The Michael Knowles Show - Former Astrologist Explains Danger of New Age Practices

00:00:00.000 I've been feeling depressed since I was 13.

00:00:03.160 That's, something's wrong.

00:00:05.280 That's a lie.

00:00:05.720 I don't want to do this anymore.

00:00:07.160 I'm just ready to die at this point.

00:00:08.740 I'm bawling my eyes out.

00:00:10.340 I just said out loud, Jesus, save me.

00:00:14.280 And something happened.

00:00:24.960 The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,

00:00:28.480 but in ourselves.

00:00:30.780 And sometimes in the stars,

00:00:32.740 specifically when we look to the stars

00:00:35.420 and compromise our free will

00:00:37.380 and start doing a dance with the devil.

00:00:39.260 That is what happened to Angela Ucci,

00:00:42.100 who dabbled in astrology,

00:00:44.780 hosted a very popular astrology podcast

00:00:47.780 to the moon and back,

00:00:50.280 and then got into all sorts of weird,

00:00:52.500 new agey, occult things.

00:00:55.140 Reiki, manifesting, crystals, tarot cards,

00:01:00.520 all the rest of it,

00:01:01.900 until she realized it was all really, really bad

00:01:04.400 and gave it all up.

00:01:06.020 Here with me is Angela Ucci,

00:01:08.300 now the host of the Heaven and...

00:01:11.600 Healing.

00:01:12.100 Heaven and healing.

00:01:12.920 Heaven and healing.

00:01:13.640 Thank you for coming on the show.

00:01:14.820 Thank you for having me.

00:01:15.860 Happy to be here.

00:01:16.500 We chatted a few weeks ago

00:01:18.020 on my member block at the Daily Wire,

00:01:20.440 and I said,

00:01:21.160 this needs to go way, way longer.

00:01:23.960 I want to know way more about what's happened,

00:01:25.760 because people write into me all the time,

00:01:27.180 and I even have just friends

00:01:28.240 ask me in my regular lives,

00:01:31.260 Michael, what do you know about the law of attraction?

00:01:33.680 Michael, what do you know about the secret?

00:01:34.880 What do you know about the crystals,

00:01:36.800 and Reiki, and astrology,

00:01:38.440 and all this stuff that I say

00:01:40.540 seems really, really kooky and weird,

00:01:43.200 but I don't know anything about it?

00:01:45.800 You do, and you say,

00:01:47.400 it's not all just fun and games.

00:01:48.800 It gets pretty, pretty dark.

00:01:49.900 Mm-hmm.

00:01:51.160 So I was involved with occult practices

00:01:55.540 for almost a full decade.

00:01:59.320 I had an extremely tragic death in my family in 2014.

00:02:03.160 We touched on this briefly when we spoke.

00:02:05.040 My grandmother died.

00:02:06.320 I was on a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean

00:02:07.920 when it happened,

00:02:09.300 and she was like my best friend in the world.

00:02:11.140 I grew up with a single mom,

00:02:12.660 did the best she could,

00:02:13.780 love her to death,

00:02:14.460 but she could only do so much.

00:02:16.700 So grandma really kind of stepped in

00:02:18.640 and took over with after-school care,

00:02:22.060 things like that.

00:02:22.640 So we were very, very close growing up.

00:02:25.180 She was my everything.

00:02:26.200 Kind of in hindsight, she was my God.

00:02:29.920 And when she died,

00:02:31.180 it was absolute tragedy for me.

00:02:34.060 It was the worst thing that's ever happened.

00:02:36.680 And once that occurred,

00:02:39.980 I was desperate for any way to connect with her,

00:02:44.600 to talk to her again,

00:02:45.860 to experience her again.

00:02:49.740 And I didn't know any better.

00:02:52.140 All I knew was my pain.

00:02:54.100 And I know now that Satan kind of capitalizes on trauma.

00:02:57.880 Everyone I talk to that's coming out of New Age

00:02:59.740 doesn't have the same story as me,

00:03:02.780 but often there is a pinpoint traumatic moment

00:03:06.040 where they started to go down this rabbit hole.

00:03:09.660 And so I went to see a medium.

00:03:13.180 I consulted a psychic medium after she passed.

00:03:16.980 And the medium knew things

00:03:18.740 that she just really had no business knowing.

00:03:20.640 It was astounding at the time.

00:03:23.320 And I was hooked.

00:03:26.060 I was just 100% all in from that point forward.

00:03:29.840 And it just was a domino effect from there.

00:03:31.660 So the medium had cards,

00:03:35.740 angel cards,

00:03:36.600 oracle cards as she called them.

00:03:38.220 And I bought that same deck.

00:03:40.000 I went on and bought that same deck

00:03:41.260 by Doreen Virtue,

00:03:42.380 who about five to seven years ago

00:03:45.860 actually came out and said,

00:03:48.880 I'm not selling these cards anymore.

00:03:50.240 God told me that these are demonic.

00:03:52.400 I can't do this.

00:03:53.540 I want to pull back all of my inventory.

00:03:55.520 She had books out.

00:03:56.400 She was like traveling the world.

00:03:57.900 She lived in Hawaii,

00:03:59.060 making so much money from doing this stuff.

00:04:01.280 And just denounced all of it

00:04:02.720 when Christ came to her.

00:04:04.360 And so when I had heard that years ago,

00:04:08.020 this is when I was really deep into all of it.

00:04:09.920 I thought, well, she lost her mind.

00:04:11.820 But it's kind of a full circle moment.

00:04:14.060 I went out, bought those cards.

00:04:14.660 Now you realize you had lost your mind.

00:04:15.800 Right, I had lost my mind.

00:04:16.940 I was the kooky one.

00:04:18.320 And so after I got into cards,

00:04:22.260 I wanted to learn how to develop

00:04:23.560 my own psychic medium skills.

00:04:25.420 So I would buy books about that.

00:04:27.640 And this is all kind of alongside of self-help,

00:04:30.760 getting into like the self-help kind of culture

00:04:33.220 that just teaches you off the bat,

00:04:35.920 you know, you are your own best asset.

00:04:38.120 You, you, you, you, you.

00:04:39.320 It's all like essentially narcissistic therapy

00:04:42.400 in all of these books.

00:04:44.040 So I'm doing that alongside

00:04:45.600 learning about psychic mediumship

00:04:48.500 and learning about tarot cards

00:04:50.040 and things like that.

00:04:52.020 That spiraled into yoga practice and Reiki

00:04:56.140 because I had also,

00:04:57.760 after my grandma passed,

00:04:59.480 decided I was going to take control of my health

00:05:01.640 because I was very overweight at the time.

00:05:03.380 I was only 20, 21 years old

00:05:05.080 and I weighed over 260 pounds.

00:05:06.840 I was not well.

00:05:09.120 And I realized I was kind of setting myself up

00:05:10.900 on the same path as my grandmother

00:05:12.140 because ultimately it was her health

00:05:13.840 that did her in.

00:05:15.380 So I don't want to do that anymore.

00:05:16.840 Um, so I'm learning about self-help.

00:05:20.620 I'm losing weight, getting healthy,

00:05:22.240 developing this nice relationship

00:05:23.840 with food and exercise

00:05:24.720 and also getting into spirituality.

00:05:27.980 So this is all these moving parts.

00:05:29.840 But the yoga was originally,

00:05:32.340 um, physical wellness,

00:05:35.480 like a way to kind of supplement

00:05:36.760 my weight loss process.

00:05:38.040 But that very quickly became spiritual

00:05:39.940 the more I read about it.

00:05:41.000 And then I became a yoga teacher years later.

00:05:43.040 And that, as I learned about the history of yoga,

00:05:47.020 that just brought me right into Hinduism

00:05:49.160 and all those concepts.

00:05:50.520 Well, of course, because people think yoga

00:05:51.680 is just stretching or something, you know,

00:05:53.920 but really it's a religious liturgy.

00:05:56.140 Not, not just the kind of liturgy

00:05:58.480 of liberal white girls in the suburbs,

00:06:00.640 which is what it has effectively become in America.

00:06:03.080 But it goes back much further

00:06:04.680 and it's a Hindu spiritual practice.

00:06:06.860 And the word yoga literally means yoke.

00:06:09.460 And so in that context, it's to yoke spirit.

00:06:11.500 So it's an invitation for the Hindu gods

00:06:15.740 to kind of come into your body.

00:06:16.940 And a lot of the poses are specifically reenactments

00:06:21.540 or paying homage to scenes with ancient gods

00:06:26.100 and things like that.

00:06:27.260 And I have to pause you.

00:06:28.640 For people who are going to say,

00:06:30.140 well, that's crazy.

00:06:31.100 That's insane.

00:06:32.280 You think you're inviting all these spirits in.

00:06:34.180 It's just yoga.

00:06:35.160 I guess I would have to ask those people,

00:06:37.040 hey, don't you think it's a little weird

00:06:39.980 that in your physical stretches

00:06:43.100 as you are presenting these things to be,

00:06:46.340 that you regularly chant and invoke

00:06:49.380 ancient kind of Vedic or Hindu utterances?

00:06:53.760 Isn't that a little weird that you go into poses

00:06:55.480 that are explicitly and intentionally spiritual?

00:06:59.220 Which of us is the crazy one here?

00:07:01.520 Because I'm just reading into this longstanding tradition

00:07:04.740 what it has already presented,

00:07:06.960 always presented itself as doing.

00:07:08.960 Right.

00:07:09.500 And that's kind of a misconception a lot of people have.

00:07:13.260 Even Christians that I talk to now say,

00:07:15.140 well, what's so bad about yoga?

00:07:19.080 I challenge you, go into a yoga studio

00:07:21.660 and try and say God's name.

00:07:25.020 You can't.

00:07:25.840 It doesn't fit.

00:07:26.600 You can feel it.

00:07:27.320 When I was a yoga teacher toward the end,

00:07:28.780 I tried doing it and just,

00:07:30.780 you can just feel from the class.

00:07:32.180 You're not saying you physically can't utter the word God.

00:07:35.620 Right.

00:07:35.920 You're just saying no one in that class is.

00:07:37.800 It doesn't, people don't want it.

00:07:39.460 Right.

00:07:39.760 I was even told,

00:07:40.580 because I used to put yoga videos on YouTube as well

00:07:43.900 and I would try and say,

00:07:45.600 you know, let's let God's presence come into the room.

00:07:49.620 Kind of just,

00:07:50.340 when I was trying to straddle the fence of both at the time,

00:07:53.460 this was about a year ago,

00:07:55.060 so I would get comments,

00:07:56.560 people saying,

00:07:57.820 I don't like that word,

00:07:58.720 could you say universe?

00:07:59.920 So it's the whole...

00:08:02.280 I don't like that word.

00:08:02.920 Can you say Moloch, please?

00:08:04.040 Right.

00:08:04.360 Say Bobo.

00:08:06.240 So the yogi concept of God

00:08:09.860 is very much source, universe,

00:08:13.540 we are all God mindset.

00:08:16.220 And alongside with what you were saying,

00:08:18.980 with the chanting and things like that,

00:08:20.880 it's not just the chanting,

00:08:22.200 it's the poses themselves.

00:08:23.240 They're very unnatural.

00:08:24.500 It's very different than just stretching.

00:08:26.160 Yeah.

00:08:26.540 So...

00:08:27.060 If you want to stretch,

00:08:27.860 you can do Pilates, right?

00:08:28.920 There's no ohms and ahs in Pilates.

00:08:32.020 And so I always say that

00:08:33.500 yoga is not a physical practice

00:08:35.880 with spiritual benefits,

00:08:36.820 it's a spiritual practice with physical benefits.

00:08:39.480 So it's just...

00:08:40.320 So you got into yoga,

00:08:41.500 you're a yoga teacher,

00:08:42.780 you mentioned Reiki.

00:08:44.080 Right.

00:08:44.540 I've heard this word before,

00:08:46.480 again, from my kind of white girl liberal friends,

00:08:50.440 and I, to confess my ignorance,

00:08:51.680 I have no idea what it is.

00:08:53.140 It's energy healing.

00:08:55.100 So the idea is...

00:08:57.680 And when I say these things now,

00:08:59.160 I feel like I just sound absolutely insane

00:09:01.060 for having believed it so much.

00:09:04.660 So it's essentially,

00:09:07.480 you are able to,

00:09:09.960 allegedly able to,

00:09:11.280 tap into the universal energy,

00:09:13.740 universal consciousness,

00:09:15.380 and how that energy is supposed to be

00:09:18.140 all love and healing.

00:09:19.440 And so you are kind of the vessel

00:09:21.600 for that energy to enter in.

00:09:24.440 And you lay your hands over somebody,

00:09:28.460 usually like a massage table,

00:09:30.260 and you facilitate that energy through their body,

00:09:34.140 and you move through their chakra system,

00:09:36.400 which, again, that kind of ties into yoga.

00:09:38.960 So the idea is that we have

00:09:40.420 these seven energy channels in the body,

00:09:42.760 in the throat, in the heart,

00:09:43.840 and they all operate different things for us,

00:09:46.820 like where our insecurities are,

00:09:48.880 and our self-expression,

00:09:50.460 our creativity, sexual energy,

00:09:52.420 things like that.

00:09:53.600 And so, for instance,

00:09:56.140 someone might say,

00:09:57.920 I'm having kind of really bad cramps.

00:10:01.560 Can you kind of clear that energy for me?

00:10:03.640 And so you could deduct from that

00:10:05.620 based on where the pain is

00:10:07.860 and the chakra associated that,

00:10:10.560 oh, you are probably having

00:10:12.660 some sort of creativity block.

00:10:14.400 Yeah, I'll clear that out for you.

00:10:15.880 And so that's the idea.

00:10:17.580 And you could use crystals

00:10:18.620 to help facilitate that

00:10:20.020 because all the crystals, of course,

00:10:21.500 have their designated healing qualities,

00:10:25.880 supposedly.

00:10:27.840 I gotta ask.

00:10:29.120 Sure.

00:10:30.960 Does it work?

00:10:32.440 Or even,

00:10:34.280 does it do anything?

00:10:38.000 It does.

00:10:38.940 It definitely puts you

00:10:39.880 in an altered state of consciousness.

00:10:41.580 And that's not just for the person receiving.

00:10:43.800 It's also the facilitator as well sometimes.

00:10:46.880 I would have really intense,

00:10:47.940 because I would facilitate it

00:10:49.240 and also receive.

00:10:50.580 When I would facilitate,

00:10:51.500 I would get moments where

00:10:52.680 my hands would get very hot

00:10:54.260 if I was over someone's throat or something,

00:10:57.360 and that was my cue

00:10:58.420 that needed extra attention.

00:11:01.180 Do you think there's a physical,

00:11:02.880 natural explanation for that, or no?

00:11:04.420 My understanding

00:11:05.880 is that

00:11:07.880 it's

00:11:09.360 supposed to just be

00:11:11.340 the energy accessible

00:11:12.720 to all of us.

00:11:14.300 So

00:11:14.780 we all,

00:11:16.840 in a way,

00:11:17.720 experience,

00:11:18.340 if you're having a creativity block,

00:11:19.660 in a way,

00:11:20.000 I am too.

00:11:20.980 So that's why I'm able

00:11:22.040 to recognize it,

00:11:23.480 because we're all one

00:11:24.540 kind of mindset.

00:11:26.820 And to answer your question

00:11:28.100 in regard to

00:11:28.820 does it work,

00:11:30.120 it is a Band-Aid

00:11:31.800 on a gunshot wound.

00:11:32.840 It works

00:11:33.560 until it doesn't,

00:11:35.500 and you need more,

00:11:36.600 and you need more,

00:11:37.360 and you need more.

00:11:38.980 It really,

00:11:40.040 for me,

00:11:40.620 would alleviate,

00:11:42.040 it's like taking Tylenol.

00:11:43.080 It would just alleviate

00:11:43.920 the symptoms,

00:11:44.680 but not necessarily

00:11:45.520 fix the problem.

00:11:45.880 It's like taking heroin.

00:11:47.120 Right.

00:11:47.420 And I always say

00:11:48.040 these things are spiritual narcotics,

00:11:49.520 because that's exactly

00:11:50.160 what they are.

00:11:50.600 You get addicted to it.

00:11:51.540 You get addicted to the highs.

00:11:52.800 You know,

00:11:52.920 you leave a Reiki session.

00:11:53.980 Wow, I feel great.

00:11:54.960 I feel so refreshed.

00:11:56.260 I'm cleansed.

00:11:57.560 And then two weeks later,

00:11:58.540 you have a mental breakdown,

00:11:59.520 and you're like,

00:12:00.780 well,

00:12:01.280 I guess this chakra

00:12:02.460 is still kind of clogged,

00:12:03.880 or I didn't cut these cords

00:12:05.640 from my past life

00:12:06.720 sort of thing.

00:12:07.360 There was always an excuse

00:12:08.320 to justify

00:12:08.940 why you needed more.

00:12:10.740 You believed in past lives?

00:12:12.200 Oh, yeah.

00:12:13.020 I believed a lot

00:12:13.920 of crazy things.

00:12:14.580 I was from the yoga

00:12:16.340 and the Reiki.

00:12:19.520 I was at this point

00:12:22.400 where, again,

00:12:22.940 I'm studying self-help.

00:12:24.520 I'm getting healthy.

00:12:25.680 I'm finally at a place

00:12:26.780 where I don't hate myself

00:12:28.140 when I look in the mirror

00:12:28.820 because I had lost

00:12:29.440 over 100 pounds.

00:12:31.700 And this was about

00:12:32.940 six years ago.

00:12:35.100 So I'm still sad.

00:12:37.180 You know,

00:12:37.480 I thought I had worked

00:12:38.660 through the grievances

00:12:40.020 of my grandmother

00:12:40.680 the best that I could

00:12:41.620 by getting healthy.

00:12:42.440 I thought,

00:12:42.860 I'm eating well.

00:12:43.960 I'm working out.

00:12:45.180 Why am I still so depressed?

00:12:46.760 I'm reading all these

00:12:47.640 self-help books,

00:12:48.740 like so many self-help books.

00:12:50.360 You should have seen my show.

00:12:51.280 It was ridiculous.

00:12:52.060 Why am I not getting better?

00:12:54.880 I'm journaling every day.

00:12:55.780 I'm doing yoga every day.

00:12:57.100 I'm getting Reiki done.

00:12:58.620 I find the people

00:12:59.640 who get into New Age

00:13:01.240 and Reiki

00:13:01.880 and who are really into yoga,

00:13:04.060 they always seem to read

00:13:05.780 a ton of self-help books.

