The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #960 - Steve-O

00:00:07.000 I'm here with confirmed cosmonaut Steve-O, a man who's been to space, a man who knows about the atmosphere.

00:00:16.000 I can't say I've been to space.

00:00:18.000 I went up in a Russian MiG fighter jet to the edge of the Earth's atmosphere.

00:00:23.000 How high was that?

00:00:24.000 Do you know? 1.00

00:00:24.000 Oh, I fucking forget shit. 1.00

00:00:26.000 I fucking forget. 1.00

00:00:27.000 But it wasn't that much higher than... 0.97

00:00:29.000 So a normal flight is like what?

00:00:31.000 30,000 feet.

00:00:32.000 30,000 feet.

00:00:34.000 I've heard they go higher, right?

00:00:36.000 They can go up to like 35,000 for a commercial flight?

00:00:39.000 I want to say that it might have been like not much more than 50,000, but I can't back that up.

00:00:45.000 I don't remember.

00:00:46.000 It was shockingly less than you would imagine.

00:00:48.000 Oh, that's you.

00:00:49.000 Yeah, there I am.

00:00:50.000 You made a video of it?

00:00:51.000 Uh-huh.

00:00:52.000 Yeah, it was for Wild Boys. 1.00

00:00:54.000 Oh, no shit. 1.00

00:00:55.000 Oh, my God! 1.00

00:00:55.000 Look, it's going straight up! 1.00

00:00:57.000 Oh, my God! 1.00

00:00:58.000 They used a lot of stock footage, but at the same time, on the way down, this motherfucker did twirls and fuck. 1.00

00:01:07.000 It was like the gnarliest rollercoaster ride ever. 1.00

00:01:12.000 And this is me filming myself.

00:01:16.000 Like, look at that, dude!

00:01:17.000 Oh my god! 0.99

00:01:18.000 It's fucking night up there! 0.99

00:01:20.000 Wow, that's incredible! 1.00

00:01:21.000 That shows, for anybody who wants to say, that the fucking world is flat. 1.00

00:01:25.000 That's fucking proof, motherfuckers! 1.00

00:01:28.000 Well, you can see the curvature of the earth. 1.00

00:01:30.000 Wow, that's nuts.

00:01:31.000 And so when you were doing this, did you get close to blacking out?

00:01:35.000 Like, how was the G-force?

00:01:37.000 I didn't get close to black now or anything like that, and I thought that it would be one thing. 1.00

00:01:44.000 What it was was I was just fucking claustrophobic, man. 0.96

00:01:47.000 I was cramped in a tiny little... 0.97

00:01:49.000 I get claustrophobic, dude.

00:01:50.000 I didn't like that.

00:01:51.000 Did they tell you how many g-forces you were doing?

00:01:55.000 Ah, that's another thing I can't remember. 0.91

00:01:57.000 But I feel like there was more G shit going on when we did the zero gravity plane. 0.97

00:02:03.000 Oh, okay. 0.98

00:02:04.000 Which, you know, it just kind of goes along and then it does a big bell curve kind of deal, so you become weightless.

00:02:11.000 Right.

00:02:12.000 And that one, you could feel yourself really being pulled down with the Gs or whatever.

00:02:18.000 I did a flight with the F-A-18 with the Blue Angels once.

00:02:23.000 They took me up and they take you out.

00:02:26.000 You go down to San Diego and then you travel east, like through the desert.

00:02:30.000 It's weird.

00:02:31.000 I don't know which Air Force base is out there.

00:02:33.000 It's like real close to, I guess close to Arizona or maybe even in Arizona.

00:02:37.000 But we got to seven and a half G's. 0.89

00:02:40.000 We were doing these crazy things where you go like through these mountain ranges and you're only like 100, maybe 200 feet off the ground, really low to the ground, like turning and twisting and fucking bananas. 0.98

00:02:54.000 Dude. 0.96

00:02:54.000 Yeah, dude. 0.96

00:02:56.000 So they took you up in Wild Boys?

00:02:57.000 What year was this?

00:02:59.000 It was okay, we were cool with the Russians then.

00:03:01.000 Right, that was 2005. Yeah, 2005. That was our last ever Wild Boys trip.

00:03:07.000 Oh yeah?

00:03:08.000 Yeah.

00:03:08.000 And we brought Knoxville with us.

00:03:12.000 We had some Russian army kind of dudes and Knoxville was like, shoot me with the 9mm gun with the rubber bullet while the dog bites me. 0.93

00:03:23.000 What? 0.98

00:03:25.000 Yeah, he was going for it.

00:03:27.000 And our director, Jeff Tremaine, was like, hey, if you still have this in you, why don't we not do it for TV? Let's make another movie.

00:03:35.000 And that was why we stopped doing Wild Boys and made Jackass No.

00:03:39.000 2. If you still have this in you.

00:03:41.000 You still want to get it beaten out with rubber bullets. 0.99

00:03:44.000 We do. 1.00

00:03:44.000 A lot of shit happened on that last Wild Boys trip, man. 1.00

00:03:48.000 We had this practice of like... 0.99

00:03:52.000 For the censors, you know, it's called standards and practices.

00:03:55.000 They'll be like, you know, they'll give back notes like, you can't, you know, show this. 0.98

00:04:00.000 And so we would film what we call red herrings, like just blatantly ridiculous shit that's never going to be allowed on TV. But then we'll be like, okay, we'll cut this out. 0.98

00:04:09.000 And so then we'll be able to keep some other shit. 0.99

00:04:11.000 Right. 0.99

00:04:11.000 So we would always go out of our way to film this fucked up stuff. 0.99

00:04:14.000 And in Russia, we... 0.99

00:04:17.000 Me and one of the guys from the crew put on these animal suits.

00:04:23.000 What was it at the time?

00:04:24.000 It wasn't panda bears. 0.99

00:04:25.000 It was polar bears with a big fucking mascot head. 1.00

00:04:29.000 We fucking hired two hookers and had full-on fucking hookers came in like... 1.00

00:04:37.000 Full porno. 1.00

00:04:38.000 We felt full fucking porno. 0.99

00:04:40.000 And we included that in the episode. 0.98

00:04:44.000 And the notes came back from standards and practices like, please, you have to take out the...

00:04:50.000 Cock sucking? 1.00

00:04:51.000 Yeah, the polar bear getting his dick sucked. 1.00

00:04:54.000 The whole thing. 1.00

00:04:55.000 And...

00:04:57.000 Yeah, and there was a little bit of hooker action in that one. 1.00

00:05:01.000 I'm not necessarily that stoked about it, but we went to a whorehouse, brought this hooker back to the hotel. 1.00

00:05:12.000 I don't think I ever could even have sex with a hooker. 1.00

00:05:19.000 Without snuggling after. 0.99

00:05:21.000 I want to snuggle.

00:05:24.000 Just stay with me.

00:05:25.000 I want to cuddle and stuff. 0.99

00:05:27.000 And in the morning, this hooker tells me how much I owe her. 1.00

00:05:33.000 And I'm like, that's fucking outrageous. 0.99

00:05:35.000 There's no fucking way. 1.00

00:05:37.000 I don't care if your fucking pimp wants to kick my ass and fucking kill me. 1.00

00:05:42.000 I'm not paying that fucking much. 1.00

00:05:44.000 It was that much? 0.97

00:05:45.000 How much was it?

00:05:45.000 I forget.

00:05:46.000 It was so long ago.

00:05:48.000 But...

00:05:49.000 But yeah, I was outraged.

00:05:50.000 So it wasn't negotiated beforehand?

00:05:52.000 It just wasn't in that case.

00:05:55.000 I remember clearly, I was like, you want that much?

00:05:58.000 And I said, I'll give you this much, and that's how much you get.

00:06:01.000 Period.

00:06:02.000 And we came out, right, like, you know, I gotta go film.

00:06:07.000 And walking through the lobby, Knoxville is down there, having breakfast. 0.92

00:06:13.000 This hooker comes walking by Knoxville, and she says, that's not Steve-O, that's Cheapo! 1.00

00:06:24.000 I was never even that much into like hookers, but looking back on it, I guess I really fucking kind of had sex with a bunch of hookers because I had this girlfriend. 0.99

00:06:42.000 I work a program of recovery. 0.99

00:06:45.000 I gotta be honest and shit. 1.00

00:06:46.000 I had this girlfriend, she was an English chick, and she says, have you ever had sex with a prostitute? 1.00

00:06:53.000 I'm like, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:06:55.000 I never did until I was in England one time. 0.99

00:07:03.000 We did this gumball rally where you race cars with all the rich guys.

00:07:08.000 They're getting hookers and they got me one. 1.00

00:07:11.000 I told her the whole story about how... 0.99

00:07:14.000 I was like, can you give me a massage?

00:07:16.000 And she's giving me a back rub. 0.99

00:07:18.000 And this hooker says, this is one expensive back rub. 1.00

00:07:21.000 And I felt like she was making fun of me. 1.00

00:07:23.000 And I said, ah, fuck it. 1.00

00:07:24.000 And I put on some Motley Crue and put on a rubber and I humped her. 1.00

00:07:27.000 I told this story to my girlfriend.

00:07:29.000 She says, I said, okay.

00:07:31.000 Did you...

00:07:32.000 Was there any other ones? 1.00

00:07:33.000 And I'm like, ah, fuck. 1.00

00:07:34.000 I'm like, well... 1.00

00:07:35.000 In New Zealand, there was a massage parlor and it turned out that they just have sex with you. 0.99

00:07:43.000 It's a joke. 1.00

00:07:47.000 I felt like I was having sex with a prostitute, but she was a masseuse. 1.00

00:07:52.000 She said, there's another one. 0.99

00:07:54.000 I'm like, well, there's a time in Indonesia.

00:07:56.000 Oh no.

00:07:57.000 So it just kept rolling off?

00:07:58.000 Yeah.

00:07:59.000 And the thing was, at that exact time, she arranged this trip to go to Cornwall.

00:08:06.000 It's this little surf town in England.

00:08:08.000 Because I collect pictures of different countries.

00:08:13.000 And I call it my surf passport.

00:08:15.000 And I'm like, I want to get a surfing photo so I can include England.

00:08:19.000 She says, I don't know why you're making a surf passport. 1.00

00:08:22.000 You should have a fucking hooker passport. 1.00

00:08:27.000 It's so funny, too. 1.00

00:08:28.000 Driving over here, I was thinking, man, I'm so nervous about going on Joe Rogan's podcast because how can I touch the last time?

00:08:39.000 It was so epic.

00:08:40.000 There's never been another interview that I've ever done that I've gotten more feedback. 0.97

00:08:46.000 People just being like, dude, I fucking heard that.

00:08:49.000 People are inspired, people who are struggling with substance abuse, and they're like, man, that helped me get sober. 0.98

00:08:58.000 Howard Stern like you name it any interview I've ever done in my life like it has This has been the one that I hear about the most and I get the most positive feedback Fucking grateful to you for that man.

00:09:10.000 Well, I'm grateful for you coming on. 0.67

00:09:12.000 You can't compare yourself to yourself though.

00:09:13.000 Don't ever do that. 1.00

00:09:14.000 Hey, I get that fuck you over. 1.00

00:09:16.000 It'll get you every time I get that. 1.00

00:09:18.000 I know.

00:09:19.000 I saw that on Jim Jeffries.

00:09:22.000 Jim Jeffries does.

00:09:23.000 I think he even did that on his special.

00:09:25.000 He's like, oh, this special isn't as good as my last special.

00:09:28.000 He said that on this special.

00:09:29.000 Oh, you can't do that.

00:09:31.000 Right.

00:09:31.000 But that's the thing.

00:09:32.000 I'm not going to do that too much.

00:09:34.000 Got to be in the moment.

00:09:35.000 Right.

00:09:36.000 In the moment, Steve-O. Thank you for that, Jim.

00:09:38.000 You're an in-the-moment guy. 0.98

00:09:39.000 I'm pretty good about that, but I should say I'm not going to get in my head and I'm not going to trip myself out, but I did want to come in hot, so I just fucking came out with the hooker stories. 0.98

00:09:49.000 That's a good move. 0.94

00:09:51.000 You're going from edge of space to Earth isn't flat.

00:09:55.000 Oh, dude.

00:09:56.000 And Chris Pawnee is my Wild Boys co-star guy.

00:09:59.000 I remember at one point saying something to the effect of, like, I'm an astronaut. 0.98

00:10:06.000 And Pawnee has fucking nailed me so hard. 0.99

00:10:09.000 It was so fucking funny. 1.00

00:10:10.000 He says, you're not not a virgin because you go to the edge of the girl's vagina. 1.00

00:10:21.000 Good point. 1.00

00:10:22.000 Right.

00:10:23.000 You kind of have to cross the goal line.

00:10:26.000 What was more dangerous, doing Jackass or doing Wild Boys?

00:10:29.000 Ah, dude, it had to be Wild Boys a thousand times over, man. 0.81

00:10:32.000 Because I watch Jackass and I go, wow, these guys are so crazy. 1.00

00:10:35.000 But I watch Wild Boys and literally my asshole just tightens up. 1.00

00:10:39.000 My toes curl. 1.00

00:10:40.000 I start clenching my hands together.

00:10:42.000 I can't do it. 1.00

00:10:43.000 I don't know how the fuck you guys did it and got away with it. 1.00

00:10:46.000 Right, there's no question, man. 1.00

00:10:48.000 Like fucking lions, tigers, bears, venomous reptiles. 1.00

00:10:52.000 Yeah, when that lion climbed a tree and bit your fucking hat. 1.00

00:10:55.000 Here's the thing, right? 0.99

00:10:57.000 And here's the thing, and there is a distinction about this. 0.98

00:11:02.000 Jackass would completely fade. 0.99

00:11:04.000 There's so much integrity in jackass. 1.00

00:11:06.000 Knoxville would not ever... 0.98

00:11:08.000 People say, is this stuff you do real? 1.00

00:11:09.000 Fuck yeah, it's real, 100%. 1.00

00:11:11.000 And with Wild Boys, there is no... 1.00

00:11:14.000 I mean, what you see is it happened.

00:11:17.000 But what we were dishonest about with Wild Boys is, like, locations. 0.99

00:11:21.000 We would pretend that we were in Africa when really they had this fucking... 1.00

00:11:27.000 In California, there's a company called, like, Hollywood Animals, right? 0.99

00:11:31.000 Where they've got, like, you know, whatever. 1.00

00:11:34.000 They've got the fucking lions and the tigers and shit. 0.99

00:11:37.000 Now, when we went over to Africa the first time, we brought the zebra suit. 1.00

00:11:41.000 Every intention of being on safari, playing around in front of lions.

00:11:44.000 But that just wasn't in the cards.

00:11:46.000 They were like, no, that's not going to happen. 0.98

00:11:47.000 Oh my god, they'd kill you.

00:11:49.000 Yeah, we filmed this great whole thing going through the safari in the two-man zebra suit.

00:11:53.000 But the only way we could get the end was to come back to California. 0.93

00:11:57.000 And I remember Jay Leno fucking called us out. 0.95

00:12:00.000 The first time we went on the Jay Leno show to promote Wild Boys, he says, you know, I watched... 0.99

00:12:05.000 He came to the dressing room and he says, I watched that lion clip with the two-man zebra suit.

00:12:11.000 And I'm thinking, hmm...

00:12:13.000 You know, I've never seen gravel like that in Africa, on the ground.

00:12:17.000 And he says, the way that the lion went for the zebra head, he said, no part of that...

00:12:25.000 No part of that lion wants that fake zebra head. 1.00

00:12:30.000 It just doesn't make sense.

00:12:32.000 And he was so right.

00:12:34.000 He nailed it 100%. 0.99

00:12:35.000 He's like, I'm guessing what they did was they rubbed some kind of shit on the zebra head to attract the lion to it. 0.99

00:12:42.000 And he just broke it down. 1.00

00:12:44.000 The last thing I want to do is be a fucking fan of Jay Leno. 0.99

00:12:48.000 Jay Leno's a good guy. 0.99

00:12:49.000 Okay.

00:12:51.000 Okay.

00:12:53.000 He is, I'm telling you, man.

00:12:54.000 He just seems weird because he did The Tonight Show for so long.

00:12:58.000 Okay.

00:12:59.000 And I'm not trying to just piggyback on Howard Stern being a Stern fan, but I don't know.

00:13:03.000 I got a weird vibe myself from Jay Leno, but I'll take a word for it. 0.84

00:13:08.000 And he impressed the shit out of me with that, calling out that lying bit.

00:13:11.000 What weird vibe did you get from him? 0.86

00:13:13.000 I don't know.

00:13:14.000 Like, I just felt like for all the times that we were guests or that I was on his show, I just felt like, I don't know, is it?

00:13:29.000 Yeah, I think it's fair to say I felt like maybe a little bit Talked down to in a way.

00:13:35.000 I felt like sorta, like the impression that I got was that whoever booked us on the show wasn't him and that he was sort of like under protest.

00:13:44.000 Maybe I'm just a sincere guy.

00:13:46.000 Well, he was sort of under protest for almost everything that was on the show.

00:13:50.000 I mean, it was really a mess.

00:13:51.000 Look, Jay Leno started out as one of the top stand-up comics in the world. 1.00

00:13:56.000 He was a fucking killer. 0.99

00:13:57.000 He was a young guy who would go on Letterman and he was edgy. 1.00

00:14:01.000 And this is like, you know, 1970s or early 1980s, whatever.

00:14:04.000 And then he got to Tonight Show.

00:14:06.000 And when he got to Tonight Show, he became a Tonight Show host.

00:14:10.000 And he never put out, still to this day, he doesn't put out any stand-up.

00:14:15.000 You can't see it anywhere.

00:14:16.000 Other than the Tonight Show monologues.

00:14:18.000 Yeah, but he does it every week.

00:14:18.000 He does it every week, but he does the same act.

00:14:20.000 Ah, shit. 1.00

00:14:21.000 Yeah, he doesn't change his shit. 1.00

00:14:23.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:14:23.000 It's real weird. 1.00

00:14:24.000 He's a weird guy.

00:14:25.000 But what his real...

00:14:27.000 I mean, he's still a great comic, but his real passion is cars.

00:14:30.000 Like, if you're a car guy, and you go over to his place, you get to see the real Jay Leno.

00:14:35.000 You're like, oh, you should have been doing...

00:14:37.000 Like, I did his show...

00:14:39.000 Jay Leno's garage.

00:14:40.000 I was like, you should have been doing this the whole time. 0.99

00:14:42.000 Why did you even fuck with The Tonight Show? 1.00

00:14:44.000 You're a fucking monster when it comes to cars. 1.00

00:14:46.000 He's fun. 1.00

00:14:47.000 He's loose.

00:14:48.000 He knows everything about cars.

00:14:50.000 You get to see the real him.

00:14:51.000 He lights up.

00:14:52.000 I remember we were promoting Jackass 3D on The Tonight Show.

00:14:56.000 Went over there and we did the t-ball thing, right?

00:14:58.000 Like where it's like a t-ball, but it's got an arm and you hit it and then it swings and it hits me in the nuts.

00:15:03.000 And we did it.

00:15:05.000 I think it was like during rehearsal or something.

00:15:07.000 We did it like during rehearsal.

00:15:08.000 Fully hit me in the nuts during rehearsal.

00:15:10.000 And I wanted to demonstrate that I wasn't wearing a cup.

00:15:13.000 Right.

00:15:13.000 And I had these tighty-whities on.

00:15:15.000 And I fucking pulled down my tighty-whities to show it was just my dick. 1.00

00:15:19.000 Right. 1.00

00:15:20.000 Which I didn't really need to do. 1.00

00:15:21.000 You showed Jay Leno your dick? 1.00

00:15:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:15:24.000 That's part of the problem.

00:15:25.000 He's so old school.

00:15:26.000 Right.

00:15:26.000 And that's part of the problem.

00:15:29.000 I see it clearly now. 0.99

00:15:31.000 And he said, he goes, it looks like a dick, just a lot smaller. 0.99

00:15:38.000 Right, but that was just part of, I don't know, that was just part of where I got that vibe from him. 0.98

00:15:44.000 But the last thing...

00:15:46.000 I know what you mean.

00:15:47.000 I know what you mean.

00:15:48.000 And then there was all that dispute with him and Howard Stern.

00:15:50.000 Sure.

00:15:50.000 Because, like, what was it going on?

00:15:52.000 Like, writers were taking bits from Stern and doing it on...

00:15:55.000 Right.

00:15:55.000 I can't even remember.

00:15:57.000 Does Howard so...

00:15:58.000 Yeah, Howard always hated him.

00:16:00.000 But Howard hated Johnny Carson, too.

00:16:03.000 Right.

00:16:03.000 You know what, man?

00:16:04.000 That's one of those things where a lot of those guys, you know, especially like if you have a platform like Howard and you feel dissed by some guy who's got another platform, like, well, fuck this guy, time to go to war. 0.98

00:16:13.000 Because Howard's whole thing was about conflict. 0.96

00:16:16.000 Conflict, his ratings, he was the king of ratings.

00:16:19.000 Right.

00:16:19.000 With Jay Leno and Howard, it was personal.

00:16:21.000 With Howard and Carson, I think he was just, Howard had the impression that Carson was a bad dude.

00:16:26.000 I don't know.

00:16:27.000 I think he had a personal thing with him, too.

00:16:29.000 Maybe I'm just making that up.

00:16:30.000 I don't know.

00:16:31.000 But I'm telling you, man, I knew Jay from The Tonight Show.

00:16:34.000 I knew Jay from when I was on NBC. I've seen him on here with you, too.

00:16:37.000 Dude, he was great on here.

00:16:38.000 The stories about doing stand-up for the mob shows, and seeing some psychopath mob guy yell at a priest. 0.99

00:16:45.000 They were great fucking stories. 0.99

00:16:47.000 Well, hey, dude. 0.99

00:16:48.000 I fucking recant anything negative I said about Jayla. 0.97

00:16:53.000 Plus, I should say I'm fucking grateful to Jay Leno because he had me on the show. 0.98

00:16:58.000 I was never on Letterman. 0.91

00:17:01.000 Because that was the thing with those dudes.

00:17:03.000 If you did one, you couldn't do the other.

00:17:06.000 Unless you're someone who's a humongous star. 0.98

00:17:10.000 Yeah, those shows suck. 1.00

00:17:12.000 They really do. 0.99

00:17:13.000 No disrespect to them, but those five-minute things where you sit on the couch and you cut to the next thing, it's just a shitty way to get to know somebody. 0.83

00:17:23.000 And it's gone downhill from there because all anybody gives a fuck about is what's gonna take off on the internet the next day. 0.74

00:17:30.000 Exactly. 0.99

00:17:31.000 And so they're not even focused on anything except some fucking gimmick that's gonna... 0.99

00:17:37.000 Some highlight reel clip. 0.99

00:17:38.000 Right.

00:17:39.000 Yeah, did you see the Colbert thing where he went off on Trump? 0.99

00:17:42.000 I couldn't fucking believe it. 0.99

00:17:44.000 I was watching and I was like, and I tweeted about this, that I don't think kids today have any idea how strange it is to watch a talk show host call the president's mouth a cock holster. 0.99

00:17:57.000 Okay. 0.92

00:17:57.000 It's just like, what? 0.92

00:17:59.000 He's talking about the president.

00:18:01.000 I mean, I know it's Donald Trump, but it's still the president.

00:18:04.000 It's so weird.

00:18:06.000 There's a lot of weird stuff going on.

00:18:07.000 And then did you see Colbert responding to Trump's response?

00:18:13.000 That made me uncomfortable.

00:18:15.000 Why?

00:18:16.000 I'm sure people don't want to even hear about this.

00:18:18.000 No, please do.

00:18:18.000 It made me uncomfortable where he's like, hmm, I won.

00:18:22.000 Right.

00:18:23.000 I mean, again, it's just playing into, you know, what can I... I don't know.

00:18:28.000 Well, they're playing on...

00:18:29.000 What he said was he got Trump to respond.

00:18:31.000 He was trying to get the president to say his name for so long, and he finally did, and it was...

00:18:37.000 Right. 0.91

00:18:37.000 Well, what he said was that I thought, of all the things that I thought you were dumb about, the one thing that I thought you knew about was show business. 0.91

00:18:44.000 I thought you understood show business. 0.97

00:18:46.000 Right.

00:18:46.000 So, like, I was trying to get you to respond, and you did, so I win.

00:18:50.000 Right.

00:18:51.000 Which is just... 1.00

00:18:52.000 Okay, so now the president, and this is even weird, weirder, because now the president is responding to a guy who's essentially saying that he's a fucking troll. 0.94

00:19:01.000 I mean, Stephen Colbert, multi-millionaire, talk show host on a major network, took over the Letterman spot, is now admitting that he's essentially like a guy on Twitter that has... 0.99

00:19:13.000 A fucking egg icon. 0.98

00:19:15.000 I think that that might have been what made me feel uncomfortable. 1.00

00:19:19.000 Yeah.

00:19:19.000 Well, it's just low level.

00:19:20.000 Super low level.

00:19:22.000 The whole thing was low level.

00:19:23.000 And it wasn't...

00:19:26.000 All the stuff that Trump was saying about how they were going to take him off and they were going to...

00:19:30.000 The guy Corden who came after, they were going to put James Corden into Colbert's time slot. 0.75

00:19:35.000 I mean, all the reports I saw were that they were trying to get Colbert the fuck out and then all of a sudden he started slamming Trump and now he's like number one out of everybody in late night. 1.00

00:19:44.000 Well, that's how it goes in that stupid fucking business. 1.00

00:19:47.000 They just have to get people to pay attention to them, and sometimes that's the way to do it. 1.00

00:19:51.000 I mean, maybe Colbert just got desperado, but the whole thing is so fucking strange. 0.78

00:19:57.000 Like, Colbert's strange, man. 0.97

00:19:58.000 He's like a hardcore Catholic.

