The Matt Walsh Show - Ep. 587 - Leftist Witch Hunters Burn Chris Pratt At The Stake

00:00:00.000 Today on the Matt Wall Show, Chris Pratt has been trending on social media all week,

00:00:04.500 thanks in large part to leftists who think he might be a Trump supporter because he didn't

00:00:08.840 attend a Biden fundraiser with other Marvel actors. This is how the modern witch hunt works.

00:00:14.800 We'll talk about that. Also five headlines, including Biden finally responding to the

00:00:19.380 Hunter Biden scandal, sort of. And the city of Miami holds a press conference because people

00:00:24.080 are offended by a face mask worn by a Miami police officer. There was a press conference,

00:00:29.600 was necessary for this issue. Finally, in our daily cancellation, I will cancel birthdays.

00:00:34.280 All of that coming up. But first, I want to tell you about an exciting new sponsor,

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00:01:43.560 for 20% off. All right. Well, you know, if you had the misfortune of living in 17th century colonial

00:01:50.640 Massachusetts, it would not have taken much for you to be labeled a witch. Those suspected of

00:01:56.120 witchcraft and executed for it didn't need to be seen flying through the air in a broom. Some were

00:02:01.140 burned simply for associating with others who were suspected of being witches. Some for having certain

00:02:06.420 physical traits thought to be marks of witchery. Your age, your gender, your social class, your family,

00:02:12.600 all of these were thought to be passive clues, potentially indicating that you are a witch or 0.78

00:02:18.200 possibly a witch or witch adjacent. Now, we would like to think that things are different now in

00:02:23.920 our enlightened times, but humans are humans. And the witch trials were born from the very human

00:02:30.100 tendency to invent new enemies in our heads and then to suddenly find them everywhere we turn.

00:02:36.340 We have many such boogeymen in our culture. They're more likely to be punished with mock 0.92

00:02:42.580 mockery and alienation rather than incineration. But as we've seen, the latter option, incineration,

00:02:48.080 hasn't been taken off the table entirely, especially recently. The actor Chris Pratt has experienced

00:02:53.340 all of this this week and not for the first time experiencing the wrath of the modern witch hunters.

00:02:59.740 His suspected crime being a Christian, a conservative, and worst of all, a Trump voter. Now, while Pratt 0.76

00:03:06.260 is a professed Christian and does seem to perhaps be more politically conservative than the average

00:03:11.660 Hollywood celebrity, which is sort of like calling him cleaner than the average dumpster cat,

00:03:16.900 there's no reason to actually think that Chris Pratt supports Trump. There's even less reason to

00:03:21.260 care if he does or doesn't. But the witch hunters on the left cannot tolerate dissent, even theoretically, 0.71

00:03:27.780 and especially not from someone in a profession or demographic group of which they have claimed

00:03:33.600 ownership. And that is why Pratt has been trending on social media all week for days now. Not because

00:03:41.240 leftists are outraged by things that he has said or beliefs he has professed, which would be bad enough

00:03:46.980 if that were the reason, but because of their suspicions about beliefs he might hold. As Twitter

00:03:53.400 describes it, you can see here on their trending section, the Chris Pratt controversy that has sparked

00:03:59.540 over 260,000 tweets is focused on, quote, his alleged political and religious beliefs.

00:04:06.760 Now, this seems to have started with news that some Avenger actors are taking part in a Joe Biden

00:04:12.340 virtual fundraiser cringely titled Voters Assemble. Marvel luminaries like Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson,

00:04:19.780 Mark Ruffalo, Don Cheadle, Paul Rudd, Zoe Saldana, all volunteered for the noble clause. But a few actors

00:04:26.440 were missing from the Biden fundraiser roster, and this fact became cause for great concern.

