The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #998 - Owen Benjamin

00:00:00.000 Hey everybody, what's up?

00:00:02.000 Hmm?

00:00:03.000 How you doing?

00:00:04.000 Got a lot of podcasts coming this week.

00:00:06.000 I got some good ones.

00:00:07.000 This one's a good one.

00:00:08.000 We just got done with it, so I'm aware.

00:00:10.000 It's not like I'm promising you some shit that's not taking place yet.

00:00:15.000 It was a good one.

00:00:16.000 Owen Benjamin's on the show today.

00:00:18.000 He's fucking hilarious.

00:00:19.000 And we had a grand old time.

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00:01:00.000 Like, what's that, too?

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00:04:28.000 And we're brought to you each and every episode by Onit.com.

00:04:32.000 Onit is a total human optimization company.

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00:07:07.000 All right, my guest today is a friend of mine from the comedy scene in Lochangras.

00:07:13.000 And Owen Benjamin is a funny dude, and I wanted to have him on for a long time.

00:07:16.000 He's very well known for being on the church of what's happening now with Joey Diaz and eating too many stars of death.

00:07:23.000 And he vanished into the night.

00:07:25.000 I think he just said, I'll be right back, and fucking ran out of there like a wild cat.

00:07:29.000 Wow!

00:07:30.000 Joey will do that to people.

00:07:32.000 He's dark.

00:07:32.000 He goes dark on you.

00:07:34.000 Anyway, very funny dude, very good guy, very smart guy.

00:07:37.000 And we had a fun, silly time.

00:07:39.000 And we talked about some serious stuff too.

00:07:41.000 Give it up for Owen Benjamin.

00:07:44.000 Joe Rogan podcast.

00:07:45.000 Check it out.

00:07:46.000 The Joe Rogan experience.

00:07:48.000 Join my day.

00:07:49.000 Joe Rogan podcast my night all day.

00:07:53.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Owen Benjamin.

00:07:55.000 Good.

00:07:55.000 How are you, brother?

00:07:56.000 Thanks for having me.

00:07:56.000 Thanks for coming here, man.

00:07:57.000 I appreciate it.

00:07:58.000 We were just talking about kind of being outside of the bubble of the big cities and living in a nice, calm place, you know, like you're doing now.

00:08:08.000 Yeah, like there's chickens.

00:08:10.000 Oh, that's the move, man.

00:08:11.000 It's the move.

00:08:12.000 Because you could visit.

00:08:13.000 You could visit this crazy, fucked up place.

00:08:15.000 Yeah, that's why when you asked me to do this, I was like, yeah, I'm excited to visit LA.

00:08:22.000 And then I'll go back to like, you know, my brother and my family and a mountain and a lake.

00:08:26.000 Yeah, that's the way to do it.

00:08:28.000 If you can do it that way, that's the way to do it.

00:08:30.000 Yeah.

00:08:31.000 See, it's like there's some real benefits to living in a city, but there's also some real benefits to being outside of it.

00:08:37.000 I think that if you could figure out some sort of 50-50 thing like you're doing, like visit and then bolt, that's the move.

00:08:42.000 Yeah, it's also kind of altruistic.

00:08:44.000 Like 3,000 people, like I go back and forth between here and there, and I'm like, if someone dies, like everyone chips in if they can't afford it.

00:08:53.000 It works so well in small groups.

00:08:56.000 Yeah.

00:08:56.000 You know, and then the bigger the group, the more it gets a little dicey.

00:08:59.000 It's a totally different way of living.

00:09:01.000 I feel like living in a small group is, you know, as long as it's a good group, you get stuck with a bad group.

00:09:07.000 And that's a real issue, too.

00:09:08.000 You know, like for some crazy meth heads that live down the street and they like to shoot things up in the middle of the night.

00:09:14.000 Well, that's part of your little small group.

00:09:16.000 And I delivered papers to those guys when I was a kid.

00:09:19.000 Did you do the car thing or the bike thing?

00:09:21.000 Bike and walk. 0.98

00:09:22.000 Oh, yeah.

00:09:24.000 Someone stole my bike.

00:09:25.000 So I went back to walking.

00:09:26.000 So you got to, you develop some serious fucking core muscles carrying around all those newspapers.

00:09:32.000 Do you have a wagon or do you just do the bag thing?

00:09:34.000 No, I did the bag thing.

00:09:36.000 The bag thing?

00:09:36.000 I used to carry my dog in it.

00:09:37.000 I was strong, dude.

00:09:38.000 Yeah.

00:09:39.000 For real.

00:09:40.000 If you think about that, like people put sandbags on or weight vests on, rather, and they do all kinds of exercises.

00:09:45.000 And it's like 40 pounds.

00:09:47.000 Well, if you're like an adult, 40 pounds is like a good amount of weight to do like chin-ups and push-ups and stuff with a weight vest on.

00:09:53.000 But if you're a little kid, how old were you?

00:09:56.000 Nine to 13.

00:09:58.000 Dude, think how weak you are when you're nine and someone's strapping down newspapers on you.

00:10:04.000 Yeah, and that was chubby, too.

00:10:06.000 I bet it made you strong as fuck.

00:10:07.000 It definitely helped me get into puberty.

00:10:10.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:10:11.000 And also power.

00:10:12.000 Like people do that for exercise.

00:10:14.000 You know, like farmer's walks.

00:10:15.000 You ever seen farmers walk?

00:10:16.000 They put like a barbell.

00:10:16.000 Oh, yeah, totally.

00:10:19.000 I can't even say the word.

00:10:20.000 You put a dumbbell in each hand and just walk or a kettlebell.

00:10:24.000 And just carry it.

00:10:24.000 Just walk.

00:10:25.000 Just carry the weight of the world.

00:10:26.000 It also makes you emotionally strong to be nine and like have to knock on a door like a pimp.

00:10:31.000 Wow.

00:10:32.000 You owe me a dollar.

00:10:34.000 That's right.

00:10:34.000 You got to collect.

00:10:36.000 That was always a giant issue.

00:10:38.000 Collection.

00:10:39.000 Yeah, I only had a couple people that I had to collect from.

00:10:42.000 By the time that I had started delivering newspapers, they figured out how to do like these withdrawals from people's accounts.

00:10:48.000 Like, you know, they would pay for it in advance.

00:10:52.000 Somehow another, like, get a bank account withdrawal or something.

00:10:52.000 Yeah.

00:10:56.000 I didn't have to build them.

00:10:57.000 That was my point.

00:10:58.000 Right.

00:10:58.000 But a couple people I did, and they have these little tan envelopes.

00:11:01.000 You'd have to leave the tan envelope.

00:11:03.000 They put the money in the envelope.

00:11:04.000 It was so weird.

00:11:05.000 It was also outdated.

00:11:07.000 Yeah, it was like 19th century newspaper delivery.

00:11:10.000 And also, like, if someone said they left it and you know that they didn't, like someone else took it and then they put it on a nine-year-old, it was like, it was intense to have to argue them down and be like, no, you do have to pay me.

00:11:21.000 I have overhead.

00:11:22.000 You know, I got my own guys.

00:11:24.000 And here's a little tip for people.

00:11:27.000 I don't want to be that dick, but if someone asks, if you put the newspaper inside their door, you kind of have to do it.

00:11:34.000 You got to do it.

00:11:35.000 That's a real drag if you're driving.

00:11:38.000 Because if you're driving, what you want to do is you want to just chuck that sucker down either the pathway or in the driveway and keep moving.

00:11:45.000 Boom, you got a lot of newspapers, son.

00:11:48.000 Keep moving, keep moving.

00:11:49.000 If you've got a volume business, it's a volume business.

00:11:53.000 You know, and they'd be like, you know, well, we'll take care of you on Christmas.

00:11:56.000 I'm like, dude, it's not.

00:11:57.000 There's no way it could be worth it.

00:11:58.000 It's like way more.

00:11:59.000 It's cold out.

00:12:00.000 I got to get out of the car.

00:12:02.000 I got to carry it.

00:12:02.000 I got to go all the way up your walkway, open your door.

00:12:05.000 That shit takes time.

00:12:06.000 If you had to do that with every house, it'd be impossible.

00:12:08.000 Impossible.

00:12:09.000 And also because of the winters.

00:12:11.000 And we didn't have plastic.

00:12:13.000 I was in a very outdated system.

00:12:14.000 You didn't have plastic for the bags?

00:12:16.000 No.

00:12:16.000 Whoa, that's crazy.

00:12:18.000 That doesn't even make sense.

00:12:20.000 No, it was a badly run newspaper.

00:12:22.000 We had plastic sometimes, but sometimes we just had rubber bands.

00:12:26.000 Like there was a, like it depended on the weather.

00:12:29.000 You didn't always have plastic.

00:12:30.000 But then they moved to plastic like later.

00:12:32.000 New York Times always had plastic and it was blue.

00:12:36.000 I took a New York Times route just because there was extra prestige in delivering the New York Times in my mind.

00:12:41.000 That's hilarious.

00:12:43.000 They're like, no, I'm not USA Today anymore, bro.

00:12:45.000 Well, I knew this guy who was really smart who also delivered newspapers.

00:12:49.000 He was like a whole community of people that delivered newspapers.

00:12:51.000 There's this one guy, one guy.

00:12:53.000 I remember this dude.

00:12:53.000 He was a very, very smart guy.

00:12:55.000 He was a music composer, and he drove a Hyundai.

00:12:59.000 He was explaining To me, how much engineering and time that South Korea had gone into before they created this automobile.

00:13:07.000 He's like, believe me.

00:13:09.000 He's like, these will be so reliable.

00:13:12.000 Like, if Koreans are going to put out a car, it's going to be the shit. 1.00

00:13:14.000 Like, they are not going to fuck it up.

00:13:17.000 And this dude delivered newspapers and he had the New York Times as part of his route.

00:13:22.000 And I was like, wow, he's sophisticated.

00:13:24.000 He's into classical music.

00:13:26.000 He knows a lot about North Korea and South Korea.

00:13:29.000 Yeah, I didn't know shit.

00:13:30.000 I was like, how does this guy know so much?

00:13:32.000 Yeah, I just knew like dinosaurs and sharks.

00:13:36.000 Like, I would just constantly read about dinosaurs.

00:13:38.000 Like, I could name every dinosaur, but I didn't know anything about the New York Times.

00:13:42.000 Did you see that new one that they found?

00:13:44.000 The Titanosaurus?

00:13:45.000 No, but that sounds incredible.

00:13:47.000 Fuck yeah, it does.

00:13:48.000 It took me back to being 12 again.

00:13:50.000 I was like, yes, what an awesome name.

00:13:52.000 Titanosaurus.

00:13:54.000 Yeah, that would like explain it to my friends and almost take it like it made me big.

00:13:58.000 Yeah.

00:13:58.000 Be like, it's so big, like eight cars could fit in it.

00:14:02.000 And be like, whoa.

00:14:03.000 I think they said it's something like eight elephants, something crazy like that.

00:14:07.000 Yeah.

00:14:08.000 It's gigantic.

00:14:09.000 It's the biggest dinosaur that they've ever discovered.

00:14:11.000 And I feel like they discovered it within the last decade.

00:14:14.000 Look at the size of this motherfucker. 0.96

00:14:17.000 Jamie, can you rewind that to the very beginning where you see the full body video?

00:14:20.000 I'm not going to show it yet, really.

00:14:21.000 Oh, okay.

00:14:22.000 Whoa.

00:14:22.000 Look at the size of this fucking thing.

00:14:24.000 Newly named species, the largest mammal, animal rather, to ever walk the earth.

00:14:28.000 The titanosaur fossil was discovered in Argentina in 2013.

00:14:34.000 Am I saying it right?

00:14:35.000 Titanosaur?

00:14:36.000 I think so.

00:14:37.000 Totally.

00:14:38.000 Scientists use tri-dimensional reconstruction to measure the mass.

00:14:41.000 Woo! 0.99

00:14:42.000 Look at the size of that fucking thing.

00:14:43.000 God.

00:14:44.000 Meat, meat, or veggie?

00:14:45.000 Oh, veggie.

00:14:47.000 We're so lucky.

00:14:48.000 That thing would still be around.

00:14:49.000 It would win every fight.

00:14:49.000 Yeah, it would.

00:14:51.000 Estimated.

00:14:51.000 It's as heavy as 12 elephants or a full Boeing 737.

00:14:56.000 Jesus fucking the skeleton at the American Museum of Natural History in New York is so large, dot, dot, dot.

00:15:05.000 Well, what?

00:15:06.000 You can leave it.

00:15:07.000 How large is it?

00:15:08.000 That its head sticks out.

00:15:10.000 Oh, shit.

00:15:11.000 That's embarrassing.

00:15:12.000 It's like just too big of a dick.

00:15:14.000 Do you think duct dicks back then were just like 20 feet long?

00:15:18.000 Duct dicks probably had like, yeah, I mean, duct dicks today can be like nine inches long for like a little tiny duck, right? 1.00

00:15:25.000 Isn't that the deal?

00:15:26.000 Like, Andrea?

00:15:27.000 Antonopoulos, he thought for some reason it was like three feet long, and he had me really super psyched.

00:15:33.000 It's huge.

00:15:34.000 It's still pretty big.

00:15:36.000 It's not quite three feet long, but what a crazy little scenario that ducks have.

00:15:40.000 Yeah, like duck dick per body ounce must be like massive.

00:15:45.000 Massive.

00:15:45.000 Like a thigh.

00:15:48.000 Right?

00:15:49.000 Like I literally had another thigh.

00:15:52.000 Because like the female duck has two vaginas. 1.00

00:15:56.000 You know this, the party pussy? 1.00

00:15:57.000 Well, they can decide like to let you in at every turn.

00:16:02.000 Yeah, it's a labyrinth.

00:16:03.000 Yeah.

00:16:04.000 And that's why the duck dick is like this weird curly cue apparatus type thing. 0.83

00:16:09.000 And the length, because it's like the little tiny factors will affect the next generation.

00:16:13.000 So like one duck had like a slightly longer, windier wiener that could like manage the vagina. 1.00

00:16:19.000 And there was this like really weird discussion, this really weird scientific discussion about ducks and whether all duck sex was rape.

00:16:28.000 I think I was in on that one.

00:16:29.000 But they were trying to determine.

00:16:31.000 But like coming from someone me who has chickens and I get to see these animals' behavior and other birds that I've watched in my neighborhood, I posted a picture on Instagram recently of a hawk.

00:16:41.000 There's a hawk war going on in my neighborhood.

00:16:44.000 Wow.

00:16:44.000 Hawks are killing hawks and they kill them and they cut their heads off and then they eat parts of their body.

00:16:51.000 I'm pretty sure it's hawks doing it because one of my neighbors saw a hawk eating another hawk, like a baby hawk, in a nest.

00:17:00.000 So they think that somehow another these hawks, these young juvenile hawks, are fighting to try to take over this area.

00:17:00.000 Whoa.

00:17:00.000 Yeah.

00:17:07.000 It's fatal.

00:17:08.000 That's like gang stuff.

00:17:09.000 Dude, it is gang stuff.

00:17:10.000 One of them came swooping into my chicken coop the other day.

00:17:12.000 Yeah.

00:17:13.000 Slammed into the cage outside the chicken coop.

00:17:15.000 Like the door was shut, but it slammed into it like it was trying to get in to get the chickens.

00:17:19.000 I was like, whoa, this dude is bold as fuck.

00:17:22.000 I got an owl in my hood trying to get my chickens.

00:17:25.000 Yeah.

00:17:25.000 Do you?

00:17:26.000 Dude, owls are scary.

00:17:27.000 Owls are terrifying. 1.00

00:17:28.000 Like they could take out a dog.

00:17:30.000 They're a big animal, man.

00:17:31.000 People fucked up with owls with those goddamn movies, making them the wise old cute thing. 0.51

00:17:36.000 Because we're so just flying terror.

00:17:39.000 They're just out there testing lollipops and, you know, and giving out wisdom.

00:17:44.000 They're just licking lollipops and giving out wisdom, man.

00:17:47.000 Dude, when you see one in real life, you're like, oh, you're a fucking dinosaur.

00:17:51.000 Oh, my God.

00:17:52.000 Goddamn flying talon-covered dinosaur.

00:17:55.000 Yeah, they took out a few of my chickens, and I got pretty pissed.

00:17:58.000 I'm sure they did.

00:17:59.000 I'm sure they did.

00:18:00.000 You know what, man?

00:18:01.000 I am thinking in my neighborhood that someone used some sort of a rodent pesticide.

00:18:08.000 Interesting.

00:18:10.000 I really think that happened because I was reading about this, that some owls wind up dying because, and coyotes as well, because they'll eat rodents that were infected by this rodent pesticide.

00:18:23.000 It's poison they give for rats, just rat poison.

00:18:26.000 And animals eat the rats and then they get it and die off.

00:18:29.000 And they were talking about owls in specific who are really important for taking control of a population of rodents.

00:18:36.000 Yeah, and they got sweet necks, too.

00:18:37.000 We still don't think of what they are, man.

00:18:39.000 They are flying murderers.

00:18:42.000 We just, we made them something cute.

00:18:45.000 Yeah.

00:18:46.000 No, like when you live in the woods, you're confronted with that constantly.

00:18:49.000 He's just really a raccoon.

00:18:51.000 Oh, sketchy.

00:18:52.000 Like, raccoons can, in their intelligence level.

00:18:54.000 Like, my brother had to kill one with a pitchfork recently.

00:18:58.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:18:59.000 Yeah, he was in the coop.

00:19:01.000 I was trying to kill chickens.

00:19:01.000 Oh, my.

00:19:02.000 Oh, yeah.

00:19:03.000 And they'll open like locks and stuff.

00:19:05.000 Like, they have like fingers and hands.

00:19:07.000 Dude, there was one in my neighborhood, and he was coming towards a chicken coop at night, and the chickens were going crazy.

00:19:12.000 It was late at night.

00:19:14.000 And I shone the flashlight on him, and he started walking towards it.

00:19:17.000 Oh, man.

00:19:18.000 I was like, fuck this.

00:19:20.000 Fuck this.

00:19:20.000 I'm out of here, man.

00:19:21.000 And their sound, their scream is nuts.

00:19:24.000 Oh, fuck that.

00:19:24.000 I want to hear a raccoon scream.

00:19:26.000 I saw Guardians of the Galaxy.

00:19:28.000 That little dude was the scariest guy.

00:19:29.000 That Little raccoon with the guns and smart.

00:19:29.000 Yeah.

00:19:31.000 He was smart as fuck.

00:19:32.000 Did you see two?

00:19:33.000 No, I haven't seen two yet.

00:19:34.000 Dude, I cried on the plane watching it.

00:19:36.000 Paul, sweetie.

00:19:37.000 No, but look, I don't really cry much in life.

00:19:39.000 But every now and then, like, some big archetypal movie will just grab me.

00:19:43.000 They can get you, especially once you're a parent.

00:19:45.000 You know, then you'll watch much more vulnerable.

00:19:48.000 What is that?

00:19:48.000 A duck dick?

00:19:49.000 We're looking at a duck dick right there? 1.00

00:19:51.000 How is that even real?

00:19:52.000 There's a nice fact they had here on the forced copulation.

00:19:56.000 Male ducks are notorious for attempting forced copulation with females. 0.52

00:19:59.000 So females seem to have involved vaginas to make it hard for a male duck to actually inseminate them if they don't want to by forcing it towards the dead ends. 1.00

00:20:08.000 Oh, wow, they have dead ends.

00:20:09.000 They have like trap doors.

00:20:11.000 Of course, male ducks haven't taken this lying down.

00:20:14.000 The more forced copulation a duck engages in, the longer the male's penises tend to be, according to a 2010 study. 0.96

00:20:21.000 Whoa.

00:20:22.000 So their dicks get longer the more they rape. 1.00

00:20:24.000 I wonder if the female duck like laughs a little, like when the rapey duck's like, meh, and she's like, meh, because she like sent them the wrong way. 1.00

00:20:31.000 She's like, she's like, you're not going to get me pregnant, but I just keep expelling calories.

00:20:31.000 Maybe.

00:20:36.000 Look at this quote.

00:20:37.000 In fact, male ducks grow a new penis every year.

00:20:42.000 Whoa.

00:20:42.000 Which means they can vary the length depending on that year's competition.

00:20:48.000 Holy shit.

00:20:50.000 You imagine if your dick fell off every year like elk antlers and every year it grew back.

00:20:55.000 Like for like months, nobody had sex and everybody was cool with each other.

00:20:57.000 And we're like, God, can't we just be like this all the time?

00:21:00.000 Like imagine if it was just like we had a season like animals have.

00:21:03.000 Maybe that's our problem.

00:21:04.000 We're such gluttons.

00:21:05.000 We should have a breeding season.

00:21:07.000 We should have a season where literally our dick falls off and then it grows back. 0.89

00:21:12.000 It grows back.

00:21:12.000 Like if you could re-engineer people to have like a three-month period, like a off-season.

00:21:19.000 Let's have a little off season.

00:21:20.000 Yeah.

00:21:20.000 You know, where there's no genders.

00:21:22.000 There's no male, there's no female, there's no nothing. 1.00

00:21:24.000 Everybody's dick falls off and everybody just chills out for a little bit and doesn't think about anything but just life.

00:21:29.000 Existential shit.

00:21:30.000 You know, get some rental property.

00:21:33.000 Yeah, think about like going to the beach more.

00:21:35.000 Like, why don't I go to the beach more?

00:21:36.000 I always enjoy it.

00:21:37.000 It feels good when I'm there.

00:21:38.000 And then the dick size and shape will tell you what the year is to come.

00:21:41.000 Yeah.

00:21:42.000 It's like, oh, it's a 15-incher.

00:21:43.000 We got some serious war ahead of us.

00:21:45.000 We got problems.

00:21:46.000 Yeah, because like chimp ball size is directly proportionate to the amount of sluts that are near them. 1.00

00:21:55.000 That's the thing with primates for some reason.

00:21:55.000 Whoa.

00:21:58.000 There was some correlation between promiscuous females and like women having sex with more than one, I mean in a derogatory term, just like scientifically. 0.90

00:22:06.000 They were saying that women who were having sex with more males, those males grew bigger dicks and bigger balls.

00:22:15.000 Sperm competition. 0.83

00:22:16.000 Like literally their balls got bigger.

00:22:16.000 Yeah.

00:22:18.000 I think that was like provable.

00:22:20.000 I don't know if the dick was provable.

00:22:22.000 People feel weird about studying dicks.

00:22:24.000 They do.

00:22:25.000 And there's so much, like, there's so many great stories if you study a dick.

00:22:28.000 But if, like, you're a dick doctor, people are like, hey, why that?

00:22:34.000 You don't stall into that.

00:22:36.000 That's what I prefer to call them.

00:22:38.000 It's the correct nomenclature.

00:22:40.000 You know, everyone wants to say penis, but.

00:22:42.000 My daddy was a cock doctor.

00:22:43.000 His daddy was a cock doctor.

00:22:44.000 We've always been studying.

00:22:46.000 It seems so important yet.

00:22:48.000 Everyone's so ashamed.

00:22:50.000 Have you read sperm wars?

00:22:52.000 You know what?

00:22:52.000 No, I did not.

00:22:53.000 But I think that's been disproven.

00:22:55.000 There was a study that they did where they could not recreate the idea that some sperm actually attack sperm and kill them.

00:23:05.000 They couldn't show that there was a real differentiation in cells, like there were cells that have the ability to go out and kill other sperm.

00:23:12.000 They were saying that that was more theoretical than anything, and the guy who originally wrote it might have like leaped to a conclusion.

00:23:18.000 I can see that.

00:23:19.000 Obviously, I don't know shit.

00:23:20.000 But this is just what I had read, was that like scientifically, it doesn't really jive.

00:23:25.000 But what does jive is with primates, this idea that the more females are around, the more you grow more balls and you grow like bigger loads, I'm sure. 0.57

00:23:36.000 That was definitely about load size.

00:23:38.000 Do you think they measure load size, though?

00:23:39.000 How are they going to like, hold on, chimp, before you come? 1.00

00:23:43.000 Come over here, little fella. 1.00

00:23:44.000 Why don't you pull out and come on this chimp over here? 1.00

00:23:46.000 Yeah, how would you be able to tell?

00:23:48.000 How would you be able to study chimp load size? 1.00

00:23:51.000 They probably just surround him with a bunch of slutty chimps and then one brave dude just has to jerk him off. 1.00

00:23:57.000 No one's that brave.

00:23:59.000 Yeah, because chimps will just rip your face out. 1.00

00:24:01.000 Plus, they know that a hand job is not the best thing.

00:24:04.000 They're like, we can do better than this.

00:24:06.000 Yeah.

00:24:07.000 Especially with a big old scientist manhand.

00:24:10.000 Yeah, they're like, start sucking or you're not going to get a sample.

00:24:13.000 Yeah, and if it's a lady scientist, you can't let a lady scientist go in there and jerk off a chimp because that's like some sort of prostitution almost, right? 1.00

00:24:20.000 So it would have to be a dude.

00:24:22.000 Either way, the chimp's going to fuck you up if he wants to. 1.00

00:24:24.000 He's going to just beat the shit out of you while you're jerking him off.

00:24:27.000 Yeah, that would just be such a weird beating.

00:24:30.000 If you get that black eye, I was jerking off a chimp and he freaked out. 1.00

00:24:33.000 Yeah, if he feels vulnerable at all, like you're going too hard.

00:24:38.000 Like, I get vulnerable with hand jabs.

00:24:40.000 Yeah, could you imagine if you like hurt a chimp's dick? 1.00

00:24:42.000 I mean, it's not like you guys are communicating in English or anything.

00:24:45.000 Right.

00:24:45.000 You're just jerking him off.

00:24:46.000 And you look at him and you're like, hey, buddy, it's going to be good.

00:24:49.000 You're going to come so hard.

00:24:51.000 And then like, maybe you fucked up. 0.94

00:24:52.000 You're like, maybe he likes it rough.

00:24:53.000 And you give him a couple of hard shakes.

00:24:55.000 Yeah.

00:24:55.000 And he just beats you to a pulp.

00:24:57.000 Yeah, because you keep hitting his balls and you don't realize it.

00:24:59.000 Well, just grabbing his dick in a way that he's not comfortable with anymore.

00:25:02.000 It's like, I don't trust you anymore.

00:25:04.000 Before, your movements were soft and sensual and they seem like controlled.

00:25:09.000 Now you're like, yank it on my dick. 1.00

00:25:10.000 It's like, now you got an agenda about this hand job.

00:25:13.000 And I think to a chimp, like any kind of violent display like that, that's like some sort of dominance display. 1.00

00:25:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:25:19.000 Like when a chimp takes a stick and starts banging it on another stick. 1.00

00:25:22.000 Their balls get big and they just start punching.

00:25:24.000 I don't know if that's how it happens.

00:25:26.000 Do balls get big with violence?

00:25:28.000 That's a good question.

00:25:29.000 That's a real good question.

00:25:30.000 I wonder if there's a correlation between violence and how much sexual intercourse they have.

00:25:36.000 Because like the bonobos have the most sex, but they have the least violence.

00:25:42.000 Right.

00:25:42.000 I wonder if that's just because that's just who they are.

00:25:45.000 They're weird.

00:25:47.000 They don't do a lot of the shit that regular chimps do.

00:25:50.000 No, and the females will just, like, it's a really funny nature channel. 1.00

00:25:54.000 And it's like, here we have a male being angry.

00:25:56.000 And then it's like, and then like five chicks will be like, just start Fucking him. 1.00

00:26:00.000 And then it's like, now he's asleep in the banana leaves.

00:26:03.000 War has been averted for thousands of years.

00:26:06.000 Yeah, they figured it out.

00:26:07.000 Just have a big old fuck party every day.

00:26:09.000 Just drain balls. 0.75

00:26:10.000 And pussies as well. 0.97

00:26:12.000 You just keep everybody calm.

00:26:13.000 Everybody fucks everybody.

00:26:14.000 Everyone's fucking.

00:26:15.000 Yeah, because then you think it might be your kid, too.

00:26:17.000 So you have to protect all the kids.

00:26:19.000 They have rules.

00:26:20.000 The only rule is a mother will not have sex with a son. 1.00

00:26:24.000 That's a solid rule.

00:26:25.000 It's the only one, though.

00:26:26.000 Guys fuck their daughters. 1.00

00:26:28.000 It's weird.

00:26:29.000 It's weird.

00:26:30.000 The whole thing is they have a strange system in that regard.

00:26:35.000 Like this is the one taboo that this incredibly promiscuous culture, or I guess you can call them a culture.

00:26:42.000 Yeah.

00:26:42.000 Species has.

00:26:44.000 They're fascinating, man, because they're so much like regular chimps, but they're not violent at all, hardly.

00:26:48.000 They like make some noise and shit, but they don't do much.

00:26:51.000 Yeah, it almost like perfectly splits our psyches as humans.

00:26:54.000 Dude.

00:26:55.000 Whoa.

00:26:56.000 Like we all have chimpan bonobo in us.

00:26:58.000 Well, just knowing that that's possible, too.

00:27:01.000 Yeah.

00:27:01.000 Like that what we are is just sort of like, you know, even like what we are as a culture, it's just sort of kind of like worked into this spot, and that's what it is.

00:27:12.000 You know, like what we are, it didn't have to work out this way.

00:27:15.000 You know, it could have worked out some other really weird way.

00:27:18.000 Like all the other life forms that you see around.

00:27:21.000 I mean, we could be dolphins.

00:27:22.000 They think dolphins are as smart as us.

00:27:24.000 They think it's entirely possible that without the context of our culture, like our ability to display intelligence through tests and math and building things, engineering, without any ability to display that, we don't really know how smart they actually are.

00:27:39.000 We just assume that the social intelligence they have is not as valuable as the intelligence that's involved in creating things.

00:27:46.000 But they have a cerebral cortex that's 40% larger than a person's.

00:27:51.000 That's intense.

00:27:52.000 Yeah, it's intense.

00:27:53.000 Yeah, because all our tests are based on what we value.

00:27:56.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:27:57.000 What we appreciate.

00:27:57.000 Exactly.

00:27:58.000 I mean, I'm sure there's some other tests that they do, and they know there's some really complex language that they have that they can't decipher.

00:28:06.000 They still haven't figured out what the fuck they're saying.

00:28:09.000 They know that there's dialects.

00:28:11.000 They know there's dialects.

00:28:12.000 And they know that dolphins can understand a lot of the things that we tell them.

00:28:15.000 But they don't exactly know what the fuck they're saying, that's for sure.

00:28:19.000 They've never broken it down like that.

00:28:20.000 Remember in close encounters?

00:28:22.000 Yeah.

00:28:24.000 They broke it down.

00:28:24.000 They're like, oh, there's a whole language here.

00:28:26.000 Oh, see, you know, they tried to figure out what the language was.

00:28:29.000 They've been studying dolphin language forever, and they're like, who knows what the fuck they're saying?

00:28:33.000 Dude, dolphins blow my mind.

00:28:35.000 Dude, they're smart.

00:28:37.000 But they also do some fucked up shit, too.

00:28:39.000 Yeah.

00:28:39.000 They do.

00:28:40.000 A lot of infantricide.

00:28:41.000 Sex slaves. 1.00

00:28:43.000 Yeah, they kill babies. 1.00

00:28:45.000 It's a real common thing, like it is in all of nature.

00:28:48.000 Unfortunately, males kill the babies of, you know, if it's not his kids.

00:28:55.000 Yeah.

00:28:55.000 You find a woman, you kill her babies.

00:28:57.000 It's really crazy that that's the code of nature.

00:29:01.000 Somehow or another, like that was the way to do it.

00:29:03.000 Like, whoo.

00:29:04.000 Like, somehow or another, of all the years of these things trying to improve to get to the position they're at now to be the most sturdy, the most viable, the most complex, the most able to figure out a way to survive.

00:29:19.000 After all that, one of the options for one of the smartest things on the planet is eat babies. 0.79

00:29:24.000 Got to eat the babies of other dudes.

00:29:27.000 Yeah, it's like a race to the bottom of morality for efficiency on that one.

00:29:31.000 Because it's like, you can see how quickly that works.

00:29:34.000 You know, your genes go, theirs don't.

00:29:36.000 But it's like so disturbing.

00:29:38.000 Here's the thing.

00:29:39.000 Do you think that there's a massive, I mean, there's got to be a massive, massive advantage in being able to physically record things that people have learned and to be able to recreate them in the way that only we can?

00:29:54.000 Like as much as we can say that dolphins are intelligent, and I'm sure they are, and their brains might work better than ours.

00:30:00.000 Who the fuck knows?

00:30:01.000 But our brains, we have this weird ability to manipulate things on dry land.

