The Joe Rogan Experience - February 07, 2017


Joe Rogan Experience #913 - Christopher Ryan

Topics
radioactive diamond batteries traveling doing podcasts Bill Barr's podcast and special LSD and psychedelic experiences psychotic break emotional addiction to relationships dogs versus cats debate eating bacon Wild Biggs trans fats salsa dancing Chris Stewart barefoot running sock
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Christopher Ryan
Mentioned
Jamie Duncan Trussell Brandy Ali G Chris Ryan PhD Donald Trump Kathy Bates Ralph Nader Jesus Christ Benil Darius Alex Jones Wade Davis Obama Jake Johansson Megan McCarthy Dennis Miller Brian Callen Eddie Bravo Alan Havy Fukushima and 92 more
Joe Rogan Experience #911 - Alex Jones & Eddie Bravo Joe Rogan Experience #914 - Ryan Callaghan & Kenton Carruth

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 29 minutes

Words per minute

192.9

Word count

28,915

Sentence count

3,451

Harmful content

Misogyny

100

sentences flagged

Toxicity

836

sentences flagged

Hate speech

61

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this episode of Conspiracy Theories, the boys talk about Alex Jones' trip to Las Vegas and the crazy things he said. They also talk about the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre and how it ties into the conspiracy theory that President Obama s mother was a CIA sex worker. Also, the guys talk about Eddie Bravo and how he thinks the government is trying to kill him and why he thinks it s a good idea to get him drunk and see if he can make sense of the conspiracy theories that Alex Jones and others have been peddling for years. And of course, they talk about why they think the government might have planted a bomb in Sandy Hook and if it s even possible that could be the case. This episode is a must listen! If you like conspiracy theories and conspiracy theories, this episode is for you. Just pay the 2.95 postage and we'll talk about it on the next episode. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Art by Skynet. The opinions expressed in this episode are our own, not those of our companies. We do not own the rights to any music used in the podcast. All credit given to any other music used on the podcast is given to artists, websites or other creators. Thank you for any other source of music used to make music heard on this episode, we are working on this podcast or any other product or product credit given away to a third party. It was produced and produced by our patrons. Thanks to our good friends. and and our patrons We appreciate the support and support this podcast and all the use of our services. - we are a big thank you, we really appreciate all the support we can do this podcast, we appreciate all of the love and support we get back from all of our hard work. Thank you so much for all the love, support we got back from the support, support, and all of your support is appreciated. we appreciate you, thank you back and support you all of you are truly appreciate it, it really means so much, it means it's a lot more than you can see it. it really helps us can do it. We really appreciate it. It really means it, really really means the support us, really does mean it, truly means it. Thanks, Thank you, really appreciates it.

