The Matt Walsh Show - December 18, 2021


Try to Laugh Samantha Bee vs Lily Singh

Topics
meatpacking workers and meat industry lobbying International Women's Day
Hosted by
Matt Walsh
Mentioned
Samantha Bee Carson Daly Lilly Singh Hannah Gadsby Kate Middleton Steve Mnuchin Richard Pryor Joan Rivers George W. Bush COVID-19
Ep. 860 - Public School Gives Child New Name And Gender Without Parental Consent Try to Laugh Chelsea Handler vs Hannah Gadsby

Episode Stats


Length

14 minutes

Words per minute

181.09

Word count

2,549

Sentence count

247

Harmful content

Misogyny

23

sentences flagged

Toxicity

7

sentences flagged

Hate speech

12

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

As we enter the new year, I thought it d be fun to take a trip down memory lane and review some of the feminists that we ve watched over the last year. Not really fun, but maybe fun for you to watch me in my pain.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 You know, as we enter the new year, I thought it'd be fun to take a trip down memory lane
00:00:04.420 and review some of the feminists that we've watched, some of the feminist comedians we've
00:00:08.620 watched over the last year. Not really fun. I mean, fun's not the right word. It's actually
00:00:11.800 deeply traumatic for me, but maybe fun for you to watch me in my pain, you sadists.
00:00:17.720 So we're going to start with the feminist comedians, you know, scare quotes around comedians, 1.00
00:00:22.500 Samantha Bee and Lilly Singh. Now, both of these women were, it might seem equally unfunny,
00:00:28.580 but I think now's the time to see who wins the actual title of the worst feminist comedian 1.00
00:00:34.940 period of all time period. So first up, let's check out Samantha Bee.
00:00:39.660 So my producer suggested that I watch and review some feminist comedy bits and he suggested this 0.99
00:00:48.100 because evidently he hates my guts, which is understandable. I would hate me too if I wasn't
00:00:53.380 me. I am me and I hate me. So, you know, but the thing is I did actually watch some feminist 0.65
00:00:58.500 comedy in anticipation of doing this little YouTube video. And, but, but much of it was
00:01:03.860 so bad.
00:01:04.860 I'm a feminist. And usually like, I'm, I'm like not an advocate of like street harassment 0.99
00:01:10.660 and stuff like that. Except from men that wear gray track suits.
00:01:15.540 Just so, so, so bad.
00:01:19.900 I remember when Kate Middleton announced her pregnancy, I was like, ah, I wonder if she'll
00:01:25.880 keep it. Who knows?
00:01:28.320 That I thought maybe the fruit was hanging a little too low, a little too, a little, it's a little too
00:01:32.560 easy. And there's all kinds of euphemism packed into that last sentence that you can get into later.
00:01:37.840 But then I thought if I'm going to review feminist comedy, I shouldn't go for the obscure ones. 0.74
00:01:41.980 I should focus on a feminist comedian who is successful, well-known, allegedly talented. 1.00
00:01:48.420 And that's why I am going to focus on Samantha Bee. You know, Samantha Bee has her own comedy show 1.00
00:01:53.160 on Lifetime or whatever it's on. And she's hailed by the media as brilliant and hilarious and genius
00:01:59.940 and so on. That's what the media says about her. I figure she's the best of the best when it comes 1.00
00:02:04.460 to woke female comedians. So let me give her a shot. We're going to watch some Samantha Bee 1.00
00:02:09.640 together. And more than reviewing it, I think I want to see if I can find a reason to laugh.
00:02:18.460 I want to laugh at a Samantha Bee joke. I want to see if I can do that today. I'll try my hardest.
00:02:25.760 So let's watch this together. Let's start with this. We'll take a look. Okay.
00:02:29.320 Meatpacking workers often contend with cramped conditions, grueling labor and long hours. So it's
00:02:39.380 unsurprising that plants have become hotspots for COVID-19. If we want to keep our food supply safe,
00:02:45.400 we should first keep our workers safe. So naturally, the president isn't. Following aggressive lobbying
00:02:51.600 from the meat industry, Trump issued an executive order aimed at reopening meat processing plants.