00:04:31.780 Now, it was apparently decided that some of the missing superheroes should be given an excused

00:04:36.180 absence because they're not from this country, like the guy who plays Spider-Man. Spider-Man's

00:04:40.180 off the hook. But Chris Pratt has no such alibi. And this raised suspicion. As an article in the AV

00:04:46.140 Club put it, quote, the fundraiser will feature a trivia game and Q&A, which we hope will at least be

00:04:51.220 partially dedicated to asking about every single member of the Avengers who isn't there. A good number of

00:04:56.060 them aren't from the U.S., so we can't expect them to clean up our mess in this dumb country. 0.99

00:05:00.200 But this is the second one of these Biden fundraiser reunion things that Chris Pratt has 0.97

00:05:05.240 missed out on. We theorized last time that he's either a Republican or just wants everyone to get

00:05:10.300 along and can't endorse anyone since he's all buff and churchy now. But we'll have to wait and see

00:05:15.540 what happens if the Biden campaign organizes an Everwood reunion. From there, it was off to the races,

00:05:20.960 with great numbers of people attacking Chris Pratt for what they assume his political views

00:05:26.260 probably are. And the circumstantial evidence that Pratt secretly wears MAGA hats in his spare time

00:05:32.140 goes beyond his absence at a Biden fundraiser. We should note he also attends, according to leftist

00:05:37.760 critics, including fellow actor Ellen Page, an anti-LGBT church. So that's a red flag. Plus, as Vanity Fair

00:05:45.080 points out, quote, Pratt's personal life has also led to speculation about his politics. Last year,

00:05:50.460 Pratt married Catherine Schwarzenegger, daughter of Arnold Schwarzenegger, a longtime Republican.

00:05:56.240 Though the article points out that Catherine publicly supports Biden. So at least someone in

00:06:01.520 the Pratt household isn't a white supremacist. That's good. Other media outlets have weighed in.

00:06:07.140 Now, listen to this. Newsweek ran a fact check analyzing the claims that Pratt is, quote,

00:06:14.040 allegedly a Republican and Trump supporter. The article sifts through all the clues,

00:06:19.060 looking at all the different evidence, eventually landing on the verdict of unknown. Newsweek says,

00:06:24.560 we cannot verify if Pratt is a Trump supporter because he hasn't confirmed it. The Hollywood

00:06:28.860 actor has not shown any support publicly for the president or his Democratic challenger, Joe Biden.

00:06:35.200 But unknown isn't good enough, especially when Pratt, as some on Twitter have pointed out,

00:06:41.380 follows notorious Nazis like Ben Shapiro and Dan Crenshaw. If Pratt wants to absolve himself of his

00:06:49.800 assumed thought crimes, he has to come out and publicly support Biden and denounce Trump. Anything

00:06:55.800 less will be insufficient. Now, to the credit, many of Pratt's castmates have come to his defense

00:07:03.900 against the slobbering mindless hordes. But they've come in for harsh criticism because of that,

00:07:10.240 especially Zoe Saldana, who was attacked with racial slurs by the racially tolerant left. 0.97

00:07:16.260 One person calling her a nasty biracial woman. Another saying they're, quote, tired of defending 0.56

00:07:22.420 your cracker loving ass. Adding, of course, shut up. Along with many other comments that I just can't 1.00

00:07:28.600 read out loud. All of this, again, it cannot be emphasized enough. Merely because of political

00:07:35.060 views that the man might hold. So gone are the days when people can be viciously attacked for the

00:07:42.100 opinions they express. Well, those days are still here. But we're now living in a time when you can

00:07:46.420 be attacked for opinions you did not express. Silence is violence, as the slogan goes. And the people

00:07:52.380 who say that really mean it. Now, I don't say this just because I'm a conservative. It really is true.

00:07:58.600 That only one side of the ideological divide behaves this way. And that's at least partially

00:08:04.640 a reflection of just how dominant and mainstream leftism is. It still positions itself, of course,

00:08:11.500 as the counterculture, but it isn't. It is the culture. And now, having won every major battle and

00:08:18.060 seized nearly all of the cultural power, it can concern itself with issues like Chris Pratt's

00:08:23.260 theoretical political leanings. Only the dominant culture and the dominant cultural narrative can

00:08:29.160 demand allegiance to this extent. Counterculture movements aren't usually the ones conducting witch 0.66

00:08:33.800 hunts. And this is what makes all the talk about resistance from the left so absurd. What are you

00:08:39.720 resisting? What is the resistance resisting? You own everything. Just this week, Sony became the

00:08:46.000 latest of dozens and dozens of billion-dollar corporations to endorse Black Lives Matter.

