The Matt Walsh Show - March 06, 2023


Matt Walsh Reacts To VIRAL TikToks


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

174.89552

Word Count

1,646

Sentence Count

112

Misogynist Sentences

6

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary

It's not easy being a dad, but it's even harder being a shopaholic in the 21st century, and we're here to talk about it. Plus, a woman who gets winded cutting a donut, and a story about a candle warmer that doesn't work.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Mr. Walsh, men are called to do hard things, very hard things in fact, the heavy burdens that are not suited to the tender nature of women and children.
00:00:12.600 Today, you must take on the heaviest burden, the ultimate load, if you will, tick-tock reactions.
00:00:20.420 And get ready, man, this is not easy, and it's not supposed to be, bucko.
00:00:25.720 Yeah, I mean, we might as well.
00:00:33.080 I'm not returning my shopping cart, and you can judge me all you want.
00:00:38.060 I'm not getting my groceries into my car, getting my children into the car, and then leaving them in the car to go return the cart.
00:00:46.140 So if you're going to give me a dirty look, f*** off.
00:00:49.840 This is the situation you put me in. I have so much to say, and already I'm being cut off.
00:00:53.500 Like, I don't even think, I've already said more than can exist in the YouTube Shorts program.
00:00:57.900 So, there's so much I can say that. I want to say so much, but I cannot say anything to this.
00:01:03.680 So, she's wrong, obviously, with this.
00:01:05.160 This job ain't shoving. I ain't working here no more.
00:01:11.960 My woman done left and took all the reasons I wasn't working for.
00:01:18.540 You better not try to stand in my way.
00:01:22.040 Yeah, that's, someone probably died. That's silly.
00:01:28.500 Bet someone died in that one.
00:01:31.240 Pretty wacky. That's some wacky hijinks.
00:01:33.920 I don't think anyone died, but that is Nashville. That's Nashville Drivers for you.
00:01:37.880 Don't shoot!
00:01:40.120 Please!
00:01:41.540 I have a family!
00:01:44.080 Here's my wallet.
00:01:46.000 Here's my wallet.
00:01:48.100 Take my keys, too.
00:01:49.080 Where's my car?
00:01:51.960 I know I parked it here.
00:01:54.020 I knew I shouldn't have bought a Kia.
00:01:56.220 I think that's pretty funny.
00:01:57.900 You know, I can't decide if it's funny or not.
00:02:01.040 But I think it is.
00:02:03.540 I give it a, you know, I rate it a 5.7 out of 10 on the funny scale.
00:02:08.240 How long is this effing video?
00:02:36.320 Why does this video exist?
00:02:39.200 Why are we looking at this?
00:02:41.000 She gets winded cutting a donut.
00:02:44.100 That's how you know you have a weight problem.
00:02:45.720 When you get winded cutting a donut.
00:02:48.260 That's not, that's not a good breakfast.
00:02:49.520 That's not a breakfast.
00:02:50.220 That's just pure sugar.
00:02:51.120 You're just, you might as well just take a literal measuring cup of sugar out of your pantry and just hand it to her.
00:02:56.260 It's a candle warmer.
00:03:01.520 A candle warmer?
00:03:04.060 Yes.
00:03:04.960 Candles warm themselves.
00:03:07.000 They're literally on fire.
00:03:08.640 I'm so confused.
00:03:10.780 The light bulb warms them.
00:03:12.480 We spent money on this?
00:03:15.360 To warm our candles that are literally warm?
00:03:19.760 They're hot, actually.
00:03:21.320 How do you warm what's hot?
00:03:23.000 You can't.
00:03:24.180 Show me, it's a flame.
00:03:25.300 It's hot.
00:03:26.440 Fire stater said I bought a lamp warmer.
00:03:29.340 I meant a candle warm.
00:03:31.040 Wait a minute.
00:03:31.940 Are we warming lamps or are we warming candles?
00:03:34.700 Are you buying wickless candles?
00:03:36.520 This can't be a real word.
00:03:38.780 You both do.
00:03:39.740 This is a joke.
00:03:40.840 I thought it was cute.
00:03:45.160 Yeah, candle warmers are stupid and gay.
00:03:48.860 And also I have one in my office.
00:03:51.080 At work.
00:03:51.980 I do.
00:03:52.360 But they made me.
00:03:53.800 They forced on me because it's an insurance problem to have fire.
00:03:56.700 I can't light candles anymore.
00:03:59.840 That's the world we live in, folks.
00:04:01.640 Using the internet without ExpressVPN, it's like having a first aid kit but not keeping it stock.
00:04:06.000 Most of the time, you'll probably be fine.
00:04:07.840 But what if one day you need it and you don't have it?
