Ep. 587 - Leftist Witch Hunters Burn Chris Pratt At The Stake
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
176.17953
Summary
Chris Pratt has been trending on social media all week thanks in large part to leftists who think he might be a Trump supporter. This is how the modern witch hunt works. Also, Biden finally responds to the Hunter Biden scandal, and the city of Miami holds a press conference because people are offended by a face mask worn by a Miami police officer. Finally, in our daily cancellation, I cancel Birthdays.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Today on the Matt Wall Show, Chris Pratt has been trending on social media all week,
00:00:04.500
thanks in large part to leftists who think he might be a Trump supporter because he didn't
00:00:08.840
attend a Biden fundraiser with other Marvel actors. This is how the modern witch hunt works.
00:00:14.800
We'll talk about that. Also five headlines, including Biden finally responding to the
00:00:19.380
Hunter Biden scandal, sort of. And the city of Miami holds a press conference because people
00:00:24.080
are offended by a face mask worn by a Miami police officer. There was a press conference,
00:00:29.600
was necessary for this issue. Finally, in our daily cancellation, I will cancel birthdays.
00:00:34.280
All of that coming up. But first, I want to tell you about an exciting new sponsor,
00:00:37.820
Mack Weldon. You know, I'll tell you what I love most about Mack Weldon. The clothes fit great.
00:00:42.560
They're comfortable. They look great. It can be really hard to get all three of those in one item
00:00:47.520
of clothing. But with Mack Weldon, you can. You know, the new normal uniform has a lot of us
00:00:52.080
searching our closets and drawers for men's essentials that aren't there. Instead of the
00:00:56.060
usual business casual button ups and jeans, it's soft knit polos, tees, joggers, active shorts,
00:01:02.080
whatever men's basics you need, though. Mack Weldon has you covered with unmatched comfort and fit.
00:01:06.780
Socks, shirts, hoodies, underwear, polos, active shorts. Mack Weldon promises comfort and a
00:01:12.640
consistent fit. And there's a lot of versatility to Mack Weldon clothing. They look great.
00:01:16.380
They feel great from working out, going out, going to work, or if you're out on a date,
00:01:21.180
whatever it is. Mack Weldon is for everyday life. You have to be in your clothes all day,
00:01:27.140
you know, especially when you're out in public. It's advised to keep them on. And that means they
00:01:31.540
should be comfortable and they should be stylish, too. So for 20% off your first order, visit
00:01:35.680
MackWeldon.com slash Walsh. Enter promo code Walsh. That's MackWeldon.com slash Walsh. Promo code Walsh
00:01:43.560
for 20% off. All right. Well, you know, if you had the misfortune of living in 17th century colonial
00:01:50.640
Massachusetts, it would not have taken much for you to be labeled a witch. Those suspected of
00:01:56.120
witchcraft and executed for it didn't need to be seen flying through the air in a broom. Some were
00:02:01.140
burned simply for associating with others who were suspected of being witches. Some for having certain
00:02:06.420
physical traits thought to be marks of witchery. Your age, your gender, your social class, your family,
00:02:12.600
all of these were thought to be passive clues, potentially indicating that you are a witch or
00:02:18.200
possibly a witch or witch adjacent. Now, we would like to think that things are different now in
00:02:23.920
our enlightened times, but humans are humans. And the witch trials were born from the very human
00:02:30.100
tendency to invent new enemies in our heads and then to suddenly find them everywhere we turn.
00:02:36.340
We have many such boogeymen in our culture. They're more likely to be punished with mock
00:02:42.580
mockery and alienation rather than incineration. But as we've seen, the latter option, incineration,
00:02:48.080
hasn't been taken off the table entirely, especially recently. The actor Chris Pratt has experienced
00:02:53.340
all of this this week and not for the first time experiencing the wrath of the modern witch hunters.