00:08:49.920 And this only a few days after was announced that one of the Marxist co-founders of BLM has inked a

00:08:54.700 major deal with Warner Brothers. What type of counterculture movement has billion-dollar sponsors

00:09:00.880 and contracts with major Hollywood studios? A fraudulent one. That's what type. The left dresses up in

00:09:08.700 costumes, the costume of outsiders and radicals, and complains about alleged oppression. And then they

00:09:15.680 charge out into the street to fight enemies they've already defeated, and monsters that don't exist.

00:09:21.260 So instead, they burn down a CVS, steal a few armloads of shoes, call it a day, go home, tweet about why a

00:09:28.020 Marvel actor is persecuting them by not saying anything at all. This is the behavior of the comfortable,

00:09:33.960 the victorious, the victorious, and the bored. And that's what leftism is. But what it is not,

00:09:42.820 certainly most of all, is counterculture. Let's get to our five headlines.

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00:11:14.240 to insurance, it's nice to get it right. Well, Joe Biden has for the first time answered a question

00:11:19.660 about the Hunter Biden email, sort of. It's amazing. Well, not amazing, but it should be amazing.

00:11:25.640 That he was able to go this long without being forced to answer about this. And he was finally

00:11:32.080 asked about it during an interview with a local reporter in Wisconsin. So it wasn't even a...

00:11:37.800 Of course, if he was on CNN or MSNBC, this question would not have come up.

00:11:41.860 But he was on a local news channel in Wisconsin. And here's how that went.

00:11:45.360 So Wisconsin's Republican Senator Ron Johnson put out a statement on Homeland Security letterhead

00:11:52.060 saying Hunter Biden, together with other Biden family members, profited off the Biden name.

00:11:56.760 Is there any legitimacy to Senator Johnson's claims?

00:12:00.380 None whatsoever. This is the same garbage Rudy Giuliani, Trump's henchman. It's a last-ditch 1.00

00:12:08.260 effort in this desperate campaign to smear me and my family. Even the man who served with him on that

00:12:14.060 committee, the former nominee for the Republican Party, said there's no basis to this. And the vast

00:12:22.320 majority of the intelligence people have come out and said there's no basis at all. Ron should be

00:12:27.640 ashamed of himself.

00:12:29.140 Now, notice what he doesn't say. He doesn't say that the emails are a fabrication. He doesn't even

00:12:33.140 mention the emails. He doesn't say that they're a fabrication. He doesn't say they're fake.

00:12:36.280 He doesn't say the laptop story is a hoax. He doesn't say that. He denies. He doesn't confirm

00:12:41.940 it explicitly. But he doesn't say, if these were a hoax and just made up, I mean, if someone,

00:12:49.100 if Rudy Giuliani or whoever is making this up, and that is the claim you still get from the left

00:12:57.380 and the media, if that were the case, then Joe Biden would say so. He would come out and say,

00:13:02.920 this is totally made up and ridiculous. He doesn't say that. 0.99

00:13:06.520 Um, and you know, it, it, it's, it's just not credible then at this point to say that it's a

00:13:13.900 hoax or Russian disinformation when even Joe Biden himself is not saying that.

00:13:20.240 All right. Um, number two, a video has been making the rounds online. It apparently shows a city

00:13:25.780 official finding a restaurant owner in New York for the crime of, no, he wasn't, he wasn't like having

00:13:31.820 indoor diners when he wasn't supposed to, or no, he just, he had his door open. Apparently that's

00:13:37.380 the crime. And this is what happened. Because my doors are open. I want to understand that.

00:13:44.860 Well, if you don't want to, you don't need to sign it. I know you're recording me.

00:13:48.880 That's fine. I'm allowed to record you. I'm going to give you a copy.

00:13:52.180 You're giving me a ticket because my doors are open, sir.

00:13:55.640 The charges found out here.

00:13:57.640 There's nobody sitting in the restaurant. Everything is okay. You're giving me a ticket

00:14:01.180 because my doors are open.

00:14:04.180 What if my store is hot? I'm not allowed to open the door because the store is hot.

