The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience - Podcast On A Plane UFC 211 Recap

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:05.000 Train by day.

00:00:06.000 Joe Rogan Podcast by night.

00:00:08.000 All day.

00:00:13.000 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the post-UFC wrap-up show with Tony Hinchcliffe.

00:00:19.000 Hey, everybody.

00:00:21.000 And me, your host, Joe Rogan.

00:00:23.000 We are on a flight right now.

00:00:27.000 Coming back from Dallas, Texas.

00:00:30.000 Sorry.

00:00:32.000 I accidentally just kicked that lady's chair where we had a great old time at the Verizon Wireless Theater on Friday night and then the UFC last night and now we're headed back.

00:00:45.000 Shout out to Ryan, the dude we had breakfast with.

00:00:47.000 Turned out to be alright.

00:00:49.000 Turned out to be an interesting guy.

00:00:50.000 I was a little worried about him at first.

00:00:52.000 Came in strong with a few too many questions.

00:00:55.000 Interrupted a little bit.

00:00:57.000 He was aggressive.

00:00:59.000 But it turned out to be a very good dude.

00:01:02.000 But you never know, man.

00:01:05.000 Just meet some strange dude, have breakfast with him.

00:01:08.000 Could be rough, but he turned out to be very cool.

00:01:11.000 I think I snapped at him, though.

00:01:13.000 I was like, what is this, a questionnaire, bro?

00:01:14.000 Relax.

00:01:16.000 But he was a good dude.

00:01:19.000 He just...

00:01:20.000 Oh, thank you, man.

00:01:24.000 The young lady's bringing us the towels.

00:01:26.000 Thank you.

00:01:27.000 She's got a crazy accent. 0.99

00:01:28.000 And I don't ever think like this, but Tony was wondering what she would sound like if she was having sex. 0.98

00:01:36.000 Yeah, anyway. 0.58

00:01:39.000 So we're on the flight back.

00:01:41.000 I've got to give up my little wet towel.

00:01:45.000 You can take them away so quickly.

00:01:48.000 You like to caress the towel?

00:01:49.000 I like to hold on to it for a little bit.

00:01:51.000 I like to feel like it cold.

00:01:52.000 It was still hot when she took it back.

00:01:55.000 What is that for?

00:01:56.000 To refresh you?

00:01:58.000 Is that the idea?

00:01:59.000 Yeah.

00:01:59.000 Or to make you know that you're not in business class or coach?

00:02:04.000 Yeah, business class, they just give you a piece of toilet paper.

00:02:08.000 Business class, they treat you almost as good, don't they?

00:02:11.000 How's that work?

00:02:13.000 No.

00:02:13.000 You haven't flown in business class in such a long time, you don't remember what it's like back there.

00:02:18.000 I flew coach just a month ago.

00:02:23.000 That's one thing, like, if you can't afford it.

00:02:25.000 It doesn't seem like it would be worth it, but what's worth it is you don't have to think about it as much.

00:02:30.000 You have more space, you can relax, you get off quicker, you get on quicker.

00:02:34.000 But people don't like it.

00:02:36.000 It's weird.

00:02:37.000 Like, people like Southwest.

00:02:39.000 I feel like it's an egalitarian airline.

00:02:41.000 You get on Southwest and, you know, everybody's the same.

00:02:46.000 Yeah, I'm not into that.

00:02:47.000 I don't like lining up by the number at all.

00:02:50.000 It's not that bad.

00:02:52.000 It's effective. 0.98

00:02:53.000 It gets people on board without too much bullshit. 0.97

00:02:55.000 I think it's a good system. 0.82

00:02:57.000 And you can occasionally get lucky to sit next to some fun people.

00:03:01.000 I met a girl over the weekend that works for Southwest, and she's like, hey, you know, you must travel a lot.

00:03:07.000 If you ever want, I can get you a discount on Southwest flights.

00:03:10.000 I'm like, eh, I'm okay.

00:03:16.000 Sometimes you have to take them, though.

00:03:19.000 JetBlue's a good airline, that JetBlue that we flew from Buffalo to New York City.

00:03:24.000 JetBlue's nice.

00:03:27.000 Yeah.

00:03:27.000 I feel like it's just, there's a thing going on where they just decided to shove as many people into a plane as possible, forget about how good the experience is.

00:03:37.000 But if you work for an airline, I'd have to imagine working for JetBlue feels better.

00:03:44.000 Than working for, like, United right now.

00:03:48.000 Everybody hates United after that dude got beat up and dragged off a plane.

00:03:52.000 Yeah, morale is low.

00:03:54.000 Must be such a bummer.

00:03:56.000 I mean, I bet flight attendants have to deal with all sorts of mean people that are snapping at them because that guy got beat up.

00:04:03.000 Right.

00:04:03.000 People start making reverse threats.

00:04:05.000 Like, oh, what are you going to do?

00:04:06.000 Drag me off of here?

00:04:08.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:04:08.000 Oh, for sure.

00:04:10.000 No, I just offered you a bag of peanuts.

00:04:12.000 Ah!

00:04:16.000 Yeah, for sure, right?

00:04:17.000 Like, what a terrible thing to see.

00:04:20.000 They decided he's already sitting down.

00:04:22.000 He's already about to fly.

00:04:24.000 I mean, and they say, nope, you got to get up.

00:04:27.000 And what's really weird is that, like, one dude made that decision.

00:04:30.000 He's just a security guy, probably for the airport, probably not specifically for United.

00:04:36.000 And he's just like, he's like, he had it with that Asian surgeon doctor guy.

00:04:42.000 He's like, you know what?

00:04:43.000 You have too much of an attitude for an Asian guy. 1.00

00:04:46.000 I'm going to drag you out of here. 1.00

00:04:47.000 Is that what happened?

00:04:49.000 I don't know if it had anything to do with the Asian guy part, but it felt like it.

00:04:54.000 I think the story was that they had some important United employees that had to be somewhere like that day.

00:05:03.000 They had to be somewhere for some sort of a meeting.

00:05:06.000 And so in their company, their idea is that these people take priority over the customer.

00:05:11.000 To the point where they, like, physically removed a customer and beat him up.

00:05:15.000 I mean, the way they grab that guy and he's screaming, like, that is crazy for someone who's done nothing.

00:05:21.000 Yeah.

00:05:22.000 And all that guy did was be a customer.

00:05:24.000 And that's, like, one of the most devastating things you could ever watch if you're, like, one of the people that's in charge of publicity for that company. 0.99

00:05:31.000 You'd be like, what the fuck did you guys do? 0.99

00:05:35.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:05:35.000 Like, oh my god, you beat that guy up and dragged him off the plane so an employee could steal his seat? 0.99

00:05:42.000 Yeah.

00:05:42.000 You're inconveniencing him.

00:05:43.000 You're saying, you're not as important as our employees.

00:05:46.000 Our employees are more important than you.

00:05:49.000 Like, that's so crazy that that's their policy.

00:05:52.000 And for it to be a doctor, like, that part's crazy too.

00:05:56.000 Is that what it was?

00:05:57.000 It was a doctor?

00:05:57.000 Yeah, it was a doctor or a dentist or something, but he had patients.

00:06:01.000 The next day.

00:06:02.000 And he's like, I have appointments.

00:06:04.000 I can't miss this flight.

00:06:05.000 My patients need me.

00:06:06.000 Man, that's so crazy.

00:06:08.000 That's so crazy.

00:06:09.000 It's just so sad.

00:06:12.000 Yeah.

00:06:12.000 It's so sad.

00:06:14.000 Especially since he paid for it.

00:06:16.000 That's some really controversial stuff.

00:06:19.000 Right.

00:06:20.000 So if you think of the morale and the way it feels to be on that airplane versus the way it feels to be on a JetBlue, you get those nice big seats, little TVs behind the seats, it's not bad at all.

00:06:31.000 Right.

00:06:31.000 It's a good ride.

00:06:33.000 It's just enough space.

00:06:34.000 Maybe not if you're a big giant person, but for a dude my size, it's just enough space.

00:06:41.000 If you had...

00:06:41.000 You met my buddy Justin.

00:06:43.000 Justin Collett in Vegas.

00:06:45.000 Yeah.

00:06:45.000 The giant.

00:06:46.000 Yeah.

00:06:46.000 He's a legit giant.

00:06:47.000 He's like seven feet tall.

00:06:49.000 It's huge.

00:06:49.000 Yeah.

00:06:50.000 Like that guy, he can't even sit in JetBlue without being...

00:06:53.000 That's...

00:06:54.000 But those are the outliers, you know?

00:06:56.000 Yeah.

00:06:59.000 JetBlue does the new flatbed red eyes.

00:07:04.000 Oh, do they?

00:07:05.000 Yeah.

00:07:06.000 I've heard about it.

00:07:07.000 It's a new thing.

00:07:10.000 Yeah man, JetBlue is a solid notch up.

00:07:15.000 Joey Diaz is a big JetBlue fan.

00:07:16.000 What is it, JetBlue airplane commercial we're doing here?

00:07:19.000 It's not what we're trying to do.

00:07:21.000 We're on Virgin right now.

00:07:22.000 Which is my favorite.

00:07:24.000 But they just got bought by Alaska, so it might be JetBlue soon.

00:07:29.000 I wonder what's going to happen. 1.00

00:07:30.000 What do I give a fuck? 1.00

00:07:32.000 It's true. 1.00

00:07:35.000 This is early morning nonsense talk with Joe and Tony.

00:07:38.000 I thought you guys were going to talk about the fights.

00:07:40.000 We will.

00:07:41.000 God, we will.

00:07:42.000 Getting there.

00:07:43.000 Warming up.

00:07:44.000 Fight before fight.

00:07:46.000 When do you think that Ioana and you will go on your first date?

00:07:49.000 I think it's going to be really soon, is my theory.

00:07:53.000 As you saw in this fight when she defended her championship, Last night. 1.00

00:07:58.000 She's very into me.

00:08:00.000 She kept looking at me.

00:08:02.000 Dude, she did keep looking at you. 1.00

00:08:04.000 Between every round, she made a point to like, you know, like, I sort of felt like her backup corner man.

00:08:10.000 She looked over at you, pointed to you, and started talking to you at one point.

00:08:14.000 Yeah.

00:08:14.000 I was like, this is crazy.

00:08:16.000 I know.

00:08:17.000 Even Joe in D.C. turned around at one point.

00:08:21.000 Like, what the hell?

00:08:22.000 And she's pointing at Tony and talking to him.

00:08:26.000 Yeah.

00:08:27.000 It's hilarious.

00:08:29.000 We inspire each other.

00:08:32.000 She was looking at me and I'm clapping.

00:08:35.000 I'm looking at her like, you got this.

00:08:37.000 You got this.

00:08:38.000 That's so crazy.

00:08:40.000 And then she was doing some sort of an interview before the fight and she said something and people were laughing and they were joking around about it.

00:08:47.000 She goes, maybe Joe Rogan and Tony Hinchcliffe will take me on the road with them.

00:08:52.000 Yes.

00:08:53.000 She's so funny.

00:08:55.000 She could do anything she wants.

00:08:57.000 The way she works, she's already funny. 0.99

00:09:01.000 Dude, she's a bad woman. 1.00

00:09:04.000 She gave her opponent a piece of cloth cut out to look like a belt It just said fantasy across the way. 0.99

00:09:12.000 So she probably did that herself, right?

00:09:14.000 Oh, totally. 1.00

00:09:15.000 She's like in the bathroom and shit at the hotel. 1.00

00:09:17.000 I'm making her fantasy bed. 1.00

00:09:19.000 Yes, exactly. 1.00

00:09:20.000 This is all you get, bitch. 1.00

00:09:23.000 This is as close. 1.00

00:09:24.000 Enjoy your piece of cloth.

00:09:27.000 But man, that girl that she fought, Jessica Andrade, what a tank. 1.00

00:09:31.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:09:31.000 That woman is a tank. 0.96

00:09:33.000 It's interesting, man.

00:09:34.000 The women in that weight class are all very tough. 1.00

00:09:37.000 And they always put up a fight up until the rounds go on.

00:09:43.000 She just doesn't get any more tired than she does.

00:09:47.000 You know what I mean?

00:09:48.000 She does, but she doesn't show it.

00:09:50.000 And those chicks all start to wear down. 1.00

00:09:52.000 You can see the slightest evidence of it in the last round.

00:09:56.000 That she was slowing down a little bit, but still, always on her feet, still moving.

00:10:01.000 Both of them, man.

00:10:03.000 They're both in phenomenal shape.

00:10:05.000 Because you gotta give it up to Andrade. 1.00

00:10:06.000 She took a fucking beating, man. 1.00

00:10:08.000 Oh yeah. 1.00

00:10:09.000 A beating and kept coming forward.

00:10:11.000 Yeah.

00:10:12.000 A lot of front leg kicks.

00:10:14.000 She absorbed those whipping little Joanna Polish iron legs. 0.95

00:10:19.000 She had to switch her stance a couple of times. 0.76

00:10:21.000 She switched back and forth.

00:10:23.000 She's getting that leg chewed up. 1.00

00:10:25.000 She got tagged with some good shots, including a few head kicks. 1.00

00:10:29.000 Yeah, a lot of head kicks, man.

00:10:31.000 At least somewhere between 5 and 10 is what I counted.

00:10:35.000 Just big snappy head ones and that front snap kick to the chest that she looks. 1.00

00:10:40.000 Just makes me cringe.

00:10:43.000 That would hurt anybody.

00:10:45.000 Yeah, it was a really interesting combination of... 1.00

00:10:48.000 Oh, Jesus, bitch. 1.00

00:10:51.000 This is... 1.00

00:10:53.000 Now you get to understand why Tony was attracted to her voice.

00:10:58.000 That's her over the line. 0.99

00:10:59.000 But it was a perfect combination of a ruthlessly powerful, attacking, determined person versus a person who maybe doesn't have as much physical power or maybe doesn't have as much pop on their shots, but is a brilliant tactician and a brilliant technician.

00:11:16.000 Her technique is so good, man.

00:11:18.000 Her footwork is so good.

00:11:19.000 She pops that jab out.

00:11:21.000 The way she, like, she, like, slips that leg kick in.

00:11:25.000 Slap! 1.00

00:11:26.000 You know, like, she's so high-level, man.

00:11:28.000 And Andrade kept trying to corner her.

00:11:30.000 She's like, no, not today.

00:11:31.000 No, we're not staying put.

00:11:33.000 We're not standing in front of you.

00:11:35.000 She never really stood in front of her.

00:11:36.000 She kept moving. 0.99

00:11:37.000 She kept moving. 0.99

00:11:38.000 She kept throwing a lot of, like, just one punches, I noticed Yolanda was. 1.00

00:11:42.000 In the first few rounds, a little bit different than the multiple combinations that I usually see her throw. 1.00

00:11:48.000 And I was gonna yell, like, Combinations!

00:11:51.000 But then I'm like, what the hell do I know?

00:11:53.000 And I just start yelling, set it up!

00:11:56.000 Set it up, Ioana!

00:11:58.000 You know what's interesting, man?

00:12:00.000 The real high-level kickboxing, like World Championship Muay Thai and Bellator and Glory and all those high-level kickboxing events you see on television, it's all three-minute rounds.

00:12:12.000 And what she's doing is she's kickboxing, like massive footwork, but she's also fighting off takedown defense, which makes you more tired, and she's adding another two minutes. 1.00

00:12:23.000 It's really interesting.

00:12:24.000 Well, I mean, if I showed you at least all the fights that I've seen, which is the last four or five whatever UFC fights, if we made a compilation of her getting taken down, Joana Janjacek, She pops right back up.

00:12:40.000 Every single time against Gedalia, against Valerie Letourneau, against everyone.

00:12:47.000 She absolutely refuses to stay down.

00:12:51.000 It's a weird mentality that my old wrestling coach I know wishes I had.

00:12:56.000 All the times he yelled at me, get up!

00:12:58.000 And it's hard.

00:13:00.000 There's a big, muscular person on your back, but she just sees through it. 0.90

00:13:04.000 She just looks at it one step at a time.

00:13:06.000 You can almost see she plants her foot, she posts up, and she stands up.

00:13:11.000 It's like she doesn't even look at it like a challenge.

00:13:15.000 She's also a superior athlete and a big part of her athleticism and in her kickboxing is her legs. 0.95

00:13:22.000 She's a big part of it is her ability to move which is like a lot of plyometric type activities and also her ability to throw power like in her leg kicks and her knees and stuff like that so her base and her legs are really strong and when you take her down she's so technical with her Muay Thai that she becomes that technical I'm sure with her grappling too so she's doing the right things and she's got a lot of power a lot of physical power with her legs she's explosive and fast her balance is sick Very, 0.86

00:13:51.000 very hard to take down.

00:13:52.000 Yeah.

00:13:53.000 And if you get her down, good luck keeping her down.

00:13:55.000 She's a little cat. 0.96

00:13:56.000 Yeah.

00:13:56.000 She's really interesting, man.

00:13:58.000 And she was in full control when the, what seemed to be the, you know, um, oh my god, how do I forget her name?

00:14:08.000 Did she just fight last night? 0.98

00:14:09.000 Jessica Andrade?

00:14:10.000 Yes, Andrade.

00:14:12.000 When Andrade would put her against the fence, She would spin.

00:14:15.000 She would put her against the fence almost immediately. 0.66

00:14:18.000 She didn't want to judge to think that she had control at all for a second.

00:14:23.000 And she didn't.

00:14:24.000 It turns out she didn't have control.

00:14:27.000 It was really interesting because she was always dangerous, though.

00:14:30.000 Even though she had control of Andrade, Andrade was still winging bombs at her.

00:14:34.000 Any one of those could shut the lights out.

00:14:36.000 That girl was so tough, man.

00:14:38.000 I'm so impressed.

00:14:40.000 I'm super impressed with Ioana because she's so skillful.

00:14:44.000 Her movement was beautiful.

00:14:45.000 And the fact that she was able to do that for 25 minutes against a marauding challenger like that.

00:14:51.000 That girl just kept coming forward, man. 1.00

00:14:54.000 She'd tag her, she kept coming forward. 0.99

00:14:56.000 Kick her, keep coming forward. 1.00

00:14:57.000 I think it's really hard for women to knock out other women in that weight class especially, right? 1.00

00:15:03.000 But I think that...

00:15:06.000 It would be beneficial to some of these women if Joanna was just a little bit stronger to knock them out. 1.00

00:15:12.000 I think taking 300 of those hep, hep, hep, hep, like, little demon stone hands to the face, like... 0.92

00:15:20.000 Did you hear what Cormier said when he was doing commentary?

00:15:23.000 He goes, she should have gone to jail for what she did to Carla Esparza. 1.00

00:15:27.000 She should have gone to jail. 1.00

00:15:29.000 And he was laughing.

00:15:30.000 He was a funny dude, man.

00:15:32.000 Cormier is fun.

00:15:33.000 And he's so comfortable now.

00:15:35.000 It's really interesting.

00:15:36.000 He's so loose. 0.98

00:15:36.000 His trash talk is better. 0.98

00:15:39.000 Like, he's a different person. 0.84

00:15:41.000 I've never heard you guys both on there at the same time.

00:15:43.000 Are you guys both covering the, like...

00:15:46.000 Like, what's happening?

00:15:48.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:49.000 All of it.

00:15:49.000 And is that weird for you to have someone?

00:15:51.000 No, it's great.

00:15:52.000 Love it.

00:15:53.000 Yeah, it's awesome, man.

00:15:54.000 I like doing it with him, and I like doing it with Dominic Cruz, too, and I want to do it with Brian Stan.

00:16:00.000 But, man, it's fun.

00:16:01.000 It's like doing it with a friend.

00:16:03.000 It's like, you know...

00:16:03.000 And plus, you're both enjoying the fights together.

00:16:06.000 Like, there was one point that...

00:16:07.000 Dude, Daniel Cormier is a fun guy, man.

00:16:10.000 He's really fun. 0.99

00:16:12.000 He says funny shit. 0.99

00:16:14.000 He'll look over at me in the middle of the fight, like a crazy fight. 1.00

00:16:16.000 He'll slap me on the arm and go, God damn! 0.99

00:16:19.000 He'll look over at you and he'll mouth it sometimes. 0.99

00:16:22.000 He'll share a moment with you where he's looking at this like, are you seeing what I'm seeing? 1.00

00:16:27.000 Holy shit! 0.97

00:16:31.000 Hi, how you doing? 0.99

00:16:33.000 I just ate.

00:16:36.000 We both just ate right before we got on board.

00:16:40.000 Just like a water please.

00:16:42.000 I'll have a cup of coffee.

00:16:43.000 Actually I'll have a coffee as well.

00:16:46.000 Just cream please.

00:16:48.000 Thank you.

00:16:50.000 But, dude, he's really funny, man.

00:16:52.000 Like, super funny.

00:16:53.000 And, like, real friendly.

00:16:56.000 It's real weird how people don't see him that way, like, in the public eye.

00:17:00.000 And I think he's been, like, a little stiff in some press conferences, but this recent one that he did with Jon Jones, it was hilarious.

00:17:07.000 You hear what he said to him? 0.57

00:17:09.000 He goes, he goes, he goes, John, he goes, I don't even know if this fight's going to take place if you don't get in trouble for steroids or doing cocaine or sandblasted a prostitute. 0.63

00:17:23.000 Dude, he was hilarious.

00:17:26.000 What does that even mean?

00:17:26.000 I don't know what it means.

00:17:28.000 He was hilarious.

00:17:29.000 He was talking over John.

00:17:31.000 John was frustrated.

00:17:32.000 He was laughing.

00:17:33.000 He was all jovial.

00:17:35.000 It's like he's found the fun in this, man.

00:17:38.000 DC's found the fun in it.

00:17:39.000 It's really interesting.

00:17:41.000 He's so great.

00:17:42.000 That's another one.

00:17:43.000 He's like...

00:17:44.000 I mean, him, the Diaz brothers, and Yohan are like really my everything.

00:17:49.000 Yeah.

00:17:50.000 DC's really, really, really been growing on me, especially, um...

00:17:56.000 I mean, it's like, just so many people had him counted out against Rumble, even in the second fight.

00:18:02.000 Yeah.

00:18:02.000 Which he won the first one, and still people are like, no way, he's gonna get his head knocked off.

00:18:07.000 And, yeah man, you want to talk about being in there with someone dangerous, like, you can hear and feel the wind blow by you when Rumble misses a punch.

00:18:16.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:18:16.000 Like, it causes a fucking, a tornado in Japan somewhere when Rumble misses a punch here in Vegas. 0.96

00:18:23.000 Like, that shit's crazy. 1.00

00:18:25.000 But don't you think in that fight, the rumble was kind of done with fighting? 1.00

00:18:29.000 I think people said that looking back.

00:18:32.000 I think he was trying.

00:18:34.000 I think it's sort of a cop-out way to look like you didn't lose twice to Cormier by saying I was going to retire anyway.

00:18:41.000 It's like, dude, if you're going to go out like that, then maybe retire before the fight.

00:18:46.000 No, I think he wanted to just, first of all, I'm sure he wanted the money.

00:18:49.000 It was real good money.

00:18:50.000 And I think he wanted to give it one more try.

00:18:52.000 But I think that as good as Rumble is, and I think he's physically one of the most talented guys of all time, if you don't want to do it, you shouldn't be doing it.

00:19:00.000 And clearly, if you retired afterwards, it's because he didn't want to do it.

00:19:03.000 This doesn't take anything away from his ability or who he is, or should it in any way be thought of as an insult.

00:19:08.000 It's a decision that he's made, a personal decision in life.

00:19:12.000 And it's his decision to make.

00:19:15.000 But when you make that decision, it changes who you are.

00:19:18.000 It's not a bad thing, but it does change who you are.

00:19:21.000 There's guys that, like, they're focused.

00:19:25.000 They're like a Max Holloway.

00:19:26.000 Focus and goal right now is being a champion.

00:19:29.000 Focus and goal right now is being...

00:19:31.000 He's not thinking whether or not he should be fighting anymore.

00:19:34.000 Like, he's not thinking that way.

00:19:35.000 And it's a personal decision.

00:19:37.000 One day, he's gonna think that way.

00:19:39.000 And when he does, he'll step away too.

00:19:41.000 Just like Rumble did.

00:19:42.000 But he probably had already decided in his head that he was gonna step away.

00:19:45.000 Do you think he would've stepped away had he won that?

00:19:48.000 He might've, yeah.

00:19:49.000 He might've.

00:19:50.000 He might've just decided to go out with the belt.

