.000 Now, a downed opponent means you have to have both hands down on the mat.

02:09:09.000 And your palm has to be flat.

02:09:13.000 You can't have just one.

02:09:14.000 If you have one hand up, they can knee you in the face.

02:09:18.000 So that's not a downed opponent, because there's a lot of people that are criticizing this downed opponent thing, because people were sort of what they would call gaming the system, where you would lean down, you just touch your hand on the ground like as if it's safe, and then the guy can't hit you.

02:09:33.000 So that's how you're getting out of exchanging.

02:09:35.000 Got it.

02:09:36.000 Instead of you're totally capable of standing up or totally capable of covering up.

02:09:40.000 You can make your choice.

02:09:41.000 You got to this position or he got you to this position.

02:09:44.000 It's advantageous for him.

02:09:45.000 Feels like a fairly standard position.

02:09:47.000 Yeah, it happens all the time.

02:09:48.000 But the issue becomes if you are incapable of getting out of the way, should you be able to knee a guy in the head?

02:09:55.000 Because some guys, when they're down like that, it's like, whoa, that's a devastating maneuver to knee a guy in the head when they're in that position.

02:10:01.000 Yeah.

02:10:03.000 For good reason.

02:10:04.000 They wanted to decide when it should be legal because there's other organizations where you could do crazy stuff like stomping people.

02:10:10.000 You can stomp people, like stomp their head in certain organizations.

02:10:14.000 That was a big one in Pride. 0.97

02:10:15.000 You could soccer kick guys and stomp them.

02:10:19.000 But oddly enough, they didn't allow elbows on the ground. 0.76

02:10:23.000 They felt elbows on the ground were barbaric.

02:10:25.000 Or something.

02:10:26.000 They had a line.

02:10:29.000 Yeah, that's...

02:10:30.000 Everybody's good.

02:10:31.000 People are so crazy with their lines that they draw.

02:10:33.000 Can I pee real quick? 1.00

02:10:34.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:10:35.000 That's the Joe Rogan part where I have to go to the bathroom. 1.00

02:10:37.000 You're drinking that delicious Pellegrino.

02:10:38.000 I got into bubbly water lately, Jamie.

02:10:41.000 I hate to admit it.

02:10:42.000 I like sparkling water now.

02:10:44.000 I used to think there's no nutritional benefits.

02:10:46.000 I had it in my head that regular water was better for you.

02:10:51.000 Was that your thing?

02:10:53.000 Yeah.

02:10:54.000 The Keepers of the Ark of the Covenant, I found.

02:10:57.000 I looked up.

02:10:58.000 I found something where it said that there was a report of one of them having milky cataracts in a description, but it's not all of them from what I'm reading.

02:11:06.000 Goddammit, Graham Hancock.

02:11:11.000 Christians in Ethiopia have long claimed to have the Ark of the Covenant, a reporter investigated.

02:11:15.000 Go down to the very last chapter.

02:11:18.000 Or the very last paragraph, rather. 1.00

02:11:21.000 Let's see what the fuck they said. 0.99

02:11:24.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:11:24.000 See, that's the thing about these things. 0.99

02:11:26.000 The final moments of any search.

02:11:28.000 I could not judge whether the Ark of the Covenant truly rested inside the nondescript chapel.

02:11:32.000 Perhaps Menelik's traveling companions did take it and spirited home to Ethiopia.

02:11:41.000 Perhaps its origins here stem from the tail spun by...

02:11:44.000 So, nothing.

02:11:44.000 He's got no evidence.

02:11:46.000 Yeah, there was apparently also a storm and leaky roof that was going to make them move it in 2012, but I didn't find anything that said that, whether it was seen or not.

02:11:55.000 And the Baghdad battery was supposedly also not a battery.

02:12:00.000 They think it was used for electroplating statues with gold and silver.

02:12:04.000 Oh, that makes sense.

02:12:05.000 So there was a little bit of a charge in there, but not enough to be power or something.

02:12:09.000 Considered a battery.

02:12:09.000 Oh, so it was just the way they kind of made paint.

02:12:13.000 Yeah, sort of.

02:12:13.000 They would cover stuff.

02:12:14.000 So I think the hypothesis is they would spin it in there and it would create a bond to the stone or whatever they were.

02:12:21.000 That makes sense.

02:12:22.000 So that's the way they would use it on statues and stuff? 0.99

02:12:26.000 That's fucking amazing. 1.00

02:12:29.000 Goddamn. 1.00

02:12:29.000 It's so cool when you think of how these people had to use their little monkey brains to invent the first wheel or to invent pottery. 1.00

02:12:40.000 Like the people that...

02:12:41.000 I mean, when did they figure out pottery?

02:12:46.000 If you had to guess, let's guess.

02:12:49.000 What do you think?

02:12:50.000 5000 BC? Not far after fire.

02:12:53.000 Not far after fire?

02:12:54.000 They just figured out they could harden stuff?

02:12:56.000 Yeah, stuff probably just accidentally got hard.

02:12:57.000 Let's Google it.

02:12:58.000 I say 5,000 BC. No, that doesn't make any sense because, like, Qumran, or, uh, not Qumran, Sumer.

02:13:08.000 Sumer was before that.

02:13:09.000 6,000 and 4,000.

02:13:11.000 This is a potter's wheel, though.

02:13:12.000 Oh, oh, okay.

02:13:13.000 This potter's wheel was invented in Mesopotamia sometime in between 6,000 and 4,000 BC. Does that say 4,000 BC? Ubaid period.

02:13:24.000 You guys going over ancient inventions?

02:13:26.000 What's going on?

02:13:27.000 We're trying to figure out when they invented pottery.

02:13:30.000 Oh, that has to be a long time ago.

02:13:32.000 We were looking at the Baghdad battery that we were looking at earlier.

02:13:35.000 Apparently, Jamie found out that it might have been used to electroplate gold, that it created a small charge, but it really wasn't a battery.

02:13:41.000 It was just used to make almost like electric paint.

02:13:46.000 And then we're trying to figure out, well, I was like, how fucking cool is that?

02:13:49.000 Like, how crazy were the first people, the first monkey people from, like, a million years ago, or whatever it was, that figured out how to make a flint knife? 0.98

02:13:58.000 You know?

02:13:59.000 And the first people that figured out pottery.

02:14:01.000 They figured out how to roll dirt and light it on fire.

02:14:04.000 There's a cool...

02:14:05.000 Duncan brought up his last appearance, not his most recent one.

02:14:08.000 There's a cool YouTube channel of a guy that does this.

02:14:11.000 He makes tons of different...

02:14:13.000 Experiments and trying out primitive technologies and processes.

02:14:17.000 He doesn't talk at all.

02:14:18.000 I'm going to look it up so I can find out what it's called.

02:14:20.000 But he just made a really cool one where he pulled little pieces of metal out of iron ore.

02:14:25.000 And he invented this way to get his flame hotter using some sort of thing.

02:14:31.000 And he makes the whole thing.

02:14:33.000 It's really, really cool.

02:14:34.000 It's just amazing when you think of How long ago was it?

02:14:39.000 Well, we don't even know what it was.

02:14:40.000 It's someone first invented pottery.

02:14:42.000 That potter's wheel was at least 6,000 or at least 4,000 BC. There's also the idea that people invented it and it just never got out before that.

02:14:51.000 You know what I mean?

02:14:52.000 2,000 years earlier, maybe somebody invents it and then he just never, no one ever leaves that village.

02:14:58.000 Yeah, that definitely could be it.

02:15:00.000 So what is this gentleman doing?

02:15:02.000 It's called Primitive Technologies, the YouTube channel.

02:15:04.000 So it shows him he's making a forge blower.

02:15:07.000 What's funny is he has cave hands.

02:15:09.000 You know what I mean?

02:15:10.000 He looks like the original.

02:15:11.000 This dude is one of...

02:15:13.000 There's a bunch of people now that are experts in ancient ways of living. 0.95

02:15:20.000 Like ancient archery and ancient house building and shit. 0.89

02:15:25.000 It's really weird. 0.96

02:15:28.000 Well, there's something that I was going to say.

02:15:31.000 Do you meditate at all?

02:15:33.000 Yeah.

02:15:33.000 Well, sort of.

02:15:34.000 In the tank, I do.

02:15:36.000 So I went on a seven-day silent meditation retreat.

02:15:43.000 Whoa.

02:15:44.000 Yeah.

02:15:45.000 No talking for seven days?

02:15:46.000 No talking.

02:15:47.000 Well, it ended up being like, we talked for three minutes starting day three.

02:15:54.000 We'd talk for three minutes a day.

02:15:56.000 Whoa.

02:15:57.000 On day three? 0.99

02:16:02.000 I fucking cried. 0.99

02:16:04.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:16:05.000 Because you couldn't talk.

02:16:05.000 Because, dude, no talking, no television, no computer, no phone.

02:16:10.000 What?

02:16:10.000 Here's the worst part.

02:16:11.000 No reading, no writing.

02:16:14.000 What?

02:16:15.000 Just meditating.

02:16:16.000 And, like, eating and whatever, and being in this village thing.

02:16:20.000 Whoa. 0.92

02:16:20.000 But, uh, this video's fucking really cool. 0.92

02:16:23.000 This video's dope as fuck. 0.99

02:16:25.000 This guy made these, uh, made like a little furnace. 1.00

02:16:30.000 Blower out of this pottery thing with a wheel inside of it that he would spin and it would blow air.

02:16:36.000 With a fan.

02:16:38.000 Yeah, it's got like a handmade fan and he does it by moving it around with his fingers.

02:16:44.000 And now he's like making a rope and a twine so he could pull it probably like a bow.

02:16:49.000 Yeah.

02:16:50.000 And what he's been able to do with it is stoke this fire up in this incredible way.

02:16:55.000 I mean it's just blazing.

02:16:59.000 And it's all from the wind that he's blowing into it with this crazy invention. 0.98

02:17:02.000 And this is some shit that people did, what, thousands of years ago or something? 0.98

02:17:06.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:17:08.000 It was cool to watch him problem-solve, all these things.

02:17:11.000 He just keeps happening.

02:17:12.000 His first early videos, he makes this hut that's behind him, and it's just out of nowhere.