00:14:08.740 I haven't even spelled out in the salmons. I'm going to give you a copy.

00:14:14.920 Can I have your name, please? Is it in the report, but it's not fair that only because my

00:14:20.000 doors are open and I'm getting a violation, you know, I'm struggling here every single

00:14:24.960 day is hard for me. And there was nobody inside the store, obviously, because we don't

00:14:29.520 have dining. We only have takeout. There was nobody in the store and I'm only getting a

00:14:35.100 ticket because my doors are open. Can you just please repeat that sentence while I'm

00:14:39.420 getting a violation? It's because I'm operating in a red zone with... What is that?

00:14:44.960 In the red zone. You're only supposed to do pickup and delivery at the door. Everything is spelled

00:14:50.640 out here in the sentence. But I'm doing pickup and delivery. When the guy walked in, I told him

00:14:55.120 to step outside. That was not good enough? I'm not here to argue. I'm just recording.

00:15:02.040 That's enraging, obviously. And you want to talk about being unified and bipartisan,

00:15:08.920 if that's possible at all. This should be bipartisan rage at something like that. I don't

00:15:13.000 know what that business owner's politics are. It doesn't matter to me. It's completely insane.

00:15:17.760 It's hard enough. If you are a restaurant owner, you know this, or in many other businesses too.

00:15:23.680 Hard enough to stay afloat. But when you have local government officials, local little petty

00:15:31.580 tyrants coming in, trying to make it even harder for you, completely arbitrary reasons. He had the

00:15:38.100 door open. So what? What's the fear here that he has the coronavirus and it'll somehow escape from

00:15:45.720 the door and float down the street and attack somebody? What is the fear? What's the worst case

00:15:50.980 scenario? Keeping the door open. In what way is that going to contribute to the... Isn't it better

00:15:57.700 to have it open? Have air circulation? Speaking of which, speaking of not having air circulation,

00:16:03.180 this is at a different restaurant, also in New York. A new innovation here. You can see bubble dining.

00:16:10.900 So we've got people who are sitting outside of a restaurant at a table, but they're in plastic

00:16:16.940 bubbles. And this again is the flaw, one of the many flaws in the do something approach

00:16:23.860 that I talk about. This restaurant figured that we got to do something. If something's

00:16:30.540 better than nothing, now we'll just put them in bubbles. No, no. In fact, it's not better

00:16:35.280 than nothing. Nothing would be a lot better in this case. Because now, rather than people

00:16:40.560 eating outdoors with lots of air circulation, where the risk of transmission is very low,

00:16:47.000 now they're in a very tight enclosed space with other people sitting and talking for extended

00:16:53.380 periods of time, the waiters have to enter the bubble to take the order. And presumably,

00:16:58.540 the next group of people are going to be in that bubble too. So some of the particles ejected by the

00:17:06.140 one group will still be floating in the air, and then someone else gets into the bubble.

00:17:08.740 Another group. Oh yeah, but I'm sure the waitstaff will come and spray it down with a little

00:17:15.140 Lysol. That'll kill everything. That'll be fine. So this, you could not think of a, if you were

00:17:21.640 trying to come up with a way, like a mechanism by which to transmit the coronavirus, you couldn't

00:17:28.800 think of a better way. This is a very efficient coronavirus transmission device is what they've

00:17:35.000 come up with, in the name of protecting people from the coronavirus, when they could have done

00:17:39.380 nothing and just let people eat outside. Or you know what, even eat inside. You're going to put them

00:17:44.580 in bubbles, why not just put them inside? Number three, a new Biden ad played during a game one of

00:17:50.640 the World Series. As a side note, I just now learned that the World Series is happening, so that's

00:17:54.620 interesting. This ad is getting some buzz, people saying it's a great ad. Tell me what you think.

00:17:59.560 There is only one America, no democratic rivers, no Republican mountains, just this great land

00:18:14.100 and all that's possible on it with a fresh start. Cures we can find, futures we can shape,

00:18:25.280 work to reward. Dignity to protect. There is so much we can do if we choose to take on problems

00:18:37.560 and not each other. And choose a president who brings out our best. Joe Biden doesn't need everyone

00:18:46.400 in this country to always agree. Just to agree, we all love this country. And go from there.