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:21.000 We were just about to talk about getting Alex Jones high on the podcast before we started, and I said, save it.
00:00:26.000 You gotta save that.
00:00:28.000 Well, see, I'm not that tuned in to who he is.
00:00:31.000 I just hear, you know, occasionally Alex Jones is this right-wing conspiracy guy.
00:00:35.000 I never listened to him. 0.98
00:00:37.000 So I saw he was on your show and I was working at home doing some shit around the house. 0.64
00:00:41.000 So I put it on YouTube so I could actually see him doing this, taking his things off, the headphones on and off. 0.97
00:00:46.000 Oh, my God.
00:00:47.000 He's manic. 0.99
00:00:49.000 And for the first hour, hour and a half, I was like, fuck, this guy, about half of what he says actually kind of makes sense to me. 0.99
00:00:58.000 And he's obviously really smart. 1.00
00:01:01.000 IQ off the fucking charts, no doubt. 0.99
00:01:04.000 But then he would just veer off occasionally. 0.99
00:01:09.000 And the more weed and whiskey got involved, the more it was just like, this is performance art.
00:01:14.000 This is just nuts.
00:01:16.000 This is beyond nuts.
00:01:17.000 Right before the podcast started, he was like, man, I want to get a drink.
00:01:21.000 And he went into there and he had some whiskey.
00:01:23.000 Did he have some whiskey before I got here?
00:01:26.000 Might have been right as you got here.
00:01:27.000 Right as I got here.
00:01:28.000 So I was already here, and he's like, well, before we get started, let me get a drink real quick.
00:01:32.000 And he went back, and I had a drink with him.
00:01:34.000 I'm like, listen, I'm not going to let him drink alone.
00:01:36.000 We're going to do this right.
00:01:37.000 But it was a dangerous proposition, because Eddie Bravo was here.
00:01:40.000 And Eddie Bravo is Mexican, and Joey Diaz says that Mexicans are basically Native Americans.
00:01:49.000 Yeah.
00:01:49.000 He's right.
00:01:51.000 There's Mexicans that were Native Americans that bred with the Spanish.
00:01:55.000 You would know more about this, having lived in Spain.
00:01:58.000 And Mexico.
00:02:00.000 And I've bred with Mexicans. 0.56
00:02:02.000 And Spaniards. 0.98
00:02:03.000 I'll breed with anyone. 0.71
00:02:05.000 Well, not breed, but attempted breeding.
00:02:07.000 I've gone through the motions, yeah.
00:02:10.000 But, you know, they look like some of them look like people from Spain and some of them look like Native Americans. 0.53
00:02:15.000 It's kind of interesting.
00:02:16.000 Like Mexico is a kind of really diverse sort of genetic line.
00:02:21.000 But so, you know, the old stereotype about Native Americans. 0.99
00:02:25.000 That you get him drunk and the Indian goes fucking crazy. 1.00
00:02:29.000 Well, Eddie Bravo, who's Mexican, Joey Diaz is always saying, you get him drunk, that fucking Indian comes out. 1.00
00:02:34.000 And that is exactly what happened. 1.00
00:02:37.000 So we got Eddie drunk and he just went off the fucking rails with... 0.99
00:02:40.000 He thinks the government's spraying shit in the sky and he's been saying it forever. 0.99
00:02:44.000 So much so that he's got this confirmation bias thing where he's constantly looking to confirm. 0.99
00:02:50.000 So he just had this agenda that he had to talk to Alex Jones, even after he talked about interdimensional child molesters.
00:02:56.000 Right. 0.93
00:02:56.000 And Obama's mother being a CIA sex worker. 0.93
00:03:02.000 He's so crazy! 1.00
00:03:03.000 Oh, he's awesome!
00:03:05.000 But I think people got a chance to see what I see in him.
00:03:08.000 Because everybody's like, how could you be friends with Alex Jones?
00:03:10.000 I'm like, I'm telling you, he's a great guy.
00:03:13.000 He's a great guy.
00:03:14.000 He's a lot of fun. 1.00
00:03:15.000 And he's right about a lot of shit. 0.99
00:03:17.000 Well, the thing, alright, somebody emailed me this morning and they're like, you know, because I'd said, I tweeted, like, hey, this guy's actually making sense. 0.99
00:03:24.000 And they were like, dude, he's like a, he denies the Sandy Hook massacre.
00:03:28.000 Is that true?
00:03:29.000 I don't know.
00:03:30.000 Is that true?
00:03:30.000 That's horrible if that's true.
00:03:32.000 Well, that's it. 1.00
00:03:33.000 I mean, that's the kind of thing that for me, it's like, if he's denying that, then fuck that guy. 1.00
00:03:36.000 He's saying, you know, Obama's mother was a CIA sex worker. 1.00
00:03:39.000 That's just funny.
00:03:40.000 But the, I mean, I don't know.
00:03:43.000 You know what I think?
00:03:44.000 This is my take on him.
00:03:45.000 And like I said, I love this guy dearly.
00:03:48.000 I feel like he's a high power Corvette engine.
00:03:53.000 Yeah.
00:03:54.000 But some of the spark plugs...
00:03:57.000 He's misfiring occasionally.
00:03:59.000 They're not totally connected.
00:04:00.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:04:01.000 So, like, Obama's wife is a CIA, you know, Obama's mama is a CIA sex slave and Sandy Hook and we've got the documents. 0.96
00:04:08.000 There's a few of those things that get through where maybe if he had someone next to him... 0.98
00:04:13.000 Going, let's look at this objectively.
00:04:16.000 Isn't it possible that this could be the case?
00:04:18.000 Or isn't it possible that that could be the case?
00:04:20.000 And it's the opposite.
00:04:21.000 What he's got is millions of people saying, yeah, give us more of that. 0.97
00:04:24.000 People fucking love conspiracy theories. 0.98
00:04:27.000 They love them. 0.99
00:04:28.000 They love them.
00:04:29.000 And you know, see, this is where I was surprised to be agreeing with him.
00:04:33.000 Because...
00:04:35.000 Because we do live in a conspiracy.
00:04:37.000 It is a conspiracy. 1.00
00:04:39.000 Modern civilization is a fucking lie. 1.00
00:04:42.000 So I agree that, you know, where he's saying, like, you know, we're being... 1.00
00:04:46.000 He was talking about sort of...
00:04:48.000 I think he gets into lizard people and that kind of thing.
00:04:50.000 I don't think he does.
00:04:51.000 No?
00:04:51.000 He doesn't get into lizard people.
00:04:52.000 That's David Icke.
00:04:54.000 Oh, okay.
00:04:54.000 I get into superorganisms.
00:04:58.000 Like, I think we're embedded in a superorganism.
00:05:00.000 You and I have talked about this before, I think.
00:05:02.000 Yeah.
00:05:02.000 And that's why we as a species are doing things that are detrimental to our own interests as individual human beings.
00:05:09.000 Because we are embedded in the superorganism just like our bacteria is embedded in us.
00:05:16.000 Do you think the superorganism is the Earth itself?
00:05:19.000 No, I think it's technology.
00:05:22.000 Me too.
00:05:23.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:05:23.000 And so, I mean, you and I and Duncan talked about this a bunch when we were doing the shrimp parade thing, you know, like, because I see it as the end of humanity and that is a negative thing because I kind of like, I like the way we lived for 200,000 years embedded in the environment like other animals and pretty fucking happy and living in the moment and all that,
00:05:43.000 you know?
00:05:44.000 Yeah.
00:05:45.000 Whereas Duncan thinks it's great that we're spreading out into the universe, even if we stop being humans to do that.
00:05:52.000 Yeah, it's a fascinating conversation.
00:05:56.000 So anyway, I'm crazy too, is my point.
00:05:58.000 So I think there's a certain amount of craziness that's certainly called for. 0.56
00:06:02.000 I don't think you're crazy.
00:06:04.000 I think you're looking at, like you're extrapolating.
00:06:07.000 You're just looking at what's going on, and it's really clear.
00:06:09.000 What you're saying is absolutely correct.
00:06:11.000 We're not operating in the best interest of the species, right? 0.98
00:06:15.000 If we continue, do you see this new crack in the fucking Antarctica? 0.98
00:06:18.000 In Antarctica, yeah. 1.00
00:06:19.000 Holy shit! 1.00
00:06:20.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:06:20.000 It's grown over the last couple of months by like a mile. 0.99
00:06:23.000 And that thing's like the size of Delaware or something?
00:06:26.000 Yeah, enormous. 0.94
00:06:26.000 And if it breaks off, Foxville, just a gigantic floating iceberg, like the size of a state that might just, you know, head to Hawaii and fucking crash into it. 0.94
00:06:37.000 Look at this. 0.51
00:06:38.000 Shocking animation reveals how massive, how a massive Antarctic crack has grown 17 miles in the last two months.
00:06:45.000 Hold on, scroll back.
00:06:45.000 And it's inevitable.
00:06:46.000 I can't.
00:06:46.000 Go back.
00:06:47.000 And experts say it's now inevitable that it will create one of the biggest icebergs ever seen. 0.99
00:06:52.000 Holy shit! 0.99
00:06:53.000 Inevitable! 1.00
00:06:53.000 The size of Jamaica. 1.00
00:06:55.000 Oh my god!
00:06:57.000 Oh my god!
00:06:58.000 Look at it!
00:06:59.000 Oh Jesus Christ!
00:07:02.000 Yeah.
00:07:03.000 It's so scary!
00:07:05.000 It would be so scary to see a floating state in the ocean.
00:07:09.000 And Fukushima, the radiation's worse than ever.
00:07:11.000 Ever.
00:07:12.000 And they don't know what to do.
00:07:13.000 They have no idea how to contain it.
00:07:15.000 Not all problems are solvable.
00:07:17.000 No.
00:07:18.000 Well, Fukushima scares the shit out of me because they don't really know how to shut off a lot of those ancient power plants.
00:07:25.000 The ones that they first created, essentially they just have to keep running. 0.99
00:07:29.000 Whoever the fuck let them do that is so crazy. 0.99
00:07:33.000 They don't know how to shut them off. 0.99
00:07:35.000 Well, see, so much of technology is based on this idea that, you know, when we face the problem, we'll have an answer to it.
00:07:42.000 You know, like, disposal of nuclear waste, right?
00:07:45.000 Well, we'll figure that out.
00:07:46.000 We'll shoot it into space, or we'll bury it in salt mines. 0.91
00:07:48.000 You know, they kind of have.
00:07:49.000 They've kind of figured out a way to turn nuclear waste into batteries.
00:07:52.000 They turn it into diamonds that last for, like...
00:07:54.000 They embed it into diamonds, and it can last...
00:07:57.000 What was it?
00:07:57.000 The technology that batteries can last thousands of years?
00:08:00.000 Really?
00:08:01.000 Oh, it's amazing.
00:08:02.000 Well, let's get on that.
00:08:04.000 Well, which podcast was it that we were doing where someone was talking about a young scientist?
00:08:08.000 Do you remember who it was?
00:08:10.000 They were talking about a young scientist that has these incredible ideas.
00:08:14.000 Yeah, I was there.
00:08:17.000 I met him.
00:08:17.000 That was the one I did in 2012 or 11. He does this little reactor in the backyard.
00:08:23.000 What's that, Jamie?
00:08:24.000 We've done too many podcasts.
00:08:25.000 Yeah, but it was fairly recently.
00:08:27.000 Just go over the fairly recent podcasts.
00:08:30.000 Vice did a thing on him.
00:08:31.000 Shane Smith.
00:08:33.000 There you go.
00:08:34.000 Perfect.
00:08:35.000 Yeah, Shane Smith from Vice.
00:08:37.000 Yeah.
00:08:38.000 So maybe he's right, or maybe people are right, that we will come up with technology that's going to be able to figure out a way to solve these problems.
00:08:44.000 Well, but it doesn't.
00:08:45.000 See, that's the thing.
00:08:46.000 Here we are, Fukushima.
00:08:47.000 We don't have the technology.
00:08:48.000 We don't know how to solve it.
00:08:50.000 And now's when we need it.
00:08:51.000 Or a year ago.
00:08:53.000 Or, you know, radioactive diamond batteries making good use of nuclear waste.
00:08:59.000 So they're going to have these diamond batteries that last for thousands of years.
00:09:04.000 Which is really incredible because what Shane Smith was saying is essentially we have enough nuclear waste to power the earth for thousands of years.
00:09:13.000 Power civilization.
00:09:14.000 We can literally stop.
00:09:15.000 We can stop all production of batteries and all the different things that we're doing.
00:09:19.000 Coal. 0.99
00:09:20.000 But here's where we get into conspiracy shit again. 0.99
00:09:22.000 They won't let us do it. 1.00
00:09:23.000 They'll shut that shit down because we'll lose jobs. 1.00
00:09:27.000 Right now they're trying to open coal mines again for fuck's sake. 1.00
00:09:31.000 You know? 0.98
00:09:31.000 Who's they? 0.98
00:09:32.000 Coal miners? 1.00
00:09:33.000 Coal mine unions and coal mine presidents and the guy, you know, Exxon.
00:09:38.000 That guy from Exxon who's going to be Secretary of State, Tillerson.
00:09:42.000 Wonderful.
00:09:42.000 That's the guy who said, what's the point of saving the earth if humans have to suffer?
00:09:47.000 Is that what he said?
00:09:48.000 Yeah.
00:09:49.000 Smart guy. 1.00
00:09:51.000 What a ridiculous person! 0.99
00:09:53.000 Anyway, so I don't want to drag us down into depression. 0.99
00:09:56.000 No, no, no, no.
00:09:56.000 This is not depressing.
00:09:58.000 I think we're right, though, that what you're saying about technology and about we're serving technology.
00:10:05.000 I mean, I've been saying this for a long time, that I essentially think that what we're doing is giving birth.
00:10:10.000 Yeah, we're a larva form.
00:10:12.000 Yeah, we're like some sort of a butterfly that's gonna, you know, emerge.
00:10:16.000 Or, you know, we will be a butterfly.
00:10:18.000 And we're a caterpillar right now.
00:10:19.000 Yeah.
00:10:19.000 And we're creating iPhones.
00:10:20.000 And I'm a caterpillar going, God damn it, I like this caterpillar stage. 0.97
00:10:25.000 I don't want to lose it. 0.98
00:10:26.000 Don't you think those single-celled organisms are like, guys, what are we doing?
00:10:29.000 We're branching out. 0.94
00:10:30.000 We're fucking joining together with other cells. 1.00
00:10:32.000 Fuck that, man. 1.00
00:10:33.000 I like being by myself. 1.00
00:10:34.000 I like being essentially immortal.
00:10:36.000 Immortal single-celled squid.
00:10:38.000 It could be. 0.99
00:10:39.000 But, you know, when your advancing stage requires the destruction of your entire environment and all the other species as well, that's kind of fucked. 1.00
00:10:48.000 It is fucked. 0.99
00:10:49.000 But I don't know if it's all the species. 1.00
00:10:51.000 I think rats will be fine.
00:10:52.000 If you watch that Netflix documentary on rats...
00:10:54.000 Yeah, no. 0.99
00:10:55.000 I saw you posted some shit and I was like, yeah, I don't want to see that. 0.99
00:10:59.000 Jesus! 0.99
00:11:00.000 It is amazing.
00:11:02.000 No, rats will be fine.
00:11:03.000 Keith Richards will be fine.
00:11:04.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:11:06.000 Cockroaches.
00:11:07.000 But, I mean, 25% of the species have gone extinct in the last generation.
00:11:12.000 Something like that.
00:11:13.000 Well, that always happens, though.
00:11:14.000 No, not at this rate.
00:11:16.000 No, I mean, this is a mass extinction event, but there's always been mass extinction events.
00:11:20.000 There's been a ton of them.
00:11:21.000 And there's 90% of everything that's ever lived is dead.
00:11:25.000 But that's obscuring the reality, right?
00:11:28.000 The rate of extinction right now due to human interventions is higher than it's been in probably hundreds of millions of years.
00:11:35.000 Young Jamie can look that up.
00:11:38.000 I don't know if that's the case.
00:11:39.000 The last major extinction event was hundreds of millions of years ago.
00:11:42.000 I think it was 65 million years ago.
00:11:44.000 I think it was the dinosaurs.
00:11:45.000 I think it was what killed off the dinosaurs.
00:11:47.000 And there was also a major extinction event in North America that coincided with the end of the Ice Age.
00:11:52.000 About 10,000 years ago.
00:11:53.000 Oh, right, which they attributed to humans.
00:11:55.000 No, no, they don't anymore.
00:11:56.000 Well, some people do, but what they're thinking now, due to a lot of geological data, is asteroidal impacts.
00:12:05.000 Oh, Randall Carson, is he on that?
00:12:07.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:12:07.000 I never bought that human thing.
00:12:09.000 I think this whole man the hunter bullshit. 1.00
00:12:12.000 They didn't even have bows and arrows. 0.99
00:12:14.000 They have atlatls.
00:12:15.000 Right.
00:12:15.000 Which are cool.
00:12:16.000 They're cool.
00:12:16.000 A pretty cool invention.
00:12:18.000 Good luck killing a fucking saber-toothed tiger with that. 1.00
00:12:20.000 And the last ones, too. 1.00
00:12:21.000 They're like five left and you're going to hunt them down and kill them? 1.00
00:12:24.000 I don't think so. 0.98
00:12:24.000 There just wasn't enough people here to do that. 0.98
00:12:26.000 Right.
00:12:27.000 And it's much more likely, considering the fact they've found these essentially like graveyards filled with woolly mammoths that died instantaneously.
00:12:34.000 Right, right.
00:12:35.000 The asteroid will impact theory.
00:12:37.000 Also, a lot of, you know, the big game died. 0.98
00:12:40.000 The giant carnivores, the big giraffes and all that shit that was here.
00:12:46.000 But also, a lot of shellfish went extinct at the same time, and snails and things like that. 0.89
00:12:51.000 Here we go.
00:12:52.000 Extinctions during human era worse than thought.
00:12:54.000 The gravity of the world's current extinction rate becomes clear upon knowing...
00:13:08.000 That's ten times worse than the old estimate of a hundred times.
00:13:11.000 Ooh.
00:13:12.000 Oh, that's not good.
00:13:13.000 And that's three years ago.
00:13:14.000 This is a three-year-old article.
00:13:16.000 Isn't that funny? 0.99
00:13:17.000 Like three years ago, people were like, yeah, this shit's old, bro. 1.00
00:13:20.000 Shit's from September, bro. 1.00
00:13:22.000 Isn't it funny? 0.99
00:13:23.000 We're moving at such a fast rate that our minds are kind of tuned into that.
00:13:27.000 And when someone shows you something that's from a year ago, you're like, bro, you're quoting a year-old stuff?
00:13:32.000 Tell me about it.
00:13:33.000 I'm trying to write a book.
00:13:35.000 Talk about an ancient technology, you know?
00:13:37.000 It's like, I'm trying not to refer to papers that were published 10 years ago, but, you know, how can you not?
00:13:43.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:13:44.000 10 years ago is nothing.
00:13:46.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.89
00:13:47.000 I mean, Darwin was a long fucking time ago. 0.59
00:13:52.000 What we're looking at is this weird, accelerated existence, and it's happening right in front of it, and we've sort of acknowledged it, but we're not recognizing it. 0.79
00:14:01.000 We've acknowledged it.
00:14:03.000 Well, we can't comprehend it.
00:14:04.000 No.
00:14:04.000 Like, we're living in a world we can't comprehend, which, again, gets back to this whole hunter-gatherer thing.
00:14:09.000 Like, they lived in a world they understood.
00:14:11.000 Right.
00:14:11.000 You know, this whole, like we assume the generational misunderstandings are sort of common human experience, but if you're a hunter-gatherer, your parents and grandparents lived in the same world you live in.
00:14:24.000 And they do now.
00:14:25.000 I mean, you saw that recently uncontacted tribe, like recently contacted tribe in Brazil.
00:14:29.000 Yeah.
00:14:30.000 It's incredible.
00:14:31.000 They're a time capsule.
00:14:34.000 They're living the way people lived 100,000 years ago.
00:14:36.000 It's amazing.
00:14:37.000 It's really cool.
00:14:39.000 The pictures are amazing.
00:14:40.000 You see these people pointing bows and arrows at helicopters.
00:14:43.000 You're like, what?
00:14:44.000 Have you ever heard...
00:14:45.000 There's a great book called At Play in the Fields of the Lord by Peter Matheson.
00:14:49.000 I've heard of it.
00:14:50.000 I've never read it.
00:14:50.000 It's a beautiful book, man.
00:14:51.000 It's a really good film, too.
00:14:53.000 Daryl Hannah, John Lithgow, Kathy Bates.
00:14:56.000 Amazing cast.
00:14:58.000 But it's about...
00:15:00.000 It's a novel, but it's about these two guys.
00:15:03.000 Oh, Tom Waits is one of the actors.
00:15:06.000 They play pilots.
00:15:06.000 They're like smugglers, whatever.
00:15:08.000 And they get hired to go in and bomb this uncontacted tribe before the missionaries make contact with them. 0.67
00:15:16.000 Because once they're contacted, then all their land gets set aside as a reserve. 0.99
00:15:20.000 And this corrupt politician wants to log in and mine and all this shit. 0.99
00:15:24.000 So he hires these two ne'er-do-wells to go in and bomb them. 1.00
00:15:29.000 I mean, I'm not ruining the story.
00:15:30.000 This is like the first 20 pages you get to set up.
00:15:33.000 And what happens is they go out and they sort of fly over the first day and they see the clearing in the jungle.
00:15:41.000 And all the Indians run into the jungle and then they're sort of flying low.
00:15:45.000 They're maybe a thousand feet up.
00:15:46.000 And this one warrior runs into the clearing and fires an arrow at the airplane. 0.99
00:15:51.000 And they're laughing like this fucking guy thinks he's going to shoot down an airplane with an arrow, you know. 0.99
00:15:55.000 And they go back to the village and one of the pilots, it's Tom Waits and... 0.99
00:15:59.000 I forget the other actor, but he plays a Navajo, and they're like Vietnam vets bombing around South America with their plane, right? 1.00
00:16:06.000 And they're back in the village, and they get shit-faced, and then the Tom Waits character goes to bed, and the other guy's still hanging out in this little bar, and somebody slips him some ayahuasca. 0.78
00:16:17.000 And so he's already drunk. 0.97
00:16:19.000 He drinks this ayahuasca.
00:16:20.000 He starts hallucinating.
00:16:22.000 He goes out, gets in the airplane...
00:16:24.000 Flies off in the airplane in the middle of the night, flies out to this spot in the jungle where they're supposed to bomb them that day.
00:16:32.000 Instead, he puts on a parachute, ditches the plane, jumps out, lands in the jungle, takes off all his clothes and his pistol, buries it in the jungle, and then walks naked into the village.
00:16:47.000 Dude, spoiler alert.
00:16:48.000 No, no, that's the beginning.
00:16:49.000 This is the beginning of the movie?
00:16:51.000 That's the beginning.
00:16:51.000 Hold on a second, I'm writing this down.
00:16:52.000 What year is it? 0.99
00:16:53.000 Damn, how young is he? 1.00
00:16:54.000 Sexy bitch, look at him. 1.00
00:16:57.000 What year was this? 1.00
00:16:58.000 The film?
00:17:00.000 91. Wow, back in the day, son.
00:17:03.000 I was fresh out of high school.
00:17:04.000 Yeah, there's John Lithgow, yeah.
00:17:06.000 Anyway, that's how it begins.
00:17:08.000 Peter Matheson's a great writer.
00:17:10.000 He was a hardcore dude, a real badass guy.
00:17:14.000 But anyway, that's how it starts.
00:17:16.000 So this guy literally goes back in time, right?
00:17:19.000 Because he's a Navajo, and when he saw that guy shoot the arrow, he sort of had this vision of how his people had lost their dignity and their culture had been destroyed, and if only they had known what they were facing, and these people in the jungle had no idea what's coming for them,
00:17:34.000 right?
00:17:35.000 And so his mission is I'm going to go back and save them because I can tell them what's coming.
00:17:40.000 I can, you know, move through worlds. 0.98
00:17:42.000 I can move back in time and it's fucking wild. 0.99
00:17:44.000 What a great plot. 0.99
00:17:46.000 Jesus Christ, I'm getting high right now. 0.99
00:17:49.000 You're getting the shit out of me. 0.99
00:17:51.000 So, L.A., man. 0.99
00:17:54.000 I'm back in L.A. Yeah, what happened?
00:17:55.000 I thought you were going to be an expat. 0.98
00:17:57.000 You're going to fucking get out of here before the big one landed. 0.99
00:17:59.000 Yeah, I'm still... 0.99
00:18:01.000 I'm watching.
00:18:02.000 I'm watching very closely.
00:18:03.000 Before it all went down.
00:18:04.000 Before they close the door, I got a way out.
00:18:07.000 What's it like coming back right at the time when Donald Trump becomes president?
00:18:10.000 It's an adventure, huh?
00:18:12.000 It's strange.
00:18:13.000 I feel like...
00:18:14.000 I was saying this on my podcast the other day.
00:18:16.000 I feel like the...
00:18:18.000 Like, you know how the solar system is moving?
00:18:21.000 You know, the whole galaxy is moving.
00:18:22.000 So there are all these zones.
00:18:24.000 I gotta be careful, man.
00:18:26.000 I'm gonna start talking about...
00:18:27.000 Don't be careful.
00:18:28.000 Don't be careful.
00:18:29.000 There's no need to be careful.
00:18:31.000 Think about Tom Waits.
00:18:33.000 Is it Tom Waits?
00:18:33.000 Is that the name of the actor?
00:18:35.000 No, that's the singer. 0.98
00:18:36.000 Tom Waits and Tom Berenger.
00:18:38.000 He's an actor or the singer?
00:18:39.000 Same guy.
00:18:40.000 The same guy?
00:18:41.000 Oh, okay.
00:18:42.000 And then Tom Berenger, who was in Saving Private Ryan, right?
00:18:45.000 Or Platoon.
00:18:46.000 Platoon.
00:18:47.000 He was the bad guy in Platoon with the scar on his face?
00:18:49.000 Yeah, I think so.
00:18:50.000 Right?
00:18:50.000 Yeah.
00:18:50.000 It was a great fucking movie.
00:18:53.000 Speaking of meteors, did you guys see this in Lake Michigan the other day? 0.99
00:18:56.000 Yeah, I did. 0.93
00:18:57.000 Yeah, a giant fucking hook of metal from the sky slammed into, or something from the sky, slammed into Lake Michigan. 0.98
00:19:04.000 Look at that. 0.98
00:19:07.000 That might have actually burnt out before it hit the ground.
00:19:10.000 So you see it kind of fizzling towards the end?
00:19:12.000 It's amazing what the atmosphere does.
00:19:15.000 Just things coming through the atmosphere.
00:19:16.000 Remember when the space shuttle lost some tiles and then burned out in the atmosphere?
00:19:21.000 I'm good, Jamie.
00:19:24.000 It's just amazing that our air, just traveling through the air at a high rate of speed, destroys things.
00:19:29.000 Just rips them apart, you know?
00:19:32.000 Burns them up.
00:19:33.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:19:34.000 Well, the threat of the impact of something that's in space is ever looming and always ignored.
00:19:42.000 I mean, we rarely think about it until something like this happens.
00:19:45.000 And I think it's just so scary that there's a part of our brain that just puts it off.
00:19:49.000 We just go...
00:19:50.000 Yeah, and then move on to the next thing.
00:19:52.000 Nothing you can do about it.
00:19:54.000 It's definitely going to happen.
00:19:56.000 It's happened before.
00:19:56.000 You look up at the moon.
00:19:58.000 There's an amazing video that Neil deGrasse Tyson posted on his Instagram page the other day, and it's a guy using a camera, and he has some incredible lens on it.
00:20:08.000 Oh, he's zooming in on it?
00:20:10.000 Yeah.
00:20:10.000 Yeah, I saw that.
00:20:11.000 It's amazing.
00:20:12.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:20:12.000 And he's got a really good camera.
00:20:15.000 By the way, that might not be Neil deGrasse Tyson's actual page.
00:20:20.000 I think it might be like a fan page.
00:20:24.000 Because it links up to Twitter, and the Twitter is Neil deGrasse Tyson fan.
00:20:28.000 So it might not be his real Instagram page.
00:20:31.000 But whatever.
00:20:31.000 It's an awesome video.
00:20:33.000 And it gets to...
00:20:36.000 Really close up.
00:20:37.000 When it gets really close up, the thing you see is just craters.
00:20:41.000 Yeah.
00:20:41.000 Everywhere.
00:20:42.000 Yeah.
00:20:42.000 Well, there's no atmosphere to protect the moon.
00:20:44.000 Exactly.
00:20:45.000 Yeah.
00:20:45.000 But then you...
00:20:46.000 Whoa! 0.71
00:20:46.000 Just dropped. 0.71
00:20:47.000 The chair just dropped. 1.00
00:20:48.000 And then you start thinking about how much shit is out there? 0.99
00:20:51.000 Like, that thing is just covered. 1.00
00:20:52.000 It's just covered with...
00:20:55.000 With these holes.
00:20:56.000 But time.
00:20:57.000 Think about how long it's been out there, too, you know?
00:21:01.000 And the one I'm worried about is the solar flare.
00:21:03.000 Oh, yeah.
00:21:04.000 You know, because that was like 1880 or something.
00:21:06.000 There was a big one in North America and it melted out the transmission cables for the, what's it called?
00:21:12.000 The click, click, click.
00:21:13.000 Morse code.
00:21:13.000 Morse code guy is the telegraph.
00:21:15.000 So when that hits, all our computers are gone.
00:21:18.000 Not just our computers, our grid.
00:21:20.000 Yeah, the transformers are out.
00:21:22.000 So they're saying if something like that does happen, and you can never predict if or when, it would take months to get power back up.