02:17:16.000 He's just in the middle of the forest, and he goes, and he makes his little bricks, and he heats them up in a kiln he made.

02:17:22.000 Wow.

02:17:23.000 And he started with no fire, and he's built all this stuff.

02:17:26.000 It's pretty cool to watch.

02:17:27.000 This is wild, though. 1.00

02:17:28.000 He's doing it all with clay and shit. 0.99

02:17:31.000 There's a bunch- Ooh, it's diarrhea. 0.99

02:17:33.000 What is that?

02:17:33.000 Don't eat that.

02:17:35.000 What the fuck is he making, man? 1.00

02:17:37.000 He's getting the carbon and putting it in with the iron ore, and he puts it in the- Oh, that's right. 0.99

02:17:42.000 He's gonna make metal?

02:17:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:17:45.000 This is insane.

02:17:48.000 This is insane.

02:17:49.000 Is he making coal?

02:17:50.000 What's he making?

02:17:51.000 Yeah.

02:17:52.000 He's gonna make metal.

02:17:55.000 This is how people did it, man.

02:17:58.000 What's really crazy is someone had to figure out how to take all the elements that are involved in metal.

02:18:04.000 The camera's about to catch on fire.

02:18:06.000 I know, right?

02:18:07.000 This is wild.

02:18:09.000 It looks like fake fire.

02:18:10.000 It does.

02:18:11.000 Looks like some CGI fire. 1.00

02:18:13.000 This is all CIA bullshit. 1.00

02:18:15.000 This is preparing us for the zombie apocalypse. 1.00

02:18:20.000 They're teaching us when the grid goes down how to make our own fire.

02:18:25.000 Yeah, so silent meditation retreat.

02:18:28.000 So wake up at...

02:18:29.000 So day one I cried.

02:18:31.000 Cried.

02:18:32.000 Straight up cried.

02:18:33.000 Wow.

02:18:34.000 From like...

02:18:35.000 It feels like you're dead.

02:18:37.000 You can't talk to anyone you know.

02:18:39.000 Whoa.

02:18:40.000 And you can't get online.

02:18:41.000 You can't read.

02:18:42.000 You literally are like an apparition. 0.94

02:18:44.000 You're just walking around like a ghost.

02:18:48.000 But day three and four were two of the best days of my life.

02:18:51.000 Really?

02:18:52.000 Yeah, because all you're doing is meditating, and meditation just stimulates your brain and makes you happy.

02:18:59.000 Proven.

02:18:59.000 Monks take MRIs and they just look like they don't stress.

02:19:04.000 They have incredibly low levels of cortisol and very high levels of positive chemicals.

02:19:13.000 So I would meditate nine hours a day.

02:19:17.000 Wow.

02:19:18.000 Yeah, and you just end up like...

02:19:20.000 And the other thing I would do, because I couldn't...

02:19:23.000 No one could talk and I didn't really need to talk to anybody...

02:19:26.000 I would smile all day.

02:19:30.000 So if you smile all day, it tricks your brain to think you're happy.

02:19:34.000 Because your brain doesn't know, like, if your muscles are just, they go, oh, I guess we're happy.

02:19:38.000 So everybody act happy.

02:19:40.000 It can work backwards.

02:19:42.000 Paul Eichmann wrote a book.

02:19:44.000 But it was, yeah, it was an amazing experience.

02:19:47.000 Amazing.

02:19:48.000 And what I realized is I came away with, like, I'm so overstimulated at home. 0.92

02:19:54.000 With podcasts, television shows, computers, fucking phones, texting constantly, that it's made me really cut back on everything in a way that's very, very positive, I think. 0.97

02:20:05.000 Wow. 0.99

02:20:06.000 Yeah.

02:20:06.000 Because, dude, I wake up, I don't, most people wake up and you immediately, like, mainline Information or technology like right like I used to do when I smoke cigarettes I would wake up and have four cigarettes and drink coffee and just like shock my body and I feel like And I feel like that's what I do now all right what I used to do with technology just like constantly turn my phone on Go on New York Times go on this thing going and I go on reddit go on all these places and it wasn't make it was just stressing me out Yeah,

02:20:37.000 it doesn't make you feel good Yeah, but that's hard.

02:20:40.000 Isn't that weird?

02:20:41.000 Yeah.

02:20:41.000 This thing that we all do constantly, we acknowledge, like, it doesn't make me feel good.

02:20:46.000 Yeah, we need discipline.

02:20:48.000 That's a big factor in managing the electronic world, is discipline.

02:20:53.000 The discipline to not watch too much television. 0.98

02:20:56.000 The discipline to not fuck around on your phone too much. 0.98

02:20:58.000 The discipline to not play games too much. 0.99

02:21:01.000 You can get lurched in.

02:21:04.000 Is that the word?

02:21:05.000 Lurched?

02:21:06.000 Sure, we know what you meant.

02:21:07.000 Communicated?

02:21:08.000 It's not really the right word.

02:21:11.000 It's probably not ultimately beneficial.

02:21:14.000 A certain amount of access to it is really good, but it's so addictive.

02:21:19.000 We should have one person, a responsible guy, like, will you look up...

02:21:24.000 The world should have that.

02:21:25.000 Where it's like, hey, look up when so-and-so was invented, but for the most part we can just communicate.

02:21:31.000 Because that's the thing...

02:21:33.000 That's another one of those things where you talk about what...

02:21:36.000 Because I look up what actually makes people happy.

02:21:39.000 Communication, real connection, community, volunteering makes people happier.

02:21:49.000 I'm in the Big Brothers program and it's like, eh, it's not bad.

02:21:52.000 It hasn't given me a spike or anything.

02:21:55.000 A spike?

02:21:56.000 Of adrenaline or good feelings.

02:22:00.000 Not even adrenaline.

02:22:05.000 Serotonin.

02:22:05.000 But really connecting with people.

02:22:08.000 That may be what you like about doing the show.

02:22:10.000 Because I always find that I enjoy doing the show.

02:22:12.000 And people are like, it's so long.

02:22:14.000 I'm like, yeah, I know, it's long.

02:22:16.000 But I don't know.

02:22:16.000 There's something about just like sitting here and just like staring at each other.

02:22:20.000 And like, what else do you think?

02:22:22.000 Do you think that?

02:22:23.000 Here's what I think.

02:22:24.000 Yeah, well...

02:22:25.000 And there's something about it for listeners probably too.

02:22:27.000 Yeah.

02:22:28.000 Well, it's so long form that you get, everybody gets real relaxed.

02:22:32.000 Yeah.

02:22:32.000 And you get to, it becomes more of the way I listen to it.

02:22:37.000 Like a lot of guys do it this way now.

02:22:40.000 Ari does it this way. 1.00

02:22:41.000 A lot of guys do it.

02:22:42.000 They just let it go as long as it goes.

02:22:44.000 Yeah.

02:22:44.000 And when you do that, like, conversations, they evolve.

02:22:47.000 They move around. 0.96

02:22:48.000 They get deeper, they get lighter, they get silly. 0.97

02:22:51.000 Yeah.

02:22:53.000 There's no, it's not organized.

02:22:55.000 And I like listening to people talk.

02:22:57.000 Yeah.

02:22:58.000 Well, you like ideas.

02:22:59.000 Yeah.

02:23:00.000 So you like to hear, like, what's your idea?

02:23:02.000 That's not a good idea.

02:23:04.000 That is a good idea.

02:23:06.000 You've got to be super flexible with your ideas.

02:23:09.000 I've gotten way better at that since I started doing a podcast.

02:23:13.000 Way better at trying to figure out, like, what is it about an idea that I disagree with?

02:23:19.000 And how much of it is that I had a different idea than that idea in my head, a preconceived notion.

02:23:26.000 How much of that is how I'm affected by the disagreement or the...

02:23:31.000 It's called motivated reasoning.

02:23:33.000 Yeah, that's a perfect way of describing it.

02:23:35.000 That's exactly what it is, right?

02:23:37.000 That's super common, man, for all of us.

02:23:39.000 And I think that...

02:23:48.000 Yeah.

02:23:51.000 Yeah.

02:23:54.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:23:58.000 Well, yeah, you have the shelving built, you have all the shit, you have like, eh, I got the t-shirt, I got the old thing. 0.88

02:24:04.000 I got the right adapter, I don't want to get in the phone. 0.79

02:24:06.000 That's exactly right, yeah.

02:24:09.000 But yeah, so it is this, that was what I learned, like, the walking around, not having to talk to people was cool in that there was no pressure.

02:24:19.000 And it was also, like, the least sexual environment I've ever been in.

02:24:24.000 Because everyone just looks like they have the flu, basically.

02:24:27.000 People are struggling.

02:24:29.000 Did they have rules?

02:24:30.000 Could people hook up?

02:24:31.000 It was discouraged.

02:24:33.000 I also would say, like, everyone...

02:24:35.000 I didn't have a roommate, but, like, you're in, like, Olympic-style dorms, like, where you have a roommate, and there's, like, eight rooms on each floor.

02:24:43.000 It was like a summer camp, basically, where you did nothing.

02:24:47.000 It seriously would be kind of hot, though.

02:24:50.000 Having been there...

02:24:52.000 Diane and a gal, both single, both can't talk. 0.99

02:24:55.000 Yeah.

02:24:56.000 Having been there, though, it runs counter to what you're going for.

02:25:00.000 You're like, really, it's fucking interesting where you go like, you really see what's inside.

02:25:05.000 Because I was trying to think of what it was like. 0.96

02:25:07.000 Like, oh, it was like basketball camp.

02:25:08.000 I was like, no, basketball camp, we had TV, VCRs, and talk the entire time.

02:25:14.000 This was like nothing.

02:25:16.000 It's like nothing you've ever done.

02:25:20.000 And then they would do a talk every night about some theme, some Buddhist theme, and then the next day you would talk in a group about that.

02:25:28.000 And what I found was I didn't even really want to talk. 1.00

02:25:32.000 It's like, fuck it. 0.99

02:25:33.000 I've come this far. 1.00

02:25:34.000 Let me see how long I can not...

02:25:36.000 Let me just see what...

02:25:37.000 But you see what's in there.

02:25:40.000 And you see what your brain does.

02:25:42.000 You see what you're interested in.