00:18:56.280 I'm Joe Biden, and I approve this message. Now, it is a good ad. Bad products often have good ads.

00:19:05.100 Case in point, on occasion you see a good Pepsi ad, even though it's a terrible product. But if you

00:19:11.140 actually understand what's happening in our country, and you're clued in, the ad is also slightly

00:19:16.240 creepy. Like something from an alternate dimension. Because the side that's been stirring up riots,

00:19:21.820 the side that calls the opposition Nazis, the side that says America is systemically racist, 0.98

00:19:26.220 white males are toxic racist, the side that's hunting down Chris Pratt because he didn't attend 0.97

00:19:32.300 a Biden fundraiser, this is the side now that we're getting this unity and togetherness stuff from. 0.99

00:19:38.480 Oh, and the side that protests the national anthem, tears down our monuments, spits on our historical

00:19:45.460 heroes, chants America was never great, wants us to agree that we all love this country and go from

00:19:52.700 there. I wish that were true. I wish we could agree on that. That'd be great if we could agree on that.

00:19:57.440 We obviously can't. I wish everything in this ad were true. But it's not. It's a fable. It's

00:20:03.800 designed to dupe the credulous and the ignorant. And it just might work, unfortunately. Number four, 0.99

00:20:11.320 there's been outrage over a police officer in Miami who apparently was at a polling station in full

00:20:15.660 uniform wearing a Trump 2020 mask. The police chief issued a statement about it. And then also the mayor

00:20:22.120 of the city held a press conference about the police officer in a mask.

00:20:26.260 We were made aware of a police officer who was wearing a political face mask while in

00:20:32.420 city of Miami police uniform. The department has confirmed that the photograph was taken while the

00:20:39.100 officer was in line to vote. The city of Miami and the Miami police department do not support or

00:20:45.160 endorse any candidate for political party or elected office. The involved officer was not authorized to

00:20:51.780 wear a mask with a political messaging, nor was he given any administrative direction to support a

00:20:57.600 particular candidate or political party. His actions have violated departmental policy and he will be

00:21:03.780 disciplined. It's inappropriate. It's a violation of departmental orders. You know, a police officer is supposed to be

00:21:08.680 impartial. So irrespective of who the person was, whatever sign it would have been, it would have been

00:21:14.460 problematic and something that we cannot condone and we do not accept. And so he's going to be

00:21:21.140 disciplined for it. Now, yes, cops shouldn't be publicly supporting a candidate while at a polling

00:21:25.600 station in uniform, or no matter where they are, if they're in uniform, they shouldn't be expressing

00:21:30.600 political views. True. But also get a grip. Did a cop's face mask really require a damned press conference?

00:21:40.300 You had to have a press conference over that. And of course, the claims online, this is voter suppression, 0.98

00:21:46.960 voter suppression. How's it voter suppression? It didn't stop you from going to the polls.

00:21:52.760 What, are you going to show up at the polls? You see a cop in a Biden or a Trump face mask,

00:21:56.700 and what, you get scared and run away? Come on. And I don't blame this cop for doing what he did.

00:22:03.120 Shouldn't have done it. I don't blame him. Their lives are literally on the line here. Democrats like

00:22:08.180 Biden are out spreading the outrageous myth and conspiracy theory that cops are hunting and murdering 0.99

00:22:13.980 black people. Of course, not true. It's getting cops killed. Democrats also want to defund the police. 1.00

00:22:19.780 Biden thinks that cops should have to shoot dangerous criminals in the leg.

00:22:25.540 So they're openly taking the side of violent criminals. They don't care if cops get killed. 0.97

00:22:31.220 So instead of asking why this police officer is wearing that mask,

00:22:35.380 maybe ask why he feels so strongly about it that he would risk his career to wear it.

00:22:40.880 That to me is the more relevant question here. Number five, finally, it has long been known

00:22:48.420 that a sequel to one of cinema's great masterpieces is in the works, Space Jam 2, starring LeBron James.

