The Matt Walsh Show - July 27, 2024


Evil Villain Laugh Contest？ Matt Walsh REACTS


Episode Stats

Length

7 minutes

Words per Minute

142.90085

Word Count

1,090

Sentence Count

146

Misogynist Sentences

1

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary

In this week's episode, we talk about TikTok reactions to TikTok, why you shouldn't marry someone for their looks, and why you should never pay for a date if they don't pay for your first date.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 All righty, Matt. It's your favorite time of day.
00:00:03.200 TikTok reactions.
00:00:06.800 Yeah, I mean, we might as well.
00:00:08.220 Oh, my God.
00:00:38.220 I get it. Just stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. It's fine.
00:00:42.060 Yeah, they're dorks. They're dorks. They probably smell bad.
00:00:44.900 Imagine how the room smells.
00:00:47.600 Do you smell it?
00:00:49.320 That smell.
00:00:50.860 The kind of smelling smell.
00:01:05.300 What am I doing here?
00:01:07.880 I honestly have no idea what that is.
00:01:09.620 What am I supposed to react to?
00:01:11.380 Well, I'll give you two different ones.
00:01:15.280 That was stupid.
00:01:19.500 That was kind of cool. I like that.
00:01:20.680 My stomach is churning listening to it.
00:01:39.460 I just find you very attractive.
00:01:58.140 Yeah, I find you very attractive, too.
00:01:59.680 And there was a time where I did not.
00:02:02.740 Same.
00:02:04.080 Sure.
00:02:04.740 Isn't that so funny how our brain can do that, though?
00:02:06.880 Yes.
00:02:07.300 It's so crazy.
00:02:08.080 And that's also why you shouldn't marry someone for looks.
00:02:10.740 Bingo.
00:02:10.960 Like, I sound like such a hypocrite because I'm saying that, and I'm married to, like, such a hot man.
00:02:16.820 Sure.
00:02:17.500 Such a good-looking man.
00:02:20.440 Such a hot, buzzed man.
00:02:22.440 This is a hot, bald guy.
00:02:24.300 I'm just saying you shouldn't marry for looks because they're going to look a lot different in the grand scheme of your marriage, hopefully.
00:02:29.200 Like, you age together, and you're going to look different.
00:02:32.060 But also, your brain can literally paint someone to look so differently.
00:02:36.920 100%.
00:02:37.440 Via their personality.
00:02:42.500 Oh, somebody kill me, please.
00:02:47.440 Somebody kill me, please.
00:02:50.860 The collective IQ in that room between those two people is lower than, like, the mic stand that they're using.
00:02:56.520 So.
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00:04:01.540 Quiet guys are in.
00:04:02.760 2024, quiet guys are in.
00:04:04.780 I am wanting to find the most nonverbal person in the venue.
00:04:08.940 I am looking for the quietest, mutest person at the function, and that one's mine, okay?
00:04:14.840 I'm over the big frat guys, like, ugh, being, like, crazy at dinner, throwing themselves on tables, being scary and loud, and, like, hurting my eardrum.
00:04:23.800 Like, I'm looking for the guy that is doing sign language in the back.
00:04:27.900 I just want that at this point, because I can't compete with the loud guy that everyone wants to eat his kneecap.
00:04:39.680 I can't do that anymore.
00:04:40.960 I'm looking for a man to be able to read braille and then to write braille on my puss.
00:04:47.160 Like, I want to just kind of stick with the guy that's, like, the underdog.
00:04:52.960 I think that's it for me, because I'm not really winning in the other department, so let's go all the way that way.
00:05:01.260 It started dumb, and it just kept getting dumber and dumber and just dumber.
00:05:04.460 And then I thought, well, it's as dumb as it could possibly be.
00:05:06.460 And then, no, it got dumber.
00:05:07.860 It kept going.
00:05:08.500 Just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber.
00:05:13.480 It just kept going on and on and on.
00:05:15.760 And I didn't like it.
00:05:19.940 I mean, I don't want to be rude, but if the guy didn't pay for our date, there wouldn't be another one.
00:05:25.560 There wouldn't be another one.
00:05:26.260 I'm traditional like that.
00:05:27.780 I would offer to be nice.
00:05:29.460 But if a guy were to have taken you up on the token offer, let's say.
00:05:34.060 I would pay, but then it would be no second date.
00:05:36.860 See, I've got to challenge you a little bit on this here.
00:05:38.660 Okay.
00:05:39.080 So, women often complain that men are poor communicators, but I feel like men are very literal, logical thinkers.
00:05:46.960 So, like, when I think of that, if a girl offers to pay and then, say, a guy in good faith takes up that offer and then you disqualify him because of the words that came out of your mouth, wouldn't that quite literally be poor communication?
00:06:04.020 I guess in a sense, but.
00:06:06.700 Wow.
00:06:08.220 Yeah.
00:06:10.280 What do you know?
00:06:12.360 Hmm.
00:06:13.540 Interesting.
00:06:13.980 Hmm.
00:06:14.140 That was a point.
00:06:17.440 They said, they said, that was, that was something.
00:06:19.720 He said something.
00:06:20.400 She said something.
00:06:22.000 They said different things.
00:06:24.580 And, uh, yeah.
00:06:27.640 You know what else is not stealing?
00:06:29.400 Putting an extra bike lock on a stranger's bike.
00:06:33.500 It's insane that bike locks are legal.
00:06:36.220 Do you have any idea the amount of power that you wield with your imagination and a bike lock?
00:06:42.320 Like, you could just walk past the Baskin Robbins and be like, you're closed.
00:06:47.460 It's pretty funny.
00:06:48.900 It was funny.
00:06:49.620 It was good.
00:06:50.360 I mean, there'd be a violation of the fire.
00:06:51.560 You can't do that.
00:06:52.240 That's a violation of the fire code to lock a building during, when it's open, during opening hours.
00:06:58.320 So I wouldn't do that.
00:06:59.920 But it's a funny joke.
00:07:02.700 I didn't laugh at it, but it was a funny joke.
00:07:04.660 I'm not going to say it wasn't funny.
00:07:07.120 It was good.
00:07:07.840 It was funny.
00:07:08.120 It was funny.
00:07:14.220 It was funny.
00:07:15.180 It was funny.
00:07:16.380 I didn't see it weren't funny.
00:07:17.640 It was funny.
00:07:18.060 It was funny.
00:07:18.520 It was funny.
00:07:18.800 It was funny.
00:07:19.520 It was funny.
00:07:20.600 It was funny.
00:07:21.620 I didn't see that.
00:07:22.020 It was funny.
00:07:22.720 It was funny.
00:07:23.580 It was funny.
00:07:24.740 It was funny.
00:07:24.940 It was funny.
00:07:26.000 It was funny.
00:07:27.800 It was funny.
00:07:28.000 I said, it was funny.
00:07:28.780 It was funny.
00:07:29.460 It was fun.
00:07:30.060 It was funny.
00:07:32.120 It was funny.
00:07:33.040 Look.
00:07:33.560 Beautiful.
00:07:34.060 It was funny.
00:07:35.640 It was funny.