00:02:56.640 Look, it's not shocking the president leapt into action to save meat because burgers? You in danger,
00:03:04.580 girl. Okay. So I think there were some jokes in there. I can't be sure. And this might be part
00:03:12.800 of Samantha Bee's genius that she tells jokes and nobody knows that they're jokes. So she's
00:03:18.880 deconstructing comedy. That's what I'm told. That's the thing about female comedians. Samantha Bee, 1.00
00:03:24.500 Hannah Gadsby. They're always deconstructing comedy rather than just telling funny jokes. 0.98
00:03:32.140 And I don't mean to imply that women aren't funny. I would never imply that. I, in fact,
00:03:37.200 am stating it explicitly. Just kidding. Not really, but sort of. Okay. Let's keep going.
00:03:43.000 From Ohio to New York, Michigan to California. This morning, the beef shortage at Wendy's is
00:03:49.080 spreading. The company with that unforgettable catchphrase decades ago is now having trouble
00:03:54.080 finding the beef. You're out of beef then? Out of patties? It's embarrassing that the
00:03:59.820 where's the beef place is out of beef. It'd be like if someone at Taco Bell was caught thinking
00:04:04.860 inside the bun. Okay. Let's stop right there. This is a professional comedian, folks. She makes 1.00
00:04:14.780 millions of dollars telling jokes. And yet she's never actually told one, so far as I can tell.
00:04:22.840 And so I'm starting to figure out that when people say Samantha Bee is funny, which I've never actually
00:04:27.840 heard anyone say that, but theoretically, if they do say that, they don't mean it on the scale of
00:04:33.580 comedians, right? They're using a different scale. What they mean is that she's funny
00:04:38.220 for a feminist, which is like saying a corn dog is healthy for carnival food. So maybe if we 1.00
00:04:46.680 understand it on that scale, we get into the mind of a feminist, maybe it becomes funny. So let's 0.63
00:04:51.880 keep going. With some food shortages and increased prices, the Federal Supplemental Nutrition Assistance
00:04:58.520 Program is more necessary than ever. About 38 million people rely on SNAP benefits to feed
00:05:05.200 their families. And last month, the USDA announced it would increase overall benefits 40% to give
00:05:10.920 families more money to buy food. Unfortunately, many food stamp households were left out of the
00:05:16.080 benefit expansion because they were already receiving the maximum amount. Now, while Democrats
00:05:21.340 are trying to raise benefits by 15%, Republicans are attempting to block that change. Just for context,
00:05:28.300 the maximum benefit for a family of four is only $646 per month. For Republicans, giving hungry
00:05:35.700 families an extra hundred bucks during a worldwide pandemic is too big of an ask, both because they
00:05:42.180 deeply, passionately don't give a about poor people and because Steve Mnuchin needs it to fashion
00:05:48.360 sheets for his bed. My God, my God in heaven, deliver me, Lord. If you feel like you're not getting the
00:06:00.100 respect you deserve in life, well, that might be because you don't have a title in front of your name
00:06:06.320 that causes people, forces people to respect you. And here's something that you could get. You could get
00:06:11.380 established titles, uh, your very own proclamation like I have declaring that you are a Lord or lady
00:06:18.320 and you have this and you will gain the respect you deserve. I guarantee you all you need is as one
00:06:22.660 square foot plot of land in Scotland and, um, established titles as a project based on a historic
00:06:27.400 Scottish custom where landowners are referred to as layers or Lords and ladies in English in your title
00:06:32.740 pack, which, uh, I hold my hand here. You'll receive at least one square foot of dedicated land on a
00:06:37.780 private estate and an official certificate with a crest. Your certificate will include a unique plot
00:06:42.240 number with which you can see the exact location of your land. With this certificate, you could
00:06:46.340 officially change your name to Lord or lady and you can get it on your credit card. You're playing