00:13:07.140 Yeah, there's a correlation.

00:13:08.720 What's that about?

00:13:10.440 A savior complex,

00:13:11.840 a self-savior complex.

00:13:14.160 As opposed to

00:13:14.940 a savior-savior complex.

00:13:15.600 Right.

00:13:15.920 Everything is counterfeit gospel.

00:13:18.560 Everything,

00:13:19.540 all these practices

00:13:20.440 in one way or another

00:13:21.420 is a counterfeit gospel.

00:13:24.080 And that is

00:13:25.440 where I'm going to get into

00:13:26.520 probably the weirdest part

00:13:27.600 of my story

00:13:28.180 where I'm up

00:13:29.980 maybe 2 or 3 a.m.

00:13:31.720 one night

00:13:32.120 Googling

00:13:32.680 why do I feel

00:13:33.640 like this?

00:13:35.720 Why do I feel like

00:13:36.320 I don't belong?

00:13:37.600 Why do I feel like

00:13:38.580 I'm almost like an alien

00:13:40.120 on this planet?

00:13:41.080 And so I find

00:13:42.100 information,

00:13:44.180 journals

00:13:44.460 from people

00:13:45.320 saying,

00:13:45.940 well actually,

00:13:46.420 it turns out

00:13:46.680 you are an alien.

00:13:47.880 So yeah,

00:13:48.320 I literally believed

00:13:49.420 I was an alien.

00:13:50.760 They're called starseeds.

00:13:53.460 And the idea

00:13:54.580 is that

00:13:55.540 starseeds

00:13:56.520 come from

00:13:57.920 another dimension,

00:14:00.640 another star system,

00:14:01.960 another planet,

00:14:03.180 another galaxy.

00:14:04.100 Like I was mentally ill

00:14:05.040 if you couldn't tell.

00:14:06.780 But were you mentally ill

00:14:08.340 in, you know,

00:14:09.760 I don't know,

00:14:10.240 some part of your brain

00:14:11.200 was firing the wrong way?

00:14:12.880 Or were you just deluded?

00:14:15.840 I was deluded.

00:14:16.340 You diluted,

00:14:17.140 I mean this was,

00:14:17.680 it was not as though,

00:14:18.520 you know,

00:14:18.760 you pop a pill

00:14:19.420 and it fixes

00:14:19.900 a chemical imbalance.

00:14:21.000 You had just

00:14:22.140 gone so far

00:14:23.700 down this rabbit trail

00:14:24.940 that it compounded

00:14:26.640 on itself.

00:14:27.260 It just spiraled,

00:14:27.540 right.

00:14:27.940 Yeah,

00:14:28.320 absolutely.

00:14:29.820 So I'm reading

00:14:30.420 all this stuff

00:14:30.860 and it made sense

00:14:31.460 to me because it said,

00:14:32.280 you know,

00:14:32.480 you've always felt

00:14:33.140 like an outsider

00:14:33.880 because you are

00:14:34.520 an outsider.

00:14:35.080 You don't belong

00:14:35.680 and you came here

00:14:37.580 to help Earth.

00:14:39.160 So the starseed gospel

00:14:40.460 as I call it

00:14:41.220 is that

00:14:41.780 you are

00:14:44.480 kind of a light worker

00:14:46.340 that has

00:14:47.540 observed the state

00:14:50.460 of our planet

00:14:51.420 and because

00:14:52.880 coming back to this idea

00:14:54.140 that we're all one energy,

00:14:55.620 the universe is all one,

00:14:57.660 it's like,

00:14:58.380 well,

00:14:58.700 if this planet

00:14:59.500 is out of whack,

00:15:00.800 then that's going to

00:15:01.780 ripple throughout

00:15:02.360 the universe

00:15:02.940 and create chaos

00:15:04.480 throughout the universe

00:15:05.160 so we need to

00:15:06.140 find harmony

00:15:07.000 amongst ourselves

00:15:08.120 and so the light workers

00:15:09.420 from different galaxies

00:15:11.140 come in to Earth

00:15:12.600 to ascend the collective,

00:15:14.840 that's the narrative

00:15:15.680 and we do that

00:15:18.520 with our healing modalities,

00:15:21.880 Reiki and astrology,

00:15:23.500 we teach these things

00:15:24.520 to help.

00:15:24.920 So this,

00:15:25.320 it's obviously

00:15:25.820 very esoteric.

00:15:27.260 Indeed.

00:15:27.880 But I guess

00:15:29.460 I'm only half having trouble

00:15:32.660 because I've gone

00:15:33.360 kind of down

00:15:33.780 weird rabbit holes too

00:15:34.780 which we can get to

00:15:35.500 a little later.

00:15:36.760 I've never thought

00:15:37.540 I was an alien

00:15:38.100 but I've gone down

00:15:39.080 pretty weird rabbit holes

00:15:39.920 but in that moment,

00:15:41.360 so you're looking this up

00:15:42.300 and you know,

00:15:43.120 this website says,

00:15:43.960 oh actually,

00:15:44.700 you know,

00:15:45.000 Angela,

00:15:45.420 you're an alien.

00:15:46.140 Yes.

00:15:47.840 How did you persuade

00:15:49.640 yourself of that?

00:15:50.380 Like,

00:15:50.600 how would that have worked?

00:15:52.080 It justified my sadness

00:15:53.540 and it gave me a purpose

00:15:54.820 because I felt like

00:15:55.920 I was meaningless.

00:15:57.320 I didn't know

00:15:58.420 why I was here.

00:15:59.440 I wanted to die

00:16:00.280 to be quite frank.

00:16:01.220 I was very suicidal,

00:16:03.380 flirted with suicide

00:16:04.900 in high school,

00:16:05.880 on and off,

00:16:06.540 in college,

00:16:07.380 self-harm,

00:16:08.100 I did all the things

00:16:09.260 and it never got better.

00:16:11.640 You know,

00:16:11.840 I was like 25

00:16:13.260 feeling the same way

00:16:14.340 that I did when I was 15

00:16:15.480 despite all the work

00:16:17.400 I was doing

00:16:18.060 and despite how hard

00:16:19.100 I was trying

00:16:19.640 every single day

00:16:20.540 to just pull myself up

00:16:21.440 by the bootstraps

00:16:22.120 and feel good

00:16:23.560 and just wasn't,

00:16:25.960 just wasn't ever

00:16:27.000 really hitting

00:16:27.760 in what I was really

00:16:29.280 looking for

00:16:29.780 which I know now

00:16:30.380 was God

00:16:30.880 but,

00:16:32.180 yeah,

00:16:33.440 when I was

00:16:34.000 first learning

00:16:35.500 thinking about

00:16:35.760 the Starseed thing

00:16:36.660 it was like,

00:16:39.040 wow,

00:16:39.280 okay,

00:16:39.440 this makes sense

00:16:39.960 so I chose this life.

00:16:41.160 I chose to be here.

00:16:42.660 I chose this suffering

00:16:43.800 because it's teaching

00:16:45.380 me something.

00:16:46.500 It's my karma

00:16:47.220 that I'm working through

00:16:48.400 because when I work out

00:16:50.020 that bad stuff

00:16:50.820 it helps the universe

00:16:52.020 with its bad stuff.

00:16:53.480 It kind of doesn't make sense

00:16:54.600 because it's not real

00:16:56.560 so,

00:16:57.500 and it's all

00:16:59.280 kind of self-refuting

00:17:00.200 because it's like,

00:17:01.540 well,

00:17:02.580 we're the mess

00:17:03.560 but we're also

00:17:04.400 the cleanup crew.

00:17:05.940 Like,

00:17:06.080 it just doesn't

00:17:06.680 really match up.

00:17:07.980 Like,

00:17:08.100 you're the knot

00:17:08.620 but you also have

00:17:09.240 to untangle the knot.

00:17:10.840 It doesn't make sense.

00:17:11.560 So you're not

00:17:12.620 in control at all

00:17:13.480 but you're totally

00:17:14.280 in control of everything.

00:17:15.160 Exactly.

00:17:16.020 Right.

00:17:16.860 Exactly.

00:17:17.560 And,

00:17:17.800 with the whole

00:17:19.540 Starseed thing

00:17:20.220 that just got me

00:17:21.200 obsessed with space.

00:17:23.320 Wanting to find

00:17:24.140 my star family.

00:17:25.300 I would do

00:17:25.960 meditation

00:17:27.260 and like

00:17:28.540 walk through things

00:17:29.500 to try and

00:17:30.460 like connect

00:17:31.420 with those beings.

00:17:34.480 The star?

00:17:35.840 The star people.

00:17:38.320 Did you,

00:17:39.100 did you connect?

00:17:40.040 I had experiences

00:17:41.260 where I felt

00:17:42.200 like I saw things

00:17:43.820 and felt things

00:17:45.520 like in my room.

00:17:47.080 They were always

00:17:48.040 like blue.

00:17:49.620 Yeah,

00:17:50.080 really,

00:17:50.800 really strange

00:17:51.600 and I don't

00:17:52.420 Did they have a shape?

00:17:54.400 Long,

00:17:55.120 like,

00:17:55.380 like the typical,

00:17:56.760 you know,

00:17:57.260 kind of alien

00:17:58.140 that you see

00:17:58.520 in a sci-fi movie

00:17:59.400 but like

00:18:00.020 not scary,

00:18:01.400 like light.

00:18:02.540 But,

00:18:03.280 What do you think

00:18:03.740 that was?

00:18:04.380 Just a hallucination

00:18:05.440 or a,

00:18:06.120 To be perfectly honest,

00:18:07.080 a demon.

00:18:07.660 Yeah.

00:18:08.480 That's my understanding

00:18:09.640 of ghosts,

00:18:12.220 anything of that

00:18:13.340 kind of sort.

00:18:13.740 You don't believe

00:18:14.040 in ghosts?

00:18:15.100 I don't.

00:18:16.320 There's a ghost

00:18:16.840 in the Bible.

00:18:18.100 Is there?

00:18:18.960 So,

00:18:19.460 when Saul goes

00:18:20.540 to the witch

00:18:20.900 of Endor,

00:18:22.520 Saul has outlawed

00:18:23.760 necromancy,

00:18:24.700 all the stuff

00:18:25.100 that we're talking

00:18:25.540 about right now.

00:18:26.080 Right.

00:18:26.540 And he goes

00:18:26.980 to the witch

00:18:27.320 of Endor

00:18:27.760 and he says,

00:18:29.240 call me a,

00:18:30.300 summon up a ghost.

00:18:31.640 And she says,

00:18:32.540 no,

00:18:32.720 I can't do that.

00:18:33.320 Saul,

00:18:33.760 you know,

00:18:34.040 outlawed it in the land.

00:18:35.040 And he goes,

00:18:35.440 don't worry about Saul.

00:18:36.960 Him being Saul.

00:18:38.280 And so she does.

00:18:39.820 And it's a,

00:18:40.240 it's a really curious moment

00:18:42.140 because she says,

00:18:43.240 oh my gosh,

00:18:43.720 you've deceived me

00:18:44.520 because she calls up

00:18:45.300 the ghost of Samuel.

00:18:46.900 And it's a very

00:18:49.100 interesting moment

00:18:49.680 because it seems

00:18:50.720 as though the witch

00:18:51.340 of Endor

00:18:51.720 is actually sort of

00:18:52.540 surprised by what

00:18:53.880 she's done.

00:18:54.260 So it raises the question,

00:18:55.300 was she sort of

00:18:55.780 just a fraud,

00:18:56.760 like a dime store

00:18:58.160 boardwalk psychic,

00:18:59.420 you know,

00:18:59.860 who is just selling

00:19:00.860 nonsense to people.

00:19:01.840 And then all of a sudden

00:19:02.600 she conjures a ghost.

00:19:04.140 But regardless,

00:19:04.860 she does conjure Samuel

00:19:06.160 and then Saul

00:19:07.020 talks to Samuel.

00:19:08.160 So we have at least

00:19:09.040 one example of a ghost.

00:19:10.640 So I don't know,

00:19:11.100 a lot of times

00:19:11.520 when people say

00:19:13.240 they've seen a ghost,

00:19:13.900 which has happened

00:19:14.480 many, many times.

00:19:15.080 I wonder if they...

00:19:15.980 Yeah, it happened to me too

00:19:16.560 when I was little.

00:19:17.400 It did.

00:19:17.880 So I wonder if they're

00:19:19.100 hallucinating,

00:19:19.840 if it's a demon,

00:19:21.100 but I'm not totally sure

00:19:21.960 there aren't ghosts too.

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00:20:00.660 Yeah, it's not a hill

00:20:02.420 I'll die on,

00:20:03.540 but...

00:20:05.020 Because then you might

00:20:05.520 become a ghost.

00:20:06.720 Fair.

00:20:08.040 I just,

00:20:09.840 with the alien thing

00:20:11.180 specifically,

00:20:11.940 I think that's the demonic

00:20:13.060 kind of realm

00:20:15.060 that we shouldn't really

00:20:16.400 have any business

00:20:17.080 playing with.

00:20:18.620 And, I mean,

00:20:19.540 the Bible says

00:20:20.500 the verse that sticks out

00:20:22.460 to me most

00:20:23.780 coming out of New Age

00:20:24.640 is that Satan himself

00:20:26.200 disguises as an angel

00:20:27.200 of light.

00:20:28.340 And that was always

00:20:29.540 what I thought

00:20:30.420 was coming to me.

00:20:31.120 That was my spirit guides.

00:20:32.440 That was my star family.

00:20:33.760 That was my grandmother.

00:20:35.060 You know,

00:20:35.200 it's actually interesting

00:20:35.960 because I had something

00:20:38.460 attached to me

00:20:39.300 for the past,

00:20:41.180 since she died in 2014,

00:20:42.740 because I would call on it.

00:20:44.000 I would say,

00:20:44.420 please come,

00:20:44.960 please come,

00:20:45.440 please come.

00:20:46.280 Like, hug me.

00:20:47.320 Like, I would let,

00:20:48.020 like, I would feel hugs.

00:20:49.180 I would feel,

00:20:49.880 I would feel something near me.

00:20:52.460 And after my conversion,

00:20:57.740 if you will,

00:20:58.480 I felt it,

00:21:00.100 I was in the kitchen

00:21:00.640 by myself

00:21:01.060 and I felt it come up

00:21:01.940 next to me

00:21:02.520 and I said out loud,

00:21:04.100 I said,

00:21:04.500 God,

00:21:04.960 whatever this is

00:21:05.600 that's been posing

00:21:06.180 as grandma

00:21:06.600 for the past seven years,

00:21:08.140 in Jesus' name,

00:21:09.060 get it away from me

00:21:10.000 and never let it come back.

00:21:11.340 And it hasn't been back since.

00:21:13.780 So.

00:21:14.880 You said you saw

00:21:16.140 something like a ghost

00:21:17.080 when you were a kid.

00:21:17.820 When I was a kid.

00:21:18.260 Was that the thing that you?

00:21:19.780 No, I saw when I was a kid

00:21:21.060 what I thought

00:21:22.220 was my great grandpa.

00:21:24.260 So.

00:21:24.420 It was very,

00:21:26.580 very young at the time.

00:21:28.560 And then I kind of,

00:21:29.920 that really spooked me.

00:21:31.680 Yeah.

00:21:31.860 So.

00:21:32.440 It would.

00:21:33.060 I kind of like

00:21:33.460 blocked that out.

00:21:34.260 But I always grew up

00:21:36.140 with this interest

00:21:37.400 in the paranormal.

00:21:38.780 So,

00:21:39.380 there's something there too.

00:21:40.800 I always sought out

00:21:41.780 scary movies

00:21:42.400 for some reason.

00:21:43.200 Now I kind of want

00:21:43.740 no parts of them.

00:21:44.460 Like,

00:21:44.600 why would I

00:21:45.160 entertain it even?

00:21:46.780 Yeah.

00:21:47.240 But I always sought out

00:21:48.080 scary movies

00:21:48.760 and like was so big

00:21:49.780 on haunted houses

00:21:50.380 like wanting those thrills.

00:21:51.580 And when I reflect on that

00:21:53.180 I wonder what that was.

00:21:54.540 Like,

00:21:54.740 why was I so interested

00:21:56.060 in terrifying myself

00:21:59.000 essentially.

00:22:01.880 Or being interested

00:22:02.960 in demons.

00:22:04.220 But anyway,

00:22:06.120 the starseed thing

00:22:06.840 led me to space

00:22:07.520 which led me to astrology

00:22:08.400 which was really

00:22:09.200 my niche.

00:22:11.240 I fell in love

00:22:13.160 with astrology

00:22:13.680 because it

00:22:14.900 kind of explained

00:22:16.920 why I was

00:22:18.100 the way I was.

00:22:19.240 That alongside

00:22:20.080 the starseed explanation.

00:22:21.580 because it was,

00:22:23.640 you know,

00:22:24.100 oh,

00:22:24.480 I am such a sap

00:22:25.700 because I was,

00:22:26.700 when I was born

00:22:27.640 the planet Venus

00:22:29.200 was in the constellation

00:22:30.100 Cancer.

00:22:31.340 That explained.

00:22:32.160 Okay,

00:22:32.540 great.

00:22:32.820 Like,

00:22:33.000 I started to have answers

00:22:34.400 for why I am

00:22:36.040 the way I am.

00:22:36.560 Why am I so sad?

00:22:37.900 Why am I more prone

00:22:39.660 to these patterns?

00:22:41.100 Why do my relationships

00:22:42.100 play out in this way?

00:22:43.980 Things like that.

00:22:45.160 Astrology was starting

00:22:46.100 to give me the answers

00:22:47.120 and just,

00:22:47.740 just going in

00:22:48.920 and in

00:22:49.240 and like just deeper

00:22:50.140 into myself

00:22:50.900 which was deeper

00:22:51.940 into the occult

00:22:52.700 essentially

00:22:53.100 because I just

00:22:53.820 couldn't get enough

00:22:55.100 of what astrology

00:22:56.400 had to offer me.

00:22:59.300 So correlating that

00:23:00.740 with my starseed thing,

00:23:02.860 I would tell people

00:23:03.660 on Moon and Back podcast,

00:23:05.160 I would tell the audience

00:23:06.020 that we all

00:23:08.380 chose to be here.

00:23:10.220 It's the karmic journey

00:23:11.340 of course.