00:30:07.000 And that means we figured out electricity.

00:30:09.000 And that means we figured out electronics.

00:30:11.000 We figured out electronic storage and shit like this.

00:30:14.000 The internet, Twitter, Instagram, the instantaneous access to information about stuff.

00:30:20.000 Like that's just changing everything almost like a life form.

00:30:25.000 It's unreal because we can act out things in the abstract and not actually have to do them and then create something bigger.

00:30:31.000 Yeah, but I'm not sure we're smarter.

00:30:34.000 I think collectively we are.

00:30:36.000 But like as individuals, like the dolphin literally might be like a more potent mind than ours.

00:30:43.000 Yeah.

00:30:44.000 Well, pigeons have incredible abilities that we don't have.

00:30:47.000 Really?

00:30:48.000 Yeah.

00:30:48.000 They can go like 5,000, 6,000 miles to the same spot without a map or either.

00:30:53.000 Oh, right.

00:30:53.000 Like those homing pigeons.

00:30:55.000 Yeah, what are they using?

00:30:56.000 Like magnetic fields?

00:30:57.000 What are they using?

00:30:58.000 I don't even know.

00:31:01.000 I mean, that to me is so intense.

00:31:03.000 You know, Nikola Tesla was in love with a pigeon?

00:31:06.000 Oh, yeah.

00:31:06.000 I heard that on this show, actually.

00:31:08.000 You were talking about that.

00:31:09.000 That's hilarious.

00:31:10.000 That guy was deep.

00:31:12.000 Deep.

00:31:13.000 Yeah, he couldn't make money on any of his own shit, though.

00:31:15.000 All he could do is just love that pigeon.

00:31:17.000 Well, he was just so super, duper off-the-charts smart.

00:31:22.000 Yeah.

00:31:22.000 That I think he had a tremendous difficulty in interacting with regular people.

00:31:27.000 You know, and this guy just wasn't the best businessman in the world.

00:31:31.000 He was just a super genius inventor.

00:31:34.000 But he was crazy, though.

00:31:36.000 Massively, massively, what would it be the word?

00:31:39.000 Eccentric.

00:31:40.000 Yeah, I think there's a level of intelligence where you start almost becoming destructive.

00:31:45.000 You know, it's like that funny bot on South Park.

00:31:48.000 Remember, it was like, the greatest joke in the world is to kill everyone and say, awkward.

00:31:54.000 Where it's like, if you do the math of stakes of jokes and then like the like all the math of it, it could get real dark.

00:32:01.000 Yeah.

00:32:02.000 And that's kind of like some people are so smart.

00:32:04.000 They're like, why wouldn't I love a pigeon?

00:32:05.000 It can go 5,000 miles.

00:32:07.000 And you're like, they don't have that thing that tells them just, that's weird.

00:32:11.000 Yeah, well, he didn't care anymore.

00:32:13.000 I think he loved the pigeon more than he loved people.

00:32:15.000 And it might not have been like a romantic love.

00:32:17.000 It might have been like some spiritual thing.

00:32:19.000 You ever see that?

00:32:20.000 There's one photo of him that's so iconic.

00:32:22.000 It's Nikola Tesla sitting in front of a pair of Tesla coils.

00:32:27.000 And he's got his legs crossed, and he looks like the master of the universe.

00:32:30.000 He literally looks like a character in a Marvel comic book.

00:32:34.000 That guy was a wizard, like a literal wizard.

00:32:34.000 Yeah.

00:32:38.000 You know?

00:32:39.000 I mean, Look at this guy.

00:32:42.000 Look at this motherfucker. 0.95

00:32:44.000 He's sitting there reading shit.

00:32:46.000 He's sitting there with his legs crossed, and this crazy electrical thing is going on behind him.

00:32:54.000 And that's the guy that would fall in love with a pigeon.

00:32:56.000 Because it's like if that, like, what, like in his mind, he's like, yeah, I'll just make all these crazy sparks with my brain and read a book and then just love a pigeon.

00:33:04.000 Can you imagine what it must be like to be a guy as smart as that?

00:33:08.000 Like, clearly, like, a next-level intellect.

00:33:11.000 Like, there's like us as normal folks, and then there's these like super genius, like, you know, like a LeBron James of thinking.

00:33:20.000 Like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck?

00:33:22.000 How's he doing that?

00:33:23.000 And that's what that guy was.

00:33:25.000 Imagine being that guy and just seeing all these things that haven't been figured out yet.

00:33:29.000 Like, how come you guys haven't done this?

00:33:30.000 That must be so frustrating.

00:33:32.000 How about you have electricity just in the air?

00:33:32.000 What about doing this?

00:33:35.000 You wanted to fucking pump it electricity in the air where you would get it for free, like the radio.

00:33:40.000 That must be like being around drunk people all the time.

00:33:42.000 Like being that smart around normal people.

00:33:45.000 It's like being sober at a bar and have everyone be like, dude, I pee on my penis.

00:33:50.000 And you're like, what's wrong with you?

00:33:52.000 And that's probably Tesla with like us.

00:33:54.000 He's like, oh, you can't just make the sparks.

00:33:56.000 That's a very good way of describing it.

00:33:58.000 It's a very good way of describing it.

00:34:00.000 Thanks.

00:34:01.000 That's probably exactly what's going on.

00:34:01.000 Yeah.

00:34:03.000 I've talked to a bunch of like really, really smart people in the time doing this podcast.

00:34:08.000 And then off-podcast, one of my favorite examples is John Carmack.

00:34:13.000 Do you know who he is?

00:34:14.000 He's like this super genius coder who wrote the 3D engine for id software.

00:34:20.000 I guess he'd be like the lead programmer or something for id software.

00:34:24.000 One of the founders.

00:34:25.000 Yeah.

00:34:26.000 Like Quake and Doom and all those 3D games.

00:34:28.000 Like he invented those things.

00:34:29.000 That's unreal.

00:34:30.000 And every time I talk to him, I'm like, Sean, barely your species.

00:34:34.000 Barely the same species.

00:34:35.000 His brain is firing so hard and so fast.

00:34:38.000 You're like, wow, I'm such an ape.

00:34:41.000 You can see that on Twitter with Sam Harris sometimes.

00:34:43.000 Sometimes he'll do a comeback and I'm like, I got to read like nine books to even get that.

00:34:47.000 Sam's stupid smart.

00:34:48.000 It's like crazy smart.

00:34:50.000 Yeah, he's very smart.

00:34:51.000 Very smart.

00:34:52.000 There's a lot of people like that, man.

00:34:53.000 And they'll give you a real reality check if you think you're smart.

00:34:58.000 You think you're an exceptional mind.

00:35:01.000 My wife has her master's in structural engineering, and a lot of my buddies are super conspiracy.

00:35:06.000 Did you see a 9-11 truther?

00:35:08.000 No.

00:35:08.000 That's what happened.

00:35:10.000 One of my buddies is like, dude, they proved that a building can't fall that way.

00:35:10.000 That's literally what happened.

00:35:15.000 And my wife just calmly just goes, but I'm they.

00:35:19.000 Oh, shit.

00:35:20.000 She's like, I know how the structure of buildings works.

00:35:23.000 And she wasn't saying it maliciously.

00:35:25.000 She was like trying to be like, no, but I'm they.

00:35:27.000 Right.

00:35:28.000 Silly.

00:35:28.000 And there's still, you know, it could still be a thing.

00:35:31.000 I'm not saying it isn't true.

00:35:32.000 I'm just saying that like she was saying it is possible for a building to fall directly on top of itself is all she was saying.

00:35:38.000 Well, you know, that whole Tower 7 thing is so fascinating because that's the one thing where everybody points to when it comes to 9-11.

00:35:47.000 Now, what a lot of people don't know is that there's a longer video.

00:35:52.000 When you watch the thing collapse, it absolutely looks like a controlled demolition.

00:35:56.000 And the problem with that is, if you're not an actual engineer and you don't really know how they built that building, it was unusual.

00:36:04.000 If you don't really know enough about it, there's a lot of things that I kind of know about, but I don't really.

00:36:11.000 Like if I had to explain a double clutch transmission in like a BMW, I think I could half-ass it, but if there was someone right next to me that knew, that really knew about it, they would go, what the fuck are you talking about?

00:36:26.000 You know?

00:36:27.000 Yeah.

00:36:28.000 Like the half-truth confidence can be hilarious.

00:36:30.000 Oh, yeah.

00:36:31.000 We got to be real careful with that shit.

00:36:32.000 It's like, listen, I've read BuzzFeed.

00:36:34.000 Yeah.

00:36:35.000 You know, like, you have this, like, this knowledge balls without, because that's what's getting a little infuriating with me now is a lot of the things being debated I actually know a ton about.

00:36:45.000 And like, like I was a World War II history major, like who lived in the Czech Republic studying authoritarian governments and stuff.

00:36:52.000 And like, so like, I mean, I'm not like an expert expert.

00:36:55.000 Like you, sometimes you have people on the show.

00:36:57.000 But he's actually read books about tons.

00:36:59.000 Yeah.

00:36:59.000 We're about, so when they just get the most basic things about the everyone's a Nazi, this is Nazi.

00:37:05.000 And then you, because then you can't point out the actual Nazis and, you know, and just how it, and everyone thinks that it's left wing, right-wing, but it's really not.

00:37:14.000 Like, like right-wing dystopia would be like Mad Max.

00:37:17.000 Like there's no government at all.

00:37:19.000 And left is communist or, you know, socialist fascism.

00:37:23.000 It's just like the government is everything.

00:37:26.000 Yeah.

00:37:26.000 You know what, man?

00:37:32.000 The need for everything to be conspiracy is a real problem.

00:37:35.000 It's a real problem for a lot of people.

00:37:36.000 The need to know that they're right about things is a real problem.

00:37:40.000 You know, the not admitting that you don't really know part is a problem because until I'm absolutely certain that what you're saying, like I have to know when I'm talking to you, if you say I'm absolutely 100% positive that if I light this paper on fire, it'll burn.

00:38:00.000 100%.

00:38:01.000 If this is regular paper and I have a regular fire, I'm 100% positive.

00:38:07.000 I have to hear you say, I have to know that that's how you really are operating.

00:38:12.000 So if you're telling me it's 100% that Kennedy's driver shot him, dude, it's 100%.

00:38:18.000 You watch the video, it's 100% Kennedy's driver shot him or any kind of crazy conspiracy like that.

00:38:23.000 As soon as you say you know for sure, it's like, God damn, man.

00:38:27.000 You know for sure that it wasn't a plane that hit the Pentagon.

00:38:30.000 You know for sure?

00:38:31.000 How do you know for sure?

00:38:32.000 Right.

00:38:32.000 I agree with you completely.

00:38:33.000 You can know for sure.

00:38:36.000 And if everyone agrees, like I always get freaked out when like everybody agrees on everything.

00:38:40.000 I feel like I'm in a cult.

00:38:41.000 Yeah, it gets super culty.

00:38:43.000 Yeah.

00:38:44.000 On both sides, as being a skeptical person, like there's a lot of people that are skeptics that they'll look at things even like Operation Northwoods and they'll be like, well, that's just no big deal.

00:38:53.000 Like they were planning on killing Americans.

00:38:56.000 They were going to arm Cuban friendlies and have them attack Guantanamo Bay. 0.94

00:39:00.000 They were trying to get us to go to war with Cuba and they were going to manipulate us. 0.64

00:39:03.000 They were going to blow up a drone jetliner and blame it on Cuba so we'd be outraged.

00:39:08.000 We want to go over and kick Cuba's ass. 1.00

00:39:10.000 It would cost, who knows, countless thousands of American lives for sure.

00:39:15.000 Because you're talking about 1961 or two or whatever it was when Kennedy vetoed this shit.

00:39:21.000 It was signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

00:39:23.000 They were really going to do this.

00:39:24.000 Like, anybody who doesn't look at that and get disturbed, this is from the Freedom of Information Act.

00:39:28.000 That's not a conspiracy.

00:39:30.000 The problem with the really wacky conspiracies, like, you know, Kennedy's driver shot him or, you know, the go as deep as you want.

00:39:37.000 Yeah.

00:39:38.000 The really wacky ones distract from the real ones.

00:39:41.000 They mask it.

00:39:42.000 It makes it so nothing means anything.

00:39:44.000 Alex Jones was saying something fucking crazy today.

00:39:47.000 Like there was Jewish actors pretending to be Nazis in Charlottesville.

00:39:52.000 Like, these guys had tattoos of swastikas on their chest.

00:39:56.000 That's not a fucking...

00:40:00.000 Right, exactly.

00:40:01.000 It's not a fucking actor.

00:40:02.000 Once you tattoo a swastika on your chest, you're not acting anymore.

00:40:06.000 You've committed to a team.

00:40:08.000 Jesus Christ.

00:40:09.000 That's like one of the biggest steps I can possibly think of as a human being.

00:40:13.000 It's to go to a tattoo parlor and be like, give me the fucking craziest one.

00:40:17.000 I saw this gay flag Nazi thing. 0.78

00:40:21.000 One of the reasons why you try to take the swastika back.

00:40:24.000 That's like from a bit that I had in like 2014 about camo.

00:40:28.000 I was talking about those Duck Dynasty guys where they kept talking shit about gay people.

00:40:32.000 I'm like, dude, they're going to take over Camo.

00:40:34.000 They'll fuck with you.

00:40:35.000 And they'll just, every gay porno from now on takes place in camo. 0.56

00:40:41.000 It's like trucker hats.

00:40:43.000 Like it went from like truckers being like, we're fucking great.

00:40:45.000 And then a minute later they're like, I'm not Justin Bieber.

00:40:49.000 I just like Miller Light.

00:40:50.000 Yeah, the idea was that every porno film ever made would be made in a duck blind. 0.81

00:40:54.000 Every gay porno. 0.98

00:40:55.000 Bro, that's fucking genius.

00:40:57.000 And they would all start out with this one of, man, the gayest black guy you could ever find going, something about duck hunting make me horny. 0.98

00:41:09.000 That's fucking genius.

00:41:10.000 A white dude comes in on chains and drops to his knees, starts sucking his deck. 0.95

00:41:15.000 And they're all in camo.

00:41:16.000 Oh, because that, because then they can't just do it without having to apologize to people and be like, dude, we're not into all that shit.

00:41:22.000 My point was that it started like they took over the rainbow.

00:41:25.000 They could take over that too.

00:41:26.000 They could take over camo.

00:41:27.000 They could take over everything.

00:41:28.000 They took over all visual light.

00:41:31.000 Yeah, light sticks.

00:41:32.000 Like red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo.

00:41:34.000 It's like, you know, most people just have, it's like, oh, we're the environmentalists.

00:41:38.000 Like, oh, you get green.

00:41:39.000 Right.

00:41:39.000 It's like, we're, you know, they're like, it's like, we want all the fucking colors.

00:41:44.000 They get like a southern accent immediately.

00:41:46.000 What do you think the gay rainbow thing has done to the leprechaun industry? 1.00

00:41:50.000 Probably crippled it.

00:41:52.000 Yeah, they think they got gold.

00:41:52.000 Crippled it.

00:41:54.000 They found a gay bar in the middle of Ireland.

00:41:56.000 They're like, for thousands of years, it was all about us.

00:42:00.000 It was all about finding the paracode at the end of the rainbow.

00:42:03.000 Now it's about sucking dick and put fucking. 0.96

00:42:06.000 What happened?

00:42:08.000 What the fuck did they do?

00:42:10.000 They culturally appropriated it from the leprechauns.

00:42:13.000 They culturally appropriated it from the leprechauns and fucking owned it. 0.98

00:42:17.000 Owned it like Q-Tip owns cotton swabs. 0.98

00:42:20.000 Owned.

00:42:21.000 Owned it in a period of like, what, 10, 20 years?

00:42:25.000 All colors.

00:42:26.000 They owned the rainbow, the whole rainbow.

00:42:29.000 Like, if you think about when, when the fuck was the rainbow first discovered?

00:42:34.000 Long time ago.

00:42:36.000 Long time ago.

00:42:37.000 When was the first leprechaun story, the pot of gold?

00:42:40.000 That's probably hundreds of years of leprechauns being associated with rainbows, right?

00:42:45.000 And now it's just dudes sucking dudes. 0.89

00:42:48.000 Just one day, it just became it.

00:42:49.000 It just turned, and that's a hard turn, too, from like, oh, it's sunny and rainy at the same time.

00:42:55.000 Oh, now it's gay. 0.99

00:42:58.000 And it's just also taking all the colors.

00:43:00.000 I just find like, you know, gun control is the orange color, and it's just like, they get all of them.

00:43:04.000 You know what's interesting?

00:43:06.000 It's when you think about like men and women, like in a straight culture, like straight men and straight women.

00:43:14.000 I wonder if there's more violence with straight men and straight women than there are with gay men, like gay communities. 0.99

00:43:21.000 I wonder if it's like per capita if the gay communities have less violence. 0.99

00:43:25.000 That would be really fascinating to me.

00:43:27.000 If there's more males together and less violence versus males and females together.

00:43:34.000 I feel like there's two effects happening simultaneously.

00:43:37.000 Like it could make it go down or up because it's like you're always draining balls because gay dudes, gay dudes are constantly. 0.99

00:43:43.000 There's no one around to say no.

00:43:44.000 Right.

00:43:45.000 They go to the gym, bow job, car ride, head.

00:43:49.000 But then the flip side is you're doubling the amount of testosterone and crazy.

00:43:52.000 And like, if you get in a fight with your, you know, partner and there's nothing saying like, but you can't hit women.

00:44:01.000 You can beat the fuck out of each other.

00:44:02.000 It's real bad.

00:44:03.000 Totally.

00:44:03.000 Two dudes in a backyard brawl after they butt fucked.

00:44:07.000 And then they start butt fucking during the fight. 0.98

00:44:09.000 They just get hot.

00:44:10.000 Yeah.

00:44:11.000 Oh, you bitch. 1.00

00:44:13.000 I can't believe you gave me a black eye, you bitch. 1.00

00:44:14.000 Dude, I bet lesbians don't fight much. 1.00

00:44:17.000 Hmm.

00:44:18.000 That's a good.

00:44:18.000 That seems like a sexist thing to say, Owen Benjamin.

00:44:21.000 Yeah.

00:44:22.000 I can't wait to just call you out.

00:44:24.000 I love being called out.

00:44:24.000 I love it.

00:44:25.000 Because then it's like so quick that.

00:44:27.000 It's so sexist.

00:44:28.000 And then you have like a good point and you're clearly not hateful.

00:44:31.000 And then they're just like, so like, what do we do now?

00:44:35.000 It's like they can't stay mad when you're like, no, you double men and then you're going to get dudes who love working out and like, you know, real estate.

00:44:43.000 I wonder if that's the case, though.

00:44:45.000 I wonder.

00:44:46.000 Because I just guessed about the statistics.

00:44:49.000 What do you think they would be?

00:44:50.000 Let's look them up.

00:44:51.000 But before we do that, what do you think they would be?

00:44:53.000 Do you think there'd be less violence in the gay community? 1.00

00:44:55.000 I think there would.

00:44:56.000 That's my guess.

00:44:57.000 As far as domestic violence, like partnerships.

00:44:59.000 Violence in general.

00:45:00.000 Violence committed.

00:45:02.000 Dude, I'm going to say less violence.

00:45:06.000 I'm going to say less violence.

00:45:07.000 Less violence.

00:45:10.000 I'm trying to find it.

00:45:10.000 Jamie, what have we got?

00:45:12.000 All I found so far is most of it was about hate crime.

00:45:12.000 I'm trying to find it.

00:45:15.000 So digging through.

00:45:16.000 Okay, that's the problem because they get victimized by people outside of their community.

00:45:21.000 I found one that says there's a study that suggests that same-sex relationships suffer higher levels of domestic violence than heterosexual ones.

00:45:28.000 Interesting.

00:45:29.000 That's just like a study.

00:45:31.000 Was it by like Christian Workshop?

00:45:33.000 No, it's on the BBC reporting it, but I couldn't.

00:45:36.000 Oh, is violence more common in same-sex relationships?

00:45:40.000 Yeah, well, you know what?

00:45:42.000 It doesn't say how much.

00:45:42.000 I don't know.

00:45:43.000 That's domestic violence. 1.00

00:45:45.000 I feel like they have more in common, like less arguing, right?

00:45:49.000 maybe not, though.

00:45:50.000 Domestic violence is a weird word, right?

00:45:53.000 It's like it's extra creepy violence because it's violence against someone you care about.

00:45:58.000 You're near them and you lose your temper to the point where you're enacting violence on someone, at least at one point in your life, you probably loved.

00:46:06.000 Right now, you want to get violent with them, like physically violent.

00:46:09.000 So dangerous.

00:46:10.000 Imagine being a cop walking into that shit.

00:46:13.000 I can't imagine.

00:46:15.000 Especially when you can't arrest a guy and you're like, this chick's going to die eventually. 1.00

00:46:19.000 Fuck.

00:46:20.000 That's some heavy, heavy shit.

00:46:22.000 Fuck.

00:46:23.000 That's another reason why I think it's such worse violence because you always, in my head, I'm like, it's a dude beating a woman.

00:46:29.000 Yeah.

00:46:30.000 Yeah.

00:46:30.000 Even though the other way does happen, but you just don't really, I don't know.

00:46:35.000 I don't know, man.

00:46:36.000 It's all fucked up.

00:46:37.000 It's like just the fact that people can fall apart so bad that they get to the point where at one point in time they love this person.

00:46:46.000 Like this person's probably like super important to them.

00:46:48.000 Yeah.

00:46:49.000 And now you want to kill them.

00:46:51.000 You want to stab them.

00:46:52.000 You want to beat them up.

00:46:53.000 You want to hit them in the head with something like, woof, woof.

00:46:57.000 You're off the tracks.

00:46:58.000 Yeah, because kind comes from the word kin.

00:47:00.000 Like you're supposed to love your kin, you know?

00:47:01.000 Is that where it comes from?

00:47:02.000 Kind, yeah, kin, yeah.

00:47:07.000 That makes sense.

00:47:08.000 Yeah.

00:47:09.000 You treat kinfolk?

00:47:10.000 Kinfolk, yeah.

00:47:11.000 Where the fuck did kind bud come from?

00:47:13.000 Kind bud?

00:47:14.000 Yeah, that was always like the weird hippie thing.

00:47:16.000 Like, that was one of the surefire ways when you didn't want to get high with somebody.

00:47:20.000 If they offered you some kind bud.

00:47:22.000 See me.

00:47:23.000 Yeah, and they were happy sad.

00:47:24.000 Listen, bro, we're going to have a conversation about astrology that I really can't have right now.

00:47:30.000 Yeah, like it is a red flag to win an astrology combo.

00:47:33.000 I'm fucking tired, and I don't want your nonsense.

00:47:37.000 I don't want to hear about your channeler.

00:47:39.000 I don't want to hear about your spiritual advisor.

00:47:42.000 No, no, no.

00:47:45.000 Yeah, kind is nonsense talk.

00:47:47.000 Door opener.

00:47:48.000 Kind bud?

00:47:49.000 Kind bud.

00:47:50.000 That's so funny.

00:47:52.000 It's kind bud, man.

00:47:54.000 We had good weed and not good weed.

00:47:56.000 It's pretty good.

00:47:56.000 Like, it's okay.

00:47:57.000 It's mid-grade.

00:47:58.000 Mid-grade, if you were like a connoisseur, you would say these are mids.

00:48:01.000 Mids?

00:48:02.000 Mids.

00:48:03.000 Yeah, we just had weed.

00:48:04.000 Yeah, and you just, like, from like 1997 on, it's just been space weed.

00:48:11.000 It's not even the same.

00:48:12.000 It's not even the same thing, man.

00:48:13.000 And everybody denies that.

00:48:15.000 It's crazy.

00:48:16.000 From the moment I started smoking weed, it's been space weed.

00:48:20.000 Yeah, like the star death experience I had with Joey Diaz.

00:48:23.000 I was sorry about that.

00:48:24.000 That felt like mushrooms.

00:48:26.000 It felt closer to mushrooms than it did weed in my mind.

00:48:29.000 I explained it on the Poly Shore podcast.

00:48:30.000 I explained too much, but I'll explain it one more time.

00:48:33.000 When you eat marijuana, it's processed by your liver and it produces something called 11-hydroxymetabolite.

00:48:38.000 And it's way more, like four to five times more psychoactive than THC.

00:48:43.000 And it's a totally different feel.

00:48:45.000 Like it feels like a psychedelic drug.

00:48:47.000 Like a really potent one, too.

00:48:49.000 Like, especially if you go super deep, it gets really weird, especially when you lie down with your eyes closed.

00:48:55.000 If you get like that and you're really freaking out, one thing that can kind of bring you out of it, if you can enjoy this, is go somewhere dark and close your eyes.

00:49:03.000 And like if you're really freaking out on weed, I bet there is a light show for you to watch.

00:49:10.000 Like it'll be like, for me, one of the things that I remember, like consistently, I would see neon cartoons having sex.

00:49:18.000 Like neon looking old school, goofy, old school Mickey Mouse cartoons with them moving weird, but they were made out of neon.

00:49:26.000 And they were having sex with each other and creating more.

00:49:28.000 And they were like branching off like some sort of a fractal.

00:49:32.000 It was fucking crazy.

00:49:34.000 Dude, neon sex fractal has to be the name of your next.

00:49:38.000 It was like I was seeing it all in front of me in 3D too, like I was on some Disney ride.

00:49:42.000 It was happening all around me.

00:49:44.000 I was like, this is crazy that this is just weed.

00:49:46.000 And it's crazy when you make the jump where you realize someone's showing you something versus you imagining something.

00:49:51.000 Oh, yeah.

00:49:52.000 Where you're like, oh, I'm just watching something else versus like, picture a helicopter.

00:49:57.000 There it is.

00:49:58.000 But it's just like, holy shit, this is something I've never seen before and I don't know who's showing it to me.

00:50:03.000 Yeah, there's something going on.

00:50:05.000 And to deny it is really interesting because I think it's another one of those things, much like where people want to talk about, I know for a fact something was a conspiracy.

00:50:14.000 They also want to say, I know for a fact that this is a hallucination and that's all it is.

00:50:21.000 I know for a fact that this is just chemicals interacting with your mind.

00:50:25.000 But your whole life is chemicals.

00:50:28.000 You mean your mind is like constantly processing different chemicals, whether it's adrenaline or whatever it is, different emotions.

00:50:34.000 There's a lot of different things going on chemically in your body all the time.

00:50:38.000 And then there's the big one, which is when your eyes shut and you go to sleep and then you imagine a bunch of shit happening that's not really happening.

00:50:47.000 Yeah, like whole civilizations have been built on like the reverence for what you're talking about.

00:50:50.000 So it's not like there's definitely something going on.

00:50:54.000 There easily could be something going on.

00:50:55.000 There could be different frequencies that our normal biology is tuned into a very specific frequency.

00:51:02.000 And when something's off, it could be that they're not picking it up.

00:51:06.000 Like maybe that's one of the things about schizophrenics, right?

00:51:08.000 They have these issues with their brain chemistry.

00:51:10.000 Maybe they're tuning into a totally different world than us.

00:51:13.000 Maybe their world is like the fucking dark city.

00:51:15.000 Remember that movie with Kiefer Southern?

00:51:16.000 Yeah, he's upside down.

00:51:18.000 Yeah, everything is fucking, everybody's got like four foot long fingers and they're fucking creeping around corners.

00:51:23.000 Maybe in their world, everything's like completely fucked because they're tuned in with their own brain chemistry.

00:51:29.000 Literally, they're interacting with the universe around them in such a different way that their world is dark and scary and ugly and twisted.

00:51:38.000 Yeah.

00:51:38.000 It's like a filter.

00:51:39.000 Like when I learned about dark matter, I lost all hubris that I know anything.

00:51:44.000 Like that 70% of the universe is this thing that we can't see or feel or measure anywhere and we have no idea what it is.

00:51:52.000 I was like, yeah, I don't fucking know about Tower 7, man.

00:51:56.000 It's like, I'm out on that.

00:51:58.000 It's a good way to describe it.

00:51:59.000 There was Something really recently about dark matter where they were saying that they think that dark matter is stored inside black holes.

00:52:07.000 See if we can find that.

00:52:08.000 So, what the fuck's a black hole?

00:52:10.000 Do you even get that?

00:52:12.000 That one's a mind-bender.

00:52:14.000 Like, what?

00:52:14.000 What's happening out there?

00:52:16.000 There's some infinitely dense point, and everything is getting sucked into it, and it's eating it.

00:52:22.000 What?

00:52:22.000 It's eating planets?

00:52:24.000 Yeah.

00:52:24.000 What the fuck did you just say?

00:52:26.000 And it's instant, but to the thing, it's eternity.

00:52:29.000 Yeah, wait a minute.

00:52:30.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:52:31.000 So there's something out there that's eating planets.

00:52:36.000 Is dark matter less lumpy than predicted?

00:52:38.000 What does that mean?

00:52:39.000 I don't know what that means.

00:52:40.000 That sounds racial.

00:52:42.000 It could be racial or at least gender specific.

00:52:45.000 That's not gender specific.

00:52:47.000 If dark matter was a person, what pronoun would it use?

00:52:52.000 Ah, man.

00:52:53.000 That's an intense one.

00:52:54.000 Zir. 0.98

00:52:55.000 Zer. 1.00

00:52:56.000 Zur.

00:52:57.000 But you can say Zir too.

00:52:58.000 You can say whatever you want.

00:52:59.000 It's just made up.

00:53:00.000 I mean, there's going to be a rule around how to say it.

00:53:05.000 But see, yeah, it's like when it comes to gender stuff, see, that's when I stop.

00:53:09.000 That's when I have a little bit of an opinion where I'm like, there are men and there are women.

00:53:12.000 Yeah, but there's also a spectrum, right?

00:53:14.000 I mean, there's women that want to fight in MMA and they want to race cars. 1.00

00:53:18.000 And then there's men who want to be florists.

00:53:22.000 But I feel like that's gender role spectrum.

00:53:22.000 Yeah.

00:53:24.000 Like, my dad is like a really flamboyant opera singing.

00:53:28.000 Like, he's real fruity, you know?

00:53:30.000 And my mom is like six foot, loves sports, sweatpants, you know, crushes. 1.00

00:53:36.000 And it's like, but my mom is such a great woman and my dad's such a great dad.

00:53:40.000 And that's why sometimes, you know, my piano teacher got a sex change when I was 11.

00:53:43.000 So like, whoa, I've been thinking about this stuff for quite some time where I got to see the same person on different hormones as my, you know, and I'm a classical piano player.

00:53:53.000 Like, this is one of the most important people in my life that I'm still friends with.

00:53:55.000 And it's like, to see like it, you know, transition, you're like, oh, dudes are way different.

00:54:02.000 Just the way the behavior changed?

00:54:04.000 Oh, yeah, totally.

00:54:06.000 When it comes to like, you know, just, just, like what you're focusing on, your level of patience.

00:54:13.000 Well, he transitioned to a she? 1.00

00:54:14.000 She, yeah.

00:54:15.000 And on Halloween.

00:54:18.000 And I was like trying to work on a bit.

00:54:19.000 On Halloween?

00:54:20.000 Well, I was trying to work on a bit about that's like the best time to like make that hard turn because people think it's a costume.

00:54:26.000 And then by Thanksgiving, everyone's like, oh, this is real.

00:54:30.000 Oh, no.

00:54:31.000 Oh, yeah.

00:54:32.000 Like, if someone like Steve-O did it, right?

00:54:34.000 You'd be like, look, this is, I know what you're doing.

00:54:37.000 You're not getting me with this.

00:54:38.000 Yeah.

00:54:39.000 This is a scam.

00:54:40.000 It would take forever.

00:54:41.000 He would not be accepted.

00:54:42.000 It would take like months before people knew it wasn't just a gag.

00:54:45.000 They're like, yeah, it's a five-year gag.

00:54:47.000 Like Tom Green.

00:54:48.000 That seems like something Tom Green could, you know, like almost get away with.

00:54:52.000 People are like, no, goddammit.

00:54:53.000 Have you ever seen a Tom Green show?

00:54:55.000 It's what he does.

00:54:56.000 Yeah, it's like fucking with us.

00:54:57.000 I'm boys with the Impractical Jokers, and I'm always wondering, like, if one of them really needs help in public, is everyone going to be like, it's Sal.

00:55:06.000 That's a good point.

00:55:07.000 You know, because people will assume you're doing a joke, and you're like, no, but I'm not joking.

00:55:12.000 That's a real good point.

00:55:13.000 Because if you're choking on something, holy shit, dude.

00:55:17.000 That's a fucking good point.

00:55:20.000 Wow.

00:55:21.000 That's like a movie, man.