00:22:55.400 Going to be released in 2021 sometime, I assume. Now, I'm skeptical of the sequel already for a couple of reasons.

00:23:01.700 First of all, LeBron James is a propagandist and a phony who casually stokes riots and racial tensions,

00:23:06.320 so that's an issue for me. But also, Space Jam, the first one, was one of the formative films of my childhood.

00:23:12.920 And I think it features some of the most emotional and affecting scenes you'll see in any film.

00:23:18.200 When Jordan emerges from the cartoon spaceship at the very end and onto the baseball diamond to the sound of R. Kelly singing

00:23:26.660 after winning a basketball game against aliens who are trying to enslave Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck,

00:23:31.840 that's one of those moments in film that sticks with you and molds you and shapes you.

00:23:36.920 Can the sequel live up to those heights?

00:23:39.380 Well, the synopsis has leaked, apparently.

00:23:42.800 This is from Ben Meckler on Twitter. He's apparently a director and writer himself.

00:23:47.520 He says, this is a synopsis of the new Space Jam.

00:23:49.960 During a trip to the Warner Brothers studio, NBA superstar LeBron James and his son accidentally get trapped

00:23:56.460 within a world that contains all of Warner Brothers' stories and characters

00:23:59.420 under the control of a malfunctioning, all-powerful force named AIG, played by Don Cheadle.

00:24:05.940 With the help of Bugs Bunny, LeBron must navigate through a never-before-imagined world

00:24:09.880 with iconic movie scenes and characters as they reassemble the Looney Tunes to rescue his lost son.

00:24:14.960 Now, to get back home, LeBron and the Toons have to unravel AIG's mysterious plan

00:24:19.820 and win an epic basketball game against digital, gamified super versions of the NBA and WNBA's biggest stars

00:24:26.860 as the entire world watches.

00:24:29.520 That's apparently the synopsis.

00:24:33.920 A few issues here.

00:24:34.560 Number one, the WNBA's biggest stars? 0.99

00:24:38.180 Do you mean like biggest as in physically?

00:24:39.940 Because the WNBA doesn't have big stars at all in any other sense, so that's a problem. 1.00

00:24:47.560 Also, mainly this just sounds like a lengthy, elaborate commercial for Warner Brothers

00:24:51.920 and their other brands and properties, which is what it is, of course,

00:24:56.800 and what most big movies are these days.

00:24:59.360 Speaking about Marvel, every Marvel movie is really just a long toy commercial.

00:25:04.240 That's the only reason it actually exists.

00:25:05.780 The Marvel movies, they exist to propagate themselves like a virus, and they exist to sell merchandise.

00:25:12.120 They don't exist to tell stories, which is why they don't really bother with a story.

00:25:15.720 They just tell the same story over and over again.

00:25:17.600 That's all this movie is, too.

00:25:18.820 But still, looking forward to it.

00:25:21.440 I'll take my kids to it.

00:25:23.400 That's the excuse I can use to watch it.

00:25:26.260 All right, let's get to our daily cancellation.

00:25:28.440 Today, we're going to cancel birthdays, all birthdays, with a few exceptions, which I'll explain.

00:25:32.700 But the catalyst for this, the final straw, anyway, was this tweet from Kamala Harris on Tuesday,

00:25:38.460 wishing herself a happy birthday, accompanied as a gif of Kamala Harris laughing and shaking

00:25:44.480 maniacally.

00:25:45.280 Now, I have to say, perhaps the most Kamala Harris thing in the world is Kamala Harris wishing 0.82

00:25:50.080 herself a happy birthday with a gif of herself, looking like a serial killer in the middle of

00:25:54.100 an epileptic fit.

00:25:56.000 Now, Kamala is 56 years old.

00:25:59.860 This is a 56-year-old woman fishing for happy birthdays. 0.99

00:26:04.360 I wish I could say that she was uniquely perverse for this.

00:26:07.420 I mean, she is uniquely perverse in so many ways, but not for this.

00:26:11.220 I am horrified constantly to find grown adults talking about their birthdays, celebrating their

00:26:17.080 birthdays, throwing birthday parties for themselves.

00:26:20.880 Often, I'll be around someone, and they'll drop a hint.