00:02:59.740
His suspected crime being a Christian, a conservative, and worst of all, a Trump voter. Now, while Pratt
00:03:06.260
is a professed Christian and does seem to perhaps be more politically conservative than the average
00:03:11.660
Hollywood celebrity, which is sort of like calling him cleaner than the average dumpster cat,
00:03:16.900
there's no reason to actually think that Chris Pratt supports Trump. There's even less reason to
00:03:21.260
care if he does or doesn't. But the witch hunters on the left cannot tolerate dissent, even theoretically,
00:03:27.780
and especially not from someone in a profession or demographic group of which they have claimed
00:03:33.600
ownership. And that is why Pratt has been trending on social media all week for days now. Not because
00:03:41.240
leftists are outraged by things that he has said or beliefs he has professed, which would be bad enough
00:03:46.980
if that were the reason, but because of their suspicions about beliefs he might hold. As Twitter
00:03:53.400
describes it, you can see here on their trending section, the Chris Pratt controversy that has sparked
00:03:59.540
over 260,000 tweets is focused on, quote, his alleged political and religious beliefs.
00:04:06.760
Now, this seems to have started with news that some Avenger actors are taking part in a Joe Biden
00:04:12.340
virtual fundraiser cringely titled Voters Assemble. Marvel luminaries like Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson,
00:04:19.780
Mark Ruffalo, Don Cheadle, Paul Rudd, Zoe Saldana, all volunteered for the noble clause. But a few actors
00:04:26.440
were missing from the Biden fundraiser roster, and this fact became cause for great concern.
00:04:31.780
Now, it was apparently decided that some of the missing superheroes should be given an excused
00:04:36.180
absence because they're not from this country, like the guy who plays Spider-Man. Spider-Man's
00:04:40.180
off the hook. But Chris Pratt has no such alibi. And this raised suspicion. As an article in the AV
00:04:46.140
Club put it, quote, the fundraiser will feature a trivia game and Q&A, which we hope will at least be
00:04:51.220
partially dedicated to asking about every single member of the Avengers who isn't there. A good number of
00:04:56.060
them aren't from the U.S., so we can't expect them to clean up our mess in this dumb country.
00:05:00.200
But this is the second one of these Biden fundraiser reunion things that Chris Pratt has
00:05:05.240
missed out on. We theorized last time that he's either a Republican or just wants everyone to get
00:05:10.300
along and can't endorse anyone since he's all buff and churchy now. But we'll have to wait and see
00:05:15.540
what happens if the Biden campaign organizes an Everwood reunion. From there, it was off to the races,
00:05:20.960
with great numbers of people attacking Chris Pratt for what they assume his political views
00:05:26.260
probably are. And the circumstantial evidence that Pratt secretly wears MAGA hats in his spare time
00:05:32.140
goes beyond his absence at a Biden fundraiser. We should note he also attends, according to leftist
00:05:37.760
critics, including fellow actor Ellen Page, an anti-LGBT church. So that's a red flag. Plus, as Vanity Fair
00:05:45.080
points out, quote, Pratt's personal life has also led to speculation about his politics. Last year,
00:05:50.460
Pratt married Catherine Schwarzenegger, daughter of Arnold Schwarzenegger, a longtime Republican.
00:05:56.240
Though the article points out that Catherine publicly supports Biden. So at least someone in
00:06:01.520
the Pratt household isn't a white supremacist. That's good. Other media outlets have weighed in.
00:06:07.140
Now, listen to this. Newsweek ran a fact check analyzing the claims that Pratt is, quote,
00:06:14.040
allegedly a Republican and Trump supporter. The article sifts through all the clues,
00:06:19.060
looking at all the different evidence, eventually landing on the verdict of unknown. Newsweek says,
00:06:24.560
we cannot verify if Pratt is a Trump supporter because he hasn't confirmed it. The Hollywood
00:06:28.860
actor has not shown any support publicly for the president or his Democratic challenger, Joe Biden.