00:20:00.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:20:01.000 Hardcore, which is even weirder that he's calling the president's mouth a cock holster if he's a hardcore Catholic. 0.99

00:20:06.000 It's like, where do your standards lie? 0.99

00:20:09.000 Like, where do you draw that line?

00:20:12.000 Because that's not very Catholic of you.

00:20:14.000 It's like the guy from Megadeth, the lead singer of Megadeth, became like a super hardcore Christian. 0.76

00:20:21.000 Really?

00:20:21.000 And now won't sing some of his songs.

00:20:23.000 Get the fuck out of here! 1.00

00:20:25.000 No! 1.00

00:20:26.000 No way!

00:20:27.000 I swear!

00:20:28.000 And he won't perform with some certain death metal bands.

00:20:35.000 Oh my god!

00:20:36.000 Come on! 0.61

00:20:37.000 Yeah!

00:20:38.000 Oh god!

00:20:39.000 It's fantastic!

00:20:41.000 Man, there's something happens.

00:20:42.000 I don't know if you notice this, but something happens that I've been noticing as, you know, I'm almost 50. I'll be 50 in August.

00:20:47.000 Dude, bless your heart.

00:20:48.000 Bless your heart.

00:20:49.000 I'll be 43 next month.

00:20:51.000 Dude, it just creeps up on you.

00:20:53.000 Dude, time moves faster as it goes by.

00:20:55.000 Well, you know what it is?

00:20:56.000 It's like your reference to time is different because when you're six, a year is a sixth of your life.

00:21:02.000 Okay.

00:21:03.000 When you're 49, it's like another year.

00:21:06.000 It's like... 0.99

00:21:06.000 Also, you're busy as fuck, so the days keep moving quick. 0.99

00:21:11.000 A reference of time. 1.00

00:21:12.000 I think it also fucking goes by faster. 0.96

00:21:15.000 It seems like it goes by faster. 0.99

00:21:16.000 Right.

00:21:17.000 You have more of them to think about.

00:21:19.000 I had a bit that I was working on for the long time.

00:21:22.000 I don't know if I'm gonna resurrect it, but the premise is that God must hate us.

00:21:28.000 That's the premise?

00:21:29.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:21:30.000 Why? 0.99

00:21:31.000 If he hates you, you'd be dead. 0.90

00:21:32.000 Well, no. 0.94

00:21:34.000 No.

00:21:34.000 You'd be suffering.

00:21:35.000 Think about it.

00:21:36.000 You live in like a Steve-O. How could God hate you?

00:21:38.000 He loves you.

00:21:39.000 Right, right. 0.99

00:21:39.000 Well, I mean, it's just fucking comedy, right? 0.99

00:21:42.000 It's gotta make sense, though, right? 0.98

00:21:44.000 Sure.

00:21:45.000 And I back it up, dude.

00:21:46.000 I back it up.

00:21:47.000 How about you do?

00:21:49.000 Okay, now...

00:21:51.000 We're the only living organism, right, that can, like, watch and have an opinion of itself wilting.

00:21:59.000 You know, right?

00:22:00.000 That's a good point. 0.99

00:22:01.000 It's a fucking really good point. 1.00

00:22:03.000 You know, a fucking banana's not looking in the mirror saying, oh, fuck, I'm bruising. 1.00

00:22:07.000 You know, this sucks. 1.00

00:22:09.000 Like, I don't look as good as I did fucking, you know, I'm going rotten. 0.99

00:22:12.000 Well, what's really weird is when you watch, do you watch videos of yourself from, like, a long time ago and you see how different you look? 0.97

00:22:18.000 Yes, but I think of a lot of people, I look pretty fucking...

00:22:23.000 I look less different. 0.87

00:22:25.000 Well, thank you.

00:22:25.000 I look less different than other people.

00:22:26.000 Now, I get super sensitive about, like, you know, if I post a picture online, it's like, motherfucker's old, you know, like, you know, I like that shit effect. 0.99

00:22:34.000 Does it? 0.99

00:22:35.000 It effects.

00:22:36.000 Like, I wish it didn't, but it does. 0.98

00:22:37.000 I'm just fucking sensitive guys. 1.00

00:22:39.000 Motherfucker's old. 1.00

00:22:40.000 But now I got to... 0.99

00:22:42.000 Now I got a project that I'm working on where I'm digging up old-ass footage. 0.94

00:22:47.000 And I'm looking at it and I'm thinking, I don't look that much fucking different. 1.00

00:22:50.000 Fuck all these people, you know? 1.00

00:22:52.000 Maybe you're delusional. 1.00

00:22:54.000 I mean, I look younger for sure, but I don't know.

00:23:01.000 Well, you've kept your body in reasonable shape.

00:23:05.000 You're in good shape.

00:23:06.000 You're healthy.

00:23:06.000 The real issue is when people balloon.

00:23:09.000 I looked at Kathleen Turner.

00:23:11.000 Do you remember Kathleen Turner?

00:23:12.000 She went to my high school in London, England.

00:23:13.000 Dude, she was so hot when she was young, and now she's got that alcoholic face, where people don't just get older, but everything sort of balloons, and your cheeks balloon, 1.00

00:23:29.000 and your chin balloons.

00:23:30.000 Sure.

00:23:32.000 It's all swelling.

00:23:33.000 It's crazy.

00:23:33.000 I went to high school all four years in London, England.

00:23:37.000 At the American School in London, England.

00:23:39.000 And there's only...

00:23:40.000 It's called the American School?

00:23:41.000 It's called the American School in London, England.

00:23:43.000 That's why I don't have an accent.

00:23:44.000 Because everyone was just American at the school. 0.93

00:23:46.000 Oh, really?

00:23:47.000 So it was actually everyone at the school was American?

00:23:50.000 Right. 0.98

00:23:50.000 In England, they have different fucking kind of high school. 0.98

00:23:53.000 It's not grades. 0.98

00:23:55.000 It's like forms.

00:23:56.000 You graduate when you're 16. It's all different curriculum.

00:23:58.000 But this is in England, in London.

00:24:00.000 And you take SATs.

00:24:02.000 You have...

00:24:02.000 So it's just like American?

00:24:04.000 It's an American school in London, yeah.

00:24:06.000 Your folks were living in England?

00:24:08.000 Folks, correct.

00:24:09.000 Yeah, I grew up in five different countries.

00:24:11.000 Did you really?

00:24:11.000 Yeah, I was born in England.

00:24:13.000 And when I was six months old, I moved to Brazil.

00:24:16.000 My family moved to Brazil. 0.97

00:24:19.000 No one would ever fucking guess this, but my dad was like a baller-ass corporate executive. 0.99

00:24:25.000 Really? 0.98

00:24:25.000 And when I was six months old, my family moved to Brazil because my dad became the president of Pepsi-Cola in all of Brazil. 0.98

00:24:34.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:24:35.000 Yeah, so they were fucking going, you know, they had shit going on. 1.00

00:24:40.000 Right. 1.00

00:24:40.000 They had live-in maids, and... 1.00

00:24:44.000 I was raised by fucking like these Brazilian servants that lived in the house. 1.00

00:24:50.000 So I spoke my first words in Portuguese. 1.00

00:24:52.000 Wow!

00:24:53.000 Because my parents didn't... 0.98

00:24:56.000 My parents just didn't fucking pay attention to me at all. 0.99

00:24:59.000 So that's what made you crazy. 0.99

00:25:00.000 Perhaps, yeah.

00:25:01.000 How do they deal with you now? 0.99

00:25:03.000 Well, my mom died in 2003, and my dad and I are fucking tight as fuck. 0.98

00:25:08.000 Everything that... 0.99

00:25:09.000 Oh, that's cool.

00:25:10.000 Yeah, everything that drove us apart brought us together.

00:25:14.000 But yeah, I spoke my first words in Portuguese in Brazil.

00:25:17.000 When I was two years old, I moved to Venezuela, and I spoke fluent Spanish in nursery school in Caracas, Venezuela. 0.99

00:25:23.000 Holy shit! 0.98

00:25:25.000 When I was four years old, I moved to Connecticut. 0.97

00:25:29.000 So by the time I was three...

00:25:33.000 I spoke three languages fluently.

00:25:35.000 By the time I was five, I forgot two of them completely.

00:25:38.000 And then when I was six years old, we moved to Miami.

00:25:40.000 When I was nine years old, moved to London, England.

00:25:43.000 When I was 12 years old, moved to Canada, lived in Toronto.

00:25:47.000 And then at 13 years old, back to England, and I stayed there all through high school.

00:25:51.000 Wow, so this is all your dad just being an executive for different companies?

00:25:55.000 Yeah, the move from Brazil to Venezuela, dad got promoted to... 0.99

00:26:01.000 Fuck, president of Pepsi-Cola in like South America, I think. 0.99

00:26:06.000 Maybe all of South America, I'm not sure. 1.00

00:26:09.000 Then, when we moved to... 0.99

00:26:12.000 To Connecticut, I want to say that's when dad became a fucking big tobacco CEO. Whoa. 0.99

00:26:18.000 Which is hilarious.

00:26:20.000 Did he smoke? 0.99

00:26:21.000 He never fucking took a puff on a cigarette in his life. 1.00

00:26:25.000 Ever. 1.00

00:26:25.000 Wow. 1.00

00:26:26.000 Just doing it as an executive.

00:26:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:26:27.000 Dude, dad sold soda, Pepsi, fucking sugar water, and then cigarettes. 1.00

00:26:34.000 And then when we were living in Miami, this was the 1980s, and all of a sudden it came to light that cigarettes were bad for you. 0.99

00:26:41.000 Right? 0.98

00:26:42.000 And all the tobacco companies started buying up food companies, you know, because they're thinking, fuck, we've got to get out of this. 0.99

00:26:49.000 Right. 0.96

00:26:50.000 And so, Dad worked for RJR, which is a tobacco company, and RJR, RJ Reynolds, what it was, RJ Reynolds.

00:26:57.000 And they bought Nabisco, and the companies merged.

00:27:00.000 It became RJR Nabisco.

00:27:04.000 And that dad had an aberrationally good year that year. 0.99

00:27:07.000 Dad ended up becoming like the president of Nabisco and shit. 0.99

00:27:10.000 Wow. 1.00

00:27:11.000 Yeah.

00:27:12.000 I forget if it was...

00:27:14.000 I don't really know what it's called.

00:27:15.000 So they didn't figure out until the 1980s that cigarettes were bad for you?

00:27:19.000 They only really...

00:27:21.000 It only became a legal issue in the 80s. 0.99

00:27:23.000 Like lawsuits and shit? 0.99

00:27:25.000 Right. 1.00

00:27:25.000 They only really got fucking scared of lawsuits in the 80s. 1.00

00:27:29.000 You know what's crazy? 0.92

00:27:29.000 I just read something about tobacco companies, that they're making more money now than ever. 0.92

00:27:34.000 That less people smoke, but they charge more for cigarettes now than they ever have before, so they're making more money. 0.98

00:27:40.000 Oh my god, in Australia, it's twenty fucking dollars a pack. 0.98

00:27:43.000 What? 1.00

00:27:43.000 Twenty fucking dollars a pack. 1.00

00:27:45.000 Twenty dollars American or twenty dollars Australian? 1.00

00:27:47.000 Well, twenty dollars Australian.

00:27:48.000 What's the exchange rate?

00:27:50.000 Full parody to the Canadian dollar.

00:27:52.000 Okay, so pretty close to our dollar.

00:27:54.000 One Australian dollar is 75 cents.

00:27:57.000 For American. 0.98

00:27:59.000 Dude, it's so fucking funny. 0.97

00:28:00.000 I was over there. 0.96

00:28:00.000 I've done a couple of Australia tours. 0.96

00:28:02.000 A few Australia tours.

00:28:03.000 And I went in there. 1.00

00:28:05.000 They got the fucking cigarettes locked up. 0.99

00:28:08.000 Like, you can't even see them. 1.00

00:28:10.000 They're in a fucking, like a gun cabinet. 0.99

00:28:12.000 You know? 0.99

00:28:13.000 You gotta ask them to unlock the gun cabinet, which you can't even see into. 0.99

00:28:18.000 It's illegal for them to even have a fucking logo. 0.99

00:28:22.000 There's no logo, there's no nothing. 0.99

00:28:25.000 Like Marlboro, they can't use the logo? 0.99

00:28:28.000 The brand name of Marlboro, every fucking cigarette, the name of the company has to be in the same fucking font. 0.99

00:28:37.000 They can't even have the Marlboro logo or font. 0.99

00:28:41.000 It's all a uniform font that says the company, and the entire fucking pack is just the most... 0.99

00:28:46.000 The whole fucking packaging is nothing but one gigantic photo of a dead baby. 1.00

00:28:52.000 The most hilarious fucking... 1.00

00:28:55.000 Like shit, and I'm telling you, and it's $20 per pack, and everybody's fucking smoking. 1.00

00:29:02.000 I think that's the craziest thing about it, is that they charge more than ever, and oh yeah, that dude, there you go. 1.00

00:29:10.000 Whoa, go full screen with that.

00:29:12.000 Jesus Christ, smoking causes blindness.

00:29:14.000 Woof! 0.98

00:29:15.000 We're going blind.

00:29:16.000 Smoking causes throat and mouth cancer.

00:29:19.000 Brand.

00:29:19.000 You see?

00:29:20.000 Brand. 1.00

00:29:21.000 And in the same fucking font. 1.00

00:29:23.000 Wow. 1.00

00:29:23.000 Oh my god. 1.00

00:29:24.000 It's so fucking hilarious, dude.

00:29:25.000 I laughed so hard. 0.88

00:29:26.000 And it doesn't work.

00:29:27.000 Dude.

00:29:28.000 And it doesn't keep people from buying it.

00:29:29.000 That's what's hilarious.

00:29:30.000 It doesn't work.

00:29:30.000 Dude, I mean, imagine that.

00:29:32.000 Imagine picking up a new packet right there. 0.98

00:29:35.000 That is so fucking bizarre. 1.00

00:29:38.000 They got dead babies. 1.00

00:29:40.000 Smoking causes emphysema.

00:29:42.000 Grab me a pack of those. 0.96

00:29:43.000 Dude, every single one of them is so fucking hilarious. 0.91

00:29:47.000 Yeah, I've never seen that. 1.00

00:29:48.000 I've seen in England they have a big picture of people that have lung cancer and shit on the cover. 1.00

00:29:55.000 And it says smoking will kill you, but they don't have this shit. 1.00

00:29:58.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:29:59.000 It causes peripheral vascular disease and makes your feet rot? 1.00

00:30:04.000 Gangrene?

00:30:04.000 The most tame picture I saw on a pack of cigarettes was a picture of a toilet with blood in the water.

00:30:14.000 And I forget what the point was on that one, but cigarettes make your asshole bleed. 1.00

00:30:20.000 Isn't it crazy that that doesn't even work? 1.00

00:30:22.000 Like, you're selling someone something that you're showing them all the terrible shit that it could do, and everybody's like, yeah, worth it. 0.97

00:30:27.000 Right. 0.99

00:30:28.000 Worth it for a puff.

00:30:29.000 I know.

00:30:29.000 I used to be convinced.

00:30:31.000 I remember Dr. Drew.

00:30:33.000 Dr. Drew used to pester me to try to get me on that celebrity rehab show before I was sober. 0.82

00:30:39.000 Right.

00:30:39.000 And he had another project, which was trying to...

00:30:42.000 It was focusing on getting people to quit smoking cigarettes.

00:30:45.000 Were you smoking at the time? 0.99

00:30:46.000 I smoked for fucking 17 years. 0.99

00:30:48.000 I started smoking when I was 16 and stopped when I was 33. Whoa. 1.00

00:30:53.000 Yeah, 17 years I fucking smoked, man. 0.99

00:30:56.000 Do you feel any ill effects of it now at 43? 0.99

00:31:00.000 Almost 43 and...

00:31:02.000 How's your cardio?

00:31:03.000 I think it's pretty good.

00:31:04.000 What fucked up my cardio was all that nitrous oxide, dude. 0.87

00:31:08.000 I fucked up my... 0.90

00:31:08.000 Dude, I went through those Whippet cartridges. 0.90

00:31:12.000 There's 24 per box, and there's 25 boxes per case.

00:31:17.000 So per case, there's 600 cartridges.

00:31:19.000 And it was not unusual for me to go through 600 in like...

00:31:23.000 24 hours.

00:31:24.000 24 to 36 hours.

00:31:25.000 What? 0.98

00:31:27.000 I took every measure to try to limit the fucking air that went into my lungs to try to make it all nitrous oxide. 1.00

00:31:38.000 The whole time I'm holding in a lung full of that shit and I'm just with my fucking canister from Starbucks and shit. 1.00

00:31:46.000 I was like a fucking wizard at loading up six into it while holding the last fucking ones. 1.00

00:31:53.000 And that was when all the crazy shit would go down, because I would be awake on cocaine for three days and inhaling nothing but nitrous oxide. 0.99

00:32:01.000 And at that point is when shit starts popping off and people are walking around my apartment who are never physically there. 1.00

00:32:11.000 So you're just seeing a bunch of shit. 1.00

00:32:12.000 Oh dude, like actual fucking people, man. 1.00

00:32:15.000 I watched a dude walk through my apartment and fucking pick up my bong and take a hit and blow out smoke and fucking then like put it down and the dude walked through the wall. 1.00

00:32:25.000 He was never fucking there. 0.99

00:32:26.000 Ever. 0.98

00:32:27.000 Whoa.

00:32:27.000 But he looked as real as I do, or Jamie does.

00:32:30.000 Yeah, dude. 0.98

00:32:31.000 I had fucking, like, tactile hallucinations. 0.99

00:32:34.000 I had fucking... 0.99

00:32:34.000 You could feel things. 0.99

00:32:35.000 Big time, dude.

00:32:36.000 Like, what kind of things?

00:32:37.000 Because here's my whole thing, and I kind of still believe this to this day, is, you know, that our little three-dimensional experience is a very small part of what's going on in the universe, right?

00:32:51.000 Right.

00:32:52.000 There's dimensions, there's, you know, all frequencies, everything.

00:32:57.000 And that if you do enough drugs, the barriers between these different compartments of the universe become eroded somehow.

00:33:06.000 I started hearing voices. 1.00

00:33:08.000 And to an extent, I fucking believe, still, that that shit was real. 1.00

00:33:13.000 These spirits that were fucking talking to me, I'm hearing the voices. 1.00

00:33:16.000 I had a conversation with a friend of mine who sells weed about a very similar thing, where I was saying that I think that something happens when you smoke pot. 0.99

00:33:26.000 It's not just that you get high, but that the way you interface with the world changes, and then the world changes because of that.

00:33:34.000 Not the world changes like the world changes for you or for him, but the world that I'm experiencing is different.

00:33:39.000 Yeah, like in the quantum physics kind of sense.

00:33:41.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:33:42.000 I'm too stupid for that. 1.00

00:33:43.000 Right, me too. 0.99

00:33:44.000 But what I'm saying is that my feeling about the world is that when you change the way your brain works, which is essentially what you do when you get really high, and you change the way you think about the world, I think the world that you experience is different.

00:33:58.000 Sure.

00:33:58.000 It's like, you know, like people think, like this is a very simplistic way of looking at it, but it's sort of parallel.

00:34:04.000 You know how some people think, oh, the world sucks, everything sucks, and their life always sucks.

00:34:09.000 And then there's people that are always super positive and super happy, and their life is always happy. 0.94

00:34:13.000 There's something about when you get really high, especially marijuana, because marijuana is a sensitivity drug.

00:34:21.000 It's almost like the opposite of a lot of drugs, because a lot of drugs make you insensitive.

00:34:26.000 Like alcohol makes you blunt, right?

00:34:29.000 You're not aware of people looking at you. 0.99

00:34:31.000 You don't give a fuck. 0.99

00:34:32.000 You're like, what? 1.00

00:34:33.000 You get drunk, you're loud, and you're crazy, and your social cues get skewed. 0.98

00:34:38.000 You don't see. 0.98

00:34:39.000 Marijuana is the opposite.

00:34:41.000 Marijuana, you get really aware of other people.

00:34:45.000 People will call it paranoid because you start thinking about all these possibilities.

00:34:50.000 That you never thought of before.

00:34:52.000 But I feel like the way you interface with the world becomes very different.

00:34:56.000 You're aware of all these different possibilities. 0.96

00:34:58.000 You start thinking about things that you fucked up when you were in high school. 0.97

00:35:02.000 Oh, dude, mushrooms are the worst for that. 0.98

00:35:04.000 Oh, yeah.

00:35:05.000 Oh, sure.

00:35:05.000 God, I made a mistake.

00:35:07.000 Make you accountable.

00:35:09.000 I get so introspective.

00:35:10.000 I mean, it's been forever since.

00:35:11.000 But is it too introspective?

00:35:13.000 I got too introspective.

00:35:14.000 How too?

00:35:16.000 Just start picking myself apart and putting myself on trial in a sense. 0.99

00:35:23.000 Just too introspective where I'm just determined that I just suck. 0.95

00:35:28.000 Maybe that's just a perspective. 0.98

00:35:30.000 Like, I think the introspective aspect of it, one of the reasons why it comes up, it feels like to me, is because there's a bunch of shit about yourself that you don't like, but you don't address. 0.63

00:35:39.000 And so then it forces you, hey, in order to truly live in the moment, you have to be balanced.

00:35:45.000 You have to be like, I've looked at it all, and I understand I've made mistakes, and here's where I'm at. 0.99

00:35:50.000 But if you've never looked at yourself, if you've never looked at those mistakes, then you have like this backlog of shit you have to deal with. 0.98

00:35:57.000 Right, and I agree with that 100%. 1.00

00:35:59.000 I agree with that, except when it becomes just a morbid fucking flogging of oneself. 0.98

00:36:05.000 Right, oh yeah, for sure. 0.98

00:36:07.000 Which is what it would come to.

00:36:09.000 But I feel like that morbid flogging of yourself comes from you, like the debt analogy is a good analogy, because if you're in like massive debt and you go to spend money, you're like, I don't even have any money, how am I spending this money?

00:36:21.000 Whereas if you're even and you go to spend the money, you're like, no big deal.

00:36:25.000 I'm just spending some money.

00:36:26.000 It's normal, right?

00:36:27.000 I think that when you don't have an accounting of who you are and what you've done, and especially I think the big one is your effect on other people.

00:36:35.000 You know, that's the one that comes up with me on mushrooms or on pot, especially on edibles.

00:36:40.000 It's like how I've interacted with other people.

00:36:42.000 And even if I thought it was justified, and maybe I was justified, when it comes up on pot, especially on edibles.

00:36:50.000 For me, at least, that's where I feel like the most accountable.

00:36:54.000 And I have to think about my behavior the most.

00:36:57.000 I always feel like, with the edible thing, it always feels like, could I have done better?

00:37:02.000 Instead of just being like, was I okay? 0.99

00:37:04.000 Like, yeah, that guy was being a dick to you. 1.00

00:37:05.000 Yeah, fuck him. 1.00

00:37:06.000 It's never that. 1.00

00:37:07.000 It's always like...

00:37:09.000 Maybe I could have caught on earlier to how he was feeling and reassessed how I was communicating with him, and instead of being defensive or aggressive, maybe I could have handled it better.

00:37:22.000 Well, hey man, sounds like you're working a great spiritual program with your edibles.

00:37:29.000 I try to do it all the time, but when I'm with edibles, like I've said this before and people go, oh no, but I think pot makes you a better person.

00:37:37.000 I really do.

00:37:38.000 Because I think all that responsibility and accountability...

00:37:41.000 I wish I could smoke pot, but my pot bone is connected to my booze bone, and my booze bone is connected to my...

00:37:47.000 You don't have to.

00:37:48.000 Honestly, no one has to do anything.

00:37:50.000 I get as much high and as much mental clarity from yoga as I do from anything.

00:37:56.000 I really do.

00:37:57.000 I mean, if someone told me I couldn't smoke pot for the rest of my life...

00:38:02.000 But I could do yoga.

00:38:03.000 Or I could just smoke pot for the rest of my life and not do yoga.

00:38:07.000 I think I would take the yoga.

00:38:08.000 Wow.

00:38:09.000 I really do.

00:38:09.000 Alright.

00:38:10.000 Because yoga gives me...

00:38:11.000 I mean, I love the feeling of pot.

00:38:13.000 I really do.

00:38:14.000 But yoga gives me a relaxation when it's over.

00:38:19.000 Like, there's a clarity that comes from things that is like...

00:38:22.000 It's friend...

00:38:23.000 Like, after, like, post-yoga class, those are like the... 0.99

00:38:26.000 That is the friendliest, nicest group of fucking people. 0.97

00:38:29.000 You want to meet some nice folks? 0.99

00:38:31.000 Stand outside of a yoga class when the yoga class is exiting. 0.99

00:38:34.000 You'll meet the most balanced, nice people because they drained all the bullshit out of themselves. 0.98

00:38:39.000 Hey, can we hit pause so I can take a leak? 0.99

00:38:42.000 Already?

00:38:43.000 No, I told you. 1.00

00:38:44.000 You're an animal. 1.00

00:38:44.000 Go. 1.00

00:38:45.000 We're not pausing, though.

00:38:48.000 He's such a good guy.

00:38:50.000 He really is.

00:38:51.000 He's such a good guy, and he's always worried that he's not a good guy, and he's always coming down on himself.

00:38:58.000 We'll talk about this a little bit.

00:39:01.000 Al Madrigal, I'll set this up so he doesn't have to, so he doesn't have to be uncomfortable.

00:39:04.000 Al Madrigal when he was here was talking about he gets mad at guys like Steve-O because Steve-O is a guy who kind of came to stand up after he did other things.