00:55:23.000 It's a plot for a movie, dude.

00:55:25.000 No way, bro.

00:55:26.000 So this could be like a big film, man.

00:55:30.000 I'm feeling it.

00:55:31.000 Bro, I think it's going to change the world.

00:55:32.000 Practical Joker goes out and has a life-threatening illness.

00:55:37.000 And then doesn't get rescued.

00:55:37.000 Yeah.

00:55:40.000 And because of that, realizes that practical jokes are wrong.

00:55:43.000 That's the moral of the story.

00:55:44.000 Yeah.

00:55:45.000 What else is there?

00:55:47.000 Passion culture.

00:55:48.000 You got to have the cool black friend.

00:55:50.000 Practical Joker has the cool black friend. 0.94

00:55:50.000 Of course. 0.94

00:55:52.000 Yeah.

00:55:53.000 Who keeps it real, but is relatable.

00:55:54.000 Should you have a gay neighbor or no? 1.00

00:55:57.000 I think everyone has to be gay. 1.00

00:55:58.000 Something has to happen, right?

00:56:01.000 No, they all have a gay dick once. 1.00

00:56:04.000 Like every year, like, remember we were talking about you get the new dick.

00:56:07.000 You get a new one.

00:56:07.000 Every now and then, every eight dicks is gay.

00:56:10.000 Ooh.

00:56:12.000 So you know about the community.

00:56:13.000 Oh, like every eight ones.

00:56:14.000 You count them off.

00:56:15.000 Like a very specific number.

00:56:17.000 Yeah.

00:56:18.000 Imagine if people like did do that and then you came back gay this year. 1.00

00:56:23.000 Damn, this year I came back gay, bro.

00:56:24.000 It's my first time.

00:56:26.000 You've been straight all 30 years?

00:56:27.000 Yeah, man.

00:56:28.000 All 30 years.

00:56:29.000 That's a good run.

00:56:29.000 That's crazy.

00:56:30.000 It's a good run.

00:56:31.000 I'm looking forward to getting ripped.

00:56:32.000 I'm just hoping it's a seasonal thing.

00:56:34.000 You know, my uncle was gay for a year.

00:56:36.000 He had three gay dicks in a row. 1.00

00:56:37.000 He lost his wife, bro. 0.51

00:56:38.000 It's not funny, man.

00:56:40.000 Like, yeah, I'm my first gay dick.

00:56:43.000 Where would that be?

00:56:46.000 We would have a whole different attitude.

00:56:47.000 God damn.

00:56:49.000 All these bigots that have a problem with gay people, that wouldn't exist.

00:56:54.000 It's like, yeah, Dale has to go away for a year.

00:56:56.000 He's got roller skates on.

00:56:58.000 He'll come back and be hateful again.

00:57:00.000 You know, there'd be kids in school.

00:57:01.000 Bro, let me tell you something.

00:57:02.000 No one in my family's ever got a gay dick.

00:57:05.000 I'm not getting a gay dick, bro. 1.00

00:57:07.000 It's like the guy who's losing a little bit of hair when he's in high school.

00:57:10.000 Listen to me, bro.

00:57:11.000 My fucking hair is fine.

00:57:12.000 No one in my family's ever lost their hair.

00:57:12.000 Yeah.

00:57:15.000 Overcompensate, guy.

00:57:17.000 There's no gay dicks in my bloodline, dude. 1.00

00:57:19.000 It's all straight guys.

00:57:21.000 Listen, no one in my family is a serial killer, okay?

00:57:24.000 Like then you start revealing shit about yourself.

00:57:26.000 Like whatever you're insecure about, you like secretly are.

00:57:29.000 Ooh.

00:57:31.000 Hmm.

00:57:32.000 Damn, that's deep.

00:57:33.000 Well, sometimes I'll find myself hating on a group of people, and I'm like, something about me is that, or else I wouldn't care.

00:57:41.000 You know, like hipsters, I remember I always hated them. 1.00

00:57:44.000 I called them indoor cats.

00:57:47.000 And then I realized that hating hipster itself is a hipster move.

00:57:51.000 Oh, totally.

00:57:51.000 Where I'm like, no, dude, I was like that before hipsters.

00:57:54.000 And I'm like, holy fuck, a hipster would say that.

00:57:56.000 I could have easily been a hipster if they caught me.

00:57:59.000 I could have been a Scientology if I didn't know better.

00:58:01.000 You know, I mean, I just would have walked into the wrong door, took one of them personality tests and going, man, maybe I could get my shit together with these people.

00:58:01.000 Yeah.

00:58:08.000 Yeah, maybe I could be on one of these crazy, wacky levels.

00:58:11.000 It's the same thing.

00:58:12.000 I could be a hipster.

00:58:13.000 I could have a weird mustache, a twisty mustache.

00:58:15.000 Yeah, it's like what Jordan Peterson talks about with the shadow self.

00:58:18.000 I could be like really into like micro beers.

00:58:21.000 Yeah, I could live out my life in 1820 in Austin, Texas.

00:58:27.000 I could wear really tight jeans and tell everyone I'm a photographer because I have an Instagram account of 300 followers.

00:58:32.000 Yeah, and they all have those shoes. 0.95

00:58:34.000 Do you know those uncomfortable looking, like Italian-looking shoes?

00:58:40.000 Yeah, like the shit Daniel Dave Lewis makes.

00:58:44.000 It's like they go to like a cobbler.

00:58:46.000 Yeah, they get their shoes for you by a cobbler.

00:58:48.000 Yeah, hipster cobbler.

00:58:50.000 But there's something kind of cool about it, too.

00:58:52.000 I know.

00:58:52.000 Like those shoes right there.

00:58:53.000 Those are total hipster shoes.

00:58:54.000 Jamie, you nailed it.

00:58:56.000 You goddamn nailed it.

00:58:57.000 That's the perfect shoe for a hipster. 0.99

00:58:59.000 Yeah, I think a low-cut one would be like a little bit more hipster-y, maybe.

00:59:03.000 Maybe I'm wrong.

00:59:04.000 Oh, that's a hipster shoe if I've ever seen one.

00:59:07.000 Good lord.

00:59:08.000 Dude, I'm two hard turns in my life away from wearing those shoes right now.

00:59:11.000 That's really called the hipster.

00:59:12.000 It's a John Varvatos star USA hipster.

00:59:18.000 Chuck a boot.

00:59:19.000 It's a Chucka boot.

00:59:20.000 I didn't even know that that was a thing until now.

00:59:23.000 Chucka boots.

00:59:23.000 What's a Chucka boot?

00:59:24.000 Isn't it weird when you see two Ks next to each other?

00:59:26.000 It makes you think it's racist.

00:59:28.000 Totally, it is now.

00:59:30.000 You can't do that anymore.

00:59:31.000 They should change this immediately.

00:59:32.000 I'm triggered.

00:59:33.000 I'm so triggered.

00:59:34.000 Everybody should be.

00:59:35.000 Like, we got real problems in this country.

00:59:37.000 It's not a joke anymore.

00:59:39.000 Like that Charlottesville thing, that just showed everybody.

00:59:39.000 Yeah.

00:59:42.000 When you saw those guys walking down the street with those Citronella Home Depot torches, I was like, this is the craziest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life.

00:59:51.000 Screaming White Lives Matter. 0.99

00:59:53.000 Crazy.

00:59:54.000 Like, you know who said it best, man?

00:59:56.000 I have a great quote.

00:59:59.000 Sturgil Simpson sent me this because he had an email exchange with Dr. Rick Strassman, who's the guy that wrote DMT, the spirit molecule.

01:00:11.000 And they had an email exchange.

01:00:13.000 He said, for starters, I would say, this is Rick Strassman saying this, that what we're seeing is a failure of the educational system.

01:00:21.000 This is due to faults within the system itself, as well as attacks on the system, that system from outside by forces and institutions that gain to benefit from ignorance and addiction.

01:00:33.000 Both religious faith and the love of community have degenerated into crude parodies of what they're capable of being.

01:00:42.000 Regarding where this is all heading, he says, my Zen teacher used to say that the force of good, this is what I thought was really interesting, the forces of good relative to the forces of evil are always around 50.1% versus 49.9%.

01:00:59.000 There's a similar notion in Judaism along these lines that the future of the world depends upon a single individual's actions.

01:01:08.000 And I think it says something like, paradoxical, like, we are a speck of dust and the fate of the universe hinges on us.

01:01:18.000 Wow.

01:01:19.000 That quote right there, we are a speck of dust and in quotes, the fate of the universe hinges on us.

01:01:28.000 When I read that today, I was like, holy shit.

01:01:30.000 Like, that's so true.

01:01:32.000 I mean, you see this right now, like, what's going on with Charlottesville and what's going on with the way Trump is reacting to it all and the way people reacting to it all.

01:01:32.000 Yeah.

01:01:42.000 People are digging in their heels and forming sides.

01:01:44.000 And this is any group, any group that wouldn't think that this is completely insane and totally out of control.

01:01:54.000 Any group of people that wouldn't think that someone driving a car into a group of protesters just randomly running over a girl, any group that wouldn't denounce that instantaneously as one of the most heinous things ever.

01:02:08.000 This is exactly what we're terrified of.

01:02:10.000 We see happening in Paris and in other parts of the world.

01:02:13.000 And here we have an American doing it.

01:02:15.000 And our differentiation is not even that we're being attacked.

01:02:21.000 The way we're looking at it in terms of it's white people and white nationalists versus Antifa, right?

01:02:28.000 We're not even looking at it like we're all Americans.

01:02:31.000 We're not even looking at it like we're all on the same team.

01:02:34.000 We're literally homegrowing terrorism.

01:02:38.000 That's a homegrown terrorist activity.

01:02:40.000 Yeah, 100%.

01:02:41.000 I mean, you're worried about al-Qaeda.

01:02:41.000 100%.

01:02:43.000 You worried about ISIS.

01:02:44.000 You're worried about the Taliban.

01:02:45.000 You've got something right here that is willing to drive a car into a random group of people that look just like him.

01:02:54.000 A bunch of white people.

01:02:55.000 Yeah.

01:02:56.000 I mean, this is completely fucking insane.

01:02:59.000 And the craziest part is they're not doing it to overthrow the yoke of empire.

01:03:03.000 It's not like Ireland back in the 70s with British control.

01:03:08.000 At least you can kind of be like, oh, they don't want to be controlled by the British. 0.68

01:03:11.000 These people are literally living in the most free country.

01:03:15.000 They're prosperous to the point of almost boredom where they start.

01:03:18.000 And I don't think Antifa realizes how much similarity they have to the people they claim to be fighting against.

01:03:25.000 It's a natural progression.

01:03:26.000 When you have extremely violent protests like these people happen, everybody ramps it up.

01:03:31.000 They ramp it up on the left.

01:03:32.000 They ramp it up on the right.

01:03:33.000 Everybody gets angry and this fucking asshole drives into a bunch of people.

01:03:37.000 Fuck, man.

01:03:38.000 It's fucking awful.

01:03:39.000 And then Trump said, here's the thing.

01:03:41.000 All this happened because they were taking down a statue of Robert E. Lee, who's the leader of the Confederates, right?

01:03:47.000 Trump literally said today, what's next?

01:03:50.000 We're going to take down a statue of George Washington.

01:03:54.000 It's like, what?

01:03:56.000 That's a bit of a false equivalence there.

01:03:58.000 Like, what?

01:03:59.000 How the fuck can he even say that?

01:04:02.000 Like, this is he's got some weird thing going on where he has to dance around his support for white supremacists or white nationalists.

01:04:10.000 He has to dance around it.

01:04:12.000 Which is weird because they're not that big of a group.

01:04:14.000 Like, it's not like, but if they're on your side, they're all on your side.

01:04:20.000 What is that?

01:04:21.000 10,000 people and it might be a lot more than you think, man.

01:04:25.000 Might be a lot of closet racists out there. 1.00

01:04:27.000 I see so much similarities between like, you know, white racists and then like the social justice racists where it's like, it's just, it's usually like the white Nazis are like the losers trying to get something out of their skin.

01:04:39.000 And then social justice warriors, a lot of times, are trying to get something out of an oppressed, being in an oppressed status.

01:04:44.000 And both of those groups, I'm like, you're both trying to avoid merit.

01:04:48.000 Like you're both just trying to get something from your stupid group.

01:04:51.000 Because you never see like a Nazi as like good looking or successful.

01:04:56.000 They're always just like, I deserve some shit because I'm white.

01:04:59.000 And you're like, then That means you're weak as fuck.

01:05:02.000 I just think it's just a massive failure from the beginning to now of thinking.

01:05:09.000 That's the only thing that makes sense to me.

01:05:11.000 Yeah, and just like the agenda thing, where it's like you start ignoring basic reality to get clicks or outrage culture.

01:05:20.000 Well, it's just not the way to go.

01:05:24.000 You should just join up with all white people like that. 1.00

01:05:26.000 It's just insane.

01:05:27.000 It's completely insane.

01:05:29.000 And even the concept of white is a new concept.

01:05:31.000 Like growing up, it's like, oh, you're Irish or Italian?

01:05:34.000 It's like, when did this fucking Federation kick off?

01:05:37.000 Well, we've been forced into this position by a thing called white privilege.

01:05:40.000 I don't know if you're aware of it.

01:05:41.000 I checked it on my way out.

01:05:42.000 Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

01:05:45.000 Yeah, well, I mean, that's the thing is we're all human beings who migrated from Africa.

01:05:51.000 That's a fact.

01:05:52.000 We go back far enough, but we're not willing to go back farther.

01:05:55.000 We're like, we're stopping wherever the fuck.

01:05:57.000 We got this accent from, and this is my homeland, and I'll defend it till my death.

01:06:02.000 That guy's just that color because it never fucking, it's always, it's always cloudy.

01:06:06.000 Yeah, vitamin D. Never stops raining.

01:06:08.000 That's literally it.

01:06:09.000 Exactly.

01:06:09.000 That's why they're so pale.

01:06:10.000 They're trying to suck as much of the vitamin D out of the sky as they can.

01:06:14.000 Yeah, because like 2% couldn't get pussy because they died. 0.94

01:06:18.000 They died from vitamin D. And that's how evolution works.

01:06:21.000 They turn into paper, those people.

01:06:23.000 They're little goddamn solar panels just walking around sucking in the vitamin D. They're all Africans. 1.00

01:06:31.000 Irish people are Africans that just stayed in Ireland. 1.00

01:06:35.000 Yes.

01:06:35.000 That's what they are.

01:06:36.000 That's what we all are.

01:06:37.000 It's just like a flash when we started separating, and it really has nothing to do with who we are as people.

01:06:42.000 I can see the criticism.

01:06:43.000 Yeah, you're one of those, bro.

01:06:44.000 I don't even see color people.

01:06:46.000 Those people, I don't even see color, bro.

01:06:49.000 And they'd be like, no, I am racist, but be like, listen, I don't want to be in my store, but I know we're equal.

01:06:56.000 Yeah.

01:06:58.000 I don't even see color, man, except with the gay rainbow. 1.00

01:07:01.000 Yeah, just so I'm not into Raiders fans or, you know, Chinese food shoppers.

01:07:06.000 Like, I used to do a song where it was like, black dudes with more than one pit bull scare the shit out of me, but a black guy with a cell phone on his belt, I trust. 1.00

01:07:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:07:13.000 That's hilarious.

01:07:14.000 I would have the crowd yell out anyway.

01:07:14.000 I would do it.

01:07:15.000 You got a guy who works at Verizon.

01:07:17.000 Yeah, because it's all cultural signifiers.

01:07:19.000 And so I would have the crowd yell out anybody, you know, white people. 0.62

01:07:22.000 It's like white dudes with teardrop tattoos in Idaho scare the, you know. 0.77

01:07:26.000 And you just go through any race and you're like, look, it's always, it's that Chris Rock joke that I won't repeat because I have my privileged.

01:07:34.000 But like, there's this group and then there's this group.

01:07:36.000 And everybody knows which one are the dickheads and which one, not even dickheads, but from a position of like desperation.

01:07:43.000 Yeah.

01:07:43.000 Depending on where you are in history.

01:07:45.000 If I walk by too many dudes that have their pants sagging, it's like more than two of them, I go, oh, these guys must make stupid decisions.

01:07:52.000 Yeah, bad decision guys.

01:07:53.000 Yeah.

01:07:54.000 If you got like your, your pants like down, like to like the curve, the downward curve of your ass, it's riding the curve and I can see like a giant percentage in your underwear. 0.88

01:08:05.000 Yeah, one guy may have forgot a belt.

01:08:07.000 Two guys, they're hiding guns.

01:08:09.000 It's not even that.

01:08:10.000 It's just they're just making stupid decisions with their life for sure.

01:08:14.000 My brother judges people based on if they back into their spot or not.

01:08:18.000 Oh, if they can.

01:08:19.000 No, my brother's like, that guy didn't back in.

01:08:21.000 Doesn't give a shit about his family.

01:08:22.000 Like he'll make fucking jumps.

01:08:24.000 He's like, oh, so R, then D, if someone needs him, I just back in in case of emergencies.

01:08:29.000 He's like, that is a good move, actually.

01:08:31.000 He's right, but it's just intense that it judge people on that.

01:08:35.000 Yeah, but like I'm getting out if I can back out.

01:08:40.000 Like I'll still get out.

01:08:41.000 Like how much of an advantage?

01:08:42.000 I'd like to see like a test that shows how much of an advantage you have in a danger situation.

01:08:48.000 Like a half second.

01:08:49.000 Like was he being attacked by like a terrorist?

01:08:50.000 He should have probably a whole second.

01:08:52.000 Let me think.

01:08:53.000 You back out and then you take off.

01:08:55.000 You probably have like a good solid two or three seconds probably.

01:08:58.000 Yeah, that could save you.

01:09:00.000 Yeah, you know what?

01:09:01.000 You might be able to make a light or, you know, like.

01:09:04.000 Yeah.

01:09:05.000 You might be able to figure out.

01:09:06.000 Like someone's falling off a cliff and you just like that's like two seconds.

01:09:10.000 Yeah.

01:09:11.000 But I guess, yeah, if you're in a danger situation, then the real question is, like, how dangerous are we talking?

01:09:17.000 Do you have to decide?

01:09:19.000 Like, do you want to be one of those people that survives nuclear holocaust or do you want to be one of those people that dies in the initial blast?

01:09:28.000 Alone death with my friends and family survive.

01:09:36.000 If I was alone, like if it was The Road, that book.

01:09:39.000 Yeah.

01:09:40.000 I didn't read that book, but I watched a little bit of the movie up until he was teaching his son where to shoot himself in the mouth to kill himself.

01:09:46.000 Yeah.

01:09:47.000 I was like, check, please.

01:09:48.000 That's some high-stake shit.

01:09:49.000 I'm good.

01:09:50.000 Yeah, I would have gone out with the blast.

01:09:53.000 It just seems like you don't want to cannibalize.

01:09:57.000 You just don't.

01:09:57.000 Stay alive.

01:09:58.000 You really don't.

01:09:59.000 You just don't.

01:10:02.000 You don't want to have to worry about people eating you either.

01:10:04.000 Bro, I'm scared of owls.

01:10:07.000 Like right now, imagine if you're constantly in threat of someone stealing everything you have.

01:10:12.000 Constantly.

01:10:13.000 Yeah, you're up in the middle of the night, cocked and ready to rock, looking out the window, always worried about invaders that might eat you.

01:10:22.000 Yeah, because I lost a bunch of chickens to a raccoon and a fox recently, and it dawned on me that stakes of life where I'm like, if I needed those eggs, like I'm fucking dead.

01:10:31.000 He killed nine of them in one night.

01:10:33.000 Jesus Christ.

01:10:34.000 And I was like, one mistake, like one hole in the thing.

01:10:37.000 They drink the blood, right?

01:10:38.000 Is that what they do?

01:10:39.000 They bite their neck and drink their blood? 0.81

01:10:39.000 The raccoons? 0.81

01:10:41.000 I think so.

01:10:42.000 They took the bodies.

01:10:43.000 Yeah.

01:10:43.000 Jesus Christ.

01:10:43.000 They did?

01:10:44.000 That's why I think there was a fox involved.

01:10:46.000 Oh.

01:10:47.000 Oh, yeah.

01:10:47.000 Wow, there's a whole party going on.

01:10:48.000 You're chicken kids. 0.88

01:10:49.000 Dude, it was crazy.

01:10:50.000 So we stayed up the next night with air rifles and shot a raccoon and a fox because they came back.

01:10:55.000 Oh, they did.

01:10:56.000 It was like a Disney movie.

01:10:57.000 God damn.

01:11:01.000 Air rifle, huh?

01:11:02.000 What kind?

01:11:04.000 Just one you get it like Ace.

01:11:05.000 It was just.

01:11:06.000 The hardware store one?

01:11:07.000 Yeah.

01:11:08.000 So did it kill him or just hurt?

01:11:10.000 I was just trying to set a tone.

01:11:11.000 Like, I wasn't looking to take him out.

01:11:13.000 I was looking to be like, listen, don't kill the girls. 0.92

01:11:15.000 Interesting.

01:11:16.000 Because I can't legally shoot a gun in my area, even though I'm in the country.

01:11:21.000 Time to go walk in dead style, son.

01:11:23.000 Get yourself a crossbow.

01:11:25.000 Yeah, I got a bow, but I'm not accurate yet.

01:11:27.000 Yeah, that's the problem.

01:11:28.000 It takes a long time to learn how to get accurate with a bow.

01:11:30.000 I would recommend a crossbow and a nice rest.

01:11:33.000 What a crossbow is, is basically a shitty gun.

01:11:35.000 Yeah.

01:11:36.000 It's a gun that shoots bolts.

01:11:37.000 I mean, it just doesn't...

01:11:40.000 I mean, you've got a trigger.

01:11:42.000 So all you have to do is just squeeze that sucker off and put the crosshairs on it.

01:11:46.000 And they fly really flat and really fast.

01:11:49.000 You know, you could fuck up a fox with one of those if you were so inclined.

01:11:53.000 I am inclined.

01:11:54.000 Well, if he keeps killing your chickens, you should definitely try to scare it off.

01:11:57.000 I mean, there's other options, too.

01:11:59.000 You can take urine.

01:12:01.000 They'll sell like mountain lion urine and even wolf urine.

01:12:04.000 I was kissing on it.

01:12:06.000 It doesn't work, dude.

01:12:07.000 They're like, it smells like vitamins.

01:12:09.000 Oh, he eats bananas.

01:12:10.000 He's been drunk for a week.

01:12:13.000 He's so dehydrated.

01:12:14.000 He's not going to do anything.

01:12:15.000 Yeah.

01:12:16.000 Get out of here.

01:12:17.000 Yeah, if you have different kinds of animals that get scared off by different kinds of scents.

01:12:24.000 Yeah, I got to get a scent.

01:12:25.000 Oh, man, get some wolf piss.

01:12:27.000 They sell that shit. 0.86

01:12:28.000 Wolf piss.

01:12:29.000 They do.

01:12:30.000 They really sell it.

01:12:31.000 They sell all kinds of different animal piss to ward off other animals.

01:12:36.000 It's really interesting.

01:12:37.000 Like hawk piss?

01:12:39.000 I don't think that works.

01:12:40.000 I don't think it works with raptors.

01:12:41.000 I think it's more of a mammal thing.

01:12:43.000 I don't know if raptors piss on stuff.

01:12:45.000 That'd be interesting if they did.

01:12:46.000 I know mammals do.

01:12:48.000 A lot of dogs and cats piss on shit to mark their ground.

01:12:52.000 Yeah, because it's like birds are like raptors.

01:12:54.000 They're fucking.

01:12:56.000 Using that word just changed my fucking whole opinion.

01:12:58.000 They're fucking gangster.

01:13:00.000 They're so predatory.

01:13:02.000 They're so ruthless, too.

01:13:04.000 Yeah, I used to work at a dock and I'd feed ducks bread and just watch them fucking destroy each other.

01:13:09.000 Oh, bite each other, stealing bread from each other.

01:13:12.000 That's why when a girl does a duck face, I instinctively throw bread at them. 1.00

01:13:19.000 So let's go back to that Google memo thing.

01:13:22.000 Because this is one of the weird lines in the sand that got crossed with this, is that everybody, I mean, everybody established a line in the sand, I should say.

01:13:22.000 Yeah.

01:13:31.000 And it was like, you either thought that memo was the worst thing you've ever read ever, and that guy's a misogynist piece of shit.

01:13:38.000 Or you said, well, yeah, evolutionary psychology sort of tries to explain why people choose certain things and like what factors, what factors are environmental, what factors are hormonal, what factors have to do with being a male, what factors have to do with being a female.

01:13:53.000 And there's like a lot of studies.

01:13:56.000 And that guy cited a lot of studies.

01:13:58.000 He talked, like, it was a really interesting thing.

01:14:02.000 The only thing that I think people could find derogatory maybe is that he said the women are more neurotic.

01:14:08.000 Neurotic is sort of a derogatory term, right?

01:14:13.000 Actually, a derogatory term, right?

01:14:14.000 It's not.

01:14:15.000 Neurotic is like saying that you're not handling something good.

01:14:19.000 You're not handling whatever pressures.

01:14:22.000 You're neurotic.

01:14:23.000 Oh, yeah.

01:14:24.000 I would be calm.

01:14:25.000 It's implying that another person handling that same situation, perhaps even male, would be more calm.

01:14:32.000 Like very aware would be the nice way of saying it.

01:14:32.000 Right.

01:14:36.000 Because my wife has a lot of anxiety, but once we had a baby, I was like, oh, this is why.

01:14:40.000 Because you're responsible for this little alien that can die.

01:14:43.000 Totally makes sense.

01:14:44.000 But the thing that guy said that when people would argue with me about it, I'd be like, so do you think men and women are the same?

01:14:53.000 And from there, I don't care if they're an expert, if they say there is no difference at all.

01:14:58.000 I'm like, my mom had her PhD and quit to raise us as soon as she had her baby.

01:15:04.000 My wife stays home with our son, was an engineer.

01:15:07.000 It's like, that isn't saying that there aren't rock star female engineers that have no interest in having a child. 1.00

01:15:13.000 All it does is affect the percentage.

01:15:16.000 And that's all he's saying is equality of outcome versus opportunity is really the debate.

01:15:21.000 And I'm very against equality of outcome because the legal precedent of that is insane.

01:15:25.000 Well, it becomes a real issue.

01:15:27.000 Like you have to find out, okay, what is the actual suppression?

01:15:31.000 What is stopping people from getting to this position that happen to be female? 1.00

01:15:35.000 Is it because they're being suppressed along the way?

01:15:37.000 Is it because the way they interact with each other is different than the way men interact with each other?

01:15:42.000 And so when men interact with them, they get upset by it.

01:15:47.000 There's different rules that have to be established in these working environments.

01:15:51.000 Is it that they don't want to have anything to do with that and they would rather not compete in one of those hostile, male-driven environments?

01:15:58.000 Is that why they choose not to get involved?

01:16:00.000 Or is someone stopping them?

01:16:02.000 Is someone saying, hey, we got to keep chicks out of here. 1.00

01:16:04.000 I don't like chicks. 1.00

01:16:05.000 It would completely depend on what's actually happening.

01:16:08.000 And if the latter's happening, well, then you got a real issue.

01:16:12.000 But if the former, like the very beginning one, if it's just they choose different stuff?

01:16:12.000 Exactly.

01:16:17.000 Ironically, it hurts women the most. 0.99

01:16:19.000 The very qualified ones with the job, people start looking at them like, oh, because they're women, even though programming itself was founded by a chick. 1.00

01:16:27.000 But I don't think that's...

01:16:31.000 Yeah.

01:16:32.000 Yeah.

01:16:33.000 Like some of my buddies saw it was coming on.

01:16:35.000 Is that what it's called?

01:16:35.000 COBOL?

01:16:36.000 Lovelace.

01:16:40.000 Yeah, it's like it's not discluding, it's not saying that women can't do it.

01:16:44.000 Of course not.

01:16:45.000 It's not saying less women are interested in doing it. 1.00

01:16:47.000 Yes.

01:16:48.000 So if you have an equal number of men and women, then you probably like artificially inflated the number of women.

01:16:57.000 Doesn't that make sense?

01:16:59.000 Unless, for some reason, women gravitate towards that thing in just as high a percentage as men do, which is really odd.

01:17:06.000 There's not a lot of things where women gravitate towards it with the same percentage of people. 0.96

01:17:11.000 It's the same, like, like, like, I'm sure there's a lot of fields of study.

01:17:14.000 I know, particularly nursing and I think a lot of the social studies that women gravitate towards in higher numbers, right?

01:17:21.000 Absolutely.

01:17:22.000 Like, like nursing, healthcare, even, I think even physicians.

01:17:26.000 I think there's more female physicians. 1.00

01:17:28.000 Maybe that's bullshit.

01:17:29.000 Maybe I read that from some.

01:17:30.000 Yeah, like teaching children.

01:17:31.000 Yeah.

01:17:32.000 Women gravitate more to. 1.00

01:17:33.000 Yeah, I mean, there's got to be a ton of different jobs that females gravitate towards in higher percentages. 1.00

01:17:41.000 We absolutely shouldn't insist that there's an equal representation of men in florists. 0.99

01:17:47.000 Exactly.

01:17:48.000 And in, you know, in interior design.

01:17:50.000 My brother's a lumberjack.

01:17:53.000 One woman worked with us one time and she was from Yale and probably doing a whole thing. 1.00

01:18:00.000 And couldn't, well, I don't know, but couldn't climb a tree.

01:18:03.000 And like some women for sure could. 1.00

01:18:05.000 But if you're going like these dudes go up 200-foot trees and spend all day like chopping them down, it's like that isn't going to draw 50% women. 1.00

01:18:16.000 It just isn't.

01:18:17.000 Here's what's the most hilarious thing about the Google memo: it upset so many women that they had to take time off.

01:18:24.000 Proving the point.

01:18:25.000 It's so crazy.

01:18:27.000 They wanted time off so bad that they went for it.

01:18:32.000 They want to play the victim so hard that they went for it, not even understanding that it proves the point of the most skeptical people.

01:18:41.000 The most skeptical people on the side of like, I don't know if these chicks are going to be able to pull their own weight. 0.92

01:18:45.000 I don't know if these chicks are going to... 1.00

01:18:50.000 Yeah, from a memo.

01:18:51.000 I can't handle this.

01:18:52.000 From a memo that was nice.

01:18:54.000 Somebody talked about evolutionary psychology, and I just can't handle it.

01:18:57.000 I need time away from work.

01:18:59.000 I'm being attacked.

01:19:01.000 I did a song because they said it was time for a female James Bond.

01:19:04.000 Oh, jeez.

01:19:05.000 And I was like, I called her 0077 cents on the dollar.

01:19:10.000 And one of the, it was Jane Bond.

01:19:12.000 She's open to hyphenation.

01:19:14.000 And then one of the lines is in need of a vacation.

01:19:16.000 That's so funny.

01:19:17.000 Because it's like, if you take Jane, you can have a female spy. 0.82

01:19:21.000 It's just going to be different tactics.

01:19:23.000 You can't have a male Wonder Woman. 1.00

01:19:26.000 Okay?

01:19:27.000 Okay.

01:19:28.000 We need rules.

01:19:28.000 You can't have a female James Bond.

01:19:31.000 Make your own fucking detective.

01:19:34.000 You can't be James Bond.

01:19:36.000 Right.

01:19:36.000 He's a God.

01:19:37.000 And I'm cool with Black Santa. 0.98

01:19:39.000 I am too.

01:19:40.000 Because that's I think Megyn Kelly was out of line. 1.00

01:19:44.000 She was out of line.

01:19:46.000 But theoretically, why the fuck would he be black if he was living up in the North Pole? 0.95

01:19:51.000 He'd be white as shit. 0.86

01:19:52.000 That's the whole point of the artist.

01:19:53.000 It's magic.

01:19:54.000 There's no goddamn sun up there.

01:19:55.000 It's freezing cold.

01:19:57.000 Yeah, black. 0.95

01:19:58.000 There could be black Santa, but he would die of rickets.

01:19:58.000 Bickets outside.

01:20:01.000 Well, I don't think that would be the case, but I think he would have a real issue getting some vitamin D. He would.

01:20:07.000 He'd have to go get it somewhere.

01:20:09.000 Maybe some supplements.

01:20:10.000 Yeah, his spine would get all fucked up.

01:20:11.000 Telling them elves.

01:20:12.000 Hook me up, dude.

01:20:13.000 You know, when you're building little toy trains and shit, go build me some fucking vitamin D, bitch. 1.00

01:20:19.000 Yeah, the D elves. 0.96

01:20:21.000 Use that Christmas magic, right?