02:25:43.000 You see what you remember.

02:25:45.000 Any recall?

02:25:46.000 My recall was really good because your brain's...

02:25:49.000 What I realized with all the technology is I would create chaos in my head. 0.97

02:25:58.000 With so many voices and sounds and noises that I couldn't remember shit because I can't even get back there. 0.89

02:26:04.000 I can't even get through all this garbage to the file that I'm looking for. 0.82

02:26:11.000 So if I couldn't remember something, I'd be like, just hang out.

02:26:14.000 It'll come.

02:26:14.000 And it would always come.

02:26:16.000 But that was the thing of like, I don't listen to the radio when I'm in my car now, which is odd. 0.99

02:26:21.000 So I just drive like a fucking old man. 0.99

02:26:24.000 Whoa. 1.00

02:26:25.000 Just literally just me and fucking me in silence. 1.00

02:26:28.000 Just to limit the amount of signals. 1.00

02:26:30.000 Yeah.

02:26:31.000 And it's not easy, but yeah.

02:26:33.000 I got a buddy of mine who lives in Australia, rather.

02:26:36.000 I want to say Alaska or something.

02:26:37.000 He lives in Australia, and he takes these trips out to the bush where he goes out camping, and he'll be gone for like eight, nine days, or he won't see people for like nine days.

02:26:48.000 And he said that when he comes back...

02:26:51.000 Oftentimes it feels really weird to talk to people like almost like forgot how to talk to people Where it's been nothing but him alone with his thoughts with no cell phone service for like eight or nine days Yeah, it's really worthwhile because what I also realized is that I was like With all the signal and all the noise and everything is I was upsetting myself.

02:27:14.000 Do you know what I mean?

02:27:16.000 It's like, nah, I don't need this much.

02:27:18.000 And I would just overload myself. 0.99

02:27:19.000 Like, no, we're in the golden age of information and I can access any fucking video and look at the Godfather and fucking Scarface and all this shit. 0.99

02:27:27.000 And it's like... 0.99

02:27:29.000 No.

02:27:29.000 You need to slow down, man.

02:27:31.000 Like, that's kind of my temperament, but at the same time, my nervous system was, like, screaming.

02:27:40.000 Like, you gotta chill out.

02:27:42.000 Wow.

02:27:43.000 Yeah.

02:27:44.000 But I don't smoke weed or anything like that, so I don't have any way to...

02:27:49.000 Separate?

02:27:50.000 Yeah, or to quiet my nervous system.

02:27:53.000 I mean, I have antidepressants and stuff like that, but meditation really helps.

02:27:57.000 And since I've been back, I've meditated pretty much every day since, which is really for like three months, which is really...

02:28:02.000 I've missed a few days, but it's definitely like an entrenched part of my life now that I miss if I don't do it.

02:28:09.000 Time for reflection is very important to avoid getting stuck with momentum, right?

02:28:14.000 When you have the momentum of your life and you just kind of let things keep playing out and just adjusting along the fly, that separation, to step back and look at it, it's so critical.

02:28:27.000 It's so important.

02:28:28.000 It's so hard to do because I think once things start going in your life, whether it's obligations or financial responsibilities or whatever things that you're working on that are occupying all of your time, they become so much a part of your thought process.

02:28:45.000 And you consider them to be like of primary importance because this is like, I have to pay these bills. 0.95

02:28:51.000 Hey, this, I have to deal with this shit. 0.99

02:28:52.000 I have to, this is what's going on. 0.99

02:28:54.000 That they, they sort of overwhelm cognitive reasoning.

02:28:59.000 They overwhelm perspective where you don't have the opportunity to step back and go, Hey, you're not here for that long.

02:29:06.000 You have a limited amount of time here.

02:29:08.000 Yeah.

02:29:08.000 That's what it was like.

02:29:09.000 Oh, so I died.

02:29:12.000 Like, what was this like?

02:29:13.000 It was a bit like the Mark Twain thing, of seeing your own funeral, of like, oh wow, I was away for a week.

02:29:22.000 I had the automatic email thing, so people knew I wasn't around, but I only got like 50 emails.

02:29:27.000 It wasn't like...

02:29:29.000 An ungodly amount of emails.

02:29:31.000 Right.

02:29:31.000 I got maybe 10 texts, which is all manageable, you know?

02:29:37.000 Right.

02:29:37.000 It's not like, oh, I was so missed, the world needs me.

02:29:40.000 It's like, no, we can all duck out.

02:29:42.000 Obama can duck out.

02:29:44.000 Obama's in Martha's Vineyard right now.

02:29:46.000 He's reachable, but he's not, like, working, working.

02:29:49.000 When he does that, like, how much do you think he works while he's doing one of those trips like that?

02:29:55.000 I'm gonna bet three hours.

02:29:58.000 Three hours.

02:29:58.000 Yeah.

02:29:59.000 I bet in the morning and then again in the afternoon.

02:30:01.000 Is that just a random guess?

02:30:01.000 That's completely uneducated.

02:30:04.000 It's based on fucking nothing. 1.00

02:30:05.000 I think people are gonna miss that guy so much. 0.99

02:30:08.000 Oh! 0.60

02:30:08.000 They're gonna miss that guy so much. 0.60

02:30:10.000 You can't even quantify how much they're gonna miss him.

02:30:12.000 He kept it together in the face of overwhelming criticism, which is really interesting, like the way he handled it without a hint of bitterness or anger.

02:30:26.000 He's a fascinating guy in that way.

02:30:28.000 He's a very, very measured guy.

02:30:30.000 Yeah, he's nothing if not measured.

02:30:33.000 He's half everything.

02:30:34.000 Yeah, and I think one of the good things about having a guy like that, one of the most important things, you can criticize him, you're with him, you're not with him, but having a guy like that sets the tone for the way we think about ourselves.

02:30:48.000 And he was a nice guy.

02:30:50.000 He's an articulate guy.

02:30:52.000 He was warm and friendly.

02:30:54.000 I believed him.

02:30:56.000 That's the tone. 0.98

02:30:57.000 Whether or not he was really like that 24-7, I don't fucking know, man. 0.97

02:31:00.000 It seems like he was. 0.96

02:31:02.000 But he's setting the tone with his behavior.

02:31:06.000 Yeah.

02:31:07.000 That's what what people are most terrified of by something like Trump becoming president.

02:31:12.000 They're worried that there's a lot of people that are like super aggressive.

02:31:16.000 Yeah.

02:31:17.000 And that like that having like an insulting president who...

02:31:22.000 Yeah, I'm thinking about whether I agree with you about whether Obama raised the discourse because it got coarser and he got yelled at and you lie and all that stuff.

02:31:32.000 He made people worse in some ways.

02:31:34.000 Toward him.

02:31:36.000 How much do you think he does?

02:31:38.000 And internet and talk radio got worse in the last eight years, which could just be natural.

02:31:41.000 It may have been worse without him.

02:31:45.000 Yeah.

02:31:47.000 Yeah, it's not as simple, because it did get worse, but I think the thing that you said that's really worthwhile is the level-headedness of that dude.

02:31:56.000 Yeah.

02:31:56.000 And a really measured, kind-hearted guy.

02:32:01.000 Yeah.

02:32:02.000 See, it's hard for me to discern how much of the hate he gets is from his policy, from where just the current state of the United States is in the eyes of ourselves, the world, financially,

02:32:18.000 resources, jobs, all that stuff.

02:32:21.000 And then how much of that, how much of it is racism?

02:32:24.000 Yeah.

02:32:24.000 How much of it is legitimate criticism that makes sense?

02:32:28.000 How much of it is, you know, this criticism that he's always had that by trying to be accommodating to everybody, he really gets nothing done?

02:32:36.000 Yeah.

02:32:37.000 You know, I don't know.

02:32:37.000 I don't understand it.

02:32:39.000 It's way too complicated for me to dive into. 0.99

02:32:42.000 The hatred thing that I point out always is I think it's probably half, 50% racism and 50% Republicans fucking hate Democrats. 1.00

02:32:51.000 They fucking hate them. 0.99

02:32:53.000 So that's two presidents in a row that they've said were not legitimate. 1.00

02:32:57.000 It's so crazy. 0.98

02:32:58.000 Because they did the same thing with Clinton, where they tried to indict him pretty much from day one and investigate the fuck out of him and his wife. 0.96

02:33:04.000 Well, do you remember that Donald Trump... 0.66

02:33:07.000 I should say Republican politicians, because I can't speak for all people.

02:33:14.000 Sorry, Donald Trump is a birther. 0.98

02:33:16.000 Oh, right.

02:33:16.000 No, I know.

02:33:17.000 He was the big proponent of it.

02:33:19.000 Yeah, he was saying he's from Kenya.

02:33:20.000 Yeah.

02:33:21.000 Yeah.

02:33:22.000 And he's only down by three.

02:33:26.000 I mean, he kept saying it, too.

02:33:28.000 He kept going all in.

02:33:29.000 Remember they released the birth certificate and everything?

02:33:31.000 Like, this is a forgery. 1.00

02:33:33.000 It's a goddamn forgery. 0.99

02:33:34.000 They had all these reasons to believe why it's a forgery. 1.00

02:33:36.000 Yeah.

02:33:37.000 He has people in Hawaii investigating.

02:33:38.000 How hilarious is it, though, that people would be worried if he wasn't born in the right spot?

02:33:47.000 Well, that speaks to people's movie suspicion.

02:33:52.000 They want to believe that there's a Manchurian candidate and there's a pod and there's a cell here.

02:33:57.000 He hates America, Neil Brannon.

02:34:00.000 As Jesus is my witness, he hates America.

02:34:04.000 He wants the Second Amendment to be abolished.

02:34:07.000 Yes, and it feels good to play the victim.

02:34:09.000 That's the thing people also forget is like, No, it feels fucking really good to go like, he's out to get us and he doesn't believe what I believe. 1.00

02:34:16.000 It's like, no, he's a fucking boring ass. 0.99

02:34:18.000 I believe he may be an atheist, but I believe, but he's a, I think that's the worst thing you say about him religiously. 1.00

02:34:24.000 Otherwise, he's a, he's Christian. 0.99

02:34:26.000 At least. 0.99

02:34:27.000 So the idea that if he's a Muslim, he's an awful Muslim. 0.99

02:34:32.000 And he knows nothing about it. 1.00

02:34:33.000 Just gotta feed him bacon and see what happens.