00:19:51.000 Look, he's been in a long time.

00:19:53.000 He's had a lot of hard fights, hard training sessions.

00:19:55.000 He said it himself.

00:19:56.000 I don't wanna get punched in the head anymore.

00:19:58.000 I don't wanna wrestle with dudes anymore.

00:19:59.000 And I get it, man.

00:20:01.000 You know, as talented as he is, he has to do what he wants to do.

00:20:05.000 That's what a man does.

00:20:06.000 That's what a human does.

00:20:07.000 If you want to be happy and fulfilled, you can't do something just because you're successful at it.

00:20:11.000 And so, he just didn't want to do it anymore.

00:20:13.000 And I think it should be applauded that he had the sense of self to do that, and that he could...

00:20:21.000 Thank you very much.

00:20:23.000 You're welcome.

00:20:24.000 Because, dude, he's one of the top contenders.

00:20:27.000 So I have the meal here after...

00:20:30.000 I'll take some half and half, please.

00:20:33.000 Alright.

00:20:33.000 Thank you very much.

00:20:38.000 So, like, I, you know, I mean, Daniel, Daniel beat him up both times, but I feel like the second time, I was just so surprised that he was clenching with Daniel.

00:20:52.000 I was like, this is crazy.

00:20:54.000 Yeah, very weird approach.

00:20:56.000 I guess that's the part where you could sort of see the retirement.

00:20:58.000 Yeah, water.

00:20:59.000 Thank you.

00:21:00.000 Or maybe he wanted to go out with a bang and try to take Daniel down, you know?

00:21:04.000 Which would be crazy.

00:21:07.000 But either way, man, the dude had an awesome career.

00:21:11.000 He's had crazy highlight reel KOs that will be his forever, you know?

00:21:16.000 Like what he did to Glover Teixeira, what he did to Minotauro Noguera.

00:21:21.000 Gustafson.

00:21:22.000 Yeah, Ryan Bader.

00:21:23.000 I mean, come on, son.

00:21:25.000 Rumble Johnson put the heat on people like no other.

00:21:27.000 Watching Gustafson cry in Sweden, like flying all the way to the other side of the world.

00:21:33.000 To watch a guy cry in front of his own people because some monster came and beat his head in.

00:21:40.000 But you know what?

00:21:40.000 That just goes to show you that in life sometimes you've got to do what you want to do, regardless of what everybody else thinks.

00:21:47.000 Because here's this guy who's, if not number one, number two, right behind the champ, right?

00:21:55.000 So you've got DC. He's either number one or Jon Jones is, and they've never fought, so we don't know.

00:22:00.000 But if Rumble and Jon Jones did fight, then we would know if Rumble's number two or if he's number one in terms of the biggest challenge to Cormier.

00:22:10.000 But, you know, he's got to do what he's got to do.

00:22:14.000 That's the cool thing about, you know, like, life.

00:22:17.000 You make decisions.

00:22:18.000 Like, you don't say to a guy, hey, man, how come you're not fighting MMA? Because he's like, I don't want to.

00:22:23.000 Shit, I never even trained it. 1.00

00:22:24.000 Like, come on, pussy. 1.00

00:22:25.000 You scared? 1.00

00:22:25.000 Like, no, I don't want to. 1.00

00:22:27.000 Like, I don't have to.

00:22:28.000 You know, and that's just because Rumble was really good at it doesn't mean he has to keep doing it.

00:22:33.000 You know?

00:22:34.000 Yeah.

00:22:35.000 Now he's going to go...

00:22:37.000 Knocked down airplanes out of the sky with his bare hands or something like that, right?

00:22:43.000 I'm saying he's a giant.

00:22:44.000 Are you drunk?

00:22:45.000 No, I'm not.

00:22:46.000 What happened to you?

00:22:46.000 You just fell apart.

00:22:47.000 You're like in the middle of that riff and you lost faith in it.

00:22:53.000 I can see it in your face.

00:22:54.000 You're like, I'm just going to follow through with this. 0.71

00:22:56.000 I'm just going to leave this turd out here.

00:22:58.000 You're right.

00:22:58.000 You got me.

00:23:00.000 I think he's going to do something with football.

00:23:01.000 He's involved with the Rams or something like that.

00:23:05.000 And like...

00:23:06.000 The business side of it.

00:23:08.000 That's the rumor I heard.

00:23:10.000 I shouldn't be spreading rumors.

00:23:11.000 But anyway, real good dude, too.

00:23:14.000 Rumble Johnson's always been a super nice guy.

00:23:16.000 Liked that dude.

00:23:19.000 And again, that highlight reel that he has, head kick knockout of Kevin Burns.

00:23:24.000 I mean, he's had some crazy knockouts, man.

00:23:27.000 The dude he knocked out, the one from The Ultimate Fighter.

00:23:31.000 Jesus, Louisa.

00:23:32.000 Remember that?

00:23:33.000 Oh. 0.99

00:23:34.000 He's a beast. 0.89

00:23:36.000 Every time he hits somebody square, their knees buckle. 0.98

00:23:39.000 It's like he hits them in their knees.

00:23:40.000 It's like he electrocutes their body and shifts.

00:23:44.000 It's like their whole body tenses up.

00:23:45.000 It's really interesting because he obviously has very good technique and he throws his body into everything very well.

00:23:52.000 He's obviously a really strong guy, but the strength that he has, the power that he has in his striking is almost like you're born with that.

00:24:01.000 He has all the elements to accentuate that power, He has all the technique.

00:24:08.000 His movement is excellent.

00:24:10.000 He's quick.

00:24:11.000 He's delivering these shots.

00:24:13.000 It's really well timed.

00:24:14.000 But there's more than that.

00:24:16.000 There's a component that is a natural gift that he has for hitting really hard.

00:24:22.000 It's what separates him.

00:24:23.000 It's like you have all these people that are really, really dangerous.

00:24:26.000 And then you have Rumble.

00:24:27.000 It's like he's in this total different dimension of his own where you just can't get hit. 1.00

00:24:32.000 If you get hit, you're fucked. 0.99

00:24:34.000 And the only guy who's been able to absorb it somehow is Cormier. 1.00

00:24:37.000 Yeah.

00:24:37.000 And he barely was.

00:24:38.000 That's why...

00:24:39.000 Like, I mean, that's why I love...

00:24:41.000 I mean, Cormier is really growing on me so much lately.

00:24:45.000 It's like...

00:24:45.000 Because he did absorb that.

00:24:47.000 And I hear the crowd, like...

00:24:49.000 Not give him credit for being an outstanding wrestler.

00:24:52.000 And barely avoiding...

00:24:54.000 I mean, his head got hit by Rumble in that first fight especially.

00:25:00.000 And it all started coming down, but he avoided it.

00:25:03.000 He fought a battle.

00:25:04.000 It's a battle.

00:25:05.000 And getting hit and recuperating is a huge part of it.

00:25:10.000 And not getting stuck in a chokehold by a wrestler is another part of it.

00:25:15.000 And Cormier survived his part.

00:25:18.000 And it surprises me that the crowd is against him. 0.98

00:25:21.000 I think that fight against Silva sort of hurt him with the crowd because, of course, yes, he's going to wrestle the shit out of Silva. 0.98

00:25:28.000 What are you going to do, right? 0.96

00:25:29.000 I don't think that was it.

00:25:30.000 I think it was all the Jon Jones stuff.

00:25:32.000 It was the fact that he got the title sort of in what many people consider an illegitimate manner, meaning that they stripped Jon Jones, which makes sense that they stripped him. 0.91

00:25:41.000 You know, he violated the code of the organization and He personally, immensely fucked up, made giant mistakes. 0.99

00:25:47.000 But everybody knew that John was the baddest motherfucker on the planet. 0.99

00:25:50.000 When it came to 205 pounds, there was one dude. 0.99

00:25:53.000 That dude was Jon Jones.

00:25:54.000 And the only thing that was beating Jon Jones is that Jon Jones wasn't training. 0.99

00:25:58.000 Jon Jones did this press conference the other day with Daniel, too, and Daniel was talking all kinds of shit. 0.99

00:26:03.000 Jon went deep. 1.00

00:26:03.000 He goes, I beat you after a weekend of cocaine. 1.00

00:26:09.000 And, dude, Michael Johnson was crying and laughing. 1.00

00:26:12.000 He was like, oh shit, oh shit. 1.00

00:26:14.000 That's the most cold-blooded stuff in the world. 1.00

00:26:17.000 I mean, the Diaz brothers, you know, blatantly smoking pot and beating up their opponents is one thing.

00:26:23.000 But to brag about doing an entire weekend of cocaine. 1.00

00:26:26.000 Dude, Jon Jones is a bad motherfucker. 0.99

00:26:29.000 I mean, nobody just does cocaine, right? 1.00

00:26:31.000 That means you were drinking, probably hooking up with hookers or whatever.

00:26:35.000 I mean, that seems to be how most people do cocaine.

00:26:37.000 I don't know how it works, but it doesn't seem like that thing you just do by yourself.

00:26:42.000 You know what?

00:26:43.000 Jon Jones could be the best of all time.

00:26:45.000 He really could, still.

00:26:46.000 He's only 30 years old.

00:26:48.000 There's only one way for us to know.

00:26:49.000 Daniel Cormier has to do cocaine for a week.

00:26:52.000 No, no, no, no.

00:26:54.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:26:57.000 I think Daniel, in that fight, was hampered by emotion.

00:27:03.000 And I think that Jon really got under his skin and really taunted him and got him fired up to the point where it was detrimental to him.

00:27:11.000 He got overcome with emotion. 0.99

00:27:13.000 John is a good shit talker, man. 0.99

00:27:15.000 We did an interview where I sat in the middle and Daniel sat to my right and John sat to my left. 1.00

00:27:20.000 And dude, John's ruthless.

00:27:23.000 He's so ruthless.

00:27:24.000 It's a whole other part of the game.

00:27:26.000 You rack it up there with boxing and jujitsu and wrestling.

00:27:31.000 But you didn't even get to see it.

00:27:32.000 They didn't even put part of it online. 1.00

00:27:34.000 So the best shit... 1.00

00:27:35.000 But I'm just saying about shit talking overall. 1.00

00:27:37.000 But I'm saying Jon Jones' shit talking to Daniel Cormier, the best part, didn't even get online. 1.00

00:27:42.000 The best part, he was calling him his pussy. 1.00

00:27:44.000 He's like, he goes, you're my pussy. 1.00

00:27:46.000 He goes, you're always going to be my pussy. 1.00

00:27:49.000 He goes, I'll fuck you up every time we fight. 1.00

00:27:53.000 It's just like, he's like, it doesn't matter. 1.00

00:27:56.000 It doesn't matter what happens. 1.00

00:27:58.000 He goes, you know, every time we fight, I'll fuck you up. 0.99

00:28:01.000 He goes, you're supposed to be a big time wrestler? 1.00

00:28:03.000 He goes, I took you down, man.

00:28:06.000 He goes, you're an Olympic wrestler?

00:28:07.000 I took you down. 1.00

00:28:09.000 He's like, I beat your ass. 1.00

00:28:10.000 And Daniel was very mad. 1.00

00:28:13.000 I mean, the two of them were, it was very intense.

00:28:16.000 That was that face-to-face interview.

00:28:19.000 Yeah, it was intense.

00:28:19.000 You were in the middle in like a director's chair, right?

00:28:22.000 No, that's how Max Kellerman does it.

00:28:24.000 Oh, you know, yeah, I was in a director's chair.

00:28:26.000 Max Kellerman does it, I think, better, honestly.

00:28:28.000 Because what Max Kellerman does is he sort of faces the screen and the fighters face each other beside him to his right and to his left.

00:28:35.000 We had it almost in like sort of a semi-circle.

00:28:38.000 And so the fighters, it would have been better if we did it at a table the way HBO did it.

00:28:43.000 But it was the only time we ever did it, and it was very, very intense.

00:28:46.000 It was very intense. 1.00

00:28:47.000 Jon Jones is a bad motherfucker, dude. 1.00

00:28:51.000 And, like, DC had this whole crew with him, and Jon Jones was like, I'll fuck all you up. 1.00

00:28:55.000 I'll fuck you up. 1.00

00:28:56.000 He goes, don't look at me, big boy. 1.00

00:28:58.000 I'll fuck you up. 1.00

00:28:59.000 Like, dudes are scaring him. 1.00

00:29:02.000 Dudes are staring at him and trying to give him some attitude. 1.00

00:29:05.000 Jon just straight up looks at him and is like, I'll fuck you up. 0.99

00:29:08.000 Don't look at me like that. 1.00

00:29:10.000 You think he's going to make it to this fight?

00:29:12.000 Oh yeah, for sure.

00:29:13.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:29:14.000 He's not going to fuck this up.

00:29:16.000 And what's fascinating to me is when you watch these guys jawing at each other when no one can see.

00:29:21.000 That's when you know there's no press.

00:29:23.000 There's me and a couple other people that are around that are UFC employees.

00:29:27.000 This is real.

00:29:28.000 This is two guys trying to get under each other's skin and John was very good at it.

00:29:33.000 So this was after the first fight when they were supposed to fight for the second time and then it got cancelled and John got stripped and the whole deal.

00:29:40.000 So now they're finally going to go after it, but John's only been back in the octagon once since then against Ovin St. Preux.

00:29:49.000 Yeah, I remember that.

00:29:50.000 I was at the bar, the comedy store. 0.99

00:29:54.000 So all this shit's been going down, and the only time John's been in the cage since all this shit went down is the Ovin St. Preux. 0.98

00:30:00.000 Since they were originally going to rematch... 0.99

00:30:03.000 He fought Ovin St. Preux.

00:30:04.000 He beat him, but he felt like he was off.

00:30:08.000 It seemed like he was off.

00:30:10.000 Could be.

00:30:10.000 I think Ovin St. Preux is real good, too.

00:30:13.000 And I also think he wasn't planning for Ovin St. Preux.

00:30:16.000 He was planning for someone else, you know?

00:30:19.000 That was when Daniel got injured, wasn't it?

00:30:21.000 No.

00:30:22.000 Did Daniel get injured?

00:30:23.000 I don't even remember.

00:30:25.000 I'm not even going to look it up.

00:30:26.000 How about that, folks?

00:30:27.000 The point being, that's an interesting fight, man, because they're going to go at it again in July, and now Cormier's got all this momentum on his side.

00:30:35.000 Cormier beat Rumble.

00:30:36.000 He defended against Gustafson.

00:30:39.000 Or did he beat Gustafson to win it?

00:30:43.000 No, Rumble beat Gustafson.

00:30:45.000 Cormier beat Rumble.

00:30:46.000 No, Cormier beat Rumble to win it.

00:30:48.000 That's how he got the title.

00:30:49.000 That's right.

00:30:50.000 And then he defended against Gustafson.

00:30:52.000 And then he defended against Rumble.

00:30:56.000 And he just fought Silva in a non-title match in between.

00:31:00.000 That's right.

00:31:02.000 That was a weird fight.

00:31:05.000 Yeah, that was weird.

00:31:06.000 Yeah.

00:31:07.000 Double leg takedown, shoot low, follow through.

00:31:11.000 Yeah, he does.

00:31:12.000 He's a bigger man that's a wrestler.

00:31:14.000 I mean, it's one of those, like, if it ain't broke, don't fix it things, right?

00:31:20.000 Yeah.

00:31:22.000 Well, Cormier is just such a stud wrestler.

00:31:24.000 You ever see his fight with Dan Anderson?

00:31:28.000 It's been a while.

00:31:29.000 Dan Henderson, who's a beast, you know, he's a former Olympic wrestler himself, but just not really the same size.

00:31:36.000 And Cormier just threw him around, man.

00:31:40.000 I mean, just threw him all over the place.

00:31:43.000 I think he choked him out, too.

00:31:45.000 I think he choked him unconscious.

00:31:47.000 But I mean, he just manhandled him.

00:31:48.000 And you realize, like, how strong Cormier really is.

00:31:51.000 And how good his wrestling really is. 1.00

00:31:53.000 It's like super, super high-level shit, man. 0.99

00:31:58.000 That fight last night that stole the show was, uh... 1.00

00:32:02.000 Was, uh, LaShawn?

00:32:05.000 What's that?

00:32:06.000 Chase Sherman and Rashad Colton.

00:32:08.000 Oh my god.

00:32:09.000 Yeah.

00:32:10.000 Good lord. 0.87

00:32:11.000 Rock'em, sock'em robots. 0.99

00:32:12.000 Crazy. 0.99

00:32:13.000 In an octagon.

00:32:15.000 It was interesting because, again, I don't know what you guys were saying in commentary.

00:32:20.000 You're just far enough away where I can't hear you.

00:32:24.000 I noticed that the guy, not Lashon, but his opponent...

00:32:28.000 Rashad.

00:32:29.000 Rashad.

00:32:30.000 Lashon. 0.91

00:32:31.000 Just give him some random black name. 0.99

00:32:33.000 I'm from an all-black neighborhood.

00:32:35.000 I just call everybody Lashon. 0.98

00:32:39.000 He was kicking Rashad's leg over and over again to where Rashad couldn't use it.

00:32:43.000 Yeah.

00:32:43.000 But then he kept going for this knockout instead of just keeping attacking the leg.

00:32:48.000 Like, what do you think about that?

00:32:50.000 Well, he definitely got a little anxious, and he allowed Rashad to get back into it, like whopping him with some haymakers.

00:32:57.000 But, you know, it's just part of what's going to come with experience.

00:33:00.000 He's a young kid.

00:33:01.000 I think he's only 24 years old, 24 or 25, Sherman.

00:33:06.000 And, um, if I remember correctly, and he's under the tutelage of Alan Belcher and, um, So I think he's got real potential, man.

00:33:16.000 He's also done some work in Albuquerque.

00:33:19.000 I think he was there with Winkle John and the Jackson people in Albuquerque.

00:33:25.000 So great coaching.

00:33:27.000 Looked real good, man.

00:33:28.000 Looked real good on his feet.

00:33:29.000 And just it was a slobber knocker, man.

00:33:32.000 Crazy back and forth heavyweight fight.

00:33:35.000 But if that kid can get it together, like, he's got real good movement, real good kicks.

00:33:39.000 You just gotta make good choices.

00:33:41.000 Like, decide when to go in, when to charge for, when to put yourself in danger.

00:33:45.000 He didn't have to.

00:33:46.000 He could've kept doing what he was doing.

00:33:47.000 That dude was kind of incapacitated with those leg kicks.

00:33:52.000 Yeah, it was a fireworks show.

00:33:54.000 Yeah.

00:33:54.000 It's one of those ones where...

00:33:56.000 Is that guy from American Top Team 2?

00:34:01.000 Who?

00:34:01.000 Rashad?

00:34:02.000 No, his opponent.

00:34:04.000 Sherman?

00:34:04.000 No.

00:34:06.000 I'm pretty sure he was with Jacksons.

00:34:09.000 That American Top Team had so many fighters in it.

00:34:14.000 It's like an anomaly, right?

00:34:16.000 Yeah, it was pretty crazy.

00:34:16.000 And they all did pretty good.

00:34:18.000 Yeah, they did pretty good.

00:34:20.000 I mean, Ioana won, obviously.

00:34:22.000 Junior got knocked out.

00:34:24.000 The one was called a draw with the...

00:34:28.000 With Eddie Alvarez's knee kick.

00:34:31.000 But that was, I don't know about that one.

00:34:33.000 Well, Masvidal, who's an American top team, lost to Maya in as close a decision as you're ever going to get.

00:34:39.000 It was a split decision.

00:34:41.000 And Daniel was trying to figure out what he thinks.

00:34:46.000 He was like, do you give the guy more credit?

00:34:49.000 We're doing damage for the first half of the round, or do you give the guy more credit for being able to control the guy and go after submissions for the second half of the round?

00:34:58.000 And what is worth more?

00:35:00.000 It's a really good question.

00:35:01.000 Because the Masvidal-Damian Meyer fight, like one round of it, particularly the second round, is a really good case study and judging.

00:35:09.000 And maybe athletic commissions should review that fight and say, hey, this fight's a really good example of a fight where...

00:35:18.000 It's really subjective, and we have to kind of quantify what is more important.

00:35:22.000 If you've got the exact same amount of time, but one thing hurt the guy and one thing didn't, does it go towards a kickboxer, or does it go towards the one half of the round where the guy was fighting off being strangled for every second of that two and a half minutes?

00:35:44.000 What do you think?

00:35:45.000 I don't know.

00:35:46.000 It's an interesting argument.

00:35:47.000 On one side, I feel like Masvidal did more damage, and that should be worth something. 1.00

00:35:53.000 But on the second part of it, Masvidal wasn't threatening at all once Maya got on his back.

00:36:01.000 So once Maya got on his back, it's like, Jesus, man, this is a constrictor on top of you.

00:36:09.000 And Masvidal did defend at one time, and at the end of one of the rounds, the first round, I believe, got Maya off his back and landed some good shots.

00:36:19.000 Maya was trying to take him down and control him again. 0.73

00:36:21.000 So he did get off some damage.

00:36:23.000 So arguably, he could have got that round because he did a little damage in the beginning.

00:36:28.000 Maya took him down and he defended successfully. 0.97

00:36:31.000 And then he did some damage at the end.

00:36:33.000 You'd really have to have a real conversation about what's most important.

00:36:37.000 Is control most important?

00:36:39.000 Or is damage most important?

00:36:41.000 Or is threat most important?

00:36:43.000 Because Masvidal wasn't close to knocking Maia out. 0.86

00:36:47.000 He didn't have him staggering around the cage.

00:36:49.000 But that could have come at any moment.

00:36:52.000 So it's like there's threat there.

00:36:53.000 And he's clearly hitting Maia more than Maia's hitting him.

00:36:57.000 So you have to assess, like, what's more threatening.

00:36:59.000 Because when Maia's got you down, it's got your back, boy, there's a really high likelihood you're getting choked.

00:37:04.000 But yet, Masvidal figured out a way to get out of that, so he should also get a little bit of credit for his great defense, but more credit should be to Maia's control and Maia's attacking and Maia's owning the position.

00:37:19.000 Like, he pretty much controlled the position for a good chunk of that fight when he got the back or when he got him on the ground.

00:37:24.000 So it's a weird conversation.

00:37:26.000 Judges last night with the Texas State Athletic Commission.

00:37:30.000 Some of them.

00:37:31.000 Do these people work with...

00:37:33.000 Are they the same people that are in the Vegas State Athletic Commission?

00:37:35.000 Sometimes.

00:37:36.000 Depends on the commission.

00:37:37.000 That's a good question.

00:37:38.000 I think...

00:37:39.000 I would have to look it up to be sure.

00:37:41.000 But I think some commissions will bring in more experienced guys.

00:37:45.000 They'll hire people.

00:38:00.000 I saw you ask Herb Dean after the Eddie Alvarez and I don't know if we heard.

00:38:05.000 Yeah.

00:38:06.000 The answer.

00:38:07.000 What did he say to him?

00:38:08.000 Well, first of all, Herb is like one of the most reasonable and logical guys you'll ever talk to after a fight like that.

00:38:14.000 He's not emotional at all.

00:38:16.000 And it's one of the reasons why I think he's like the gold standard.

00:38:19.000 It's him and Big John McCarthy in my eyes who are the best of the best.

00:38:23.000 Not that there's anything wrong with the other people.

00:38:25.000 There's a lot of great referees.

00:38:26.000 I think Dan Mergliata does a great job too.

00:38:28.000 But Herb is so calm in there.

00:38:31.000 He just makes good decisions.

00:38:33.000 And he is not a big fan at all of guys playing that game, of touching the hand down to the ground and avoiding the knee. 0.97

00:38:40.000 He thinks it's bullshit, and he thinks if you get hit when you're playing that game, he's going to let it go. 0.94

00:38:48.000 He's like, it's too much of a scrap, like Eddie Alvarez was saying, this is a fist fight. 0.99

00:38:52.000 And he's just trying to win, and he's pulling triggers.

00:38:57.000 And they're in questionable moments.

00:38:58.000 The referee's not stopping him.

00:39:00.000 He's not saying he's down.

00:39:01.000 The fighter's down.

00:39:02.000 Like, you can't even see sometimes. 0.99

00:39:04.000 If you're holding onto a guy or you're in a situation where you're just a few inches from him, you're not sure whether or not his hand is touching the ground, but you are sure you can fucking knee him in the head. 0.99

00:39:14.000 A lot of times you're just going to go for that knee to the head. 0.99

00:39:17.000 You're going to take that chance.