00:21:29.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:21:30.000 And people who live in Phoenix in August, they're fucked. 1.00
00:21:33.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:21:35.000 I mean, if you live in a cold place, at least you could burn wood.
00:21:39.000 I mean, people did that for a long time.
00:21:40.000 They figured out fire.
00:21:42.000 There was actually an article recently about Neanderthals, and they're trying to figure out when.
00:21:47.000 There's still a debate as to whether or not they actually knew how to make fire.
00:21:52.000 Or whether they knew how to keep it lit once they found it.
00:21:55.000 You know, that they would find it and it would be like the sacred fire and they would keep it lit, but they weren't quite smart enough to actually make it.
00:22:01.000 But now they're thinking that might not be the case.
00:22:03.000 But there's a lot of debate on that.
00:22:06.000 You've studied a lot of ancient civilizations.
00:22:09.000 How much debate is there? 0.95
00:22:12.000 Whenever I hear someone say, people definitely did this, they definitely did that, when they're looking back at evidence as far as who could handle fire, who was the first people and when did they figure it out, how do they put all that shit together? 0.91
00:22:27.000 Well, I mean, it depends on the specific case, right? 0.90
00:22:31.000 In the case of fire, what they're looking at is...
00:22:35.000 And also, because there's such a scarcity of evidence, things change really quickly, right?
00:22:41.000 Like, for a long time they thought people crossed over the first Americans or about 10,000 years ago, and now they're saying, oh, at least 14, and now they're finding places in Chile that appear to be 40,000, and now they're thinking they came over in boats, and there were several different...
00:22:58.000 We're good to go.
00:23:21.000 And then you'd look at pieces of bone or something that they were cooking.
00:23:25.000 And if you get the same area, then you can figure, okay, this wasn't a fire 10,000 years after somebody ate a rat here or something, right?
00:23:33.000 They weren't cooking it, especially if the bones show charring as well, then they're cooking the food.
00:23:38.000 But that's just in the last 15 or 20 years, the estimate of human use of fire has gone from like...
00:23:46.000 500,000 years to a million.
00:23:48.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:23:49.000 They just keep backdating things.
00:23:51.000 Yeah.
00:23:52.000 It's so fascinating.
00:23:54.000 Do you see those mounds they found in the Amazon?
00:23:57.000 Really recently, they used drones and they were getting these photographs.
00:24:01.000 Drones are satellites.
00:24:02.000 We're getting these images from space, from above rather.
00:24:05.000 Oh, that show like grids and things?
00:24:07.000 Yeah, they show all these structures that they previously never recognized, didn't notice.
00:24:12.000 Yeah.
00:24:13.000 Some of them look like Stonehenge in the same sort of shape.
00:24:16.000 Apparently there's like irrigation canals and stuff.
00:24:19.000 Yeah.
00:24:19.000 Yeah.
00:24:20.000 They have no idea.
00:24:21.000 Like, what's this?
00:24:24.000 Yeah, I have this idea.
00:24:27.000 I need a bunch of graduate students, because I have ideas for books, but I never get around to writing them.
00:24:33.000 That's the story of my life.
00:24:35.000 I need a staff.
00:24:36.000 Yeah, you should be like a guy who tells people, we need to work on this.
00:24:41.000 You're curious, but you're not disciplined.
00:24:43.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:24:44.000 Or you don't have the time, honestly.
00:24:45.000 I got ideas, Joe.
00:24:46.000 I got all the ideas.
00:24:47.000 I mean, between doing your podcast, writing your book, and living your life, how much time do you have left?
00:24:51.000 Yeah, living my life takes up a lot of time.
00:24:53.000 I like that about you.
00:24:54.000 I appreciate that about you.
00:24:56.000 I really do.
00:24:57.000 I appreciate that you have a very...
00:25:03.000 It's an intelligent, but it's an honest way of looking at time.
00:25:09.000 You don't have this overwhelming ambition, and you don't have this overwhelming desire to be recognized or anything like that.
00:25:17.000 But you do have an overwhelming desire to have fun and be comfortable and be curious. 0.98
00:25:23.000 So you're saying I'm a lazy fucking hippie is what you're saying. 0.98
00:25:25.000 I'm saying you're having a good time. 0.99
00:25:27.000 I think you might be doing it right.
00:25:29.000 I've got all the people that I know that are super smart.
00:25:31.000 You're like the least stressed, super smart dude I know.
00:25:34.000 Oh, thank you.
00:25:34.000 I appreciate that.
00:25:36.000 Can I quote you on that?
00:25:37.000 I'm going to put that on my next book.
00:25:39.000 But you are, man.
00:25:40.000 I mean, considering you're always moving around, you're always enjoying different parts of the world, you're always coming back with these crazy stories and interesting perspectives.
00:25:48.000 You've gathered up, but you don't seem stressed. 0.95
00:25:51.000 And so many people that I know that are in your intellectual realm are fucking freaking out all the time. 0.72
00:25:58.000 Yeah, I know what you mean. 0.89
00:26:00.000 I mean, if I'm stressed, it's I get stressed by my lack of stress.
00:26:05.000 That's my biggest problem, really.
00:26:08.000 Dude, I think you're built for podcasts.
00:26:10.000 I really do.
00:26:11.000 I think your mind and your curiosity, it's like you're trapped in this medium.
00:26:17.000 I mean, it's not that I don't think your book is great.
00:26:19.000 I thought Sex at Dawn was amazing.
00:26:21.000 Why do I keep coughing? 0.67
00:26:22.000 Is that the weed? 0.94
00:26:24.000 Sex at Dawn was amazing, but you're really well-suited for podcasts.
00:26:30.000 You're really well-suited for free-form conversations.
00:26:33.000 You could tell you enjoy it.
00:26:34.000 And again, it's not very stressful.
00:26:36.000 No.
00:26:37.000 That's what I love about it.
00:26:38.000 I did one last night. 0.99
00:26:39.000 I occasionally do what I call a Roma, ranting out my ass episode. 0.99
00:26:45.000 And it's where it's just me. 0.99
00:26:46.000 It's no guest, right? 0.97
00:26:47.000 So last night I did, when I'm drinking beer, I'm like reading letters from people and yeah, going off on whatever the fuck I'm going off on. 0.98
00:26:54.000 And it occurred to me later, I'm not dealing with the kind of numbers you're dealing with, but I've got a stadium of fucking people listening to me. 0.99
00:27:03.000 A fucking stadium, right? 0.99
00:27:05.000 But I am more relaxed than if I were talking to a friend on the phone. 0.99
00:27:10.000 Because I don't see anybody.
00:27:12.000 I'm just alone, drinking a beer, talking into this microphone, and I don't feel the presence of anyone listening. 0.54
00:27:19.000 So I'm totally fucking relaxed. 0.69
00:27:21.000 Sometimes to my detriment. 0.98
00:27:22.000 I probably say things I shouldn't say and share shit that I meant to keep private or whatever. 0.62
00:27:28.000 But it is a weird thing. 0.90
00:27:30.000 I mean, like, Jamie and I were talking about this earlier.
00:27:33.000 Like, when you said, hey, Chris, it's been a while.
00:27:36.000 It's like, yeah, I'm going to go hang out with my buddy Joe.
00:27:39.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:27:40.000 But there are a fucking million people hovering around here listening to us. 0.99
00:27:44.000 You know, it's really weird. 0.97
00:27:46.000 Like, 90% of my friendship with you has taken place here.
00:27:50.000 I know, right?
00:27:51.000 It's so, and it's, Duncan's the same, you know, Ari's the same, Moshe Kasher. 0.99
00:27:55.000 I've got all these friends who I only see when we're on a fucking mic.
00:27:59.000 You know, what's really interesting is Duncan and I, we were having a really hard time spending time together. 0.98
00:28:05.000 Yeah.
00:28:05.000 Because he's always busy.
00:28:06.000 We'd have a really hard time.
00:28:07.000 Only a few times we got together and just hung out as friends over the last couple of years.
00:28:11.000 But we did so many podcasts together.
00:28:14.000 It adds up.
00:28:14.000 We would get together for that, and we'd have these conversations.
00:28:17.000 Like, one thing that's unique about this form...
00:28:21.000 Is that you have these conversations that are, like, so isolated from any distraction.
00:28:25.000 And I don't think that exists anywhere else anymore.
00:28:27.000 That's a good point.
00:28:28.000 Just two people looking at each other.
00:28:29.000 That's why I don't like when people look at their phones.
00:28:31.000 I don't like when people, like, bring a laptop or something like that.
00:28:33.000 It's like, man, I try to close mine now.
00:28:36.000 I used to not.
00:28:37.000 I used to look at it.
00:28:38.000 It's not smart.
00:28:39.000 Yeah.
00:28:39.000 The smart thing to do is just put it down, and this form of conversation, I would encourage people to have podcasts, to have their own podcasts, not even if they want to release it, they don't even have to release it, but by doing it, by just the act of doing it,
00:28:54.000 you're having these conversations, these extended conversations with people, and I think it exercises your thought process in a way and the engagement process.
00:29:04.000 It focuses your mind.
00:29:05.000 People used to say, some famous writers said, I write to see what I think.
00:29:10.000 Yeah, I've heard that.
00:29:12.000 I think podcasting is sort of the same the way you're describing it.
00:29:14.000 It's true.
00:29:15.000 It's one place where we turn off all the distractions and just focus.
00:29:19.000 Yeah.
00:29:19.000 Yeah.
00:29:20.000 My plan now is to get a van.
00:29:22.000 I want to get a sprinter van and put a bed in it and a little kitchen.
00:29:26.000 Travel the country?
00:29:27.000 Travel the country doing podcasts.
00:29:28.000 Ooh, that's a great idea.
00:29:30.000 And I had this other idea. 0.98
00:29:32.000 See, you've got enough weight that people will come to you, but I don't want to do shit on Skype and phone. 0.97
00:29:38.000 Me neither. 1.00
00:29:38.000 I hate that shit. 1.00
00:29:39.000 Yeah, it feels weird, right? 1.00
00:29:40.000 Yeah, there's delays, and you're talking over each other, and you can't see the body language.
00:29:45.000 You don't know if they're disengaging from what you're talking about, or they're getting uncomfortable.
00:29:49.000 Maybe you're getting too personal.
00:29:50.000 I really like being in a room with somebody.
00:29:53.000 Also, the kind of people that I have on my podcast are...
00:29:56.000 Like you, they're people you want to know. 0.98
00:29:58.000 They're interesting fucking people, you know? 0.97
00:30:00.000 So I want to, like, hang out and meet their friends and meet the husband or the wife and the kids and, you know, sit in the driveway in my van for a few days and get to know the crowd. 0.99
00:30:10.000 And I was thinking I'd love to meet, what's his name down in Bisbee, your buddy?
00:30:15.000 Doug Sano?
00:30:16.000 Yeah.
00:30:17.000 I'd love to meet Doug and Bimbo.
00:30:19.000 Not Bimbo. 1.00
00:30:20.000 Sorry.
00:30:21.000 Bingo!
00:30:21.000 Bingo!
00:30:22.000 Yeah, you'd love them.
00:30:24.000 My buddy, Jake Johanson, do you know him?
00:30:27.000 Comedian?
00:30:28.000 Sure!
00:30:28.000 Love Jake.
00:30:29.000 Jake's a great guy.
00:30:29.000 So I was at his house, and we were talking about how comics think differently, because I was like, I love hanging with you guys, because nobody gets offended about anything.
00:30:37.000 You can just say whatever the fuck comes out of your head, out of your mind. 0.98
00:30:40.000 Right. 0.98
00:30:41.000 And he was like, we were talking about podcasts, and I said something about Stan Hope, and he's like, dude, you've got to listen to the Cliffhanger episodes.
00:30:49.000 Have you heard those?
00:30:50.000 No.
00:30:51.000 What did he do?
00:30:55.000 Oh my god.
00:30:56.000 It was like three years ago.
00:30:59.000 I went back into the archives and found them.
00:31:02.000 It was this thing where he has this couple living in the house, in the backyard.
00:31:08.000 And like they'd met by chance and then it turned out that he had fucked the woman 15 years earlier after a gig in Reno or something.
00:31:17.000 And so now she's with her boyfriend and they're living in the backyard and they're all buddies. 0.57
00:31:22.000 And the four of them are all the two couples, I guess, had a sexual thing and it was all cool.
00:31:27.000 And it was just really beautiful.
00:31:29.000 And they're talking about how they met in the history of the relationship and all that.
00:31:33.000 The boyfriend's there.
00:31:34.000 The girlfriend's not there.
00:31:35.000 It turns out the girlfriend's in the hospital about to have open heart surgery.
00:31:39.000 That was the cliffhanger. 1.00
00:31:40.000 Holy shit. 0.99
00:31:41.000 So at the end of this hour and a half, two hour conversation where they're talking about this relationship, it turns out she's going to have open heart surgery. 1.00
00:31:51.000 She might be dead, folks. 0.98
00:31:52.000 Tune in next week to find out if she's dead.
00:31:54.000 And they're laughing.
00:31:56.000 But they're laughing.
00:31:57.000 And this was Jake's point.
00:32:00.000 They're processing grief through laughter.
00:32:03.000 Yeah.
00:32:04.000 And there is nothing.
00:32:05.000 And they're not denying how intense and sad and scared they are.
00:32:11.000 Right.
00:32:11.000 But they're still laughing.
00:32:13.000 Isn't it funny that grief over death is one of the few things where we demand you behave a certain way?
00:32:20.000 Well, they're Irish wakes, right? 0.75
00:32:21.000 Where everybody gets drunk and laughs.
00:32:23.000 Yeah, but...
00:32:24.000 And tells crazy bawdy stories about the dead guy.
00:32:27.000 That's how you celebrate the life.
00:32:29.000 Wow.
00:32:29.000 Hmm, that's a good way.
00:32:31.000 Yeah.
00:32:31.000 I think it's a very, this imposed sadness, this sort of seriousness, I think is very sort of Protestant.
00:32:39.000 Yeah, there's a little bit of that, but there's also, I think we want to know who feels bad.
00:32:43.000 You know, because if you don't feel bad, like tribally, I think that's a very dangerous person to have around.
00:32:48.000 Like, say, if you die...
00:32:49.000 Oh, it's like a psychopath filter or something?
00:32:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:32:52.000 I really think there might be something to that.
00:32:54.000 Like, we might enforce it, and there might be, like, this urge and instinct to enforce extreme grief, because we feel like people who don't feel that are either not on my team, really didn't care about the person that I cared about, or might be a psycho.
00:33:09.000 Right.
00:33:09.000 Right?
00:33:10.000 Interestingly, some cultures have professional mourners.
00:33:14.000 They teach you how?
00:33:16.000 Japan.
00:33:17.000 No, you pay them to come to the funeral.
00:33:19.000 Oh, no!
00:33:20.000 And they'll wail and scream and cry and they'll express the emotion so the other people can just sort of chill and go to the buffet.
00:33:28.000 Did you see after Kim Jong-il died in North Korea that people were being punished because they didn't mourn hard enough?
00:33:37.000 They got six-month jail sentences.
00:33:39.000 Oh, man.
00:33:40.000 Because they didn't mourn hard enough and they were just the worst fake acting like all throughout the streets and they're filming it for their propaganda films.
00:33:48.000 But it's like, see if you can pull some of it up.
00:33:50.000 It's kind of hilarious.
00:33:52.000 It's hilarious and terrifying.
00:33:54.000 North Korea terrifies me.
00:33:56.000 And one of the things that terrifies me the most about it is that it is in our face every day, direct evidence that things could go terribly wrong at any point in time with human beings.
00:34:07.000 And we got so fucking lucky that we're born, wherever you are that you can listen to this and not have to worry about being locked up for possessing it, whether it's in England or Norway or Canada or wherever you're listening to this.
00:34:20.000 We got so lucky! 0.98
00:34:22.000 You could have easily been born in North Korea. 0.86
00:34:24.000 Any of us can have been born in a prison in North Korea where you're born as a prisoner and you'll die as a prisoner.
00:34:30.000 And that's going on right now. 0.99
00:34:32.000 In 2017, there is a fucking military dictatorship. 1.00
00:34:36.000 And they're killing people and imprisoning people. 1.00
00:34:39.000 And the lights are off at night when you fly over it.
00:34:42.000 They take satellite footage of it.
00:34:44.000 You see the lights are all off.
00:34:46.000 Look at these people wailing on the street. 0.96
00:34:49.000 I mean, it is fucking uber bizarre. 0.99
00:34:53.000 They're all on their knees, wailing, but not a goddamn tear to be seen. 0.99
00:34:58.000 They're just throwing their... 0.97
00:35:01.000 I mean, they're probably scared that they're going to be beaten if they don't wail hard enough, so they're scared of that.
00:35:06.000 Well, that'll make you cry.
00:35:07.000 Forces the emotion.
00:35:08.000 But it is unbelievable that human beings, no different than us, there's no difference between them and us.
00:35:14.000 They're just there.
00:35:16.000 Yeah.
00:35:17.000 That guy could be your neighbor.
00:35:18.000 Like, one of those people wailing could be, you know, Francis, your neighbor, and he could be this awesome guy like, dude, what's up, man?
00:35:24.000 How are you?
00:35:25.000 Oh, everything's good, you know, blah, blah, blah.
00:35:27.000 Same guy!
00:35:28.000 Could be the same guy, just got born in a better, better spot.
00:35:31.000 These are all women, oddly enough. 0.96
00:35:34.000 This is all women wailing. 1.00
00:35:36.000 Oh, there's some men. 1.00
00:35:36.000 Oh, they have to separate so they don't fuck while they're crying. 1.00
00:35:40.000 They don't want any fucking monkey business while you're screaming. 1.00
00:35:43.000 Look at these guys crying. 1.00
00:35:45.000 Look at them.
00:35:46.000 It's so strange. 0.99
00:35:48.000 It's fucking so strange. 0.97
00:35:50.000 But this is happening today. 0.98
00:35:53.000 So...
00:35:53.000 I understand this is a different part of the world, but we have to all recognize that it's just dumb luck that we were born here.
00:36:01.000 Because there's these systems that exist whenever you have gigantic groups of people that are at least fairly isolated.
00:36:09.000 And these systems, these operating systems, they get enforced.
00:36:13.000 And it doesn't matter where they are.
00:36:15.000 Once they get enforced, they're super difficult to break.
00:36:18.000 Like, those Surrey women who cut their lip and stick those plates in them and stretch their lips out and do... 1.00
00:36:25.000 Like, that's a part of a system that exists in that area.
00:36:29.000 And that system is...
00:36:31.000 Women are trying to get away from it now. 1.00
00:36:33.000 And a lot of women are like, I don't want to slobber all the time. 1.00
00:36:35.000 I don't want to knock my teeth out to put some fucking... 1.00
00:36:38.000 Dude, I heard of a tribe where women laser the hair off their pussies. 1.00
00:36:45.000 Oh, I heard about that one. 0.99
00:36:46.000 Sometimes they wax it, right?
00:36:48.000 And they used to just shave it.
00:36:49.000 Exactly.
00:36:50.000 They used to just shave it.
00:36:51.000 They're scared of it.
00:36:51.000 And they wear these shoes with like a big spike on the back so they can't walk.
00:36:55.000 They can't walk.
00:36:55.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:36:56.000 It's incredible the things people will do.
00:36:58.000 And the women wear these like really short skirts. 1.00
00:37:01.000 I described like Megyn Kelly's outfit in my bit. 0.84
00:37:04.000 There's a bit I'm working on right now that I talk about. 0.99
00:37:06.000 What she's wearing is basically a vagina curtain. 1.00
00:37:09.000 Yeah, I saw your bit the other night of that thing. 0.99
00:37:11.000 It literally is what it is.
00:37:13.000 I mean, it's just these beautiful women on TV, on the news, and they're wearing something that just... 1.00
00:37:18.000 You know, you could lift that up and fuck her with it. 1.00
00:37:21.000 That's part of the game. 1.00
00:37:22.000 That's what a skirt is. 1.00
00:37:24.000 That's the whole point of it.
00:37:25.000 That's why that Fatal Attraction scene with Susan... 0.98
00:37:28.000 What was her name?
00:37:29.000 Not Susan.
00:37:30.000 Sharon Stone.
00:37:31.000 That's why it was so impactful because we've all imagined that a million times, you know?
00:37:35.000 Yeah.
00:37:37.000 Look at that. 0.99
00:37:39.000 Kit the fuck out of Dodge! 0.97
00:37:41.000 It's just a shadow. 0.99
00:37:43.000 If she didn't have that clipboard there blocking the light, the glorious light, look at this.
00:37:48.000 This is crazy, man.
00:37:49.000 That's a crazy outfit. 0.99
00:37:52.000 That is a sex outfit. 1.00
00:37:54.000 And I like her.
00:37:55.000 I think she's very smart.
00:37:56.000 She's a very interesting woman.
00:37:58.000 And I'm curious to see what happens to her now that she's at NBC. Maybe she'll come on the Joe Rogan experience.
00:38:03.000 I don't want to be cross from her.
00:38:05.000 I'll stammer.
00:38:05.000 You stammer?
00:38:06.000 I'll panic.
00:38:07.000 You can do it from a remote location?
00:38:09.000 Yeah, we'd have to do that one by Skype.
00:38:10.000 Call me in.
00:38:11.000 I'll guest host.
00:38:12.000 I can handle it.
00:38:13.000 I can do it.
00:38:13.000 I have a thing for ice princesses.
00:38:15.000 As long as I don't get high.
00:38:18.000 Do you like the ice princess?
00:38:19.000 There's something about me that I think that I like are very powerful, articulate women like that.
00:38:25.000 It's very, very exciting.
00:38:26.000 Well, see, because that's it.
00:38:27.000 You're the opposite of me.
00:38:29.000 You were saying I'm like the stress-free kind of guy.
00:38:31.000 You're all about the challenge.
00:38:33.000 Only some... 0.99
00:38:34.000 I'm not trying to fuck or anything like that. 0.99
00:38:36.000 Not that kind of challenge, but I'm fascinated. 0.97
00:38:38.000 No, I mean, in general.
00:38:38.000 Like, you came here from working out.
00:38:40.000 Yeah.
00:38:41.000 Right?
00:38:41.000 Because it's funny.
00:38:44.000 You talked about my life being like this sort of carefree, easygoing thing.
00:38:47.000 I think of you.
00:38:48.000 You're like...
00:38:49.000 You're like the Martha Stewart of men or something.
00:38:51.000 You do everything.
00:38:53.000 How do you do?
00:38:54.000 You're living...
00:38:54.000 I drop your name occasionally and someone will be like, oh, the podcast guy.
00:38:59.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:38:59.000 And his friend will go, wait, I thought he was the UFC guy.
00:39:02.000 Yeah, yeah, that too.
00:39:03.000 But wait, isn't he the...
00:39:05.000 Like you have nine lives and you're living them all. 0.99
00:39:07.000 How the fuck do you do that? 0.99
00:39:08.000 I don't know. 1.00
00:39:09.000 You're like Mr. Efficiency.
00:39:10.000 You never sleep.
00:39:11.000 Plus you're a father, you're a husband.
00:39:13.000 I do all that stuff.
00:39:14.000 I think it's an illusion that it takes more time than it does with all the stuff that I do.
00:39:20.000 So do you ever just chill? 1.00
00:39:23.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00
00:39:23.000 Really? 1.00
00:39:24.000 I chill when I watch like documentaries and shit. 0.99
00:39:25.000 But see, that's not chilling. 0.99
00:39:26.000 That's watching documentary.
00:39:27.000 That's how I chill.
00:39:27.000 I can't chill, chill, chill, chill.
00:39:29.000 You don't just get in your hammock and put your hands behind your head and go...
00:39:33.000 Nope.
00:39:34.000 You never do that.
00:39:35.000 My brain doesn't work like that.
00:39:36.000 My brain's like, okay, we've got to do something.
00:39:39.000 Come on, figure it out.
00:39:40.000 How long is your shower?
00:39:41.000 I love showers.
00:39:42.000 You take long ones?
00:39:44.000 Yeah, like a nice 10-minute hot shower.
00:39:45.000 Oh, okay.
00:39:46.000 So much pleasure in showers, dude. 1.00
00:39:47.000 You have a good shit and a shower, and that's your chill time. 1.00
00:39:50.000 I went to Alaska, to Prince of Wales. 1.00
00:39:54.000 No.
00:39:55.000 Yeah.
00:39:56.000 Yeah, Prince of Wales Island.
00:39:57.000 And it is this unbelievably wet spot.
00:40:01.000 And it rains there more than, I think, anywhere else in North America.
00:40:06.000 It's incredible.
00:40:08.000 I mean, it's just constantly drenched with rain.
00:40:10.000 Southeast?
00:40:11.000 I don't know.
00:40:11.000 I don't know where it is geographically.
00:40:14.000 I flew in for this TV show, Meat Eater, with my friend Steven Rinella and my friend Brian Callan and Giannis Putelis, and we went to this island.
00:40:21.000 It was amazing.
00:40:22.000 It was an amazing experience.
00:40:23.000 So beautiful and so remote and so crazy, and it wasn't even a successful hunting trip, but it was amazing.
00:40:28.000 The experience was amazing.
00:40:29.000 But one of the most amazing things about it was that I was wet and uncomfortable in this weird sort of environment where you never really get dry because it's constantly raining.
00:40:39.000 For five or six days.
00:40:40.000 And then when I got home, I was so happy.
00:40:45.000 I was so happy.
00:40:46.000 I was happy in a way that I had never been before.
00:40:49.000 In a way, during a regular day, just driving down the street to the studio and coming in and hanging out with Jamie and doing a podcast.
00:40:56.000 And I just felt so good.
00:40:59.000 I felt so good.
00:41:00.000 You felt good to be back?
00:41:01.000 Not just that.
00:41:03.000 You were out.
00:41:04.000 See, it wasn't, I feel good to be back.
00:41:06.000 It was, I feel good.
00:41:07.000 I feel really good.
00:41:09.000 And I think that, especially for California, the weather here is so goddamn good that we have a few days where it rains and people literally start to complain.
00:41:19.000 And I'm like, do you know how crazy it is that you're complaining that it rains maybe 10 days a year out of 365? 0.97
00:41:27.000 And the fucking light is so beautiful after the rain. 0.99
00:41:30.000 It's amazing. 0.99
00:41:30.000 It's so clear. 0.99
00:41:31.000 It's amazing.
00:41:33.000 There's no bugs, okay?
00:41:35.000 I mean, this place is so easy to get by with.
00:41:37.000 There's very little wildlife that we're ever concerned with.
00:41:40.000 We just live this idyllic, what's the word?
00:41:44.000 Idyllic.
00:41:45.000 Idyllic?
00:41:45.000 It sounds wrong, though, doesn't it?
00:41:46.000 Well, it's an idol.
00:41:47.000 It's not an idol, it's an idyll.
00:41:49.000 We live a fairytale life, you know, for anyone else anywhere in the world.
00:41:53.000 And I think just coming here from the rain-soaked island, like as I was driving around, I would realize like, oh, at least for me, I have to go through some intense struggle to appreciate normal existence.
00:42:10.000 There is no yang without yin, for me, for sure. 0.89
00:42:13.000 And there's no comfort without discomfort. 0.99
00:42:16.000 So for me to be happy and calm and sit here and talk to you, I gotta beat the fucking shit out of a heavy bag for an hour. 0.99
00:42:24.000 See, I wish I had that. 1.00
00:42:25.000 Do rounds and wail on that thing.
00:42:27.000 I wish I had that hunger, that need.
00:42:29.000 I've got friends who are like, I can't relax if I don't run three miles a day. 0.99
00:42:33.000 Like, fuck, I wish I had that. 0.99
00:42:35.000 I can get out of bed and go right to the hammock. 1.00
00:42:38.000 I'm fine.
00:42:39.000 I don't need to do anything.
00:42:41.000 It's good.
00:42:41.000 It's good that you can do that.
00:42:42.000 Well, but it is and it isn't. 0.98
00:42:44.000 See, I don't get shit done. 0.98
00:42:45.000 I need more of that because I'd get more shit done. 0.99
00:42:49.000 But then it's like, why get shit done? 0.97
00:42:51.000 What am I trying to get to if I'm already there? 1.00
00:42:54.000 That's why I think podcasts are your shit. 1.00
00:42:56.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:42:57.000 Because podcasts, you can just...
00:42:58.000 It's got to be effortless.
00:42:58.000 Effortless.
00:42:59.000 Just turn it on and do it.
00:43:00.000 And maybe the way you're doing it with that ranting, the Roma one. 1.00
00:43:04.000 Yeah.
00:43:04.000 That's a great idea.
00:43:05.000 Bill Burr does that, and it's incredibly entertaining.
00:43:08.000 Yeah.
00:43:08.000 Bill Burr's podcast, one of the best podcasts you'll ever listen to, and it's always just him.