00:26:23.120 Usually, the hint is something subtle, like, it's my birthday, at which point I'm supposed

00:26:27.440 to, I guess, throw confetti in the air, weep with tears of joy.

00:26:32.160 But instead, I usually say something like, oh.

00:26:36.700 And then they just walk out of the room, offended and scandalized that I didn't congratulate them

00:26:41.040 for the monumental feat of existing.

00:26:43.900 Because that's what you're saying.

00:26:44.900 Think about what you're saying to a person when you tell them it's your birthday.

00:26:47.420 You're saying, hey, you know, not trying to make a big deal of it or anything, but I exist.

00:26:53.020 Yeah, I know you exist.

00:26:54.120 I can see you.

00:26:54.780 No, no, you don't understand.

00:26:55.800 Today completes another year-long cycle of existence for me.

00:27:00.680 So, if you're an adult and I'm interacting with you, I already know that you exist.

00:27:05.740 And I assume you've existed for several years, at least.

00:27:08.540 The fact that the earth went around the sun 42 times since you were born is arbitrary

00:27:13.920 and also uninteresting to me.

00:27:16.780 You may as well run up and demand a party because you've seen 983 squirrels since your

00:27:22.240 birth or because you just tied your shoes for the 12,000th time.

00:27:26.580 At least tying your shoes is a minor achievement.

00:27:28.500 Celebrating your birthday is to celebrate you regardless of what you have or haven't achieved.

00:27:33.380 I don't know if you've done anything worthwhile in the last year.

00:27:35.820 Why should I celebrate the fact that you've lived all year?

00:27:39.300 You could have even done great evil with your life, for all I know.

00:27:42.280 Think about this.

00:27:43.520 And it should be enough to put birthdays to rest.

00:27:46.340 Hitler had birthdays, dozens of them. 0.86

00:27:49.700 So, if you're now turning 27, well, congratulations.

00:27:52.860 Even Hitler did that. 0.92

00:27:54.200 In fact, I find it rather suspicious that Hitler had birthdays and so do you. 0.99

00:27:59.040 What else do you two have in common?

00:28:01.160 Now, here's another thing to consider about birthdays.

00:28:03.680 I believe they're discriminatory in some ways against people in the much maligned

00:28:08.360 unenthusiastic community, of which, of course, I belong. 0.93

00:28:12.140 If you're naturally enthusiastic about things, then other people's birthdays don't present

00:28:15.620 much of a challenge.

00:28:16.340 Someone says, it's my birthday, and you respond, oh, wow, that's amazing.

00:28:20.480 I'm so excited.

00:28:21.320 Or whatever it is you say.

00:28:22.460 See, I could even do an impression of it without sounding sarcastic.

00:28:25.560 That's because I am not an excitable person, and I'm especially terrible at feigning excitement

00:28:31.060 about something banal and boring.

00:28:33.500 And birthdays are the most banal and boring thing in the world, and I simply don't know

00:28:37.060 how to pretend that I care, which puts me in an awkward spot.

00:28:40.200 It's not fair to me.

00:28:41.700 Worst of all is when someone close to you, like a family member, is having a birthday

00:28:45.100 or a friend, but they don't live with you.

00:28:47.180 So now you're expected to make the dreaded birthday phone call.

00:28:50.280 Now, as has already been established this week, phone calls are abhorrent in the first

00:28:53.760 place.

00:28:54.360 A birthday phone call, though, that is my hell.

00:28:58.100 That's it.

00:28:59.280 My hell is just birthday phone calls, me making birthday phone calls for all eternity.

00:29:02.920 I never know what to say.

00:29:03.740 The conversation usually goes like this.

00:29:05.560 Me.

00:29:06.380 Hey, just calling to say happy birthday.

00:29:08.260 Other person.

00:29:09.280 Oh, thanks, thanks.

00:29:10.260 Thank you so much.

00:29:11.460 Me.

00:29:11.780 So you were born 31 years ago, huh?

00:29:15.240 Wow.

00:29:16.740 Pretty wild.

00:29:18.300 Other person.

00:29:19.120 Yeah.

00:29:19.500 Yep.

00:29:20.440 Getting old.

