Try to Laugh Samantha Bee vs Lily Singh
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
181.09267
Summary
As we enter the new year, I thought it d be fun to take a trip down memory lane and review some of the feminists that we ve watched over the last year. Not really fun, but maybe fun for you to watch me in my pain.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
You know, as we enter the new year, I thought it'd be fun to take a trip down memory lane
00:00:04.420
and review some of the feminists that we've watched, some of the feminist comedians we've
00:00:08.620
watched over the last year. Not really fun. I mean, fun's not the right word. It's actually
00:00:11.800
deeply traumatic for me, but maybe fun for you to watch me in my pain, you sadists.
00:00:17.720
So we're going to start with the feminist comedians, you know, scare quotes around comedians,
00:00:22.500
Samantha Bee and Lilly Singh. Now, both of these women were, it might seem equally unfunny,
00:00:28.580
but I think now's the time to see who wins the actual title of the worst feminist comedian
00:00:34.940
period of all time period. So first up, let's check out Samantha Bee.
00:00:39.660
So my producer suggested that I watch and review some feminist comedy bits and he suggested this
00:00:48.100
because evidently he hates my guts, which is understandable. I would hate me too if I wasn't
00:00:53.380
me. I am me and I hate me. So, you know, but the thing is I did actually watch some feminist
00:00:58.500
comedy in anticipation of doing this little YouTube video. And, but, but much of it was
00:01:04.860
I'm a feminist. And usually like, I'm, I'm like not an advocate of like street harassment
00:01:10.660
and stuff like that. Except from men that wear gray track suits.
00:01:19.900
I remember when Kate Middleton announced her pregnancy, I was like, ah, I wonder if she'll
00:01:28.320
That I thought maybe the fruit was hanging a little too low, a little too, a little, it's a little too
00:01:32.560
easy. And there's all kinds of euphemism packed into that last sentence that you can get into later.
00:01:37.840
But then I thought if I'm going to review feminist comedy, I shouldn't go for the obscure ones.
00:01:41.980
I should focus on a feminist comedian who is successful, well-known, allegedly talented.
00:01:48.420
And that's why I am going to focus on Samantha Bee. You know, Samantha Bee has her own comedy show
00:01:53.160
on Lifetime or whatever it's on. And she's hailed by the media as brilliant and hilarious and genius
00:01:59.940
and so on. That's what the media says about her. I figure she's the best of the best when it comes
00:02:04.460
to woke female comedians. So let me give her a shot. We're going to watch some Samantha Bee
00:02:09.640
together. And more than reviewing it, I think I want to see if I can find a reason to laugh.
00:02:18.460
I want to laugh at a Samantha Bee joke. I want to see if I can do that today. I'll try my hardest.
00:02:25.760
So let's watch this together. Let's start with this. We'll take a look. Okay.
00:02:29.320
Meatpacking workers often contend with cramped conditions, grueling labor and long hours. So it's
00:02:39.380
unsurprising that plants have become hotspots for COVID-19. If we want to keep our food supply safe,
00:02:45.400
we should first keep our workers safe. So naturally, the president isn't. Following aggressive lobbying
00:02:51.600
from the meat industry, Trump issued an executive order aimed at reopening meat processing plants.
00:02:56.640
Look, it's not shocking the president leapt into action to save meat because burgers? You in danger,
00:03:04.580
girl. Okay. So I think there were some jokes in there. I can't be sure. And this might be part
00:03:12.800
of Samantha Bee's genius that she tells jokes and nobody knows that they're jokes. So she's
00:03:18.880
deconstructing comedy. That's what I'm told. That's the thing about female comedians. Samantha Bee,
00:03:24.500
Hannah Gadsby. They're always deconstructing comedy rather than just telling funny jokes.
00:03:32.140
And I don't mean to imply that women aren't funny. I would never imply that. I, in fact,
00:03:37.200
am stating it explicitly. Just kidding. Not really, but sort of. Okay. Let's keep going.
00:03:43.000
From Ohio to New York, Michigan to California. This morning, the beef shortage at Wendy's is
00:03:49.080
spreading. The company with that unforgettable catchphrase decades ago is now having trouble
00:03:54.080
finding the beef. You're out of beef then? Out of patties? It's embarrassing that the
00:03:59.820
where's the beef place is out of beef. It'd be like if someone at Taco Bell was caught thinking
00:04:04.860
inside the bun. Okay. Let's stop right there. This is a professional comedian, folks. She makes
00:04:14.780
millions of dollars telling jokes. And yet she's never actually told one, so far as I can tell.
