The Matt Walsh Show - December 23, 2024


Matt Walsh Reviews CHRISTMAS MOVIES


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

191.36143

Word Count

2,196

Sentence Count

237

Misogynist Sentences

8

Hate Speech Sentences

3


Summary

It's December, which means it's time to talk about Christmas movies. And because this wouldn't be a Matt Walsh video without complaining about something, I'm also going to officially declare which Christmas movies are the most overrated.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 All right, we have some more content for you today.
00:00:02.420 It's important that we keep churning out content.
00:00:04.780 If you go a day without content, then the world will explode.
00:00:07.460 Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
00:00:09.620 That's what I've been told anyway.
00:00:10.680 So anyway, so today we're going to talk about Christmas movies.
00:00:14.340 And you may have noticed that it's December,
00:00:16.140 which is why we've chosen this very topical subject.
00:00:18.400 I don't know what to say except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.
00:00:23.080 Specifically, what I'd like to do is pass down from on high
00:00:26.100 the official list of the top two Christmas movies.
00:00:29.340 There are only two.
00:00:30.400 And then because this wouldn't be a Matt Walsh video
00:00:32.320 without complaining about something,
00:00:33.740 I'm also going to officially declare which Christmas movies
00:00:35.660 are the most overrated.
00:00:36.900 So we're going to do, you know, positive and negative,
00:00:38.840 both ends of the spectrum.
00:00:39.880 Let's begin with the top Christmas movies.
00:00:42.360 And there's one important stipulation here.
00:00:43.700 This is very important.
00:00:44.480 Charlie Brown's Christmas, How the Grinch Stole Christmas,
00:00:46.920 the cartoon, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
00:00:48.820 are all delightful.
00:00:50.020 I watch them with my kids every year.
00:00:51.400 They're great.
00:00:52.380 They're not feature-length films,
00:00:53.920 so they're disqualified from consideration.
00:00:56.300 If we're doing a video about the best Christmas TV episodes
00:00:58.760 or short films,
00:00:59.760 it would have only three titles on it,
00:01:01.480 and it would be the three I just mentioned.
00:01:02.740 But that's not the video we're doing here.
00:01:03.760 As for great Christmas films,
00:01:05.420 there have been two.
00:01:06.500 Only two.
00:01:07.100 Tis the season to be merry.
00:01:08.440 There have also been some decent Christmas movies.
00:01:10.620 There have been some good ones.
00:01:11.980 There have been some passable ones.
00:01:13.100 But the two great ones are these.
00:01:15.540 And we'll go down the list, starting at two.
00:01:17.460 Number two, A Christmas Story.
00:01:19.100 You'll shoot your eye out, kid.
00:01:24.880 Now, there are some people who argue
00:01:26.400 that A Christmas Story is overrated.
00:01:29.460 And those people are Philistines and scoundrels.
00:01:32.420 A Christmas Story is a movie that I've seen
00:01:34.440 probably 30 times in my life, if not more.
00:01:36.960 I enjoy it every time.
00:01:38.840 No movie has ever captured the magic and wonder of Christmas
00:01:41.660 as a child like A Christmas Story does.
00:01:44.360 It's a timeless film in that every generation of children
00:01:47.380 can watch it and relate to Ralphie
00:01:49.620 and his quest for the Red Ryder BB gun,
00:01:51.660 just as every generation of adult can watch the movie
00:01:53.620 and feel nostalgic,
00:01:54.660 even though we didn't grow up in the 50s.
00:01:57.080 Fragile.
00:01:58.140 It must be Italian.
00:01:59.520 It is, in many ways, a perfect film.
