Matt Walsh Listens to BTS For The First Time
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
169.96918
Summary
BTS is a Korean boy band, and they re a huge global sensation. To celebrate, we re reviewing their newest single, Butter. We re also talking about the fact that BTS looks and sounds almost exactly like NSYNC from 25 years ago, and boy does it ever feel like it.
Transcript
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You know, we like to do music reviews on this channel. We try to review the hot new joints
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whenever they drop and so forth, but we've never reviewed any BTS songs. That is, those are the
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hot joints that we've kind of, we've overlooked. And part of the reason why we've never reviewed
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anything from BTS is that, well, one reason is that I didn't know BTS existed until very recently.
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And then when someone told me about them, I said, oh, you mean the serial killer, right?
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And they explained, no, BTK was the serial killer. Fine, torture, kill. BTS is a Korean boy band
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and they're a huge global sensation. And I said, you mean, you mean BTK was in a boy band? And they
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said, no, you idiot. These are two different things. And I said, oh. Anyway, it's really kind of inspiring
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what BTS has done in that they've, they've been able to travel across the globe and, you know,
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bring together all kinds of people, all kinds of different people with bad taste of music. All
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these different disparate groups with bad taste of music, they can all kind of come together.
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It doesn't matter if you're black, white, boy, girl, Asian, uh, transgender, whatever you are,
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if you have bad taste of music, they're here for you. Um, so I kind of appreciate that. And to show
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my appreciation, I will today be listening to and reviewing the latest, um, what I think is the
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latest BTS joint called Butter. Let me say one other thing from the jump here before we get into the song.
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I'm told that this is, this, this group has a legion of devoted followers, an army of followers.
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They call themselves the BTS army and, uh, you don't want to upset them. And I've been warned about
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that. And, and I take that warning seriously. So please allow me to say to, uh, these fans,
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if you're watching this, I mean, no offense to you. Uh, and, um, I don't want to upset you and I'm
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very sorry, sorry that you're all deaf. You know, I know that it has to be difficult. So with that
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olive branch extended, let's, uh, let's get into the song. This is Butter from BTS. Let's watch.
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Smooth like butter, like a criminal undercover. Don't pop like trouble, breaking into your heart like
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that. Cool, Shay, Stunner, yeah, owe it all to my mother. High like summer, yeah, making you sweat like
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that break it down. Okay. So, I mean, this seems like pretty standard issue boy band style. I have
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to say, I was expecting, um, I was, I was expecting something else. I don't want to say expecting more,
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but I just, I was expecting something more outrageous, you know, to keep up with modern
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times. Uh, I thought a boy band music video in 2021 would be a bunch of like genderless furries
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cannibalizing each other or something. You'd have to get really outrageous. And actually they do appear
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to be pretty genderless, but the point is I, I didn't think that it would look and sound almost
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exactly like NSYNC 25 years ago. Don't, don't get me wrong. This is not a complaint. In fact, it's sort
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of, it's sort of comforting in a way that everything else has changed in the world. You know,
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everything is changing so quickly and oftentimes for the worst, but boy bands have remained exactly
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the same for 30 years. It has not changed one bit. And so it's a, it's like an oasis, I guess.
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It's a shelter in the storm. We have the stability of the boy band.
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Oh, when I look in the mirror, I want your heart in two too. I got the superstar glow.
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So, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. To the boogie line. Side step right, left to my beat. High like the moon,
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rocked with me, baby. Know that I got that heat. Let me show you cause talking shit. Side step right,
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left to my beat. Get it, let it roll. Get it, let it roll. So question, this is really just,
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and this is honestly, it's an honest question. Is this good dancing? Is it actually good dancing?
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Because I feel like the dancing here is not very good, but I don't know because I can't dance at
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all. If I tried to dance, it would probably look like I was having an epileptic episode or something,
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but I'm not impressed with the dancing here, especially the one dude. Who's the dude there
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in the, in the, uh, the white, the white, uh, suit jacket, you know, his solo dance. He was just
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standing there snapping his fingers half-heartedly. Not impressed with that. That's my move. If I'm in a
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wedding party and you know, if you're in a wedding party and they do the thing like they do at all
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weddings now, we're at the reception, they make you walk in to music with entrance music. And
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you're supposed to have this nice little cute little dance with whatever bridesmaid they've
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matched you up with. And so for me, it's just that I'm just doing this as I walked out, or maybe I'll,
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you know, I might shake the finger like this is my dance, you know, that's all I'm doing.
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So I can appreciate, I can relate to that guy in that way that he can't dance. I can't dance,
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but I expect a little bit, I look, I expect a little bit better dancing from a boy band.
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Um, okay. Let's, uh, we'll, we'll, we'll dive back in and watch just a little bit more of this.
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I saw my wrist, I'm the nice guy. Got the right body and the right mind. Rollin' up the party,
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got the right vibes, move like, haters. Flash boy, pull up and we'll lay low. All the bands,
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they're moving when the bass low. Got the army, while behind us, when we say so. Let's go.
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Okay. I have a headache. Uh, I, that's about all that I can take. I think that's almost the end of
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the song. Goes on for another. You get the idea. Honestly, I would rather be in a room with the BTK
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killer. I think I'd prefer BTK over this. And I don't mean that as an insult. Okay. I, no disrespect
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intended to these artists or to their fans. Uh, I don't mean any insult. I'm just saying that I
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personally would rather be tortured and killed by a serial killer than listen to this for one more
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second. That's all. It's my personal preference. That's all I'm saying. Uh, but I did appreciate how
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they got into a little bit of a rap there and, uh, I didn't quite understand what they were saying.
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So I did look up the lyrics out of curiosity just because I thought I don't want to, I don't want
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to miss the message. And so here's the lyrics that were just performed for you. Ice on my wrist.
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I'm that nice guy. Got that right body and that right mind. Rolling up to the party. Got the right
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vibe. Smooth like butter. Hate us. Love us. Fresh boy pull up and we lay low. All the players get
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moving when the bass low. Got army right behind us when we say so. Let's go. Sidestep right left to
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my beat. High like the moon. Rock with me, baby. Wow. That is, I mean, even by the standards of pop
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music, that is some incoherent bullshit. I've got to say there, there isn't one complete thought to
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be found there. They're not even writing in full sentences. At least NSYNC was basically
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intelligible. You know, like I want to see you out that door, baby. Bye, bye, bye. You know, that,
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that's a classic lyric. That's not Shakespeare, but it's comprehensible. You understand what they're
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trying to say. What they're saying is get the hell out. I don't want to see you. Okay, fine.
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You got that right body and that right mind. What, what do you, first of all, who are you
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taught, who, who has the right body and right mind? You, you're talking about yourself.
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Because it sounds like from the, from the context, you're talking about yourself. So you're saying
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about yourself that you got that right body. Hey girl, I got that right body. You know what I mean?
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What? Oh, and don't worry. I also have that right mind, but I guess I should cut them,
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cut them some slack because English isn't their first language. I realize. And all of that,
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all in all, I have to give a BTS thumbs up for not being serial killers, I guess, as I had,
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had originally believed, but the music I'm afraid gets two thumbs down.
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Pare when donner they're left to finish for me and having
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So we're gonna need and you were gonna take out, now?