Why Letting Kids Believe In Santa Is A GOOD Thing (Despite The Santa Haters)
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
193.90833
Summary
It's about that time of year when the debate about Santa starts to pop up on social media again. Is he real or not? And what does this have to do with our kids? In this episode, I break down the difference between believing in Santa and not believing in him.
Transcript
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You know, it's about that time of year again for the Santa discourse to start.
00:00:37.260
And every year, I'm seeing this on social media, you know, the great Santa debate.
00:00:41.280
And it started again. I don't know who started.
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But I'm seeing it pop up on my feed again, all the debating about Santa.
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Now, by the way, if you have little children in earshot, you should turn this off.
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Anyway, but if they are, you should turn it off.
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Because I do want to chime in on this, because it does annoy me.
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Here's just one, for example, from an account I follow.
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It says, if you tell your kids there's a Santa, you're lying to them.
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They're going to later find out that you lied to them
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and realize that you may again lie to them in the future.
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I don't know why parents do this, although mine didn't.
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But it's a good indicator of bad parenting in my book.
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We are Santa maxing, as the kids might say, every Christmas.
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Because here's what you have to understand about young kids.
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They don't understand what not real even means.
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So these parents that feel so proud of themselves because they go to, like, their four-year-old
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Do you understand your four-year-old doesn't know what you're talking about?
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Do you understand that your four-year-old not real doesn't mean anything?
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For your four-year-old, when you say Santa isn't real, well, he's like, well, what do
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They think fairies and leprechauns and dragons and mermaids are real.
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They're worried about, they're like, they're actually worried about a monster in their closet.
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That's like a real thing that a five-year-old is concerned about in his life.
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And when you say, maybe you had this conversation with your five-year-old, you said, well, monsters
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And there's not, I've tried to reason this way with my own kids.
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I open the closet, say, like, look, there's not, it's a wall, there's nothing in here.
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And the thing you're worried about doesn't even exist.
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And even if it did exist, like, it's not in your closet.
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They don't understand that because they have it in their imagination.
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And so if they have it in their mind, then it's real.
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They think every character they see on TV is real.
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Paw Patrol is a documentary for your four-year-old.
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Your four-year-old is not watching a cartoon show.
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Your four-year-old is watching, like, the real-life adventures live.
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For, you know, for a four-year-old, Paw Patrol is cops.
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It's like watching live footage of actual police officers at work.
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It's just that they happen to be, they happen to be, they happen to be dogs.
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With your kids, they have this fantastical view of the world.
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Well, do you extend that to everything else fantastical that they believe?
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Do you go out of your way to make sure they don't believe in anything else?
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If your five-year-old daughter came up to you and said,
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Would you like bend down and look her in the eyes and say, fairies aren't real?
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And when your five-year-old says, I saw a fairy in the garden.
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I mean, if telling your kids about Santa is lying, that would be lying too.
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This is a point that I think Jordan Peterson has made.
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When we tell your kids about Santa, are you lying to the internet?
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And now your kids don't really know that it's a game, but they don't know that any game is a game.
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Children live in a fantasy world where magic is real.
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And going out of your way to kill this kind of magical thinking on a five-year-old is ridiculous to me.
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Like, your kids get to live in a world for a short amount of time where there's actually a magical fat guy who flies through the air on reindeer and comes down a chimney and gives them presents.
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That, I mean, it's a little, as you get older and you think about it more cynically, it's a little bit creepy.
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And they get to actually live in that world, as far as they know.
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When do you tell your kids that Santa isn't real?
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You tell them at precisely the moment when they grow out of it anyway.
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And when that happens, you tell them that Santa was just a game.
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I don't even, like, I hear from these adults sometimes who talk about, well, when I found out Santa wasn't real, I was traumatized.
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You're an adult still dealing with the trauma of finding out Santa wasn't real?
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Because what should have happened, what happened with me, it's like, I think my parents told me officially.
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I don't even think my parents ever officially told me.
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I just kind of got to an age and I'm like, well, this obviously isn't real.
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Because you lose some of the innocence of childhood and you start to realize, like, okay, well, there's no fairies and leprechauns and stuff like that.
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We did this with our oldest kids, our oldest twins a few years ago.
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And they were excited because now they get to play the game on the other side with their younger siblings.
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And now they get to sort of be Santa around Christmas time.
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Not because they're malicious and they want, they're excited to lie to their siblings.
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But it's just a fun game that now they get to play and they get to help their younger siblings, you know, kind of have this kind of magical reality.
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So I would hope that that would just be the final statement on Santa.
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