00:43:11.000 I always watch when he's on your show.
00:43:13.000 You guys have a good thing.
00:43:14.000 I love him.
00:43:15.000 He's amazing.
00:43:16.000 And his new comedy Netflix special, rather, is out now.
00:43:19.000 It's called Walk Your Way Out.
00:43:21.000 It's out right now. 0.88
00:43:22.000 I haven't seen it yet, but I saw him do all that material, so I'm sure it's going to be fucking amazing.
00:43:26.000 Yeah, he's great.
00:43:27.000 Yeah, he's, you know...
00:43:29.000 He's a hard worker, too.
00:43:30.000 That guy, he works on F is for Family.
00:43:33.000 He's got his own animated show.
00:43:35.000 He works on that.
00:43:36.000 Works on a stand-up.
00:43:37.000 Does his podcast twice a week by himself.
00:43:39.000 He just had a kid recently?
00:43:40.000 Just had a kid.
00:43:41.000 Very, very recently.
00:43:42.000 He's got a whole intense family thing going on.
00:43:44.000 Yep.
00:43:44.000 A lot going on.
00:43:45.000 Great guy.
00:43:46.000 Just a great guy.
00:43:48.000 It is funny.
00:43:49.000 I mean, Jamie and I were talking about this earlier, how, like, L.A. I've been here a couple months now, so I'm sort of getting my head back into it.
00:43:56.000 Everything's the opposite here.
00:43:57.000 Like, even to the point where people think, like, oh, you're living in L.A., they're picturing Hollywood. 0.95
00:44:02.000 Where you live and where I live, it's fucking owls and coyotes, and it's like, it doesn't look like L.A. Especially where you live. 0.98
00:44:08.000 Where you live is, like, one of the most awesome spots around.
00:44:11.000 I love it up there, man. 0.97
00:44:12.000 It's ridiculous. 0.93
00:44:12.000 It's like Montana or something. 0.93
00:44:14.000 Yeah, it's crazy.
00:44:14.000 It's beautiful.
00:44:16.000 A lot of hippies, though.
00:44:17.000 A lot of hippies, but you don't see them.
00:44:19.000 They smell.
00:44:20.000 Dude, I was walking, but there's a lot of fresh air.
00:44:24.000 They're outdoors. 0.99
00:44:25.000 It's like a dirty dog. 0.99
00:44:26.000 It doesn't offend you. 0.99
00:44:27.000 You don't get that close to it.
00:44:28.000 Exactly.
00:44:29.000 I was hiking up in the hills in Topanga a couple weeks ago, and I'm sitting there on this trail, taking in the view, and I hear these two guys coming up the trail, and they can't see me because it's a curve.
00:44:42.000 And they're talking and the one guy says, so are you feeling anything yet?
00:44:50.000 And the other guy's like, well, my legs feel a little funny, but you know. 1.00
00:44:53.000 So either he took Viagra and they're going to go to the woods to fuck. 1.00
00:44:58.000 See, that didn't even occur to me, Joe. 1.00
00:44:59.000 I don't know.
00:45:00.000 I don't know why it occurred to you.
00:45:02.000 You ready to do this or what, bro?
00:45:04.000 You feeling anything yet?
00:45:05.000 You loosening up? 0.95
00:45:06.000 Yeah, it was a bit that I used to do about edibles, where it was like the worst thing you could ever hear someone say after they take an edible is, I don't feel shit.
00:45:13.000 I'm going to take another one.
00:45:14.000 Yeah, no, don't do that.
00:45:16.000 It's always the case, right?
00:45:17.000 When people just, you feel it?
00:45:19.000 Not really.
00:45:20.000 You want to go one more? 1.00
00:45:21.000 Yeah, fuck it. 1.00
00:45:22.000 And then an hour and a half later, you're in terror. 1.00
00:45:24.000 Just a deep, deep state of terror.
00:45:26.000 Yeah.
00:45:27.000 Yeah.
00:45:27.000 I was called in to consult on a case in Spain with a guy that was in a mental hospital.
00:45:34.000 And the psychiatrist who was treating him was a friend of mine and knew that I took a lot of drugs.
00:45:41.000 And this guy hadn't taken any drugs.
00:45:44.000 So he's like, could you just come in and talk to this guy and see what you think?
00:45:48.000 So I meet with the guy, and I'm like, so what's your story, man?
00:45:50.000 He's like, well, look, I was in Amsterdam.
00:45:53.000 I ate a brownie, and I wasn't feeling anything, and so then I took these mushrooms, and next thing I know, I woke up, I was in a jail cell, naked, and I started walking down this,
00:46:08.000 apparently, they told me I was screaming and singing, and I was like, so, but are you alright, man?
00:46:13.000 He's like, yeah, I'm fine, but everyone thinks I'm crazy, because of this thing, and it's just like, I keep telling them it's no big deal.
00:46:20.000 It's like the guy from the Tom Barringer movie.
00:46:24.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:46:26.000 So I talked to my friend.
00:46:27.000 I'm like, the guy's fine.
00:46:28.000 The guy's not crazy. 1.00
00:46:29.000 He just ate too many fucking brownies in Amsterdam. 1.00
00:46:32.000 It happens to everybody eventually. 1.00
00:46:34.000 Yeah, if you eat brownies, like too many brownies and mushrooms together.
00:46:37.000 Yeah, that's not good.
00:46:39.000 But they work together, though.
00:46:40.000 That's one of the interesting things about marijuana and psilocybin.
00:46:43.000 They're very complimentary.
00:46:44.000 That was what McKenna used to do when he would take a mushroom trip.
00:46:47.000 He would eat the mushroom.
00:46:50.000 And then he would wait for it to kick in.
00:46:53.000 And while he was waiting for it to kick in, he would roll joints.
00:46:56.000 And so he would just roll a shitload of joints and then just start smashing the joints.
00:47:01.000 And then the marijuana would sort of like reach out and grab the psilocybin and embrace it and just create this tornado of awesomeness.
00:47:10.000 And that's how he used to trip.
00:47:12.000 And he used to do it by himself.
00:47:14.000 McKenna's thing was about silent darkness.
00:47:17.000 Really concerned with experiencing the psychedelic state in a very undisturbed manner.
00:47:25.000 Like, to him, the idea of taking mushrooms and going to an amusement park was insane.
00:47:30.000 He had no desire to do anything like that.
00:47:32.000 He just wanted to figure out, and I think, what is the quote?
00:47:37.000 Each time he would try to see how much more he could stand.
00:47:44.000 And he would do that for a while.
00:47:45.000 Maybe he was describing another guy when he was talking about that, now that I think about it.
00:47:49.000 But he was like a proponent of five dried grams.
00:47:54.000 He called it heroic dose. 0.99
00:47:56.000 Yeah, that fucking heroic dose got me in trouble. 0.99
00:48:01.000 I was reading McKenna and I got this acid from a friend of mine. 0.99
00:48:08.000 I can't talk about where it came from, but it was like one of these sources where it's like, holy shit, like, really? 0.98
00:48:14.000 From that source? 0.98
00:48:15.000 Okay.
00:48:16.000 Right from Albert Hoffman's lab.
00:48:17.000 Pretty much, that kind of thing, yeah.
00:48:19.000 Because I used to be very embedded in that world of scientists who were doing hallucinogenic research and stuff.
00:48:27.000 Right.
00:48:27.000 Anyway, so I can't tell the whole story, but I decided to take a heroic dose because it was like, I'm not going to do a lot more acid in my life.
00:48:36.000 Might as well go out with a bang.
00:48:37.000 And I took the stuff.
00:48:39.000 How much did you take?
00:48:40.000 Well, it was liquid.
00:48:43.000 Funnily enough, what happened was this psychiatrist who was a friend of mine, he hadn't done any drugs since the 60s.
00:48:51.000 Back in the days when you could order acid from Sandoz and they'd send it to you.
00:48:55.000 Jesus Christ!
00:48:56.000 Right.
00:48:57.000 How long did that last?
00:48:58.000 That lasted till it was made illegal in 64 or something like that.
00:49:03.000 I thought it was all...
00:49:04.000 Didn't LSD go down with that sweeping psychedelics acts of 1970?
00:49:09.000 Could have been later.
00:49:11.000 Was that maybe LSD went down before that and psilocybin went on afterwards?
00:49:15.000 I don't know.
00:49:15.000 I don't know.
00:49:16.000 There was a bunch of them that were made illegal in 70, right?
00:49:19.000 Even ones that aren't even psychoactive.
00:49:21.000 Under Nixon.
00:49:22.000 Yeah.
00:49:22.000 Well, in any case, LSD was marketed to doctors and to psychiatrists and psychologists who would take it in order to experience psychosis so they could better treat their patients.
00:49:40.000 It was called a psychotomimetic.
00:49:43.000 So you could just order it and take it and like, oh, this is what it's like to be psychotic and now I can understand better.
00:49:49.000 But you think about, I mean, from a medical perspective, think about the nobility of that.
00:49:54.000 Like, what a cool doctor.
00:49:57.000 And what an interesting time where it was like, hey, we all need to experience nine hours of insanity so that we'll be better psychiatrists. 0.97
00:50:05.000 That's a pretty fucking cool thing. 0.91
00:50:07.000 That is very cool. 0.98
00:50:08.000 It's a very cool way of looking at it, right?
00:50:10.000 Yeah, it's a lifeguard who jumps into the water, not a lifeguard who stands on the beach and throws you a pill, you know?
00:50:15.000 Yeah, if you talk to a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist doesn't have any psychedelic experiences, You can understand it, because, you know, especially if you're an academic, you want to be respected.
00:50:26.000 Psychedelic experiences, for the most part, are illegal.
00:50:29.000 And, you know, people get weird about it.
00:50:31.000 And I can understand wanting to keep it under wraps.
00:50:33.000 But if you're not really interested in it at all, how much are you studying the mind?
00:50:39.000 Exactly.
00:50:40.000 And you're not, experiential evidence isn't valid?
00:50:44.000 I mean, come on.
00:50:45.000 It's very valid.
00:50:46.000 We know that there's some extreme effects that happen with some very potent psychedelics like, what is it, sage?
00:50:55.000 What is it called?
00:50:57.000 What do they call it?
00:50:57.000 Salvia.
00:50:58.000 Salvia.
00:50:58.000 Salvia divinorum, which is essentially sage, right?
00:51:01.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:51:01.000 That stuff will blow your fucking mind. 1.00
00:51:05.000 And that shit was available in head shops just a few years ago. 1.00
00:51:09.000 It is one of the most potent psychedelics known to man. 1.00
00:51:14.000 I think it was Ari, he did it, and he had a life.
00:51:20.000 He lived a whole life.
00:51:23.000 Like three years he felt like he lived a life.
00:51:26.000 He had friends, he had girlfriends, he broke up with them, he had jobs, like the whole deal.
00:51:32.000 The Matrix.
00:51:32.000 And then he came back and he was only gone for like ten minutes on this couch on a Salvia trip.
00:51:38.000 Did we isolate that in a clip?
00:51:40.000 Is that what you're looking for?
00:51:42.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:51:43.000 Yeah.
00:51:43.000 There's a clip of him doing it, and then he talked about what happened later, I think it was with you, maybe on one of Duncan's podcasts, but here's the clip of him doing it.
00:51:52.000 Yeah.
00:51:53.000 So I'm like one of Brian's old podcasts.
00:51:54.000 Yeah, it says Naughty Show, Sam Tripoli's podcast on Brian's Death Squad Network.
00:52:00.000 And so he, Ari's, so he's gone there.
00:52:08.000 And they're all laughing and talking, hee-hee-ha-ha, while this guy's tripping his balls off like he's in another dimension.
00:52:15.000 Sam, get ready to grab him. 0.95
00:52:17.000 I don't know, man.
00:52:19.000 Just take him out.
00:52:20.000 Please do it, please.
00:52:27.000 I'm not joking.
00:52:28.000 Seriously, I'm not joking.
00:52:38.000 Ari, you're fine, buddy.
00:52:41.000 Ari, you're okay, buddy.
00:52:44.000 They need to just get away from him and leave him alone.
00:52:49.000 Oh my god, he was tripping so hard.
00:52:54.000 Did he think he was like suffocating or something?
00:52:56.000 I don't know.
00:52:57.000 He explains it during that podcast.
00:52:59.000 Yeah, during the podcast he explained it.
00:53:01.000 He's suffering there.
00:53:01.000 But what happened, I think is they just probably talking too much and he probably snapped out of it and he was in the middle of this haze of reality and illusion.
00:53:10.000 I think doing something like that, like you got to be around people who are going to be quiet.
00:53:13.000 You know, when you do it, you know, they're quiet.
00:53:16.000 When they do it, you're quiet and you'll just sit there and Yeah.
00:53:20.000 After I saw you, I saw you about a year ago, I think.
00:53:23.000 I went from here to Mexico.
00:53:24.000 I went to that Ibogaine clinic in Tijuana.
00:53:27.000 Oh, you did, huh?
00:53:28.000 How was that?
00:53:29.000 I didn't do the experience.
00:53:30.000 I was just there.
00:53:31.000 Just wanted to see what it was like?
00:53:31.000 Yeah, I was doing a podcast with the doctor who works there.
00:53:35.000 And I met some people down there who had 5-MeO-DMT, the cane toad, or the toad thing.
00:53:43.000 And I did that.
00:53:45.000 That was really intense.
00:53:47.000 I'd never done DMT before.
00:53:49.000 I'd done ayahuasca, but never smoked DMT. 5-MeO is the really weird stuff, because it's very empty.
00:53:54.000 You go away.
00:53:56.000 You go to the center of the universe, you become everything.
00:54:00.000 I guess.
00:54:01.000 How much of a dose did you get?
00:54:04.000 Did you blast off?
00:54:05.000 I don't know.
00:54:05.000 I blasted off, yeah.
00:54:06.000 Did you feel like that?
00:54:08.000 Like you were gone? 0.98
00:54:09.000 The first few minutes, or who knows how many minutes or time, whatever, but the first period Yeah, there was that sort of ego dissolution where it's not me having this experience, it's just fucking experience. 0.99
00:54:25.000 It's just what it is, just colors and shapes and wow, holy fuck. 0.97
00:54:30.000 But then in my case, and this just reminded me of it watching Ari there, in my case what happened was I got overwhelmed by sadness. 0.98
00:54:41.000 Because some people I'm close to are going through really heavy shit in the last couple of years and You know, you sort of, you feel compassion and you check in with them and you, compassion literally means to feel together, right?
00:54:55.000 And so you feel it with them, but on another level it's like, I'm not the one who's got MS, you know? 0.99
00:55:01.000 I'm not the one who's, you know, got chronic pain and, you know, suffering all this shit. 0.93
00:55:05.000 So there's a separation, but what I experienced with that was the absence of separation. 0.93
00:55:09.000 And I was just immersed in the sadness of people I love and seeing them suffering and not being able to help them.
00:55:16.000 And it was overwhelming, man.
00:55:18.000 I mean, I cried like a baby, literally.
00:55:20.000 Wow.
00:55:21.000 And then I started coming out of it.
00:55:25.000 And the room was quiet and it was candlelight and all this.
00:55:27.000 And the person who was sort of overseeing it was really nice and, you know, sort of, okay, you're starting to feel better now and here's a tissue and whatever.
00:55:36.000 And then this music came on.
00:55:38.000 And my first thought, my first conscious thought was, remember when I write the Yelp review of this experience to mention that the music should be different.
00:55:52.000 What?
00:55:54.000 Wow. 1.00
00:55:54.000 Because the music sucked. 1.00
00:55:56.000 It was this bullshit, new age shit music. 1.00
00:55:59.000 And I was like, if you're going to play music, play some fucking Bach or something. 1.00
00:56:03.000 Don't play some Yanni or whatever the fuck this is. 1.00
00:56:06.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:56:07.000 Because, you know, not that I use Yelp a lot, but it was just sort of like, you know, remember to mention this.
00:56:13.000 This could improve the experience for other people.
00:56:16.000 What a weird way of thinking.
00:56:18.000 That's a very weird way of thinking. 0.99
00:56:21.000 So I had this super profound experience encased in the most trivial bullshit imaginable, I guess. 0.94
00:56:26.000 Stan Hope did that 5-MEO DMT back when you could buy it online. 0.95
00:56:32.000 Yeah.
00:56:33.000 And he did it at my place.
00:56:34.000 We did it together.
00:56:35.000 But he had never done it before.
00:56:36.000 I had done it a few times.
00:56:38.000 When he and I did it and he did it and I've never seen anybody get hit by it harder like he Literally he was like slumped on my couch and he was making he was groaning like It was it was disturbing it was it was so it was so extreme that I was wondering like I knew that this is like something that the human body makes I knew that it's one of the most transient drugs ever observed in the body your body brings it back To baseline really quickly.
00:57:09.000 But not at that dosage.
00:57:10.000 But I don't know how much he...
00:57:11.000 He didn't take that much.
00:57:13.000 He didn't take any more than I took. 1.00
00:57:15.000 But it hit him like a goddamn Mack truck. 0.99
00:57:19.000 And he came out of it, and he just kept saying, life just becomes life, and then eats life and becomes life, and just, life just becomes life. 0.99
00:57:30.000 It just goes on, it just goes on, it just goes on.
00:57:33.000 There's no denying that.
00:57:34.000 And he's just looking at me like, wow. 0.99
00:57:35.000 I go, you tripped your balls off, son. 0.99
00:57:41.000 But I was worried. 1.00
00:57:42.000 I was like, I can't kill my friend.
00:57:44.000 I was literally worried for a few minutes.
00:57:45.000 I was like, what if his body just can't handle it?
00:57:49.000 Because Doug is world famous for abusing himself.
00:57:53.000 Cigarettes and booze and he's got hernias. 0.99
00:57:56.000 He can stick out.
00:57:56.000 He could flex his stomach and things would pop out of his gut.
00:57:59.000 I'm not bullshitting.
00:58:00.000 He's hilarious. 0.99
00:58:01.000 But, you know, he's a maniac. 0.67
00:58:04.000 That's not a game, man. 0.97
00:58:05.000 He's not playing an act.
00:58:07.000 That's Doug.
00:58:08.000 He is who he is.
00:58:09.000 And I was thinking, maybe this is like slapping a Corvette engine into a 1969 Dodge Dart that's got 289,000 miles and shaky shocks and bad brakes.
00:58:22.000 It just seemed like, whoa, what have I done?
00:58:25.000 When I did it, it felt like I got shot through a cannon.
00:58:30.000 It was like the experience of the launch.
00:58:34.000 It came on slow.
00:58:36.000 It took a few seconds.
00:58:39.000 And then once it hit, it just...
00:58:41.000 It's almost like you're pulling back against a catapult band or a rubber band or slingshot.
00:58:45.000 Just...
00:58:48.000 And then it was just flying to know me.
00:58:51.000 So like where I flew to, there was no me.
00:58:54.000 There was no difference between me and the air that's in front of me and the wood that makes this table and the floor beneath and all the different molecules and atoms.
00:59:05.000 Like it broke down.
00:59:08.000 The existence of everything to some strange geometric level.
00:59:12.000 And it was really intense and totally colorless.
00:59:15.000 It's like a big white thing.
00:59:18.000 Like it would bring you to this weird geometric white thing.
00:59:22.000 Whereas DMT is like NN dimethyltryptamine.
00:59:26.000 5-methoxy dimethyltryptamine is 5-MeO.
00:59:30.000 And it's just a different visual experience than NN dimethyltryptamine, which is the one that brings you these intense...
00:59:36.000 Visions of geometric patterns and dancing like the last time I did it was there were dancing Jokers that were giving me the finger They just kept giving me the finger, and I was like, oh, yeah, I deserve that.
00:59:48.000 I felt it as they were doing it. 1.00
00:59:50.000 They're like, fuck you, fuck you. 1.00
00:59:52.000 And I was realizing, like, oh, someone needs to say that to me. 1.00
00:59:54.000 Like, oh, I'm being a silly person.
00:59:56.000 Like, by even trying to control this trip.
00:59:59.000 Like, by even, like, thinking that, like, I'm just going to go into this.
01:00:02.000 I've been a good boy.
01:00:04.000 I've been doing my yoga and eating healthy, and this should be a good trip. 1.00
01:00:07.000 Fuck Fuck you. 1.00
01:00:08.000 It was like, fuck you. 1.00
01:00:09.000 You got no control out of this. 1.00
01:00:10.000 You better relax, bitch. 1.00
01:00:11.000 That's what makes it a heroic dose. 1.00
01:00:13.000 You gotta let go.
01:00:14.000 Well, all DMT is a heroic dose.
01:00:16.000 Once you pass that three-hit threshold, goodbye, see ya, you're gone.
01:00:20.000 Yeah, there's no micro-dosing.
01:00:22.000 No.
01:00:23.000 You're gone or you're gone.
01:00:25.000 You're just gone. 0.98
01:00:26.000 Yeah, that heroic dose I took, I ended up, I mean, the story was a lot of weird shit happened. 0.79
01:00:30.000 So you never got done explaining how much did you actually take?
01:00:33.000 Four hits.
01:00:33.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:00:34.000 Yeah, because I gave this old psychiatrist three hits, and I saw him a couple weeks later, and he was like, oh, that was good, clean stuff.
01:00:41.000 You know, no problem.
01:00:42.000 And I thought, well, that guy, he's in his 60s, could take three.
01:00:45.000 I'll take four.
01:00:46.000 I met this dude in Montana recently.
01:00:48.000 Very nice guy.
01:00:48.000 His name's Jeff.
01:00:49.000 He was working with us on this meat-eater show, and he told us that he took 25 hits of acid one night.
01:00:55.000 See, back in the day, I did five or six or whatever, but I felt like there's a plateau.
01:01:02.000 Like, I couldn't trip any harder than I tripped.
01:01:04.000 So I don't know that 20 would be...
01:01:07.000 Yeah, he just went with it, he said.
01:01:10.000 Forget how he described it.
01:01:11.000 He just went with it.
01:01:14.000 Last night I watched this documentary called The Sunshine Makers about the guys Owsley and the two guys who were making orange sunshine together, the famous acid of the 60s.
01:01:25.000 Oh, yeah.
01:01:26.000 And one of the guys was like...
01:01:27.000 That's all Sandoz, right? 0.95
01:01:28.000 That's all Sandoz Labs? 0.99
01:01:30.000 No, that was the legal shit in Switzerland. 0.95
01:01:32.000 This is the guys in California and Colorado, briefly, who were making the illegal stuff. 0.99
01:01:37.000 Oh.
01:01:38.000 And who was that?
01:01:39.000 Orange sunshine.
01:01:40.000 Forget the there's two guys.
01:01:42.000 The one guy was a documentary.
01:01:45.000 Yeah Nicholas and Tim Scully unlikely duo at the heart of the 1960s American drug counterculture Wow Yeah, it's quite good.
01:01:54.000 It's so weird that that was so incredibly recent but within like a few decades They had basically erased all evidence of it from culture except for a few fringe people Yeah, I mean, talk about old research.
01:02:07.000 There were thousands, tens of thousands of scientific papers published on how hallucinogens affect the brain.
01:02:13.000 In fact, the serotonergic system, the whole understanding of neurotransmitters really was fueled by trying to understand how so little LSD could make you so high.
01:02:24.000 That's what got people into looking at neurotransmitters and the effects on consciousness in the late 50s.
01:02:30.000 Anyway, I mean, we could talk forever about how hallucinogens have changed culture.
01:02:36.000 But what the hell was I saying?
01:02:38.000 Oh, so you took four hits.
01:02:40.000 In the movie, this guy says...
01:02:42.000 But the movie, this guy says, you know, he's talking about how they're, like, doing the vats, and he's a chemist, and he's like, every once in a while, you know, you, like, touch something, and it's hot, and you go, oh, and you put your thumb in your mouth, and you're like, oh, I just took 200 micrograms of LSD. Like, oh,
01:02:57.000 well.
01:02:58.000 They were high all the time while they were working.
01:03:01.000 Yeah.
01:03:01.000 And that's actually 20 hits, roughly.
01:03:04.000 Oh my god!
01:03:05.000 Now, isn't there like a number, like someone told me this, this is maybe one of those urban myths, like you have to register your hands as lethal weapons once you get your black belt.
01:03:13.000 That was an urban myth, too.
01:03:14.000 But isn't there an urban myth that like if you do a certain amount of acid, you're considered legally insane?
01:03:19.000 I heard that.
01:03:19.000 I don't know.
01:03:20.000 I don't know if that's true.
01:03:21.000 I hope it is, because then I'm like free and clear.
01:03:24.000 Let me see.
01:03:24.000 Jamie, is it real?
01:03:25.000 No.
01:03:26.000 I've heard that my whole life as well.
01:03:28.000 I remember hearing that when I was a kid too.
01:03:29.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:03:29.000 Do you remember hearing that it's bullshit? 0.99
01:03:31.000 Yeah, it was like seven hits will make you insane. 1.00
01:03:32.000 Yeah.
01:03:33.000 You're gone, bro.
01:03:34.000 Like, legally.
01:03:35.000 So anything you do afterwards, if you can prove you tripped at least, whatever, seven times.
01:03:40.000 I've met people that have done big doses of acid, and some of them have had a really hard time grasping regular reality.
01:03:46.000 And I wonder if there's a question.
01:03:47.000 Correlation I wonder if there's a connection between like some of them have like really distorted perceptions of what's going on right now in Terms of like like an experience will happen and they'll have a version of the experience Yeah, and you'll relay your version of that experience and they didn't remember that at all and you're like man I don't know who's got this right because memory is kind of a slippery thing,
01:04:06.000 but I don't remember him saying that to you, man.
01:04:08.000 I don't remember someone doing that to you.
01:04:10.000 I don't remember that going down.
01:04:11.000 People have these weird, perceived interactions that maybe are a little skewed.
01:04:16.000 I always wonder, is it the 39 hits of acid you took one night?
01:04:21.000 Did you blow a fuse?
01:04:22.000 But isn't it like somebody who works out and they mess up their back, and you say, well, you could blame it on working out, or you could blame it on working out wrong, or you could blame it on the fact that you probably already had a structural issue in your back that this just uncovered. 0.97
01:04:37.000 So I think a lot of people who have bad experiences or end up fucked up from hallucinogens, They're going to be fucked up anyway. 0.51
01:04:45.000 And there are psychotic breaks. 0.88
01:04:47.000 You know, like this kid that I talked about earlier in Amsterdam, he had a psychotic break.
01:04:52.000 But generally, you can recover from that and you'll be fine, unless there's some underlying structural issue in your personality.
01:05:01.000 You know, so I don't know.
01:05:03.000 I think it's multifactorial, like everything is, ultimately.
01:05:07.000 Yeah.
01:05:07.000 I think you're totally right.
01:05:08.000 That completely makes sense.
01:05:10.000 And it's one of the things that you've got to think about when you talk about food or alcohol or anything that people wind up getting addicted to, right?
01:05:17.000 I mean, people can blow their brains out on a variety of different substances that are readily available.
01:05:22.000 Right.
01:05:23.000 We're always looking for the reason for the effect, but normally it's a million reasons for an effect.
01:05:28.000 But it's no consolation if your son goes crazy from taking acid.
01:05:32.000 It's one of those things if acid became legal and your son walked into a CVS and bought acid and did too much of it with his friends and never came back and you had to take care of him when he's 50. No, it's no consolation, but a lot of people have psychotic breaks when their girlfriend breaks up with them the first time.
01:05:47.000 So are we going to blame women for psychosis? 1.00
01:05:50.000 I know. 1.00
01:05:51.000 It's hard to describe or to really recognize what is a psychotic break, what is real mental illness, and when are you just being a bitch? 0.99
01:06:01.000 Well, a professional should be able to recognize. 0.99
01:06:04.000 I would hope so. 1.00
01:06:05.000 At least when you're just being a bitch. 1.00
01:06:07.000 Isn't there an edge? 1.00
01:06:08.000 Is there an edge to, like, mental illness and just being a bitch? 1.00
01:06:11.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:06:11.000 Well, we're talking about psychosis, right? 1.00
01:06:15.000 Right, right, right.
01:06:15.000 So neurosis is a little- Let me just call her one more time.
01:06:17.000 Dude, don't call her.
01:06:18.000 I've got to call her.
01:06:19.000 No, you don't.
01:06:20.000 You don't have to call her.
01:06:21.000 The universe is telling me to call her.
01:06:22.000 I have to talk to her right now.
01:06:23.000 She'll understand what to talk to her.
01:06:24.000 Dude, there is a restraining order.
01:06:27.000 Stop.
01:06:28.000 Stop.
01:06:28.000 Do you want to go to jail?
01:06:29.000 I'm just gonna knock on her window. 1.00