00:06:35.200
But unknown isn't good enough, especially when Pratt, as some on Twitter have pointed out,
00:06:41.380
follows notorious Nazis like Ben Shapiro and Dan Crenshaw. If Pratt wants to absolve himself of his
00:06:49.800
assumed thought crimes, he has to come out and publicly support Biden and denounce Trump. Anything
00:06:55.800
less will be insufficient. Now, to the credit, many of Pratt's castmates have come to his defense
00:07:03.900
against the slobbering mindless hordes. But they've come in for harsh criticism because of that,
00:07:10.240
especially Zoe Saldana, who was attacked with racial slurs by the racially tolerant left.
00:07:16.260
One person calling her a nasty biracial woman. Another saying they're, quote, tired of defending
00:07:22.420
your cracker loving ass. Adding, of course, shut up. Along with many other comments that I just can't
00:07:28.600
read out loud. All of this, again, it cannot be emphasized enough. Merely because of political
00:07:35.060
views that the man might hold. So gone are the days when people can be viciously attacked for the
00:07:42.100
opinions they express. Well, those days are still here. But we're now living in a time when you can
00:07:46.420
be attacked for opinions you did not express. Silence is violence, as the slogan goes. And the people
00:07:52.380
who say that really mean it. Now, I don't say this just because I'm a conservative. It really is true.
00:07:58.600
That only one side of the ideological divide behaves this way. And that's at least partially
00:08:04.640
a reflection of just how dominant and mainstream leftism is. It still positions itself, of course,
00:08:11.500
as the counterculture, but it isn't. It is the culture. And now, having won every major battle and
00:08:18.060
seized nearly all of the cultural power, it can concern itself with issues like Chris Pratt's
00:08:23.260
theoretical political leanings. Only the dominant culture and the dominant cultural narrative can
00:08:29.160
demand allegiance to this extent. Counterculture movements aren't usually the ones conducting witch
00:08:33.800
hunts. And this is what makes all the talk about resistance from the left so absurd. What are you
00:08:39.720
resisting? What is the resistance resisting? You own everything. Just this week, Sony became the
00:08:46.000
latest of dozens and dozens of billion-dollar corporations to endorse Black Lives Matter.
00:08:49.920
And this only a few days after was announced that one of the Marxist co-founders of BLM has inked a
00:08:54.700
major deal with Warner Brothers. What type of counterculture movement has billion-dollar sponsors
00:09:00.880
and contracts with major Hollywood studios? A fraudulent one. That's what type. The left dresses up in
00:09:08.700
costumes, the costume of outsiders and radicals, and complains about alleged oppression. And then they
00:09:15.680
charge out into the street to fight enemies they've already defeated, and monsters that don't exist.
00:09:21.260
So instead, they burn down a CVS, steal a few armloads of shoes, call it a day, go home, tweet about why a
00:09:28.020
Marvel actor is persecuting them by not saying anything at all. This is the behavior of the comfortable,
00:09:33.960
the victorious, the victorious, and the bored. And that's what leftism is. But what it is not,
00:09:42.820
certainly most of all, is counterculture. Let's get to our five headlines.
00:09:53.120
Well, you know, we think of life insurance as this scary and overwhelming thing, but it doesn't have to
00:09:58.900
be. You know, and we talk about it is Halloween this month, and so I think PolicyGenius would like
00:10:03.600
to mark the occasion by making something a little bit less scary. We've got enough scary things in
00:10:07.580
our lives. Life insurance. Shopping for life insurance can seem like a daunting task, but
00:10:12.220
PolicyGenius just makes it really easy. They combine a cutting-edge insurance marketplace with
00:10:17.000
help from licensed experts to save you time and money. And it's all about ease. It's all about,
00:10:21.760
this is what they're talking about. You just go to PolicyGenius. You can save up to 50% or more by using
00:10:26.600
PolicyGenius to compare life insurance. When you're shopping for a policy that could last for
00:10:31.120
more than a decade, those savings really start to add up. So you think 50% already sounds like a good
00:10:36.220
deal. Think about how long you're going to have the life insurance policy. Here's how it works. First,
00:10:39.860
you head to PolicyGenius.com. In minutes, you can work out how much coverage you need and compare
00:10:44.300
quotes from top insurers to find your best price. PolicyGenius will compare policies starting as
00:10:52.000
little as $1 a day, and they're going to look at all these policies. Once you apply,
00:10:55.740
the PolicyGenius team will handle all the paperwork, all the red tape. And that's it
00:11:00.460
on your end. They're doing everything. All you got to do, just take the initiative,
00:11:04.400
go to PolicyGenius.com. So if you need life insurance, head to PolicyGenius.com right now
00:11:08.580
to get started. You could save 50% or more by comparing quotes. PolicyGenius, when it comes
00:11:14.240
to insurance, it's nice to get it right. Well, Joe Biden has for the first time answered a question
00:11:19.660
about the Hunter Biden email, sort of. It's amazing. Well, not amazing, but it should be amazing.