00:39:18.000 And I think that's what Eddie said, and I think Dustin believed him too because, you know, Dustin stood up for him.

00:39:23.000 In the post-fight interview, he was like, don't you boo this man.

00:39:27.000 He's the guy who got hit with the illegal shot, and he was still saying, don't boo this guy.

00:39:32.000 So I asked her after the fight, I said, what did you think?

00:39:37.000 I go, these are the old rules, right?

00:39:40.000 So if it's the old rules and one hands down, then it's illegal, right?

00:39:46.000 He goes, yes.

00:39:47.000 He goes, but I don't feel like it was bearing weight.

00:39:50.000 He goes, you know, he's definitely playing the game and he definitely was putting his hands down, but I felt like the first time it wasn't bearing weight.

00:39:58.000 And that's how I define it.

00:40:00.000 And he's like, and then the second time, it was a legit mistake.

00:40:04.000 The second time was definitely illegal.

00:40:07.000 But I felt like he was in the middle of throwing it when it all happened.

00:40:11.000 And I think he's correct in that.

00:40:13.000 So he's the guy that's closest to the action, and he's got to make the most pertinent decision.

00:40:18.000 I also think...

00:40:19.000 It's gonna be a weird issue with referees that do events that have the new rules and then do events that have the old rules.

00:40:27.000 And it's pretty much universally agreed that the new rules are the way to go.

00:40:31.000 So with the touching of the hands on the mat, it's gonna be interesting to see if there's like an interpretation that favors Why weren't the new rules adopted for Texas last year?

00:40:58.000 I don't know.

00:40:59.000 You know, I mean, I think it's probably different with each organization.

00:41:01.000 They have to make decisions and they decide themselves whether or not they have...

00:41:05.000 I mean, it might be a budget issue.

00:41:06.000 Maybe they don't have time to review it.

00:41:08.000 I don't know.

00:41:08.000 It might be they disagree.

00:41:11.000 Who knows, man?

00:41:13.000 You know, these athletic commissions can make their own decisions when it comes to that.

00:41:17.000 But as far as, like, the good of the sport, it would be nice if we all agreed.

00:41:21.000 And I think...

00:41:21.000 I don't think...

00:41:22.000 The real concern would be whether or not it's bad for the safety of the fighter.

00:41:25.000 I don't think it is.

00:41:27.000 Because I think it encourages fighting more than it encourages stall techniques.

00:41:31.000 So if you give someone a stall technique, like the ability to put your hands on the ground, you won't get knee in the face, you're going to take it.

00:41:38.000 Some guys are, in some situations.

00:41:40.000 It's going to be a desperado move that if it's there, you're going to reach for it.

00:41:43.000 But if it's not there, you won't reach for it.

00:41:45.000 So in terms of the actual effectiveness of overall fighting and the realism of fighting, it's better to get it out.

00:41:53.000 We don't want it in there.

00:41:55.000 I don't think it really does protect people.

00:41:57.000 I think the people that are going to get in need are going to get in need.

00:41:59.000 I think what it does is it protects you for that brief moment, but in the decision that you make, To do that, you're making a purely defensive decision.

00:42:08.000 You're putting your hands on the mat, both of them, so this guy can't knee you in the face.

00:42:12.000 That's not a good sign in a fight.

00:42:15.000 You're in a bad position.

00:42:17.000 Sometimes you can rebound from a bad position, no doubt about it, but I don't think we should reward I don't think you should have these escape routes where someone can touch the mat and not be able to...

00:42:27.000 It's like, I'm on base.

00:42:28.000 I'm safe.

00:42:29.000 You know?

00:42:30.000 So I think Herb was right, ultimately.

00:42:32.000 But according to the strict interpretation of the rules, it was an illegal blow.

00:42:37.000 So it was interesting that he made it in no contest.

00:42:40.000 He can sort of get away with that.

00:42:41.000 He sort of has leeway, right?

00:42:43.000 Well, it's open to interpretation.

00:42:46.000 I haven't read anything online, but I guarantee you it'll be controversial.

00:42:51.000 I mean, it's just a hot-button subject, and people will be debating it back and forth, and there's going to be people that agree with Herb.

00:42:57.000 There's gonna be people that disagree with him.

00:42:59.000 But ultimately, that's the toughest job, next to being a fighter, in MMA. The guy who has to make those calls, and I give them a shit ton of respect, man.

00:43:10.000 I used to be a baseball umpire for Little League, and that was hard.

00:43:16.000 And to think, man, so much passion.

00:43:19.000 It's like a tie, and if I go safe, this side goes crazy, but if I go out, that side goes crazy, and it's so close.

00:43:36.000 Yeah.

00:43:38.000 Yeah.

00:43:39.000 Yeah.

00:43:49.000 Yeah, it is a crazy job, Ben.

00:43:52.000 And you have to know a lot about MMA. You have to really understand when a guy's actually in trouble, when you need to step in.

00:44:00.000 You have to have seen a bunch of guys get hit.

00:44:02.000 You've got to know when a guy's done.

00:44:04.000 And it's subjective.

00:44:06.000 And you can make bad calls.

00:44:07.000 And sometimes you make bad calls and there's nothing you can do about it.

00:44:10.000 I mean, in the early days, Big John McCarthy...

00:44:15.000 Uh, was refereeing a fight between Matt Lindland and Murillo Bustamante, and Murillo Bustamante tapped Matt Lindland, and then Lindland said that he didn't tap.

00:44:25.000 So they restarted the fight, and they went back at it again, and then Bustamante tapped him again a later round.

00:44:32.000 So they tapped him twice in the same fight.

00:44:35.000 When it happened, you were commentating?

00:44:37.000 I believe so.

00:44:40.000 Did you see him tap on the video?

00:44:41.000 Do you remember?

00:44:42.000 I'm trying to remember if I was commentating.

00:44:44.000 It's hard to remember.

00:44:45.000 It's like they all get blurry after a while.

00:44:46.000 I'm pretty sure I was, but man, I might not have been now that I think about it.

00:44:52.000 I'll have to go back and listen.

00:44:54.000 But I remember the fight clearly.

00:44:56.000 Because I remember going, oh no.

00:44:59.000 He stood him up?

00:45:00.000 And now they're going to make him fight again?

00:45:01.000 I'm like, that's crazy.

00:45:02.000 He already won though.

00:45:03.000 He won.

00:45:04.000 All you have to do is look at the replay and you can see Lin-Lin tap.

00:45:07.000 And he said, look, if they give him another chance to fight, he's going to take another chance to fight.

00:45:12.000 If he can con his way back into a fight, he's going to do it.

00:45:15.000 So he said, I didn't tap.

00:45:17.000 He'll let him go back in there again.

00:45:19.000 That's a baller move.

00:45:20.000 It's such a baller move.

00:45:22.000 I didn't tap.

00:45:22.000 I was just moving my hand back and forth.

00:45:24.000 Well, the more baller move is Bustamante tapping him again.

00:45:28.000 He's going to go, really?

00:45:29.000 And then he caught him in the guillotine the second time.

00:45:32.000 But that's happened before.

00:45:34.000 That's happened in fights before.

00:45:35.000 The guys said they didn't tap when they did.

00:45:37.000 And so, because of that, people have been forced to hold submissions and wait until the referee literally separates them.

00:45:45.000 But that's also what got...

00:45:47.000 People are super sensitive about that with knee bars.

00:45:51.000 With chokes, it doesn't seem to bother people as much. 0.97

00:45:54.000 People don't get mad if somebody holds onto a choke.

00:45:58.000 Speaking of knees, another thing I thought was really cool from last night was the other female fight and the lady's kicks from her back. 1.00

00:46:11.000 Oh, yeah.

00:46:12.000 Unbelievably effective.

00:46:14.000 Cordy Casey.

00:46:15.000 Yeah, right on the kneecap, trying to hyperextend those legs.

00:46:20.000 Even from our angle, it looked like it was really working. 0.99

00:46:23.000 You could see her leg bending back and she didn't want to fuck with that after a while. 1.00

00:46:28.000 No. 0.99

00:46:28.000 In the beginning, the crowd was going crazy because the bigger girl dragged her to the middle of the ring by her foot. 0.99

00:46:33.000 You know what I mean?

00:46:34.000 It got the crowd into it. 0.98

00:46:36.000 But as the fight went on, she was beating the shit out of her from her back with her feet. 0.99

00:46:40.000 It was very, very, very awesome.

00:46:42.000 Again, I wish I knew what you guys were talking about over there because over there, I'm like, it's interesting...

00:46:48.000 Because you're sort of watching the fight in arena, you're sort of like on an island by yourself when you're not, when you don't have a headset on, you can't hear you guys.

00:46:56.000 Right.

00:46:57.000 But, man!

00:46:57.000 And you're only watching it right in front of you, too.

00:46:59.000 You're not really seeing it on the monitors very much.

00:47:01.000 Right.

00:47:02.000 Exactly.

00:47:02.000 So it's all very, like, you're just trying to make sure that what you're seeing is real.

00:47:07.000 It's weird not hearing you guys.

00:47:10.000 Because I hear you guys everywhere else.

00:47:12.000 At home, on the internet, on the phone.

00:47:14.000 But you're that close to the action, you don't have it.

00:47:17.000 It's very bizarre.

00:47:18.000 Yeah.

00:47:19.000 So what were you guys, what was that like?

00:47:21.000 Well, I was impressed.

00:47:22.000 I was saying that like what she's doing is like kind of next level up kicking. 0.99

00:47:25.000 Like her up kicks are so good.

00:47:27.000 And that Aguilar was making a mistake of being right in front of her.

00:47:31.000 It was Daniel's point.

00:47:32.000 And then Aguilar's knees are getting jacked.

00:47:34.000 She kept getting hyperextended and Daniel was saying all the different things she could do to avoid that.

00:47:38.000 But I was just so impressed with Courtney Casey's up kicks. 0.99

00:47:41.000 I was like, she's taking up kicks to the next level. 1.00

00:47:43.000 And I'm thinking, like, man, I bet upkicks are just one of those things that if you just practice it, you get really good at it.

00:47:49.000 I bet we haven't really seen the full potential of upkicks.

00:47:53.000 I bet somebody would just be so deadly that you wouldn't even want to get close to them when they're on their back. 0.99

00:47:57.000 Right, imagine that opponent, the one that just lays down as soon as the ball rings, just like, oh, shit! 1.00

00:48:03.000 Oh, they just pretend to fall down and fuck you up off their back. 1.00

00:48:06.000 Hey, I still feel like Nate Diaz was setting a trap for Conor in that second fight those two times. 1.00

00:48:12.000 That could very well be.

00:48:14.000 I totally see him trying to make it look like that was one of their plans, make it look like Connor got me on the chin, let Connor overreact, and then mousetrap.

00:48:23.000 Didn't he say that?

00:48:24.000 Didn't he say that?

00:48:25.000 I never officially heard it.

00:48:26.000 He may have said it in a post-press conference or something, but it felt like a mousetrap to me.

00:48:31.000 I don't even know if he would admit that, even if he would, because I don't think he'd want to give away his strategies.

00:48:38.000 Right, right.

00:48:39.000 Well, I think...

00:48:40.000 Look, he's got such a giant advantage on the ground.

00:48:44.000 Imagine if Nate Diaz became like a killer wrestler.

00:48:47.000 Like, Nate Diaz is like, you know, Kevin Randleman back in the day, like, shooting these power doubles and getting dudes on the ground.

00:48:53.000 Like, Nate Diaz's ground game is very high level, man.

00:48:56.000 He's super nasty at mixing up strikes with his submissions, too.

00:49:00.000 Like, what set up that submission, first of all, is the strikes on the feet, he popped Conor in the jaw, had him rocked, and then got him on the ground and was busting him up on the ground.

00:49:09.000 And then Conor gave up his back trying to escape the mount.

00:49:12.000 And he chokes him.

00:49:14.000 Nate beat him standing up. 1.00

00:49:16.000 That shot Conor took was absolute garbage. 1.00

00:49:21.000 Garbage shot. 1.00

00:49:22.000 He was really hurt. 0.99

00:49:23.000 Yeah.

00:49:23.000 He was just trying to hang on.

00:49:24.000 He was just trying to hang on.

00:49:27.000 Antonio Tarver, was that right?

00:49:29.000 Last week said that too.

00:49:32.000 Tarver?

00:49:33.000 Yeah.

00:49:34.000 Old boxer?

00:49:35.000 Yeah.

00:49:36.000 He's the new striking coach for American Top Team.

00:49:39.000 Oh really?

00:49:40.000 Yep.

00:49:41.000 Oh wow.

00:49:42.000 Or the Black Zillions. 0.98

00:49:43.000 I'm sorry.

00:49:44.000 The Black Zillions. 1.00

00:49:45.000 Sorry.

00:49:46.000 Yeah, he's the new striking coach for the Black Zillions. 0.78

00:49:48.000 Man, that's such an offensive thing that I just said.

00:49:50.000 You don't even know.

00:49:51.000 The Black Zillions, the American top team, have a giant rivalry with each other to the point where they had an ultimate fighter where the two teams faced off against each other for a whole season.

00:50:01.000 So my apologies to American top team.

00:50:04.000 Black Zillions got... 1.00

00:50:05.000 Either way, Tarver's a bad motherfucker. 1.00

00:50:08.000 Remember when he knocked out Roy Jones? 1.00

00:50:09.000 Yeah.

00:50:10.000 Dude.

00:50:10.000 Amazing.

00:50:11.000 But anyway, he said that it should be Nate Diaz going up against Floyd Mayweather, because Nate Diaz beat Conor McGregor, and I'm totally on that same wavelength where it's like, yeah, what are we talking about here?

00:50:23.000 Like, I just want to see more of the Diaz brothers overall in anything.

00:50:27.000 I guess that's my thing, is that...

00:50:29.000 Well, I agree that it definitely would still sell a shit ton of money.

00:50:33.000 A shit ton of pay-per-views, rather. 0.87

00:50:35.000 Make a shit ton of money.

00:50:36.000 I mean, I just don't think that Nate Diaz has the international appeal that Conor has.

00:50:40.000 Nate Diaz should. 0.98

00:50:42.000 Nate Diaz in America is a goddamn hero. 0.97

00:50:45.000 And I don't think the UFC is totally aware of what a big star he is. 0.98

00:50:49.000 I don't think so either.

00:50:50.000 I think he could be just three, four, five fights away from being...

00:50:54.000 What McGregor is to Ireland for Mexico.

00:50:57.000 Well, he's American, bro.

00:50:59.000 I know, but trust me, we're all American.

00:51:03.000 But my point is, it's like, you know, they need that.

00:51:08.000 I think UFC really still needs a huge Mexican superstar.

00:51:12.000 I think that they've had them, and I don't mean from Mexico, Mexico.

00:51:16.000 I mean, like, just Mexico to help people get into it, and it's a big part of it.

00:51:21.000 Well, that's one of the things that people are excited about with Yair Rodriguez.

00:51:25.000 But he just bit off way more than he could chew last night against Frankie Edgar.

00:51:30.000 Frankie just mauled him. 0.97

00:51:32.000 Like, literally mauled him.

00:51:35.000 The best defense is a good offense, and he just kept going at it.

00:51:38.000 Well, as a person who's a kicker...

00:51:41.000 Like, you realize when you're kicking, you're standing on one leg.

00:51:46.000 I mean, you're vulnerable.

00:51:47.000 You're just more vulnerable to being taken down by a guy who's an elite MMA wrestler.

00:51:52.000 And when I say MMA wrestler, I mean a guy who's used to catching kicks, understands where the kicks are coming, where they're coming from, knows when it's happening, there's no hesitation, dives on it, and takes you down.

00:52:04.000 No, thank you.

00:52:05.000 No, thank you.

00:52:07.000 No, I'm good.

00:52:08.000 I'm good on everything.

00:52:09.000 Thank you very much.

00:52:10.000 Thank you.

00:52:11.000 I feel like I've been watching Frankie Edgar forever.

00:52:14.000 You have been.

00:52:15.000 I mean, he beat BJ Penn for the title. 1.00

00:52:18.000 Shit. 0.96

00:52:19.000 I don't know when it was, but I want to say it was like 2008 or 9 maybe. 0.99

00:52:27.000 That was a long time ago, man.

00:52:28.000 He's still in the heat at 145. I mean, he proved with that fight that he is in the heat.

00:52:34.000 He looked great afterwards.

00:52:36.000 He walked up near us and, like, it was just, like, didn't even look like he fought that day.

00:52:41.000 Very amazing.

00:52:42.000 Yeah, it just goes to show you how good Aldo really is.

00:52:46.000 You know, because Aldo's already beaten him twice.

00:52:48.000 Yeah.

00:52:50.000 The thing is, man, I want to see Aldo versus McGregor, but it's a hard sell.

00:52:56.000 When someone knocks you out in 13 seconds, it's super hard to say, I gotta get a second shot at him.

00:53:05.000 I think it goes both ways. 0.98

00:53:07.000 I think it makes it hard to get another shot at him, and I think it makes it easier to get another shot at him because we know that's a goddamn anomaly. 0.99

00:53:15.000 I know we would all feel silly if, say, they did it again and he knocked them out in eight seconds and we're like, are you fucking kidding? 0.98

00:53:22.000 Let me tell you something, he could. 0.95

00:53:24.000 Connor could.

00:53:24.000 If he does that, then we melt down that belt, we melt down the gold into a crown, and you put it on Connor's head, and you say...

00:53:32.000 You're done.

00:53:33.000 Go enjoy your crown.

00:53:34.000 You're done.

00:53:35.000 You're now on Game of Thrones.

00:53:37.000 You're no longer a fighter.

00:53:39.000 Isn't that amazing if you requested a crown?

00:53:43.000 I don't fight for belts anymore.

00:53:45.000 I fight for crowns.

00:53:47.000 I melted my belt into the crown.

00:53:50.000 That's a terrible accent. 0.54

00:53:51.000 I don't do accents.

00:53:53.000 That's what the Undertaker once did.

00:53:55.000 He once melted down the WWF belt into a championship.

00:54:01.000 Like a necklace.

00:54:02.000 Did he really?

00:54:03.000 No, actually it wasn't him. 0.90

00:54:04.000 That was like the godfather that was like a pimp. 0.92

00:54:07.000 He was like a pimp wrestler. 0.71

00:54:09.000 He won the WWE belt and he had the gold melted down into like a pimp's necklace. 0.64

00:54:14.000 Oh my god. 1.00

00:54:15.000 Basically, he was like, fuck your belt. 1.00

00:54:17.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

00:54:19.000 I love the storylines like that.

00:54:21.000 Oh yeah.

00:54:23.000 Wrestling is so campy. 0.98

00:54:25.000 It's so silly. 0.61

00:54:27.000 The thing about wrestling is though, man, when you joke around about it, people get super upset. 0.73

00:54:33.000 They sort of do.

00:54:35.000 Oh, they get upset, man.

00:54:36.000 People also obviously get sort of very happy too.

00:54:41.000 I think it goes both ways. 0.99

00:54:43.000 It takes a real moron to get upset about it. 1.00

00:54:47.000 There's a lot of real morons out there though. 1.00

00:54:49.000 Well, hey, you had me upset that one time because you kept saying that It was not real, and we know it's not real. 0.99

00:54:56.000 Like, that part's not surprising to us, but you kept saying that, like, Game of Thrones was real and stuff.

00:55:05.000 You're watching a play.

00:55:07.000 You go to see musicals.

00:55:09.000 They might as well be singing.

00:55:12.000 Sometimes they sing on wrestling, too.

00:55:14.000 You know Daniel Cormier is a big wrestling fan.

00:55:17.000 Oh, yeah, I'm sure he is. 0.99

00:55:18.000 He's a silly fella. 1.00

00:55:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:55:22.000 But there's definitely a lot of that.

00:55:23.000 I mean, we talked about this years ago on a podcast where I said, you know, I think more elements of pro wrestling in the UFC would do him justice because it just makes for entertainment.

00:55:35.000 And since then, this Irishman has become a big deal, the Diaz brothers of these tough characters.

00:55:42.000 We're starting to just find out more about the characters, and that's sort of what I meant.

00:55:45.000 Nothing fake or anything, but just...

00:55:47.000 The entertainment part is a big side of the UFC, and it's a big side of boxing, and it's a big side of all of sports, and I think the UFC is really embracing that, and also having a little bit of trouble embracing it, but also embracing it.

00:56:02.000 Well, I think they definitely embrace it, but you also have to respect the hierarchy of championship.

00:56:07.000 Like the Amanda Nunes-Ronda Rousey thing.

00:56:10.000 When they were doing that big promo and they were only featuring Ronda Rousey.

00:56:14.000 I don't know whose decision that was.

00:56:15.000 I'm not going to criticize them.

00:56:16.000 They did their best.

00:56:17.000 They created a very interesting...

00:56:19.000 Compelling little piece that got me fired up about the fight.

00:56:22.000 I got fired up about the fight when I saw that.

00:56:24.000 So they did a good job on it.

00:56:26.000 But I don't think they paid nearly enough attention to the danger that is Amanda Nunes.

00:56:31.000 And I think that if they showed that, it would have made it even more compelling. 1.00

00:56:35.000 Because Amanda's a fucking monster. 1.00

00:56:38.000 That chick hits hard. 1.00

00:56:40.000 She's ferocious. 0.94

00:56:41.000 She's nasty on the ground and she knows how to win. 1.00

00:56:44.000 And she's an attacker. 0.97

00:56:45.000 And if they just showed the highlights, man, just showed her beating up Misha Tate, strangling her.

00:56:50.000 They showed her putting it to people, man, the way she did to Sarah Kaufman.

00:56:55.000 Or not Sarah Kaufman, Sarah McMahon. 0.97

00:56:57.000 Dude, she's a beast. 1.00

00:56:58.000 And so they didn't even really concentrate on it, and she was the champion. 0.99

00:57:02.000 And I was like, well that's silly.

00:57:04.000 Like, I'm all for the showbiz part, but you're missing out on one star here.

00:57:07.000 You're focusing on your current star and missing out on an opportunity to highlight a new star.

00:57:14.000 And by the way, and that's not even, that's what I'm saying is that that isn't the showbiz way to do it.

00:57:20.000 The showbiz way to do it is to To pump up Nunes. 1.00

00:57:24.000 Yes.

00:57:24.000 And to show that when, like if Vince McMahon was running it, I know that sounds crazy, but that's what he would do.

00:57:29.000 Since he doesn't know who's going to win, he would pump up Nunes instead of Ronda.

00:57:34.000 We already know Ronda.

00:57:35.000 So when Ronda beats Nunes, it's like Ronda's back.

00:57:39.000 You know, I had heard that Vince McMahon was thinking about buying the UFC when it was for sale.

00:57:45.000 Oh, I'm sure.

00:57:45.000 You know how crazy that would have been if he took over?

00:57:47.000 He's bought all of his other competition except for boxing throughout history.

00:57:51.000 And I don't think the UFC is obviously not competition, but I think it would have been interesting to see what he would have done.

00:57:59.000 It would have been interesting to see if he would have let it keep building or if he would have just cut it out and...

00:58:05.000 Disintegrated it. 0.99

00:58:06.000 Well, it's also interesting to see whether or not it's problematic to have a guy from the showbiz side of athletics, which there's no doubt about it, those pro wrestlers are fucking athletes. 0.99

00:58:16.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:58:16.000 You can't look at Brock Lesnar and tell me he's not an athlete. 0.98

00:58:19.000 You can't look at John Cena and tell me he's not an athlete. 0.98

00:58:21.000 The Rock, all those guys, they're fucking stud athletes, no doubt about it. 0.98

00:58:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:58:25.000 I don't know, the gay guy? 1.00

00:58:27.000 Yeah, that's the guy that, yeah. 1.00

00:58:29.000 Like when Brock Lester did that 360 flip in the air and landed on his fucking head and still finished the match, like, okay, that's, if you like Cirque du Soleil and you think those people are athletes, for sure this motherfucker's a serious athlete. 0.98

00:58:43.000 But there's also the fact that it's entertainment. 0.98

00:58:46.000 So if a guy goes from that side of the business and then goes to the side of the business where it's supposed to be pure sport, which is the pure sport, MMA, right?

00:58:56.000 A sport that has always had a reputation, or at least the whispers, of being fixed.

00:59:02.000 You're always hearing about a fixed fight.

00:59:05.000 Like in Japan in particular, you heard about a bunch of fixed fights.

00:59:08.000 And there was a recent case where someone in the UFC had an offer to fix a fight, but didn't go through with it.