01:06:31.000 Don't fucking do it! 0.99
01:06:33.000 There's people that get obsessed with people when it comes to relationships, and you just go, what? 1.00
01:06:38.000 People get addicted to each other.
01:06:40.000 They get as addicted to each other as they get addicted to sugar.
01:06:43.000 Easily.
01:06:44.000 It's harder for people to break up with people than it is from the kick sugar.
01:06:48.000 People can kick sugar.
01:06:49.000 If they decide they want to lose weight, a lot of people do it.
01:06:51.000 But when people break up, like, the emotional toll that you take is so devastating.
01:06:58.000 And I think part of the reason why the emotional toll is so devastating, unless being with the person was completely negative. 0.89
01:07:04.000 If it was completely negative, then you're like, finally, I'm fucking free!
01:07:07.000 I've had a few of those in my life. 0.92
01:07:09.000 And I'm sure you have too.
01:07:10.000 But there's other ones where you're like, God, this feels terrible.
01:07:13.000 You know, it's like an emotional flu that doesn't want to go away.
01:07:18.000 And I think it's because we get addicted to each other.
01:07:21.000 In the same way that we bonded to create these communal tribes of 50 people back in the day, those instincts still remain.
01:07:29.000 And I think one of the reward systems, and you would know better than I, of connecting everybody together with this has got to be this deep Yeah, well, we need to be loved.
01:07:43.000 We need to be touched.
01:07:45.000 And a lot of times, if you don't have a partner, nobody's touching you, you know, as an adult.
01:07:50.000 And, yeah, I mean, love is a funny thing.
01:07:54.000 I talk about this a lot on the podcast.
01:07:56.000 You know, I guess people think I'm some sort of relationship expert, which is hilarious.
01:08:02.000 But...
01:08:04.000 I don't know if I've told this story in your podcast, but my dad has this golden retriever, and he's had like five of them.
01:08:10.000 They all look the same.
01:08:11.000 I don't know.
01:08:11.000 The last one's named Brandy.
01:08:14.000 So the 4th of July, they had the dog out in the backyard, and they went to watch some 4th of July thing, some party somewhere, and apparently the fireworks scared the dog, and the dog jumped the fence and took off.
01:08:25.000 Oh, no.
01:08:26.000 And so my dad and my sister were all freaked out, and they were putting up signs all over the neighborhood and calling into the shelters and all that.
01:08:34.000 A day or two later, they get a call from a shelter.
01:08:35.000 Hey, we've got your dog.
01:08:37.000 Come down.
01:08:37.000 Oh, there she is.
01:08:39.000 Take the dog home.
01:08:40.000 They're in the backyard throwing the ball with the dog, and my sister's boyfriend comes home, and he looks out the window, and he says to my mom, whose dog are they playing with?
01:08:50.000 She said, well, that's Brandy.
01:08:51.000 And he said, that's not Brandy.
01:08:54.000 And then a few minutes later, the phone rings.
01:08:56.000 It's a neighbor.
01:08:56.000 Hey, we've got Brandy.
01:08:58.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:08:59.000 It's the wrong dog, right?
01:09:00.000 So what do they do?
01:09:01.000 They took it back to the pound. 1.00
01:09:03.000 They should have killed it. 0.99
01:09:04.000 I'm just kidding. 1.00
01:09:06.000 You imposter! 0.64
01:09:07.000 I'm kidding. 0.98
01:09:09.000 And eating it.
01:09:10.000 You trying to pretend you're brandy.
01:09:12.000 You're not brandy.
01:09:13.000 You didn't respond to brandy, you fraud.
01:09:15.000 But my point, yeah, no, the dog was like, you know, what did I do wrong?
01:09:18.000 I chased your ball, you know?
01:09:20.000 I mean, they sound like a great dog owner.
01:09:22.000 They should have just kept it.
01:09:23.000 They should have brought it back to the pound.
01:09:24.000 They should have, exactly.
01:09:25.000 Yeah, don't bring it back to the pound.
01:09:26.000 It's like you adopt a kid and like, eh, they're going to send you back.
01:09:29.000 Yeah, if somebody comes looking for that dog, then call me.
01:09:32.000 Until then, that dog lives here.
01:09:34.000 Should have been.
01:09:34.000 Should have been.
01:09:35.000 Yeah, you can't bring it back to the pound. 1.00
01:09:36.000 What a fucking drag for the dog. 1.00
01:09:38.000 I know. 1.00
01:09:38.000 But my point is, they're in the backyard with the dog. 1.00
01:09:42.000 What are they feeling?
01:09:43.000 My dad's feeling incredible relief.
01:09:45.000 Right.
01:09:46.000 Brandy's back.
01:09:47.000 Right.
01:09:47.000 Love.
01:09:48.000 He loves Brandy.
01:09:49.000 Wow.
01:09:50.000 That ain't Brandy.
01:09:52.000 But it doesn't matter, because he's still feeling love.
01:09:55.000 And I think we do that in our relationships. 0.99
01:09:58.000 We project our need to love on whoever the fuck will take it. 0.98
01:10:02.000 I mean, what's that Beatles song? 0.99
01:10:03.000 I need somebody to love.
01:10:05.000 And then in the back, you ever listen?
01:10:06.000 In the back they say, can it be anybody?
01:10:10.000 And then he says, I just want someone to love. 0.99
01:10:12.000 I don't give a fuck who it is. 1.00
01:10:14.000 I just want a dog. 1.00
01:10:16.000 I don't care.
01:10:17.000 I want a girlfriend.
01:10:18.000 I'll take whatever.
01:10:19.000 What do you got?
01:10:20.000 Well, that's a thing with a lot of people that don't have relationships.
01:10:22.000 They have a bunch of pets.
01:10:24.000 Yeah, because they need someone or something to love.
01:10:26.000 Come home and get that love.
01:10:27.000 Yeah.
01:10:28.000 And touch, you know?
01:10:29.000 If you're a single person, you come home, your dogs are so happy to see you.
01:10:32.000 You're like, hello!
01:10:33.000 I know!
01:10:34.000 I know!
01:10:34.000 Get your kisses in.
01:10:36.000 Get your pets in.
01:10:37.000 Yeah, I mean, dogs are like emotional band-aids for a lot of people.
01:10:41.000 Even cats.
01:10:42.000 I mean, you have cats, right?
01:10:43.000 Sure.
01:10:43.000 I love cats.
01:10:44.000 And they don't give a fuck. 0.99
01:10:45.000 They don't give a fuck if you're there or not. 1.00
01:10:46.000 But they'll sit on your lap and purr when you pet them. 0.99
01:10:48.000 Yeah.
01:10:49.000 They'll accept your love.
01:10:50.000 Yeah.
01:10:51.000 Which is nice.
01:10:52.000 Sometimes that's enough.
01:10:53.000 Dogs are better.
01:10:54.000 Obviously.
01:10:55.000 No, I can't believe you're going to get into a dogs versus cats debate, man. 1.00
01:10:59.000 This fucking show sucks now. 1.00
01:11:01.000 No. 1.00
01:11:02.000 That's right, I forget.
01:11:03.000 There they are, the millions listening in.
01:11:05.000 It's just such a hackneyed debate, dogs versus cats. 1.00
01:11:09.000 I'm really into fucking aardvarks, bro. 0.99
01:11:11.000 I'm a pet aardvark. 0.99
01:11:12.000 I watched a video online of a wild pig that had eaten through a cow's body and got stuck.
01:11:19.000 And the farmer found the cow, and this wild pig is coming out through a hole in its stomach, like he'd eaten through the cow and got stuck.
01:11:29.000 It's like Jim Carrey in Pet Detective. 1.00
01:11:31.000 When he comes out of that zebra's ass. 1.00
01:11:32.000 Check this out. 1.00
01:11:33.000 Is this it?
01:11:34.000 Yeah, there it is. 1.00
01:11:35.000 You watch a lot of gross shit, man. 1.00
01:11:37.000 This is not that gross. 1.00
01:11:38.000 See, look at it.
01:11:38.000 It's stuck.
01:11:39.000 It can't get out of the body. 0.99
01:11:41.000 Oh, that's the pig. 1.00
01:11:41.000 That's the pig. 1.00
01:11:42.000 Yep, the skin of the cow.
01:11:44.000 It ate through it, but then it can't get its fat body through. 0.98
01:11:46.000 It got its head through, but it can't fit the rest of it through.
01:11:48.000 How could it not back out?
01:11:50.000 It doesn't know what to do. 1.00
01:11:51.000 It's stupid. 1.00
01:11:52.000 Dumb fucking wild pig. 1.00
01:11:54.000 I have a friend who has a pig, a pet pig. 1.00
01:11:57.000 A pot-pilly pig?
01:11:58.000 One of those? 0.99
01:11:58.000 Yeah, exactly. 0.99
01:11:59.000 And apparently, it's like really smart.
01:12:01.000 Very smart.
01:12:02.000 And it's affectionate.
01:12:03.000 Yeah.
01:12:04.000 Yeah, it's a bummer. 0.90
01:12:06.000 Eating bacon's a bummer, if you think about what a pig is. 0.99
01:12:09.000 It is.
01:12:10.000 I keep trying to find cruelty-free bacon, and it's just not there.
01:12:13.000 It's not real.
01:12:14.000 I can't find it. 1.00
01:12:15.000 You gotta shoot a pig to get bacon. 1.00
01:12:16.000 There's a certain amount of cruelty involved in that delicious taste. 0.98
01:12:18.000 You ever hear a pig or see a pig die? 0.99
01:12:20.000 I've killed pigs. 0.90
01:12:22.000 They don't die happy. 0.98
01:12:23.000 Well, the one I killed died real quick. 0.94
01:12:26.000 I shot it with a 300 Win Mag and it died instantly. 0.99
01:12:29.000 In the head? 0.99
01:12:29.000 Boom! 0.99
01:12:29.000 No, it was in the body cavity. 0.99
01:12:31.000 It blew its heart out.
01:12:32.000 But it died instantaneously.
01:12:34.000 It just fell right over.
01:12:36.000 It's a big round.
01:12:37.000 I drove a 300, the scope, into my forehead on a 300 Win Mag.
01:12:40.000 That was nice.
01:12:41.000 It's got a lot of kick.
01:12:42.000 But it's a good round because anything it hits dies very humanely, very quickly.
01:12:48.000 If you hit it right, obviously.
01:12:50.000 But wild pigs are a huge problem. 1.00
01:12:54.000 And I know that people have a problem with people eating animals.
01:12:58.000 And I get that.
01:12:59.000 But there's always going to be an issue, even if we didn't eat any animals.
01:13:03.000 If you don't want all of your vegetables eaten up by wild pigs, somebody has to control the population because there's no way to control them.
01:13:10.000 They breed at a staggering rate.
01:13:13.000 They breed three or four.
01:13:14.000 I mean, they'll have these litters. 0.91
01:13:16.000 They can have litters two, three times a year.
01:13:18.000 They start having litters when they're six months old. 0.98
01:13:21.000 When they're six months old, they start shitting out pigs. 0.99
01:13:24.000 And there's a ton of them. 0.98
01:13:25.000 I mean, there's...
01:13:26.000 Like up around Sonoma County.
01:13:27.000 Yeah, up in San Jose, they're eating people's lawns in residential neighborhoods. 0.99
01:13:31.000 And they're not to be fucked with, either. 1.00
01:13:33.000 Oh, no, they'll fuck you up. 1.00
01:13:34.000 Hey, get out of here, pig. 1.00
01:13:35.000 They'll kill your dog, too. 1.00
01:13:36.000 They'll fuck your dog up and slice him up. 1.00
01:13:38.000 And they'll eat him, too, once he's dead. 1.00
01:13:40.000 Their tusks, like, especially the big boars, they're enormous animals, too.
01:13:43.000 You're talking about, like, some of them are...
01:13:45.000 They shot one at the Tejon Ranch.
01:13:47.000 They think it was about 350 pounds last week.
01:13:49.000 350 pounds.
01:13:50.000 Yeah.
01:13:51.000 And this is a wild, snorting, horrific beast. 0.99
01:13:55.000 Yeah, it's not a fat pig wallowing around. 0.99
01:13:58.000 They're fast and aggressive. 0.92
01:14:00.000 They're fast, aggressive, and ferocious.
01:14:02.000 They have what's called a shield plate all around their front body.
01:14:07.000 Like where their face is, like from their jawline back, they have this incredibly thick, like leather...
01:14:15.000 And it's to protect them from going to war with other male boars and those giant tusks. 0.99
01:14:21.000 So they fucking slice each other up. 0.99
01:14:22.000 And so these things are just, they're tanks! 0.99
01:14:25.000 They're super durable tanks who are born at a ridiculous rate.
01:14:30.000 There's millions of them roaming through the country.
01:14:32.000 There was an article that I posted on Twitter just a few days ago where these scientists were saying it's just a matter of time before every county in every state has a wild pig problem.
01:14:44.000 It's just they're not stopping the breeding, they're not stopping the growth, and they're just going to slowly spread out like coyotes.
01:14:51.000 And the meat's good, right?
01:14:52.000 Oh, it's really good.
01:14:53.000 It's delicious.
01:14:53.000 It's dark.
01:14:53.000 I mean, it's the perfect situation because you're killing something that needs to be killed.
01:14:59.000 It used to be cougars were killing them and whatever.
01:15:02.000 Other predators were keeping them in check.
01:15:05.000 Well, it's not.
01:15:06.000 They're an invasive species. 0.63
01:15:07.000 They weren't native to North America?
01:15:09.000 No, they're brought over here from Russia.
01:15:10.000 They're brought over here from Asia. 0.99
01:15:12.000 They're brought over here from different parts of the world.
01:15:14.000 There's some ferocious Russian ones that are in the Northern California coast that are connected to, I think it was William Randolph Hearst. 1.00
01:15:21.000 I think the Hearst Castle up there.
01:15:23.000 I think William Randolph Hearst had boars up there. 1.00
01:15:26.000 It's one more thing that asshole did. 1.00
01:15:27.000 Well, I mean, wherever they came from, there were predators, you know? 1.00
01:15:30.000 Siberian.
01:15:31.000 Yeah.
01:15:31.000 They probably lived in incredibly harsh environments, and it's one of the reasons why they thrive here.
01:15:35.000 Yeah.
01:15:36.000 And my point is, there's no predator now.
01:15:38.000 They're living free. 1.00
01:15:39.000 They're not like pigs that are turned into bacon or in these fucking cages where they can't turn around and all that shit. 1.00
01:15:45.000 See, that's the thing that gets me. 1.00
01:15:47.000 I eat meat, and I have no problem eating meat.
01:15:49.000 Because as Doug Stanhope said, life becomes life.
01:15:53.000 Life eats life.
01:15:54.000 That's what it does.
01:15:55.000 There's no getting around that.
01:15:56.000 There's a book called The Vegetarian Myth.
01:15:58.000 You ever read that?
01:15:59.000 Yes.
01:16:00.000 There's a woman who was a vegan for 20 years, and then she's like, I'm going to grow my own food.
01:16:06.000 And as soon as she started growing her own food, she realized there's no way to even grow food without killing stuff.
01:16:11.000 You've got to put the stuff down to protect the garden from the slugs.
01:16:14.000 That kills the slugs.
01:16:16.000 The fertilizer is made out of bone and blood meal.
01:16:19.000 Where does that come from?
01:16:20.000 It's like there's no way to not kill things in order to eat.
01:16:24.000 Even if you're eating vegetables, you're still killing things to eat them.
01:16:27.000 Well, that's the connection to the actual food itself, right from the source.
01:16:31.000 It gives you this understanding of it.
01:16:32.000 But still, you can mitigate the amount of suffering that you put out there.
01:16:36.000 That's what I was going to say.
01:16:37.000 Yeah, I've got no problem eating something that lived a life, a free life, like these wild boars.
01:16:43.000 What I have a problem with is the industrial process.
01:16:46.000 Wild boars might be one of the few things that... 1.00
01:16:51.000 We almost have enough where everybody can hunt them.
01:16:54.000 Because, I mean, there's not enough deer, there's not enough elk for people to hunt in this country.
01:17:01.000 Like, if everybody wanted to do what some people are trying to do, where they're just trying to get all the meat from the wild, there's just not enough wild.
01:17:09.000 But there's enough for the amount of people that are doing it, for sure, definitely.
01:17:12.000 It's very sustainable.
01:17:13.000 But that's also why it's, like, really difficult to get certain tags for certain animals in certain areas where they do monitor the population and they say, well, we have, like, a certain amount here.
01:17:23.000 This is the amount that we have and this is the amount that we think would be healthy to remove from the population because of the competition for food and this and that.
01:17:31.000 And, you know, so these people compete for, not compete, but they put in their, like, they apply for a tag.
01:17:39.000 It's like a lottery system.
01:17:40.000 Yeah, there might be a thousand people apply, but only a hundred get tags.
01:17:42.000 And out of those 100, most of the time, it's not even 50% success rate.
01:17:48.000 So the proposition of going out and just trying to get your own meat, it's very sketchy.
01:17:53.000 It's very hard to do.
01:17:54.000 Not everybody could do it.
01:17:55.000 So it's not really a viable alternative to feeding 350 million people.
01:17:59.000 No.
01:18:00.000 But it could be viable for you. 0.99
01:18:20.000 You know, it's like there's a certain amount of shit you can think of for your own life, like for your own life. 0.99
01:18:26.000 You want to feel better? 1.00
01:18:26.000 Go shoot a wild pig. 1.00
01:18:28.000 If that's where you get your food, you'll feel better. 1.00
01:18:30.000 You'll feel weird.
01:18:32.000 Michael Pollan wrote a very interesting essay about him shooting a wild pig up in Sonoma.
01:18:38.000 I think it's included in The Omnivore's Dilemma, his big bestseller, where he wanted to trace the origins of everything, every element of a meal, and so he built a book around that.
01:18:48.000 But I remember reading that essay in The New Yorker, I think, and I was struck by how he conveys really powerfully the feeling of having killed something, where there was this sort of jubilation followed by shame,
01:19:05.000 followed by confusion and disgust, and all these things were waves passing through him.
01:19:13.000 He wasn't a big hunter.
01:19:15.000 He just wanted to have this one experience.
01:19:17.000 Right.
01:19:18.000 And, yeah, my buddy Justin's going to take me hunting.
01:19:23.000 He's been offering for a couple years now, and I want to do it.
01:19:26.000 I'm not a big killer, but I know how to shoot guns, and I feel some responsibility to face the reality of meat, you know?
01:19:34.000 I mean, just... 1.00
01:19:36.000 Face it, you're killing shit, you know? 1.00
01:19:37.000 And just because someone's doing it for you in a factory and cutting it up and putting in plastic, that doesn't mean you're not involved in that process. 1.00
01:19:45.000 Would you be one of the people that would adopt lab-created meat?
01:19:49.000 Would you put that in your diet once that actually happens?
01:19:52.000 Because they're pretty sure that they're going to be able to make that happen soon.
01:19:55.000 Or would you look at it and say, well, I mean, how would you look at it?
01:19:59.000 I'd want to look at it scientifically and know what's the nutritional content because I'm very suspicious of these things that come out of laboratories.
01:20:09.000 But if it turned out that it tasted the same, the nutritional content was as good as wild meat with grass-fed omega-3 and all that kind of stuff, the omega-3, omega-6 ratios were right.
01:20:22.000 Yeah, I'd eat it.
01:20:23.000 Why not? 1.00
01:20:24.000 I eat a lot of weird shit. 1.00
01:20:26.000 And we all do. 1.00
01:20:27.000 Or most of us.
01:20:28.000 I would definitely try it.
01:20:30.000 My mother had a bowl of cheese puffs the other day at the Super Bowl. 1.00
01:20:34.000 What the fuck is a cheese puff? 1.00
01:20:36.000 Asshole fire. 1.00
01:20:37.000 Talk about something that comes out of a lab. 0.99
01:20:40.000 Or marshmallows.
01:20:41.000 Do you know that they have banned trans fats in the United States?
01:20:45.000 But they allow people to put them in for the next couple years.
01:20:48.000 In 2018, it runs out.
01:20:51.000 So, until then, you could poison people. 0.99
01:20:54.000 Until then, you could keep throwing that stuff in whatever the fuck, baked goods and potato creations. 0.99
01:21:00.000 What did we find out that trans fats are in? 0.98
01:21:03.000 It was in like...
01:21:04.000 Microwave popcorn, I think, was one.
01:21:05.000 That's crazy. 0.99
01:21:06.000 That stuff's goddamn delicious. 0.99
01:21:07.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:21:08.000 I love microwave popcorn.
01:21:09.000 And what do you need to make popcorn?
01:21:11.000 It's not, I mean, just make it normally.
01:21:13.000 A little oil. 1.00
01:21:14.000 I know, but it's so convenient if you're a lazy fuck. 1.00
01:21:17.000 It's the stockpiles. 1.00
01:21:20.000 Do you know the whole, like, sort of fertilizer and, not fertilizer, pesticide and insecticide, you know, farm spraying crops and all that shit? 0.74
01:21:30.000 That all started because at the end of World War II, there were huge stockpiles of chemical weapons that weren't used. 0.99
01:21:37.000 And so they're like, what are we going to do with this shit? 1.00
01:21:39.000 We got to sell this shit. 1.00
01:21:41.000 And they were like, well, we can dilute it and spray it and it'll kill aphids or whatever the fuck. 1.00
01:21:46.000 And there really wasn't a big problem with pests in the American farming industry. 0.89
01:21:51.000 But they had all this stockpile of stuff.
01:21:53.000 And Rachel Carson writes about this in Silent Spring.
01:21:56.000 Classic book.
01:21:58.000 Yeah, crazy.
01:21:59.000 So it's like there's bacon and eggs.
01:22:02.000 We think that's like a natural breakfast thing?
01:22:04.000 That was invented by an advertising agency.
01:22:06.000 Yeah, we talked about this before.
01:22:08.000 Did we?
01:22:08.000 Yeah, we talked about this and we talked about how Kellogg's created really bland cereal to keep people from beating off.
01:22:13.000 See, that's my shtick right there.
01:22:15.000 Yeah, that's a beautiful shtick though.
01:22:16.000 Once people find out that's true, you're like, what?
01:22:19.000 Yeah.
01:22:19.000 And just think of how bizarre.
01:22:21.000 And graham crackers.
01:22:22.000 What?
01:22:23.000 Yeah.
01:22:23.000 What was graham crackers again?
01:22:24.000 Again, it was Graham and Kellogg were the two sort of anti-masturbation guys.
01:22:29.000 And he thought graham crackers could keep you from beating off.
01:22:31.000 Because they're so bland.
01:22:32.000 That's hilarious.
01:22:33.000 Yeah.
01:22:34.000 Isn't it hilarious that they associated spicy food, like Latinos dancing? 0.99
01:22:38.000 Exactly.
01:22:39.000 Oh.
01:22:40.000 That bad.
01:22:41.000 Tacos, man.
01:22:42.000 It's all about the tacos. 0.99
01:22:43.000 Yeah, some fucking hot salsa. 0.99
01:22:45.000 Salsa music. 1.00
01:22:47.000 They're getting crazy.
01:22:48.000 You always associate salsa music with a woman with a dress that's slid up the side. 1.00
01:22:52.000 Oh, man.
01:22:53.000 All the way up to her hip.
01:22:54.000 See, I wish if I were efficient like you, I would have learned to salsa dance years ago.
01:22:58.000 I'm not that efficient.
01:22:59.000 I don't salsa dance.
01:22:59.000 I can't even ice skate.
01:23:01.000 Yeah.
01:23:02.000 I like the connection.
01:23:04.000 Somehow, in your head, there's salsa dancing, and then right next to that on the shelf is ice skating.
01:23:10.000 Well, ice skating seems to be something that a lot of people know how to do.
01:23:12.000 Not a lot of Mexicans.
01:23:14.000 That's true.
01:23:15.000 Not a lot of African ice skaters, right? 0.72
01:23:17.000 That's why black people haven't dominated hockey. 1.00
01:23:19.000 Otherwise, they would have taken over that shit, too. 1.00
01:23:21.000 It's common. 1.00
01:23:21.000 It's common. 1.00
01:23:23.000 Because ice skating, like, I fucking never learned. 0.98
01:23:25.000 Yeah, I can't ice skate either. 0.99
01:23:26.000 Really?
01:23:27.000 No.
01:23:27.000 I feel good now.
01:23:28.000 Yeah.
01:23:28.000 My kids can.
01:23:29.000 My wife can. 0.93
01:23:30.000 But, like, to me, the sexiest women are the women who are salsa dancing. 1.00
01:23:34.000 Ooh.
01:23:34.000 You know?
01:23:35.000 Because you feel like I'm dirty. 0.64
01:23:36.000 Sweaty.
01:23:37.000 You know, move the way they move, and it's all like, oh, it's a party.
01:23:42.000 And I just love to be out there on the floor, Mr. Cool Guy, in a light-colored suit, you know?
01:23:46.000 Yeah, like Miami Vice.
01:23:47.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:23:48.000 That's what I'm picturing.
01:23:49.000 Loafers, no socks.
01:23:50.000 That's me, man.
01:23:51.000 I like what you're doing.
01:23:51.000 In my dreams.
01:23:53.000 That's me.
01:23:55.000 The problem with loafers and no socks is they could really stink after a while, right?
01:24:00.000 Your feet will sweat in there and it's disgusting and there's not much...
01:24:03.000 Yeah, it's gross.
01:24:04.000 Yeah, I don't know.
01:24:05.000 I'm lucky in that respect or I'm just totally deluded, but I think my body doesn't stink much.
01:24:14.000 But I may be wrong about that.
01:24:16.000 I may just have really friendly people around me.
01:24:19.000 Well, you know how olfactory senses work, right?
01:24:22.000 They work on change.
01:24:24.000 You don't recognize distinct smells that last.
01:24:29.000 Say if you're living in an area that stinks. 1.00
01:24:32.000 So you get used to the smell of baby shit? 1.00
01:24:34.000 No, not necessarily, because baby shit's not in front of you all the time. 1.00
01:24:38.000 But things that are around you all the time, like your own funk or how your house smells. 0.99
01:24:42.000 You become immune to it.
01:24:44.000 Unless there's like...
01:24:44.000 Like if you have a house, have you ever had a cat piss in your house?
01:24:47.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99
01:24:48.000 Fucking annoying, right? 1.00
01:24:49.000 In my fucking bed, dude. 1.00
01:24:50.000 And you're like walking around like, where the fuck is it? 1.00
01:24:52.000 And I'm walking around like a goddamn dog trying to find out where my cat pissed. 1.00
01:24:56.000 Especially when I used to have a carpet. 0.99
01:24:58.000 It's gross, because you never knew where they pissed.
01:24:59.000 And then you never really totally got it out of there.
01:25:02.000 And then they know you never got it out of there, so they find that spot and pee on it again. 0.95
01:25:06.000 Wretched little creatures!
01:25:10.000 I had a cat in college. 0.96
01:25:12.000 I'd moved into this shared apartment with this woman, and she had this cat named Mao, who was a beautiful cat.
01:25:20.000 Big, big sort of whiskers and just a lovely, beautiful cat.
01:25:24.000 Is she a fan of communism?
01:25:25.000 I don't know.
01:25:26.000 I think it was more like a meow, meow thing.
01:25:28.000 But the cat would get on a table and he'd put his paws on your shoulders and just rub his face on your face.
01:25:34.000 And you'd be like, oh, what a great cat. 0.95
01:25:35.000 And then he would just freak out and fucking hit you in the face and scratch you and run away. 1.00
01:25:42.000 Like, oh, this cat's fucked, right? 1.00
01:25:43.000 Probably got acid. 1.00
01:25:45.000 Somebody fucked with this cat. 1.00
01:25:46.000 Somebody gave the cat some acid. 0.99
01:25:47.000 Yeah, because it was one of these hippie houses where people were moving through all the time. 1.00
01:25:52.000 Oh, fucking hippies. 0.99
01:25:53.000 Anyway, so I ended up hooking up with this woman, and I remember one time, we're in my bed, and we're having sex, and the cat walks in, and he looks at me, and he backs up to my bookshelf and just... 1.00
01:26:07.000 Oh my God.
01:26:09.000 While holding eye contact with me.
01:26:11.000 Whoa, that's disturbing.
01:26:13.000 I think he had a thing with this woman and I was...
01:26:16.000 Oh, for sure you had a thing with her.
01:26:18.000 Yeah.
01:26:18.000 Because he's probably, if he's spraying, he's probably not fixed, right?
01:26:21.000 No, he wasn't fixed.
01:26:22.000 First of all, you've got to fix those cats. 1.00
01:26:24.000 Because if they walk in on you fucking, they're going to get horny. 1.00
01:26:28.000 They're freaks. 1.00
01:26:29.000 Yeah.
01:26:29.000 Especially male cats that don't get fixed, they all spray.
01:26:33.000 All of them.
01:26:34.000 I mean, female cats, they get in the heat and they start mowing. 0.98
01:26:39.000 Sticking their ass up in the air. 0.99
01:26:41.000 Yeah, I told this story about my sexual experience with a cat. 1.00
01:26:44.000 Did you see the animation that guy did of that?
01:26:46.000 No, I did not.
01:26:47.000 Who did it?
01:26:47.000 Which guy?
01:26:48.000 I don't remember his name, but it's on YouTube and it is so well done, man.
01:26:54.000 It's an animator in Peru.
01:26:57.000 He wrote to me.
01:26:58.000 He's not Peruvian, but he's based there.
01:27:00.000 He wrote to me and he's like, hey man, would you mind if I did an animation of a story you tell on your podcast?
01:27:06.000 I was like, yeah, go ahead.
01:27:06.000 That's great.
01:27:07.000 You don't need my permission, right? 0.99
01:27:09.000 But he picked the one of me and you and Duncan and I'm telling the story about this cat and the pencil and the cats humping the pencil and all this shit. 0.99
01:27:18.000 Yeah. 0.85
01:27:18.000 It's like, dude, you pick the one story, like, I don't really want the world. 0.85