00:06:50.380 tickets. So this is like a legal name change. I am legally officially Lord Matt Walsh, Lord bestselling
00:06:56.400 children's author, Matt Walsh. Established titles is having a great limited time sale. So go to
00:07:00.140 established titles.com slash Matt Walsh to save 10% off today. Remember to use the discount code Matt
00:07:05.300 Walsh or just click the link below that's established titles.com slash Matt Walsh, or just
00:07:09.500 click the link below. Now, really, I forgot how terrible she was. I think I blocked that out of
00:07:14.960 my memory. And a lot of these suppressed memories are coming back from my subconscious. I think that's
00:07:21.060 going to be hard to beat, but let's see if Lily Singh has what it takes to earn the title of the worst 1.00
00:07:26.080 feminist comedian. So I've been, I've been putting this off for a long time. Months ago, I began my quest
00:07:31.600 to find a funny feminist comedian. Well, not even a funny feminist comedian, actually, 1.00
00:07:35.920 because the bar is lower than that. I just, they don't need to be funny all the time or even most
00:07:40.420 of the time. I just need to find a feminist comedian who can make me laugh one time. I want 1.00
00:07:45.860 just one laugh. That's all I'm asking for. I don't even need them to be funny twice, just one time.
00:07:50.600 And so far I've come up empty. So I tried to laugh at Samantha Bee. Instead, I nearly died of boredom.
00:07:56.140 I tried to laugh at Hannah Gadsby. Instead, I was depressed for three days afterwards. Tried to laugh
00:08:00.600 at Chelsea Handler. And instead I left only feeling very concerned. I'm not suicidal. You don't have
00:08:05.700 to worry about it. I did not laugh at any of their jokes or even come close to laughing. So today I'm
00:08:11.280 getting back on the horse and we're going to try to ride this thing to victory. Today I will try to
00:08:15.580 laugh at one of the newest comedy sensations in the female comedy space. Her name is Lily Singh.
00:08:23.120 She was a popular YouTuber who then became a late night host. I just found out about her existence
00:08:28.500 two days ago. So that's how plugged in I am to everything. She replaced apparently Carson
00:08:33.660 Daly. Carson Daly has had a job on television for about 73 years. A little mummy reference,
00:08:38.740 a little Joan Rivers, put them together. It's funny. It's not easy to fill those shoes is what 0.95
00:08:42.520 I'm saying. Lily Singh is trying. Feminist lover. She's a big star apparently. Maybe she's the one who 1.00
00:08:48.260 can crack the code. Let's find out. We'll start with this. This is a bit she did on International
00:08:53.440 Women's Day. I am pumped because this Sunday we're celebrating International Women's Day, y'all.
00:09:00.440 Now, don't worry. You don't have to remember to go out and get anyone flowers. You just have to
00:09:08.020 remember to go out and fight for equal pay for women in the workplace. Yeah. I think it's by the
00:09:14.520 checkout at CVS. Now, I know there are guys out there thinking, International Women's Day? Why don't we 0.70
00:09:22.340 have an International Men's Day? God bless you, Twitter. Well, you're in luck because you do.
00:09:28.840 It's actually on November 19th. But you wouldn't know that because you're too busy celebrating it
00:09:34.400 every other day of the year. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I do this? I don't, I'm just
00:09:46.480 doubting my own life choices. This is the level of humor that we're starting with.
00:09:52.340 Every day is Men's Day. Har, har, har. It's so unoriginal and witless that you may as well not 1.00
00:09:57.460 say anything. There's no point of even making the joke if that's what, if it's between making
00:10:01.840 no joke or pulling a joke from a Facebook meme from five years ago, then you may as well make
00:10:07.440 no joke at all. You may as well get up there for your monologue and just stare blankly into
00:10:11.600 the camera. That would be significantly funnier than this so far. By the way, you're damn right,
00:10:16.380 lady. Every day is Men's Day. Every day is my day as a man. You are damn right. 0.98