01:20:23.000 Make Santa some vitamin D. I can't work, dude.

01:20:25.000 Yeah, and then they always bring, they bring blow, too, because Santa's got to stay up for two straight days.

01:20:30.000 Santa does Adderall like crazy.

01:20:32.000 Just rampages.

01:20:34.000 Listens to only techno, only house music while he's making toys.

01:20:39.000 Crunch time is like, you know, all through December, he's frantic.

01:20:42.000 Yeah.

01:20:43.000 Popping Adderall.

01:20:44.000 Can't sleep.

01:20:45.000 Yeah.

01:20:45.000 And then, and then like, and everyone's like, why are the presents alphabetical?

01:20:49.000 And he's like, oh, fuck.

01:20:50.000 Got to be alphabetical.

01:20:51.000 Oh, he's organized.

01:20:52.000 He over organized.

01:20:53.000 Santa went crazy.

01:20:54.000 They went way crazy.

01:20:56.000 But yeah, it's like, if you say that there has to be an equal outcome, you're going to sacrifice quality.

01:21:01.000 I wonder what jobs there would be where you have, if you have 100 men and 100 women, what jobs would you have to be where you had an equal number of men and an equal number of women that are interested in those jobs out of 100?

01:21:14.000 Like, what job would that be?

01:21:16.000 What do you think would be?

01:21:19.000 Other than, like, famous.

01:21:20.000 I want to be famous.

01:21:22.000 What about high school teacher?

01:21:26.000 I feel like we're on family feud.

01:21:27.000 Do I have high school teacher?

01:21:30.000 I go to the Richard Dawson family feud, by the way.

01:21:32.000 No disrespect, Steve Harvey.

01:21:34.000 Yeah.

01:21:34.000 If I remember Steve Dawson.

01:21:37.000 Serve Aces!

01:21:40.000 That guy would always kind of like grab people a little.

01:21:42.000 Like, Richard Dawson?

01:21:43.000 He's probably drunk.

01:21:44.000 Yeah, he'd like put his hands on people.

01:21:45.000 He'd be like, there's only 15 of those.

01:21:47.000 Hey, here's a guy.

01:21:49.000 He was in a fucking Nazi comedy.

01:21:53.000 He was a goddamn Nazi comedy. 0.62

01:21:54.000 He was in Hogan's Heroes.

01:21:56.000 That's a goddamn Nazi comedy. 0.79

01:21:56.000 Oh, yeah. 0.79

01:21:59.000 I gotta hear that.

01:22:00.000 He existed less than 30 years after the war.

01:22:04.000 Right?

01:22:04.000 It's like I love Lucy, but Auschwitz.

01:22:06.000 Like, what's that pitch like?

01:22:08.000 Let's ask the question.

01:22:09.000 What year do you think Hogan's Heroes came out?

01:22:12.000 I want to say it was in the 70s.

01:22:15.000 And the war ended in 47, correct?

01:22:17.000 When was Hogan's Heroes?

01:22:19.000 65?

01:22:20.000 Holy shit.

01:22:21.000 Holy shit.

01:22:22.000 Dude, that's less than 20 years after the war was over.

01:22:25.000 They had a goddamn comedy about the war.

01:22:27.000 Do you think that's gallows humor?

01:22:28.000 Like, it affected so many people that they had this, like, impulse to mock it?

01:22:32.000 Well, I think people were tougher back then.

01:22:34.000 For sure.

01:22:34.000 And they could joke around about shit more.

01:22:36.000 Hence, Archie Bunker.

01:22:38.000 Yeah.

01:22:38.000 Which would be literally impossible to have today.

01:22:41.000 The amount of outrage if someone tried to make a character like Archie Bunker.

01:22:46.000 Yeah.

01:22:47.000 Oh, look at that.

01:22:48.000 He was wearing a fucking, remember he had to pretend to be a Nazi at one point in time, snuck in?

01:22:54.000 There's so much horror today and so much anger at even racist characters in fiction.

01:23:00.000 If you have a racist character in fiction, people are angry at you.

01:23:05.000 Like, there's a bunch of what's young, what's young fiction?

01:23:10.000 Like, young boy.

01:23:13.000 There's a category that they use, but there's this very popular book, and it's being attacked by all these social justice warriors because of this one character that's racist.

01:23:26.000 And so someone took the racist quotes that this character said and took them completely out of context, out of the context of the book, and published it in a blog and was saying, like, look at this racist bullshit that's in this book.

01:23:40.000 And then people were getting like really mad at the, of course, they never read the book.

01:23:44.000 They just read the blog, which is what people do.

01:23:47.000 And so they got super fucking mad.

01:23:50.000 And it just became this huge thing.

01:23:52.000 Like, wait, wait a minute.

01:23:53.000 You're saying you can't have a monster in a book?

01:23:55.000 Can you have a guy who's a murderer?

01:23:56.000 Because if we can't do that, I need to know where the fucking line is, man.

01:24:01.000 I can't make a book about a serial killer.

01:24:04.000 Oh, I can.

01:24:04.000 Okay, but he can't be racist.

01:24:06.000 Right.

01:24:06.000 Oh, got it.

01:24:07.000 Okay.

01:24:07.000 Can I make a book about a guy who brings people back from the dead and they kill a bunch of people?

01:24:12.000 Like, ah, can I do that?

01:24:14.000 I can.

01:24:14.000 Okay, but he can't be racist.

01:24:16.000 He can't discriminate against Chinese people. 0.96

01:24:17.000 He can't discriminate.

01:24:18.000 If he uses the wrong pronoun, it doesn't matter.

01:24:20.000 Imagine how fucking stupid you have to be.

01:24:22.000 That's a black witch. 1.00

01:24:23.000 Right now, I'd be called Dr. Jekyll.

01:24:26.000 Like, if you forget Hyde, you don't learn.

01:24:29.000 Like, like, My mom was teaching a class once, and she was like, They took N-word Jim out of Huckleberry Finn.

01:24:36.000 Yeah, they did.

01:24:37.000 You took that word out.

01:24:38.000 You can't know a time unless you know the characters from that time, you know?

01:24:42.000 And it's giving people a real disservice to just emasculate and neuter our history so that everybody can't see what real dangers are.

01:24:49.000 Like what just happened in Charlottesville?

01:24:51.000 Like, all the people that called Dave Rubin a Nazi now have to use the same word for these people.

01:24:57.000 Right, exactly.

01:24:57.000 And it's like now it has no meaning.

01:24:59.000 Exactly.

01:25:00.000 Yeah.

01:25:00.000 Very good point.

01:25:01.000 Thank you.

01:25:02.000 It's really important to not overreact to people that don't have the exact same opinion as you.

01:25:09.000 Now, when something like this happens, you realize, okay, that's what you should react to.

01:25:14.000 Exactly.

01:25:15.000 This is real.

01:25:16.000 You got a bunch of douchebags with a fucking, with torches from Home Depot or wherever the fuck they got this. 0.99

01:25:16.000 This is real. 0.99

01:25:22.000 Those are those Citronella court.

01:25:25.000 People have them in like the suburbs.

01:25:26.000 They have like a tiki party or something.

01:25:27.000 Dude, I was good.

01:25:28.000 I was going to buy some, and now I can't.

01:25:30.000 Come on.

01:25:30.000 Like, I was literally going to, like, I like those torches for killing mosquitoes.

01:25:34.000 And I was thinking about it.

01:25:35.000 I'm like, I'm not going to buy those now because it's Charlottesville.

01:25:38.000 And all these guys, I mean, if any of those people that are into that are listening, I'm not even upset at you.

01:25:47.000 As a human, you get trapped into patterns of thinking.

01:25:50.000 I'm upset at that pattern.

01:25:52.000 I'm upset that this is a repeated, repeating pattern that's happened through human history where people decide that there's specific groups that somehow or another deserve preferential treatment or are better or superior or should dominate over other groups.

01:26:12.000 It's stupid and it's bad for business.

01:26:16.000 It's bad for the business of being human beings.

01:26:18.000 It gets in the way.

01:26:19.000 You're judging people on nonsense and you get to all be in the group just because you have similar skin color.

01:26:24.000 That's fucking stupid.

01:26:26.000 You're allowing a bunch of losers in your group then because your only differentiation is that they have to be white. 0.99

01:26:33.000 That is insanely stupid.

01:26:35.000 It's so stupid.

01:26:36.000 You're going to miss out on all the cool black people. 1.00

01:26:39.000 You're going to miss out on all the cool Cubans and all the cool Puerto Ricans. 0.95

01:26:42.000 You're going to miss out on them.

01:26:43.000 And you're going to think that you have some family in this idea that you all have Nordic roots or something like that.

01:26:49.000 It's so dumb.

01:26:52.000 I understand if you run into people that are black and they're racist against white people and you feel like white people have to protect themselves.

01:27:00.000 If you get in one of those situations, and those situations are real, they can happen.

01:27:04.000 Racism can occur on both sides.

01:27:06.000 And it's another disingenuous thing that the left is doing, is accepting this idea that you can only be racist if you're white.

01:27:13.000 Because that's a racist statement.

01:27:14.000 It's so racist.

01:27:15.000 It's so ridiculous.

01:27:16.000 But this is something that people were, I think they've kind of let it go for most recently, like out there in the Twitter sphere.

01:27:23.000 But for a good long time, it was a defensible argument that a black person couldn't be racist because racism is all about power and black people don't have power over white people. 0.61

01:27:33.000 Like, well, that is, you're changing the word.

01:27:36.000 You're changing the fucking word and you're going to empower actual racists.

01:27:39.000 Of course.

01:27:40.000 And it's like no one, you don't know Nazis till you know Treaty of Versailles and you don't know this until you like, you know, just over shaming always has a springboard effect.

01:27:49.000 Like always.

01:27:50.000 Like after World War I, it's the same with like, you know, the shamed gay guy is the one that like hates gay people, you know?

01:27:55.000 Yeah.

01:27:56.000 Where it's like shame is a horrible thing in people.

01:27:59.000 And so World War I, blood on all hands.

01:28:01.000 You know, that was started and executed for very bizarre reasons.

01:28:05.000 They blame Germany for all of it to the point where they destroyed Germany and then they were looking for a voice that gave them hope and that voice is insane.

01:28:14.000 And so that happens, that happened in this where it's like, dear white people, being white, you should just say sorry all the fucking time, even though your people came in 1904. 0.66

01:28:22.000 Well, you can see it today in the people that never criticize Trump and have like exclamation points and they write MAGA after all their tweets, no matter what Trump does, no matter what Trump says.

01:28:33.000 It's always amazing.

01:28:34.000 Everything's always perfect.

01:28:35.000 Like, okay, well, I see what you're doing because you're not really thinking.

01:28:39.000 You're not really thinking.

01:28:40.000 You got a fucking team.

01:28:41.000 You're go, Raiders.

01:28:43.000 Let's go, Raiders. 0.98

01:28:44.000 You're let's go Trump.

01:28:45.000 Like, well, now this is not, this is not healthy.

01:28:47.000 This is not a normal way to discuss super important issues.

01:28:51.000 When Trump said today that, like, what's next?

01:28:55.000 They're going to take down a statue of George Washington?

01:28:57.000 It's like they took down a statue of Robert E. And everybody's forgotten, what's next?

01:29:00.000 We're going to take down a statue of George Washington.

01:29:02.000 You're like, what?

01:29:02.000 Yeah, that's like when the word normalizing actually fits.

01:29:06.000 You know, like all these things that have been so flooded, that is normalizing something terrible.

01:29:11.000 But it's like so crazy.

01:29:13.000 You can't compare George fucking Washington with Robert E. Lee is actually a problem.

01:29:18.000 But the left is like over-pointed out problems to the point where no one, like you can't have your, you don't trust your instincts right now.

01:29:26.000 Where you're like, if I say this, does this make me racist?

01:29:28.000 It's like, what, that it's 80 degrees outside?

01:29:30.000 How is that linked?

01:29:32.000 You know, and also I think anybody coming in and deciding to do something is a problem.

01:29:38.000 You know, like people coming in and deciding to take down a statue.

01:29:42.000 That statue is a symbol to a lot of people, and a lot of people step in and say, hey, this is it.

01:29:48.000 I think there should be some sort of real, prolonged, intelligent conversation about what that statue means and have it in a way where a bunch of people can see it and have it represented on both sides.

01:30:01.000 Have it represented by the side of people that think it's a good idea to keep it up and have it represented on the side of someone who thinks it's a good idea to move on and maybe we should take this thing and put it in some sort of a war museum and not having it represent the goddamn Confederate soldiers in the middle of this town that's not Confederate.

01:30:19.000 The war is gone because you're holding on to this idea that your team lost a battle and that there's an invading army that's in with you right now.

01:30:29.000 No, we're all Americans.

01:30:30.000 Okay.

01:30:30.000 This is old, old, old shit.

01:30:32.000 1860 shit.

01:30:33.000 Okay.

01:30:34.000 Let it go, stupid.

01:30:35.000 Let's take this down and let's put up a goddamn glorious kid rock tattoo style ego with a fucking flag behind it. 1.00

01:30:42.000 Come on.

01:30:44.000 Do you really love America?

01:30:45.000 Let's take down the Robert E. Lee and put a hulking American ego with a fucking flag blowing in the wind. 1.00

01:30:52.000 Just cash.

01:30:53.000 And then underneath it, have a gigantic plaque of everybody that lost their lives in the last two wars over the last 20 years.

01:31:01.000 Have that.

01:31:02.000 Yeah, I think a lot of it is how it's being represented, too.

01:31:04.000 Is it like a glorious statue or is it just a relic of history?

01:31:09.000 I think the debate is.

01:31:11.000 No, I haven't either.

01:31:11.000 Have you seen it?

01:31:13.000 Let's look at it.

01:31:14.000 Find out what's the statue of Robert E. Lee that they were taking down.

01:31:17.000 I'm curious.

01:31:18.000 Me too.

01:31:18.000 What if he was like, found out he was like banging a slave?

01:31:23.000 Oh, that's it?

01:31:24.000 Torch-wielding protesters rally a Confederate statue.

01:31:28.000 Yeah.

01:31:28.000 Can we go large on that, buddy?

01:31:30.000 Wow.

01:31:30.000 That's a beautiful piece of art.

01:31:32.000 You know, I mean, much like when you look at Genghis Khan, it's a beautiful piece of art.

01:31:37.000 You know, you look at some of the statues and things that they constructed from back in his day.

01:31:44.000 You know, you think about it.

01:31:45.000 You go, wow, this is a guy at war.

01:31:47.000 Yeah, who killed 5% of the earth.

01:31:49.000 Yeah.

01:31:50.000 Something even crazier.

01:31:51.000 I think he killed like 10% of the world's population while he was alive.

01:31:54.000 Yeah, this is a tough one.

01:31:56.000 Because that is a rebel army we lost, so that should be taken down.

01:31:59.000 But at the same time, it's like...

01:32:02.000 Then do the natives, Americans tell people to take down Washington?

01:32:06.000 Then you start getting in a battle of like, well, this person wronged my people.

01:32:20.000 And it's like, at what point is it with this one?

01:32:24.000 I think that it's a valid argument to take it down because it was a rebel army in a rebel army in the country that it's still in.

01:32:33.000 But at the same time, it's like, it's a slippery slope of erasing.

01:32:37.000 You know?

01:32:37.000 Right.

01:32:38.000 Well, I don't think you should have it in your state capitol, wherever the fuck that is.

01:32:41.000 Is that what it is?

01:32:42.000 State capitol building?

01:32:43.000 Oh, well, that's a no-brainer.

01:32:44.000 It represents that's state.

01:32:46.000 Is that what it is?

01:32:47.000 I don't know where it is.

01:32:48.000 See if you could pull it up again, just so we know what the fuck we're talking about.

01:32:51.000 I think that was kind of like, I think it was like a state building.

01:32:54.000 Like, it was a big deal.

01:32:55.000 That's how I felt about Confederate flag.

01:32:56.000 I'm like, obviously take it off state buildings, justices.

01:32:59.000 Well, it's still a part of a few different flags.

01:33:02.000 That to me crosses that line where you're like, oh, well, now you're incorporating it into the government that a lot of people associate with like valid social issues.

01:33:02.000 Right.

01:33:11.000 Yeah.

01:33:11.000 I mean, to this day, I think it's on Mississippi's.

01:33:14.000 That's very intense.

01:33:16.000 It's in Emancipation Park in front of their courthouse.

01:33:16.000 Yeah.

01:33:19.000 In front of the courthouse.

01:33:21.000 Wow.

01:33:21.000 Man, that's a bit of a tone.

01:33:23.000 You can't do that.

01:33:25.000 I mean, you got to get that guy out of there.

01:33:27.000 Look, I think for sure we should keep it.

01:33:30.000 I mean, I don't think they should destroy it.

01:33:31.000 Just like I don't think they should destroy, you know, if there's a statue of Mao somewhere.

01:33:36.000 I don't think they should destroy it.

01:33:37.000 I think we should look at it and hold on to it so that future generations can look back and go, wow.

01:33:43.000 That's possible.

01:33:44.000 That Berlin Wall.

01:33:45.000 Like those little pieces to be like, people fucking split the world in two at one point.

01:33:51.000 And if we forget that, we start doing this live-action role-play until someone gets hit by a car.

01:33:56.000 Well, we want better, right?

01:33:57.000 So we want better, so we pretend that better already exists or is possible if we force people to behave the way we want.

01:34:04.000 Right.

01:34:05.000 You know, there's a bunch of different ways where people try to achieve better.

01:34:09.000 You know, and they're not all smart.

01:34:11.000 Because a lot of them are based on how you feel right now and what you want to change.

01:34:14.000 So you try to be forceful.

01:34:16.000 But like the bounce back thing we're talking about, it doesn't really work like that.

01:34:20.000 When you push too hard at people and you don't respect them, even if they're as ridiculous as a white nationalist, when you push at them, and why do I say it's ridiculous if you're asking?

01:34:31.000 Because it's all ridiculous.

01:34:32.000 I think being a black nationalist is ridiculous too.

01:34:35.000 I think it's all ridiculous.

01:34:36.000 I think you should be a human being.

01:34:37.000 And just because you enjoy black culture doesn't mean you have to be racist.

01:34:41.000 You can enjoy Chinese people just as much.

01:34:44.000 We can all just be cool with each other.

01:34:45.000 But this idea that there's like one superior race is insane.

01:34:50.000 We are all interconnected in some very bizarre way and we help each other.

01:34:54.000 And that's what culture is.

01:34:56.000 That's what civilization is.

01:34:57.000 The reason why it all works so well is that we're all intertwined with each other, learning from each other, trying to figure out how to navigate this thing together, competing with each other, improving upon whatever the fuck it is we're working on because of the competition from all sorts of different parts of the world, different cultures and behavior patterns and levels of aggression, levels of intellect, and all of us combined in some sort of a swarming soup of innovation and ideas and communication and trying to figure this thing out together.

01:35:25.000 And as soon as you just lump it all up to white people only, like, get the fuck out of here with that old stupid idea.

01:35:31.000 That's a stupid idea.

01:35:33.000 Yeah, and that's why I'm so anti-PC and cultural appropriation stuff because those are the mechanisms to share.

01:35:39.000 Where it's like, it's not because I'm white and I don't want people to get credit for whatever they've.

01:35:46.000 It's saying, how do we, you know, there's no quote that when goods, when goods stop going across borders, armies go across borders.

01:35:53.000 Where it's like, if culture is coming together and sharing and developing and everything you just said is necessary for multiculturalism.

01:36:00.000 And so if you say, I can't wear a sombrero because I'm a white guy, even though I'm, you know.

01:36:06.000 Stupid.

01:36:06.000 As long as you're not being an asshole about it, you're just having fun.

01:36:09.000 What's the big deal?

01:36:10.000 And who needs that brim?

01:36:11.000 White guys. 0.81

01:36:12.000 Yeah, pale as fuck.

01:36:13.000 Right.

01:36:14.000 Mexicans have a nice dark complexion.

01:36:15.000 They can handle it.

01:36:16.000 I know.

01:36:16.000 Jews have no brim.

01:36:17.000 Dude, very good.

01:36:18.000 Very important point.

01:36:19.000 Mexicans and Jews should switch hats. 1.00

01:36:23.000 Some of the super Orthodox ones, they have the crazy brim, right? 1.00

01:36:26.000 Yeah, they're like cheese heads with fur.

01:36:28.000 Oh, that's a different one, right?

01:36:29.000 That's a different one.

01:36:30.000 That's a different kind of hat they wear.

01:36:31.000 I've seen that one.

01:36:32.000 Yeah, that's a weird one.

01:36:34.000 It's like part of West Hollywood has a bunch of those hats.

01:36:36.000 Yeah, that's an interesting thing about Hollywood.

01:36:38.000 When you drive, there's certain neighborhoods you go down to that are all Orthodox Jews, or at least a high volume of them.

01:36:43.000 So you see them with the strings that hang down from their belt.

01:36:47.000 Totally.

01:36:48.000 Ari Shavir used to rock those.

01:36:50.000 Those things?

01:36:51.000 Oh, yeah, you had the whole garb.

01:36:52.000 That's so intense.

01:36:53.000 There those dudes are.

01:36:54.000 There's the hat.

01:36:56.000 Yeah, it's like cheese head.

01:36:57.000 That is some ancient shit that that culture's clinging to. 0.92

01:37:00.000 What is bananas?

01:37:00.000 Yeah.

01:37:01.000 Like, when do they say no more?

01:37:04.000 Like, you know, what year are they like, all right, we're 18-15 guys?

01:37:08.000 Well, as long as you can keep together.

01:37:09.000 I mean, this is a nice representation of what we're talking about, non-integration.

01:37:14.000 You know, if you keep together in your own little community and only cohabitate with your own, you keep this thing going as long as you can, and that's what they're doing right now.

01:37:23.000 That's the irony of lack of oppression sometimes.

01:37:26.000 I was talking to these gay dudes in Houston recently, and they were like almost bummed that everyone loves gay people so much because they don't feel as unified.

01:37:36.000 They're like, we used to have a bar.

01:37:37.000 And I'm like, you can still have the bar, man.

01:37:40.000 You just now have the Bravo channel, too.

01:37:41.000 Yeah, but guys go in the bar now. 0.96

01:37:43.000 Like straight guys will go into gay bars and girls. 0.78

01:37:46.000 Girls fucking love gay bars. 1.00

01:37:48.000 They go to gay bars.

01:37:49.000 And that's why straight guys go there sometimes because girls are together.

01:37:51.000 They just go to a gay guys' bar.

01:37:54.000 Straight guys, like they fucking weasel in on gay girls or drunk straight girls, rather. 0.78

01:37:58.000 They deal with it.

01:37:59.000 Like, it doesn't even matter if you touch it.

01:38:01.000 I don't give shy.

01:38:02.000 I don't even feel anything.

01:38:03.000 I don't feel shit.

01:38:04.000 Even when I'm coming, I don't feel it.

01:38:08.000 Or it also shows they're so open-minded.

01:38:10.000 He goes to the gay bar.

01:38:11.000 I love that he's so confident.

01:38:13.000 Yeah, and women will go there vulnerable sometimes. 0.94

01:38:16.000 Ooh.

01:38:16.000 So it's like, it's like, I've just got a relationship and I want to just talk and not be hit on because I'm so vulnerable.

01:38:21.000 And then some dude's like, look at my fanny pack.

01:38:24.000 There's a dick in it.

01:38:25.000 Whoa.

01:38:26.000 I also love fanny packs, by the way.

01:38:27.000 It's like that Mickey Rourke game that he did in Diner.

01:38:31.000 Remember the movie Diner?

01:38:32.000 He put his dick through the hole in the bottom of the bucket of popcorn.

01:38:36.000 Seem bat his friend that she would grab his dick. 1.00

01:38:39.000 And he's like, no fucking way.

01:38:40.000 And so he put his dick through the popcorn and then had it sit on his lap and she reached in and grabbed it. 1.00

01:38:45.000 Wow.

01:38:46.000 But what if she didn't realize it was his dick and just pulled up?

01:38:50.000 Just yanked it.

01:38:51.000 And broke it off.

01:38:52.000 Like when you were yanking off that chimpanzee.

01:38:55.000 There it is.

01:38:55.000 There's a scene.

01:38:56.000 That's back when Mickey Mork is a beautiful man.

01:38:57.000 Can you imagine that scene now?

01:38:59.000 Yeah, that's what I was just going to say.

01:39:01.000 It's rape. 1.00

01:39:02.000 That's essentially rape. 1.00

01:39:04.000 I mean, you can't do that.

01:39:06.000 You can't force someone to be intimate with you and trick them.

01:39:10.000 If someone's intimate with you, don't even play that on this show.

01:39:12.000 God damn it.

01:39:12.000 This is rape culture.

01:39:14.000 You shut that off right now.

01:39:15.000 Just for us.

01:39:17.000 Too hot.

01:39:18.000 Yeah, like when I was a kid, it was so different that I have to train myself to not be like, you should see how crazy shit can get.

01:39:24.000 Like, there used to be dudes just whacking off in the street.

01:39:27.000 It was like weird.

01:39:28.000 Did they really?

01:39:29.000 Yeah.

01:39:30.000 You saw dudes whacking off in the street?

01:39:31.000 Well, there was one dude in the middle school woods who would just chase everyone whacking off.

01:39:35.000 And it was like you'd tell your parents.

01:39:38.000 Like you'd tell your parents and your parents are like, yeah, you can brush that one off.

01:39:40.000 That's not their crazy.

01:39:41.000 You can brush that one off.

01:39:44.000 That was an actual wiener right there.

01:39:47.000 I don't think so.

01:39:47.000 I think she hasn't grabbed it yet.

01:39:49.000 There's a lot of drama in this movie.

01:39:51.000 It's a slow burn.

01:39:52.000 People wouldn't even have time for that today.

01:39:54.000 People are so Twitterified.

01:39:56.000 Everybody's like, oh, there she goes.

01:39:57.000 She grabbed it and she's mad and she got up to leave. 0.81

01:39:59.000 Bam.

01:40:02.000 She's outraged.

01:40:03.000 But then when you pull the ween out, all the popcorn just falls in your lap.

01:40:06.000 Yeah, you've got to be...

01:40:09.000 Here it goes.

01:40:09.000 She's going to grab a...

01:40:13.000 That was really subtly good acting.

01:40:15.000 Yeah.

01:40:16.000 Like, he was like, whoa.

01:40:17.000 It was terrible acting.

01:40:17.000 Well, yeah.

01:40:20.000 I really liked it.

01:40:21.000 The editing was bad.

01:40:22.000 There's obviously two takes, too.

01:40:24.000 Two different.

01:40:25.000 That did get a lot of coverage.

01:40:26.000 Yeah, I was like, this happened, but this happened before this app.

01:40:29.000 I was like, why are you showing it like that?

01:40:30.000 It's weird.

01:40:31.000 It's like, we got to get plenty of coverage.

01:40:32.000 He almost had a replay, like a half a second replay.

01:40:36.000 Yeah, man, you can't do that anymore.

01:40:38.000 Couldn't have that in a movie.

01:40:39.000 No.

01:40:40.000 Probably for good.

01:40:41.000 I don't know.

01:40:41.000 But why not?

01:40:42.000 I'm wrestling with that, too.

01:40:43.000 Right.

01:40:44.000 If it's fiction, right, there are people like that that can exist.

01:40:47.000 Like, we were talking about murderers.

01:40:48.000 Are you allowed to have monsters and murderers? 0.99

01:40:50.000 Are you allowed to show movies about war?

01:40:52.000 Okay.

01:40:52.000 Well, if you are, how come you can't have a rapist in a movie?

01:40:56.000 But you obviously can.

01:40:57.000 Is it in good taste?

01:40:59.000 Is it something people want to see?

01:41:00.000 Well, won't the market dictate that?

01:41:02.000 You know, like, I don't know if you should be able to say that we're allowed to have murderers in a movie, but we're not allowed to have rapists.

01:41:09.000 Yeah, it's got to be market.

01:41:10.000 Yeah, I feel like I don't want to see people get raped, but I don't know that you should be able to tell someone they can't do that.

01:41:18.000 Or they can't write it up.

01:41:19.000 And it always ends bad.

01:41:20.000 That's the draw of socialism.

01:41:21.000 It's narcissism where someone goes, if I had control, everyone would be better.

01:41:26.000 And then even if that guy's awesome, the next guy's Stalin. 0.70

01:41:30.000 Well, that's the thing is like these, these kind of, like we're talking about the statue, having a long conversation.

01:41:35.000 Like you have to have conversations about this kind of shit.

01:41:37.000 Like, should you want to read about rape?

01:41:40.000 No, of course not.

01:41:42.000 But should you be able to put whatever the fuck you want into whatever it is that it's your creation?

01:41:49.000 I mean, you're sitting there and you're writing out a story that you're manipulating with your imagination.

01:41:56.000 You're putting it all together.

01:41:58.000 You should be able to have horrific characters that everyone is terrified of, that people are trying to get away from.

01:42:03.000 If that includes rapists or murderers or whoever the fuck it is, if you're trying to tell a terrifying tale in a book, you can't be hindered.

01:42:10.000 You can't be stopped.

01:42:11.000 Like, we have to be really careful about what we're saying here.

01:42:15.000 Well, we're submitting will to someone that doesn't have our best interests.

01:42:18.000 That's what it is.

01:42:19.000 Because no one really cares that much, I don't think.

01:42:23.000 I think they care, but I don't think they're thinking.

01:42:25.000 I think it's more of a not thinking about this.

01:42:27.000 Like, it doesn't, just because someone has a book about rapists doesn't mean people are going to rape more. 0.92

01:42:32.000 It's like if there's a book about, you know, people that are murderers, they're not going to go out and murder more.

01:42:37.000 You know, like that's, I don't, I don't believe that that's valid.

01:42:40.000 I think when you're talking about fiction, and again, I don't want to read about it, but I don't want you to be able to tell people that they can't write about certain things.

01:42:50.000 That seems to me like way over the line.

01:42:53.000 Like way over the line.

01:42:54.000 Yeah, because then you can't do critical government stuff.

01:42:56.000 It's the legal precedent that's set that then makes the craziest shit possible.

01:43:01.000 Where it's like, oh, this is words are violence.

01:43:03.000 These words are violence.

01:43:04.000 I'm raped.

01:43:05.000 Now no one can say like, our new president is horrible.

01:43:09.000 You know, like now you can't even show dissent.

01:43:11.000 It's all just a way to tighten the screws.

01:43:13.000 Well, don't you think that people on the left, though, are showing dissent more than like violent dissent towards the president?

01:43:19.000 Like really like angry, like in a way that I can't remember anybody doing towards Obama.

01:43:25.000 No, to the point where it freaks me out.

01:43:27.000 Like they're like it's weird.

01:43:29.000 Well, I didn't, I wasn't obviously traveling in the right circles, like for people that are really angry at Obama.

01:43:35.000 But even the people that I saw online that are angry at him, they're calling him incompetent or a fool or spending all of our money and all these different accusations.

01:43:42.000 But not like what I'm seeing with Trump.

01:43:44.000 Like I'm seeing just like flat out insults from famous people all the time.

01:43:49.000 Yeah, in the media.

01:43:50.000 I don't get why people totally trust the media.

01:43:53.000 It's like you'll see them misrepresent something in such an egregious way.

01:43:57.000 And my dad is a rhetoric professor.

01:44:00.000 So it's like he teaches a class in propaganda.

01:44:02.000 This is like my whole childhood is learning about this shit.

01:44:05.000 And so I'm watching CNN.

01:44:06.000 I'm like, you motherfuckers, you know exactly.

01:44:08.000 Like you can misrepresent things so egregiously that I'm like, of course no one's going to trust you.

01:44:14.000 And by the way, no problem, right?

01:44:15.000 And it's not that you don't wish that they were correct, right?

01:44:19.000 It's that in them lying, even if you're on their side more than you're on the Fox News side, if CNN lies even a little, then it's fuel for the other side and it vastly diminishes the impact that you can have because you're not trustworthy anymore.

01:44:37.000 Absolutely.

01:44:37.000 That's all you have in news now is trustworthiness because everyone can manipulate and Photoshop.

01:44:42.000 Now that audio Photoshop.

01:44:44.000 Oh my God.

01:44:45.000 It's like you have to just trust people.

01:44:47.000 I can't trust anybody though.

01:44:48.000 It's a real issue.

01:44:49.000 And an issue with the left being so hyperbolic, it's like when Trump was first elected, I was like, oh, this sucks.

01:44:56.000 Trump's crazy.

01:44:57.000 And then I saw their reaction and I almost like triaged it.

01:45:01.000 I was like, wait a minute, what's crazier?

01:45:02.000 The guy that may like text a dictator is dick or like people like saying that democracy is bad.