00:39:16.000 And Al's like, I don't want the thing that is like what I feel is like my chosen thing in life, the most amazing thing in life to me, to be something that someone comes to as a last resort. 0.96

00:39:26.000 But Al even thinks it's stupid that he thinks like that.

00:39:29.000 So when he said it, Steve-O was kind of bummed out, so Steve-O texted me about it, and Steve-O and I talked.

00:39:36.000 We were supposed to do a podcast anyway, so there was this question of whether or not we should talk about it when it came to the actual show itself.

00:39:45.000 But my feeling on all that stuff is that whoever does stand-up does stand-up. 0.99

00:39:50.000 It's bullshit. 0.91

00:39:51.000 I was just explaining that you're a great guy in the whole Al Magical thing without you having to be in the room and feel uncomfortable. 0.99

00:39:56.000 Ah, whatever.

00:39:57.000 But...

00:39:58.000 But I think that anybody, like that judgment thing of like, this is not a stand-up, you're not a stand-up, he's not a stand-up.

00:40:07.000 That's so insecure.

00:40:08.000 It's so crazy.

00:40:09.000 Especially when your premise is that you care so much about stand-up.

00:40:15.000 I love what you said to me at the comedy store the other night.

00:40:18.000 You said, well, I just love stand-up, so I want there to be more of it.

00:40:22.000 Yeah, I want more people doing stand-up.

00:40:24.000 I love it.

00:40:25.000 I love watching it. 1.00

00:40:26.000 I love funny shit. 0.99

00:40:27.000 Yeah, if you're doing stand-up and people are laughing, that's stand-up. 1.00

00:40:31.000 I don't care if you're a fucking surgeon. 0.99

00:40:33.000 If you're a brain surgeon and you decide to do stand-up at night, are you not a stand-up? 1.00

00:40:37.000 Once you do stand-up comedy, to me, you go on stage, you tell some jokes, people laugh, you're a fucking comic. 0.99

00:40:44.000 I don't care if it's an open mic night, you're a comic. 0.98

00:40:47.000 Sure.

00:40:47.000 You might not be a professional stand-up comedian.

00:40:50.000 Right.

00:40:50.000 But if someone says, oh, I'm a comic too.

00:40:52.000 Like, okay.

00:40:53.000 It doesn't mean you're good. 1.00

00:40:54.000 Like, you know, you could be a guy who works on cars, but you just fuck up constantly. 0.98

00:40:59.000 It doesn't make you a professional mechanic. 0.99

00:41:01.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:41:02.000 Right.

00:41:02.000 It's like, but once you, you're doing it.

00:41:04.000 We're all doing the same thing. 1.00

00:41:06.000 Yeah, you could suck one dick. 1.00

00:41:07.000 Yeah, you're a cocksucker. 1.00

00:41:08.000 You're a cocksucker. 1.00

00:41:09.000 You might not be good at it. 1.00

00:41:11.000 Let me tell you about the way that guy sucks dick. 1.00

00:41:14.000 He's terrible at it. 1.00

00:41:15.000 I got my dick sucked by a guy one time. 1.00

00:41:16.000 I was totally underwhelmed. 1.00

00:41:18.000 Yeah.

00:41:19.000 Why did that happen?

00:41:22.000 Was it on purpose?

00:41:25.000 Well, it started out like...

00:41:27.000 A joke?

00:41:28.000 No, it wasn't a joke.

00:41:30.000 A bet?

00:41:30.000 This happened in...

00:41:33.000 Tuesday?

00:41:34.000 December of 2002, and I was doing a show at the 930 Club in D.C. After the show, there was...

00:41:44.000 It's a great place. 0.99

00:41:45.000 Fucking wasted. 0.99

00:41:46.000 I was just really wasted, and I had this shady manager, and he was really wasted too, and he was talking to this person who appeared to be a hot chick, right? 0.99

00:41:55.000 Appeared to be a hot chick, and I was like, hmm, this is...

00:41:58.000 And so I kind of started talking to this person who appeared to be a hot chick and wooed the person away from the shady manager. 1.00

00:42:06.000 And I was feeling really good about it, you know?

00:42:08.000 Turns out, in hindsight, that had we not been so intoxicated, it was rather evident.

00:42:15.000 But we were really intoxicated, so we were walking away from the 930 Club.

00:42:20.000 If that was it, it was Safari or 930, one of the two.

00:42:23.000 I don't think they have Safari anymore.

00:42:24.000 But walking down the street, going to the next place, Someone pulls me aside, you know, a friend pulls me aside and says, hey, just want you to know that person you're talking to, was it like not a girl,

00:42:40.000 but it wasn't, like, they didn't see it, say, that person is a hermaphrodite, was what it was described as a hermaphrodite, meaning, you know, like both women and...

00:42:55.000 And they described that the person had had a surgical operation to remove the male parts.

00:43:02.000 So I was kind of a chick.

00:43:05.000 Right.

00:43:05.000 Right?

00:43:06.000 And I was just like, oh, whatever, I don't care, you know.

00:43:10.000 You know, I was just like, oh, whatever, you know, wound up.

00:43:13.000 I wrote about this in my book.

00:43:17.000 Like, I really had this sense, you know, I came back to the hotel and...

00:43:23.000 And the sense that I got, and this is a pretty fucking outrageous take on it, was that here was this person who was kind of, I don't know, damage is a mean word, but this person wanted to be loved,

00:43:40.000 wanted to be accepted. 0.66

00:43:41.000 There was some kind of thing, and I wanted this person to feel loved.

00:43:48.000 And that was kind of where the, I think that was part of what was going on.

00:43:53.000 I was like, hey, I'm going to play ball with this person, and we're going to snuggle all night.

00:43:57.000 Okay, right. 0.99

00:43:58.000 And so, in the course of the evening, there was oral sex. 0.97

00:44:06.000 And a while later, this is where it gets really crazy, I was doing that show, Dr. Drew's Loveline show, and talked to Dr. Drew. 0.98

00:44:15.000 Dr. Drew says, you know, I'm paraphrasing, he says, Steve-o, there's no such thing as a hermaphrodite. 1.00

00:44:22.000 What happened was a dude sucked your dick. 1.00

00:44:25.000 Wait a minute. 1.00

00:44:26.000 There's no such thing as a hermaphrodite?

00:44:27.000 That's what Dr. Drew told me!

00:44:29.000 I don't think that's true.

00:44:31.000 And I'm not a doctor, so I probably shouldn't say that.

00:44:35.000 But Dr. Drew's been wrong about pot, and he's not a pot smoker. 0.99

00:44:39.000 I love Dr. Drew almost more than anybody, but the first chink in his armor happened when I asked him, Dr. Drew, why is jerking off so much more pleasurable if you tickle your balls while you're doing it? 1.00

00:44:56.000 And he said, I didn't know that was the case. 0.99

00:44:59.000 What?

00:45:01.000 What? 0.98

00:45:03.000 How do you think Dr. Drew jerks off? 0.99

00:45:05.000 I think he jerks off with his head out the window. 0.92

00:45:09.000 I was like, Drew, I thought you knew everything. 0.96

00:45:14.000 What? 0.99

00:45:14.000 Your balls feel good. 0.99

00:45:15.000 Because it feels good to touch your balls. 0.99

00:45:17.000 The reason why it feels good for other people to touch your balls. 1.00

00:45:20.000 Like, listen, rub your own neck. 1.00

00:45:22.000 It feels good to rub your own neck. 0.89

00:45:23.000 Just like it feels good to get a massage. 1.00

00:45:25.000 Jesus Christ, of course it feels good to rub your balls. 1.00

00:45:28.000 What a dumb answer. 1.00

00:45:29.000 Right. 0.99

00:45:29.000 But since you brought up the allomagical thing... 0.99

00:45:31.000 Pull up hermaphrodite. 0.63

00:45:32.000 Find out if that's true.

00:45:33.000 I need to know.

00:45:34.000 Because I'm pretty sure that it's rare, but it does exist.

00:45:38.000 That there have been people that have been born... 0.99

00:45:40.000 He said fucking androgynous, I think is... 0.99

00:45:44.000 Is it androgynous is something? 1.00

00:45:46.000 But he says hermaphrodite does not exist.

00:45:49.000 And... 1.00

00:45:50.000 Well, I don't, that doesn't seem to, maybe he's just fucking around with you. 0.99

00:45:54.000 I don't think so. 0.99

00:45:55.000 That doesn't seem to make sense though.

00:45:56.000 I don't think so, because I've talked to him about it.

00:45:57.000 Because it's a medical term.

00:45:58.000 I've talked to him about it on many occasions.

00:46:00.000 Yeah?

00:46:01.000 Yeah.

00:46:02.000 Well he, I like Dr. Drew.

00:46:04.000 I love him. 0.96

00:46:04.000 I don't want to shit on Dr. Drew. 0.96

00:46:05.000 He's a good guy, but he fucked up. 1.00

00:46:07.000 He fucked up when he started talking about Hillary Clinton's medical condition on the air. 1.00

00:46:11.000 Right. 1.00

00:46:11.000 And they fired him from CNN for it. 1.00

00:46:13.000 I know.

00:46:13.000 You can't do that.

00:46:14.000 Right.

00:46:15.000 You can't do that.

00:46:16.000 If you're a doctor and you start talking about someone's medical condition without actually appraising them physically...

00:46:21.000 Well, you see that in the tabloid magazines.

00:46:23.000 This doctor commented, but then they have to clarify that this doctor, the person they're talking about wasn't ever one of their patients.

00:46:29.000 Well, he made an assessment about her health.

00:46:31.000 Right.

00:46:32.000 And that's dangerous because you're doing it on television.

00:46:34.000 You're talking about someone who's running for president.

00:46:37.000 Look, he's right in some ways.

00:46:39.000 She blacked out, hit her head, had brain trauma that Bill Clinton talked about publicly.

00:46:44.000 Bill Clinton talked about how she was in recovery for six months from brain trauma, from having a seizure, falling down, and smashing her head off the ground.

00:46:54.000 When you're 67 years old, or however old she was when that happened, that's really dangerous.

00:46:59.000 I know a lot about head trauma.

00:47:01.000 I've researched a lot about head trauma.

00:47:03.000 I've experienced a bunch of myself, as I'm sure you have.

00:47:05.000 I know you did from Tim Kennedy. 0.99

00:47:07.000 You're fucking special. 0.97

00:47:08.000 I talked to you about it afterwards. 0.99

00:47:10.000 I'm like, dude, you can't let somebody do that to you.

00:47:12.000 I know.

00:47:12.000 I asked him to drop me on my head.

00:47:14.000 He lifted me up by my neck, choking me out with my feet off the ground.

00:47:18.000 That's so dope.

00:47:19.000 And they dropped me from up there.

00:47:20.000 That's so bad for you.

00:47:22.000 And my head bounced like a basketball. 0.99

00:47:22.000 You could have died, for sure. 0.99

00:47:24.000 People die from that all the time.

00:47:24.000 The back of the head's more soft, too.

00:47:26.000 Oh my god.

00:47:27.000 It's super dangerous.

00:47:29.000 Yeah.

00:47:29.000 Like anytime you fall and you hit your head, this is how you have to think about it.

00:47:32.000 I'm not gonna do that again.

00:47:33.000 Please don't.

00:47:33.000 Don't think of it as hitting your head.

00:47:35.000 Think of it as you getting hit by the world.

00:47:37.000 That's what it's like. 1.00

00:47:38.000 The whole world is like slamming into your fucking head. 1.00

00:47:41.000 And I was talking to Tony Hawk about the CTE stuff. 1.00

00:47:44.000 Oh, it's so bad.

00:47:45.000 And he said that, uh...

00:47:47.000 That if you have a gene that predisposes you to Alzheimer's, then your brain doesn't regenerate or heal, you know? 0.99

00:47:58.000 And so you're more fucked, you're more at risk for CTE if that's the case, if you have that gene. 0.99

00:48:05.000 If you don't have the gene, then you're better off. 1.00

00:48:07.000 And he said, so I went and got it.

00:48:09.000 I went and got this test, and it determined that I don't have the gene.

00:48:13.000 So I was like, okay, cool.

00:48:15.000 And I thought about it for a while, and then I had to text him like, hey, so what were you going to do if it turned out that you did have the gene?

00:48:20.000 And he's like, oh, I didn't have a plan.

00:48:23.000 So then I ask myself, do I want to go get that test?

00:48:25.000 Because what happens if it turns out that you do have the gene and there's nothing to do about it?

00:48:29.000 Yeah.

00:48:30.000 You're super bummed.

00:48:31.000 I don't want to be bummed.

00:48:32.000 Yeah.

00:48:32.000 Well, there's ways I guess you could probably mitigate the onset of Alzheimer's now.

00:48:38.000 I would have to look at what they're doing now and what you can figure out and they're working hard at it.

00:48:42.000 Yeah.

00:48:43.000 Honest! 1.00

00:48:44.000 Fucking on that shit. 1.00

00:48:44.000 Yeah, but this, I mean, really, you need medical science to figure out, like, they have to figure out, I mean, there has to be, like, some pretty legitimate studies, and those studies take a long time, because you have to follow people with Alzheimer's, you gotta try one way with one group, and another way with another group, and see, like, what the, 1.00

00:49:00.000 you know, which group has more progress, but the bottom line is, Anytime you're getting hit in the head, it's fucking bad. 0.64

00:49:06.000 Tennis players get concussions. 0.95

00:49:10.000 People get concussions from playing soccer.

00:49:13.000 You know who gets brain trauma?

00:49:14.000 This gets really crazy.

00:49:15.000 People ride jet skis.

00:49:17.000 The bouncing of jet skis.

00:49:19.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:49:21.000 It shakes your fucking brain inside your head. 1.00

00:49:24.000 And I'm only thinking of times when I got hit in the head hard enough that I actually lost time, you know, where like a time traveled because I blacked out. 1.00

00:49:32.000 Right. 0.98

00:49:32.000 Like, I got in the ring with the fucking Monday Night Raw, the wrestling. 0.98

00:49:39.000 This was so fucking terrible. 0.99

00:49:41.000 It was so bad because here's the thing. 0.99

00:49:43.000 I was never a fucking wrestling fan. 0.98

00:49:45.000 I never got into it. 0.98

00:49:45.000 I just didn't understand it. 0.98

00:49:47.000 And so when we got in the fucking ring to promote it, we kind of walked through what the moves were going to be. 0.98

00:49:55.000 You know, with this wrestler who's since passed away. 0.98

00:49:57.000 His name is Umaga. 1.00

00:49:59.000 This fucking jet guy. 1.00

00:50:00.000 They called him the Samoan Bulldozer. 0.99

00:50:02.000 And, uh, so we walked kind of through what it was, and, like, I'm gonna do a backflip off the top rope, and he was gonna do this, and we're gonna knock me over, you know?

00:50:10.000 And it was pretty incredible how they just very loosely, like, walked through it.

00:50:14.000 Choreographed it, right.

00:50:15.000 Very loosely choreographed.

00:50:16.000 But we know what the moves are, and we know what's supposed to be the final move. 0.97

00:50:19.000 What I did not know And this proved to be really bad, is that I did not know that the match is not fucking over until you actually play dead. 0.96

00:50:27.000 You have to be completely still. 0.96

00:50:29.000 Oh, no.

00:50:30.000 So at the end, when he was supposed to... 0.95

00:50:34.000 There was some fucking pretty major hit, like, to my head or to my chest, whatever it was, I can't remember, but the final hit, like, when we were doing it live, he was hitting so much fucking harder. 0.91

00:50:47.000 Oh, yeah, I know what it was. 0.99

00:50:48.000 He jumped off the top rope and fucking... 0.99

00:50:51.000 Landed on you? 1.00

00:50:52.000 Landed on me, yeah.

00:50:53.000 Oh, jeez, here it is.

00:50:54.000 Yeah, he jumped off the top rope and landed on me. 0.99

00:50:56.000 Look at the size of that fucking... 0.99

00:50:57.000 Oh, no, he didn't. 1.00

00:50:58.000 Yeah, he did.

00:50:59.000 Oh, my God, dude.

00:51:00.000 So, now, here's the thing.

00:51:01.000 It's supposed to be over, but if you notice... 0.97

00:51:04.000 I'm fucking not playing dead. 0.96

00:51:06.000 I'm rolling around like, see? 0.99

00:51:08.000 I'm moving around.

00:51:10.000 So you didn't know?

00:51:11.000 And so here he notices.

00:51:13.000 It's supposed to be over at this point, but he's offended because he's like, I'm not...

00:51:17.000 Now, this is never supposed to happen.

00:51:19.000 Look at this elbow.

00:51:20.000 Boom! 0.99

00:51:21.000 Oh my god, he really hit you.

00:51:23.000 That knocked me out.

00:51:24.000 And I don't remember anything after that.

00:51:26.000 I don't remember leaving the ring.

00:51:28.000 Yeah, I'm begging him, I'm praying to him, but the thing is that I'm still moving.

00:51:32.000 Oh my god, and he's still throwing you out. 0.87

00:51:34.000 In his world, it's not over until you play dead, but I didn't know that.

00:51:38.000 See, they didn't even show the end of the match.

00:51:39.000 Oh my god.

00:51:40.000 They just cut away from it because it got so ugly, and I don't remember leaving the ring.

00:51:45.000 Oh no. 1.00

00:51:45.000 And then on top of that, I went home and fucking destroyed my brain some more with the goddamn nitrous. 1.00

00:51:52.000 To where I'm blacking out. 0.98

00:51:54.000 Did you talk to him afterwards? 0.99

00:51:56.000 Hey man, why'd you fucking crack me in the head? 0.97

00:51:58.000 He was cool with me. 0.99

00:51:59.000 I went back and worked my way in with my video camera trying to get him to fucking choke me unconscious like Tim Kennedy did.

00:52:09.000 I wanted to film that for a thing and he was totally down but then they got hip to what I was doing and all the WWE brass kind of got me kicked out. 0.70

00:52:20.000 He was cool with me.

00:52:21.000 But yeah, that's offensive to a wrestler to get in and play in their world and not like...

00:52:26.000 Not just get in.

00:52:27.000 Because when I get hit really hard, like to me, like I react, I laugh, you know, like whatever, like it's a thing.

00:52:33.000 And you know, like I'm reacting to it.

00:52:35.000 Right, but you gotta...

00:52:36.000 That was offensive to him.

00:52:37.000 Yeah, it has to be final.

00:52:39.000 It has to be over. 0.99

00:52:40.000 Dude, that elbow to the head was the fucking... 0.99

00:52:42.000 I can imagine. 1.00

00:52:43.000 It's a giant dude.

00:52:44.000 Yeah.

00:52:45.000 What happened to him?

00:52:46.000 How'd he pass away?

00:52:47.000 I think he had a heart attack.

00:52:48.000 Wow.

00:52:49.000 Yeah, that guy was great.

00:52:52.000 A lot of those wrestlers, they get hooked on pills because they're in pain all the time.

00:52:56.000 It's a big problem with pro wrestling.

00:52:58.000 Pro wrestling is one of the most unappreciated or underappreciated things in terms of how difficult it is for the performers.

00:53:06.000 It's one of the most difficult jobs a person can do.

00:53:08.000 Those guys are on tour hundreds of days a year, if not 300 days a year, right?

00:53:12.000 They're constantly on the road and they're doing that all the time.

00:53:15.000 They're slamming into each other, throwing each other on the ground, pile driving each other, slamming, jumping from the top rope.

00:53:22.000 I get it, man.

00:53:23.000 Massive, massive trauma.

00:53:25.000 Those guys all suffer from some kind of trauma.

00:53:28.000 For sure.

00:53:29.000 Yeah.

00:53:30.000 It's horrible.

00:53:31.000 And that was a heavy blackout.

00:53:33.000 I can think of a few times where I just blacked out because I hit my head so hard.

00:53:37.000 And then there's other times where I hit my head and then the nausea kicks in and I start barfing.

00:53:43.000 That happened when I was 10 years old. 0.79

00:53:45.000 Yeah, well, you probably got a lot of brain damage, bro.

00:53:47.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:53:48.000 And what's fucked up about it is that it doesn't affect me now, but that's just creeping up on me for later. 0.88

00:53:55.000 Well, it definitely affects you now. 0.70

00:53:56.000 It's just like, how much does it affect you? 0.99

00:53:59.000 It's like, you ever wake up, I'm sure you've broken up hungover, and you're like, oh god, I feel like shit. 0.90

00:54:04.000 Well, that's how you feel because of what you did to your body, but if that's how you felt every day, you would just get used to that. 0.99

00:54:10.000 That would be who you are. 0.98

00:54:12.000 And when you fuck your brain up, Well, the weird thing is you never go back to how you used to feel. 1.00

00:54:19.000 It's not like you can hit a switch and you go, how was I when I was 18 and I'd never been hit in the head? 1.00

00:54:23.000 Let me hit the switch.

00:54:24.000 Click.

00:54:24.000 Oh, so much clarity.

00:54:26.000 That's not available.

00:54:27.000 Right.

00:54:28.000 So you just deal with how you are. 1.00

00:54:29.000 Like, you ever wake up in the morning and you just feel kind of stupid? 0.93

00:54:32.000 You can't forget where your keys are? 0.90

00:54:34.000 What am I supposed to do today?

00:54:34.000 You just feel dull?

00:54:35.000 Everybody's been there, right?

00:54:37.000 Just feel dull.

00:54:38.000 Maybe you feel jet-lagged.

00:54:39.000 Like, you know, jet-lagged, you're like, oh, I just can't.

00:54:41.000 If anything, I feel tired. 0.96

00:54:43.000 I'm always fucking tired. 0.93

00:54:45.000 Right now? 0.96

00:54:46.000 Just in general.

00:54:47.000 And I wonder if that's it.

00:54:50.000 There's a factor, for sure.

00:54:52.000 I got on the vegan diet, right? 0.91

00:54:55.000 And I remember a while into it, I started feeling fucking tired. 0.99

00:54:59.000 And I was like, man, it's got to be my fucking vegan diet. 0.99

00:55:01.000 I'm pissed. 1.00

00:55:02.000 And then there was a point where I said, fuck the vegan diet. 0.99

00:55:05.000 I'm going to eat fish again and eggs. 0.99

00:55:08.000 But I was still tired. 0.99

00:55:09.000 And I was still fucking tired. 0.88

00:55:10.000 Do you ever get your blood work done? 0.98

00:55:13.000 I should.

00:55:14.000 I do.

00:55:14.000 I mean, I get, like, full panel everything.

00:55:16.000 You do? 0.96

00:55:17.000 Well, I mean, as far as, like, for, like, STDs and shit. 0.98

00:55:21.000 That's not good enough. 0.98

00:55:22.000 No.

00:55:22.000 Right.

00:55:23.000 You should go to a doctor that can check out your nutritional profile.

00:55:26.000 I do need to do that.

00:55:27.000 Yeah, they might say you're deficient on iron.

00:55:29.000 It could be like a niacin thing or a B12 thing.

00:55:31.000 I do have that.

00:55:33.000 They'll tell me that my testosterone is kind of low, my vitamin D. A lot of that also comes from brain damage.

00:55:39.000 Oh, yeah?

00:55:40.000 Testosterone being low is a big issue with football players, ex-fighters.

00:55:44.000 Your pituitary gland is very sensitive, and that's one of the things that happens to people literally just from jet skiing, like I was saying.

00:55:50.000 Skiing in general, like jumping, ski jumps and stuff like that, even without even getting hit in the head, just anything that causes your head to shake around a lot.

00:56:00.000 Like, I'm sure headbanging, like the guys from ACDC. I went to the fucking chiropractor. 0.99

00:56:06.000 I've been to the chiropractors, and, you know, I'll go to the chiropractor, and they're familiar with jackass and the shit I've done. 1.00

00:56:10.000 And they'll take my x-ray to look at my spine, and they're like, dude, I don't understand it. 0.99

00:56:18.000 You're like fucking Keith Richards. 0.98

00:56:20.000 You're in so much better shape than I expected you would be in, except for in my neck, where I've got the, what do they call it, the callus, or not callus, I don't know, some kind of fucking buildup. 0.99

00:56:38.000 Some sort of calcium deposits? 0.97

00:56:41.000 No?

00:56:43.000 They think it's from headbanging?

00:56:45.000 Yeah, some kind of...

00:56:46.000 So you have some disc degeneration, some sort of deterioration?

00:56:49.000 Yeah.

00:56:50.000 Anyway, whatever it is. 0.99

00:56:51.000 My neck is more fucked up than anything, and so then there's more of that. 0.98

00:56:55.000 I'm super skeptical of chiropractors, by the way. 0.99

00:56:57.000 Yeah, I'm not a big fan either. 1.00

00:56:59.000 I've just heard too many regular doctors say that's just horse shit. 1.00

00:57:02.000 Right. 1.00

00:57:03.000 It got to a point where I was like, fuck, and I was doing some job. 0.99

00:57:08.000 I was getting ready to do some job, and you go to this physician to clear you before you can work a TV or a movie job. 0.99

00:57:19.000 Right. 0.99

00:57:19.000 Go to this fucking physician to the stars, and she's shining a light down my throat, and she says, hmm, The opening at the back of your throat is very narrow. 0.99

00:57:30.000 Do you ever find that you sleep a full night's sleep, but you wake up and you're still tired? 1.00

00:57:36.000 I was like, Jesus Christ, that's exactly fucking me. 0.98

00:57:38.000 I'll sleep for... 0.99

00:57:40.000 Eight hours, nine hours, I get up fucking tired. 0.99

00:57:43.000 Sleep apnea. 0.99

00:57:44.000 Yeah, so she said, I recommend you get a sleep study.

00:57:47.000 Did you do it?

00:57:47.000 I did.

00:57:48.000 I got a sleep study.

00:57:49.000 They said I have a mild to moderate sleep apnea.

00:57:52.000 Super common.