02:34:34.000 Yeah.

02:34:34.000 Yeah, I'm sure, yeah, exactly.

02:34:36.000 It's like, bring garlic to the vampire house.

02:34:39.000 That's right.

02:34:39.000 I don't know man.

02:34:40.000 I just I don't think anybody's ever gonna be able to do that job.

02:34:44.000 I think that job is a ridiculous job and I think that at the very least he moves some social issues In a way, during his time, I feel like people were more tolerant in a lot of ways.

02:34:58.000 It opened up a lot of social issues that I don't think would have been addressed with a less measured, more easily accessible guy.

02:35:08.000 Well, he truly is progressive, where it's like, I'm a progressive politician, so I want things to evolve. 0.99

02:35:16.000 But then there's like the fucking Ed Snowden shit. 0.99

02:35:19.000 Well, that's the thing. 1.00

02:35:20.000 He's super authoritarianism with drones, Ed Snowden, shit like that. 0.99

02:35:23.000 Leaks. 0.99

02:35:24.000 They were worse about leaks than Bush was.

02:35:26.000 Yeah.

02:35:26.000 But here's the thing about drones, right?

02:35:30.000 Was that happening anyway?

02:35:31.000 Was that just going to happen anyway?

02:35:33.000 And is it because he's in office?

02:35:35.000 I mean, how much of an effect does he have on what the heads of military decide to do and not do with things like drones?

02:35:45.000 How much of an effect do you think, like personally, he has on that?

02:35:48.000 I feel like a lot.

02:35:50.000 You think so?

02:35:50.000 Did you watch the CIA thing on Showtime?

02:35:55.000 What thing was that?

02:35:55.000 It was like the last seven heads of the CIA documentary about them.

02:36:00.000 No. 0.99

02:36:00.000 It's fucking good. 0.99

02:36:02.000 But it talks about, yeah, it's like seven or eight, Michael Hayden, a bunch of these guys. 0.98

02:36:08.000 And they talk about having, Leon Panetta, they talk about having a guy in sight on video live.

02:36:18.000 And having to decide whether it's go time.

02:36:23.000 Jesus Christ.

02:36:25.000 The Spymasters. 0.85

02:36:26.000 C.I.A. and Crosshairs.

02:36:29.000 Wow.

02:36:30.000 It's good, huh?

02:36:31.000 Yeah, really good.

02:36:32.000 Crazy job, man.

02:36:33.000 It's super duper right-wingy. 0.96

02:36:35.000 It is very pro-death and pro-fire.

02:36:43.000 Fire all weapons, we got the weapons, let's use them type thing.

02:36:46.000 It's interesting that everybody, pretty much, that's involved at the highest level in military, there's a giant percentage of them that are probably conservative, right?

02:36:58.000 Am I right in guessing that?

02:36:58.000 Yeah, I think so.

02:37:00.000 I feel like it's 80%, even though I'm making that up.

02:37:03.000 Yeah, I would say I agree with your made-up quote.

02:37:06.000 Thank you.

02:37:07.000 It's a good number.

02:37:08.000 I would agree with that.

02:37:09.000 Don't you think?

02:37:10.000 Here's an interesting one.

02:37:11.000 What percentage of merchandise do women buy in America? 1.00

02:37:15.000 Percentage of all merchandise in America.

02:37:22.000 Forty percent?

02:37:23.000 Eighty percent.

02:37:24.000 Oh my god. 0.99

02:37:26.000 Isn't that fucking insane? 0.99

02:37:28.000 That's amazing. 1.00

02:37:29.000 Yeah.

02:37:30.000 Wow.

02:37:30.000 80% of merchandise is purchased by women.

02:37:33.000 Ooh.

02:37:34.000 Wow.

02:37:34.000 I don't even know what...

02:37:35.000 I've known that for months now, and I still don't know what to make of it.

02:37:38.000 That's incredible.

02:37:38.000 Yeah.

02:37:39.000 I just Googled it, it said 85%.

02:37:41.000 Oh my god, they're winning!

02:37:41.000 Yeah, it can be as high as 85. They're winning!

02:37:45.000 Yeah, but I guess they market to men to get their women to say, hey, buy this for me. 1.00

02:37:50.000 I don't know what...

02:37:51.000 Because men wouldn't... 0.99

02:37:54.000 Wouldn't men buy video games, deodorant? 0.50

02:37:57.000 Yeah, shoes.

02:37:58.000 Yeah, shoes.

02:37:58.000 Jamie's really into shoes.

02:38:02.000 Wow, that's a big number, man. 1.00

02:38:04.000 That's a big fucking number. 0.99

02:38:05.000 That seems like almost... 0.99

02:38:06.000 It's trying to, in some way, replicate something that exists in the wild.

02:38:13.000 This is a great Joe Rogan tangent.

02:38:15.000 Go on.

02:38:15.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:38:16.000 This is a classic Rogan.

02:38:18.000 Go on. 1.00

02:38:18.000 Why are the numbers so strongly in the camp of women buying shit? 1.00

02:38:24.000 Why? 1.00

02:38:25.000 It's gotta come from the gatherer thing.

02:38:28.000 Yeah, it's gotta come from the gatherer thing.

02:38:30.000 They want to collect stuff.

02:38:31.000 It's like the same leftover echoing urge that made them pick wild apricots.

02:38:38.000 Yeah, and we want to go and hunt.

02:38:41.000 I bet percentage of men hunting is at least 80. Yeah, there's a lot of men.

02:38:48.000 I don't know what the number of women would be. 1.00

02:38:51.000 There's a bunch of women that do it, but a lot of women do it and they turn it into a career. 1.00

02:38:57.000 How come?

02:38:58.000 Because if you can be like a personality, a hunting personality, and you're a woman, that's like a legitimate career path. 0.97

02:39:07.000 If you're decent looking and you can shoot nice with a bow.

02:39:12.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:39:13.000 And it also allows men and women to watch their hunting shows together.

02:39:19.000 I like when the girl wins. 1.00

02:39:22.000 She's always right.

02:39:24.000 Yeah, this says the same thing for motorsports.

02:39:26.000 It says that they agree that women racers bring fans out to the game.

02:39:31.000 74% of males and 62% of females agree that.

02:39:35.000 Women racers bring fans out to the games. 1.00

02:39:37.000 Hmm.

02:39:38.000 Interesting. 0.99

02:39:39.000 Well, that's some underdog shit, I think. 0.99

02:39:42.000 It's the woman among the... 0.99

02:39:44.000 I mean, I think it's like...

02:39:45.000 Right.

02:39:45.000 Like the girls who race in NASCAR? What's her name?

02:39:47.000 Danica Patrick?

02:39:47.000 They go like, Danica Patrick is so hot, and you're like, ah, she's alright.

02:39:54.000 She's like a, you know, we'll give her a six and a half, seven out of ten. 1.00

02:39:59.000 That's hilarious.

02:40:02.000 Yeah, like I can't say that she is like a, you know, but it is definitely like more.

02:40:08.000 It's the thing that you notice.

02:40:10.000 Yeah, it's super odd, right?

02:40:11.000 It's super odd for a woman to want to do that. 1.00

02:40:14.000 But normal.

02:40:16.000 I mean, there's nothing wrong with it.

02:40:18.000 But for a woman to want to race like Formula One or something like that. 1.00

02:40:22.000 Oh, there's a, there's, ooh, she's great looking. 1.00

02:40:24.000 Mary Defoe.

02:40:27.000 I like how you say that the right way.

02:40:29.000 She's Miss Hawaiian Tropic. 0.96

02:40:31.000 Oh, see, these are all race car drivers?

02:40:33.000 These women? 1.00

02:40:34.000 Jesus.

02:40:35.000 Wow. 0.51

02:40:36.000 That's gangster.

02:40:38.000 Courtney Forrest, it's a good name. 0.98

02:40:40.000 That sounds so porn. 0.60

02:40:44.000 But you have to be like a wild person to be a race car driver. 0.96

02:40:52.000 Go on.

02:40:53.000 You think it's a characterological thing?

02:40:55.000 I wonder.

02:40:56.000 It's so risky.

02:40:58.000 And it's so rewarding, I would guess, in a sense of like a sensory perception sense.

02:41:04.000 Like the...

02:41:05.000 Well, yeah.

02:41:06.000 You want to talk about upsetting your nervous system.

02:41:08.000 Yeah.

02:41:08.000 I'm like...

02:41:10.000 And the consequences are terrible if you fuck up. 0.99

02:41:14.000 Car accidents at 150 miles an hour are not cute. 0.99

02:41:17.000 Those are horrific, too. 0.99

02:41:19.000 When you see people get spun around, they get fucking crashed and fired. 0.93

02:41:23.000 Yeah, and it explodes like flex, and you're like, was that a foot I just saw? 0.96

02:41:29.000 But having said that, high rate of mortality.

02:41:35.000 I'm sorry, low rate of mortality.

02:41:36.000 They actually survive way more than you think.

02:41:39.000 Where you go, oh, that's another one of those.

02:41:40.000 Dead.

02:41:42.000 Dead. 1.00

02:41:43.000 You're dead. 0.99

02:41:44.000 Those people are dead, and they're fine. 0.81

02:41:47.000 Have you been seeing these people that put these balloons around their bodies and get hit by bulls?

02:41:52.000 I haven't.

02:41:53.000 We've got to show you this.

02:41:54.000 I'm looking forward to it very much.

02:41:56.000 This is a recurring theme on this show.

02:41:58.000 It's almost like one of those top 40 morning radio zoo shows where they have those weekly gags.

02:42:05.000 One of our weekly gags is, show one of the guests the people with the balloons on that get hit by the bulls.

02:42:13.000 And this is my take on it.

02:42:15.000 I don't think people realize how vulnerable they are.

02:42:18.000 Oh, this is a different one.

02:42:20.000 Yeah.

02:42:20.000 Oh, okay, cool.

02:42:21.000 This is a different one.

02:42:22.000 And look, they got a rodeo clown and everything. 0.95

02:42:24.000 They're trying to rope.