00:23:12.360 We all chose to be here

00:23:13.700 to help the collective

00:23:15.040 ascend,

00:23:15.800 to help Earth

00:23:16.840 rise into 5D consciousness

00:23:19.040 and out of this

00:23:19.780 stagnant 3D

00:23:21.020 and so

00:23:22.800 we thus

00:23:25.060 chose our birth chart.

00:23:27.080 We knew that

00:23:28.120 these planets

00:23:28.900 would influence

00:23:29.480 our lives

00:23:30.100 and we chose that

00:23:31.000 because we wanted

00:23:31.540 to learn specific lessons

00:23:32.820 and we wanted

00:23:34.320 to be able

00:23:35.180 to teach specific things

00:23:36.500 and help

00:23:37.260 other people

00:23:38.540 in certain areas

00:23:39.740 and foster

00:23:40.640 these sorts

00:23:41.260 of relationships

00:23:42.000 whether it be

00:23:42.720 with money

00:23:43.200 or with people

00:23:44.080 or with anything.

00:23:46.560 So it gave me

00:23:49.160 again that savior complex.

00:23:50.720 That's what I always say.

00:23:51.680 It's just...

00:23:52.540 So you chose it

00:23:53.820 but you don't remember

00:23:54.920 choosing it

00:23:55.660 and apparently

00:23:56.380 you chose

00:23:56.840 a kind of crappy

00:23:57.540 alignment of everything.

00:23:58.940 Yeah.

00:23:59.980 So it just made me

00:24:00.680 feel better

00:24:01.060 about my suffering

00:24:01.740 essentially.

00:24:02.320 It was like,

00:24:03.120 like I said,

00:24:03.720 it was a band-aid

00:24:04.540 on a gunshot wound.

00:24:05.340 I was miserable

00:24:06.440 but at least I,

00:24:08.400 oh okay,

00:24:09.120 it makes sense

00:24:09.700 why I'm miserable.

00:24:10.340 I'm supposed to be.

00:24:11.380 I'm working through it.

00:24:12.820 It's the process

00:24:14.200 and you know

00:24:14.680 it's like that interesting,

00:24:15.920 again,

00:24:16.200 it doesn't make sense

00:24:16.800 it's self-refuting

00:24:17.480 because it was always

00:24:18.500 what's taught

00:24:19.920 with these practices

00:24:20.780 is that everything

00:24:22.760 is a process

00:24:23.540 all the time

00:24:24.560 but also

00:24:25.840 you're going to

00:24:27.380 achieve enlightenment

00:24:28.360 eventually.

00:24:29.320 So which is it?

00:24:30.920 Next week.

00:24:31.900 It's going to be

00:24:32.300 just the day after tomorrow.

00:24:33.600 That's when you're

00:24:34.120 going to achieve it.

00:24:34.360 And it's just

00:24:35.320 when I look back

00:24:36.360 it's crazy how

00:24:37.420 I've just never

00:24:39.260 grasped any of this

00:24:40.460 in a logical,

00:24:42.340 rational,

00:24:42.820 mindset.

00:24:44.140 And it's ironic

00:24:44.880 because now

00:24:45.600 people think I'm crazy.

00:24:47.020 I was going around

00:24:47.920 saying I'm an alien

00:24:48.780 and that was fine.

00:24:50.840 But now

00:24:51.720 I love Jesus

00:24:52.740 and I've lost it.

00:24:54.180 You're totally nuts.

00:24:54.700 I'm a clown.

00:24:55.820 Were you at the time

00:24:57.200 into any of the

00:24:58.620 new age guru types?

00:25:01.340 I don't know anything

00:25:02.140 about these people

00:25:02.840 but I'm thinking of

00:25:04.100 Deepak Chopra.

00:25:05.180 Yeah, I was.

00:25:06.040 You were.

00:25:06.480 I was.

00:25:07.000 Who were you into?

00:25:07.960 I was into Deepak Chopra.

00:25:09.520 I was into Luis Hay.

00:25:10.660 There's a teacher

00:25:13.680 on YouTube

00:25:14.180 Yoga with Adrian

00:25:15.360 and no disrespect

00:25:16.360 to her

00:25:16.880 but she was

00:25:18.080 my yoga guru.

00:25:20.760 Eckhart Tolle

00:25:21.720 who wrote

00:25:22.800 The Power of Now

00:25:23.800 and actually

00:25:24.760 A New Earth.

00:25:27.880 A lot.

00:25:29.400 I had a lot

00:25:30.480 of names

00:25:31.400 on my shelves

00:25:32.100 for sure.

00:25:33.980 The Four Agreements

00:25:35.040 is one of the books.

00:25:36.960 Who's that by?

00:25:37.860 I can't remember

00:25:38.640 the name of the author.

00:25:40.580 There's another

00:25:41.060 interesting book

00:25:41.780 called Conversations

00:25:43.120 with God

00:25:43.720 by Donald Walsh

00:25:45.880 and

00:25:46.840 or Wells

00:25:48.300 something along

00:25:49.180 those lines.

00:25:49.640 Donald something.

00:25:50.780 He wrote this book

00:25:52.960 that he claimed

00:25:53.820 he was channeling God

00:25:55.860 and God was talking

00:25:56.980 through him

00:25:57.420 and essentially

00:25:57.920 the entire book

00:25:58.680 is like refuting

00:25:59.320 the Bible.

00:26:00.500 Yeah.

00:26:00.740 And it's funny

00:26:01.200 because it's like

00:26:01.800 this,

00:26:02.200 it's Bible thickness.

00:26:03.740 And God just

00:26:05.580 through this man

00:26:07.060 said actually

00:26:08.180 everything else

00:26:09.260 was wrong.

00:26:10.060 He said this was wrong

00:26:11.020 this is how it is now.

00:26:12.120 Yeah.

00:26:13.440 Wow.

00:26:14.040 And I liked it

00:26:14.760 because it was all about

00:26:15.880 honoring your truth

00:26:17.080 which is

00:26:17.860 the biggest thing

00:26:20.040 with New Ageism

00:26:21.360 is

00:26:22.900 honoring the self.

00:26:25.760 And you know

00:26:26.080 this has

00:26:26.960 I realized

00:26:27.780 that New Ageism

00:26:28.940 is everywhere.

00:26:30.020 It's in politics.

00:26:31.460 Yeah.

00:26:31.680 Well there was

00:26:33.240 that New Age lady

00:26:35.400 that explicitly

00:26:36.100 New Age lady

00:26:37.040 Marianne Williamson

00:26:38.800 ran for president

00:26:40.000 in 2016.

00:26:41.060 She was

00:26:41.700 she was talking

00:26:42.540 about astral forces

00:26:44.280 and all this kind

00:26:45.300 of really

00:26:45.980 specifically

00:26:47.540 New Age lingo

00:26:48.500 on presidential

00:26:49.440 debate stages.

00:26:50.400 Yeah.

00:26:51.040 That's insane.

00:26:52.280 I think Nancy Pelosi

00:26:53.040 said something recently

00:26:53.960 about Mother Earth

00:26:54.800 and how powerful

00:26:55.780 she is.

00:26:56.500 Yeah.

00:26:57.760 Nancy who

00:26:58.500 who pretends

00:26:59.320 to be a practicing

00:27:00.380 Catholic

00:27:00.800 though she doesn't

00:27:02.180 accept church teaching

00:27:03.800 on non-negotiable

00:27:05.460 central issues

00:27:06.860 which she pretends

00:27:07.460 to be at least.

00:27:08.240 Right.

00:27:08.620 And I was thinking

00:27:09.160 in the context

00:27:09.800 of even abortions

00:27:11.100 because people

00:27:11.720 it's all my body

00:27:12.940 my choice

00:27:13.640 it's my truth

00:27:14.460 it's mine.

00:27:15.580 There is no right

00:27:16.380 or wrong

00:27:16.800 because I am

00:27:18.040 the author

00:27:18.600 of what's right

00:27:19.260 or wrong

00:27:19.660 in my life

00:27:20.360 and in my body

00:27:20.940 and that is

00:27:21.400 everything

00:27:22.020 that New Ageism

00:27:22.640 is about.

00:27:23.220 And transgenderism

00:27:24.020 too right?

00:27:24.500 Yes.

00:27:24.580 My true self

00:27:25.440 has nothing to do

00:27:26.300 with objective reality

00:27:27.900 it's just whatever

00:27:28.640 I say it is.

00:27:29.740 And I've seen

00:27:30.580 how kind of

00:27:32.860 the culture's

00:27:34.640 obsession

00:27:35.360 culture by the way

00:27:37.580 the culture's obsession

00:27:39.200 with honestly

00:27:41.420 just kind of

00:27:43.300 dismantling God's order

00:27:44.480 like why is that?

00:27:48.120 Like there's got to be

00:27:48.780 a reason for that

00:27:49.340 and Hollywood's obsession

00:27:50.220 with the devil

00:27:50.820 and how Jesus Christ

00:27:52.240 is the only name

00:27:53.060 we blaspheme.

00:27:53.860 People never scream out

00:27:54.700 Buddha when they're upset

00:27:55.860 you know what I mean?

00:27:56.740 Like oh Buddha

00:27:57.660 like it's never that

00:27:58.740 Buddha damn it

00:27:59.560 no one says that

00:28:01.500 and no one gets

00:28:03.480 triggered when you say

00:28:05.080 anything about Muhammad

00:28:06.420 but the name

00:28:07.940 Jesus Christ

00:28:08.920 people flinch

00:28:10.360 it's almost like

00:28:11.560 there's something to it

00:28:12.600 you know what I mean?