00:59:16.000 But there was evidence, apparently, there was a big story about a couple of weeks ago about the first evidence that someone was attempting to fix a fight.

00:59:26.000 So even though it didn't get fixed, someone had tried to put influence on someone to fix a fight, allegedly.

00:59:32.000 But in Pride, we know for a fact it happened.

00:59:34.000 I know firsthand from people that were in fixed fights.

00:59:39.000 I know from people that were told that a fight was going to be fixed for them.

00:59:43.000 So it's not speculation whether or not there was fights that have been fixed in the past.

00:59:49.000 So to have a guy like Vince McMahon come over and run things, there would have to be a very clear delineation.

00:59:54.000 I think he'd have at least really good ideas.

00:59:57.000 Oh, dude, no doubt about it. 0.99

00:59:59.000 But I know this, the Diaz brothers would be fighting, and it would be crazy shit. 0.96

01:00:03.000 It'd be Connor versus Nick after the Nate thing, and it would be... 0.97

01:00:06.000 I think you're right.

01:00:07.000 And things like that, because he knows that pop.

01:00:11.000 You know what they do is they just listen to the crowd.

01:00:14.000 Yeah.

01:00:14.000 That's how they write it.

01:00:15.000 It's not like some thing where he's going to stick to some...

01:00:18.000 Well, sometimes he does.

01:00:19.000 That's why everybody hates that one guy, Roman Reigns, because he just keeps letting him win, which is like, for the first time, a storyline that we've never even heard of.

01:00:27.000 Because the crowd hates this guy, but they keep letting him win.

01:00:30.000 So now he gets nothing but heat. 1.00

01:00:31.000 Nothing but booze, because we're like, fuck this guy, he sucks, we know you're going to let him win. 1.00

01:00:36.000 It makes no sense, so he's fucking with us really good. 1.00

01:00:39.000 But other than that guy, other than that exception, he listens to the crowd. 0.94

01:00:42.000 And like, you know, I mean, it's just another perfect example, looking back at the Nunes-Ronda thing, looking at that analogy, he would have focused on the Diaz brothers, and he would have focused on Nate Waking up and smoking a joint and going for a run.

01:00:58.000 Like, he would embrace that side of that storyline.

01:01:01.000 Because that is the interesting part.

01:01:03.000 That's what everybody's saying about, you know, the John Jones Cormier thing over at that presser is like, I did cocaine all weekend and beat you up.

01:01:15.000 But the Diaz brothers have been running triathlons while drinking tequila and smoking joints.

01:01:21.000 Like it's nothing.

01:01:22.000 Like they don't even think about that.

01:01:23.000 It's like how we have a cup of coffee in the morning.

01:01:26.000 They literally smoke a joint.

01:01:28.000 I read it in a thing.

01:01:29.000 They smoke a joint before getting up and going on a 10 mile run. 1.00

01:01:33.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

01:01:35.000 These guys are animals and that should be... 1.00

01:01:46.000 I like smoking pot.

01:01:47.000 I like drinking at night with my friends and I think I still can get my work done and do all that and have fun and be productive and that's sort of where I connect with those guys.

01:01:58.000 And why I like their style.

01:01:59.000 Granted, I'm a comedian.

01:02:00.000 It's more fitting for my lifestyle to be able to smoke pot and drink.

01:02:04.000 But I think that them being able to do all that is inspirational and goes to show you that you can have fun and work hard.

01:02:11.000 And work hard and have fun.

01:02:13.000 Yeah, they're really unusual too in that Most people associate triathletes and, you know, endurance athletes and the like, like that.

01:02:20.000 You don't think of them as, like, thugs.

01:02:22.000 You know, but you think of Nick Diaz. 0.99

01:02:24.000 You think of him as this bad motherfucker that also happens to run triathletes. 0.99

01:02:28.000 He's not, like, some granola crunching. 1.00

01:02:30.000 He's a street dude who knows how to fight.

01:02:32.000 And at the same time, he is.

01:02:34.000 You know what?

01:02:34.000 I'll have another one of those.

01:02:35.000 That'd be great.

01:02:36.000 Me too, please.

01:02:37.000 Thank you very much.

01:02:39.000 Thank you.

01:02:40.000 It's funny because, like, yeah, they go both ways to where it's like, yep, that's a He has a hilarious story about getting in a brawl in one of those things where people didn't know any better.

01:03:04.000 Like, something happened.

01:03:04.000 He was riding a bike, and he wound up getting in a fight with this other dude who's riding a bike.

01:03:08.000 And a couple dudes at the same time, it takes one dude down, gets him in a heel hook, fucks his leg up. 0.99

01:03:16.000 Beat some other dude up, got back on his bike and drove off, but just they fucked with him. 0.98

01:03:21.000 Imagine that you're in a bicycle race and you're like, you know what, I'm mad at this guy. 0.98

01:03:25.000 I'm going to start a fight with this guy.

01:03:27.000 Hey man, if you want to go looking for fights, you can find him.

01:03:29.000 There's a lot of people out there that are just looking for fights.

01:03:32.000 I mean, if I was going to look for a fight, that's where I would look for a bunch of people racing bicycles. 0.56

01:03:37.000 You'd think?

01:03:38.000 Right. 1.00

01:03:39.000 Boy, did you fuck up when you picked a fight with Nick Diaz. 1.00

01:03:41.000 You're like, look at this dude, his little bicycle shorts. 1.00

01:03:44.000 I'm going to beat his ass. 1.00

01:03:45.000 All of a sudden, you're like, why is my knee sideways? 1.00

01:03:49.000 What a crazy move to do in a street fight.

01:03:53.000 He heel hooks you, tears your knee apart.

01:03:57.000 That's what's interesting, you know, and not only that aspect, but so many more with those guys.

01:04:02.000 It's like, yeah, and they also look like street fighters that They're gonna punch you in the face, but they're also greasy, high-level, black belt, you know, jujitsu super artists, right?

01:04:15.000 Yeah, 100%.

01:04:16.000 Of the highest degree, so it's like, just because...

01:04:19.000 And I think that helps them, that perception, like, psychologically. 0.98

01:04:23.000 Like, it's like, you know, it makes you think, like, fuck this punk, but you're realizing that there's eloquent beauty coming at you in the art. 0.99

01:04:31.000 It's just because they look one way... 0.96

01:04:34.000 It's almost a distraction of like, it's almost like a Venus flytrap, how it's like all pretty and it's like, you know, the opposite, but it's like made to bring you in and then it just snaps by using its natural Element.

01:04:47.000 Well, I think it's sort of reverse, where they sort of make you think they're punks, but they're not. 0.99

01:04:51.000 They're smart as fuck, and it's a trap. 0.99

01:04:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:04:56.000 Yeah, that's a good point, man. 0.99

01:04:57.000 It's like you would think that dudes that have that kind of shit-talking attitude couldn't really fight, but they fight real good. 0.99

01:05:04.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:05:04.000 And they're real technical, and they have crazy endurance and discipline, which is what's really weird about it, is how much discipline they have. 0.98

01:05:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:05:13.000 You know, you would think a guy would talk a lot of shit, like, what's up, motherfucker? 1.00

01:05:17.000 Stockton, motherfucker. 1.00

01:05:18.000 That's not going to be a guy who can run marathons and swim back and forth from Alcatraz. 1.00

01:05:22.000 But it is.

01:05:23.000 That's what's crazy about them.

01:05:25.000 Thank you so much.

01:05:30.000 Is it okay if your voice is used in the background of a podcast?

01:05:34.000 See it again.

01:05:35.000 Is it okay if your voice is in the background of a podcast?

01:05:38.000 We're recording something.

01:05:40.000 Many people are going to listen now.

01:05:41.000 Is that okay?

01:05:42.000 That's fine.

01:05:43.000 They love it.

01:05:45.000 You have a beautiful accent.

01:05:46.000 Oh, you're sweet.

01:05:47.000 Thank you.

01:05:47.000 It's French.

01:05:49.000 It's very pretty.

01:05:50.000 What podcast is it?

01:05:51.000 It's just a comedy podcast that we do sometimes.

01:05:54.000 We do one on a plane on occasion.

01:05:57.000 Alright, thank you.

01:06:02.000 What's your name again?

01:06:03.000 Sylvie.

01:06:04.000 Thank you, Sylvie.

01:06:07.000 Sylvie's our guest for this evening, ladies and gentlemen.

01:06:10.000 You heard it.

01:06:11.000 Sylvie, a lovely lady with a beautiful accent.

01:06:17.000 They treat you nice up here in first class.

01:06:19.000 Yeah, it's fun.

01:06:20.000 Super nice.

01:06:21.000 It's a lot better than being with the peasants in the back. 0.95

01:06:24.000 Dude, I'm going to take your spoon after it was in your mouth and I'm putting it in my coffee. 1.00

01:06:27.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:06:29.000 How about that, dude? 1.00

01:06:30.000 I'm not scared as shit. 0.99

01:06:31.000 I didn't even put it in my mouth. 0.99

01:06:32.000 It was just in my cup.

01:06:33.000 But like, people will share joints, but you won't share a spoon. 1.00

01:06:37.000 What do you think you're doing, bitch? 1.00

01:06:42.000 Don't be scared. 1.00

01:06:44.000 The endurance with those guys is really wacky.

01:06:47.000 It's a big part of their success, man.

01:06:49.000 And another crazy thing is how psychologically damning the slap is.

01:06:55.000 Oh, yeah. 0.97

01:06:56.000 That bit you have about it is fucking hilarious. 0.95

01:06:59.000 It's so true. 0.84

01:07:00.000 And because of the bit, I've gotten to think about it a lot more and sort of analyze it a lot more and from different angles than just as I was as an MMA fan before.

01:07:09.000 And really figure out what it is sort of behind it.

01:07:13.000 I mean, not that I know more than anybody, but it's sort of like...

01:07:16.000 The guys, it makes you overcharge.

01:07:20.000 All of a sudden they become a matador and you're the bull by poking you like that.

01:07:26.000 Because if you punch another guy in the face, that's expected. 0.78

01:07:29.000 And if you kick your opponent in the head, that's expected.

01:07:33.000 But open hand slapping your opponent...

01:07:36.000 Like, makes people laugh at you.

01:07:38.000 And you can hear, like, laughter in the crowd.

01:07:40.000 It's a different type of roar.

01:07:42.000 Or, like, that Ric Flair woo that you hear a lot lately.

01:07:45.000 Like, woo! 0.93

01:07:46.000 Those types of pops.

01:07:48.000 I feel like, even though, you know, a lot of those guys talk about tunnel vision and this and that, they can still hear that crowd.

01:07:54.000 They feed off of that energy, just like anybody does at a live anything.

01:07:59.000 And you don't want to get slapped.

01:08:01.000 No matter what, you just don't.

01:08:05.000 When Randy Couture fought Tito Ortiz, he spanked him. 1.00

01:08:08.000 What?

01:08:09.000 Got on top of him, he stacked him.

01:08:10.000 And then when he had him stacked, he was spanking him. 0.99

01:08:13.000 And the crowd was going crazy. 0.99

01:08:16.000 Spanked his butt. 0.99

01:08:19.000 Oh, man. 1.00

01:08:22.000 It's ridiculous. 1.00

01:08:25.000 Some ridiculous shit happens in fights. 0.99

01:08:27.000 The first time Nick Diaz fought Robbie Lawler, I'll never forget it. 0.99

01:08:31.000 Because I knew about Nick.

01:08:32.000 I knew about his fights with Jeremy Jackson, who's this really talented striker that was on The Ultimate Fighter, but wound up getting in trouble.

01:08:39.000 He was in jail for something.

01:08:40.000 I forget what it is.

01:08:42.000 It might be something bad.

01:08:43.000 Like, he's in jail for a long time.

01:08:46.000 But anyway, when I first saw Nick fight Robbie Lawler, he got into the cage.

01:08:51.000 And Robbie Lawler was a phenom back then, you know?

01:08:55.000 He's probably like 20 years old, 21 years old. 1.00

01:08:57.000 And Nick just starts going, Stockton, motherfucker! 0.99

01:09:00.000 And Robbie's like, what is this dude saying? 1.00

01:09:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:09:04.000 He's like, come on, bitch. 1.00

01:09:06.000 Come on, bitch. 1.00

01:09:07.000 And while he's calling a bitch, you can see Robbie Lawler's head like, I can't believe this dude is calling me bitch. 1.00

01:09:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:09:12.000 Like, I can't believe he's telling me a bitch. 1.00

01:09:14.000 He's, like, trying to get you emotional, and he got inside Robbie's head a little bit. 0.99

01:09:18.000 Oh, yeah.

01:09:19.000 Oh, he got inside Connor's head, too.

01:09:22.000 They don't want to show you those clips over and over again.

01:09:24.000 Well, Nick never fought Connor.

01:09:25.000 No, I know him.

01:09:26.000 But if Nick did fight Connor, Connor would be in a lot of trouble.

01:09:29.000 Nick's a different animal.

01:09:31.000 I was saying that would be a really interesting fight.

01:09:34.000 And everybody's like, Nick Diaz is so much bigger.

01:09:37.000 I'm like, look, Nick Diaz fought 155 pounds.

01:09:40.000 Nick Diaz can get to 170, no problem.

01:09:42.000 Conor fights at 170. That is the fight.

01:09:45.000 Or Nate.

01:09:46.000 That is the fight.

01:09:47.000 Yeah.

01:09:48.000 The Shamrock versus the Pot Leaf.

01:09:50.000 Yeah, look, I like the idea of them coming.

01:09:52.000 That's a good...

01:09:52.000 I like that, dude.

01:09:53.000 I like that.

01:09:54.000 Marketing, baby.

01:09:55.000 Dude, look at Kimmy Knuckles on that. 1.00

01:09:57.000 Shamrock and the Pot Leaf.

01:09:58.000 That's strong.

01:09:59.000 Come on, Dana White.

01:10:01.000 Yeah, they need to hire you.

01:10:02.000 You've got some great ideas.

01:10:03.000 Would you be interested in trying to turn this ship around?

01:10:06.000 Absolutely.

01:10:07.000 This battleship is taking on some damage.

01:10:08.000 Oh, I'd be so angry.

01:10:10.000 We lost Rhonda, got some water damage.

01:10:13.000 I'm not even kidding.

01:10:14.000 A, I would love that, and B, I would actually enjoy it.

01:10:19.000 We should have a meeting.

01:10:21.000 We should have a meeting.

01:10:22.000 Because I'm such a fan of both UFC and entertainment that my brain naturally questions that stuff.

01:10:30.000 Yeah, you gotta do another fight companion.

01:10:32.000 Those are so much fun.

01:10:33.000 I miss those.

01:10:34.000 We haven't had a chance to do one of those in so long.

01:10:36.000 That's literally like...

01:10:37.000 I think a lot of guys back in the day when it was just TV used to want to be on like...

01:10:43.000 The Late Show with David Letterman and stuff.

01:10:46.000 Literally, my goal is to do more Fight Companions.

01:10:51.000 They're so fun.

01:10:52.000 It's like the coolest thing.

01:10:54.000 Yeah, they're so fun, man.

01:10:56.000 They're the most fun.

01:10:58.000 Learn some of that flat earth jujitsu you guys are talking about.

01:11:03.000 They do go off the rails when the booze gets flowing.

01:11:06.000 There's just no doubt about it.

01:11:08.000 On both sides.

01:11:09.000 Everybody's side.

01:11:10.000 It's just people get so crazy when the booze starts flowing.

01:11:13.000 It's so fun.

01:11:14.000 But it's the best way to watch fights because you're not interrupting anybody. 0.98

01:11:18.000 It's not like you're talking a lot of shit while you're in the arena and the other people are trying to enjoy the fight. 0.97

01:11:22.000 It's just the comfort of your own little studio there. 1.00

01:11:25.000 You're talking shit with your friends, and people don't have... 0.99

01:11:27.000 Like, if I did that during commentary, it would be incredibly disrespectful. 1.00

01:11:32.000 Like, if I wasn't watching the fights, and we were talking about UFOs or pussy or feet... 0.99

01:11:38.000 Like Bigfoot or whatever the fuck we're talking about. 0.99

01:11:41.000 Yeah, you keep it on the fights. 0.98

01:11:42.000 Even yesterday, I noticed that I mentioned JRE and you're like, let's talk about the fight.

01:11:47.000 That was a crazy moment.

01:11:48.000 Oh, it was nice. 1.00

01:11:49.000 Yeah, Jason Knight, crazy motherfucker. 1.00

01:11:51.000 You're slipping, Joe. 1.00

01:11:53.000 How come I ain't been on the Joe experience?

01:11:56.000 These companions are fun.

01:11:57.000 We just did a companion with...

01:12:15.000 I'm supposed to do a soccer companion with Ian too.

01:12:19.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:12:20.000 Why don't you just do a sleeping companion?

01:12:22.000 No, no, no. 0.99

01:12:22.000 We're going to get high as fuck, and we're going to talk some shit about soccer, and you're going with me, too. 0.99

01:12:26.000 Okay. 0.99

01:12:27.000 See, Ian knows a lot about soccer.

01:12:30.000 Really?

01:12:30.000 Oh, yeah.

01:12:31.000 Ian Edwards is a real soccer fan.

01:12:33.000 He does a soccer podcast with some other dude.

01:12:36.000 I forget who it is.

01:12:38.000 See, I think soccer's fake.

01:12:40.000 Some people think wrestling's fake.

01:12:41.000 I think soccer's fake.

01:12:44.000 I'm here to tell you. 1.00

01:12:46.000 It's real as fuck, dude. 0.99

01:12:47.000 They definitely have some fake moments in soccer, I'll tell you that. 0.99

01:12:50.000 Like when guys accidentally barely get touched in the face, they fall down like they got shot. 1.00

01:12:55.000 There's a lot of bitch shit that goes on in soccer games. 1.00

01:12:58.000 I mean, and I say bitch shit with all disrespect to the bitches out there. 1.00

01:13:03.000 All disrespect? 1.00

01:13:04.000 All respect, rather.

01:13:05.000 Whatever.

01:13:05.000 You ever seen a team that got possessed by demons?

01:13:08.000 Oh, that's my team, bro.

01:13:13.000 Yeah, I gave them the Santa Rhea before.

01:13:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:13:16.000 I told them we're going to win this shit at all costs. 1.00

01:13:19.000 Some scary shit. 1.00

01:13:21.000 That's when you know someone's retarded, when they believe in demons. 1.00

01:13:25.000 Like, it's a funny thing.

01:13:27.000 I used to have a bit about this.

01:13:28.000 I need to bring it back.

01:13:29.000 But the bit was that, like, you can talk about God you want, and all you want, and nobody freaks out.

01:13:37.000 But if you start talking about the devil, people go, what?

01:13:40.000 And the bit was that, like, George Bush can go...

01:13:44.000 May God bless our troops in Afghanistan.

01:13:47.000 And everybody goes, that's a beautiful sentiment.

01:13:50.000 But if he says, we've located the devil, he's in Pakistan, he's in the mountains, and we are going to knock him out of existence, and evil will end on earth.

01:13:58.000 You'd be like, what?

01:13:59.000 Hold on.

01:14:00.000 Wait a minute.

01:14:01.000 Hold on.

01:14:01.000 The actual devil?

01:14:03.000 Like, you found the devil and you're going to go shoot him? 0.98

01:14:05.000 Is that what you just said? 1.00

01:14:06.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

01:14:08.000 You think there's a real devil? 1.00

01:14:09.000 Like, if someone was on TV and they started talking about the will of God, we wouldn't have a problem with it.

01:14:14.000 But if they started talking about the devil having influence on all the events of the world and that we have to repent and we have to realize the Christian way is the only path to...

01:14:25.000 Like, whoa! 1.00

01:14:25.000 People would go, what the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

01:14:27.000 The devil? 0.99

01:14:28.000 That's the one aspect of Christianity that in 2017 is super touch and go with the populace.

01:14:35.000 That's real fringe stuff.

01:14:38.000 Which shows you how the religion is sort of evolving in a weird way. 0.58

01:14:42.000 It's moving away from the most ridiculous thing To the least, like the least ridiculous thing is like this universe is so big. 0.56

01:14:48.000 It's so infinite.

01:14:50.000 What are the likelihood that something's far more powerful than us created it?

01:14:53.000 Probably, man.

01:14:54.000 Who knows?

01:14:54.000 Makes sense.

01:14:55.000 And what if God is love and love that binds us together and creates everything that is life and all the building blocks of life and it's all this one...

01:15:04.000 Infinite plan that's too complex for us to understand.

01:15:07.000 We can call it God.

01:15:08.000 Okay, I'll buy that.

01:15:09.000 I'm a smart guy.

01:15:09.000 I'll buy a non-secular or a secular God.

01:15:13.000 But when you start talking about the devil, like an actual devil, like an actual demon that is tempting you into doing bad things, like come on, bitch. 1.00

01:15:21.000 I can't do this with you. 1.00

01:15:23.000 Like that's too ridiculous for people today. 0.98

01:15:26.000 Totally. 0.96

01:15:26.000 It's crazy that video that you... 0.96

01:15:29.000 Tweeted out a couple days ago that had the entire history of the universe in 10 minutes.

01:15:34.000 Wasn't that amazing?

01:15:35.000 So amazing. 0.98

01:15:36.000 And it just goes to show you how silly religion is because it's like Three minutes into the video, for ten seconds, it's just like, Jesus is born! 0.98

01:15:43.000 Jesus existed! 0.99

01:15:44.000 You worship Jesus!

01:15:45.000 Jesus died!

01:15:47.000 Yeah, and all the other religions too.

01:15:49.000 Yeah, but it was just one small part of such a huge millions of years and hundreds of thousands of gaps of space in between.

01:15:58.000 You know what I was horrified by in that video?

01:16:01.000 How little I knew about what he was talking about.

01:16:04.000 Yeah, the empires and the dynasties.

01:16:05.000 Oh, I was like, what?

01:16:06.000 Oh my God.

01:16:07.000 Who?

01:16:07.000 How many?

01:16:08.000 What happened?

01:16:09.000 Yeah.

01:16:09.000 Wow, okay, that's what happened?

01:16:11.000 Yeah.

01:16:11.000 Like, I really need to, like, get a comprehensive, some sort of a book that'll give me, like, a great world history that's something that's easy to follow.

01:16:22.000 Or, you know what I need to do, man?

01:16:23.000 I need to listen to Dan Carlin more, listen to Hardcore History.

01:16:27.000 Yeah.

01:16:28.000 But see, there's just some, there's so much history.

01:16:31.000 I mean, if you go back thousands of years, like Mesopotamia to today, how many different things do you have to be aware of?

01:16:38.000 How many different events?

01:16:39.000 I think about this stuff when I'm out there in Joshua Tree in the middle of the desert.

01:16:43.000 I just took one of those trips a few weeks ago.

01:16:46.000 I'm looking around at these rocks, like sort of by myself, these crazy beautiful mountain ranges that don't even look real. 0.98

01:16:54.000 And I'm thinking, like, what the fuck have you been doing all this time? 0.62

01:16:58.000 Like, yeah, I'm like, you know, not talking to them, but literally, like, wondering. 0.98

01:17:03.000 So they just, it's like, everything's always changing.

01:17:08.000 It is just as, like, I see new and temporary to those mountains.

01:17:13.000 Like, you watch that video of the history of the world, and all of a sudden you realize those mountains are just...

01:17:18.000 As temporary as a blurb of lava, but it just doesn't seem temporary to us because our time frame is messed up. 0.97

01:17:26.000 But all that shit used to be underground. 0.94

01:17:29.000 Like, that's just all molten rock from before. 0.92

01:17:34.000 And it's just amazing, like, the perspective switch on everything.

01:17:38.000 Everything is something else entirely. 0.99

01:17:40.000 That shit was all underwater. 1.00

01:17:42.000 And it was all in the mantle. 1.00

01:17:44.000 It was all in the center of the Earth.

01:17:45.000 Now it's high up above me. 0.99

01:17:48.000 It's all fucking like crazy. 0.93

01:17:51.000 I mean, obviously I was deep on mushrooms while having these thoughts, but that's what it took to get it out. 0.99

01:17:57.000 Yeah, it sometimes takes something like that just to give you a new perspective on it.

01:18:02.000 Have you ever been to Hawaii?

01:18:03.000 Not yet.

01:18:04.000 Oh, you gotta go.

01:18:05.000 I've been planning on it.

01:18:07.000 Frank Castillo just went.

01:18:09.000 I'm super jealous.

01:18:10.000 He took his gross battle winnings and took his girl to Hawaii in the pictures.