00:02:01.940 You know, there isn't any change that I would make
00:02:04.620 to any of the performances, the script,
00:02:06.920 everything about it.
00:02:07.740 You know, the movie perfectly accomplishes
00:02:10.280 what it wants to do.
00:02:11.120 A movie like The Princess Bride
00:02:13.340 is in a similar boat.
00:02:14.820 These are perfect films.
00:02:16.260 They're perfect.
00:02:17.840 Not top 10 or top 20 films ever made,
00:02:20.280 but they're still perfect.
00:02:21.220 They're perfect at doing the thing
00:02:22.640 that they're trying to do.
00:02:23.800 There's a shortage of perfect films in this world.
00:02:26.220 It would be a pity to damage yours.
00:02:27.400 And one thing I love about the movie
00:02:28.400 and something that modern Christmas movies
00:02:30.300 and modern movies in general, I think, get wrong
00:02:33.860 is that the stakes in the story of a Christmas movie,
00:02:39.600 the stakes remain very personal and very contained.
00:02:42.720 Now, in modern Christmas movies,
00:02:44.860 and I've seen a lot of those too with my kids, unfortunately,
00:02:47.660 like every single one, there's always the thing at the end
00:02:50.180 where somebody has to rescue Santa or whatever
00:02:53.080 from somewhere or something,
00:02:54.900 because if they don't, you know,
00:02:57.000 there will be no Christmas for anyone ever again.
00:02:59.420 It becomes this like global thing.
00:03:02.760 A Christmas story doesn't do that.
00:03:04.420 The story remains intimate and personal.
00:03:06.900 The stakes are that the kid wants a BB gun.
00:03:09.800 And that's it.
00:03:11.260 It never becomes a planetary crisis.
00:03:13.720 And for that reason, the movie feels nostalgic
00:03:16.360 and charming and relatable.
00:03:18.760 It feels like Christmas in a way
00:03:20.480 that many modern Christmas films don't.
00:03:22.460 Okay, so that's number two.
00:03:23.420 Number one, the top Christmas movie of all time,
00:03:26.320 hands down, no contest, not a competition,
00:03:28.640 is It's a Wonderful Life.
00:03:30.140 Yay!
00:03:30.620 Now, this is, in fact, one of the greatest films ever made.
00:03:35.740 Not just Christmas film, but films in general.
00:03:37.900 It's one of the all-time, probably top 15 films ever made.
00:03:42.780 It is iconic.
00:03:43.880 It is perfect.
00:03:45.040 Again, there's not one beat or frame or moment
00:03:49.340 or performance or anything that I would change.
00:03:53.760 What is it you want, Barry?
00:03:55.420 What do you want?
00:03:56.760 You want the moon?
00:03:58.500 Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it
00:04:00.680 and pull it down.
00:04:01.480 It cannot be topped.
00:04:02.460 It cannot be remade.
00:04:03.720 If anybody ever tries to remake it,
00:04:05.340 they should be boiled alive in hot oil
00:04:07.280 and then buried in the desert in an unmarked grave.
00:04:10.180 I'm not kidding.
00:04:11.560 I mean, for YouTube's sake, I am.
00:04:13.100 But I'm not.
00:04:14.800 Anyway, It's a Wonderful Life captures the Christmas spirit
00:04:17.280 better than any other film.
00:04:18.960 And it brings in the supernatural element of the holiday
00:04:21.200 in a way that the Christmas story does not,
00:04:23.380 which is why it gets edged out on the list
00:04:25.200 by It's a Wonderful Life.
00:04:26.380 Now, yes, yes, George Bailey is a bit of a commie.
00:04:30.240 Sure, he is a bit of a commie.
00:04:31.980 But, you know, the film is still great.
00:04:33.580 I don't know.
00:04:34.020 It's able to overcome that.
00:04:35.420 That's how great the film is.
00:04:36.580 Now, on a personal note,
00:04:37.780 I will say that the major challenge in my marriage