01:45:10.000 And I'm like, this is a weird battle.

01:45:12.000 Well, it's certainly not the result that people wanted, right?

01:45:16.000 Like a lot of people.

01:45:17.000 And so having him there, they're super frustrated.

01:45:19.000 And all the things that they see happening, people are super frustrated.

01:45:23.000 And they don't know what to do.

01:45:25.000 And so the feeling is that you should somehow or another protest and riot.

01:45:29.000 And like the people that got in front of Trump Tower because of his reaction to Charlottesville, people are super upset at his reaction.

01:45:36.000 I think that was a big one when he said that, you know, that something about despicable acts and violence on all sides.

01:45:42.000 Yeah, see, that was crazy that he did that.

01:45:46.000 Whoa.

01:45:46.000 I mean, that's like, okay.

01:45:48.000 One, you have people that are fighting and whoever side you're on, okay?

01:45:52.000 Whether you're the side that wants to keep the statue up and you want white people to get their respect, or whether you're on the side that thinks that you guys are a bunch of racists and call yourself white nationals all day, you're a bunch of Nazis, like whichever side it is. 0.59

01:46:04.000 I don't know which side you're on.

01:46:05.000 But as soon as someone goes driving a fucking car into all those people and you find out that guy is a Nazi or that guy is a Nazi sympathizer or whatever he is, a white nationalist, you got to go, look, this thinking is shit-brained.

01:46:20.000 Shit-brained.

01:46:21.000 That you think you could just drive a car into a group of people, including a girl.

01:46:25.000 You killed a girl with a car?

01:46:27.000 Yeah, it's who crosses the line in a violence.

01:46:29.000 I was a hacker.

01:46:30.000 It's just violence, random violence on terrorists.

01:46:34.000 No look in the eye, no interaction with them, stomping on the gas of a car.

01:46:38.000 It's one of the most cowardly acts you could ever do.

01:46:42.000 It's a horrifically terrorist activity.

01:46:45.000 It's horrifically terrorist in the way that it's like sheer terror that this could ever happen to you, that someone could just gun a car into a random group of people and slam into whoever didn't get out of the way.

01:46:58.000 And they think that that would be the thing to do.

01:47:00.000 Against America, like people from your own country just over ideology.

01:47:06.000 And yeah, that's unbelievable.

01:47:08.000 Whether or not you should take down a statue of a guy who was the commanding general in the losing army of a civil war, and you got that in front of a courthouse.

01:47:17.000 This is a little weird.

01:47:18.000 Right.

01:47:19.000 We should have this discussion.

01:47:20.000 We should at least have this discussion.

01:47:22.000 One problem is people aren't allowing discussions.

01:47:24.000 You get labeled racist, sexist, immediately the opposite.

01:47:28.000 You get labeled a Nazi if you even think, like from a historical point of view, like, hey, we should respect that this statue is a part of our culture and our history.

01:47:36.000 We don't embrace the ideals of the Confederate Army.

01:47:40.000 We're not trying to bring back slavery.

01:47:41.000 We're not racists.

01:47:43.000 We just think that there's a unique and interesting history of the South.

01:47:47.000 As unfortunate as it is that it's all connected to slavery, you know, this is not entirely what this guy represents to us.

01:47:54.000 Like, if that's the argument you're making, okay.

01:47:57.000 Well, then we should probably have some sort of Confederate Army Museum, you know, where people can go and just observe like the strangeness of it all.

01:48:04.000 Because it is strange.

01:48:05.000 Whether or not you're on the north or the south, it's strange that in 1865, people were shooting each other.

01:48:12.000 And the only difference was like they were cross a line, the Mason-Dixon brother.

01:48:18.000 Crazy.

01:48:19.000 And that just happened, right?

01:48:20.000 Just a couple hundred years ago.

01:48:21.000 Yeah, not that long ago.

01:48:22.000 They lost 800,000 people.

01:48:24.000 And only 3% of people owned slaves in the South.

01:48:26.000 So think about how many casualties were like, what the fuck?

01:48:30.000 The whole thing is insane.

01:48:31.000 And all the immigrants in the North, just right off the boat, Italy, Ireland, just grab a gun, go die. 1.00

01:48:38.000 Fuck, man.

01:48:40.000 Just stop and think about how insane that is.

01:48:43.000 And there should be some way that we address this in these areas.

01:48:48.000 I don't think it's a statue of Robert E. Lee in front of some important federal building or state building.

01:48:55.000 I think you should take all that stuff and bring it someplace where you have like a museum or an area where you have where people can go and you have experts that give tours of this and explain, put it all in context, explain who this guy was.

01:49:10.000 Have like a tour that people do.

01:49:11.000 That's an awesome idea.

01:49:13.000 Massively educational.

01:49:14.000 And it doesn't, you know, look, nobody today was a part of the fucking Confederate Army, okay?

01:49:20.000 If you're a 30-year-old guy today, you were not a part of that, okay?

01:49:24.000 You're a human being that lives in America.

01:49:26.000 You're not responsible for the sins of your ancestors, nor are you obligated to continue the same ridiculous ideas that maybe you were raised with or other people were raised with too.

01:49:36.000 It's not smart.

01:49:37.000 We're supposed to be all in this together.

01:49:39.000 If we all got attacked by whether it's some invading army or fucking aliens from outer space, I mean, that was like a famous Ronald Reagan quote about how quickly we would forget about our differences between us and Russia if we were attacked by an alien force from outside this planet.

01:49:56.000 So true.

01:49:57.000 And even just the concept of reminiscing is new.

01:50:00.000 Like I do a song, Summer of 1869.

01:50:04.000 Like just to put in perspective how good we have it now.

01:50:07.000 And we just should be celebrating every day.

01:50:07.000 Oh, yeah.

01:50:09.000 Like, holy shit.

01:50:10.000 You go into any drugstore, this could have killed kings.

01:50:13.000 It's a dollar.

01:50:14.000 But like, we just, myself included, I can't do that.

01:50:14.000 Yeah.

01:50:17.000 I just think relatively to what I've seen in my life.

01:50:20.000 But like, if you think about the summer of 1869, like people are dying of like Spanish flu and shit.

01:50:27.000 Like crazy.

01:50:28.000 It's a hundred mile ride to get butter.

01:50:32.000 I mean, and that's like modern times.

01:50:34.000 You know, I mean, think about back when the only reason why we're here is because people had to breed from the time we weren't people.

01:50:42.000 They had to keep from the time we were some sort of, that's if you believe in all that liberal bullshit about evolution, which is mostly just a plot concocted by the Jews. 0.97

01:50:53.000 But if you do pay attention to evolution, we came from some sort of a lower hominid and we evolved over time.

01:51:00.000 We kept improving through natural selection, all sorts of different factors and mutations.

01:51:06.000 We improved and became what we are today.

01:51:09.000 Well, that means we bred back when we were almost like fish people, right?

01:51:15.000 We kept going through this whole thing.

01:51:16.000 Yeah.

01:51:17.000 What we are today, the only reason why anybody ever got better than those people that had to walk 10 miles for butter, because they were like, fuck walking 10 miles for butter.

01:51:26.000 We've got to figure this out better.

01:51:28.000 And so no one's ever happy.

01:51:29.000 No one's ever happy with the current state of affairs.

01:51:31.000 Because you're like, why am I still walking?

01:51:32.000 Where's my fucking flying car?

01:51:34.000 Where's my teleporter?

01:51:35.000 What, I can't go to Mars right now?

01:51:37.000 But I can't go to Mars right now.

01:51:38.000 And that's the gene that passed.

01:51:39.000 Like, I was trying to explain to some buddies in the UK because I do stamp their lie.

01:51:43.000 I'm like, Americans are a little fucking crazy because we were the dudes who agreed to come here.

01:51:48.000 You know, like, if you're going to do a genetic just cut and it's like, okay, you're probably going to die, but there's golden pussy. 0.99

01:51:55.000 It's like one out of 200 people is like, all right.

01:51:57.000 And then they settled America. 0.92

01:51:59.000 Those guys need a hug.

01:52:00.000 They're insane.

01:52:01.000 And then that's settled America. 0.76

01:52:03.000 And then that's why it's like some of us are just so wacky.

01:52:05.000 Like people aren't even drinking water.

01:52:07.000 Right.

01:52:07.000 Like they're just hammered all the time trying to make big decisions about slavery.

01:52:13.000 It just sounds terrible, man.

01:52:14.000 It's so hard.

01:52:15.000 And that's the other thing when it comes to like racism.

01:52:18.000 Racism is horrible.

01:52:19.000 And it's horrible today.

01:52:20.000 Right.

01:52:21.000 But I think it's better than it.

01:52:23.000 I saw a post by Killer Mike, who I think's a very cool dude.

01:52:27.000 I want to have him on eventually.

01:52:28.000 I like that guy.

01:52:29.000 Seems like he's fun.

01:52:30.000 And he had a post on his Instagram about saying America is exactly the same.

01:52:34.000 And it was essentially saying you should be armed.

01:52:37.000 He was saying anybody who tells you you shouldn't be armed and be trained in how to use a firearm is crazy.

01:52:44.000 Or they're some sort of an agent of the state.

01:52:45.000 I was like, whoa, Killer Mike's going deep.

01:52:48.000 Go on board.

01:52:49.000 Yeah.

01:52:50.000 Well, but I think it is different.

01:52:52.000 I think it is different from 1963.

01:52:55.000 I really do.

01:52:56.000 I really think it's a lot better than it was in the 60s.

01:52:58.000 I think it still sucks in some spots, though.

01:53:01.000 And I think emotion, like events like this, as horrific as they are, they're good for a lot of people that live in places outside of there where they didn't know.

01:53:11.000 You get caught in the pattern of whatever your environment is.

01:53:15.000 And if you're in an environment of stagnant ancient racism that goes back to the slave days and goes back to pre-Civil War, and then it's like this same area, new ideas are slowly making their way in.

01:53:27.000 Because it's not like a lot of influx of new people moving into these places either.

01:53:32.000 It's people having kids and the kids maybe learn a little bit at school.

01:53:35.000 And it's a slow process of getting out the shitty ideas.

01:53:39.000 It's like your bit about the Middle East are the townies of the world.

01:53:42.000 It's so true. 0.84

01:53:43.000 It's like just the people that don't leave.

01:53:46.000 Well, it's Iraq in specific because Iraq is Sumer, which is where the oldest known civilization is.

01:53:50.000 So the reason why it's so fucked over there that they really are like the townies of the world.

01:53:55.000 And like tribalism, like you go to UK and it's like Catholic, Protestant, and they don't give a shit about, right?

01:54:00.000 They don't have the same history as us.

01:54:02.000 Right.

01:54:02.000 And they're like, I heard a great Irish joke that was, are you Catholic or Protestant?

01:54:06.000 And a guy goes, I'm atheist.

01:54:07.000 And the other guy goes, which one don't you believe in?

01:54:11.000 Or it's like, are you us or them?

01:54:13.000 And like, you can just split it up based on counties in England.

01:54:16.000 And here it's skin.

01:54:17.000 Yeah, dude, when I was in Ireland, I was in Northern Ireland as well.

01:54:21.000 I went to Belfast once.

01:54:22.000 And there was a bunch of people that were there that were there, you know, guys that were in their late 40s and 50s that were telling me about back in the day with the bombings with the IRA.

01:54:35.000 And they were explaining to me some horrific things that were done to people there.

01:54:39.000 I mean, these are Irish people going after other Irish people, right? 1.00

01:54:44.000 And the cop cars there are fully armored like war vehicles.

01:54:49.000 Like, I've never seen anything like it.

01:54:51.000 In all the places that I've been, I've never seen anything like it.

01:54:53.000 Where the cop cars are covered with like steel plates, like steel mesh on the front, steel plates and battery ramps.

01:55:00.000 I was like, what the fuck is this?

01:55:02.000 They're like, oh, it's bomb proof.

01:55:03.000 I was like, what?

01:55:04.000 It can get a lot worse, man.

01:55:07.000 This is Northern Ireland, and I'm talking about, shit, I want to say like 2006, something like that.

01:55:13.000 Somewhere around then, I was there.

01:55:15.000 And I was like, holy shit.

01:55:18.000 Yeah, Dan Carlin was talking about 1968, there was like 40,000 bombings.

01:55:23.000 Yeah.

01:55:23.000 Like something that I had to look up.

01:55:25.000 I probably got that wrong, but it was like the weatherman and all these like homegrown, like shit can get bad. 1.00

01:55:32.000 There used to be machine guns on the White House.

01:55:34.000 Dude.

01:55:34.000 Shit can get bad.

01:55:35.000 It's only been really good for like a short amount of time.

01:55:40.000 That's why I value it so much.

01:55:42.000 Yeah, but it's hard for us to have a perspective of how bad it used to be, you know?

01:55:47.000 Have you ever seen that section of France?

01:55:50.000 France?

01:55:51.000 That's how you know I'm American.

01:55:52.000 And France.

01:55:53.000 If I said France, I'd be an asshole.

01:55:55.000 It's weird.

01:55:55.000 It's a tricky little fucking road to navigate.

01:55:58.000 It's like Burrito is the same way.

01:56:00.000 Have you seen that area where it's like essentially no man's land?

01:56:05.000 You can't go into it because there's so much unexploded ordnance that literally there's so much toxic shit from these bombs that there's an area the size of Paris that you can't go to.

01:56:18.000 That's a monumental thing.

01:56:19.000 They have it like fucking fenced off.

01:56:21.000 You can't go in there.

01:56:22.000 And they keep pulling shit out of there and like people collect them.

01:56:25.000 You know, they have like, they've rescued them.

01:56:28.000 I mean, giant fucking bullets and missiles and shit.

01:56:32.000 Same with Eastern Front and Russia.

01:56:32.000 That was recent.

01:56:34.000 Like the Ghost of the Oster Front, that hardcore history series.

01:56:37.000 Like just the bone fields.

01:56:39.000 Oh.

01:56:39.000 Where you're like things, it's right out of a Pink Floyd video.

01:56:42.000 Where you're like, all right, so I have a problem with pronouns, but it's like, you know what I'm saying?

01:56:50.000 Like there's just nothing I use.

01:56:52.000 I'll fucking fight to the death for this.

01:56:55.000 If you're a really like smooth transition transgender person, it's absolutely no issue because no one can tell.

01:57:03.000 If you're like Thai people, you slide right in, nobody gives a shit. 1.00

01:57:07.000 Slip in.

01:57:08.000 Becomes an issue when it's not obvious.

01:57:14.000 Yeah, it's like the valley, the what valley with robot faces?

01:57:18.000 Oh, yeah, what is that called?

01:57:20.000 Uncanny Valley, where if it's like close but a little off.

01:57:22.000 Yeah, a little like something's wrong here.

01:57:25.000 Yeah, it's got no eyelashes.

01:57:27.000 It's got no eyelashes.

01:57:28.000 Yeah.

01:57:28.000 It's a simulation.

01:57:30.000 Like when my piano teacher got a sex change, like no one really cared as long as he still matched the demo, like liking the bills and shit like that.

01:57:39.000 No one cares.

01:57:40.000 It's so highly published.

01:57:42.000 The thing is, why should you care?

01:57:43.000 Like do whatever you want to do.

01:57:45.000 But also, you know, like don't don't swing too hard the other direction either.

01:57:51.000 Exactly.

01:57:51.000 It's got to be, it's got to be in the middle.

01:57:53.000 It's got to be like you can't be, you don't get special treatment.

01:57:58.000 No, you're not going to be able to do that.

01:57:59.000 You're not going to be in class.

01:58:00.000 Yeah.

01:58:00.000 Well, it's not only that.

01:58:01.000 Like you don't, we don't pretend you're amazing and beautiful and incredible and a hero and such a hero and so brave.

01:58:09.000 Okay.

01:58:11.000 We should respect your choice and you should live in a world where you don't have to worry about people getting upset.

01:58:18.000 That's the real problem.

01:58:18.000 The real problem is not that it's this amazing thing to do.

01:58:22.000 The real problem is it should be able to be a 100% free choice that no one cares about and no one should fuck with you because you do it.

01:58:29.000 Like no one should hate you because of your choice.

01:58:32.000 The real problem is that people hate them because of their choice.

01:58:34.000 And then because of that, you want to say, I am not like those people.

01:58:37.000 I think you're the most special unicorn that's ever existed in the world and you're amazing and you're my hero.

01:58:43.000 You are my hero.

01:58:44.000 Fox is near the hat house.

01:58:45.000 Okay, okay, okay.

01:58:46.000 Maybe it's just, you know.

01:58:47.000 Yeah, and people are operating from fear too, where it's like they are starting to say like a six-year-old can choose their gender and then have hormones.

01:58:54.000 They don't go through puberty.

01:58:56.000 And that's when I think back to all those idiots that I would always disagree with where it's like, stay away from my kids, gay guy. 1.00

01:59:03.000 I'm like, gay guys don't give a fuck about your kids.

01:59:05.000 But then when you think like, oh my God, the state could enforce my six-year-old a sex change.

01:59:11.000 No, they can't do that.

01:59:11.000 You're like, that's a good thing.

01:59:12.000 They don't do that.

01:59:14.000 It has to be the parents, right?

01:59:15.000 The parents have to bring the kid somewhere. 0.93

01:59:17.000 But it's the question is, when is it old enough?

01:59:19.000 Like, is it okay when you're 18?

01:59:21.000 Man, I don't think you should.

01:59:23.000 The fucking frontal cortex doesn't even get fully formed until you're 25.

01:59:27.000 So like, what are you doing making big choices?

01:59:29.000 Like, if I had to go back and think about like some super important choices that I could have made when I was 18 and whether or not I'd have been rational.

01:59:35.000 Yeah.

01:59:36.000 Like I was essentially a monkey with a language.

01:59:39.000 Like I thought like a monkey.

01:59:41.000 I acted like a monkey.

01:59:43.000 There's no way I should have been ever responsible, especially something that could affect you for the rest of your life.

01:59:47.000 Like the idea with the way you're 18, you can get a tattoo.

01:59:49.000 Like, Jesus Christ.

01:59:51.000 This is like sterilizing.

01:59:54.000 And also like an industry can pop up.

01:59:55.000 Like my parents felt that way about circumcision.

01:59:58.000 Imagine like they were like, yeah, you guys can be circumcised and you turn 18 so you can decide on your own.

02:00:03.000 Well, that's how it should be.

02:00:04.000 Yeah.

02:00:04.000 It shouldn't even be, you know, like you should be able to do whatever you want to do when you can decide.

02:00:09.000 That cutting off your wean, part of your wean?

02:00:11.000 And you lose a lot of dicks this way, folks, okay?

02:00:13.000 People don't want to admit it, but there's a lot of infections.

02:00:15.000 People lose their dicks every year.

02:00:16.000 Babies lose their dicks because of this. 1.00

02:00:18.000 This is a fact.

02:00:19.000 It's not a lot in terms of like the actual numbers of people that are getting circumcised, but it's a handful.

02:00:25.000 Like, you want to take that chance?

02:00:26.000 Yeah, risk reward on that.

02:00:28.000 Fuck off.

02:00:28.000 You talk about propaganda saying that like, you know, you're always going to have infections and shit.

02:00:32.000 They were just trying to get an extra 500 bucks a clip. 0.79

02:00:34.000 How many babies do you think lose their penis every year from infection due to circumcision? 0.91

02:00:40.000 I say five.

02:00:41.000 In America, I say five.

02:00:43.000 What do you say?

02:00:44.000 Lose their dick because their dick got infected from clipping?

02:00:47.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:00:49.000 I'm going to say 11.

02:00:50.000 11.

02:00:51.000 11.

02:00:52.000 Okay.

02:00:52.000 Full dick loss.

02:00:53.000 Jamie's going to pull.

02:00:54.000 Well, any partial, even partial dick loss, cut off the tip of your dick.

02:00:58.000 That's how I'm saying.

02:00:58.000 Yeah.

02:00:58.000 That's just as fucked.

02:01:00.000 They're going to reconstruct the tip of your dick. 0.98

02:01:02.000 Yeah, I feel like my leaner's like, you know, I got like a warm.

02:01:06.000 They take your nose and they put it on the tip of your dick and they give you a rubber nose. 0.99

02:01:13.000 It's like, why is my nose, my dick is sniffling?

02:01:16.000 The kid can't even make a fucking choice for himself.

02:01:18.000 I know it's happened before, and one kid lost his penis in a circumcision accident, and so they tried to transition him to being a woman, and then he was suicidal, and they turned him back into a man, and then he wound up killing himself.

02:01:27.000 It turns out that's not all societal.

02:01:28.000 It was a famous case.

02:01:29.000 I forgot the name of the boy who...

02:01:34.000 Yeah, I forgot, though.

02:01:35.000 Yeah, I forgot, too.

02:01:37.000 Which book was that?

02:01:38.000 I can't remember.

02:01:39.000 It was like a kid named Gary or something.

02:01:41.000 I have no voice.

02:01:42.000 I have a new weed.

02:01:44.000 It says one in 200.

02:01:46.000 One in 200.

02:01:47.000 Whoa.

02:01:48.000 Have it.

02:01:50.000 Or real bad.

02:01:50.000 What?

02:01:52.000 Wound infection serious is what it says.

02:01:55.000 One in 200.

02:01:56.000 Okay, but how many of them lose their dicks? 1.00

02:01:58.000 They didn't do studies on those.

02:02:00.000 I saw a study once that said that more teenagers than ever are engaging in anal sex.

02:02:07.000 And I thought about that.

02:02:08.000 I was like, who the fuck is doing that science?

02:02:10.000 Like, what scientists is sitting around like, hmm, what should I study?

02:02:13.000 Global warming, asteroidal impacts.

02:02:16.000 How many of these kids are butt fucking? 1.00

02:02:16.000 No. 1.00

02:02:18.000 I need to get those butt fuck numbers. 1.00

02:02:20.000 I need to get the numbers.

02:02:21.000 And who's going to be honest?

02:02:22.000 It's like a Trump poll before the election.

02:02:24.000 Right.

02:02:25.000 It's true.

02:02:25.000 It's like true.

02:02:27.000 It's like, who's going to be like, yeah, I've been butt fucking.

02:02:30.000 There's a lot of butt fucking. 1.00

02:02:32.000 It's my favorite thing.

02:02:33.000 Well, I think porn changed the game for all that shit.

02:02:35.000 Like, no one was.

02:02:36.000 Yeah, it did, for sure.

02:02:38.000 You know, everyone's pretty high level going into it now.

02:02:41.000 Yeah.

02:02:42.000 Yeah, it's a total different experience.

02:02:44.000 It's too many people watching.

02:02:45.000 Too many people fuck now.

02:02:46.000 It's not the same experience.

02:02:47.000 It's freaking people out.

02:02:49.000 I had a similar experience to you with the playbook in the woods.

02:02:49.000 It is.

02:02:53.000 We called it Spank Mountain.

02:02:55.000 Dude, that's where they were.

02:02:55.000 Everybody did.

02:02:56.000 Everybody found them in the woods, man.

02:02:58.000 Either that or you found them in your friend's dad's garage or something like that.

02:03:02.000 Look at some magazines tucked in a corner in some fucking fire hazard situation.

02:03:07.000 Dude, my buddy once traded a Playboy for a gun magazine saying there was more nudes in it, and I did it.

02:03:13.000 And I looked through every fucking page, and he was just looking at playbooks.

02:03:17.000 I'm like, are you sure?

02:03:19.000 Like, I was that naive.

02:03:20.000 Oh, that's so funny.

02:03:22.000 Yeah, because it's like they couldn't exit the browser, so they would have to like physically put it in the woods when they were disgusted at what they whacked to.

02:03:29.000 When I was 20, One of my friends found, got a hold of one of those videos of women having sex with animals. 0.90

02:03:36.000 It was like Barnyard Betty or something like that.

02:03:38.000 Right.

02:03:39.000 And it was a VHS tapes, real scratchy, fucked up copy of a copy of a copy VHS.

02:03:44.000 Shame dripping with shame.

02:03:46.000 Oh, so weird, man.

02:03:48.000 So weird.

02:03:48.000 I remember all of us, you know, just becoming men, you know, 20 years old, sitting there watching it over, I think it was someone's dad's, you know, someone's parents' house watching this fucking video going, what are we even seeing here?

02:04:01.000 It was crazy.

02:04:02.000 My brother mislabeled WWE's Dallas RoboCop.

02:04:06.000 And I was like, RoboCop.

02:04:07.000 And I just watched people fuck for like an hour.

02:04:10.000 And I was like, what, what the?

02:04:12.000 Like, it was so intense.

02:04:14.000 I still remember those feelings of being like, it wasn't like arousal.

02:04:18.000 It was like arousal plus fear plus just confusion.

02:04:22.000 Confusion, yeah.

02:04:23.000 Like white stuff coming out of a wiener.

02:04:25.000 I was like, what the fuck is this?

02:04:27.000 Also, like, you'd never really seen people fuck before.

02:04:30.000 It's just like, whoa.

02:04:32.000 That's how they do it?

02:04:33.000 Yeah, I thought it was like.

02:04:34.000 Watch it go in and watch them kiss teaser flopping. 0.71

02:04:37.000 Like, whoo, this is crazy.

02:04:39.000 And that was before fake tits, right? 0.99

02:04:41.000 A lot of women didn't have, they had natural breasts back then. 1.00

02:04:45.000 Yeah.

02:04:45.000 And they had bush, too.

02:04:46.000 Yeah, they had bush.

02:04:47.000 They had asshole hair as well.

02:04:48.000 Chaos down there.

02:04:50.000 That's why everything's a balance.

02:04:51.000 Chaos and order, man.

02:04:52.000 Well, as soon as people started looking at porn, they started, oh, we can fix this.

02:04:56.000 We can clean this up.

02:04:57.000 We need to hack this off, put this over there.

02:05:00.000 We need to make these bigger.

02:05:02.000 Yeah, that is an efficiency guy.

02:05:04.000 It's like, all right, guys, we're going to get the tits bigger. 1.00

02:05:06.000 We're going to clean that up.

02:05:06.000 We're going to sell some products.

02:05:08.000 Yeah, we brought in a cleaner. 1.00

02:05:09.000 A guy who comes in like Alec Baldwin and Glenn Gary Gun Ross.

02:05:13.000 Totally.

02:05:14.000 He's like, it's about trim, trim, trim.

02:05:17.000 Yeah.

02:05:18.000 Yeah.

02:05:19.000 They changed the whole game.

02:05:20.000 They did.

02:05:21.000 Kids today, I bet they have way more sex too with like Tinder and all those things.

02:05:25.000 All those ways they can interact with each other, like dating apps and shit.

02:05:28.000 See, I want to know, or maybe they're bored of it.

02:05:31.000 Like it's so easy that they can't.

02:05:32.000 I think they're fucking up a storm.

02:05:34.000 Really?

02:05:34.000 But is it like apathetic?

02:05:35.000 Like they didn't earn it?

02:05:36.000 It's like a trust fund versus earning it?

02:05:38.000 Oh, for sure.

02:05:38.000 Yeah, it's not like us.

02:05:40.000 Like we had to go hunt for it.

02:05:41.000 Hunt.

02:05:42.000 Yeah, you had to get up early.

02:05:43.000 You know, you had to make your coffee by the firelight.

02:05:45.000 I was a paperboy, man.

02:05:48.000 I was saving money, buying stocks.

02:05:51.000 It's not like today.

02:05:52.000 These kids just swipe right and fuck. 1.00

02:05:54.000 That's it.

02:05:54.000 There's no safety.

02:05:55.000 They just show up places, man.

02:05:56.000 And there's cure for almost every disease now.

02:05:58.000 It's also an issue.

02:05:59.000 You know, they don't even have to worry about warts anymore.

02:06:01.000 They just get shot up with that vaccine.

02:06:03.000 Does that work?

02:06:04.000 Doesn't that fuck girls up, though? 1.00

02:06:06.000 I think it's bad for girls.

02:06:07.000 The vaccine or the virtual.

02:06:08.000 The wart vaccine.

02:06:10.000 Really?

02:06:10.000 But I guess it's probably like the circumcision thing.

02:06:12.000 It's like one out of 200.

02:06:14.000 Probably like a similar number.

02:06:16.000 Nothing's perfect, man.

02:06:18.000 That's a problem.

02:06:19.000 It's all chaos and order, man.

02:06:20.000 It's just a battle.

02:06:21.000 Exactly.

02:06:22.000 Chaos and order, and there's no order.

02:06:24.000 It's all chaos.

02:06:25.000 It's like there's order for moments.

02:06:27.000 There's attempted order, yeah.

02:06:28.000 And it's only in like brief little areas, brief little patches of time and small areas.

02:06:34.000 Yeah, it's like the Joker and Batman.

02:06:35.000 Like the Joker's, like the progressive, where it's like, Zen, Zern.

02:06:38.000 And he's like, you're fucking confusing me.

02:06:40.000 You know, it's like order and chaos back.

02:06:41.000 I'm a big Batman fan.

02:06:42.000 You know, like Batman?

02:06:43.000 I checked out when Ben Affleck became Batman.

02:06:45.000 I never watched that one.

02:06:46.000 I'm good.

02:06:47.000 I've always hated that guy.

02:06:48.000 I'm good.

02:06:48.000 I don't hate the guy.

02:06:49.000 I don't know him.

02:06:50.000 Hate's a strong word, but I've always instinctively not liked him.

02:06:54.000 He seems like the type of guy that would work out and then pretend he worked out harder than he did.

02:06:58.000 You know what I'm talking about?

02:06:59.000 Yeah, I know that guy.

02:07:00.000 You know that guy?

02:07:01.000 Like, we worked out fucking hard today.

02:07:03.000 I'm like, did you really?

02:07:05.000 He's like, I did 10 shrugs.

02:07:07.000 I did a farmer's walk with 20s.

02:07:08.000 No disrespect to him.

02:07:09.000 He's a great actor.

02:07:10.000 He's been awesome in a lot of movies.

02:07:12.000 I like the guy.

02:07:13.000 But as Batman, I'm like, you just had Christian Bale, who looked like a real Batman.

02:07:17.000 He was jacked, shredded.

02:07:19.000 I believed him.

02:07:21.000 I believe he's out there fighting crime.

02:07:23.000 I think Goodwill Hunting was so good, it made me not like him.

02:07:27.000 I can't explain it.

02:07:28.000 There's something about me I don't like.

02:07:30.000 It's got to be something about me.

02:07:31.000 You've established that.

02:07:32.000 He was really good in that recent movie.

02:07:34.000 What's that recent movie?

02:07:36.000 The girl?

02:07:37.000 No, no, not that one.

02:07:38.000 Where the girl was a murderer.

02:07:41.000 What the fuck's that called?

02:07:43.000 Gone Girl. 0.70

02:07:44.000 Woo! 0.99

02:07:44.000 Gone Girl. 0.99

02:07:45.000 He was good in that.

02:07:45.000 That was a great movie.

02:07:47.000 He was good in that.

02:07:48.000 I found something I didn't know.

02:07:49.000 What did you find out?

02:07:50.000 He did in Batman.

02:07:52.000 I brought this up to you as a joke where he's shown his abs in the movies he's directing.

02:07:56.000 Right.

02:07:57.000 Or CGI abs.

02:07:58.000 Oh, how dare he do that?

02:07:59.000 That's the guy that didn't work out as well.

02:08:02.000 How can you tell?

02:08:03.000 You can see the lines here?

02:08:04.000 You don't see him here.

02:08:05.000 These are side-by-side.

02:08:06.000 I don't see anything on the right-hand side.

02:08:08.000 I'll try to get it in motion here.

02:08:11.000 Now, side by side.

02:08:15.000 Well, you can see a six-pack here that show him again at the beginning.

02:08:19.000 Okay, here's Ben Affleck without CGI abs.

02:08:22.000 Let's see.

02:08:25.000 I'm not seeing shit.

02:08:27.000 It's a really quick cut.

02:08:28.000 Here's the CGI abs.

02:08:31.000 It's a defined six-pack.

02:08:32.000 This seems like Hayton to.

02:08:35.000 Here's what the problem with this is.

02:08:37.000 In one view, you're not going to have abs because the guy's core wasn't engaged.

02:08:43.000 In the other view, the guy's doing a chin-up and his core is engaged.

02:08:46.000 You fucking nerds don't even know what abs are. 1.00

02:08:49.000 So shut your mouth unless you're willing to earn those abs.

02:08:53.000 To engage the core.

02:08:55.000 No more sugar.

02:08:56.000 He looked thin enough and fit enough that I could imagine him having that six-pack.

02:09:00.000 I don't think it's CGI abs.

02:09:01.000 And good for him if it is.

02:09:03.000 People love to be hating.

02:09:04.000 They love to be hating.

02:09:05.000 Hating it.