00:11:25.640
That he was able to go this long without being forced to answer about this. And he was finally
00:11:32.080
asked about it during an interview with a local reporter in Wisconsin. So it wasn't even a...
00:11:37.800
Of course, if he was on CNN or MSNBC, this question would not have come up.
00:11:41.860
But he was on a local news channel in Wisconsin. And here's how that went.
00:11:45.360
So Wisconsin's Republican Senator Ron Johnson put out a statement on Homeland Security letterhead
00:11:52.060
saying Hunter Biden, together with other Biden family members, profited off the Biden name.
00:11:56.760
Is there any legitimacy to Senator Johnson's claims?
00:12:00.380
None whatsoever. This is the same garbage Rudy Giuliani, Trump's henchman. It's a last-ditch
00:12:08.260
effort in this desperate campaign to smear me and my family. Even the man who served with him on that
00:12:14.060
committee, the former nominee for the Republican Party, said there's no basis to this. And the vast
00:12:22.320
majority of the intelligence people have come out and said there's no basis at all. Ron should be
00:12:29.140
Now, notice what he doesn't say. He doesn't say that the emails are a fabrication. He doesn't even
00:12:33.140
mention the emails. He doesn't say that they're a fabrication. He doesn't say they're fake.
00:12:36.280
He doesn't say the laptop story is a hoax. He doesn't say that. He denies. He doesn't confirm
00:12:41.940
it explicitly. But he doesn't say, if these were a hoax and just made up, I mean, if someone,
00:12:49.100
if Rudy Giuliani or whoever is making this up, and that is the claim you still get from the left
00:12:57.380
and the media, if that were the case, then Joe Biden would say so. He would come out and say,
00:13:02.920
this is totally made up and ridiculous. He doesn't say that.
00:13:06.520
Um, and you know, it, it, it's, it's just not credible then at this point to say that it's a
00:13:13.900
hoax or Russian disinformation when even Joe Biden himself is not saying that.
00:13:20.240
All right. Um, number two, a video has been making the rounds online. It apparently shows a city
00:13:25.780
official finding a restaurant owner in New York for the crime of, no, he wasn't, he wasn't like having
00:13:31.820
indoor diners when he wasn't supposed to, or no, he just, he had his door open. Apparently that's
00:13:37.380
the crime. And this is what happened. Because my doors are open. I want to understand that.
00:13:44.860
Well, if you don't want to, you don't need to sign it. I know you're recording me.
00:13:48.880
That's fine. I'm allowed to record you. I'm going to give you a copy.
00:13:52.180
You're giving me a ticket because my doors are open, sir.
00:13:57.640
There's nobody sitting in the restaurant. Everything is okay. You're giving me a ticket
00:14:04.180
What if my store is hot? I'm not allowed to open the door because the store is hot.
00:14:08.740
I haven't even spelled out in the salmons. I'm going to give you a copy.
00:14:14.920
Can I have your name, please? Is it in the report, but it's not fair that only because my
00:14:20.000
doors are open and I'm getting a violation, you know, I'm struggling here every single
00:14:24.960
day is hard for me. And there was nobody inside the store, obviously, because we don't
00:14:29.520
have dining. We only have takeout. There was nobody in the store and I'm only getting a
00:14:35.100
ticket because my doors are open. Can you just please repeat that sentence while I'm
00:14:39.420
getting a violation? It's because I'm operating in a red zone with... What is that?