01:18:14.000 Just everything looks so fun.

01:18:17.000 Dude, it's amazing there.

01:18:19.000 It's amazing.

01:18:20.000 It's a volcano.

01:18:23.000 There's a series of volcanoes in the middle of the ocean that are popping up, and there's more of them that are building up around it.

01:18:28.000 There's like a museum that you can go to.

01:18:30.000 They show you the history of Hawaii, how it was created, and they also show you the surrounding islands, and I guess it would be like lava vents or lava-like volcanoes that are underwater right now that are building up and eventually break the surface of the water.

01:18:47.000 But they've actually spotted, I think, I can't remember what part, I think it was in the South Pacific, where they actually watched islands get born.

01:18:55.000 They saw volcanic activity and were there while islands were breaking the surface of the water.

01:19:02.000 Like, you can actually see it in some places.

01:19:04.000 And I'm pretty sure they have video of it.

01:19:06.000 You know, it's basically just breaching the surface of the water.

01:19:09.000 But that's how an island is born.

01:19:11.000 And that's what Hawaii is.

01:19:13.000 Yeah.

01:19:14.000 And then, like, once you go above that water, you're probably never going back, right?

01:19:17.000 No.

01:19:19.000 I don't think so.

01:19:20.000 I mean, who knows?

01:19:21.000 I mean, maybe millions of years later, it flattens out again, or it becomes like Yellowstone, and it blows up, and the whole top pops off of it. 1.00

01:19:29.000 That's the nuttiest shit, dude. 0.99

01:19:31.000 Supervolcanoes? 1.00

01:19:32.000 Dude, they think that a supervolcano...

01:19:34.000 I want to say...

01:19:36.000 I'm trying to think of how many thousands of years ago.

01:19:39.000 I forget how many thousands of years ago.

01:19:41.000 It might have been, like, 60,000 years ago.

01:19:43.000 They think that the human race might have gotten down to as few as a few thousand people.

01:19:48.000 Man.

01:19:49.000 Yeah.

01:19:50.000 That these super volcanoes, when they blow, they kill enormous amounts of things.

01:19:56.000 People, animals.

01:19:58.000 But we're so weak, bro. 0.99

01:20:00.000 When we have to live in the natural world, we have to try to hoof it out there with the bears and the moose and shit. 0.99

01:20:05.000 We don't make it, man. 0.98

01:20:07.000 We're only...

01:20:07.000 Like, we have been living with clothes on and with fire for so long.

01:20:13.000 We're such bitches. 1.00

01:20:15.000 Like, even cave people were bitches compared to animals. 1.00

01:20:18.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:20:18.000 You know? 0.99

01:20:19.000 You still need a cave. 0.99

01:20:20.000 Like, by figuring out caves and by figuring out fire and how to stay warm, we fucked ourselves. 0.99

01:20:27.000 It's probably what made us smarter. 0.96

01:20:30.000 When we first manipulated our environment, when we first figured out how to manipulate our environment, there's been a bunch of different stages of it.

01:20:38.000 But one different stage of it was shelter.

01:20:40.000 So you could be safe.

01:20:42.000 So the animals weren't picking off the soft ones.

01:20:45.000 So people didn't get as hard as they were before they had shelter.

01:20:49.000 They had some people that survived that maybe wouldn't have survived a few decades ago or a few generations ago or before they figured out caves. 0.99

01:20:56.000 So those people get to fuck. 1.00

01:20:57.000 And those soft bitches make more soft bitches. 1.00

01:20:59.000 And then they figure out weapons. 1.00

01:21:01.000 And then people survive even further.

01:21:03.000 And they don't ever get a chance to be...

01:21:06.000 Imagine if people would be people with the brains of people with the bodies of gorillas. 0.96

01:21:13.000 That's what I was just gonna say.

01:21:14.000 If we didn't invent fire, we'd probably be covered in hair and barking.

01:21:18.000 Yeah.

01:21:19.000 Well, it's a compromise, because in becoming softer and softer, we become smarter and smarter, right?

01:21:24.000 Like, you don't associate Elon Musk with being the most shredded barbarian on Earth, right? 0.99

01:21:31.000 No, you associate him with being a gentleman in a nice suit and a tie.

01:21:35.000 He was a reasonable human body, right?

01:21:38.000 But when you think about Like someone who's like just a super conqueror, like some Brock Lesnar type dude. 0.96

01:21:46.000 You don't think of Brock Lesnar inventing some new way to manipulate traffic in Los Angeles to cut down commute time from Santa Monica to LAX to three minutes, going 130 miles an hour in a fucking sled underground. 0.85

01:21:57.000 Let's put it too this way. 0.96

01:21:59.000 I'm not taking Brock Lesnar's rocket to the moon.

01:22:06.000 That's perfect!

01:22:07.000 That's the perfect way to describe it.

01:22:10.000 That's the perfect way to describe it.

01:22:12.000 The bracket.

01:22:13.000 Yeah.

01:22:14.000 So it's like, as we become more and more civilized, and more and more innovative, figuring out new ways to stockpile food, we just get softer and softer and softer.

01:22:27.000 So when something goes wrong, like, boom, a fucking volcano blows up, and you lose everything, and it's like, there's no sun anymore, you can't grow food anymore, you gotta go find things to eat in the woods, everybody dies.

01:22:40.000 Like, almost nobody left. 0.75

01:22:42.000 They got down to a few thousand people.

01:22:44.000 And they say that it happens in North America every six to eight hundred thousand years, that Yellowstone just blows.

01:22:51.000 You know, they didn't even know about this until satellites.

01:22:54.000 When they had satellites, as soon as they started looking at images in the Yellowstone region, there was a theory of it being a caldera volcano.

01:23:03.000 And then they confirmed it, that the whole Yellowstone, I guess they would call it a basin, the Yellowstone basin, Is really one giant crater from a volcano that was so big the top blows off and lava shoots like a mile out of the sky or some shit and it just blocks out everything. 0.88

01:23:20.000 It's like the ultimate super earth zit. 0.96

01:23:23.000 That's crazy.

01:23:24.000 Have you ever seen that website on Instagram page, Dr. Pimple Popper?

01:23:30.000 Yeah.

01:23:30.000 You've never seen it?

01:23:31.000 No.

01:23:32.000 It's hilarious.

01:23:32.000 Is this chick?

01:23:34.000 She's a doctor, but she's a dermatologist. 0.92

01:23:36.000 And all she does is, like, lance cysts and squeeze them out. 1.00

01:23:41.000 You can't look away.

01:23:43.000 No.

01:23:43.000 You can't look away.

01:23:45.000 I know.

01:23:45.000 I've watched those videos, but not like that.

01:23:48.000 I haven't followed that person yet.

01:23:50.000 But I've gone off on YouTube tangents of that.

01:23:53.000 Of just deep pushing and just watching it squirt out. 0.51

01:23:58.000 I don't know why I can't stop watching, but it is interesting. 0.99

01:24:02.000 Whatever goes on deep in our bodies is fucking disgusting. 0.98

01:24:06.000 Well, she's amazing at it because she's a doctor and she has fun with it. 0.99

01:24:10.000 So it's hilarious.

01:24:12.000 She has funny captions on her little Instagram account. 0.98

01:24:15.000 It's fucking hilarious, dude. 0.98

01:24:17.000 And she has exploders. 1.00

01:24:19.000 She's cutting holes on people's heads and squeezing out like a banana of pus. 1.00

01:24:25.000 And I'm not even exaggerating. 0.99

01:24:26.000 It's disgusting. 0.77

01:24:27.000 Some people's bodies are just nasty. 0.93

01:24:29.000 They just have these, like, literal softballs on the side of their face. 1.00

01:24:34.000 And she cuts them and squeezes out all this yellow shit and blackheads the size of your fist. 1.00

01:24:39.000 It's so nasty. 1.00

01:24:41.000 I'll watch it if you insist.

01:24:44.000 It's one of your puns upon. 0.99

01:24:47.000 That's all my shitty puns. 0.99

01:24:49.000 Get it? 0.99

01:24:50.000 Sist! 0.99

01:24:51.000 Get it?

01:24:52.000 Sist! 0.99

01:24:54.000 But that's like what the supervolcano is to the Earth.

01:24:57.000 It's just like this giant exploding pus of lava.

01:25:01.000 And it happens all the time, man, in terms of like the history of the Earth.

01:25:05.000 It happens every six to eight hundred thousand years.

01:25:09.000 They have thousands of earthquakes in Yellowstone every year.

01:25:12.000 Thousands.

01:25:13.000 Like little rumbles.

01:25:16.000 The Comedian Earthquake was at the Comedy Store last week.

01:25:19.000 You ever seen him? 1.00

01:25:20.000 He's a bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:25:22.000 He's a good dude, too. 1.00

01:25:23.000 He's a really friendly guy.

01:25:25.000 One of the coolest stories.

01:25:27.000 He's one of the coolest not completely mainstream famous comedians I know of.

01:25:33.000 And I remember working the door at the comedy store.

01:25:35.000 He's pretty famous.

01:25:36.000 Ten years ago.

01:25:37.000 I guess.

01:25:38.000 You're just white. 0.98

01:25:39.000 I mean, I guess. 1.00

01:25:40.000 In the black community, Earthquake is a monster. 1.00

01:25:43.000 Yeah, in the black community. 1.00

01:25:44.000 That's different. 1.00

01:25:45.000 White people are lame. 1.00

01:25:46.000 Let's just face it. 1.00

01:25:47.000 Exactly.

01:25:48.000 But man, do white people laugh at Earthquake.

01:25:50.000 Yeah.

01:25:50.000 And the point is, I didn't know about him until I was a door guy at the store, and then all of a sudden somebody's like, Earthquake's popping in.

01:25:57.000 And a pop-in at the comedy store, if you don't know, like, there's already a set lineup, so you have to be, like, a monster.

01:26:02.000 Like, if Dave Chappelle comes in or Seinfeld, they're, like, they're poppin' in.

01:26:06.000 But somebody's, like, earthquake's poppin' in. 0.98

01:26:07.000 I'm like, what the fuck is an earthquake? 0.94

01:26:10.000 But man, the other guy literally got that name because they said that when he used to perform in Atlanta, the ground would shake. 0.97

01:26:18.000 It's true, dude.

01:26:19.000 What a beast. 0.99

01:26:20.000 He's like a black Joey Diaz, sort of. 0.96

01:26:23.000 Yeah, he's a very, very funny dude.

01:26:26.000 And, you know, Earthquake, he's been around, man.

01:26:30.000 He's been killing for a long time.

01:26:32.000 There's nothing more fun than finding out there's a freak you didn't know about.

01:26:36.000 You know what else is cool?

01:26:37.000 Meeting him and he's a nice guy. 0.97

01:26:39.000 That's nice when you run into someone like an earthquake or someone you respect and think they're really funny and they're cool as fuck too.

01:26:46.000 That's, you know, one of the nicest things.

01:26:48.000 And that's one thing, like comedians that don't have other comedian friends are always so weird to me.

01:26:55.000 I only know a few of them, but they're so weird.

01:26:59.000 I have a handful of non-comedian friends, and I see them very rarely.

01:27:04.000 It's fun, I mean, we have fun, but...

01:27:06.000 I mean, I really can't let it rip unless it's a comedian. 0.99

01:27:13.000 Especially one that's having fun and fucking working a lot. 0.98

01:27:16.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:27:17.000 No, I do know what you mean.

01:27:19.000 But I have a lot of friends that aren't comedians because I feel like it balances me out a little bit.

01:27:23.000 Yeah, you're like a real superhuman, though. 0.99

01:27:25.000 You have, like, hunting buddies and shit. 0.99

01:27:27.000 I don't have that. 1.00

01:27:28.000 I have, like, fucking pro wrestling buddies. 0.98

01:27:30.000 My hunting buddies are some of my favorite friends. 0.99

01:27:33.000 Yeah.

01:27:33.000 They experience life.

01:27:35.000 Your hunting buddies are some of my favorite friends.

01:27:37.000 Like, I mean, that's how small my world is.

01:27:39.000 I love, like, Cam and those guys.

01:27:41.000 John Dudley.

01:27:42.000 Yeah.

01:27:43.000 Rivets.

01:27:43.000 Yeah, the Rivets.

01:27:44.000 Yeah, they're really good people, man.

01:27:46.000 My friend Adam Greentree from Australia.

01:27:48.000 Mm-hmm.

01:27:49.000 Did you make fun with him when I was there?

01:27:51.000 Yeah, we had a good time up there, man. 0.98

01:27:53.000 In Melbourne, god damn, that was fun. 0.96

01:27:55.000 Adam Greentree is the salt of the earth. 0.98

01:27:57.000 But it's like all those guys, they've experienced an intense form of life and adversity.

01:28:04.000 They're hunters, and they're bow hunters, which is even more intense.

01:28:07.000 Guys like Dudley and guys like Cam, they don't have a chip on their shoulder.

01:28:12.000 They don't have to...

01:28:22.000 I'm wearing this shirt today.

01:28:25.000 See this shirt I'm wearing?

01:28:28.000 This is Eastman's bowhunting shirt they sent me.

01:28:31.000 It's a bowhunting magazine and a podcast.

01:28:36.000 Eastman's Elevated is this podcast that I listen to on bowhunting.

01:28:39.000 And I was thinking about it, like these people that pursue it the way...

01:28:43.000 This guy from the Eastman Elevated podcast, his name's Brian Barney, or the way Cam Haynes does it, or the way John Dudley does it, or Adam Greentree.

01:28:51.000 They're like...

01:28:52.000 It's not just like they're hunters.

01:28:54.000 They're also like athletes.

01:28:56.000 Like, this is a very difficult pursuit.

01:28:59.000 It's not what everybody thinks it is.

01:29:01.000 Like, it's not just as simple as finding an animal, shooting with an arrow.

01:29:04.000 Like, getting to the position where you can shoot an animal with an arrow, you have to be physically fit.

01:29:08.000 It's hard to do. 0.99

01:29:09.000 You gotta get up a giant fucking hill. 0.99

01:29:11.000 You gotta be able to get there in time. 0.99

01:29:13.000 You gotta be patient.

01:29:14.000 You gotta be knowledgeable.

01:29:15.000 You gotta be quiet.

01:29:16.000 You gotta be stealthy.

01:29:17.000 You gotta be skillful.

01:29:18.000 You gotta be able to handle pressure.

01:29:20.000 You gotta be able to handle your nerves. 0.99

01:29:22.000 When you're ready to make this shot on an animal's life with a bow and arrow, there's a lot of shit going on, man. 0.99

01:29:26.000 You've got to be safe. 1.00

01:29:27.000 You're up in the mountains by yourself.

01:29:29.000 You've got to be aware.

01:29:30.000 There's predators out there, like real mountain lions, bears.

01:29:33.000 You're running into grizzlies.

01:29:34.000 You know what I was thinking the other day?

01:29:35.000 How do you guys eat when you're out there?

01:29:37.000 Bring food.

01:29:38.000 You bring food.

01:29:39.000 Like sandwiches?

01:29:40.000 No, you bring...

01:29:41.000 Well, there's one company that I actually had the owner on my podcast. 0.99

01:29:46.000 God damn it. 0.99

01:29:48.000 What the fuck is Chris's last name? 1.00

01:29:50.000 I gotta Google his last name now because if I don't, I'm gonna feel mad at myself. 0.99

01:29:57.000 But he's got this company called Green Belly Meals.

01:30:00.000 Let me find it.

01:30:04.000 Does the smell of the food make more animals come out?

01:30:09.000 No, I mean it can. 1.00

01:30:12.000 Shit. 0.99

01:30:14.000 Now I feel like I have to log on and find his name. 0.99

01:30:19.000 Maybe I'll have it on this.

01:30:23.000 Anyway, I forget his last name.

01:30:25.000 I apologize, dude.

01:30:26.000 You're a good guy.

01:30:26.000 I don't mean to diss you by forgetting your name.

01:30:31.000 He wrote a book, too, on the Appalachian Trail.

01:30:34.000 I just had him on. 0.99

01:30:35.000 I'm such a fucking space cadet. 0.99

01:30:37.000 The problem is in the morning, tell me if you feel like this, when you have to get up early in the morning and, like, take a flight, my brain literally works on, like, 30% of its capacity. 0.99

01:30:48.000 Yeah, we're built like that now.

01:30:50.000 Our brains are supposed to turn on when we have something going on.

01:30:54.000 I'm going to find him on my little podcast list here.

01:31:01.000 We got him in here.

01:31:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:31:04.000 No, I'm just fucking stupid, dude. 1.00

01:31:06.000 Yeah, remember when I said that Ian Rumble Johnson knocks airplanes out of the air or something like that? 1.00

01:31:12.000 Yeah.

01:31:14.000 Oh, okay.

01:31:15.000 Chris Cage.

01:31:16.000 That's his name.

01:31:17.000 Sorry, Chris.

01:31:19.000 Yeah, it happens. 1.00

01:31:20.000 You fuck up. 0.99

01:31:21.000 But my point being, he makes these meal bars called Green Belly Meal Bars, and they're super dense. 1.00

01:31:29.000 You have one packet.

01:31:30.000 It's one-third of your nutritional requirements.

01:31:33.000 Really heavy in calories and like you want to take stuff like that stuff that's dense like take people take a lot of almond butter and peanut butter like healthy fats There's a company that I really like called fat fudge and they make this this woman she makes Mary she makes these Little packets,

01:31:50.000 and they're like paleo fudge.

01:31:52.000 It's got MCT oil in it and raw cocoa, and it's really good for you.

01:31:57.000 It's, again, like real healthy fats.

01:31:59.000 You want to take things that are real calorie dense.

01:32:02.000 Cheese is good.

01:32:04.000 Salami is good.

01:32:05.000 Some people like to take candy bars.

01:32:08.000 They like some simple sugar.

01:32:09.000 They're really crashing to pick them back up.

01:32:12.000 Because the demands are pretty extreme.

01:32:14.000 And the demands on your body, and I think that's one of the things people underestimate.

01:32:18.000 When you're going like 12,000 feet elevation, 13,000 feet elevation, The air is super thin.

01:32:25.000 You're carrying a pack.

01:32:26.000 If you have a rifle, the rifle's heavy.

01:32:28.000 And you're hiking, and you're going up these steep, steep hills, and you're doing it for many, many miles to try to get into position wherever the animals are.

01:32:35.000 And if you're bow hunting, you know, you've got to do that, and then you have to draw your bow back, steady yourself, and execute a shot when you're holding your bow.

01:32:44.000 It gets difficult.

01:32:45.000 You're holding it freehand.

01:32:46.000 With a rifle, at least you can rest on something.

01:32:48.000 You can rest it on a log, and all you have to do is just squeeze slowly and evenly and pull the trigger.

01:32:54.000 You're so much more of a man than I am.

01:32:57.000 I use all the cheat codes on Grand Theft Auto when I play it.

01:33:01.000 I don't even work my way through the missions on that.

01:33:05.000 Well, dude, you do stand-up.

01:33:06.000 Stand-up is one of the hardest things for your brain that you could do as far as, like, dealing with pressure.

01:33:12.000 This is coming from someone who's, you know, I know you wrestled in high school, so you had some one-on-one competition that was nerve-wracking when you were young, and, you know, and I did a little bit of wrestling in high school, and then I fought in martial arts tournaments for a long time, and all those things are scary and nerve-wracking,

01:33:28.000 but comedy is almost as scary, at least was, like doing it the first time.

01:33:35.000 I was so scared the first time I did it.

01:33:37.000 And you do that.

01:33:37.000 No, and it never ends.

01:33:38.000 I mean, when you push yourself, I mean, you know what I mean, like we do.

01:33:42.000 It never ends.

01:33:43.000 I mean, there's nights, probably tonight, when the lineup ends up falling how it falls, I'm going to be...

01:33:49.000 You're on at 115. Right.

01:33:52.000 Whatever ends up happening, I'm going to be...

01:33:54.000 It is a fight.

01:33:55.000 Last week, you know, last week I remember I had my best Tuesday spot in my life.

01:34:00.000 And it was like, you know, 11pm or something like that.

01:34:03.000 Kevin Hart pops in, does an hour.

01:34:05.000 I end up judging Rose Battle. 0.85

01:34:08.000 He popped in and did an hour?

01:34:09.000 An hour.

01:34:10.000 On a pop-in.

01:34:11.000 Which is just a devastating blow.

01:34:14.000 That means that everybody, including myself, is going on an hour later, plus the audience is drained, extra drained from watching one person do an hour when the rest of the show was fundamentally cut up for 15 minutes.

01:34:27.000 That alone makes it A drag.

01:34:30.000 That's interesting.

01:34:31.000 I didn't know guys were doing that now.

01:34:32.000 I didn't know they were allowing guys to do a whole hour when they pop in.

01:34:35.000 Kevin Hart's on that weird...

01:34:36.000 You really shouldn't do that, though.

01:34:39.000 Oh, I agree. 0.98

01:34:40.000 That fucks with a lot. 0.99

01:34:41.000 If it's a regular night, was it a regular... 0.99

01:34:42.000 It was Tuesday, is that what you said?

01:34:43.000 Yeah.

01:34:44.000 Yeah, that's not really that cool because, like, it's cool that he comes in.

01:34:48.000 That's for sure cool.

01:34:49.000 But a whole hour...

01:34:50.000 Well, that's the part of the...

01:34:51.000 Where Tommy...

01:34:52.000 People thought Tommy was insane back in the day because he would literally go off on stuff like that. 0.98

01:34:57.000 What are you, crazy? 0.93

01:34:58.000 You think you could do an hour here? 1.00

01:34:59.000 This is Mitzi's club! 1.00

01:35:00.000 You know, he was nuts with that shit. 1.00

01:35:02.000 I think he was probably the only one that would talk to people like that. 1.00

01:35:08.000 Dude, I'm gonna pee, so we're gonna pause this.

01:35:11.000 I know, folks, I never pee during podcasts, but I've been drinking a lot of water.

01:35:17.000 I'm trying to hydrate myself more, and right now it's a problem.

01:35:20.000 So we'll be right back.

01:35:22.000 Alright, we're back, ladies and gentlemen.

01:35:24.000 You know what technology, where they've really been slacking, Is in the innovation of making airline bathrooms not smell like poo.

01:35:32.000 Yeah, it always smells like poop.

01:35:34.000 Specifically poop.

01:35:36.000 Yeah, because someone's pooping into a hole in the ground.

01:35:38.000 Yeah.

01:35:39.000 And it's not even really a toilet bowl.

01:35:40.000 It's not wishy-washy water.

01:35:42.000 You're plopping a log right down on an aluminum siding.

01:35:46.000 It's like if you were doing, like...

01:35:48.000 It's like those koala daycare things where you pull the table down. 0.97

01:35:52.000 Oh, yeah.

01:35:53.000 It's like eating breakfast off one of those.

01:35:55.000 That's what an airport restaurant is like.

01:35:57.000 And people love pooping on flights, by the way.

01:36:01.000 It's like...

01:36:01.000 Well, they get nervous.

01:36:04.000 It's crazy.

01:36:04.000 People get nervous, they have to poo.

01:36:06.000 There's people like, you know, the seatbelt sign goes off and a guy just goes and takes a dump.

01:36:10.000 It's like, dude, we're going to Vegas, bro.

01:36:12.000 It's like a 35 minute flight.

01:36:14.000 You can't hold on.

01:36:16.000 Some people can't. 1.00

01:36:17.000 We're already making our descent and you have to go take a shit right now? 1.00

01:36:20.000 Some people can't, man. 1.00

01:36:22.000 Some people can't.

01:36:27.000 These virgin stewardesses are always very flirtatious. 1.00

01:36:32.000 Are they flirting with you? 0.90

01:36:33.000 Well, not this one, but the one on the flight out here.

01:36:36.000 You liked her, didn't you?

01:36:38.000 Loved her.

01:36:39.000 You did, didn't you?

01:36:40.000 These virgin ladies are not virgins at all.

01:36:44.000 They're beat up. 0.80

01:36:45.000 How dare you?

01:36:46.000 See, you know what happened there?

01:36:47.000 In a good way.

01:36:48.000 You stumbled on the word virgin and you tried to recover, like, something extra hard.

01:36:53.000 Oh, look who's upset that I'm talking about this.

01:36:57.000 She's like, return to your seat for your seat, Feltan. 1.00

01:36:59.000 Stop talking shit about my wife. 1.00

01:37:01.000 Shut your mouth. 1.00

01:37:03.000 Oh, you don't like me, but you like the girl from the other flight? 1.00

01:37:09.000 Yeah.