02:09:06.000 Well, it's ever since 300, man.

02:09:08.000 Ever been since everybody's like, yo, that Gerard guy is fucking jacked.

02:09:11.000 Yeah, bro.

02:09:13.000 Fucking jacked.

02:09:14.000 He was the most jacked guy that ever lived.

02:09:15.000 He's like a fucking, he's like Frank Zayn when he was competing in Arnold Classic, right?

02:09:20.000 Like Fight Club.

02:09:21.000 Remember Fight Club?

02:09:22.000 Like, that was really ripped.

02:09:24.000 Well, that was Brad Pitt was super ripped back then.

02:09:26.000 But that was 100% real.

02:09:27.000 Like, he wasn't, there was no CGI back then.

02:09:29.000 They weren't.

02:09:30.000 That was real shit.

02:09:31.000 I don't think they could do that back then, could they?

02:09:33.000 How long ago was Fight Club?

02:09:35.000 99-ish, 97, 98.

02:09:37.000 Yeah, they couldn't really do like CGI on bodies like that.

02:09:40.000 Oh, so Butler was CGI abs?

02:09:44.000 Interesting.

02:09:44.000 Yes.

02:09:45.000 Airbrush too, a little bit like that.

02:09:46.000 Yeah, they just painted them.

02:09:48.000 They basically painted the shit out of their whole body.

02:09:50.000 I'd go with that, though, if given the option.

02:09:52.000 If someone's like, we got a paint guy, I'm like, yeah.

02:09:55.000 The movie, though, I mean, kind of demanded it because the movie was this fantastic visual masterpiece where I think you would have been thrown off if people had regular bodies.

02:10:06.000 Like, I 100% support it in that movie because, like, Xerxes was like 10 feet tall, remember, like the Persian king?

02:10:14.000 Yeah.

02:10:15.000 And then all the other people, like, everyone was totally jacked.

02:10:19.000 It was perfect because it was like very much like one of those illustrated books, like a comic, a super high-end graphic novel come to life.

02:10:28.000 It was perfect.

02:10:29.000 Yeah, because if everyone looked normal, it would just be like sad.

02:10:29.000 I thought it was great.

02:10:32.000 Just 300 guys dying.

02:10:34.000 Even if they were in shape.

02:10:35.000 If they looked like real people that are in shape.

02:10:37.000 You know, some people have different body types.

02:10:39.000 Some people just, you don't see them, even if they're like Fedor.

02:10:42.000 You don't see him with abs, even though he's like a big, powerful, strong guy.

02:10:46.000 That's the reality of humans.

02:10:48.000 There's a bunch of different kinds of body types. 1.00

02:10:49.000 Triggered.

02:10:50.000 It was like archetypal.

02:10:51.000 They wanted to make these like comic beautifully perfect men.

02:10:54.000 They nailed it.

02:10:55.000 They did.

02:10:55.000 That movie is awesome.

02:10:56.000 That movie is the shit.

02:10:58.000 I never saw the second one.

02:10:59.000 Me neither.

02:10:59.000 Once Gerard's dead, I'm like, why am I watching this?

02:11:01.000 The Rise of the Dead.

02:11:03.000 You gotta go with Gerard.

02:11:03.000 Yeah.

02:11:03.000 Now that's...

02:11:04.000 Yeah.

02:11:04.000 You can't fucking...

02:11:07.000 Don't make a, you know, 200 before they got the last 100.

02:11:11.000 Yeah, I mean, could you have like a bunch of adventures this guy had before he got killed?

02:11:16.000 Yes.

02:11:16.000 Yeah, the child just fighting that cat in the fucking cave.

02:11:19.000 Yeah, and when he gets cocky and he wants too much money, you go with him as a teenager.

02:11:23.000 You get a new guy.

02:11:24.000 Yeah, this is him.

02:11:27.000 You get some young dude.

02:11:28.000 Yeah.

02:11:28.000 Some young boy band type character.

02:11:30.000 But that has to be the end.

02:11:32.000 Yes.

02:11:33.000 Going past that, it's just Justin Bieber stars in it.

02:11:35.000 He's 20 years old.

02:11:36.000 He can get in there.

02:11:37.000 They give him some fucking fake abs.

02:11:38.000 Get the demo in there.

02:11:39.000 Imagine how much pussy Justin Bieber would get if he did that. 1.00

02:11:42.000 Like, it would be unmanageable.

02:11:43.000 He already is probably not unlimited, right?

02:11:46.000 What is this, Jimmy?

02:11:46.000 So a simulation of what that would have looked like with the 300 guys versus 20,000.

02:11:51.000 So this really did happen.

02:11:52.000 There really was 300 guys.

02:11:54.000 Supposedly.

02:11:55.000 A lot of hate crimes happening right there.

02:11:57.000 300 guys and how many thousand Persian?

02:11:59.000 20,000.

02:12:00.000 20,000 Persian soldiers.

02:12:01.000 Well, that's not right.

02:12:02.000 That doesn't look right.

02:12:04.000 That doesn't look like a good move, guys.

02:12:06.000 Oh, my God.

02:12:06.000 That's so insane.

02:12:07.000 That's why they called them immortals, right? 1.00

02:12:08.000 Because they just kept coming back.

02:12:09.000 There were so many of them.

02:12:11.000 You would have to be so good to beat all their asses.

02:12:14.000 They're probably beating their own asses, waiting to get in on you.

02:12:17.000 You know how much of that is.

02:12:18.000 I mean, this is blowing my mind.

02:12:19.000 Listen to all those people.

02:12:22.000 It's like a fish concert.

02:12:25.000 It smells just as bad.

02:12:27.000 A lot of kind butt over there.

02:12:31.000 A lot of kind butt.

02:12:33.000 Look at that.

02:12:35.000 So insane.

02:12:36.000 Carlin does a good job of that one, the King of Kings series.

02:12:39.000 Yeah.

02:12:40.000 Dan Carlin does a great job on everything.

02:12:42.000 But this really is insane that this happened, that they really did try to hold off all these people.

02:12:48.000 Holy fuck.

02:12:50.000 What a sea of humans.

02:12:51.000 And it's not fair because they're fresh.

02:12:54.000 By the time they get to you, you're already beat down.

02:12:56.000 You fought, killed seven dudes already.

02:12:59.000 But now you have high ground just with bodies.

02:13:02.000 Yeah, a little bit.

02:13:03.000 How this relationship is.

02:13:06.000 This is just computer simulation.

02:13:07.000 Yeah, nobody knows.

02:13:08.000 Nobody has any idea.

02:13:09.000 See, that's how naive I am.

02:13:10.000 I'm literally just buying it.

02:13:11.000 Like, I'm like, holy shit, this literally happened, bro.

02:13:13.000 That's exactly it.

02:13:14.000 I had this super stonered idea once that one day they would come out with a computer that is so powerful that it calculates the position.

02:13:26.000 This would have to be dependent upon a bunch of other technologies that are new, like specifically the ability to monitor every single thing on Earth in high definition, and then put all that information to some crazy supercomputer.

02:13:38.000 So you look at every object that is in every position, wherever it is, and somehow or another they could figure out how everything got there.

02:13:47.000 And through some super powerful AI that hasn't even been invented yet, they would literally be able to recreate every single moment that happened that led to that happening right there.

02:13:58.000 Like you get the math and just go backwards.

02:14:00.000 Yeah, we realized at one point this is a super stoner idea that I don't think is real, folks.

02:14:05.000 You're so fucking stupid.

02:14:06.000 You don't understand how time works.

02:14:07.000 That's not what I mean.

02:14:08.000 But this is my super stoner idea was that they would figure out computers that are so impossibly powerful and they can calculate and extrapolate and do this crazy sort of, some sort of algorithm that figures out exactly how everything got to wherever it is.

02:14:27.000 And then you could recreate in some sort of visual form everything that's ever happened ever.

02:14:32.000 I think that's possible theoretically.

02:14:34.000 We're both so high.

02:14:35.000 We shouldn't be talking about this publicly.

02:14:38.000 Yeah, but it would be totally possible.

02:14:40.000 But we'll never get there if we keep hiring 50-50 genders. 1.00

02:14:44.000 I'm just kidding.

02:14:45.000 Oh, my God.

02:14:46.000 You're a misogynist.

02:14:47.000 I'm only kidding.

02:14:50.000 I saw a lot of people that said that guy was a misogynist.

02:14:53.000 It's like, that's crazy.

02:14:54.000 That's like calling everybody a Nazi.

02:14:56.000 You got to be careful because then you see a real Nazi and they're a different thing. 0.90

02:14:56.000 You can't do that. 0.90

02:15:02.000 It's like the issue that I have with 10-9 rounds in MMA.

02:15:06.000 Sometimes a 10-9-round dude gets the fuckbeat out of them.

02:15:08.000 And other times a 10-9 round, it could be either one.

02:15:12.000 It's not the same thing.

02:15:13.000 You got to have a new name for it.

02:15:15.000 And that's sort of how I feel.

02:15:16.000 It's a terrible explanation.

02:15:18.000 Terrible comparison, rather.

02:15:19.000 But that's how I think about people calling someone a misogynist.

02:15:21.000 Like, a misogynist is someone who hates women.

02:15:23.000 If someone writes a page and a half of different ideas of how you can encourage women to get into tech and so they would be more represented, that would, you know, like make it more interesting for them or ways to get them in. 0.97

02:15:37.000 That's not a misogynist.

02:15:38.000 It's the opposite of a misogynist.

02:15:40.000 I mean, just because someone doesn't toe the current lefty liberal line, it doesn't mean that you're a misogynist.

02:15:46.000 You've got to think about what this is saying.

02:15:48.000 No one's saying women can't do something. 0.96

02:15:50.000 No one's saying women are less qualified. 1.00

02:15:52.000 What he's saying is that women are more inclined to choose different things. 0.98

02:15:56.000 That's it.

02:15:57.000 And this is supported by science.

02:15:58.000 And it doesn't mean you hate women if you think that the reason why there is whatever the percentage is is 10% or 15% or 20% of women in tech.

02:16:08.000 If that's that way, just because 20% of the women who decide to go into college and decide to pursue a career are interested in it. 1.00

02:16:15.000 If it's any other reason, we need to examine it.

02:16:17.000 But if it's that reason, then we should just kind of accept it for what it is and try to make it easier for those women that work there. 1.00

02:16:22.000 I don't know how the fuck to do that.

02:16:23.000 I don't work in an office.

02:16:25.000 But I would imagine there's got to be ways.

02:16:28.000 I would imagine just treat people with respect.

02:16:31.000 Figure out a way to make that a priority in your office or a part of your business or the culture of your community.

02:16:38.000 Yeah, just focus on the individual, not the group.

02:16:40.000 Yeah, you can't, yeah, all girls and all boys, those things, it's like all white people. 1.00

02:16:44.000 That does not end well.

02:16:46.000 It doesn't end well.

02:16:47.000 It's not a good way to differentiate whether you like someone or not.

02:16:50.000 If it's all girl or all boy or all white or all black or all anything, you got to be open to possibilities.

02:16:57.000 Especially when you're not saying like, you know, I need a fucking large white power lifter. 0.87

02:17:02.000 Well, you got to go to Iceland.

02:17:03.000 You know, get yourself one of them Iceland dudes.

02:17:06.000 That's not being discriminatory.

02:17:07.000 It's like you got very specific needs.

02:17:08.000 Oh, yeah, those dudes, you got to go to the north.

02:17:11.000 I need a Norwegian.

02:17:12.000 You got to go to Norway.

02:17:12.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

02:17:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:17:14.000 You need a Ricola guy. 1.00

02:17:15.000 Yeah, you got to need one of those dudes that works at Diggery Doo. 1.00

02:17:18.000 Oh, you got to go to Australia.

02:17:19.000 Have you read Sports Gene by Epstein?

02:17:22.000 No, I haven't.

02:17:23.000 No, I haven't read that.

02:17:24.000 But there's like, when it comes to sports, it's so obvious.

02:17:27.000 Yeah.

02:17:28.000 Where it's like there's one area of Kenya where like all the winners of every marathon come from.

02:17:33.000 But on the individual basis, it doesn't mean anything.

02:17:37.000 You know, like Cameron Haynes would beat 99.9999% of black people in long distance running. 0.99

02:17:44.000 You'd have to get really long.

02:17:46.000 You get 150 miles.

02:17:47.000 You see those little skinny African dudes that win marathons, those guys are beasts. 1.00

02:17:51.000 You cannot fuck with those guys.

02:17:53.000 When it comes to running a marathon, those skinny dudes, like that is the build for marathons, and Cam's never going to beat those guys.

02:18:01.000 But you put them on a mountain where they got to go up like 9,000 feet of elevation and it's a three-day run.

02:18:07.000 He leaves all those motherfuckers in the dirt because it's a different build.

02:18:10.000 Like his build is a muscle build too.

02:18:12.000 Like he's a built guy who does endurance sports.

02:18:15.000 And that's like a lot of the mountain runners.

02:18:17.000 Like a lot of the people that do those crazy, like the Bigfoot 200, there's a massive amount of like travel and elevation up and down.

02:18:25.000 You have to be strong.

02:18:26.000 It's not just flat ground.

02:18:28.000 And if you're like a really good flat ground runner, it's a totally different build.

02:18:31.000 They're real skinny.

02:18:32.000 And for them, it's just about efficiency and motion and just mad cardio.

02:18:36.000 Yeah, and it's also like oxygen consumption.

02:18:39.000 That's why warm, wet air, wide nostrils, you crush.

02:18:45.000 But like if you're in, you know, where Kent, where he's racing with dry, cold air, you need a lot more surface area.

02:18:50.000 That's why you have these tight noses.

02:18:52.000 And saying something like that, someone say, oh, Russis, you're like, no, that's just a fact.

02:18:56.000 You know, it's like stupid.

02:18:59.000 Is it racist to say that black guys have big dicks?

02:19:02.000 I don't even know anymore.

02:19:04.000 It can't be racist if it's good.

02:19:05.000 Right?

02:19:07.000 Isn't that the question?

02:19:08.000 That has been a question that has been...

02:19:12.000 Maybe it's triggering to guys who have regular sized dicks.

02:19:12.000 Maybe.

02:19:15.000 That's who suffer.

02:19:16.000 Where girls are psyched, like, finally got me a black one. 1.00

02:19:19.000 Woo, can't wait for this ride.

02:19:21.000 And then it's like, you ever take that goofy ride at Disney?

02:19:24.000 It's like, oh, God.

02:19:25.000 You know, you have kids.

02:19:26.000 If you take them to Disney, there's like a one roller coaster.

02:19:28.000 It's like goofy roller coaster.

02:19:29.000 Like, like, you're ready for that fucking California screaming when you go upside down and yeah.

02:19:36.000 It doesn't happen.

02:19:37.000 Yeah, it just hurts you.

02:19:38.000 Like, it's like an Asian with a hammer where it's like, oh, he's a really good personality. 0.97

02:19:42.000 Oh, my God.

02:19:43.000 He has a monster in his pants.

02:19:44.000 Like, he's just constantly breaking stereotypes in a good way.

02:19:48.000 It's like the opposite for me with basketball.

02:19:48.000 Yeah.

02:19:50.000 Like, first pick, suck.

02:19:52.000 Everyone's like, big man.

02:19:53.000 I'm like, don't do it.

02:19:54.000 No, it's a bad call.

02:19:56.000 I'm like, just don't do that.

02:19:58.000 Constant letdown.

02:20:00.000 But when you got like the 5-2 Mugsy Bogues guy, it's like, he's the greatest.

02:20:03.000 And I'm just a letdown.

02:20:05.000 Yeah, it's, you know, there's a bunch of people that are going to be better at things than you, whether it's better at math or it's better at music or it's better at whatever the fuck it is.

02:20:16.000 And there's going to be a bunch of people of all sorts of genders that are better than you at it and all sorts of ethnicities and all.

02:20:22.000 They come from all sorts of different parts of the planet.

02:20:24.000 And it's just, it's not fair.

02:20:27.000 There's no fair involved.

02:20:29.000 No fair.

02:20:29.000 It's not, I know it sucks.

02:20:31.000 I know it feels weird, but there's no fair involved in European Jews winning more Nobel Prizes than anybody. 0.90

02:20:39.000 There's no fair involved in that.

02:20:40.000 It's like, what are they doing?

02:20:42.000 Like, how fucking smart are they?

02:20:43.000 Like, what's going on here?

02:20:45.000 Like, this is a crazy group of smart people, right?

02:20:47.000 It's crazy smart.

02:20:48.000 Also, culture.

02:20:49.000 You know, that's why I'm not like Black, Redneck, White Liberals, one of my favorite books by Thomas Sowell.

02:20:54.000 And like, culture is everything, you know?

02:20:58.000 And a lot of it has to do with whether or not you herded animals or had a farm.

02:21:01.000 And that's the size of government you want.

02:21:03.000 Or it's like, it's the same with like certain Chinese people can count so well and they're so good at math because they just, it's one, two, three, four, five, and then 10, 1, 10, 2, 10, 3. 0.97

02:21:13.000 So they never had 13, 14, 15 that set us back a month and that like starts snowballing.

02:21:19.000 You know, same with rice farming.

02:21:22.000 It's all about efficiency because it's year-round and you have like a little amount of land and then like, so that makes you a little more efficient as a culture.

02:21:30.000 And that's not racial.

02:21:31.000 It just means like you guys value different shit.

02:21:34.000 Yeah, I mean, you got to wonder how much of what a person is in 2017, how much of it has to do with all sorts of factors and influences that are completely out of your control.

02:21:47.000 And if a lot of it, I'm inclined to believe it's most, almost all of it, has to do with things that are out of your control.

02:21:54.000 Like, why would you think that would be a good idea to be aligned with a group of one people that have one thing in common?

02:22:04.000 Like, you're white. 0.97

02:22:05.000 Yeah.

02:22:06.000 Or you're black. 0.89

02:22:07.000 Or whatever the fuck you are.

02:22:10.000 It's a holdover from ancient times when we were tribal and we were worried about being invaded.

02:22:16.000 And everybody's thinking, well, they are invading.

02:22:18.000 They are invading.

02:22:19.000 They're taking away our culture.

02:22:20.000 They're taking away our history.

02:22:22.000 Like, just fucking relax.

02:22:24.000 All right.

02:22:25.000 No one's taking away shit.

02:22:26.000 You can't take away history, first of all.

02:22:28.000 It's not like people are going to forget.

02:22:30.000 And second of all, like, you're not here for very long, man.

02:22:34.000 This is a short time.

02:22:35.000 You're wasting your time thinking about some stupid shit.

02:22:38.000 You, if you're fucking super lucky, you got a hundred years on this rock.

02:22:43.000 Yeah.

02:22:43.000 A hundred.

02:22:44.000 And we're also externalizing pride.

02:22:46.000 Yeah.

02:22:47.000 Where it's like, oh, I need Trump to say this or I feel shame or pride.

02:22:52.000 It's like, it should stem from your own accomplishments and yourself.

02:22:55.000 You know, like pride.

02:22:57.000 Like, what do you have pride in?

02:22:58.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:22:59.000 You should be happy you did something difficult.

02:23:01.000 That's probably where it ends.

02:23:02.000 You know, you should be happy that you're a good person.

02:23:05.000 And, you know, you should be happy that you have a lot of friends and that you enjoy each other's company and you can make them happy and they can make you happy and that you enjoy seeing them.

02:23:14.000 You should be happy about accomplishments and good interactions that you successfully navigated through with people that maybe could have gone badly.

02:23:22.000 Those are always good feelings when clear the air with somebody and you give a big hug at the end of it and everybody feels better.

02:23:22.000 You know, those are always great.

02:23:28.000 Those are things to be happy about.

02:23:30.000 But people are happy about stupid shit.

02:23:32.000 You're happy about what?

02:23:33.000 That you both like swastikas?

02:23:34.000 So fucking stupid.

02:23:36.000 How about those dudes who showed up with guns?

02:23:38.000 They showed up with guns, like full, full-on open carry, walking on the street with military outfits on, flak jackets, machine guns, showing up while they're taking down this fucking statue.

02:23:49.000 Yeah, it's definitely a form of mental illness where it's like you're living out trauma that it doesn't really apply to your life.

02:23:55.000 Well, there's no real war for these people.

02:23:57.000 No.

02:23:58.000 At least where they're standing.

02:24:00.000 So because there's no real war, they're bringing guns and they're turning something.

02:24:04.000 They're ramping up all the power and the pressure of this moment.

02:24:08.000 I didn't see what happened on the side of the left, but I heard that they were doing some horrible shit to people too.

02:24:14.000 And there was a lot of punching and people were fucking beating the shit out of each other and there's piles on top of each other.

02:24:20.000 The violence all escalated.

02:24:21.000 I have no idea who started it.

02:24:24.000 I don't know.

02:24:25.000 I have no idea.

02:24:26.000 I have no idea if the police were at fault.

02:24:28.000 There's a lot of people that believe that the police should have separated them and they did not, they didn't do anything about it and they allowed it to escalate and they stood back while it escalated.

02:24:37.000 Like they didn't have the power, the manpower to go in and enforce some sort of civility.

02:24:42.000 That's tragic.

02:24:43.000 It's horrible, man.

02:24:44.000 I mean, they might not have been prepared for it.

02:24:45.000 They might not have had the resources.

02:24:47.000 I mean, how many fucking people are working there?

02:24:49.000 I mean, there was how many thousands of people showed up with torches?

02:24:52.000 Yeah, it was like the opposite of Woodstock.

02:24:55.000 Yeah.

02:24:55.000 Where it's like the worst possible too many people.

02:24:58.000 And I think a lot of times people need a purpose.

02:25:00.000 You know, like I'm friends with a lot of vets and like they have, you know, PTSD and all this stuff.

02:25:06.000 And a lot of them just want to purpose because like idle time makes them crazy.

02:25:12.000 And I think there's a lot of people right now that don't feel any purpose.

02:25:15.000 So they're like listening to chat rooms, whether it's ISIS or Nazis or, hey, we have a purpose for you.

02:25:21.000 You're more than just your like possessions.

02:25:25.000 And then that's when things become horrifying.

02:25:28.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:25:28.000 And listen, I know people get mad that we're talking about this, people on both sides.

02:25:34.000 If you have a group of people and you all show up with the same torch, you're a bunch of fucking assholes.

02:25:39.000 Why do you have torches?

02:25:42.000 Listen, go to fucking REF.

02:25:44.000 Is that REF?

02:25:46.000 REI.

02:25:47.000 I'm doing a Joey Diaz.

02:25:49.000 Go to REI.

02:25:50.000 Get a headlamp, bro.

02:25:51.000 They're so much better than torches.

02:25:53.000 If you're really concerned with seeing at night, okay?

02:25:56.000 I love myself.

02:25:57.000 A headlamp.

02:25:57.000 They're the shit.

02:25:58.000 They have three different things.

02:25:59.000 You can make them strobe sometimes.

02:26:00.000 I got a good one.

02:26:01.000 I think it's a black diamond.

02:26:02.000 I think that's the name of the company.

02:26:04.000 I wear it when I go hunting.

02:26:05.000 I put that fucker on my hat, and it's awesome.

02:26:07.000 I click that sucker, and I can walk around with no problem.

02:26:09.000 And the batteries and these things, they're tremendous.

02:26:11.000 They last forever.

02:26:12.000 Why the fuck do you need fire?

02:26:14.000 Why are you pretending?

02:26:16.000 Is that like some intimidation tactic?

02:26:18.000 Or you want to bring us back to the days where we didn't have fucking electricity and you had to walk down the street with a torch?

02:26:24.000 Yeah, they're almost intentionally being like, wear it backwards.

02:26:27.000 It is exactly like that.

02:26:29.000 Headlamps.

02:26:30.000 Whether they realize it or not, it is fucking stupid.

02:26:33.000 It's symbolic.

02:26:34.000 It's symbolic of back when Robert A. Lee was the leader of this great son of the country.

02:26:39.000 We didn't have electricity.

02:26:41.000 Stop.

02:26:42.000 Stop.

02:26:42.000 You're in a bad pattern, man.

02:26:44.000 You're in a bad pattern.

02:26:45.000 You're not a bad person.

02:26:46.000 Don't get stuck in this.

02:26:48.000 Don't let this define you.

02:26:50.000 You're just a person.

02:26:51.000 And any one of us could have got stuck in a shit pattern.

02:26:54.000 That's all it is.

02:26:55.000 That's what being a racist is.

02:26:57.000 It's not being a realist.

02:26:58.000 Stop.

02:26:59.000 There's assholes of all colors and genders and everything. 1.00

02:27:03.000 All persuasions.

02:27:04.000 There's assholes across the board.

02:27:06.000 And there's also a lot of nice people.

02:27:08.000 You just got to figure out a way to navigate away from the douchebags and don't be one of them.

02:27:13.000 And as soon as you show up with a fucking torch, yelling white pride, and you're taking off your shirt to show your Nazi tattoo, like, dude.

02:27:20.000 Dude, the Nazi flag is literally a red flag.

02:27:23.000 It's the worst thing you can do to your body to show that you're a part of, like, one of the worst groups ever in human history.

02:27:32.000 You're a part of this that randomly discriminates against Jews and wants to kill them and throw them in ovens.

02:27:36.000 That's what they did.

02:27:37.000 Well, that's all what it means, bro.

02:27:38.000 What it actually means.

02:27:41.000 You got to let that go.

02:27:41.000 You got to let the mustache go.

02:27:43.000 You got to let the swastika go. 0.95

02:27:44.000 You can get by without a swastika tattoo.

02:27:46.000 You really can.

02:27:47.000 You can thrive.

02:27:48.000 You can be a happy person.

02:27:49.000 They're suppressing my right.

02:27:50.000 My right to have a swastika. 0.92

02:27:52.000 I'm a big fan of Germany right before the war.

02:27:55.000 Have the right to be part of the group that clearly fucking sucks at everything.

02:27:59.000 No, no, no.

02:27:59.000 They didn't suck at first.

02:28:01.000 It's a good idea for some good early policies.

02:28:03.000 It got out of hand.

02:28:04.000 He built the Audubon, bro.

02:28:06.000 It got out of hand after a while.

02:28:08.000 He started taking Adderall.

02:28:09.000 Right after they made the Nurburg ring.

02:28:11.000 They're bringing those old Audis around those corners.

02:28:14.000 It's like once he made a fucking 50-mile missile, it was bad.

02:28:19.000 It's just wasting time.

02:28:20.000 They should get into bowling.

02:28:22.000 They could be into bowling just as much as they're into like U.S. history.

02:28:25.000 Confederate history is an important part of my life.

02:28:28.000 Bowling's everything to me.

02:28:29.000 They're the same person.

02:28:30.000 Yeah.

02:28:30.000 It's the same thing.

02:28:31.000 That's so true.

02:28:32.000 Go bow hunting, man.

02:28:33.000 It's way more fun.

02:28:34.000 Yeah, get into a hobby.

02:28:35.000 That's why I listen to your new hobbies on the pod.

02:28:38.000 Because I'm the same way.

02:28:39.000 I'll teach myself a very hard Beethoven song, and that allows me to be like, disappear and have a hobby and a purpose.

02:28:46.000 Like these goal-oriented purposes, like listening to you talk about getting into archery and loving it.

02:28:52.000 And the little amounts of weight on an arrow and stuff.

02:28:56.000 And I'm like, I need, it reminds me of hobbies.

02:28:59.000 It's fascinating, man.

02:29:01.000 All hobbies to me are the same thing in that what you're trying to do is trying to like focus on something and get better at it and figure out what it is that makes this thing good.

02:29:12.000 And it's the same thing.

02:29:12.000 It's like it's an extra, I mean, obviously they're not the same activity, but it's the same thing and it's a focus.

02:29:17.000 It's an avenue for your mind.

02:29:20.000 And I feel like it's like cross-training.

02:29:22.000 I feel like when you get involved in hobbies and you really get in, as long as you manage them healthily where you don't let them take over your life, getting better at a thing like chess Or jiu-jitsu, or whatever it is, gets you better at the entirety of your life.

02:29:35.000 As long as you look at the entirety of your life in balance and you don't let it run away from you.

02:29:40.000 Because I've let it run away from me for a bunch of times.

02:29:42.000 I think we all have.

02:29:43.000 It's good for stand-up, too.

02:29:45.000 Oh, yeah.

02:29:45.000 Like, just learning Spanish.

02:29:47.000 I'm trying to teach myself Spanish.

02:29:48.000 I have a whole new 10 minutes on the gender of nouns.

02:29:51.000 Like, that I wouldn't have even thought of if I'd only spoke English my whole life.

02:29:54.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

02:29:56.000 Yeah.

02:29:56.000 I mean, that's another totally different take on things, right?

02:29:59.000 Looking at it from the point of view of any sort of Latin art or Latin language.

02:30:04.000 La Luna.

02:30:05.000 Why is the moon a woman? 1.00

02:30:06.000 Then you go through the whole thing.

02:30:07.000 Oh, yeah.

02:30:07.000 It's like our language doesn't have any gender assignment at all on nouns.

02:30:11.000 And then for them, it's everything.

02:30:13.000 You have to remember what everything is, if it has a dick or a pussy. 1.00

02:30:17.000 I wonder if they're triggered all day.

02:30:19.000 All day.

02:30:20.000 Like, everybody's super upset at all this gender classification.

02:30:20.000 All day.

02:30:23.000 What about non-binary folks in Latin countries?

02:30:27.000 They just must be spiraling.

02:30:29.000 What about gender fluid?

02:30:30.000 Are you El Señor or La Señorita?

02:30:30.000 Like, who are you?

02:30:33.000 Who are you?

02:30:34.000 Just Zur.

02:30:35.000 It's like Zur Presidente Zur.

02:30:37.000 They don't buy that shit over there. 0.53

02:30:39.000 No.

02:30:40.000 And they don't even think about it.

02:30:41.000 It's fun doing it in Pasadena and shit because it's like a lot of Mexicans haven't even thought about that. 1.00

02:30:47.000 It's just so second nature.

02:30:49.000 It's almost like having someone describe our culture to us and being like, holy shit, we put silicone in chicks' fucking boobs. 1.00

02:30:56.000 Well, the butt thing's more disturbing to me for some reason.

02:30:59.000 Yeah.

02:31:00.000 The new trend in fake butts.

02:31:02.000 I saw a girl just two days ago at the hotel.

02:31:05.000 It looked like she had a diaper on. 0.99

02:31:06.000 It was insane.

02:31:07.000 She was walking around by the pool.

02:31:09.000 I was like, this is the craziest fuck.

02:31:11.000 She had some dress on and some so preposterously proportioned buttocks. 1.00

02:31:16.000 I was like, listen, you can't just do that.

02:31:20.000 You can't just do that.

02:31:22.000 Like, what are you doing here?

02:31:23.000 This is crazy.

02:31:24.000 Do you think it floats?

02:31:26.000 It definitely has to if it's all fat.

02:31:27.000 The ones that are doing it now, apparently what they do is fat grafting.

02:31:32.000 That's the same word I use when I describe welding fenders on a Porsche.

02:31:36.000 You graft a fender.

02:31:38.000 Yeah, that's what they call it.

02:31:40.000 They call it fat grafting.

02:31:42.000 So they take fat, they lipo you.

02:31:44.000 Like they take fat.

02:31:46.000 I wonder if they didn't tell you to get fat first.

02:31:47.000 Like, listen, just give you an excuse.

02:31:49.000 Beef up.

02:31:50.000 Just beef the fuck up.

02:31:51.000 Eat a lot of pasta.

02:31:53.000 Get crazy.

02:31:54.000 And then they lipo you, and then they tuck all that shit in your ass. 0.57

02:31:59.000 Just thicken that beast up.

02:32:02.000 And they have to like smooth it out, too.

02:32:02.000 Whoa!

02:32:05.000 They don't want it too lumpy.

02:32:06.000 Yeah.

02:32:06.000 You want to make sure you do a good job.

02:32:08.000 It probably makes air travel better.

02:32:10.000 Like, do you think that you're always switching?

02:32:12.000 Do you think you bounce?

02:32:12.000 Yeah.

02:32:13.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:32:14.000 For sure.

02:32:15.000 It'd be like everywhere you go, you're sitting on a water balloon.

02:32:18.000 Like everywhere you go.

02:32:20.000 You're always engaging the core.

02:32:22.000 Yeah, it'd be like one of them yoga bubbles.

02:32:25.000 Those balloon things that people sit on.

02:32:27.000 What are those things?

02:32:28.000 Those balls? 0.98

02:32:29.000 Those exercise balls?

02:32:30.000 That's what it'd be like all day long.

02:32:32.000 You're sitting on a giant yoga balloon.

02:32:38.000 And also like swimming, I feel like you drown.