00:57:53.000 You know, you get a mouthpiece to fix that.

00:57:55.000 I know, I got to, but I already have a...

00:57:58.000 With a fake tooth?

00:58:00.000 Yeah, the mouthpiece, fortunately for you, it fits on the bottom.

00:58:03.000 Oh, okay.

00:58:04.000 It fits only on the bottom, and what it does is it's a tongue depressor, and it presses down your tongue, keeps your tongue from sliding back and covering your air hole.

00:58:11.000 I have a buddy of mine that fixed everything.

00:58:12.000 Dude, I have to do that.

00:58:14.000 I'll hook you up.

00:58:14.000 I know a guy that does it.

00:58:15.000 Dude, I have to do that immediately.

00:58:17.000 Yeah, there's a doctor in Encino, Dr. Coropian, who's famous for it.

00:58:23.000 Yeah, please.

00:58:24.000 Yeah, please do.

00:58:25.000 It's super common, like sleep apnea.

00:58:28.000 Right.

00:58:29.000 It's people with big tongues. 1.00

00:58:30.000 Your tongue, as you lay back, especially if you lay on your back, it falls back and covers over your air hole.

00:58:36.000 Right.

00:58:36.000 And that's what causes a lot of gagging and loud snoring, you know, but it's a huge issue for people.

00:58:42.000 And that CPAP machine, man, I mean, some people need to have it.

00:58:45.000 I couldn't do it, man.

00:58:46.000 I tried it.

00:58:47.000 I tried it too. 0.99

00:58:47.000 I tried it for a while, and I was able to fall asleep, but then about an hour or two into it, the fucking thing just blowing me away and wakes me up, and I just couldn't fucking do it. 0.99

00:58:58.000 It's too weird. 0.99

00:58:59.000 You're sleeping with a Darth Vader mask on.

00:59:01.000 Yeah, it's too weird. 0.94

00:59:04.000 For really fat people, though, it's huge. 0.99

00:59:06.000 Yeah, the extent that you have to clean that fucking thing. 1.00

00:59:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:59:10.000 Man, speaking of fat people. 0.98

00:59:12.000 Mouthpiece is easy. 0.94

00:59:13.000 Where did we go from there, though?

00:59:14.000 We started out with some sort of a brain damage thing.

00:59:16.000 We were talking about Al Madrigal, and then we got on Sucking Dudes Dicks, and then we got onto Head Drama.

00:59:23.000 But I felt like we had an important thing to say about head trauma.

00:59:25.000 What did we start off with?

00:59:27.000 It was just that it's kind of bad.

00:59:31.000 Oh, being tired.

00:59:33.000 Yeah.

00:59:34.000 I guarantee you that has something to do with why your testosterone is low.

00:59:37.000 Also, another thing that has to do with healthy fats.

00:59:42.000 How much healthy fat is in your diet?

00:59:44.000 Because fats and even cholesterol are literally the precursors for hormones.

00:59:49.000 One of the things that people find when they go on a heavy fat-based diet, like a ketogenic diet, is their hormones jump up.

00:59:59.000 That's how your body makes hormones. 1.00

01:00:00.000 Your body uses fats and cholesterol, actually, to make hormones. 0.80

01:00:04.000 Now when you say healthy fat, it's like avocados.

01:00:06.000 Avocados, coconut oil.

01:00:07.000 Avocados is interesting because it's a combination of saturated fat and unsaturated fat.

01:00:12.000 And most people assume that saturated fat is bad for you, but it's not. 0.99

01:00:16.000 A lot of that came out of the sugar industry that your fucking dad was probably a part of. 0.98

01:00:21.000 The sugar industry paid off, and this was from the New York Times and a bunch of really reputable newspapers reported on this really recently. 0.99

01:00:29.000 The sugar industry paid off scientists to lie about the effects of saturated fats to cover up the effects of sugar. 0.99

01:00:37.000 It's really sad because so many people to this day run around worrying about saturated fat and not worrying about sugar because they're worried about saturated fat in their diet and that's what made people switch over to shit like margarine, which is terrible for you. 0.92

01:00:50.000 They don't even recommend margarine anymore. 0.92

01:00:51.000 That's how trans fats got introduced into people's diets.

01:00:54.000 Trans fats are terrible. 1.00

01:00:54.000 Dude, they're trying to make them illegal, and they've made them illegal in America, but they still have another year or so where you're allowed to sell it, which is hilarious. 1.00

01:01:02.000 They give these companies an extra year or two to get rid of all the bullshit that they made so that they can still fuck people over for 12 months and make money. 0.97

01:01:13.000 They knew that that stuff was bad for you decades ago, and they've been like, la, la, la, la, not listening. 0.99

01:01:19.000 Dude, I'm dying to tell you this story about my dad.

01:01:23.000 Okay, so...

01:01:25.000 When I was 12, I moved to Toronto, living in Canada.

01:01:28.000 Dad was the president of Nabisco, Canada. 0.99

01:01:30.000 Speaking of headbanging, I was a fucking rabid Motley Crue fan. 0.99

01:01:36.000 I fucking love Motley Crue. 0.99

01:01:37.000 This was 1987. Shout out to the devil! 1.00

01:01:40.000 Shout out!

01:01:41.000 This is their Girls Girls Girls Tour. 0.99

01:01:43.000 I got fucking Motley Crue all over my bedroom walls. 1.00

01:01:46.000 I'm fucking crazy about these fucking guys. 1.00

01:01:48.000 They come to Toronto for their Girls, Girls, Girls tour. 1.00

01:01:52.000 They're doing Maple Leaf Gardens.

01:01:54.000 And the day before the concert...

01:01:56.000 Well, I should say my dad knew what a big fan I was.

01:01:59.000 Nabisco, Canada had a skybox in the arena. 0.98

01:02:03.000 But my dad also knew that nobody from Nabisco gave a fuck about a Motley Crue concert. 0.61

01:02:09.000 The skybox was going to be empty. 0.97

01:02:10.000 So my dad said to me, he said, hey, I know how much you love Motley Crue, so I'm going to bring you to the concert.

01:02:17.000 We can sit in the Nabisco skybox. 0.88

01:02:19.000 And I tell my dad, dad, watching Motley Crue through a plate glass window sucks. 1.00

01:02:24.000 And he says, all right, well, basically, fuck you. 1.00

01:02:28.000 He's like, if you can do better, then we'll do better. 1.00

01:02:31.000 Then we'll use your tickets.

01:02:34.000 I was 13. Right.

01:02:37.000 The day before the concert, I see on the news, they're like complaining. 1.00

01:02:41.000 They're like, these fucking asshole rock stars come to our city and fucking fuck around like one way or another. 1.00

01:02:45.000 And I'm like, dude, they're here. 1.00

01:02:47.000 The fucking... 1.00

01:02:48.000 What are you saying? 1.00

01:02:50.000 Asshole rock stars? 0.99

01:02:51.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.90

01:02:51.000 They made the news for some... 0.90

01:02:54.000 I forget what it was.

01:02:55.000 I think they started some kind of fire or something, but they were on the news. 1.00

01:02:59.000 They were complaining, these fucking guys come here. 0.99

01:03:02.000 And so I'm like, they're in Toronto, they're in the city now, and the fucking concert's tomorrow. 1.00

01:03:07.000 So I deduce that they're in a hotel, and I'm gonna fucking find these guys. 0.99

01:03:12.000 I'm gonna fucking find them. 0.99

01:03:12.000 And you're 13? 0.99

01:03:13.000 I was 13. And so I go fucking running to my room, right? 0.99

01:03:16.000 Right away, I'm thinking, I know all the guys, and I know their real names, like Vince Neil. 0.90

01:03:21.000 is vincent wharton right like i know all their names and i'm like i'm gonna fucking check into the the hotel as like frank carlton ferrano right that's nikki six they're not gonna use their real names and i was like they're gonna check into the hotel under the name of their manager right and i just guess you just knew it go right into my room and i fucking check on my little cassette album sleeves I check everyone, 0.94

01:03:45.000 it says Doc McGee, which is their manager at Doc McGee. 0.97

01:03:48.000 So I'm like, that's the fucking one. 0.98

01:03:50.000 I go run into the phone book, and I fucking open it up to hotel, like the Yellow Pages. 0.99

01:03:57.000 And I just straight start calling every fucking hotel in the Yellow Pages. 0.97

01:04:01.000 And when the hotel answers, I'm like, will you please put me through to Mr. Doc McGee's room? 0.94

01:04:06.000 The show was a Sunday, so it's a Saturday.

01:04:09.000 My dad's watching college football.

01:04:11.000 I'm sitting there on the phone calling every hotel in Toronto, just going down the list.

01:04:15.000 Not even calling the ones with the ads.

01:04:17.000 Literally just sticking to the list so I don't miss one.

01:04:20.000 My mom's pissed because there was no call waiting. 1.00

01:04:22.000 She's like, you're tying up the house phone.

01:04:24.000 My dad, all my dad ever wanted was for me to show initiative and to be, like, motivated for something, you know?

01:04:30.000 And so my dad's, like, super stoked.

01:04:32.000 I'm on fire. 0.99

01:04:32.000 I'm telling my mom, Mom, I'm calling Motley Crue, fucking... 0.99

01:04:35.000 And my dad, like, calls off my mom, you know? 0.99

01:04:37.000 Like, honey, like, let him do his thing. 0.93

01:04:39.000 And I fucking sat there for probably two or three hours just calling hotels. 0.92

01:04:44.000 And I get... 0.99

01:04:44.000 They put me through to this room. 0.99

01:04:46.000 There was one, like, false alarm, you know?

01:04:48.000 But then the second McGeeves room that I got through to, the guy picks up the phone and, uh...

01:04:54.000 I say, hello, is that Doc McGee?

01:04:56.000 And he says, no, this is Doc's brother, Scott.

01:04:59.000 And I'm like, as in Motley Crue?

01:05:01.000 And he says, how did you get this number? 0.98

01:05:04.000 And I told him, I just called every fucking hotel on the Yellow Pages. 0.99

01:05:07.000 You told him? 0.99

01:05:08.000 I said, I just called every hotel on the Yellow Pages.

01:05:10.000 Is the Crue there?

01:05:12.000 And he goes, hold on a second. 0.99

01:05:15.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

01:05:17.000 That's awesome. 0.98

01:05:20.000 He goes, I'm so impressed by what you did.

01:05:22.000 He says, how would you like it if I put you on the list for backstage passes and I can give you tickets in the fifth row? 0.99

01:05:30.000 So he gave me two tickets in the fifth row, fucking backstage passes. 0.99

01:05:34.000 My dad's a chauffeur to the fucking Maple Leaf Gardens. 1.00

01:05:39.000 We got in the fucking press line. 1.00

01:05:41.000 Fifth row! 1.00

01:05:42.000 Fifth row, dude.

01:05:43.000 That's insane.

01:05:43.000 That's actually better than the first row.

01:05:45.000 You're like a little back?

01:05:47.000 It was the dopest. 1.00

01:05:49.000 I was fucking headbanging like a mug. 0.99

01:05:51.000 I gave myself hella brain damage that night, dude. 0.97

01:05:53.000 Is that a picture from the era? 0.99

01:05:56.000 Dude, how are you not showing me with fucking Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee, dude? 0.96

01:06:01.000 Is that your picture? 0.99

01:06:01.000 No, no, no, no. 0.99

01:06:03.000 Dude, just Google Steve-O and fucking Steve-O and Motley Crue, man. 0.99

01:06:07.000 When you were 13? 1.00

01:06:09.000 I was fucking 13. We went up to the skybox and I put my ghetto blaster next to the little speaker deal. 0.99

01:06:18.000 Yeah, there's me and Tommy Lee.

01:06:20.000 That's hilarious.

01:06:23.000 How old is Tommy Lee?

01:06:26.000 That's crazy.

01:06:27.000 Me and Nikki Sixx right there.

01:06:29.000 You were like a baby. 1.00

01:06:30.000 I was a fucking baby, dude. 1.00

01:06:31.000 That is so weird. 0.99

01:06:33.000 Yeah, and you know, I'm standing next to these guys, and I'm like, I don't have fucking shit to talk to them about, but the fact that I was standing next to those guys, and I was like, you know what? 0.98

01:06:43.000 I'm here backstage with my fucking heroes, and it's because I fucking decided so, you know? 0.99

01:06:49.000 Wow. 0.99

01:06:49.000 Like, there's something about that that gave me this... 0.99

01:06:52.000 This mentality.

01:06:53.000 And then you see the top left right there?

01:06:55.000 Check it out.

01:06:56.000 All these years later, when they announced that they were back together and going on their Carnival of Sins tour, Tommy Lee asked me to do something fucked up and introduce them, dude. 0.53

01:07:06.000 How full circle. 0.89

01:07:07.000 Wow.

01:07:08.000 Yeah, dude.

01:07:09.000 That's crazy.

01:07:11.000 Dude, it was the dopest, man.

01:07:12.000 Who's the dude on the far right?

01:07:13.000 That's Mick Morris.

01:07:14.000 With the hat?

01:07:15.000 Yeah.

01:07:16.000 He's got, like, a degenerative bone disease.

01:07:18.000 What's going on with him?

01:07:19.000 Yeah, like, I forget what it's called, but, uh, yeah, he's, like, they gotta, like, have him come out when the lights aren't on.

01:07:26.000 Oh, no.

01:07:26.000 Like, uh, you know, or, I don't know, maybe he's doing better, I don't know.

01:07:30.000 He limps?

01:07:30.000 Yeah, he's in rough shape.

01:07:33.000 Poor guy.

01:07:34.000 But, yeah, dude, I love that story, man.

01:07:36.000 Wow.

01:07:36.000 And my dad, you know, is, like, kind of how my dad is.

01:07:40.000 That's awesome, man.

01:07:41.000 Yeah, dude.

01:07:42.000 That's a great story.

01:07:43.000 Well, thank you, man. 0.96

01:07:44.000 It really made me into a monster in some regard because, like, I think that at that young age, it's like, you know, I really can fucking, you know, if you just... 0.75

01:07:54.000 And I've always said, like, it doesn't matter what people want. 0.97

01:07:57.000 It just matters how bad they really fucking want it. 0.88

01:07:59.000 I mean, of course, like... 0.97

01:08:00.000 It definitely matters what they want.

01:08:01.000 You want to play basketball against, like...

01:08:03.000 Of course.

01:08:03.000 Within some kind of reason.

01:08:04.000 LeBron James.

01:08:05.000 Within some kind of reason.

01:08:05.000 Dude, but I want it.

01:08:06.000 Ha! 0.89

01:08:06.000 Right, of course. 0.89

01:08:08.000 Within some fucking parameters of reality. 0.99

01:08:11.000 Right, right. 0.99

01:08:11.000 It's a factor. 0.99

01:08:13.000 What do they say?

01:08:13.000 They say that luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

01:08:19.000 Yes.

01:08:20.000 Which is dope.

01:08:21.000 That's true. 1.00

01:08:22.000 I love that fucking scene. 0.99

01:08:23.000 Yeah, there's a lot of variables, and you can control some of them. 1.00

01:08:26.000 Right.

01:08:27.000 You can control some of them. 1.00

01:08:29.000 And now, like with fucking stand-up, and I really want to, you brought up Allomagic, I'm only going to say this quickly, and I want to be careful not to lynch the guy, because, you know, I don't want everyone to say, oh, fuck that guy. 0.99

01:08:42.000 From everything I understand, he's hilarious. 0.99

01:08:45.000 He's a great guy.

01:08:46.000 He's a great guy, he's hilarious, and you should absolutely check out his comedy special on Showtime, which is called Shrimpin' Ain't Easy. 0.95

01:08:52.000 To decide for yourself, is this guy fucking funny? 0.94

01:08:54.000 Yes, he's very funny. 0.99

01:08:56.000 He's very funny. 0.97

01:08:57.000 Now, I never met the guy, and I didn't know shit about him.

01:09:00.000 And this was, was it 2012 or 2013?

01:09:07.000 I had been headlining comedy clubs since 2010, you know?

01:09:12.000 I got into it and I was just...

01:09:14.000 So you've been doing stand-up for seven years now?

01:09:16.000 Yeah, well technically it's been almost 11 years since the first time I ever tried it.

01:09:21.000 Which was at the Laugh Factory when Skylar Stone in 2006 asked me to do a stunt at the Laugh Factory.

01:09:29.000 Because he's hosting a show and he wants to, you know. 0.98

01:09:32.000 So I'm like, yeah, I'll do a fucking stunt. 0.99

01:09:33.000 Like, whatever. 0.99

01:09:34.000 And I showed up.

01:09:34.000 I had no game plan when I walked in.

01:09:36.000 Just as I said, I can't. 0.89

01:09:38.000 There's nothing fucking crazier than me getting on stage trying to make people laugh. 0.97

01:09:42.000 That's the stunt. 0.99

01:09:43.000 I was terrified.

01:09:44.000 And so I tried it that night.

01:09:46.000 But I never got, like, really hardcore, like, in earnest until 2000. Sorry, 2010. Now, 2012, 2013, I'm at a point where I'm super comfortable in my 45 minutes, right?

01:09:59.000 Like, whatever my hour is at that point.

01:10:02.000 Like, I'm just really comfortable in it.

01:10:04.000 And I'm starting to feel, like, stale. 1.00

01:10:06.000 Because I'm fucking going through the motions and the shit. 0.99

01:10:10.000 Like, you know what that's like, right? 1.00

01:10:12.000 You get to a point where you're just like, fuck, I'm dying because I'm not, you know... 0.98

01:10:15.000 Not doing anything new. 0.99

01:10:16.000 Not doing anything new. 0.99

01:10:18.000 And the worst is if you go back to a fucking place and do the same material. 0.99

01:10:25.000 I don't ever want to fucking do that. 0.99

01:10:28.000 So I'm like, okay... 0.98

01:10:32.000 My comfort zone.

01:10:33.000 And I gotta get out of it.

01:10:34.000 But I just wasn't doing it.

01:10:36.000 I finally put my foot down. 1.00

01:10:38.000 I said, fuck it. 1.00

01:10:39.000 Okay? 1.00

01:10:39.000 This is what I'm doing. 1.00

01:10:41.000 I'm promising myself.

01:10:42.000 I'm gonna go do 10 minutes.

01:10:43.000 I'm gonna do a 10-minute set here in LA. And even if I have to, I put it on my fucking calendar for one week later. 0.98

01:10:50.000 And even if I have to bomb, I'm not backing out. 0.99

01:10:54.000 Period.

01:10:54.000 I'm going, I'm doing 10 new minutes.

01:10:56.000 And I wrote a fucking set and I went over to the laugh factory and I did it and I was thrilled. 0.98

01:11:02.000 I got some laughs, you know? 1.00

01:11:03.000 Then I go over to the fucking improv. 0.98

01:11:07.000 And I'm like, hey, you know, and I made the mistake. 0.99

01:11:09.000 It was a mistake.

01:11:10.000 I say, hey, I'm working on some new material.

01:11:11.000 You never say that when you're working on new material.

01:11:13.000 To the audience?

01:11:14.000 Yeah.

01:11:15.000 Right.

01:11:15.000 But I mentioned it.

01:11:16.000 I said, hey, or maybe I did it.

01:11:18.000 And then I said, hey, guys, thanks. 0.88

01:11:19.000 You know, like I was trying some new material and thanks for, you know, and I diligently recorded the fucking set to play it back and hear where the laughs were. 0.97

01:11:27.000 You know like I wrote my own shit I went there and I fucking did new shit and I worked it out and I recorded it and You know that's how you do it, right? 0.98

01:11:35.000 Well when I get off the stage And I'm thrilled because the fucking people left, you know, and I sit in the crowd I sit in the crowd the host brings up the next comic the next comic is all magical He walks out he goes Oh my God, what did we just see? 0.99

01:11:50.000 We just saw Steve-O working on new material. 0.97

01:11:56.000 I just...

01:11:57.000 And he's just like, I just can't take it anymore.

01:12:03.000 Like, I just...

01:12:04.000 I just can't believe that, you know, that...

01:12:08.000 This thing that I consider my calling in life, stand-up comedy, that I care about it so much, and now we have Steve-O and Dustin Diamond out here doing this thing.

01:12:22.000 He's like, I can't believe that these people are taking something that's so sacred to me and just using it as their last resort. 1.00

01:12:30.000 And I'm sitting right there watching him say this shit. 1.00

01:12:33.000 I'm like, what the fuck? 1.00

01:12:35.000 You know? 1.00

01:12:36.000 Like, what the fuck are you doing, dude? 1.00

01:12:38.000 It was such a blatant attack from the stage, you know? 1.00

01:12:42.000 And I'm like, it's not fucking right, because A, motherfuckers were laughing, you know? 0.99

01:12:49.000 I played it back. 0.99

01:12:50.000 I got in the car right after that.

01:12:52.000 I sat there and watched it.

01:12:53.000 I couldn't even believe it.

01:12:54.000 And then there was a lady that was talking at her table, and he just went in on her beyond what was like, hey, be quiet.

01:13:03.000 I was starting in with the personal, whatever.

01:13:07.000 I don't even care.

01:13:08.000 But what I perceived was that here's a guy who's claiming that his whole passion is stand-up comedy, but his whole attack on me and then berating the woman, there weren't any jokes.

01:13:18.000 It was almost like he just forewent the act of performing comedy to just kind of be mean to me.

01:13:24.000 Because he was upset that you were doing stand-up.

01:13:26.000 He was upset that I was doing stand-up and whatever.

01:13:30.000 But then after his set, he went in and started telling jokes after that.

01:13:34.000 But after his set, he comes over to the sound booth and I'm sitting right next to the sound booth.

01:13:38.000 Sitting right next to it.

01:13:39.000 And he comes over and says something to the sound guy and kind of awkwardly notices I'm sitting right there.

01:13:44.000 And then he comes over and he leans over the table and he says, just so you know, what you're doing isn't taken lightly.

01:13:51.000 Like face to face, I felt like he totally insulted me.

01:13:54.000 Just so you know, what you're doing isn't taken lightly.

01:13:58.000 Like, I don't even know what it meant, but it was clear that the sentiment was like, and I meant everything I said.

01:14:04.000 You know, I felt like he came and insulted me to my face on top of that.

01:14:08.000 And I was just, I was pretty bent out of shape about it.

01:14:11.000 But I didn't like say anything or, you know, And I certainly wouldn't have come here to talk about that, like, at all, except, what was it?

01:14:19.000 I was on here a couple weeks ago.

01:14:21.000 And, like, I see in my Twitter feed, like, my name is tagged, and it says, listen to the podcast, douche.

01:14:30.000 And I'm like...

01:14:32.000 Huh?

01:14:33.000 And I'm like, okay, so Al was on the Joe Rogan podcast, and I guess he's telling me to listen to it.

01:14:39.000 And then there was more like Brendan Schaub replied, and they're all playing nice. 0.95

01:14:43.000 And I just fucked, so I started listening to the Al Madrigal thing. 0.93

01:14:46.000 And right out of the gate, he's saying like, oh man, I have this habit where I kind of create problems. 1.00

01:14:53.000 I talk shit on people, and I create beefs. 0.98

01:14:56.000 And it's really counterproductive, and I should work on it. 0.98

01:15:00.000 It's not a good thing.

01:15:01.000 And he basically went on to apologize to everybody under the sun. 0.98

01:15:06.000 And then my name comes up, and he makes the distinction that, oh, well, I actually don't feel bad about fucking talking shit on Steve. 0.98

01:15:14.000 He says, I actually don't feel bad about this at all. 0.99

01:15:17.000 And then he goes on to repeat, like, all the shit that he said from the stage. 0.99

01:15:21.000 And, like, I got so bad out of fucking shade that night. 0.99

01:15:24.000 You know, you saw I texted you. 0.98

01:15:26.000 I know, we talked, yeah.

01:15:27.000 And whatever.

01:15:28.000 Like, he's just, you made the great point. 1.00

01:15:30.000 He said, hey, you know, he does that shit sometimes. 1.00

01:15:32.000 He says dumb shit. 1.00

01:15:34.000 And I actually had a conversation with him about it. 1.00

01:15:37.000 And it was a hilarious conversation because he was like, he calls me up and I answer the phone.

01:15:42.000 He's like, how are you doing? 0.94

01:15:42.000 I'm like, well, not that fucking good, you know? 0.94

01:15:44.000 I was so fucking pissed. 0.98

01:15:45.000 I didn't even really fucking sleep last night. 0.99

01:15:48.000 Were you that pissed? 0.98

01:15:49.000 I was.

01:15:50.000 It really kept you up?

01:15:51.000 It kept me up, dude.

01:15:52.000 That's crazy.

01:15:53.000 How do you let other people affect you that much?

01:15:55.000 That's a great question.

01:15:57.000 Do you meditate at all? 0.96

01:15:58.000 I got into the TM and I've been doing it very fucking little. 0.81

01:16:03.000 I gotta do it way more. 0.95

01:16:04.000 Yeah, you do.

01:16:05.000 You can't let someone rent space in your head like that.

01:16:08.000 I know, thank you.

01:16:09.000 Because what he said was very mild.

01:16:10.000 It was.

01:16:11.000 It was!

01:16:12.000 And we said on the podcast, he was also kind of conciliatory.

01:16:15.000 It was like, eh, conciliatory to everybody but me.

01:16:19.000 That's, I think, what bothered me so much.

01:16:21.000 He goes, I feel bad, I do this, but then when it comes to Stevo, I actually don't feel bad about this one. 1.00

01:16:28.000 It's so stupid. 0.99

01:16:29.000 What you do is funny. 1.00

01:16:30.000 I've seen you.

01:16:31.000 I've seen you do stand-up.

01:16:32.000 You're funny.

01:16:32.000 Well, thank you, man.

01:16:33.000 You're a comic, in my mind.