00:28:13.500 There is a group

00:28:14.620 of people that gets

00:28:15.240 a little triggered

00:28:15.760 when you say

00:28:16.700 negative things

00:28:17.220 about Muhammad

00:28:17.720 but broadly

00:28:18.540 in a broad context

00:28:20.200 it's you know

00:28:21.260 there's one above

00:28:22.980 them all

00:28:23.380 that is most

00:28:24.280 mocked

00:28:26.300 you saw Kendrick Lamar

00:28:28.500 recently

00:28:29.000 with the

00:28:29.760 I don't think

00:28:31.180 I've ever seen

00:28:31.740 Kendrick Lamar

00:28:32.320 I saw something

00:28:33.100 on Instagram

00:28:33.620 where in one of his

00:28:34.600 music videos

00:28:35.060 he's like walking

00:28:35.620 on water

00:28:36.260 he's like on a cross

00:28:37.840 he has a

00:28:38.780 crown of thorns

00:28:40.240 wow

00:28:40.660 or Little Nas X

00:28:42.280 he did the whole video

00:28:43.780 where he's

00:28:44.460 basically having sex

00:28:46.200 with the devil

00:28:46.660 and everyone said

00:28:47.880 people are being

00:28:48.360 extreme for that

00:28:49.140 but look

00:28:49.900 it's not extreme

00:28:50.640 because this stuff

00:28:51.420 gets into mines

00:28:52.760 and it's just

00:28:53.660 a slow drip

00:28:54.580 well there was a guy

00:28:56.160 he's the deputy

00:28:57.120 monkeypox coordinator

00:28:58.460 at the White House now

00:28:59.340 and he's taken photos

00:29:01.040 of himself

00:29:01.480 wearing leather

00:29:03.480 pentagrams on his chest

00:29:05.080 and apparently

00:29:05.880 seems to have a

00:29:06.520 pentagram tattoo

00:29:07.440 on one of his pecs

00:29:08.400 and you have to wonder

00:29:09.840 you say okay

00:29:10.700 if I'm the crazy one

00:29:12.260 because I'm noticing this

00:29:14.160 because I'm observing

00:29:15.340 these really weird

00:29:16.360 specific satanic symbols

00:29:17.820 that guy's got to be

00:29:19.800 way crazier

00:29:20.380 for putting it

00:29:20.900 on his body

00:29:21.480 right

00:29:21.780 how come

00:29:22.140 how come I'm

00:29:22.960 the crazy one

00:29:23.440 for noticing

00:29:23.900 he's not the crazy

00:29:24.600 one for doing it

00:29:25.180 right

00:29:25.460 right

00:29:26.300 it also makes me

00:29:26.880 feel better

00:29:27.300 that even though

00:29:27.760 I thought I was

00:29:28.140 an alien

00:29:28.540 I was never

00:29:29.280 the deputy

00:29:30.240 of monkeypox

00:29:31.380 you never want to

00:29:34.040 you don't want to

00:29:34.800 be coordinating

00:29:35.340 monkeypox

00:29:36.020 yeah

00:29:38.520 it's just everywhere

00:29:40.380 and I think

00:29:41.040 it's really important

00:29:41.660 to talk about

00:29:42.140 for that reason

00:29:42.720 and a lot of people

00:29:43.440 think I'm extreme

00:29:44.000 I lost

00:29:44.600 I lost a lot of friends

00:29:45.840 when this happened

00:29:46.560 because ultimately

00:29:48.420 the common denominator

00:29:49.580 of our relationship

00:29:50.360 was sin

00:29:50.900 all practicing divination

00:29:52.460 constantly together

00:29:53.580 whether it be a moon circle

00:29:55.200 or reiki

00:29:56.140 or tarot cards

00:29:57.680 what's a moon circle

00:29:58.680 so

00:30:00.120 my obsession

00:30:01.660 with astrology

00:30:02.320 was really centered

00:30:03.740 around my fascination

00:30:04.920 with the moon

00:30:05.520 a lot of the time

00:30:06.620 I just

00:30:07.060 I said on my old podcast

00:30:09.120 I was enamored

00:30:09.740 with the moon

00:30:10.260 because the new moon

00:30:13.860 was always supposed

00:30:14.540 to represent

00:30:15.080 like new beginnings

00:30:16.060 and setting intentions

00:30:17.400 and then the full moon

00:30:18.420 was always

00:30:19.080 what I would say

00:30:19.840 on my podcast

00:30:20.680 the time when the moon

00:30:22.420 is in its full illumination

00:30:24.260 so it's kind of

00:30:24.900 shining a light

00:30:25.560 on everything

00:30:26.200 that's blocking us

00:30:27.440 from our intentions

00:30:29.140 that we set

00:30:29.680 at the previous cycle

00:30:30.720 and so now

00:30:32.120 with the full moon

00:30:32.740 we can release that

00:30:33.740 and so the moon

00:30:34.980 always falls in

00:30:36.260 it might be a new moon

00:30:37.640 in Aries

00:30:38.160 and so Aries

00:30:38.980 is supposed to be

00:30:39.680 like the sign

00:30:40.280 of beginnings

00:30:41.340 and initiation

00:30:41.900 so if it's a new moon

00:30:42.900 in Aries

00:30:43.260 that's a really good time

00:30:44.120 to start a new

00:30:44.720 business venture

00:30:45.340 so it just always

00:30:46.140 it gave like a criteria

00:30:47.660 for my life

00:30:48.400 sort of patterns

00:30:49.540 to follow

00:30:50.180 again

00:30:51.700 kind of instilling

00:30:52.620 purpose in me

00:30:53.360 because I felt like

00:30:54.220 I didn't have any

00:30:55.080 and just a scheme

00:30:56.000 okay I do this

00:30:57.240 this month

00:30:57.760 and I do this

00:30:58.440 exactly

00:30:58.940 this escapism

00:31:00.060 so the moon circles

00:31:02.500 we would gather

00:31:03.340 me and a group

00:31:04.300 of girlfriends

00:31:04.720 we would gather

00:31:05.640 every new moon

00:31:06.340 and every full moon

00:31:06.980 and we would do

00:31:07.360 just that

00:31:07.720 set intentions

00:31:08.320 are a release

00:31:08.900 and

00:31:09.480 this sounds to me

00:31:10.960 like

00:31:12.020 witchcraft

00:31:14.000 like a coven

00:31:14.560 is that what that is

00:31:15.960 essentially

00:31:16.340 we would never

00:31:17.600 call it that

00:31:18.220 because it's really

00:31:18.880 interesting how

00:31:19.680 even in

00:31:21.460 the realm

00:31:22.380 of new ageism

00:31:23.200 you understand

00:31:24.580 that there's

00:31:25.220 negative energy

00:31:26.460 and negative

00:31:26.980 and demonic influence

00:31:28.380 like

00:31:28.700 you know

00:31:30.520 why is it

00:31:31.400 that every time

00:31:32.060 we had to do

00:31:32.560 we did Reiki

00:31:33.100 or every time

00:31:33.460 we did a moon circle

00:31:34.300 every time

00:31:35.160 I practiced

00:31:35.660 with my crystals

00:31:36.140 or my tarot

00:31:36.760 every time

00:31:37.080 I did yoga

00:31:37.480 why is it

00:31:38.160 you always have

00:31:38.520 to pray for protection

00:31:39.260 why is it

00:31:40.560 you always have

00:31:40.920 to call in

00:31:41.340 an angel team

00:31:41.940 why is it

00:31:42.380 you always have

00:31:42.760 to set up

00:31:43.360 pillars of light

00:31:45.180 around the room

00:31:46.080 like

00:31:46.620 why do you have

00:31:47.820 to prepare yourself

00:31:48.400 for the worst

00:31:48.920 with all these practices

00:31:49.780 it's kind of like

00:31:50.440 the same thing

00:31:50.880 with psychedelics

00:31:51.660 because that's

00:31:52.660 mind altercation

00:31:54.660 right

00:31:55.500 kind of the same

00:31:56.400 thing

00:31:56.820 and you kind of

00:31:57.760 have to set

00:31:58.300 your intentions

00:31:58.740 with that too

00:31:59.420 it's all these

00:32:00.420 things

00:32:01.060 that you have

00:32:02.300 to be really

00:32:02.980 really particular

00:32:04.040 with

00:32:04.560 you have to

00:32:04.860 follow all these

00:32:05.460 steps

00:32:05.720 or you could

00:32:06.020 do it wrong

00:32:06.500 like sage

00:32:07.540 the room

00:32:08.180 because you know

00:32:09.520 demons are scared

00:32:10.720 of smudge

00:32:11.600 definitely

00:32:12.420 and

00:32:14.320 for people now

00:32:16.080 who are going

00:32:16.380 to call you crazy

00:32:17.080 for criticizing

00:32:17.980 all this stuff

00:32:18.440 people call me crazy

00:32:19.540 for saying

00:32:20.020 you know

00:32:20.240 actually people

00:32:20.820 do practice

00:32:21.260 witchcraft

00:32:21.740 and they say

00:32:22.320 Michael you're crazy

00:32:23.020 what an insane

00:32:23.560 thing to say

00:32:24.060 you did it

00:32:26.840 like you did it

00:32:27.940 you saw it

00:32:29.000 you participated

00:32:29.740 in it

00:32:30.160 so again

00:32:31.300 it's one of these

00:32:31.900 where I go back to

00:32:32.620 why am I crazy

00:32:34.160 for noticing it

00:32:35.280 but they're not

00:32:37.160 crazy for doing it

00:32:38.960 they're actually

00:32:39.560 doing it

00:32:40.400 well the bible

00:32:41.160 has the answer

00:32:41.680 to that

00:32:42.080 because Satan

00:32:43.460 blinds the minds

00:32:44.340 of unbelievers

00:32:45.240 and because Satan

00:32:46.480 is the prince

00:32:46.960 of this world

00:32:47.540 right

00:32:48.960 and so

00:32:49.720 you know

00:32:51.560 that's something

00:32:52.000 else that kind

00:32:52.460 of started

00:32:52.760 to wake me up

00:32:53.500 to

00:32:53.900 the idea

00:32:56.400 that there is

00:32:57.680 theistic God

00:33:00.000 specifically

00:33:00.420 the Christian God

00:33:01.420 because in

00:33:03.400 2020

00:33:03.920 when

00:33:04.580 everything

00:33:05.920 went down

00:33:06.640 I was also

00:33:08.240 I was a seething

00:33:09.300 liberal at the time

00:33:10.060 as well

00:33:10.440 so I mean

00:33:11.200 it's all

00:33:12.960 connected

00:33:13.400 it really is

00:33:14.200 because you go

00:33:15.220 to an abortion

00:33:16.240 rally

00:33:16.480 I guarantee

00:33:17.060 that girl

00:33:17.880 who's naked

00:33:18.780 giving the middle

00:33:19.340 finger that says

00:33:20.180 F you my body

00:33:21.320 my choice

00:33:21.720 I guarantee

00:33:22.860 you go in her

00:33:23.400 bedroom

00:33:23.660 there's a mandala

00:33:24.400 on her wall

00:33:24.940 like just

00:33:25.840 what is that

00:33:27.280 by the way

00:33:27.640 it's just

00:33:28.280 like

00:33:28.500 you've seen

00:33:31.820 them

00:33:32.040 they're tapestries

00:33:32.880 with like

00:33:33.300 the circles

00:33:33.920 with all the

00:33:34.380 flowers

00:33:34.700 and it's weird

00:33:36.720 but I never

00:33:38.640 knew what it

00:33:38.980 was called

00:33:39.600 they're just

00:33:40.100 like sacred

00:33:40.540 geometry

00:33:41.000 kind of

00:33:41.600 so it's funny

00:33:42.840 though

00:33:42.960 when you said

00:33:43.480 it

00:33:43.580 just from

00:33:43.900 the sound

00:33:44.220 of it

00:33:44.380 I thought

00:33:44.620 yeah

00:33:44.860 okay

00:33:45.120 I kind

00:33:45.860 of get

00:33:46.100 the idea

00:33:46.560 and I'm

00:33:47.060 sure she

00:33:47.360 does

00:33:47.520 because

00:33:48.040 people

00:33:50.200 try to be

00:33:51.240 conciliatory

00:33:51.940 and nice

00:33:52.440 and say

00:33:52.700 listen

00:33:52.960 you know

00:33:53.340 a person's

00:33:54.200 religion

00:33:54.480 has nothing

00:33:54.940 to do

00:33:55.180 with their

00:33:55.400 politics

00:33:55.760 and you

00:33:56.300 can be

00:33:56.640 you can

00:33:57.340 be a total

00:33:57.880 demon

00:33:58.740 worshipping

00:33:59.300 pagan

00:33:59.740 you know

00:34:00.340 conservative

00:34:00.740 and you

00:34:01.240 can be

00:34:01.620 orthodox

00:34:02.880 Christian

00:34:03.560 liberal

00:34:04.940 but in

00:34:06.200 practice

00:34:06.640 I've just

00:34:08.260 that just

00:34:09.260 doesn't happen

00:34:10.000 yeah

00:34:10.360 right

00:34:11.100 yeah

00:34:11.540 and that's

00:34:13.100 that's what I

00:34:13.560 mean because

00:34:13.980 in 2020

00:34:14.760 when everything

00:34:15.140 went down

00:34:15.520 I was

00:34:16.020 obviously

00:34:16.620 I had nothing

00:34:16.920 but time

00:34:17.300 on my hands

00:34:17.720 when I was

00:34:17.980 in quarantine

00:34:18.440 and that

00:34:19.560 I hit

00:34:20.140 I hit

00:34:21.520 rock bottom

00:34:22.580 another

00:34:23.920 flirtation

00:34:25.080 with suicide

00:34:25.580 in that

00:34:26.060 time

00:34:26.420 but

00:34:27.680 something

00:34:29.300 that I

00:34:29.600 did with

00:34:29.920 that time

00:34:30.340 was I

00:34:30.620 started

00:34:30.960 for the

00:34:31.300 first time

00:34:31.840 in my

00:34:32.080 life

00:34:32.360 begin to

00:34:32.740 research

00:34:33.060 things

00:34:33.520 and like

00:34:34.220 this is

00:34:34.560 when the

00:34:34.820 George Floyd

00:34:35.220 thing happened

00:34:35.680 too so

00:34:36.260 that kind

00:34:37.060 of sparked

00:34:37.460 something in

00:34:37.880 me where

00:34:38.300 I was

00:34:38.620 recognizing

00:34:39.060 inconsistencies

00:34:40.000 following a lot

00:34:41.540 of Candace

00:34:41.920 Owens at the

00:34:42.360 time and

00:34:43.320 it's actually

00:34:44.620 when I

00:34:45.480 learned about

00:34:46.220 the Daily

00:34:46.560 Wire around

00:34:47.420 that time

00:34:47.940 and so I

00:34:49.000 got curious

00:34:50.100 about things

00:34:50.780 and why

00:34:51.800 the world

00:34:52.140 is the

00:34:52.400 way it

00:34:52.680 is

00:34:53.080 and what's

00:34:54.120 going on

00:34:54.500 in the

00:34:54.700 government

00:34:54.980 what's

00:34:55.320 going on

00:34:55.640 in Hollywood

00:34:56.320 oh maybe

00:34:57.700 Trump isn't

00:34:58.820 crazy mean

00:35:00.700 orange man

00:35:01.380 after all

00:35:01.960 you know

00:35:02.300 and I

00:35:04.700 got really

00:35:05.280 hungry for

00:35:05.720 the truth

00:35:06.300 and so I

00:35:07.420 started to

00:35:08.220 be more

00:35:08.600 vocal about

00:35:09.160 that online

00:35:09.660 like exposing

00:35:10.780 things as

00:35:12.600 I saw them

00:35:13.080 come up

00:35:13.540 and sharing

00:35:14.140 really unpopular

00:35:15.880 narratives but

00:35:17.480 true narratives

00:35:18.440 and that

00:35:19.640 thirst for

00:35:20.620 truth

00:35:21.140 you know

00:35:21.600 I've always

00:35:22.220 been someone

00:35:23.100 who asks

00:35:23.500 questions

00:35:24.040 I've always

00:35:24.580 been someone

00:35:25.200 who wants

00:35:25.900 to know

00:35:26.280 more

00:35:26.680 it's what

00:35:28.220 led me to

00:35:28.620 self-help

00:35:29.040 I wanted

00:35:29.580 to get

00:35:30.180 better

00:35:30.560 it's what

00:35:31.240 led me to

00:35:31.640 new ageism

00:35:32.140 I wanted

00:35:32.460 answers

00:35:32.980 I wanted

00:35:33.920 healing

00:35:34.460 and when

00:35:37.280 my politics

00:35:37.920 began to

00:35:38.460 shift

00:35:38.740 my spirituality

00:35:39.420 did kind

00:35:40.180 of shift

00:35:40.600 as well

00:35:41.820 where I

00:35:42.520 understood

00:35:43.100 you know

00:35:43.800 everyone's

00:35:44.700 obsessed with

00:35:45.120 Satan for

00:35:45.420 some reason

00:35:45.800 like what's

00:35:46.800 that about

00:35:47.320 if Satan

00:35:48.300 is their

00:35:48.820 obsession

00:35:49.200 there's got

00:35:49.600 to be a

00:35:49.900 reason

00:35:50.140 because there's

00:35:50.780 a counter

00:35:51.180 to that

00:35:51.700 it's actually

00:35:52.720 God

00:35:53.180 and so

00:35:54.300 there's

00:35:55.260 something there

00:35:55.780 and this is

00:35:56.580 when I began

00:35:57.020 to understand

00:35:57.680 that there's

00:35:59.560 a spiritual

00:36:01.180 warfare

00:36:01.740 so understanding

00:36:03.520 biblical concepts

00:36:04.340 but still

00:36:05.520 with the

00:36:06.000 backdrop

00:36:06.420 of Hinduism

00:36:07.780 where I

00:36:08.340 thought it

00:36:08.560 was just

00:36:08.800 duality

00:36:09.340 it's just

00:36:09.740 the state

00:36:10.160 of the

00:36:10.380 universe

00:36:10.680 is good

00:36:11.040 and evil

00:36:11.460 and it's

00:36:12.560 kind of

00:36:12.760 like a

00:36:13.000 battleground

00:36:13.480 for who's

00:36:14.180 going to

00:36:14.380 win

00:36:14.660 you know

00:36:15.200 is it

00:36:15.900 going to

00:36:16.120 be this

00:36:17.200 5D

00:36:18.720 ascension

00:36:19.120 that I

00:36:19.400 talked about

00:36:19.780 earlier

00:36:20.060 or is it

00:36:20.560 going to

00:36:20.740 be like

00:36:21.060 we just

00:36:21.500 get worse

00:36:22.440 and worse

00:36:22.720 and worse

00:36:23.040 because the

00:36:23.820 evil energy

00:36:25.420 and that's

00:36:25.740 the word

00:36:25.940 I would use

00:36:26.260 the evil

00:36:26.680 energy

00:36:27.000 was winning

00:36:27.480 whereas the

00:36:28.000 good energy

00:36:28.500 was losing

00:36:29.240 because I

00:36:31.280 didn't subscribe

00:36:31.960 to what the

00:36:32.580 Bible says

00:36:33.220 you know

00:36:33.760 at the time

00:36:34.320 so I

00:36:36.340 at least

00:36:36.720 began to

00:36:37.440 understand

00:36:38.060 things a

00:36:38.960 little differently

00:36:39.540 understand

00:36:40.180 that God

00:36:40.980 was there

00:36:41.640 and that

00:36:43.100 again

00:36:44.000 truth search

00:36:45.500 I tell people

00:36:46.600 a lot that

00:36:47.260 if you are

00:36:48.180 hungry for

00:36:48.740 the truth

00:36:49.160 you're going

00:36:50.000 to land

00:36:51.100 on Jesus

00:36:51.700 eventually

00:36:52.180 because he's

00:36:53.260 truth

00:36:53.780 you can

00:36:54.620 go down

00:36:55.940 all these

00:36:56.220 different paths

00:36:56.800 but you're

00:36:57.720 going to find

00:36:58.140 inconsistencies

00:36:58.840 everywhere else

00:36:59.640 and that's

00:37:00.240 all I did

00:37:00.700 for 10 years

00:37:01.440 I took the

00:37:03.020 long way too

00:37:03.640 I was an

00:37:04.240 atheist

00:37:04.420 for about

00:37:04.780 10 years

00:37:05.280 atheist

00:37:06.020 kind of

00:37:06.380 weakened

00:37:06.640 to a

00:37:07.200 sort of

00:37:07.460 agnostic

00:37:07.980 by the

00:37:08.380 end of

00:37:08.660 that

00:37:08.780 and so

00:37:09.580 I attest

00:37:10.160 to that

00:37:10.380 a lot

00:37:10.980 of parallels

00:37:11.540 actually

00:37:12.020 I mean

00:37:12.480 I never

00:37:12.840 was a part

00:37:13.560 of any

00:37:13.900 covens

00:37:14.900 worshipping

00:37:15.700 the moon

00:37:15.940 or anything

00:37:16.260 but I got

00:37:17.020 into some

00:37:17.340 pretty weird

00:37:17.720 stuff

00:37:18.100 and went

00:37:18.560 down weird

00:37:18.980 intellectual

00:37:19.520 paths

00:37:20.080 and I would

00:37:20.920 say basically

00:37:21.600 it was kind

00:37:22.280 of 13

00:37:22.700 to 23

00:37:23.200 that was my

00:37:23.980 real period

00:37:25.340 of apostasy

00:37:26.360 atheism

00:37:27.100 agnosticism

00:37:28.120 it

00:37:29.240 I remember

00:37:30.320 when my

00:37:31.000 you mentioned

00:37:31.340 your grandmother

00:37:31.820 dying

00:37:32.220 that was a big

00:37:32.860 moment when you

00:37:33.520 started to explore

00:37:34.320 these things

00:37:34.680 I remember

00:37:35.360 my mother died

00:37:36.120 I was 17 years

00:37:37.020 old

00:37:37.340 and I was so

00:37:38.720 I so wanted

00:37:41.320 to talk to her

00:37:42.180 that I googled it

00:37:43.660 I said how do you

00:37:44.340 talk to dead people

00:37:44.980 and I know

00:37:46.240 that you can't

00:37:47.240 talk to dead

00:37:47.680 people

00:37:48.000 or that's

00:37:48.560 what I thought

00:37:48.980 then

00:37:49.260 now I wonder

00:37:50.600 if you can

00:37:51.100 talk to dead

00:37:51.580 people

00:37:51.940 or at the

00:37:52.740 very least

00:37:53.160 you can talk

00:37:53.680 to demons

00:37:54.200 masquerading

00:37:54.840 as dead

00:37:55.160 people

00:37:55.340 as has been

00:37:56.080 attested to

00:37:56.600 throughout

00:37:56.840 all of human

00:37:57.560 history

00:37:57.860 but I started

00:37:59.180 googling it

00:37:59.980 and it's

00:38:00.700 very tempting

00:38:01.940 when you're

00:38:02.800 so vulnerable

00:38:03.860 and you're

00:38:04.360 so desperate

00:38:05.360 for something

00:38:06.040 you'll reach

00:38:07.420 at anything

00:38:07.920 you'll go

00:38:08.440 to any kind

00:38:08.900 of crazy

00:38:09.320 length

00:38:09.760 at all

00:38:10.720 and you know

00:38:11.780 on that

00:38:13.060 particular path

00:38:14.120 I never

00:38:14.720 didn't go

00:38:15.800 nearly as far

00:38:16.500 as you did

00:38:17.120 down it

00:38:17.540 I probably

00:38:18.700 just gave up

00:38:19.340 after not

00:38:19.760 being able

00:38:20.100 to you know

00:38:21.140 hear spiritual

00:38:22.800 you know

00:38:23.580 voices and

00:38:24.240 things like that

00:38:24.880 but you can

00:38:26.540 really get

00:38:27.080 into some

00:38:27.500 really weird

00:38:27.960 stuff

00:38:28.200 the fact

00:38:28.540 that you

00:38:28.780 mentioned

00:38:29.120 this obsession

00:38:29.940 with Satan

00:38:30.580 is so interesting

00:38:31.400 to me

00:38:31.840 because

00:38:32.520 sometimes

00:38:34.700 you'll

00:38:35.420 if I point

00:38:36.360 out

00:38:36.540 hey why

00:38:36.880 is that

00:38:37.200 government

00:38:37.680 official

00:38:38.020 wearing a

00:38:38.420 pentagram

00:38:38.820 oh Michael

00:38:40.160 that's no

00:38:40.520 big deal