01:27:22.000 Like, the Joe Rogan audience will get it.
01:27:24.000 My audience will get it.
01:27:26.000 But I don't know that, like, Twitter universe is gonna get it.
01:27:31.000 So I feel bad, because you put a lot of work into it, but I haven't really, like, pushed to promote it much.
01:27:37.000 I can see what you're saying, but I think your fears are unfounded.
01:27:40.000 You think so?
01:27:41.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:27:41.000 Fuck the people don't get it. 1.00
01:27:42.000 You come across, you're hilarious in this. 1.00
01:27:44.000 Jamie, if you could find this thing, it's called...
01:27:48.000 It's on my YouTube channel.
01:27:50.000 I remember the story.
01:27:51.000 It's something about...
01:27:52.000 If you just Google, Christopher Ryan fucks a cat with a pencil, it'll probably come up.
01:27:57.000 And if it doesn't, I'd love to see what else does.
01:27:59.000 We had a cat that was in heat before she got fixed. 0.99
01:28:02.000 We got her fixed right when she got in the heat. 0.91
01:28:03.000 But you would pet her, and she would lift her ass up in the air. 1.00
01:28:06.000 Just like... 0.99
01:28:07.000 As soon as you gave her any affection...
01:28:09.000 And then if you spank her, they love to get spanked, too. 1.00
01:28:12.000 Jesus Christ.
01:28:13.000 Yeah, I had a cat who would hold onto the sofa and I'd spank her pretty hard. 1.00
01:28:17.000 And then I'd fake spank her and she'd fall off because she was already compensating for it. 1.00
01:28:22.000 It's her only trick.
01:28:23.000 Oh my god. 0.95
01:28:24.000 So you were beating her off by spanking her. 1.00
01:28:27.000 Basically, right? 0.97
01:28:28.000 I like to give animals pleasure.
01:28:31.000 And normally the way that expresses itself, like in Spain, in our apartment in Spain, I built this whole cat world.
01:28:37.000 I got this big piece of driftwood.
01:28:40.000 And I wrapped a climbing rope around it so they can climb straight up this thing.
01:28:44.000 And then there's a series of shelves along the ceiling so they jump around and they can go all around the room and chase each other and hang out up there when you're having a party.
01:28:53.000 They're like up there just hanging out watching people.
01:28:55.000 Because that's where they want to be, right?
01:28:58.000 And then on the terrace I built this big tree thing that they go on and there's a hammock in it and the cats get in the hammock and swing.
01:29:05.000 So I love seeing animals happy, you know?
01:29:10.000 I mean, maybe in a way, the things I write are trying to make people happy.
01:29:15.000 Because what I'm trying to do is get people in their natural environment.
01:29:18.000 That's what I'm writing about, you know?
01:29:21.000 And so with cats, it's the same way.
01:29:23.000 I want to create a jungle for them.
01:29:27.000 And it's so cool because we had three cats, and they...
01:29:30.000 Once you build this world for them, they leave you alone.
01:29:33.000 They're not like... 0.97
01:29:34.000 People think cats are like, oh, you know, it's all pathetic. 0.73
01:29:37.000 It's, you know, I come home and... 0.57
01:29:38.000 If you have three cats, they have their own life.
01:29:42.000 And they're happy to interact with you when you want to.
01:29:44.000 But when you don't want to, they're doing their thing, you know?
01:29:47.000 Wow.
01:29:48.000 It's really good.
01:29:50.000 All right, Jamie, did you find it?
01:29:51.000 They're interesting little animals, man.
01:29:53.000 I love cats.
01:29:53.000 The relationships that people have with their cats, it's very...
01:29:56.000 Okay, here we go.
01:29:57.000 What is that?
01:30:01.000 Well, don't watch the whole thing.
01:30:03.000 This one's got like a laugh track on it.
01:30:06.000 Huh?
01:30:07.000 No, no, the laugh track he added, that's because I was talking about doing this gig in Hollywood.
01:30:12.000 Oh, okay.
01:30:13.000 It's called Nine and a Half Lives with Dr. Christopher Ryan.
01:30:17.000 Why is it not?
01:30:19.000 You should see the image of you, though.
01:30:20.000 You're sitting just like this.
01:30:23.000 Oh, there you are.
01:30:25.000 Let's hear some of it.
01:30:28.000 So the story is, okay, I'm eight years old, it's the 70s, and my parents are going to a bridge party at their friend's place, so there's no babysitter, they take me with me, and yeah, it's like, you know, Love American style, the Brady Bunch those days, 0.98
01:30:43.000 if anyone's old enough to remember that shit.
01:30:46.000 Anyway, so I'm like, hey, they put me in the basement in the family room, and they say, keep the door closed because the cat's in heat. 0.99
01:30:53.000 Right? 0.98
01:30:54.000 I don't know what the fuck that means. 0.98
01:30:55.000 I think it means the cat's hot, so they've got the A.C. on, keep the door closed. 0.98
01:30:59.000 I don't know. 0.99
01:30:59.000 So I go down, I watch a TV, and this fucking cat is just like all over the place, rubbing her ass on my leg and just like looking at me and just like, really? 0.99
01:31:09.000 Because somebody scratched my itch, you know? 0.99
01:31:12.000 And I look down and there's this pencil on the table next to the sofa.
01:31:16.000 Oh, no, you didn't.
01:31:16.000 And I take the pencil and with the eraser down, I just hold it there, right?
01:31:21.000 And this cat backs up on this eraser and starts fucking humping this eraser. 0.99
01:31:25.000 Oh no! 0.99
01:31:26.000 It freaks me out.
01:31:27.000 Rips the inside of her apart with the little metal casing.
01:31:29.000 No, no.
01:31:30.000 But you know what? 0.99
01:31:31.000 Male cat penises have spines that come out on withdrawal that does rip up the inside of the female. 1.00
01:31:39.000 Blood has to mix with cat semen to fertilize cats. 0.97
01:31:43.000 That's why they scream like that at night.
01:31:45.000 What happened was I pulled the pencil away because it was freaking me out.
01:31:49.000 And then...
01:31:50.000 The cat turns around and looks at me like, yo, hey, what are you doing?
01:31:55.000 You know, come on.
01:31:56.000 And like really like shocked and disappointed.
01:31:59.000 And I was like, well, I don't know.
01:32:01.000 So I put it back down again. 0.98
01:32:02.000 The cat backs up on it and starts fucking this pencil again. 0.98
01:32:04.000 And this time I hold on. 0.99
01:32:06.000 And then she comes. 0.85
01:32:08.000 Cats have orgasms? 0.96
01:32:09.000 Oh, yeah. 0.97
01:32:10.000 And she like rolls over and looks at me, licking her face, and looks at me with love and gratitude. 0.97
01:32:16.000 It's the first sexual experience I ever had. 0.99
01:32:18.000 And you didn't put your penis against the cat? 1.00
01:32:22.000 No, no, no. 1.00
01:32:23.000 I was eight years old.
01:32:25.000 I was experiencing it as an idea.
01:32:27.000 I wasn't feeling it as a sexual thing, right?
01:32:30.000 Yeah.
01:32:31.000 Yeah.
01:32:32.000 But when you were in a tee, you probably did that. 0.99
01:32:35.000 Oh, I fucked every cat in the neighborhood. 0.99
01:32:36.000 Did you? 1.00
01:32:37.000 No.
01:32:41.000 Isn't that great?
01:32:42.000 Dave Anderson, bloodsausage.co.uk.
01:32:47.000 He's great.
01:32:48.000 That animation's amazing.
01:32:49.000 It's perfect.
01:32:50.000 I mean, I've probably seen it 20 times and every time I see details.
01:32:54.000 Yeah.
01:32:54.000 I mean, if you freeze that frame of the Brady Bunch or the Love American style or whatever it was, like every one of those characters.
01:33:01.000 And I'd love to know how accurate his tattoo is because of your arm.
01:33:06.000 Do you have a t-shirt that says, how dare you?
01:33:08.000 No, I don't.
01:33:11.000 It's just a phrase you use occasionally.
01:33:12.000 I just say it all the time.
01:33:14.000 I don't think the tattoos were accurate.
01:33:16.000 I didn't recognize them, but whatever.
01:33:18.000 It was amazing.
01:33:18.000 You know the Duncan thing with the little pyramid with the floating eye above it sitting in front of him all the time?
01:33:23.000 And he's wearing a Serape? 0.63
01:33:24.000 Yeah.
01:33:27.000 That guy's great.
01:33:28.000 Yeah, they're definitely not correct.
01:33:32.000 But the other thing was the car, how the car was bouncing up and down as you guys were driving.
01:33:37.000 And it's got the wood siding.
01:33:39.000 He got the 70s. 1.00
01:33:41.000 Everyone's wearing leisure suits and smoking cigarettes and shit. 0.99
01:33:45.000 It's really well done. 0.99
01:33:46.000 Anyway, what the fuck was that? 0.99
01:33:48.000 Oh, we're talking about giving cats pleasure and making animals happy. 1.00
01:33:51.000 I had a buddy of mine who used to jerk off his Rottweiler with his foot. 1.00
01:33:54.000 He used to put his foot on his Rottweiler's dick and he would like rub it back and forth and Rottweiler would come. 0.99
01:33:59.000 And I told my girlfriend at the time, it's a long time ago, and she was so mad. 0.99
01:34:06.000 She was so disgusted. 0.99
01:34:07.000 Like, that is fucking disgusting. 1.00
01:34:09.000 And I was like, why is it disgusting? 1.00
01:34:10.000 The guy's just beating off his dog.
01:34:12.000 Like, the dog can't do it.
01:34:13.000 If the dog could do it, he would do it himself. 0.98
01:34:15.000 So he's like a friend who jerks off his friend. 1.00
01:34:17.000 Dog can lick his own balls pretty easily. 1.00
01:34:21.000 Yeah, that's true, but I don't think that's enough. 0.99
01:34:23.000 I think he needed more.
01:34:25.000 So my friend needs to beat him off with his foot. 0.99
01:34:27.000 He's put his foot on the dog. 1.00
01:34:29.000 I think there's like a female sex toy you can get for male dogs. 1.00
01:34:34.000 Oh. 1.00
01:34:34.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:34:35.000 There's like a thing that...
01:34:37.000 That makes sense.
01:34:37.000 Like a fleshlight for dogs.
01:34:39.000 That makes sense.
01:34:39.000 Keep it from humping your leg.
01:34:41.000 Yeah.
01:34:41.000 Yeah.
01:34:41.000 Why not?
01:34:42.000 I mean, you want them to be happy.
01:34:43.000 There was this controversy not too long ago.
01:34:47.000 A woman wrote a book about, you know, John Lilly.
01:34:50.000 Jamie just, yeah, I know what you're talking about.
01:34:52.000 Look at this.
01:34:53.000 There it is. 1.00
01:34:53.000 Hot doll, the sex doll for dogs. 1.00
01:34:57.000 And it's shaped like a dog, and you just got to get your horny dog. 1.00
01:35:01.000 And just back him up onto that bitch. 1.00
01:35:04.000 Wow. 1.00
01:35:05.000 That's hilarious. 1.00
01:35:06.000 We'll push him forward onto that bitch, I should say. 1.00
01:35:08.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:35:08.000 Back the bitch up onto him. 1.00
01:35:10.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:35:10.000 Well, why don't they just make one of them real dolls for a dog? 1.00
01:35:13.000 Give it hair, like the American Werewolf in London out there?
01:35:16.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:35:16.000 Something like that, where the dog doesn't feel dirty, like he's got to fuck some machine. 1.00
01:35:20.000 Because they didn't put any work whatsoever in the aesthetics. 0.98
01:35:24.000 Do you think the dogs care?
01:35:26.000 It might feel better for them.
01:35:28.000 They might get a little more excited if it looked like a real dog.
01:35:30.000 And you could give it like a soundtrack, a little...
01:35:32.000 Just how we're like looking over her shoulder. 1.00
01:35:38.000 Oh, please, please, please give me that doggy dick. 1.00
01:35:43.000 Doggy stop. 1.00
01:35:45.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:35:46.000 The woman who jerked off the dolphin. 0.99
01:35:48.000 Yes. 0.82
01:35:49.000 Well, what's fascinating about that story is this woman was living with a young adolescent male dolphin.
01:35:56.000 And this adolescent male dolphin, they were trying to get the dolphin to talk.
01:35:59.000 In a flooded house.
01:36:00.000 Yeah, in a flooded house.
01:36:01.000 So she lived in a place where she would have waist-high water everywhere she went so the dolphin could swim freely through the house and live with her.
01:36:08.000 But the dolphin was horny all the time. 1.00
01:36:10.000 And so he didn't want to do his studies.
01:36:12.000 Right.
01:36:12.000 So what she did was she beat him off.
01:36:14.000 And when word got out that she beat off the dolphin, they canceled all the research.
01:36:19.000 Is that what happened?
01:36:20.000 I thought the research, well...
01:36:22.000 They got in trouble.
01:36:23.000 They got in trouble, but recently, because she talked about it recently when she wrote a book about the time, and she was working with John Lilly, who went on to invent the sensory deprivation tank.
01:36:32.000 Well, no, I think he'd already invented it at the time.
01:36:35.000 He was on, like, one of the first iterations of it, and he was also giving acid to dolphins.
01:36:40.000 Right.
01:36:41.000 So it might have been that.
01:36:42.000 Yeah, that.
01:36:42.000 It was one of those things that led to them pulling the plug on the research.
01:36:46.000 It was either she was jerking it off and they found out... 0.99
01:36:49.000 I think the Defense Department was using his research to train dolphins to kill in Vietnam and to plant bombs and suicide bombs and shit. 1.00
01:36:58.000 They were training them to suicide bomb. 1.00
01:37:00.000 Unbelievable.
01:37:01.000 Which is crazy. 1.00
01:37:02.000 Crazy as shit. 0.97
01:37:03.000 It's crazy that they felt like that was... 1.00
01:37:05.000 Well, I guess, look, man, when you're in war, you're already deciding that you're killing people.
01:37:10.000 So the idea of killing dolphins to kill people, it's like...
01:37:15.000 And they didn't think of dolphins the way we think of dolphins today, either.
01:37:18.000 Like, that might be something the military would still be interested in doing.
01:37:22.000 I don't know.
01:37:23.000 I mean, maybe they are doing it.
01:37:24.000 They're just not telling us about it.
01:37:25.000 Well, they're fucking up a lot of whales with all their sonar testing.
01:37:27.000 Yeah, because they do these intense sound waves underwater, and the whales have very sensitive sound reception organs. 0.98
01:37:36.000 So it fucking blasts them, you know. 0.99
01:37:39.000 Does it give them like tinnitus or some shit? 1.00
01:37:41.000 I don't know. 0.99
01:37:41.000 Like a rock band? 0.99
01:37:42.000 Yeah, it could be.
01:37:43.000 Like the lead singer of ACDC? He can't do shows anymore.
01:37:45.000 Pete Townsend, yeah.
01:37:47.000 Really?
01:37:47.000 That's the who?
01:37:48.000 He can't hear anything?
01:37:49.000 Yeah, Pete Townsend's almost deaf too, right?
01:37:50.000 Yeah, he's been deaf for a while. 0.99
01:37:52.000 Yeah, the lead singer of ACDC, his ears are so fucked up he can't tour anymore. 0.99
01:37:57.000 Yeah, I can't go to concerts, man. 0.99
01:37:59.000 I've been to a few concerts recently.
01:38:01.000 I mean, never.
01:38:02.000 It's not a question of being old.
01:38:03.000 I hear that getting older, noise bothers you more, but I've always been annoyed by noise. 0.97
01:38:09.000 And especially where they're playing shit so loud that it's distorting the speakers. 0.97
01:38:15.000 It's like, that doesn't sound good. 0.99
01:38:18.000 Being louder isn't better.
01:38:20.000 But, I don't know, it's a weird...
01:38:22.000 Yeah, but there's a thing that people like to do. 0.97
01:38:24.000 They like to know that they're really fucking partying, man. 0.98
01:38:28.000 That's it. 0.99
01:38:28.000 Really partying. 0.99
01:38:29.000 Turn it up to 11. You know, and I think those are the people that need to go to the fucking gym. 1.00
01:38:39.000 They need a heavy bag. 0.99
01:38:40.000 Yeah, that's it.
01:38:40.000 See?
01:38:41.000 This is it. 0.84
01:38:41.000 This keys back into me being a lazy hippie. 0.84
01:38:44.000 I like moderate sound.
01:38:46.000 I don't need it all the way up. 1.00
01:38:48.000 Get something to beat up, you fucks. 1.00
01:38:50.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:38:51.000 And stop this.
01:38:51.000 Get it out.
01:38:53.000 So, have you ever been to the Salton Sea?
01:38:56.000 No, I have not, but I saw that you were there recently.
01:38:58.000 I was there like a week ago.
01:38:59.000 I saw some photos.
01:38:59.000 Yeah.
01:39:00.000 You should come out there, man.
01:39:01.000 I want to.
01:39:02.000 It's an intense post-apocalyptic scene out there.
01:39:05.000 Did you see the...
01:39:05.000 It was John Waters did a documentary on it, I believe?
01:39:08.000 No, I don't know.
01:39:09.000 There was a scene in Into the Wild where the kid is there.
01:39:13.000 Do you remember that?
01:39:14.000 He's hanging out with some hippies in like a desert... 0.83
01:39:17.000 That was in the Salton Sea?
01:39:18.000 Yeah, he was in Slab City, which is in the Salton Sea.
01:39:21.000 Oh, wow.
01:39:23.000 Yeah, I've got...
01:39:23.000 My buddy Tao does a...
01:39:25.000 This year is the second Bombay Beach Biennale he's doing.
01:39:30.000 Oh, look at that.
01:39:32.000 That's that guy.
01:39:33.000 Salvation Mountain.
01:39:34.000 That's that guy that has been making this mountain out of art and painting it for years.
01:39:42.000 It's all about God and Jesus and love.
01:39:45.000 Yeah.
01:39:45.000 He mixes paint and straw and mud, and he built this whole thing.
01:39:50.000 Yeah, it's a crazy structure he's been working on for decades, right?
01:39:53.000 Yeah.
01:39:53.000 He died a couple of years ago.
01:39:55.000 Oh, he did?
01:39:56.000 Well, she's hot. 1.00
01:39:56.000 Is that Kristen Stewart? 1.00
01:39:57.000 Yeah.
01:39:58.000 Oh, yeah.
01:40:00.000 Yeah.
01:40:00.000 Her dad used to be one of the producer guys on Fear Factor.
01:40:08.000 He was like...
01:40:09.000 I don't know what his official title was, but he was like the guy who got everything together, like got everybody in place and made sure everything was running.
01:40:17.000 Big job.
01:40:18.000 Yeah, he was like the guy on the street, like while everything was going on.
01:40:22.000 Really good dude.
01:40:23.000 Fun guy. 0.99
01:40:24.000 Crazy man. 0.99
01:40:25.000 And that's his daughter. 0.99
01:40:27.000 And I was always like, dude, you shouldn't have your kid act.
01:40:30.000 She's so young.
01:40:31.000 Seems crazy.
01:40:32.000 She'll never make it.
01:40:33.000 Yeah.
01:40:35.000 Well, she was a Twilight girl.
01:40:37.000 Became like one of the most famous actresses.
01:40:40.000 I never saw her until Saturday Night Live a couple days ago.
01:40:44.000 Oh, really?
01:40:44.000 Yeah.
01:40:45.000 What was she on Saturday Night Live?
01:40:45.000 What was she doing on there?
01:40:46.000 She hosted.
01:40:47.000 Oh, no kidding.
01:40:47.000 This last, yeah, just this last night.
01:40:48.000 She got some new movie coming out or something?
01:40:51.000 I don't know what she was doing.
01:40:52.000 I don't know what she was promoting.
01:40:53.000 If anything, I didn't catch it.
01:40:56.000 I just watched it because of that scene with Kathy Bates doing Sean Spicer.
01:41:01.000 Did you see that?
01:41:01.000 No, but I heard it was awesome.
01:41:03.000 I haven't seen it.
01:41:04.000 Megan McCarthy, not Kathy Bates.
01:41:06.000 Oh, Megan McCarthy.
01:41:06.000 Thank you.
01:41:07.000 Kathy Bates.
01:41:07.000 I keep saying Kathy Bates.
01:41:09.000 I don't think it's Megan McCarthy.
01:41:11.000 It's Melissa McCarthy.
01:41:12.000 I'm sorry. 1.00
01:41:12.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00
01:41:14.000 Correcting your correcting. 1.00
01:41:15.000 I think that that show, Saturday Night Live, is all the evidence we need that Donald Trump needs to do mushrooms.
01:41:21.000 Yeah.
01:41:21.000 Because he keeps tweeting about Alec Baldwin doing that sketch about him and saying it's not funny.
01:41:25.000 Like, dude, why are we laughing?
01:41:26.000 Tell me what's going on.
01:41:28.000 Why are we laughing? 0.98
01:41:28.000 Like, if someone's shitting on you, Look, it doesn't feel good. 0.98
01:41:32.000 I know it doesn't feel good. 0.98
01:41:33.000 But it is funny.
01:41:34.000 Yeah.
01:41:35.000 You know? 0.99
01:41:35.000 And Alec Baldwin does do a fucking amazing impression. 0.99
01:41:38.000 It's incredible. 0.98
01:41:38.000 It's his best work. 0.98
01:41:39.000 It's right up there with that whole fucking closers get coffee. 0.99
01:41:42.000 Oh. 0.99
01:41:44.000 Glengarry Glen Ross.
01:41:45.000 Glengarry Glen Ross.
01:41:45.000 Yeah.
01:41:46.000 I mean, that rant that he did in that movie.
01:41:48.000 That's insane. 0.99
01:41:49.000 Fucking epic, right? 0.99
01:41:50.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99
01:41:50.000 I think this Trump impression's right up there. 0.99
01:41:52.000 Yeah.
01:41:53.000 It's really good.
01:41:53.000 It's really good.
01:41:54.000 And it's getting better, too.
01:41:56.000 The more he does it, the better.
01:41:57.000 He looks more and more like him.
01:41:59.000 What does it say there?
01:42:01.000 Bad news for Trump?
01:42:02.000 Saturday Night Live in the midst of a ratings renaissance?
01:42:04.000 Of course it is.
01:42:05.000 And that's one of the reasons why.
01:42:08.000 Saturday Night Live is like a show that goes in cycles.
01:42:11.000 You have these cycles of greatness.
01:42:13.000 And then they try to find themselves.
01:42:15.000 People leave.
01:42:16.000 New people struggle a little bit.
01:42:18.000 There's always something good there.
01:42:19.000 But it's almost like...
01:42:22.000 It's really, it's got to be insanely difficult to create a new show every week.
01:42:26.000 Insane.
01:42:27.000 Yeah.
01:42:27.000 You know?
01:42:29.000 Total dog-eat-dog environment.
01:42:31.000 Yeah.
01:42:31.000 And even, like, you look, if you go back and look at videos from the Glory days, you know, the Dan Aykroyd days and, you know, John Belushi and all that, there was still a lot of filler in there.
01:42:40.000 Oh, for sure.
01:42:40.000 You know, we remember the Trout-o-matic and, you know, the great moments.
01:42:44.000 The samurai, John Belushi samurai character.
01:42:47.000 Exactly.
01:42:47.000 Exactly.
01:42:47.000 You couldn't do that anymore.
01:42:48.000 That'd be cultural appropriation.
01:42:50.000 That'd be racism. 0.99
01:42:50.000 A lot of shit you couldn't do. 0.99
01:42:51.000 You probably couldn't do the, we're two wild and crazy guys. 1.00
01:42:54.000 I don't know. 0.94
01:42:55.000 I mean, they were white.
01:42:56.000 Right, they were white, but they were definitely foreign.
01:42:58.000 But could you do Borat?
01:42:59.000 Could you do Borat today?
01:43:01.000 I don't know.
01:43:02.000 I mean, Borat was just a few years ago, right?
01:43:04.000 Yeah.
01:43:04.000 But it might be different.
01:43:06.000 If he tried it today...
01:43:08.000 Incredibly racist. 0.98
01:43:09.000 And he's like an orthodox Jew, that guy. 0.98
01:43:14.000 The comedian who does Borat.
01:43:16.000 Is he really?
01:43:16.000 Yeah, he's like a seriously religious, you know, honors the Shabbat and all that kind of stuff, serious Jewish practicing Jew.
01:43:24.000 I forgot his real name.
01:43:25.000 He's Ali G to me.
01:43:26.000 Yeah, me too.
01:43:28.000 He's Ali G. Ali G's his best work.
01:43:32.000 When he would interview people and they didn't know he was Ali G. He can't do that anymore.
01:43:35.000 But when he interviewed, like, he interviewed Buzz Aldrin.
01:43:39.000 Oh! 0.60
01:43:40.000 Who explained humor to him.
01:43:42.000 Right?
01:43:43.000 That was one of the greatest moments ever.
01:43:46.000 He's explaining humor while he's in the midst of a joke that he doesn't know is happening.
01:43:51.000 Yeah.
01:43:51.000 Poor Buzz.
01:43:52.000 Poor Buzz.
01:43:53.000 Poor Buzz.
01:43:53.000 He got owned.
01:43:54.000 Yeah.
01:43:55.000 But you know who, my favorite, one of the few where he wasn't getting owned was Ralph Nader.
01:44:01.000 Oh, yeah.
01:44:01.000 Do you remember that one?
01:44:02.000 Yeah, Ralph Nader just kind of went with them.
01:44:04.000 Well, what happened was, so Ali G's doing this whole thing where they're talking about the environment and global warming, and he says, well, but isn't a major cause of global warming the cow farts?
01:44:16.000 And so shouldn't we just put balloons on cows? 0.97
01:44:20.000 And he gets into this whole thing, right? 0.53
01:44:21.000 And Ralph Nader's looking at him, and you can see When the balloons on the cow's asses thing comes out, Ralph Nader's like, oh, wait a minute. 0.99
01:44:30.000 And so he just sort of, when Ali G finishes talking, he says, well, you know, scientists have been working on that, but it's very hard to develop a valve that perfectly fits a cow's asshole. 0.99
01:44:42.000 And then it cuts. 0.99
01:44:43.000 Right?
01:44:44.000 It just cuts.
01:44:45.000 And then the next scene, like after commercial or whatever, you see Ali G and Ralph Nader rapping together.
01:44:51.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
01:44:53.000 Did he do one of those with Trump?
01:44:56.000 Oh, he did!
01:44:57.000 Trump walked out on it.
01:44:58.000 Let's play this.
01:45:01.000 Are we going to get in trouble right now?
01:45:04.000 Hold on.
01:45:05.000 What are we doing?
01:45:06.000 Hold on, he's gonna do something.
01:45:08.000 Why are we getting in trouble? 0.86
01:45:09.000 Well, we get our shit pulled from YouTube all the time if it has content in from someone else's video. 0.96
01:45:14.000 Oh, really? 0.93
01:45:15.000 Yeah, you can't even play the audio.
01:45:21.000 So...
01:45:22.000 What is the problem with ice cream?
01:45:33.000 Are people listening to this?
01:45:36.000 Audio will, but YouTube people are not.
01:45:38.000 So we're watching this, and Donald Trump is getting upset at Ali G. People are just hearing silence. 0.96
01:45:44.000 We just kill it then. 1.00
01:45:44.000 It's just stupid to do it this way. 1.00
01:45:46.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:45:47.000 Yeah, it's whenever someone's content gets played, like anybody who owns this video, we play their video, we get pulled off of YouTube.
01:45:53.000 Yeah, this is one that would get us yanked.
01:45:55.000 And then what do you do?
01:45:55.000 You have to go, like, cut it out.
01:45:57.000 Yeah, you have to cut it out.
01:45:58.000 Put it back up.
01:45:59.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:46:00.000 It's, uh...
01:46:02.000 I get it.
01:46:03.000 You know, I get it.
01:46:03.000 They want people to...
01:46:04.000 But we always try to tell people to go to that video.
01:46:06.000 Well, that's it.
01:46:06.000 You're sending traffic their way, right?
01:46:08.000 But it's funny.
01:46:09.000 Go find it.
01:46:10.000 Go find it.
01:46:10.000 Yeah, that's funny.
01:46:12.000 I didn't know Sacha Baron Cohen.
01:46:13.000 Is he a practicing Orthodox Jew?
01:46:15.000 I believe so, yeah.
01:46:16.000 Interesting.
01:46:17.000 Yeah, it's interesting.
01:46:18.000 Because you think of comics as...
01:46:20.000 I mean, I think of...
01:46:21.000 Do you know other religious comics?
01:46:23.000 Hmm.
01:46:24.000 Because there's an irreverent, an intellectual irreverence.
01:46:28.000 There are a few.
01:46:29.000 There are a few.
01:46:31.000 Jim Gaffigan's Catholic.
01:46:33.000 Oh, yeah.
01:46:34.000 That's sort of his shtick, right?
01:46:36.000 I don't know if it's his shtick.
01:46:38.000 I think he's actually a practicing Catholic.
01:46:41.000 How much of that is legit?
01:46:42.000 No, but I mean, that's his sort of identity.
01:46:45.000 I don't mean it's not legit.
01:46:46.000 I just mean, like, he's the family man.
01:46:48.000 He definitely is.
01:46:49.000 Yeah.
01:46:50.000 What is this?
01:46:51.000 Is this him?
01:46:52.000 Sasha Baron Cohen says, I wouldn't say I'm a religious man.
01:46:54.000 I'm proud of my Jewish identity, and there are certain things I do and customs I keep.
01:47:00.000 Okay.
01:47:01.000 He tries to keep kosher and attends synagogue about twice a year.
01:47:05.000 He tries to keep kosher, but he's not saying he's...
01:47:07.000 He wouldn't say he's a religious Jew, but he tries to keep kosher.
01:47:11.000 Alright.
01:47:12.000 That sounds like he's halfway in.
01:47:13.000 He's got one foot in, one foot out.
01:47:16.000 I mean, you gotta think about the movies he makes.
01:47:18.000 You can only be so religious and make those movies.
01:47:20.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:47:22.000 I don't know.
01:47:23.000 This whole thing about comics thinking differently...
01:47:26.000 Saturday, I was at Jake Johansson's house.
01:47:30.000 He does this Cajun cooking every Christmas.
01:47:33.000 And I was there, and there was a guy, Haney, a comic.
01:47:41.000 Haney.
01:47:44.000 Alan Haney.
01:47:45.000 Havy?
01:47:46.000 Havy.
01:47:46.000 Yeah.
01:47:46.000 Yeah, Alan Havy, who I recognize from Mad Men, and then since I met him, I've seen him everywhere.
01:47:53.000 He's on that The Man in the High Castle and all these shows.