01:16:35.000 Hey, I appreciate that so much. 0.92

01:16:37.000 And I think that what particularly fucking got me hot about that was that the time that he chose to attack me was when I was really working the craft of fucking comedy, writing my own material, 0.87

01:16:52.000 going out there, getting outside of my comfort zone. 0.98

01:16:55.000 Right. 1.00

01:16:55.000 Doing fucking new shit, diligently recording it, fucking like, that's the craft! 1.00

01:16:59.000 Doing actual stand-up, yeah, that's the craft. 1.00

01:17:00.000 That's the fucking craft, and it was just a fucking shitty time to do that. 0.98

01:17:03.000 Well, he really does care about stand-up comedy, but I think because of that, caring, sometimes it blinds you, you know? 0.99

01:17:10.000 And I'm very sensitive to it because I experienced it a lot when I was first starting out, where people didn't think that I fit into the mold of what they thought a stand-up should be.

01:17:19.000 Sure, sure. 0.96

01:17:19.000 And I'm glad that you make that point because, yeah, it was fucking mild. 0.96

01:17:22.000 The fact that I got bent out of shape the way I did, It's bullshit. 0.98

01:17:28.000 You're such a public figure, too, and your career has been so controversial. 0.93

01:17:33.000 That's why I don't understand why you're so sensitive to criticism, because everything you've done has been chaos.

01:17:39.000 You've done so much chaos. 0.99

01:17:41.000 I just would imagine that so many people shit on you. 1.00

01:17:44.000 I guess. 1.00

01:17:45.000 I don't know. 0.97

01:17:46.000 I just think that I fucking care about comedy. 0.82

01:17:49.000 I would imagine him saying that to you in person just so you know what you're doing is not taken lightly. 0.99

01:17:56.000 I would probably smack him.

01:17:57.000 I really would have a really hard time with that. 0.90

01:18:00.000 Like what?

01:18:00.000 Doing stand-up?

01:18:01.000 That's not taken lightly?

01:18:03.000 What do you own?

01:18:04.000 Stand-up? 1.00

01:18:04.000 You're out of your fucking mind? 1.00

01:18:07.000 This is what I said to you the other day. 1.00

01:18:09.000 Don't you like stand-up?

01:18:10.000 I like stand-up. 1.00

01:18:11.000 I want my fucking mailman to try it. 0.99

01:18:13.000 He might be funny. 0.99

01:18:14.000 Dude, one of the funniest guys I ever fucking met was a private detective that I worked for.

01:18:18.000 He lost his license at a DUI, and I wound up being his driver. 0.95

01:18:22.000 And he needed a driver.

01:18:24.000 He needed an assistant, in quotes.

01:18:26.000 But really what he needed was a guy to drive him around because he lost his license for six months or something like that.

01:18:30.000 So I worked for him for like six months. 0.98

01:18:31.000 He was the funniest fucking guy I ever met in my life. 0.95

01:18:35.000 And while I was doing stand-up, I think I was 21 at the time, and I think he was probably 35, 36. I was like, this guy just did stand-up. 0.98

01:18:45.000 He would fucking put me out of business. 0.98

01:18:47.000 That's all I could think of. 0.99

01:18:48.000 If this guy went into stand-up, meanwhile, he was a man.

01:18:51.000 He had experienced life.

01:18:53.000 I was a boy, right?

01:18:55.000 But everybody that you like that wants to do stand-up, you should encourage them to do it.

01:18:59.000 Like my friend Brendan Schaub, he does stand-up. 1.00

01:19:01.000 Fuck him! 1.00

01:19:01.000 And he faces the same shit. 1.00

01:19:03.000 People are like, this fucking guy, he's doing stand-up! 1.00

01:19:05.000 Bullshit! 1.00

01:19:06.000 I heard about... 1.00

01:19:07.000 Eric Griffin.

01:19:08.000 Very similar. 1.00

01:19:09.000 Eric Griffin shit on him. 0.99

01:19:10.000 But Eric was just being funny. 1.00

01:19:12.000 And I said to him, I go, of course they're gonna shit on you. 0.99

01:19:14.000 You're a big, handsome gorilla, and you're on stage. 1.00

01:19:17.000 He is fucking shockingly good-looking. 0.99

01:19:18.000 He's a good-looking fella. 0.99

01:19:19.000 Handsome fella.

01:19:21.000 What a great dude.

01:19:22.000 He's a great guy and he's funny. 0.87

01:19:24.000 He's fucking funny and I told him you should do stand-up. 0.93

01:19:26.000 And he's smart. 0.99

01:19:27.000 He's very smart.

01:19:28.000 And he works hard.

01:19:30.000 Yeah.

01:19:30.000 He's been doing stand-up a year and he's killing.

01:19:32.000 He does really well.

01:19:34.000 I saw him the other night at the Comedy Store sandwiched in between me and Dane Cook.

01:19:38.000 Swimming with sharks.

01:19:39.000 Yes!

01:19:40.000 Swimming with sharks, he was doing a real show, like at a real show, and he had a real good set.

01:19:44.000 Dane Cook helped me a lot, man.

01:19:45.000 I know he's a polarizing figure, but when I got into stand-up in earnest, because back in 2006, I was like, man, I really like this, you know?

01:19:58.000 I tried it.

01:19:59.000 I got on stage for a few minutes that first night, and the sense I got was that people were excited to see me.

01:20:05.000 They were rooting for me.

01:20:07.000 They wanted me to do well.

01:20:08.000 For some reason, I can be endearing to people and they're rooting for me.

01:20:12.000 And I got a few laughs, you know? 1.00

01:20:14.000 I made a couple of fucking gay jokes, whatever. 0.99

01:20:19.000 And before I left the Laugh Factor that night, I scheduled my return. 1.00

01:20:22.000 And before I came back, I wrote a set.

01:20:25.000 And I came back and it went reasonably well and I was thrilled.

01:20:28.000 Then I got overconfident.

01:20:29.000 I was like, oh, I'm just good at stand-up. 0.99

01:20:31.000 So I fucking come back again and don't even, I don't try to work on the fucking act I had written. 0.99

01:20:36.000 I'm like, no, I'm going to do fucking, I'm just going to go up and wing it. 0.99

01:20:38.000 And I bombed and it hurt, you know, it hurt. 0.97

01:20:41.000 And then I bombed again and then I was like scared to get back to it.

01:20:45.000 And I was out of control with drugs, so like I was really, it wasn't the time.

01:20:49.000 Now, once I got sober in rehab, then Going to bars, going to nightclubs, that's not on the table anymore.

01:20:57.000 You gotta ask yourself, do you have a reason to go there? 0.98

01:21:00.000 And I didn't have any fucking reason. 0.96

01:21:01.000 But I had every reason to go to a comedy club, so that became my go-to thing at night. 0.98

01:21:06.000 If I'm going out with a girl, it's like a thing. 0.91

01:21:09.000 I got a reason to be there, and I go to the comedy club. 0.99

01:21:12.000 And so I'm sitting in the comedy club in my early sobriety, and we're looking at the stage, thinking, motherfucker, I should be on that stage. 0.98

01:21:18.000 I should be on that stage, but I was, like, scared, you know? 0.97

01:21:20.000 And then, as the press machine was, it wasn't even, like, the first thing I even did ostensibly to promote Jackass 3D was this young Hollywood interview, and they said, oh, Dane Cook's in there.

01:21:32.000 Just go barge into his interview.

01:21:34.000 It'll be great.

01:21:34.000 So I walk into Dane Cook's interview, and, uh, I meet him and I'm like, hey dude, I've dabbled in stand-up and I want to get serious about it.

01:21:42.000 I want to really dive in. 0.95

01:21:44.000 And fucking to his credit, man, he said, cool. 0.99

01:21:47.000 He said, let's do it. 0.99

01:21:48.000 I'll give you my number.

01:21:49.000 We'll get you on stage at the improv in a week. 0.99

01:21:54.000 And he gave me his number and I fucking wrote and I wrote. 0.99

01:21:57.000 I wrote that whole fucking week. 1.00

01:21:58.000 And I went and I fucking practiced at that shitty little open mic Marty's. 0.99

01:22:03.000 It's hilarious. 0.99

01:22:04.000 You wouldn't even know about it.

01:22:05.000 Where's Marty's?

01:22:06.000 It's on Sunset Boulevard, right by Rock and Roll Ralphs. 0.98

01:22:09.000 It's a hilarious little fucking hole in the wall, open mic. 0.97

01:22:15.000 And I went, you know, sure enough, I met Dane Cook at the improv. 0.98

01:22:18.000 It was like two comics after Sarah Silverman, and then I go on, then Dane goes on. 0.87

01:22:24.000 And right after Dane's set, he sat down with me and fucking gave me notes. 0.56

01:22:29.000 The first thing he said was, I'm not sending you back to the drawing board. 0.83

01:22:33.000 Which was like his way of saying that the material I did, like, wasn't, like, don't rewrite.

01:22:38.000 Like, it's good.

01:22:39.000 He's just worried about your delivery and your timing. 0.99

01:22:40.000 And from there, I went to the fucking two nights later. 0.98

01:22:44.000 I'm with the Laugh Factor. 0.98

01:22:44.000 Dane's there. 0.98

01:22:45.000 It was just like, he took me under his wing, you know?

01:22:48.000 Like, just, like, with regularity.

01:22:49.000 He'd go, and I'd go, and he'd go, or the other way around, and he'd sit me down and give me notes. 0.98

01:22:54.000 And I put so much fucking wind in my sails. 0.96

01:22:56.000 That's awesome. 0.99

01:22:56.000 I'm really grateful to Dane Cook for that. 0.99

01:22:59.000 Aw, play the music.

01:23:01.000 Are hermaphrodites real?

01:23:04.000 I got the info on that.

01:23:05.000 Oh yeah, what's up with the hermaphrodites?

01:23:07.000 They're real.

01:23:07.000 They changed the name to intersex a couple years ago, so the medical terminology was changed.

01:23:12.000 So is there such a thing as having a dick and a pussy? 1.00

01:23:15.000 Yeah, so here's all the stats on which is born with which, and there's different... 1.00

01:23:21.000 One in 1,666 births.

01:23:24.000 So I don't know which is actually the...

01:23:26.000 Androgen insensitivity syndrome.

01:23:29.000 Both parts, but...

01:23:30.000 So they don't necessarily use the term hermaphrodites.

01:23:33.000 Right.

01:23:34.000 Yeah.

01:23:34.000 It's still used, like, in biology.

01:23:36.000 Oh, I see.

01:23:37.000 So when it comes to...

01:23:39.000 Oh, so there's, like, a list of...

01:23:41.000 It looks like there's, like, 30 of them.

01:23:42.000 How many are there?

01:23:42.000 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. When referring to humans, I think they stopped using that word.

01:23:48.000 Because it made people feel bad?

01:23:49.000 Probably.

01:23:50.000 Jesus Christ.

01:23:52.000 So, complete gonadal diagenesis.

01:23:55.000 Ooh.

01:23:56.000 One in 150,000.

01:23:57.000 That can't be good.

01:24:00.000 Alpha reductees deficiency, five alpha reductees deficiency, vaginal agenesis.

01:24:06.000 Imagine vaginal agenesis. 1.00

01:24:09.000 It sounds like you have an old pussy. 1.00

01:24:12.000 You're born, I'm sorry, your baby was born with an old pussy. 1.00

01:24:15.000 You look down, it's like an old floppy grandma pussy. 1.00

01:24:18.000 I don't even want to know what that is. 1.00

01:24:20.000 Put that away. 1.00

01:24:22.000 But only your vagina. 1.00

01:24:25.000 Could be worse things. 1.00

01:24:26.000 Your face is cute.

01:24:29.000 So there are hermaphrodites. 1.00

01:24:31.000 There are people that are born with a vagina. 1.00

01:24:34.000 Google, are there people that are born with both a vagina and a penis? 1.00

01:24:40.000 Are people born with both a vagina and a penis? 1.00

01:24:42.000 Because there was too many medical terms there. 0.98

01:24:44.000 I don't know which one of those would apply.

01:24:45.000 Right, it's kind of like with little people. 1.00

01:24:49.000 I hate that fucking term. 0.99

01:24:50.000 Well, the thing about Dr. Drew is he's an addiction specialist, right? 1.00

01:24:55.000 So how much does he even know about this stuff?

01:24:58.000 I mean, how much did he really learn about this stuff? 0.95

01:25:00.000 And he's also an addiction specialist who erroneously says that marijuana is hugely addictive, which is just ridiculous. 0.98

01:25:07.000 Well, I... Dude, I used to fucking... 0.99

01:25:11.000 Used to do it a lot, I'm sure. 0.96

01:25:12.000 But yeah, here's the thing, dude.

01:25:15.000 At one point, I was sort of house-sitting for this chick, and I humped a...

01:25:24.000 A strange chick in her bed and tied the rubber in a knot, which I would do, you know, and tied the rubber in a knot and threw it on the floor. 1.00

01:25:31.000 Her fucking dog ate the rubber, right? 1.00

01:25:34.000 Okay. 1.00

01:25:35.000 And it was her boyfriend's dog, and I'm thinking, oh no, the fucking dog maybe took the rubber. 1.00

01:25:40.000 Throw up the rubber. 1.00

01:25:41.000 Right, like the dog took the fucking rubber for like a victory lap, and it's gonna drop, and it's gonna look terrible for this girl. 0.99

01:25:48.000 So I'm like following the dog around. 0.99

01:25:49.000 Ultimately, the dog shitted out, and it was hilarious.

01:25:52.000 But I felt bad, because like, It's kind of like sodomizing the dog.

01:25:58.000 And so then I felt like to make it up to the dog, You can get the dog high?

01:26:03.000 I owe it to the dog to do it myself, because this is a funny bit. 0.96

01:26:08.000 To swallow a condom filled with a load in it?

01:26:11.000 What does this have to do with pot? 0.99

01:26:14.000 That would be really funny, but I got it in my head, I'm going to swallow a condom, but then I was like, okay, cool, when I'm on tour in Europe, I'll fucking put weed in the condom, tie it in a knot, and it'll be like a skit where I film it's an international drug smuggler skit. 0.98

01:26:28.000 I'll do it in one country, and I'll fly it to the other country and shit it out. 0.99

01:26:31.000 And I did it. 1.00

01:26:33.000 It was a fucking saga. 0.99

01:26:34.000 I actually have a fucking epic... 0.99

01:26:35.000 There's a huge tentpole bit in my stand-up right now about that whole... 0.98

01:26:40.000 I got arrested for international drug smuggling in Sweden.

01:26:44.000 Did you?

01:26:45.000 I did. 0.99

01:26:45.000 It was fucking epic. 0.99

01:26:46.000 It's so classic, dude. 1.00

01:26:48.000 Because of swallowing a condom full of pot? 1.00

01:26:50.000 That's the greatest fucking story ever, dude. 1.00

01:26:52.000 It's so fucking awesome, yeah. 0.99

01:26:56.000 How'd you get caught? 0.98

01:26:58.000 Because I had fucking told the press. 0.99

01:27:01.000 At first, I did it so big that when I tried to fucking swallow it, it got stuck in my throat. 0.99

01:27:09.000 And I'm freaking the fuck out. 0.98

01:27:12.000 And then I fly from Norway to Sweden, and Knoxville told me I was going to- How big was the nug? 0.93

01:27:19.000 Dude, I didn't even break the buds off the stem.

01:27:26.000 You swallowed a branch? 1.00

01:27:28.000 A branch of a fucking tree? 1.00

01:27:32.000 And it had a fucking rock of hash in there, too. 1.00

01:27:34.000 Oh, Jesus! 1.00

01:27:35.000 In the same condom?

01:27:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:27:37.000 So you swallowed a dick. 1.00

01:27:39.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:27:39.000 You basically swallowed a pot dick. 1.00

01:27:41.000 That's one of the jokes. 1.00

01:27:42.000 That's one of the jokes.

01:27:42.000 Like a deep throat in the Incredible Hulk.

01:27:46.000 Oh, no.

01:27:47.000 Like, show me in your fingers how big this thing was you swallowed.

01:27:51.000 It was, uh...

01:27:52.000 I don't know.

01:27:53.000 I mean, it's on video, and that's for my next comedy special.

01:27:56.000 It's on video?

01:27:57.000 Yeah, I filmed everything.

01:27:58.000 I was filming it for my DVD at the time.

01:28:00.000 Is it online?

01:28:02.000 I'm sure it probably is, but what I'm so excited about my next comedy special is that so many of the stories I tell in my stand-up are things that happened on camera originally.

01:28:11.000 Right.

01:28:12.000 So I'm editing into the fucking actual stand-up Kind of like you do with the podcast, like supporting archival footage, which just demonstrates that everything is not only truthful, it's not even embellished. 0.93

01:28:27.000 It's like 100%. 0.77

01:28:29.000 And I'm just so excited to do that.

01:28:32.000 Yeah, that's it, dude.

01:28:34.000 Oh my god!

01:28:35.000 Wait a minute.

01:28:36.000 It's hard to tell because of the perspective.

01:28:38.000 Where's your fingers?

01:28:39.000 It's a bad video, too. 0.99

01:28:40.000 It's fucking huge. 0.99

01:28:42.000 Play it so they can see it. 1.00

01:28:43.000 That's where I'm swallowing it.

01:28:45.000 Oh, no, you can see it right there. 0.99

01:28:46.000 Yeah, it's fucking massive. 0.99

01:28:47.000 Oh my god, you swallowed that? 0.99

01:28:49.000 Yeah, it got stuck in my throat. 1.00

01:28:51.000 Dude, it's so ridiculous. 0.99

01:28:53.000 For people that are looking, it's basically like an eight-year-old's fist. 0.99

01:28:58.000 It's totally stuck in my throat.

01:29:01.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:29:03.000 Fuck, it's hard to swallow. 1.00

01:29:04.000 And I'm throwing up blood. 1.00

01:29:07.000 I'm trying to swallow it again to go down.

01:29:09.000 Oh, you're throwing up blood.

01:29:10.000 Oh, this is so crazy.

01:29:12.000 So you scrape the inside of your body up.

01:29:13.000 I was trying to swallow it.

01:29:15.000 It wouldn't go down.

01:29:16.000 I'm trying to barf.

01:29:16.000 It wouldn't come up.

01:29:18.000 Oh, no. 0.99

01:29:19.000 And so I fly to fucking Sweden because my buddies are like, we've got to take you to the hospital. 1.00

01:29:24.000 Did you shit that out ever? 0.99

01:29:25.000 It took six and a half days. 0.99

01:29:27.000 I called him Knoxville.

01:29:28.000 Oh my god. 0.99

01:29:29.000 And Knox was like, dude, you're going to die of intestinal strangulation because it's fucking going to block up my intestines. 0.99

01:29:34.000 Oh my god, dude. 0.99

01:29:36.000 And whatever.

01:29:36.000 So it took days to come out.

01:29:38.000 And when it came out, man, you must be so happy. 1.00

01:29:40.000 My asshole exploded, dude. 1.00

01:29:42.000 I don't want to tell all my jokes on this fucking podcast because that's fucking lame. 1.00

01:29:46.000 That's a big, important part of the... 0.99

01:29:48.000 Dude, it's fucking the best bit. 0.98

01:29:51.000 I love it. 0.98

01:29:52.000 I'm proud of what I'm doing on stage.

01:29:54.000 So are you saying that pot is addictive?

01:29:58.000 That was how I got in.

01:29:59.000 That was how I first did it.

01:30:00.000 Then I realized, okay, because filming Wild Boys, I would freak the fuck out whenever we went to the Far East, because you know you're not going to be able to find weed, and that's not okay.

01:30:14.000 I went to anywhere where I wasn't confident I would be able to get weed. 0.92

01:30:18.000 I sat there with my, before going to the airport, I sat there with my fucking weed grinder and just grind it up like a ton and then fucking compacted it so, you know, I broke the buds off the stems, you know? 0.95

01:30:31.000 And then I would fill up I'd put about like an eighth in each condom, whatever, nice and small, pack it up, and I would swallow like six of them, you know? 0.98

01:30:40.000 Really?

01:30:41.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:30:42.000 So when you swallowed those, how long did it take to shit those up? 0.99

01:30:44.000 Those ones would come out quick. 0.98

01:30:46.000 Like how quick?

01:30:46.000 Those ones would come out in, I don't know, like one to two days.

01:30:52.000 How many times did you swallow condoms? 1.00

01:30:54.000 When I went to Thailand, even when I went to Russia, it was my fucking thing. 1.00

01:30:59.000 That was your thing? 1.00

01:31:01.000 Shitting out your pot that you would smoke? 0.96

01:31:03.000 Yeah! 1.00

01:31:06.000 When you lit it, did it ever smell like a condom?

01:31:09.000 It never smelled like a condom.

01:31:12.000 Wow.

01:31:12.000 There's a lot of funny in that.

01:31:15.000 I'm sure there is.

01:31:16.000 But that's a psychological issue.

01:31:19.000 Physical addiction is what we're talking about.

01:31:21.000 People get physically addicted to alcohol.

01:31:24.000 Alcohol is one of the most dangerous physical addictions because when you get off of it, you die from it.

01:31:30.000 That's how Amy Winehouse died. 0.98

01:31:32.000 A lot of people think she died from drugs.

01:31:33.000 She actually died because she went cold turkey off of alcohol. 0.95

01:31:36.000 I believe that.

01:31:37.000 Yeah, it kills people. 1.00

01:31:38.000 You know how I know that I'm a fucking true drug addict? 1.00

01:31:41.000 Is that I watched that documentary, Amy, and as I walked out of the fucking theater, I was like, fuck, man, I want to get out. 1.00

01:31:52.000 That's so crazy. 0.99

01:31:53.000 That was the least glamorous portrayal of drug addiction ever, and it just looked great to me. 1.00

01:31:58.000 I was like, oh my god, fuck that. 0.99

01:32:00.000 Well, there's no mistaking the fact that somehow or another that what she was doing with her life, whether or not you could say that it was the drugs or the state of mind that she was in when she was taking the drugs, she produced some fucking amazing music, man. 1.00

01:32:15.000 Right. 0.90

01:32:15.000 She tapped into it, whatever it is. 0.90

01:32:18.000 She wasn't the hottest chick. 0.99

01:32:20.000 You know that someone's talented when they're not that hot of a chick and they're a fucking huge... 1.00

01:32:26.000 Star for singing. 0.99

01:32:27.000 Oh, yeah.

01:32:27.000 She was super talented.

01:32:29.000 I mean, there's a lot of not-hot chicks like Adele. 1.00

01:32:33.000 Who else?

01:32:35.000 I mean, I'm sure you could find some other ones.

01:32:38.000 I've never really sat down and thought about it.

01:32:40.000 Exactly.

01:32:41.000 It's kind of a rule.

01:32:42.000 You're supposed to be really hot and be able to sing.

01:32:44.000 Yeah, I guess so.

01:32:46.000 I think Amy Winehouse and Adele... 0.65

01:32:48.000 That's unfortunate, isn't it? 1.00

01:32:50.000 It's bullshit, yeah. 1.00

01:32:51.000 For a girl, right? 1.00

01:32:52.000 That's got to suck. 1.00

01:32:54.000 Oh, you know who else? 1.00

01:32:56.000 Fuck what dicks we are. 1.00

01:32:58.000 But Sia. 1.00

01:32:59.000 Who's that?

01:33:00.000 Sia's not super hot. 1.00

01:33:01.000 I don't know who that is.

01:33:03.000 She is a hugely popular singer.

01:33:08.000 I'm so out of the loop. 0.98

01:33:09.000 I'm that old man who doesn't know what the fuck's going on with the young kids today. 1.00

01:33:12.000 These fucking kids today. 1.00

01:33:14.000 I get it, dude. 1.00

01:33:15.000 He had to tell me that Lil Bow Wow fakes. 1.00

01:33:17.000 The fact that he was on a jet, a private jet.

01:33:20.000 I was like, who has Lil Bow Wow?

01:33:21.000 I heard about that.

01:33:22.000 It's a challenge now.

01:33:24.000 He said it was his jet and that's when he got busted?

01:33:26.000 He said he was flying on a private jet and someone was actually on a commercial flight with him and took a picture of him because they saw it on Instagram. 1.00

01:33:33.000 This motherfucker's full of shit. 1.00

01:33:34.000 He's right in front of me. 1.00

01:33:36.000 That's so fucking classic. 0.98

01:33:37.000 That's hilarious. 0.98

01:33:38.000 That's exactly like that dude Bear Grylls.

01:33:40.000 Yes.

01:33:41.000 Very similar. 1.00

01:33:41.000 That's the same fucking thing. 1.00

01:33:42.000 Well, it's actually worse. 1.00

01:33:43.000 He's like Bear Grylls.

01:33:45.000 It's like he set up his tent like Ferris Bueller with the mannequin.

01:33:49.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:33:49.000 Well, the Bow Wow thing is indicative of an entire culture that's just all about showing off your flashy shit and showing that, you know, we're ballin' here, we're ballin'. 0.99

01:34:01.000 Right, and I was watching a fucking documentary, a Vice documentary on YouTube about Bay Area hip-hop, and the whole thing is they're talking about how it's such a fucking travesty that all the tech money came in and the area got gentrified, and the whole thing is they're like, 0.97

01:34:18.000 Our land got gentrified and the rap artists talk about it, but they're like, and I got millions. 0.98

01:34:25.000 It doesn't jive.

01:34:27.000 You can't be complaining about gentrification and talking about...

01:34:30.000 Your millions or your ball.

01:34:32.000 Well, not all hip-hop does that.

01:34:34.000 There's some socially conscious hip-hop.

01:34:37.000 In the documentary, they were doing it.