00:04:22.840
And so I'm starting to figure out that when people say Samantha Bee is funny, which I've never actually
00:04:27.840
heard anyone say that, but theoretically, if they do say that, they don't mean it on the scale of
00:04:33.580
comedians, right? They're using a different scale. What they mean is that she's funny
00:04:38.220
for a feminist, which is like saying a corn dog is healthy for carnival food. So maybe if we
00:04:46.680
understand it on that scale, we get into the mind of a feminist, maybe it becomes funny. So let's
00:04:51.880
keep going. With some food shortages and increased prices, the Federal Supplemental Nutrition Assistance
00:04:58.520
Program is more necessary than ever. About 38 million people rely on SNAP benefits to feed
00:05:05.200
their families. And last month, the USDA announced it would increase overall benefits 40% to give
00:05:10.920
families more money to buy food. Unfortunately, many food stamp households were left out of the
00:05:16.080
benefit expansion because they were already receiving the maximum amount. Now, while Democrats
00:05:21.340
are trying to raise benefits by 15%, Republicans are attempting to block that change. Just for context,
00:05:28.300
the maximum benefit for a family of four is only $646 per month. For Republicans, giving hungry
00:05:35.700
families an extra hundred bucks during a worldwide pandemic is too big of an ask, both because they
00:05:42.180
deeply, passionately don't give a about poor people and because Steve Mnuchin needs it to fashion
00:05:48.360
sheets for his bed. My God, my God in heaven, deliver me, Lord. If you feel like you're not getting the
00:06:00.100
respect you deserve in life, well, that might be because you don't have a title in front of your name
00:06:06.320
that causes people, forces people to respect you. And here's something that you could get. You could get
00:06:11.380
established titles, uh, your very own proclamation like I have declaring that you are a Lord or lady
00:06:18.320
and you have this and you will gain the respect you deserve. I guarantee you all you need is as one
00:06:22.660
square foot plot of land in Scotland and, um, established titles as a project based on a historic
00:06:27.400
Scottish custom where landowners are referred to as layers or Lords and ladies in English in your title
00:06:32.740
pack, which, uh, I hold my hand here. You'll receive at least one square foot of dedicated land on a
00:06:37.780
private estate and an official certificate with a crest. Your certificate will include a unique plot
00:06:42.240
number with which you can see the exact location of your land. With this certificate, you could
00:06:46.340
officially change your name to Lord or lady and you can get it on your credit card. You're playing
00:06:50.380
tickets. So this is like a legal name change. I am legally officially Lord Matt Walsh, Lord bestselling
00:06:56.400
children's author, Matt Walsh. Established titles is having a great limited time sale. So go to
00:07:00.140
established titles.com slash Matt Walsh to save 10% off today. Remember to use the discount code Matt
00:07:05.300
Walsh or just click the link below that's established titles.com slash Matt Walsh, or just
00:07:09.500
click the link below. Now, really, I forgot how terrible she was. I think I blocked that out of
00:07:14.960
my memory. And a lot of these suppressed memories are coming back from my subconscious. I think that's
00:07:21.060
going to be hard to beat, but let's see if Lily Singh has what it takes to earn the title of the worst
00:07:26.080
feminist comedian. So I've been, I've been putting this off for a long time. Months ago, I began my quest
00:07:31.600
to find a funny feminist comedian. Well, not even a funny feminist comedian, actually,
00:07:35.920
because the bar is lower than that. I just, they don't need to be funny all the time or even most
00:07:40.420
of the time. I just need to find a feminist comedian who can make me laugh one time. I want
00:07:45.860
just one laugh. That's all I'm asking for. I don't even need them to be funny twice, just one time.
00:07:50.600
And so far I've come up empty. So I tried to laugh at Samantha Bee. Instead, I nearly died of boredom.
00:07:56.140
I tried to laugh at Hannah Gadsby. Instead, I was depressed for three days afterwards. Tried to laugh
00:08:00.600
at Chelsea Handler. And instead I left only feeling very concerned. I'm not suicidal. You don't have
00:08:05.700
to worry about it. I did not laugh at any of their jokes or even come close to laughing. So today I'm
00:08:11.280
getting back on the horse and we're going to try to ride this thing to victory. Today I will try to
00:08:15.580
laugh at one of the newest comedy sensations in the female comedy space. Her name is Lily Singh.
00:08:23.120
She was a popular YouTuber who then became a late night host. I just found out about her existence
00:08:28.500
two days ago. So that's how plugged in I am to everything. She replaced apparently Carson
00:08:33.660
Daly. Carson Daly has had a job on television for about 73 years. A little mummy reference,
00:08:38.740
a little Joan Rivers, put them together. It's funny. It's not easy to fill those shoes is what
00:08:42.520
I'm saying. Lily Singh is trying. Feminist lover. She's a big star apparently. Maybe she's the one who
00:08:48.260
can crack the code. Let's find out. We'll start with this. This is a bit she did on International
00:08:53.440
Women's Day. I am pumped because this Sunday we're celebrating International Women's Day, y'all.