01:47:57.000 Anyway, so we're there, and we're talking, and we're talking about this thing.
01:48:00.000 We're talking about the Stanhope.
01:48:01.000 By the way, I didn't finish that cliffhanger thing, but if someone wants to listen to something...
01:48:08.000 Go check those two episodes out.
01:48:09.000 Do you remember the names of the episodes?
01:48:11.000 They're called The Cliffhangers?
01:48:11.000 The Cliffhangers, yeah.
01:48:13.000 But it's very intense, huh?
01:48:15.000 It's very intense.
01:48:16.000 Anyway, so we're talking about this, and I said, have you guys seen this movie The Aristocrats?
01:48:22.000 Because it's really about how comics think differently, you know, like how nothing is offensive.
01:48:27.000 And they're like, yeah, yeah, that's a great movie, and that really gets to it, and, you know, whatever, the conversation continues.
01:48:32.000 So then I go home, and a couple days later, I'm sitting there, and I had a copy of The Aristocrats.
01:48:37.000 And I thought, I haven't seen that since it came out.
01:48:38.000 I'm going to watch it.
01:48:39.000 So I watch The Aristocrats. 1.00
01:48:41.000 They're both in the fucking movie. 0.99
01:48:44.000 And neither one of them says anything to me, right? 0.99
01:48:47.000 So again, it's this LA thing where everything's the opposite of what I consider normal.
01:48:54.000 So in LA, I thought about this a lot because it was so shocking to me that they were just like, oh yeah, it's a great film.
01:49:01.000 And then I'm watching and I'm like, there they are.
01:49:03.000 How do you not say, oh, we're in that movie?
01:49:06.000 How do you not say that?
01:49:08.000 It can only be that in LA, like, name-dropping is so uncool that cool becomes what you don't say.
01:49:19.000 Yeah, it could be that.
01:49:21.000 That definitely could be it.
01:49:22.000 Because people see famous people all the time in LA, so it's like, if you're like, oh, I saw Joe Rogan in the supermarket, people are like, yeah, yeah, whatever, man.
01:49:29.000 It could also be that some people don't like talking about their work.
01:49:33.000 Some people avoid talking about, especially talking about the work of stand-up when they're not talking to a stand-up.
01:49:40.000 Yeah.
01:49:41.000 I do that.
01:49:42.000 Really?
01:49:42.000 Yeah.
01:49:43.000 So you wouldn't mention that you were in the movie?
01:49:46.000 If I could get away with not mentioning it, I might.
01:49:49.000 I might just skirt out of there.
01:49:50.000 That's funny, man.
01:49:52.000 Well, to you, I would.
01:49:53.000 I'm still a small-town boy, because to me, it's like, you're in a movie! 1.00
01:49:56.000 Holy shit, man! 1.00
01:49:57.000 Tell everybody. 0.99
01:49:57.000 To you, I would certainly tell you that I was in that movie if you brought it up, but you're my friend. 0.99
01:50:01.000 But if I didn't know you and some weirdo at a party, I'd have to take a chance with just talking about stand-up to you.
01:50:08.000 Oh, yeah.
01:50:08.000 Yeah, it's a good movie.
01:50:09.000 All right.
01:50:10.000 Hey, look up over there.
01:50:10.000 Chips.
01:50:11.000 Gotta go.
01:50:12.000 Cheese puffs, my favorite!
01:50:14.000 So I get cornered sometimes.
01:50:16.000 I mean, you've been cornered sometimes by people that just want to ask questions at you, like they're interviewing you.
01:50:20.000 So what's going on?
01:50:21.000 Like right now, I get a million people that want to corner me and ask me UFC questions.
01:50:26.000 Because the UFC just sold for some astronomical $4 billion whatever it is figure.
01:50:32.000 And so everybody wants to talk to me.
01:50:34.000 What's it like with the new owners?
01:50:35.000 It's like, oh, gotta go!
01:50:37.000 Gotta go!
01:50:38.000 You become like someone that you're, instead of having a conversation with people, they're interviewing you.
01:50:45.000 Yeah, and it's one-on-one.
01:50:46.000 It's not going out on TV or something.
01:50:48.000 It's not even that.
01:50:49.000 It's like, I don't necessarily want to talk about my work details and issues.
01:50:55.000 Like, what's it like working with my new bosses? 0.99
01:50:58.000 Yeah, who gives a shit, man? 0.99
01:51:02.000 Do you compartmentalize A lot? 0.99
01:51:05.000 I mean, is there the UFC part of your life, and there's the stand-up part of your life?
01:51:08.000 There has to be the UFC, because I don't swear. 0.99
01:51:11.000 I very, very rarely, like, say shit or something like that. 0.98
01:51:13.000 Is that hard? 0.99
01:51:14.000 No.
01:51:15.000 No, it's not very hard.
01:51:16.000 I just...
01:51:16.000 I just...
01:51:17.000 I don't think it's necessary.
01:51:19.000 You know, like, what I'm doing...
01:51:20.000 But I mean, to keep...
01:51:22.000 Because you're used to talking freely on the podcast.
01:51:24.000 I don't mean does it bother you.
01:51:27.000 No, no, no.
01:51:27.000 I didn't think you meant that.
01:51:29.000 I mean even difficult.
01:51:31.000 No, it's not difficult.
01:51:32.000 Because it is a totally different mindset.
01:51:35.000 I'm never trying to be funny.
01:51:37.000 Do you remember when Dennis Miller used to host Monday Night Football?
01:51:40.000 Yeah.
01:51:41.000 He did it for a little bit, and people got so mad.
01:51:43.000 Yeah, because he was trying to be funny.
01:51:44.000 He was cracking jokes.
01:51:45.000 Right.
01:51:46.000 And I remember remembering that.
01:51:48.000 Yeah.
01:51:49.000 And I didn't even watch it, but I remember people were really pissed at Dennis Miller.
01:51:52.000 And I thought about it, and I was like, well, I don't do that, and I'm not going to do that.
01:51:57.000 And it's like, Dennis is a joke writer.
01:52:00.000 Yeah.
01:52:00.000 He's a joke teller.
01:52:03.000 I have bits.
01:52:04.000 You know, it's kind of a different kind of comedy in the first place.
01:52:07.000 But then on top of that, it's like, that thing that's going on to me doesn't require much of me.
01:52:14.000 What it requires is me to explain things.
01:52:17.000 That's it.
01:52:18.000 Right.
01:52:18.000 So it doesn't require personality or flair or sense of humor or unique points of view other than unless I recognize something, like a pattern that's happening in a fight that allows the people at home to enjoy it more and it allows the person who's fighting,
01:52:34.000 the two people that are fighting, it represents them in an honorable way.
01:52:38.000 So that's my goal.
01:52:40.000 That's all I'm trying to do when I'm there.
01:52:41.000 I'm just trying to do my best to give justice to what I'm seeing.
01:52:46.000 You do a great job of that.
01:52:47.000 I'm not into UFC. I've started watching it since I've been hanging out with you, and I've gotten to know some of the personalities, and I've watched the whole Ronda Rousey thing, and this guy, the Irish guy.
01:53:01.000 Conor McGregor, you fuck. 1.00
01:53:03.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00
01:53:04.000 So it's pretty compelling.
01:53:07.000 And I think you do a very good job of that.
01:53:09.000 Your ego isn't in play at all.
01:53:12.000 No, it can't be.
01:53:14.000 You're a journalist.
01:53:15.000 You're just reporting.
01:53:16.000 Yeah, I try as much as possible to stay outside of it.
01:53:18.000 I mean, I'm thinking because I want to...
01:53:21.000 I mean, I'm constantly trying to stay on the ball.
01:53:23.000 But at my best, I'm just doing it, you know?
01:53:25.000 It's like I have to be...
01:53:27.000 Just tuned in, well-rested, well-fed, hyped up, ready to go.
01:53:33.000 Because it's a six-hour thing.
01:53:35.000 So I sit down for six hours, and oftentimes it's always at least ten fights.
01:53:41.000 It's usually eleven or twelve.
01:53:42.000 And you do all?
01:53:43.000 You do all of them?
01:53:44.000 They don't just bring you in for the last few?
01:53:46.000 No, I actually like doing it that way.
01:53:48.000 Because what happens is I get warmed up.
01:53:51.000 Sometimes fighting is so crazy, you have to go, oh yeah, okay, there's a fight going on.
01:53:56.000 Even though I've done it, I've called at least a thousand fights.
01:54:01.000 Probably closer to 2,000 fights.
01:54:02.000 I don't know how many actual fights I've been in front of while doing commentary, but it's at least a thousand.
01:54:08.000 Let's say it's probably 1,500 or something.
01:54:10.000 But even though that's the case, to this day, when one starts, I go, okay, this is a fight.
01:54:17.000 This is what's going on.
01:54:18.000 By the fifth fight of the night, I'm totally in the groove, and I'm just laser focused, concentrating on the action, trying to pick the right words, trying to describe it in the right way, and trying to give that perspective to someone at home that might not be seeing something that I might be seeing. 0.53
01:54:35.000 Yeah, especially all the wrestling, grappling techniques and shit.
01:54:38.000 That's a big part of it. 0.95
01:54:39.000 That's a big part of it.
01:54:40.000 People are used to seeing boxing and they know what an uppercut is or a hook or whatever, but yeah, when they get on the ground, I have no idea what's going on and you're talking about the arm bar and this and that.
01:54:50.000 That's the most difficult.
01:54:51.000 Are you below the stage?
01:54:53.000 Yeah.
01:54:54.000 I'm slightly below.
01:54:55.000 Do you see what's going on on the other side?
01:54:58.000 A hundred percent.
01:54:58.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:54:58.000 Well, sometimes I don't see, like if the referee stands in front of me and then I have to look at monitors.
01:55:02.000 Oh, you have a monitor.
01:55:03.000 So I have two monitors in front of me that give me two completely different angles. 0.99
01:55:06.000 Do you get splattered by sweat and blood and shit? 0.98
01:55:09.000 I've had blood splatter on me before. 1.00
01:55:10.000 I've got it in my mouth before.
01:55:12.000 One guy was talking to me and his nose was broken and every time he was talking it sprayed and I felt some of it grow on my lips.
01:55:23.000 Yeah, I've gotten sprayed.
01:55:30.000 It's like that's a easy part You know, their job was difficult.
01:55:35.000 Like, that's someone's blood.
01:55:36.000 Yeah.
01:55:37.000 Like, the guy getting hit.
01:55:38.000 And they're all tested.
01:55:40.000 Oh, yeah.
01:55:40.000 HIV and all that.
01:55:41.000 Oh, yeah.
01:55:41.000 Everything.
01:55:42.000 Everything.
01:55:42.000 Everything.
01:55:44.000 And, you know, guys have been stopped from fighting because of certain things that have come up in those tests. 0.97
01:55:50.000 Diseases and all kinds of shit. 0.94
01:55:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99
01:55:52.000 Sure. 0.99
01:55:53.000 Hepatitis, for sure.
01:55:54.000 Some organizations have, you know, pulled guys off cards because they found they have Well, you should.
01:55:59.000 Because that'll go blood to blood.
01:56:01.000 That's a bad thing to be getting.
01:56:03.000 Staph infections are a real big deal, too.
01:56:05.000 Sometimes people will get staph from the fighter they're fighting, and you find out the guy had a sore, a staph sore, and he wasn't alerting anybody to it.
01:56:11.000 That happens.
01:56:12.000 And a lot of that's antibiotic resistant now.
01:56:15.000 Yep.
01:56:15.000 Yeah.
01:56:16.000 Yeah.
01:56:16.000 Yeah.
01:56:17.000 Stuff is scary stuff.
01:56:18.000 Yeah.
01:56:18.000 It's one of those things that sort of rarely gets discussed.
01:56:21.000 But super important to keep healthy skin flora.
01:56:24.000 I tell people, this is one of the most important aspects of it, don't use antibacterial soap.
01:56:29.000 Yeah.
01:56:29.000 Don't do it.
01:56:30.000 You're going to ruin your skin flora. 0.96
01:56:32.000 Right. 1.00
01:56:32.000 You're fucking agent-oranging your whole skin. 1.00
01:56:35.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:56:35.000 Like, don't do it. 1.00
01:56:36.000 People think they're going to be healthier that way.
01:56:38.000 Oh, I'm just going to use antibacterial, and that way I won't get into diseases. 0.99
01:56:40.000 You'll get, like, crazy warts on your hands and shit. 0.96
01:56:43.000 Like, you've got to be real careful with that stuff. 0.94
01:56:45.000 Yeah.
01:56:45.000 You don't want to kill that flora.
01:56:46.000 Yeah, you know, the flora, this is something I researched for this book, that the cesarean section is a big problem.
01:56:53.000 Yeah, right, right.
01:56:54.000 Because you don't get the vaginal bath of skin flora, and also intestines. 0.72
01:56:59.000 They've actually rubbed vaginal, whatever that jazz is, on babies post-birth that have been given cesarean sections just to sort of get it on them.
01:57:08.000 Because if you don't, it gets colonized by whatever's floating around in the air, and you don't want what's floating in the air in the hospital. 0.99
01:57:14.000 Fuck yeah. 0.99
01:57:15.000 Yeah, it is a crazy thing, you know, that there's a process, and we think there's some details of that process. 1.00
01:57:21.000 We can skirt around that one. 1.00
01:57:23.000 We don't have to blow the pussy out. 1.00
01:57:25.000 No, no, no, we're just going to go through the roof. 1.00
01:57:27.000 We're going to pop up a sunroof on that bitch and just pull that baby. 1.00
01:57:29.000 And I've got a golf on Monday, so let's do this. 0.99
01:57:31.000 Let's stitch him up.
01:57:32.000 Everything's going to be fine. 1.00
01:57:33.000 She looks great in the vagina. 1.00
01:57:35.000 It retains its 100% elasticity. 1.00
01:57:39.000 God damn it's like a rose. 0.97
01:57:40.000 I mean, we have to acknowledge we're a couple of guys here who are never going to have our taints slit. 0.99
01:57:44.000 Oh, I get it.
01:57:45.000 I mean, I get it too.
01:57:46.000 I get it 100%.
01:57:47.000 But it's tough. 1.00
01:57:48.000 But I have a friend and his wife specifically was saying, a baby is not blowing my pussy out. 1.00
01:57:54.000 Not going to happen. 1.00
01:57:56.000 Yeah.
01:57:56.000 She's going through the roof no matter what.
01:58:01.000 I fucking get it. 1.00
01:58:02.000 It's such a primitive way to give birth. 1.00
01:58:04.000 Yeah.
01:58:05.000 You know?
01:58:05.000 You know the weirdest one is the hyena.
01:58:07.000 The hyena that gives birth out of that fake dick. 1.00
01:58:10.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:58:11.000 Big clits. 1.00
01:58:12.000 Hyenas have massive clits. 1.00
01:58:14.000 Well, it's a faux penis. 1.00
01:58:15.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:58:15.000 I mean, it literally looks like a giant dick. 1.00
01:58:18.000 And they're bigger. 1.00
01:58:19.000 That's what's fucked up about them. 0.99
01:58:20.000 They have a baby out of that thing, too. 1.00
01:58:22.000 And they ride the male and try to fuck them with that fake dick. 1.00
01:58:27.000 Weird animal, man. 1.00
01:58:28.000 Hyenas.
01:58:29.000 Woo, we're so lucky we don't have those over here.
01:58:31.000 So I was in Africa since I saw you.
01:58:32.000 Oh, what did you do over there?
01:58:33.000 Yeah, so I was in Mexico first, then I was in Thailand for six weeks, and then I was in Southern Africa.
01:58:39.000 I did a 10-day safari in Namibia, Botswana.
01:58:44.000 Yeah.
01:58:44.000 How was that?
01:58:46.000 I wouldn't do the same thing again.
01:58:49.000 It was cool.
01:58:50.000 It was wild dog safaris who do this sort of low budget, get in the van and sleep in tents at night kind of thing.
01:58:58.000 Right.
01:58:58.000 And I picked this massive 1,000, 1,500 mile, whatever, like, see all of Southern Africa, which was dumb because you're just sitting in a van most of the time.
01:59:08.000 What kind of shots did you have to get?
01:59:11.000 I didn't get any shots for that.
01:59:12.000 Really?
01:59:12.000 Yeah.
01:59:13.000 No, there's no yellow fever there.
01:59:15.000 There's some malaria, but I've been in lots of places with malaria, and I just avoid mosquitoes.
01:59:20.000 How do you do that?
01:59:22.000 Make sure you have a good net on your bed.
01:59:25.000 You wear long sleeve, light colored clothing.
01:59:28.000 Light colored?
01:59:29.000 Yeah.
01:59:29.000 Like white or something like that?
01:59:30.000 Yeah, white. 0.55
01:59:31.000 So they really are attracted to darker colors?
01:59:33.000 Well, I think it's because you don't see them.
01:59:35.000 If you have a white sleeve, you'll see them landing and flying around.
01:59:39.000 Oh, I see.
01:59:40.000 You're just constantly on the alert for little disease-carrying monsters.
01:59:43.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:59:43.000 And also, I'll occasionally use some of the DDT shit on my ankles and my neck and stuff. 0.99
01:59:50.000 But the other thing is you eat a lot of raw garlic. 0.99
01:59:53.000 Oh, I've heard that.
01:59:54.000 That's real?
01:59:55.000 That doesn't work?
01:59:55.000 Well, I mean, I've been doing it for years.
01:59:57.000 When I was on the road, backpacking in places, tropical places, I was eating raw garlic every day, which is really good for your intestines, by the way, your intestinal flora and all that.
02:00:06.000 But your skin smells like garlic.
02:00:08.000 Yeah.
02:00:09.000 You start sweating it out right away.
02:00:11.000 Oh, I smell like garlic all the time.
02:00:12.000 People complain.
02:00:13.000 I love the smell.
02:00:14.000 I like it too, but it's not good on your breath, right?
02:00:16.000 Agreed?
02:00:17.000 Well, what you do is you chop it up, right?
02:00:20.000 Put it, throw it in your mouth, and drink it down with water.
02:00:23.000 You don't chew it.
02:00:24.000 I chew it.
02:00:24.000 Chewing is what gives you the breath, because it gets in your teeth.
02:00:27.000 So if you take it like pills...
02:00:30.000 You'll get the garlic belch, and you get the garlic skin, but you don't get the garlic breath.
02:00:34.000 I would feel like I'm cheating, because I'm kind of a glutton for those uncomfortable moments where you know you're doing something good.
02:00:41.000 Like you're chomping down the garlic, and you feel those juices hit your tongue, and you're like, whoa!
02:00:47.000 You feel that and your nose starts opening up like...
02:00:49.000 Mix it with some fresh ginger.
02:00:53.000 I just throw it down, man.
02:00:55.000 Anytime there's any feeling at all of stomach disease or if I feel bad and I feel like I'm a little run down, I just choke down a bunch of cloves of garlic.
02:01:05.000 The other day I did it and it hit me so hard I had to take a knee.
02:01:09.000 I was like, oh!
02:01:11.000 Really?
02:01:11.000 Yeah, like as it was going down, I was like, whoa!
02:01:14.000 I mean, I could have stood up if I wanted to, but I wanted to sit down for dramatic purposes.
02:01:18.000 Like, wow!
02:01:18.000 You took a knee.
02:01:19.000 You're praising the good Lord, garlic.
02:01:21.000 I was like, oh my goodness, garlic.
02:01:22.000 What are you doing to my insides?
02:01:25.000 I had a horrendous stomach virus right around New Year's. 1.00
02:01:29.000 I went through my New Year's Eve show convinced I was going to shit myself. 0.99
02:01:34.000 I was like, there's going to be a point in this show where I'm just going to have to shit myself. 0.99
02:01:38.000 And I thought about it all day before the show. 0.99
02:01:41.000 I didn't eat anything.
02:01:41.000 I didn't eat anything all day.
02:01:44.000 From the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed.
02:01:46.000 I mean, I was having broken fire hydrant experiences in the toilet.
02:01:50.000 Liquid.
02:01:51.000 Yeah, it was just like, where is all this coming from?
02:01:55.000 You know, like, I couldn't believe it as it was happening.
02:01:58.000 You were losing weight by the minute.
02:01:59.000 Yeah, it was blowing out of me.
02:02:01.000 Something inside of me was terrible.
02:02:03.000 Like, whatever it was was terrible.
02:02:05.000 I had these farts that were, they smelled like fermented fruit and death.
02:02:11.000 Like death mixed with this fermented...
02:02:14.000 Like sulfur?
02:02:15.000 Like the most rotten meat you could ever...
02:02:19.000 Like if you opened up a refrigerator and the power had gone off while you were on vacation and you came back and there was some hamburger meat that was rotten.
02:02:26.000 It smelled like that and like...
02:02:30.000 Like sulfur and like sweet, like a vinegary, almost like a fermented sort of a smell to it.
02:02:39.000 It was horrendous.
02:02:41.000 Were you getting sulfur as belches?
02:02:42.000 Were you getting sulfur as belches?
02:02:43.000 No.
02:02:43.000 It was all going on inside my stomach because I wasn't eating much.
02:02:46.000 And it was something that went around through my whole house, my littlest daughter.
02:02:50.000 I mean, I didn't know what she was going through, but she was just constantly complaining about her stomach being really awful for like a whole week.
02:02:57.000 We were skiing in Aspen, and that's when it kicked in.
02:03:00.000 And when I get back, I was like, oh no, like this is bad.
02:03:04.000 I was like, I don't know if I could do this show.
02:03:06.000 Have you ever had an event on stage?
02:03:08.000 No.
02:03:08.000 Like a wet fart or something, or like, uh-oh.
02:03:11.000 No, I haven't, but interestingly enough, there's a new law that just got, well, it might be proposed, a new rule got proposed for the unified rules of mixed martial arts, where if you shit yourself, they stop the fight.
02:03:22.000 Which has happened before. 0.98
02:03:23.000 Guys have shit themselves, like, in the middle of a fight. 0.99
02:03:26.000 Just, like, loss of sphincter control? 1.00
02:03:29.000 Yeah, man, sometimes you gotta go.
02:03:31.000 Like, sometimes it's diarrhea, sometimes... 1.00
02:03:32.000 Someone could kick you in the fucking gut and just blast it out the back. 0.99
02:03:35.000 There was a guy named Michael Chiesa, who was a very good fighter, and... 1.00
02:03:38.000 And he was fighting Benil Darius, I believe.
02:03:43.000 Yes, that's what his fight was.
02:03:44.000 And Benil Darius, it was a big, because I remember it was a big victory for him because he choked Benil Darius out, which was giant, because Benil Darius was like super respected, jiu-jitsu black belt.
02:03:54.000 And Michael Chiesa, as he got into the octagon, looked over at me, he goes, dude, I might shit my pants!
02:03:59.000 He goes, I might shit my pants right while the fight's going on. 0.77
02:04:02.000 I'm like, seriously? 0.89
02:04:03.000 I was like, taking my headphones off.
02:04:04.000 I'm like, seriously? 0.99
02:04:05.000 He's like, yeah, I'm going to shit my pants. 0.98
02:04:06.000 And so, like, okay, I know. 0.99
02:04:08.000 And so, like, I'm holding this in the back of my head.
02:04:10.000 I'm like, I definitely shouldn't bring it up unless it becomes an issue.
02:04:13.000 Because I don't want the public to, like, dwell on that.
02:04:15.000 I want them to enjoy this great fight.
02:04:17.000 And then he got through without shitting himself.
02:04:19.000 And then, you know, I asked him after, like, off mic. 0.99
02:04:21.000 I'm like, did you almost shit yourself? 0.98
02:04:22.000 He's like, dude. 0.99
02:04:23.000 He goes, I came out of here. 0.99
02:04:24.000 I was convinced I was going to shit myself. 0.98
02:04:26.000 I used to get, like, before I would go on a TV show or do a big public speaking thing where there were going to be a lot of people there, I would, like, five, ten minutes before I was supposed to go on stage, I'd be like, I need to take a dump. 0.98
02:04:39.000 Like, I need to do it right now.
02:04:40.000 I've taken a few dumps here.
02:04:43.000 Sorry about that.
02:04:44.000 I'm more relaxed now.
02:04:45.000 It's what it's for.
02:04:46.000 But I think it's like a fight-or-flight thing.
02:04:50.000 I think animals get that, too. 0.92
02:04:51.000 It's like, oh, I've got to get my shit together, literally, and get it out of me so I'm light.
02:04:57.000 Well, it's also your body does not want to waste any resources dealing with that because it feels like there's some catastrophe about to take place. 0.97
02:05:05.000 There's a video of these two bears, these giant bears, and it was in that movie Grizzly Man, that crazy dude that lived up.
02:05:13.000 Yeah, I love that film.
02:05:15.000 What a great movie.
02:05:15.000 Yeah.
02:05:15.000 But these two bears are fighting, and while they're fighting, they start shitting.
02:05:19.000 Yeah.
02:05:20.000 Because their body's just like, look, whatever this is, get it out.
02:05:23.000 Get it out.
02:05:23.000 We're going to war here.
02:05:24.000 We're not processing.
02:05:25.000 Yeah, no thought whatsoever and no resources drawn away from the muscles to process the food.
02:05:32.000 Have you ever done that, like eating a big meal and then try to work out?
02:05:36.000 I never try to work out.
02:05:38.000 But if you did...
02:05:39.000 No, I know what you mean.
02:05:39.000 You're heavy.
02:05:40.000 You got nothing.
02:05:41.000 There's no energy.
02:05:42.000 No energy.
02:05:43.000 It's fascinating because it's almost like if you were a pie chart.
02:05:48.000 You could see there's a segment of that chart that is now missing.
02:05:51.000 You can kind of do it.
02:05:53.000 You can kind of work out.
02:05:54.000 But you definitely can't run a marathon or anything crazy.
02:05:57.000 If you do, you'll be hurting. 1.00
02:06:00.000 Oh, the fucking Wim Hof, man. 1.00
02:06:02.000 He's been on your show a bunch of times. 0.99
02:06:03.000 I hung out with him for like a week in the Pyrenees and went up to his place in Holland and sort of became friends.
02:06:09.000 I mean, that's an example of what I'm talking about.
02:06:11.000 I want to know these people.
02:06:13.000 When I reached out to them, they were like, yeah, we'll set up a thing.
02:06:16.000 You can do a Skype. 0.98
02:06:17.000 And I was like, fuck, I don't want to do a Skype. 0.99
02:06:18.000 I want to meet this dude. 1.00
02:06:20.000 Tell me.
02:06:21.000 Give me a day.
02:06:21.000 I'll fly to Holland.
02:06:23.000 I was in Spain at the time, so it wasn't a big flight.
02:06:26.000 But anyway... 0.98
02:06:27.000 I was talking to him about it, and it's like he's running all these marathons in the fucking desert with no water and in the Arctic and, you know. 0.98
02:06:33.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99
02:06:35.000 But the dude doesn't work out.
02:06:37.000 No, he runs marathons.
02:06:38.000 He doesn't work out.
02:06:39.000 He doesn't run because I hate running.
02:06:40.000 Yeah.
02:06:41.000 I'm like, well, how do you run a marathon if you don't train?
02:06:44.000 He's like, oh, it's just the mind.
02:06:47.000 Yeah, I don't know what he's talking about.
02:06:48.000 I ran a 5k and I was ready to die. 1.00
02:06:51.000 I run up the fucking driveway out of breath. 1.00
02:06:54.000 I don't run. 0.99
02:06:55.000 And I ran a 5k and I was like, wow, this is actually difficult.
02:06:59.000 I'm like, I'm in great shape.
02:07:00.000 I'm going to be able to do this.
02:07:01.000 I work out all the time.
02:07:02.000 I'm like, I'm just going to go on this run.
02:07:03.000 It's going to be just a thing I do.
02:07:05.000 Uh-uh.
02:07:06.000 Because you're not used to using those muscles in that way?
02:07:09.000 Or was it cardiopulmonary?
02:07:12.000 I used to waffle, covered with peanut butter, and then covered with maple syrup.
02:07:16.000 I gave myself an excuse.
02:07:18.000 I'm like, I'm going to run this crazy race today.
02:07:19.000 I'm going to carb up.
02:07:20.000 I'm going to carb up.
02:07:21.000 But my body's just not used to eating that nonsense.
02:07:24.000 So I think it had shut down production of a lot of key ingredients.
02:07:29.000 It was definitely that.
02:07:30.000 I was feeling it.
02:07:31.000 While I was running, I could feel the gases from the waffle coming out of my throat.
02:07:36.000 I could taste it.
02:07:38.000 The peanut butter and syrup together.
02:07:40.000 So much sugar.
02:07:42.000 But it's all just your feet.
02:07:45.000 Your feet aren't used to running.
02:07:46.000 It was on concrete.
02:07:48.000 The whole thing is weird.
02:07:49.000 Yeah, and the shocks on your knees and your ankles.
02:07:51.000 You ever read Born to Run?
02:07:53.000 No, but I do know the premise of it.
02:07:56.000 Christopher McDougall.
02:07:57.000 It's about the way running shoes are developed.
02:08:01.000 Yeah, and how our bodies are designed to run on the balls of our feet.
02:08:04.000 And he goes down and lives with the Tarahumar Indians in Mexico and the Barranca del Cobre, where I was in 1988. I was back there with those Indians.
02:08:15.000 And they run into like really thin shoes or barefoot.
02:08:17.000 Barefoot or they make these sandals out of tire.
02:08:21.000 Yeah.
02:08:21.000 You know, it's just strapped on their foot.
02:08:23.000 It's just a thing.
02:08:23.000 Yeah.
02:08:24.000 And they run forever.
02:08:25.000 Yeah.
02:08:26.000 Well, that's how the body's meant.
02:08:27.000 And I mean, we're meant to use the foot as this amazing shock absorber.