00:38:40.860 it's just

00:38:41.120 a symbol

00:38:41.620 yeah

00:38:42.300 I think

00:38:42.760 well right

00:38:43.980 but symbol

00:38:44.620 the whole

00:38:44.960 point of

00:38:45.380 a symbol

00:38:45.880 is that

00:38:46.620 it symbolizes

00:38:47.500 something

00:38:48.380 right

00:38:48.680 and so

00:38:49.320 that's a

00:38:50.060 symbol

00:38:50.340 of the

00:38:50.680 devil

00:38:50.960 which

00:38:52.320 seems to

00:38:53.280 me to

00:38:53.580 imply

00:38:54.160 that

00:38:55.420 there is

00:38:56.860 such a

00:38:57.120 thing as

00:38:57.380 a devil

00:38:57.640 or at

00:38:58.360 the very

00:38:58.640 least

00:38:58.860 that this

00:38:59.200 guy thinks

00:38:59.640 there is

00:38:59.960 such a

00:39:00.220 thing as

00:39:00.460 the devil

00:39:00.780 and either

00:39:01.440 way it's

00:39:01.780 pretty weird

00:39:02.220 that he's

00:39:02.480 wearing that

00:39:02.940 symbol

00:39:03.240 isn't it

00:39:03.620 and people

00:39:05.000 are just

00:39:05.500 very quick

00:39:05.960 to write

00:39:07.380 it off

00:39:07.720 just like

00:39:08.500 now

00:39:08.780 you know

00:39:09.080 there's

00:39:09.400 it's

00:39:09.860 seeping

00:39:10.480 into

00:39:10.880 schools

00:39:11.880 and into

00:39:12.480 kids

00:39:13.360 curriculums

00:39:13.920 and even

00:39:14.220 into their

00:39:14.580 playtime

00:39:15.020 there's

00:39:15.260 like

00:39:15.460 yoga

00:39:15.860 barbies

00:39:16.260 and things

00:39:16.620 like that

00:39:17.140 and my

00:39:19.080 one friend

00:39:19.460 works at

00:39:19.820 Target

00:39:20.120 and she

00:39:20.520 was showing

00:39:21.100 me pictures

00:39:21.600 there's

00:39:22.220 it's like

00:39:22.660 my little

00:39:23.160 pony

00:39:23.620 witch

00:39:24.820 thing

00:39:25.580 like you

00:39:26.060 know

00:39:26.220 cast your

00:39:26.780 spells

00:39:27.140 it just

00:39:27.520 seems

00:39:27.840 it seems

00:39:28.740 so innocent

00:39:29.660 yeah

00:39:30.380 but it's

00:39:31.100 not

00:39:31.520 and that's

00:39:31.900 the point

00:39:32.300 and again

00:39:32.680 it's that

00:39:33.080 Satan

00:39:33.520 masquerades

00:39:34.080 as an

00:39:34.340 angel

00:39:34.580 of light

00:39:35.000 it's a

00:39:36.220 deception

00:39:36.560 so you're

00:39:37.720 all the way

00:39:38.180 into being

00:39:38.600 deceived

00:39:39.080 but we

00:39:40.720 still haven't

00:39:41.100 gotten to

00:39:41.340 the part

00:39:41.640 where you

00:39:41.980 get out

00:39:42.320 of it

00:39:42.640 right

00:39:43.120 that's how

00:39:43.760 you get

00:39:43.980 out of it

00:39:44.280 point

00:39:44.520 so

00:39:47.560 it's actually

00:39:49.240 really funny

00:39:49.720 it started to

00:39:50.320 happen around

00:39:50.720 this time

00:39:51.140 last year

00:39:51.720 around October

00:39:52.600 of 2021

00:39:53.260 late September

00:39:53.620 so this is

00:39:54.060 very recent

00:39:54.580 very recent

00:39:55.380 it's been a

00:39:56.360 really wild

00:39:57.060 year

00:39:57.240 I actually

00:39:58.760 saw you guys

00:39:59.660 at Backstage

00:40:00.220 Live

00:40:00.560 last year

00:40:01.720 at the Ryman

00:40:02.700 and I messaged

00:40:04.460 you something

00:40:04.960 about

00:40:05.700 you messaged me

00:40:06.240 yeah I messaged

00:40:07.080 you something

00:40:07.400 about how great

00:40:09.000 it was

00:40:09.320 and then I was

00:40:10.020 like oh it's

00:40:10.580 a shame that

00:40:10.960 Mercury Retrograde

00:40:11.760 made all the

00:40:12.200 equipment bust

00:40:13.020 because your

00:40:13.600 mics kept

00:40:14.000 going out

00:40:14.420 and I was

00:40:14.740 like oh it's

00:40:15.300 because Mercury

00:40:15.860 is in retrograde

00:40:16.800 anyway well to

00:40:18.280 regress a little

00:40:18.920 I was

00:40:19.840 like I mentioned

00:40:21.000 you know at

00:40:21.620 this point I'm

00:40:22.000 27

00:40:22.500 this time last

00:40:24.100 year I was

00:40:24.400 27 and

00:40:25.440 I'm just sad

00:40:27.880 I am so sad

00:40:29.020 still I'm doing

00:40:29.980 everything

00:40:30.720 still

00:40:31.940 it's just like

00:40:33.140 pattern after

00:40:33.900 pattern after

00:40:34.500 pattern just

00:40:35.160 things not

00:40:36.080 I'm just never

00:40:37.100 healing like I'm

00:40:37.800 getting these

00:40:38.220 little spurts of

00:40:39.620 it's getting better

00:40:40.700 but then crash

00:40:41.420 and burn worse

00:40:42.240 and it's just a

00:40:43.000 hamster wheel that

00:40:43.760 I'm on at

00:40:44.080 this point

00:40:44.440 not understanding

00:40:45.660 what even the

00:40:47.080 point is anymore

00:40:47.900 so I had this

00:40:48.980 total breakdown

00:40:49.600 moment in my

00:40:50.140 kitchen

00:40:50.480 crawled up on

00:40:51.460 the floor

00:40:51.860 like ready to

00:40:54.020 just say like

00:40:54.740 this is like

00:40:55.380 what what am I

00:40:56.460 going to do from

00:40:56.960 this point forward

00:40:57.460 like I don't I

00:40:58.580 don't feel like

00:40:58.960 this in another

00:40:59.420 10 years because

00:41:00.340 I'm like rationalizing

00:41:01.800 how again I'm 27

00:41:02.760 and I've been

00:41:04.120 feeling depressed

00:41:04.960 since I was 13

00:41:06.140 like that's

00:41:07.420 something's wrong

00:41:08.940 that's a lot

00:41:09.460 I don't want to

00:41:09.980 do this anymore

00:41:10.620 I'm just ready

00:41:11.620 to die at this

00:41:12.220 point I'm bawling

00:41:13.320 my eyes out

00:41:13.980 and like you can

00:41:14.600 tell I get emotional

00:41:15.380 when I think about

00:41:15.900 this but I don't

00:41:18.100 know why I knew

00:41:19.520 to do this how I

00:41:20.640 knew to do this

00:41:21.360 I've never no one's

00:41:22.520 ever told me to do

00:41:23.460 this but I just

00:41:26.320 said out loud Jesus

00:41:27.580 save me and

00:41:30.320 something happened

00:41:31.880 when when I said

00:41:32.860 that things just

00:41:34.320 started to change

00:41:34.980 like overnight

00:41:36.440 and that it

00:41:37.200 sounds it sounds

00:41:38.620 bizarre but that's

00:41:39.500 God I my heart

00:41:42.340 started to change

00:41:43.360 almost immediately

00:41:44.540 and I want to

00:41:46.300 mention this because

00:41:46.760 I don't want to

00:41:47.120 forget it because I

00:41:47.860 want people to

00:41:48.560 remember how

00:41:49.080 important it is to

00:41:50.260 pray for people

00:41:50.940 my best friend

00:41:52.000 since we were

00:41:53.400 babies she's been

00:41:54.380 Christian and I've

00:41:55.160 known her since I

00:41:56.760 don't even remember

00:41:57.260 meeting her we were

00:41:57.900 so small she's been

00:41:59.480 Christian our whole

00:42:00.100 lives and she's been

00:42:01.860 praying for me the

00:42:02.980 whole time like two

00:42:04.440 decades of prayer that

00:42:05.740 she finally saw come

00:42:06.680 to fruition so I like

00:42:08.500 to share that with

00:42:09.480 people because I'm

00:42:11.060 told a lot that it's

00:42:11.960 very encouraging because

00:42:12.960 there's people that

00:42:13.920 others know who they

00:42:15.640 just never see coming

00:42:16.880 out of whatever hell

00:42:19.160 they've entrapped

00:42:19.740 themselves in and

00:42:21.020 finding God so just

00:42:22.720 wanted to touch on

00:42:23.400 that that in the

00:42:24.080 background I have

00:42:24.920 someone praying for

00:42:26.940 me the whole time

00:42:27.640 right now after I

00:42:31.520 called out to Jesus I

00:42:34.320 can't explain it I

00:42:35.920 just wanted to know

00:42:37.180 more about him because

00:42:38.160 I felt different

00:42:39.060 inside it wasn't 100%

00:42:42.060 yet but it was it was

00:42:43.340 something it was

00:42:44.420 something that was

00:42:46.040 tangibly different than

00:42:47.320 everything else it

00:42:48.480 didn't feel like a

00:42:52.300 high like everything

00:42:53.960 else did it was the

00:42:56.320 word I was using before

00:42:57.480 I even knew that in the

00:42:59.000 Bible it says God does

00:43:00.900 not give us a spirit of

00:43:01.780 fear but of sound mind

00:43:03.120 the word I was using

00:43:04.220 was sound I was saying

00:43:05.540 to people around me I

00:43:06.280 can't explain it but I

00:43:07.320 feel sound just it's not

00:43:10.720 like static all the time

00:43:12.300 inside and so so you

00:43:15.120 had been on with all of

00:43:16.460 these other kind of

00:43:17.460 flights of fancy you'd

00:43:18.700 have this intense high

00:43:19.800 you're describing it with

00:43:20.600 Reiki you'd have this

00:43:21.580 real high feeling but what

00:43:23.380 you're saying with this

00:43:24.880 conversion to

00:43:25.860 Christianity you felt

00:43:27.740 normal normal that's the

00:43:30.060 difference right one makes

00:43:31.780 you feel elevated and

00:43:33.380 wild and kind of crazy the

00:43:35.440 other one the craziest

00:43:37.220 part of that is finally

00:43:39.260 you feel normal just

00:43:40.400 normal yeah just which was

00:43:42.620 probably a rare feeling for

00:43:43.840 those it was it was so

00:43:45.180 rare and I wanted to read

00:43:51.240 the Bible because you know

00:43:53.100 oh that's the one thing I

00:43:54.640 haven't done I've read

00:43:55.940 every other book in the

00:43:56.940 world and I'm seeking out

00:43:59.140 more books to read but

00:44:00.720 this one's finished and it

00:44:02.180 has all the answers but

00:44:03.580 that's the one I would

00:44:04.180 never touch because oh

00:44:05.380 that's that's the

00:44:07.720 patriarchy that's that's

00:44:10.020 man you know convoluting

00:44:12.840 it like you know I

00:44:13.740 believed all the myths

00:44:14.580 without ever even

00:44:15.660 researching them about the

00:44:17.320 Bible I just whatever

00:44:18.400 anyone said about it I'm

00:44:19.480 like yep that's BS don't

00:44:21.440 want to go there

00:44:22.220 paperback trash by Deepak

00:44:23.860 Chopra that's the truth

00:44:25.160 that's the word but the

00:44:26.480 enduring font of all

00:44:28.420 culture like we have more

00:44:30.240 documentation of the New

00:44:31.300 Testament than like Plato

00:44:32.300 and Homer but that's not

00:44:34.060 true yeah right this thing

00:44:35.760 that this guy wrote 10

00:44:36.660 years ago while tripping on

00:44:38.180 acid this must be it this

00:44:40.160 must be the answer to my

00:44:41.140 life yeah my millennial

00:44:42.600 friend who went to

00:44:43.420 Burning Man I'm sure he's

00:44:44.440 got way more insight than

00:44:45.680 Isaiah right it's just

00:44:47.340 insane the things I

00:44:48.280 believe and I feel so

00:44:49.660 sorry for that version of

00:44:50.600 myself and I I tease and

00:44:53.120 you know we laugh I do my

00:44:55.020 heart breaks for people

00:44:55.840 that are deceived by this

00:44:56.940 and people that might

00:44:57.760 watch this and think like

00:44:58.980 that girl's a lunatic like

00:45:01.700 probably have turned it

00:45:02.520 off by now but

00:45:03.600 you say no correction I

00:45:05.940 was a lunatic exactly

00:45:07.220 because I was there and I

00:45:08.640 I used to think my best

00:45:09.960 friend for instance oh

00:45:11.140 she's too rigid she's too

00:45:12.400 this she's too that she's

00:45:13.820 boring like I would she'd

00:45:15.500 come to a party maybe

00:45:16.320 she'd have a drink I'd want

00:45:17.460 her to drink more I'd you

00:45:19.180 know I'd always get us in

00:45:20.120 these bad situations growing

00:45:21.100 up like I'm the one

00:45:21.940 thrill-seeking I'm the one

00:45:23.100 wanting to do all the bad

00:45:23.900 stuff she's the one

00:45:24.580 wanting to be normal

00:45:27.780 moderate and moderate and

00:45:29.220 conservative and just

00:45:30.280 anyway I got my hands on

00:45:35.100 a Bible I got two in the

00:45:36.940 same day actually it was

00:45:37.840 kind of funny how that

00:45:38.520 happens I went to church

00:45:40.560 with my best friend she

00:45:41.520 took me for the first time

00:45:42.720 and it was very unlike the

00:45:44.960 church I had remembered

00:45:45.760 growing up because I went

00:45:46.640 to church a couple times

00:45:48.340 Catholic when I was very

00:45:50.740 small I went to Catholic

00:45:53.060 school for a little bit

00:45:54.040 when I was younger nothing

00:45:56.160 landed I was bullied a

00:45:58.140 priest screamed at me it's

00:45:59.280 a long story many such

00:46:00.680 cases I always like to say

00:46:03.540 that especially from the

00:46:06.120 era that we grew up in I

00:46:08.040 think I was a great

00:46:08.800 blessing that I didn't go

00:46:09.860 to Catholic school because

00:46:11.780 I'd almost certainly be an

00:46:13.220 atheist to this day you

00:46:14.540 know rather than I went to

00:46:16.080 all these kind of liberal

00:46:17.380 public schools so of course

00:46:18.960 now I'm a Catholic that's

00:46:20.780 the way it works that's

00:46:21.800 funny yeah I went to this

00:46:25.520 church with her and I was

00:46:27.540 I was just enthralled with

00:46:30.640 the way the pastor was

00:46:31.580 speaking he was saying

00:46:32.720 things I'd never heard kind

00:46:34.180 of a religious if you will

00:46:35.700 figure say before he was

00:46:37.040 talking about the state of

00:46:37.800 the world just talking

00:46:39.160 about everything that we

00:46:40.100 were just talking about

00:46:40.860 how the corruption is the

00:46:43.780 way it is because everyone's

00:46:44.820 serving you can only have

00:46:46.220 one of two masters it's

00:46:47.480 either God or the other

00:46:48.580 guy like there's no other

00:46:50.000 option because even if

00:46:51.280 it's yourself well if

00:46:53.140 you're a slave to your

00:46:54.520 flesh and your desires

00:46:55.980 you're thus a slave to

00:46:57.380 sin and we all know who

00:46:58.960 loves sin right so it's

00:47:00.900 just yeah it's something

00:47:02.480 that I think even a lot of

00:47:04.060 conservatives and

00:47:05.280 especially libertarian

00:47:06.440 flavored of the

00:47:08.180 conservatives kind of

00:47:09.080 misunderstand because we

00:47:10.460 talk about freedom these

00:47:11.660 days it's just you do

00:47:12.440 whatever you want but

00:47:13.740 that isn't the it's

00:47:15.320 certainly not the

00:47:15.740 Christian understanding of

00:47:16.680 freedom right the

00:47:17.260 Christian understanding of

00:47:18.020 freedom is that it is not

00:47:19.660 the ability to do whatever

00:47:20.900 you want but the right to

00:47:21.900 do what you ought because

00:47:23.440 as you cite the man who

00:47:25.620 sins is a slave to sin and

00:47:27.700 so if you use your freedom

00:47:29.760 to shoot heroin or look at

00:47:31.220 porn or do whatever any kind

00:47:33.080 of vice that there is you're

00:47:35.340 just you're going to lose

00:47:37.220 steadily your ability to

00:47:39.860 resist that temptation and

00:47:41.060 you become a slave and it's

00:47:42.580 just so interesting that

00:47:43.660 paradox that you mentioned

00:47:44.700 because you know I had

00:47:46.960 thought again the

00:47:48.260 misconceptions about the

00:47:49.100 Bible oh it's controlling

00:47:50.540 like why would I ever want

00:47:52.040 to follow a God that tells

00:47:53.180 me what to do why would why

00:47:54.440 would a God that is love

00:47:55.620 ever do that because my

00:47:57.180 understanding of God was

00:47:58.420 this pantheistic God of

00:48:00.600 source and we're all God and

00:48:02.900 we all have God within us and

00:48:04.580 so I didn't like it it's

00:48:09.160 really what it was it was never

00:48:10.420 the basis of is this true it's

00:48:12.500 I didn't like it because it

00:48:14.460 didn't make me feel good and

00:48:16.000 that's what new ageism is it's

00:48:17.620 I want to feel good now so

00:48:20.620 well everything you're talking

00:48:22.520 about you're focusing on the

00:48:24.620 subjectivity of it all on just

00:48:26.220 how you're feeling and I think

00:48:27.840 you're rightly observing that

00:48:29.420 it's all just total self

00:48:30.660 obsession and the reason everyone

00:48:32.520 who's into all these things they

00:48:33.740 always have a ton of self-help

00:48:34.840 books because they're much less

00:48:36.640 interested in the truth than

00:48:37.560 they are in themselves and it's

00:48:39.160 narcissistic spirituality yes

00:48:40.940 but my question is and it gets

00:48:43.080 right back to mercury being in

00:48:44.840 retrograde why our microphones

00:48:46.260 didn't work is there an

00:48:49.200 objective reality to these

00:48:51.840 things whether we're talking

00:48:53.320 about the Reiki heat or whether

00:48:55.080 we're talking about mercury being

00:48:57.140 in retrograde and screwing up my

00:48:58.720 production equipment is there

00:49:01.540 something to that even outside of

00:49:03.320 our own delusions and the

00:49:05.100 narratives we tell ourselves I

00:49:06.860 think yes I don't I don't think

00:49:08.860 it would be in the Bible if if it

00:49:11.380 weren't if God didn't know what

00:49:15.240 the dangers would be there

00:49:18.020 wouldn't be a warning label on

00:49:19.580 it because he's not saying he's not

00:49:22.040 saying don't consult astronomers and

00:49:23.920 necromancers because you know it's

00:49:25.820 just a dumb stupid waste of time

00:49:27.320 right here I think he's saying don't

00:49:29.500 consult astrologers and necromancers

00:49:30.920 because there's an actual danger

00:49:33.080 here of compromising your free will or

00:49:35.880 whatever talking to demons it's it's

00:49:40.780 real I mean and that's the draw to

00:49:42.360 it then that's I say this all the

00:49:44.140 time is that there's just enough

00:49:45.260 truth to get you hooked on the lies

00:49:47.300 forever so where is the distinction

00:49:49.840 if if you are saying that there is

00:49:52.720 something to you know the placement of

00:49:56.020 the stars into how things are working

00:49:57.880 on earth which which we know is true

00:50:00.360 in as much as we know that the moon has

00:50:02.920 certain physical effects you know

00:50:04.840 depending on its placement on tides or

00:50:07.120 on the earth right and we know that

00:50:09.620 would that's a very literal physical

00:50:11.240 example of something in a very limited

00:50:13.240 way but then even from the Christian

00:50:14.940 perspective we believe in providence we

00:50:16.960 believe in history we believe in a

00:50:18.900 divine order to the universe we believe

00:50:20.960 in coincidence and in coincidence very

00:50:24.960 often not being mere happenstance but in

00:50:27.400 being part of God's plan things happen for

00:50:30.180 reason in God's good time that's a very

00:50:32.680 Christian perspective but there's a ton

00:50:35.040 of overlap between that and you know

00:50:36.900 the way the stars are positioned so so

00:50:40.380 what's the distinction between the truth

00:50:42.300 of of astrology and all the rest of it and

00:50:44.740 the lies that go along with it well

00:50:47.600 ultimately it's all kind of determined by

00:50:50.660 man by fallible man I mean all of the the

00:50:55.220 whole backdrop of astrology is really

00:50:57.160 heavily based in Carl Jung's psychology

00:51:00.140 astrology is astro psychology so thank

00:51:04.600 you for calling out Carl Jung I hate it

00:51:06.600 when conservatives get really into Carl

00:51:08.400 Jung no he was an occultist also could you

00:51:11.980 give a little background for people people

00:51:13.180 know the name I don't have much but I

00:51:15.440 know he was an occultist and he had there

00:51:19.900 is Helena Blavatsky she was kind of like

00:51:23.880 one of the mothers of New Ageism because

00:51:26.720 New Ageism isn't new it's just that's

00:51:28.660 just kind of like the rebranded term for

00:51:30.420 Satanism but she herself was a Luciferian

00:51:34.800 and she said that Lucifer is kind of like

00:51:38.620 the pinnacle of liberation yeah so

00:51:42.400 Olinsky said the same thing these are the

00:51:44.080 people that are all connected with one

00:51:46.500 another and so astrology is taking Carl

00:51:50.880 Jung's teachings as a man who's connected

00:51:53.860 with these kinds of people or these kinds

00:51:56.720 of people are following his beliefs and

00:51:58.380 vice versa so you have to you have to look

00:52:02.140 at the source first of all and I always

00:52:04.720 like to go back to that because people try

00:52:06.780 and fight me on it well because I tried