00:04:09.880 Every time you connect to an unencrypted network in a cafe, hotel, or airport, any hacker on the same network can gain access to your personal data, like your passwords and financial details.
00:04:18.280 It doesn't take much technical knowledge to hack somebody.
00:04:20.300 A smart 12-year-old could do it with some cheap hardware.
00:04:22.680 And they could make up to $1,000 per person selling this personal information on the dark web.
00:04:27.680 That's why I use ExpressVPN.
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00:04:40.400 Plus, it works on all my devices so that I can stay secure when I'm on the go.
00:04:43.840 Secure your online data today by visiting ExpressVPN.com slash WalshYT.
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00:04:56.900 All right, that was so fun.
00:04:58.320 Best.
00:04:58.920 What?
00:04:59.420 What did you just say?
00:05:00.940 Best.
00:05:01.560 Holly, are you in for dinner on Friday?
00:05:02.640 Please excuse the delay in my response.
00:05:07.120 Yes, I am in.
00:05:09.300 I mean, can we circle back on Jared's comment?
00:05:12.120 Can you just be normal for like a second?
00:05:14.600 Yeah, let me, I'll put a pin in that.
00:05:16.260 Oh my God.
00:05:17.700 You time for a quick sync this afternoon?
00:05:19.360 Well, I'm right here.
00:05:19.920 Just tell me now.
00:05:20.700 Just a quick touch base.
00:05:21.600 Five minutes we can do this afternoon.
00:05:22.900 Just tell me now.
00:05:24.000 Ugh, I'm so exhausted.
00:05:25.280 I just feel like I'm wearing so many hats.
00:05:27.340 Hey, I need you to download the dishwasher by EOD.
00:05:29.560 Yeah, can you get out of my face by EOD?
00:05:31.720 Yeah, I'll get out of my face by EOD for sure.
00:05:34.220 Yeah, that's clever.
00:05:35.860 I mean, if you got to make TikTok videos, it's not the worst one to make.
00:05:40.620 It's not the worst TikTok video of all time.
00:05:42.800 It's not great.
00:05:43.440 It doesn't need to exist.
00:05:45.520 This doesn't need to exist.
00:05:47.240 Nothing we're doing does.
00:05:49.280 But it does.
00:05:50.020 All right, all we would need is like a very specific 10-inch 2x4 and then another one stacked
00:05:55.800 just like this on top of it, and this will be fixed.
00:05:58.160 It'll be fixed.
00:05:58.820 No way.
00:06:06.120 No way.
00:06:06.980 No way.
00:06:08.080 No way.
00:06:08.680 No way.
00:06:13.360 Yes!
00:06:14.520 Finally!
00:06:16.420 Something like this?
00:06:18.260 No way!
00:06:20.020 Out here in the field
00:06:28.520 Um, it was funny.
00:06:32.440 Another funny one.
00:06:34.180 Relatable, even.
00:06:35.600 Relatable.
00:06:36.360 Relatable and funny.
00:06:37.240 It's the best kind of content.
00:06:39.740 It was good.
00:06:40.940 I'm not being sarcastic.
00:06:42.020 Ladies and gentlemen, we got them.
00:06:44.680 This is what it's like to backpack in Taliban-controlled Afghanistan as an American.
00:06:50.340 Day two of the series starts in Kabul, where we had a very mediocre hotel breakfast before
00:06:54.660 going to the Ministry of Information and Culture to get our permits.
00:06:57.380 Of the very few tourists that have decided to visit Afghanistan since the Taliban takeover,
00:07:01.380 a vast majority have a guide.
00:07:03.000 Unfortunately, that was out of our budget, so we just came alone.
00:07:05.320 But getting our permits was relatively straightforward thanks to a report written by a solo female
00:07:09.360 traveler who spent three weeks traveling around the country.
00:07:11.680 I'll put her ad on the screen.
00:07:12.720 Permits in hand.
00:07:13.420 We were now authorized to walk around the streets of Kabul freely, which was such a cool
00:07:17.160 feeling.
00:07:17.660 We perused the markets, giving as much business as possible to local vendors and spent a lot
00:07:21.540 of time at the bird market, where thousands of different species of birds are on sale.
00:07:24.980 This is probably Kabul's most notable tourist attraction.
00:07:27.220 Some of our Taliban interactions before we had our permits were a little stressful, so
00:07:30.780 we just had such a big weight lifted off our shoulders, and we're really able to enjoy
00:07:33.860 the day, drinking tea with locals and taking as many photos.
00:07:36.300 I don't care about this.
00:07:37.060 Unfortunately.
00:07:37.540 I just don't care about it.
00:07:38.340 Can we do the next one?
00:07:39.060 I just don't care enough to even say anything about it.
00:07:42.340 Cut!
00:07:42.840 Cut!
00:07:43.340 Oh, is that it?
00:07:44.140 Oh, thank God.