02:42:25.000 Oh, this guy, the bull, he's going after the guy.

02:42:27.000 Get out of there.

02:42:28.000 Who doesn't have a suit on.

02:42:29.000 Oh, he got flipped.

02:42:31.000 Oh, he got jacked, son.

02:42:33.000 Oh, my God.

02:42:34.000 This is even more horrific.

02:42:36.000 So this was, this is obviously something went wrong.

02:42:39.000 Because the bulls are...

02:42:42.000 They still seem pretty happy to be in there.

02:42:44.000 They're not leaving.

02:42:45.000 I Oh my god.

02:42:47.000 The guys who are willing...

02:42:48.000 I like that it's an interesting metaphor about bowls and a temper tantrum. 0.96

02:42:54.000 They go after the guy, even though they're just mad that their balls are tied up. 1.00

02:43:00.000 But they're like, well, fuck it. 1.00

02:43:04.000 I'm in a bad mood anyway. 1.00

02:43:07.000 This is the better one.

02:43:08.000 This is the one that we were talking about.

02:43:10.000 This one looks like, first of all, definitely looks like it's taking place in Mexico, right?

02:43:15.000 Second of all, these cushions these guys have, they're just not big enough.

02:43:19.000 They only go from the waist up. 1.00

02:43:21.000 Yeah, you want to cover your dick, I think. 1.00

02:43:23.000 Fuck, yeah! 1.00

02:43:25.000 Yeah, you're gonna... 1.00

02:43:26.000 You're going to see some carnage.

02:43:28.000 Watch this.

02:43:28.000 Because the bull gets loose.

02:43:31.000 And when the bull gets loose, these fuckers in this thing, I think they just have this stupid plan that they're going to be fine. 1.00

02:43:37.000 You've got to back it up a little. 1.00

02:43:39.000 Because the guy already got jacked.

02:43:42.000 Yeah, but he got jacked before that.

02:43:45.000 Right there.

02:43:46.000 Boom! 0.99

02:43:48.000 So they let the bull out. 1.00

02:43:50.000 The bull sees these assholes walking around with these... 1.00

02:43:53.000 Giant jellyfish balloons. 1.00

02:43:55.000 Look at him.

02:43:55.000 Boom!

02:43:56.000 I mean, he goes flying.

02:43:58.000 He gets gored on the ground.

02:43:59.000 He gets run over. 1.00

02:44:01.000 I mean, this guy gets fucking jacked. 1.00

02:44:03.000 They never really fuck with the horses, though, huh? 1.00

02:44:06.000 No, they don't fuck with horses. 0.99

02:44:08.000 Even the bulls know, like, nah, I don't want to fuck with that. 0.99

02:44:10.000 Well, I think they don't seem to think that the horses do anything. 0.95

02:44:15.000 What are the people doing?

02:44:17.000 Oh, they just don't like people, right?

02:44:18.000 Yeah, I think cows...

02:44:20.000 Because of the ball stuff?

02:44:21.000 Come on, cow. 1.00

02:44:22.000 I think cows have always realized that people want to eat them.

02:44:26.000 Look at that.

02:44:27.000 Boom! 0.99

02:44:28.000 Boom! 0.99

02:44:29.000 I mean, if a cow sees a person, what are the odds that that's gonna be a bad thing? 0.94

02:44:35.000 The odds are pretty goddamn strong.

02:44:37.000 Yeah, nothing good's gonna happen. 0.92

02:44:38.000 Like, oh good! 1.00

02:44:40.000 They might squeeze your tits for a couple years and then shoot you in the head. 1.00

02:44:43.000 Yeah, at best. 1.00

02:44:44.000 But for sure, one day they're gonna shoot you in the head. 0.97

02:44:47.000 Do you think it's naturally ingrained though?

02:44:50.000 I don't think cows see us as like an enemy.

02:44:53.000 And you can't pass that on genetically, I don't think.

02:44:56.000 Do you know what a scrub bull is?

02:44:58.000 No, tell me.

02:44:59.000 A scrub bull are animals that, until the last X amount of years, used to be domestic cattle, but then they get loose and they live in the countryside.

02:45:09.000 And this is something that happens often in Australia.

02:45:13.000 Where they're not necessarily the same strain anymore as a strain of cattle that you would use for beef or that you would bring to market.

02:45:25.000 They have different genetics now because they've been wild for so long and they're not like an Angus cow. 0.91

02:45:32.000 So if you have Angus cows and this thing shows up and starts fucking your... 0.98

02:45:42.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:45:55.000 They're never taking out a bull. 0.68

02:45:57.000 You would need a lion or something like that to kill one of these things.

02:46:00.000 And they get cool looking. 0.60

02:46:02.000 They look different.

02:46:03.000 They don't look like a cow anymore.

02:46:05.000 They start looking more and more primitive in some weird way.

02:46:10.000 They start looking more like an animal that you would see in Africa or something.

02:46:14.000 It's really fascinating, man.

02:46:17.000 Like, here's some of the photos.

02:46:19.000 Like, look at that.

02:46:19.000 That's a Tibetan yak.

02:46:20.000 It looks like Africa a long time ago. 0.64

02:46:22.000 Yeah, that was a different animal.

02:46:23.000 But if you just Google scrub bull, is that what it is?

02:46:27.000 Okay, like that one in the upper left-hand corner is a perfect example.

02:46:30.000 Like, that is not really...

02:46:31.000 Obviously, that's a cow, right? 0.96

02:46:33.000 That's a bull.

02:46:33.000 But that looks way different than the average bull that you see either at the rodeo or...

02:46:39.000 I'm looking at his balls back there, right? 0.99

02:46:41.000 Huge balls, son. 1.00

02:46:41.000 Is that what I'm looking at, Joe? 1.00

02:46:43.000 That's a package, son. 0.98

02:46:46.000 Yeah, huge balls, giant antlers, or horns rather, and his face and just the way his body's built, it's different. 0.98

02:46:55.000 He's a wild animal, and he's living the way they're supposed to be, and that's why he looks like a wild animal. 0.97

02:47:01.000 And you know what else?

02:47:02.000 He's fine.

02:47:03.000 He's doing great.

02:47:04.000 They're super aggressive, though.

02:47:06.000 They're some of the most dangerous things to run across if you're out in the bush, as it were.

02:47:11.000 Huh, I don't see what you mean.

02:47:13.000 That's another one of the most dangerous things.

02:47:15.000 What is that?

02:47:16.000 It's a buffalo.

02:47:18.000 Will they ram cars?

02:47:19.000 Oh, yeah.

02:47:20.000 Hey, has there been a lot of animal chasing?

02:47:24.000 You saw the tiger eating the lady last week.

02:47:26.000 In Beijing.

02:47:26.000 That was pretty wild.

02:47:27.000 But a lot of giraffes chasing cars and shit? 1.00

02:47:31.000 Have you seen some of these videos? 0.99

02:47:32.000 No.

02:47:33.000 Look up giraffe chases cars. 1.00

02:47:37.000 Listen, it only makes sense. 0.99

02:47:40.000 Hauling ass, by the way. 0.99

02:47:41.000 It only makes sense. 1.00

02:47:42.000 They're tired of our shit. 1.00

02:47:44.000 Here you go. 1.00

02:47:46.000 Oh, I've seen this, yeah.

02:47:48.000 That is crazy. 1.00

02:47:49.000 Look at the strides on this motherfucker. 1.00

02:47:51.000 I know, they're shitting their pants. 1.00

02:47:52.000 Look at it running behind them. 1.00

02:47:54.000 You know, they would hit you with their head, dude. 0.93

02:47:56.000 Oh my god, look, it's right behind you. 0.84

02:47:58.000 It's like you were saying about the neck whip thing.

02:48:07.000 Oh my god, this is terrifying.

02:48:13.000 I think he comes around a corner.

02:48:16.000 Again?

02:48:16.000 I think he does.

02:48:18.000 I don't know if this is the right one.

02:48:19.000 Oh my god.

02:48:20.000 What do you think it would do to those people? 0.98

02:48:21.000 Just start smacking him with his head? 1.00

02:48:23.000 Yeah, whip his neck. 1.00

02:48:24.000 Whip his neck at them. 0.95

02:48:25.000 It's really dangerous. 0.97

02:48:27.000 Like, you gotta think of how big his head is, man.

02:48:31.000 Have you ever seen them fight?

02:48:33.000 It's so cool. 0.96

02:48:34.000 Yeah, they beat the shit out of each other. 0.98

02:48:35.000 It's really painful. 0.99

02:48:36.000 In terms of animal shit, that's one of those things where you're like, I don't know, guys. 0.99

02:48:41.000 It is one of the weirdest. 0.99

02:48:42.000 I don't mind biting, but that's really fucking odd. 0.95

02:48:46.000 It's one of the weirdest. 0.99

02:48:48.000 It's one of the weirdest things.

02:48:49.000 And you want to talk about a concussion.

02:48:50.000 Oh, yeah.

02:48:51.000 Like, they must just be evolved or have really small brains or very tightly packed brains.

02:48:55.000 You know, sheep can slam into each other, like, super hard.

02:48:58.000 But their brains are literally connected to their head different than ours are.

02:49:03.000 They're like, they've evolved to absorbed impact.

02:49:06.000 Yeah.

02:49:07.000 I would assume rams are too.

02:49:09.000 Yeah, that's insane.

02:49:12.000 Those wild desert bighorn sheep.

02:49:14.000 Look at these things.

02:49:16.000 Oh my god, this is crazy.

02:49:19.000 What a strange trait to develop to have neck fighting.

02:49:24.000 They're fighting like two snakes. 0.99

02:49:27.000 Oh my god, they beat the fuck out of each other too. 0.97

02:49:31.000 See if you can find a good video of bighorn sheep headbutting each other. 0.99

02:49:37.000 Because these fucking things, they have these giant battering rams that grow out of their heads and they raise up and crash into each other. 1.00

02:49:50.000 And the sound sounds like a rifle going off. 1.00

02:49:53.000 Yeah.

02:49:53.000 And they do it in the mountains.

02:49:56.000 Oh, these things. 1.00

02:49:57.000 These fucking things. 1.00

02:50:01.000 Look at this. 1.00

02:50:02.000 Antlers on that thing.