01:34:38.000 Oh, they were doing it? 1.00

01:34:39.000 That's so stupid. 1.00

01:34:40.000 They're complaining. 1.00

01:34:41.000 They're complaining that these people that make the fucking very electronics they need to make their music came in and... 0.98

01:34:48.000 Man, I had a terrible time in San Francisco. 0.98

01:34:51.000 San Francisco's a trip.

01:34:52.000 I got my car broken into. 0.99

01:34:54.000 I parked it outside of a fucking vegetarian restaurant, granted, in the Tenderloin. 0.99

01:34:59.000 Tenderloin's terrible. 1.00

01:35:00.000 I know, but it was fucking noon. 0.99

01:35:02.000 It was noon, and I parked it right outside the restaurant, and they fucking smashed my window. 0.99

01:35:07.000 And then for the rest of the weekend, I was at Cobb's Comedy Club. 0.99

01:35:10.000 The rest of the weekend, every single person I said, yeah, I got my fucking window smashed and my shit stolen on my car. 0.99

01:35:15.000 Every person I mentioned that to said, yeah, that happened to me too. 0.99

01:35:18.000 Yeah, there's a lot of...

01:35:19.000 And that's starting to happen in L.A. too, man.

01:35:21.000 Well, it's always happened in L.A. Well, like West Hollywood, the smash and grab isn't becoming...

01:35:26.000 But, dude, in San Francisco, it's the worst.

01:35:28.000 But it's always happened.

01:35:29.000 There's always been broke people that break into people's cars, especially if you leave anything, like, really obvious in the front seat.

01:35:34.000 It's visible.

01:35:36.000 It's worth something.

01:35:37.000 Dude, I was the biggest scorer that whoever broke into my car...

01:35:40.000 What did they get?

01:35:40.000 Dude, I had my super pack.

01:35:42.000 I was getting ready to go fucking film. 0.99

01:35:43.000 My super pack is like... 1.00

01:35:45.000 Plus, I had all the merch money from selling fucking merch. 0.98

01:35:48.000 You left it on your car? 0.99

01:35:50.000 I was going to film and I didn't even fucking think about it, dude. 0.99

01:35:53.000 Wait a minute. 0.97

01:35:54.000 You didn't think that you were going to park in one of the shittiest neighborhoods in all of California with a really valuable...

01:36:00.000 Yes, okay.

01:36:01.000 Yes, Joe.

01:36:01.000 Well, you're saying it like it's like, wow, it's so weird.

01:36:07.000 Okay, Joe. 0.99

01:36:09.000 I'm dumb. 0.98

01:36:11.000 I hit my head a lot, Joe. 0.99

01:36:12.000 Okay.

01:36:16.000 People don't know how bad the tenderloin is.

01:36:18.000 I didn't know how bad it was.

01:36:20.000 I know a guy got murdered there. 0.99

01:36:21.000 And for me, I'm like, dude, what could happen outside of a spiritual fucking vegetarian restaurant? 0.99

01:36:26.000 Oh, Jesus. 0.99

01:36:27.000 A lot. 0.98

01:36:28.000 That's a lot of hippies getting jacked. 1.00

01:36:30.000 Plus, we sat by the window so as to see the car in our line of vision and somehow missed it.

01:36:38.000 How is that possible?

01:36:39.000 Yeah, I don't know, dude.

01:36:40.000 Spaced out.

01:36:40.000 Yeah, San Francisco is a weird place now, because the money that you have to spend to buy a house there is so crazy that it doesn't even make sense anymore.

01:36:50.000 Right. 0.98

01:36:50.000 There was a house that was for sale for over a million dollars, and it was a fucking tiny, shitty shack that had to be torn down. 0.98

01:36:58.000 I mean, there was literally nothing there. 0.99

01:37:00.000 And people were like, this is the most piece of ridiculous real estate in all of North America. 0.88

01:37:04.000 Right? 0.69

01:37:05.000 It's all that tech money.

01:37:06.000 I lived there when I was a kid.

01:37:07.000 I lived there from age 7 to 11. I used to do a magic show on Fisherman's Wharf when I was 8 years old.

01:37:12.000 I think you were telling me that you were talking with Al about it.

01:37:16.000 About what?

01:37:17.000 Yeah, we worked at Cobbs together.

01:37:18.000 But I used to live there when I was a little kid.

01:37:20.000 And it was just...

01:37:21.000 You know, this was during the Vietnam War.

01:37:24.000 It was like hippie time.

01:37:24.000 It was weird.

01:37:25.000 It was just all hippies and gay people. 0.98

01:37:28.000 And it was, you know, that was what San Francisco was forever until this tech boom. 0.99

01:37:33.000 And now it's just fucking insane money.

01:37:36.000 If you ever go on like, I go on like that app Trulia. 0.98

01:37:40.000 It's like a real estate app.

01:37:41.000 And I go, what kind of houses they have in Seattle?

01:37:43.000 Like, let's look at houses just for a goof.

01:37:45.000 Sure.

01:37:45.000 You look at San Francisco and you're like, what is 14 million Bayou in San Francisco?

01:37:50.000 Holy shit are you getting fucked. 1.00

01:37:52.000 Right. 1.00

01:37:52.000 Like our regular house is like 14 million bucks. 1.00

01:37:56.000 West Vancouver is pretty fucked up too. 0.90

01:37:58.000 Is there a lot of tech money up there too? 0.99

01:38:00.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:38:00.000 I don't know what it is, but it's fucked up. 0.99

01:38:02.000 It's tech money for whatever reason. 0.95

01:38:04.000 I guess it's just because, you know, everybody uses tech and there's just tons of money in it.

01:38:09.000 Right.

01:38:09.000 But those guys just seem to figure out a way to make more money than anybody.

01:38:14.000 There's so much money in San Francisco, though.

01:38:16.000 It's crazy.

01:38:17.000 Right.

01:38:18.000 I know.

01:38:19.000 So you had a bad time in San Francisco because you parked your car in the Tenderloin with a lot of money and a lot of electronics in it.

01:38:24.000 Yeah, a lot of electronics, yeah.

01:38:26.000 Laptop, iPad, fuckin' 70D every lens, three grand in cash. 0.93

01:38:32.000 Oof, oof, oof, oof. 0.93

01:38:34.000 Are you doing, um, so you're doing, like, these shows, are you filming them?

01:38:38.000 Is that why you're bringing all this electronics?

01:38:39.000 Um...

01:38:40.000 Sometimes yeah, and sometimes I'm just filming for whatever YouTube, you know.

01:38:45.000 Now you did your Showtime special, that was what, a year and a half ago or so?

01:38:48.000 Yeah, it was the end of 2015 and then it aired in March of 2016. Yeah, because I remember you getting in touch with me saying you need someone to choke you out in Texas.

01:38:56.000 I'm like, I know the guy. 0.92

01:38:58.000 Yeah, I fucking love Tim Kennedy. 0.99

01:39:00.000 I'm so thrilled with how my fucking special came out on Showtime. 0.99

01:39:03.000 Oh, that's awesome. 0.99

01:39:04.000 I'm really fucking thrilled with it.

01:39:05.000 Can people get it somewhere other than Showtime? 0.67

01:39:07.000 Is it available on Netflix or any of those things?

01:39:10.000 I had Showtime, Showtime On Demand, and then Vimeo.

01:39:15.000 Oh, it was on Vimeo?

01:39:17.000 Yeah, I think that...

01:39:18.000 I guess it was tied up for two years before it can go on Netflix.

01:39:23.000 Oh, so is it available now?

01:39:24.000 Not yet.

01:39:25.000 Not yet.

01:39:26.000 So soon?

01:39:26.000 Yeah.

01:39:27.000 That's cool. 0.54

01:39:28.000 I'm fucking stoked on how that came out.

01:39:30.000 Are you gonna do another one?

01:39:31.000 Yeah, dude.

01:39:32.000 Like I said, man, I'm working on doing a comedy special where I edit in archival footage, which sort of makes it a docu-comedy special, which I love. 0.99

01:39:43.000 Are people born that have a penis and a vagina? 1.00

01:39:45.000 Have we figured that out? 1.00

01:39:46.000 That's what I was looking up.

01:39:49.000 Yes and no, I would say, after what I was reading.

01:39:52.000 Most of the hemaphrodite comes from having ovaries and testicles that are maybe both at the same time. 0.88

01:39:58.000 There's pseudo-hemaphrodites, or also true hemaphrodites, and there's some sort of...

01:40:05.000 So a true hermaphrodite is someone who has both genitals? 0.65

01:40:07.000 Yeah, this is the best explanation.

01:40:08.000 Why isn't it a picture?

01:40:09.000 True hermaphrodite's internal sex organs contain both ovarian and testicular tissue.

01:40:14.000 In some cases, that means that a ball on one side and an ovary on the other.

01:40:17.000 In others, it means hybrid beasties known as ovi...

01:40:20.000 Oh, oh my god.

01:40:21.000 Ovi-testes. 0.99

01:40:22.000 To the naked eye, their external genitals tend to be iffy. 1.00

01:40:25.000 Maybe it's a big clit. 1.00

01:40:27.000 Perhaps it's a teeny-weeny.

01:40:28.000 It's an urban dictionary.

01:40:29.000 No, this is scientific.

01:40:30.000 This is a scientific document.

01:40:32.000 Perchance it's some unholy, pinot-vaginal mismatch.

01:40:36.000 Pseudo-hermaphrodites have the chromosomal and internal sex organs of one gender, while the external protuberances are, again, anyone's guess.

01:40:47.000 Hmm.

01:40:47.000 Photo.

01:40:48.000 Click that.

01:40:49.000 Mm-hmm.

01:40:50.000 Nothing?

01:40:51.000 Oh.

01:40:51.000 Whoa!

01:40:52.000 Oh. 0.99

01:40:53.000 That's a hardcore clit. 1.00

01:40:55.000 That makes sense. 1.00

01:40:57.000 That is a hermaphrodite, right?

01:40:59.000 That's got to be. 1.00

01:41:00.000 This page also has something called a double vagina. 1.00

01:41:03.000 Dude, the clit is an anteater. 1.00

01:41:05.000 What did you say? 1.00

01:41:05.000 A double vagina? 1.00

01:41:06.000 Double vagina, double penis, and then there's this thing down at the bottom I found, which is this. 1.00

01:41:10.000 Never heard of this. 1.00

01:41:12.000 Persistent cloaca. 0.59

01:41:15.000 One in 20,000 female births. 0.98

01:41:18.000 Vagina and urethra coverage converge into one nauseating funnel-like drainage hole located somewhere in the taint area between the clitoris and the buttocks. 1.00

01:41:28.000 Poop, pee, and vaginal sludge mingle freely. 0.86

01:41:31.000 Corrective surgery is costly, complicated, and risky.

01:41:34.000 Don't click on that photo. 0.99

01:41:36.000 What about the double vagina photo? 1.00

01:41:38.000 Click on that bitch. 1.00

01:41:38.000 See what the fuck's going on up in that. 1.00

01:41:41.000 Oh, Jesus. 0.99

01:41:42.000 There's one next to the other one.

01:41:44.000 Whoa.

01:41:45.000 Why does it look like that?

01:41:47.000 It looks like a chicken.

01:41:48.000 Yeah, well, that's like an autopsy.

01:41:50.000 Yeah, that's not good.

01:41:52.000 That's when it didn't work out. 1.00

01:41:54.000 Let's go with the double penis. 1.00

01:41:55.000 Let me see a double penis picture. 1.00

01:41:57.000 Is that real? 1.00

01:41:58.000 And this isn't one of those dudes that slices it. 0.82

01:42:02.000 That micro-penis thing is a bummer, man. 0.78

01:42:05.000 Click. 1.00

01:42:06.000 Two penises. 1.00

01:42:08.000 Oh, it's true, guys. 1.00

01:42:09.000 Double dick. 1.00

01:42:10.000 No, that's a slice. 1.00

01:42:11.000 This website's bullshit. 0.99

01:42:15.000 1955 image. 0.99

01:42:16.000 That's a 1955 image?

01:42:18.000 That's what it says.

01:42:19.000 Oh, okay, so it's not a split. 0.99

01:42:21.000 He's just got a broken double dick thing going on. 1.00

01:42:23.000 He's peeing out of his clit hole. 1.00

01:42:25.000 It's like the lizard dude that cut his tongue. 1.00

01:42:27.000 A lot of people do that.

01:42:28.000 That's real common. 1.00

01:42:30.000 They're cutting the tongue, cutting the dick. 1.00

01:42:32.000 They split their dick down the middle. 1.00

01:42:34.000 And then their pee comes out in just a big ol' splatter. 1.00

01:42:37.000 Yeah.

01:42:38.000 Well, you know, people just...

01:42:40.000 They just do.

01:42:42.000 That's right, man.

01:42:43.000 It's a weird world we live in, Steve-O. Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:42:47.000 It's another thing about my comedy special that, and who knows when I'll do it. 1.00

01:42:51.000 Ooh, that guy's got two double dicks. 0.99

01:42:52.000 Big fatties. 1.00

01:42:53.000 He really does. 1.00

01:42:55.000 Maybe you donate one to a friend with a little dick. 1.00

01:42:57.000 They do that now. 1.00

01:42:58.000 They're doing dick replacement surgeries. 1.00

01:43:01.000 If someone had an accident or something happened to their dick, they give them a penile replacement where someone will die and they'll take his dick and sew it onto you and it works. 1.00

01:43:13.000 You can get an erection and everything. 1.00

01:43:14.000 Didn't they do it for a soldier that got an explosion? 0.89

01:43:18.000 I thought I remember reading that.

01:43:19.000 I do not remember.

01:43:20.000 I remember the first guy that got it done though, I believe was a 50-year-old man and something happened to him.

01:43:26.000 And he was dickless for like a year.

01:43:29.000 Tough year. 0.97

01:43:31.000 Yeah, well, he kind of sewed back up. 0.92

01:43:33.000 Remember, he did porn when it was done. 1.00

01:43:36.000 I think it was just the head of his dick. 1.00

01:43:37.000 She cut it in half. 1.00

01:43:39.000 She basically just swapped the top off. 0.99

01:43:41.000 Yeah, what a terrible woman. 1.00

01:43:43.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:43:44.000 Yeah.

01:43:45.000 Oof.

01:43:47.000 Oof. 0.99

01:43:48.000 I'll never forget, and I didn't even know this was real until somebody explained to me on the show that this actually happened, but Ozzy Osbourne's wife was on some talk show that she was doing for a while, and she was joking around about some woman who cut her husband's dick off, 0.99

01:44:03.000 then threw it in a garbage disposal. 0.98

01:44:06.000 And they were laughing about it.

01:44:07.000 I'm just laughing, thinking about his willy spinning around inside that garbage pillow. 0.65

01:44:11.000 And I went, wow! 0.98

01:44:13.000 What double standards!

01:44:14.000 What crazy double standards! 1.00

01:44:16.000 Because could you imagine a group of men sitting around laughing about a guy cutting off a chick's pussy and throwing it in a garbage disposal? 1.00

01:44:22.000 I can't imagine a scenario where you would not only laugh about that, but laugh about it on television and think it's okay. 1.00

01:44:30.000 But somehow or another it was okay for her to laugh about a guy losing his dick and having it chopped off and thrown into a fucking garbage disposal. 1.00

01:44:38.000 It's a weird, creepy double standard. 1.00

01:44:41.000 Right.

01:44:42.000 But at the same time, if you think... 0.99

01:44:46.000 I'm kind of close to this because sometimes people want to make a female version of Jackass where girls do terrible shit and hurt themselves on purpose. 1.00

01:44:57.000 And that's never going to work. 0.99

01:44:59.000 And it boils down to a hormonal thing because...

01:45:05.000 Men, with testosterone, the idea is that we're providers and we're supposed to be macho and prove that we're tough, and so it becomes funny to see a guy fail and get hurt.

01:45:16.000 Right, but not be victimized.

01:45:19.000 But with women, they're maternal, they're nurturers, so it's not cool to see them get hurt. 0.50

01:45:26.000 You know, it blurred the line a little bit. 1.00

01:45:28.000 They tied the guy down and cut his dick off and threw it in the garbage disposal. 0.98

01:45:33.000 This is not like a blurry line here. 0.99

01:45:35.000 Alright.

01:45:36.000 Okay, Joe. 1.00

01:45:37.000 This is a woman who's in jail for the rest of her life because she chopped this dude's cock off. 1.00

01:45:42.000 Alright, hey man. 0.99

01:45:43.000 I'm just saying it's weird that they thought it was okay to laugh about.

01:45:46.000 It's not, I mean, it's horrific that people do horrific things to each other. 0.61

01:45:49.000 It's no more horrific that a woman does it to a man than a man does it to a woman, and people have done horrible shit to women forever, but it's never funny.

01:45:56.000 Was it funny? 0.98

01:45:56.000 Like, did they make it funny? 0.98

01:45:58.000 Because a lot of people can make a lot of things funny.

01:46:00.000 She ain't funny.

01:46:01.000 Yeah.

01:46:01.000 Ozzy Osbourne's wife?

01:46:03.000 Not very funny. 0.62

01:46:04.000 No, it was just gross.

01:46:05.000 It was just mean.

01:46:06.000 But it was weird that all these women thought it was funny. 1.00

01:46:08.000 Like, ha ha ha, he lost his dick. 1.00

01:46:10.000 Ha ha ha. 1.00

01:46:11.000 It's like, whoa, it didn't seem real.

01:46:15.000 But I guess it's also because of what you're saying. 0.99

01:46:18.000 It's like there's something funny about a man getting fucked up. 0.99

01:46:23.000 A lot of people feel like that about watching women fighting. 1.00

01:46:26.000 There's people that I know that are super uncomfortable with watching a Ioana Jacek fight because she beats the fuck out of chicks and bashes her face in and cuts them up. 1.00

01:46:35.000 Right. 0.98

01:46:36.000 I've become a major fan of UFC. Yeah.

01:46:40.000 I really fucking love that shit, and I think it's incredible how not only did women be, you know, I mean, Dana White said forever that there will never be women, and then now not only are there women, but they're like the headliners. 1.00

01:46:52.000 Yeah, they're the headliners often. 1.00

01:46:54.000 This past weekend, it was a co-main event, Joanna Janjacek, and it was a real good fight, because the woman she was fighting was just tough as fuck, and she took a serious beating, but there's a fight that she did, Joanna Janjacek, against, see if you pull up the highlights, Janjacek versus Jessica Panay. 0.67

01:47:11.000 Try spelling her name. 0.65

01:47:12.000 Good luck.

01:47:13.000 I don't even know how to spell it.

01:47:15.000 It's so hard to spell her name that people just call her Yolanda Champion. 0.86

01:47:18.000 They don't even try with her last name because it's like a J and then a Z and then a fucking E and then some letters that don't even exist in the English language. 0.98

01:47:26.000 But she beat this girl up so bad that it was fucking disturbing. 0.99

01:47:32.000 Oh. 1.00

01:47:33.000 I mean, she fucked this girl up. 1.00

01:47:36.000 Yeah, there's a lot of blood in this one, right? 1.00

01:47:39.000 Oh, it's horrible.

01:47:40.000 Well, the girl just did not belong in the ring with her. 0.99

01:47:44.000 I mean, in the cage with her.

01:47:45.000 And she's from Holland.

01:47:49.000 Poland.

01:47:49.000 Yeah, multiple time world Muay Thai champion.

01:47:52.000 She was, before she ever got into MMA, she was one of the best strikers on the planet. 1.00

01:47:55.000 And if you go like deep into the fight, she just pecks her apart for the first couple of rounds and then by the time you're deep in the round, she's just a mask of blood. 1.00

01:48:05.000 And Joanna is just beating the fuck out of her and smashing her in the face with elbows and cutting her up. 1.00

01:48:11.000 And then the final barrage when they stop the fight, you see blood pouring out of her nose. 0.99

01:48:18.000 It's coming out.

01:48:18.000 And the girl, Jessica Panay, I'll do credit to her.

01:48:21.000 That girl is tough as fuck. 1.00

01:48:22.000 Look at this. 1.00

01:48:23.000 She is a mask of blood and swelling. 1.00

01:48:26.000 And Yon Jacek is just a fucking demon. 1.00

01:48:29.000 She's just kicking at her and smashing her in the face. 1.00

01:48:32.000 And the blood on her face comes from the other girl. 0.90

01:48:34.000 Oh, yeah.

01:48:35.000 Well, she probably got hit a few times herself.

01:48:37.000 I mean, it was a fight.

01:48:39.000 I'm sure she got scratched and cut a little bit.

01:48:42.000 If she got hit at all, which I'm sure she did.

01:48:44.000 But look at that.

01:48:45.000 These short elbows.

01:48:46.000 Look at that girl's face. 1.00

01:48:48.000 And you see also that she's just having a hard time taking it.

01:48:52.000 And this is the final barrage. 0.99

01:48:53.000 She steps forward and elbows her in the face and just beats the shit out of her. 1.00

01:48:59.000 And I had some friends that were watching this that weren't MMA fans, and they were like, fuck this. 1.00

01:49:04.000 I can't watch this. 0.99

01:49:05.000 Like, look at this.

01:49:05.000 Bang!

01:49:07.000 Bang! 1.00

01:49:07.000 Look at that. 1.00

01:49:08.000 That was his final barrage.

01:49:10.000 Oh, no way, dude.

01:49:12.000 What?

01:49:14.000 I just had a lot of thoughts all at the same time, like thinking, man, what an honor to sit next to Joe Rogan as he essentially commentates a fight.

01:49:22.000 Like, a lot of people would want to do that.

01:49:24.000 And then I was just thinking, oh, you know, like, I'm such a fan of yours, you know?

01:49:28.000 I'm a fan of yours, too.

01:49:29.000 Thank you, man. 0.98

01:49:30.000 I'm a fucking big fan. 0.97

01:49:31.000 Well, we're friends. 0.99

01:49:32.000 We don't really have to talk like we're fans of each other.

01:49:34.000 We're just buddies.

01:49:35.000 Right.

01:49:35.000 Thank you.

01:49:36.000 Then I thought, fuck, dude, this one coming up is in Anaheim. 0.99

01:49:40.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:49:40.000 The one where Cormier and Jon Jones. 0.99

01:49:42.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:49:43.000 What an exciting fucking thing it is. 0.99

01:49:45.000 How do I... You want to go? 0.99

01:49:47.000 Yeah.

01:49:47.000 Okay.

01:49:48.000 Oh, dude, you're the man.

01:49:49.000 You're hooked up.

01:49:50.000 That's it. 0.99

01:49:50.000 I fucking love that. 0.99

01:49:51.000 Dude, I'll have you sitting right next to me. 0.98

01:49:53.000 My dad's going to be in town, too.

01:49:54.000 My dad's going to be staying with me.

01:49:55.000 Oh, dude, I'll give you two tickets.

01:49:57.000 One for your dad.

01:49:57.000 Come on, son.

01:49:58.000 Oh, fucking cool, dude. 0.99

01:49:59.000 You and your dad. 0.99

01:50:00.000 I want to meet your dad.

01:50:01.000 I want to hear about the story when you were 13 and you went to Motley Crue with him.

01:50:04.000 Dude, my dad's got...

01:50:06.000 That wouldn't even be a priority for him, I don't think.

01:50:08.000 That's awesome, man. 0.91

01:50:09.000 It was fucking great. 0.89

01:50:10.000 That's cool. 0.99

01:50:11.000 Ah, dude, I'm so excited. 0.91

01:50:12.000 I wanted to ask, too, like, you know, for all the shit-talking, people have to promote the fights, you know? 0.63

01:50:17.000 But, like, Daniel Cormier and Jon Jones, no matter who wins at the end of the fight, they're going to shake each other's hand, right? 0.89

01:50:23.000 I hope so.

01:50:24.000 I hope so. 0.99

01:50:24.000 Is it common, like, what we saw with Ronda Rousey not shaking me shit? 0.99

01:50:30.000 How do you fucking arm bar somebody? 1.00

01:50:32.000 They tap out, and then they get up and go to shake your hand, and you won't do it. 0.98

01:50:36.000 Like, that...

01:50:37.000 Well, I think that mentality that Rhonda has, she's mercenary in there. 1.00

01:50:44.000 And it wasn't over when it was over to her.

01:50:47.000 For her, it wasn't a competition.

01:50:49.000 It was life.

01:50:49.000 It was life or death.

01:50:51.000 I don't know, man.

01:50:53.000 I mean, that same thing is probably why she's not fighting anymore.

01:50:56.000 Her animosity and her emotions were so riding on that thing.

01:51:01.000 And then when she lost, and then when she lost again in a devastating fashion, that's also the reason why there was so much backlash.

01:51:08.000 Whereas someone who's really loved, like Randy Couture, Randy Couture would lose a fight, and no one talked, I mean, I'm sure someone talked trash about him, but no one's opinion of him differed when he lost, because he's such a good guy.

01:51:20.000 And because when he won, you know, after the fight, he would always pick the guy up and shake their hand and hug them, and he was always a gentleman.

01:51:29.000 When people have that sort of a mentality...

01:51:32.000 Here's a perfect example.

01:51:33.000 This past weekend, Dustin Poirier and Eddie Alvarez had a fight, and the fight was stopped.

01:51:39.000 Because of an illegal blow that Eddie Alvarez accidentally landed on Dustin Poirier, and the crowd was booing Eddie Alvarez, and Dustin Poirier yelled at the crowd, don't boo this man.

01:51:49.000 Like, we were in a fight, and he's not a dirty fighter, and he made a mistake.

01:51:53.000 First of all, Eddie Alvarez's eye was closed, he could barely see, he was completely on queer street, he had been almost knocked unconscious, and he hit this dude in the clinch with a couple of knees, and the referee didn't stop him, and he thought they were legal. 0.90

01:52:05.000 You know, he's in the chaos of a crazy cage fight, but to have those two dudes after the fight, both are bloody and battered, both of them are just like exhausted from a war, right?