02:08:31.000 You know, you land on the ball of the foot.
02:08:32.000 Right.
02:08:32.000 Calf muscle.
02:08:33.000 That's what the calf muscle's for. 0.98
02:08:35.000 Yeah.
02:08:35.000 And also the arch and there are all these bones.
02:08:38.000 Mm-hmm.
02:08:38.000 Yeah, it's crazy.
02:08:41.000 It's like the birth thing, you know?
02:08:42.000 I just saw this thing yesterday, this sock.
02:08:44.000 It's the same thing.
02:08:45.000 I mean, it's supposed to be replacing that barefoot feeling, I suppose.
02:08:49.000 It's a really expensive sock.
02:08:50.000 It's like 80 bucks.
02:08:51.000 Just a sock?
02:08:52.000 What kind of a...
02:08:52.000 It shows at the end of the video.
02:08:54.000 It shows what it's made of.
02:08:55.000 It's got some sort of spray polymer that's like 15 times stronger than steel.
02:08:59.000 Whoa! 0.71
02:08:59.000 So you can do rock climbing, tightrope walking. 0.71
02:09:02.000 Oh, wow!
02:09:02.000 You can run outside.
02:09:03.000 And it's just as...
02:09:04.000 I guess it feels like silk.
02:09:06.000 It feels just like a sock. 1.00
02:09:07.000 Holy shit. 0.99
02:09:09.000 I'm pretty interested in it. 0.99
02:09:09.000 I don't know how legit it is. 0.99
02:09:11.000 Dude, let's get it.
02:09:12.000 It's pretty new.
02:09:12.000 I work out barefoot most of the time.
02:09:15.000 I work out barefoot when I do kickboxing, work out barefoot if I do jiu-jitsu, work out barefoot if I lift weights.
02:09:21.000 I do almost everything barefoot.
02:09:22.000 Occasionally I'll do like an elliptical machine or something like that with shoes on.
02:09:26.000 But I feel like when you are barefoot, like I do yoga barefoot obviously, I feel like when you're barefoot you can feel your toes are like digging into the ground.
02:09:34.000 They're all engaging.
02:09:35.000 Right.
02:09:36.000 I feel like it makes a big difference.
02:09:38.000 And a lot of the nervous system terminates in the sole of the feet.
02:09:42.000 So there's, in Chinese medicine, there's a lot of attention paid, you know, reflexology is about how...
02:09:51.000 Is that real?
02:09:51.000 I don't know how real it is, but it is real that a lot of the nervous system terminates at the soles of the feet.
02:09:57.000 That's why foot massage feels so good.
02:10:16.000 Psychological health and nervous health.
02:10:18.000 That makes sense.
02:10:18.000 It does make sense, yeah.
02:10:20.000 It just feels good to do.
02:10:21.000 It feels like you're digging into the ground.
02:10:24.000 Things feel good for a reason, right?
02:10:27.000 We're evolved to have them feel good because it's good for us.
02:10:31.000 It brings us back to beating off. 1.00
02:10:32.000 Or fucking one of those dog things. 1.00
02:10:34.000 Or jerking off a dog with your foot. 1.00
02:10:37.000 We should call that company and ask questions and they say, like, what kind of dog do you have? 0.82
02:10:40.000 Oh, I don't have a dog.
02:10:42.000 No.
02:10:44.000 Yeah, there's some nefarious intentions. 1.00
02:10:46.000 I just like watching dogs fuck robots. 0.99
02:10:50.000 It's just for, yeah, dogs that wander by. 1.00
02:10:54.000 Yeah, my friend Joe, when I was growing up, Joe Spagnuolo, he had a dog that was this really ornery little dog, and this dog had a stuffed animal that it would fuck. 0.99
02:11:07.000 And it would just bite this stuffed animal and fuck the shit out of it. 0.99
02:11:11.000 And you'd come over his house, Joe Spaggs, you'd go over his house and his dog would be fucking the shit out of this stuffed animal. 1.00
02:11:18.000 And you're like, whoa, dude. 0.99
02:11:19.000 How did he clean it?
02:11:20.000 I don't know, man.
02:11:20.000 You couldn't even go near that thing.
02:11:21.000 That dog would be like...
02:11:24.000 He would get ferocious if you tried to get near his stuffed animal. 0.98
02:11:28.000 He was a little tiny-ass dog, too.
02:11:30.000 I don't remember what he was. 0.96
02:11:31.000 Well, that's like your friend with a restraining order, man.
02:11:33.000 Love is love, you know?
02:11:35.000 There's no way around it.
02:11:36.000 What are you going to do?
02:11:37.000 But that dog was obsessed.
02:11:38.000 Like, that was his world. 1.00
02:11:39.000 His world was like biting the stuffed animal and just fucking the shit out of it. 0.99
02:11:46.000 Hey, somebody asked me to raise an issue with you. 1.00
02:11:49.000 Okay.
02:11:50.000 Apparently, you're under the impression that everyone died at 30 in prehistory.
02:11:55.000 Is that true?
02:11:56.000 I joke around about that all the time, that lifespans were incredibly low a long time ago.
02:12:00.000 People lived to be like 30. You know, it's hyperbole for the most part.
02:12:04.000 I know people did live longer, but the age that people died, the average age, was much lower than it is today.
02:12:11.000 Just because lots of babies died.
02:12:13.000 Is that all it is?
02:12:13.000 Yeah, it's a mathematical average, but our species, by design, has evolved to live into our 60s and 70s.
02:12:21.000 And hunter-gatherers who get through the first few years where there's a lot of risk...
02:12:26.000 Oh, so it's a youth thing.
02:12:28.000 Oh, so it's all rounded out.
02:12:29.000 It's a math thing, yeah.
02:12:30.000 Oh, that's interesting, because I was under the impression that people just died of violence and a lot of diseases by the time they were in their 30s.
02:12:37.000 No, most of the diseases that we suffer from are the result of agriculture.
02:12:43.000 So you look at all the major killers of humans.
02:12:47.000 Swine flu.
02:12:48.000 From pigs, right?
02:12:49.000 Chicken pox from chickens, obviously.
02:12:52.000 Avian bird flu.
02:12:53.000 All the flus come from domesticated birds.
02:12:55.000 Go back to that, Jamie.
02:12:56.000 What are you posting up there?
02:12:57.000 Human lifespan nearly constant for 2,000 years.
02:13:00.000 Whoa.
02:13:00.000 So like ultimate lifespan?
02:13:02.000 But what I was talking about mostly is disease and violence.
02:13:06.000 Yeah, the violence thing is overrepresented.
02:13:09.000 Unless you live in Mongolia.
02:13:11.000 If you read the, yes, what is it, 75?
02:13:15.000 I don't know if that looks like a prehistory.
02:13:17.000 Is this not good?
02:13:18.000 Okay, life expectancy for men in 1907 was 45 years.
02:13:22.000 45 years.
02:13:23.000 By 1957, it rose to 66. 2007, it reached 75. Unlike the most recent increase in life expectancy, which is attributed largely to a decline in half of the leading causes of death, including heart disease, homicide, and influenza, the increase in life expectancy between 1907 and 2007 was largely due to the decreasing infant mortality rate,
02:13:45.000 which is like 9.99%.
02:13:47.000 That's interesting.
02:13:48.000 So what that is like...
02:13:50.000 Is like the wage gap, the gender wage gap issue.
02:13:55.000 Where a lot of people say, they love to quote that thing, they say that men make so much more money than women that women make sort of 80 cents to the dollar.
02:14:04.000 But they're doing different jobs.
02:14:06.000 So, like, you think about it, you go, wow, there's an injustice going on.
02:14:09.000 And then you realize, like, well, maybe there is some sexism, but this is not what they're talking about when they're saying this.
02:14:14.000 They're talking about different jobs.
02:14:16.000 The men are at higher risk.
02:14:18.000 They die more often on the job. 0.98
02:14:20.000 They almost exclusively populate the community of miners and lumberjacks and shit like that where people get hit by trees. 1.00
02:14:26.000 Right. 0.99
02:14:27.000 And women take time off when they have kids. 1.00
02:14:30.000 They also work less hours.
02:14:31.000 They're less crazy. 1.00
02:14:33.000 Some men will fucking work themselves to death where very few women will take it to that level. 0.99
02:14:37.000 There certainly are plenty of examples of men and women doing exactly the same job and women are getting paid less. 0.98
02:14:43.000 I'm sure it must happen, but it's not statistically significant.
02:14:47.000 Statistically, it's not what you're talking about.
02:14:48.000 Yeah, and you know what they attribute that from?
02:14:50.000 When women get less, they think that one thing to be considered when you look at that is that women might not be as aggressive when they're negotiating a starting salary. 0.99
02:14:58.000 Right.
02:14:59.000 And that men may be more confident and cocksure of their worth, more cocky with how they...
02:15:05.000 Who knows, though?
02:15:05.000 I don't...
02:15:06.000 But it's one of those things.
02:15:07.000 So I was under the impression that people did die...
02:15:10.000 Yeah, well, most people are under that impression.
02:15:12.000 I've given talks at medical schools and stuff, and all these doctors think that everyone died at 35. A 35-year-old was old.
02:15:20.000 And it works its way into medicine, where they're like, okay, look, the reason you have chronic back pain is that the human body was not evolved to live beyond 35. And so, of course, you have wear and tear and things like that.
02:15:33.000 That's totally false.
02:15:34.000 The human body's evolved to live into the 70s.
02:15:37.000 So it's a statistical thing.
02:15:39.000 It's like if Bill Gates moves into your neighborhood, suddenly everyone's average annual salary is hundreds of millions of dollars, right?
02:15:46.000 So if you count all these infants who died in prehistory, many of whom, by the way, died from infanticide, like twins normally are not allowed to survive.
02:15:56.000 The weaker one is left in the woods to die.
02:16:00.000 What? 0.92
02:16:00.000 Yeah. 0.92
02:16:01.000 Any sort of deform and malformality.
02:16:04.000 They would just leave them in the woods by themselves?
02:16:05.000 Yeah.
02:16:05.000 What a cruel way to handle it.
02:16:08.000 Yeah.
02:16:08.000 Ooh, that's dark, man.
02:16:09.000 They would leave them to wolves. 1.00
02:16:11.000 That's fucked up, man. 1.00
02:16:13.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:16:13.000 Leave your baby in a basket and run away. 1.00
02:16:15.000 Yeah.
02:16:15.000 Ooh!
02:16:17.000 Yeah, there's a lot of infanticide. 0.92
02:16:20.000 But, you know, in our world- A lot of it, huh?
02:16:22.000 Yeah.
02:16:22.000 Was just because the times were harder then, and it was more accepted that you were going to have to do some terrible things that you didn't want to do?
02:16:28.000 Well, it's just that, you know, if a kid's born physically fucked up in some way, You know, you're not going to have the resources, and that person's not going to grow up to contribute to the group.
02:16:43.000 And so generally, and also there's a different sense of life and death.
02:16:49.000 You know, I think where death is much more a daily presence, it's not that big a deal.
02:16:54.000 So we're all going to die.
02:16:55.000 I was reading about a tribe in the Amazon. 0.99
02:16:59.000 I can't remember the name of the tribe, but when someone gets too old to keep up with the group, Someone is chosen randomly, like they have a lottery or pick the shortest straw or whatever it is, and their job is to come up behind this old person and hit him in the back of the head with a hatchet. 0.94
02:17:18.000 Oh, boy! 0.88
02:17:20.000 Right.
02:17:21.000 And no one wants to do it.
02:17:22.000 It really sucks, but everyone agrees it has to be done, and it's the least cruel option that they've come up with.
02:17:31.000 You've got to be real careful the dude who keeps signing up for that job. 0.64
02:17:34.000 Exactly.
02:17:35.000 Me!
02:17:35.000 Me!
02:17:35.000 I got it, dude.
02:17:36.000 I'm good with the hatchet.
02:17:37.000 But you just did it last time, Joe. 1.00
02:17:38.000 Like fucking Popeye. 1.00
02:17:39.000 Joe, you've killed nine old ladies this month. 1.00
02:17:42.000 Hey, hey, this bitch is gone. 1.00
02:17:43.000 It's over. 1.00
02:17:44.000 Okay, we're just letting her suffer.
02:17:47.000 That's weird, man.
02:17:48.000 That's a weird gig.
02:17:50.000 So anyway, no human being has ever been old at the age of 40. Look at this.
02:17:55.000 Heartbreaking pictures of parents leaving their children in China's notorious baby hatches.
02:18:00.000 Oh, yeah.
02:18:00.000 What is that?
02:18:01.000 Well, that's probably girls. 1.00
02:18:03.000 The moment of despair is parents... 1.00
02:18:22.000 What in the fuck? 0.99
02:18:27.000 Oh my god, the baby, she says in quotes, my baby cannot take care of itself when it grows up. 1.00
02:18:31.000 One woman cries, explaining that her infant has Down syndrome.
02:18:35.000 I just want my baby to survive, she tells the Information Times, news-based in, I don't know how to say that, Guangzhou.
02:18:43.000 She had an accompanying female friend leave, both in tears. 1.00
02:18:46.000 Fuck, man. 1.00
02:18:48.000 Well, this has been happening forever. 1.00
02:18:50.000 I mean, we have safe baby drop-offs here.
02:18:53.000 Every hospital has a sign that it's a safe baby drop-off.
02:18:58.000 Take that off the screen, sir.
02:19:00.000 And in medieval Europe, it was so common that they had these little boxes that rotated.
02:19:08.000 And so you could leave your baby and just spin the box.
02:19:11.000 So you didn't have to look at it?
02:19:12.000 And no one would ever see you.
02:19:13.000 No one would see who was dropping it off.
02:19:15.000 It was anonymous.
02:19:16.000 Oh my God.
02:19:17.000 Very common.
02:19:18.000 They're called foundling hospitals.
02:19:20.000 And over 90% of the babies left there died within a year.
02:19:25.000 Boy.
02:19:26.000 In Germany they had, what are they called, angel makers.
02:19:30.000 And this is through the beginning of the 20th century up to World War II. It was a nanny that you hired with the understanding that your baby was going to die.
02:19:40.000 Wow. 0.99
02:19:40.000 So it was like a babysitter who's going to kill your baby. 0.99
02:19:43.000 Oh my God. 0.89
02:19:44.000 Yeah.
02:19:44.000 So you would hire this nanny because your kid had Down syndrome or some sort of a disease or something like that?
02:19:49.000 Or it was born like out of wedlock, you know, whatever. 0.88
02:19:53.000 So the nanny would kill the baby? 1.00
02:19:54.000 Yeah. 0.96
02:19:54.000 Oh my God. 0.96
02:19:55.000 They called them angel makers.
02:19:57.000 The idea that infanticide was statistically significant, that it's significant in the death of the population, that that was so common.
02:20:06.000 Well, I mean, today we have abortion. 0.97
02:20:08.000 And I don't want to get into, you know, heavy shit, but like now if a baby's inconvenient or there's a disease that's detected or whatever, you know. 0.99
02:20:16.000 Cut it off at the pass. 0.99
02:20:17.000 You cut it off at the pass.
02:20:18.000 In those days there wasn't, so it was sort of postnatal abortion, essentially.
02:20:22.000 I feel like abortion is one of those subjects where immediately upon breaching the subject, there's a tension in the room.
02:20:29.000 I've just felt it.
02:20:29.000 I apologize for it.
02:20:31.000 You're right.
02:20:32.000 There's no way.
02:20:34.000 Because the thing is, both sides are right.
02:20:36.000 Right.
02:20:36.000 That's the problem.
02:20:37.000 You're 100% right.
02:20:38.000 Yeah.
02:20:39.000 That's 100% the problem.
02:20:40.000 Yeah.
02:20:41.000 And there are a lot of issues like that.
02:20:43.000 Yeah, it's one of those things where people scream at you and get crazy and they'll pick a side and it's death and it's this and it's that and it's a woman's choice to choose and it's... 0.79
02:20:52.000 You're both right.
02:20:53.000 You're both right.
02:20:54.000 Like, I got in an argument once with a comedian about it and he...
02:20:59.000 It was about Richard Dawkins was talking about a, um, it was on Twitter, that an embryo, a human embryo, is like, it's almost no different than a pig embryo.
02:21:10.000 Like, he was making this, like, about, you know, six weeks of life or whatever it would be.
02:21:14.000 A very, very, very early age.
02:21:16.000 Yeah.
02:21:16.000 I guess that wouldn't even be an embryo, right?
02:21:18.000 What would it be?
02:21:19.000 It's still an embryo.
02:21:20.000 It's not a fetus yet.
02:21:21.000 Right, okay.
02:21:22.000 So an embryo is the earliest stages. 0.97
02:21:23.000 And he was comparing it to a pig. 0.53
02:21:26.000 And I was like, well, you know how crazy that is? 0.99
02:21:28.000 That's a ridiculous thing to say because it's not going to be a pig. 0.99
02:21:30.000 But if you leave it alone, it's going to be a person. 0.99
02:21:32.000 So you know it's going to grow to be a person. 0.99
02:21:35.000 Saying that it's no different than a pig is totally disingenuous. 0.97
02:21:38.000 Right. 0.96
02:21:38.000 So, I mean, this comedian, we were arguing, and he started calling me a right-winger. 0.96
02:21:42.000 He's like saying that I was right-wing.
02:21:43.000 I'm like, I am not right-wing, but you are definitely killing a person that's about to be born.
02:21:49.000 I mean, that's what you're doing.
02:21:50.000 You're cutting it off.
02:21:51.000 Whether you cut it off at three cells or three months, it's the same thing.
02:21:54.000 It really is.
02:21:55.000 I mean, it's not.
02:21:56.000 It's not.
02:21:57.000 It becomes much more like a baby.
02:21:59.000 It looks more like a baby.
02:22:00.000 It's more intense of a procedure.
02:22:03.000 But once the process is started, you've decided, at various stages of the way, that it becomes okay.
02:22:10.000 You know, like, late-term abortions are frowned upon by almost everybody, right? 0.66
02:22:13.000 When you get into the fucking, the last couple of weeks of a baby's life, you can't really, or before it gets birthed. 0.97
02:22:19.000 Very few people are going to agree that you could just suck out the baby with a vacuum when it's nine months old. 0.99
02:22:25.000 You know, that's a little intense, right?
02:22:27.000 Almost everybody agrees that's a little intense.
02:22:29.000 So that means that we all have some sort of a reasonable cutoff, anybody who believes in abortion.
02:22:34.000 We have some sort of a reasonable cutoff where we'll accept it.
02:22:37.000 When it's a bundle of cells, when it looks like a fish, like, when is it okay?
02:22:41.000 When's it okay?
02:22:42.000 And that's all I'm saying.
02:22:43.000 I'm not saying you should or shouldn't be able to do it.
02:22:45.000 And it's definitely not my choice.
02:22:47.000 I don't have a body that makes babies. 1.00
02:22:49.000 And do you think it starts at conception, or is jerking off killing millions of sperm cells? 1.00
02:22:54.000 No, because jerking off doesn't ever make that connection. 0.99
02:22:56.000 It's not a viable... 0.99
02:22:58.000 So it is conception.
02:22:59.000 ...process that started.
02:23:00.000 I mean, I don't necessarily think life starts at conception.
02:23:02.000 I mean, I literally have...
02:23:04.000 I mean, if someone can prove...
02:23:07.000 Like, if you had a turkey tester that pops up when you're pregnant, like the moment, bink! 1.00
02:23:10.000 Oh, shit, we got one. 1.00
02:23:11.000 And you can just push that sucker down, and that egg would... 1.00
02:23:15.000 Shoot out. 1.00
02:23:16.000 That fertilized egg would shoot out of your pussy, and then that would be a wrap. 1.00
02:23:19.000 I got no problem with that, right? 1.00
02:23:20.000 I don't have a problem with any of it.
02:23:22.000 I mean, I do. 0.99
02:23:22.000 I think intellectually, I wouldn't say I have a problem with it, because, again, I submit that I don't have a vagina. 0.99
02:23:29.000 I don't have ovaries. 0.98
02:23:30.000 I don't have a womb.
02:23:31.000 I'm not making babies.
02:23:33.000 I have an opinion, and that's it.
02:23:36.000 There's no way...
02:23:36.000 I should be able to say yes or no.
02:23:37.000 When I see it as this weird sort of a situation where we've figured out a way to terminate life inside the body where we can't see it yet.
02:23:46.000 It hasn't come out and said, Hi!
02:23:47.000 Hi, Daddy!
02:23:49.000 It hasn't done that yet.
02:23:50.000 So we could hit the brakes.
02:23:51.000 Okay, I don't want to do it.
02:23:53.000 Woo! 0.99
02:23:53.000 We figured it out. 0.99
02:23:55.000 I don't think that there's...
02:23:56.000 I don't necessarily think it's wrong or right.
02:23:59.000 But it is a thing.
02:24:01.000 Yeah.
02:24:01.000 You know, it's a thing.
02:24:01.000 And people require that you speak of this thing in the way they speak of this thing.
02:24:06.000 Right. 0.98
02:24:06.000 And if you don't, they are fucking ready to duke. 0.98
02:24:08.000 They're ready to duke it out. 0.99
02:24:09.000 I'm with you.
02:24:11.000 Because the differentiation is the pro...
02:24:15.000 Choice or pro-life.
02:24:16.000 Pro-choice people are saying it's not a life.
02:24:18.000 Right.
02:24:19.000 And the other people are saying you're killing a living thing, a person...
02:24:22.000 And I'm in there where it's like, no, you are killing something, but it's not a person.
02:24:28.000 Not yet.
02:24:29.000 So I agree with both. 0.99
02:24:31.000 But fundamentally, I agree with what you just said, which is, it's really none of my fucking business. 0.98
02:24:37.000 It's not my body. 0.99
02:24:39.000 And no woman can tell me whether to get a vasectomy or not, or a prostate exam, or whatever the fuck it is. 0.99
02:24:44.000 They just passed a law in, I don't know, Arkansas or somewhere, that husbands need to be informed before a woman can have an abortion, and a husband can stop it, even if she's been raped. 0.99
02:24:55.000 That's medieval.
02:24:56.000 Ooh.
02:24:57.000 That's ownership of another person.
02:24:59.000 Yeah, a husband or a wife being able to tell the other one what they can or can't do with a medical procedure that's illegal, that definitely becomes an ownership issue.
02:25:08.000 Like, if your wife told you you couldn't get a vasectomy, I will not allow it.
02:25:12.000 You're like, what?
02:25:13.000 I will not allow you to eat meat either. 1.00
02:25:15.000 I will not allow you to have ice cream, you fat fuck. 1.00
02:25:18.000 All of a sudden, she decides what you're going to eat. 1.00
02:25:21.000 I will not allow you to keep that haircut, Chris Ryan.
02:25:23.000 People talk that way all the time. 0.97
02:25:24.000 Yeah, they're crazy.
02:25:25.000 Like, oh, I would never let my husband blah, blah, blah. 0.64
02:25:27.000 What?
02:25:28.000 Jesus. 1.00
02:25:28.000 Your husband's a pussy. 1.00
02:25:33.000 Yeah, well, and your wife is, you know, under threat or, you know, under ownership if she allows the same sort of a situation. 1.00
02:25:41.000 Like a guy makes her do things.
02:25:43.000 Yeah.
02:25:43.000 I've known people that their husbands have made them get plastic surgery.
02:25:48.000 Ah, Jesus.
02:25:49.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:25:50.000 Talk them into it, you know.
02:25:51.000 I want you to do this for me.
02:25:53.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:25:53.000 Get the big tits. 1.00
02:25:54.000 Yeah, get the lips. 1.00
02:25:55.000 I want those lips.
02:25:56.000 Oh, the lips.
02:25:57.000 Oh, man.
02:25:58.000 I want you to do something about your nose.
02:25:59.000 I don't like your nose.
02:25:59.000 It's bogging me.
02:26:00.000 You could be prettier, baby.
02:26:01.000 I'd show you off.
02:26:03.000 Weird.
02:26:03.000 Show you off, you fix your nose.
02:26:04.000 And then there are those people who like fatties, you know?
02:26:08.000 They feed the other person. 0.51
02:26:10.000 It's part of their eroticism to feed you as much as possible so you'll get as fat, because I love getting...
02:26:15.000 Yeah, that's not cool.
02:26:17.000 Very strange. 0.99
02:26:18.000 People are fucking weird, man. 1.00
02:26:20.000 You know, I don't think hunter-gatherers are kinky. 1.00
02:26:23.000 No?
02:26:24.000 No.
02:26:24.000 This is the thing.
02:26:25.000 I think kink is a response to a fucked up environment. 0.99
02:26:31.000 So I think... 0.99
02:26:33.000 Repression.
02:26:33.000 Yeah.
02:26:34.000 It's this weird pressure.
02:26:36.000 It's conflict between the impulse and what's allowed, so it comes out in this weird, distorted way.
02:26:41.000 I think that makes total sense.
02:26:43.000 So, yeah, hunter-gatherers, there's not, as far as I know, there's no evidence of kink.
02:26:48.000 It's hard to get latex, let's face it, in the jungle, although that's where it comes from originally.
02:26:53.000 Have you ever met Wade Davis, by the way?
02:26:55.000 No.
02:26:56.000 You should meet that guy.
02:26:57.000 He's fascinating.
02:26:59.000 I just had him on my podcast.
02:27:00.000 He's an ethnobotanist.
02:27:02.000 Does he live around here?
02:27:03.000 He lives in Vancouver.
02:27:05.000 But he's an author.
02:27:06.000 I'm sure he comes to L.A. regularly.
02:27:08.000 But he's the guy.
02:27:10.000 Actually, we were talking about 5MEO DMT. He and Andrew Weil isolated that for the first time.
02:27:15.000 Whoa.
02:27:17.000 As white people, anyway.
02:27:19.000 Whoa.
02:27:19.000 He studied at Harvard, then he went to the Amazon for a long time.
02:27:23.000 He lived with a lot of tribes there, very interested in hallucinogens.
02:27:28.000 He's written a bunch of books.
02:27:29.000 His first book was about voodoo, something about the horsemen of the apocalypse or something like that.
02:27:36.000 He wrote a book called One River.
02:27:38.000 He's written seven or eight books.
02:27:39.000 He's a National Geographic explorer in residence.
02:27:42.000 He's this super badass dude.
02:27:44.000 I told one of his stories on your podcast a long time ago about this Eskimo dude.
02:27:49.000 Old guy in the family said, Grandpa, you know, we got to take away the keys to the snow machine because you can't see so well. 1.00
02:27:57.000 And he's like, fuck you guys. 1.00
02:27:58.000 And that night he went out. 1.00
02:28:00.000 It was winter in the Arctic somewhere. 1.00
02:28:01.000 He took a shit and he fashioned a blade from his shit. 1.00
02:28:05.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
02:28:06.000 Carved himself out of the snow.
02:28:07.000 Well, he killed the dogs and he made a harness out of the one dog's skin and a little sled out of the dog's ribs. 0.98
02:28:15.000 And then he tied in three or four other dogs and then he fucking took off across the tundra. 0.97
02:28:22.000 Anyway, that's a Wade Davis story. 1.00
02:28:23.000 He's like, he's insane. 1.00
02:28:24.000 So he made a knife out of his own shit. 1.00
02:28:26.000 He folded his knife, folded it. 1.00
02:28:28.000 He forms the blade, and then he takes some, he freezes, and then he takes some spit, and he rubs it along the edge, and apparently that's what gives it the...
02:28:38.000 Razor sharpness.
02:28:39.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:28:40.000 And then he fucking kills his dog with a shit knife. 1.00
02:28:43.000 That's right. 1.00
02:28:44.000 I remember that.
02:28:44.000 There's another story.
02:28:45.000 There he is, Wade Davis.
02:28:46.000 How I bought zombie poison in America inside the eclectic world of award-winning writer Wade Davis, former National Geographic explorer in residence, ethnobotanist, and park ranger.
02:28:56.000 He's a super cool guy.
02:28:57.000 Jesus Christ.
02:28:58.000 What a life that guy's lived.
02:29:00.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.94
02:29:01.000 He's, again, that's a guy, like, I want to fucking meet these guys, you know? 0.91
02:29:05.000 Oh, yeah. 0.97
02:29:06.000 100%.
02:29:06.000 Yeah, so he's cool.
02:29:07.000 He's up in Vancouver.
02:29:09.000 Well, listen, man, unfortunately, I got a boogie.
02:29:11.000 Yeah, we've been at this a long time.
02:29:12.000 We can do this all the time, though, man.
02:29:13.000 You're back in the States.
02:29:15.000 I'm back.
02:29:16.000 I am.
02:29:16.000 I got nothing to sell.
02:29:18.000 I got nothing to promote.
02:29:19.000 It doesn't matter, man. 0.83
02:29:20.000 The lazy hippie lifestyle.
02:29:22.000 Promote your podcast, Tangentially Speaking.
02:29:24.000 It's a hilarious, awesome podcast.
02:29:26.000 And you do it fairly recently.
02:29:28.000 Every week.
02:29:28.000 Or fairly often.
02:29:29.000 Every week.
02:29:29.000 Every week.
02:29:30.000 Okay, cool.
02:29:30.000 That's awesome.
02:29:31.000 And let's do this more often, dude.
02:29:32.000 You're around.
02:29:33.000 I'm here. 1.00
02:29:33.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00
02:29:34.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:29:34.000 And it's that Chris Ryan now. 1.00
02:29:36.000 It used to be Chris Ryan PhD on Twitter, but Duncan Trussell fucking ruined all that. 0.51
02:29:42.000 Him and Brendan Walsh. 1.00
02:29:43.000 They stole my PhD, those fuckers. 1.00
02:29:45.000 They put PhD next to their name, and now PhD doesn't mean anything anymore. 1.00
02:29:49.000 So it's that Chris Ryan.
02:29:51.000 Thanks, brother.
02:29:52.000 It was awesome, man.
02:29:52.000 Yeah, you too.
02:29:53.000 See you guys.
02:29:54.000 Bye!