02:50:03.000 Look at this.

02:50:04.000 Boom! 0.99

02:50:06.000 Jesus!

02:50:08.000 Boom! 0.99

02:50:14.000 Oh my god!

02:50:19.000 Yeah, we don't have to listen to what that guy's saying.

02:50:21.000 He's just talking about snow on the ground, and the sheep are going after it.

02:50:26.000 It's crazy how hard they headbutt each other.

02:50:30.000 Boom! 0.99

02:50:30.000 Is that what the audio was from, or was it from something else? 0.99

02:50:33.000 No, it was from that.

02:50:34.000 It's weird audio.

02:50:36.000 But they evolved to do this.

02:50:39.000 It's just such a strange trait.

02:50:40.000 Look at this.

02:50:42.000 Oh my god!

02:50:43.000 Play that back! 1.00

02:50:47.000 That's a rifle! 1.00

02:50:51.000 Oh, they're getting rid of the fuck, I think. 1.00

02:50:53.000 Boy, they're so weird. 1.00

02:50:55.000 These things are straight out of Star Wars.

02:50:57.000 They really are.

02:50:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:50:59.000 I mean, look at this fucking animal. 1.00

02:51:01.000 Any kind of natural defense is always interesting. 1.00

02:51:04.000 A shell or a horn.

02:51:07.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:51:08.000 Oh, these things are dope as fuck, man. 0.99

02:51:11.000 They have brought them back to a lot of environments now. 1.00

02:51:14.000 They've transplanted them all throughout the West.

02:51:17.000 It's kind of interesting.

02:51:19.000 They brought them to a bunch of different states.

02:51:21.000 They took viable males and females and they installed them in these areas and monitored their growth.

02:51:28.000 Are they indigenous to the states?

02:51:31.000 They used to be?

02:51:32.000 Yes, they are.

02:51:33.000 But they used to be in more areas.

02:51:34.000 They used to have a wider territory.

02:51:36.000 What happened was, I guess, after Civil War, there were a bunch of people that were market hunters.

02:51:46.000 And the same type of people that shot all the buffalo for the hides and all that jazz.

02:51:51.000 They did that with a lot of animals all throughout the entire West.

02:51:54.000 And they potentially wiped out or got close to having them wiped out.

02:52:01.000 A bunch of different big game species like elk and deer and it took a while to bring all those things back.

02:52:06.000 So what a lot of these conservation organizations are doing is like taking these things and dropping them off into the mountains some places and then monitoring them and making sure their populations survive. 0.69

02:52:17.000 But it's a fucking way too cool of an animal to not figure out how to bring back. 0.79

02:52:23.000 You gotta bring it back. 0.98

02:52:24.000 Dude, I've seen them in the wild. 0.99

02:52:26.000 They are fucking cool. 0.99

02:52:29.000 They're cool looking. 0.99

02:52:29.000 And they seem like their nature is okay, despite the headbutting. 0.99

02:52:33.000 Oh no, they're just chilling. 1.00

02:52:35.000 They just don't want that dude to fuck their girls. 1.00

02:52:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:52:38.000 It's standard.

02:52:39.000 Yeah, we understand it.

02:52:40.000 Yeah, as far as violence goes, it's probably the nicest violence.

02:52:44.000 To us, it would suck if they headbutted us, but it doesn't seem to bother them.

02:52:48.000 But I also would promise you that NFL players watch that and are like, yeah.

02:52:53.000 Let me get after that. 0.99

02:52:54.000 Yeah, like before games and shit. 0.99

02:52:56.000 Maybe NFL players have to evolve to develop a connection to their brain like a Rams. 0.98

02:53:02.000 Yeah.

02:53:03.000 I think it's going to be a while.

02:53:05.000 It's going to take a few decades.

02:53:07.000 You hearing that helicopter, by the way?

02:53:08.000 Mm-hmm.

02:53:09.000 Still going on.

02:53:10.000 There was some sort of a gas leak a few miles away. 1.00

02:53:14.000 Some shit went down. 0.99

02:53:15.000 Still going down. 1.00

02:53:16.000 Still going down.

02:53:20.000 Yeah, watching those things headbutt each other just makes you weirded out as to how the different ways that things evolve, but they're all a kind of life.

02:53:28.000 Like how strong the difference is between an octopus that can get out of the hole the size of a quarter and squeeze its whole body through and that thing that slams its head into one of the other competing males raises up on its back legs and comes crashing forward.

02:53:45.000 And they don't even budge, man.

02:53:47.000 Yeah.

02:53:48.000 They collide with each other.

02:53:49.000 It sounds like a gun went off and they just stare at each other.

02:53:52.000 They're like, okay.

02:53:53.000 Such a cool animal.

02:53:54.000 They have giant nuts.

02:53:56.000 Huge.

02:53:57.000 This is based on first-hand observation?

02:53:59.000 Yeah, it was pointed out to me by this guy Steve Rinella. 0.98

02:54:03.000 It's amazing, you know when you think, I don't see a lot of dicks day to day? 0.99

02:54:07.000 You see so many dicks, like on animals and dogs, it's crazy. 0.99

02:54:12.000 And we just are fine with animal dicks. 0.99

02:54:14.000 It's true. 1.00

02:54:15.000 But human dicks we have laws about. 1.00

02:54:19.000 But we are living in a playground of fucking animal cock. 1.00

02:54:24.000 Well, you know what I think? 0.99

02:54:25.000 I think people are supposed to live I think naturally, we're inclined to live in a place where you don't need to do anything as far as clothing.

02:54:35.000 If you go back to the indigenous people in the Amazon that are chilling and drinking ayahuasca and going fishing and growing their own vegetables, they're basically naked. 0.99

02:54:46.000 They've probably been like that forever.

02:54:48.000 They're walking around barefoot.

02:54:50.000 I think as soon as you put on clothes, As soon as you can manipulate your environment and live in a spot where you normally wouldn't be able to live, but you figured out fire...

02:54:59.000 Like, say, Phoenix?

02:55:00.000 Oh, yeah.

02:55:01.000 Perfect example.

02:55:02.000 Yeah.

02:55:02.000 Perfect example.

02:55:03.000 My friend Mike Goldberg lives out there, and he likes it.

02:55:07.000 He just goes from one air-conditioned room to another air-conditioned room...

02:55:11.000 Work out in an air-conditioned gym.

02:55:13.000 Yeah.

02:55:14.000 Go home to an air-conditioned house.

02:55:15.000 Most cities in America are either way too, like, how do you put up with this cold or how do you put up with this heat?

02:55:21.000 I wonder if that could, like, adversely affect your health if you're only breathing, like, air-conditioned air all the time.

02:55:27.000 Oh, yeah, like mortality rates.

02:55:29.000 Yeah, I wonder.

02:55:30.000 Probably not, though, because old people go to Florida. 1.00

02:55:34.000 And they go to it.

02:55:36.000 Yeah, they thrive.

02:55:37.000 It seems to put a couple of years on them.

02:55:39.000 Yeah.

02:55:40.000 I think struggling with your environment, yeah.

02:55:43.000 Yeah, people are less likely to dive.

02:55:46.000 I think... 0.99

02:55:46.000 I can fuck with heat. 0.99

02:55:48.000 I could take Phoenix way over, like, Minnesota in it. 0.99

02:55:50.000 Yeah, a lot of people feel that way.

02:55:53.000 The negative aspects of heat is you just have to turn on the air conditioning.

02:55:58.000 Yeah.

02:55:58.000 The negative aspects of that cold is like nothing's happening.

02:56:01.000 You might get shut down. 0.99

02:56:02.000 The fucking power might go out. 1.00

02:56:04.000 You might have to light your couch on fire to stay alive. 1.00

02:56:07.000 Yes.

02:56:07.000 Whereas I feel like I could withstand 100...

02:56:11.000 30 degrees if I had water, right?

02:56:14.000 Yeah.

02:56:15.000 Like, here's all that you would have to have.

02:56:17.000 You'd have to have two things happen at the same time.

02:56:18.000 A pandemic epidemic, as far as like a disease, and power going out.

02:56:23.000 You'd have to have those two things happen in the winter.

02:56:25.000 And the people that are supposed to turn the power back on, they're not going to go to work.

02:56:30.000 There's some kind of an evil flu.

02:56:32.000 If you get near people and they sneeze on you, you're going to be dead within 24 hours.

02:56:36.000 Like...

02:56:36.000 That's all possible.

02:56:37.000 Yeah.

02:56:38.000 That can happen.

02:56:38.000 And if that does happen, and the power grid stays down during the winter in some place, and they can't figure out how to get people to go out there and fix it, and...

02:56:47.000 Yeah, whereas, what's the stats on heat?

02:56:51.000 Can you look up the stats on heat?

02:56:52.000 It's so hot when the air conditioning doesn't work, though.

02:56:54.000 It's true.

02:56:54.000 After it's five hours.

02:56:56.000 It's fine, man.

02:56:57.000 It's fine.

02:56:58.000 It's true.

02:56:58.000 Oh, no, you're 100% right.

02:57:00.000 So hot.

02:57:00.000 But...

02:57:02.000 Take your shirt off.

02:57:03.000 You can sit in the shade.

02:57:04.000 You can lay in the pool.

02:57:05.000 It's hot in here if it's 80. You can sweat.

02:57:08.000 It's a natural thing.

02:57:10.000 You have no natural defenses against cold. 1.00

02:57:13.000 You sound like a pussy, Jamie. 1.00

02:57:15.000 You know what you sound like, Jamie? 1.00

02:57:16.000 You sound like a no-good pussy. 1.00

02:57:17.000 I went through a week with no power in the middle of an ice storm. 1.00

02:57:22.000 We survived it.

02:57:23.000 You can put on layers and get warm.

02:57:25.000 You can start a fire.

02:57:27.000 If you want to get cold, you can't get cold once it's 100 degrees.

02:57:32.000 I've seen that argument.

02:57:33.000 My buddy has that argument.

02:57:34.000 It makes sense.

02:57:36.000 But I don't mind super-duper hotness, though.

02:57:39.000 I just don't mind it.

02:57:40.000 My body likes it better.

02:57:42.000 Do they?

02:57:42.000 Yeah.