01:52:17.000 And I'm interviewing the both of them side by side, and to have Dustin Poirier step in to defend Eddie Alvarez, who just need him illegally in the face, telling the crowd, don't boo this man.

01:52:29.000 Like, he was literally upset.

01:52:31.000 And then they shook hands.

01:52:32.000 There's something beautiful about that.

01:52:34.000 And I think people like the animosity, but they also really like the fact when the animosity is squashed after the fight and people hug it out.

01:52:41.000 They really do like that.

01:52:42.000 Yeah, and I think that there's a parallel.

01:52:46.000 With comedians who don't want to accept other comedians.

01:52:49.000 Yeah, I think so too. 0.99

01:52:50.000 And then there's you who's just not insecure and wants more fucking comedy. 0.98

01:52:53.000 Well, I love comedy, you know, and I love comedians. 0.98

01:52:56.000 There's some comedians that want to be the only person that's funny. 0.93

01:52:58.000 And they also bring people that suck with them on the road. 0.96

01:53:00.000 That's one thing you say. 0.99

01:53:01.000 I can't stand it.

01:53:02.000 Oh, that's so common.

01:53:03.000 Guys, they stack the deck.

01:53:05.000 They'll bring someone on the road with them that's terrible.

01:53:08.000 I try to bring the funniest young guys I can find.

01:53:10.000 Ian Edwards.

01:53:10.000 Yeah, Ian, and this weekend, Tony and Ian.

01:53:12.000 Those guys are national headliners, you know?

01:53:14.000 But I bring both of them on the road with me.

01:53:16.000 And Joey Diaz.

01:53:17.000 I had one show in...

01:53:22.000 November 2011, and it was my first theater show in LA. And this was like, I'm going to have everybody that matters to me.

01:53:30.000 And I asked Ian Edwards to open for me.

01:53:34.000 That's awesome. 0.75

01:53:35.000 And I'm fucking stoked. 0.99

01:53:37.000 He's an animal. 0.99

01:53:37.000 I was just so stoked that he even did it. 0.99

01:53:40.000 And I loved that he's so much better than me. 0.94

01:53:42.000 He's a really fucking good guy, too. 0.79

01:53:45.000 He's another guy that, like, he spent too much time doing other things other than doing stand-up. 0.96

01:53:51.000 And this is one of the things that I always tell comics.

01:53:53.000 You've got to be careful of those honeypot jobs, like writing for a show.

01:53:57.000 Like, a lot of really good comics wind up losing their stand-up careers because they develop a writing career.

01:54:04.000 And they, like, Ian should be a national headliner in big theaters all over the world.

01:54:09.000 For sure.

01:54:09.000 All over the country and all over the world.

01:54:11.000 He really should be.

01:54:11.000 He's that good.

01:54:13.000 But because of the fact that he spent so much time writing on sitcoms, he didn't tour enough and he didn't put out enough material.

01:54:20.000 Like, he only has one CD out.

01:54:21.000 He's been doing comedy as long as me.

01:54:23.000 Ian Edwards and I started doing comedy together in 1990. That's when I met him.

01:54:28.000 I met him in 19-fucking-90 or 91 in New York.

01:54:31.000 And I've known him forever.

01:54:33.000 That's when I made my first video was 1990. Wow.

01:54:37.000 Yeah.

01:54:38.000 That's a long time, man. 1.00

01:54:39.000 Fuck yeah, dude. 0.99

01:54:40.000 But, yeah, my thoughts are that we should, I mean, if you like, like, everybody gets into comedy because they love it, right? 1.00

01:54:47.000 That's why you get into it.

01:54:48.000 You want, you want to watch, you know, you see a guy like, you know, Dice Clay or Kinison or Pryor or whoever it is that inspired you, and you see them, Kevin Hart, you know, name your person.

01:54:59.000 You see them and you want to be like, wow, that was awesome.

01:55:01.000 I want to see that guy again.

01:55:03.000 You know, and you want to go see comedy.

01:55:04.000 And that's why I got into it.

01:55:06.000 To get into it and then all of a sudden to want to be the only one who's funny is crazy to me.

01:55:11.000 It doesn't even make any sense.

01:55:12.000 And to not like the other comedians, it's just like you're robbing yourself of inspiration.

01:55:17.000 But there's a lot of comics like that.

01:55:18.000 They won't watch the other comedians.

01:55:20.000 They don't want to see them.

01:55:21.000 And when the comics are doing good, they get upset.

01:55:24.000 You know?

01:55:24.000 They're like, light them early, light them early.

01:55:26.000 Like, I've seen people say that before.

01:55:28.000 It's totally a question of being insecure.

01:55:31.000 It definitely is.

01:55:32.000 It's also...

01:55:33.000 I think it's a famine mindset.

01:55:36.000 And the famine mindset is this mindset, like, there can only be one.

01:55:40.000 Like, you can only be...

01:55:41.000 It can only all come to me.

01:55:42.000 It has to all come to me.

01:55:43.000 Like, no one else can...

01:55:44.000 But it's no...

01:55:45.000 What was that Snoop Dogg song?

01:55:47.000 It's no fun if the homies can't have some? 1.00

01:55:50.000 But it's true.

01:55:51.000 You don't want to be the only one who's doing well.

01:55:54.000 That's crazy.

01:55:55.000 It's just not a good thinking.

01:55:56.000 It's not a good way of thinking, rather.

01:55:58.000 Right. 0.99

01:55:58.000 And fuck, I'm excited for Anaheim. 0.99

01:56:02.000 Oh, you're going to have a good time. 0.99

01:56:03.000 It's a great card, too, as it stands right now.

01:56:07.000 There's a lot of issues getting these cards to actually play out, because guys get injured.

01:56:14.000 Or they get disqualified, or...

01:56:16.000 Yeah, but I mean, when you're getting to...

01:56:18.000 Yeah, they get caught doing something, but...

01:56:20.000 Yeah, I watched that...

01:56:21.000 Sorry for interrupting that. 0.99

01:56:22.000 I watched that Hurt Business documentary on Netflix with Daniel Cormier, the fucking... 0.98

01:56:28.000 With his knee injury and he's trying to get healthy again. 1.00

01:56:31.000 Fuck, that documentary is intense. 0.99

01:56:33.000 I haven't seen it. 1.00

01:56:34.000 You've got to watch it, dude.

01:56:36.000 It's so incredible. 0.87

01:56:38.000 Almost like the focus of it is, we're going to spotlight a number of these personalities from the UFC and really show just how fucking tragic it is. 0.97

01:56:47.000 They put so much into it and then they have their careers for whatever it's worth and then when it's all said and done, they just got nothing to fucking show for it. 0.98

01:56:56.000 It's just so fucking tragic. 0.96

01:56:58.000 Well, you can't think that you're going to have something to show for it. 0.97

01:57:01.000 That's the thing.

01:57:02.000 If you're lucky and you become a Conor McGregor, who's like one in a million, or you become, you know, a George St. Pierre who retires as the champion, you're really, really unusual.

01:57:12.000 But for everyone else, you have to do it because you love doing it.

01:57:14.000 Of course.

01:57:15.000 And if you do it because you love doing it and that's what you want to do, then you should do it.

01:57:18.000 And you will bank a lot of money if you're successful.

01:57:20.000 But there's this thing that people have where they see a guy like Floyd Mayweather and they say, well, hey...

01:57:27.000 Boxers make millions of dollars.

01:57:29.000 Look, Floyd Mayweather made hundreds of millions of dollars.

01:57:31.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:57:32.000 Floyd Mayweather makes hundreds of millions of dollars, not boxers.

01:57:36.000 Like, Gernati Golovkin, who's one of the best boxers in the world, he can't even sell 200,000 pay-per-views.

01:57:42.000 Like, his last pay-per-view buy, I think, was like 150,000, which is insanely low, to the point where, like, it's very difficult for promoters to even get behind him unless he's fighting someone like Canelo Alvarez, which is his next fight.

01:57:55.000 Well, he'll make some money in that fight, but guarantee you he ain't making very good money, like with 150,000 pay-per-views, and he's a multiple-time world champion, and like a fantastic amateur fighter, and one of the best in the world.

01:58:09.000 It's about being a star, and a promoter is not responsible to give a fighter a bunch of money if they're not earning a bunch of money.

01:58:17.000 It's a business, and the business is people want to pay to see you.

01:58:20.000 Why do they want to see you? 0.95

01:58:21.000 Do they want to see you because you trash talk?

01:58:23.000 Or do they want to see you because you're Anderson Silva and you fight like you're in The Matrix? 0.96

01:58:27.000 Or do they want to see you because you're Ronda Rousey and you're the first ever woman ass kicker that we've ever seen like this? 1.00

01:58:32.000 Well, whatever reason it is that they want to see you, that reason is why you can make a shit ton of money. 0.96

01:58:38.000 It's not that you just deserve a shit ton of money because it's hard to do. 0.66

01:58:42.000 Right, of course.

01:58:43.000 But a lot of people get that wrong in their head.

01:58:46.000 They get that wrong in their head.

01:58:47.000 Well, it's show business, but it's also athletics.

01:58:50.000 So it's a very bizarre combination of two worlds.

01:58:53.000 Do you think that Conor McGregor is doing a disservice to himself by putting so much attention on, like just putting his whole UFC career on hold for this Mayweather thing?

01:59:03.000 No.

01:59:04.000 Because, ultimately, he can only fight for so long, and he stands to win, like, who knows how much money.

01:59:10.000 I mean, he can make...

01:59:11.000 It could be as much as $100 million for the fight.

01:59:14.000 It's going to be insane.

01:59:15.000 Asking a guy to pass up on the opportunity to make $100 million is kind of crazy.

01:59:19.000 That said, he's fighting, you know, boxing...

01:59:22.000 You're saying if he wins, what if he loses?

01:59:23.000 No, no, no.

01:59:24.000 It doesn't matter.

01:59:24.000 He's not...

01:59:25.000 The way boxing works is you get a purse. 0.98

01:59:29.000 The way UFC works is different and often criticized, and I think rightly so, is that you have a win money and a show money.

01:59:37.000 So, say if you were going to fight Jamie and they set it up where you fight, you make $50,000 to show and then another $50,000 if you win.

01:59:46.000 A lot of people have a real hard time with that.

01:59:48.000 And I think they should, because you're doing your best.

01:59:51.000 You're giving your best performance, regardless of whether or not you win.

01:59:54.000 No one's going to fight harder, I don't think, at least, to get that win bonus.

01:59:59.000 These guys are trying to win. 0.99

02:00:00.000 They're fucking gladiators. 0.99

02:00:01.000 I think you should have a purse, and that should be what you get paid, and you fight your best. 0.99

02:00:06.000 And that's what you get paid.

02:00:08.000 This idea that double is going to come your way if you get the judges' nod. 0.99

02:00:14.000 Meanwhile, the judges get shit wrong all the time.

02:00:19.000 Future, like, have $50,000 or $100,000, or who knows what the number is, on the line due to someone else's interpretation of it, or you can get injured and wind up losing, or anything can happen. 0.99

02:00:29.000 Like, I think that's kind of fucked up. 0.72

02:00:31.000 The thing about the Conor McGregor-Floyd Mayweather fight... 0.98

02:00:33.000 Well, I mean, if it's tennis, you get the money if you win.

02:00:37.000 Yeah, but that's different.

02:00:38.000 First of all, it's not a fight.

02:00:39.000 Because you can play a tennis match every weekend.

02:00:42.000 Try fighting every weekend.

02:00:43.000 You'd be dead in a month.

02:00:45.000 Like here it is.

02:00:46.000 U.S. President, yeah, they agreed to sign a deal with Floyd Mayweather.

02:00:48.000 That doesn't mean anything.

02:00:49.000 Because Floyd Mayweather hasn't agreed to it.

02:00:51.000 The deal hasn't been negotiated.

02:00:52.000 Conor has agreed.

02:00:54.000 So that's what that means.

02:00:55.000 But here's the deal.

02:00:56.000 Let's be honest about this as much as possible.

02:00:58.000 This is a boxing match between Conor McGregor, a guy who's never had a real professional boxing match, who's a really good amateur boxer in Ireland, who's a real multiple-division world champion combat sports fighter, no doubt about that, and a striker, no doubt about that, but he's fighting one of the best boxers,

02:01:16.000 if not the best boxer ever.

02:01:19.000 Most likely, this is not going to work out well for him, if you had to guess.

02:01:24.000 That's my honest take on it. 0.96

02:01:26.000 The only way it could work out well is if Floyd takes him lightly, Conor clips him, Conor mugs him, Conor does some old school Bernard Hopkins shit, just ties him up, roughs him up inside the clinch, hits him with some real hard shots, or does something fucked up to him. 0.95

02:01:43.000 I mean, who knows? 0.97

02:01:43.000 Headbuts him. 0.97

02:01:44.000 I mean, that's what Victor Ortiz tried to do to him.

02:01:46.000 I guess you can also say that...

02:01:49.000 That he doesn't really stand there.

02:01:51.000 It's a win-win for Conor.

02:01:52.000 Because if he loses, of course he was going to lose.

02:01:54.000 Yeah.

02:01:55.000 And also, Floyd is not a vicious puncher.

02:01:59.000 Floyd's not Canelo.

02:02:00.000 He used to be.

02:02:00.000 No, he never was.

02:02:01.000 You don't think?

02:02:01.000 No.

02:02:02.000 No, he never was.

02:02:02.000 He is an amazing boxer.

02:02:05.000 But he has very brittle hands.

02:02:06.000 He breaks his hands a lot.

02:02:08.000 And he can knock you out, like he knocked out Victor Ortiz, but he knocked out Victor Ortiz because he's just standing in front of him.

02:02:13.000 He knocked out Ricky Hatton, who was a smaller fighter, but he doesn't knock out most guys.

02:02:17.000 He stuns them, he sticks them with some hard shots, but Conor's got a really good chin and he's a much bigger guy.

02:02:23.000 So the odds are, even if Conor gets worked, he's just going to get outboxed for 12 rounds and get embarrassed and just whiff at a bunch of punches and Floyd's not going to be anywhere near him.

02:02:33.000 Or, he can catch him.

02:02:35.000 I mean, it is possible that he can catch him, but it's not likely.

02:02:38.000 Like, the odds are going to be huge in Floyd Mayweather's favor.

02:02:43.000 If I had a guess, it's going to be like 20 to 1 or something crazy like that.

02:02:47.000 I'm not an odds maker.

02:02:49.000 But I do know movement, and I know boxing, and there's just a big difference between what a guy like Floyd Mayweather can do and a guy like Conor can do when it comes to the actual boxing skills.

02:03:01.000 But there's also another factor, too, that Conor has been fighting with small gloves, and he's going to be fighting with larger gloves.

02:03:08.000 What size gloves do they agree on for the fight?

02:03:10.000 If Floyd's smart, he's going to make him fight with 10-ounce gloves, you know, because probably Conor will want to wear 8. I don't know what weight class they have the cutoff in.

02:03:19.000 Like, lighter weight classes, they use 8-ounce gloves, and heavier, they use 10-ounce gloves.

02:03:26.000 That was a stipulation in the Marvin Hagler or Sugar Ray Leonard fight.

02:03:29.000 Sugar Ray Leonard wanted the bigger gloves, wanted heavier gloves because he's fighting a big, heavy puncher like Hagler.

02:03:34.000 So they might make some sort of a decision to go with larger gloves. 0.66

02:03:38.000 But Floyd's a fucking 49-0, multiple-division world boxing champion, and Conor has never had a professional boxing fight. 0.96

02:03:49.000 That's really what it is. 0.97

02:03:50.000 It's interesting.

02:03:51.000 I mean, I want to see it.

02:03:52.000 Don't make no mistake about it. 0.99

02:03:53.000 When the fucking first bell rings, I'll have my popcorn ready, bro. 0.99

02:03:57.000 Well, you'll probably be right there. 0.99

02:03:59.000 I don't think so.

02:04:00.000 No, I think I'll be home.

02:04:01.000 Yeah, I think I'll be watching that from home.

02:04:04.000 I think whoever does commentary on that is going to be probably boxing people.

02:04:08.000 It's like if you had Max Kellerman and Jim Lampley doing commentary on Floyd Mayweather fighting Conor McGregor in an MMA fight, I think that would be an embarrassment. 0.87

02:04:17.000 That would be ridiculous. 0.74

02:04:19.000 Just as ridiculous as it would be for me to do commentary on Conor fighting Floyd in a boxing match. 0.60

02:04:25.000 Unless they wanted to have a combination of an MMA judge or an MMA commentator and a boxing commentator.

02:04:33.000 Maybe.

02:04:33.000 Perhaps.

02:04:34.000 I would do it with Max Kellerman.

02:04:35.000 I'm a big fan of that guy.

02:04:36.000 I like that guy a lot.

02:04:37.000 I think that would be kind of interesting.

02:04:38.000 But most likely I'll be at home watching it.

02:04:42.000 I'd like to see it live, maybe.

02:04:44.000 Maybe sit ringside.

02:04:45.000 Maybe kind of interesting to see that.

02:04:47.000 It's going to be a crazy interesting experience to see what Conor can do.

02:04:51.000 And I know he's been working almost exclusively on his boxing for months and months and months in preparation for this. 0.99

02:04:59.000 Here's the thing, that motherfucker can put you into orbit with one punch. 0.99

02:05:02.000 That's a fact. 0.99

02:05:03.000 You know, like, if you look at this past weekend, it's a perfect example when I said about Eddie Alvarez and Dustin Poirier having this crazy war.

02:05:11.000 Conor murked both of those guys with one punch.

02:05:15.000 With, I mean, with Eddie, he softened him up with a few punches before he murked him, but he had him on Queer Street with one punch, and he murked Dustin Poirier with one punch. 0.98

02:05:25.000 I mean, he's just, he hits Fucking hard.

02:05:29.000 This is this guy, Farras Ahab, he's a very famous MMA coach, and he said it best. 0.98

02:05:33.000 He said, Connor has a touch of death.

02:05:35.000 Like, he just... 1.00

02:05:36.000 He just fucking... 0.99

02:05:37.000 He just blaps dudes and zaps them with ridiculous speed and accuracy. 1.00

02:05:43.000 And when he does, you're fucksville. 0.99

02:05:45.000 The question is whether or not he's going to be able to do that to Floyd motherfucking Mayweather. 0.98

02:05:51.000 And most likely, Floyd's going to be nowhere near him when those punches come flying. 0.96

02:05:56.000 I mean, he's a wizard.

02:05:57.000 You ever watch, like, Floyd May with a defensive highlight reel?

02:06:01.000 Well, it's just him kind of running backwards?

02:06:03.000 No, him just moving away from punches, bending at the hips.

02:06:06.000 He's not a runner.

02:06:07.000 See, people think that Floyd's a runner.

02:06:09.000 Floyd doesn't run.

02:06:10.000 He's not, like, running away from guys.

02:06:11.000 He stands right in front of dudes.

02:06:13.000 He stands right in front of dudes and maybe backs up slightly or moves to the side.

02:06:17.000 But he's just so knowledgeable when it comes to boxing.

02:06:21.000 He has such a...

02:06:23.000 Deep understanding of where to be at the right time and where the punches can come from.

02:06:27.000 The left comes from here, that means the right's coming this way, and he's nowhere near that. 0.98

02:06:31.000 He's over here, and that means after the right, look at, like, when you stand in front of him, when you watch him, the way he's able to, like, slide out of the way of shit, I mean, dudes just don't fucking hit him very often.

02:06:43.000 He's been hit least or less than any world champion that's had 49 fights.

02:06:50.000 I would say that he probably has the most successful defensive career in the history of boxing.

02:06:57.000 I mean, he's literally been tagged hard maybe five, six times in his entire career.

02:07:03.000 And he stands in front of some of the best fighters in the world, like Canelo Alvarez.

02:07:07.000 I mean, Canelo was younger then.

02:07:08.000 It was a few years ago, and Canelo wasn't as good as he is now.

02:07:12.000 But he just stands right in front of guys and pops them in the face and just understands how to move. 1.00

02:07:17.000 Like, that kind of shit. 1.00

02:07:18.000 Like, when you're watching this highlight reel, you're watching a master. 1.00

02:07:22.000 Like, young fighters...

02:07:23.000 They should watch his defensive movements and abilities, I think, almost above all others, except now this new guy, Vasily Lomachenko, who I think rivals anybody that's ever lived in terms of his movement, his ability to move, and his positioning and footwork.

02:07:39.000 I think he's as good as it's ever been.

02:07:42.000 But, you know, he has only got like nine professional fights or something like that.

02:07:46.000 He just hasn't really...

02:07:47.000 Look, look at this. 0.99

02:07:49.000 Oscar De La Hoya standing right in front of him and he can't fucking hit him. 0.99

02:07:51.000 He's throwing all these punches. 0.98

02:07:52.000 Look at that.

02:07:53.000 Juan Manuel Marquez, he pops him and just, whoop, slides right out of the way.

02:07:57.000 Sorry, not here.

02:08:00.000 And unbelievable work ethic.

02:08:02.000 Like Floyd Mayweather will go to a club, go to a nightclub in Vegas, hang out, drink water, hang out with everybody, get all the accolades.

02:08:09.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Floyd, Bobby, Mayweather's in the house!

02:08:13.000 Light some $100 bills.

02:08:14.000 Everybody goes crazy, light some $100 bills.

02:08:16.000 Then you know what he does?

02:08:17.000 People will drive his Rolls Royce and he'll run.

02:08:19.000 He'll run the Vegas Strip.

02:08:21.000 He'll run miles. 0.99

02:08:22.000 And then go to the gym 3 o'clock in the morning and do fucking 15 rounds in the heavy bag. 1.00

02:08:26.000 He's an animal. 0.99

02:08:27.000 I mean, his work ethic and his mind and his determination and focus.

02:08:31.000 And I guarantee you, man, if he's getting ready for Floyd Mayweather or is getting ready for Conor McGregor, he's going to be in tip-top shape again, man.

02:08:40.000 He's never going to come in slipping.

02:08:42.000 It's going to be fun.

02:08:44.000 Why has he got to be so... 1.00

02:08:45.000 Such a dick? 1.00

02:08:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:08:47.000 Because that's how he made all that money.

02:08:48.000 It's because of what we were talking about before.

02:08:50.000 The show business.

02:08:51.000 The show business aspect of it is having people...

02:08:54.000 He used to be Pretty Boy Floyd Mayweather.

02:08:56.000 That's what they used to call him.

02:08:57.000 But he wasn't really making any money. 0.99

02:08:59.000 You know, he became rich when he became Floyd Money Mayweather, when he started talking and all this shit, and then people wanted him to get his ass kicked. 1.00

02:09:06.000 And he wasn't getting his ass kicked. 0.99

02:09:07.000 Like, people are paying to see him not necessarily because they like him. 1.00

02:09:11.000 They're paying to see him because they want to see him get fucked up because he's a huge star. 0.99

02:09:15.000 And he became a huge star by fucking with people, talking a lot of shit, talking about how great he is, showing all of his watches and all of his jewelry. 1.00

02:09:24.000 He's got this crazy house in Vegas. 1.00

02:09:27.000 It's really the controversy, like domestic violence.

02:09:30.000 Dude went to jail for beating up girls.

02:09:33.000 There's a lot of controversy involved in him.

02:09:36.000 And that's one of the reasons why people wanted to see him fight.

02:09:38.000 They wanted to see him lose.

02:09:40.000 Uh-huh.

02:09:42.000 He didn't lose.

02:09:43.000 He went all the way to the bank.

02:09:44.000 I mean, he tied Rocky Marciano's record for having the most successful fights ever.

02:09:50.000 49-0 as a champion.

02:09:52.000 That's unheard of.

02:09:53.000 Unheard of. 1.00

02:09:53.000 And Rocky Marciano's record is a little bullshit. 1.00

02:09:56.000 Because Rocky Marciano, Italians right now are going crazy. 1.00

02:09:59.000 What the fuck are you saying? 1.00

02:10:01.000 Rocky's the best! 0.99

02:10:02.000 It's pretty much agreed that Rocky Marciano fought his brother in at least one fight early in his career.

02:10:09.000 So it was like a fake fight.

02:10:12.000 Pull that up.

02:10:13.000 See if that's been validated.

02:10:17.000 I'm pretty sure I've read that.

02:10:19.000 That Rocky Marciano had like a fixed fight with his brother.

02:10:23.000 Back in the day, you know, like a guy like Rocky Marciano was a murderous puncher.

02:10:27.000 It's probably like he would show up for a fight and people didn't want to fight him.

02:10:30.000 And like the people that paid to see him, like, what are we going to do?

02:10:32.000 Like, yeah, my brother will get in there.

02:10:34.000 So his brother gets in there and goes down to a body shot or something.

02:10:37.000 I don't know.

02:10:38.000 I don't know how it played out, but...

02:10:41.000 We're lucky we're not in that business, dude.

02:10:43.000 You think you have brain damage? 0.73

02:10:44.000 Right. 0.99

02:10:44.000 You know, from Tim Kennedy dropping you on your head? 0.99

02:10:47.000 How about just getting thudded in the head by some of the best fighters in the world?

02:10:52.000 I think I'm in pretty good shape with all that.

02:10:54.000 You seem fine.

02:10:55.000 Yeah, thanks, man.

02:10:56.000 Look, Anthony Rumble Johnson, who's one of the best fighters in the world, just retired, and he did an interview recently.

02:11:02.000 And today, the interview came out where he said brain damage is a big concern.

02:11:06.000 He's the guy who gives everybody brain damage.

02:11:09.000 Have you ever seen Rumble fight?

02:11:10.000 Mm-hmm.

02:11:11.000 The most terrifying knockout artist in MMA, in my opinion.

02:11:14.000 And he retired because he's worried about someone doing that to him.

02:11:17.000 He's like, I don't want brain damage.

02:11:19.000 He's like, I want other things in my life.