00:14:44.960
In the red zone. You're only supposed to do pickup and delivery at the door. Everything is spelled
00:14:50.640
out here in the sentence. But I'm doing pickup and delivery. When the guy walked in, I told him
00:14:55.120
to step outside. That was not good enough? I'm not here to argue. I'm just recording.
00:15:02.040
That's enraging, obviously. And you want to talk about being unified and bipartisan,
00:15:08.920
if that's possible at all. This should be bipartisan rage at something like that. I don't
00:15:13.000
know what that business owner's politics are. It doesn't matter to me. It's completely insane.
00:15:17.760
It's hard enough. If you are a restaurant owner, you know this, or in many other businesses too.
00:15:23.680
Hard enough to stay afloat. But when you have local government officials, local little petty
00:15:31.580
tyrants coming in, trying to make it even harder for you, completely arbitrary reasons. He had the
00:15:38.100
door open. So what? What's the fear here that he has the coronavirus and it'll somehow escape from
00:15:45.720
the door and float down the street and attack somebody? What is the fear? What's the worst case
00:15:50.980
scenario? Keeping the door open. In what way is that going to contribute to the... Isn't it better
00:15:57.700
to have it open? Have air circulation? Speaking of which, speaking of not having air circulation,
00:16:03.180
this is at a different restaurant, also in New York. A new innovation here. You can see bubble dining.
00:16:10.900
So we've got people who are sitting outside of a restaurant at a table, but they're in plastic
00:16:16.940
bubbles. And this again is the flaw, one of the many flaws in the do something approach
00:16:23.860
that I talk about. This restaurant figured that we got to do something. If something's
00:16:30.540
better than nothing, now we'll just put them in bubbles. No, no. In fact, it's not better
00:16:35.280
than nothing. Nothing would be a lot better in this case. Because now, rather than people
00:16:40.560
eating outdoors with lots of air circulation, where the risk of transmission is very low,
00:16:47.000
now they're in a very tight enclosed space with other people sitting and talking for extended
00:16:53.380
periods of time, the waiters have to enter the bubble to take the order. And presumably,
00:16:58.540
the next group of people are going to be in that bubble too. So some of the particles ejected by the
00:17:06.140
one group will still be floating in the air, and then someone else gets into the bubble.
00:17:08.740
Another group. Oh yeah, but I'm sure the waitstaff will come and spray it down with a little
00:17:15.140
Lysol. That'll kill everything. That'll be fine. So this, you could not think of a, if you were
00:17:21.640
trying to come up with a way, like a mechanism by which to transmit the coronavirus, you couldn't
00:17:28.800
think of a better way. This is a very efficient coronavirus transmission device is what they've
00:17:35.000
come up with, in the name of protecting people from the coronavirus, when they could have done
00:17:39.380
nothing and just let people eat outside. Or you know what, even eat inside. You're going to put them
00:17:44.580
in bubbles, why not just put them inside? Number three, a new Biden ad played during a game one of
00:17:50.640
the World Series. As a side note, I just now learned that the World Series is happening, so that's
00:17:54.620
interesting. This ad is getting some buzz, people saying it's a great ad. Tell me what you think.
00:17:59.560
There is only one America, no democratic rivers, no Republican mountains, just this great land
00:18:14.100
and all that's possible on it with a fresh start. Cures we can find, futures we can shape,
00:18:25.280
work to reward. Dignity to protect. There is so much we can do if we choose to take on problems
00:18:37.560
and not each other. And choose a president who brings out our best. Joe Biden doesn't need everyone
00:18:46.400
in this country to always agree. Just to agree, we all love this country. And go from there.
00:18:56.280
I'm Joe Biden, and I approve this message. Now, it is a good ad. Bad products often have good ads.