02:57:43.000 Well, I think everybody's body is certainly different.

02:57:45.000 I mean, you'd have to wonder, you know, if they believe that there's certain people that have diets that...

02:57:52.000 Would better suit them because their ancestors came from a certain part of the world.

02:57:55.000 Like, that's a theory.

02:57:56.000 I think that kind of makes sense, that people would have different temperature requirements as well, you know, what makes them feel like it works.

02:58:05.000 Yeah.

02:58:06.000 I think it stands to reason.

02:58:08.000 It's like, I don't have good circulation.

02:58:10.000 I just think that people, in being able to manipulate the environment the way we can...

02:58:15.000 There's too many of us.

02:58:16.000 We couldn't stay in all the good spots.

02:58:19.000 We can't all just live in Costa Rica.

02:58:20.000 We can't all live in San Diego.

02:58:21.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:58:22.000 In fact, people don't even really want to live in San Diego and it's there now.

02:58:26.000 San Diego is here.

02:58:27.000 Yeah, but San Diego is amazing.

02:58:29.000 No, I know.

02:58:29.000 But they still are like, it's perfect climate.

02:58:32.000 And people are like, no.

02:58:33.000 I would even say San Diego is not warm enough for me.

02:58:36.000 Really?

02:58:36.000 I like LA heat.

02:58:38.000 Wow.

02:58:38.000 You know what?

02:58:39.000 There's a lot of cool people in San Diego.

02:58:42.000 I've always enjoyed hanging out with people in San Diego.

02:58:44.000 I think it's an interesting combination between military and surfers.

02:58:50.000 Yeah, they're not a very stressed out group.

02:58:52.000 No.

02:58:53.000 The San Diego people.

02:58:54.000 I think it's a really good city, man.

02:58:56.000 I think it's a really good city.

02:58:57.000 I think San Diego's like probably one of my favorite, definitely one of my favorite cities in California.

02:59:02.000 And La Jolla has the most ticklish audiences.

02:59:05.000 Ticklish?

02:59:05.000 That's what I say when a crowd's like so good, you're like, oh, you guys are just ticklish.

02:59:09.000 That club is awesome.

02:59:10.000 Yeah.

02:59:10.000 The La Jolla store.

02:59:12.000 Yeah.

02:59:12.000 I think I want to do that the next time I go back there.

02:59:14.000 You should, what do you do, theaters there?

02:59:16.000 Yeah, I've been doing theaters there, but, uh...

02:59:19.000 I did Laughing Skull in Atlanta last weekend.

02:59:23.000 Oh yeah, that's really good, huh?

02:59:24.000 Dude, it was so fun.

02:59:25.000 Yeah.

02:59:26.000 And it made me think, like, I gotta do more little places as well.

02:59:31.000 How'd you end up doing Laughing Skull?

02:59:33.000 Because I wanted to do a small spot.

02:59:34.000 Because I did the Tabernacle there last time I was there. 0.96

02:59:37.000 And I want to fuck around and come up with some new stuff. 0.95

02:59:39.000 And I've got some stuff I'm working on. 0.99

02:59:41.000 And I just knew it would be real intimate.

02:59:44.000 Real tight little crowd.

02:59:46.000 It's only like 80 people.

02:59:48.000 It's so cool.

02:59:49.000 What'd you charge?

02:59:50.000 20 bucks or something?

02:59:50.000 I don't know.

02:59:52.000 Nothing crazy.

02:59:53.000 But it wasn't like a $100 ticket gold circle.

02:59:58.000 You know, it's comedy club prices.

03:00:00.000 It's a comedy club.

03:00:01.000 Comedy clubs are so important, and a lot of people that get to theaters, and they get to that theater stage, they never want to give back to the comedy clubs.

03:00:12.000 They always have this weird adversarial relationship with club owners.

03:00:15.000 But I'm always like, look, nobody's perfect here, but if it wasn't for these people that are willing to open a comedy club... 0.99

03:00:22.000 Crazy assholes like you and me wouldn't have any place to work. 0.99

03:00:25.000 We're not going to make our own club, right? 1.00

03:00:28.000 Gods that are awesome like Bob Fisher owns the Ice House.

03:00:31.000 He's such a sweetheart of a guy that it doesn't just benefit you to do it because it's a good thing financially to help him and help that club, but you need people like that.

03:00:45.000 That's the only way we ever get to work.

03:00:47.000 Same with, like, Comedy Magic Club.

03:00:49.000 Oh, Mike Lacey.

03:00:51.000 He's the salt of the earth.

03:00:53.000 He's the sweetest guy.

03:00:54.000 He's one of the nicest people that's ever walked the face of this planet.

03:00:58.000 Yeah.

03:00:58.000 Agreed.

03:00:59.000 Yeah, man, look, in all this shit, Jamie Masada takes a lot of heat, but think about all the charitable stuff that Jamie Masada's done. 0.99

03:01:06.000 Yeah, absolutely. 0.99

03:01:06.000 Jamie Masada's done a lot of great stuff. 0.99

03:01:08.000 Yeah.

03:01:09.000 He really has.

03:01:10.000 And he continues to work with a lot of underprivileged children, and he does...

03:01:15.000 I get to do comedy camp on Saturday.

03:01:18.000 He's a good dude.

03:01:19.000 Jamie's a good dude.

03:01:20.000 And we need all these folks.

03:01:22.000 We need all these folks.

03:01:24.000 And they need us.

03:01:26.000 But there's something that happens when people...

03:01:28.000 I think it definitely happens when you don't get the respect you think that you deserve early on.

03:01:35.000 As comics?

03:01:37.000 Yeah, but those offers are pretty...

03:01:40.000 Yeah, 1500? 0.97

03:01:42.000 Like, they're really shitty. 0.98

03:01:43.000 Sometimes. 0.95

03:01:44.000 And then they go like, well, you haven't done anything.

03:01:46.000 It's like the negotiation thing. 1.00

03:01:47.000 It's hard to forget that shit. 1.00

03:01:49.000 It is. 1.00

03:01:50.000 And it does become this thing of like, it forces you as a comic to go like, well, when I get the chance to fuck you, you're gonna get fucked. 1.00

03:01:58.000 Exactly. 1.00

03:01:59.000 The same way you're fucking me now. 1.00

03:02:00.000 And they do it to, and they fucked pretty much everyone. 1.00

03:02:03.000 And they developed this connection in their head, the club owners, that all the club owners are adversarial. 0.99

03:02:10.000 With each other?

03:02:11.000 No, with you.

03:02:12.000 Yeah.

03:02:12.000 Like, they're all your adversary.

03:02:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:02:15.000 You're the comic, those are the club owners, they're trying to fuck you, they're all pieces of shit, they should give you your fucking money, they should be happy you're there. 1.00

03:02:22.000 Yeah, opposite sides of the aisle. 1.00

03:02:24.000 Yep, absolutely.

03:02:26.000 It's like the weirdest relationship. 1.00

03:02:28.000 But if there was no comedy clubs, dude, we would be fucked. 0.99

03:02:32.000 We're so lucky that those goddamn things exploded in the 80s. 1.00

03:02:36.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:02:38.000 Think about the Lenny Bruce days.

03:02:40.000 When he first started out, he used to have to MC. Yeah, there were like five clubs.

03:02:44.000 Yeah.

03:02:44.000 He used to have to go on, you do your stand-up in between.

03:02:46.000 Yeah, strippers or fucking. 1.00

03:02:48.000 Yeah, or something along those lines. 1.00

03:02:50.000 Yeah.

03:02:50.000 There was no comedy clubs.

03:02:52.000 That's a really recent thing in terms of the last hundred years.

03:02:56.000 Well, I was explaining to a buddy of mine about how comedy has become so necessary, and I think it's partially because of the news, in that When the news started, every news division lost money.

03:03:12.000 But in order to get a license, you had to have a good news division.

03:03:16.000 And then in the 80s, they deregulated it.

03:03:18.000 And then news became a profit center for networks.

03:03:24.000 And good journalism basically went out the window.

03:03:27.000 So guys like Jon Stewart and guys like Michael Moore and guys like Chris Rock and guys that were like political and had TV shows became almost like the function of news programs before this.

03:03:43.000 And I was explaining to him, and he was like, oh, okay, because I was explaining to someone how John came, how his rise to power, and Colbert, and all these people, because there's no alternative.

03:03:53.000 And now the internet, you can get at least Reddit, or there's a lot of shitty websites with quote-unquote news on them.

03:04:01.000 But for a long time you couldn't get, it was just, there was a vacuum of like, there's no big objective opinion.

03:04:09.000 Or John Oliver on HBO where he'll do these deep dives into because no one else is going to do them.

03:04:15.000 Because there's no money in them, allegedly.

03:04:17.000 They'd rather do something sensational. 1.00

03:04:20.000 Like the dumbest thing, or the most recent dumb thing Trump said. 0.99

03:04:24.000 And there's no, like, there's a premium on objective truth. 0.99

03:04:30.000 Or at least funnily subjective truth.

03:04:35.000 Joe Rogan, your thoughts?

03:04:36.000 This is a weird time.

03:04:37.000 It's a weird time when it comes to trying to...

03:04:44.000 Disassemble the way we've got this bizarre system set up, the way we've got it structured.

03:04:50.000 Like, we're getting older, you know? 0.99

03:04:52.000 And as we get older, we realize, well, we're just going to pass on this stupid system to the people that are coming next. 0.98

03:04:58.000 We haven't fixed anything. 1.00

03:05:01.000 Well, the thing is, I almost don't even know how to fix the shit. 0.99

03:05:04.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

03:05:05.000 Look, it's a real good question.

03:05:07.000 But there's an entanglement problem.

03:05:10.000 It's like we were talking about earlier when we were talking about different ways that people are making money.

03:05:14.000 Like, there's so much money to be made.

03:05:16.000 We were talking about it in divorce courts.

03:05:19.000 Yeah.

03:05:19.000 But think about how much money there is to be made in keeping this system of government exactly the same way it is right now.

03:05:25.000 Yeah.

03:05:25.000 There's so many jobs that are dependent upon it.

03:05:27.000 Like, even if we think that it's a ridiculous idea, we need to abolish the whole thing and start from scratch.