00:10:21.380 Every day could be your day too. If you just went out and asserted yourself instead of whining 0.96
00:10:26.340 about sexism and being so damn focused on how everyone else feels about you. You know,
00:10:31.580 when you sit around demanding that other people affirm you and celebrate you, if that's how
00:10:35.580 you live your life, then yeah, you get one day of the year. That's all you get. I take
00:10:39.600 every day. I go and take it. Okay. Not funny so far, but maybe this will get better. Let's
00:10:44.020 keep listening. Also, fun fact, November 19th is also International Toilet Day. Now, I'm not saying
00:10:53.980 men are toilets, but both holidays are mostly catered towards a bunch of white johns. 0.90
00:10:59.960 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Lord, save me. Deliver me from this trial. White johns. 1.00
00:11:09.720 That joke made the cut. Consider this. Okay. This is a late night show. Presumably, they have some
00:11:17.620 kind of writer's room. You wouldn't know it from the material, but I assume they do. So there were
00:11:21.860 a bunch of jokes that didn't make it to air. Right? They actually threw out jokes because they were
00:11:29.200 worse than that. Maybe there's a brilliant writer in that room. Probably a man. Let's be honest. No
00:11:35.460 offense. Could be the second coming of Richard Pryor in that room, writing material. And maybe
00:11:40.560 her sense of humor is so bad that she throws those out. The brilliant material. I don't like that.
00:11:46.040 White johns, though. That is killer. Let's do that. This is the female equivalent of basically a dad 1.00
00:11:51.400 joke. But dad jokes don't work unless they're coming from a dad. I don't mean to be sexist,
00:11:56.000 but you got to be a man to pull it off. You can't do a dad joke in a dress is what I'm trying to say.
00:11:59.800 I feel like not enough people know about International Women's Day.
00:12:03.500 I remember I asked one guy if he knew what IWD is, and he said,
00:12:08.840 Yeah. Can you believe George Bush lied about them being in Iraq?
00:12:12.380 What are you talking about?
00:12:15.380 According to Wikipedia, International Women's Day is only an official holiday
00:12:21.880 in 26 countries. And wait for it.
00:12:24.360 The U.S. is not one of them. That's right.
00:12:28.300 Essentially, it's the difference between how I'm treated on this show
00:12:32.420 and how I'm treated when I try to get a drink at a bar.
00:12:35.760 What?
00:12:38.460 Lily, you don't have to do this to yourself. You really don't. You had a good thing going.
00:12:42.700 You had a good life. You had your YouTube channel. You were making money.
00:12:45.340 This is so bad that Carson Daly is starting to look charismatic by comparison.
00:12:51.100 People are actually pining now for the comedic genius of Carson Daly.
00:12:56.000 That's how bad this is.
00:12:57.080 Maybe that was the plan all along by NBC.
00:13:00.140 Maybe they just brought her in to make people appreciate Carson Daly more. I don't know.
00:13:05.340 Do you know why International Women's Day isn't an official holiday in the U.S.? 1.00
00:13:08.860 Because it's stupid. Why would we have a holiday to celebrate women? 1.00
00:13:12.580 Yeah, celebrate certain women.
00:13:14.020 If you want to be celebrated, go out and do something to be celebrated for.
00:13:18.820 Not just because you're a woman. That's not an accomplishment to be one. 1.00
00:13:22.240 Tell a funny joke, Lily.
00:13:24.000 That would be an achievement. You tell a funny joke and I will name a holiday after you.
00:13:30.740 I'll build you a statue. I'll name a galaxy after you.
00:13:33.400 Just tell one funny joke. That's all I ask.
00:13:35.680 Yeah, I think both are, in my opinion, equally horrible as I expected them to be.
00:13:40.260 So it's kind of a difficult choice to make.
00:13:42.260 But since I'm being forced to choose one, if I have to choose, I think the winner of the worst feminist comedian title would have to belong to Samantha Bee. 1.00
00:13:55.960 I think I got to give it to her.
00:13:57.580 In the end, she's the uber feminist comedian and the worst of a lot. 1.00
00:14:02.320 But you can leave your comments below and let me know what you think.