00:19:05.100
Case in point, on occasion you see a good Pepsi ad, even though it's a terrible product. But if you
00:19:11.140
actually understand what's happening in our country, and you're clued in, the ad is also slightly
00:19:16.240
creepy. Like something from an alternate dimension. Because the side that's been stirring up riots,
00:19:21.820
the side that calls the opposition Nazis, the side that says America is systemically racist,
00:19:26.220
white males are toxic racist, the side that's hunting down Chris Pratt because he didn't attend
00:19:32.300
a Biden fundraiser, this is the side now that we're getting this unity and togetherness stuff from.
00:19:38.480
Oh, and the side that protests the national anthem, tears down our monuments, spits on our historical
00:19:45.460
heroes, chants America was never great, wants us to agree that we all love this country and go from
00:19:52.700
there. I wish that were true. I wish we could agree on that. That'd be great if we could agree on that.
00:19:57.440
We obviously can't. I wish everything in this ad were true. But it's not. It's a fable. It's
00:20:03.800
designed to dupe the credulous and the ignorant. And it just might work, unfortunately. Number four,
00:20:11.320
there's been outrage over a police officer in Miami who apparently was at a polling station in full
00:20:15.660
uniform wearing a Trump 2020 mask. The police chief issued a statement about it. And then also the mayor
00:20:22.120
of the city held a press conference about the police officer in a mask.
00:20:26.260
We were made aware of a police officer who was wearing a political face mask while in
00:20:32.420
city of Miami police uniform. The department has confirmed that the photograph was taken while the
00:20:39.100
officer was in line to vote. The city of Miami and the Miami police department do not support or
00:20:45.160
endorse any candidate for political party or elected office. The involved officer was not authorized to
00:20:51.780
wear a mask with a political messaging, nor was he given any administrative direction to support a
00:20:57.600
particular candidate or political party. His actions have violated departmental policy and he will be
00:21:03.780
disciplined. It's inappropriate. It's a violation of departmental orders. You know, a police officer is supposed to be
00:21:08.680
impartial. So irrespective of who the person was, whatever sign it would have been, it would have been
00:21:14.460
problematic and something that we cannot condone and we do not accept. And so he's going to be
00:21:21.140
disciplined for it. Now, yes, cops shouldn't be publicly supporting a candidate while at a polling
00:21:25.600
station in uniform, or no matter where they are, if they're in uniform, they shouldn't be expressing
00:21:30.600
political views. True. But also get a grip. Did a cop's face mask really require a damned press conference?
00:21:40.300
You had to have a press conference over that. And of course, the claims online, this is voter suppression,
00:21:46.960
voter suppression. How's it voter suppression? It didn't stop you from going to the polls.
00:21:52.760
What, are you going to show up at the polls? You see a cop in a Biden or a Trump face mask,
00:21:56.700
and what, you get scared and run away? Come on. And I don't blame this cop for doing what he did.
00:22:03.120
Shouldn't have done it. I don't blame him. Their lives are literally on the line here. Democrats like
00:22:08.180
Biden are out spreading the outrageous myth and conspiracy theory that cops are hunting and murdering
00:22:13.980
black people. Of course, not true. It's getting cops killed. Democrats also want to defund the police.
00:22:19.780
Biden thinks that cops should have to shoot dangerous criminals in the leg.
00:22:25.540
So they're openly taking the side of violent criminals. They don't care if cops get killed.
00:22:31.220
So instead of asking why this police officer is wearing that mask,
00:22:35.380
maybe ask why he feels so strongly about it that he would risk his career to wear it.
00:22:40.880
That to me is the more relevant question here. Number five, finally, it has long been known
00:22:48.420
that a sequel to one of cinema's great masterpieces is in the works, Space Jam 2, starring LeBron James.
00:22:55.400
Going to be released in 2021 sometime, I assume. Now, I'm skeptical of the sequel already for a couple of reasons.
00:23:01.700
First of all, LeBron James is a propagandist and a phony who casually stokes riots and racial tensions,
00:23:06.320
so that's an issue for me. But also, Space Jam, the first one, was one of the formative films of my childhood.