02:32:40.000 Like your ass would just be like a buoy.

02:32:43.000 Like you would just see a bunch of buoys and just women that drown because they're ass buoys. 1.00

02:32:47.000 Would you show me some here, young Jamie?

02:32:49.000 What do we got here?

02:32:49.000 This is what you do?

02:32:50.000 Okay, so you suck it out of even the thighs. 0.95

02:32:54.000 The thighs and the upper middle back area.

02:32:58.000 They suck it out of there and then pump it in your ass. 1.00

02:33:01.000 Give me some before, after, son.

02:33:03.000 Hold on, go back to that picture.

02:33:03.000 Look at that.

02:33:05.000 Jesus, look at that.

02:33:06.000 I don't like ass and surgery. 0.99

02:33:09.000 I don't like those two words together.

02:33:11.000 I think ass surgery, if someone says that to you, you go, oh, dude, I'm so sorry.

02:33:16.000 You got to get ass surgery. 1.00

02:33:17.000 No, no, no.

02:33:18.000 I want to.

02:33:18.000 No, it's funny, bro.

02:33:20.000 What?

02:33:20.000 You want to get ass surgery?

02:33:22.000 I identify with a jiggly fucking pillow ass.

02:33:24.000 I want to plumper up.

02:33:25.000 I'm just going to be honest with you.

02:33:26.000 And you can never get mad at that point if someone cat calls you.

02:33:29.000 It's like you literally are just throwing blood at tigers at that point.

02:33:33.000 The girl on the right, okay, she didn't get crazy.

02:33:37.000 She was just a little conservative in her approach.

02:33:40.000 It's like she almost like photoshopped.

02:33:42.000 Like she took a little off the sides and put it in her butt and like, hmm, I kind of see what you did there. 0.99

02:33:47.000 But all you have to do is crossfit, okay?

02:33:51.000 Oh, but did you see that video of that girl doing that clean? 1.00

02:33:55.000 And she falls and it hits her neck?

02:33:57.000 Here, I'll send it to you.

02:33:59.000 It's dark, dude.

02:34:01.000 She got hurt.

02:34:01.000 It's dark.

02:34:02.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:34:03.000 Yeah, she got fucking heart. 0.60

02:34:05.000 She got hurt, man, for sure.

02:34:07.000 Guaranteed.

02:34:08.000 It's not good.

02:34:09.000 Here, let me see where I can find it here.

02:34:10.000 Eddie Bravo sent it to me today.

02:34:12.000 But it's been all over Twitter.

02:34:16.000 Did it fall on her neck?

02:34:17.000 Yeah, dude.

02:34:18.000 She cleaned it, and it landed, like, literally on her neck.

02:34:22.000 It was horrific.

02:34:23.000 Oh, that's just Eddie by himself.

02:34:24.000 Hold on a second.

02:34:25.000 I'm so sorry.

02:34:27.000 I'm so sorry.

02:34:29.000 It's rough, dude.

02:34:30.000 Yeah, that's really rough.

02:34:31.000 Here it is.

02:34:32.000 I got it.

02:34:33.000 All right, let me send it to young Jamie here.

02:34:35.000 Hold, please.

02:34:38.000 Copy, link.

02:34:39.000 Oh, no, you could say share, right?

02:34:41.000 Can't you do that?

02:34:43.000 I fucked up.

02:34:43.000 Hold on.

02:34:45.000 This is a really awesome part of the show.

02:34:47.000 This is my favorite part.

02:34:48.000 It's called Joe is not really talking very well because he's sending Jamie something that he needs to see.

02:34:54.000 All right, there we go.

02:34:55.000 I sent it to you.

02:34:56.000 I tweeted.

02:34:56.000 I sent it to your phone.

02:34:58.000 Was it like heavy?

02:34:58.000 Should I email it to you?

02:34:59.000 So you could put it up.

02:34:59.000 I should, right?

02:35:01.000 Yes.

02:35:03.000 Is that her?

02:35:03.000 No.

02:35:04.000 No, that's not her.

02:35:05.000 I think more than one chick has done that, I'm sure. 0.99

02:35:07.000 Here, I'll email it to you so you can play it on the thing.

02:35:12.000 Okay.

02:35:12.000 It's horrible, man.

02:35:13.000 That sounds wicked, horrifying.

02:35:14.000 Watch.

02:35:15.000 She gets it up in the air, and then she loses control of it and drops it down. 0.95

02:35:19.000 And I don't know if she's doing...

02:35:23.000 Watch.

02:35:23.000 Look at this.

02:35:23.000 She gets up.

02:35:24.000 Ah, no!

02:35:26.000 Oh, man.

02:35:28.000 Yeah, not good, dude.

02:35:30.000 Not good.

02:35:31.000 Look at this.

02:35:32.000 That girl could have died for sure. 1.00

02:35:34.000 For sure.

02:35:35.000 She could have been paralyzed.

02:35:36.000 She's okay, apparently.

02:35:38.000 Luckily, because the bar is larger than her.

02:35:41.000 You know, the plates are larger than her body. 0.99

02:35:44.000 So as it falls, the plates hit the ground.

02:35:46.000 The thing probably bounced off.

02:35:47.000 The ground was probably rubber.

02:35:49.000 So she was alright.

02:35:50.000 But that's not good.

02:35:52.000 Yeah, and that's, you know, I think.

02:35:53.000 Well, that's the issue that a lot of people have with people getting really crazy with those kind of Olympic lifts and things along those lines.

02:36:00.000 You got to be real careful with that shit.

02:36:02.000 You know, it can go wrong.

02:36:05.000 It's one of the things that I really love about kettlebells.

02:36:08.000 Like, I've never had that kind of shit happen to me with kettlebells.

02:36:11.000 never lost one.

02:36:12.000 I'd lift pretty heavy with them, but I've built up to it over the years.

02:36:16.000 And I never go to failure.

02:36:17.000 Like, what I'm doing is like, it's hard and it makes you stronger, but this like that, it's not going to make you that kind of strong.

02:36:25.000 Like, that kind of clean, pressed, squat, strong.

02:36:27.000 That's a fucking high-level strong.

02:36:30.000 But boy, that's so strength-specific and it's super dangerous.

02:36:33.000 Yeah, yeah, and kettlebell is more applicable to your life.

02:36:35.000 Like, now, like, I literally am swinging my baby like it's a kettlebell.

02:36:39.000 And I'm like, oh, wow, all that gym work really made me a better dad.

02:36:42.000 I do Turkish get-ups with my kids.

02:36:44.000 Which one's that?

02:36:45.000 Turkish get-ups.

02:36:46.000 You lie down on your back, then I press them, then I sit up.

02:36:49.000 Oh, nice.

02:36:50.000 Then I'll get up and I'll hold them up in the air, and then I'll slowly let them down.

02:36:52.000 It was way easier when they were babies, bro.

02:36:55.000 It's hard now.

02:36:56.000 Yeah, like that.

02:36:57.000 It's like we're adding weight to the baby.

02:36:59.000 I carry my kids around all the time, too.

02:37:01.000 That's one thing I do.

02:37:02.000 I go hiking, and I'll throw my kids on my shoulders.

02:37:04.000 So it's like my nine-year-old's like 50 pounds, 53 pounds.

02:37:07.000 So I carry her up hills.

02:37:08.000 That's legit.

02:37:09.000 It's a good workout.

02:37:09.000 It's good.

02:37:10.000 And I kind of have little slightly wide hips, which kind of...

02:37:14.000 So we're trying to like halfway.

02:37:16.000 So if you went the other way, it'd be quick, quick transition.

02:37:18.000 Yeah, but I'd still be 6'7 and just not good at basketball.

02:37:21.000 Big, sexy woman. 0.86

02:37:22.000 Big, sexy hippie. 0.99

02:37:24.000 Not a woman. 1.00

02:37:24.000 Yeah, hippie. 1.00

02:37:25.000 But with the baby, though, I'm like, oh, I can...

02:37:29.000 Oh, put them on the hips. 1.00

02:37:31.000 That's why they have them.

02:37:32.000 You have them to come out.

02:37:33.000 Yeah.

02:37:34.000 It's not to carry them around.

02:37:36.000 Imagine if they had a pouch like a kangaroo right in the hip and it grew out right when they got pregnant. 1.00

02:37:41.000 Tucked a little kid right there.

02:37:42.000 That'd be amazing.

02:37:43.000 Yeah, they just walk a little sideways, limp.

02:37:46.000 Kid just sitting right there.

02:37:47.000 Yeah, because my wife's like chiseled now from just holding the babies. 1.00

02:37:50.000 Oh, yeah, you get jacked.

02:37:51.000 Yeah.

02:37:51.000 You're carrying around a weight all day.

02:37:53.000 It's like you're doing stuff.

02:37:54.000 Like boxers use hand weights and they're only like two pounds, you know?

02:37:57.000 Yeah.

02:37:59.000 Remember those ankle ones?

02:38:00.000 Did you ever use those?

02:38:01.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:38:02.000 I used to use those for kicks.

02:38:03.000 We used to use those.

02:38:04.000 And people are like, oh, you're going to fuck your knees up.

02:38:06.000 You know, because if you kick hard with ankle weights on, you fuck your knees up.

02:38:10.000 So we always avoid.

02:38:11.000 But now that I'm older, I'm like, oh, no, you wouldn't.

02:38:14.000 Just do it right.

02:38:15.000 Yeah.

02:38:15.000 It definitely would make you stronger.

02:38:17.000 Callen once showed me you kicking a bag, and it was unbelievable to watch.

02:38:22.000 We were like on set of self-inson.

02:38:24.000 He's like, dude, look at this.

02:38:25.000 And he was just wham, wham.

02:38:27.000 And I remember just being like, fuck, man, that's a skill I'll never have.

02:38:31.000 I really enjoy watching that.

02:38:32.000 That's a skill that I don't even believe I have.

02:38:35.000 I don't believe it's real.

02:38:37.000 It's crazy.

02:38:38.000 It's one of those things where whenever I go to work out, I'm like, do I really know how to do this?

02:38:41.000 Like, it doesn't seem like I should.

02:38:43.000 And it was like a machine gun.

02:38:44.000 It was just bam, bam, bam.

02:38:45.000 I'm like, that's a 30 clip right there.

02:38:48.000 Well, I just do it all the time.

02:38:49.000 But even to this day, like, I still, it's weird because I grew up doing it.

02:38:54.000 And it's like, so I kind of barely remember learning it.

02:38:57.000 It's like me with piano.

02:38:59.000 Like, I'm playing Bach.

02:39:00.000 And I'm like.

02:39:01.000 So your fingers just find the keys.

02:39:03.000 And I'm such like a, I'm just, I'm like retarded. 0.98

02:39:05.000 You know, and I'm playing like the craziest songs ever written.

02:39:08.000 We made this video because Eddie Bravo had always seen me do this and he would tell people and they would go, shut the fuck up.

02:39:15.000 You know, because everybody always thinks that everybody's always exaggerating about their friend who does something, you know, whatever the fuck it is.

02:39:23.000 And so he was always like talking to me about martial arts kicking.

02:39:30.000 And I was like, well, there's a lot of like problems with some of the ways some people kick.

02:39:33.000 And I would explain it to him.

02:39:35.000 And then I would like show him on a bag.

02:39:36.000 And he'd be like, what the fuck?

02:39:38.000 Like, how long have you been able to do this?

02:39:39.000 I'm like, I've been doing this my whole life.

02:39:40.000 And he'd be like, how do you know how to do it?

02:39:42.000 Like, this is crazy.

02:39:42.000 I can't believe you could do that.

02:39:44.000 It's muscle memory.

02:39:45.000 Well, it's just, I grew up doing it.

02:39:46.000 You know, it's just a part of how my body moves.

02:39:50.000 But because I don't really remember learning it, it does feel weird.

02:39:55.000 It feels like I'm not sure I really can do it until I do it.

02:39:59.000 And then every time I do it, I go, oh, yeah.

02:40:01.000 Yeah, and like the shock and awe of a kick.

02:40:03.000 Oh, it's horrible.

02:40:04.000 Like, even if there's someone that is more my speed, if they just bust out a big kick, I'm like.

02:40:11.000 Yeah, it's all right.

02:40:12.000 Yeah, my wife, yeah, she is a bitch. 1.00

02:40:15.000 Especially leg kicks, man.

02:40:16.000 If you like see like a really good like Muay Thai fighter and you watch someone kick someone's legs, it's so horrible.

02:40:24.000 Like the sound it makes and the power it has.

02:40:26.000 I see that in the US street all the time. 0.70

02:40:28.000 It's one of the still to this day, one of the hardest because I'm like, god damn it, I don't think people are appreciating how hard that is.

02:40:34.000 Like that hurts.

02:40:35.000 Like that other guy's in pain right now.

02:40:37.000 He's just got an awesome poker face.

02:40:39.000 Like he just got ate up with that kick.

02:40:40.000 And then by the time a guy does start to show it, you're like, oh no, he's done.

02:40:44.000 His legs are gone.

02:40:45.000 I've always wondered that.

02:40:46.000 Like they just don't show it, right?

02:40:48.000 Yeah, oh, for sure.

02:40:48.000 The toughest men in the world.

02:40:50.000 And women. 0.98

02:40:50.000 You know, if somebody who is not trained got kicked like that, and like, I want to feel what it feels like. 0.98

02:40:56.000 And like, you let someone like Tyron Woodley or something, the UFC Welterweight champion, let him leg kick you.

02:41:01.000 You'd be like, oh my God.

02:41:03.000 But how do you keep it?

02:41:05.000 You lift your leg up and you check it.

02:41:07.000 Like you would try, like they're trying to hit the meat.

02:41:10.000 Well, they could be trying to hit low too.

02:41:11.000 That's actually more recently a much more used tactic is the low leg kick where they're attacking like literally like right above the ankle.

02:41:20.000 It's nasty.

02:41:21.000 And they clip right above the ankle with your shin and it just swells up real bad on a lot of guys.

02:41:26.000 You don't really condition that area like over low by the ankle.

02:41:30.000 But the thigh you can condition.

02:41:32.000 You can take a few shots.

02:41:33.000 And then the other thing you do is as the shots coming in, you lift your leg up a little bit and kind of turn your foot out.

02:41:37.000 And so the idea is that your shin and your thigh take the brunt of the hit instead of just the meat of the thigh.

02:41:43.000 Can you help bone density?

02:41:45.000 Yeah, yeah, it helps bone density.

02:41:46.000 It actually, what it is, is as you keep having impacts over and over again, a bunch of things happen.

02:41:52.000 One, there's a bunch of little micro fractures that happen, they heal up and it gets harder.

02:41:55.000 And also there's a calcification that happens because there's a lot of bleeding.

02:41:59.000 Like a lot of those guys, like if you feel their shins, they're like, Jesus Christ, like hard like a rock, man.

02:42:04.000 Like there's this dude, Malipet.

02:42:06.000 There's a bunch of those dudes that are fighting in Muay Thai that can kick through baseball bats.

02:42:13.000 Yeah, it's super common.

02:42:15.000 Like all those high-level guys can most likely kick through a baseball bat.

02:42:18.000 It's hilarious when you watch them do it too because it looks so terrifying.

02:42:22.000 Just kick through the bat.

02:42:23.000 That's like another animal.

02:42:24.000 Just like, that's a dumb.

02:42:25.000 Yeah, they've made their shins so fucking hard and they kick so hard.

02:42:29.000 They can just smash Right through things, like if a guy like that is kicking your leg, you're in a nightmare.

02:42:34.000 It's a terrible place to be.

02:42:37.000 Yeah, and I played football, so like when you talk about brain injury, sometimes I'm like, Man, am I gonna end up crazy?

02:42:41.000 Because I used to take so many hits to the head.

02:42:43.000 Yeah, this, I forget this gentleman's name, but watch him do this.

02:42:48.000 He's warming up right there, and here he comes.

02:42:52.000 Oh, dude, he just snapped that baseball bat in half.

02:42:57.000 Fuck all that.

02:42:59.000 I forget that guy's name.

02:43:01.000 He's a famous, let's see if you can get his name.

02:43:03.000 Because he's a famous.

02:43:05.000 Yeah, Melchrom. 0.94

02:43:06.000 Mel, how do you say his name?

02:43:07.000 Melchromenor.

02:43:10.000 I hope I'm saying his name right, but he's a Muay Thai coach on one of the seasons of the Ultimate Fighter, the early days.

02:43:15.000 But real respected Muay Thai fighter and coach.

02:43:18.000 There's a bunch of guys who could do that.

02:43:20.000 It's a real common move, actually, with Muay Thai fighters.

02:43:23.000 They kick through baseball bats.

02:43:24.000 Here's another one.

02:43:25.000 So that's a broken shin bone.

02:43:27.000 Not for him, for you and me, yeah.

02:43:30.000 This guy's going to kick through it while he's got like a cord attached to his leg.

02:43:34.000 They did a sports science on it.

02:43:35.000 Oh.

02:43:36.000 So they got like bam!

02:43:38.000 Dude, what in the fuck?

02:43:41.000 Dude.

02:43:42.000 Who's that?

02:43:44.000 Same guy?

02:43:45.000 So he does it all the time.

02:43:45.000 Yeah.

02:43:46.000 That guy's probably busted 100 bats.

02:43:49.000 If that guy kicks you, it would hurt so bad.

02:43:52.000 Oh, my God.

02:43:53.000 Dude, it would have like...

02:43:59.000 And then everything else, it's like your basement flooding.

02:44:01.000 It's like, what can you do when you don't have a foot to stand on?

02:44:04.000 Well, you can't punch either.

02:44:06.000 Like, your punches are, they become like these windmill arm punches.

02:44:09.000 You can't pivot off your foot.

02:44:11.000 You can't place weight on it.

02:44:12.000 You're in agony.

02:44:13.000 It's like ready to give out.

02:44:14.000 And they don't show it.

02:44:16.000 Yeah, well, a lot of them don't.

02:44:17.000 A lot of them have an awesome poker face.

02:44:17.000 Yeah.

02:44:19.000 Like, it takes a while.

02:44:20.000 It's so cool.

02:44:22.000 It's the hardest, probably the hardest sport to ever compete in.

02:44:25.000 I'd be like, fuck.

02:44:26.000 If it's not the hardest sport to compete in, I'd like to know what is.

02:44:29.000 It's got to be.

02:44:30.000 It's one of them.

02:44:31.000 Because strength, endurance, mental ability, you know, you're basically a quarterback and a running back and a linebacker at the same time.

02:44:38.000 The only thing that I would think might be harder to do is those ultra marathons when those dudes are running like we're talking about the Bigfoot 200.

02:44:47.000 When those dudes are running 205 miles over mountains.

02:44:51.000 That might be harder to do than an MMA fight.

02:44:53.000 Like if you thought of the amount of people that could fight in an MMA fight versus the amount of people that could run for 78 hours in a row, run 205 miles.

02:45:05.000 I think it's close.

02:45:07.000 Real close.

02:45:08.000 They're different things, obviously, because one of them is dealing with getting your ass kicked, but the other one is dealing with your own demons.

02:45:15.000 Like your demons, the wanting to quit demon.

02:45:18.000 And how much did you prepare?

02:45:21.000 Did you prepare properly?

02:45:22.000 What about the disciplined demon?

02:45:23.000 You know, the fuck off demon that tripped up the disciplined demon and you didn't get in good enough shape to really run 205 miles in 78 hours, which is just insane.

02:45:33.000 Man versus self versus man versus man.

02:45:36.000 Yeah, it's interesting.

02:45:36.000 It's like the white whale versus a war movie.

02:45:38.000 You know, it's like you're battling.

02:45:40.000 It's like golf.

02:45:45.000 It's all about it.

02:45:46.000 Yeah, that makes sense.

02:45:47.000 I mean, you always get the shot, right?

02:45:49.000 You get your own shot.

02:45:50.000 You set it up on the T, you get to whack it, you move it around.

02:45:52.000 No one's like knocking it out of the way for you.

02:45:54.000 It's not like pool.

02:45:55.000 They're not like hiding the ball on you.

02:45:57.000 Just you versus self.

02:45:57.000 Right.

02:45:59.000 78 hours.

02:46:00.000 I can't.

02:46:01.000 Fucking crazy.

02:46:02.000 That might be harder.

02:46:03.000 Might be harder than an MMA fight.

02:46:05.000 Yeah, because they're resilient.

02:46:06.000 I just can't even picture being awake that long.

02:46:08.000 Like, I've been up for 40 hours and I'm hallucinating.

02:46:11.000 You definitely hallucinate.

02:46:12.000 People hallucinate when they run.

02:46:13.000 When they run those races.

02:46:15.000 Yeah, I was hearing that guy on your show.

02:46:17.000 Remember that?

02:46:18.000 No, the one about the baby in Everest.

02:46:20.000 Oh, yeah.

02:46:20.000 That was my friend Ben O'Brien.

02:46:22.000 Yeah, that was altitude sickness and altitude sickness and some sort of probably a stomach bug.

02:46:28.000 And the two of them together.

02:46:29.000 And he was just breaking, tripping balls.

02:46:32.000 He saw a baby, saw a wolf that didn't really exist.

02:46:34.000 Like, he was out of it.

02:46:36.000 I feel like if people aren't reacting to a giant baby that you see, that would be the crip.

02:46:42.000 Like, it's like, you guys don't see this giant baby.

02:46:44.000 You'd feel like such a fucking idiot.

02:46:46.000 He'd be like, oh, no.

02:46:49.000 What do I do now?

02:46:50.000 Like, that hits so many levels of primal shit.

02:46:53.000 Like, take care of the baby.

02:46:54.000 But also, like, what the fuck is going on with this baby?

02:46:54.000 Yeah.

02:46:57.000 Oh.

02:46:59.000 Fuck.

02:46:59.000 A baby just in the woods.

02:47:01.000 Imagine if you're just walking through the woods and you find a baby.

02:47:04.000 What do you do?

02:47:04.000 Like, you're deep in the woods.

02:47:06.000 Do you take the baby?

02:47:07.000 I feel like you got it, right?

02:47:08.000 But if you take, do you have to sit with the baby and go, hello?

02:47:11.000 I found a baby.

02:47:13.000 Anybody messing up babies right here? 0.77

02:47:16.000 But whoever, but if you steal the baby, it's like, you piece of shit.

02:47:19.000 I was just going to the bathroom.

02:47:21.000 You took my fucking kid.

02:47:23.000 I called out.

02:47:23.000 I called.

02:47:24.000 I didn't want you to know where I was.

02:47:25.000 I had my pants down.

02:47:27.000 Some crazy hood rat having a baby in the taking a shit in the woods. 1.00

02:47:32.000 Baby baby over by a log.

02:47:32.000 Yeah.

02:47:35.000 But like, baby in wilderness, you should take the baby, right?

02:47:38.000 Yeah, you should just plop, you know, the baby down on the ground right next to where you shit.

02:47:42.000 Keep an eye on him and don't shit on them.

02:47:44.000 Yeah, I mean, there's owls and raccoons and all the things we've been discussing.

02:47:47.000 But you're like talking about shame of shit next to a baby with no memory.

02:47:50.000 Yeah, it's not a good argument, that's for sure.

02:47:52.000 Terrible argument.

02:47:56.000 Yeah, you got to watch those babies, man.

02:47:58.000 Look who you're saying, like how your wife started to get really concerned about things when she had a kid.

02:48:03.000 Yeah.

02:48:03.000 Yeah, that's what, that's a normal, natural thing.

02:48:05.000 That's why we get so freaked out when someone leaves their kid in a car.

02:48:08.000 Like, what?

02:48:09.000 You left a baby in a car by itself.

02:48:12.000 Oh, you're not doing this right.

02:48:14.000 Yeah, that's when I really get triggered.

02:48:16.000 Like, if I hear child abuse stuff, that's when I'm like, that's what I think people are describing when triggered.

02:48:22.000 I literally get angry.

02:48:24.000 Sure.

02:48:24.000 Oh, yeah.

02:48:25.000 Child abuse stuff, for sure.

02:48:26.000 Yeah.

02:48:27.000 You see somebody yank their kid.

02:48:28.000 I saw some lady kick her kid in a video online. 1.00

02:48:31.000 It was a baby, like a two-year-old at the most.

02:48:33.000 She kicked it like hard. 1.00

02:48:35.000 And the kid stiffened up, like probably got KO'd.

02:48:38.000 It was horrible.

02:48:39.000 It's horrible to see.

02:48:40.000 The kid was crawling around the ground, and she just kicked it. 1.00

02:48:43.000 Don't pull it up, please.

02:48:45.000 I saw you type it.

02:48:45.000 Okay.

02:48:46.000 I'm like, you son of a bitch.

02:48:47.000 You son of a bitch.

02:48:49.000 It's just, that stuff is triggering, right?

02:48:52.000 Same with dogs.

02:48:53.000 Like, there was this video of some chick on a subway just hitting a dog, and I'm like, you know, ooh.

02:48:59.000 That just makes, like, it triggers everything in me that protects weakness.

02:49:04.000 Where I'm like, they can't protect themselves.

02:49:07.000 I'll punch the shit out of an ostrich. 1.00

02:49:07.000 What about an ostrich though? 1.00

02:49:09.000 It's all about reeds.

02:49:09.000 Fuck yeah.

02:49:10.000 They'll get cocky.

02:49:11.000 They'll get cocky on you.

02:49:12.000 They'll start pecking you. 0.54

02:49:15.000 Dude, even my chickens will come at me.

02:49:16.000 They'll be like super scared and then they'll start being a dick.

02:49:19.000 If you have bare feet, they'll go for your toes.

02:49:21.000 Yeah.

02:49:21.000 I think they might be able to eat a toe.

02:49:23.000 My brother fed it chicken, which is a little fucked up.

02:49:26.000 Yeah, I don't do that.

02:49:26.000 Ooh, that is fucked up.

02:49:27.000 Yeah.

02:49:28.000 That's how you get mad chickens. 0.67

02:49:29.000 Do they have mad chicken disease?

02:49:31.000 Probably.

02:49:33.000 It's like upset chicken.

02:49:34.000 It's like not quite as bad.

02:49:35.000 When we were on Fear Factor, I got attacked by an ostrich.

02:49:38.000 Not really.

02:49:38.000 If I was like an exaggerator, I would say it attacked me, but it definitely took a swing at me.

02:49:42.000 If you were BuzzFeed, you were attacked by a bostrid.

02:49:44.000 I grabbed his neck.

02:49:45.000 I was like, bitch, get the fuck out of here. 1.00

02:49:47.000 Like it came close enough where I had to do this and then push it away from me and get away from the fence.

02:49:52.000 They try to fuck you. 0.93

02:49:53.000 Fuck you up, rather.

02:49:54.000 They try to bitch some fucking, they don't want you there. 1.00

02:49:57.000 You're like, bitch, get the fuck out of here. 1.00

02:49:58.000 They can like take a person, kind of, right?

02:50:01.000 They're not a small animal, you know?

02:50:03.000 And what's interesting is they have red meat.

02:50:06.000 They have ostrich burgers that you get at Fudruckers, and they're quite delicious.

02:50:10.000 And they're actually very high in protein, like much higher in protein, I think, than beef.

02:50:14.000 I think they're up there with like wild game, like in the neighborhood, like maybe not wild, not maybe not like wild moose or something like that, but in the neighborhood, like getting closer to that than it is to like beef.

02:50:25.000 And it's real lean.

02:50:27.000 But it's weird because it's like essentially, again, it's a fucking dinosaur.

02:50:31.000 You're looking at a dinosaur and you think like this is going to be like chicken.

02:50:33.000 No.

02:50:34.000 It's not like chicken at all.

02:50:35.000 It's red.

02:50:36.000 It's a red meat.

02:50:37.000 It's a fucking crazy old raptor.

02:50:42.000 Who do you think like ostrich kangaroo?

02:50:45.000 Who do you got money on?

02:50:46.000 Dude, that's a good question.

02:50:48.000 The kangaroo, clearly, because they'll choke you. 0.99

02:50:51.000 Kangaroos will choke you. 1.00

02:50:52.000 Plus, they sit back on their tail and they fucking punt you.

02:50:55.000 Right.

02:50:56.000 You know, I don't think an ostrich can fuck with that.

02:50:58.000 Ostrich is going to try to kick the kangaroo. 1.00

02:51:00.000 The kangaroo is like, bitch, you don't. 1.00

02:51:02.000 This is silly.

02:51:03.000 Can't sit back on your tail, bro?

02:51:04.000 It's like a guy who took like...

02:51:08.000 Is this a kangaroo versus an ostrich?

02:51:09.000 This is an actual fight?

02:51:11.000 Is it really?

02:51:12.000 It's an emu, but.

02:51:13.000 Oh, it's an emu.

02:51:14.000 It's close enough to a kangaroo.

02:51:15.000 That is like a kangaroo, right?

02:51:17.000 So it's a kangaroo and an emu, not an ostrich.

02:51:20.000 I thought an emu is like a peacock.

02:51:22.000 I don't know shit.

02:51:23.000 Oh, there is a guy.

02:51:24.000 Ooh, that thing looks scary.

02:51:26.000 See, I would have my money.

02:51:27.000 I don't know, though.

02:51:28.000 The emu is bigger for sure.

02:51:30.000 Yeah, it's got a bigger.

02:51:30.000 It's a big-ass emu.

02:51:32.000 Huh?

02:51:32.000 There's two of them.

02:51:33.000 Yeah, but that's a little-ass kangaroo. 1.00

02:51:35.000 That's true.

02:51:37.000 That kangaroo is small.

02:51:38.000 They have big, giant kangaroos, man.

02:51:41.000 Some dude got fucked up by a kangaroo recently.

02:51:45.000 Whoa, this is a crazy little fight here.

02:51:47.000 The emu is all goofy.

02:51:49.000 He's like shucking and jiving.

02:51:51.000 All the fake moves.

02:51:52.000 He's trying to fake him out.

02:51:53.000 He's like, the kangaroo's like, I'm taking his food, bitch. 1.00

02:51:56.000 This is my food.

02:51:57.000 And the emu's like, oh, motherfucker, I'm taking that food.

02:52:01.000 Look at that.

02:52:01.000 The emu is like literally like a Star Wars bird.

02:52:03.000 It doesn't even look real.

02:52:05.000 Look at the shagginess in that.

02:52:07.000 They're ready to go at it.

02:52:08.000 Look at this.

02:52:09.000 It looks like it would fight like Jurassic, like just with its neck.

02:52:12.000 Ooh, you might be right.

02:52:13.000 It's like scary and like precious at the same time.

02:52:17.000 It's like, hello.

02:52:18.000 But the same posturing.

02:52:20.000 Yeah.

02:52:21.000 It's not making a move.

02:52:22.000 Come on, bitch. 1.00

02:52:22.000 It's like a fancy... 1.00

02:52:25.000 It's like shit technique.

02:52:28.000 If I was a kangaroo, I'd just charge this bitch. 1.00

02:52:31.000 This guy doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.

02:52:33.000 I'm just going to move in on this.

02:52:36.000 There's three of them.

02:52:37.000 I bet if you smack one of them, the other two are just going to...

02:52:39.000 Ha ha ha ha ha!

02:52:42.000 Ha ha ha ha!

02:52:45.000 Ha ha ha ha!

02:52:47.000 That's a stupid thing to think of.

02:52:50.000 Is there contact?

02:52:51.000 I don't think so.

02:52:51.000 I don't know.

02:52:52.000 I think it's a bitch-ass fight. 1.00

02:52:54.000 They need to get one of those big, angry kangaroos. 1.00

02:52:57.000 That's a little tiny baby kangaroo.

02:52:59.000 Yeah, they'll sell those form.

02:53:01.000 At the end of the day, that kangaroo got all the fucking leaves.

02:53:04.000 Those stupid birds need to step the fuck back and respect the superiority of the mammal. 1.00

02:53:10.000 I'm on team mammal.

02:53:11.000 I don't give a fuck.

02:53:12.000 I think people should all be lumped in together as one unit, but it's us versus them when it comes to mammals.

02:53:17.000 Yeah, breastfeeding is big. 1.00

02:53:20.000 The mammary gland.

02:53:21.000 Yeah, if you have an egg, your kid comes out of an egg, get the fuck out of here. 0.79

02:53:25.000 You're not part of the conversation.

02:53:25.000 Get out of here.

02:53:27.000 It's so old.

02:53:28.000 That's like driving around in some sort of a horse buggy.

02:53:32.000 You know?

02:53:32.000 It's hipster shit.

02:53:35.000 It's clearly their hipsters.

02:53:37.000 Imagine if your wife gave birth to an egg, so I sit on it and wait.

02:53:42.000 Just sit there, keeping that egg warm.

02:53:45.000 Yeah.

02:53:46.000 Ridiculous.