00:04:41.560 is that I don't want to get into airing Dirty Laundry,
00:04:44.900 especially not in my own family, my marriage.
00:04:48.120 But this is a major challenge,
00:04:50.060 is that my wife refuses to watch this movie with me.
00:04:53.920 She won't watch it.
00:04:54.880 We go through this every year.
00:04:56.200 She calls it boring.
00:04:57.720 Every time she says that, it cuts me.
00:05:00.380 It cuts me to my core.
00:05:01.800 I weep hysterically in my heart.
00:05:03.720 I mean, not physically, but in my soul, I'm crying.
00:05:08.000 So not everybody appreciates this movie.
00:05:10.020 Sometimes in a tragic situation,
00:05:11.700 there may be people close to you who don't appreciate it,
00:05:14.220 but they're wrong.
00:05:15.600 This is the greatest Christmas film of all time, period.
00:05:20.020 I mean, that's it.
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00:06:36.660 Now, as for the most overrated Christmas films,
00:06:39.420 and I'm not going to get into like listing, you know, actual titles,
00:06:45.400 because the most overrated and the worst Christmas movies of all time,
00:06:51.880 those are every Christmas movie made after the year 1994.
00:06:56.900 No shit.
00:06:57.320 Every single one, without exception.
00:07:00.640 The Santa Claus in 1994 was the last decent Christmas film.
00:07:06.460 Not great.
00:07:08.520 Not great.
00:07:09.700 But decent.
00:07:11.140 Home Alone was a couple years before.
00:07:12.560 I think it was 1992 or something.
00:07:14.940 That was good.
00:07:18.300 Better than decent.
00:07:19.300 Not great.
00:07:20.100 Flemwad.
00:07:20.620 Everything after that.
00:07:22.120 Everything after that has been trash.
00:07:24.580 It has all been bad.
00:07:26.040 Same for Christmas songs, too, by the way.
00:07:27.620 This is also the cutoff for Christmas substance.
00:07:29.840 I don't want a lot for Christmas.
00:07:33.080 I just want a thing like me.
00:07:36.040 1994.
00:07:36.920 No good Christmas song or movie has been made after night.
00:07:39.600 I don't know why, but that's it.
00:07:42.200 Exactly 30 years ago.
00:07:44.000 Don't come to me talking about elf.
00:07:46.160 Drop the whole elf thing.
00:07:47.120 Okay, I can already hear some of you people.
00:07:50.280 What about elf?
00:07:51.200 Elf came out of...
00:07:52.720 Elf, no.
00:07:53.480 You disgust me.
00:07:54.680 How can you live with yourself?
00:07:56.040 No.
00:07:56.380 I just watched elf again with my kids.
00:07:59.040 Like pretty much every Will Ferrell movie during that run,
00:08:03.420 elf was a funny idea for an SNL skit, maybe,
00:08:08.060 stretched out about 20 times longer than it should have been.
00:08:11.720 It wears out its welcome midway through the first act.
00:08:14.640 And by the third act, whatever charm it had has long since died,
00:08:18.660 along with my Christmas cheer and my hopes for the future,
00:08:22.240 all of it is dead by the end of that movie.
00:08:24.640 You also see in Elf this thing that they do now in Christmas movies,
00:08:28.120 where by the end of it, it's like, whatever,
00:08:30.820 they're out in the city and all the people are there
00:08:33.060 and they're all watching and there's some big, you know,
00:08:35.380 dramatic scene unfolding and all that kind of stuff.
00:08:37.760 It's just not, it's just not good.
00:08:39.740 What else is there?
00:08:40.660 I mean, don't you dare suggest the Jim Carrey Grinch abomination.
00:08:45.440 The Grinch!
00:08:46.660 I certainly don't want to hear about whatever bullsh** The Rock just put out.
00:08:50.240 We got snowmen!
00:08:52.860 You know, every year it's stuff like that now.
00:08:55.400 The Rock is playing whoever and the Santa's an action hero now.
00:09:00.180 Time for some season's beatings.
