The Matt Walsh Show - April 26, 2022


My Best Selling LGBTQ+ Children’s Book： Johnny the Walrus


Episode Stats

Length

1 minute

Words per Minute

245.05136

Word Count

326

Sentence Count

16


Summary

Johnny the Walrus is an exhilarating tale of a young boy who pretends he is a walrus. Until the internet tells his mom that he identifies that way, and she must uphold his trans-Walrus identity. But eventually she learns from a zookeeper who looks suspiciously like the author of the book that just because your child is pretending to be something doesn t mean he actually is that thing.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You know, I've accomplished many things in my lifetime, but recently I made one of my ultimate dreams come true.
00:00:04.860 I wrote a children's book, and it's changing the world as we know it.
00:00:07.600 It sold out in less than 24 hours, and at one point was crowned the number one best-selling LGBTQ plus book on Amazon.
00:00:13.100 Due to my newfound prestige within the LGBTQ plus community, I was invited on Dr. Phil to share my expertise with some confused individuals who couldn't for the life of them tell me what a woman is.
00:00:21.780 The book is called Johnny the Walrus, and I'm sure it will serve as an inspiration for the entire LGBTQ plus community for centuries to come.
00:00:28.100 I know it already has. As mentioned, the book sold out right away due to its immense popularity, but I have great news for you.
00:00:33.580 The book is in stock again and available to purchase today.
00:00:36.980 Don't worry, if you pre-order the book, yours will be fulfilled.
00:00:39.800 Johnny the Walrus is an exhilarating tale of a young boy who pretends he's a walrus until the Internet tells Johnny's mommy that Johnny is actually a walrus because he identifies that way, and she must uphold his trans walrus identity.
00:00:50.560 I don't want to give away the ending and spoil it, but eventually she learns from a zookeeper who looks suspiciously like the author of the book that just because your child is pretending to be something doesn't mean he actually is that thing.
00:01:01.840 Now, if you know and appreciate the genius of my brain, which is a phrase in this copy that I'm reading, you and your kids will love this book, and so will everyone else.
00:01:10.640 That's why you need to head to johnnythewalrus.com and pick up a copy right now.
00:01:14.480 I promise you it will sell out again, and you'll be disappointed you missed your chance to own this seminal work of children's literature.