01:37:11.000 Anyway.

01:37:13.000 Texas is a badass place, isn't it?

01:37:15.000 Yeah.

01:37:15.000 I love doing shows in Dallas.

01:37:17.000 I've been having so much fun this year in Texas.

01:37:20.000 I've already been here a few times, back and forth, Austin, Houston, Dallas.

01:37:24.000 One of the best comedy states in the country.

01:37:26.000 No doubt.

01:37:26.000 I've never been to San Antonio.

01:37:28.000 I heard that's great too.

01:37:28.000 A lot of guys like working there.

01:37:30.000 I was just there in January.

01:37:31.000 Got to take all my buddies.

01:37:32.000 We went to the Royal Rumble.

01:37:33.000 It was a lot of fun.

01:37:34.000 We ran into Ron White.

01:37:35.000 Some lady showed up on a Saturday night at the club. 1.00

01:37:38.000 We had just gotten to the club.

01:37:39.000 Some lady comes up to me and goes, You're Tony Hinchcliffe, huh?

01:37:43.000 And I'm like, uh, yeah.

01:37:44.000 She's like, I have a message from Mr. Ron White. 0.98

01:37:47.000 And I'm just like, you gotta be fucking kidding me. 1.00

01:37:50.000 This motherfucker sent a human being. 1.00

01:37:52.000 That's how big of a baller Ron White is. 1.00

01:37:54.000 He sent a real-life human being.

01:37:56.000 Not a text.

01:37:57.000 Not a memo.

01:37:58.000 Not a letter.

01:38:00.000 A lady.

01:38:00.000 Ron White wants to invite you to hang out with him.

01:38:03.000 You and your friends, come on over.

01:38:05.000 We're all going to meet at this bar after he's done with his show and after you're done with yours.

01:38:09.000 I'm like, if that isn't some Texas powerful...

01:38:13.000 He sent a human being.

01:38:15.000 Like, that's like sending a raven.

01:38:17.000 Right.

01:38:18.000 Yeah.

01:38:19.000 It's better than a raven.

01:38:20.000 Yeah, it's better than a raven.

01:38:21.000 A raven.

01:38:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:38:23.000 Ron White's a bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:38:24.000 He's got his own tour bus. 1.00

01:38:25.000 Yeah.

01:38:26.000 He's got his own tequila.

01:38:27.000 Yeah.

01:38:28.000 Yeah, Ron White's the man.

01:38:30.000 He's got his own tequila, son.

01:38:32.000 It's crazy.

01:38:33.000 My mom's favorite comedian.

01:38:36.000 It's Mother's Day.

01:38:37.000 That's awesome.

01:38:38.000 It is Mother's Day, right?

01:38:40.000 Shout out to the moms. 1.00

01:38:41.000 Holla at all the ladies out there getting knocked up. 1.00

01:38:45.000 Hell yeah. 0.96

01:38:47.000 Holla.

01:38:49.000 Making babies. 1.00

01:38:50.000 Strong thank you to all the chicks out there who love dick. 1.00

01:38:53.000 That's how you make people. 1.00

01:38:55.000 Even if you're a woman that loves vagina, shout out to you too. 1.00

01:38:58.000 Shout out. 1.00

01:38:59.000 Shout out to all our lesbians. 1.00

01:39:02.000 It's amazing that people are so jealous that we don't like a girl who likes dick. 1.00

01:39:08.000 You should like a girl who likes dick. 1.00

01:39:12.000 But no, what you want is her to like your dick. 1.00

01:39:16.000 Right. 1.00

01:39:17.000 No other days.

01:39:18.000 Right. 0.99

01:39:19.000 You don't want her to just like dick in general. 1.00

01:39:21.000 Those girls are problematic. 1.00

01:39:23.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:39:25.000 But it's commonly understood that all guys love sex. 1.00

01:39:31.000 Like, all guys love pussy, right? 1.00

01:39:33.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:39:33.000 You're only supposed to love, like, one kind of girl or one girl. 1.00

01:39:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:39:37.000 But guys are disgusting. 0.99

01:39:38.000 Whereas girls, it's thought of, like, to be virtuous. 1.00

01:39:42.000 You're like, one dick. 0.99

01:39:43.000 Maybe you try one out and you don't like it anymore and you get a new one, but one. 1.00

01:39:47.000 One dick. 1.00

01:39:48.000 You can't just love dick. 1.00

01:39:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:39:51.000 Yeah.

01:39:52.000 Because there's too many people as it is. 1.00

01:39:56.000 Yeah, you gotta love dick. 1.00

01:39:57.000 Do you know how bad people must have loved dick back when people were dying, like, all the time? 1.00

01:40:02.000 Oh. 0.98

01:40:02.000 Like, nobody lived? 0.98

01:40:03.000 And when there was nothing else going on?

01:40:06.000 Oh.

01:40:06.000 There was nothing to do other than this one fun stick attached to the front of your body?

01:40:10.000 And no one would tell you that you're not supposed to fuck, because there wasn't even a language yet. 0.99

01:40:15.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:40:15.000 You would just fuck. 1.00

01:40:16.000 Yeah, everybody would just fuck. 1.00

01:40:17.000 And then you watched your friends get eaten by jaguars in front of you? 1.00

01:40:21.000 Oh, jeez.

01:40:24.000 Yeah.

01:40:25.000 We made babies together.

01:40:27.000 Intense a baby must have been before they knew language.

01:40:30.000 It's just you and you're smart.

01:40:32.000 Do you think?

01:40:33.000 Here's the question.

01:40:35.000 How smart...

01:40:37.000 We're humans.

01:40:38.000 Or, like, modern humans.

01:40:40.000 When they came up with the first noises that meant things.

01:40:44.000 Like, do chimps do that now, do you think? 0.99

01:40:46.000 Do you think they have noises for shit? 1.00

01:40:48.000 Like, they must, right? 1.00

01:40:50.000 Like, certain noises for stuff?

01:40:52.000 I think it all comes back to, like, animalistic stuff, right?

01:40:55.000 So, like, if...

01:40:56.000 Yeah.

01:40:57.000 Like, pointing at something?

01:40:58.000 Yeah.

01:41:00.000 Yeah, and then like you hear that noise, it's like, oh, that always means snake.

01:41:03.000 I'm sure, I'm almost positive I read something like that, that they did that with certain monkeys.

01:41:09.000 They had certain sounds they interpreted after a while, like they do this sound always when an eagle's nearby.

01:41:16.000 Have you ever seen those harpy eagles in Venezuela?

01:41:20.000 You know what that is?

01:41:21.000 It's a monkey-eating eagle, bro.

01:41:24.000 A monkey eagle?

01:41:25.000 Oh, a monkey-eating eagle.

01:41:27.000 They love to eat monkeys.

01:41:28.000 An eagle that eats monkeys?

01:41:29.000 Oh, yes, they do.

01:41:31.000 Oh, my God. 0.88

01:41:32.000 It's one of the things they found about some of the early humans, when they found fossils and skulls and shit, they found that the inside of the skull had been scraped, which there was some speculation that maybe it was tools and sometimes... 0.90

01:41:46.000 They looked at the scrape and going, this one looks like a raptor's claw. 0.87

01:41:50.000 They'd think it was people that hadn't gotten killed by eagles.

01:41:53.000 Like the early human beings were prey to larger birds.

01:41:59.000 Jesus.

01:42:00.000 Yeah, particularly this one in New Zealand that they know existed.

01:42:03.000 So there's all this speculation about how many different birds existed. 0.92

01:42:08.000 We have a pretty good fossil record of really big eagles and these things called terror birds that ate people and shit like that. 0.85

01:42:15.000 But they think back when we were like smaller monkey-like things that we probably got jacked by eagles, man. 0.59

01:42:21.000 Especially if there was a host eagle that lived in New Zealand alongside people for sure.

01:42:26.000 Because I think they made it extinct just thousands of years ago, like 14,000 years ago or something.

01:42:32.000 I might be wrong about the number, but it was a huge eagle that had like a 10-foot, 11-foot wingspan.

01:42:39.000 And they ate people. 0.99

01:42:40.000 If birds could talk, if birds could talk, they would just take shit over. 1.00

01:42:44.000 Oh, God. 0.99

01:42:45.000 You realize that?

01:42:46.000 If birds somehow, like, learned how to talk today...

01:42:49.000 Through a pig?

01:42:50.000 Yeah.

01:42:50.000 They would just take everything over.

01:42:52.000 Fuck your computer, mine now. 1.00

01:42:54.000 Goodbye. 1.00

01:42:54.000 Yeah, but we have guns. 1.00

01:42:56.000 We still have guns.

01:42:57.000 They're birds.

01:42:58.000 But guns change everything.

01:42:59.000 Huh?

01:43:02.000 You're in one of those tanks with a slot and you got the machine gun out there and you just blast them out of the sky.

01:43:07.000 Let me put it to you this way.

01:43:08.000 A gun only has one barrel.

01:43:11.000 Birds can attack from multiple angles at once.

01:43:17.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:43:18.000 360 attack.

01:43:19.000 But you hide in a tank and you shoot them out of the sky.

01:43:21.000 Yeah, they don't play that, dude.

01:43:23.000 They don't?

01:43:24.000 No, tanks...

01:43:25.000 Yeah, they don't play that.

01:43:26.000 They'll stay above.

01:43:27.000 And they'll let you run out of your artillery.

01:43:29.000 If they were smart enough to talk, then they'd be smart enough to let you run out of bullets.

01:43:34.000 Right.

01:43:34.000 Like, what if they had hands?

01:43:35.000 Yeah.

01:43:36.000 Along with the wings.

01:43:37.000 Then they open up the tank. 0.99

01:43:38.000 Get the fuck out of the tank! 1.00

01:43:39.000 It's me talking bird! 1.00

01:43:41.000 They would do what they do with, like, goats.

01:43:43.000 How eagles grab goats and they throw them off cliffs.

01:43:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:43:46.000 That's cold-blooded shit, man. 1.00

01:43:48.000 It really is. 1.00

01:43:49.000 They drag them off cliffs.

01:43:52.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:43:52.000 Throw them to their death. 1.00

01:43:53.000 Like, they know what they're doing. 1.00

01:43:54.000 Yeah.

01:43:55.000 That's mean.

01:43:57.000 It's a ruthless animal, man.

01:44:00.000 It's a fascinating animal.

01:44:02.000 But they think that those things preyed on people, like early humans.

01:44:06.000 They found these skulls, the inside of them are all scraped out.

01:44:11.000 Scary.

01:44:12.000 Ooh, dog.

01:44:14.000 There's something about birds, man. 0.99

01:44:16.000 They don't give a fuck about you. 0.91

01:44:19.000 If you look at a dog or even a cat, a cat at least purrs and looks at you and likes that you're petting it. 0.99

01:44:27.000 It's like an interaction between you and the cat.

01:44:29.000 Right.

01:44:29.000 Hey, gravity affects us.

01:44:31.000 We're on the same level.

01:44:32.000 Yeah, man.

01:44:33.000 You look in the eagle's eye. 1.00

01:44:34.000 You're like, why am I keeping you alive, you crazy cunt? 1.00

01:44:38.000 And they're looking at us also. 1.00

01:44:40.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:44:40.000 And they're looking at us like, why do you guys just stay on this floor?

01:44:43.000 Why don't you guys flap your arms, you fucking idiots? 1.00

01:44:47.000 You guys can't move around. 1.00

01:44:48.000 You're just down here like prey.

01:44:50.000 Right.

01:44:50.000 You just sit here on this level?

01:44:53.000 Think about what an eagle can do. 1.00

01:44:55.000 It swoops down and scoops a fish out of a fucking river. 1.00

01:45:01.000 A big one. 1.00

01:45:02.000 It carries it away.

01:45:03.000 Grabs a fish. 0.99

01:45:05.000 You know how fucking strong you have to be to grab a salmon with your hands? 0.99

01:45:09.000 Those talons that sink into it. 0.99

01:45:12.000 It just carries it off.

01:45:13.000 Flying.

01:45:16.000 That's...

01:45:17.000 That's some sushi right there.

01:45:19.000 That's how you do it.

01:45:20.000 Oh my god. 0.74

01:45:21.000 What a ruthless bird. 0.99

01:45:22.000 Crazy. 0.98

01:45:24.000 It's kind of nuts that that's our national bird, too.

01:45:28.000 Somebody didn't want it to be.

01:45:30.000 It was, uh...

01:45:33.000 Who was it? 0.93

01:45:33.000 Ben Franklin, I think, thought it was like a punk-ass bird. 0.93

01:45:37.000 He's like, that's a punk-ass bird. 0.99

01:45:38.000 It's a whiny. 0.99

01:45:39.000 He had reasons for it.

01:45:40.000 I read it last week.

01:45:41.000 Really?

01:45:42.000 Whiny?

01:45:42.000 How's an eagle whiny?

01:45:44.000 I can't remember whether it was him, John Adams, or Jefferson.

01:45:46.000 One of those weird old guys. 1.00

01:45:47.000 But like, they're like, fuck the eagle. 1.00

01:45:51.000 Yeah, it's true. 1.00

01:45:52.000 How can you say fuck the eagle? 1.00

01:45:54.000 They're so gangster. 1.00

01:45:54.000 They have a whole reason for it. 1.00

01:45:55.000 They're gangster, but it's like, they're also...

01:45:59.000 Oh, I wish I could remember what it was.

01:46:03.000 I think it was, like, he didn't like how they, like, squawk.

01:46:07.000 He called him, like, squawky or something.

01:46:10.000 We don't need that squawky bird.

01:46:12.000 I mean, really, should it be an eagle, though?

01:46:14.000 We're America.

01:46:15.000 What should it really be?

01:46:16.000 What's truly the most, truly the most powerful?

01:46:20.000 Eagle's a pretty badass word. 0.91

01:46:22.000 A badass bird, rather.

01:46:23.000 Yeah, but it's still a bird.

01:46:24.000 I mean I don't know.

01:46:26.000 What about the shark?

01:46:28.000 We should be a puppy.

01:46:29.000 Yeah!

01:46:30.000 So we're sneaky.

01:46:31.000 We don't have to be some killer, murderous thing.

01:46:33.000 I love that.

01:46:34.000 That can't be something cute.

01:46:35.000 Exactly. 0.98

01:46:36.000 Something cute that fucks you up.

01:46:37.000 Yeah, something with a YouTube following.

01:46:39.000 Like a Snapchat filter.

01:46:41.000 That's what we got.

01:46:42.000 One of those puppies, those cartoon ones.

01:46:44.000 Little dog ears on the nose.

01:46:45.000 We'll have, instead of having like a mascot that's an actual animal, we'll have a fake one.

01:46:50.000 Like a team.

01:46:52.000 Teams have a gopher that wears a tie.

01:46:55.000 That would be us.

01:46:57.000 They're your college football team.

01:46:58.000 Yeah.

01:46:59.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:47:00.000 We'd be a mascot.

01:47:01.000 Yeah.

01:47:02.000 You know, I mean, the whole idea of having a mascot is kind of crazy, isn't it?

01:47:07.000 Yeah.

01:47:08.000 A national animal.

01:47:10.000 We're eagles.

01:47:11.000 American eagle.

01:47:12.000 These colors don't run, bro.

01:47:14.000 Yeah.

01:47:15.000 The whole thing is weird.

01:47:17.000 It's like, we have a bird?

01:47:18.000 Wait, what?

01:47:18.000 We're a bird?

01:47:19.000 We're a bird.

01:47:20.000 Okay, and Russia's a bear? 1.00

01:47:21.000 Okay, well, we're fucked. 1.00

01:47:23.000 I have news for you. 1.00

01:47:24.000 Bears and eagles. 0.99

01:47:26.000 I'll fucking put my money on the bear all day long. 0.99

01:47:28.000 Yeah, for sure. 0.99

01:47:28.000 That's not a good deal. 0.99

01:47:31.000 For sure. 1.00

01:47:34.000 I wonder if the other countries look at us like we're morons for that. 0.98

01:47:38.000 Like, is Afghanistan here that we have, like, represent this eagle and they're just like, what are they doing? 0.99

01:47:46.000 Don't you think that other countries have an animal too?

01:47:49.000 No.

01:47:51.000 I think other countries, some people just, like, they're...

01:47:55.000 They don't even... 1.00

01:47:56.000 I don't think there's comprehending of our silly shit that we do. 1.00

01:48:01.000 America! 1.00

01:48:03.000 America!

01:48:03.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:48:04.000 America!

01:48:04.000 Do you know that the Mississippi state flag still has a Confederate flag on it?

01:48:09.000 Yes.

01:48:09.000 I learned this last night when the guy from Jackson, Mississippi...

01:48:14.000 When the two white trash guys fought. 1.00

01:48:16.000 White trash guys? 1.00

01:48:18.000 You know who I'm talking about. 1.00

01:48:19.000 They literally, like, own it.

01:48:20.000 First of all, how dare you?

01:48:22.000 And it's Jason Knight and Chaz Kelly.

01:48:27.000 I knew you knew who I was talking about.

01:48:30.000 But the guy from Jackson, Mississippi, his whole family was in the audience.

01:48:34.000 Our family and friends.

01:48:36.000 And they were all wearing the same shirt.

01:48:37.000 Yeah.

01:48:38.000 And I just thought it was the Confederate flag.

01:48:41.000 I didn't realize that it was the Mississippi State flag. 0.99

01:48:44.000 And they were going fucking crazy. 0.99

01:48:47.000 Like, they were the craziest patch of people in the whole arena last night. 1.00

01:48:51.000 Literally.

01:48:52.000 They had a whole section that was insane.

01:48:56.000 And...

01:48:56.000 I ended up saying to the sound guy who I was sitting next to...

01:49:03.000 I'm like, look at these crazy people. 0.94

01:49:06.000 They have the Confederate flag on their shirt. 0.96

01:49:08.000 And he's like, oh...

01:49:09.000 No, that's just the Mississippi state flag, and I'm like, oh, wow, I didn't know that. 1.00

01:49:14.000 I'm a complete idiot. 1.00

01:49:15.000 I thought they were just going to fucking burn a cross in victory up there. 1.00

01:49:19.000 Like, they seemed like they were the party. 0.99

01:49:22.000 Do you think that people know that Mississippi has a Confederate flag, a state flag?

01:49:27.000 I didn't know.

01:49:27.000 No.

01:49:28.000 How many people do you think, like, outside of Mississippi are even aware of that?

01:49:31.000 I would probably guess, if you and I don't know, then I would guess somewhere in, like, the three...

01:49:35.000 Ten percent.

01:49:35.000 I would say three to five percent.

01:49:37.000 I think ten percent's very giving.

01:49:39.000 Wow.

01:49:40.000 How do they not know that? 1.00

01:49:41.000 People right now are screaming, you're idiots! 1.00

01:49:43.000 Everybody knows! 1.00

01:49:45.000 If you know that, then I'm guessing you live in one of the two, you live one interlocking state away from Mississippi, if you know that.

01:49:53.000 Or you're one of those people that really got into the Confederate flag's origins when they pulled it off the General League.

01:49:59.000 Or you memorized overall just state flags, in which case, whoa.

01:50:04.000 Wow, your hobbies are out of control.

01:50:06.000 But when they pulled that state flag, or they pulled the Confederate flag, rather, off the General Lee, they pulled General Lee off, they don't have the Dukes of Hazzard on TV land anymore because of that flag.

01:50:17.000 Yeah.

01:50:17.000 Which I found fascinating, man.

01:50:20.000 Like, for years and years and years, and I'm not against the idea of pulling the show.

01:50:24.000 I understand the sentiment behind it, that in their eyes, that's a racist symbol.

01:50:28.000 But it's just fascinating to me, just purely from an observer's point of view, like, oh, look at how the culture is shifting.

01:50:36.000 Like, we used to be able to have this on TV, and no one said a word about it.

01:50:40.000 It was on the roof of a car that was on television, and the car was arguably one of the big stars of the show. 0.99

01:50:49.000 Because, like, you got Catherine Bach, it's hot as fuck. 0.99

01:50:52.000 You got the Daisy Dukes. 1.00

01:50:53.000 Yeah.

01:50:54.000 Shorts.

01:50:55.000 Yeah.

01:50:55.000 And then you got Bo and Luke Duke, right?

01:50:58.000 They're the stars. 1.00

01:50:59.000 And then you got the fucking car, man. 1.00

01:51:01.000 Wait, what was the cop's name? 1.00

01:51:04.000 Well, there was Roscoe P. Coltrane.

01:51:06.000 Boss Hogg, right?

01:51:07.000 Boss Hogg and Roscoe P. Coltrane, right?

01:51:09.000 Yeah, that's all I remember is Boss Hogg.

01:51:11.000 Boss Hogg and Roscoe was the sheriff, right?

01:51:14.000 I guess.

01:51:15.000 I sort of don't believe it.

01:51:16.000 Who was the sheriff?

01:51:17.000 He was the mayor.

01:51:18.000 Mayor Boss Hogg, right?

01:51:20.000 Wasn't he?

01:51:21.000 And then there was the sheriff, Roscoe P. Coltrane?

01:51:23.000 I sort of don't remember.

01:51:25.000 And then there was Cletus, who was in love with Daisy Duke.

01:51:27.000 Remember when they made the movie with Johnny Knoxville and Jessica Simpson?

01:51:30.000 Of course I don't remember that.

01:51:31.000 Nobody saw it?

01:51:32.000 I don't remember that.

01:51:33.000 I literally don't remember that.

01:51:35.000 That movie was so bad, it got the TV show canceled.

01:51:38.000 Ah!

01:51:40.000 Dude, Jessica Simpson was hot as the sun at one point in time. 1.00

01:51:46.000 At one point.

01:51:47.000 Now Lisa Simpson looks better than she does. 1.00

01:51:51.000 I'm on it.

01:51:58.000 Homer Simpson might be the greatest character in the history of television.

01:52:02.000 He really probably is.

01:52:03.000 Yeah, man.

01:52:04.000 Because he's so cartoon...

01:52:05.000 It was right up there with Cartman.

01:52:07.000 Cartman might be as well.

01:52:08.000 Yeah.

01:52:09.000 They're almost like...

01:52:11.000 But Homer... 0.99

01:52:12.000 He's like the ultimate buffoon. 0.99

01:52:14.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:52:15.000 And he's immortal.

01:52:17.000 You can do anything to him.

01:52:18.000 Well, they both are.

01:52:19.000 It's interesting.

01:52:20.000 Him and Cartman both don't age.

01:52:22.000 And they're both...

01:52:24.000 Sort of troublemakers.

01:52:25.000 Very stubborn.

01:52:26.000 It's very much the American way.

01:52:28.000 I mean, it's just like, imagine that.

01:52:30.000 Imagine if Homer Simpson adopted Cartman.

01:52:33.000 Like, that's a movie.

01:52:34.000 Yeah.

01:52:35.000 Yeah.

01:52:35.000 Wow.

01:52:35.000 That's another great idea.

01:52:37.000 Yeah.

01:52:39.000 Another one.

01:52:41.000 Homer Simpson adopts Cartman. 1.00

01:52:43.000 Fuck you, Dad. 1.00

01:52:46.000 Well, it's two totally different styles. 1.00

01:52:48.000 But, you know, it's like you got your King of the Hill style of animated comedy.

01:52:53.000 You got F is for Family's coming out soon.

01:52:55.000 Season two.

01:52:57.000 I bet that's going to be killer.

01:52:58.000 That was a funny show, man.

01:53:00.000 That's a really funny show.

01:53:02.000 I don't really watch comedy shows.

01:53:03.000 I'm looking forward to the return of House of Cards and the return of Game of Thrones.

01:53:07.000 That Xerxes is so hot.

01:53:09.000 I've watched F is for Family.

01:53:11.000 It's legitimately funny, dude.

01:53:16.000 It's a legitimately funny show.

01:53:17.000 But yeah, I'm looking forward to that.

01:53:20.000 I gave up on Game of Thrones.

01:53:23.000 I mean, not Game of Thrones.

01:53:24.000 Walking Dead.

01:53:25.000 So when I gave up on Walking Dead, I created some space that House of Cards filled.

01:53:29.000 Good.

01:53:30.000 I feel much better about myself.

01:53:31.000 I can't deal with zombies anymore.

01:53:33.000 I'm tired of zombies.

01:53:34.000 I'm with you, buddy.

01:53:35.000 I'm with you.

01:53:35.000 Zombies are dead to me.

01:53:37.000 Literally.

01:53:39.000 After a while, I was like, okay, this can't go anywhere.