00:09:03.140 It's all bad. All of it is bad. It's all terrible.
00:09:05.620 Hollywood for the last 30 years has forgotten how to make Christmas movies.
00:09:08.900 Even the mildly entertaining ones are still missing something, okay?
00:09:13.240 They're missing the essence of the Christmas film.
00:09:16.300 They're missing Christmas spirit.
00:09:17.680 I'm going to stick my whole fist up your...
00:09:19.720 That's what they're missing.
00:09:20.860 You can't, it's, uh, it's unquantifiable,
00:09:23.860 but you can't quite figure it out.
00:09:26.520 It's like, it's, it's just not there.
00:09:28.240 For some, there's something. It's just not there.
00:09:30.400 It's the same with the Christmas songs.
00:09:31.620 They just don't have that spirit.
00:09:33.220 You listen to a Christmas song that was made in the 40s or the 50s.
00:09:36.200 Christmas, all of them have Christmas spirit.
00:09:38.440 And you listen to those songs, you're like, that's a Christmas song.
00:09:40.640 It's what a Christmas song is supposed to sound like.
00:09:41.860 It feels like Christmas.
00:09:43.540 Every single song in the last 30 years doesn't feel like Christmas.
00:09:46.800 It just doesn't feel like it.
00:09:48.000 So they're all bad. That's not up for discussion.
00:09:50.140 But it's okay, because we don't need new Christmas movies.
00:09:55.000 We have the two greatest,
00:09:56.540 which you can watch every year as we do in our family.
00:09:59.880 Well, I, I, it's a wonderful life.
00:10:01.980 I have to watch alone.
00:10:03.700 I have to sit and watch it alone because nobody will watch it.
00:10:05.880 My kid's been poisoned against this movie by my wife.
00:10:08.960 She's told them all it's, it's,
00:10:10.500 I almost got them to watch it the other day and I put it on.
00:10:13.180 And then my son goes, oh, it's black and white.
00:10:15.460 Yes, it's black and white.
00:10:16.760 Okay.
00:10:17.180 You don't need, it's,
00:10:20.060 the story is what colors it in.
00:10:22.320 You won't even notice that it's black and white when you start watching it.
00:10:24.960 It's so magical that you don't even,
00:10:26.540 it doesn't need to be in color.
00:10:27.920 That's what I said.
00:10:28.500 They didn't want to watch it.
00:10:30.160 No, they didn't want to watch it.
00:10:30.840 It's black and white.
00:10:32.120 Anyway, you don't need any other Christmas movies.
00:10:34.980 You have two.
00:10:36.220 That's all you need.
00:10:37.760 Don't be greedy, you brats.
00:10:40.160 Also, Merry Christmas.
00:10:42.220 Hey, Matt, I have a question for you.
00:10:43.660 Actually, two.
00:10:45.060 What about Jingle All the Way?
00:10:46.440 That was in 96.
00:10:47.460 How do you fall on that?
00:10:48.440 Jingle All the Way?
00:10:49.540 Are you kidding me?
00:10:50.660 Is that a serious question?
00:10:53.380 Okay.
00:10:54.340 That's actually, that's, that's where Christmas movies,
00:10:56.400 well, I'm glad you brought that up.
00:10:57.680 That's where Christmas movies, that, that, that's where they broke.
00:11:00.400 Put that cookie down now.
00:11:03.000 Arnold Schwarzenegger killed Christmas movies.
00:11:05.220 Okay.
00:11:05.680 And then what about Polar Express?
00:11:07.740 When did that come out?
00:11:09.100 2004.
00:11:12.700 Look, there are exceptions to every rule, I guess.
00:11:16.080 That one has it.
00:11:17.160 Yeah.
00:11:17.360 That one does have the Christmas spirit.
00:11:19.120 It's not, it's not great.
00:11:20.320 That's decent.
00:11:21.040 So whatever.
00:11:22.060 So there's been one.
00:11:22.840 There's been one in 30 years.
00:11:24.340 Okay.
00:11:25.280 I'm glad we had a clarification.
00:11:26.400 Okay.
00:11:26.640 Good.
00:11:27.180 Bye.
00:11:27.380 Thank you.