00:52:09.200 to do this too when I first started to come

00:52:11.520 around to Jesus I wanted to so badly keep my

00:52:15.340 astrology and so I was like okay well exactly

00:52:21.380 what you just said well God put the moon

00:52:22.920 there God put the stars there God put the

00:52:25.740 sun there this way God made me born this

00:52:28.780 way because I was at that point able to let

00:52:30.640 go of this narrative that I came here to do

00:52:33.020 it it was oh okay God gave me my birth chart

00:52:36.820 so I was trying really hard to reframe

00:52:40.600 Christianity and so you can see it's still

00:52:43.160 like self-obsessed narcissism because I think

00:52:45.120 I have the answer still I'm going to rebrand

00:52:47.700 Christianity as as an astrologer and bring

00:52:51.200 God into the forefront like my intentions

00:52:53.140 were good but I tell people all the time

00:52:54.600 that saying is true the road to hell is

00:52:56.940 paved in good intentions and I had that I

00:52:59.700 mean for the record I think most people in

00:53:02.220 new age do I was a sad girl just wanted to

00:53:05.220 feel better and help other people feel

00:53:06.920 better too and that's 90% of the people I

00:53:09.820 knew that's the same thing they're not bad

00:53:11.960 people they're just heavily deceived and

00:53:14.300 thus children of wrath unfortunately so I

00:53:19.060 wanted to be the Christian astrologer and

00:53:21.600 start teaching through that lens but the

00:53:25.200 thing is you either believe what God says

00:53:26.880 or you don't and it got to a point where I

00:53:30.820 was in Isaiah 47 where it talks about

00:53:34.940 astrologers you know bring them forth if you

00:53:38.640 think they can save you go ahead and watch

00:53:42.000 them burn in their own fire because they

00:53:43.320 can't save themselves so how are they going

00:53:45.320 to save you and when I read that something

00:53:46.700 because the Bible's alive it speaks to you

00:53:49.420 it convicts you like nothing else can and

00:53:52.240 when I read those words it just it the Holy

00:53:58.060 Spirit just came over me and it was like I

00:54:00.000 can't do this anymore like I can but it's

00:54:03.140 not what God wants me to do he's warning me

00:54:05.400 against he doesn't want me to practice

00:54:08.000 divination that's exactly what it is it

00:54:09.660 says in Deuteronomy 18 that you're an

00:54:11.540 abomination the Lord's eyes if you're doing

00:54:13.080 that I don't want to be an abomination to

00:54:14.960 God that made me feel it just made me feel

00:54:19.680 so ungrateful and disobedient it was kind of

00:54:24.100 like you know when you're like a teenager

00:54:26.860 and you rebel against your parents and then

00:54:28.400 one day you're in your 20s and you're like

00:54:29.800 they were kind of right is like that same

00:54:32.480 sort of feeling it's exactly like that right

00:54:35.360 it's like oh they weren't letting me out

00:54:38.880 past curfew not because they hated me or

00:54:40.680 wanted to bully me because they wanted to

00:54:42.120 protect me and so coming around to that

00:54:44.340 idea of God kind of like that roundabout

00:54:46.080 way those we talked about earlier of how

00:54:49.060 all these rules are there and I don't like

00:54:50.760 the rules but I recognize now that true

00:54:53.360 love has boundaries and that's what that's

00:54:57.120 why God tells us to stay away from certain

00:54:59.700 things and to embrace other things because his

00:55:02.120 love for us has boundaries and he knows how

00:55:04.060 we are obviously because he made us so he

00:55:07.460 kind of sets us up with the perfect manual

00:55:11.260 for life honestly you think about marriage

00:55:14.260 which is the fullest sacramental expression

00:55:17.840 of love that you and I can find in this

00:55:20.080 world right and marriage is nothing if not

00:55:23.460 limits Antonin Scalia made this point

00:55:26.180 jokingly about the Obergefell decision that

00:55:30.720 created same-sex marriage and he mocked

00:55:33.760 Anthony Kennedy's opinion which established

00:55:35.980 same-sex marriage because Kennedy had said

00:55:38.660 that it was this important that same-sex marriage

00:55:42.140 was this important liberty that would expand the

00:55:46.440 right to intimacy that I don't know where the

00:55:48.640 right to intimacy is but he says he found that

00:55:50.080 somewhere in the Constitution and Scalia said

00:55:52.200 I don't know where the right to intimacy is but

00:55:54.200 even if we had one I assure you marriage

00:55:57.380 constricts rather than expands the right to

00:56:00.320 intimacy ask the nearest hippie meaning when

00:56:04.020 you get married you say okay I'm not going to

00:56:06.200 sleep with other people I'm only going to

00:56:07.800 sleep with this person for the rest of my

00:56:09.680 life and so it seems like a restriction but

00:56:11.680 really it is a liberation indeed it is a

00:56:15.680 liberation from your base desires and a

00:56:18.020 liberation from your kind of feeding of the

00:56:20.860 appetite constantly and it really does allow

00:56:22.740 you to elevate and to pursue other things and

00:56:27.220 to share your love and to and to will the good of

00:56:29.300 the other person and to give entirely of yourself to

00:56:31.460 your spouse and so this struggle with liberation I

00:56:34.720 find so interesting because you know that the

00:56:37.440 catechism says that the reason that you shouldn't

00:56:39.740 consult astrologers and necromancers is because it

00:56:43.340 is an attempt to to gain power over time and history and

00:56:50.420 ultimately other people that we were going you're trying to

00:56:53.360 find out the future in the stars you are trying to cheat you know

00:56:57.720 you're trying to get an unfair advantage to give yourself more

00:57:00.600 power yeah and self-importance something you mentioned that I

00:57:07.340 that I really wanted to talk about actually is how because you said the

00:57:14.080 right to intimacy for gay marriage right so people that are unbelievers and

00:57:20.340 now now that I'm on the other side of it I see it so clearly the way other

00:57:24.920 people try and converse with me or the things that people say to kind of push

00:57:29.420 back on what I'm now talking about is well we have rights to this that you know

00:57:35.020 believe what you want believe what you want you know whatever morals morals and

00:57:38.680 things like that so what's interesting with unbelievers is that they kind of

00:57:42.160 have to borrow from the Christian worldview in order to make their claims

00:57:44.900 yeah why is that it's it's just because if you want to talk about rights well if

00:57:53.460 there are things that we are kind of entitled entitled to thank you if we're

00:57:58.040 entitled to certain things if we're prescribed certain things then there's

00:58:01.880 someone prescribing that yeah so where do the rights come where do the rights

00:58:05.960 come they don't come from me like that's written on your heart from someone

00:58:09.620 and so it's great points yeah it's something that I see a lot is how

00:58:15.300 they have to borrow from the Christian worldview in order to make their

00:58:18.440 their claims true which but yet they then wish ultimately to liberate

00:58:24.060 themselves not only from the moral law but from the moral law giver and it

00:58:28.220 reminds me when when you talk about this liberation babble that keeps going

00:58:33.280 around in the acknowledgments of rules for radicals by Saul Alinsky who is one of

00:58:39.980 the most famous leftist organizers in American history he dedicates his book to

00:58:45.420 all sorts of rebels and then he has a little acknowledgement at the end of this

00:58:48.980 and he says and I can't forget to acknowledge that first rebel Satan who lost

00:58:55.220 lost himself heaven but won for himself his own kingdom and you you see that

00:59:01.240 language of liberation I mean you you actually even see it in paradise lost

00:59:06.140 right when Satan falls from heaven he's in hell and he says well forget about that

00:59:09.880 forget about heaven the mind is its own place and can make a hell of heaven and

00:59:14.900 heaven a hell that's something else with new ageism is that we've created our own

00:59:20.160 hell so it's kind of our job to get out of it but then it goes back to lacking

00:59:27.960 logic because if we're all God and God is love and the universe is love then how do

00:59:35.580 we also have these issues that we have to work through to get back to love yeah right

00:59:43.240 if everything everything's totally perfect there's no such thing as original sin it's

00:59:48.400 all good man but we know that the world is fallen and broken and we are part of the

00:59:56.080 world and we are fallen and broken so how are we supposed to fix it because I get the

01:00:03.000 original sin version of the world I get that the before the fall right the whole

01:00:08.160 Christian story before the fall the world was perfect and then man because he has

01:00:12.620 freedom exercise that freedom in a in a incorrect in a wrong and abusive way and this led to sin

01:00:19.600 and death pervading the world and man's kicked out of the garden and we inherit that this broken

01:00:24.420 nature as a part of original sin this is just an observation find me the man who who does not

01:00:30.540 have this and I'll I'll show you a liar I'll be pointing right at you so we we just observe this

01:00:35.680 fact of the world and and therefore man is in need of a savior and and this creates a basically

01:00:43.220 unsolvable problem unless God himself sends his only begotten son to die such that those who believe

01:00:48.840 in him might not perish but have everlasting life I can get that you might say I don't believe any of

01:00:53.260 that crap Michael but that that story makes sense yes I I don't to me the the really outlandish

01:01:00.940 accounting of it all is that no actually secretly everything's perfect you just got to get your

01:01:05.100 chakras a little bit more at the right angle man and then it'll all be fine that to me seems

01:01:09.020 far more laughable than the previous story yeah and I agree with you especially with the new eyes to

01:01:16.020 see that I have because going back to what you said the man saying it's our you know our right to

01:01:21.900 intimacy for gay marriage okay so what you're acknowledging therefore is that there is a truth you

01:01:28.440 know it's not only like the moral law giver but you're you're acknowledging that there's a truth

01:01:31.680 that we are have a right to live within and so in that context someone might say well yes but it's

01:01:36.640 my truth and so this is a very this is very popular dialogue amongst new agers is my truth my truth my

01:01:42.640 truth my truth and again that seeps into politics my truth my truth my truth so it's relativism it's

01:01:49.000 subjectivity like you mentioned and it's self-refuting because well there is no truth okay is that true

01:01:55.280 my truth is just as true as your truth okay well what if my truth is that they're that can't be

01:02:01.880 true right you're you're already excluding by saying that all truths are true you're excluding

01:02:09.580 people who don't believe that so it just it's logically inconsistent and it doesn't make sense

01:02:15.940 none of it makes sense I noticed I remember in college some of my liberal friends were quite

01:02:20.660 culturally relativistic and they say there's no such thing as a bad culture and you can't point to

01:02:25.160 those Aztecs slaughtering 80,000 people you can't say that was a bad culture how dare you that's so

01:02:29.420 racist all the cultures are just to be judged on their own terms by the way never western culture

01:02:34.800 they never they would seem to exclude western culture but okay putting that aside to say we

01:02:37.940 have to accept and embrace all of the cultures and also there's a rape culture going on on college

01:02:42.840 campuses and we need to stop the rape culture and I said hold on right if you're telling me we have

01:02:47.580 to accept all the cultures and then there's this rape culture are you you're telling no okay obviously we

01:02:53.280 have to not accept certain cultures so if that's the case then don't we have to come to certain

01:02:58.340 decisions about these things don't we ultimately need to say okay do this don't do that this good

01:03:03.520 that bad god good devil bad go to church exactly don't we have to say that exactly at some point but

01:03:10.300 no one's doing that um and this push to kind of eliminate objectivity is just it's just the

01:03:19.240 unraveling of scripture before our eyes essentially um i you know i really for for for that whole 10

01:03:29.520 years just really believe that you know i had an understanding of god but i wanted it to be the god

01:03:35.720 that was in my mind i created an idol of god in my head and a lot of new agers will do that because

01:03:41.280 they do understand that god good devil bad sort of thing but not in the context of what the bible

01:03:46.220 says about it it's in the context of what they want it to be or whatever new age book you're reading

01:03:51.920 says it is um and it really is all these essentially it's all hinduism because hinduism is sort of like

01:04:00.360 the marriage of all religions in one essentially excluding christianity and christianity is really

01:04:08.440 unique because it's the only it's the only worldview that you know god reaches down to man everything else

01:04:17.280 it's man reaching up to try and get to god it's all about doing the work doing the work doing the

01:04:23.040 work doing the work and you know salvation or the bible does say like work out your salvation but that's

01:04:28.660 not it's not work for it's work out like exercise practice it right right so it's a cooperation with

01:04:33.900 god's grace sometimes how it's described as god's grace comes all the way down the mountain

01:04:38.560 and you have the you have the right well you don't have the right but you have the ability to turn

01:04:45.040 away from god's grace yes or to cooperate with god's grace and so obviously there is an action

01:04:50.440 that that that is entailed by that faith without works is dead but it's it's not an action to earn

01:04:55.460 your salvation it's right it's a it's an action to cooperate with god's grace right and when you

01:04:59.900 love someone i say this a lot like when you love someone you want to commit to them and make them happy

01:05:05.140 and that's i'm you know we're in relationship with god you kind of want to do that for someone that

01:05:11.200 you love more than anything but back to the whole hinduism thing how it's all it's all relative it's

01:05:19.340 all you do you sort of mindset it's all karma it's all reincarnation so you know if you mess up in this

01:05:25.520 life you got the next one to figure it out because your soul just going to keep cycling through and

01:05:30.340 through and through until you eventually reach nirvana which is basically hindu heaven enlightenment if you

01:05:36.740 will um and it's um it's just insane when i talk about these things now like when i hear these words

01:05:45.620 come out of my mouth i can't believe that i subscribed to it for so long and it makes me sad but i'm very

01:05:52.920 very grateful for how i came out of the other side so from the time of late september to december of 2021

01:06:00.740 i was teetering on the edge of christianity and new ages i'm thinking i could do both until

01:06:05.880 i began to read the bible more and it began to really convict me and there was this moment when

01:06:12.380 i went to church pastor did an altar call you know come down to be saved if you don't want to do it

01:06:17.540 alone anymore you know there's a there's a there's a father in heaven that loves you send his son to

01:06:23.600 stretch out his arms and a wooden cross and die for you i'm just like weeping um i go down everyone

01:06:29.320 claps it was really nice but my pastor came over i told him a little bit about me he had actually

01:06:35.240 come out of the new age movement like back in the 70s wow yeah what what sort of denomination is there

01:06:42.860 or is this a non-denominational yeah i'm not really i'm not i don't think the denomination thing is our

01:06:50.960 hills to die on necessarily i think if you just love do what the bible says and love jesus and work

01:06:56.460 through what the bible tells you to do i don't know i think i think in a way denominations are

01:07:01.020 another way that man has tried to control god or play god but don't we if if the denominations

01:07:07.420 disagree don't we need to you know if there's some denominations yeah i mean there were denominations

01:07:13.180 truly well i don't think they're christian but they they identify as christian and we live in a trans

01:07:18.900 age so everyone identifies as well but there are denominations that deny the divinity of christ

01:07:22.920 right there are denominations that deny the nicene creed and so they might call themselves

01:07:27.960 christian but we as christians would say no you're manifestly not christian yeah and so doesn't that

01:07:34.080 then on matters of who christ is what he wants how to interpret scripture you know 30 000 various

01:07:42.040 denominations around the world isn't it isn't it our responsibility to figure it out or is it wouldn't

01:07:49.040 at least be good for us to figure it out i think it's our responsibility to just continue to

01:07:53.440 preach what god says in in that sense but how do we know reciting the you know just what the gospel

01:08:00.460 says because what i've come to just really believe is just what what the bible says is true and that

01:08:05.060 it's not going to contradict itself and god's not going to contradict himself and the holy spirit's not

01:08:09.120 going to contradict itself you know people will say like oh god told me to do this but if you cross

01:08:12.800 reference it with scripture did he really you know like oh god told me i should still be doing

01:08:17.000 astrology did he really no what does the bible say about it but what about what about ambiguous

01:08:22.800 verses for instance christ says call no man father christ says uh in in the same verse or verses set of

01:08:33.420 verses suggests that we shouldn't call people master or uh teacher but presumably you don't call your

01:08:41.960 father by by his first name right or you know your grandfather whoever uh you when you meet someone

01:08:47.400 on the street you probably call him mr smith or mr jones mr just means master you go see the physician

01:08:52.760 you probably call him dr smith whatever so are you contradicting what christ tells you to do i would say

01:09:01.200 that's more so in the context of perhaps a sense of authority over you or over your sovereignty like in

01:09:14.480 that context like say don't call someone else father maybe if they're claiming to speak through me or

01:09:22.640 same thing with master like you know cult masters don't right or teachers right but you call your

01:09:29.080 teacher teacher yeah so my only point on this is not the meaning of that verse but my my point is

01:09:36.080 reasonable people could interpret that in completely different ways so then as as you are pursuing the

01:09:44.120 truth don't you feel an obligation or at least a sort of urgency to figure out one what it really

01:09:51.760 means what you know what god really means definitely and two who has the authority even to

01:09:59.300 interpret what that really means because if if it's merely a matter of personal interpretation then

01:10:03.860 you're going to get just in this country alone 330 million interpretations so right so i i agree i mean

01:10:10.600 i always hate sort of internecine squabbling between you know i don't know the like liberal

01:10:16.340 methodists and the less liberal methodists or whatever i mean i think a lot of that is very silly

01:10:20.280 but it comes from a serious place which is we want to know god and know what god wants for us

01:10:25.600 right and that makes sense because he created us to need him um we all kind of have this god-shaped

01:10:31.560 hole and that's why we try and fill it with porn drugs sex empty relationships astrology um

01:10:39.040 and i think we are once we really know god we do want to know as much as we can because we understand

01:10:46.400 it's the greatest gift we've ever been given and the greatest love we've ever had but i mean the bible