03:05:32.000 What do we do with all those people that are working for it?

03:05:35.000 Well, the other thing I was thinking is people...

03:05:37.000 Like, the thing that I do like about the Trump movement is people just going like, no, the system's broken.

03:05:43.000 And it doesn't work for, it doesn't work for people anymore because everybody's bought and paid for.

03:05:48.000 Everybody in Congress lobbying is, pays, literally lobbyists write laws.

03:05:54.000 So people, and people don't like it and they don't know how to stop it.

03:05:57.000 Right.

03:05:57.000 So you've got people, I've got a system, people go, well, do you know anyone that you think would run for office?

03:06:04.000 No.

03:06:05.000 Do you know what I mean?

03:06:05.000 And as much as it's like, because it's a weird job, I don't know anyone who's just like that ideologically driven and could navigate the way it is now.

03:06:15.000 So as much as I'm like, well, we're going to shake the system up.

03:06:18.000 To what?

03:06:19.000 But it's not just that.

03:06:20.000 Stop and think about what it is.

03:06:22.000 It's like...

03:06:22.000 To elect a leader, for someone to campaign and tell you that they would make the best leader.

03:06:30.000 Like, all throughout history, the people that are proclaiming themselves to be the ones that you should follow are almost always the ones you should never follow.

03:06:38.000 Exactly.

03:06:39.000 Right?

03:06:39.000 So when someone is proclaiming themselves to be capable of leading this land, and I am going to be your king, and I will take you to the highest heights!

03:06:49.000 Right, but I don't even think kings needed to do that.

03:06:51.000 Right.

03:06:52.000 Well, I don't think they got a chance to do that. 0.99

03:06:53.000 You'd have to kill a king. 0.98

03:06:54.000 You'd have to be an usurper.

03:06:56.000 But this is essentially the same model, right, that they're doing when they're running for president, even though we know that that's not the kind of personality trait that you would want from a leader.

03:07:06.000 You would want someone who's...

03:07:08.000 Who's not in any way promoting of themselves.

03:07:13.000 Yeah, you want a selfless person who does this thing that's incredibly self-interested.

03:07:20.000 And they would have to figure out how to fairly monitor the society that we live in.

03:07:27.000 How to fairly...

03:07:28.000 When do you decide when you put people in jail?

03:07:31.000 Do we throw all the old rules out and completely look at them all with new facts and new ideas?

03:07:38.000 There's a lot of weird drug arguments where there's certain drugs that are illegal that are way more dangerous than certain drugs that are illegal.

03:07:45.000 And then you look at this money trail behind all that, and you're like, okay, how can you How can you guys still do this?

03:07:50.000 Yeah.

03:07:50.000 Like, how can you still do this?

03:07:51.000 Like, we should make things legal that the scientists agree should be legal.

03:07:57.000 Right.

03:07:57.000 And then everything else is dangerous.

03:07:58.000 We should figure out how to regulate it.

03:08:00.000 But you can't decide.

03:08:02.000 Like, why is everybody deciding based on, like, ancient information?

03:08:07.000 Right.

03:08:07.000 Because it's a democratically elected government.

03:08:10.000 But, again, it attracts the wrong kinds of people.

03:08:14.000 It's, you know, like Churchill or somebody said, it's the...

03:08:17.000 It's the best of all the bad systems.

03:08:21.000 Yeah, for sure.

03:08:22.000 Obama released or exonerated a bunch of drug war victims today, which I thought was really fascinating.

03:08:31.000 How many was it?

03:08:31.000 I think it's a few hundred.

03:08:33.000 Yeah, I think it's like 300, something like that?

03:08:35.000 Yeah, which is impressive.

03:08:36.000 Yeah, and you know what I hope he said to him? 1.00

03:08:38.000 Like, if you fuck up, you're fucking me, basically. 1.00

03:08:43.000 Well, it's... 1.00

03:08:44.000 Who knows what kind of damage is done when someone's in jail for long periods of time.

03:08:48.000 Oh yeah, the idea that this guy can't vote, can't get most jobs.

03:08:52.000 Right. 0.99

03:08:54.000 Yeah, it's like a very, very fucked up system. 0.99

03:08:57.000 Now, how does that work? 0.99

03:08:58.000 Are you an ex-felon? 0.87

03:09:00.000 If the president writes you clean, he lets you out?

03:09:03.000 Oh yeah, I don't know.

03:09:03.000 If you're exonerated, I don't know.

03:09:05.000 Does that make you pardoned?

03:09:07.000 He's been touched by magic.

03:09:10.000 You've been touched by magic.

03:09:11.000 The president has magic.

03:09:12.000 He can tell the court that they have to let people out of jail.

03:09:17.000 How old is that wacky idea? 1.00

03:09:19.000 That might be the wackiest of all the wacky old shit. 1.00

03:09:24.000 You can decide that the guy who killed people should get free. 1.00

03:09:28.000 Because you're the king.

03:09:29.000 Hankley went free the other day.

03:09:31.000 See that?

03:09:32.000 What?

03:09:32.000 Yeah.

03:09:33.000 What?

03:09:33.000 He's out on the streets, man.

03:09:34.000 He might be listening to us for As We Speak.

03:09:36.000 What?

03:09:36.000 John Hinckley.

03:09:37.000 The one who shot Reagan?

03:09:39.000 Shot Reagan, yeah. 1.00

03:09:39.000 Holy shit, they let him free? 1.00

03:09:41.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:09:41.000 They're trying to get Obama killed. 1.00

03:09:44.000 After 35 years. 0.54

03:09:45.000 Who was he trying to show?

03:09:46.000 Wow.

03:09:46.000 He was trying to impress Jodie Foster.

03:09:48.000 That's right.

03:09:49.000 It turns out you were barking up the wrong tree, friend.

03:09:52.000 She don't like dudes.

03:09:54.000 Hey, bro.

03:09:55.000 You don't know about that.

03:09:57.000 Actually, she's out. 1.00

03:09:58.000 The right guy with the right dick. 1.00

03:10:00.000 That's right. 0.99

03:10:00.000 I'm sorry. 0.99

03:10:01.000 The right lunatic with the right dick. 1.00

03:10:03.000 Brought it back. 1.00

03:10:04.000 Brought it back to the land of the heteros.

03:10:06.000 I gotta get out of here, JoJo. 0.99

03:10:07.000 Let's get the fuck out of here, dude. 0.97

03:10:08.000 But I did want to tell the people that I will be in Chicago and Madison, Wisconsin, the 18th and 19th. 0.96

03:10:17.000 Go to 3mics.com.

03:10:19.000 Where is it?

03:10:19.000 What are you doing in Chicago?

03:10:20.000 I'm doing 3mics.

03:10:22.000 Oh, the Thalia Theater?

03:10:25.000 Thalia Theater.

03:10:26.000 Yeah.

03:10:27.000 Chicago's got a lot of cool old theaters.

03:10:29.000 Yeah, it's cool.

03:10:29.000 And the Madison, I'm doing the Majestic.

03:10:32.000 And then I'm shooting three mics in Los Angeles, September 9th.

03:10:36.000 Don't have a venue yet.

03:10:38.000 Majestic Theater in Madison, Wisconsin?

03:10:40.000 Yeah.

03:10:40.000 That's a dope spot.

03:10:41.000 Yeah.

03:10:42.000 So you don't change shirts or anything, do you?

03:10:45.000 No, same shirt.

03:10:47.000 Imagine if you had wardrobe changes.

03:10:49.000 Yeah, it'd be pretty great.

03:10:50.000 Put a costume on.

03:10:52.000 So yeah, so 3Mikes, September 9th in LA. Go to 3Mikes.com or follow me on Twitter.

03:10:58.000 I'll update it on 18th in Madison of August and 19th of August in Chicago.

03:11:05.000 I hope we delved enough into that magnetic treatment for depression.

03:11:10.000 Yeah, look it up if you're interested.

03:11:12.000 Nothing has been more helpful to me in my entire career of depression.

03:11:18.000 Is it available to everybody?

03:11:20.000 Is it on a test thing?

03:11:22.000 Yeah, you can look it up.

03:11:23.000 Like I said, it's covered by Blue Cross.

03:11:25.000 That's pretty impressive.

03:11:26.000 Yeah, it's hugely helpful.

03:11:28.000 And the numbers are really good.

03:11:31.000 There's a new one also called...

03:11:33.000 I want to call it like...

03:11:34.000 Theta burst or alpha burst CMT. But they're using the CMT shit for tons of... 1.00

03:11:39.000 Like you were saying about that Radiolab. 0.99

03:11:40.000 They're using it for tons of different brain areas.

03:11:43.000 And it's really effective.

03:11:45.000 And I say that having experienced it firsthand.

03:11:48.000 It's kind of crazy.

03:11:49.000 We're juicing our brains up with electricity and...

03:11:52.000 Firing them up.

03:11:53.000 Who gets hurt?

03:11:54.000 Yeah, good.

03:11:56.000 We're gonna have magneto helmets one day for sure, right?

03:11:59.000 Like the X-Men dude, they put that helmet on and all the magnets and he would float through the air.

03:12:04.000 Yeah, hopefully. 0.99

03:12:04.000 We're gonna have those fucking things. 0.99

03:12:06.000 We just gotta make it to the... 0.99

03:12:07.000 We gotta make it past our failing bodies, but once we get there...

03:12:11.000 I think one of these cranial helmets, if they had a cranial helmet that came up with, that had all these electrodes just constantly zapping your brain while you're walking around with it on.

03:12:20.000 Yeah.

03:12:20.000 See your life clear.

03:12:21.000 Yes.

03:12:22.000 Yes.

03:12:23.000 You're a good boy, Joe.

03:12:24.000 Everybody knows it.

03:12:25.000 You're a good man as well.

03:12:26.000 Yeah.

03:12:27.000 I like you.

03:12:27.000 Good to see you, buddy.

03:12:28.000 Nice talk.

03:12:29.000 I always enjoy our conversations.

03:12:30.000 Yeah, I do too.

03:12:30.000 They're fun.

03:12:31.000 Yeah.

03:12:31.000 Neil Brennan, ladies and gentlemen.

03:12:33.000 All right.

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 03, 2016

Joe Rogan Experience #830 - Neal Brennan

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript