The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #829 - Wayne Federman

00:00:01.000 Wayne Fetterman.

00:00:02.000 How are you, sir?

00:00:03.000 I'm swell, thank you.

00:00:04.000 Swell?

00:00:05.000 Swell, yeah.

00:00:05.000 First time anyone's ever said that.

00:00:07.000 Really?

00:00:07.000 On this podcast, when I asked him, how you doing?

00:00:10.000 Swell.

00:00:10.000 You're the first guy.

00:00:12.000 Well, and what number podcast is this?

00:00:14.000 800 and something?

00:00:16.000 800 and...

00:00:16.000 Yeah.

00:00:17.000 I wrote it down.

00:00:18.000 29. 829. So you're the first guy to ever say swell.

00:00:20.000 What's the usual response?

00:00:23.000 I don't know.

00:00:24.000 It's just standard noises, you know?

00:00:26.000 Great.

00:00:26.000 Awesome.

00:00:27.000 Yeah.

00:00:28.000 You know, standard stuff.

00:00:30.000 Okay.

00:00:30.000 The way people normally talk.

00:00:31.000 Well, you're going to learn something about me.

00:00:33.000 Wow.

00:00:33.000 Not standard.

00:00:34.000 Well.

00:00:35.000 Yeah.

00:00:36.000 It's sketchy.

00:00:37.000 It's sketchy.

00:00:39.000 So we were talking before this podcast about someone stealing your Twitter handle, man.

00:00:44.000 I inadvertently posted at Wayne Fetterman.

00:00:47.000 Right.

00:00:48.000 And I thought it was you because when you go to it- I did have it.

00:00:50.000 It looks like you.

00:00:51.000 Oh, I had it.

00:00:52.000 So how'd this guy steal it?

00:00:53.000 I don't know.

00:00:54.000 So he stole your password somehow.

00:00:56.000 That's the scariest part.

00:00:58.000 So how does Twitter not respond to that?

00:01:00.000 I don't know.

00:01:01.000 I tried to go through Twitter, and he wrote me, he's like, oh, don't you remember we...

00:01:05.000 And then he told a story that didn't happen about...

00:01:11.000 I mean, I have it on here if you want to look it up, and I was just like, I don't want anything to do with this guy. 0.99

00:01:16.000 This guy's a liar.

00:01:18.000 But now, this is the first time I've ever talked about it, because he has, obviously, access to my password. 0.96

00:01:25.000 Yeah.

00:01:26.000 So your password...

00:01:27.000 But I had two accounts.

00:01:28.000 I had at Fetterman, which is my main one.

00:01:30.000 Am I talking too loud?

00:01:31.000 No.

00:01:32.000 Okay.

00:01:35.000 I get excited about these things.

00:01:38.000 Well, that's something to be excited about. 1.00

00:01:39.000 I mean, that's your fucking name, and someone stole it. 0.99

00:01:42.000 I had at Fetterman, and I had at Wayne Fetterman. 1.00

00:01:45.000 I had them both.

00:01:46.000 And one was just going to be to put people to at Fetterman, because I like that one a little better.

00:01:51.000 Why do you like that one better?

00:01:53.000 That's a good question.

00:01:54.000 These are already good.

00:01:55.000 Alright, let me think.

00:01:57.000 I didn't know it was going to get this intense this early.

00:01:59.000 This is crazy.

00:02:00.000 These conversations are happening.

00:02:02.000 I don't know.

00:02:03.000 I just like the simplicity of it more than Wayne Fetterman.

00:02:07.000 Well, it's an unusual last name.

00:02:09.000 There's not a lot of Fettermans, so you could hang on to it like that, you know? 0.88

00:02:14.000 So, let me turn it back on you.

00:02:17.000 Am I allowed to do that or just to answer?

00:02:19.000 We're friends.

00:02:19.000 Come on, right?

00:02:21.000 We've known each other for 22 years.

00:02:23.000 Do you know that?

00:02:24.000 Could you get at Rogan?

00:02:26.000 I don't think so.

00:02:27.000 I wouldn't want it.

00:02:28.000 You don't want that?

00:02:29.000 No, I mean, Joe Rogan is a small name.

00:02:31.000 It's J-O-E. It's quick.

00:02:32.000 R-O-G-A-N. It's not hard. 1.00

00:02:34.000 I don't like the name Wayne.

00:02:36.000 But I bought Joe Rogan.

00:02:38.000 There was another guy named Joe Rogan.

00:02:41.000 You bought his identity.

00:02:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:43.000 It was his real name.

00:02:44.000 I think I had originally Joe Rogan Experience, like the same as the podcast name.

00:02:51.000 I think that's originally what I had.

00:02:53.000 Right.

00:02:54.000 And this guy had Joe Rogan, so I contacted him.

00:02:57.000 And I said, hey man, can I buy that from you?

00:02:59.000 And he said, sure.

00:03:00.000 And he sold it to me.

00:03:02.000 Am I allowed to ask?

00:03:03.000 I don't remember.

00:03:05.000 The number?

00:03:05.000 I don't remember.

00:03:06.000 Wait a minute.

00:03:07.000 Now that I'm thinking about this, this might not totally be true.

00:03:10.000 That might be MySpace.

00:03:12.000 I think MySpace I bought.

00:03:15.000 I think I bought Joe Rogan on MySpace.

00:03:17.000 When was the last time you were on MySpace?

00:03:19.000 Oh, it's been never.

00:03:21.000 It wasn't even me.

00:03:22.000 I think every seven years you're a new person.

00:03:25.000 They say that your cells completely swap out.

00:03:27.000 Yeah, I remember that as a kid.

00:03:28.000 It's not really me.

00:03:30.000 It's been more than seven years for sure.

00:03:32.000 It's weird, right?

00:03:33.000 It's weird how people just decide.

00:03:36.000 Everybody was saying, MySpace is dead. 0.98

00:03:38.000 And then everybody's like, shit, MySpace is dead. 0.99

00:03:41.000 Time to get the fuck out of there. 1.00

00:03:42.000 But I'm still on there. 0.99

00:03:44.000 Are you?

00:03:44.000 Come on.

00:03:45.000 I never check it or anything.

00:03:47.000 Do you use it?

00:03:48.000 No.

00:03:49.000 No.

00:03:49.000 But I still feel like I'm on there.

00:03:53.000 And there's a girl.

00:03:54.000 Can I make a recommendation about a girl?

00:03:56.000 On MySpace?

00:03:58.000 No.

00:03:58.000 She's on YouTube.

00:03:59.000 She's on YouTube.

00:04:00.000 But she wrote a song years ago on the ukulele, which is one of the many instruments I play, as you know.

00:04:07.000 And it was called My Hope is the name of the song.

00:04:10.000 That's my recommend.

00:04:11.000 And it's about parents...

00:04:14.000 Forgetting their password to shut down their MySpace account and their kids as teenagers reading it in the future.

00:04:21.000 I tried to shut my MySpace down and it was no good.

00:04:23.000 I couldn't shut it down.

00:04:24.000 I don't think they want anybody shutting it down.

00:04:26.000 I think they think somehow or another it's going to come back.

00:04:30.000 Didn't it just get sold again?

00:04:32.000 Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.

00:04:33.000 I think they keep trying to move it around and sell it.

00:04:35.000 If I'm not mistaken, and I don't know if you're into bands, I'm going to find out a lot about you, but I feel like bands still have a presence on MySpace.

00:04:45.000 Jamie?

00:04:48.000 Not bands you want to see.

00:04:49.000 Yeah, I don't think anyone's on there.

00:04:51.000 I think it's a dead zone.

00:04:52.000 Okay.

00:04:52.000 All right.

00:04:53.000 Dead zone.

00:04:54.000 The dead zone.

00:04:54.000 Did you ever see that movie?

00:04:55.000 Yes, I did.

00:04:55.000 Yeah, Cronenberg?

00:04:56.000 That's a good one.

00:04:57.000 It's a good movie.

00:04:57.000 Yeah.

00:04:58.000 I read the book, too.

00:04:59.000 What?

00:05:00.000 It's a good book.

00:05:00.000 Do you read a lot of those?

00:05:01.000 Sometimes.

00:05:02.000 I can't read fiction.

00:05:04.000 Really?

00:05:05.000 You just read nonfiction?

00:05:06.000 Guess what?

00:05:06.000 We're learning about Wayne Fetterman today.

00:05:07.000 I read both.

00:05:08.000 I prefer fiction, though, I think, for reading.

00:05:10.000 But I like reading nonfiction, too.

00:05:13.000 I'm reading a book about coyotes right now.

00:05:15.000 Obviously fiction.

00:05:16.000 No.

00:05:17.000 I'm kidding.

00:05:18.000 I'm kidding, Joe.

00:05:20.000 Well, you can have a non-fiction...

00:05:22.000 It's about a talking coyote.

00:05:23.000 You can have a fiction coyote book.

00:05:24.000 Like, why would you say it?

00:05:26.000 The title even sounds like fiction.

00:05:30.000 It's like a spiritual and supernatural history of the coyote.

00:05:33.000 Of the coyote.

00:05:34.000 Yeah.

00:05:35.000 And give me one fact I need to know about a coyote.

00:05:38.000 They're wolves.

00:05:40.000 The same family.

00:05:41.000 Yeah.

00:05:41.000 All of them.

00:05:42.000 Exactly the same animal.

00:05:43.000 Like a dog is exactly...

00:05:45.000 Like, you know, a dog can breed with dogs.

00:05:47.000 Coyotes are wolves.

00:05:48.000 They're a small wolf.

00:05:49.000 And they're originally called prairie wolves.

00:05:51.000 Yeah, I remember that.

00:05:52.000 Here's a history of the name coyote.

00:05:55.000 They used to call the people that landed here, used to call them, you know, the early settlers, called them prairie wolves when they first encountered them, like Lewis and Clark.

00:06:03.000 They first shot one, and they thought it was a fox.

00:06:06.000 They wanted to see what it was.

00:06:07.000 They shot it.

00:06:08.000 They examined it, and they said, that's not a fox.

00:06:10.000 It's a small wolf.

00:06:11.000 Classic white guy.

00:06:12.000 Let's examine this. 1.00

00:06:13.000 Kill it. 1.00

00:06:14.000 By shooting it. 1.00

00:06:14.000 Kill it. 1.00

00:06:15.000 Kill it. 1.00

00:06:16.000 Let's take a look at what we got here. 0.99

00:06:18.000 So they used to call them prairie wolves, and then the trappers encountered Native Americans who called them coyote, because that was the Aztec word for them.

00:06:31.000 The Aztec word was coyote.

00:06:33.000 And then the trappers encountered, or the Native Americans encountered Spanish people from Spain.

00:06:42.000 They called it Coyote because they had the Spanish pronunciation of the word Coyo.

00:06:49.000 And then the trappers could not say coyote, so they started calling them coyotes.

00:06:55.000 So coyotes, coyote, and prairie wolf.

00:06:59.000 Those are the original names.

00:07:01.000 And of course, coyote, which was the Aztec name.

00:07:04.000 And you still have 420 more pages to go.

00:07:08.000 The book's fascinating.

00:07:09.000 It's really fascinating.

00:07:10.000 What's really fascinating is by this guy Dan Flores.

00:07:13.000 What's really fascinating...

00:07:14.000 Oh, why would I know that name?

00:07:15.000 There's the book right there.

00:07:16.000 You see it up on the screen.

00:07:18.000 A natural and supernatural history.

00:07:20.000 Oh! 0.60

00:07:21.000 I don't know why you would.

00:07:23.000 What's interesting is the reason why coyotes are all over the country now, they're in every single state.

00:07:30.000 Every single city, even in New York City.

00:07:32.000 Including Hawaii?

00:07:32.000 No, they're not in Hawaii.

00:07:34.000 That's a state.

00:07:34.000 It's not really.

00:07:35.000 It's a country we stole. 0.99

00:07:37.000 We stole an island from a bunch of brown people. 1.00

00:07:39.000 It's fucked up, Wayne. 1.00

00:07:40.000 It's called a state. 1.00

00:07:41.000 It's bullshit. 1.00

00:07:42.000 It's the last state. 1.00

00:07:43.000 It's their own country.

00:07:44.000 1959, it came from a state.

00:07:48.000 I don't buy it.

00:07:49.000 It's going down.

00:07:50.000 Leave him alone.

00:07:51.000 It's going down on the experience.

00:07:52.000 I feel like anybody, I think they should, you know, probably be protected by us, but that's their own country.

00:07:57.000 I feel like that.

00:07:59.000 Give it back?

00:08:00.000 Like, what was that song?

00:08:03.000 Give it back.

00:08:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:08:05.000 What was that?

00:08:06.000 It was about Australia, but what was the name of that band?

00:08:11.000 Yeah, it was about the Aborigines.

00:08:12.000 Yeah.

00:08:13.000 What's that?

00:08:13.000 How do we sleep?

00:08:15.000 All our beds are burning.

00:08:17.000 Give it back.

00:08:18.000 Yeah.

00:08:19.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:08:20.000 They would drive around.

00:08:21.000 The time has come.

00:08:23.000 The safe is fair.

00:08:24.000 To pay the price.

00:08:26.000 To pay our share.

00:08:29.000 Wow, that's funny.

00:08:30.000 I can't think of that.

00:08:31.000 Wow, what is that band?

00:08:32.000 Now, I think they were a one-hit wonder, but I remember the...

00:08:36.000 Like the lead singer was like this bald guy.

00:08:39.000 Yeah, he was intense.

00:08:41.000 Very intense.

00:08:42.000 Modern something?

00:08:44.000 Boy.

00:08:45.000 I'll think of it.

00:08:46.000 I do not remember.

00:08:47.000 But I remember the video.

00:08:49.000 So you're saying give it back?

00:08:50.000 Yeah, man.

00:08:51.000 What about Alaska?

00:08:52.000 Give it back?

00:08:52.000 Nope, that's ours.

00:08:54.000 We own that shit. 0.99

00:08:55.000 Even though it's not part of the- Who else owns it? 1.00

00:08:57.000 Contiguous.

00:08:58.000 Contiguous, right?

00:08:59.000 Contiguous.

00:09:00.000 Who else owns it?

00:09:01.000 Who?

00:09:02.000 Canada?

00:09:02.000 Give it to Canada?

00:09:03.000 Fuck that. 1.00

00:09:04.000 Give it to Russia? 1.00

00:09:05.000 Give it back to Russia? 0.96

00:09:06.000 And then they're connected to Canada, which is connected to us?

00:09:08.000 I'm just saying, I'm not for giving up Hawaii.

00:09:12.000 I'm just talking about the last two states that became...

00:09:14.000 Alaska was its own country, couldn't defend itself, plus there's a lot of military in Alaska, U.S. military.

00:09:20.000 I say we keep Alaska.

00:09:21.000 Okay, so we're back to 49 states.

00:09:24.000 Yes.

00:09:24.000 You know, it'll help the flag, because then you can do the 7x7, right?

00:09:28.000 Well, that's the other thing.

00:09:30.000 Hawaii has their own flag.

00:09:32.000 Every state does.

00:09:33.000 But they really have their own flag.

00:09:35.000 They carry it around with them.

00:09:37.000 They express it.

00:09:39.000 Every state has a flag.

00:09:40.000 But when was the last time you saw somebody driving around with a California flag hanging off their car?

00:09:44.000 True.

00:09:45.000 Speaking of flags, here's something crazy.

00:09:47.000 Okay.

00:09:47.000 You might have spoken about it on the show.

00:09:49.000 You've done 829. So I don't know.

00:09:52.000 I haven't listened to all of them.

00:09:54.000 I assume you have.

00:09:55.000 But...

00:09:57.000 Six Flags.

00:09:58.000 Great Adventure?

00:09:59.000 You're familiar with it?

00:09:59.000 Yes.

00:10:00.000 Do you know the Six Flags?

00:10:01.000 No.

00:10:02.000 Are you curious?

00:10:03.000 Sure.

00:10:04.000 They're the six flags that have flown over the state of Texas.

00:10:09.000 Whoa.

00:10:10.000 If we can go through them...

00:10:12.000 Yeah.

00:10:12.000 Let's do it.

00:10:13.000 Oh.

00:10:13.000 There's more than...

00:10:14.000 That's...

00:10:15.000 Texas is that...

00:10:16.000 It's not a state, right?

00:10:17.000 It's a republic.

00:10:18.000 It's a state.

00:10:19.000 It's a state.

00:10:20.000 But they can kind of bail.

00:10:21.000 They can't...

00:10:22.000 They're a state.

00:10:23.000 They've thought about bailing before.

00:10:25.000 Yeah.

00:10:25.000 There's people that always talk about seceding, is the word they use.

00:10:30.000 It's the Republic of Texas.

00:10:31.000 We're gonna bail.

00:10:33.000 We're gonna bail.

00:10:34.000 We're gonna bail. 1.00

00:10:35.000 Tired of this liberal bullshit. 1.00

00:10:37.000 Okay. 1.00

00:10:37.000 So, obviously, United States... 1.00

00:10:38.000 Right.

00:10:39.000 Right.

00:10:40.000 Texas, state of Texas flag.

00:10:42.000 Right.

00:10:44.000 Spain.

00:10:45.000 Spanish flag flew in Texas?

00:10:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:10:48.000 Because it was Spanish territory initially?

00:10:50.000 Yeah.

00:10:51.000 Mexico?

00:10:53.000 I believe Mexico.

00:10:55.000 There it goes.

00:10:56.000 Wait, don't. 0.99

00:10:58.000 There's one crazy one. 0.79

00:11:00.000 This is the crazy one.

00:11:01.000 There's French, because it was obviously the French owned it for a while.

00:11:05.000 Really?

00:11:06.000 Yeah, it's part of the Louisiana Purchase, right?

00:11:08.000 Oh, that's right.

00:11:10.000 But here's the craziest one. 0.66

00:11:12.000 Confederate.

00:11:13.000 Yeah.

00:11:14.000 So when you say go to Six Flags, the sixth flag is the Confederate flag.

00:11:20.000 That's not cool.

00:11:24.000 I actually think it is kind of cool.

00:11:27.000 It is kind of cool, right?

00:11:27.000 Like, if you think about it, you're like at this amusement park, you're like, oh, that's the French part, that's the Confederate part, that's the...

00:11:34.000 It's weird that it was not that long ago that the Confederate flag was on a car that was on television every day.

00:11:43.000 Right, you're talking about...

00:11:45.000 The General Lee and the Dukes of Heaven.

00:11:46.000 Yeah.

00:11:48.000 Daisy Dukes, I remember that.

00:11:49.000 Yeah.

00:11:50.000 The flag was on TV. Wait, first of all, the Confederate flag is still part of the state of Georgia's state flag, if I'm not mistaken.

00:11:57.000 Is it?

00:11:58.000 Yeah.

00:11:58.000 Oh, that's ugly.

00:12:00.000 That's especially ugly.

00:12:01.000 I feel like in the last 15 years, it's taken a turn.

00:12:05.000 But before that, Leonard Skinner, if you ever went to one of their shows, did you?

00:12:09.000 No, but they used to...

00:12:11.000 Familiar with the band?

00:12:12.000 They're from Florida.

00:12:14.000 Leonard Skinner?

00:12:15.000 Yeah, they're from Florida.

00:12:16.000 I'm a huge Leonard Skinner fan.

00:12:19.000 Where in Florida?

00:12:20.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:12:21.000 Somewhere that sucks. 0.99

00:12:22.000 Jacksonville, I think. 0.99

00:12:23.000 Yeah.

00:12:24.000 Jacksonville?

00:12:24.000 Because I know Tom Petty's from Gainesville.

00:12:26.000 Yeah.

00:12:26.000 Did you know I grew up in Florida also?

00:12:28.000 I used to live in Gainesville.

00:12:29.000 I lived in Gainesville for three years.

00:12:33.000 You didn't go to school?

00:12:33.000 No, I was a little kid.

00:12:34.000 Oh.

00:12:34.000 From the time I was 11 until I was 13. Let's see what we got here.

00:12:38.000 There's the...

00:12:40.000 There's the flag to 2001. Yeah.

00:12:44.000 Up until 2001. Yeah, because I remember when Jimmy Carter accepted the nomination in 76, there was like a big, it looked like a Confederate flag because they had the Georgia delegation right down front.

00:12:56.000 That's crazy.

00:12:57.000 Up until 2001. They had a fucking Confederate flag. 1.00

00:13:01.000 Yeah, so what year was it? 1.00

00:13:01.000 2016? 1.00

00:13:02.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

00:13:02.000 The last 15...

00:13:03.000 Yeah, you nailed it.

00:13:04.000 That was their state flag.

00:13:05.000 That's insane.

00:13:09.000 God, that's insane.

00:13:10.000 More Dukes of Hazzard style.

00:13:12.000 Yeah, but Dukes of Hazzard at least is a TV show about a bunch of rednecks that are, you know, they're running from the law and selling moonshine, or they used to sell moonshine. 0.99

00:13:22.000 I didn't watch that show that often.

00:13:24.000 That was the show, yeah.

00:13:25.000 No, I know.

00:13:25.000 I've seen the picture.

00:13:27.000 I find, I guess maybe because I grew up in the South, like the Confederate flag, not crazy offensive, but now it's like the Nazi flag, right? 0.84

00:13:35.000 Yeah, but it's amazing how it was accepted.

00:13:38.000 Yeah, it was accepted.

00:13:40.000 The Leonard Skinner thing is a perfect example.

00:13:42.000 The fact that Leonard Skinner had that flag flying everywhere.

00:13:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:13:47.000 And now you could never do that.

00:13:49.000 You just can't do that.

00:13:51.000 Unless, specifically, that was what you were trying to be provocative.

00:13:54.000 Oh, man.

00:13:55.000 But here, there's Leonard Skinner's flag.

00:13:57.000 Look at that.

00:13:58.000 Yeah, that was their logo.

00:13:59.000 Mm-hmm.

00:14:00.000 It's within their flag.

00:14:02.000 Now, Leonard Skinner, with the surviving members...

00:14:06.000 Rousington?

00:14:07.000 It's not really Leonard Skinner, but, you know, what they're calling Leonard Skinner now.

00:14:11.000 Lenny Skinnered?

00:14:13.000 It's close.

00:14:14.000 Very close.

00:14:15.000 They don't try to rock that anymore.

00:14:18.000 No, no.

00:14:19.000 They gave...

00:14:19.000 I'd like to know...

00:14:20.000 I know Jamie's over here doing it.

00:14:22.000 I don't know what year they did give up on it.

00:14:24.000 They did?

00:14:25.000 But it's within the last 15 years that they were like, it's now a symbol of hate, as opposed to a cultural situation.

00:14:32.000 Yeah, it's about the culture of the South.

00:14:34.000 It's about the culture.

00:14:37.000 Yeah, it was.

00:14:38.000 Kind of. 0.99

00:14:39.000 That culture is kind of connected to something fucked up. 0.98

00:14:42.000 You've talked about slavery. 0.99

00:14:43.000 You've got to let it go.

00:14:45.000 Is that what you mean?

00:14:46.000 Yes.

00:14:46.000 That's what I thought.

00:14:47.000 You've got to let it go.

00:14:48.000 That's what I thought.

00:14:49.000 So we went through the circuitous route to this coyote thing.

00:14:53.000 By killing coyotes, you force the females to have more babies.

00:14:58.000 The females' litters increase. 0.85

00:15:00.000 They're a very strange animal.

00:15:02.000 Like, if they call...

00:15:03.000 Like, when you hear coyotes call in the middle of the night...

00:15:05.000 They're doing roll call.

00:15:06.000 Do it again.

00:15:07.000 Do it again.

00:15:10.000 It's a weird sound. 0.99

00:15:12.000 The first time I heard it, the first time I moved to California, I was like, what in the fuck is that? 0.98

00:15:16.000 But when I moved here, here's a perfect example, in 94, when I was living in New York, there's no fucking coyotes where I was living. 0.99

00:15:24.000 In Manhattan? 0.94

00:15:25.000 No, I was in New Rochelle, but there's coyotes there now.

00:15:28.000 There's coyotes in Westchester, there's coyotes in New York City.

00:15:31.000 They've actually gone into the city.

00:15:33.000 There's a bunch of people that spotted one.

00:15:36.000 Are they endangered?

00:15:36.000 No!

00:15:37.000 They are the opposite of endangered.

00:15:39.000 They are everywhere.

00:15:40.000 They are one of the most prevalent large animals in North America.

00:15:44.000 They are everywhere.

00:15:45.000 They're in every single state.

00:15:47.000 Okay.

00:15:47.000 Just a million questions.

00:15:49.000 What is the population increased since the Lewis and Clark?

00:15:53.000 100%.

00:15:53.000 Yes.

00:15:54.000 Not only that, their range.

00:15:56.000 Their range has increased.

00:15:58.000 What's interesting about them is when they're persecuted, they spread out.

00:16:01.000 They expand their range when they're persecuted.

00:16:04.000 It's like Jews. 1.00

00:16:05.000 Whoa.

00:16:06.000 I'm kidding.

00:16:07.000 I'm Jewish.

00:16:07.000 You're allowed to say that.

00:16:08.000 You can say that.

00:16:09.000 I can't.

00:16:10.000 You couldn't say that?

00:16:11.000 No, I'm getting in trouble.

00:16:12.000 Okay.

00:16:12.000 Especially if I was wearing a Confederate flag.

00:16:14.000 I'm sorry.

00:16:17.000 Anyway, Coyote Book's awesome.

00:16:20.000 How did we get to that?

00:16:21.000 We were talking about books, nonfiction.

00:16:23.000 Yeah, we were talking about- You were talking about some book.

00:16:26.000 No, we were just talking about, I was saying that I don't read fiction, and you just said that's the last thing I'm reading.

00:16:33.000 I read only non-fiction.

00:16:35.000 I can't get into it.

00:16:36.000 Really?

00:16:37.000 Yeah, I could get into a coyote book, you know, a non-fiction book, but like a Jack London story.

00:16:44.000 Has it always been that way?

00:16:48.000 Well, you know, you had to in school read those books.

00:16:52.000 You were forced to.

00:16:54.000 You never got into books?

00:16:55.000 Like, they were never, like, fascinating?

00:16:56.000 My brother was, but I was not.

00:16:58.000 He had Robert Heinlein and all the science fiction books.

00:17:02.000 I mean, I've read a few, and I just get...

00:17:06.000 I love movies.

00:17:08.000 Like, that's how I get my fiction.

00:17:11.000 Well, movies are better if they're done right.

00:17:14.000 What's really better is television shows.

00:17:17.000 The long-form TV show.

00:17:18.000 Yeah.

00:17:18.000 Like Game of Thrones.

00:17:20.000 Yeah.

00:17:20.000 Because they can go so much more in depth.

00:17:23.000 It is like a novel.

00:17:24.000 It is like a novel.

00:17:24.000 It's like a novel, but you're seeing it, and you're seeing amazing acting and music.

00:17:31.000 Exposed breasts. 0.98

00:17:32.000 Dead high. 1.00

00:17:33.000 Okay.

00:17:33.000 Right, that's what's happening.

00:17:35.000 Okay.

00:17:35.000 Yeah.

00:17:36.000 Because the one time, I don't watch Game of Thrones, but both times I've tuned in, I've seen Naked Breasts.

00:17:42.000 Is it every week?

00:17:43.000 They try.

00:17:45.000 Is that just to get ratings?

00:17:46.000 How does that work? 0.99

00:17:47.000 Well, no, because I think people back then just showed their tits a lot. 1.00

00:17:49.000 What? 0.99

00:17:50.000 Yeah.

00:17:50.000 It's not real.

00:17:51.000 It's not back then.

00:17:52.000 It's not even a real place.

00:17:53.000 Could it be in the future?

00:17:54.000 It could be.

00:17:55.000 Absolutely.

00:17:56.000 Like Star Wars.

00:17:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:17:57.000 A long time ago.

00:17:58.000 In a galaxy far, far away.

00:18:00.000 Like, you would think Star Wars is in the future, but it's actually in the past.

00:18:02.000 Right.

00:18:03.000 You would think Game of Thrones is in the past, but it might actually be in the future.

00:18:06.000 Speaking of Star Wars, I just stumped a Star Wars nut.

00:18:09.000 How'd you do that?

00:18:10.000 It was about that song...

00:18:12.000 You know, that's the Darth Vader's theme.

00:18:18.000 There's actually...

00:18:19.000 That's not the actual name of that song, but it's...

00:18:21.000 But that song was not in the original Star Wars.

00:18:25.000 What?

00:18:26.000 Yeah.

00:18:26.000 It wasn't?

00:18:27.000 No.

00:18:28.000 Oh, my God.

00:18:29.000 I talked to a guy who's like, you're wrong.

00:18:30.000 I was like, well, you're wrong.

00:18:33.000 And because I happen to be a nice guy, when I know I'm right, I'll never bet somebody.

00:18:38.000 Oh, what a nice guy.

00:18:40.000 Yeah.

00:18:40.000 You should have just laid out the cash.

00:18:41.000 I know, I know, I know, I know.

00:18:42.000 How much do you think you could have got out of him?

00:18:44.000 I don't know, maybe ten.

00:18:46.000 Ten thousand?

00:18:47.000 Maybe ten.

00:18:48.000 I'm a low.

00:18:48.000 Ten dollars?

00:18:49.000 I think I could have easily gotten.

00:18:51.000 He was convinced.

00:18:52.000 Is he a rich guy?

00:18:54.000 It was, you know, the guy at the bar who were just talking about Star Wars.

00:18:57.000 Like, I've seen him all at the thing.

00:18:58.000 He had a shirt.

00:18:59.000 He should have went in.

00:19:01.000 March of the...

00:19:02.000 What is it called?

00:19:03.000 March of the...

00:19:04.000 It's called the Imperial March.

00:19:05.000 The Imperial March.

00:19:06.000 Thank you.

00:19:08.000 That is an iconic theme.

00:19:13.000 Oh, John Williams.

00:19:14.000 He's unbelievable.

00:19:15.000 Is that from the second one?

00:19:17.000 Yes.

00:19:17.000 Empire Strikes Back?

00:19:18.000 Yes.

00:19:19.000 Wow.

00:19:19.000 Interesting.

00:19:20.000 I know.

00:19:21.000 You wouldn't think so, right?

00:19:23.000 A little bit of trivia.

00:19:23.000 I'm not surprised, now that you said it.

00:19:26.000 I'm not surprised.

00:19:27.000 They all kind of blend in.

00:19:28.000 But you were probably the perfect age to see Star Wars as a kid.

00:19:32.000 I saw Star Wars a bunch of times as a kid.

00:19:34.000 It was one of those things where I think I might have saw it 13 times or something crazy.

00:19:39.000 Because it was one of those things where kids in school would, how many times have you seen Star Wars?

00:19:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:19:43.000 Bob's seen it, 20. You're from Jersey?

00:19:46.000 No.

00:19:47.000 I was born in New Jersey, but I only lived there until I was six.

00:19:51.000 I spent my seventh birthday in a car on the way to San Francisco.

00:19:57.000 Lived in San Francisco from 7 to 11. Lived in Gainesville, Florida from 11 to 13. Boston from 13 to 23, 24. 24, I guess.

00:20:09.000 And then somewhere 23, I guess.

00:20:11.000 And then New York for a couple years.

00:20:13.000 And then here.

00:20:15.000 Then here?

00:20:16.000 Here.

00:20:17.000 Wow.

00:20:18.000 Yeah.

00:20:19.000 Are you Facebook friends?

00:20:21.000 Are you on Facebook?

00:20:23.000 I use Facebook only in that Instagram is connected to Facebook.

00:20:28.000 Oh, okay, okay.

00:20:28.000 I don't go there and I just...

00:20:30.000 Are you friends from any...

00:20:32.000 Do you have any friends from your San Francisco years?

00:20:35.000 No.

00:20:35.000 That you're still in touch with?

00:20:36.000 No.

00:20:37.000 Or Florida.

00:20:38.000 Only Boston.

00:20:38.000 Only Boston?

00:20:39.000 Boston and New York, yeah.

00:20:40.000 No one...

00:20:41.000 You've never gone to a show and someone's come up to you and go...

00:20:43.000 No.

00:20:44.000 No.

00:20:45.000 You know, when you're a little kid, it's hard to stay friends with people for that long, you know, if you don't stay in the neighborhood, stay in the area.

00:20:52.000 And I just didn't stay there that long.

00:20:55.000 I only lived there.

00:20:56.000 We moved around a lot, man, which is not good for you.

00:21:00.000 I moved around a lot as a kid.

00:21:01.000 I mean, maybe not as much as you, but similar to that.

00:21:05.000 Yeah, I don't think it's that healthy for kids.

00:21:09.000 I thought it was good.

00:21:10.000 I thought I learned a lot of great skills.

00:21:13.000 Well, you definitely do.

00:21:14.000 You learn people skills.

00:21:15.000 Yeah.

00:21:15.000 You learn how to communicate with people.

00:21:16.000 But you also don't...

00:21:18.000 I feel like that's a pretty important thing in life.

00:21:22.000 It is.

00:21:22.000 But I also think that some people, they gain something by being secure and having friends in a community.

00:21:29.000 Oh, confidence?

00:21:29.000 Yeah.

00:21:31.000 Yeah.

00:21:32.000 Are you...

00:21:33.000 You're not implying you're not a confident guy.

00:21:37.000 I think I got my confidence from martial arts, and I went to martial arts because I didn't have any confidence.

00:21:44.000 Oh my god, I'm going to start crying.

00:21:45.000 This is the most sensitive I've ever seen you in my life.

00:21:49.000 What is happening?

00:21:50.000 I don't even think that's sensitive.

00:21:52.000 Is that sensitive?

00:21:53.000 Yeah, you're less like, I was just, now all of a sudden I see this kid, you know, eyes darting around, no friends, all of a sudden like, what?

00:22:00.000 That was me.

00:22:01.000 Really?

00:22:01.000 Oh yeah, for sure.

00:22:02.000 Oh my god.

00:22:03.000 And then you were like, I need something.

00:22:05.000 And so you started taking steroids and doing martial arts.

00:22:08.000 People were picking on me.

00:22:09.000 They were?

00:22:09.000 No, I didn't take steroids.

00:22:11.000 I'm kidding.

00:22:12.000 What kid in high school?

00:22:13.000 I did take some when I was older.

00:22:15.000 You did?

00:22:16.000 Yeah.

00:22:16.000 I was just making a joke.

00:22:19.000 Most of the stuff I took was stuff that you could buy at GNC. But they used to sell stuff at GNC that's now totally illegal.

00:22:27.000 When McGuire was hitting this?

00:22:30.000 Nah, he was taking real steroids.

00:22:31.000 Oh, you know?

00:22:32.000 He was lying.

00:22:33.000 Yeah, 100%.

00:22:33.000 But there was something that's now illegal at GNC. Yeah, a bunch of those things.

00:22:39.000 Yeah.

00:22:40.000 Yeah, but there's stuff that you take now, like there's an issue that's going on constantly with UFC fighters, where they go to some sort of a vitamin store and buy some stuff, and it turns out that these supplements that they're buying have steroids in them.

00:22:56.000 Steroids?

00:22:57.000 Steroids.

00:22:58.000 Wow.

00:22:59.000 Yes.

00:23:00.000 Okay, when you took, you said you did take to G&T. Yes, I took, the strongest shit I ever took was the stuff that's totally illegal now. 0.99

00:23:08.000 It's called MAG-10. 0.99

00:23:10.000 Okay, now when you, just because I've never taken anything like that, can you feel it when you take it?

00:23:17.000 What's the reaction?

00:23:18.000 Your body recovers better.

00:23:19.000 Recovers better.

00:23:20.000 Yeah, that's what really happens.

00:23:21.000 Do you sleep better?

00:23:22.000 No, not on the stuff that I took.

00:23:24.000 How many hours do you sleep?

00:23:25.000 I try to sleep a solid eight.

00:23:27.000 I think it's super important.

00:23:29.000 It's one of the most important things as far as relaxation, recovery, you know, if you work out a lot.

00:23:35.000 Did you work out earlier today?

00:23:37.000 Yeah, I worked out today.

00:23:39.000 That's impressive.

00:23:40.000 Why is it impressive?

00:23:41.000 You don't work out?

00:23:42.000 I play basketball and tennis.

00:23:45.000 Those are workouts.

00:23:45.000 I know, I know, but I don't really do them in the morning that often.

00:23:49.000 When do you do them?

00:23:51.000 Like in the afternoon.

00:23:52.000 So you ease into your day?

00:23:53.000 Ease.

00:23:53.000 Is that what you do?

00:23:54.000 I'm like that kind of comedian.

00:23:56.000 Yeah, well, that's most of us.

00:23:58.000 Most of us ease into the day.

00:23:59.000 I would assume. 1.00

00:24:00.000 I get up and I attack that motherfucker. 1.00

00:24:03.000 I like to work out hard first thing in the morning. 1.00

00:24:05.000 Like this?

00:24:06.000 You do these?

00:24:07.000 Lifting weights?

00:24:08.000 Do these?

00:24:09.000 He's doing the pressing motion.

00:24:13.000 Yeah, I do some of those.

00:24:14.000 Do you do these, the curls?

00:24:15.000 Well, most of the weightlifting that I do is with kettlebells.

00:24:18.000 Oh yeah, I know that they are.

00:24:19.000 So those things behind you on the ground, those are kettlebells.

00:24:22.000 Well, when I said yes, I knew what they were, I didn't really have to turn around and look.

00:24:27.000 I knew exactly.

00:24:28.000 Well, they're right there.

00:24:28.000 Do you want me to try to lift them?

00:24:30.000 No.

00:24:30.000 Maybe later.

00:24:31.000 Maybe.

00:24:32.000 I don't want you to get hurt.

00:24:33.000 Okay, can I flash forward?

00:24:34.000 I have more workout questions.

00:24:37.000 How do we know this is over?

00:24:40.000 We can decide.

00:24:41.000 We can say it's over right now.

00:24:42.000 You say it.

00:24:42.000 We can pull the plug.

00:24:43.000 Right now?

00:24:44.000 Right now.

00:24:44.000 You want to do it?

00:24:45.000 No.

00:24:45.000 Okay.

00:24:45.000 No, I'm enjoying it.

00:24:47.000 I'm enjoying it.

00:24:47.000 I just want to know.

00:24:48.000 Because if I run out of steam, I'm going to do this.

00:24:51.000 We'll just go.

00:24:52.000 I'm going to tap out.

00:24:53.000 Well, definitely you don't want to think about that.

00:24:55.000 That's all I'm thinking about.

00:24:56.000 Yeah.

00:24:56.000 You can't think like that.

00:24:57.000 Oh.

00:24:58.000 Yeah.

00:24:58.000 Well, that's the same thing with working out.

00:25:00.000 If you work out and you go, man, when am I going to get tired?

00:25:02.000 You'll start getting tired.

00:25:04.000 You have to think about what you're doing.

00:25:05.000 You've got to be present.

00:25:06.000 Getting some life advice.

00:25:07.000 You've got to be in the moment.

00:25:08.000 It's very important.

00:25:09.000 Of course.

00:25:10.000 For almost everything in life.

00:25:11.000 Right?

00:25:12.000 Like sex. 0.83

00:25:13.000 Did you ever read the... 0.71

00:25:13.000 Right? 0.71

00:25:14.000 We'd be in the middle of sex going, when is this going to be over?

00:25:17.000 And then it's over.

00:25:19.000 All right, well, that's...

00:25:20.000 Can't think like that.

00:25:22.000 I understand.

00:25:23.000 I don't really have a problem with that.

00:25:26.000 Okay.

00:25:27.000 But now, it seems like...

00:25:29.000 You might think you have a problem now.

00:25:30.000 Now, all of a sudden, that's in my head.

00:25:31.000 Creeps into your head.

00:25:32.000 That's it.

00:25:33.000 Did you ever read the book, The Power of Now?

00:25:36.000 You know what I have?

00:25:37.000 That's Eckhart Tolle, right?

00:25:39.000 Yes, it is.

00:25:39.000 I have that book on audio tape.

00:25:41.000 I have not finished it.

00:25:43.000 I hope to God it's not him reading it.

00:25:46.000 I do not know who wrote it.

00:25:47.000 He's got the worst speaking voice.

00:25:51.000 It's horrible.

00:25:52.000 Really?

00:25:53.000 But his book is pretty good.

00:25:54.000 Yeah, I remember thinking, this is kind of cool, but this is a lot of stuff that I already kind of practice and kind of know.

00:25:59.000 Intuit.

00:26:00.000 It was quite a few years ago that I was listening to it.

00:26:03.000 The worst guy ever to read his books on audio tape?

00:26:05.000 Let me hear, let me hear.

00:26:06.000 Stephen King.

00:26:07.000 Oh, really?

00:26:08.000 Oh, God, he's awful.

00:26:10.000 I mean, he's one of my favorite authors.

00:26:12.000 I love him.

00:26:12.000 Huge fan of his writing.

00:26:14.000 Right.

00:26:14.000 But, oh my God, when he reads it, it's death.

00:26:17.000 Like, you literally want to fucking just... 0.98

00:26:18.000 I used to listen to him back when it was cassettes. 0.98

00:26:21.000 And one time, I fucking pulled the string, the tape out of the cassette... 0.98

00:26:28.000 Right. 0.98

00:26:28.000 Just so I could never listen to it again. 0.98

00:26:30.000 I'm like, this is fucking terrible. 0.99

00:26:32.000 And I threw it in the garbage can. 0.99

00:26:34.000 You couldn't just throw it in, you had a...

00:26:36.000 I was mad.

00:26:37.000 Obviously.

00:26:38.000 It was so boring.

00:26:39.000 His reading is so awful.

00:26:41.000 Do you remember the book?

00:26:43.000 Was it Cujo?

00:26:44.000 Was it Christine?

00:26:45.000 I do not remember.

00:26:46.000 I've listened to a bunch of his stuff on audio tape.

00:26:50.000 And actually, Duncan was talking about it yesterday.

00:26:52.000 I didn't realize it was Frank Mueller that was one of the best guys at reading it.

00:26:56.000 He did the Dark Tower series.

00:26:58.000 He read the Dark Tower series, a Stephen King book.

00:27:02.000 But yeah, Stephen King, one of my favorite offers, my least favorite ever reader of his work.

00:27:08.000 That's great.

00:27:08.000 Favorite author, least favorite reader.

00:27:11.000 Yeah, that's my...

00:27:11.000 Steve King.

00:27:12.000 I don't think he's my favorite author.

00:27:15.000 He might be, though.

00:27:16.000 He's fun.

00:27:18.000 You know who's really good, too?

00:27:19.000 His son.

00:27:21.000 Ernie King.

00:27:21.000 Joe Hill.

00:27:24.000 I don't know.

00:27:25.000 His son's name is Joe Hill.

00:27:27.000 Joe Hill?

00:27:28.000 Yeah.

00:27:28.000 Wait a minute.

00:27:29.000 Yeah, he changed his name so he didn't have to ride his dad's pony coattails.

00:27:33.000 Ponytails?

00:27:34.000 I was like ponytails.

00:27:35.000 Isn't Joe Hill a famous character?

00:27:39.000 I'm going to say...

00:27:40.000 That is his name, right?

00:27:41.000 I'm not blanking, am I? It's Joe Hill, heart-shaped box?

00:27:44.000 Yeah.

00:27:45.000 He's really good.

00:27:46.000 You don't remember, do you know the song Joe Hill and about the worker who died?

00:27:49.000 I think you're thinking of Jolene.

00:27:53.000 Tolly Parton.

00:27:54.000 Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene.

00:27:59.000 There he is.

00:28:00.000 Wow, he looks like Stephen King.

00:28:02.000 That's crazy.

00:28:03.000 That's him?

00:28:04.000 Yeah, that is him.

00:28:05.000 Joe Hill, writer.

00:28:06.000 Can you do me a favor and look up Joe Hill, union activist?

00:28:10.000 Because I think there's a...

00:28:11.000 Did you ever see the movie Woodstock?

00:28:16.000 Um...

00:28:16.000 Shot in 1969. It was about a music festival.

00:28:19.000 Here's the guy.

00:28:20.000 Upstate New York.

00:28:22.000 Well, I know about the music festival, but I don't think I saw it.

00:28:25.000 Joe Hill ain't dead.

00:28:27.000 Don't mourn, organize.

00:28:30.000 Yeah, it's about a...

00:28:31.000 He died in some kind of maybe union accident or something like that, or OSHA. Interesting.

00:28:38.000 And when Joan Baez sang in...

00:28:41.000 In Woodstock, that's one of the songs she sang, was Joe Hill.

00:28:44.000 Oh, wow.

00:28:44.000 I'm wondering if that's why I'm making this connection.

00:28:47.000 Well, he might have changed his name to that on purpose.

00:28:51.000 That's what I'm asking.

00:28:52.000 Could be.

00:28:53.000 Yeah, okay.

00:28:53.000 Could be.

00:28:54.000 So that is, I got the name right.

00:28:55.000 Because sometimes I think it's right, and it's like, oh no, that was Ernie Hill, and you messed up.

00:29:00.000 Yeah, you know how sometimes you'll say a word, and you're like, that's not the right word.

00:29:04.000 But it is the right word.

00:29:05.000 It is, yeah, of course.

00:29:06.000 Or especially the way it's spelled.

00:29:08.000 You look at the way something's spelled, you're like, that can't be right.

00:29:11.000 I wonder if there's a word for that.

00:29:13.000 A word for that?

00:29:14.000 No, I'm looking at the pictures behind you.

00:29:16.000 Are these all mugshots?

00:29:18.000 Well, sort of.

00:29:19.000 They're not?

00:29:20.000 That's Elvis Presley? 1.00

00:29:21.000 Two of them are bullshit. 1.00

00:29:22.000 Two of them are bullshit. 1.00

00:29:22.000 The Elvis one is bullshit because he was at the White House. 1.00

00:29:26.000 He wasn't actually getting arrested. 0.99

00:29:27.000 Oh, that's a security thing?

00:29:28.000 No, I think he took it as a joke.

00:29:30.000 It might be a security thing.

00:29:32.000 Do you like him?

00:29:34.000 Is that why it's behind you?

00:29:35.000 I am a fan of what Elvis kind of is.

00:29:39.000 You know, he's like this iconic, crazy Americana figure that became a drug addict and got all fat and sweaty and died on the toilet.

00:29:50.000 Yeah. 0.90

00:29:51.000 That's not the way I like to remember him.

00:29:53.000 There's lessons in Elvis.

00:29:55.000 I think he certainly was a talented singer, but I'm a fan of him more of a cultural icon than I am even as a musician.

00:30:02.000 And then Jimi Hendrix?

00:30:03.000 Yeah, that's not real.

00:30:04.000 See, that is the real writing, but the actual image is from one of the Jimi Hendrix Experience, which is where I stole the name for this podcast.

00:30:14.000 Love it.

00:30:15.000 The name of the band?

00:30:16.000 Yeah.

00:30:16.000 Mitch Mitchell?

00:30:18.000 What?

00:30:19.000 Mitch Mitchell?

00:30:19.000 There, that's the real one.

00:30:21.000 See up on the screen?

00:30:21.000 That is the actual real image.

00:30:24.000 That's the real image.

00:30:25.000 He got arrested for heroin in Toronto. 0.98

00:30:28.000 But this picture that I... And I bought this at a fucking nice gallery, too. 1.00

00:30:32.000 These cunts. 1.00

00:30:33.000 And then Rosa Parks? 0.99

00:30:35.000 Yes, but the Rosa Parks one is real.

00:30:37.000 That's 100% real.

00:30:38.000 Is that when she... 1.00

00:30:39.000 That's when she got arrested. 0.97

00:30:40.000 You know she was...

00:30:41.000 A lot of people get that story wrong, by the way.

00:30:44.000 A lot of people think, like, she sat in the front of the bus...

00:30:48.000 And then was asked to move to the back of the bus.

00:30:50.000 Well, somebody else had done it before her.

00:30:52.000 Of course, of course, of course, of course.

00:30:53.000 But even the front of the bus part isn't correct.

00:30:56.000 What part?

00:30:57.000 What is it?

00:30:57.000 It's a very minute thing, but I'm like a history dude.

00:31:02.000 There was a white section in the front, African-American in the back.

00:31:07.000 At the time, they called black or colored section.

00:31:10.000 She was in the colored section. 0.56

00:31:12.000 But what happened was if the white section filled up and a white person went back to the colored section, sit down, you still had to stand up and give them your seat.

00:31:22.000 Really?

00:31:23.000 Yeah.

00:31:23.000 And then she wouldn't do it.

00:31:24.000 And that was the start of it.

00:31:26.000 Wow.

00:31:27.000 I did not know that.

00:31:28.000 I know it's a small, you know, but everyone says, oh, she wouldn't go to the back of the bus. 0.52

00:31:33.000 Well, that's even grosser.

00:31:34.000 I agree.

00:31:35.000 I agree it is grosser.

00:31:37.000 Just like literally just sitting there and then just some guy. 0.91

00:31:40.000 Yeah, she's complying with your racist rules. 1.00

00:31:43.000 And then you're like, not racist enough.

00:31:45.000 Yeah.

00:31:48.000 Yeah.

00:31:49.000 So then that's when she got arrested.

00:31:51.000 Park's original seat.

00:31:53.000 Wow, you're totally right.

00:31:55.000 Am I correct?

00:31:55.000 Yeah, look at that.

00:31:57.000 What happened to the bus?

00:31:58.000 I've never seen this picture.

00:31:59.000 There's a diagram like the Kennedy assassination. 0.99

00:32:01.000 It looks like the fucking magic bullet. 0.99

00:32:04.000 Rosa Parks boarded the bus and sat in an aisle seat in the designated colored section. 1.00

00:32:09.000 Three stops later, the driver told Parks and three other blacks.

00:32:13.000 Okay.

00:32:14.000 In her row to move to the back to make room for a white man. 1.00

00:32:18.000 The three blacks moved to the back. 0.89

00:32:20.000 Parks slid to an adjacent window seat and refused to move.

00:32:24.000 Wait, so...

00:32:26.000 It was even...

00:32:27.000 Okay, just so I'm clear on this, now that I'm learning something, I almost feel like now, like, they didn't even want him to have to sit next to her.

00:32:36.000 That's exactly what it was.

00:32:37.000 Like, that was an empty seat.

00:32:38.000 Yep, that's exactly what it is.

00:32:39.000 Is that right?

00:32:39.000 Am I reading that right?

00:32:40.000 You're absolutely reading it right.

00:32:41.000 That's interesting, right?

00:32:42.000 That is.

00:32:43.000 It's awful.

00:32:44.000 That's awful.

00:32:45.000 That's another thing.

00:32:46.000 That's not that long ago.

00:32:47.000 All these things that are not that long ago.

00:32:50.000 The colored flag being on...

00:32:51.000 I mean, the Confederate colored flag...

00:32:55.000 The Confederate flag being on the state flag of Georgia.

00:32:59.000 This?

00:33:00.000 What year was this?

00:33:01.000 I want to say this is 60...

00:33:04.000 What year was it?

00:33:05.000 I want to say like 61. Does that make sense?

00:33:08.000 56?

00:33:09.000 I think it's the late 50s, right?

00:33:10.000 I don't know.

00:33:11.000 I'm totally wrong.

00:33:13.000 Montgomery, Alabama.

00:33:15.000 System is legally integrated.

00:33:19.000 Wow.

00:33:20.000 So good.

00:33:21.000 I learned a little something.

00:33:22.000 That's fascinating.

00:33:24.000 Is that a staged photo then?

00:33:26.000 Her right there? 1.00

00:33:27.000 Yeah, like how if there was a full bus and there's a white guy behind her, what's this photo from?

00:33:33.000 I don't know.

00:33:33.000 Oh, I see.

00:33:34.000 It's a Wikipedia photo.

00:33:36.000 They might have done that after the fact, right?

00:33:38.000 What's in the upper right-hand corner?

00:33:39.000 What is that?

00:33:39.000 Is that the actual...

00:33:40.000 Is that like...

00:33:41.000 No, upper right-hand corner?

00:33:42.000 Upper right-hand corner?

00:33:43.000 Yeah.

00:33:44.000 I've never seen you yell at somebody like that.

00:33:46.000 Yelled?

00:33:46.000 Does he yell?

00:33:47.000 This is the bus where it's at.

00:33:49.000 So, like, you can actually go there and sit in it?

00:33:51.000 Yeah, there's a picture of Obama there.

00:33:53.000 Oh, wow.

00:33:54.000 So they took the actual bus and put it in the museum.

00:33:57.000 Whoa.

00:33:58.000 That's it up above it.

00:33:59.000 Someone should make a tour bus out of that. 0.80

00:34:01.000 I think Outkast or something.

00:34:05.000 You're talking about the band, Outkast?

00:34:07.000 Yeah.

00:34:09.000 I think it might be better in a museum.

00:34:12.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:34:13.000 But it's not a thing to have in a museum.

00:34:15.000 I guess it is, right?

00:34:17.000 It's like, when do you decide what...

00:34:19.000 Have you ever gone to one of those Old West museums?

00:34:21.000 I went to an Old West museum in Montana.

00:34:23.000 It's pretty interesting.

00:34:24.000 Where?

00:34:24.000 What city?

00:34:25.000 Bozeman.

00:34:26.000 Yeah, I know.

00:34:27.000 Bozeman, Butte, Billings.

00:34:29.000 Yeah.

00:34:29.000 I know the whole tour up there.

00:34:31.000 Pretty awesome museum, but one of the interesting things about it was they had these old stagecoaches. 0.98

00:34:37.000 And you just have to imagine taking one of those fucking goofy things across the country. 0.94

00:34:42.000 Like, what? 0.99

00:34:43.000 Not that long ago.

00:34:44.000 Not that long ago.

00:34:45.000 I know.

00:34:45.000 That's the thing.

00:34:46.000 Not that long ago.

00:34:46.000 Dragged by horses.

00:34:48.000 That's the theme of this podcast.

00:34:50.000 Yeah.

00:34:50.000 Not that long ago.

00:34:51.000 Well, it's really not that long ago.

00:34:53.000 When you get older and you realize, oh, I'm almost 50. That's half a hundred years.

00:34:59.000 The Wild West shit, that was 200 years ago. 1.00

00:35:02.000 200 years ago. 1.00

00:35:03.000 Less than 200. Yeah.

00:35:04.000 Wild West is less than 200 years ago.

00:35:06.000 Sure.

00:35:06.000 It's post-Civil War, so it's like...

00:35:10.000 Yeah.

00:35:10.000 150 years.

00:35:11.000 Yeah.

00:35:12.000 Well, I mean, when people first started coming, like, what year was it?

00:35:15.000 I think the Wild West is, like, the 1870s.

00:35:19.000 Well, 1865 is when slavery was abolished.

00:35:22.000 Is that the end of the Wild West?

00:35:25.000 No, that's the start of it.

00:35:26.000 No.

00:35:27.000 1865?

00:35:28.000 Yeah, when...

00:35:29.000 Before that, they were still traveling across the country, like Tombstone and Billy the Kid and all that jazz.

00:35:35.000 I still feel like that's after all of that, but I might be wrong.

00:35:38.000 I might be wrong because the 49ers, that's 1849, they're searching for gold in California.

00:35:44.000 So people are obviously trekking across the country looking for gold in 1849. We know that.

00:35:50.000 The minor 49ers, yeah.

00:35:51.000 Yeah, right.

00:35:52.000 That we know.

00:35:53.000 So maybe, maybe 1850s and...

00:35:56.000 When was the Donner party?

00:35:57.000 Maybe 1850s.

00:35:58.000 When was the Donner party?

00:35:59.000 Oh, is that the family?

00:36:00.000 People that ate each other.

00:36:01.000 Oh.

00:36:02.000 They got stuck in the mountain.

00:36:03.000 Yeah.

00:36:04.000 And that pass.

00:36:05.000 Woo! 0.99

00:36:06.000 That was intense.

00:36:07.000 That's intense. 1.00

00:36:09.000 Trying to get over the fucking Rocky Mountain in the winter? 0.99

00:36:11.000 Not good. 0.99

00:36:13.000 Yeah.

00:36:14.000 Yeah.

00:36:15.000 It would be like trying to do it with a hybrid. 0.89

00:36:18.000 Yeah.

00:36:20.000 Right?

00:36:20.000 Because those things don't have a lot.

00:36:22.000 Yeah, a Tesla.

00:36:25.000 Yeah, the Donner Party was, what does that say, 1846?

00:36:29.000 Yeah.

00:36:29.000 Okay, so we got it right.

00:36:30.000 I was wrong about the Wild West.

00:36:32.000 I guess it's 1840s.

00:36:35.000 Still, again.

00:36:37.000 Lewis and Clark was around 1804, so around 1820s is...

00:36:40.000 1820s?

00:36:41.000 The Wild West time period.

00:36:42.000 I'm wrong.

00:36:43.000 So it's essentially almost exactly 200 years ago.

00:36:46.000 Yeah, you're right. 0.90

00:36:46.000 That is so fucking recent, though. 0.90

00:36:48.000 That's so goddamn recent. 0.98

00:36:50.000 To think that 200 years ago there was no Chicago, like, as we know it, giant buildings and airplanes, no San Francisco as we know it, no New York City as we know it. 0.93

00:36:59.000 Well, New York City was kind of like...

00:37:01.000 Pretty cosmopolitan, but they definitely had buildings and stuff.

00:37:05.000 Because there's some buildings from the 1800s in a lot of spots.

00:37:09.000 But this entire country, go back 200 years, and it's not much here.

00:37:17.000 That's strange.

00:37:19.000 Really?

00:37:20.000 Yeah.

00:37:21.000 I more think it's beautiful and fascinating.

00:37:25.000 That too.

00:37:25.000 Yeah, I just think it's incredible.

00:37:27.000 They're not mutually exclusive, Wayne Fetterman.

00:37:29.000 Oh, correct.

00:37:30.000 Correct.

00:37:31.000 It's not the opposite.

00:37:32.000 Could be both things.

00:37:33.000 Right.

00:37:33.000 It's all the above.

00:37:37.000 Yeah, there's a...

00:37:38.000 No, this country's a big...

00:37:42.000 Fourth of July is my favorite holiday, by the way.

00:37:44.000 Are you a big patriot?

00:37:46.000 Or do you just like fireworks?

00:37:47.000 I love fireworks.

00:37:49.000 One of my favorite fireworks is just the one that flashes and makes the sound.

00:37:53.000 Yeah, you know that one?

00:37:54.000 Yeah, I know that one.

00:37:57.000 I don't know what they're called.

00:37:58.000 Do you go to Disneyland and stay to the very end?

00:37:59.000 No, I would.

00:38:00.000 I would.

00:38:01.000 I would.

00:38:02.000 Yeah, I just love the whole thing.

00:38:04.000 I love the idea of this country.

00:38:06.000 Me too.

00:38:06.000 Like what we went through.

00:38:08.000 I don't know if patriot is the word, but I would say I'm very appreciative of being lucky enough to live here.

00:38:15.000 Yeah, me too. 0.99

00:38:15.000 We're lucky as fuck. 0.99

00:38:16.000 I especially think that when I travel. 0.99

00:38:19.000 Whenever I go to other countries, yeah.

00:38:20.000 I go, hmm.

00:38:22.000 You know, I was talking to this gentleman in Italy.

00:38:24.000 I was in Italy a couple weeks ago.

00:38:25.000 Right.

00:38:26.000 And I was talking to this guy about he wants to move to Northern California.

00:38:30.000 He wanted to move to San Jose.

00:38:33.000 And he has this idea, this is his dream, to take his kids and move to San Jose.

00:38:37.000 And, you know, it was kind of interesting talking to him about it.

00:38:42.000 And then it got kind of sad because he was talking about his children.

00:38:46.000 He's like, where he lives, there's no hope.

00:38:50.000 He's like, there's no future.

00:38:51.000 There's nothing to plan for.

00:38:53.000 There's no opportunities.

00:38:55.000 And he's like, I really feel like my children would have an opportunity to succeed if they could go to America. 0.52

00:39:00.000 I was like, wow, I mean, that is what led my grandparents to come here.

00:39:04.000 Yeah.

00:39:05.000 Where did they come from?

00:39:06.000 Italy.

00:39:07.000 Wow, so that's your...

00:39:08.000 Most of them.

00:39:09.000 My grandfather and my father's side came from Ireland.

00:39:12.000 Everybody else, my grandmother and my father's side, my grandmother and grandfather on my mother's side came from Italy, all of them.

00:39:17.000 Yeah, not easy for the Italians and the Irish when they got here.

00:39:20.000 No.

00:39:21.000 Right?

00:39:21.000 No, not easy at all.

00:39:21.000 Do you know any of those stories?

00:39:23.000 Sure.

00:39:23.000 Were they passed down to you?

00:39:25.000 Oh, yeah.

00:39:26.000 Absolutely, yeah.

00:39:28.000 And they were all circus performers, right?

00:39:32.000 No?

00:39:33.000 No, they were wild pasta hunters.

00:39:40.000 My grandfather grew up on a farm.

00:39:43.000 Famous Rogans.

00:39:44.000 Yeah.

00:39:45.000 Same thing.

00:39:46.000 Same thing.

00:39:47.000 No, I feel very, very, very fortunate.

00:39:49.000 And love it.

00:39:50.000 Love it.

00:39:52.000 Yeah.

00:39:52.000 Well, when you go to other countries, then you really kind of get a sense of, first of all, how recent this experiment in self-government really is.

00:39:59.000 Because, you know, when we were in Italy, I took some photos of the Vatican, and I posted them up on my Instagram the other day, and one of them that was probably, maybe the most impressive, but the most, put things into perspective, there's a floor of the Vatican where they have this statue of Hercules,

00:40:16.000 and this tile mosaic floor is 1700 years old, and people walk on it.

00:40:21.000 Thousands of people walk on this mosaic tile, and it's 1700 years old.

00:40:26.000 And it's just a tile floor.

00:40:29.000 I mean, it's just one thing in this insane—that's the floor right there.

00:40:34.000 Look at that.

00:40:35.000 That's 1,700 years old.

00:40:36.000 And that's one tiny aspect of the Vatican.

00:40:40.000 The Vatican is so monstrously huge and incredible.

00:40:45.000 It is one of the most breathtaking things I've ever seen in my life.

00:40:48.000 And the accomplishment of people from hundreds and hundreds of years ago that put together this building— You call them artisans?

00:40:56.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:40:57.000 Humans.

00:40:59.000 Yeah, what the human beings can do is incredible.

00:41:02.000 Insane.

00:41:03.000 It's not quite as breathtaking as that, but just this morning someone posted Steve Jobs' announcement of the iMac when that came out in the late 90s.

00:41:16.000 And then all the comments from the kids who were just like, oh, it would blow their minds if they knew the computer I'm looking at this demonstration on.

00:41:28.000 Yeah.

00:41:28.000 Like, just that's how fast, you know, everything changed.

00:41:32.000 It changed.

00:41:32.000 Yeah.

00:41:32.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:41:33.000 There it is.

00:41:33.000 Yeah.

00:41:34.000 Look at Jobs, his big fat face.

00:41:35.000 And what's interesting- I don't remember him looking like that.

00:41:37.000 This is before, this is pre-T-shirt and jeans.

00:41:41.000 Yeah.

00:41:42.000 Or turtleneck and jeans.

00:41:43.000 Yeah, this is Jobs with a button-up shirt all the way up to the neck and a blazer.

00:41:47.000 An office man.

00:41:50.000 Yeah, hair.

00:41:51.000 He's got hair.

00:41:51.000 But look how chubby his face is.

00:41:54.000 That poor guy worked himself to death.

00:41:57.000 You feel like that happened?

00:41:58.000 I feel like he crushed his immune system with his intense pursuit of excellence.

00:42:05.000 I really think that.

00:42:07.000 I think that was a big part of it.

00:42:10.000 Did you read William Isaacson's...

00:42:12.000 No.

00:42:13.000 Isaac...

00:42:13.000 No, I've read many accounts of people that worked with him, but I've never read any biographies on him.

00:42:18.000 But, you know, I'm fascinated by people...

00:42:21.000 Do you feel like that's a cautionary tale?

00:42:22.000 Yes.

00:42:23.000 You do?

00:42:23.000 Yeah, I do.

00:42:24.000 I mean, I think there's balance to be achieved in life, and I don't necessarily think he achieved balance.

00:42:31.000 I think he burned it.

00:42:32.000 I think he went crazy and Did the best to make incredible stuff and an amazing company that's probably one of the most innovative and influential companies in the history of technology.

00:42:43.000 No question.

00:42:44.000 If not the, right?

00:42:45.000 Probably the.

00:42:46.000 And a big part of it was his vision.

00:42:48.000 Right.

00:42:49.000 Well, to me, the most amazing of all the things he did were what is those stores.

00:42:57.000 Like, in my mind...

00:43:04.000 We're good to go.

00:43:16.000 To go, you know, I think it needs a store.

00:43:19.000 Yeah.

00:43:20.000 A store!

00:43:21.000 Like, where you pay rent and you have insurance and all of these other overhead costs that Amazon doesn't deal with.

00:43:28.000 Well, here's this even better.

00:43:29.000 Windows trying to copy them.

00:43:30.000 Oh, have you been to those?

00:43:32.000 And they don't sell computers.

00:43:34.000 Oh, the Windows stores.

00:43:36.000 The Microsoft stores, you mean.

00:43:37.000 I think they call them Windows stores, don't they?

00:43:40.000 Well, anyway, you go to them.

00:43:42.000 They don't sell computers.

00:43:43.000 What do they sell there?

00:43:44.000 Just the software?

00:43:44.000 They have computers out there.

00:43:46.000 And you go, oh, can I buy this?

00:43:47.000 Nope. 1.00

00:43:49.000 Like, what the fuck are you selling? 1.00

00:43:51.000 That's next level, man. 1.00

00:43:52.000 I know.

00:43:52.000 That is next level marketing.

00:43:54.000 You can't just go and, like, you can go in, like, this laptop.

00:43:57.000 You can go to an Apple store and you can say, hey, I want a Retina 15-inch, blah, blah, blah.

00:44:03.000 And they'll go, okay, let me see if we have it in stock.

00:44:05.000 Yes, we do.

00:44:05.000 Come over here.

00:44:06.000 Credit card.

00:44:07.000 Would you like your receipt emailed to you?

00:44:09.000 Yes, I would.

00:44:10.000 Do I have to stand in line?

00:44:11.000 No, we just did it right here.

00:44:13.000 And you get out of there and you walk and you got a computer.

00:44:16.000 There's no other store like that.

00:44:17.000 Other than like you go to Best Buy and you can buy an Apple or Windows computer.

00:44:22.000 Microsoft stores will have giveaways, special events, and no computers.

00:44:30.000 They don't have anything.

00:44:32.000 They're like showcases for what they sell.

00:44:34.000 Which is the...

00:44:36.000 Windows?

00:44:37.000 I mean, maybe they sell Windows?

00:44:39.000 Let's find out, Jamie. 0.99

00:44:41.000 What the fuck do they sell? 0.99

00:44:42.000 I just went in one the other day. 1.00

00:44:43.000 You did?

00:44:44.000 Well, let me guess the one you went into.

00:44:46.000 Century City.

00:44:47.000 It was in Ohio, actually.

00:44:49.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:44:50.000 Way off. 1.00

00:44:50.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

00:44:51.000 Terrible guess. 0.99

00:44:52.000 A lot of the stuff they were selling, because they sell Xboxes as a product Microsoft.

00:44:56.000 Oh, okay.

00:44:57.000 So they sell games?

00:44:58.000 A lot of games and things.

00:45:00.000 What about Word?

00:45:02.000 Microsoft Word?

00:45:03.000 Isn't that a program of theirs?

00:45:05.000 Yes.

00:45:06.000 What's the spreadsheet?

00:45:07.000 What's that called?

00:45:08.000 PowerPoint?

00:45:10.000 They did have a little office.

00:45:11.000 The office suite?

00:45:11.000 They had a section that was smaller than that.

00:45:13.000 Okay, but they sell a lot of those.

00:45:15.000 They sell a lot of those.

00:45:15.000 So they sell some software.

00:45:17.000 Yeah, but it's just a little card to download it.

00:45:18.000 Yeah, everything gets downloaded now.

00:45:21.000 Yeah.

00:45:22.000 Yeah, interesting.

00:45:23.000 No, I mean, obviously, they just panicked and were like, okay, I guess we have to have some presence in these malls where these Apple stores are.

00:45:32.000 Well, Windows computers are pretty fucking good now. 0.70

00:45:36.000 And they have touchscreen. 0.70

00:45:37.000 A lot of them have touchscreen.

00:45:39.000 Like, I was at one of those Best Buys or whatever the fuck it was the other day, and I was checking out the Windows computers.

00:45:44.000 I was like, it's kind of interesting.

00:45:46.000 Like, you could touch the screen.

00:45:47.000 Would you jump?

00:45:49.000 Are you brand loyal? 1.00

00:45:51.000 No, I don't give a fuck. 0.99

00:45:52.000 But Windows have many more problems with viruses. 0.99

00:45:56.000 They're way more vulnerable.

00:45:58.000 And there's also compatibility issues because...

00:46:01.000 Excuse me.

00:46:03.000 One of the things that Apple's done brilliantly is integrate all the parts.

00:46:07.000 So the fact that you have the exact same video card as everybody else, you have the exact same motherboard, everything works together, everything works seamlessly.

00:46:15.000 The problem with Windows is what Asus is going to do is going to be different than what Dell is going to do, which is going to be different than what.

00:46:24.000 And then you have to have all the drivers in order, and then...

00:46:28.000 I see.

00:46:29.000 Different companies put their own proprietary stuff on there.

00:46:31.000 And then there's also...

00:46:33.000 There's more ways, and obviously I'm not a computer expert, but there's more ways to exploit the Windows operating system, apparently, than there is to exploit Apple.

00:46:41.000 As far as, like...

00:46:44.000 Innovating?

00:46:44.000 No, no, no.

00:46:45.000 As far as viruses.

00:46:46.000 Oh, okay.

00:46:46.000 Yeah, I mean, how many viruses have been...

00:46:48.000 I mean, the number of computer viruses alone...

00:46:51.000 Oh, that's a thing I was watching the other day.

00:46:53.000 I was watching this documentary on Stuxnet and how they concocted this computer virus to attack the Iranian nuclear facility.

00:47:03.000 Oh, I know all about this.

00:47:04.000 Woo, do you?

00:47:04.000 Oh, yeah.

00:47:05.000 Really?

00:47:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:47:06.000 I mean, obviously I didn't recognize that name, but that documentary is out now?

00:47:11.000 Yes.

00:47:12.000 Where did you see it?

00:47:13.000 In the hotel room.

00:47:14.000 Hotel room in Atlanta.

00:47:16.000 Yeah, because there's a book about it now, and it's just like, that's kind of scary.

00:47:21.000 Because now you can ruin machines with computer viruses, correct?

00:47:25.000 Yes, you can.

00:47:26.000 Or launch a missile.

00:47:28.000 Or shut down the power grid, or do a lot of different things.

00:47:32.000 It's crazy what they did.

00:47:35.000 It was the United States and Israel, if I'm not mistaken. 0.85

00:47:38.000 Yep, apparently.

00:47:40.000 But no one's talking about it.

00:47:41.000 Yeah.

00:47:42.000 How do they get people to talk?

00:47:43.000 How do they do it?

00:47:44.000 Well, the people in the documentary, they were not real people.

00:47:48.000 They were like a sort of a CGI version of a person they used to talk, and their voice was all scrambled.

00:47:55.000 But they were talking about the developmental process, and all the people, which is interesting, they were saying that all the people that work at the NSA... Yep.

00:48:03.000 There's two types of people.

00:48:05.000 There's like military type people, and then there's like super nerds.

00:48:09.000 There's like people with like, one guy had, they were saying had a Death Star that he built out of Legos that sat on his desk, and like they had various dolls.

00:48:19.000 Yeah.

00:48:20.000 Very remarked.

00:48:22.000 They had various superhero dolls laying around and stuff.

00:48:26.000 Of course.

00:48:27.000 They were like Comic-Con type folks.

00:48:29.000 And it was interesting that they were sort of describing the environment of working there.

00:48:35.000 That is these sort of computer folks and super nerds, super computer geeked out wizards.

00:48:43.000 Right.

00:48:43.000 Who are working together with these military characters, and the military characters are sort of guiding them to try to create these viruses to attack these various facilities that Iran had.

00:48:55.000 Okay, so let's say, again, no one goes on the record about this thing.

00:49:00.000 Let's say this actually happened.

00:49:02.000 Let's assume it did.

00:49:05.000 That was built at the NSA? I thought that was just about eavesdropping.

00:49:11.000 Stuxnet?

00:49:11.000 Yeah.

00:49:12.000 The computer virus was built.

00:49:14.000 There?

00:49:14.000 Someone concocted it.

00:49:16.000 I don't think they ever admitted or know for sure where.

00:49:19.000 I don't know.

00:49:19.000 Find out, Jamie.

00:49:20.000 Pull it up.

00:49:21.000 See what...

00:49:22.000 Yeah, because I understood that it was Israel and the United States, and that's how they shut down. 0.99

00:49:28.000 They grinded that centrifuge.

00:49:31.000 They undermined the centrifuge in Iran.

00:49:34.000 And I think even that is...

00:49:36.000 A little bit speculation?

00:49:39.000 I don't think that's been 100% documented.

00:49:42.000 That we actually did it?

00:49:43.000 Yeah.

00:49:43.000 Or that Israel was involved?

00:49:45.000 Or both.

00:49:46.000 I don't know if it's 100% documented.

00:49:49.000 Yeah, no one goes on the record.

00:49:51.000 That's why I was asking, who was talking in this documentary?

00:49:55.000 Yeah, I didn't watch the whole documentary either.

00:49:56.000 I watched about 40 minutes.

00:49:58.000 I'm like, I get the point here.

00:49:59.000 And then you went back to Game of Thrones with the exposed breath.

00:50:04.000 I don't know what I did.

00:50:04.000 I think I was leaving.

00:50:05.000 I think I was just watching it before I had to leave.

00:50:07.000 I'm a documentary nut.

00:50:10.000 Love them.

00:50:11.000 What have you seen recently that's awesome?

00:50:12.000 Tickled.

00:50:13.000 Oh, you into that, huh?

00:50:15.000 Jamie tried to get me to watch that.

00:50:16.000 I saw Tickled.

00:50:17.000 There's a lot of people that were thinking that was fake.

00:50:20.000 Yeah, it looks fake.

00:50:21.000 At the beginning, I was like, I didn't...

00:50:22.000 Yeah, no, it's for real.

00:50:23.000 I saw Tickled.

00:50:24.000 I saw the Brian De Palma documentary.

00:50:26.000 I saw Wiener.

00:50:28.000 Did you see that?

00:50:29.000 What's that?

00:50:30.000 It's about Anthony Wiener, the congressman.

00:50:33.000 What is that?

00:50:34.000 Incredible.

00:50:35.000 Really?

00:50:35.000 Joe.

00:50:36.000 Highly recommend it.

00:50:37.000 I'm not highly recommending Tickled.

00:50:39.000 I'm highly recommending this.

00:50:41.000 What's so good about Wiener?

00:50:43.000 Okay, you know what happened.

00:50:44.000 He had a sex scandal.

00:50:45.000 Right.

00:50:46.000 You know, Twitter. 0.99

00:50:47.000 Sex sting. 1.00

00:50:47.000 Sex sting, correct. 1.00

00:50:48.000 Yeah. 0.85

00:50:49.000 It's all behind me.

00:50:50.000 I'm back with my wife, Huma.

00:50:52.000 I'm running.

00:50:54.000 I've resigned from Congress.

00:50:55.000 I'm running for mayor of New York.

00:50:57.000 I'm a New Yorker, the thing.

00:51:00.000 His ex...

00:51:02.000 Let me get this right.

00:51:03.000 One of his top campaign aides wants to be a documentary filmmaker.

00:51:07.000 He's like, do you mind if I cover your campaign?

00:51:09.000 He's like, sure, you know me.

00:51:11.000 I've worked with you before.

00:51:12.000 You were a loyal assistant during all my horrible scandal in Congress and all of that.

00:51:18.000 I trust you.

00:51:19.000 So he brings this guy in.

00:51:22.000 Joe, you know what's happening.

00:51:24.000 And he's winning.

00:51:27.000 He's actually ahead in one poll.

00:51:30.000 The mayor, to win the mayorship.

00:51:32.000 I don't know if mayorship is the right word.

00:51:35.000 And the second sexting scandal breaks.

00:51:39.000 While full access to him.

00:51:42.000 Wow.

00:51:43.000 As it's happening.

00:51:44.000 Inside.

00:51:45.000 Jesus.

00:51:46.000 And at one point, I'm not going to spoil anything.

00:51:48.000 Obviously you know what happened. 0.97

00:51:49.000 Spoil the shit out of it. 0.96

00:51:50.000 At one point, you hear the camera guy, his buddy, just go... 0.97

00:51:55.000 Why are you letting me film this?

00:52:03.000 It is so great.

00:52:04.000 Oh my god.

00:52:05.000 You can just hear him off camera just, why are you letting me film this?

00:52:08.000 Well, I assume he got a piece of it, right?

00:52:11.000 What does it say?

00:52:11.000 Hilarious, like a spinal tap of politics.

00:52:14.000 It's the full package.

00:52:15.000 Mind-blowing.

00:52:16.000 One of the best documentaries ever made about a political scandal.

00:52:19.000 Fast, funny, insightful, and outrageous.

00:52:21.000 Politics at its insane best.

00:52:23.000 And he's a smart guy.

00:52:25.000 Weiner is a super smart guy.

00:52:27.000 He's a great advocate.

00:52:28.000 He's a great liberal advocate. 0.97

00:52:29.000 Well, the problem is, like a lot of great people, he has a bizarre sexual drive.

00:52:35.000 And you're not allowed to express that if you're in politics.

00:52:38.000 I mean, if he was an actor, or if he was a musician, or a comic, if he was one of us, he would have no problem. 0.97

00:52:45.000 He'd be like, sorry, I fucked up. 0.99

00:52:46.000 I'm a freak. 1.00

00:52:47.000 And they're like, that Anthony Weiner just keeps pulling his dick out. 1.00

00:52:50.000 Ah! 1.00

00:52:51.000 You'd be psyched for his next Netflix special, where he would talk about it. 0.99

00:52:55.000 But, unfortunately for him, he's in this bullshit world where you have to pretend you're something not real. 0.99

00:53:00.000 Where you have to be sanctimonious about marriage. 0.99

00:53:02.000 Yeah.

00:53:03.000 Well, it's not just that.

00:53:04.000 Sanctimonious?

00:53:05.000 Sacred, right?

00:53:06.000 Sacred, yeah.

00:53:09.000 It's not just that.

00:53:10.000 It's also...

00:53:11.000 Sacrament.

00:53:12.000 Yes.

00:53:12.000 That's it, right?

00:53:13.000 I think so.

00:53:14.000 Sanctimonious is like you're talking down to people who are not doing what you're doing, right?

00:53:19.000 Right.

00:53:20.000 I think there's also the issue that we want someone who is a leader who we have very unrealistic expectations of them as human beings.

00:53:29.000 We want them to be completely different than everyone we've ever met in our lives.

00:53:33.000 And lead us.

00:53:34.000 And lead us.

00:53:35.000 Right.

00:53:36.000 And also have the desire to be that one person, that alpha. 0.98

00:53:40.000 And those guys, like fucking Kennedy and many, many, many other ones that I'm sure we don't know who was cheating on who or who was doing... 0.99

00:53:48.000 Those guys are always freaks. 0.99

00:53:50.000 Bill Clinton, they are always freaks.

00:53:52.000 Oh my God.

00:53:53.000 You know Stephen Crowder?

00:53:54.000 Stephen Crowder made this video about Hillary.

00:53:58.000 And part of the video, it was like all reasons why you shouldn't vote for Hillary Clinton.

00:54:03.000 It's the different things that she's done to cover up the different sexual scandals that her husband was involved in.

00:54:09.000 When you see the list of sexual scandals that he was involved in, it's like, oh my god.

00:54:14.000 And this is only the women that complained. 0.86

00:54:16.000 Of course.

00:54:17.000 I mean, there had to be a gang of gals that were ride or die. 1.00

00:54:21.000 They kept their mouths shut. 0.51

00:54:22.000 They knew how to hang. 0.68

00:54:25.000 Oh, I see.

00:54:25.000 I see where you went with that.

00:54:27.000 There's gotta be!

00:54:28.000 Of course!

00:54:29.000 There's gotta be!

00:54:30.000 For every one of those gals that, you know, wanted to out him for all the dirtiness, that's the kind of guy that wants to be president. 0.88

00:54:39.000 That's the kind of guy. 1.00

00:54:40.000 They're always dick-slingers. 1.00

00:54:41.000 Right? 1.00

00:54:42.000 Yeah.

00:54:43.000 And Anthony does kind of address that a little bit.

00:54:46.000 Does he?

00:54:46.000 A little bit.

00:54:47.000 He talks, you know, once it broke, Joe, there's a scene in there where he's in the car and his assistant's like, what do we say?

00:54:57.000 Did this happen just once?

00:54:59.000 And he's trying to figure out his press secretary.

00:55:03.000 And you can hear in his head replaying interviews he's given before where he lied.

00:55:11.000 And like, oh, I shouldn't have said that to the New Yorker guy.

00:55:14.000 Right, right.

00:55:16.000 Yeah, it's just all crumped.

00:55:18.000 What does that guy do now?

00:55:21.000 He's the husband of Hillary.

00:55:25.000 Yeah, Hillary's one of her top advisors. 0.98

00:55:28.000 He's going to be very close to the White House if trends continue.

00:55:31.000 I'm not a predictor. 0.99

00:55:33.000 Do you think Hillary probably comforted Huma because she's used to this shit? 0.99

00:55:38.000 She's like, listen, let me tell you about dudes. 1.00

00:55:41.000 She probably went down on her. 1.00

00:55:44.000 That I don't know.

00:55:48.000 That's what I heard.

00:55:48.000 Oh, really?

00:55:49.000 Okay.

00:55:49.000 I heard that on 4chan.

00:55:57.000 Yeah, so that's a documentary I would recommend.

00:55:59.000 All right.

00:56:00.000 Of the ones I've seen recently.

00:56:02.000 But I love them all.

00:56:04.000 And not I don't love them all, but I really like the genre.

00:56:08.000 Yeah, I'm a big fan of documentaries too.

00:56:10.000 Give me a couple of your favorites.

00:56:12.000 Merchants of Doubt. 0.96

00:56:13.000 Have you seen that?

00:56:14.000 Oh, yes.

00:56:15.000 That is about the cigarette companies.

00:56:18.000 Well, the same guys are now into global warming.

00:56:23.000 We'll explain to folks at home what we're talking about.

00:56:26.000 The cigarette companies hired these folks to go on all these different talk shows, like those talking head split-screen shows on CNN, where someone would say, Cigarettes have been shown to cause cancer.

00:56:39.000 This is a lie!

00:56:40.000 This is a patented lie!

00:56:41.000 Cigarettes are not addictive, they don't cause cancer, they just don't!

00:56:45.000 It's a white guy voice.

00:56:46.000 And these guys would go on all these different shows and they would throw doubt into whatever the narrative was that the FDA or whoever was trying to say that cigarettes were bad for you.

00:57:00.000 The same exact guys, not the same tactics, but the same human beings.

00:57:05.000 Same dudes?

00:57:06.000 From the 50s?

00:57:07.000 Same exact guys.

00:57:09.000 It wasn't from the 50s.

00:57:10.000 It was from the 70s.

00:57:11.000 The 70s?

00:57:11.000 The same exact guys went on...

00:57:14.000 Well, that was actually when the lawsuits were going on.

00:57:16.000 It might have been the 80s.

00:57:19.000 Anyway, same exact guys were then shilling for global warming a couple decades later.

00:57:26.000 Anti-global warming.

00:57:27.000 Anti-global warming.

00:57:28.000 They were doing the exact same thing.

00:57:29.000 I have not seen this documentary yet.

00:57:30.000 It's great.

00:57:31.000 It's great.

00:57:31.000 Yeah, it's stunning.

00:57:32.000 So Wiener level?

00:57:33.000 I don't know.

00:57:34.000 I haven't seen Wiener.

00:57:35.000 I'd have to see Wiener.

00:57:36.000 Okay.

00:57:37.000 Wiener would make me cringe.

00:57:39.000 Yeah, it is...

00:57:42.000 I mean, it's so human is the word I would use.

00:57:45.000 Yeah.

00:57:45.000 Human.

00:57:47.000 You can't be human in that world.

00:57:50.000 That's a world that doesn't allow human behavior.

00:57:52.000 He was Jon Stewart's roommate.

00:57:55.000 Was he?

00:57:55.000 Yeah.

00:57:56.000 Like in college or something, or right after college.

00:57:58.000 Well, he's a great speaker.

00:58:01.000 Anthony?

00:58:02.000 Yeah.

00:58:02.000 He did some speeches before the first scandal.

00:58:05.000 He had some speeches on the floor of the Senate.

00:58:09.000 And I remember listening to him going, wow, this guy is going to be a force in politics.

00:58:14.000 He's passionate.

00:58:15.000 He's intelligent.

00:58:16.000 And he knows how to frame.

00:58:18.000 He's good at framing.

00:58:19.000 Yeah, he's righteous.

00:58:21.000 Yeah, that's what I was saying.

00:58:22.000 An unbelievable advocate.

00:58:24.000 There's also another scene in the movie where...

00:58:26.000 God, I can't think of the guy on that.

00:58:28.000 Do you follow MSNBC at all?

00:58:30.000 No.

00:58:30.000 All right.

00:58:31.000 One of their talking heads has him on, and it's almost like a meltdown interview.

00:58:37.000 But you see the interview on television, but also the video crew is there just seeing him alone.

00:58:45.000 You know what I mean when someone's doing a remote interview?

00:58:48.000 Just alone.

00:58:49.000 And he kind of has this look like, I'm crushing this.

00:58:51.000 So he's not really aware of how bad it's going.

00:58:55.000 Wow.

00:58:57.000 If you're into that at all.

00:58:58.000 I'll see it. 0.98

00:58:59.000 You know what's interesting to me is that the same time while he was experiencing his meltdown, Charlie Sheen was rising like a phoenix from the ashes, talking about doing blow and banging hookers and saying, you don't pay him for sex, you pay him to leave, and everybody's like, go Charlie! 0.99

00:59:13.000 Tiger blood! 0.99

00:59:14.000 It's your point.

00:59:15.000 It's your point you're making exactly.

00:59:17.000 About the latitude of that kind of stuff.

00:59:20.000 What's interesting to me is that we've sort of crossed the divide with Donald Trump. 0.99

00:59:26.000 And Donald Trump is allowed to kind of do whatever the fuck he wants. 0.99

00:59:29.000 You know? 1.00

00:59:30.000 And especially when he's competing against Hillary Clinton, who's been shown time and time again to be a fucking complete liar. 1.00

00:59:38.000 She's just an absolute liar on a grand scale. 1.00

00:59:43.000 Like, not just little lies, but lies about all sorts of things like the origins of her name, who she was named after. 0.99

00:59:49.000 Like, she's a crazy person, and she's a politician, and like, in a sober way, a very bizarre character. 0.95

00:59:57.000 So, when a guy like Donald Trump is competing against her, like, and, you know, starts naming her Crooked Hillary, like, someone tried to get some traction by calling Donald Trump a womanizer and saying that, you know, he's a... 0.98

01:00:11.000 And people don't care? 1.00

01:00:12.000 Who cares the fuck? 1.00

01:00:13.000 Of course he is. 1.00

01:00:14.000 Look at him. 1.00

01:00:14.000 He's a billionaire with a super hot wife who did lesbian porn, by the way. 1.00

01:00:18.000 Did you see that? 1.00

01:00:19.000 I don't watch a lot of porn, but tell me about it.

01:00:22.000 New York Daily News took some photos that they put on the cover yesterday, and it was Melania?

01:00:32.000 How do you say it?

01:00:33.000 Melania?

01:00:34.000 Look at that.

01:00:38.000 Okay.

01:00:39.000 Yeah.

01:00:40.000 Cha-pow-za-wow-za! 1.00

01:00:42.000 Like, come on, that is not just the hottest first lady, potential first lady ever, but off the charts. 1.00

01:00:48.000 It's like the difference between, like, who's the toughest fourth grader and Mike Tyson.

01:00:53.000 Right.

01:00:56.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:00:57.000 I mean, it's fucking crazy! 1.00

01:01:00.000 I mean, this guy is going to be the fucking president. 1.00

01:01:04.000 It's super possible. 1.00

01:01:06.000 It's not just 50-50 in my hand.

01:01:08.000 Because I think that as time goes on, she looks worse and worse.

01:01:12.000 And the only thing that saves her is his outrageousness.

01:01:16.000 And I think he hired that guy.

01:01:18.000 Who was that political strategist that he hired?

01:01:20.000 Manafort?

01:01:21.000 I do not remember his name.

01:01:23.000 Paul Manafort?

01:01:24.000 Is that his name?

01:01:25.000 He's the chief of his campaign.

01:01:28.000 The most recent guy that he hired about three months ago, four months ago.

01:01:31.000 But the idea was that this guy is going to shape the new, like, the idea is like, he got the nomination, now that he's got the nomination, nomination's secure, now you go after Hillary, and you bring in all the people that are on the fence.

01:01:44.000 How do you do that?

01:01:45.000 You become more moderate, you become more, less outrageous with your statements, and you try to point out the benefits of you versus the problems with her.

01:01:56.000 Of course.

01:01:57.000 If he does that successfully...

01:01:59.000 You think he has a chance?

01:02:00.000 Yes.

01:02:01.000 100% he has a chance. 1.00

01:02:02.000 He's the fucking Republican nominee. 1.00

01:02:03.000 No, we can't look. 1.00

01:02:03.000 He has a chance. 1.00

01:02:04.000 There's a lot of people that are just not going to vote for Hillary because they do not want more Democrats in office. 0.98

01:02:09.000 They're like, E-fucking-nuff. 0.97

01:02:10.000 Like this eight years of Clinton, and then the eight years of Bush, and then you got eight years of Obama. 0.97

01:02:16.000 It just stands to reason that you're going to want to have eight years of some Republican now.

01:02:21.000 I don't know.

01:02:22.000 I don't know.

01:02:23.000 I mean, I looked at the polls.

01:02:25.000 I try not to follow it because I just feel like it's so overwhelming at this point.

01:02:30.000 But I don't know.

01:02:31.000 I feel like she's in pretty good shape.

01:02:33.000 You think so?

01:02:34.000 Again, I'm a comedian.

01:02:38.000 What's today?

01:02:39.000 The 2nd of August?

01:02:41.000 Yeah, so I'm saying this on a second.

01:02:42.000 We vote in November.

01:02:43.000 We've got a long way to go.

01:02:44.000 We've got 99 days.

01:02:46.000 Gary Johnson is the...

01:02:47.000 He's going to be on your show!

01:02:48.000 Yeah, well, he was supposed to be on Thursday.

01:02:49.000 I was on a tweet with him.

01:02:51.000 Yeah?

01:02:51.000 Were on a tweet with him?

01:02:53.000 What do you mean?

01:02:53.000 Well, you tweeted something with my name and his name.

01:02:55.000 Oh, right, right, right.

01:02:56.000 That's the first time I've ever...

01:02:57.000 Most likely he's going to have to pull out on Thursday, but he'll be back again.

01:03:00.000 We've already had him on once before.

01:03:01.000 How was he?

01:03:02.000 He was great.

01:03:02.000 Great.

01:03:03.000 He's great.

01:03:03.000 He's a good guy.

01:03:05.000 I don't know if I agree with him about everything, but I agree with him about most things.

01:03:10.000 You know, he's got some interesting ideas, but he's a reasonable person.

01:03:15.000 Like an actual reasonable person.

01:03:16.000 You can tell.

01:03:16.000 You can read a guy.

01:03:17.000 And the more he talks and the more he speaks, someone is going to get hurt by him being around.

01:03:26.000 The question is, is it going to be Trump or is it going to be Clinton?

01:03:29.000 Someone's going to get hurt by this reasonable alternative.

01:03:32.000 And this attitude that everybody has about, well, you're throwing your vote away if you vote for him.

01:03:38.000 Not if everybody does. 1.00

01:03:39.000 This is a stupid attitude. 1.00

01:03:42.000 And the only thing that could possibly potentially fuck a third party candidate is the Electoral College. 1.00

01:03:47.000 Like, that's where things get really weird. 0.96

01:03:50.000 The Electoral College, the idea of representatives, you know, like you don't necessarily vote for, you know, the state picks a representative, the representative is the one who kind of puts in the vote.

01:04:04.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:04:04.000 So it's, that could fuck them. 1.00

01:04:07.000 And also the idea that you're going to throw your vote away if you vote for a third-party candidate. 1.00

01:04:13.000 That kind of fucks them. 0.99

01:04:14.000 But there's going to come a time where we realize how ridiculous the two-party system is. 0.99

01:04:19.000 The two-party system. 0.92

01:04:20.000 I'm with you on that.

01:04:21.000 Everybody is.

01:04:22.000 Who thinks it's great?

01:04:23.000 Find me the person who thinks it's great.

01:04:25.000 I think the DNC and the RNC think it's great.

01:04:28.000 That they get to participate in the debates and get money and all of that.

01:04:32.000 Well, they get to rig it.

01:04:33.000 Yeah.

01:04:33.000 The poor Bernie.

01:04:35.000 Never had a chance.

01:04:36.000 Poor Bernie didn't have a chance.

01:04:37.000 Never had a chance.

01:04:38.000 They rigged it.

01:04:39.000 And then she immediately goes to Hillary's campaign. 1.00

01:04:41.000 Like a nice juicy reward.

01:04:43.000 Come on over.

01:04:44.000 We'll get you some speaking fees.

01:04:45.000 Oh, you're talking about Watserman. 0.99

01:04:46.000 Yeah, what the fuck's her name? 0.99

01:04:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:04:47.000 Michelle Watserman? 1.00

01:04:48.000 Yeah.

01:04:51.000 Whatever.

01:04:51.000 I don't like talking politics, man.

01:04:52.000 I don't.

01:04:53.000 I feel like it's like talking about a magic trick.

01:04:55.000 Well, what I really like is when he made her levitate.

01:04:58.000 He didn't really make her levitate, man.

01:04:59.000 You know that, right?

01:05:00.000 No, I saw it.

01:05:02.000 Alright, let me ask you about this then.

01:05:04.000 Please do.

01:05:05.000 Let's talk about Michael Page.

01:05:07.000 Oh, okay.

01:05:07.000 Michael Venom Page?

01:05:08.000 Oh, that's his middle name?

01:05:10.000 Yes.

01:05:10.000 Or his stage?

01:05:11.000 You're talking about the fighter?

01:05:12.000 Yeah.

01:05:13.000 Okay.

01:05:13.000 Because, again, you know so much more about this than I did, but I saw the highlights of the fight, and then YouTubed his other fights.

01:05:21.000 Yeah.

01:05:22.000 And I've never seen anyone fight like this.

01:05:26.000 Have you watched his other fights?

01:05:27.000 Yes.

01:05:27.000 Because there's one in particular.

01:05:29.000 I've seen all of his fights.

01:05:30.000 Okay, there's one in particular.

01:05:32.000 We're good to go.

01:05:50.000 Is that a style?

01:05:51.000 Would you fight hands down?

01:05:53.000 Well, you can.

01:05:54.000 The thing about it is, he has a very unusual set of skills.

01:05:59.000 What he is is a sport karate champion.

01:06:03.000 And what sport karate is...

01:06:05.000 Point fighting is a style of fighting where you...

01:06:09.000 Could you do this?

01:06:10.000 I fought some point karate tournaments.

01:06:12.000 Just tell me just quickly.

01:06:15.000 I don't know what points...

01:06:16.000 Okay.

01:06:16.000 Point karate is...

01:06:18.000 The way it works is like there's a judge on one side, there's a judge on the other side.

01:06:22.000 And there's two...

01:06:22.000 Well, oftentimes there's several judges.

01:06:25.000 And there's two fighters.

01:06:27.000 And they stay on the outside, and the idea is they blitz at each other.

01:06:31.000 They dive in, and the idea is to try to hit a guy once, and if you tag him, if you do tag him, they stop the action.

01:06:37.000 The referee steps in, and then the referees will point.

01:06:41.000 Like, oftentimes, there's an exchange of blows, and the referees will say, I got him with the straight punch.

01:06:46.000 I got him with the round kick.

01:06:48.000 And if there's no consensus, they continue to fight, and no one gets a point.

01:06:53.000 But if there is a consensus, if one guy won the exchange, there's a great point karate fight between Michael Venom Page and this guy who's fighting in glory right now, Raymond Daniels,

01:07:09.000 who's a...

01:07:10.000 Also, he was originally a point karate champion who went over to kickboxing.

01:07:16.000 Glory is a big kickboxing organization, whereas Michael Page fights for Bellator.

01:07:21.000 So he's fighting MMA, whereas this other guy who is a champion is now fighting...

01:07:25.000 Is Bellator like a European? 0.86

01:07:27.000 This is them fighting right now, right?

01:07:29.000 Is that Page and Daniels?

01:07:32.000 Yep.

01:07:32.000 Yeah, alright.

01:07:33.000 I see it.

01:07:33.000 See how they fight?

01:07:34.000 They wear these helmets on, and the idea is to just score.

01:07:37.000 Score points, I get it.

01:07:39.000 To dive in and hit each other and then get out.

01:07:42.000 And if they can hit each other and score cleanly, like watch what happens when they score, you'll see it.

01:07:48.000 So they're bouncing around.

01:07:49.000 They move very fast.

01:07:51.000 And the idea behind this is the blitz.

01:07:53.000 The leaping in and attacking.

01:07:55.000 See how they both have their hands down?

01:07:57.000 Well, I don't feel like the other guy has his hands up a little more than Michael Page.

01:08:00.000 Is Michael Page in white?

01:08:01.000 No.

01:08:01.000 Yes, he is.

01:08:02.000 But they both have their hands down.

01:08:03.000 They both have their hands down.

01:08:15.000 Yeah, okay.

01:08:20.000 I see.

01:08:21.000 But this style, see how it goes in?

01:08:23.000 I also see like 80 people in the crowd.

01:08:26.000 Who goes to this?

01:08:27.000 Mostly karate students.

01:08:29.000 It's mostly people that are either their students, their fellow students are competing and they're sitting there watching or they're going to compete and they watch or the families of the people competing.

01:08:38.000 But it never really became much of a spectator sport.

01:08:41.000 I could understand that.

01:08:42.000 But it's a very unique talent.

01:08:44.000 The ability to leap in and perform those techniques very quickly.

01:08:48.000 And most fighters don't have that timing and they don't know how to avoid it.

01:08:52.000 And they don't have the ability to avoid that crazy bum rush. 0.93

01:08:56.000 So how good is he?

01:08:57.000 He's very good.

01:08:57.000 Very good.

01:08:58.000 Well, he was a world champion at sport karate.

01:09:02.000 Okay, okay.

01:09:02.000 About that stuff.

01:09:03.000 He's a world champion.

01:09:04.000 And so what he had to do is he just had to learn takedown defense, and then he had to learn some submissions and some grappling.

01:09:10.000 Takes a long time to learn those things, but if you are the type of person that can become a champion in one aspect of martial arts, that type of intense dedication and focus, you could transfer that potentially to other martial arts if you have the time and you have the inclination.

01:09:24.000 Well, I read something that you said that was the worst injury you ever saw.

01:09:28.000 Yeah.

01:09:28.000 Is that hyperbole?

01:09:30.000 No.

01:09:30.000 No, it's the worst MMA. I've never seen anybody get their skull crushed.

01:09:34.000 That's the worst injury I've ever seen.

01:09:35.000 I've seen broken orbital bones.

01:09:38.000 That's fairly common.

01:09:40.000 The bones around your eyeball are fairly fragile.

01:09:44.000 But the forehead, I've never seen anybody's forehead get crushed.

01:09:47.000 But it was a perfect storm of one guy charging in.

01:09:50.000 He charged in, tried to shoot for a takedown, and Paige caught him with a knee. 1.00

01:09:55.000 He leaped in and caught him.

01:09:57.000 What's the name of that move?

01:09:58.000 Jumping Knee.

01:09:59.000 Say it again?

01:10:00.000 Jumping Knee.

01:10:01.000 He just jumped up and hit him with a knee.

01:10:04.000 Jumping Knee.

01:10:05.000 That sounds like an Indian name.

01:10:08.000 Wounded knee.

01:10:12.000 Jumping knee.

01:10:14.000 Wow.

01:10:15.000 It was intense to see, Joe.

01:10:17.000 Yeah, it was intense.

01:10:18.000 I mean, I'm not kidding.

01:10:19.000 I was like, whoa.

01:10:21.000 Well, I've been involved in martial arts for more than 30 years.

01:10:25.000 Since you were a scared little child.

01:10:26.000 Yeah, more than 30 years.

01:10:28.000 And I've never seen that injury.

01:10:29.000 I've never seen it that bad.

01:10:31.000 Well, I saw also your buddy, I don't know if he's your buddy, Silva, what's his first name?

01:10:36.000 Anderson Silva?

01:10:37.000 Anderson Silva.

01:10:37.000 Mm-hmm.

01:10:38.000 Break his own leg. 0.97

01:10:39.000 I've seen that before.

01:10:41.000 I've seen that a couple times.

01:10:42.000 Have you ever done that?

01:10:42.000 No, I've never broken my leg.

01:10:43.000 Break your own leg.

01:10:44.000 No, but I did get my leg broken before.

01:10:47.000 I broke the, with the tibia as a large shin bone, I broke the fibula.

01:10:52.000 We collided.

01:10:54.000 It was actually a sparring session.

01:10:56.000 A friend of mine threw a kick and I threw a kick at the same time and his heel hit my fibula and I got a hairline fracture in my fibula.

01:11:03.000 But not broken like...

01:11:05.000 It didn't break like that, but it could have.

01:11:07.000 Had you seen that before?

01:11:09.000 Yes.

01:11:10.000 See, what happened with Anderson is he broke it earlier, and then he broke it all the way through.

01:11:14.000 See, he cracked it with one kick that he threw earlier.

01:11:17.000 In the same fight?

01:11:18.000 Yep.

01:11:18.000 Oh, okay.

01:11:19.000 He believed he cracked it before that, because it was hurting, and then he threw that kick and hit the exact same spot, and it just snapped like a twig.

01:11:29.000 That's according to his manager.

01:11:30.000 His manager feels like he broke it before that and then broke it again.

01:11:34.000 It's very unusual to see someone's leg snap like that.

01:11:37.000 I've never...

01:11:38.000 I didn't even think it was possible.

01:11:39.000 There it is right there.

01:11:40.000 I've seen it happen three times.

01:11:42.000 The person giving, kicking...

01:11:45.000 It's always the person kicking.

01:11:46.000 The person kicking breaks their own leg.

01:11:48.000 Occasionally, it's the person on the other side, but the difference is where you're kicking, you're kicking with the middle or the bottom of your shin, which is a thinner bone, and you're colliding with the top of the knee where the tibia meets the knee.

01:12:06.000 Just didn't seem possible.

01:12:08.000 Just didn't seem possible.

01:12:08.000 Yeah, look at there.

01:12:09.000 You can see it as it's snapping.

01:12:11.000 Yeah, do you remember Joe Theismann?

01:12:13.000 Mm-hmm, yeah.

01:12:13.000 Do you remember that Monday Night game?

01:12:14.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:12:16.000 Yeah, broken legs are particularly disturbing for people.

01:12:19.000 There's a guy named Tyrone Spong.

01:12:21.000 But you're saying not for you.

01:12:22.000 Yeah, I mean, it bothers me.

01:12:25.000 You're looking at me like, you people, that probably bothers you, Wayne.

01:12:28.000 I have seen, for sure, I have seen way too many people get injured.

01:12:32.000 Right, so you're a little more immune to it.

01:12:34.000 I am a little immune.

01:12:35.000 I've told this story before, but my wife was...

01:12:39.000 Broke her leg.

01:12:40.000 She had the car hatch. 0.71

01:12:43.000 You know, like the back of the hatch and she had a package and she lifted her head up and hit the corner of the hatch and cut her forehead and blood was pouring down her head.

01:12:51.000 She was freaking out because she was bleeding. 0.51

01:12:53.000 And I looked at it.

01:12:55.000 I was like, it's nothing.

01:12:56.000 It's like make a stitch, like one stitch.

01:12:58.000 It's nothing.

01:12:58.000 Don't worry about it.

01:12:59.000 Like to me, I was like, walk it off.

01:13:00.000 Like, this is nothing.

01:13:01.000 Like, I'm so used to seeing people just cut open, smashed, broken nose, swollen eyes, cuts all over their face, head kicked, knockouts, arms broken, snapped legs, torn apart knees.

01:13:15.000 I'm so used to it.

01:13:16.000 And that's just in the comedy clubs.

01:13:18.000 Ha! 0.89

01:13:19.000 Wings veteran, ladies and gentlemen!

01:13:21.000 Try the wings! 0.90

01:13:22.000 So you've seen it all.

01:13:23.000 I've just seen thousands of fights.

01:13:26.000 I mean, I've called professionally at least probably 1,500 fights.

01:13:31.000 So I've seen so many knockouts and so many injuries.

01:13:35.000 I'm so used to seeing trauma.

01:13:37.000 Almost too used to it.

01:13:38.000 Like, it doesn't bother me.

01:13:40.000 Oh, when people get injured, I don't freak out.

01:13:42.000 And that was the worst.

01:13:43.000 100%.

01:13:44.000 100% the worst.

01:13:45.000 Definitely the worst.

01:13:46.000 Never seen that. 1.00

01:13:48.000 That's your fucking brain. 1.00

01:13:49.000 That's the protection that your brain has to the outside world. 1.00

01:13:52.000 It's basically gone.

01:13:53.000 And if he got hit again in that same spot, he's probably dead.

01:13:56.000 Dead.

01:13:57.000 Yeah.

01:13:58.000 How's he doing?

01:13:59.000 Look where his head looked.

01:14:00.000 You can see how he's doing.

01:14:02.000 That's the surgery.

01:14:03.000 The pictures on the right are post-surgery.

01:14:05.000 Is that what they put in there?

01:14:07.000 Those little metal?

01:14:09.000 Yeah, look at there.

01:14:10.000 You can see it.

01:14:11.000 Those are plates that they've, most likely titanium, that they've screwed in place to sort of reconstruct his skull.

01:14:21.000 The front of his skull.

01:14:22.000 Yeah, they've pulled it up and screwed it in place.

01:14:24.000 Will he ever wrestle again?

01:14:26.000 Fight, you mean?

01:14:26.000 Fight.

01:14:27.000 Yeah, I mean, you certainly could wrestle again.

01:14:29.000 The question remains, is if any commission...

01:14:32.000 Psychological?

01:14:34.000 Psychological?

01:14:34.000 It's not what I would be worried about.

01:14:36.000 I'd be worried about the actual physiological damages more than psychology.

01:14:39.000 His brain expanding or something? 1.00

01:14:41.000 He had to get his fucking skin pulled back. 0.99

01:14:44.000 I mean, if you look at what they did, they literally made a scar around the top of his head. 0.99

01:14:49.000 His hairline is essentially a giant scar now. 0.99

01:14:53.000 They pulled his face forward, and they rebuilt his forehead with these fucking bolts. 0.99

01:15:00.000 They rebuilt his nose, too. 0.99

01:15:01.000 Apparently his nose was shattered, too.

01:15:03.000 But, you know, it's like a very, very significant injury.

01:15:08.000 I just think psychologically you could never, but maybe.

01:15:11.000 Get used to it.

01:15:13.000 Get used to getting hurt.

01:15:14.000 Guys get used to getting knocked out.

01:15:16.000 Guys get used to getting punched.

01:15:17.000 You get used to it.

01:15:18.000 It's, you know, it's a part of who you are if that's what you choose to do for a living.

01:15:24.000 Have you been knocked out, like out?

01:15:26.000 No.

01:15:26.000 Like unconscious?

01:15:27.000 No, I've never been knocked out.

01:15:28.000 Close?

01:15:28.000 Yeah, I've been dropped.

01:15:30.000 What does that mean?

01:15:31.000 I got TKO'd.

01:15:32.000 I got hit and my legs went out.

01:15:34.000 Like you get hit in the jaw and your legs stop working and you just collapse.

01:15:38.000 And then I got back up and I got dropped again and the referee stopped the fight.

01:15:41.000 But I was conscious.

01:15:42.000 That was the last fight I ever had.

01:15:43.000 It was a kickboxing fight.

01:15:44.000 That was it?

01:15:45.000 Yeah.

01:15:45.000 Well, I was already on my way out.

01:15:46.000 Did you have a nickname?

01:15:48.000 No, I never had a nickname.

01:15:49.000 If you could...

01:15:51.000 So what was this guy's nickname?

01:15:52.000 Both these guys had one with Venom or something?

01:15:54.000 His nickname was Cyborg.

01:15:55.000 Cyborg and Venom?

01:15:56.000 And Venom, yeah.

01:15:57.000 Okay, let's say you could go back, pick a nickname.

01:16:01.000 Sweetie Pie.

01:16:01.000 No, you go the other way.

01:16:03.000 Hey, did you see those two guys who kissed each other?

01:16:05.000 Who were they?

01:16:06.000 Who were they?

01:16:06.000 What are you talking about?

01:16:07.000 It was some like face-off. 0.99

01:16:08.000 You watching porn? 0.97

01:16:09.000 No, no, no, no. 0.99

01:16:10.000 An MMA thing.

01:16:11.000 Oh, a long time ago.

01:16:12.000 Yeah, what was that?

01:16:12.000 Heath Herring and this Japanese gentleman kissed him.

01:16:14.000 I knew you would know.

01:16:15.000 I knew you would know.

01:16:15.000 And then Heath Herring knocked him out.

01:16:16.000 Oh, he kissed him?

01:16:17.000 I thought they kissed each other.

01:16:19.000 No.

01:16:19.000 I mean, maybe it's a different one.

01:16:21.000 Maybe we're talking about a different one.

01:16:22.000 You're talking about Anderson Silva and Chris Weidman, where Anderson Silva, like, touched faces with Weidman, and Weidman just wouldn't move?

01:16:28.000 It's possible.

01:16:29.000 This hit right here?

01:16:30.000 Is that the one?

01:16:31.000 No.

01:16:33.000 No, I know you guys listening on the podcast can't see, but literally it's like two guys' faces right up against you.

01:16:38.000 Yeah, it's Anderson Silva and Chris Wyvern.

01:16:40.000 No, no, this is two guys who are like nose to nose, and then one guy kind of kissed him, and then the other guy kissed him back.

01:16:47.000 Oh, I haven't seen that.

01:16:49.000 I haven't seen that.

01:16:50.000 You've never saw that?

01:16:51.000 Well, I probably have, I just forgot.

01:16:53.000 But the really funny one was Anderson, not Anderson Silva, Heath Herring was doing a face-off with this Japanese gentleman.

01:16:59.000 I don't remember the guy's name, but the guy kissed him on the lips, and Heath Herring knocked him out cold as they were doing the stare down.

01:17:06.000 He hit him with a right hook. 0.97

01:17:07.000 Watch it, right here. 1.00

01:17:09.000 This is Heath Herring, Texas crazy horse, bad motherfucker. 0.99

01:17:13.000 So they get face-to-face to check this out, watch. 1.00

01:17:15.000 Okay, they're standing face-to-face.

01:17:17.000 He kisses him.

01:17:18.000 Boom! 0.99

01:17:19.000 KOs him.

01:17:20.000 Out cold.

01:17:21.000 And you lose the fight automatically if you hit before the...

01:17:24.000 You're not supposed to kiss people, so... 0.82

01:17:26.000 Wait!

01:17:27.000 So we...

01:17:27.000 I don't know if he lost.

01:17:29.000 I think...

01:17:30.000 Japanese...

01:17:31.000 Look at things entirely differently.

01:17:33.000 The Japanese people might have rewarded him for this because it's part of the spectacle. 0.96

01:17:37.000 It's the spectacle of...

01:17:38.000 Look at him. 1.00

01:17:39.000 He's like, what the fuck, man? 1.00

01:17:40.000 Don't kiss me. 1.00

01:17:40.000 And then he's shrugging. 1.00

01:17:41.000 He's shrugging.

01:17:42.000 So I'm like, I'm sorry the guy kissed me. 0.99

01:17:44.000 Don't fucking kiss Heath Herring. 0.99

01:17:45.000 Now you know. 0.99

01:17:46.000 Next guy won't kiss him. 0.60

01:17:48.000 He's pointing down on the ground.

01:17:49.000 Look, he said he kissed me, man. 1.00

01:17:51.000 I fucking hit him. 1.00

01:17:52.000 Bro, what do you want me to do? 1.00

01:17:53.000 I'm sorry.

01:17:53.000 All right, I'm sorry.

01:17:54.000 I thought I saw another one where a guy kissed the guy.

01:17:57.000 I think you did.

01:17:58.000 All right.

01:17:58.000 I think you did.

01:17:59.000 I now remember the guy kissed and the other guy kissed.

01:18:01.000 And they kissed him back and they laughed.

01:18:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:18:03.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:18:03.000 I've seen that one.

01:18:04.000 I don't remember who that was, though.

01:18:06.000 Might have been Mike Bernardo.

01:18:07.000 Might have been a K-1 bout.

01:18:08.000 You know these guys more than I do.

01:18:10.000 Talk to me about the stare down a little bit.

01:18:12.000 What about it?

01:18:14.000 Because I saw one, your buddy Anderson Silva, one time didn't look at the guy.

01:18:21.000 A lot of times guys don't look at him.

01:18:22.000 Tell me what the strategy is on that.

01:18:24.000 Boss Rutan didn't look at guys.

01:18:26.000 Fedor Emelianenko was probably one of the greatest of all time.

01:18:28.000 Not probably, definitely one of the greatest of all time.

01:18:30.000 Say his name again?

01:18:31.000 Fedor Emelianenko.

01:18:33.000 He's actually, he's a Russian gentleman.

01:18:36.000 In Russia they don't even say Fedor, they say Fyodor.

01:18:39.000 Fyodor Melianenko.

01:18:40.000 But it's spelled in, you know, obviously it's English.

01:18:44.000 The version of the way we spell it is different than the way they spell it because they use different alphabets.

01:18:48.000 When did he fight?

01:18:50.000 Well, he's still fighting.

01:18:51.000 He just started fighting again recently.

01:18:53.000 He just fought and won but looked really bad.

01:18:56.000 Right.

01:18:57.000 This is a different fight.

01:18:58.000 This is a different stare down.

01:18:59.000 These guys are going to kiss too?

01:19:01.000 Oh, he kissed him and the other guy got mad.

01:19:03.000 We don't have to keep watching guys kiss.

01:19:07.000 Wayne Fetterman just loves guys kissing.

01:19:11.000 So he wouldn't look at them.

01:19:14.000 He'd look down.

01:19:15.000 Because it's a waste of energy.

01:19:16.000 Did you?

01:19:17.000 Oh, waste of energy?

01:19:19.000 Yeah, if you get anxious about it, it's a waste of energy.

01:19:24.000 It's not a...

01:19:25.000 What's the word for it?

01:19:28.000 Intimidation?

01:19:29.000 Nonsense.

01:19:30.000 Honestly, it's nonsense because you're going to fight.

01:19:32.000 It's already happening.

01:19:33.000 It's already happening.

01:19:35.000 But some guys are really good at it.

01:19:37.000 And also, some guys would get angry if other guys were doing it, so they would out-stare them down.

01:19:42.000 Like, here's the best stare down.

01:19:44.000 Of all time in MMA. I'll show you the best stare down. 0.98

01:19:47.000 Right.

01:19:47.000 Mirko Krokop versus Vanderlei Silva.

01:19:50.000 This is the best stare down ever because Vanderlei, his nickname is the Axe Murderer. 1.00

01:19:55.000 He's a fucking savage. 0.99

01:19:57.000 He was a pride middleweight champion. 1.00

01:19:59.000 Bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:20:00.000 Just a bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:20:01.000 But he was fighting Mirko Krokop, who is the head of an anti-terrorist squadron in Croatia. 1.00

01:20:07.000 And he's a real murderer. 0.99

01:20:09.000 You're talking about a different kind of fucking straight-up killer and an elite high-level kickboxer. 0.99

01:20:15.000 So look at Krokop on the left. 0.99

01:20:17.000 Yeah, I see him.

01:20:18.000 See, that's the eyes of the guy who's killed someone with a knife. 0.98

01:20:21.000 See, there's a fucking completely different stare down here. 0.99

01:20:25.000 Krokop's looking at him and he's not budging. 0.97

01:20:27.000 This is the first time where Vandele lost a stare down.

01:20:31.000 Vandele was used to staring guys down and they would be intimidated and Krokop looked at him like he was dinner.

01:20:39.000 And Krokop wound up head kicking him.

01:20:43.000 Video, um, pull up, uh, Mirko, Crow Cop, KO, Vandele Silva.

01:20:48.000 Can I say on a side note- He hit him with, like, one of the greatest head kick knockouts ever.

01:20:52.000 Yeah, I want to see that, but on a side note, it's impressive that you know all these guys' names.

01:20:57.000 Well, it's part of my job.

01:20:58.000 I understand, but still, I feel like it's impressive.

01:21:02.000 It's only impressive because you don't know their names.

01:21:04.000 If you were another MMA fan, you'd be like, yeah, Rogan knows those guys' names.

01:21:08.000 He's supposed to know those names.

01:21:10.000 Just as a fellow comedian, I'm just saying you've got to be the only comedian that knows all these guys' names.

01:21:15.000 Maybe Adam Hunter.

01:21:17.000 He probably would know it.

01:21:18.000 He's a big fan.

01:21:19.000 Anyway.

01:21:20.000 He probably wouldn't know maybe as many.

01:21:22.000 I don't know.

01:21:22.000 Maybe he does.

01:21:23.000 It's impressive.

01:21:23.000 Well, I just...

01:21:24.000 I don't know a lot of sports.

01:21:27.000 Like you guys were talking about basketball before the show started. 0.98

01:21:29.000 I don't know jack shit about basketball. 0.91

01:21:32.000 There's a limited amount of data that a man can keep in his head. 0.98

01:21:34.000 Or a woman, I'm assuming. 0.87

01:21:36.000 Right.

01:21:36.000 And I just don't...

01:21:37.000 You know, I only have so many stats.

01:21:39.000 Of course.

01:21:40.000 My stats are filled up with MMA fighters.

01:21:43.000 Before we get to this fight...

01:21:44.000 Watch this.

01:21:44.000 This is Mirko Krokop.

01:21:46.000 This is a slow motion version of it.

01:21:48.000 Watch this.

01:21:49.000 Boom! 0.99

01:21:51.000 That's those two guys that were staring each other down.

01:21:53.000 Oh, I see.

01:21:54.000 Yeah.

01:21:54.000 The stare down is actually from their first fight.

01:21:57.000 The head kick was from their second fight.

01:21:59.000 Anyway.

01:22:03.000 Stats, head kicks.

01:22:05.000 No, no, no, no.

01:22:06.000 Stair downs.

01:22:07.000 I know, I know.

01:22:07.000 I was going to ask you, of the sports that you don't follow, what are your favorites, what are your least favorites?

01:22:15.000 I don't really care about any of them.

01:22:16.000 They can make them all illegal. 0.99

01:22:18.000 I wouldn't give a fuck. 0.99

01:22:18.000 Baseball? 0.99

01:22:19.000 Nothing.

01:22:20.000 Waste of time.

01:22:21.000 Okay.

01:22:22.000 Can you just say you're not interested?

01:22:26.000 Oh, he hit the ball with the stick and then he ran, but he forgot to touch the bag that's on the ground, so it didn't count!

01:22:36.000 Is it because you think that this is the ultimate sport because it's boiled down?

01:22:40.000 No, it's not that I think that it's the ultimate sport.

01:22:43.000 Because it's boiled down?

01:22:43.000 It is unquestionably the most exciting thing that two human beings can engage in.

01:22:47.000 Because it's not a game.

01:22:49.000 It's not a game.

01:22:51.000 It's high-level problem solving with dire physical consequences.

01:22:55.000 Oh, that's interesting.

01:22:56.000 That's really what it is.

01:22:56.000 Did you come up with that?

01:22:57.000 Yes.

01:22:57.000 That's mine.

01:22:58.000 That's pretty good.

01:22:59.000 Yeah.

01:23:00.000 Say it again?

01:23:00.000 High-level problem-solving with dire physical consequences.

01:23:04.000 All right.

01:23:05.000 Okay.

01:23:05.000 All right.

01:23:06.000 So, I don't even have to go through baseball, soccer.

01:23:10.000 I think, no.

01:23:11.000 Soccer, to me, is interesting.

01:23:12.000 Can you do an Edith Bunker impression about all of them?

01:23:14.000 Oh, soccer!

01:23:16.000 I've been watching soccer recently because I'm friends with Ian Edwards, and he's a giant soccer fan, and he actually has a soccer podcast, and he's been trying to get me into soccer, so we watched a bunch of soccer games together.

01:23:27.000 Matches.

01:23:27.000 It's fun.

01:23:28.000 It's fun, but when they get smacked accidentally, and they go down like bitches, oh, I can't... 1.00

01:23:35.000 That is the worst thing. 0.99

01:23:36.000 I agree with you.

01:23:37.000 I looked at him.

01:23:38.000 I looked over at Ian. 1.00

01:23:39.000 I'm like, I can't support this kind of fucking pussy behavior. 1.00

01:23:41.000 This is horrible. 1.00

01:23:42.000 Are you...

01:23:43.000 That I agree with you 100%.

01:23:45.000 That's hard to watch.

01:23:47.000 That is hard to watch.

01:23:49.000 Because it's like you're a competitor. 1.00

01:23:51.000 It's pathetic. 0.99

01:23:53.000 I agree with everything. 0.99

01:23:54.000 Someone knows when someone smacks someone. 0.88

01:23:56.000 Everyone knows.

01:23:57.000 You can see it.

01:23:58.000 They have replays. 1.00

01:23:59.000 You don't have to go down like a bitch. 1.00

01:24:00.000 You don't have to hold your face and roll around the ground in agony. 1.00

01:24:03.000 Especially when you've seen what I've seen.

01:24:05.000 You've seen guys get kneed in the face like Cyborg.

01:24:10.000 Venom's knee into Cyborg's Skull.

01:24:12.000 I know these guys' names now.

01:24:14.000 Now you do.

01:24:15.000 Well, just their nicknames.

01:24:16.000 But it's an interesting sport.

01:24:18.000 It's an interesting sport in that there's some pretty complex strategy going on.

01:24:23.000 There's a lot of movement.

01:24:24.000 Now, I remember I talked to you about this a long time ago.

01:24:27.000 There was a great episode of either CNN Sports or ESPN when they brought you on to talk about how horrible MMA was compared to boxing.

01:24:36.000 And then you, in a very skilled manner, took apart the interviewer and the other guy with, A, your knowledge of boxing, and then, B, explaining why you thought MMA, or I don't even know if that's the right term, was the natural evolution of what was going on.

01:24:57.000 Do you remember that?

01:24:58.000 Yes.

01:24:58.000 I assume you talk about that a lot on this podcast or no?

01:25:02.000 You talk about the difference?

01:25:03.000 No, that moment.

01:25:04.000 No.

01:25:05.000 What was it?

01:25:06.000 What was it?

01:25:06.000 That was ESPN. ESPN. It was the early days of the UFC where people didn't accept the UFC. That guy has actually become a UFC fan.

01:25:15.000 I think they had to realize that there's room for everybody.

01:25:18.000 Look, I'm a boxing fan.

01:25:20.000 I've always been a boxing fan.

01:25:21.000 Before all of this?

01:25:22.000 Oh, yeah.

01:25:23.000 Oh yeah, my whole life.

01:25:25.000 I've always been a boxing fan.

01:25:26.000 Can I say something about boxing?

01:25:28.000 Sure.

01:25:28.000 Whenever I hear the term pound for pound, that term, all I think of, okay, that's a little guy.

01:25:36.000 I don't know.

01:25:37.000 Whatever we're talking about.

01:25:38.000 In the UFC, most people think it's John Jones, and he's 205 pounds.

01:25:42.000 Oh, he is?

01:25:43.000 Yeah.

01:25:43.000 Okay.

01:25:44.000 Well, he's around 225. But whenever I hear that term, it's always like, well, they're talking about a little guy.

01:25:49.000 No, because mostly the time during Roy Jones Jr.'s day was him, and he was 175, and he won the heavyweight title.

01:25:57.000 He beat John Ruiz at heavyweight.

01:25:59.000 Roy Jones Jr.?

01:26:00.000 Yes.

01:26:01.000 Yeah.

01:26:01.000 I thought he was a...

01:26:03.000 Well, he fought super middleweight, which is 168. He won the light heavyweight title.

01:26:08.000 Do they have weight divisions in MMA? Of course.

01:26:10.000 Same numbers?

01:26:12.000 No.

01:26:12.000 Not the same numbers.

01:26:13.000 Different numbers.

01:26:14.000 Same names.

01:26:15.000 It's very confusing.

01:26:16.000 Like welterweight.

01:26:17.000 Yeah?

01:26:17.000 Welterweight in boxing is 147. Welterweight in MMA is 170. Yeah.

01:26:23.000 So those guys are just bigger.

01:26:24.000 It's just a different name, because we have a 145 weight class, but it's called featherweight.

01:26:29.000 Oh.

01:26:30.000 Do they have an ultra featherweight?

01:26:31.000 No, they have a bantamweight.

01:26:33.000 A mini featherweight?

01:26:34.000 Oh, yeah.

01:26:34.000 Well, they have a lightweight, which is 155. Which is the smallest?

01:26:38.000 155 in boxing would be super lightweight or junior middleweight.

01:26:43.000 Or super welterweight or junior middleweight, rather.

01:26:45.000 Oh, interesting.

01:26:46.000 Yeah.

01:26:48.000 There's not enough weight classes in MMA. Maybe people think there's too many in boxing, which I don't have a problem with it.

01:26:55.000 I like the fact there's a lot of weight classes because it gives a lot of guys options and it gives guys options for championship encounters.

01:27:01.000 But I think that the UFC could use more weight classes.

01:27:04.000 I think there should be a weight class minimum every 10 pounds. 0.93

01:27:07.000 Because 10 pounds, there's a big difference between a 170 pound guy and a 180 pound guy as far as strength.

01:27:14.000 It's a big difference in what they can do.

01:27:18.000 How long before, from the weigh-in to the fight, do they have to put on weight?

01:27:24.000 It used to be 24 hours, but now it's quite a bit more, because now they usually let them start early in the morning, as early as, I believe, 8am, sometimes 10am.

01:27:34.000 So they have from 10am to noon to make weight now.

01:27:37.000 And the weigh-in, now when we do the weigh-ins, I announce the weigh-ins on Friday.

01:27:41.000 I've always done that, yeah.

01:27:43.000 And now it's the official weight.

01:27:45.000 It's not the actual weigh-in.

01:27:47.000 They don't actually get on the scale.

01:27:48.000 And then the weigh-in, they get on the scale.

01:27:50.000 It's more for show. 1.00

01:27:51.000 It's kind of stupid that they get on a scale at all. 0.99

01:27:54.000 I don't know if I'm following this. 0.99

01:27:55.000 Because they've already weighed in.

01:27:55.000 They've already weighed in.

01:27:56.000 Oh, I see.

01:27:57.000 I see, I see.

01:27:57.000 Yeah, we probably shouldn't have them stand on a scale and do this nonsense.

01:28:02.000 Facade?

01:28:02.000 Yeah.

01:28:03.000 It's really kind of foolish, and I'm actually going to talk to them about maybe coming up with a better solution. 0.62

01:28:07.000 Do you need me to send an angry email? 0.88

01:28:09.000 What do you need me to do?

01:28:10.000 Tweet off the Fetterman account.

01:28:12.000 At Fetterman.

01:28:13.000 Because people won't know it's you.

01:28:15.000 They're looking for Wayne Fetterman.

01:28:17.000 Who's this angry Fetterman character?

01:28:19.000 At Fetterman, who's furious at the charade that is a Wayne.

01:28:23.000 It's a charade, which is like a charade when you're drunk off charades.

01:28:29.000 This is a total charade. 1.00

01:28:33.000 Goddamn Sherrod. 1.00

01:28:34.000 Sherrod, what's going on here? 1.00

01:28:35.000 You could be indignant.

01:28:36.000 You could be furious.

01:28:37.000 Has anyone failed weigh-ins?

01:28:39.000 All the time.

01:28:40.000 All the time.

01:28:40.000 What happens to that fight?

01:28:41.000 They either lose 20% of their purse to their opponent, and the fight goes on, or they cancel the fight.

01:28:49.000 And it depends entirely upon their opponent's choice.

01:28:53.000 Like, there's a perfect example.

01:28:54.000 This past weekend, there's a guy named Ian McCall, and he was supposed to be fighting Justin Scoggins.

01:29:01.000 I'm kidding.

01:29:02.000 I'm kidding.

01:29:03.000 This is my thing now.

01:29:04.000 I get it.

01:29:04.000 I get your thing.

01:29:05.000 You're so silly. 0.99

01:29:07.000 And Scoggins was supposed to get down to 125. There's a flyweight fight. 1.00

01:29:11.000 This is the lightest weight class in the UFC. Fly is the lightest.

01:29:15.000 The lightest.

01:29:16.000 Well, there's a strawweight for women, which is 115. But there's not a men's strawweight division.

01:29:22.000 That's humiliating.

01:29:23.000 Well, women's 115 is not even that small.

01:29:24.000 No, it's not the size.

01:29:25.000 The name's straw. 0.97

01:29:27.000 Like, literally, you're a piece of straw. 0.98

01:29:30.000 I guess. 0.98

01:29:31.000 You never thought about it?

01:29:32.000 Fly is better than being straw?

01:29:34.000 Is it better to be a fly than straw?

01:29:36.000 At least you have some.

01:29:38.000 At least you're an insect?

01:29:39.000 At least you have some forward mobility.

01:29:41.000 Jeff Goldblum movie?

01:29:42.000 You're not something some farmer daughter's chewing on and she's flirting with the guy from the gas station. 1.00

01:29:49.000 Is that how you think about it?

01:29:50.000 That's how I think of straw.

01:29:51.000 What do you think about it?

01:29:52.000 I think that is wheat.

01:29:53.000 Oh, it is?

01:29:54.000 What is straw?

01:29:56.000 What is straw?

01:29:56.000 Straw is like grass that's been...

01:29:59.000 No, that's hay.

01:30:01.000 Right?

01:30:02.000 Hay is when they take grass and they chop it down, they roll it up and they feed it to cows.

01:30:06.000 Right?

01:30:07.000 That's hay. 0.93

01:30:08.000 Like hay bales.

01:30:09.000 I didn't think that was straw.

01:30:11.000 What is straw?

01:30:11.000 I always thought straw was like those little, thin, long things.

01:30:15.000 Are they the same?

01:30:16.000 We're going to find out.

01:30:17.000 Well, you always see like wheat in someone's teeth.

01:30:20.000 I always think of wheat more as like a stalk that has little flowers on it.

01:30:24.000 Not little, I mean...

01:30:25.000 Straw is a stalk, usually a waste product of wheat.

01:30:28.000 Oh, okay.

01:30:29.000 It's the same thing, I guess.

01:30:30.000 That's used as a bedding for barnyard animals.

01:30:33.000 It's the waste product.

01:30:34.000 Interesting.

01:30:35.000 So the straw is the part that you don't use.

01:30:37.000 Hay is typically alfalfa or grass that is used as animal feed.

01:30:42.000 Interesting.

01:30:44.000 Okay, now I know.

01:30:45.000 Because Straw and Hay, I used to think it was interchangeable.

01:30:46.000 So would you rather be, again, let's go back to your question that you posed. 0.99

01:30:49.000 I don't give a fuck about names, bro. 0.98

01:30:50.000 I don't care. 1.00

01:30:51.000 Straw, Fly, who gives a shit? 0.99

01:30:52.000 Honestly, I think no names. 0.99

01:30:54.000 I think 125-pound division.

01:30:55.000 Just the numbers?

01:30:55.000 Yeah, I agree with that.

01:30:56.000 He's the 155-pound champion.

01:30:58.000 That's what I think.

01:30:59.000 It's very clear.

01:30:59.000 Everyone will know.

01:31:00.000 I don't like the welterweight, heavyweight, cruiserweight.

01:31:05.000 Come on, heavyweight.

01:31:06.000 You know, here's another interesting thing.

01:31:08.000 Heavyweight has a weight limit.

01:31:10.000 It can't be heavier than 265 pounds.

01:31:12.000 In boxing?

01:31:13.000 In the UFC. Because we don't have a super heavyweight division.

01:31:16.000 We have a heavyweight division.

01:31:17.000 It goes up to 265, and that's what's sanctioned.

01:31:20.000 And then from 265 on up is super heavyweight.

01:31:23.000 But the UFC does not have and has never had a super heavyweight division.

01:31:28.000 They don't want to see those guys that are not...

01:31:29.000 Just never had it.

01:31:30.000 Well, they don't have to be like fat.

01:31:32.000 You made a fat gesture.

01:31:34.000 I did.

01:31:34.000 They could easily be just giant.

01:31:36.000 Like Brock Lesnar.

01:31:37.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:31:37.000 Brock Lesnar has to suck weight. 1.00

01:31:39.000 He has to dehydrate himself to make the 265 pound weight limit. 0.97

01:31:44.000 Do you know LeBron?

01:31:46.000 This is basketball.

01:31:47.000 This is a sport you don't know.

01:31:48.000 He's an athlete, right?

01:31:50.000 He's an athlete.

01:31:50.000 I've seen him.

01:31:51.000 He has sneakers.

01:31:52.000 Jamie, how many do you think he weighs?

01:31:54.000 Probably weighs 300 pounds.

01:31:55.000 Yeah.

01:31:56.000 270?

01:31:57.000 275. Huge.

01:31:58.000 Huge.

01:31:59.000 Okay, I guess you could have somebody that size.

01:32:01.000 Yeah.

01:32:02.000 Super heavyweight.

01:32:04.000 Yeah. 0.89

01:32:05.000 Yeah, those are two fat guys. 0.98

01:32:06.000 Yeah. 0.94

01:32:08.000 Remember that guy Butterball?

01:32:09.000 Is that him?

01:32:10.000 Butterbean.

01:32:10.000 Butterbean?

01:32:11.000 He just died, right?

01:32:13.000 No, he's alive.

01:32:14.000 He is?

01:32:14.000 Yeah.

01:32:15.000 He's fat as fuck, but he's alive. 1.00

01:32:16.000 Was he a bouncer or something that became a... 1.00

01:32:18.000 Well, I don't know what his deal was.

01:32:22.000 I know he's a cook.

01:32:24.000 I know he likes to eat.

01:32:25.000 He's supposed to be really good at cooking pork chops.

01:32:26.000 He fought MMA for a while, fought boxing, fought kickboxing, had some kickboxing fights.

01:32:35.000 So, can I go back to your last fight?

01:32:37.000 Yeah, sure.

01:32:38.000 Because I'm really curious, but just as somebody who's, like, afraid of fighting, so I'm just curious about it.

01:32:43.000 Like, you get hit.

01:32:45.000 Did you think you were winning at the time?

01:32:47.000 I was definitely winning, yeah.

01:32:48.000 Oh no, you were winning.

01:32:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:32:50.000 That is like a short story.

01:32:52.000 I fought three times that day.

01:32:53.000 That was part of the problem.

01:32:55.000 There was two problems.

01:32:56.000 One of the problems was that I was...

01:32:58.000 Do you know the exact date?

01:33:00.000 No, I don't.

01:33:01.000 Okay.

01:33:02.000 One of the problems was that I was doing comedy at the time, and I was working full-time.

01:33:07.000 This is in Boston.

01:33:08.000 Yeah, and I was trying to figure out what I was doing with my life, and I was not nearly as dedicated as I was to fighting just a few years before that.

01:33:15.000 I was 21, on my way to 22. I might have been 22 at the time, or maybe a month or two before I turned 22, and that's when I decided I was done.

01:33:24.000 Because I knew I was half-assing it.

01:33:26.000 And I just wasn't training as hard as I was just a couple of years ago when I was fighting and competing.

01:33:33.000 And I was the Massachusetts state champion.

01:33:35.000 And I was competing in national tournaments and traveling all over the country.

01:33:38.000 I had realized that it was a dead end.

01:33:40.000 And then I had put an incredible amount of time and effort into something.

01:33:45.000 Even in its best case scenario.

01:33:46.000 There was no money in it.

01:33:47.000 Right.

01:33:48.000 None.

01:33:48.000 And then I'd also had a problem in that...

01:33:52.000 I started competing in Taekwondo which was mostly kicking art and very little hand techniques and then I went from Taekwondo I started training at a boxing gym and I realized that I really needed a massive amount of work on my hands and so I started boxing and I was getting beat up a lot like I was I was having wars in the gym and I wasn't always winning and Okay,

01:34:15.000 can we just slow down?

01:34:16.000 In these wars you're having, and you're getting beat up.

01:34:20.000 Just beat up.

01:34:21.000 You're getting beat. 1.00

01:34:22.000 You're getting punched in the face. 0.99

01:34:23.000 You're getting punched in the face. 0.96

01:34:24.000 And we all know that great Tyson thing. 0.55

01:34:26.000 Everyone has a plan until someone punches you in the face.

01:34:32.000 What's going through your head?

01:34:33.000 Is it just like...

01:34:34.000 Keep moving.

01:34:35.000 Throw your jab.

01:34:36.000 Move your head.

01:34:37.000 Don't get hit as much.

01:34:38.000 Move your feet.

01:34:39.000 Use your footwork.

01:34:40.000 Don't stand in the pocket.

01:34:42.000 Don't freeze up.

01:34:43.000 All technique.

01:34:44.000 Yeah, I mean, you're sparring.

01:34:45.000 What I was doing was, there was a guy named Joe Lake, who was my boxing coach.

01:34:50.000 This is what happened.

01:34:51.000 I was working at this place called Nautilus Plus in Revere, Massachusetts.

01:34:56.000 They had this section of this gym that we had rented out.

01:34:59.000 This big room that we had rented out, and I had started teaching Taekwondo classes there.

01:35:04.000 And so I would go out and put out flyers, and I would teach classes, and I also taught at Boston University.

01:35:09.000 I had my own classes at BU. Wait a minute, you flyered? 0.99

01:35:13.000 Yeah, I put flyers up.

01:35:14.000 Did you ever do flyers for comedy?

01:35:16.000 No, never did flyers for comedy.

01:35:18.000 Did you ever stand outside a comedy club?

01:35:20.000 No, never did that.

01:35:21.000 Neither did I. But I know...

01:35:22.000 That's a New York thing.

01:35:23.000 That's a New York thing?

01:35:24.000 Yeah, they stand down.

01:35:25.000 There's so much foot traffic to try to get people to go to the cellar.

01:35:28.000 It's just funny.

01:35:28.000 It's just like of all the comedians I've known that are like...

01:35:31.000 Or bands.

01:35:32.000 You know, you would hear about these bands in the 80s starting out.

01:35:34.000 They had to put up flyers.

01:35:35.000 Put up flyers.

01:35:36.000 And then you were doing it for Taekwondo.

01:35:38.000 Yeah, I was doing it for lessons, you know.

01:35:41.000 For lessons, okay.

01:35:41.000 It would be like, I think there was like a photo of someone throwing a sidekick or something like that, and it would be, you know, the name of the gym and the phone number for the school where you could call and sign up.

01:35:54.000 And did it have your name?

01:35:55.000 Yeah, yeah, it had my name.

01:35:56.000 No nickname Rogan?

01:35:57.000 No, no nickname.

01:35:58.000 It just had my credentials and my, you know, black belt and all that jazz.

01:36:03.000 Black? 0.74

01:36:04.000 Four-time Massachusetts State Taekwondo champion and won the U.S. Open and all these different things.

01:36:09.000 Do you have trophies and stuff? 0.99

01:36:10.000 Yeah, I got a bunch of that shit. 0.96

01:36:11.000 Where are they? 0.99

01:36:11.000 I got a bunch of medals in my closet. 0.99

01:36:13.000 Everything's in the closet?

01:36:14.000 Yeah, they're just hanging around.

01:36:16.000 Yeah.

01:36:16.000 What am I going to do with them?

01:36:17.000 I don't know.

01:36:18.000 I've never won a, you know, a boxing or a Taekwondo champion.

01:36:21.000 You've never won anything?

01:36:23.000 Any sports?

01:36:25.000 Now you're starting to hurt me.

01:36:26.000 I don't know why you're attacking me.

01:36:28.000 We were having a pretty good time here, weren't we?

01:36:30.000 I don't think I'm attacking you.

01:36:31.000 I think you're super sensitive.

01:36:32.000 I am!

01:36:33.000 I am a sensitive guy.

01:36:34.000 Why so sensitive?

01:36:37.000 Yeah, I have a couple sports trophies, football trophies from when I was a kid.

01:36:40.000 Oh, really?

01:36:40.000 Yeah.

01:36:41.000 Okay.

01:36:41.000 There you go.

01:36:41.000 On a team.

01:36:42.000 But not an individual, like...

01:36:45.000 This.

01:36:46.000 That's what I didn't like about teams.

01:36:48.000 I didn't like the idea that we all won together.

01:36:51.000 I was very selfish.

01:36:53.000 I wanted to win.

01:36:54.000 And I didn't also like the idea that we lost because Bobby dropped the ball.

01:36:57.000 Right.

01:36:58.000 Oh, Bobby dropped the ball. 0.98

01:36:59.000 And now I'm a loser. 0.97

01:36:59.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:37:00.000 Because Bobby's a fucking klutz. 1.00

01:37:01.000 I'm a loser? 1.00

01:37:02.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:37:03.000 Okay. 1.00

01:37:04.000 So, anyway, I went from teaching, I was teaching at this class, and this guy, Joe Lake, who's a friend of mine, who is a boxer, who's a professional boxer, and he's a boxing coach.

01:37:15.000 He taught a lot of pro boxers in the area.

01:37:17.000 He came in and was watching me work out, and he wanted to learn some kicks.

01:37:22.000 And we started talking, and found out I was a boxing fan.

01:37:25.000 We started talking about boxing, and he told me what he does.

01:37:30.000 He said, you know, hey, how about we make a deal, you know, I'll teach you some boxing, you teach me some kicking, and I said, I love it.

01:37:35.000 So when I started learning from him, he's a great coach and teaching me boxing techniques and stuff like that, I started realizing how little I knew about combining boxing and kicking together, and also how little I knew about really, like, getting hit and rolling with punches,

01:37:51.000 and I just was missing that aspect of fighting.

01:37:55.000 I started doing it, and as I started doing it, and I competed, and I started doing a lot of sparring, I started realizing that what I had dedicated all my time to, Taekwondo, was limited in a lot of ways.

01:38:08.000 Like, without learning how to throw punches, there was a real problem with it.

01:38:11.000 So, I kind of knew that I was not going to compete in Taekwondo anymore.

01:38:15.000 I kind of knew, like, wow, this has sort of opened up my eyes to the fact that Taekwondo is very limited.

01:38:20.000 And there was no MMA back then.

01:38:22.000 So, like, Taekwondo, you see in MMA a lot.

01:38:24.000 Do you wish there was?

01:38:25.000 No.

01:38:25.000 I'm very happy with everything turned, the way everything turned out.

01:38:28.000 No, of course, of course.

01:38:28.000 But I'm just like, to have tested yourself in that kind of...

01:38:31.000 I would have, for sure, 100%.

01:38:33.000 Just to, like, let me just see what I can...

01:38:36.000 I mean, I did kickboxing because I wanted to find out about that.

01:38:39.000 I did taekwondo because I wanted to find out about that.

01:38:41.000 I fought in karate tournaments.

01:38:42.000 I did a lot of different stuff because I just wanted to see what it was like.

01:38:46.000 But if MMA was around, I would have realized that, well, all this stuff is all fine and dandy, all this kicking and punching, but if somebody takes you down, then what are you going to do?

01:38:54.000 I would have realized then.

01:38:55.000 And that's one of the reasons why, when I came to LA, I immediately got into jiu-jitsu.

01:38:59.000 So I started taking jiu-jitsu in 1996, and the reason why I started taking it was because of watching the UFC and seeing guys take guys to the ground, seeing Hoist Gracie dominate guys and choke them and tap them.

01:39:10.000 And I realized, oh, okay, I've got to learn this stuff.

01:39:12.000 This is some totally different stuff.

01:39:15.000 I kind of caught the wave.

01:39:17.000 I got into it as a traditional martial artist, as a Taekwondo practitioner, and then went from that into all these other martial arts that I had kind of assimilated.

01:39:27.000 Plus, I was a big Bruce Lee fan, and that was one of the things that Bruce Lee subscribed to.

01:39:32.000 Which way?

01:39:33.000 He was the first proponent of mixing and integrating different styles together.

01:39:37.000 And his Jeet Kune Do style was entirely the philosophy of his style. 0.60

01:39:44.000 Absorb what's useful.

01:39:45.000 Take all the useful aspects of different martial arts and apply them.

01:39:48.000 I feel like that could almost apply to bigger things in life.

01:39:51.000 Oh, for sure.

01:39:52.000 Of course.

01:39:52.000 And also the limitations of not doing that apply to the limitations of being very rigid ideologically in your life.

01:40:01.000 Definitely.

01:40:01.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:40:02.000 Because there's a lot of people that want to think that what they do is the only way.

01:40:06.000 People that are on Windows, for instance.

01:40:08.000 Some people are just like, I'll never use a Mac.

01:40:11.000 You know, or there's people that are, I'm a Democrat till I die, bro. 1.00

01:40:14.000 A fucking registered Democrat. 0.99

01:40:16.000 You know, there's a lot of people that get real rigid with their ideologies. 1.00

01:40:18.000 No matter what the evidence, new information comes their way, not interested.

01:40:22.000 Yeah.

01:40:23.000 And that applies.

01:40:25.000 Because there was a lot of blowback.

01:40:27.000 Or a lot of pushback when I was doing Taekwondo and then I started boxing.

01:40:31.000 When I started really getting involved in boxing...

01:40:33.000 Wait, there were people that didn't want you to do it?

01:40:35.000 Absolutely.

01:40:36.000 Yeah, they felt like it was negative.

01:40:37.000 What was their argument?

01:40:38.000 I didn't need to.

01:40:39.000 I was wasting my time.

01:40:40.000 I was taking away time from my Taekwondo training.

01:40:42.000 It was a waste.

01:40:44.000 And one of the things that helped me is that I started opening up my own school.

01:40:47.000 And when I opened up my own school in Revere, I was away from my instructors.

01:40:51.000 So I got a chance to train on my own, and I got a chance to bring in other people.

01:40:56.000 And that's when I really started to expand my ideas about what I needed to do, what was and what wasn't effective.

01:41:02.000 And I had a good buddy of mine who had also, my friend Mike Blythe, who had had some pro boxing fights and we did some sparring together and he beat me up too.

01:41:09.000 And so I kind of realized like, oh man, there's some stuff I need to figure out how to incorporate.

01:41:16.000 Wow.

01:41:17.000 Well, first of all, it brings up a million questions, but back to my original question about getting beat up.

01:41:23.000 Just as someone who has the flight reflex when someone's coming at me, that's my reflex as opposed to, oh, brush it off, move my feet, and stuff like that. 0.98

01:41:34.000 Did that ever appear where you're just like, fuck, I'm getting pummeled? 0.97

01:41:41.000 Well, I was never getting pummeled that bad. 0.99

01:41:42.000 I'm just talking about, like, emotionally.

01:41:45.000 It wasn't, no.

01:41:45.000 Because it wasn't like I didn't have a chance.

01:41:47.000 It was like I was...

01:41:48.000 Just losing?

01:41:49.000 I wasn't winning.

01:41:50.000 Okay.

01:41:50.000 You know?

01:41:50.000 But I was getting shots in.

01:41:52.000 Like, there was guys that were pro boxers that I knocked out in the gym.

01:41:55.000 So it wasn't that I was...

01:41:56.000 I gotcha.

01:41:57.000 ...100% losing, but I definitely wasn't winning like I was winning in Taekwondo tournaments.

01:42:01.000 And Taekwondo was at a real national class level.

01:42:04.000 Okay.

01:42:04.000 I must have felt great.

01:42:05.000 Yeah, but that's the problem.

01:42:06.000 When you're really good at something, you want to stick to only that.

01:42:09.000 Of course.

01:42:09.000 And you don't want to test the waters with things that you're not good at.

01:42:13.000 You don't want to be vulnerable.

01:42:14.000 In a weird way, can I draw a parallel to stand-up?

01:42:16.000 Sure.

01:42:17.000 Because a lot of times, like, you get really good, you develop a bit, you want to do it, it kills, you feel good, people are flirting with you after the show, it's a whole thing.

01:42:26.000 Who's flirting with you? 1.00

01:42:26.000 What? 1.00

01:42:27.000 What's going on?

01:42:28.000 Chicks coming up to you? 1.00

01:42:29.000 A lot of action?

01:42:31.000 Yeah, that's my moves. 0.54

01:42:32.000 Nice.

01:42:34.000 But then, again, hypothetical.

01:42:38.000 Totally hypothetical.

01:42:40.000 But then, if you want to expand your act, you have to try out new stuff, and that undercuts this invincible stand-up comedian image that is so popular, you know, is so wonderful.

01:42:53.000 Oh, yeah.

01:42:54.000 So I feel like, do you think that's a...

01:42:56.000 Valparallel?

01:42:57.000 Yeah, for sure, definitely.

01:42:59.000 Yeah.

01:42:59.000 Yeah, definitely.

01:43:00.000 But I think there's also other things in life.

01:43:02.000 I love doing things that I'm not good at.

01:43:04.000 Like one of the things I'm really into- Podcasting?

01:43:05.000 Yeah, perfect example.

01:43:07.000 One of the things I'm into lately is yoga.

01:43:10.000 What?

01:43:10.000 Because I'm not good at it.

01:43:11.000 I've been doing it for a year, like really solid.

01:43:14.000 What time do you do it?

01:43:15.000 In the mornings.

01:43:16.000 You just said you worked out hard in the morning.

01:43:19.000 Yeah.

01:43:19.000 And then you yoga?

01:43:20.000 Some days I do yoga.

01:43:21.000 Today I did kickboxing, but tomorrow I'm going to do yoga.

01:43:24.000 I do yoga different days.

01:43:26.000 What's your best- What is it?

01:43:29.000 Best pose?

01:43:30.000 I don't have a best.

01:43:31.000 I'm going to guess.

01:43:32.000 I'm going to guess.

01:43:33.000 It's laughing...

01:43:37.000 What?

01:43:39.000 You're making poses up?

01:43:40.000 The Laughing Princess.

01:43:41.000 Do you do that one? 1.00

01:43:41.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00

01:43:42.000 That's the hardest one. 0.99

01:43:43.000 I don't even know what you're talking about.

01:43:44.000 I don't know what it is.

01:43:45.000 You made it up?

01:43:45.000 Yeah.

01:43:46.000 You knew it since they started.

01:43:48.000 I don't know.

01:43:48.000 There might be a laughing princess.

01:43:50.000 There's a lot of moves.

01:43:50.000 I don't know.

01:43:51.000 I can't do yoga.

01:43:53.000 It's difficult.

01:43:53.000 Especially hot yoga, I really like.

01:43:56.000 Oh.

01:43:57.000 Because it's brutal.

01:43:57.000 And it also requires a lot of mental toughness.

01:44:00.000 Same as Bikram? 0.63

01:44:01.000 Yeah.

01:44:01.000 Yeah, same thing.

01:44:02.000 Okay.

01:44:02.000 How hot is it?

01:44:03.000 That's what I do.

01:44:04.000 104 degrees.

01:44:05.000 Do you do it any?

01:44:07.000 If this is too personal, just say, Wayne, back off.

01:44:10.000 Just say, Wayne, this is over the line.

01:44:12.000 Wayne, this is over the line.

01:44:13.000 Okay, I know it.

01:44:14.000 I know I'm very probing.

01:44:16.000 We'll move on to another thing.

01:44:18.000 No, go ahead.

01:44:19.000 Is part of the hot yoga to lose weight as well?

01:44:24.000 No.

01:44:25.000 None of it?

01:44:25.000 No, none of it.

01:44:26.000 It's all just for the...

01:44:28.000 Just exercise.

01:44:28.000 Yeah.

01:44:29.000 I mean, you definitely will lose weight if you do it.

01:44:31.000 It's 90 minutes of exertion.

01:44:33.000 There's a lot of calories being burnt, for sure.

01:44:34.000 How hot is it in there?

01:44:35.000 104 degrees. 0.71

01:44:37.000 But it's also 104 degrees, and then you're exercising, and there's 50 other people in the room, and they're all sweating like pigs.

01:44:42.000 Does it smell good? 0.99

01:44:43.000 It gets fucking hot. 0.98

01:44:43.000 No, it smells terrible sometimes. 0.98

01:44:45.000 Is that the hardest part?

01:44:46.000 No.

01:44:46.000 The smell?

01:44:47.000 No, the hardest part is...

01:44:48.000 Mental?

01:44:49.000 Well, here's the hardest part.

01:44:51.000 It never is going to be easy.

01:44:53.000 You will always put 100% effort into each and every individual pose, so it will never be less...

01:45:00.000 It will never be less than 100% effort.

01:45:02.000 So it will always be difficult.

01:45:04.000 You will get better at maintaining those poses.

01:45:07.000 You will get better at your range of motion.

01:45:09.000 You'll get better at your ability to hold positions.

01:45:11.000 But it will never be easy.

01:45:13.000 It's always going to be hard.

01:45:15.000 90 minutes.

01:45:16.000 Yep.

01:45:16.000 90 minutes.

01:45:17.000 Sweating like a fucking... 1.00

01:45:19.000 How does it end? 1.00

01:45:21.000 How does it end?

01:45:21.000 Is there a bell?

01:45:22.000 Is there a bell?

01:45:23.000 No, they just...

01:45:24.000 You just go, that's it?

01:45:25.000 That's it?

01:45:26.000 They say namaste.

01:45:27.000 What is that?

01:45:27.000 And you say namaste back.

01:45:28.000 Non-ironically.

01:45:30.000 And you're fine with that?

01:45:32.000 It's a comedian?

01:45:33.000 Yeah, you can do it.

01:45:34.000 Do you do that?

01:45:35.000 No, I don't do that with my hands, but I would if I had to.

01:45:38.000 You would?

01:45:38.000 Yeah, why not?

01:45:39.000 If I meant it.

01:45:40.000 If I actually meant it.

01:45:41.000 Okay, alright.

01:45:43.000 Alright, yoga.

01:45:44.000 That's impressive.

01:45:45.000 Yeah, but I'm not good at it.

01:45:46.000 That's one of the reasons why I like it.

01:45:48.000 I like doing things that I need to get better at.

01:45:50.000 You see your progress.

01:45:52.000 I know I'm better at it now than I was a year ago.

01:45:54.000 If I continue to do it, I'll get better at it.

01:45:57.000 It's just a challenge.

01:45:59.000 Joe, we've known each other a long time.

01:46:01.000 We're not close friends, right?

01:46:03.000 We're not close friends.

01:46:03.000 We could be.

01:46:04.000 We could be.

01:46:05.000 I like to win.

01:46:06.000 Thank you.

01:46:06.000 I think you're a very smart guy.

01:46:07.000 Oh, that's nice.

01:46:09.000 Yeah, but I am also on a lifetime self-improvement program.

01:46:13.000 Yeah?

01:46:14.000 Yeah, no question.

01:46:15.000 What kind of stuff are you into?

01:46:16.000 Well, one, cold yoga.

01:46:19.000 Have you tried that?

01:46:20.000 Do you do it in the snow?

01:46:21.000 We do it in the snow.

01:46:23.000 We do it naked in ice cubes.

01:46:26.000 A lot of people don't know it.

01:46:27.000 I do cold yoga.

01:46:29.000 I do, well, I try to, you know, I'm always teaching myself reading a lot, teaching myself instruments all the time.

01:46:38.000 Yeah, you're really into musical instruments.

01:46:40.000 I'm really into music.

01:46:41.000 How many different musical instruments do you know how to do?

01:46:44.000 Well, play is the word, but it's...

01:46:47.000 How many do you sing?

01:46:48.000 How many of those things do you sing?

01:46:51.000 You know, a few.

01:46:56.000 Just mainly...

01:46:57.000 How many gay ones? 0.89

01:46:58.000 Piano.

01:46:59.000 About half.

01:47:00.000 About half.

01:47:01.000 Piano, guitar, bass guitar.

01:47:03.000 Getting back into drums.

01:47:05.000 Are you one of the reasons why there's a piano on stage at the Improv?

01:47:07.000 Yes. 0.99

01:47:07.000 Because they need to take that fucking thing down. 0.99

01:47:09.000 No, we need another one. 0.99

01:47:11.000 We need dueling pianos.

01:47:12.000 They could have another room maybe with a piano, but that piano just gets in the way of the stage. 0.79

01:47:16.000 It's not used 99.9% of the time.

01:47:20.000 You and Owen Benjamin.

01:47:22.000 The only ones.

01:47:25.000 It's a tradition. 1.00

01:47:26.000 Yeah, but fuck that tradition. 1.00

01:47:27.000 It's in the way. 1.00

01:47:28.000 Those people to the right of the stage, they get fucked. 0.99

01:47:30.000 You can sit down, oh, we're gonna be front row. 0.99

01:47:32.000 This is getting good now. 1.00

01:47:33.000 You're staring at the goddamn piano. 1.00

01:47:35.000 It's bullshit. 1.00

01:47:37.000 Right? 1.00

01:47:38.000 Isn't it bullshit, Jay? 0.99

01:47:39.000 If you knew how the improv started... 1.00

01:47:41.000 Oh, I do.

01:47:42.000 You do?

01:47:42.000 I'm friends with Bud Friedman.

01:47:43.000 How do you like that?

01:47:44.000 Yeah.

01:47:46.000 So how did it start? 0.98

01:47:48.000 People made a piano, and they put it on a stage, and then somebody put a microphone there, and the comics were constantly annoyed by that fucking piano. 0.98

01:47:55.000 Not true. 0.97

01:47:56.000 It started out as Broadway singers coming in, doing show tunes after their shows, and people would hang out.

01:48:01.000 And guess what?

01:48:02.000 Well, you know how the South started?

01:48:03.000 Slavery.

01:48:04.000 Should we go back to that?

01:48:05.000 Jesus Christ.

01:48:06.000 So are you equating a piano?

01:48:08.000 Yes. 1.00

01:48:09.000 It's the fucking Confederate flag in a musical instrument form. 1.00

01:48:14.000 What if it only plays Leonard Skinner's songs on the piano? 1.00

01:48:18.000 Just Freebird.

01:48:19.000 Give me three steps.

01:48:20.000 Could you do Freebird on the piano?

01:48:21.000 Hey, there's me at the improv being annoyed by the piano.

01:48:24.000 Look at it.

01:48:25.000 It's right there.

01:48:26.000 Pissing me off. 1.00

01:48:27.000 That fucking thing's huge and it's in the way. 1.00

01:48:29.000 Oh, it's the best thing. 1.00

01:48:31.000 It's the best thing about it.

01:48:32.000 It's the best thing about it.

01:48:33.000 They should chop off the sides of that room. 0.98

01:48:35.000 Do you ever sit in...

01:48:35.000 Do you ever...

01:48:36.000 Oh, wait.

01:48:37.000 Let me hear what...

01:48:37.000 Chop off the sides of that stage.

01:48:40.000 The stage?

01:48:41.000 Yeah, you can take a few feet off of each side and add some more seats. 1.00

01:48:45.000 Get rid of that fucking piano. 1.00

01:48:48.000 Think stupid. 1.00

01:48:50.000 I said it. 1.00

01:48:51.000 I look fat in that picture.

01:48:52.000 Oof.

01:48:53.000 It's not real.

01:48:54.000 But boy, if it was real, I'd be pissed at myself.

01:48:57.000 You should be.

01:48:57.000 Maybe you need some hot yoga.

01:49:00.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:49:00.000 Maybe I do. 1.00

01:49:01.000 Maybe I do.

01:49:02.000 Some hot yoga in there.

01:49:04.000 Yeah, so anyway, so I teach myself music all the time.

01:49:09.000 And YouTube's been phenomenal for that.

01:49:11.000 When you talk about stand-up and writing jokes, how many specials have you ever done?

01:49:16.000 Oh, this is weird.

01:49:18.000 I'm going to hand you this.

01:49:21.000 That came out last year.

01:49:23.000 It's called The Chronicles of Fetterman.

01:49:24.000 You can open it up if you want.

01:49:26.000 Very handsome on that cover.

01:49:27.000 Thank you.

01:49:29.000 Now I feel like you're hitting on me.

01:49:30.000 How old are you in that picture?

01:49:32.000 How long ago is that picture?

01:49:33.000 That is 2009. The photo?

01:49:38.000 Yeah.

01:49:38.000 So the picture is many years before the actual album was released.

01:49:44.000 Yes.

01:49:45.000 Why is that?

01:49:46.000 Yes.

01:49:46.000 Yeah.

01:49:46.000 That's the picture.

01:49:48.000 Because it was...

01:49:48.000 I don't take good pictures.

01:49:50.000 I got one. 0.99

01:49:51.000 Let's fucking run with it. 0.99

01:49:52.000 It's a miracle. 0.99

01:49:53.000 That one looks as good as it did.

01:49:56.000 Why would you ask that?

01:49:57.000 It's obvious.

01:49:59.000 You look different in that picture.

01:50:00.000 Yeah.

01:50:01.000 It's from eight years ago or seven years ago.

01:50:03.000 Yeah.

01:50:05.000 So anyway, I just did the Comedy Central special.

01:50:08.000 I've never had a special outside of a half-hour thing.

01:50:12.000 And I've never had a comedy album in my life until five months ago.

01:50:17.000 So that's what that is.

01:50:19.000 That is a triple comedy album, compilation of all my stand-up through the years.

01:50:24.000 First bit is from 1984. Whoa.

01:50:27.000 You're recording on here from 84?

01:50:29.000 Yeah.

01:50:29.000 Wow.

01:50:30.000 Yeah.

01:50:30.000 So 84. Where'd you start?

01:50:34.000 Those started at the comic strip in New York.

01:50:37.000 Is that where you started in New York?

01:50:38.000 Mm-hmm.

01:50:39.000 Where are you from originally?

01:50:40.000 Florida, is that what you said?

01:50:41.000 Well, it was...

01:50:42.000 This is crazy because I took...

01:50:44.000 Got on Canoga...

01:50:45.000 Oh, I'm not allowed to say.

01:50:47.000 Canoga Park?

01:50:47.000 Well, I don't want to say where we are because I know you have crazy fans.

01:50:55.000 But I was actually born in California.

01:50:58.000 And then moved back east when my dad got sick, and then he died, and then we moved to Maryland, my mom remarried, and then we moved to Florida, and then I started my career in New York.

01:51:11.000 Wow, that's intense.

01:51:12.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:51:13.000 How old were you when your dad died?

01:51:14.000 A little over one.

01:51:15.000 I have no memory of him.

01:51:16.000 Wow.

01:51:17.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.98

01:51:18.000 So, yeah, but I started my, as soon as I graduated high school, it's interesting we have a Florida connection, as soon as I graduated high school, Got the fuck out of Dodge. 0.97

01:51:29.000 Good move.

01:51:31.000 Speaking of sports, you know where I graduated?

01:51:33.000 Where?

01:51:34.000 In a sports arena.

01:51:36.000 Do you want to guess?

01:51:36.000 It's a gambling arena.

01:51:38.000 Las Vegas?

01:51:39.000 No, in Florida.

01:51:40.000 There's a gambling arena in Florida?

01:51:43.000 It's called Hi-Li.

01:51:44.000 Oh, one of those things?

01:51:46.000 You ever heard of it?

01:51:46.000 Yeah.

01:51:47.000 I've seen that shit. 1.00

01:51:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:51:48.000 Do they still have that? 1.00

01:51:49.000 I think they do.

01:51:50.000 That's like they have that little tube when people walk in their dogs and they throw the ball.

01:51:54.000 That's what it looks like.

01:51:55.000 No.

01:51:56.000 Yeah, they have like a highlight stick.

01:51:57.000 They throw the ball for their dog.

01:51:59.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:51:59.000 You've seen that?

01:52:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:52:00.000 People that have bad rotator cuffs and they can't really throw a ball.

01:52:03.000 That's sad, right?

01:52:04.000 Sad.

01:52:05.000 You can't throw a ball.

01:52:06.000 It looks just like that.

01:52:08.000 Yeah.

01:52:08.000 It's one of the few sports in the world where you can't be left-handed and play.

01:52:12.000 Really?

01:52:13.000 Yeah.

01:52:13.000 Because there's a wall.

01:52:16.000 Yeah, they throw it against the wall.

01:52:17.000 It can only be right hand.

01:52:18.000 One of the few.

01:52:19.000 Huh.

01:52:20.000 And they used to call it the fastest sport in the world, and then guess who made them take that moniker away?

01:52:25.000 That was when I was a kid who was like, the fastest, because they would, you know, whip that thing.

01:52:28.000 Golf.

01:52:29.000 What?

01:52:30.000 The golfers say the ball travels faster when you hit it off a tee, and it's true.

01:52:34.000 So they made them take it down?

01:52:36.000 They made them.

01:52:37.000 First of all, golf's not a sport, it's a game.

01:52:39.000 Of course, of course.

01:52:40.000 Of course.

01:52:41.000 Highlight is weird.

01:52:42.000 So I graduated high school from, this is, and I talk about this on stage, South Plantation High.

01:52:49.000 Let's watch some of this.

01:52:50.000 Oh, so it bounces off the wall, and then they throw it and they catch it.

01:52:54.000 Right.

01:52:55.000 So if you were left-handed, the wall would be in the way.

01:52:58.000 Yeah.

01:52:59.000 Why would the wall be in the way?

01:53:00.000 Because you would smash your arm against the wall.

01:53:04.000 But they're on the right side, too.

01:53:06.000 Yeah, so there's only one wall.

01:53:08.000 Well, they're on the right side, like right there.

01:53:09.000 His arm got in the way. 1.00

01:53:11.000 That's dumb as fuck. 1.00

01:53:12.000 You could have a left-handed one. 1.00

01:53:13.000 Okay. 1.00

01:53:13.000 These guys are idiots. 1.00

01:53:17.000 Rogan takes down the highlight. 1.00

01:53:19.000 This thing can go to the left and the right.

01:53:21.000 If you can go to the left and the right, it makes no sense.

01:53:23.000 There's a net on the right where the audience is, and then the wall on the left.

01:53:29.000 Right.

01:53:30.000 Okay, doesn't matter.

01:53:31.000 I don't want to...

01:53:32.000 I might be wrong about this.

01:53:34.000 Again, I've been wrong about a lot of things in life, as you know.

01:53:38.000 I grew up hearing that that was fixed.

01:53:41.000 That high lie was fixed.

01:53:43.000 Yeah?

01:53:43.000 Wait, you're saying like...

01:53:46.000 Like fixed.

01:53:46.000 Like fake.

01:53:47.000 Like they cheat.

01:53:48.000 I would assume it would be the easiest of all the sports to fix because...

01:53:53.000 Look at that.

01:53:54.000 Why are left-handers forbidden to play Hi-Li?

01:53:57.000 And how many walls are there in Hi-Li?

01:53:59.000 Left-handers can play Hi-Li as long as they are willing to use their right hands.

01:54:06.000 Oh, you're right.

01:54:07.000 I stand corrected.

01:54:07.000 I'm just reading this, man.

01:54:09.000 The rules and tradition specifically forbid playing left-handed.

01:54:13.000 The reason for that is that the court only has three walls and one at each end, one on the side wall, and one on the left against which the ball can be rebounded.

01:54:23.000 Spectators are behind a chain-link fence on the fourth side because of the side wall on the left.

01:54:27.000 It would be dangerous and almost impossible for players to throw and catch with their left hands.

01:54:33.000 Okay.

01:54:34.000 Makes sense.

01:54:35.000 I love... 1.00

01:54:36.000 Stupid fucking game, though. 1.00

01:54:37.000 I agree. 1.00

01:54:38.000 But anyway, so...

01:54:39.000 Is it fixed?

01:54:40.000 The only reason I'm bringing...

01:54:41.000 Of course.

01:54:41.000 I'm sure.

01:54:42.000 I'm sure at least one of the eight matches that happen, or the ten matches, is fixed.

01:54:48.000 Which is why it's a gambling sport.

01:54:49.000 Like, as soon as you get gambling involved...

01:54:51.000 Yeah.

01:54:51.000 I would assume it would be the easiest.

01:54:53.000 Literally, you look at the guy and wink, and he drops the ball, and they lose that ring.

01:54:58.000 You know, it would be the easiest.

01:54:59.000 As opposed to a horse, it might be a little more difficult.

01:55:02.000 But the reason I bring it up, not to tell you my knowledge of hi-li.

01:55:06.000 Okay.

01:55:07.000 I graduated in a hi-li fronton.

01:55:11.000 It's called a fronton?

01:55:12.000 Say it again.

01:55:13.000 Fronton?

01:55:14.000 You got it right.

01:55:16.000 You're nailing it.

01:55:17.000 What was that like?

01:55:18.000 It's insane. 0.92

01:55:19.000 Florida is insane. 0.70

01:55:21.000 That's my point.

01:55:22.000 That's why I got out of there three days later.

01:55:24.000 So is the audience in the stand?

01:55:26.000 Yeah, the whole thing.

01:55:27.000 Parents, families, everything in the stand.

01:55:28.000 And then you guys are down in the arena?

01:55:29.000 We're on the...

01:55:31.000 Floor.

01:55:31.000 On the floor, on the thing, with the three walls around you.

01:55:35.000 And literally, there's like, the bedding boards are on both sides.

01:55:38.000 So it's like, the Quinella, the Tri...

01:55:40.000 You know, that's like the worst possible classic Florida.

01:55:44.000 That was Florida.

01:55:45.000 And that was Florida.

01:55:46.000 So I got out of there and then went to New York and went to NYU drama and just the boring kind of like normal...

01:55:53.000 Wow.

01:55:54.000 Yeah, and then started my stand.

01:55:55.000 A catch in the comic strip were my two clubs.

01:55:58.000 I remember those places.

01:55:59.000 Yeah, so I have recordings from those all the way up to 2015 was the last one on here.

01:56:06.000 That's badass, dude.

01:56:08.000 So it's a whole thing, yeah.

01:56:09.000 And so, yeah, I've never had a comedy album before.

01:56:13.000 Not that I want this whole thing to be about the comedy album, but that's...

01:56:16.000 Wayne and I, we should tell everybody, we met on the set of a pilot that never happened.

01:56:21.000 Remember that thing?

01:56:22.000 Absolutely, we met before then.

01:56:23.000 Well, we met before then, but we became friends on the set of that.

01:56:27.000 Right.

01:56:27.000 That thing.

01:56:28.000 That, uh, overseas.

01:56:30.000 Do you remember they did an episode of your television show?

01:56:33.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:56:34.000 Yeah.

01:56:34.000 News radio.

01:56:35.000 Yeah.

01:56:36.000 One.

01:56:37.000 And I remember something you said to me, Joe.

01:56:39.000 Rogan.

01:56:40.000 You said...

01:56:41.000 Riders on the storm.

01:56:42.000 You said...

01:56:45.000 You said you were talking about NewsRadio and you go, you know, because we were doing the pilot and you're like, you know, there's a certain kind of like special quality that happens amongst people that creates a sitcom as much as the writing.

01:57:00.000 And I just hope we can capture that.

01:57:03.000 Is that what I said?

01:57:03.000 Yeah.

01:57:04.000 You said that it was more, that a sitcom, like a successful sitcom is more than just funny jokes.

01:57:10.000 Yeah, it definitely is.

01:57:11.000 Do you agree with that?

01:57:12.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:57:13.000 Do you agree with your younger self?

01:57:15.000 Yes, I do.

01:57:16.000 Yeah, well, I was super lucky in that I got cast on news radio, and we got along.

01:57:21.000 The cast got along in a pretty incredible way.

01:57:24.000 The way we jived together.

01:57:26.000 That's what you were saying?

01:57:27.000 Yeah.

01:57:28.000 I mean, even guys that I didn't necessarily get along with that well, like Andy Dick, who was just so much work.

01:57:36.000 It was hard to get along with Andy.

01:57:37.000 But when we did get along on set, we had amazing chemistry.

01:57:42.000 Because our characters, the way we would interact with each other in scenes was great.

01:57:48.000 But then there was also, everybody on it was so good.

01:57:52.000 That was just a super fortunate...

01:57:55.000 Place to be.

01:57:56.000 But there's been good actors and bad, you know, in sitcoms that don't work.

01:57:59.000 There's bad writing, too.

01:58:01.000 Yeah.

01:58:01.000 You gotta have good writing.

01:58:03.000 You know, news radio was like, in a lot of ways, it was a perfect storm.

01:58:05.000 It was also a perfect storm in that it wasn't successful.

01:58:08.000 How many years was it on?

01:58:09.000 Five.

01:58:10.000 But it was never really successful.

01:58:11.000 At one point in time, we were number 88 in the ratings.

01:58:14.000 Did you think you were gonna...

01:58:15.000 Get cancelled, yeah.

01:58:16.000 Every year?

01:58:17.000 Every year.

01:58:17.000 The only year we didn't think we were gonna get cancelled was the year we got cancelled.

01:58:22.000 That was after Phil died.

01:58:24.000 Ah, life.

01:58:24.000 Because we came back and did a season with John Lovitz.

01:58:28.000 Right, that's the season I did.

01:58:29.000 Yeah.

01:58:30.000 We did that last season with Lovitz, and that was also the same time we were doing Overseas.

01:58:38.000 It was during the same time.

01:58:39.000 Same creator, right?

01:58:40.000 Paul.

01:58:40.000 Paul Sims, yeah.

01:58:42.000 And it just...

01:58:45.000 It just wasn't the same without Phil, for sure.

01:58:47.000 But the show wasn't owned by the right people, so it never got that juicy after Friends time slot.

01:58:55.000 There were so many shows that were terrible that went on for a long time and did really well in the ratings.

01:59:01.000 Like, do you remember Sex and the City?

01:59:02.000 Or like we used to call Sex and the Shitty?

01:59:05.000 Did you ever see that?

01:59:06.000 That's not on NBC. Not Sex and the City.

01:59:09.000 Caroline and the Shitty.

01:59:10.000 Caroline and the City.

01:59:11.000 That's the one.

01:59:13.000 They're the same thing to me. 1.00

01:59:14.000 It's a fucking chick show. 1.00

01:59:16.000 I have them in like a box in my brain, a category. 1.00

01:59:19.000 And then there was another one that was way worse, The Single Guy.

01:59:21.000 Do you remember The Single Guy?

01:59:22.000 Actually, I don't.

01:59:23.000 Oh, Jonathan Silverman.

01:59:25.000 Oh, yes.

01:59:26.000 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:59:27.000 It was like someone had...

01:59:29.000 But they got prime spots that you guys...

01:59:31.000 Oh, yeah.

01:59:31.000 They got amazing spots.

01:59:33.000 There was like number two, number three in the ratings.

01:59:35.000 They were the post-Friends.

01:59:36.000 There was Friends Seinfeld.

01:59:38.000 There was that sort of Thursday night group.

01:59:43.000 And that used to be what you needed to get on.

01:59:46.000 You need to get on that Thursday night lineup in order to have a successful sitcom.

01:59:50.000 Must see TV. Yeah.

01:59:53.000 But it was a different time then because when they moved you, no one knew where the fuck you were. 0.98

01:59:57.000 We got moved nine, eight or nine times over the period of five years. 0.99

02:00:02.000 Oh, that's horrible. 0.99

02:00:02.000 So we were on like Monday night and Sunday night and Tuesday night and we were all over the fucking place. 0.99

02:00:08.000 And one time we were on Thursday, and we were like number two.

02:00:10.000 Do you have a favorite episode that you did?

02:00:13.000 Yeah, the one we did in space.

02:00:14.000 We did a space episode. 0.59

02:00:16.000 It was ridiculous. 0.97

02:00:18.000 The writers were so goddamn good. 0.98

02:00:22.000 And it really spoiled me. 0.90

02:00:25.000 That's probably one of the reasons why I never did a sitcom after that, because they were so good.

02:00:29.000 Did you ever guest on a sitcom?

02:00:31.000 Yeah, I guested on...

02:00:33.000 I thought you did something, right?

02:00:35.000 Yeah, I did...

02:00:37.000 What was the David Spade one?

02:00:39.000 Were they... 0.99

02:00:40.000 Oh, Just Shoot Me. 1.00

02:00:41.000 Just Shoot Me, yeah. 0.99

02:00:42.000 I did an episode of that.

02:00:44.000 I did an episode of a couple ones.

02:00:45.000 What was the difference between being on the show, cast regular, and guest starring?

02:00:51.000 Did you like it?

02:00:53.000 Well, you know, obviously the comfort level.

02:00:55.000 You know, when you're on a set and you're there all the time, and you know the makeup lady and the sound guys and the cameramen are all the same folks, and you become friends with them.

02:01:05.000 You know, there's a comfort level there.

02:01:08.000 But...

02:01:10.000 Just Shoot Me, with all due respect, wasn't as good.

02:01:13.000 Wasn't as funny, you know?

02:01:15.000 For you.

02:01:16.000 For me, yeah.

02:01:17.000 There was something about news radio that was just really special.

02:01:21.000 It was a lot of it.

02:01:21.000 Dave Foley was a big part of it, too.

02:01:23.000 Because Dave Foley, that's the space episode.

02:01:25.000 We did a whole episode where we were in space.

02:01:29.000 It was amazing.

02:01:30.000 Dave Foley was almost like the secret producer of that show.

02:01:33.000 The writers were so smart that they gave him, pretty much everybody, artistic license to try out new ideas.

02:01:43.000 And because of the fact that Dave was one of the guys from Kids in the Hall, was such a brilliant writer, just a brilliant guy, very fucking smart guy...

02:01:52.000 Has he been on your show?

02:01:53.000 Yeah, he's been on.

02:01:55.000 He told some of the most depressing stories about divorce.

02:01:59.000 Good lord. 0.99

02:02:00.000 You want to talk about a man who's been fucking kneed in the balls over and over again through divorce. 1.00

02:02:06.000 It is horrible, man. 1.00

02:02:08.000 Horrible what they did to him.

02:02:11.000 I know.

02:02:11.000 It's really sad.

02:02:12.000 But he's finally, I think, coming through it.

02:02:15.000 Well, he's on a successful show now with Dr. Ken.

02:02:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:02:21.000 What is that show called?

02:02:23.000 Doctor.

02:02:23.000 Dr. Ken?

02:02:24.000 Doctor?

02:02:25.000 Yeah.

02:02:25.000 But it's doing well, right?

02:02:27.000 Isn't that sitcom doing well?

02:02:28.000 I think it's...

02:02:29.000 I think...

02:02:31.000 I think it's holding on.

02:02:32.000 It's holding on.

02:02:33.000 Did it get canceled?

02:02:36.000 Renewed.

02:02:37.000 Renewed.

02:02:38.000 Well, good, because he owes about a half million bucks or he can't get to Canada.

02:02:41.000 If Dave doesn't go to Canada, I mean, if Dave doesn't pay up.

02:02:45.000 His alimony and child support are...

02:02:48.000 Off the charts.

02:02:49.000 Because it was based on the money that he was making during news radio.

02:02:53.000 Right.

02:02:53.000 And then that was the most money he'd ever made in his life and never came close to it ever since.

02:02:57.000 And it didn't matter.

02:02:58.000 The doctor said to him, it was one of the most depressing things about the podcast, your ability to pay has no relation to your obligation to pay.

02:03:08.000 So the doctor was like, look, you established a lifestyle.

02:03:10.000 Wait, why are you saying doctor?

02:03:12.000 The doctor.

02:03:13.000 I said doctor.

02:03:14.000 Did he say doctor?

02:03:15.000 I did.

02:03:15.000 The judge.

02:03:16.000 Which is happening?

02:03:17.000 It's a judge.

02:03:18.000 Some suit character.

02:03:19.000 Some official.

02:03:20.000 No, I mean, did you just have a brain aneurysm?

02:03:22.000 No, I just forgot what I was talking about.

02:03:24.000 Are you alright?

02:03:25.000 I'm fine.

02:03:25.000 Do we need to take a break?

02:03:26.000 Are you trying to interrupt what I'm trying to say for no reason whatsoever than get your own rocks off?

02:03:30.000 The judge told him that, and he was just devastated.

02:03:35.000 And in a lot of ways, I don't think he ever recovered from that.

02:03:38.000 When you find out that a doctor, I mean a judge, is doing that to you, and the system is so bad and so poorly constructed, go live!

02:03:49.000 I mean, we're already live.

02:03:53.000 Have you been married?

02:03:54.000 No.

02:03:55.000 Would you be?

02:03:56.000 Would you do it?

02:03:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:03:57.000 You would do it?

02:03:57.000 Definitely, definitely.

02:03:58.000 Putting that signal out there to the ladies, let them know, are you ready? 0.97

02:04:00.000 Yeah.

02:04:01.000 It's time.

02:04:01.000 Yeah, it's time.

02:04:02.000 Believe me, it's almost past time. 0.99

02:04:04.000 I feel like I'm, you know, that shit, but yeah. 0.99

02:04:07.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:04:07.000 Of having a family, I don't know. 0.99

02:04:10.000 Yeah.

02:04:10.000 Hold on, hold on, hold on.

02:04:11.000 We don't.

02:04:12.000 No, I just got a cramp in my leg.

02:04:14.000 Yeah, it's over.

02:04:16.000 Just talking about marriage.

02:04:17.000 Marriage gave you a cramp.

02:04:19.000 Just talking about it.

02:04:20.000 Just talking about making a commitment to a woman. 0.97

02:04:23.000 Well, it's also the Canadian system is pretty brutal.

02:04:26.000 Canada is very different than the United States.

02:04:29.000 And they just...

02:04:31.000 Oh! 0.60

02:04:33.000 Keep talking.

02:04:34.000 I forgot I wanted to ask you about something.

02:04:37.000 Okay.

02:04:37.000 Just hit me.

02:04:39.000 Do you want to keep talking about Foley?

02:04:40.000 We can.

02:04:40.000 No.

02:04:41.000 Okay.

02:04:42.000 Okay.

02:04:43.000 There's this girl, I was trying to date her, she's not interested in me, but has gone to the Amazon and done ayahuasca.

02:04:52.000 And she said that you, I don't know if she learned about it from you, Or you were advocating for it, but she went down there a couple times and then did it not in the Amazon.

02:05:06.000 How many times have you done it?

02:05:08.000 I haven't done ayahuasca.

02:05:10.000 What I've done is DMT, which is the active compound in ayahuasca.

02:05:13.000 Oh, okay.

02:05:14.000 What ayahuasca is, here's what ayahuasca is.

02:05:17.000 The Amazon indigenous people figured out a way to make DMT orally active.

02:05:23.000 Right.

02:05:23.000 See, DMT is broken down in your gut by something called monoamine oxidase.

02:05:28.000 All of this makes sense.

02:05:29.000 So when you eat it, that's why when you eat a lot of grasses and different plants, you don't get high off the DMT in it because it gets broken down in your gut.

02:05:37.000 Well, so what they figured out is a way to combine the leaves of one plant, which contain the DMT, and the...

02:05:44.000 What is it?

02:05:45.000 The leaves of the one...

02:05:46.000 Like a triggering agent?

02:05:47.000 No, it's an MAO inhibitor.

02:05:49.000 And so this combination of the two plants, one that contains DMT and one that suppresses monoamine oxidase in your gut, allows you to experience dimethyltryptamine orally.

02:06:01.000 So it's a long DMT trip.

02:06:04.000 What I've done is smoke it, which is way more intense, but way shorter lasting.

02:06:09.000 When was the last time you did something?

02:06:10.000 A year ago.

02:06:11.000 A year ago?

02:06:12.000 Yeah.

02:06:14.000 All right, all right.

02:06:15.000 Because you know me, we've known each other 20-some years.

02:06:18.000 I'm not like a pot smoker.

02:06:20.000 Don't really drink at all.

02:06:24.000 But I'm a drug experimenter.

02:06:26.000 Like, I've done...

02:06:27.000 Mushrooms?

02:06:29.000 Yes.

02:06:29.000 That's my favorite drug.

02:06:30.000 It's a great drug.

02:06:31.000 Well, mushrooms are very similar...

02:06:33.000 They are.

02:06:33.000 ...in their reaction, especially at high doses, to DMT. And in fact, they're very similar as far as the compound themselves.

02:06:44.000 I think the way it's expressed in the body...

02:06:48.000 DMT is N-n-dimethyltryptamine, and when psilocybin is broken down in the body, it produces something called 4-fox-4-aloxy-N-n-dimethyltryptamine.

02:06:57.000 All of this, I'm kind of like glazing over.

02:07:00.000 I'm just saying, they're really closely related.

02:07:02.000 They are.

02:07:04.000 Psychedelic drugs are very closely related to basic human neurochemistry.

02:07:09.000 And DMT is human neurochemistry.

02:07:12.000 It is actually the most potent psychedelic drug known to man, and it's actually produced by your body.

02:07:17.000 It's produced in your liver, it's produced in your lungs, and it's produced in your pineal gland.

02:07:21.000 Okay, let me ask you a question.

02:07:22.000 When you smoke the DMT, how many times have you done it?

02:07:25.000 Nine times?

02:07:26.000 Nine.

02:07:27.000 Will there be a ten?

02:07:28.000 Yes.

02:07:29.000 Today, with Wayne?

02:07:31.000 Well, I don't have it here, but if I did, if you really wanted to go, we could do it.

02:07:36.000 What?

02:07:37.000 You would?

02:07:38.000 I'm ready to do it again.

02:07:39.000 I think I usually need some time after I do it to sit back and think about it and absorb it and take it in.

02:07:46.000 Do you feel like it helped your stand-up at all?

02:07:49.000 100%.

02:07:49.000 It helps everything in my life.

02:07:51.000 Was there any downside?

02:07:53.000 Yeah.

02:07:54.000 Yeah, you get...

02:07:56.000 There's a real anxiety that happened to me once after it was over.

02:08:01.000 I did one trip where it was incredibly intense, and...

02:08:07.000 I wouldn't say overdose.

02:08:08.000 You don't overdose because it's a natural part of your brain.

02:08:12.000 Your brain knows how to bring it back to baseline very quickly.

02:08:15.000 It's like one of the most transient drugs ever observed in the body. 1.00

02:08:17.000 You go from being blasted out of your fucking mind to completely sober in 20 minutes. 1.00

02:08:25.000 Alright. 1.00

02:08:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:08:26.000 How would you...

02:08:27.000 But then you just dive back in.

02:08:29.000 The last time I did it, we did it like four or five times, so I was pretty gonzo for about an hour and a half or so, somewhere around there.

02:08:40.000 We would go in, come out, go back in again.

02:08:43.000 In the meantime, the whole time this is going on, we're playing this South American music, these Icaros, which these shamans have created to sort of coax the experience.

02:08:53.000 Do I need a shaman to do this?

02:08:55.000 No, you don't need a shaman.

02:08:56.000 If you're going to do DMT, there's...

02:08:58.000 Wayne Fetterman.

02:08:59.000 Just Wayne.

02:09:00.000 Again, you know me.

02:09:01.000 I'm kind of a...

02:09:01.000 You know, I'm not an edgy guy, really.

02:09:05.000 Okay.

02:09:06.000 What would you recommend?

02:09:07.000 How would you recommend I do it?

02:09:08.000 Have you ever smoked crack?

02:09:09.000 No.

02:09:10.000 Would you?

02:09:11.000 No.

02:09:11.000 With Wayne?

02:09:12.000 No.

02:09:12.000 What if I did this face?

02:09:14.000 No.

02:09:15.000 I'm no interested in crack.

02:09:17.000 I don't have any interest in even cocaine.

02:09:19.000 Have you done it?

02:09:20.000 No.

02:09:21.000 Oh.

02:09:21.000 No, I don't have any interest in stimulants.

02:09:23.000 I'm not interested in anything that gives me confidence.

02:09:26.000 I'm not interested in any false sense of bravado and getting boosted up.

02:09:31.000 I'm not interested in that.

02:09:31.000 Okay, okay.

02:09:32.000 I feel like amphetamines and speed, what they do is they remove inhibitions in a way that gets you in a lot of trouble.

02:09:40.000 What about drinking?

02:09:42.000 I like drinking.

02:09:43.000 Even though that's a barbiturate, right?

02:09:45.000 A barbiturate?

02:09:46.000 Drinking is a downer, right?

02:09:48.000 That's not a barbiturate, though.

02:09:49.000 Like, isn't a barbiturate a specific class of drugs?

02:09:52.000 Is alcohol barbiturate?

02:09:54.000 I don't think barbiturate is a very specific class of downer, isn't it?

02:09:58.000 We're going to find out.

02:09:59.000 That was...

02:10:00.000 When I was...

02:10:00.000 I'm not ex.

02:10:02.000 I don't drink, really, but as...

02:10:04.000 There's a rule.

02:10:05.000 Barbiturates, overdose, central nervous system, depressants, alcohol, opiates.

02:10:11.000 Okay, so that's what they're saying?

02:10:12.000 Is it an overdose?

02:10:14.000 No, I'm not talking about that one.

02:10:15.000 I'm just saying that I feel like alcohol.

02:10:16.000 Barbiturates in overdose with other central nervous system depressions.

02:10:20.000 No, that's not what it's saying.

02:10:21.000 So it's not saying...

02:10:23.000 So it's different.

02:10:24.000 They're saying it is different.

02:10:25.000 I'm just saying, is alcohol a barbiturate?

02:10:29.000 No.

02:10:30.000 It said it shouldn't be mixed with alcohol.

02:10:32.000 Barbiturate should not be mixed with alcohol.

02:10:34.000 Is alcohol a drug or antidepressant or barbiturate or all the above? 0.99

02:10:39.000 What the fuck kind of question is that?

02:10:43.000 Yeah, it's not the same thing. 0.99

02:10:45.000 It's a depressant.

02:10:46.000 But that meant it's not a stimulant.

02:10:48.000 No, it's not a stimulant.

02:10:49.000 But it does loosen inhibitions.

02:10:51.000 For me, you should see me with the women when I'm drinking. 0.99

02:10:55.000 Oh yeah?

02:10:55.000 What happens?

02:10:56.000 Way more...

02:10:58.000 Better?

02:11:00.000 Better is the word.

02:11:01.000 Are you fun?

02:11:03.000 Hopefully, I'm fun no matter what.

02:11:06.000 No matter what the scenario.

02:11:07.000 But I will feel like I'm a little more sexually aggressive when I'm on out.

02:11:11.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:11:12.000 Jesus, settle down. 1.00

02:11:13.000 I know. 0.94

02:11:13.000 You little rapey? 0.94

02:11:14.000 Did you get a little rapey? 0.97

02:11:15.000 I wouldn't use the word.

02:11:17.000 We can use that descriptor, but yeah, I feel...

02:11:21.000 You drink beer, right?

02:11:23.000 I drink, yeah.

02:11:24.000 I like to drink.

02:11:26.000 I only drink to get drunk.

02:11:27.000 Really?

02:11:28.000 That's my style.

02:11:29.000 Yeah.

02:11:29.000 So I don't ever casually...

02:11:30.000 You never see me...

02:11:31.000 You don't drink a glass of wine with dinner?

02:11:33.000 No?

02:11:33.000 Never.

02:11:34.000 Oh, really?

02:11:34.000 That's what I enjoy the most.

02:11:35.000 Never.

02:11:36.000 Never like, oh, what is this, meat?

02:11:37.000 I'm going to have the red.

02:11:39.000 What is this, a piece of fish?

02:11:40.000 The white.

02:11:41.000 Oh, that's the other one, yeah.

02:11:43.000 No, I drink way more one drink with dinner than anything else.

02:11:49.000 What do you get from it?

02:11:50.000 I like a glass of wine.

02:11:51.000 I enjoy the taste.

02:11:52.000 If there was no alcohol in it, you think you'd enjoy the taste?

02:11:55.000 I have like really low alcohol wine that doesn't do anything for me.

02:11:59.000 Oh, okay, so you like that.

02:12:00.000 Do you like doing this?

02:12:02.000 Paleo wine.

02:12:03.000 No, I'm not a freak about it.

02:12:04.000 I don't know enough.

02:12:05.000 I like the way it smells, though.

02:12:06.000 I like the way it tastes.

02:12:07.000 I like to sip it with dinner.

02:12:09.000 I like a nice wine with dinner.

02:12:11.000 But I like a little buzz, too.

02:12:12.000 I go like a couple of glasses is nice.

02:12:14.000 But I don't...

02:12:15.000 Yeah, again, I'm as far from judging as possible.

02:12:19.000 I'm just curious.

02:12:20.000 No, I'm not defensive.

02:12:22.000 Yeah.

02:12:23.000 But, uh...

02:12:24.000 So, alcohol is a depressant.

02:12:27.000 That's what I just meant.

02:12:28.000 It's like a barbiturate.

02:12:29.000 It's not a stamina.

02:12:31.000 But it does allow me to get, what's your word?

02:12:36.000 Confident. 0.80

02:12:36.000 Raping. 0.80

02:12:37.000 Well, you might have confidence issues a little bit.

02:12:40.000 Sure.

02:12:41.000 Really?

02:12:42.000 Stand-up comedian?

02:12:43.000 Yeah.

02:12:44.000 Is there a comedian asking for approval from strangers?

02:12:47.000 Might have confidence?

02:12:47.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:12:48.000 That's interesting insight.

02:12:49.000 Let me think about that.

02:12:50.000 I go on deep end.

02:12:51.000 I take chances.

02:12:52.000 I go out on a limb.

02:12:54.000 So that's probably why you like it, because it alleviates some of that anxiety.

02:12:58.000 Well, there's things that happen in psychedelic drugs that make you more vulnerable.

02:13:03.000 Oh.

02:13:03.000 You know, they make you more aware.

02:13:05.000 Well, I've done the mushrooms.

02:13:05.000 Have you done Molly?

02:13:07.000 Yes.

02:13:08.000 What do you think of that thing?

02:13:09.000 Well, I've done MDMA, which is Molly.

02:13:11.000 You know, same thing.

02:13:13.000 The after effects were way too brutal for me.

02:13:17.000 The post-trip, the trip was wonderful.

02:13:21.000 The trip was amazing, and I got some pretty deep insight about the nature of insecurities and how they manifest itself in social situations and conversations.

02:13:29.000 But the next day, I couldn't read.

02:13:35.000 I remember I was at a coffee shop, and I was trying to read a magazine. 0.97

02:13:38.000 I was like, I can't even fucking read. 0.93

02:13:40.000 Couldn't concentrate. 0.97

02:13:41.000 Yeah.

02:13:42.000 And then I found out about, that's before I found out about HTP, 5-HTP, 5-HTP, which converts to serotonin.

02:13:49.000 One of the things is serotonin depletion because of when you do MDMA, what's happening is you get this massive blast of serotonin.

02:13:57.000 You feel amazing, right?

02:13:58.000 Right. 1.00

02:13:59.000 Well, after it's over, that shit crashes and your body's depleted. 1.00

02:14:03.000 You feel like a dry sponge, like you don't feel good. 1.00

02:14:05.000 To me, at least.

02:14:06.000 A dry sponge that can't read.

02:14:08.000 Yeah, my brain wasn't firing.

02:14:10.000 It just wasn't working well.

02:14:12.000 Did that scare you?

02:14:13.000 No, I just didn't like it.

02:14:14.000 Didn't like the feeling.

02:14:15.000 And it took at least a day or so for it to rebound.

02:14:19.000 Okay.

02:14:19.000 And I was like, not worth it.

02:14:20.000 You're probably not going to do that again.

02:14:22.000 No.

02:14:22.000 No, I don't think so.

02:14:23.000 Not worth it.

02:14:25.000 The next day is just not worth it to me.

02:14:27.000 Okay.

02:14:27.000 And I've heard from some people that, oh, if you get the pure stuff, it doesn't do it.

02:14:32.000 But the people that I've heard that from are all in poor health.

02:14:36.000 They're not healthy.

02:14:38.000 Not the person you want to...

02:14:39.000 Yeah.

02:14:39.000 The people that I've talked to that are healthy say there's always a price you pay.

02:14:45.000 For the molly.

02:14:46.000 Yeah.

02:14:47.000 There's not a price you pay for mushrooms.

02:14:49.000 I've never felt a physical price for mushrooms.

02:14:51.000 There's zero physical price you pay for DMT. None.

02:14:54.000 Zero.

02:14:55.000 Some people have an issue with ayahuasca because you purge.

02:14:58.000 You do a lot of throwing up and a lot of diarrhea.

02:15:00.000 That's why I'm not doing it.

02:15:02.000 That's it?

02:15:02.000 Well, that's one of the reasons.

02:15:04.000 I mean, again, I'm a drug experimenter.

02:15:06.000 I know everyone says that as a euphemism for I'm a drug user, but I'm actually just like...

02:15:11.000 On the right circumstances, I will do a drug, even though it's not part of my life in any way.

02:15:17.000 But I don't like throwing up.

02:15:20.000 What do you think?

02:15:21.000 Is that psychological? 0.94

02:15:23.000 No, the stuff is disgusting. 1.00

02:15:24.000 Everybody that tells me they've tried ayahuasca says it's fucking disgusting. 0.99

02:15:28.000 I don't want to go to the jungle. 0.99

02:15:30.000 And I mean, I'm sure I could do it around here, but I'm not into bugs and snakes and jaguars and all that shit. 1.00

02:15:35.000 You can go fuck yourself. 1.00

02:15:35.000 I'm not going to that fucking rainforest. 1.00

02:15:38.000 But people have had these amazing experiences because they do it in the rainforest, and that's where it's from. 0.99

02:15:43.000 See, I'm also...

02:15:44.000 I hate to say this, and this is going to sound prejudiced, but I'm kind of...

02:15:49.000 You don't like brown people?

02:15:52.000 That would sound...

02:15:53.000 That could sound prejudiced.

02:15:55.000 I'm sort of anti-shaman. 0.95

02:15:58.000 Well, there's a good reason to be because shamans are a lot like yogis. 1.00

02:16:03.000 Like, there's a lot of yogis that are really just douchebags that are trying to fuck women that are in their classes, right? 0.99

02:16:10.000 There's a lot of shaman that are like that, too, for sure. 1.00

02:16:13.000 Thank you.

02:16:13.000 I feel like I have a pretty good radar about people.

02:16:15.000 Yeah, no, that makes sense.

02:16:16.000 Okay, thank you.

02:16:17.000 The type of people that want to be a shaman, boy, who knows?

02:16:20.000 Who knows what you're going to get there?

02:16:21.000 Could you imagine?

02:16:23.000 There was a friend of mine that was a shaman that used to do these rituals with MMA fighters.

02:16:26.000 It's on his resume.

02:16:26.000 On his resume.

02:16:27.000 No, but he would guide them and these people through these ayahuasca rituals, and he wanted to do it with me, and he died.

02:16:35.000 I would definitely do ayahuasca.

02:16:38.000 And what ayahuasca is, is just a less intense, longer lasting version of a DMT trip.

02:16:44.000 But the DMT trip...

02:16:46.000 Now I'm more interested in DMT. Well, DMT is ayahuasca.

02:16:49.000 Well, you don't throw up.

02:16:51.000 No, you don't throw up because you're smoking it.

02:16:53.000 You're smoking it and it goes directly to your bloodstream.

02:16:56.000 So it happens instantaneously.

02:16:58.000 How many puffs do you have to...

02:16:59.000 Three big hits.

02:17:01.000 A hit, not even a puff.

02:17:03.000 Three is the magic number...

02:17:05.000 Do you hold it in?

02:17:06.000 No, you take big hits.

02:17:07.000 Hit it again.

02:17:15.000 And then at the second one, reality starts getting real fragile.

02:17:19.000 You start seeing things pixelate around you, but you've got to go one more time, one more time, one more time.

02:17:28.000 Put the pipe down, lay down.

02:17:35.000 And then it just overcomes you.

02:17:37.000 You go through the flower of life and enter into this massive, infinite, geometric pattern that's made out of love and understanding and you communicate with God.

02:17:49.000 And that's your definition of a good trip?

02:17:50.000 It's pretty intense.

02:17:52.000 It can be terrifying to some people.

02:17:54.000 It definitely is terrifying if you try to control it and manipulate it, because then you're going to be in a wrestling match with your emotions and your mind.

02:18:02.000 You have to be able to let go.

02:18:03.000 It's one of the most difficult things with any really intense breakthrough.

02:18:07.000 That sounds interesting to me, though.

02:18:08.000 Psychedelic experience.

02:18:09.000 You've got to be willing to let go.

02:18:10.000 How would you compare it to, because I've only done mushrooms...

02:18:12.000 Well, you say you've done mushrooms.

02:18:14.000 When you say you've done mushrooms, what kind of dose are you talking about?

02:18:18.000 Well, I hate the taste of it, so I put it in a Big Mac and I ate it.

02:18:23.000 Oh, God.

02:18:24.000 That might be the worst way to take mushrooms I've ever heard.

02:18:29.000 You put it in a Big Mac? 1.00

02:18:30.000 A fucking Big Mac? 1.00

02:18:32.000 Yeah, have you ever had one of those? 1.00

02:18:33.000 No.

02:18:34.000 McDonald's?

02:18:35.000 Yeah, but why would you do that?

02:18:36.000 Why would you put mushrooms in a Big Mac?

02:18:38.000 Because I love Big Macs.

02:18:41.000 Are you judging Big Macs now?

02:18:43.000 It's so bad for you. 1.00

02:18:44.000 It's factory farm, those fucking tortured cows. 1.00

02:18:46.000 Right, I get it. 1.00

02:18:47.000 You're taking them in with the mother Gaia.

02:18:50.000 Wow.

02:18:51.000 Well, maybe it's just that was my experience.

02:18:53.000 How many times have you done mushrooms?

02:18:54.000 Okay, what if I said an In-N-Out burger?

02:18:56.000 Would that be better?

02:18:57.000 Not really.

02:18:59.000 Really?

02:18:59.000 They're much more delicious.

02:19:00.000 What about from the counter?

02:19:01.000 What if I get our cheeseburger from the counter?

02:19:03.000 Brought it home.

02:19:04.000 Because what I did, I kind of sprinkled it.

02:19:06.000 You're not even supposed to eat meat for days before you do mushrooms.

02:19:09.000 That's not true.

02:19:10.000 It is.

02:19:11.000 What kind of rule is that?

02:19:13.000 The people that want to get the most out of the experience recommend that you have a vegetable-only diet for at least 24 hours before you do any intense psychedelic.

02:19:26.000 Let me ask you a question.

02:19:26.000 Let's say I'm eating just salads.

02:19:28.000 Am I allowed to have Thousand Island dressing?

02:19:30.000 Good question.

02:19:30.000 That's my favorite dressing.

02:19:31.000 A lot of sugar in that.

02:19:32.000 Yeah, I know.

02:19:32.000 I would say avoid sugar.

02:19:34.000 I would say avoid sugar.

02:19:35.000 So just like a vinaigrette?

02:19:36.000 Avoid toxins. 1.00

02:19:38.000 Avoid nasty shit. 1.00

02:19:39.000 Oil and vinegar. 1.00

02:19:40.000 You see what I'm drinking.

02:19:41.000 You see what I'm drinking.

02:19:42.000 Coca-Cola.

02:19:42.000 Yeah.

02:19:42.000 It's not good for you.

02:19:43.000 The greatest thing a man ever invented.

02:19:45.000 It's good when you mix it with Jack Daniels and some ice.

02:19:48.000 I'll suddenly nuts.

02:19:50.000 But I want to know what kind of dose you're taking.

02:19:53.000 I don't know.

02:19:54.000 You say you've done mushrooms.

02:19:55.000 Open your hand up and show me how many mushrooms you're talking about.

02:19:58.000 I would say fit like in here.

02:20:00.000 Oh, you're not doing anything.

02:20:01.000 You're having baby doses.

02:20:03.000 So you're not even experiencing a dissolving of reality?

02:20:07.000 No.

02:20:08.000 I was just trying to have a good time.

02:20:09.000 LAUGHTER Yeah.

02:20:12.000 That wasn't my goal.

02:20:14.000 The real mushroom trips only come after you get a few drinks.

02:20:19.000 Say it again.

02:20:20.000 What do you mean?

02:20:21.000 Dissolving a reality.

02:20:22.000 That's the goal of being on mushrooms?

02:20:25.000 Not like, oh, I'm going to see Aerosmith at the Hollywood Bowl?

02:20:28.000 Well, you could do that.

02:20:29.000 There's nothing wrong with that.

02:20:30.000 There's nothing wrong with that.

02:20:31.000 But what I'm saying, if you want something that's commensurate with a DMT experience, you're going to have to take five grams.

02:20:36.000 You're going to have to take a large dose.

02:20:38.000 But it seemed like there was part of the mushroom that was like potent and other was just like little sticks and twigs.

02:20:43.000 You need five grams of the potent stuff.

02:20:45.000 You need the real deal.

02:20:47.000 Okay.

02:20:48.000 I didn't weigh it.

02:20:49.000 I literally didn't weigh it out.

02:20:50.000 I mean, look, you could, depending upon the potency of the mushroom.

02:20:55.000 Can you eat it?

02:20:55.000 How did you eat?

02:20:55.000 How do you eat the mushrooms?

02:20:57.000 You just fucking eat them, man. 1.00

02:20:59.000 Like chew them? 1.00

02:20:59.000 Yeah, you eat them. 1.00

02:21:02.000 You're saying this like this is so alien.

02:21:04.000 Well, I just found the taste so horrific.

02:21:07.000 That's why I hid it into a delicious Big Mac.

02:21:10.000 And the next time I did it, this is what I did.

02:21:12.000 They're almost tasteless.

02:21:13.000 They don't taste horrible at all.

02:21:16.000 You've got to be kidding me.

02:21:17.000 No!

02:21:18.000 Like, literally, if we go on the internet right now and put up the taste of mushrooms, everyone's going to say it's tasteless?

02:21:25.000 If we go to PussiesRUs.com... 0.68

02:21:27.000 Oh, that's my website.

02:21:28.000 ...and we look...

02:21:31.000 I'm driving traffic to my website.

02:21:33.000 I've never had a problem with the taste.

02:21:35.000 No one's ever.

02:21:35.000 They're not that bad.

02:21:36.000 Wait a minute.

02:21:36.000 I'm sure some people don't like the taste.

02:21:39.000 I've never heard the word horrific.

02:21:40.000 What did you say about me earlier today?

02:21:41.000 I'm sensitive.

02:21:42.000 You're a little bit sensitive.

02:21:43.000 I'm a little bit sensitive. 0.99

02:21:44.000 Pussies are us. 0.99

02:21:45.000 Does that hurt? 1.00

02:21:45.000 Did that hurt you? 1.00

02:21:46.000 No, not at all.

02:21:47.000 It's great.

02:21:48.000 It's branded.

02:21:49.000 I branded it. 0.95

02:21:51.000 What happens if you go to Pussy's R Us? 0.99

02:21:53.000 It's gotta be a porn site, right? 1.00

02:21:54.000 It's probably just like gaping fucking people throwing quarters down their hole. 1.00

02:21:59.000 So... 1.00

02:21:59.000 Alright. 1.00

02:22:00.000 Alright.

02:22:01.000 Okay, so...

02:22:03.000 I can't believe, because everyone I've ever spoken to, with the exception of a guy named Joe Rogan, has talked about how horrible mushrooms taste.

02:22:12.000 They don't taste bad.

02:22:13.000 Every person.

02:22:14.000 I understand that.

02:22:15.000 I believe you.

02:22:16.000 But I've never found them to taste bad.

02:22:19.000 They just taste...

02:22:20.000 They kind of taste like cardboard or something, or plasticky.

02:22:24.000 They don't taste like much.

02:22:25.000 I mean, they got...

02:22:26.000 I had mushrooms...

02:22:28.000 Three or four months ago?

02:22:29.000 They didn't taste that bad.

02:22:31.000 Okay, we're gonna...

02:22:32.000 Well...

02:22:32.000 I mean, it's okay.

02:22:33.000 I mean, it's not something I would look forward to.

02:22:35.000 It's not like pistachios.

02:22:37.000 I go, ooh, let me take some of these.

02:22:39.000 But not that bad.

02:22:41.000 Okay, all right.

02:22:42.000 Not big a deal.

02:22:44.000 We'll let that lie.

02:22:45.000 We'll let that lie.

02:22:46.000 I do think you're wrong about that.

02:22:48.000 I just want to get the last word.

02:22:49.000 Well, it's not a wrong thing.

02:22:50.000 There's probably some things that you enjoy that I don't like.

02:22:53.000 Obviously.

02:22:54.000 Right?

02:22:54.000 How do you feel about gefilte fish?

02:22:57.000 Of all the things that were going to come out of your mouth, that was one of the last things.

02:23:01.000 I can eat it.

02:23:02.000 It's not great.

02:23:03.000 Okay, I agree with that.

02:23:05.000 I can eat it.

02:23:06.000 The least favorite part is the jelly part.

02:23:09.000 I get rid of that, but the actual fish I can deal with. 0.82

02:23:11.000 There's a fermented shark that people eat in Iceland that is supposed to be fucking horrific for anyone else other than the people that live in Iceland. 0.93

02:23:20.000 It was one of the few things that Anthony Bourdain told me that was truly disgusting. 0.75

02:23:27.000 That he ate on his show when he used to travel and go to these different places and try their local cuisine.

02:23:34.000 Fermented shark. 0.99

02:23:36.000 Supposed to be fucking awful. 0.99

02:23:37.000 But they enjoy it. 1.00

02:23:40.000 Regional.

02:23:41.000 You're saying there's regionalisms when it comes to taste?

02:23:43.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:23:44.000 Yeah.

02:23:45.000 Okay, now I'm not going to talk about my diet, because you're going to hate it.

02:23:48.000 You're going to hate it.

02:23:48.000 Why?

02:23:49.000 What do you do?

02:23:49.000 What do you eat?

02:23:50.000 What do you think?

02:23:51.000 Big Macs?

02:23:51.000 It's all Big Macs?

02:23:52.000 It's not all Big Macs, but I... A lot of shitty food? 0.99

02:23:54.000 A lot of shitty... 0.98

02:23:55.000 What you would consider shitty food, I think you're overreacting to it. 0.98

02:23:58.000 You think I'm overreacting? 0.97

02:24:00.000 Well, what is shitty food then, if that's not shitty food?

02:24:03.000 I feel like if people during the Depression could get a 99-cent cheeseburger when people were so poor that they couldn't even afford meat, like maybe meat once a month, and that was the worst of it, some brisket thing, 0.84

02:24:19.000 the people would be like, they would have thought it was the greatest thing on earth.

02:24:23.000 And I think these cheeseburgers that we get, be it the quarter pounder with cheese, be it the double-double it in and out, be it the...

02:24:32.000 Like, they're pretty good.

02:24:33.000 I think they're pretty good food.

02:24:34.000 I know they're factory farmed.

02:24:36.000 I get it.

02:24:37.000 I get it.

02:24:39.000 It seems horrible.

02:24:40.000 Right.

02:24:41.000 I'll re-ask the question.

02:24:42.000 What is bad, then?

02:24:44.000 If that's not bad food.

02:24:45.000 What is bad food?

02:24:46.000 Yeah.

02:24:47.000 What's bad food for you?

02:24:48.000 I would say food that has gone rotten.

02:24:52.000 It just has to be rotten.

02:24:54.000 Spoiled milk?

02:24:54.000 It has to be, like, literally poisonous and rotting for you to think it's bad food.

02:25:00.000 Yes.

02:25:01.000 That's a good question.

02:25:02.000 No one's asked me that, by the way.

02:25:03.000 So you're not necessarily what I would consider health conscious.

02:25:06.000 I am super health conscious.

02:25:07.000 I just believe the negative...

02:25:12.000 What's the word for it?

02:25:14.000 The negativity...

02:25:15.000 Are overblown by people that...

02:25:19.000 By people.

02:25:20.000 The negative repercussions of eating cheeseburgers?

02:25:23.000 Eating cheeseburgers or pizza or something like that.

02:25:26.000 Having a pizza or going to...

02:25:28.000 You know, getting a...

02:25:31.000 Okay, forget about the rotten stuff.

02:25:33.000 What you're talking about is literally the worst aspects of the American diet other than sugar.

02:25:38.000 I know!

02:25:39.000 I've read that book.

02:25:40.000 So you're drinking sugar.

02:25:41.000 I don't know what book you're talking about, but you're drinking a can of sugar that has, I want to say, 40 grams of sugar per can.

02:25:49.000 How many grams?

02:25:50.000 Not even close.

02:25:51.000 39. Again, exaggerated.

02:25:54.000 This is the point I'm trying to make, Joe.

02:25:57.000 Not even close. 1.00

02:26:01.000 That's a lot of fucking sugar, man. 1.00

02:26:03.000 You're only supposed to eat 25 a day. 1.00

02:26:05.000 A day?

02:26:06.000 Yeah, 25 grams.

02:26:07.000 Who says that?

02:26:09.000 Yeah, that's on there.

02:26:10.000 Zero grams of protein, though.

02:26:11.000 That's nice.

02:26:12.000 How much fat in here?

02:26:13.000 How much fat in here?

02:26:13.000 It doesn't have to have any fat.

02:26:14.000 Zero.

02:26:15.000 It converts to fat.

02:26:16.000 Zero.

02:26:16.000 It doesn't matter.

02:26:17.000 Protein.

02:26:18.000 It's going to go right to your gut, all that sugar.

02:26:22.000 Insulin spike, from what you understand?

02:26:24.000 From what I understand, when you gain weight, it doesn't go to one place.

02:26:28.000 It goes all over.

02:26:28.000 That way you can't spot reduce.

02:26:30.000 I think I'm correct on that.

02:26:32.000 Yeah, but some people have an inclination to gain more gut fat.

02:26:35.000 Some people gain it in unfortunate areas.

02:26:38.000 I do. 1.00

02:26:39.000 Like their ass. 1.00

02:26:40.000 Some people, it goes right to their ass. 1.00

02:26:42.000 I mean, there's no consensus. 1.00

02:26:45.000 Right.

02:26:46.000 No, no, believe me, you're not the only one that is not happy with my diet.

02:26:51.000 Who else isn't happy with your diet?

02:26:53.000 You know, people who are well-read.

02:26:55.000 People who understand diet?

02:26:57.000 People who are dieticians, doctors, all of you.

02:27:01.000 So all this stuff, when you're talking about like pizza and cheeseburgers and sugar, that's the things that people have a problem with.

02:27:08.000 Have you ever had Chinese food?

02:27:09.000 Yeah.

02:27:09.000 I like that.

02:27:10.000 I have that.

02:27:11.000 Chinese food is delicious.

02:27:12.000 There's a reason why it's popular, right?

02:27:14.000 Right.

02:27:14.000 I like delicious things, is basically what I would say.

02:27:17.000 Yeah, me too.

02:27:18.000 I just don't allow myself to have them very often.

02:27:21.000 I feel like you're more disciplined than I am.

02:27:24.000 Maybe.

02:27:24.000 Yeah.

02:27:25.000 Probably.

02:27:26.000 I think so.

02:27:26.000 Well, that's been sort of the theme of my life as far as getting things done.

02:27:31.000 It's always been about forcing myself to work.

02:27:35.000 I think, especially comedians, one of the things about what we do is that it's so open-ended.

02:27:41.000 No one can tell us what to do.

02:27:42.000 I don't know how your schedule works, but me, I call into the comedy store on Monday and I can decide how many days I want to put in for her.

02:27:50.000 I can say, I'll do Tuesday and Friday, Saturday, so I'll take Wednesday and Thursday off.

02:27:55.000 It's totally up to me, right?

02:27:57.000 And I think that's how we all are.

02:27:59.000 We can decide when to work and when not to work, but there's a big, there's a direct connection between forcing yourself to write more and perform more, and your act getting better, and you're getting more work, and your comedy career progressing.

02:28:15.000 And so for me, The discipline that I apply to fighting and martial arts and other things and to continue to stay fit and work out, I apply to comedy too.

02:28:26.000 Just make yourself go do the thing. 0.99

02:28:28.000 But the natural inclination of really funny people is often to fuck off, is often to be lazy. 0.98

02:28:35.000 But I don't think that they're mutually exclusive. 0.99

02:28:37.000 I think you can be disciplined but still have the same sort of comedic instincts.

02:28:42.000 You just have to know when to turn it on and when to turn it off and when it benefits you.

02:28:46.000 I... Are you done?

02:28:51.000 Like when you go off on those things.

02:28:55.000 I agree with you.

02:28:56.000 I agree with you 100%.

02:28:56.000 I admire your discipline.

02:28:59.000 I feel like I'm not as disciplined as you.

02:29:01.000 Do you want to be more disciplined?

02:29:02.000 Although people who look at me are always like, you accomplish more because I act, I do things, I go on the road, I do stand-up, I write books, I write articles.

02:29:12.000 But I know I'm not disciplined.

02:29:15.000 I just know it.

02:29:16.000 But you're more disciplined than a lot of other comics.

02:29:19.000 I just know me.

02:29:20.000 But we all know comics, like, especially...

02:29:23.000 They're just getting high all day.

02:29:24.000 I know. 0.60

02:29:24.000 Well, not only that, we all know the tragic stories of the guys who wrote an hour in, like, 1996 and never fucking adjusted it, and they had real promise. 0.60

02:29:34.000 There's guys that are doing the same fucking jokes that you and I both know. 0.96

02:29:38.000 They've been doing the same jokes for 20 years, and they still are. 0.98

02:29:41.000 And you can go and catch them at the fucking Laugh Factory tomorrow night, and they'll tell a joke from the late 90s. 0.96

02:29:47.000 Right. 0.98

02:29:47.000 I mean, there's those guys. 0.98

02:29:48.000 They exist.

02:29:49.000 And a lot of those guys had massive potential.

02:29:52.000 Like, they were really good.

02:29:54.000 But I think...

02:29:55.000 I know you're blaming...

02:29:56.000 Some of it is obviously discipline and the...

02:30:00.000 But I think it goes back to what we said earlier about the risk of doing new material.

02:30:05.000 For sure.

02:30:05.000 But that's a part of discipline as well.

02:30:07.000 I understand, but there's a pain involved with it.

02:30:09.000 Maybe if you're just...

02:30:11.000 I'm just hypothesizing here that if you're a comedian and you love...

02:30:16.000 The attention and the approval that that overwhelms your desire to write new material and go through that pain process.

02:30:25.000 Yeah, there's definitely some excuses that you can make for why people don't write.

02:30:31.000 I think that's why Eddie Murphy doesn't do stand-up, by the way. 0.98

02:30:34.000 Well, I think it's the thing where he got caught with those transvestite prostitutes. 1.00

02:30:39.000 That's not what I think it is at all. 0.85

02:30:40.000 I think that's 100% what it is, because that's when he stopped.

02:30:44.000 No, he had stopped before then.

02:30:45.000 He had stopped doing stand-up before then.

02:30:47.000 How'd he?

02:30:48.000 Yeah.

02:30:49.000 You know, he's been caught a few times.

02:30:51.000 Okay, I'm not outing Eddie Murphy.

02:30:54.000 We're not outing anything.

02:30:55.000 This is all news.

02:30:57.000 Right, but that happened.

02:30:58.000 I thought that happened just once.

02:31:00.000 I have a friend who's a cop.

02:31:02.000 Uh-oh.

02:31:02.000 And I know some things.

02:31:03.000 You know some things?

02:31:04.000 Yeah, you know what they call them?

02:31:05.000 Dragons.

02:31:06.000 Your police officer friends?

02:31:08.000 No.

02:31:08.000 The drag queens, they call them dragons.

02:31:11.000 Did you see that movie?

02:31:12.000 It's about picking up dragons.

02:31:13.000 See that movie, Tangerine, by any chance?

02:31:15.000 No, what's that?

02:31:16.000 It's about dragons.

02:31:18.000 Really?

02:31:18.000 Yeah.

02:31:19.000 No.

02:31:19.000 Didn't see it.

02:31:20.000 Is it good?

02:31:21.000 About real dragons?

02:31:22.000 Shot on an iPhone.

02:31:23.000 Shot on an iPhone.

02:31:24.000 What's that?

02:31:25.000 Ian Edwards is in it.

02:31:26.000 Ian, your best friend, Ian Edwards, who you go see soccer matches with, is in that movie and is excellent in it.

02:31:32.000 Is he?

02:31:33.000 Yeah.

02:31:33.000 Did you see it?

02:31:34.000 Ian's excellent at everything.

02:31:35.000 Yeah, he's a talented comic.

02:31:37.000 Funny dude.

02:31:38.000 He's a talented comic, right?

02:31:39.000 Good guy, too.

02:31:39.000 What a sweetie.

02:31:40.000 He's a guy who eats really healthy.

02:31:41.000 He does?

02:31:42.000 Sort of.

02:31:42.000 More than you?

02:31:43.000 He's vegan.

02:31:44.000 But he's really disciplined.

02:31:45.000 You're not vegan, are you?

02:31:46.000 No, no.

02:31:46.000 But he's very disciplined with it.

02:31:48.000 But he doesn't supplement.

02:31:49.000 Like, if you are going to go vegan, you really have to take B12 and D3. It's very hard to get them.

02:31:55.000 Do you take D4 ever?

02:31:57.000 D4? No.

02:31:58.000 Yeah, that's the good one.

02:31:59.000 No.

02:32:00.000 Just think about it.

02:32:00.000 I don't even know if that's a thing.

02:32:01.000 I don't think it's...

02:32:02.000 I don't take supplements.

02:32:02.000 Might be.

02:32:03.000 Might be a thing.

02:32:03.000 I'd take D3. D3? Yeah.

02:32:05.000 But he doesn't supplement.

02:32:08.000 And I just really try to get him to do that because he's always tired.

02:32:11.000 He's always napping more in the cars on the way to gigs. 1.00

02:32:13.000 He's fucking falling asleep and shit. 1.00

02:32:15.000 Is that him in the movie? 1.00

02:32:16.000 Yeah.

02:32:16.000 Anyway, shot on an iPhone.

02:32:18.000 Yeah, that's a couple dragons, as you like to call it.

02:32:21.000 I've never heard that expression before.

02:32:23.000 It's an interesting little low-budget movie. 0.99

02:32:26.000 Well, these fucking phones are way better than the film cameras that they used 20 years ago. 0.98

02:32:31.000 I mean, what you can get off of a phone now, the images and the crystal clear images off of just a regular iPhone 6, they're fucking phenomenal. 0.99

02:32:40.000 No question.

02:32:41.000 But I don't know if they're better than a good camera.

02:32:44.000 It's the lenses that were amazing on those cameras.

02:32:47.000 Yeah.

02:32:48.000 But I guarantee you, you could get a video camera from...

02:32:52.000 Oh, a video camera?

02:32:53.000 Yeah.

02:32:54.000 Oh, yeah.

02:32:54.000 Oh, you mean like a film camera?

02:32:55.000 Yeah, I thought that's what you were saying.

02:32:57.000 No, I meant like something nice.

02:33:01.000 Video.

02:33:02.000 Well, it's interesting because...

02:33:04.000 Nobody, they shot the whole thing on this!

02:33:05.000 Yeah, but you could do that pretty...

02:33:07.000 I actually think the Five.

02:33:09.000 What's interesting about...

02:33:12.000 Yeah.

02:33:14.000 The shallow focus field.

02:33:29.000 Yeah.

02:33:30.000 Yeah, and it's kind of...

02:33:31.000 It really keeps your...

02:33:32.000 It's almost like the way you see things in real life.

02:33:35.000 Like, if I'm looking at you in real life, I note that there's a background behind you, but I'm not really seeing it very clearly at all.

02:33:41.000 I see you, and then I see Elvis Presley visiting President Nixon.

02:33:45.000 Right.

02:33:46.000 Did you ever see Presley perform?

02:33:48.000 No, not live.

02:33:50.000 Did you?

02:33:51.000 No, no.

02:33:52.000 But I was just...

02:33:52.000 Do you know they just released that movie?

02:33:54.000 They digitally re-released the concert film of his comeback in Vegas?

02:33:59.000 Yeah.

02:34:01.000 Wait, I'm...

02:34:02.000 Are you talking about the film from 1970?

02:34:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:34:05.000 They digitally remastered it, and I was at the movies recently, and they had a preview.

02:34:10.000 A trailer?

02:34:10.000 Yeah.

02:34:11.000 Fucking crazy. 0.99

02:34:11.000 Wait, did they want you to do one of those nights in the theater where they do it? 0.99

02:34:15.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:34:15.000 And he was dancing.

02:34:17.000 What was really crazy is watching women react to him.

02:34:19.000 Still?

02:34:20.000 Just screaming.

02:34:21.000 No, not the women today.

02:34:23.000 The women back then. 0.97

02:34:25.000 Screaming and falling down.

02:34:27.000 They didn't even...

02:34:28.000 You think about how much bigger a star he was than anybody could ever be a star today.

02:34:34.000 It's because people are used to...

02:34:36.000 Social media, and video, and Snapchat, and this and that, and there's a million different stars, and there's a million different movies, and there's a fucking hundred thousand television shows, and you have 290 channels, and they're constantly running, and all this information and data,

02:34:51.000 it's not special anymore. 0.97

02:34:52.000 Back then, there was two fucking television channels. 0.99

02:34:56.000 There was these movies that he would come on, and, you know, he would sing through the fucking movie. 1.00

02:35:02.000 There was only one Elvis. 0.99

02:35:03.000 He was arguably...

02:35:10.000 Al Jolson?

02:35:25.000 Al Jolson.

02:35:26.000 Al Jolson, okay.

02:35:27.000 The first movie.

02:35:28.000 The first talkie.

02:35:29.000 He was in the first talkie?

02:35:30.000 Well, I mean, it's officially known as the first talkie.

02:35:34.000 It's called The Jazz Singer.

02:35:36.000 Point being, there's not that many back then.

02:35:39.000 There's a very small pool of human beings.

02:35:41.000 Yeah, but Frank Sinatra didn't sing in movies.

02:35:45.000 Okay, Joe.

02:35:46.000 Did he?

02:35:46.000 Joe, this is getting sad now.

02:35:48.000 Well, he sang.

02:35:48.000 Did he sing?

02:35:49.000 Was that a part of the movies?

02:35:50.000 Like Elvis would go, we gotta go down to the beach.

02:35:52.000 We're gonna go down to the beach.

02:35:54.000 You see, on the town?

02:35:55.000 We're gonna go down to the beach.

02:35:56.000 Okay, it's not like, yeah, it's a different thing.

02:35:58.000 I mean, he would sing, but my point is, even if it could include Sinatra, we're still only talking about like 20 people.

02:36:05.000 Okay.

02:36:06.000 There's so few.

02:36:06.000 I agree with you.

02:36:07.000 There's hundreds and hundreds and hundreds now.

02:36:09.000 I agree with you.

02:36:09.000 He's a huge star.

02:36:10.000 My point is, it was a new thing.

02:36:16.000 There was not much history to it.

02:36:18.000 I mean, television had only been around for a few decades in the 1950s.

02:36:24.000 I mean, it's super new.

02:36:25.000 And then movies before that, you know, the silent movies, and then you're only talking about like 100 years maximum, right?

02:36:34.000 So this is all a completely new experience. 0.97

02:36:36.000 These girls are seeing this superstar, this guy, this Elvis Presley with his perfect hair and his singing and his fucking jumpsuit and the whole deal. 0.99

02:36:45.000 And the reaction to them, it's almost like their brains can't process it. 0.99

02:36:50.000 And they're screaming and they're fainting.

02:36:53.000 And it's one of the most bizarre things about watching Elvis is watching the reaction to Elvis that these people have that are in the audience.

02:37:00.000 No question.

02:37:01.000 Yeah, like that power.

02:37:03.000 Can I talk about Elvis for another second?

02:37:06.000 You don't have to ask me if you can talk about Elvis.

02:37:08.000 Oh, I'm not allowed to.

02:37:09.000 Just talk.

02:37:09.000 Just talk?

02:37:10.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:37:10.000 Okay.

02:37:12.000 You know the book. 0.96

02:37:16.000 I'm silly. 0.98

02:37:17.000 I'm silly. 0.94

02:37:17.000 Do you know the book? 0.94

02:37:19.000 What is it?

02:37:20.000 It's written by the guy about 10,000 hours.

02:37:23.000 You need to do 10,000 hours to be good at something.

02:37:25.000 Is that Malcolm Gladwell?

02:37:26.000 Malcolm Gladwell.

02:37:27.000 Yeah.

02:37:28.000 Yeah.

02:37:28.000 And it's the one after Blink.

02:37:30.000 Yeah.

02:37:31.000 Right.

02:37:33.000 So Elvis is the opposite of the 10,000 hours.

02:37:38.000 The opposite.

02:37:40.000 Because if you go back, it was like, how did Elvis?

02:37:43.000 He sang in high school a little bit, but not in a band.

02:37:46.000 Not in a band around Memphis, Tennessee, gigging or anything.

02:37:51.000 Recorded a thing for his mom, a song for his mom at Sun Records.

02:37:55.000 Said, oh, I want to sing here.

02:37:57.000 The girl liked it. 0.71

02:37:58.000 You know, the secretary, she gave it to the boss.

02:38:00.000 He was like, oh, I think he's got a good voice.

02:38:02.000 Let me bring in some local guys.

02:38:04.000 And they cut these unbelievable rockabilly albums.

02:38:06.000 He had never sung with a band.

02:38:09.000 Wow.

02:38:09.000 Did he sing around his home or anything like that?

02:38:12.000 Who knows?

02:38:12.000 But even – it wasn't 10,000 hours like the Beatles in Hamburg or something like that where you're like, oh, I'm going to learn how to sing and get around it or, you know, Billy Joel playing around for a long time and then finally breaking through.

02:38:24.000 You know, he was in a rock band before he became Billy Joel and it's the craziest thing.

02:38:30.000 Yeah.

02:38:31.000 I just feel like his story is like, he's the opposite of that 10,000 hour.

02:38:34.000 Just like, out of the gate, great.

02:38:37.000 And he was the biggest superstar ever.

02:38:39.000 Like, there was no roadmap for him to follow.

02:38:42.000 There had never been anybody before him.

02:38:44.000 Plus, he was also the first guy to experience pills.

02:38:48.000 Oh. 0.95

02:38:49.000 You know, I mean as far as like superstars like that's when the whole pill craze was coming on was like during the 50s in the 60s You know there was not I mean how many fucking pills were there?

02:38:59.000 I mean there were opiates they could give you opium and You know milk of the puppy there was a bunch of different things that they would give people Dilaudid remember they used to give those women Dilaudid in those old Wild West movies. 0.93

02:39:11.000 That was a basically an opiate They would give them certain drugs, but He was one of the first guys that really got into pills.

02:39:21.000 Yeah.

02:39:22.000 Yeah, he was kind of an addict, right? 1.00

02:39:25.000 Oh, fuck yeah, he was an addict. 1.00

02:39:27.000 I mean, that's one of the reasons why he died so young. 1.00

02:39:28.000 I mean, for sure.

02:39:31.000 Yeah, I never saw him perform.

02:39:33.000 But I did see...

02:39:34.000 I know you were talking about Freddie Mercury.

02:39:36.000 I saw those guys once.

02:39:37.000 Oh, yeah.

02:39:38.000 And you liked him, right? 1.00

02:39:39.000 Oh, fuck yeah. 1.00

02:39:40.000 Huge Freddie Mercury fan. 1.00

02:39:43.000 All right.

02:39:44.000 I've only saw him in concert once, and I'm still laughing at it.

02:39:47.000 Really?

02:39:48.000 Oh. 1.00

02:39:48.000 They do the most ridiculous thing in concert. 1.00

02:39:50.000 First of all, he's in a white suit, and then by the end, he's just in white underwear. 0.96

02:39:55.000 He's just great.

02:39:56.000 Slowly, his shoes are off, his shirt's off.

02:39:59.000 It's great.

02:40:00.000 But you know the song Bohemian Rhapsody?

02:40:02.000 Yeah.

02:40:03.000 Do you know how they do it in concert?

02:40:04.000 No.

02:40:05.000 Oh, Joe, it's classic.

02:40:07.000 So I'm like, okay, I can't wait to see this.

02:40:10.000 Bohemian Rhapsody.

02:40:11.000 Are they going to go around a mic and hold their hand to their ears and do the, is this the, you know, the harmonies?

02:40:16.000 None of it.

02:40:17.000 They skip the beginning part.

02:40:18.000 They skip it?

02:40:19.000 Skip it completely.

02:40:20.000 Start with the, the piano part.

02:40:24.000 Really?

02:40:24.000 Yeah, they don't do the, is this the real life?

02:40:26.000 Is this just fantasy caught in a landslide?

02:40:29.000 Escape from reality.

02:40:31.000 All of that gone.

02:40:32.000 Really?

02:40:33.000 Yeah.

02:40:34.000 So they start with the song.

02:40:35.000 Wait, Joe, this gets better.

02:40:36.000 Mother. 0.98

02:40:37.000 Yeah, it's mama just killed a man.

02:40:39.000 People are going...

02:40:40.000 Then they play the first guitar solo.

02:40:43.000 And then they go...

02:40:44.000 You know that part?

02:40:47.000 The opera part?

02:40:48.000 Guess what happens at that part?

02:40:50.000 What?

02:40:50.000 They run off stage.

02:40:52.000 Queen leaves the stage.

02:40:54.000 They play the record.

02:40:55.000 The whole opera part.

02:40:58.000 Figaro, Figaro, da-da-da-da-da.

02:41:01.000 I'm just a poor boyfriend.

02:41:02.000 All of that.

02:41:04.000 And then when they come back for the guitar, so...

02:41:06.000 Then they come back on stage and sing the rest of the show.

02:41:11.000 The song.

02:41:11.000 Huh.

02:41:12.000 It's the craziest thing I had ever seen.

02:41:15.000 Madison Square Garden.

02:41:15.000 I'm like, I turn to the person and I was like, you realize there's no one on stage right now.

02:41:21.000 No one on stage.

02:41:22.000 And they're just playing that opera part.

02:41:24.000 Hmm.

02:41:25.000 Like a song of it.

02:41:26.000 I wonder why they do that.

02:41:27.000 Because vocally, I assume, it would just be impossible to come near what's on that record, right?

02:41:34.000 Yeah, I guess.

02:41:35.000 I mean, you like that song, right?

02:41:36.000 Yeah, but I would imagine they would want to replicate it.

02:41:39.000 I mean, opera singers can replicate opera.

02:41:41.000 Yeah, but it's so multi-tracked.

02:41:44.000 Right, right.

02:41:45.000 Yeah, that's it.

02:41:46.000 It's so produced.

02:41:48.000 I will not go.

02:41:50.000 Yeah, but you would think that they would at least perform part of it.

02:41:57.000 Well, they do.

02:41:57.000 They do the easy part.

02:41:59.000 No, but I mean while they're doing it.

02:42:01.000 While all the background stuff is like they would at least participate.

02:42:04.000 Run off stage.

02:42:06.000 Huh.

02:42:06.000 Maybe they take a cigarette break.

02:42:07.000 Like four little girls. 0.56

02:42:08.000 Just like, we can't do this.

02:42:10.000 Really?

02:42:10.000 We're out of here.

02:42:11.000 And then they come back.

02:42:12.000 He was a pretty good singer.

02:42:14.000 Yeah.

02:42:14.000 That guy was a good singer.

02:42:17.000 What's the best concert you've seen?

02:42:19.000 Or your favorite?

02:42:21.000 Do you even go to concerts?

02:42:23.000 No, very rarely now.

02:42:25.000 Alright, this is going to sound insulting.

02:42:30.000 This is going to sound insulting.

02:42:31.000 Okay.

02:42:34.000 When I look at you, know your act, I think of you like a Slayer concert.

02:42:39.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

02:42:40.000 A Danzig concert. 1.00

02:42:41.000 I don't like any of that shit. 1.00

02:42:42.000 You don't? 1.00

02:42:43.000 No, no.

02:42:44.000 Tell me what you like.

02:42:45.000 I totally apologize if I judged you on your...

02:42:48.000 I'm of a wide range.

02:42:50.000 You have a kind of aggressive act, right?

02:42:53.000 Not like a Slayer aggressive act.

02:42:55.000 You don't even watch.

02:42:58.000 That's not true!

02:42:58.000 I was watching you the other night doing your...

02:43:02.000 A bit about the new Bruce Jenner or whatever.

02:43:05.000 What's her name?

02:43:06.000 Caitlyn.

02:43:06.000 Caitlyn Jenner, yeah.

02:43:07.000 How do you feel about that Caitlyn Jenner thing?

02:43:09.000 Well, first of all, I'm afraid to talk about it because I'm afraid to talk.

02:43:14.000 You're way braver than I am.

02:43:16.000 You're way braver than I am.

02:43:17.000 Although there was a comedian last night who had a great joke.

02:43:21.000 God, what was his name?

02:43:23.000 Kyle, Kyle something.

02:43:25.000 Kyle Kinane?

02:43:25.000 No, not Kyle Kinane.

02:43:27.000 I'll think of his name.

02:43:29.000 This is not my joke, but he said...

02:43:30.000 Don't say his joke.

02:43:31.000 Don't say his joke without his name?

02:43:32.000 No.

02:43:33.000 You're going to give his joke away.

02:43:35.000 It was just a throwaway.

02:43:37.000 Don't say it.

02:43:37.000 Maybe it's his favorite thing ever.

02:43:40.000 I don't know.

02:43:41.000 No, he's doing the Tonight Show on Wednesday, and he's not doing that joke.

02:43:44.000 Definitely tell that joke before he does it on the Tonight Show.

02:43:47.000 He's not doing it on the Tonight Show.

02:43:48.000 I'm saying it.

02:43:49.000 All right.

02:43:49.000 Never mind.

02:43:50.000 Never mind.

02:43:51.000 But it's a weird subject, right?

02:43:52.000 It is. 0.96

02:43:53.000 Where all of a sudden you're not supposed to make fun of something that's obviously ridiculous. 0.86

02:43:58.000 Unprecedented. 0.75

02:43:58.000 Yeah. 0.75

02:43:59.000 Unprecedented.

02:43:59.000 Well, I don't buy it, and I'm not gonna buy it, and I don't care.

02:44:03.000 Do you get any blowback at all?

02:44:04.000 Sure.

02:44:04.000 You do?

02:44:05.000 Sure, people get upset, yeah.

02:44:07.000 And do you zen out on it?

02:44:08.000 Do you think it's funny?

02:44:10.000 Listen, this is a really easily defensible one. 0.99

02:44:14.000 First of all, you're talking about a ridiculous human being, okay? 1.00

02:44:17.000 Not just ridiculous, but patently ridiculous. 1.00

02:44:19.000 Right. 1.00

02:44:19.000 A guy who is a transsexual man. 1.00

02:44:21.000 Jeff Dive is the comedian.

02:44:23.000 Oh, okay.

02:44:23.000 I'm gonna do his joke later.

02:44:27.000 Transsexual man who became a woman and doesn't believe in gay marriage. 1.00

02:44:32.000 So he's a ridiculous person right there. 0.99

02:44:34.000 And on Ellen, when Ellen confronted him, did you ever watch that? 0.99

02:44:37.000 No. 0.96

02:44:37.000 It's pretty fucking awkward. 0.96

02:44:38.000 Because you realize, first of all, how stupid he really is. 1.00

02:44:41.000 He's a dumb man. 1.00

02:44:42.000 He's not smart. 1.00

02:44:43.000 As a woman, as a man, whatever.

02:44:45.000 But when Ellen's talking to him about gay rights and about gay marriage, about wouldn't you think that you, as a person who's been marginalized your whole life, you would support that?

02:44:54.000 His argument was, or her argument, whatever you want to call it.

02:44:56.000 Well, I've always been sort of a traditionalist.

02:44:59.000 Like, no, you're not a traditionalist. 1.00

02:45:01.000 You're a fucking man with nail polish on and a dress who's now a woman. 1.00

02:45:04.000 And you had your jaw shaved down to be a woman. 1.00

02:45:07.000 You have fake tits. 1.00

02:45:08.000 You're not fucking traditional. 1.00

02:45:09.000 At all. 1.00

02:45:10.000 And that's a shitty, stupid excuse for being a bigot. 1.00

02:45:14.000 You can't say that you don't support gay marriage because you're a traditional woman. 1.00

02:45:19.000 Because you're not a traditional woman. 1.00

02:45:21.000 I know.

02:45:23.000 There's a bunch of things about him that's preposterous.

02:45:26.000 He doesn't hold that position you feel gives you more latitude?

02:45:29.000 No.

02:45:30.000 It drives me nuts that the only thing that we're supposed to be paying attention to...

02:45:35.000 When you're looking at someone who's doing something that's obviously odd...

02:45:38.000 Right?

02:45:39.000 You're not supposed to make fun of it because it's a thing about gender. 1.00

02:45:42.000 Why is gender, all of a sudden, the only... 0.56

02:45:44.000 Like, this is the only category that precludes you from humor.

02:45:49.000 Like, you're supposed to be...

02:45:51.000 You're on safe space.

02:45:53.000 You're holding on to base.

02:45:55.000 Like, I'm touching base.

02:45:56.000 You can't get me.

02:45:57.000 I'm touching base.

02:45:58.000 This is gender. 0.75

02:46:00.000 I reject that. 0.73

02:46:02.000 And I think that over time, we're going to realize how ridiculous we were acting with this preposterous person who's essentially a male Kardashian, an older male Kardashian. 0.99

02:46:11.000 I mean, that's what the fuck he is, right? 1.00

02:46:13.000 And on top of that, everybody forgets he killed a woman. 1.00

02:46:16.000 He fucking slammed into some lady because he wasn't paying attention, knocked her into oncoming traffic, and she died, and everybody just sort of whisked that away, and then he wins an ESPY award, and he's walking around with fucking drapes Flowing the curtains in the breeze and there's a helicopter flying over him when he's walking around his house in his heels. 0.99

02:46:34.000 It's preposterous. 1.00

02:46:36.000 This is a preposterous person.

02:46:38.000 This is not a standard...

02:46:41.000 Subject of transsexuals who, you know, need to be respected for their choices.

02:46:45.000 Of course you should respect people for their choices.

02:46:48.000 Of course people should be able to express themselves in any way they want.

02:46:52.000 You could be a heterosexual man who is completely into women but likes dressing up like a woman, and I support that too.

02:46:58.000 You could say you're a woman.

02:46:59.000 He was a woman when he was on the Diane Sawyer Show, or he was a man.

02:47:03.000 He said he wants to be him.

02:47:04.000 He wants to be called he.

02:47:06.000 And then immediately after the attention that he got from that, he gets massive surgery and changes his name to Caitlin. 0.99

02:47:12.000 This is a ridiculous person. 0.99

02:47:15.000 Right. 1.00

02:47:16.000 This is a person that's infatuated with attention for no reason.

02:47:21.000 Not attention for their art, not attention for their philosophies or for their thoughts or for their work.

02:47:27.000 No, this is a person who's infatuated with attention for no reason.

02:47:32.000 That's why I think you're supposed to be able to make fun of this person.

02:47:36.000 I think my feeling is that, and again, you know my act.

02:47:42.000 Not edgy at all.

02:47:44.000 Not an edgy act.

02:47:45.000 Well, you go after some stuff.

02:47:48.000 I loved your bit about actors.

02:47:51.000 I fucking loved that because I've always felt the same way. 0.78

02:47:54.000 You did a bit that I was clapping and laughing at about actors being able to cry on cue. 1.00

02:48:00.000 And you were like, yeah, that's because they're fucking crazy. 0.99

02:48:04.000 Like, these are massively damaged people. 1.00

02:48:08.000 Like, trust me, I know them.

02:48:09.000 I work with them.

02:48:10.000 You did this really funny bit about actors.

02:48:13.000 Thank you, thank you, thank you.

02:48:14.000 Right, alright, but that's like as edgy as...

02:48:17.000 But you went in.

02:48:19.000 Yeah, I did, I did.

02:48:19.000 You went all in on the actors.

02:48:21.000 Yeah, I'm not completely benign.

02:48:23.000 But you have to work with them all the time.

02:48:24.000 I know, I know, I know, I know.

02:48:26.000 Well, it was just about, because I went to acting school.

02:48:28.000 Right.

02:48:28.000 Yeah.

02:48:30.000 And patently the most ridiculous people in all of show business. 1.00

02:48:33.000 The actor? 0.99

02:48:34.000 Without a doubt.

02:48:37.000 Seinfeld does a great, just a great takedown of actors all the time.

02:48:41.000 He's just like, why are we giving them awards?

02:48:45.000 They're told what to say, where to stand.

02:48:48.000 They don't have to do anything.

02:48:50.000 Why are they getting an award?

02:48:52.000 It's great.

02:48:53.000 It's great.

02:48:54.000 Yeah, no, I learned that in acting school.

02:48:56.000 The more emotional you were, the better actor you were.

02:49:00.000 It's true.

02:49:01.000 Yeah.

02:49:01.000 It's true.

02:49:02.000 The more emotionally imbalanced, the more unhinged.

02:49:04.000 The whole thing.

02:49:05.000 The less grounded you are in reality.

02:49:07.000 Yeah, you're creating this whole thing.

02:49:08.000 You can really become a great actor.

02:49:12.000 Anyway, my point was that even if Caitlyn wasn't all of it, even if she was pro-gay marriage or not part of the Kardashians, I still feel like it's part of life and can be made fun of.

02:49:25.000 Sure, of course.

02:49:26.000 And I don't...

02:49:26.000 This is a thing I have a problem with, which is...

02:49:31.000 This thing about punching down.

02:49:32.000 Do you have any idea what I'm talking about? 0.69

02:49:34.000 Yeah, but this is all nonsense.

02:49:35.000 I agree with you. 0.86

02:49:37.000 It's all nonsense.

02:49:37.000 You're allowed to make fun of things.

02:49:39.000 You're allowed to make fun of everything.

02:49:40.000 I make more fun of myself is my main thing, but you're allowed to make fun of things, right?

02:49:44.000 Of course.

02:49:45.000 That's a given.

02:49:46.000 That's a given.

02:49:46.000 This whole punching down thing is a symptom.

02:49:49.000 It's all coming out of social media.

02:49:51.000 It's a consequence of people being able to criticize and get upset about things and become recreationally outraged. 0.99

02:49:57.000 And yeah, Yeah, well there's some punching down that's really fucking mean. 0.97

02:50:00.000 Of course. 0.98

02:50:01.000 But then there's Kinison talking about the starving people in Ethiopia that's fucking hilarious. 1.00

02:50:06.000 It's a total punching down bit, and it's one of the greatest bits of all time.

02:50:10.000 But it's funny, and you cannot define what's funny and what's not funny.

02:50:14.000 Some people, they nail it.

02:50:16.000 Well, we have seen some mean comedy who bully people with their comedy, right?

02:50:20.000 It doesn't work, though.

02:50:21.000 Right, right.

02:50:21.000 It's not good.

02:50:22.000 Nobody likes it.

02:50:24.000 I've seen it work sometimes.

02:50:26.000 I'm not saying there's nothing to it.

02:50:28.000 I'm saying the idea that some things are off limits or your great analogy of I'm on bass and you can't touch this.

02:50:38.000 Crazy, right?

02:50:39.000 There's nothing off limits.

02:50:40.000 Can't be!

02:50:41.000 But people will decide that there's something off-limits, and then the way they reinforce that, they gang up on people like bullies.

02:50:47.000 Like Daniel Tosh got in trouble.

02:50:49.000 Remember when Daniel Tosh made that joke?

02:50:52.000 Yeah.

02:50:53.000 He was dealing with a heckler, right?

02:50:55.000 He was dealing with a heckler.

02:50:56.000 Yeah.

02:50:56.000 And he was also not even supposed to be on stage, so he didn't have any material prepared, and Dom Herrera forced him to go on stage.

02:51:03.000 He said, come on, go on stage.

02:51:04.000 So he said, alright, okay.

02:51:06.000 So he went on stage, and he didn't have any material.

02:51:08.000 He goes, what do you guys want to talk about?

02:51:09.000 I don't have any material.

02:51:09.000 What do you guys want to talk about?

02:51:10.000 And some guy yells out, rape!

02:51:13.000 And so he goes, what's funny about rape?

02:51:15.000 The humiliation?

02:51:16.000 The violence?

02:51:17.000 Like, what's funny about rape?

02:51:19.000 And some woman yells out, actually, nothing's funny about rape! 1.00

02:51:22.000 This is like someone who took the opportunity to be sanctimonious, and obviously nothing's funny about rape. 0.99

02:51:29.000 And he goes, well, wouldn't it be funny if five guys just raped her right now? 0.98

02:51:32.000 Which is something that a comedian would say, right? 0.94

02:51:35.000 And so this woman goes and writes a blog, and then it becomes this big issue. 1.00

02:51:39.000 Did he cross the line? 1.00

02:51:41.000 She's a fucking heckler! 1.00

02:51:43.000 I know, I know. 1.00

02:51:43.000 This lady's a heckler. 1.00

02:51:44.000 Not only that, she's the worst kind of heckler. 1.00

02:51:46.000 Someone who's trying to take This moral high ground and, you know, and be sanctimonious and stand up and admonish anyone for saying that.

02:51:55.000 Like, look, enjoy the show or don't enjoy the show.

02:51:58.000 Leave. 1.00

02:51:59.000 Do whatever the fuck you want. 1.00

02:52:00.000 But if you want to jump in and decide that you're going to be the moral voice of the crowd, you're going to get chopped up. 1.00

02:52:07.000 That's how comedy works.

02:52:09.000 You're dealing with live comedy.

02:52:11.000 And when someone has to make comedy out of what you just... 0.99

02:52:13.000 You just cum all over these people. 0.99

02:52:16.000 Like, argh! 0.99

02:52:17.000 You used your emotions and you used your morality and you decided you're going to enforce it on these people in the middle of a comedy show.

02:52:24.000 You can't do that.

02:52:26.000 You know what he's doing.

02:52:27.000 He's trying to make comedy out of something.

02:52:29.000 And also just his reaction to be the...

02:52:31.000 Yeah, it was perfect.

02:52:33.000 Just in that kind of like, okay, what is the worst offensive thing I could say to somebody who just said that nothing about rapes is funny?

02:52:39.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:52:40.000 Wouldn't it be funny if five guys raped her right now? 1.00

02:52:42.000 And then, by the way, the audience howled laughing. 0.99

02:52:45.000 Right, right.

02:52:45.000 His timing was perfect.

02:52:46.000 And she just decided, this is a fucking wonderful opportunity to be recreationally outraged. 1.00

02:52:53.000 Yeah, it's... 0.99

02:52:54.000 Look... 1.00

02:52:55.000 Fuck them. 1.00

02:52:57.000 I understand. 1.00

02:52:58.000 I understand.

02:52:59.000 But I do...

02:53:00.000 What about...

02:53:00.000 Let me take the side of, like...

02:53:03.000 Look...

02:53:05.000 Now that I have a Twitter account, I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about an audience member now who's outraged that somebody made fun of something, that now comedians can't hear, like, I don't have free speech, I can't yell at, me and my friends can't gang up on a comedian and yell at them on Twitter?

02:53:22.000 You certainly can.

02:53:23.000 Right. 1.00

02:53:24.000 But you're a cunt. 1.00

02:53:25.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

02:53:28.000 It depends on whether or not you have a point, right?

02:53:31.000 It's like all kinds of opinions.

02:53:33.000 I mean, you can have an argument with someone.

02:53:34.000 Like, say if you have an argument with someone publicly and somebody walks by and they maybe didn't get the entire full argument, but they watch you say something mean to that person.

02:53:42.000 They're allowed to have an opinion on that.

02:53:44.000 It might not be the most informed opinion.

02:53:46.000 It might not be correct. 0.98

02:53:47.000 And maybe you can choose to engage them and have a discussion about their opinion, or you can choose to not and let it exist in a vacuum and let them just fucking yap about you. 0.86

02:53:57.000 Let me ask you another question. 0.63

02:53:58.000 Okay.

02:53:58.000 And I know you don't like me asking about asking questions.

02:54:02.000 Right?

02:54:03.000 That's not the question, though.

02:54:05.000 Okay.

02:54:06.000 That's not the question.

02:54:09.000 Is there anything you've done in your act through the years, and you've released many albums, had five specials, right?

02:54:17.000 At least, yeah.

02:54:18.000 At least.

02:54:19.000 Can't even count.

02:54:21.000 Is there anything you've looked back and gone, I don't think I would have worded that today the way I did back then.

02:54:29.000 Not in terms of it being offensive, but in terms of it being not the economy of words wasn't correct, or it wasn't the best bit, or I should have worked on it more before I did it, or maybe I got a little lazy in my...

02:54:43.000 But just more about tightening and making the bit better.

02:54:45.000 Yeah, but that's just like looking at it...

02:54:54.000 No, not really.

02:55:07.000 Okay.

02:55:09.000 No, I mean, I think pretty much everything I've ever said, I've thought about before I said it.

02:55:13.000 Enough to the point where I had to have a reason if I wanted to joke about it, and then I had to have a perspective.

02:55:19.000 I meant just more as an evolution, as someone who's always...

02:55:24.000 As you said earlier, learning and trying new things.

02:55:26.000 Yeah, I mean, I certainly always have an evolution of my own thought process.

02:55:31.000 But I think when I look at old comedy, what gets me is extra words.

02:55:37.000 Yeah, extra words.

02:55:39.000 It hurts.

02:55:40.000 Yeah, economy of words is so critical.

02:55:42.000 And also, you know, the being in the moment and the timing and, you know, and just...

02:55:47.000 That's why it's hard to watch yourself.

02:55:49.000 It's hard.

02:55:50.000 But it's critical because that watching and listening to yourself...

02:55:54.000 Do you tape yourself?

02:55:54.000 Every set.

02:55:55.000 Every set.

02:55:57.000 Yeah.

02:55:57.000 That is discipline.

02:55:59.000 Got to.

02:56:00.000 It's the only way you're ever going to understand where you ad-libbed and figure out what those ad-libs are and whether or not they're valid.

02:56:07.000 When do you listen to it?

02:56:08.000 On the car on the way home?

02:56:09.000 Yeah.

02:56:09.000 That's the best way.

02:56:10.000 Or the next day on the car on the way to the show again.

02:56:15.000 I'll listen to it.

02:56:16.000 Because it's so nice because your phone just Bluetooths up to the stereo.

02:56:21.000 It's great.

02:56:21.000 It's easy to do.

02:56:24.000 And sometimes it's painful.

02:56:25.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

02:56:27.000 Fuck yeah, dude, I just got done editing my special and, you know, sitting down there listening to yourself. 1.00

02:56:32.000 You did that in San Francisco? 1.00

02:56:33.000 Yeah, I did it at the Fillmore.

02:56:35.000 Right.

02:56:36.000 Congratulations.

02:56:37.000 Thank you. 0.98

02:56:37.000 And then going and watching it, it's like, ugh, I fucking hate myself. 0.98

02:56:40.000 I don't want to watch it. 0.99

02:56:40.000 It's gross, you know? 0.99

02:56:42.000 Dude, we just did three hours.

02:56:44.000 Okay, we're done.

02:56:44.000 We're done.

02:56:45.000 We did it.

02:56:46.000 You're going to walk away?

02:56:54.000 He actually left.

02:56:56.000 Fetterman has left, but I got his phone.

02:56:57.000 It's a fake leaving.

02:56:58.000 You left your phone.

02:56:59.000 That was the bit.

02:57:00.000 You did the bit.

02:57:02.000 Let's wrap this up.

02:57:03.000 Let's do a wrap up.

02:57:04.000 Yeah, let's wrap this up.

02:57:05.000 How do you usually wrap up?

02:57:07.000 We don't.

02:57:08.000 We just...

02:57:08.000 There's no usual.

02:57:11.000 This is the beautiful thing about podcasts, man.

02:57:13.000 I do like it.

02:57:13.000 How many times have you done podcasts?

02:57:15.000 Many, many.

02:57:16.000 Yeah?

02:57:16.000 Many.

02:57:17.000 Come on up to the microphone so people can hear you.

02:57:19.000 Oh, is that how you do it?

02:57:20.000 Yeah, like that.

02:57:21.000 There you go.

02:57:21.000 You've got to be up there.

02:57:22.000 You've done a bunch of them?

02:57:23.000 Yeah.

02:57:24.000 I've never done...

02:57:24.000 This is the longest I've ever done.

02:57:26.000 Have you ever thought about doing your own?

02:57:27.000 I did do one with a girl.

02:57:30.000 It didn't work out because you fell in love?

02:57:32.000 No.

02:57:32.000 See, it's interesting.

02:57:33.000 She was 25 years younger than I. Married. 0.95

02:57:37.000 I'm single, so we had this great...

02:57:39.000 Back and forth.

02:57:41.000 A little bit of attention.

02:57:42.000 Sexual attention?

02:57:43.000 I think, unfortunately, yeah, a little bit.

02:57:46.000 On your side or her side or both?

02:57:50.000 Just leave it there.

02:57:51.000 Let's just leave it there.

02:57:52.000 Let's just leave it there.

02:57:53.000 At Fetterman on Twitter.

02:57:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:57:57.000 Whoever you are, that guy who stole Wade Fetterman, fuck you. 1.00

02:58:01.000 Fuck you, buddy. 1.00

02:58:03.000 Try to get money from you, right? 1.00

02:58:04.000 I think he wants some money, yeah.

02:58:06.000 Let's get Twitter to get that back.

02:58:08.000 Jamie, contact them.

02:58:10.000 Get on that.

02:58:11.000 Get Chandra on it.

02:58:12.000 Thank you for inviting me.

02:58:13.000 My pleasure, dude.

02:58:14.000 Allowing me on your show.

02:58:15.000 I totally invited you.

02:58:16.000 Number 200. 829. 829. How many of those have you heard completely back again?

02:58:26.000 Probably five.

02:58:27.000 I would think it would be less than five.

02:58:30.000 It's more than five.

02:58:31.000 Five?

02:58:31.000 Yeah, I probably heard 12. That's pretty good.

02:58:33.000 I don't listen to very many of them.

02:58:35.000 How could you?

02:58:35.000 Yeah, no time and I don't want to.

02:58:38.000 Man, it's out there.

02:58:39.000 Yeah, but again, it's the same kind of thing like stand-up.

02:58:42.000 You learn...

02:58:44.000 You know, when you talk too much, or if you talk over people, or if you don't listen.

02:58:48.000 I know, I feel like I interrupted you too much.

02:58:50.000 No, you were great.

02:58:51.000 Thank you, thank you.

02:58:52.000 But I did have the, I appreciate the compliment, that album, the Jimi Hendrix Experience.

02:58:59.000 It was my older brother's, but I remember Mitch Mitchell, I wish I could remember the name, the bass player, do you remember his name?

02:59:04.000 No.

02:59:05.000 Those are just replaceable white dudes. 0.90

02:59:08.000 No.

02:59:09.000 No, I feel like they were never as good.

02:59:12.000 Noel Redding is my guess.

02:59:14.000 That's off the top.

02:59:15.000 I'm not looking at...

02:59:15.000 You can tell them right now.

02:59:16.000 Am I looking at a computer?

02:59:17.000 No, you're not looking at a computer.

02:59:18.000 I'm going to say Noel Redding, Mitch Mitchell, and then Jim Hendrix.

02:59:21.000 That's the way I used to call him.

02:59:22.000 All right.

02:59:23.000 Wayne Fetterman, ladies and gentlemen.

02:59:25.000 Later.

02:59:25.000 Goodbye.

02:59:26.000 See you tomorrow.

02:59:27.000 We'll be back tomorrow with Neil Brennan.

02:59:29.000 All right.

02:59:31.000 Jesus.

02:59:32.000 That was easy.

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 02, 2016

Joe Rogan Experience #829 - Wayne Federman

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Summary

Transcript