02:53:48.000 But if it was like the penguin.

02:53:49.000 Yeah, penguins are like almost like they're like the frog, like the in-between.

02:53:53.000 Who the fuck are they?

02:53:54.000 The penguins fly.

02:53:56.000 They have to keep the baby on their feet.

02:53:58.000 They have to put the baby up high on their feet.

02:53:58.000 Remember that?

02:54:00.000 Otherwise, it'll freeze if it touches the ground.

02:54:02.000 Yeah, because the environment, so they're like smart, social.

02:54:05.000 That's like nature just telling you, look, dude, your contributions are really non-valuable.

02:54:11.000 We're barely accepting this model still.

02:54:11.000 Okay.

02:54:14.000 Right.

02:54:15.000 If it wasn't for the tuxedo, you guys are out.

02:54:17.000 They're essentially population control for local fish and they're food for leopard seals.

02:54:22.000 That's their position.

02:54:24.000 Just keep making those babies and keep holding on to those eggs. 1.00

02:54:27.000 It's a niche.

02:54:28.000 Yeah.

02:54:29.000 And the dude, it's a weird society because the dude has to take care of the egg.

02:54:33.000 Interesting.

02:54:33.000 Yeah, the chick takes off, gets a bunch of fish, stuffs in her fat face, comes back, but it's a long-ass haul.

02:54:39.000 And during this long-ass haul, the dude has to take the egg and sit it on his feet.

02:54:42.000 Nice.

02:54:43.000 And he's got to protect it from the snow and the ground, the blizzard-like conditions.

02:54:46.000 And those are gender roles, not gender.

02:54:48.000 Yeah, look at that, man.

02:54:50.000 See, that's a male holding on to the egg, and the baby's about to be born.

02:54:54.000 Baby's like, I'm out of here, bitch. 1.00

02:54:56.000 Yeah, I'm cool with that.

02:54:58.000 Those are modern.

02:54:58.000 They're very modern birds.

02:55:00.000 Cute little fuckers. 1.00

02:55:01.000 They're like, just because I'm a man doesn't mean I can't sit on my fucking egg.

02:55:04.000 It's just weird because they're almost defenseless.

02:55:06.000 It's like nature's saying, like, you can't even fly, dude.

02:55:10.000 No.

02:55:11.000 We're not going to walk.

02:55:12.000 And yeah, when you're on the ground, you can't move fast.

02:55:14.000 We want you like lumbering barely. 0.62

02:55:16.000 You have to give birth on the ground.

02:55:18.000 The only time you can get away from anything is when you're in the water, but you're rarely in the water.

02:55:22.000 So stay on the ground and be vulnerable.

02:55:25.000 Yeah, like when they walk, it's so absurd.

02:55:26.000 If you played like a tuba, it's like a comedy.

02:55:29.000 Yeah, there's not a penguin Alive that I couldn't beat in a race.

02:55:31.000 I could be drunk and I'll beat them.

02:55:33.000 I'm like, come on, pussy. 1.00

02:55:35.000 Ready, said go.

02:55:36.000 Fuck you.

02:55:38.000 They're absurd animals.

02:55:40.000 But they do have predators, though.

02:55:41.000 How come it's not just like they're not wiped out?

02:55:43.000 Leopard seals are, they jack them, but they can only eat so many.

02:55:48.000 Leopard seals are fucking huge, man.

02:55:50.000 Because a leopard seal killed a photographer a few years back.

02:55:54.000 It was the first time ever.

02:55:56.000 Which is weird because apparently they're very intelligent too.

02:56:01.000 And they've actually brought photographers and divers.

02:56:04.000 They brought them seals.

02:56:06.000 They'll kill a seal or a penguin. 0.55

02:56:08.000 Not a seal, a penguin.

02:56:09.000 They'll kill a penguin and bring it over to a photographer to try to like the photography, like, eat.

02:56:12.000 Come on, man, eat.

02:56:13.000 Like, he was hungry.

02:56:14.000 And they've tried to help them.

02:56:16.000 And they've hung out with them for days on end.

02:56:18.000 It's really some amazing footage of those things.

02:56:21.000 But as far as I know, they very, very rarely attack people.

02:56:27.000 And that was the only incident that I had ever heard of where they had killed somebody.

02:56:30.000 But it was pretty recent.

02:56:31.000 Like within the last 10 years, I think.

02:56:33.000 Wow.

02:56:34.000 They don't look real, man.

02:56:35.000 Leopards?

02:56:36.000 Have you ever seen them?

02:56:37.000 That's one right there.

02:56:40.000 Look at the teeth on that thing. 0.96

02:56:44.000 Look at the fucking teeth in that thing. 1.00

02:56:46.000 Look at that.

02:56:47.000 She opened her mouth and her head was twice as large as a grizzly bear's head.

02:56:52.000 What in the fuck, man?

02:56:54.000 Like, how come when we were kids, we never heard about this?

02:56:57.000 Look at the size of that fucking thing.

02:56:59.000 So this is the leopard seal that was trying to feed the photographer.

02:57:04.000 So the photographer, what is this site, Jamie?

02:57:07.000 This is on Imager.

02:57:08.000 It's just a series of pictures.

02:57:10.000 You can find it, folks.

02:57:11.000 I have faith in you.

02:57:12.000 But they're worth looking at.

02:57:13.000 These photos are amazing.

02:57:15.000 This creature doesn't look real.

02:57:17.000 Like, look at the face on that thing with the teeth.

02:57:20.000 It looks like the thing from Neverending Story, like the smiling.

02:57:23.000 Yeah.

02:57:24.000 Where it's like, hey, man, you want some fish?

02:57:26.000 And just think about the mass of this thing.

02:57:28.000 Yeah.

02:57:29.000 With a face that's twice as large as a grizzly bear's head.

02:57:33.000 What?

02:57:34.000 What?

02:57:35.000 Just think about how fucking big a grizzly bear is, dude.

02:57:39.000 That's twice as big.

02:57:41.000 It's like this enormous avatar demon that lives in the water and eats penguins.

02:57:49.000 They're amazing, man.

02:57:50.000 They're amazing.

02:57:51.000 I mean, it's just one of the most astounding and overlooked, underappreciated animals in the ocean.

02:58:00.000 Yeah, I never knew any of this until right now.

02:58:03.000 It's a fucking mammal.

02:58:04.000 You know, I mean, look at that thing.

02:58:05.000 Just chilling there.

02:58:07.000 It's like smiling.

02:58:07.000 It's like, hey, man.

02:58:08.000 It's fucking a huge killing machine, man.

02:58:11.000 Bro, you need a penguin?

02:58:12.000 I got a guy.

02:58:13.000 I mean, when you think about seals, what do you think of?

02:58:15.000 You think, oh, those cute little fellows hanging out and eat some fish?

02:58:18.000 Not this motherfucker.

02:58:20.000 This is a murdering machine, and it's the biggest one, right?

02:58:23.000 So this is a big-ass giant seal that just kills shit.

02:58:28.000 What?

02:58:29.000 Like, do they hang with the other type of seals?

02:58:31.000 I wonder if the other seals have, like, websites dedicated to shitting on the leopard seals.

02:58:36.000 Or talk about leopard seals.

02:58:37.000 Leopard privilege.

02:58:38.000 Yeah.

02:58:39.000 Privilege and.

02:58:40.000 Prejudice, all of it.

02:58:42.000 Leopard seal privilege is real, bro.

02:58:42.000 Yeah.

02:58:44.000 It's so real.

02:58:45.000 It's the most real thing in the world.

02:58:48.000 You know what's fucked up is like sexism does exist.

02:58:52.000 You know, shit thinking does exist.

02:58:55.000 Like real hardline, dopey, right-wing ideology does exist.

02:59:01.000 But when you pretend that ideas that oppose you are those things, that all the ideas that oppose you are super alt-right.

02:59:08.000 And like, that's one of the things they've been doing with Jordan Peterson recently.

02:59:10.000 Oh, that's crazy.

02:59:11.000 Ask these, these, these, the authors of these articles about him of Charlottesville and all these different things, they've have him lumped, Jordan Peterson, have him lumped in.

02:59:21.000 And actually, not Charlottesville, because of the Google memo.

02:59:24.000 Have him lumped in with far-right.

02:59:26.000 They called him a far-right conservative.

02:59:28.000 It's just not true.

02:59:29.000 It's just not true.

02:59:30.000 Well, it also muddies the water so there's no meaning.

02:59:32.000 And they call him alt-right.

02:59:33.000 He's not alt-right.

02:59:35.000 He's goddamn, he's a professional intellectual.

02:59:37.000 So go to a genius.

02:59:38.000 He's absolutely a genius.

02:59:40.000 And a kind person from what I've heard about him.

02:59:43.000 Very sweet guy.

02:59:43.000 Very kind.

02:59:44.000 I really enjoy talking to him.

02:59:46.000 He's genuine.

02:59:47.000 And he has real concerns about all these things.

02:59:51.000 And I think very valid concerns, in particular about people wanting to enforce their ideas on other people and make people behave a very certain way.

03:00:01.000 And there's a real inclination that people have for that.

03:00:03.000 They really do.

03:00:04.000 And you're seeing that with Charlottesville.

03:00:07.000 I mean, part of the reaction to all this stuff, part of the reaction to all this stuff is realizing that this kind of thinking can exist, right?

03:00:16.000 This shit that you didn't expect to see can just pop up like that.

03:00:21.000 Like, I almost think we have to see it to know it's real.

03:00:25.000 Yeah, because I thought a lot of this was gone.

03:00:27.000 Like, I was fairly naive about it.

03:00:28.000 Because I hear people overuse these words all the time, and I'm like, no, these people are gone.

03:00:34.000 We beat these people.

03:00:34.000 We don't even want them adopt highways.

03:00:37.000 And you call other people Nazis that aren't that.

03:00:39.000 It fucks the whole thing up.

03:00:41.000 That's not a Nazi.

03:00:42.000 That's a Nazi. 0.54

03:00:43.000 There they are.

03:00:43.000 Right.

03:00:44.000 And you have to be able to identify it.

03:00:45.000 It's also extremely shitty to people that have been victims of actual Nazis where you're like, oh, a microaggression at Brown isn't my fucking grandmother in an oven.

03:00:59.000 That's not the same thing.

03:01:00.000 There's other words too, man.

03:01:02.000 I mean, the problem is that it's an indefensible word.

03:01:04.000 You call someone a Nazi and it's indefensible.

03:01:06.000 You put them on their back heels and then they have to deal with that.

03:01:08.000 Well, that's what annoyed me about the right when I was a kid was sinner or like because of Jesus.

03:01:14.000 Where it's like it's a conversation ender.

03:01:16.000 And that's why I saw almost that flip where now I see the left doing it where it's like racist.

03:01:22.000 It's like, dude, we're arguing about like a proton.

03:01:24.000 Like, what does this even mean?

03:01:25.000 It's just like a way to end a conversation.

03:01:27.000 And I'm like, it's starting to act.

03:01:29.000 Yeah, it's starting to act like a religion.

03:01:31.000 Exactly.

03:01:31.000 Where it's like white guilt is original sin and then being woke is baptism and veganism is kosher.

03:01:37.000 And it's starting to line up.

03:01:38.000 You know Kurt Metzger?

03:01:39.000 I do.

03:01:40.000 Love Kurt.

03:01:40.000 Yeah, he's a great guy.

03:01:41.000 He grew up Jehovah's Witness.

03:01:44.000 So, you know, he's super resistant to any like enforced ideology.

03:01:48.000 And he's like, no, no, no, I've seen this before.

03:01:50.000 You can't tell me what's right is wrong or right is left and left is right.

03:01:53.000 He's like, I know what you're doing.

03:01:54.000 I've seen this before.

03:01:55.000 I've seen this when I was a Jehovah's Witness.

03:01:57.000 And I was like, that's exactly what it's like.

03:01:59.000 It's like this enforcing this and silencing debate.

03:02:03.000 Like there was one of the things that was talked about in the Google memo that I thought was fascinating was that certain subjects are too sacred to be discussed.

03:02:11.000 And that is one of them, like gender and tech. 0.98

03:02:14.000 Apparently, I don't work in tech, obviously.

03:02:16.000 But gender in specific, like any women's issues, you're not supposed to discuss them as a man.

03:02:21.000 And any men's issue discussed by a woman is like the thought of a woman trying to steal your money or come up with sneak your divorce laws. 1.00

03:02:29.000 We don't want anybody having any opinion whatsoever about a side that they're not on.

03:02:35.000 And that's women's growth, and it's the opposite of science. 1.00

03:02:38.000 Like, science is skepticism.

03:02:40.000 The whole thing is ask why until you hit a wall.

03:02:43.000 You know, it isn't like, do not address this.

03:02:45.000 Yeah.

03:02:46.000 And people get labeled toxic and just kicked out.

03:02:48.000 Toxic is a dumb one.

03:02:50.000 Toxic is a dumb one.

03:02:51.000 Toxic masculinity.

03:02:53.000 And by the way, there's a lot of women that are evolutionary psychologists that know a shitload more about men than even men do.

03:02:59.000 Of course, for sure.

03:03:00.000 They do.

03:03:01.000 And you got to listen to them if they're explaining the actual evolutionary mechanisms that have caused human beings to behave a certain way, why more men are inclined to favor specific activities.

03:03:11.000 And you look at all the different numbers and variables that you could look at in terms of how many more men die on the job, how many more men pick difficult jobs.

03:03:18.000 And also this weird thing that we're doing where we're trying to pretend that things are different than they really are to sort of support your point better.

03:03:26.000 Like that's one of the things that people do with the gender pay gap, right? 1.00

03:03:28.000 They always want to say, well, the gender pay gap shows is real prejudice between men and women.

03:03:32.000 No, no, no, it's not what it shows at all.

03:03:34.000 It shows that women and men choose different jobs. 0.96

03:03:37.000 And when I told a good buddy of mine that, he didn't believe it.

03:03:40.000 He was like, there's no way.

03:03:41.000 I go, that's what the gender pay gap is. 1.00

03:03:42.000 He goes, no, I thought it was like women and men doing the same job, and the woman makes 77 cents on the dollar. 0.99

03:03:47.000 No, no, no, that would be horrible, right?

03:03:49.000 That's not what it is.

03:03:50.000 They choose different jobs.

03:03:52.000 You look at men and women doing the same job, the difference is very small.

03:03:55.000 And when he found that, he was angry.

03:03:57.000 He was like, are you fucking serious?

03:03:59.000 This happened to me.

03:03:59.000 I got pissed.

03:04:01.000 You get mad because you hear the president, President Obama was talking about that on television.

03:04:05.000 Surely someone must have alerted him, Mr. President.

03:04:08.000 This is a disingenuous line of thinking.

03:04:10.000 Mr. President, this is nonsense.

03:04:11.000 This is not real.

03:04:12.000 It's like they took every man and woman and just put a line at the 50th percentile.

03:04:16.000 And anyone who knows anything about math, that's insane.

03:04:19.000 Yeah.

03:04:20.000 Like there's so many factors.

03:04:21.000 It's the factor of having a child.

03:04:22.000 Oh, yeah.

03:04:23.000 Like, so then you quit for 10 years, you come back, you're going to make less money.

03:04:26.000 That all goes into the pay gap thing.

03:04:28.000 Or if you even quit for a few months.

03:04:29.000 I mean, you know, whatever it is, the time that you have to take off, that's going to, They work less hours, rather.

03:04:38.000 They take less overtime.

03:04:40.000 It doesn't mean that they're not just as good at a job as a man is at a job.

03:04:43.000 It just means that overall, they're probably going to earn less money in that sort of scenario.

03:04:48.000 They choose different jobs.

03:04:49.000 They work less hours.

03:04:50.000 That's just, I'm not saying that that's, you know, they don't get some sort of discrimination.

03:04:55.000 I wouldn't want to be a chick work with a bunch of dudes. 1.00

03:04:57.000 I wouldn't want to be that.

03:04:57.000 Yeah.

03:04:58.000 That's a different argument.

03:04:59.000 I think women working with guys, I think that would be terrible, especially if you're attractive. 1.00

03:05:03.000 If you're attractive women, you got to work with like 10 dickheads at some stupid fucking UPS office. 1.00

03:05:09.000 I bet it sucks.

03:05:10.000 I bet those guys are annoying as fuck.

03:05:12.000 They say stupid shit about you behind your back.

03:05:15.000 I'm sure it's horrible.

03:05:17.000 But that's a different argument.

03:05:18.000 100%.

03:05:19.000 It's not saying, okay, we're not saying that there's not some discrimination.

03:05:23.000 I'm sure there is.

03:05:24.000 But that's not saying that that's happening in tech to the point where there's a reason why there's 10 men and four women.

03:05:33.000 That doesn't necessarily make sense.

03:05:34.000 And as soon as you do that, like what you said, equality of outcome.

03:05:37.000 Exactly.

03:05:38.000 That's a perfect way to describe it.

03:05:39.000 Yeah, because it guarantees that you're going to have a problem.

03:05:42.000 And it also, the biggest victim are women that feel like they have to be a CEO and a mom to be like normal. 0.85

03:05:49.000 And it's like, that's an impossible position to put somebody in.

03:05:53.000 Where it's like if your instinct wants a child, but you don't want to slip at work at all, it's like, dude, working's for puds.

03:05:58.000 Like, my wife made life with her body. 1.00

03:06:01.000 And I'm just like, I did the funny bone.

03:06:03.000 Here's more money.

03:06:04.000 It's like.

03:06:05.000 I agree, but I also could see it from the point of view from a woman that doesn't want that in her life.

03:06:09.000 Oh, of course.

03:06:10.000 I'm just talking probability.

03:06:11.000 Just the fact they have a womb is going to affect probability. 0.98

03:06:14.000 You know, even if it's 1%.

03:06:16.000 Even if it's 1%.

03:06:16.000 Yeah.

03:06:17.000 I would never tell a woman that she has to have kids or not pursue any life that they want.

03:06:22.000 Not at all.

03:06:23.000 Well, I don't think anybody should tell anybody what to do.

03:06:25.000 I mean, that's the whole point of all this.

03:06:27.000 But I think we should also stop pretending that there's not some sort of meritocracy going on when it comes to most corporations and most jobs.

03:06:36.000 You know, whatever discrimination that there is, boy, I really hope that gets rooted out so we can concentrate on what's important.

03:06:42.000 And what's important is people finding something they enjoy and doing it without discrimination and doing it without, you know, having to deal with too much resistance from the people that you're doing it with.

03:06:50.000 You know, that's a harmonious life, right?

03:06:52.000 Find something you love.

03:06:53.000 Find some sort of a path of least resistance to get to it where you can really enjoy it and participate in it, hopefully with like-minded people.

03:07:00.000 Like one of the things that I've always been really happy about the store and about stand-up comedy in general is that it's a brotherhood and a sisterhood.

03:07:08.000 Like when Whitney Cummings comes around the comedy store, she's as much my brother or sister as any of the other guys, as Andrew Santino, as any of these guys.

03:07:16.000 We're a family there.

03:07:17.000 Of course.

03:07:17.000 And there's not a whole lot of us.

03:07:19.000 There's very few.

03:07:20.000 And if you get through and you're funny, if you're Sarah Silverman or, you know, name that person, you're treated with the same amount of respect that guys are.

03:07:26.000 At least I would hope.

03:07:27.000 At least in the circles of the people that I enjoy you are.

03:07:30.000 At least you're held up to the same standards as well.

03:07:34.000 And you're also like, you ask people who's funny.

03:07:39.000 We like funny people.

03:07:41.000 If you say, hey, did you see Sarah do her set in the main room?

03:07:44.000 Holy shit, did she fucking crush, dude?

03:07:46.000 Like people will tell you.

03:07:47.000 And it's like, there's no sexism when it comes to that.

03:07:49.000 It's a total results-based appreciation standard.

03:07:54.000 Yeah, it's like fighting and comedy is the same way.

03:07:56.000 The stakes are so high, you develop a no-nonsense vibe where it's like, dude, bombing sucks.

03:08:02.000 So like I can't say, like, I have to just be like, what joke is funny?

03:08:06.000 Like, I can't do the nonsense.

03:08:07.000 Just like with fighting, it's like, well, if you commit to just, you know, taekwondo and not do the full package of jiu-jitsu and all that shit, like you're at a disadvantage.

03:08:16.000 So it's like that, that identity can hurt you if you don't branch out into like what works.

03:08:21.000 You know, I don't know shit about fighting, obviously, but I've just heard you talk about like just that well-rounded grappling and striking and all that shit.

03:08:28.000 Like the stakes are so high That you can't really be nonsense.

03:08:32.000 The only other option is you got to be a specialist at such a high level that you're better than everybody else at one thing.

03:08:38.000 Like you get that with this guy, Damian Maya, who just lost actually, to a guy who's more well-rounded, ironically.

03:08:45.000 But he's been able to beat so many world-class fighters just because he's so amazing at jiu-jitsu, gets a hold of guys, drags him to the ground, and either strangles him or gets really close to strangling him to the point where he dominates all the exchanges.

03:08:55.000 He's done that with like, I think he beat six or seven guys in a row, and really good guys, by really, like Carlos Condit, former interim welterweight champion, strangled him, got him on the ground, choked him out.

03:09:06.000 So it's like, there's a few guys that can do that, but for the most part, you got to be able to do everything.

03:09:10.000 And I think if you have blind spots when it comes to like things that you, if you're like, if you're a blind spot, the blind spot is you don't respect women.

03:09:22.000 Or you have a blind spot, you don't like black people, or you don't like gay people.

03:09:25.000 If you have a real blind spot, that's going to emanate through all your thinking.

03:09:30.000 Totally.

03:09:30.000 It's going to fuck up your logic and how you look at anything that happens in the world that you try to turn into a bit.

03:09:35.000 That prejudice thinking, like if you have that kind of stupid hate and anger or resentment, whatever it is in your mind where you're not thinking clearly, you're going to miss things.

03:09:46.000 You're not going to be as good as you want to be.

03:09:49.000 You're not going to be at your best.

03:09:50.000 That's why I do a podcast, Why Didn't They Laugh?

03:09:54.000 Where like I literally just, I don't always do it because I'm not always on the road, but I'll just show bombs and just almost like it's like sports where I'm like, why didn't that work?

03:10:05.000 And it motivated me to try shit a lot because I was like, okay, I got an hour.

03:10:09.000 I got to want to do another hour.

03:10:11.000 So let's make it fun that like I get to be like, oh, this one was on me.

03:10:15.000 I rushed this one.

03:10:16.000 You know, this tag offended Miami.

03:10:19.000 You know, like shit like that.

03:10:20.000 Like where it's humbling to re-listen to yourself and show people.

03:10:24.000 Like I did a documentary 60 Minutes in Seven Days where I wrote a new hour in a week just to just shop.

03:10:30.000 Oh, I remember that.

03:10:31.000 Yeah.

03:10:32.000 You did that a few years back, right?

03:10:33.000 When you were out here?

03:10:33.000 Yeah, my wife was pregnant.

03:10:34.000 So it was like maybe, yeah, two years, maybe.

03:10:37.000 And so it would just be like, watch me just struggle, you know?

03:10:43.000 And I maybe got 15 minutes out of it, but it was just like heavy bag work.

03:10:46.000 You're amazing, though.

03:10:47.000 You got 15 minutes in that short of a time.

03:10:49.000 Like, how long would it take you to make 15 minutes in a normal time?

03:10:52.000 I mean, if I'm in the wrong mindset, like we discussed, I could do that for 30 years.

03:10:57.000 You see guys do that, you know?

03:10:59.000 If you're like in the mindset of like, oh, this works, so I'm just going to do that.

03:11:03.000 But if you're in the growth mindset, you're like, because I love doing new shit, you know?

03:11:07.000 Well, isn't it interesting like you coming from a music background, like you've been playing piano, like you said, as long as you can remember.

03:11:14.000 That requires practice, right?

03:11:16.000 It requires dedication.

03:11:18.000 You have to be dedicated and sit down and practice.

03:11:20.000 That is one of the major things that comedians lack.

03:11:23.000 They don't practice.

03:11:24.000 We don't write.

03:11:26.000 We don't sit down and go over the material.

03:11:28.000 We don't listen to the old recordings.

03:11:30.000 Like when I force myself into doing that just four or five times a week, just force myself for an hour at a time.

03:11:34.000 It's like a giant accomplishment.

03:11:36.000 Yeah.

03:11:37.000 And sometimes it hurts, especially to listen to old sets.

03:11:40.000 Like, oh my God, just the mistakes.

03:11:43.000 And like, even when you were like, okay, there was a crazy bomb in that one.

03:11:46.000 It's going to make for a great episode.

03:11:48.000 And then, and then like my instincts are like, you don't want to relive that, man.

03:11:52.000 It's like that bachelorette party.

03:11:54.000 Like, dude, I got spit on on Christmas.

03:11:57.000 You know?

03:11:57.000 Did you make a video about that?

03:11:58.000 Yeah.

03:11:59.000 Yeah.

03:11:59.000 I saw that video.

03:12:01.000 And it was like, you know, there's a strong instinct of me to put out my best shit all the time.

03:12:08.000 But like part of me also wants to be like, this also happens, man.

03:12:13.000 You know?

03:12:14.000 Like, even like shit, you know, I'll be playing like Beethoven, like, my blinkers on with like, with like jokes, and I'll just die.

03:12:22.000 And I'm like, why didn't they laugh?

03:12:25.000 People are in India. 0.71

03:12:26.000 They just decide somewhere along the line.

03:12:27.000 I don't like this guy.

03:12:28.000 A little too tall for my taste.

03:12:30.000 Fuck this guy.

03:12:31.000 Wearing a suit.

03:12:31.000 This guy was some kind of gay guy.

03:12:34.000 Probably anti-white power.

03:12:37.000 Probably doesn't even have a tattoo on his forehead.

03:12:39.000 Where's your fucking swastika, bar?

03:12:41.000 Got it on your ass cheek. 0.86

03:12:42.000 I was in Kansas City once.

03:12:43.000 I walked out in a suit and someone yelled faggot before I said one word.

03:12:46.000 Whoa.

03:12:48.000 Literally just goes, I was like, I haven't said one word.

03:12:48.000 Good club.

03:12:52.000 It's a good work environment.

03:12:53.000 Yeah.

03:12:53.000 Imagine any other job.

03:12:54.000 We show up for work and they just scream faggot at you and they paid to be there. 1.00

03:12:58.000 Yeah, it's called systemic oppression.

03:13:00.000 There's any other job that would never be accepted.

03:13:02.000 Insane.

03:13:03.000 Just people throw shit at you.

03:13:04.000 Imagine if you're like a school teacher.

03:13:04.000 Yeah.

03:13:06.000 Dude, I used to be a heckler at a Renaissance Festival in a stock.

03:13:09.000 Yeah, that was my high school job.

03:13:10.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

03:13:11.000 And people were throwing tomatoes in my face all day long.

03:13:13.000 And you'd mock them?

03:13:14.000 Mock them.

03:13:15.000 That's what I learned.

03:13:16.000 I learned to mock what people have pride in, not what is.

03:13:19.000 Where it's like a 400-pound man, fatness doesn't matter.

03:13:22.000 Someone 10 pounds overweight, it'll crush them. 0.75

03:13:26.000 Ooh, that's good.

03:13:27.000 That's good.

03:13:28.000 Yeah, where it's like.

03:13:29.000 Get a little fucking soft in the middle there, Michael.

03:13:32.000 What?

03:13:32.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:13:34.000 Your wife's too hot for you. 1.00

03:13:34.000 What? 1.00

03:13:35.000 I'm fucking young me, TikTok, TikTok.

03:13:38.000 You know, they freak out.

03:13:39.000 Because I was getting paid based on the tomato thrown.

03:13:41.000 Oh.

03:13:42.000 So I had to like.

03:13:44.000 It was $5 for three tomatoes, and my goal was always to beat the joust.

03:13:50.000 And dude, I used to get drunk on mead and just let people slap me in the face for $20.

03:13:54.000 $20 a full power slap?

03:13:57.000 I would judge the man.

03:13:59.000 But like, it would be like, because people wouldn't be able to hit me if I got in their head.

03:14:03.000 They'd just like throw into the ground.

03:14:05.000 Oh, wow.

03:14:05.000 It was like, once you own it.

03:14:07.000 But my friends, I was like Kurt Metzkurt.

03:14:10.000 You know, didn't fall for the shit.

03:14:11.000 Like, I'd be like, you.

03:14:12.000 And it's like, now we know you're just Owen.

03:14:14.000 When just unleashed.

03:14:17.000 That's hilarious.

03:14:18.000 Yeah.

03:14:19.000 That's funny.

03:14:20.000 Dude, I got to wrap this up.

03:14:21.000 It's almost five o'clock.

03:14:22.000 Wow.

03:14:23.000 Dude, this is great.

03:14:23.000 Time flew by.

03:14:24.000 Four hours and like 15 minutes, about 15 minutes.

03:14:27.000 It's definitely a highlight of my week.

03:14:29.000 Dude, thank you very much, man.

03:14:31.000 I really enjoyed it.

03:14:31.000 It was fun, Owen.

03:14:32.000 I'm glad we did it.

03:14:33.000 We should do it again, for sure.

03:14:34.000 Anytime.

03:14:34.000 Oh, tell people how to find you on Instagram, Twitter, all that job.

03:14:38.000 Hugepianist.com and at Owen Benjamin.

03:14:42.000 Pianist, Pianist.

03:14:43.000 Piano player.

03:14:43.000 Pianist, yeah.

03:14:44.000 Yeah, and I got Dallas, Plano, and the United Kingdom and Ireland coming up.

03:14:47.000 Beautiful.

03:14:48.000 Funny, dude.

03:14:48.000 Yeah.

03:14:49.000 Owen Benjamin, ladies and gentlemen.

03:14:50.000 Thanks, Joe.

03:14:51.000 Good night.

03:14:51.000 See you tomorrow.

03:14:52.000 Cheers.

03:14:52.000 Bye.

03:14:53.000 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for tuning into the podcast.

03:14:57.000 Thanks to meUndies for creating one of my balls through this Entire interview.

03:15:01.000 Appreciate you.

03:15:04.000 Now until August 31st, get 20% off your first pair plus free shipping at meundies.com forward slash Rogan.

03:15:12.000 Thank you also to Squarespace.

03:15:14.000 Make yourself a motherfucker of a website at squarespace.com forward slash Joe.

03:15:20.000 Go there.

03:15:20.000 For a free trial and 10% off your first purchase, visit squarespace.com forward slash Joe.

03:15:28.000 And thank you each and every episode to Onit.

03:15:31.000 Our goal is your total human optimization.

03:15:34.000 Motherfuckers. 1.00

03:15:36.000 Oh, and IT, use the code word Rogan and save 10% off any and all supplements.

03:15:42.000 Okay.

03:15:43.000 God, that was fun.

03:15:44.000 Nice to be back.

03:15:45.000 Had a good time.

03:15:46.000 Good time while I was away, but now I'm back.

03:15:49.000 All right.

03:15:49.000 I'll see you guys tomorrow.

03:15:50.000 Oh, tomorrow we have two podcasts.

03:15:50.000 Much love.

03:15:53.000 I'm doing one with Tom Billieu.

03:15:56.000 Ooh.

03:15:57.000 If that was my name, I'd be self-conscious.

03:15:59.000 It's too hard to pronounce.

03:16:00.000 This guy's going to fuck it up.

03:16:01.000 Like, if you leave your name at like the Maitre D at a restaurant.

03:16:06.000 Tom Billie.

03:16:12.000 B-I-L-Y-E-U. 1.00

03:16:16.000 It's a tricky one.

03:16:17.000 Anyway, he's on tomorrow at 1.30.

03:16:19.000 But I also have Brendan Schaub who'll be on at 10 a.m.

03:16:22.000 And we're going to do a breakdown of the Conor McGregor Floyd Mayweather fight.

03:16:27.000 Perhaps two hours of breaking down that fight and getting silly.

03:16:33.000 That should be fun.

03:16:35.000 All right.

03:16:36.000 And then, but of course, on Friday, August 18th, it will be the JRE 1000.

03:16:45.000 Dun dun dun.

03:16:48.000 The 1000th episode.

03:16:50.000 Holy shit.

03:16:52.000 Crazy.

03:16:54.000 With two of the funniest people ever.

03:16:56.000 Tom Segura and Joey Diaz.

03:16:58.000 I cannot wait.

03:17:00.000 I cannot wait.

03:17:01.000 That will be on Friday.

03:17:02.000 All right.

03:17:03.000 And then we have that show Friday night, which is at the comedy store, which is all sold out.

03:17:08.000 So see you guys soon.

03:17:10.000 Bye.

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 16, 2017

Joe Rogan Experience #998 - Owen Benjamin

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