01:10:51.460 does say that no man will know god's mind so i think ultimately there are questions that we won't

01:11:00.500 be able to answer until we're talking to jesus maybe well you're right i mean we could never we could

01:11:05.120 never comprehend god in as much as if god could fit in our little heads he wouldn't be god right because

01:11:12.240 he would fit into our kind of finite not not particularly expansive minds it reminds me of

01:11:18.500 there's a legend about saint augustine when he's riding on the trinity and augustine's walking on

01:11:24.200 the beach and he sees this little kid and the kid has got a clamshell and he's scooping up water and

01:11:28.740 putting it into a hole and saint augustine says hey kid what are you doing and the kid says oh i'm

01:11:34.460 going to put the ocean in in the hole and augustine says you stupid kid you're not you can't fit the

01:11:40.740 ocean into that hole and uh the kid looks up at augustine and says right and you cannot fit the

01:11:46.220 trinity into your mind augustine and then is transformed into an angel and flies away now this

01:11:51.020 is a legend you know obviously but makes a very good point you're never going to comprehend god

01:11:56.340 however i don't think then we necessarily have to fall into a quietism and shrug our shoulders and

01:12:02.640 say well who can know whatever you know when christ says to peter here are the keys to the kingdom

01:12:07.640 of heaven what you bind on earth will be bound in heaven what you loose on earth will be loosed in

01:12:11.340 heaven hey fellas you have the power to forgive sins and whose sins you forgive are forgiven and

01:12:16.380 whose sins you retain are retained i mean he's and go make apostles of all the nations i mean he is

01:12:21.260 giving them a real charge in a real place in a real world founding an actual church and so i i just

01:12:27.400 wonder with that kind of authority when you'll become catholic i guess is what i'm saying

01:12:32.980 um i don't know i i've looked into a lot of catholic apologetics um i don't know if you've

01:12:43.740 heard of mike winger i don't have him uh he was he was catholic turned christian and he

01:12:52.440 he uses like all the scripture as to why that's so but then he'll have debates with people that will

01:12:59.140 also use scripture to say oh well this is true though so i don't know all i know is that i love

01:13:05.700 jesus and i love the bible and i want to do what it says and and you'll figure it out along the way

01:13:11.060 yeah this is what happened i'm still a baby i know you know i was thinking about this because

01:13:14.580 my reversion happened i guess about 23 was kind of the culminate 23 24 was sort of the culmination of

01:13:21.620 it and like uh when hemingway talks about going bankrupt and he says it happens gradually and then

01:13:25.980 suddenly that was like that for me and it was a lot of reading and a lot of thinking yeah and the

01:13:30.560 the reason i i keep coming back to these sorts of questions on the nuances of this belief or that

01:13:37.540 belief is because providentially astrologically perhaps one one of the first people to

01:13:46.100 make me think about god again was it was actually my roommate ran randomly assigned roommate in college

01:13:52.980 who was a cradle catholic fell away uh his family became kind of a more mega church protestant type

01:13:58.800 family but he was sort of agnostic and he introduced me to a calvinist philosopher who was at notre dame a

01:14:04.900 catholic university who was presenting a version of an argument for the existence of god that goes back

01:14:10.780 to saint anselm of canterbury who's obviously a catholic saint but whose argument was rejected by saint

01:14:16.540 thomas aquinas one of the most important doctors of the church so incredibly complex and that would be

01:14:21.680 the ontological argument for god and so i really went through this period where i was reading

01:14:27.000 calvinists i was reading anglicans i was read i was all of these people even chesterton who catholics

01:14:33.500 love and he became catholic but chesterton started when he wrote orthodoxy he was anglican john henry

01:14:38.720 newman who's now a catholic saint he wrote all these arguments against the papacy and how he hated the

01:14:42.680 catholic church and so it was just all and that period of my life it's like a whirlwind because i just felt

01:14:49.940 like the gates had been opened and this kind of after so much time in the wilderness this rush of

01:14:54.900 truth some of which yes you know there there was some confusion in there i was getting hit with some

01:14:59.880 kind of contradictions from there was it was messy you know but but ultimately it was a kind of

01:15:04.900 rush of truth that was coming on me that i'm still working out right and it's honestly really fun

01:15:10.200 yeah it's a fun process um after i went down to be saved if you will um although i feel like at that

01:15:21.360 point i already was it was just kind of the symbol of it right yeah thank you i you know he prayed with

01:15:29.760 me for a couple minutes and back with the moon rituals and things like that i would always feel

01:15:35.620 this ache in my chest like this emptiness this hole this anxiety this crushing weight of i don't even

01:15:46.200 know i can't even explain it it just was like pressure like i was going to have a heart attack

01:15:50.260 but my heart wasn't beating fast it really really intense pain whenever we would meditate and i would

01:15:55.140 try and kind of avoid meditation because of that reason it would happen when i would do yoga

01:15:58.880 it would happen when i would pray which back then was praying to the pantheistic god um well what was

01:16:08.460 that like like what did you essentially praying to myself you know so strange i um i would i it was never

01:16:21.540 like you know asking for it was kind of i'm going to do this like i'm going to make this happen because i

01:16:30.440 have god's power in me because i am a part of source and that is what god is so it wasn't wasn't just a

01:16:37.620 prayer which is a request or an act or an act of worship and adoration it was a declaration it wasn't

01:16:45.580 please lord let this happen yeah it was i am do it whether you want me or not right wow and that's

01:16:51.420 that's what like kind of law of attraction thing is with manifestation it's all i am i am i am i am

01:16:56.420 which is again counterfeit gospel because we know who says i am who i am and so it's in a way claiming

01:17:03.640 authority over god or saying that you know better than god that's what all the new ageism is i know

01:17:08.060 better than god um and it's just not true if it were true we would have figured it out by now

01:17:15.480 wow let's be honest even even just that declaration that it centers around i am i am i am

01:17:21.660 seems uh coincidental right a little too much yeah and a lot of it's like that you know reiki

01:17:29.480 laying hands in scripture right there's all these counterfeits right because who lays hands in

01:17:35.940 scripture it's christ and his apostles right and who lays hands in reiki like you like yeah me like

01:17:41.720 like me worshiping my aliens you know what authority do i have um and that's the thing about

01:17:52.260 satan though is that he's he's not he's not very creative he's crafty he's not very creative and he

01:17:57.620 can't really make anything he just kind of mimics things that's what all the new ageism is just kind

01:18:03.880 of mimicking godliness and that's why we're drawn to it because we are inherently made to need god and

01:18:11.660 so when something looks like god and we don't really have the foundational understanding of what

01:18:19.280 that is yeah we get drawn to it and we kind of want more of it and then we fall down rabbit holes

01:18:25.860 when we don't have a christian foundation or any sense of you know biblical theology at all

01:18:35.200 because i really i didn't this this point on mimicry is so good it's such a good point that

01:18:42.480 satan doesn't create anything he just kind of apes other things in a way that is distorted and

01:18:49.880 perverted but but even you know human beings are mimetic creatures right we imitate other people we

01:18:57.320 take it when we spend time with our friends we take on the attributes of our friends this is why

01:19:02.060 people popularly say that you are the average of the people the five people you spend the most time

01:19:07.360 with and we do i mean i could i could point to aspects that have now become part of my personality

01:19:12.320 and i don't know the way i speak or the way i dress or the way i walk and i can say oh no i think i

01:19:17.040 first got this from this guy you know when i was seven or i got this when teenagers are always taking on

01:19:21.640 new personalities and mercifully most are discarded at some point but you know obviously part of it stays

01:19:27.040 because you have a personality and so then i i wonder for the if we are in a position now where

01:19:35.460 christian public christianity is on the decline traditional religion writ large is on the decline

01:19:40.360 and all this weird new age stuff is on the increase for people who don't have much of a foundation

01:19:45.720 they're very often just going to copy what yeah they see what their friends do yeah i mean i suspect

01:19:52.200 this is behind the transgender explosion now more than one in five zoomers say that they're lgbtq

01:19:57.940 either alex jones is right and there's something in the water or or you know turning the frogs gay

01:20:03.000 or it's a social contagion let's see maybe it's both but i i suspect it's more the latter

01:20:08.320 and that's why when i say it's dangerous and it needs to be talked about that's why

01:20:13.340 because we are we're complementary beings and we just do that and so you know if you're in school

01:20:22.320 and this girl's walk around she looks cool because she has on a zodiac t-shirt and you know she maybe

01:20:30.580 she brings out her tarot cards at lunch you get drawn you think that's cool i want to do that too

01:20:34.780 so it's important i think to really teach teach about these things and expose these things the bible

01:20:41.540 says expose darkness um so like you said yeah i can't sit back and shrug your shoulders you have

01:20:46.640 to that you do have a responsibility to understand to the best of your knowledge what the bible says

01:20:53.640 and what that means i believe and especially with kids you know because kids are so malleable exactly

01:21:03.920 and it's just so funny how you know we can have gay pride festivals and drag queen shows and drag queens

01:21:12.640 in kindergarten classes and that's fine that's not indoctrination but taking your kid to church

01:21:17.000 teaching them the bible what the bible says is true that's indoctrination like that's not okay

01:21:21.720 when you can't you're not allowed it's not even just that you can have these pride parades and the drag

01:21:27.360 stuff and everything in elementary schools it's that you have to we now have to have all this stuff

01:21:34.040 and you you are not allowed to teach the bible it's the one book you're not allowed to teach in public

01:21:39.740 schools you can teach the secret you can teach some weird occult stuff you can teach mein Kampf actually

01:21:47.620 you just can't teach the bible that's on somebody it's kind of weird that might offend somebody yeah

01:21:53.220 right yeah and i've been told that a bunch now too is that oh i'm offensive now i'm a bigot now i'm

01:21:59.620 mean now i'm not tolerant anymore and it's crazy first of all how many people preferred the me that

01:22:07.920 wanted to die every day huh um and it's also crazy how again it's you're yelling at me about tolerance

01:22:19.140 while deploying incredible intolerance to what i now believe right so thank you for not being

01:22:26.600 consistent with what you're saying because it just it just further makes me really see that i'm on the

01:22:35.380 right path now based on all the inconsistencies from people in their like right the pitfalls of

01:22:42.540 their logic and their belief systems and how just christianity really is just it just makes sense

01:22:50.900 it makes sense it answers all the questions well this is the point of theology people seem to think

01:22:56.220 that theology is just pie in the sky you know scholastic the school men just arguing over nonsense

01:23:03.060 theology is faith seeking understanding and i guess you could say a similar thing about the

01:23:11.260 new age stuff without the understanding right theology is applying rigor and logic to our

01:23:18.560 intuitions and to our faith the new age stuff completely discards yes logic and rigor and reason

01:23:25.880 and it just says well man if you feel the heat you know that's probably your chakras acting up

01:23:31.160 and it's all you do you i'll do me and why do yolo yolo which is a whole thing in and of itself you

01:23:38.720 know alistair crowley is like the father of modern satanism essentially who's also behind

01:23:45.980 people don't want to hear this the inspiration of all classic rock and roll they loved him he's like

01:23:52.680 on led zeppelin covers beatles all of it kiss all of them david bowie loved him yeah and this is a guy

01:23:59.860 who just loathed christianity had like devout christian parents have you ever heard of him oh of course

01:24:05.680 yeah and he's you know so you know all about him and and what was his rule he said there's one

01:24:11.180 commandment basically yeah do whatever you want do whatever you want and that's in that's in music

01:24:15.980 that's in culture so that's what i was talking about earlier how it's like all these the main all

01:24:21.420 the mainstream things are all obsessed with following the doctrines of these people that

01:24:25.660 hate god yeah and love the liberation of satan right so there's that alone is just something to

01:24:35.960 really be curious about if you're an unbeliever or if you doubt you know if you doubt christianity

01:24:42.440 if you think it's just a bunch of mumbo jumbo that's something to really take a look at and ask

01:24:47.100 why right because you could at least observe even if you're on the fence or you're skeptical of all of

01:24:51.560 this you could say you know at least it's kind of weird right it's kind of weird to wear the leather

01:24:56.700 harness i mean even sometimes people will say especially on the transgender issue but you could

01:25:02.180 say it about the crystals or the reiki or the astrology say oh who cares oh come on who cares and

01:25:08.380 i always flip that question back and i say you're asking why i care i guess my question is why do you

01:25:14.760 care why do why do the people pushing this stuff care so much if if the debate over transgender bathrooms

01:25:23.920 comes down to oh why do you conservatives care i say well why have you cared so much that you invest

01:25:30.700 time and effort and resources and national political campaigns just to let boys go into the little girls

01:25:37.720 room obviously you care a whole lot and i care because one it's unjust and it's based on a false

01:25:46.140 anthropology and lies but two the other reason i care is because these people care so much so

01:25:52.960 obviously there's something important at stake here even if it's a little hard to pick up on at first

01:25:58.800 and from towards the beginning of our conversation how i mentioned new ageism is in culture and politics

01:26:05.340 that's a great example is a transgenderism because yes they're they want all-inclusive bathrooms and

01:26:11.580 ultimately this is all to validate the self whatever you're feeling is true right whatever you want

01:26:18.300 is is what should be it's all just constantly affirming self self self self nothing outside of

01:26:28.740 self matters self matters but at that at the same token well everyone else needs to accept that

01:26:37.620 we need to honor that we need to honor each other's truths as the one big cohesive it so it's not

01:26:47.400 incredibly it's not about the selves individually it's really just about yourself exactly it's about

01:26:54.400 you get to do whatever the hell you want and everyone else has to indulge and you don't want

01:26:58.560 to offend people you want to be inclusive you want to be loving which like i understand the mindset

01:27:02.840 especially because i used to have all those beliefs like i'm not someone who's just been i wasn't raised

01:27:09.180 a conservative christian of you know i i was living for a really long time i had feel the burn t-shirts

01:27:15.540 you know i was i was practicing all the new age stuff like i can confidently say i understand those

01:27:23.200 mindsets and i know that a lot of it comes from a genuine place of care for other people care for

01:27:30.720 wanting to make the best of your life and of course that comes from making other people feel good so

01:27:37.720 validating them and so in a way that's even still narcissism because you just want to validate other

01:27:42.080 people you don't want to you don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable why would we ever do

01:27:47.600 that and that's you know since being christian that's that's a huge contrast that i see versus

01:27:54.060 back then because again like i'm crazy now but i wasn't then and my beliefs offend people right just

01:28:04.640 because i'm telling them essentially i'm i'm holding the holding them to the fire and essentially saying

01:28:11.660 you're wrong and people don't want to be told that they're wrong because then that makes them

01:28:15.560 accountable to something and that's going back to this whole backdrop of hinduism i think that's why

01:28:21.140 people are so drawn to religions like that and to these new age practices as a whole is because

01:28:27.740 there's no accountability for any of it you can never be wrong it's all you yeah it's all on you

01:28:34.540 it's your karma it's your life just do the best you can whatever that means to you so there's something

01:28:41.900 that seems comforting there and when you get back to that word comfort you had been indulging all of

01:28:48.660 these practices that were supposed to comfort you and and and solve your despair and angst that had

01:28:55.820 been going on for years and years and years but at the end of it you still wanted to kill yourself

01:28:59.480 and now you're doing something that's less comfortable by the standards of our culture

01:29:05.820 and you're at far greater peace yes that's a little strange it's it's isn't it and i just find it

01:29:14.500 fast i really do find it fascinating how people how people react to me now when i you know put things

01:29:22.440 out there like this is what jesus says but again i really just believe what the bible says the bible

01:29:27.300 says you'll be persecuted you know if they if they hate me they're going to hate you i mean you have

01:29:31.780 to remember that jesus himself made pretty radical claims i mean he they killed him saying saying that

01:29:39.120 he is god right they killed him so they're why would they like you for you know it just it kind of

01:29:49.520 makes sense in that in as much as we uh endeavor to imitate christ uh we're probably a rather pale

01:29:55.060 imitation most of the time and uh you know so you figure well that's what they did to him

01:29:59.100 the the more we imitate christ probably the more suffering and persecution we'll endure in this

01:30:04.680 world probably again it's not that it's a certain thing but uh probably and that's the way it goes

01:30:09.840 because you referred earlier to the devil as the prince of this world and the bible refers to the

01:30:13.340 devil as the prince of this world but on the point of the relationship so you you lose your

01:30:17.820 friends yeah did you lose all your friends no actually one of them came with me out of the new age

01:30:23.760 which was really cool i was really glad not to lose her and we go back and forth all the time

01:30:28.720 and texts like even um this morning when i'm driving in the airport she's like the moon looks

01:30:34.840 so pretty right now it's just i feel like i can see every crater and she's like it's really cool to

01:30:39.460 just appreciate the moon as god's creation and not as some idol that's controlling my life i was like

01:30:44.080 totally agree it's on that point do you because you you say that the thing you shared with all these

01:30:49.420 people and why you lost a lot of these friends is just sin you just would sin together and so

01:30:53.800 you give that up but sin is very tempting even after you give it up yeah especially after you give

01:30:59.900 it up it's very tempting do you find yourself tempted to you know pull out the tarot cards or

01:31:03.940 anything never no when you know i'd say the first couple months when i first knew of jesus after i called

01:31:12.440 out to him for the first time um i was because i was tempted to stay in that world that's why i was

01:31:18.280 trying to do both for so long and then just came that point one day reading isaiah in december i

01:31:25.000 called my best friend the devout christian our whole lives and i was like i can't do it anymore i'm

01:31:28.740 gonna give up my podcast i'm gonna i don't know what's gonna happen with that i'm gonna stop teaching

01:31:33.220 yoga i can't do any of this anymore it's not that i couldn't like i physically couldn't like my

01:31:37.600 hands were tied it's just that i didn't want to yeah your heart's not in it my heart was changed

01:31:42.280 right my my mind was renewed and the hardest part was just doing it but after i put out my final

01:31:52.020 episode of moon and back where i said those same words i don't want to do yoga anymore i don't want

01:31:57.960 to do astrology anymore and i was saying like for the first time i know this sounds crazy this is

01:32:02.740 i've really met jesus and i know that you guys can tell that i've been talking about it with

01:32:07.480 the astrology and trying to make it work but it's like you know round hole square peg it just doesn't

01:32:13.280 work because they don't belong together because this is a sin and i always would tell and i feel

01:32:18.500 so bad for um what i would tell people because i would i was like a self-proclaimed self-healer

01:32:25.500 and was teaching others about self-healing even though i would cry myself to sleep at night