02:11:21.000 It's also interesting because he's one of the best fighters in the world.

02:11:24.000 And he said, I'm not really a fighter.

02:11:25.000 He goes, I'm an athlete who's really good at fighting.

02:11:28.000 Which I thought was fascinating.

02:11:29.000 Because it shows so much awareness.

02:11:31.000 It shows what a smart guy he is.

02:11:32.000 That he's really kind of aware of who he is. 1.00

02:11:36.000 Fuck yeah, dude. 1.00

02:11:38.000 So, Anaheim, you're there. 1.00

02:11:40.000 I'm so psyched.

02:11:41.000 It's a good one, too.

02:11:41.000 I hope nobody fucks up before the fight.

02:11:44.000 They almost got in a brawl this past weekend.

02:11:46.000 You should check out that show, The Hurt Business.

02:11:49.000 This past weekend, Daniel Cormier hit Jon Jones in the face with a water bottle at a press conference.

02:11:53.000 Right, I saw that on TMZ. And Jon tried to chuck one at him, and they almost brawled.

02:11:57.000 What's up with the water bottles at the press conferences?

02:12:00.000 Well, now they drain the Monster Energy cans, so when you see those Monster Energy drinks that are sitting there on the dais, those are fake.

02:12:07.000 They're real Monster Energy drinks, but they have to drink them all or empty them out before they get up there.

02:12:12.000 Right.

02:12:15.000 It's so exciting.

02:12:16.000 Oh, it's so exciting. 0.99

02:12:17.000 And just this Jon Jones, that was so interesting, that press conference where Jon Jones is talking all positive, like, no, I want to show that you can get back on your feet, and this, and then Cormier says, wait, hold on a second, backstage you told me I'm the biggest pussy you ever saw. 0.98

02:12:34.000 And then they, that was fascinating the way that played out. 0.97

02:12:37.000 Well, John is starting to come clean now.

02:12:39.000 He's starting to be more of himself.

02:12:40.000 This past weekend, they had a press conference. 0.99

02:12:42.000 And he said that he was fucking doing cocaine all weekend long before he beat him. 0.99

02:12:46.000 Well, Daniel Cormier said, Daniel was talking all this shit, is this fight even gonna happen? 0.99

02:12:51.000 Who knows? 1.00

02:12:51.000 If John gets caught doing cocaine or sandblasting a prostitute. 1.00

02:12:56.000 What is sandblasting a prostitute? 1.00

02:12:57.000 I don't know, but it's hilarious.

02:12:59.000 It's a hilarious term. 1.00

02:13:01.000 Daniel's funny, man.

02:13:03.000 I did commentary with him this past weekend.

02:13:05.000 Right, I saw that too. 0.99

02:13:05.000 He's a funny fucking dude, man. 0.99

02:13:07.000 I saw that on your IG story. 0.99

02:13:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:13:10.000 And so anyway, when John said that, I beat you after I did cocaine for a weekend. 1.00

02:13:16.000 Everybody was like, oh shit! 0.99

02:13:18.000 It's like, I like that John is being himself. 1.00

02:13:21.000 That'll serve him better than all this fake shit. 0.97

02:13:25.000 Right, it's fake like, I'm just a good guy and I want to be uplifting. 1.00

02:13:29.000 Yeah, well he does want to be uplifting too, but when it comes to like actual fighting, he's a fucking straight-up killer. 1.00

02:13:37.000 Jon Jones is a killer. 0.99

02:13:38.000 That's, I mean, you don't get to be the youngest ever UFC champion if you're not a killer. 0.95

02:13:43.000 He got, he showed up, he fought Mauricio Shogun Hua in his UFC title fight, who is like a legend in Brazil.

02:13:51.000 His opening move was a flying knee. 0.95

02:13:53.000 He threw a flying knee on Mauricio Shogun Hua.

02:13:57.000 That is just crazy!

02:13:58.000 I mean, you have to be such a gangster to even think about doing that to a guy like that.

02:14:02.000 You're not feeling him out. 0.99

02:14:04.000 He just leaped in and threw a fucking flying knee at Shogun's face. 1.00

02:14:07.000 And caught him! 1.00

02:14:09.000 And beat his ass and stopped him when he was like 22. Won the world title. 1.00

02:14:14.000 It was bananas.

02:14:15.000 You know, John was something special and still is.

02:14:18.000 But it's gonna, you know, it's gonna be a long, tough fight with him and Cormier this time, I think.

02:14:24.000 It's gonna be fun.

02:14:25.000 I can't wait, dude.

02:14:25.000 You're gonna be there.

02:14:26.000 I can't wait.

02:14:26.000 Yeah, I just hope the card doesn't fall apart.

02:14:28.000 You know, cards fall apart.

02:14:29.000 It's so hard to get through a camp without getting injured.

02:14:32.000 Like, we're in danger of losing TJ Dillashaw versus Cody Garbrandt for the Bantamweight title.

02:14:38.000 Cody Garbrandt. 0.98

02:14:39.000 Cody Garbrandt right now is in Germany getting some shit done to his back. 0.95

02:14:44.000 He's getting Regenikine done on his back to deal with a bulging disc that's been bothering him. 0.91

02:14:49.000 After that last fight, I followed him on Twitter, Cody, and then he followed me back.

02:14:55.000 Oh, that's cool.

02:14:56.000 That's dope. 0.93

02:14:56.000 Such a strikingly handsome guy. 0.93

02:14:58.000 Very handsome.

02:14:59.000 Beautiful man. 1.00

02:15:01.000 Bad motherfucker, too. 1.00

02:15:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:15:02.000 Bad motherfucker. 1.00

02:15:03.000 Fuck, that was a great... 1.00

02:15:04.000 That was the best fighter that night. 1.00

02:15:05.000 Dominic Cruz?

02:15:06.000 Him and Dominic Cruz?

02:15:07.000 Yeah.

02:15:07.000 Well, not only that, but he's fighting a guy who was consensus top two or three pound-for-pound fighter in the world in Dominic Cruz, and he still lit him up.

02:15:15.000 Yeah, that's a big fight.

02:15:17.000 And the bravado.

02:15:19.000 Yeah, oh yeah. 1.00

02:15:20.000 Oh yeah, he was breakdancing and shit. 0.98

02:15:23.000 Improvising after he dropped him and knocked him down. 0.99

02:15:25.000 He was like posing.

02:15:26.000 Right.

02:15:27.000 He could have finished him, but he was too busy dancing.

02:15:30.000 I don't know about that.

02:15:30.000 I mean, if he thought he could have finished him, he would have tried to finish him.

02:15:34.000 He realized that Dom was hurt and stunned.

02:15:35.000 You want to humiliate him. 1.00

02:15:36.000 He wanted to fuck with his head. 1.00

02:15:38.000 Because Dominic Cruz's whole game, a big part of it was getting inside your head. 1.00

02:15:42.000 But he fucked with the wrong guy. 1.00

02:15:43.000 Because Cody grew up getting fucked with. 1.00

02:15:46.000 So you start fucking with him. 1.00

02:15:47.000 He's like, oh, I'm home here. 1.00

02:15:49.000 I like fucking with people. 1.00

02:15:50.000 Come on, fuck with me. 1.00

02:15:51.000 I'll fuck with you. 1.00

02:15:52.000 If you want to be... 1.00

02:15:53.000 Like, reasonable and respectful.

02:15:56.000 He'll be respectful.

02:15:57.000 Cody will be respectful. 1.00

02:15:58.000 But if you want to talk shit to him, oh, he's a black belt in talking shit. 1.00

02:16:01.000 So it's like Dominic Cruz just kind of bit off more than he could chew when it came to the shit-talking and really fired Cody up. 1.00

02:16:08.000 So when Cody dropped him and then started posing him, like, then Dominic has to kind of get it back, and he couldn't get it back, so he got kind of a little bit out of his, you know, his comfort level. 0.92

02:16:17.000 It's a fascinating aspect of fighting, the trash-talking and the mental warfare. 0.99

02:16:22.000 Damn. 0.99

02:16:23.000 There's a lot to it. 1.00

02:16:25.000 Don't ever do that, dude.

02:16:26.000 Don't ever let anybody talk you into doing that.

02:16:28.000 I know Johnny Knoxville, he did that boxing match with Butterbean.

02:16:32.000 That was so hard to watch.

02:16:34.000 It was terrible. 0.99

02:16:36.000 How bad was he fucked up after that fight? 0.99

02:16:40.000 That's not the worst for Knoxville. 0.99

02:16:42.000 What is he doing these days?

02:16:44.000 Right now he's filming a movie in South Africa based on a true story about an amusement park in New Jersey called Action Park.

02:16:53.000 Which was notoriously the most dangerous amusement park.

02:16:58.000 Lots of people died on their rides. 0.99

02:17:01.000 Everybody that worked there was intoxicated and fucked up while they were working. 0.98

02:17:06.000 And they called it Class Action Park. 0.95

02:17:09.000 And so he's making a comedy movie about the guy who ran that park.

02:17:13.000 And it's set in New Jersey, but they're filming it in South Africa. 0.99

02:17:15.000 They're filming a lot of shit in South Africa. 0.99

02:17:17.000 It's so cheap to film in South Africa. 1.00

02:17:19.000 So they're building a whole fucking thing. 0.99

02:17:21.000 Russell Peters just got back from South Africa. 0.99

02:17:23.000 He was filming a new show for Netflix called The Indian Detective.

02:17:27.000 And he's filming in South Africa, I think for the same reasons.

02:17:30.000 They just film a lot of stuff in South Africa now because of that?

02:17:33.000 So cheap there.

02:17:33.000 Really?

02:17:34.000 Yeah.

02:17:34.000 I remember being there.

02:17:37.000 When we went out there for Wild Boys.

02:17:39.000 Is it dangerous?

02:17:42.000 Johannesburg is the carjacking capital of the world.

02:17:46.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:17:47.000 Which we thought was hilarious.

02:17:48.000 We were jacking off in cars the whole time.

02:17:54.000 The carjacking capital of the world.

02:17:56.000 I thought it was Camden, New Jersey.

02:17:59.000 Wasn't there like a movie on that?

02:18:01.000 Like Drive?

02:18:02.000 Wasn't there a movie about carjacking in Camden?

02:18:05.000 I feel like Camden, New Jersey...

02:18:08.000 But what do they say?

02:18:10.000 Cape Town is a first world city in a third world country, I think.

02:18:15.000 Oh, that makes sense.

02:18:18.000 And Johannesburg is more...

02:18:20.000 Johannesburg, I think, is a little gnarlier.

02:18:22.000 It's more kind of Lebanon kind of deal. 0.81

02:18:25.000 Oh, yeah?

02:18:26.000 I mean, I don't know.

02:18:27.000 That was the impression I got.

02:18:29.000 It was creepier.

02:18:31.000 I want to go to Africa, but I'm scared of malaria.

02:18:35.000 So funny, I used to dump out my malaria pills and fill up the bottle with Xanax.

02:18:40.000 What?

02:18:42.000 Yeah.

02:18:43.000 You weren't worried about malaria?

02:18:44.000 No, because the malaria pills give you terrible nightmares.

02:18:48.000 Yeah, I heard.

02:18:49.000 You get crazy hallucinations.

02:18:50.000 Yeah, I didn't like the experience of malaria pills.

02:18:53.000 What did it do for you?

02:18:54.000 Gave you nightmares? 0.97

02:18:55.000 Yeah, it gave me fucked up nightmares, if I remember right. 0.95

02:18:59.000 And I was like, oh, well, I can bring tons of pills and just put them in the wrong bottle.

02:19:03.000 And if you get malaria, then what?

02:19:05.000 Oh, I don't know.

02:19:07.000 That's another thing, man.

02:19:09.000 When I was a kid at the American School in London, like in eighth grade, we went on a field trip to Egypt. 0.99

02:19:15.000 And they told us, they said, don't fucking drink the water. 0.97

02:19:20.000 Even if you order a soda, don't let them give you ice cubes to pour because you'll get so sick from the water. 0.99

02:19:26.000 And we took it seriously.

02:19:28.000 But then we were eating outside this restaurant on the River Nile. 0.99

02:19:34.000 Here's this Egyptian dude and fucking watched him dunk a toothbrush in the River Nile. 1.00

02:19:38.000 He's sitting there brushing his teeth. 0.99

02:19:39.000 And I was thinking, well, if the fucking tap water is so bad, then what's the River Nile? 0.99

02:19:43.000 It's got to be insane. 0.99

02:19:45.000 But I remember when I was 13 and I thought, well, fuck, if that guy went to America, if that guy went to England, the toothbrush dude, he'd probably get sick drinking the water... 0.99

02:19:56.000 Where I live. 0.99

02:19:57.000 You know?

02:19:57.000 I mean, I don't know.

02:19:58.000 It's like whatever you're exposed to.

02:19:59.000 This guy's built up his immune system.

02:20:01.000 He can do that. 0.99

02:20:02.000 And I remember thinking, probably the best thing you could do would be to travel the whole world and drink fucking tap water like crazy everywhere you go. 0.97

02:20:10.000 That'd be the way to build up your immune system. 0.98

02:20:11.000 And then ultimately, that's what we did. 0.99

02:20:14.000 Wild Boys, we went to fucking every goddamn continent except Antarctica. 0.99

02:20:18.000 And I drank, the first thing I did, I'd put them from the airport, check in the hotel room, and I would put down my bag and I'd fucking... 0.99

02:20:24.000 Brush my teeth. 0.79

02:20:25.000 You know, you brush your teeth and you rinse it out and then you think, And I'd be able to put my head under the tap and just gulp, gulp, gulp, and drink a ton of tap water. 0.99

02:20:32.000 I did that all over Africa, fucking Asia, South America, everywhere. 1.00

02:20:39.000 I fucking drank tap water like a motherfucker. 1.00

02:20:41.000 Did you get sick? 1.00

02:20:42.000 I had a little bit of diarrhea in Kenya.

02:20:46.000 But I don't think that that was that big of a deal.

02:20:51.000 And I think that my theory was sound.

02:20:58.000 I like how you experiment on yourself.

02:21:00.000 It's not like you brought somebody with you.

02:21:02.000 Mike, drink the water.

02:21:03.000 Right.

02:21:03.000 No, dude.

02:21:04.000 That's why I don't understand germaphobes and shit like that. 0.99

02:21:07.000 Oh, that's crazy. 1.00

02:21:09.000 You live in an incubator.

02:21:10.000 That's how you get sick. 0.99

02:21:13.000 Like, I don't get nervous about shaking people's hands or any shit like that. 1.00

02:21:17.000 Fuck that. 1.00

02:21:17.000 That's keeping your immune system on its toes. 1.00

02:21:19.000 Yeah, no, over the course of a weekend, I'll shake hundreds of people's hands.

02:21:23.000 Sure.

02:21:24.000 You know, at a comedy show, especially if I have a meet and greet after the show, which I didn't do in Dallas this past weekend, but for people that are asking, I can't... 0.96

02:21:33.000 The size of that crowd was fucking unbelievable. 0.95

02:21:35.000 6,000 people. 0.99

02:21:35.000 I can't do it. 0.99

02:21:37.000 Congratulations, Joe.

02:21:38.000 Thanks, man. 0.98

02:21:38.000 That was fucking cool. 0.98

02:21:39.000 Thank you. 0.97

02:21:39.000 It was fun. 0.97

02:21:40.000 Fucking awesome. 0.94

02:21:41.000 I just saw this morning on your tour. 0.97

02:21:44.000 God, I'm jealous of your tour schedule to go like three days and then I'm home.

02:21:47.000 That's how I do it.

02:21:48.000 I can't do it.

02:21:49.000 I have kids.

02:21:50.000 I don't want to do it any other way.

02:21:51.000 I do two days out, come back.

02:21:54.000 Burt Kreischer's schedule?

02:21:56.000 Oh, he's crazy. 0.99

02:21:56.000 It's fucking hilarious. 0.99

02:21:58.000 Well, Burt Kreischer would go and do things on the road for months at a time. 0.98

02:22:02.000 Well, yeah. 0.99

02:22:02.000 I mean, not months at a time for the entire fucking year. 0.99

02:22:05.000 The guy's never home. 0.99

02:22:07.000 Well, for his television show, it was real bad.

02:22:09.000 But he's not doing that television show anymore, which I think is great because it allows him to concentrate on his stand-up, which is another thing.

02:22:15.000 That was kind of his honeypot, was his travel channel show, where it was kind of taken away from his stand-up.

02:22:21.000 But now his stand-up is blowing up because he's really focusing on it.

02:22:24.000 He's doing it a lot, touring a lot, and now people are getting a chance.

02:22:27.000 And it's tighter, too. 0.85

02:22:29.000 You see him on stage, it's fucking super tight because he's performing a lot. 0.86

02:22:33.000 Whereas he would go a long time without performing because he'd be... 0.99

02:22:37.000 Doing all this crazy shit on the road, which he enjoyed. 0.86

02:22:41.000 I love him too. 0.99

02:22:43.000 I did his podcast and we had a blast and he really encouraged me.

02:22:47.000 He's like, man, go to the store, go to the store.

02:22:50.000 I've been going to the store a lot and he encouraged me to do that.

02:22:54.000 That's awesome.

02:22:55.000 I just think it's funny how you say that His stand-up suffered because of the Travel Channel show, but now he's on the road every day out of the year.

02:23:03.000 It's like, where does his family fit in?

02:23:05.000 Well, he's not really.

02:23:06.000 I mean, he's home during the weekdays a lot.

02:23:08.000 It's weekends.

02:23:09.000 Well, yeah, but he's on the comedy club grind, so that means you...

02:23:12.000 But that's at night.

02:23:12.000 The way it works with me, my kids are asleep by the time I leave the house.

02:23:16.000 Right.

02:23:16.000 Because my sets at the comedy store are always like 10, 15. I put my kids to bed at 8, and then I'll go over my material real quick and head out the door.

02:23:23.000 And then, you know, it's like I have another life.

02:23:25.000 You know, I have a nighttime life.

02:23:27.000 It's it's doable. 0.99

02:23:28.000 It's doable, but the travel's a fucking grind, man. 0.99

02:23:32.000 It's so gnarly. 0.99

02:23:33.000 It's so bad for your body.

02:23:34.000 I'm not touring as much as I did the last few years.

02:23:37.000 Now I'm like week on week off, you know?

02:23:40.000 Yeah.

02:23:40.000 Week on week off is a way to do it.

02:23:43.000 Two weekends out of the month is enough.

02:23:45.000 It's more than enough.

02:23:46.000 Because like if I come home like yesterday, I was wrecked when I come home.

02:23:50.000 Just for the weekend of traveling and then the flight. 0.97

02:23:53.000 And it's not a fucking long flight. 0.91

02:23:55.000 Dallas is only like two and a half hours or something. 0.96

02:23:57.000 It's nothing.

02:23:58.000 But you get home and you're like, ugh.

02:24:00.000 It's so dragging.

02:24:02.000 But what you've got to do is work out.

02:24:03.000 That's the key.

02:24:04.000 When you get home from something like that, go on a hike, do something to get your metabolism pumped up, and then you'll feel normal.

02:24:11.000 But it's the only way to feel normal.

02:24:13.000 If you feel jet-lagged, a lot of people just like to lay around and do nothing.

02:24:16.000 Right.

02:24:16.000 You can't do that.

02:24:17.000 You've got to kick-start your body.

02:24:19.000 You've just got to blow out all the carbon.

02:24:21.000 Yeah, you can meditate too, man.

02:24:23.000 That'll help too.

02:24:24.000 That'll help too. 0.98

02:24:25.000 Don't worry about people fucking with you, Steve-O. I know, dude. 0.99

02:24:29.000 Thanks for setting me straight like that.

02:24:31.000 No problem, man. 0.99

02:24:32.000 Now I find myself and say, why the fuck did I talk about hookers so much? 1.00

02:24:38.000 You didn't. 0.99

02:24:38.000 I know. 0.99

02:24:39.000 I mean, whatever. 0.99

02:24:40.000 The hooker stories were so fucking ancient. 1.00

02:24:42.000 I don't even care. 0.99

02:24:42.000 It's just that I have a girlfriend now. 0.99

02:24:44.000 And, you know, I'm really...

02:24:45.000 She's just a wonderful, wonderful person.

02:24:47.000 And I'd hate for...

02:24:48.000 Hard to feel bad.

02:24:49.000 I'd hate for her to be negatively impacted.

02:24:52.000 I'm not saying anything.

02:24:53.000 Who cares? 0.98

02:24:53.000 I'll go and tell her, hey, I told some old hooker stories. 0.98

02:24:55.000 Right. 0.96

02:24:56.000 You know, like, who cares?

02:24:57.000 You're just sensitive.

02:24:58.000 But then, yeah...

02:24:59.000 Same reason why you like to snuggle.

02:25:01.000 You're a good guy.

02:25:01.000 I really want to be good to my girl, you know?

02:25:04.000 And I really...

02:25:06.000 Care about being good to my girls.

02:25:07.000 So that's kind of in my head. 0.99

02:25:09.000 And then I'm like, why the fuck? 0.99

02:25:12.000 I'm like, I don't want to lynch Al Madrigal, but then kind of fucking... 0.99

02:25:15.000 I mean, I told the story objectively of what happened. 0.93

02:25:19.000 And I do want to... 0.99

02:25:21.000 I just want to say, don't fucking be a dick to Al Madrigal. 0.99

02:25:24.000 He's a good guy. 0.99

02:25:25.000 He gets in his own way with that stuff. 0.99

02:25:28.000 He gets in his own way, but God, he's a fucking talented guy. 0.99

02:25:31.000 Watch his special. 0.99

02:25:32.000 He's a great guy.

02:25:33.000 Give him love.

02:25:34.000 And...

02:25:35.000 Al and I have been friends since he first started doing stand-up.

02:25:38.000 I worked with him in the late 90s at Cobbs in San Francisco. 0.98

02:25:42.000 If anybody's listening and they're like, you know, maybe just throw Al a tweet and say, hey, fucking Steve-O fucking sends his love. 0.99

02:25:51.000 I really do. 0.99

02:25:52.000 I genuinely fucking do. 0.72

02:25:53.000 Good for you, dude. 0.96

02:25:54.000 Good for you.

02:25:55.000 Where can people see you if they want to go see you? 1.00

02:25:58.000 Shit, my next gig is in Salt Lake City Wiseguys. 1.00

02:26:02.000 Oh, that's a great club. 0.99

02:26:03.000 Dude, it's going to be my sixth time there.

02:26:05.000 I love it.

02:26:05.000 If I'm in the one of the Green Valley, is it called?

02:26:08.000 I don't know which one.

02:26:09.000 I'm in one of them too.

02:26:11.000 I don't know which one I'm at either.

02:26:12.000 I'm there in July.

02:26:13.000 Salt Lake City. 1.00

02:26:14.000 I love that fucking... 1.00

02:26:15.000 Salt Lake City is a great fucking place. 1.00

02:26:17.000 People have it all goofy in their head. 1.00

02:26:20.000 Salt Lake City. 0.94

02:26:21.000 Well, they have it in their head that Salt Lake City is like stuck up Mormons, but the people that come out to the comedy clubs are the people that are tired of the Mormons.

02:26:30.000 Sure.

02:26:30.000 They're fun.

02:26:31.000 Or the people that are Mormons that could take a joke. 0.96

02:26:33.000 I've done so phenomenally well there.

02:26:36.000 I really think I've been there five times, and I think I'm going back for my sixth time. 0.97

02:26:40.000 Joey Diaz was the first person to tell me, he's like, Joe Rogan, you gotta get down that fucking Salt Lake City. 1.00

02:26:44.000 He goes, those motherfuckers are starving. 1.00

02:26:46.000 They're starving for comedy. 1.00

02:26:48.000 I love it.

02:26:49.000 Yeah, that's awesome.

02:26:50.000 I love it.

02:26:50.000 And what the fuck else?

02:26:51.000 After that, I'm not even... 0.97

02:26:53.000 I can't.

02:26:55.000 Everything's at Steve-O.com.

02:26:56.000 Steve-O.com.

02:26:57.000 Yeah.

02:26:57.000 I'm excited I'm filming a cameo for this movie on Netflix called Game Over, man.

02:27:03.000 What is it?

02:27:04.000 I don't know, but I think Seth Rogen producing it.

02:27:07.000 Oh, cool.

02:27:07.000 It's a Netflix original movie.

02:27:08.000 Isn't it interesting that Netflix is doing all these original movies now, too?

02:27:11.000 Like, you keep seeing all these original movies. 0.97

02:27:13.000 What the fuck are they coming up? 0.96

02:27:14.000 I was talking to Bill Burr about how they're giving away so much millions of dollars to comedians for... 0.99

02:27:20.000 It's great.

02:27:21.000 Bill Burr was cracking up.

02:27:23.000 He's like, what a good time to get into comedy.

02:27:25.000 Yeah, it is.

02:27:26.000 It's a very good time.

02:27:27.000 Yeah.

02:27:28.000 All right.

02:27:28.000 Well, thanks, brother.

02:27:29.000 Thanks for another fun podcast.

02:27:31.000 Great time.

02:27:31.000 I appreciate you greatly.

02:27:33.000 I appreciate you too, brother. 0.99

02:27:34.000 Well, fucking thank you, dude. 0.98

02:27:35.000 Alright, we'll be back tomorrow with Graham Hancock, Michael Shermer, and Randall Carlson. 0.99

02:27:40.000 It's the big epic debate about asteroidal impacts and the end of the Ice Age and all that crazy shit. 0.92

02:27:48.000 It should be a lot of fun. 0.94

02:27:48.000 That's tomorrow, 1.30pm Pacific. 0.94

02:27:51.000 See ya!

02:27:53.000 Yeah, dude!

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 15, 2017

Joe Rogan Experience #960 - Steve-O

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Summary

Transcript