00:09:00.440
Now, don't worry. You don't have to remember to go out and get anyone flowers. You just have to
00:09:08.020
remember to go out and fight for equal pay for women in the workplace. Yeah. I think it's by the
00:09:14.520
checkout at CVS. Now, I know there are guys out there thinking, International Women's Day? Why don't we
00:09:22.340
have an International Men's Day? God bless you, Twitter. Well, you're in luck because you do.
00:09:28.840
It's actually on November 19th. But you wouldn't know that because you're too busy celebrating it
00:09:34.400
every other day of the year. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I do this? I don't, I'm just
00:09:46.480
doubting my own life choices. This is the level of humor that we're starting with.
00:09:52.340
Every day is Men's Day. Har, har, har. It's so unoriginal and witless that you may as well not
00:09:57.460
say anything. There's no point of even making the joke if that's what, if it's between making
00:10:01.840
no joke or pulling a joke from a Facebook meme from five years ago, then you may as well make
00:10:07.440
no joke at all. You may as well get up there for your monologue and just stare blankly into
00:10:11.600
the camera. That would be significantly funnier than this so far. By the way, you're damn right,
00:10:16.380
lady. Every day is Men's Day. Every day is my day as a man. You are damn right.
00:10:21.380
Every day could be your day too. If you just went out and asserted yourself instead of whining
00:10:26.340
about sexism and being so damn focused on how everyone else feels about you. You know,
00:10:31.580
when you sit around demanding that other people affirm you and celebrate you, if that's how
00:10:35.580
you live your life, then yeah, you get one day of the year. That's all you get. I take
00:10:39.600
every day. I go and take it. Okay. Not funny so far, but maybe this will get better. Let's
00:10:44.020
keep listening. Also, fun fact, November 19th is also International Toilet Day. Now, I'm not saying
00:10:53.980
men are toilets, but both holidays are mostly catered towards a bunch of white johns.
00:10:59.960
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Lord, save me. Deliver me from this trial. White johns.
00:11:09.720
That joke made the cut. Consider this. Okay. This is a late night show. Presumably, they have some
00:11:17.620
kind of writer's room. You wouldn't know it from the material, but I assume they do. So there were
00:11:21.860
a bunch of jokes that didn't make it to air. Right? They actually threw out jokes because they were
00:11:29.200
worse than that. Maybe there's a brilliant writer in that room. Probably a man. Let's be honest. No
00:11:35.460
offense. Could be the second coming of Richard Pryor in that room, writing material. And maybe
00:11:40.560
her sense of humor is so bad that she throws those out. The brilliant material. I don't like that.
00:11:46.040
White johns, though. That is killer. Let's do that. This is the female equivalent of basically a dad
00:11:51.400
joke. But dad jokes don't work unless they're coming from a dad. I don't mean to be sexist,
00:11:56.000
but you got to be a man to pull it off. You can't do a dad joke in a dress is what I'm trying to say.
00:11:59.800
I feel like not enough people know about International Women's Day.
00:12:03.500
I remember I asked one guy if he knew what IWD is, and he said,
00:12:08.840
Yeah. Can you believe George Bush lied about them being in Iraq?
00:12:15.380
According to Wikipedia, International Women's Day is only an official holiday
00:12:28.300
Essentially, it's the difference between how I'm treated on this show
00:12:32.420
and how I'm treated when I try to get a drink at a bar.
00:12:38.460
Lily, you don't have to do this to yourself. You really don't. You had a good thing going.
00:12:42.700
You had a good life. You had your YouTube channel. You were making money.
00:12:45.340
This is so bad that Carson Daly is starting to look charismatic by comparison.
00:12:51.100
People are actually pining now for the comedic genius of Carson Daly.
00:13:00.140
Maybe they just brought her in to make people appreciate Carson Daly more. I don't know.
00:13:05.340
Do you know why International Women's Day isn't an official holiday in the U.S.?
00:13:08.860
Because it's stupid. Why would we have a holiday to celebrate women?
00:13:14.020
If you want to be celebrated, go out and do something to be celebrated for.
00:13:18.820
Not just because you're a woman. That's not an accomplishment to be one.
00:13:24.000
That would be an achievement. You tell a funny joke and I will name a holiday after you.
00:13:30.740
I'll build you a statue. I'll name a galaxy after you.
00:13:35.680
Yeah, I think both are, in my opinion, equally horrible as I expected them to be.
00:13:42.260
But since I'm being forced to choose one, if I have to choose, I think the winner of the worst feminist comedian title would have to belong to Samantha Bee.
00:13:57.580
In the end, she's the uber feminist comedian and the worst of a lot.
00:14:02.320
But you can leave your comments below and let me know what you think.