01:53:42.000 When does civilization rebuild? 0.99

01:53:44.000 When do you dummies kill all these zombies? 0.98

01:53:46.000 What are these zombies eating? 0.99

01:53:47.000 How are they staying alive?

01:53:49.000 How are they here for so long?

01:53:51.000 How come they're not just skeletons now?

01:53:53.000 Do they stop rotting?

01:53:54.000 They rot for years.

01:53:55.000 Oh, they just rot for years. 1.00

01:53:56.000 How about fuck you? 1.00

01:53:58.000 You're not making any sense anymore. 1.00

01:54:00.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:54:01.000 They should all be dead. 1.00

01:54:02.000 They should be gone. 1.00

01:54:03.000 I never got into The Walking Dead.

01:54:05.000 I'm not into any of that zombie stuff.

01:54:06.000 I can't be.

01:54:07.000 They violate physics.

01:54:08.000 Yeah.

01:54:09.000 They violate nature.

01:54:10.000 It's not just that it's a zombie.

01:54:12.000 It's just that it doesn't rot away.

01:54:14.000 Like, how come it doesn't rot away?

01:54:15.000 It's dead.

01:54:16.000 Like, come on.

01:54:17.000 You told me it's dead, right?

01:54:18.000 So how come it doesn't... 0.99

01:54:19.000 Like, in the beginning of the show, like, in the beginning seasons, they had, like, more shit going on. 0.99

01:54:26.000 You know? 0.99

01:54:27.000 Like, remember when they had to blow up that building that had the anti-zombie shit in it where they... 0.99

01:54:33.000 We created the zombie in the first place, and there was a guy, and his wife turned, the whole deal. 0.98

01:54:38.000 That was The Walking Dead, right?

01:54:40.000 I don't remember.

01:54:41.000 In the beginning, it was just better.

01:54:43.000 It seemed like it was interesting, and then after a while, you're like, oh, I get it. 0.93

01:54:48.000 It's always going to suck. 0.99

01:54:50.000 Your life is always going to suck. 0.99

01:54:51.000 It's going to suck here, and then it's going to suck there, and then this guy's going to get killed with a baseball bat, and then this person's going to turn into a zombie, and you're going to have to watch this person get torn apart. 1.00

01:55:00.000 Okay. 0.99

01:55:01.000 I get it. 1.00

01:55:02.000 You're just fucking with me. 0.99

01:55:04.000 This isn't really... 0.99

01:55:05.000 Meanwhile, those Game of Thrones guys are taking...

01:55:07.000 Literally just blowing our minds.

01:55:10.000 Yeah.

01:55:11.000 And as is House of Cards.

01:55:13.000 Yeah.

01:55:15.000 House of Cards is crazy because they were...

01:55:18.000 I feel like they were really giving us an...

01:55:21.000 Even though it's obviously fiction, I feel like they're giving us a real window on sort of how stuff does work.

01:55:29.000 In a weird way, even though, again, it's fiction.

01:55:32.000 Like, they just show you how people communicate with one another to get what they want.

01:55:38.000 They show you what politics is and how you can use that in your everyday life, but how it's just that business.

01:55:44.000 I mean, they are in the business of, like, being shady to one another.

01:55:48.000 That's...

01:55:49.000 What it is.

01:55:50.000 It's a weird field.

01:55:51.000 It's crazy.

01:55:51.000 Very bizarre industry.

01:55:53.000 Almost all gossip, drama, and lying to people.

01:55:56.000 And owing people favors and bipartisan politics and all that stuff that we see on a daily basis in the real world.

01:56:03.000 It's just like they're doing a fictional account of it.

01:56:05.000 I wonder how exaggerated it is.

01:56:07.000 I was just going to say, you can tell that they're doing their research.

01:56:10.000 Yeah.

01:56:10.000 You can tell that a lot of that's real.

01:56:13.000 And...

01:56:15.000 I mean, they definitely push the boundaries.

01:56:17.000 Right.

01:56:17.000 The president is pushing people onto train tracks.

01:56:21.000 Yeah.

01:56:22.000 But they're definitely colluding with, you know, the press and leaking things and trading favors. 0.99

01:56:32.000 And I think it's a lot of why shit's so goddamn stagnant. 0.99

01:56:36.000 If the Republicans owe the Democrats 10 favors and the Democrats owe the Republicans 10 favors, then what the fuck are we doing? 0.99

01:56:43.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:56:45.000 Yeah, it's all weird, but it's a system that's been around for a long time, and it's just never been exposed in a drama the way it's been on this show. 0.90

01:56:55.000 I mean, this show, like, they go so deep with it, and obviously the bunch of crazy shit, murders, all this nutty shit, but who knows, man? 0.96

01:57:02.000 You look at some of the stuff that the Clintons are accused of, and some other presidents are accused of, and look at the Kennedy assassination, who the fuck knows what's really going on behind the scenes with these people. 0.99

01:57:12.000 They definitely are colluding on some things. 0.95

01:57:15.000 You know, they're definitely talking and coordinating things, and they're strategizing, and they definitely have plans.

01:57:23.000 It's just to what extent does it really go?

01:57:25.000 You know another great show that I can't wait for, I don't know when it comes back, Stranger Things on Netflix?

01:57:31.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:57:33.000 Did you watch that season?

01:57:34.000 I just watched episode one.

01:57:36.000 I'm not really into, like, Aliens and stuff.

01:57:40.000 How dare you?

01:57:40.000 Like pro wrestling and not like aliens.

01:57:42.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

01:57:44.000 They're totally different things. 1.00

01:57:45.000 Yeah, one of them sucks. 0.96

01:57:46.000 Wrestling's real. 0.99

01:57:51.000 Aliens are fake in wrestling. 0.53

01:57:53.000 Dude, are you telling me you're not into seeing this new Ripley Scott alien movie that's coming out?

01:57:57.000 Ripley.

01:57:58.000 Ridley Scott, rather.

01:57:59.000 I said Ripley Scott.

01:58:00.000 I saw the preview for that the other night.

01:58:02.000 I do want to see that.

01:58:04.000 Good lord, that looks good.

01:58:06.000 Dude, what they can do now with special effects is make things way more terrifying.

01:58:11.000 That has always been my favorite science fiction franchise.

01:58:14.000 I mean, there was a couple of them that were a little, eh, eh.

01:58:18.000 But I'm a giant fan of that creature.

01:58:21.000 What do they call it?

01:58:22.000 The Xenomorph?

01:58:25.000 Xenomorph?

01:58:25.000 Is that what they call it?

01:58:26.000 I don't know.

01:58:27.000 I thought it was just called the Alien.

01:58:28.000 I don't know much.

01:58:29.000 I think they called it a Xenomorph.

01:58:32.000 I forget.

01:58:33.000 Maybe I'm making that up.

01:58:34.000 But I think that's what it is.

01:58:36.000 But that creature is just the most terrifying alien ever.

01:58:40.000 Just this vicious insect-like thing that grows to full size in like a few days. 0.99

01:58:49.000 That's totally possible, too, man.

01:58:52.000 That's totally possible.

01:58:54.000 We'd have to get some food, though.

01:58:56.000 That's the only thing that I didn't like about that.

01:58:58.000 Like, how's it growing without food?

01:59:01.000 Yeah.

01:59:02.000 I mean, it has to be eating those people.

01:59:04.000 Okay.

01:59:06.000 But how many people does it eat to get to be 700 pounds or whatever it was?

01:59:10.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

01:59:11.000 Seems like it would have to eat 700 pounds with other people to even get in the ballpark of 700 pounds.

01:59:18.000 Yeah, where did it come on its own ship?

01:59:22.000 It came from the dude's chest, remember?

01:59:24.000 Oh, yeah!

01:59:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:59:27.000 It grabbed a hole of his face and it makes it suck its little alien dick. 1.00

01:59:31.000 And it comes in its stomach, and it makes a person inside your body, and it blows out your chest. 1.00

01:59:37.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

01:59:37.000 Remember that? 1.00

01:59:38.000 Yeah, it's all coming back to me. 1.00

01:59:40.000 The face grabs it with his hand, and then literally like an alien tentacle dick thing comes out of the palm, and just mouth fucks you. 1.00

01:59:49.000 Oh, God. 1.00

01:59:51.000 That hurts.

01:59:52.000 It's a great animal.

01:59:55.000 Like, as far as, like, something that someone created to terrify you, it's an amazing being, you know?

02:00:01.000 I mean, I think it's the best alien science fiction creation in it.

02:00:05.000 And also, it's H.R. Giger's, like, design.

02:00:09.000 So his design was so freaky and dark and twisted.

02:00:13.000 Like, it was, like, the Creature of the Black Lagoon meets...

02:00:19.000 Like, the wiring of the Millennium Falcon.

02:00:22.000 I mean, it's almost like a...

02:00:23.000 It's like semi-mechanical looking.

02:00:26.000 And insect-like.

02:00:27.000 But also, like, kinetic.

02:00:30.000 It looks like it has muscles and...

02:00:31.000 Yeah.

02:00:32.000 It looks just like it would just rip you apart, man.

02:00:34.000 It looks terrifying.

02:00:36.000 And that giant head of it.

02:00:39.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:00:40.000 There's some scary shit out there, man. 1.00

02:00:43.000 The fact that its blood is made out of acid... 1.00

02:00:46.000 I mean, come on, son.

02:00:48.000 That animal, that thing, that alien being is the coolest creation, I think, in all of science fiction.

02:00:57.000 And this is this week, man.

02:01:01.000 This Friday. 0.97

02:01:02.000 My dork... 0.95

02:01:04.000 It's on full point right now. 0.99

02:01:06.000 I'm full sci-fi dork.

02:01:07.000 When you see movies, do you actually go to a movie theater like a normal human being ever? 1.00

02:01:12.000 The fuck are you talking about? 0.99

02:01:13.000 Well, I mean, you're Joe Rogan. 1.00

02:01:15.000 I don't know how that works.

02:01:17.000 Dude, I'm right next to you on a normal plane.

02:01:19.000 I go to normal restaurants with you. 1.00

02:01:21.000 I do shit with you all the time. 1.00

02:01:22.000 This isn't a normal plane, Joe. 1.00

02:01:24.000 When I'm by myself, I'm not flying like this.

02:01:26.000 It's a normal plane.

02:01:27.000 It's still a plane.

02:01:28.000 I know.

02:01:28.000 But yeah, no, I tend to go to the movie theater like everybody else, man.

02:01:32.000 So like you're going to go see Alien with like a friend or...?

02:01:39.000 Do you want to go on a date?

02:01:41.000 Is that what you're doing?

02:01:42.000 Are you beating around the bush?

02:01:44.000 I'm just curious.

02:01:45.000 I can't really picture it. 1.00

02:01:46.000 I just go to the fucking movies, man. 1.00

02:01:47.000 I just go to the movies. 1.00

02:01:48.000 What do you mean you go to the movies?

02:01:49.000 Buy a ticket.

02:01:50.000 Go to the movies.

02:01:51.000 By yourself?

02:01:52.000 No, with a friend.

02:01:53.000 Jesus Christ.

02:01:55.000 I wouldn't go by myself.

02:01:56.000 That's a little rough.

02:01:59.000 That's weird.

02:02:00.000 If you went by yourself, people would stare at you.

02:02:02.000 Hey, man.

02:02:03.000 Joe Rogan's got no friends.

02:02:04.000 Like, hey...

02:02:05.000 I got friends.

02:02:06.000 No one's available right now, okay?

02:02:09.000 This time was convenient for me.

02:02:11.000 I'm a big alien fan.

02:02:12.000 Yeah, it's like watching a movie at home by yourself, totally normal.

02:02:16.000 Going to the movies by yourself, ooh.

02:02:19.000 I've done that before on the road, though.

02:02:21.000 And it's awesome, because you actually get to enjoy the movie.

02:02:24.000 Yeah.

02:02:25.000 Going to a movie with people can only be a distraction.

02:02:28.000 I think I've only gone to the movies by myself, man, maybe six times ever in my whole life.

02:02:35.000 But they're good trips.

02:02:36.000 I live right next to Tarantino's movie theater, and they play really cool movies there.

02:02:42.000 They just had the 25th anniversary of Reservoir Dogs this past month, and they played it every night at midnight for like two weeks.

02:02:51.000 What the hell's my point?

02:02:52.000 Oh yeah, I don't mind going and checking out a movie by myself at all. 1.00

02:02:56.000 What I hate is going with someone that has a fucking bag of candy that they keep digging into and shit. 1.00

02:03:02.000 Or popcorn. 1.00

02:03:04.000 I know it's a cheesy subject, but how popcorn became the movie theater food makes zero sense to me.

02:03:13.000 It's one of the smelliest foods.

02:03:15.000 It's one of the weirdest sounding foods.

02:03:18.000 It makes people dig in.

02:03:21.000 Too much.

02:03:22.000 It makes a mess.

02:03:24.000 I have a laundry list of complaints about popcorn.

02:03:29.000 Yeah, it's definitely not a quiet food.

02:03:31.000 And when you get it in a bag, that's the worst.

02:03:36.000 Someone's ruffling their bag around.

02:03:38.000 Or plastic.

02:03:39.000 Anything in plastic.

02:03:40.000 You gotta dig into the plastic.

02:03:42.000 Crackle, crackle, crackle.

02:03:44.000 All those bags are too loud.

02:03:45.000 The Reese's Pieces bag, they make it so that you break it open.

02:03:51.000 I'm trying to open it so the Reese's Pieces fly everywhere.

02:03:54.000 No they don't.

02:03:55.000 And then you have to buy a new bag of Reese's Pieces. 0.99

02:03:58.000 That's the dumbest conspiracy I've ever heard. 0.98

02:04:00.000 Do you call it Pieces? 1.00

02:04:01.000 Pieces.

02:04:02.000 You call it Reese's Pieces?

02:04:05.000 Reese's Pieces.

02:04:08.000 Reese's Pieces.

02:04:09.000 It's not Reese's Pieces.

02:04:13.000 It's Reese's Pieces.

02:04:16.000 See this is one of the great conundrums of It's like the Berenstain Bears.

02:04:21.000 Yeah.

02:04:22.000 It's confusing.

02:04:24.000 You think it's one thing, but it's really another thing.

02:04:26.000 Okay, well, what are the peanut butter cups?

02:04:28.000 Reese's.

02:04:29.000 Reese's peanut butter cups.

02:04:30.000 Reese's.

02:04:30.000 Yeah.

02:04:35.000 Reese's.

02:04:35.000 Yeah.

02:04:36.000 Yeah.

02:04:37.000 I think maybe it's an Ohio thing.

02:04:40.000 It was definitely always Reese's when I was growing up.

02:04:43.000 I feel like.

02:04:43.000 Maybe I'm not.

02:04:44.000 Well, people get used to saying shit wrong. 0.99

02:04:46.000 Like, in Texas, they say, especially. 0.99

02:04:47.000 Yeah.

02:04:48.000 That's a big thing that people say.

02:04:50.000 Instead of especially...

02:04:51.000 What do they say?

02:04:52.000 Especially.

02:04:53.000 Oh, wow.

02:04:54.000 Yeah.

02:04:56.000 Yeah, I don't know.

02:04:57.000 It's like there's an X in there.

02:04:58.000 Especially.

02:04:59.000 They'll say, well, y'all especially need to worry about that.

02:05:03.000 Especially.

02:05:04.000 It's a beautiful accent.

02:05:06.000 Texas people are truly...

02:05:07.000 I was just going to say, that might be my favorite accent.

02:05:10.000 They're just so cool.

02:05:11.000 Even when I disagree with someone from Texas, like one time...

02:05:18.000 One time a cop tried to arrest me and my buddy Matt at a Whataburger.

02:05:22.000 This is like eight years ago.

02:05:24.000 And we didn't know why he wanted...

02:05:27.000 He's like, you guys need to get out of this Whataburger.

02:05:29.000 It was like 3 a.m.

02:05:30.000 It was our first time in a Whataburger ever.

02:05:32.000 We had just placed our order.

02:05:34.000 I had just handed the cashier a $5 bill.

02:05:38.000 I'll never forget it.

02:05:39.000 And a sheriff comes over my shoulder and he goes, you and your friend need to get out of here.

02:05:43.000 And I'm like, really?

02:05:44.000 What?

02:05:44.000 Cut to our other buddy, other comedian...

02:05:48.000 Gets in trouble for defending us.

02:05:50.000 He's like, you can't kick my friends out.

02:05:51.000 This is their first trip at a Whataburger.

02:05:52.000 Why are you kicking them out of here?

02:05:54.000 And the cop's like, don't worry about it.

02:05:56.000 And cut to the next day, our buddy, who ended up spending a little bit of time in jail that night defending us, me and my other little L.A. friend got to leave the Whataburger, but our buddy from Texas got in trouble.

02:06:10.000 Our buddy from Texas the next day has his friend, who's the chief of police on speakerphone, We're sitting in the car, traveling back to California, and he's like, so what happened?

02:06:21.000 What happened, buddy?

02:06:23.000 And the chief of police literally goes, yeah, the cop told me that you were defending your friends.

02:06:30.000 It appears as though... 0.99

02:06:31.000 According to this officer, a couple of faggots were fighting at a Whataburger or something like that. 1.00

02:06:36.000 And me and my buddy, we're obviously the couple of faggots in this story. 1.00

02:06:41.000 We start dying of laughter. 1.00

02:06:43.000 I mean, dying of laughter. 1.00

02:06:46.000 But with that said, the guy with his Texas accent, you could tell he's wearing like a cowboy hat, chief of police, a couple of faggots, fighting at a Whataburger. 1.00

02:06:55.000 And me and my buddy were having like a play argument at the time, like, you know, about whatever it was. 0.99

02:06:59.000 We weren't, obviously we weren't fighting.

02:07:01.000 It was me and Matt Edgar.

02:07:02.000 You know, California kid.

02:07:04.000 That's hilarious.

02:07:05.000 I'm a water.

02:07:06.000 Thank you.

02:07:06.000 Awesome.

02:07:08.000 Dude, that's hilarious.

02:07:09.000 So the cop was just being homophobic.

02:07:11.000 Totally.

02:07:12.000 Whoa.

02:07:13.000 So were you guys joking around about stuff?

02:07:15.000 Yeah.

02:07:16.000 We were literally having some, like, play fight about, like, it was like a play argument about, I can't remember, who knows what, you know, literally a couple of LA comedians excited to be on the road, probably opening for free for That is so funny.

02:07:31.000 So you were just basically being comedians and being loud.

02:07:34.000 Absolutely. 0.88

02:07:35.000 And they decided you were two gay guys in the middle of a spat. 0.95

02:07:38.000 Yep. 0.97

02:07:39.000 Wow.

02:07:40.000 Well, there's definitely that in Texas, too.

02:07:43.000 Like, in the South in general.

02:07:44.000 Like, I had some friends that moved to Nashville from L.A. Love Nashville, too.

02:07:48.000 I do, too.

02:07:49.000 But they had this idea that they were gonna, you know, they're gonna be in Nashville, and Nashville's all open-minded and artists.

02:07:55.000 And she said, like, right around, like, the third or fourth time I heard the word nigger, I was like, okay, this is...

02:08:03.000 There's some outlying areas.

02:08:05.000 You're in a Walmart an hour away from Nashville, and you hear that kind of talk, and you're like, okay, I'm still in Tennessee.

02:08:12.000 Like this...

02:08:13.000 You know, woo.

02:08:15.000 But at least they don't have a confederate flag.

02:08:18.000 Yeah, and their t-shirts.

02:08:20.000 Jesus Christ. 0.99

02:08:22.000 But I mean, like, the way that that cop called us a couple of, well, you know, a couple of faggots, it's like, I believed it. 1.00

02:08:29.000 Wow. 0.99

02:08:30.000 He almost convinced me. 1.00

02:08:31.000 I'm like, I guess I'm a faggot, man. 1.00

02:08:33.000 In Texas, I'm a faggot. 1.00

02:08:35.000 In California, I'm Tony. 1.00

02:08:39.000 I wonder if that's, like, where you were.

02:08:40.000 You were in Houston, right?

02:08:42.000 Yeah.

02:08:42.000 During that?

02:08:43.000 Yeah.

02:08:44.000 That was like eight or nine years ago.

02:08:45.000 That was in Corpus Christi.

02:08:47.000 Okay.

02:08:47.000 But I don't think that would happen in Austin.

02:08:49.000 No.

02:08:50.000 Yeah, no.

02:08:50.000 Yeah, Austin has got a...

02:08:52.000 It's more progressive.

02:08:54.000 Yeah.

02:08:54.000 Austin is a total livable place.

02:08:57.000 Yeah.

02:08:58.000 Like, it would be a nice place to live.

02:09:00.000 You would enjoy it there.

02:09:02.000 When we do shows there, man, they're like particularly epic shows.

02:09:05.000 Oh my god, yes.

02:09:07.000 Cap City.

02:09:08.000 Yeah, man.

02:09:10.000 Yeah.

02:09:10.000 Cap City's amazing.

02:09:12.000 Austin City Limits, that theater there, that's amazing.

02:09:17.000 Yeah, it's a special place, man, in my eyes.

02:09:20.000 Texas is a different spot.

02:09:23.000 It's more rowdy than a lot of places in the country, but it's also friendly.

02:09:28.000 It's got a lot of good qualities, like a lightness to it.

02:09:32.000 It's like they greet you at the front of the store when you walk in, but they also make sure you're not stealing anything.

02:09:41.000 It's just a little more extreme on both levels.

02:09:44.000 Yeah.

02:09:45.000 But then there's like so much space too.

02:09:47.000 Like what you're talking about is just the cities.

02:09:49.000 And what's interesting is the cities are just a small percentage of this monstrous land mass that's known as Texas.

02:09:55.000 And you don't realize how big it is until you have to drive through it.

02:09:58.000 And you're like, oh my god.

02:09:59.000 Yeah.

02:09:59.000 It tastes like a day.

02:10:01.000 Yeah.

02:10:01.000 It's huge.

02:10:02.000 Huge.

02:10:03.000 It's an enormous state.

02:10:06.000 Great place, though.

02:10:07.000 It's crazy how states have different feels, man.

02:10:09.000 They really do.

02:10:11.000 Like, a show in Albany is just gonna be different than a show in Dallas.

02:10:14.000 It's just gonna be different.

02:10:16.000 I mean, it just is.

02:10:17.000 It's gonna be diabolically worse.

02:10:20.000 Albany, New York, oh my god, no.

02:10:24.000 Yeah, you didn't enjoy it up there, huh?

02:10:26.000 Never again.

02:10:28.000 What do you think it is?

02:10:29.000 You think it's just like a lack of opportunity up there?

02:10:31.000 The weather's not so good?

02:10:33.000 People feel trapped?

02:10:34.000 Yep.

02:10:34.000 Keep going.

02:10:35.000 You got it.

02:10:36.000 You're just getting started.

02:10:37.000 You're 100% right so far.

02:10:39.000 You could go on and on.

02:10:41.000 The why is the real question.

02:10:43.000 Why stop in Albany?

02:11:05.000 She's talking.

02:11:07.000 She keeps looking at us, smiling.

02:11:09.000 She knows she's on the show.

02:11:10.000 Yeah.

02:11:11.000 She doesn't even know what this show is.

02:11:13.000 I think she was about to plug her own podcast for a second. 0.87

02:11:15.000 I think this is going to be cool because she'll be on a podcast that she doesn't even know exists.

02:11:19.000 Right.

02:11:20.000 She'll never find it.

02:11:21.000 You think some of her friends will tell her?

02:11:24.000 Maybe.

02:11:28.000 But we're bringing this podcast on a plane down for a landing, young Tony.

02:11:33.000 So in conclusion, this is a crazy-ass night of awesome fights. 1.00

02:11:38.000 Stipe Miocic is a bad motherfucker. 1.00

02:11:40.000 Yes. 1.00

02:11:41.000 Cleveland, Ohio.

02:11:42.000 A lot of fun people to root for last night.

02:11:46.000 And my people dominated all the way through.

02:11:49.000 Everybody that I picked a 1-1.

02:11:51.000 Ioana is my everything.

02:11:53.000 I mean, we were really connected during that fight last night.

02:11:56.000 She's your everything?

02:11:56.000 Like your love?

02:11:57.000 She's your love?

02:11:58.000 Yeah.

02:11:58.000 I feel like this is real.

02:12:00.000 I really want it to be real.

02:12:02.000 She points, I mean, she stops in the middle of fights and looks over at you and points.