01:32:29.820 wow so how many self self-healers so-called probably do that exactly but it's okay because

01:32:39.500 it's the process wow yeah it's your healing it's your shadow work it's a very popular term

01:32:45.800 the idea of shadow work is literally to integrate your demons like your inner demons so this is like

01:32:53.900 the dialogue is used it's you know integrate your demons fight through your demons um make friends

01:33:01.840 with your demons so that you can understand yeah this is like stuff i used to teach and believe and

01:33:06.700 preach make friends with your demons because they're teaching you something it's but it's all in that guise

01:33:14.680 of again satan is liberating so if you make friends with the demons they're not some scary monster in the

01:33:21.560 corner you can kind of face it and work through it so it's good intentions but it's um garbage

01:33:29.160 honestly yeah if i had to give three pieces of advice that's all i could ever give to anybody

01:33:35.800 certainly one of them would be don't make friends with demons even your own especially especially your

01:33:42.720 own actually yeah because again it's like a justification of um all things that are wrong with you

01:33:50.860 or all things wrong that you do kind of thing like i had really bad patterns

01:33:57.860 in in my relationship you know and we've worked through all this in your romantic romantic relationship

01:34:05.880 because i was

01:34:06.780 lusty and just wanted to go go do my thing because you know i was heavy before i want to go

01:34:16.780 do the sexual movement like i'm like having these conversations so your wild oats yes and like

01:34:23.040 saying like i never had a hoe phase maybe i should try maybe that will make me feel better so you're

01:34:27.580 saying this to your boyfriend yeah like say when he was my boyfriend at the time when i'm saying this

01:34:31.700 to him like this is because i'm like going through all all these crazy things like i'm just sad like

01:34:38.140 grasping at anything that i could so you're saying this is an amazing moment so you're saying

01:34:42.240 you you're getting physically healthier at least and you're losing weight and you're exercising and you're

01:34:47.600 saying man i used to be really fat and now i'm really hot and so listen boyfriend i want to go

01:34:53.240 sleep around kind of that was like essentially my mindset but this is like this is like who i am and

01:35:00.420 again there's because there's i'm not accountable to anything i'm just living for what makes me feel

01:35:06.980 good right right so you're not you're if you're not accountable to god you're certainly not

01:35:11.800 accountable to your boyfriend yeah right and when i found this is like part of the testimony i don't

01:35:17.280 talk about a lot but he and i have really gotten into this recently so i know i can share it more but

01:35:21.420 part of my testimony a big part of it is god really saved me from wrecking that relationship

01:35:29.880 like i was i was so tempted by really bad situations repeatedly like repeatedly never

01:35:40.120 never like oh maybe it's like a good guy that could that could be something it's like it's not

01:35:46.020 like a red flag it's like a red boat of a man just like the worst just the worst and terrible guys and

01:35:51.860 like i'd just be so tempted by it and that was something that was one of the very first ways that

01:35:58.140 jesus showed me that he was in my heart because he turned that off like immediately and like actually

01:36:03.680 let me for the first time like really fully love this person and not wonder what it would be like

01:36:12.280 to seek out pleasure outside of that it was really incredible um i remember in my uh single days

01:36:20.880 in my atheistic days as well i uh similarly was sowing my wild oats and uh you know have red blood

01:36:31.100 sure liked the pretty girls you know and i remember there was one time after i don't know the 7 000

01:36:38.360 girlfriend let's say uh i i woke up one morning and i thought what's the point yeah i thought not only

01:36:47.360 is this probably wrong you know to be just kind of casually seeing all these people and you know

01:36:52.800 engaging in all sorts of things i shouldn't do but it's just such a waste of time yeah obviously it's

01:37:00.880 a perversion of my soul and someone else's soul and it's not it's but even before i got to that

01:37:08.040 i just thought like what a huge none of this is going to lead to marriage none of this is going to

01:37:12.660 lead to anything this is just a kind of brief titillation and then i don't know wake up and

01:37:19.100 do it again do it again yep and it's crazy because in all that time too i always knew what i really

01:37:25.240 wanted and i would question why do i thought why do i sabotage this like why when i know what i really

01:37:31.600 really really want is just to be in a you know monogamous unconditionally loving trusting loyal

01:37:38.600 lovely relationship like my grandma and grandpa had they were married 18 until she passed you know

01:37:43.980 like that kind of relationship that's what i want so why am i going after these things and it's

01:37:48.520 it just ties back to this to sin ultimately because i was a slave to what my flesh just wanted not what

01:37:56.920 like well not what really my spirit wanted right i was i was a slave to it and so i continued to

01:38:01.980 justify it you know oh back to the astrology okay like my you know mars is in i don't even remember

01:38:10.240 anymore which feels really good to say my mars is in and mars is like the planet of sex like who

01:38:15.000 decides that by the way the men are from mars i've been told right so my mars is in whatever

01:38:22.380 constellation that's why i'm so lusty fine you know it's just so that's fine it's fine because this is

01:38:30.040 how i am it's in the stars and it exactly and it's something just for me to work through which is my

01:38:34.260 own karma my own bs so if you don't mind my asking when you bring this to your uh ben boyfriend

01:38:40.120 what does he say uh no yeah he literally like verbatim uh no because i like i try to like open

01:38:49.580 up the relationship he was like uh i'm not doing that yeah no so that's good a lot better these days

01:38:57.400 guys are such wimps that they'll uh i i i know men who have their girlfriends say i want to go

01:39:03.980 sleep around i i like friends of mine have said like well that's okay you've got to explore you know

01:39:11.280 that's exactly what people are saying to me that that's like that that is cuckoldry that it like

01:39:19.240 when people say you're a cuckery that's like literally what that is and it destroys again the

01:39:25.780 paradigm that god intended you know like my whole my heart totally transformed around what sex means

01:39:34.600 around what relationships mean around what marriage means you know before i was like marriage is a piece

01:39:39.100 of paper yeah don't see it that way even for a second now um no the piece of paper crazy symbolizes

01:39:46.000 something right and it's just it's crazy how much has changed in a year and you know that's something

01:39:52.800 else that's very important to my whole story is because i you know people that have been watching

01:39:57.420 me like i don't want to talk to me but they watch me kind of thing don't follow me but are in my

01:40:02.780 story views um i know that those people can't deny that they've seen changes in me like just total 180

01:40:11.380 from who i used to be and how i used to act and behave to who i am now and not only that but all the

01:40:17.040 things that have transpired like this opportunity like this is insane that this is that i'm here

01:40:21.380 i say it all the time you know this is you you're welcomed to the michael knowles show set you've made

01:40:27.660 it you're at the top of the heap i say it all the time but it's funny i actually i like almost kind of

01:40:33.940 funny prayed about this like a couple months ago i was like daily wire would be really cool i'm just

01:40:41.160 saying did you really like seriously it's really insane similarly how i prayed and it's like these

01:40:48.620 prayers that aren't really i'm like that's never going to happen you know if it's in your will i

01:40:55.400 would really like if he could set us up in tennessee fiance gets offered a job that he didn't apply for

01:41:01.420 in tennessee and franklin exactly where i want to live you know it's just i love too how you phrase

01:41:07.100 that prayer because it's how i phrase my prayers if it's your will yes and i don't just do it to be

01:41:13.120 the most pious boy in nashville the other reason i do it is because have you ever wanted thought you

01:41:19.460 wanted something and really you thought i really if i get this one thing then i'll be so happy and

01:41:23.740 then you don't get it and then something else happens and in retrospect you realize man if i had

01:41:27.640 gotten that thing that i thought i wanted it would have ruined my life exactly because that's

01:41:31.480 happened to me multiple times so i it's kind of in self-preservation i say if it be your will

01:41:38.320 yeah i sure would like this thing but if it's not your will i don't want that thing because it's

01:41:41.900 going to screw up my life yeah that's how i pray too and it's it's um it's an extra step with me

01:41:47.660 to do that intentionally because coming from new ageism it's all like self-sovereignty and it's my

01:41:55.740 will it's it's what i decide so i make it a point to i'm handing it to you like i i don't want to

01:42:04.480 make it happen i want you to make it happen and work through me and he's really been just like the

01:42:11.720 blessings are just it's insane just flooding yeah ever since the the episode release where i denounced

01:42:20.720 moon and back that day it was really funny because i had spent the whole year trying to build this

01:42:26.700 thing this this podcast and my my audience it was just struggling like i was just struggling i'm like

01:42:32.340 paying for ads nothing's like really like it would like spark but then it wouldn't like pop off yeah

01:42:36.800 and so i released the final episode oh here comes the audience you were looking for it was it was like

01:42:43.160 that and that's just how it's been with god ever since it's like when i listen to him and i'm not

01:42:48.240 saying like god's a vending machine like that's not what i'm saying at all like just you know ask

01:42:52.280 him for things and he'll do it for you it's that when he is so pleased that you are in his will he

01:43:01.040 will really show you what his will is all about and it's been it's just been incredible you know he

01:43:07.280 he brought so many good people to me right away to kind of like scoop me under their wing and

01:43:12.080 like the guys in cultish i told you about just kind of give me solid theology and um

01:43:20.120 good discipleship and just good people because you really you need to be surrounded by good

01:43:28.440 people that love god if you're gonna stay um vigorous on your walk because it's so easy to get swept up in

01:43:36.760 all the crap of course yeah so i was really blessed for that god brought so many good people

01:43:42.720 into my life and that he continues to it's really incredible um and that's what i mean that i'm i'm so

01:43:49.040 honored and humbled too that this is what he's decided to be done for me um and that he saw me

01:44:00.180 in all of the junk that i was in and that he heard me that day yeah you know and i think back to

01:44:10.280 kind of how my my when my grandma passed and how that felt i was mad at god at the time and i remember

01:44:18.480 writing about that specifically you know like saying like god wouldn't do this to a good person but it's

01:44:24.240 like i see like all the moving parts of it now i see if if that never happened the way it happened i

01:44:30.880 never would have been led down this dark path and it's like it's like god kind of knew that the only

01:44:35.080 way he would be able that i'd be able to see his light if i if if i was so far in darkness that at

01:44:42.300 that point i had i literally had nowhere else to look except up like for the first time in my life

01:44:46.960 yeah this is the virtue of resignation and i i remember it too when i you know i was a teenager and

01:44:53.620 had to deal with loss i did come to the conclusion that you could either react with anger and a chip on

01:45:02.520 your shoulder that would probably never go away and probably only continue to deepen and chipping

01:45:08.420 or with resignation it's very difficult to react with resignation because we you know always want

01:45:15.460 to be vigorous and you know i'm i'm of the italian people we're very keen on you know vengeance and

01:45:22.040 you know blood boils a little bit and and so resignation is a tricky one but it it's a virtue

01:45:29.020 for a reason you know and and uh it also then raises this question which i guess brings us entirely full

01:45:35.440 circle to astrology in a way in the good way which is for all my sins i have 100 percent confidence in

01:45:49.840 providence i am just so convinced of of providence that i usually don't get too riled when something

01:46:02.060 really bad happens or when something really good happens and it's probably going to kill my career

01:46:06.460 because if you want to be a professional conservative you have to be angry all the time

01:46:09.200 and i'm not i'm not i'm almost never angry but that's why that's why i have i for every other flaw

01:46:18.820 i just i'm because i've just seen it you know i've seen it so clearly sometimes especially when you're

01:46:24.540 really screwing up god will just shake you and say like hey idiot you know i'm here hey hey look

01:46:29.160 you know my priest father george rutler in new york has a great book called coincidentally and in the

01:46:35.080 little flap of it he says it's a wicked generation that seeks for signs and wonders but it's a stupid

01:46:41.420 generation that ignores signs and wonders yeah sometimes they're kind of undeniable you know

01:46:47.280 and when you see that and you say okay there is a divine order to things and so all right shake it

01:46:53.260 off yeah keep on going that's why i said at the beginning that my grandma dying was the worst thing

01:46:57.840 that's ever happened to me and it's the worst thing that will ever happen to me because i have that

01:47:02.140 knowing now that no matter what happens like i'm first of all romans believe it's 818 it says

01:47:10.120 this you know the sufferings of this world can't compare to the eternal glory and i think of that

01:47:17.040 all the time if something's wrong and ultimately god's in control and it's okay so it's been

01:47:24.500 it's been i mean for me to say that versus what i would have said a year ago a year and six months

01:47:31.800 ago totally different like totally different because i would have believed that all the

01:47:39.240 suffering would be and in a way i was right in fact eternal if we if we didn't fix it if we

01:47:48.020 weren't the ones in authority if we weren't the ones that were sovereign if we weren't the ones that

01:47:51.720 were in control and now it's just nope it's god you know there's a baker down in my favorite

01:48:00.380 neighborhood in the world i guess but it's in the bronx it's called arthur avenue it's the real

01:48:06.780 little italy in the bronx and this baker i've been going since i was a kid and he wear this hat i love

01:48:11.920 jesus and he had a kind of a rough early part of his life and conversion experience goes to daily mass

01:48:18.120 and he's just a wonderful guy and uh as i was reverting i was thinking of all these very you

01:48:24.080 know abstract arguments for the existence of god and trying to pursue all this sort of more of an

01:48:29.300 intellectual path and i was talking to him about this and he was kind of there was a kind of a

01:48:35.980 pivotal moment with him he goes hey buddy boy you know i do my best god does the rest you know buddy

01:48:41.640 i do my best god does the rest i say oh that's wiser than pretty much any book i've read in the

01:48:48.780 last six months it's not that i'm gonna i'm gonna chart the stars and talk to the car dealer and do

01:48:56.120 the necromancy and then i'm gonna do it and i mean my and i mean my it's now you know i'll do my best

01:49:01.860 god will do the rest and honestly it's exhausting to be in that lifestyle and those beliefs and i actually

01:49:10.260 had someone say to me once well it seems like christianity is the easy way out because of what

01:49:15.100 we're saying like oh well if god's in control then i'm not and it's all in his hands great i don't have

01:49:19.300 to worry about anything not like that at all first of all but his yoke is easy and his burden is light

01:49:24.540 that's what they mean indeed and that's probably not what they mean that's not what they mean they

01:49:28.800 mean that well if you're saying god's in control god is providence then what about you like where's

01:49:36.480 your role in it it's the easy way out where you know maybe the new age beliefs are all about

01:49:41.560 healing yourself and making yourself better

01:49:45.060 but really that's the easy way out because it comes back to again accountability right you're not

01:49:54.820 accountable to god so that's the easy way out because if you're not accountable to

01:50:02.340 the creator of the universe then you're just accountable to yourself which is the creator

01:50:10.440 of your chaos essentially when you love someone you want to make that person happy and that carries

01:50:16.960 an obligation and the church is traditionally understood as the bride of christ right and is

01:50:21.620 the bride of christ and exactly it's not it's not easy like god makes it simple but it's not easy to

01:50:29.340 walk the narrow road every day i forget who said it perhaps it was john piper who said that

01:50:35.520 no one like the christian understands temptation because people just whenever they feel tempted they

01:50:46.600 just give into it yeah whereas when christians feel tempted you kind of got to put your blinders on and

01:50:51.720 just keep going and you sometimes give into it right because we're going to that's why that's why jesus

01:50:57.220 you know died for sin because he knew sin would be the biggest problem so i i mean i fully agree

01:51:04.800 with that and i and i see now how all that work you know it was always that's that's the mantra doing

01:51:11.140 the work you're doing the work you're doing the work and that's self-help too it's like you're doing

01:51:15.920 the work you're doing the work to heal you're doing the work to heal it's like okay but for what

01:51:19.400 because it's all futile yeah because you can't save yourself i would say you can't be your own

01:51:23.680 problem your own solution and it's like self-help self-love self-hate like it's all one in the same

01:51:29.760 because ultimately what's the root it's self and so sometimes i get well is it wrong to want to

01:51:38.100 better yourself and like absolutely not of course not i think that in in a way we all want to be

01:51:43.820 better hopefully we all want to be a better person and i believe that is kind of you know the knowing

01:51:48.980 that we have sin but i digress that's the process of sanctification is is becoming holier but people

01:51:55.820 outside of it think that well if if the opposite of self-love that's self-hate but that's not true

01:52:01.140 you know i think the opposite of self-love is is self-sacrifice and that's really kind of what

01:52:09.300 walking with god is in a lot of ways right there's that that uh idea i forget which playwright

01:52:17.100 wrote it figured it was shaw or moliere or i don't know it was one of those guys said that uh hell

01:52:23.060 is uh where you have nothing to do all day but amuse yourself right so it's uh and it is everyone

01:52:29.500 knows it everyone knows who's ever had a vacation from school by day three you just want to pull

01:52:34.640 your hair out you're just so you've got nothing left to do you have no sense of purpose and so

01:52:38.500 when you are sacrificing for others when you're serving others uh you will you you will have far

01:52:45.120 greater love than when you're just trying to amuse yourself and that doesn't mean serving others

01:52:48.860 based on if they wake up one day and they'd want to be a boy if they're a girl that doesn't that

01:52:53.620 doesn't serve anybody it means serving serving people in truth yeah and leading with truth which

01:52:58.880 brings us back to there is an objective reality and there is an objective standard and there is an

01:53:04.720 objective truth that the definition of truth is not fluid or wouldn't be truth truth is

01:53:11.600 you know unwavering rock solid so there has to there has to be a truth by definition you either

01:53:20.440 more yourself to that that rock or you're just floating into outer space next to all your star

01:53:27.160 systems and your old alien buddies yeah that's not a great place to be sure ain't angela such a

01:53:33.200 pleasure to be with you we'll have to have you back into another two hours sounds good where can

01:53:38.360 people find you in the meantime so i'm on instagram my full name angela marie ucci it's a-n-g-e-l-a-m-a-r-i-e-u-c-c-i

01:53:47.060 and then my podcast is heaven and healing podcast and that's the actual n symbol and that right

01:53:54.280 now is on apple spotify and youtube and who knows maybe i'll be on the daily wire or something

01:54:00.640 you know you're on the daily wire right now you know what i mean you know i'm on instagram at

01:54:05.240 michael j knowles and i'll have to check my dms more frequently because i apparently missed some

01:54:11.420 of them but i'm glad that we could get you on the show so it's providentially in any case even

01:54:16.120 thanks for coming it was great thank you for having me

01:54:18.940 you

01:54:29.820 you

01:54:31.820 you

01:54:35.820 you

01:54:37.820 you

The Michael Knowles Show - October 21, 2022

Former Astrologist Explains Danger of New Age Practices ｜ Angela Ucci

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