00:23:12.920
And I think it features some of the most emotional and affecting scenes you'll see in any film.
00:23:18.200
When Jordan emerges from the cartoon spaceship at the very end and onto the baseball diamond to the sound of R. Kelly singing
00:23:26.660
after winning a basketball game against aliens who are trying to enslave Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck,
00:23:31.840
that's one of those moments in film that sticks with you and molds you and shapes you.
00:23:42.800
This is from Ben Meckler on Twitter. He's apparently a director and writer himself.
00:23:47.520
He says, this is a synopsis of the new Space Jam.
00:23:49.960
During a trip to the Warner Brothers studio, NBA superstar LeBron James and his son accidentally get trapped
00:23:56.460
within a world that contains all of Warner Brothers' stories and characters
00:23:59.420
under the control of a malfunctioning, all-powerful force named AIG, played by Don Cheadle.
00:24:05.940
With the help of Bugs Bunny, LeBron must navigate through a never-before-imagined world
00:24:09.880
with iconic movie scenes and characters as they reassemble the Looney Tunes to rescue his lost son.
00:24:14.960
Now, to get back home, LeBron and the Toons have to unravel AIG's mysterious plan
00:24:19.820
and win an epic basketball game against digital, gamified super versions of the NBA and WNBA's biggest stars
00:24:39.940
Because the WNBA doesn't have big stars at all in any other sense, so that's a problem.
00:24:47.560
Also, mainly this just sounds like a lengthy, elaborate commercial for Warner Brothers
00:24:51.920
and their other brands and properties, which is what it is, of course,
00:24:59.360
Speaking about Marvel, every Marvel movie is really just a long toy commercial.
00:25:05.780
The Marvel movies, they exist to propagate themselves like a virus, and they exist to sell merchandise.
00:25:12.120
They don't exist to tell stories, which is why they don't really bother with a story.
00:25:15.720
They just tell the same story over and over again.
00:25:26.260
All right, let's get to our daily cancellation.
00:25:28.440
Today, we're going to cancel birthdays, all birthdays, with a few exceptions, which I'll explain.
00:25:32.700
But the catalyst for this, the final straw, anyway, was this tweet from Kamala Harris on Tuesday,
00:25:38.460
wishing herself a happy birthday, accompanied as a gif of Kamala Harris laughing and shaking
00:25:45.280
Now, I have to say, perhaps the most Kamala Harris thing in the world is Kamala Harris wishing
00:25:50.080
herself a happy birthday with a gif of herself, looking like a serial killer in the middle of
00:25:59.860
This is a 56-year-old woman fishing for happy birthdays.
00:26:04.360
I wish I could say that she was uniquely perverse for this.
00:26:07.420
I mean, she is uniquely perverse in so many ways, but not for this.
00:26:11.220
I am horrified constantly to find grown adults talking about their birthdays, celebrating their
00:26:17.080
birthdays, throwing birthday parties for themselves.
00:26:20.880
Often, I'll be around someone, and they'll drop a hint.
00:26:23.120
Usually, the hint is something subtle, like, it's my birthday, at which point I'm supposed
00:26:27.440
to, I guess, throw confetti in the air, weep with tears of joy.
00:26:36.700
And then they just walk out of the room, offended and scandalized that I didn't congratulate them
00:26:44.900
Think about what you're saying to a person when you tell them it's your birthday.
00:26:47.420
You're saying, hey, you know, not trying to make a big deal of it or anything, but I exist.
00:26:55.800
Today completes another year-long cycle of existence for me.
00:27:00.680
So, if you're an adult and I'm interacting with you, I already know that you exist.
00:27:05.740
And I assume you've existed for several years, at least.
00:27:08.540
The fact that the earth went around the sun 42 times since you were born is arbitrary
00:27:16.780
You may as well run up and demand a party because you've seen 983 squirrels since your
00:27:22.240
birth or because you just tied your shoes for the 12,000th time.
00:27:26.580
At least tying your shoes is a minor achievement.