02:12:05.000 I'm so glad that you finally started to notice this because one of the funny things is I've been sort of telling you, like, you thought I was crazy.

02:12:13.000 Oh, no, it's definitely happening now.

02:12:14.000 But a few fights ago, you literally thought, I could tell by the way you were looking at me.

02:12:18.000 I thought you were trolling me.

02:12:19.000 Right, I know.

02:12:20.000 I know you did.

02:12:21.000 And I don't ever troll you when my point is.

02:12:23.000 It's like, I'm so glad that you're seeing it.

02:12:25.000 Because it's like, to me, it's like that part of Teen Wolf where Michael J. Fox goes to his dad and he's like, Dad, I'm a werewolf.

02:12:31.000 I'm a werewolf.

02:12:31.000 But the dad's like, I'm a werewolf too.

02:12:38.000 That's so true.

02:12:39.000 The fact that you finally saw it.

02:12:40.000 When she was doing that before the fifth round, she was just looking at me, pointing right at me and stuff. 0.74

02:12:46.000 And you and DC Cormier both look back at me over your right shoulders at the same time. 1.00

02:12:51.000 Like, is this motherfucker... 0.99

02:12:53.000 Yeah, I was not sure if it was you, and I looked back, and I'm like, God damn, she's pointing right where Tony was sitting. 1.00

02:12:59.000 And she kept doing it, and she kept looking at me after each round and everything, and I feel like we're exchanging energy.

02:13:05.000 I feel like we need to do a podcast with her, and then you and her need to go to dinner.

02:13:09.000 Yeah.

02:13:11.000 Just whatever you do, don't talk about it on the internet, or her boyfriend will find out.

02:13:15.000 Too late?

02:13:16.000 I don't care about her boyfriend.

02:13:18.000 Ha ha.

02:13:18.000 He's a soccer player from Poland.

02:13:21.000 Dude, don't out the guy. 1.00

02:13:23.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

02:13:24.000 God, so ruthless. 1.00

02:13:27.000 Ruthless Tony Hinchcliffe.

02:13:29.000 What do you got coming up, man?

02:13:30.000 You got some dates?

02:13:31.000 Huge dates.

02:13:32.000 You're doing a big tour, right?

02:13:33.000 The Monster Energy Outbreak Tour all of the month of August.

02:13:37.000 Nashville. 0.98

02:13:38.000 You're like a STD. Everywhere. 1.00

02:13:40.000 You're in Outbreak?

02:13:40.000 Yeah, the Monster Energy Outbreak Tour.

02:13:42.000 That's what it's called.

02:13:43.000 Wait a minute.

02:13:43.000 Is Outbreak like a beverage that Monster Energy has?

02:13:47.000 No, that's the tour that they do.

02:13:49.000 Oh, they do their own tour.

02:13:50.000 Normally they do it with like rappers and stuff.

02:13:53.000 And, you know, Monster like doesn't do billboards and...

02:13:56.000 Yeah.

02:14:09.000 And it's been very successful.

02:14:11.000 I'm really excited to be doing it.

02:14:12.000 Fetty Wap and the Chainsmokers.

02:14:15.000 But what do they do when you say they do a tour?

02:14:19.000 Do they put their name on it?

02:14:22.000 Do they promote it?

02:14:23.000 Both.

02:14:24.000 Yeah, they do that.

02:14:25.000 And it's just a really cool way of not compromising anything's integrity while just...

02:14:32.000 I think?

02:14:51.000 House of Blues in Cleveland, Gramercy Theater in New York City, and we're just absolutely going everywhere.

02:14:56.000 North Carolina, Florida, I mean, you name it.

02:14:59.000 That's dope. 0.93

02:15:00.000 Columbus, Ohio, Cleveland, everywhere.

02:15:02.000 Powerful Tony in Portland.

02:15:04.000 Portland, Seattle, the Aladdin Theater in Portland.

02:15:08.000 Oh man, how fun is Portland?

02:15:10.000 Oh my god.

02:15:11.000 How fun was 420 there?

02:15:12.000 A blast. 1.00

02:15:13.000 That shit was epic. 1.00

02:15:15.000 That's a real holiday that became a holiday during our life. 1.00

02:15:19.000 Totally.

02:15:20.000 Really during the last, like what, 20 years maybe?

02:15:22.000 Yeah.

02:15:23.000 Nobody used to do 420 shows, but just a few years ago, I started doing 420 shows on April 20th, and it's a holiday, man.

02:15:31.000 It's a holiday for us.

02:15:33.000 It feels festive.

02:15:34.000 When we go out and we did those 420 shows, last year and this year, they feel festive. 0.98

02:15:41.000 Where the fuck did we go last year? 0.96

02:15:43.000 Seattle. 0.99

02:15:44.000 Seattle for 420 last year.

02:15:46.000 Next year, probably either Denver or maybe San Francisco.

02:15:50.000 That would be fun.

02:15:52.000 Denver might be fun, but San Francisco gets it too.

02:15:55.000 Might be fun to do it up there.

02:15:56.000 I'm going to Denver too.

02:15:58.000 I'm going absolutely everywhere.

02:15:59.000 All those dates are available at TonyHinchcliffe.com.

02:16:02.000 Jesus!

02:16:03.000 And there's an E on the end of that, unlike the picture that's up at the Ice House.

02:16:06.000 And I have three podcasts, Kill Tony, The Pony Hour, where I interview people, and The Store Horseman, which is a pro wrestling podcast.

02:16:15.000 Oh, God.

02:16:16.000 Oh, God.

02:16:18.000 I like the name.

02:16:19.000 Store Horseman?

02:16:20.000 Yeah.

02:16:20.000 It's like the Four Horsemen, but we're all from the Comedy Store.

02:16:23.000 I get it.

02:16:23.000 And so these are all at iTunes.

02:16:27.000 You get them all on iTunes, right?

02:16:28.000 Yeah.

02:16:29.000 Glorious.

02:16:29.000 Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're bringing this big bird down to the ground.

02:16:33.000 Just going to give a shout-out to all the mommies out there, because today's Mother's Day.

02:16:36.000 And future mommies too, like Joanna Janjacek.

02:16:39.000 Are you going to get her retired when you knock her up? 1.00

02:16:42.000 Yeah.

02:16:42.000 Wow.

02:16:43.000 We're going to double retire together.

02:16:45.000 Whoa.

02:16:46.000 You're going to retire too?

02:16:47.000 Well...

02:16:47.000 But you're going to be inspired after you have a kid.

02:16:49.000 Just for a little bit, yeah.

02:16:50.000 With that savage?

02:16:51.000 Yeah.

02:16:52.000 Oh, God.

02:16:53.000 You're going to have to learn how to fight.

02:16:54.000 I love it.

02:16:55.000 I'm going to have to learn how to satisfy a woman. 1.00

02:16:58.000 An actual woman.

02:17:00.000 All right, ladies and gentlemen, so one thing that did happen this week, Everlast had to cancel.

02:17:06.000 Something came up, so he won't be on this week, and he'll have to reschedule.

02:17:11.000 He's a busy man, but he's got his new... 0.99

02:17:15.000 New project, War Porn Industries, which is great shit. 0.99

02:17:18.000 You can catch it on YouTube. 0.98

02:17:20.000 You can catch some of the videos he's played.

02:17:21.000 Actually, I don't know if you can get it on YouTube.

02:17:23.000 I've seen it on Instagram, though.

02:17:25.000 But I think they're trying to figure out how to distribute or how you can get it.

02:17:32.000 But they're doing that.

02:17:33.000 That's an independent project.

02:17:34.000 I like that music is kind of going along the same ways that stand-up is going. 0.91

02:17:39.000 They're doing their own shit, and they're trying to do things independently.

02:17:44.000 I had Shirley Manson on the other day from Garbage and she was kind of breaking down the music business and what it's like and how difficult it is to make money as a band today and how now music companies They take everything. 0.99

02:17:59.000 They take a piece of your merchandise.

02:18:00.000 They take a piece of your live touring.

02:18:02.000 They take a percentage of everything.

02:18:04.000 Everything you do across the board.

02:18:06.000 So they do these deals with these artists where when they distribute their music, they essentially own a chunk of them.

02:18:12.000 Yeah, they do that in stand-up, though, and it's very weird.

02:18:16.000 How did it go on in stand-up?

02:18:17.000 Who's doing that in stand-up?

02:18:19.000 There's this weird company, you know?

02:18:21.000 Have you ever heard of Comedy Dynamics?

02:18:24.000 Who does that?

02:18:25.000 A lot of our friends.

02:18:27.000 They make a lot of our friends specials.

02:18:30.000 What do they do?

02:18:30.000 They distribute.

02:18:32.000 But what's weird is that they sell it, which they don't really sell it, but you need to have some of these big companies, you need to have like, it's the most bureaucratic bullshit you'll ever hear in your life. 0.98

02:18:43.000 You would never put up with it for a second. 0.88

02:18:45.000 You probably get to bypass it because you're obviously at the top of the game.

02:18:51.000 They make a deal where they don't own their special?

02:18:53.000 Is that what you're saying?

02:18:54.000 First of all, I don't think they own it forever.

02:18:58.000 Second of all, I don't think they own the entire thing.

02:19:02.000 But these companies take 20-30% of your special for absolutely zero reason.

02:19:08.000 Special that you already have to give, what, 10% to your manager and this and that, blah blah blah blah.

02:19:12.000 Well, I know there was a podcast production company that David Taylor and Ari Shafir had a real problem with.

02:19:18.000 Because they were pitching a television show, and they created a television show.

02:19:23.000 They wanted someone to help them try to sell it, like to set something up.

02:19:28.000 And these people apparently wanted a ridiculous amount of money, like 40% of the show.

02:19:33.000 And they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

02:19:35.000 There's 100%, and there's two of us, and you get 40? 1.00

02:19:39.000 Like, are you fucking crazy? 0.99

02:19:40.000 Like, they wanted more than a third. 1.00

02:19:48.000 Yeah.

02:20:06.000 But what's beautiful now is guys like you or me or all these people that do podcasts, you're all of a sudden your own content creator. 0.99

02:20:13.000 And you don't have to have all these fucking people in your ear. 0.96

02:20:17.000 You don't have to have everybody giving you their own opinion. 0.99

02:20:20.000 I made my Netflix special, man.

02:20:22.000 Yeah.

02:20:23.000 At the Ice House. 1.00

02:20:24.000 That shit's crazy. 1.00

02:20:25.000 Think about a show. 1.00

02:20:26.000 Have you ever done Colbert or one of those shows?

02:20:30.000 You ever done one of those?

02:20:31.000 No.

02:20:32.000 But when you do do those, one thing that you do realize... 1.00

02:20:35.000 By the way, you drank both my waters, you son of a bitch. 1.00

02:20:38.000 No, those are mine. 1.00

02:20:38.000 I had one, you had one. 1.00

02:20:40.000 No, you had one.

02:20:41.000 I have one right here.

02:20:44.000 When you watch those shows, you see how many people are working behind the scenes.

02:20:49.000 You're like, wait, wait, wait, hold on.

02:20:51.000 That's one thing that I noticed when I did that dude's, what's his name, Bill Russell, the podcast guy?

02:20:56.000 I did his HBO show.

02:20:58.000 I was like, Jesus Christ, it's him and me sitting down having a conversation, and there's a crew of people here.

02:21:05.000 This is essentially like an overstaffed podcast.

02:21:09.000 No doubt.

02:21:10.000 And because of that, it all gets weird.

02:21:12.000 It's all weird.

02:21:13.000 Yeah, when I made TV shows, man, I wrote some major Comedy Central shows, and the thing that shocked me the entire time, and I don't mean slight shock, I mean true shock, was the amazing waste of money.

02:21:28.000 They're just throwing money away.

02:21:32.000 Why do you think that is?

02:21:32.000 They don't know any better?

02:21:34.000 I think they're on an old Hollywood system, and when they were coming up, they were trained that way.

02:21:39.000 It's like if comedians all were still only focused on getting five minutes on The Tonight Show.

02:21:44.000 That's how I feel like some of those executives stayed.

02:21:48.000 Instead of being like, what's next?

02:21:50.000 Oh, this Netflix thing will never have to worry about that.

02:21:53.000 I remember one exec literally saying, I'm not kidding you.

02:21:57.000 In 2011, we don't have to worry about them.

02:21:59.000 We don't have to worry about the internet.

02:22:01.000 People will always come back to TV. TV is priceless.

02:22:05.000 They will always come back.

02:22:06.000 And I remember literally thinking...

02:22:08.000 I don't know about that!

02:22:10.000 Like, watching this stuff...

02:22:11.000 Well, it made sense.

02:22:12.000 Up until the point where you could watch the internet on your TV, and then all games were off.

02:22:16.000 Well, yeah, but he was also...

02:22:18.000 Yes.

02:22:18.000 But he wasn't saying it like that.

02:22:19.000 He was saying, like, they're always gonna need TV channels.

02:22:22.000 Like, he was saying, like...

02:22:24.000 Yeah.

02:22:24.000 Well, there's always people like that, man.

02:22:26.000 I mean, there's people that tell you you have to do clean comedy.

02:22:30.000 There's people that tell you you have to do this, you have to do that.

02:22:32.000 Right.

02:22:33.000 And they convince themselves, and then all of a sudden...

02:22:36.000 They can't even see the light.

02:22:37.000 Well, you remember that girl that you were dating that was telling you that you had to do dark comedy?

02:22:41.000 You should be all dark. 0.99

02:22:43.000 People give shit advice all the time. 1.00

02:22:46.000 They just do. 1.00

02:22:49.000 It's a real common thing, man.

02:22:52.000 Sometimes I wonder if they're trying to sabotage you.

02:22:56.000 Sometimes when I hear people's really shitty advice, I'm like, do you really believe this?

02:23:01.000 Or do you subconsciously want to sabotage this person?

02:23:04.000 Are you, like, not making sense, but you're pushing it, pretending you're making sense?

02:23:09.000 Like, what's really going on here?

02:23:11.000 Is this, like, your own internal turmoil bubbling to the surface?

02:23:14.000 Right.

02:23:15.000 I think a lot of people...

02:23:16.000 I think a lot of people want to be given advice from people they think are smart, so sometimes they'll give those people bad advice.

02:23:25.000 Not realizing that we know it's bad advice, hoping that we give them good advice.

02:23:30.000 Does that make sense?

02:23:30.000 Yes.

02:23:32.000 Maybe.

02:23:33.000 Like that you'll correct them and give them good advice.

02:23:35.000 I just think that some people are also egomaniacs and they think that they're right all the time.

02:23:40.000 Yeah, that too.

02:23:41.000 It's super hard to just step outside of yourself and look at your own opinions, look at someone else's opinions and go, hmm, who's right here?

02:23:50.000 Because you automatically want to think that you're right.

02:23:52.000 So you start out from the position that you're right.

02:23:56.000 It's because we get attached to ideas, and ideas sort of become a part of you.

02:24:01.000 They define you.

02:24:02.000 They're not just an idea.

02:24:03.000 It's you and your idea, all connected.

02:24:06.000 And that's a real problem that a lot of people have with thinking.

02:24:09.000 I've had it myself, and it's something that I've had to work really hard to push away, to knock out.

02:24:16.000 You know, thinking and learning how to think is like one of the weirdest things because it's one of the most important parts of life but it's one of the few things that we discuss here in school.

02:24:27.000 When you're in school, you're learning information.

02:24:29.000 But are you learning how to think?

02:24:31.000 Are you learning how to be objective?

02:24:33.000 Are you learning how to look at yourself and look at your actions and how you treat others and how you treat yourself and what distractions you're throwing up in your life in order to deal with your...

02:24:45.000 Especially if you're...

02:24:50.000 If you're not getting things done, if you're procrastinating, you're putting things off, if you have any addictions or things along those lines, you start creating all these problems in your life to distract yourself with.

02:25:01.000 And they don't teach you about that in school.

02:25:03.000 It's really interesting. 0.99

02:25:04.000 It's really interesting and they don't teach you a lot of shit. 0.98

02:25:08.000 Which is really interesting. 0.99

02:25:09.000 I was just thinking about this last night while I was smoking weed before going to bed.

02:25:14.000 And I was thinking, somebody gave me a dirty look because I was blatantly just smoking a joint like it was a cigarette in front of that hotel. 0.99

02:25:20.000 I don't give a fuck, right? 0.99

02:25:22.000 But somebody gave me a look like, eh, eh, like that look. 0.99

02:25:26.000 Well, in Texas they do that stuff.

02:25:27.000 I know. 0.99

02:25:28.000 In California nobody gives a shit. 0.99

02:25:30.000 That's why you're used to doing it. 0.98

02:25:32.000 If you're hanging out at the comedy store outside and someone sparks a joint up, it's super normal.

02:25:36.000 Yeah.

02:25:38.000 What's crazy is that, like, if I took out a pill bottle and put a pill in my hand and popped it in my mouth, people are like, ah!

02:25:46.000 Nobody even goes, what's that?

02:25:48.000 You know what I mean?

02:25:49.000 Oh, I think they do.

02:25:50.000 It could be anything.

02:25:51.000 Oh, I do.

02:25:52.000 I see somebody take a pill.

02:25:53.000 I'm like, what's going on, dude?

02:25:54.000 You tripping?

02:25:56.000 What are you up to, man?

02:25:58.000 If he's a stranger?

02:25:59.000 If I see a dude pop a pill and make eye contact, I very well might say, what's the pill, man?

02:26:07.000 I'm nosy.

02:26:08.000 Meanwhile, it's funny.

02:26:09.000 People get judgy about joints.

02:26:11.000 They'll have a drink right in front of you.

02:26:13.000 Right.

02:26:13.000 And an antidepressant.

02:26:15.000 And a painkiller.

02:26:17.000 And an anxiety medicine.

02:26:19.000 But they'll give you a funny look for smoking a joint, self-medicating after meditating.

02:26:24.000 You know what I mean?

02:26:24.000 Yeah, but the joint, the problem is it smells.

02:26:27.000 Maybe you went to the gym.

02:26:27.000 Other people have to smell it.

02:26:29.000 And some people think about secondhand smoke.

02:26:31.000 And they think you're making them smell this thing that you're doing.

02:26:36.000 You see what I'm saying?

02:26:37.000 Yeah, I guess the smelling part.

02:26:39.000 Yeah.

02:26:40.000 It's like someone with a big stinky cigar. 1.00

02:26:42.000 If they're sitting right next to you at a bar, you'd be like, oh Jesus, this guy, this stinky ass cigar. 1.00

02:26:47.000 Or cigarettes. 1.00

02:26:48.000 So you smoke cigarettes so you don't realize how vile they are.

02:26:51.000 But when someone else who doesn't smoke cigarettes smells them, like, I had to be with Stan Hope.

02:26:56.000 We were in a closed room.

02:26:57.000 We were talking about something.

02:26:58.000 Then he just sparks up.

02:27:00.000 We're in the comedy store bar, the little comedian's bar.

02:27:02.000 I had to stand outside.

02:27:03.000 I'm like, dude, you just smoked three cigarettes in five minutes.

02:27:06.000 I gotta go outside.

02:27:07.000 There's no air left in this room.

02:27:08.000 It's just all cigarette smoke.

02:27:10.000 You don't even think about it because it's super normal.

02:27:12.000 I love it.

02:27:15.000 How much do you smoke now?

02:27:17.000 I'm cutting back a little bit.

02:27:19.000 Pack a day?

02:27:20.000 A little bit less.

02:27:21.000 A little bit less.

02:27:22.000 We're getting there.

02:27:23.000 I'm doing some work.

02:27:24.000 I just got this DVD set that's supposed to hypnotize the magic out of it.

02:27:30.000 It's supposed to make you realize what a terrible person you are for smoking cigarettes.

02:27:35.000 Well, you're not a terrible person. 1.00

02:27:36.000 You're just being silly. 1.00

02:27:37.000 Just torturing yourself. 1.00

02:27:38.000 I know that it's bad.

02:27:40.000 It's an interesting feeling, though.

02:27:42.000 I've smoked one of your cigarettes before.

02:27:45.000 It gives you, like, a little head rush.

02:27:46.000 Like, it's good to do right before a show, I think.

02:27:48.000 Yeah.

02:27:49.000 I mean, I don't think you should do it, because if you do it, you'll get addicted, and you'll smoke a lot of them.

02:27:53.000 Yeah.

02:27:54.000 But if you're the type of person that could smoke one cigarette and then go do something, I think it has a...

02:27:59.000 It's been kind of proven that nicotine...

02:28:01.000 You actually wouldn't have to smoke.

02:28:02.000 You should just take nicotine gum.

02:28:04.000 Right.

02:28:04.000 But that nicotine has a cognitive benefit, that it's actually, like, a nootropic...

02:28:11.000 That's good.

02:28:12.000 I can't imagine writing or performing without nicotine.

02:28:15.000 That part's weird.

02:28:17.000 Wow, that's crazy.

02:28:19.000 I can go without anything else, but that part's crazy.

02:28:22.000 That's crazy that you think that.

02:28:23.000 I started on it. 1.00

02:28:24.000 You know, it sucks. 0.98

02:28:25.000 Where I'm from in Youngstown, I'm not making lazy excuses, but... 0.94

02:28:28.000 Where I'm from, tons of people smoked, everybody smoked, and my parents smoked, and, you know, they both quit now, but when I was growing up, it was like, I thought my dad was cool as hell, this cool Italian guy, what up tone, and he'd light up a cigarette all cool,

02:28:43.000 like a real Italian guy, with a Zippo and a pack of Marlboro lights, and he looked cool, and it And my favorite movie was Goodfellas my whole life, and everybody makes smoking look cool in that. 0.99

02:28:54.000 Ray Leona, Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci, everybody's fucking smoking. 0.96

02:28:58.000 They're selling cigarettes, eating pasta, taking the lobster out of the ice. 0.99

02:29:03.000 Everything looks better in that movie.

02:29:06.000 It is crazy that cigarettes are thought of as a cool thing. 0.99

02:29:10.000 And it's also, there's a thing where you know that it's bad for you and you're doing it anyway because you don't give a fuck. 0.99

02:29:15.000 It is. 1.00

02:29:16.000 It's definitely the weirdest, stupidest thing that I do. 1.00

02:29:20.000 Like... 0.99

02:29:21.000 I've never even tried cocaine, not once, which I think is almost like unheard of for somebody doing stand-up in LA for 10 years.

02:29:29.000 I've never tried it either.

02:29:30.000 Really?

02:29:31.000 Nope.

02:29:32.000 Yeah, but meanwhile, and the reason why I don't try it is because I don't, you know, I don't want to know.

02:29:38.000 I don't...

02:29:39.000 Well, I did a tea once.

02:29:41.000 It's called mate de coca.

02:29:42.000 It's a tea that you make with coca leaves.

02:29:46.000 And it's not, it's like a super mild tea.

02:29:49.000 Like, you know, the coca leaves, they chew them and it gives them energy, almost like a coffee thing.

02:29:54.000 But I didn't like the feeling. 0.98

02:29:55.000 I couldn't shut the fuck up. 0.98

02:29:56.000 I was talking too much. 0.98

02:29:59.000 I was just feeling like really, and that was just from that.

02:30:03.000 I was like, God, what would I be like on coke?

02:30:05.000 Yeah. 0.95

02:30:07.000 I think that has a lot to do with my shitty environment coming up.

02:30:13.000 And now that I'm used to doing everything with that crutch, I'm just trying to slowly retrain my brain and slowly create new habits and figure it all out.

02:30:25.000 But I'm definitely going to quit here soon.

02:30:28.000 Start smoking more pop.

02:30:30.000 Good move.

02:30:31.000 Yeah.

02:30:31.000 Yeah, I mean, it's so bad for your health.

02:30:35.000 Like, you don't want to die young, man.

02:30:36.000 No, I don't.

02:30:37.000 And you don't want to, like, have a slow death, either.

02:30:40.000 Yeah, the worst thing is, that's what my doctor said. 1.00

02:30:43.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:30:44.000 That's it, ladies and gentlemen. 1.00

02:30:45.000 And on that note, we're going to wrap this bitch up. 1.00

02:30:49.000 I'm bringing it on down. 0.99

02:30:50.000 I see the ground outside the window.

02:30:52.000 Yep.

02:30:54.000 No chemtrails, again.

02:30:56.000 Yep.

02:30:56.000 I keep waiting.

02:30:57.000 Alright folks, we'll see ya.

02:30:59.000 Thanks, bye.

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 16, 2017

Joe Rogan Experience - Podcast On A Plane UFC 211 Recap

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