00:29:21.480 Me.

00:29:22.100 Ha.

00:29:22.480 Yeah.

00:29:23.220 Birthdays.

00:29:25.000 What are you going to do?

00:29:26.440 Birthdays.

00:29:27.040 Hmm.

00:29:28.280 What's that?

00:29:28.900 I'm breaking up.

00:29:29.700 Click.

00:29:30.160 That's basically every birthday conversation I've ever had.

00:29:32.460 And my family's starting to get suspicious about the conveniently timed bad reception that always

00:29:36.520 happens on their birthdays.

00:29:37.360 And just to be clear about something, I don't make exceptions for myself.

00:29:41.720 I don't care about my own birthday either.

00:29:43.180 My wife, my wife cares.

00:29:44.620 She cares about all birthdays.

00:29:45.940 She cares enough to cover me and half the block. 0.62

00:29:48.360 And she'll always ask me on my birthday.

00:29:50.180 She'll say, hey, what do you want to do on your birthday?

00:29:52.840 Then I'll say, well, I have to run to the dry cleaners.

00:29:55.820 We could do that.

00:29:57.040 Get some Arby's on the way back.

00:29:58.940 That's never elaborate enough.

00:30:00.300 And then she'll give me a really thoughtful gift, something really wonderful and creative

00:30:05.400 and nice.

00:30:06.460 Inevitably, the only gifts I actually use, though, are whiskey, fishing poles, and socks.

00:30:10.140 And that's it.

00:30:11.340 And that's the way my birthday goes.

00:30:13.500 So here's the rule from here on out.

00:30:16.840 Children can have birthdays.

00:30:18.040 Birthdays, like marshmallows and cartoons, are really for children mainly.

00:30:22.440 We should grow out of them as adults.

00:30:24.020 But if you make it to triple digits, then I think it's acceptable to start celebrating

00:30:28.380 birthdays again, unless you start, unless you're still kicking at like 109 or 110 or

00:30:32.680 something, at which point, like we get it.

00:30:34.860 You're just showboating now.

00:30:36.000 So relax.

00:30:37.120 And at that point, I think the birthdays have to be withdrawn once again.

00:30:39.760 So from the ages of 1 to 18, you can have birthday parties.

00:30:45.080 From 19 to 99, you may not.

00:30:47.900 Then from 100 to 109, you can start celebrating again.

00:30:51.040 Under my theocratic fascist regime, I will allow anyone in the non-birthday time frame 0.80

00:30:56.860 to submit like a waiver, along with a $900 fee requesting special permission for a birthday

00:31:02.580 party.

00:31:03.520 I will allow that because I am kind and merciful.

00:31:07.540 But for the most part, for most people, birthdays are officially canceled.

00:31:13.800 We have enough holidays, enough gift-giving occasions.

00:31:16.080 Stop being greedy and selfish.

00:31:18.200 Just wait for Christmas.

00:31:19.280 Until I get around to canceling that, too.

00:31:23.220 Don't put it past me.

00:31:25.040 That'll do it for today.

00:31:25.980 Thanks for watching.

00:31:26.680 Thanks for listening.

00:31:28.240 Have a great day.

00:31:28.860 Godspeed.

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00:31:43.780 Also, be sure to check out the other Daily Wire podcasts, including The Ben Shapiro Show,

00:31:46.960 Michael Knoll Show, and The Andrew Klavan Show.

00:31:49.200 Thanks for listening.

00:31:50.260 The Matt Wall Show is produced by Sean Hampton, executive producer Jeremy Boring.

00:31:54.100 Our supervising producers are Mathis Glover and Robert Sterling.

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00:32:03.440 The Matt Wall Show is a Daily Wire production, copyright Daily Wire 2020.

00:32:08.920 The DOJ moves to break up Google.

00:32:11.100 The FBI confirms Hunter Biden's emails are not Russian disinformation.

00:32:16.000 And a former RNC chairman endorses Joe Biden.

00:32:18.960 Check it out on The Michael Knowles Show.

The Matt Walsh Show - October 21, 2020

Ep. 587 - Leftist Witch Hunters Burn Chris Pratt At The Stake

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