00:27:28.500
Celebrating your birthday is to celebrate you regardless of what you have or haven't achieved.
00:27:33.380
I don't know if you've done anything worthwhile in the last year.
00:27:35.820
Why should I celebrate the fact that you've lived all year?
00:27:39.300
You could have even done great evil with your life, for all I know.
00:27:43.520
And it should be enough to put birthdays to rest.
00:27:49.700
So, if you're now turning 27, well, congratulations.
00:27:54.200
In fact, I find it rather suspicious that Hitler had birthdays and so do you.
00:28:01.160
Now, here's another thing to consider about birthdays.
00:28:03.680
I believe they're discriminatory in some ways against people in the much maligned
00:28:08.360
unenthusiastic community, of which, of course, I belong.
00:28:12.140
If you're naturally enthusiastic about things, then other people's birthdays don't present
00:28:16.340
Someone says, it's my birthday, and you respond, oh, wow, that's amazing.
00:28:22.460
See, I could even do an impression of it without sounding sarcastic.
00:28:25.560
That's because I am not an excitable person, and I'm especially terrible at feigning excitement
00:28:33.500
And birthdays are the most banal and boring thing in the world, and I simply don't know
00:28:37.060
how to pretend that I care, which puts me in an awkward spot.
00:28:41.700
Worst of all is when someone close to you, like a family member, is having a birthday
00:28:47.180
So now you're expected to make the dreaded birthday phone call.
00:28:50.280
Now, as has already been established this week, phone calls are abhorrent in the first
00:28:54.360
A birthday phone call, though, that is my hell.
00:28:59.280
My hell is just birthday phone calls, me making birthday phone calls for all eternity.
00:29:30.160
That's basically every birthday conversation I've ever had.
00:29:32.460
And my family's starting to get suspicious about the conveniently timed bad reception that always
00:29:37.360
And just to be clear about something, I don't make exceptions for myself.
00:29:45.940
She cares enough to cover me and half the block.
00:29:50.180
She'll say, hey, what do you want to do on your birthday?
00:29:52.840
Then I'll say, well, I have to run to the dry cleaners.
00:30:00.300
And then she'll give me a really thoughtful gift, something really wonderful and creative
00:30:06.460
Inevitably, the only gifts I actually use, though, are whiskey, fishing poles, and socks.
00:30:18.040
Birthdays, like marshmallows and cartoons, are really for children mainly.
00:30:24.020
But if you make it to triple digits, then I think it's acceptable to start celebrating
00:30:28.380
birthdays again, unless you start, unless you're still kicking at like 109 or 110 or
00:30:37.120
And at that point, I think the birthdays have to be withdrawn once again.
00:30:39.760
So from the ages of 1 to 18, you can have birthday parties.
00:30:47.900
Then from 100 to 109, you can start celebrating again.
00:30:51.040
Under my theocratic fascist regime, I will allow anyone in the non-birthday time frame
00:30:56.860
to submit like a waiver, along with a $900 fee requesting special permission for a birthday
00:31:03.520
I will allow that because I am kind and merciful.
00:31:07.540
But for the most part, for most people, birthdays are officially canceled.
00:31:13.800
We have enough holidays, enough gift-giving occasions.
00:31:31.820
If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe.
00:31:34.420
And if you want to help spread the word, please give us a five-star review.
00:31:39.700
We're available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you listen to podcasts.
00:31:43.780
Also, be sure to check out the other Daily Wire podcasts, including The Ben Shapiro Show,
00:31:46.960
Michael Knoll Show, and The Andrew Klavan Show.
00:31:50.260
The Matt Wall Show is produced by Sean Hampton, executive producer Jeremy Boring.
00:31:54.100
Our supervising producers are Mathis Glover and Robert Sterling.
00:31:57.340
Our technical producer is Austin Stevens, edited by Danny D'Amico, and our audio is mixed by
00:32:03.440
The Matt Wall Show is a Daily Wire production, copyright Daily Wire 2020.
00:32:11.100
The FBI confirms Hunter Biden's emails are not Russian disinformation.